"(BAND PLAYING LIVELY MUSIC)" "(MAN SPEAKING F0REIGN LANGUAGE 0VER PA)" "(S0LDIERS SH0UTING IN F0REIGN LANGUAGE)" "(S0LDIERS CHANTING)" "(BAND RESUMES PLAYING)" "PALIN:" "Natlonal Day In Tlraspol, the capital of Transdnlester, a place most people have never heard of." "It's actually a breakaway state of the Republlc of Moldova, another place most people have never heard of, which makes me doubly glad to be here." "Well, I've never witnessed anything quite like this before!" "A national day parade for a nation that doesn't exist!" "This is Transdniester!" "They have their own army, they have their own currency, but no single other country in the world recognises them!" "But today, they recognise themselves!" "Transdnlester, literally, across the Dnlester Rlver, consists of 4,000 square kilometres and just over half a million people." "Oh, and a helicopter." "When the old Sovlet Republic of Moldova won Independence In 1 99 1, those on the east bank of the Dnlester Rlver felt let down." "The majority of them were Slavs." "They used the Russlan language and the Russlan alphabet, whereas the rest of Moldova spoke Romanlan, a Latln language." "So, In 1 992, after a short civil war, the Transdnlestrans declared themselves Independent, which Is what today's festivities are all about." "(W0MAN SINGING IN F0REIGN LANGUAGE)" "These people want so much to remain Russlan, that, In most of their lifetimes, It looks Increaslngly unlikely that the rift with Moldova will ever be repaired." "After crossing the Dnlester," "I shall pass through the rest of Moldova" "Into northern Romanla, south to Transylvanla and Bucharest, then onto the Danube." "I'm coming into Chisinau, the capital of Moldova!" "This was once the far southwestern corner of the mighty Soviet Union!" "Now it's a tiny independent country trying to find its place on the new map of Europe!" "Chlslnau Is not without its problems, but first impressions are of a likeable, surprisingly verdant, easy-golng city." "I take a walk In the park with Tatlana Tlbuleac, a local journalist, and, for a moment, It's like stepping back In time." "(BRASS BAND PLAYING LIVELY MUSIC)" "This is a place where, actually, old people come, but you can see today it's not only old people coming!" " I think lonely people are coming here!" " Yeah!" "This is a place where they can be not so lonely!" "Because you can see here, they are pensioners!" "Most of them retired persons, living alone with a very small pension!" "Some of them, they are just left alone, you know?" " They are not rich!" " Yeah!" "They just have very poor conditions in life!" " Yeah!" " And what they do every Sunday, they just put a nice dress on themselves, make a little bit of make-up, you know, put medals, nice suits, and they're coming here just to meet each other!" "PALIN:" "They can dance with anyone here, can they?" "TATIANA:" "A lot of love stories started here, you know?" "PALIN:" "They're quite old, some of them!" " They're almost my age, you know!" " Yes!" "(EXCLAIMING) That's not old!" "(PLAYING TANG0 MUSIC)" "TATIANA:" "You can come here for a good dose of optimism for your week!" " You know?" " Yeah!" "TATIANA:" "You see when a man doesn't want to dance, a lady should have more courage!" "Well, come on, then!" " Will you be able to lead?" " Ah, well, let's see what we can do!" " 0h, dear!" "There we go!" " 0h, he's not so bad!" "Should I just watch everyone else?" "Is there much regret at the passing of the old Soviet Union?" "Do people feel nostalgic at all here for those days?" "Actually, a lot!" "If you would ask all these people you see here, they would start crying and they would say, "We want back!"" "Young generation, they are not so nostalgic, but we didn't even get too much from the Soviet period!" "I think people miss not the regime, they miss jobs, they miss pensions, they miss, I don't know, cheap food and good vacations!" "I also miss Soviet period!" "You know why?" "Because I was young and I had my parents alive!" "If this means to miss the Soviet Union, yes, I miss, because I was a child, I had my grandparents!" "I went to all these places, everything seems to be so beautiful!" "But now, logically, of course I'm so happy that is not here and I be!" "I speak with you today!" "Twenty years ago, this would be a crime!" "I would probably have a file now if you would come and I would tell you all these things, you know?" "And this is important to know and to keep in mind always!" "And everybody is nostalgic for something, but it's important to be realistic at one point!" "You miss the sensation of something, you miss the smell or the taste, but you cannot miss something which killed and made unhappy so many generations!" "Tatlana also helps run the UNICEF operation In Moldova, and tomorrow she's going to take me to a village outside the capital to see their work In action." "Moldova Is the poorest country In Europe, and many In the countryside can only support their families by working abroad." "Those left behind are easy prey for drug dealers and people traffickers." "Wlth the help of UNICEF, the children of this