"You are out Rodger!" "You're no good and you're gone." "I've waited long enough for you to shape up and now you're out for good." "Aw!" "Come on Cindy." "Don't be like that." "By now Mister Rodger Dodger, you should have given up that crummy job at the glue factory and gotten something that pays a whole lot better." "I deserve more than a title pawned car." "No!" "I'm tired of staying in this week-to-week Motor Court." "You need to get more money or you're out." "May I help you?" "Our Space Buggy is about to crash." "This is a really cool scene." "Space Buggy?" "What Space Buggy?" "That is our Space Buggy." "It looks like your Space Buggy just pancaked Cindy's Super Bee." "Yeah." "Gnarly splashdown." "Who was driving that thing?" "Oh!" "I was." "Our Space buggy is equipped with a Time Advance Ejection System." "In the event of imminent crash it transports passengers to an earlier time frame away from danger." "I could have used something like that a few times myself." "You totally wiped out my car." "I hope you guys got some good insurance." "We do not have insurance in space." "You're not in space anymore." "Here on Earth you've got to have insurance." "You girls had better wait in my room while I call Al Sharko." "Let me find that title pawn to my car." "I know it's here somewhere." "What is your name you dreamy hunk?" "I'm Rodger!" "Rodger Dodger." "What a sexy name." "My name is Aeliana." "My friend's name is Minoria." "Some kind of groovy!" "Rodger Dodger baby." "Well!" "It's certainly a pleasure." "Smooth vibes Daddy-O." "So!" "What are you girls doing crash landing your Space Buggy in this parking lot?" "How come you didn't land that thing over at the airport?" "Moisture condensation caused our rear stabilizer to freeze as we entered your stratosphere." "I totally lost control for a while." "After the servos thawed from atmospheric heat" "I was able to get enough control to set it down on open pavement." "Obviously not enough control to avoid wasting my car." "That Super Bee was title pawned with Al Sharko." "Take it easy Cindy." "These nice ladies just escaped a fiery death." "Way Cool beat!" "Roger Dodger." "Turn on!" "Rodger Dodger!" "What a gas!" "I think I love you." "Hmmm!" "Dig the wig." "Yummy!" "Look!" "I don't know what planet you girls are from but around here, girls leave other girls boyfriends alone." "Oh I'm not really her boyfriend anymore." "Cindy just threw me out." "Oh!" "No!" "He's not exactly a permanent throw out." "I was just trying to motivate him." "We have been cruising the galaxy looking for boyfriends." "All the boys on our home planet were wiped out by testosterone fever." "Yeah!" "Our cool dudes be way gone." "Rodger Dodger might help us out." "Oh I'd like to help you out." "How's the employment situation up there?" "Well Rodger Dodger." "Boys just need to stay busy being nice." "Girls do all the hard work." "Yeah!" "Just shoot the tube." "Don't you get any ideas about going anywhere with my boyfriend." "And you sure aren't getting out of here until you clear up the mess you made of my car." "I'm calling..." "Where's the phone?" "I'm calling Al Sharko." "Right now!" "He's got the title of the car you just wrecked." "[phone rings]" "Yeah!" "Hello Mister Sharko." "It's Cindy Wood." "Cindy Wood..." "Cindy Wood!" "Yeah yeah yeah." "The Super Bee." "How's it hanging Cindy?" "Not good." "There's some flakey chicks over here who just crashed into my car and totally wasted it with their spaceship." "Some Flakey chicks wasted your car with a spaceship?" "Sure did!" "They say they don't have any insurance." "You'd better come over and talk to them about it." "I'll be right there." "How would you girls like a Sonic Screwdriver?" "It's an Earth drink that everyone here loves." "I just happen to have some Who Juice and plenty of Vodka." "Yeah!" "Lay it on me momma." "You will just love our home planet, Moe." "You can have your very own Castaway Island where we can live happily ever after." "Purr my fur!" "Oh Baby!" "[AM radio tunes up]" "[Surfer Band, Mystery Men pick out 'Order of the Black Sun']" "So you learned all about Earth from television broadcasts from the sixties?" "That was like, fifty years ago." "Man!" "Our home planet, Moe, is fifty light years from here." "Television transmission signals travel slowly at the speed of light." "We were only able to see a few of your broadcasts, like Dance Train and Castaway Island due to the solar skip." "So!" "How'd you get here so fast?" "We equipped our space buggy with Faster Than Light Drives that simply folds space so we don't have to travel those huge distances." "Those dresses are way too short." "Do you like them?" "We were watching American Dance Train." "We wanted to dress like Earth girls so boys here would like us." "Yo!" "Me like!" "You