"two... (man 1) Go-go juice." " (Kurt) Hi." " (man 1) Or motion lotion." "Beaver." "Female." "(man 2) Welcome to manned space exploration." "(man 3) The Mercury spacecraft is six feet in diameter and nine feet tall." "(high-pitched voice) Cos I don't like your face." "(Kurt) Hey." "come 'ere." "I want..." "I want you to see something." "(Kim) Kurt's brain was just constantly going." "He was always thinking about something." "there was always something going on." "You could just see it." "Wayne." "I guess I'm not..." You know?" "I guess I'm not all that special." "I'm so glad I don't..." "I never got that genius brain." "(crowd chants) and he didn't know how to handle that." "So he would downplay it all the time." "was to get to as perfect as he could." "As good as he could get. play as well as he could." "And then when it all came together... (crowd cheers)" "(Krist) It's so..." "I can't sit..." "It's too painful." "This is too painful." "man." "he's gonna make it. a lot of his messages are as plain as day." "but you can see it." "I should've said something." "it's like... (crowd cheers)" "# Some say love" "# It is a river" "(distorted guitar feedback)" "(sudden silence)" "(Kurt) # When I was an alien" "# Cultures weren't opinions a better way" "# When I'm there a better way" "# A better way" "# Never met a wise man it's a woman a better way" "# When I'm there a better way" "# A better way a better way" "# When I'm there a better way" "# A better way a better way" "# When I'm there a better way" "(yells and howls)" "America was booming after the war and everybody had everything." "you still had enough." "Aberdeen was a logging town and a mill town." "And it was booming." "little Susie" "(Wendy) You saw everybody downtown paying their bills or shopping." "awesome place to raise children." "My kids loved that town." "and weep it's four o'clock and we're in trouble deep little Susie little Susie" "Don was working at a gas station over in Hoquiam." "he had the black horn-rimmed glasses and his ears kind of stuck out a little and that's not good on anybody." "I kind of helped him with everything." "He didn't really know what he was doing with style." "we were more friends." "so I had never experienced it." "I loved him." "And so he got me an engagement ring and we got engaged." "it was fun!" "all those problems are behind me." "Now I'm gonna have babies!" "And I just couldn't wait to get pregnant." "that was the goal." "You're so young." "You just need to get... get on your feet with being a housewife." "I just didn't listen to anybody." ""Why did I marry Don Cobain?" "everything really did happen for a reason." "Kurt had to be born." "It was... it was a must." "He was the first grandchild on both sides." "Everybody was coming over constantly." "I can't even describe what a magnet he was." "People just came to him." "I was head over heels in love with that child." "He was so kind and so worried about people." "or if somebody got hurt. he started singing and playing guitar." "he drew all the time." "Mom." " (Wendy) OK." "Say who you are." "(young Kurt) Who are you?" "Kurt?" "(young Kurt) Who are you?" "Who are you?" "Goodbye!" "I'm Kurt Cobain." "' (Wendy) Yay!" " (young Kurt) Yay!" "Go!" "Go!" "he was full of energy." "Always busy." "And I had this old rocking chair in the corner of the front room." "He'd be upside down with his head hanging off where your legs would be and his feet up on the back of the rocking chair going 90 miles an hour in it. and he'd be repeating everything verbatim off Sesame Street." "(Kurt) # Would you like to hear my voice" "# Sprinkled with emotion we've gotta try to get this one to calm down." "Dr Fulton. we got trouble here." "I'm gonna give you this tablet." "And I believe it was something like Ritalin." "my God!" "He just went off the rails." "(Kurt) # If I had to lose a mile" "# If I had to touch feelings" "# I would lose my soul" "# The way I do" "# I don't have to think" "# I only have to do it" "# The results are always perfect" "# And that's old news" "# Would you like to hear my voice" "# Sprinkled with emotion he was hyper." "Full of energy." "Always busy." "knocking things over." "Anything that had to do with being a normal child." "he didn't know how to handle that." "He was one of those kind of people that just thought that children should be seen and not heard and shouldn't cause any trouble." "he belittled and ridiculed Kurt." "And Kurt would be ashamed." "it really hurt him to be embarrassed." "(song finishes)" "(applause)" "I don't know." "I just..." "I started to mature." "and kind of looking back at... Is That All There Is?" "is this my life?" "I haven't done anything with my life." "people didn't get divorced." "I didn't know anybody that was divorced." "You just... you were in the soup." "You didn't think about divorce." "Kurt was nine at the time." "And everybody was talking about it." "It just embarrassed him to death that we had gotten divorced." "He took light bulbs out of all the lights and locked the baby-sitter and Kim outside and just became really unruly." "This is not going to happen any more." "And so I took him over to his dad's house." "She couldn't handle him." "I took him. him and I together like that." "And I think there's one thing that I said at one time that I was never gonna get married again." "And I think he took that for a word." "Then I met Jennifer and we got married" "Chad." "period." "And I felt that just from the beginning." "that was really important to him. "Nope!" "We have to." "That's what we... but he always wanted to win." "he was mad." "He wanted to be the most loved and it just wasn't the ideal world that he thought a family should be." "he just decided he wasn't gonna do anything anybody said." "He'd just lay on the couch and watch TV." "Go down in his room and play the guitar." "And then he started just doing really mean things to the kids." "it just got so..." "I think it was kind of my fault in a way because I couldn't deal with it any more." "And I told Don he was gonna have to get out of the house." "(Don) He went to Wendy's brother's for a while. then he'd come back to us and still have problems." "It was like nobody... they wanted him out." "I think the sad part of the whole thing is that Kurt just really wanted to be with his mom." "(Kurt) # Underneath the bridge" "# The tarp has sprung a leak" "# And the animals I've trapped" "# Have all become my pets" "# And I'm living off of grass" "# And the drippings from the ceiling" "# It's OK to eat fish" "# Cos they don't have any feelings" "# Something in the way" "yeah" "# Something in the way" "yeah" "(Jenny) He just was in so much pain took it out on his mom and took it out on his dad and took it out on his siblings." "But