village have put on a play to make people aware of the dangers that they face." "What's the!" "What are they attempting to show and deal with here?" "It's a story about trafficking!" "So, here's a typical Moldovan village!" "People wake up to go to work, probably you'll see the field!" "Trafficking is a big issue in Moldova, actually, because a quarter of the population is out, mainly women," " Working illegally!" " Abroad!" "TATIANA:" "Yes, abroad!" "These are people who went abroad and now are coming back to recruit people for prostitution, for begging!" "Actually, they probably lived in the same village for many years, and now they come here because people, they trust them, because if you live with somebody 20 years, you trust that person!" "And, actually, these are the main traffickers!" "PALIN:" "Local people coming back to their own village!" "TATIANA:" "Yes!" "Local people!" "People coming back!" "They promise them $200-300 per month, and, for them, this is huge money!" "Every time you think that this will not happen to you!" "You hope, at least, that this will not happen to you!" "PALIN:" "And there she's going to be" " Given a drug!" "Drugged!" " So this is already somewhere in Italy, maybe, or in Moscow!" "They have to beg!" "They take their papers, they leave them in streets, or in a room for years and years!" "They usually!" "See, he injected some drugs into the girl!" "This is what is happening!" "Actually, they are living like three, four, five years, drugged" " And being forced to prostitute!" " Yeah, addicted to the drug!" "TATIANA:" "When they come back!" "We have a lot of cases here!" "They need years to recover!" "Actually, children are very expressive!" "Imagine that every second has parents abroad!" "PALIN:" "What, every second child here!" "TATIANA:" "Every second child acting has parents abroad!" "Maybe they didn't see them for years!" "You know, five years, six years!" "They just receive money from them!" "PALIN:" "Maybe that's why they're so good!" "They've just seen it on people's faces!" "I mean, it's the look on the faces, it's so intense and it's full of feeling, isn't it, really?" "It's very moving!" "What you're doing here, the play, does it do any good at all if people are just going to go anyway?" "Do you think it does change minds?" "Yeah, I think the main thing, the main message is that they inform them, you know?" "Now they can know that things like these can happen!" "You should very careful with who you are talking!" "Who is taking you abroad?" "You know, this is!" "We want to do through this, and they are doing, actually!" "0f course, people will go, but they will ask themselves 1 0 times what they're doing, with who they're doing it, you know?" "So what's happening now?" "She's being sold!" "What sort of money is involved when they're sold?" " Do you know?" " Up to 5,000!" "But for this money, she will have to work years and years in prostitution!" "Years and years!" "We had cases when women were telling us that they'd been forced" " To sleep with 40 men per day!" " Yeah!" "Young girls like 1 8 years old!" "This is a tragedy!" "It's appalling, yeah!" "In the end, good defeats bad, and those who were seized escape their tormentors and return to the village." "It's been a moving performance to watch, but Tatlana remains a realist." "TATIANA:" "It's a beautiful, happy end!" "In life is not always like this!" "PALIN: (CHUCKLING) No!" "(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)" "Desplte all its problems, Moldova Is far from depressing, and Chlslnau continues to surprise me." "Under the Communlst regime the arts were always encouraged, provided they didn't question the party line, so there's always a chance of stumbling across an experimental sculpture park," "Ilke this one here, which turns out to be just round the corner from a housing block specially built to provide studios for working artists." "Llka, a children's book Illustrator, shows me one of them." "And I step Into a world which nothing quite prepared me for." "(M0LD0VAN MUSIC PLAYING 0N STERE0)" "Belleve It or not, this Is an 87-year-old man." "Llka's dad." "Does he make!" "Does your father make all the masks himself?" " Yes!" " Right!" "Yeah!" "The man behind the mask Is Gloebus Salnculc, one of the best-known artists In Moldova." "Did he always used to do" " Shows like this?" " Yeah, yeah, yeah!" " Yeah!" " But he!" "He calls it a theatre of one spectator!" "Right!" "Yeah!" "You see, he's a theatre of one actor," " But he's a theatre!" " Theatre of one spectator!" "Yeah, yeah!" "He doesn't like many people being crowded!" " It's few people and he shows them!" " I like that!" "I like that, "Theatre of one spectator!"" " Not going to get!" " It's very live, you see!" "I'm not sure if you show it, it will be all right, for it's live, you see?" "Like jazz, it should be seen live!" "Yeah, yeah!" "No, it's good!" "(SPEAKING F0REIGN LANGUAGE)" "Gloebus has been making faces for 50 years, but It's the big stars that really seem to attract him." "Though Pavarottl's usually a bit bigger than this." "Yeah, very