" Hey, Trevor." " Morning, Sam." " So, last day." "Got any big plans?" " Unemployment again." " Trevor." " Dean." "Nice bike." " Damn right." "Morning, Sam." " Morning, Ralph." " Do you know how many people think that that's my real name because you and that stupid cartoon?" " Yeah, I know, funny isn't it?" "So what's up with the rainbow roadmaster?" " Oh, you mean this beauty." "Car didn't start." " Where did you get it?" "You don't have a sister." " What are you talkin' about?" "This is my old bike." " You do know that's a girl's bike, right?" " My grandmother gave me this bike." "It's comfortable, and it doesn't have a bar to rack yourself on." " Because it's a girl's bike." "You better hope nateva doesn't see you on that thing." " Dude." "Chicks dig the roadmaster." " I guess you can add her to your never got list then." " You know what?" "We've got 10 more hours in this place, and I can guarantee you that I'm gonna be ordering a lunch special." " I still can't believe old man millhouse put so much money into this place just to sell it." " That's technology for you." "The copy machine is walking off into the distance, just like caine in kung fu." " Dean!" "Was it the music again?" " Yeah." "It was very powerful." " So everything is discounted today." "I put price sheets next to the registers." " You know what?" "This sucks." "What am I gonna do tomorrow?" " You've known the store was closing for months." " Hey, guys." " Hey, Sara." " Mornin'." " Holy shit!" "Is that a rainbow roadmaster?" " Yes it is." " I used to have one of these when I was a little girl." " Of course she did." "What little girl didn't?" " Whatever." "Let me just take that back." " So what do you want me to do first?" " If you could start on the inventory in the back, that'd be great." " Okay." " Thank you." "Dean, keep an eye on the front." "I got some stuff to do in the office." " Okay." "Welcome to copycat, how can I help you?" " Hey yo, Dean." "What up, dog?" " Hey, Corey." "Hey, Cory." " It's our sketch of our next tattoo, man." " Oh, de plane, de plane!" "Fantasy island?" "Mr. roarke?" "The little guy?" " That's our band logo." " So you guys are in a band?" " Hell yeah." " Yeah man, we rock the fuckin' mic." " We are the band." " You got a cd I can check out?" " A cd?" "Man, we got somethin' better." " Yo, I get up and I get on down." "I grab the microphone and yell my shit out loud." " This is c2!" " And while we're rappin'." " We'd like to thank you." " For staying' off our dick." " Well I'm c to the o to the r to the e to the y." "Ladies love me 'cause they know I'm fly." "While you're nothin' but a punk tryin' to sell me that dump-ass weed, so a kick in the ass is what you all need." "If we're in a battle, I'm gonna make you my slave and then give you a shovel so you can dig a grave." "Leave behind all your fame and wealth and then give you a rhyme so you can bury yourself." " Just when ya thought that i was your best friend," "I went over to your girl's house to get some trim." "She was lovin', I was lickin'." " The clock was ticking'." " And I was stickin' it in!" " We're like the power in the sun that shines in the sky." " We're the only emcees that will never die!" " So that's it, you need to quit 'cause I'm much too slick." "Next to me, boy, you ain't nuttin' but shit." " Respect, Casper." " That's right." " It's pretty wicked, huh?" " I don't know what to say." " Hey yo, Dean, so what's up man?" "You got any ink?" " Actually, I do." " No way!" "Is that a Mercury?" "Yo, my momma drives one of those, man." " It's thundercats." " Thunder-what?" " What?" " Lion-o?" "Panthro?" "Cheetara?" " Huh?" " Really?" " Hey yo, man, check these out." " You guys got matching tattoos." " Loyalty." " Respect." " Yeah." " Cock." "Balls." " Hey yo, man." "You better watch your mouth before I bust it, white boy." " Why you say that shit, man?" " Cock, and that says balls." " Man, yo that's bullshit, man." " You believe everything you read on Wikipedia, cracka?" " Yeah." " First of all, my mom teaches Chinese at the university." "Secondly, I've seen every episode of kung fu at least three times and finally, I've seen enough Chinese porn in my life to know that that says cock, and that says balls." " Man, we gonna go bust a cap in that motherfucker inker's ass, man." " Respect, motherfucker." " Yeay, yeay!" " Bye-bye, now!" "Me love you long time!" "Douche-bags." " What's up with the two coreys?" " Our young friends have discovered that they have male genitalia permanently engraved in their arms." "So where's Sara?" " She's in the back cleaning out the file cabinets." " In the back." "Cleaning out the filing cabinets." "Really." "Dude." " Hey, lyssa." " Hey, guys!" "Last day, huh?" " Yeah." "Hard to believe, no more copy shop." " So, what's your next move in this journey we call life?" " I've got a few irons on the fire." "I'm sure one of them will pan out." " Well I guess I should start breaking the machines down?" " Yeah, yeah I've got a ton of paperwork." " Where do you want me to start?" " Oh, uh..." "You could start, uh, with the ones in the back, that'd be great." " No problem." "The back it is." " Oh, the back it is." " Shut up, Dean." " Talk about never got." " Get back to work." " What work?" " Dean." " Dean." " Hello Bob, Dexter." "Did you two spend the night together last night?" " No way, man." " I mean, we all know that Bob bats for the other team, but jeez, Dex, I thought you were on our team." " I like girls." "I have a girl