"Many things had to happen," "I had to suffer, you had to suffer so much." "I existed because you existed." "Now that I am at peace, tied to my roots," "I feel I no longer exist." "BEFORE THE REVOLUTION" ""Those who have not lived the years before the revolution cannot understand the sweetness of life." Talleyrand" "A Sunday in April 1962, just before Easter, in Parma." "And yet I came to you, Church." "Pascal and the Greek Cantos I held tight in my hand." ""With new dreams the Resistance brushed away the dream of the regions federated in Christ and its burning sweet nightingale..." "Damn those who do not know that this Christian faith is bourgeois, in its every privilege, every surrender, every subjugation." "That sin is nothing more than the crime of disturbing daily certainties, hated for fear and aridity." "That the Church is the ruthless heart of the State."" "As if in a dream I find myself before the city's gates, the bastions, the toll gates, the bell towers like minarets, domes like hills of stone, the grey roofs, the open terraces," "and below the streets, neighborhoods, the squares, the Square, and through the middle the river, the Parma, which divides the two cities, the rich from the poor." "And again the Square, so much in the city's center, and yet so close to the fields, that on some nights you can smell the hay." "The square, which feels like a walled arena when we're inside." "There, I move amid figures who are out of step, remote." "Figures for whom only the Church existed before, in whom Catholicism has suffocated all desire for freedom." "These are my equals, the bourgeois of Parma, those of the midday Mass." "I wonder if they were ever born, if the present echoes inside them, as it does in me and cannot be consumed." "Clelia." "We had always gone steady, we were meant for each other." "But Clelia is the city." "Clelia is that part of the city which I have rejected." "Clelia is that sweetness of life which I do not want to accept." "Fabrizio!" "I found her, she's here with her mother." "That's why, for a desperate and final act of love," "I searched all the churches, looking for Clelia." "I found her and I wanted to look at her for the last time." "What time is it?" "Three o'clock." "You must get a Party card." "Because it can come in handy for everything, politics, even poetry." "Then whatever you do or say has a meaning." "If you make a mistake, your mistakes then have a meaning." "Before I was in constant anguish, a kind of guilt feeling." "Cesare helped me overcome this cowardice." "I'd like to help you." "Don't leave home only to go back." "It's worse." "Cesare's been waiting for me." "See you tomorrow." "Agostino!" "Go to the movies, they're showing "Red River"!" "Don't miss it!" "People who run away from home make me laugh, the ones who want to escape." "Why?" "Because it's childish." "What you're doing is too easy." "You reject yourself, complain, run away." "You have to struggle from within." "They want to gag you and you run." "But there's another way!" "Which one?" "I just can't do it." "Leaving home is already a lot for me." "And don't laugh at me!" "If you think your father is a thief, an opportunist, a hypocrite," " That your mother is stupid." " I never said that!" "I understand." "My father may even be a thief, and my mother stupid, poor woman, so dumb that she can't understand anything or anybody," "But you just shut up, understand, shut up!" "What right do you have to judge others?" "And you, what would you do?" "What do you think you're doing?" "The revolution?" "Stay there." "This is for my father!" "And this is for my mother." "And this is for me!" " What's the matter?" " Ah, wine is good!" "Come on, let's go to the movies and see "Red River"." "No, you have to go see Cesare." "Go, you can't be late!" "Go, he's waiting for you, go!" "Shit..." "You look well." "So do you." "I like your hair that way." " Look who's here!" " Hi, Domenico." "Welcome." "How are you?" "Just fine." "Did you have a nice trip?" "How's the weather in Milan?" "Antonio!" "He fell asleep doing his homework." " How are you?" " Fine." "I have to go out, I've got an appointment." "With your comrades!" "Comrades and cake too!" "Yes, that's right!" "'See you tomorrow." "Bye, Aunt." "Don't be late!" "Right, bye!" "It's useless, it won't fit." "You take it home." "We have to go." " Who drowned?" " Bertoli's son." "Did you see it?" "Does it seem right?" "He must have spoken to someone!" "Over here!" " Who are you calling?" " My older brother." "William!" "I found a job." "Where?" "Down there, as a bricklayer." "I'm soaked." " Were you here before, too?" " Yeah, I was." " Then you saw