convincing!" "You really must ask him!" "There's a lifetime's work here, providing a fascinating archive of the politicians and celebrities of the Sovlet era with whom Gloebus grew up." "PALIN:" "Were there good things about the Soviet system for an artist?" "LIKA:" "I don't think!" "You see, people had a hope somehow, but now they don't!" "That's the difference!" "They hoped that they will have an apartment in 20 years, in 50 years!" "That after 1 00 years, they will build Communism!" "Basically, a foolish hope, you see?" "But some people lived with this, with this hope!" " But now do you think!" " But now they should be more real!" " Real, no?" " But you can still have a hope!" " Now!" " No, we don't mean that!" "Hope was fed by!" "By the!" " The Party!" " By Party, yeah!" "(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING 0N STERE0)" "The Party would probably not have approved of the partying that goes on every night In the nightclubs of Chlslnau." "Through Tatlana, I meet Olga Maxlm, who, at 1 6, left Moldova to study as an actress In Romanla." "Though she now has a partner and child there, she comes home regularly to visit her mother, and suggests I might like to go with her and see a quieter side of Moldovan life." "Her mother lives In a farming village an hour south of Chlslnau." "Yeah, I'm visiting her quite often!" "0nce a month!" "We're coming every month!" "0h, right!" "You've brothers and sisters, too?" "Yeah, I have a sister!" "Olga's father died seven years ago, and her mother, Helena, lives alone In the family house." "Mum's working!" "(SPEAKING F0REIGN LANGUAGE)" " She's my mum!" " She wants you to do the work now!" " This is Michael!" " Hello, hello!" "I should say hello!" "What should I say, really?" "(SPEAKING F0REIGN LANGUAGE)" "Very nice to meet you!" "She's been very helpful to me!" "(SPEAKING F0REIGN LANGUAGE)" "But she is a crazy driver!" "Llke many who've grown up In a world of Communlst collectives," "Helena has learnt the importance of having something of your own." "Does she have to buy any food at all, or is she quite self-sufficient?" "No, she doesn't buy anything!" "She's growing everything in her garden!" " 0r she buys sugar or probably rice!" " Right!" "I mean, for sure!" "But everything that she grows in the garden" " She has in there!" " What are her luxuries?" "I mean, what are things that she'd like to spend her money on apart from a new pair of garden gloves?" "(SPEAKING F0REIGN LANGUAGE)" " Ah, yes!" "Chocolate!" " Chocolate!" "Sweet things that she cannot grow in the garden!" " 0h, that's good!" "Well!" " That she buys from the city!" "Yeah, I'll remember that!" "I'll have to get you a box of chocolate!" "The rest, she has everything!" "She has everything!" "She's growing chickens and ducks and all this!" "Helena gets up at 4.:00 every morning, and when I look at her garden, I can see why." "Mum wants to show you her garden!" "Tomatoes!" "She grows tomatoes in here!" "She grows all this herself and picks them and all that?" " Yeah, yeah!" " And cultivates them?" "Everything that she grows in here is for herself!" "Your family have lived here for generations, on both sides!" " Yeah, yeah!" " Yeah!" "What did your father do?" "My father was a!" "He had kind of ruling jobs, you know?" " First, he was!" " In politics?" " He was a Communist, actually!" " Yeah!" "He was the!" "How they call it?" "In the party!" "In the Communist Party!" "So he was kind of!" "Most people were at that time, were they not?" "All of them!" "All the men in the village!" " She's picking like a maniac here!" " She's picking!" "I love it, really!" "We natter on, she's just really concerned about getting the old strawbs!" "Getting the raspberries in!" "They're lovely!" "What does she think about Moldova now?" "I mean, does she think things are going to get better or worse?" "(SPEAKING F0REIGN LANGUAGE)" "She says that!" "Yeah, I think!" "She thinks that things might go worse because of the economic situation!" "The salaries are very small and the prices are growing!" "For her it's enough!" "She says, "For me, it's enough!" " "I have everything!"" " Yes, yes!" "And for the other people from the cities, especially, the things might get worse because of the economy, the level it's!" "Does she sort of!" "Is she nostalgic for the Communist time?" "(SPEAKING F0REIGN LANGUAGE)" "No?" "No!" "Desplte this, I suspect It will be a long time before new Europe changes the way of life In the Moldovan countryside." "Certalnly, the meal Helena treats us to owes more to the old days." " How is it?" " It's very nice, yes!" "No, go on!" "Mmm!" "And she's made the wine as well." "But it must mean that!" " She wants to toast with you!" " A toast, oh, yes!" "Yes, well, thank you!" "0kay!" "Cheers!" "Here's to the Moldovan way of life," "Moldovan food, to the best cook in Moldova!" "(0LGA TRANSLATING IN F0REIGN LANGUAGE)" "Are people more inclined now towards Romania, and, obviously, then to the West and Europe?" "After the separation, they just remained alone, totally alone!" "And Moldova has no industry!" "It has nothing to live