"Fantastic Comedy By Ion Popescu Gopo" "An electronic computer, searching the vast cosmos, found that only nineteen thousand planets, could support life, like Planet Earth." "Out of these nineteen thousands planets, many are new and have primary life forms." "On other planets, civilisation has reached unexpected heights." "The beings on this planet are... suffering." "They suffer from a shortage of energy." "Huge telescopes explore the universe." "When they discover... a new extraterrestrial fuel concept, they urgently send a robot to that planet." "It is made to appear identical to the people who made the invention." ""Now we will show you some photographs of unidentified flying objects."" "These photos drive me crazy;" "you're not eating your soup!" ""...on a family trip to the Coca De Pabla Mountains."" "As you recall dear viewers, in a recent show, we told you about a rocket, built in the courtyard of his house by a provincial professor." "This strange construction, was the subject of controversial discussion." "Last night a fire destroyed the rocket;" "we visited the disaster scene." "Here's some of last night's footage." "The Professor was rushed to hospital." "Following information we've received, his health is out of danger." "The Professor said after this he will... the condition... of his rocket..." "Is the boy going to school?" "He learns well, he wants to become a cosmonaut." " Do you know the rocket professor?" " The Professor, eh?" "Hey!" " It's his teacher, tell him." " Have you seen the rocket?" " Yes." " You flew in it?" " How can he fly, you see he's a kid?" "Has anyone flown in the rocket?" "How... could he fly in a rocket?" "What are you talking about?" "Has the Professor flown in it?" " A rocket is a rocket." " You can't build a rocket with scrap." "The rocket's a junkyard." "But it was a real rocket, I went inside." " What does this kid know?" " It's a toy, made from tin cans." "The Professor had specialist training?" " Yeah, he built it on his own." " His personal creation." " Unique!" " Let's be serious." "What fuel was used by the rocket?" "There was no fuel, and in my opinion, it wasn't like any rocket." "What does it look like?" "This is a mystery." "Maybe a new invention." "That's nonsense, it was good for an amusement park." "Let's be serious." "Too bad they burned it, it was very beautiful." " Unique!" " Why did they burn it?" " Why set it on fire?" " You start..." " Let me, Dear." " The professor was married?" " Are you serious?" " The world says..." " 'The world says'!" "If he wants to marry, he'd find a good woman, not Tapiru's girlfriend." "Miss Corina is one very respected lady." " One silly..." " Spoiled to be honest." " So I've heard." " Who's Tapiru?" " Tapiru burnt the rocket." " He caught her with the Professor." "He didn't catch her!" "We all know Mr. Tapiru." "The rocket could fly?" " Please, measure your words." " The rocket could fly?" "All men are alike." "The rocket could fly?" "Who could transform this toy?" " The rocket could fly?" " The rocket can fly..." " The rocket..." " If Tapiru awoke mornings, he'd go far." " The rocket..." " I was inside." "The rocket..." "Can I stay over the night?" "Victor!" "Lead the gentleman to room thirteen." " What's up dear?" " It's nothing, what could it be?" "Are you going to school tomorrow?" "I'll go, but my teacher is sick." "He's at home?" "No, he was taken to hospital by ambulance." " Can we see the rocket?" " It's in the yard, but it's demolished." " You saw him when he built it?" " I worked on it myself." " You?" " What was your work?" " I was responible for the screws." "Ah..." "When I found a screw, I took it to the Professor." "Where did you find screws?" "Occasionally, at the start I would unscrew them from trucks, and fences, until the Professor punished me." " But it didn't hurt, he's a good man." " The rocket was built from scrap?" "He was reconditioning the scrap." "It was like new." "You couldn't identify a tin can, a bike wheel, or something else." "It was a real rocket." " Have you flown in the rocket?" " No, we were to fly during the holiday." "What's a holiday?" "A holiday is when school ends." " Are you