"Here--your one and only source" "Into the scandalous lives of manhattan's elite." "Andr?" "Leon talley is raving" "About the finale dress, loved it." "My dress?" "Is that what you told headmistress Queller," "That you don't care about all the school" "You've missed?" "I told her I'm not coming back" "I tried to write, but there was something in the way." "I couldn't focus." "You'll get no letter of recommendation from me." "The captain is being charged" "With embezzlement and fraud." "This is an absolute disaster." "Serena is in "women's wear daily." "I'm just tired of trying to hold myself back" "So I don't outshine you." "Excuse me?" "From now on, I'm gonna be who I am." "The rain in spain" "Stays mainly" "In the plain." "Again." "Th.." "Rain..." "In..." "Spain..." "Stays..." "Mainly in the..." "Plain?" "Well, I'm a straight-"a" student, I am." "The rain in..." "Spain..." "The rain in spain" "Stays mainly in the plain." "By George, I think she's got it." "I do?" "No." "She does." "Rise and shine, early birds." "Gossip girl here." "We all have dreams-- some good, some bad," "Some fun and freudian..." "Morning, miss Blair." "And some are the dreams we've had our whole lives." "Dorota, can you believe that in just three short hours," "I'll be stepping through the gates of yale?" "You used to sleep in your father's sweatshir" "Every night until it fell apart." "I'll get a new one," "Right after I attend" "The Dean of admissions' private reception, of course." "Most candidates think it's an urban legend," "But daddy was invited when he visited." "Your mother already left for work," "But she was very specific about your breakfast." "Some kombucha, miss Blair?" "Since the Dean handpicks the guests" "Right after their interviews, I'm a shoo-in." "If there's one thing I know, it's that I give good interview." "I could make larry king cry." "I am so proud of you." "And I'm so ready" "To be surrounded by people more like me and less like..." "Her." "You've got to be kidding me." "Ready?" "Oh, yeah." "Um, I'm all packed up." "You excited, me at your alma mater?" "So I guess that means you turned down" "This, uh, personal invitation to tour yale?" "Brown's always been my plan," "Just like it was for you." "And I loved it there" "But if yale had invited me, I would have said yes." "The, uh, invitation is handwritten, Serena, in cursive." "Yale is for overachieving bookworms" "And preppies-- the Blairs of the world." "Even though the two of us aren't exactly on speaking terms," "There's no way I would step on that particular land mine." "Miss Serena and you are still not speaking?" "Not a word in a week, though I can't seem to escape her." "Ever since my mother's show," "Manhattan has turned into Serenaville." "I heard Marc Jacobs named a purse after her." "Well, I simply don't understand the fascination." "Fortunately, yale is out of her reach." "It's okay, Serena." "You don't have to hide the photo." "I've seen it." "I'm sorry they called you my unidentified friend." "Well, I guess it's better than "mother." what's in the bag?" "It's my dress for the fall dinner at the Frick." "Eleanor sent them over." "I don't know why there's two." "This one's a little edgier than I thought, but I like it." "Apparently it's for me." "Oh, this must be mine." "It is a really nice color, though." "Dad, what do you think of this color?" "Of the paper?" "It's white." "No, no, no." "It's not white." "It's soft ecru." "This is--that's white." "I like the ecru myself," "But I'm not sure about the font." "Don't worry." "You'll be fine" "More than fine." "You're the perfect yale" "Candidate." "Maybe, but i-i can't help thinkin" "That yale is for presidents, not Humphreys." "As the man who cursed you with the Humphrey moniker.." "I didn't say "cursed." "cursed" would be cruel." "I now feel compelled to give a speech." "Daniel, my son, you have near perfect grades," "Excellent s.A.T.S, more talent than money could ever buy." "Yeah, but..." "After that, you find a "but"?" "What if it's not enough?" "If that's not enough, then there's something wrong" "With yale, not you." "Thanks, dad." "All right, well, I'm--i'm off." "It's just me, the best english department in america" "And a hundred other highly competitive" "Extremely