"Let us all stand." "Place our right hand... on the chest of the person next to us." "Let us wear our mustache." "And let us all sing the anthem of all suave men." "Are you looking at the sky?" "It seems that you're looking far beyond" "My only wish is to make you smile" "This is my affection" "My love has been tested" "You're the only one in this world for me" "Hear my heart beat" "Come and join me" "I am Mr. Suave" "Ooh..." "I'm a girl magnet" "Day and night" "Yes, I am Mr. Suave" "Oohh..." "My dashing moves" "Leave them awestruck" "And if I need to make you happy" "Don't hesitate to call me" "My suave mustache can tickle you." "I am Mr. Suave" "Oohh..." "I'm a girl magnet" "Day and night" "Yes, I am Mr. Suave" "Oohh..." "My dashing moves" "Leave them awestruck" "Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" "Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" "Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" "Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" "Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" "Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" "Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" "Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" "Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" "Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" "Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" "Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" "Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" "Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" "Rico." "I want to buy some of your shrimps." " I'll get two kilos." " Give me the big ones!" "Please." "Could you attend to my order first?" " Shrimps." " They look so fresh!" "Add some more for me." "Rico!" "Because you have a gorgeous smile." "you'll have two shrimps free." "Thank you." "Because you're a sexy pregnant lady..." " You'll have one free shrimp." " Lucky you!" "Thank you!" "Here's my payment." " Me too!" "Here's my payment." " I got it!" "Two kilos." "One moment please!" " Thanks Rico." " Thanks to you too." "Hi Rico!" " I'll buy it all." " Really?" " Your shrimps are very tasty." " Let me buy it all." "Keep it cool girls!" "I'll divide these for both of you to make it fair." " Okay." " Here it is!" "They say your shrimps are great when served raw." " I guess they are." " Keep the change." "Here's mine." "Please keep the change." " Thank you." " Thanks." "Hi." "Rico." "How's your shrimp business?" "It's doing quite fine." "Mr. Tea." " You're lucky." " How about yours?" "My congee business is turning bad." "Almost everyone eats here for free." "Rico." "Take a break first." "Have a cigarette." "Sorry." "I quit smoking." "I don't want my body to end up like yours." "I'm happy we're together again here in my eatery." "You've all grown up!" "I've missed you all." "We need to get into this theater tour in Japan." "Even if we need to qualify just as bit players." "I suggest that we trim our expectations." "No." "This is my only way to get to Japan." "They better pick me or else..." "Miss Venus Marte?" "'Tis but thy name." "that is my enemy." "Thou are thyself." "thou not a Montagwe." " Montague!" " Montague." "What's Montague?" "It is nor hand." "nor foot." "Nor arm..." " Nor face..." " Okay!" "That's enough." "Thank you." "What do you mean?" "Did I pass the audition or not?" "You're reading the script and yet you couldn't deliver well." "We'll call you Ms. Marte." "How arrogant of you!" "Don't you know that it's so hard to read this junk?" "Hey you!" "Tell your scriptwriter that his script stinks!" "Rico." "Why are you so attractive to women?" "Better share us this talent of yours." "I don't have disease." "Not disease!" "Share your talent with us." " Do you really want to know my secret?" " Yes." "Share them with us." "Please." " Yes." "Your secret." " Share your secret!" "Come on!" " Promise?" " Promise!" "Okay." "Move closer." "First." "this thing should be removed." " Amboy!" "Remove this." " Yes." "Sir." "Thanks." "Amboy." "Second." "If you happen to see a girl who's alone." "Approach her." "But you should arm yourself with your own pick-up line." " Pick up?" " What's a pick up line?" " How do you make one?" " For example..." "Hi!" "Do you come here often?" "No." " Well." "That's one." " One what?" "One thing we have in common." " By the way." "I'm Rico." " I'm Scarlet." " It's nice meeting you." " One orange juice." "Please." " Angel?" " No." "Oh." "I'm sorry." "I thought you're an angel." "Because you look like one." "You should be a gentleman." "Excuse me." "Miss." "Can I help you?" "Sure." "Thanks." "There's more." "Aren't you a house thief?" " No." "I'm not." " Are you sure?" "Thank you very much." "No problem." "Fourth." "you must have... a suave look." "Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" "Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" "Get ready later!" " We will have a suave men's night." " Suave men's night!" "Let's meet at the meeting place later." "You know where it is." "Right?" "Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" "Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" "Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" "Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" "Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" "Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" "Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" "Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" "Let's