"Erica:" "Previously on "Being Erica"..." "I woke up yesterday morning to find out that my whole life is gone." "Dr. Tom:" "You've been in a coma for two weeks." "Barbara:" "She thought her real doctor, Doctor Wexler, was her therapist." "Security guard:" "Take it easy, okay?" "Erica:" "I want my life back, Dr. Tom." "You give me my life back!" "Security guard:" "Calm down, okay?" "!" "Get the hell off of me!" "(Grunts) Stop it!" "I remember it all, Leo." "Every lesson, good and bad." "Every victory, every defeat." "I can't just throw it away;" "I can't throw my life away." "I would rather live and try and fail than give up." "(Exhales) Erica." "Dr. Tom, what is happening?" "You passed, Erica." "Welcome to doctor training." "Erica:" "Can you believe it?" "I came this close to failing, but..." "I passed." "I didn't, Erica." "What's this?" "Dr. Tom:" "Your card." "It's time to meet your first patient." "Erica." "Josh." "Come to Toronto and the first person I see is you." "You're... you're..." "You are..." "Older?" "Alive?" "Satan?" "Here." "You're... here." "Yeah, I'm here to finalize my divorce." "You remember that?" "Your sister kicking my ass to the curb?" "Yeah, I remember you ignoring her and taking her for granted." "Have a nice life." "Josh, wait a minute, let's, um..." "Let's... talk." "Why?" "If you'd just give me a minute, um" "No, how about not, okay?" "And just think, Erica, once I go through this door, we'll never have to see each other again." "(Sighs)" "Josh, wait!" "Ugh!" "Josh!" "Why?" "Out of all the people that you could have picked to be my patient, why..." "Josh?" "Why not Josh?" "Well, you know, I could think of a million different reasons:" "I don't like him, I don't understand him at all." "Consider this your opportunity to understand him better." "No, but..." "'Kay, he hates me, too." "He's in the middle of divorcing my sister, and there's no way that he's gonna accept me as his doctor." "Well, that's good because you aren't his doctor." "Erica, you are a doctor in training, and your first assignment is to help Josh move on with his life." "Move on?" "To what?" "I mean..." "How do I even do that?" "You figure it out." "(Sighs)" "I feel like you're setting me up to fail." "Well, "Failure is nature's plan to prepare you for great responsibilities."" "Napoleon Hill." "And I think that you should prepare to fail repeatedly, Erica." "This process is not going to be easy, and it's not meant to be." "Okay, so what do I do?" "Do I just go out there, hand him the card, and ask him how he's handling the divorce?" "Dr. Tom:" "You go out there and you get on with your day, and your moment to jump in and help will arrive." "Erica:" "How do I know when- Dr. Tom:" "You'll know." "Trust me." "Okay." "♪ Being Erica 04x01 ♪ Doctor Who?" "Original Air Date:" "October 3, 2011" "♪ It's clearer inside of me ♪" "♪ who I will always be ♪" "♪ open me up to my heart. ♪" "♪ Feels like I'm seeing in the dark-- ♪" "♪ Waking me up to my life-- ♪" "♪ To do it all over ♪" "♪ again and again, ♪" "♪ until the end ♪" "♪ the sum of my dreams, ♪" "♪ and everything I ever wanted to be. ♪" "Hey, can you be here for six?" "I told Sam 6:30." "Yeah." "Six is good." "Do you need me to pick up anything?" "Um, if you could grab some wine, that would be great." "I've got a million things to do, including finding my moment to leap in and help Josh move on." "Sounds like it's gonna be the fun part." "Yeah, well, you don't know Josh." "And it doesn't help that my day is psycho." "I've got back-to-back interviews all morning, and then I gotta rush home and cook." "And I just, I don't even wanna think about it." "Then don't." "Adam..." "Hey!" "Um..." "I have to go to work." "So be late;" "You're the boss." "Seriously, seriously, we can't, we can't do this right now." "Seriously?" "Why not?" "(Giggles)" "Because I have very important things to..." "Oh my God." "I mean, I guess I could be a few minutes late." "(Erica breathes heavily and Adam laughs playfully)" "Did anyone ever tell you you're really good at that?" "Which part?" "All of