nervous, wannabe yalies." "Get excited, Archibald." "We are three hours away from horny women's studies majors" "Wanting to work out all their anger towards men" "In their bunk beds." "My heart's still set on u.S.C." "I-i just wish my mom wouldn't push" "Yale so hard." "I think she's only pushing i 'cause the vanderbilt side of her family practically owns it." "Think of it this way." "Yale is your safety school." "I mean, I guess I could get away" "From all the drama on the other side of my family" "And go someplace where they don't know me or" "The captain." "We blow off the formal visit cra" "And focus on what really matters" "Creating your own freshman 15." "Are you not seriously considering" "Going to yale either?" "I'm, uh," "Evaluating colleges based on secret societies" "Yale has the" "The skull and bones." "My goal is to get inside their inner sanctum." "And how exactly are you planning to do that?" "By showing up." "This weekend concludes college visits." "The schools you will be visiting" "Harvard, yale and brown-- are among the best in the world." "You are ambassadors" "Of Constance billard and St. Jude's," "As well as your own families." "We urge you to present yourselves" "In the best possible light." "Good luck." "I wonder what lucky school" "Will be the subject of the next nursery rhyme" "Penned by brooklyn's lamest fiction writer?" "Actually, Chuck, I think the Dean of admissions at yale" "Will actually appreciate my ability" "To write about, uh, damaged characters." "Looks like we'll be spending the weekend together" "How nice." "Say hello to the characters" "On public transportation for me." "So you're off to yale?" "Your deductive reasoning skills are perfect" "For a place like brown." "A place like brown?" "An enclave of trustafarians and children of celebrities" "Who major in drum circles" "And semiotics, whatever that is." "I can't wait for you to come home next thanksgiving" "A militant veganista, anemic and proud." "Brown is an ivy league school." "Everyone knows that the only real ivies" "Are the holy trinity-- harvard, yale and princeton." "I know you may find this hard to believe," "But not everyone wants to go to yale" "Because not everyone wants to be Blair Waldorf." "Not everyone can be." "Since we're not friends anymore, let me speak frankly." "You're not that smart." "You lack focus and discipline." "Charm is all well and good," "But in the real world, knowledge is power." "You wouldn't make it" "Past the first round of admissions at yale," "No matter how hard you tried." "Have fun in Providence." "Oh, and, you know," "Maybe you can get your hair dreadlocked while you're there." "Gossip girl's hardly a war buff, but I did cram" "For a quiz or two on the american revolution." "The last time new haven was invaded was in 1779." "Hey, mom." "Change of plans." "Tell the driver we're going to yale." "Heads up, b." "There's a cannonball coming your way." "Oh, after that shower, there won't be any hot water left" "In the building." "I wasn't in the shower the whole time." "I was waiting for something." "I got here as fast as I could." "I know." "I, uh, saw you running up the" "Block from my window." "What's going on here" "Did you know that Vanessa's applying for n.Y.U." "Next fall?" "Something you wouldn't be able to d" "Without finishing high school." "Which she's doing by homeschooling." "Which she has to do because she has to work to support herself." "Living as an adult when you're a teenager" "Is not something any parent wants for their" "Child." "Well, what about what I want for me" "Well, until you're 18," "What you want gets trumped by what I want." "Plan "b."" "Come to the atelier with me today." "Come with you?" "I'll make you a deal." "Spend the day with me," "And by the end of the day, if you honestly think" "That I should go back to Constance on" "Monday, I will." "Jenny, I've seen all your designs" "Heard about your internship all summer long." "What more is there?" "Well, things are different now." "Well, at least we'll be moving forward in one way or another." "It's a deal." "You mean it?" "You have my word." "Thank you!" "We hear there's nothing like yale in october" "The crisp air, the turning leaves," "The invasion of prospective freshmen." "Better