"[Baby giggling]" "[Crumbling]" "[Men chanting]" "?" "[Buzzing]" "[Buzzing continuously]" "[Electrical bursts] - [Girl]:" "Ah!" " Come on Penny, call it." "Where the fuck are they?" " Uh... there!" " Brains!" " I can shoot through ya!" "[Gunshot]" "Right in the kisser." " You know you don't have to take such pleasure Max." "That used to be a human being." " Shut it, Penny!" "Remember," "Direction is critical." "I wanna hear one o'clock, two o'clock, three o'clock" " Ten to ten!" "[Zombie shouting]" " Whoa!" "[Growling]" " Christ, Penny, little help would be nice." "[Zombie yelling]" "[Buzzing]" " OK!" " Old school." " Nice." "Show off." " Well?" " Uh... um..." "I don't know." "I'm getting multiple readings." " Multiple readings, piece of shit." "Soo-eee!" "Zombie, zombie, zombie, zombie, zombie, zombie." "Soo-eee!" " [Zombie]:" "Brains." " [Zombie]:" "Brains." " Looks like this party's just getting started." " [Zombie]:" "Brains." "[Gunfire]" " [Zombie]:" "Brains." "?" "?" "[Buzzing]" "?" "[Splat!" "]" " Eww!" " [Whispering]:" "Shh, Tina." "You'll wake Sarah and Craig." "It's just a bug." " I'm sorry, Steve, I'm just not really used to all this..." "nature." " Don't worry, the family cottage is very modern." "The outhouse is barely 20 feet from the front door." " Ha-ha, very funny." "OK, I need you to focus." "Think head table." "Ready?" "A?" "Or B?" " Uh..." "A?" " Oh, my God, I'm so happy that you said that, 'cause otherwise I would have had to order in the yellow orchids from Thailand, and" "I think they almost look the same." " Almost." "Why don't you put that away for now, Tina?" "You did promise you were gonna have fun this weekend." " You're sweet." "I promise to have fun." " Good." " 'Cause I scheduled it in the itinerary." " Um..." " I'm just joking." "That's not the itinerary for the weekend." "This is." " Tina" " Look, Steve, there's still so much to do, and you've been so busy with your whole work human resource thingy." " Workplace conflict resolution initiatives." " Yes, you've had all that stuff." "I guess I'm just feeling overwhelmed." "I know that 300 people may seem like a small guest list." " 300 people?" " But in my family, it's tiny." "I've had to make a lot of compromises for this wedding, which I'm happy to do, but I just want this to be a special day for both of us." " It will be, baby." "I promise you." "No doubt in my mind." " [Craig]:" "Roll over." "[Snoring]" " Your sister snores like a man." " I know." "It's cute." " Yeah." "I never thought my matron of honour would snore louder than my husband, but..." " Tina." " It's just that your sister and I are... different." " I know, and I'm very happy that you chose her to be your maid of honour." " Matron." "She's married, and older." " Well, it really means a lot to me." " Aw, honey, you mean a lot to me." "And you mean a lot to Muffins!" "[Laughing]" " You mean a lot to me too, Muffins." "Yes you do." "Yes you do." " Aww." "So cute!" " Gross, Steve." "Those things eat their own shit." " What are you talking about?" "Germans?" " Tina's rodent." " Sarah, would you like to hold him?" " No." " I would." "Gimme this little shit eater." "Ah." "Ahhh." " Get it away!" " Would you look at us?" "One big happy family on vacation." " Yeah, it's gonna be great." " Yep." " [Steve]:" "I spy with my little eye something that is..." "fluffy." " [Tina]:" "Ha-ha-ha!" "You're talking about the rabbit!" " [Steve]:" "I am talking about the rabbit!" "You got it on the first go!" " [Tina]:" "This is why we're together!" " [Steve]:" "You're good!" "Aaaaaaand... here we are." "So?" "What do you think of the Williams family cottage?" " Uh..." "It's... charming." " Baby, I told you we're roughing it." "[She snaps her fingers]" " Sarah!" "I need to know where the cleaning products are." "We really need to give this place a once over." " Yes, Miss Tina." "Right aways, Miss Tina." " They hate each other." " Yep." " I thought asking her to be her maid of honour would bring them closer together." " Well, bitches are crazy." "Even when they like each other, they hate each other." " Maybe they really like each other." " No, those bitches really hate each other." " Well, I deal with conflict resolution opportunities like this every day." "I think I can, uh" " No, listen, buddy, seriously, your whole corporate Jedi mind shit, it's not gonna work for your team-building skills here." " I got a few activities planned I think will help mend this relationship." " Mmm." "And I have a few activities planned that'll help us get shit faced!" " Craig, you're family." "I need you on board this weekend." "You're my best man!" "?" "[Seductive music]" " You are so..." "sexy right now." " Craig, I'm being serious." " And our balls are kinda touching." "It's OK, we're family." "It's OK." "All right, don't mention that." "That one's free." "?" "[Belching] ?" "[Buzzing]" "?" "[Light zapping] [Mosquito shouts]" "[Mosquito grunting angrily]" " Steve, honey, let's see." "Oh, well, look at you." "You're getting there." "Craig?" "Wow, Craig, those are perfect." " Yeah, can I drink now, please?" " Oh, God, this is brutal!" "This is the cottage." "We're supposed to be having fun." " Its just one more hour," "OK, guys?" "I mean, we're almost done the place cards, and then all we have to do is pick out the readings, make the photographer's list, we're gonna rehearse the speeches real quick" " Babe..." "Sarah's right." "This is our first night here." "Why don't we play a game or something?" " Yes!" "I'll grab the beers." " What kind of game?" " Now, the object of this game is to untangle ourselves without letting go of each other's hands." " Steve, is this a team-building exercise?" " It's a team-building GAME." " So it's like a party game?" " It's kinda like a party game." " It's kinda like retarded." " Sarah, we have to work together as a team." " Can I get my beer?" " No, we can't let go of each other's hands, and we can't talk." " I can't drink and I can't talk?" " Non-verbal cues only." " All right, fine." " Starting..." " Ow!" " Sorry." " Just... go under there." " Guys!" "Remember the rules." "There's no talking." " Oh, God." "Time out." "Time out." "I can't breath!" "Oh, my God!" " I'm sorry." "I tried to go under your arm, but I got stuck in your underarm fa" " My what?" " OK, let's play another game, shall we?" " What, did my matronly underarm fat get in your way?" " Oh, Sarah, don't be so dramatic." " I'm dramatic?" "You're the one who's wedding is taking over our vacation." " Well, if you really feel that way, then maybe I shouldn't have made you my matron of honour instead of one of my real friends!" " Hey, let's get drunk!" "How does that sound?" "[Slurping]" " Way ahead of you, buddy." " Fine!" "I don't want to be your god damned matron!" " Fine!" " Fine!" " Calm down!" "Let's get a little fresh air." " Nobody wants fresh air but you, Steve." "?" "[Mosquito babbling]" "[Belching]" " Ah." "Ow." "Will you please just" "What the...?" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Ow!" " Steve, what is wrong with you?" " Ow!" "Jesus!" "Ow!" " Steve?" " Ow!" "Ah!" "Ah!" "[Steve yelling]" " Oh, my God!" "Steve!" "[Steve yelling] [Mosquito buzzing]" "[Splat!" "]" " Holy fuck, dude!" "Are you all right?" " It just kept coming at me." "I thought I killed it, and then it bit me again." " Whoa!" "That's a lot of blood." " Oh, honey, are you all right?" " No, he's gonna be fine, all right?" "Some dudes just can't take the sight of their own blood." "Like, I was sword fishing once, and buddy was casting off, and he catches his buddy's nose, and, like, rips like half of it off, there's blood everywhere" " I think I'm gonna be sick." " All right, that is it." "Party is over." "We are going to bed." " Yeah." "Definitely." " Steve, seriously?" "You're gonna make me drink alone?" " Groom's mess." "Best man cleans up." "I'm gonna go set some place cards on fire." " That's a buzz kill." " [Tina]:" "Maybe we should go home in the morning." "This may not have been the best idea." " Hmm?" " It's just that I get a lot of work done at home and, you know, the salon really needs me." " No." "No, no, no." "I think we should stay." " It's just that your sister is so..." "Baby, are you OK?" "You're as white as a ghost." " I don't feel so good." " Ohhh, is my big strong man scared of a little bit of blood?" "I know what'll make you feel better." "You haven't had one of these in a while." " Oh, yeah?" " A... foot massage!" " Oh." "Yeah!" "It's weird." "I just..." "I just don't feel right." " You have cold feet." " No." "No, no, no, no, no." "No, I don't." "It's, it's..." "I'm stressed about everybody getting along." " No, Steve, your feet are like icicles." " Oh." "Sorry." " That's OK." "Sarah and I... we just... we just rub each other the wrong way sometimes, that's all." "[Steve sighs]" " I love you, baby." " You're cute." "OK, I promise to make more of an effort to play nice with your sister." " And I promise to make more of an effort not to get attacked by killer mosquitoes." "[She chuckles]" " You can't help it." "They like to suck your blood because you're so sweet." "Ah-ah." " Hey, Penny." " Yeah." " Come here, get a picture of me with fat zombie here." " You're a child, Max." " Ooh, that'll be a keeper." " This is weird." "I've never seen the orb--whoa-- flicker like this" " Really?" "What's it saying?" "[He gasps]" " What?" " Tactical Bacon is... that way!" " Max." " Are you hungry, fat zombie?" "[Funny voice]:" "I want some Tactical Bacon!" " Max." " Of course you're hungry, fat zombie." "You're a fat zombie." " Max, we need to investigate the area, OK?" " All right." "Should we investigate the area, fat zombie?" "[Funny voice]:" "Tactical Bacon now!" " The orb is never wrong, OK?" " Yeah, OK, right." "Well, we'll eat and then we'll check out the area." "But, uh, first, come here, come over here." "Come here." " Yeah?" "I want you to give fat zombie a little kiss." " Eww, no!" " Why, is it 'cause he's fat?" " No!" " Jesus!" "[Gunshot]" " Ah!" " My bad." "So much for your magic orb." "Let's eat." " Uh, it's still flickering." " Oh, Christ." "[Gunshot]" "Happy?" " No, it's..." "it's so strange." "It's a..." " Penny!" " It's as if..." " Tactical Bacon!" "[Wolves howling]" "[Steve moaning]" " Good morning!" "Cory Cortex here, comin' at your undead heads with all the brainformation a hungry mind can handle, here at AM 640, The..." " [Group of people]: ..." "Brain!" " Where we get into your heads and sink our teeth into what really matters-- grey matter, that is!" "Right now traffic is a real headache." "In fact, it's a bloody mess!" "And before you head out to work, you" " Good morning, husband." "Rise and shine." " Huh." "Hmm!" "[He sighs]" " Come on, sweetie." "Have some breakfast." " Did someone say breakfast?" "[Laugh track]" " Oh, ha-ha!" "Muah!" " Oh, hey, Steve." "Oh, that looks good!" "You gonna eat all that?" " No, thank you." "Hey, Craig, do you want to go for a run?" " I would, pal, but the weather forecast says there could... be rain." "[Laugh track]" " Would anyone like a smoothie?" " I would." "Oh, no!" "Brain freeeeeeeze!" " Well, let us help you with that." "[Slurping]" " Mmm!" " Mmm!" "So good!" "Steve, you wanna come try this with us?" " Brains." " Brains." " Brains!" " Brains." " Brains?" " THE brain!" " Oh, come on!" " Ah, brains." " Brains." " Brains." "[Tina, Sarah, and Craig repeating "brains"]" " Brains." " Brains." "[Slurping]" " Are you sure I can't help, Tina?" " Nope!" "I'm scheduled for breakfast." "And then I have you guys cleaning up, I have Steve and Sarah making lunch, and Craig and I will clean up, and then I have Steve and Craig starting dinner." "If that's cool with you guys." "AND" "I even gave everyone colour- coded tabs to avoid confusion!" " Vacation itinerary." "Yay!" "[Sarah laughing]" " Good morning!" " Hey," "Pooh bear." "You're up late." "Uh, ooh, no." " Oh, my God." "You look like shit." " Nothing a good run won't cure, right?" "Everything OK with you girls?" "Super." "OK, shall we?" " Don't be late." "I'm making quiche." " [Steve]:" "All right!" "[She sighs]" " You know, I could teach you how to cook." " When you get married, man, it's like a constant battle to hang on to your manhood." " You guys seem to be doing all right." " Yeah, well, your sister's pretty cool." "She's like the female version of you." "That's why I married her." " That's really disturbing." " Yeah, well, they always say, marry your best friend, and in a weird sort a way" "I suppose I did." " OK, stop." " To be honest, man, I don't even recognize you anymore." "You're all... safe." "What's the matter?" " Sorry." "I can't find my pulse." " You should be looking for your balls." " All right, enough." "You're my best man." "You're supposed to be" " No, a best man is supposed to be the guy that's telling you exactly the way it is." "and that's what I'm doing." "I've known you since college." "Face it, Steve, you're about to settle into the big sleep..." "[Craig's voice muted] [Bird chirping]" "[Heartbeat]" "[Squeaking]" "[Whooshing] [Coughing] Steve!" "Listen to me, all right?" "Men, we're all wired to be alpha dogs." "Even pussy ones like you who want to be Bill fuckin' Cosby, all right?" "And women, they dig alpha dogs." "Even strong-willed bitches like ours." "You want to be happy?" "Grow some 'nads, all right?" "Don't care about peoples' feelings or expectations." "Take what you want, man." " Take what you want..." "[Loud fart] Oh, God, that's gross, man!" " Come on!" "You know what that was?" " Chimichanga?" " No, that was a selfish, thoughtless urge." "And I haven't heard or smelt you fart in like three years." "And do you know why?" "'Cause you're not allowed to." "Heh!" "Brutal." " Do me a favour:" "don't tell Sarah I was smoking." "How do I smell?" " You smell like ass!" "And Mexican food." "Christ!" "Eat a salad." " Jealous." "[Ketchup bottle squirting]" " Steve, you know we're gonna eat at least twice more today, right?" " I can't help it." "I'm starving." " I'm just happy that you're feeling better, honey." "[Belching]" " Eww!" "Gross!" "Steve, you know I don't like that." " I am so