"Hey, Dean." "It's me." " How long you been back, Sam?" " About a year." "You been back practically this whole time?" "!" "You finally had what you wanted, Dean." "I wanted my brother, alive." "You wanted a family." "You only gave it up because of the way we lived." "But you had something, and you were building something." "You got out, Dean!" "You walked away from the life." "And it's as close to happiness as I've ever seen a hunter get." "I hooked up with some other people." " You?" "Working with strangers?" " They're more like family." "Gwen Campbell." "That's Christian and Mark." "Campbell?" "Like..." "Like your mom." "I'm your grandfather." "Samuel?" "You can't be." "We're guessing whatever pulled Sam up pulled me down." " But you don't know what that is." " Bingo." "Shape-shifter?" "Something that can make itself look like anyone?" "Legends of creatures who can transform themselves into animals or other men." "When the shape-shifter changes shape, maybe it sheds." "You coming with me?" "No, I'm going back for Lisa and Ben." "You'll be putting them in danger." "So, what, it's better to leave them alone, unprotected and then they're not in danger?" "I made them vulnerable the moment I knocked on their door." "Keep in touch, you hear?" "'Course." "No!" "Shh, shh." "Okay." "Shh!" "Shh, shh." "Aah!" "Aah!" "Season 6 Episode 2 "Two and a Half Men"" "What's up?" "Nothing." "At least wait till you've checked the place out before you hate it." "Open mind." "That's all I ask." "Yeah, all right." "I'll be back." "Whoa, hey, where's the fire?" "I'm just going to check out the block." "And let your mom unpack the kitchen by herself?" "Come on." "We'll go for lunch later, scope out the neighborhood." "Right?" "Yeah, sounds like a plan." "Come on, why don't you give me a hand?" "Where'd you find them?" "We found the parents upstairs." "Pretty brutal." "Break-in?" "Eh, alarm never went off." "Any leads on the baby?" " None yet." " So what do you think?" "You think it's okay?" "Alive?" "I did yesterday." "Thank you." " Hi." " Hey." "Uh, one cheese, one everything?" "Yeah." "Thank you." "There you go." "Keep the change." " Thanks." " Thanks." "What?" "I thought we were going out." "Oh, yeah, I forgot." "I'm sorry." "Sure." "I'll look for plates." "Hey." "So, I've been all over this..." "No sulfur, no EMF." "Starting to think maybe it's not our kind of thing." "Four couples slaughtered, one part of the state, within days of each other." "That's four babies taken from locked houses." "Damn it!" "Explain to me how any version of that is natural." "No, no, I agree." "It's awful." "I'm just saying, this one might be on the police." "Okay, so, either we got monsters grabbing babies to make baby stew or we got a bunch of psychotic yokels grabbing babies to make baby stew." "Either way, it's baby stew, which is bad." "So... am I boring you?" "You got someplace you need to be?" " No, no, no." "I get it." " Good." "Sometimes I wonder about you, Sam." "Sometimes I wonder about me, too." "Well, I will go back over everything, see if there's anything we missed." "Hey, Detective said the alarm in the house never went off." "You mind taking a quick look, see if anybody else had a system from Harper Caine security?" "Yeah, sure." "Any chance I get to hop on a computer." "What the hell?" "Hey, hey, give me that!" " What do you think you're doing?" " I just wanted to see it." "Listen to me... don't ever open this trunk." "You understand me?" "Okay." "Sorry." "But I don't get it." "You had your own rifle when you were my age." "Ben, mark my words... you will never, ever shoot a gun." "Ever." "I know what's going on." "You think something might be coming for us." "There's nothing coming for us." "I could do what you do!" "You could teach me how to shoot..." "Shut up about the freakin' gun, okay?" "!" "Okay." "Sorry." "I'm sorry." "You were right." "Every family that got hit..." "Harper Caine Security." "So I pulled the client records." "Right, to see if there's any other families who fit the profile." "And there is another happy couple, walking and talking." "6-month old baby... like all the others." "What's the address?" "Hey." "What happened?" "Ben's been locked in his room for hours." "Says you yelled at him." "What did he do?" "Nothing." "What did you do?" "He got into my tools." "I shouldn't have got mad." "You want to talk about this?" "About?" "Yelling at Ben, keeping us in the house." " I'm trying to keep us safe here." " I'm not arguing, okay?" "You're the expert." "I'm just asking." "You said that you and your brother killed whatever was after us." "And then... and then we moved, just to be sure." "So what is it, Dean?" "A monster?" "Or monsters in general?" "I don't know." " Something might come." " What?" "I don't