it." "The... all of it." "Yeah, practice makes perfect." "So, how much practice have you had?" "Oh, come on, Erica, I was joking." "No, I'm serious though, I'm curious." "How many women have you slept with?" "Okay, I'll make it easy." "Uh... more than ten?" "More than ten?" "Are you serious?" "I don't think I know anyone that hasn't had more than 10." "Seven over here." "Okay..." "So you've had more than ten." "Have you had more than twenty?" "More than thirty?" "More than forty?" "You know what?" "Let's just..." "We're gonna stop at forty." "They didn't mean anything." "Oh, come on." "No, you know what they say about how it's different when you..." "When you...?" "When you love someone." "I've never loved anyone before." "Before now." "Mediator:" "...And I've highlighted the essential points of agreement." "If you're both amenable, we'll use this as a basis for preparing a formal settlement." "Signed." "Well, my issues about debt division, are they included here?" "And the, uh, London condo?" "Page six." "Wow." "I wish you were this easygoing when we were married." "Mediator:" "Josh..." "No, it's cool." "Anyone got a pen?" "So that was easier than I thought it would be." "Yeah, I just..." "wanna move on so that both of us can be happy." "No, no." "So that you can be happy, you mean." "Don't..." "Don't speak for me." "I wasn't speaking for you." "I was, I was being sincere." "Then you should've thought twice before asking for a divorce." "Okay." "Bye, Josh." "Josh:" "That's right, storm off in a huff." "That's more like the Sam I know." "Just get in the car, Sam." "Don't let him bring you down to his level." "Josh:" "So what, that's how it is?" "Am I even worthy of a response?" "Lenin:" "Come on, man, just take it easy." "What?" "You're too full of joy, and light, and peace" "Hey!" "Back off!" "You hear me?" "Yeah." "Sam:" "To answer your question," "I am happy, Josh." "For the first time in years, I am happy." "And if you want to be mean and miserable, that's your choice." "Lenin:" "Get outta my way." "(Engine starts)" "Just drive." "Erica:" "So tell us why you'd make a great assistant here at 50/50." "Interviewee:" "Well, I'm a professional typist, and a huge fan of "Sweet Dreams Kitty";" "I read it to my cats every night." "Oh, and I loved "Broken Dreams of Gold."" ""Broken Dreams of Gold"?" "The first book I edited." "Don't ask." "Oh, it's Sloan Scott." "You work out at my gym." "Do you do Zumba?" "Oh my God, I heart Zumba!" "It's like I'm getting a workout and a night out at the same time!" "Oh my God!" "I totally agree." "Do you have Julio as your instructor?" "Uh, Julio-else do you think?" "(Both giggle)" "You're cute." "Erica:" "Uh, Sloan, it's just I see here that you don't have any actual experience as an assistant." "What do you mean?" "Oh." "And, uh, when I was doing my masters in English lit," "I spent summers working at a small press in Ottawa." "Secretarial work, but they also had me doing coverage on the missions." "Coverage?" "Really?" "Rachel:" "Well, yeah." "First time in my life I actually felt cool." "(Chuckles)" "I bet." "So, Rachel, uh, tell me what you" "My spare time?" "Uh, well, I do lots of things." "Uh, I write a blog." "I'm into guerrilla gardening." "Seed bombs, you know?" "(Mimics small explosion)" "Julianne:" "How did you do that?" "I mean, how did you answer a question that hadn't asked yet?" "You asked what I do in my spare time." "No." "I was gonna ask you what you do in your spare time, but then you cut me off." "Okay." "This might sound weird, but..." "I'm a little bit psychic." "But it gets worse when I'm nervous, and since this is an interview situation" "I'm sorry, what?" "The more nervous I get, the more psychic I am." "I have no control over it." "You know, it's like some people sweat," "I get psychic." "Okay, please tell me we don't have to do this again tomorrow." "Well, we won't have to if we pick someone from today, okay?" "I mean, it's pretty obvious who." " Yeah." "Rachel." " Sloan!" "Sloan?" "Julianne, she has zero experience." "I know, but she does Zumba." "And I got a