"(PEOPLE CHATTERING)" "BECCA:" "What would you do to save someone you love?" "For Edward, I would stop at nothing." "(GASPS )" "What is he doing?" "Edward!" "Edward?" "Where?" "Oh, my God!" "There he is!" "Edward, we love you, you're the best!" "No, Jacob's the best!" "(GROANS )" "(ALL YELLING)" "(GRUNTING)" "He's exposing himself!" "(GRUNTING)" "(BOTTLE SHATTERING)" "No!" "No." "Edward!" "(HISSING)" "(GASPS ) -(SNARLS )" "(SCREAMING)" "BECCA:" "Let me start from the beginning." "I used to live with my mom in Nevada." "But now she's always on the road, because she started doing some pro golfer." "So, I came here to the foggy town of Sporks, Washington." "Population.: 3, 120." "(GASPING)" "(SNARLS )" "Holy shit!" "(SNARLS )" "Make that 3, 1 19." "Anyway, I came here to live with my dad, Frank." "He's the town sheriff." "I haven't seen you in a while." "Your hair's longer." "I grew it out." "I guess it's hard for me to accept my little girl's growing up." "I mean, look at the size of those tits." "Dad!" "What?" "(SCOFFS )" "(MYPANTlES PLAYING) I feel so lonely" "Nobody gets me I am so unhappy" "Why can't I find a cool alternative boyfriend?" "BECCA:" "There is something strange about this town." "I couldn't put my finger on it." "(SNARLS )" "I used to live here when I was younger." "But I haven't been back in a long time." "I kept your room just as you left it." "(LULLABY CHIMING)" "Great." "Remember your hamster, Herman?" "Might have missed a couple of feedings." "You could play with your dollies." "BECCA:" "I don't think so." "What's that?" "It's been lonely since your mom left." "(CAR HONKING)" "Oh, hey." "You wanna come downstairs?" "Some people are excited to see you." "Who wants their pacie?" "Good girl." "Dad, I'm a teenager." "Right." "I guess I'd better get you some new stuff then." "BECCA:" "Frank didn't get me." "I wasn't his little girl anymore." "(EX CLAIMS ) -(THUDDING)" "Becca, you remember Bobby White." "BECCA:" "Yeah." "You're looking good." "Good?" "I'm in a wheelchair." "I can't feel anything below my waist." "You know what's below my waist?" "My penis!" "Sorry." "We're all glad you're here, especially your dad." "He wouldn't shut up about you." "careful there, Bob, I'm gonna roll you down the hill." "Oh, boy, I'm real scared." "Bring it on." "(CHUCKLING)" "Boy, here we go!" "You're in trouble there, mister!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Hi." "I'm Jacob." "Hi." "(BOBBY GRUNTING)" "We used to make mud pies together." "(CHUCKLES )" "play doctor?" "Oh, right, right." "(FRANK GROANS )" "I remember now." "I gave you a prostate exam." "So, are we going to be at the same school?" "I go to school on the reservation." "It must be fun to drink and gamble all day." "Too bad we're not gonna be at school together." "It'd be nice to know at Ieast one person." "(GRUNTING CONTINUES )" "(CHUCKLING)" "Got you a welcome home present." "What do you think?" "I think that you're trying to buy my affection with that piece-of-shit truck to make up for the years that you neglected me as a father." "told you she'd Iike it." "(CHUCKLING) That's great." "I fixed up the engine myself." "Thanks, Jacob." "Go ahead, hop in." "(GROANS )" "Okay." "So you gotta pump the gas to start her up." "(SNIFFING) Damn fleas." "(SIGHING CONTENTEDLY)" "Jacob, your foot." "Ever since puberty, I've been feeling a little different." "(CAT MEWING)" "Cat!" "(JACOB BARKING)" "JACOB:" "Come here, cat!" "Come here!" "(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)" "BECCA:" "Transferring to a school that's already in session." "Being the new kid is never easy." "Nice clothes." "still shopping in the boys' section?" "Give her a break." "That's what I used to wear when I was a virgin." "Where'd you get that haircut, "Fantastic Lesbians"?" "(BECCA GRUNTING)" "DERRIC:" "Hey, new kid!" "(BECCA GROANS )" "Hi, I'm Derric." "I'm Becca." "I'm the eyes and ears of this place." "I can hook you up with anything you need." "Cheat sheets, human growth hormone, harvested organs." "(BEATING)" "No, thanks." "Oh, I get it." "You're one of those antisocial, Iong-suffering Ioner types." "actually, I'm more of the humorless type." "Kind of a sourpuss, really." "full of insecurities, with no great personality, yet every hot guy finds me irresistible." "You must be Becca." "I'm Rick." "Damn, girl, you seem really boring and