"[MOUSE SQUEAKS]" "[PENGUINS CHIRP]" "[ALL CHEERING]" "[SCREECHES]" "♪ Adventure Time ♪" "♪ Come on, grab your friends ♪" "♪ We'll go to very distant lands ♪" "♪ With Jake the dog and Finn the human ♪" "♪ The fun will never end ♪" "♪ It's Adventure Time ♪" "BUBBLEGUM:" "In the kingdom of Ooo, there is a galaxy of flavors, but only one taste sensation is amazing enough to kill for -- the Royal Tart." "Royal Tarts are very rare." "They are only eaten at the most sacred gathering in Ooo " "The Annual Back-rubbing Ceremony." "The tart is so legendary that countless thieves will risk their lives for just one bite." "My head will be decapitated if the tarts don't make it to the ceremony." "I only trust one guy to deliver them -- the Royal Tart Toter." "BOTH:" "Oh!" "He's magnificent!" "He used to be, but he's gone mad and old." "So he can't deliver the tarts anymore." "Cinnamon Bun offered to fill the position, but he's kind of... half-baked." "CINNAMON BUN:" "Hey, Princess!" "Here I go!" "[GRUNTING]" "I'm stuck." "Princess, let us deliver the tarts." "Are you sure, Finn?" "This is really important." "FINN:" "Princess, I have never been more sure of anything in my whole life." "I'll do anything it takes to keep you alive and safe." "We won't let you down." "Well..." "I accept your offer." "[SQUEAKING]" "Welcome to the tarttorium!" "Wow!" "BOTH:" "They're so beautiful." "No, boys." "Those are the reject tarts, full of imperfections." "These are the perfect tarts..." "[SMOOCHES] ...safely packed into one of my antigravity tote chambers." "BOTH:" "Tote sweet!" "Now, I want you to tote those tarts through that tunnel." "The Royal Tart path takes you directly to the Royal Congressional Hall in the Badlands." "The path is really safe and well protected, but keep your eyes peeled for any sign of danger, okay?" "Mm-hmm." "Yep." "Good." "Now, here's your map." "Hey, Princess, what are all these bubbling chemicals all over the place?" "That's paralyzing potion, Finn!" "Don't touch it." "It'll paralyze you forever!" "[LAUGHS]" "Oh." "Thank you, boys." "And remember, my head is on the line." "All right." "Let's hit it." "Wait." "I got a sick plan." "[HUMMING]" "[BOTH LAUGH]" "Go!" "Okay." "Bye!" "Bye-bye!" "Bye-bye, now!" " Goodbye!" " Bye!" "Bye!" "Ha!" "That was fun." "But Why'd you do it?" "Look, everyone expects the tarts to be on that Royal Tart path." "Cinnamon Bun will be our decoy while we take the one path no thief would expect a tart toter to take -- the desert of doom!" "JAKE:" "I guess this is it." "Huh." "Not as scary as I thought it'd be." "Yeah, man." "Mostly, it just looks empty." "I mean, what thief would ever hang out here?" "There's nothing to steal." "You know, I think my plan might be kind of brilliant." "I mean, I'm not saying Mn brilliant, but it's a pretty brilliant plan, I think." "JAKE:" "True, true." "This place is perfect for toting' tarts." "Yeah, and the back-rubbing ceremony is right over those mountains." "This tart tote is gonna be a total cakewalk." "[LAUGHS] Yeah." "Whoa!" "Wait!" "Hold up!" "What is it'?" "Shh!" "[SNIFFS]" "It's a campfire -- close by." "[GASPS]" "Does it smell like a tart thief s campfire?" "Maybe." "We better check it out." "Can't be too careful." "D-don't burn it, now, Grimby." "Hush." "[EXHALES SHARPLY]" "I ain't gonna burn it." "Crud!" "I was sure we'd be safe in the desert of doom." "What?" "What you saying?" "Those are dirty tart burglars." "I think they're just dirty hobos." "No, man." "They are cold-blooded