"Hello, Maurice." "Come in, Ruth Anne, watch your step, dear." "Take a seat." " Can I offer you some sherry?" " All right." "It's hard to believe it's the first of the month." " How's business?" " Can't complain." " Good." " Thank you." "That patch on your roof, no problem with it, is there?" "No." "Good." "To your health." "I walked past the store the other day I noticed some streaks on the window." "Have Ed run a squeegee over that." "I'll do that." "I got a rebate on that low flush commode, knock off 20 bucks off the rent." "That's alright, the check's already made out." "5,000 dollars?" " I'm exercising my option." "I'm paying off the store." " Where did you get 5,000 dollars?" " I saved it." "5,000 dollars." "Every week for the past ten years I've set aside ten dollars." "Every week for the past ten years?" "Come hell or high water." "The store is mine." "I'm a free woman." " I guess congratulations are in order." " I would think so." "If you'll excuse me, Maurice, I have a business to attend to." "NORTHERN EXPOSURE 4x12 "REVELATIONS" Subtitles subXpacio" "Good morning, this is Bernard Stevens, taking a break from number crunching to sit in for my literal and figurative brother, Chris Stevens." "Chris is taking his vacation this year with an eye toward self discovery." "Instead of the sybaritic surf and sun, he's opted for the Vita Contemplativa, the contemplative life." "Hankering for some hard work and a little quiet prayer, he went south to join the Brothers of Saint Dismas as a guest retreatant." "And in monastic tradition, he has removed himself from the world to discover what Merton calls his inmost secret centre." "I know we're all a little envious." "So, good luck my brother, and God speed." "Hey, man." "Howdy, guys!" " Chris Stevens?" " Yeah." " Welcome, I'm Brother Timothy." " Hi." "You made great time." "I couldn't sleep and I pushed through." "Let me guess, Jesuit?" " No." " Benedictine?" " Paulist?" " Not catholic." "You're not?" "You are a man of the cloth, right?" "Sort of, I saw an ad in "Rolling Stone"." "No mind, anyone seeking spiritual rejuvenation is welcome." "I'll show you to you cell." "Cool." "Here we go." "This is great, it's perfect." "This is your pallet, writing table, wash-basin, your robe." "44 long, right?" " Right." " Can I get a hair shirt?" " We don't wear those anymore." " No hair shirts?" " Mortification has its place." "But you can catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar." " Right." " About your work assignment." "Treat me like everybody else, I mean, long hours, back-breaking labor." "How about the kennels?" "Oh, the kennels." "I don't know," "I got weird karma with dogs." " Karma?" " I tend to kill them, that's all." " Kill them?" " Birds too." "Accidentally." "Well, there is the apiary." "Bees?" "I could get behind that, if you off a few you've got lots left." " Right." " Okay." "They're here." " Patients?" " Pencils." "Marilyn, It's been two weeks, two weeks since a patient has walked through that door." "What's going on?" "I mean, is it something I've done or said?" "Is this like, some kind of boycott?" " Nobody's sick." " Nobody's sick?" "This is peak season for medicine." "Bronchitis, chilblains, pneumonia." "I should be busy here." "I should be overworked and harried." "I've re-alphabetized my files and answered all my correspondence, played innumerable games of solitaire, and you know what?" "I'm going out of my mind." " What?" " You need a haircut." "It was Saint Benedict who wrote the book on monastic virtues." "Obedience, poverty, chastity." "And it was the last item which really gave him some grief." "It seems he couldn't get some home town girl out of his mind, and on one occasion, when the desire was so overwhelming, he eschewed the cold shower." "Instead he took off his clothes and threw himself on a briar patch, rolled around in the thorns until his flesh was rent and bleeding." "That's commitment." " Listen, Chris," " Maurice." " Sorry, I forgot." " Anything I can do for you?" "Chris and I sometimes like to discuss the vagaries of human nature." "Your brother has a eschewed but interesting perspective." " Why don't you give me a shot?" " Okay." "I just came from Ruth Anne's." "I needed a bar of glycerin soap." "I took it to the counter, paid for it, Ruth Anne gave me my change and..." " Yes?" " There was something