friend." " Well back up, you have a girlfriend." "How come we've never seen this girlfriend?" " Technically, I haven't met her yet myself." " How could you be with girlfriend if you haven't met?" " We met in an online gaming forum, and recently decided to take it to the next level." " And what's the next level?" " Cam chat." " What is uh, this cam chat?" " Bob, you need to stop livin' in the 80s." " Who's living in the 80s?" "Seriously!" "What is cam chat?" " Joe." "Joe!" " Mornin', Dean." " Don't morning' me." "What the hell are you doin' here?" " Trevor let me in." "Had to download a brown load." "He must have forgot i was in here and I must have fell asleep." " I think you missed." " I don't think that's mine." " I think it is." " Yep." "It's mine." " Just clean your shit up and get out of here." "What are we lookin' at?" " The light." " Why are we lookin' at the light?" " I have to sneeze." " Oh." "You have achoo syndrome." " That sounds made up." " No it's not." "It's a genetic autosomal dominant disorder that results in uncontrollable sneezing in response to numerous stimuli such as looking at bright lights." "It affects 18 to 35% of the population." " Really?" " Really." "You my friend, are a sense-sneezer." "See?" " Snot alert!" "Snot alert!" "Snot alert!" " She had to come back one more time, didn't she?" " Well who's gonna help her?" " I got her last time and Bob called it." " So that leaves you, my friend." " Fine, I'll do it." "Hello, Mrs. Moore, how are you today?" " Hi." "I've seen better days, Dexter." "I don't know where I'm gonna get my church bulletins made now that you're goin' and closing' up shop on me." " Well, I had nothin' to do with this place closing." "What can I do for you today?" " Give me 75 on that pink color you got." " Sure." "It'll just be a few minutes." " Dexter." "Dexter!" "Dexter!" "Hey, Dex!" " I don't think he can hear you." "Why don't you go show him?" "Well hello, Mrs. Moore!" "How are you today?" " Hi, Bob, do you know, i didn't see you guys back there!" " Dean was just showing us his new impression." "It's very good." "Would you like to see it?" " Why certainly!" " I'm sure Mrs. Moore has more important things to do!" " Oh no, Dean, I'd love to see it." "Show me what you got." " Ah, here we go, Mrs. Moore." "75 copies on pink and since it's your last time here, this one's on us." " Aw, Dexter." "Thank you." "I don't know where I'm gonna find service like this in another copy shop." " Thank you." "Please don't come again!" " Bye!" " I'm gonna take my break." " What the hell?" " Get your damn hands off of me." " Hey, Dean." "Do you wanna help me with the trash?" " How can I turn that down?" "So did you hear about that chupacabra up by denton?" " No, what happened?" " Remember that one they found out by the county?" " Yeah, I remember that." " Well they found another one up by denton but they're not sure if it's a Mexican hairless, a coyote or the real thing." " Well did they find any mutilated livestock?" " I think they found a goat." " Oh, a goat-sucker." "Well maybe it was bigfoot." " Well they are both aliens." " What?" " I told you this once before, did you misremember?" " Please, refresh my memory." " Okay, so you know at night, when people see all these lights floating' around?" "Those are ufos." " And what has that have to do with chupacabra or bigfoot?" " Ufos go all around the world and drop it all over the place." " It." " Yeah, it." "Chupacabra and bigfoot are the same thing." " They're not the same thing, all right?" "Bigfoot is like, eight-feet-tall and covered with hair." "Chupacabras are these little bald things with wings, get up to like four-feet Max." " Hello?" "Shape-shifters." " That's silly." "They're two completely different creatures." " Not according to my sources." " And who are your sources?" " I'm not at Liberty to say." " And why is that?" " 'Cause they're listening!" " Your sources?" " No, the government." " Wow, Dean, you and your theories." "You know, you are really one of a kind." " Lyssa says the same thing." " Oh, kick a guy while he's down, huh?" "I see how you are." " Just tryin' to motivate you." " Yeah well, you should use those skills on you and nateva, and leave me and lyssa out of it." " Thank you, have a good day." "Bob." " What's up?" " Isn't that Marissa Parkinson?" " It's the cougar life Marissa Parkinson?" " Yes, over there, looking at the paper sample." " Holy crap!" "It is, and those are her sisters Savannah and Miranda." "They made a few appearances during season one." "God, I love that show!" " I never would have pegged you as a fan." " Are you kidding?" "A bunch of cougars chasing around younger guys?" "It's a total train wreck." "I love it!" " Hey, hey, hey, hey." "Here they come, here they come, here they come." " Be cool, sister." " Hi, y'all." " Oh my god, the Parkinson ladies?" "I love your show." " Aw, thank you, that's so sweet!" " Oh honey, I think he was talkin' to me." " No way, he was talkin' to me." " Oh, please." "You put these two in a couple of episodes and all of a sudden they're the stars." " Had it not been for me, we wouldn't have had a show." " Well, I get the most fan mail." " Oh, why?" " So what can we help you with?" " Well I really just came in here to get some paper." "And maybe somethin' else too." " Oh, looks like somebody's radar is goin' off." " Mm, look at that." "Hm." " Are you on the prowl?" " Honey, I'm always on the prowl." " That's my sis!" " I want in on this." " This is so cool watching you