"I know, I know, we're almost there." "All right, all right, okay, let's..." "Oh, cut that out!" "Will you stop that?" "Will you knock that off?" "Come on, a joke is a joke." "Will you cut it out?" "All right, smoke 'em if you got 'em." "All right, lighten up and listen to me now." "Hi." "I guess you're wondering how I got here." "Well, let me first introduce myself." "My name is John Bourgignon, of the Melonville Bourgignons." "And a good friend of mine Chick Leff and I ran a limousine service back in the States." "You see, I was about to get married to this girl Nancy Reese." "Well, see for yourself." "You're not gonna believe this story." "You're really not gonna believe it." "You might believe it, I don't know." "You might buy it, you might not." "Check it out." "I'm just gonna stop off at Sal's for a second." "No, I don't wanna go there." "He's gonna talk us into acting in another one of his kung fu movies again." "That was embarrassing." "What do you think he wants?" "Look, the only time he ever talks to me is when we're late on limo payments, and we're not late, so..." "How does he make any money on a look-alike service?" "He don't." "We're here to see Mr. Di Pasquale." "I think his mother is on the phone." "May I say who's calling?" "Tell him John and Chick are here." "I'll see if he's free." "Thank you." "Fuck you!" "Yeah, well, fuck you!" "He's on a conference call." "If you'd care to take a seat, he'll be with you momentarily." "Great." "Thanks a lot." "Thank you." "Hey, Chick, Johnny, come on." "I've been waiting for you." "Come on inside." "I didn't know you guys were here." "Chick, how you doing?" "Here comes the bride, here comes the bride" "I got an important meeting inside." "No phone calls, no interruptions." "I don't wanna be disturbed." "What if you get a phone call?" "No phone calls!" "I got an important meeting inside." "No interruptions, no nothing!" "Yes, Mr. Dispas..." "Pasquale!" "Di Pasquale, Di Pasquale!" "Make yourself at home." "Is this a real Oscar, Sal?" "You bet your fat ass it is, Johnny." "It's the real thing." "Best Foreign Film, 1958." "My Big Hill." "Somebody gave me that." "One of these days I'm gonna have my own." "I've been thinking about getting back into movies, you know?" "Yeah." "Sit down." "Thanks, Sal." "So, so, so, a lot's been happening since I seen you last." "Been reading about you in the paper and everything." "I mean, you're marrying Ed Reese's daughter, that's a very big thing." "I guess so, yeah." "So, how'd you swing that?" "Well, we met and we liked each other." "We fell in love and we're gonna get married." "That's very warm." "I mean, I like the sound." "The love thing is very important, because you know, my own marriage didn't work out too good, but I don't wanna get into that now." "Sal, show him the picture." "He don't wanna see the picture." "Come on, show him the picture." "He don't wanna see." "So I carry a picture of the ex on me." "You know, just for old times' sake." "I'd like to see it." "She was a sweet kid." "She was 18 when I married her." "Where'd you meet her, in high school?" "No." "I wish I went to high school." "Take a look at this." "Nice." "Took a good picture, huh?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Well..." "The whole thing turned to rat shit just after the honeymoon." "Well, look, Sal, why'd you call us here?" "You know, wouldn't it be interesting if you talked Ed Reese into letting me film the entire wedding?" "No, I'm sorry." "No, it just wouldn't work." "You don't think I'm good enough?" "I didn't say that." "Maybe you didn't see a little film I like to call Kung Fu U!" "What?" "Maybe you don't remember a little Salvatore Di Pasquale production, which just happened to gross $410,000 across this entire country including drive-ins." "I guess you don't remember that, huh?" "And I put you in the damn movie!" "Sorry, Johnny, I got a bark that's worse than my bite." "I gotta do something about this temper." "I'm sorry, I didn't know that." "Oh, no, that's all right." "I'm sorry." "I'm very sorry." "I just think it's..." "He just won't go along with it, that's all." "Hey, you wanna know what I think?" "I think it would be good for his image." "I really feel it'd be wrong." "I mean, he doesn't like me." "Telephone, Mr. Dispasques..." "Moron!" "Moron!" "Hey, let me ask you boys something." "How much money do you still owe on the limo?" "Just..." "I don't know." "About, a little over $10,000, I think." "$12,300." "It's a lot of money." "That's a lot of fares." "That's a lot of work." "You know, I'd be willing to kiss that money off if you could swing a deal with Reese." "Oh, no." "No, no, no, no..." "Well, it's real important to me, Johnny." "You do this, do this for me, I do this for you." "Scratch my back, I'm scratching yours." "Well, Sal, it's impossible." "Thanks very much." "Well, just think about it, that's all." "We gotta go to work." "Johnny, that's a lot of money." "I know it is, and I'm thinking about it." "Good." "All right, I'll tell you what I'll do." "I'll ask Nancy to ask the old man, but I'm not promising anything." "Great." "That's all I ask." "Now, do me a favor, would you?" "I'm not covering for you tonight." "I'm sorry." "No, I cannot work late." "Now, we've got that big brunch tomorrow at Nancy's folks', and I wanna be perky and charming." "Easy fare." "They're classical musicians." "You just take them to their hotel." "It'll only take a minute." "No!" "No is no." "We are live outside the courthouse where religious cult leader" "Sun Yi Day has just been indicted on several counts." "Included are conspiracy, tax evasion, kidnapping, resisting arrest and jury tampering." "Congressman Ed Reese, the presidential hopeful who's leading the crusade against these people, will be joining us shortly." "Hi, Shirley." "Congressman." "Shirley, what everyone must understand about this is that it is not religious persecution." "The Church of Sun Yi is not a church at all." "It's a front." "It's a, it's a tax shelter set up solely for personal financial gain." "Well, how do you see this situation now?" "Shirley, there are so..." "Excuse me." "Reverend Sun Yi, could we get a statement?" "The Reverend Sun Yi has no statements at this time." "I'd like to say that this is a very old story." "If you don't understand something then you attack it." "You call it weird or a cult and you try to destroy it." "While the person who is leading the attack is usually someone who is on very shaky moral ground himself." "He's unsure of himself and so he lashes out in a paranoid way against those of us who've ascended to a higher plane of consciousness and awareness." "Well, we'll survive this." "We always have in the past." "And when Mr. Reese loses his anger and his fear we invite him to join us in spreading our message of love and profit." "Thank you very much." "Shirley, this is pure crap." "Can we quote you, Congressman?" "Shirley, you may quote this." "I am going to get him." "Spanish version of the Beatles." "Wonderful." "Los Beatles." "Ringo." "Really?" "Pablo." "How you doing?" "Hi." "Hi." "Juan." "Juan." "How are you?" "Jorge." "Jorge." "And I'm Mick Jagger!" "No." "Not while I'm driving, thanks." "Oh, thank you very much." "Oh, thank you, God!" "Oh, thank you, God!" "I owe you!" "You made it." "A whole hour to sleep." "That's all I need." "Just need an hour." "I'm sorry." "You're fat." "My husband was fat." "He's dead now." "You must eat like a pig." "Pig." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Cigarettes will kill you." "My husband smoked, you know." "He died from smoking too much." "I thought you said he died 'cause he was fat." "He was fat with bad lungs!" "Granny?" "Granny!" "It's so good to see you." "My little girl." "I see you've met John." "No, I don't believe I have." "Oh, Granny, this is my fiancé, John Bourgignon." "Oh!" "How do you do?" "Oh, what a handsome young man." "I hope you will both be as happy as your grandfather and I were." "John!" "Are you okay?" "I'm sorry." "I'm very sorry, Mrs. Reese." "I'm very sorry." "That's all right." "He's been real tired recently." "He's been working so hard." "He's just exhausted." "Where's Dad?" "He's still on the phone talking to Washington." "You know how it is in Washington." "Yeah." "I'm sorry I'm late, everyone." "I always say you can call me anything but don't call me late for dinner." "Yeah." "Mother, it's good to see you." "You look as wonderful as ever." "Hi, honey." "Hello, baby." "Hello, Daddy." "Hello, Mr. Reese." "Yeah." "Daddy, John and Chick's business is really improving now." "Do you think that's gonna make you enough money to support my daughter, driving a limousine?" "Yes, sir, I do." "Yes, sir, that, and I also supplement my income by drumming part time." "As a matter of fact, I'll be performing tonight." "Wonderful." "You hang out in nightclubs?" "No, sir, it's not really a nightclub." "How much money do you make a year?" "Wouldn't you rather talk about this in private, sir?" "No!" "I'll get it." "Who could be at the back door?" "That'd be probably my best man Chick and his date." "I invited him, Daddy." "As I was saying, how much money do you make in a year?" "Oh..." "In a year?" "I would say anywhere from 30 to... $11,000 a year, sir." "But I invest very heavily in stocks." "Stocks?" "Oh, yes." "Who's your investor?" "It's..." "You wouldn't know them." "Really?" "What's that name?" "No, I know a lot of small firms." "Oh, they're just, they're new almost, and they go by the name of, of Smith and Barney and Andy and Dopey." "I'm very sorry." "You clumsy ox!" "Daddy, please!" "Do you see what you did?" "He didn't mean to break the chair." "He's too fat." "I'm sorry." "I'm very sorry about the chair, sir." "A little Krazy Glue will fix that right up." "I'll just sit here if it's..." "Here's my friend Chick Leff now and his date." "Hi, everybody." "Thanks for the invite." "Johnny, this is Misty." "Hi." "Oh, soup." "Pretty fancy place here, huh?" "Yes, it looks great." "You have a half hour left." "It's up to you if you wanna get off or not." "Oh!" "Cool it!" "You know how ridiculous you people look?" "Hello, darling." "Patti's here now." "I hate you people." "I hate all of you." "She doesn't mean this." "But your day of reckoning will come!" "And when it does, I hope you get what you deserve!" "That's my daughter Patti." "She's the youngest." "Probably just a phase she's going through." "If you like, I'll talk to her." "You know, I'm more her age." "Oh, Jesus, I need a drink." "I gotta make a martini." "He's been under a lot of strain lately." "That's all right, Mrs. Reese." "Stress has been known to turn people into complete shitheads." "Not your husband per se, but..." "I'll get it." "Well, maybe the wedding will help to bring everybody closer together." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Weddings are like that." "Misty, your pimp is here to see you." "Uh-oh... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8." "Come on, ladies, and run." "Run, shoulders back." "The new recruits sure look good." "Sun Yi showed great foresight setting us up here." "Mind control, by way of the body." "Such empty minds crying out for fulfillment." "I'd like to fulfill that one in the red." "Control, strong, your body is your best friend." "I claim my divine right..." "I claim my divine right to material stuff..." "... to material stuff before someone else does." "... before someone else does." "My body, my mind, my money." "Sun Yi, Sun Yi..." "Okay, okay, okay, that's enough." "Let's get down to business." "Bruno, you got a cigarette?" "Yeah." "Let me have the regional financial report." "It's not great news." "I told you we were gonna have a lot of bad publicity from that Reese interview." "Transmissions have been very clear on this." "The obstacle must be removed." "Angela, initiate Plan A." "Yes, Your Holiness." "Plan A." "Get the big guy in the gray limousine." "Hi, guys." "Cut the small talk, you're late!" "I've been playing pocket pool up there for 15 minutes." "I got a grand opening today!" "All right, all right, where to, Sal?" "Third and Elsmere." "Mr. Hound Dogs." "The hot dog people?" "Yeah." "They want the boys to walk around wearing sandwich boards." "It's not a bad idea." "Did you talk to Reese?" "No, sorry." "I haven't had a chance." "Would you talk to him, Johnny?" "This is important to me." "Yeah, I will." "Do you think you could drop me off on the way?" "Yes, I would mind actually." "Would you drive?" "All right." "Hey, John?" "Yeah?" "What do you think if we put like a flat gray on the wall and then maybe a Chinese-red lacquer trim on the molding?" "Do you think that'd be good?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I do, too." "John?" "John?" "What?" "John, did you hear anything I was saying?" "No." "I'm practicing." "Come on, Nance." "I gotta practice." "I'm playing tonight." "Yeah, but you've been practicing all day long." "I know, I'm bad." "What do you mean you're bad?" "You're the greatest." "You're a great drummer." "Well, you tell that to the guys tonight, okay?" "I think it's amazing what you do with all these things." "You know, what you do with your little foot there." "I know, it is amazing how that works." "What you do with these..." "What do you call them, "drumstick" things?" "Drumstick things, that's very good." "Yeah." "That's what they're called." "Well, why don't you show me how to use them?" "No, no." "This takes years." "Come on." "It takes years to play this." "Show me." "No, I can't." "I gotta get ready to go." "Tell you what." "Just put them in your hands." "Very good, just like that." "Why don't you just sit down and play?" "Go nuts, all right?" "Have fun." "I gotta get ready." "Nancy, don't ever do that again!" "Excuse me." "I'm looking for a guy named Skipper." "I'm a guy named Skipper." "Damien, take that tablecloth off there, will you?" "It's all bloody." "It looks terrible." "And I told you I want baby blue spots in all those fixtures." "Now get to it!" "I'm trying." "Yes?" "I'm