"This film is based on a true story." "Ah, there you are my fine fellows." "Well?" "What news from my ministers, this lovely morning?" "Lazy fuckers." "At ease." "I'll knock the shit out of ya." "So, you refuse to obey an order!" " Come on then, I dare you." " Hey look." " Mutiny on the village pond." " What a stupid twat." "Come here and say that." "I'll kick your balls to kingdom come." "Come on." "Yellow ice." "Quick, let's piss in the hole, so it doesn't freeze over." "Take aim, man." "Bull's eye!" "Knuffi, you chicken." "Are you feeling pissed off?" "Hey, there's Gustav." "Come and join us." "I don't know." " Perhaps I'd better not." " Make up your mind or it'll be too late." "Good bye, Knuffi!" "You were our best friend ever." "Actually, I never really liked him... but I guess he needs saving." "Well, here goes." "What you have done there, was a good deed," "Maybe, a wee bit too good." "You'll never get rid of him now." "I declare you'll be friends for life." "From now on your lives will be intertwined as intimately as a Pretzel." "A JOURNEY INTO BLISS" "What might have happened to our young friends?" "Well, why don't we have a look." "There they are." "Could the snowmen have told the truth?" "The might of the oracle has stunk them together like shit to a blanket." "And in a right shit hole too." "But life is full of changes." "One fine day, a beautiful, young maiden by the name of Eva showed up on their doorstep." "and the pair were ever so pleased to offer her a place in their attic." "Eva is delighted, and henceforth keeps house for them and cooks them many a tasty fish." "From Gustav's stomach the fish found its way to his heart." "But Knuffi, too, thinks Eva a tasty morsel." "One night Gustav and his beloved skedaddle, braving an uncertain future." "Leaving behind a broken heart." "The years roll by." "And Gustav and his little Eva in their snail-ship cover the whole wide world." "Be ye fruitful and multiply thus sayeth the Holy Book." "Eva blesses her Gustav with a whole gaggle of lively scallywags." "Also native tribes, believed by science to be extinct find aboard the snail-ship a swimming reservation." "Thank God, the first mate is not a whip-wielding slave driver but a softly growling fellow in a warm fur coat." "He is not however, the only four legged creature Captain Gustav has aboard." "Wherever our friends encounter a regime of injustice they help the oppressed in their struggle for freedom." "But, our globetrotters have grown weary." "And Captain Gustav looks forward to his well-deserved retirement, and a nice spot where he and his loved ones can settle down to a life of ease." "And now, here begins our little tale." "With a raucous racket the snail-ship's orchestra celebrates the imminent retirement." "On the piano: the first mate." "When he stumbles upon an unknown islet, not yet inked on any nautical charts, the Captain happily casts anchor." "Oh Gustav." "Captain..." "I'm coming too." "The whale's about to blow." "All the nice girls love a sailor." " You were turbo charged again." " You know me." " That was good." " Ahoy Cap'n." " Lay off now." " Always at it whenever I come." " You're a pain in the arras." " Now Cap'n," "Enjoyed your little nap?" "I could use one too." " Been tickling the ivories again?" " Whatever keeps the joint rocking." "And now we'll check out this place here." "Enjoy yourself." " Isn't it a bit late for that?" " Ooh, boss." "Let 'im." "Take the car." "Gustav's churlishness is well-founded." "For the bear is a notorious rascal who loves to put the pedal to the metal." " That's good of you boss." " Okay, whatever." "But you drive!" "Freshly waxed and filled up;" "that's how everyone on board knows Gustav's favorite toy..." "his propeller-car." " Come on!" "The coast is clear!" " Did you ask the Captain?" " The fuck we did." " Now, now." "Mind your language." " I'm afraid." " Frightened you'll croak?" "We're just asking for trouble." "Where's the car key?" "Never mind." "We'll hot wire the old banger." "Ladies and gentlemen." "Tickets, please." "Everybody hold on!" "Here we go!" "And so begins their little midnight jaunt, into the heart of the unknown isle." "Fasten your seatbelts, please!" "And put on your helmets!" "The boss has given me his keys." "Let's go." "Super, bear." "Pity the others have gone already." "Jeez, this can't be true!" "I say, first mate... you really know what's what with your crew!" " Three points starboard." " Three points starboard," "Oh shit. what's that?" "Hit the brakes!" "Now you're done for, bear." "I bet the car's already