from, just land!" "There you see, they are growing vegetables and they are having this!" "Actually, the Soviet Union was calling Moldova the sunny country, because everything here was very natural!" "The vegetables and the chicken and everything was growing natural from the land!" "There was nothing, chemicals or stuff like this!" "Would you come back to live here?" "In Moldova?" "Maybe when I am very old!" " Maybe!" " Maybe!" "There you are, you see?" "A qualified person like yourself!" " Yeah!" " !" "You can't really work here!" "Here In the south of Moldova, old and new worlds meet In quite surreal circumstances." "(PLAYING DRUMS)" "The country's top group, Zdob sl Zdub, much Influenced by folk music, has come here specially to re-unlte with a gypsy lady, known and loved by all as "Grandma"." "(PLAYING P0P MUSIC)" "(SINGING IN F0REIGN LANGUAGE)" "Grandma won International fame banging the drum for Moldova" "In the 2005 Eurovlslon Song Contest." "They came sixth." "Well, we've now left Moldova and we're in Moldavia!" "Moldova is a separate country, as you know!" "Moldavia is a part of Romania!" "It's confusing, I know, but it's very, very beautiful!" "In the foothills of the Carpathlan Mountalns, largely protected from marauding armies and political commissars, are some of the least changed communities In Europe." "Rellglon remains the focus of local life and the churches are works of art." "The walls of this one, the monastery at Moldovlta, are covered, Inside and out, with frescoes painted 500 years ago." "These ones here are a graphic account of the siege of Constantlnople, with Chrlstlan armies desperately fighting off the Turks." "It's like mediaeval news footage." "Every single wall is covered!" "Yes, every square inch we can say is covered with paintings!" " What we see around here, this is!" " This is rather grand!" "This is Last Judgment scene!" "Always at the entrance to remind people about how important it is to take care of their next lives!" "Carollna Is my guide to this extraordinary Byzantlne masterpiece." "Behind that wall would be the altar, where no men of other religion and no women are ever allowed to go in!" " Yeah!" " Except nuns, sometimes!" "The wall here is called the icon wall, or the iconostasis, which is one of the most marvellous parts of this church," " Basically!" " Beautiful, isn't it?" " Is that gold leaf or gold or!" " Yes!" "It's gold, yeah!" "It's carved in wood and it's covered with gold!" "Yeah, yeah!" " And they're still working?" " And they're still working on it, yes!" " Gosh, that is such detail!" " They've been painting it in!" "Yeah, so much detail!" "So time consuming!" " How long have they been working?" " Just over 1 5 years now!" "It's about 700 euro per square metre to clean it!" "For centuries, this has been a hidden gem, but In the new Europe, It could be tourist gold." "(BELL T0LLING)" "In the mountains of the Maramures region," "It's All Souls' Day, and If evidence were needed as to why Communlst atheism made so little headway here," "look no further than this churchyard." "(SPEAKING F0REIGN LANGUAGE)" "The graveyard In the village of leud" "Is packed with families here to remember their loved ones." "The priest blesses each grave In turn." "Candles are lit and bread specially baked." "Ionut, a local student, tells me why." "This is one of the most important days of the year!" "Yeah!" "Because this is the day when we celebrate death!" "Right!" "Remember the dead!" "Yes, just like we celebrate the birth, the wedding, and this is the day when we remember the dead!" "(PRIEST SINGING)" "It's not just relatives of the living who are remembered." "Any member of a family who has died In the past 200 years can have their name read out." "It's a touching image of the power of remembrance and continuity, and surely helps to make the work of the Grlm Reaper seem a little less grim." "After the Mass," "I walked through the village with Ionut and his father Flllmon who've Invited me back to their house to carry on the celebrations." "Meanwhlle, with the dead remembered, the living go back to work." "Desplte the beauty of the countryside, life here Is hard, and the way to find relief from the daily grind" "Is usually with strong drink and a good knees-up." "I fear that Ionut and Flllmon are no exceptions." "Wlth Ionut's mother keeping a beady eye out In the background, the first of several toasts Is raised." "Cheese and sausage Is on the table and In the glass, pallnka, a fiery eau de vie made from apples and pears." "And with an awful Inevltablllty, one thing leads to another." "(PLAYING TRADITl0NAL MUSIC)" "And another." "(SINGING IN F0REIGN LANGUAGE)" "Why can't they just have afternoon tea like anyone else?" "Next morning, I find myself and my hangover aboard a horse and cart, along with Clara, whom I'd met last night at the party." "We're In the town of Sapanta, and perhaps appropriately, In view of how I feel, on our way to another cemetery." "PALIN:" "Are we here?" "CLARA:" "Yeah, we're here!" "We're going to stop here!" "But one, as they say, with a difference." "Most of the