"Thiswasone ofthedeadliesttimes to be on the battlefield in Afghanistan." "Weweregoingintoanarea thatwasnothing butinsurgents, so that we can draw these guys out to fight." "Somethingdetonating veryoftenmeansthe loss ofsomebody'slife." "Thelastthing thatI everdid onthebattlefield wastoputmyself inbetweentheseguys that I call my brothers and impossible death." "Thisistracking tobeaveryviolentmonth  hereinAfghanistan." "Acrossthecountry, theselastfewmonths havebeen thedeadliestof thewar ." "4,900mortars,rockets,IEDs, a7 %increase overthemonthbefore." "Thesurgeof troops areincountry, goingthrougheverysingle compoundinan area thattheyhave neverbeenin before." "Thebiggestthreats aretheIEDs." "They're targeting us dismounted walking through the fields." "Inthesummerof2010 , itwas anincrediblyintenseperiod ofbeingat war inAfghanistan." "We had so many targets to go after and so many casualties across the board, his was just one of the deadliest times to be on the battlefield." "The country was a little out of control in the areas we were working in." "You know, casualty rates started going up, firefights started getting longer, helicopters were being shot at or shot down." "TeamMerrillis ataskforce thatwascreated to gather intelligence for the conventional military by entering areas that coalition forces had not been in, in a recent time." "Wewereabletogive  goodintelligence bybeingup front, forlackof abetterword , behindenemylines." "We didn't have specific people, usually, that we were going after." "We would have a specific area that is a hotspot, you know, and we would target that area because we knew that there was a lot of enemy activity there." "We were all, all over the country, so different terrain and different compounds, different people, so, like, anything can go on at any time." "It'softennothing butmilitary-aged malefighters, youknow, nowomen,no children, soyouknow thoseareallpeople thataretheretobe inthefight, and we are gonna go in the middle of them," "and we're going to hoist up an American flag, andwe'regonnastirup thisbeehive asmuchas we can so that we can draw these guys out to fight." "We were essentially just the worm on the end of a hook, butitwasagreatway tosparkthingsup." "That's kind of every Ranger's dream, to go get in a fight." "That's what you sign up for." "That's what I signed up for." "Hey, take this corner." "Whenyouhave aenemyfighter, andyouknowabout wherehe'sat , andyouknowabout whathelookslike, andyouknowwhat he'sshootingat youwith, youknow,that's, that'sa ,that'saproblem," "butit'saproblem youcandealwith." "But when you have these, these IEDs that are hidden in all sorts of places where they think that you're gonna walk, and you have no, no way to detect them, sometimesit's,that's, that'sa scarythought." "Getup!" "Getup!" "Getup!" "The term IED simply means Improvised Explosive Device, andthatwas thelargestkiller onourbattlefield atthattime." "This is nothing but insurgents taking what they can find or they can buy andmanufacturing ahomemadeexplosive, andthen manufacturinga system todetonatethatdevice onthebattlefieldsomewhere." "As we became more advanced and became better troops, they got better at what they did." "IED!" "IED!" "We were having to combat, you know, vehicle-borne IEDs andIEDsburiedintheroad andIEDsattachedtotrees andIEDsattached totripwires andIEDsattached topressureplates." "Asa bombtechnician, youareat thetip  ofthespear, andthat's averydangerousplacetobe ." "You're likely gonna be the first one to run into an Improvised Explosive Device, orifthereisa tripwire, you're the one that's gonna run intothattripwire." "You'retakingthehazard thateverybodyelse wantstomoveawayfrom , and you are the person that has to move very calmly and very purposefully towards that hazard." "It wasn't me using my rifle to look for enemy combatants." "Itwasme usingthe tools thatI had tolookofftotheleft andoffto theright tomakesuretherewere not anyexplosivehazards thatwereburiedoff  inthebush." "EOB techs have a special job, obviously." "Theirjobis to keeppeople alive and to keep people safe." "You'rehavingto learn alotof things aboutphysics, orthechemistry that'sassociated withexplosives, but you also have to be a person that is, say, capable of opening up the hood of a car" "and working on an engine, and then on top of that, you have to have a person that has the stones to go stand on top of a bomb andsay, "I'mgonnadisarmthis."" "Itwasn'ttoolongago,  myoldhighschool reachedoutto me to go  toa speakingengagement." "The