"After the novel by Hjalmar Söderberg" "The years have passed." "Everything around me has changed." "Good evening, Dr. Glas." "All the places I knew so well–" "–all the friends I had–" "–are gone." "Only memories remain." "Old photographs of me." "I see nothing clearly–" "–except for the past." "The shadowy existence I led many years ago." "I still lead it." "The clergyman." "His face is following me." "Why I have to meet that clergyman at 7 o' clock again?" "Looking at him reminds me of a certain story about Schopenhauer." "Schopenhauer is sitting in his favorite café and there is an unpleasantly looking man across the room from him." "Saying nothing, he walks over to the man and hits him repeatedly over the head with his cane–" "–only because of how he looked." "But I am not Schopenhauer." "– Good evening." "– Why, good evening, reverend Gregorius." "Is there anything wrong?" "You are looking exhausted, Dr. Glas." "Well, it is probably the heat." "And how are you, reverend Gregorius?" "I am not that well." "My heartbeat has become irregular." "Sometimes at night I get a feeling that it is going to cease." "That is good news." "You may very well die, you old scoundrel." "Then I will not have to see you anymore." "Come to my practice some day and we will have a listen." "Oh, thank you." "I will." "Well, as I said, it is my heart that is the problem." "In the night time I get a feeling that it is going to cease." "But there is no use in complaining." "If it is the Lord's will, then all I can do is to obey it." "Do you know that story about an old Chinese Mandarin?" "You can end his life at the push of a button–" "–and you will get his inheritance." "Would you do it?" "– Good afternoon." "– Good afternoon, Doctor." "– Please, after you." "– No, no." "Go ahead." "Good evening, Dr. Glas." "Beethoven today." "Twelve–" "–thirteen–" "–fourteen–" "–fifteen–" "–sixteen–" "–seventeen–" "–eighteen." "Even if I would, I could not, for I have my duties." "Certain duties as a doctor that tell me to respect human life–" "–even the youngest, the unborn." "You are asking me to take away a human life." "Next patient, please." "Good day, Mrs. Gregorius." "Please come in and take a seat." "Never mind." "I will be leaving." "It is only–– It is only my throat." "I have a sore throat, you see." "But it is almost back to normal now." "But the doctor seems busy." "I will–– Excuse me." "I will be back." "– Any more patients?" "– No." "You may go home, then." "Good day, Dr. Glas." "How nice to meet you." "It has been quite a while." "Charmed." "How are you?" "A pregnant woman is a dreadful sight." "Why does it always have to be that way?" "Why must a love so beautiful one day turn into dirt and welted leaves the next?" "Am I a fool to think that you are a bit in love with me, Miss Märta?" "One can tell that you love." "What if I let her love me?" "One wants to be loved." "And if not loved, admired." "And if not admired, feared." "And if not even feared, at least despised." "But one wants above all to be loved." "You must excuse me." "You have to help me, Doctor." "Could you tell him...that I am ill?" "So that he can not–" "–excercise his martial rights." "I feel so repulsed by my husband." "Rights..." "How on earth did you figure out that man has its own––" "What you refer to as marital rights, Mrs Gregorius–" "–has it always been repulsive to you?" "It has always been difficult." "But now–" "–now it is unbearable." "Have you told your husband this?" "Asked him to excuse you from it?" "Yes." "Once." "He answered with an admonition." "We can not know whether it is God's will to give us a child–" "–so it would be a sin to cease with that which God wants us to do." "I am unfaithful." "I care for–" "–another man." "It is so dreary to walk alone–" "–year in and year out in the same old tracks." "But my conscience forces me to." ""I feel so repulsed by my husband."" "Why, of course I want to help you, and I will help you." "I will talk to your husband." "This must be very unpleasant for her." "– Indeed, tremendously–– – Nothing for me, thank you." "However–" "–separate bedrooms are out of the question." "I want to make that clear." "That would appear–" "–strange, in other people's eyes." "People could start talking." "I am certain that you–" "–put your wife's health first, Reverend." "I am very hopeful that she will be well again." "How long time–" "–does the doctor think she needs?" "It is difficult to say, but I believe that she will need–" "–about six months of continence." "After that we will see." "Life, I do not understand you." "The days come and go." "One day is just as the other." "Where are we going?" "How will it end?" "––were reported to have drowned while swimming yesterday." "One of the girls was proclaimed dead." ""You have to help me."" ""I have such faith in you."" "Good morning, Dr. Glas." "Mr. Markel." "Let me buy you a drink when you are done, Glas." "I like him." "In contrast to most other people–" "–he knows who to give himself a good time." "He is ambitious, too." "He is a godsend to us in the press." "And a godsend to the women, right?" "What