"Previously on Ugly Betty..." "What was your first impression of me ?" " What is is?" " A tracking device." "I will know where you are every minute of every day." "I can't..." "spend time with you and your girlfriend." "What does that make us?" "Two people who work in the same building." "Your family is falling apart." "Do you realize that?" "My family is coming together." "He said if I went throug with the surgery, I'd lose everything." "He said he'd rather I were dead." "You're here because of me, because of what I did." "I'm turning myself in." "I'm reporting live outside of Meade Publications, where Bradford Meade is expected to return to work tomorrow after his release from prison." "Arrested for the murder of Fey Sommers, all charges against him were dropped after his wife, Claire Meade, turned herself in to authorities late last night." "And now let's get some reactions from some of the employees." "Uh, excuse me, miss." "Miss" "No comment." "No comment!" "Ow." "No comment." "No comment!" "Ow." "Ow." "Ow." "Ow." " Ow." " Hilda." " Justin!" " I'm sorry." "It just gets funnier every time." "Would you just go get ready for school, please?" "Fine." "So how you doing, anyway?" "And don't say "no comment."" "I don't know." "Ever since Ms. Meade's arrest, I just can't help but feel guilty." "I was the one who talked her into turning herself in." "Hey, you didn't talk her into anything." "She did what she felt she had to do." "How's Daniel handling this?" "He and Alexis aren't speaking." "Alexis and his father aren't speaking, an his mother is in the hospital being detoxed before she can be arraigned." "You see?" "It really makes you appreciate coming from a nice, normal family." "Papi, what part of "house arrest" don't you understand?" "I just went out 2 feet to get the paper." "I think that's for you." "Yes, Constance." "I just stepped out my front door." "I wasn't fleeing the country." "Okay, okay." "I'm back inside now." "Happy?" "Dad, it's only four more weeks till your court date." "I can't live like a prisoner for four more weeks!" "I'm going stir crazy in here!" "I'm starting not to remember the--the feel of rain, the smell of freshly mowed grass." "Papi, we live in Jackson Heights." "The grass smells like fried onions." "I got the message, and I'll definitely be there at 9:00 on the dot." "I waited an hour and a half to do that." "I just..." "I came to get my things before..." "I'll come back later." "No, no, no." "We still haven't had our beautiful father-son reconciliation." "Last time I saw you, things were so rushed, what with you having me arrested and all." "So... this is the life you wanted so badly." "Actually, in the life I wanted, you were behind bars." "And in the life I wanted, you were still a man." "You remember making me this?" "You were 6." "After you disappeared," "I'd look at it to remind myself of the son that I'd lost." "Now it reminds me of the son I wish I'd never had." "You and I... we're finished." "We were finished a long time ago." "Hey, I've been looking for you." "Look what I just scored." "New Prada store's opening tonight, and Steve Aoki's deejaying." "Meet up for drinks beforehand?" "Oh, I can't." "I have plans." " Who is he?" " My mother." "She's in town for another one of her stupid cat shows." "It's disgusting--her and a bunch of fancy pussycats." "Well, don't worry." "I'll skip Prada." "Your girlfriend is reporting for duty." "So where are the three of us going to dinner?" "Actually, you're not coming." "What?" "But it's your mother." "I'm the love of your life, remember?" "You are officially released from beard duty." "Consider yourself shaved." "Wait, what are you saying?" "Did you actually tell your mother that you are a ho" "No." "It's just..." "I've been telling her you were my girlfriend for a few years now and... she's starting to pressure me to buy the cow." "So you're saying we're over..." "and I'm fat?" "No, just over." "Just like that?" "Sweetie, it's not you." "It's me." "Oh, you are damn right that it's you." "I am the best pretend girlfriend you'll ever have." "Mandy..." "We'll always have that fake pregnancy scare." "Oh, that was a real scare, you idiot." "It just wasn't yours." "How are you feeling?" "Well, I've had better mondays... and better jewelry." "The shakes haven't started yet, but... the sweating and the nightmares are a delight." "Oh, and they say I should be moving to the prison by the end of the week." "You should have let me stay in there." "I'm scared." "I'm here for you." "I