principal, he was introducing me, telling the story of, you know," ""I pulled your file, Brian." "The very first thing on the top of that page, the very first incident you ever did when you were a freshman here in high school is you let a few stink bombs off." "I think we could've predicted back then that you might have a future in, in blowing things up."" "So, and I guess I did." "Iwasraised inGrandRapids,Michigan." "It'slike agreatblue-collararea." "It's just close enough to a city, but I was in the suburbs." "Youknow, Igrewup watchingGIJoe,  andI grewup rolling andplayingin themud  andplayingwithguns andbeingakid  thatwasouttherehunting." "And so, I always wanted to be in the military." "I think it was something that I knew probably from a very young age, and I think at the time that I was raised, in the place that I was raised, it was just so proudly touted," "you know, the pride that everybody has in America, and I wanted to be a part of that growing up." "WhenI firstentered themilitary," "I became a combat engineer, and a part of what you do is, you do a little bit of work with explosives." "You do work with landmines, with cratering, with things like that, and that's kind of where I got my first real taste of working with demolition." "And so I said okay, I'm gonna become a bomb technician." "It'ssomething thatyouactually havetovolunteerfor ." "I basically began the process to select and assess for an Army special operations bomb technician unit that was being newly created specifically to support the Army Rangers." "I had known about the tradition of Army Rangers, you know, long ago, andI hadsomeopportunities toworkwiththoseguys , andI wasalways veryimpressed bytheworkthatthey did and,youknow,impressed withtheethicthatthey had." "Andsowhenthisunit  wasbeingcreated, basically saying Army Rangers are out there on the battlefield, they don't have a specific group of bomb technicians that can meet the need of, of working on the battlefield." "I went through a very rigorous selection and assessment process as a part of joining this team." "He'sprobablyone ofthebesttechs thatwe'vehad that I worked with, hands down." "I mean, he would move through, through areas where I was kind of, you know, tiptoeing around, hoping I don't step on something." "He'd just walk right by me like, "Get outta the way." "I'm trying to look for something," you know." "Looking for tripwire and stuff like that, and here I am on eggshells." "You know, that's a big threat factor, these IEDs, and Brian is the one that's eliminating this threat factor." "Andhesavedour butts afewtimesbeforehand, so,youknow, wehaveconfidence." "Youlearnthe-- thehazardsof thejob , andyoulearnthe bestway thatyoucancombat thosehazards." "You'renevergonna completelyremoverisk fromthejob thatyou'redoing, but you know what the risks are, and you know that somebody has to take those risks for the purpose of something that's bigger and more important" "than ourselves as individuals." "Iknewthat everysinglenight thatI was goingoutwiththem," "I was going to have the opportunity to, very likely, put myself in between, you know, these guys that I call my brothers and something that, that's trying to kill them." "playing ]" "Workingoutthere onthebattlefield duringthistimeframe, we were seeing Improvised Explosive Devices, ambushes, and enemy gunfire on practically every single mission that we were a part of, and it seemed like 90% of the people that we were going after" "were IED builders, IED, you know, facilitators." "Wewoulduse satelliteimagery tofigureout, "Okaythisis where we'regonnaland, andthisis gonnabe thebestroute towalkto thiscompound, and sometimes you'd have to sacrifice safety" "for efficiency and vice-versa, and depending on whatever intel you had about that." "Astheexplosiveexpert thatwas apartof thatteam, partofmy job duringtheplanningphases was to say, "This is where our target is." "Here's every Improvised Explosive Device that's gone off as long as I can find history for this."" "Iwouldactually getsomereports becauseI wouldwork ina conjunction withtheguyswho did myjob fromSpecialForcesteams, and I share it with the platoon leader, which is what I do for a job." "Ialwayswanted tobein themilitary." "When I was really small, you know, Rambo and Top Gun and all these movies were coming out, and Arnold Schwarzenegger in Commando, and I really got interested in the military at a very young age." "I" "Mymomwantedme togoto college becausemytwoolderbrothers werealreadyin theArmy." "So, I