"[ thunder crashes ] [laughsevilly] [ sawing ]" "[ electricity crackles ] it'salive!" "[ thunder crashes ] [laughsevilly] [ smooch!" "] [ laughs evilly ] ifyoubuildit, hewill  come." "there." "Allfinished." "I built it." "[moaningpassionately] ahhhhh." "Yeah." "Thank you." "tonighton"wifeswap,"meet  rebecca glint -- stay-at-home" "Mother of five, married to a factory worker." "Meet sue storm -- member of the fantastic four, constantly" "Balancing work and her marriage to mr." "Fantastic." "Find out how two different women handle having their lives" "Flipped upside down in "wife swap"!" "Ihaveto makedinnerevery night?" "Oh, wow." "What did I sign up for?" "let'scheckin on rebecca." "die,pitifulfools!" "nottoday,doom!" "[bleep]no!" "I call bad swap!" "Aah!" "oh,shit!" "andbackat theglinthouse," "Sue was starting to connect with the kids." "oh,cooooool!" "[ telephone rings ] yello?" "Yes, this is her husband." "She -- she what?" "No." "Oh, god, no." "No, no... howcouldyouallowthis to happen?" "itwasapartoftheshow's  premise." "What was I supposed to do?" "oh,I don'tknow." "Maybe not pit a housewife against the power of doom?" "meanwhile,suewasstarting to gain some perspective." "ahusbandthatdoesn'thelp  clean the dishes?" "How does rebecca do it?" "[ all crying ] aftertwolongdays,itwas time to go back to their normal" "Lives but not without learning a few things." "I'lltellyouone thing,I now appreciate a husband that'll" "Wash the dishes." "guilty!" "rebecca'shusbandrefusedto take part in the follow-up" "Interview." "andnowthefirstpersonto" "Ever get tired." "oh,no." "Oh, no, I'm dying!" "I'm dying... [ yawns ] I'm dying." "[ moaning ] oh." "Oh, cool." "wearetheguardians!" "Tooth fairy, easter bunny, sandman." "We will exist as long as the children of the world believe" "In us!" "oh,no!" "You've betrayed me, children!" "huh." "Guess that's about right." "Santa, who's that?" "oh,thisis zwartepiet." "He's a widely celebrated figure" "In the netherlands." "And my servant." "indutch,zwartemeansblack!" "My name is black pete!" "that'shorrible." "kidsandparentsinthe" "Netherlands dress up as me in blackface on christmas!" "In 2014!" "Look it up!" "santa,areyouaracist?" "what?" "I just believe in tradition." "yep,that'swhataracist" "Would say." "yeah,you'reabsolutelya" "Racist." "[sighs]" "The dutch really need to get their shit together." "wehavelegalweed!" "sodoescolorado,but they" "Don't force kids into blackface!" "yousurethesenew barracks" "Are fit for the barnyard commandos," "Private side o'bacon?" "yes,sir,generallardo." "It's where our new farmer, tyson foods, told us to report." "Oh, you bastards!" "At least give me a soldier's" "Dea-- ohh!" "yousureyouwanttodo a" "Movie, tiger?" "Iwantto be belovedagain," "Like before I had sex with all those waitresses from ihop." "Jordan did "space jam." I want my "space jam."" "well,studiosaren'tlining up to lend their characters to a" "Tiger woods movie." "Everyone aggressively passed" "Except dic, but I cannot recommend that " "♪welcometo thegolfjam♪  timeforaday ofplaying" "Golf and being faithful to my girlfriend." "Wha-- wh-o-o-o-o-o-o-oa!" "Ow!" "welcometodic-land,tiger." "why,hi,garfield." "I'mheathcliff." "I'm more romantic and have an accent." "thisiscleo." "weneedyourhelp,tiger." "Iwantto putmypenisin you." "I mean, I love my girlfriend." "webroughtyouherebecause" "The evil dorkpucks challenged us to a game of golf." "Iwantto humpyourface ." "I mean, help your face -- help" "You -- I will help you." "let'steeoff,dic-heads!" "ifyousinkthisputt ,we win!" "wishmeluck,bobbybrown." "bobbybrown?" "I'm hammerman!" "I'm m.C. Hammer, except not, and" "I have magic shoes." "youknow,Idon 'tevenknow" "If I want to save you dics." "You're just uninspired rehashes" "Of good ideas." "Seriously, how cheap is dic?" "This is a movie, and you all look like you were drawn on a" "Napkin." "winthegameand I'llblow" "You." "[ cheers and applause ]" "♪everybodyteeoff ♪ ♪ get a club in your hands ♪" "♪ charisma-free sex addict ♪ ♪ saving' dic-land ♪" "♪ welcome to the golf jam ♪ thankyou,housestark,for" "Agreeing to the wedding of edmure and roslin." "wow!" "Thisis great!" "This is my first gig with you" "Guys and we're playing for walder frey and robb stark!" "nextup,"therainsof castamere."" "isn'tthatkindofa downer?" "It's like, "congrats on your" "Marriage." "Here's a song about the" "Lannisters slaughtering their enemies."" "justbegladtheydidn 't request "the chicken dance."" "1, 2, 3, 4." "[ "the rains of castamere"" "Plays ] [ music stops ]" "Iowemy newqueenawedding