hope you still are" " after..." " After what?" "Hey." "How are you feeling?" "I've been talking with the new lawyers, and they seem to think if we go with insanity" "That's not why I called you here." "What's going on?" "Your father tried to fire Alexis today." "Tried?" "I did." "But you can't." "She's your child, and she's your sister." "Now I'm probably going away for a very long time, and I want you all to be a family." "I don't think Alex wants to be part of any family, mom." "Alexis, and she'll never be part of a family if you keep pushing her away," "which is why I've convinced her to help you run "Mode."" " Is she on morphine?" " I wish." "Don't be ridiculous, Claire." "I decide who works for my companies." "I own "Mode."" "Actually, dear, you own Meade Publications." "Apparently you've forgotten..." "I own "Mode."" "Your mother owns this magazine?" "Since when?" "Since my dad needed a tax shelter, and he put it in her name." "So now she insists Alex and be co-editors-in-chief." "There's not anything anyone can do about it." "Maybe that's not such a bad thing." "I mean, you and Alexis can get to know each other again." "And now you only have to do half the work." "Half?" "Betty, there's no half with Alex." "You put us side by side in anything, doesn't matter what, she always has to win." "Even when we went jogging every morning." "It would be all great, but then, at the very end, every time, he always had to pull ahead, just to remind me he could." "Yes!" "Daniel, you've done a great job running this magazine for the last six months." "I know you can win this race." "It's like the tortoise and the hare" "Okay, okay." "I'm gonna figure it out." "You can cross my pep talk off your list today." "There will be more." "So both of you are editors-in-chief." "Alexis is an editor-in-chief." "Daniel is an editor-in-chief." "Seems like practically everyone in the room is an editor-in-chief... except for me." "And me." "Okay." "Here's how we're gonna split up responsibilities." "Obviously, Wilhelmina, you are still creative director." "I'll continue to write the letter from the editor and have final say on the book." "Wow." "Look at the big man in charge." "Somebody has to be." "Not all of us have time to fake our own death, disappear for two years." "Oh, god." "Are you still singing that old song?" "Daniel, you can be the boss of everything for all I care." "I don't want anything to do with you, dad or this magazine." "Really?" "'Cause that's not what you told mom, is it?" "Just stop, Daniel." "I'm done." "Have fun with your little magazine." "I for one have much bigger dreams." "Like what?" "A uterus?" "You can say it, but can you spell it?" "Do I need to be in this meeting?" "This meeting's over." "Well, they really did take your balls away with that operation, didn't they?" " Excuse me?" " What is wrong with you?" "You're giving Bradford exactly what he wants." "He won." "Game over." "Not necessarily." "Bradford doesn't want you anywhere near this magazine, right?" "So splash yourself all over it." "Your father will die of shame." "He wouldn't die." "A stroke, maybe." "Alexis, make "Mode" your own." "You approve the book." "You write the letter from the editor." "Show the industry and your father just who's in charge." "You mean take it away from Daniel?" "Do you care?" "Not really." "Ah, well." "If you really wanna do this job, you should have an appropriate office... like this one." "This is our new office?" "It has fluorescent lighting." "I will not be looked at under this merciless glare." "Oh, patience, Blanche." "It's only temporary." "The minute Daniel sees her as a real threat, they'll be at each other's throats, and then I'll have my pick of any office I want." "Oh, thank god." "You have a new plan." "We shall overcome, girlfriend." "You did not just say that." "Oh, my god." "Mommy... in the building." "Hello, Amanda." "Hi, mama Weiner." "Dear, I hate to be rude, but now that you've broken my little Marc's heart with--shall we say, your indiscretions" "I think you should go back to Mrs. Weiner." "Indiscretions?" "Marc told me about the other men... and women." "Drug addiction makes you do strange things." "But Marc says you're working on that." "One day at a time." "Really?" "Marc told you all of that, did he?" "Mom!" "There's my Marc-y boy!" "Hi!" "I thought you were going to the cat show, and then we were going to dinner." "Sweetie, I had a cat-tastrophe." "Lady Buttons of Camelot lost a jewel on her collar." "That's a 10-point