frigid." "You want to go to the prom with me?" "See?" "I'm Jennifer, future prom queen." "I'm gonna pretend to be your BFF, but if you touch Rick's wang," "I'II cut you." "(RICK SIGHS )" "Who are they?" "Oh!" "Those are the SuIIens." "They're, Iike, all adopted by Dr. carlton, so they're not bioIogicaIIy-reIated, but they're really, really close." "They moved here a few years ago, and they're, Iike, super-weird." "It's a total mystery." "Their skin is ice-coId, they feed on human flesh, and they all sleep in coffins." "Maybe they're Canadian." "Oh!" "Oh!" "And who's that?" "Snooki, JWOWW, DJ PauIy D..." "No." "Not the douchebags from the Jersey Shore." "Him." "The really pale dude with big hair and constipated look." "(CLEARING THROAT) Edward sullen." "(GIGGLING) He's a complete hottie." "But, evidently, no one here is worthy." "He wouldn't even accept me as his Facebook friend." "BECCA: "Favorite activity." ""Searching for a soul which has been cast into eternal damnation"?" "But I don't care about Edward." "I've got another guy on the side." "Yeah." "sadly, he went off to fight in Iraq for a year." "But we write to each other all the time." "His name is John." "JENNIFER: "Dear John, two weeks together." ""That's all it took to fall in love with you." ""And in those two weeks, you did things to me no guy had ever done before." ""l still can't ride a bicycle. "" "Are you, Iike, even listening?" "(SCOFFS )" "Oh!" "You guys are having, Iike, an instant connection." "How can you tell?" "Duh." "Hardwicke 101?" "You're both staring at each other in slow motion, which although cheesy and obvious, it underscores your respective yearnings." "Oh!" "Right." "(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)" "(RETCHING)" "Ah!" "Becca." "Why don't you take the empty seat next to that mysterious boy you're destined to have a fatalistic relationship with that will spawn four books and a movie franchise?" "(SNIFFING)" "(EXHALING)" "(SNIFFING)" "Do I smell?" "Yeah." "Like tuna." "Lunch." "(AIR HISSING)" "I'm Becca." "I'm Edward." "So you're new to Sporks." "How do you Iike the weather?" "I don't like cold, wet things." "So you must hate SIurpees." "(SLURPING)" "I'm just trying to figure you out." "AII right, class." "Turn to page 63 in your books." "(STUTTERS )" "This is biology." "Why are we reading The Vampire Diaries?" "In the '80s, coke was all the rage." "The '90s, grunge." "Now it's the era of vampires." "It's just super-trendy." "That's amazing." "(GURGLING)" "(GURGLING CONTINUES )" "(BABY CRYING)" "(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)" "(CLANGING)" "Oh!" "Hi. (GASPS )" "Why aren't you wearing a shirt?" "I work part-time at Abercrombie  Fitch." "It's always the same inane questions." ""Who are you?" "Why are you doing this?"" ""Are you a natural redhead?"" "Yeah." "Oh, that's hot." "I got a serious case of the munchies." "And I think you know what I need to eat." "Cheetos?" "Oh, hell, yeah." "Thanks, dawg." "You a'ight with me." "(ANTOINE LAUGHING) Whoo!" "Uh..." "Antoine?" "What?" "The killing." "(GASPING)" "Oh!" "Right." "My fault." "You know who we are, don't you?" "(SNARLING)" "Yes." "You're the black Eyed Peas!" "Come on." "Not again." "Why does everyone always think we're the black Eyed Peas?" "I mean, her, I get." "I get it." "She looks just like Fergie." "And he looks like WiII.i. am, but, Jesus Christ, they don't even have a white guy in their band!" "(SNARLING)" "Ow!" "He hit me!" "SCULLEY:" "That's right!" "Mixed martial arts, Tae Bo, and YogaIates created this!" "Huh?" "(GROANS )" "How you Iike that, pretty boy?" "(SCREAMING)" "(DISTORTED LAUGHTER)" "Get him off me!" "Get him off me!" "Now the elbow!" "SCULLEY:" "Son of a bitch!" "I am not afraid of you!" "You should be." "(SCULLEY YELLING)" "(TIRES SCREECHING)" "(EX CLAIMS )" "(GASPING)" "(NECK CRACKING)" "(GROANS )" "(YELLING)" "(YELLING)" "(YELLING)" "Damn that overwrought unrequited teenage love." "(STUDENTS CHATTERING)" "BECCA:" "I couldn't stop thinking about Edward Sullen." "No mortal could have had the strength to do that." "Or possess such amazing dexterity." "He can't be human." "(EXHALING)" "GOSSIP GIRL:" "Meanwhile, uptown, Blair was getting cozy with Nate, who was secretly crushing on Serena." "BECCA:" "Excuse me, but you're interrupting my narration." "GOSSIP GIRL:" "Oh, shit!" "Wrong show!" "X-O-X-O, Gossip