"[ Man] ♪ And when I die ♪" "♪ Won't you bury me ♪" "♪ In the par kin' lot ♪" "♪ OftheAP?" "♪" "♪ Blow out the candles ♪" "♪ And blow out the lamps ♪" "♪ And light my pyre ♪" "♪ With my trading" stamps ♪ Yee-ha!" "♪ I had three books ♪" "♪ But I needed four ♪" "♪ To go to heaven ♪" "♪ And redeem my soul ♪" "What happened to two, Mike?" "♪ I had two books ♪" "♪ But I needed three ♪" "♪ To deliver me ♪" "♪ From the AP N" "Bravo, Mike!" "Bravo!" "Bellissimal" "You really make all that up?" "Are you really going to shave your legs?" "Ce/10." "All the Italians do it." "Eh, some country." "The women don't shave theirs." "Eh, huh?" "Stop!" "It was somewhere right along here that I lost all interest in life." "Aha!" "It was right here." "This is where I saw Dolores Reineke... and fat Marvin!" "[ Grunts ]" "Why, Dolores?" "Why?" "They're married now." "See what I saved you from, Cyril?" "If I hadn't told you, you never would have followed them out here." "Well, thanks, Mike." "You made me lose all interest in life, and I'm grateful." "My brother said he saw you and Nancy, Moocher." "When'?" "Uh, last Friday." "Well, it wasn't me." "I'm not seeing her anymore." "[Cyril ] I kind of miss school." "This is gonna be the first time no one's gonna ask us to write a theme... about how we spent our summer." "Yeah." "When you're 16, they call it sweet 16." "When you're 18, you get to drink, vote, and see dirty movies." "What the hell do you get to do when you're 19?" "You leave home." "My dad said Jesus never went further than 50 miles from his home." "Look what happened to him." "Whoo!" "[ Moocher] Hey, man, this feels great!" "[ Cyril ] Ahh!" "Come on in!" "[ Moocher] Hey, come on in, Dave." "I read where this Italian coach said it's no good to go swimming right after a race." "[ Cyril ] Who's swimming?" "I'm taking a leak." "♪ J' [ Singing In Italian ]" "♪ J' [ Continues ]" "Dave, is Moocher home?" "J"J" [ Continues In Italian]" "[Children Chattering ]" "Hey, ciao, bambini." "Buon giorno!" "♪ J' [ Continues ]" "He was as normal as pumpkin pie, and now look at him." "♪ J' [ Continues Singing ]" "His poor parents." "It's that cologne he wears." "It's called..." "Neapolitan Sunset." "Yeah?" "Well, the flies seem to like it." "There." "This is it?" "Well, you know what the doctor said." "At your age" " What the hell do you mean "at my age"?" "Goddamn see-through coffee." "He says you have a bad heart." "That's got nothing to do with my age." "It's our son that's ruining my health, Evelyn." "What's he going to do?" "He wanted a year off with those bums so I give him a year." "It hasn't been a year yet." "But, Evelyn, look what's happened to him." "He's turned into an "lty."" ""Ciao, Papa." "Ciao, mama." "'Arrivederci. ." "That's "lty" talk." "I used to think it was funny at first." "It's not funny anymore." "He was very sickly until he started riding around on that bike." "Well, now his body's fine, but his mind is going." "He used to be a smart kid." "I thought he was going to go to college." "I thought you didn't want him to." "Why should he?" "I never went to college." "When I was 19, I was working in the quarry ten hours a day." "Most of the quarries are closed." "Let him find another job." "Jobs are not that easy to find." "Let him look at least." "Let him come home tired from looking." "He's never tired." "He's never miserable." "He's young" "When I was young, I was tired and miserable." "[ Chuckles ]" "I had my own place at 17." "He says Italian families stay together." "Evelyn, we are not Italian." "Oh, I know, I know." "It's just that I come from a big family myself... and it was kind of nice." "He thinks we should have another child." "What?" "Buon giorno, Papa." "I'm not Papa!" "I'm your goddamn father!" "Buon giorno, Mama." "She's your goddamn mother." "What'd you do?" "Win again?" "The victory, she was easy." "But the promoter tells me that the Italians will be here soon." "I will race with the best- italianos." "Like the nightingales, they sing." "Like eagles, they fly." "Speaking of flies, you brought a hell of a lot in with you." "Fly in Italian is mosca." "In English it's "pest." Speaking of pests- lsn't this a lovely trophy?" "Look." "Oh, yeah." "So what?" "I lived 50 years, I never got a trophy." "You never got a trophy?" "Nope,I never got one." "I give you this one." "You are numero uno, King Papa." "Don't do that." "I have to take a shower." ",/3/'[ Figaro ]" "There's that "lty" music again!" "I'm gonna have this out with him now!" ".R.r [ opera 1" "What's the matter?" "He's shaving." "Well, so what?" "His legs." "He's shaving his legs." "♪ Figaro ♪" "♪ Fi... garo' ♪" "♪ Figaro, Figaro, Figaro, Figaro J'.i'" "Yoo-hoo. [ Moocher] Nancy." "I was just on my way to work." "Come on in." "You know what?" "No." "What?" "L'm leaving home, that's what." "What?" "Where are you going?" "About five blocks south." "Oh." "I found this nice little place to rent." "It's so cute I could scream." "Scream." "My folks said I could have some of their furniture from the basement." "All right!" "[ Inhaling, Exhaling ]" "Maybe you could give me a hand... moving." "Oh, sure." "If I'm not too busy, you know?" " How's the job?" " You know what?" "Frank said if I keep up the good work, it'll just be a matter of time before I become head cashier." "That's great." "Well, I should go now." "Nancy." "Uh..." "I think I'll walk you to work." "I'm going out that way anyways." "It gets 30 miles to the gallon." "Of course, the mileage you get may vary." "It's a beaut, right?" "Right." "Boy, you sure know how to pick 'em." "Frankly, this is the best car on the lot." "Quality product." "Buon giorno, Papa!" "Come stai?" "Friend of yours?" "Aren't you glad we got fired from the A  P?" "I mean, right now, we'd be working." "We didn't get fired, Mike." "You got fired." "We quit." "All for one and one for all." "You know, there ain't many places that are gonna hire all four of us." "You know what I'd like to be?" "Smart." "[Laughs]" "A cartoon of some kind." "Wouldn't that be great?" "You know, when they get hit on the head with a frying pan... and their head looks like the frying pan with the handle and everything?" "Then they go boing and... their head comes back to normal." "Wouldn't that be great?" "How did you get to be so stupid, Cyril?" "I don't know." "Guess I have a dumb heredity." "What's your excuse, Michael?" "[ Chuckles ]" "You hear from your folks, Mooch?" "Yeah, my dad called." "He says there's a lot more jobs in Chicago." "He hasn't gotten anything yet, though." "Wanted to know if the house was sold." "Hmm." "He could use the money something fierce." "You can come live with me when it's sold." "In Italy, everybody lives together." "[Chuckles] Since you won that Italian bike, man, you've been acting weird." "You're really getting to think you're Italian, aren't you?" "I wouldn't mind thinking I was somebody myself." "I think the door's stuck on that icebox." "I can't see him!" "Oh, yoo-hoo!" "It's got no back on it." "[Laughs]" "Funny shit." "Funny." "[ Hooting ]" "[Chattering ]" "What the hell are they doing here?" "[Girls Cheer And Clap]" "I've never seen anybody dive off from up there." "Hey, you bastards!" "Who's that?" "Hey, cutters!" "They got indoor and outdoor pools on campus, and they got to come here." "It's my goddamn quarry." "This hole, this quarry hole is mine!" "Hey, screw you, Cyril." "Come on." "Let's get out of here." "[ Mike] If they're gonna come here, then we're gonna go to their campus." "[Tires Screech ]" "Going to college must do something to girls' tits, I swear." "Just look at 'em." "Hi there!" "What's your major?" "[Whistles Blowing ]" "Sure look like they've got it made." "That's because they're rich." "Italians are poor, but they're happy." "Yeah, maybe in Italy." "Whoa!" "Whoo!" "Hey, good one, Kath." "Go!" "Rod, here." "I wonder what it's like to kiss a coed." "Wonder about that a lot." "Whoa!" "Hey!" "[Tires Screech ]" "[Laughs]" "[ Rod ] Come on!" "Hey, that bastard's giving us the finger." "[ Mooch ] Hey, we're on their turf, Mike." "Come on!" "Dumb-ass cutters!" "Goddamn bastard-Ilickiin' retards!" "Number 1, move!" "Hut!" "18!" "Hut!" "[Whistle Blows]" "I used to think I was a great quarterback in high school." "Still think so too." "Can't even bring myself to light a cigarette... 'cause I keep thinking I got to stay in shape." "Know what really gets me though?" "I got to live in this stinking town, and I got to read in the newspapers... about some hotshot kid, new star of the college team." "Every year it's going to be a new one... and every year, it's never going to be me. [Scoffs]" "I'm just going to be Mike." "20-year-old Mike." "30-year-old Mike." "Old mean old man Mike." "These college kids here are never gonna get old or out of shape... 'cause new ones come along every year." "They're going to keep calling us cutters." "To them, it's just a dirty word." "To me, it's just something else I never got a chance to be." "[ Reading In Italian ]" "Mamma mia!" "[ Horn Honks ] [Tires Screech ]" "[ Muffled ] Signorina" "Signorina!" "Signorina!" "Signorina, Signorina, you,uh" "Is yours, no?" "[Scoffs] You mean you've been chasing me with this?" "Is nothing." "Niente, signorina." "What, are you an exchange student or something?" "Sì"." "I am italiano." "My name is Enrico Gimondi." "My name is Katherine Bennett." "Ah, Catherina." "Catherina." "Well, thanks again..." "again." "Bye." "Ciao." "[ Pop, Hiss] Son of a bitch!" "All right, keep it steady!" "Keep your elbows bent!" "That's" " That's right!" "Pick it up, Kath!" "30!" "Hi." "What are you doing, Kathy?" "Goddamn it!" "I want an answer, Evelyn." "What are we going to do about him?" "I don't know, dear." "We could always strangle him while he's asleep." "That's not funny, Evelyn." "Why don't you talk to him?" "I'm afraid to talk to him." "I'm afraid to look at him. [Sighs]" "I'm afraid if I did, his eyes would be twirliin' like pinwheels." "Mmm." "I'm only giving you these because you promised to calm down." "Don't expect any more." "J"J" [ Italian Opera]" "I can't eat with that noise on." "./"J" [ Continues]" ".r.r [ Stops ]" "Evelyn, he's