would!" "Those girls aren't wearing any underwear." "We were supposed to wear underwear?" "Totally groovy!" "Sonic Screwdriver!" "Oh my!" "[knock]" "[sinister organ]" "Looked over the damage to the Super Bee out there." "It's a total loss." "Ladies!" "That's no airplane out there." "It is our Space Buggy." "Yeah well, your spaceship out there is a total loss also." "Cindy says you girls don't have insurance for that thing?" "Oh dear!" "Are you going to arrest us now?" "Naw." "Do you have any cash?" "Anything of value at all?" "An Interstellar Navigation System." "There's no market for any of your advanced technology junk." "I'm just going to scrap it." "What's it made of?" "It is made of cheap platinum." "Platinum!" "All of it?" "Yes." "I think we might be able to work something out." "Of course you'll have to sign it over to me." "Sign right there." "It is a real pleasure doing business with you." "Looks like we won't be going home for a while." "Oh bad!" "So bad!" "[Minoria moans in mortal pain]" "Looks like you can't hold your liquor, girly girl." "That's what you get for trying to steal my boyfriend." "Oh dying!" "So sad!" "Oh baby!" "Minoria is very ill." "Can we do anything?" "She needs medical help." "Y-yeah!" "We need to call the hospital." "You can't call the hospital." "These girls are Illegal Aliens." "If you call the hospital they'll be arrested by the authorities." "Rodger!" "Can I speak with you in my office right now." "We can't call the hospital because I think I overdosed her." "You think you overdosed Minoria?" "What?" "How?" "I put some birth control pills in the Sonic Screwdriver." "It was only supposed to make them a little sick." "That girl in there is very sick." "How many pills did you give them?" "I only put my monthly pills in the blender." "They're just birth control pills for crying out loud." "What if I would've tried to drink it?" "Of course I wouldn't have let you drink it silly." "They're just birth control pills." "They're not poisonous!" "Some!" ".." "Sometimes just one little pill can make you dead dog sick." "A whole month's supply!" "Who knows what it might do to an alien." "Don't be such a horn dog Rodger." "They're the enemy!" "They were going to abduct you!" "Take you away." "Use you for their own selfish pleasures." "You didn't want me anymore." "What we need is that gun from your truck." "That one Alien, Aeliana," "She didn't drink her Sonic Screwdriver." "We need to do something about her before she radios the mother ship and gets reinforcements from outer space." "Ok Cindy." "I'll get the gun." "She is dead!" "My poor friend Minoria is dead!" "You'd better watch your step Little Miss Space Girl or you'll wind up dead too." "Roger's got a gun." "It was that drink!" "You poisoned the Sonic Screwdriver." "It wasn't really poison." "It was just some birth control pills." "They were supposed to make you a little sick." "So that you'd leave my boyfriend alone." "I'm not really your boyfriend anymore." "You threw me out." "Remember!" "Well!" "Now I'm taking you back." "No!" "You're not!" "You just murdered this little space chick." "It's not murder." "She's not human so it's not murder." "It is murder." "Looks like she was way more human than you." "I'm going to call the authorities." "Rodger!" "It's not poison in the Sonic Screwdriver." "It's just some birth control pills." "I'll prove it." "Stop!" "That could kill you." "[Cindy gasps in mortal agony]" "I'm calling the hospital." "Agh!" "Do you really have to call the authorities Rodger?" "I really am an Illegal Alien." "I am afraid the authorities will arrest me." "You won't have to be here when the ambulance shows up." "Where will I go?" "What will I do?" "I do not know anyone here but you." "Right now you can just hide in my truck until the paramedics split." "No-one will see you there." "Oh Rodger!" "You can be my steady boyfriend." "You're out Rodger!" "Aw!" "Come on Aeliana!" "Don't be like that." "You had your chance Rodger." "Now I'm going to get mine." "Please!" "I can get better." "You're not getting any better." "You didn't get a better paying job." "You never have enough money." "Money isn't everything." "Oh yes it is." "I'm tired of living in this sleazy Motor Court." "I want my own paid for car with a clean title." "Bob" "Bob" "Hey Bob!" "What's happening?" "Bob." "Wake up." "You OK?" "More?" "That's a fifty dollar bill." "I know." "Today it's a hundred." "A hundred?" "Today is a hundred?" "Take it or leave it." "Marvin." "All those are twenties." "You owe me ten." "I own you nothing." "You're getting what you want." "For cheap." "Next time it'll be two hundred." "Two hundred!" "What gives?" "Take it or leave it." "What's the big idea putting Connie under all *this trash?" "You think she's just some garbage?" "Security's tight around here!" "So what!" "She lives here." "Next time, don't be putting all this trash on Connie." "She can wait out in the open like everybody else." "Don't worry Connie." "Money's really no problem." "I can come up with four hundred next time." "The important part is we're together now." "You and me." "You know what day this is?" "It's our anniversary baby." "I'll be right back." "I've just got to get our party stuff out of the truck." "Brought you some flowers." "Our favorite wine too." "Yep!" "We were married seven years ago today." "I'll bet you even remember that funny little preacher that married us." "He showed up with a shiny black eye." "Said his mother hit him with a skillet." "Your father did not want us getting married." "You know later he told me that your brother wanted to show up with a shotgun and stop the whole thing." "I think it's because your family knows you're smarter than me." "But heck, aren't most wives smarter than their husbands." "They all thought I wasn't good enough for you." "We showed them." "After seven years, we're still together." "We'll get you all fixed up in your favorite nighty." "You look stunning!" "You know I had to stop by the store and get some ice." "The ice machine in this motel never works." "What do you think Connie?" "These roses aren't nearly as pretty as your wedding bouquet." "Hmm!" "That's some good stuff!" "That's a really good vino!" "[knock]" "What?" "[knock]" "Excuse me!" "This is some kind of mistake." "Wrong room!" "[knock]" "Bob?" "Yep." "It's me." "Let me in!" "This is not a good time Bob." "You need to go away." "Ugh!" "Are you here for more money?" "No!" "I'm not here for more money." "That's it!" "You're leaving right now." "You got that right." "I am leaving right now and I'm taking Connie with me." "Huh?" "Connie and I are in love." "We're in love and we're getting married." "Connie is not in love with you." "Where'd you get an idea like that?" "You know, working nights there's no one at that nursing home except" "Connie and me." "Her and me got to know each other real good." "Connie is in a coma." "How was she supposed to be having these conversations with you?" "Well!" "We just did." "I know what she's thinking because," "I'm like, thinking the same thing." "She speaks to my mind, man." "You've been working midnights way too long Bob." "It's done stuff to your mind." "You need to take your little flowers and go back to the Convalescent Center." "We have to get married." "It's only right." "How's that?" "Connie's having my baby!" "Your baby!" "How'd that happen?" "The usual way." "We got to be good friends at first and then one thing led to another." "Connie can't be having your baby for crying out loud!" "She's in a coma!" "She may be in a coma but she can still reproduce." "Ugh!" "Come on Connie, it's time to go." "Awk!" "Yum!" "..." "Awk!" "Awk!" "You should have let her go easy Marvin." "Why does everybody have to make everything so hard?" "When a mans in love, he's got to do what he's got to do." "Awk!" "(boink!" ")" "Connie!" "You're awake!" "That's right baby!" "I'm awake!" "You're not in a coma anymore!" "I could hear you talking to me the whole time." "I knew what was happening but couldn't do anything about it." "Do you know what day this is?" "It's our anniversary." "Sometimes a comatose patient will regain consciousness for a short while only to relapse into a vegetative condition once again." "However, this patient will never regain consciousness." "You're not a cop!" "You're nothing but a two bit bounty hunter." "Buzz off bucko!" "Not a bounty hunter," "I'm a skip tracer." "Don't guess I need to offer you a light." "Not for this piece of junk." "You got any real cigarettes?" "Na!" "I decided I'd better give them up for good when they made possession a class D felony." "Those dirty rotten politicians!" "I bet those slime-balls get the real cigarettes straight from China anytime they want them." "Just trying to protect people from themselves." "Listen Georgia," "I've got to get you downtown before the judge closes his docket today." "He issued a bench warrant when you didn't show up for court this morning." "I'm not Georgia." "I'm her sister, Paris." "Come-on Georgia." "Don't mess around." "The judge is already unhappy with you." "Really." "We're sisters." "We're like, identical." "You're twins?" "Well, quintuplets really." "There are five of us." "All identical." "Quintuplets!" "Yeah!" "We're some sort of government experiment to make human clones." "The project became totally unpopular so we got dumped out here." "Identical clones?" "All cloned from our mother." "And the mighty USA is our daddy." "Wait!" "The office manager is your mother." "Yep!" "Our mother is our sister too, in a way." "A creepy sort-of way" "Really