"I still remember it as if it were yesterday" "A cold and frosty November morning when Master Richie came into the world" "I have a son." "And I, Herbert Arthur Runcible Cadbury born in the tradition of service was to become his gentleman's gentleman or as you Americans would say, his butler" "Richie Rich was the long-awaited first child of Richard and Regina Rich and at 7 pounds, 6 ounces, was immediately proclaimed the wealthiest baby in the world" "Truly, Master Richie was born into a life of great wealth and privilege and yet, he was assuredly his parents' most valued treasure" "Can you say, "Wall Street"?" ""Wall Street"?" " Can you say, "blue chip"?" " Bunches and bunches of money." " That's how much mommy loves you." " Can you say, "convertible debenture"?" "From the day he left his cradle" "I undertook to show him all that was good in life" "And I am delighted to report that never was there a child with a sweeter disposition or a more spirited sense of play" "Although his father, the senior Richard Rich spent countless hours in his office, overseeing his vast business empire" "Rich to buy 100 million acres of jungle." "he still found time to share simple pleasures with his son" "Thank you, Cadbury." "Go and build it anyway." "As he grew, Master Richie developed a keen interest in sports" "Just a minute." "Great toss, son." " Beep beep, coming through." " He had everything a boy could want" "Although at the age of 3 his driving skills left something to be desired" "We have to have our Arab friends understand that." "Just a minute." "Nice throw, slugger." "With baseball, however, he displayed a quite precocious talent" "Next Tuesday, right." "which, as the years progressed became more than just a favorite pastime" "Not bad." "Let's try this this time." "I want you to get the back elbow up." "That a way." "Get the bat right here." "Shoulders square." "Nice level swing." "Keep your eye on the baseball." "okay, pitch." "Put some heat on it this time." "That's it." "Nice hitting, Richie." "Sorry, Charles!" "Good clubbing, Master Richie." "You're scoring loads of points." "They're called runs, Cadbury." "Runs." "of course." "But I'm afraid we must run, sir." " Can I have just one more inning?" " That really isn't possible." " Thank you, Mr. Jackson." " You're welcome, Richie." "Any time." "All right, pack it all up." "In addition to his life of fun and games, of luxury and privilege" "Master Richie was obliged to undertake responsibilities far beyond those" " of any normal child" " It's a great day for a celebration and a great day for United Tool!" "We're gonna wait for Mr. Rich because he said he'd be here." "Today marks a miracle of sorts here at United Tool." "This factory, once bankrupt, and 600 jobs about to disappear forever is now celebrating a new lease on life thanks to billionaire businessman and philanthropist Richard Rich." "And it looks like Richard Rich will be arriving here in moments." "Hi." "My dad couldn't make it, so he sent me." "I'm Richie." "Fellas, come on." "Let me through." "Welcome to United Tools, Richie." "My name is Dave Walter, the plant manager." "This is Diane Koscinski, our union rep." "Diane's gonna be making our presentation." " We're really glad you could come." " Me too." "This is Cadbury." " Master Richie's valet." " oh, a valet?" "Never met one of your type." "That doesn't altogether surprise me, madam." "Richie who?" "What planet you been living on?" "Richie Rich, the richest kid in the world." "And now, our union rep, Diane Koscinski, is gonna make our presentation." "Look, Gloria, your mom's gonna make a speech." "Who cares about speeches?" "Let's play some ball." "Fellow workers..." " Gloria, let's go!" " Come on, guys, let's play!" "It isn't just this company, it's the whole town." "And on this special morning the first day of retooling that's gonna bring our jobs back we're gonna ask Richie to accept a gold-plated socket wrench set for his dad." "Thank you, Richie." "on behalf of my dad, thanks for the wrenches." "I know my dad loves socket wrenches." "I know I love socket wrenches." "If my mom knew what a socket wrench was, I'm sure she'd love it too." "I'd like to stay, but I gotta go do my homework." "It's been real." "Thank you." "I'm sure you'll all join me in giving Richie a big United Tools thank-you!" "I hope you're hungry." "We got wieners on the grill." "Make sure you have partners for that egg toss." "Plenty of prizes and you're gonna win one." "You are." "This is a great day, and I hope you all stick around to enjoy it." "We've got plenty of games, plenty of contests." "Lots and lots of things for the kids." "Heads up." "This area is not secure, sir." "Please return to the helicopter." " I wanted..." " I said..." "Don't touch him." "Master Richie you have a very busy afternoon, so we must be on our way." "It's my job to protect him." "very well, Mr. Ferguson, but grab him like that again and you will need protection." " Poor kid." " "Poor kid"?" "What are you talking about?" "He's the richest kid in the world." "You don't have children, do you, Dave?" "Hey, it's taking off." "Man, it must be cool to have everything." " Come on, let's play ball." " Yeah, let's go." "Come on, Gloria, put it over." "Let's go." "It was then that Richie realized there was something missing in his life" "Something simple" "Something money could not buy" "Yes, Mrs. Rich, we're flying over the estate now." "We'll be arriving shortly." "What?" "oh, I'm sure he'll be very happy to hear the news." "Master Rich, your father is home from his business trip." "Great." " Richie." " Hello, James." "Hobbes." "Welcome home, sir." "Dollar!" "Come here." "Come here." "Good." "What you doing?" "What's going on?" "Where's Mom and Dad?" "Mount Richmore?" "I said we needed a family portrait, Regina but this?" " It was Rafaella's idea." "She's the artist." "I didn't want to stifle her creativity." "oh, honey, you know me." "I'm all for the