not even in his room." "Stop!" "What the hell are you doing?" "Them's my French fries!" "Oh, Mama!" "Evelyn!" "Oh, my God, what's the matter?" "Mio cuore." "My heart." "Oh, my heart!" "It's these damn French fries." "Hey, they're my damn French fries." "I have such a pain in my heart, Mama, Papa." "[ Sighs ] I'm in love." "If [ Rock]" "Suzy says this guy sent you flowers." "So what?" "You never sent me flowers." "Who is he, Kath?" "Some crazy guy I met." "God, what's gotten into you?" "Buon giorno." "Mama!" "Mama!" "Mama, the Italians are coming!" "They're coming to race in Indianapolis!" "The team Cinzano!" "Oh, grazie tanto, Santa Maria." "Oh, Dave, try not to become Catholic on us." "Grazie, signore." "Molte grazie!" "Faster." "I Siren ]" "Damn!" "Ahh." "[ Speaking Italian On Record ]" "Ah, there you are, Fellini." "Come stai, eh?" "Are you hungry?" "This is spicy meatballs here." "[ Record:" "Man ] It's hot today, isn't it?" "[ Man Speaks Italian ] M m m !" "[ Slurps ]" "Mangiare, eh?" "Hey, he)!" "'" "Guess what." "The Italians are coming." "Guess what." "Moocher's going." "Dave, you've got to talk to him." "Where're you going, Mooch?" " He's getting a job." " So?" "So?" "He's getting a job!" "[ Mike] Campus Street Car Wash." "Going to wait on college boys." "[ Cyril ] Don't forget to smile now if you want a tip." "I thought we were going to stick together, man." "I need a job, Mike." "Don't go, Mooch." "They only let you out on weekends and national holidays." "See you later, Cyril." "Hey, don't forget to write." "Hey." "Take it easy." "Ciao." "You're a little late, but I guess you won't let that happen again." "Sorry." "Here's your sponge and rag, and there's your place." "And don't forget to punch the clock, shorty." "[ Cyril ] All right!" "[ Dave ] Bravo!" "[Whistling ]" "Yeah!" "Whoo!" "Get out of here!" "Way to go, Mooch!" "Raymond?" "You know, them college boys ain't so smart." "I sold one of my worst cars to one of them today." "They ain't too smart. lt's a good thing that Dave never" "What is this?" "It's, um, sautéed zucchini." "It's "lty" food." "I don't want no "lty" food." "It's not." "I got it at theA P." "It's like, uh, squash." "I know "lty" food when I hear it." "It's all them "ini" foods" "Zucchini and linguine and fettuccine." "I want some American food, damn it!" "I want French fries!" "[ Meow]" "Oh, get off the table, Fellini!" "That's my cat!" "His name is Jake, not Fellini." "I won't have any "mi" in this house!" "Your name is Jake, you understand?" "[ Meow]" "[Shouting ]" "Your parents asking what you're going to do?" "[ Dave] I think they're getting curious." "I sure miss playing basketball." "I got depressed as hell when my athlete's foot and jock itch went away." "So why did you give it up?" "Oh, I don't know." "Ah." "I was sure I was going to get that scholarship." "My dad, of course, was sure that I wouldn't." "When I didn't, he was really understanding, you know?" "He loves to do that." "He loves to be understanding when I fail." ""That's okay, Cyril." "I understand."" "He even bought me that guitar 'cause he was sure I'd never learn to play it." "I'm supposed to take this college entrance exam." "Are you gonna go to college?" "Hell, no." "I just want to see if I can pass." "Huh." "Maybe I'll take it, too, and flunk it." "My dad's birthday's coming up." "[Chuckles]" "Hey, now, look at this." "That's the place to be right there" " Wyoming." "Nothing but prairies and mountains and nobody around." "All you need's a bedroll and a good horse." "Don't forget your toothbrush." "You're still in your cavity-prone years." " [ Dave ] Hey, here's your brother." " [ Mike] Shit." "I, uh, hear you've been hot-rodding around campus again." "I wasn't hot-rodding." "Well, I'm going to have to take the car back if you keep it up." "All right." "All right, all right, all right." "All right." "How you doing, guys?" "Well, we're a little disturbed by the developments in the Middle East... but other than that- Pussy cop." "Hey, I know what let's do." "Why don't we drive to Terre Haute tomorrow?" "We ain't been out of this B-town in God knows how long." "That sounds like a good idea." "I'm, uh" "I'm kind of busy tomorrow." "Yeah, that's right." "I'm kind of busy myself tomorrow." "Well, I just might go myself, then." "♪ J'[ Italian]" "♪ J' [ Humming ]" "If [ Guitar Notes ]" "That's it." "Cyril, that's it." "I recognize it." "Damn right." "But you got to play it much louder, okay?" "Don't worry." "I'll make this catgut meow." "[Strums Loud Chord ]" "♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha ♪" "Come on, just slow down." "Watch out for the hole!" "Ow!" "How about a little music?" "Catherina!" "Catherina!" "Catherina!" "♪ J' [ Man Singing In Italian ]" "[ Giggling ] J'J' [ Dave Singing In Italian ]" " Play it, Cyril!" " If [ Continues Singing]" "J"J" [ Italian Continues]" "♪ J' [ Continues Same Song ]" "[ Giggling ]" "♪ J' [ Continues ]" "Oh, hi, Rod." "I was just wondering if you knew there was a guy over here with a guitar serenading Kath." "If [ Together]" "./"J" [ Solo ]" "If [ Same Song Continues ]" "♪ J' [ Dave Continues]" "[ Applause ]" "[ Whistling, Cheers ]" "Good night and thank you!" "Whoa!" "Shit!" "I have to go in." "I haven't ridden double since I was a little girl." "And I've never been serenaded." "So... it was a lovely evening." "Molte grazie." "Right?" "Buona notte, Ca lherina." "Are you sure you're okay?" "I'm fine!" "I'm fine." "Let me see." "He won't tell me who did it." "It was dark!" "I can tell you for sure they all wore Brut aftershave... and reeked of Lavoris." "What were you doin' there by yourself?" "I was just walking." "Well, what kind of car did they drive?" "It was a Mercedes convertible." "Was it blue?" "Yes." "We seen that car." "All right." "They want a fight, we'll give them a fight." "We rednecks are few." "College paleface students are many." "I counsel peace." "Come on." "Let's go find those bastards." "[ Dave ] I have to go somewhere." "If [ Disco ]" "You haven't pledged any sorority yet?" "No." "You should." "Most frat guys won't go out with dormies." "I'm the exception." "So, you're on the swimming team, huh?" "Yep." "Breaststroke." "♪ Loosen it up J"" "♪ Loosen it up If" "[ Mike] Is that him?" "[Cyril ] I guess." "Who are they?" "A bunch of cutters." "What are cutters?" "Townies." "[Tires Screech ]" "[ Mike] There it is." "There's his Mercedes." "[ Cyril ] Hey, Mike." "Mike, I don't think we can go in there." "Oh, yeah?" "Watch this." "Shit." "Uh, due cappuccini, per favore." "Oh, that's the wrong guy." "That's the wrong guy." "[ Man ] A bunch of cutter kids." "There he is." "[ Bowling Pins Rattle ]" "Hi there." "Would you like to roll some balls?" "[ Mike] Come on, Cyril!" "I can't get it out." "My-My finger's stuck." "My papa, he tells me, "Figlio mio, " he tells me," ""we are fishermen in our family for as far back as I can see." "You" " You can do what you want." "You go to America." "Say hello to the new world for me."" "MY Papa." "It's nice to hear somebody misses his parents." "Ce/10, I miss." "Just like you miss your mama and papa." "L" " I don't miss them." "I went as far as I could to get away from them." "Ah, but they miss you." "Eh, at home, they sit, and they look at your photo... and they say, "Ah, how we miss our Catherina... our bambina."" "You shouldn't smoke." "What's your major?" "Sosh." "Oh, Sosh." "That's a nice major." "Would you mind if I" "What are you cutters doing here?" " Did you get lost?" " No." "Then why don't you get lost now?" "Is that him?" "No." "No, I don't think it is." "No." "Let's get out of here." "Smart move, shorty." "[ Shouting, Screaming ]" "[ Grunting ]" "Ow!" " All right!" "Break it up!" " Watch it!" "Oh, shit." "Break it up!" "[ Katherine ] We gotta go now." "Come on." "The cutters started it!" "[ Man ] Come on." "Let's go." "Fun's over." "Come on." "[ Man #2 ] Break it up, everybody." "Get out of there." "[ Officer] Move it!" "Let's go!" "Most of you will only spend four years here... but to a lot of us, Bloomington is our home." "I don't like the way you boys have been behaving in my home." "If you feel compelled to compete with the kids from the town... you will do it in a different arena." "We've decided to expand the field of this year's Little 500 bicycle race... to include a team from the town." "But, sir, they're not good enough." "Why not?" "I don't want to be in the Little 500." "Oh, Christ." "I thought you'd jump at the chance." "L" " I don't want to be seen with all those college kids." "That's the whole point!" "They're all gonna be there." "Don't you want to beat those shitheads in front of everybody?" "Doesn't it take four people to have a team?" "Well, we got four." "I mean, don't we?" "We all enter, Dave rides the whole thing, and we win!" "Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure." "Uh, look, Mike." "I'm going to be working that day, okay?" "Working?" "Yeah, I'm going to get a job." "By yourself?" "Yeah!" "I need the money." "Thanks a lot, Dave." "That's really great." "You're a real pal!" "You won't be working the day of the Italian race." "Mike, the time comes when we all have to go our own ways." "[ Mike] You're a real adult, aren't you?" "B-town boy grows up." "It's going to happen sometime." "Oh, yeah." "Is that what Nancy says?" "You can just leave her out of this." "Shut up, would you?" "I wasn't talking to you in the first place." "Hey, well, I don't give a goddamn!" "You're not the quarterback here, Mike!" "At least I was once!" "Which is better than being a midget all my life!" "Cut it out!" "Just cut it out!" "Hey, bambino, che cosa?" "Just drop that Italian shit, too, all right?" "I'm really sick of that crap." "Oh, shit!" "You know, I think you're just afraid of those college guys." "And you're not, right, Mike?" "The only thing I'm afraid of is wasting the rest of my life with you guys!" "I thought that was the whole plan... that we were going to waste the rest of our lives together." "[Chattering, Giggling ]" "What's he doing?" "That guy" "[Laughs] Man!" "[ Girl ] Come on, Rod!" "[ Cyril ] Come on, Mike!" "[ Girl ] Yay, Rod!" "Whoo!" "[ Cheering ]" "[ Girl ] Come on, Rod!" "[ Moocher] You can do it!" "Come on, Mike!" "[ Girl ] Yay, Rod!" "[ Applause ]" "[ Groans ]" "[ Dave] Mike!" "Mike!" "Hold on, Mike!" "[Gasping ]" "[ Coughing ]" "I tried calling her to tell her, but I just couldn't." "She's going to see you in the 500, you know." "You know, if she really likes you, she just won't care." "Hey, uh, Dave, me and Nancy, we're going to get married." "What a mess." "Moocher, you're Catholic, aren't you?" "Yeah." "You ever go to confession?" "Twice." "Make you feel better?" "Once." "[ Bell Tolls ]" "Hi." "Sorry I'm late." "You look nice." "Your hair looks great." "What do you think they're going to ask us?" "Nothing we can't answer, I suppose." "Wonder if I have to have a job to qualify." "I don't think so." "I think it's mostly blood and relatives that they're interested in." "Blood and relatives?" "That's great." "I got both of them." "Oh, fudge!" "You know what?" "No." "What?" "I only brought $4.00." "Oh, well, it's only five." "I'll tell you what." "We'll go Dutch." "On a marriage license?" "Sure." "Why not?" "[ Horn Honks ]" "Papa!" "Ciao, Papa!" "[ Car Engine Sputters ]" "Aw, damn." "You know what I did?" "I put premium gas in this baby by mistake." "It hates expensive gas." "[ Horn Honks ] [ Engine Sputters]" "[Groaning ]" "I should've hit him when I had the chance." "He'd be dead now." "No more worries." "I'll talk to him, dear." "I'll tell him he either has to get a job or go to college." "College?" "So he can thumb his diploma at me?" "[ Evelyn ] Dave never thumbed anything at anybody." "That's because he never went to college." "Besides, he's probably too stupid to get in." "Shh!" "He'll hear you." "I don't care!" "It's my house." "Besides, he doesn't speak English anyway." "I'm sure he'll find a job somewhere." "He couldn't find a job to save his life." "He's worthless, Evelyn." "I tell you." "I die of shame every time I see him." "Goddamn  [ Evelyn ] Shh!" " lazy freeloader." "[ Honks Horn ]" "Hi, Alvin!" "Look who's here!" " Looks like the safety inspector." " Or a union organizer." "Dugan, I thought you'd retired." "They won't let me retire." "Howdy, Floyd." "We could sign you up as an apprentice." "Like hell you can!" "I'm only here for a visit, but if I wanted to start over again..." "I could pick up right where I left off." "How are you, Russell?" "Hi, Ray." "All right." "How are you?" "Pretty good." "Mind if I drive in a wedge?" "All right." "Hey, how's your son?" "He's fine." "How 'bout yours?" "I'm just tired of it, Evelyn." "I'm tired of worrying about him." "Who'd ever hire a guy like that?" "He's going to wind up a bum- An Italian bum." "Well, you could use some help." "What if you gave him a job?" "I don't want him selling used cars." "Why not?" "It's good enough for you." "Who says it's good enough for me?" "You do." "Damn right it's good enough for me, but I don't need any help." "He'd ruin me if I hired him, a weirdo kid like that." "Gee." "[ Sighs ]" "[Whistling ]" "Hey!" "No whistling!" "You're supposed to be a shag boy, so shag." "If I wanted whistling, I'd get a bird." "How are you feeling?" "Tired, Papa." "Exhausted?" "Yeah." "Good." "Get used to it." "It's going to be more of the same." "Let's go home." "I have to train." "The Italian race is next week." "[ Horn Honks ]" "Papa, can I have this Saturday off?" "Hell, no." "Just this once, Papa." "The Italians are coming Saturday." "I don't care if the Second Coming's coming." "But I waited so long." "No!" "N-O double-O." "No." "Uh-oh." "You stay out of this." "Don't come in here with that." "This car's been sold." "You said there was a 90-day guarantee." "Guarantee?" "What guarantee?" "You gave me your word." "On paper?" "Have you got it on paper?" "Well, there was no paper, but you gave me your word." "Word?" "I don't remember hearing any word." "Get this car off my lot!" "Papa, if you gave him your word, then we have to take the car back." "Who are you?" "We're poor, but we're honest." "All I want is a refund." "Refund?" "Refund?" "Are you crazy?" "Refund?" "Refund?" "Refund?" "Refund?" "Easy." "Easy." "Easy, Ray." "Refund?" "Refund." "Refund?" "I've ruined everything." "He needed a rest anyway, and now he's getting it." "I'm not going to go to the race." "I should be right there when Papa wakes up." "Um, did I ever show you this?" "It's a passport." "It's quite cheap, you know." "A real bargain." "I carry this with me all the time." "Someday, there'll be a new girl at the A  P... and when I cash a check, she'll ask for identification... and I'll take out my passport, and fll sayn." ""Here!"" "Oh, Mama." "So you see, I think you really should go." "I think you should come home... singing... with a trophy." "I think you should do all those things while you can." "I'll win this one for you, Mama." "Ladies and gentlemen... welcome to today's Cinzano 100-mile road race." "Here they come to the starting line" "Team Cinzano, ladies and gentlemen!" "[ Scattered "Ciaos"]" "Timers, if you are ready, we'll stand by for the start of the Cinzano 