everything." " Yeah, I saw it all." "There, where the water's deep." "We were here talking." "He was standing where you are." "He asked me: "Is the water cold?"" ""At first yes, then you get used to it."" " Are you a relative?" " No, a friend." "He said: "I just ate."" ""Just after you eat is alright, it's later that's bad."" "Coming!" "Those kids always swim after eating." "Nothing has ever happened." "It seems that gentlemen are more delicate." "He stood there in his briefs and I laughed because his feet were freezing." "He went over there, by the pylon." "Then he spoke to you." "Did he tell you anything?" "He said: "This is my first swim of the year."" " What's your name?" " William." "Enore?" "How old are you?" "Seventeen." " Where do you live?" " At the shacks." "Agostino was blond, with tousled hair." "It didn't look like hair." "It seemed more like the feathers of a canary." "He had a little blond goatee and fine features." "Like a Norwegian, but with the eyes of a madman." "Like one of those hitchhikers." "I'm still here, you know." "Agostino changes colleges every year." "Even twice a year when he gets expelled." "His parents say all boarding schools are the same." "They're all good, as long as they're in Switzerland." "He's only twenty, but he's a living legend." "People said all kinds of things about him, he was like a myth." "Even Agostino believed in his myth." "Sometimes I use Cesare's words, in vain in the hope that they are clearer than mine." "To think that not even I, with my pretense of being his teacher, have ever understood anything about Agostino." "He kept running away so often." "Where did he go?" "It was already a lot if he got to Bologna or Milan!" "When he came back I lent him my books." "All wrong for him." "Poor guy!" "How he would suffer if he saw all these people who've come to see him dead." "These acquaintances dressed in black." "Let's go." "Come, Fabrizio." "I'm not coming." "Don't act this way!" "Go, I'll stay with him." "What are you doing?" "Nothing..." "Looking for a way out of here because you don't notice me." "What do you do all day in Milan?" "Nothing..." "I transmit thoughts." "I never miss!" "I play the triangle." "I take three baths a day." "I always cry I always laugh." "The last time we saw each other was at another funeral." "We didn't talk, I left without saying goodbye to you." "You helped me with my coat, remember?" "I've been in Milan all these years, where did you think I was?" "Sometimes they talked about you." "You were small and I was growing up." "I don't think I'll grow any more!" "I don't like grown-ups, adults they're never attractive." "I don't even like myself." "Not even a bit." "Neither do you!" "You don't listen, but you could at least look at me!" "Can you ride a bike?" "Of course, I used to race!" " Did you ever run away from home?" " No need to." "It's enough to stay home when the others go out." "And if the others stay home then one has to run away!" "I was famous for such things." "But they no longer impress, everyone is used to them." "I'm sorry..." ""Agostino was blond." "His hair was like the feathers of a canary."" "Is that what you said?" "I'd like someone to talk about me like you talk about him." "But it will never happen." "So I do it myself." "Sorry." "These condolences take so long." "What do they say?" "The same old stock phrases!" "Why don't you like yourself?" " Why don't you like adults?" " Who told you that?" "I like them a lot." "Tall, blond..." "It's not true that I can ride a bike." "I fall off!" "Why are you so quiet?" "Talk!" "Don't look at me like that." "It's useless, what can I do?" "I wanted to make you laugh!" "Stop thinking about it." "Don't you understand?" "If I tell you it is because I know!" "Even at the funeral... of my fath..." "Of your grandfather." "I had often dreamed of his death." "In the dream I died, too." "But I imagined it in a different way." "Because reality is much worse." "One thinks about it prepares for it." "One prepares and then can't deal with it!" "One can't take that kind of pain." "You'd have understood." "I didn't even dress in black." "I didn't think it mattered." "I was so close to him." "It's amazing how alive you feel close to death," "how you cannot share death with the dead." "Enter with them into their coffin." "You feel more alive than ever!" "You need to move." "To talk." "To move your arms, hands..." "And I wanted to console you." "It's always wrong to go back." "Things are never the same." "Neither the people, nor the places..." "What long afternoons." "How long the afternoons are in Parma!" "Tonight I go back to Milan." "All I have left now is Cesare." "At least