"My darling Freddie." "A moment ago I knew exactly what I wanted to say to you." "I have run through this letter in my mind so very often and I wanted to compose something eloquent but the words just don't seem to be there." "I think that's because, this time, I really do want to die." "I really mean it." "It's not just a line." "I really think you're the most attractive girl I've met." " Hester?" " Hello." " How are you?" " Well, thank you." "You?" "Very well, thank you." "What brings you to..." "I was just..." "I survived the battle of britain, old fruit, old darling." "Survived." "The mixture of fear and excitement -- there's nothing like it." "Excitement and fear." "Irresistible combo." "We were doing something important -- for dear old Blighty." "Old fruit old darling." "Mrs. Page?" "Mrs. Page?" "Mrs. Page!" "Mr. Miller?" "Can you come up, please?" "It's urgent." "How many?" "!" "Twelve." "Get me a bowl." " Is there anything we can do?" " There's nothing you can do." "You don't mean she's dying?" "On the contrary." "But she did try to kill herself, didn't she?" "It would seem so." "She'll recover?" "60 grains of aspirin are hardly enough to kill a healthy child." "The symptoms of gas poisoning are very slight." "Do you think she'll try again, doctor?" "I'm not a doctor." "But I will say she will probably try again." "Isn't attempted suicide a crime?" "Don't people go to jail for it?" "People go to jail for all sorts of reasons." " Shall we call the police?" " No!" "Don't you think you should just stay in bed?" "No, I just..." "I just feel a bit   dopey, that's all." "I'm terribly sorry for all the trouble I've caused." "Are you sure you're all right?" "Yes." "Thank you." "Mr. Miller " " I don't like to ask, you've been so good but can you come down and see Mr. Elton later?" "He's not well again." "Of course." "And, Mr. Welch, don't forget to pick up your post on your way out." "Thank you, Mrs. Elton." "Mrs. Elton." "Please don't say anything to Mr. Page about my idiotic accident." "I don't want to alarm him." "If that's the way you want it." "Yes -- please." "That's the way I want it." "Stop!" "That man there!" "Just back from giving Jerry a damn good thrashing, sir." "Good show, Page." "Had to ditch the crate in the drink, though." "No fuel, no ammo left but was still a whizzo prang, sir." " Carry on." " Can I do you now, sir?" "They'll do the Navy now." "Range 2,000 and closing fast, number one." " Stand by torps!" " Torps ready, sir." " Fire one!" " Fire one." " Fire two!" " Fire two." "Oh, we hit her amidships, sir." "Very good." "Stand by to pick up survivors." "All right, you two, come down to earth." "Oh, I say, kitten." "Humor them, for God's sake, otherwise we'll get a replay of the entire war." "Very well, then." "That's all we need, sound effects." "Oh, you've gone all frosty, kitten." "Oh, is it agony?" "One does hope so." "If it gets too cold you could always rub two boy scouts together." "Drinks, gentlemen." "The ladies are thirsty." "Parched." "I love you so much." "We'll have less of that." "They can't ration everything." "No." "Come on -- let's go home." "Yes." "Do the right thing." "Go back to your husband." "Father, I came to you for advice." "I've given it to you." "For support, then." "From you." "From your heart." "You have a husband." "Your first loyalty is to him." "Twin beds." "Again." "Mother has an arcane view of married life." "How were you conceived, then?" "Willpower?" "Don't be vulgar, Hester." "We are talking about mummy." "Oh, it's not that bad." "Just don't let her rile you." "Mother?" "No." "Thank you." "Will you be going to wimbledon this year, mother?" "No, since your father's death I've not been able to enjoy tennis." "Do you play?" "Tennis?" "Anything." "I occasionally play a hand at canasta." "Cards are a pastime." "I meant a sport." "I've always thought of sport as one of the more pointless of human activities." "That was almost offensive." "I'm sure Hester didn't mean to be impolite, mother." "I take it you don't play, then?" "Occasionally." "I just find it very hard to be passionate about it." "Beware of passion, Hester." "It always leads to something ugly." "What would you replace it with?" "A guarded enthusiasm." "It's