Girl." "JACOB:" "Becca!" "(GASPING) Jacob." "I heard about the accident." "Are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine." "I got you these." "(CHUCKLES )" "Thanks, Jacob." "You're so sweet and thoughtful." "Any girl would be lucky to have you." "Just not me, of course." "You're like my little gay brother." "I heard you were hanging out with Edward sullen." "Stay away from him." "There's just something really odd about that guy." "FRANK:" "Becca!" "I'd better go." "Hey, sweetheart." "There you are." "There was a killing today." "Fisherman ScuIIey, by the docks." "The blood was drained from his body and he had multiple bite wounds all over his neck." "You know what that means?" "The Kardashians are in town." "(GASPING)" "Here." "I want you to have this." "Mace?" "You're my little girl, and there's a killer on the loose." "I'm not gonna leave until I know you can protect yourself." "Now, I'm going to come at you, and I want you to mace me." "Dad..." "Honey, I've been trained for this, okay?" "Here I come." "(YELLING)" "Good God!" "God damn it!" "(YELLING CONTINUES )" "It's so painful!" "It burns!" "Sorry, Dad." "No!" "I'm proud of you." "Are you okay?" "Mace will only temporarily stop your attacker." "You have to hit a man where he breathes, Becca." "(BECCA GRUNTING)" "(GROANING)" "(SHUDDERING)" "(IN HIGH-PITCHED TONE) You got the franks and beans there." "Good for you." "But I'm still coming at you." "Rip off the moustache, sweetheart." "But you love your moustache." "If anything happened to you, I couId not live with myself." "Do it!" "Do it!" "Do it!" "(YELLING)" "You're good to go." "(YELLING CONTINUES )" "(GASPING)" "Edward?" "Uh..." "Am I dreaming?" "Right." "You're dreaming." "So you're not really here?" "exactly." "Go back to sleep." "Yeah." "(GRUNTS )" "Got to..." "Got to TiVo Wizards of Waverly Place." "(MOANING)" "Patrón!" "Mario López!" "(SIGHS IN DISGUST)" "(MUTTERING)" "Becca, you're sleepwalking." "(YELLING)" "(SIGHING)" "Hey, you're sleepwalking." "(SIGHS )" "(BECCA GRUNTING)" "(CONTINUES MUTTERING)" "Just you breathing is the greatest gift you could give me." "(FARTING)" "(EX CLAIMING IN DISGUST)" "(GLASS SHATTERING)" "(DOG BARKING)" "BECCA:" "I started to wonder, maybe I wasn't dreaming after all." "I had to figure out the riddle." "Who was Edward Sullen?" "Was he human, or something different entirely?" "Oh, snap!" "He dropped his business card!" "(ENGINE FIRES )" "PRINCIPAL ON PA:" "Good morning, Sporks High students!" "Tickets are now on sale for prom." "And after school today, don't forget to visit the quad for the blood drive generously sponsored by the Sullen family." "Prom !" "Come to prom!" "Prom's almost here!" "Prom!" "Here!" "Get your flyer for prom." "DERRIC:" "Check it out." "We finally got a theme." "It's gonna be awesome." "The theme is vampires?" "We just came up with it randomly!" "cool, huh?" "(SNARLING)" "It's gonna be like the festival of St. SaIvatore," "like the one they have in italy every year that celebrates the killing of vampires." "And we're renting out a huge stone courtyard." "It's gonna feel just like we're in the 15th century." "It should be super fun." "Lots of red capes, blood and binge drinking!" "You in?" "I don't know." "Prom's really not my thing." "well, it's my thing." "I mean, really, Becca, what is with you?" "Prom is, Iike, the pivotal moment in any girl's life." "I've only been dreaming about being crowned prom queen since I was a sperm in my dad's balls. (SCOFFS )" "We need to talk." "Your skin is pale white." "You dress fashionably." "And you abstain from sex." "I know what you are." "Say it." "Out loud." "Say it." "Jonas brother." "That's right." "Wait, what?" "No, I'm a vampire." "Duh." "That was my next guess." "Then ask yourself the most obvious question." "What do we like to eat?" "Vampire cereal?" "You need to see what I really look like." "This is why we don't show ourselves in the sunlight." "people would know we're different." "You're shining." "No, that's just my bling." "You don't get it." "I am a killer!" "(EX CLAIMS )" "(SCREAMING)" "Are you texting?" "Yeah, Jennifer." "(SCREAMING)" "I am the world's most dangerous predator." "(CHIRRUPING)" "I want to eat you!" "My family, we're not Iike other vampires." "We can control our thirst to only hunt animals and the real Housewives of atlanta." "But I don't