"The Omnibus Crime Control and Safe Streets Act makes what illegal?" "Electronic surveillance without judicial authorization." "What was that?" "I'm taking my PI exam tomorrow." "He's ensuring his legacy." "He's nervous for you." "That's sweet." "He should be nervous for himself." "I'm gonna beat his score." "Then I'm gonna dine on that shared knowledge for a lifetime." "A passive infrared detector would not be the best choice... under which of the following conditions?" "A, overhead doors." "B, significant changes in temperature." " C..." " B." "Why don't you bug Piz for a while?" "So, Piz, what are you studying?" " Apollo..." " Bukenya." "He actually goes to Hearst, and he wrote this..." "Memoir, I guess you'd call it." "What could a college kid possibly have to put in a memoir?" "Surviving spring break on 10 bucks a day?" "He was a child soldier in Uganda." "Never knew his father." "Rebel army killed his mother." "Put a gun in his hand when he was 6 years old." "Somehow he managed to escape as a teenager and get to the States." "I'm interviewing him on my show tomorrow." "I'm just prepping." "The book's already been optioned as a movie." "Middle six-figures." "Plus he's been booked on Oprah." "But Piz got him first." "What?" "It's so refreshing to hear one of your gentlemen callers... have more to talk about than how high the waves are breaking." "Hello, hello." " What?" " Dad likes you?" "Kiss of death." "What was the address?" "Two of them?" "We've just had our seventh home burglary in the past 13 days." "Seventh." "That's what the papers begin referring to as a crime wave." "In six of the seven, the burglars have also stolen cars from the residences." "All the burglaries occurred in our favorite zip code." "As you know, the residents are an impatient lot." "Now, the one car we recovered had switched plates... with a car in a supermarket parking lot." "Jerry will hand out printouts detailing the hot spots." "Drop in on the pawn shops and all known fences." "The job fair has everyone here in a feeding frenzy." "Real jobs for overachieving seniors... and volunteer work for everyone looking to fill a résumé." "Me?" "The job I'm waiting on?" "I would have been better off buying a lottery ticket." "Not long after I escaped, I was at an evac hospital... and a very kindhearted nurse was trying to comfort me." "Telling me what I did was not my fault because I was just a child." "What I have to live with today... is the knowledge that when my abductors coaxed... or rather, brainwashed me into an instrument of violence..." "I was left with not just the ability, but the appetite to kill." "My guest is Apollo Bukenya." "A Hearst student who miraculously escaped the LRA in Uganda." "Apollo, you dedicate Soldier of Misfortune to your adviser here at Hearst." "Prof. Lisa Tonon who is here with us." "I owe her a great deal of gratitude." "There would be no book without her." " She knew you before you came to Hearst." " She did." "She actually read a short story I wrote when I was 15 and called me." "She's been my friend and mentor ever since." "Professor Tonon?" "Well, of course I'm flattered... but the truth is that Apollo has taught me much more than I have taught him." "You realize you're the radio-host version of a rock star, right?" "I don't know what the groupie procedure is for this scenario... but I might have to throw my panties at you." "Or I could autograph you." "I believe we have some Sharpies lying around." "So I have news." "I got offered an internship with Pitchfork Media." "Pretty much the most highly regarded music-review publication on the Internet." "Piz, that's fantastic." "I'd get to work with important critics." "See bands on the verge of breaking." "I might get to do a few reviews myself, so I can really get my snob on." "Their offices are in New York." "Which could be cool, right?" "Super cool, you lucky dog." " Twelve weeks in the Big Apple." " Everything's coming up Piznarski." "Sheriff, Veronica's on the phone." "Thanks." " Ninety-five." " You passed." "Yeah, I passed, and I beat your score by two points." "But don't worry, Dad, I'll still lob in the token call from time to time." "Asking for advice, thereby validating your existence." " Honey?" " Yeah?" "I made a 97." "It's beneath you to lie to me in this, my finest hour." " Are you at your desk?" " No." "Are you at my desk?" "Yes." "Then this will be easy." "Pull out my middle drawer." "I had a feeling this moment would come." "You see it there?" "Yep." "Sweetie, maybe you should go sit back down at the receptionist desk." "Gotta go, duty calls." "Mars Investigations." "Detective Mars speaking." "Yes, I believe I have discovered a son I never knew I had." "Okay." "And you'd like us to track this boy down?" "No, I know where he is." "I want proof he is in fact my son." "His name is