"Am I gonna have to give a speech?" "You're the publisher." "Can't you do it?" "I can warm them up." "But you are gonna have to get over this fear of public speaking before the book tour." "Tim has a few words to say." "tim." "They're warmed up." "what do you say at a time like this?" "what do you say?" "You could thank everyone for coming." "nick. but his patient hand-holding of crazy authors." "but... we are happy to supply the confidence." "Best-seller." "that's not gonna hapn." " What?" "Come on." "Shorstories don't make money." "Short stories weren't making money back in 1908." "You'd haveto be mathematically illiterate to think they'd do as well as a novel." "let's step away from the champagne before somebody gets hurt." "You slaved over this book right next to me." "Why would northrop even publish it if it's only going to tank?" "Have you failed to notice you're our star author?" "elaine wouldn't want to offend you." "honey." "I-I'm sorry." "I don't--I don't know why I said that." "He's joking." "Nick knows as well as anyone what you have done is art." "but you don't expect to make a living off it." "Hat the hell is wrong with you?" "You really think someone who goes through ten assistants a year and doesn't return her own children's phone calls would give a damn about the state of the american short story?" "be quiet." "I think something's wrong." "That title was a mistake too." "are you gonna come up short on that one." "Honey!" "Call 911." "Help!" "We need help!" "Cameron brought this up from the E.R." "Doesn't look like a friendship bracelet." "It's phineas gage." "The most famous case study in medical history." "You're telling me this patient got a railroad spike drilled through his frontal lobe?" "but he does have frontal lobe disinhibition." "Just like gage." "Gage was a different person after the spike." "Argumentative." "Impulsive." "Whereas our guy became a different person after chardoay." "He was sober when they brought him in." "the collapse." " Mri show anything?" " Nothing." "Good.*****" "So the tumor's not in the cool neighborhood." "It's cool neighborhood adjacent." "A well-placed tumor in the nasal cavity eroding into the brain could do the damage." "Go stick a scope up phineas's nose." "See what you find." "I'm always gonna win if you keep telling me what your cards are." "then suppose I tell you... while I tickle you." "I'm dr." "Taub." "Is is dr." "Kutner." "We're here for another test." "Sorry about that." "You don't look sorry." "no offense." "Although you do look kind of cheerful." "It's a little creepy." "Should I want a doctor who's excited about how sick I am?" "scan for any problems." "I can assure you that we are mpletely unexcited abo that." "sweetie." "She has an auditory processing disability." "you have to get off the bed." "This might be slightly uncomfortable do you mind if I step out?" "I have to make sure the final arrangements are in place for the breast cancer walk." "you do that." "I'll pretend to be macho while a guy stuffs three feet of plastic up my nose." "It's too bad it's not your nose." "Lots more room to maneuver." "I guess the walk can wait ten minutes." "even longer." "Just how does tying up traffic for six hours stop breast cancer?" "You know how it works.People donate" "Why not spend six hours building houses for habitat for humanity?" "Or is it wrong to help two groups of people at once?" "I bet there are those who have breast cancer and no home." "nick." "You walked yourself last year." "To be supportive." "And because I knew you wouldn't have sex with me if I didn'T." "I'm gonna make my call." "Make this go away." "isn't it?" "Wednesday night." "Low-wn-blue-meanie versus the incinerator." "I can'T." "Let me rephra.Low-down-blue-meanie" "I understand monster truck code." "Do you understand "can't"?" "Not when it follows "low-down-blue-meanie." "wednesday-- it's not "can'T." It's "don't want to." "The fact is I just don like monster trucks." "I don't." "You've always liked monster trucks." "you've always liked them." "I've tolered them." "I can only watch so many hyped-up dune buggies crush so many motor homes without feeling the urge to go see la boheme." "And I hate opera too." "What are you hiding?" "I'm not hiding it." "I'm saying it loud and proud." " Death to monster trucks." " No nasal cancer." "D no marriage either if our patient keeps saying everything that comes into his head without regard for the consequences." "You always led me to believe you were one of a kind." "Luckily jerkiness is a temporary condition for this guy." "it's not. but he always gonna be the guy who thinks them." "But he's also gonna bethe guy who doesn't say them. isn't that as much who he really is as anything else?" "You would argue that." "You're all persona." "I agree with