gift." "aw,that'ssweet." "aah!" "Aah!" "holylordof [bleep]light!" "You're archers?" "!" "I thought you were all about the music, man!" "What are you doing?" "!" "Those people could book us for" "Future gigs!" "Think about word of mouth!" "Okay." "Okay, jaxon." "That's the thing about playing" "Weddings." "Always be ready to adapt the" "Set." "How do you play this thing?" "aah!" "thatwastheman who hired" "Us." "we'retakingfive!" "skycommanderrexkling, locked and ready to protect the" "High frontier!" "yousurethatangleissteep" "Enough for proper velocity?" "No offense, but your jumpsuit is" "Starting to look like cheap sausage casing." "yoursisterdoesn'tthinkso." "I'manonlychild,fatguy." "thensamething,but with your mom." "Yeehaw!" "Sky commanding your mom!" "Little help?" "Maybe send another sky commander" "Down the line to give me a push?" "Okay, heh." "Another three sky commanders?" "Ooh!" "A rescue pack!" "Fat-free snackwells?" "Ha ha." "Real funny, guys!" "But the joke's on you!" "I love snackw-- damn it!" "Oh, this just isn't my day." "Aaaaaaaaah!" "I'mgladwe 'recheckingout" "This new pirate-themed restaurant." "[ indistinct shouting ] we'llreturnyourkidsfor" "$1 million!" "Try the fish." "thesomalianpirates!" "So cool!" "murphy,everyofficerneeds to do community outreach." "Now you're in charge of midland elementary's d.A.R.E." "Program." "copy." "Did every student receive a worksheet?" "together:" "Yes,officer murphy." "druguseis --  you do not have a worksheet." "shecanhavemine." "nowyoudo nothavea" "Worksheet." "Every student must have a" "Worksheet." "My instructor's kit contains" "Additional worksheets." "Now every student has a" "Worksheet." "stopsaying"worksheet"!" "thisisaworksheet." "Since I am holding a worksheet," "That means one student is without a worksheet." "I'mdone!" "negative." "Your worksheet must be completed after the presentation." "Invalid worksheet." "You require a new worksheet." "Is that a worksheet?" "This is a worksheet." "Another student is without a worksheet." "Who is currently without a worksheet?" "oh,mygod!" "I will pay you to stop saying" "Worksheet!" "murphy,howwasyourfirst" "Day?" "allthosekidsstartedusing" "Drugs." "bloodymary." "Bloody mary." "Bloody mary." "ooooooh!" "Let me try!" "Candyman!" "Candyman!" "Candyman!" "geta loadof this." "Beetlejuice, beetlejuice, beetlejuice!" "yeah!" "Oh, yeah, you really wanna" "See something'?" "God!" "God!" "God!" "See?" "That's what I've been sayin'!" "That is what I been sayin'!" "guesswholosttheir" "Butt-virginity at traci's party last night!" "yasmin!" "I texted you that in secret!" "oh,mygosh,guys!" "Trevor just sent me a pic!" "ofhisdreamyeyes?" "ofhisdreamyabs ?" "oftakingjade's butt-virginity." "uh,whothe[bleep]is driving right now?" "noidea." "together:" "Sasha!" "[ all screaming ] o-m-f-g,guys,we killed" "Somebody's grandma!" "Ithinkit 'sbarbie." "thebratzkilledbarbie?" "andnotjustwithmarket" "Share this time." "Hey-o!" "truethat." "goodone." "wegotto hidethe body,you guys." "welcometoyournew dream house." "restinpeace,bitch see ya." "[ tires screeching ]" "don'tforgetto takeyour medication!" "I'll never understand why you girls infected yourselves with" "Encephalitis!" "becausefreakishlylarge" "Heads are sexy, mom!" "Duh!" "No!" "Nooooo!" "Aah!" "[laughsevilly] myencephalitis!" "I need my medication!" "I need m-- guessI blewhermind!" "Oh!" "Oh, crap!" "I'm definitely going to be sick." "cool!" "Newtattoos." ""you only live once." that's deep." "let'stestthattheory, bitch." "ohh!" "Ow!" "[ slurring ] what did you do to me?" "Iextractedeveryounceof ass fat from that wang warmer" "You call a mouth!" "noooo!" "Muhlips!" "huh." "Actually, you look way better," "Like a real human girl." "I'mugly!" "Aah!" "[ body thuds ] huh." "Sixof one." "[ doorbell rings ] hello?" "what?" "I ran out of ideas." "barbie'sbodyis gone!" "She's not dead!" "She's taking her revenge!" "What are you waiting for, you" "Old pink bitch?" "!" "[ tires screeching ] coulditbe ?" "Monster high has killed bratz" "The same way bratz once killed barbie?" "Poetic justice!" "[ laughs ] draculaura?" "But..." "I thought..." "The killer..." "Was barbie." "Her body... barbie?" "You're at the wrong mile marker." "Barbie's body is up there." "[ bears growling, grunting ] please..." "I'llgiveyou anything." "sillybratz." "I've already taken everything" "You have." "except..." "Mybutt-virginity." "maestro,I 'mgonnaneeda little butt-virginity music." "♪everybodyteeoff ♪ ♪ get a club in your hands ♪" "♪ charisma-free sex addict ♪ ♪ saving' dic-land ♪" "♪ welcome to the golf jam ♪" "aah!"