"Hey, Ben, what are you watching there?" "It's a special on, uh..." "On paranormal experiences." "You know, how does a baby bend a spoon," "I mean, with its mind?" "Is this a riddle?" "It's part of the show." "There was a baby that bent a spoon with its own mind." "Jeez, kids today." "You know, when I was a kid, we had to bend spoons with our hands." "Well, if you don't mind," "I'm going to get back to the show now 'cause, you know, I just set aside." "Some time to watch TV every day, dad, and I don't need that interrupted." "Well, maybe you do too much of this TV stuff." "Well, not necessarily." "I limit myself." "I don't go too far with it." "You know, I stop when it's done." "Hey, Ben, you'll never guess who I got a postcard from today." "Becky Freeman?" "Wow, Ben, Becky Freeman is right." "Did she really send one?" "Yes, she moved back to the city, and in fact..." "Oh, my god, dad, that's so bizarre." "That's, uh..." "Well, I knew she was going to move back..." "No, no, no!" "That's paranormal, what I did." "It's paranormal activity." "I think what you've experienced is what they..." "What scientists call a lucky guess." "You don't believe..." "You don't believe in ESP?" "No." "You don't?" "Nope." "Do you believe in electricity?" "Yes." "Okay, that's a start." "But, you know, what I believe in." "Is how susceptible you are." "To anything you see on television." "Dad..." "Remember when, four years ago, you thought you were a solid gold dancer?" "Do you remember that, hmm?" "Right, but I wasn't one officially." "You get sucked into the screen." "You forget where you end and the TV begins." "No, but, I mean, the guess, it had..." "It had something else." "I felt it." "There was a power, dad." "Well, maybe... maybe we should have her for..." "Dinner!" "Holy cow, now that..." "Dinner." "Absolutely." "Do you realize what just happened here?" "You guessed correctly." "I asked you who was coming..." "No, no." "First of all, dad, how many people are there in the world today?" "Two, three million?" "Actually, Ben, it's in the billions." "Well, you asked me, "Guess who sent me a postcard?"" "And out of all the people in the world," "I said Becky Freeman." "Ben, how many people do you actually know in the world?" " Eight?" " Nine." "It's not like I would be getting a postcard from a total stranger." "You had a lucky guess." "Dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad..." "Dad, it's ESP." "Admit it." "You know, this thing is bigger than the both of us." "Good night, Ben." "You can't go to sleep now." "It's obvious that I've got some powers, you know?" "ESP?" "Mm-hmm." "You name it, I got it." "I'm a walking guy." "With all kinds of powers, you know." "Yeah." "Maybe I should sleep in a coffin or something." "Because this is starting to get a little scary." "What's going on here?" "Am I levitating, dad?" "Did you sleep in your clothes last night?" "These are the same clothes you had..." "Dad, think of an animal from one to 10." "What?" "I mean, just think of an animal." "Oh, you..." "Have you been up all night with this ESP crap?" "Dad, please don't muck it up with conversation." "Just think of an animal." "No, I don't want to think of an animal, to tell you the truth." "Okay, think of a vegetable then." "Okay." "No, seriously." "Do me a favor." "Okay." "Come here." "I need to touch your head." "Oh, boy, do I hate this." "I hate this game so much, Ben, you know." "This is..." "You need human contact." "You need to get out of the house." "You need to get a job." "No, I need to get a sensation." "I mean, I feel your energy." "You're right here, but I need you closer." "I need to touch..." "Okay, look, if it'll get you out of this room." "And to the breakfast table, I will think of an animal." "Clear your head of everything else." "Okay, I'm thinking of an animal." "Let the vision of the animal settle in your mind." "Let it settle up near the front, so I can see it." "Is it a camel?" "No." "It's not a camel?" "Is it a moose?" "It's not a camel, it's not a moose." "Is it a camel again?" "Ben, this is ridiculous." "You know what?" "You're up against a guy." "Who's not willing to think of an animal is your problem." "You know, maybe I'm not concentrating." "Maybe you're throwing me off." "Are you thinking of several animals at the same time, hmm?" "'Cause you only gotta think of one." "Let me..." "I'm going to get you." "Some kind of sedative or something." "'Cause you need to get some sleep." "Okay, fine." "Is it a hamster?" "'Cause a hamster's like a small camel." "No." "Damn it." "All righty." "Hello, doctor." "Hi, Ray." "You know, my..." "I have a few phobias." "That have perked up since the last time." "Yeah." "I have a spider phobia, you know." "Is that common?" "Not unusual." "Yeah." "I had a bad experience in my car." "Right." "It was kind of like right out of a horror flick, you know." "I was, uh..." "I was driving on the highway, and I saw this spider on my windshield." "And then I thought, "Okay, you