wilson." "This guy's aarry potter." "The sorting hat was going to put harry in slytherin based on his nature." "so he ended up in gryffindor." "Through choice." "There's damage somewhere in his brain." "Find it." "Are you sure you understand?" "I'm lying." "Except I can'T." "You ask questions." "you look at my brain activity to see where it's screwed up." "Then you're gonna cut the screwed up part out to test it." "but it's not rocket science." "I think he understands." "I don't mean to be abrasive." "Especially since you're such a pleasure to image naked." "sorry." " It's okay." "Thank you for understanding." "though." "my apologies." "This stuff just comes out." " It's okay." "House paged." "I would do her in a minute with fudge and a cherry on top." "Would someone please explain to this woman?" "There's only so many apologies" "He hafrontal lobe disinhibition. whom I am at this moment imagining with you in a king-sized bed with a mirror on the cling." "so sorry." "you definitely would be my first choice." "Where's house?" "It's like trying not to think of an elephant." "are all homo sapiens" "House isn't here." "he wouldn't have paged meif he couldn't watch and enjoy the" "Your tush is like the pistons in a ferrari." "You're welcome." "That was for my benefit" " You're 40 years old..." " 38." "The administrator of a hospital..." " Dean of medicine." " People don't get personal with you." "and you dismiss me as a jerk who's jerking you around." "But that guy can only tell the truth." "And he prefers your body to thatof a smokin' young hottie." "So that was your way of saying I look good day." "You didn't get the slightest kick out of that?" "house." "I hope you know your pistons are second to none." "I'm okay." "I'm not jealous of cuddy's pistons." "Starting baseline activation." "You sure?" "You looked upset." "What he was saying was obnoxious." "You've never been called attractive?" "He didn't call me attractive." "He cast me in his mental porno." "sexually." "Attracted can also mean "I'm attracted to the whole package." "To who you are." "Slight elevation at transaxial 60." "not what men say." "it's exactly what men say if they have any brains." "we have enough for a baseline." "but that he won't hate us for knowing?" "do you vote the same way as your wife?" "no." "Good." "He's spiking at right?" "********" "Wrong." "I secretly don't vote." "Ever." "and you've never voted?" "Your voice isno longer attractive to me with that note of disapproval." "Although I'm sure that will pass." "Look at that." "There's a spot in the cingulategyrus that's not lighting up." "One vote makes a difference?" "nick." "We've got what we need." "We can't biopsy that." "It's too close to the brainstem." "Could be neurosarcoidosis." "At least it's treatable." "we should start seng his symptoms improve within half a day." "What are you looking at?" "I find your strong attachment to a working democracy to be extremely sexy." "you smooth talker." "Do you think my nose is too big?" "right?" "No." "No one's ever mentioned your nose before?" "You're a plastic surgeon." " They tell melt suits my face." " It does." "Maybe." "Maybe that's just the social contract." "You tell me I look great." "I tell you you're a people person." "How can you know the truth?" "You could ask for the truth." "What do you think of my nose?" "Please tell me the truth." "It's fine." "It's a nose." "Just oving a point." "Anyone sitting here?" "Just my persona." "it's amazing the way people cling on to insults." "Or what they think are insults." "So that wasn't an insult? sarcastic core beneath a candy shell of compulsive nicene." "I'm not always nice." "I'm not nice to you." "Because you know nice bores me." "still nice." "I'm suggesting that you have no core." "Yore what whoever you're with needs you to be." "I guess that could be insulting." "The interesting question is why." "Why do you thinkthe world will end in chaos and destruction if you're not there to save it? you will grow to manhood under yellow sun" "And why'd you lie about monster trucks?" " I didn'T." " I checked your appointment bk." "but you didn't put down what you were doing." "So you thought someone might look at e book" "I'm playing racquet ball tomorrow night with taub." "Why would you hide that?" "Because the world revolves around you." "you'd end up stalking me and harassing them." "You say that as though it wouldn't be fun." "And maybe I didn't want to rub your nose in the fact that we'd be doing so thing you can no longer do." "Because I'm nice." "I thought you said thesteroids were gonna help him." "What--is it his heart?" "Ekg says heart's fine." "It's gotta be the kidneys." "I need to get him on dialysis." "and he's stable." "We know it's not systemic sclerosis." "cyrano de berkowitz." "Let