not right, like walking into a room where someone has rearranged the furniture." " Things weren't the usual way?" " Not since she paid off the store." " Paid off the store?" " I used to own the store." "When she came up here after her husband died she was lost." "She had some experience in retail so I suggested she take over the store to get her life back together." " It's a control thing." " What?" "You were her landlord, all these years you ran the show." "And, so?" "By Ruth-Anne paying off the store, she lopped off the big bamboo." " I beg your pardon?" " She castrated you, she emasculated you." "Look at it this way, Mr. Minnifield, master of the house, lord of the manor, is now reduced to begging at the back door for table scraps." "Now you're just another customer." "You know what gnaws me?" "I can see her, week after week, year after year, stuffing those grimy 10 dollar bills into a mayonnaise jar." "Plotting, scheming, dreaming of the day she'd be rid of me." "It's almost as if all those years she secretly despised me." " You know?" " Yeah." "We're famous throughout the Pacific Northwest for our honey." "Here we are." "Brother James, Brother Chris." "He'll be laboring with you this week." " Hi, James." " Nice to meet you." " You too." " Welcome." "Brother Luke and Brother Matthew." "This is Brother Simon." "Simon, Chris." "Hi, Chris." "Don't worry, Brother Simon has taken a vow of silence." " He doesn't talk?" " No." " Ever?" " Never." " Really?" " He's worked really hard to disassociate himself from the temporal world." "Denying himself speech, the basic form of interaction, he's come a long way." "For all intents and purposes, Brother Simon is dead to the world." "Far out." " Good evening." " Hello." " Maurice, what can I get you?" " I'm not shopping, Ruth-Anne." "I'm here because I'm concerned about you." "Bernard and I were talking about the ramifications of your buy and he agrees it's a terrible mistake." " How so?" " Well the tax code is written to benefit the mortgagor." "Interest payments are deductible." "As much as I hate to carry paper, and since we're such old friends," "I've decided that I'm going to let you refinance it, say, 8.5%, 30 year fixed." "And you can forget the points." "No Savings and Loans'll do that." "Let me get this straight, Maurice." "I should go back in debt to you?" "No need to thank me Ruth-Anne, I'm happy to help." " No." " No?" "Not on your life, Maurice." " Can you get some fresh arugula?" " Yes, ma'am." "Ruth-Anne." "I'm trying to do you a favor." "I don't need your favors." "Don't be stupid, Ruth-Anne, you're throwing your money away." "If you're done, you can go." "If that's how you want to play it," "I'll have to invoke the early payment penalty." " The what?" " It's in the deed of trust." "Article 3, early payment penalty: 350 dollars." "Of all the low-down tricks." " I'd be happy to return your check." " Let me tell you something," "When you put fluorescents, I held my tongue." "When you hung that fish on the wall I held my tongue." "Even when you made me stock 300 copies of "The Right Stuff"." "But I won't do it again." "If the privilege costs 350 dollars, I'm overjoyed to pay it." "You ingrate." "What about that time you had to send Rudy money for that truck?" "Who carried you for three months then?" "And in the hailstorm in 81, who was here at 3:00 nailing plywood over your storefront?" "Thank God I won't have to listen to that damn plywood story again." " The whole deal is off." " Get out, and from now on take your business someplace else." "Fine, I'll never set foot in this quarry again." "Hallelujah, you pompous old goat." "Nice one." " Brother Simon." " James." " What?" " James." "Ah, right." "Fabulous day, huh." "It's amazing how well a person can sleep on the straw pallets." "I was a little itchy at first, but then I slept like a baby." "Is that you?" "It is you, isn't it?" "I don't mean to get in your face, but since I read St. Augustine in the joint" "I've been in this religious thing, and then getting to know a guy who's dead to the world..." "The vow of silence blows me away, talking is what I do, I'm a D.J., but it's deeper than that, it's a craving, a real need." "I'm like a word junkie, you know?" "I never shut up, I talk in my sleep, I talk to myself, for somebody to voluntarily shut off that tap it's like..." "I can't