" Naomi's okay with it?" " Yes." "With you and me, she's okay with it?" "You told her we were sleeping together, and she's fine with that?" "No, I'm just saying..." "Her ex-husband and best friend doing all kinds of pervy, hot, nasty, sexy..." "She was surprised, yes, but, we drank some wine." "We did what we do, and in the end, she was fine." "It's okay." "She's okay." "If you say so." "Why can't you believe that she's okay?" "Would you be?" "Running's for idiots." "It's so good having you living here again." "It makes my mornings 100% more interesting." "And the evenings?" "They're pretty awesome, too." "Could you hold that?" " Where you going?" " Fifth floor." "Me, too." " First visit?" " I've, been avoiding this." "Don't worry." "You're gonna love everybody in there." "You cannot be here." "Who needs cereal when you can have..." "Chocolate cupcakes?" "You take my husband, and all I get are chocolate cupcakes?" "As far as guilt gifts go, you kinda cheaped out a little." "No, that's not what this is." "I didn't mean to..." "I'm kidding." " Good." " I'm fine, Addison." "I'm okay." "I'm fine." "We're fine." " Thank you for being so understanding." " I'm not doing it for you." "With Dell and Maya and William, I'm just, letting it all go." "I'm just, done carrying around all my anger." "Get the hell outta here!" "Get the hell outta here." " Easy, Sam." " You got nerve, showing up like this!" " I need to talk." " What's going on?" " It's the guy that hit Maya and Dell." " I am so sorry." "No!" "You don't get a chance to be sorry." "He doesn't get a chance to apologize!" "Please, I could give anything to take it back, but I can't." "I made a deal with the prosecutor." "I'm being sentenced." "I'll go to jail." "I deserve that." "But I just wanted..." "I don't know." "If you could forgive me..." " Come on." " Let him go." "As far as I'm concerned, you shouldn't even be alive." "Let him go right now." "Someone call 911." " My chest!" " Get the oxygen." "Take slow, deep breaths." "Breathe." "Breathe." "Saison 04 épisode 03 Playing God" "I know you're upset, but to jump this man..." " Do you know I'm upset?" " I understand, but..." "Cause you should've been choking him... {\" " Why?" " }Instead of standing back..." " What do you expect me to do?" " I expect you to back me up." " What, back you up?" " She's your daughter." " Of course she's my daughter." " I want you to remember her..." " What's that about?" " Chickens coming home to roost." "Can somebody translate?" "The guy who killed Dell showed up to apologize." "And Sam took matters into his own hands, literally, like..." "Good for Sam." "The guy should've crawled into a deep, dark hole and disappeared." "Give him credit for having the guts to walk through the door, face all of us." "He know what kind of reception he get." "If he'd almost killed my kid, I'd make sure he rotted in prison for the rest of his life." "Don't you have things to do?" " Don't think so." " I'm clear." "I hate what he did every bit as much as you do, but you can go, attack him." " Why are you defending him?" " I'm not defending him," " but he did come here to apologize." " Apologize?" "Apologize for killing Dell and almost killing our daughter?" " What kind of apology..." " I don't know." "You didn't give the man a chance to speak." "Spoke to the hospital, and," "Troy Hagen is stable, but his EKG does show signs of new changes." "Are you okay?" "I don't know whathe needs to say to make you feel good about him getting drunk, driving into Maya and Dell." "He killed a man!" " He doesn't get my forgiveness." " Maybe you can calm him down." "Some things don't deserve to be forgiven!" " What do we have?" " 45-year-old teacher, passed out in the middle of school play." "Now he's complaining about persistent chest pains." " Looks like an acute MI." " What's your plan?" "He needs to go up for a bypass." "I got a stab wound to the chest to deal with." " Get him to the OR." "If you need help..." " I'm good." " You sure?" " Absolutely." "Okay, thanks." "All right, let's go." "The kids refused to finish the show." "They're really worried." "We're gonna do the best we can." " So I guess this means no dinner?" " One second." "We're supposed to meet Derek and Addison at the restaurant in 20 minutes." "There's Addison, so I guess Derek's at a restaurant by himself." "I hear you're doing a bypass on your own." " I just got it." " I picked up a bilateral oophorectomy, but I don't start cutting for another couple of hours." "I can watch?" "All right, you guys have fun." "I have a babysitter, and Derek made the reservation, so I'm having dinner with your