"BEYOND THE HILLS" "Stay there!" "Voichita!" "Come on, calm down." "Alina..." "Alina, let me go." "People are looking." "Did you write this?" "No." "It looks like your writing." "No." "Father put it up last year." "I've not told anyone yet." "Don't start talking before I explain." "Why didn't you tell them?" "Father was busy, I didn't get a chance to talk to him." "Look." "An electric candle." "Thanks, but we don't have electricity here." "I'll keep it anyway." "It's pretty." "Is this all your stuff?" "I gave the rest away." "Do you have suitcases?" "I've got some big sacks there." "Wanna lie down a bit?" "No." "Let's go wash then." " Can I help?" " No." "It's been my duty since I came." " What has?" " Getting water." "We're very organized here." "In the morning, Papa tells each of us what to do, and Mama helps us, if needed." "You call the priest 'Papa'?" "When there are people around we also call him 'Father'." "That was done by a painter Papa brought for the Church." "It was more like a test." "We couldn't find enough money." "That's all he painted in the end." "Too bad." "May we be blessed." "God bless." " Mama, this is Alina." " Welcome." "Sister Elisabeta." "Sister Pahomia." " Sister Antonia." " Sister Iustina." "Voichita, take this and go see Father in the church." "Will you stay with the girls?" "Go on, nobody's going to bite her." "Bless me, Father." "Get some clay and stick it round the edges." "Smoke is escaping." "OK." "Finish by tomorrow evening, Mr Dima's coming." " Understand?" " Yes." "What is it?" "Papa, I wanted to ask you something." "So ask." "It's about Alina, who lives in Germany now." "My friend from the orphanage." "Hasn't she arrived?" "Yes." "She's in the kitchen, with Mama and the girls." "But she's..." "How can I put this..." "It's really tough for her there in Germany," "She's all alone with her thoughts." "She's so lonely." "She doesn't even have a shoulder to cry on." "Is she a believer?" "Well, she goes to church every now and then, but..." "Does she go to confession?" "I don't think so." "She's been in Germany for years." "So how does she expect to find peace if she doesn't go to confession or mass?" "What she wants is not to be alone any more." "At the orphanage, we were together all the time." "She's all alone now and it's really tough for her." "You can be surrounded by all the people in the world, but if you don't have God in your soul..." "I told her, Papa, but... she says I should go to her." "Otherwise she's afraid of what might happen." "She asked you to go?" "Just until she gets over these thoughts and quiets down a bit." "I thought you'd chosen your path in life." "I have." "I was telling you what she wants." "I'd come back as soon as she got better." "The way of Jesus is not like this." "You can't be His servant just from time to time." "Continuity is essential in our spiritual realm." "You can't stop for a break when you feel like it." "You understand?" "Yes, Papa." "You see, the man who leaves is not the same when he returns." "Understand?" "Yes, Papa." "Mr Valerica found a painter for the Church." " How much?" " 100 million." "We can't afford it now." "Should I ask Mr Dima?" " Ask him what?" " About the painter." "Don't bother Mr Dima with this." "The construction is one thing, but to pay for the painting too..." "He'll send someone to lay cement tomorrow." "If he finds a spare car and if it's not too cold." "If it's cold, we'd better wait till it gets warmer." "We need it by Easter." "Of course." "If only God would send us good weather!" "Lord!" "It's getting warmer." "Oh, and the gas cylinder is empty." "Change it when you take the food for the children." "We'll need money, Father." "Isn't there anything left?" "No." "I bought towels and chains for the dog." "He keeps breaking them." "You'd better get padlocks to fix it." "I got padlocks, too." "Did those folks pay us for the borsh?" "No." "Mr Valerica said now they want eggs, too." "How many will we take to the orphanage?" "Pretty much all of them." "Tell them we'll give them eggs after Easter." "It's for Easter they need." " We have to give to the children." " Of course." "Ask him." "And the gas cylinder?" "Ask for it on credit." "If