even imagine, like if the rivers suddenly stopped." "No churning, no floating, no white water, just stillness." "I couldn't stand to be locked up like that in my own psyche," "I'd collapse into myself, implode." "Talking to you is incredible, it's like praying." "Is there some signal I can get that I'm getting through to you?" "Some indication, anything." "Maybe I'm getting it and I just don't realize it." "You're not responding in any way." "That sends a message." "Maybe I annoy you, bore you." "Maybe you hate me." "Brother Simon, that would be okay." "If I could know for sure." "Hi, Maurice." "If there's nothing else I can do, I'll clean the aquarium." "Okay, I'll go clean the aquarium." "Ed." "Yeah, Maurice." "Do you remember when you came to work for me?" " Kind of." " You were 16, a foundling, abandoned, alone, you had no direction in the world no place to go." "I opened the door for you and gave you not only gainful employment, but also a moral guidance that you lacked as a child." "I gave you not only a job, Ed, but also a home." "You don't want me to clean the aquarium." "Some time now I've been concerned that your job with that woman was interfering with your duties here." "That woman..." " You mean Ruth-Anne?" " I haven't said anything about it." "I was hoping that you would rectify the situation yourself and honor your primary obligation" "to me." "Your primary obligation to me." "Lots of things need to be done here." "We need to rip out the hedge row, put in some bare-root cherries, nectarines and build a deck off the atrium." " Am I getting through to you?" " Yeah, Maurice." "You don't want me to clean the aquarium and I won't." "Ed," "I need for you to go to work for me full time." "If I work full time for you, I'll have to quit Ruth-Anne's." "If you must give her a notice, do it today." "Hey, Chris." "Over here." "Chris." "It's me, Tim." " Take a load off." " Thanks." "Brother Simon." " James." " Yeah, hi." " Hi." " Is that him?" "Brother Simon is not here." "He eats alone in his cell." "That dead to the world thing..." "I can't get him out of my mind, I think about Brother Simon and silence." "Big, cavernous, thundering silence." " I tried it for a while." " Silence?" "12 years." " You didn't talk for 12 years?" " Not a peep." "It's getting cold." "It's not as tough as it sounds, you take it one day at a time." "This is good." " It's cassoulet." " It's French." " White beans, sausage." " I know, I just thought the food would be simpler, like gruel." "Gruel?" "Part of the denial of the flesh, self-deprivation kind of thing." "Terrible food, lots of fasting." "You got some wild ideas about monastic life." "I don't know about self-deprivation, but we like to eat well." "I'll never forget it." "This time three years ago, I was in the E.R. rotation at Bellevue." "Besides the gunshot wounds and the head traumas, the city was in grip of a major swine flu epidemic." "They were coming in droves." "I worked 72 hours straight, no break." "Finally, I collapsed, they took me to the doctor's lounge." "I slept for an hour, one hour, then I'm back on my feet." "I'm intubating a 65 year old man in respiratory failure." "April 15th." "Sorry?" "The last day to file tax returns." "For a C.P.A. it's the same kind of rush." " Yeah?" " Yeah." "You got a 2-foot stack of 10.40 on your desk and a sea ofW2s." "You're scrambling around for late K1 and those missing cancelled checks." "You got clients on their knees begging for extensions." "And by 21:00 you hit the wall but you can't fold because you got three hours." "Three hours to factor in deductions and adjust gross incomes and to get those returns post-marked." "So you push through." "You get a white shirt from your desk, you take another hit of expresso and you say to yourself, it doesn't get any better than this." "Yeah, totally." "Bernard." "Anything wrong with you?" "Pain, fever, rash, anything at all." " Anything." " Sorry." "Brother Simon." "Brother Simon, please, hold on a sec." "I want to apologize if I said anything wrong at the apiary," "I admire your choice of lifestyle, I respect your privacy very much and don't want to infringe on your path." "I'd like to be friends with you, if it's possible." "Not long heartfelt conversations, it's just on a transcendental level." "There's a lot you and I could share." "Sleep on it, don't make up