"Your attention please" "This film has been classified as vulgar comedy" "It contains high amounts of coarse language, adult themes, political incorrectness, discrimination and sexual situations" "As such, this film has been rated one level higher than Parental Guidance:" "Parental Censure" "Any persons who are unable to accept these themes will be granted 10 seconds of screen time to leave the cinema" "As a result of seeing this film" "If any persons develop symptoms of emotional distress illness unhappiness or erectile dysfunction the film and the cinema would like to make clear that it's none of our fucking problem!" "Aiyah sorry, sorry, sorry!" "I didn't expect you to be so punctual" "I thought most film people are always late" "Personally, I am usually pretty on-time" "Not just during film shoots" "Even going to the cinema, I'm never late" "When you're watching a movie if you're late, you just miss a bit" "But when you walk to your seat you're blocking other people's view, asshole" "Let's start when the students are all here" "Isn't he cool?" "Arriving later than the professor" "OK, everyone." "All here?" "Then let's start" "I'm very pleased to have here with us today a film producer" "My old friend Mr. To Wai-cheung" "Please give him a warm welcome" "Oh, and please remember to turn off your cellphones don't disturb our little get-together" "Ah To - you don't mind me calling you that, right?" "Love it" "We have many students here from different departments but they're all interested in the subject of "producing"" "However, theory and practice are usually different Right" "So we hope you can share your experience with us" "We're recording this lecture, ok?" "Not a problem" "Alright!" "Let me ask the first question then" "Exactly what kind of work does a producer do?" "Professor, that's a good question" "Many people want to know that" "If you want to know what a film producer does then you must first understand his role in a film production" "Professor, may I ask you a biological question?" "Sure!" "What is the point of having pubes?" "Excuse me?" "Pubes!" "There are a lot of students here..." "Oh, yes." "Sorry" "Forgot that there are girls here too Yes" "Let me make it clearer" "What is the pubic hair's function?" "Don't say you don't know" "Pubic hair is very strange" "It looks ugly and sheds easily" "If you don't let it breathe, it'll stink" "If you're competing for Miss Hong Kong when you get to the swimsuit event some pubic strands may stick out of your bikini so embarrassing" "So how can something so ugly still serve a purpose?" "It does" "During sexual intercourse the bodies collide against one another which then generates friction" "The function of the pubic hair is to ease that friction" "Try shaving it off" "The next time you have sex you'll find that it really hurts" "Producers then are responsible for easing the friction between people" "A normal producer is like a patch of straggly pubes" "A good producer is like a great thick bush of pubic hair" "So my parents paid for me to study for four years just to learn how to become like pubic hair?" "Exactly!" "Not really" "You'll also get a diploma out of it too" "Let's get back to the subject then" "I have been talking about the subject" "Besides that handful of..." "I mean, producers also work in other areas" "For example, how do you find investors?" "That's another good question!" "Finding money is very important" "Once you have money you can fool around friction will then turn up" "So those thick pubes will come in handy again!" "Can we not always use pubic hair as an example?" "I'm sorry." "I only used it twice" "This is an institution for higher learning" "Why don't we talk about is it hard to find funding nowadays?" "There are many ways to find money" "Having a big studio boss is one way" "And lately product placements are quite popular..." "That's right, class!" "I know lots about product placement" "Let me explain it to you" "Product placement is now very popular" "During a movie brands promote their products using "soft sell"" "then the advertising is paid to the film company" "It's like killing two birds with one stone" "What's your question?" "Most product placements these days are too obvious" "As a producer do you accept money from anyone?" "In principle, yes" "But you must understand clients want their product onscreen for the whole film but the director doesn't want even a single shot" "As the pube.." "I mean producer" "I must mediate between the two sides" "You make yourself sound so smart but can you really appease both side?" "Hey!" "Good morning" "What's up with you?" "The traffic in Central is so bad in the morning" "It's crazy man!" "I didn't think that you'd show up to a presentation while wearing slippers!" "I have yoga class tonight" "This way it's easier for me to change clothes" "If you don't like it, I can go home and.." "You're in a rush" "Why don't I just go and buy a new pair" "That store's shoes are ok" "Oh shit!" "I forgot to bring my VIP..." "Without my VIP card, it means no discount" "Hey, VIP." "Why don't you just disappear" "Please just give me the director's synopsis" "Hold this." "He e-mailed it to me last night" "So I saved everything into this." "Hello Kitty USB" "Shall I go over the details with you first?" "No need." "Is it similar to the last version?" "Just tiny changes" "Fine I'll present it myself" "Nowadays, soft product placement for a multinational corporation's brand building is especially important" "Union, as the world's 4th largest insurance company it is even more crucial to build an international image" "In this story, the director is trying to present" "Union's status and significance in the global community" "Imagine Jay Chou as part of your company's insurance staff with a happy family and good career prospects" "Just think about it" "Jay Chou." "Such a suave guy wandering back and forth in front of your company logo" "As a female audience how can you resist buying insurance from Union?" "That's right, he accidently finds out that the company every year has over" "USD 10 million missing.." "Under Jay Chou's investigation he finds that this is connected to a huge international conspiracy" "It turns out that your company every year sends this huge amount of money via an offshore account directly to.." "Al-Qaeda?" "Yes, al-Qaeda" "Because... if the planes are covered by Union insurance and accidents occur and the planes crash your company..would ask the terrorist organisation to confess to the attacks" "Since terrorist attacks aren't covered by insurance therefore Union can then reject all claims from the victims' families" "Please.." "Everybody calm down" "Not everyone in the company is bad only the management" "To expose the truth, Jay Chou continues his investigation until he's stopped by the top brass" "In order to stop Jay" "Oh motherfucker" "They..even murder his wife and family" "And their insurance records are all confiscated and deleted by management" "To fight for justice and for his family's insurance claim he confronts Union's management and exposes the plot to the world" "Fine I won't try to justify this" "How about this" "I promise that your company logo will appear in this film for at least 10 minutes" "Sorry, sorry" "That doesn't work!" "It means you failed" "Indeed, it failed" "But each failure paves the way for success" "As a producer, you must be able to endure constant rejection" "Next" "What you're saying is being a producer is all about bragging" "There's no practical work" "You can say that" "But if anyone who brags can be a producer then Professor Cheng wouldn't be here" "It's a tough world outside" "That's right." "Since the stakes are so high that's why a producer should be able to sacrifice himself for cinema" "You make it sound so good" "So what have you sacrificed for cinema?" "You want to know what I have sacrificed for cinema?" "Can you please tell the staff