John Bourgignon from the Musicians Union." "Oh, really?" "Well, you tell those people over there to take me off that unfair list." "It's unfair to me." "I didn't do a damn thing." "I don't know anything about that." "I'm just a drummer." "Oh, thank God you're here." "Here's the costume." "Take it and put it on." "The dressing room is right back there." "Damien, be a dear, will you, and get me a cup of coffee?" "I'm only one person." "I'm sorry, I can't wear this." "Oh, look at the gross national product." "After inflation, you know, you gotta remember that." "We gotta go back to the gold standard." "How you doing?" "Hi, how are you?" "Yo." "Yeah." "I don't know about this." "I've heard those ladies can get pretty rough." "Come on, it's a job." "With women, what can happen?" "Since most of you gentlemen are not strangers to this court, you know exactly what kind of behavior I will tolerate." "Any breach of courtroom protocol will receive the maximum penalty." "Am I understood?" "Okay, let's get this over with." "We'll start at this end." "Approach the bench and state your case." "What are you doing here?" "I set fire to my family." "Jesus Christ, he set fire to his family." "Oh, my God!" "Oh!" "How you doing?" "I don't know." "I don't think I'm doing too good." "Right." "Listen, you got any ludes?" "What?" "Ludes." "Shut up!" "The guy's a cop." "How about some reefer?" "Just relax, will you?" "Toot!" "You got any toot?" "Listen, I'm freaking out!" "I'm not gonna make it." "Get out of my pocket!" "Look, we're all freaking out, here!" "Just relax, will you?" "Get some control of yourself." "Think positive, you'll be all right." "All right." "This guy over here, he just set fire to his entire family for God's sakes!" "Just don't look at him." "Be quiet!" "Just relax." "You all right?" "Great." "Think positive." "I'm right here if you need me." "Easy." "Where did our public defender go?" "Right here, Your Honor." "Oh, my God!" "Think positive." "You don't even know the case." "I know the law." "Don't you..." "Would you like to consult with your client?" "I would like a change of venue." "Denied." "Proceed." "Your Honor, then I request a summary dismissal." "Can you support that motion?" "Yes, indeed, I can." "There are thousands of criminals roaming all over the streets just as guilty as my client." "Why pick on him?" "What the hell are you saying?" "I know what I'm doing." "Motion denied." "Your Honor, I would very much like to have another lawyer, please, because this one is not to my satisfaction." "And I would feel that..." "Your Honor, I would like you to disqualify yourself." "On what grounds?" "On the grounds that you've got a bad attitude." "Bad attitude?" "Denied!" "Counselor?" "Okay." "May we approach the bench, please?" "Yes." "Don't blow this!" "Don't, don't worry." "Your Honor, may we speak off the record here?" "The proceedings so far are rather pressing." "I wanted to ask you, do you have a toot?" "A lude, reefer?" "What the hell are you saying?" "You are out of order!" "I'm out of order?" "You're out of order!" "Shut up!" "You're out of order!" "This whole court's out of order!" "Thirty days in the County Jail for contempt." "This is worse than Attica!" "Attica, that's right!" "Attica!" "Attica!" "Order!" "Order!" "Attica!" "Attica!" "Attica!" "Attica!" "Order!" "Order in the court!" "Attica!" "Attica!" "Attica!" "Attica!" "I mean, I'm cool." "I mean, I'm out of here." "I know." "You see I, Muhammed Jerome Willy, have a plan." "Yeah?" "You see, Muhammed ain't going to the joint." "I'm a three-time loser, man." "I mean, I'm gonna do some time for this one." "And I don't feel like dying in jail." "You with me?" "What?" "You with me?" "What do you mean?" "We out of here." "You with me?" "Oh, no." "You gotta be crazy." "I'm not going with you." "You go yourself." "You're a murderer." "I'm just a..." "I didn't do..." "I didn't mean that, I didn't mean..." "Make my move, you best keep up." "Dig?" "I dig very much, sir." "No, wait, I've changed my mind." "Wait, I don't wanna go with you!" "I can't." "Look, I'll never keep up!" "Let's go." "Oh, no." "Oh, no." "Who is it?" "It's me, baby." "Open up." "Muhammed, what are you doing here?" "What do you mean, what am I doing here?" "I'm here to see you." "You look good, baby." "How about a little sugar?" "Never mind the sugar." "I don't have any time." "I'm running late." "Excuse me." "Do you think I could borrow a hacksaw?" "Who's the surfer?" "I just wanna borrow it, cut this off and I'm gone." "Later!" "Sit down!" "Baby, you look good." "What are you doing in handcuffs?" "I got busted." "It's a long story." "That's it!" "Get out of my house!" "I'm not harboring escaped criminals." "You have an acetylene torch in there I could borrow?" "Sit down!" "Well, listen how the woman talks to the man who pays the rent." "In your dreams." "You never paid my rent in your life." "Well, look, I was gonna!" "I just never got around to it." "It looks good, baby." "Hey, what's this?" "Nothing." "What do you mean nothing?" "It looks like a suitcase to me." "You don't wanna know." "Don't get involved." "Hey, hey, baby, baby." "Now, where my baby going?" "I've got a date." "See, it's just a date." "A date?" "Looks more serious than a date." "Looks more like an overnight trip." "Hey, who you been seeing behind my back?" "Look, it's probably just a pajama party." "Bunch of girls get together, they play some records, they have some popcorn, pretzels." "That's all it is." "Francine, get out here, now!" "I'll come out when I feel like it!" "Look, want some advice, pal?" "Be gentle with the woman." "Women like it when you're gentle." "I'm gentle." "Works for me all the time." "I'm telling you, if you..." "I'll just shut the fuck right up." "I'm furious!" "I don't belong to you." "I don't belong to anyone and I advise you to get out of here before he gets here!" "Oh, lady, please, reconsider." "You could help us, you know?" "Before who gets here?" "Before he gets here!" "Look, I want him to get here." "As a matter of fact, I'm in the mood for a fight." "I'm not afraid of him, you, you, nobody!" "And no woman talks to Muhammed Jerome Willy the way you've been doing and especially not in front of company!" "Well, I'm not impressed with your company!" "I'm not impressed with you, now, just get out of here!" "Look, you don't tell me to get out." "No woman tells, nobody tells me to get out!" "I'm telling you to get out!" "I wish I could take that back." "I didn't mean to say it." "I'm sorry I yelled." "What I wanted to say was just that maybe we could all sit down like adults and just sit down and talk." "Look, I'm very sorry." "I'm sorry for yelling." "Fine." "See what we're into now?" "We're yelling." "Fine." "Sit down." "Let's sit down like adults, right?" "Now?" "Fine." "You're nothing but a goddamn lazy no-good fool!" "And you're nothing but a two-timing bitch!" "You're nothing but trouble!" "I hope they hang your ass!" "Good!" "Because that's just what they're gonna do!" "Well, doesn't