tart destroyers, and we have to get them before they get us." "Why'?" "They're gonna kill Princess Bubblegum by stealing our tarts." "Oh, yeah." "But how come J.J. gets to hold it, Grimby?" "[GROWLS]" "[ALL GASP]" "Aah!" "Ooh." "Ow." "Yeah!" "Go on!" "Get!" "We'll mess you up crazy!" "You, listen up and tell your friends -- the next time you want to steal one of our tarts " "[GASPS] You got tarts?" "You know we do!" "And the next time you want to steal one, you picture this guy right here chewing on your brain." "[ALARM BEEPING]" "What the... that thing's getting the tarts!" "Son of a..." "[LAUGHTER]" "GRIMBY:" "We're eating good tonight!" "Uh-oh." "Man, he got like five or six." "But my brilliant plan." "HOLO" " PENDANT:" "Incoming transmission from Princess Bubblegum." "What the..." "BUBBLEGUM:" "Hey, Finn." "[SHRIEKS]" "I'm just checking in using the Holo-pendant." "How are my tarts doing?" "They're, um..." "t-they're -- they're " "They're radical!" "No tart problems here." "Uh, yeah, right." "Everythings, uh, bazoobs." "[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]" "Oh, look -- Uh, somethings eclipsing the sun." "It's so dark now." "Finn?" "Finn?" "!" "[SIGHS] Oh, well" "I'll see you soon enough." "HOLO-PENDANT:" "Transmission complete." "JAKE:" "I think the plan went awry." "No." "All this was just some freak bad luck." "But we still got some tarts, and the princess is still safe." "Oh, yeah." "And who knows what kind of freaky things might have happened if we took the Royal Tart path?" "[CHUCKLES]" "Old Cinnamon Sun's probably got his hands full." "Bye." "Goodbye." "Bye-bye." " Hello." " Hello." "Shall I hold that for you, sir?" "Okay." "[WHISTLING]" "Shall I hold that for you, sir?" "Okay." "Shall I hold that for you, sir?" "Okay." "Shall I hold that for you, sir?" "Okay." "Shall I hold that for you, sir?" "Okay." "Shall I hold that for you, sir?" "Okay." "Shall I hold that for you, sir?" "Okay." "Shall I hold that for you, sir?" "Okay." "FINN:" "You know what?" "Even though it totally wasn't our fault, it's probably for the best that we lost those tarts." "Huh?" "How?" "Well, it's like a reminder to really stay sharp and play it extra safe." "For instance, take this scary cavern here." "No sane person would ever bring a tart down there, so..." "So no thieves." "Exactly." "You are on a roll today, buddy." "FINN:" "Pee-yew!" "JAKE:" "Yeah, pee-yew!" "[SNIFFS]" " FINN:" "Jake?" " JAKE:" "Yeah?" "FINN:" "Hey, man, did you just, like, sniff my butt?" "JAKE:" "Uh, just now?" "FINN:" "Yeah." "JAKE:" "No." "FINN:" "Huh." "All right." "[HUMMING]" "JAKE:" "Hmm." "Hey, Finn?" "FINN:" "Yeah, Jake?" "JAKE:" "Did you just, uh, lick me all the way up my arm?" "FINN:" "No." "JAKE:" "Hmm." "Strange." "FINN:" "Jake, let me see those matches." "[ALL GROWLING]" "[SHRIEKS]" "[GROWLING THUDDING]" "[BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY]" "Uh-oh." "Man, we got got." "There's only two left!" "What?" "!" "[BEEPING] Aah!" "HOLO" " PENDANT:" "Incoming transmission from Princess Bubblegum." "BUBBLEGUM:" "Hello?" "We blew it, man." "My plan sucked." "It sucked all along, but I was blinded by my hubris." "Now PB's gonna get got, and it's all my fault." "Whoa, whoa." "Take it easy, buddy." "We've still got two whole tarts left." "PB is gonna be fine." "[SNIFFLES] You really think so?" "Yeah, why not?" "Hey!" "Keep off them tarts!" "Huh?" "I said back off of them tarts." "Are you an imbecile?" "But I -- right the bazoobs now!" "Finn, he's got