to stop recording?" "If you stop recording, I'll tell you" "Turn it off, turn it off" "You really want to know what I've sacrificed for cinema?" "OK, I'll tell you now fucking scare your pants off!" "This is ridiculous!" "why didn't you tell me beforehand?" "I did, I told you this morning" "You said he only changed it a little bit" "Why is your work quality nosediving?" "You're driving me nuts" "Was anyone looking for me?" "Was anyone looking for me?" "Who?" "Fat Wei" "What did he say?" "You asshole, the cheque bounced three fucking times" "You smelly fucking.." "Got it." "Next" "Lawyer Tsang called" "Who is Lawyer Tsang?" "Your ex-wife" "You haven't paid alimony for three months" "If you don't pay it immediately don't even think about seeing your daughter" "Anything else?" "Lui Wing-shing called you from Guangzhou" "Really?" "Brother Wing-shing, looking for me?" "What's up?" "What are you up to?" "Nothing, still working on Blackie Tak's action film" "What?" "Still Blackie Tak, really?" "Hey, I know a boss in Guangxi" "Are you interested in a chat?" "Guangxi?" "Did he invest in movies before?" "Nope." "Guangxi gangster." "Triad head" "Got rich by smuggling rare golden turtles" "You're my sworn brother" "Why don't we give it a shot" "Do you have time to come up?" "If we can close the deal, he has cash" "Does he really have money?" "Bro, it's golden turtles, not wet market chicken" "Of course he's loaded!" "All these are yours" "Thank you so much" "When did you start running grey imports?" "Not really" "I just buy them to please the bosses" "How can I carry with just two hands?" "True" "You have no idea how in demand milk powder is" "Hey, is your boss really trustworthy?" "Asking us to meet here?" "Seems suspicious" "Hey, don't worry." "We're mates" "I know he's awesome" "Really?" "How did you meet him?" "At GaGa" "Guangzhou's GaGa Bar?" "Lots of girls there" "Yeah, but he still tried to compete with me" "He hit me over a girl" "But we ended with a friendship dinner" "Isn't he awesome?" "Shing!" "Brother Tyrannosaurus" "Brother Tyrannosaurus" "Let me introduce" "Sit!" "Sit!" "Sit!" "This is our Hong Kong movie producer, To Wai-cheung" "Big Producer" "Nice to meet you" "I'm sorry." "I should have gone to pick you up today but one of my enemies was just publicly executed" "See?" "He's dressed so smart today" "Of course!" "How can you not dress up for an execution" "Hey, let's not mention these the facade may seem shabby here" "But the best delicacies in Guangxi are here" "Let me order the best food for you" "Ho, tell the chef to bring out the dishes" "Big Producer" "Here in Beihai we don't go for those karaoke or saunas or massages" "We go straight to the point" "So let's give you a warm welcome" "Don't say anything." "Have some tonic first then it's time for fun" "Fun!" "Since you got all the way here it means you're my friend" "Obedience is better than politeness" "Cheers!" "Then let's drink up and be friends" "Sure, sure.Thank you, Brother Tyrannosaurus" "After tonight we'll be brothers-in-law" "Cheers!" "Cheers!" "Thank you, Brother Tyrannosaurus" "Thank you, thank you Cheers!" "Cheers!" "Cheers!" "Cheers!" "Can you explain what these dishes are?" "Let me introduce them to you It must be your first time" "This is braised rabbit head" "This is deep fried frog" "Ah, this one is fucking awesome" "A deep fried family of field mice the father, mother and the offsprings" "Eat the mother first" "This one's braised soft-shell turtle" "Look at it!" "The head looks just like you" "Just kidding!" "Let's have some soup!" "Let's have some soup!" "OK!" "Not bad." "This is chestnut soup Yes, vegetables" "What chestnut?" "It's bull's eye." "It's good for you!" "Ah here's the main dish" "It's called the dragon-tiger-phoenix delight" "Fucking amazing" "What does the dragon-tiger-phoenix refer to?" "Snake, cat and chicken" "Woah, cat?" "I can't do it" "Hey, when in Rome, do as the Romans do" "I fucking told you basket case so many fucking times" "Don't fucking disgrace me in front of my fucking guests" "Why the fuck are you always fucking up like this?" "Am I fucking right?" "When we have guests,always fucking let them pick first" "What the fuck did I tell you before?" "I'm so fucking sorry, Big Brother" "Why say that shit to me?" "Say it to Big Producer" "I'm so fucking sorry" "No problem Let's continue" "No way." "This is the rule" "You're our guest." "You first" "Actually I don't eat much" "You're fucking making us lose face" "Big Brother ordered this especially for you" "You want us to fucking lose face?" "Of course not." "It's just that I need to drive later" "These dishes must have been cooked with wine" "I get drunk easily" "What are you fucking scared of?" "If you get drunk and hit someone just say you know me, end of story" "Of course, better to not run over anyone too famous" "I told you he's powerful in Guangxi" "You can't get out of it." "Take some I'll try a little" "Tastes real gamey!" "You motherfucker!" "You fucking want Big Brother to lose face?" "I'm just not used to eating these" "We common people just eat common food" "Is there anything more normal to eat?" "Big Producer isn't used to eating these." "Don't force him" "Do you eat cow?" "Cow?" "Great!" "I love beef!" "Tell the chef to cook my signature dish" "Cheers!" "Brother Tyrannosaurus" "I'm so sorry" "Sorry, Brother Wah Tao." "Sorry, brothers" "Cheers!" "Quit talking bullshit" "It's truly delicious" "Hong Kong doesn't have beef this good" "So smooth and so soft" "Not too tough and not too rough" "And I never knew preserved vegetable tastes so good with beef" "The texture is sticky but it's easy to eat" "No tendons." "Better than those in Kowloon City" "What part of the cow is it?" "Is it the neck or the cheek?" "It's. cow bliss" "Cow bliss?" "What does that mean.." "Cow bliss is cow vagina" "You can't always order it But our timing is just right" "Think about it one cow only has one vagina." "It reduces once you cook it" "So guess how many cows you need to cook just one dish?" "Yeah Lucky that we have Brother Tyrannosaurus here today" "Otherwise there'd be more preserved vegetables than vaginas" "Still not fucking giving face to my boss?" "Drink it all!" "If you don't fucking finish it, don't talk to me" "Brother Tyrannosaurus, it's my fault" "I'll drink!" "It's alright!" "It's alright!" "That's good." "We've all been getting too worked up" "Let's enjoy mule pussy after dinner." "How about that?" "What is "mule pussy"?" "Never heard of it" "But you can tell from what thay say they're pussy crazy, so they should be dependable" "Brother Tyrannosaurus." "We Hong Kongers are ignorant" "What is "mule pussy"?" "You don't understand Cantonese?" "Mule pussy is the pussy of a mule" "How can that be?" ""Dragon-tiger-phoenix" means snake, cat and chicken" ""Cow bliss" is cow's vagina" "How the fuck can "mule pussy" mean mule's pussy?" "Why not?" "Big Brother." "It took us half a day to find it" "Hey, come in." "You're so damn late" "If you really know how to fuck then you'd know that mule pussy is the best" "Once you try it, you'll never go back" "It's true" "I didn't touch my girl for ages afterwards" "Why did you take so fucking long?" "Big Brother, the mule was easy to find" "But I thought of hanging a corsage on it to celebrate" "It's so hard to find a corsage!" "Which one would you like?" "You fucking asshole." "Don't push me anymore" "The whole night you forced me to eat all this shit" "You want me to eat cow's vagina?" "Fine" "But when I'm drunk you tell me to go fuck animals?" "!" "I'll kill anyone who tells me I should go fuck a mule!" "I've been putting up with you all night" "Don't think you're so special just because you've made movies" "I greeted you with exotic dishes and you didn't appreciate it." "Fine" "You wanted to eat beef" "I ordered beef and you still didn't appreciate." "Fine" "I treated you with sincerity but you made me lose face in front