husband." "I'll try not to steal him." "Apologize to Derek for me." "What's wrong?" "Do me a favor." "Take this to radiology." "Ask them for a CT angio before the OR." " Sure." " Thanks." " Is it worse than you thought?" " It might be." "I just, if there's a chance I'm not gonna make it," " I need to talk to somebody." " We could do that." "You need a priest?" "I've done some really bad things, and, every day I tell myself that I'm gonna stop, but I can't." "I know they're only children, but I can't help myself." "I need to touch them." "I try, but I can't stop." "And I'm so sorry." " You okay?" " I will be." "I was with that guy on the elevator." "He seemed, nice." "I had no idea." " Maybe this is not a good time." " No." "Please." "Distract me." "Okay, you should hire me." "Please don't beat around the bush on my account." "You got a nice little practice here." "The baby thing is covered, you got shrinks for the screwups, specialists who handle everything from heart attacks to hernias." "What you don't have is a neurosurgeon." " I'm listening." " I graduated top of class at Harvard." "I did my residency at Johns Hopkins." "I have published enough research to single-handedly wipe out several forests." "I'm the real deal." "I'm a kick-ass, world-class catch." "Did Addison coach you on how do sell yourself?" "We haven't discussed it yet." "But you are the big boss now?" "You obviously have impressive credentials, but this practice is about cooperative medicine, not solo surgeries." "You could go anywhere you want." "Why here?" "I like to cut." "I won't deny that." "That this would be a good environment for me to broaden my skill set." "Don't give me the rehearse answer." "I have nowhere else to go, where I'm not alone." "Derek forgave me, but..." "I have nowhere else to go." "Let you know, I ordered us a new bed today." "I hope you like it." " I don't see why I wouldn't." " It's a lot firmer." "It's basically a wooden plank." "I don't know if that's your thing, yeah, and we're getting a dog, a mastiff, 160 pounds, very drooly, sleep in the bed with us." "Dog whisperer, whatever you say, spit it out, cause I get to the hospital before Troy Hagen's heart peters out or Sam rips it from his chest." "Why are you house hunting without me?" "Pull up your bra strap." "I hired a realtor when you kicked me out, and then we got engaged, I told her to look for something bigger." "It's a house." "It's kind of a big deal." "But we need to move." "What's wrong with the loft?" "It's too grungy, the neighbors are freakishly chipper, and it'd be nice to sleep in a place that wasn't a fond memory for half the tramps in LA." "You know what?" "That's not fair." "I went out of my way to make that place feel like ours." "I took down all the Houdini posters," " I let you redo the bathroom." " I'm doing cartwheels." "Can we agree that it's something that we should consider together?" "Fine." "I'm seeing a house in the palisades tomorrow, 8:00." "Stop whining, and you can join me." "So this guy, he's got a piece of phosphorus stuck in his thigh, he's screaming, cause that stuff burns." " It was a bullet wound in his back..." " Pete's got his hand on my shirt," " he's trying to drag me out of the hut." " It was on fire." "The Ugandan rebel army was about to get there..." "It was Eritrea, I wasn't leave the guy." "It was either leave you there or let you get shot." "Can somebody tell me what happened to the guy?" "We got him out." "We stabilized him, then together, we carried him 4 miles to the nearest refugee camp." "You know, Violet, I like you." "You're beautiful, you're smart." "What are you doing with this guy?" " Haven't figured that out yet." " Stop flirting?" "Get your own wife." "This is ridiculous." "You've been in town running your clinic for what, six months, and this is the first time we've met?" "Gibby is impossible to nail down." "He doesn't even have a cell phone." "Never found much use for one in the jungle." "Excuse me." "Come in." "Come in." "Dr. Gibson, it's my husband." "We were making dinner, and he had these bad pains in his belly." "It's getting worse." " Rock hard." " Could be a perfed appy." " I'll call an ambulance." " No, wait." "Give me a hand." "On three." "One, two, three." "We'll take him down there." "What are you doing?" "Saving his life." "Come on." "We can drive him to the hospital right now." "Is is insane." "You could lose your license." " You could be sued for malpractice." " Or I could save his life so his wife doesn't become a widow, so his kids don't lose their father." "Belly's full of puss." "I could really use a hand." "Just till we get him