graves are decorated by local artist Stan Patras." "PALIN:" "It's nice that all!" "I mean, the usual of symbols of death, the skulls and the Grim Reaper, they don't have those!" "It's life!" "I mean, this one here!" " Yeah, this one, it's very!" " What's that?" "CLARA:" "This one is not so sad, actually!" "Here it's about a very happy man who lived a very happy life!" "He loved to drink wine and palinka and to entertain women, you know?" "So he's had a happy life!" "When did he die?" "Did he die when he was!" " He died when he was!" " Eighteen?" "No, they don't say the age exactly!" "But he lived a very happy life, so I think he dies very happily!" " So!" " I quite like that!" "I'd like that on my grave, actually!" "Much better than saying, "Here lies so-and-so!"" "You could have a little picture of me!" " Yeah, it's an idea to!" " Wouldn't you?" "Some bit of your life celebrated rather than!" " Yeah!" " You know, rather!" "Just the word "died here" and all the rather grim stuff," " Celebrate life!" " Yeah, yeah, I think it's very nice!" "And the people are much more enjoyable when they read that about you and what you did!" " That's what you want to remember!" " 0f course!" "CLARA:" "Some of them, they are, let's say happy, cheery, but some of them, they are quite, I think sad, let's say!" "Yes, accidents!" "This one here, for instance!" "So it's a bittersweet combination!" " What's that?" "What does that say?" " Yeah, this one is also!" "Yeah, this is sad!" "It's a little kid, and it's about a cab driver which drove a cab!" "And the girl wondered," ""Why that cab should stop near the house and kill me?" ""From all this country he couldn't find another place" ""but next to our house where I was living and stayed by, nearby?"" "And the cab killed her!" " Then she's also!" " That describes what happened?" "Yeah, that describes over there how it happened, how the cab drove into the fence and killed the little girl!" "PALIN:" "It's an odd combination, isn't it?" "'Cause you feel an awful accident and a little dead girl there, and yet somehow that makes it kind of!" "Takes the curse off it somehow!" " Yeah, yeah, yeah!" " Celebrates her short life!" "That's true!" "Yeah!" "They call this the Merry Cemetery and I can see why." "There's no better place than this to learn about the pain, pleasure and the preoccupations of life In Maramures." "It's a region that's not overflowing with job opportunities." "But the forest, high above one of its most remote valleys, has, for many years, provided local men with work." "It's Monday morning and I'm joining the train which takes about 80 lumberjacks up into the forest!" "No comment!" " Morning!" " MEN:" "Morning!" "Hi!" "Well, I don't have a ticket!" " Do I need a ticket?" " No, no!" "(CHUCKLING) No?" "Just need an interest in trees!" "The more beautiful It gets, the colder It gets, and the only heating's In the engine." "Thls Isn't luxury travel, but they're lumberjacks, they're okay." "(MAN YELLING)" "It may not look like lt, but things have changed for the Romanlan lumberjack." "The chainsaw has replaced the axe, and environmental concerns have limited how much they can cut, reducing the work force by a fifth." "At lunch, I'm Introduced to a local delicacy, very useful, I'm told, for soaking up pallnka." "What's this, by the way?" " This is slanina!" " Hmm?" " Slanina!" " What's that?" " It's like a lard!" " Looks like fat!" "It's a fat!" "It's fat, yes!" "It's from pig meat!" " Yeah!" " It's a pig!" "And usually you take a bit of this, and you must chill with!" " 0h, right!" "Do you?" " Yes, of course, let's do it!" " Is this very!" " You must trust in me!" " Very sort of typical of Maramures?" " Yes, typical of Maramures, yes!" "PALIN:" "What do you do," " You dip it in there?" " No, no, no, just biting!" "(SPEAKING F0REIGN LANGUAGE)" "Cheers!" "(T0ASTING IN F0REIGN LANGUAGE)" "Quite salty and!" " MAN:" "It's not spicy!" "It's good!" " It's like fat, but I like it!" " Is like teacle?" " No, no, it's fine!" "We used to have dripping when I was young!" "MAN:" "Yes?" "In Sheffield, you'd have dripping on bread!" "We'd have that!" "But now, nobody!" "0oh, nobody has it, you know?" "It's kind of shocking!" "Far too much sort of bad, you know, sort of bad things for you, but I think it's, um!" "A little bit every now and then!" "Havlng probably shortened my life by a good few years," "It's time to leave this otherwise delightfully clean and healthy mountain alr and head south with the timber." "Well, I've come south from Maramures, with its merry preoccupation with the dead, to Transylvania, with its a rather more sinister preoccupation with the un-dead!" "Thls Is Slghlsoara In the very heart of Romanla, and the word "heart"reminds me this Is Dracula land." "The town was fortified by Saxons from south Germany, hence the Brothers Grimm falry-tale-llke appearance." "It was Intended as a bulwark against Invaders coming through the Carpathlans," "Europe's last line of defence." "Ioanna, my guide, tells me the Germans lived here happily for centuries but the Communlsts made them unwelcome and