"♪ There's a hundred and four days of summer vacation" "♪ and school comes along just to end it" "♪ So the annual problem for our generation" "♪ is finding a good way to spend it" "♪ Like maybe" "♪ Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy" "♪ or climbing up the Eiffel Tower" "♪ Discovering something that doesn't exist" "Hey!" "♪ Or giving a monkey a shower" "♪ Surfing tidal waves" "♪ Creating nano-bots or locating Frankenstein's brain" "It's over here!" "♪ Finding a dodo bird Painting a continent" "♪ Or driving our sister insane" "Phineas!" "♪ As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do" "♪ before school starts this fall" "♪ So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all!" "Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!" "DOOFENSHMIRTZ:" "No, no, no, no." "No, I've been good." "Don't put me in your gunder sack." "Not the gunder sack!" "(SCREAMS) The Kinderlumper!" "(GASPS) That's it!" "The Kinderlumper." "(CHUCKLES EVILLY)" "CANDACE:" "So, what do you think?" "I think you look like you just fell off a turnip truck." "And then got run over by a rutabaga truck." "Yeah, yeah, real funny." "This is the official rutabaga regalia for the 100th Running of the Chinchillas from Danville to Badgertown." "By wearing this, it'll entice the chinchillas to follow me, their princess!" "So, yeah, I get it." "It's a huge honor and everything," "Why do you really want to be Rutabaga Princess?" "I get to start the Running of the Chinchillas." "Yeah..." "Mom and Dad and everyone in Danville will be waiting in Badgertown to see me cross the finish line." "Yeah..." "I get to be on TV!" "Stacy!" "This could be the first step on my way to stardom." "And as my best friend, you'll be famous by association." "That's my favorite kind of famous!" "PHINEAS:" "Candace!" "What is it, Phineas?" "Look at the cool vehicles we made for you for the Running of the Chinchillas." "Baljeet has grown a new super strain of bio-engineered rutabaga." "I simply spliced the genetic code of a rutabaga and a giant redwood." "And..." "And fennel." "I wanted it to smell like licorice." "You're not getting me in one of those things." "I'm not showing up for my TV debut looking like a complete weirdo." "What?" "I said "complete."" "And now I must leave." "My public awaits." "Yeah, and I must go be famous by association." "And to think, we knew Stacy before she was famous by association." "(YELPS) I'm supposed to be in Badgertown!" "(CAT YELPS)" "Morning, Agent P." "I was just doing a little handicapping for this year's Running of the Chinchillas." "I think I'm going to box Dryer's Dust with Squeaky Toy." "And I'm taking Gerbil Bait to win." "You're daft, Carl." "Anyway, word has it that Doofenshmirtz plans to attend the ceremonies." "The odds are he's up to something evil." "Better look into it, Agent P." "Hmm, Gerbil Bait." "(SCOFFS) Talk about your long shots." "Good morning, everyone." "I'm Mike Van Hatofapilgrim, here in Danville for the 100th Annual Running of the Chinchillas." "And with us today is this year's Rutabaga Princess." "And what's your name, young lady?" "I'm Candace Flynn." "And I'm famous by association." "That's great." "Well, there you have it." "A good day for rutabagas, chinchillas and self-promoting sycophantism." "(CLEARS THROAT) Citizens of Danville!" "It is now time for your princess, me, to start the Running of the Chinchillas." "I now summon my tuber troubadour." "I will now play the traditional chinchilla fanfare." "(INHALES DEEPLY)" "(BLOWING TUNELESSLY)" "(INHALES DEEPLY)" "(SPLUTTERS)" "(STAMMERS) Huh?" "What?" "(CRASHING)" "I see." "Not a music lover." "My princess." "I will now take a bite of the ceremonial rutabaga!" "(GRUNTS)" "(RETCHES)" "And now I most humbly take my leave, Princess." "Yeah, you do that, Sputnik." "Chinchillas!" "Let the running begin!" "MIKE:" "Well, there they go." "Another Running of the Chinchillas is under way." "And now back to you in the studio." "Really?" "How am I supposed to do a live broadcast when no one is in the studio?" "We're not live." "We're taping this." "(SIGHS) Fine." "Candace!" "Here, let me get your train." "Oh!" "Oh, my