crashed." " Jeez, d'you think so?" " You'll be working as a dancing bear." "Millions get up at night to take a leak." "Here are two more." "Propaganda ministers of the island's King." "Hey man." "Look at all this steel." "And two men of steel." "Look, just what we need." "Sure thing." "What's this?" "Their First Mistake?" "The minister's bladder pressure is notorious throughout the island." "The ship's bijou cinema specialises in slapstick from the good old days." "Hello there." "What have we here?" " Can I see?" " What's showing today?" " Moby, dumb man." " Ha, Moby Dumb Man." "Are you cineastes" " Watch this one instead." " Who's it by?" "Anonymous, child." "Are we going to wait all day?" "Despite their lack of upbringing, the ministers are connoisseurs regarding the magic of the big screen." " What wankers, the public." " Wankers from the loony bin." "What do they think they're wearing?" " Pervy old gits." " Pervy old gits." "Give us a sweetie." " Very funny." " Like your dandruff, granddad." "This movie is for you, friends of the monarchy." "The birthday of the Island's King is imminent." "A hearty welcome to his cineastic torture chamber." " What kind of crap is this?" " No music!" "God, they must have spent a fortune on those shitty FX." " I know those guys." " I've seen them somewhere." " But I don't know where." " How do I look?" " Photogenic man." " Me too." "Look, the King." " He looks really nice." " What, you think that's nice?" "Quite right." "The Island trembles under a black shadow of the despotic ruler's whims." "Life counts for nothing." " Oh no, it looks so real." "C'mon, let's go." "I'm scared." " I wouldn't mind a scrap now, man." " Beating up the brats?" " You said it." " Wonder where the little buggers are?" "Let's make tracks." "Aroused by the power of the images, the propaganda ministers have evil on their minds." " Let's go for a ride, man." " You know you can't ride." "I can if you're the horse," " Did you think it was for real?" " Real shitty, shitty but real." " In the heart of the Island." " Look a golden castle." "A gilded monstrosity rises up from the ground, adorned with precious draperies." "I believe our bunny-rabbit is about to loose his driver's licence." "Just wait till he gets home." "Weird." "Everything smells of piss." "Well, what brings you to my cabin?" " Why aren't the others back yet?" " Oh, err, hmmm, well..." " And what's happened to my car?" " Well..." "What happened, with the car..." "Come on." "No bullshit." "If there's the slightest scratch on my car..." "Scratches, no." "But a bit knackered perhaps..." "like you." "Anyway, it was just for showing off." "Listen pal, you've not heard the last of this." "Up yours!" "Get this into your head." "So long as your paws are under my table." "I can't bear this." "What a fool I was, to take you on as a first mate." "Hi bear, where's Daddy?" " Up above, naturally." "In his cabin." " Ah, OK." " On the three-quarters floor." " I'm coming." "Hurry, hurry." "I showed him who's the boss, afloat." "Papa!" "Papa, papa..." "Children, children." "What a start to my retirement." "Papa, Papa, we've heard something amazing." " A really evil king." " Who's always at war." " And lives in a golden castle." " Dear oh dear oh dear." "And this weekend, it's his birthday." " Two of his men have been here already." " What a fibber." "One thing's for sure:" "The king of this island must be a real weirdo." "The sun's early light gleams through the forest of the mysterious island realm." "Deeply worried for the animals which had not even touched their little cots... the Captain's paramour sets out to look for her little friends." " What are you doing here?" " Looking for some manly wood." " Aren't you afraid of men?" " What a hick." "Why else would I be here?" " And what are you waiting for?" " For someone to take me to the King." "Yeah, aren't we all." "This waiting is killing me." "I smell... something fishy." "I do like a good tramp in the woods." "High up on the yellow wagon, two passionate skirt chasers." "Hey girls." "The King's throwing a party." "We need a couple of baby sitters." "These tender young lassies, who should really still be in school are only too easily seduced." "Listen up you broads." "There's a hoe down at the castle, so get a move on." "Wedged among the giggling young ladies Eva is also on her way to the castle." "Suddenly two royalist crones block the way." "Stop there!" "Being ladies of the old school, they are not stingy with their charms." "What the fuck are you doing?" "The King doesn't fancy grannies." "Daughter