now they've all left." "One of the most legendary figures In history was born here, and Is still remembered." "Ioanna has mixed feelings about his legacy." "(LAUGHING) They've really got!" "They've got Dracula!" "Look at all these!" "Dracula has taken over your town!" "Yes, this was the house" " Of Vlad Dracula!" " Yes, yes!" " !" "The father of Vlad the Impaler!" " I saw that!" "Maybe he was born right here!" "But who was he?" "He was a great voivod!" " You know "voivod", the word?" " Voivod, no!" "What's a voivod?" " A prince!" " A prince!" "Yeah, yeah, yeah!" "And a great leader!" "He was quite a hero for the Romanian people 'cause he fought the Turks!" " Yeah!" " A big hero, really!" "He defended very well his people and he beat the Turks!" "He did a bit of impaling though, didn't he?" "Wasn't very nice, was he?" " He stuck a big!" " Yes, but it was a good thing" " Because he loved justice!" " !" "Spike up people!" "And it was a habit, you know, all around!" "Was it?" "Everybody was impaling everybody else?" "Yes!" "We think the medieval times are charming, don't we?" " This is Bram Stoker's work, isn't it?" " Yes, it is!" " He is the one responsible for this!" " Yes!" "Actually!" "What do you think of all this?" "These are for the kitchen, don't you think?" " These ones I like!" " Yes, it's funny!" "I like these especially!" " 0kay, then, buy them!" " Would you mind?" "Turn your back!" " No!" " Lf I just!" " I'll be your witness!" " !" "Keep the Dracula business going!" " Please buy them in front of me, okay?" " Can I?" "Maybe I can have these two here!" "(MUGS CLANKING)" " Whoops!" "There we are!" " Here!" "A coffee for me and the wife!" "That'll be very nice in the morning!" " 0r a cup of tea!" " Yeah, before impalings!" "(B0TH LAUGHING)" "Can we have those two?" "Thank you very much!" " How much are they?" " 300!" " 0kay, 300!" " Yeah!" " It's good, this!" " 0kay, fine!" "And if you want, I have a colleague who is performing Count Dracula!" " The character of Bram Stoker!" " 0h, right!" "Is he scary, your friend?" " Very!" " Very scary!" "If you want to be scared, yeah!" "Comblnlng history and local superstitions, the Irish writer Bram Stoker created a character who's now responsible for a tourist Industry that has brought wealth and car parks to the gentle Transylvanlan countryside." "Dracula's most bloodcurdling deeds were set here at Bran Castle." "It certainly looks the part, and still attracts some pretty strange people." " Welcome to my castle!" " Thank you!" " Come with me!" "Be my guest!" " Thank you!" "Ioanna's friend, Petre, has to be one of them." "PALIN:" "He doesn't look well!" "Come with me, my friends!" "You first!" "No, you first!" "(LAUGHING) 0h, dear!" "Into the little passageway syndrome!" "Bring the garlic!" "A bit strange!" "(LAUGHING SADISTICALLY)" "It's death!" "These rooms were actually done up In the 1 920s by Queen Marle, wife of Klng Carol, when Romanla still had a royal family." "Sorry, sorry." "Back to the story." " All of the vampires!" " Girls!" "(PALIN LAUGHING)" "Shh, girl!" "(EXCLAIMS)" "Transylvania!" "0h, Transylvania!" "In Transylvania you can see very strange things!" "You're telling me." "But I have more!" "My revenge has begun!" "I spied it over the century and time is on my side!" "I've seen a lot of Romanla's unchanged rural byways, and now It's time to head for the capital, Bucharest, to find out how modern Romanla has been shaped." "And, as happens on trains," "I end up learning a thing or two on the way." "I couldn't help noticing the book you're reading is by Cioran, is it?" "Cioran?" " Yeah!" " Yeah, Cioran!" "Because I was just reading my guidebook, there's a great bit here about Emil Cioran!" ""The philosopher who published On the Helghts of Despalr" ""setting out the nihilist anti-philosophy" ""that the only valued thing to do with one's life is to end it!" "(LAUGHING)" ""But continued to expound this view until he was 84!"" "Yes!" "Yeah, quite so!" "Yeah!" " So is he well known?" " It is!" "Actually, it is!" "It is one of Romania's biggest philosophers!" "He is part of the golden generation of the Romanian spirituality built up between the wars!" "Europeans seem to be able to respect and admire philosophy more than they do in England!" " Is that so?" " Really?" "We don't really have great philosophers!" " Well, you have Shakespeare!" " People aren't interested!" "You have Shakespeare, Shakespeare explain everything!" " Yeah, maybe that's it!" " That's why!" "Yeah, yeah!" "'Cause we have this conceit in the West that we are Europe and, of course, what I've discovered, certainly from this journey, is that it's not like that!" "The culture, the history, it's all entwined, and that Romania must have felt itself to be part of Europe!" "Romania has in one time of history elected to be in eternity!" "To have no connection with historical time, because it's the terror of our history!" "We are here in the middle of the crossroads of all nations, invaders and empires and everything else!" "And to survive the Romanian people choose to be suspended in eternity!" "I'm not