"[Radio:" "Pop Rock ]" "Donna, have you noticed that every time we do the-- [ Clears Throat ] what we just did... it is... always fun?" "." " Eric, you're so cute." " Ow." "Ow!" "Donna, I think by "cute" you mean... ruggedly handsome." "You read my mind, Eric." "Oh, yeah, that's the other thing." "Afterwe do... that-- [ Clears Throat ] thing..." "I don't really feel like an "Eric."" " Really?" "." " Uh, yeah." "I think I feel more like a "Stan."" "Or... a "Chuck."" "Or a-- a "Maverick."" "So, do you wanna go to a movie tomorrow, Maverick?" "." "Oh, uh, I told Kelso and Fez I'd hang out with them." "Really?" "." "Oh." "Hey, but, uh, you can come too, ifyou want." "No, it's okay." "Uh, really, you should come." "No." "You go." "Have fun." "Areyou sure?" "." "Sure." "It's no big deal." "Okay." "Cool." "Hangin'out" "Downthestreet" "Thesameoldthing" "Wedidlastweek" "Nota thingto do" "Buttalktoyou" "We'reallallright" "We'reallallright" "Hello, Wisconsin!" "[Radio:" "Disco]" "Swedish pancakes?" "." "What's the catch?" "." "Oh, no catch." "Eat 'em while they're hot." "There's plenty." " This is a real treat, Mrs. Forman." " Careful, Steven." "There's always a string attached to Swedish pancakes." "Trust me." "Mom, you only make Swedish pancakes... when something horrible's about to happen." "Does someone have cancer?" "." "No, no one has horrible cancer." "[ Laughs ]" "Now, let's just sit down as a family... and enjoy our special pancakes." "Gotcha!" "[ Laughs ]" " We're all going to the nursing home to visit Aunt Pearl." " [ All Groaning ]" " Isn't she dead yet?" "." " Laurie!" "Well, I mean, she is old, so... maybe we should call ahead." "Red, can you believe this family?" "." "Well, the Bucks are playing the Celtics" "Oh, come on!" "All I'm asking is for a quickvisit." "Quick, quick, quick." "Say, kids, how about a nice trip to old Aunt Pearl's?" "." " [ Groans ] - [ Groans ]" " Hey!" " Thankyou, Red." "I don't have to go, do I?" "." "I've already been to see her three times this year." "[ Scoffs ] Yeah." "And I'm a virgin." "  [Psychedelic Rock]" " God, I miss Jackie." "I can't sleep." "I can't think." "I can still eat, but" "I mean, my life has no meaning." "I'm dead inside." "Oh, so that's what smells." "Yeah, Mr. Broken Heart" "When was the last time you took a bath, man?" "." "You're gettin' gamy." "Man, I am so glad Donna's notJackie." "But I'll tell you what-- I'm even more glad I'm notyou." "[ Laughs ] No offense." "I gotta win Jackie back." "I got it!" "I'll write her a song!" "Maybe the best way to getJackie back... is to let her date other people-- foreign exchange people." "No, man, I think a song is a really great idea." "How about this one:" "You don't love me anymore" "You caught me cheatin' with a whore" "See?" ". 'Cause Laurie's the whore." "You get it?" "." "Yeah." "My sister is such a whore." "[ Sniffling ]" "Yeah, I'm gonna writeJackie a song." "I gotta win her back... 'cause I can't stop the tears, man!" "[Sobbing Continues ]" "Kelso, we've been over this." "There is no crying in the circle." "And then Eric says, "You can come ifiyou want."" ""Ifyou want?"" "Ouch." "Right?" "." "I don't know." "I think he's sorta taking me for granted." "I don't know." "Maybe I'm just overreacting." "No, Donna." "You're underreacting." "All men take all women for granted... all the time." "Jackie" "Saveyourselfthe heartache, Donna." "Break up with Eric now, before it's too late." "[ Gasps ] Then we can be single girls together." "Ooh!" "We could take a cruise!" "I don't know." "I'm just worried." "I mean, ifhe's acting like this now... imagine what he'll be like ifwe get, like... married or something." "[Piano: "Those Were The Days"]" "Gloria, I just looked at her!" "She was giving me change!" "No, Michael." "It wasn't a look." "It was a look." "Oh, my!" "Please don't fight." "Your fatherwill be home any minute." "Wow, Ma." "You're all dressed up." "Oh, yeah!" "Your father's taking me out tonight." "Well, good foryou, Ma." "You deserve a night out." "Well, ho-ho-ho and whoop-de-do." "I'm home." "Oh, hi, Archie!" "Ah, geez, Edith, no time for the kisses there." "The