"(I Love Lucy theme music plays)" "(theme song ending)" "We had a wonderful time." "We had such a grand time." "Good night." "It's so nice to have met you." "What a wonderful evening." "Lucy." "Oh, Lucy, this has been" "Oh, Lucy, this has been a most momentous club meeting, just too, too, really." "(all exclaiming)" "Bye, Lucy." "'EYE-bye." "'BYE-bye." "Bye-bye." "I will let you know all about it, dear..." "Oh, okay, dear." "Bye-bye." "Just as soon as I can." "Yes." "Bye-bye." "(sighs)" "Hi." "Oh, is the club meeting over?" "Yeah." "They just left." "Oh, darn it." "I thought I'd get home on time." "What happened?" "The roof fell in on me." "What do you mean?" "Oh, Ethel, it's just terrible." "The club voted to use the money in the treasury to put on an operetta on the 25th and I'm supposed to be in charge." "So what?" "Well, there isn't enough money in the treasury." "Well, you're the treasurer of the club-- you ought to know." "How much is there?" "The books say $246." "Well?" "Well, about a year and a half ago" "Ricky wanted to go over my household account, and I was ten dollars short." "So?" "Well, I borrowed ten dollars from the club treasury so that my household account would balance." "Well, ten dollars." "My goodness." "Well, you don't understand, Ethel." "That was only the beginning." "From then on, I borrowed from the household account so that the treasury account would balance, and then I borrowed from the treasury so the household account would balance, and on and on and back and forth like a tennis game," "and somewhere along the line, I lost the ball." "What do you mean?" "Now there's no money in either account." "Oh, my goodness, you are in a spot." "What are you going to do?" "Well, I was going to pay back the treasury with my household money, but Ricky doesn't give it to me until the first of the month." "And you need the money on the 25th." "Gee, I'm worried." "You know how fat I look in stripes." "Why don't you ask Ricky to advance you the money?" "Oh, I thought of that." "I don't look good in black and blue either." "You'd better start thinking." "Well, I've got one last desperate idea." "What is it?" "Well, we can save the royalty fee-- that's $100-- if we write the operetta ourselves." " Wait a minute." " And then..." "We could save the royalty fee?" "Who is "we"?" "'We" is Ethel Romberg and Lucy Friml." "That's who "we" is." "Oh, no, you don't." "Just forget all about me." "Oh, all right, I'll just have to get someone else to sing the lead." "The lead?" "Yeah." "That's all right, though." "I can find someone else." "Oh." "The lead, huh?" "Who could possibly do it but you?" "Now the next thing we have to do is get someone to sing the male lead for nothing." "Who?" "Who else but John Charles Ricardo?" "(humming)" "(continues humming tune)" "Hi, Lucy." " Hi." " Sorry I'm late." "That's okay." "I got the story pretty well along." "You want to hear it?" "Sure." "It's called The Pleasant Peasant." "She's really a princess in disguise." "That's my part, huh?" "Oh, well, I kind of wanted to talk to you about that, Ethel." "Now, Lucy, you said nobody could possibly sing the lead but me." "But now look, If Ricky's going to do the male lead it's only logical that I sing the female lead." " Oh..." "Besides, I have a much better part for you." " What?" " Camille." "Camille?" "Yeah, Camille-- the snaggletooth old queen of the gypsies." "Oh, no." "Now, Lucy..." "Now, Ethel, give me one good reason why you should do the female lead instead of me." "You can't carry a tune." "Well!" "If you're going to get petty about it." "All right, we'll audition right now." "I'll go first." "Get over." "(Playing scale)" "(clearing throat)" "♪ Mi." "(Singing scale)" "(singing higher scale)" "(sustaining high note)" "Now you." "(singing off-key:) ♪ Mi. ♪" "(wailing)" "♪ I been working on the railroad ♪" "♪ All the livelong day. ♪" "Where do I go to get my teeth snaggled?" "Good girl." "Now let's hear the story of the operetta." "Well, we open on the outside of the inn, and there's dancing on the green." "And then Squire Quinn-- that's Fred-- comes out of the inn." "His inn is on the River Out." "And then you come on and you sing a song about nobody being in love with you." "Then the queen of the gypsies comes on-- that's me, I guess-- and predicts that you're going to fall in love with a prince and be married, but it will come to a terrible tragedy." "Then Ricky comes in-- he's the prince-- and he takes one look at you and falls madly in love with you." "That'll take a little acting." "Never mind." "Well, anyway, they have the wedding, and then, like the gypsy predicted, tragedy strikes." "On the way to the prince's castle, the band of highwaymen hit the prince on the head, kidnap you and take you to their cave in the forest." "Now, the reason the highwaymen kidnapped the peasant girl is that the wicked witch has turned the leader into a frog." " Huh?" " Yeah." "The leader of the highwaymen is the princess' brother who was separated from her when they were tadpoles." "But she doesn't know this, see." "And that's the end of the first act." " The first act?" " Yeah." "How many scenes are there in that?" "Only 18." "Eighteen?" "!" "That will take a lot of scenery, won't it?" "Now, don't get excited." "I've already rented the scenery and the costumes." "But don't you have to pay for that stuff in advance?" "Sure, I gave them a check on the club treasury." "But there's no money in the club treasury account." "You don't give me credit for anything." "I dated the check the day after the show." "By that time there will be a lot of money in the bank." "Oh, dear." "Want to hear the rest of the story?" "Why not?" "Now, in the meantime, the prince, who thinks he's a peasant but he's really a frog, you know, is working for Squire Quinn at the inn, and the only way..." "(piano playing)" "♪ I am the good Prince Lancelot ♪" "I I love to sing and dance a lot ♪" "♪ I have an eye for a da-da-da... ♪" "None of that "da-da-da" stuff." "Let's hear the words." "They're good words;" "let's hear them." "Good words?" ""Lancelot..."" ""dance a lot."" "Who wrote this operetta anyway?" "Who wrote it?" "Did you ever hear of Victor Herbert?" "Well, sure." "Well, all right then." "Go ahead." "♪ I am the good Prince Lancelot ♪" "♪ I love to sing... ♪" "Say, Lucy, does this costume look right to you?" "Is that what they sent over?" "Well, there's a lot of stuff downstairs, but I can't figure it out." "Oh, I'll just have to go down and check." "I have to do everything around here." "Come on, I'll take care of it." "You two keep on your rehearsing." "Come on now." "Don't stop." "Yes, Mrs. De Mille." "(piano playing)" "Hey, wait a minute." "Wait a minute, Ethel." "I want to talk to you about something." "What?" "Well, look, honey, I, I..." "You know I love Lucy, and she's a wonderful girl and she's got wonderful qualities, but, uh, confidentially... when she sings, she hits a bad note once in a while." "Once in a while?" "Oh, you've noticed." "Oh, you've noticed." "Well, what are we going to do about it?" "You don't have to worry about it." "I've already taken care of it." "I talked to the women, and she isn't going to get a chance to sing by herself." "Every time she opens her mouth, the entire cast will join in." "♪ I am the good Prince Lancelot... ♪" "(audience applauding)" "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome and welcome to the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League production oi The Pleasant Peasant." "I can't come out in front of the curtain because I have my costume