safer." "But much duller." "Oh, the garden really is glorious, even at this time of year." "Yes." "It's my one unalloyed pleasure." "So much safer than people, don't you think?" "No, not in the long run." "Ah, tea." "There." "No, darling." "Hester will pour." "Won't you, dear?" "If you wish." "Oh!" "You've put the milk in first." "Would you rather I hadn't?" "No, I'm sure it'll still be very refreshing." "The garden is really lovely, mother." "Yes, even Hester has been admiring it." "Almost passionately." "Would you like a cake, mother?" "Oh, yes." "The Battenberg." "It's a pleasure I've never outgrown." "Is there anything you haven't outgrown, Hester?" "Yes!" "Insensitivity." "I've never been able to forgive it." "Darling, I'm going upstairs to pack." "I'd like to get an early start back to town." "I'm hoping we'll be leaving for London soon." " All right, I'll see you at the grapes." "No." "No, not there." "I'll meet you at Jackie Jackson's." " Come back soon ." " As soon as I can, Freddie." " Oh, darling." " Darling." " Love you." " Me, too." "And who else do you call darling?" "I assume this means what I think it means?" "Well, how long?" "William." "How long has this been going on?" "For some months." "I see." "I'll meet you at the car after I've said goodbye to mother." "I don't want her upset unnecessarily." "And that way, at least our dignity will remain intact." "William." "Shall we send everything to your chambers, sir William?" "Yes, Lincoln's inn." "But I'll take the wig tin with me now." "Good day, sir William." "Do you realize what you're doing?" "Yes, William." "I do." "It's just a sordid little affair." "No, it's not." "I love him." "It's infatuation." "There's more to love than -- physicality." "Well, there isn't for me any more." "You can drop me here, Flitton." " I won't consent to a divorce." " Bill." "I intend to make it as difficult as possible for you." "You sound exactly like my father." " What do you mean?" " That tone of voice." "That same mixture of irritation and sanctimoniousness." "It's hard enough when it comes from a vicar, but when it comes from you it's insufferable!" "I'm sorry, William." "I didn't mean for that to sound as spiteful as it did." "How can you throw away so much for so little?" "I didn't think it was going to be easy." "Was it so hard to stay and continue?" "Yes, William it is." "Shall I come into dinner with you?" "In the circumstances, I think not." "I'll never give you a divorce." "I never want to see you again." "You may call for me at about 10:45, Flitton." "You may take lady Collyer to wherever it is she wishes to go." "Morning, Mrs. E." "Still doing post duty?" "Saves time, especially in the mornings." "My tenants can pick up their letters on their way to work." "Oh, you're a treasure, Mrs. E." "It's all part of the service." "Go right up." "Second floor, front." "Bit of a hike." "Post, Mrs. Page." " Mrs. Page?" " Yes?" "Post." "Oh, yes." "Thank you." "You'll make it look cosy in no time." "Thank you, Jackie, that was terrific." "Good afternoon, Mrs. Elton." "How's tricks, Hes?" "I have just done 93 down the great west." "In an Alvis." "Smashing job." "Jackie Jackson gave me a lift." "Well, let's have a bit of light on the subject." "Christ." "Let's have something with a bit of life in it." " Did you have a good weekend?" " Not bad." "I won both my matches." "Took a fiver off Jackie." "He was livid!" "And then it started raining so golf kaput." "How much did you win altogether?" "Seven." "Can I have some of it for the rent?" "Oh, hell." "All right, you can have 3." "But I need the rest for lunch." "A job prospect." "South American." "The DFC and bar seems to have impressed him." " What South American?" " A bloke I met at golf." "Do you know you've not looked at me since I came in?" "I know what you look like, Freddie." "I've done something, haven't I?" "Oh God." "Many happy returns." "Had you arranged something special?" "Just steak and a bottle of claret." "I'm sorry." "Come on." "I'm sorry." "I'm so sorry." "I can't say any more, can I?" "No you can't." " Do you still love me?" " Yes." "Yes." "I still love you." "I need a cigarette." "Oh, Freddie, give that to me." "It's addressed to me." "I beg you not to