fight's about to start." "But, Daddy, you told Ma you were taking her out tonight." "That's true, Arch." "Shut up, you meathead you!" "Ifyou ask my opinion, maybeyou just forgot." "Ah, geez, Edith, I didn't forget nothin' there." "So get me a beer and stifle there." "Oh, my!" "[Piano:" ThoseWereTheDays"]" "Oh, my God,Jackie." "What am I gonna do?" "." "I don't know, Donna." "I just don't know." "Oh, hi, Mr. Forman." "Go talk on your own damn porch!" "So, you been playin' much bingo, Pearl?" "." "Oh, for God's sakes, Kitty!" "I ateyour damn pudding." "So go!" "Laurie, say something nice." "Fine." ""Something nice."" "That's my magazine!" "Nobody needs to see that." "[Pearl] Get out!" "  [Pop Rock]" " You know, it's weird... but I thought after me and Michael broke up..." "I wouldn't wanna hang out here anymore." "Yep." "That's what we were hopin'." "But I think ifl left, you'd really miss me." " Right?" "." " [ Clears Throat ]" "I, uh" " I suppose... that, um, you know, it's important... when you have a bad breakup... that you find friends to, uh-- uh, sympathetic... uh, stuff" "um, support and, uh" "I don't know." "Right." "So, let's go to the mall." "No, I meant friends like Donna." "Or... not me." "But I noticeyou're alone a lot." "And I'm alone a lot." "So let's be alone together." "Look!" "We're alone right now!" "That's not really a very good reason for us to" "Wait." "Let's go to Sizzler." "They've got a salad bar." "It's all you can eat." "Plus five different colors ofJell-O." "I'll buy." "You've been through a rough time." "Let's go, kid." ""A Song forJackie" by Michael Kelso." "You may think this song is stupid" "SoI madeacallto" "Cupid" "Andhetoldmetoputmyheartout" "Onmysleeve" "Sowecanretrieve" "Ourlovefromthe" "Trash, trash, trash" "So, what doyou think?" "." "Well, I think that... you should draw her a picture." "Hey, pal, you thinkyou're funny?" "." "Well,just wait, 'cause someday Donna's gonna crush your stupid little heart too." "Yeah, see, I don't think so... because I've taken special precautions to prevent that very thing from happening." "Uh, like for instance, I... don't sleep with otherwomen." "Yeah?" "." "Well... that's only 'causeyou're chicken." "Hey!" "Hey, baby." "What say you grab Papa a root beer, huh?" "." "Oh, my God." "I cannot look." "Listen, you worm." "I am not your slave or a waitress oryour damn maid." "Don't get Archie Bunker-y on me, or I will kickyour ass to the moon!" "Hey, Eric, what rhymes with "Donna"?" "." "[DissonantChord]" "Ididn'tmeantocheat but she forced me" "Shedownrightcoercedme" "Hey, that's kinda good." "Man..." "I just asked her for a root beer." "You tried to control her, Eric, and the woman always controls the man." " That's true." " Donna does not control me!" "Oh, Eric, you have so much to learn, my friend." "Yeah." "I wish Jackie was still controlling me." "I love being on the short leash." "Puttheshortleash" "Backonme" "Kelso, uh, let me see that for a second." "Yeah." "You know what's kinda funny?" "." "That was your guitar." "Burn!" "[ Laughing ]" "Hyde, those boots look really nice on you." "You know,Jackie, you buying me boots is just wrong." "You shoulda let me shoplift 'em." "No, Hyde, I want you to have them." "Besides, I'm saving a fortune now that I don't have to feed and clothe Michael." " Well, ifyou insist." " I do." "So, I was thinking, tomorrow night we should" "[ Laughing ] Whoa, okay!" "All right, come on, now,Jackie." "This was a one-time-only thing." "All right?" "." "Ifyou're trying to bribe me with these boots, you can just take 'em back." "I see." "Oh, what areyou gonna do now?" "." "Cry?" "." "Oh, man." "You're crying." "Hey,Jackie." "Come on, man." "It's gonna be fine." "Okay?" "." "You're gonna be fine." "This whole thing is gonna be fine." "All right?" "." "No!" "Bad Jackie!" "B-But, Hyde, I thought we agreed thatyou were alone, and I was alone" "Jackie, I'm trying to helpyou out here, so just listen to me." "You gotta realize thatyou can do better than Kelso." "But what ifl never find anybody else?" "." "You will, man." "You'll find somebody great." "See, I myself don't likeyou." "I