sorry." "I don't know what just happened." " Are you OK?" "You look really pale." "too fast, didn't you?" "Did you eats too fast?" "Is there too many eggies in your little belly?" "Are you not feeling very goo-- [Sarah gasps]" "[Sarah laughing]" " Excuse me." " Uh..." "I'm just, um..." "I'm just gonna make sure he's OK." "I'll be right back." " I know the itinerary says I'm supposed to clean up... but..." " It's fine." "[He spits]" " Hey." " Hey." "You're smoking?" "I thought you gave it up when you moved in with Craig." " Yeah, I started again after you proposed to Tina." "[He sighs]" " I don't know what's happening to me." " You're marrying a fuckin' bitch?" " Don't start, please." "Why can't you just try to get along?" " I'm sorry, Steve, but I don't like her." "And I resent you for guilting me into being her matron of honour." " I'm happy with Tina." " Steve, you look like shit, OK?" "And I think maybe this is your body's way of telling you something that your brain is afraid to." " OK, I'm giving up a few things here and there." "That's it." "That's what a relationship is!" "I'm not like you, Sarah." "I'm not" " A bitch?" " No." "I'm not... super strongly opinionated." "All I want is to be content." "Satisfied." "Not struggling or hungry for anything." " Well, then you're already dead." "Don't you want more to live for?" " I'm happy with the way things are." "Please, just..." "just be nice." " Fine." "If that's what you want." " It is." "Thank you." " Are you feeling any better?" " I'm still really hungry, actually." " Well, I wouldn't recommend the quiche." "It was made by a fucking gutter cunt." " Whoa!" "[Sarah laughs]" " Sorry, I'm just getting my fill while I can." "Don't tell Craig I was smoking, K?" "I'm going to go hose the puke off your bride to be." "?" " Max." "These readings are like nothing I've ever seen before." " That piece o' shit's a thousand years old, Penny." "The warranty is long gone." " Max, the orb is fine, OK?" "It's these readings-- they're just, uh, different." "We have to interpret them." " That's your department, sweet cheeks." " Look, I, I can't be sure, but, um..." "I think we might have a mutation on our hands." " Mutated zombies?" "Bring it!" " No, um, I don't think it's a zombie, actually." " I thought that thing only searched out meat puppets." " Well, I mean, it could be, but I also t" "Max?" "Max..." "Max!" "Max!" "Jesus Christ!" " OK, where's all the little lightning bolts?" " Uh, well, well, that's, that's the thing." "I mean, I mean, the charges indicate the presence of zombie DNA, so when one is near, it activates." "But this flickering could indicate a hybrid." " Hybrid?" "What, you mean like a fuckin' hippie car?" " No, Max, like a..." "fucking resistant host." " Oh, Christ, that reminds me of my ex-girlfriend." " Max, this could be exactly what I've been looking for" " Waaaah!" " Oh, Penny, for Christ's sake, that's the last time you drive." " Look Max, this could be exactly what I've been looking for, OK?" "A person with the genetic make-up to resist the symptoms!" " I'm tellin' ya, Penny, the only good zombie is a dead zombie." " No, no, no." "This could be why the orb has been acting so strangely." "And if we can capture this... person, we could extract their DNA and find a vaccine, Max!" " Yeah, well, dream on." " Hey." " Oh, hey, buddy!" " Where you guys going?" " Into town." "You wanna come?" " No, Steve should stay here and get some rest." " Baby, I am so sorry about" " Ah, it's OK." "It's just... you're not feeling well." "You know?" " Yeah." " Yeah." "Ooh!" "Ugh..." "Just... go lie down." " K." " Yeah." " Have fun!" " [Sarah]:" "We won't!" " Max!" "Max!" "Pull in!" "Pull in here!" "[Thunderclap]" "[Thunder]" " Oh, Sarah, it looks like you're not gonna get any sun this weekend." "It's OK!" "I'll book you a spray tan before the wedding." "Hi." "Are you guys lost?" " Oh, uh, no." "We, um, are actually here because" " Have you kids seen any zombies." " Seriously?" " Yeah, we're looking for, uh, a, uh, undead creature." "Humanoid-lookin'." "Possibly, uh, droolin' and, uh, eatin' people's brains." " OK, what my associate is trying to say is that there has been a Stage 1 outbreak" " Oh, come on, Penny, we haven't got time for that." " I recognize you guys from somewhere!" " Here we go." " No, I totally saw you guys online!" " Because my motto is:" "the only good zombie is a dead zombie." "[Host laughing]" " That's ridiculous!" "[Laughing] [Laughing]" " Fuck." "No, fuck you!" " Ahhhhhhhhh!" " Fuck you!" " What were you doing on a website called" "Never mind that." "All right, no, seriously, you guys are fucking hilarious!" "And you, dude, you've got some real talent, all right?" ""Only good zombie's a dead zombie!"" "So fuckin' cheese, that is awesome, man!" "[Max spits] Eww, gross!" "What the fuck?" "!" " What the fuck?" "You're the fuck!" " Craig, get in the car!" " Why the fuck do I gotta get in the car?" "He should get in the car." "Fucker spit on me!" " Just get in the car, Craig!" " Yeah, Craig get in the car." " Get in the van, Max." " Don't tell me to get in the van, Penny." " Max, I need you to trust my judgement right now and get in the van." " You want me to get in the van?" "I'll get in the fuckin' van." " Thank you, Max!" "I'm sorry." "Um, he's been under a lot of stress lately." " Right." " Hey, P!" " Yeah?" " This is what I think of your fuckin' judgement!" " Whoa!" "Max!" "Max, no!" "Oh, my God!" " Ha-ha-ha!" "Fucking hilarious!" " [Max]:" "Shut up!" " Max, what did you do?" " Fuck..." " Oh, my God." "This is bad." "Uh... do you have any, uh, crazy glue?" " No." "We have to go now." " OK, no, I understand, um, but IF you see anything that's out of the ordinary, you can give us a call right there." "Penel-- that's me on the bottom there." "And I also have this for you." "Um... if you could just help" "It sticks." "Can you grab that?" " Yeah, no problem." " Right here is... this!" " Ah." " It's complimentary, and you can just give it a read." "When you have a moment." " Uh-huh." " Uh, sorry to bother you." "yeah." "OK, Bye." " OK." "Bye-bye." " Max!" "Wait!" "Wait!" "Max!" "Max!" " What a bunch of crazies." " [Penny]:" "This is not funny!" "Max, it's not funny!" " Undead creature?" "Humanoid-looking." "Yeah." "Probably drooling... and eating somebody's..." "[Laughing]" "Ohhhh!" "Eating somebody's brains." "Ugh!" "Ugh!" "Brains?" "Ah!" "Mm!" "Mm!" "I want brai-- Mm-mmm." "Mm-mmm!" "Mm-mmm!" "Mm-mmm!" "Mm-mmm!" "No I don't!" "No I don't!" "I want, um..." "I want a...!" "Pecan pie!" "Mmm!" "Pecan pie!" "Mmm!" "Mmm!" "Yeah!" "This is so delicious!" "Mmm!" "Mmm!" "Damn it!" "I want brains." "Ugh!" "Oh, God!" "I'm a zombie!" "I'm a god damned zombie." "Tina's gonna kill me." "[Stomach rumbling]" "[Heartbeat]" "No." "Yes." "Groovy." "Ouch!" "Ahhhh..." "Whew!" "?" "All right, you little bastards." "Food chain ends