"Howdy there, pardners!" "Howdy." "How you doing?" "Ah, the smell of fast food on the desert air!" "The perfume of America." "Hey, are you British or something?" "Something." "That's me." "Definitely." "I was passing and I got the fancies." "A bowl of chilli." "The sort you only ever got in an American diner before 1962." "I'm the Doctor, by the way." "I'm Cassie." "This is Jimmy Stalkingwolf." "Ooooh!" "Where did you get that?" "Supposed to be from the saucer crash five years back." "You know, like that Roswell thing over in New Mexico." "My mom, she used to run this place, thought it would bring in the tourists." "Like they don't know a piece of junk when they see it." "Ooh." "Sorry." "What did you just do, man?" "I'm afraid this isn't quite a piece of junk." "It has been activated." "Are you saying this really did come from a flying saucer?" "Well, flying saucer, maybe, they were quite fashionable in the '50s." "Bit like bobby socks and hair cream." "I told you." "I told you there was something going on round here." "What do you mean?" "Jimmy works out at the Broken K Ranch." "Says there's this space monster eating the cattle." "I told him it's a cougar." "No cougar did what I saw." "Or left those tracks." "Oh." "Oh, hullo." "I'll take the ionic fusion bar." "The come-again?" "He means your piece of junk." "No way." "It doesn't belong to you." "Not such a good idea to argue..." "Hello, I'm the Doctor." "Give it to me!" "Didn't you hear what the lady said?" "That's definitely not a good idea." "Woah!" "OK." "Time to go!" "Now, what was that about a monster?" "What kind of cougar makes a track like that?" "HEAVY STEPS BEHIND No cougar." "No animal." "This was something big, very big - something powerful." "Something that isn't from around here." "MONSTER ROARS" "Ah!" "Viperox Battle Drone!" "Hello!" "SHE SCREAMS" "Try not to do that." "Apart from being one of the most vicious killers in the cosmos, the Viperox have very sensitive ears." "Thank you." "Not a good idea to aggravate him." "Doesn't look aggravated to me, Doc." "He looks hungry." "Doctor, not Doc." "And if he was hungry he'd be picking bits of cowboy boots and bobby-socks off his mandibles by now." "So if it ain't going to eat us, what is he going to do?" "It's a Viperox Battle Drone." "What it doesn't use for food, it uses for target practice." "Look out!" "Run!" "Back to the pick-up!" "Get down!" "Howdy!" "Perfect timing." "Our orders are to take you with us." "Whose orders are those, then?" "Colonel Stark, sir." "Colonel Stark?" "!" "And who's that, then?" "Commanding officer, Operation Fallen Angel," "Groom Lake Army Air Base." "What?" "You mean Area 51?" "Dreamland?" "Oh, I've always wanted to go there." "Doctor, no!" "People that go there, civilians, they never come back." "I've heard all kinds of things about that place." "And none of it's good." "They say they've got aliens there from the Roswell crash." "I know." "I've always wanted to take a peek." "Take me to your leader." "Allons-y!" "Dreamland, the United States' most secret base." "It doesn't appear on any map and the government won't admit it exists until 1994." "What did you say?" "Erm..." "Ah, never mind." "Where are they taking us?" "I don't know." "But I don't think Colonel Stark has a penthouse apartment." "So what happens now?" "Nothing good." "Oh, come on, I thought the '50s was supposed to be a time for optimism." "I mean, you think you're going to have flying cars in another ten years." "Yeah, sure." "If the Reds don't nuke us first." "The Reds?" "Manchester United?" "Oh!" "The Russians!" "The Soviet Union." "I wouldn't worry about them." "They're as scared of a nuclear war as you are." "I hear you people had some trouble." "Ah." "Colonel Stark, I presume." "Hello, I'm the Doctor." "And I think you may have a serious infestation problem." "We have the situation in hand." "So what are you going to do about it?" "You don't have to worry, Ma'am." "Oh?" "And why's that?" "Because you're going to forget everything you've seen." "You're going to forget everything." "No Colonel..." "Colonel, you're making a mistake." "Soldiers!" "Take them to the lab." "Prepare them for the mind-wipe." "What are they going to do to us?" "From the look of this chamber, use some sort of amnesia gas." "So we forget everything about that Viperox bug-thing?" "Maybe that isn't so bad." "Trouble is, no-one really perfects a targeted amnesia drug for another 50 years." "The sort of thing Colonel Stark has in his medicine cabinet won't just wipe out the last few hours, you'll forget everything." "They can't do this!" "We're US citizens." "Yeah, Cassie, and they're the army." "They can do whatever they want." "They've been doing it ever since the Bear River Massacre." "Colonel." "Sorry I can't salute, but