very good vibe from her - and not a creepy "I'm a psychic" vibe" " like Rachel." " Rachel has actual experience." "And so what if she's quirky?" "I mean, she seems smart." "She did a chair dance." "And she's keen, and she's got great references." "She's a freak." "Okay." "We will..." "(Clears throat)" "Just call more people and set up more interviews." "Oh..." "No." "No, it's fine." "We'll hire the weirdo psychic with experience." "Yes!" "But a voice from beyond is telling me not to be surprised if it doesn't work out." "Julianne, it's fine." "I'm calling her right now." "Ugh." "Sam:" "...then Josh follows me outside." "Lenin's waiting for me." "Lenin:" "I wasn't planning on being there." "But I'm glad I was." "My knight in shining armour." "Adam: (Chuckles) Good man." "Sam:" "Anyway, the kicker?" "I got home and there's an email from Josh's lawyer with even more demands." "No, no, no, wait, I..." "I thought that he signed?" "There was a rescission period and he changed his mind." "Lenin:" "He's doing everything he can to make you hurt." "It's, uh, it's petty." "Anyone want some more wine?" "Sammy?" "I'm good with water, thanks." "But I will have a cupcake." "Yeah." "Sure." "Cupcakes with sprinkles, coming right up." "Thank you." "Sam:" "Guys, I just, I can't believe I wasted so many years with that selfish bastard." "Nobody liked him." "You hated him." "Well, I mean, I didn't hate him." "Sam:" "Oh, come on." "You did." "And I was so protective of him for so long, and now it makes no sense to me." "Why did I love him?" "How could I have loved someone like that?" "Anyway, it's fine." "If he wants a war, I will give him one." "All right, I know you're upset honey." "Me, too, but we need to just chill on the Josh thing." "Dude's got issues." "Yeah, Lenin's right." "Are you seriously suggesting that I should feel sorry for him?" "No." "But I do think you need to be the bigger person." "Rise above all this." "Show him some, uh, some maturity." "I've tried." "No matter what I do he keeps coming after me, and look, there comes a point when you have to say enough is enough and fight back." "(Knocking)" " Erica." " Josh, hi." "If Sam's got something to say to me, she should say it through her lawyer." "Look, Josh, I know this might be weird, but honestly, I'm not here to attack you." "I'm..." "I'm here to help." "Right." "Okay." "Goodbye, Erica." "No, just, Josh, Josh..." "Wait." "Look, if Sam wants to move on with her life with some rasta dude?" "Good for her." "But me?" "I'm just..." "thinking things through." "You're torturing her on purpose." "I'm glad to hear it's working." "(Stammers, stunned) (Door slams)" "I'm not, I'm not..." "I'm not!" "(Elevator dings)" "I..." "I hate that guy!" "I..." "I hate him and I want to punch in his smug little face!" "Dr. Tom:" "Erica." "Okay." "Why don't you, uh..." "why don't you just relax, okay, and come and sit, please." "There you go." "(Sighs, amused)" " Better?" " No." "You know what?" "Not really." "And I can't do this." " I don't know how to do this." " One step at a time." "Okay?" "Let's start with where you're at." " Well, I" " You hate Josh." "I understand that." "So why don't you tell me when that started - the hatred." "(Sighs, overwhelmed)" "Um..." "Spring break." "1998." "We were supposed to spend the week at my Grandmother's condo in Lauderdale." "It was supposed to be me and Sam." "Sam wound up inviting Josh, so I invited Jenny..." "But then, before we even got on the airplane," "Sam got food poisoning and she barfed all over the, um..." "Dr. Tom:" "The conveyor belt?" "Erica:" "And our carry-on luggage, and Jenny's brand new kitten heel sandals." "Yeah, okay." "Anyway, instead of Josh staying in Toronto to take care of Sam, he flew down with us." "We were just stuck with him." "And yes, okay, we could've been more mature about it, but Josh went insane." "He was constantly wasted and wound up naked in the pool." "And the condo board, they almost kicked my Bubbe out." "And so, by the time Sam finally arrived" "Yeah, yeah, you hated him." "Yeah." "(Sighs) Wow." "Before that