"Gee, brain," "What do you want to do tonight?" "The same thing we do every night, pinky," "Try to take over the world." "♪ they're pinky and the brain ♪" "♪ yes, pinky and the brain ♪" "♪ one is a genius" "♪ the other's insane ♪" "♪ they're laboratory mice ♪" "♪ their genes have been spliced ♪" "♪ they're dinky ♪" "♪ they're pinky and the brain ♪" "♪ brain, brain, brain" "♪ brain, brain, brain, brain, brain ♪" "♪ before each night is done ♪" "♪ their plan will be unfurled ♪" "♪ by the dawning of the sun ♪" "♪ they'll take over the world ♪" "♪ they're pinky and the brain ♪" "♪ yes, pinky and the brain ♪" "♪ their twilight campaign" "♪ is easy to explain" "♪ to prove their mousey worth ♪" "♪ they'll overthrow the earth ♪" "♪ they're dinky ♪" "♪ they're pinky and the brain ♪" "♪ brain, brain, brain" "♪ brain, brain, brain, brain ♪" "Narf!" "Captioning made possible by warner bros." "When is everybody going to float away, brain?" "[Burp]" "Never, pinky." "Our plan is a failure. [Burp]" "Then we didn't carbonate the water supply?" "[Burp]" "No, pinky." "I told you not to open that nozzle" "While it was pointed toward us." "[Burp]" "Sorry, brain." "Poit!" "[Gasps]" "Pinky, look." "Somebody's filming us." "Oh, goody!" "Maybe we'll be on" "Goof-Ups and practical jokes." "[Burp]" "Sometimes i think" "My whole life is a practical joke." "Baarp!" "Aah!" "[Thump] oof!" "Man: a scratchy piece of surveillance footage" "Triggers a bizarre new conspiracy theory" "From controversial film director gulliver sloane." "Good evening." "I'm fred flopple." "Now, mr." "Sloane," "Let me understand this" "So that i'm not putting words in your mouth." "You believe that 2 mice are doing what?" "I have uncovered evidence" "That 2 genetically altered laboratory mice" "Are attempting to take over the world." "In the course of doing research for my new movie," "I have filmed them on several occasions." "Whaa!" "Ha ha ha!" "Ha ha!" "Ah ha!" "Narf!" "Uh, ho!" "Oh, have you ever heard anything so ridiculous, brain?" "Zort!" "A mouse trying to take over the world." "Yes, i have, pinky." "Because he's talking about someone" "Near and dear to both of us." "[Gasps] mr." "Lollipop, he's talking about you." "No, pinky." "Think." "What do we do every night?" "You mean try to keep one eye open" "To see all the toys come alive at the stroke of midnight" "When they think we're asleep but we're really not?" "Narf!" "I didn't know you did that, too." "♪ oh, the teddy bears and the lollipops ♪" "♪ are having a secret picnic ♪" "Ya ha ho!" "We try to take over the world!" "Oh, right." "Zort!" "Ha." "Silly me." "I forgot." "Quiet." "I want to hear what they're saying about me." "Forgive my skepticism." "But what assurance can you give" "That this conspiracy theory of yours" "Isn't just some publicity stunt" "For promoting your next movie?" "Consider this." "What was the real reason for the watergate break-In?" "Who tipped of eisenhower about the military- Industrial complex?" "And whatever happened to joyce dewitt?" "I believe i have found the brain" "Behind all of these so-Called coincidences." "Forgive me... preposterous." "This conspiracy he links me to" "Is nothing but a web of half-Truths and innuendoes." "What kind of idiot would fall for this drivel?" "Hmm, i don't know, brain," "He does have a point about joyce dewitt." "I rest my case." "And yet, with the media watching my every move," "All of my hundreds of hours of hard work" "Will be for naught." "I'll be exposed." "Poit!" "You could wear a trench coat." "The public is swayed so easily" "By outrageous assertions." "It's as if something deep in their psyches" "Compels them to believe in these convoluted conspiracies." "Oh, too bad you don't have one of those convoluted conspiracy thingies," "Mr. Lollipop." "Then everyone would believe in you." "That's it!" "Pinky, are you pondering what i'm pondering?" "I think so, brain." "But can the gummy worms really live in peace" "With the marshmallow chicks?" "No, pinky." "I will create my own conspiracy theory." "I shall fabricate a wild and improbable story" "In order to convince the public" "That i am the victim of a hidden plot" "Whose sole purpose" "Is to prevent me from taking my rightful place" "As ruler of the world." "Yay!" "Yippee!" "Narf!" "Mr. Lollipop is happy now." "Pinky, put mr." "Lollipop down" "And get me a glue stick." "Oh, we always have to play with your friends." "Mr. Glue stick." "Blah, blah, yuckity, schmuckity." "Our subject tonight is conspiracies" "Who's behind them and who profits from them?" "Larry, it's a mystery wrapped in a riddle" "Inside a burrito." "What really happened on the grassy knoll?" "Who was responsible for polyester leisure suits?" "And why were there 2 darrins on bewitched?" "Why have we never had a satisfactory explanation?" "Why?" "I don't know!" "Why?" "Because we have never gotten to the big cheese," "The head honcho, the brain behind the conspiracy." "That's why." "Which brings us to our second guest." "[Gasps] it's him." "It's the brain." "Yes, i am the brain." "And are you behind these conspiracies to take over the