arts." "Don't you think it's a tad pretentious?" "our faces 100 feet high?" "Wait till Geraldo gets ahold of this." "Richard, dove, you're overreacting." "Say, how'd she get it done so fast?" "I've been gone a week." "Professor Keenbean invented a proton particle maximizer." "Something like that." "Anyway, it seems to do the job." "My cheeks are too puffy." "I know, I know, Regina." "I put on a few pounds." "But you have to admit that I do look puffy up there." " Dad." " Hey, slugger." "Great to see you." "How you doing, big fella?" "How was the ribbon-cutting at United?" " Great." "They gave you a gift." " They did?" " Socket wrenches, sir." " oh, socket wrenches." "Son, I love a good socket wrench." "Dad, while I was there, there were these kids playing baseball." " Baseball?" "Great." " Yeah." "And so..." "Excuse me, sir." "It's a telephone call, the president." " What country?" " This one, sir." "Probably needs another loan." "This won't take long." "I'll be right back." "Mom, I was wondering." "If it's okay, can I invite some kids over?" "of course, dear." "A dinner party." "Well, you just tell me who and when and we'll send out the invitations." " Not a party, Mom." "Just something..." " Informal?" "All right, then." "More like a buffet." "We can use the oak Room." "That room is large enough to accommodate your friends." " My friends..." "They're always busy." "I don't wanna bother them." "Excuse me, Master Richie." "It's time for your chemistry lesson with Professor Keenbean." " Do I have to?" " A schedule, sir, is like a house of cards." "Take one away and they all come tumbling down." " Mom?" " I'm afraid so, Richie." " calculus, well, then, where are we?" "In the Rich Manor basement, you stockholders are looking at the answer to the problem of waste management" "I, Professor Keenbean here, with Rich Industries' latest breakthrough:" "The subatomic molecular reorganizer!" "Useless garbage is broken down to its basic molecular components then recombined to form a whole range of useful new items from bedpans to bowling balls" "Hey, need a new bedpan?" "I know I do" "It's quick, it's easy, and in no time at all we've taken 15 pounds of yesterday's garbage and transformed it into a beautiful new bed..." "Bowling ball There's one" "Twins And what family doesn't need a spare?" "Here they come Oh, boy, oh, boy" "Cut!" "Cut!" "Cut, cut, cut." "Still not working, is it, professor?" "Still a few kinks need ironing out, but not to worry." " You ready for your chemistry tutorial?" " I'm not in the mood." "What else are you working on?" "This one will fry your circuits." "I don't mean to play favorites, but I'm stuck on this one." "It's a new adhesive." "Ten times stickier than the strongest adhesive known to man." "I call it "Cementia"!" "Wait till you see what's over here." "Help me." "Help me." "Help me." "Hey, Paula!" "Listen up!" "Suck in the cheeks!" " Bad news, I'm afraid, honey." " Don't tell me you're flying out again." "Tonight after dinner." "I'm sorry." "We were supposed to spend some time together." "How do you put up with me?" "Well, you do have $ 70 billion." "Is that the only reason?" "No." "You also have a cute butt." "Cadbury, did you hear that?" "Indeed, sir." "Madam admires your butt." "I'm most delighted for you." "Now, this makes any fabric instantly impervious." "Dirt proof, stain proof, waterproof, and..." "Sherman!" "Guess so." "Pulled the hair off my head..." "Fire in the hole!" "And bulletproof." "It's not perfect." "It's hell on the dry-cleaning bill." "No kidding." "Nice grouping, Sherman." " What's this, a bee?" " Nope." "That's a paperweight." "This is a bee." "A hundred bees working overtime couldn't pollinate like this baby." "Behold Robo-Bee." "Here." "Take it for a test flight." "Handles like a dream, huh?" "Careful." "Teams of scientists have worked day and night developing the latest in microcircuit technology." "Your afternoon tea, sir." "Millions and millions of dollars have been spent on this one bee alone." "Come here!" "Come here, you!" "Come!" "You're gonna need this!" "Thirty-seven and a half miles of driveway." "You park in the 5 feet with a puddle." "I'm very sorry, sir." "You're sorry." "Well, in that case, find another job." "Good evening, Mr. van Dough." "It's nice to see you, sir." "I've checked their schedule." "I've got the perfect time..." "Not now, moron." "We'll talk later." "Thank you very much, Mr. van Dough, sir." " Hello?" " Richie, dear" "Are you sure you don't want to dine with us?" "It's okay, Mom." "I really don't like that guy." "That's all right, dear." "Neither do I." "But foie de veau is very good for you." "Liver is rich in protein." "It's so tasty too." "Bye, Mom." "Laurence, let's get back to what you were saying about our charitable contributions." " Yes, sir." "I'm all in favor of charity, sir, but your donations are costing the corporation a billion dollars a year and I think it's time we asked ourselves:" " What are we getting for it?" " What are we getting?" "We're getting food banks, medical clinics, shelters for the homeless..." "It's Laurence's job to keep an eye on the bottom line." "Which is also why I have to oppose the United Tool acquisition." "We should be getting rid of dead weight, not acquire it." "I agree." " That's why I am getting rid of United Tool." " Richard!" "All those people and their jobs!" "That is brilliant." "I should've thought of it." "We buy the company in bankruptcy." "Level the factories." "No, no, Laurence." "I'm keeping the factory open, like I said." "Then we go in and we bust the unions slash benefits, and then we sell the company." "No." "We give it away." "We give it..." "We give it away." "Absolutely." "We modernize it, of course, and retool." "Then we turn the factory over to the workers." "Richard, that's a wonderful plan." "Mr. Rich!" "Mr. Rich!" "Mr. Rich." "I've done it." " May I present the Smellmaster." " Keenbean, that's fantastic." "Richie, come