" I'm goin' down to South Park" "Gonna have myself a time" " Friendly faces everywhere" "Humble folks without temptation" " I'm goin' down to South Park" "Gonna leave my woes behind" " Ample parking day or night" "People spouting howdy neighbor" " Headin' on up to South Park" "Gonna see if I can't unwind" " [muffled]" " Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine" " No, no, no, I'm telling you guys, music videos have devolved to nothing but pretty girls wearing skintight clothes and singing songs about their va-jay-jays." "It used to be chicks sung about relationships." "Now it's all, "My va-jay-jay this, my va-jay-jay that. "" "But clearly, that's what sells." "Think about it." "When was the last time you turned on a music video and didn't see some chick strumming a guitar, singing about her va-jay-jay?" "See?" "You can't remember." " He-hey, fellas." " Where's your lunch, Butters?" " Oh, it's okay." "I'm not hungry anyways." " Dude, did a bully take your lunch money again?" " Yeah." " That's the third day in a row." "You gotta tell a teacher." " Nah, I'm not a tattletale." " Well, then, write the principal an anonymous letter." " No, I'm not no Anonymous Andy." " So then just get a bigger bully to beat the bully up." " Nah, I don't want kids calling me a cliche conflict resolution Kevin." " He has a point." " Well, then you gotta ride it out, Butters." " Yeah, life sucks sometimes, but it'll pass." " I can't believe what I'm hearing." "This is why bullying is getting worse and worse at our schools." "We can't all sit by and let it happen anymore." " Good for you, Stan." "Nice somebody in this school has some balls." " I have balls." " Yeah, little squishy boba tea balls." " Still balls." " Look, Butters, why don't you just talk to your family about it?" "You said your grandma's visiting this week." "Why don't you try talking to her?" " My grandma?" " Well, so then your cousin Elbert, Linda, actually has two girls now!" "One is three and the other is about little Butters' age, I think." " Well, speak of the devil!" " Butters, what happened to your eye?" " Gramma, could I talk to you for a second?" " Well, sure, you come and sit right here next to Grammie." " Could I maybe talk to Grammie alone?" " Well, sure, I guess." "We'll go make some tea." " Oh, some tea would be lovely." "What's up?" "Huh?" "You think you're tough, huh?" " I just don't want you to pick on me no more, Gramma." " Think you're fuckin' tough, huh?" "You don't look fuckin' tough." " I-I don't think I'm tough, Gramma." " No, you're a little faggot." "You got any more money?" "Huh?" " No, you took it all!" " Why don't you do something about it?" "Do somethin', ya little bitch." "You're Grandma's bitch." " Here we go." " Oh, there's the tea." "Tea for me." "How lucky!" " And your favorite lemon bars." " Goodness, what a treat this is." " Mr. Mackey, what is happening here at your school is no different from what is happening all over the country." "Bullying has become an epidemic, I'm afraid, and we at Bully Buckers- trademark- are trying to stamp it out." "What is your school's policy on bullying?" " Oh, well, we think that bullying' is-it's bad, mkay, and, uh, when we see bullying in the school, we tell the students, you know... that... that's bad... mkay." " Uh-huh." "Well, one of your students told us he thinks bullying at your school is getting worse." " Who said?" " He didn't want that disclosed." " Oh, he's a little Anonymous Andy?" " We would like to have an anti-bullying assembly with your students this afternoon." " Mkay, but, uh, today's actually bad." "Uh, I already have an assembly today on positive thinking." " You believe positive thinking is really what's critical in schools right now?" "What's wrong with you?" " Well, I mean, they kind of work toge" " No, shut up!" "What kind of counselor says no to an anti-bullying campaign?" "Bullying needs to be stopped." "Now." "This afternoon." " Well, uh, just- we nee" " Wuh-u-huh!" "You may only have an Internet degree, but why don't you start acting like you're a school counselor and not an uninformed, backwards little dork," ""mkay"?" " [sniffles]" "Attention, students... [sniffles] today, we will have an... assembly... on the subject of bullying." "[sniffles] Mkay?" "The assembly is mandatory, mkay?" "So you better show up." "Mkay?" "[school bell rings]" " Butters, your gramma is looking for you." " My gramma?" " She said to meet her outside behind the school." " Oh, hamburgers!" "[dramatic music]" " Hey, twerp." "You went and narced on me." " Agh!" "Oh, h-hi, Gramma." " I heard somebody brought in an anti-bully counselor." "[lock clicks]" "Thought I wouldn't find out, you little narc?" " I didn't narc, Gramma!" "It wasn't me!" " Oh, look." "what's this over here?" "Oh, it's a narc puck." "This is what narcs have to put in their mouths." "Aw, it's got piss all over it." " No, Gramma, knock it off!" "No, stop