"Alan, every ten-year-old is afraid of something." "The kid's afraid of tuna-fish sandwiches." "Mercury levels in the tuna." "Whatever." "Alan, the world is a frightening place to him right now." "I think we could be a little more supportive." "Supportive?" "I'm the most supportive father on earth, but I'm running out of supportive things to do." "I signed him up for Little League, he drove everybody crazy with statistics about how you can develop tumors from being hit in the head with a ball." "Did you know that shin splints can lead to blood clots in the legs?" "Claire, he brought in a medical journal." "Nobody wanted to play after that." "And now I'm building him a tree house, in a tree he refuses to climb." "You know he hates heights." "I don't know." "I just want to be a good father." "But you are a good father." "I'm OK!" "I'm OK!" "No, I'm not!" "Hey, Rich!" "Well?" "You like it?" "Yeah, it's great, Dad." "Hey, how about bringing me up that bag of nails?" "No, come on up!" "Look." "Solid as a rock." "Dad, eight percent of all household accidents involve ladders." "Another three percent involve trees." "We're looking at 11 percent probability here." "Fine." "Just put the bag in the bucket, OK?" "Rich." "Dad!" "Do you have feeling in your toes?" "Yes, I have feeling in my toes." "Alan, honey, are you OK?" "Yeah, I'm fine." "Fine." "Can't argue with statistics, Dad." "Statistics." "Here's something you can do, go down to Gutman's Hardware Store, buy a pound of these." "But, Dad..." "Son, you can't live your life based on statistics." "You've gotta take some chances." "Now come on, buddy." "You can do this." "This is not good." "Definitely not good." " All right!" " Good one!" "You went further that time." " All right!" "Way to go, dude!" " All right, line it up." "Hey, guys, look, it's Richie Tyler." "Hey, check out his clothes." "Hey, Tyler, where you going, the moon?" "Get cable in that thing, Tyler?" "Hey, what's the matter, you chicken?" "What's the matter, wuss, forgot your training wheels?" "No cranial damage." "Hello?" "Welcome to the library, young man." "Don't tell me." "You're here for a special book." " Mister..." " Stop, stop, stop." "Allow me to guess." "I have a talent for guessing what people need." "You're in need of... a fantasy." "Brave knights, mythical fairies, ferocious dragons." "Look, all I want is..." "Adventure!" "Of course." "You're a boy who loves adventure!" "Brimming with wicked demons, cutthroat pirates..." "No, no, that's not it." "Horror!" "Horror!" "Evil demons!" "Wretched monsters!" "Haunted houses!" "Graveyards!" "Yes." "It's horror for you, boy." "I'm sure of it." "Your library card, please." "I don't have one." "You do now." "Sign here." "Richard Tyler." "Consider this your passport to the wonderful, quite unpredictable world of books." "But I don't want any books." "That's what I'm trying to tell you." "I only came in here 'cause of the storm." "You mean you don't need..." "I see." "Is there a phone where I can call my parents?" "Through there." "Proceed in a northeasterly direction until you get to the rotunda, and from there head west through the fiction section." "And you'll find it." "A public telephone." "You can't miss it." "Don't be afraid, boy." "If you lose your way, merely direct yourself back to the exit sign." "Jeez!" "Hello?" "Help!" "Mister, mister, where's the exit?" "Help!" "Wha..." "I'm a cartoon!" "You... are an illustration." "Who... are you?" "I am the Pagemaster, keeper of the books and guardian of the written word." "You're the guy from up there!" "Where are the others?" "Why, they're here, of course!" "And all around." "Maybe you can show me the way out?" "Follow me." "Is that the way?" "The only way." "Fiction, A to Z!" "Where all is possible!" "Where a boy's imagination can take root and grow to incredible heights!" "Where a boy's courage is a wind that moves him to discovery!" "And where your journey begins!" "To find your way home, you must face three tests, horror, adventure and fantasy." "And remember this, when in doubt, look to the books!" "How do you stop this thing?" "I am the ghost of Christmas past..." "All the pirates shared a grave." "Due to the storm, all lines have been temporarily disconnected." "Please try your call again later." "This is not good." "Definitely