100." "Riders, ready!" "Timers, ready!" "[ Starter Pistol Fires ]" "The Cinzano 100 is under way, ladies and gentlemen." "The riders are starting off on a 100-mile journey." "Come on!" "[Cheering ]" "[ Speaking Italian ]" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Buon giorno!" "Come stai?" "Oggi é molto umido, non é vero?" "Andiamo!" "Avanti!" "Avanti." "Grazie!" "Grazie!" "Grazie!" "[ Mutters In Italian ]" "[ Speaking Italian ]" "[Speaks Italian ]" "[Speaks Italian ]" "[ Groans ]" "Bravo!" "Bravo!" "[Continues In Italian ]" "I feel like one of those dwarves, you know?" "Like, when they think that Snow White's dead." "Well, I guess you're a cutter again, huh?" "Just like the rest of us?" "I guess so." "[ Moocher] Hey, cheer up, Dave." "You still got the 500." "Thanks a lot." "No, I don't feel lucky to be alive." "I feel lucky I'm not dead." "There's a difference." "[ Evelyn ] Mm-hmm." "Oh!" "What happened to you?" "It's nothing." "How do you feel, Dad?" ""Dad"?" "I'll tell you how I'm feeling, son." "I had nightmares all night that everybody I ever sold a car to... came in to ask for a refund." "You were there handing out the checks." ""One for you, one for you."" "I'm sorry I gave him back his money." "I really am." "Everybody cheats." "I just didn't know." "Well, now you know." "Where's your trophy?" "Daddy!" "What's the matter?" "What are you crying for?" "Acting like you lost your wallet." "I didn't want you to be this miserable." "A little bit's all I asked for." "[Chuckles]" "Go on now." "It's all right." "Talk to him, Evelyn." "What are you doing?" "Hi, Kathy." "Oh, God, what did you do to yourself?" "I just, uh- Oh, I liked you better before." "What happened to your cornicello?" "Now you look like everybody else." "I am everybody else." "I mean" "Listen, Kathy" "Catherina!" "I feel terrible." "You sound funny." "Che cosa, Enrico?" "Tell me." "Look." "Kathy, I- My name is Dave Stohler." "I made all that other stuff up." "I was born in Bloomington." "I went to Bloomington High." "I was treasurer of the Latin Club and usher on the senior" "Okay." "Stop kidding around." "I'm not kidding around!" "See," "I'm what you call a cutter." "Why Napoli?" "And the big family?" "Well, it was a good act." "You- You certainly fooled me." "You know what you are?" "I got a clue." "I'll tell you what you are." "[ Sobs ] Oh, God!" "You" "[Sobbing ]" "Dave." "Yes, Dad?" "[ Sighs ]" "I cut the stone for this building." "You did?" "Yeah." "I was one fine stone cutter." "Mike's dad, Moocher's, Cyril's, all of us." "Well, Cyril's dad- Never mind." "Thing of it was, I loved it." "I was young and slim and strong." "I was damn proud of my work." "And the buildings went up." "When they were finished, the damnedest thing happened." "It was like..." "the buildings was too good for us." "Nobody told us that." "Just" "Just felt uncomfortable." "That's all." "Even now, I" "I'd like to be able to stroll through the campus... and look at the limestone," "but I just feel out of place." "You guys still go swimming in the quarries?" "Sure." "So the only thing you got to show for my 20 years of work... is the holes we left behind." "I don't mind." "I do." "Cyril's dad says he took that college exam." "We both took it." "How did both of us do?" "Well, I don't know." "One of us did okay." "But neither... of us" "Hell, I... don't want to go to college, Dad!" "To hell with them!" "I'm proud of being a cutter." "You're not a cutter." "I'm a cutter." "What, are you afraid?" "Yeah." "A little bit." "And then there's the rest of the guys." "Well, you took the exam." "Did all right, didn't you?" "Yes." "Well, that's" " That's good." "Well, your mom- [ Sighs ]" "Your mom will be expecting us home." "Come on." "Am I supposed to ride this thing?" "Well, that's the official issue." "You can't add or change anything." "Well, it's a piece of junk!" "Hey, it's got a lot of personality to it." "It doesn't look that bad to me." "That's 'cause you don't have to ride it." "You don't have to ride it either, Dave." "We're not going to beg you." "We may plead, but we would never beg." "Aw, the hell with it!" "Get off, Cyril." "At least we got invited." "I'm just gonna take it back." "You seem relieved, Mike." "What's the matter?" "Don't you think we can win anymore?" "Why not?" "Maybe those guys are better than us." "Maybe they are, but that's the first time I heard you say anything like that." "That's the first time I ever felt that." "All right." "[ Sighs ]" "Hello." "What are you doing here?" "I'm leaving soon." "Where are you going?" "I got a job in Chicago." "Moocher's dad's in Chicago." "He got a job there." "He's, uh" "And I'm going to Italy after all with my parents." "Great, Kath." "I wish you a nice trip." "You too." "I'm not going anywhere." "I don't know about that." "Thank you." "You're welcome." "If you eat so much, Moocher, how come you're so damn small?" "Oh, it's my metabolism, Mr. Stohler." "I eat three times a day." "My metabolism eats five times a day." "Well, I go back to work tomorrow." "You're not gonna come see us race?" "He