a laser gun!" "Yeah!" "That's it." "All right." "Now I got to book it to Nana's for brunch." "See youse later." "It's over." "PB's gonna get croaked." "Mm...yeah, or we could smash in there and stop Congress from chopping her head off." "You're right!" "Jake, let's go save Princess Bubblegum!" "[ALL CHANTING "CHOP!"]" "No!" "Aah!" "Huh?" "Another perfectly chopped tart!" "[ALL CHEERING]" "Let the Annual Back-rubbing Ceremony begin." "Dude, they're just slicing tarts." "And there's Cinnamon Bun over there!" "Hey!" "He must have delivered the decoys." "BOTH:" "The ones we poisoned!" "No!" "Princess, don't eat that tart!" "Okay." "Geez, Finn, I won't eat that tart." "I'll eat this other tart instead!" "Oh, Princess, no!" "The princess has been paralyzed." "I'm not paralyzed." "I'm gripped with the flavor!" "That means we must have been carrying the poisoned tarts all along." "[WIND WHISTLING]" "Yep, all part of my master plan." "Pbht!" "Whatever, man." "[CHUCKLES]" "BUBBLEGUM:" "Excuse me." "What is this about poisoned tarts and alternate plans?" "I-I -- all right." "Here it comes." "I had a brilliant plan to tote the tarts along a dangerous path, but I mucked it up." "[SIGHS]" "You ought to give this toter job to Cinnamon Bun." "He's the real hero." "[LAUGHS]" "[ALL CHEERING]" "Yeah!" "I'm sorry for not following your instructions and for lying to you about it." "Oh, Finn, I forgive you, 'cause I lied to you, too." "They weren't going to decapitate me." "I just said that so you guys wouldn't eat the tarts." "Oh." "So I guess we're even." "Uh, yeah." "I guess so." "[THUD]" "OLD MAN:" "Ladies and gentlemen, the Royal Tarts have arrived." "[ALL GASP]" "The old tart toter." "Nobody move." "He can't see or hear, but he can feel your movement." "Hello?" "Eat my tarts'?" "This cosmic dance of bursting decadence and withheld permissions twists all our arms collectively, but if sweetness can win -- and it can -- then I'll still be here tomorrow to high-five you yesterday, my friend." "Peace." "Sheesh." "Blah-la-luh." "[BIRDS CHIRPING]" "Hey, Jake, give me some of that apple." "Coming up." "I know what you're thinking about." "Huh?" "Kissing" "Princess Bubblegum on the mouth!" "[SPITS]" "[BIRDS CHIRPING]" "No, I'm not!" "And I wouldn't even do that ever." "Yeah, you would." "You're just bad at talking to ladies." "Hmph!" "Ehggg-uh-ya-uh." "Uh, should I keep going, Mrs. Yoder?" "No, Finn, that's plenty." "Thank you." "Okay." "Let us know if you need anything else." "Hyah!" "You two are heroes!" "Hunh!" "Come on, dude." "Hey, do you hear that?" "She called us heroes." "[CHUCKLES]" "Yeah, I heard." "Huh?" "Hey!" "How's it going?" "!" "[GRUNTING]" "Ugh!" "Is that true, what the bird said?" "You guys are heroes?" "Why are you hiding in that shrub?" "Oh, I wasn't hiding." "I'm a Tree Witch." "I can turn into trees and shrubs and bushes and stuff." "Check it out." "[WOOD CREAKING]" "Bleh." "So, listen, I need you two heroes to get me a lock of Princess hair." "[SNIFFS]" "Why do you need Princess hair?" "Why?" "'Cause I have a balding problem!" "What, are you blind?" "Are you blind?" "!" "No, we're not blind." "I had no idea." "I didn't know." "Anyway, I need the Princess hair so I can put it on my head." "And then I'll be beautiful." "Oh." "Well, we know lots of Princesses." "[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]" "Uh, can you, um, give us a minute?" "Yeah, okay." "Dude, I don't think we should help her." "Why not?" "'Cause she's a witch!" "Maybe she's