women?" "All of them." "He can pick and choose." "If you had the choice, what type of woman would you choose, Glas?" "I for one prefer the ones who are sixteen, slim, dark and warm." "Exactly sixteen, yes." "There can be no margin." "Sixteen?" "No, I don't know." "I prefer the ones who––" "– Plump, chubby, a little round." "– 22-year-olds." "I prefer the ones who like me." "I have to be on my way." "You were paying, were you?" "Thank you." "Last night he raped me." "He came into my room." "He woke me up." "He told me–" "–that it was my duty." ""God help us," he said." "He can not behave that way." "He is a hypocrite of great proportions." "I think that–" "–he has gotten used to–" "–using God for–" "–his own interests–" "–and for fulfilling his own wishes." "I know many clergymen." "They all do it." "I hate them." "Have you considered divorce?" "That is never going to happen." "He is a clergyman." "He would never agree to a divorce." "I could kill that man." "You must not talk like that." "You do not mean that." "Be on your guard, Reverend." "My conscience is completely different from yours." "I am my own judge." "And then one day Reverend Gregorius proposed to me." "I–– I just could not understand it–" "–and I cried." "I was absolutely, positively not in love with him." "Nobody forced me, nobody–" "–tried to–" "–convince me." "There was just something in his character that–" "–broke my will–" "–which is why I say–" "–I think it was the Lord's will." "It is impossible." "Be on your guard, Reverend." "Please, come in." "– Well, I would like–– – Please, take a seat." "I would like–" "–the doctor's opinion of the Holy Communion matter." "All the papers are writing about it." "I assume you have read about it." "What should be done to reduce the risk of infection at the altar?" "Should people use individual goblets?" "That has been suggested." "Everyone brings their own." "But it could be a class issue." "Rivalry in the house of the Lord." "One man brings a silver goblet, another brings a shot glass." "No." "Capsules!" "Capsules?" "Capsules." "There are those who say that the blood of our Savior–" "–is more hygienically given through capsules." "Come to think of it, these novelties–" "–always make me hesitant." "Bacilli also make me hesitant." "What is wrong with capsules, really?" "It is not the bread and wine that are crucial, it is one's faith that is." "Please remove your shirt." "Is it serious?" "This is strange." "Let me listen again." "Let us be honest now." "The reverend may remember that I gave him some advice last time." "Had I known then the condition of the reverend's heart–" "–I would have adviced you more severely." "For your wife, it is a matter of temporary health–" "–but for the reverend himself–" "–it is a matter of life and death." "My prescription is simple and easy–" "–separate bedrooms." "I know that the reverend is not fond of the idea–" "–but I think that I as a doctor have the right to speak freely of these matters." "I want to stress the fact that you are an old man–" "–a clergyman." "I do not think clergymen react differently than other men." "You see, it is not the utmost satisfaction of the desire–" "–that poses the danger here–" "–but a recurring proximity to a woman–" "–in general, and at night in particular." "How old are you, Reverend?" "53." "53 years old." "A crucial age." "Now, if you were an old debauchee–" "–you could just righfully say–" "–"Why bother, as long as I can enjoy life's–" "–"generosities?"" "But since I know that is not your philosophy, Reverend–" "–I am telling you this." "It is my duty as a doctor–" "–and I do not think that the reverend–" "–fancies the idea of a sudden death." "I will also prescribe you a couple of capsules, Reverend." "Oh God." "Our Father who art in heaven–" "–Hallowed be thy name." "Thy kingdom come–" "–Thy will be done–" "–On earth as it is in heaven." "Give us this day or daily bread–" "–And forgive us our debts–" "–As we also have forgiven our debtors–" "–And lead us not into temptation––" "This warm weather may not be good for you, Reverend." "I suggest–" "–a six-week stay at a spa–" "–perhaps Ronneby or Porla." "I imply that you go alone, of course, Reverend." "Yes, we will–" "–get this under control." "How will it end?" "Every day I think that my time has come." "Maybe even Death has forgotten me." "Life did nothing but pass me by." "I hope your mother will get well soon, Miss Märta." "Thank you." "I have to leave now." "Farewell." "Kiss me." "Be my husband." "Give me children." "Let me love." "Perhaps I should have married and fathered some children." "I should have fulfilled my duties." "Why, it is the shadow that wanted to be human." "So that is how he looked in the spring." "Do you really think–" "–that is something to strive for?" "To become a human." "Adding some zest to its dull soul?" "No, do not strive for that..." "That will not bring you any more joy, will it?" "." "Will it?" "Ready?" "En garde, now." "Is it serious?" "It is not serious, but it is dangerous." "Let us take a Communion capsule." "Do I need surgery?" "I believe so, but it is quite