trip, you know," "I always thought that, Josh, he was mildly annoying but mainly harmless." "After that trip?" "Oh, I saw him for what he really is." "You know, he's rude and crude" " and hugely insincere," " Erica..." " on top of being..." " Erica?" " What?" "!" " I get the picture." "Here's the thing though." "(Sighs)" "Each patient is chosen for a specific reason." "They have something to teach you, and you have a way to help them." "However, neither of these things can happen without first establishing a connection." "You have to build a connection with Josh, all right?" "Otherwise, why would he trust you enough to open up?" "How?" "I mean, we have nothing in common." "Well, which brings us to lesson one:" "You are your patient." "What the hell does that mean?" "(Chuckles)" "Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves." "First, build a bridge with Josh-- connect-- so that you can do your job and help him move on with his life." "(Bins clatter) Whoa!" "Sorry." "Sorry." "Josh:" "What is with the Strange sisters today?" "I mean, come on, Sam, let's go." "Jenny, hand me that bin now!" "What?" "Why?" "Look, if you like your brand new shoes you will hand me that bin." "Sam: (Vomits) Jenny:" "Oh my God." "Erica:" "It's okay, Sam." "Josh:" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Check it" " I got this humongous bottle of liquid gold for 18 bucks." "Erica:" "Josh, that's... that's great, but look, Sam is sick and I don't think she's gonna be able to make the flight." "Yes you can." "It's up and down, three hours." "Sam, you have food poisoning and you can't fly if you're throwing up." "So, look, here's what we'll do." "You're gonna go home and get some rest and, Josh, you..." "you can come with us." "What?" "!" "Erica..." "Erica:" "Yeah, and Sam, you can fly down in a couple of days, when you're feeling better." "She'd have to get a whole new flight." "It's just, you know, it's just rebooking fees, it's no biggie." "So we settled?" "♪" "So what..." "I'm supposed to like accept that you invited this asshole along to ruin our vacation?" "Well, look, this asshole, he's probably gonna marry Sam one day, which will make him my brother-in-law." "So I need to build a relationship with him, and that is exactly what I'm gonna be doing on this trip." "Jenny:" "Okay." "You called him a cheesy, annoying loser and made fun of his Duran Duran tattoo to his face." "When did I do that?" "Yesterday." "Good luck building that relationship." "Josh: (Knocks) You girls coming or what?" "I'm hitting the pool;" "I gotta get my rays on." "Erica:" "Hey, Mr. Anderson." "Josh:" "This place is full of old people." "Oh, hey, ladies." "Jenny:" "No, no-no-no-no-no." "This is not what I signed up for." "Jenny, I told you this is my Bubbe's condo." "Okay, but it looks like a scene from "The Golden Girls."" "Wait till I bust out the whiskey." "Then it'll be "Golden Girls Gone Wild"!" "Jenny:" "Ew." "You guys, look, it's free and it's a 10 minute walk to the beach, so quit your whining." "Jenny: (Gasps) Erica:" "What?" "Hello." "Can we say gorgeous?" "Okay, if Ricky Martin turns out to be gay or married?" "We're checking out of bubbe-land and into the Lago Mar, all right?" "Go get him, tiger." "(Snaps fingers)" "All right, let's, uh..." "Let's get our rays on." "Are those two cool?" "Erica:" "No, actually." "Let's just, uh..." "Let's sit somewhere else, okay?" "Why?" "Because "Call me Barry" Rosenfeld over there, he's a little bit of a letch." "Let's go over here." "Josh:" "Do you mind if me and my friend join you for a little fun in the sun?" "Erica:" "Hi, Mr. Rosenfeld." "Erica." "Oh!" "(Laughs uncomfortably)" "I tell you this every time, call me Barry." "Here, please..." "Erica: (Through clenched teeth) Okay." "So, uh, Erica, is this your boyfriend?" "Erica:" "Yes, I is." "Josh:" "No, we're just friends." "The name's Josh." "Mr. Rosenfeld:" "Nice to meet you, Josh." "Can I let you in on a little secret, Barry?" "Sure." "My friend Erica loves older men." "She likes a man who can teach her things like Mahjong and a Merengue." "A