down here and try this." "Glasses help us see better, and hearing aids help us hear better." "We should have something to help us smell better." "We do, dear." "It's called Chanel." "But the Smellmaster 9000 converts any smell within 20 yards into a digital audio signal." "Here, son." "Try it." "Wine, Petite Syrah 1974" "Roses Hilversum Demi-bloom Fresh-cut" " Cool." " That's marvelous." "Foie de veau." "Calves' liver" " Richie." " Better make some adjustments, Dad." "This thing's way out of whack." "Can I be excused?" "Thank you." "Come on, Dollar." "Traitor." "Sir, this is precisely the sort of thing I'm talking about." "Toys like that." "Toys?" "Good God, man." "To me, it represents good old-fashioned ingenuity and know-how." "Right, Keenbean?" "Yes, sir." "I see, sir, you bought a new Monet." " Spectacular." " Thanks." "Might I suggest you consider beefing up the security system?" "I don't think that'll be necessary." "After all, all of our real valuables are locked in the Rich family vault." "vault?" "The family vault?" "Someday I'll give you a tour." "I'd like that." "Again, thank you for a lovely evening." "It is our great pleasure." " Good night." " Good night." " Drive carefully." " Seat belt." " Morning, Charles." " Good morning, Billy." "I gotta get another job." "Morning, sir." "It's time." "Rise and shine, Master Richie." "Let's not be a slug abed." "You have a very busy schedule in front of you." "oh, what a beautiful morning." "Come along." "You mustn't keep your personal trainer waiting." "Please tell Arnold I really don't feel like exercising today." "I hope you don't mind, but Arnold canceled." "So I'll be filling in today." "My name is Claudia." "And arms to sides." "Bend your legs." "Stretch." "And all the way up." "And one more time." "Down and back up." "Now stretch to the left." "To the right." "one more time." "Cadbury, about Arnold..." "Arnold's history, sir." "Now, all the way back down." "Stretch real hard, and up." "And inhale and exhale." "Dadlink on." "Locate Dad." "Hiya, slugger" "Locating Dad now" "Exact coordinates will be pinpointed in 11 seconds 10, nine eight, seven" "Four" "Mr. President, if the government spends more money than it takes in it goes into debt." "Excuse me, Mr. President." "It's the Dadlink." " Dadlink?" " It's my personal communication system to my son." "It's a prototype." "Yes, Richie What is it?" "Hi, Dad." "What you doing?" "I'm discussing economic policy with the president." "Is this important?" "Well, Dad, I think I'm getting a zit" "What do you think?" "Could we talk later?" "Oh Sure, Dad I'm sorry I'll see you tonight" " Bye" " See you." "Bye." "Congratulations on the zit, sir." "Thank you, Cadbury." "And I'll collect you after school, as usual." " Good hunting, sir." " Thank you, Cadbury." "Let's move on to case study number 12." "Your company is in dire straits." "Sales are down 50 percent due to stiff price competition." "Dividends are falling." "Stockholders are demanding you step down as chairman of the board." "Now, here's your problem." "How do you rally the board of directors to your side and stave off impending bankruptcy?" "Reynolds?" "I'll have my secretary get back to you on that one." "Ellsworth, how would you get the board on your side?" "Bribe someone." "Sit down, Ellsworth." "Reginald, what would you do?" "What would I do?" "Simple." "I'd float a rumor we're the object of a takeover bid." "And as soon as our stock went up, I'd sell." "That's not only unethical, Reginald, it's illegal." "I'm only 12." "I can't be held legally responsible." "Good point." "Rich, are you and Cuthbert passing notes again?" " No, sir." " Cuthbert?" "Capital appreciation is all well and good but not without a sound growth strategy." "Well, I've only got one word to say to you: pork bellies." "So, what do you think, Rich?" "I think all we ever talk about is money." "We should be having fun." "Money is fun." "All I'm saying is, I'm wondering if you can come this weekend and hang out." " Hang out?" " Yeah, like normal kids." "You know, you're really acting weird, Richie." "Anyway, no can do." "I promised my dad I'd go to Tokyo for a hostile takeover." " Ellsworth?" " Sorry, trustees' meeting." "Watch your rear, Ellsworth." "First rule of defense." "This is a cappuccino." "I asked for a decaf caffe latte, you incompetent imbecile!" "If you can't do the job, you..." "First rule of defense, Reg." "Always watch your rear." "Sir, your Latin tutorial has been moved back an hour." "That gives you time for a spot of polo." "Then on to your tax law seminar." "oh, and this coming weekend, big treat." "You and your parents are flying to London to take tea with Her Majesty." "Is something amiss, sir?" "My friends are too busy to hang out and now I'm too busy to hang out." "You must understand you're being groomed for a life of wealth and responsibility." "Certain sacrifices must be made." "Sacrifices." "Cadbury, I'm changing my schedule." "Bascomb?" " Sir." " Make a right." " Yes, sir." " You..." "Come on, pitcher." "You're supposed to hit the ball." "Come on, Gloria." "Cool car." "Hey, guys." "Check it out." "Master Richie, please." "You can't play with those children." "I must protest." "Cadbury, chill." "I'll be fine." "But they probably haven't even been vaccinated." "Hi, guys." "I'm Richie." " We know who you are." " What, no chopper?" "Dad hardly ever lets me take the helicopter." "oh, no chopper to go to school?" " What are you doing?" " I was wondering if maybe I can play with you guys?" " Play?" "Not!" "Come on." "Let me hit." "You probably couldn't hit a beach ball." "I can hit off of you." "You think you're so hot." "Put your money where your mouth is." " You mean bet?" " Yeah." "Five says she puts you away." "Five?" "How about 10?" "okay." "Seems a little steep, but 10,000 it is." "No, no, no." "Not 10,000." "Ten dollars." "Ten dollars. okay." "I was going to McDonald's with this money." " Dust