"I'm offered two and six for this handsome trophy." "Do I hear another bid?" "It's going for two and six to the party in the cheque scarf." "Next, lot 177." "What have we here?" "One mother-of-pearl box, inlaid, containing a fan." "Here's a beauty for you!" "Regency period, Alençon lace mounted on carved ivory sticks." "Absolutely perfect condition." "You'd never know that Jerry had dropped his filthy bombs near it." "What am I bid for this veritable treasure?" "Wallington Limited." "There it is, right there." "The stamp of one of England's most refined jewellers." "This of a noble lady, all done up in her silks and her settings that must have held this in her delicate hands or waved it at her noble lord." "Oh, here's a name on it." "Margaret." "Now there's a real lady's name for you." "Come up, come up." "Don't be frightened of the aristocracy." "This here is more than an object of beauty." "It's genuine necessity, it's what every English home needs this winter." "Something to set up a nice cool breeze." " Twelve shillings." " Fifteen." " Eighteen." " Eighteen shillings?" "I'm an auctioneer, not Father Christmas." "Who will give a proper bid?" " Young man." " How much, madam?" "I have no intention of biding." "Why should I?" "It's my own fan." "Madam, this here is a piece of unclaimed property salvaged from blitz buildings to be publicly sold." "Well, it isn't any more because I'm claiming it now." "You should have thought of that sooner, madam." "These lots have been on view for the past month." "Come on, I made a bid of 18 shillings." "All right, 18 shillings for the gentleman with the big heart." "Do I hear a pound?" "Whatever are talking about?" "The fan is mine." "You really can't stand there selling things that don't belong to you, you know?" " How do I know the fan is yours?" " Well, I..." "I told you so." " Oh, come off it, madam." " I shall be delighted to have it back." "It's been stored at Edwards's for years while I've been travelling." "That's right, you know." "There was a direct hit on Edwards's." "Come on, we haven't got all day." "Madam, can you furnish any proof of ownership?" " Have you got a bill for this fan?" " Of course not, it was a gift." "You'll find me always cheerful and willing to oblige." "I'll put the fan aside for a day." "If you bring in someone who knows you and knows it's yours, you can have it." "That's quite absurd." "Everyone I once knew in London must be dead by now." "Sorry, madam, but you must find someone to establish proof." "Madam, would you fill in this form, please?" "That is the law." "I'm sure it is - it's quite inconvenient enough to be." "Next..." "Would you be good enough to tell me, is Lord Darlington still alive?" " He sure is." " Oh, you're an American." "I spent many years in your stimulating country." "I get along very well with Americans." "After you've married one or two of them, they don't seem like foreigners at all." " Does Lord Darlington live here?" " Oh yes, we all do." "Oh, how picturesque." "This is the drawing room." "There is the dining room." "There's the chandelier." "And there is the painting over the fireplace." "And you, young ladies, you are perhaps, um... descendants?" "I hadn't known that Lord Darlington had ever visited America." "Oh no, we just rent our rooms here." "Oh, forgive me." "I've been away for so long." "It's rather startling to find Lord Darlington letting lodgings." "Don't you know there's a housing shortage?" "This is an office now." "And just what office is this?" "We work for an organisation in the States that sends food to people here." "I knew you were nice girls the moment I laid eyes on you." "And does Lord Darlington have an office here too?" "Oh no, his rooms are the way they always were." "Poor old guy, how could he live any other way?" "He's a museum piece." "A museum piece?" "My dears, Lord Darlington was once the most dangerous man in London." " Is he at home now?" " Oh, he only goes out at three." "Do you want to see him?" " Yes, please." " Sure." "Oh, who shall I say?" " Just tell him a very dear old enemy." " Okay." "(Knocks on door)" " Hi, sweet." " Good afternoon, my dear." "You're looking like a..." "No, not at all like a rose." "You're looking like an extremely healthy sunflower." "You know what?" "There's a lady waiting downstairs to see you." " Indeed?" "What is her name?" " She said she was a dear old enemy." "Extraordinary, I didn't know I had any of them left." "Hope she doesn't keep me too long." "Enemies' conversations are interminable - friends get it over in a minute." "This is the hour for my walk." "Here's your little gloves." "Here's your little cane." "Here's your little hat." "My dear, somehow I believe my accessories are the normal size." " There." "Are you okay now?" " I'm quite, as you say, okay." "Why, it is Lord Darlington!" "Don't you remember me, Robert?" "You must forgive me, madam, but I have such a wretched memory." "Of course." "At our age we remember only ourselves." "But, don't you?" "Can't you?" "Please make me young again by telling me your name." "(Door slams)" "Hey Cynthia, have you got what came down from Liverpool this morning?" "You cannot expect me to refresh my memory in this mad house," " so if you will pardon me..." " Pardon you?" "I'll do much better than that." "I'll accompany you." "Of course it was my vanity that made me think you'd recognise me today when yesterday was so very long ago." "Madam, I regret that I'm rather pressed for time, so if you'd be good enough to tell me who you are..." "Oh, come Robert." "Why don't you try and guess?" "I am sorry, but I have no fondness for games." "Good afternoon, m'lord." "Here it is, ready and waiting for you." " I'm a bit late today." " Oh, it's still fine and fresh, sir." "Who else but Robert Darlington would wear primroses in this day and age?" "Oh, you're quite perfect!" "That is perhaps debatable." "I haven't got time to argue it with you." "What is it you want of me, madam?" "A little attention, to begin with." "You might at least ask me how I am." "I never ask people that question." "They might tell me." "If it hadn't been for the fan, I wouldn't have dreamed of looking you up." "But those idiots say that I can't have it unless I bring in someone who knows me and knows about the fan." "What idiots?" "Bring in where?" "What fan?" "Why, Lady Windermere's fan!" "How do you know that name?" "That's one name you remember, isn't it Robert?" "Because you loved her." "No man ever loved her as you did, except her husband." "I think you've said enough." " And assumed entirely too much." " You wear them every day, don't you?" "She was so much like a primrose herself." "So fresh, so exquisite, so innocent." "Who would have thought that you and I would survive her and him?" "They went together, he and she, when the first bombs fell." "And that was best." "One could not live without the other." "I saw their graves." "There were primroses on hers." " Please..." " You see, I loved her too." "And so I was glad that you could not have your wish." "That you could not destroy the happiness of her marriage." "I will not have you speak to me this way." "I have never seen you before, I do not know you and I have no wish to." "Indeed, you have seen me before." "I can show you the place where you first saw me." "This shop!" " Television?" " It was once Wallington's, the jewellers." " That was before the First World War." " It was before the Boer War." "It was on a beautiful spring day, but it was not a very happy day for me." "I had no money left, simply no money at all." "'In my hotel suite, the bills were piled like snow drifts." "'I'd known other times like it before 'but it's curious how one never gets used to destitution." "'That day, I'd come to Wallington's to sell my sapphire earrings.'" "Pardon me, gentlemen." "May I fetch someone to serve you, madam?" "No thank you, not yet." "I, um..." "I want to look at your charming frivolities." "Every thread of the Alençon lace is perfect and the design is extraordinarily delicate." "She must have it, Arthur." "Yes, I think she will be delighted with it." "I'm glad you told me about this, Cecil." "It's