hurry up, lonely boy." "Your future's waiting." "To summarize, i-i really feel that I have something to say." "Well, by all means, say it." "Via my writing." "Uh, with--with its world-class english department," "Yale would be the ideal place for me to grow" "As a--as a writer, to--to flourish" "And, uh, thrive." "Kudos to you and your inner thesaurus, mr." "Humphrey," "But there's a problem with your application." "A-a-a pr--no, there's um, I double--i triple-checked it." "It seems you only have one letter of recommendation" "From J.L. Hall." "Noah Shapiro declined to write on your behalf." "Um, mr." "Shapiro and I had creative differences," "But--but if you look further down my application," "You'll see that I spent the summer" "Interning with Jeremiah Harris." "A fact which mr." "Harris" "Has not been able to confirm himself." "Oh, um, did you--did you call him early in the morning?" "'cause he's not-- he's not a-a morning person." "I mean, he's not an afternoon person either." "If you try, like, after 7:00-- mr." "Humphrey," "If you want your application to stand out" "You need another letter, one about your work." "Another letter from whom and how?" "This is yale." "If you haven't noticed," "We traffic in brick buildings full of professors." "I suggest you put on your walking shoes," "Head to the english department" "And find someone to read your work." "I thought we were gonna do something." "What happened to your master plan," "Finding the skull and bones?" "You don't find them." "They find you." "Hmm." "That's good." "So we'll just sit here and wait." "I mean, there's a football game at 1:00" "Or a tour of the university art gallery at 3:00." "Good luck sitting on your ass." "Hey." "Excuse me." "Can I ask you a question?" "What the hell?" "Come on, get him!" "(grunts)" "Oh, my." "The Dean hasn't laughed like that in years." "It was an utter delight to meet you, miss Van Der Woodsen." "What a lovely surprise." "Oh, and who doesn't like a surprise?" "I do hope you enjoy the rest of your visit." "Thank you so much." "Looks like he's ready for you." "Shall we, miss Waldorf?" "I've never been more prepared." "So whatever major you decide on, you can mix up with electives." "Yale's are better than most." "Oh, really?" "Mm-hmm." "Well, what's your favorite?" "It's a toss-up between the role of sex in art" "And great hoaxes in archaeology." "Those are seriously classes?" "Mm-hmm." "What school are you here from?" "St. Jude's in new york." "St. Jude's?" "Then you must know, uh, Nate Archibald." "I heard he's on campus this weekend." "Why does that name sound familiar?" "He's the son of Howard "the captain" Archibald." "We've been talking about him in econ." "The guy's like a modern Milken." "Oh." "Hey, uh, Jordan, do you want to show me around campus?" "I'd love to see it." "Sure, but before I go anywhere with a stranger," "I think maybe you should tell me your name." "Oh, my name, of course, um, is Dan." "Dan Humphrey." "All right." "Chuck Bass, heir to Bass industries," "Champion of the legendary lost weekend." "Rumor has it you've slept with more "maxim" covers" "Than John Mayer." "And better, I might add." "If our intel's correct, you're our prime candidate" "From next year's class, but we don't take anything on hearsay." "We need to know firsthand" "If you're as good as your advertising." "Well, I come prepared." "How about a little private party to kick things off?" "What do you have in mind?" "I have to say," "Your application is most impressive, miss Waldorf." "There's just one thing I'd like to know." "Tell me something about you that isn't in that packet." "Oh." "Not in there?" "Do you like to drive race cars?" "Can you cook authentic szechuan?" "The young lady before you told me delightful story." "She was recently in a fashion show just for fun." "I know I must seem rather traditional" "Compared to that young lady," "But isn't tradition what yale is all about?" "Well, yes, but we've been trying to change that image." "Too stfy." "So?" "Well..." "I'm aware I lack some people's" "Easy grace with strangers," "And I don't exactly make you feel" "Like you've known me forever even though we just met." "When I laugh," "You might not smile just at the coquettish sound of