it go." "Chronic lymphocytic leukemia could explain brain and kidney problems." "The cbc showed normal white blood cells." "So how long have you been aying racquetball with wilson?" "Four five times." "Could be diabetes." "Or a congenal metabolic disorder." "Cgenital disorders generally don't wait till you're 46 to manifest." "So he's a late bloomer." "His daughter has a neurological condition." "and you ara jew." "You're not athletic." "Run the end of the hall and back." "I'll time you." "Sandy koufax is jewish." "Greatest left-handed pitcher of all time." "Sandy koufax is all you jews go on about." "Sandy koufax and the holocaust." "Gets old." "There are dozens of congenital conditions that fit our parameters. especially when we're only guessing it's congenital." "Is a z-shot offensive or defensive?" "It's both." "You suspected that was a trick question." "But could have said neither." "Diabetes makes more sense." "We can narrow the testing down to 40 likely candidates." "Test for peripheral nerve damage." "He's got brain damage." "He's likely to have peripheral nerve damage no matter what the cause." "that's why we should not test him for it." "Test the daughter." "Kuer runs the nerve test." "you might be right about the diabetes." "Take supper away from our patient and run a glucose tolerance test." "and the nurses have been working so hard." "You can do the blood draws yourself." "They have to be done every couple hours." "You're punishing me because you're jealous that I'm spending time with your best friend." "That would be petty." "I'm punishing you because now you've joined my best friend in lying to me." "Let me know when you're ready to confess everything." "The can become either hot or cold." "I want you to tell me." "But you don't think there's something wrong with me." "they're testing you to help daddy." "what you're doing is very important." "the better we know your dad is." "I'll start with heat." "I know it's not his fault." "but it doesn't help." "he's still the same man." "That's the problem." "Apparently he's been thinking this stuff all along." "it's not the person I thought I was married to." "You okay?" "She should be feeling something by now." "What does that mean?" "Is she sick too?" "Marika!" "Honey!" "You're burned." "Why didn't you tell me it started to hurt?" "I wanted to help daddy." "the better daddy has to be." "Sorry." "I'm starving." "Only way we can do the test." "Good thing it's you and not dr." "Hadley." "Could you keep her away from me?" "I have a rich imaginative life." "I'd rather not share it." "We all have thoughts." "I know we all have sexual thoughts." "We have ignoble thoughts." "especially not to my wife." "I understand." "I don't think it would be fair to define me by my passing thoughts." "My real choices are my actions." "And I've never done anything to hurt her." "I've never cheated." " You're kidding me." "You've cheated?" " What?" "No." "Why would you say that?" "Because you look guilty as hell." "Are you serious?" "Of course you're serious." "everyone knows." "they must think you're a creep." "They might not know." "They might be idiots." "Just say these things." "Why'dou page me here?" "I need you to update me on the patient's condition." "Seems to be dead." "Why'd you page me here?" "I need you to update me on the patient's condition while hitting this against the wall." "This is the only place we can do both." "I finished the last blood draw." "I expect the people who work for me to rise to a challenge." "Unless they don't expect to work for me." "Last blood draw was at 6:00 A. M." "Sugar levels never rose above 120 all night." "So the glucose was normal." "Means you were wrong about diabetes." "Itill think it's the endocrine system." "Maybe I just got the wrong gland." "So you're going for thyroid instead pancreas?" "Makes sense." "Fine." "I'm not playing racquetball with wilson." "I was never playing racquetball with wilson." "I have never played racquetball with wilson." "I thought it would be helpful if a department head owed me a favor." "But it's not worth this." "Not bad." "You put on a good show." "You studied up." "Wilson actually booked a court." "you'd know that you were holding a squash racket." "then go grab a nap in one of the on-call rooms." "We're taking you to do a thyroid reuptake scan.We think your" "I'm not going a until you explain why my daughter has a bandage on her hand." "You just said you wanted to run some test." "no." "It's a mild burn." "we needed to make sure" "She has no disality." "you know about her problem with auditory processing." "Auditory processing"?" "That's code for "I can't stand thinking my daughter's not perfect." "The therapist said marika's test scores" "Were indeterminate.She doesn't have a disability." "She day