find you abrasive." "But ifl didn't knowyou, and I had never talked toyou..." "I'd thinkyou were totally hot." "Thankyou, Hyde." "Anything foryou, doll." "Pearl, honey, please come out." "[TV:" "Organ,CrowdCheering]" "Laurie, she kinda likes you." "Do something." "Aunt Pearl!" "Why don't you come out, and you can show me your damn scrapbooks again?" "." "Every timeyou people come, I gotta get dressed and put my teeth in." "You're not worth it!" "So get lost!" "Now can we go?" "." " No. [ Clears Throat ] - [ Sighs ]" "Okay, fine." "I give up." "Let's just go." "I just hope when I get old someone comes to visit me." "Don't be ridiculous, Mom." "Eric'll come." " Well, I'm gonna go warm the car up." " No, Laurie." "This is important toyour mother." "So sit down." "Come on, Pearl!" "There's a Bucks game on!" "The Bucks, huh?" "." "[ Squeals ]" "[ TV:" "Crowd Cheering ]" "Well, now, see?" "." "This is nice." "The only thing that keeps me alive is watching the Bucks lose." "[ Blows Raspberry]" "Go, Bucks." "Michael, I don't wanna talk toyou!" "No, you're right." "Okay?" "." "Because words don't do it." "That's why I wrote this song." "Oh, God." "[OutOfTune]" "Jackie, please take me" "Back-ee" "I'llget" "The knack, see" "Okay, Michael, stop!" "Michael, stop." "Yes, please, Kelso, stop." "I cannot take this anymore." "This is howyou serenade a woman." "[ Clears Throat ]" "Bésame" "Bésamemucho" "Comosifiueraestanoche" "Laúltimavez" "What are you doing?" "." "Yeah." "What are you doing?" "." "Um, this is my school song from back home." "I don't love you." "Hey." "What's going on?" "." "Nothing." "Nothing at all." "Thankyou, Hyde, for tonight." "It was very special." "[DoorOpens, Closes ]" " [ Yelps ]" " Hyde!" "Isn't she nice?" "." "Hey, fellas." "You like my new boots?" "." "Then, Eric says to Donna..." ""I cannot go out with you because I'm going out with the guys."" "[ Laughing ] Oh, geez!" "What?" "." "I don't think that's the problem." "No." "What's-his-name's right." "That's the problem." "I don't think I did anything wrong." " I'm not gonna apologize to Donna." " Oh, yeah?" "." "[ Both Laughing ]" "What?" "." "Why?" "." "Here's the thing." "You're assuming thatyou're good enough for Donna." "And you're not." " Yes, I am." " No, you're not." "Just like I'm not good enough foryour mother." " Okay, well" "Yeah, that's true." " Watch it." "I'm trying to helpyou out here." " I'm sorry." "Yes, sir." "Look, doyou really think I wanted to spend the whole damn day... sitting in a room with a woman who hates the Bucks and smells like cabbage?" "." "Well, I didn't." "But that's the priceyou pay, Son." "Now, you go call Donna... before she realizes how much better off she is withoutyou." "Go on, now." "Go!" "Go!" "You heard him!" "Go!" "But what about" "Blah, blah, blah." "Make the call, little man." "Listen, Donna" "No, wait." "I've been thinking about..." "you know, what happened... and I realize I may have overreacted." "It's just I'm a little vulnerable... now that our relationship has... matured." "Donna, no apology necessary." "I welcomeyour insane behavior and criticism." "Don't be a jerk, Eric." "No, no, uh-- [ Clears Throat ]" "I'm actually-- I'm being serious." "I'm willing to do... whatever it takes for us to be together." "Whatever it takes... it's worth it." "Well... thankyou." "So, uh-- [ Clears Throat ] for future reference... do I have to askyou, uh, before I go out with my friends?" "." "No." "Uh... yes." "Sometimes." "So, uh, how will I know which times?" "." "Well, you'll know afterwards, when I get mad." " Okay." " Yeah." "Uh, is there, uh, maybe a better system than that?" "." "No." "I can't really think of one, no." " Okay." "Fair enough." " Okay." "I'm really sorry." "Me too." "So, uh, I blew offthe guys tonight... to hang out with you." "So my calendar is wide open." "I'm" " I'm here foryou, Donna." "Oh, that's too bad." "I'm hanging out with Jackie." "Butyou can come ifyou want." "[ Chuckles ]" "That's... really not funny." "[ TV:" "Crowd Cheering ]" "[ Sighs ]" " So, Aunt Pearl" " Shh!" "[ TV:" "Cheering Intensifies ]" " I was wondering if" " Shh!" "Okay."