read it." "It's addressed to me." "Forgive me." "Freddie." "Freddie!" "Freddie!" "William?" "How did you know I was here?" "Your landlady telephoned me." "I'm sorry but I was worried about you." "I see." "Tell her to go." "It's all right, mrs Elton." "Thank you." "How did she find you?" "I'm still in the telephone directory." "I assume she used her initiative." "I'm flattered you came." "Don't be." "My motives were entirely selfish." "I was hoping to gloat." "Are you all right?" "You ought to be in bed." "Let me look at you." "Tongue." "You should live to a ripe old age." " Are you her doctor?" " No." "What are you, then?" "Shall we just say that he is a philanthropist." "A little more respect might not come amiss." "I give my respect to those who've earned it." "To everyone else, I'm civil." "I take it he's not a qualified medical practitioner?" "You take it quite correctly." "So what happened?" "I must be careful what I say." "Attempted suicide is a crime, isn't it?" "Yes." "And I am speaking to a judge." "You're speaking to your husband." "Why didn't you let me know you were back in London?" "The last time I saw you, you said never wanted to hear from me again." "The last time I saw you I didn't know what I was saying." "Has he deserted you?" "No, he just got back from Sunningdale." "Do you still play?" "I don't go to Sunningdale any more." "You used to love golf." "What do you do for exercise?" "I play tennis with David, occasionally." "Has he become very pompous since being made solicitor general?" "All solicitors general are pompous." "Helps their game." "Is he being unfaithful to you?" "No." "He still loves you?" "As much as he did 10 months ago." "And you still love him?" "Yes, William, I still love him." "Is it money?" "Sit down, bill." "It's nice to see you again." "I'm glad you still wear it." "Yes." "As yet I've taken no steps so you can have the divorce if you still want it." "That's generous of you, bill." "Can I do anything to help?" "No." "Well   at least I've found you again." " Did you look very hard?" " No." "I rather foolishly thought that my indifference would hurt your vanity." "Did you really try to kill yourself?" "Whilst the balance of my mind was disturbed." "Isn't that the legal phrase?" "Yes, and what disturbed that balance?" "Anger, hatred, shame." "Of myself." "Of being alive." " Are you still angry?" " At Page?" " At both of us." " Yes." "He betrayed my friendship." "You betrayed my trust." "But anger fades and is replaced by regret." "You said just now that his feelings for you hadn't changed." "They haven't." "But zero minus zero is still zero." "How long have you known this?" "From the beginning." "How in the name of reason can you go on loving a man who can give you nothing?" "Oh, but he does give me something -- from time to time." "What?" "Himself." "For someone like me whose   profession is the study of human nature, I'm very inexperienced in matters of this kind." "So am I, bill, so am I." "Blame my conventional upbringing." "I was brought up to believe that in matters of this kind it was more proper for the man to do the loving." "I wish you'd try to find a way I could help." "I'll try and find a way." " This is a tragedy." " Tragedy is too big a word." "Sad perhaps, but hardly sophocles." "If we'd been able to have a child would it have made any difference?" "To whom?" "Oh." "Many happy returns of yesterday." "Thank you." "♪ Any time you're feeling blue # # any time you feel downhearted # # that will prove your love for me is true # # any time you're thinking 'bout me # # that's the time I'll be thinking of you #" "# so any time you say you want me back again # # that's the time I'll come back home to you # # how you gonna keep 'em down on the farm # # after they've seen Paris?" "# # how you gonna keep 'em away from Broadway # # how you gonna keep 'em away from Broadway # # how you gonna keep 'em away from harm?" "# # that's the mystery # # they'll never wanna see a rake or a plough # # and who the deuce can parlez vous a cow?" "#" "Just because I forgot her bloody birthday!" "My God!" "If all the men who forgot their wives' birthdays were to come home to suicide notes the line would stretch from here to the shetlands." " Can