of my men" "You two had better settle this with us tonight!" "Brother, please listen to me" "Put away your gun first." "Put it back" "We are looking for money, not looking to make enemies" "We shouldn't get so upset because of a pair of mules" "It's not worth it, right?" "My friend got drunk." "Please forgive him" "Like back in GaGa" "I'll set up a friendship dinner." "How about that?" "I'll tell you now" "I, Tyrannosaurus, have never been so insulted" "I treated you with courtersy so you must fuck the mule first before you can leave" "You came today, you then need to fuck a mule" "Otherwise, I won't let you walk out of here" "Cheung, listen to me." "I'm so sorry" "Brother Tyrannosaurus, it's me who brought him here" "I'll do it on his behalf" "Both mules for me" "You think this is a wedding?" "The best man drinks the groom?" "One man on each mule!" "What's the big deal?" "Stop it!" "Stop it." "Let me speak" "Stop talking." "Listen to me" "I ask for one thing" "What?" "Can I have a pre-coital cigarette?" "Go ahead" "Cheung, as your buddy, I'm so sorry" "Lui, don't say that shit" "It seems like we can't escape this time" "How about I cover for you." "You run away first" "Fuck you." "Do I look like someone who'll do that?" "I have a sense of personal loyalty" "So... how about you protect me first while I run" "Fuck you!" "No matter what fucking happens, I promise you" "Whatever happens tonight, only you and I will know" "And the few of them and the two mules" "We won't say a word!" "Why are you talking so fucking loud?" "Are you proud of it?" "Are you two ready to fuck or what?" "Do you need to take so fucking long?" "I never realized before that smoking a cigarette lasts for such a short time" "If I can just puff on it for a little longer then it would be great" "If you've ever been to those old cinemas where there was a dress circle for midnight shows then you may have experienced the same thing" "Halfway though a show the film burns up because the projector got too hot part of a reel is missing" "There's no picture" "When you drink too much, you may also lose some footage" "You forget what happened to you and what you've done" "If it's something we really want to forget we can also force ourselves to lose some footage" "What the hell happened that night?" "I just remember us having dinner after that cigarette" "I don't remember anything" "But since then whenever I see a four-legged animal like a horse" "a cow a goat..." "I can't help but start flinching" "I try to make myself forget because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" "What happens in Guangxi" "I'd rather not think about it" "Hey, everything's fine" "Brother Tyrannosaurus thinks we did good last time" "He wants to invest in the film" "What?" "What film?" "The story he mentioned to you" "Damn!" "I'm really missing some footage" "I don't remember a thing" "What the fuck." "You already promised him!" "Fuck me." "What kind of film?" "I told you it was great!" "Once you try it, you will never go back" "See?" "These two fuckers are still savoring it" "Big Producer, since we're brothers now" "I don't mind telling you that since I was a kid, I've always admired film people" "You guys have talent and imagination" "How can we compare with you?" "It's nothing, really" "When I was a child in Guangxi" "I loved going to see Hong Kong movies" "What was my favourite film?" "Big Brother, your favourites must've all been pornos" "Do you need to say it?" "Of course!" "What was it called?" "Oh yes" ""Confession of a Concubine"" "Starring that erotic film star.." "Yum Yum Shaw, right?" "Yes, yes!" "I loved her since I was a kid" "Whenever I think of her, I'd want to jerk off" "Just mentioning her makes me hard" "Do you think we can make her come back and make a film?" "Do you have money?" "Of course!" "Then I know her very well!" "Great!" "Then just remake "Confession of a Concubine"" "I've even come up with a new title" ""Confessions of Two Concubines"" "If it makes money, then let's make" ""Triple Confessions of Concubines"" "If that also makes money, then we must make" ""Four-Way Confessions of Concubines"" "Good idea, no?" "OK it's settled You make it, I invest in it" "As long as you have money!" "You shoot..no." "You invest, we shoot" "It's bound to be good" "OK then let's do it" "Cheers!" "Cheers!" "Let's drink the whole bottle!" "The condoms we left for you" "Why didn't you use them?" "Did you bring your own?" "You need a condom to fuck a mule?" "Big Brother, how can you fuck a mule without a condom?" "Of course not" "Look at these crazy and reckless Hong Kongers" "So disgusting" "We'd better not use the same utensils" "Good fucking idea" "I think movies are just like fashion" "There are cycles" "Just like bell-bottommed trousers they were popular in the 70s" "But after a few decades, they'll become popular again" "Everyone has regrets about their first time" "But a second opportunity can come very fast" "Life is full of surprises" "When this second opportunity comes, you may ask yourself if I can do it again" "This time, how can I improve my performance?" "Today, your opportunity has comes" "What the fuck, Cheung?" "You've got to be kidding me" "I thank you for coming to me with a new film idea" "But I'm an old lady now, and you're still asking me to strip?" "Are you nuts?" "Don't scold me yet" "My big boss really loves you" "He saw you in "Confession of a Concubine" when he was a child" "If you're in "Confessions of Two Concubines", it'll surely be a hit" "When he was a child, right?" "Asking me to take off my clothes?" "Even if I say yes" "I'll just end scaring youngsters away!" "You asked me out for lunch I appreciate it" "You give me a new role." "I also appreciate it" "But please don't ask me to do this at my age so I won't get teased by people, ok asshole?" "But my boss said that we must have Yum Yum Shaw" "You see what kind of influence you still have?" "Ok, even if you deny it at least your presence still affect me" "It's fine if you don't help me" "But think about yourself" "Why not show off your beauty before it's too late?" "I'll treat you to this meal" "Please, I beg you, go play around with young girls" "But don't try to fool this old lady Eat!" "Daddy, what are you scratching?" "I'll scratch too" "No, Jacqueline" "Only low-lives scratch like that in public" "Mr. To" "I let you see Jacqueline because I have a meeting in Shanghai so I can't go with her to school" "No matter what, you're still her father" "After you meet her teacher" "I'll ask the maid to pick her up" "No way" "You're gonna leave her alone at night?" "She can stay with me" "The maid will look after her" "Why must the maid look after her?" "You'll let her sleep alone all night?" "Auntie Lin will stay with her" "Why must she stay with the maid?" "Our daughter isn't a horse trainer" "Daddy, why does a horse trainer need to sleep with a maid?" "Oh, because those horse trainers are desperate" "They need to work in the middle of the night" "When they finish work they have needs in the morning Enough" "Why do you say these things in front of your daughter?" "I'll send you Auntie Lin's mobile number" "After the parents' meeting..." "I want to stay at Daddy's place" "Lawyer Tsang" "I hope you will respect the wishes of the parties" "Thank you" "Jacqueline, Mommy can let you stay at Daddy's place" "But you must promise me something" "If you touch anything dirty there wash your hands immediately" "Clean with soap for 15 seconds while singing "Happy Birthday", OK?" "Call Mommy anytime if you have any problems or call Auntie Lin, OK?" "OK" "Are you done scratching?" "I don't know why it's so itchy!" "Come, let's go have ice cream" "To Siu-kuen's academic performance is really poor" "After going through her records" "She was ranked no.1 before she transferred here" "But now she's almost the worst student" "As her parent you should let her focus more on her studies" "Miss