penalty for appearance." "Can you have one of your fashion people here fix it?" "Oh, of course." "Um, fashion person." "Help!" "I would be happy to." "I just hope my drug and sex addictions don't get in the way." "Oh, mom... why don't you go down to the cafeteria and get some lunch, and I'll bring the collar to you?" "Wait, Marc." "Aren't you gonna introduce your mom to your new lady love?" "The one in whose bosom you found comfort after dating a skank like me?" "You're dating someone new?" "Oh, look, and here she is." "This is Marc's new girlfriend, Betty." "Girlfriend?" "That's a good one, Amanda." "Well, what's so funny?" "Well, you know, 'cause Marc's" "Transcript :" "Raceman" "Subtitles :" "Willow's Team" "You haven't told your mom you're gay?" "I mean, isn't it a little..." "I don't know, I--just-- just that you're so... sparkly!" "She visits twice a year." "She sees what she wants to see." "I can't believe I'm asking you is." "I need your help." "You need my help?" "The girl you've tortured for the last six months?" "I think "tortured" is a little severe." "Well, my second day here, you tricked me into eating glue by telling me it was white chocolate." "No!" "I could've died." "Oh, I only let you eat two pieces." "Come on, Betty!" "It would really mean a lot to my mother." "I think Lady Buttons of Camelot has a real shot in the progression ring today." "Look at her." "She's having a really good fur day." "Okay, I'm not dating your kid anymore, so I don't have to listen to all the cat chat." "Marc's right." "You are cranky when you don't get your fix." "Oh, look at this." "It's Betty's papi." "You should really talk to him." "Won't Betty mind?" "She hasn't found the right time to even tell her father she's dating Marc." "You could really help them out." "Hi." "This is Jean Weiner." "All you have to do is come stand next to me for two minutes and let me tell my mom that we're... dating." "It's crazy." "She would never even believe us." "Okay, okay, okay." "If you do this for me," "I'll give you information that'll help save your boss' job." "What?" "Why?" "What do you know?" "You help me first." "So how's the happy couple?" "Oh, laugh, clown, laugh." "But I am showing everyone copies of your "modeling" photos." "Okay, those were tasteful, and he told me he loved me." "Besides, you're not gonna have time to show anyone anything." "Your mom just talked to Betty's dad." "She what?" "And you're all having dinner tonight at the casa de Suarez." "Ta!" "This better be some good information, Marc." "You're ruining meat loaf night." "Wait." "What?" "Alexis wants to take over the company and push you out." "That's what Marc said." "Is Alex in his office?" "Yes, she is." "Why would Marc tell you something like that?" "Didn't he make you eat glue?" "Yeah, that was before." "I'm his girlfriend now." "His what?" "The things I do for you." "Daniel Meade." "Nick Pepper, Ms. Meade's new assistant." "I have been following your career since I graduated from Cornell." "I wanna be you in five years." "Buy more expensive ties... sleep with a few models-- you're halfway there, buddy." "Yes!" "So... new office." "New assistant." "That what you mean by "I don't want a thing to do with this magazine"?" "Oh, calm down, Daniel." "I've been thinking about what you said and..." "I just can't lie to mom again." "So if us working together makes her happy, then I think we should give it a try." "I'll even follow your lead." "And Lucy's actually gonna let Charlie Brown kick the football this time, right?" "You're not fooling me, Alexis." "I'm not the kid brother you used to push around." "And I'm not your big brother anymore, clearly." "Look, can we not make this about us?" "This is about mom." "If I agree, that wouldn't mean I'm working for you." "Understood?" "I know. 50-50." "You want me to inkie-swear?" "Okay, so what can I do?" "Well, this issue is pretty much put to bed, so..." "I haven't written a letter from the editor yet." "Maybe you can write one, too." "I'll print 'em side by side." "How about that?" "Side by side?" "Yes, Alex." "It's called sharing." "You mean like Katie Meyers?" "Uh, that wasn't so much sharing as you stealing my girlfriend." "Okay." "Bad example." "I need 400 words by tomorrow morning." "We take the book to press by noon." "Nick!" "Cancel your paintball game or whatever it is you do after work." "We've got a lot to do if we're gonna get this to the printer's by midnight." "Didn't Daniel say "noon"?" "Daniel also thinks I'm gonna be sharing this