"THE DECLINE OF THE MASCULINE EMPIRE" "If you're lost, we can ask for help, there's no shame." "If you knew how long it's been since I was here..." "Yeah, it shows." "If Lucy is here, chronologically I should be able to work it out." "In 80 years, they must have changed a few things." "Here, take my phone." "I remember it was a huge beast with bushy eyebrows, horrible, big, covered in fur..." "Here!" "Ladies and gentlemen..." "It's not as impressive as I remember, but it will do, no?" " It's pathetic." " When's your presentation?" "In a fortnight." "Well, Dad will find a solution." "Dad always finds solutions." "Come on!" "EXHIBIT UNDER RESTORATION" " Will you lend me it?" " No, you'll damage it." "Your book's great, you're so lucky." " You don't like your dinosaurs?" " Yes, thank you, Dad!" "Hey, Mom, look!" "No "Thank you, Dad" or "Mum, look how great dad is."" "I'll confiscate it all if you're not in pyjamas in two seconds." "Hello." " You OK?" " Yes." "Isn't that stuff full of salt?" "I just got in, I barely had time to defrost something." "I'm exhausted." "I need to talk to you." "The head of the Asian market's leaving the firm." "Don't ask me why, but they insist that a woman takes his place." " Great!" " Yes." "I'm just one of the finalists." "There would be a trial period where basically" "I'd have to work full time without earning more." "But then, with bonuses and profit-sharing, my salary would be astronomical." "So we could move and I'd get a room all to myself?" "And a games room!" "And a dog!" "Yeah, and a pony too, of course!" "A whole bunch of really great stuff." "In the meantime, let's eat!" "Bon appétit!" "Right, then." "I'll mark in yellow the times when you take care of the girls and the house." "In blue, the times when I need you to replace me." "Well, that's all the time!" "And in pink, times of uncertainty with a risk of last-minute meetings." "As you can see, it messes up a lot of stuff..." "So in the mornings, I'm sorry my love, but it may be hard for you to sleep in and compose at night." "WAKE UP THE MONSTERS!" "You can't stay in bed till noon." "As for me, I worked out that I need between 40 and 45 minutes..." "Dad, I've lost my shoes!" "..between waking the girls and taking them to school." "Put your seat belts on." "There is no reason why you should do any worse." "Satchels..." " Shite!" " You said a bad word!" "Especially as Violette is big now." " That's a euro in the box!" " She should be able to give you a hand." " I heard "shit"!" " I said "shite"!" "It's the same!" "It's still a dirty word, and it still costs a euro!" "Sorry, but it was you who introduced the rule!" " We'll ask Mum to arbitrate." " She said no swearing!" "Upsy-daisy!" "I can assure you, if you went to bed too late, you can always take a nap in the morning." "But..." "What shall I say?" "It'd be nice if you did some shopping, tidying and cleaning, otherwise I'm not sure how we'll cope." "Coming!" "It still leaves you time for your classes from early afternoon until late afternoon." " From the heart!" "Schubert wrote this on his deathbed!" "Sorry, but no, in fact, your timeframe is early afternoon until the end of school." "Yeah, but hey, I haven't said yes." " No, you didn't say yes." " Yes..." "Uh, no, I didn't say yes." "At the same time, you didn't say yes, but... ..it's not like you have a lot of things to do right now, is it?" "Adèle, your hands are so dirty they look like feet!" "Wash them." "And you could lay the table instead of harassing your lover!" "I did, and I don't have a lover." "He's called Hamidou." "Fuck you!" "Hami is a friend!" "I just said that if he turned 18 with no papers," " I'd marry him." " Meanwhile that will cost you one euro!" " Dad, I can't turn off the tap!" " I know." "This place is useless!" "What'll we do with the money?" "We'll buy you an apartment where you can live" " with Hamidou." " LOL!" "Thank you." "Come on, give me your hand." "Stop." "1, 2, 3!" "Surprise!" "It has a candle to celebrate your one week of your new job!" "You are angels!" "Thank you!" "In my first weekly report, they say I could be a real killer." "And they want to give me two new territories." "Two!" "Wow..." "You're asleep standing up." "I'll put you to bed." " Wow, you're heavy!" " Camille!" "Can you leave me some money" " for the shopping?" " I'll put it on the hall table." "Simon!" "Simon!" "Wake up!" "I'm in a hurry." "I forgot my phone." "What about the children?" "Help me!" "I'm already gone!" "I put the washing on." "Can you take care of it?" "Girls!" "I'm for it, my presentation was this morning!" " What?" "What day is it?" " The 15th!" "And buy some more milk!" "And Speculoos," "Chocapics, shampoo for lice and..." "And wake us up earlier!" "Yeah!" "OK, OK!" "What the hell..." "Mireille, it's Simon." "I'm not sure how to say this." "Help!" "So..." "There!" "I'll get her underwear and wash it at home." "You might make a mess of it." "She left like before you had the kids?" "She knows how to enjoy life, my daughter." " Mireille." " Yes?" "Something's wrong." "I don't know what, but... something's not right." "Really?" "What's that annoying noise?" " The tap in the kitchen." " You're over-dramatising." "Why didn't you call someone?" "Because I should be able to do it." "Because I can't find a plumber without waiting a month." "Don't you know Pablo?" "Pablo is available, competent..." "He'll be here within the hour." "You need to rest, Simon." "You look exhausted." "I'll come back later to give you a hand and bring you some Tupperwares." "Adèle loves gazpacho!" "OK." "That's nice." "It's Mum who can fly with her own wings, and the hunter who wants to cut off her head because she's a real killer." "Is that Grandpa Charles?" "The little guy?" "Is it me?" " Hi." " Hi." " Where is she?" " Who?" "The babysitter." "Didn't you get my message?" "No." "We're invited to dinner at my old friend from Language school." "Antoine." "I was between meetings, I completely forgot to tell you." "Call and cancel!" "Oh, no, I really want to go." "I'll take over this weekend, but I really need to see people." "Gazpacho?" "Did you make it?" "What do we do with the kids if we go out?" "We can ask my parents." "My mother would love to see you." "No!" "The little one has lice, and Violette's sulking" " because she only got 11." " Because I arrived late!" "Then there's her singing lesson." "It really doesn't matter if I don't have it." "Tomorrow's Saturday." "They can stay at their grandparents'." " Say yes!" " No..." "Say yes!" "This side." " What happened to the car?" " Huh?" "No!" "But the girls were delighted to sleep here!" "It's true, Granny!" "You're not going to make me change my mind!" "You should have warned me." " Tonight I can't." " Really?" "Does Dad know?" "Am I accountable to you?" "You never have been." "Nice highlights, Mireille." "They make you look Spanish..." "How dare you..." " Dad?" " Grandpa?" " He slipped on the step again." " Grandpa, are you OK?" "That will teach him not to fix it." "I'm OK." "It'll take more than that to kill me." "Are the girls sleeping here?" " No!" "I'm going out!" " Two tickets for..." "Who's that singer?" "Donna Ross!" "Diana Ross!" "Her big comeback!" "We've got two tickets." "They're yours!" "We saw her in '71." "She was fabulous!" " Well?" " I want the tickets here" " tomorrow morning, first thing!" " You'll have them!" "Know what Violette would say?" "You nailed it!" "I thought of Tina Turner." "Then I confused Diana Ross with Donna Summer, but it worked." " It's good to go out together." " And it gives us a chance to talk." "It'd be nice to get some help with the girls." "Given what happened last time, I'd rather not." "Well, yes..." "Sweetie!" "Hello!" "Thank you." " What a comfortable couch!" " You think so?" "It's the old collection, I was going to change it." " He doesn't understand." " Really?" "He's saying that it's the work of the designer Ming-Jung Kuo, famous in Taipei." " And a looker!" " It's very nice." "Isn't it hard to clean, though?" "No!" "I have a Sri Lankan butler." "He inflates them with helium." "A Sri Lankan?" "We were just talking about getting one for the children." "Well, let's eat." "Dig in, it's all handmade." "There's bluefin tuna." "It comes from Australia, It's delicious." "Temaki, maki..." " Delicious!" " Bon appétit." " Got any sake to go with it?" " Oh, I forgot the sake." "Antoine's cooking impresses the girls!" "I slept with my last boss." "It caused a stink and I was let go." "Fortunately with benefits!" "The happiest jobless man in France!" "Did you say something?" "No." "Just that I find my wife beautiful." "Yes, she's lovely." "Using my computer?" "I'm writing an ad for new students." "Oh, great." "You can tell me now." "Did you fall for his sushi back in the day?" "Because he said you looked older than you are?" "Yeah." "Thirteen years of marriage!" "I'm not doing bad, am I?" "What do you think?" "Your rolls of fat are really cute." "You should mention them in your ad." "Yeah, yeah." "Is that the echo of a little yes I hear?" "It's the Kyoto office." "They need the figures for Monday morning." "So deliver them on Monday." "Monday there is Sunday here." "It'll take me all weekend." " Say your phone was switched off." " I know at least two girls who are ten years my junior with no kids who'd love to spend the weekend with the big boss." "I don't like it either." "Goodnight." "Simon!" "Where are you?" "Didn't you hear them knocking?" " No." " Adèle had a nightmare." "There was no-one in Granny's room." "And Grandpa was snoring so loudly" " that we walked home." " I see." " I'll put them to bed." " Yeah." "My mother's insane!" "Leaving them alone to go out!" "Violette said she'd given them sleeping pills." "She could be had up for that!" "They couldn't sleep because your father was snoring." "I know your mother, it was just St.-John's-wort." "They came home alone in the middle of the night!" "Something worse could have happened." "Really?" "What?" "They could have been attacked by a beast." "Don't ask me why, but don't leave me alone with the girls." "Why?" "Because they have lice!" "Because I have them all week!" "And because your mother could..." "No way!" "I don't know what you two are playing at, but you can remove all the Tupperwares from the freezer." "Starting today, boycott!" "Girls!" "Give me a kiss, I'm off!" "Stay where you are." "I'm waiting for a student, turn that off!" "TV makes you stupid." "And go to your rooms!" "Come on, Adèle, let's chat with paedophiles online." "Ha-ha-ha." "You work on your English!" "I don't like English." "And don't make any noise!" "You're an asshole." "You're a coward!" "You've got a small dick and no balls." "Yeah." "You've got no balls!" "Shall I say it again?" " She told me to measure up." " She told you what?" "Yeah." "I've wasted enough time with a loser like you, you midget." "I'll have the pleasure of never seeing you again!" "Exactly!" "That's right." "Goodbye, and don't call me back, thank you!" "Fuck!" "I tell you, some guys really have got a nerve!" " Did Camille tell you?" " Tell me what?" "After what her mother did, I understand she wants to leave." "So I'll start by taking a look around and measuring up." "I'll start in here." " Sophia!" "What are you doing here?" " Hi, girls!" " You OK?" " Give us a kiss!" "No, your mother said you had lice." "We'll kiss next time." "Can you stay with us a while?" " What's this?" " Going already?" "What is this thing?" " You fixed the tap, I see!" " Yes, yes, yes." "I'll be honest with you." "It is not very well done in terms of moving between rooms, but it's still a three-roomed apartment and they're in demand, so I think I could sell it in under a month." "A month?" "No!" "Camille isn't stupid, either." "She asked me to wait until she landed the job." "But hey, she'll get it, right?" "I admire you, you know!" "I admire you!" "Some guys would take it badly." "But you stay here, you keep quiet." " You play the piano all day..." " Sophia, the piano is my job!" "Yes, but you're here, you take care of the house." " You play with..." " I'm expecting a student who pays me very well for one-on-one tuition." " But I haven't finished!" " Then come back!" "Girls!" "Sophia is taking you out!" "I come in." "I put my bag on the hall table." "I hang up my coat." "I approach the room and I say:" "You're not asleep?" "I'm coming!" "And I cross the hall to the kitchen to get a glass of water." "I come back." "I ask for a logical and rational explanation." "What happened?" "I put a heavy a dish in the microwave and the shelf fell on the toaster, which was plugged into the same outlet as the mixer and they all fell on all the dishes." "I fixed what I could, but for the rest we'll need Charles." "It was a rotten day in any case." "Camille, what do you think of me?" " Oh, not tonight, please." " No, I mean how do you find me?" "What do you want me to say?" "That we work like mad, buy stuff, eat, sleep and seek meaning in life when there is none?" "You look tired." "I'm sorry." "It's far from over." "OK." "We'll put the kids in the centre on Wednesdays, OK?" "You can have time for yourself and see people." "You should see some friends." "What friends?" "Braces." "You're good to go!" " We're not wearing a box?" " Box?" " Hello." " To protect what?" "Hi!" "Regulars." "Whenever we meet we say we should all get together, but we never have." "The small one's the type who looks better in the dark!" "Yeah, but you're single." "My dad said women always had one breast bigger than the other, usually the left." " I want to test the theory." " Yeah." "I guess you get a lot of offers, huh?" "I'm not complaining." "But it's always married women." "Bend and lift..." "On one leg!" "Ouch!" "The first time you always think it hurts." "But in fact it's nothing." " Great." " Come on!" "Nice even stance." "What did I say?" "The tip of your sword up." "A tap on the head." "Get on the line." "Here we go!" "Don't be so soft, Simon." "False start." "Let's go." "Ready?" " Ouch!" " Stop being a sissy." "There!" "You need to relax." "You seem stressed." "Come on, now show me what you have in your stomach." "Don't be afraid." "I've shown it doesn't hurt." "Camille was right" " when she said you had no stamina." " Ouch!" "Fuck!" "Come on." "You OK?" "Come on, get up!" "I know, Mireille." "I know what we said." "But you drugged them!" "It's an emergency!" "I can't go to the hospital and pick up the kids." "Mireille?" " I don't believe it!" "She hung up!" " Really?" " She must be a woman of character!" " Yeah." "I'll get the kids if you want." "Then you can get treated." "With my dad's badge I can take the bus lanes," "I'll be there in ten minutes." " OK." " OK, see you later." "Well?" "It's a fracture." "It's in plaster for two weeks." "When Chiara broke her collarbone, hers went down to there!" "Antoine's car is great." "There's a button that makes the roof close on its own." "I've had eleven texts since we left school!" "That car was always a girl trap." "But never that young!" "OK, now say thank you to Antoine for picking you up while Dad was in a hospital full of psychopaths." " Can't he stay with us tonight?" " Oh, yes!" "No, because he has things to do" " and people to see." " Yeah, I'll go." "Bye, my darlings." "Sorry for not asking you to stay." "I've a piano lesson to prepare and a dinner to give." "Or the opposite." " I bet it's her!" " Who?" "Mireille, right?" "Yes, but I don't know how the photo didn't end up in the trash." " See you in two weeks." " Yeah." "Why didn't you want him to stay?" "I don't want to sing." "I gave in last time." "Now put your phone down and let's do it." "Lighter!" "It's about angels!" "Heavenly spirits!" "It should be airy, you sing like a mammoth!" " When Schubert wrote this..." " I'm bored with Schubert!" "I told you to turn off the phone!" "It'll stop by itself." "Let's start again." "You got it wrong!" "I'm not in the mood." " Violette!" " I'm just seeing who it is!" " Shit, Violette!" " A euro in the box!" "You're completely crazy!" "You're nuts!" "I'm sorry." " She'll have a big scar!" " No!" "I'm sorry, Violette." "I got angry." " I'm bleeding!" " What?" "Open up!" "You OK?" "What's wrong?" "Where does it hurt?" "There." "Where does she keep them?" " Leave me a message." " Camille, call me back fast!" "Where are they?" "No, not there." "I want to see Mum!" "It's not possible!" "This is not the time!" "I want you to call Granny, then!" "That's not possible either!" "Dad will find a solution!" "Dad always finds solutions." "Be right back!" "What are you doing here?" "Why didn't you tell me?" "Don't you know what it means for a girl?" "I didn't call you because you're not welcome here." "If Camille comes back..." "When I called you about my arm, you were in no hurry." "Just as well, because a favour from you..." "You also can't stand that I don't want to lock myself away at 59?" " That's not the point." " Sixty-four." "You mean 64, Mum." "What's she doing here?" "Simon had nothing to do with it." "I'll leave you." "I want her to stay." "Me." "I want her to stay." "We agreed never to touch them!" "She had her first period." "Do you understand?" "That's not how it happened!" "She was unbearable." "And before, there was this." "Thanks for your concern." "It's all that Antoine's fault!" "Sorry?" "What's he got to do with it?" "He came and excited them with his sweets and his turtles." " We should stop seeing him." " That won't be possible." "I just offered him a job as my assistant." "I need an ally, he's capable and motivated." "And I have no say I suppose?" "And your mother, what we do?" "Lift the boycott?" "We'll call a truce." "Just a truce." "What is that?" "A bull with a man above?" "A bull by the horns?" "Antoine?" "Me." "What?" "No, no." "OK, but not violence." "I know that in your time that's how it worked, but..." "The world has changed." "Men have changed!" "Nowadays, there are less brutal methods to reclaim women." "For example, you can..." "GIRLS' DINNER" "I'm hungry!" "Oh, the big guns!" "This is lovely." "I'm not sure about your apron, but still..." "It's the Venus de Milo." "A gift from your mother!" "She didn't like you that day." "I made it." " Amazing!" " For your girls' night." "It wasn't easy with my cast." "It's nice of you but I eat sushi in the canteen every day." "What is your idea of a girls' night?" "It's an evening where you meet up with other girls and talk about stuff." "What kind of things?" "Camille, if you leave your women's magazines lying around, he's bound to think" " that girls are idiots too." " I don't leave them lying around." "And if I organised a guys' evening, would it be beer, football and crisps?" "He's trying to make amends, right?" " Yeah, what did you do?" " What are you talking about?" "You think girls just sit around giggling?" "I never said that!" "He just wants to know what girls say when the guys are not there." " He's like all boys." " Ah, so that's it!" "I may not be the brightest, but I know one who likes to look." "You think I didn't see you looking?" " Little rascal!" " Not at all!" " You're obsessed!" " It's an instinct." "A guy can't see a pair of tits without going..." "I agree!" "If a guy took his cock out in the street, we wouldn't look." "I would." "Ever since I was little." "You, for example." "You can't resist your primitive reflexes, it's your nature!" "Of course I can resist my instincts!" "I'm not an animal!" "Not even for an evening!" "I bet you can't resist even for an evening!" " Ouch!" " OK." "It's a bet." "OK, so if you lose your bet, since you love that apron, I suggest you wear it for a week," " even outside." " OK." "However, if I win, you don't hire Antoine." "I say yes, yes and thrice yes!" "Your bet is completely stupid." " I just have to stay out of here." " Out!" "Girls' night!" "Go away!" "I'm entitled to my privacy!" "Come in!" "Look who's here." "Hide your breasts, Penelope." "The wine." " And the soy sauce?" " Don't have any!" "Then put that down and out you go, or we'll scalp you." "I'll put this light on, for atmosphere." "Girls' atmosphere." " Farewell, Antoine." " I like you anyway." " He's a college buddy I hired..." " I await your trap, ladies." "You attack him, but your guy is really great." "Yeah, it's true he's weird at times, but he's a gem." "Maybe, but he annoys me, all guys annoy me right now." "Let's drop it." "Anyway, if you want a good laugh about my shitty life with guys," "I can tell you that the last one was really hot." "Careful, you might offend Camille." "She's fierce." "Try working in a firm where guys bash you because you're a woman." "Let me tell you about Hyppolite with his small, muscular ass." "Hold on." "It's not because he goes to the gym." "What's that noise?" "The fact is, he's a construction worker." "When he holds you, you feel tiny." "He's got broad shoulders and he has a huge cock!" "Penelope, he's the kind of guy you like, right?" "I like guys with faults." "I realise that." "Though I give him a hard time," "I find him very attractive." "And you said he's great in bed." "Plus, he's married, so if you lent him to me, he wouldn't even stay the night, which is fine by me!" "I hope you don't mind me being so honest." "No, I'm very glad you're so honest." " Sophia, do you fancy Simon?" " Yes." "The first time I saw him, I thought he was handsome." "Promise me this will stay between us, I'm his!" "All his!" "Simon thinks I'm bourgeois, but the idea of him screwing you two, even together, excites me." "Men today don't understand that we want to be taken." "They're too timid!" "Can you let me pass, please?" "Please!" "Thank you." "Yes?" "Dessert." "You lose!" "Very clever." "We win!" "I've been looking for you for three days." "I didn't think you were the type to make me seek you out." "You're teaching me a lesson, right?" "You're hardly in a position to do so." "I read it in Violette's book." "American researchers say that because women stayed in the caves, they invented rock painting." "Know what else they say?" "They were shopping lists of what they wanted to eat." "Maybe you're right." "I should have listened to you." "But you know the truth." "They have always been in charge." "It was true then as now." "An interesting theory." " Charles?" " I didn't know you liked palaeoanthropology." "It's a new thing." "Not for me it isn't." "There was a time when I wanted to re-invent myself, to find my inner beast." "We can learn much from our ancestors." " I find it rather overwhelming." " It depends whether you put up with them or try to listen to them." "I'm not sure it was a good idea for me to come here." "I'm going to get some air." "It will do me good." "The airport strike is intensifying, with Air France most affected." " I'm really late." " Where's my milk?" "In the fridge, I expect." "Dad, there's no toilet paper!" "You're late, too." " I've plenty of time." " I can't do everything." "Dad, what are you doing?" "What's going on?" " I'm on strike today." " Dad!" "You're not taking them to school?" "As far as I'm concerned, you can take them yourself." "And ask one of their friend's parents to bring them back." "I'll leave it to you." " Dad!" " Violette!" "Coming!" "You can't strike if you don't work." "You don't want my help, so you should be pleased." "How long will it last?" "Until the New Order." "Girls!" "We're coming!" "Come in!" "Oh, it's you." "Hi." "Here are the apartments I found for you." "I found two in Paris." "Talk to Camille about it." "I'm doing nothing." "I'm on strike." " How's the wrist?" " Much better." "Check this out." "About the other night." "We were drunk." "I hope you're not angry." "You kidding?" "I'm above all that." "I know it was a joke." "You know how it is." "I won't bother to show you out." "What will I do tomorrow?" "You're..." "Camille?" "Not on phone strike, then?" "I just wondered if you had found someone to fetch your kids." "I asked my mother." "We had lunch with Antoine." " She found him charming." " Oh?" "He wants to have dinner." " It was nice the last time." " Oh, yes." "I see." "It's my strike, right?" "You're making me pay." "You're a pain." "If you like, we can invite Sophia too." "Sophia?" "That's an excellent idea." "What will we do with our children?" "They get on well with Mireille, so we'll make the most of it." " I'll let you go." " Think about the negotiations." "Yeah, right." "He's got it all: handsome, fit, and such good taste." " Yeah..." " Know what he said?" " No." " He wants to settle down." "Really?" "It's incredible how you quit smoking just like that, without help." "I've tried everything." "Drugs, hypnosis, acupuncture, even electronic cigarettes." " Are you listening?" " Just stub out your cigarette." "Come on." "You should try it." "It's great!" "No, thanks." "If I want to talk like a half-wit, I'd rather get drunk." "There's half a dozen bottles in the kitchen," " if you want." " My journey won't be wasted." "Coming?" "Antoine's ditching his sofa." "Tell him we want it." "It's too big." "If you had an upright piano, we could have more space" " and a new sofa." " We'll talk about it." "She told me about your strike." " I find it really funny!" " Yeah..." "You're no fun." "Oh, my head's spinning!" "Simon..." "Come on, Sophia!" "Don't you get upset too!" "It's a laugh!" "Stay there." "We can have a lie-in for once." "I'd forgotten the meaning of the word since the girls were born." "They'll pay for it." "I'm sorry." "I was really bad last night." "Let's see what we can do about that." "It's terrible what happened to his convertible." "An incredible accident." "Yeah." "But that kind of car is a little..." "I'd prefer something more rugged." "Simon Esich, you never cease to surprise me." "Your wife would like to talk to you." "Mum?" "Mum, what's going on?" "Is it Adèle?" " Violette?" " Your daughters are fine!" "Is it Charles?" "Is there a problem?" "He locked himself in his den yesterday." "He won't let me in." " What have you done now?" " Nothing!" "But you know your dad." "He says nothing, then one day" " he brings up the past." " Go and see him." "Charles!" "It's Simon!" " Why shut yourself away?" " To be on my own." "I suspect you knew about Mireille's exploits and said nothing." " Can I trust you?" " Of course." "We have to support each other, be on the same side, as allies." " You talk as if we were at war." " We're in danger!" "We have to resist, and I'm resisting." " You're resisting." " By not giving in on everything." "Giving them the last word." "It can be small things." "For example, fixing things for everyone except her." "The bottom step." "The bottom step?" "What..." "The one I tripped on the other day." "Mireille wanted it fixing for years." "I know she's right, but I won't let her be right." " Yes, I see." " What about you and my daughter?" "How do you mark your territory?" "I go on strike." "Yes." "But will that be enough?" "Nothing." " Camille?" " No, it's Antoine." "Antoine?" "What are you..." "Put Camille on, please." "As a friend I would, but as her assistant, she's busy." "But she's my wife!" "I'm sorry, Simon." "I have very strict orders." "OK, OK." "Just tell her I'd like to know why there is a..." "Hold on." "I'd like to know why there's a Sri Lankan in my lounge, and what your sofa is doing in our living room!" "Thank you!" "Are you angry about the sofa?" "I had a very interesting chat with Teddy." "Where he lives, they say yes by shaking their heads." "You must have mistaken me for a Sri Lankan." " Antoine insisted we try it out." " Antoine!" "Next time he stops me talking to you, I'll thump him!" "Whoa!" "I don't recognise you." "Come to the car park." "I've got a surprise for you." "The first two have arrived." "The last..." "You're right about the convertible." "We need a more rugged car." "You've got big, very big, a little less big." "Don't ask me the makes." " Camille Berger." " Willie." "Hello." "My husband, Simon Esich." "So, where shall we start?" "With you?" "Please." "I told you everything on the phone." "Lambskin interior." "In its prime." "Feel how soft it is." "The small of your back is heated." "I'm just back from Hossegor." "It changes your life." "Last time we were there, it was freezing." "He's right." "What happens when it's cold?" "This happens." "Oh, right!" "Can we talk?" " Shall we look at the others?" " I want to talk to you." "What are you playing at?" "We were broke." "Now a sofa, a boy, and this." "What's going on?" "Berthier quit yesterday." "There's every chance I'll get it." "I thought you'd be pleased." "That's not the point!" "You brought all three salesmen together!" "I see." "You think it's normal for three women to chase one job, but three men for one car is unthinkable." "I don't recognise you either, Camille." "You're going?" "No, I'm resisting." "It's different." "Simon!" " Camille Esich's secretary." " It's Simon." "My wife's mobile is busy." "Is she there?" "No, she went out." " Went out?" "For lunch?" " No." "She has meetings all afternoon." "All afternoon?" " Where's Antoine?" " He left with her." "With her?" "I see." "Any message?" "Anyone there?" "Antoine, open up!" "I know my wife is here!" " Simon?" " How did he get