here." " ?" "Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ?" "?" "Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ?" "?" "Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ?" "?" "Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ?" "?" "Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ?" "?" "Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ?" "?" "Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ?" "[Raccoon squeaking and shrieking]" " Ah!" "[Croaking] Ah!" "[Frustrated rambling]" " ?" "Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ?" "?" "Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ?" "?" "Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ?" "?" "Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ?" "?" "Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ?" " Oh, my God, it's moving." "Oh." "I don't know, Muffins." "Maybe I should just give up, turn myself in." "I'm a pretty crappy zombie." "Come here." "Come here, big guy." "Ohhhh." "Are you scared?" "Sorry I scared you, buddy." "You thought I was going to eat you, didn't you?" "Yeah, you thought I was going to eat you." "You thought I was going to eat your brain!" "[Muffins squeaking] [Crunching]" "[Door opening and closing] - [Craig]:" "Wooo!" " [Tina]:" "Did you take your fucking adrenaline?" " Steve." " [Tina]:" "I don't know how you think you're gonna eat an entire watermelon" "[Tina gasps]" " Hi!" " Let me get this straight." "You think that you are a zombie?" " Little bit." " Tina, this is ridiculous!" "Look at the pressure that you're putting on him for this stupid wedding!" " What?" "!" "My rabbit just died!" " Oh, God, it was a glorified rat!" " Stop it!" "You heard the guy in the driveway." "They said they were looking for me." " Oh, God." " Steve, this is the real world," "OK?" "That guy was a psycho." "There are no such thing as zombies!" " Then how do you explain the brains?" "Ugh!" "Damn it!" " Oh, my God." "Gross!" "My fiancé doesn't eat brains." " Ugh." "Can we please not say that word?" " Actually, I think he does eat... brains." " Ugh." " Exhibit fuckin' A." " Shut up!" "Shut up!" "Steve, we are getting married, and you are just freaking out." "Lots of men do this before the big day." " Honey, I obviously have a problem here." " You have a problem?" "I have a problem!" "Do you know how many people are coming to our wedding?" "How many meals I've skipped to fit into that $5,000 dress?" "And now my fiancé tells me that he doesn't want to marry me by killing my rabbit!" " Baby, listen to me." "I love you." "Of course" "I'm going to marry you!" "This isn't cold feet." "I'm sick!" " Really?" "Really, Steve?" "OK, if you're a zombie, then how come you're not trying to eat my face?" " I don't know!" "I don't want to." "I couldn't hurt anybody." "But baby, I..." "I really need to eat!" "I am so freakin' hungry right now!" "I can't even eat regular food!" " So what do we do?" " We find me something I can eat." " That's it?" " Yes!" "It's not a big deal!" " I'm sorry, uh, no big deal?" "Dude, you're a fucking zombie!" "This is a huge deal." " All right, everybody, let's just calm down." "Craig, does that book say anything about food?" " Page one." " Mmm!" "All right!" "Just listen." "I feel great." "All right?" "I feel good, I really do!" "I just need to find myself some..." "Mmm!" "You know?" "So I'm gonna go to the store and get them." " We're coming with you." " Thank you." " No!" " I'll go change." " This is bullshit." "He's not a zombie." " Of course he's not." "But I'm gonna call him on it." "If he wants brains, I will get him brains." "I'll even mash them up and I will spoon feed him if I have to." "But afterwards, he's gonna tell me what this is really about." " So... should I put this in the freezer?" " Really, Craig?" " Maybe a stew?" " [Steve]:" "Look at this place, look at this!" "This looks great!" " [Tina]:" "Um..." "OK." " [Sarah]:" "Creative Meats." "Gross." " [Tina]:" "Ew." " [Steve]:" "Don't be rude." " [Sarah]:" "I didn't realize meat was a medium for expressing creativity." "[Tina sighs]" " Oh, dude!" "What are ya...?" "Whoa." "This place looks like a Civil War field hospital or something." " Craig, a little positive thinking." " Guys, look." "Skunk meat!" " Fresh skunk meat!" " [All]:" "Ah!" " You look like a gal with an adventurous palate." "You know, raccoon is more subtle than you might think, despite it's popular reputation as a garbage feeder." "Yes, ma'am, I do love me some 'coon meat!" " Who doesn't?" "Ha-ha-ha-ha..." " Actually, we're looking for something, a..." "little off the menu." " Pardon me, sir, but this establishment does not condone the sale of illegal firearms." "I am but a simple butcher." "But, just out of curiosity, what type and calibre are we talking about?" " Ohhh." "No, actually, thank you." "Um, we're actually looking for some... brains." " And maybe some of that racoon meat." " Eww!" " What?" "He made it..." "he made it sound kinda good." " Did I just hear you right, boy?" "Did you just ask me for... brains?" " Yes." " Well, hot dog!" "I'm a brain man myself!" "Wa-hooo!" "This is your lucky day, muchacho" "I don't get as much call for brains, on account of the cholesterol." "But I'll tell ya," "I'll take me a mass of pan-fried calves' brains over a rack of ribs 10 out of 10!" " Ugh!" " Sure." "Ha-ha!" "Me too." " These just came in this morning." " Oh-ho-ho!" "This is messed up." " Yeah, I'm gonna be in the car." " Now, these little ones are appetizer size." "Great for holiday entertaining." "We got squirrel, muskrat, and those little ones there, them's rattlesnake." "Choice eating, those!" "[Steve gulps]" " May I?" " I'm not big on free samples... but I don't get many chances to eat brains with a fellow gourmand, as it were, so..." "Cheers." " Steve!" "That's enough." "You're not actually gonna eat that, are you?" " Oh, yeah." " I will be in the car." " Well, I guess it's a table for two, monsieur!" "Unless..." " Oh, no." "No, I'm good." "Yeah." " Mmm!" " Just like a little candy, right, Stevie?" " They are delicious!" " You like 'em raw, too!" "A man after my own heart." "Mmm!" " What are those ones there?" " Oh, these are simply divine!" "Here we got skunk, owl, Canadian beaver, and rabbit." " Oh, rabbit!" "Your favourite!" "Too soon?" " Mm..." " And this... is la pièce de résistance." "This is genuine, Grade A, all-American grizzly bear brain." "It is to die for." " It's beautiful." " Grill this baby low and slow for" " Oh, my God." " Yeah, he's gonna pay for that." "That's $19.99 a pound." " Ahh." "Ahhh!" " So?" "How do you feel?" " OK." "You know what?" "I feel OK." " We'll take it." "We'll take it all." " Yeah!" "Ha-ha-ha!" " See that?" "Good as new." "You wanna kiss and make up?" " Pull over there." " You want to stay here?" " Uh, listen." "Between the crazy glue and the painkillers for your foot, we have gone way over budget, OK?" "So now we are roughing it." "Don't even!" " Fine." "I like it rough." " Then don't moisturize your hand." " OK, but you have to spit on it." " I will glue that hand to your face!" "[Max laughing] Remove your hand." "Kindly remove your hand right now." " Give me a little." " That's real mature, Max." "[Max laughing]" "You have pushed me to my limit." " Can