Paris, I've got to find your sister right away." "If the cops pick her up she'll forfeit her bond." "Did you check her room?" "Which one's her room?" "She shares a room with Caroline." "Room 119." "Rooof!" "You all look alike?" "So how can I tell who's who?" "Well, we can always tell." "Even identical twins aren't entirely identical." "Georgia has three freckles by her left eye." "And I have this nice mole right here." "And an even nicer one right here." "Room 119." "Right?" "Yeah!" "Caroline wears glasses." "We all need them but she actually wears them." "Do you want to see my glasses?" "Maybe some other time." "I need to speak with Georgia Almond," "She's not in here right now." "I've got to find Georgia before the judge gets really upset and revokes her bail." "Georgia didn't do it." "Georgia was in here with me all night when Dakota died." "We didn't find out about Dakota getting hit by that trash truck until the next morning." "The police think Dakota was also shot in the head." "That's why they think it was a murder." "Yeah!" "They say they found Georgia's little gun under the corner of the dumpster." "Like somebody wanted it to get found." "Like why wouldn't the killer just toss it in the dumpster with the garbage." "You know Dakota was killed because she wasn't going to share the jackpot." "The lotto jackpot?" "Dakota won the big one?" "Yeah!" "The whole family plays that silly game, except for me." "If somebody wins a little something they split it up." "The winner gets more of course." "I'll bet you were a little chafed about not getting your cut of the jackpot." "I don't get a cut." "I don't play that stupid game." "Sure!" "Dakota wins the big one and decides not to divide it up." "Dakota and Georgia wanted to move to Oregon and buy a dairy farm." "They said we could all move out there too and help with the cows." "Dakota likes cows?" "She likes the idea of cows" "Dairy cows" "She likes the idea of cows eating grass on sunny hills and making milk from it." "I don't think she's ever milked a cow before." "Georgia likes the idea of cows too?" "Yeah!" "But it was going to take everything, like the whole jackpot to buy the farm." "So Dakota and Georgia decide to keep the whole jackpot?" "Dairy farms in Oregon aren't cheap." "Mother says we're staying right here." "Mother wants to use the winnings to buy this Motor Court." "I don't ever play the lottery so I guess I'd have to be a guest and pay rent." "Were you going out to Oregon too?" "Yeah!" "I guess so." "Dakota was my best friend, and I really love Georgia too." "I figure they have books in Oregon but I sure don't dream about messing around with cows." "You know where Georgia is now?" "Georgia said her stomach was upset." "She wanted some ginger root tea." "I figure she went over to Elizabeth's room." "What number is that?" "It's room 333." "But you'll have to hold your nose." "It's my boyfriend, Cain." "He's not feeling too good." "Tongue piercing went bad." "He doesn't look too sporty." "His disability check comes in today." "But after that, he's out of here." "OK!" "Hey!" "I'm just a skip tracer lady." "I'm only looking for Georgia." "She's here man." "She's really here." "We're all here." "This is it man." "This is it?" "The center of the universe." "We're all here!" "Right now, man." "Oh gee!" "I've got to find your sister so I can help her." "A question." "A cosmic inquiry." "My sister!" "My friend!" "Bonds we keep!" "chances we take." "Stars and celestial objects in the voids of the infinity." "It's a hairball!" "Not just any hairball." "It's Peter's hair ball." "Peter?" "Peter the cat died puking up this hairball." "Peter can answer your questions." "Yeah!" "Where is Georgia right now?" "Cat howling." "Cat hiss!" "Cat howling" "Cat spits" "Georgia is with mother." "She's in there man!" "She's been there all along." "Georgia sits in the bathroom." "Georgia sits in the bathroom?" "She sits in there man." "She reads in there." "Mother says she sits in there all night and sleeps in there." "Georgia sleeps in the bathroom?" "She's been there all along." "Jeepers creepers!" "I should've guessed!" "Jumpers always run back to Momma." "Mother's got a gun!" "You're not going anywhere with that man." "Georgia?" "Mother!" "What are you doing with that gun?" "You're not taking her anywhere Mister bounty hunter." "Not a bounty hunter." "I'm a skip tracer." "I have tried to raise these girls right." "Like a rat eating an onion I've tried." "Momma!" "You did the best you could." "They didn't have a daddy." "I had to be their momma and their daddy." "And teach them to share and share alike." "This skip hunter isn't taking my little girl down for something she didn't do." "I did it!" "I shot Dakota that night out by the dumpster." "Momma!" "You shot Dakota." "Why?" "She