dreams." "She gets below-average marks in school because she's below average." "Every parent thinks their child's "above average." "Nick!" "Do you have any idea what the word average means?" "Somebody asto be under it." "shut up." "honey..." "I'm not saying you're stupid." "and she does great." "this is why I told your mother to keep you at home." "Didn't want you here." "Marika!" "wait!" "Get her..." "You're burning up." "And your lungs are full of fluid." "We need to get it out." "stat." "His temperature is 103." "Infection." "The steroids must have forced it into the open." "What kind of infection?" "It could be anything." "strongyloides... get a history." "We've got a history." "He hasn't been out of the country." "Get a detailed history." "No one at home is sick." "No one at work is sick." "There's no sign of ticks or mosquitoes." "Get a more detailed history." "Ask him again." "And againuntil he remembers something." "Not you." "Kutn can do it." "You're gonna be busy with something else." "I'm here to invite you to lunch." "why?" "I've been made." "House sent me back to you as a double agent." "Anything wrong?" "Eyes are a little red." "There's a shocker." "I haven't had a good night's sleep since this thing started." "You should get some rest yourself." "That's a good idea." "This is going to take some time." "It'll be pretty exhaustive." "Are you afraid of what you might say while I'm here?" "Yes." "Are you telling me there's something worse than what I've already heard?" "I-I don't know what I'm gonna say." "I don't know how I'm gonna hurt you next." "I think we should be around each other as little as possible right now." "This is pathetic." "I know." "Tell marika I love her very much." "S understands that." "I don't think she does." "You're just saying that to make me feel better." "Yeah." "Guy leads a boring life." "They stay home a lot." "no nearby standing water." "You sound pleased about something." "Can we get to that part?" "His wife rescues dogs." "a big rottweiler who's taken over the house." "Our patient hates it." " Was the wife there to hear is?" " No." "Too bad." "Keep going." "The dog marks his territory all over the living room." "I asked what the odds were that he would have put down food or drink where the dog could reach." "He said he put a glass of juice on the floor while he was fixingthe television." " The dog was fixing the television?" " Y." " The patient's eyes red?" " Yeah." "I'm thinking well's." "Bacterial." "He lucked out." "Start him on doxycycline." "we'll know we were right." "I told wilson you sent me to get information." "And now you're telling me." "a quadruple agent?" "He let me print out his e-mails." "Excellent." "Information he wants us to have." " Did he let you print out his deleted e-mails?" " No." "Then go back there" "I thought I'd print 'em anyway." "Top one's the one you're looking for." "Writing to confirm wednesday at 7:00 P.M." "It's out goingto jgonzalez@nymcy." "Net." "There's a joan gonzalez in oncology." "It's a consult." "7:00 P." "joan is perky." "You're wrong." "There was a patient file attached." "Where?" " It was password-protected." " No." "Wilson doesn't password-protect his patient files. and he knows there's only one patient I'd want to check on." "You think wilson's sick?" "there'd be no reason for him to drive three hours to manhattan." "He could pull strings here and get the best trement." "Six articles by gonzalez. suicidal ideation in children with leukemia." "but have you ever had reason to think he might be depressed?" "No." "Get out of here." "Your fever's down and your lungs are clearing." "How long before this brain thing goes away?" "but the damage the infection did... you'll have to live with." "You're telling me you can't fix this?" "There's gotta be a way. buit's too close to the brainstem to risk surgery." "You can't risk it." "and mae some better doctors at a better hospital" "The brain stem ntrols the body's involuntary systems." "The slightest mistake could kill you." "you may never be able to breathe on your own again." " You may never" " I get it." "I know this seems like a lot to deal with right now." "But people have adapted to living with all kinds of neurologica deficits." "at least we can promise you it won't get any worse." "Get the hell out of my room." "taking a walk." "Is there an emergency?" "I don't know." "Is there?" "You never take a walk unless you've got something you need to think about." "Maybe you just don't have a good statistical sampling of my walks." "The other thing you do when you need to think is you come to my office." "this is something you can only discuss with gonzalez at new york mercy." "Taub." "Another graduate of the house school of being a dick." "Private dick." "but I need some hot coffee." "Of