know what?" "I'll turn the wipers on, and that'll kill him."" "So then I turn the wipers on, and it goes right over him." "And then it dawned on me, he's in the car!" "It's just like that horror movie." ""We've traced the spider." "He's coming from the inside!"" "That's over now, Ray." "You're safe, you know." "Ohh!" "I feel a little better." "What other phobias are you talking about?" "Um, the usual." "Yeah." "The other stuff is normal." "You know, death, taxes..." "Uh-huh." "Cloud cover, certain crayons, colorforms, raisins." "Well, you ever watch two men go to the movies together?" "Yeah." "They never want to sit right next to each other, not if possible." "There's always that empty" ""I'm a heterosexual" empty seat right there." "Yeah." ""Here is my friend, my heterosexual friend." "Hey!" "Headlock!"" "Hey, Laura." "Hi." "I noticed you came a little late again today?" "Yeah." "I would, uh..." "I would appreciate it." "If you could make an effort to be here." "At 9:00 sharp." "Is that..." "Mmm... that might actually be a problem." "How so?" "Um, because I usually don't get here until after that." "Yeah." "I've told you about my other experiences with therapy." "This last guy I went to would not shut up." "You know, I'd go in, I'd sit down, and he'd go, "Hey, Tom."" "What do you want to talk about?"" "And I'd go, "I don't know." "I guess childhood."" "He'd go, "Childhood?"" "You want to hear about a crappy childhood?"" "And he'd just go on and on and on." "And I was like, "Sorry I brought it up."" "Yeah, you shouldn't have to listen to that." "But I do like my new apartment." "Um, the couple that lives right next door is maybe a little too friendly." "They keep asking me to do things" "I really don't want to do with them." "Yeah." "And the other day, they invited me over to this dinner party that they were having, and there was no way of getting out of it." "So about 10 minutes after I got to the party, um, I pretended to have a stroke." "Uh-huh." "Yeah." "I don't know if you've tried this, but let me tell you, once you commit to something like that, man, is that a hard one to back out off." "I didn't know what to do, so I just kept lying there on the floor just trying to work the one side only." "When I heard them phone in for an ambulance," "I thought, "This one has gotten away from me."" "Right." "So I didn't know what to do." "I just thought I'd better come clean, so I popped up, and I was like," ""I was just joking."" "And they did not seem to find the humor in that at all." "But everything's expensive these days." "I should know, too, 'cause, last year, I made over $8,500." "Really?" "I got nothing to show for it." "Now, where does the money go?" "How much do I got to make to be on easy street, is the question I pose." "Hmm." "But one thing is, I try not to be too materialistic." "Because, you know, you can't take it with you." "Right." "Well, that's what they say, but what if you can take it with you?" "What if I die, I get to the pearly gates, and Saint Peter's like, "Hey, Tom, how's it goin'?" "Hey, where's your stuff?"" "Oh, man, this is going to suck."" " Hey, Laura." " Hi." "How are you feeling?" "Pretty good." "Because I'm getting a bad energy..." " Oh, no." " From you." "You know, I have developed an understanding beyond our realm." "Hmm, so I've heard." "I have a kind of a power..." "It's a sixth sense, a second sight..." "That all begins with "s."" "Hmm." "Hey, is the, uh..." "Is the, uh, the little big guy busy?" "Busy?" "I don't think so." "You know, you're probably wondering what this is all about." "No." "Let me fill you in." "You see, I've got ESP, extra sentencing something else?" "The thing..." "Extrasensory perception." "Perception, right, yeah." "So I've got that." "Right." "You know, I'm kind of new at it, and, uh, I just got my powers last night." "Wow, that's great." "I know, I've been reading people's minds all day." "Man, I am beat." "Can you read my mind?" "Do you know how many people have asked me that today, Laura?" "Like I'm some kind of freak, huh?" "Like I'm some kind of sideshow act, hmm?" "Ben, have you even seen any other people today?" "Couple." "Who?" "A guy." "You're really psychic, huh?" "Well, I mean it's undeveloped, you know, as of yet, but I do have the..." "Okay, you want to give it a try?" "Yeah, but I'm going to have to touch you." "Uh, no." "Okay, I can do it without." "Okay." "It's just not as good." "I'm happy that I quit smoking cigarettes, and I was rationalizing it quite a bit." "I, uh..." "I started telling people that smoking was just a hobby, you know." "Some people collect stamps, I'd smoke cigarettes." "Yeah." "But then I started to realize there were some holes in that theory." "I don't think there's too many stamp collectors that wake up first thing in the morning and go," ""Where are those damn stamps?" "I got to lick one right now."" "Right." ""Just a little lick to get me going."" "But you seem like you're in good shape." "I guess my physical