gosh!" "Sorry!" "I don't know, Stacy, this is harder than I thought." "Maybe if we ran in front of them it would be a little easier." "Okay, now onward to Badgertown!" "Oh!" "Oh, my gosh!" "Sorry!" "That should do it." "Excellent." "Perry the Platypus?" "Oh!" "Sorry you had to see that." "It's just that this one button..." "Anyway, you are just in time to witness as I activate the Kinderlump-inator and transform myself into a real live Kinderlumper!" "What?" "Don't tell me you've never heard of the Kinderlumper." "You know, a gigantic troll with sharp teeth?" "Nose like a broom handle?" "He grabs children, puts them in a gunder sack if they..." "You've never heard of this?" "My mother used to sing me this lovely song about it, right before I went to bed." "And it goes a little something like this." "(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)" "♪ The Kinderlumper's probably gonna getcha" "♪ 'Cause you've only ever been an awful kid" "♪ Pretty soon he's gonna come and catch ya (SCREAMING)" "♪ Then everyone will know just what you did" "♪ Because if you make some bubbles in the bathtub" "♪ If you've got saliva in your mouth" "♪ If you ever feel the need to blink your eyeballs" "♪ If he finds you breathing in and out" "♪ The Kinderlumper's gonna getcha" "♪ The Kinderlumper's gonna getcha" "♪ If you ever drink a glass of water (GASPS)" "♪ If you turn your head just slightly to the right" "♪ If you ever feel the need to use the bathroom" "♪ Then the Kinderlumper's gonna strike tonight" "♪ The Kinderlumper's gonna getcha (SCREAMING)" "♪ The Kinderlumper's gonna getcha" "♪ The Kinderlumper's gonna getcha" "♪ The Kinderlumper's gonna getcha" "♪ He's gonna get you good" "♪ The Kinderlumper's gonna getcha ♪" "So anyway, I got this actual-sized Kinderlumper costume and I'm going to shoot myself with the Kinderlumper -inator, which will make me gigantic and trollish." "So, you know, it will fit." "Then, I will go scare my brother, Roger, so badly that he is certain to relinquish control of the Tri-State Area to me!" "Well, to the Kinderlumper, actually, but when the ray wears off, I'll be me again, and I'll already be in control." "Stand back, Perry the Platypus." "Prepare to do some beholding." "Oh!" "Knock it off, you crazy Platypu... (ROARING)" "It worked!" "(CHUCKLING)" "(YELPS)" "You know, Stacy, this is fun." "I could get used to this princess thing." "(SNARLING)" "(BOTH SCREAMING)" "(SNARLING)" "Did you see that?" "Call in chopper four!" "This is the biggest story of my career." "Let's get some!" "Oh, why did I ever opt for work release?" "Seriously, Perry the Platypus, was it really necessary to destroy everything?" "(CHATTERING SNARL) Now, now." "(STAMMERING) That's a good trollish, gigantic platypus." "Ha!" "Let that be a lesson to you." "Never stand on a big cartoony X." "And now, I have a little appointment to keep with the mayor." "(LAUGHING EVILLY)" "(CHATTERING)" "Everyone have your signs and foam fingers ready to cheer Candace on?" "Ready!" "Ready!" "Buford, you ripped your finger off!" "Yeah?" "What about it?" "Nothing." "Phineas, Phineas, Phineas!" "And Ferb!" "You have to help us!" "We're being chased by monster-sized chinchillas!" "Monster-sized chinchillas?" "That's awesome!" "(SNARLING) Here they come!" "This is amazing!" "I've never been in a helicopter before!" "They're gaining on us!" "And can't this thing go any faster?" "I got the fennel pedal all the way to the rutabaga metal!" "And, yes, I know it's a weird sentence." "I can't outrun 'em." "(SCREAMING)" "Phineas!" "(SCREAMS)" "Isabella!" "(SCREAMS)" "Oh, no!" "Phineas and Ferb!" "Oh, those poor, innocent kids." "I can't watch." "It's just..." "It's just..." "I'm gonna step outside where I ca..." "Whoa!" "Did you see that?" "I almost stepped out of the helicopter." "Did you see that?" "(SCREAMING)" "Save yourself, Princess." "Run!" "Run!" "(SCREAMS)" "The chinchillas should be here any minute, Mr. Mayor." "I hope they won't ask me to eat any rutabagas like last year." "I think we can avoid..." "(GASPS) What is it?" "MAN: (SCREAMING) Help!" "Oh!" "(CROWD CLAMORING)" "I think I know this guy." "It's