Cheung, she's been very focused" "You should reduce her activities outside of school so she can concentrate on her studies" "Such as?" "Like looking after her dog" "Impossible" "I cannot force my daughter to give up her dog" "When I was a child, I didn't have to study like this" "My mother didn't push me to study every night unlike her nasty mother" "What do you do, Mr To?" "I'm a film producer" "How about your wife?" "Barrister" "There you go" "Actually, our school is most concerned about our reputation" "If our students cannot reach a certain standard it will end up affecting us too" "Based on To Siu-kuen's academic performance things are not looking good" "Although Lawyer Tsang pleaded with our principal to take her in.." "Only her mother did the begging, not me" "Are you going to kick her out?" "Don't wait until next week" "I can go enrol her at Oxford" "Oxford?" "Oxford Road Subsidised Primary School" "I have never agreed with most of her mother's arrangements" "The average IQ is 120" "Our daughter's score is just two points more 122." "What's the big deal?" "But her mother had to transfer her from a normal school to your so-called genius school" "What's so great about a school for geniuses?" "The school's genius is in charging us $15,000 every month for tuition!" "My daughter was the top in a normal school, right?" "But she insisted on making her come last among geniuses" "Mr. To, you're wrong" "All parents want their children to do better than they did" "They want them to make friends with smarter people to upgrade themselves" "Of course, some losers like to be with people at their own level" "It makes them feel more comfortable" "Mr. To, you are one of these" "It doesn't mean To Siu-kuen needs to be like you, right?" "Miss Cheung, I don't know what the fuck you're saying" "Sorry" "Producer, you're back" "What's going on?" "Fat Wei brought them up here" "Fat Wei?" "Hey, Pang Lap-wei!" "What the fuck are you doing?" "All I owe you is some money" "Hey, you don't just owe me money, but all of us" "If you don't pay me, OK" "But the whole crew needs to make a living" "Who the hell are these people?" "Your place is so big, and you're not making a film" "So I rented out half of it for you and let these guys shoot some pseudo-models" "How else would you find money to pay people?" "Before, you would call me Producer this, Producer that" "Now I have no film, so you fuck me over like this" "Let Big Sis tell you something in this world, sometimes being big is not the most important thing" "Small can be cute too" "Look at me, pretty cute, no?" "What kind of writing is this?" "Producer To, do you remember me?" "Not really" "Popping Candy!" "Popping Candy?" "Maybe I do know you?" "You not only know me but you've tasted me too" "Wow, then I really totally don't recall" "What are you doing here?" "Well, after you said no to me on your last film, I took your advice" "Since I don't have much going on" "I became a part-time model" "Is this your company?" "Yes" "Why did your office become a studio?" "Just ask my friend, Fat Wei" "They wanted to find a venue for a photography club" "They couldn't find a space, so they begged me" "My place here is big, no it's not a big deal" "Daddy, Daddy" "Miss, I like your costume" "Actually I'm a nurse Isn't it pretty?" "So cute!" "I've never seen this type of nurse uniform before" "Daddy, I want one too" "Hey, wait until you grow bigger.." "I mean when you grow up first" "Who are you looking for?" "Blackie Tak" "Come in" "Thanks" "Producer" "Director, what are you doing here?" "Well, my friend opened this gambling den" "So he asked me to help him" "What is this place?" "A children's playground?" "Nowadays gambling dens are very user friendly" "Housewives want to play mahjong but who looks after the kids?" "So we hire maids to look after their children" "Do you remember Auntie Chau?" "She just left" "Auntie Chau?" "Yes!" "Excuse me" "Mrs. Leung, it's time for you to go home" "Let me finish" "Your husband will be back in half an hour" "What?" "OK, I should leave" "Yes, stop playing" "Really?" "Damn" "Billy, let's go" "How about the dishes?" "Maria has cooked them for you" "Your service is really perfect" "We always put our customers firsts" "Come early next time" "Don't, don't, don't" "Remember your husband is on leave this Thursday" "Behave yourself, OK?" "Bye bye" "OK Thank you" "Tak, what are you doing here?" "What can I do?" "The film market is so damn quiet" "How goes the sales pitch on our last project?" "How can I even sell it?" "I have always given you freedom" "But how could you write that they donate money to al-Qaeda?" "Why do you need cameras?" "It's just to be on the safe.." "Police, everybody freeze!" "We suspect you're running an illegal gambling den" "Who's the owner?" "There's no owner here" "I'm the production manager We're filming in here" "This is our director, our camera our extras, our lighting gears" "You dare to try and fool us?" "I've been watching you for the past two weeks" "You're filming the same scene every day?" "Your dialogue is the same every day?" "I've even recorded it" "Like "pong", "seung", "chow", "kong"" ""Aiya, I lost"" "And "Fuck you for such a risky tile"" "I'll let our director explain" "Sir, this is a gambling film" "The words, "pong", "seung", "kong", are required in the film" "And Sir, "Fuck you..."" "".. for such a risky tile"" "clearly expresses a gambler's rage" "How about the money?" "Fake money" "It looks this real?" "If it looks fake," "Hong Kong movies won't look professional" "You!" "What do you do?" "I'm the most miserable." "I'm the producer of this film" "Everyone squat down Pull out your ID cards" "Squat down.." "Pull out your ID cards" "You too" "Blackie Tak, you can't be like this your whole life" "You think I don't want to make movies?" "Just look at my name" "I've had bad luck for the last few years" "You've had bad luck for more than a few years" "But now your chance is coming" "An investor wants to remake a classic film" "I want you to direct it" "Really?" "Remake what?" ""Confession of a Concubine"" "Keep quiet" "Sorry!" "Sorry!" "Why are you alone?" "Where's Quin?" "She was in a rush to go to yoga, so she left first" "What the hell?" "hey hi." "My legs and arm are bent, my hands can't reach the phone" "Please leave your message after the tone Call you back" "Hey, don't just get bent out of shape." "Why don't you just oack up?" "How many times did I say your performance is nosediving?" "This is my daughter" "How can you leave her alone like this?" "Call me back!" "Daddy, I'm actually not alone" "Big Sis is with me" "Which big Sis?" "I can only find some biscuits" "Hey, you're back!" "Did you help me look after her?" "Yeah, I saw your assistant leave" "So I stayed to keep her company after the shoot" "I actually wanted to go down to buy something to eat" "But I was worried about her staying here alone" "Don't eat these." "Let's go out to eat" "Be careful It's hot" "At this moment, I find that I may have misjudged Popping Candy" "Before, I thought that at most she was a "wet nurse"" "but in fact she might turn out to be a good mother" "Daddy, I haven't slept at your place for so long" "Actually, I really want to sleep here" "Then you should tell Mommy that" "Mommy says she doesn't want me to see you so much" "Otherwise, I'll start becoming more like you" "She said your films are all Category Ill and they're not suitable for children" "The films you made before" "I actually told my classmates about them" "But none of them have heard of the titles" "Their families only let them go see stuff like "Lord of the Rings" and "Infernal Affairs"" "Daddy, what was the name of your last film?" ""Sudan Red vs. Malachite Green"" "But my classmates have never heard of it" "In this world, there are many kinds of movies" "Some are shot more expensively some are not so expensive" "Daddy right now's making movies that are not so expensive" "It's