not good at all." "Where's the son of a sea biscuit knocked me from me crow's nest?" "Where's he be?" "Where's he be?" "So here be the lubber who knocked me on me poop deck, and with no apologies too!" "You fiction or nonfiction?" "I'm..." "Richard." "Richard Tyler." " What kind of a book would that be?" " I'm not a book." "Got any proof?" "See?" "Here's my name!" "A library card!" "Begging your pardon, lad." "I didn't know you was a customer!" "Look, all I wanna do is get outta here." "Of course you do, matey!" "We all do." "But this is a library, mate." "Not everything's as it seems." "Look to the books." "Look to the books." "You... said you knew the way out?" "I know these waters like the back of me hook!" "This way." "I gotta get home." "My parents are probably worried sick about me." "Well, I'm afeared I've been dry-docked in this library far longer than I'd like to remember." "As I sees it, you with your library card are me ticket out of here!" "Is it a deal, matey?" "I'm naked." "Yeah, I guess so." "That's the spirit, lad!" "Can we get going now?" "Aye aye!" "Let's scale this mast and get our bearings!" "Mast?" "That's a ladder." "I kind of have this thing about heights." "I'll take care of that." "Mysterious Island." "Yes." "Kidnapped." "Here we be!" "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." "The squid, yes, that's it!" "It's a giant squid!" "Jump, boy!" "It's jump for your life!" "Let go of my face!" "I can't breathe!" "What are you doing, grabbing me like that and messing up my pantyhose?" "Now I gotta straighten out my Little Mermaid underwear." "Who... are you?" "I'm Fantasy." "I'm Fantasy!" "What is this?" "It's a library card." "I'm a book, honey." "I can read." "Now tell me, what's the one thing you wish for more than anything in the world?" "Anything in the world?" "I'd like to get out of here." "I'll grant your wish, child." "But you must do me one small kindness in return." "You gotta check me outta here!" "That's it?" "OK, let's go!" "Do I have to click my heels or something?" "Honey, you in the wrong story." "That was a close one, lad." "Lad?" "Hold on there, missis!" "The lad's with me!" " You know that short story?" " Yeah, he's adventure." "Honey, that's what they all say." "I heard that!" "I'll have you know I'm a classic!" "A classic... misprint." "Why, you old sea serpent!" "I'll rip out your pages and use them for..." "Oh, no!" "Do something!" "I forgot." "My wand doesn't always work outside the fantasy section." "You mean you can't wish us to the exit?" "That overdue shrew's never even seen the exit." "More than you have, shorty!" "In fact, the exit's just beyond my fantasy section." "Then what are ye doing in these parts?" "There a witches' convention around here, maybe?" "Look, I was misshelved." "But that's over, now that young Prince Charming here has come to check me out." "My good eye, he is." "The lad's checking me out!" "Come on, boy, we're wasting time chumming off this dinghy." "It's on to the exit for us!" "If he thinks the exit's in that direction, you know it's got to be in this one!" "Don't listen to her, mate." "She's not sailing with a full crew!" "Fantasy!" "She's a bloody nightmare." "Let's leave him." "He doesn't even know where we are now!" "Bilge water!" "Of course I know where we are!" "We're..." "Hound of the Baskervilles." "We're in Baskervilles." "Have a look-see!" "Hey, this way!" "Through here!" "Nice doggy!" "Good doggy!" "Hurry!" "Oh, baby." "Are we still in the library?" "Aye, lad." "The horror section." "It looks pretty scary." "That it does." "Just stay close to me and..." "and you got nothing to worry about." "There it is!" "The exit!" "Looks like the only way to reach the exit is through that there house." "No way I'm going in there." "It's your only chance, boy." "It's just a house." "Yeah, but 70 percent of all accidents are household-related." "Dr. Jekyll." "Mr. Hyde." "Must be a duplex." "Go ahead, matey." "I'm..." "I'm right behind ye." "Well?" "Ring the bell." " Good catch!" " Here, take it." "Isn't he sweet?" "I scared you." "I'm sorry!" "You mustn't judge a book by its cover." "Look, he's smiling!" "That's a smile?" "All right, teatime's over." "Let's start navigating this house." "No, wait!" "Don't go in there!" "It's scary inside!" "I ain't afeared