course you need hot coffee." "and you left your coat upstairs." "Why?" "You're going to tell me why I forgot my coat?" "thecold would have reminded you." "but you didn't." "You chose to be uncomfortable." "Why would someone choose that?" "Because they hate themselves?" "it might notbe meant as a challenge?" "It might just mean that I'd like there to beone molecule of my life that goes unexaminedby gregory house." "Nick greenwald." "I hear you're the guy in charge." "I'm the patient with the disinhibition." "you're welcome." "Now go away." "I'm not thankful." "I'm pissed." "all the more reason to go away." "They're talking about sending me home." "To what?" "A life where I'll continually drive away anyone who might for a second care about me?" "Those are the brakes." "You could operate." "You could die." "So I'm either better or dead?" "I'm okay with that." "I-I've always been kind of A... an impatient guy." "But I've worked hard to keep my mth shut." "I've made my wife happy." "I've made my little girl happy." "I want that back." "it's no life." "I want you to remove small problem." "I'm not a neuro surgeon." "But your boss is." "You could assist." "I'm sure you'd like to add to your resume." "It's too near the brain stem." "Nobody's gonna touch it." "Your boss would." "He's an egomaniac." "I know 'cause I keep seeing him at the club." "He just needs a little push." "I'm sure by now you've kissed his ass sufficiently." "Would you like me to phrase it as "you're politically gifted"?" "I can do that." "You want me to help you?" "Tell me why." " Why what?" " Why you care." "The puzzle's solved." "The guy's alive." "And the odds of coming out of this surgery with that same status weren't that great." "My patient has a quality of life issue." "He says awful things." "Hardly a medical condition." "he's going to lose his family." "He's gonna alienate the people he works with." "he'll be lucky." "Until he drives them away too." "I'll see what I can do." "You've apparently got this whole coat thing backwards." "I may have over reacted." "You definitely overreacted." " I knew you'd meet me halfway." " It made me think." "You only snap on one subject:" "Losing people." "So I went back to the intel. but there's a javier gonzalez who's a nurse in the psych ward." "And who could you lose who'd end up there?" "Maybe the reason I don't always open up to you is because it's redundant." "Daniel wilson." "it's amazing how much stuff you can learn on the phone." "if you're a doctor and you lie freely." "They found your brother sleeping in the lobby of an office buiing in manhattan." "and e cops took him to the mercy psych ward." "There have been new anti-psychotics developed since he ran away." "He's been on them for a couple of days." "he should be in shape to talk to me." "But you're not sure if he wants to." "I'll be in new york in a few hours." "I guess I'll find out." "Why wouldn't you tell me this?" "you and I... we don't have the normal social contract." "I don't expect you to tell me the lies" "I am fully capable of lying to you." "I've lied plenty of times." "collaborative lies." "Giving someone a hand who maybe needs to deceive themselves just a little." "For two days I've been thinking about how danny's gonna react when he sees me. don't worry.It'll all be all right." "You wodn't." "Because it might all go horribly wrong." "Yeah." "it might." "you might want some company." "Your heart's beating." "First hurdle past." "Now we need know if you can breathe for yourself." "thank god." "do you know who you are?" "Nick green wald." "Former S.O.B." "Thank you." "Now I can go back to my beautiful life with my beautiful wife." "Maybe she'll stop whining and cut me some slack now that I've risked my life." "Doesn't make sense." "We removed the problem." "We removed the damage." "Maybe we were wrong about the problem." "I need to believe we can get through this." "Temperature's 94.5" "Do you really think I'm stupid?" "you're not stupid." "You' just-- please don't do this." "It could be the effect of the surgery." "nick what do you think of what I do for a living?" "I think people who publice important things are people who can't do important things themselves." "stop." "Don't." " Do you regret marrying me?" " 94.2" " Sometimes.Everybody wonders" " Get me a heating blanket." " Do you even love me?" " Yes." "I don't know why." "wait.Let me" "V-tach." "Get me the paddles." "Clear." "Echo says his heart is structurally fine." "But his temperature is still dropping." "He's headed for hypothermia." "I can't reach house." "It just goes to voicemail." "It means we were wrong about infection." "His temperature's just going up and down because something's playing with his thermostat." "Which means the brain damage is spreading." "heart and