of Methuselah." "And bad breath." "Take the cart to the bingo tent." "Or do I have to slap you?" " Cunt one to cunt two..." "Over." " Ready for action." " Me to, know what I mean." " What a noise man." "Now piss off." "And take your artificial arse with you." "And shut your trap." " Just you wait, you bully." " I won't wait for you granny." " Bye." " Bye-bye." "Wifey has gone off-ship and the Captain is having a jolly good time." "Golden roasted, richer, smoother." "The famished crew also avail themselves of the opportunity." "Why don't we rock the boat." "What's wrong with you?" "The steaming brew recalls memories of his carefree bachelor life." " Look." " And what might that be?" "Look what we've found." "Oh dear." "Where did you find that?" "Never mind." "Go on, open it." "That's really old." "So boring." "Who's that." "It looks like Mummy." "Rubbish, Mummy doesn't have a driver's licence." "That's a long time ago, when you didn't need a driver's licence." " I'm Knuffi and this is the room." " Hmm, nice." "It's furnished." "I wanted unfurnished actually." "Nice dolly bird." "A tasty bit and sweet looking" "You're impossible." "And not fit for human company." "The snowmen were right." "Why, oh why did I have to drag Knuffi out of the pond." "Here you are, your luggage." " What's that crackling sound?" " I don't hear anything." " There are sparks flying." " Not here there aren't." "Perhaps the situation." "Who would have thought an old fart like me could catch fire like this again..." "I think I've got mixed up in his aura." "I just hope she doesn't notice our age difference." " Hey, you had the hots for Mum?" " Dad's on fire." " Oh, look. what is that?" " Oh dear, the picture with a love bite." "In the age of the One Night Stand" "True Love is but a stale joke from dusty bygone times." "Why do you cackle?" " Check this out." " Papa as a baby." "How cute." "Lively up yourself, girlie!" "Here I come with gifts." "What about wetting the old whistle, sweet maiden?" "Ménage a trois." "There's no future in it." " I'll take the suitcases." " And I the bedding." "Now, let's hit the road." " And then of course..." " They lived happily ever after." "You can tell that drivel to Mum." "She believes everything." "Here's your book of fairy tales." "Oh, I say..." "It's always the same." "As far as culture goes" "The Frogs just can't get enough of it." "Nice..." "Art one can touch." "No respect for the Frog King." "Don't be so immature." "Looks like we're in the Louvre." "Nah..." "It looks more to me like early, late Baroque." "Some Frogs are just too pretentious." "A thousand masterworks." "And all stink of piss." " Yoo-hoo, Kingie, please, come out!" " C'mon, we won't bite.." " They say he has beautiful skin." " And ever so tolerant and multicultural" " Into the pleasure garden." " Pleasure garden?" "What an opening to check out these musty old bricks without undue interference." "Who is making such beautiful music?" " Oh, please, no!" "Knuffi..." " Well shiver my timbers." "If it isn't that tiresome suitor from way back when, manhandling his harp." "Hey man, he's sure a hit with the women." "Way out of our league." "That's all very well, but where did they hang the steed with the golden helmet?" " Looking for your oats?" " Oh la la." "Two golden Princes." "Kiss me stupid." "Tomorrow you'll be in the King's army, crawling through the mud, until your nuts drop off." "What is it with Siegfried and Roy?" "God in heaven!" "Go back to your tigers." " And where's Roy?" " Where's your ticket man?" "You can kiss my arse." " I'll kick you up the arse." " Ouch, my wings." "Anyone else without a ticket." " Shit, I need to hide." " Hey, come out." " The nice man has a free pass for you." " I wasn't born yesterday." "Quick into the dark room." "Fancy paying for a ticket." "I should be safe here." "Owl?" "Bunny?" "Locust?" "Froggie?" " Bunny" " Thank heavens." "An exit." " This racket is pissing me off." " Me too, I'm bursting." "Hey man." "Take aim." "She'll mop up, Clementine." "By chance, Eva's gaze falls on the detonators for King Knuffi's birthday fireworks." "Fireworks." " Hey man, a peeping tom." " I'm not looking, really." "Guess what we'll do with you now?" " That's what the owl wondered too." " The owl?" "I don't want to know." "Really." "Thunderclaps." "There is a steel helmet waiting for you, too." " What nonsense." " Off to your fitting, Master Rabbit." "You won't let your comrade's down." " You've the wrong guy." " Get out." "Jeez, Eva." "This is the gents." " Hurry up." " But where too?" "Back to the