went for one semester, didn't tell them I dropped out, went and signed up and got into the military." "They weren't too happy about that, so." "Myfather alwaysraisedus up , youdidsomething, youhaveto do it  tothefinish." "Thatcarriedon  tothemilitaryalso." "Imean,obviouslythat'show Igotto theRangerRegiment." "I,I didn'tevergo totheconventionalArmy." "Iwentstraightthrough-- Fromselection," "Iwentstraight toSecondRangerBattalion." "At that time they were revamping our reconnaissance section, and I went and tried out." "For me, it was everything that I wanted to do, and I was good at it." "Individualswhoare inthereconnaissancesection arekindof like thecomputergeeks,you know." "We gather intelligence via different means." "They can be sitting on the side of a mountain taking pictures that help us hone in on certain individuals that we're looking for." "Thenweusecertaindevices tohelpus  accomplishthemission." "Wewouldhaveacompound thatwehadpreselected." "These compounds were chosen because they were, you know, advantageous to us in some fashion, and they were chosen because they were in a particular hotspot, andthisis  wheretheTalibanis." "Andwewouldgoin atnight." "Assoonas you getonthebird, you're kinda thinking and practicing in your head, like, what to do when this happens, what to do when that happens, just trying to be mentallyprepared asmuchas youcan ." "We'dgetout,formup, andwait forthehelicopters to take off, just kind of listen, look, listen for a while, and then we make a formation and start walking." "There'sa lotof nights ofwalking someprettylongmiles to take over a very specific area." "So,wewouldraid oneofthesecompounds, clearit, secureallthepeople thatarelivinginthere, andthenwe 'dfortifyit." "Get down, get down, get down!" "We busted out the sledgehammers and the shovels and started putting holes in the walls andsandbaggingeverything wecoulddo  and,andsetupourgunports andgunpoints and set up as best we could." "Andthenwe 'dtake alltheseinhabitants that were living there and we'd say, "Hey, you guys know where the Taliban are." "We want you to go out there and go find somewhere safe to be, leave the area, and tell them that we're right here and that we're here to fight." "Acoupleof times wewouldtake abigoldAmericanflag , andwewouldthrowitup  ontheroof, andwewouldwaitforthem tostartshootingatus." "You know, the sun would come up, and we'd get that first little burst of machine gun fire or something that was aimed at us, and then it was on." "We'dletthem kindofsurroundus." "We'd let them close in on us, get real close." "Ifwecandrawthem in andgetthemintoplaces wherewecansee them weknowwherethey'reat you know, because they don't wear a uniform." "It's difficult, you know, but if we can get all of the civilians outofan area, likeweweredoing, anddraw allofthecombatantsin, sothatwe-- Theywereclearlyidentified," "thenwecouldjust lettheplanesgotowork anddotheirthing." "The Taliban was getting pretty dialed into where, where we were, and they were starting to get closer and closer with their mortar strengths, and one of them came in and landed right in the mortar pit," "right where our guys were." "Doingthismission, theywerejust gettingbeatup , casualtiesleftandright, losingsomeguys." "As a medic, I have to be the guy with the answers." "I have to be the guy who knows what to do." "You want to do your job and actually be fulfilled, but again you don't want your guys to be hurt." "Growingup inColumbus,Nebraska," "Ikindof wanted afreshstart, just kind of wanted to venture out a little bit and kind of see maybe who I was, you know, like what I could get into, you know." "Going into military I knew just one thing, like I wanted to be a medic, and so, as close to a paramedic as I could be." "But being a 20-year-old kid, I definitely didn't feel ready to be able to take care of someone, until I got a slot for SOCM, for a Special Operation Combat Medic course, so that helped out a lot." "I'd just run through our training and our medical assessment just over and over and over again, and just, you know, really pound it in." "Myfirstdeployment wastoKandahar." "We had 50, 60, 70 missions that first deployment." "I mean, no one got hurt, I didn't have to do anything." "Myseconddeployment withTeamMerrill wasprettymuchcompletely different." "You're gonna take casualties, you're gonna take contact, like you definitely will be tested as a medic." "And so me, me with one deployment," "I mean that was kind of very nerve-wracking." "Ourrangermedicsare