wasn't going to share." "I had to teach you girls, you all need to learn to share." "There's nothing to share." "This ticket's no good." "What?" "Dakota didn't read the numbers right." "She confused a five with an eight." "Needs glasses!" "We all do." "It doesn't matter to me who shot Dakota." "I just need to get Georgia in front of the judge today." "I guess I should ride along and talk to that judge myself." "You can if you like." "He'll make you get a lawyer." "You must strap the patients down to keep them from hurting themselves." "Exchanging brains can be somewhat violent." "I never get violent." "I can always control myself." "I would be delighted to personally wire you up and strap you down." "I'm certain my personal assistant," "Mr. Homm, can manage it." "I can manage it." "Ms. Bird this very instrument" "is the prototype for the next wave of identity theft." "The British Navy's Q Branch considers this Brain Interface Machine to be one of the most dangerous weapons it's ever tested." "They consider it to be the ultimate tool for identity theft." "Are you planning to steal someone's identity?" "My company, Ostrich Publishing is very big." "But it's only the second biggest." "Big Dipper Publishing is the biggest." "I need to know about their next best seller before it hits the shelves." "A young editor over at Big Dipper has agreed to work with us." "So!" "You're going to implant your brain into a young woman's body!" "A double agent you can trust completely." "I never trust anyone." "That is why I am more successful than everyone." "Oh!" "By the way" "Doctor Skipfly" "Mr. Homm did ask about your special spray?" "I do market this spray I formulated myself." "It's instantaneous and untraceable." "It can kill a raging bear dead in its tracks." "I can let you have this one because you're already purchasing the Brain Machine." "Mr. Homm." "Test the sprayer on the Doctor." "What?" "[TV screams]" "Thank you for meeting us in this place" "Miss Sylvia Bunch." "Please call me Sylvia." "Everyone always calls me Ms. Bird." "You've met Mr. Homm before." "Only on the phone." "Mr. Homm said that you want to borrow my identity so you can see some of Big Dipper's current projects for yourself." "When you spoke to Mr. Homm." "You said something about your Mother being ill." "That's why you need the money." "Yes, my Mother has cancer with just a few short weeks to live." "Her only hope is a very expensive experimental treatment." "You have to understand" "I really am desperate for the money or I would never do this awful thing to Big Dipper." "I also have a mother." "That is why I'm so understanding." "Did Mr. Homm tell you how I plan to use your identity to gain access to Big Dipper's Boardroom?" "No." "He just said you have the latest technology for using my identity." "Homm!" "Show her the Brain Machine." "Oh Wow!" "Mr. Homm will connect us up to this little piece of technology and it will simply swap our brains." "You will become me and" "I will become you." "Do I need to sign some kind of contract or something?" "On my!" "No!" "What we are doing here is entirely beyond the law." "My cash is my contract." "I'm ready to get started" "Now!" "Miss Bunch." "I'm fine." "Just a little nervous I guess." "I never get nervous." "If I do, I immediately remember that I am much too important to get nervous." "Homm!" "Hook us up now." "Homm!" "Her hair is going to interfere with the wires." "You need to shave her." "No!" "Wait!" "That is going to be my hair." "The hair is fine Homm." "Leave it alone." "I wonder what kind of nasty little people have sat in this old thing?" "Ok!" "I'm comfortable now." "No!" "Wait!" "Let me just sit up a little bit more." "Homm!" "Can't you loop these wires off my face." "I can control myself without those." "I am not at all nervous about this." "I'm much too important to get nervous." "Screams [electrical volts raging]" "[ding]" "[bass drop]" "Saa-a-ay?" "Homm!" "Get me off this floor." "These clothes are horrid!" "Straight off the department store rack." "I should've made that girl change into something more suitable for me." "Ugh!" "My teeth need to be whitened." "I'm going to have to get them done right away." "I just can't be seen with these yellow teeth." "Well Homm!" "What do you think?" "About what?" "About me!" "What do you think about the new me?" "Depends on who you are." "I'm Phoebe!" "Phoebe Bird!" "Of course" "I'm the new Phoebe Bird in a younger body." "A body that's more my age." "Well?" "You do look younger." "Younger and more attractive don't you think?" "You look younger." "Now!" "You can tell me you love me." "I know you've always loved me." "I have always liked you Ms. Bird." "You love me Homm." "Just say it!" "I love you Ms. Bird." "I could be in love with you too." "You know," "I've