thought he might bring you bad luck." "Well, I just have work to do." "That's all." "Besides, there might be another metabolism to feed around here." "You mean, we might be a father?" "No, I might be a father." "Your mom might be a mother." "You might be a brother." "That way, I keep it all in the family." "Wow." "I didn't think people your age" "The next word may be your last, kid." "You must be very happy, Mr. Stohler." "'Course I must." "Do I have any choice?" "You said you were going to give them a little pep talk." "They don't need pep." "I need pep." "Go on." "Give it to them." "Uh, we thought" "As long as you're goin' out there, you might as well tell 'em who you are." "Right." "[Laughs] Oh, wow!" "[Woman ] ♪ Oh, say, can you see ♪" "♪ By the dawn's early light ♪" "♪ What so proudly we hailed ♪" "♪ At the twilight's last gleaming?" "♪" "♪ Whose broad stripes and bright stars ♪" "♪ Through the perilous fight ♪" "♪ O'er the ramparts we watched ♪" "♪ Were so gallantly streaming ♪" "♪ And the rocket's red glare ♪" "♪ The bombs bursting in air ♪" "♪ Gave proof through the night ♪" "♪ That our flag was still there ♪" "♪ Oh, say, does that star-spangled banner ♪" "♪ Yet wave ♪" "♪ O'er the land of the free ♪" "♪ And the home oi the brave N" "[ Man ] Gentlemen, thank you very much." "I want to take a second to point out two or three flags you'll have to obey." "The first, and most important is the green flag." "That means the race is on." "When the green flag is out, you are racing." "If you see the yellow flag, that means there's been an accident... or someone has a problem that will force the track to slow down." "Please follow your leader." "The third flag is the checkered flag." "This needs no explanation." "[ Man Continues On P. A . , indistinct ' ] We can do it!" "This is a 200-lap, 50-mile bicycle race... ridden on a one-quarter mile track." "It consists of 33 four-man teams." "However, this year," "President Ryan has invited an out in town team to participate." "Although they're newcomers, I'm sure they'II give it their best effort." "The Cutters, ladies and gentlemen." "Any of the team members during the race may exchange to another member... whenever they feel exhausted or in need of help." "[ Man In Red Jacket] Gentlemen, mount your Roadmaster bicycle." "[ Cheering, Applause ]" "[Man] Go!" "♪ J' [ Organ ] [ Chorus, Audience ] ♪ Indiana, our Indiana ♪" "♪ Indiana, we're all for you ♪" "♪ We will fight for the cream and crimson ♪" "♪ And the glory of old l.U. ♪ I.U.!" "♪ Never daunted We'll never falter ♪" "♪ In the battle, we're tried and true ♪" "♪ Oh, Indiana, our Indiana ♪" "♪ Indiana, we're all for you ♪ I.U.!" "♪ Indiana, our Indiana ♪" "♪ Indiana, we're all for you ♪" "♪ We will fight for the cream and crimson ♪" "♪ And the glory of old l.U. ♪ I.U.!" "♪ Never daunted, we'll never falter ♪" "♪ In the battle, we're tried and true ♪" "♪ Oh, Indiana, our Indiana ♪" "♪ Indiana, we're all for you ♪" "L.U.!" "♪ Indiana, we're all for you If" "I.U.!" "[ Man Over P.A. ] They're on the starting line." "They're coming down now!" "The green flag is up!" "The Little 500 is under way!" "[ Man ] Hey, move it!" "Get out of my way!" " Go, faster!" " Hey, hey." "Come on, man." "Let's go." " Move it!" " Hey, watch it." "[Announcer] Ana' here they come, rounding the corner... for the completion of the first of this 200 lap event." "[ Man ] Watch it, man." "[Cheering ]" "[ Man ] Look out." "[Announcer] The perennial favorite teams are up in the lead group of this race." "[ Cyril ] Come on!" "All right!" "He's movin' up!" "Look at him go!" "[ Hollers]" "[ Announcer On Radio ] So after 25 laps, two of the perennial favorites are up front" "The Sigma Tau Omega team and the Acacia team." "I should point out what a remarkable job the Cutter team is doing." "They started in 34th position, and they're doing a beautiful job moving up through the field." "Oh." "The Acacia team has just' given a signal on the last' lap that they wanted to make an exchange." "We see the rider from the Acacia team accelerating away... giving himself a lead so the receiving rider can get on the bike... and not be behind when the pack comes by." "Beautiful exchange!" "Another team is exchanging right behind." "Here are our leaders coming in for an exchange." "Sigma Tau Omega team." "One of the teams is moving up very quickly on the outside." "It appears to be team number 34, the Cutter team." "Here he is, fighting nip and tuck to take the lead." "He's done it!" "He's taken the lead!" "Team 34 has assumed the lead, coming from last position." "What an incredible effort on the part of the leader of this race." "[ Man ] Come on!" "You got him!" " Let's go!" " Come on!" "The leading teams at this point' in the race are the Curlers, the Sigma Tau Omega team, the Phi Psi's, the Delta Chi's and the Acacia team." "The rider for the Cutters team- Dave Stohler" "That's my boy!" "Is pulling ahead e even further a we y." "Pulling ahead!" "It' is incredible, the job he is doing." "[HonkingHorn]" "Come on, Dave!" "He is really bearing down and is