awesome, andtoseeCodyjust be justasprofessional andjustas elite aseveryothermedic thatI held ata veryhighstandard." "Those guys, for me are the kind of guys that, I would say, are more of like our heroes, because while everybody else is getting to fight, they're trying to save lives." "This is, you know, a very dangerous mission that, that we were all a part of, as is very evident by the number of casualties that were incurred." "We went into some really hot places, and we were usually going into compounds where we had traditionally found a lot of Improvised Explosive Devices." "But in order for me to save the lives that, that I was able to affect," "I had to also be there for the day that, you know, being on the battlefield almost claimed my own life." "September19,2010." "Weweregoingout  fora wholenight." "We were gonna try to draw in the enemy to combat us all day long." "Itwasaboutmy40th , maybe45thmission withthisunit." "Wehadbeendoing thesemissionsalready." "It was no different than what we had been doing." "Theobjective wewereactuallygoingto wasa Talibanstronghold." "We had an intelligence and, from Special Forces guys that we knew that that was a safe house for them." "Alotof missions, assoonas thebirds arecomingin thearea, theyaretakingfire." "This particular one, it was dead quiet, dead quiet." "Comingintoan area thatweknew wasa Talibanstronghold, and nobody in the area kind of flicking their lights off and on, nobody is checking up on us." "Wejustpullour security, andwetakeaknee , and kinda hear that eerie silence and, you know." "All the dust is settling and it's clear again, it's quiet, like almost too quiet." "My job basically was just follow the platoon sergeant around, that's the easiest way for me." "Again, this is my second deployment, so I was just kind of lost in the sauce I guess." "Mypartner,James waswalkingpoint." "Brian Mast, our EOD tech, was right behind him." "We would walk, usually maybe like 100 meters ahead of the rest of the platoon, and they would follow right behind us." "But when you have 50, you know, some odd Rangers with all this gear, all this equipment, it gets loud." "And when it's just the four of us up front, it was pretty quiet." "Maybe I perceive it as safe, and it really isn't." "As a sniper, we would use spotting scopes in our riflescopes to just look." "We're just looking for target indicators." "We're looking for Taliban that are moving into position." " Working with the snipers," " I put the same trust in them that they were protecting me, that they had my back, that I didn't have to worry for one second about somebody jumping out and putting a bullet in me because they were gonna put a bullet in them" "before they could ever get to me." "In our job, you know, we don't deal with explosives." "They, they're terrifying to us, and they ask us to navigate and to walk point and to lead out." "I've always been enamored with snipers." "I always thought that was the coolest thing ever." "I shot a lot of guns growing up." "You know, your dad's a cop, he's got a safe full of guns that we would always go out and go shoot." "I learned that early on and I learned a love for that early on." "Maybe that translated into wanting to do that job, or being able to." "And I would watch war movies, Black Hawk Down specifically." "I watched that movie 75 times." "I was just obsessed with, with being a part of that." "So,myheartwas alwaysset ongoingandbeingaRanger." "Maybe it was just the mystique." "Maybeitwasjust,youknow,  theyhaveaphenomenal reputation." "So I kind of thought, you know, Ranger Regiment, these people here, you know, they want to be here." "They've all endured the same amount of, of-- of suck, I guess is the word." "That's the only one I can think of." "Iwantedto do  theteamMerrilldeployment." "Iwantedthe,the action." "Iwantedto testmyself." "I'm not the strongest, I'm not the fastest or anything, but I'll just keep putting one foot in front of the other." "Can't make me quit, so." "As snipers, we were in charge of navigating, planning routes before the mission even kicked off and getting that platoon to and from the compound that we were going to." "Sobasically weendedup walking averyrudimentarydirtroad  with brush and weeds and, and trees on both sides." "Justtotherightofthat,  rightofftheedge, you have this, maybe six, seven-foot deep sewage canal." "Thewaterwaysaredisgusting, but these are basically outflows for, you know, for human waste." "Ontheotherside ofthatcanalthere'sawall,  andthewallisprobably