know if I can control myself around you." "Look, Ed." "I don't like to play games, so" "I'm just gonna lay my cards on the table." "I really like you." "I dig the Eurotrash heroin-chic look." "You're totally happening, and I wanna be with you." "I can read everybody's minds but yours." "You have to tell me exactly what you're thinking." "You're pretty, so you don't have to be smart." "would you Iike to go to the prom with me?" "(CHUCKLES )" "Yes." "That's awesome." "(SNARLING)" "(SCREECHING)" "BECCA:" "There were three things I was absolutely positive about." "First, Edward was a vampire." "Second, American idol is gonna blow without Simon." "And third, the next time I saw Edward, I was gonna hump the shit out of him and..." "Boo." "(GASPS )" "Oh, gosh, you scared me." "There is something that I wanted to try." "Me, too." "I Iove roIe-pIaying." "(CLEARING THROAT) That's not what I meant." "(CHUCKLES )" "Don't move." "Kiss me already." "I know it'II be okay." "(SIGHING)" "That was amazing." "I've never gone to first base before." "Now let's go all the way." "(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)" "(GRUNTING)" "Purity ring." "Yeah." "Oh!" "I won't be able to resist my urges to kill you!" "I don't mind." "What?" "Oh, God!" "Becca, no!" "(SIGHS )" "Oh, yeah?" "I Iike it rough." "Stay away from me." "No, please, please, please, don't come any closer!" "This is for your own safety." "I'm trying to protect you." "Becca?" "Becca?" "(GRUNTING)" "If this is going to work, we're gonna have to take things slow." "I guess that's okay." "Even though my teen hormones are raging and I want to have sex with you," "I feel conflicted about losing my virginity." "I know you'II never have sex with me, because you're a vampire, so, really, it's the ultimate pubescent girl fantasy." "That was incredibly insightful." "(SIGHS )" "I read it on Stephenie Meyer's Twitter page." "Becca, I promise, as long as you're with me, you'II never get hurt." "(GRUNTING)" "(CLANGING)" "Starting now." "(SNIFFING)" "(ALL SNARL)" "Shit!" "well, I think we all know whatever killed Fisherman ScuIIey was no animal." "Look at those tracks." "It could only mean one thing." "Canadians." "Damn border-jumpers." "They come here and take all the shitty jobs us lazy Americans don't want, and now they're killing our fishermen, too." "Yeah, Frank, I think you're missing the big picture." "That is a big picture." "BECCA:" "It was my 18th birthday, and the Sullens were throwing me a party." "well, this is home." "Hey." "There is no reason to be nervous." "well, I'm different than you." "They might not accept me." "It's like the time when my ex-boyfriend, DeShawn, invited me to his grandmama's house to celebrate Kwanzaa." "(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)" "Dandelion, come where the sunshine shines" "When you clock that second And your heart starts ticking" "May it land on mine lf we make it to space I'll meet you" "Oh, my dandelion" "I want you to meet my family." "You must be Becca." "I'm Edward's mom, Eden." "We've heard so much about you." "Finger food?" "Finger food?" "That's alex and RosaIyn." "I just know we're going to be great, great friends." "And this is Iris." "I hope we will be." "No, she already knows it will happen." "Some of us have special powers." "Iris has visions of the future." "Oh!" "But I'm not on my period." "You will be." "It's coming early this month." "relax, Becca." "We're just like any other normal American family." "Except, of course, we have no souls, and we walk the earth trying to satisfy an unquenchable thirst for blood." "(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)" "(JEREMIAH SNIFFING)" "I'm Jeremiah." "He's new to the family." "He's still trying to control his hunger for humans." "Look, I don't want to cause any problems." "Maybe I should go." "But you have to open your presents." "Paper cut." "(JEREMIAH SNARLING)" "(YELLING)" "EDWARD:" "You're bleeding." "BECCA:" "really bad, actually." "I must have hit an artery." "(BOTH SNARLING)" "(BOTH GROWLING)" "(BOTH YELPING)" "Becca, your nose!" "I knew I shouldn't have partied last night with Lindsay Lohan." "(ALL SNARLING)" "Every time I bring a girl home, you guys try to eat her!" "It's not fair!" "Come on!" "(DOOR BELL RINGING)" "Someone here order Chinese food?" "(YELLING)" "Quick, they'II be hungry again in half an