it's almost like he didn't... basically." "And I don't know how anybody deals with having your whole family reject you." "(drum intro)" "# Like most babies smell like butter" "# His smell smelled like no other" "# He was born scentless and senseless" "# He was born a scentless apprentice" "(yells)" "# Go away" "# Get away" "# Get away" "# Go away" "(Kurt) In a community that stresses macho male sexual stories immature little dude that never got laid and was constantly razzed." "poor little kid." "probably more so because I was horny I met this chick etcetera." "This typical pubescent problem was an effector in the height of my problems with my father and stepmom." "the typical wicked-stepmom story." "I moved to both grandparents' and four sets of aunts' and uncles' and so forth and so on within the year." "my mom had no choice to take me in because my dad packed my stuff and drove me to her house in the morning and left me there." "She was pissed." "not to mention a complexion." "I discovered the most ultimate forth of expression ever:" "boy!" "Pot." "I could escape all day long and not have routine nervous breakdowns." "Trevor was a guy I hated but resorted to becoming friends with because he was the only person I could get pot from." "He was the kingpin. and they invited me." "We got to the door and a very fat girl let us in." "It wasn't obvious to me for over an hour that this girl seemed kind of quiet until one of the guys pointed out that she was in a special ed class." "I would call her quiet and illiterate but not retarded." "The object of the guys who had been going there for the past month was to steal booze from the downstairs basement den of her house. one would go down and take a fifth and then exit out the downstairs." "So we'd do this routine every other day about a month." "And during that month happened to be the epitome of my mental abuse from my mother. and I was actually enjoying doing rebellious things and nothing ever mattered. but I'll actually kill myself." "And I wasn't going out of this world without actually knowing what it was like to get laid." "I went to the girl's house alone and invited myself in and she offered me some Twinkies" "Let's fuck." "And I touched her tits and she went into her bedroom and I watched and realised that it was actually happening." "So I tried to fuck her but didn't know how and asked her if she'd ever done this before." "mainly with her cousin." "I got grossed out very heavily so I left. the girl's father came in screaming and accusing someone of taking advantage of his daughter. calling me "the retard fucker". so I got high and drunk and walked down to the train tracks" "and laid down and put two big pieces of cement on my chest and legs and I waited for the 11 o'clock train. and it went on the next track besides me instead of over me." "The tension from school had an effect on me but still never had any friends because I... for they were so phoney." "he moved back in with Mom and I." "It was a struggle." "it was still him wanting to rebel and getting stoned and going out with his friends do chores just do his own thing." "He wanted normalcy." "and everything happy." "cos he kinda fought against it." "So he fought against what he really wanted." " (Kurt) Hello?" "Hello?" " (Buzz) You still there?" "though." "(Buzz) OK." "Are you recording this or writing it down?" "I'm recording and writing." "(Buzz chuckles) you know?" "What an isolated hellhole it really is." "we'd all be dead now." "yeah." "Did you ever see that movie Over the Edge?" "God!" "That movie had such an effect on me." "you guys." "You are to take these home to your parents." "It's to let them know about a special emergency meeting to discuss the problems about you people." "(Kurt) I love that movie." "(Buzz) I always wanted to do that in front of you. and I wanted to hold everyone captive in the school." "Everybody that's ever messed with me in one room." "That'd be just about everybody in town." "We should go down there and tell them all to go to hell." "man!" "(man) I don't know how many of us are willing to admit just how deep in trouble some of the kids in this city are." "(man) Has anyone ever sat down and talked to these kids?" "I talk to them six hours a day until I'm blue in the face." "I spend more time with your kids than you people do." "You think those kids are interested in learning?" "You ought to come in and see what goes on in the classroom." "(Kurt) # Won't you believe it?" "It's just my luck" "# Won't you believe it?" "It's just my luck" "# Won't you believe it?" "It's just my luck" "# Won't you believe it?" "It's just my luck" "# No recess!" "# No recess!" "# No recess!" "God... there was so much Reagan propaganda going on." "This teacher would just go off on it every day." "(girl) Practise your piano." " You need practice on it." " Go to hell!" "(Buzz) Burn the place to the fucking ground." "(Kurt) Yeah!" "# No recess!" "# No recess!" "# No recess!" "(Buzz) High school's such a worthless fucking nothing." "you know?" "I quit the last two months of school. you know?" "I felt so different and so crazy that people just left me alone." "# No recess!" "(director) Did Kurt find the underground or did the underground find him?" "(Kim) I think he went in search of it and I think they found each other." "He was searching for whatever made him feel like he wasn't alone and that he wasn't so different." "(man) When did you first hear punk rock?" "I'd wanted to hear punk rock forever." "they didn't have it in our record shop in Aberdeen. made me a couple of compilation tapes." "And I was completely blown away." "I would lip sync to those tapes and I wore them out you know." "It was the greatest thing." "It expressed the way I felt socially and politically the alienation." "And I realised that this is what I've always wanted to do." "# Fill me in on your new vision" "# Wake me up with indecision" "# Help me trust your mighty wisdom" "I am not proud" "the most incredible thing I've ever done." "# Easy in an easy chair" "# Poop as hard as rock" "# I don't like you anyway" "# Seal it in a box" "(Kurt) If we played together in the house for a couple of hours you know." "A show." "That was good enough." "you know." "Locals who hated our guts and thought it was terrible music." "17." "piqued my interest." "And then I noticed what a good artist he was. usually defacing something." "idle hands." "It just came out of him." "He had to express himself." "(indistinct voice) who taught you how to play guitar anyway?" "(band tunes up)" "(instrumental)" "(Krist) Brilliant." "Brilliant improvisational." "Jerry Garcia would really like this." " I'm gonna send him a tape." " (Krist) Send it to Jerry." "(Kurt) You just have to sprinkle it