it." "And I may not be "spontaneous"" "Or "delightful" or "full of surprises,"" "And my hair might not sparkle when it catches the light..." "Everything worth knowing about me is in that folder." "I made sure of it." "Well, isn't there anything else you'd like to ask me?" "Maybe about what my plans are for tonight?" "Uh, there's so much to do on campus." "I'm sure you'll find something." "It was so nice to meet you." "Right." "Uh, good luck then." "Oh, god." "Great hoaxes in archaeology" "Is that even a class?" "What are you doing, Serena?" "Oh, these lovely people" "Were just showing me the course catalog." "No, here." "Yale." "Yale is mine." "Well, I'll admit, I came to punish you" "For the things you said to me this morning." "Fine." "Consider me punished." "You can go home now." "I actually like it here." "The campus is beautiful, the people are so nice," "And do you know how great the drama" "School is?" "Of course I do." "It's world-renowned" "The Dean made me realize that by being so set on brown," "I closed myself off to all other options." "Well, that's a lovely epiphany." "I'm afraid it's irrelevant." "It's not as if you'd actually get in here." "Hello?" "An intimate gathering at the Dean's house tonight?" "I'd be honored." "Thank you." "You were invited to my gathering." "You might want to make other plans." "She said I was her last call." "Of all the things" "Nate..." "My mom..." "The girls at school" "You wouldn't take this from me..." "Because if you do, I swear I will take you down." "I'm not taking anything from you, Blair." "I was invited." "And as for taking me down, I'd love to see you try." "When it comes to war," "The rule is never retreat, never surrender." "But whoever said that never met the new Serena." "Spotted--little Jenny Humphrey" "Off her high horse" "And in high demand." "Did you look at the resort samples?" "Eleanor wants your opinion." "Oh, no, I didn't, but I'll do that right now." "And we got in the chambray you like." "We need your advice on what patterns they go with." "I didn't realize it was bring your father" "To work day." "Yes, well, it was Jenny's ide" "To show me why this is so important to her." "Uh-huh." "Do you have a moment?" "Just." "I gave Jenny my word about something this morning," "But I'm not sure if I can keep it." "I need your help." "What can I do for you" "Fire her." "I will do no such thing." "Fashion is a young person's career," "And this is Jenny's moment." "She's only 15 years old." "The opportunity can wait till she's ready." "Do you remember the dreams you had" "When you were 15, mr." "Humphrey?" "What if they all started to come true?" "Would you have told them to wait?" "Just make sure they're up for anything." "This crowd can get particular." "Well, I know you're not a geography whiz," "But you aware that Providence is in" "Rhode island?" "I don't have time to explain" "I've been invited to the Dean's house tonight." "I have to get ready." "The Dean's house?" "Uh-huh." "Nice." "What's your answer to his question?" "Yes?" "No, no, no. "what person, al or imagined, living or dead," "Would you most like to have dinner with?"" "The rumor is, if your answer impresses the Dean enough," "It's gets you on the short list for early admission," "Or so says Blair." "Oh, I should have given my spot to her." "You got invited, and she didn't?" "You're lucky to be alive." "Yeah, well, I won't be much longer" "If I don't find an answer fast." "Steal Blair's." "She has no use for it anymore." "No." "No, I can't, no matter how good it is." "George Sand." "I did not want to know that." "And how do you even know that?" "Wait." "Why does Blair want to go to dinner" "With some guy named George?" "A hot girl named George." "She dressed like a ma" "And apparently is the Dean's favorite writer." "And I know this because talking with Blair" "About how she's going to get into yale gets her really" "Chuck, no." "You just told me two things I never wanted to hear," "And one is gonna haunt me for the rest of my life." "Okay, before we go any further..." "I have to know something." "Tell me the truth." "As a writer," "What do you think of my kiss" "Our kiss" "Um, that's a tough one." "Okay, you're right." "It's too broad." "Let's just talk "cholera."" "Very