"'Previously on friends'" "Well, I tracked down Marcel and get this," "He's right here in New York filming "Outbreak II" " The Virus Takes Manhattan."" "Hey buddy, Marcel." "Marcel." "Uh, excuse me folks this is a uhh..." "Closed set." "We know but we're friends with the monkey." " Good morning." "Hey pal, look who I brought." "It's your old friend Harry Elefante." " Woah, dude, burn." "I don't get it, he seemed so happy to see me yesterday." "Hey don't take it personal, he's under a lot of pressure, ya know, starring in a movie and all." " Now just how big of a star is Marcel?" " In human terms, I'd say" " Cybill Shepard." " Woah." "So, are you guys in the movie, or are you just really paranoid." "Hey Sal, Jerry wants to know if the monkey's ready for the subway set?" "Uh, excuse me." "Jerry is the director, which one's he?" "The one in the director's chair." "Gotcha." "Phoebs, walk with me." "OK." "Um, how come I'm walking with you?" "Well, we're, we're just goin' over here so that we can get away from the horrible flesh eating virus, for the love of God woman, listen to me." "Is he lookin', is he lookin'?" "F r i e n d s Season 213.The One After the Superbowl II" " We've got a problem." " Tell me." "I can't do Chris's makeup." "She refuses to acknowledge that she has a moustasche." " Is it bad?" " It looks like one of her eyebrows fell down." "Now unless someone convinces her to let me bleach it, Jean-Claude Van Damme is gonna be making out with Gabe Kaplan." "I'll talk to her." "I hate actors." "Nice camoflauge man, for a minute there I almost didn't see ya." " Excuse me." " Ahhhh." "Uh, is your name Chandler?" "Uh, yes, yes it is." "Chandler Bing?" "Do you know me or are you just really good at this game?" "I'm Susie Moss." "Fourth grade, glasses," "I used to carry around a box of animal crackers like a purse." "Susie Moss, right, yeah, wow, you look... greatjobgrowingup." "It's nice to see you're not still wearing that denim cap with all the little mirrors on it." "Oh, right, well yeah, I graduated fourth grade and realized I wasn't a pimp." "Remember the class play?" "You, you pulled up my skirt and the entire auditorium saw my underpants." "Yes, back then I, uh, used humor as a defense mechanism." "Thank God I don't do that anymore." " Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God." " What what what what?" "Jean-Claude Van Damme." "I didn't know he was in this movie, he is so hot." "Ya think?" "The muscles from Brussels, wham bam Van Damme, did you see Time Cop?" "No, was he any good in it?" " Rachel, he like, totally changed time." " Wow." "So why don't you go talk to him?" "Oh, yeah." "What, so you go over there, you tell him you think he's cute, what's the worst that could happen?" "He could hear me." "OK, I'm doin' it for ya." "Oh Rachel don't, don't you dare, don't, don't." "Tell him I cook." " Excuse me." "Hi." " Hi." "Um, this is gonna sound kinda goofy but uhhm, my friend over there, who cooks by the way, um, she thinks you're cute." "You don't think I'm cute?" "I, I don't know, um, do you think you're cute?" "OK, we're kinda gettin' off the track here." "Um, I was supposed to come here and tell you my friend thinks you're cute." "So what should I tell her?" "You can tell her I think her friend is cute." " Makeup." " Oh that's me, I gotta go." "Oh uh, o, OK." "Um, so listen, how many times am I gonna have to touch you on the arm before you ask me on a date." "Well, uh, let's try one more..." "there you go, say Ernie's, 8 o'clock." "I'll be there, and who knows, if things go well, maybe this time I'll get to see your underwear." "No one was around to hear that?" "So what'd he say?" "Agh, what a jerk." "I kept talking about you and he kept asking me out." "I mean, naturally, you know, I said no." "Well, thanks anyway." "He just kept asking, and asking, and asking, and asking, and asking, and asking." "Rachel if you, if you want to go out with him, you can." "Sound like a big jerk to me but if that's what you want to do..." "Jean-Claude she said yes, I'll see you tonight." "Thank you." "And then Jean-Claude took me to that place Crossroads and that's where we hung out with Drew Barrymore." "Oh man, she's so smokin, she has got the greatest set of..." "no guys around, huh." "Does