cheaper, so there's less money less promotion, fewer cinemas will show them so fewer people know" "But Mary who sits next to me said all film premieres are featured on the "Entertainment Scoop" program" "So whenever Mommy works late" "I turn on the TV to watch the program but I never see them feature one of your films" "Daddy, can you ask "Entertainment Scoop"" "to feature one of your films next time?" "So even if I can't watch the film" "I can still tell my classmates that my daddy's film was on "Entertainment Scoop"." "OK I promise" "Don't forget your promise!" "Sleep tight" "Hey, sorry." "I didn't bring my own clothes" "I found these in your closet." "Do you mind?" "Of course not." "My ex-wife left them here" "As long as you don't find them too tight" "It's OK" "Seems you like playing video games" "Yup." "I'm not good at much except playing video games" "Come on, that's not true" "When I was a little girl, I thought" "I'd become a video game designer" "But apparently you must be good at maths." "And I'm not" "You're kidding." "You wanted to be a video game designer?" "May I ask what kind of game would you design?" "Don't you think holding this game controller is kinda like giving someone a handjob?" "So I was thinking there should be a game that helps people jerk off" "Mind if you explain how you'd make a jerking off game?" "Why not?" "You owe people lots of money so the player must clear the debt by working at a massage parlour" "That's fucking sad What's so fun about it?" "What's not fun about it?" "You need to give handjobs to clear your debt so you gotta do it fast" "If you do it quickly and accurately you can earn promotions and keep your clients" "If your techniques aren't right, you will hurt your wrists and you'll get less business" "You have a point" "But nobody will play your game" "Why?" "Liking video games doesn't mean you'll also like jerking off" "If you like giving handjobs then why not work at a real massage parlour?" "Why play a video game?" "Not necessarily." "My friends wouldn't help their moms with the cooking but they'd play Cooking Mama in the living room" "Maybe some guys would buy it to train their girlfriends" "Sounds like you did your research" "Yes, once I have lots of money" "I will start developing this video game" "Hey, are you really gonna give me a role?" "Really, newcomers like you think you'd get a role just by sleeping around" "I'll ask you this:" "last time, you slept with assistant director Sunny Luk did he give you a role?" "He said he didn't have a role for me yet" "Fuck him - he's already working as a director" "You know what he's most worried about?" "He's scared of people gossiping" "So what does he do?" "He won't let you go on set" "So why would he give you a role?" "And you?" "I'm a producer." "It's different" "Gossips don't bother me" "But it's fucking hard to even begin shooting" "If I can make one, I'll get you in" "Actually, you're not the first to promise me a role and then bring me to god knows where" "But... you're the first who's willing to tell me the truth" "I'm sorry" "I'm not that interested in your private life" "I wanna know - did you really fuck that donkey?" "Miss it means you haven't been paying attention" "See, mules and donkeys are different" "A mule is the result of a horse and a donkey fucking." "Understand?" "You guys are not interested at all in what happens between me and the girl?" "Go back to talk about the mule" "Right, let's humor everyone and talk about the mule?" "But surely you want to know why Popping Candy is called Popping Candy?" "Why then?" "The reason Popping Candy is called Popping Candy is because she has a secret weapon" "What is it?" "Exploding" "Candy mouth" "Half a year ago" "Producer thanks for the meal today" "No problem" "Just now, you taught me lots of things" "I'm lucky to have listened to you" "Otherwise, I really would have taken that role" "Since I'm a newcomer, I've got a lot to learn" "I really thought that film was a 3D movie" "If it's in 3D, then it should be a big production" "You got it all wrong" ""3D" doesn't mean it's filmed in 3D" "You can already tell by looking at its title:" ""The Avengerin... . 33D"" "That's too small for you" "Without you, I wouldn't know what to do" "As a newcomer, you already fulfill one basic requirement" "You have a sweet tongue" "How do you know my tongue is sweet?" "In this industry, these are the most important words" ""Rely on your mouth"" "Just look at me" "There are many ways to use the mouth" "One of them is.." "If you're good enough you can get twice the result with half the effort" "My mouth can learn pretty fast" "As a producer, I always like to instruct newcomers" "Wait a sec" "What?" "Let me find my popping candy first" "Why do you want candy right now?" "I have something else for you" "It's not for me It's for you!" "I have diabetes." "I can't eat too much sugar" "I'm not normally this quick" "You're already not bad" "So far, only one person can stand it for more than a minute" "Really?" "How did he manage to hold it in?" "He.." "Actually I can't say he could hold it either" "I blew him for five minutes but saw that he had no reaction" "I was gonna compliment him but then I realised that he'd had a stroke" "I was pretty lucky then" "Hey, hey." "It's hard again" "Do you have any more popping candy?" "Auntie, who are you looking for?" "What did you say?" "Where's To Wai-cheung?" "Producer, someone's looking for you" "Excuse me, you should take off your shoes" "Aren't you ashamed?" "What?" "You bring some tramp home in front of your daughter?" "Hey, you can yell at me, but don't insult others" "She's not a tramp" "This is my friend Popping..." "What's your name?" "Tsui Ka-yan" "Your daughter's here, and you bring a teenage girl home?" "Are you nuts?" "How much older than your daughter is she?" "That's why we don't have a generation gap Jacqueline..." "Smart move." "You even managed to talk back to a barrister" "Bye-bye, Daddy" "I'll visit you again next week" "My letter of attorney states clearly" "If you don't pay your alimony you will never see your daughter again" "Let's go, Jacqueline" "Bye-bye, Big Sis" "Bye-bye." "Bye-bye" "Come over here" "Do you remember what Mommy told you?" "You forgot" "When you touch dirty things at Daddy's place you must wash your hands" "Open your hands" "Sing "Happy Birthday"" "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you" "Happy birthday to you.." "Just ignore her" "I'm thinking" "I know" "Hey I'm really thinking about something serious" "Don't bother me now" "I'm not bothering your brain" "The upper and lower half aren't related" "Your upper half can keep on thinking" "I'll "pop" the bottom half" "What did you just say?" "Your upper half can keep on thinking." "I'll "pop" the lower half" "Not that, before" "The upper and lower half are not related?" "Sorry." "I'm not normally that quick" "Aren't you deceiving your audience?" "Yum Yum, you make it sound so serious" "With the advancements in technology" "Even "Avatar" could make a guy turn into a blue creature" "We can paste your head onto a newcomer's body" "No big deal, right?" "Your face is still so attractive and she has an hourglass figure" "Sorry, all this talk is making me hard" "Will it really work?" "I'm really hard now." "Of course it works" "Idiot, I mean the film" "Why won't it work?" "You coupled with her will be so sexy" "How about the lead actor?" "Who are you looking for?" "You have any suggestions?" "Chow Yun-fat?" "Of course, he'd be perfect" "But his schedule is booked for the next three years" "I thought of a potential candidate" "He's on a similar level" "He's like the Chow Yun-fat of Hong Kong Cat Ill films" "Who is he?" "Hiro Hayama!" "Coffee, thanks." "OK" "Don't speak so loud, OK?" "Your name is bigger than my voice" "How can I not speak up?" "I'm shy" "If you're shy, then I'm autistic" "I have exploding body parts phobia." "I'm still taking