I seem to be strapped to a table." "The gas can have side-effects." "The straps are for your own safety." "Very thoughtful." "But have you considered that you've got dangerous ten-foot tall aliens out in the desert?" "And believe me, Colonel, where there's one Viperox, there's at least 1,000 more." "You know a great deal, Doctor." "More than is good for you." "But I'm going to fix that." "You can't do this!" "So help me, I'm going to tell the President!" "Little lady, in ten minutes you won't know who the President is." "You won't know who you are." "Try to hold your breath." "I just need a... a few more seconds." "How did you do that?" "Little trick I learned off Houdini." "Great, but we're still trapped." "I love 1958." "No-one's seen Die Hard, or Alien, or Die Hard 2, or Aliens, or Die Hard 3..." "Doc...what are you talking about?" "There's always a ventilation shaft." "Doctor, are you sure there's a way out of here?" "Of course there's a way out." "There always is." "Apart from in Star Wars, of course." "Hey, Doc." "Are you ever going to start making sense?" "Are you going to stop calling me Doc?" "I'm the Doctor, all right?" "And you're not Bugs Bunny." "Hey." "Where are we?" "Who am I, the Dreamland tour guide?" "Come on." "Why are we going that way?" "I mean, who gave you the stripes?" "You're not even American." "Come to that, I'm not even human." "ALARM RINGS" "But someone just noticed we've escaped, so whichever way you're running, I'd start now." "What now?" "That way!" "There's no way through here!" "Come on!" "Did you mean what you said back there?" "You're not human?" "Well, human, Time Lord, it's all just an accident of dimensional geography when you get down to it." "I wonder what's behind there." "Ahhh." "Now THAT is an alien." "The question is, why are they keeping her a prisoner?" "Hands in the air or we fire!" "Aaargh!" "Quickly!" "This way!" "Hold on!" "What if there are more soldiers waiting for us up top?" "Charm offensive." "What's that mean?" "It means you put your hands up and smile." "You have a problem, Colonel?" "Nothing we can't handle." "I warn you, Colonel...fail me, and your world will pay the price!" "Don't let them get away again." "And, you, keep your... soldiers off the plains, Lord Azlok." "I don't need this getting any more complicated." "Viperox are not accustomed to taking orders from lesser species, Colonel, or to their mistakes - see to it that you do not let us down." "I cannot be seeing that." "A real live flying saucer!" "Yeah." "Fancy taking her for a spin?" "Quickly!" "Come on!" "Stop!" "Or we fire!" "Don't shoot, you'll hit the ship." "Fall back!" "Fall back!" "Can you really fly this?" "Well, sort of." "Stark's scientists have retro-engineered it." "Probably based on their prisoner's ship." "They got a couple of systems the wrong way round... but we're getting there." "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Ha-ha-ha!" "Left is right and up is down." "No problem." "No problem." "Waaah!" "What did you do that time?" "Wasn't me." "We've got company!" "Hang on!" "Those red lights don't look good." "Red lights never are!" "Wonder if parachutes came as standard or an added option?" "'Target has crash-landed.'" "'Return to base.'" "Command?" "I want a team out there, on the double." "It's going to be dark soon." "And whoever the Doctor is, I want to know how he can escape in a spaceship the US Army hasn't figured out how to fly yet!" "Perhaps this Doctor is more than he appears." "Solitude?" "Well, it's certainly quiet and lonely." "Was a mining town a century back." "No-one here now but the ghosts." "Nice place, Jimmy." "Have you got a match?" "Sure." "Here." "So what's going on, Doctor?" "If the military know about these alien things, how come we're the enemy?" "I don't know." "But I intend to find out." "Tomorrow I'm going back to Dreamland." "SCUTTLING" "What was that?" "Aaargh!" "Jimmy!" "Don't make too much noise, Cassie." "Remember what I said, the Viperox have a heightened sense of hearing." "Is Jimmy going to be all right?" "If the Viperox had wanted to kill him, it would have done it back at Solitude." "What are you going to do with me, you big ugly garbage bugs?" "!" "Be careful, human." "I am Azlok," "Lord Knight of the Imperial Viperox War Horde." "Consider who seems in more danger of being crushed under foot?" "You're never going to take over Earth!" "The military will blast you into bug-bits." "What do you think the Empire of the Viperox could possibly want with this termite ball?" "Who is this man you call The Doctor?" "Oh, now, that would be me." "Ahh, Doctor." "I've got a few things I'd like to ask you, as it happens." "The most obvious being, if you're not here to invade it, what on earth are you doing here?" "You are not of this