hour." "What happened back there can never happen again." "I now know, as long as I'm around you you'II never be safe." "That's why I want you to bite me, and turn me into a vampire." "No." "I keep aging and you stay the same." "I'm 18 now." "I'm practically a cougar." "I just..." "I couldn't live with myself if I turned you into a vampire." "You're always sexy and healthy, and super good-Iooking, with tons of free time and money to travel the world." "It's a Iot like being George clooney." "strangely, the only thing that does keep aging is your ass." "(CLEARING THROAT)" "It gets pretty wrinkIy over time." "You'II never see me again." "Just promise me that you won't do anything reckless." "Okay." "I promise I won't date Chris Brown." "farewell." "Edward?" "Edward!" "Edward!" "Edward!" "You're just gonna leave me here alone in woods in an area filled with vampires who want to eat me?" "(WAILING)" "(SCREAMING)" "Looks like Edward left us a treat." "Great." "This is exactly what I was talking about." "Take that!" "(SCREAMING)" "I came here to help you, bitch!" "Sorry." "There's nowhere else to run." "Your beloved Edward isn't here to save you." "(SCREAMING)" "(SNARLS )" "Hmm?" "Come on, Jack." "Where's the bro code, huh?" "You know you don't try to eat someone's girlfriend right after they break up with them." "(EX CLAIMING)" "(TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING)" "Kardashians." "Jack, no!" "(BOTH SNARLING)" "(SNARLING)" "Let's go!" "(CHOKING)" "Becca." "I'm going to have to suck the venom out of you." "This is going to be tough for me because the taste of your blood could send me into a frenzy." "But on the other hand..." "(IN DEMONIC VOICE) Just do it already!" "(IN NORMAL VOICE) Okay, Edward, I think you got all the venom out." "You can stop now." "(SLURPING)" "(GASPING)" "BECCA:" "And just like that, Edward was gone." "I just couldn't get over him." "Why did he have to leave me?" "(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)" "And the rain is pouring down" "And the tears are falling But they never make..." "BECCA:" "Time passed, but my yearning for Edward never subsided." "Everyone reminded me of him." "I couldn't get Edward out of my mind." "No matter where l looked." "No matter what I saw." "Without Edward, my life was over." "I felt like dying." "And every night, I had nightmares that would make me scream really, really loud." "(BECCA SCREAMING)" "Becca." "Becca." "Becca." "Becca !" "Becca !" "Becca!" "You're so upset." "Let me check your levels." "(DEVICE BEEPING)" "Oh." "That's not good." "You've got more angst than The Secret Life of the American Teenager." "You know, honey, I'm not real good at the whole parenting thing." "But I do know that breakups are hard." "especially when you're dumped by someone as handsome and hunky as Edward." "That boy can really fill out a pair of pants." "I'm like, "Mmm !" "Look at that!" "Look at that!"" "Yeah." "And let's face it, honey." "You're no looker." "And you twitch a Iot." "It's kind of irritating." "That's for sure the best piece of ass you'II ever get." "That's my girl." "Oh!" "Your friend Jennifer keeps calling." "You should hang out with her." "probably cheer you up." "I want you to say good night to your new mommy." "(IN FEMININE VOICE) Good night, Becca." "I Iove you." "I Iove you." "She really does." "well, good night, sweetheart." "I don't get it." "Why would anyone want to date a vampire?" "Lame." "Yeah." "So lame." "That movie's totally going to flop." "I can't believe they get married and have a vampire baby." "(ALL GROANING)" "Thanks for the spoiler alert, dumbshit!" "(CLICKING TONGUE)" "It's too bad Edward dumped you and now you don't have a date for the prom." "'Cause that dress would have looked great on you:" "But you don't need a dress, because Edward left you behind in the woods like bear shit." "(GASPING) So I'm going to wear it instead!" "(LAUGHING)" "And check this out." "Everyone's going to be, Iike, super jealous." "CouIdn't you just die?" "No." "But you can." "(BOTH SCREAMING)" "well, this is me." "Where are you parked?" "Uh..." "Over there." "(GASPING) Ooh!" "Right next to those mean and scary biker dudes?" "See you at school tomorrow!" "(TIRES SCREECHING)" "Hey, baby!" "Come over here!" "You can sit on my bike." "(BIKERS HOOTING)" "Becca." "Those guys are dangerous." "walk