I have the letter?" " Why?" "!" " It belongs to me!" " It had my name on it." "My God, aren't women the end?" "Marries the first man who asks her and falls in love with the first man who gives her the eye." "Look, Freddie, I think you two ought to talk." "I'll disappear." "I've got a whole bloody lifetime to talk to her!" "You stay." "Freddie." "Come home with me, please." "Oh, that cool, calm and collected act." "Do you see it?" "It always works so bloody well because it's always so bloody lethal." "I know that I'm going to die!" "Just accept that it isn't your fault." "It really isn't, Freddie." "You can't help who you are." "I can't help what I am." "Well, I'm not carrying the can for this old darling." "No dice." "I'm not the villain of the piece." "No one is saying you are!" "Haven't you read what I wrote?" "I'm not blaming you!" "I was the one who wanted to wait for the divorce." "You didn't." "You jumped that particular fence." "I never gave myself a big build-up." "You knew exactly what you were getting." "Yes, I knew the risk I was taking..." "And I took it!" "Oh my God!" "How I hate being tangled up in other people's emotions!" "I've tried to avoid it all my life." "It always happens to me!" "Always." "Look, you've always said that I don't really love you in the way that you love me." "That's not my fault!" "Let me give you a case." "Jack and Jill, Jack loves Jill, Jill loves Jack." "But Jack doesn't love Jill in the same way." " Jack never asked to be loved." " And what about Jill?" "That's Jill's hard luck!" "I can't be bloody Romeo all the time!" "Come on, you two." "Let's go inside and have a drink." "Have you got a shilling?" " What?" " Have you got a shilling?" "For the gas meter." "In case I'm late for supper." "Freddie, darling." "Would you come home with me, please?" "No, I will not." "You'll start talking and pleading." "No, I won't." "I promise I won't." "I swear I won't try to make you stay." "I won't even talk if you don't want me to." "Trust me, Freddie, I swear." "Freddie, be reasonable." "She's given her word, for God's sake!" "Will you get my wash things from the flat for me?" "I'll collect the rest of my stuff when I can face it." "It's all right, Jackie." "He knows me too well." "But you gave your word." "He knew perfectly well I had no intention of keeping it." "That's why he wouldn't come." "I just wanted to be with him for a while longer." "At least it's stopped raining." "How long have you been with him?" "Since 6." "He can do a lot of talking." "Especially when he's drunk." "At least what he says makes sense." "Does it?" "Freddie -- was very Frank with me." "So I know the whole situation." "Do you?" "We've all been in love." "But there are other aspects that are just as important." "Maybe more so." "Like spiritual values?" "You have exactly the same expression on your face as my father had when he talked about the pettiness of the physical." "Then he suggested I go to lyme Regis to think things over." "Look, Hester." "I'll get Freddie back to my place and calm him down." "Give me and Liz a ring once you've got back home." "Who knows, you may still be able to work things out." "Thank you, Jackie." "And you'll be fine?" "I'll be fine." "It looks like bits of crockery." "It's cubist." "It's like a braque." "Bric-a-braque." " That was a joke." " I gathered." " We can't all be cultured." " Can't all be childish, either." "Listen, it was childish people like me that saved people like you from invasion." "Why do you have to bring that up?" "!" "It's beside the point." "No one is questioning your bravery." "Just your mind." "My mind?" "There's nothing wrong with my mind!" " Fubar!" " What do you mean by that?" "You're the clever one, you work it out." "What the hell do you mean by that?" "!" "Fubar." "Acronym." "Fucked up beyond all recognition." " Where are you going?" "!" " To the impressionists!" "Oh, Mrs. Page, I thought you were second delivery." "More misdeliveries?" "Wagstaff and Quinn." "Undertakers." "They're at the end of the street." "So are Hawkes and Guyler." "Bleedin' postman." "Lady Collyer, I ask you." "What would she need with a ration book?" "That's mine." "I beg your pardon!" "It's for me." " And Mr. Page?" " Is not my