simple, using a paper-knife." "He has been dead for exactly two hours." "Doctor Glas." "Good morning, Dr. Glas." "That thing again?" "Forget about it, forget about it!" "I would like to help–" "–but I cannot." "You see, the only help one can give––" "I am a doctor–" "–and it is my duty to sustain life at any cost–" "–even to take up pay for doing so." "But I do think that one day, we will be civilized enough–" "–to realize that the right to die is a privilege for us humans." "However, I despise pain." "I am afraid of it." "You can search yourself." "For example, if I had cancer, or were blind or defect, I would want to––" "Forgive me." "I am sorry." "I shall have to leave." "I do apologize." "Where are you going, Doctor?" "Calm down, or you may have a heart attack yourself." "Look!" "It is Mrs. Gregorius–" "–the woman who is married to that dreadful clergyman." "Is the clergyman with her?" "No, she is on her own." "He is still away, is he not?" "I hope she understands her purpose in life–" "–and thoroughly cheats on the clergyman." "I do not know about that." "She is probably religious." "There is no other explanation to that union." "I have not heard from him in a while." "People say he is looking for some rich maiden." "Oh, well–" "–whatever makes him happy." "What makes you happy, Glas?" "Have a taste." "– It does not surprise me." "– What does not?" "First of all, people do not strive for happiness–" "–but for sensual pleasure." "They seek the pleasure even though it goes–" "–against their own interests–" "–their abilities, their beliefs–" "–and their own happiness." "If one should ever use such a term as happiness–" "–then there are people who have no talent for happiness." "How?" "Wh–– Explain further, would you?" "Such people do not strive for happiness–" "–they are merely trying to–" "–bring style and form to their unhappiness." "You are one of those people, Glas." "A great responsibility." "I shall have to consult with a colleague." "And so it is done." "You see, Mrs. Gregorius–" "–generally, people stink only after they are dead–" "–and then you have to bury them." "But when people stink before they are dead–" "–you have to kill them." "That is the current scientific standpoint." "How will you bring clarity to this?" "Let us see how it is." "Let us use this candle." "First of all, a woman in need came to me–" "–and asks me for my help." "Nobody could know what events would occur." "But from her point of view, from which she made me see–" "–it was a matter of life, happiness." "Secondly–" "–I promised her to help her." "I do not like doing things by halves." "And I have known for a long time–" "–that I have not helped her–" "–until I have set her completely free." "The clergyman has to go away." "For ever." "You love her." "That is why you want to help her." "What reasons are there against it?" "There are not many." "It is just that I am afraid of punishment." "I am afraid of prison." "I am afraid of the clergyman." "I am afraid of the clergyman." "I am afraid of––" "–of myself." "If he haunts me now–" "–how much will he not haunt me when he is dead?" "And I am afraid of my own conscience." "It makes my legs bend." "It goes against–" "–my instincts and my sense of self-control." "I am fond of deeds like this one." "I would applaud it–" "–but let somebody else do it." "There are thousands of swift, sound, strong men that could–" "–kill a man without–" "–caring the slighest." "Let them do it." "Leave me alone." "Let me walk beneath–" "–trees in full bloom." "I want to see mountains and valleys." "I want to read a book–" "–and have thoughts most beautiful." "Why do you torment me?" "This is what I want." "Something else––" "I want to be praised for what I do." "He has to die of completely natural causes." "Heart attack." "At my practice." "She must not suspect anything." "At my house." "My pills?" "Yes, it is a new remedy." "Take one at once." "With a nice glass of wine–" "–perhaps?" "Three–" "–four–" "–five–" "–six–" "–seven–" "–eight–" "–nine–" "–ten–" "–eleven, twelve." "And then I will have to call for one of my colleagues." "Not him..." "Lindblom, perhaps?" "No." "He will know the smell of wine." "Water?" "Wine is unwholesome." "Water." "Yes, that is better." "Three–" "–four–" "–five–" "–six–" "–seven–" "–eight–" "–nine–" "–ten–" "–eleven, twelve." "Above all, I wanted to die." "I regret nothing." "But I want to die." "But still it is difficult." "We could not find any serious problem, Dr. Glas–" "–just calm down a bit." "– Good evening." "– Good evening." "– What a beautiful night." "– Yes, it is." "It has been a beautiful summer." "How is Reverend Gregorius?" "Well, he came home from Porla–" "–two days ago." "The man that you love–" "–how does he feel about all this?" "He cannot be too happy about the current situation." "He wants us to go away." "Do you want that too?" "Above all, I want to die." "His entire life is here–" "–his position–" "–his future–" "–and his friends." "So why would he want to go away?" "Has he talked about this matter for a long time?" "No." "Not until this evening." "We met here just before you came