stabilized, and then I'm outta here." "I promise." "I'm tired." "You had a right to get angry today." " He hit Maya." " I don't want to talk about it." "I'm tired." "Good night." "What do you think, diplomas behind the desk or on the side wall?" "This is one of the things you were gonna catch me up on?" "Pretty cool?" "Can you hand me that box?" "Sure." "I hope I didn't keep you up last night." "I was nervous about Naomi's decision, so I just," " got up and watched a movie." " No." "I was at" "Sam's." "I didn't even know you were in the house." "So, how was Seattle?" "I had sex with Mark Sloan." "That man has skills." "Face like an angel, hips like the devil?" " Right?" " Right." "Anyway, it's all kinda turning around for me." "Derek and I are back on track, and I'm starting this fantastic new job." "New job." " What?" " It's just a little weird that Naomi didn't mention this to me." "Usually we make these decisions as a group." "She probably figured you wouldn't mind." "You don't, do you?" "No, of course not." "First earthquake, that house just tumbles right down that hill." "Being on the hill is what gives it those amazing ocean views." "It have an even better view when it lands in the actual ocean." "You're just punishing me cause I started looking without you." "You're not listening." "I don't want to look at all." "I hate your place, cause it reminds me of all the things I screwed up, all the fights we had." "You not letting me after you found out I was building a practice downstairs, standing like an idiot with a cornbread chicken casserole in your bedroom trying to make up after I tried to force you to elope, fighting over that damn latex jumpsuit" "after I bought you into the practice." "And we can't move forward if that's staring me in the face every day." "You never told me any of this." "Now you know." "Amelia works here now." "I know." "I hired her." "It's a little weird that you decided without telling me." "You decided to sleep with my ex without telling me." "Seriously?" "You know, it..." "Babies are tiny terrorists." "I am dying from sleep deprivation." "Lucas was up five times last night." " Where was Pete?" " He was operating in a house." "His friend runs a neighborhood clinic, and he sees no problem with performing emergency surgeries there." "That cannot be legal." "That's not the biggest concern his patients have." "Surgeries, in a house." "I didn't say I agreed with it, but I get it." "People he treats don't have any money or insurance." "They're scared of trying navigate system..." "A county hospital is better equipped to deal with emergencies than someone's living room." "We're talking surgery in an unsterile environment." "The risk of staph infection is huge..." "Cause nobody got a staph infection in a hospital." "Okay." "Fine." "What about if something goes wrong?" "Gibby doesn't have the resources to deal with that." "Things go wrong in hospitals, too." "And I'm minding my own business." " You're mad that I stayed..." " That guy coulda died." "But he didn't, today, he's home recovering with his family." " So that justifies what you did?" " I helped a friend save a life." "Gibby is helping himself." "I know he's trying to do something good here, but there's, there's better ways." "There's safer ways of doing that, only none of them feed the God complex that he's got going on." "The patient has CAD with crescendo angina." "My plan is to cool him down, then do a 3-way bypass." "I'll schedule an OR for you." "I called in Campbell to handle Mr. Hagen's case." " She's gonna do a cabg." " I don't want to know." "I respect that." " You want me to leave this up?" " What?" "No." " Are you sure?" " Yeah." "I gotta go." "Hagen did ask to speak to you." "I told him I'd pass it along." "I told you, I don't want to deal with this." " What is it?" " Double lumen on an aortic arch." "A dissecting aneurysm?" "That's a different surgery altogether." "You gonna get your attending up here" " I'm gonna scrub in." " Are you sure?" " He's a child molester." " What?" "He thinks that he's gonna die, so he wanted to get it off his chest." "He's a pedophile." "I'm doing the surgery." "I can handle it." "Hold still." "Yo se que duele." "One more minute." "You're back and with gifts." "I noticed you were running a little low on supplies." "Thanks, man." "You're a lifesaver." "Last night, too." " Hope that didn't rock boat at home." " It'll blow over." "I've been thinking about your setup here." "And, I've got some contacts at surgery centers." "So why don't you let me make some calls, see what I can work out for you?" "Most of them don't even have cars, none