your mind now." "I'm considering putting in a cosmetic carousel." "I guess." "There's room over there by the fishing tackles." "The paint, this isn't Desert Sage, it's Apache Tan." "Did I tell you to paint it Apache Tan?" "It's always been Apache Tan." "Because he likes Apache Tan." "I hate Apache Tan." "Paint it Desert Sage." "There's something I have to tell you." " There's something I have to tell you." " You go first." "When you came to work for me, you were barely making ends meet and you couldn't even afford film stock for your movies." "I made it possible for you to purchase the things you needed and I also tried to encourage your artistic nature, to inspire you." "Do you know what I mean?" "You want me to quit my other job and come to work with you full time." "Well, yes." "Now that that's taken care of, what did you have to tell me?" "I forget." "Brother Simon." "Brother Simon." "Should I separate the honeycombs or put them in jars?" "I like to put the honeycombs in my mouth and bite down on them." "I feel that big, globby piece of wax, the honey runs down my throat." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "I can't believe I just did that." "I don't know what came over me, that had never happened to me, I swear." "Going through the mail here and as yet no word from friar Chris." "I guess he's been kept too busy with his devotional duties." "And if he's like me in the camp, he's having too much fun with pen and paper." "We got a message from the Cicely Dept. of Health, aka Dr. Fleischman." ""When did you last have a mole check?"" ""Dr. Fleischman invites you to drop by his office anytime Monday to Friday."" ""An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure"." "Someone here?" "What about appointments?" "Any appointments?" "What happened to Dave?" "2:30, we had an appointment." "I ran into him at the Brick." "He promised he would come so I could take a look at his knee." "I don't understand what's going on." "He promised, he promised." "Marilyn," "I am a doctor, I feel like" "I can handle a lot of things." "I can handle medical emergencies, disasters, triage." "But no this" "nothingness, this stillness." "I feel like I'm in a black hole," "I feel useless, I feel like I could faint here." "How do you do that?" "How do you just sit like that?" "You have an uncanny ability to just sit for hours and hours." "Just sit and not do anything." "Do you think?" "I mean," "I know you think, a conscious person can't not think." "What do you think about?" " Things." " Things?" "What kind of things?" "Love and death, family." " Clips" " Clips?" "Paper clips." "All these hours you sit and think about paper clips?" " Not all the time." " What else do you think about?" " Colors." " Really, colors?" " Blue, mostly." " Blue?" "And beige." "Is this conversation as absurd to you as it is to me?" "You started it." "Right." "I need to make a confession." "Chris?" " That you?" " Brother Timothy?" "Yeah, hi." "Hi." "I thought this was anonymous." "I thought I recognized your voice." "What's on your chest?" "Well..." "Please, go ahead, this is what I'm here for." "I've," "I've been having erotic fantasies, about one of the monks here." "Oh, boy." " Oh, boy." " I know, Brother Simon." "I didn't say anything about the dog," "Meister Eckhart, the Rolling Stones degree, but this is a monastery, not a British boarding school." "No, no, hold on." "You don't understand." "I'm freaking out about this, I love women." "Ever since I can remember, I've been totally aroused by women." "The small of the back, the curve of the neck, the subtle lift of a breast, that sweet softness that makes you want to bury yourself in it." "I've always been sexually secure, more than that, committed." "Has it been a lie?" "Is this my true self?" "The self I came here to discover, physically and emotionally consumed by Brother Simon?" " Well..." " Don't answer that, just tell me what I should do with these impure thoughts." " Hail, Mary and Our Father, what?" " You're not catholic." "Yeah, right." "I think you should confess." " That's what I'm doing." " Not to me." "Brother Simon." " More pretzels?" " Thanks, Shelley." "Can I have one more milk, please?" "You're hitting the bovine juice hard." "It's helping me think." " Something got you snagged?" " Ruth-Anne and Maurice." "Oh, yeah." "He was here this morning