guys in action." " You know," "I'm startin' to think they may be a little young for me." " Sweetie, there's no such thing as too young." " If there's grass on the field, play ball!" " I tell you what, if you guys take a picture with me, the paper's on the house." " Oh, absolutely." " Say..." "Paneer." " Paneer!" " Thank you guys so much for the picture." " Well thank you for the paper." " Y'all take care!" " Bye." " Was that..." " Marissa Parkinson." " Cool." "Well here's you guys' lunches." " Thanks, nat." " So, are you gonna be singing at the clam shell this weekend?" " But of course." "There's another 80s karaoke night." "I've got something very special planned." "But I hope Chad doesn't show." " Why do you worry so much about him?" "He's such a tool." " Yeah, well." "That tool likes to steal my thunder." "You going to be able to make it?" " Of course!" "I wouldn't miss it for the world." "Well, enjoy your wieners." " You too." " You have no idea how long I've been waitin' for this." " Come here, you." " What the fuck!" "Why the fuck do you have a dick?" " I thought you knew." " How the hell would I know that?" " I thought Bob told you." " Oh no, I'm gonna be sick." " Hey, Dean!" "I win!" " Dean?" "Office, now." " Somebody's in trouble." "Nana miden!" " Hi, Nana." " Hey, Joe." " What brings you by?" " That dumb-ass kid forgot his lunch again." " Dexter, Nana's here." " I swear, if he put as much effort into his schooling as he does those damn dolls, he might just make somethin' of himself." " They're action-figures, Nana." "How many times have i told you that?" "What are you doin' here?" " You forgot your lunch, you ungrateful little shit." "Don't just stand there with that stupid look on your face." "What do you say?" " Thank you, Nana." " And don't forget, tonight's bath night." "You're up." " Bye, Nana." " Bye, Joe." " Bath night?" " Scrub that bunion, you little shit!" " Don't ask." " So she had an actual dick?" " Yeah, she not only had a dick but I'm actually feeling a little bit inadequate right now." " So she had a moderate-sized dick." " No!" "She had a big dick and it was kind of orange." " Like, oompa-loompa orange?" " Exactly." " Maybe it's all that tanning spray she uses." " Why would she use tanning spray on her junk?" " Maybe she ran out of lube." "I win!" " Lyssa wants to know if she can start breaking down the color copier." " Tell her to make that the last machine she breaks down." " Okay." " And I know it probably doesn't matter now but I found" "Joe in the bathroom again this morning." " Again?" " Yeah." "And I think he's got a mild case of coprophagia." " What the fuck is that?" " Coprophagia is a habit of mammals that eat poo." "Okay?" "So most mammals eat poo as a habit of..." " wait wait wait." "You're saying that Joe eats shit?" " You got it." " That's fucking gross." " Yeah, you didn't have to see it." " All right, that's enough about poo." "Turn out the troops." "I have something i wanna say to everyone." " Okie-dokie!" " Okay guys, thanks for coming back here." "I know we've got a lot to do today so I'll keep this short." " Sorry, I had to take a dump." " Real nice, Dean." " What?" " All right, all right." "Who's watching the front?" " Joe's got it." " I got it!" " Good enough for me." "Okay, I just wanted to let you guys know how much I've enjoyed working with you, how much I appreciate the efforts that each of you have put into the store." "You guys aren't just employees to me." "You're my friends, and my family." "I'm going to miss working with all of you." " Are you, uh, crying?" " No." " You are." "You are crying!" "Everybody, look at the baby." " I have severe allergies and there's a lot of toner dust in the air from lyssa breaking down the machines." " I haven't even gotten to the toner cartridges yet, you baby." " Here, here." "Have a tissue." " All right, leave him alone." "So, what's everybody got planned after today?" " Plans for what?" " For work, you moron." " Plans are for pussies." "I live one day at a time." " So you're gonna be a bum like Joe." " I can hear you!" " He can hear you." " Uh, Dex, what have you got goin' on?" " Uh I'm gonna go work for my dad." " Doesn't your dad work for Lester construction?" " But but, they don't let cry-babies carry hammers." " Well I can't be a bum like Dean and Joe." " I can still hear you!" " He can still hear you." " What about you, Bob?" " What about Bob?" "Unlike the rest of you nincompoops," "I knew this day was going to come." "We couldn't work at this little copy shop forever." "I've been working double shifts and holidays just to save money for the future." "You, you Americans, you spend, spend, spend!" "Buying ridiculous things you have no use for." "Where I come from, we place great value on securing our futures." " You're from New Jersey." " I'm from south Jersey." " You still haven't told us what you're doing." " I'm opening my own karaoke bar." " Seriously?" " Yes, seriously!" "The Bob mahal." "Eh?" "Coming soon." " The Bob mahal." " Are you hiring?" " Sorry uh, the Bob mahal does not hire cry-babies." " Sara?" " I'm moving to Austin and going to nursing school this fall." "Gonna move in with my grandparents and help take care of 'em." " A nurse, huh?" " You're picturing me in a nurse's uniform, aren't you?" " Yes I am." " You're such a pig." "That's one thing I'm not gonna miss about this place." "See?" "That's exactly what I'm talking about." " What about you, lyssa?" " What about me what?" " What are you gonna do?" " I