you please not do that right now?" " What?" " Eat like a fuckin' zombie pig!" " Craig, you're not helping." " No." "I'm not, because I'm not a zombie collaborator." " SHUT UP!" "SHUT UP!" "SHUT UP!" "SHUT UP!" "YOU SHUT UP!" "YOU SHUT UP!" " Ow!" "What the fuck?" "!" " Oh, my God!" " OK." " Don't touch me right now!" " Look, I know this is a lot to take in, but it's really gonna be OK." " Really?" "How?" " Yeah, how?" " Here's an idea:" "why don't we talk about this in the cabin?" " Oh, no, I think we should talk about this on the way home." " Yeah, I agree." "I'll start packing." " Guys!" "Wait!" "Great." "Thanks, Craig." " Eat me!" " What's that supposed to mean?" " Would you two just please stop it!" " OK, damn it!" "I know that you're scared, all right?" "I am too." " I'm not afraid." " There's no reason for us to be treating each other like this." "Now, I'm starting to feel better." "The hunger's not so bad anymore." "Now, someone please tell me where are my snake brains are." " They're in your hand." " Which hand?" " The one in the car." "[Tina gasps]" " Oh, oh, my God!" "Oh, my God!" "I'm so sorry, baby!" " That's amazing!" "I don't even feel that!" " [Sarah]:" "What do you mean?" " I don't feel it." "At all." " It doesn't hurt?" " Nope!" " Seriously?" " It's fine!" "I'm OK!" " [Craig]:" "No pain?" " Uh-uh." " Let's do that again." " No!" " This is stupid!" " No, its actually pretty cool." " OK, you could warn me next time." " Oh, look, you, uh, dropped your little bag of snacks there." "Let me get that for ya." " What the fuck, Craig!" " That was awesome!" " OK, that was a good one." " No, but seriously, we should get you to a hospital." " Why?" "I mean, aside from the brains and a little numbness, I'm fine." "Besides, when it comes down to it, it's really just a dietary restriction." " Yeah, it's like that chick I know, uh, what's her face?" "Um, she's allergic to gluten and shit." "What's her face?" "Fuck." " It's me, you idiot!" "Your wife?" "I'm gluten intolerant!" " Steve," "I just want you to feel like yourself again." " I do, Tina." "I feel great!" "And you know what?" "I'm happy." "And I'm in love with you." " Ugh..." "[Craig gags]" " OK, we can stay." " Seriously?" "Am I the only one that sees a problem with this?" "You can't feel pain!" "You eat brains!" " I don't even want to eat brains... that much." "Look, I promise, the first second that I feel bad, we'll go home." "All right?" " Fine." "But for the record, this is a bad idea." " Lets just try to have some fun." " Oh!" "?" "[Laughing]" "Woo!" " ?" "...go away" "?" "Even though I didn't want to let go ?" "?" "Why can't you see that what you're looking for ?" " Oh!" "Huh?" "Hey!" " ?" "And you're never gonna let it show ?" " Ah!" "[Laughing]" " ?" "...girl like you" "?" "You you you you you you you you ?" "?" "No, no, I don't miss you now ?" "?" "But I will never find another one ?" "?" "No, no, you don't miss me now ?" "?" "But you will never..." " Woo!" " Oh, my God!" " Yeah!" " ?" "...never find another one" " I feel great!" "[Retching]" "[Coughing]" "Oh, my God!" "[Steve retching]" "[Retching and farting]" "[Continuous retching]" "[Steve groaning] - [Steve]:" "Oh, kill me!" " That's it, we have to get him to the hospital." " He's fine." "Look at all the stuff he did today." " Tina, he's not a superhero;" "he's undead!" "I think he's getting worse." " How could this be worse?" " Look." "Right here it says:" ""The undead host must consume living "human cerebral tissue." "Any dead or non-human tissue will eventually be rejected."" " Wh-Wh-What are you talking about?" " Animal brains are like junk food." "It's like he's yakking up zombie mini doughnuts." " Why didn't you tell us about this before?" " What?" "I hadn't gotten that far." "Look at how thick this bitch is!" " Nooo, my Steve is gonna be OK." "He's gonna be OK." "He's gonna be OK just in time for the wedding." " Tina, if this keeps up, by next week we'll be at his funeral." " Oh, hey, buddy." "You get it all out?" " Oh, my God, Steve." "You look like death!" "That's it, Tina." "We have to take him to the hospital now!" " Enough!" "He's fine." "He's fine!" "We are not taking him to some back-water hospital." "He's fine." "You just need some rest, right, baby?" "You just need some rest, that's all." "[She gasps]" " Ahhh..." "Ah!" " Oh, my God!" " Holy fuck, dude!" "That is your ear!" " OK, I draw the line at things falling off my brother's face." "Craig, get the car." " Finally." "See you guys, later." " No, they're coming with us." " Son of a fuck!" " No!" "We are not going anywhere!" "Craig, go upstairs right now and get my cosmetic kit." " Right." " This is fucked." " Honey, I see women that are way worse come into my salon, and you know what?" "After I'm done with them, they're like, like new people!" " I'm in pretty bad shape, Tina." " Look at me." "You and I are going to be doing the chicken dance with my Nonna at our wedding in one week." "OK?" "But right now my man looks like shit, so we have some work to do." "Sarah, go get me a paper towel." " Tina, you're not seri" " Now!" "Craig," "I need you to take Steve's ear and rinse it off." " Fuck that noise!" " [Sarah]:" "Craig!" "[He grumbles]" " What's that?" " Oh, it's eyelash adhesive." "Yeah." " Oh" " Oh!" "[Laughing nervously]" " What?" "Just say they're piercings." "I'm not fucking touching it." " Ugh..." "OK..." "Heh-heh..." "Now, just... hold... still." "OK?" "And..." "[Stapling]" " Ugh!" "RESYNC BY BSpidey87" " Ahhhhh!" "Ahhh, I feel like Frankenstein." "Thank you for being so sweet." " Honey, I'm not giving up on you because of some eating disorder or, or a missing ear." "This wouldn't even turn a head at my family dinner table." " I love you, baby." " OK, now, stay straight." "You don't want to have crooked ears." "No. 'Cause my man has perfect ears." " As long as he looks fine for your fucking wedding." " Craig, can you come here for a sec?" " What?" " Hold this." " Gross!" " Don't move, either of you." "Sarah, can I talk to you in the other room for a second?" " You sure can." " Great." " Whoa, wait." "Where are you guys going?" " [Sarah]:" "We'll be back." " So, uh... zombie dick?" " Yeah, its pretty bad." " So, what now, Tina?" "You want to talk about the fringe on my matron of honour dress?" " All right, that is... it!" " What the fuck?" "!" "You just punched my tit!" " Come on, tough girl." "You got a problem with me?" "Let's see what you" " Oww!" "Ow!" "Jesus!" "You punch like a man!" " What the hell is your problem?" "!" " I just want us to get this out of our systems so that we can work together and help Steve." " So you punch me in the tit?" "!" "What are you, 12?" " You're kind of a bad ass, so I..." "I needed an advantage." " Yeah?" "Well, this bad ass is about to kick your ass!" "If you're done playing zombie makeover with him, we can actually get him some god damn professional help." "[Tina screams]" " What the...?" " Yeah, and those people that came by, they seem like real humanitarians." " Tina!" "Sarah!" " Don't move that ear!" " Yeah, Steve." "This is