scarfing down that high-fiber stuff." "Ruth-Anne came in, he pushed the bowl aside and left." "Yeah, they want me to take sides, but I just can't." "Yeah." "I don't know what to do, I've been through all my tapes, searching for an answer in films that explore interpersonal conflicts." ""Lion in Winter", "Who's afraid of Virginia Wolf", I even watched "Interiors"." "No help." " Check out "The Parent Trap"." " Parent Trap?" "I caught it on cable." "Haley Mills and Haley Mills." "They play two twin chicks whose parents are divorced, but deep down they really got the hots for each other." "Isn't that with Brian Keith and Maureen O'Hara?" "The twins meet at summer camp and they pull a switch." "Haley Mills goes home with Mum but Haley Mills goes home with Dad." "Right, and the whole idea was to get the parents to meet, because once they meet again, you know." "It's very Disneyesque, but it might just work." "Hey, Joel." "Bernard," "I've been looking all over for you." "What do you say you and I bop over to the gym and play one on one?" " Now?" " Yeah, right now." "I'll drive." "I promised Maurice I would do an afternoon commuter show." " What time do you start?" " In about an hour." "Plenty of time, we'll play to 20, First one to win by two." " Sorry, I got to shower and set up." " Alright, then." "Can I come over and give you a hand?" "I can organize the tapes, I'll dust the records, anything." "When was the last time that Chris cleaned the heads?" " Mind if I share an observation?" " Not at all, I'd be delighted." "You're in the throes of existential angst." "Come again?" "This desperate need for company for something to fill your time." "You're staring into your own grave." " I am?" " Take a look at your reflection." "Take a look." "What do you see?" "A stranger?" "Why?" "Because there's nothing there." "You're a tree without a shadow, an empty well, a silent scream." "Most of the time you can deny it but not when you're alone." "Then you're forced to confront it." " It's shoved in your face." " What question?" " The only question." " Which is?" "What is the meaning of my existence." "Quit running, the answer is inescapable." " It is?" " Your existence has no meaning." "None at all." "If you don't accept that, you'll lead an incomplete, unfulfilled, neurotic life." "I'm loathe to give advice, but I'd learn how to sit still to face the abyss, to embrace it," "to do nothing." "Hi." "I was washing the floor and my face happened to be down there..." "That's a lie." "I was peeking under your door." "I have something to tell you." "I had this dream, this incredibly sensual, erotic dream about you." "I grabbed you and kissed you." "It was so real" "I could almost taste the steel mesh of your mask and you hands, they were they were covered in honey." "The bees all swarmed, they stung me and I liked it." "I pulled you to the ground and..." "Oh, God." "Oh, God." "Brother Simon, I know what you're thinking." "It's worse for me, I never thought that I could feel this way about a man, I love women and" "I didn't come here to burn you with this." "If you could find it in your heart to forgive me, Brother Simon." "I want to see you without clothes on, see your legs, are they strong?" "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "I don't believe I said that." "Brother Simon, you can go back to your prayers and I'll clean the floor..." "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." "Ed?" "You?" " What are you doing here?" " I might ask you the same thing." "Ed sent me a note." "Said to meet him here." "He had something urgent to discuss." " Me too, where is he?" " Beats me." "I won't wait around here with you, tell him to come to the store." " He left a video tape." " What?" "I think he wants us to watch it." "You suit yourself." "Hello, Maurice, Ruth-Anne." "You're both wondering why you're here." "Ever since you had your big fight, I haven't been able to get any sleep or concentrate and I haven't been hungry either." "I wondered if you would consider making up and being friends again." "It shouldn't be very hard, since you've known each other for a long time." "The important thing here is to look beyond the anger and really try to hear what the other person is saying." "I think it was Judd Hirsh in "Ordinary People " that said the most important thing in a healthy relationship is good