in?" " Camille, open up!" " Camille's not here!" " Stop rattling the door!" " Stop blocking it!" "It's a sliding door, Simon." " Simon!" " Mireille?" "Don't come in!" "Tell him to leave right now!" "Simon, wait!" "Two years ago I met a friend of my mother's who I liked as a kid." "I realised it was simple with old women." "They get what they want, they don't ask for commitment or kids, or to go to IKEA on Sundays." "Plus, at 60 a cuckolded husband is less dangerous than at 30 or 40." "You really thought I could sleep with Camille?" "I wonder if I wouldn't have preferred it." "I saw you as a conquering male." "Whereas now, if even guys like you give in, what hope is there for guys like me?" "I don't understand." "I don't understand what you're saying!" "Her shoes?" "You're Simon, and I'm Camille." "You want me to be Camille?" "Why not?" "Hello, Simon." "Did you have a good day?" "Been tidying up?" "Giving your piano lessons?" "I had a great evening with Antoine." "What class!" "What shall we do now?" "I couldn't do that to her." "You scared me." "You OK?" " I've got something to tell you." " Later." "Come here." "Well..." "I want you." "Get undressed." "We don't have time!" "The kids will be home..." " Take your coat off." " We don't have time." "What's wrong with you?" "Stop it!" "I don't like this!" "Stop!" "You're hurting me!" "Simon!" "You're hurting me!" "Are you mad, or what?" "Stop it!" "What are you doing, Dad?" "What?" "Can I pass?" "You'll have to cross the road." "You can't go in." "Can I go with him?" " We'll wait, but be quick." " I will." "Tell me you didn't do this." " Tell me it wasn't you!" " Are you crazy?" "The way you're behaving, is it any wonder?" "He's screwing half the town." "Anyone could have done it." "Even your mother." "You've no right to say that." "I don't know what's happening to you." "I don't know if it's my job, but if it is, we've had it." "I got my promotion." "That's what I wanted to tell you." "I don't know if you did it, and I don't care." "You're an unfit father." "So take your things and leave." "Charles, I don't know if you know, but..." "Camille and I are breaking up." "If you knew how many times Mireille kicked me out..." "You know, I haven't always been whiter than white." "Don't worry." "It will be OK." "Camille will find out that the fire was caused by a short-circuit." "An accident." "No-one will suspect that you, Simon Esich, would be capable of such a thing, given your technical abilities." "You?" "We have to fight." "There is nothing that can't be repaired." "You two are a disaster!" "Let me do it." " Go to bed." " Goodnight, Simon." "Thanks for not mentioning what you know." "Yeah." "You're a good person, Simon." "Goodnight, my son." "What are you trying to do?" "Console me?" "You could have set that fire." "You probably put the idea in Charles's head!" "For my own good?" "Nonsense!" "If being a man means losing the woman I love, keep your advice!" "No, you listen to me." "I know it's not normal that I can understand you." "I know you don't exist." "If I wanted to, I could make you speak normally." "Yes." "Go on." "Yes." "There you go." "Now take your skins and go back where you belong." "Thank you." "He slipped." "I didn't hear anything." "There's nothing we can do." "I've called the ambulance." "Better tell Camille." "We can't tell her on the phone." "I'll tell her, but come with me." "You can't stay here." "No." "Take my car and go alone." "I'd rather go with him." " Welcome to my kingdom." " Yes..." "It's... an office." "Camille, it's Charles." "Sure you won't stay?" "No, thank you, darling." "Mireille?" "No, Simon." "Charles is here." "Are you sure it's this way?" " Yes!" " No!" "It's the other way." " It's this way!" " No!" "I told you!" "Your dad contradicts the cliché that only men have a sense of direction." "Look!" "Here he is." "He's back." "We came to visit him." "Hold on." "Keep lookout!" " What?" " Keep lookout." "Watch out for a guard." "We can't!" "Yes, we can." "He was a personal friend of your grandfather's." "One of the family." "Hey!" "Move it!" "He moved!" "Don't talk nonsense!" "I swear he moved!" "SUBTITLES:" "RED BEE MEDIA FRANCE"