go forth and multiply." "The things to remember when courting a girl is..." "You need to court her whole family." " Good evening." "Sir Rico!" " Good evening." " Hey!" " For you" " Thanks!" " You're welcome." "Hey Boris!" "Including the family pet." " Hello." " Good evening." "Sir Rico!" " Congee for you." " Wow!" "Is this my favorite congee?" " Yes." " Thank you very much." "Please come inside." "Ma'am has been waiting for you." "That's right." "The housemaid." "Too." "Rico!" " For you." " A robot toy again?" "Thanks." "Wait." "I'll just call my mom." " Mom!" " Okay." "Of course." "You should also court the girl's sibling." "But the most important of all is her mother." "Hi!" " For you." " What's that?" " Your favorite." " Really?" "Let me see." "Steamed shrimps?" " Yes." " It's my favorite indeed!" "I'll just bring this to the kitchen." "Feel at home." "Okay?" " Sure." " Okay." "Hi." "Rico." "Did I keep you waiting?" "I'm sorry." "It's okay." "You are worth waiting for." "You're so sweet." " For me?" " For you." "Thank you so much." "Come on." "Let's go." "Hi!" "Hello!" "Do you come here often or after one?" "What?" "Because you're special..." "I'll give you this special congee." "Moron!" "How could you give congee to a congee-vendor?" "Go to hell!" "Good evening." "Sir." "For you." "Do you think I'm a dog." "Huh?" "For you." "Not again!" "Leave me alone!" "Good evening." "Mom." "Don't call me Mom because I don't know you." "I'm just fetching your daughter." "Joan." "And why?" "By the way Mom." "I brought something for you." "Marlboro cigarettes." "This brand is rare nowadays." "Oh my God!" "How horrible!" "So you're the one who taught my daughter how to smoke." "Get out of my house." "you fool!" "Let's go." "Romantic!" "It's so romantic here." "Have a seat." "Thank you." "Rico." "My pleasure." "Good evening." "Sir." "May I offer you some drinks?" " Hey." "Bobby." " Bob!" "Please give us two glasses of red wine." "Rico baby." "I want to order something hot." "Can you please give us..." "a hot water?" "No." "Honey." "I mean I want something spicy." "You know..." "something to make me hot." "Waiter?" "You got it." "Waiter?" "Coming right up." "Sir!" " Thanks for guesting." "Bobby." " Isn't he handsome?" "Do you come here often?" "It's so romantic!" "No." "It's my first time here." "Too." "But." "I want to bring you here." " Really?" " Have a seat." " How about you?" " After you." " So." "Rico..." " Yes?" "Tell me about your shrimp." "Wait." "I'll brush my teeth first." "How?" "Why now?" "You don't have to." "Rico." "I'm sure you've got fresh breath." "No." "Not tonight." "Please." "Rico." "I want you to show me your moves." "Oh Rico!" "Hug me tighter." "I'm sorry." "When your girlfriend breaks up with you... her whole family breaks up with you too... including the family pet." "Ouch!" "Guys." "I'll go ahead." "Rico..." "we're not drunk yet." "That's right." "Besides." "I haven't sung." "Don't leave yet." " It's still early." " Come on!" "Let's do this next time." "I'm tired." "You know..." "I'll take this with me." "Okay?" "Goodbye." "Rico?" " Rico Suave." "Is that you?" " Stella!" "Hey." "How are you?" "Who else would smell like that?" "It's been a long time since we saw each other." "Yeah." "Do you have a girlfriend now?" "None yet." "Well." "I've got a boyfriend now." "He's a doctor." "I met him the last time we went out." "Excuse me." "Are you Stella?" "Yes." "Rico Suave?" "Is that you?" "Pleasure to meet you." "How sweet." "Thank you." " Stella?" " Yes?" "Your lipstick is smudged." " May I?" " Sure!" "Sorry for that." "I didn't notice it because I was in a hurry." "That's so sweet of you." "That's better." " Thank you." " What do you want to order?" "No thanks!" "I'm not eating." " Perhaps we don't need to eat at all." " Where do you want to go after this?" "I want to watch a movie." "I haven't experienced that yet." "I see." "Waiter!" "Keep the change." "Stella." "your shoes are mismatched." "Are they?" "I'm sorry." "I didn't notice it because I was in a hurry." "It's okay." "Let's go." " I'm sorry." " My apologies." "I didn't mean it." "What is happening to you." "Stella?" "I'm sorry." "Rico." "I didn't tell you." "You see..." "I can't see." "I'm blind." "Do you regret that I am your blind date?" "No." "I don't." "In fact." "I'm filled with happiness." "So." "Can we go now?" " Okay." " Let's go!" "I'm sorry again." "I'm really sorry." "I didn't mean it." "Let's go." "Rico." "I left my bag." "I'll just get it." "Stella!" "You're so stubborn." "Stella." "are you sure you're okay?" "If you want." "we can skip the movie." "Don't worry about me." "I'm fine." "I only bruised myself." "This is nothing." "Here are vacant seats." "Great!" "Thank you." "Do you want some snacks?" "Popcorn?" "Soft drinks?" "No thanks." "Don't bother." "Oh my God." "Rico." "I left my bag again." " Wait a minute." "I'll just get it." " Hey!" "Why are you so stubborn?" "Do you want me to end your life here?" "How could you say that!" "I just said that I left my bag again." "You hurt me." "Come on and sit beside me." "It's chilly here." "Huh?" "It's so quiet