going to school tomorrow?" " Yes." "Good night." "'Holiday'." "Ho..." "li... day." "'Y, a, d, i, I, o, h'." "Unique!" "Mama." "The mister upstairs doesn't know what a holiday is." "He looks like he dropped from the moon." " 'You don't build a rocket with scrap'." " 'It was a...'" "'He learns well, he wants to become a cosmonaut.'" "'There was no fuel.'" " 'And in my opinion.' - 'It's a toy, made from tin cans.'" "'I was responsible for the screws.'" "'He teaches the kids well.'" "'Let's be serious.'" " 'The rocket...' - 'It was a real rocket'." "'Leave me alone.'" "'A rocket is a rocket'." "'This is a mystery;" "maybe a new invention.'" "'Nonsense!" "It was good for an amusement park'" "'A personal invention, unique.'" " 'To be serious...'" "'A holiday is when school ends.'" "Mm... an extraordinary man, very well prepared." "He often forgot that they are children, and kept them true academic conferences." "Do you believe me, Sir?" "Even I..." "Did not understand everything." "A very weird man." "I could say..." "An excellent professor, respected by everyone." "He had a hobby." "He was filming and photographing all of the day." "Weird." "Very weird." "He was not like an ordinary man." " You believe in extraterrestrials?" " I'm curious..." "They're robots, they look like us, and we can't distinguish them." "They talk and sing." "Because they have a computer instead of a brain." "Do you believe the Professor was... an extraterrestrial?" "I didn't say anything, but you know what people say, that even Leonardo Da Vinci was extraterrestrial." "But stayed here on Earth to teach us new things." "He wasn't punished by extraterrestrials because at their school, he was the most stupid student." "Do you believe that the Professor..." "All the things done by the Professor were... strange, very strange." "On one evening..." "Welcome, Director." "What brings you here?" "Eh, what are you saying?" "He tried to reconstruct the appearance of life in a large bowl with water." "Interesting, but I have another appointment." "One question." "The rocket could fly?" "I think the Professor was flying the rocket." "Wait, wait. kids." "Ask the Professor to do another hour of gymnastics." "Professor!" "The Director said to do another hour of gymnastics." "Very well." "Attention!" "He was flying?" "Every day." "With what fuel?" "Without fuel." "See that hole in the ceiling?" " That hole?" " An ink pot went through it." "Did you see any of this?" "I just assumed, since the ink pot went through the ceiling." "Did you see the ink pot going through the ceiling?" " No." "But it's not normal, since you can see the hole and the ink." "Maybe a student threw it." "Those were the Professor's words, to hide his invention." "Sometimes," "I am afraid of the Professor." "Move him to another school, Inspector!" "Please, Mister Inspector!" "Inspector?" "I don't understand." "With what kind of fuel does it function?" "With string." "How much did you give for this?" "Three coins, like these." "How many dollars does it cost?" "Miss?" "Is Mr. Tapiru home?" "You're Mr. Tapiru?" "Good evening." "Did you demolish... the rocket?" "That construction wasn't strengthened very well." "It could have fallen over the children anytime." "The rocket... was able to fly?" "Rocket?" "You call that bullshit a rocket?" "You see it fly?" "Are you crazy?" "No way." "If you want to know the truth, ask the others too." "The rocket was just for show." "To fly?" "It was constructed for... other purposes." "What was the Professor... doing inside..." " He was creating life?" " Just how?" "Have you seen him make fishes with legs?" "Fishes with legs?" "Sure." "I saw fishes with legs, and butterflies with hooves." "He also made a snail with hair on its chest." "I think you're kidding me!" "I'm interested in the Professor's work." "The story with the rocket is a lie." "I don't understand." "He made the rocket as bait for naive girls." "He fooled Corina with it." "Tell me please." "Please, turn it off." "Tape recorder?" "Japanese?" "It's empty on the inside." "What's the mechanism?" "The mechanism is so miniaturised, you can't see it with the naked eye." "At my password, 'ura', attack." "Now, split