that feel better now?" "Huh?" "Let's get out of here!" "Come on!" "Break out!" "Running and hiding from the police!" "Come all the way over here to see you." "Only reason we came over anyway was to say goodbye." "That's why you came over?" "To say goodbye?" "You mean in the midst of all that trouble you came over to see me?" "That's right." "That's okay, 'cause I'm ready to face the heat." "Now, I know the police out there with their machine guns and helicopters." "We gonna get blown away, but that's all right, too, 'cause we ready to die!" "No, we're not." "At least I got a chance to behold my baby's face one last time." "Listen to this here." "Muhammed, don't go." "Say "please. "" "Please." "Please." "Baby, I love the way you say, "Please. "" "That was a great "please. "" "So good to Muhammed." "Did my big Muhammed miss me?" "Baby, Muhammed missed you." "How much did he miss me?" "I missed the smell of your hair, the taste of your neck." "Don't waste it." "Oh!" "Oh, no." "Hey, man, you got to go!" "Why?" "Now." "Don't!" "Oh, come on." "Bye." "I won't." "Thank you." "Let's jump to it, baby." "About how long?" "Not long." "Get out of here!" "Oh, baby!" "Oh, baby!" "Yes." "Good." "Oh, God!" "It's been so long." "Oh, I missed you." "I missed you so much." "There you are, right there." "Good." "Oh, Muhammed, you thrill me!" "Oh, you thrill me!" "So good." "So good." "Can I give you a hand there?" "Yeah, would you?" "Yeah, sure." "Would you hold this while I open my door?" "No problem." "Yes, yes, yes." "That's it!" "Thanks." "Yeah, sure." "Push, push, push, push, push, push!" "Oh, baby!" "You're the king!" "You're the king!" "Muhammed!" "Muhammed?" "Oh, my God!" "What's wrong?" "He's dead!" "What?" "He's dead!" "Oh, my God, he's dead!" "He's what?" "Dead." "Chick?" "Yeah, it's me, John." "Look, I'm in a little bit of trouble here." "I wonder if you could come down and move real quickly and get down here?" "Yeah." "I'm at..." "Okay, boys, last call." "Yeah." "I'll have another draft, please, and another screwdriver for my friend." "What's the matter with your friend?" "Just..." "Just still meditating." "He looks drunk as a skunk to me." "Yeah." "I just hope that rigor mortis doesn't set in." "Whoa!" "Hey, Muhammed Jerome Willy." "My man." "What's up?" "What's happening, blood?" "Hey, man, that's me." "Wallace Jefferson, you remember me?" "P.S. 303?" "Draft beer for you and a screwdriver for Mr. Personality." "Thanks." "Oh, man." "Hey, man, you remember Maurice Walker, the car thief?" "He's dead." "Yeah, his old lady threw him down an elevator shaft." "That must have happened..." "That must have been three, four years ago, man." "I got me a new ride." "I'm talking about cocoa brown, drop-top..." "The guy next to me is dead!" "He's dead?" "Who's the other guy?" "I don't know." "Did you bring it?" "Yeah, I got it here." "Just cut, just cut these off." "Well, so how have you been, Muhammed?" "You was always the loose cat." "Always the laugh of the party." "Really?" "You know, that's, that's what he was saying." "Oh, yeah." "They always depend on Muhammed." "Really?" "This is my main man." "You in good company, Jack." "We were just talking about you." "Yeah, he done mellowed out a lot, man." "That's good, brother, that's good." "Same thing with me, too." "Are you still with Francine?" "Huh?" "You know, I've been meaning to talk to you about that." "I mean, that's a heck of a woman you got there." "Personally, I never thought you had the energy for her." "Yeah, but I can see you done mellowed out now." "You cool, and that's good, brother, because you know we get older, we got to start thinking about our future, man." "You know?" "What you looking at, bro?" "Tell you all about it later." "I just wanna get out of here." "Yeah, well, I feel kind of funny just leaving him sit there like that." "Yeah, well, at least he's with his friend." "Oh, by the way, Nancy set up a meeting between Ed Reese and Sal for tomorrow." "Oh, I can't make it." "I'm exhausted." "Man, you got to cover for me." "All right, all right, get some rest." "I'll cover for you." "Pal, I owe you for this." "Nice tits, huh, Congressman?" "I'm terribly sorry." "I meant to say breasts." "That was very crass, I'm sorry." "Your wife was a very beautiful woman, Mr. Di Pasquale." "Yes, she was, Nancy." "She certainly was." "See, she was, she wanted to be an actress." "I was a very important film director at that time." "Very important, prominent movie director." "And she was using me to get to the top and that..." "That hurt me very, very deeply." "Let's get this thing signed, shall we?" "I have other things on my agenda this evening." "I'm sure you do, Congressman." "I mean, what with running for President and all, you know." "Please have a seat." "Nancy, asseyez-vous as they say in Paris." "I'll get some champagne" "'cause I wanna propose a toast." "Thank you." "Okay." "That's good." "To a very successful campaign, and an equally successful marriage." "That's warm." "I just picked it up." "I didn't have a chance to chill it." "It's not bad." "I think it's French." "I hope you understand, Mr. Di Pasquale," "I like the idea of capturing my daughter's wedding on film." "I think the American public would enjoy seeing the daughter of a prominent politician marry a ordinary, hard-working American boy, but I'm not at all acquainted with your work and on first impression," "I'm not at all impressed by your lifestyle or your character." "Hm." "Why don't we just take a look at Mr. Di Pasquale's film, Daddy?" "That's a wonderful idea, Congressman." "Why don't we look at the film?" "And then it..." "Chick." "'Cause I think my work speaks for itself." "You wanna get the lights while you're back there, Chick?" "Kung Fu U!" "This was a very difficult film to put together." "Hey, young fella, listen!" "Why don't you try out some of our other facilities besides the cafeteria?" "That's right!" "We've got a lot of facilities here like, well, the athletic department and there's a wonderful library, too." "Yes, I know." "Why don't you check them out?" "Okay." "When you get a chance." "I'll do that." "Now, just beat it!" "Thanks very much." "See you tonight." "So the Korean said, "Lice?" "I thought you meant rice. "" "Oh, that's funny." "Hey, you, freshman, go get me some food." "Snap to it." "Joe!" "Now that scene there was critically acclaimed in papers across this country." "The reviewers ate it up." "We must teach them a lesson." "Seduce her!" "Can't you read the sign?" "No seducing in the cafeteria!" "Now you pay the piper." "It was very big in France." "One, two, and one and two." "Oh, there you go." "You want some?" "All right, you." "I've seen enough." "Oh, well, I thought that's all it would take." "Nancy, honey, will you wait for me down in the limousine?" "Let me talk a little..." "Oh, sure, Daddy." "...business to Mr. Di Pasquale." "That's a good idea, Congressman." "I won't be long, baby." "Okay." "They don't have to know." "Take him with you, will you?" "Nice meeting