too." "Few people are watching the film." "that's why." "I see." "Is the movie about to start?" "Is it?" "Is it?" "Is it?" "Is it?" "Yes." "He's my eye doctor." "Free of charge." "By the way." "I have a gift for you." "Wow!" "Is this a wallet?" "Honey!" "Honey?" "Honey." "Meet Rico." "Rico." "Meet Ernie..." " My boyfriend." " Nice meeting you." "Nice meeting you." "Too." "Goodbye." "Honey." "Who's that?" "And why did he kiss you?" "It's nothing." "We we're just reminiscing." "Don't worry." "We're okay now." "He's actually my first kiss." "Your first kiss?" "Yes." "But don't worry." "nothing happened between us... because when I kissed him..." "That's why nothing happened." "It's our secret." "Okay?" "That's a lie!" "Rico's not like that!" " And who are you?" " Wait!" "Sorry." "but we can't help overhear you." "That's right." "Rico is our buddy." "Hey you!" " I don't care..." " Honey!" "whether you believe me or not." "But I bet you that your friend is still a virgin." "How can you be so sure?" "You see." "When I kissed him..." "It's our secret." "Okay?" " Good evening." "Dr. Martin." " What can I do for you?" "I have a problem." "What is it?" " Is it money?" " No." "Doctor." "Every time I go out on a date and go to a romantic place... something happens to me." " What is it?" " You know..." " It's..." " What?" "It's... you know..." "What?" "That's good." "You don't need to take Viagra." "You don't understand me." "Doctor." "This is what happened." "Is it?" "Is it?" "I can't stand to look." "Rico?" "Rico?" "What's wrong?" "Why?" "I don't see anything wrong." "Rico!" "Rico!" "Answer me." "I'm talking to you." "Doctor!" "Rico." "Are you okay?" "I know." "You don't feel well." "Right?" "I have some medicine in my bag." "Wait." "I'll just get it." "This young man has a big problem." "Doctor." "There's more." "Come on." "Rico!" "Show me your moves." "Oh." "Rico!" "Rico." "Are you okay?" "Rico?" "What happened to you." "Rico?" "Help." "Don't worry." "Come on." "Doctor." "Come on!" "Help." "Hurry." "What if I break you into pieces and assemble you back later?" "According to my research." "your disease is called..." " Anorection Nervosa." " What is that." "Doctor?" "Anorection nervosa... is a sexual dysfunction triggered by sudden rush of blood... at the neck up to the head... which causes epileptic paralysis or sometimes even death." "Doctor!" "Is there a cure?" "Yes." "I'll give you a prescription." "Thanks." " Five tablets of attapulgite?" " To harden it." "( or Palygorskite, an antidiarrheal medicine )" " One cup of coconut oil?" " To smoothen it." " Baking powder?" " To thicken it..." "One lock of curly hair from a barber?" "To help you to fight nervousness." " Are you sure about these." "Doctor?" " Why?" "Have you seen a nervous barber?" " Not yet." "Have you?" " I have." "Thanks." "Doctor." "You're welcome." "Boys." "Rico is our friend." "Friends don't desert each other!" "We need to help him out." "We will help Rico." "Okay?" "Hi!" "Hello!" "We need a woman." "She must be of good breeding." "graceful in her moves... one who looks like she's convent-bred." "You have?" "Your wife?" "How much is her fee?" "You're sure about this?" "Great body?" "Okay!" "Come again?" "Handsome?" "You fool!" "Don't you ever come here!" "Hey." "Wait a minute." "Okay?" "Just wait!" "Uncle..." "Auntie used to be a prostitute." "Right?" "Babe." "I took a shower already." "I'm not in the mood." "You don't have to be in the mood." "Just three rounds." "Stop bugging me!" "Will you?" "What's the problem?" "You know." "There's something weird with our son." "He seems to be hiding something from us." "Mael." "you think he's into drugs?" "Tippy!" " Come here you little rascal!" " Why Dad?" "Ouch!" "How could you?" "You're still in Grade One and you're not even circumcised yet." "But you already have a vice!" "Ouch!" "Babe!" "What now?" "Not Tippy!" "Our other son." "Rico." "That's what I've been telling you." "Go ahead and talk to him." " Rico..." " I don't do drugs." "He said he doesn't do drugs." "Rico." "What are you doing?" "I'm just trying out a prescription my doctor gave me." " Prescription?" " Prescription?" "My son... are you ill?" "Dad." "Weren't you a barber before?" "Yes." "Would you like a haircut?" "I need some hair." "Curly ones." "My son." "I'll give you some." "Thanks." "Dad." "Catch them." "I need more." "Dad." "Careful." "I might go bald." "What's happening?" "Rico?" "What's happening to you?" "I'm okay." "Mom." "Dad." "Ouch!" "Help." "For goodness' sake..." "Hey." "There's somebody crying for help." " Miss!" "Is somebody raping you?" " What is happening here?" "He fell asleep on top of me." "Help me please." "I can't breathe!" " Let's help her." " Let me!" "Open the door." "He might be too heavy." "Help her!" "I can't breathe!" "Hurry up." "Please!" "Push it!" "What happened?" "Thanks." "Miss." "Can you light my fire?" "You're such a hot chick!" "What's your name?" "You must be an angel because you look like an angel." "No." "I'm Venus." "That's why you look like a planet." "Planet." "Planet." "Cut it out!" "You can't put one over me." " This pig has no money!" " Hey!" "What are you doing with the man's wallet?" "He hasn't paid me yet." "Boys!" "I think we have found our girl." " Hello." "Venus." " Hello." "Venus." "By the way." "Venus." "this