don't work here!" " You don't?" " Idiot!" " So, Sam, what about you?" " I'll get it!" " All right, everybody back to work." " Excuse me." "Excuse me!" " Oh, shit!" "Hold on, just..." "I need you to take this customer out front." " Can't you see I'm busy?" " Can you please take this customer?" " What the hell is wrong with you?" " Little people creep me out." " Are you serious?" " I can't, I can't deal with those little stubby fingers and those short, fat legs and the way they run all bull-legged." " Dude?" "You have issues." " Yeah." " Don't worry, I'll help the little fellow out." " Can I get some help here, please?" " Can I help you, sir?" " Where's the other tall?" " You creep him out." " Fag!" " No, we don't want him." " What kind of place is this?" "A bunch of freaks?" " Thank you, sir!" "Have a nice day." "There goes a cool rider." " So Dex, did you catch last night's human dead?" " Of course." "I'm not gonna miss the best zombie show on television." " It's the only zombie show on television." " That's irrelevant." " Okay, so what would you do?" " Do about what?" " What would you do if there was a zombie apocalypse?" " Give me a second." " What the hell?" " Huh?" "Huh." " Again with the zombies." " Okay, what the hell's wrong with you?" "Don't you know it's rude to walk away when somebody's trying to talk to you?" "What is this?" " What is this?" "This is only the single-most important piece of literature detailing how to survive the zombie apocalypse." " Okay, that's actually kind of cool." " Cool?" "It's more than cool." "This is an essential part of one's existence once it all goes down." " Once what goes down?" " Hell..." "On earth." " Okay." " Dean, let me show you my plan." "Pay attention." "This info could save your ass." "First thing, know thy enemy." "No one really knows for sure what will trigger the event." "Some say the government is already working on a process to reanimate the dead." " Why would they do that?" " They're the perfect soldiers." "They don't complain, they don't sleep, take bathroom breaks." "All they do is feed, thus adding new soldiers as they go." " That actually makes a lot of sense." "What else you got?" " Others say it will be viral." " Like, bird flu?" " Exactly." "Only a million-times-worse." "There have already been reported cases of this." " Where?" "Where?" " It's an archipelago off the southernmost tip of south America." " Why hasn't anybody heard about this?" " People have heard of it, Dean." "People in the know." " People like you?" " Yeah like me, and the other members of the bureau of zombie operations." "I'm uh, not only a member, I'm also the president." " You realize that your acronym is bozo?" " Would you please take this seriously?" " Fuckin-a." " The last theory is a religious one." "The great George a." "Romero said it best." "When there's no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth." " Well now that makes sense." " Exactly." "Regardless of how they get here, you need to be prepared." "This is way bigger than red dawn." " You have weapons?" "Wait." "Katanas, samurai swords, machetes," "double-barreled shotguns, gatling gun?" " Of course." "One must be prepared." "Here, check it out." " Dude, you seriously need help." " No, Dean, you need help." "Good thing I'm here, or you would surely meet your doom." " Meet my doom?" "Who says that?" " Uh, me." "And everybody else in the bureau." " You and all the bozos?" "So when all this goes down, you're just gonna haul up in your parents' house with all of this stuff?" " Don't be ridiculous, i have a plan." " What's your plan?" " Here's my home base." " That's your parents' house." " Yes, my parents' house." "When the event happens," "I'll know my exact route, rest and supply points." " Okay and where is it at?" " The astrodome." " Why the astrodome?" " It's the perfect place." "It's vacant." "I can seal off all the entrances." "Plus there's uh, plenty of room." " Room for what?" " Well, somebody has to uh, rebuild mankind." " Oh, Dexter." "You realize that you're gonna need a girl for that." " Oh, Dean I'm well aware of that." "Gertrude knows the location." " Who's gertrude, your Nana?" " No, gertrude, my girlfriend." "We talked about her this morning, remember?" " Oh that's right, gertrude, your girlfriend." " Yes, she is my girlfriend, and unlike yours, she doesn't have a penis." " Good one." " Shut up, Joe." " Hey uh, Sara, did Dexter ever tell you about his clown posse?" " Yes, I know." "Astrodome, rebuilding civilization, the bozos." " Bozos." "How could I have missed that?" " What the hell happened to you two?" " Tattoo guy kicked your ass, didn't he?" " White boy, please." "Yo, wang chung." "Get your ass out here, man." " Why did you put that shit on our arms?" " We said loyalty and respect!" " Not cock and balls!" " Man, we're gonna bust your ass, old man." " Think it's time for you to meet your doom, homie." " You okay?" "I'll be right back." "Hoo-ya!" "Woo-ya!" "Hoo!" " Everything okay?" " No problem." "Now, where were we?" " Naw, we kicked his ass." " B-o-z-o style." " Oh my god, they're multiplying." "What the hell do you guys want?" " We're here to see master d." " Who?" " Master d, dopey." " Who the hell is master d?" " Gentlemen." " You gotta be kiddin' me." " Here's your agenda for this week's meeting." "Your mystery is in there as well." " Thank you, master." " Thank you." " What just happened?" " I think we just witnessed the preparations of the official bozo assembly." "Shall we play