the perfect tribute to an enchanting wife from an enchanted husband." "Really, Cecil." "What a salesman you would have made." "What a salesman you make!" "If I may say so, Lord Windermere, you're wise to be guided by Mr Graham." "His taste is faultless." "(Cecil) Robert, the only way a poor man can indulge his taste is by selling it." "(Robert) Your wit is improving, Cecil." "I'm entirely persuaded." "I shall take the fan." "You should have your wife's name on the fan to make it more personal." "A most thoughtful touch." " How would you do that?" " Something very delicate..." "Rubies." "An exquisite tracery of rubies." " That's it." " Excellent." "Her name is Margaret." " And her birthday should be on it too." " Very good." "It's the 24th of April and be sure to have it done in time." " She'll want it at her birthday ball." " It will be finished in ample time." " Good afternoon then." " Good day." " May I be of service, madam?" " Lord Windermere is mistaken." "Lady Windermere's birthday is the 21 st of April." " Lord Windermere said the 24th." " I just told you he was mistaken." "You must remind him that he is wrong as soon as possible." "Certainly." "If you say so, madam." "But I can't help thinking that Lord Windermere would know better than anybody." "Not better than anybody." "Her birthday is the 21 st." "Oh, I'm sorry." "I came to see Wallington for a moment." "Of course I'll wait." "There's no need to." "I'm glad of a bit more time." "There are too many lovely things here for me to make up my mind quickly." "Thank you for your most altruistic indecision." "I think... my idea of having rubies on the fan should be worth ten pounds more." "I think five pounds is sufficient, Mr Graham." "I was going to bring in the Duchess of Berwick to see the emeralds." "Very well, ten pounds, Mr Graham." "Thank heavens, I remembered in time." "My wife's birthday isn't the 24th, it's the 21 st." "I already know, m'lord." "This lady was kind enough to inform me of the correct date." "I'm sorry, I couldn't help hearing." " I'm so glad you did, thank you." " Perhaps you wonder how I knew." "Well, my most innocent vice is reading the news of London society." "There's been so much about Lady Windermere's birthday ball on the 21 st." "Of course, the 24th is our wedding anniversary." "My memory is always in a state of confusion about dates." "I'm afraid it's even gone into a confused state about names." "You cannot blame your memory for something that was never in it." "My name is Mrs Erlynne, but you don't know me." " But I do know you, I'm sure." " No." "Perhaps, Lord Windermere, wishes that he did." " Oh, you came back too, Cecil." " Why, certainly!" "I thought of taking another look at some of Wallington's precious little trinkets." " I'm sure we have met." " No, Lord Windermere." "I'm positive." "There's something about you..." "I know this isn't the first time I've seen you." " And I hope it won't be the last." " I've just decided to stay in London." "They say it's a very small place." "I hope it's true." "How remarkable that we should meet again so soon, and in the same company." "I dare say you left a glove, Robert." " Of course." " But you've got both gloves on." "I carry a third glove to leave behind, then I can return and find out how my friends have been improving their opportunities behind my back." "They really don't deserve it, Mrs Erlynne, but let me present." "Lord Darlington, Mr Graham." "The two best dressed men in London." "But there is a difference between us, Mrs Erlynne." "You see, I live by my wits." "Lord Darlington is a much more usual type." "He lives on his money." "The witty so often undervalue the rich..." "and vice-versa." "The settings on my earrings are rather loose." "Will you have tightened, then send them over to me?" " To Mrs Erlynne, Albemarle Hotel." " Yes, madam." "Good afternoon." "(Elderly Mrs Erlynne) 'No, I didn't sell my earrings after all." "'It, shall we say, came over me 'that it was not going to be necessary to part with them." "'I knew one of you three men would solve my problem.'" "(?" "Barrel organ music)" "Is her ladyship at home, Dawson?" " Yes, m'lord, in the ballroom." " In the ballroom?" "Will you please get down before I have heart failure?" "I'm measuring how much garland I'll need for the decorating." "I greatly admire your slender white neck." "It would grieve me to see it broken." "Darling, I wasn't in the slightest danger." "But it is sweet of you to worry." "Purely selfish." "I'd hate to have anything happen to you." "We've been married nearly a year and I'm in the habit of having you for a wife." "Margaret, why won't you let people do things for you?" " Must you do everything yourself?" " I love it." "What's the hurry with the garlands?" "There's still three weeks before the ball." "I'm so excited." "I think I'm going to have the most beautiful birthday." "Your birthday is the greatest day of history for me." "Thank you so much for having been born." "(Door closes)" " Dawson?" " Yes, m'lady?" " Is the tea ready, Dawson?" " Yes, m'lady." "Would you bring it in?" "Here's a new offence." "You've been addressing these invitations yourself." " The secretary could have done it." " It's my birthday, it's my party." "They're my invitations and I love it this way." " Oh, what's Lord Darlington's address?" " Half Moon Street." " What number?" " Just Half Moon Street will reach him." " That will be all, Dawson." " Just London would for that matter." "You didn't show me the announcement of your birthday ball in the society news." "Why, there hasn't been any." "This is to be our own very small party." " Are you sure there was nothing?" " Quite." "I hate that sort of thing." "My aunt always said a lady should have her name in the papers only three times." "When she's born, when she's married and when she dies." "I was particularly careful to avoid any report of our ball." "Hmm, so there was nothing about the ball in the papers." "Yes, this was their house." "This was where they were happy." "My dear lady, you've painted a very pretty little picture of domestic bliss." "Arthur told me about it." "Now I'm supposed to imagine an intimate little supper with Windermere pouring out all his confidences as well as the champagne?" "Oh, no." "Nothing half so formal." "He told me on one of his visits." "As a matter of fact, he called on me at the Albemarle the very next afternoon." " Windermere, the model husband (!" ")" " Windermere, the model husband." "And you have accused ME of trying to destroy their marriage?" "I wanted to keep that marriage happy." "Madam, it does no good to stir up these things." "Dead scandals have earned the peace of their graves." "Here is where we really must part." " Good afternoon, m'lord." " I'm seven minutes late." "I was unavoidably detained by an absolutely unforeseen occurrence." "We are quite ready for you, m'lord." "(Lord Darlington) I cannot get used to this strange new world." "The streets of London are positively unsafe." "In broad daylight, one is badgered by all sorts of females full of memories." "One is literally pursued." "Thank you, Simpson." " May I be of service, madam?" " Lord Darlington is in there, isn't he?" " Really, madam, I..." " I want to talk to him at once." " This is most irregular, madam." " Madam, is there no place sacred?" "Not when I want something, and I want my fan, Robert." "I must ask you again..." "I've told madam this is unprecedented..." "Please leave us, we are very old friends." "Come along, Robert." "Come and verify my statement and then I can have my fan back." "I can verify nothing for you." "But of course you can when I help you to remember a little more." " Do smoke." " No thank you." " It may clear you memory." " No thank you, madam." "Please don't trouble, let me light it." " It's good of you to permit me to smoke." " Will you permit me?" "Do you enjoy it?" "Not a bit, but I enjoy the outraged looks on people's faces." " Including yours, Lord Windermere." " I'm not at all outraged, Mrs Erlynne." "I find your vices most fascinating." "For instance, I could find no reference to my wife's birthday in the in the society