him." " No problem." "Mr. Fancy Pants is going down." "Master Richie, I do think it unseemly in the extreme for you to take these..." "These children's money." "What are you doing?" "Asking the old guy for batting tips?" "Hit a touchdown, Master Richie." "Come on, Gloria." "Right over the plate." " Strike him out, Gloria." " Come on, Gloria." "Come on, Gloria!" " Hey, batter, batter, batter." " Easy money." "Come on." " Strike him out." " You got it, Gloria." "Fire it in there." "This is a piece of cake." "We got the money in the bag." "Let's go." "Come on." " Burn it in." " Come on, Gloria." "oh, yes, Master Richie!" "Yes!" " Yes!" "Yes!" " oh, man." "There goes my lunch money." "Lucky swing, I guess." "I was wondering if you could come over to my house..." "Pee Wee, give him the money." " I don't want your money." " I said, take it." "You don't belong here." "Truly a prodigious blow, Master Richie." "Thank you." "oh, perk up." "It won't be long before you're having tea and crumpets with the queen." "I'd rather eat a hot dog at Wrigley." "So would I, son, so would I." "oh, Richard, you're not seriously considering giving the queen the Smellmaster?" "Why not, Regina?" "I think she'd get a kick out of it." "Anything to take her mind off those children of hers." "Security check's complete, sir." "I hope you and your family have a great time." "Thank you, Mr. Ferguson, thank you." " Cadbury?" " Madam?" "What's bothering Richie?" "He tried to make friends with some children yesterday." "It wasn't a great success." " The poor dear." " Might I make a suggestion, madam?" " Anything." " Why not let Master Richie stay here?" "Young gentlemen are apt to find royal functions a trifle boring." "Whereas here, I could provide a busy schedule of distractions." "Cadbury, you're a genius." "I'll go tell Richie." "All aboard." "I could live here." " It's huge." " You think they got a pool?" "It ain't no house." "It's a whole 'hood." " I've seen bigger." " Are you kidding?" "The place probably has got its own zip code." "Excuse me, Master Richie." "Sensing you were at a loose end, I've arranged for a little entertainment." "I'm really not in the mood for the vienna Boys' Choir today." "Sadly, the choir was unavailable, sir." "But I did make other arrangements." "I don't believe it." "All right, come on." "Thanks, Cadbury, I owe you one." " Hi, guys." " Hey, rich man." " Just checking out your crib, here." " Crib?" "I believe that's street slang for "home," sir." "An idiom." "Who you calling an idiom?" "And now, if you wish, sir, luncheon is served." "All right." "Food!" "I like this place." "I hope you didn't go to too much trouble." "Not at all." "I prepared a simple, yet elegant menu..." "It sounds delicious." "However, Master Richie was of the opinion that his guests deserve a break today." " You have your own McDonald's?" " No way!" " Not bad." " Wow." " This is great." " I want a Big Mac." "I'm doing an analysis of the secret sauce." "Come on, guys, get him." "Get out of my way." " Nice shot." " I'll be right back." "Come on." "It's called the Dadlink." "It's practically the only way I talk to my dad." "He's away a lot." "I know what you mean." "My dad lives in California." "If we didn't e-mail, I'd probably never talk to him." "Give me the ball." "Come on." "Man, he'd like this place, though." "Must be cool to have everything." "So you guys wanna play, or what?" "Hey, I got an idea." "Wanna try the Kiddipult?" "The Kiddipult?" " Unbelievable!" " That was so cool!" "That was great!" "That was nothing." "You guys wanna play tag?" " Tag?" " Tag?" "In the gentle hand of the gardener lies the hand of God." " Are you a Sagittarius?" " No, madam." " Pisces?" " No, madam." " Leo?" " No." "No, I'm a Taurus." "I knew it." "The bull." " Correct, madam." " oh, look, don't call me madam, okay." "I don't like the connotation." "My name's Diane." "of course, Diane." "And how about you?" "You got a first name?" " of course." " And?" " Herbert." " Herb." "No, it's Herbert." "I'm not a seasoning." "Do I detect a rising fire sign, Herbert?" "You, Diane, are a Capricorn." "Hey, how did you know that?" "Yeah!" "oh, yeah!" "Yeah!" "Man, this is the best day of my life!" " Me too." " The day's not over yet." "You mean, there's more?" " Your own roller coaster." " Check it out." " Awesome!" " It's so big!" "That is cool." "My dad gave me this last Christmas." "It's pretty intense." " Yeah, I just ate." " You always just ate." "Now, their plane ought to be about right here by now." "Just about time for me to move into a much bigger office." "Roger that, center." "Billion Dollar One, over and out." "Would you take over for a while, darling?" "I think I'd like some coffee." "Don't go sneaking into those chocolates." "They're reserved for the queen." "Regina, I'm dieting." "The last thing I want is chocolate." "Where are those chocolates?" "Up, up, up." "Chocolates." "Chocolates." "Smellmaster." "Handkerchiefs Hand-embroidered" "Marble egg Fabergé" "Trinitrotoluene" "I'll tell him you called." "Thank you." "open it." "Darling, this one doesn't have a tag." "Do you know what it is?" " No, I don't." " The Smellmaster says it's trinitrotoluene." "And if my memory serves me right, trinitrotoluene is the proper name for..." "TNT!" " Good God, Regina." "It's a bomb." " Get rid of it!" "Richie, this is great!" "To the new chairman of Rich Industries:" "Me." "Well, it's been a slice." "Maybe I'll see you around sometime, huh?" "Yes, you never can tell." "When you get off the embalming fluid, give me a call, Herbert." " Thanks a lot for coming over." " No problem." "Don't forget." "Baseball next Wednesday." " 3:30." " I'll be there." "Hey, wait." "What about our hundred bucks?" " I said, forget about that, Tony." " What hundred bucks?" "The penguin-looking dude said he'd give us $ 100 for coming to play with you." " Gloria, I didn't know that..." " Hey, look." "Nobody has to pay us anything." "End of