world." "I hear two hearts beating." "Then note their rhythm." "I'm not scared of you." "And whatever you're doing on Earth, I won't let you hurt its people." "We seek only an enemy of our kind." "Oh?" "And who's that, then?" "Doctor, look out!" "What did you do that for?" "It's called escaping, Doctor." "I was that close to discovering what's going on here." "Whoa!" "Jimmy?" "Oh." "This isn't good." "Doc, tell me this isn't an egg." "The Viperox never bring an army with them." "They land, go underground, and hatch one." "Hatch an army?" "Then who's laying..." "The Viperox Queen." "And I don't think she's amused." "I have this effect on royalty." "Run!" "Must have found our way into an old mine." "They're coming!" "Get in the truck!" "The roof's coming in!" "That should hold them for a while." "Now all we have to do is get off..." "Good morning, Doctor." "Hello again." "I don't think we got properly introduced back at the diner." "You are?" "Mr Dread." "These are my associates..." "No, no, let me guess." "Mr Fear, Mr Terror and Mr Apprehension?" "The Alliance of Shades' mop-up teams never were much good at mingling." "You know these guys?" "Sort of." "The US government aren't the only people that want to keep a lid on aliens." "A lot of planets think you're too primitive." "Primitive?" "We have nuclear missiles!" "Yes." "Primitive and aggressive." "No offence." "None taken." "Anyway, if the Alliance get reports of a spaceship crashing, or some show-off saucer pilot doing loop the loops over the White House, they send in these guys to dispose of the evidence..." "And, sometimes, the eye-witnesses." "Only they're not very good." "Where is the ionic fusion bar?" "Oh, the gizmo from the crashed spacecraft?" "Sorry, lost that while we were being attacked by a Viperox Battle Drone." "Where is it?" "We haven't got it!" "Whoa!" "Am I seeing this?" "Didn't I mention?" "They're robots." "Give it to me or be incinerated." "Don't you think the Alliance of Shades would be more interested in the thousand Viperox Battle Drones ready to hatch under our feet than in a piece of space-flight hardware?" "Tell me where the ionic fusion bar is, and we will deal with the Viperox." "What?" "You couldn't even keep a lid on flying saucers." "You know, in 1972 the Alliance pulls the plug on the lot of you." "How are you four going to hold back Lord Azlok and his Viperox hordes?" "Unless..." "What?" "Grandpa." "Oh, I could've found out everything then." "Why does that keep happening today?" "Doctor, Cassie, this is my grandpa, Night Eagle." "Hey, that was kinda handy with those bows and arrows." "Yes, straight through the central processor units." "One lucky shot I could believe, but four?" "You've met men like this before, haven't you, Night Eagle?" "We saw the disc fall from the sky and thought more had come." "More of who?" "Oh, my..." "Five years ago we saw his ship crash." "So the ionic fusion thing came from his ship?" "How could you keep this secret?" "!" "Others searched for him." "Men in black suits." "Those who knew swore to tell no-one, not even our blood kin, to keep him safe." "It's all right." "I'm the Doctor." "I can help you." "I want to go home." "I can take you home." "Not without Saruba Velak." "Who?" "The other grey alien back at Dreamland." "Keep up, Jimmy!" "But she wasn't on your ship, was she?" "Night Eagle and his men would have saved her, too." "My name is Rivesh Mantilax." "Saruba Velak is my wife." "Her ship was attacked by pirates." "She was an ambassador of my people." "The pirates were paid to ensure she never reached her destination." "She transmitted a distress signal, but by then we were at war." "With the Viperox?" "Yes." "They had sabotaged the alliance my wife had tried to negotiate against them." "The war was long and savage, and I had a duty to my people." "But the torture of watching my species slaughtered was nothing to the loss of my wife." "When I could, I came for her." "And, let me guess, the military had Saruba Velak, the Roswell crash, so they were already looking for more spaceships, and they shot you down?" "Without provocation." "Forgive them." "They're primitive people, and scare easily." "We've seen your wife." "She's alive." "Tell me that they have not harmed her?" "I think she's all right." "And I'm going to get you both home..." "Or, at least, to whatever might be left after a war with the Viperox." "No, I don't think you will, Doctor." "Colonel Stark." "On behalf of the United States Government, thank you for leading us to this alien." "You just helped me save the world." "For the first time in 900 years, why does that feel like bad news?" "I guess they'll try and wipe our memories again." "You'd think Stark could be more forgiving, as accidentally leading him to Rivesh Mantilax