husband." "But I would rather you continue to think of me as Mrs. Page." "All right." "But I run a respectable house here and I don't" " want any kind of trouble." " Of course not, Mrs. Elton." "What people do in private is best left there." "I neither condone nor condemn." "Thank you, Mrs. Elton." "It's very generous of you." "Do you forgive me?" "What do you think?" "So why did you go to the impressionists?" "I only did it for the monet." "# See the pyramids along the nile # # watch the sunrise on a tropic isle # # just remember darling all the while #" "# see the marketplace in old algiers # # send me photographs and souvenirs # # just remember when a dream appears # # you belong to me #" "# I'll be so alone without you # # maybe you'll be lonesome too and blue # # fly the ocean in a silver plane # # see the jungle when it's wet with rain # # just remember till you're home again #" "# you belong to me #" "# I'll be so alone and without you # # maybe you'll be lonesome too and blue # # fly the ocean in a silver plane # # see the jungle when it's wet with rain # # but remember darling till you're home again #" "# you belong to me #" " Hello, Liz?" " Hello." "Have Freddie and Jackie got back yet?" "Yes, they're here." " May I speak to Freddie?" " I'll just get him for you." "Darling, it's Hester." "Don't ring off." "No scene, I promise, I promise." "I only wanted to know about the job, that's all." "Did you see the man?" "Yes, he might have something for me." "Good." "Well done." "I've gotta get weaving." " How soon?" " Next week." " As soon as that?" " Yes." "Oh, Freddie." "Will you stay with Liz and Jackie until you leave?" "No, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to." "Look, Freddie, I..." "I want you to do one last thing for me." "Will you come and collect your things yourself?" "Just to say goodbye." "That's all." "Surely there's no harm." "# In Dublin's fair city # # where the girls are so pretty # # 'twas there that I first met sweet Molly Malone # # as she wheeled her wheelbarrow # # through streets broad and narrow #" "# crying cockles and mussels alive, alive oh # # alive, alive oh # # alive, alive oh # # crying cockles and mussels # # alive, alive oh # # now she was a fishmonger #" "# and sure 'twas no wonder # # for so were her mother and father before # # and they each wheeled their barrow # # through streets broad and narrow # # crying cockles and mussels alive, alive oh #" "# alive, alive oh # # alive, alive oh # # crying cockles and mussels # # alive, alive oh # # she died of a fever # # and no one could save her # # and that was the end of sweet Molly Malone #" "# now her ghost wheels her barrow # # through streets broad and narrow # # crying cockles and mussels alive, alive oh # # alive, alive oh # # alive, alive oh # # crying cockles and mussels #" "# alive, alive oh #" "This is a surprise." "No Flitton?" "No, I decided to drive myself." "I thought it best." "I was worried about you." "Please." "Get in." "Out of the chill." "Where is he?" "Drinking -- with a friend." "What's happened to you, Hester?" "Love, bill -- that's all." "And it's driven you to attempt suicide?" "No." "I drove myself." "Love, it would seem, drives all sorts of things." "What is that quote about love?" ""It comforteth like sunshine after rain and lust's effect is tempest after sun."" "One can't go on living on a flat plane." "Not after discovering something more..." "Primitive?" "Shall we say natural?" "In sober truth, Hester, isn't it lust?" "Oh, bill." "Do you honestly think I can tell you in sober truth what it is I feel for Freddie?" "Lust isn't the whole of life but Freddie is, you see, for me the whole of life." "And death." "So put a label on that if you can." "His life stopped in 1940." "He loved 1940." "He's never been really happy since the war." "He once told me he envied you." "A brilliant lawyer." "That sounds too spontaneous to be sincere." "No, he meant it." "He said he envied you for other reasons besides your career." "I knew then -- in that tiny moment," "I had no power to resist him." "No power at all." "During those months, why didn't you talk to me about it?" "It would have made no difference." "Meaning that I would have made no difference?" "That's