up." "I'm pretty angry by nature, and the Professor drove me out of my mind." "The tape's finished?" "No." "It functions with dried chromosomes." "You're from the police?" "No." "No investigation?" "No." "Then why, why did I tell this to you?" "Be calm." "Well, you can see that I'm calm!" "He's not calm." "We are calm." "We are calm, yes." "We take the coin from the pocket, we put it... and, if the screen shows two oranges and one lemon, we are rich." "Congratulations, you think that the rocket..." " The rocket..." " Maybe it was a prototype." "You make me yell, it's a bunch of scrap!" "Perhaps it's a flying saucer." "Nonsense, nonsense!" " Have you seen it fly?" " Take him, take him!" " I just want to know if it flies." " No more!" "Kid." "How was this professor?" "He was a good man, when he gave us a bad mark, he was sad." "But he wasn't guilty, we were." "He was like..." "Frankenstein?" "No." "He was a..." "Don Juan?" "No, he was a good man." "Tell more." "The Professor took us to museums, and showed us all kind of devices." "Do you know Miss Corina?" "Where can I find Miss Corina?" "Come on, stop faking, tell me about the rocket." "Let's go to Miss Corina." "Miss Corina?" "Good evening." "Do you love the Professor?" "No." "I mean yes." "Everybody loves the Professor." "Are you 'inloved' with Mr. Tapiru?" "I think I know what you're saying." "I loved this man." "Now everything is over." "He was unfair to the Professor." "Have you seen the rocket?" "It was like a dream." "Marble sarcophagus where the coffin of a young girl was found." "Garlands of flowers, ornamental objects that were found in the coffin." "Also there has been found:" "necklaces, combs, earrings, teaspoons, bottles... saucers, bracelets, slippers, jewelry boxes." "Objects that in the faith of the ancients, accompany the dead, on their way to other worlds." "I've heard that when the cosmonauts go into space, they take their toothbrushes, and shaving machines." "This fantastic snake, it is unique." "It shows very interesting features: a ram's head, human ears and hair, a feathered serpent body, and very interestingly, a lion's tail." "For the ancients, this was a god." "With that, our visit has ended." "Have you seen the rocket?" "It was..." "It was just an invention by the Professor." "Everything was made with love, and a lot of finesse." "It was able to fly?" "It could fly." "The Professor said it could fly for two milion years." "What kind of fuel?" "I don't know." "The Professor studies a lot." "He's a scholar." "He's interested in... flying saucers, or unidentified flying objects:" "'UFO'." "He always laughed when he read the newspaper." "His rocket was similar to a... flying saucer?" "I don't know." "It was, it was something, how can I tell you, it was... extraordinary." "The Professor, told me about his plan." "He said at his rocket launch, journalists... from the world over will be there, and it'll be broadcast live all over Earth." "And fly just like music?" "Of course." "Tell me." "And... after two million years..." "Could a man be born, just like this?" "In a large bowl of water?" "Don't you think the Professor's idea... is extraordinary?" "Good morning, my child, my dear child, you've grown up." "I'm your father." "You can see me, but I can't see you, because..." "I am dead, by two million years." "And now," "I'll teach you about life." "It's awful, the child should be afraid of his father's face?" "You know, the Professor always thought like a... scientist, like a man." "He had forgotten how important a mother's love is." "Mr. Professor stopped manufacturing people in space?" "Not at all." "The thing with the love wasn't set up, that's all." "The child had to develop under the guidance of a robot, run by a computer." "I... was thinking as a woman, as a mother." "I imagined the child alone in the rocket, without consolation." "Who's going to care for him if he's sick?" "I've always told the Professor; children don't grow up just with knowledge." "Look how many don't attend school and become like Tapiru." " Are you a musician?" " Not at all; is that what you see?" "Due to me, the Professor, introduced singing lessons