"What are you doing?" "What are you up to?" "Bam. I don't have any pants on." "So what?" "Stop it." "What are you doing today?" "We have a busy day." "We have a super-busy day. so..." "And tomorrow and the ne_ day and the ne_ day after that." "Why don't you let me get dressed." "and then we can go do our busy day?" "I don't think I want you to." "You want me to go like this?" "Yeah." "Go like this." "Stop!" "Get out of here." "Hury up." "Go!" "Shit ass." "He's Bam Margera." "She's his fiancée, Missy." "These former childhood sweethearts are about to take the plunge and be ioined in an unholy union." "Hey." "Miss." "How you doing?" "I'm all right." "I'm stressed. I don't know what to do." "Have you. like. gone to a florist." "or have you thought about any of that?" "How about a dress?" "Well. I thought about all of it." "l lust haven't done it yet." "Well. time's a-ticking. baby." "I know. I lust don't know where to start." "Well. have you thought about. like." "maybe hiring a wedding planner because we're all so busy?" "It's like she'll tell you when to go. where to go and..." "Yeah. but do you think we're gonna be able to find someone who Bam's gonna actually listen to and be willing to work with?" "is Bam home?" "Hey. what are you doing?" "Bam?" "Hey. babe. one second." "We're thinking about maybe hiring a wedding planner." "How into that are you?" "l'm not making any decisions." "Well. lust say. yes." "you don't care if we hire one." "Let him play." "Come on." "My job's done." "I don't care what you do." "Do you think maybe you want to come downstairs?" "You don't want to meet the wedding planners?" "They're down there now?" "No. they're coming." "We have. like. five different interviews going on today." "You can skate out in the driveway in between..." "Stop!" "You're gonna hurt yourself." "l'm gonna go hide in the closet." "Oh. for Christ's sake." "Why do you have to be so dramatic?" "Whatever." "Hi." "Hi." "How are you guys?" "How are you?" "Come on in." "Samantha." "Nice to meet you." "Missy." "Hi. how are you?" "How are you?" "Hi. I'm Missy." "Good. I'm Ally." "lt's nice to meet you." "Nice to meet you. too." "Hi." "Missy. I'm Linda." "Nice to meet you." "Nice to meet you. too." "Hi." "Jillian." "Vey nice to meet you." "Hi." "Thanks for coming." "Our main issue. as of now." "is we don't have a venue." "l mean. do you have a dress yet?" "No." "You basically mean we're starting from scratch." "Yes." "What do you see as your final product?" "What's up. babe?" "Babe!" "This is Bam." "Hi." "Bam." "Hi." "Bam." "Hello." "See you later on. babe." "Bye." "Yeah. that was him." "So some of our guests could be a little wild. so... I would hope and assume that people would know to behave themselves 'cause it is a wedding." "That's part of what I do. I mean." "touching base with all the vendors so they all know when they're coming." "where they're going." "how they're getting there." "all that good stuff." "and then I don't know if you..." "Yeah. we don't have the most normal living arrangements here." "So you think there's hope for us." "like. we're not completely screwed?" "Thank you for waiting." "Not a problem at all." "l appreciate it." "First thing I should probably let you know is that" "we do not have a location at the time." "Don't wory about it." "Really?" "Not at all." "Not at all." "Okay. that's refreshing to hear." "We're gonna have a pretty interesting assortment of guests." "so would you be prepared to deal with. like. nudity. vomiting. fights." "things of that nature?" "Oh. no!" "Heavens!" "Nudity. vomiting and fights." "Yes. there's things that are gonna happen that are beyond our control." "We lust have to be prepared." "and the best offence is a good defence." "Yeah. you seem way more laid-back than the other people I've interviewed." "My services are tailored to what you feel you need" "and what you feel you want." "We seem like we're on the same page." "Fabulous." "Well. it sounds wonde_ul." "Thank you so much for coming out." "Not a problem." "l feel refreshed having talked to you." "That's a lot of craziness." "Yeah." "Bam. this is Sarah." "You're hired." "Oh. thanks." "So are you ready to put a guest list together?" "Not really." "We have to." "Let's break it down into. like. your bar friends." "skate friends. celebrity