"This is a mousetrap as any fool can plainly see... that is, if he isn't a mouse." "It's an amazingly effective tool." "I've been fiddling with it only a few minutes, and I've already caught three." "Cornell Woolrich, the author of tonight's story... does not make mousetraps." "Mr. Woolrich goes in for bigger game." "He makes people-traps, and very good ones, too." "This story concerns a perfect alibi." "Actually, one never knows when he will need an alibi." "Recently, I read of an innocent man who found himself in serious difficulty... because, although he claimed he had been watching a movie... while the crime in question was being committed... his vagueness about details of the picture... caused police to be suspicious." "Please do not allow this to happen to you." "Watch and listen closely to the following commercial... which is furnished for your benefit." "It will provide you with an airtight alibi as to your whereabouts... during the next 60 seconds." "Schultz." "Don't give me that innocent look." "I know what you had in mind." "You was thinking of knocking Edgar off there, wasn't you?" "Edgar's our buddy, and we don't pull no capers off on our buddy." "Now, Edgar's got it tough enough... in stir without you keeping a stakeout on him." "Morning, Edgar." "Come on, now." "Come to the warden." "Come on, boy." "Yeah?" "Open up, Dunleavy." "It's Ward." "Your parole's over, Edgar." "Keep your badge on." "Good morning." "Wipe your feet, cop." "How are you, Sam?" "Pretty good." "Nice place." "This a personal call or a business call?" "Little of each." "You living here alone?" "No." "I share the place with the WCTU." "Always with a gag?" "I remember back in grade school, it was the same thing." "Even when old lady Turner took the switch to you... you always had a gag." "Wonder why you remember that, Al?" "You come to take the switch to me?" "I'd like to take the switch to you." "That is, if it would help me beat some sense into that thick skull, Sam." "Guess it's a little late for that though." "The only switch big enough for you now... is the one that throws the juice into the chair." "You come to make a sentimental speech, pal?" "Not exactly." "I came to ask you to leave Chicago." "Leave?" "I just got back." "Yeah, I know." "You got back from Miami, where strangely enough... they had two funerals last week." "Legs Long and Bugsey Thomas." "Yeah, I seen them." "A lot of nice flowers." "Look, Sam, it's not up to me to pin those Miami jobs on you." "There's a lot of old ones pulled by you right here for me to work on." "Keep working, Al." "I say you're wasting your time." "Maybe." "But I can't figure why you came back here." "Unless, of course... you got an idea to cause more trouble." "Me?" "Real pretty girl, Sam." ""To Sam, with all my love, Goldie."" "Yes, sir, real pretty girl." "Give me that!" "Touchy?" "Maybe you don't go for this with-all-my-love routine." "Maybe things aren't like that anymore?" "Get to the point and then get out." "Okay, I will." "Word has it that this Goldie dame threw you over for a guy named Morgan." "Talk is, she's been running around with this Morgan... ever since you left for Miami, and that you're plenty burned up." "There's also talk that you came back here to take care of things." "Right?" "You'd think I'd risk my neck for some babe?" "Goldie and me are finished, all right, but I called it quits, not her." "Nobody runs out on me." "And lives." "Take care, Sam." "Sam, you got a gun?" "You got a badge?" "Just think twice before you use it." "I always do." "Once when I load it and once when I fire it." "So long, Al." "Sorry, Edgar." "Take it easy now." "Now don't be scared of Suzie here." "Suzie ain't gonna hurt you." "Don't you be scared, neither, Schultz." "Suzie ain't gonna hurt you." "Manassa Mauler." "Hello, Ed." "Sam?" "Sam Dunleavy." "Hey, when did you get in town?" "Last I heard, you were in Miami." "Got back in town yesterday morning." "Barney around?" "Yeah, he's in the back room." "I'll ring for him." "No." "He in a game or alone?" "He's alone." "Then I'll go back and surprise him." "See you later, Ed." "Right." "Shut the door behind you." "If you've come to rob me, you might as well make it private-like." "I forgot about those eyes you got in the back of your head, Barney." "Sam." "Hi, Barney." "Well, I might have known it was you." "The help have got orders to knock... and no punk would be sap enough to come back here and stick me up." "When did you get back in