up here." "I am sorry for––" "This may be a tactless question, but–" "–has anything happened recently?" "Something unfortunate?" "It feels as though I have gotten everything–" "–that I should have gotten." "Everything that was due for me." "I can never be as happy as I have been–" "–these last weeks." "Not a day has gone by without my weeping–" "–but I have been so– happy." "I regret nothing–" "–but above all I want to die." "Your body knows that it will die one day–" "–but not now." "Not until–" "–it is worn out and old." "Maybe then." "But you do not want to die." "You just think you do because everything seems hopeless." "But you absolutely do not want to." "You have to let some time pass." "Things will be change must faster than you may think." "You will also change a good lot." "You are strong, you are healthy." "You are one of those who can grow and regenerate." "She must be set free in order to–" "–master herself and her child." "If only I had someone to speak with." "Of course, there are limits for–" "–what you can speak to your friends about." "Alone." "Completely alone." "Well, we are at least–" "–going to find someone to have dinner with." "Are we not?" "No, you are not fooling me." "– Miss!" "May we order?" "– Yes, please." "Good afternoon." "Well, good afternoon." "– May I sit down?" "– Yes, be my guest." "I was going to have a glass of Vichy water before dinner." "There is no harm in that, is there?" "The carbon dioxide is not good for you–" "–but a glass now and then–" "–will probably not hurt you." "Miss!" "And how was your spa trip, Reverend?" "Thank you, it was just what I needed." "Thank you." "– May I pour you a glass?" "– Yes." "I was at your house the other day, Doctor–" "–but there was nobody there." "You may come again tomorrow–" "–and we will see what we can do." "Are you medicating yourself, Doctor?" "I also have some heart problems." "I suppose I smoke too much." "This is a very efficacious pill." "It has been recommended by German medicinal journals." "I have tried it myself for a month–" "–to make sure it is efficacious." "You take one before meals–" "–to get rid of the dreadful palpitations afterwards." "– Would you care for one?" "– Yes, why not." "Thank you." "I will write you a prescription tomorrow." "Two–" "–three–" "–four–" "–five–" "–six–" "–seven–" "–eight–" "–nine–" "–ten–" "–eleven–" "–twelve." "– What is going on?" "– He is not breathing." "Has there been an accident?" "Who was he?" "So Reverend Gregorius is dead." "By a sudden apopleptic stroke–" "–at the Vichy water store in Kungsträdgården." ""One of our most renowned doctors–" "–"who by chance was present at the scene–" "–"could do little but verifify the death."" ""The deceased was a–" "–"farsighted–" "–"and sympathetic person."" "Oh, well." "We all must go some time." ""Beloved husband."" "Are you sure that you should go out–" "–when you are ill, Doctor?" "Be careful." "How very strange." "My life is increasingly getting mixed up–" "–with my dreams." "I can no longer keep them apart." "This is as warm and nice as hell." "Speaking of which–" "–I heard that they set your friend Gregorius to rest today." "Yes, I just came from the funeral." "I know that you do not care much about publicity." "The writer of the news item sensationalized it–" "–and put your name in there." "I thought it was unnecessary–" "–so I edited it out and rewrote it." "And while I was at it–" "–I put in a few good words about him–" "–"sympathetic", of course–" "–and "warm-hearted"–" "–since he suffered an apoplectic stroke." "Nicely done." "The truth, my friend–" "–is like the sun." "Its value is wholly dependendant–" "–on keeping just the right distance from it." "I said, "The truth, my friend––"" "I heard you." "I thought you had fallen asleep." "– Would you like to have dinner tonight?" "– Great idea." "Let us start with an ice cold snaps–" "–some olives, and some sardines." "Tonight we are having champagne–" "–extra dry." "But first a bottle of chablis for the sole fillet." "Sounds excellent." "Shall we?" "Is that Recke, sitting over there?" "He is taking his future parents-in-law out to dinner." "A beautiful rich girl has shown her interest in him." "Speaking of which, I met Märta the other night–" "–she talked about nothing but you." "And suddenly–" "–she went silent and blushed." "She is clearly in love with you." "Cheers." "It is Recke, I am sure." "Yes, it is Recke–" "–and the girl with him is the one I spoke of." "They say she has half a million kronor of her own." "He will fall head over heels in love with her–" "–and marry her for love." "And the money will come almost as a surprise." "My dear, this is your own matter." "You must handle it on your own." "I can not help you with this." "Perhaps it is not one's purpose to understand life." "Not to ask–" "–not to think." "I can not help you." "I have certain duties as a doctor–" "–that tell me to respect human life–" "–even the youngest, the unborn." "You are asking me to take away a human life." "We will pay you in cash." "– What is going on?" "– He is not breathing." "Has there been an accident?" "Who was he?"