on." "Overture, maestro, please." "(piano playing)" "♪ We're the pleasant peasant girls ♪" "♪ Happy pleasant peasant girls ♪" "♪ We're so happy we could fly ♪" "♪ With an H-A-P-P-Y ♪" "♪ We're the pleasant peasant girls ♪" "♪ Happy pleasant peasant girls ♪" "♪ With a happy mom and a happy pappy ♪" "♪ We're so happy that we're almost sappy ♪" "♪ We're the pleasant peasant ♪" "♪ Girls. ♪" "Oh... what do we do today?" "Let's have a picnic down by the River Out." "Oh, that's a lovely idea." "Oh, wonderful." "Look, there is Squire Quinn." "Well, well, good morning, girls." "Good morning." "Good morning, Squire Quinn." "There, there, there." "Well, what a bunch of pleasant peasants you are." "(piano playing)" "♪ I'm the good Squire Quinn ♪" "♪ And I wanna shout ♪" "♪ About my inn on the River Out ♪" "♪ You can easily see the shape Squire Quinn is in ♪" "♪ But wait till you see the shape his inn is in ♪" "♪ The rooms are lovely and full of space ♪" "♪ There's running water in every place ♪" "♪ Yes, and lots of water if you can stay ♪" "♪ Long enough for a rainy day ♪" "♪ Every room has a beautiful view ♪" "J" Of sailing boats on the river blue ♪" "♪ You can watch the boats when the wind blows ♪" "♪ But the squire didn't put in windows ♪" "♪ Lots of ale and stout are on my shelf I" "♪ And I take a drop or two myself ♪" "♪ A drop, he says, the squire's got the gout ♪" "♪ The stout makes him ail ♪" "♪ And the ale makes him stout ♪" "♪ So ends my story, and I think that this'll ♪" "♪ Be a good time to wet my whistle ♪" "♪ That's all there is, and it leaves no doubt ♪" "♪ That the squire's in his inn ♪" "♪ And his inn's on the Out. ♪" "Well, well, good-bye, girls." "I've got to go now and polish off a few tankards." "WOMEN:" "Good-bye!" "Good-bye, girls." "Good-bye!" "Good-bye!" "Look." "Look who's coming yonder." "It's a pleasant peasant girl from the next village." "Come on." "(piano playing)" "♪ I am Lily ♪" "♪ Of the valley ♪" "♪ Of the quiet, peaceful valley over there ♪" "♪ And I'm lonely ♪" "♪ Oh, so lonely ♪" "♪ And nobody in the valley seems to care ♪" "♪ When other girls go walking ♪" "♪ On their arms they have a swell beau ♪" "♪ But whenever I go walking ♪" "♪ On my arm is just my elbow ♪" "♪ And I'm looking ♪" "♪ Always looking ♪" "♪ For my dream man ♪" "♪ And I guess I always will ♪" "♪ I know a girl's supposed to wait ♪" "♪ For a prince to come and get her ♪" "♪ The only prince I ever met ♪" "♪ ls a neighbor's Irish setter ♪" "♪ So, if by any chance ♪" "♪ You see a'" "♪ A prince who has a plan for me ♪" "♪ Tell him not to dilly-dally ♪" "X Not to dilly-dally ♪" "♪ Come back to ♪" "♪ Lily of the valley. ♪" "Well, I guess I'll go back to my own valley." "OLD WOMAN'S VOICE:" "Lily?" "Lily?" "Who's that?" "Lily." "(women screaming)" "Who are you?" "Who am I?" "Come closer and I'll tell you who I am." "(Piano intro)" "(hitting wrong notes:) ♪ Ah ♪" "I Ahh ♪" "(piano hitting right note)" "Oh ♪" "(ALL:) I I am the queen of the gypsies I" "I Gyp, gyp, gyp, gyp, gyp, gypsies I" "♪ I ride along in my gypsy caravan ♪" "♪ It's the finest gypsy band in the land ♪" "♪ There are no kings in the gypsies ♪" "♪ Gyp, gyp, gyp, gyp ♪" "♪ Gyp, gyp, gyp, gypsies I" "♪ You know what they mean when they shake their tambourine ♪" "♪ And I'm their gypsy ♪" "♪ Queen. ♪" "Are you really a gypsy queen, Gypsy Queen?" "Yes, little girl, and I have a prediction for you." "For me?" "Yes, and I will tell it to you in my song." "My song." "Tell me, tell me." "(piano plays intro)" "(hitting wrong note) ♪ Ah ♪" "(piano hitting right note)" "♪ Oh ♪" "♪ I took the... ♪" "ALL:" "♪ Wing of an owl ♪" "♪ And the eye of a yak ♪" "♪ The eye of a yak ♪" "♪ The lost brown tooth of an alley cat ♪" "♪ I put it in my pot ♪" "♪ And what do you think I got?" "♪" "♪ What do you think I got?" "What do you think I