he's here." "I feel like a pigeon in Piazza Grande." "The ones that peck under Garibaldi's statue." "Cesare is my Garibaldi!" "Even he has a pedestal." "I'll be all alone if you leave." "But you won't!" "Aunts should be respected and left free." "It's so hard to be understood!" "You must stay for me, and for yourself." "Alright." "I'll stay to learn Italian." "Then I'll go." "Forever..." "But now you must pretend you need me." "It's a lie but I'll do it." "Aren't you coming?" "You go, I'll stay in the sun." "I told Cesare you'd come." "No!" "Don't make me wait an hour." "I'll just say hello." "I saw you!" " It's no use hiding." " I'm locked inside." "Come down, or I'll tell your parents." "How can you?" "Everyone's gone." "There's nobody here." "I know you're there." "Come out!" "Why don't you answer?" "Where did your boyfriend go?" "Why don't you comb your hair?" "You look like a little witch." "You have such nice hair!" "This is lovers' lane." "I know a nice place." "There are a lot of trees." "Shall I show you?" "Lucia weaves the linen, turns the paper and sees Harlequin!" "Harlequin jumps and dances..." "Will you teach me that?" "How does it go?" "It's Lucia who weaves the linen..." "Turns the paper and sees Harlequin..." "What's your name?" "Stop it!" "Stop it!" "Enough." "Gina, please!" "Talk to me!" "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "This never happened before." "I don't feel well." "I'm sorry." "First of all forgive me." "And please don't ask questions." "I'm too sensitive, I'd feel as if I were in prison." "I don't know if you're just curious or if it's something else, something more." "I noticed that you noticed." "Your face suddenly clouds over then suddenly brightens up." "There is only one cure for my pain." "The others." "People..." "You." "The "medicine of boredom" brought me all the way here." "From far away Milan." "Running parallel with the villas rushing by." "Clouds chase other clouds." "You chase me chasing you." "My little nephew from Parma..." "Without saying anything I've told you everything." "Don't ask questions." "My necklace!" "What's the matter?" "Will it bring bad luck?" "Tomorrow I'll buy you a new one." "You even wanted to watch me dress." "While I put on my stockings." "And my panties." "How extraordinary!" "Did I disappoint you?" "Tell the truth!" "Don't be funny." "One can even love those things which women usually hide." "Your mother is taller, she's different." "Forget it." "She's made like me." "Jesus, it's raining hard!" "It's your fault too, you're a man now." "We're equal." "A rainy Easter... how boring!" "When it rains at this hour I start tossing in bed." "Why did you put your hand over my mouth?" "Did my moans upset you?" "I didn't want them to hear us." "Who could hear us?" "There." "If we're quiet we can hear the women get up." " What women?" " The maids and grandmother!" "Are you crazy?" " Where are we?" " In the back of the building." "It used to be a print shop, now it's empty." "I used to play here, alone." "I'm glad it happened here." "Are you sorry?" " No!" " Do you want to go home?" "No!" "Look!" "Come and see." "That name used to make me laugh." "It made me think of Laurel and Hardy." "I imagined he was a fat man." "Mr. Bodoni..." "On Easter morning, the unleashed bells flew through the city." "They were sound asleep." "They continued to sleep:" "A real scandal because in the house everyone was ready for Mass." ""Salan in prison confessed:" "'Everything crumbled around us'!" "General Salan in handcuffs was taken to prison." "Suddenly..."" "Where's my wife?" "Where's your mother?" "She must be resting." "The ravioli came out better than at Christmas." "It must have been the filling." "One always eats too much in Parma." "First you eat and then you talk about what you ate." "A double effort, like eating twice." "Today, Easter Sunday many people in Parma won't even leave the table between lunch and dinner!" ""An eating marathon"." "The farmers will be happy, it's raining again." "They never get enough, right Mama?" "She's out like a light!" "I'm going to bed." "Wake me at four." "Now we can dance." " But I can't!" " Come on, let's dance!" "How should I dance?" "Like a dancing bear?" "It's a "camera obscura", a trick with mirrors." "It's magic, but it's real." "Still, it's magic!" "I know you're happy, but it won't last." "Fabrizio, I feel it won't last." "It's useless..." "In the end you'll remember me as if I were dead." "Then after a while you'll forget me completely." "You'll end up hating me." "Can I be blamed?" "I never promised you anything and you can't blame me!" "I love you." "I love you even though I'll never tell