has somehow saved the world." "Apparently." "Men like Stark don't save worlds." "All they know is destruction." "That's what worries me." "Lord Azlok?" "Doctor!" "What an unexpected displeasure." "What in heck are you doing here?" "I see you've met my ally, Lord Azlok." "Colonel, the Viperox savage and decimate every world they encounter." "They don't have allies." "They kill everything." "But we have a common interest." "Rivesh Mantilax?" "Saruba Velak..." "Did he tell you who he was, Doctor?" "He's a scientist." "A specialist in genetic warfare." "Do you know what that is?" "Yes." "Not pleasant." "Rivesh Mantilax had developed a weapon genetically targeted at the Viperox, to wipe us from the universe." "Doesn't sound like such a bad thing." "No, Jimmy, it is." "A very bad thing." "Who's to say one day even the Viperox won't discover a better way to exist?" "But I don't get it, Colonel." "Why are you in cahoots with the Viperox?" "The weapon can be modified to destroy our enemies instead." "You mean Russia?" "!" "The Reds are sitting on a thousand nukes." "And every one of 'em has Uncle Sam's name on it." "The Russians will never fire them!" "They know as well as you, that would be the end of the world." "Does President Eisenhower know about this plan?" "Heck, the President doesn't even know aliens exist." "Well, anyway, it's irrelevant, as you don't have the weapon, do you?" "Hey!" "I thought he blew a gasket? you can never be sure you've shut them down." "Twist a few wires together and they're anybody's." "Isn't that right, Lord Azlok?" "I retrieved the ionic fusion bar." "Except it's not an ionic fusion bar, is it?" "I'd worked that much out." "Why would the Alliance of Shades be more interested in ignition systems than a Viperox horde?" "Because it's really a weapon?" "Cleverly disguised." "Fooled even me." "And a weapon that could kill billions throughout the universe." "And now, you expect Rivesh Mantilax to re-program it to wipe out the whole of Russia?" "It is the only way to make my kind safe." "And he will do it." "He has searched too long for his wife to watch her served to me for dinner." "Only if you still have the weapon!" "Doctor!" "There's nowhere to go." "I'm not going to let you do this, Stark!" "If you trigger this weapon, you will kill millions of innocent people." "You're talking like a Red." "And there's only one cure for a Communist!" "And that's a bullet." "Listen to me, Colonel, you cannot trust Lord Azlok!" "There's a Viperox Queen giving birth to an army out there." "Once this weapon is re-programmed, there is nothing to stop them attacking Earth!" "A bunch of super-sized cockroaches against tanks and bombers?" "I'd like to see them try it." "Ask Rivesh Mantilax and Saruba Velak." "Their technology is a thousand years ahead of Earth." "They couldn't stop the Viperox." "How will you?" "Who are you going to be, Colonel?" "The man that saves the world, or the one who destroys it?" "This is Colonel Stark." "Pull back." "You're doing the right thing." "Soldiers, put Lord Azlok under arrest." "'He's gone, sir.'" "Ah..." "Two problems with the Viperox, Colonel." "You can't trust them, and they have very good hearing." "Consider yourself a prisoner of the United States Army." "We have laid waste entire galaxies." "The United States and Earth itself will be as dust beneath our feet." "Not if I can help it." "Take my advice, and go home." "While you still can." "Because you have the genetic weapon?" "Without Rivesh Mantilax, it is useless." "Now we shall tear your world to shreds." "Azlok took out the guards when you escaped." "He attacked him before we could do anything." "And there's nothing I can do." "Stand back." "My husband!" "Can we activate the weapon without him?" "Oh, you're all heart, aren't you, Colonel?" "No." "It's attuned to his DNA." "That's why Lord Azlok needed him to re-program it." "Or, better still, needed him dead." "He is not yet passed." "I can save him." "I need to get to the remains of my ship." "The wreckage is stored in The Vault." "It's impossible." "You'd better have a good reason why." "Operation Fallen Angel was set up to examine, classify and detain all alien life that crashes on Earth." "Something got loose in there." "Majesty, I need warriors." "Tonight we swarm." "The Viperox won't attack until sundown." "We've got an hour, tops." "I've got men laying charges in the old mine." "If we don't kill 'em, we'll bury them down there." "And they'll just dig themselves out again." "I need that weapon to deal with the Viperox." "I need Rivesh Mantilax." "And I need to go into that vault." "We're coming with you." "No." "I've got another job for you two." "This might take a while." "What sort of big blue box is he going to leave on the corner of Main Street?" "I