"Lieutenant, fire department says you can't smoke here." "Tell the smoking house behind me." "Are you gonna catch the bad man who burnt down my house?" "What?" "No, I'm not, kid." "I'm a cop." "Talk to a fireman." "Get out of here." "Your cigar stinks!" "Yeah, well, your house stinks." "Did you find a murdered body in the ashes?" "No, the family got out safely, thank God." "We're here because it's arson." "The fire department has their own arson investigators." "Yes, and the arson-investigation unit called us for help." "This is the work of a serial firebug." "They want fresh eyes on the case." "That's not what they want." "Firemen hate cops, and we hate them." "This arson investigator is lying through his teeth." "Her teeth." "And not lying, but otherwise, you nailed it." "Lieutenant, this is Arson Investigator Samantha Orland." "The fires the arsonist is setting are getting bigger, more frequent." "New wrinkle... this fire was set with people in the house... kids." "That makes it attempted murder." "Time to ask for help." "I've arranged to have the case file sent over." "Let me know if you have any questions." "I don't trust her." "Why, because she puts public welfare before her own ego?" "I wasn't asking you, Gravely." "I was seeking the opinion of a full-grown cop." "I feel like she's on the up-and-up." "No, Moto, I'm talking about Almond." "God." "She wants us on the case because she doesn't think we can catch the arsonist either." "Spread the blame... makes her look good." "That's dark." "The truth is always dark, Moto." "That's how you know it's the truth." "Neverett!" "Neverett!" "Lieutenant, firefighter's calling you." "Neverett!" "What brings you slummin' around a fire?" "Take these back to the truck, probie." "Probie." "Nick D'Agostino." "My brother Sam." " How you doing?" " Moto." " You work for Neverett?" " Well, I call him lieutenant." "Well, we call him Neverett 'cause he's so negative." "Known him since we were kids." " Yeah?" "Cooch county boys!" " That's right." "Okay." "I'm gonna take a look inside the house." "Make sure they don't follow me." "Why would we?" "Fire's out." "Our work here is done." "Come around and visit us down at the firehouse, Neverett." "Yeah, we'll put you in the calendar." "Tell me I'm not seeing what I'm seeing." "Tell me you were not drinking liquor stolen from an active crime scene." "We're gonna catch these arsonists." "Okay, great." "But I literally need you to tell me" "I'm not seeing what I'm seeing so that when I am deposed by the defense" "I can tell them exactly what you say to me right now." "This is water that I brought because fires make me thirsty." "Arsonists?" "Like, more than one." "There are two." "Ugh." "Ah, good morning, lieutenant." "Talk." "The arson unit refers to the arsonist as "the green flame."" "17 fires in the last 18 months, 7 in the last 9 weeks." "Now, today's fire is the first time the arsonist targeted humans." " He's upping his ante to murder." " "Green flame"?" "What's that about?" "Striation and oval residue marks indicate the use of naphthenate and boric acids as accelerants." "They both burn with a distinctive, vivid green hue." "The fires are ignited by jury-rigged, time-delayed devices." "You plug them into the outlet." "They're basically just fuses that are rigged to fail after a few hours." "Lieutenant, I can't help but notice that you're actually listening to me, which I find both heartening and disturbing." "Don't get used to it." "We've got uniforms canvassing the neighbors of the previous two fires... ooh!" "Didn't the arson unit do that?" "We're cops." "We're better." "Boom." "I found that where you caught me drinking water." "Okay." "Why would a cabinet contain one broken ceramic bird?" "It's a lovebird." "There should be two." " Yeah." " Lovebirds come in pairs." "Do you think one lovebird killed its mate, started the fire to cover its tracks," " and then escaped?" " Avian domestic abuse." "Okay." "Okay." "Firefighters are setting fires and then stealing from the houses." "Whoa, did you pull a groin muscle leaping to that conclusion, lieutenant?" "Two ringleaders, Nick and Sam D'Agostino, never took off their heavy jackets." "Why do you think that is?" "Because they were filled with loot." "Uh, okay, forgive me, sir." "Inductive-reasoning flaw..." "just because a firefighter is a thief doesn't make him an arsonist." "D'Agostino stole