with patchouli or something." "He'll dig right into it." "wait." "Ready?" "you dick!" "yeah lone single" "yeah" "# Everyone is hollow yeah" "# Everyone is playing yeah" "# You can even..." "# Yeah dive" "# Dive in me dive" "# Dive in me" "# Dive in me" "# Dive in me" "# Dive in me" "(Jenny) He really didn't want to live with his mom or his dad." "He wanted to be on his own." "(Wendy) So he moves into this dump. not being able to pay his own way." "it was completely graffitied." "Scooby Doo." "Rocky and Bullwinkle." "But it was pornographic." "(Kim) There was just no way he was gonna be the nine-to-five work guy that comes home with the briefcase and wife cooks him dinner." "that just wasn't ever gonna happen." "But he wanted some type of connection." "this is love." "This is shitting and pissing and fucking all over each other." "Licking and spitting up Gerber baby food." "this is love." "I know some people will say that... took care of him." "But I like to think it was more I was trying to nurture him rather than take care of him." "Trying to nurture who he was and get him to... let him do his music and encourage him to get better at it as opposed to trying to stifle it. but trying to be a nurturing girlfriend or friend." "I liked him." "I had a crush on him." "Don't you get that she likes you?" or something." "Cos he was just kinda clueless about it." "I liked that he was funny." "He made me laugh." "goofy or silly." "But mostly we just had a good time hanging out." "I think he might have been a bit angry at the way he was treated at school and angry with his mom and with his dad." "I think it was not so much that it was hard for him to accept love but the fact that maybe he was afraid of getting hurt." "He was living in this tiny little house in Aberdeen." "Why don't you just move in with me and be in Olympia?" "So we moved in together." "It was nice to have someone to share the evening with as well as the daytime." "each reading a book." "It was just..." "you kind of felt grown up a teenager." "I'd like to think he was happy." "I just tried to support him because he wanted to be a musician." "to get his band going. and play music that way." "He wanted to be a success." "man." "Good luck." "Part the Red Seas." "(man) Shut the fuck up!" "come on in" "# Floyd observes my hairy chin don't be afraid" "# Steamed hot towel on my face" "# I was shaved" "# I was shaved" "# I was shaved" "# Barney ties me to the chair" "I'm really scared" "I hear a zip" "# Pee-pee pressed against my lips" "# I was shamed" "# I was shamed" "# I was shamed" "(song finishes)" "(crowd cheers) for coming." "(band tunes up)" "he was a handyman. doctor's offices and dentist's offices and things like that." "he just ended up not having another job after that." " (director) So who would support him?" " Me." "(director) And what would he do all day while you were at work?" "It was funny cos sometimes he'd just sit there and watch TV for four hours but he'd be playing guitar while he was doing that or think up stuff later and then you'd go out for a few hours and you'd come back" "and there was a painting on the wall or there's a big comic strip or whatever;" "and recorded it." "(reporter) ..described them arriving at this scene... you know." "Co-o-o-ol." "Where's the m-m-m-m..." "M-m-m-m-m-m... (yodels) she can breed me she could break free" "# I don't even care" "# We could be all three" "# She said" "# She said" "(echoing) Warm babies on my cold feet at the end of my bed." "(eerie echoing effects)" "I want you to see something." "Shh!" "They're in the house." "They're in the house." "but we warn that viewers may find parts of the footage disturbing." "(man on tape) The object of the exercise is to observe the monster for as long as possible." "(woman) # Think I'll go for a walk outside now" "# The summer sun's calling my name" "(distorted voice on tape) d-d-day" "(man on tape) A person who is success-minded has a success consciousness and..." " (group) # Everybody's smiling - (man on tape) ..success awareness." "(group) # Into the sunshine" "Why is that so groovy?" "(Kurt sings indistinctly)" "# She should have been a son" "# She should have been a son" "# She should have been a son" "(phone rings)" "(Kurt sings)" "Hello?" "she's not." "She went to work." "Alright." "(Kurt sings indistinctly)" "Bass part." "na-na na" "(Kurt sings indistinctly)" "(guitar)" "(Kurt sings indistinctly)" "(lullaby plays on music box)" "(Kurt sings indistinctly)" "(Kurt sings indistinctly)" "(distorted voice on tape)" "(man on tape) A person who is success minded has a success consciousness and suc-suc-suc-suc-suc... am I gonna wake you up." "N-N-N-N-Now c'mon." "You know this is really the best way to start your day." "Now don't think about anything else but getting that body in shape cos you deserve it." "Now hold the stomach in." "C'mon." "Gimme some good posture." "Hold your head up high." "Tighten those buns." "Get ready because this is for you!" "(guitar intro)" "(Kurt) # She said she'd take me anywhere" "# She'd take me anywhere" "# As long as she stays with me" "# She said she'd take me anywhere" "# She'd take me anywhere" "# As long as I stayed clean kiss Molly's lips kiss Molly's lips kiss Molly's lips kiss Molly's lips" "This song has two notes." "(Plays guitar)" "That's it." "This note and this note." "# She said she'd take me anywhere" "# She'd take me anywhere" "# As long as she stays with me" "# She said she'd take me anywhere" "# She'd take me anywhere" "# As long as I stayed clean kiss Molly's lips kiss Molly's lips kiss Molly's lips kiss Molly's lips kiss Molly's lips kiss Molly's lips kiss Molly's lips kiss Molly's lips" "(man 1) Look at these losers. (laughs) man." "my name is Dana." "I caught Nirvana in their dressing room on their recent tour." "At what point are you on this tour right now?" "(Krist) We're at the point of kicking each other's ass." "(Dana) I would imagine that the constant party atmosphere on the road would create a great deal of physical and mental stress." "How do you deal with it?" "man." "You know what?" "We should move in our stuff before it starts raining." "Yeah." "Texas." "(Dana) Does success ever frighten you?" "(band member) (50 'm the van'." "Hey'.!" "because we actually want to become more successful so we can have a comfortable life." "buddy." "but it'll work." "man." "That's not... (man) How would you describe the music you play and the things you do? high-energy type of rock and roll." "and..." "I guess." "(man) What makes you want to be Nirvana?" "What makes us want to be Nirvana?" "We're Nirvana because we're not Aerosmith or something." "Or the Vegetables." "Or... (man) What's the future of Nirvana?" "The future of Nirvana?" "I don't know." "Hopefully