you, Nancy." "Sure, my pleasure." "Chick, we'll see..." "Okay." "So, Congressman, where shall we start here?" "I have some marvelous ideas about the procession itself, but if you wanna talk money then maybe we should talk budget." "I wouldn't give you a wooden nickel to film my daughter's wedding." "I think this whole wedding idea is a very bum idea." "I'm sorry to hear you say that, Congressman." "You know, I didn't really wanna have to do this, but you know, I got to..." "Have you, have you ever heard of the Del Marina Motel?" "What are you talking about?" "Well, sir, it might be coincidental but I just, I got a property..." "And it seems to have your name on it, unless, of course, there's a different Ed Reese." "I thought you might wanna take a look at it." "Calling Limo One." "Dispatch." "Come in, Limo One." "Yeah, this is Limo One." "We only got one limo." "Well, that's Limo One, I guess." "What do you want, Chick?" "Look, don't forget to get over to the aerobics clinic tonight." "That lady asked for you specifically." "Yeah, all right." "I think what I'll do is, I'm gonna go to Moms and grab a burger." "Boy, I haven't been there in years." "I've been craving burgers all day." "Have a nice quiet meal at Moms." "Please, don't do anything to my head, sir." "I will pay for it..." "I will pay for any inconvenience or damage done to this..." "Come on." "What happened to the music?" "It's music, come on, music." "Come on." "I don't like purple-headed faggots jumping up and down!" "Hey, why don't you just leave us alone?" "Oh, got pink hair all over, huh?" "What are you supposed to be, a rooster or something?" "Hey, hey, come on, gentlemen, gentlemen, please, ladies!" "Come on, have we forgotten our own youth?" "You don't remember the '60s?" "How rebellious our music was?" "Come on, have you forgotten acid rock?" "Jimi Hendrix, Woodstock!" "As far as the hair goes, didn't our own long hair turn a few heads?" "Really, you know, we should appreciate another generation's cultural movement." "Fuck you, hippie." ""Fuck you, hippie. "" ""Fuck you, hippie. "" "You know, I would accept that, you know, from anyone else but you, you fucking rooster head." "I expect it from you, but you owe me an apology." "He's right." "S-O-R..." "S-O-R..." "R-Y." "S-O-R-R-Y." "Sorry." "Period." "Yeah." "The end." "You know what?" "We've got a failure to communicate." "That's what it is." "Now, I could stay here all day long, and I could take each one of you on, one at a time." "But I'm not going to." "I'm going to leave you with one thought." "This simple message." "I still believe in it." "Because this is right." "I love all of you, my brothers and sisters." "Peace." "I'm leaving." "Peace." "Hey, motor bum." "Higher, higher, lift and reach." "Reach." "Reach for beauty, reach for peace." "Reach for money and success, and reach." "Reach." "Good, here comes our boy." "Set everything up." "This could prove to be very interesting." "Reach." "Reach for beauty." "Reach for peace, reach for money and success, reach." "Excuse me, sorry to bother you." "Limousine guy." "Take them more often." "Hi, excuse me, you are..." "Hi, how are you." "Limousine's out there." "I'll wait here, I'll just wait here." "Reach, reach for beauty, reach for peace, reach for money and success." "And stretch, stretch." "Stretch, use it all..." "Limousine!" "Sorry." "I got the limousine right in front." "I'm a little early." "I'm very sorry." "I'll wait out there for you." "Whenever you're ready, I'm right out front." "Come in for a second." "Come in?" "This is our driver." "Hi, John Bourgignon." "Pleased to meet you." "Bruno, hi." "I'm Clarence." "Clarence, how are you?" "Nice to meet you, John." "So, where are we going this evening?" "Where are we going this evening?" "Where?" "We're going out." "We'll tell you on the way there." "Okay." "How about a drink, John?" "Not for me, thanks, I'm driving." "We insist." "Just one drink before we start our evening." "I really can't." "It's company policy." "Oh, please, John, you must have one." "I can't break the company policy." "Come on." "I can't..." "Break it." "Cheers." "Cheers." "It's bad luck if you don't all clink." "We'll have ours later." "I see." "Does it come in that bottle?" "I'd like to get the name of that." "I'm having a little party later on." "How are you feeling?" "Me?" "I'm..." "I don't feel very good." "Why don't you sit down, John?" "Thank you." "Yeah, I will." "I kind of gulped it a little fast there." "That was the..." "I shouldn't do that, you know." "I've done that since I was a kid." "I have this bad habit." "Just relax, John." "All right." "Look at the girls." "Lovely, long-limbed bodies." "John, someone wants to take their bodies away." "No, you got to be kidding." "Those bodies?" "Oh, not a chance." "He's in our power." "Show me something." "Is this a dream, John?" "I don't know." "I am the only one on this planet." "The only one in the universe." "I am your world, John." "Okay, I'll buy that." "You'd do anything for me, wouldn't you?" "Yes, sure." "Even kill your future father-in-law." "Okay, why not?" "Bark like a dog." "Shut up!" "Thank you, John, that won't be necessary." "Very good dog, though." "Continue." "Tomorrow you'll be going to your wedding rehearsal." "At a certain point someone will come up to you with a playing card." "That card will be the five of spades." "John, do you see this man?" "Yes." "This man wants to take away the bodies." "When you see this card, you will kill this man." "Heel!" "Heel!" "Now, see what you did?" "Idiot!" "Walkies." "Sit, sit." "Yeah!" "SUN Yl:" "What's this?" "That's not a killer, that's a schmuck!" "Something has gone wrong." "The hypnosis has magnified his most juvenile traits." "Well, is he gonna kill Reese or not?" "We won't know until he sees the five of spades again." "That irresponsible bastard, I'm gonna kill him." "Please, Mr. Reese, this is a house of worship." "Oh, for God's sake!" "Where is he?" "Now what's the real story, you little weasel?" "Mr. Reese, I'm sure he had a late fare." "I mean, you don't realize how hard he's been working." "There he is now." "Hi, sweetheart." "Hi." "Where have you been?" "I overslept." "Everyone's been waiting." "Now let me get this straight." "Patti shows him the five of spades." "And he either turns into a killer or a schmuck?" "Yes, Your Holiness." "Why don't we all assume our positions?" "Has anyone seen Patti?" "No, I'll go find her." "Oh, thanks, John." "Patti, what are you doing here?" "Come on, what's going on here?" "John, would you sit down?" "They're waiting out there." "Sit down!" "What is it?" "I have something that I have to show you." "Come on, they're..." "It's very important that you see this." "It's a matter of life and death." "What is it?" "Okay, we'll start off with "Dearly beloved" and all that, then we'll move straight into the personal vows that Nancy and John have written for themselves." "Would you care to read those, folks, so I'll know what to expect?" ""I, Nancy, take thee, John, in