painful." "Um, no, I'm not kidding." "I tried to read it, and I couldn't get through it." "It's ridiculous." "You're funny..." "And sweet." "Not like most writers I meet." "Hello?" "Hi." "Jordan Steele?" "Do I know you?" "No, I was told by the other t.A.S" "That you work for the chair of the lit" "Department." "Yeah." "Um, can you come back later, maybe" "I apologize for hunting you down now, but I'm--i'm desperate." "I need someone to read my work and write a letter" "Before the weekend's out," "And i-i was, uh, I was hoping you could help me." "Nate?" "Um, help you what?" "Th-that's, uh," "That's Nate Archibald" "No, that's Dan Humphrey." "N--what?" "Nate Archibald." "Dan Humphrey." "No, she was really into me, and next thing I know," "She's throwing a book at my head." "Yeah," "Faulkner." "It looked like a first edition" "Not that you'd know." "No," "What I do know is that you didn't have to mess it up for m" "Right then and there." "Well," "What should I have done, watch you continue to screw u" "My last chance at making a connection" "In the lit department for pseudonymous sex?" "No, that's not why I did it." "Is it funny for you?" "Because my future's" "Not a joke." "It's not." "Just let me explain, okay" "Look, Nate, I'm sure that your life is complicated" "With--with your family and, um, I don't know, girls," "But you can't pretend to be me." "Maybe it's okay to use people like that in your world," "But it's not in mine." "Do ever get tired of carrying around" "That chip on your shoulder, Dan?" "No wonder Serena dumped you." "Hello, shirley." "I would like an invitation" "To the private reception at the Dean's house tonight," "And you're going to get me one." "I'm sorry." "I'm not in charge of the Dean's private affairs." "I have it on good authority that you are," "And I need to get back in the good graces of the Dean." "Interviews are so stressful for you students." "Check your e-mail." "18th century." "Do you know how rare a pair is from that era?" "I had someone at Christie's put them on hold" "Just in case." "1100 Hillhouse avenue." "Poor s." "She should know b.'s rules by now." "When someone leaves you off the list," "Don't get mad." "Get in." "Thank you." "Well?" "I'm impressed." "You're clearly valued here." "You handle yourself very professionally." "Thank you." "But..." "I think you should go back to school." "But you just said you were impressed." "I don't..." "I don't understand." "I'm sorry, sweetheart." "I just think school's too important." "Okay." "If that's what you think," "That's what you think," "We made a deal, and I agreed to it, so..." "I have to say, I thought there'd be some yelling." "You said you'd give me a day, and you did." "Can, um, can you at least take me" "To complete one last errand before we go home?" "Sure." "Thanks." "Trying to come up with an answer for the Dean's parlor game?" "You manipulated your way in here?" "I get what I want, Serena, just like I'm gonna win tonight." "What's your answer?" "Oh, no, let me guess." "Lauren conrad." "Try George Sand." "Wait." "That's-- your answer?" "Not anymore." "If you're gonna cheat your way in, then why should I play fair?" "Oh, and I heard that the Dean asks his question" "In alphabetical order, so since "v" comes before "w,"" "It looks like the answer is all mine." "How kind of you." "You gentlemen wanted a Chuck Bass party." "Your party has arrived, straight from..." "I can't tell you where they're from actually," "But they're the best money can buy." "Before you ask, they don't speak english," "And they don't care." "By the way, that's not one for each of you." "They do their best work in threes." "Not bad, Bass, but you're not done." "The girls are all right, but they're just girls." "You still need to prove your loyalty." "We want Nate Archibald." "We know you're tight with him." "We know he's on campus." "Archibald's not worth your time." "We think he is." "My family lost our compound in Newport" "Because of his father." "Pull him in." "Take him down." "You've got one hour." "If you want in, you'll bring us Archibald." "Aiment-vous les films du Lelouch?" "Oh, j'adore Lelouch." "Roman de gare" "Ait un de mes films pr cet ann" "Et toi?" "Actually, it's "vous," as a sign of respect." "I'm