something from me when I was 12 years old." "They are typical firefighters..." "glory hogs and thieves." "Niedermayer's point still stands." "Glory hogs and arsonists are different things." "People!" "Get out of my way on this, okay?" "We find the thieves, we find the arsonists." "You inductive flaws can follow your arson leads," "I'll follow the thief leads, and I guarantee you that when we meet, the D'Agostino brothers will be standing between us." "Whoa." "S01E02 Bella" "It is not protocol splitting an investigation in two." "It's a matter of perception." "How?" "We're chasing an arsonist, and Backstrom is chasing thieves... if they are even thieves." "We don't even know if they're thieves." "You know what I think?" "I think that those handsome firemen were mean to poor, pudgy, little Backstrom when they were kids." "Classic bullying scenario?" "Can you call it that if the person deserved it?" "Don't answer that." "I'm an awful person." "Tell me about this person we're going to question." "She's a fire sculptor." " That's a thing?" " Yes." "Perhaps the most ephemeral form of sculpture." "Okay, and you found her how?" "The fire department has used her several times as an expert." "And, like our arsonist, she specializes in green flames." "Is she a suspect?" "Mm, when I spoke to her on the phone, she was definitely..." "She really likes fire." "You want to "good cop, bad cop" her?" "I'll lead by being very interested in green flames." "And you?" "I'll ask her where she was when the fire was set." "I also think that we'll get a sense from her as to what kind of person gets off on fire and what our next step might be to catch that person." "Okay." "When you say "gets off"..." "Sexually..." "that's what motivates most arsonists." "Oh, God." "Hope I'm not building up the weirdness factor too much." " You're a fence." " I deal in collectibles." "I steal something valuable..." "how long before it hits the black market?" "That depends." "High-end electronics, you file off the serial numbers and sell them immediately." "Fine china, you want to wait about six months." "Custom jewelry, at least a year, and you probably want to head for another country." "Serious art, you need a private collector." "Why?" "What do you got?" "Insurance reports... stuff supposedly destroyed in the fire." "I think firemen stole them." "All right." "I mean, I can ask around, see if any of this has hit the streets." "Thanks." "You hit the fences, I'll hit the thieves." "Well, I got 100 bucks says I'll get the goods before you." "Done." "So, these D'Agostino brothers... what are they, like, childhood enemies?" "They lived across the street." "They tortured me every day." "Mm, torture... like, literally, with a blowtorch and pliers, or metaphorically, where they called you names and belittled your accomplishments?" "Torture is torture, Valentine." "Put some pants on." "That's disgusting." "As an art form, fire is evanescent and fleeting." " Like an orgasm." " We're looking for an arsonist." " I am an arsonist." " Oh, well, that was easy." "I got it." "Ms. Norburg, we have a couple of questions we'd like to ask you." "Where were you yesterday morning at 5:30?" "In my bed." "Sex and fires have much in common." "Passions are ignited." "Our loins burn like fire." "We are consumed by love." "And when it's over, we taste ashes." "And both can be stopped by a blast of cold water." "Stake out the fire." "Pyrophiliacs love flames, but we also like the aftermath." "Okay, thank you." "Huh." "Okay, you did not build up the weirdness factor." "She didn't even try to come up with an alibi." "I don't know if that makes her seem more guilty or not." "She also slipped me a note." ""Call me"?" "Are those letters burned into that paper?" "Yes." "You know, we could take her advice and stake out that burned house." " Not you." " Why?" "'Cause maybe she said that just so that you can cuff her..." "psycho nympho." "I'll take Moto." "That's probably best." "So, the fire artist said that arsonists sometimes comes back to smell the ashes." "Sometimes they take souvenirs." "Know what a good souvenir is?" "Something from Hawaii." "Police!" "Don't move!" "don't move!" "Open that fist!" "Open it!" "A trip to Hawaii, a hula girl for your dashboard... that's a souvenir." "What's the matter with you, boy?" "Who's this?" "Martin Phinney, 23, lives in his mom's basement, and is, as he