know." "I can't predict what's gonna come after me." "Well, I'm gonna need some parameters." "We have to live our lives here." "I mean, at some point, I have to work." "Ben has school." "But if something happens on my watch..." "I know you're trying to protect us, but you're kind of scaring me a little, too." "Sam?" " I need your help." "Now." " What's wrong?" " I'm working this job..." " Dude." "Look, I just need you with me on this, okay?" "I'm out." "I'm staying out." " Make an exception!" " For what?" "Look, I'm 30 minutes away, and I will drive to your door if you don't meet me." "And what's so nuts you got to threaten a damn drive-by?" "Where is it?" "Strapped down in the back seat." "Welcome to the party, Guttenberg." "Okay." "Show me." "I got it." "We've been over this." " Humor me." " Load clip." "Pull slide." "Safety off, safety on." " And salt the windows and the doors." " Of course." "Maybe I shouldn't go." "It's okay." "You want to go, so go." " You know what?" "Sam can handle this." " Dean!" "No offense, but if you don't walk out that door," "I'm gonna shoot you." "Bet you're missing your ex right about now... the, uh, boring one." "God, shut up." "Just be careful, okay?" "Bye." "Bye." "All right, so what do we know about this thing?" "Well, uh, it was fast." "And it freaked when I cut it with silver." "All right, so that narrows it down to..." "A ghoul, a zombie, a shifter, or about a dozen other things." "I don't recall seeing baby-napping in the profiles." "Yeah." "Exactly." "Well, feel free to speak up if you know anything." "Seatbelt." "What am I, in the third grade?" "A car should drive, not be a little bitch." "Yeah, don't take it personal." "Well, we need to get some supplies." "I got an arsenal in the trunk." "Not that kind." "All right, I'm pretty sure that there's some kind of, like, paste or jelly you're supposed to put on their butt." "Like, uh, like that?" "Yeah." "Grab that." "So how do you know all this?" "Uh, Lisa's got a baby niece, so I've been on a few milk runs." " Huh." " Shut it." " I just said "huh."" " I just said "shut it."" "All right, we got to get moving." "We got the waterworks in like t-minus 10, so..." " Yeah." "Okay." " Go." "Hi." "Shh!" "Shh!" "Come on, hang in there, buddy." "Hang in there, man." "Dean, make it stop." "How?" "Everyone's staring at us like we're child abusers." "Feed it." "We fed it!" "Then what?" "I don't know." "You think I speak baby?" "Maybe he needs a diaper change." "Oh, God." "I hope not." "Aww." "What's the matter?" "What's his name?" " John." " Bobby." "Bobby John." "Hi, Bobby John." "Aren't you handsome?" "May I?" "Oh." "Uh..." "Ohh." "I see now." "Bobby John's a little wet." "No offense... you two look exhausted." "I..." "I don't mind." "Lord knows I've changed a million diapers." "That's..." "That's... that's a really nice offer." "Thank you." "But, uh I think we've got it." "Oh, it's nothing." "Happy to help." "Give me the baby before I stab you in your neck." "Dean!" "Help me!" " Hey!" " He's hurting me!" "Get off of her!" "Okay." "All right." "All right." "What the hell's a shifter want with a baby, anyway?" "You tell me." "And how the hell did it find us?" "God, who the designed this thing, NASA?" "You know, it could have been following me this whole time..." " Since the baby's house." " All right, you know what?" "We got to get off the road, get, uh, Bobby John here someplace safe, figure this thing out." "Okay, all right." "Shh!" "Shh!" "Easy, kid." "Control, 86." "Go ahead." "I need a 10-28 on Illinois plates..." ""I" as in India, 4, Zulu, Oscar, 8, 9, 2." "Okay." "All right." "You know what?" "I'll pay you money if you sit still." "This is like defusing an I.E.D. with poop." "Okay." "All right, all right." "All right." "You are golden, Bobby John." "Time to hit the hay." "Dean, you're just gonna make it cranky again." "Shh!" "It's working." "Okay, if I put you down, you gonna be a man about it?" "Hmm?" "Huh." "What?" "You..." "You're just, uh, actually... not awful at that." "Dude, I'm barely keeping that thing alive." "No, no, no, seriously." "You got a whole Dr. Huxtable vibe coming off of you." "You're like... father material." "Yeah, well, I kind of had to be lately, you know?" "Sink or swim, right?" "You mean Ben." "Yeah, I mean Ben." "I mean, I know he's not my kid, but..." "I don't know, I'm starting to feel like..." "Yeah, he is." "When I think about the way we grew up..." "I don't know." "I kind of feel like I have a chance to do something different with Ben, you know?" "You sure about that?" "What do you mean?" "Look..." "You clearly care about the kid." "But?" "But..." "Moving them around, keeping them on lock down..." "I mean, you do have them on lock down, right?" "How is any of that different from how