"Honey, I'm homo!" "Hi." " Hi, love." "Thanks." "Jacob speaking ..." "Hi, Inge!" "That's so sweet of you." "How about seven o'clock?" "Oh, we've got loads of food ..." "Perhaps some crisps and dip, Inge?" "Dip-Inge!" " Oh, put a sock in it!" "Have you made dip, Inge?" "Dip-Inge!" "There's lashings of garlic in it." " Dip-Inge!" "It's from the cats as well, of course." "Thanks ever so." " Genuine Biedermeier." "It's late Victorian, silly!" " Oh, wow!" "Actually, these usually hold six pieces of toast." "But this one holds eight." " Oh, right." "It was used in Blythe Spirit." " Oh, the pirate film ...?" "Stick it in your mouth." "Yummy." "That'll be your mum." "Sorry I'm late." " That's all right." "Where is Oskar?" "How about I drop him off tomorrow, so you can rest?" "I suppose so." "You look fabulous!" "Where are you off to?" "To Jacob and Jørgen's." "It's Jacob's birthday." "If you can guess what's inside, you get a CD." "Happy Birthday." "And happy birthday." " This is Swallow." "Skylark!" "Adrian, Palle!" "This is Finn, Jacob's boss, so be good." "All right, girls?" "What?" " Come on." "Are you gay too?" "What?" "Sit down." "This is a lousy time to play doctors and doctors." "Where's Tom?" " He'll be round later." "Who's looking after Oskar?" " Andreas." "Anja was a bit tired and emotional." "Will you marry me?" "Are you a student, then?" " I'm at high school." "Any nice-looking girls in your class?" " Yeah." "There they are." "Hi!" "SHAKE IT ALL ABOUT" "Cheers!" "How's it going with Sailor?" "He picks me up Tuesdays and Thursdays." "The two luckiest days of the week." "And then it's up the creek all summer." "Without a paddle, right, Inge?" " Actually he's got a real creek." "You should've seen me and Fabienne bowling the other night." "Fabienne?" " I worked with her at the C.H." "Orwe go to Boggy Marsh." "Buggery Marsh, more like." "The C.H.?" " The County Hospital." "She's a fab anaesthetist." "When I'm out with him I practically have to wear a wig." "A wig?" " So nobody'll recognise me." "Nothing kinky, though." "He's not into kinky." "That's where I draw the line, too." "At wigs, not kinky." "But he'll never leave his wife and children." "Tom!" " Welcome, dear brother." "Happy Birthday." " Thanks." "I can't stay long." "I'm down to fly tomorrow at ten." "I told Oskar you had tomorrow off." "You could be a model." "Seriously!" "Caroline said Anja's back on the ..." "Shall I have a chat with her?" "Jacob, you were born under a lucky star." "He's the only person over the age of 7 I know   who truly believes the sun rises for his sake." "Jacob's mother Bine, whose super pottery we all know and love,   has a great story about Jacob." "Bine couldn't come tonight." "But that's OK." "She wasn't invited." "I'm always coming without being invited." "Shut up, you slag!" " Quiet!" "Jørgen is telling a story." "You always give the nail head." "You mean "hit the nail on the head ..."" "Back to Bine's story." "Jacob used to do quite a bit of horse-riding." "And as you most of you will know, we actually met on horseback." "I was out running in the park in a fit of spring fever." "Anyway, when Jacob was ten he really wanted a horse." "Oh, no!" "Mummy!" "So off they went to the stud farm." " The stud farm?" "Can I come?" "On the farm Jacob saw two horses he just couldn't take his eyes off." "One was a beautiful grey gelding, the other was a lovely brown mare." "And Bine asked:" ""Jacob, which horse would you like?"" "And Jacob answered, "That one ... and that one."" "And so he got them both, because Jacob always gets what he wants." "And now he wants me." "And yes, I will marry you." "I'll be with you for better or for worse,   and I'll bear your children ..." "Well, anything's possible nowadays." "Three cheers for my beloved and future husband." "Jacob, long may you live!" "And a long one for luck!" "I'm going home before the little one gets too tired." "Put her in the bedroom, we have The Lion King on video." "She's seen it." "We never had a natter tonight." " Because you're stupid." "Anyway, cheers, mate." "Good one." "Push off home!" " Bye." "I'll just get some water." "Are you drunk?" " You just forgot to lower the seat." "Caroline had too much wine ..." "Cheers." "And thanks for the cake." "The fact that I forgot to take the wrapping off only made it better." "Never mind." " Right." "It's only paper." "Jacob, I'm so happy you two are getting married." "We're going to be sisters-in-law." " Go