try to write some more good songs." "That's all we care about is writing good music." "it doesn't matter." "The music's more important." "so this is the last one." "# Would you believe me when I tell you You are the queen of my heart?" "# Please don't deceive me when I hurt you" "# Just ain't the way it seems" "# Can you feel my love buzz?" "# Can you feel my love buzz?" "# Can you feel my love buzz?" "# Can you feel my love buzz?" "(Krist) I remember the first review Nirvana ever got and they gave us a bad review." "They said it was like Lynyrd Skynyrd but without the flares." "Kurt was really hurt with that and he was telling me that." ""Don't worry about it." "they're hipsters or..." "Screw them!" or whatever." "Kurt hated being humiliated." "He hated it." "He hated it!" "then you'd see the rage come out. and stubborn about how the way the art and the work was presented because he didn't want to be humiliated." "like..." "I humiliate myself or whatever." "But not Kurt." "No." "(Tracy) He had really violent dreams a lot. and he'd have to stab them." "Once in a while it might be his family who was trying to kill him." "But that was just really rare." "Usually it was someone else coming after him that he didn't know. that really wasn't gonna happen." "Kurt would get stomach aches a lot and say his stomach hurt." "he'd be feeling fine and then he'd get out of the car" "I gotta throw up." "but it didn't really work." "I sing right from my stomach." "Right where my stomach pain is." "they'd find a red irritation." "I would sing and cough up blood." "this is no way to live a life." "I love to play music but something's not right." "So I decided to medicate myself." "(man) How much of that pain would you say actually fuels what you're writing and playing?" "that's a scary question you know." "But I would give up everything to have good health." "I might not be as creative." "(director) There's a journal entry where Kurt mentions doing heroin for the first time in 1987 when he was living with you." "he never told me that." "He totally had kept that from me cos I totally would've talked him out of it." "he used to make fun of some of the people in Seattle that were using that and say it was really stupid. ever." "so..." "I can't really say exactly why we broke up." "I just know that we were fighting more and he was staying away from the house more." "I think he just pretty much didn't love me as much as he used to." "Or felt..." "He just felt like maybe he was moving ahead and I wasn't." "Kurt Cobain's here." "Kurt Cobain from Aberdeen." "baby?" " Not a damn thing." ""I wanna play some songs." "Rockin' good news!" "Bloody brilliant!" "I just wrote most of the lyrics this evening." "on the way up here?" " While I was driving with one foot." "that's what I did." "I just thought I would just come here and say hi." "let her rip." "is there any major-label interest in you at the present?" " Can you say?" " (Krist) Not at the moment." "(Kurt) Anybody not affiliated with CBS." "(woman) Would you consider changing?" "(Kurt) We're considering it because we wanna get as much as we can. but you're also ambitious for a lazy person." "(Kurt) You think so?" "(man 2) How does it feel to be surrounded by so many people telling you that you soon are doing very well?" "(Kurt) I think it's embarrassing to have so many expectations. to state that they're the next big thing." "that's not our goal in the first place." "People are putting that tag on us without us really wanting to do that." "(man 2) You're not prepared for that?" "(Kurt) Not prepared?" "Nope." "Because we're not going to be." "We're prepared to destroy our careers if it happens." "(Kurt) # I'm so happy" "# Cos today I've found my friends" "# They're in my head" "# I'm so ugly cos so are you" "# We've broken our mirrors" "# Sunday morning # ls every day for all I care" "# And I'm not scared" "# Light my candles" "# In a daze cos I've found God yeah yeah yeah" "yeah yeah yeah" "# Yeah" "# I'm so lonely" "I shaved my head" "# And I'm not sad" "# And just maybe" "# I'm to blame for all I've heard" "# But I'm not sure" "# I'm so excited" "(Kurt) I am Kurt." "I play guitar and I sing." "And I am Dave." "And I play drums." "And I sing sometimes but not that often." "I'm Chris and I play bass." "thank God!" "yeah yeah" "Nirvana's joined us in the studio tonight." "New Music Hour." "we've got Kurt Cobain and Dave Grohl. and you guys'll be doing an in-store at the Beehive Music and Video in the University District." "meet the band." "That's at seven to nine." "I'm not gonna crack" "I'm not gonna crack" "I'm not gonna crack" "I'm not gonna crack" "I'm not gonna crack" "I'm not gonna crack" "I'm not gonna crack" "I'm not gonna crack" "(crowd cheers)" "he's home." "And he comes downstairs and he's in his little whitey tighties." "No shirt." "Barefoot." "No pants other than his undies and..." "Very Don Cobain." "That's another thing I got sick of looking at." "What's that?" "It's the master cut to my new album." "Can I put it on the stereo?" "up." "Because I listen to music really loud." "my God!" "my God!" And I almost start crying." "not from happiness." "From fear." "It was fear." ""This is going to change everything." "cos you are not ready for this. all the worst aspects of them come true as well." "be careful what you wish for." "You're gonna get it." "(Kurt) Yeah." "(man) How do you sort of deal with the pull-apart;" "being pulled apart by stuff like that?" "I don't know if I expressed that the right way or not." "(Kurt) Well..." "Er..." "(choir) # Load up on guns" "# Bring your friends" "# It's fun to lose" "# And to pretend" "# She's over-bored" "# And self-assured" "I know a dirty word hello how low?" "hello how low?" "hello" "# With the lights out" "# It's less dangerous" "# Here we are now" "# Entertain us" "# I feel stupid" "# And contagious" "# Here we are now" "# Entertain us" "# A mulatto" "# An albino" "# A mosquito" "# My libido" "# A denial" "# A denial" "# A denial" "# A denial" "# A denial" "and cut." "that's a wrap." "this is the safest place to be." "where the bathroom is." "As soon as you walked on this plane" "I took one gander at you and I saw nothing but trouble." "Ha!" "Bah!" "See if you can try and do it." "Me and my sidekick Tree Frog Johnson here is gonna rip you a new butthole." " (Dave) Is this time our time?" " (Kurt) What a sensitive man." "almost three in the morning." "(Krist) Time flies when you're having fun." "(Song intro)" "I don't care care if it's old" "I don't mind don't have a mind get away awayfromyourhome" "I'm afraid afraid of a ghost" "# Even if you have" "# Even if you need" "# I don't mean to stare" "# We don't have to breed" "# We could plant a house" "# We could build a