puts it, a fire aficionado." "Yeah, his place is like a museum dedicated to burnt stuff." "Also, he was one of the fire artist's students." "He didn't do it." "Uh, all of the souvenirs indicate that they came from a green-flame fire." "The oval and striation residue marks indicate the use of naphthenate and boric acid as accelerants." "The toaster and the Buddha trace back to fires in Seattle two years ago." "Indicating that the green flame started fires in Seattle before he moved to Portland." "Martin Phinney moved here two years ago..." " maybe from Seattle." " Great." "Call the arson investigator, and let's get those Seattle files." "I'll do that." "Are you looking for truffles in this cabinet?" "Because you won't find any." "I need a search warrant." "Search warrants are my job." "I need an old search warrant that no one will miss." "Why are you brandishing white-out and looking for an old warrant?" "This is one of those things you don't want to see." "Okay." "Ooh, I'll do your forgery." "You have manly sausage fingers." "Oh, I know, I know, you want to smell my hair, but you must not." "This work is delicate." "Where do you want to be searching with this warrant?" "Portland firehouse No.41." "Okay." "One more time." "Judge issued a warrant for you to search firehouse 41?" "Yep." "Based on the fact that you got bullied as a kid?" "No." "Based on probable cause and general jerk-holery." "You know, boys are pretty rough-and-tumble growing up, especially sons of cops and firefighters." "You ever think that that's all that was going on between you and the D'Agostinos?" "Almond, ever wonder why this country's going to hell?" "It's for lack of the right kind of bullying." "But that's not what the D'Agostinos did." "I know the difference." "What did these boys do to you?" "Tripped me, beat me, squirrelled me, shaved me, burned me, tied me up, and took my most valuable possession." "Is that enough for you?" "What's "squirrelled"?" "Exactly what you think it is." "Look at that." "Ugh." "That's why cops hate firemen." "Makes me want to vomit." "Out of the way." "Official police business." "Unh-unh." "You said the D'Agostino brothers also stole something from you." "Yeah." "What?" "Bella." "What's that... gerbil, sled, bicycle?" " Dead bird?" " A dead canary." "Huh." "What are you doing?" "This your locker, rookie?" "You're under arrest for keeping secrets." "Is that a... is that a legal charge?" "As legal as the warrant that brought us here." "Probational Firefighter Lawrence Dabkey." "There was a fire chief in Seattle named Dabkey." "That's my dad." "Uh, my uncle and three cousins were all first responders at 9/11." "All my brothers and sisters are firefighters or EMTs." "You're the next in the dynasty." "Look, I don't know who put the canary in my locker or what it means." "Yeah?" "Why don't we call your dad, the Seattle fire chief, and ask him what a dead canary in a locker means?" "He'll tell us it's a threat... dead canaries don't sing." "I'm you, a probie, a new guy, carrying on the family name." "I get put with the D'Agostinos." "I find out they're pyro-pirates, I want out." "But they warn me to shut up." "I'm hoping it'll all just go away." "You know what, Larry?" "It won't." "You need to stand up and be a man, like everyone else in your family of heroes." "Detectives?" "No probable cause, a falsified warrant, zero evidence." "You guys have got to let Dabkey go before his union rep screams false arrest." "There wasn't zero evidence." "Kid had a strangled canary in his locker." "Canary homicide." " Canomicide?" " What?" "John, back me up!" "Look, someone's trying to shut the kid up." "That's more than a little suspicious." "I'm Danielle Black." "I'm a pfb union lawyer here to speak with my client, Lawrence Dabkey." "Yes, of course you are." "Mr. Dabkey will be pursuing a complaint of police misconduct with the civilian-oversight committee." "Any person violating Oregon Statute 167 or 167.340 may be held without a warrant, as in the incidence of a person breaking the peace." "167?" "What is that, animal cruelty?" "Seriously?" "We will release Mr. Dabkey to your recognizance pending his appearance before a judge." "You just got your asses handed to you by a girl." "They trespassed on private property." "I heard you invite the lieutenant..." ""come on down to the firehouse sometime."" "You offered to put him in your