man of refinement, a man of distinction." "My first wife?" "20 years younger than me." "That's what I love about this modern world-- anything goes." "(Laughs)" "Uh, I um..." "I need some water." "Come on, Erica, don't be mad." "(Sighs)" "Don't be mad?" "Why do you act like this?" "I was just trying to have some fun." "At my expense." "S-seriously, Erica," "I only did that for a laugh." "I'm not trying to be mean." "Jenny:" "Oh my God!" "Hey!" "So Jesus, AKA the hottest pool boy slash graffiti artist ever has just invited us to Las Olas," "Lauderdale party central." "It's gonna be off da h-double-o k!" "Um..." "I don't know." "Josh, do you have any big plans tonight?" "No." "Erica, Jesus invited us." "No, that's cool." "You, you guys go." " Okay." " No, look." "You know what?" "I'll go if Josh goes." "Just go ask Jesus if we can have one more." "It's not a big deal." "Come on!" "Okay." "Sure." "♪" "Josh:" "Well, she doesn't waste any time." "(Laughs)" "Wow, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit." "Mmm!" "Oh, Jenny..." "It's just, it's always the same story." "Not the fun night out you were hoping for, I bet." "No, no." "I'm glad Jenny and Rico Suave are making a love connection." "It's entertaining." "Thanks for inviting me, by the way." "No, I wanted to." "Uh, so, what should we talk about?" "I don't know." "All right, how 'bout this, how 'bout this?" "We ask each other a question, and it can be anything-- but you have to answer it." "Come on, it'll be fun." "It'll be fun." "I'll start." "Uh, what's with the tattoo on your arm?" "Come on, like..." "I liked Duran Duran." "The "Union of the Snake" was like my anthem." "So one drunk night, I got a little carried away." "Okay, now it's your turn." "Ask me question." "It can be anything." "Bring it." "Why haven't you had a real boyfriend since high school?" "Wow." "Way to just start at full speed." "Um..." "I don't know." "I guess..." "I had, or I have, um... a tendency to pick guys apart." "Unfairly." "And maybe deep down I don't know what I want" "Or didn't." "Yeah." "What?" "It's your turn to ask." "No, no, no." "What were you just thinking?" "That is my next question." "I can't tell you all my secrets." "Um... actually, I just, uh..." "I just have to go to the bathroom, but you are not off the hook, mister." "Wow!" "You really don't do subtle, do you?" ""Life is too short to blend in."" "Paris Hilton." "So you seem to be making some headway." "Yeah." "Who knew?" "It's been pretty eye-opening." "You know, back in 1998, Josh, he was just, he was a lot less bitter, a lot more open, and actually..." "Sorta funny." "You sound surprised." "Not so much, you know." "I mean, if the point is for me to realize that Josh..." "He's..." "He's an actual person-- you know, he's not just the devil-- so I need to stop judging him and stop focusing on his bad qualities and start looking towards his good qualities." "Oh, and the trophy for the most obvious realization of the evening goes to Erica Strange." "What?" "That's not it?" "Okay, look, I don't understand, because you told me to build a bridge and that's what I've done." "And what on Earth is this for?" "Ammunition." "Woman:" "Puneta, donde has estado?" "Huh?" "Con esta puta?" "!" "Oh my God!" "Of course, Jesus has a girlfriend." "Jenny and woman:" "(Shouting back and forth) ... comes out of nowhere and starts shrieking at Jenny." "(Shrieking and yelling)" "Erica:" "You guys, just chill out!" "Oh my God!" "(Indistinct yelling and screaming)" "Hah!" "Ole!" "Jenny!" "What?" "What?" "Yeah." "Woman:" "(Shouting in Spanish)" "Erica:" "Yeah." "No." "Okay, Jenny." "Just, you know, just do whatever it is that you wanna do." "(Exhales) Okay." "See you tomorrow." "Well, Jenny is going to spend the night with Jesus." "Well, I hope he has a deadbolt." "(Laughs)" "Oh..." "You know, Josh, I'm really glad that we got to hang out tonight." "Seriously, it's..." "Yeah." "Me too." "I wish we'd done it sooner." "(Snorted laughter)" "Stop before you're gonna start telling me my eyes look like the ocean." "Both:" "(Laugh)" "Oh my