sure that's why you don't know it very well." "Blair Waldorf." "Enchant?" "Mademoiselle." "You were my father's favorite teacher." "I've been looking for you." "You inspired his expatriation to france." "I'd love for you to hear about it." "Shall we?" "Oh, oui." "Where have you been?" "I got tied up." "Hey, look." "You wouldn't want to leave tonight, would you?" "I mean, I think I am completely done with this place." "Did you strike out?" "More like abruptly thrown out." "People here know who I am." "They know all the stuff about my dad." "Plus, there was this whole thing with Dan Humphrey." "Well, I'd love to say, "tell me all about it" and mean it" "But since I can't, why don't we just" "Meet up and get blazed?" "Yeah, yeah, okay" "Hey, look." "There's this place off campus called Mike's bar." "I'll meet you there." "Stay put." "Perfect." "It's done." "Let's go." "Although I love henry viii, I prefer sir thomas more." "I think it's great" "That pope benedict canonized him when he did." "Oh, thank you." "Don't you mean pope pius xi?" "That's quite right, miss, uh..." "Van Der Woodsen." "Van der woodsen, is it?" "Hi." "Most people don't know their popes in succession." "Oh." "Excuse me." "Can I borrow you for a minute?" "How do you even know that?" "You slept through history class last year." "I love "the tudors." henry cavill is a total babe." "You look pretty calm for someone" "Who no longer has the perfect answer to the Dean's question." "You don't think I came all the way here" "Without a backup answer, do you?" "Oh, and it's a real crowd-pleaser." "It's gonna kill." "Everyone." "Everyone." "It's time for my favorite part of the evening," "Which has delightfully become known over the years" "As probatur." "That's latin for "the quiz." we will begin with mr." "Applebaum." "And now on to miss..." "Steinberg." "Your answer is ArTEmiS." "Artemis is the goddess of the forests and the hills." "As a freegan, I believe in all living things" "Being equal to all people." "I'm so glad they did this alphabetically, 'cause now I get to see the look on your face" "When I use your answer even sooner." "I can tell you right now," "The look on my face will be of vindication." "...And also screw the man at the same time." "Very nice, miss Steinberg." "Uh, now on to miss Van Der Woodsen." "The person you would most like to have dinner with," "Real or imagined, living or dead is..." "Pete Fairman." "I do not know this person." "Who is Pete Fairman?" "He, uh, he..." "He's..." "He's the man she killed." "I cannot believe you did this." "Why?" "It's not like you don't deserve it." "Miss Van Der Woodsen, would you like to, uh, explain?" "No, of course, Dean Berube." "Um, Pete Fairman was a man that I knew." "Man/dealer." "Miss Waldorf, let her speak." "He died almost two years ago when I was with him." "What happened was a tragedy," "And I am filled with regret over it," "But I was not responsible-- were you responsible for the sex tape?" "Blair." "It wasn't very sexy, if you ask me." "Blair, that's enough." "Let's go." "Dean Berube, do you mind" "If we, um, sort this out privately, please?" "Take all the time you need." "My answer was George Sand." "Love her, idolize, worship!" "Get your hands off of me!" "Or are you trying to kill me, too?" "A guy died, and you use it as part of a game." "Who does that?" "It isn't a game," "And this isn't just another thing on a laundry list." "This is yale, my dream." "You crossed the" "Line." "And so did you when you brought up Pete" "As far as my being here, you take that up with the school." "You did not just do that." "Why did you think you were invited?" "You know on paper you're not yale material." "Could it be your face on "page six,"" "Your name everywhere?" "Face it, Serena." "Yale needs to up their "q" rating," "Just like all the other schools," "And they're gonna use girls like you to do it." "You shut up!" "You shut up!" "Aah!" "No!" "Blair!" "And I really hate those stupid headbands." "Aah!" "My headband!" "No!" "You!" "Are you sure it's okay for us to just come up here like this?" "Yeah." "The maid's expecting me." "Larissa?" "Whose maid is Larissa exactly?" "You didn't say where we were going." "Jenny." "Lily's not here." "I didn't think you'd