of them want to be part of a system that's failed them." " I'm fine with that." " One goes wrong..." "I don't remember you being such a worrier." "What's wrong with that little girl?" "I don't know." "I haven't had time to check her out yet." "This is triage." "You know game." "The sicker ones go first." "Can I look at your arm?" "Te prometo que no te haré daño." "El es mi amigo." " Escuchalo." " It's popped out of its socket." "Here." "It's okay." "There." "Who's next?" "Troy Hagen's refusing treatment." "But he has unstable angina." " He's die if he doesn't have surgery." " Seems to be the point." " It's his choice." " Maybe he's trying to skip jail." "He's not." "He feels like he doesn't deserve to live." " Has anyone asked Sam to talk to him?" " Ask Sam to talk to who about what?" "Someone has to convince Hagen to have surgery." "Why?" "I thought you guys were all into helping people." "No." "Screw him." "I get that you're emotional about this." "The guy made a mistake." "Does that mean that he deserves to die?" "Isn't the question whether we have to go out of our way to help him live?" "Where have you been?" "I've been calling you for hours." "I was at the clinic with Gibby." " I was treating patients." " You missed three appointments." "I know." "I'll ask them to reschedule." "I've decided to volunteer at the clinic one afternoon a week." "There were 20 people in his waiting room and more standing outside, people who have nowhere else to go, who need help." " You help people here every day." " It's not the same." "Our clients have money." "They can pay for the care." "These people have nothing." "They need me." "I get it." "And it's noble." "It's just too risky," "For Gibby, for the patients, for you..." " Spare me the sermon." " I don't want to give you a sermon." "I want you to think about what you're doing." "I know what I'm doing." "I thought you'd already be cutting." " I'm heading in right now." " I'm glad I caught you." "I wore this cap for my first solo surgery, so..." " It's good luck." " I'm already scrubbed in, so could you?" "Sure." " You okay?" " Yeah, I'm fine." " You can do this." " Yeah, I know I can." "I've done grafts on a hundred pig hearts." "That's not what I meant." "I have a daughter." "A daughter who's younger than those kids." " It's irrelevant." " Irrelevant?" "You're his surgeon." "That's that should concern you." "Your job isn't to judge his life, it's to save his life." "That's all." "Right?" "You need to convince Sam to talk to Troy Hagen." "We weren't talking about Sam." "No, I can talk about Sam." "You don't get to." "But, you do need to straighten him out." "This is not something that is up for discussion with him." " I know Sam, and he..." " No, I know Sam." "You're just sleeping with him." "I'm sorry." "You really want to be with Sam?" "You need to be with him." "You gotta be his sounding board, his conscience." "You need to kick him in the behind when he needs it." "You got a stubborn man on your hands, and it's not okay to just walk away when things get hard." "Step up." "You're not gonna tell Pete, are you?" "What, that we're having lunch on a nonprescribed day?" " Cause I keep Charlotte in the dark." " I don't think Pete would care." "All he's thinking about is how to get back to the jungle where he can perform open-heart surgery with a pen knife." "You hate the jungle." "You don't like grass." "He's struggling with the path not taken." "Wait, I thought he already took that path, and then got off?" "Being around Gibby has obviously, tapped into something, you know?" "He's so happy and reenergized..." "And no, I want him to be happy." "I do." "Not at any cost." "Pete's no dummy." "He's making a choice." "Just like Charlotte, who's just deciding she hates my apartment." " So we're on to you now?" " She wants to move." "It's a bachelor pad." " You can't blame her." " No more than you can blame Pete." "So what are we gonna do?" "You're the shrink." "What would you tell a patient?" "I would say, you have to confront your problems." "Be honest, and then, whatever happens, happens." "People pay you for that?" "That looks like not even a little bit of fun." "It's just this foundation paperwork." "I don't even know where to begin." "I'm much more interested in just looking at pictures of Olivia." "That baby has my ears, too." "It must be me." "I have baby ears." "Let me see." "Did you need something?" "I just wanted to make sure that you were okay?" "Having Troy Hagen show up, yeah, that really threw me." "And I miss William." "But I was talking more about the whole Sam and Addison thing." "And I know from having to watch