not, we'll cook over a fire." "We don't even have much wood." "We'll take wood from the forest." "Papa, could Alina come to town with us?" "She needs some documents." "Is there room in the car?" "Yes, we can put the food in the trunk." "Are you changing your ID?" "No." "They're papers for working in Germany." "In Germany?" "Well, I've never left the country, but I don't regret it." "I'd go visit the Church of the Holy Sepulcher." "But not the West." "I'll tell you why:" "the West has lost the true faith." "There's nothing sacred left." "Everything's allowed." "Men marry men, women marry women, drugs everywhere." "Even the Church isn't what it used to be." "I'm all for tolerance, but within reason." "Do they have churches where you live?" " Yes." "But not our kind." " Pardon?" "They're not Orthodox." "For a true believer even entering a non-orthodox church is a sin." "But the poor people no longer think about this." "They go wherever they can, to earn money, for their kids." "These days, children grow up without mothers or fathers, and we wonder why such terrible things happen." "Well, of course, there's nobody to guide these children, to take them to church, to teach them good from evil." "So you couldn't go to confession..." "You'd better come and confess, then." "It's Lent soon, so it's the right thing to do." "Come tomorrow morning." "When sins are forgiven, man finds peace." "You'll see." "That's true." "Let's pray now." "You've got a fever." "You probably sat in a draught on the train." "I'd need a rub-down." " I don't have any rubbing alcohol." " I do." "It's better on your bed." " We're not sleeping together?" " No." "Why not?" "It's against monastery rules." "Why?" "It's not right." "Lent is coming, you have to be careful." "That Antonia..." "Why was she staring at you?" " Was she staring?" " Yes." "As if... you know." "She wasn't really..." "Are you two close friends?" "I don't have close friends here." "We help each other, that's all." "Why did he ask me to confess?" "It's good for you." "It'll calm you." "God is good and forgives you but you have to confess your sins first, so you can move on." "You have to tell everything at confession." "You told everything?" "You don't give details, just which sins you committed." " How old is Father?" " Papa?" "About 30 or so." "Don't call him 'Papa'." "They say Father saw an angel, and that's why he became a monk." "Where did he see it?" "He was working in a power plant and an angel appeared." "What did it look like?" "I don't know." "He doesn't speak about such things with us." "It's been really hard without you, Voichita." "That's enough for now, I'm tired." "Put this on, don't catch cold." "I'll pray." "Well, pray then." "Wait a minute." " Papa?" " Yes?" "I've come with Alina." "One minute." "He's coming." "Why is it forbidden to wear trousers to confession?" "It's not forbidden, it's just not proper." "Do I kiss his hand?" "Don't worry." "He will tell you what to do." "What is he doing in there?" "Preparing." "They say Father has an icon in the altar that works miracles." "Really?" "If you pray to it, will it fulfill all wishes?" "Tell him everything, OK?" "How was it?" "What's wrong?" "You've got a fever." "Come on, lie down a minute." "Are you ready?" "It's late!" "Right away!" "Stay here and rest." "I'll go alone." "And my diploma?" "I'll take care of it." "You go rest!" " Are you coming?" " Yes." "Tell Vali they've brought the food." " How is it going?" " OK." "Hello, Mother." "How are you, Camelia?" "Fine." "Come and take the food." "Mother, did you speak to Father?" "Yes..." "Father would be happy to take you, but we don't have room." "If Sister Pahomia leaves, then maybe." "I have to leave the orphanage next month." "Why don't you ask the director to keep you on?" "I'm too old for this place already." "She can't help me." "When we finish the new cells we'll have room." "When will that be?" "It depends on the money we get." "But so far..." "Does Sister Pahomia want to leave, Mama?" "She says not, but she's always talking to her husband, so I think she'll go home." "Didn't he beat her?" "She said so but he's her husband after all." "If she goes, can I come?" "I think