tree" "# I don't even care she said" "(DJ) 99 x." "(man 1) That Nirvana stuff you played last night?" "could you play it?" "(man 3) You don't have any bootleg CDs of Nirvana?" "(woman) Could you play some Nirvana?" "a world premiere video from Nirvana." "Smells Like Teen Spirit." "# Even if you have" "# Even if you need" "# I don't mean to stare" "# We don't have to breed" "What do we say?" "We're Nirvana and this is The Week in Rock." "all you people staying up late on a Sunday night." "Slack off!" "You don't need your job." "Cram it! - and you're watching..." " 120 Minutes." " On..." " MTTV." "# Even if you have" "# Even if you need" "# I don't mean to stare" "# We don't have to breed" "# We could plant a house" "# We could build a tree" "# I don't even care she said" "# She said" "# She said" "# She said" "The hottest new rock band in the country right now may well be Nirvana." "(woman) The hottest band at the moment." "(man) The band it seems everybody's talking about." "really seem to be getting into Nirvana right now." "Do you see when you go out and play shows that the crowds are getting different?" " Isn't it pretty overwhelming?" " (Kurt) Everybody wants to be hip." "then?" " Everyone wants to be accepted." "(woman) Yeah?" "OK." "Cool." "000 albums in the United States." "something like that?" "It makes it gold." "It makes it a free gift to my mother for Christmas." " Exactly!" " Don't have to pay for a gift." "What's Mom getting for Christmas?" "I guess she's getting a gold record." "rich now?" "no!" "We're so far from having any money." "I guess." "(woman) Do you care what critics think?" "I've never heard as many sort of glowing criticism... glowing!" " Does that make you feel good?" "that's for sure." "I wouldn't believe it." "No way." "I'm not gonna believe some journalist that's just spewing about some band that he thinks changed his life or..." "You can't believe everything you read." "all you have to do is..." "Music is a personal experience. if it's good or bad." "you know." "it works for you..." " You know this lighter..." " What the hell." "(guitar intro)" "(man) There are probably a lot of kids who hear your songs whether you're having trouble with parents or with school the usual dysfunctional stuff that happens. do you have any sense of who you're playing to?" "(Kurt) I'm playing to kids in general." "it doesn't matter where they come from." "We have the same problems you know?" "# One baby to another says" "# I'm lucky to have met you" "# I don't care what you think" "# Unless it is about me" "# It is now my duty to completely drain you" "# I travel through a tube" "# And end up in your infection" "# Chew your meat for you" "# Pass it back and forth" "# In a passionate kiss" "# From my mouth to yours" "# I like you" "(man) You guys don't like explaining anything to do with your music." "What's the problem with going on camera and just... man." "It's all in the music." "It's all in the meat!" "(man) You don't think that people that are fans of you maybe?" "Or what you were... you know?" "how they interpret it." "you seem to complain about the apathy of our generation." "And do you share this lack of engagement yourself?" "being apathetic?" " (man 2) Yeah." " Sure." " (man 2) Why'?" "Why?" "Because we sleep too much." "just say it." " (Kurt) Just read it." "Hello!" "Stay tuned for more..." "Nirvana on ABC 'm concert'.!" " (woman) You want to do more?" " One more?" "do one more." "# With eyes so dilated" "# I've become your pupil" "# You've taught me everything please welcome Nirvana!" "Nirvana are real." "There's nothing pretentious about them or anything like that." "you know." "Everyone wants to see Nirvana." "he's so beautiful!" "# Sloppy lips to lips" "# You're my vitamins" "# I like you" "Interviews are worthless!" "Let's go!" " What do you think about interviews?" " What do I think?" "Did you hear my reaction when he asked me if I wanted to do one?" " - - - no." "(man 1) I'm a hardcore Nirvana fan myself." "(man 2) Yeah?" "Is this a disease you've had long?" "Any cure for it?" "(man 1) He's talking from his experiences." "(man 2) He's talking from his experience?" "sir." " (man 1) It was not his goal to make millions of dollars when he made the stuff." "He's writing about his life. and it doesn't need to be on millions of CDs for kids to listen to and identify with and have more of their despair and their hopelessness emphasised by the tragedy of this man's life." "I guess each individual is gonna deal with it you know... especially coming from this complete obscurity number-one band in the world." "you know." "you know." "Kurt had heroin." "(director) Given how volatile and complicated why do you think he chose that moment to start his relationship with Courtney?" "this woman. so I wanted to build a home." "too." "He wanted to build a home because his home and his family fell apart." "they had... intellectual." "too." "But that was all part of the package of building a home." "check." "shall we?" "Maybe it'll bug them and they'll play really bad." "(man) So you're having a relationship with the guitar player?" "No?" "It was a short love affair?" "I don't know what it was." "Honestly." "yeah." " (man) What happened?" " I don't care." "(Courtney) We're making a movie." " (Dave) Did you curl your hair?" " (Courtney) You don't like it?" "(Dave) It's nicer when it's straight because it doesn't make your face look so round." "(Courtney) Oh. my God!" "(Kurt) Hello?" "(Krist) How is it on stage?" "Is it clear on stage?" "if she ever comes down now" "# If she ever comes down now" "# If she ever comes now if she ever comes down now" "# If she ever comes down now" "# If she ever comes now she looks so good she's made out of wood" "Oh but he carried himself like someone who didn't know that." "And that was part of the charm." "He didn't know that he was a better-looking guy than Brad Pitt." "We got on like a house on fuckin' fire. but I didn't have a fantasy that he had. then I'm gonna be a junkie." "That was his... those are his words." "(bass intro)" "# Come as you are" "# As you were" "# As I want you to be" "# As a friend" "# As a friend" "# As an old enemy hurry up" "# The choice is yours" "# Don't be late my God!" "He's totally trapped back there." "(man) Is it fun to be famous?" "(Kurt) People who are really famous end up total recluses and they don't do anything." "That sucks." "# And I swear that I don't have a gun" "I don't have a gun" "I don't have a gun" "# Memoria" "# Memoria" "# Memoria" "# Memoria" "# And I swear that I don't have a gun" "I don't have a gun" "I don't have a gun" "I don't have a gun" "(crowd cheers)" "the hype." "an overnight spokesman for many disaffected young people." "(man 2) A spokesman for a