gosh." "(Yawns)" "I am exhausted and I drank too much, so..." "Good night." "No, no, no, no, no, no, it's not even midnight." "Your bubbe's got VH1;" "We can stay up and watch pop-up video." "Sorry." "I'm too tired." "But hey, you know what?" "You..." "You should get some sleep too and we can do this all over again tomorrow." "Good night." "Whoa, whoa, whoa..." "What the...?" "What the hell was that?" "(Exhales, uncomfortable)" "That was not an invitation." "What the hell is wrong with you?" "(Slams door shut)" "(Sighs heavily)" "Oh my God, you scared me." "Jenny:" "Ugh." "Shhh!" "Keep your voice down;" "This hangover's brutal." "Hey, listen, did you, uh... did you see Josh on your way up?" "Yeah, I did." "He was at the pool." "Erica:" "And did he, did he say anything or...?" "How about, uh, "Hey, Jenny, how was your fabulous night with Jesus?"" "How 'bout that?" " Jenny..." " Erica, honestly?" "Your obsession with Josh is wacked." "And if I didn't know you," "I would think you were in love with him." "(Derisive laughter) Oh... wow." "Oh God." "(Preparatory breath)" "He kissed me." " What?" " Yeah, last night." "You know, I just thought we were having this nice, relaxed conversation and he took it as an invitation." "Ew!" "Ew!" "What a sneaky creep!" "He's dating your sister." "I mean, you should get on the phone to Sam right now." "No, look, I'm not..." "I'm not doing that." "Josh, he just..." "I mean, he just made a mistake." "And he has no sense of boundaries and..." "He needs to be confronted and just told that it's not okay and" "Erica, no." "No." "You're being way too forgiving." "Okay?" "Josh is a creep, end of story." "Well..." "I mean, that's a little simplistic." "You know what?" "Never mind." "That's fine." "Go talk to him, Mother Theresa, and go prove me right." "Jenny, why- (Door slams shut)" "(Music plays through the headphones)" "Man:" "Hey." "Hey..." "We need to talk." "Can't hear you." "Listen, Josh, I'm, uh." "I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt here." "Listen, Erica, beer goggles - shit happens." "There's nothing to talk about." "Listen, Josh, you're dating my sister and shit doesn't just happen." "What you did was wrong and I need to understand you." "How could you do something like that?" "You came on to me." "Josh..." "With the questions and the hugs, and "Oh, Josh, wish we'd done this sooner."" "I was just being friendly." "No, more like you were drunk and horny and now you're trying to blame me." "Okay, but you're the slut who tried to get it on with her sister's boyfriend." "If you don't back off, that's what I'll tell Sam." "And who do you think she's gonna believe, huh?" "Me, that's who." "And I'll make sure she hates you forever." "(Stunned gasp)" "Uh..." "I can't work with him." "I can't work with that guy." "I can't." "I-I tried," "I took a risk, I tried to connect with him, but it's just, it's the same crap." "Nevertheless, Josh is your patient." "He is toxic, right to the core." "Just toxic." "So, what're you trying to say?" "I think that it's time for me to move on to a new patient." "And that's what you want?" "Yeah, that's what I want." "Then it's done." "Okay." "(Keys jingle)" "Erica:" "Phew..." "Hey, that was fast." "Erica:" "Not really." "Heh." "I just spent the last two days in Florida and I'm wiped." "In Florida, eh?" "Cavorting with movie stars on South Beach, were ya?" "(Laughs)" "No, no, no." "This is 1998, Fort Lauderdale." "Old people and speedos do not mix." " Ouch." " Yeah." "So?" "How was your first case?" "Pretty bad..." "Since I quit." "I mean, not training, just..." "just being his doctor." "You quit?" "Yeah, you know what?" "It just, you know, it wasn't gonna work out." "After one session?" "Of course it wasn't gonna work out right away." "No, at all." "I mean..." "I mean, you said it yourself." "Josh, he is messed up." "You think me and Dr. Tom hit it off when I first started therapy?" "I battled him every step of the way, and I was no cocky investment banker like Josh." "I broke bones for a living." "Did Dr. Tom give up on me?" "No." "But you