so." "There's enough work there." "Work is fine." "But I can't give any money." "Father wouldn't ask you for money." "He knows you're from the orphanage." "How is Valentin?" "Fine." "He'll leave hospital tomorrow." "I brought him a cake." "Can you give it to him?" "Of course." "I'll stay." "I have to get Alina's papers." "Fine." "God bless." " God bless!" " God bless you, Camelia!" "Careful of the mud." "Has Alina arrived?" "Yes." "Is her brother here?" "No." "He got a job washing cars." "Did you speak to the headmistress like I asked?" "No." "Her husband is sick in hospital." "Do you miss this place?" "No." "Are you coming in?" "No, I'm busy." " Bye then!" " Bye!" "Where do you want to travel?" " To Germany." " For what purpose?" "To visit a friend." "For how long?" "I'm not sure yet." "Did you take Mr Neamtu's file?" "No." "You know you must return after 3 months?" "I'll stay less." " Any income?" " What?" "Do you have money for the border?" "I think so." "My friend is sorting that." "It's Luciana's birthday!" "Don't forget!" "Isn't she a Libra?" "It's her 'Name Day'." "She's also called Valentina." "How will you provide for yourself in Germany?" "I'll work." "Doing what?" "I'm not sure yet." "Waitress on a boat, maybe." " On a boat?" " Yes." "Legally employed?" "I think so." "Hand me that file with the photos." " Which Luciana do you mean?" " From accounts..." "Ah, from accounts!" "I was thinking of Mrs Nistor." "No, not Mrs Nistor." "You know she's getting divorced?" "No?" "Her husband fell in love with another woman." "Just 25." "They say the girl used witchcraft." "Mrs Nistor is trying now to break the spell and curse this girl." "God forbid!" "Mind that your wife doesn't find a young lad and leaves you." "She wouldn't leave." "She put me on a diet." "Well, see!" "Didn't Mrs Nistor's husband have a two-way anus?" "You know how love is..." "Do you know a German called Pfaff?" " Yes." " Where from?" "From the orphanage," "I grew up at the Iulia Hasdeu orphanage." "What did he do there?" "He brought aid from abroad." "Did he ever ask you to work in Germany?" "No." "Did he take photos?" "Yes." "What kind of photos?" "All kinds..." "I see." "Want to file a complaint?" "No." "None of you'd file a complaint but when it happens you come crying to us." "Goddamn computer..." "Throw it away!" "It cost 14 million." "What's your occupation now?" "I'm a nun at The New Hill Monastery." " A nun?" " Yes." " So why go to Germany?" " To help my friend." "I thought nuns just prayed all day long." "We do other things too." "Sign there." "Don't believe everything you're told." "There's all kinds of people." "What's up?" "Feeling better?" "What's this, Alina?" "Your luggage." "Why are you packing for me?" "You know I can't stand people going through my stuff." "Do it yourself then!" "Why are you undressed?" "You're sick." "Any cotton wool?" "Up there." "Alina, you went to confession like that?" "It's a terrible sin, you know." "Did you get my diploma?" "No." "She wouldn't give it to me." " I really need it." " On Monday." "Our tickets are for Monday." "We'll change them." "And the bus tickets to Germany?" "Voichita, we need to be there on Thursday, or we'll miss the boat." "Alina, I spoke to Father." "If I leave, he won't take me back." " What?" " That's what he said." " So what?" " What do you mean?" "We said we'd be together from now on." "Why come back?" "Yes, but I didn't say we'd go on a boat." "Where else can we go?" "Alina, I chose a different path, I can't walk out and cut myself off." "What other path?" "The path that means I'll never be alone." "Alone?" "You'll be with me." "Sure." "Without God in your soul, whoever you're with, you'll still be on your own." "Voichita, what are you saying?" "You're all I have." "I don't need anyone else." "It shouldn't be like that." "Alina, people come and go." "Only God is always with you." "You think it wasn't hard for me when you left?" "It was tough." "Really tough." "But God helped me and I found comfort here, a home with Mama and Papa." "Voichita, you said I'm your family." "And now I need your help." "I'm going crazy alone out there." "Just like I helped you in the orphanage." "And didn't I help