soul and body" ""and offer all my love to thee, as our separate lives merge into one. "" "Lovely." "Wait, I'm not quite finished yet." ""With this ring, a circle of our precious love," ""I thee wed. "" "Is that it?" "Yes, and then John pledges his vows." "John?" "Let's consummate the marriage now!" "Dive!" "Dive!" "Yeah!" "It's hickey time!" "He's acting like a schmuck." "He's not gonna kill anybody." "No, he's not." "He'll have to be reprogrammed." "Well, what's he gonna do?" "There's no telling what he'll do." "A little decorum, please!" "Did you say decorum?" "Did you say decorum?" "That big word coming out of that little cute mouth." "Say "decorum" again." "Decorum!" "Decorum." "I'm gonna put you up on my mantle." "There you go." "You sit right there." "I wanna talk to everybody." "Mom, Dad, Grandma, Patti, Nancy, I'd like to talk about my dick." "John, what are you doing?" "It's about this wide." "And it's about..." "I'm gonna kill him!" "Who's Dick?" "Like I keep telling you, I don't know." "I draw a blank." "I can't remember anything." "What'd I say to that minister?" "You looked him right in the eye and you said it was that big." "Oh, my God, I'm gonna kill myself." "How big?" "Never mind." "Now look, this psychiatrist we're going to is great." "In fact, he's the one that cured Sal." "I am gonna kill myself." "What the hell is that?" "A mushroom?" "It's a brain." "Come on." "Mushroom." "You must have some fear that's unspoken." "You must have some dream, a recurrent nightmare." "What haunts you?" "A dream?" "I got a dream that comes almost every night, or every other night." "All right, tell me about that." "Well, I don't know, it's a little embarrassing." "I don't think I can..." "No, not at all." "Oh, you know, it's one of those dreams you don't wanna talk about." "You're among friends." "I know, I..." "You can trust me, I'm a professional." "Yeah." "Come on." "All right, what the hell." "Well, I..." "It always starts on this desert island." "And there's this beautiful girl there." "I must admit, I am kind of sexy in this dream." "Did you ever see that movie The Blue Lagoon?" "Well, it's kind of like that, I guess." "I'm on this island with this beautiful girl." "I don't know how she got there, but it's a dream." "You can do whatever you want in a dream, right?" "I really, I think, turn her on a lot, but I'm not, I'm not into that, you know?" "No, she wants games all the time." "She keeps on eating fruit in front of me to show me that she's horny." "Now, this drives me crazy." "But no, I don't bite." "We meet at our palace." "This palace that I built on the beach." "And I know this is the night that has got to be the big confrontation." "She wants it." "It's like a nymphomaniac in heat, if that's possible, but that's the way she is." "I can't do it." "I just can't do it with her." "No matter how much I want to, I can't." "I got to say no to her, and it drives her crazy." "She's begging me, she keeps begging me." "But I won't allow it." "She keeps pounding on the door." "She's driving me crazy." "It's like a bad nightmare." "At this point, I wanna wake up but I just can't." ""More, more, more," she screams. "More." "I need you, I want you. "" "I can't." "So I go off to be alone with my thoughts." "I'm alone, alone, alone, alone, alone, alone, alone, alone..." "And I look up, and I'm not alone anymore!" "There's a big ship in front of me." "It's like the cast and crew of Love Boat, all looking down laughing at me, pointing and laughing and..." "I was standing there alone just holding that one little thought in my head." "I'm so embarrassed and I smile and I just can't do anything and they're still laughing." "Oh, it's disgusting." "I'm so alone and..." "Oh, that's funny." "Look at his problem." "Oh, that's great." "Thanks a lot." "Thank you." "Thank you very much." "That's wonderful." "What do you make of that, Doctor?" "Well, if you want my professional opinion, I think someone has altered his mind." "Altered his mind?" "Why do you think that?" "That's right." "Well, his fear of fantasy is too vivid." "I don't trust that." "You see, I think you've been put under some sort of post-hypnotic suggestion." "Like, you know, the Amazing Kreskin?" "Oh, no, it's not as simple as just memorizing a few names from the Tonight Show audience." "I think your friend has been put under an actual spell." "There's only one way to cure that." "What's that?" "To drop him on his fucking head." "There you go." "Drop me on my fucking..." "I'm gonna drop you." "Doc, what are you doing?" "This is fear therapy." "It's just like curing the hiccups." "You see that Pinto?" "That's my target." "Is this gonna work?" "I don't know, but I bet the spell is gone." "So how do you feel?" "Nice and refreshed?" "I feel all right." "Good." "Good." "Now, you talked to her, what did she say?" "Yeah, I talked to her while you were in the shower." "Yeah." "She said she was willing to meet you here at the restaurant." "That's it?" "What else?" "Look, you're lucky you got that much out of her, believe me." "Now, what are you gonna say to her?" "Oh, I'm gonna take your advice." "I'm gonna sit her down, look her right in the eyes..." "Yeah." "...and lie my ass off." "Always works, Johnny." "There she is." "All right, let's go." "Naw, she looks pissed." "I'm gonna have a drink." "Me, too." "I'll have..." "Get over there!" "Go on." "Hi, Nance." "Mind if I sit here?" "Thank you." "So..." "So." "I have never been so embarrassed in my entire life, John." "Well, why don't we leave?" "We don't have to stay here." "You don't like it, I don't like it either." "You know, let's go." "I don't even know why" "I'm bothering to stay here and talk to you." "Hey, come on, Nance, give me a break, please, let me explain." "Give me a chance." "Five minutes, that's all I want." "All right?" "Okay." "You see," "I think I've really..." "I don't have any control over myself anymore." "I seem to have lost it." "Oh, you can say that again." "My father wants to kill you, John." "Sure." "You're frightening." "I don't even know who you are anymore." "Neither do I." "Neither do I, Nancy, and that's why I went to a psychiatrist." "You did?" "I didn't want to tell you, but, yes, I went to a psychiatrist." "What'd he say?" "What he..." "He said that I'm..." "I've developed a brain virus." "You mean, you're sick?" "Crazy kind of sick or..." "It's more along the lines of a 24-hour brain virus." "Something that can affect your brain much the same..." "Much like diarrhea of the brain, in that the gray matter kind of runs a little bit and mixes with the other." "It's just a passing thing, that he said that if I get a lot of rest and took a lot of vitamin C, which I thought strange, but vitamin C is very good, and the love of a good woman, he said." "And those were his exact words." "I know it sounds like a John Wayne movie, but that's..." ""The love of a good woman. "" "What do we do now?" "Well, I guess we could get married, but I..." "I would like to but I know you wouldn't wanna