entirely sure what that means." "When I set out to see Bucharest the next morning," "I'm not entirely sure where I am." "Have I been flown back to London overnight?" "Perhaps I never left Maramures?" "Ahl Now I understand." "Of coursel I'm In the Amerlcan West." " Hello!" "You're Bogdan?" " Hi, Michael!" " Very good!" "Very good to meet you!" " Yes, welcome!" "I feel I've been all over the world in the last two minutes trying to get here!" "Bogdan Moncea runs the many make-belleve worlds here at Castel Film Studios." "It's a Romanlan success story, with International hits like Cold Mountain shot here and another Amerlcan movie currently In production." "MAN:" "Action!" "So how did it come to be?" "Post-Communism was very chaotic!" "Most of the industries trying to find pace, trying to find directions, markets were collapsing, systems were collapsing and changing, so it seems to be crazy for a young D0P at that time called Vlad Paunescu to start a business like that!" "You know, it seems crazy!" "But, in the end, now it seems to be a very successful business, and it is a very successful business!" "Bucharest, a sprawl of some two million people, has been a capital for 350 years." "But It Is the traumatic recent history, shaped by the communist dictator Nicolae Ceausescu who ran the place for 25 years, that Is stamped all over lt." "M0NCEA:" "That building in front of us there, the white building, was the Central Committee of the Communist Party!" "Thls Is where the revolution In 1 989 started In Bucharest." "PALIN:" "Oh, right, yeah." "B0GDAN:" "Thls Is where a big crowd of people was gathered" "In December, 1 989 by Ceausescu, strangely enough, In a big rally" "to support Communlsm, actually, and people started to boo him and to, In a way, attack him verbally, and then, gradually, literally attack this building." "And from the top of the building Is a very famous shot of his helicopter taking off from the palace." "PALIN:" "Wlthln days, he was executed." "The Communist system in Romania was probably, if not the toughest, definitely one of the toughest in Eastern Europe!" "It was very similar, and he actually had models from those areas, in North Korea, in Vietnam at that time, in Iraq!" "He became a very good friend with all these dictators!" "PALIN:" "And this was the result, Ceausescu's Palace of the People." "After the Pentagon, the second largest building In the world." "It now houses, amongst other things, the Romanlan Parllament, and I'm shown round by another Bogdan," "MP and current Presldent of the Chamber of Deputles," "Bogdan Moltlanu." "M0LTIANU:" "Frankly speaking, everybody hated it because of its history, because of the people which were brought here by force!" "Some of them died!" "Thousands of houses had been demolished in this area" " And people were forcefully removed!" " Yeah!" "M0LTIANU:" "So, basically, Romanians hated it!" "There was a long debate in the early '90s about what to do with it!" "And one of the ideas was to bomb it!" " To bomb it?" " Yeah, to demolish it, okay!" "It was the idea to bomb it from a plane!" "In the end, It was easier to keep lt." "The headache for Bogdan and his colleagues now" "Is how to fill the space." "The statistics are staggering." "Begun In 1 984, 20,000 labourers and 700 architects worked 24 hours a day to build over 1,000 rooms, hang 4,500 chandeliers, lay 1,000,000 cubic feet of marble." "And It's still not finished." "One carpet alone weighed 1 4 tons, there's a nuclear bunker dug 70 feet below ground, and 26 churches and 7,000 homes were demolished for this and the civic centre that surrounds lt." "You can see the grand scheme here, from this balcony!" "Yeah!" "Here he can address the people and they will never know who's addressing them because they can hardly see you from there!" "Yes, that's a bit of a mistake!" "Was he sort of illuminated?" " Minor mistake!" " Minor mistake!" "M0LTIANU:" "If he had the time probably he would have built a second building!" "PALIN:" "Yeah!" "And was that based on the Champs Elysees?" "Was that the idea?" "M0LTIANU:" "I wouldn't say it's based on the looks, but it's certainly based on the size!" "He wanted to have a boulevard longer and wider and he managed to have it longer and wider!" "It's a little bit wider and a little bit longer!" "No other comparison, I would say!" "Fragments of the old city can still be seen, but, In truth, there's precious little left of the golden days of the 1 920s and '30s when Bucharest was known as Llttle Parls." "Of course, there have been golden days for Romanla since then." "Many of which Involved their world number one tennis player of the 1 9 70s, Ille Nastase." "0h, well, I say!" "I've never been in a tennis superstar's home before," " So show me!" " I'm not any more!" " Well, no!" " I've a house but I'm not superstar!" "PALIN:" "Well, there you are!" "That was the superstar days!" "ILIE:" "There's one with the ugly Tiriac there, also!" "0h, my God!" "How long have you been in this house?" " Thirty three years!" " Right!" "You ever wanted to live in another city?" " Yeah, New York!" " Yeah!" "And