is our friend." "Rico." "Hi." "Venus." "I'm not Venus." "I'm going to the restroom." "Which one is Venus?" " There she is!" " There she is!" "Hi." "Rico." "Have we met before?" "Rico is a shy guy." "Huh?" "Rico!" "Rico!" "Hey guys." "I have to go." "It's nice meeting you." "Rico." "Rico!" "Rico!" " Rico!" " What's happening to you?" "You turned into ice." "You can be frigid." "Too." "Your prescription was useless." "Doctor." "Stop blaming me." "Be glad I still helped you." "I think I'll never get a cure for my disease." "Wait a minute." "Perhaps you're gay." " Big brother!" " Where's Mom?" "Mom?" "Mom." "Mom!" "Mom!" "Mom!" " Mom!" " Hey!" "Stop that!" "I'm watching TV." "Sit over here." "Do you have a problem?" " Mom..." " Yes?" "How was I when I was small?" "You were a baby." "Of course... with one head." "two legs." "And two arms." "What I mean is..." "What was I fond of when I was still a kid?" "Do you really want to know?" "You know." "Son..." "You were very cute way back then." "We thought we'd have a baby girl." "When you came out of my womb." "we didn't expect we'll see a tiny prick." "There." "See?" "Aren't you so cute?" "Mom?" "That's not me." "That's a girl." "Yes!" "That's you!" "Big brother!" "I never knew you were such an ugly kid." " Tippy." "You were uglier." " No!" "I don't think so." "Wait up." "Mom." "Tell me." "How did I behave wearing these girl's clothes?" "You were so comfortable in that dress." "That's why I kept a strict watch over you." "I told your Mom." "her son might turn into a daughter!" "But through God's mercy." "obviously that didn't happen." "However." "Many say that... homosexuality can manifest during adulthood." "Wait a minute..." "Don't tell me you're a..." "Since when did you find out?" " So you're gay?" " Dad." "Stop it!" " You're a faggot!" " I said stop it!" "We're one family!" "We shouldn't hurt each other." "Please don't hurt our son." "What's the truth." "Rico?" "Are you really gay?" "I don't know." " How dare you!" " It hurts!" "You should be ashamed!" "I didn't give birth to a faggot!" "Faggot!" "Queer!" " I'm the only woman in this family!" " Please!" "He's your son!" "Dad." "Mom." "I'm not gay." "See?" "He's not gay after all." "I'm a lesbian." "Venus!" "Don't disturb me." "Don't you see I'm busy?" "What's your problem?" "Remember our friend." "Rico?" "Perhaps you might want to help us restore his virility." "So he won't end up going for men." "Down payment first." "Down payment?" "Mr. Tea!" "It's unfair!" "I always end up shouldering the cost!" " Hush!" " How much?" "Ten thousand pesos." "Ten thousand?" "Stop asking me if I miss you" " Stop bugging me because I'll tell you." " Hi!" "Do you come here often?" " Stop teasing me" " I come here often." "You might get surprised" "Even if you ignore me" " I'll still love you" " Would you like to drink?" "Stop pulling my leg, I might believe you" "I'll love you even if you don't want me to" "If ever you decide to stop it" " Then don't start it" " Would you like some water?" "You might get surprised if I fall for you" "Stop teasing me, I might fall for you" "Stop saying you love me" "I might give you my heart" "Stop asking me" " I might answer you" " Hi Rico!" "Stop saying you love me" " Because I might give you my heart" " Would you like some?" " One for Rico." "Please." " Yes ma'am." " Hearts are easy to flare up" " Would you like yours well-done?" "once you provoke it" "Stop teasing me I might end up with you" "Stop teasing me I might fall for you" "Hey Rico." "we heard you're ignoring Venus." "Didn't I tell you I'm staying away from women?" "What's happening to you?" "You're acting strange lately." "How do we go out without women?" " Wow!" "Sexy!" " Let's check her out!" "Hey." "Miss!" "You're so gorgeous." "What's your name?" "No women for me." "If we happen to meet some." "I'd be happy to be just a friend." " A friend?" " A friend?" " How rude of you!" " Guys!" "She says he's rude!" "You're all rude!" " Come on!" "Give me what you've got." " You're tough." "Huh?" "Hey!" "Let go of me!" "Somebody help me!" "Guys." "Let's help her." "It's just an act." " An act?" " What act?" "It looks real." "Rico!" "Stop!" "Let go of me." "Leave her alone." "What do you care?" "Take this!" "And this!" "Rico." "Anyone else?" "Anyone else who wants to fight?" " Let's go!" " Wait for me!" "Who did this to you?" " You..." " I'll defend you." "Come back here." "You cowards!" "Son." "Wake up." " Son." " Wake up." "Be gentle." " Son?" " Hey!" "Wake up!" "Dad!" "Mom!" "What are you doing here?" "I'm not gay." "Don't worry." "Son." "Your father won't harm you." "Why are you here?" "Is there a problem?" "Son." "We came here because tomorrow is your birthday." "Right?" "Yes." "How old are you?" "You'll be turning twenty-five tomorrow." "Right?" "Your father and I are just worried." "Don't you have any plans of settling down yet?" "You know." "We... settle down at the age of twenty five." "Son." "Don't fail us." "Okay?" "We've been waiting for a grandchild from you for a long time now." "And just make sure that your partner is a woman." "Okay?" "Tell me about your new prospect victim." "You even had him beat you up!" "It's nothing." "Rico Suave is his name." "Rico Suave?" "Beware of him." "Venus." "I heard that Rico Suave has a great sex appeal." "You