health is okay." "I think I'm turning into a hypochondriac." "I hope so." "Otherwise, I'm just about to die." "Hello." " Hey, dad." " Hi, Ben." "How are you doing?" "You busy?" "Uh, yeah." "You got a second?" "One second..." "I mean, I know you do." "Okay." "'Cause I predicted you did." "You have time." "You're at a lull now." "Look, Ben, what do you want?" "Come on." "Dad, one serious moment with you, if I could." "Yes." "Think of a number." "Okay." "Okay?" "You got it?" "I got it." "All right, keep it to yourself." "Okay." "All right, I got to go." "No, I was just kidding." "Actually, the number is 49, right?" "Well, Ben, you're cheating." "That's my age." "I always think of my age all day." "Well, why don't you think of another number then?" "This has really gone too far, you know." "It was cute last night." "You got the card right." "You had a couple of lucky guesses, but you're getting way ahead of yourself." "Those aren't lucky." "I mean, look, three times is not a coincidence anymore." "Yeah." "All right?" "You know, after two times that I've been right, it's not a guess." "Hey, you know, dad, you may have it too." "You might have the second sight." "I mean, if I have it, you might have it." "You think you might have gotten it from me?" "Or vice versa." "You know, a friend of my father was a mentalist." "Oh, really?" "Yeah." "And he just..." "You know, he did if for years, then he quit one day." "He said to my dad," ""It's just so hard to tell what people are thinking."" " Really?" " Yup." "So it's not a power?" "It's a..." "It's a gimmick." "I don't think..." "I'm not saying what you do is a gimmick..." "Do you think these kind of powers are just based on a gimmick?" "They're all fake?" "Pretty much." "Look, that's fine." "I understand your point." "And all I ask is for you to stay away from the bar today." "Because I have a bad feeling about the bar and you." "You're wearing me down, Ben." "You really are." "Just don't go to the bar." "Okay, I won't go to the bar today, but what exactly would happen to me." "If I did go to the bar?" "Just to play along with you." "I don't have a clear picture of that." "Yeah." "But something is wrong." "What are you seeing even roughly?" "What kind of images come into your mind." "When you see me at the bar?" "Bottles." "Yeah." "Um, tables." "Yup." "Well, you're waling now." "Slow down." "You're going to hurt yourself." "Oh, I'm good." "I'm so tired." "I had to go to an Italian wedding yesterday." "Oh, man, I'm telling you, if I have to chicken dance ever again," "I'll kill somebody." "That's the worst, the chicken dance, or the..." "Even worse than that." "Is the train you get sucked into." "That human idiot train." "Right." "I'm always in it involuntarily." "Always, "No, I'm going to the men's room"," "I'll see you guys in one second." "Yeah, hey, what's up?" "Oh, shoot!"" "And you're stuck." "You can't get off." "That's the thing about the train." "You can't just..." "You can't just jump off." "'Cause then you're the conductor." "For whoever is attached to you." ""I'm going to the men's room."" "They'll follow you." "They'll follow you right into the men's room." ""Hey, where are we going?" "What's he doing?"" "I want to stop talking about my kids, though, 'cause people brag about them too much." "And I..." "There's nothing more..." "You know, a friend of mine." "Had a kid the same time, and it's like..." "It's a battle of whose kid is advancing more, you know?" "Yeah." ""Oh, mine rolled over at three months."" "Every time I'd see him." "I don't want to brag, but my kid, three months, rolls over..." "Mm-hmm." "Push-ups." "Starts doing little push-ups." "Wow." "And the one's where you clap in the middle." "And I'm like, you know," "I don't want to rub it in his face." "I just hope my twins adapt well, you know what I mean?" "They're only a few minutes apart, especially for the younger one." "Yeah." "Oh, what's that like, having an older brother." "A few minutes older than you?" "Got to be so frustrating." "I mean, I had a brother a year older than me, and that was hard enough, especially when you're a teenager, and you're, you know, you're trying to get the same privileges." "Right." ""Oh, dad, can I borrow the car?" "You always give it to Matthew."" ""Hey, look, young man, when you're Matthew's age."" ""Hold on, all right, now you can have it." "Too late, he took it three minutes ago." "You're always missing it."" "Mmm." "They're exactly identical, that's what baffles me..." "That soft spot on the head?" "Yeah." "You know the part." "Where the head goes in on the newborn?" "Right." "Exactly." "Exactly in the same spot." "But you always got to check, by the way." "Always make that..." "Make sure that little spot goes in." "'Cause, correct me if I'm wrong, if it doesn't..." "If it comes out, that means they've been tampered with." "Somebody tried to unscrew your baby's head." "Do you believe in the supernatural?" "I believe in that stuff." "I actually met my