Violet and Pete, and Charlotte and Cooper that it can make work a little awkward." "I'm fine." "You know, Sam and I, we had our shot." "It seems only fair that he and Addison should have theirs, so I'm fine." "That's an admirable position to take." "I don't want to be someone who can't move forward." "Sure, sure." "But sometimes what we want to be and what we actually feel can be two different things." "I'm not proud of it, but once when no one was around," "I licked Pete's bagel." "Okay, I'm a little proud of it." "But my point is that you should give yourself permission to use whatever kind of coping mechanism you need, screaming, crying, maybe even a dartboard with both their faces." "Do whatever you need to do." "Trust me." "I'm licensed to give that kind of advice." " What are you doing?" " Gibby called." " He has an emergency." " Call an ambulance." " Let them deal with it." " That's not this works." "That's exactly how this works." "When you have an emergency, you call 911, and they take you to the hospital." " I knew you wouldn't understand." " Then talk to me." "Explain to me why my husband would risk everything, his practice, his medical license, his family." "Cause some old ghost from his past asked him to." "I mist this kind of work." "The rush of it, the way it makes me feel..." "I knew you wouldn't understand." "I used to work with inner-city single moms." "I used to counsel rape victims." "I ran a suicide hotline." "I do understand." "But I didn't break any laws doing it." "Don't wait up." "Why are you lurking?" "I'm not lurking." "I do not lurk." "About this whole Troy Hagen thing..." "I don't want to talk about him." "What, Addison?" "Why did you quit doing heart surgery before?" " Why?" " I'm not discussing that." " Just leave it alone." " No." "That patient, that pedophile," " and now Troy Hagen..." " Shut up." "Please." "Shut up." "What did you do?" "Doctors choose to nothing all the time." "You know it." "I know it." "It's the dirty little secret of surgery," "Doctors choose to do nothing." "When the patient is brain dead or is gonna suffer or is too far gone..." "Doctors choose to do nothing." "They choose to do nothing for the right reasons." "Tell me." "It's okay." "Just..." "What did you do?" "Okay, he's off bypass." "He's in fib." "Lost his pulse." " Starting cardiac massage." " He's still in fib." "Internal paddles ready." "No pulse with direct massage." "You're losing him." "Should I page Dr. Warren?" "No." "Asystole." "Internal paddles ready." "It's over." "We should stop." " But..." " We should stop." "Time of deaf, 20:13." "" " What the hell happened in there?" " Keep your voice down." " Tell me." " I made a judgment call." " I made a call." " It was a bad call." "You don't know that, not for sure." " Nobody knows that." " You know that." "Look me in the eye." "Tell me that you didn't just..." "I made a call." "Leave it alone." "I'm done." " What?" " I quit." "I let everybody think that I froze cause it was easier, but..." "I made a choice." "You let him die." "You knew." "You knew I let him die." "I didn't want to believe it, and then you quit surgery, so," "I guess I just kind of let it go." "Not everybody deserves our help." "No, not everybody deserves our respect, but our help?" "Nothing you can say right now that's gonna make feel any worse than I already do." "That surgery was 12 years ago." "You're a different man now." " No, it doesn't matter." " It does matter, for you, for us." "And Hagen, somebody else is gonna do that surgery, and whatever happens," " it's not on you." " No, it's all on me." "I'm just asking you to talk to Hagen." "Murderer to murderer?" " What happened?" " Girl took 3 bullets to the abdomen." "We were sitting in the car, these guys pulled up, and I told her to get down." " The bullets were for me." " I get control of 1 bleeder, 2 more open up." "She's bleeding faster than I can fix." "You can save her, right?" "You gotta save her." " We gotta call an ambulance." " No, that wasn't part of the deal." "What, deal?" "Deal?" "Alex and his friends pay me some money from time to time." " You're taking money from gangbangers?" " It keeps the office going." " Would you hand me a 3.0 vicryl?" " So that's the trade-off?" "You look with criminals, cause they're can pay?" "For every Alex pay, I can treat a hundred other patients who can't, so don't tell me I'm doing wrong." "You're risking people's lives, now ours." "We used to do that all the time." "You didn't cry about it." "Back then we didn't have a choice." "Now we do." " Her pressure's dropping." " She needs blood, platelets, FFP." " Do something!" " I