know what?" "It's just, it's not the same." "Yeah, it is." "You're a doctor now." " In training." " In training, who just quit on her very first patient." "(Sighs)" "Ah, dammit!" "Ugh!" "It's just..." "It's really hard and..." "And." "And I have no idea what it's like, so I shouldn't comment." "No." "No, hey, that's..." "Look, that is..." "That's not what I meant at all." "All I can say is don't give up." "Dr. Tom gave you Josh for a reason." "Mm." "Anyway, I should get going." "I've got an early start tomorrow." "I'll come by tomorrow night, okay?" "Okay." "Thank you." "You're welcome." "Adam:" "Good night." "Erica:" "Good night." "(Groans and sighs) Okay." "(Takes a deep calming breath)" "Have a seat." "I wanna try again." "Okay." "Well..." "Then I think that we should start at the beginning." "Okay." "You are your patient." "See, that's the problem, Dr. Tom, because I don't understand what that means." "Because I'm not..." "at all." "I'm nothing like him." "You know you say that repeatedly, right?" "(Takes a deep breath)" "I would never act the way that he does." "Ever." "Every time I try to reach out and connect with him, every time I open myself up to him, he either shuts down or attacks me." "And you would never do something like that" "Shut someone down when they're opening up to you." "No." "Of course I wouldn't." "Really?" "So you are totally innocent when it comes to Josh?" "(Low hum of chatter)" "Uh..." "Where are we?" "Well, you're over there with Josh." "Erica:" "This is the night of the blackout." "What're we doing here?" "Dr. Tom:" "Well, this was an important night for you and Josh." "It was the first time that he opened up to you and let you know how he felt." "Watch and listen to your reaction." "Josh:" "You know how I met Sam?" "Grade nine." "I switched lockers so I could to meet her." "Erica:" "Why?" "Josh:" "Strategy. 'Cause I was..." "I liked this other girl that she was with and she and Sam were really close." "Okay." "So you used her." "Yup." "To get to the girl I liked." "But just..." "It didn't work." "You know, and she's a great girl." "My parents liked her, my friends liked her," "I liked her." "I just didn't love her." "What?" "!" "Josh:" "And Sam could sense it." "She can tell my heart's not in it." "See, that's the thing." "From the beginning, my heart has always wanted..." "Don't..." "Erica..." "No, okay?" "No." "Just stop talking." "I don't want to hear it, okay?" "I gotta go find Sam and uh.." "Shit." "Y-you do not tell Sam ever." "I won't." " Ever!" " I won't." "(Shaky breaths, on the verge of tears)" "(Crying)" "(Whoosh)" "Dr. Tom:" "Josh exposes himself to you, he shares his feelings, is vulnerable in a way that's excruciating, and you?" "You shut him down, you shut him up." "I never meant to hurt him." "I didn't..." "And I certainly didn't do it on purpose." "And when Josh hurts people, he does it on purpose." "And that's the distinction, is it?" "Really?" "That Josh, he does it, it's on purpose, but when you do it-- by accident, right?" "Yes." "In Florida, when he kissed you..." "No, that was completely different, and he deserved to be told off." "He was dating my sister." "Uh, Erica," "I think you're missing the point." "(Exhales calmly)" "Which is?" "Which is you place Josh down here and you place yourself up here," "and you say, that is not me." "I could never be like that." "You know, that person is other... is undeserving..." "a monster." "It's an old story." "It's how wars begin, it's how people turn on each other." "And, you know, it starts so simply too." "I am not you." "I am nothing like you." "And it is, each time, a lie." "Because underneath all the layers of, of fear and the protection, we are, at our core, the same." "We have the same needs, and we carry with us the same capacity for good and evil." "You are your patient." "Dr. Tom:" "You are your patient." "You are every patient you will ever have and every person you will ever meet." "And until you acknowledge that you have the capacity not just for kindness and compassion, but also for heartlessness and