job 50-50." "You're not?" "Honey, I didn't share Katie Meyers, and I'm not gonna share this magazine." "There's my issue, and there's Daniel's." "And Daniel's is never gonna see the light of day." "Dude, you're awesome." "Dude, you haven't seen anything yet." "Okay, we gotta focus." "We gotta sit through an entire dinner with my mother." "We have to know everything there is to know about each other." "Now you're from the Philippines, right?" "Queens." "Don't give me that look." "They both end in "eens."" "Okay, so, we met when I made a bet with my friends that I could turn you from an ugly duckling into a beautiful swan." "Marc, that's "she's all that."" "No, in that movie, she actually became beautiful." "I feel in love with you because of that whole inner beauty crap." "Okay." "Let's move to the flash cards." "I hope you studied." "What's my favorite boy band?" " 'Nsync." " Ding." "What's my favorite musical?"" " "High school musical"!" " Ding!" "Where do I get my mystic tan?" " Sunset tan on 48th!" " Ding!" "Ding!" "Ding!" "Marc, are these really the answers that are gonna convince your mother you're straight?" "Uh, straight guys mystic tan." "Hello?" "Tom Cruise." "Okay, now you go." " Who's Justin?" " Uh, uh, pass." "He's my nephew." "You've met him." "Pass!" "Pass!" "I'll never remember that." "Go." "Next." " How old am I?" " 32." " 22." " Really?" "Yes!" "Thank you for that." " My favorite flowers?" " Uh... pink gerber daisies." "Henry!" "Hi." "Just dropping off paychecks." "How have you been?" "Good." "Good." "How's Charlie?" "Good." "She's good." "Okay!" "Okay, Betty." "We gotta finish this." "Um, uh, okay." "Uh, favorite pizza toppings?" "Goat cheese and capers!" "Pepperoni and mushroom." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Whose girlfriend is she?" "Beat it!" "I'm sorry." "I'm just helping him with something." "Well, it was nice seeing you." "Yeah." " Uh, favorite Disney princess?" " Oh, Mulan." "Cinderella." "Her mother always read that to her before bed." "Okay, I think you've got it." "Now print up those proofs and get 'em to graphics A.S.A.P." "We have a midnight deadline, people." "Come on, let's move!" "I see someone's enjoying her new role." "Love what you did with the office." "And I read your letter for the magazine--brilliant." "A scathing indictment of dear old dad." "And you're looking at the new cover." "Think daddy'll like it?" "He is a breast man." "Just don't know whether he'll like them on his son." "Perfect." "Is it, uh, safe to assume that Daniel is not aware of any of this?" "Oh, please." "Daniel's clueless." "He won't even know this is happening until the issue hits the stands." "Now I have to go change my clothes." "I have a million things to do before tonight." "It's almost scary how easy this is." "You are evil." "I'm so going as you for Halloween!" "I read your letter from the editor." "And?" "It's good." "Your voice got all high, like when I ask you to stay late and you say, "I don't mind."" "No." "No, it's--it's a good letter." "It's just--it's about shoes." "And this is a fashion magazine, right?" "But this isn't just any issue of "Mode."" "I mean, with everything that's been going on with your family, people are gonna be looking to this as your public statement." "Don't you think you should write something a little bit more... personal?" " Maybe you could" " I can't." "Is it too painful?" "No, I-I mean, literally, I-I can't." "I..." "I don't know how to write a letter like that." "Daniel, I read your letter every month." "It's always funny and smart and..." "It's one of the things that makes you such an amazing editor." "I don't exactly write those letters." "You know Jeremy from features?" "He kind of writes them, and I just-- I sign my name to them." "That's dishonest." "How is your boyfriend Marc doing?" "Point taken." "I am not a writer, Betty." "I can't do this." "I'm barely an editor." "Daniel, you get a magazine out every month, and you do an amazing job." "And you'll do an amazing job on this letter, too." "You just have to write from the heart." "I mean, you really want your letter to be about how the pilgrim buckle is back?" "Well, it is." "You can do this." "There's my little enchilada." "Sorry we're late." "Oh, it's not a problem..." "uh, baby." "It's my fault." "The cat was acting up." "I couldn't leave her in the hotel." "Oh." "Uh, how did miss Lady Buttons of Camelot do in the show today?" "Last place." "I stripped away her title." "Her name's just Buttons now." "Okay." "Well, let's