medicine" "Don't ask me to make another Cat Ill film" "This is not like your last film" "Firstly, no Vonnie Lui this time" "So no bodies will suddenly explode" "Secondly, I guarantee your cock from beginning to the end won't get cut off" "You sure there are no exploding body parts?" "I ensure you that everyone will be normal and caring" "Well I can consider it" "Yes!" "So how many partners will I have?" "If it's an orgy then I need to charge extra" "Well this is where it gets tricky, so keep it a secret" "In principle, there are two lead actresses" "One is a famous star, Yum Yum Shaw." "The other is..." "Wait, wait." "Yum Yum Shaw?" "Who's that?" "Shaw Brothers' No 1 porn star" "Even before they see her face her name alone would give half the audience hard-ons" "I'm getting hard too just talking about it" "She was very popular back then" "Back then?" "When was that?" "Back when the Da Da department store was still in Mongkok" "I wasn't in Hong Kong then" "Poor you" "You didn't get to see Yum Yum Shaw's golden years" "She was like Hong Kong's Ai Iijima" "But your actual partner is a newcomer, Tsui Ka-yan" "Popping Candy?" "So you are acquianted with her then everything is easy" "Mr. To" "Why do you think Playboy condom should sponsor your film?" "Well, this is is a Category Ill film" "Lots of epic lovemaking scenes" "People change condoms more than they change clothes" "If Playboy can't sponsor us" "I don't know who else you could sponsor" "Are you kidding?" ""Confession of Two Concubines" is a period film" "There wew condoms back then?" "Although it's a period piece what's really popular now is the time travel concept" "So adding this will totally fit" "What time travel?" "It's still just porn" "Who's the main actress?" "We can't reveal her name yet but I will give you a surprise" "A superstar, a Hong Kong Film Award winner" "An award-winner who agrees to strip?" "!" "Who is the partner, the main actor?" "It's Hiro Hayama" "Lately his image isn't so good" "He split with his girlfriend and she called him a fast shooter" "Aren't you afraid he's going to aff negatively?" "It's exactly because he's fast." "That's why I'm pitching you" "Why's that?" "Think about it." "Hiro Hayama is at the premiere" "Reporters will ask why he comes so fast" "What should he say?" "I'll tell him to say" ""It's because I use Playboy condoms" "They're so thin, it's like I'm wearing nothing at all so I can't help but come too fast!"" "Think about it." "Once guys hear that all the fuckers will rush out to buy 'em" "For guys, I get it" "But wouldn't this give a bad impression to our female customers?" "I'm not gonna care that much about the female customers" "Those who buy condoms are men" "Have you personally seen a woman buying condoms before?" "Not even once" "Excuse me, Mr. To" "Yes?" "We all turned off our cellphones" "But you've been busy texting" "Aren't you disrespecting us?" "Let me finish this SMS first" "I don't agree with what you said" "Professor Cheng gets paid a salary to speak to you but I'm not paid" "There's no reason why I should give up my business just to talk to you" "No problem, please don't blame these kids" "It's because they're young so we need to teach them" "Otherwise they'll turn out horrible" "Take my assistant." "I treated her too nicely" "So?" "That's why I got in trouble" "Hi" "When is Blackie Tak coming?" "I don't know" "No worries, let me give him a call" "How can you work like this?" "I told you to call him to come up ages ago" "Why do you let your responsibilities nosedive?" "I'm in a hurry to talk to him" "You didn't call him yesterday?" "Why are you still looking at me?" "I hired you to arrange my schedule" "Can I ask you what you have arranged for me?" "In fact I did arrange something for you" "I've arranged a meeting for you with Miss Leung." "Over there!" "Leung who?" "Just some government person" "Nothing." "It's very simple" "I'm done for the day" "Am off to the movies Bye bye" "What movie?" "A Western film, called" ""Have a Nice Meeting"." "Goodbye" "What the hell?" "Hello, Mr To" "I'm Ms. Leung From the Equal Opportunities Commission" "Do you mind if I record this?" "Go ahead" "I came here to investigate an office sexual harassment case" "Your staff, Ms Quin Lau asked us for help two weeks ago" "According to her verbal statement you have previously sexually harassed her twice" "What are you talking about?" "When did I sexually harass her?" "The first time was at 3pm on the 8th of this month" "After you came back from the insurance company meeting because of your failure to get sponsorship you abused her verbally" "The second time was at 9pm on the 19th" "You left a message on her phone after work and repeated those unreasonable requests with language involving female reproductive organs and oral sex" "Wait, wait.." "What did I say?" "This is the statement by Miss Lau" "When did I tell her to go "muff diving"?" "Fuck!" "This overseas Chinese girl is so much trouble" "If she doesn't know Chinese, she should learn it" "What I said was her work performance is "nosediving"" "Mr. To, I have to remind you this conversation is being recorded" "The words you say can be used as evidence in court" "Please refrain from anymore misleading and discriminatory words" "What you just said implies that you and Ms Lau had a compromising relationship" "Where are you going with this?" "What did I say?" "When did I say that?" ""Fucking this overseas Chinese girl is so much trouble"" "Mr. To, what you just said clearly implies that the alleged harassment came after you had sex with her" "I said" ""Fuck.." "This overseas Chinese girl is so much trouble"" "You said it again" ""Fucking this overseas Chinese girl is so much trouble"" "What kind of machine is this?" "!" "I really said, "Fuck", break, then exclamation mark" ""This overseas Chinese girl is so much trouble"." "That's it" "I clearly heard it without the break" "Anyway, we already recorded it" "So I have to remind you again" "You must think carefully before you speak" "Dear Officer Leung" "As a man why would I tell a woman to go..diving?" "If I really wanted to harass her, I'd tell her to suck..!" "Look at me" "And where would I find this... female...organ for her?" "All I said was that her work performance is nosediving!" "According to Ms. Lau's statement" "Mr. To, you know Ms. Lau does yoga regularly" "And in your voice message, you told her to get bent" "I have reason to believe that you think her body is more flexible than normal so she can do that particular movement" "Mr. To, I'd like to remind you that during the investigation, you cannot contact the complainant and you have no right to fire her" "Otherwise we will pass the case to the Labour Department" "Fuck!" "This overseas Chinese girl is so much trouble" ""nosediving"" "Guangzhou Language Dictionary:" ""To nosedive is to make a sudden downward plunge"" ""nosediving" refers to rashness, irresponsibility and lacking seriousness" "You cannot contact me." "You cannot fire me" ""Nosediving" isn't a bad word!" "After all this talk, a producer's duty is to look for money and actors" "Once the film starts shooting, a producer doesn't do much" "All remaining responsibilities go to the director" "The way you see it is too simple" "Once the movie starts shooting, the producer gets even busier" "Producer!" "Director!" "Why are there so many Indians here?" "They're Pakistanis" "What's the difference?" "You're filming an erotic period film why do you need so many Indians?" "They're illegal workers." "I'm trying to help you save on costs" "You helping me to save money?" "I'm fucking different now" "I promise, this film won't go overbudget" "Really?" "Absolutely" "The actors have arrived Who?" "Take a look and you'll know who it is" "Hi" "Just say it" "I'm making an awesome new film" "I expect it'll make at least $50 million" "Well, that's how I feel" "But along the way there are some difficulties" "I need