town?" "Yesterday." "Good to see you, Sam." "Come on, sit down." "Sit down, Sam." "Nice place you got here." "Business must be good." "Business is good." "As a matter of fact, Sam, it's too good." "The place has got a reputation as being a smart joint so people just flock in here." "You got to hire good cooks, good waiters, you know, just to keep it high-class." "You must be making a lot of dough out of this place." "So-so." "Is that your only source of income these days?" "What do you mean?" "Nothing much." "Only I used to know a guy who could be a real pal in a jam." "This guy was great for a cover-up." "Once alibied me out of a tight spot." "Of course, I paid him plenty." "Yeah, but then you had a lot of scratch, Sam." "You got a lot of scratch now?" "I got enough." "Well then, stop beating around the bush." "You know that I'm good for an alibi if the price is right." "Come on, make me an offer." "$500." "What?" "$600." "You can go higher than that, Sam." "$750." "Uh-uh." "1,000." "Higher." "Now I see why you're cleaning that gun, Barney." "You're a robber." "I don't need a gun, Sam." "I just play with them to pass the time away." "It's a good hobby, Sam." "All right." "Save the small talk for later." "Let's get back to the point." "You're rolling the dice, you make the point." "Now the last time it was $1,000." "It's too low." "Just how much do you want?" "Well, now that depends." "Tell me, you're planning a rubout." "Never mind." "Of course you are." "That's why you've come to me." "You know that I can fix you up with the perfect alibi." "No slip-ups." "No nothing." "You can be sure you won't burn." "Is that right, Sam?" "Right." "My price is $2,500." "What?" "Sit down, Sam." "Sit down." "Well, Barney... it's dishonest." "Take it or leave it." "Okay." "Attaboy!" "Only I don't like it." "When you covered me on that Cincinnati job... you only charged me $700." "Yeah, that's right, I remember." "You know something?" "I should've charged you three times as much." "They had me down at the station over 100 times, drilling me day and night." "But I didn't crack, did I?" "And you didn't burn, did you?" "Okay, I'll shut up before you raise the price again." "Now put those guns away, and let's get down to business." "All right." "When do we make the strike?" "Tonight." "That is, if you can handle the alibi then." "You know, we always aim to please the customer." "Tonight it is." "Now, any particular time?" "She gets home from work around 10:00." "She?" "Sam, are you knocking off a dame?" "Look, don't you worry about the pigeon, you just handle the cover-up." "But, Sam, a dame." "I guess they gotta go like the rest of us." "We all gotta go sometime." "Is she pretty?" "Too pretty." "Almost as pretty as those 25100-dollar bills you're gonna get." "Come on, Sam." "I want to show you something." "Get this and hang onto it." "There's no way in or out of my back room except through the front, like you came in." "There are no windows, no nothing." "Once you're in here, you're in... until everyone out there sees you coming out again." "So?" "So tonight at 9:30, you meet me out in front." "We'll set up a little game back here, just you and I." "Then you go ahead, take care of your job, and nobody knows a thing about it." "You mean I sneak out the front way?" "How?" "No, you don't sneak out." "You'll be spotted in a minute." "But you said there was no other way out." "But there is." "So far, I'm the only one that knows it." "But you're paying me $2,500." "And you're going to be the second guy to know it." "You're gonna make a call?" "Uh-uh." "You are." "Come on, step in." "Now lean up against the back wall." "Well, lean harder." "Leads right outside." "Well, I'll be." "Come on, get down before somebody sees you." "Come on." "Well, go on." "Light up." "I got my own matches, copper." "Now, that's not being friendly." "And me, I like friendly people." "Why don't you join the lonely hearts club?" "Maybe you'll meet up with a nice old lady." "Maybe." "But in my racket, all the nice old ladies I meet... usually turn out to be ax murderers." "Very funny." "Good evening, Lieutenant." "Hello, Ed." "You want something?" "No, thanks." "I just came for the show." "We ain't got no show here." "You're wrong." "Anywhere that Sam Dunleavy goes, there's usually a show." "Now look, Al..." "Beat it, Ed." "Right." "Look, I don't like your tailing me." "That's too bad." "You got me all wrong." "I don't aim to cause any trouble." "That makes us