you." "You are a thousand ten thousand times..." "better than me!" "And I'm nothing." "I'm worthless." "I'd steal this trick which lets me talk to you when you're not here." "Where are you?" "Did you like the film?" "Nice, wasn't it?" "For "cinema-verite" it wasn't bad." "In color..." "Here on Sundays they came to see the film about girls going to Mass." "Then there was the fair the acrobats, the dancing bears." "I wouldn't trade this moment for any other." "Even if it's passing, I don't care." "I'll forgive it." "I'm not like you." "I'm not brave, I'm a coward." "You'll never guess what I'd like." "I'd like it if nothing were to move." "Everything still as in a painting." "With us inside, still as well." "Look." "No more May June, July August, September..." "September!" "Who knows where we'll be in autumn." " I'm not coming!" " You are coming!" "You must follow me everywhere." "What a surprise, I didn't expect you today." " Gina, this is Cesare." " This is your aunt from Milan?" "Yes, I'm the aunt from Milan." "The smoke, huh?" "Yes... the smoke!" "Franklin stoves are all like that." " Are we just going to stand here?" " Excuse me!" "Come in the dining room." "No!" "Better not, it's in a terrible mess." "Have a seat." "I know the girl who lives opposite." "In the tower?" "I know her, too, Evelina." "They rent it, they're poor." "She's a friend of mine." " What's there to drink?" " I have some sweet white wine." "Or some "Strega" or "Kummel"." "No, it goes straight to my head." " Have some wine." " It's like water, real light." "You'll like it." "You know, when I'm here" "I feel like I'm in my den." "Really?" "You're the first person I've brought here, it's a privilege." " It doesn't work." " 'You sure?" "It's broken." "Watch." "You're stupid!" "Radio destroyer!" "It's not yours!" "What are you doing?" "Certain people do things out of passion." "His vocation is teaching." "But he has understood that only children can be taught." ""Our teacher has explained to us that the word 'freedom' means justice and democracy." "On April 25th of last year Fascism ended and it's..."" ""The only duty we have towards history is to rewrite it." "When we have fully understood the scientific laws which govern life we will find that the only person with more illusions than the dreamer is the man of action." "But men are slaves of words." "They rage against materialism, forgetting that there has been no material improvement which has not spiritualized the world." "And few have been the spiritual awakenings which have not dissipated the world's faculties with sterile hopes."" ""He also explained to us that we have democracy because partisans died and it will be difficult because democracy is like the fields which need to be tended to every day." "Our teacher is from the city but he makes us write about the country."" ""Essays" and "problems", both misspelt." "He was a nice kid, from Fidenza." "Intelligent, the one who understood the most." "You know, I'm naive." "For 17 years I have insisted on that essay on April 25th." "Italians have never been able to understand these things." "Rather, they can understand but they quickly forget." "Too quickly." "You were very young in '45." "Were you already teaching?" "It was my first year." "What a year '45!" "There was so much confusion in my head!" "You're only good at putting order in other people's minds." "Order..." "I wouldn't know what to do with your order." " You take the world as it comes." " Life is not order." "It'd be terrible if it was..." "We must not..." "we cannot accept it." " We want to change it." " What can you change?" "You can't change a person." "Not even one." "That goes for me too, because I'll never change." "You're out of step with history, because history is going in that direction." "History is time, isn't it?" "Nun, bride, widow, old maid nun!" " I know time doesn't exist." " That's beautiful." "But it's nothing new." "You've read Proust and..." "I know a story older than Proust." "Once upon a time there was an old wiseman like you who had a young disciple..." "like him." "They wandered through the countryside." "One day the old wiseman said to the young man:" ""I am very thirsty, would you fetch me a glass of water?"" "The young man said: "Yes, I will."" "He went down the road and came to a fountain." "Beyond the fountain he saw a town a wonderful town which fascinated him." "In this town he met a girl, mysterious, extraordinary like you!" "He married her, had many children and lived with her for 20 years." "Cheat, you already knew it!" "After 20 years a terrible plague broke out, everyone died and only he survived." "By that time he had grown old." "Desperate, he began wandering through the country, he walked a lot and arrived where he had left the old wiseman." "And who did he see?" "The old wiseman who was still sitting there and he said to him:" ""It really took you long to fetch a glass of water!" "I've been waiting all afternoon!"" "Time does not exist." "'Understand?" "For the disciple a whole lifetime had passed." "While the old man was still waiting for his water." "Wisdom has never prevented people from starving." "You're talking like a book again!" "I thought you two always agreed." "Of course!" "We argue because we agree." "I'd get bored." "Well, I've understood that the only ones you can argue with are those who share your ideas." "I'm a chameleon, other people's ideas make me change color." "What does that mean?" "Maybe you are so sure of yourself that you can take everything in without losing anything." "You're right, I speak like a book." "I have to speak like a book to be convincing." "But don't forget that they're books you give me!" "And I believe them." "Do you remember Pavese?" "Maturity is everything." "A few days ago someone came looking for me." "My neighbours told me." "About 10:30 in the morning, I was at school." "A boy with a bicycle, he didn't say his name..." " They said he was blond..." " A green bike?" "I don't know, I could ask the neighbours." "It was Agostino." "Agostino came to see me?" "I had promised to bring him to you, he was ready, anxious." "He always wanted me to tell him about you and our discussions." "He was ready." "He thought he hated everyone, instead he only hated himself." "It's as if he had killed himself." "It was an accident, you have no right to talk like that." "He lived alone." "He died alone." "The worst thing you can tell someone is you don't believe their pain." "Hello?" "Is that you?" "Yes, it's me, Gina!" "No, I swear I'm not in Milan." "I'm calling from Parma." "I received your letter." "The weather is nice, we're fine." "Stop the small talk!" "Look out the window." "It's already light." "It's almost 4 in the morning." "I'm in a room that's not mine." "Waiting for morning to come!" "No, I'm not well." "You know I can't stand being in small rooms." "This room I don't know it!" "It's so empty." "It scares me!" "Nothing but four white walls." "In my house near the bed, remember?" "There's a lamp on all night." "There's no lamp here." "Just an enormous chandelier!" "It's your fault, you made me leave." "You're the one who sent me here!" "It's not true that I can't live alone." "You had me under care, we had to continue!" "I could come to you every day." "But maybe you didn't want to see me anymore." "Nobody knows me here!" "I was in bed by midnight but instead of sleeping" "I started hearing all the clocks in the city." "One, two, three o'clock..." "because I'm always here, awake!" "There are also some kids who talk under my window." "They never go to sleep." "Yes, but who can hear me, this room is at the other end of the house." "I'm sorry, I must have also woken your wife." "It's almost dawn." "I don't think I'll ever be able to sleep in this house." "Listen!" "Can you hear it?" "A cart going by." "Of course, I'm looking in the mirror." "A dishevelled monster." "I don't want to comb my hair." "I already told you." "If you could only see my face!" "A bath?" "Now?" "I don't feel like one." "You're saying that to get rid of me!" "Alright." "Don't get angry." "Please... do you think I can come back to Milan?" "I'm opening the door." "Don't hang up!" "You'll let me come back?" "Can I come back?" "It was about time, dammit!" "Where have you been?" " I've searched half of Parma." " This is... what's your name, Carlo?" "Luigi..." "I went to Otello, to Alpi, under the arcades everywhere." "WOMAN IS WOMAN" "He was able to invent a woman like that." "In 20 years Anna Karina will be what Louise Brooks is for us today." "She will represent an entire era, right?" "That's the miracle of cinema for me." "Nothing gives you a better feeling of 1946, than the Bogart-Bacall duo in Hawk's "The Big Sleep"." "I'm boring you, right?" "No, sorry..." "I was thinking." "In the cinema your mind was also somewhere else." "I don't even remember what film I saw." "I just went in, I'd been wandering around for an hour." "I arrived at 6." "It's 10 now..." "I saw it twice." " I can't stand some films." " "Vertigo" 8 times." ""Journey to Italy" 15, and you live without Hitchcock and Rossellini?" "You're an addict!" "Are you putting me on trial?" "You say that Resnais and Godard make entertaining films." ""Une Femme est une Femme"" "is more "engage"' than the films of Lizzani and even Rosi." "You're