"Russula emetica!" "Are you casting a spell?" "Common name, the Sickener." "Sounds delicious." "Oh, we can't eat this." "I only wanted something to put in my pie," "I wasn't planning to spend the morning traipsing around after you." "So I am going to go to the grocer's to buy some mushrooms." "Look." "What's wrong?" "It's... it's a head." "I think you should stay here." "Please stay away." "Please stay back." "I just want to offer my prayers for the deceased." "The branch was blocking the road at head height." "He hit it at speed." "It'll only take a few minutes." "I'm afraid not." "BELLS RING" "I am so sorry for your loss." "Alexander said he'd always be there for me." "And he still is, Ian." "Just... in a different way." "Now, you're going to have to be very brave today." "I need to see him." "Mrs Moore." "I think that it is best that you remember him as he was." "SHE GROANS" "SHE WEEPS" "I'm sorry." "Alexander Moore was a popular young man, a regular member of this congregation." "He worked hard in the family business, rising early to bake fresh bread." "His delicious Chelsea buns were responsible for many a guilty glance in the mirror." "MURMUR OF LAUGHTER" "His mother, Ruth would like to say a few words." "Alexan..." "My Alexander was the perfect older brother to Ian." "He was..." "Get out." "Get him out." "Oh, dear God, no." "Get out!" "Get away from here!" "Mr Blackstone." "I'm sorry." "I only wanted to offer my condolences." "We commend our brother to the Lord." "May He embrace him in His peace and bring his body to life again on the last day." " Amen." " Amen." "Where have you been?" "Just in the village." "It's quiet out, lots of people have gone to the funeral." "I know." "You didn't?" "I simply went to pay my respects." "Did she cause a scene?" "She'll have the police round." "I haven't done anything wrong." "You provoked her." "After the lies she told about your mother, she deserves all she gets." "You're better than that." "You need to eat something." "If you want to talk about anything come and find me." "Even if it's the middle of the night." "VEHICLE PASSES" "Guess." "Bad luck." "Maybe next time, though, we could add some money into the equation, make it a little bit more interesting?" "It's already quite interesting enough, thank you very much." "But I do admire your sleight of hand." "What's happened?" "You'd better come and see." "And this is the lad who lost his head on Tuesday?" "Yes." "Not been his week, has it?" "It's not a laughing matter." "Have some tea." "Thank you." "I apologise... but this is an unspeakable crime." "People are laid to REST in this church." "Let's treat this with the respect it deserves." "Absolutely, Padre." "Could it be grave robbers?" "No." "That vile practice died out in the last century." "I heard the mother had an outburst at the funeral?" "Ruth Moore and Peter Blackstone have been at each other's throats for as long as anyone can remember." "He's the undertaker?" "Yes." "But he didn't do this burial, for obvious reasons." "What's their problem with each other?" "No-one knows any more." "Or much cares." "I'd best go and let the mother know what's happened." "Inspector, I wondered if I might be permitted to break the news to her?" "She is part of our congregation." "Be my guest." "I'll talk to her once she's calmed down." "Oh, you're all heart." "Might take me a while to find a vehicle to move the coffin." "In the meantime, if there's anything else make sure I'm the first to know." "As always, Inspector." "What happens if this is just the beginning?" "If whoever did this comes back another night?" "I'm sure those Blackstones are involved." "That girl was smiling when she saw the accident." "Doesn't prove anything." "Oh, so she just happened to be passing?" "Perhaps." "Sid, can you find somewhere discreet to store the coffin?" "And see what you can find out about the Blackstones." "Don't talk to them yet, just have a nose about." "There's something unpleasant going on here." "I've let you down." "No, I don't blame you." "You don't have to, he blames himself." "I think we all know who did this." "Please, Ruth." "There's only one person who hates my family enough to do something so unspeakable." "It may be coincidence that it was Alexander's body that they, erm, they took." "The soil was freshly turned, it would be the easiest grave to dig." "How will you manage in the bakery?" "It'll be hard." "We were losing money as it was, and I didn't have to pay Alexander the going rate." "If you find yourself short, the Parish Committee may be able to help." "We have a small fund..." "I don't need charity." "Thank you." "I just wanted you to know it's there, if you need it." "We should be able to manage." "Alexander had taken out a life insurance policy." "Oh, that was... fortunate." "He always