ship." "Sorry." "The door!" "She must have been born in a barn." "I'll say this man, the spunk that made her was wasted." "Now then, let's see who's the one to be wasted." "Enticed by the smell of quails for the festive banquet, the mind of Eva has a tempting thought." "It won't be long, and Knuffi will have a real shit and a half." "There, your Majesty." "This should be enough to split you arsewise." "That's some fireworks I'm really looking forward to." "Our first mate has managed to ferret out a beehive." "I really wish I had a girl in every port." "brimming over with high octane nectar." "Pity, I'm such a bashful soul." "Meantimes Eva uses her feminine wiles to butter up the king with sweet tales from way back when." "Did you build this all yourself?" "Cute, it's all wobbling." "I always knew you were a smart cookie." "Breathe on me." "You're not an alcoholic are you?" " The last resort: frontal attack." " Don't you like me any more?" "What's with the waterworks?" "Stop blubbering." "I'll have no cry babies on my island." "This should cheer you up." "Your majesty!" "In honour of the day, nobility from all over the world have come hither." "Even the king of gourmets has arrived on an empty stomach." "They say his roast venison is quite passable." "But not enough fruit in the guest rooms." "What will we be served for dessert?" "Where can I freshen myself up?" "Provided one can do this here." "The bathroom is that way." "The conceited peacock makes a beeline for the Ministers' pissoir." " Ah, the lavatory." " Not again, you filthy swine." " This is our good Clementine." " Your Majesty, Milady." "Brain washing, Eva dear." "A tradition, here at the castle." "You're in luck Milady." "Just about to take the lid off." "Ooh, Eva." "Look at that." "As you can see, this really is filthy." "It needs a really good soak." "At forty degrees." "Preferably in cough mixture." "What do you say Eva?" "You women know about these things." "Would you want to go around with something like that?" " Next stop the washing machine." " No more dirty thoughts." "When they're dried out we can put them in again." "Isn't it lovely, Eva." "That clean fresh smell." "Washes whiter than white." "And best, here round the brain stem." "No collar grime." "All the grey cells, washed clean out." "And everything shrunk nicely down to size again" "You see, Eva, that's what I call a really enjoyable Birthday celebration." "Everything okay?" "Your Majesty." "Goodbye, and thank you very much." "I truly am not worthy." "Really I'm not." "Something must've gone wrong." "Unlucky with the washing machine, lucky with booze." "At long last, the tipsy bear returns to the scene of his vomit." "This place here looks really unkempt and the lawn could sure use a good mowing." "I'm just saying." "When Eva opens up her little purse, the hours just fly by" "Guess who's here?" "How do I look?" "Well you've certainly plastered it on." "What's with all the silly war paint?" " Just smell this." " Your majesty, dinner is served" "Hail your Majesty, full of grace, the Lord be with thee." "Blessed art though amongst rulers." "Wherever two or three congregate in your name, there I will be, also." " Man, he's got it bad." " Yeah!" "High time he got hitched." "Oh yes, I am not worthy to enter thy abode." "Some delicious quail?" "I'll just have a salad today." "In this case, my dove, I'll be a veggie, too." "Disgusting, I've never seen him like this." "Hey man, this shit gives you the runs." "Under the table a special treat has been waiting for the king of gourmets." "A la bonheur..." "Fromage Royal." "Here, your Highness!" "Happy Birthday to you." "Sorry, I need the little girl's room." " What did I say." " How beautiful." "Salad's a diuretic." "Where the hell am I?" "And someone else, too, is in a hurry to get home." "Holy Mother of God, show me the way out of this forest." "Your majesty, your majesty just a word, a little word, your health." "Why is everyone so nice to me today?" "Whatever." "Suddenly an icy breath from the past wafts through the throne room." "Knuffi, you chicken." "Are you feeling pissed off?" "As quick as the spook appears, it vanishes again." "Hands off!" "Wait till the king gives the sign." "Will you join me for a piss?" "Sure man." "I'd be delighted." "At last." "Now the hungry can get stuffed." "How did Schopenhauer put it?" "Or was it Mr. Creosote." "They've started the fireworks." "Without me?" "The King of Hearts." "The assumed victory over the tyrant is celebrated enthusiastically aboard the snail-ship with the evergreen, poptastic Saucer