anybody need anything?" "Oh, I'll have an espresso." "Oh acutally, I'll get it." "If I ask you to, you'll probably end up drinking it yourself." "That is so unfair." "I know." "Oh, like you would drink her coffee after what you did to her with Van Damme." "Hey Joey I have to cancel racketball for tonight, that was Marcel's trainer." "He's gonna let me have him for a couple of hours." "You're blowin' me off for a monkey?" " Hey, we can rescedule for Saturday." " Yeah, unless you hook up with a bunch of pigeons." "Hey, stick a fork in me, I am done." "Stick a fork what?" "Like, when you're cooking a steak." "Oh, OK, I don't eat meat." "Well then, how do you know when vegetables are done?" "Well you know, you juist, you eat them and you can tell." "OK, then, eat me, I'm done." " I've met the perfect woman." " What?" "OK, we're sitting on her couch, we're fooling around, and then suddenly she turns to me and says," "'Do you ever want to do it in an elevator?" "'" " What did you say?" " Ahh, I believe my exact words were, 'Flaign,en - sten'." "I mean I didn't know what to say, how do you know if you wanna do it on an elevator?" "Oh, you just know." "Oh, shoot, we gotta go, got a reservation in 30 minutes." "Oh no no no no, no no no no no no, you see, what I had planned shouldn't take more that 2, 3 minutes tops." "Oh, 200 seconds of passion." "We gotta go." "But um, here's an idea, have you ever worn women's underwear?" "Well, ye, yes, actually, but, uh, they were my Aunt Edna's, and there were three of us in there." "Well I was thinking it would be um, kind of sexy if you wore mine tonight, at dinner." "You want me to wear your panties?" "Could ya?" "Well, if I was wearing your underwear then, uh, what would you be wearing?" "..." "You're swell." "OK, got the music, got the dinner." "Oh and check it out, I made Marcel's favorite dish, banannacake." " Oooh." " With mealworms." "Yaaahhh." "Ahhh, candles." "What'dya thinks gonna happen here tonight?" "Hello." "Oh hi, are you on your way ove-." "Oh." "No, no, I, I understand, I mean a monkey's gotta work." "No it, it's no big deal, it' not like I uh, had anything special planned." "Yeah OK, OK." "OK, OK, bye." "OK, Rachel, why don't you start talking first." "Alright, I feel that this is totally unjustified." "She gave me the green light, I did nothing but-." "Do you think I can't see you in the TV set?" "Alright Monica, if there is something that you would like to share..." "Ya know, you had no right to go out with him." "That is the most ridiculous." " You sold me out." " I did not sell you out." " Yes you did." "Absolutely." " Would you let me talk." "Did you just flick me?" "OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus" "Ow." "That hurt." "Quit flicking." " Ow, you stop flicking." " You flicked me first." "OK, now I'm gonna kick some ass." "Ow." "Ow." "Ow." "Alright, now I will let go if you both stop." "Oh, what do you, you want me to stop seeing him, is that what you want?" "Uh-huh." "You want me to just call him up and tell him that you're seeing him instead?" "That's what you want?" "OK." "Oh that's what you want." "Yes." " Fine." " Fine," "There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches." " Thanks for letting me tag along tonight you guys." " Forget about it." "How you doin there squirmy?" "I'm hangin in..." "and a little out." "So, assistant to the director." "That's a really exciting job, I mean, you must have a ton of cool responsibilities." " I have nothing to do with casting." " So what're you guys gonna eat?" "How come all I can think about is putting that ice in my mouth and licking you all over?" "Because I went to an all boys high school and God is making up for it." "I want you right here, right now." "Right now, right here." "Don't ya think we're in kind of a public plaaaa." "They do have the shrimp." "Meet me in the bathroom." "I'm going to the bathroom now." "C'mon." "Alright mister, let's see those panties." "Alrighty." "Ooh." "Ooh." "But ya know what would be even sexier?" "What?" " If you didn't have your shirt tucked into them." " Oh." "Alright." "Now I would like to see you wearing nothing but them." "Take your clothes off." "OK, but uh, I hope you realize this means we're gonna miss hearing about the