Apollo." "Apollo Bukenya." "Veronica Mars 3x18 - I Know What You'll Do Next Summer" ""There was no struggle." "No protest." "No crying." "She just told me to go with the soldiers." "I can't imagine how afraid for me she must have been." "I never saw my mother again."" "So imagine what it'll mean... if I can reunite him with the father he's never met." " What?" " It's like the NBA." "Fatherless boy makes good." "The dough starts rolling in." "And here comes long-Iost daddy expecting a payday." " It's not the same thing." " The world is upside down." "Veronica Mars wants to believe in miracles, and I'm the cynical one." "It's not like he can lie." "There'll be a paternity test." "So, what are you gonna do?" " Steal a DNA sample from Apollo?" " Kizza doesn't want me to steal anything." "He doesn't want Apollo told about it until he's certain they're father and son." "How are you supposed to prove it?" "He e-mailed me a PDF of a letter he has from a woman he claims is Apollo's mother." "If I can look at anything Apollo might have with his mom's handwriting..." "Maybe you can make miracles happen." "So how does it feel to be a professional detective?" "Great." "Know how much I'm making on my first professional case?" "Nada." "I guess he's scraped just enough together for a cheap plane ticket if the news is good." "He had to e-mail me the letter from a Kinko's." "I have to wait on his daily calls from the payphone in his boarding house." "Yeah, that's not a guy looking for a payday." "Tell your roommate I came hoping to kill time between classes... getting to second base with someone, then left unsatisfied." "He's a good guy, Veronica." "Try not to rip out his heart." "Tommy, I'm curious." "How is it that you found yourself in possession of jewelry... reported stolen from two separate homes?" "The owner of Brody's Pawn said... you were quite anxious to unload said merchandise." "Don't answer that." "Can you tell me where you were two nights ago between 9 and 11?" "Don't answer that." "I was so fond of you when I was a private detective." "I hope you'll understand why you shouldn't expect my vote in the upcoming election." "The break-ins were professional jobs." "Topflight security systems disabled." "Try not to be offended, Tommy, when I suggest that perhaps... you're not the leader of the crew." "You mind telling me who is?" "Why don't you just put me back in my cell?" "Let me know when the bail bondsman gets here." "Anxious to get back to the river Styx, Tommy?" "Mr. Shaw here works with the Fitzpatricks." "I got what I needed." "Deputy, take our friend back to the cell he enjoys so much." "Hi, Apollo?" "I'm Veronica Mars." "I'm a reporter for the Hearst Free Press." "We met at your radio interview, and I'm hoping to do a story on you too." "You wrote the book so people would know what's happening there." "I know." "Sure, I've got some time later today." "Does that work for you?" "My point is that white flour is essentially poison." "In a couple weeks, you'll be home eating with us." " Feel like a new person." " I don't know." "I rely pretty heavily on my morning bagel." "Which is exactly why you need to be without it." "And I was able to pull a few strings and get you that job in the mailroom." "Parker." "Elbows." "It's for a few weeks, enough to make some spending money... before leaving for Aunt Louise's." " Thanks, Dad." "But I was thinking of looking for a job, like, at a daycare or something." "Spend the summer with a cold and ruin everyone's vacation?" "I don't think so." "So, Logan." "What sort of career are you pursuing?" " Oh, sorry, were you about to...?" " Yeah." "Apollo?" "You've got a visitor." "Hi." "Come in." "Take a seat." "But please don't lead your story on how I like to play "Grand Theft Auto."" "Make me sound less frivolous." "Sometimes we'd be sent on waves." "Where the tactic was to overpower our enemies... through sheer weight of numbers." "We were divided into two units and given drugs to ready us to fight." "I would make myself vomit up the drugs... then convince the two leaders I was going to be in the other's unit." "Instead, I'd hide in the bush, then blend in with the returning fighters." "To stay alive, one had to think quickly." "What's that Survivor slogan?" "Outwit, outplay, outlast?" "I was a survivor." "Veronica." "Did you have more questions?" "Let's talk about the days before your conscription." " I really think they liked me." " Yeah." "I don't really think you survived the Googling." "Is it wrong that I'd rather be trampled by horses... than spend the summer with my parents?" "No." "The horses are a much better option." "What else I am I gonna do?" "I didn't sign up for classes or request any summer housing." "You can stay here." "I'm sorry, I'm a little stunned." "That is so sweet." "It just..." "Moving in, that's kind