friends." "Hello?" "Babe?" "Tony Hawk." "Okay." "What do you want to do about. like. the whole..." "Any other skate friends?" "Plenty. I just..." "Well. start naming them." "l'm fucking tying. man." "Jesus Christ." "l have like 80 billion friends." "Well. lust start saying names." "l don't know where to draw the line." "All right." "Knoxville." "Steve-O." "Wee Man." "l'm just gonna write. "Jackasses."" "Think about..." "What?" "l just lined them both up together." "Now I don't know which one is the front and the back." "Shit!" "What about the lady at Kegs on Tap Wawa?" "That would be where we would draw the line." "What about Bon Jovi?" "See. if fucking Bon Jovi comes." "I wanna spend at least 10 minutes with him." "Why invite somebody if I'm just gonna say "Hi. bye"?" "You could lust go around from table to table. and you say." ""Hello." "Thanks for coming."" "Fake "Hi."" "Fake "Hi. thanks for coming." -"Hi. thanks for coming."" ""Hello."" "Fake "Hi. thanks for coming."" ""Hey. I don't want to talk to you." "but thanks for coming."" ""Hi " okay?" ""Hey. thanks for coming." Then..." ""Hey. who the fuck are you?" "Thanks for coming."" "Well. then why are we having a big wedding?" "If you don't want to have a big wedding." "we don't have to have a big wedding." "I don't want to have a big wedding." "Most of this guest..." "If..." "Bam. don't even..." "No." "Babe. no." "there's so much things on that!" "No." "No. seriously. don't." "Bam!" "So didn't hurt." "You could do it as hard as you can right in my face. and it still... lt's 1 :15." "Where the hell is she?" "l don't know." "I'm sure she'll be here. though." "She's vey responsible." "First day of work. 30 minutes late." "That's real responsible." "Well. what else do you need to do?" "I gotta push Novak off the kayak off the quarter pipe." "is that more important than meeting with our wedding planner?" "Definitely." "It's gonna be hilarious." "Where the hell is Sarah?" "You could make him a helmet out of one of them pumpkins." "Do you want to?" "Yeah!" "Hi." "Sarah. it's Missy." "How are you?" "Oh. my God. are you okay?" "Which one's gonna fit his fat head?" "This one." "Now. when you put it on. point to where you think your eyes may be." "Right there?" "Yeah." "Now stay there." "No. dude. I can hear it!" "Hey. babe. I lust talked to Sarah." "She got into a car accident." "ls that why she's late?" "Yeah." "She's all right." "but. like. her car got jacked up." "so don't yell when she gets here." "Okay." "Do not scare her off." "Okay." "Oh. that's probably her." "Well." "let's open up that tequila." "Oh. my God!" "You weren't kidding." "We didn't think it would be that bad." "Holy shit!" "I'm like. "Let's lust roll." "Here's my card." "Let's go."" "Well. what a legitimate excuse of being late." "Yeah." "Frantz. I think you should be pouring some shots here." "Nice outfit." "Oh. thanks." "Let's get out of this rain and go in and plan our wedding." "These are the two most important things." "The venue and the dress?" "Your dress and the venue." "Eveything else will kind of fall into place." "I'll lust feel so much better once we find a place and once l. like. get the ball rolling on my dress." "and I think I'll actually be able to be like... I'd like to ty and get as much done as we possibly can" "in a short period of time..." "Yeah. me. too." "...which is kind of crazy. but..." "Are you happy you took this job?" "Of course I am." "Thank God you're here." "Okay." "Babe. what are you doing?" "Party!" "Guess who's here?" ""lt's me." "Novak."" "Are we setting this wedding up or what?" "Eveything was going smooth and nice. calm." "and then he comes flying down the fucking steps in a kayak. and you're here." "Why am I not surprised?" "We got stunts to do today." "Ready." "Novak?" "Get up there. bitch." "I can't even see the ramp." "And you're not supposed to." "Just lean back." "Helmet. please." "Sir!" "Yes. sir!" "Missy!" "Check this shit out!" "I'm sure it's a real official Nascar helmet." "I can't even see out of my helmet." "Do you wanna go check this out. like..." "Might as well." "Ready?" "Yeah." "Help us out." "Can you turn at all?" "I'm glad it's Novak and not Bam." "Oh. my God!" "All right. here we go." "Oh." "Bran." "Oh. my God!" "And that was my helmet?" "Here's my helmet." "ladies and gentlemen." "I'm