specials." "C'mon hurry, hurry." "Hey, do you want this done quick, or do you want this done right?" " Alright, turn around." "Time to see you from behind." " OK." "Oh, somebody's been doing his buns of steel video." "Well, you want me to uh, clench anything, or-..." "Susie?" "Susie." "This is for the fourth grade." "Huh?" "Where, whaddya mean?" "Whaddo I mean." "Whaddya mean, whaddo I mean?" "I mean underpants, mister, that's what I mean." "What, what's what you mean?" "My skirt, you lifted, kids laughing." "I was Susie Underpants 'till I was 18." "That was in the fourth grade." "How could you still be upset about that?" "Well um, why don't you call me in 20 years and tell me if you're still upset about this." "Alright, I hope you realize you're not getting these underpants back." "I can't believe this, just like 2 weeks ago I was watching Sudden Death, now I'm on a date with Jean-Claude Van Damme." "Can you beat up that guy?" " Can you beat up that guy?" " Sure." "This is so wild." "Ya know," "I gotta admit, I was kinda surprised that you agreed to go on a blind date." "Normally, I would not do it." "Well, what made you make the exception for me?" "'Cause Rachel told me uh, you were dying to have a threesome with me and uh, Drew Barrymore." "By the way, Drew has some groundrules and..." " Say you're sorry." " No." " Say it." " No." "Rachel, you say you're sorry or your sweater gets it." "OK, OK, that is my favorite sweater, that is my third date sweater." "Say you're sorry." "OK, you wanna play?" "OK, let's play, let's play." "What're you gonna do?" "You give me back my sweater or it's handbag marinara." "You don't have the guts." "Oh yeah." "Well, at least I wasn't too chicken to tell some guy I thought he was cute." "Oh alright, stop, STOP THE MADNESS." "This is crazy." "Who can even remember why this even started in the first place?" "Yes that's right." "But still, I-, look at your purse, look at your sweater, look at yourselves." "I'll help you fix your sweater." "I'll help you throw out your purse." "I'm sorry that I made you stop seeing him." "Well, I'm sorry I went out with him when I knew you liked him." "I'm sorry that I borrowed your gloves." " Joey?" " Ma?" "Joey!" "Chandler?" "What're you still doin' here, I though you guys took off." "Oh, no no no, she took off with my clothes." " Are you naked in there?" " Not exactly..." "I'm wearin panties." "Huh, you uh, you always wear panties?" "No, no, this is the first time." "Wow, talk about your bad luck," "I mean, the first time you try panties and someone walks off with your clothes." "I was not trying them out, Susie asked me to wear them." " Well, let me see." " No." "I'm not letting you or anybody else see, ever." "Alright, alright." "Woah, someone's flossing." "Joey, some people don't like that." " Chandler's wearing panties." " What?" " Let me see." " No, no, you don't have to see." "Hi Tushie." "Alright, one of you give me your underpants." "No?" "Can't help you, I'm not wearing any." "How can you not be wearing any underwear?" "Oh, I'm gettin' heat from the guy in the hot pink thong." "Alright look Ross I'll give you 50 dollars for your underpants." "Hi." "Hey Phoebs, can I have the milk after you?" "I'm almost done with it, keep your panties on." "Hey, hey, and I'm in the movie." "What happened?" "One of the virus victims called in sick, so Cathy recommended me and boom, I'm dying on the gurney." "Oh Ross, Marcel just finished his last scene if you want to go down there and say goodbye." "Ahh, oh that's OK, I mean, he's probably got, you know, parties to go to and stuff." "But, ya know, he's moved on." "Hey, that, that's the way it goes right." " Oh my God." " What?" "You know, I think I want to write a song about all this." " Oh yeah." " Yeah." "Oh, except one of the strings on my guitar is broken." "Hey, Chandler, can I borrow your G-string?" "How long you been waitin' to say that?" "About 20 minutes." " Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying." " Aaaaagggghhhhh." "Cut." " Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying." " Aaaaagggghhhhh." "Cut." " Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying." " Aaaaagggghhhhh." " Mommy" " Cut." "Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dead."