felt a duty to look after us after my husband died." "It won't be much but... but it should be enough to tide us over until I can... work out..." "I'm sorry, I feel very hot." "I need to get some air." "We'll leave you in peace." "I promise to get to the bottom of this." "You mustn't wait for me like this, all right?" "Do you understand?" " Why?" " Listen to me you mustn't wait for me." "It's best if you keep away from me." "It's Ian, isn't it?" "Sidney." "Sorry to hear about your brother." "They all talk like he's dead, but he's not." "You what?" "He came back." "Back?" "Back to life?" "He wants to be with his girlfriend." "You sure you're not mistaken?" "I'm not a liar!" "Peter!" "Peter Blackstone!" "Come out here." "Tell me how you could do this." "Do you know what he did?" "That father of yours." "He hasn't done anything." "He dug up my boy!" "Ruth, go home." "Is this where you took him?" "Catherine." "Yes, run and hide." "Ruth." "You can't talk to her when she's like that." "It doesn't achieve anything." "Did you hear what she was accusing me of?" "The very thought!" "DOOR OPENS" "Hello?" " Now what?" " I'll go." "Who died?" "Nobody." "SHE SCREAMS" "What have you done?" "Nothing." "Please." "He hasn't done anything wrong." "I telephoned you myself as soon as we discovered the body." " Didn't I, Father?" " Take him to the station." "Don't go far." "Catherine, Mrs McCarthy said she saw you in the woods, when Alexander had his accident." "I don't know what you're talking about." "I should find a quieter patch - like the centre of Glasgow." "Inspector, there's a slight problem." "Now what?" "You have got to be kidding me." "Thank you for coming, Lady Felicia." " Ah." " You really do prepare for the worst, don't you?" "Sid was supposed to store it somewhere discreet." "Shall we?" "I'm not sure I can relax with that thing looming over me." "I'll get Sid to move it later." "Any luck with Doctor Harris?" "No." "He wouldn't take my telephone calls, and then when I went round to the surgery the receptionist pretended he had left for the day." "What has Dr Harris got to do with this?" "He was in the woods when Alexander had his accident." "For now we have a more pressing problem - the security of the graveyard." "We have to allow for the possibility that what happened to Alexander was not an isolated incident." "I've drawn up the rota for guard duty." "You expect us to camp out in the graveyard all night?" "I wouldn't ask you to do anything I'm not prepared to do myself." "I care about this community, even if nobody else does." "Oh, I don't mind mucking in." "Dunkirk spirit, and all of that." "Actually, it could be terrific research." "For what?" "I've never written a ghost story before." "On behalf of the world, I'd like to thank you for that." "I can see it now - The Phantom And The Farmer." "The tragic tale of the ghost of a princess who falls in love with a humble dairy farmer." " You shouldn't joke about such things." " Farmers?" " Ghosts." " People enjoy a spooky story." "It gives them hope." "That you'll stop writing books?" "That they'll see the people that they love again." "That death isn't the end." "It isn't." "I notice that you've taken the earlier slot, while it's still light." "It was random." "So you won't mind swapping for 3am?" "Please!" "I don't want anyone out there alone." "If somebody comes back it would be dangerous to confront them." "We'll all be there together." "Isn't that a little over-zealous?" "I've already let one family down." "I don't want the same thing to happen to another." "I have no idea how it got there." "Perhaps you should ask Ruth Moore?" "Why?" "There's no depth that woman won't sink to." "She once paid someone to try and seduce my daughter then brag about it." "Fortunately, Catherine saw through him." "What sort of idiots do you take us for?" "Did you think we wouldn't notice?" "I don't know what you mean." "The body." "What about it?" "If their parents knew that they were courting, they'd be furious." "Though, if you think about it, maybe he made it all up." "Who knows what's going on in the poor kid's head?" "He's away with the fairies at the best of times." "Anyway, now I've moved the coffin, am I done?" "Er, yes." "But I would appreciate your help this evening." "No can do, I'm afraid." "Promised to help out at the Red Lion." "Oh." "I've given my word." "You know me, Father, I'd never break that under any circumstances." "Well, I'll have to have a word with Mrs McCarthy, but, what if I offered a week of free meals for your efforts?" "Hot meals?" "Yes." "All lovingly home cooked." "Deal." "Excellent." "You know I can't resist Mrs M's pies." "I'll see what I can do." "Anything to report, McCarthy?" "SHE GASPS" "OWL HOOTS" "HE IMITATES AN OWL HOOT" "Do you think it was Felicia?" "It was probably