on, you're not boring me." "You're so sweet." " Well, so are you." "Paparazzi!" "Go and taste the go-home-made soup." "Yes, I could do with being souped up a bit." "Let's go in and have a drink." "Thanks." "Let's go back to my place." "No, I've got an early start." "I'm off to a bowling match ..." "Tom called." " What did he do that for?" "He's flipped his lid." " Why?" "Well, there's something rotten in our family ..." "He just called to say thanks." "Courtesy." "You know what he's like." " Yeah, I know." "If you don't want a big do,   there's always the registry office." "Then off to Seville, Granada, Barcelona ..." "But your mum would never agree." " What?" "Your mum would never agree." " Pardon?" "What?" "To the registry office." " Right." "Mum?" " No thanks." "Dad." " Cheers." "What about Christmas, then?" "You know we spend every second Christmas with you, mum." "Last year we spent it with you." "We'll do the same next year." "This year it's Jørgen's parents' turn." "I was just thinking ..." "So I hear you're getting married." "Got any plans?" "We could have it in the country." "There's no rush." "Let's just get through Christmas first." "Good heavens!" "Is that the time?" "Will you see to it, Hans-Henrik?" "So good to see you." "A Skinny Latte   and one Latte." "Is that with skimmed milk?" " Yeah." "I wasn't pissed." "You were pissed." " I don't remember that." "That's 'cos you were wasted." "You all were." "It was a wicked party." "That Caroline ..." "Cor!" "I wouldn't mind having a bit of play while hubbie's away ..." "Nicely stacked." " Shut up." "One shouldn't waste quality snatch." " Shut it!" "What the fuck's wrong with you?" "Been born again?" "Yes." "Would you get us some coffee?" " Black?" "Yeah, cheers." "Milk and sugar?" " Yeah, cheers." "I mean, of course it hurts." "But it's a different kind of pain." "A bit like having an orgasm." "A really long orgasm." "Aren't you going to have one soon?" " An orgasm?" "A child." "Your own child." " I want to finish my thesis first." "And I want Oskar to enjoy being an only child a little while longer." "There isn't really space." " It's a three bedroom house!" "You're far too good." "You're just stuck with that kid." "It's not like that at all." "Caroline speaking." "Oh, hi!" "Yes?" "Yes, I can just make it." "See you there." "... Who was that?" "Hi." " Hi." "It was a great night." " Yeah." "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." "I mean, I was really pissed and really over the moon." "I just wanted to apologise." " No need." "Great." "Why did you want to meet here?" "I was in the neighbourhood." " Oh." "OK." "All right, then." "I mean, I was really pissed as well." "Tom and I had a good laugh about it on the way home." "You told Tom?" "God, you're gullible!" " Oh, I get you ..." "Well, see you." " Bye." "I've got a couple of brochures about Kibbutzim." "You can take them home and read them." "Then again, I quite fancy being, you know, a postman." "I just love the idea of delivering mail." "You know, helping people communicate." "Just like that film with what's-his-name, Kevin Costner." "OK, I'll get hold of some brochures from the post office." "Come for them ..." " Tomorrow?" "Right." "... Simon?" "Have a nice weekend ..." "Nice ass." "Have you finished for today?" "Great." "Shall we go and grab a bite?" "Come here." "There ... we're home!" "Hi!" "Hi, Dad." " Hi, Oskar." "What's for dinner?" " Are you hungry?" "Let's go out." " Let's stay home." "I haven't done any shopping." "Sorry." "And then my period came this morning." "A really heavy one." "It's just been a really rough day." "Shall I get us some pizzas?" "I can do that." "I need some fresh air." "This is Ibrahim Modi from the Islamic council." "It's an umbrella organisation for Muslims living in Denmark." "And that's Johannes Leisner, our elected parish priest." "We architects are enormously pleased that the political climate   is in favour of finally building a mosque in the city of Copenhagen." "And you have offered to take on the task of setting up a local network." "The thing is, this is avery sensitive issue ..." "Hey!" "What's going on here?" " Won't you share your objections?" "What's bloody Brussels done now?" "We're going to build a mosque." " All right." "Would you like to join our mosque discussion group?" "I won't say no." " Should we go and have a look?" "Tony from the Liberal Press is due in 30 minutes to take pictures." "Good