of a big step." "I meant you could stay here." "I'll be gone most of summer." "You'll have the place to yourself." "Where are you going?" "South America." "To surf with Dick." "For the whole summer?" "You were going home to Denver." "Yeah, which is a two-hour flight from here." "I thought we'd see each other." "I'm sorry." "I've been planning this with Dick for a while." "I don't understand where we're at if you won't see me for months... and that's cool with you." "It's not cool with me, I just didn't think about it." "It's a surf trip, Parker." "It has nothing to do with us." "The day I was kidnapped... my mother couldn't really put up a fight for me without risking others' lives." "But later that night, she came to the camp... to beg my captors to give me back to her." "I wasn't there." "This is just what my best friend, James, told me." "And when they saw that James knew my mother... they made him shoot her." "I'm so sorry." "Do you have anything from her?" "Pictures, personal items, mementos?" "The day I was captured, my mother sent me to the market." "I carried the shopping list in my pocket for years." "Do you still have it?" "Do you mind if I move into better light?" "A perfect match." "You're sure this doesn't bother you to talk about?" "Positive." "Logan's going surfing in South America for the whole summer." "Never mentioned it." "The whole summer." "What is that?" "Is that how he is, or is that just how he is with me?" "It's kind of just how he is." "Why is that not more comforting?" "So Mac's not around to talk about this stuff?" "Mac's fallen into the black hole of new love." "She only comes up for air." "How you guys doing?" "I'm wearing a different shirt." "Just so you know." "Keep it." "I have to, have to, have to go to my morning classes tomorrow." "I'm getting lost in the "sex, nap, eat, repeat" loop." " I'm in the porn version of Groundhog Day." " Pound Hog Day?" " When's the last time you went to class?" " February." " Are you kidding?" " Business has been booming." "My classes have kind of fallen by the wayside." "So now begins the 11 th-hour cram session?" "No, no, no." "I'm done." "Countdown to my expulsion has begun." "Frankly, it's liberating." "You were just waiting for me to start pulling out books?" "No, I'm just browsing." "Boning up on your South American culture?" "Conversational Portuguese perhaps?" " lf you're gonna be that close to Rio..." " How did you know about my trip?" "Parker mentioned it." "Did my fan club meet today?" "I thought you guys only met on Wednesdays." "Look, she was bummed you didn't tell her about the trip." "And then you took turns sticking pins in your Logan dolls?" "No." "I told her that's just how you are." "Crack her open." "We're celebrating." "I was offered another internship." "People are just falling all over themselves to not pay you." "It's a good feeling." "So this one is at a radio station." "KRAC, right here in Neptune." " All right." " It's not as glamorous as the Pitchfork gig." "And it's Top 40, which makes my parts hurt." "But it's radio." "I don't know." "And Pitchfork is music I'm into." "It's New York." "Which is good." "And bad." "What do you wanna end up doing?" "Like, in the long run." "I wanna be in radio." "Then you should take whatever internship will get you there." "Hello?" "Kizza, good news." "Can you catch the redeye?" "Hi, Apollo?" "It's Veronica." "I've got something else I need to talk to you about." "Yeah, Veronica." "I'm glad you called." "I wanted to talk to you too." "Could you come meet me at the library?" "Sheriff Mars." " As I live and breathe." " Liam." "Thanks for stopping by." "Well, the deputy you sent asked so politely." " Please, take a seat." " Okay." "Good." "I had one of your boys in here earlier." "Tommy Shaw." "He was trying to unload goods stolen from this string of burglaries." "How's Tommy doing these days?" "I don't think I've seen that boy since his mother's wake back in aught-five." "You're working on a third strike, Liam." "You might consider quitting while you're ahead." "Keith, we both know my trip down here wouldn't have been voluntary... if you had anything." "Nothing yet." "But I'm gonna keep picking off your flunkies." "Eventually, one of them is gonna trade me 10 years for your name." "Now, a word of caution." "Don Lamb's no longer in charge here." "Speaking ill of the dead, Keith?" "Because from what I understand, this crime wave doesn't let up... you won't be in charge long either." "Of course, maybe these robberies will stop... if I find out what happened to Kendall Casablancas and my money." "Kendall's dead." "I suspect your brother buried her in a shallow grave in the desert." "As for the money, it was never yours." "I wouldn't bother unpacking." "Veronica, glad you can make it." "There's someone I want you to meet." "This is Wilson