always admired your young, strong body!" "You know," "I only surround myself with the best." "Thank you Ms. Bird." "Whoah!" "Did it work?" "It worked!" "It worked perfectly." "I see you made it." "I made it great." "I knew I would." "I always come through everything great." "It's like I'm talking to myself in some weird mirror." "It looks like I've gained a few years." "It's no problem." "I'll get used to it." "You won't have to get used to it." "We might as well move on to the next phase of our plan." "Mr. Homm!" "Huh?" "Homm!" "What's your problem now?" "I don't know." "I think you need to turn that little green valve on the tip." "I knew that!" "These things aren't rocket science." "[spray]" "Ugh!" "Well!" "He shouldn't have got his face in the spray." "This was meant for me." "Now that you've stolen a younger body." "My body!" "You were just going to discard me." "Weren't you?" "I'm much too important to get old." "Ms. Bird." "You have indeed stolen my body." "Unfortunately for you it isn't the lease on life you were expecting." "Everyone needs me." "I can't get old." "My mother wasn't dying of cancer." "I was." "It's in that body you've stolen from me." "You have cancer." "Cancer?" "What cancer?" "The doctors only gave me few weeks to live." "You are going to need these." "Probably all of them and more before the end." "I can't die." "Not me!" "I really was desperate for that money." "My last ditch hope was that experimental treatment." "But I really didn't think it was going to work." "I was going die of the cancer in a few weeks just like the doctors said." "That machine!" "I have to switch back." "I must have my body back this instant." "You can't just let me die from your cancer." "Oh!" "I can." "So, Sid." "Why'd you want Bettylou killed?" "Child support, custody, alimony?" "None of those." "It's the dog." "She got the dog." "I really loved the dog." "The dog would do it." "You're going to kill her tonight?" "Right?" "How're you going do it?" "Don't worry about it." "Your Ex is supposed to pick me up in a couple hours to take me for my physical therapy." "I heard you've done this sort of thing before." "You're a pro." "Right?" "There won't be any problem?" "Listen Sid!" "I've got the best training available." "I'm very experienced." "I used to work for the US army in Iraq." "That's where I got hurt." "You got shot in Iraq?" "Naw." "Didn't get shot." "My buddy and I got drunk and were riding around in a truck looking for somebody to kill." "He drove the truck into a big rock." "But you been killing people since Iraq?" "Not really." "Mostly give guitar lessons and sell stuff I find." "Oh!" "..." "Hmm?" "Have you killed anybody since Iraq?" "I been trying to work my way back into it." "I don't know Four-Eyes." "If you haven't killed anybody in that long you might've lost your touch." "Hey!" "I still got the touch." "OK!" "Just last month I killed that old bag outside the title pawn shop." "I heard about that." "I heard it was an accident." "It wasn't an accident." "I did it." "I hated that mean old chicken headed lady." "She'd repo your car if you were two minutes late on your payment." "Was she going to take yours?" "No." "My wheelchair." "She had the title and I couldn't make the payment." "Like what was I supposed to do?" "I'm like, going through a dry spell in the music business." "Kids just don't want to play guitar anymore." "How'd you kill her?" "I backed her into one of those big dryers in that laundry-mat she runs." "Locked her in." "Put in some dimes." "Sizzzzzzz" "Hee hee!" "How many dimes?" "Oh... four or five I guess." "Like I said, guitar lessons are running a little thin these days." "Four or five dimes would do it." "So!" "You bring your gun today?" "Had to hock my gun." "But don't worry!" "I'll think of something." "Maybe..." "Maybe, maybe I could choke the victim." "You know!" "Really!" "Crush her windpipe if I can get her down on the floor." "Argh!" "That sounds like it might work." "One thing..." "You could suggest she tie you up." "Bettylou loves to tie and be tied." "I don't know." "How am I supposed to choke her if I'm all tied up?" "You're not the one getting tied up." "That's just what you say." "Bettylou will insist on being tied up first." "Trust me, I've been there." "She'll want to go first." "I don't know." "I don't have any ropes or that sort of thing." "You don't need rope." "Use the pillow cases." "You get burns from rope anyway." "So, so let me get this straight." "I need to tie her up with the pillow cases?" "Like, while she's on the bed?" "No big deal." "We'll do a dry run and I'll show you." "Just twist it up a little." "Like this" "No you're twisting it up too much." "You don't want it so tight." "If it's too tight you can't make any good knots." "That's it." "Now put a