got?" "♪" "♪ What do you think I got?" "What do you think I got?" "♪" "All right, all right." "All right." "All right, already" "I think I'll tell my prediction." "Come here, little girl." "Sit down." "Last night, I had a vision." "You did?" "Yes." "About you." "About me?" "Yes." "What was it?" "Well, a handsome prince is coming to ask you to marry him." "But this marriage must never take place because it would be a terrible tragedy and mean unhappiness for everyone." "(trumpets playing "Call To The Post")" "Who's that?" "Your prince is coming." "The prince is coming!" "The prince is coming!" "The prince is coming!" "(playing "Call To The Post")" "His royal highness, the good Prince Lancelot." "WOMEN:" "Whee!" "Hello, girls." "Hello." "Hello, everybody." "Drinks for all." "(piano playing march beat)" "Drink, everyone." "Drink to your health." "Drink." "♪ Oh, we are the troops of the king ♪" "♪ Yes, we are ♪" "♪ And we only think of one thing ♪" "♪ Yes, we do ♪" "I We like to drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink ♪" "♪ Drink, drink, drink, drink, drink ♪" "I We like to drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink ♪" "♪ Drink, drink, drink, drink, drink ♪" "I We like to drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink ♪" "♪ Drink, drink, drink, drink, drink ♪" "I We like to drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink ♪" "♪ Drink, drink, drink, drink, drink. ♪" "All right, everyone." "Ale for the girls." "More ale for the girls." "FRED:" "All right, prince." "More ale for the girls." "RICKY:" "I'm the prince." "Send me the bill." "(Piano intro)" "♪ I am the good Prince Lancelot ♪" "I I love to sing and dance a lot ♪" "♪ I have an eye ♪" "♪ For a pretty face ♪" "♪ I love the girls ♪" "♪ But it's no disgrace ♪" "♪ There was Mercedes ♪" "♪ Rosaline ♪" "♪ Betty, and Sue ♪" "♪ Dorothy, Janice ♪" "♪ And sweet Mary Lou ♪" "♪ Audrey, Bebe ♪" "♪ And Anastelle ♪" "♪ But that's all over with now ♪" "♪ All I want is you ♪" "X Lily ♪" "♪ To you I'll be true ♪" "X Lily ♪" "♪ Come with me a'" "♪ And we'll ride away ♪" "♪ Over the hills ♪" "♪ To my hideaway ♪" "♪ Listen to my plea ♪" "X Lily ♪" "♪ I'm a man that needs ♪" "X Lily ♪" "♪ Please say you will, darling ♪" "♪ Don't say you won't ♪" "♪ Say you'll marry ♪" "♪ Me. ♪" "Lily, will you marry me?" "Oh, yes, yes, Yes. yes, yes." "This marriage must never go on." "It means nothing but tragedy and unhappiness for everyone." "Ah!" "♪ Queen ♪" "♪ I'd like a word with you ♪" "♪ Uh, go away ♪" "♪ This is not your cue. ♪" "♪ I know ♪" "♪ But there's trouble backstage ♪" "♪ What seems to be the trouble?" "♪" "♪ There are some men backstage ♪" "♪ Who are taking away the costumes and the scenery ♪" "♪ Well, I gave them the check ♪" "♪ It bounced ♪" "♪ It bounced... ♪" "♪ It bounced ♪" "♪ It bou-bou-bou-bou ♪" "♪ Bounced ♪" "It came back?" "♪ It was postdated ♪" "♪ I know that ♪" "♪ Well, what do we do?" "♪" "♪ Tell them to wait a minute ♪" "♪ But they won't do it ♪" "♪ Well, take a stab at it ♪" "RICKY:" "Uh, uh, uh... on with the wedding." "Everyone." "LUCY:" "On with the wedding." "(piano playing "The Wedding March")" "On with the wedding." "FRED:" "Do you, Prince Lancelot," "(women shrieking) ...take this maiden, Lily of the valley, to be your lawfully wedded wife, for better or for worse?" "Yes." "Do you, Lily of the valley, take Prince Lancelot to be your..." "Now, look here, you can't do this." "Now, look here." "(women screaming)" "(woman screaming)" "(Lucy moaning)" "FRED:" "Hey, hey." "What's the big idea?" "♪ Oh, I am the queen of the gypsies ♪" "♪ Gyp, gyp, gyp, gyp, gyp, gypsies ♪" "I I am the queen of the gypsies... ♪" "(I Love Lucy theme music plays)" "ANNOUNCER"." "The club president was played by Myra Marsh." "I Love Lucy is a Desilu Production."