a game?" " I don't know how to play." " All right, it's simple." "Basically you kick off and then you try to get the football over to the other opponent's side to where it's hangin' off just like that." "And you try to do that in four-or-less pushes." " How come I only get four pushes?" " How many downs do you get in football?" " I don't know." " Four." "You get four downs in football." "If you get it over to the other side then you get a touchdown then you can kick it off for the extra point." " What happens if it falls off the table?" " Then you turn it over to your opponent, which is me, and you kick off." " This kick game is stupid." "I don't see how you guys play this all the time." "Welcome to copycat, can I help you?" "Welcome to copycat, can I help you?" "Welcome to copycat, can I help you?" "Do you speak English!" "?" " I don't think he's deaf." "I don't think he speaks English." "Hey Bob, can you come out here for a second?" " What's up?" " This guy doesn't speak English." "I think he only speaks Spanish." " Good for him." " Okay, we need you to translate." " Do I look Mexican to you?" " Yes." " Fucking Indian, you moron!" " Woo woo woo woo woo woo..." " not that kind!" " I heard immigration." "Maybe he's getting deported." " Is anybody back there who speaks Spanish?" " I speak Mexican." " Have at it, Joe." " What-o do you need-o?" " This is great." " El immigration officer?" "Not here-o." "Copy shop-o." " Buttholes." " He just called you guys buttholes." " Have a nice day, sir!" " Oh look, Sara, sign language." "Maybe he is deaf." " Sara, could you send Dean back to my office, please?" "Were you lurking outside my office?" " Uh, yeah." " Come in." "I wanna run something by you." " Wait a minute, am I getting fired?" " Yes Dean, I am firing you on the last day." " That's not cool." "Are you just trying to make sure that I don't get unemployment?" " No." "Dean, you're not getting fired." " Well then, what?" " I'm gonna do it." " It?" "The it?" " Well, if your it's the same as my it, then yes." " Wait, are we talkin' about you asking lyssa out?" " Yes, Dean." "You can be a bit slow at times." " Okay, it's taken you four years to get the waywoos to ask her out and you're callin' me slow?" "So what you gonna say?" " Not a clue." "Think I'm just gonna play it by ear." " Yeah 'cause that's just worked so well for you." "Again, four years?" "Let me help you out." "Here's what you do." " Hey, lyssa." " Hey!" " How's the, uh, machine breakdown situation going?" " Uh, it's going good." "I've got this one, the one by the door, and then the color copier." " Okay, sounds good." " Yeah." "Is there something else you wanted to ask me?" " Uh..." "Nope!" " So how'd it go?" " Went okay." " You chickened out, didn't you?" " I was standin' there," "I was gonna say exactly what you said." "She leaned over the machine," "I saw cleavage," "I started to sweat..." " and then you ran away." " I think she caught me lookin'." " So?" "She catches me all the time." "I think she likes it." " Maybe it's just not meant to be." " Bullshit." "Look, life is what you make it." "And right now, all you're makin' is a lot of lonely nights with a dirty sock and a jar of vaseline." " Where do you get this stuff?" "Look, I'm not like you, all right?" "I'm not a free-spirit." "I can't just run around and do and say whatever I happen to be thinking." " Why not?" " I don't know!" "I just can't." " It's your fear of rejection, isn't it?" " What?" " You have an obvious case of kakorrhaphiophobia." " What the hell is that?" " Kakorrhaphiophobia is an irrational fear of rejection and defeat and you have all the signs." " What signs?" " Sweating, hand tremors, shortness of breath." " Where do you get your information from?" " Depends." "Sometimes, uh, for general knowledge, Wikipedia, for womanly knowledge, chickipedia." " And just where did you get that apple?" " It was on your desk." " I found that while i cleaning out my desk." "There is no telling how long it's been down there." " It's delicious." " Somebody's off their game today." " I'm just exhausted." " Another late night at the karaoke bar?" " No." "Late night on my couch." "Grease 2 was on again last night." " What is your deal with that movie?" "It wasn't that great." " Not great?" "Not great?" "Unlike teen wolf 2, it blew away the original!" " How can you say that?" " Easy." "Two words." "Michelle pfeiffer." " Okay." "Okay, but Adrian zmed is no John Travolta." " John Travolta is a fag." "Plus, he's into that scientology bullshit." " Okay I'll give you the scientology, but John Travolta's awesome, I mean, urban cowboy, Saturday night fever, Pulp Fiction." " Staying alive, look who's talking 2, battlefield earth." " Fair enough." "But unless you can give me some legitimate reasons, there is no way I'm gonna believe that grease 2 was better than grease." " Motorcycles." "Everybody knows, all cool gangs like motorcycles." " Like the little devils." " Exactly." "How do you know about little devils?" " I've seen them around town." "What else you got?" " Luau, grease 2 had a luau." "Not a carnival." "Carnivals are for children." "Not." "Cool." "Plus uh, Michelle pfeiffer." " You already said that." " It deserves to be mentioned twice." " Grease 2 again." " Yeah, apparently so." " You guys are just haters." "Every Tuesday night at the Bob mahal will be grease 2 night." " That sounds like a blast, to the face." " What the hell?" "Who keeps touching my shit?" " Nobody touched your stuff." " Someone