know him?" "Of course!" "My God." "who doesn't know him?" "Muscular." "Handsome." "And most of all." "A suave guy." "It seems you like him." "He's all yours if you want." "Hey." "I'm just pointing out Rico's traits." "Are you jealous?" "You've fallen for him." "Huh?" "What are you talking about?" "Hustlers like us must not fall in love." "We make our customers get drunk." "then we rob them." "With this easy going life." "we can easily achieve our goals." "Hi." "Rico." "One kilo of shrimps." "Please." " One kilo." "Miss?" " Give her one kilo of shrimps." "Tomas." "No." "Not you." "I want Rico to serve me." "Miss." "Tomas is my assistant." "I'm his boss." "And he follows my every order." "Never mind." "Shrimps." "Please." "But I want Rico to service me." "Why are you all after me?" "I'm not for sale." "You seem to be in a bad mood." " What did you say?" " Snob!" " Hey Rico." "Why are you in a bad mood?" " Headache?" "Nothing." "I'm just upset." "That's all." "Really?" "It doesn't show." "I have an idea to make our suave night different." "Once we spot a girl." "let's stick together." "Yes!" "Birds of the same feather." "flock together." "Flock together..." "I'll be honest to you." "I wish to take a break from dating and flirting with women." "I want to do some soul-searching." "I want to be alone." "Hey Rico!" "Look what you've done to me." " I did this?" " That hurts." "What happened?" "You punched me last night when you were trying to save me." "I did?" " Yes." "You!" " Yes." "You!" "But how can I?" "You know very well that I can never do that to a pretty girl like you." "So fair." "So young." "And so fresh." "I'm sorry." "I don't need your apology." "You make it up to me." "Take me out to dinner." "What?" "Go ahead." "Rico." "Take her to dinner." "Just dinner." "No hanky panky." "Okay!" "Just dinner." "Unless." "You have other things in mind." "No!" "I'm not interested." "Then it's just dinner." "Okay." "Just dinner." "I'll be at your house by 7:00 pm." "I'm a man of punctuality." "If the clock strikes 7:01 and I'm not yet there." "Our date is canceled." "Okay." "Bye." " Okay!" " Okay!" "Good evening." "Venus." "Who are you?" "Rico wants you to have this." "And he says he's sorry." "What?" "He's sorry." "Where is he?" "He went home." " The nerve of him!" " It hurts!" "Hey!" "Wait up!" "Where do you think you're going?" "Trying to run away from me." "Huh?" "No." "I'm just trying to get your bag." "I mean." "I was just looking for something." "For what?" "You think I'm stupid?" "I am not about to be stood up by you." "Look." "I've already put on my make-up." "And once I've done that." "there's no turning back for me." "One more thing." "I'm starving." "So." "Let's go!" "I made this especially for Rico." "Make him drink this and he'll return to his old self." "What is this." "Doctor?" "A special brew mixed with a lesbian's eyebrow." "We'll have two orders of baked oysters... two orders of lamb chops." "Medium rare... and two glasses of red wine." " Okay." " Yes." "Ma'am." "Thank you." "Waiter!" "Wait." "My date hasn't ordered yet." "Rico." "Go ahead and order." " Sir." " Sorry." "I thought you also ordered take out for your parents." "I told you." "I'm starving." "I can see that." "Well." "Three spicy gambas... three lamb chops." "Well done." "And red wine." "Three glasses." "Sir?" "Three bottles." "Yes." "Sir." "Excuse me." "I'll just go to the restroom." "Sure." "take your time." "Venus!" "Don't forget your mission." "Okay?" "I know." "What are you doing here." "Anyway?" "We need to give you something..." "Your balance payment?" "No." "We agreed to pay after you complete your mission." "Right?" "Take this!" "What's this?" "That's for Rico." "You need to make Rico drink it..." "Why?" " Just do it!" " Just do it!" "I'm sorry." "Rico." "Did I make you wait long?" "The restroom was crammed with people." "You don't have to explain." "It's fine." "Is this your wallet?" " I saw it on the floor." " Thanks." "Let's eat before the food gets cold." "Happy birthday in advance!" "Thank you." "Why?" "Nothing." "They say that one can tell a woman's character... by the food she orders on her first date." "Oysters." "For example." "You're like an oyster." "You have hard shell on the outside... because you're hiding something tender inside." "Medium rare lamb chops which is not cooked well... and yet not exactly raw." "It means you hate extremes." "You prefer to place yourself in the middle." "So whenever you make a decision." "you want to play it safe." "So that if you fail." "you don't get hurt that much." "Of course." "there's red wine." "Look." "Doesn't it resemble fresh blood?" "But the truth is." "red wine is sweet." "You need to taste them first before making any judgement." "Rico." "What I really wanted was Angus steak." "I decided to choose lamb chops because it's cheaper." "If you really want to know a woman's character... you must exert an effort to get to know her." "Don't rely on mere theories." "One more thing." "It's usually a give and take formula." "No woman would let you know her true self... without introducing yourself first." "You need to earn her trust before she reveals herself to you." "Do you understand what I'm saying?" "Yes." "Come on." "Let's eat." " Cheers!" " Cheers!" "Excuse me." "Mr. Rico Suave?" " Yes?" " You have a phone call." "Sir." "Excuse me." "Hello?" "Yes." "Tippy." "What?" "What happened to Mom?" "A heart attack?" "Okay." "we'll be right there." "Mom?" "Mom!" "Mom!" "Mom!" "Mom!" " Happy birthday!" " Happy birthday!" "Big brother." "Happy birthday!" "I love you!" "Big brother." "Happy birthday!" "I love you!" "Happy birthday!" "Happy birthday!" "Happy birthday son." "I'm proud of you." "What's your birthday wish?" "Dad!" "Mom!" "You should have informed me first about this... so I won't panic." " That's why it's a surprise." "Son!" " Surprise!" "By the way." "I want to introduce my friend." "Venus." " Hello!" " So." "It's you!" "My child!" "Daddy." "Our child!" "Greet your father." "Venus." " Hello." " Give respect." "Tippy!" "Ruben!" " Greet your sister." " How do you do." "Big sister?" "You know son." "Of all the girls you brought home..." "I like her the most." "But Mom." "She's the first and only girl I brought home." "I'll introduce you to the entire family." "Come on." "Join me." " Pedring!" "My son is not gay!" " Happy birthday." "Elsie." "Susie!" "My son is not gay." "My son is not gay!" "She's so fair-skinned." "Isn't she?" "That's your Aunt Diding!" "Diding." "Meet Venus." "And here's your Aunt Joyce!" "She's so fair-skinned!" "How lovely!" "Hey Conchita!" "Meet Venus." "Come on." "one happy birthday song for Rico!" " All right!" " All right!" "Happy happy happy birthday!" "Happy happy happy birthday!" "Happy happy happy birthday!" "Happy birthday son!" "Happy birthday." "My child." "Dad." "Mom." "Everyone." "Thank you very much." "Venus." "Are you okay there?" "Yes." "I am." "I hope you didn't mind meeting everyone." "Even when they harassed you." "That's fine with me." "It's your birthday anyway." "Don't worry about me." "Take care of your guests." "It's your birthday." "Sorry for being mistaken as my girlfriend." "Since this is the first time I brought a girl here." "That's okay." "You worry too much." "Take care of your guests." "It's your birthday." " Are you sure you're okay?" " Yes." "Don't worry." "Fine." "See you later." "Come here." "Listen everyone." "To sing for us... from the bottom of her heart... to her beloved Rico." "Everybody." "Let's give a round of applause for Venus!" "My mind is so confused I don't know what to do" "I find it hard to catch your attention" "Whenever we cross paths My heart beats like crazy" "Even my knees tremble like mad" "There you are again Flashing your lovely eyes" "I freeze at their sight" "Mr. Dreamboy, Mr. Dreamboy I wonder what's on your mind" "Mr. Dreamboy, Mr. Dreamboy You're always in my dreams" "I talk to you in my dream You are so sweet" "We hold each other's hands" "I wish I would never awaken from this dream" "Here I am, lost and confused I don't know what to do" "Daydreaming of you all day" "Thinking of you Your charming eyes" "And your really gorgeous smile" "There you are again flashing your lovely eyes" "I freeze at their sight" "Come on son." "Don't be shy!" "Mr. Dreamboy, Mr. Dreamboy I wonder what's on your mind" "Mr. Dreamboy, Mr. Dreamboy" " You're always in my dreams" " They look good together!" "I hope I can tell you my precious little secret" "That you're my one and only dreamboy" " Kiss her!" "Hurry!" " Kiss her!" "Mr. Dreamboy, Mr. Dreamboy I wonder what's on your mind" "Mr. Dreamboy, Mr. Dreamboy You're always in my dreams" "I hope I can tell you my precious little secret" "That you're my one and only dreamboy Always my dreamboy" " That you're my one and only dreamboy" " Come on." "Son!" "Don't be shy!" "Kiss!" "Venus!" "Don't forget to let Rico drink the potion." "Thank you." "Okay." "I'll go have some." "For your birthday." "Rico." "These were all my idea." "Look at your brothers' moustaches?" "They look so good on them." "Right?" "My child." "Has something happened between you and Rico already?" "What?" " Nothing." " Come on!" "You know how hard it is to invite our relatives." "Say "ahh!"" "Open your mouth." "What a beautiful set of teeth!" "Just like mine." "This is all for you." "My son." "You're so pretty." "Go and elope with him!" "Come on." "Let's drink!" "See you around." "Hi there!" "Can I ask you something?" "I hope you don't mind." " Are you still a virgin?" " What?" "You blushed!" "That means you're still a virgin." "I guess you're the right girl for my son." "You know what." "We love Rico so much." "So don't worry because we will also love you as much." "Thank you." "Excuse me." "Someone's calling me." "I'll be right back." "Hello." "Hello?" "Hi!" "Is there a problem?" "I have two bad news for you." "Which one would you like to hear first?" "Do I have a choice?" "The organizer of the play in Japan called up." " Really?" " Yes." "I got accepted... but you didn't." "Stop crying." "You're exaggerating." "I can still go to Japan." "As soon as I save enough money for my fare... and after this racket is through... we'll still be together in Japan." "Actually." "The other bad news is... thieves got into our house." "Everything is gone except the aquarium." "They didn't spare even the money in our bedroom." "Venus..." "Are you okay?" "Venus?" "Is there anything I can do?" "Would you like to share it with me?" "I'll listen." "My mother is in Japan." "We haven't seen each other for ten years." "Is that the reason why you want to go to Japan?" "The play I wanted to join will tour the entire Japan." "That's the only way I have..." "to go to Japan." "My mother might be able to catch my play." "And we will reunite." "That's too bad." "I failed in the audition." "My money were stolen too." "You can still do other jobs." "you know?" "You can still earn and save money for your trip." "But I can loan you money... if you want." "Really?" "Sure." "But you barely know me." "I might just be after your money all along." "It's okay with me." "As long as you're happy." "Why?" "That's how I am." "I'm happy if I see that you're happy too." "Why?" "You ask a lot." "Enough questions." "Okay?" "Are you alright now?" "Let's go back there." "Okay." "Let's go." "You cry easily." "I thought you're tough." "Let's go." "Wipe your tears first." "Rock baby rock" "Rock into my life" "Rock baby rock" "My Dad is a good singer." "Hey, hey, hey!" "Hey, hey, hey!" "Hey, hey, hey!" "Rock baby rock" "Rock baby rock" "Hey, hey, hey!" "Hey, hey, hey!" "Hey, hey, hey!" "For every move of your body" "I go crazy over you" "I'm for you forever because we're together" "Rock baby rock" "Visit your grandparents." "Okay?" "They don't feel well that's why they didn't make it to the party." "They'll feel bad if you don't introduce Venus to them." "Okay." "You can return the car tomorrow." "You might want to bring Venus somewhere later." "Thank you." "Venus!" "Please do visit us again." "Okay?" "You're part of the family now." "Thanks a lot." "Bye!" " Thank you." " See you later." "Mom." "Dad." " Take care." " We'll go ahead." "Okay." "Guys." "Enjoy the night." "Grandfather." "Grandmother." "I want you to meet my friend." "Venus." "Venus." "Meet my grandparents." "Look at you!" "You even brought a goddess along to visit us." "You're so beautiful." "What made you fall for my ugly grandson?" "You better think again." "Grandpa..." "Good evening." "Good evening." "God bless you." " You're so pretty." " Thank you." "We hope we could still see our future great grandchildren." "Hurry up in making one because we might die soon." "Stop talking like that." "Will you?" "It scares me." "At our age." "We're not afraid to die anymore." "We have already accomplished what we wanted in life." "What's that?" "To grow old together." "How sweet of you." "Sweet?" "She really is." "She's diabetic." "Even ants gather around her urine." "I used to fear death." "But not anymore." "Why?" "If I die first." "I'm sure my wife will follow soon." "Hey!" "Do you really think I'd die first?" "You'd go first!" " No." "You!" " No." "You!" "You!" "You!" "God will take you first!" "Grandpa!" "Grandpa." "Grandma." "We have to go." "See you later." "Thank you for coming over." "Feel free to visit us again." "Okay?" "I will." "Venus." "Hurry up with our great grandchild." "Okay?" "If only Rico is not such a slowpoke." "You take care of him." "Okay?" "You always pick on me." "Huh?" "Remember." "You will face many trails in life... but If you could uphold your love for each other... through all those challenges." "nothing on earth can separate you." "Thank you." "Grandma." "Thank you." "Grandpa." "Bye." "Venus." "Thanks again." "Take care of Venus." "Okay?" "I will." "Rico?" "Yes?" "What if you met me in a different place and in a different situation." "Would you still court me?" "Of course." "What if you discovered something bad about me?" "Would you still court me?" "I should have known." "Wait." "Am I forbidden to think?" " I was just kidding." " Hey." "Rico!" " Uncle!" " Happy birthday." "Thank you." "My apologies." "I got stuck in traffic." "I went to your house but your mother said... you're here at grandpa's house so I came here instead." "No problem." "It's okay." "Uncle." "By the way." "I'd like you to meet my friend." "Venus." "Meet my Uncle Bodjie." "Hello." " Hi." "Venus." " Hello." "Your friend looks shy." "Yes." "She is." "Venus?" "Her name sounds familiar." "Venus." "Venus." "Venus?" "It's her!" "It's her!" "The nerve of you!" "Uncle!" "Wait a minute." "You know each other?" "Don't you know who this is?" "She's a prostitute." "Do you know what she did to me?" "She fooled me." "She made me fall sleep." "Then she stole my wallet and got my cash." "I ended up hiking my way back home." " The nerve!" " Uncle." "Wait!" "My apologies." "Venus." "Uncle." "You were drunk then." "You might have mistaken her for a different girl." "Drunk?" "This girl is really a prostitute." "She tricked me." "Hold it." "Uncle." "Is my uncle right." "Venus?" "Are you a prostitute?" "She's not only a prostitute." "She's a hustler and a thief!" " Wait until I get my fists on you!" " Uncle!" " Where's my money?" " Uncle!" "Stop it!" "Venus!" " Venus!" " Rico!" "Venus!" "Venus." "Venus." "I'm sorry." "I didn't mean what I said." "I was shocked." "Don't I have the right to feel shocked?" "I never had troubles in my jobs before." "But now." "Because of you I feel so dirty." "I feel like a person who doesn't deserve to live!" "That's too much." "I never said anything like that." "You may be right." "You never said anything." "But with the way you look at me..." "you make me feel so cheap." "Venus." "I'm sorry." "I overreacted earlier." "I was shocked." "Okay." "I'll do anything to show you I'm really sorry." "I'll even let you have my body." "How dare you!" "But