wrap around my wrist." "Tie me to the bedpost." "This beds awful shaky." "It's not gonna hold anybody." "It only has to hold her long enough to choke her." "Ok." "Now do my other wrist the same way." "I don't know man." "I'm not feeling this." "It's going to work." "Trust me." "This old bed's not designed for this." "It's made out of steel tubing." "It'll hold up fine." "I need to take off your boots to tie your legs down." "Not for this job you don't." "When her hands are tied like this, you got enough advantage to jump up on her and choke her." "I don't know." "Now that I think about it," "I don't think I've ever choked anyone before." "You'll be fine." "You've got strong hands from maneuvering that chair around." "Just crush her windpipe like you said." "How come you don't just do this thing yourself." "Like, you could save yourself a thousand bucks." "And you'd be the only one who knew about it." "There's always more problems when more people are involved in a crime." "Like I said, I've been there." "Once I tie her up, I'm in her power." "Then I'd let her tie me up." "Then I'm right back to giving her the dog." "I'd be better off smothering her." "Like with the pillow." "That way I wouldn't have to see her face or anything." "It's not the same thing as shooting somebody." "Man, you've got to untie me." "I've got to split." "Yep!" "Argh!" "I need to smother the victim" "With the pillow." "Whatever!" "Untie me so I can pay you and be gone before Bettylou gets here." "Oh, we've got plenty of time." "She couldn't be on time to her own funeral." "Let me go!" "Argh!" "Whuff!" "You brought all the money with you?" "You think I'm an idiot." "Don't worry about paying me." "I'll grab the cash on my way out." "Whuff!" "I'm limiting exposure to witnesses." "Whiff!" "Argh!" "The hit man's not like the yard man." "He doesn't just go away after the grass is mowed." "Argh!" "Argh!" "I'm ready to be tied up Bettylou." "Oooo!" "Ahh!" "Four Eyes." "You know you're supposed to tie me up first." "Eighteen a night." "Extra towels are extra." "Phone's not working." "Maybe the lightning zapped em." "Happens all the time." "Cell-phones around here quit when it's raining." "Say!" "You young ladies look like you could do with a little something to take the edge off the storm." "Moonshine!" "Cool." "Two dollars." "Solid coin." "Zoe?" "Plus eighteen for the room." "Solid coin." "No Giga-Coin." "Can't register ya'all till tomorrow." "If I can remember." "Don't worry about it." "Bad memory's part of my charm." "I love this little place." "It's like going back in time." "Pre-Liberation at least." "Like, in the old days when people brought their men in here." "More of your deviant fantasies." "So!" "I'm deviant!" "You know, I've always liked men." "Zoe!" "You don't like men." "You've never even seen a man." "Doesn't keep me from liking them." "There aren't any men to like." "Men are extinct." "I like them anyway." "Men are the reason for all for the bad things that have happened in the old world." "Men are evil." "We'll explore the Pain Pleasure Paradox." "Pain..." "Precedes pleasure." "Eighteen a night." "Extra towels are extra." "We're Agents of the Server!" "Oh, oh, yes sirs!" "How may I help you?" "We need a room." "Well, I can give you a discount." "A very good discount." "I think you'll do better that a discount Grandmother." "Yes sir!" "I can do better." "Rooms for Agents of the Server are complementary." "Grandmother!" "You own this motel?" "I'm Gamma Class." "I don't own anything." "Of course not." "Your family might have owned it." "Back before the liberation." "It was in my family when I was little girl." "That was a long time ago, grandmother." "Back when there were... men." "You haven't aged well grandmother." "You were supposed to be repurposed at sixty." "I'm fifty-eight." "It's on the Server." "Sure!" "The Server's down." "We can't review your file." "Sixty's the limit Grandma." "Please!" "I'm not that old." "Too bad grandma!" "So sad!" "Looks like you've got some foil under your phone Grandma huh?" "Oh, sorry sir!" "The strap!" "It, it was itching me." "Yeah, right!" "You were itching to run down your cell-phone battery!" "There are more interesting things about grandmother." "Much more interesting that the dead battery in her phone." "No sir!" "There's nothing interesting about me." "Nothing interesting at all!" "Sometimes Gamma Class Non-Persons can be most interesting." "Don't you think Coppel?" "Very interesting indeed." "No sir!" "There's nothing about me." "I'm only a Gamma Class!" "I'm not even a citizen." "I think we're going to find out just how interesting Grandmother really is." "Grandmother knows something interesting." "She may even know about deviants staying here." "I think we need to play a little game." "Let's take