news." " I lie so clumsily." "I can't imagine your doing anything any way but gracefully." "You wonder, don't you, how I knew about your wife's birthday?" " Of course, I came here to ask you." " I'm indebted to your curiosity." "But you must let me stay clothed in mystery." "Mystery is a most important garment in the wardrobe of an adventuress." " Adventuress?" " Yes, does the word shock you?" "To me it only means one who loves adventure." "You must have had many of them." "In Paris, Constantinople, Cairo to Shanghai." "Oh yes, there were quite a few." "Although they were all of a certain sameness." "I'm ready for a different sort." "I've decided to try the most challenging of all." "The adventure of making a place for myself in London society." "A beautiful woman alone?" "The odds are against you." "Yes, a hundred to one." "But they're the kind of odds I prefer, don't you?" " You appeal to my sporting sense." " I know, I meant to." " How will you make you start?" " I thought you'd tell me that." " Well, be seen at the opera." " Splendid, I'm so fond of the opera." "The singing never interferes with the conversation." "May I help to see that you get a box for the season?" " Naturally." " And you should go to the races." "I'm not so fond of racing." "I never gamble except with my future." "Besides, racing is for the many." "I want something more difficult." "I want to start right in with the... favoured few." " That is decidedly more difficult." " It can be done, with your aid of course." "Look, here's the kind of thing I mean." "The finals of the Mask and Foil Club on Saturday next at Temple Gardens." "Now, the Mask and Foil Club is ideally select." "And I love to watch fencing." "Are you a contestant?" "No, I'm the referee." "Cecil Graham and Lord Darlington are the finalists." "Mr Graham told me when he called this morning." "If Cecil is that quick at the tournament, Darlington had best look to his laurels." "It should be a splendid match." "Is Lady Windermere going?" "Mrs Erlynne, I'm afraid it's almost impossible for you to go to the fencing." " Almost impossible?" " The tickets are reserved for members." "Yes, but surely you could arrange that a... shall we say, friend, could come?" "Well, you see..." "it's a matter of subscription." "It's a very old club and they're quite strict about these things." "In short, you don't think an adventuress would belong there." "No, no." "I..." "I didn't say any such thing." "Yes you did, dear Lord Windermere." "You said it in all sorts of languages." "I..." "I think I should go now." "I still don't know how you knew my wife's birthday." "I'm glad." "I keep my mystery." "You're very kind to have let me stay so long." " I've made you keep someone waiting." " Oh no, you haven't." "They're my own inventions." "I keep them inside so that when a gentleman calls they provide an opening for a conversation." "We didn't need one, did we?" " I hope we meet again soon." " I'm sure we shall." "Probably at the fencing match, Lord Windermere." "Good afternoon." "I'm heartbroken to have kept you waiting, but business matters, you know how they are." "Or rather, I hope you will never need to know, Lord Adolphus." "Augustus, dear lady, Augustus." "Augustus Lorton." "Yes, of course." "How could I have confused it when Augustus has always been one of my favourite names?" "There's something so regal, so Roman Empire about it, it suits you." "You were saying when my..." "my matter of business interrupted us?" "I'm so fortunate in having this letter of introduction to you from Mr Whistler." "Oh yes, Mr Whistler." "What a dear disagreeable man." "This is the sketch he did for the 'Lady in Silver' - his portrait of me done years ago..." "too many years ago!" "Dear Jimmy." "I so wish I could paint." "Oh, there are always such quantities of artists." "You, I'm sure, have rarer gifts." "I know you're someone famous." "Where is it I saw your name in print only lately?" "Oh, I know!" "Aren't you a member of the Mask and Foil Club?" "I'm second vice-president." "How wonderful of you!" "Do make yourself more comfortable." " Won't you have a cigarette?" " Thank you." "Mr Whistler has indeed done me a favour, in introducing me to you." "Oh no, Lord Augustus." "The favour is to me." " Why don't you sit here?" " That will be fine." " Do you think it's going to rain?" " I don't think so." "Look, there's Darlington, all ready." "Thank you, Lancelot." "Excuse me a moment." " Good afternoon, Arthur." " Hello." "I hope you're in good form." " Well, I hope I don't disappoint you." " Excuse me, Margaret." " I want to apologise, Lady Windermere." " Now, what have you done?" "I told you the other evening that even you could never look more beautiful." "Now that I see you today, I find I was wrong." "I wonder why a man think he's pleasing a woman when he says things to her he doesn't mean." " But I do mean them." " I hope not." "I like you very much, you know that." "But I shouldn't like you if I thought you were what most other men are." "You're better than most." "Sometimes I think you pretend to be worse." "If you pretend to be good, the world takes you seriously." "If you pretend to be bad, it doesn't." "Don't you want the world to take you seriously?" "No, but I want YOU to take me seriously, Lady Windermere." "Why me?" "Because we might be great friends." "And you may need a friend someday." "I think we are good friends, and will be so long as you don't spoil our friendship." "What's the matter with Darlington?" "Has he given up already?" "Lady Windermere, it would have been much kinder to me if you'd come heavily veiled and swathed in thick shawls." "I shall have the most terrible time keeping my eyes on my opponent." "It is useless to protest, all men are bound to pay you compliments." "Compliments are the only things I can afford to pay." "Do you remember there's a match you're supposed to take part in?" "Do you think the rain will hold off?" "It looks very threatening." "I don't think it will rain." "What do you think, Robert?" " Your guest, Arthur?" " Mrs Erlynne?" "Augustus is a fool." "You must pay me a great deal of attention this afternoon, I shall need it." "Tell me who people are." "Well, there is my sister, the Duchess of Berwick." "Who on earth is that with my brother?" "Do you know her, Mr Hopper?" "What an interesting face!" "You must introduce me to her." "And next to her, Lady Agatha, my niece." "And there is Lady Windermere." "Her name is Mrs Erlynne." "She lives at the same hotel as I, the Albemarle." " Is there a Mr Erlynne?" " I don't think anybody knows." "She looks like an edition deluxe of a wicked French novel meant especially for the English market." " They say she has quite a past." " She looks as if she had a dozen." "Well, Arthur, are we going to start?" "Perhaps we had better postpone the match." "Due to the inclemency of the weather or the arrival of Mrs Erlynne?" "All right, let's start." "(Thunder rumbles)" "Are you ready?" "En garde!" "Play." " Agatha?" " Yes, Mama?" "We are going inside." "I won't risk ruining my new hat to see whether Graham touches Darlington first, or Darlington Graham." "Come along with us, Margaret, or you'll be drenched." "I can't leave." "The match isn't over yet." "My dear, they can't possibly go on in this weather." "Look, Arthur is calling the match now." "All right, it's finished." "My dear lady, do hurry for the carriage or your lovely hat will get soaked and it will quite break my heart." "Maybe I can heal your heart." "I'll allow you to buy me a new hat." "Touché, Lord Windermere." "The heavens are with you this time." "Come, Augustus." "Wait for me." " Kindly leave that sign where it is." " I beg your pardon, sir?" " This house has been let, I'm the agent." " It has not been let." "But Lord Windermere will sign the lease this afternoon." "Oh, he will?" "Extremely interesting." "You there!" "Augustus?" "Have you completely lost your mind?" " What are you doing?" " Well, as you see, dear boy, there's no end to what I'd do for an attractive woman." "And she's damned attractive." "But I'm damned if I understand all this." "She must be rich." "She's taken