mind." "Rufus." "This is not my dress." "I was just trying it on..." "For fun." "Sorry." "When I called, um, Larissa said" "You were going out tonight, and I could leave this with her." "I forgot to include it in the garment bag" "With your dress." "Oh." "But clearly, um," "I don't even think you need it." "Uh, this dress looks so great on you." "The only thing wrong is the shoes." "I can totally go pick you out a different pair if you want." "Oh, upstairs, third door on the left." "Okay." "How have you been?" "Fine." "Sorry for the intrusion." "Oh." "It's no bother." "I'm always happy to see you." "Uh..." "The house seems quiet." "Well, Bart is out of town," "Serena and Charles are on college visits," "And Eric has a new friend, so I hear." "Well, the place looks amazing, as do you." "It's quite a dress." "Of course it is." "Your daughter made it." "You're so lucky" "To have a daughter that's this good at what she wants to do" "So early in her life." "It's a gift." "You had one, too, if I remember correctly." "Here you go." "The perfect pair of Jimmy Choos." "Mm." "I will lend these to Serena when she wears the dress." "Okay." "Jenny, we should get going." "Okay." "See you." "Bye." "By the way," "No matter what you wear," "You look fantastic." "Hey, man." "Where are you?" "I've been sitting here forever." "Please, just call me back." "A round of shots, Mike." "Coming right up, guys." "We just taught Nate Archibald a lesson," "And he'll never come back to yale." "Yeah, Archibald's such a loser." "Excuse me." "Did you say "nate Archibald"?" "Yeah, we just tied that chump to the statue in the gazebo." "It's priceless." "I hope he freezes his ass off." "Well, you got the wrong guy." "I'm Nate Archibald, and I look forward" "To coming here next year and kicking your ass." "In fact, why wait?" "Okay, it can wait." "Go!" "Get him!" "Come on!" "(man speaks indistinctly)" "Get him!" "Hey, excuse me." "Excuse me." "Uh, hi." "Um, I know this is a strange request, but could you untie me?" "Sir." "Hey." "Yeah." "Hey." "Come on." "Hey." "Excuse me." "Would you be so kind as to, uh..." "Dan?" "I hope you at least bought the statue a drink first." "No, you know, I don't know if I want you to help me." "Well, you might, if you knew that the only reason you're here" "Is because they thought you were me." "How is that even possible?" "I-i didn't lie about my name" "Yeah, but I have a feeling someone else did for you." "Why would anyone want to hurt, uh, mr." "Perfect Nate Archibald?" "Apparently my legacy at yale" "Involves a lot of people hating my father's guts." "It turns out he killed a few trust funds around here." "By the way, this knot is ridiculous." "Yeah, I know." "Could you, uh, could you try a little faster?" "'cause I see something approaching that looks female." "I'm not entirely proud of my choice of boxers." "You two again?" "Yeah." "Hi." "Is this performance art piece" "Your new plan to get my attention?" "Uh, w-would-- would it work if it was?" "Move over." "My mom was in the navy." "Oh, my god." "I can't do it anymore, Blair." "That's because you almost lost." "I had you pinned with that chicken wing." "Don't deny it." "I don't mean this." "I mean everything" "The wars, the betrayal," "The watching out for every possible land mine." "It's exhausting." "I'm sick of it, too." "I'm sick of always looking like darth vader" "Next to sunshine barbie." "Life's too short." "You make it feel so long." "Well, if that's how we really feel," "May--maybe we shouldn't be friends." "We were probably gonna grow apart in college anyway," "So we might as well just start now, right?" "Fine by me." "You live your life." "I'll live mine." "Sounds great." "I agree." "From comrades to combat, we thought we'd seen it all," "But we've never seen this" "Serena and Blair calling a cease-fire." "After so much scorched earth, can either side claim victory?" "Why do I feel like you're gonna tell me" "The cat died?" "No, no." "It's nothing bad" "Uh, when I was your age, all I wanted was to be a musician," "But my parents didn't think it was a good idea," "And it made for some pretty uncomfortable years." "And last night, I realized that" "That we don't have to do things that way." "I don't understand." "Your dad asked me to