cruelty..." "Until you acknowledge that, you will never be able to start from here." "You'll never be able to help Josh." "(Whispers) Yeah." "I expect the final round of bids at five o'clock on Friday, otherwise you're out of the process, okay?" "(Repeated knocking at the door)" "Hi... again." "Erica, I told you last night, tell Sam to get her lawyer." "Look, uh, Josh, I'm not here about Sam." "I'm here, um, to talk about us." "I got a lot of work to do, so..." "I'll make this quick." "I'm just having trouble figuring out where to start." "It was hard enough to make myself come here." "Look, I don't know what this is about." "This is about the fact that, for a long time, Josh," "I, uh..." "I thought I was better than you." "That's how I acted, that's how I treated you, and I'm sorry." "You came all the way here to tell me that you're sorry that you thought you were better than me?" "I came here to tell you that I'm sorry for the times that I hurt you." "Yeah, you hurt me, Erica." "I cried myself to sleep every night." "Jesus." "You wanna make things right?" "Then spare me the big drama, okay?" "'Cause drama's the last thing I need right now." "So..." "I think you should leave." "Erica:" "(Takes a deep breath)" "Um..." "Fine, you can watch me work." "And once you get bored enough, you can let yourself out." "Uh..." "I treated you the way that I treated you because I wanted to put distance between us." "Because I couldn't deal with you..." "With the way..." "With what I felt from you." "Because I always felt it, Josh, even before you told me." "Why are you bringing this up?" "Because this thing between us that... that we can't talk about, that we've never talked about?" "It's affected our entire relationship." "I'm divorcing Sam, not you, Erica, okay?" "So you don't have to worry about our relationship." "(Inhales deeply)" "When you kissed me in Florida..." "Erica!" "Erica:" "I couldn't deal with your emotions" "I didn't want to." "So, instead, I treated you like a monster." "But you're not." "You were just... you were trapped inside of something that you couldn't find your way out of, and I know what that is like because I spent years trapped inside my own life." "What do you want me to say?" "Whatever you want to say." "I don't want to say anything to you." "(Sighs)" "(Sighs heavily)" "Fine." "It was awful, okay?" "It sucked." "I was the loser creep who wanted his sister-in-law." "Does that make you feel better?" "No." "(Whispered) Dunno..." "Does it make you feel better to know that I have felt like a loser ever since high school?" "(Laughs) I find that hard to believe." "Really?" "I couldn't sustain a relationship," "I couldn't figure out a career." "I spent years feeling like there was something wrong with me and... and like it would never get better and I would never be happy..." "And I am not pretending to know what it's like to be you, Josh, but..." "I see things differently now." "I see you differently now and..." "There are a lot of ways in which we're sorta similar." "Anyway, thank you for hearing me out." "Erica?" "Yeah?" "Do you, uh, still feel trapped?" "No." "What changed?" "I did." "I spent years holding onto regrets and wishing that I would've done things differently and... once I let that go," "things got a lot better." "♪ Tear and fears and feeling proud ♪" "♪ to say I love you right out loud. ♪" "♪ Dreams and schemes and circus crowds ♪" "♪ I've looked at life... ♪." "Erica:" "Have you ever felt at home in a crowd?" "Like you were part of something bigger and you felt this amazing energy that happens when people come together?" "How, despite the superficial differences, you know that deep down we're all the same?" "We have the same secret needs and the same wild dreams." "We walk around thinking our secret pain, our secret joy is so unique, when really, we all just want the same things:" "To be happy, to be safe, to be loved." "♪ I've looked at love from both sides now ♪" "♪ from give and take ♪" "♪ and still somehow ♪" "♪ it's love's illusions I recall ♪" "♪ I really don't know love. ♪" "♪ At all. ♪"