just another owl." "Perhaps not the best choice of night-time recognition signals." "Come on." "Lady Felicia?" "Lady F..." "Who disturbs me?" "Hold that thought!" "How does it feel to be threatened by a spirit from beyond?" "This is a place of rest, not your-your personal playground." "Quickly, before the fear passes." "Describe it to me." "I was not afraid!" "RATTLING" "What was that?" "What?" "Oh, probably just another one of your ridiculous stunts?" "I'm standing right here." "Um..." "Stay close." "Follow me." "RATTLING" "STONES RATTLE" "What's going on?" "Come on, here it is!" "OK?" "LIGHTER CLICKS Can I help you, fellas?" "STONES RATTLE" "STONES RATTLE" "Ah, hardly the most sophisticated diversion, but I suppose you weren't expecting company." "Father!" "Father!" "Let me go!" "No, please don't hurt me!" "They've got away." "Not to worry." "They were familiar faces - the undertakers from Alexander's funeral." "And what were you doing here?" " They were after the coffin." " Really?" "Why?" "HE GROANS" "Sid, Sid!" "We don't do things like that." "Thank you." "Oh, don't think you're going anywhere until you've told us exactly what you were doing here." "I, well, um..." "I've done a terrible thing." "And what was that?" "I falsified the death certificate." "Alexander Moore." "Why?" "I had to." "Catherine didn't give me a choice." "Oh." "What is it?" "You can go." "The law will punish you." "What did you do that for?" "Well, everything we needed was right before our eyes." "What we saw in the woods, and at the funeral, it was all theatre." "Alexander wasn't dead." "We buried an empty coffin." "What are you doing?" "Getting Alexander's things for him." "Stop it." "He'll need them." "He won't, Ian." "He's dead." "Put it back." "He's gone!" "I'm sorry." "I didn't mean to upset you." "Ian!" "KNOCK ON DOOR" "Mrs Moore?" "I need to talk to you." "What is it?" "Well, the good news is we found your son's body." "I've just been trying to clarify what happened." "Where was he?" "Peter Blackstone's workshop." "I knew it." "If the police had listened all those times he harassed me, this would never would have happened." "There's something else." "I don't really know how to say this." "His head's back on." "Before the Mass," "Ruth and I opened the lid and saw Alexander's body." "SID GROANS" " Behave!" " Sorry." "Then, I closed the lid." "Are you all right in there?" "Hurry up, it's dark!" "I don't like it!" "Then we said a mass for the dead." "Meanwhile..." "Sid?" "Give me a minute." "Ah, ladies!" "Do take a seat." "COFFIN RATTLES" "BOTH SCREAM" "Don't worry, it's only Sid." "LAUGHS:" "It's only me!" "What on earth are you doing in there?" "Well, I couldn't find the catch." "Catch?" "Ready for another try?" "These dinners you promised me better be good." "What we saw in the woods was just an attempt to make credible witnesses for Alexander's death." "We saw a body." "Not at close quarters." "We could have seen a mannequin and an empty helmet." "You saw Alexander at the funeral." "Only for a few seconds and the undertakers choreographed it so that Ruth would not be alone with the body." "MUFFLED:" "Do you maybe want to have this conversation when I'm not suffocating?" "If you don't talk, Sid, you use less oxygen." "You ready this time?" "Go!" "Oof - that hurt." "It was hinged." "All Alexander had to do was wait underneath the cloth until the undertakers took the coffin outside." "Then he could escape unseen." "But why would he do all of this?" "The question is, what went wrong?" "Between the sham funeral and the following morning," "Alexander did die." "The good news is that I believe that our graveyard is free from further interference." "And what's the bad news?" "There's a killer on the loose." "Please." "Would you like a drink?" "No, thank you." "Bit early, even for me." "I'm worried about my father." "Of course." "I keep thinking about your reaction when you saw Alexander's body." "I was shocked." "More than that." "You recoiled when you touched his skin." "You didn't expect it to be cold." "You thought he was still alive." "After all, you knew that the funeral was a sham." "What are you accusing me of?" "Falling in love." "It must have been very hard for you, hiding your feelings for him." "And then seeing him, like that." "It was like someone had sucked all the air out of the room." "This terrible thing was happening right in front of me, and then suddenly the police were blaming Father." "It wasn't fair." "What were you and Alexander going to do after the funeral?" "I'm moving to London in a month to train as a nurse." "Alexander was going to meet me there." "You know, leave this stupid feud behind us." "Alexander felt guilty, especially about leaving Ian." "But he loved you more." "At least this way, with the insurance, he could make sure they