we were raised?" "So you're saying..." "I'm not shoving anybody into this life, okay?" "This is temporary." "Dad always said it was temporary, Dean." "He said it for 22 years." "Look, I get it." "You want to watch out for them." "That's great." "I'm just asking... how do you do that and not turn into dad?" "Crap." "I can't believe I missed this." "What?" "This house on Elm, the... the mother was killed, baby was grabbed, but daddy wasn't living in the house at the time, so he's still alive." "What do you say we go and have a chat?" "I say let's." "Oh." "You go." "You sure?" "Unless you got a badge for Bobby John, yeah, I'm sure." "It's good, isn't it?" "I just..." "I still can't believe it." "I mean, I... it's one thing to die like... that." "Poor baby." "Just into thin air." "No thanks to you guys." "Well, that's why I'm here." "You had filed for divorce?" "It's important." "I'm sorry." "She, uh..." "She cheated on me." "And, well, I caught her." "And did you know the other man?" "No, I..." "I mean, I didn't catch her, catch her, but she lied to me." "Okay." "We hadn't..." " you know, in a while." " Ahh." "And... and then..." "then she's pregnant." " What did she say?" " She said it was mine." "I know." "And... and I said, "that's impossible,"" "and "what is she talking about?"" "And she says, "don't you remember when you went out of town and you came back early and we..."" "But you didn't?" "No." "I was at a damn softball tournament." "Whoever he was, he's the father." "Yeah?" "I talked to the father." "He checks out, but the baby..." "Yeah?" "I think the shape-shifter is its dad." "You think?" "Manager." "Everything okay in there?" "Yeah." "No, we're... we're..." "we're fine, thank you." "Good night." "There's been complaints." "You mind opening the door, sir?" "Uh, it's not a good time." "Just... just got out of the shower." "Shh." " Get out of the way." " Yeah, that's not gonna happen." "A child should be with his father." "Well, I got to be honest..." "I'm not really seeing the family resemblance." "I'm not just talking about me." "I'm talking about our father." "Well, there goes our deposit." "You know, it's pretty smart, actually." "I mean, shifter poses as a guard for the security company to get near the house." "Then it scopes out the fam." "Yeah." "Then daddy takes off, and the shifter becomes daddy." "Few glasses of wine, shakes mama's trees, comes back in nine months to collect its prize." "I didn't even know they had babies." "I thought they were just freaks of nature, like..." "like X-Men style." "Yeah, you learn something new every day, huh?" "I've never seen a baby monster before." "Yeah." "Of course, it's not really a monster." "I mean, it's still just a baby." "It's not its fault its dad's a shifter." "Right, but it's a shifter, too." "It still doesn't change the fact that we've got to... we've got to look after this thing." "But what the hell are we gonna do with it?" "We can't actually drop it off at an orphanage." "They might get upset when it turns Asian." "Samuel." "What?" "Samuel." "He'll know what to do." "You want to bring it to a bunch of hunters?" "They're not just hunters, Dean." "They're our family." " We don't know them." " I do." "Not every hunter is a head case." "I mean Samuel is actually a lot like you." "I'm a freakin' head case." "Well... pitch a better idea then." "Great." "Samuel it is." "Well, aren't you just the best disguise a monster ever wore." "I'm kidding, Dean." "Relax." "Oh, you got something to say?" "No?" "All right." "Well, you just stand there and think at me." "So, what's our next move?" "Well, I got a couple ideas." "Dean, let me see the little guy." "That's all right." "I got him." "What do you think I'm gonna do?" "You really don't want me to answer that question." "Well, I'm curious." "Who exactly do you think we are?" "Hunters." "That's funny." "Here I've been thinking we're family." "Hey." "Let's not get worked up." "Yeah, yeah." "Let's not." "Here, Dean." "It's fine." "Let me take him." "It's okay." "Oh, you're a big fella, aren't you?" "Yeah." "I haven't held one of these in a long time." "Your mom was the tiniest." "She was bald as a cue ball." "All right, so what the hell are we gonna do with him?" " Raise him?" " Raise him." " What, you got another suggestion?" " But..." "It's dangerous out there for him, Dean." "And what about in here?" "What are we gonna study him, poke at him?" "Your mind goes right to torture, Dean." "Don't assume that for everyone." " What exactly are you trying to say?" " Sorry, I heard about what you majored in, down in the pit?" "What the hell is your problem, man?" "You're starting to become a pain in my ass." "Christian, take it easy, man." "He's my brother." "We all done bristling up here or what?" "Nobody's