turning in some terrific lap times here." "!" "don't happen to have a stopwatch, but" "[Tires Squeal ]" "He won't last." "This is utterly amazing." "After 25 miles" " That's 100 laps, folks- the rider for the Cutter team is still out front." "We've learned he has yet to come in for an exchange." "We're number one!" "Someone's down." "There's an accident in the second corner." "I can't see who it is." "Just a second." "It's Dave Stohler from the Cutter team... who's taken a bad spill." "He had a 3/4 of a lap lead." "I can't see if he's hurt." "He is up, and he's getting on the bike, but he's obviously in agony." "Come on, Dave!" "No way." "He wants off, man." "That's the signal." "He's coming in." "Here you go." "I don't want to race." "You go!" "Get on the bike!" "[ Sigma #1 ] lt's ours now. lt's our race." "[ Sigma #2 ] We got it." "Get going!" "We got a lead!" "No one is going." "The other rider is standing in the pit holding the bike." "Get out there, Mike!" "Get on the bike!" "The little guy's getting on the bike!" "You okay?" "What's the matter?" "What happened?" "[ Sigma #1 ] I don't believe it!" "[ Laughing ]" "As a result of that terrible exchange... the Cutter team has dropped from the lead." "The Sigma Tau Omega team has regained the lead." "The Cutter team has fallen into second position." "Here comes another team challenging and has passed the Cutters." "The Cutters have fallen into third place." "Try as they may, they seem to be losing ground." "Dave Stohler has been taken" "[ Cheering ] Let's go!" "Well, Ev, he tried." "Even the announcer said he tried." "It's all over." "[ Man ] Let's go!" "Help!" "Nice try, kid." "The lead team has just completed 170 of these 200 laps." "There are only 30 laps remaining." "The Sigma Tau Omega team looks unbeatable." "Although many things can happen, as we've already seen today... things can change like the wind." "Stay on this side of the bike." "The other side." "Bring it in!" "Go, you cutter, go!" "[ Man ] Move out." "Move out." "The Cutters made an exchange." "They now have a new man on the bike." "He's been doing a very good job." "He has moved the Cutters into fourth position." "Ana' appears to be moving enough to make a serious challenge for third position." "We'II have to wait and see if this is able to happen." "We're not doing too bad." "This once again points out the fact that this is a team effon'." "One man may fall back, another may be exceptional... but sometimes when you're down another man can pick up ground that you've lost." "This appears to be what's happening here." " We showed those shitheads." " Showed them what?" "Come on, Mike!" "Bring it in!" "Come on!" "It appears even with the injury, Dave Stohler- [ Indistinct]" "It appears he may be getting back on the bike." "Dave Stohler is back on the bike." "But his teammates are taping his feet to the pedals." "This is perfectly legal... but it does mean he will not be able to exchange for the remainder of the race." "The next 15 laps he must ride by himself." "Pick it up!" "Pick it up!" "Pick it up!" "He's back in the race!" "He has dropped from fourth into fifth position." "There are only 15 more laps remaining." "Go, son!" "Go, damn you!" "It remains to be seen if Dave will be able to close up the gap." "[ Muttering, Indistinctly]" "You'll get on the bike when he does." "Stay behind him till the third turn." "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "One hundred ninety six completed." "The Cutters, team number 34, now in second place." "They have completed 198 laps." "198 laps!" "Still leading, Sigma Tau Omega, team number 1." "[Crowd Chanting ] Go, go, go, go, go, go!" "And here comes your leader now through turn number four." "Coming down to take the white flag!" "One lap to 90-'" "It's a duel between Sigma Tau Omega and Cutters... team number 1 and team number 34... as they battle it out through the last lap." "[Crowd Shouting ] Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "[Announcer] Teams number 7 and 34 battling it out neck-and-neck... as they come down the short stretch." "Half a lap to go." "They're going into turn number three." "Number 1, still leading." "34 coming up very close on the inside!" "Here they go for the checkered flag!" "And 34 wins!" "[ Indistinct]" "All right!" "And now, this is what you have been waiting for." "The winning team, from Bloomington, Indiana... the winner of the Little 500" "The Cutters!" "[ Shouts ]" "Bye." "See you later." "The Union?" "[ In French Accent] Pardon." "Do you know where is the Office of the Purser?" "You must mean the Bursar's Office." "Uh, oui Bursar." "I was thinking of taking French, but it's my first year." "Have you ever seen Le Tour de France?" "No." "No'?" "Mon dieu!" "[ French Accent] The French riders, they're the best!" "Hiya, big shot!" "Bonjour, Papa!" "I We will fight for the cream and crimson I" "J" And the glory of old I.U. J" I.U.!" "♪ Never daunted We 'II never falter ♪" "♪ In the battle, we're tried and true ♪" "♪ J' Oh, Indiana, oh, Indiana' ♪" "♪ Indiana, we're all for you If" "I.U.!"