you, Alina?" "Voichita, do you still love me?" "I love you, but not like before." "How, then?" "I don't know." "It's different." "How do you mean, 'different'?" "Because I'm different now, Alina." " I've got someone else in my soul now." " Who?" "Who is in your soul, besides me?" "What's happened to you?" "People change, Alina." "The man who leaves isn't the same when he returns." "Voichita, do you love this Father?" " How can you ask that?" " Do you fuck him?" "Is that it?" "How did he mess you up so badly?" "I pity you, Alina, that you can't understand." "I don't know how to help you." "It's you that needs help." "It's you." "Unpack my things, please." "Come on, boy!" "We offer this communion to your servant, the body and blood of the Lord our God, Jesus Christ... for the forgiveness of our sins and eternal life." "What is it, Alina?" "Is there anything funny in what we do?" " Do you want communion?" " No." "I'm dirty." "Pardon?" "It's her time of the month, Father." "Then please wait outside." " You're kicking me out of church?" " Alina!" "What?" "God is for everyone, not just for you!" "Alina, if you're troubled, get out and quiet down." "I'll come soon and talk to you." "Close the door." "What's wrong with her?" "She's troubled, Papa, but it will pass." "Did she tell me everything at confession?" "I don't know, Papa." "Mother, talk to her see what's wrong." "It's due to her confession." "Papa!" "She's trying to jump down the well!" "She banged her head on the well then leaned over it." "Alina, step away from the well!" "My God, what's wrong with her?" " Alina..." " Leave me alone!" "Alina, come back from the well." "Let's talk." "Maybe you forgot something during confession." "Did you?" "Tell us, Alina!" "If you do, you'll feel better, you'll see." "God protect us!" "Come on, calm down." " Let go of me!" " Stop, Alina!" "Keep hold of her!" "Calm down!" "We'll go!" "It's OK." "Calm down!" "God forbid!" "What's wrong with her?" "I don't know, Father." "Let's take her to the cells!" "Have you calmed down?" "Get her some shoes." "Are you OK, sister?" "My glasses?" "You think she's been hiding a greater sin?" "Did you mention self-abuse?" "My God!" "I'll kill you!" "Get the rope from the bells!" "Quick!" "We should get her to hospital!" "Run and tell Mr Valerica to call an ambulance." "Hello?" "Please send an ambulance." "We've a sick girl." "She's suffocating, and she's very agitated." "25 years old." "Ringhis Alina." "Smighelski Voichita." "The girl who's sick is called Ringhis." "Smi-ghel-ski." "Yes, like that." "The New Hill Monastery." "Yes, that's the address." "How can we bring her in?" "We're a monastery." "What?" "Tie her up!" "They said to pray for her, there's no ambulance." "Antonia, you try and convince them." "Hello?" "Madam, I was a nurse." "This girl needs to go to hospital." "I can't possibly give her an injection here!" "She's having convulsions, a kind of epileptic fit." "Yes, she's also bleeding." "My Lord, what happened, Father?" "We must get her to hospital!" "They don't have an ambulance now." "Let's take her ourselves, you can die waiting for them!" "Let's go then!" "Help me lift her!" "We're going to hospital!" "Calm down, Alina!" "Calm down!" "Gina!" "Tell the doctor to come down a minute." "Sandra!" "Call the doctor." " Good evening." " What is it?" "They're with a sick girl and were sent back from psychiatry." " Where is she?" " In the car." " Bring her in." " They say she's violent." "Bring a trolley." "Come on." " Good evening." " What happened?" "We've brought a girl who's extremely agitated." " Where is she?" " They're bringing her now." "Calm down." " Who tied her up like this?" " Father did." "She wanted to throw herself in the well." "Why did you gag her?" "She was biting, spitting, swearing." "How old is she?" "24." "She'll be 25 this March." "The poor thing!" "Careful, doctor, she hit us all!" "What's wrong with her?" "We don't know." "It came on suddenly." "One minute she's crying, then she's laughing." "Make room in the ward." "Tell Sandra to get a Haloperidol and a Diazepam shot ready." "God protect her!" "Calm down, Alina!" "Come on, it's OK." "Behave, now!" "God, she's got such power!" "Can we