has clearly disrupted my battle of zunan scene." " How can..." " Sam, Sam, Sam." "Please, don't get him started on this." " How can you tell if someone's been messin' with it?" " How do I know." "How do I know?" "This is how I know." "This is lord eddlemore of zunan." "He is the lord of the second house of zunan." "There is no way that in a battle of such importance, the lord of the second house would be clearly placed behind the lord of the third house." "Not only is this not allowed, it would bring shame on eddlemore's family for generations." "Could it be any more obvious?" " But..." "What if lord eddlemore were injured, and the third house was moving forward to protect him?" " Well that's actually interesting that you say that because in those..." "Wait a minute, you're just makin' fun of me." " So Dex, you and your friends, uh, recreate this stuff at your comic book conventions?" " I told you, I don't go to those things." "Those things are for dorks." "Hey, Sam." "It's Dexter." "Yeah." "I wanted to let you know Nana's sick, and I'm gonna have to take care of her, my parents are out of town." "What?" "No no no, I told you, i don't go to those things." "Those things are for dorks." "Okay." "All right." "Bye." "I am..." "Way too cool for those." " Hey, lyssa, how's it goin'?" " Hey, it's goin' okay." " I'm gonna miss you coming around here." "I mean, I know you don't work here but, it's been nice to have another girl to talk to with all this testosterone." " Yeah." "I don't know how you do it." "So, what's the deal with you and Dexter?" " What do you mean?" " It's obvious." "I've seen the way he looks at you." "He likes you." " We're just coworkers." "Besides, I don't think i could measure up to gertrude." "She sounds pretty hot." " Let me tell you this." "There is no gertrude." " How do you know that?" " Trust me, if he really had a girlfriend and she was as hot as he says she is, you'd have seen her by now." "Boys, they like to show off their trophies when they get them." "You know, you shouldn't sell yourself short." " That's easy for you to say." "You're smart, you're pretty, you're in great shape." " I could say the same thing about you." " Yeah, right." " Seriously, if we just did something with your hair and tightened up your wardrobe a little bit, I'm sure underneath those baggy clothes you've got a rockin' body." " You gonna make out?" "This is my last dollar." " This costs a lot more than a dollar." " I'll be back." "Sign." "Marker." " So what about you and Sam?" " There is no me and Sam." " How often do you come out here on service calls?" " I don't know." "Two, three times a week?" "You guys are really hard on these machines." " Did it ever occur to you that maybe someone is being intentionally hard on the machines?" " Come to think of it," "I can't ever recall having to work this hard on a set of machines." " So?" " So, well, he is kinda cute." " You gonna talk to him?" " I don't know." "We'll see." " Well uh, seeing how it's the last day, you wanna help me screw with Dean?" " Absolutely." "What do you have in mind?" " Meet me in the back." " Well, well, well." "If it isn't Bob." " What the hell do you want, Chad?" " I'm here to challenge you to a duel!" " Are you sure you want to do this?" " This has been going for a long time." "The stage isn't big enough for the both of us!" " You have no idea what you're getting yourself into." "I'm a four-time 80s night karaoke champ!" " Well it's time for a change." "And I'm the one who's gonna bring you down." "I've got the eye of the tiger!" " Is this really happening?" " I hope so, 'cause this is awesome." " When and where?" " Next Thursday, 8pm." " What is wrong with tonight?" "You and your girls, chicken?" " I'd love to!" "But the shell's closed!" " I can make a call." " Are we prepared with material?" " I'm always prepared." " What about your voice?" "Don't you need time to prep?" " I keep my throat well-lubricated at all times." " You keep your throat well-lubricated?" " Of course I do." "Karaoke's my life." "Let's do this." "Team Chad on three." "One, two, three." " Team Chad!" " It's on, like donkey Kong." " Eight o'clock." "Tonight." "The shell." " Oh and Bob?" "Make sure you bring your friends." "I wanna make sure they see you lose." " You're starting to make Bob angry." "You wouldn't like Bob when he's angry." " I'm shakin' in my boots." " That dude's a douche-bag." "You better whip his ass tonight." " I pity the fool." " Dean." "I have to help lyssa with something." "Can you run off 500 copies of this on plain-white guard stock?" " Whatever." " I just got off the phone." "The clam shell is open for business." "Oh, um." "Were you going to invite your girlfriend, or would you like me to?" " Oh, that's very funny." "Now, why don't you uh, be a peach and run me off 500 copies of this on plain 5w?" " Hey, you're not the boss of me." "Why can't you do it?" " Come on, I gotta take a dump." "Help me out." " I've got to take a dump." "Whatever." "Taking dump." "What the hell?" "Help!" "Help, help!" "Machine, machine, help!" "Help!" " What's going on in here?" "What are you two buffoons doing?" " I don't know what happened, I," "I hit the start button and the papers, they started shooting everywhere." " I had nothing to do with it, I was just trying to help." " Sounds like you two got played." "Clean this mess up." " Played?" " Dexter, customer!" " Sorry." "Welcome to copycat, can I help you?" " Dexter?" "That's um, quite a striking name." " Uh..." "Thank