story." "See you later, Richie." "We had a great time." "Master Rich, I really am most dreadfully sorry." " Mr. Cadbury!" " Excuse me." "Master Rich..." "What?" "It's your parents." " Dadlink on." " Hiya, slugger" " Locate Dad." " Locating Dad now" "Signal contact: negative" "Power increase" "Searching" "Dad not found" "Dad not found" "Dad not found" "Mr. van Dough, sir?" "Fergie, entrez." "I was just thinking that after I plunder the Rich family vault I think I'd like to buy a country somewhere." "Something small, not too ostentatious." "Luxembourg, perhaps, or maybe Ecuador." "Sir, it seems we have a slight problem." "The boy wasn't on the plane, sir." "Feculent fool!" "After all of my careful planning..." "All right." "I got rid of the king and the queen." "I don't think the boy prince will be any problem at all." "The plane has been missing more than 12 hours" "But despite the biggest air and sea search in US naval history there is still no sign of billionaires Richard and Regina Rich missing since the apparent crash of their plane" "They're alive, Cadbury." "I know it." "And wherever they are, Master Richie, I'm sure they're together and happy." "Richard, if we ever get out of this I'm gonna soak for a week in a vat of oil of olay." "Why haven't they found us yet?" "Well, probably because the locator transmitter in the plane is under a mile of water." "Unless we can see a Radio Shack soon, we can kiss off any chance of getting my Dadlink to work." "There's only one person ruthless enough to set off a bomb on our plane." " When I get my fingers..." " We don't know for sure." "oh, Richard, wake up and smell the seaweed!" "You should have fired him years ago." "I've never fired anyone in my life." "I don't intend to start now." "But van Dough..." "He thought Richie was on the plane with us." "Regina, we have to survive if only to warn Richie." "His life is in danger." "Ladies and gentlemen before we begin, I'd like to observe a moment of silence on the tragic passing of Mr. and Mrs. Rich." "Now, first order of business:" "United Tool." "What do you mean, they closed the factory?" "It just happened." "My mom and everyone else got fired." "I didn't know." "You gotta believe me." "Hey, I'm really sorry about your parents, but can't you help?" "I don't know if I can do this, Cadbury." "Remember this..." " What's that mean?" " It means you have the power of your father inside you." "Kind of like, "Trust the Force, Luke."" "Exactly, sir." "It's so hard." "Sir?" "Mr. Richard Rich Jr. to see you." "Miss Fairchild, I need those memos done by 3:00 today." "Yes, sir, Mr. van Dough, sir." "Richie, Richie, Richie, Richie..." "Allow me to express my heartfelt sympathies over your loss." "We all loved your mother and father very much." "My parents are alive." "I pray nightly that they are." "I want you to know we're doing everything we can to coordinate the search effort." "Please, have a seat." " So, what have you come to see me about?" " Well, until my parents come back I've taken a..." "Sabbatical, sir." "I've taken a sabbatical from school." "You know, so I can be here and run things." "Run things." "Richie, the job of senior officer of a multi..." "National corporation it's very demanding business." "Hours go, well just, way past your bedtime." "So I think that it's best to leave this job to an adult who has experience in these matters. okay?" "I don't think so." "By the way, Cadbury, how much stock do I own?" "Until your parents are found, sir, as the sole heir you own 51 percent of the voting stock." "You're not of legal age to exercise your voting rights." "But I am, sir." "And under the terms of the Rich estate, I stand in loco parentis ...and Guardian ad Litem to Master Richie." "And accordingly, I give him full proxy power and authority." "And by the way, United Tool stays open." "Fine." "Round one to you, sir." "With the losses in our manufacturing division, this will necessitate..." "Sorry." "Will necessitate some employee downsizing." "Downsizing." "You mean fire people." "Well, call it what you will, Richie." "It is our job to cut the fat." "Mr. van Dough, my father never fired anybody." "He always said when people are secure in their jobs they work harder, happier and better." "So I think if we need to cut the fat, I say we start right here." " Good morning." " Morning." " Morning." "Your messages." " Morning, Sylvia." " Morning, Mr. Rich." " Morning." "Yeah, Marvin, I understand that." "Yes, but if all of our divisions are doing record-breaking business how come Rich candy bars are down 12 percent?" "oh, come on." "Have you ever actually tasted a Rich bar?" "He'll get back to you as soon as possible, Mr. Iacocca." "Goodbye." "Richie Rich's office." "Yes." "Talk about gumballs." "Richie Rich's office." "I'm sorry." "He's not available." "He's in conference." " I'll have him call you." " Excuse me." "We'd like to see Richie." " And you are?" " Hey, they're free!" " We're his friends." " We wanna thank him for reopening the factory." " Mr. Rich is much too busy to see anyone." "But wait, we can..." "Richie Rich's office." "Hey!" "Excuse me!" "Somebody help!" " I didn't do it!" "I didn't do it!" " Get Pee Wee." "We're going in." "Come on, let's go." " I didn't do it." " Are you all right?" " Richie." " Gloria?" "Hey, guys." "Close the door." "I'll have to get back to you, Marvin." "Yeah, my new research and development team just walked in." " What?" " What?" "And finally, after extensive and exhausting taste testing by my new research and development team..." " Hi." " How you doing?" "...I've come to the conclusion that we must increase our nut proportion by 15 percent." "We simply cannot let our competition be nuttier than we are." " Yes." " That's our idea." " Come on, guys." " Excuse me." "Excuse me." "Coming through." "All those in favor of my motion?" "All opposed?" "I hate that kid." "No, no." "Clockwise, clockwise." "I said, massage clockwise." "Migraines