were properly looked after." "How did you persuade Dr Harris and the undertakers to help you?" "Oh, I know all about Dr Harris and his wandering hands." "But his wife doesn't." "I see." "He paid the undertakers on our behalf." "Did you see Alexander after the funeral?" "No." "I waited till the morning, but... he never showed up." "So you were here all the time?" "Not at first." "I was getting ready to go downstairs when I saw his brother out of the window." "I didn't have the heart to leave him." "He'd seen Alexander in the street." "Ian had run out after Alexander but he had already gone." "When I spoke to him, he actually thought his brother had come back from the dead." "Poor boy." "What did you say to him?" "I couldn't tell him the truth, could I?" "It would have ruined everything." "I told him that he was right." "That Alexander had come back from the dead to be with me." "That if he wanted Alexander to be happy, he'd have to keep it a secret." "HE SIGHS" "I'm afraid he didn't keep his part of THAT bargain." "I know." "I'm sorry." "It's not me you should be apologising to." "Have you any idea why your father hates Mrs Moore so much?" "No, he won't talk about it." "He only says that everything would have been easier if she'd never been born." "Here she is." "Her date of birth, and..." "What?" "Look at that." "Have you come to read me my last rites?" "I know Ruth Moore is your sister." "Is this a joke?" "Let's not play games." "Mrs McCarthy has checked the Parish Records." "Is this what it's about, all these years?" "Our parents couldn't afford to keep more than one child and they wanted someone to take over the family business." "A son." "They gave her away." "I can just about remember Mother being pregnant, but there was never a baby." "I was very young, I don't think I understood what had happened." "When did you find out the truth?" "Not until after we were adults." "My parents had died by then." "Ruth had managed to trace me." "She came to tell me that the family who adopted her had been... unkind." "And she blamed you for that?" "I was a child when they gave her away." "It wasn't my responsibility." "What did you say when she came to you?" "She... wanted a share of my inheritance." "I had my own family to think of by then," "I couldn't let her interfere with our livelihood." "You turned her away?" "I...hoped she'd leave Kembleford, start over somewhere new." "But she stayed here, to spite me." "From that day, she's been a constant thorn in my side." "Did you know Alexander and Catherine were having a sexual relationship?" "That can't be." "They're..." "Cousins." "Yes." "How could they?" "Because they didn't know." "Because their parents preferred to live surrounded by lies." "I have come here to PLEAD with you to END this." "Sergeant!" "We're finished here." "DOOR LOCK RATTLES" "Hello, Ian." "What are you doing here?" "Sid told me that you saw your brother after his funeral." "I've been waiting for Alexander to come back again." "He hasn't yet." "I brought his things." "He might need them." "That's very thoughtful of you." "What did you bring him?" "Clothes, books." "His watch." "WATCH CHAIN RATTLES" "Can I see?" "Where did you find his watch?" "Mother had it in her bedroom." "It must have been frightening, seeing Alexander." "No." "He's my brother." "Ian..." "Alexander won't be coming back again." "They said he was dead the other night, but they were wrong." "I checked." "How did you check?" "I thought I might be imagining things, so I had to make sure." "Ian, did you dig up your brother's grave?" "The coffin was empty." "He'd already risen up." "What I saw was real." "It must have taken you hours." "Am I in trouble?" "No." "YOU haven't done anything wrong." "Catherine didn't tell you the whole story." "She lied to me?" "Yes." "Ian, wait, please." "My son paid his premiums." "You have to honour it..." "Listen to me, we need this money." "I have another son, he needs food, clothes." "My business will not support us..." "I don't care what the police said." "There was nothing suspicious..." "My son died." "Isn't that enough for you?" "Don't you think my family have suffered enough?" "Wait, I don't have any more coins..." "Wait, please." "LINE GOES DEAD" "Please..." "BANGING ON DOOR" "SHE GASPS" "The priest said you lied to me." "Is that true?" "BANGING" "HISSING" "You put the idea in my head and I made up a story." "A silly ghost story." "But I saw him." "We were going to run away together, that was real." "But Alexander was still alive." "There was a funeral." "They buried an empty box." "It was a trick." "But then..." "He died for real." "I'm so sorry." "HE SOBS" "Sh..." "Sh." "Ian." "Oh." "Keep back." "It's filling with gas." "Why, Ruth?" "The insurance firm won't pay out." "I'm going to lose everything and it's all his