it!" " put it in your mouth!" "Put it in your fuckin' mouth." "[knock on door] [knob rattles]" "Oh, hello!" " Oh, sorry." "This door isn't supposed to be locked." " I'm sorry." "I needed the restroom, and my grandson brought me to this one." "Isn't that right, Butters?" " Yes." " Butters, you goofball." "I'll show you to the girls' room, ma'am." " Oh, thank you so much." "You narc again and you're fuckin' dead!" "Fuckin' dead, you got it?" " This way." " Oop." "Coming!" " What makes a bully?" "The truth is, there are more bullies at your school than you even think." "And the student who lets bullying happen is just as bad as the bully himself." "Come on out, Lorraine." "I asked your schoolmate Lorraine here to help me out." "Are you bullied in the school, Lorraine?" " Yes." " Kids pick on you?" "Call you names?" " Sometimes." " What kinds of things do they say to you?" " Ugly." "N- nerd." " Do they say, "Nice pants, why do you wear them up to your tits?"" " No." " Bullying affects everyone." "And only if the entire school is united against it can bullying ever be stopped." "Go, go." "Get outta here." "Now, what we at Bucky Bailey's Bully Buckers-trademark- like to do is get the schools to make an anti-bullying video." "So who would like to be the young student director in charge of our video?" "We just need one student to be the leader of our anti-bullying campaign." "What, are you all chicken?" "[mimics chicken clucking]" "Nobody wants to be in charge of the anti-bullying video?" "[mimics chicken clucking]" "Wahhh!" "Wahhh!" "[mimics chicken clucking]" " I'll do it." "I'll be in charge." " Ooh!" "You're a big man?" "You wanna show what a big man you are?" " No, I just-I think bullying has gotten out of hand, and it needs to be stopped." " Good for you, Stan." " He's cool." "[applause] [dramatic music]" " You wanna know who I hate?" "I hate that kid Butters." "He's a dork." " Yeah, let's go p-p-pick on him." "Yeah!" " Hey, guys!" "Guys!" "Don't pick on Butters." "That's not cool." "You can't do that." "Bullying?" "Did you know that in America..." "[laughs] over 200,000 students every day are afraid to come to school because of bullying?" "At South Park elementary, we're better than that." "Come on, let's all put an end to bullying." "Right now!" "Five, six, seven, eight!" "Bullying isn't cool" "Bullying is lame" "Bullying is ugly" "And has a stupid name" "For a healthy world" "Bullying's unfit" "And I think I know what we should do to it" "Do do do do do to it" "Let's all get together" "And make bullying kill itself" "Bullying's an ugly thing" "Let's shove its face in the dirt" "And make bullying kill itself" "Whoa, whoa, whoa" " Boy, you like my body" "Set the mood, let's play" "You can touch me anywhere" "Except for my va-jay-jay" " We can make it stop" "We can stomp it out" "We can beat its ass" "Until it starts to cry" "Let's gang up on it" "And tell it it smells" "And beat its ass worse if it ever tells" "If if if it ever tells" "Let's all join together" "To try and make bullying kill itself" "It'll be fun to see just how bad" "We can make it feel" "Make bullying kill itself" "Whoa, whoa, whoa" " My heart says yes" "But my va-jay-jay says no" " Trapped inside the darkness of my mind" "I try to break free but words are so unkind" " Stupid!" " Ugly!" " Pansy." " Dork!" " Can I-Can I not do this please?" "[music stops] I don't wanna do this." " Aw, Butters, you ruined it." "This is all one big long shot, and you ruined it!" " But this is just gonna make things worse for me." " Butters, you're the star of the video." " He doesn't want to do it, dude." " Well, come on, you just wanna be bullied your whole life, Butters?" " Pshh!" " Kyle?" "Kyle." "Dude!" "Where are you going?" " Why are you doing this, Stan?" " To stop bullying!" " You're gonna stop bullying?" " Yes!" " With Cartman singing about his vagina?" " It's about awareness, dude." "Don't you understand how important this is?" "Bullying?" "Do you realize that in America, uh, over 200,000 students are afraid to come to school every day because they" " Don't-don't act for me, Stan." "Really." "Because every minute, I'm watching this video become less about awareness and more about you." " Kyle, I'm trying to make a difference." " Okay, just be careful you don't end up naked and jacking it in San Diego." " What the hell does that mean?" " Oh, heavens to Betsy, Linda!" "This is such a yummy, yummy ham." "I just love your cooking." " Ehhhhh!" " Our Linda certainly does know her way around a pork." " [disgusted grunt]" " What's the matter, Butters?" " Nothin', dad." "Just a little gassy." "[groans]" " Oh, well, don't fart on Gramma." "She's trying to enjoy her ham." " Okay, dad, I wo-aah!" "[grunts] [doorbell rings]" " I'll get it." " Linda, is that a new clock on the wall?" " Oh, yes." "Stephen and I got that last month." "It's from Germany, I believe." "I just love the cute little