untie her now?" "Wait for it to take effect." "She's 15." "She jumped from a window because she didn't have her period." "May God help her." " Gina, where's my mobile?" " It's charging." "Come and fill in the forms." "Yes, doctor." "Can we have her details?" "You go." "Can't you see what's wrong with her?" "Better you keep her and pray for her." "At the orphanage, they took you to church?" "Once they took us on a trip to a Monastery." "Apart from that, it was up to us if we went on Sundays." "And did she go?" "Now and then, but not often." "Who knows what hidden sins she's paying for now." "She's less of a sinner than girls who spend all day in church." "You said the boys made you do stuff." "But not Alina." "She'd beat them up, nobody could get her." "That's why she learned karate." "Did she beat you up?" "She protected me." " What did she want in exchange?" " Nothing." "We were friends, that's all." "Something must be wrong with her." "Back home I had a neighbour who woke up one night to find her husband staring at her, but his eyes had changed." "Usually hazel, they were now black." "And he spoke with a changed voice." "She asked him:" ""What's up with you?"" "He didn't reply." "Next day, he didn't remember a thing." "They were building a block of flats over an old cemetery." "God forbid!" "What was she doing in Germany?" "She did housework, she worked in a bar..." "I hope she didn't join some cult." "What kind of bar?" "I don't know." "Just a bar." "She worked as a waitress." "Didn't she find you a job over there?" "You want to get rid of me?" "My cousin wants to join a monastery, but in Bucharest they asked for money, and she can't pay." "Ask Sister Pahomia." "Ask me what?" "You're getting back with your husband?" "No!" "Who told you that?" "He's always thinking I'll go back but I don't want another child." "If God decided to take my boy, then what can I do?" "At least here, I'm closer to him." "Poor thing." "God bless." "From Mrs Dima." "Arcadia, go with Iustina and set the table." "Get chairs from Mr Valerica, if you need them." "Where are the new towels?" "In the bathroom." "Wrap the bread in them." "And put clean towels in the bathroom." "Yes." "After mass, can I visit Alina in hospital?" "Elisabeta!" "Tie the dog up, he broke his chain again." "Hurry!" "Voichita, stop bringing dogs in, will you?" "Yes." "Prepare these." "As for the hospital, wait until Father arrives." "Mama, they're alive!" "This is how fish are best." "After you." "Ah, headmistress!" "How nice to see you!" "Hi Voichita, how are you?" "I'm fine..." "You went to get Alina's diploma?" "Yes, she's in hospital now." "What's wrong with her?" "We don't know." "I'll see her today." "Want me to drive you there?" "I'll ask Mother if I can go." " How's her brother?" " He found a job." "Irina's had a baby!" "Ah!" "Boy or girl?" "A boy." "Congratulations!" "What's his name?" "George, so it works both here and there." "She's in Brisbane, waiting for me to come and help." "When do you leave?" "I should have left, but I must look after my husband now." "What's wrong with him?" "He's very sick." "The doctors said to prepare for the worst." "Don't despair." "God is great and miracles are possible if you have faith." "My husband has throat cancer, and it's metastatic." "It doesn't matter." "My sister-in-law had cancer, and she came to Father to pray for her, now she's safe and sound." "Each case is different." "Father has a great gift, speak to him, maybe he can help." "Father will be here soon." "He's at the Bishopric." "He sent word he'd be late, apologies." "It's OK, we're not in a hurry." "It's hard." "Since he gave up his salary, they're not fond of him over there, they're watching his every move." "Do you think the Bishop won't consecrate the church, just because it's not painted?" "That's life." "We have to carry on, as God desires." "Please, sit down until Father arrives." "Don't worry, I'll come back another day." "As you wish..." "Can I go into town with the headmistress?" "She'll drive me." "OK, go." "God bless you." "God bless." "Ionut!" "How are you?" "OK." "Put a coat on." "You want to die?" "It's no big deal." "Do you have any money?" "No." "Your sister is