isn't that what you wanted?" "That I court you?" "I just asked you about it." "That's all." "Don't take it seriously." "You're not my type." "So quit bugging me and leave me alone." "Does that mean my suave ways are of no use to you anymore?" "Suave ways?" "They're useless." "Do you know what you are?" "A man with no character." "All your life." "You treat everything with your suave ways!" "And you?" "Do you think you're a faultless woman?" "You do anything for money." "My uncle is right all along." "You're a..." "Don't you dare judge me." "You barely know me." "Wherever you are Rico Suave." "shame on you!" "Don't ever show me your face or else I'll wipe your entire clan!" "Why do I remember you" "From the time when we first met" "Since then I already loved you" "My life I've offered to you" "Why are you gone now" "Why have I been left alone" "Didn't you say it before" "That our love is forevermore" "I wish I already knew" "That our feelings won't last" "Then I won't have to suffer this way if I never learned" "To give you my love" "Don't you know I'm hurting inside" " Rico Suave!" " Then why are you gone now" "Why have I been left alone" "Didn't you say it before that our love is forevermore" " I wish I already knew" " I can't understand this." " That our feelings won't last" " Why didn't you use our language?" "Then I won't have to suffer this way" " If I never learned" " Rico Suave!" " To give you my love" " I love you!" "Don't you know I'm hurting inside" "I wish I already knew" "That our feelings won't last" "Then I won't have to suffer this way" "To give you my love" "Don't you know that I'm hurting inside" "Don't you know that I'm hurting inside" "That's life." "Rico." "Don't take it too hard." "Are you okay?" "No." "Why don't you go find Venus?" "Venus!" "She's still mad at me." "And besides." "She doesn't like me." "That's not true." "She loves you." "I saw the way she looks at you." "That sultry." "Passionate." "Flavourful Delicious look." "That's why she loves you!" "Women like Venus don't know how to love... because she's a prostitute." "What?" "Yes." "And women like her are only after men's money." "But Venus is not a prostitute!" "What do you mean?" "Don't you understand?" "Venus is still a virgin." "She may be a thief." "but she's not a prostitute." "That's right." "We paid for her services to restore your interest in women... but she failed to do it." "And so." "She returned our money." "I think Venus has fallen for you." "I think so." "Too." "Good morning Ma'am." "I wish to talk to Venus." "Hi Rico!" "Venus just left." "I think she went to see you." "Didn't you meet her?" "If we already met." "do you think I would drop by here?" "You're smart." "You know." "She went to the park." "Thanks." "Bye!" "Venus." "What now?" "Please don't get mad." "I just need to tell you something." "What is it?" "Venus..." "I'm still a virgin." "So?" "Why are you telling me this?" "Because we went through a lot already." "What?" "You came to know my entire family." "Except me." "Let me introduce myself to you and please listen to me." "Okay." "Make sure you don't mess up again with what you'll say." "Do you remember the last time we were together?" "We had a real nice time." "Right?" "We had something then that I know you also felt in your heart." "I guess during that brief time... we were sharing something special." "I love you." "I love you." "I don't love you." "I'm only after your money." "You know." "You're a fake." "How could you say that when your eyes tell me that... you love me so much?" "I'm not as tough as you are to admit that you're a virgin... and that you love me." "Then admit it to me." "That you're still a virgin and that you love me." "You'll make me happy." "Come on." "Come on." "Say it." "I love you Rico." "Rico Suave." "I love you." "I love you too." "Venus." "Both of you are here to celebrate your love...  in an everlasting union made holy in front of the Church." "Venus, do you willfully accept this man as your husband...  whom you will love and serve for the rest of your life?" "I do." "Rico, do you willfully accept this woman as your wife...  whom you will love and serve for the rest of your life?" "I do." "Venus." "Wear this ring as a symbol of my love and fidelity to you." "In the name of the Father." "the Son." "And the Holy Spirit." "Amen." "Rico." "Wear this ring as a symbol of my love and fidelity to you." "In the name of the Father." "the Son." "And the Holy Spirit." "Amen." "Brothers and sisters, let's give them a round of applause." "You may now kiss the bride." " Kiss her!" " Kiss her!" "Rico!" "What are you doing." "Rico?" "I'm practising yoga." "It makes you perfect." "Rico..." "Come on." "Let's do it." "Can we do it tomorrow instead?" "That yoga exhausted me." "Venus?" "Venus?" "Venus!" " Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" " Venus?" "What happened to you?" "Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" " Venus?" " Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" "Venus?" "Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" "Dr. Martin?" " Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" " I've got a problem!" "Not again?" " Hey hey hey hey hey hey!" " It's Venus!" "Why?" "What happened?" "Venus!" "Oh Venus." "Why now... when I've got the hots for you!"