just sit down real fast, eat that dinner, and we'll be out of here." " Hey, Mr. Suarez." " Call me Papi." "Too much?" " This is my mom, Jean Weiner." " Hi." "Yes, we--we talked on the phone." "I love your home." "It's so... festivo." "There they are!" "Hello!" "Hi!" "I'm Hilda, Betty's sister." "Can you believe these two crazy kids?" "So in love!" " Uh, let me take your things." " Oh, oh, thank you." "What is she doing here?" "She wouldn't miss this for the world." "She lives here." ""She lives here."" "Taquito, remember that time we drove upstate to look at the leaves?" "Oh, yes!" "And we listened to 'Nsync the whole way up, because that's Marc's favorite band, and I know that because I'm his boyfriend" "I mean, he's my girlfriend!" "I mean..." "So, Ms. Weiner, tell us, how did you get started in cat shows?" "Oh, well, it was just fun at first." "I had a hairless sphynx named Mr. Meowington who I entered in a local pageant." "Uh, for his talent competition, he flushed a toilet." "See?" "Even a cat can remember to do it." "Betty, you remind me of someone." "You have the same sense of humor as Marc's old roommate Chuck." "Honey, do you ever see Chuck?" "I don't wanna talk about him." "Uh, we just..." "sort of lost touch." "Oh, he was so handsome." "And they were so close." "We weren't that close." "Uh, we were just poker buddies." "I'm guessing a lot of hold'em." "So how long have you two been going out?" " Three months." " Six months." "I mean six months." "It has been six months." "It just feels like three months." "Our first date we watched "High School Musical,"" "because that's Marc's favorite musical, and I know that." "Would you guys excuse us for just a minute?" "Treasure?" " Can I see you up in my room?" " Oh, yeah." "Hey, hey." "Keep that door open." "So this is where the tragic happens." "Marc, we can't do this anymore." "Marc!" "We are not convincing anybody." "I keep waiting for Mr. Roper to show up." "You agreed to this." "I helped you with Daniel." "You're a grown man." "Tell her the truth." " She might surprise you." " Are you kidding?" "Look what happened with Lady Buttons, and that was just over a stupid ribbon." "No, no." "I'm her child, her favorite." "I can't disappoint her." "Come on, come on." "How do you tell someone after ten years that none of it's been real?" "If I tell her the truth now, then we've got nothing." "Well, what do you have now?" "Two visits and Christmas?" "That's not a relationship." "It's too late." "No, it's not." "Marc, you have a mother, and she is downstairs." "And you still have a chance to make her a part of your life." "Do you know what I would give for that?" "My family's not your family, okay?" "So let's turn that moustache upside down, go downstairs and finish dinner..." "and then we'll be out of here." "Okay, but let's bring it back down to a man's voice." "Hi, aunt Betty." "Hi, uncle Marc." "What's your son doing here?" "Nephew." "Sorry." "Justin was supposed to be having dinner with his father." "But don't worry." "I had a little chat with him." "He's on board." "Ew." "Dad tried to take me out for fast food." "Chicken nuggets are 15 points." "It's almost bathing suit season!" "Would you just help me clear the plates?" "So, Hilda, you're a single mom?" "That must be hard." "How long ago did you and your husband split?" "Oh, we were never actually married." "You know, prom night, condom breaks, long story." "Actually not." "That's pretty much it." "Well, that's a lot of information." "Hey, I'll get that." "Hey, Betty, look what I silk-screened at a class today." "Ooh, is that some celebrity?" "No, uh..." "Are you kidding?" "She totally is." "Claire Meade-- she murdered Fey Sommers, but she was completely justified." "It was a crime of passion, and I will not rest until that woman is free." "I'm starting a petition at school tomorrow." "What a pretty kitty." "Can I pet her?" "He's starting a petition to help out a murderer?" "They're going with insanity." "Really, it just helps Justin focus his anxiety." "He's still pretty upset about the "Dreamgirls"... best picture snub." ""Babel"?" "What's "Babel"?" "Oh, my god, I know. "Dreamgirls" was a cinematic achievement... and, uh... whew." "How 'bout the boobs on that Beyoncé, huh?" "Papi, I can't get the lid off the trash can." "Ooh, the cat!" "It's going for the door!" "Dad!" " I got it!" "I got it!" " Wait, papi, you can't go out!" "Oh!" "Oh, Buttons." "What is that noise?" " Grandpa's under house arrest." " Yes, Constance." " Did he murder