are bad enough without your incompetence." "Get out!" "Yes, sir, Mr. van Dough." "Now, you listen." "I want you to put the revised plan we discussed into action." "And this time, make sure the gloves come off." " Gloves, sir?" " It's a metaphor, hamhead." "Well, that's it, honey." "We're out of Perrier." "Caviar's gone, and there's no more Melba toast." "The only thing we've got left is a bottle of Dom." "And this little packet of Bubblicious." "Richie's favorite." "He's only 12 years old, Richard." "He's just a boy." "Now, Regina, I'm sure whatever happens, he's going to be just fine." " oh, my God!" " What is it?" " We're saved!" "We're saved!" " What?" "What?" "What?" "My Louis!" "Darling, my suitcase." "And when my father gets back, I'm sure he'll be happy to see what we've done." "The profits from every division have gone up on a record-breaking rise." " It doesn't give you the right..." " I'm sorry, but this is police business." " Herbert Cadbury!" " Yes." "You're under arrest." " Pardon?" " What is this?" "You can't just burst in here." "What is the meaning of this?" "We received a tip and searched the Rich mansion." "Bomb parts, detonation devices found in Herbert Cadbury's room." " Preposterous." " You're under arrest for Mr. and Mrs. Rich's murder." "I don't know what you're talking about." "Don't worry." "I'm sure it's a mistake." "Cadbury!" "Cadbury!" "Richie, police have him now." "Best stay here." "Do you understand that you can stop these proceedings?" "Richie, is it true that Mr. Cadbury planted a bomb on your parents' jet?" "Do you think they were murdered?" " How do you feel?" " What's the future of United Tool?" " Richie!" " Are your parents alive?" " Mr. van Dough!" " We are deeply saddened by this tragic turn." "I'd like to believe in Cadbury's innocence." " But evidence points in the other direction." " Mr. van Dough." "of course, my main concern is that poor Richie survives this terrible episode." "And having his best interests at heart, I have petitioned Superior Court to become the boy's legal guardian." "That's all for right now." "Thanks." "The court has granted legal guardianship of Richie Rich to Laurence Van Dough, trusted friend of the Rich family" "Meanwhile, bail has been denied to accused murderer, Herbert Cadbury" "And believing Cadbury may have had accomplices, Mr Van Dough dismissed all employees of the Rich family" "The Southside community adoption service released figures for the last year..." "My makeup case." "My dresses, my Karl Lagerfeld, my Bill Blass." "My tuxedo." "Now we can throw a dinner party." "Well, what do we have...?" "Wait a minute." "Wait a minute." "Here's something we can use." "Don't you think this is an odd time to start shaving your legs?" "Don't you understand?" "This may be the very thing that will save us." "The very thing." "Yes, yes!" "Richard, darling, you've been too long at sea." "Dad not found" "Dad not found" "Dad not found" "Excuse me, Richie." " Right under that archway." " What are you doing?" "What is that?" " Security camera." "For your protection." " My protection?" "Yeah." "And until further notice I'm afraid I can't let you leave the grounds of the estate." "After what happened to your parents, we can't take any chances." "What about the company?" "You won't be going to the office anymore, Richie." "Mr. van Dough will be running the office from now on." " Nice doggy." " Come on, Dollar." "Right there, camera 23." "That position's good." "Lock it down." "I don't believe this." "It's like I'm a prisoner, Dollar, in my own home." "I'm gonna go have a talk with Mr. van Dough." "You stay here." "Good dog." "Well, sir, things have turned out just the way we planned." "You planned, sir." "Just the way you planned." "Well, not exactly." "The vault." "Where is the vault?" "There must be billions hidden in there." "You're head of security." "Where is the vault?" "I told you, sir." "That's one thing I was never privy to." "What about the rotund Professor Keenbean?" "Claims he doesn't know." "And you believe him, you idiot The man is a lying, disgusting toad" "About the butler, sir" "I've arranged it so Mr Cadbury will soon be so overcome with guilt and remorse ...he's going to hang himself in his cell." "To the lab." " They're gonna kill Cadbury?" " They're gonna make it look like a suicide." " We have to do something." "Bust him out..." " Here it is." " What is it?" " This baby here is the ultimate corrosive." "Don't touch it!" "I call it "hydrocloricdioxynucleocarbonium."" "The name needs work." "But it'll eat through a Buick." "or..." " Prison bars." " Exactly." "Welcome to your worst nightmare." "Gin." "Sorry." "What kind of deal is that?" "I don't need the money tomorrow, I need it today." "You don't understand." "She's my mother." " Excuse me, sir." " What do you want?" " Well, what do you want?" " I want you to give this to my uncle." " Who's your uncle?" " Herbert Cadbury." "Cadbury, huh?" "Let me see this." " What's this?" " It's Latin." "Latino?" "I thought he was English." " What's this?" " very special toothpaste." "He has really sensitive teeth." " You got 10 minutes to do whatever." " Thank you." "Get to it." "I'm getting out of here." "Let's go." "Hurry." "Thank heavens." "My teeth were starting to grow fur." "Talk about extra-strength tartar control." ""Life in danger."" ""Use toothpaste on bars."" "Life in danger?" "Really!" "How melodramatic." "Help!" "officer!" "Help me!" "Help!" "Never mess with a man with sensitive teeth." " Cadbury?" " Richie." " You're okay." " I've been worried sick." "I do beg your pardon, sir." "All that emotion." "Quite out of order." "Got caught up in the moment." " Cadbury." " Yes, sir." " Shut up." " Thank you, sir." "Look." " I'm so sorry." "I hadn't heard." " No, look." "They only found the plane." "No bodies, no life raft." "Mom and Dad are alive." "I know it." " And the Dadlink?" " We can't go back to the house." "But I have another