a walk!" "Have a seat Grandma!" "There's nothing to be afraid of." "The truth will set you free." "Don't you just love this Alice!" "The Server doesn't know where we are." "Like, it can't see us or anything." "The Server protects us." "If something bad were to happen to us the Server could send help." "Something did happen." "The Server went off-line." "When the Server does come up it'll see we're not at the fertility clinic." "I wish the Server would go off-line forever." "Zoe!" "That's blasphemous!" "Alice, I don't want to get pregnant at the fertility clinic." "Everybody wants to get pregnant at the fertility clinic." "It's a privilege." "Getting impregnated with a turkey baster is no privilege." "That's how people get pregnant." "Or... a man could love me." "That's ridiculous." "Men are obsolete," "Still off-line." "It's a book!" "Whoa!" "It really is a book." "It's actually a book from the old days of paper." "It's a Bible!" "Playing Gin Rummy by yourself Grandmother?" "My little game, the truth game, is much more entertaining than cards." "Much more entertaining." "Please!" "My file is on the Server!" "We can't access the Server." "However, we can access the truth." "Unbutton your shirt grandma!" "No!" "Please!" "No!" "Put the wires on me." "Ms. Marx?" "Please Penelope!" "If you don't mind." "To do this property, you must know exactly how it feels." "Hook me up!" "Now, give it a crank." "I don't know Villa." "Crank it!" "What was that supposed to be?" "I don't want to hurt you." "Crank that thing!" "Villa!" "Are you alright?" "I'm becoming impatient Lieutenant" "Light me up!" "Now!" "I'm afraid." "My dear sweet Penelope." "You really must get over that." "No one does it like I do it." "You need to get rid of that thing before the Server sees you reading it." "Books are outlawed!" "You need to turn that thing into the authorities." "Maybe we can put it back in its little hidey-hole where you found it." "Zoe!" "I thought you got rid of that pencil." "The Server could have you repurposed for playing around with that thing." "Chill out!" "The Server can't see us." "I drew a picture of a man." "It looks like me!" "Just in the face." "You gave me parts!" "You gave me a dongle." "Well yeah!" "I've never seen a real man." "It looks like..." "A fish." "It didn't come out exactly how I wanted." "When we left I time-lined all my friends that we were going to be in Atlanta." "Everyone's going to be worried about us." "All those friends on your page." "You know they don't give a flying rat about you." "They wouldn't even notice if you never posted again." "I'm telling you the truth!" "It's all my fault grandmother." "I just haven't asked the right questions." "I'll tell you anything you want to know." "I'm sure you will." "Do you have a man in here?" "Like perhaps some old geezer who managed to slighter away from the purge?" "There's no extra doors in here grandmother?" "No escape tunnels?" "So!" "The old man is still in here with us!" "Right under our noses!" "A man?" "Lieutenant!" "Your gun please." "A true leader never asks her subordinate to do something she wouldn't do herself." "Please!" "I'll do anything!" "Betray the man!" "Villa!" "Villa!" "Villa!" "What!" "What's your hurry putting that thing on?" "The battery." "It could use a charge." "It'll survive a little longer." "You know the Server can have us repurposed for un-monitored intimacy." "Don't you just love how it feels when we're totally alone?" "Put your phone on." "No." "It drains my life force." "Zoe!" "I don't want it on me." "Stop." "You're going to break it." "It's the Whisky!" "You don't know what you're doing." "Maybe." "Maybe I don't know what I'm doing!" "Death by broken heart." "How did you know about that man?" "I can smell them." "Makes the hair on my neck prick up." "You can smell them?" "They're like rats." "Rats?" "When you see one, there's ten more you don't." "We need to check the rest of the Motel rooms." "Agents of the Server!" "Allow entry." "We're investigating criminal activity in this district." "I did it!" "I broke the cell-phone." "Destruction of Server property." "Second-level felony." "Move it lieutenant." "We're not here for this." "Whuff!" "What's happening?" "Alcohol!" "A drunken Beta Class Citizen." "What is it?" "What are you people doing to Alice?" "Ms. Marx!" "I found this." "What is this trash?" "This Beta Class Citizen was concealing this contraband material, Sir." "Looks like" "A fish." "There's no men in here." "This is a dry hole." "Men?" "In here?" "The paper's not yours, sister." "Neither is the phone." "It's my phone." "She was lying to protect you." "They're both guilty." "Just shoot them Coppel." "For only a second level felony sir?" "Well then" "Just shoot one of them." "Pull the trigger Lieutenant." "Now." "Now!"