eightfeethigh." "Wehadto get,you know, all50dudesacrossthis area  togetto wherethe possible Talibanstrongholdwas." "Becauseofthecombination ofthesteepembankment andtheveryhighwall , it was something that we couldn't just ladder over." "That's the, the normal way that we would have preferred to cross a wall like that." "We found a break in the wall that we had previously identified and thought that could be a potential crossing point." "Asweapproached,Isaid ," ""Look, if I was a bomber living anywhere around here, this is exactly where I would place a device." "Wetookthisladder, andwelaidit acrossthecanal, and my partner James walked across, then Brian walks across." "Walkingonthebattlefield puckersyouup ." "Walking across one of these bridging ladders in a wide-open area, it's very likely a place that they might also conduct an ambush." "There might very well be somebody's sights trained on me right now, and so it becomes very precarious." "Brian gets over there, and they do their thing." "They look for tripwires, kind of check the ground to see if there is disturbed earth and see if there's pressure plates or something that was recently dug there." "I'm making sure there's nothing wherethewater meetstheembankment." "Eventually I think I got down on my hands and knees, and I pulled that small handheld metal detector out of my pocket, and I gently probed the earth in front of me to, you know, to look and see if I could find anything" "because I was so convinced that there was something there." "There had to be something there." "We were waiting for them to give us the okay to cross." "Wecan'ttakeforever doingthat,youknow." "Themission,it hastogoon ." "Thethingsthatwe'redoing aretime-sensitive." "And as I remember, you know," "I gave the snipers the signal, indicated that we were gonna move ahead." "Istartwalkingacross, andyou'redoingall this inthemiddleofthenight , andyou'redoingit weigheddownby ,youknow, however heavy your rifle and machine gun is." "You're doing it with a helmet with night vision on." "That is very disorienting." "And I slipped." "It's sewage, It's gross, you know." "And you're soaking wet." "I remember dropping just about every curse word in the dictionary, just furious." "Brian turns around to come back and help pull me out of that creek." "I took maybe one or two steps towards that river way..." "There'sjustacloud of--ofdirt, which browns out your night vision, you can't see a thing." "The blast and the concussion, it's so, so fast, you know, you don't know what that was." "We'restoppedup at thewall withinthefirst10minutes, 15 minutes of, of the objective and where everybody is taking a knee and facing out, and we're figuring out how we're going to get past this obstacle." "And the blast went off." "The plume of smoke went up easily 60, 70 feet into the air." "To be honest, my first assessment was whoever was hit by that, is probably not alive anymore." "The Improvised Explosive Device that I thought was there found me, or, or I found it." "It was just the brightest white flash that I can remember, and, and it blinding me." "You know, in the movies people always think, you hear this click, and then you have time to think, what was that?" "And then an explosion happens." "This just, it happened immediately just as quick as you flick on the lights, and to me it felt like this punch from some heavyweight boxer had just landed on my chin, and it tumbled me through the air." "I can remember feeling like my teeth were rattled from this explosion, and as I'm laying there," "I still had my earphones on and I could hear at that point," ""EOD was hit, that EOD is down." And that's me." "That's what really brought it home, to say I was the one that, that triggered this device." "Ihadno idea whathadjusthappened." "Ithoughtmaybe ithadsomething todowithmefallingin orsomethingbecause itallhappenedat, like, theexactsamemoment" "Brian was coming back to help pull me out of that creek." "I started climbing my way out of the canal." "I got up there, and Brian was laying on his back right in front of this break in the wall." "Thewindis knockedout ofme, andI canremember, all this dust and dirt that had buried this IED in the ground, that was all blown up into me." "And I'm laying there, and I'm realizing, okay, there's some good reason that I can't stand up right now, and I was in a lot of pain." "Istillcan'tsee anything butjustlikethe outline ofa person becauseit'sso brownedout  withsandanddust." "So I started patting down his arms and his legs, and I get to where his knees are, and it stops." "And that didn't click, again." "I didn't realize what had just happened, what I was feeling." "And I did it again, and I looked down to his, about his knees, and then I didn't feel anything else, and I thought, that's really weird." "And that's when my partner started screaming for a medic." "As soon as I hear that, you know, it's just," "I don't know if it's instinct or what, like I started booking straight through towards the, the bridge point." "The training kicks over." "You go on autopilot almost." "ItwasawesometoseeCody immediately react without regard for his own safety." "We could be in a minefield, we don't know, and he didn't care." "It was his job to be there, and that's what Rangers do, we're there for each other." "And he just deadlined straight for him." "I didn't really think of, you know, there could be more IEDs, or could be an ambush or something like that." "I just, you know, someone yelled "medic."" "and that's where I'm gonna go." "Cody comes up there, and he just starts rattling, rattling off tasks, "All right, we gotta get this done,"" "and he's just displaying nothing but the utmost confidence." " I still didn't know who it was." " I mean, I think I saw EOD, soI knew,like, That'sourEODguy ." "That'sMast." "The first thing I look at, I see his legs." "I'm like, that's weird." "What the heck are those tree branches doing sticking out of his legs, like is he laying under, under like a tree branch or something?" "Like, what's going on here?" "And I throw my aid bag down, and I look like, My God, those are his femurs." "And I think he said, like," ""I can't breathe" or whatnot, so that alarmed me, so I threw his body armor off, didn't find any holes." "Youknow,my lungsfeel liketheyarefilledwith , you know, chalk or something." "It was making me cough, and I feel like I'm blinded." "I'm having to wipe all the-- all the dirt and, and all of this out of my eyes," "And it was right about at that time that I really started to figure out that I was seriously injured." "I'm, I'm looking at my left arm," "And my left arm, all of these fingers, they were broken, and they were pointing in just really crazy directions." "Thisscenario." "Ihadbeentrainedon whattodo  in situations like this a hundred times over, and I froze." "It took a minute, it was weird, definitely took a minute, but finally the medic said, "Throw a tourniquet on him,"" "and that's when everything clicked." "That's about when I kind of came out of the haze, and everything kind of kicked back on, you know." "I had a little system reboot and kinda thought," "Okay, I know what to do here." "I put a tourniquet on one of his legs, the medics put one on his other leg and then on his arm." "It's probably the most painful thing that I can remember ever happening." "You know, if the end of my limb looked something like this, they were wrenching a tourniquet down on top of it to tighten it down as tight as they possibly could to make sure I don't hemorrhage out on the battlefield." "We're lucky that, you know, the blast cauterized his legs, and he wasn't bleeding very much." "And then they start working on other things, getting his equipment off, you know, running fluids on him and doing their thing, and at that point I stepped back." "Theplatoonsergeantislike ," ""Doc, you have two minutes to get over across the river before the medevac bird comes down." "Like, he wasn't even on the cot at all, the blanket was, like, getting set up, so we had to start, start booking it." "I remember thinking, "My gosh," you know, "this is crazy."" "Aftertheblast, wepulledsecurity, held on tight." "They continued to work on Brian." "We had, you know, our medics working on him." "I'mworkingon theedge ofthisriverbank, so I'm like, partly falling off and trying not to lose my bag and my gear and not let him fall in, you know, and trying to get him packaged up, so we're like," "we got two minutes to get over across the river." "I'm kind of talking to Brian, trying to get IV access." "I asked him to see if he was, like, with it or not, alert and oriented." "So like, "Hey, Mast, can you tell me your first name?"" "He was asking me questions that they're trained to ask, you know, things to basically help keep my mind sharp and my mind focused and prevent shock." "And he said that I was almost offended as though, you know," "What, you don't, how do you not know my name?" "Hewasn'tscreaming oranythinglikethat, so it kinda, kinda threw me off initially, like I mean, he's lost both your legs, a big wound on your arm, just kind of inappropriately calm, you know?" "Before really getting ready to lift him and move him, he's like, "Hey, can I have something for the med-- for the pain?" I'm like, that hit me like," "Crap, like, how did I completely forget about this?" "I grabbed one of our fentanyl lollipops, just kinda like a morphine derivative." "So then we taped it to his finger and told him to put it in his mouth and just suck on it." "Afterthat,theygot  meontothestretcher, and this all happened in a really quick period of time." " This canal that" " I was doing everything" "Icouldto notfallinto , we had to have a bunch of guys, like, dive in there." "We had a four-person carry team, one on each-- one of the legs of the stretcher." "We kind of had to ladder down." "Brianisabig dude, and he's weighed down by all of his equipment, and carrying him, it was tough, you know." "Itwasaverysurreal experience beingtransported onthestretcher." "We're used to seeing the world go by as we walk around the world vertically, and all of a sudden I'm laying on the flat of my back, and I'm seeing the world go by like this." "As we get close to that helicopter, it kicks up a huge amount of dust and dirt and hay and straw and anything else that might be on the ground." "I don't have any goggles on, and so all of that that the helicopters kick up, it's all landing on top of me." "And it was just, it was a very surreal experience." "You know, somebody gave me a salute and told me that I was gonna be okay." "And that's the last thing that I remember from that night." "Wegothimout ofthat field, and the helicopters picked him up and took off, and it was dead silent." "And we're right back where we started, just short one guy." "Assoonas thatbird left,I wasjustexhausted, like,mentally andkindof physically,too , but we had a whole 30-hour mission ahead of us, so, you know, you don't really have time to relax" "and just do the next part." "Wetookaquick regroupingbreak tokindof figureout where weweregonnagofrom there." "It was about that time that we started to realize that this area that we're working in right now, there's nobody here, and there's all these mines and explosives everywhere, and I just kinda thought," "you know, it's like this is like one giant trap that they set." "You have to fight on to the Ranger objective." "That's, that's the creed." "That's what we do." "Andsowe madeadecision tomoveon  andtocontinuethe mission andfindanew route." "I was terrified." "Terrified." "And, you know, I'm not ashamed to admit that." "I think there's a lot of people that won't, but, you know, that's how I felt." "Wewouldcross theriver,waistdeep, andcrossback andkindago backand forth." "I feel like we crossed it, like, four or five different times, and it sucks getting wet." "Itwasalittle nerve-wrackingtobe walking in waist deep, and up to some parts chest-deep water, and not knowing the next step." "Ittookhour,houranda half,  togetto ourobjective." "That was an occupied compound, people lived there, and we set up shop just like we always do." "Oncewewereall  inthecompound, andwehadall our positions, youjustkindofsitthere  and wait and pull security, kind of calm down and let all this kind of come over you." "That's when I kinda realized that when this blast went off," "I was in this canal, and Brian's standing maybe at four feet offset from where my head was." "Throughout my entire military career, through all the training, through all the missions prior," "I had had nothing but the utmost confidence that I was never frightened by anything." "I had been in, you know, numerous firefights." "I always felt, you know, comfortable in my element, and this totally threw me off." "I was terrified." "Ithoughtwe were, like,thebest,you know." "Noonecantouchus." "We'reinvincible." "It'spartof thetraining, partofthementality, and,youknow,onceyou,  like,haveacasualty or lose one of your own, it's very humbling." "Going through all this stuff together just kind of solidifies your unity." "Say you have bad moments here and there, but, you know, when you're down, someone else is right there to pick you up, too, and you kind of just feed off each other's strength and courage." "Wewerereallytired, andwhenyoudeal withsomething likea medevac, or you see somebody get injured, your adrenaline wears down, and you get a little more drained." "So mentally I was a little more drained, and I was ready to leave." "We had very, very sparse contact that whole day." "It was a very, very quiet mission relative to all the other missions that we had been on." "Ithinkit was 10:00PMlocaltime, it'swhenwe kindof makeourwaytoexfil." "Once I got back to base, not a lot of time to kind of sit and ponder "what if's"" "or what happened here, or I wonder how Brian is doing because you start planning for the next mission, and we gotta go do the same thing the next day." "The next memory that I have is about five days later, when I woke up to this nurse asking me if I knew where I was, and, to which I said, "I have no idea where I am."" "And she said, you know, "Your name is Brian Mast." "You're in Washington DC at Walter Reed Army Medical Center, and you're gonna be in surgery in a couple of hours." "Ididn'tevenknow atthatpoint reallywhatmy injurieswere." "I didn't know that I had just, you know, had both of my legs amputated somewhere above my knees, or that I had a missing index finger or damage to my forearm." "I really didn't know what the injuries were." "I honestly believed, you know, in those first couple of weeks after injury that I was gonna slap on a pair of prosthetics, do physical therapy for a couple of weeks, andI wasgonna beouton thenextrotation," "youknow, withthoseguys, workingon thebattlefieldagain." "Ididn'tfullyrealize thatI wasabouttoenter anewnormaltolife  thatdidn'tinvolve beingonthebattlefield, youknow,withtheseguys  thatI callmy brothers." "I would no longer be able to be an asset to the mission that, you know, if I ever ended up on the battlefield again," "I would probably, in all reality, be a detriment to the mission, and I think that's something that can be very difficult for a lot, for a lot of guys to come to grips with, to some degree." "ThewaythatIperceive thiswholething," "Ithink it'sluckof thedraw." "You know, you have 50-some people, so it's inevitable that somebody is probably gonna step on that." "But I think it was because Brian was coming back to help pull me out of that creek, which was a crazy thought, something I thought about a lot." "I don't think there's, for even one second, that Zach should feel guilty about anything." "We're on the battlefield, and we do the best that we can for each other, for as long as we can do it, in the best way that we know it at that specific second." "So I like to think that, you know, the last thing that I ever did on the battlefield was to put myself between, you know, one of those brothers and possible injury and possible death." "It was supposed to be me." "It wasn't supposed to be him or any of the other Rangers." "Itwasn'tuntil afterthisincident that I really got to, you know, see him, see his personality, kind of see how he handles tragedy, how he handles this, you know, this, this horrible thing that's happened to him." "Being able to walk and regain his normal functioning is just, you know, it's quite the testament of, you know, his strength and his drive." "It's awesome to see a guy like that have so much determination, and he's an inspiration to other veterans who have gone through, you know, situations like his." "Thething thatI 'mmostproudof,  it's not any, any medal or award." "It'swhentheRangers gavemeaceremony tomakeme an honorarymember ofthe75thRangerRegiment." "That day they said," ""You're officially a Ranger." "You're officially one of us."" "HeisaRangerinmy book." "There is no question about that, and a lot of guys are just as hard as him and just as determined as him." "Thatwaspartofwhat  makesmeso proud abouttheseguys thatI workwith, is they are the tip of the spear." "Goingouteverysinglenight, knowingthehazards thattheyweregoing tohaveto combat." "Taking contact and losing guys, it's just kinda, it's hard to put into words that kind of experience." "Just very thankful that you get home alive, in one piece." "I learned more about myself, and more especially about the people that I was working with on that deployment than any other." "Itwasareallearningcurve  and involved life and death." "You couldn't ask for a better group of guys to be with." "ThisMerrilldeployment changedthegame." "Wehadlostseveralguys , welostdogs." "We had at least a quarter, if not a third, of everybody there had received a Purple Heart for getting wounded in some other fashion, whether itwassomething ona grandscale likeBrian losinghislegs," "or somebody just catching a piece of shrapnel." "Americans have always been willing to pay that price, and those Rangers that I work with, they, they embody that every single night."