into the computer." "'Do, re, mi, fa, sol, la, si, do'" "'Do, si, la, sol, fa, mi, re, do.'" " Very well, one more time." " Again?" "Here, you've... everything you need, you can command the entire rocket." "Look, you see?" "This is a computer." "I don't think you'll understand, but you've all the time in the world." "In these cards, more exactly, in this holes, you can find, all the wisdom of the twentieth century." "First let's start with 'ABC'." "'A'..." "And now the gymastics hour." "And... one, two, three, four." "One, two, three, four." "Breathing..." "Running... and..." "One, two, three, four." "One, two, three, four, one, two, three, four." "Lift your legs, lift your legs;" "one, two, three, four." "Breathing." "And now," "I will try to tell you a... story, that I'm sure you will like." "It's about the beginning of life on Planet Earth." "What you see here are images of the" "Paleozoic era, a period that lasted longer..." "A period that lasted..." "Meanwhile, some scientists have changed their minds." "Man is not a monkey!" "It's a separate species, at least for a time." "And now," "I'll show you, a short history." "This is my idea." "To plant a flower from the twentieth century, on a planet, in the universe." "Why are they missing pages?" "But why were there missing pages?" "The Professor informed the youngster born on the rocket, about the achievements of our century." "He hid one thing." "The ugly face of people." "He shred the pages of books, that showed poverty, misery." "From 'Romeo and Juliet' only the balcony scene remained, and from 'Hamlet', only the covers." "Can you imagine..." "The poor child, alone in the... cosmos, perfect and untainted, a free game for a scientific genius." "Who needs such perfection?" "Better to live among men with a purpose." "To know about this perfection, if it exists." "To help their peers to become better." "For us all to become better." "But the Professor, had his own ideas." "My dear, I imagine your joy, today you're twenty-one years old." "Happy birthday, son!" "You embody the most cherished things in science." "Now, you can discover, the 'philosopher's stone'." "I envy you... and I'm proud of you." "I have created a perfect man." "Look at your work!" "Done scientifically, scientifically educated," "I am perfect!" "I am a doctor," "I am an engineer," "I am an architect." "I have learned elegant manners." "But why?" "Why?" "Why, I've learnt to count, to count the days without sun." "When I'm awake, I'm rational." "But at night, did you ever think," "that I'd be dreaming?" "These dreams torment me." "There, in my dreams," "I bath in the clear water of the rivers, and I compete with the young and old." "And I pick, the same flower," "for the same girl." "Huh?" "Do robots have dreams?" "Come on, answer me, please!" "Please answer me!" "Have mercy, on a perfect man!" "I didn't understand your words, the microphones were jammed." "You screamed, you screamed, my dear." "Maybe you suffer, perhaps my experience is too hard on you." "I have a surprise for you." "Form program, seven, five, five, six, three, b, c." "You will make a trip to Earth." "See?" "In the cabin, there appears four screens." "On each screen, an image will be projected." "More fantasy?" " You think so?" " Yes." "Oh." "You'll write an article that's... extraordinary." "I would call it," "'Phoenix bird'." "What's an article?" "You're not a reporter?" " You're not from the newspaper?" " No." "Oh!" "I thought... you came to welcome the... rocket." "No, I am a robot." "Mm... who's not a robot these days?" "No," "I am a real robot." "I was sent from Neptune, to find new forms of energy on Earth." "Now it's your turn to tell stories." "And finally, what energy have you discovered?" "The rockets, fly with fuel, on known principles." "But the people, have an energy, that's... inexhaustible." "Humour... and fantasy." "Come on, this gentleman is starting to tell jokes!" "Our compliments to the neutron." "Thank you." "If I didn't have wires instead of a heart, I would fall in love with her." "Will you come to us again?" "In the holiday." "'Y, a, d, i, I, o, h.'" "Original Translation Unknown Revised By Kosmikino"