a good witch." "Her?" "Are you kidding?" "Come on, look at her!" "[PLANT HISSES]" "If she was good, she wouldn't be so ugly." "Are you guys still talking?" "!" "So what do we do?" "Tell her we can't help her 'cause she's ugly?" "No, man, she'll kill us or put a freaky curse on us or something." "Let me get rid of her with some of my world-famous "smoove" talking." "Hey, sorry about that, girl." "Ahh." "You don't mind if I take a load off, do you?" "What were you guys talking about?" "How pretty you are." "Huh?" "We were just saying someone as pretty as you doesn't even need a full head of hair." "Isn't that right, buddy?" "Uh, yeah, totally." "Nuh-unh." "[CHUCKLES]" "Girl, if I didn't already have a G.F., I'd be on you like butter on toast!" "I don't mind if you have a" "G.F." "Oh." "Um..." "Dude, I don't think it's working." "Yeah, I think I'm making things worse." "Ah-ha-ha-ha!" "Hey." "What?" "How would you..." "court me?" "Um..." "Spaghetti dinner?" "Hmm." "Look, Lady, we can't help you get Princess hair." "Why not?" "Because we only help when someone's in danger." "Oh!" "Well, why didn't you say so?" "[CLEARS THROAT]" "Hey, uh, what's " "Yaaah!" "Hey!" "There." "Now someone's in danger." "I told you she was evil!" "Grrrrrr!" "Yaah!" "Unh!" "Oof!" "What, you forget I'm a witch?" "Maybe." "Well, maybe you should get me some Princess hair so maybe your friend doesn't get sucked into my bottomless bottom!" "Nyuh!" "Get some Princess hair!" "All right, fine!" "Wait!" "Uh, you -- you can't tell anyone why you need it." "What?" "Why?" "I don't want anyone to know I have a balding problem." "O...kay." "[PANTING]" "It's Princess Muscles' Castle!" "[PANTING]" "Hi, Finn." "Uh, hey," "Princess Muscles." "What brings you by?" "Um, you were the nearest Princess, and I need a lock of your hair." "I understand." "You do?" "Mm-hmm." "Aah!" "What are you doing?" "Trying to give you a hug." "Why?" "I want hair, not hug!" "Oh." "I see." "You want to take things slo-o-o-w." "No!" "I " " I'm here to save you!" "From your hair!" "It looks really bad!" "Cut it off, quick!" "Of course it looks bad." "If I had beautiful, shiny hair, no one would look at my muscles." "Unh!" "Hwuh!" "Come back when you want to get serious about loving me!" "[GROANS]" "I am terrible at talking to ladies." "Hmm." "Where's a Princess?" "Princess?" "Princess..." "Princess..." "Who's that?" "[SNORING]" "It's Lumpy Space Princess." "Does she live in the woods now?" "G-g-get away from my camp." "I'll cut you!" "Hrm." "I'm never gonna go back home." "Huh." "Wait." "Does she even have hair?" "[WIND BLOWS]" "She does!" "Well...hair is hair." "Oh, my glob." "What the stuff are you doing?" "Why are you cutting my lumps?" "!" "Because they're, uh..." "So -- [GASPS]" "I knew you liked me." "No!" "I don't!" "I-I'm just stopping by because " "Just admit it, Lover Boy!" "You can't resist me." "Well, if you want these lumps, you got to put a ring on it!" "Where's my ring?" "!" "Aah!" "I knew you liked me, Finn." "That's why you're running!" "Get in touch with your feelings, babe!" "[GROANS]" "What am I gonna do?" "Huh?" "A graveyard?" "Yes!" "There's got to be a hairy" "Princess in there that won't think I'm hitting on her!" "Princess." "Princess." "Princess?" "Ugh!" "Come on!" "Bingo!" ""Here lies Princess Beautiful." "She was so beautiful."" "Hey, that's perfect!" "And sort of macabre." "Oh, well." "[GRUNTING]" "Aha!" "Hi, Finn." "Ohh!" "What?" "What are you " "Please stop." "Where's her