hot." " I'm sick of you and your Little Miss Perfect bullshit!" " Ugh!" " Girls!" " Just a bit longer." " Don't you even!" "Ah!" "Stop it!" "[Tina shrieking]" "I hate you!" "[Yelling]" "You!" " Bitch!" "[Shrieking]" "[Yelling in pain]" " Emo slut!" " Plastic whore!" "[Steve growling]" "[Steve roaring]" " Enough!" "Tina!" "Try talking to Sarah!" " Fine!" "Sarah, you're a bitch!" " Tina!" "Stop using judgemental language, get to the heart of your conflict, and empathize with her point of view." "And Sarah, stop being so defensively aggressive and be an active listener." " OK." "Sarah, I know how much you love your brother, and I know that you don't think that I'm right for him." "But I love him." "Right now, he's Steve." "But if we don't come up with something, he's gonna turn into a monster." " He already is, you morons!" "Look at him." "He needs... brains." " Ugh." " Ah, gross." " OK..." "Craig is right." " Of course I'm right." "The book says I'm right." " And they're gonna have to be human too." "But maybe I just need a bit." "Just enough so that I can function." " What do you have in mind?" " I'm going to go into town." "I'm going to find somebody that won't be missed." "And I'm gonna eat their fucking brains." "[Tina, Craig, and Sarah laughing]" " Come on." " [Craig]:" "That's rich." " No, you're not." " There's no way, Steve." " What?" " Honey, I just accidentally pulled your ear off." "You're in no condition to hunt." " Well, what then?" " I have an idea." " Jesus!" "Fff!" "Look what you've done to our women, Steve." "And who the fuck packs hooker boots for a weekend at the cottage?" " I do, and you don't have to be involved if you're afraid." " We're just afraid that you girls are gonna get into trouble." " Honey, everything is gonna be fine." " Family takes care of family." " Yeah, and we're family, all right--the fuckin' Manson family!" "So what are you girls gonna do Bring back some sorry prick so he can eat him." " Wow." "Thug life." "Great." " Steve, if we get someone, can you go through with this?" " I'm sure my zombie instincts will just kick in." "But get somebody really old." "Or like a real asshole." " How about a really old asshole?" " Do you want a man or do you want a woman?" " Oh." "A man." "Definitely." "I don't think I could eat a woman." " Gay." "Way to go, Steve." "You're the first gay-ass zombie." "You're really breaking a lot of ground this weekend." " Craig, shut up." "Seriously, we have to... we have to get someone that you're gonna hate so you can..." "I dunno, kill them without remorse." "Like a..." "like a pedophile or a meth dealer." " Or a hipster." "I really hate hipsters." " Or a parking cop." "I hate those bastards." " I hate the Portuguese." "Uh... um, anyways, you just need to make sure you're ready to do what you have to do when we come back." " Craig'll help you get ready." " What?" "Fuck that!" " Come on." "[Sarah sighs]" " So, if, uh, things don't work out between you and Tina, and you decide to marry a gay zombie," "I do support your decision." "But I wont be at the reception, because I don't eat cock or brains." " Yeah, you're hilarious there!" " Yeah, so I RSVP "no"" "to gay zombie wedding." "Yup." "So long, Muffins." " This place reminds me of where my parents would take me camping every summer." " My father... sent me to a survival camp in the Philippines when I was nine." "They, uh, dropped me in the jungle in the middle of a monsoon." "I had to survive for seven days." " Your father did that to you?" " It was my birthday." "I'm tellin' ya, though, those seven days..." "made me tough." "Tough enough to take anything that comes my way." "Alive or undead." " Max, why do you hate zombies so much?" "I mean, what if your mother turned into a zombie?" "What would you do?" " Shoot her in the face." " You would not shoot your mother in the face if she was in a coma." " No." "If she was in a coma, she wouldn't be trying to turn my head into a god damned fondue pot." " Right." "Well, if we find this resistant host, we could find a vaccine." "You'd be a hero, Max." " You're right, I am a god damn hero." "I'm tired of waiting for your orb to tell us what to do." "We're gonna do this my way!" " Uh, where are we going?" " To get some bait." "?" " Him?" "He looks old." "Kinda." " He looks like he could have Alzheimer's." "Is that contagious?" " This is just evil!" " Suck it up, Sarah." "Your brother needs us." " Look." "Soul patch." "That guy's a douche for sure." " He's too fat." "He's like a walking bucket of chicken." " I'm gonna throw up." " Sarah, you need to take that terrified look off your face," "OK?" "We're not gonna get anyone unless you throw out a certain vibe." " What kind of vibe?" " Watch and learn." " Wow." "That's sexy." " I know, right?" "OK, now you try." "Relax, throw your shoulders back, and wipe that look off your face." " OK, how's this look?" " Like you're having a pap smear." " Ugh!" "This isn't going to work!" " We can do this, Sarah!" " I just don't know how we're gonna pick somebody." " We'll figure it out." "You know, just keep our eyes open and eventually somebody'll just end up in our laps." "[Growling]" " Oh, my God!" " What the fuck!" "My car!" " Tina." "Look." "[Chuckling]" "Big scary guy is checking us out." "Hi." "[Chuckling]" " Huh." "That big scary guy is a dead man." "Hey." " Are you crazy?" "She's crazy." " OK." "So, apparently, eight bones make up the neurocranium." "So it's like a bone vault for the brain and brain stem." "This part over here is the parietal." "So, this little sucker is like a quarter of an inch thick and hard as shit." "All right, so you're gonna have to Babe Ruth smash the shit out of this thing so you can have access to the cerebral cortex." " Got it." "Oh, that smells good." "Mmm!" " What the fuck, dude!" " What?" " You just smelled my fucking brain!" " No." "Let's not jump to conclusions here." "No, all right, you're a fucking monster!" " Craig!" " Just stay the fuck away from me, all right?" "Gay-ass zombie!" " God damn!" "?" "[Man chuckling]" " Wow!" "That is so... hot!" "My, uh... woman parts like you too." "Ha-ha-ha..." "Ugh, how is he still standing?" "He's had enough booze to knock out a rhino!" " Don't worry, it's OK." "I have a plan." "Just get him in the back seat." " Are you fucking joking me?" "No fucking way!" " Don't worry, he's harmless." "[Man laughing]" " Oh, yeah!" "Oh, yeah!" " Oh, my God!" "[Man laughing]" "[Laughing]" " Come on!" "I need you to suck it up, and be sexy, and get him in the back seat!" "Come on!" "Go!" "Get outta here!" " Hey... big man." "So... so, you wanna, you wanna go for a ride?" "Stud monkey." "You make Mommy so horny!" "[Tina laughing] What?" " Nothing, nothing, nothing." "Go ahead, get in." " Hey, there." "Whoa, whoa, wait, wait." "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa-- [Zapping]" " Ahhh!" "[Tina laughing]" " You have a pink stun gun?" " Yeah." "It's cute, right?" "[Zapping] OK, lets go!" "I'll drive!" " Wait!" "What about me?" "[Buzzer]" " Pizza, pizza, pizza!" "Ha-ho!" "Pizza!" "[Buzzer] Pizza, pizza!" " Max." " Pizza, pizza, pizza!" "Ha-ha!" "Evening, young