in hospital." "We should get her some food." "Go get some money." "They won't give me any." "Want to see her?" "Yeah." "Will they let you leave?" "I think so." "Go and ask." "Ask them for some money." "Hey, tell the boss I'm going out." "Call the nurse." "Say she woke up." "See, if you pray..." "How do you feel?" "Do you want some water?" "No." "Anything hurt?" "No." "Don't you ever leave me alone again!" "I won't." "What did you say to wake her?" "I don't know." "How are you?" "You got us all worried." "What's your name?" "Alina." "Let her speak." " Alina." " What?" "Alina." "Alina what?" "Ringhis." "Where are you from, Alina?" "From Razboieni." "That's why you're such a fighter..." " Hungry?" " No." " Thirsty?" " No." "Does anything hurt?" "No." "And what do you do at the monastery?" " I came to get her." " Louder!" " She came to see me." " Yeah?" "We were roommates at the orphanage." "And where do you live now?" "With a foster family..." "Let her answer." "My official address is with a family in Sintesti." "But now I live in Germany." "In Germany?" "And what did you do in Germany?" "I worked." "Nice." "And you missed home." "No." "It's her I missed." "So you're going back to Germany?" "We're gonna go and work on a boat." "On a boat?" "Fantastic!" "But tell me, Alina, why did you attack the nurses?" "Or don't you remember?" "Go back to your own beds." "Let me speak to the girl." "Tell me, Alina, do you sometimes hear voices?" "Or have the impression that someone is following you?" "Sometimes, yeah, maybe I hear a voice." "Since when?" "For a while." "And do you hear it now?" "Now, no." "And what did that voice tell you?" "It told me what to do." "So you heard it before you came to the monastery." "She used to hear her dad's voice." "And where is your father?" "He hanged himself when she was 6." "Can you untie me now?" "Be patient." "We'll untie you a bit later." "I need to go to the toilet." "Marcela, remove her straps." "I'm not." "You know what power she has?" "Did you hear what I asked?" "Prepare a Haloperidol and remove the straps." "Doctor, can we stop giving her medication?" "And see how she behaves?" "Great!" "You're telling me how to do my job!" "Behave yourself, OK?" "Come on, eat." "Thank you." "I spoke to Mr Valerica." "He could stay there and work for him." "Put a blanket for him in the new cells tonight." "Then tomorrow we shall see." "Yes, Mama." "Thank you." "Come on, Father is waiting." "What did the doctor say?" "He said she'll be OK, but that she needs peace and quiet." "Did he say what was wrong with her?" "He said that you or Mama should speak to him." "Go and talk to him, Mother." "Yes, Father." "But he said that God knows how these diseases work." "He says he knows you." "When you played sport..." "Maybe." "Papa, when they let her out of hospital, can we keep her until she's better?" "She has nowhere else to go." "There's no room even for us, let alone taking in others." "I'll take care of her, Papa, if you let her stay." "Where will she sleep?" "With me." "What about medication and food?" "She's got some money with the family she used to stay with." "This isn't a hotel, or an asylum..." "This is a place for those with Christ in their hearts." "If you don't have Him, or worse, have somebody else, you'd better not come and disturb the others." "Do you understand?" "Papa, but if we let her stay, she might find God and everything will sort itself out." "And if not?" "I want to help her but I don't want a scandal in the monastery." "People watch us closely." "I'm the only person she has to take care of her." "Just until she's a little better, Father." "OK." "But you're responsible for her." "If she causes trouble, you leave, too." " Mark my words." " Yes, Papa." "You can go." "What time is it?" "It's 11:00." "What day is today?" "Monday." "I brought you some oranges." "Mother Elena says, "get well soon"." "I called her on your mobile." " How's my brother?" " OK." "Father let him stay." "He'll send him to a Monastery." " Did they call me from Germany?" " Nobody called you." " You spoke to the doctor?" " Yeah." "When do they let me out?" "Mama went to see him." "What's wrong with me?" "He said you need rest." "They