canary on the dial." "And every hour, it chimes." " Your friends wanted to see you, Butters." " Dude, Butters!" "We have awesome news!" "A Hollywood movie company is gonna buy our bullying video!" " Oh, an anti-bullying video?" "How adorable." " [pained groan]" " Yeah, and Butters is the star!" "The movie company wants to do a photo shoot with him so we can make movie posters." " [pained groan]" " I know, right?" "[boys cheer] [cheers and applause]" " Wassup?" " Oh, hey." "[lock clicks]" " You went and made a video and sold it without lettin' me know." " Huh?" " Doing a video was my idea." "It's the property of Bucky Bailey's Bully Buckers- trademark." "You got that?" " But I worked hard on that." "It's been really stressful and I" " Oh, it's been stwessful?" "What's wrong with you?" "Kids are getting bullied at school, and with this money," "Bucky Bailey's Bully Buckers- trademark- can finally become the legit organization it deserves to be!" "You greedy, selfish little prick!" "Oh, what, you gonna cwy?" " No." " No, go ahead, cwy." "Let me see you." "Let me see you cwy." " [crying]" " You don't have a choice, Butters." "You have to defend yourself." "Oh, but violence is never the answer." "But she's gonna kill you, Butters, you know she is." "You're right, Butters!" "I don't have a choice!" "Sorry, Gramma, but you brought this on yourself." "It's time you met Chaos." "I've been pushed around for the last time!" "Now I'm comin', and heck's comin' with me!" " Oh, look, it's Captain Pussy." "You can't stop me, Captain Pussy." "Don't even try." " Gramma." "But how d" " I got inspired when I came across your gay little costume in your closet." "Now, come on, Captain Pussy!" "Time for you to get your gummy bears!" " No." "Gramma, please." "N- not gummy bears." " Come here!" " Aah!" "Gramma!" " Stand up for yourself!" "Fight back!" "Be a fucking man!" " I can't!" " Then it looks like you get gummy bears!" "[garbled] Gummy bears!" " Aah!" "Eww!" " Wassup?" "I'm Mick Jabs, president of the movie company that bought the bully video." "[lock clicks]" " Oh, what, Stan Marsh got you to come talk to me?" "That little cliche conflict resolution Kevin!" " The video was conceived, written, and directed by the South Park student body, you got that?" " It was my idea!" "I told the students to make the video, and I produced the entire thing!" "I deserve to have my name on it!" " Yeah, only problem is, America doesn't give a shit about an old fart with a Captain Kangaroo haircut." "They want to believe kids did something on their own." "Here's a cease and desist letter from our lawyers." "If you ever claim any authorship of the video again, we will sue you for everything you have." " But this was gonna be the thing that finally made Bully Buckers-trademark- a national organization." " Oh, you gonna cwy?" "Oh, don't cwy." "It'll wook bad wifyour wittle Captain Kangawoo haircut." " [crying]" " 'Kay, cool." "Hold it right there." "Cool." " Excuse me, what are you doing to my locker?" " We're putting up movie posters, Kyle." "The premiere is tomorrow," "But since you walked out on the video, you don't get to come." "Pbbbt!" " I don't wanna go to your stupid movie premiere!" "And don't tape that to my locker!" "Oh, God." "[lock clicks]" " What's up, Kyle?" "Why are you trying to trash talk our theatrical release?" " Do you really think that this is good for Butters?" "To have his face put all over signs as the poster child for bullying?" " Butters is totally fine with it, dude!" " Yeah, well, Butters is ten." "He doesn't exactly know what's best for him, and neither do you." " All right, Kyle, that's enough." "I'm not gonna be bullied by you, okay?" " What?" "You were waiting for me in the bathroom!" " Oh, yeah." " Look, this is all getting way too big." "Tell the movie studio you aren't selling the video to them." " This video can change how people think about bullying!" "It needs to be seen by everybody, Kyle!" " If it needs to be seen by everybody, then why don't you put it out on the internet for free?" "Well?" " Wh-what was the question again?" " If you really think every kid in America should see your anti-bullying movie, then why don't you put it on the internet for free?" " Get outta here, Kyle." "I'm trying to go to the bathroom." " Fine!" "But when you're naked and jackin' it in San Diego, don't ask me for help!" " Why does he keep saying that?" "[upbeat music]" " We all know that bullying has become an epidemic." "Like AIDS, bullying is escalating, and is spread mostly by penises." "But now, a few school kids are trying to make a difference with a video to "make bullying kill itself. "" "I'm joined by the film's director as well as the weak little boy who's the main subject of the film." "Stan, congratulations on all your success." " Well, I just got tired of seeing people like Butters getting pushed around, and I knew" "I had to do something about