really disappointed in what I saw at all the stores around here." "The dresses." "I don't know if my expectations are too high. I didn't like anything." "Well. I don't think you're gonna find a proper wedding dress" "at West Chester." "That's what I..." "Well..." "How about I take you to New York tomorrow?" "Really?" "You'll really do that for me?" "No." "Let's go to. like." "Madison Avenue." "Where?" "There's this one place I saw online called Mark Ingram." "I'll call your mom. my mom." "and Jess. and we'll all go." "Well. there's no need to be looking online for wedding dresses any more 'cause I lust told you that I'm taking you to New York. so..." "Am I done with all this wedding stuff now 'cause I just did that?" "You're off the hook for at least a day." "Babe. you're gonna break my neck!" "Stop!" "Bam!" "I'm real excited about going to New York. I hope I find a dress." "lt's New York." "Of course you will." "l know. but I'm down to one day." "You could find one the day before if you want." "Are you kidding me?" "You have to order that dress." "and then the designer makes the dress for my measurements." "Well. that is bell shit." "Well. that's how it goes." "That's why I need to get it done today." "because it's gonna take at least eight to 10 weeks." "Why don't you lust clamp it in the back and always face eveyone?" "Don't be ridiculous." "Hi!" "How come you're here?" "l'm going to New York." "I don't think so." "You don't go for a wedding gown." "You don't get to see it before the wedding day." "Says who?" "Says me." "So who's going?" "Me." "Well. how the fuck am I supposed to get home?" "You can take the limo or the Heartagram car." "They're both here." "I gotta drive a freaking limo back to my house?" "And a painted one at that." "What happens when you come walking along." "l'm like. "Ew. you picked that thing?"" "You're not gonna say. "Ew."" "I know." "That's why..." "'Cause I'm going to New York" "to make sure that I don't say. "Ew."" "You're not going." "Are you keeping your hairstyle the same." "Miss." "or are you gonna have a different hairstyle for the wedding?" "What the..." "Are you kidding me?" "I'm going over to Dico's." "Love you." "See you." "Have fun in the limo." "We'll call you." "Screw off!" "Let me call my mom and Jess and let them know we're on our way." "Hey." "Ape!" "What?" "I'd be better off with this thing than the freaking limo." "Hey. that's my garden prop." "Isn't it cute?" "It's got flowers in it." "Bam!" "Hey. that was expensive!" "This was expensive?" "You got gypped." "Yeah!" "l had to buy it pre-rusted!" "This was expensive." "I want that back." "Bam." "Hey. don't leave that there." "Bam!" "Oh. man." "I'm so excited about looking for dresses." "Yeah. me. too." "l know." "We're getting so close to the wedding date." "I'm getting really nervous." "Oh. my gosh!" "I'm getting so nervous." "This is beautiful." "Oh. my gosh." "Don't you see eveything you want to. like. pick out right away?" "Have a seat in here." "Thank you." "It's my pleasure." "So tell me all about your special day." "What are your plans so far?" "Well. I know that I'm gonna dress my girls in black." "Vey fabulous." "Black. I love that." "Yep. that's about as far as I've gotten so far." "Have you tried on dresses before?" "No. no. no." "So I'll pull some things for you. okay?" "Okay." "Thank you." "Be right back." "You're so tiny." "You're gonna look great." "l'm so excited." "Dude." "Missy woke me up at the shit crack of dawn lust to not go to New York because I can't look at the wedding dress." "l wish she did let you go to New York." "Why?" "Because then you wouldn't be waking me up" "to loin you doing nothing all day." "l'm not doing nothing." "I'm going skating at this bowl in King of Prussia." "Oh. my..." "Oh. my God!" "lt's beautiful." "You're gonna make me cy." "Don't cy." "Please don't cy." "You know what?" "They're all beautiful." "Yeah. but this shows off her figure really. really..." "Yeah." "She's got an amazing figure." "It really shows it off." "I love that." "Wow!" "So classy." "l love it." "Yeah. I think that's our favourite so far." "I'm gonna lust apologise ahead of time for anything that my kid does." "I'm like..." "I just..." "The first time I saw him after he hid from me" "for two months..." "Right." "...I walked