doing anything to him, Dean." "When he's old enough, we throw it to him." "He wants to volunteer to help out, that's fine." "Could be great." "How?" "Think of the kind of hunter he'll grow up to be." "You all are joking, right?" "I mean, come on!" "You can't..." "Angelina Jolie a shape-shifter." "Give me the baby." "Why can't you give me an inch of trust, Dean?" "Maybe because you two are suddenly back from the dead, and I seem to be the only one who wants to know how the hell that happened!" "You're not the only one who wants to know." "There's just a little too much mystery with this family for me to get comfy." "Then don't, but don't put it on us." "All we're trying to do is invite you in." " Christian." " Yeah?" "You and Arlene..." "still no luck on the baby front?" "Not yet, no." "But you want one?" "Yeah, we do." " Wait, hold on." " It's okay, Dean." "It's all right." "Congrats." "It's a boy... sometimes." "The crap I do for this family." " You're kidding, right?" " Go to hell, Dean." "Well, you have no business raising anything." "Why, Dean?" "'Cause he's a hunter?" "Check the back door." "Downstairs... panic room." "He'll be safe there." "Go." "We got it!" "Go!" "Now!" "You have something of ours." "I know he's here." "I can feel him." "Run!" " No!" " Mark!" "Easy, tiger." "Get the silver nets." "We're gonna box him up." "Come on, Bobby John." "You have got to keep quiet." "That does not sound good up there." "All right." "I'm going up." "Stay with the baby." "What the..." " Give me the baby." " No way in hell." "Pretty sure it's not a myth now." "Yeah." "What the hell was that thing?" " We think it may have been an Alpha." " An Alpha?" "Like..." "Like all monsters come from somewhere, right?" "And you think that this one was the..." "King shape-shifter." "The first one who spawned all the others." "There's tons of lore about it." "The first one?" "That's why it was so strong." "And why nothing we had stopped it." "And he said that he could find the baby anywhere, that he could feel it, like there's a connection." "That's in the lore, too." "What the hell's it want with babies, anyway?" "Softball team?" "I got no clue." "Great." "Well, then, how do we kill it?" "I don't know if we can." "You know, it's funny." "What's that?" "Just before you, uh, ganked that shifter in the motel, he mentioned a father, which makes sense now, 'cause he meant the Alpha." " Huh." "Yeah, I guess so." " Did you hear him say that?" "Uh..." "I don't know." "Kind of a hot moment, you know?" "Why?" "Well, 'cause if you heard him, then... then you knew the Alpha was out there." "Okay." "And if you knew the Alpha was out there, then you knew he might come after the baby." "In which case, you were using the baby as bait." "So, was that the plan," " to use the baby as bait?" " Of course not." "Dean, I just thought Samuel's was the safest place." "That's all." "Right." "Of course." "No, I didn't catch it." "It killed three of my people." "I shot it full of elephant tranquilizer and it chuckled!" "To be honest, I'm not sure I want to find it." "But, yeah, we will find a way to catch it." "Yeah, sure." "I'll bring it right to you... gift-wrapped." "Hey." "Hey." "Where's Ben?" "Bike ride." "What?" "I don't..." "I don't know what to do here, Lis." "I mean, if I knew for sure what the safest thing was, then I'd do it." "Stay here and look after you guys... or get as far away as I possibly can, but..." "I don't know." "And I get what I've been doing lately, you know, with the yelling and the... acting like a... like a prison guard." "It's just... that's not me." "You tell yourself you're not gonna be something, you know?" "You know, my dad was exactly like this, all the time." " And it scared the hell out of me." " Dean." "Can I be honest?" "Maybe we're safer with you here." "Maybe gone." "I don't know." "The one thing that I do know is, that you're not a construction worker." "You're a hunter." "And now you know your brother's out there." "Things are different." " You don't want to be here, Dean." " Yes, I do." "Okay." "Okay, but... but you also want to be there, and..." "I get it." "You're white-knuckling it, living like this." "Like what you are is some bad, awful thing, but you're not." "But I'm not gonna have this discussion every time you leave." "And this is... this is just gonna keep happening, so..." "I need you to go." "I..." "I can't just lose you and Ben." " That's not what I'm saying." " You're saying hit the road." "Dean, if there's some rule that says this all has to be either, or..." "How 'bout we break it?" "Me and Ben will be here, and... you come when you can." "Just... just come in one piece, okay?" "And you really think we could pull something like that off?" "It's worth a shot, right?" "Edited by Scooby"