Behan." "Editor of the Free Press." " He requested an interview." " Hey, Veronica." "I don't remember assigning you to do a story on Apollo." "Well, I'm gonna let you two sort this out." "All right." "I wasn't assigned to you by the school paper." "The truth is, I work as a private investigator... and I was hired by a man who believes he's your father." "Who is he?" "His name is Kizza Oneko." "He had this." "It's a letter telling Kizza... to take an opportunity to leave Uganda for America." "The war had separated them." "Kizza says he left not knowing your mother was pregnant." "Recognize the handwriting?" "The grocery list I showed you... my hometown paper printed it." "This Kizza person simply forged this." "We'll prove his paternity, one way or the other, with a blood test." "No." "We won't." "It's not the ethics of what Max is doing that bothers me." "At least I can rationalize that away." "I guess I had it filed away in my head as a college lark." "A unique way for a philosophy major to make some extra cash." "And in its own way, it showed all these qualities I admire." "He's dedicated." "He's got a keen business sense." "And, let's face it, he's good at what he does." "Help people cheat." "Yeah, that." "But when he said he was flunking and he didn't care..." "He was gonna get an off-campus apartment... and keep doing what he does." " it was like looking into a crystal ball, and I didn't like what I saw." "What did you see?" "Me, falling completely in love with him, losing all reason." "Ending up hosting candle parties and selling family heirlooms on eBay." " I have the potential to go down that road." " No." "I do." "Love makes me lazy." "It's a dangerous drug." "It kills more brain cells than crystal meth." "How's your cell count these days?" "I can still do long division but I can't quite remember all the continents." "So Pizneyland is the happiest place on Earth?" "Happy enough." "There's no roller coaster." "But I think I can do without the adrenaline and nausea." "Hi, it's Veronica Mars." "I'm trying to track down Apollo." "I've left several messages on his cell phone." "Oh, I'm sorry." "Yeah, he hasn't been around." " Any idea where he might be?" " Olympia's, maybe?" "You know who might know is Zeke Mulinda." "He's one of the guys from the African Student Alliance." "Oh, wait, you know what?" "I don't think they're even speaking anymore." "They had some sort of falling out." "Have you checked with Dr. Tonon?" "I mean, she's practically his mom." "That'll get me started." "Thanks, bye." " You must be Kizza." " Yes." " I'm looking for Detective Mars." " I'm Detective Mars." "You're just a girl." "You're a teenager." "A girl, a teenager and a private detective." "I'm a triple threat." "Barely fits on my business card." "You're the person who is arranging the meeting with my son?" "I am." "Unfortunately, your son isn't as available as I thought he would be." "I'm having trouble locating him right now." "But I have several leads." "We've been pretty vocal supporters of your candidacy, Keith." "It's becoming more difficult." "There are others at the homeowners association... suggesting we should bring in Mr. Van Lowe, see what he's all about." "I appreciate the heads-up, Carl." "I think we're on the right track." "It may take some time." "The election's in two weeks." "You don't have time." "Here's the data you asked for, Keith." "What kind of home-security system you got, Carl?" " Safe House." " You might wanna replace it." " Hey, can we talk for a second?" " I have a class." "I don't wanna get into the whole thing." "There's no "whole thing." I wanna talk to you." "About the surf trip." "Fine." "Kissing is cheating, and what I don't know will hurt me." "You should come with me." "You want me to come to South America with you and Dick?" "I meant it when I said... that I didn't think about being away from you for three months." "Now I have." "I have to process things." "That's just what I'm like." "Oh, my God." "Olympia, you wouldn't happen to know where I might find Apollo?" "I know he's avoiding you." "Veronica, I think he should meet the guy." "Get tested." "If I see him again, I'll keep working on him." "I wish I could help you." "To tell you the truth, I'm starting to worry about him." "Will you let me know if you find him?" " Hi, Zeke?" " Yes." "I'm Veronica." "I'm trying to find Apollo Bukenya." "You're looking in the wrong place." "We don't talk anymore." "I heard." "This was kind of last-ditch." "Sorry to bother you." "What do you need him for?" "I'm doing a story on him." "In that case, I've got your lead." "He didn't write Soldier of Misfortune." "His adviser did." "He knows it, and he knows I know it." "So Apollo told his adviser the story of his life and she wrote the book?" "Not exactly." "The stories in Apollo's book are true for