hair?" "!" "Thanks, Finn." ""Here lies Princess beautiful." "She was so beautiful..." "But died of baldness"?" "!" "Dang it!" "I'm gonna look so beautiful." "Invited to all the parties..." "[PANTING] Jake!" "Jake!" "I'm sorry, man." "Getting Princess hair is -- is impossible!" "They all just think I'm in love with them!" "Ugh!" "I can't do it." "You're gonna have to spend the rest of your life in this witch's butt." "Noooo!" "Eh!" "Quiet down!" "I'm daydreaming!" "Dude, if they think you like them, then use that." "Embrace it!" "Find the least terrible Princess you can, play her some music, cook her a meal, "Smoove" talk her until she likes you." "And then get the hair!" "Wait." "You mean like go on a date?" "Marry a Princess if you need to!" "Just get her hair!" "Aaaah!" "Jake!" "[JAKE MUFFLED] Go get the hair!" "Okay!" "Hold on!" "Princess Bubblegum!" "Hi, Finn!" "Uh..." "I need you to come with me!" "Why?" "I'm watering right now." "Just come on." "We don't have much time!" "What is this, Finn?" "We're gonna have a spaghetti dinner." "Whoa!" "Really?" "Where do we sit?" "Dyaaaaaaah!" "[GRUNTING]" "Um, Finn?" "[GRUNTING]" "Put your butt here!" "Hurry!" "Oh." "Hey, Simon, make it romantic." "[ROMANTIC VIOLIN MUSIC PLAYS]" "Ow!" "Here, shove this in your mouth!" "It's hot!" "Finn, I don't understa" "Please, Princess!" "Just stick it in your mouth!" "Well, okay." "[CHOMPING]" "You're lucky I love spaghetti!" "Um, Princess..." "Do you like me?" "Finn, of course I like you." "Really?" "Yeah!" "Yes!" "Now give me some of your hair!" "[CHUCKLES]" "Oh, Finn, that's sweet." "Sure, I'll give you some of my hair." "Here." "Take it, you cutie." "[GASPS]" "Thank you, Princess Bubblegum!" "My spaghetti!" "My cat had kittens, and I'm thinking of naming one "Little Whiner."" "What do you think?" "Is that a good name?" "Totally did it!" "Genuine Princess hair." "You hear that, Jake?" "[MUFFLED] Just give it to her already!" "All right, Lady, a deal is a deal." "Ahh!" "This isn't hair!" "It's Bubblegum!" "What?" "!" "It is Bubblegum!" "Well, I guess you failed." "Say goodbye to your dog." "Aaaah!" "Wait!" "What?" "If I learned anything today, it's that I'm awesome at talking to ladies!" "And, Lady, you are crazy ugly!" "Wha-a-a-t?" "JAKE:" "Dude!" "Having beautiful hair isn't gonna get you anywhere, because you're ugly, inside and out " "So ugly I want to throw up." "JAKE:" "Dude!" "No one will ever find you beautiful, ever!" "And it's got nothing to do with the ol' chrome dome." "It has to do with what's in here." "Can you get off my friend now?" "[JAKE CRYING] D-u-u-ude." "He's right." " JAKE:" "Huh?" "Well, don't get me wrong." "I know I'm ugly." "And evil." "[GASPS]" "But I thought if I had some beautiful hair," "I could learn how to love myself." "[SOBBING]" "Gee." "I feel kind of bad." "I don't." "Hey, witch!" "Does it have to be Princess hair?" "No." "Just beautiful hair." "Well, then, check this out!" "[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS]" "Ha ha-a-a-a-a-a!" "[GASPS]" "[GASPS]" "You'd really give me your hair?" "Sure!" "So..." "how do I look?" "Totally beautiful, inside and out!" "Thank you, Finn." "And now to use my hair for evil." "What?" "!" "'Cause I'm evil!" "[LAUGHS EVILLY]" "What did you want from me?" "Ohh " "Oh, no." "I think I fractured a branch." "[BOTH LAUGH]" "♪ Come along with me ♪" "♪ And the butterflies and bees ♪" "♪ We can wander through the forest ♪" "♪ And do so as we please ♪" "♪ Come along with me ♪" "♪ To a cliff under a tree ♪"