gave me some pills." "You also need peace and quiet so you don't get worse." "There's no peace and quiet here." "Alina, I spoke to Father." "You can stay with us so I can take care of you." "But you need to behave, or they'll kick us out." "And can I sleep with you?" "If you behave." "But first of all you need to let God into your heart, if you want to get better." "How do I let Him in?" "He won't come if He's not welcome." "If you need Him, fine, if not, He won't bother you until one day when you realize how much you need Him." "So what should I do?" "You should pray, recognize your sins, avoid committing them." "And then will you love me again?" "But I love you, Alina." "What matters is that God will love you." "Then you'll see how much better you feel." "I'd just rather you loved me." "I love you, too but that can't compare to the love of God." "Wait a minute." "Will you take her home, Mother?" "Is she healed, doctor?" "No, but she won't get any better here." "What's wrong with her, doctor?" "Difficult to say." "But on top of her illness she has a lung infection." "We don't know from where." "Have you seen her behaviour?" "We were terrified of her." "She's on medication now." "So she's within the..." "normal parameters." "But she needs a lot of rest to recover, and must be kept under observation." "Is it something serious?" "Serious, well..." "These goddamn illnesses don't kill you but they don't let you live." "Shouldn't she stay, then?" "Mother, I'd keep her here but they're renovating the new wing, and you can see how crowded we are." "In her condition, to make her share a bed would only make things worse." "She'll rest better in the monastery, you know." "I think it'd be quieter there." "I don't know..." "She'll get the same treatment as in here." "You know best." "Will Father take her in?" "If he has to, he will." "I think it'd be better for her." "Patients here are sick, some even die now and then." "She needs to be kept away from stress now." "As you say, doctor." "OK, then that's settled." "I'll prescribe two medicines." "You can get them from the pharmacy." "One is expensive, the other is cheap." "You'll sort it out." "Zyprexa and..." "Levomepromazin." "The pharmacy is on Steven the Great Boulevard." "Your name, please." " My real name on my ID?" " For the records." "Arvinte..." "Domnica." "Sign that you agree to take her." "Give her one Zyprexa per day and Levomepromazin 3 times a day." "And get her to read the Scriptures, it'll help." "I start saying the alphabet:" "A" "Stop." "T..." "Target." "Etymology." "Gyroscope." "Pe..." "Pendant. "Nt", you lose!" "What's a pheasant?" "Pheasant?" "I said "pendant", not pheasant!" "God bless!" "God bless!" "They've let you go already?" "Can you boil some water, please?" "The doctor said it's best for her to rest here." "Very well, then." "Sit down untill prepare your bath." "Father's been busy, he hasn't blessed your cell yet." "Where is Father?" "In the church." "Wait for me here, OK?" "She said she wants to confess." "She says she wants to find peace and calm." "If she confesses, I'll have to make her do penance." "I told her, Papa." "She's very weak at the moment." "Yes Papa, but maybe it will help her." "What did the doctor say?" "He sent you this." "Pray for his family." "Wait a minute." "Read her the list of sins." "OK." "Explain them to her." "Mark down each one she's committed." "When you've finished, come to confession." "Thank you." "I shall bless your cell to banish all evil." "Thank you, Papa." "Having this list of sins, we can discover the ones we've committed, being unaware that we were sinning." "How many are there?" "464." "Write them down." "During confession, you might not remember all the sins, it's like the Devil takes your mind and you forget." " Shall we begin?" " Go ahead." "The simplest way is to take a pen and paper, and mark down the sins you have committed." "Before you came here, did you go to confession?" "No." "If you can't say everything, it's better not to confess." "If you omit sins the ones you confess won't be forgiven and the punishment doubles." "She'll manage." "Come on, read." "So:" "I lost faith in God's help and pity." "If you doubted