generation." "he's the closest they have to John Lennon." "the hysteria." "(cacophony of overlapping voices)" "(Kurt) It's not my fault." "I never wanted the fame." "(discordant guitar feedback)" "Seattle's own Nirvana finds itself at the very top front woman of an LA band called Hole." "Cobain fell ill with a stomach problem during their tour of four continents and had to cancel a number of dates in England. but so far only the next Reading Festival in August." "Nirvana is now retreating from doing interviews. the band would rather their music speak for itself than be knighted as spokesmen for a generation. and Kurt decided to take six months off. he took six months off of their touring schedule?" "(director) He could've toured the world and made a shitload of money." "I see." "(director) It seemed he wanted to stay in an apartment with you and do heroin." "he wanted to stay in an apartment and do heroin and paint." "And play his guitar." "That's what he wanted to do." "(Kurt) Hi." "(Kurt growls I babbles)" "Hi." "(Courtney) This is our house." "This is where we live." "but sometimes it's nice." "cos no one else fucking does." "this is the toilet." "This is..." " This is me." " (Kurt) Courtney." " (Courtney) Hello?" " (Kurt) Do we have a turkey baster?" "(Courtney laughs) What?" "Why do you think that everyone thinks you're the good one and I'm the bad one?" "(Kurt) Because I know how to use my illusion." "(Courtney laughs) Where are you going?" "(Kurt) I'm going into my living room!" "I paid for this." "(Courtney) Put on the dancing merry chimp!" "So is this the living room that that guy described in Rolling Stone magazine?" "Nothing but a Twin Reverb amp and teddy bears to keep him company." " (Courtney) Where's Eric?" " (Eric) The chimp." "honey." "love." "you film for a while." "This is the Kurt Cobain action figure." "(Kurt) Secret coded message in his guitar." "I think he looks remarkably a lot like you." "Look at that." "(Kurt) I've had that since I was a child." "vintage..." "Come into the breakfast nook!" "(guitar intro)" " Are you filming us?" " Uh-huh." "(Kurt) # She gives me everything" "# And tenderly" "# The kiss my lover brings" "# She brings to me" "# And I love her" "# Bright are the stars that shine" "# Dark is the sky" "# I know this love of mine" "# Will never die" "# And I love her" "# A love like ours" "# Will never die" "# As long as I hold you near me" "(director) Did you guys want to have a baby?" "yes." "we wanted to have a baby." "And I conceived Frances in December." "yes. important." "You know? I'd have had more kids with him." "(Courtney on film) Why do you feel so bad?" " (Kurt) Why'?" " (Courtney) Uh-huh." "(Kurt) Because I want to." "It's my fault." " All my fault." " (Courtney) You're beautiful." " I think you're really cute." " Thank you." "(Courtney) So do a lot of Sassy readers." "I married Bobby Sherman." "(Kurt) Do you think they do this to me?" "(Courtney) What?" "Do you think they do this to me when they read Sassy?" "(Courtney laughs)" "(Courtney) Girls don't masturbate over their teen idols." "They don't?" "schematic plans." "Girls are a lot more complex than boys." "You don't know what girls do to each other." "you don't." "(Kurt) They're vicious. but I wouldn't let you go on tour with crafty girls man." "They..." "They..." "They diss me." "They diss me all the time." "it's not even like I can't trust you. even if they're new men and they're you." "you still can't trust them." "but I don't agree." "I'm a new man." "I'm a man for the '90s." "I'm Ward Cleaver. "How are we gonna tell Courtney? become the most hated woman in America." "You were already the most hated woman in America." "What?" "You and Roseanne Barr tied for being the most hated woman in America. not played the Reading Festival this year when I could've kicked your ass." "(Kurt) You should still play the Reading Festival." "yeah." "So I should just play the Reading Festival." "that's right." "light yourself on fire." "Everyone wants to see this." "And this is only half of it." " The rest is yet to come." " Look." "Moustache!" "I kind of like that." "Free moustache rides!" "(Courtney) It's a womb broom." "please!" " OK!" " Just keep it for the night." " No way!" "you need..." "This is the... outshined!" "This is the look of Aberdeen." "look at the camera!" "you weren't in Vietnam." "I was in Vietnam!" "Look at my large breasts. and whoever else is responsible for the Kurt Cobain-Courtney pig story." "Your story in April's Sassy about Kurt Cobain and that Courtney hag truly made me want to vomit." "what could have been a beautiful interview experience was totally ruined by nasty old dirty Ms Love running her big fat mouth." "Who cares about her stupid Victorian house or her sucky band or how she was so obnoxious and pushy that she scared poor Kurt into going out with her? so what possessed you to be so insensitive to those of us" "who would lick the ground Kurt Cobain walked on? you went so far as to show her kissing Kurt." "Blech!" "never!" "the Kurt slave." "And there's a little happy face on the bottom." "thanks to you." "Why don't you interview us?" ""Kurt and Courtney:" "Sassy II." "How does it feel to be fast?" "in the fast lane?" "At the height of their drug abuse... I'd be on tour with Guns N' Roses right now." "snake dancing across speakers." "Snake dancing across the stage together singing Nazareth songs." "man." "baby?" "(coughs) you and me be with me" "# I want to be your girlfriend" "# I want to be your girlfriend" "# Let me just be your girlfriend" "# Let me just be your girlfriend" "I put it in my ass and it kind of was painful" "I put it in my anus and that was heinous" "#I put it in my anus and it kind of was heinous" "# But I put it in my belly and it kind of was smelly" "# And I want to be your girlfriend" "# I want to be your girlfriend baby yeah" "# I want to ride in your bratmobile" "# I want to shoot up in your bratmobile but... and then I stopped." "And I knew she would be fine." "(Courtney on film) Come on'.!" "he was never concerned that our child would have..." "I assured him that I was built like an oxen and could carry this pregnancy to term and not have any problems." "I was a young woman." "The pregnancy isn't the problem." "I'm gonna go shoot up in celebratory fashion." "that was our lifestyle. the sea monkeys were present." "You little girl." "They found the little girl stewing under his yellow cigarette-stained fingernails." "# And if you say your prayers" "# You will make God happy" "# And if you do what's true" "# You will make me happy" "# I'll keep you in a jar" "# And you will seem happy" "# I'll give you breathing holes" "# You will think you're happy now" "(distorted guitar feedback)" "(distorted voice on tape) you're dying of smack addiction or shit like that?" "it makes you feel like the kid in school who gets picked on all the time." "Or it makes you feel like the school slut." "Wayne." "(Kurt) I feel like people want me to die because it'd be the classic rock and roll story." "(crowd cheers)" "(Kurt) I would like to officially and publicly announce that this is our last show. and she thinks everybody hates her now." "we love you"?" " (crowd cheers)" " OK?" "Ready?" "On the count of three." "three... we love you!" "Thanks." "# When I was an alien" "# Cultures weren't opinions when I'm there a better way when I'm there a better way" "# Just because you're paranoid" "# Don't mean they're not after you when I'm there when I'm there when I'm there a better way" "(Kurt) Hi." "Hi." "How you doing?" "Are you getting suspicious with this weird electronic device in your face?" "what do you see in there?" "Nothing." "OK." "A little pee." "(Kurt) That is most definitely amphibian." "(Kurt) Don't look at me." "Don't... this is your real problem." "you won't look." "hi." " (Courtney) Look at Dad." "(Kurt roars)" "(Kurt roars)" "(Frances squeals)" "(Courtney) This is the happiest baby I've ever seen." "Don't you think?" "she's got lots of things in store for her." "(Courtney) You want to be a star for a while and I'll film?" "You want to be the star?" "Fly." "Want to fly?" "Fly?" "Fly?" "Nose." "Tastes good?" "Want to barf in my mouth again?" "Three times is the charm." " Are you getting all this?" " (Courtney) Yes!" " (Kurt) Aren't we lucky?" " (Courtney) I know." "(man) Are you worried about the kind of mistakes that might have been made when you were growing up that sort of impacts on how you deal with her situation?" "(Kurt) No." "My father and I are completely different people." "I know that I'm capable of showing a lot more affection than my dad was." "I would never allow us to be in a situation where there are bad vibes between us in front of her. it's to give Frances as much love as we can. it's going to be her because I don't want her to be screwed up because of it." "I don't know what's going to happen in the next few years." "It's kind of scary." "(Courtney yells)" " (Courtney) I dropped it." " (Kurt) Mommy's loud." "who's a big crybaby?" "look at that." "She's..." "She's kind of upset!" "let's get her naked." "That's what I want." "I want you naked." "who the fuck do you think you are?" " (Courtney) Ew!" " (Kurt) Seeing your interviews makes me think you guys are the most immature pieces of trash ever made." "If you assholes could ever write anything maybe you could talk. take your head out of your asses and smell the air." "It smells like Guns N' Roses." "(Courtney) Thank you." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Thank you." "enough of cute voices." "I have to read this now." "Especially you!" "Don't look at me." "yeah." "(man on tape) In an isolation tank as New Age music humid air." "(distorted singing voice on tape) starring a famous radio couple who have never before appeared in a story of this kind." "(answering machine beeps)" "(on answering machine) This is Kurt Cobain." "I have a lot of things to say to you." "A lot of fucking things to say to you." "You parasitic little fucking cunt." "You're not writing about my band." "You're writing about how jealous you are of my wife." "You have absolutely no fucking idea what you're doing." "You will find out." "I don't care if this is a recorded threat." "I'm at the end of my rope." "I've never been more fucking serious in my life." "(answering machine beeps)" "(glass shatters) and belief in our own abilities." "Make your determination so strong that it will eliminate any situation or circumstance which stands in the way of your goal." "check." "(baby squeals)" "(guitar intro)" "(Kurt sings indistinctly)" "(Courtney) This looks just like the Metallica video." "This is part of your rockumentary." "I think this album is a..." "It really expresses the way we feel inside." "(man) You can't just do what you do on stage." "You can't." "You're making an album." "Frances!" "Ah!" "OK." "baby." "rock on!" "Daddy's got to go rock!" "(Song intro)" "(Kurt) # Teenage angst has paid off well" "# Now I'm bored and old" "# Self-appointed judges judge" "# More than they have sold" "# If she floats then she is not" "# A witch like we had thought" "# A down payment on another" "# One at Salem's Lot let's make a record to lose most of your audience." "about a year and a half ago." "I was completely fed up with the whole thing." "I didn't want to be a rock star at all." "you know?" "But I've had two years to recuperate." "# That legendary divorce is such a bore" "# As my bones grew they did hurt" "# They hurt really bad" "# I tried hard to have a father" "# But instead I had a dad" "# I just want you to know that I!" "# Don't hate you any more" "# There is nothing I could say" "# That I haven't thought before oh no oh no" "# Serve the servants" "# That legendary divorce is such a bore will make its debut at number one on Monday's new Billboard pop chart." "Nirvana will be starting a US tour at the Arizona State Fair." "(distorted guitar feedback)" "(all) # Happy birthday to you dear Frances" "# Happy birthday to you" "(all cheer)" "(Courtney) You're one!" "You're one!" "One year old!" "what's this?" " We got something to do." "This is great!" "Alright!" "Kurt!" "You can't leave!" "Come back!" "(woman) Would you like some cake?" "I'm not opening this till you come back." " (Courtney) Kurt?" " I'm bored." "(Courtney) Kurt?" "It's Frances's first haircut." "I'm going to take the chair out." "Put her on the throne." "(Kurt) Let me do that." "(Courtney) Should I do it right here?" "Kurt?" "Sit her on the throne." "Where's the scissors?" "You got 'em?" " (nanny) Somebody's gotta hold her." " (Kurt) I can do it." "I am!" "You aren't very still with her." "I am." "I'm doing the haircut." "just..." "Jesus Christ." " (Courtney) OK." " You are such a good baby." "(nanny) Shall I go down and get a bowl?" "(Courtney) Will you try and find the classical station on there?" "This is your Cartier comb." " (Frances babbles) - (Courtney) That's right." "(Kurt hums "Mahna Mahna")" "You haven't been eating a lot." "You don't feel like a bloated child." "you gotta force her to eat lately." "(man) She's been sick." "you really have to force her to eat." "She's not..." "She's not motivated." "We don't have any milk in the house either." "I'm tired of telling everyone." "a big deal." "I'm so tired." "Can't keep my eyes open." "(Courtney) Stop it!" "on drugs." " I'm not on drugs!" "I'm tired!" " Do you have more teeth?" "(Kurt grunts)" "See?" "See?" "Wife beating." "(Courtney) Here we go." "(Frances cries) my pretty girly locks!" "(nanny) You