world" "As mr." "Sloane suggests?" "Ahem." "No, larry," "Although i do hope someday to take over the world," "I am, in fact, the victim of a hidden conspiracy." "How's that?" "Let me show you." "Pinky, roll the tape." "Right, brain." "Troz!" "Brain: the conspiracy started in 1968" "After a mouse went to orlando and took over florida." "A group of government officials secretly got together" "And swore they'd never let another mouse" "Have that much power again." "At that time, i was a rising young civil servant" "Named harold foster brain." "My tireless efforts to solve world hunger" "By developing edible mud pies for starving orphans" "Had been noticed by my superiors." "I was well-Liked," "But there were dark forces aligned against me." "The real goal of the watergate break-In" "Was to steal my peace corps records." "Because of this fiendish conspiracy," "I was forced out of public service" "And have been reduced to earning my living as a lab mouse." "Well, that's the saddest story i ever heard." "I must say, mr." "Brain," "I find your story rather hard to swallow." "If you doubt my word," "I have concrete proof of this heinous conspiracy." "Just look for a document called the pinky protocol." "The pinky protocol?" "What's that?" "They don't want you to know." "But it is a secret government document" "Which states" "We've been cut off." "There." "Just enough information" "To tantalize the susceptible mind." "Conspirator or folk hero?" "Let's find out more." "But first, this message." "[Knock on door]" "Come on in, pinky." "We came so close this time." "Where did we go wrong, brain?" "Tonight's plan was fun-Fun, silly-Willy." "Oh, perhaps." "But we mustn't dwell on failure." "We have to get ready for tomorrow night." "Narf!" "What are we going to do tomorrow night?" "The same thing we do every night, my friend" "Try to take over the world." "Pray with me, pinky." "And that was a clip from hollywood director" "Gulliver sloane's new movie about the brain entitled" "A really, really true conspiracy story this time." "Really." "Why don't they leave that poor brain fella alone?" "But as this hot new film prepares for summer release," "Controversy is growing about the real harold foster brain," "And people are asking, what is the pinky protocol?" "You see, pinky?" "My plan is working perfectly." "Everyone is primed for the discovery of this document," "A secret executive order" "That will allow me to become acting leader of the world." "All it needs is the signature" "Of a former president of the united states." "Oh, yippee!" "Narf!" "Oh, no." "Wait." "Wait." "Um, isn't millard fillmore dead?" "Yes, pinky," "But there are other former presidents." "Oh." "Where do you get one?" "At a golf course, of course." "Come." "We shall dress as eager young caddies." "Nothing could be easier." "Announcer: welcome again to the... yes, that terror of that fairway," "Former president gerald ford," "Was at it again." "Hey, who says golf isn't a contact sport, huh?" "But practice makes perfect." "Or does it?" "Ooh!" "That's gotta hurt!" "Uh-Oh." "Whoops!" "Spa-Lash!" "Hey, hey, this caddie is all wet." "Ow-Ooch!" "Sca-Runch!" "Boy, is my face red." "That's a hole in one." "In one of the caddies, that is." "But the former president was a good sport." "He threw in a free golf club... and an autograph." "Now reel me up, pinky." "Slowly." "Poit!" "Are you sure you don't want to rest a bit?" "There's no time to rest, pinky" "Mmm!" "Now that we have this document signed." "Aaahck!" "We must place it in the national archives" "Aaars!" "So that it can be discovered." "Ow!" "Now, push open the mail slot" "And hoist me in." "Ok." "Aah!" "Hold on, brain." "Whoa!" "Nyit!" "Aah!" "Poit!" "Are you all right, brain?" "Fine, pinky." "[Struggling]" "Can i help you?" "No." "Aah." "Are you sure?" "Yes!" "Arrgh!" "Um, i could carry that, you know." "Pinky, this document proclaims me the leader of the world." "It's signed by a former president." "Do you understand, pinky?" "Let me get that for you, brain." "No." "I've come too far to entrust this document to others, pinky." "Even to you, especially to you." "I can taste it, pinky." "I am the ruler of the world." "All i have to do is sneak past this electric eye" "Aah!" "[Alarm]" "Can i get you a pillow, brain?" "In a late-Breaking development," "An attempted break-In has been foiled" "At the national archives." "We take you now live to the scene." "[Reporters murmuring]" "Reporter:" "mr." "Brain!" "Mr. Brain!" "Let me through." "Look." "It's him," "The brain." "Finally caught you red-Handed, didn't we?" "Brain: no, you've got it wrong." "I knew it!" "Them government agents got the little fella" "By the whiskers." "This is all a big misunderstanding." "Yeah?" "What are you doing here?" "Uh, they were going to destroy the pinky protocol." "Reporters: no!" "Oh!" "Yes." "So i personally risked life and limb" "To break into the national archives" "And rescue it." "And you expect us to believe that?" "!" "Mm-Hmm." "See?" "Here it is, the pinky protocol." "[Cheering]" "Huh?" "Hey!" "[Sighs] at last our troubles are over." "Don't you worry, little guy." "I'll save you from them big government fellas." "No." "We don't need to be saved." "Well, big jake's a-Gonna save you anyway," "Whether you like it or not." "[Tires screech]" "Aah!