of nothing!" "I'm afraid." "Of what?" "Of, of..." "And..." "And..." "And..." "I know how you feel." "Horror always has sad endings." "I come from a world of happy endings." "Why don't you come with us?" "Yeah!" "And maybe you could help us through the house." "Through the house?" "You can do it." "'Kay." "Friend?" "Come on!" "Hello?" "Anybody home?" "What was that?" "Nevermore!" "Get me out of here!" "May I assist you in some way?" "Hello there, Mr?" "Doctor." "Dr. Jekyll." "Well, sir, we did ring the bell." "It's all my fault." "I was trying to help them find their way to the other side of the house." "The other side?" "My boy, I derive no pleasure in telling you that you are in extreme danger." " Danger?" " Even as we speak." "Lurking in this very room, waiting to strike, are forces of evil." "Wait for me!" "Wait for me!" "Every man is possessed of both good... and evil." "Oh, yes." "But enough of that." "Anyone care for a drink?" "I'll have a go with you, doc." "Stay back!" "This is a man's drink!" "Can I have the olive?" "Now look what you've done!" "No!" "No, no!" "Don't drink it!" "Don't, don't!" "Dr..." "Jekyll?" "Dr. J?" "My name is..." "Mr. Hyde!" "Easy, there!" "The stairs, mateys, the stairs!" "Help, master!" "Don't leave me!" "This is no way to treat a library book." "Sanctuary!" "Sanctuary!" "Sanctuary!" "Honey, you got to help him!" "But I..." "At least this wand is good for something." "Come on!" "Which way?" "Down." "Definitely down." "No, up." "Definitely up!" "Up, up, up!" "Come on!" "What's going on?" "Ghost stories." "Get me outta here!" "Close the door!" "Down there?" "I can't." "Come on, boy!" "Even books have spines." "Come, master!" "I can do this." "I can do this." "Reach deep within yourself, Richard." "Seize the courage." " You did it!" "You did it!" " Grand, boy!" "Hooray, hooray, hooray." "Do ya smell it?" "Breathe it in, mateys." "The land of adventure!" "Look!" "There's the exit!" "Hey!" "Wait for me!" "Home, sweet home!" "There's only room for one up here." "From now on, it'll be smooth sailin'!" "What are ya laughing' at?" "A boat!" "Is it... safe?" "I wrote the book on sailing'." "In fact, I am the book on sailing'." "I'm impressed." "We're sinking." "We're going down!" "Somebody do something!" "Thank you." "Shove off, lads!" "Jeez, the water looks kind of choppy." "Maybe we should've stayed back there where it was safe." "Whalin' men." "It's Cap'n Ahab, it is!" "Another guy with a peg leg." "Seems to be a fashion statement around here." " Did you see it?" " See what?" "The devil of the deep." "The white whale." "Moby Dick!" "Thar she blows!" "I grin at thee, thou grinning whale!" "He's possessed!" "He's insane!" "He's my kind of guy!" "Look!" "It's headed straight for them!" "Thou damned whale!" "Thus, I give up the spear!" "So, you think I scared it?" "He shouldn't swim right after eating, you know." "He'll get cramps." "Where did he go?" "Row!" "Row for your lives!" "Guys!" "Where are you?" "Adventure?" "Boy, am I ever glad to see you." "All right, all right!" "Where's Horror?" "And Fantasy?" "Where are they?" "I searched for 'em as much as I could, mate." "I'm afraid..." "I'm afraid they've gone below with Davy Jones." "No." "It can't be." "You guys are the only friends I've ever had." "She's a cruel sea, lad." "They gotta be out there." "Horror!" "Fantasy!" "Sharks!" "We may be joining them other two sooner than you think." "Hey, look!" "Help, help!" "Over here!" "Careful, mate." "Not all sharks are in the water." "Get us out of here!" "This way!" "Help!" "It's a good thing you guys came along." "We're missing two others about his size." "Did you see 'em?" "He's all the catch we've had today." "I knew it!" "It's him!" "Who?" "The meanest, black-hearted pirate that ever sailed the seven seas." "Long John Silver!" "Just set your keel down, mate." "John Silver's expecting live company." "Give the word, Cap'n Silver, sir, and I'll show you the color of his insides." "Red!" "Red!" "They're red!" "Stow your cutlass, Tom Morgan." "I want a better look at his outsides first." "Long John Silver!" "Aye, lad, the very same." "Well, seeing as how me men plucked you out of the water like a drowning' field rat, you'll be joinin' our happy family as our new cabin boy." "Thanks, but I already have a family." "I really