even, Sam." "'Cause I don't aim to give you the chance to cause trouble." "I came here to play a friendly little game of cards with Barney." "Go right ahead." "I'll wait for you here." "Then later, I might even walk you home, tuck you in bed." "You should have been a nurse." "You need a nurse." "Here we go, speeches again." "From now on, I'm just a cop." "I tried talking to you like a friend, but no more." "And don't expect any favors." "You mean, you wouldn't even fix a traffic ticket?" "I'm crushed." "Well, good evening, gentlemen." "I hardly recognize you without your rubber hose, Lieutenant." "Come on, Barney." "Let's get started." "That is, if hawkshaw here doesn't mind." "Not at all." "I'll make myself at home out here." "Have fun, boys." "I don't like this, Sammy." "Don't worry." "With him out here, it works out swell." "He'll have to swear we was in the back playing cards all night." "Come on." "Ed, give me a fresh deck of cards." "Right, sir." "Look, send the waiter in with a bottle and a couple of glasses." "Yes, sir." "Sit down." "I'll deal us a couple of hands." "I ain't got much time." "We got to set it up, don't we?" "Now sit down." "The waiter's going to come in here with a bottle of hooch and then leave." "He's going to make a very good witness." "He'll swear we were playing cards back here." "Good enough." "Now slap down some dough and make it look real good." "Just so I get this back." "It's 9:45." "Relax." "The dame lives near here, doesn't she?" "Yeah, but I gotta get there on time." "You'll make it in time." "You got a good plan?" "It's so simple, it's beautiful." "When I leave, you keep yelling now and then... so the folks out front will think we're arguing." "I just want to be there and ready when she gets home from the club." "Club?" "She's a dancer, works an early show." "She comes home for two hours until it's time to get back for the second show." "You know this babe's habits pretty well." "Yeah." "Come in." "Okay, Barney, okay." "Put up or shut up." "Don't rush me, Sam." "Tony, see that we're not disturbed for an hour or two." "Mr. Dunleavy wants to lose some money." "Yes, Mr. Barney." "Yeah, I lose too much, and I slit your throat." "You just keep the game on a square, that's all." "Why, you four-flusher, you got more aces up your sleeve than any guy I know." "Now, wait a minute, Sam." "Don't be a wise guy." "If you wanna play, it's okay, but button up your lip." "You're doing all the yakking." "Been yakking ever since I came in here." "Now just..." "Sorry I can't stay and argue with you, Barney." "I got me some choice words you'd appreciate." "Don't worry." "I'm going to make enough noise for the both of us." "Now, good luck." "See you later, pal." "Okay." "Okay, Sam." "Come on, no hedging on the bets." "You wanna play this hand, put in some chips... or else throw your cards in." "But shut up and stop complaining." "Come on, Sam." "Come on." "You're bluffing and I know it." "Oh, brother." "This is like taking candy away from a baby." "What are you talking about?" "You haven't even seen my ladies." "Come on, Sam." "Give it up." "Sounds like your boss is losing." "The boss never loses." "Hello, Goldie." "Sam." "Now, that ain't no way to greet an old pal like me, is it, Goldie?" "Ain't you glad to see me?" "Sure, Sam." "Tell me, how's Morgan?" "Morgan?" "You know, Morgan." "The guy you threw me over for." "Sam, you don't understand." "What's there to understand?" "A year-and-a-half ago the heat was on, and I had to take it on the lam." "But I told you I'd be back, and you told me you'd be waiting." "Look, Sam..." "Shut up!" "I gave you everything, sweetheart." "Minks, diamonds, the works." "And what do you do?" "Take up with another guy as soon as I'm gone." "I don't like that very much." "I aim to show you just how much I don't like it." "Sam, listen to me." "It just happened." "Where's this Morgan guy now?" "Cleveland." "I'm supposed to join him there just as soon as my contract runs out at the club." "Your contract's running out right now, sweetheart." "Okay, Sam." "Okay?" "I know better than to argue with you." "Only one favor." "Could I..." "Could I call and say goodbye to my husband?" "Husband?" "Morg's a nice guy." "You'd like him." "He's been real swell to me." "Don't give me no line about how swell the rat is." "You wanna call him?" "Okay." "Maybe I'd like that." "I'd like him to know you was gonna get it." "Go ahead." "I'd like to call long distance, please." "Cleveland." "Prospect 