calendar." "We'll deal with this in front of a judge." "Don't call me a girl." "Oh, especially in front of another girl?" "The arson investigator got the Seattle files you wanted." "She'll deliver them personally." "Oh, arson, the crime we're supposed to be investigating instead of canary murder and lovebird theft." "All right." "I found something from your insurance list." "Cintre Hahnel watch... antiques dealer I know is trying to hawk it." "Pay up." "Where's my 100 bucks?" "I'll pay you after Moto arrests him and he leads me back to the D'Agostinos." "No, no, no, you can't arrest him." "He'll know I ratted him out." "What good is the information you give me if I can't act on it?" "All right." "What if I took Niedermayer in an under-covers capacity?" "You mean "undercover"?" "Is that what I mean?" "No, it's not." "Look, he might be straight, okay?" "He just enjoys poetry and philosophy." "Mm, lots of guys might be straight... until they meet me." "Okay, tell you what." "Double or nothing on the $100 that I owe you... you can't turn Niedermayer." "All right." "Deal." "But really, poetry and philosophy?" "He's mine." "The task is not to seek for love but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself you've built against it." " Oh, you like Rumi?" " Mm-hmm." "Apparently, uh, Mr. Rumi was open to the full range of sensual delights life offers." "Are you hitting on me?" "How am I doing?" "Eh." "You know, Rumi, that's original, but I took you more for a Walt Whitman kind of guy." " Eh." "Dorothy Parker?" " Mm." "I'm heterosexual, buddy." "Yeah, well, that's a treatable condition." "I got a question for you." "Does the word "Bella" mean anything to you?" "Yeah, spanish for "beautiful."" " That what you want me to call you?" " No." "Almond mentioned it in reference to something that belonged to Backstrom." "The D'Agostino brothers stole it." "Yeah, they picked on him a lot when he was a kid." "Well the lieutenant is lucky to have you." "You could be, too." "Mm?" "Here are the arson files from the green flame's Seattle fires." "Do you think it's the same arsonist?" "Three fires... garden shed, abandoned house, closed business." "He used the same accelerants..." "naphthenate and boric acid." "It could very well be that panty bandit you have in custody." "Green flames tell you all this?" "Yes." "But a different ignition system, so our arsonist uses the electrical outlets in the house to start the fire." "The Seattle arsonist uses a more primitive road-flare-and-milk-jug system." "Is it significant, the ignition system?" "Psychologically speaking, the way a fire starts is not meaningful." "Melinda Norburg, the fire artist, uses a jug-and-flare system." "Bonjour, Robbie." "This is Walt Whitman, but I call him "Bella."" "Gregory informs me you're in the market for a Cintre Hahnel." "I am, yes, Mr. hodstetter." "But I am wary of knock-offs." "Inform your Bella amici that I never deal in knock-offs." "You are, and he doesn't." "Mm, that's not a good start." "The box is obviously counterfeit." "Oh, good eye." "But I assure you." "Watch looks genuine." "Oh, my God!" "Don't just go popping the backs off of things!" "Original gears... and movement." "It's a valid serial number." "What's this happening now?" "Ah." "I'm seeing evidence of smoke damage." "It's an old watch." "It's lived an adventurous life." "Where did you get this from?" "You know what I say... the only life worth living is an adventurous one." " Am I right?" " Yeah." "That is not what I meant." "Ow." "Niedermayer!" "Are you a cop?" "Did you bring a cop into my house?" "No, of course not, Robbie." "You know, if I did that, my business would be finished in this town." "I'd have to move to another city and start over." "I'm a private investigator, and I've just recovered my client's stolen watch." "Thank you for your help." "Is it wrong that I feel a little turned on right now?" "Mm, you and me both, but he's not gay." "Fire Lez is not our arsonist." "Okay." "I realize it's not as strong a lead as a dead canary, but don't you want to go in there and do your whole... "I'm you." ""I'm a crunchy, tatty, sexy lady who gets all hot from fire."" "don't embarrass yourself, Gravely." "The hours of folly are measured by the clock, but of wisdom..." "No clock can measure." " Okay, what the hell is he talking about?" " I never know." "This is the watch stolen in yesterday's fire." "Okay, I'm assuming that because that is in an evidence bag that you got it legally." "No, it does not." "I had to steal it so as not to blow Valentine's cover as a paid police informant." "Speaking of blowing and of Valentine, did he happen to mention anything about me owing him 200 bucks?" "He did not." "This is evidence that the lieutenant's theory about firehouse No.41 is viable." "Inadmissible evidence of theft, not of arson." "Another green fire is happening..." "McMansion on Doylestown Road." "Am I gonna arrest someone?" "Not unless we see a law being broken." "Is that sarcasm?" "Neverett!" "Back with another warrant?" "Take off your jackets." "Open them up." "Empty them out." "Let's go!" "This is so insulting." "Ah!" "What the hell?" "This is for throwing me off the Baker River bridge when I was 12 years old." "You deserved it, and you know it!" "Uh-huh?" "Uh-huh?" " What?" " Yeah?" "And stapling my scrotum to my leg, I deserved that, too?" " That was 30 years ago." " Uh-huh?" "The three of us are grown men now." "Yeah, let it go!" "Hey, what the..." "Look, Neverett, I'm running out of patience." "Hey!" "Moto!" "Don't touch the lieutenant, please." "Okay." "Okay." "I'm cool." "Okay, all right, what... what is this, huh?" "Is that a...?" "Do you like that?" "Maybe get your lieutenant off my brother." "Lieutenant, want to let the man's throat go?" "Okay." "Hey, hey, hey, hey, stay back, okay?" "It's over." "It's all good here." "Are you okay, lieutenant?" "I just needed..." "He..." "What?" "What?" "Did he hurt you?" "You want to use your words?" "He... is in possession of stole property." "Check it." "Right in there." "What?" "In there." "Yeah." "I don't have any..." "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Ah." " Arrest him!" " No, no, hey, that is not mine." "Consider yourself mirandized for theft." "Okay. don't do it." "You don't want to do that." "You boys got pretty muscles, but I got the kind that cripple my opponents." "You want to be crippled?" " Let's go." " Chief, where are you..." "You're making a mistake." "I'll see you soon, Neverett!" "Oh, oh, oh." "Police misconduct, huh?" "False arrest!" "I want to see my union lawyer." "Stapling testicles?" "What's the matter with you?" "You never did nothing like that, huh?" "Dip a guy's head into a toilet?" "Ah." "So, you found a stolen watch in his pocket?" "Yeah, from when he attacked me." "Same watch that you showed me before you went out to make this arrest?" "Extremely similar watch." "But nothing else... am I right?" "That's all you found." "What does it matter, Gravely?" "Listen, it's leverage, okay?" "Watch me use this to force a confession." "You doing this because of what happened when we were kids?" "Huh?" "Because everything that we did was normal kid stuff." "You're supposed to laugh." "It wasn't funny." "Well, it wasn't funny when me and Nick bought those illegal fireworks and you ratted us out to your dad, the sheriff... which, for the record, is why you got tossed off the bridge." " You deserved it." " I'm you." "I was never a candy-ass." "I'm you... always in the shadow of my brother, Nick." "It was him who decided we should steal from fires, and I just went along, 'cause if anyone is the candy-ass here, it's me." "That's what I said." "No, you idiot, I'm..." "I'm being you." "God, it's... what?" "I'm you." "I'm in love with Amelia Meehan." "I collect seashells and wildflowers for her, and while I'm making her a mixtape, little do I know my brother's making her in the basement." "You shut the hell up!" "Remember that crawlspace?" "I used to hide in there to spy on you guys." "That's where I saw Amelia's boobs before you did... when your brother Nick was pawing at them." "No!" "Excuse me, lieutenant." "It's my understanding Sam D'Agostino is being held under suspicion of theft." "He was in possession of a stolen watch." "Lieutenant, I suggest you let Mr. D'Agostino off with a warning." "You!" "I was smitten!" "I collected wildflowers!" "I made mixtapes!" "You touched her boobs!" "She had no boobs!" "Gentlemen!" "I'm gonna need a moment with my client." "Get off of me!" "Gentlemen!" "What?" "Who is it?" "Lieutenant Backstrom?" "You?" "What are you doing here?" "Nick and Sam..." "Uh... they..." "Look, I don't like guys like that." "I became a firefighter because of my old man." "Yeah?" "So what?" "My dad's dead." "He died on the job." "Well, that's ironic, considering you're setting fires to loot homes." "I don't know anything about anybody setting any fires." "What I know about is guys taking advantage of fires to line their own pockets." "The canary sings." "You willing to testify?" "Yeah, I am." "'Cause I want my old man to be proud of me." "Nick and Sam say you're a coward..." "That you're a dirty cop." "Yeah, okay." "All right, so, what," " you want to know if you can trust me?" " No, sir." "I got no choice but to trust you, 'cause I'm placing my life in your hands." "EKG is normal." "This is not a cardiac event." "No, no, it's not cardiac." "Talk to my doctor, Deb." "What are you doing?" "You hear me?" "Call my doctor, Deb, okay?" "Come... what are you doing?" "What are you... no, no!" "One of the reasons you should be nice to the fire department..." "My heart is fine!" "You could end up in trouble someday... need some kind of help." "Clear!" "Lieutenant?" "I don't drink." "Come on, man." "Call me for help in the middle of the night, and then you lie?" "The EMT that did this..." " friend of the D'Agostino brothers?" " Everybody likes the D'Agostino brothers." "I've never had the same advantage." "I know." "I'm a 32-year veteran in this department." "Fact is, nobody likes me." "Except Niedermayer." "Ah." " To Niedermayer." " Niedermayer." "Maybe next time, call him in the middle of the night." "Nobody but you would believe what happened." "What am I doing wrong?" "Really?" "You asking me?" "That's what it means when a sentence goes up at the end." "You got to give Gravely her due." "What?" "Why?" "No, why?" "Well, she's the one that hauls your ass out of the sling every time you get creative with your police work." "She could learn a lot from me." "Yeah, mostly how not to build a case." "What is she, like 16?" "She's young... but awful smart." "And brave, too." "Idealistic." "I feel like buying girl scout cookies from her." "She's got a theory on the crime?" "Yeah, and I agree with her." "We all think you're half right." "Your childhood enemies are thieves." "And arsonists." "No, just thieves." "And Gravely wants to catch this firebug before it kills someone." "We all do." "I love girl scout cookies." "I could eat bags of them." "The mcmansion on doylestown road was the 20th fire attributed to the green flame... the first 3 in Washington, the next 17 here in Oregon." "Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement to make." "There's a... possibility that I was..." " not right." " What?" "Are you saying that you were wrong?" "Maybe the thieves and the pyromaniac are not the same person." "We need to find your arsonist before they kill somebody." "Um..." "Okay." "Niedermayer, why don't you get the lieutenant up to speed on... really?" "I investigated the evidence from the most recent fire, and I found a surprising development." "Though the mix of accelerants is the same, a burn pattern at the point of ignition indicates that the arsonist reverted to using the jug-and-flare system to light the fire." "Yeah, the jug-and-flare system used back in the Seattle fires." "The arsonist had graduated to this electronic" ""botched fuse" system once he came to Portland." "Well, he had, until now." "Which is why the development is so surprising." "Jugs and flares point to our fire artist, Norburg, but she was in custody when the last fire was set." "Where's a picture of this newfangleduse" system?" "Uh, no, I don't have one." "Have you seen it?" "Has anyone?" "Only in the arson-investigator reports." "Only in diagram." "There were some photos, but they were all indiscernible." "Because... the arson investigator was lying." "On the reports?" "Why go there?" "Because she lied to us about why she wanted us on the case in the first place." " She's a liar." " Yes, the lieutenant's right." "I mean, most of this investigation is based on Samantha Orland's report, so if she doctored this information..." "What else do you think she was lying about?" "The botched fuse... it's B.S." "All the fires were lit the same way, both cities... jug and flare." "Madness has a method." "It doesn't change." "Samantha Orland said that the ignition system doesn't have anything to do with the sexual compulsions of the arsonist." "Ooh, that is not true." "Ignition, psychologically, is the first step in sexual arousal." "Oh, my God." "That lying liar." "She was lying about everything!" " We