look so gorgeous." "You won't be able to believe it." "You won't be able to believe it." "You won't be able to believe it." "# Amazing grace!" "# How sweet the sound" "# That saved a wretch like me" "# I once was lost" "# But now am found" "# Was blind" "# But now I see" "it got worse." "to hide." "And it was really bad." "He started getting sores and he was losing weight and nodding out and... but I decided one time to just confront him. and he was sitting on the side of the bed. and he knew it was breaking my heart." "But I..." "And I talked to him about it and everything that I had learned about heroin." "And I asked him if he was at the stage where he was addicted to also the needle prick." "And he burst into tears." "And he... he was just ashamed. was I Hate Myself and Want to Die." "How literal is that song in terms of the title?" "I mean..." "Nothing more than a joke." "(man) What kind of... who were you playing the joke on? either this is really intensely satirical or there's some really dark shit happening here." "(Kurt chuckles)" "(Kurt) I'm really thankful for a lot of things." "I come to more optimistic conclusions." "(man) Do you find that you're getting happier in general?" "(Kurt) I hope I don't become so blissful that I lose... (man) Become boring?" "you know? so I'm starting from scratch for the first time." "(man) Tabula rasa." "Ought to be interesting." "(Kurt) Yeah." "(man) Is there a little fear of the unknown?" "(Kurt) Yeah." "Definitely." "check." "Turn both guitars down now." "They're too loud." "you know that goofy ass stuff that they have at music stores called Finger Ease?" "It's like an anal gel." "If I could just put some on this string." "it's like a roll-on." "I'm being picky today." "Amy!" "like..." "Will you and Janet and everybody that I know sit in the front so I can look at you?" "Cos I hate strangers." "three." "(crowd cheers)" "Thank you." "A")!" "requests?" " (man 1) Teen Spirit." " (man 2) Sliver." "(man 3) Drain You." "(man 4) Serve the Servants." "(Krist) Remember the little black bird on Davey and Goliath?" "The little what?" "Black bird on Davey and Goliath singing Kumbaya." "I don't remember the little bird." "Remember that really evil episode where he was really mad at this kid and he had all these visions of how he was going to..." "I'm going to take him up to a hill and tie him to a tree and tar and feather him!" "It was evil." "That wasn't Christian at all!" "(guitar intro)" "# What else should I be?" "# All apologies" "# What else should I say?" "# Everyone is gay" "# What else should I write?" "# I don't have the right" "# What else should I be?" "# All apologies" "# In the sun" "# In the sun I feel as one" "# In the sun" "# In the sun" "# Married" "# Buried" "# Married" "# Buried yeah" "# All in all is all we are" "# All in all is all we are" "# All in all is all we are" "# All in all is all we are" "# All in all is all we are" "# All in all is all we are" "# All in all is all we are" "# All in all is all we are" "# All in all is all we are" " (Wendy) What do you want?" " (young Kurt) I don't know." "(Wendy) Do you want 15090 play someplace?" " (young Kurt) Yeah." " (Wendy) What do you want to do'?" "(young Kurt) I'm gonna play tape recorders." "(Frances laughs)" "(Kurt yells) 1993." "Frances Bean Cobain." "I'm thirsty. (yells)" "(Kurt) Yabba dabba doo.!" "(Courtney) This is nice'.!" "Led Zeppelin and the Beatles." "That's you." "(Kurt) Did you say Bob Dylan?" "but..." "I mean... like this?" "(drawls like Bob Dylan) Every... now and then... things I know about." "done it." "I feel kind of happy right now." "too." "(director) We're all sensitive to ridicule and shame. felt things a little more intensely." "he was so sensitive he fucking must... he must have been psychic or something." "but I thought about it." "(director) You never cheated on Kurt?" "and he knew it." "And I don't know how he knew it." "I have no idea how he knew it." "I didn't... the plan didn't ever go anywhere. but I was tired and I am..." "I'm not..." "I wasn't as monogamous as he is." "I flirt with chairs." "never cheated on him." "But I certainly thought about it one time in London." "And I could've done it." "And the response to it was he took 67 Rohypnols and ended up in a coma because I thought about cheating on him." "fuck!" "You're kidding." "I didn't even make the phone call to do it." "(director) So why do you think he chose that night to try to take his life?" "Was it because he felt rejected? you know what I mean?" "(guitar intro)" "my girl" "# Don't lie to me" "# Tell me where did you sleep last night?" "in the pines" "# Where the sun don't ever shine" "# I would shiver the whole night through my girl" "# Where will you go?" "# I'm going where the cold wind blows in the pines" "# Where the sun don't ever shine" "# I would shiver the whole night through" "# Her husband was a hard-working man" "# Just about a mile from here" "# His head was found in a driving wheel" "# But his body never was found my girl" "# Don't lie to me" "# Tell me where did you sleep last night?" "in the pines" "# Where the sun don't ever shine" "# I would shiver the whole night through my girl" "# Where will you go?" "# I'm going where the cold wind blows in the pines" "# Where the sun don't shine" "# I'd shiver" "# The whole" "# Night through" "(crowd cheers)" "Thank you." "(cheering is cut abruptly)" "(guitar intro)" "# Ain't it a shame to go fishing on a Sunday" "# Ain't it a shame?" "# Ain't it a shame to go fishing on a Sunday" "# Ain't it a shame?" "# Ain't it a shame to go fishing on a Sunday" "Wednesday" "Saturday" "# Ain't it a shame?" "# Ain't it a shame to have a drink on a Sunday" "# Ain't it a shame?" "# Ain't it a shame to have a drink on a Sunday" "# Ain't it a shame?" "# Ain't it a shame to have a drink on Sunday" "Wednesday" "Saturday" "# Ain't it a shame?" "# Ain't it a shame?" "# Ain't it a shame?" "# Ain't it a shame?" "# Ain't it a shame?" "# Ain't it a shame?" "shame!" "(guitar intro)" "# Load up on guns" "# Bring your friends" "# It's fun to lose and to pretend" "# She's over-bored and self-assured" "I know a dirty word how low?" "how low?" "how low?" "hello" "# With the lights out" "# It's less dangerous" "# Here we are now" "# Entertain us" "# I feel stupid" "# And contagious" "# Here we are now" "# Entertain us" "# A mulatto" "# An albino" "# A mosquito yeah!" "# Hell" "# Hell" "# With the lights out" "# It's less dangerous" "# Here we are now" "# Entertain us" "# I feel stupid" "# And contagious" "# Here we are now" "# Entertain us" "# A mulatto" "# An albino" "# A mosquito" "# My libido" "# A denial" " (instruments fade) - # A denial" "# A denial" "# A denial" "# A denial" "# A denial" "# A denial" "# A denial" "# A denial"