only the Kinderlumper come to join our celebration!" "(CHUCKLING)" "(SING-SONGY) Now it's a party!" "I, uh..." "I believe the more appropriate response would be to flee in terror?" "But Kinderlumper, why would I ever run away from you?" "Don't you remember the Kinderlumpsong?" "Remember?" "Of course I remember." "Mother used to sing me the song every night." "♪ The Kinderlumper's always going to love you" "♪ And bring you lots of presents while you sleep... ♪" "No, no, no, wait!" "Those are not the words!" "That's how she sang it to me." "And I still have some of the gifts you brought me." "Look, almond brittle!" "No!" "But you..." "But you don't even like almond brittle!" "I know." "That's why I never ate it." "No!" "(SOBBING)" "No, it's not fair!" "Funny, I never thought of the Kinderlumper as such a crybaby." "Oh, no, the effect is wearing off." "(SCREAMING) Run for your lives!" "They're coming!" "The chinchillas!" "It's too late for me, save yourselves!" "Ooh!" "(GIGGLING)" "No, no, no." "Stop, no." "(LAUGHING)" "Where you this dramatic when you were Rutabaga Princess?" "Oh, yeah." "Stop it!" "No, seriously." "Candace, that was so exciting!" "You're the best Rutabaga Princess yet!" "Phineas!" "I thought you were stampeded!" "We were!" "It didn't hurt." "They were big, but they were still fluffy." "It's like being run over by cotton candy, but less sticky." "That was amazing!" "We got it all on camera!" "Wait, really?" "Did you get Phineas and Ferb in their rutabaga vehicles?" "Yep!" "The whole thing!" "Where's the camera?" "Oh, it's right over there." "No, the biggest story of my career!" "(SOBS) And it just flew away!" "Welcome to my world, Mike." "Welcome to my world." "Oh!" "There you are, Perry." "Get over here, you hairy little beast." "(CHATTERING)" "So this rock climbing wall will be big!" "And best of all, it'll be built out of all natural, 100% organic, free-range yard trimmings." "So it is only a rock climbing wall?" "No, it's not "only" a rock climbing wall." "It's a free-range, organic rock climbing wall." "I can see how that would be relevant" "We're not going to have to eat it, are we?" "I guess if we had to, we could." "But..." "Did I just hear we're building something we can eat?" "You know, for the record, I would like to not to be in a position today" "We'll see what we can do, but we're not making any promises." "Mom, have you seen my other white skirt?" "What are those charts?" "Hon, the rare and elusive Bentbill Nuthatch is in its nest building season." "The birds will be done traveling north and should be right here in town today." "No, dear, the bird took a left at Snoresville and is up here in Danville." "Can I get one up high?" "Whoo-hoo!" "Okay, more specifically, it should be right in our backyard at exactly 4:00 today!" "Isn't it exciting?" "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait." "So you and a bunch of trained observers are gonna be in our yard at exactly 4:00 in the PM today?" "Well, yes." "Love it!" "The booby-hatch trash nut, whatever it is, is my new favorite bird!" "This is awesome!" "See you guys later." "See?" "She thinks it's fun." "Oh, yes." "And I'm British so you think I'm supposed to like bird watching." ""Ooh, I'm British, so I'll be in the conservatory" "I'm saying that ironically, but actually, that sounds quite good." "So I'm going to do that." "Ta." "Oh, yeah." "Yeah, yeah." "This looks good." "So, how long till you're done with this contraption?" "Think you'll still be out here at four?" "I dunno." "I guess so." "ISABELLA:" "Hi, Phineas." "What you doing?" "Hey, Isabella." "Rock climbing wall." "Well, I just came by to tell you" "I've been charged with the task of recording the audio book version of the Fireside Girls Compendium Guide." "It's gonna take forever!" "That book does not look so intimidating." "Dude, this is just the table of contents!" "The actual book is being transported from a secret bunker to our recording studio in the Fireside Girl lodge." "Seriously, this is going to take me a week." "We'll just put this rock climbing wall off till tomorrow." "Wait, what?" "No!" "You guys keep working!" "I'll