away." "Edward?" "Ow!" "Shit." "Those guys are dangerous." "told you." "BECCA:" "Whether it really happened or I was just tripping out, I figured the more crazy shit I did, the better chance I'd have of seeing Edward again." "JACOB:" "This is your brake." "And this is your throttle." "Jacob, there's..." "There's something different about you." "I don't know what it is." "I've been meaning to tell you." "I'm a man now, Becca." "Are you telling me that..." "That's right." "I've had my bar mitzvah." "Mazel tov!" "So will you date me now?" "(ENGINE REVVING)" "Say again?" "I couldn't hear you." "(CHUCKLES ) Right." "will you go on a date with..." "No, no." "What?" "Maybe if you'd stop revving the bike whenever I'm about to ask you something really important, you'd hear me." "Right." "Sorry." "Thank you." "Becca, I wanted to ask if you would just..." "(TRUCK HORN BLARING)" "Oh, come on!" "(YELLING) Becca, will you go on a date with me?" "Sorry, but I don't like to be yelled at, Jacob." "I think I'II just take her for a spin." "Just one thing first." "Becca, you just cut the brake line!" "(ENGINE REVVING)" "Becca, stop." "You're going to hurt yourself." "(BECCA VOCALIZING)" "Hey, Eddy Well, I know it might seem petty" "But I can't stop obsessing over you" "Put down that guitar and stop singing like taylor Swift." "(BECCA GRUNTING)" "If this is what it takes to be with you, Edward, so be it." "Becca !" "Don't drink that milk." "You know you're lactose intolerant." "This is for you, Edward." "Oh, God." "(STOMACH RUMBLING)" "(TIRES SCREECHING)" "Sorry." "But I did try to warn you." "JACOB:" "Becca!" "Are you trying to get yourself killed?" "Uh-huh." "You're bleeding." "Here." "(GRUNTING)" "Your body is so furry." "Are those teats?" "Yeah, 10 of them, actually." "Oh!" "I'd better go get you some help." "That was fast." "You are so scrumptious." "No!" "Be happy it was me that found you and not rachel." "Why?" "What happened to rachel?" "She was recast." "(GASPS )" "Shh!" "She wants to torture you for what you did to Jack." "At least I will eat you fast." "(GROWLING)" "Becca!" "Jacob, run!" "That's it?" "A Chihuahua?" "Yeah, I guess so." "This whole transformation thing is new to me." "You can't stop me." "You're no werewolf." "That's why I always travel in a pack." "(SNARLING)" "(ALL SNARLING)" "(lT'S raining MEN PLAYING) lt's raining men" "Hallelujah lt's raining men" "Amen I'm gonna go out I'm gonna let myself get" "Absolutely soaking wet lt's raining men" "Hallelujah lt's raining men" "Amen lt's raining men, yeah" "please." "Get him, girls!" "(SQUEALING)" "(ALL EX CLAIMING)" "Sign this?" "Now, Iet's get you home." "You'll be all right now. I know it's worked!" "(SCREAMING)" "(SNIFFLING)" "Why can't they just be together?" "(SNORTING)" "There you are!" "I've been looking everywhere for you." "You look like shit." "What do you want?" "Look, we're all sorry we tried to drink Becca's blood, even Jeremiah." "But something terrible has happened to her." "(BURPING)" "Becca who?" "I am totally over her." "I've moved on." "I am done with normal chicks." "I've finally found someone as freaky as me." "(MYFlRST wish PLAYING)" "My first wish Turn the music up as loud as it gets" "My second wish Me and the girls are in the hottest outfits" "My third wish" "(SIGHING)" "Too freaky?" "Edward, I had a vision!" "Becca was riding a motorcycle." "She tried to kill herself." "I fear Becca may be dead." "No." "I've got to find out." "How do you feel?" "It's Edward, isn't it?" "Here." "Why did you just take off your shirt?" "My contract says I have to every 10 minutes of screen time." "Hmm." "Look, Edward left you." "But I would never do that." "I want to take it out of the friend zone." "I really like you, Becca." "I Iike you, too." "When I'm with you, I just feel so safe and secure." "Thanks." "As opposed to how I feel about Edward, which is all passion, lust, complete forbidden fruit stuff." "I mean, with him, it's all about my vagina." "Okay!" "(PHONE RINGING)" "Do you mind getting that?" "Sure." "hello." "EDWARD ON PHONE:" "Officer Crane?" "No, he's not here right now." "Where is he?" "It is very important that I speak with him." "(FRANK SPEAKING)" "He's at the funeral." "Oh, God, no." "Yeah." "And supposedly, the body was so mangled that the undertaker had to use Krazy glue to stick the head back on and put marbles where the eyes once