press relations are as vital as hell ..." "Remember the reception at Ellen and Anne's tomorrow." "I'm flying Frankfurt-Madrid tomorrow." "So you only get home on Sunday?" " Yes." "Are you coming to bed?" "I might send Oskar over to mum's for the weekend." "I need to work." "Won't you come to bed?" "Tom ..." "Listen, you're going to have to talk to Anja." "Seriously, you have to ..." "You have to talk to her." "For Oskar's sake." "What time's the reception?" " Just come when you like." "What about Caroline?" "What about her?" " Is she coming?" "I don't know." "How the fuck should I know?" "Brilliant!" "Thanks!" "You look fabulous, darling!" " Thanks." "So do you." "Who else is coming?" " Everyone." "Dip-Inge showed up at half two." " We were thrilled to bits." "You should really go up to the bar." "The whole gang's there." "It'd be so typical of Sailor to give me a gift voucher for Chrissy." "Hi, gorgeous!" "You look fabulous!" " Congratulations." "Everyone's over there." "But he wants to take me skiing in January." "Skiing!" "Me!" "There's what's-her-name." " Hi ..." "Wow!" "Hi!" "Can I get anyone a drink?" " Yes, a G ..." "Hi, Jacob!" " A pint, please." "Where's my little brother the pilot?" " Out flying." "Is he working?" "I must have the wrong number." "He says hello." "He won't be home till Sunday." "Oh, that's all right." " Was I supposed to get you one?" "Never mind." "I'm trying to cut down." "All right." "So you're home alone until Sunday?" "How about I drop round for tea and a bit of muff?" "A bit of muff?" "That sounds exciting!" "What's that?" "Shall we dance?" " Yes!" "It certainly is getting cold, isn't it?" "Anyway, we should be ..." "Are you leaving?" " Some of us have to work." "W-O-R-K spells job ... ouch!" "I have a job too, you know!" " Yes, you do." "See you, boys." "Aren't you coming?" " In a sec." "Aren't you coming?" " In a sec." "Nice rack, that new girl." "I wouldn't mind doing her." "She's zero years old ..." "How about finding someone your own age?" "Just to see what it's like?" " Great rack, eh?" "Actually, I pulled the bartender at that dyke do." "Went over to her place, and it really smelled cookery-like." "She'd baked nut pie." " So?" "Turns out she's a vegetarian." "Who wants to fuck a vegetarian?" "They won't suck cock." "I mean, they don't like meat." "Anyway, suddenly we're in bed, and she's on top." "And to show some initiative, I politely shoved a finger up her bum." "That really got her off." "When I got home and brushed my teeth, I caught a whiff of my finger." "It fucking smelled of nut pie." "Want one?" "You're sick." " I'm sick?" "Your kind of sex was illegal for most of the last century." "Are you coming, or what?" " In a sec." "Nice arse in those shoes." " Cheers." "Listen Jacob, I really respect you." "Great." " Hey, seriously." "Honestly, you're a really great ..." " Architect." "And I really don't mind that other business ..." "Stop it." "You're drunk." "Will you lay off, for fuck's sake?" "I'm not the firm's token poof." "Hi, Caroline speaking." "You moron!" "Do you want to come in?" "I've just had a shower." "I mean, I'll put the kettle on." " No, thanks." "I just wanted to ask about an advent present for Oskar." "But it's already December 8." "I meant Christmas present." "Ouch!" " Okay." "Jacob?" "A huge do might be nice, though." "With Adrian and Palle as bridesmaids." "Yeah, right." "Was it a good office party?" "The usual." "Finn got drunk and all touchy-feely." "You know." "I think I'll go to bed." "I'm knackered." "Will you get that?" "Where the fuck did you go?" "You just disappeared." "Did you pull the new girl?" "Listen, Mads, I'll call you later." "I have to go and puke." "What?" ""Did you pull the new girl!"" "I'll just lie down." " Want me to tuck you in?" "So, you want more cock?" " Yes." "What do we say?" " Yes, please." "Hey, Tom!" "My dear brother." "Merry Christmas." "Are you working between Christmas and New Year?" "What?" "Abandon Baby Oskar and the Virgin Caroline?" "Air traffic doesn't stop for Christmas." "I'm down for a triple on 30 December." "What's a triple?" " Helsinki, London, Bergen." "So you won't be home for New Year's Eve?" "Promise you'll look after her." "We don't want any accidents." "Caroline speaking." " Hi, it's Jacob." "I was just wondering about Oskar's Christmas present." "It's already December 22." " Does he want anything?" "Or do you?" "What do you want?" "You." "Yes." "Darling?" "Darling?" " Yes?" "I can't make the trip to your parents' tonight." "They phoned from work." "About the structural engineering." "I won't bore you with the details." "It's the entrance." "They've scheduled a meeting for tonight." "No, tomorrow, but I'll have to prepare it tonight." "I'm really sorry." "Great." "Couldn't they have left the mosque in Christmas peace?" "Nobody needs mosques at Christmas." "Or maybe they do?" "I'll see you on Christmas Eve." "'Bye, sweetheart." "All right, girls?" "Yes." "Darling?" "I forgot." "It's my study group's Christmas get-together tonight." "We all have to take a little prezzie." " But I'm on stand-by!" "The airline could phone any time." "I can't leave Oskar at home alone." "Well, give Inge a ring, or my mother." "I won't be gone long." "Why the heck won't you take some initiative?" "He's your son!" "Sorry." "'Bye." "'Bye." "I know, I know, I know!" "Hi." "Come in." "Bust." "Right." "Clubs." "Clubs ..." "I thought you preferred chains." "Chains!" " Honestly ..." "Chains!" "1-0." "Did you come?" "Almost." " Right." "Well, we'll just have to do it again." "But sir!" "We really can't have that." "Hi, love, I was just going to call you." "All set for tomorrow?" " They cancelled." "Typical!" "So I'll be over in the morning." "You can get a lift from Tom and Caroline in the afternoon." "I'm really sorry I was so grumpy." "Darling?" "Jacob?" "Have you been a good boy?" " Sure." "Wanna see what Santa put in your stocking?" "You're so bloody childish!" " Childish?" "Come on." " Cut it out!" "Come on, you fucking faggot." " What did you call me?" "Cheers." "God, what a boring jumper." "If only it had been really ugly." "Or at least home-made." "But it isn't." "It's just green." "If it just had a neat little touch, a stripe, or a stain ..." "Or a price tag." "Are you in love with her?" "I don't know." "Jørgen ..." "Listen ..." "That's one of the reasons you've been transferred here." "We have the necessary in-house capacity and expertise." "And we're doing our absolute best   Jørgen." "But I'm afraid there's a risk   of severe visual impairment to your right eye." "Left." " Well, your left." "And ..." "Excuse me." "If our tests show that the damage   to the nervus opticus is so extensive as to necessitate   the surgical excision of the eye,   you will of course be supplied with a prosthesis." "'Bye-bye eye." "Goody, goody." "Right ..." "You're not doing too well, are you?" "It was my fault." " Of course it wasn't!" "He was drunk." "It was pure luck he didn't run over anyone ..." "I slept with Caroline." " What?" "I told him ..." "Well, he asked." " You slept with Caroline?" "Caroline Caroline?" "You slept with her?" "When?" "Once." "And then you went and told Jørgen?" "That was bloody stupid, wasn't it?" "What did you do that for?" "Seriously, what's wrong with you?" "Keep your pecker up, OK?" " I'm fine." "I'll never be a pilot, that's all." "Oskar says hello." "I have to go." "I've got to be at the airport in half an hour." "Do you need anything?" " No ..." "Yes, Toblerone." "And an eye." "'Bye, love." "What happened?" "Well, I'm going to lose an eye." "On the other hand I wasn't really using it for anything." "Jørgen ..." " Caroline." "You should leave." "I need some shut-eye." "Right." "See you." "What happened?" " I don't know." "It's a real fuck-up." "I mean Jørgen." "Why was he out in the middle of the night?" "Poor Jørgen." "You didn't tell him, did you?" "Did you, Jacob?" "That wasn't why he went off ...?" " I didn't tell him." "He asked me." "You didn't tell him, did you?" " No, I didn't." "You didn't bloody tell him, did you?" "He guessed, Caroline." "That's the first part of the trilogy." "You needn't bother with the others." "Do I need to read this one?" "Are you covered for painkillers?" "I've brought you a funny hat for New Year's Eve." "Right, I'll be off." "I have to go entertain up in the children's ward." "Tell me if there's anything I can do." " We will." "There's more stuff in the bag." "Happy New Year." "Bombarec." "If it's going to be a happy one." " Champagne?" "No thanks, I'm not thirsty." "How's the mosque coming along?" " Fuck the mosque." "Jørgen, I'm sorry ..." " There, there." "Please say something." "I guess I'll lose my driving license." "But I wasn't really using it." "Please." "Go home and get some rest, Jacob." "You look knackered." "I want to stay." " I'm knackered." "Go home." "Happy New Year." "See you." "Mummy!" "Oskar!" "Did dad come home last night?" "No." "It must have been a dream." "Maybe it was Santa." "Don't be sad." "Are you sad?" "You're being noisy." " What?" "You're being noisy." " Oh." "Shouldn't you try and get away?" " I can't." "Jørgen's due home." "You wouldn't have to go far." "Don't worry." "Tom's in Madrid." " I know." "Thanks." "Why do they put shrimp salad on hot dogs?" "Thanks." "What are you thinking?" "That's pretty." "Thanks." "Could you hold on to this for a sec?" " Sure." "I need to pee." "In the Ladies'." "Jacob!" "Doing a bit of Swedish bargain hunting?" "No!" "I know!" "You've come over to buy Jørgen that Armani suit!" "I told you, Palle!" "It's wonderful the way you're trying to cheer Jørgen up." "I still remember when Adrian had his tonsils out." "That was tough." "You were fantastic." "Yes, you were." "You were a rock ..." " Oh, such flattery!" "You know, a tin like that would normally cost you ..." "What are you doing here?" "Coming back from Lund?" "Yes, they have some courses I can't do in Copenhagen ..." "I was here the whole time, and I didn't even see you." "I didn't even see her come out of the Ladies'." "And Palle and Adrian are in Sweden too!" "What time did you say the shops close?" "Amazing!" "See you back home!" "Right, we'd better ..." " Yeah." "The Brideshead Café, Frederik speaking." "You just walked off." "You left me standing there." "Oh, not really." "Where's my hot dog?" " I had to eat it, didn't I?" "Sorry, but where were you I'm sure they don't suspect anything." "I'm telling you, if you did that!" "With your sister-in-law!" "I'm telling you, if you did that!" "With your sister-in-law!" "A girl!" "I would kick you out on the spot." "It's no good." "Is it?" "Shouldn't I just go home?" "Yes." "I have to pick up Jørgen tomorrow afternoon." "Then I suppose I had better go now." "Goodbye." "Perhaps you'd better stay?" "Jacob and Caroline." "Adrian told me." "He said he ran into them in Malmø, and they looked really guilty." "Fuck him, fucking poof!" "Have you heard?" "They were such a great couple." "The only happy couple on the scene." "Oh, please!" " Why did she have to barge in?" "You're no better." "Sailor and I haven't been cottaging for yonks." "Do you think he screws her?" "Do you think he licks her ..." "I should think so." "What's the difference between drinking warm lager and eating pussy?" "Don't ask me!" "Lager always tastes of piss." "I'm really in a tither." "What about Jørgen?" "He must be completely ..." "Gosh, this looks like Sailor's ..." "Do you want a beer?" " I'd rather have a tequila slammer." "Who is it?" "You needn't come down, I've a big strong ambulance driver to help me." "I'll open the door." "I'm homo!" "This is Frank." "He's our national pentathlon champion." "Would you like a cup of coffee?" " Could I have some juice?" "Get well soon." "Wasn't I supposed to pick you up at four?" "I made a speedy recovery." "The place looks really nice." "Oh, God ..." "How many times did you meet?" "Not that many." " Pardon?" "Not that many." "Not that many?" "That's more than once, right?" "How many times?" "How many times?" " It's not like that." "Not like us." "Not like us?" "Has she been sleeping here?" "Just once." "Jørgen please!" "Calm down!" "I won't see her again!" "I won't see her again, all right?" "I won't see her again." "I won't see her again." ""Dear Dorothy, I'm a man in his thirties,   who has spent the past months chained to a hospital bed." "When I'm discharged I discover  that my partner has been sleeping with ... pardon my French, a woman." "Have I been living a lie?" "Should I get a sex change?" "And can I get one on the NHS?" "Why won't you be serious for once?" "I'm sorry." "What can I say?" "I love you." "I do." "I love you." "I've really been missing you." "Aren't they gorgeous?" "Aren't they gorgeous?" "Near miss." " I can't judge distances any more." "I can't wait for my glass eye." "I can't see a thing through this patch." "Oh, Frederik." " I'm sorry." "Hi, love." "Did you have to work late again?" " Yes." "I'll bet." "Aren't you staying for dinner?" " No." "Sailor is taking me to a Kiri Te Kanawa concert." "Take care." " You take care of him, or else!" "'Bye." "Listen, shouldn't we get some help?" "A psychologist or a therapissed ..." " You mean a therapist?" "Well, let's start with a therapissed." "What do you say?" "A marriage counsellor?" "Fine." "But I refuse to play Ophelia." "Try and find the core of your relationship." "Do things together." "Like washing up together." " We have a dishwasher." "Fine." "But really dirty dishes ..." "Do you know what I mean?" "Yes." " No." "Or folding laundry." "A tablecloth or a sheet." "A sheet." " It's a metaphor." "Get up." "Here's a sheet." "Fold it." "You see, you really have to be sensitive to the other person." "Good." "We'll work on that next time." "How did that feel?" "Try and put it into words." "Well, at first I thought it was really hard." "Perhaps we should go out to dinner." " Ask Jørgen." "Do you want to go out to dinner?" "I'm not hungry." "Right, that's it for today." "Remember:" "It's all right to cuddle." "But no sex." " I hope that's OK by you." "Absolutely." "No thanks." "Delicious, eh?" " Cruelty to animals ..." "No way." "Actually I read that when the peasant rings his little bell,   all the geese come running to be fed." "They wouldn't if it hurt, would they?" "I know the feeling." " What?" "Nothing." "Shall we go to the cinema?" " I have to get up early." "Shall we go for awalk?" "Walk home?" " In the rain?" "Yes." "I could take a couple of days off." "We could go to Paris." "If you like." "And we don't have to eat foie gras." "We really must be going." " Hi, darling ..." "You're late." "How was the meeting?" " All right." "Where have you been?" " No where." "Just ..." "On his building site." "They're so busy." "It's wonderful to see you." " Hi, Mum." "Dad and I just stopped by on our way to the theatre." "We brought you a little something." "Nothing fancy, we just thought ..." "Thanks." "We'll be off, then." "Off to the gas station." " The Gas Plant Theatre." "To see that blonde who's in The Celebratlon." "Right, we'll be off, then." "So good to see you, darling." "'Bye." " 'Bye, Dad." "'Bye-bye." "Christ, what a day." "Thank God we're going away tomorrow." "You smell of metal." "God, you're gorgeous." "Isn't she gorgeous?" "Definitely." " Thanks." "I'm just going to take a pee." "Jørgen?" "Won't you come out?" "No." "We have to go in a minute." "I don't want to." "What don't you want?" "I don't want anything." "At some point you're going to have to do things by yourself." "At some point you're going to have to do things by yourself." "I'm sorry." "Are you ... you know, gay?" "Yes, I am." "It's just because I, you know, like, I think I might be too." "I see." " I was wondering ..." "Maybe you could get me some, you know, like, brochures?" "Yes, of course." "Cheers." "How about a stint on a school ship?" " A school ship?" "Yes ..." "How about suicide?" "It's just not on, is it?" "I don't think I can do this ..." " No, I know." "I'm pregnant." "I haven't told Tom yet." "I could get an ..." "I mean, if you don't want to." "I don't even know what I want." "I don't know what to do." "I'm sorry." "Are you pregnant?" "But that's wonderful." "Of course you're going to have that baby." "We are." "Hi." "Hi, love." " Jørgen ..." "No, wait." "There's something I want to say." "I've been practising all day." "I'm sorry it's taken me so long." "I'm just a country lad." "And there's something else too." "Shouldn't we drop counselling?" "We can handle this, we have done before." "There you go." "Hi, darling." "Where's Oskar?" " At Andreas' house." "Listen." "I'm really sorry I've been so weird lately." "The thing is, I'm pregnant." "Are you pregnant?" "Are we having a baby?" "Oh, darling ..." "I want to have that baby." " You want and want and want!" "You know I want to have children." "I always have." "You know that." "Are you trying to stop me?" "'Cos I would never try and stop you." "I love you." "I would never do that to you." "I think you should leave now." "God, we're really good at this, aren't we?" "Anybody home?" "Good party yesterday?" "Caroline is ..." "She's got a bun in the oven." "Caroline is pregnant." "You're going to be an uncle." "Congratulations." "Shouldn't they be put in a vase?" "Actually, I brought you something." "There you go." "Smells better than your usual eau-de-poof." "Well, I'd better be getting home to mumsy." "Don't bother getting up. 'Bye." "What's wrong?" "Was it the aftershave?" "Haven't you got it yet, you stupid twat?" "What?" "Why can't you do anything right?" "You never could!" "What have I done?" " Haven't you got it yet?" "They're fucking!" "Your wife is fucking my husband." "Are you blind?" "You just have to twist it like this ..." "You just have to twist it like this ..." "Have you been kicked out?" "Where are you going to stay?" "You can't move in with your parents." "Welcome, Caroline." "How wonderful that you two ..." "Would you pass the gravy?" " Of course." "I'm so glad to be of help." "And we have loads of space." "The prodigal son returns." " Isn't it wonderful?" "Yes." "Cheers." " Cheers, everyone." "Sorry!" "Happy Birthday to Jørgen ..." "I've always dreamt of having a birthday like this." "I'm sorry." "Happy Birthday." " Forget it." "Yeah, take the bloody thing." "After all, your mother made it." "I suppose she's well pleased?" "I'm just going to make us a nice cup of tea and sandwiches." "Happy Birthday." "Happy Birthday." "We couldn't abandon you, today of all days." "Cheer up, eh?" "Well, well, I thought he found himself a nuclear family." "Jørgen, no!" "Don't let him!" "They've been impossible to lay hands on since they were banned." "This one's worth a fortune!" "It was my grandfather's." " Don't let him take everything!" "It was his grandfather's." " Still!" "There's been a fuck-up with the moving van." "I've been calling all morning but he's not answering." "This is Nynne." " Synne!" "Sorry." " That's all right." "Synne by name, sin by nature." "Sandwiches!" "Thank God you called." "I was lying on the sofa considering whether to slit my wrists." "Sailor'd said he'd come over though it isn't Tuesday or ..." "What do you do?" "I've got my A-levels this summer  and then I'd like to do something with design or media ... multimedia." "Any good-looking girls in your class?" "Well, there's these two girls called Christine ..." "And he stood me up!" "Oh well, fuck him!" "Or rather no more fucking him, I'm fed up." "Of course you are." "Aren't you going to tell Jørgen about ..." "We've fenced the whole cottage garden." "It cost 22,000!" "Why on earth ..." "So the cats won't get run over." "22,000?" "You could have them shot for 1500." "No." "That'd cost a grand apiece." "Why do you keep cats anyway?" " You wouldn't understand." "Why don't you have them put down?" "What with Adrian's allergy and all?" "You never told me about your allergy." " You never asked." "Will you shut the fuck up!" "I bear a deep sorrow." "Don't you understand?" "My beloved ..." "My beloved has left me." "Do you understand?" "I'm in the middle of a crisis." "Wow, are you gay?" "All right, out!" " What?" "That's enough." "Off you go." "This way." "'Bye." "Out you go." ""Gay!"" " Please leave." "You too." "Please leave." "All of you." " Come on." "We were only trying to help." " Come along, Palle." "See you." "You too, Frederik." "Please go now." "What do you want?" " The door was open ..." "What do you want?" "Well, my parents kicked me out ..." "Why?" "I said I wanted to sail on that school ship." "That's no reason to kick you out." "Well, I also told them I was, you know, like, gay." "Right." "Come in." "You can sleep on the sofa." "Wow, you have, like, really good taste!" "This whole area ..." "Wait!" "First we need to work out who's bringing cake to the next meeting." "I could whip up one of those pound cakes." "Pound of flour, pound of sugar." " Excellent!" "Go on." "That's ..." " I just wanted to drop off the keys." "The green one." "I don't need them, so just ..." "Have a nice weekend." " 'Bye." "If you're going to walk around half naked, do it in your own room." "Do you want feta cheese in ..." " That'll do fine." "And don't worry about the sausage, it's organic." "Stop drawing, Hans-Henrik." "We're going to eat now." "Would you like to start?" " Thanks." "No, thanks!" "There he is." "Good evening, son." "Svendsen says hello." "You know, from the riding school." "Isn't this nice?" " Caroline?" "What the hell are you at?" "You're coming home with me." "Oskar misses you." " You'd better go." "Shut up, you fucking faggot." "Fucking poof!" "This isn't the time." "You'd better have an abortion so you don't give birth to a poof." "Come with me." "Should I ...?" " No, Dad." "Did he hit you?" " No, of course not!" "I'm sorry." " Isn't there anything we can do?" "Look, I'm really, really sorry." "Is it true?" " What?" "Is Caroline ...?" " Yes." "Am I going to be a grandmother?" " Yes, Mum." "I think I need something stronger." "How about awhisky?" "Yes ..." "No!" "I just passed the half-year mark." "I'll have some water." "What are you doing?" " I have to go." "I mean, what about Oskar?" "I can't just leave him." "He can move in with us." "Look, I'm needed." " I need you." "No, actually you don't." " Please don't go." "Won't you ..." "No." " I'll work something out." "We're going to have a baby." " Exactly ..." "Oskar can come any time." "I'll find us another place to live." "We could get married." "Will you marry me?" "This is so exciting!" "You're getting married!" "But I thought he was ..." "It's just because ..." "Not that that's important,   but there's all that business about custody." "We would be sending a signal ..." "I haven't got a clue what to do." " Hold this." "There's nothing disgusting about it as long as he's being breastfed." "Is Oskar home?" " No." "May I come in?" " No." "If there's anything I can do ..." " Go away, Anja." "I brought you cakes." " Just go, Anja." "Custard pies." "You used to love custard pies." "Right, I'll be off." "I'm sorry, but I have to get to work." "You know ..." " Air traffic." "Perhaps air traffic isn't the most important thing in the world." "Off you go." " Give us a kiss." "Look, we've been through this a hundred times." "You're banned for two weeks." " Can I call you?" "Three weeks." "That means until the ..." "You work it out." "And Our Lord Jesus Christ says:" ""A man must leave his father and mother  and be bound to his wife ... no, not like that   and the two will become one flesh."" "Thank God, you got to keep the flat." "Can you afford it?" "I'm renting it out." " At least they didn't get it." "You're better off without him." "Just trying to help." "What about that cab?" " I can't get through." "You'll really get to know the city." "Paris is just magnifique in the spring." "Fuck, yes!" "All the chestnut trees will be in blossom." "I'd love to come and visit." "How about the first week in July?" "All the cab companies are on strike because of some take-over." "I have to go, or I'll miss my plane." "I could give Per from bowling a ring." "He drives a Mazda." "Offyou go, Dip-Inge!" "Let the wake begin!" "And so I ask you, Jacob Stolze,   do you take Caroline Baumgarten to be your lawful wedded wife?" "And so I ask you, Jacob Stolze,   do you take Caroline Baumgarten   for better or forworse ..." "Will you marry me?" "Yes, I will marryyou." "I'll be with you for better or forworse." "I love you." "I love you too." "We'll work it out." " Yes." "Jacob!" "Hurry!" "You did it!" "You're amazing!" "I love you!" "Not in that way." "It's just been MOT'ed." "And you know what?" "They make the most delicious crême brulée." "I'm so glad you called, Inge." "Per." " Palle." "Adrian." " Hi." "'Bye." "You can't do more than 250,000 on one of those electric motors." "But a new one costs a fortune, so I just kept the old one." "Jørgen?" "Jørgen!" "Gross!" "Where is he?" " Oh, he's like ..." "He had to, like, you know ..." "Speak or I'll fucking kill you!" " He went to Paris." "He's off to Paris on the plane." "What?" " At three o'clock." "Keep your mouth shut and get some braces." "The airport!" "Now!" "See you." "The airport." " Strike." "Pardon?" " Cabs're on strike." "I'll give you five hundred." " Do you think I'm a scab?" "Get out." "If it's your horse, it'll come back to you." "What?" " If you love each other ..." "No!" "Horse!" "Miss!" "Would you help me out?" "The cabs are ..." "It's a long story, but the point is I really need a horse." "Pardon?" " May I borrow your horse?" "Out of the question." "I really need to." "Naughty!" "Handcuffs turn you on, eh?" "Can you stop that plane?" "Would you call the pilot?" "I'm afraid the plane just took off." "Then you have to ..." "How do you ..." "What's that button?" "Sorry." "I'm begging you." "This is a matter of life and death." "Of love." "Great love that's been neglected for far too long." "We can't have that." "I've avery insistant young man in a tux with a bride's bouquet ..." "I'm sorry to bother you, really sorry,   but you'll have to turn your plane around." "You see, there's a man ..." "The man I love is on your plane, and he doesn't know I love him." "There've been all these misunderstandings,   and I thought I had to do something, but I don't." "Oh, yes, my name is Jacob Stolze." "He hung up." "Perhaps he had to go." "Or perhaps the phone broke." "This is your captain speaking." "A minor problem has arisen." "We have to land right away." "Don't panic ..." "It's just a communication problem." "We will keep you informed." "Hi." " Hi." "Come on." "Bloody queers!" "Could you give me a lift, sir?" "So you're not working today?" " No." "There are more important things in life than air traffic."