you." "What can I help you with?" " I'm looking for some guidance." " Okay?" " Got a series of photos I'd like you to take a look at." "I need to get 'em bound." " Okay, well, we have three types of bindings." "Comb, coil and velo." " What do you recommend?" " Uh, I would recommend the comb." "It's the cheapest, easiest way to go." "What did you wanna have bound?" " Here they are." " Uh..." "Are you a cop?" " No, I'm just a fan." " Okay." "I'll be right back." " All right." " Hey, what are you doing?" " Some creepy guy asked me to bind his photos." " Let me see that." "Oh, no no no no no." "These are not real, they're..." "You know, they put these on the face plates with the kitty cat and the school bus, says I love you, have a great day?" " Yeah, no no." "Trust me if you saw the guy that gave 'em to me, you'd believe they were real." " Huh." "You know I can help you with that." " Oh yeah?" " I'm very good with the numbers." " Well of course you are, you're Indian." " Oh, yes, thank you." "Have fun with manson." " Here is, uh..." "Here is your..." "Here is your binding, sir." " Hey, those look good." "Think I'll let you live." " How much do I owe you?" "Oh, no, I can't take your money." "After all, you did let me live." "Hey." " Hey." "Did you finish up with creepy guy?" " Yep." "He said he would let me live." "What you doin'?" " Just workin' on my poetry." " Oh, I didn't know you were a poet." " Oh, I've been writin' since I was a little girl." "I have hundreds of these journals." "My mom's always sayin' i should rent a storage shed but" "I think she just wants more room for nutcracker collection." " Ouch." "Remind me not to mess with her." " Why?" " Never mind." "You uh, have you ever had any of your work published?" " Mm, no but I'm thinking about putting some of my best poems in a collection." " Oh, I'd love to read some of your work sometime." " Well once a month i do a reading at the coffee shop on the corner." "You should stop by sometime." " You, uh..." "You mean like a..." "Like a date?" " What about gertrude?" " Hm?" " Gertrude?" "Your girlfriend?" " Oh!" "Gertrude and I have kind of an open relationship." " There is no gertrude, is there?" " No." " Then what was with that big story this morning?" " You know how Dean can be." " You really shouldn't care what Dean thinks." "He lives in his parents' basement, for god's sakes." " Uh, so do I." " That's besides the point." "The last person you should be seeking approval or advice from is Dean." "Besides, you have way more going for you than he does." " You really think so?" " Yeah, I do!" "I mean, you heard him, he's known for six months this place was closing, and he has no clue what he's gonna do or where he's gonna go and his girlfriend has a penis." " You know, you're right." "Screw Dean." " Of course I'm right." "Besides, I don't see Dean leading the zombie revolution." " The event." "Uh, Sara!" "Uh, are you..." "Are you goin' tonight?" " I was thinkin' about it." " Oh, well, you should." "I mean, it's gonna be great, you can..." "You can't miss the duel." "I'll buy you a drink." " Okay." "It's a date." " Date." " Dean, did you hear that picture pulp is gonna start having horror nights once a week?" " Oh really?" "What kind?" " Your kind." "First week is the omen and the exorcist, back to back." " The exorcist?" "Sweet!" "I about shit my pants the first time I saw that." " Can't say that that surprises me." "It is the scariest film of all time." " Okay, scary?" "Yes." "Scariest?" "I don't think so." " What's scarier than the exorcist?" " Lots." "You've got amityville horror, the shining, nightmare on elm street." "Do you want more?" " Okay." "Amityville and the shining I'll give you." "They're both possible and realistic." "But nightmare on elm street, I don't think so." " What's wrong with nightmare?" " Nothing's wrong with nightmare, I just," "I don't think it's one of the scariest of all time." "I mean, all the scariest horror movies are made in the 70s." " Okay, I will give you that." "The scariest movie of all time was made in the 1970s." " Texas chainsaw massacre?" " Great film, but no." "John carpenter's Halloween." " Why Halloween?" " John carpenter revolutionized the slasher genre." "Or as some people say, genera." " I beg to differ." "Hitchcock revolutionized the slasher genre." " What the hell are you talkin' about?" " Norman bates was the original slasher, and he didn't have to hide behind a mask." " Yeah but he was a cross-dresser." "John carpenter was the master of building suspense." " Hitchcock was the master of suspense." " Okay." "Of his time, I'll give you that, but he passed the torch to John carpenter." " Did you see the remakes?" " Yeah." "They were okay but, you know, not as good as the original." "And it gave you an insight to the young Michael Myers." "Plus, it was super violent." "It had boobies." " What'd you think of the remake's sequel?" " You mean, Michael Myers, a pilgrim across America?" " Yeah." "He does do quite a bit of walking in that." " Yeah." "If I wanted to see a bum walk," "I'd go watch Joe for two hours." " Where is he anyway?" " Hell if I know." " Larry!" "Long time no see." " Calm, hey." " Pretty snazzy outfit you got there." "It looks like you're goin' on a safari or somethin'." " Well actually, i just got back from one." " Where'd you go this time?" " I went to Tanzania." " Really?" "Did you see any of those little devils?" " That's tazmania, Dean." " Oh." " So how was it?" " It was quite excellent." "Except