kidneys?" "Cancer?" "We could text him." "colonoscopy normal." "Do a full body scan." "House hates full body scans." " House isn't here." " House is right." "Everybody's got three or four meaningless anomalies that'll come up on a scan." "Chasing each one will take time we don't have." "Feel free to send him an im." "You told me you saw your brother once." "After he disappeared." "13 years ago." "I used to go to princeton whenever I could." "I must have hit every homeless shelter in town. and there he is." "He was gone by the time I got outside." "That's why you wereo eager when I told you there was a job at princeton." "I thought it was just my charm." "That's the team." "Shouldn't you answer?" "They already texted me to s they're doing something stupid." "There's a small abdominal eurysm." "Irrelevant." "What else you got?" "Cyst in the pleura around the lungs." "Also irrelevant." "Couldn't cause any of the sympts." "There's a density in the liver." "Could be vascular malformation." "screwed-up blood flow would explain erything." "We can only spot them with angiography." "We'll have to do targeted scans with contrast and then embolize each one." "Can we do that before he freezes?" "We'll find out." "The spell-correct on kutner's phone has got a hair trigger." "or the patient has a cyclone in the floral of his lungs." "and you left your coat behind." "Go ahead." "I think you were punishing yourself." "I think you wanted to feel what it would be like be homeless a new jersey winter." "That tells me guilt." "That tells me something happened." "The schizophrenia started when he was a teenager." "When he was in college. or he'd fight with his roommates because he never showered." " Where were you?" " Med school." "He called me every day." "Talked for hours." "I didn't have hours." "Interesting." "Later for that." "Go on." "danny called-- upset about something." "I had to study for an exam." "So I-I hung up... ok my things." "I went to the library so I wouldn't have to hear the phone ring." "I wonderhow that turned out." "My mother called me the next day." "Danny had run away and left his meds behind. because he'd be so detached from reality. and the universe immediately smacked you down. you decided never to be that careless again." "You don't think that's a little facile?" "I don't." "I think you did it consciously." "You developed your people-pleasing talents the way an olympic athlete develops his muscles." "Talk about an overreaction to a single event." "It was a pretty big event." "Hanging up the phone?" "That's what you're blaming all this on." "That's the behavior you've been trying to correct." "As though nothing else went wrong in your brother'life." "he overreacted too but... his glucose was normal." "are we?" "It's house." "Adms don't explain his glucose." "Since this is significant moment in my life and all..." " Yeah." " I think I'll just go in then." " Explain that." " Right." "You'd given him steroids." "His glucose should have been elevated. it's an irrelevant cyst." "it's a relevant fibroma." "He has doege-potter syndrome." "wering his glucose." "It doesn't explain the organ failure orhe brain damage." "This whole thing is an overreaction." "That one small fibroma." "but his by'sacting like it's an invader." "attack his other systems." "he'll be a happy hypocrite again in no time." "Maybe I should call a cab." " Your wife's probably just late." " Yeah." "I'm sorry about... you know... the things I said." "I have a copicuous nose." "It suits your face." "I'm sorry I'm late." "Traffic." "I have some good news." "and then you got sick." "It didn't seem like the best time." "I've been offered a better position." "I'd be coordinating cancer areness walks in three cities." "That's great." "Congratulations." "I know you've worked hard for this." "Thank you." "Is marika okay?" "I'm sure she's moved on." "Kids are so resilient." "You okay?" "I'll be seeing danny again next week." " I'd like you to meet him." " Sure." "He sounds interesting." "Go on." "I thought seeing him again would change everything." "It would be wonderful or terrible." "Instead... we're just strangers." "It's kind of anticlimactic." "Which is better than terrible." "Go on." "Does it bother you that whave no social contract?" "My whole life is one big compromise." "I tiptoe around everyone like they're made of china." "I spend all my time analyzing:" "What will the effect be if I say this?" "Then there's you." "You're a reality junkie." "you'd smack me over the head with it." "Let's not change that." "Kay. but only because... it makes me feel better..." "It is kind of fun watching you torture yourself." " Do you think things will work out with my brother?" " No." "it won't be your fault." "house." "You doactually like monster trucks." "Aolutely."