17290." "Yes." "And when you get him, tell him it's gonna be slow and painful." "Real painful." "Here's part of a letter from him." "He writes a nice letter." "I've already seen it." "And did you read this part at the bottom of the page, Sam?" "I didn't read it all." "It's real sweet." ""Things are going smoothly here..." ""and I'm taking good care of baby."" "Let me see that." ""Taking good care of..."" "You didn't say nothing to me about no baby." "You were away, Sam." "Morg came along, we got married, had the baby." "Hello?" "Yes, hello, Morg." "Morg, tell me, how's the baby?" "I hope baby's all right." "Yeah, baby's just fine, Goldie." "Just fine." "That's wonderful, Morg." "Look, do me a favor." "Give little Dunleavy a kiss for me, will you?" "Dunleavy?" "Yes, please, give him a kiss goodbye for me." "No, I haven't much time to explain right now, Morg." "Just give little Dunleavy a kiss and take good care of him." "You see, something is going to happen to his mommy." "His mommy is..." "Never mind." "Tell him it was all a mistake." "Tell him you'll call him later." "I gotta hang up now, Morg." "I'll call you back later." "You named the kid Dunleavy?" "He's so sweet, Sam." "You should see him." "Tell me..." "Little Dunleavy, is he big?" "Big and healthy." "Well, what do you know." "I want you to meet him someday." "Even if..." "Well, even if I'm not around to introduce you." "Don't talk like that." "You're gonna be around." "But I thought that you said that you" " A mistake." "Just a mistake." "Hey, look." "You got enough for the kid?" "I mean, what can I get him?" "What does he need?" "Boxing gloves, roller skates?" "He need anything?" "He's just a baby." "He has everything he needs." "Just the same, I gotta get him something." "Look, tomorrow morning, you and I will go shopping." "We'll buy booties, all sorts of stuff." "All right." "Well, about the other, I..." "It's okay, Sam." "I'll see you in the morning." "In the morning, Sam." "Dunleavy." "Gee." "Hello?" "Goldie, what gives?" "You okay?" "I'm okay, Morg." "I'm packing a bag and leaving town tonight." "You and me are going to get lost for a while." "What was this Dunleavy bit you were talking about?" "I'll explain later." "It's really pretty funny, Morg." "But you, me, and baby are going to have to lie low for a while." "We're going someplace where nobody can find us." "Then later on, you and baby can make me the kind of dough you promised." "See you soon, Morg." "What do you mean, let's switch the game?" "Listen, you lowlife, we started playing stud... and we're gonna keep on playing stud." "Come on now, make the bet." "That's better." "Now make your bid." "Why, you crook!" "I wouldn't take your IOU in a million years." "Now, come on." "Get it out." "They've been playing cards back there for a long time." "Getting tired, Lieutenant?" "Yeah, I'm getting tired." "Now you got those, Sam." "Now bet it or get out of the game." "I was playing cards when you were hijacking pasteurized milk for your bottle." "Now look, I got me a good hand." "You want to see it?" "You're gonna have to pay plenty." "Come on, what'll it be?" "Yeah." "And what's more, this is the last time..." "I'm going to play poker with a two-bit" "Barney." "It went off." "You idiot, I'll get you a doctor." "It's too late." "Barney." "Barney?" "Hold it right there." "I'll take that gun, Sam, and no tricks." "It's all a mistake." "Barney here shot himself." "Sure." "Don't try to con me, Sam." "You were playing poker." "You most likely blew your top and let Barney have it." "We all heard that shot, and you were the only one back here." "You haven't got any alibi this time, Sam." "Look, Barney here was..." "No." "No alibi." "No alibi." "Six guys I knock off, and you can't touch me." "And now you hook me for one I didn't do." "Come on, Sam." "Six guys I knocked off." "Barney here was my friend, I wouldn't put a slug into Barney." "Well, as they say in San Quentin... that's the way the little pellet drops." "Now, if only Dunleavy had killed Goldie... he could have accounted for his actions at the time of Barney's accidental death." "But then, suppose the police started asking questions about Goldie." "And now for some of those delightful words from our sponsor... after which, I'll be back." "I'm afraid that's all the commercial we have time for this evening." "But we shall be back next week with some more." "Oh, incidentally, if there's time we also plan to tell you another story."