fault!" "This conflict has already cost one life." "Let it stop now." "Why?" "I'm already damned." "It's never too late to ask for forgiveness." "And I know that you are carrying a great burden." "What, what burden?" "You're responsible for Alexander's death." "No." "He was buried wearing his pocket watch." "Then when we found the body again, it was missing." "Ian took it from your bedroom this morning." "The only way that you could have had it was if you saw Alexander after the funeral." "Put the matches away." "I think death might be a release!" "Is this where it happened?" "Alexander's body was found in the workshop, but I don't think you were strong enough to have carried it far, so it must have happened nearby." "I didn't mean to hurt him." "I believe that." "At first, I thought I was going mad." "What are you?" "It's me." "Just me." "See?" "Flesh and blood." "How did you find me?" "I was looking for Ian, I saw you in the street." "We had to do it this way, so you wouldn't know." "I'm sorry." "You wanted to get away from me?" "I do love you, Mother." "What do you mean "we"?" "Not her." "Please." "I love her." "Not her." "You can't." "I don't know what your problem with her father is, but we've had enough of it." " She's your cousin." "What?" "You're related." "Too closely related." "You see now?" "What would people think?" "We'd be outcasts." "Come back home." "We'll make it right." "Just keep away from her." "Ian will be so pleased to see you." "Alexander?" "I'm not coming." "I'm meant to be with her." "Don't say that!" "It's true." "This can't happen." "Not now you know the truth." "Mother, I don't care." "HE SCREAMS" "SHE SCREAMS" "Why did you take his pocket watch?" "It was a present for Alexander's 18th birthday." "He cherished it, he always carried it on him." "What else do I have of him now?" "Your memories." "You have to believe me, this whole thing was an accident." "Perhaps his death was, but then you tried to frame Peter for his murder." "THAT was deliberate." "Do you know what he did, that father of yours?" "He hasn't done anything." "He dug up my boy!" "This whole feud is Peter's fault." "I just wanted to be accepted by the family." "MY family!" "Do you know that Ian spent the whole night digging up his brother's grave because he couldn't bear to be parted from him?" "What?" "No!" "If you light that match we will die, and then what will happen to Ian when he's lost his mother and his brother?" "Move away." "If there's anyone in the house, come out." "It's not safe." "DOOR OPENS" "Ian!" "SHE SOBS" "I've done a terrible thing." "And I blamed you for it." "I'm sorry." "It was me." "I left Alexander's body in your workshop." "I wanted to see you blamed for it." "Is this a trick?" "Some way to get money from me?" "I don't care about your damn money!" "This whole thing started because you wanted to try and stake a claim on my inheritance." "No!" "I only ever wanted a family." "MY family." "You turned me away!" "I'm going to tell the police my story, but I think you should hear it first." "'Did you tell him everything?" "'" "Yes." "And things have changed." "How?" "He's..." "He's going to try and help me keep afloat." "Get my business back to the way it used to be." "I thought you'd have more to talk about than money." "Peter is going to tell the police that he found Alexander at the bottom of the stairs." "Panicked and tried to hide the body." "So he'll take the blame for you?" "The police can't prove anyone else was there when Alexander fell." "He could have just been meddling where he shouldn't have been." "I realise you know the truth." "All I can do is beg you to keep it to yourself." "Peter isn't going to lie for my sake, it's for Ian." "He doesn't want him to grow up without his mother." "Father?" "I can only follow my conscience, and I think that someone needs to give your family a chance to heal its wounds." "Thank you." "Thank you." ""The princess knew that love could overcome even death," ""but would the dairy farmer..." ""would the dairy farmer ever notice her?" ""He was a man of simple tastes," ""more used to the company of cows than royalty."" "I envy him." "Right, I'll be off." "Sorry?" "Where are you going?" "Home." "I've got this lovely chicken and mushroom pie waiting for me." " Yum, yum." " Hang about." "What about mine?" "Doesn't anybody want to know how it ends?" "Perhaps it's best listened to in instalments." "Like Dickens." "You may be right." "It is a very intense tale." "Sorry, where's my supper?" "It's nearly ready." "I'm dining Chez Westwoods." "Bon appetit." "Au revoir." "Shall we see how it's going?" "This is not what we agreed." "Free meals every day for a week." "FATHER BROWN COUGHS" "Is that done?" "Only..." "I don't really know." "Not to worry." "I'll get the hang of it by the end of the week."