listening." "I'll leave you two to it and make yourselves comfortable." "There's potato chips and fruit punch in the fridge." "I think that's it." "Good bye." "Don't forget to rewind the tape." "Well, the boy seemed distressed." "You know, it's possible that you weren't the worse landlord that ever lived." "But you were a landlord and I never liked landlords." "Maybe I went a bit too far with that pre-payment penalty." "Whenever I get my hands around a man's throat, or even a woman's," "I find it difficult to let go." " You want some fruit punch?" " Alright." " Hello, Marilyn." " Maggie called." "Did she book an exam?" "You're late with the rent." "No appointments, then?" "Good, okay." "That's fine." "See, I don't really mind." "You know what I think I'll do?" "I'll go into my consultation room and I'll just sit." "Yeah, that's what I'll do." "Sit?" "Like you do, just sit." " What?" " You can't." "I can't what?" "I can't sit?" "Is that what you're saying?" "You don't think I can go in there and just sit." "That is ridiculous." "I am capable of quiet, Marilyn, I am capable of solitary reflection." " Want to bet?" " A bet?" "Like a wager?" " Five dollars." " How long?" "Five minutes." "You don't think I can go in there and sit for five minutes?" "I'll give you six, let's go." "You want to see a guy sit, I'll show you a guy sitting." "Easiest money I ever made." "Alright, start the clock." "Begin." "I can't take this." "Nobody could sit with you staring." "It's creepy, it's horrible." "Nobody could just sit there with you psyching them out." "Nobody." "My money." "Who's there?" " Brother Simon." " Brother Simon." "You spoke, am I dreaming again?" "No." "Wait a second." "You're a she, you're a woman." "Oh, man." "Oh, man." "I don't get it." "What are you doing here?" "I always wanted a life of monasticism, but I couldn't see living life without the presence of men." "What about your vow of silence?" "It would be a greater sin not to have you know the truth." "Now you know." "Brother Simon?" " What is your given name?" " Chris." "Hey, Joel." "Bernard, please, no more existential angst, I give up." " Really?" " My personality is shattered." "My identity is dissolved, I'm lost in my own skin." "I wanted to discuss something medical." "Did you say medical?" "I have a pain." " Where?" " In my chest, left side." " Left side?" " Yeah." " Is it sharp, dull or piercing?" " Sharp." " But sometimes it's..." " What?" " More of an ache." " An ache?" "Bernard." "What are we doing standing here?" "You need a complete medical work-up." " You think so?" " Absolutely." "Are you kidding me?" "This could be a whole host of things, pericarditis, esophageal diverticulum, pleurisy..." "Pulmonary alone I'll bet I can think of then things." "Really?" "We'll start with a series of x-rays." "We'll do an electrocardiogram, we'll do blood work, urinalysis." "I can't do a C.T. scan, but I can do a barium swallow." " Okay." " C.T. scan?" "And to rule out heart disease, I'll do a volume stress test." " Is that expensive?" " Don't worry," " I'll take good care of you." " I want to make sure my insurance..." " Afternoon, Ed." " Hello, Maurice." " Ruth-Anne." " Maurice." "I'd like a box of 12 gauge shotgun shells, please..." " ...and a couple of emery boards." " Okay." "There you are." " I can see you've painted." " That's right." "Desert Sage." "It looks fine." " Thank you." " You're welcome." " What are you smiling at?" " Nothing." "Well folks, I came back from my spiritual renewal." "You might wonder were my goals met, did I have that transcendent moment:" "the epiphany." "You bet I did." "Us men join armies, frat houses, baseball teams, in my case, a monastery." "All to the exclusion of our sisters." "I'll tell you something, in that segregated, celibate world of men, a divine hand reached down grabbed me by the belt strap and gave me a hard yank." "And to whom did this awesome hand belong?" "Woman." "Cicely, my metaphysical moment, my revelation was this:" "for me there can be no spirituality, no sanctity, no truth without the female sex." ""Oh, woman, lovely woman," "Nature made thee to temper man, we have been brutes without you, angels are painted fair to look like you." "There's in you all that we believe of heaven, amazing brightness, purity and truth." "Eternal joy and everlasting love." "Ripped by subXpacio and TusSeries"