first wife at a seance." "Really?" "Oh, yeah, yeah." "I was a regular, and she was a medium, and, um..." "I got you, Stanley." "Julie, what do you think?" "Do you believe in that stuff?" "Because Ben is convinced that he has these supernatural powers." "Really?" "Yeah." "What is it that Ben is thinking, and what happened?" "See, Ben thought something awful would happen to me," "I would be injured in a way that was humiliating." "Where and when?" "Why?" "You want to be there?" "Yeah." "Was it supposed to happen to you today?" " Yup." " Like when?" "Like now?" "In fact, he told me to stay out of the bar." "Did he say anything about people around you?" "Were they in danger at all, or..." "No." "'Cause there's another table over there I could take." "Come on, Stanley," "I need you to be strong for me now." "There's another table over there I could take." "That's much better." "Ben." "Ben, I'm home." "Geez, dad, you scared the hell out of me." "Ben, what are you doing?" "I figured I'd start out with the plastic utensils first." "A little easier on my mind." "Wait a second, you bent all these spoons with your mind?" "Well, pretty much." "You know, I found that if I preheat them first, makes the job a whole lot easier." "Ben, I am..." "Ben, I can't believe you still think you have special powers." "I mean, here I am." "I mean, remember your prediction." "About getting injured, and..." "Mm-hmm." "Well, take a good look at your father." "Nothing happened, I'm fine." "I'll tell you, though, you may be right, and I agree," "I could have been wrong." "Well, I'm sorry if I came on too strong because..." "No, but even in..." "You know, even in the world of the paranormal, which..." "Yeah." "You know, I live in and you don't, there are mistakes made." "I'd love to yank you out of that world." "Dad, I'm here for good." "Can we move..." "Drop the subject?" "Let's make up and have another glass of seltzer, huh?" "What do you say?" "I think that's in order." "You pour." "Oh, gee, Ben!" "What are you doing here?" "Look at you." "Do you look silly." "God, these are my best..." "That sel..." "You know, seltzer will take out seltzer." "Oh, that's right." "Yeah, if you get a seltzer stain..." "Oh, I get it, so this is the injury you predicted." "Well, I mean, it was something like that, you know." "I didn't say it was going to be serious." "Well, what got injured here?" "That's what I don't get." "How about your pride?" "I'm just checking." "Think about it." "Yep, you know what, you're right." "Get back to me." "And how is it going between you and your father?" "We're getting along a lot better." "Than when I was in high school." "We didn't get along back then, but looking back," "I guess we didn't have a lot in common." "I knew nothing of medicine, and he didn't smoke pot." "Yeah." "So I usually just tried to stay away from him." "I'd go in my room and watch TV." "So in those days, it was an awkward relationship." "Uh, we were friendly, but we were more like casual acquaintances, polite strangers at best." "I'd run into him every once in a while by accident, you know, like, "Oh, no, there's dad." "And, man, am I high right now."" "Mm-hmm." ""What the hell do I say to this guy?" "I don't even know him that well." "Oh, here it goes, he saw me."" ""Hey, dad." "Hey, uh, didn't I see you in the kitchen last week?" "Yeah, I thought that was you." "I wasn't sure, so I didn't say anything." "So you still going out with mom?" "Oh, that's beautiful." "Well, look, dad, I got to get back to my room." "Maybe I'll see you in the living room sometime." "Take it easy."" "I usually..." "What did you name them?" "You didn't give him the same letter names, did you?" "Like Jimmy, Joey, 'cause that's not healthy to do to twins." "And I'll say, you have to separate them." "Because it's bad enough they're twins." "We named ours Gregory and Schmegory." "Hmm." "Which is just a coincidence." "My father's name is Schmegory, and we've always loved the name Gregory." "I hope I know what I'm doing, you know, especially with the discipline." "I saw a woman in the store the other day." "This woman... the kid had a candy bar, and she told him to put it down, and she..." "I'm not making this up..." "She looked down, and she said," ""Okay, I'm giving you till the count of two."" "Two, doctor, is that healthy?" "How do you give a kid till two?" "I think we all know three is the minimum there." " It's a standard." " Sure." "How do you give a kid till two." "He has no chance at two." "He could... he wouldn't have made it to the rack by two." "He would have to hand it off to some kid who has three." ""Please, take it the rest of the way." "She's a maniac."" "Three is the standard, with fractions if you needed that extension time..." "Two and a half, two and three quarters." "When my mother said two and three quarters," "I knew we had to do it then." "Because she didn't know any more fractions after that." "Whoops, you know what the music means." "Ohh." "Our time is up."