should be getting home now." "I think you are home." "John Silver!" "Touch one hair on that boy's head, and you'll be answering' to me!" "Well, come aboard, matey!" "You wouldn't happen to be going after me treasure, would you, now?" "You ain't got any treasure worth goin' after!" " No treasure?" " No treasure?" "He's lyin'!" "There's plenty of treasure for all of ya!" "Search him!" "The boy, too." "Why, looky here." "Here he be, Cap'n." "What might this here be?" "Money!" "It's yours!" "Keep it!" " Money, he says!" " Keep it, he says!" " Library card." " Library card?" "A cabin boy don't need no library card." "I'd like to get out of here!" "Land ho!" "There she be, mateys!" "Treasure Island!" "Stay on your toes, mate." "When they go for the gold, we'll make our break." "Quit your squawking'!" "Look to the map." "What's it say?" "It's, in the middle, by the waterfall." "No, it's east by some broccoli." " Give me that!" " Broccoli." "You half-wits!" "It's west, by a tree!" "East, by broccoli!" "They're all idiots." "What sort of way is that for bones to lie?" "It ain't natural." "This island's haunted." "It's accursed, it is!" "You're all yellow dogs." "Open your eyes." "The bones is the compass pointing' the way to the doubloons." "It's gone!" "Dig deeper, boys!" "I say, dig deeper!" "Find the treasure!" "One gold piece." "This is your treasure, is it?" "Let's kill him and eat his parrot." "Stand by for trouble." "We mighta known you'd double-cross us." "Throw down your weapons, John Silver!" "Why, you pack of back-bitin' dogs!" "You'll be regretting' this, George Merry." "Save your speeches." "Dead men don't bite." "16 men on a dead man's stomach..." "No!" "No!" "Chest!" "Chest!" "Chest!" "Chest!" "Yo, ho, ho and a bottle of rum!" "Evil spirits." "Sanctuary!" "Horror!" "You're alive!" "Not for long." "Hee hee hee hee hee!" "Ahchoo!" "Fantasy!" "Naturally." "Well, who were you expecting, honey, the tooth fairy?" "Get them!" "At last, a good fight!" "Get me outta here!" "Hey!" "Why, you..." "Get the boat, boy." "We're gonna be shovin' off." "I'm not going with you." "The sword, honey." "Get the sword." "Don't even think it, boy." "He ain't got the heart." "Stay back!" "Avast there, laddie." "Somebody could get hurt with that blade you got thar." "Be careful, master." "In the boat." "Easy now, matey." "Easy." "I'm goin'." "Right ye are." "Into the boat, aye aye." "Ye be a hard lad, Richard Tyler." "Good sailing' to ya, shipmate." "15 men on a dead man's chest" "Yo, ho, ho and a bottle of rum" " Way to go, honey." " Yes!" "I wish my dad coulda seen me." "Boy, I thought you two were goners." "We almost were, until this enchanting fellow discovered he could float." "It's hollow." " Who's there?" " Adventure!" "Adventure who?" "What do you mean, Adventure who?" "Open the blasted door, you dog-eared..." "Perfect timing." "I was just thanking these guys for saving us." "I coulda taken the lot of 'em with one hand tied behind me back!" "That's just his way of saying thanks." "You're welcome!" "Ahoy, matey!" "Aye, we're lusty adventurous men." "Go away." "You don't know what you're talkin' about." "I know I'm not your favorite kind of book, but I could be just like you." "You'll never be Adventure!" "Ye ain't got the spine for it." "And take that stupid thing off!" "Sorry." "Thinks he can be a pirate!" "Seize the courage, Richard, then you will reach the exit." "I'll never get home." "You did good, honey." "I lost the library card." "I can't check anybody out." "We'll never get to the exit now." "Honey, never say "never" around Fantasy, because sometimes you've got to fight to make a wish come true." "So come on." "Don't quit on me now." "Yeah." "That crazy hunchbook." "You don't see me pretending to be Horror." "Why are you sittin' around like a bunch of ol' wenches at teatime?" "Pick one." "That one." "My library card!" "I wrestled it away from three sharks who was eyeing' it for breakfast." "At no small threat to me life, neither." "Where's Horror?" "Wasn't he with you?" "He was, but he..." "I mean, I sort of..." "He..." "What did you say to him now?" "Well, I..." "I just..." "I'll go find him." "Yeah, you better go find him." "And be quick about it!" "Horror!" "Horror!" "Horror." "Hang on, mate!" "I'm coming!" "You're lucky I was published