not what I said." "The noble judge." "Hung any good christians lately?" "Have you heard about her little accident?" "Did you ever forget her birthday?" "No, you're not the forgetful type." "Freddie, you're drunk." "Go inside." "Yes, squadron leader!" "You see how I'm bullied?" "I bet you were never bullied like this." "Am I being uncouth?" ""Yes, Freddie, you're being very uncouth."" "Why don't you come round again soon when I've got some self-respect back." "You'll know we're in." "I'll leave 'mother' burning in the window for you." "Still love her, my lord?" "!" " The answer to that is yes." " Please, bill, don't." "Hester, don't you see what I'm offering you?" "And don't you see how difficult it is for me to refuse?" "Is there nothing I can say?" "No." "But let's, let's see what the future brings." "Our future?" "No, just the future." " Belated birthday gift." " Oh, bill." "Thank you." ""The sonnets."" "Thank you." "I've always loved them." "Mrs. Page?" "Do you have a minute?" "Yes, of course." "What is it?" "On your way up, could you ask..." "All right, I'm coming, Frank." "There, there." "Safe as houses." "I can face anything so long as you're there." "I'll always be here, Frank." "You handsome devil." "You was a real dish, weren't you?" "Yeah, a real dish." "By the way, I don't want a repeat of that nonsense this morning." "Do you hear?" "Sometimes it's difficult to judge when you're caught between the devil and the deep blue sea." "A lot of rubbish is talked about love." "You know what real love is?" "It's wiping someone's arse or changing the sheets when they've wet themselves." "And letting them keep their dignity so you can both go on." "Suicide?" "No one's worth it." "Mr. Miller?" "Mr. Elton's ready now." "I'll be down in a minute." "Freddie, let me in." "Freddie, don't be childish." "Let me in." "The South American made me an offer." "What kind of offer?" "A test pilot." "But you said a hundred times that you wouldn't go back to it." "You told me that you had no nerve or judgement left." "I know what I said." "But I'm accepting it anyway." "Don't worry about my nerve or judgement." "A month or two on the wagon and I'll be the old ace again." "Whereabouts in South America?" " Rio." " Rio?" "When do we go?" "We don't." "I'm going alone." "That's what I wanted to tell you." "Why, Freddie?" "Today." "The letter." "The suicide attempt." "We're lethal to each other." "You can't expect a bloke to go on after he's driven someone to suicide much as he loves her." "Do you think that leaving me will drive me away from it?" "That's a risk we'll both have to take." "You're scaring me, Freddie." "It's on the level." "I don't enjoy hurting you." "I'm not a sadist but it's on the level." " I'll leave now." " Freddie, stay with me tonight." "Just one more night." "No." "You'll start talking..." "And I " " I'll be lost." "Both of us will be lost." "Don't be cruel." "How can you be so cruel?" " It's over, Hes." " No, it isn't, that isn't true." "It's over." "It ended today." "I'm sorry, Hes." "Don't look at me like that." "You've no idea what it does to me." "All your things are here." "You're going to have to pack." "I won't speak." "I won't argue." "But please don't leave me alone tonight." "Not tonight." "Please don't leave me alone tonight." "You look smart." "The old blue serge." "Will it pass?" "It'll pass." "But those shoes need a clean." "Yes." "Oh, don't put the shoes on the table." "It's bad luck." "That's what they say." "Do they?" "Did you have any breakfast?" "Just a black coffee." "No hair of the dog." "When exactly are you off to Rio?" "Thursday." "I told you." "Yes." "Course you did." "By boat?" "No." "I'm flying." "London." "West Africa." "And then across to natal." "Sounds exciting." "Oh, by the way, about the rent." "My golf clubs will probably fetch 30 or 40 quid." "So that will take care of the rent and some more bills." "And what will you do, Hes?" "I'm not quite sure." "Get the divorce out of the way." "Tidy things up." "Good idea." "It's never too late to begin again, eh?" "Isn't that what they say?" "Yes that's what they say." "Goodbye, Hes." "Goodbye, Freddie." "I'm gonna miss you." "Thanks for everything." "Thank you." "Be safe." "Be good."