have to find Samantha Orland." " Well, when you do... call me." "Where's Sam?" "Where's your bodyguard?" "Watching Larry Dabkey give a statement that you two are thieves." "Sam!" "It doesn't hurt anyone." "The families get reimbursed by the insurance companies, who'd have to pay anyway if the stuff gets burned." "That's a good defense." "You should totally use that in court." "Hey, what's up?" "Neverett's gonna put us in jail." "What?" "No, he's not gonna do that." "He just wants his cut." "You guys are over Amelia Meehan now, huh?" "We're family." "We don't chew on things from 30 years ago that don't matter anymore." "I can get you out of this, you know." "I don't always do things perfect." "Even the worst lawyer clues in on my missteps." "You'll walk away free." "Okay, all right, all right, all right." " How much you want?" " We'll give you a third." "I want Bella back." "How are we supposed to know where Bella is?" "Wait, wait, wait, wait!" "It's... it's... it's in the garden shed at the family place in Cooch County." "There." "Text!" "Text!" "Text!" "Excuse me." "I got an arsonist to go catch." " So long." " Wait!" "What about your..." "your misstep to keep us out of jail?" "!" "I don't want to keep you out of jail." "This is why you have no family, no friends." "You're gonna die alone, Neverett." "You morons." "We all die alone." "You won't, Neverett." "In fact, Sam and I might be right there when it happens." "And I can promise you this." "When that time comes, you're gonna be very lonely." "Mind stepping out of the vehicle, ma'am?" "Never mind." "We can just talk right here." "Did something happen?" " You identified the arsonist?" " We think so." " Okay." " What are you thinking about... all of them on fire?" "Moto, the camera." "You... you think it's me?" "You think that I'm wasting my career chasing myself?" "You started in Seattle, where the arson investigator discovered your jug-and-flare system." "Then you moved to Portland, where you were the arson investigator, so you could falsify your own repots, say the arsonist used an electric ignition." "This guy hates women." "You know that, right?" " Why do you help him?" " This guy?" "Oh, yeah, no, he is the worst." "But, uh, I don't actually think he hates women more than he hates men." "Thank you, Detective Gravely." "He hates everybody." "But he really hates people who try to get away with murder, and he hates you." "Oh, well, you're gonna need a little bit more than just hate." " See that, Gravely?" " Ah." "That really got her going." "I think she wants to burn a family and have sex with me." "I'm you." "I'm a girl with a secret... that burns like a flame." "I don't get turned on like other women." "To really enjoy sex, I need candles, because it's the flame that gets me going, not the person in my bed." "And when that stopped working..." "I needed to set bigger and better fires." "And when that stopped working..." "I needed to burn... people." "That's just a story." " That's not proof." " You're right." "All confessions are just stories, but we have actual evidence that you falsified reports." "She's got "before" photos from the last fire on here and the one before that." "And I'm guessing we find something interesting in her trunk." "Chop chop!" "Cooch County's a two-hour drive." " You already owe me for gas." " Whoa!" "You don't want to make the arrest?" "She's your collar, Gravely." "Make the girl scouts proud." "Samantha Orland, you are under arrest for arson." "You have the right to remain silent." "Everything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law." "Well, I come out here, and I am really glad my traumatic childhood took place in the city." "I got mosquito bites, you got herpes." "I win." "I don't have herpes... anymore." " It's right here." " There?" " See anything?" " Not yet." "Calm down." "God, this flashlight app sucks." "Hey, did you ever consider what kind of shape Bella's gonna be in after 30 years?" "I brought duct tape." "Look, I don't see anything, man." "Maybe they were lying." "Of course they lied." "They're probably laughing at me coming all this way for nothing." "Wait." "What's that?" "Now, you realize you're gonna have to risk your life and run, right?" "One, two, three!" "You really made that yourself?" "Yeah." " When you were 12?" " Yeah." " Hey, can I try?" " No." "Could you make me one?" "Yeah." "Stop talking."