God exists and He can help you." "If you don't understand, don't be ashamed to ask." "It's shameful to commit a sin, not to acknowledge it." "May I?" "I thought God won't forgive me and being sinful I would be sent to Hell." "Write the number." "It's easier." "Like that: 2." "Let her do it her way." "OK." "Say the number of each sin, OK?" "OK." "3." "I believed that my salvation is something for God to decide." "If you haven't thought about salvation it's also a sin." "4." "I believed God forgot me and wouldn't help me." "5." "I believed there is much evil in the world, and God does nothing." "So why doesn't He do anything?" "So you thought about it." "Mark it down." "Don't keep stopping, read!" "You read." "I'll write them on this and rub it out later." "You've got an eraser?" "6." "I doubted the existence of God, Heaven, Hell, angels, demons, because I had never seen them." "7." "I doubted the Holy Scriptures." "I do not believe in the miracles in the Scriptures." "8." "I insulted, trod upon or cast aside holy books." "9." "I cannot bear to speak of God." "I had dark moments when I could not hear words of faith." "10." "I blasphemed against God, the saints, the Holy Virgin, etc." "11." "I have had too great faith in the pity of God, believing that God will forgive me, regardless." "12." "I have had thoughts of suicide." "13." "I have smoked or taken drugs." "Smoking and drugs are suicide." "14." "I swore and doubted holy things:" "the church, icons, votive candles, Frankincense, etc." "15." "I'm easily upset, I lost my temper with those close to me." "16." "I hated and yelled at others," "I argued and sought argument with others." "17." "I took revenge instead of seeking forgiveness." "18." "I spoke ill of those close to me." "19." "I cannot stand those who do me injustice." "20." "I have blasphemed and insulted the saints." "21." "I have hit people with my fists, spat at others." "22." "Will you sing for me?" "Sleep, little one, go to sleep" "So peaceful are the birds and sheep" "Quiet the meadow and the trees" "Even the buzzing of the bees" "The silvery moonbeams all so bright" "Down through the window give light" "O'er you the moonbeams will creep" "Sleep my little one, go to sleep" "Good night, darling, good night" " Did he give you permission?" " Yes." " And penance?" " 1000 prostrations and fasting." "Here." "You must bow before the Virgin Mary 33 times, then make a mark." "Here's the pen and paper." "Carry on until you finish." "If you get tired, stop and rest." "OK?" " Yes." " Good." "Where is Father?" "In my cell." "Come quick!" "Sister Antonia has fainted!" "Bring some water!" " What's wrong?" " Sister Antonia is sick." "Father, Antonia was chopping wood and she found a black cross in that pine log." "Down there." "And the hens haven't laid a single egg!" "Calm down!" "It's OK." "Carry on with your tasks, and enough of this rubbish about signs." "What do we do with the log?" "Burn it, what else!" " What time is it?" " Two." " Is it snowing?" " A little." "You want me to stay?" "As you like." "From here..." "My Lord, my Lord, why have You forsaken me?" "Far am I from my redemption, brought further by my mistakes." "My Lord, I call You in the day-time but You turn not your gaze towards me." "You, reside among the glory of Israel." "In You our fathers put their faith." "And in their faith You forgave them." "To You they called out in You they trusted." "And in You they found no shame." "And I..." "Alina?" "What happened?" "Why aren't you sleeping?" "What are you doing here?" "I have to read the Scriptures." "Now, at night?" "Yes, it's required." "And you're reading together?" "Alina..." "Leave me alone." "I thought you were sleeping." "Don't leave me like that again!" "OK." "It's time to sleep." " Are you coming?" " I have to read." "I'm not going on my own." "Alina, I'll be right here." "No." " You want to stay while we read?" " Yes." "OK, stay here." "Put this on." "Sister, fix the stove, smoke is still escaping." "Alright, sister." "What?" "The Devil's in her!" "We must tell Father!" "Calm down!" "What did she say?" "Awful things!" "And in a changed voice." "I'll speak to her!" "Don't say anything to Father!" "My Lord!"