bring over all my stuff on homeschooling." "Aah!" "After christmas, we can reevaluate." "Aah!" "And if everything works out, maybe you'll apply" "To the professional children's school" "For next semester." "Like Vera Wang." "Aah" "Thank you." "Thank you." "Aw!" "I won't let you down." "I promise." "I know you won't." "What are you doing here," "Making sure the Dean knows it's all my fault?" "No." "I came to tell him that yale is your dream," "And you deserve to go here more than I do." "What are you doing here?" "Doing the same thing for you." "I was up all night thinking about" "The first time we came here together when we were 9." "Your dad took us to that harvard/yale game," "And you tackled senator schumer's daughter" "For wearing a harvard sweatshirt." "I bet those grass stains never came out." "I don't want to not know you." "I can't not know you." "Maybe we just had that fight" "Because the reality of being separated next year" "Is just too scary to think about." "So" "Wait here for me." "We'll ride home together." "Okay." "So you think you can, uh, maybe help him out a bit?" "Well, I can't promise anything," "But I'm pretty sure I can get someone in the department..." "Ooh!" "To read these and write you a recommendation." "Yes." "Thank you so much, really." "It's so nice to know" "That my dream of going to yale isn't dead." "It might be, uh, embarrassed and humiliated," "But not dead." "And I'm sorry about lying to you" "I just needed to be someone else for a while." "Yeah, well, next time you're up here," "Why don't you just be yourself?" "Okay." "Yeah." "I would have liked you whatever your name was." "Bye, Dan." "Bye." "You know what?" "You--you do Dan Humphrey better than Dan Humphrey." "Really?" "That, uh, that thousand yard squint--can I steal that?" "Well, thank you." "Here he is." "It looks like someone messed up last night." "You sent us after the wrong guy." "He may have been the wrong guy for you," "But he was the right guy for me." "You'll pay for this when you get here next year" "Oh, I'm not coming here next fall." "Those girls I brought to the party last night?" "They witnessed some pretty incriminating acts" "With their lipstick cameras." "You may be the future leaders of america." "You're now under the control of Chuck Bass." "I own you." "Keep it." "I've got plenty." "Missed you last night." "Did you?" "Or was it your plan all along just to get me out of the way?" "What?" "I know what you did." "You should be glad." "Those guys were coming for you." "I saved your ass." "You didn't have to send them after Dan." "Two birds, one stone." "Seemed good to me." "Besides, since when do you care about humdrum Humphrey anyway?" "He's nothing." "He's less than nothing." "I actually think he's pretty cool." "We'll talk about this in the car." "No," "I think--i think I'd rather take the train" "So the Dean seemed inscrutable to you, too?" "I don't think he even blinked." "Well, since we're probably both gonna end up at hunter" "After what happened, I think we ought to say a proper good-bye." "Hello?" "Serena, dean Berube" "Oh, hello, sir." "I just thought you should know" "That despite events at last night's reception," "I-i remain most impressed with you," "And come time for early acceptances in december," "I'd check that list to see if your name was on it." "Okay, but what about Blair?" "Well, like all the other students" "With Blair's qualifications," "She will learn her fate in the spring." "If it's all right with you, I'd like to issue a press release" "That you came up to visit our glorious campus." "I'm gonna have to call you back." "I won't accept." "I can't, like this." "What?" "No, you have to." "It doesn't matter how you got it or why." "It's an opportunity." "No, you're my best friend." "What's mine is yours." "You can't share this." "We'll find a way..." "Together." "Dreams--everybody has them" "Some good, some bad..." "Some you wish you could forget...." "Sometimes you realize you've oututgrown them..." "Sometimes you feel like they're finally coming true..." "And some of us" "Just have nightmares." "But no matter what you dream," "When morning comes, reality intrudes" "And the dream begins to slip away." "Dream a little dream of me." "X.O.X.O., gossip girl."