hope we find whatever it is we're looking for in time, Saruba Velak." "And then you will use the genetic weapon to destroy the Viperox?" "To scour them from the cosmos?" "Well..." "It's not that simple." "CHIRPING" "Shh..." "Did you hear that?" "What in tarnation is it?" "I don't know." "But, look, it's almost sunset." "Here, keep looking." "We have to save your husband." "I'm going to see what's out there." "THUMPING" "Oh, dear..." "Doctor!" "I've found it!" "Unfortunately, so have I." "What is that?" "They are Skorpius flies." "A billion of them." "A giant, swarming brain." "If it's a brain, we can communicate." "Yeah, but the Skorpius swarm brain only has one thing on its mind." "Which is?" "Well, at this time of day, supper." "Run!" "Quickly, I've got a plan!" "This is your plan?" "It's in development." "We're getting reports of Viperox in a ten-mile radius of the old Solitude mine." "Your plan is to escape like a snail?" "How do we see where we're going?" "Who needs to see?" "Didn't you count your steps on the way in?" "84 steps ahead, turn left, 102 steps, turn right, 62 steps, and we're at the door." "Always count your steps, Saruba Velak." "You never know when you might need to escape in a box." "The whole town, they just tore it apart!" "We got to concentrate on getting this box back to the Doc, without running into any more bugs." "Waaah!" "Where in hell is the Doctor?" "!" "Remember, Saruba Velak, some men are born great, others have crates thrust upon them." "Come on, we've got a planet to save!" "That doesn't look good." "That doesn't look good at all." "The base!" "We'll never get in there!" "We have to...or Earth is finished." "Fall back!" "They've taken all but the lowest levels, sir." "Colonel Stark, so pleasant to see you again." "The soldiers cannot stop the Viperox." "Nothing can." "Oh, no?" "Just watch me!" "Tell me where the weapon is." "It is useless to you with Rivesh Mantilax dead." "Go to hell, you over-fed roach!" "Unless, of course, Rivesh Mantilax survives?" "So what's the big deal with the blue box?" "Take a look." "Holy smokes." "WHIRRING" "At ease!" "Saruba Velak, do your stuff." "Oh, my husband." "Saruba Velak." "Sorry, but we don't have much time." "The Viperox will be coming through that door any minute." "I need you to activate the genetic device." "Happily." "They destroyed our world." "Now to wipe them from the face of Creation..." "No." "We can't do that." "I won't allow it." "We've got to blow these monsters to hell!" "This weapon will destroy the Viperox, not just on Earth, but across the Universe." "No-one has the right to destroy an entire species." "Doctor, they destroyed my town!" "Please." "Trust me." "You brought my wife and me back together." "I trust you." "GUNSHOTS They're almost here." "Thank you." "Trigger the device, and he dies." "I'm not going to destroy the Viperox horde." "Believe me." "I can't." "Because you are weak?" "Because you're an evolving species." "One day something incredible is going to happen." "You will change, become peace-loving." "This is madness." "And this, Lord Azlok, is my ship." "She might have a few trillion light years on the clock, the chameleon circuit doesn't work and the temporal sat nav is always on the blink..." "But do you know what?" "She has got the meanest sound system in the universe!" "HIGH-PITCHED SQUEAL No!" "Go back to Viperon, and don't even think about coming back." "Your day will come, Doctor!" "Yeah, so they say." "There you go, Colonel." "Put that somewhere safe." "You won't have any more infestation problems." "Are you sure?" "Well, I tweaked the weapon to attack the Viperox nervous system on an ultra-sonic level." "Nothing deadly, just really annoying." "The TARDIS was just a big amplifier, but this will do the trick for you now." "Keep the bugs out of the house by a light year, or your money back." "On behalf of the United States Government, Doctor, thank you." "No." "No, don't..." "Yeah, well, like I said, the Viperox are going to change their ways." "I hope you do too, Colonel Stark." "The Russians are nice people." "And so are some aliens." "It doesn't look too bad with the dints knocked out of it, does it?" "I guess I'm going to have to trust you people to keep quiet." "Oh, what's up?" "The Viperox smash up your mind-wipe chamber?" "What about you, Doc?" "What now?" "I never did get anything to eat." "Think I'll grab a take-away." "Chinese." "Ming Dynasty." "Best dim sum this side of Infinity." "You ever get the taste for chilli again..." "It's a date." "Meanwhile, Jimmy, Cassie might need some help cleaning up after the Viperox hit town." "Why don't you give her a hand?" "She's got it." "Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd" "E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk"