"So, what we're gonna do is, we're gonna play back some of the band's new songs." "There'll be no cameras allowed in there." "There'll be no video, no bags in there." "You can only walk in with paper and a pencil." " We're ready." " Are there any questions?" "You want a single?" "Camera over here." "Was there ever a moment you thought about stopping with Metallica or the whole band was falling apart?" "Was it a kind of a power struggle between you and him?" "How did you manage to solve this crisis?" "Where in God's name are you getting this aggression from on this new album?" "Where's it coming from?" "Why did it take so long to release an album with the new songs?" "After 20 years, is it possible to retain the fire that, you know, you guys once had at the beginning?" "Do you think the young generation of metal fans will accept the new album?" "Eighty-five million records, 22 years." "I think it's 11 albums and various official releases." "One word." "Oh, my God." "One word to span our career?" "We are scanning the scene In the city tonight" "We're looking for you To start up a fight" "There is an evil feeling in our brains" "But it's nothing new You know it drives us insane" "Running, on our way Hiding, you will pay" "Dying, 1,000 deaths" "Running, on our way Hiding, you will pay" "Dying, 1,000 deaths" "Searching" "Seek and destroy" "Searching" "Seek and destroy" "Thank you!" "After 14 years of headbanging, Metallica bassist Jason Newsted has quit the band, citing:" ""Private and personal reasons and the physical damage that I've done to myself over the years while playing the music I love."" "Metallica's management had no comment when asked by MTV News if there's a replacement waiting in the wings." "But the band is still scheduled to begin recording a new album this spring." "That's the news for now." "Stay tuned for more news." "I mean, I think everybody understands the concept of trusting instincts." "That's getting to a place where you don't let egos and let stuff get in the way of artistic expression." "You know?" "I mean, do you wanna say more?" "I think everybody understands..." "I met Metallica through Q Prime Management, after having seen me work with another band of theirs, when they called and said that Metallica, with Jason announcing that he was exiting the group, needed to take a look at itself and say:" ""Well, what's going on here?" "We've lost touch with our personal relationships,"" "and face some of the issues that I think Q Prime felt that they were headed for." "You know, we haven't really worked together for almost nine months." "When we were talking a couple of days ago about whether" "You know, if we wanted to do this film or not," "I was wondering if having these guys in here would affect that." "Because I'm just-- There's an intimacy that you get when it's just a few people in the room, and I'm just wondering if that's gonna get lost, if we're gonna go back to sort of, like," "battling each other and trying to be, like, all strong and" "What intimacy?" "What the fuck are you talking about?" "I think, to me, it's not gonna be a matter of whether the cameras are in play, but whether or not you guys are free enough to risk being seen by other people." "We're here in the Presidio in San Francisco, and this is gonna be the location where Metallica is gonna start recording their next album." "We decided that we didn't wanna go back into a studio again and do kind of, like, the same thing we had done before." "We had to kind of change things up." "And this is one of the things that we talked about, was to go into a space that's not a studio, bring in kind of, like, a portable studio or a makeshift studio, and basically make the situation uncomfortable." "You know, don't buy new furniture, don't paint the walls." "Don't do anything." "Just keep it Spartan, keep it crude." "They're such a success that you can get comfortable." "I don't think they wanna be comfortable." "There's definitely a vibe in here." "They got a lot of attitude, and I think they want it to come out on this next album." "How did you approach this record differently?" "Did you talk about things, did you have ideas, keywords, things like that, that you wanted to put across before you started putting the whole thing together?" "Well, ego was a big one." "Coming in here and not bringing a riff, not bringing a song, not bringing a title." "Nothing." "Me and James did not meet somewhere else and come in here with material, with songs, with music." "This time we all got in a room and just started playing." "And that's how we wrote songs." "The idea is it should sound like a band getting together in a garage for the first time." "Only the band's Metallica." "I really like going fast." "Just go off and meditate in the wind, you know." "As corny as it sounds, it works, and it feels good." "It's a good way to just let the weight of the world off every once in a while." "It is" " It is kind of strange being, you know, like, a famous guy." "You know." "This is" " This is part of me that's trying to be unfamous, I guess." "But it's also go-against-the-rules attitude." "You know, is this a big pose?" "I mean, yes, this is a pose." "I mean, am I driving down the street to not get noticed in this thing?" "I mean, "rebellious" is kind of what this says, I would say." " Have you got a plug-in here?" " Wait." "So, what exactly are you doing?" "Well, you'll just hold it above the pickups." "Oh, okay." "I got you." "Yeah!" "Give me fuel, give me fire Give me that which I desire" "I got some bad news." "Gonna have to" "Change the lyrics?" "I like this thing, Bob." " What?" " I like this thing." "I used to kid myself that art was my great escape away from music." "And I think I've become increasingly aware that my interest in art, music and Metallica is not separate from anything." "You know, where does he feel that there's enough of that kind of gold thing?" "How come there isn't another 20 strokes up in that black area up there, where it's kind of bare?" "Where are the starting points and the end points, if you know what I mean?" "When's a song done?" "What the fuck does that mean, anyway?" "Done." "When's a record done?" "You know, where does a record start?" "Where does it end?" "Where does the process start?" "Where does the process end?" "All that type of stuff." "Do you know what I mean?" " Daddy!" " It's really interesting." "Yes, sweetie." "I don't feel anything great there." "I don't think it's that great of a riff either." " How do you hear the riff then?" " I like that:" "And then:" "Yeah." "In nine days, it'll be my two-year anniversary of surfing." "It's taken the place of a lot of bad things in my life." "So I basically stopped doing the drugs that I was doing and cut way back on my drinking." "You can't surf when you're hung-over." "You can't surf if you've been up all night." "Well, at least I can't." "There's a sort of individualism, also, about surfing that I like." "I mean, when it's your moment, man, that's your moment and yours alone." "And no one can help you." "For all intents and purposes, we go into this record completely equal." "Everybody contributing just as much on the lyric front as James contributing with drum parts and..." "As soon as you started talking about that, I just like..." "Yeah." "Yeah." "You flash back now." "Well..." "You wanna hear it with vocals?" "Go sing it." "You guys had some rules about that before." "Quite frankly, I don't give a fuck." "I'm tired of arguing." "You couldn't talk about his lyrics, therefore, he couldn't talk about your drumming." " Right." " Do you know what I mean?" "And you and him did the solos, so you weren't allowed to comment on the solos." "Do you know what I mean?" "There was, like, rules." "Are you telling me that those boundaries are gone now?" "In the past, what we did was started with a bunch of ideas existing on tape from everybody." "Then me and James would sit down and turn those ideas into songs." "And then we would tell the rest of the band what to play and when to play and how to play it." "There was never any, just, other ways of doing it." "You know, it's a whole new thing for me." "You know, writing in front of everybody, because I've always just gone into my own head and wrote stuff down, instead of taking things from outside and putting them down." "What I was thinking is, is like-- "These are the hands that--"" ""This is the face that--" So it's, like" "Building a Frankenstein or something?" " Yeah." "Pretty much." " Building what?" " "This is the top of my head that's flat."" " A Frankenstein." ""These are my bolts..."" "We're on the same stream of consciousness here." "We're just all working on the same creative wavelength." "And it's inspiring to me." "Now I can further express myself with these lyrics now that, you know, James has opened that door for Lars and I." " This is "clay," right?" " Yeah." " Not "clam."" " Clay." ""These hands finger the clam."" "These are the eyes That can't see through me" "This is the tongue That speaks on the inside" "Make sure you really, like, spit "can't see me."" "These are the eyes That can't see me!" "These are the eyes That can't see me" "These are the hands That drop your trust" " "This is the--"" " Yeah." "This is the eye-- Yeah." "This is the eye That can't see me" "This is the hand That drops your trust" "These are the boots That kick you around" "This is the voice of silence no more" " What is this about?" " Well, I mean, I said Frankenstein." "It's not that far off, talking about pieces of things." "So, I mean, some kind of monster." "Some kind of monster?" " You know?" " Some kind of monster." " It is" " It is good." " You know what I mean?" "I like that." "Some kind of monster" "Some kind of monster" "The monster lives" ""We come now to create our album of life." "Throughout our individual and collective journeys, sometimes through pain and conflict, we've discovered the true meaning of family." "As we accomplish ultimate togetherness, we become healers of ourselves and the countless who embrace us and our message." "We have learned, and we understand." "Now we must share."" " So that's just" " A mission statement." " A what statement?" " Mission statement." " Mission?" " Yeah, mission." " It's like" " You know, it sets a goal," " Right." "so you just can, like, just always be reminded of, you know" "You know, what the ultimate goal is." "All right." "It's my world, you can't have it It's my world, you can't have it" "It's my world, you can't have it" "It's my world, my world You can't have it" "Sucker!" "Excellent." "Come on, little man." "Let's go." "Skylar, do you want your purse?" " Daddy." " I'll come." "I'll come." "Come, Daddy." "Come, Daddy." "I don't know how you guys feel, but it's really awesome what we're doing." "The four of us can just go in a fucking room and roll that kind of shit out of our sleeves." "Pull it out of thin air, man." "It's so exciting, because that has just never happened before." "I couldn't get to sleep last night, because I was still wired from it all." "How do you feel?" "You don't seem really psyched about it." "What the hell." " How's it going?" "Good to see you." " Yeah, thank you." " How many bears did you kill?" " Two." "Russia's fucked up." "You know, it was like, you put a bottle of water here on the table." "That was it, a bottle of vodka sitting there." " Did you drink vodka?" " Hell, yeah." " You did?" " What else is there to drink?" "As soon as you got there, it was like, "Na zdoroviya!"" "Na zdoroviya!" "That's a pretty big bear." " Is bear edible?" " They were no good to eat." "That freaked me out when they didn't take any meat." "You know, they have been hibernating for three months, so they haven't pissed or shit or nothing." " Oh, so they're toxic?" " Yeah." "Third day, I killed my bear, and I was just in camp for the rest of the time." "I was like, "Oh, my God."" " Worked on lyrics?" " Yeah." "I actually did." "That was a lot of time, man." "A lot of time." "I worked on lyrics in Siberia." "How to drink vodka and work on lyrics." "Temptation Wreck my head" "Temptation Make you dead" "Temptation Sucks my soul" "Temptation Fill no hole" "Temptation" "Fuck you up Temptation" "No, no, no, no I can't say no" "Can't say no No" "No No, no, no" "Can't say no" "Oh, no I can't say no" "Go away" "Leave me be" "Just leave me be" "So, what were the reactions you got from those close?" "I mean, how did the family react?" "I'm just" " I don't know." "Sometimes I'm a real ass about it and just come in and say, "Oh, by the way," "I'm going to Russia for two weeks right here."" "You know, and, "What?" You know." "Yeah, I'm getting better at that, you know, because that was the most I missed my family ever." " You know?" " Right." "And it was, you know, Castor's first birthday I missed." " Right." " And it was" "Of course, we had a little vodka to Castor." "Did a little shot for him and everything." "But I would've loved to have been able to get ahold of home." "Who's here?" "This is Daddy working." " This is where Dad works?" " Yeah." " What does your dad do for work?" " Drums." " He plays drums?" " Yeah." " Let me play drums." " Is he good at it?" " Daddy, wanna play drums?" " I played drums a lot today already." "I'm okay." "You play for a while." " Those guys," " That's very good." "you know, their plate is filled with many, many things." "And music is just one of the things." " Say, "Bye, James."" " Bye, James." "Bye, buddy." "I chose not to have children and do those kind of things." "My music, that's my children." "You know?" "Daddy's gonna stay and work for a little while." "But since I decided to do it with music, then that's what I have to fill my time with." "Echobrain is one of the projects that I've been working on for years." "And now it's come to fruition." "And then when it comes to the time where my main cat, James, tells me that basically he couldn't be in a band with me if I did the-- Took this other project to this level." "And after 15 years of working together and going on buses and, you know, the stories, man..." "There was no way that this thing that I was doing could affect the monster of Metallica." "I just don't see how it could." "And so" " And saying things like that," "I couldn't accept that kind of limited acceptance." "I also know that this relationship is not over." "You know, he'll" " It'll come around again at some point." "You guys will make contact." "At that time the managers suggested that we have a psychotherapist come in, a man that meets with pro-ball teams, you know, big-ego, big-dollar guys that can't get along but have to make some kind of entity flow" "so everybody else and everybody can make their money." "And I actually said:" ""I think that this is really fucking lame and weak that we cannot get together." "Us." "Look, the biggest heavy band of all time." "And the things we've been through, and decisions we've made about squillions of dollars and squillions of people." "And this, we can't get over this?"" "Was it more than just the Echobrain thing?" "Because that's, like, you know, what has been discussed." "He felt like he wasn't free enough to do what he needed to do." "Since he wasn't getting his creativity out enough in Metallica, he needed to get it out somewhere else." "And I totally understand that now." "And..." "On my side of that was," "I didn't want him to enjoy that more than Metallica." "I didn't want anyone to leave Metallica." "I didn't want to feel that we weren't enough or something like that." "And it was" " Through my" "I guess the way I learned how to love things was just to choke them to death." "You know?" ""Don't go anywhere." "Don't leave."" "You know?" ""You have to stay here."" "Okay." "Need a pen, none of this pencil shit." "Check it out, man, he can't even fucking spell it right." ""Metllica." We've only been together 20 years." "I feel guilty that I'm not inspired all the time." "You know, especially when everyone else is." "It's like, "Okay." We kind of get to the point where the song is looped twice in the Pro Tools, and I know Bob's gonna hit me up for some kind of lyric ideas." ""Oh, shit." I was, like, dreading the whole process." "It's like, "Why are you dreading it?" "Why don't you just--?"" "Well, you're dreading it because of what?" " Let's get to the fear." " Well, because I didn't have anything." " And so if you didn't have anything" " Wasn't inspired enough to have something or letting down the team or some vibe like that." "One, two, three, five." "Say it, I'm lonely, yeah" "Motherfucking in my head" "It's like I'm almost, like, racing against time." "There's, like, weird-ass fear of like:" ""I gotta come up with something myself really quick before somebody else comes up with something for me."" "And then if I don't like it or don't 100 percent embrace it, then I'm just being a selfish, you know, insular asshole." "It's a fear response." "When we're up against a fear, that's the time to move into it, forward." "Because there's going to be some kind of genius there or some kind of breakthrough." "Motherfucker, yeah" "Metallica." "Metallica." "Kirk." "Kirk." "Kirk." "Kirk!" " Kirk." " Kirk!" " Kirk." " Kirk!" " Yes." " Kirk." " James is trying to talk to you." " Sorry, man." "Yeah, it's a bit stock." "Check it out, guys." "I don't know how you feel." "I'm in a shit mood." "And I'm not digging it right now." "Even last night, I gotta tell you, everybody kind of looked" "I hate to tell you, looked pretty burnt." "I agree." "And if we don't start earlier and end earlier, I'm just" "I'm not gonna be in a good mood for the rest of this shit, you know?" "That was totally weird for me." "You hear that, Bob?" "Why don't you try getting a more solid beat." " Regular." " Oh, well, you can call it regular." " You called it regular." " No, I'm trying not to call it regular, because I know it bugs you when I call it regular." "So a little more solid, then." "Fuck!" "Maybe we should talk about next week." " Well, all next week is therapy." " Yeah." "Do we have to do that?" "Can we sack Phil?" "I mean, we gotta find-- We gotta find a balance to not" "You know, the Phil stuff's important, and I hope we all feel that that's an investment in the music." "It's an important part of the record." "Get all holy again" "Let me just go put one together." "Get all holy again" " It's just real confusing sounding." " It's just jacking the vocals all up." "I mean" " I mean, it's clever and everything." "But, I mean, I don't see what it does to the" "I think that's how you hear it, dude." "That's fine." "I'm just trying to do something different." "I mean, I'm" " I'm used to having the drummer do the beat part." "You know what I mean?" "Holding it together." "What I'm hearing is..." "Choose my words carefully here." "It's pretty straightforward." "And the guitar shit, it's" "You know, it's a little stock." "So I started trying to introduce some kind of edge to it on the drums." "Those things we throw out to each other are complete bullshit." "You know? "It sounds too stock." "It sounds too normal to me."" "I mean" "You know what I mean?" "You're saying this shit so you can get your point across about doing a drum beat." "I mean..." "You know, it doesn't hold any water." " To you." " It doesn't." "I think it's fucking stock." "What--?" "Which part of that is unclear to you?" "I think it sounds stock to my ears." "I mean, do you want me to write it down?" "I think" " Oh, yeah, please write it down." " It feels stock, okay?" " I can't hear you." " So l" "No, when you say" " You're telling me what to play, right now." "You're telling me, "You should play with what Kirk's doing."" " And I'm telling you it's stock." " Dude, fine." "You know what, you guys, why don't we just go in and hammer it out, all right, instead of hammering on each other." "We're in shit moods, and we're not gonna get anything done here today." " All you wanna do is pick a fight." " I don't wanna pick a fight." "This is so silly." "You're just sitting there going:" ""I'm in a really pissy mood and--"" "And I fucking told you straight up that I was!" " Right." " And what are you trying to do?" "I'm not trying to do fucking shit." "You're just sitting here being a complete dick." "You're" " You're really helping matters." "You're really good at that." "I was straight up with you, and I told you, I'm in a shit mood." "And what have you been doing?" "Fucking picking at me all night." "Come on, guys." "We've got better things to do." "Yeah, I do." "I do." "Metallica front man, James Hetfield, has entered a rehabilitation facility to undergo treatment for alcoholism and other undisclosed addictions." "In a statement posted on Metallica's official website, the band writes, "James has entered an undisclosed facility, and he will continue to receive treatment until further notice." "Until then we have postponed all current activities, including recording sessions for our new album."" "Metallica, whose hard-partying ways earned them the nickname Alcoholica, have been working on their follow-up to the 1998 double disc..." "I think it's easy to see that, in those days," "Metallica brought a kind of physicality to rock 'n' roll." "Let's say the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, you know, and all that inspired some of the British rock music that then developed after that." "And let's say the metal music and Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath and all of that." "And then, out of that again, then, let's say, then came Lars and all of that and being" "So I think that they have certainly a place in all of that, I think." "Lars had a very good vision at the time of where he saw that particular" "You know, the metal music going, because he could see it with European ears and eyes maybe." "Don't you feel that it's great for you to have your father's perspective on who you are and what you're doing?" "I think that's incredible." "You talk about the lineage..." "Which we did, we talked a little bit about your grandfather." "It's very difficult to admit it, especially with him standing next to me." "It's easier to talk about it when he's not in my presence." "But..." "Of course it is." "What would you--?" "What would you say in private?" " To who?" " To anybody, without him here." "Say it." "You know, what would it be?" "Well, I mean, I've already said it to you countless times." "Well, have you said it to him?" "You brought it up." "I didn't bring it up." "What is it you feel you've said that you're not saying now?" "I think maybe in some ways some of the" "To me that's" "Fear of status quo comes a little bit from this direction over here." "I think that-- I mean, there's nothing worse than when I have to go to him and play the new record and know there's something on there that sucks." "And he can see right through that in two and a half seconds flat." "Comments on that one?" "I would say, you know, if you said:" ""If you were our adviser, what would you say?"" "Then I would say, "Delete that."" "I mean" " I mean, I don't know for you guys." "For me, it doesn't cut it." "You know?" " But" " Interesting." "I mean, it's interesting." "You know, now" " I mean, other than the people involved here, the only other people who've heard any of this music is Cliff Burnstein." "When Cliff Burnstein heard that, he thought that should open the record." "Yeah." "I mean, that could well be." "But I'm pretty sure that" "That I really" " That I really-- I really don't think so." "You know?" "I really don't think so." " Right." " For me, that" "That doesn't sound right or something." "You know?" "Unless I'm a guy that's kind of shouting in some kind of echo chamber." "So I think one of our responsibilities here is to act like a band that's still continuing." "We're going on." "We're doing our exploring." "We're exploring ourselves individually, we're exploring our relationships." "And we really need to get together, talk about this, act like the band exists, because it does exist." "And if we don't do that, then we are the coproducers of the process slipping off the planet." "This is a bit of a shit sandwich, though." "What does it--?" "The unravelling of a band?" "And then there were two?" "So a good friend of mine phoned me." "And he knew where James was." " Really?" " Yeah." "He couldn't even imagine James doing anything for six months." "I'm prepared for the worst." "I'm pretty confident that, you know, we will come together when the time is right." "But knowing when that time will come, or not knowing when that time will come, is very, very uncomfortable." "I hope that at some point he will come back and try and finish the making of this record." "If..." "If he walked away from Metallica, I'm not sure that it would surprise me." "Say your prayers, little one" "Don't forget, my son To include everyone" "I've always felt that James was a softer, more caring, compassionate person than he allowed himself to be to most people." "I can remember from the Dave Mustaine days," "I mean, when him and Dave Mustaine, these guys, they started right away with their big, you know, chests beating and their mannerisms, and the whole thing was very much about this kind of, like, macho" "It was just, like-- I couldn't deal with that stuff." "And looking back on, I mean, what was that, 18, 19 years ago," "I mean, I just felt so alienated, because it was just so far removed from the upbringing that I come from." "Well, here's to you, my friends." "But then, at the same time, I'm starting to realizing now that the sort of depressive things that show up as a result of the alcohol and stuff like that, it was just very difficult for him to communicate from the heart." " You want some or not?" " And not hide behind a lot of these different fronts." "Whether it's alcohol, that gives him a false sense of strength or the front man in Metallica or, you know, macho bullshit and all that stuff." "All right, now you guys are drunk, and I'm drunk." "Now this is the fun part, man." "I want to help him." "I want to be there for him." "And I want to do the best I can to make him the best person that he can be." "So I don't know how the fuck it's gonna play out." "It's really healthy for me to be here without any pressure or anything related to the band or anyone who would remind me of the band." "And to recognize what's real." "Our sessions with Phil really stirred up a lot of things in James that he thought that he needed to address." "Mentally, it's really taken" "Taken its toll on myself, you know, and I'm very worried about him." "And, you know, whenever you check yourself into rehab, they don't" " They don't focus on, you know, the fact that you're an alcoholic." "They go much deeper, you know?" "I mean, they go way deep." "They crack you open and then spill you out and examine all the things that are on the table." "I've spoken to him a few times, and, you know, I know he's having a rough trip." "No matter how bad it gets, eventually things seem to sort themselves out, sooner or later." "Whether it's good or bad, they sort themselves out." "I watched the people around the world say what a great guitar player Kirk is and what a piece of shit I am." "And that I got kicked out of Metallica." "And I wasn't good enough for them." "And that I was a loser." "And I've had to deal with that for almost 20 years." "It's a dreadful experience." "It's been hard, Lars." "It's been hard to watch everything that you guys do and you touch turn to gold and everything I do fucking backfire." "And I'm sure there's a lot of people that they would consider my backfire complete success." "You know?" "And am I happy being number two?" "No." "You know?" "You're just now encountering something" "I've been going through 13, 14 years." "I've never had a chance to be able to tell you without talking to Lars, the guy in Metallica." "Never talked to my little Danish friend again." "You know?" "I remember the day you and I talked about digging a hole in fucking dirt and smoking hash through the ground." "That to me is the stuff that's, like" "You know?" "And we've never had very many moments like that." "Do I feel some guilt?" "Yes, I do." "But at the same time, it's difficult for me to comprehend that the only thing that you feel when you look back on the last 20 years is rooted in the Metallica thing." "Okay." "Have you ever thought what--?" "What I've been through?" "I think I've had an awareness of the pain I caused you." "That's not what I said." "Okay." "Do you have any idea--?" " Of what I put you through." " No, no, no, what I went through." "I mean, people hate me because of you." "You know, I walk down the street, and I hear some piece of shit say "Metallica" at me, and they do that to taunt me." "I mean, when I would hear Metallica on the radio," "I would be like, "God, I have to turn this off,"" "because I just keep thinking, "I fucked up!"" "Right." "I've been waiting for this day for a long time." "You know?" "And by no means is it done because somebody else very important is not here." "Right." "Do I wish it was 1982 all over again, and you guys woke me up and say:" ""Hey, Dave, you know what?" "You need to go to AA"?" "Yeah." "I'd give anything for that chance." "Is there any last words you wanna say to everybody out there?" "Metal up your ass!" "Okay, thank you." "This is Donna Davis, and this is Metallica." "This is, like, a pretty bitchin' club to play the first fucking gig." " Yeah." " How do you guys feel?" " Stoked." " Freaking out." " Freaking out?" " Totally." "Totally." "It's un-fucking-believable is what it comes down to." "Can I say that?" " You can say whatever you want." " It's fucking unbelievable." "Echobrain." "Yeah." "I don't know, I just" " All of a sudden this became such a big production." "I don't understand." "It's like all of a sudden, like" "I get one phone call, it's like everybody and their fucking brother are in town." "I thought it'd be Jason, like, playing with his new band in front of, you know, like, 20 drunks down at some bar or something." "And now, I guess, to my own ignorance or something, l" "That's what" " I guess that's what I wanted it to be." "So now I'm realizing that supposedly it's a little more of a big deal than that." " Hey, what's happening, man?" " What's going on?" " Sounded good, man." "Very good." " Thanks." "Thanks, man, thanks." " Awesome." "Awesome." " Oh, thanks." "Right on." " I'm Lars." "How you doing?" " Nice to meet you." "Where's Jason?" " Jas?" " I don't know." "I think he went back to-- I think he already fucking bailed." " He went back to" " Really?" "Nice." "Go back to say hey, and he's, like, fucking gone." "Elvis has left the building." "There's Zach." "Hey, Zach." "See, he's even blowing me off." "Jason blows me off." "Zach blows me off." "How quick we become yesterday's news." "No" " No kidding." "See, there's a guy in an Echobrain T-shirt." "Yeah, that's Steve over there." "He works at the studio with us." "Well, he is." " Really?" " Yeah." "I remember that guy." "I remember him." "He worked at the studio." " Which guy?" " Over there." " The guy in the red shorts?" " No, the guy in the black that's walking across right now." "Kessel." "Todd." "He works at the studio too, doesn't he?" " Who?" " Todd over there." "I'm sure they're all here, Bob." "I mean, the only two people in the Bay Area not working for him is me and you." "Hetfield's gonna freak." "I'm in fucking hell." "This whole gig has brought all of this on." "Yes, it has." "It's made me feel like" " You really wanna come clean." " It made me feel like such a loser." "I mean, I can't hold my band together, you know." "I start records, I don't finish them." "I fucking" "Jason is the future." "Metallica's the past." "I've never had a break like this in 20 years." "Do you know what I mean?" "And just-- What's been kind of getting me is just not knowing." "You know what I mean?" "Not knowing and not hearing, it just eats away at you." " Kirk talked to him." " I talked to James today." "What did he say?" "He basically said that, you know, he just" "His family's the priority right now, and he needs time to work on his family before he can reach out to his other family, being us." "And that he loves us, and he just needs for us to understand that he needs time." "And he also went on about how difficult it was talking to you about it, because he felt pressured." "And, you know, he spoke about how you always need to be in control of the situation or in control of the schedule or whatever." "And he said that this is a time he needs complete control of the situation." "And he said, you know, all the Marc Reiters and the Bob Rocks, all that stuff, you know, just has-- "I can't think of that right now."" "So, you know, I got the feeling that he kind of lumps in your relationship with the business side of things, which was actually really surprising to me." "But I think that's-- You know, that explains" "I think that explains a lot on why he hasn't spoken to you." "We're just in limbo, and the longer James chooses to stay away from dealing with us, the further we drift apart." "And I just feel so disrespected." "And that's the key thing." "Was the future of the group ever in doubt?" "Even when James went into rehab, do you think?" "Lars and I, we were wondering when James was going to finally feel like he was in a situation where he can come back to the band." "And after a certain amount of months, you know, Lars and I started to think:" ""Well, is he ever gonna come back to the band?"" "And that was a really big question on our plates." "Whether or not, you know, he wanted to come back." "James wrote something in the new issue of our magazine, So What!" "He wrote a kind of a little handwritten note." "That note was probably the most heartfelt thing that I'd ever seen come from his mind." "Tomorrow is shaping up, or is gearing itself up to be, yes, the first sit-down with one James Hetfield post-rehab." "Why are we filming this?" "I don't know." "We're in very different places." "Or at least I am in a very different place than I was from the Presidio." "That's a huge understatement." "So we just have to find that if" "You know, if the movie will be as intense, you know." "To me there was a lot of intrusion, and I kind of went with it and felt" "I felt uncomfortable." "I felt uncomfortable with it." "You know, a boom following me around, and it just felt like I was in the spotlight all the time." "And I didn't-- I guess I don't really like that feeling." "While we were in the Presidio filming you guys playing," " did you feel it then too?" " Yeah." "It was" " It was pretty much all the time." "Do you think you're in a better place now?" " We gotta find some..." " I'm definitely in a better place." "Some place that makes you feel comfortable." "And the last thing we wanna do is have it impede on your music, because that's more important than anything." "You know, one answer may be there" "Maybe there shouldn't be a film." "I mean, that's the range of possibilities that we should really think about, because, I mean, why do you guys want a film?" "Even you said you hope that the film is made." "I mean" "That's a big question, because, for me, it was really just" "It came along with being in Metallica." ""Hey, we're gonna do this." "Oh, okay."" "That's part of this, all of this..." "The bigness of Metallica, and I'm kind of tired of it." "You might look at it as a friend." "To me, it's been a beast." "And it's sucked a lot of me into it." "You were maybe the keeper of the beast at one point." "You know, because you were the champion of that fifth" " That entity." "And, of course, you gotta find the right balance between what everybody's personal needs are, but if Metallica collectively decides to do this, then I think Metallica can make it happen." "I don't know." "That scares me again." "Metallica is three individuals." "And three individuals have to decide if it's good to do." "But I still think that the priority is the collective until all the people involved in the collective say that the priority is the individual." "And so far, you're the only one that said the priority is the individual." "I haven't said that." "He hasn't said that." "I haven't heard him say that." "So I feel that it's still-- There's still an unbalance there." "We met from, like, maybe, I don't know, six or eight weeks before we actually picked up the project again." "That was when we came in, and it was the first time we actually used this studio, HQ." "Anyway, here we are." "HQ." "Right on." "Well, we're here." "And the camera's here." "And my friend the boom is here." " Hovering." " Yeah." "Cool." "Do you want me to play the music?" "Yeah, let's go." "I'm" "I'll put the big speakers on." "I was afraid to pick up a guitar and fearful of what would happen." "Would I not like it?" "Would I love it?" "Would I not be able to write anything cool?" "Would I write just recovery stuff?" "James." "It was probably the best sound I've ever heard in my life, just the fact that you were playing guitar in here." " Hey, Zach." " Right on, brother." "Play a riff." " What?" " Nothing." "See?" "It feels pretty good, doesn't it?" " Yeah." " It feels like the next day." "A year later, the next day." "It will be interesting working on this schedule, because we really haven't." "It's gonna be great." "And kind of the overview is, you know, the less time we have here, the more productive we'll be, in a way, you know?" "It's like we're more focused on getting the stuff done." "That all sounds really good." "Okay." "Now, let's revisit it in a week." "So I think that, don't talk it, walk it." "At some point, we are gonna have to work a little harder." " Yes." " You know, when that feels right." "What do you mean?" "What does that mean?" " What does that mean?" " Yeah." "When you say harder, does that mean more hours?" "You know, if we can go deep real quick, be intense..." "I spoke up because, "What does that mean, we have to, you know, do eight hours now?"" " And I got fearful right then." " That's okay." "I mean, it's like..." "Yeah." " To do eight hours?" " No." "Any lyric ideas?" "I'm searching for" "Searching for doughnuts." " Searching for doughnuts" " Searching for doughnuts" "What was the whole thing from yesterday?" " The Buddhist" " Guarantee" " What?" "No, the Buddhist thing that you had." "Birth is pain, life is pain, death is pain." "The cycle of suffering." "It's called samsara." "Where are you with this, James?" "Somewhere else." "Where's today's sweat going?" ""I've worn out being afraid." "My endless parade of fear that I've constantly made."" ""My lifestyle determines my deathstyle." "A rising tide that pushes to the other side."" "I've worn out being afraid Endless parade" "Of fear that I've constantly made" "Frantic tick tick tick tock I gladly trade" "Oh, I need know the answer Where I'll be laid" "I can't find it" " It just" " It doesn't work." " The great" "You did one great thing." "You went:" "You did this one syncopated thing." "Do the whole verse like that." "I've worn out always being afraid" "An endless stream of fear That I've made" "Frantic tick tick tock I'll gladly trade" "It's weird." "It's weird." "And it works." "No, but the second time you felt really comfortable with it." " Right." " Oh, by the way, it's quarter to 4." "I gotta get rolling, guys." "Sorry." "I feel like the bad guy saying, "I gotta go because it's 4:00."" "If we all know, and we all do know, that 4:00 is kind of the stop time, then, I don't know, then I won't feel like the heel here, saying:" ""I gotta go eat dinner with my kids," you know." "Because I have a feeling I'm gonna walk out of here, and you're gonna go in there and listen to this stuff," " and it's like, that's not right." " That's not." "I mean, if I wanna listen to it, I'll go and listen to it." "But we should at least listen to it" "But I know you'll sit there and start talking with Bob." "Maybe Bob doesn't wanna sit in there, and when I'm gone, things get talked about and decisions are made." "And I feel I walk into something that's already kind of decided." "And it's a total uphill battle for me a lot of times." "I don't like that feeling." "Well, that's, like, just like the last 15 years," " Yeah." " for me." "Well, let's talk about this tomorrow, then, all right?" " Or do you wanna take time out--?" " No, I don't have time right now, because it's past 4." "It's hard to introduce structure into this, and I'm trying." "So, what do you think, Lars?" "Can we hear the song from yesterday?" "That we all heard together?" "How is that different?" "Because we all heard it together already." " He wants to be part of everything." " Was I in there?" "Yes, you were." "We all heard it together yesterday." " You came in." " All right." "As long as you don't talk about it." " Is that a way around it, or--?" " That is definitely a way around it." "How about if we just save up the tension?" "Seriously." "I mean, that's okay, because tension produces results." "I'm excited to see what you learned here." "Up and back." "Up and freeze." "What is this called?" "Arabesque." "Super proud of you, sweetie." "I'm so glad I got to see it." "I'm working on-- Really hard, on being the best dad and father and husband I can be." "And the best me." "You worked hard." "I don't wanna lose any of the stuff I have." "I know it could all go away at one time, and that's a tough part of life." "And then" " And it's just-- It's a total rebirth for me, looking at life in a whole new way." "You know, all the other drinking and all the other junk that I was stuck in, it was so predictable, so boring." "I'm out there looking for excitement in all this stuff." "The results are the same, man." "I wake up the next day somewhere in some bed," "I don't know who this person is next to me, and I'm drunk, completely hung-over and have a show to do." "And the result is the same." "You know?" "When life now is pretty exciting." "You don't know what's gonna happen when you're kind of clear and here and in the now." "In the moment." "My lifestyle determines My deathstyle" "A rising tide That pushes to the other side" "My lifestyle determines My deathstyle" "A rising tide That pushes to the other side" "I think those two feel the best to me." "It's a tough one to decide." "They all kind of got some charm, don't you think?" "Yeah, I'd be interested to hear the first one." "From the first take." "Well, let's play it." " Is it okay?" " Are we allowed?" " Yeah, we are." " Do we have--?" " We never really settled that, did we?" " We didn't settle it." "Yes." "We're allowed." "Well, I'd like to hear it." "Feel free to leave the room, whoever doesn't want to be part of that." "I felt like it was an agreement." "We're gonna work from 12 to 4, and then we would not work." "Well, if Lars and I listen to something or go through the Presidio stuff, it's not because we wanna do something behind your back." "It's for you." "And basically what I heard is, "No, I can't do that."" " What the fuck is that?" " I don't know, my mind gets lopsided." "The more it goes in a different direction, the harder it is." "The harder it is to get that back." "What is it you have to get back?" "Some control." "Some sense of involvement in the band." "When I was running this morning, I was thinking about seeing you today, and the word "fuck" just comes up so much." "Seriously, it's really true." " Is that in anger?" " No, just, "Fuck!"" ""Fuck."" "I just think you're so fucking self-absorbed." "And what makes it worse is that you always talk about..." "You always talk about me." "You use the word "control"" "and "manipulation" a lot." "I think you control on purpose, and I think you control inadvertently." "I think you control by the rules you always set." "I think you control by how you always judge people." "I think you control by your absence." "I think you control all of this even when you're not here." "I don't understand who you are." "I don't understand the program." "I don't understand all this stuff, okay?" "I realize now that I barely knew you before." "And all these rules and all this shit, man, this is a fucking rock 'n' roll band." "I don't want fucking rules." "I understand that you need to leave at 4." "I respect it." "But don't tell me I can't sit and listen to something with Bob at 4:15 if I want to." "What the fuck is that?" "You know, I don't wanna end up like Jason, okay?" "I don't want to be pushed away." "I don't want it to happen twice." "Let's do it, and let's fucking do it full-on or let's not do it at all." "Fuck." "See?" "Fuck." "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "Yeah!" " Yeah!" " Metallica." "Yeah!" "Rock 'n' roll." "Let's hear it for Elena!" "We're not anywhere near getting any issues resolved." "Well, let's get them." "That's what we're here to do." "I don't know." "I guess the playing part, being in the room, and then mainly being in the room with Lars, playing music together." "I guess I had higher expectations, and I don't know, maybe I'm disappointed in myself." "Maybe..." "I don't know." "You wanna talk about that?" "I mean, what does that mean?" "I'm not enjoying being in the room with you playing." "Searching" "Seek and destroy" "Searching" "Seek and destroy" "Searching, yeah" "Seek and destroy" "If you are not having any fun, let me let it be known to you that I'm not having a lot of fun either." "But I've" " I am not interested in playing music with you if you're not happy in there." "I just don't want to be a-- Become a fucking parody." "Okay?" "So if you're not happy playing music with me:" "Is there enough that connects us to hold on for a way through this?" "I don't know." "There are moments where I really doubt it." "Really doubt it." "I'm glad you said that." "Because I really, deep down, feel sometimes that it's just..." "There's just some empty, just..." "Just an ugly feeling inside." "Just..." "I don't know." "How much work do we gotta put into this?" " Then you're doing the:" " Yeah." "Let's do our little roundtable thing right now, quickly." "Everybody's gotta participate." "Lars, come on." "Hey, Castor, why don't you look at all the boys" " The men, I should say." "And say bye to everybody." "Bye, Castor." "Thank you for coming." " Is Daddy going bye?" " No, your dada's staying here, okay?" " Bye, guys." " See you." "So, what's the deal?" "How does everybody feel about what they heard?" "The chorus lyrics will definitely work in that feel." " Yeah." " That kind of intro bit that's on there." " What about you?" "What do you think?" " It's good." "You think it's good?" "Was there anything in particular that you...?" "No, I wasn't paying attention that detailed." "That's just" " It's a lot of good stuff." "I can take you back, when me and him were alone in my room, in 1981, listening to the new wave of British heavy-metal singles." "As soon as there was somebody else in the room, it just became this, like" " It just had a very different energy to it." " Is there any of that that's usable?" " Yeah." " That's a fuck" " That's a fucking bitch." " Let's do another version of it, okay?" "The first time I got a real awareness of it was when Mustaine came into the picture." "When James was with Mustaine, he became like he never really cared about me." "One time during the recording of the Ride the Lightning record, where me and him went out and-- So 42 beers later, it was like, "Oh, dude, I love you."" "But it could never have materialized until it got to that 42-beer point and we were alone." "That was good." "Are you sure I don't have to play it again?" "Yeah, I'm sure." "It's good practice, though." " For what?" " The road." " When?" " A couple years." "From day one, it's been competitive." "And in a way, that's what has made Metallica what it is." "That's what's driven us further." "What feels good to you?" "I don't know." "I'm gonna try a bunch more." "Can you try maybe like a:" "Almost like a strum."