many others." "They simply didn't happen him." "He was never conscripted." "Zeke was Apollo's roommate freshman year." "He says Apollo told him all about his life." "But until Soldier of Misfortune came out... it never included anything about being a child soldier in the LRA." "So, what should I do?" "I don't know." "Nothing?" "I'm serious, Veronica." "It's a fact that there are child soldiers in Africa." "There's this organization, Invisible Children... that sends volunteers over to Uganda to help protect the kids there." "They have a booth up at the job fair." "There was a crowd gathered around it today about five-people deep." "I think I'm missing the point." "Everyone is there because of Apollo's book." "If you expose his book as a hoax..." "I promise you'll be killing a lot more than his literary career." "Hello?" "Veronica, hi, it's Olympia." "I just saw Apollo." "He's heading back to his room." "I think he's ready to talk." "No, no." "Are you kidding me?" "What about the first check?" "But I've already..." "So they're just gonna pull the plug?" "Just like that?" "Fine." "Fine, I have lawyers too." "Sorry." "Is this a bad time?" "No, now's fine, just give me a second to take my laundry out of the machine... before someone steals it." "I can wait." "Pull the plug?" "Lawyers?" "Checks?" "To whom, pray tell, was the young Mr. Bukenya speaking?" "Hit "redial."" "Silver Pictures." "Looks like Soldier of Misfortune won't be coming to a theater near you." "This man who claims to be my father." "Olympia convinced me, I want to meet him." " I'll take the blood test." " I'll arrange it." "Hello, son." "Dad?" "What, they just let you in my room?" " I am paying for it, after all." " Really?" "I thought hundreds of saps who invested in your company were paying for it." "I feel better about myself already." "I turned myself in." "My lawyer made all the arrangements." "I have a couple months before my incarceration." "I'm tired of running, Dick." "I wanna pay my debt to society and get it over with." "And what kind of debt did your lawyer negotiate?" "A year." "That's what this biker I went to high school with got... for stealing the Huntington's lawn jockey." "It's good to be the king, huh?" "I'll consider our societal flaws during my yard time in the big house." "I turn myself in at the end of August... but at least we have a few months before then." "I've rented a room a couple floors down." "I wanna spend as much time as possible with you." "I'm gone for most of summer." " I'm going on this surf trip..." " Surf trip?" "I'm going to jail, Dick." "I know." "I'm sorry, I just..." "The only chance to be with your father and you're talking about a surf trip?" "Silver Pictures?" "What is Silver Pictures?" "It's a company that makes movies." "My point is, there's not going to be a movie of Soldier of Misfortune." "There's not going to be a big check." "I suspect Oprah may tear Apollo a new one on national TV." " What does Oprah have to do...?" " Mr. Oneko." "If you tracked down Apollo in hopes of finding financial security..." "I'm urging you to simply walk away." "He needs people around him who care about him." " lf that's not you, I can't let..." " Miss Mars... had it not been for the war, I never would have left Uganda." "I came to New York... a place where I had no friends, no family, as a means of survival." "I'm still alive, but I've been alone for 21 years." "I drive a cab." "I go to school." "But I am lonely." "If this is my son... please, let me be there to comfort him in this difficult time." "I don't think he's coming." "He'll be here." "You ever notice how the stained wood has the effect of shrinking the space?" "I'm thinking something more of an eggshell, really open it up in here." "I should probably write that down." "Anyway, what can I do for you, Keith?" "I don't suppose, Vinnie, you've noticed a criminal element in town... that would really love to see you as sheriff?" "What can I say?" "I'm a walking big-tent party." "Must be why the girls from the secretarial pool gave me that nickname." "What do you know about Safe House Security Systems?" "Hey, Sacksy, mind running out and getting a latte?" "I can have him get you something as well." "Safe House?" " Yeah, I did some consulting work for them." " You did." "Did you know all seven homes that have been burglarized subscribe to Safe House?" "Quite a "co-inky-dink."" "You and the Fitzpatricks are the prime beneficiaries of those robberies." "I think you're colluding with them." "Well, Keith, you are certainly entitled to your theory." "Question is... can you prove it?" "It's been an hour." "I'm so sorry, Apollo." "Sorry for what?" "I expect nothing, so I am rarely disappointed." "So did you tell this Kizza person that I am a fraud?" "And that I won't be coming into money as all the articles say?" " I told him there was that possibility." " Good." "Thank you." "You did your part." "What do you mean, my part?" "Soldier of Misfortune." "The story is mine." "I wrote every word of it." "I needed to know whether this Kizza gentleman would show... regardless of my stature and financial situation." " So everything I told him was..." " Disinformation." "A plan to separate those I can trust from those I can't." "A plan like so many others." "Zeke is actually a very good friend of mine." "Take care." "Mars Investigations." "So Veronica, why is there a detainee in my jail named Kizza Oneko... who asked for his one phone call to be made to you?" "Apollo." "Wait." "Why is he being detained?" "He was picked up driving a rental with plates from a stolen car." "Apollo." "Mr. Oneko." "I'm happy we have this chance to meet." "As am I. Overjoyed, in fact." "I'm not surprised your mother named you for the god of music." "She had a book of mythology that she treasured." "I remember it well." "It is the book she used to teach me how to read." "Father..." "Would you like to hear about your mother as the young girl that I fell in love with?" "Are you sure you wanna do this?" "It's quite a commitment." "And Africa is a long way away." "I'm positive." "I come with tales from the outside world." "Hey." "Oh, and I brought these for you." "I was passing through the job fair and..." "Apparently, there are careers that a philosophy degree prepares you for." "So just thought I'd grab them, just in case." " I guess we need to talk about this, huh?" " Yeah, maybe." "Here's the thing." "I make about 1500 a week doing something I like." "I'm gonna be doing this for a while." "Not forever, but for a while." "I hope that doesn't change things for you." "I wish that it didn't, but it kind of does." "Well, that sucks." "Yeah." "But I'm not sure how much it changes things." "I want us to keep seeing each other." " Great." " I just can't do... the blissful love-shack thing anymore." "I need to get back to my regularly scheduled life." "Is that cool?" "So do you have to get back to reality now or?" "No." " No, I got a couple hours." " Good." "Son." "Just so you know, the world doesn't stop because you decided to show up." "If I knew it was interfering with surfing, I'd have come sooner." "Like maybe for Cassidy's funeral?" "This is where he died, you know." "I walk by the spot he splattered on every day." " You think I'm not sorry about Cassidy?" " What are you sorry for, Dad?" " That he's dead?" " Of course." "You ever think he's dead because of us?" "Or he killed because of us?" "We used to have contests to see which one of us could make him cry." "I can barely live with myself sometimes... and it's so much easier when you're not around." "Hey, listen." "About our summer plans..." "You're gonna think this is uncool, but I kind of broke down..." " I can't go." " What?" "Yeah, the trip's not gonna happen." "My dad's back." "He wants me to spend time with him before he goes to jail." "I get it, man." "Sorry for screwing up your summer, you know." "Hey, I was just gonna call you." "I told my parents." "They freaked out." "It was the best feeling." "What's wrong?" "The trip's off." "Dick's dad came back into town, and he can't go." "So I guess we're not going then?" "He was footing half the bill for the house." "It would just be really expensive." "And it was a thing me and Dick were planning on together." "I understand." "Yeah?" "I guess I'm going to Denver then." "Dad, check this out." " I'm Vincent Van Lowe." " Oh, no." "I was born in Neptune." "I live in Neptune." "My friends and family live in Neptune." "That's why what happens in our city concerns me so much." "There's nothing more important than the safety of our children." " Vinnie has kids?" " None that he's aware of." "And the security of our homes." "I'm Vincent Van Lowe." "And I'm asking for your vote." "Vincent Van Lowe has been endorsed by the Neptune Homeowners Association." "From the ridiculous to the sublime, Apollo and Kizza's blood test checked out." "No surprise." "Hello?" "Sure." "It's for you." "Hello?" "Really?" "That's incredible." "Thank you." "I'm in." "The FBI has chosen me for their summer internship." "Yes." "Talk about making up for that crappy Pl-exam score." "You did it, honey." "My daughter the fed." "Twelve fun-filled, pay-free weeks of schlepping coffee and office supplies... at the Federal Bureau of Investigation." "Ice cream." " I can't believe it." " It's in Virginia, right?" "Yeah." "There is a war happening right now in Northern Uganda." "Children are being kidnapped and forced to fight as child soldiers." "And a thousand people die every week... due to the conditions of the displacement camps." "Please go to invisiblechildren. com... and use your time, talent and money to become a part of this story's end."