to advance some money first" "You know how much I have, which is nearly nothing" "It's why I need to talk to you" "Do you think the alimony payment can be put on hold for a year?" "You're so capable." "It won't be a big deal for you" "Not that I won't pay it, I will!" "but I'd like to do it all in one go" "Once the film is released and I have money" "I'll even add interests" ". and I'd like to borrow $300,000 as well" "How many years have we known each other?" "Twenty years!" "I used to drink malted soy milk but I'm not gonna drink it forever" "During high school you saw so many movies you couldn't buy lunch so you borrowed from me" "After so many years you still can't earn a living from movies" "Don't you think that's a problem?" "No!" "It's because." "that fucking director, he went overbudget" "Otherwise I wouldn't be begging you" "OK I can hold the alimony payment for a year" "I'll even lend you that $300,000" "But you must promise me one thing" "You can't see your daughter for a year" "Why can't I see my daughter?" "If you really care for her, then you shouldn't see her" "You should know yourself clearly" "At this age, Jacqueline will learn everything from her parents, both good and bad" "Jacqueline was already congenitally affected by you" "She's short Her IQ is lowered because of you" "Fine These things can't be changed now" "But can we not let other affect her?" "You let her meet your friends" "She shouldn't even see those people" "And I don't want you taking her to see them" "When was I a bad influence?" "I don't want to argue with you" "Call me if you want the cheque" "How about these malted soy milk?" "Save it for your teenage girls" "How are you, Yum Yum?" "It does fit you well" "Cheung, you're really something" "You can even think of something like this" "What else I can do?" "Our boss loves you so much, I have to make it work" "Don't worry" "Your body-double Tsui Ka-yan is famous for her hourglass figure" "Her chest looks like it's carrying two pots" "Did you meet her?" "Yes, we met." "But she's too busy to entertain me" "Why?" "A young girl like her would rather fool around with the main actor" "Really?" "Yamete!" "Yamete!" "Motto Motto" "That's right." "Yamete!" "Motto!" "That means "Stop it" and "More"" "Actually those are hard to do." "You know what I mean?" "Hi, Producer" "You're finally here." "Yes!" "I've been waiting all morning and you just arrived" "I've been here for a while, but you were busy with others" "Hey, Hiro." "Is acting that hard?" "Even off-screen, you still need to hold hands?" "Only because it's in the script" "Mr. Hayama is teaching me how to emote" "He said it'll give me more film roles" "I'm afraid that's not all he wants to give" "I'll go for my makeup You guys chat" "Bye" "Hey" "Thanks for giving me this opportunity" "Despite the lovemaking scenes, and the green mask everyone treats me so well" "I feel like this is a new beginning in my career" "Thank you" "No need to thank me." "You have so many friends here" "It's like you're home" "That's in the past" "In my heart there's only you" "It's true" "Talk to you later" "Hey, Producer." "Running smoothly?" "Very smooth." "What's up?" "Hey, there's something we should talk about" "Brother Tyrannosaurus said this is his first film investment" "Is it possible to give a role to his girl?" "Which boss doesn't have a girlfriend?" "Which boss doesn't want his girl in movies?" "I understand." "But couldn't this come up earlier?" "We shot half of it already" "I know, I know." "It doesn't matter how big or small the role is" "The boss understands, he doesn't mind" "It's just a consideration" "So fucking troublesome" "What clothes you want her to wear?" "Just wear nothing then" "OK!" "What the fuck?" "Producer!" "What the fuck is that?" "This is sister-in-law You've met before" "Didn't I tell you that" "Brother Tyrannosaurus wants her in the film?" "When?" "You said it was for Brother Tyrannosaurus' girl" "I said Brother Tyrannosaurus' mule" "No, you said it was his girl!" "I said his mule!" "What?" "!" "Doesn't matter if you heard it wrong or I said it wrong you know Brother Tyrannosaurus' taste" "If it's his girl, then it's a mule!" "Also like you requested, you asked if she could wear nothing" "Now she's wearing nothing." "I removed them" "So you should talk to the director and give her a better role" "She must have some dialogue but don't give her too much" "She has trouble talking she may get confused" "Mr. Lui, what the fuck did I do wrong?" "Did I kill your whole family in a previous life?" "Or did I fuck you in the ass?" "Fuck you" "Fuck you" "Director, let me introduce a brand new star to you" "A huge change is coming to the film industry" "What's up?" "Daddy, did you go to jail?" "Why am I in jail?" "Mommy said you'll go overseas for a while" "Even next year I won't get to see you" "Mary said she saw many movies with a similar plot" "It means daddy has gone to jail" "Daddy, what did you do wrong?" "Don't listen to your mom She's crazy" "What jail?" "Daddy just needs to go overseas to make a film" "Daddy, although I'm not very smart, I'm not stupid either" "Don't lie to me" "You won't see me for so long, so you must be going to jail" "Mary said she saw many films about prisons" "She said that if daddy goes to jail" "I must tell you to be careful of one thing" "Careful of what?" "She said if you take a shower and drop your soap don't bend down to pick it up" "Otherwise, something horrible will happen" "I asked her whether a ghost would appear but she wouldn't say" "So I think it must be something really horrible" "So Daddy, remember not to bend down" "Remember" "Daddy promises you two things" "First, Daddy's not going to jail and I'll be able to see you" "Second, in case Daddy really goes to jail" "I won't bend down to pick up the soap" "Even if I drop the soap, I simply just won't shower." "OK?" "OK" "Bye bye" "This is Barrister Tsang Lai-fun, I can't answer your call right now" "Please leave your message after the tone" "Three things:" "One:" "The thing I asked you before?" "Pretend I never said it" "I'll pay the alimony" "Two:" "I won't give up seeing Jacqueline" "Three:" "Jacqueline is not really that short" "Hey, Brother Hiro!" "Fireworks Lau, why you are here?" "Long time no see." "Blackie Tak asked me to work here" "Hey, ever since "Sexy Zen"" "we haven't seen each other for some time" "Yes, a few months" "Things are so dull now" "The props crew always want to go for a massage" "What massage?" "It's just a "special massage"" "What's so great about getting a hand job?" "Every guy knows how to do it" "If you can't "blow" your load then you should consult Fireworks Lau, right?" "So I asked those props guys" "Why pay someone to give you hand jobs?" "They say it's a different experience getting a handjob" "If you do it yourself, then you know everything like where to shoot and when it's almost ready." "So boring!" "Hey, they are props experts" "If they encounter a problem, why can't they find a solution?" "Later, I worked it out." "Do you want to know how?" "Brother Hiro!" "02:15:59:07 02:15:59:26 P0 Pauline!" "Good morning." "Other tea ladies give you green tea because you're Japanese" "But if you really liked Japan they why would you come to Hong Kong?" "So I made you pu'er tea" "Thanks." "Enjoy!" "Do you want to know?" "Wanna know?" "You want to!" "I only recommend it to friends like you" "It's so easy:" "find a hard chair put your hands on the chair, and sit on them!" "10 minutes until your hands have no blood circulation and feel tingly" "Your hands won't feel like yours" "This is when you start to jerking off" "The feeling is really amazing" "Think about it, they are your hands but they won't feel like your hands" "Interesting, right?" "Isn't it a great idea?" "I even thought of patenting this method" "I asked a lawyer, who said applying for a patent is easy" "The problem is how to charge people money" "You know