someone, too?" " No!" "No, he's not a criminal." " He's an illegal immigrant." " We don't tell people that!" "Are you sure you want to get involved with this family?" "What's he doing here?" "Daniel." "Who's Daniel?" "He's..." "Betty's ex-boyfriend." "What?" "I can't play, too?" "Thank you." "Oh, Claire." "How did you get in here?" "Only family is permitted." "I'm your incredibly tan sister." "Let me look at you." "Oh, you poor thing." "And handcuffs?" "I have committed a crime." "Not letting a woman have her makeup bag-- now that's a crime." "What do you want, Wilhelmina?" "I came out of great concern for your children." "Things are not going well with Daniel and Alexis, and I fear they'll soon destroy the magazine... and each other." "Much better." "So I thought if there's a way to salvage what's left... if there were someone who could, um, supervise, perhaps mediate." "And I suppose that person would be you?" "I practically ran the magazine when Daniel was in charge." "It's that I--I have no authority in my current position." "And you want me to do something about that?" "Well, I don't know what, except maybe have your attorneys draw up some contracts." " I believe the phrase is, um-- - "Power of attorney"?" "Yeah, something like that." "It would be a way for me to rightfully protect them." "After all, I am a mother, too." "You're telling me." "Cut the act, Wilhelmina." "I'm not Bradford or one of those other suits in that office who can get taken in by your collagen smile and your plastic ass." "I see." "Well... perhaps I can offer you something that might change your mind." "I know you're drying out and all, but... one little sip couldn't hurt, could it?" "I bet this would make those icechips taste so much better." "You actually think that I would sell out my children for a lousy drink?" "Maybe not one, but after four or five, you've been known to do a lot worse." "You listen to me, Wilhelmina, and you listen good." "I know who you are, and you are not getting your hands on this company." "That slut Fey Sommers may have become editor-in-chief by going after my husband, but from now on, the only person running this magazine will be a Meade." "Well... sorry you feel that way, Claire." "Perhaps I can offer this to you with my humblest apologies." "Oh, darn." "You can't reach that, can you?" "Oops." "Look at the time." "I gotta run." "Sorry, dear." "So did he pop the question yet?" "Stop." "It's not funny." "I had to kiss him, and he wears lip gloss." "All right." "So I finished the letter." "Just wanted you to read it." "I think it turned out pretty well." ""He ain't heavy, she's my brother."" "So if you can proof it, e-mail it to Alexis, she can put it in the book." "It just has to beat the printer's by tomorrow morning." "You know, you could've just e-mailed this to me." "Yeah, but I-I wanted to see the look on your face when you're not disappointed in me." "Could you please come in here?" "My mother's lost an earring and is convinced that your father has stolen it." "Could you give us a minute?" "The honeymoon is definitely over." "As much as fun as I make of all your pep talks, they actually kind of make me feel... peppy." "What are you doing?" "I just wanted to read this letter." "Daniel worked really hard on it." "Well, forget that stupid letter and come back in here." " It's not stupid." " No, but Daniel is." "Alexis isn't even putting that thing in the magazine." " She's not in charge!" " No one told her that." "She's re-done the entire issue." "It's already on its way to the printer." "So please forget that and come in here." "Oh, my god." "I have to go catch Daniel." "No, Betty." "Betty, you can't go." "Betty!" "He--he is your ex-boyfriend." "I am your current boyfriend!" "He is my boss, and you're an idiot!" "Ho, ho!" "We're gonna talk about this in couples counseling!" "Come on!" "We haven't moved in 20 minutes!" "I'm e-mailing the printer again." "Is it okay if I type "stop the presses"?" "I can't believe I trusted her." " I am so stupid." " No, you're not." "You were giving Alexis a chance." "You wanted to believe the best in people." "We're never gonna get there in time." "You know, the printer's not that far away." "Come on!" " Excuse me!" " Sorry." "Coming through." "I just don't understand." "Betty took off with her ex-boyfriend?" "Marc, don't you think that's weird?" "Uh, mom, there's-- there's something that I need to tell you about... me." "I am... breaking up with Betty." "Thank god!" "Wait, you didn't like her?" "Marc, honey, let's