idea." "Come on." "Looking radical in those clothes." "Thank God I was able to hold on to my underwear." "So Master Richie helped Cadbury escape from jail." "I knew that!" "I know everything!" "Everything, do you hear?" "What I know about you will put you both in jail!" "Really?" "In that case, I'm afraid that we're just gonna have to kill you." "I don't know that much." "What do I know?" "Who'd believe me anyway?" "I do believe there is one thing you do know which will be very helpful to me." " Forget it!" "I'm not helping you." "Nothing you do can make me talk!" "Do you hear?" "Nothing!" "Good morning, madam." "Cadbury, come on." "This is it, right here." " Hello?" " Gloria, it's me." "Richie?" "Whoa." "Look who's slumming." "Gloria, I need to use your computer." "It's important." "Come on in." "Well, here goes." "oh, no." " Wait." "Wait a minute." " What are you doing?" "What is it?" "It may just do it." "Wait, wait, wait." "It's working?" "Let's just hope the power holds out." " Hope Richie hasn't given up the search." " Richie?" "of course he won't." " I'm gonna go get changed." " Changed?" "Yes, of course, darling." "There's no way I'm going to be rescued looking like this." " Just a few more seconds." "It should be in." " I like this look on you." "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were almost normal." " Thanks." "I think." " No, I mean it." "I used to think you were just some spoiled rich kid." "But now you're not so bad." "Yeah." "Likewise." "No, no, please, madam." "Madam, no, no, no!" "That really isn't..." " Thank you, madam." " I told you, don't call me madam." "Forgive me, Diane." "Richie did it!" "He's in!" "Hiya, slugger" "What the heck?" "Mike, get me Ferguson." "Come on, professor." "Play nice." " Think I'm enjoying this?" " Yes." "But anyway..." "You told me what this machine could do to a person." "How would you like to spend the rest of your life as a bedpan?" "You've gotta believe me!" "I don't know where the vault is!" " And even if I did it, it wouldn't help you!" " Ferguson, wait." " Tell me why, professor." " Because the lock is voice-activated and only Mr. and Mrs. Rich can open it!" "Unfortunately, Mr. and Mrs. Rich have been detained permanently." "So come up with another way for me to get into that vault." "Yes, but..." "What?" "What?" "Sir, I have a situation." "Handle it." "I'm sorry." "Hungry, professor?" " You're despicable." " Enjoy." "Locating Dad now" " Dad found" " They're alive!" "I knew it!" "Exact coordinates will be pinpointed" "Twelve seconds" "Eleven seconds" " Ten." " oh, my God." "They're alive." " Nine, eight." " Nine, eight." "Seven, six" " Access terminated?" " I've been cut off!" " They must've pulled the modem!" " But your parents are alive, sir." " It proves they're alive." " I have to get to the Dadlink." "Mr. van Dough, sir I think we've found a way into that vault, after all." "Dad found" " Come on." "Let's get going." " Wait there." "We'll be right down." "Are you entirely convinced this is a good idea, sir?" " lf anything goes wrong..." " The Dadlink in my room's our only chance." " I'm going." " Yes, but, Master Richie, please consider..." "Well, I'm wanted for attempted murder, escaping from jail, blowing up an aircraft breaking and entering sounds right up my alley." " Let's kick some butt, shall we?" " Let's." "Well, that's it." "It's all up to Richie now." "Well, then, everything is fine." " Richie never lets us down." " No." "He never would." "Wait, darling, do you hear that?" "Yes." "Yes, it is!" " It's a plane!" "It's a plane!" " oh, my God!" "Richard, we're saved!" "oh, Richie!" " Heroic boy!" " over here!" "Hello?" "!" " Lovely son!" "Hello!" " Hello?" "!" "Plane!" "If any of you wanna turn back, now's the time." "No way." "We're with you, Richie." " Let's go!" " Let's go!" "Yes." "The package has arrived." "Splendid." "Wait for my signal." "Good grief." "Manure?" " Hey!" "It's all we could find." " Yeah." "very well." "Load." "All right." "I'm in position." "You guys all set?" "Eminently." "I've got a target." "Ready." "Wait for it." "Wait for it." "Fire!" "We missed." "Reload!" "Reload!" "This is Nash" "Nash, I didn't hear that." "Come back." "This is Nash." "Fire two!" "Somebody's throwing..." " Yes!" " Yeah!" "Come back, Nash." "Say again." " What'd you hit him with?" " Don't ask." "Nash?" " Nash?" " Talk to him." "Come in, Nash." "Yeah." "This is Nash." "False alarm." "Everything's slicker than snot on a doorknob." "Well, I heard it in prison." "Roger that." "I think those Twinkies are starting to rot his brain." "Spoils of war, man." "Flashlight." " Are you okay?" " You wouldn't believe what they did to me." " It was inhuman." "No!" "Wait!" " Where's van Dough?" "He got a phone call and ran out." "He's not nice person." "Cadbury and I have to get up to my room." "We need a diversion to get past the guard." "I think I can whip up something." " Gloria, you go with him." " okay." " Guys, let's do it." " Come on!" "Go, go, go." "This should do the trick." "Come." "Hey, this is it." "Come on." "Me!" "Like your own wife and children, dozens of them!" "This way, Gloria." "over here." "Right there." " Give that a turn to the right." " What are we doing?" "Well, what they need is a diversion." "This is a combination of laundry detergent dish-washing detergent and bubble bath." "Take that off." "I call it "Sudsational."" "What in the?" "Bubbles?" "What the heck?" "Hey, you guys." "Mr. Zullo, we have a problem with the front fountain." " Then turn it off, you idiot." " You heard the man." "Go." "Kill the cameras now." "You guys go on ahead." "I'll be just a second." "okay." "My inventions!" " What is it?" " I don't know!" "We did it, Mom." "They're in there." "All right." "Richie, Herbert, you're on your own." "Cadbury, look." "It's still working." "Dad found" "Wait a minute." "This isn't right." "It says Dad's here." "Welcome home, Richie." "You were even quicker than I