how people hide the fact that they jerk off" "They won't tell others afterwards." "What can I do?" "I don't know." "I need to go back to work" "If you can't think of a solution, then try it first." "OK?" "Try it tonight." "I won't charge you until after you try it" "What the fuck?" "How could you order chicken rice without any chicken wings?" "Hey!" "You lied to me?" "How did I lie to you?" "You said there'd be no exploding body parts" "Why would we suddenly have exploding body parts?" "Then why is Fireworks Lau here?" "What fireworks?" "How come I don't know?" "Stop pretending I'm not shooting anymore" "Hey, listen to me first" "Go away!" "Cheung!" "Cheung!" "Producer?" "Producer?" "He's awake!" "Cheung!" "Can you hear me?" "Can you hear me?" "Cheung!" "We're shooting tomorrow?" "What film?" "The film already wrapped" "Huh?" "So fast?" "It's not fast." "You passed out for three months" "So fucking long?" "Yeah Did you know how dangerous it was?" "Your heart stopped several times" "Like a dead fish" "The doctor told us to stimulate you play you your favourite music and have people talk into your ears" "But there were no reactions at all" "Luckily, Yan was there" "What did you say to me?" "I swallowed some popping candy and went "bulubulu" to your ears" "Yeah And it worked!" "Once you heard the popping candy sound your heart would start beating like crazy" "The doctor was shocked" "No wonder" "I kept dreaming about your popping candy blowjobs" "But in fact, you were really just going "bulubulu" next to me" "No, actually, when the nurses were not around" "I really did blow you" "You are so good to me" "Why would I treat you badly?" "You're the only person in the industry I truly wanted to blow" "How about Hiro Hayama?" "There's nothing between us" "Don't lie to me" "I always saw you two together on the set whispering to each other" "You two must have something" "What?" "I was only chatting with him" "He volunteered to help me translate my proposal" "What proposal?" "It's the jerking off video game I kept on talking about" "I've been talking about it for years" "Now I finally have a proposal" "So he helped to translate it for me and even sent it to a Japanese video game company" "They're interested!" "Next week I'm flying to Tokyo to meet them" "Oh that's great!" "Cheung, it's good that you woke up" "Blackie Tak has already finished editing the film" "Tomorrow Brother Tyrannosaurus will come down to see it" "Fantastic!" "All done!" "Excellent!" "I'm so happy" "I woke up and it's all fucking done!" "What?" "The film's still finished?" "So why do they need you?" "Of course we were done" "But the real problems started after that" "Great!" "Great film!" "Which genius took my goddess Yum Yum's head and pasting it onto a teenage girl's body?" "I did, Brother Tyrannosaurus" "Producer, what's your family origins?" "Hakka" "(in Hakka) You fucking asshole" "I fucking wanted to see my goddess Yum Yum's nipples" "Why not replace her head with the girl's instead?" "Your taste is so extreme?" "Brother Tyrannosaurus" "Modern technology is very advanced" "We can re-do the whole film on a computer" "How about I use a computer to redo your mother?" "I wanted to make "Confessions of Two Concubines"" "How did it turn into this al-Qaeda stuff?" "Brother Tyrannosaurus, the fact is" "When the film was half-finished, I was in a coma" "The director got a bit creative and amended parts of it" "Also!" "My woman..." "Big Brother, please don't be so sad" "Brother Tyrannosaurus, regarding Sister-in-Law's accident we deeply express our regret" "I still remember" "That day, you were begging me to let my woman perform" "I never thought that when I sent her off it would be the last time I see her" "Who was looking after her?" "Do you know how to make a films?" "!" "We really followed strict safety requirements" "But I don't know why the donkey walked into that explosion heap" "She's not a donkey!" "Mule!" "No!" "Sister-in-Law!" "Sister-in-Law" "No one wants to see this film" "This film is actually using a postposition approach to pass through illusion and reality" "Those post-90s kids will like it" "Can you stop talking shit?" "Post-90s?" "Post 90 years old!" "Burn the film!" "I can't fucking stand people watching my woman blow up" "Keung, we're going straight back to Guangxi" "Call up everyone" "Get a hall full of tables for my woman's memorial" "Tell the restaurant to save some cow bliss for us" "What about the snow peas?" "Snow peas are for frying with pig's pussy." "That's the correct recipe!" "So what's cow's pussy fried with?" "Preserved vegetables!" "Fucking remember that" "So what happens?" "Yeah, what can you do?" "Yes, what happens next?" "In order to change Brother Tyrannosaurus' mind, it's simple" "If we get audiences to become aware of this film then we have a chance" "But he told you to burn it" "How would audiences know about it?" "Just like I said earlier at this very moment, you should ask yourself what would you sacrifice for your film?" "Producer, can you tell us then what you have sacrificed?" "Today, I sacrificed myself for the interest of this film" "I told all of you my most shameful, hidden secrets" "I revealed them all" "Producer, we only have a few hundred people here" "It's not gonna help much" "There's something you don't know" "You underestimate your students" "After I told you to turn off the cameras your students have been using their phones to record me" "Some of them even posted it online immediately" "Really?" "I didn't notice" "Even in the last hour, I've been receiving non-stop texts from magazine reporters" "Moreover, our director Blackie Tak has already posted the trailer online" "In just an hour it got tens of thousands of hits" "Amazing." "You're good!" "By the way you mentioned the mule...remember?" "You want to know if I fucked the mule, right?" "Yes!" "Did you?" "OK Let me tell you the truth" "I really lost that footage" "Fuck you!" "On the internet,Confessions of Two Concubines became a hot topic" "Brother Tyrannosaurus changed his mind and agreed to release the film" "Following the momentum we had built up it can be said that our premiere was starry, colourful and impressive" "Hey, we're waiting for your signature" "Hurry up, Producer." "Thank you, Boss" "For this film, I gave up a lot" "I want to dedicate this film to my lover" "Big Brother, Big Brother!" "Don't be so sad, Big Brother!" "Hey, time's up." "The film is about to start" "Hey, hurry up" "OK, I'm coming" "I have never missed my own premiere because filmmaking is a kind of vanity" "You work so hard just so that, after the lights go down we receive everyone's applause" "Producer To, can we we have a quick chat?" "Sorry, I' ve never been late before" "Just a few words!" "We're from "Entertainment Scoop"" "What do you want to talk about?" "There are plenty of mules" "Brother Tyrannosaurus later found a new lover" "He's no longer angry with us" "Due to the success of "Confessions of Two Concubines"" "Blackie Tak and I have been making one film after another" "The "Confessions" series has reached its seventh instalment" ""The Question of Concubines"" "which was the runner-up for the Most Popular Erotic Film at Italy's Udine Far East Film Festival" "Finally we are being appreciated" "A Japanese company not only bought" "Popping Candy's game "Happy Handjob"" "She even became the game's representative and went to Japan for her career" "Look at her What's she doing?" "Is a thousand-hand goddess necessary for handjobs?" "Once I have free time" "I'll take Jacqueline with me to visit her in Japan" "Of course,I won't forget to carry some popping candy with me" "But there's one thing I really want to figure out" "Imagine that everything is slowing down, slowing down" "Your memory returns back to that night" "Everything becomes slow, very slow" "Your memory returns back to that night" "Everything is slowing down, slowing down" "What can you see now?"