lady." " Hello!" "Are you, uh, Captain Cletus?" " Where's the pizza?" " The..." "No, uh, sorry." "We are actually here for something else." " Ma'am, if you are implying I might be in possession of illegal firearms, I will kindly ask you to leave" " No, we don't want guns, Admiral Redneck." "We need brains." " Uh..." "Max." "[Gun cocked]" " Ya'll have a good night, now." " No wait, OK, all we want is brains." " Sorry, Missy, no can do." "Somebody cleaned me out earlier today." " Who?" " Bunch of kids." "Now beat it." " No, wait!" "Can you tell us anything else about them?" " Couple o' pretty-looking ladies was hanging with some queer-looking feller and another that couldn't get enough of my brains!" "Now, git!" " That's our zombie, Penny." "Come on." " The cottage!" "No, Max, wait!" "If the infected one hasn't eaten the others yet, it must mean that he's resisting the infection!" "Which is wonderful!" "Shit!" "Where is that cottage?" " Hey, man, did you order the Vegetarian Nightmare?" "Extra Polish sausage, German sausage, Belgian Sausage," "Russian sausage" " Nope." " Fuckin' hate this job." " Ugh!" "Oh, God." "Ugh!" "[Panting]" "[Panting] OK." "Oh, God." "Ugh!" " [Steve]:" "What the hell!" "I have been worried sick!" " Shut up, Steve!" "Oh, baby, you look kinda better, that's good, but shut up." "You need to help us carry this in." " This is ridiculous." "We need a dolly or something." "Where's Craig?" " Uh..." "sleeping, I think." " Sleeping?" "!" " What?" " Yeah!" "I can help." " OK." " Come on." "OK, I'll take his legs, or" " Oh, my God!" "How did you get this guy?" "!" " Oh, God." "Oh, God." " [Steve]:" "Holy crap!" "This is ridiculous!" "Are you girls pulling?" " Yeah." " Oh, my God!" " Fuckin' freak family." "[Panting]" " OK, we softened him up for you." " That guy is huge!" " I know, honey, but he's out cold." "Are you ready?" " Oh this is crazy." "You girls just kidnapped a guy!" " [Sarah]:" "And now you're gonna eat him!" " OK, listen to me." "This is very important." "This is our new lifestyle, OK?" "And if we're gonna walk down the aisle together, then we both just need to embrace this." " OK, all right." "He's all tied up and he's still out of it." "I wouldn't wait too long." " All right." "I'm gonna go downstairs and eat this guy!" " [Sarah and Tina]:" "OK." " Thank you!" "You've both have been so incredible." "I'm so happy to see the two of you working together so well." "You know, I think if this weekend has taught us anything" " Steve, just GO!" " Wah!" " Love you!" " Wait, wait, wait!" "Here!" " Oh, my God!" "Boots are killing me!" " Oof!" "Ugh!" "OK..." " I can smell his undead ass." " Max, we haven't gotten a reading from the orb." "We've been driving around in circles for hours." "OK, you have all the bells and whistles in here." "You have this!" "Who do you even talk to in this?" "And yet you don't have a NAV system!" " I don't need a fucking computer." "I'm a fucking professional!" "I can feel when they're close by." "I don't need a fucking piece of technology." " [Ring tone]:" "You're a stone-cold killer." " You're a stone-cold killer." "You're a stone-cold killer." " Get it." " You're a stone-cold" " Hello?" " Hey." "Uh, y-you guys came by my place today." "It's my friend, he's turned into a zombie." " OK, uh, uh, calm down, and, uh, where are you?" " Uh, it's 42 Clear Lake Drive." " 42 Clear Lake Drive." " Who is it?" " Oh, we're close!" " Who is it?" "!" "you're just going to do tests, you're not gonna hurt him?" "Your gonna make him back to normal again, right?" " Of course." "He's gonna be in good hands" " You're fucking right he'll be in good hands." "Who the fuck is this?" " Who the fuck is this?" " Hey, calm the fuck down, pal." " I don't want to calm the fuck down." "Fuck you, fucker!" "You calm the fuck down!" " You fucking relax!" " No, you go fuck yourself and get the fuck over here, you fucker!" " No, you fuck yourself, you fuck!" " Fuck you." " Fuck!" "FUUUUUUUCK!" " Max!" "Max, really?" "[Gunshot]" "Those things practically have feelings." " Not anymore." " Ha!" "[Laughing]" "That's stupid." "Mmm... no." "[Grunting]" "Just do it!" "Mmm." " Hey." " What the hell are you guys doing with all those guns?" " Hey there, pumpkin." "Nice of you to call us about your little friend-- 12 hours too late." " You promised me you weren't gonna hurt him." " No, no, no." "No, no, we won't hurt him, OK?" "We promise." "Right, Max?" "We won't hurt him." " You stay here with sugar tits." "I got this one." " No, wait, Max." "Max, this one is different." "OK, we cannot waste this opportunity." "It'd be like throwing away the cure for cancer." "OK, Max, listen!" " No, you listen!" "Zombies are good for only one thing:" "killing'." " Max, we need this guy, OK?" "[Penny gasps]" " No, no!" " Christ." " [Penny]:" "No, no, no, no!" " I don't need anybody." "[He groans]" "Mmm..." " This orb was centuries... old." " Lady, fuck your orb, all right?" "Make sure that maniac doesn't hurt my friend!" "[Door busted open] - [Max]:" "Where is he?" " No, you don't understand!" " Don't you touch my brother!" " Where is he?" "!" " Sorry, pal." "[Grunting with effort]" "[Yelling]" " Open the door!" "Open the door!" "Open the door!" " No!" " Open the door!" "Open the door!" " [Sarah and Tina]:" "No!" " Open the door!" "Open the door!" "Girls!" "Girls!" "Open the door!" "Ah!" "[Big man growling]" "[Yelling] [Gunshot]" " Is that" " Yes!" "It is." " You promised me you weren't gonna hurt him!" " Wait!" "You called them?" "!" " Uh-oh." "Awkward." "Hey!" "What the hell is that?" " Oh, just hundreds of years of mystical antiquity that you selfishly discar" " Oh, for Christ's sake, Penny, get over it!" " I wanna say goodbye to him." " No, no, no, no, no!" " No, it's..." "it's pretty messy." " Thank you so much for coming." "I don't know what we would have done without you." " Well, luckily, Little Miss Braveheart over here, she had the good sense to give us a call when she did." "Way to go, pumpkin." "Now you can sew a big, fat "Courage" badge on your Girl Scout sash." "Great big badge in the shape of a lion, giving you two thumbs up." "How about that, huh?" "'Cause you are such a mature young woman." "You may even get asked to the junior prom where you can get fingered in the cafetorium, right next" " You know what?" "Fuck you, asshole!" "All right?" "That was my best friend!" " And we are so sorry for your loss, and we will personally" " You know what?" "Why are you OK with this?" "Your brother's dead!" " You're right!" "It's, it's, it's horrible!" "You, you monsters!" "Get the fuck out of here!" " Yes, yes, yeah, yeah!" "You know what?" "You guys are animals!" "Leave now!" " OK, you're right." "Let's blow, Penny." " [Penny]:" "I'm sorry." "[Noise inside truck]" " What the fuck?" "!" "[Steve gasps]" " Hi." "Ugh!" " Holy fuck, Steve!" "You're OK!" "Did you see me?" "I was fucking crying and everything!" "Did you see?" " Nice try, zombie." "Now, get read¦÷ to say your prayers... in hell!" " No!" " Get out of the