for the malaria, of course." "Well I don't have it now." " I gotta hand it to ya, Larry." "You sure do lead the life." " What was that place you went to last year?" " Oh, last year was my adventure to the galapagos islands to study the habitat of the giant tortoises." " Cool." "I read about those." "I heard they can get up to 500 pounds and have a diameter on their shell of like five feet." " That is correct." " I know my amphibians." " Reptiles." " Whatever." " So, while I enjoy turtle talk as much as the next guy, what brings you in?" " Well, father asked me to come around and fetch the final payroll receipt." " I'll go get 'em for ya." " So Larry, why does your dad wanna take away my livelihood?" " Well unfortunately, Dean, technology has made our little copy shop obsolete." "However, if you are in need of employment," "I believe I do have an opening at my tea house." "Yes that's right." "My crumpet-maker just quit." " Yeah." "I think I'll get back to you on that." " Suit yourself." " Here you go." " Thank you very much." "Gentlemen, my father thanks you, for your services over the past years." "Good day." " He always have that British accent?" " Well, folks, it looks like this is it." " I can't believe this is the end of copycat." " What?" " Just waitin' for you to start crying again." " Oh." "You can go suck your girlfriend's cock." " Nice one, grasshopper." " All right!" "Enough of this mushy goodbye mumbo-jumbo." "It's time to rock and roll!" "Dexter." "Let's ride." " Can Sara come with us?" " Of course." "But uh..." "No hanky-panky in the Bob mobile." "We'll see you there." " Well, I guess i should be going." " Yeah." "Thanks for all your help today." " Sure." " Enough of this." "What's it gonna take to get you two together?" "You like her, you like him." "You guys figure this out." "I'm gonna go take a dump." " Well, this is awkward." " What a jerk." " Is it true?" " Is what true?" " Do you like me?" " Yeah." "You're okay." " Do you like me, or do you like-me-like me?" " Why don't we just hang out and see where things go from there?" "Okay?" " Okay, that sounds good." "What are you doin' tonight?" " Wow." "You don't waste any time, do you?" " Well we're all goin' to the duel, and you always seemed like one of us, so..." "Thought you should come too." " Well, seeing you put it that way," "I'd love to." "I've gotta change and get cleaned up but," "I'll meet you there?" " Great, okay." "But you better show." "'Cause I don't wanna be stuck with Dean all night." " I can hear you!" " Yeah." "He can hear us." "You can come out now." " Now was that so hard?" " You know, Ralph, you're wise beyond your years." " Enough with the Ralph." " Okay." "Go get the roadmaster." "Put it on the truck and I'll give you a ride." " Cool." " It's been nice." "It's been real nice." " I can't believe I'm actually gonna miss that sound." " Me too." " Hey!" "Glad you guys could make it." " You know we wouldn't miss this." " Is this the actual bar?" " No." "They opened the very special karaoke room just for me." " Ladies and gentlemen, may i have you attention, please?" "In this corner, we have Chad, the Asian sensation, bradshaw!" "Bradshaw." "And in this corner, we have the reigning, four-time clam shell champion," "Bob!" "Gentlemen, join me for the coin toss." "This side will be heads." "This side will be tails." "Bob, you as champion will call it in the air." " Heads." " Heads it is!" "Bob, who will go first?" " I'm winning already." "Secret Asian man can go first." " Welcome to the thunderdome." "Let's do this!" " Your turn." "Bitch." " Woo!" " Don't forget." "Bob mahal, coming soon." " Gentlemen, please join me back up on stage." "I think it's pretty clear we have a winner." "And the winner, and still reigning champion," "Bob!" " Yeah, Bob!" " This isn't over yet!" " By the looks of it, i think it already is." "I don't think it even started." " Hey, Dean." " Hey." " I got somethin' for ya." " Haven't you given me enough already?" " Aww." "Here." " Your dick fell off." " It's fake, you idiot." " Hm." "Nice penis." "I win." " So you don't really have a dick?" " Sorry, wasn't my idea." "Everybody knew." " I can't believe he actually fell for that." " Well, he's not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed." " You'd be surprised at some of the stuff he knows." "So I was thinkin'." " Mm-hm?" " How about Friday the two of us get together for a real date?" " I'm not sure if i can go out with an unemployed copy shop manager." " Wow." "That's shallow." " I'm just teasing you." "All day long you've been avoiding the question of what are you gonna do when the shop closes." "I know you well enough to know that you've got a plan." "So spill it." "This says that you passed the bar exam." "When in the hell did you have time to go to law school?" "And why didn't you tell anyone?" " In case I didn't pass." "I was takin' classes when I could." "I knew the shop wasn't gonna last forever." " Wow." "This is amazing." "You should be really proud." " So how about a date with a lawyer instead?" " I think Friday sounds great." " And maybe breakfast in the morning?" " Don't get ahead of yourself, okay?" " Where's Sara?" " We dropped her off, she um, she had to take a dump." " That's my line." " She should have been here by now." "It's here." " I got money for boobs!" "Hello?" "I got money for boobs!" "Sara?" "Is that you?" "The event." "Master d!" "Master d!" "It's the event!" "The event is here!" "The event!" "Oh, master d!" "Master d!"