this house." "Who is she?" "Where has she come from?" "Why hasn't she got any relatives?" "Damn nuisance, relatives I know, but they make one respectable." "Why are the women so down on her?" "You should hear what my sister says." "Don't tell me the Duchess of Berwick has met her." "Not yet, but she's heard things about her, didn't leave a rag on her." "That doesn't matter, because she's got an exceptionally fine figure." "Mrs Erlynne, I mean, not my sister." "Oh, I don't know what to do." "Sometimes one would think I was married to Mrs Erlynne." "She treats me with such indifference and when I complain about it, she's so clever, she can explain everything." "Do you mind if I have a word with her?" "She can get into society, can't she Arthur?" "Where is she?" "Upstairs, deciding on the mood for her bedroom." "Would you introduce her to your wife?" "Would you do that, old boy?" "Mrs Erlynne, will you please tell me what this is all about?" "Brocade is always handsome, but it rather ages one." "I wonder about tartan, billows of tartan." "I do love tartan." "So fresh and spring-like!" "Help me decide, Windermere." "What do you think?" "This lease was sent to my solicitor for my signature and cheque." "I'm supposed to take this house for a year." "With an option for another year." "Wasn't it clever of me to think of that?" " For 350 pounds." " Guineas, my dear man." "And I had to be most pathetic to the agent to get if for so little." "It's a charming house, isn't it?" "What has made you think that I am going to provide you with a house?" "Good reasons." "I could tell them to you, but mystery fascinates you, doesn't it?" "I have no intention of presenting you with this house or with anything else." "Perhaps you haven't at the moment." "But in a little while you'll be absolutely astonished at the change in you." "Your self-confidence is entirely misplaced." "Oh no, it isn't." "You will want to give me this house for two reasons." "It will make ideal campaign headquarters for my siege of Lord Augustus." "Am I supposed to encourage Lord Augustus to marry you?" "Oh dear me, no." "I'll do that." "It will require only the most primitive technique." "All sunshine one day, complete indifference the next." "And there you are, or rather, there I'll be." "Lady Augustus Lorton." "I dare say you'll make him an admirable wife." "He will think so, and so probably shall I." "But I require your financial assistance before we're officially engaged." "He will propose eventually, but it would hasten things considerably if I had the added attraction of a dowry." "He can so easily think that I inherited it from third cousin or a second husband, or some distant relative of that kind." "Nothing ostentatious, say... 2,500 pounds or so." "Mrs Erlynne, you are the most outrageous brazen woman I ever met." "Thank you, I always enjoy being described with a superlative degree." "Do you really mean to tell me that I am to give you a house and a small fortune because I called on you once?" "You are fascinated by me, admit it." "It rained the other day, Lord Windermere... for you." "But now the sun is shinning... for me." "Will you kindly tell me why you feel you can practise this extortion?" " I'm going to tell you." " (Augustus) Mrs Erlynne?" "My dear lady." "I quite forgot Augustus." "It's so easy to." "I'll send him away at once." " Come back later and I'll tell you then." " I must insist that you tell me now." " Come back at five o'clock." " I shall be busy at five." "Not as busy as that." "I'll see you at five o'clock." "I'm coming, my dear Augustus." "Poor Arthur, he was furious with me, with himself, with everything because he knew he would come back at five o'clock." " And did he?" " Promptly." "You know how curious men are." " I'm sure you satisfied his curiosity." " Certainly." " May I ask how?" " In the simplest possible way." "By telling him the truth." "There is nothing like a lifetime of lying to make one realise how effective the truth can be." "You understand that, don't you, Lord Darlington?" " My life was not devoted to lying." " It didn't have to be." "You let the lies come to you, and then used them most adroitly in your attempt to break up the Windermere marriage." "Yes, but I honestly loved Margaret and I had no hope until I heard those stories about you and Arthur." "His visits to you, and his paying for your house in Curzon Street." "That gossip was a godsend to me." "It was my chance." " And you took it." " And I took it." "I knew she was going shopping that day so I waited for her and followed her to the Burlington Arcade." "'It was too great a temptation." "'And you know that a man can resist everything except temptation.'" "If I had known you were coming this way today" "I would have covered the street with flowers for you to walk upon." "Good morning, Lord Darlington." "I've been so busy, I almost forgot to get slippers to dance in." "You're always the sweet exception." "Other women think first of their costumes, then of the occasion for them." "You know a great deal about women." "It's rather too bad it's your only study." "I admit it was a waste of time." "I found that out when I began to study you." "I'm not sure I like being observed so closely." "What will you forbid me next?" "To look at flowers, to see the sun?" "What a fascinating puritan you are." "The adjective was quite unnecessary." "Perhaps I am rather a puritan." "After my mother died, my father's sister took charge of me." "She taught me to remember what the world is forgetting - the difference between right and wrong." " She allowed no compromise." " Nor do I." "I wonder if you wouldn't consider a compromise in a case such as I happened to hear of recently." "The case of a young married couple." "The husband has become involved with a woman of rather doubtful character." "So doubtful in fact that there is no doubt whatsoever about it." "He calls on her constantly and he's said to be paying her bills." "Don't you think that in this instance the wife has a right to seek consolation elsewhere?" "You mean because the husband is vile the wife should be vile too?" " Vile is a terrible word." " But it's a terrible thing, Lord Darlington." "(Duchess) Look, Agatha." "There's Lady Windermere." "My dearest Margaret, how pleased I am to see you!" "Agatha, tell Lady Windermere how delighted you are to see her." "Yes, Mama." "How do you do, Lord Darlington?" "Do have the good sense to leave us." "There are two things a man should never find out about a woman." "What she really thinks of him and the size of her shoes." "I suppose we shall have the pleasure of seeing you at Lady Windermere's ball." "It's not a ball, it's only a dance." "It's small and early." "Very small, very early and very select." "We know that." "I don't know what the rest of society is coming to." "One meets the most dreadful people everywhere." "They certainly come to my parties." "Yours is one of the few houses left in London where I can take Agatha and feel perfectly secure." "By the way, Margaret, have you sent an invitation to Mr James Hopper?" "I don't know Mr Hopper." "He's that Australian everyone is taking so much notice of." "His father made a fortune by selling some sort of food in circular tins." "Most palatable, I believe." "I fancy it's the thing the servants always refuse to eat." " Mr Hopper is quite taken with Agatha." " Of course, I'll send him an invitation." "I'm so much interested in Australia." "Agatha has found it on the map." "It must be so pretty with all the little kangaroos flying about." "Australia is a very young country, isn't it?" "Wasn't it made at the same time as the others, Duchess?" "How clever you are, Margaret." "No, no Darlington." "You mustn't dream of talking to Agatha." "You're far too wicked a man." "Come now, Duchess." "As a wicked man I'm a complete failure." "Everyone says I've never done anything really wrong in my life." "Of course they only say it behind my back." "Goodbye, ladies." "What does he mean by that?" "I suppose we shall never find out." " Come on, Agatha." " Yes, Mama." " Goodbye, Monsieur Philippe." " Au revoir." "Bonjour, Madame la Duchess, Lady