don't have access." "That's why she needs to be in a hospital." "We can cross-clamp her aorta, try to maintain CNS function." " Put down the phone." " Listen to me." "Your girlfriend has about five minutes before she bleeds out on that table, and there is nothing, nothing, that we can do here to change that." "Put down the gun!" "Let me save her life." "I've got a teenage female, multiple gunshot wounds." "I need an ambulance." "I was just coming to find you." " I talked to Sam..." " "You're selfish, Addison." ""You always have been." ""The tunnel vision that makes you great surgeon also makes you a crappy friend."" "Please let me finish." "Sheldon told me to do this." "Just please, let me finish." ""You're a cheater, and while Sam and I aren't married anymore," ""you knew what you were doing was wrong, and so you lied to me." ""Every day you didn't tell me about the two of you, you lied," ""because you knew telling the truth would be hard..." ""and you're a coward." ""You're my best friend." ""But when I look at you now," ""I just want to slap you across the face."" "Okay." "I'm finished." " You sure?" " I think so." " Feel better?" " Kind of." "You wanna know why Sam quit surgery 12 years ago?" "He let a pedophile die on his table." "What?" "He made a decision, and it's been eating away at him ever since, and seeing Troy Hagen, it just brought it all back for him." "Nal, I know you're mad at me, I know that we are..." "I can't help him." "He needs you." "I see it on your face when you're here." "You feel it, that thing, the reason we help people." " That girl would've died on your table." " Maybe." "Maybe not." "But now everything I've built," " they're gonna take it away." " Because you went too far." " You disappoint me." " I got nothing to prove to you." "If I hear about another clinic, if I find out that you treated another patient, I'll personally call the cops and shut you down." "I talked to Addison." " She told me." " She told you what?" "I know what happened." "I know." " Look at me." " I am." " Please just look at me." " I am." " I understand." " No, you can't." "No, Sam, I do, but you should've told me, because after that, everything changed." "Maybe not at all once, but..." "But, just enough." "Well, I'm sorry." "I know." " I don't know if that matters anymore." " No, it does." "It matters." "To have someone to listen to you and try to understand..." "It matters." "I'm sorry." "You okay?" "You miss it, doctors without borders," "the adrenaline." "I've been thinking about trying to pick up some emergency room shifts, get back to critical care..." "If we can make it work with your schedule and Lucas." "We'll make it work." "I know," " you don't want to hear an apology..." " No," "I don't." " Whatever I say..." " It's not gonna change anything." "Have the surgery." "Live." "Do better next time." "Wait." "That's it?" "That's all any of us can do." "Should I be worried about what just happened in there?" " Hagen's gonna have the surgery." " Thank you." "Tell Campbell to take another look at the films." "The patient has a pseudoaneurysm." "If Campbell didn't see it, Hagen would've died on the table." " You got a busy day tomorrow?" " Not really." "Good." "Cause I had the realtor set up some appointments." "Why?" "You told to Violet about our fight, she tell you make nice?" "If you're unhappy here, we'll move." "The truth is, I don't see what you see." "When I walk through that front door with you, I remember the first time I brought you how excited I was." "And the bedroom, it doesn't remind me of makeup casseroles and catsuit tug-of-wars." "It reminds me of the first time we had sex." "And for me..." "Now that you're here, everything just feels, right." "How about we make a new memory?" "So Sam convinced Hagen to have the surgery." "I heard." "Thank you." "I'm gonna be out of the office for a few weeks on foundation business." "Can you ask Sam to check in on Maya and Olivia" " for me while I'm gone?" " Sure." "Are we ever gonna be friends the way we were?" "You know, that night, the night he quit surgery?" "He didn't tell me what happened." "We had never had secrets before that." "That was the beginning of the end of us." "I'm sorry." "Take care of him." "This isn't the beginning of the end of you and me." "God, you're much later than I thought." "I had a nice dinner with Derek." " That's good." " How'd the surgery go?" "I lost the patient." "I'm sorry." " Come here." " I'm okay." " I'm gonna go take a shower." " Come here." " This wasn't your fault." " Yeah, I know." "You hear me?" "It was not your fault." "I'm sorry." "Am I a good man?" "Yes."