also Rome, but I was in New York first" " And I don't have time for Rome after!" " Yeah!" "I feel I know you!" " 0kay!" " Because I've seen you so often," " And followed your!" " I think I saw you, too!" " 0h, really!" "Not playing tennis!" " No, seriously, seriously!" " Not playing tennis!" "No, no!" " No, no!" " So when you decided!" " I know your face, but I don't know from where, but I saw!" "Yeah!" " Way back, way back!" " Way back?" "Me, too!" "(B0TH LAUGHING)" "When you were a tennis superstar in the '70s, what was it like here in Ceausescu's Communist Romania?" "And yet being able to leave the country and go to the bright lights of the West!" "Did you feel a bit in two worlds?" "Well, it was difficult for me because, you know, I was living mostly in the West, and I play in the West all the time, and when I have to play Davis Cup I have to come back" "and I know the situation was not very good because my parents told me what's happening!" "They have a good life but the other people not!" "We're looking at new Europe and how it's changing!" "How much has Romania changed since the fall of Communism?" "Unfortunately, I think, people, they have more freedom, but they have less money, unfortunately!" "I'm talking about general people, not the few of them who are very rich!" "And they have not millions but billions, some of them!" "But, unfortunately, like I said, now freedom is there, but they cannot travel!" "Before they have the money to travel, they don't have the passports!" "Sorry, this is slightly a different tack, and it may be rather personal, but I did read a quote where you said you'd slept with 250,000!" "Sorry, no, 250,000 women!" " No, 2,500!" " 2,500 women!" "Well, not exactly like that but I just said that!" "Well, I cannot tell you the story because then the autobiography is not going to sell any books!" "No, no, no!" "I did with David Beckham!" " She's English, the lady!" "I did a book!" " Right!" " And, of course!" " That's a round figure!" "He came to me and asked me" ""How many girls you think you sleep with?"" "I said, "I don't know, I never counted, but!"" "I said, "I'm 30 years!" I put 30 years, you know, and I didn't put more than 30 years!" "I said, "30 years!" ""Maybe three a month, four a month, five a month!" ""It's, you know, almost 2,000!" ""No, no," I said, "800, 900!"" "And then she said, "No, no!" "It cannot be like this!" ""First of all, it doesn't look good for your reputation," ""it doesn't look good for my book!" "Can't sell the book!"" "And then I said, "0kay!" I said, "2,500!"" ""That's sounds very good," she said!" "So I said, "That's what I said!" But it is a joke, you know!" "I think I'll try and say that!" " Yeah!" " I think you can get away with it!" "I probably can't!" "No, but it's!" "You know, you never count!" "For me, the one who counts is the last one!" "In the villages and towns of northern Romanla, we saw the legacy of the past respected." "Ceausescu, the son of peasants, slgnally failed to do the same for Bucharest." "He treated the capital as his plaything, destroying lives and history In the process." "Well, the time has come for me to leave this rather oddly endearing mess of a capital, which seems to have got over the indignities of the Ceausescu years, and well on the way to becoming Little Paris again" "or maybe Little Milan!" "It's time to head on back to the Danube, my highway through Europe!" "At the spot where a Roman bridge once spanned this far frontier of their empire," "I walk with Dan Badarau, who was born and brought up here." "A Natlonal Theatre actor, he's also much In demand to play baddles" "In Amerlcan action movies." "The Ideal person, perhaps, to escort me out of Romanla." "A massive hydro-electrlc plant has transformed this dramatic stretch of the Danube from a turbulent gorge called the Iron Gates to a wide, windswept sea." " The gorge is!" " There!" " There, yes!" " Where those rocks are, yes!" "You'll see it!" "It's fantastic!" "The whole thing narrows!" "It's very, very tight!" "The Danube here is like a big lake!" "Ahead of me and Dan, another gorge waits to be navigated." "And now you'll see, in one minute, a huge statue of our ancient king, Decebal!" " Really?" " Yes!" "Where is it?" "Round, just round the inlet there?" "Yes!" "PALIN:" "Strange place for a statue!" "I still can't see anything!" " The eyes!" " 0h, yes!" " Nose!" " 0h!" "Yes!" " Huge moustache!" " That's very good!" "And what does it say?" "PALIN:" "Decebalus rex..." "DAN:" "Latin!" "DAN:" "Decebalus rex Dragan feclt." " PALIN:" "Dragan made it!" " Dragan made it!" "Yes!" "PALIN:" "Now, who is Dragan?" "DAN:" "He got his fortune in Italy and now he gave a gift" " For the Romanian people!" "Yes!" " Gift to the Romanian people?" "King Decebalus is a hero of the country?" "Yes, he's a hero because he fight with the Romans!" " Ah, right!" " With Traian, Emperor Traian!" " Trajan, yes, Trajan!" " Traian, yes!" "As we approach the gorge," "I experience a feeling that the Roman legionnaires might once have shared, of leaving a far-off outpost as the Danube carries me onwards."