Windermere, Lady Agatha." "(Speaks French hesitantly)" "Margaret, you tell him dear." "He never understands my French." "He must come from some little village where they speak a sort of patois." "The shoes need stretching." "My little toe hurts me with whatever I do with it." "(Speaking in French)" " He'll bring another pair." " Yes dear, I understood that." "(Speaking in French)" " Agatha, darling?" " Yes, Mama?" "See those shiny buckles over there, aren't they charming?" "Yes, Mama." " Go over and look at them more closely." " Yes, Mama." "Dear girl, she's so fond of shiny things." "Such a pure taste." "I do so admire you, dear Margaret." "You're being so brave about this." " Brave about what, Duchess?" " And wise." "But the best thing you can do is to take him to Vichy for the waters." " Take whom?" " Why, Arthur of course!" "Then you can keep him under your eye all day long." "I assure you, my dear, that on several occasions I had to pretend to be very ill and I was obliged to drink the most unpleasant mineral waters just to get my husband out of town." "He was so strongly susceptible." "But I admit he'd never give away any large sums of money to anybody." "He was far too high principled for that." "My dear Duchess, won't you tell what you are talking about?" "(Interrupting in French)" "My husband and I, believe or not, married for love, just like you and Arthur." "We all begin like that." "And before the year was out he was running after all kinds of petticoats." " Every colour, shape, and material." " Please, Duchess, what is all this about?" "Wicked women get our husbands away from us, but they always come back." "Damaged, of course, but they come back." "What pretty slippers!" "Do you mean wicked women in general or some particular wicked woman?" " I mean Mrs Erlynne, naturally." " Mrs Erlynne?" "I never heard of her." "What is she to do with Arthur?" "Everyone looked on Windermere as such a model husband." "Please, Duchess." "Is it necessary to discuss this in front of?" " He can't understand a word I say." " I can't either." "That woman has actually taken a house in Curzon Street and they say that Arthur goes there four or five times a week." "She must have got a great deal of money out of somebody." "It seems she arrived in London a few weeks ago without anything to speak of." "Now she has a charming house, drives a pony in the park every afternoon and all this since she's known poor dear Windermere." "But her house and her horses can't be due to Arthur." "Margaret, tell him I'll take these shoes and I'll take them with me." "(Explains in French)" "Somebody is giving her money and it isn't Augustus." "He's head over heels about her, exactly what one would expect of him." "But he's given her nothing." "I know because I examine his cheque book every night." "You look in your brother's cheque book without his knowledge?" " Of course I do." "Agatha?" " Yes, Mama?" " Well, get the shoes dear." " Yes, Mama." " You're not going to cry, are you?" " You needn't be afraid, Duchess?" "I don't believe a word of this gossip and besides, I never cry." "Quite right, my dear." "Crying is the refuge of plain women." "But it's the ruin of pretty ones." "(Valedictions spoken in French)" " It was a pleasant evening, wasn't it?" " I loved it." "We should go to the theatre more often." "Society is at its best there." "All the chattering comes from the other side of the footlights." "So different from the opera, isn't it?" "Did you hear what somebody said about the opera?" "They enjoy it because the singing never interferes with their conversation." " Who did you hear say that?" " I don't know." "Somebody told me somebody had said it." "It's so late in the season people repeat almost anything." "I'll recommend you as a hairdresser to all my friends." "I should be glad to serve them, but my heart wouldn't be in my work." "If it should be, I'd kill them." "Are the plans for your birthday party all in order?" "I really think I've attended to every single thing about the dance." "No, I haven't." "I didn't send a card to the Duchess of Berwick's Mr Hopper." "I must go down and do it at once." " You must do no such thing." " But I promised the Duchess." "You can keep your promise in the morning." "You didn't tell me you saw the Duchess today." " Didn't I?" "I met her at Philippe's." " How many reputations did she destroy?" "Oh, she was rather interesting today." "She talked about you." "What did she find to say about me?" "Except, of course, the highest praise for my character and for my tailor." "I didn't pay much attention to most of it." "In fact, to any of it." "She did say you were extravagant." "It seems you've been buying houses and horses and all sorts of things for some mysterious lady that recently came to London." "Mrs Erly, or Eryl, I really don't remember." "Well, I'm glad you don't pay much attention to her." "Why should I?" "You remember what she told us about Lady Jansen and her husband and that incident in the South of France." "Come, let's have no more horrible stories." "Did you see anyone pleasant today?" " Yes." "I met Lord Darlington." " Oh, Robert?" "I saw him too, or rather I caught a glimpse of him." " He went past me in Curzon Street." " Curzon Street?" "What were you doing in Curzon Street, Arthur?" "I was endeavouring to get from one end of it to the other." "Why do you ask such nonsensical questions?" "I don't know." "I suppose I must have nonsense in my head." "You're tired, darling, that's what it is." "You need a rest, I think we both do." " Why don't we go abroad after the ball?" " That's curious." " What's curious?" " You're suggesting that we go abroad." "The Duchess suggested it too, she thought it would be a very good thing." "Then for once the Duchess and I agree." "Even she can't be wrong always." "No, I suppose she can't always." " Is something wrong, darling?" " No, I was just thinking." " What about?" " Lady Jansen." "She and Lord Jansen no longer live under the same roof." "She left him." "I just said that the Duchess had to be right sometimes, didn't I?" "It has to do with the law of averages." " Arthur, what's the matter with you?" " What's supposed to be the matter?" " You just shouted." " I didn't do anything of the kind!" "And if I did, you show me the man who can discuss the Duchess of Berwick without losing his patience." "And you show me the woman." "(Clock chimes three o'clock)" "Margaret, what on earth are you doing?" "Of course." "You couldn't wait to see what your birthday present was, could you?" "You know what happens to little girls who can't wait until Christmas morning to steal a look at their gifts, don't you?" "Don't look so frightened, darling." "I'd love to give it to you now." "You needn't wait a moment longer." "Happy birthday, Lady Windermere." "Oh, it's lovely, it's enchanting." "You're an angel, Arthur, you're my good angel." "You've kept me from doing something I should've been very much ashamed of." " What could you do to be ashamed of?" " I couldn't sleep." "My mind kept going round and round about the Duchess and Lady Jansen and houses and horses and mysterious women and about how the Duchess was right sometimes and..." "Then when you said you'd been in Curzon Street I..." "I kept thinking." "Suddenly I just had to know." "It wasn't about the birthday present." " It was because I was going to." " Going to what?" "Because I was going to look at your cheque book." " Margaret, that isn't like you!" " I know." "Wasn't I an idiot?" "All this fuss and worry when all I needed to do is to ask you." "Darling, you're so tired, you must go to sleep..." "Because you would have told me, wouldn't you, Arthur?" " It's nearly morning, come to bed." " Wouldn't you?" " Please Margaret, it's so late." " Arthur, tell me now that it isn't true." "Will you stop this foolishness?" "Have you been paying money to this woman?" " Then I must find out for myself!" " You don't understand." "Things are not always what they appear." " Mrs Erlynne, 600 pounds." " It's insane to misconstrue circumstances." " Mrs Erlynne, 400 pounds." " Things may seem to be what they're not." "Mrs E, 700 