narrate the audio book!" "You stay here and help the boys." "And not only will I finish recording your book today," "I'll do it by 4:00!" "So, let me get this straight." "You'll do all the work while I spend the day with Phineas?" "Hmm..." "Deal." "But do you know anyone that can work a state-of-the-art sound board?" "Someone who can understand basic miking techniques?" "(SQUEALS)" "What is it, Irving?" "Okay, I'll do it." "But only if Isabella says, "Where's Perry?"" "No deal." "You drive a hard bargain." "I'm in." "It's okay, I was about to ask that anyway." "uh, we're getting reports that there is a distinct smell of confectioners' sugar and icing coming from Doofenshmirtz's building." "He must be up to something evil, and sweet." "Sweet and evil." "Sweevil, if you will." "Go and stop him!" "Stand by." "And put your cans on." "Fireside Girls Compendium." "Introduction." "Page one and take one." "Whenever you're ready." ""Ma May Me Mo Mu." "Topeka, Kansas." "Man, this is the worst book dedication ever." "How are we doing in there, Irving?" "Levels are fine." "(SIGHS) "Page one." ""Welcome, Fireside Girl!" ""You're about to embark on a transformative journey" ""that you will remember for years to come."" ""And water should be boiling." ""Now onto part two of the introduction."" ""Section 12, part six," ""how to build a fire using only bobby pins and a hat."" ""Section 25, part 16," ""How to tell if a marshmallow is properly roasted." (CLEARS THROAT)" "Can I get you some water?" "Maybe." "No." "Keep it rolling." "Keep it rolling." ""Beginning section 25, part 17."" "PHINEAS:" "Okay, gang." "Is everybody all strapped in their harness?" "Ready, but it is also the worst wedgie I've ever had." "Oh, really?" "Present company excluded." "All righty, then." "Let's go!" "♪ We keep on climbing" "♪ Climbing like kudzu" "♪ A creeping ficus up a garden wall" "♪ A social climber, climbing with debutants" "♪ There's Escanaba, I can see Montreal" "♪ No, I've never been so happy" "♪ Felt so light or looked so tall" "♪ Plus it's also a good aerobic workout" "♪ Climbing up a rock climbing wall" "♪ As long as you don't fall!" "CHORUS:" "♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated ♪" "Well, if it isn't Perry the Platypus." "And when I say "isn't," I mean "is."" "I know you're into martial arts, but I prefer the confectionery arts myself, like this gingerbread-house trap!" "Hey!" "It looks a lot bigger on the inside than it looks on the outside." "Here, have some cozy gumdrop slippers. (CHUCKLES)" "I think I know why I'm having a hard time taking over the Tri-State Area." "It's because of dinner parties." "That's right." "Follow me, it, it goes somewhere." "You see, my brother, Roger, is a success because of his amazing dinner parties, where he dazzles important guests with his magnetic charm." "But what if he were unable to charm anyone because his fabulous dinner parties were over before they began?" "That's why I created this!" "The Bring-Out- the-Dessert-inator!" "You see, everyone knows that once the dessert comes out the party's over." "That's what's, that's what's called a social cue." "This rocket will go into a Roger-centric orbit around his house." "At the wrong moment, it will shoot a blast which will make Roger bring out the dessert, ending his dinner party before it can begin." "He'll lose his charming edge and people will lose interest in him." "Bing, bang, boom, they'll stop voting for him." "And that's when I'll slink in and take ov..." "You know, I, I know I'm grasping at straws here, and I'll probably end up grasping at bendy straws and fall on my face requiring months of rehab to learn how to monologue all over again." "And then it's off to empowerment camp, where I'll have to fall backwards and hope that someone..." "Who wants dessert?" "I made this lovely tiramisu." "Hey!" "It works!" "Oh, you think you're very funny, Perry the Platypus, blasting me with my own Bring-Out-the-Dessert-inator." "Oh, ho, ho, I hope you left some room!" "I made a yummy double layer pumpkin cheesecake." "It has creamy..." "(GRUNTS)" "Well, you made me bring it to you, so you're gonna eat