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "Hey, aren't you going after him?" "What are you doing?" "Who are you?" "!" "Are you mad?" "!" "Oh, you don't have to thank me." "This is just like when" "The black helicopters took away heshimu." "Y'all remember heshimu?" "Of course not." "They don't want you to remember." "People thought he disappeared in sumatra" "With a big gerbil." "Actually, he tried to buy" "The elephant man's skeleton." "Pinky: aah!" "Brain: aah!" "Mr. Whipple was not the tidy-Bowl man." "I'm telling you, he was not the tidy-Bowl man!" "Make it stop, brain." "Make it stop." "This guy is one green maraschino cheery shy of a fruitcake, pinky." "Let's get out of here." "Aah!" "Aah!" "Oomph!" "Ay!" "Ooh!" "[Siren]" "Waah!" "Waah!" "Narf." "I see an angel coming for us." "I see clams, big, shirtless clams." "No, brain." "Really." "[Squawk]" "Yaah!" "Yaah!" "And they say them u.F.O.'S are just pie plates." "Well, they are pie plates!" "Alien pie plates." "Aah!" "Aah!" "And whatever happened to 8-Track tapes?" "It's a conspiracy, you know?" "[Weakly] uh-Huh." "Announcer: and now... issue one-- The pinky protocol." "Today the contents of this secret document were revealed." "It states that if the president" "Ever does anything to disgrace the office," "Such as going out in public in his underwear," "He will be thrown out of office" "And harold foster brain will be appointed leader in his place." "In a related development," "We obtained this footage of the president" "At a popular fast-Food restaurant." "The president had this to say." "Hey, i was just going out for my morning jog." "Question-- Was the president in his underwear?" "I say if it looks like underwear" "And it smells like underwear, it is underwear." "The protocol is very clear on this point." "The president must go." "Eleanor, reaction." "This is so much political poppycock." "You can't just appoint a leader that no one elected." "No one elected gerald ford." "That's true." "Exit question" "Where is harold foster brain now?" "Police!" "Harold foster brain, come out with your hands up." "Officer, you're blocking my shot!" "I'm not coming out." "No way." "We do not recognize the authority" "Of your illegally constituted government!" "F.B.I. Agent:" "i promise, we will not turn you over" "To the aliens..." "nor mr." "Whipple." "Pinky, trapped by a madman." "Try not to panic." "'K." "Poit!" "Look, brain." "Magic fingers." "Aah!" "Aah!" "Oof!" "Quick!" "Put on these tinfoil hats" "So as they can't control your minds." "Ooh, narf." "Thank you." "Perhaps we're approaching this in the wrong way," "Mr., uh, big jake." "If i might go out and talk with the authorities." "No, no, your leadership." "The people need you." "That's why i have to keep you locked in here." "You see, if you go out there," "They'll get you, and you'll never be heard from again." "Why do you think elvis had to go into hiding?" "And whatever happened to joyce dewitt?" "But we can't stay here forever." "Sure, we can." "You can rule from right here." "We can print our own checks." "But what'll we eat?" "We'll starve." "I got enough spam" "To last through the turn of the century." "I've gone to heck." "As the standoff enters its 127th day," "America asks," ""Who is the real harold foster brain?"" "You want to read my manifesto, your leadership?" "Not again, jake." "More spam eggnog?" "Ecch!" "No, thank you." "Yes, please." "Television: here with some disturbing new information," "Is photo expert adam ansel." "A close examination of these photos" "Reveals that some of them have been altered." "Using the latest digital technology," "I have been able to determine" "That the real harold foster brain" "Is joyce dewitt." "Joyce dewitt?" "Huh?" "Huh?" "Huh?" "Come on, everybody." "Let's go over to joyce dewitt's house." "You lied to me!" "You're one of them!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "And give me back my hats!" "Poit." "I'll miss him." "Yes, it's not often" "You meet an intellectual peer, is it, pinky?" "Mm-Mmm." "Wait!" "Stop!" "Arrest him!" "He's the one!" "It's all over here, buddy." "Move along." "But that's him." "The brain." "The mouse that's trying to take over the world." "Sure, sure, sure." "Why don't you go make a movie about joyce dewitt?" "Hmm... television:" "ladies and gentlemen," "The new leader of the world, joyce dewitt." "[Cheering]" "That should have been me up there, pinky." "Oh, try to look on the bright side, brain." "Zort!" "At least joyce dewitt's back on television." "Hee... perhaps." "We don't have time to watch her." "We must prepare for tomorrow night." "Why, brain?" "What are we going to do tomorrow night?" "The same thing we do every night, pinky" "Try to take over the world from joyce dewitt!" "♪ they're dinky ♪" "♪ they're pinky and the brain ♪" "♪ brain, brain, brain, brain ♪" "Captioning made possible by warner bros."