pounds." "Mrs E..." "Oh, it's all true!" " I only ask you to trust me." " Trust you, after what I've just seen?" "After the money you've given and given to this trollop." " You mustn't say such things about her." " Why mustn't I?" "Because they're wrong." "As long as I've known Mrs Erlynne, her conduct has been beyond criticism." " Perhaps it's true that many years ago..." " Please, spare me the story of her life." "Listen to me." "Mrs Erlynne lost everything, threw it away if you like." "All she wants is a chance to get her life back again, to have a new start." "That's all she wants from me or from anyone else." " I've tried to help this woman." " So I can see from your cheque book." "Margaret, believe me." "I've done nothing to hurt our love." "You have." "You thought because I had no father or mother that you could humiliate me and degrade me and I'd do nothing about it?" "It maddens me how you'd congratulate each other on my ignorance." "Laughing and smirking together while I trust in you." "I wish to Heaven, I could find a way to hurt you and her as you two hurt me." "And I will find it, I will!" "You'll see that I will." "(Doorbell)" " Good afternoon, Bessie." " Good afternoon, madam." " Has anyone called?" " Lord Windermere has been waiting." "If I'd known you were coming I never would have coaxed Augustus into playing that second set." "The house is beginning to look like a house, isn't it?" "I've been involved with masses of upholsterers and drapers." "I had to plead, virtually on my knees, with the carpet dealers or there would have been no new carpets for months." "I'm sorry, Mrs Erlynne, but there will no further need for carpets or anything else for this house." " And why not?" " Because you're leaving it." "You're leaving London, leaving England." " Margaret knows everything?" " Not everything, but enough." " Who told her?" " Some 'friend'." "I'm sorry I didn't tell her the truth myself from the first." "Curious." "I regret my bad actions and you regret your good ones." "All London is gossiping about this house and the money I gave you." " You take these things too seriously." " Mrs Erlynne, I wanted to help you." "I didn't realise how things would seem and what people would say." " You must leave London." " Your breaking your word, Arthur." "You promised me the chance of a new life, a secure and decent life." " I know I did." " Well, you haven't given me that chance." "I've not yet assured my position so that Lord Augustus will ask me to marry him." " I can't help it, you must go." " Please don't give me orders, Arthur." "I shall stay in London as long as I choose." " Yes, Bessie?" " I beg your pardon, madam." "This has just been delivered by special messenger." "You don't want to cause Margaret any more pain, do you?" "I've never seen her as she was last night." "Today, she locked herself in her room, I don't know what she might do." "I can't lose her." "If I do, I lose life itself." " And what about my life?" " Must you always think of yourself?" "Don't you realise that if you stay here Margaret will find out who you are?" "Suppose she does find out, will the world come to an end?" " It would for her." " You'll not hound me out of London." "I've made mistakes, yes, and I've paid for them." "And now you come to me and tell me I must pay again and go on paying for the rest of my life?" "Well, I won't do it." "My account is settled and I'll pay no more." "I too have been paying for your mistakes, Mrs Erlynne." "And I'm willing to pay considerably more to end any further demands on me." "I'm making out this cheque to you for 10,000 pounds." "It's drawn on the Paris branch of my bank." "Payable only in Paris and only within the next three days." "I won't go and that is final." "The club train leaves at 10:45 tonight." "There is no emergency to excuse your conduct." "You're disposing of my life with utter selfishness, and now you add vulgarity to cruelty." "You're the lowest of all thing, you're cheap." "I'm leaving the cheque on the mantelpiece, Mrs Erlynne." "Good afternoon." "'As long as I live, I'll never forget that moment." "'There was a cheque of 10,000 pounds from Lord Windermere to be rid of me." "'And there was an invitation to her birthday ball from Lady Windermere.'" "It was the most precious invitation I ever received." "The most precious invitation from his wife?" " From my daughter." " Margaret, your daughter?" "I didn't know." " I never knew." " Of course you didn't." "It was my career to keep everybody from knowing it." "How could I have acknowledged a grown-up daughter?" "I never admitted I was more than 29, 30 at the most." "29 when they were pink shades 30 when they were not." "But why did you become separated from your husband and your child?" "Why does any woman leave her husband and her child?" " For another man." " Who in turn, abandoned me." "I'm sorry." "Arthur was the only one who ever knew my secret." "More than anything in the world, he wanted to spare Margaret the humiliation of knowing that her mother was a woman whose name was a scandal in every country in Europe." "He was right to shield her." "I realise that now more clearly than ever." "That night, I went to her birthday ball." "I forget why." "Perhaps I wanted to defy my son-in-law." "'Perhaps I longed to see my daughter." "'Anyway, I went to the ball.'" "Mrs Erlynne." "Yes, madam." " Good evening, Lord Windermere." " My dear Countess!" " And Margaret." " Good evening, my dear." " Excuse me." " It's been so long." " Good evening, Arthur." " Hello, John." "Nice to see you." "How dare you come to this house tonight?" "It isn't especially daring to accept an invitation." " How did you get that?" " A messenger, a special one." "Such a dependable service, don't you think?" "You're not going in." "I'm going to have your carriage called at once." "Manners before morals, Lord Windermere." "Good evening, Cecil." "Lord Darlington." "Good evening, Lady Windermere." "I am Mrs Erlynne." "It was so charming of you to invite me." "You must have known how delighted I'd be to meet on your birthday." " Good evening, Mrs Erlynne." " Your house is enchanting." "I'm sure you chose the decorations yourself." "One can tell such things." "And your fan, what a lovely thing!" "A birthday present?" " Yes, from my husband." " What exquisite taste your husband has." "I congratulate you, Lord Windermere." "And with all my heart, I congratulate you, Lady Windermere." " Many, many happy returns of this day." " Thank you." "Excuse me." "Lord Augustus, you have quite neglected me." " I haven't seen you since this afternoon." " I had no idea you were coming." " Excuse me." "You should have told me." " Isn't a surprise pleasanter?" "I give you my word I have nothing to do with this, Margaret." " I've no idea how she got the invitation." " I sent it to her." "May I dance with your wife, or are all her dances reserved for you?" "I should be delighted, Lord Darlington." "I thought I knew Arthur well but apparently I don't." "Very shrewd of him to invite her." "Nothing looks so much like innocence as an indiscretion." " I invited Mrs Erlynne." " You did?" "Why?" "I don't know." "I asked her because I was hurt and angry." "I wanted to show him, I wanted to show them all." "I was going to make an example of how I was going to insult him." " But why didn't you?" " I couldn't." "She's so different from what I thought she'd be." "When she stood there, I could do nothing at all." "It takes a thoroughly good woman to do a thoroughly stupid thing." "You played right into her hands, you helped her to achieve triumph." "Please take me out onto the balcony." "It's so bright and loud in here." "Tell me what I am to do." "You said one day I'd need a friend, I didn't dream it would be so soon." "But I need one now." "Will you be my friend?" "No Margaret, I cannot be your friend any longer." "Between you and me there is no friendship possible." "There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship." " I love you." " Please Robert, don't." "I have loved from the first moment I saw you." "And now is the time to tell you I want to take you away." "I want you to leave this