Lip Girl." "Straight in at Number One." "Saucer Lip Girl storms right to the top of the Endangered People's Hit Parade." "Time to scrub off Knuffi's sweaty paws." "Well, king of hearts," "I suppose by now the palace walls are splattered with your blue blood." " King of Hearts?" " Look who's here..." "Gustav will be surprised by the tale his little Eva has to tell." "Well, let's have it." "Whose head did you turn this time?" "A heart, broken for the second time, is inconsolable." "Oh where can destiny have tossed you, my dove chick?" "Where indeed?" "As luck would have it." "The lackeys can't bear to see their king suffer and gladly sacrifice their afternoon off." "But all searching for Knuffi's new girlfriend is in vain and leaves but one conclusion:" " Robbers!" " Any news from Eva's kidnappers yet?" "Man, this will be some heavy ransom claim." "Small potatoes, man." "Any news?" "And so Knuffi orders his lackeys to fine comb the whole kingdom." "Fortunately Gustav has already weighed anchor..." "Hoist the main sail!" "...for the inhospitable climate of the island." "All engines... full speed ahead!" "This hasty departure gave birth to a familiar quotation:" ""When thoughts turn to Knuffi in the night..." ""restful sleep flees from my side"" "Three points to larboard." "Good for me." "Alarm drill..." "A great opportunity to soak myself in the tub without being disturbed." "The decrepit old tub is fired up once again." " What is it now?" "Kaput!" " Engine failure." "Oh gee!" "What bad luck!" "At this very moment, the yellow peril are approaching the shore." " Open up!" " We're the Police!" "So much for a quiet night in." "In my bathtub I'm the Captain." "Captain?" "What are you on?" " Loofah'" " Back to your post, now." " Sorry, I'm taking a bath." " Get out of my tub NOW, lardarse!" " Or I'll skin you alive." " Lardarse yourself." "The enemy is on board." "Check the periscope." "Who have we here?" "What's with the silly, long neck?" "Is that supposed to be a giraffe?" " Captain!" "Giraffe in the ballroom." " What a bunch of wankers." "No manners at all." "He needs straightening out, right boss?" " Load the starfish!" " Load the starfish!" "Fire!" "What have we here?" "It's empty, man." "But still warm." "Our little pullet can't be far off." "So what?" "Who gives a shit which bride will end up in the royal bedchamber?" " Hey, man, you think what I'm thinking?" " I'll call the Captain." "See that." "Teddy here wants to be a hero." " No, no, not at all." " So Mr Bruin, let's have your fur coat." " And put this rag on you." " No!" "No!" " Man, you asked for it." " He's a thick one." "I can't get him zipped up, he's too fat." "Then send him to hell without his pelt." " Hurry, into the tub." " Let's scram." "Faster!" "Faster!" " Hurry up!" " Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Women and children first!" " Shut up." " Hurry!" "Hurry!" " Listen up everyone." " The kids have forgotten their butties." "In the name of His Majesty the King!" " Run!" "I'll distract them." " Miss Eva, your new boyfriend's waiting" " Here comes Mr. Punch." " Hey man." "Punch." "I still have a bone to pick with you." " Where are you Punchy boy?" " Here I am." "Here's Punch." "Come on Jack, out of your box." "I can't." "I'm in here with Judy." "Ooh!" "Punch has gone." "Just what we need." " Sure, I've seen Mr. Punch." " I prefer the crocodile or grandmother." " Hey, Look at this." " Hello-ooh!" "Now, can't we be friends again?" "Gladly." "Do you have any plans for tonight yet?" "The Propaganda Ministers betray no respect for the dignity of old age." "Have you been passed by the meat inspector?" " You look way past your sell by date." " Expired." " Expired!" " Let's dump 'em." "Are you still free?" "Your Majesty!" "We've got them." "Evie!" "Evie, it's me." "Knuffi." "She must still be in shock." "Unwrap her." " Ugh!" "Cuddle bears." " Helloo sweetie!" " You dummy." " There's something about him." "Sure, but what?" "Just look at his greasy hair!" "Disgusting!" "And he wants to be our king." "He's got nothing in his breeches." "Throw them out!" "Off with you, randy old hags." "What does she mean, nothing in my breeches." "I want my Evie." "Here!" "I've got her." "The decaying cellar vaults of the snail-ship are the realm of a very ancient, myopic robot." "What is..." "Who..." " Cellar master?" " I can't believe it." "At last, the boss." "It's been some time since last we met." "Small wonder, you hardly ever show yourself down here." "Ah, yes, still the same old grump." "And... to what do I owe the honor?" "Well?" "No