it!" "(CRUNCHING) Ow!" "(CHATTERING) (RAY POWERING UP)" "(LAUGHS) Now it's your turn to bring out the..." "No!" "(CRASHING)" "How about a banana split?" "(LAUGHS)" "Finally got your just desserts!" "Good one, right?" "Huh?" "What are you doing with that pound cake?" "I was saving that for company." "Aah... (CHOKING)" "Oh." "Oh, wow, Perry the Platypus," "I'm getting such a sugar rush!" "How about you?" "(CHATTERING)" "(GIGGLING)" ""In conclusion, may your Fireside Girl experience be a treasured one," ""with memories for a lifetime." "Um, I'd like you to do one more take on that last chapter." "I'd like to hurt you." "That's a wrap." "BUFORD:" "Hey, you guys." "I can see my thoughts." "They're all sparkly and spread out around us." "It is the lack of oxygen." "It makes you light-headed." "I think it's time to climb down." "Ha-ha!" "Coming down!" "Whoo-hoo!" "Oh, I get it, we're in space." "(SCREAMS)" "DOOFENSHMIRTZ:" "Can you do this, Perry the Platypus?" "Can you jump really fast up and down, and up and down, and up and down, and up and down?" "Yeah, that's it, Perry the Platypus." "Doesn't it feel good?" "Let's be jumping buddies." "Let's just eat dessert and jump up and down, and up and down, and up and down all day." "It'll be our thing." "Just remember," "I, I invented it because I'm the inventor." "Yes!" "It's still here." "Hey, Candace!" "How'd it go?" "I finished recording." "Irving's uploading it to the Fireside Girl mainframe as we speak." "Thanks so much, Candace." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Now the important thing." "To get Mom out here." "(VOICE FADING) Mom!" "Mom!" "Do you want me to get Mom?" "(CLEARS THROAT) No." "You stay here." "Nobody move." "If we leave, this thing'll disappear." "She'll be out here in two minutes with her bird watching group." "I'll wait." "Jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump." "Oh!" "Oh, sugar crash!" "(BEEPING)" "Oh, The-Bring-Out- the-Dessert-inator." "It must be almost time for Roger's dinner party to begin." "(CHATTERING)" "(LAUGHS) Sugar crash." "There she goes." "And you can't do anything about it 'cause you're on a sugar crash." "Wait, wait, what's that?" "Protein and carbohydrates?" "No, don't eat that!" "No!" "Okay, but, uh, but let's do that jumping thing again sometime, huh?" "Okay, gang!" "Everyone follow me outside!" "The bird should be right..." "Hey!" "Who's ready for dessert?" "Doesn't that sound good?" "Oh!" "See, now, Brits like dessert!" "Does this mean she wants us to leave?" "Well, according to social convention, I guess." "DOOFENSHMIRTZ:" "Welcome, Perry the Platypus." "What took you so long?" "I'm speaking to you through this amplifier right next to the self-destruct button." "The rocket will soon be in orbit around my brother's house, ready for the next dinner party." "And you can ride that rocket until your tail falls off." "I don't care." "Or until you find the self-destruct button, which is..." "Oh, dang it!" "Curse you, Perry the Pla...typus." "(HOARSELY) Mom!" "(DIALING)" "(CELL PHONE RINGING) Candace?" "Mom!" "Mom!" "Come outside!" "(COUGHS)" "Hon, I can't hear you." "Let's talk in a minute." "Who wants this a la mode?" "Mom!" "Look!" "Ooh!" "It's the rare Bentbill Nuthatch!" "Isn't she beautiful?" "She's finding material for her nest." "(CHIRPING)" "Well, I guess they've got a lot of nests to make." "We did build the thing out of pressed twigs and lawn clippings." "Nature's little recyclers at work." "Come on!" "Come on!" "What?" "What?" "No!" "But..." "But..." "But..." "Oh, honey!" "I see it!" "What?" "Don't move." "Hold still." "(CAMERA CLICKS) Got it!" "Oh, Candace, I wouldn't have seen it if you hadn't grabbed me forcibly and pulled me out here." "Thank you!" "So, you kids want some dessert?" "Yeah!" "Some tea with honey would help that throat." "And there's crumpets in the conservatory as well." "He's so British." "Let's go!" "♪ We keep on climbing" "♪ Climbing like kudzu" "♪ A creeping ficus up a garden wall" "♪ A social climber, climbing with debutants" "♪ There's Escanaba, I can see Montreal" "♪ No, I've never been so happy" "♪ Climbing up a rock climbing wall ♪"