were." "hello?" "hello?" "(SIGHS )" "It's true." "Becca's dead." "Edward, I'm so sorry." "I can't live without her." "(GASPING)" "Goodbye, Iris." "I'm going to kill myself." "(BREATHING HEAVILY)" "(GASPING)" "I just had another vision about Becca!" "(SIGHING) Becca's fine." "You don't have to kill yourself anymore." "Edward!" "Shit." "(RICK HOOTING)" "Prom rocks!" "(BOTH WHOOPING)" "I Iove drinking!" "Oh!" "What's the matter, Becca?" "still no date for the prom?" "Loser!" "Here, have a drink, bitch!" "RICK:" "She promised me sex tonight!" "High point of my Iife!" "Becca !" "Get in the car, now!" "(TIRES SCREECHING)" "What's wrong?" "Edward thinks you're dead." "Why would he think that?" "Um..." "Beats me." "He won't live without you and he wants to die." "He's such a romantic." "(GASPING)" "Becca!" "Jacob?" "Becca, don't go." "You belong with me." "Oh!" "I need to know, who's it going to be?" "Is it going to be me or him?" "Jacob, I..." "I'm not gonna take no for an answer." "I'm not going to let go until you tell me, once and for all." "AII right!" "Jacob, I'II tell you." "I choose..." "Cat!" "(GROWLING)" "Come back here, pussy!" "(CAT YOWLING)" "Edward is going to the ZoIturi to have them kill him." "I saw it." "I had a vision." "What are you talking about?" "Who are the ZoIturi?" "They are the evil bIoodsuckers who only care about themselves and their own narrow vision of the world." "They're kind of like Fox News." "Oh, my God." "Edward's going to expose himself in the sunlight, and the ZoIturi are going to kill him." "They can't allow humans to know vampires live among them." "It could destroy us." "Okay, where is this going to happen?" "At the prom." "The ZoIturi never miss a good St. SaIvatore Day festival." "They flew all the way in from italy." "Say what you want about them, but they do know how to party." "ALL:" "Suck!" "Suck!" "Suck!" "Suck!" "Suck!" "Suck!" "(ALL CHEERING)" "(SCREAMS )" "(DARO GRUNTING)" "(ALL CHEERING)" "Oh!" "I got skills, bitch." "Welcome, Sporks High students, to the 2010 prom." "(HONKING)" "And don't forget, the main event is coming up shortly." "The crowning of your prom king and queen." "And if you haven't had a chance to vote yet, don't worry, there's still time." "Just to be sure." "Becca, you're the only one that can stop Edward." "You have to show him you're still alive." "I'II do whatever it takes." "BECCA:" "So, what would you do to save someone you love?" "For Edward, I would stop at nothing." "Whoa." "You already saw this part, so let's get to what happens next." "No!" "Edward!" "(HISSING)" "(SNARLS )" "(SCREAMING)" "Shit!" "(EX CLAIMING)" "(GROANING)" "(BECCA SCREAMING)" "BOTH:" "Uh-oh." "Edward!" "Edward, it's not sunny anymore." "It's twilight." "Hey, new moon." "Ah!" "eclipse?" "Look at me, everyone!" "This is me in all my glory." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "Oh!" "Lucky penny." "(CROWD EX CLAIMING IN DISGUST)" "Oh!" "Huh?" "(ALL LAUGHING)" "Edward!" "Becca?" "You're alive?" "We have to go now." "Becca, I am so sorry." "I promise you that I will never leave you again." "The ZoIturi are standing right behind me, aren't they?" "Yep." "Don't worry, Becca." "(SNARLS )" "Not talking smack now, are we?" "Stop it!" ""Stop it!"" "You're killing him!" ""You're killing him !"" "And we haven't even had sex yet." ""And we haven't even had sex..."" "really?" "Oh!" "(DARO GRUNTING)" "(RAP SONG PLAYING)" "(THE HUSTLEPLAYING)" "(SINGING)" "(EX CLAIMING)" "Becca." "Becca." "Oh!" "Dad." "There you are." "I was worried about my little girl." "You know, there's still a killer on the loose." "But I can see you're dancing with your friends, so everything's all right." "Dad, no..." "No, Frank, wait." "You have to know the truth." "AII of the killing was done by vampires." "Edward's one, also." "(DARO GRUNTING)" "And Bobby White's a werewolf." "Oh, oh..." "Ow!" "BOBBY:" "Sorry." "I understand." "Thank God." "The theme of the prom !" "(LAUGHING)" "No, Dad." "Enjoy, okay?" "Becca, by the way, thanks for everything." "(BOTH GRUNTING)" "(ALL THRU THE NlTEPLAYING)" "All through the night" "Too close." "Separate, arms length apart." "Too close." "Separate, arms length apart." "(BOTH GRUNTING)" "Too close." "Separate!" "Arms length apart!" "Hmm." "(DARO HUMMING)" "(YELLING)" "Say cheese." "Say cheese." "(GASPING)" "Whoo!" "What the hell?" "(EDWARD