house tonight." "I offer you my life, Margaret, my whole life." "Do what you want with it, but please, please, take it." "I can't, I'm afraid." "I'm a coward." "You mustn't be." "You must be brave, this will take courage." "I wish I could lie to you, I wish I could tell you the world doesn't matter, but it does." "The world and what it will say matter far too much." "There'll be a time of pain, disgrace even, but remember I'll be there beside you." "When it's all over, when you no longer have his name but mine the world that is so quick to turn, will turn back again to respect you." "You said you make no compromises, make none now, be yourself." "Not now, I can't answer you now." "I offer you my love and my life." "I offer you more than that, your pride, your self-respect, your honour." "Leave this house with your head high." "Leave all that is ugly and tarnished and corrupt forever." "But suppose... suppose Arthur..." "Yes?" "Suppose Arthur what?" "Suppose Arthur came back to you, is that what you're thinking?" "If he did, you'd take him, wouldn't you?" "Poor Margaret." "In a week, you will be driving with this woman in the park." "She'll be constantly in your house, she'll become your closest friend." "You're right, my dear, you have no courage." " Please, give me time to think." " No." "Our moment came, you refused it." "Now it is gone." "Our lives touched." "They'll never touch again." "I'm leaving England tomorrow." "Goodbye, Margaret." "Isn't that Darlington?" "Oh, Arabella, allow me to introduce Mrs Erlynne." "Good evening, Duchess." "I think next to your brother I am your most fervent admirer." "He talks about you so often." "Everybody knows what a brilliant talker he is." "Everyone knows where he gets it from, of course, it runs in the family." "As a matter of fact, the last time I was in Monte Carlo they were all quoting your absolutely deathless remarks." "Were they really?" "In Monte Carlo?" "You must tell me." " Agatha?" " Yes, Mama?" "Have you kept the last three dances for Mr Hopper?" " Yes, Mama." " Could I possibly have this dance too?" "I doubt that she has one left, but we can ask her." " Have you this dance left, Agatha?" " Yes, Mama." "You're indeed in luck, Mr Hopper." "Take care of my little chatterbox." "What charming things you say, Mrs Erlynne." "Tell me more..." " Isn't this our dance, dear lady?" " I wish it were, Augustus, but our host insists on dancing with me." "Duchess." "Don't look so dismal, Arthur." "Everything is going beautifully." "From tonight the odds are greatly reduced." "I'm sorry, but I don't know what you mean." "The odds against my being received into London society were a hundred to one." "Tonight I have been received by your wife, my position is secure and Lord Augustus is ripe for the plucking." "I cannot imagine what made Margaret ask you here tonight." " I don't know what will come of it." " Nothing but good." "I'm planning to have a little talk with Margaret." "Please don't, please don't cause us any more trouble." "Would it cause more trouble if she understood about those cheques to me?" "What will you tell her?" "How pleasant it is to have a son-in-law who dances so well." "What are you going to tell her?" "Leave it to me." "I never rehearse my conversations." "It will be some heart-warming little story about your friendship for Augustus." "Arthur, I must tell you everyone is remarking what a handsome couple you and Mrs Erlynne make." "How civilised of poor dear Margaret not to be jealous!" " Agatha." " Yes, Mama." " Come here, Agatha." " Yes, Mama." " Has Mr Hopper?" " Yes, Mama." " And what answer did you give him?" " Yes, Mama!" "Did you hear that, Mrs Erlynne?" "Dear Agatha always says the right thing." "Mr Hopper, come here!" "Agatha has told me everything." "How cunningly you two kept your secret!" "You may kiss me, Mr Hopper." "You don't mind my taking Agatha off to Australia, Duchess?" "Australia, with all those horrid kangaroos crawling about?" "Let me talk about that tomorrow." "You must come and lunch, of course." " You'll join us, won't you Mrs Erlynne?" " With pleasure, Duchess." " Well, run along children." " Yes, Mama." "Till tomorrow then, at luncheon." "Aren't we going to dance at last?" "The next one's a polka and I just learned it." "I can hardly wait, but first I want to talk to our hostess." "Oh, Mr Graham?" "Have you seen Lady Windermere?" "Look for Lord Darlington if you wish to find Lady Windermere." "And look for Lady Windermere if you wish to find Lord Darlington." "So much information based on so little evidence is always the mark of a spiteful mind." "You should be more careful, Mr Graham." "Would you take me to Lady Windermere, please?" "I believe her ladyship is out on the balcony." "I just took her cloak to her." "Is she alone?" "I believe so, madam." "Lord Darlington left a while ago." "(Hoskins) Yes, madam?" "Are you quite sure you don't know where Lord Darlington is?" "He attended Lady Windermere's ball tonight." "I know that!" "Would he have gone to his club, perhaps?" "I couldn't say, madam." "Will you go to club and see if he's there?" "It's most important." " Take a cab." " Very well, madam." " Oh, there he is now." " I'm afraid not." "His lordship always uses his latch key." " I'm sorry, Lord Darlington is not at home." " Good." " Please, do what I told you." " Wait, where are you going?" "To get a cab and see if his lordship is at the club." "That will not be necessary." "But get the cab and wait at the corner, please." "Very good, madam." " I'm so glad I found you." " What do you mean by interfering?" "Lady Windermere, you must leave here." "You mustn't make this terrible mistake." " How do you know what I'm going to do?" " Oh, I know these things." "Too well." "Did Arthur send you?" "Is he afraid of the scandal?" "No, he doesn't know you're here." "I said you went to your room with a headache." "Go back to your husband." "Don't throw away his love." "The day may come when you will starve for love." "You go back to my husband, he's yours." "I must say after seeing you tonight I understand him only too well." " You're quite irresistible, Mrs Erlynne." " Please go back home." "I shall stay here with the man who has offered me his life." "Yes, he offers you his life and then he takes yours and destroys it." "I've learned that." "I've learned that too well." "Listen to me." "We do silly things when we are hurt." "Don't spoil your beautiful young life on my account." "Your husband loves you and in your heart you know it." "What do you know about hearts?" "Women like you have no hearts." "They're bought and sold." "Perhaps..." "But can you imagine yourself trying to live by your wits?" "Trying to fight against a world that wants none of you?" "That will allow you no place in it?" "Think of yourself if you can, despised and ignored by every woman." "Think of the men who look at you, guessing and making bets about you." "Don't worry, Mrs Erlynne, that won't happen to me." "I thought that too but it could happen to you just as it happened to me." "I was just as young as you, just as beloved, just as mistaken." "But you... you'd be lost, child, you couldn't stand it." "There is only one thing that I can't stand..." "Don't say it, it isn't true." "I mean nothing to Arthur." "The money that he gave me was really a gift from Augustus who didn't want to write his own cheques because he was afraid of his sister." "You're most accomplished at clever little stories, Mrs Erlynne." "I hate to admit this but you're jealous of a woman who could be your mother." "Don't mention that name." "You're devoted to her memory, aren't you?" "Think of her now." "Think what she would say if she were alive." "She would tell you to go back to your husband, that your place is with him." "I don't understand." "What makes you say all this?" "I once ruined a man's life, just as you're about to ruin Arthur's." "But we don't ruin a life and go scot-free." "We ruin ourselves from the moment we do it." "I don't want anyone to stand in front of you one day and tell you that you're a woman that can be bought and sold." "Come, I'll take you home." "(Horse hooves