it." "[applause]" " And how about you?" "What would you like to say to your bully out there?" " Oh, uh, nothing." " Come on, this is for everyone who's been a victim." "What do you want to say to bullies all across America?" "Go ahead." "Right now." "Say it." " Uh, stop" "Stop trying to make me say things" "I don't want to on your TV show." " Do you hear that, bullies?" "Stop making kids say things on your TV shows." "[applause]" " What else do you want to say, Butters?" " Please, leave me alone!" " Leave him alone!" "But that doesn't work, does it, Butters?" " No, it doesn't!" " Tell us in graphic detail what the bully does to you." " Stop it!" " Come on, this is for America!" "Do you realize that in America... [laughs] over 200,000 students are afraid to go to school because of bullying?" "Don't you care?" "You better care!" " [screams]" " [screams, grunts] [both screaming and grunting]" " What the hell were you thinking?" "Everyone just saw that the bully victim in your movie is actually a violent psychopath!" " I didn't know!" " This could kill our box office." "People are gonna come after us now, saying we didn't check our facts." " I didn't beat up Dr. Oz." "Don't be mad at me!" " It's your fuckin' movie!" "Now I'm gonna have to work overtime with marketing to make sure people still sympathize with our victim." "Jesus, just get the fuck outta here." "I gotta go to the bathroom." "Uh-oh." " My child, have you ever heard of a place called Hell?" "[lock clicks] It's eternal fire, and it's gonna hurt real bad." " Uh..." " Oh, what are you gonna do, cwy now?" " Gramma?" "I did it, Gramma." "I finally stood up for myself." "I got real mean and I beat the snot outta Dr. Oz." "I can't lie." "It felt kinda good... at first." "But since then, all I have is this kind of dark empty feeling." "And then I realized, that's how you must feel all the time." "Poor ol' Gramma." "You know, I been gettin' lots of advice how to deal with you" "Stand up to you, tell on you." "But I kinda realized there's just people like you out there." "All over the place." "When you're a kid, things seem like they're gonna last forever." "But they're not." "Life changes." "You won't always be around." "Someday you're gonna die." "Someday pretty soon." "And when you're layin' in that hospital bed, with tubes up your nose and that little pan under your butt to pee in," "I'll come visit ya." "I'll come just to show you that-that I'm still alive and I'm still happy." "And you'll die, bein' nothing but you." "Night, Gramma." "[all booing]" " Huh?" "Aw, come on!" "Dude, what's going on?" " You didn't hear?" "Now that America knows" "Butters was actually a violent psychopath, they're saying you made a bullcrap bullying video." " What?" "What's the movie studio saying about it?" " The studio backed out." "The producer had a change of heart." "Boo!" " You made us look like uncaring idiots." " Yeah!" "Boo!" " How was I supposed to know" "Butters was actually a violent psychopath?" " Boo!" " Everyone loved me 16 hours ago." " Stan?" "Stan, mkay, ABC called, and Dr. Oz is suing you and our entire school." "What are you gonna do?" " I guess there's only one thing left for me to do." "[upbeat music]" " Bah ba dah ba nah nah" "Bah ba dah bah" "Bah ba dah ba nah nah" "Bah ba dum bum" " I'm gonna jack it where the sun always shines" " He's gonna jack it" " Been spreadin' the word" "And now I need to ease my mind" " Jackin' it ho" " Been planting' them apple seeds" "And while the apples grow" "I'm gonna go out jacking' it in" "San Diego" " Jackin' it, jacking' it, jackity jack" "Spankin' it, jacking' it" "Spankity smack" " I don't need no shirt" "No, gonna take dem pants right off" " He's about to jack it" " On such a bright day" "Who needs underwear or socks?" " Jackin' it ho" " Been around God's country" "And there's one thing I know" "There's no better place for jacking' it than" "San Diego" " Jack it, jack it, jackity jack" "Spankin' it, spanking' it, smackity smack" "Jackin' it, jacking' it, jackity jack" " Jackin' for the Lord!" "[whistling song's melody]" " Come to San Diego." "There's so much to see." "From the sparkling waters of Mission Bay to the warm tortillas of Old town." "And after a day of sightseeing, why not try spanking' it on one of our charming city streets?" "San Diego." "Come." "Take a load off." " Jackin' it, jacking' it, jackity jack" "Spankin' it, spanking' it, smackity smack" "Whackin' it, whacking' it, whackity whack" "Spankin' it, jerking' it, smackity smack" " The cars are passin' me by" "They honk and say hello" " Hey, that guy's jackin' it!" " From his window, there's a guy shooting' video" " Video of him jacking' it" " And if the good Lord Jesus" "Comes knockin' on my door" "Just tell him that I'm jackin' it in" "San Diego" " Jackin' it, jacking' it, jackity jack" "Spankin' it, spanking' it, Smackity smack" " He's about to jack it" " Whack jack whack jack..."