way." " No!" "You are not gonna shoot him, because we are getting married in six days!" " Don't make me shoot through ya." " No!" "Don't you see?" "He's not a complete zombie!" "He's still human!" " Max, you idiot!" "Don't you see this is it?" "He's resisting the infection." "This is our chance to find the cure!" " Oh, yeah, sure, you'd like that, wouldn't ya?" "A nice little guinea pig that you can study and make everything all better." "Then everybody gets booster shots and lollipops and there are no more zombies." "Let me tell you something, sister." "The only shot that cures a zombie comes out of the end of this sweet little baby right here." "[Girls gasping in fear]" "Suck it up, brain junkie, 'cause you ain't getting a lolli after this one." " [Craig]:" "No!" " Get off me, you bitch." "Happy honeymoon." " Ah!" "[Sarah yelling]" " Shit!" " Whoa!" "Hey!" "[Max groaning]" " Do it, Steve!" " Yeah, eat that fucker's head!" " Oh, God, messy fucker." " I can't do this." "Ah... it's time to face the fact that I'm, uh, whatever this is." "And whatever this is is not safe to be around." " Oh, Steve, dude, seriously, I am so sorry I called you a gay-ass zombie all right?" "We can put you on an island somewhere, all right?" "Somewhere far away." "We'll come visit, like at Christmas and shit, right?" " Steve, think about this." "[Sarah sobbing]" " Sarah, I can't be this selfish." "I can't go on having people in my life be accessory to murder." " No, Steve!" "No!" " You'll take care of her, yeah?" " Steve, please, give me the gun." " I am so sorry, Tina." "I really wish I could be there for all of it-- for the chicken dance with your Nonna, eating our wedding cake, seeing you in your dress." "I love you." " I love you, Steve." "?" " All right." "Where do you wanna do this?" "You want to, uh... go around the back?" "Or what do you wanna do?" " [Penny]:" "Max, let's talk about this!" " Whoa!" "Here?" "!" "Really?" "!" "Now?" "!" "Are you sure?" "!" " I just want you to know, of all the zombies I've encountered, you're... the most human." " Please." "Not in front of my girl." " All right." " Oh!" " The only good zombie..." "is a dead zom-- [Gunshot]" "[Gasping]" " Shit..." "[Body hits the ground]" "I was aiming for his leg." "[Shocked laughter]" " Holy fuck, lady!" "You just, like, totally wasted your boyfriend!" " He was not my boyfriend." "He was the muscle." "OK, Steve?" "Steve." "Here's how it is." "Um..." "I could put you down right now, if that's what you want me to do." "Or, you can come with me, and we can see if we can't find a cure for this, uh, this thing." "Now, I-I-I can't promise any thing, b-b-but" "I will use all of my resources, I will work day and night," "I will use my education until we find a way to beat this infection." "Oh, and, and when we're done with this and we find a cure..." "you'll be a hero." " Really?" " I'll be a hero." "But, uh, but you'll be a celebrity, which is..." "pretty much as good." " Dude, we are gonna be famous!" " So, what do you say, Steve?" " All right, I'll-- [Gunshot]" " Ahh!" "[Gasping]" " Baby!" "Are you all right?" " You fucking moron!" " We're safe now." "Everything is gonna be fine!" " You are a fucking moron!" "She was gonna help us." "She was gonna help Steve!" "You ruined everything!" " She was gonna hurt him, Craig!" "OK?" "!" "She wanted to use him for experiments!" " No, we were gonna be celebrities!" "On the internet!" "Or at least on fucking TV!" " Everything was gonna be fine!" " EVERYTHING IS FINE!" "FUCK!" "Look at Steve!" "Steve!" "You're all..." "happy!" " Hi, Tina." " Oh!" "Hi, baby." "Everything is gonna be OK." "We are gonna get married, we are gonna be happy, and we are gonna be fine." "I think I may have fucked up a little bit at the end there, but its OK, 'cause we made it!" " Baby." " I love you." " I love brains!" "?" " ?" "Hey, hey, hey!" "?" "Hey, hey, hey!" " ?" "It was a bad idea" "?" "To give me this kind of time ?" "?" "When they said "You're gonna be ?" "?" "In solitary confinement"" "?" "While the other inmates" "?" "Are outside lifting barbells" "?" "I'm in an 8x10" "?" "Prison cell" "?" "But in the night of the sun ?" " ?" "Hey, hey, hey!" " ?" "The night of the sun" " ?" "Hey, hey, hey!" " ?" "The night of the sun" " ?" "Hey, hey, hey!" " ?" "The night of the sun" " ?" "New state officials" "?" "Are outside running around" "?" "And they're telling the public ?" "?" "That I need to be put down ?" "?" "And Washington's saying" "?" "Emphatically" "?" "That I wasn't doing things" "?" "Democratically" "?" "But in the night of the sun ?" " ?" "Hey, hey, hey!" " ?" "The night of the sun" " ?" "Hey, hey, hey!" " ?" "The night of the sun" " ?" "Hey, hey, hey!" " ?" "The night of the sun" "?" "The sun!" "?" "?" "It was a bad idea - ?" "It was a bad idea" " ?" "To give me this kind of time ?" " ?" "To give me this kind of time ?" " ?" "It was a bad idea" "?" " It's worse than horrible because a zombie has no will of his own, walking around blindly with dead eyes." " ?" "I'm a zombie girl in a zombie world ?" "?" "When I see you, boy, you make my head twirl ?" "?" "Fall in, fall in, fall in, fall in ?" "?" "I'm a zombie girl in a zombie world ?" "?" "When I see you, boy, you make my head twirl ?" "?" "Fall in, fall in, fall in, sit down ?" "?" "I might be blonde, but I'm not dumb ?" "?" "I can make a J sign with my finger and my thumb ?" "?" "Oh no I got a paper gun pointed at your shirt ?" "?" "It'll totally stain your rug and it's probably gonna hurt ?" "?" "You might still be living and I might be dead ?" "?" "But you're lookin' way dirtier than me, K, fair ?" "?" "It's a rising of the zombies and my face is rare ?" "?" "Because that cute little zombie is risen from the dead ?" "?" "I might have an axe stuck in my neck ?" "?" "But I still got all my homies' and my playas' respect ?" "?" "I got the dopest rhymes goin' through my head ?" "?" "And my playas was right, yo, hip hop's dead!" "?" " ?" "I'm a zombie girl in a zombie world ?" "?" "When I see you, boy, you make my head twirl ?" "?" "Fall in, fall in, fall in, fall in ?" "?" "I'm a zombie girl in a zombie world ?" "?" "When I see you, boy, you make my head twirl ?" "?" "Fall in, fall in, fall in, sit down ?" " ?" "A to the D to the O double G ?" "?" "He used to be a rapper but he's now a zombie ?" "?" "Gimme a couple boxes of some Lucky Charms ?" "?" "And maybe some blood, and both of your arms ?" "?" "'Cause I'm a zombie and I need my food ?" "?" "Excuse me if my hand falls off, I don't mean to be rude ?" "?" "I'm a gangsta and a zombie too ?" "?" "My head just rolled off, could you pass me that glue?" "?" "?" "I like playing b-ball, especially with my head ?" "?" "The NBA won't let me join, I think it's 'cause I'm dead ?" "?" "Knock, knock, who's there?" "I got a date with Wolf Man ?" "?" "We're going to this brand new club to party... ?" "?" "Go, zombie, it's your birthday ?" "?" "We're gonna party like it's your birthday ?" "?" "Go, zombie, it's your birthday ?" "?" "We're gonna party like it's your birthday... ?" "[Raccoon squeaking]"