approach)" " I want you at nine o'clock tomorrow." " Yes, m'lord." "Come, quick." "My cloak!" " Good night, Robinson." " Good night, m'lord." "Robert, old boy!" "Whoa, cabbie!" " Augustus, what are you up to?" " Come on to the club for a drink." " I just came from there." "It's closed." " Closed at two?" "That's ridiculous." "Let's all go to the Cafe Royal." "In my opinion, we all need a good night's sleep." " A very good idea." " You may well talk, a married man!" "Arthur, you're coming along with us to a bachelor's." " How about having a drink with you?" " Of course, come in." "Let's go out through the back door." "(Indistinct male chatter)" "Hoskins?" "Hoskins?" "I'm afraid we shall have to wait upon ourselves." "I can't find Hoskins." " Soda or water?" " Water, please." "Robert, we were just saying what a great evening we all had." " Yes, delightful." " No, no, no." "Don't drown it." "Make mine a small one." "I really must go home in a moment." "I shouldn't leave Margaret alone." "Don't go yet, old man." "You'll only weaken her." " Was Margaret not feeling well?" " She had a headache." "Probably the excitement of her first ball." "Probably." "By the way, why did you leave so early tonight, Robert?" "I had some other important matters to attend to, I'm leaving England tomorrow." " Isn't it very sudden?" " Quite." "Would you care to play cards?" "I can't." "I promised Mrs Erlynne never to gamble or drink again." "He's actually keeping half his vow." "That's the worst of women, they're always reforming men." "Yes, they always find us bad." "I don't think we men are bad, I think we're all good." "No, we're all in the gutter." "But some of us are looking at the stars." " You're very romantic tonight, Robert." " You must be in love." "Who's the girl?" " Come on, Robert." "You can trust us." " Who is she?" "The woman I love is not free or thinks she isn't." "Don't let it worry you." "There are only two tragedies in life." "One is not getting what one wants, the other is getting it." " Come on, Augustus, I'll take you home." " I don't want to go home yet." " (Cecil whispers) Don't be silly." " This is the best joke of the season." "Augustus, don't be a fool." "Don't you realise..." "He's talking of pure love but has a woman in his room." "My fan!" "They found my fan!" " Show him the fan!" " What fan?" "Show us, Cecil." "Come on." "Perfectly ridiculous, it must be some mistake." "It's my wife's fan, there can't be any mistake." "Arthur, I assure you I have no idea how that fan got here." " That's no explanation." "You must know." " I'm sorry but I don't." "Then you certainly won't object to my searching your rooms." "I'm afraid I must object." "You cannot search my rooms..." "You swine!" "Here, take my fan and leave the rest to me." "Come, come." "(Arthur) I'm going up these stairs." "Will you let go of me!" "I'll not leave here... (Door slams)" "I'm so sorry, I think I left my fan here." "Oh, there it is." "No, this is isn't mine." "Well, isn't that stupid of me?" "This is Lady Windermere's fan." "I must have mistaken it for my own when I was leaving the ball." "I'm so sorry." "Will you please return this to your wife, Lord Windermere?" "Please send mine to my house before tomorrow night as I'm leaving for Paris." "(Door opens)" " Could your man escort me home?" " Yes, of course." "And Augustus, would you tell your sister, the Duchess that I shall be unable to lunch with her tomorrow?" "Thank you." " Did the young lady, I mean..." " Yes, madam." "I put her in the cab." "You would be doing your master real service by not telling him that there was another lady in the house tonight." "I understand, madam." "Good morning, Dawson." "Good morning, m'lord." "I had no idea Your Lordship was up." "I slept in the study." "Have any of you found a fan?" "Someone left it here." "A fan?" "I don't think so, m'lord." "At least, not yet." "Several of the ladies left various gloves and handkerchiefs and her grace, the Duchess of Berwick left a galosh, but I've seen no fan." "I will enquire of the others." "Tell them to try and keep quiet, I don't want her ladyship to be disturbed." "Her ladyship left the house half an hour ago, m'lord." " Did she say where she was going?" " No, m'lord." "Very well." "Try and find the fan." "Rosalie, did her ladyship say where she was going?" " She was going to deliver a package." " What package?" "It was fan, my Lord." "Her ladyship had me put it in a small box for her." "Thank you, Rosalie." "My dear child, you've come to see me." "It's hard to believe." "It's lovely to believe." "I had to see you." "I can't accept your sacrifice, it's too much." "You must be calm." "Come and sit down." " You look pale." " I don't mean to." " Didn't you sleep well?" " No, of course I didn't." "Mrs Erlynne, think what you did last night." "You threw away all your hopes, all your safety." "All your life." "What does a child like you know about my hopes and my safety?" "I saw you ruin them just to save me." "Why did you do it?" "Perhaps because your hopes and your safety and your life are more precious than mine." "Or perhaps it was because I'm very fond of you, Lady Windermere." "I can't let you do it." "I'm going to tell Arthur everything." " No, you mustn't dream of doing that." " But I owe it to you." "If you think you owe me something pay me by silence." "Don't spoil the one good thing I've done in my life by telling it." "I know your mother would think that." "I know that she'd want above all that you keep Arthur happy." "I think your father would want that too." "Yes, I know he would want my happiness." "He had so little happiness himself after my mother died." "He loved her very much." "They say people don't die of broken hearts, but I know that he did." "As you see, I'm packing again." "Packing and unpacking, that's the rhythm of my life." "I'm rather glad." "London is too full of fogs and serious people." "Whether the fogs produce serious people, or the serious people produce fogs..." "Oh, there's your carriage." "And there's your Arthur." "Good, at least I can tell him how foolish I was to suspect him." "You'll do nothing of the kind." "Not that you are not foolish, but to admit it and to a husband..." "Never." "Here, I came to give you back your fan and I've forgotten to do it." "I'd rather like you to keep it, to remember me by." "Oh, I should love to have it." "I hate to say this..." "Goodbye, Lady Windermere." " You'll write to me perhaps?" " I don't think so, child." "Our lives will lie so very far apart." "We belong to different worlds, you know." "I used to think that, now I know better." "There's the same world for all of us." "Yes, I tore up Lord Windermere's cheque." "Perhaps I shouldn't have." "But it gave me so much pleasure to do it that I have never regretted it." "Oh, I've needed the money a thousand times." "But I've learned a thousand times that money isn't very much." "Yes, if it could buy back your twenties, or your thirties, or your forties." "Even your sixties!" "How did we come to talk about all this?" "The fan." "You know, the fan you found at the auction." "Oh yes, and I was so proud of my memory." "Now I've gone and forgotten what happened just this morning." "You know, I always wondered why you were at my house that night." " In fact, sometimes I almost thought..." " You thought I came to see you?" "Oh, what indestructible vanity." "No, my dear." "Every other woman in London, I don't doubt, but not me." "Mrs Erlynne, I find we have so many things to talk about." "It would give me great pleasure if you would dine with me one evening." "Robert, Robert, we're grown-up now." "Besides, my dear, you must save your coupons." "I shall be so happy to have the fan again." "After Margaret had gone home that morning, she sent me a bouquet of roses and her fan in the mother-of-pearl box, the fan with her name on it." " Come on, let's go and get it now." " Oh, I..." "Ready, m'lord." "It's such a treat to press a fine Cheviot nowadays." "Oh, I see." "(Robert) Thank you, Simpson." "How easy life is for men!" "A freshly pressed suit and they're young again!" "My dear." " Good day, Simpson." " Good day, m'lord."