longer happy up there in your boss' dwellings?" " What kind of rubbish is that?" " Or cast adrift by your mutineers?" "The deep sleep of the Captain's children is interrupted by a soft spring shower." " The early bird catches the worm." " These little chicks'll get my worm." "Urine therapy, man." " Let me go." " Put me down." "A trusty diving suit from Marks and Spencer is an indispensable prop for a captain in pre-retirement." "Fold it up neatly and tuck it away in its little case." "There they are." "And with nothing to eat since yesterday." " I want to speak to my lawyer." " Hey man, you stink of piss." "Cellar master, wait for me." "Come on fatso." "Catch me if you can." "I really must slip the kids something to eat." "Even though I'm so hungry I could eat a horse." " Wait till I get my belt to you." " Hey mister, that hurts." "I think I'll just have a little nibble." "Argh, I'll never find my way out of here." "Why don't you fetch me a cup o' coffee." "Cellar Master!" "Here, boss." " You're fired." " Good." "I can leave." "I think my teeth have forgotten how to chew." "C'mon now." "I'll double your salary." " Triple." " Whatever." "But get me out of here." " Let go of me." " Next stop garbage dump." " Well, what now?" " Her loving heart for the kids leads the worried mother with a sleepwalker's assuredness into bad company." "Ahh, so you did escape the kidnappers?" "This calls for a big celebration." "Will you sit on my lap a for a little while?" "And double time at night?" "And a thirteenth month bonus?" "Yes, yes!" "Early retirement at forty." "And a lover's tryst with your wife." "Have a little night cap." "It will perk you up." "This very night Eva finds out about Kissy-Kiss, Inc." "I know what you want." "I must keep my head." "What a maze." "Maybe I should go ask Alice." "It's not true." "Is that Eva?" "How did she end up here?" "Who'd have thought it." "Letting herself be picked up by anyone." "What you need is something warm." "Something nice and cuddly." "Hm, just what we need:" "How did you get in here?" " Help!" " Off to the front line." " Please no!" " Oh well, tomorrow is another day." " Here, a neck bolster, nice and fluffy." " Let go!" " Now I'll go and order the banns." " Just what I need." "And you my friend, will be dispatched to the front." "Sweet dreams..." "And all of me." "Nighty night." "Don't let the bed bugs bite." "She reeks of booze." "That's not like her at all." "What's that delicious smell?" "A nice stiff grog!" "Yum, yum, yum!" "I feel a bit woozy." "Ah, a four legged critter." "Hello, sweetie." "All alone tonight?" "What about the two of us, eh?" "Watch out, here comes Daddy." "I hope you won't fall in love with me." "Mind if I brush up against you?" "My oh my, you're really hot to trot." "Done!" "At the peak of lust, strange things begin to happen to the rabbit's body." "What's happening?" "Who am I?" "What now?" "Hello Dolly!" "All alone are you?" "And free tonight." "You sure are well stacked." "Well, how am I?" "Here's looking at you kid." "Open up, you bitch!" "I know you're inside!" "Not so loud." "We're not alone." "I've got the mother of all hangovers." "Funny..." "I don't remember this." "I need to sit down for a bit." "Peek-a-boo!" "Are you back again?" "What's this, sabotage?" "I don't really know exactly." "Honestly." "Something's fishy here." "This thing goes straight to my research department." "I can't have you vanishing all the time." "Treasures like you get lost far too easily." "No more." "Stay here!" "Come back!" "Now's the time to bid adieu, helpful comrade, made from scrap and lubricating oil, For the Captain's found himself at last." "The boastful king is in his wedding mood, and deigns to show his wife-to-be around his estate." "Horsey horsey don't you stop Just let your feet go clippetty clop." " Where are we going?" " Giddy up!" "Little by little the ice cold monarch becomes as soft as butter." "My little Eva." "Happiness at last." "I need to puke in the woods." " Here's someone coming round the bend." " At last!" "People again." "And I thought you'd gone back to the Congo." "Look at the lovely present I've got." "A golden muff." "The King is a committed monogamist." "and is deeply convinced a relationship should last for ever and after." "Back home again, and pleasant news awaiting the king." " Heil Knuffi!" " We cracked it boss." " Now we know what sort of beast it is." " Beast?" "Where?" "Your wacky bunny rabbit." "Heil!" "What've you been up to?" "Where did you spring from?" "From the Third Reich, boss." " Real far out party boss." " A