do it." "Who says I wouldn't want to do it?" "Oh, come on, don't." "Let's just drop it." "Don't grovel." "Well, I gave it a shot." "I gave it a very good shot." "It worked." "It worked?" "Where did I get you?" "The virus?" "I was reaching." "Thank you." "Oh, yeah, I'm in love." "Looking good." "You have a very nice ass." "Like I'm gonna bite it!" "John, what are you doing?" "Don't do this to me, John." "Hey, I'm not gonna do this to you." "You relax me, baby." "You do, you soothe my soul." "Savage soul." "What we have between us is special." "The magic." "Spin the magic." "It's show time!" "Yeah!" "All right, show time, ladies and gentlemen." "Here we go." "Don't!" "Did you think I was gonna do that?" "Let's mambo!" "Are you all right?" "I'm fine." "Take a bow." "Yeah, I'm an asshole and I'm loving it!" "Hey, let's mambo!" "Thank you very much." "Okay, fellas, take it easy." "Take five minutes." "Okay, can we have a little light here, please?" "Thank you very much." "Oh, that feels nice." "That feels..." "Doesn't that feel nice?" "Huh?" "It's incredible what light will do to you." "It just changes the whole mood." "I feel, I feel like singing." "I feel like singing." "I hope you folks don't mind." "This next song is dedicated, well, to you, honey." "My fiancée." "She's wonderful." "This is her right here." "The one with the blue eyes, soft blonde hair." "A wonderful lady." "The greatest lady in bed you'll ever wanna meet." "She's amazing." "I mean..." "I mean this." "The things that she can do with her mouth." "They're just..." "It's incredible." "I mean, she has..." "She knows so many sexual positions." "I'm dumbfounded half the time and I mean that, honey, I really do." "You're incredible." "The best lay I've ever had." "I mean, I would put her up against anybody in this room right now." "I mean, she'll wear you down." "She'll wear you right down." "She just grinds, grinds you to death." "I mean, she..." "You know, all day." "It's all day with her." "It's just non-stop." "She can't get enough." "And I respect that and I love you." "And this song goes out to you, honey." "It's entitled, Me and My Dick." "Help me out 'cause this is a special song." "I'm gonna sing with my dick in my hand, for you, honey." "I love you." "I mean that." "Drum roll, please!" "I'm trying to understand, John." "I know." "I guess it's like what Dr. Ted said." "Somebody must have put me in a spell and I've been walking around in this voodoo-like trance." "You were definitely in a trance at that wedding rehearsal." "I know." "I don't normally act that way." "I wanna thank you guys for sticking with me." "Hey, anything to get the old Johnny back, huh?" "I'm gonna get the limo." "I'll meet you on the corner." "Thanks, Chick." "Okay." "You know, I love you, Nancy." "I know you do." "Everything's gonna be okay." "Yeah." "I want you to open your eyes, John." "This hypnotism isn't gonna work." "All it does is make him act like a jerk." "He's not gonna kill anyone." "Yes, it will work." "His respect for the institution of fatherhood was too strong." "It caused a mental block." "Once we destroy that respect, he'll be exactly what we want him to be." "SUN Yl:" "Who's that imbecile out there?" "That's his friend." "Make him one with the ocean." "Let him sleep with the fishes." "You know, John, a lot of bad people are out there trying to get you." "Really?" "That's why we had to bring you here." "We wanted to make sure you'd be safe." "That's very kind of you." "One of those bad people is your future father-in-law, Ed Reese." "I'm looking for a John." "My name..." "I wonder if you saw him." "He's about this tall, light-colored hair, round face." "He's got a good nature, good-natured guy." "He's got a..." "He laughs like that." "I think he's with a couple of gentlemen." "Let's go, buster." "And no trouble." "Fathers are the root of it all, John." "I have a great respect for the institution of fatherhood." "Do you see?" "Fathers are bad, John." "And they must be stopped at all costs." "Think of all the damage they've done." "You know, John, throughout history, it was the father who was the cause of all the trouble." "Hi, honey, I'm home." "Hello, dear." "Where's Princess?" "Here she is." "Hi, Dad." "Hi, Princess." "And where's my Kitten?" "She's upstairs." "Hi, Daddy." "Hi, Kitten." "Why don't you just slide down the banister?" "You know Daddy will always be here to catch you." "Here I come." "Another cup, dear?" "No, this coffee sucks!" "Maybe it's the caffeine that makes you so irritable." "I'm not irritable, God damn it!" "I'm an insurance salesman." "Insurance salesmen never get irritable, Margaret." "Anything you say, dear." "Where's Bud, that gearhead son of mine?" "You locked him in the shed for a week, don't you remember, dear?" "Oh, yes." "Hi, Father." "Hi, Princess." "Father, a very nice young man asked me to the RO TC ball next Friday." "Can I go?" "No." "But why not?" "He's perfectly acceptable." "And a lot of my friends are going." "I said no." "Friday is punishment night, Princess." "Father, I really wanna go." "Well, maybe you'd like to talk about this in the den." "Please, Father." "Oh, let's talk about it, Princess." "Please, don't!" "No!" "Let's have a little chat!" "Come on, Princess!" "Margaret?" "You're next." "Hi, Mrs. Anderson." "Hi, Mr. Anderson." "Do you think I could hide out here for a while?" "Beaver, what's wrong?" "You're covered with blood." "Yeah, I know." "It's Wally's blood." "See, Wally and I were fixing his bike in the driveway and Dad came home and got real mad." "So he took a gun out and killed Wally." "Blew his head clean off his shoulders." "His face is all over the garage door, it's a real mess." "Well, maybe your dad knows what he's doing." "I don't think so." "I think he flipped out." "Margaret, call up Ward." "Tell him Beaver's here." "Oh, don't do that, Mr. Anderson." "Please, Mrs. Anderson, don't do that." "I think it's time you had your punishment, Beaver." "Oh, no, Mr. Anderson, no!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "No, don't do that to the Beaver." "You can't do it to Beaver." "I hate you, Ward!" "I hate Jim Anderson!" "I hate Ed Reese!" "Good, John." "Now, when you hear the Minister say, "With this ring I thee wed,"" "you will take out your gun, point it at Ed Reese and squeeze the trigger." "It's the father of the bride." "So nice to see you again, Congressman." "Hey, couldn't ask for nicer weather, huh?" "Listen, we both know why you're here, you low-life scumbag, son of a bitch!" "Jim?" "Good to see you, Jim." "Just don't press your luck!" "Don't ever try to talk to me again, you hear?" "Hey!" "That's wonderful." "That's great, what a thing." "A marvelous sense of humor." "That's nice and low." "Bobby, get down." "Let's get the, the majesty of this damn thing." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Just kind of pan around." "That's it." "Just move, move!" "That's it." "What are you looking at?" "I'm not here!" "Just do your thing!" "It's a wedding." "Hi." "Friends of the bride on this side, friends of the groom on this side." "Groom." "Don't look at me." "Just keep walking." "That's beautiful." "Good." "Can we get the black guy?" "Can you get in here, 'cause that's very important for the Congressman?" "We need some black people in this." "That's nice." "Hi." "So far so good, huh?" "Hold your tongue." "The hardest part is still to come." "Where's the leader?" "He's around, somewhere, watching, like a cat on the prowl stalking his prey, making every movement count." "Shouldn't we go?" "Yes." "Keep moving." "I was a little hungry." "It's good." "It's a good thing to be hungry." "It's allowed." "I saw Patti." "You did a good job with her." "She looks very fine." "I hope the spell lasts." "It's been known to wear off under pressure." "Negative thoughts." "No negative thoughts." "Circulate." "That's good, just..." "That's good." "This is..." "That's good." "This is just no problem, keep moving." "This is a low angle." "That's all right." "Making a film." "Oh, this is beautiful." "This is great." "Just keep walking up." "That's fine." "That's good." "Making magic down here." "It looks fabulous." "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today..." "Action!" "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join John..." "In a matter of moments a union will take place within these hallowed walls." "A union between a man and a woman, who just happens to be the daughter of a guy that could be the next President of the United States." "I'm Sal Di Pasquale, and this is my film." "With this ring..." "John and Nancy." "...I thee wed." "The wedding." "Okay, Bobby, you can zoom in now." "That was great, Mr. Di..." "Get out of the way!" "And now, John, your vows?" "John?" "Well, I guess Nancy's vows will suffice for both." "And now we'll continue with the ceremony." "If anyone here knows of any reason why this couple should not be bound in holy matrimony, let him speak now or forever hold his peace." "Do you, Nancy Wilhelmina Reese..." "Do you, Nancy Wilhelmina Reese take this man, John Franklin Bourgignon, to be your lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health," "from this day forward?" "I do." "Do you, John Franklin Bourgignon, take this woman, Nancy Wilhelmina Reese, to be your lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health," "from this day forward?" "Yeah." "With this ring, I thee wed." "Chick, it's all right, I know what I'm doing!" "Sal, stop those guys!" "Block the aisle!" "Get out of the way!" "We're in a church." "Chick, are you all right?" "Yeah, I'm fine." "How about you?" "I'm not hypnotized." "Look, those cultists, they wanted me to kill Ed Reese." "Yeah, I know." "Look, what happened?" "They made me watch some phony Father Knows Best film." "I know TV." "Jim Anderson would never choke the Beaver." "Johnny?" "Oh, are you all right, Nance?" "Didn't you just save daddy's life?" "Will somebody please tell me what's going on?" "Daddy, Johnny just saved your life." "Dad, you owe me one." "Oh, my God!" "Well, was I right or was I right?" "I told you this was gonna be an incredible story, and it was." "Can you believe the way things work out?" "Sal and Ed Reese are partners?" "No!" "All right, it's a hot day out here, let's get it right the first time, all right?" "We can go home, it's history." "Ready?" "One, two, three, four." "Loosen up!" "That's it." "Smile." "Don't be afraid to smile." "You need to go with it." "Well, I'll tell you one thing, I'm happy to have you here." "You know, hey, man, you know, you ought to try some skin softener or something, man." "That stuff look real hard." "You ought to take care of it." "One thing I wanna talk to you about, though." "Now that the noodle factory is a success, and after all, I am the pasta king," "I think we ought to try and diversify." "What I think we ought to do is get into animal noodles." "We ought to make little dog noodles and little cat noodles." "We should get little lion and little tiger noodles, you know?" "Elephant noodles." "The kids will love it." "They'll eat it up." "And that's my plan, you see," "I'll get all the kids going into the supermarkets and they'll be buying Wallissimo Jefferson noodles and we will make a fortune." "Which reminds me, guess who I saw on 33rd and 3rd the other day?" "Lefkowitz." "You remember Lefkowitz, he a lawyer now." "Did it at home, too." "Correspondence course." "That boy was always smart." "He handles all my affairs for me now." "Takes care of me legally." "As a matter of fact, I don't mind saying" "Lefkowitz is directly responsible for the condition I'm in today." "Two weeks ago we did my will." "I wanna show it to you." "I got it right here." "He told me to keep it with me at all times." "You know like, just in case." "Here let me read this to you." "See, it say right here," ""I, Wallace A. Jefferson, being of sound mind, spent all my money. "" "Ain't that good?" "Wait till I die and they read that." "That's wonderful." "Another thing I wanted to talk to you about is about my new idea." "I call it Raiders of the Burning Bush." "You see, all we have to do is find the spot where the original burning bush went down and then we sell tickets so people can go see it." "It's kind of like the Lost Ark, especially what we're gonna do with it, see." "Well, I think more people would wanna see the spot where the burning bush went down." "Now, I know you might think it sounds kind of far-fetched." "I know a lot of people probably been looking for it and everything, but it's hard to find because the bush burned down." "You and me, Muhammed." "I think we can do it." "And I bet you we could make a fortune, too." "I know we can make enough to buy me a new convertible, after that dude stole it from the noodle factory." "You hired the cat." "And don't, don't go pretending like you didn't hire him because when he came and asked for the job," "I turned to you and I said, "Should we hire him or not?"" "And I gave you the nudge and you gave him the nod." "So you did hire the cat." "And you..." "I never brought this up before." "But I'm bringing it up now simply because it's gone." "So either you go in with me on this Raiders of the Burning Bush, or I'm gonna have to reconsider our partnership, Muhammed." "That's enough for you to drink, you know." "Hey, look here, I'm buying you a drink, you sit there, you eat, you waste it." "Come on, Muhammed." "That's all right, leave it there, I'll drink it myself." "The only trouble is, every time I drink one then I got to go again." "You never have to go." "I mean, I have two or three and I'm off to the john." "Used to be a time when I could hold a whole case." "Now I have two or three drinks, boom, I got to go." "Guess I must be getting older." "Ain't nothing I can do about it." "I mean, you can't stop time." "I mean, you see time walking down the street." "You say, "Hey, Time, hold it." "I wanna rap to you. "" "Time ain't gonna stop for you." "Time waits for no man." "Time will tell you, "Sorry, I got to march on. ""