READING)" "Oh!" "Where's Becca?" "(WHIMPERING)" "(GRUNTING)" "Surrender now, or SaIvatore will snap her neck like a slim Jim." "You must pay for exposing yourself." "tell you what I'm going to do, Ed-to-the-ward." "I won't kill you." "But Becca has to become a vampire." "cool?" "No, not cool." "No way!" "Never!" "AII right." "pull Edward's head off, then rip his body apart and set him on fire." "No, no, no." "I mean, yes!" "I meant yes!" "(CHUCKLING) Of course, she would love to become a vampire." "She practically brings it up all the time." "Right, hon?" "Uh, I guess so." "Then bite her now!" "Bite!" "(GNARLING)" "Listen up, people!" "May I have your attention?" "And now the moment you've all been waiting for." "And this year's Sporks High prom king and prom queen is Jennifer and Rick!" "(BOTH SCREAMING)" "(ALL CHEERING)" "RICK:" "Triumph for the Rick!" "Congratulations." "Mmm?" "Thank you!" "Yeah!" "Oh!" "Hold on!" "It seems you two received over 69,000 votes in a class of only 300." "(ALL BOOING)" "I'm afraid you're disqualified." "What?" "Oh!" "God!" "You asswipe!" "(RICK GROANS )" "My life is over!" "As your principal, I will nominate a new prom king and queen." "(ALL CHATTERING)" "And I will pick..." "I will..." "Let me see." "I will choose... I pick you two!" "Us?" "Yes!" "Because you two exemplify what's best about this whole prom." "I mean, you really look like a couple of mean," "evil bloodsucking vampires." "(GROWLING)" "Oh, my God!" "We won!" "We won!" "(ALL CHEERING)" "Yes, yes, yes!" "Move." "Out of the way." "(HOOTING)" "Oh!" "(DARO CLEARING THROAT)" "Edward!" "Bite." "Bite." "Do it." "Bite me now." "I don't want to wait a second longer." "I will only turn you into a vampire on one condition." "Marry me." "Yes." "Are you ready?" "(LAUGHING)" "(MOANING)" "How do you feel?" "Perfect." "It's how I always imagined." "I Iove you, Becca... (YELPS )" "Team Jacob, bitch!" "(GROANING)" "Fuck me." "(SCREAMING)" "(lF I WAS YOUR VAMPlREPLAYING) lf l was your vampire" "Slim as the moon instead of killing time" "We'll have each other till the sun lf l was your vampire" "Death waits for no one" "Put my hands across your face" "Because I think our time has come" "Digging your smile apart with my spade tongue" "And the hole is where the heart is" "We built this tomb together I will fill it alone" "Beyond the pale" "Everything's black No turning back lf l was your vampire" "Slim as the moon instead of killing time" "We'll have each other till the sun lf l was your vampire" "Death waits for no one" "Put my hands across your face" "Because I think our time has come" "Beyond the pale" "Everything's black No turning back, no" "Beyond the pale" "Everything's black No turning back, no" "(MYPANTlES PLAYING)" "I feel so lonely" "Nobody gets me I am so unhappy" "Why can't I find a cool alternative boyfriend" "Who understands me?" "We can watch the classics" "Shop at Hot Topic" "We're sexting dirty pics of me in my panties" "We can watch the classics" "Shop at Hot Topic" "Sexting dirty pics of me in my panties" "My panties, my panties" "Sexting dirty pics of me in my panties" "My panties, my panties" "We can watch the classics" "Shop at Hot Topic" "We're sexting dirty pics of me in my panties" "We can watch the classics Shop at Hot Topic" "Sexting dirty pics of me in my panties" "My panties, my panties" "(POP MUSIC PLAYING) I'm the one who's always thinking about" "All the ways to get to the end of it" "You came around And I think that I found" "A good reason to try and stick with it" "You're taking me down But I like the sound" "And I want to get with you anyway ls this solid ground Or am I getting drowned?" "I'm just as happy taking it day by day" "And in the end We all end up the same" "Love and desire Will be you once again" "Life, listen and sing We all end up the same" "And in the end lt all goes up in flames" "Scars on the skin You're bringing me in" "And I'm closer, closer Every minute" "We'll start to spin And I'm in it to win" "And I'm taking every last bit of it" "Looking at your face Making my heart race" "And I can't seem Can't seem to make it stop" "Sitting by your side Want to go for a ride" "And I'm waiting Waiting for you to drive" "And in the end We all end up the same" "Love and desire Will be almost plain" "Life, listen and sing We all end up the same" "And in the end lt all goes up in flames"