day and night party." "They're really cooking with gas." "They're into some serious shit." "Their boss is a fatty with a little toothbrush." "How about telling your king what's going on here?" "It seems that when the cat's away the mice will play." "What's that lovely thing on their arms?" "With the bunny you can knock around on time any which way." "Forwards, back." "Whichever way you please." "Much nicer than my carpet beaters." "I, too, want something nice like that." "Whatever way..." "The bunny rabbit's mine." "Hand it over to me." "Yes, your Majesty." "Even a king needs to relax his soul." "Good thing I have my bunny rabbit." "But I'm not sure I like it here." "If only my pullet weren't so horny for me." "Just wait, you rascal." "I'll tell you what's what!" "Now to get going." " Man, the boss is cracked." " Emotional blockage, man." "I completely lost it." "But I'm together again." " Wanna drop out." " Bad karma, man." " I'll reconsider my life." " He needs a social safety net." "I need new impulses." "Should I bring my bodyguards?" "I'm the biggest shot in the universe." "Hop on." " Eva, we're coming!" " Gustav?" " Just you wait now, you megalotwit!" " Megalotwit?" "Now we got him." "The biggest megalomaniacal twit of all times!" "Gustav!" "Where is he?" " Vanished into thin air." " What are you driveling about?" "Don't you get it?" "He has a time machine." "Is technology that advanced?" " That much and much more." " Eva." "A dumb ass like him mustn't be allowed to roam World history like that." "The fate of mankind is at stake." "Back on board, Eva has an idea." "What?" "Our bedroom is supposed to save the world?" " At last the penny has dropped." " You cannot be serious." " Make one big pile of the bedding." " How do we put it together?" " We don't." "It does it itself." " You've got a screw loose." "Mummy, Daddy!" "Look what we found in the castle." " What is it?" "A sperm mill?" " Nope." "Time machine." "I know that stuff, it knocks you out." "Now it's all coming back to me." " We need an animal." " Here I am." "Gustav!" "Eva!" "Let me out." "Stop staring and open the door." "Imagine." "Only you can prevent human history from being rewritten." "Me?" "Super." "No problem." "And now, bon appetit." "Yummy, yummy, yummy." "I can only think of one thing." " He's looking at us." " Totally gross!" "Three broads all for me!" "Yippie!" "All you need is the right technique!" " C'mon, take me." " Are you impotent?" " Not saying." " Poor little stumpywumpytail." " Must be all the additives in his food." " Knackers even the strongest hamster." "Poor little eunuch." "The stench of the aphrodisiac awakens the snail-ship from it's deep sleep, going straight for the brew with momentous consequences." "Holymotherofgod, why am I having such uncouth thoughts in my head?" "I must confess." "My God, who's that hot looking model?" "A very good evening to you, my lady." "Any plans for tonight?" "Say I'm the best." " Hope the Good Lord won't find out." " Now I've seen everything!" "D'you like it?" "How am I?" " You bring out the beast in me." " Holy fuck a duck!" "That was a rape if ever I've seen one." "Done!" "The union of church and ship did bring forth a monstrous vessel." "Buuuut..." "will it function as a time machine?" "Slam on the brakes!" "Only a matter of minutes now." "There you are my fine fellows." "Well?" "What news from my ministers, this lovely morning?" "Lazy fuckers." "At ease." "Now all we need to do is wait" "I don't need a cannon to fix a wretch like you." "I'll kick your balls to kingdom come." "And now watch who'll turn up next." "Gee, that's you!" "You from way back." "Cute." "Sweetie." "The little scamp." "Here, little boy." "This here is for you." "What is it?" " Snow from yesterday." " There's someone in the water." " What's your name Mister?" " Me, I'm your Uncle Gustav." "Gustav?" "That's funny." "Just like me." "I am you." "We are the same." "But that's something you can't understand yet." "You must roll the ball on top of the hole." "Hmm." "Not that easy." "And so, by crafty Captain Gustav, the oracle of the snowmen is outwitted." "Having returned to present times again, he gathers all his friends aboard..." "Don't dawdle." "... and fires up the engines one last time." "Full speed ahead and no more experiments." "Then full sail for the Bavarian highlands." "In the Alps, a cosy cabin." "And that's how Captain Gustav exchanged ship for fish, a decision he never regretted." "And you'll be delighted to know they fried and danced happily ever after." "Subtitles:" "Epix2 and Corvusalbus"