crazy!" "Explain yourself." "Or are you having me on?" "Cinema is a question of style and style is a moral issue." "You're not listening, what's up?" "I'm in love." "Then it's a question of content." "And no longer of style." "It's never happened to me before," "I didn't know what being involved meant." "Tell me." "I'm out of whack." "Did you think love was a superstructure?" "A woman's a woman." "Things happen in life which we don't understand at first, but which are important and change us." "A tracking shot is style, but style is a moral question." "I remember a tracking shot by Nicholas Ray of 360 degrees, which is one of the highest moral moments, and thus "engage"', in the film history." " A 360-degree tracking shot..." " You're a reactionary." "...360-degree of morality." " Maybe I should laugh, but I can't." "I'm just a bore who rattles off lists of films, and tonight you need to be alone." "Maybe you're right." "I'm off." "Take my scarf." " It's cold out." " It doesn't matter." "I live close by!" "I want you to take it." "Remember!" "One can't live without Rossellini!" "What are you doing here?" "Who are you waiting for?" " Why are you still awake?" " Who are you?" "Hercules or Tarzan?" "I wanted to come to your room." "To slap you around, punch you up!" "I don't really care anyway." "Me or someone else, it's the same for you." "You can do what you want, you're free." "You're free!" "I want you to know that." "It's over." "It's over." "No, I need to talk to you." "Come to my room." "Why didn't you hit me this afternoon?" "The look you gave that poor guy..." "Who knows what he thought..." "He wanted my phone number." "I promised to go and see a game with him on Sunday." "In Bologna." "Then I lost interest in giving him my name and number." "So he felt cheated." "He got mad." "The things he said to me!" "He said all those terrible things just for a Sunday." "He almost hit me because I wouldn't give him my number." "What do you think?" "He was a respectable person." "A nice man, he said some beautiful things to me." "You don't believe me?" "Don't you believe it?" "It's the truth." "You think I'm a liar!" "Why did I go with him?" "I needed to talk with someone, because it's only right." "I'm not even sure what I'm saying anymore." "I'm such an asshole!" "I talk about things that don't exist." "The truth is that he treated me like men treat whores." "He was a moralist." "If he wanted to punish me he was right." "Because I deserve it every day." "If there's a fire, I think it's my fault." "If a war breaks out, I think it's because of me." "If there's a storm, forget it." "If I run into the police I tell them I'm innocent right off." "He wasn't extraordinary." "One never meets extraordinary men." "Besides, I hate men." "I hate them!" "With their women, their children, their families..." "I like you because you're not a man yet." ""I write you to tell you that I've loved her for some time now!" "If she likes me, say so." "I can just see it..." "To think that I'm here on holiday, and if a storm breaks and falls down on her and hurts her, just the thought makes me go cold and I remain affectionately yours, Massinelli."" "As a boy I used to charm the frogs." "Maybe that's even an insult." ""Go and charm the frogs!"" "Friendly mosquitos..." "Maybe they recognize me." "These mosquitos are strange!" "They don't bother me." "My dear!" "My dear friend." "My Puck!" "As a child I didn't love you so much and yet you spoiled me." "Now it's me who loves you." "And you..." "I don't know." "I don't know anymore." "Little liar, you know I've always loved you!" "Let's put it to the test." "Look into my eyes." "When something was up you were always the first to understand." "I have a secret." "A big secret." "If you try to guess it we won't be friends anymore." "Instead look at my secrets." "The river bank, the pond and Padova, the painter the only one I can still talk to." "Down there the River Po, trying to hide, but you can always feel its presence." "So many people in a single day." "I'm not used to it anymore." "I forgot to tell you, I'm being tailed." "Fabrizio, my nephew." " Why did you come here?" " Let go of me." "Have you changed tastes?" "You're fast!" "I'm coming!" "These frogs..." "even some giant ones!" "There are small frogs, but the ones I like the most are the big ones!" "It's so good to see you again, so much time has passed." "You haven't changed, you only look me up when you're in love." " And in the wrong way..." " You're the same, too." "You knew it as soon as you saw me." "And it's all so wrong, all I can do is run away." "I didn't know you had a grown-up nephew." "He's from Parma, right?" "You can tell right away..." "by the shoes." "You could always get English shoes in Parma." "Even during the war, we'd cross the Po to buy them." "At the time we thought it was important to be anglophile." "What's his name?" "This is good land, right?" "It's good, but it's all mortgaged." "By May 5th I have to find the money for the bank." "It's the deadline." "How is that possible?" "Even the Lombardo Pond?" "By this time next year who knows who will own the pond." "Ever since my father died, five years ago, everything's gone to the dogs." "Had he foreseen such a disaster" "I'm sure he wouldn't have died." "Can you imagine me without my free meal?" "What can I do?" "Go to work?" "I don't even know the meaning of the word." "My folks said I didn't need a degree, because I had land and land never betrays you." "So now I'm ignorant as a peasant!" "I'd be ashamed to go steal a salary." "Any job I did would be like stealing." " Sponging a meal." " How have you eaten up to now?" "False sincerity makes me laugh." "Let it go." "It's easy to set your conscience straight when you're broke." "Why didn't you do it when you had your free meal, as you called it?" "You're so rude!" "No!" "You're right." "We can talk openly, now you've staked your ground with me." "It's my fault, I've bored you with an unimportant case." "It's not an unimportant case." "There are too many cases like yours in Italy." "This is what you don't understand." "You don't understand what habit is, the habit of one's own predicament." "That's why I'm not ashamed." "Habit justifies everything." "Fascism, Franco, racism..." "You can get used to anything." "But you say:" ""That is why I'm not ashamed."" "You're stupid, conceited." "You talk, talk..." "You think you know everything, but you don't know anything or anybody." "Shut up, you can't talk." "No more river!" "Enough of the river!" "One must forget it." "They tell us to bid it farewell." "They order us to say goodbye to it." "They'll come here with their machines." "They'll come with their dredgers." "There will be different men." "And the sound of the engines!" "The poplars... the vines..." "Who will make sure the poplars will grow without freezing?" "The weeds." " Nothing will remain." " The fish traps..." " There will be no more summer." " The canals..." " There will be no more winter." " The toads..." "It's over for you, too!" "Get out of the way, retreat!" "Sink your boat!" "I'm speaking for you, too." "We won't fish perch anymore." "We won't even fish carp." "And the ducks won't fly overhead." "They won't be caught in the sights of my rifle." "No more coots!" "No more flocks of wild geese!" "You see, my friends?" "This is where life ends and survival begins." "And so goodbye Lombardo pond." "Bye." "Goodbye, rifle." "Goodbye, river." "And goodbye..." "Puck." "What a pretty light." "We are all in it." "At that moment I realized that Puck had spoken for me, too." "I saw myself in him years from now." "I had the feeling that even for us, children of the bourgeoisie, there was no escape." " Thanks for coming." " Shall we call a taxi?" "Let's walk if you don't mind." "Have a good trip." "Why?" "I'll come with you." "At the end of the summer, every year at Ducale Park..." "COMMUNIST FESTIVAL" "I feel it's all wrong, even this way of having fun." "You've been going on all afternoon, what is it?" "I shouldn't have to tell you." "I thought we spoke the same language, that we wanted the same things." "To have fun people want to see the singers up close." "That's why it's all wrong." "To think I spent half the summer at Party meetings." "Everything's going to hell here." "'Hear about Marilyn?" "Poor thing..." " Who knows why she did it." " What did she do?" " Didn't you see the papers?" " She killed herself with pills." "I don't believe it, it must be a publicity stunt." "There was a picture!" "She was gorgeous." " I still don't believe it." " It was even on the radio." "The People take what you give them." "It scares me." " So long as we're the ones giving..." " The people accept things blindly." "And if we're wrong?" "We could have been wrong all along." "In fact, you were wrong." "I don't mean human errors in 20 years the People have not forged a common conscience." "We have proof that a People's conscience exists." "Very strong evidence!" "I know what you mean, but the events of July '60 are not enough for me." "One-day revolutions won't do." "Don't the struggles count, the strikes, union disputes?" "Strikes aren't enough for me, nor union activism, nor "May Days" with their red flags." "Maybe in 1948." "Who is willing to strike today for the liberation of Angola?" "Name one person who has fought in Algeria." "Who takes to the streets now if they kill a black man in Alabama?" "Even taking to the streets isn't enough for me anymore." "I wanted a new man." "A world of siblings who are fathers to their fathers." "You know." "The proletariat has ideals, don't forget that." "The proletariat has only one irrational ideal." "It's not their fault, you allowed them to dream of bourgeois dignity and now they want to mix in with the bourgeois, dress like the bourgeois." "They want to understand bourgeois entertainment, bourgeois books." "Workers want to improve their economic condition." "Which seems right to me." "Enore?" "Where did you put the posters?" "Back there." "Next to Castro." "What did the Party do for Agostino?" "And what did you do for him?" "You were sleeping and his death woke you up." "Why expect the Party to do what you couldn't do?" "Just because I couldn't do it." "You're on the outside and believe you are more involved than most." "I know your sort..." "Your problem is something else." "If you had more courage you would talk about Gina." "You once lent me a book." "A phrase was underlined:" ""Men make their history in an environment which conditions them."" "You explained it to me as:" ""Men act... in an environment which already exists."" "Men make their history, not the environment in which they live." "I am the negation of this theory." "We must open our eyes." "You wanted to change me and I hoped you would." "Instead, I am a rock, I will never change." "I wanted to fill Gina with vitality." "Instead I filled her with anguish." "She once told me slightly ashamed she had "nervous fever"." "I have a different fever." "A fever which makes me feel nostalgic for the present." "While I live I already feel the moments I'm living are far away." "Thus I do not want to change the present." "I take it as it comes, but my bourgeois future lies in my bourgeois past." "For me ideology has been a holiday." "A vacation." "I thought I was living the years of the revolution and instead I was living the years before the revolution." "Because it is always before the revolution, when you're like me." "Communists refuse to hide their opinions and their intentions." "They openly declare that their aims can only be achieved" "through the violent overthrow..." "Only through the violent overthrow of all existing social order." "The ruling classes tremble at the thought of a Communist revolution." "The proletariat has only its chains to lose." "It has a world to gain." "Workers of the world, unite!" "December 26, 1962 MACBETH opening of the opera season" "Regio Theatre" "Are you coming to the wedding?" "Why shouldn't I?" "What do you think of them getting married so soon?" "They seem so young." " What does Fabrizio think?" " He accepts everything lately." "He's changed so much." "At least let him get his degree." "He'll graduate, you'll see." "Where is she?" "The sixth box second row." "It's their family box." "One... two..." "She's beautiful." "Look." "You can't see Fabrizio." "He's hiding." "He's hiding behind her." "I'm so happy." "I was waiting for you." "I was looking for you." "She looks like an ancient portrait." "Perfect for you." "Everyone will envy you." "I know you don't like her." "She won't be like you she won't understand a lot of things... but she's good." "So simple." "Not much, but just what I want at the moment." "It's about to end." "We'd better get back." "This Macbeth is lovely." "I already saw it last year at the Scala, but here it's different." "It must be this theatre... maybe here the people really believe it." "A few years ago the idea of going to the opera made me laugh." "How boring Verdi is!" "Our beloved Verdi!" "I can't take him anymore!" "After all, he's everything we are not." "I hate him!" "I prefer Mozart." "Well... you arrived." "Goodbye then." "It was better this way." "For you and for me." "There was nothing to do." "You know how I am." "You understood me better than anyone." "That's why you left, wasn't it?" "It was right." "You decided for me, too." "I know how much I made you suffer." "Don't think I don't know." "How cold it is in here." "Could you fall in love with me now?" ""Capitan Achab, I heard tell of Moby Dick." "Wasn't it Moby Dick who took off your leg?"" ""Who told you that?" Achab cried." ""Yes, Starbuck and I will hunt it down beyond the Cape of Good Hope, beyond Cape Horn, beyond the great Maelstrom of Norway, beyond the fires of Hell, before giving up." "And for this you have signed on, sailors!" "To hunt the White Whale the world over, in every part of the Earth, until it spits black blood" "and rolls over with its fins in the air.""