be honest." "With that hair and that face, what were my grandchildren gonna look like?" "Mom!" "Mom, Betty and her family were pretty nice to us tonight." "Her family?" "Don't get me started on the family." "Her father-- why should I pay his taxes?" "He broke into this country." " Mom." " And the sister?" "I don't wanna use the "s" word..." "but slut." "There." "I said it." "No wonder she got knocked up in the second grade." "The "Golden Girls" marathon is on!" "And I don't even know what that is." ""That"?" "Please, he's just so... swishy!" "The mother doesn't say anything." "It just makes me sick." "Okay, shut your mouth, mom!" "Why did you say to me?" "You don't get to talk about these people like that." "They did a really nice thing for me tonight." "And that little boy..." "Swishy?" "Swishy." "You wanna talk about swishy?" "Open your eyes, mom, and look at your own swishy son." "You know what?" " I gotta get to the hotel." " No, no, no." "You don't get to go." "Because I may never be this brave again, mom." "I-I-I love you, but" "Do not say it." "I am what you think I am." " You're confused." " No." "No." "For once, I'm not." "If you wanna get to know me... it has to be the real me." "The real you, huh?" "Well, if this is the life you've chosen..." "I have no interest in knowing the real you." "Thank these people for a lovely evening." "Come on." "We're almost there." "Come on, Betty." "Hurry up." "Son of a bitch." "I think I'm having a heart attack!" "Seriously?" "No, I'm just being melodramatic." "Hey, Daniel." "Hey, Betty." "Run, Daniel!" "Whatever happened to sharing?" "What about doing it for mom?" "Plans change." "I'm not a kid anymore!" "Yeah, but I'm still gonna win." "Yes!" "Hey!" "I got your text." "What happened?" "Is this a celebration drink?" "Are you buying?" "Can I have a banana daiquiri?" "Uh, could we get a banana daiquiri for the lady and another scotch, please?" "It's a funny story." "Alex won." "Well, she couldn't have gotten there much earlier." "Come on." "Let's go." "We can just tell the printer to stop." "No, no, Betty." "Don't you get it?" "If it's not this, it's gonna be something else." "Alex is faster than me." "He'll always be faster than me." "So we're giving up?" "Look, my whole family has always thought I've been a big screw up when it comes to this job." "I'm just trying not to disappoint them." "Oh." "Almost forgot." "Advance copy." "Printer was nice enough to give it to me." "She put herself on the cover?" "She always knows how to get at my dad." "You should read the letter from the editor." "It puts mine to shame." "Actually, I don't need this anymore." "I'm sorry." "Don't be." "Betty, I'm finally free." "I've wasted all that time behind the desk." "If Alex wants to take over, then let him." "I got lots of partying to catch up on." "Working late?" "A lot to catch up on." "Bradford, I'm so sorry about Claire." "I know how hard it must be to come home to an empty house." "How about a little dinner and some company?" "You're still here?" "I'm sorry I ran out earlier." "How'd it go?" "Things got a little messy after you left." "I was outed to my mother." "What?" "Who was it?" "My father?" "No, no." "It wasn't him." "It was me." " Wow." " Yeah." "She left." "You know what, Marc?" "I learned something about family tonight." "They're not always the ones who love you the most." "Sometimes it's the family that you make for yourself." "Okay, okay." "It's getting a little too "life time original movie" for me." "But I get it." "She doesn't wanna be a part of my life, then... it's her loss." "Because I'm freakin' fabulous." "Yes, you are." "And just so you know, you'll always be my little chimichanga." "Doesn't mean I like you." ""The great return of Alexis Meade is a story" ""that's been played out enough in the media," ""so I won't go into all the details here." ""But I will admit that I didn't welcome my brother back at first," ""partly because I wasn't used to seeing him in a satin pump." ""Mostly because when he went away," ""he broke my heart." ""So I was mad." ""But when I looked past my anger and his makeup," ""I realized I was happy to have him back." ""I missed him so much." ""I should start saying 'her.' I missed her so much." ""She's family, and it's family that will keep this magazine going" ""in the face of our personal crisis." ""It's family that gets you through everything." ""So welcome back, Alexis." ""Thanks to you, I'm no longer alone."" "Transcript :" "Raceman Subtitles :" "Willow's Team"