with a thick hide!" "Come back, ya jellyfish!" "Speak to me, mate." "Ye had a good heart and ye was braver than ye knew." "I'd walk the plank if I thought it would bring ye back." "That's beautiful." "This is too cute." "Are you OK?" "Thanks to my friend here." "Get off me!" "Did you see that?" "See what?" "My wand!" "It's blinkin'!" "That can only mean one thing." "The exit!" " The checkout!" " A happy ending." "Let's go!" "Come on!" "Are you sure that swizzle stick of yours is workin' right?" "I don't know." "Maybe we should test it." "You've gone overboard, missis!" " Look!" "Mother Goose!" " Hey, girl!" "Hello, my little baby." "Hi!" "Wait for me!" "Hey!" "Come here!" "Those are my glasses!" "Hey!" "Don't go up there!" "What's the matter?" "Is Adventure afraid to go in?" "What?" "I live for moments like this." "Look!" "There it is!" "The exit!" "Me sword!" "Earthquake!" "Quick!" "Find page 1,001." "Arabian Nights?" "That's it!" "Get the boy!" "Come on!" "The exit's up there!" "We're gonna make it!" " Hooray!" "We're gonna make..." " My wand!" "Oh, baby." "I wish that hadn't happened." "Come on, guys!" "The exit!" "This way, guys!" "We're almost there!" "We made it!" "Guys?" "This dragon is history!" "Don't try to stop me!" "Be careful." "You really are a classic." "How would you like to curl up with a good book?" "Me binding!" "In your dreams!" "Adventure, up here!" "Go on, lad!" "Save yourself!" "You think a bag of hot air is enough to stop me?" "Dragon?" "He's more like a dragonfly, he is!" "Look out!" "Happy birthday." "Hang on, guys!" "I'm coming!" "A sword." "Yes!" "That's it, boy!" "Go for the gizzard!" "Bite him, bite him!" " Watch out for his tail!" " You've got him on the run!" "I'm not scared of you!" "I gotta get out of here." "Fantasy's wand!" "This is not good." "Definitely not good at all." "Look to the books." "Look to the books." "Look to the books." "Look to the books!" "Alice in Wonderland." "Off with his head!" "Sheesh!" "Jack and the Beanstalk." "Yeah!" "This is it!" "I hate heights!" "Matey!" "He's alive!" "Come on, guys!" "Are you all right?" "Wha..." "Master, you saved us!" "That ya did, matey." "Baby, you're the greatest." "Who's there?" "The Pagemaster." "Hey!" "How'd you get here?" "Quit it!" "We're in the presence of the Pagemaster." "I know who he is!" "He's the guy who did all this to me!" "Do you have any idea what I've been through?" "Tell me." "I was nearly torn apart by a crazy doctor." "I was made a slave by a bunch of mangy pirates, and eaten, got that, eaten by a fire-breathing dragon!" "He don't mean it, my Pagemaster." "He don't mean it." "Not to mention being tossed, squashed and scared practically to death." "Yet you stand before me." "Well... yeah." "Think, boy!" "What kind of an adventure would you have had if I'd brought you here with the turn of a page?" "You prevailed over evil." "You looked Moby Dick in the eye, boy." "You had pirates tough, me lad, and don't no one speak any different." "If I had brought you here from the start, you never would have found the courage to face your own fears." "And in doing so, you triumph here and always." "Hey, is that... me!" "That was you." "I'm ready to go home now." "I mean, we're ready." "The world awaits." "Godspeed to you, boy!" "Wait for me!" "You took quite a spill, young man." "Are you all right?" "Careful!" "You'll slip again!" "Hey, wait a minute!" "Wait a minute!" "Wait!" "I forgot something." "Here." "I'm afraid you can only check out two." "Horror?" "But I promised him." "You promised whom?" "Look, I need..." "Just this once?" "I have a talent for guessing what people need." "Just this once." "Yes!" "Good." "That was definitely good." "I can't imagine where he could be." "Maybe we should call the police." "Alan!" "He's home." "Alan." "It's impossible." "Rich?" "We probably should put him in his bed." "Let's let him sleep up here tonight." "Love you, Richie." "Good night, son." "It's dark out here." "I wish there was a night-light." "Honey, wish granted." "Hooray!" "Hooray!" "Breathe it in, mateys." "This be the land of adventure." "You can lay to that." "Come here, handsome." "Why you cryin'?" "Because I have friends." "That you do, matey." "Aye, that you do." "You know what would make this a happy ending?" "A kiss." "OK." "I meant from her!"