right up to him." "poked him in the chest and said don't F with the mother-in-law." "Thank you so much for eveything." "My pleasure." "Nice to meet you." "Good to meet you." "l'll be in touch." "Please stay in touch." "Okay." "Okay. great." "Thanks." "l think that dress is fabulous on her." "Unbelievable." "Yeah. these are all beautiful." "Yo. what the hell are you doing on this shitty-ass day?" "Aren't you supposed to be planning a wedding?" "l'm paying the bills." "You're skating in the rain." "That was awesome!" "Your heinie hole's hanging out." "Nice fucking iudo kick." "Here you go." "D!" "Little something. something." "l think I'll get hurt." "Drop in. pussy." "I love the commitment." "You stink!" "That sucked." "Break your neck." "Man!" "That's the first time I did that since. like. '86." "Damn." "Dico!" "What?" "Come in here and look at this fucking heinous dress. dude." "I saw it in the closet." "and it said "bridal" on it." "and this has to be a freaking ioke." "is this what Ape and Missy picked out?" "Rake. you put it on." "Well. I don't know how to wear a fucking wedding dress." "Yeah. right." "Dude. it doesn't fucking fit." "Look at him wiggle his hips." "How do you fucking tie this?" "It's open season on brides." "Let's go." "Come on." "All right. this dress has to get ruined once and for all because there is no way that Missy can wear this hunk-of-shit dress." "and Rake Yohn's gonna help us ruin it." "This is the worst idea ever." "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "It is so muddy right now." "It's so rude but so fun." "hitting him just so up close." "I don't think we need to wory about Missy wearing this dress any more." "This wedding better be fucking worth it." "Oh. shit!" "I have one paintball left." "No!" "Let's nail it to the door." "Yeah. ne_ time we play paintball." "I want a gun." "Hold it up there." "What the hell is that?" "That's the dress." "Oh. my God." "l don't even want to touch it." "Bam. you know they're gonna go insane." "and Missy had to buy that with her own money." "I don't give two Sam shits. dude." "That thing was so ugly." "if I saw her in that." "I would have ran to Kazakhstan." "Bam. what the fuck?" "l..." "You put it right in..." "You are a fucking asshole." "You put it right in the closet." "Fuck you." "Fuck you." "You put it..." "It's ugly." "Look at that thing." "Learn to be afraid." "Learn to be afraid." "Be afraid." "Be vey afraid." "Come out here." "What?" "Are you dead serious?" "This is embarrassing." "Yeah. it is embarrassing." "It's the most ugly fucking dress I've ever seen." "and you put it in the closet right in front of my eyes." "Then I had to take a peek even if I'm not supposed to." "so then I go out and show eveybody else." "I'm like. "Maybe I lust think it's ugly."" "No. I show it to fucking Rake and Dico and. all them. they're like. "Ew " too." "Do you have any idea how much that cost?" "lt cost a lot." "lt looks like it cost eleventeen dollars." "Do you know how long it takes to get a wedding dress?" "What the fuck am I supposed to do?" "Is this wedding a joke to you?" "l'm taking it seriously." "That is so fucking disrespectful." "lt's ugly!" "You're an asshole." "You totally crossed the fucking line." "l hated it." "Well. I kind of hate you right now for doing this." "I'm sory. I didn't know that you'd get that mad about it. I..." "You didn't think I'd get mad about you ruining my wedding dress?" "Well." "Rake and Dico were like. "Yeah. get rid of it." ""Let's make it all muddy and put paint balls on it."" "Did you really think that I would wear something like this?" "No. and that's why I got rid of it." "What?" "Are you fucking with me?" "Yes." "I thought that was the most maddest you've ever been." "Do you really think that I would put my real dress in our house?" "And do you really think I would wear that piece of shit?" "l thought I knew your taste." "You are an idiot!" "No. I'm not an idiot!" "No!" "Here's to Missy!" "Yeah!" "I should be mad at you 'cause you pulled a prank..." "Oh. get over it." "l'm not over it." "Get over it." "No." "Get over it." "No." "Get over it." "No." "Yes." "You're so rude." "Let's go to bed." "It's midnight." "Why are we still filming?" "I'm going out." "Are you gonna stay home and cy about it." "or do you wanna go have a drink?"