thought." " Mom!" "Dad!" " our other guests should be arriving any moment." "Hey, man, are you nervous or something?" " What are you talking about?" " Did you fart?" " No." " Man, you cut the cheese." " Whoever smelt it, dealt it." " Whoever denied it, supplied it." " What is that?" " I don't know." "Sir." " Got them." " outstanding." "Bring them in." " Richie, darling, I'm so worried about you." " Thank you." " Why are you doing all this?" "!" " Yes, Laurence, what are you after?" "The vault, Richard." "The Rich family vault." " Is that what this is all about?" " Yes." "Yes, the vault." " Where is it?" " There." " Where?" " out there!" "Mount Richmore?" "Your vault is an entire mountain?" " Well..." " You really are filthy rich, aren't you?" "You take me to that vault right now." "Just to make sure I'll have Mr. Ferguson watch Master Richie until we get back." "No!" "Don't hurt Richie!" "If you two cooperate, I promise no one will get hurt." " I'll be okay, Mom." "Shall we?" "I will not be held responsible if that weasel steals my inventions if they fall into the wrong hands..." "Robo-Bee!" "My little pretty..." "Let's go!" "Let's go!" "Come on!" "Move!" "After all this family's done..." "I guess I won't be winning that Employee of the Month award." " very funny." " Keep moving." " Move!" " All right, all right." "Let's go, let's go, let's go." "Hey, watch it!" "All right." "Everybody in." " No." "I'm not going in there." " No way." "I'm not going in." " Everybody in!" " Sure." "Whatever you say." "You're the boss." "St. Peter on a Popsicle stick he's gonna scramble their molecules." "Don't panic." "Don't panic, Keenbean, you'll think of something." "What?" "!" "What are you gonna think of?" "We're going!" " Careful..." " Let's go!" "Let's go!" "All right, watch your heads." " Jerk!" "Let me out!" " Let's see if this thing works!" " I'm stuck!" " It's the fat man!" " Keenbean?" " Keenbean!" "He's here." "Nice try, professor." "But you're gonna have to do better than that!" "Let's play a little game with your little friends!" "Ignition!" "Thirty more seconds and you won't recognize your little friends!" "Don't worry, Richie!" "I've got him covered!" "Save us, professor." " No!" " Somebody get us out!" "I can't reach the machines!" "Fly, my beauty!" "Fly like you've never flown before!" "Eureka!" "Careful, Richie!" "The Cementia!" " Thank you, professor." " Yes." " Cadbury..." " Master Richie!" "I've gotta get to Mom and Dad." "Wait!" "oh, yes." "Look at that." "Finally." "All right, now. open it." " Hello, vault." " Hiya, boss!" "Please state the code for voice check open it now. open it!" " Code accepted" " Thank you, Beavis and Butthead." "This is incredible!" "This is amazing!" "This is..." "This is..." "This is junk!" "Junk?" "Bronze dog bones?" "What?" "Accordions?" "Baby pictures, tricycles, kites?" "Bowling trophies?" " You remember that, darling?" " our first date." "What is all of this crap?" "These are our priceless possessions." "Where are the gold bars the diamonds, negotiable bearer bonds, the money?" "Where's the money?" "!" "In banks, where else?" " And the stock market, real estate..." " No." "Is this a joke?" "This is not right." "Are you telling me there is not one single solitary gold bar or emerald or thousand-dollar bill in this entire mountain?" "I'm sorry, Laurence, but that's not what we treasure." "Shoot them now, please." "What's the matter, Mr. van Dough?" "Can't do it yourself?" " Richie, get out of here!" " It's okay, Mom." "I don't think he has the guts to shoot." "Richie!" "No!" "Generally, you're right, but on this occasion I think I'll make an exception." "Cool." "You're a dead man!" "Let's get out of here!" " Lock him in, Dad!" " Good idea, son!" " Close vault." " Closing vault now Have a nice day" "This way!" "Up the ramp, quick." "oh, my God." " It's all right, honey." "Don't look down!" " oh, Jesus." "Don't look down!" "I won't, darling." "Get down!" "Down, down." "Everybody down!" " He's trying to kill us!" " I know!" "I got you now." "Stay down!" "Quick!" "Up we go!" "Not me, you imbecile!" "Them!" "Beg your pardon." "That wasn't so difficult." " Come on." " Richard, I'm afraid!" "But you're the bravest woman I've ever known." " Now up you go." " Cut the crap and stop pushing!" "Shit!" " All right, Richie, come on." " Come on, Richie!" "Good boy, son." "Good boy." "Now, don't look down." "Hang on!" "Richard!" " Richard!" " Mom!" "I've got you!" "I've got you!" "Grab Richie's hand!" " I got her!" " No!" " Don't let go of me." " We won't let you go." "Now, I won't let you go, dear." " I'll swing you into my mouth." " In your mouth?" " Your mouth?" " It's large enough." " Ready?" " okay." "one." " I can't hold her!" "Hurry!" " Two." " She's slipping!" " once more." "Three!" " You okay?" " I made it!" "All right." "You're next." "Give me that!" "Danger Overload" "Danger Overload" "oh, my God, my nose!" "I look like Michael Jackson!" "Mom!" "Richie, grab my hand." "Danger Overload" "Danger Overload" "Forgive me, madam." "Where are they?" "Thank God!" "Not so fast." "Please." "Please." "Help me!" "oh, my God!" "Help!" "Please help!" "Help!" "Dad, I know how you feel about firing people, but..." "In this case, I think we can make an exception." "Mr. van Dough, you're fired!" "Fine, I'm fired..." "Well done, Master Richie!" "Well done!" "Cadbury everything all right?" "Yes, madam in a manner of speaking." " Go get them, Richie!" " Come on, Richie!" " Come on, you can do it!" " Richie!" "Come on, Richie!" "Come on, kill that ball!" " Right down the middle!" " Come on!" "This guy can't hit!" "Knock it out the park!" "Well done!" "That's the ticket!" "Good hit." "Shut up!" "Aren't you gonna throw it back?" "Hey, screw." "Fetch." "Not bad, coach." "You're not so bad yourself, madam." "Don't call me that." "Richie, you're all right." "Likewise." "I must say, Regina now our son really is the richest boy in the world." "He has friends."