"nixon?" "Yes." "you remember?" "Of course I remember." "That's funny how many people forget." "It wasn't so long ago." "Ten years." "What was happening in wetherby ten years ago?" "He was a distinguished member of my own profession." "What, liar?" "No, not liar." "Solicitor." "Well, lawyer." "He trained as a lawyer." "Liar or lawyer." "Is there a difference?" "I wonder, have we got time for another drink?" "Wouldn't it be marvelous if nixon walked in now?" "Right now!" "You just can't help it." "It would cheer everybody up." "Oh, I can't go on." "Oh, stanley." "Oh, we've lived in this town for too long." "Aye." "time, gentlemen, please." "I'll tell you the best thing about nixon." "Shouldn't you be getting back to school?" "No." "No, listen." "I'll tell you the one story about nixon." "All right?" "When he first met pat, she didn't like him very much." "So, after a bit, she said she didn't want to see him anymore." ""well," he said, "it breaks my heart, pat." "I'll only stop seeing you on one condition." "what's that?" she said." ""that I can always be the chauffeur"." "When she went out with men, say, to the cinema, he'd drive them." "He'd drive them all the way to the cinema." "They'd go in, her and her date, and he'd wait outside." "He'd wait outside during the whole film." "With a packet of popcorn or a piece of chewing gum." "And then they'd come out, and he'd drive them home." "I ask you, what does that tell you about nixon?" "Jean, I ask you, what does that tell you about pat?" "If you want to be loved in life," "There's no use in having opinions." "I think you're right." "People who get loved are easy." "Easy to get along with." "jean." "Have we lost the corkscrew?" "I can't do the bloody thing!" "There's a new girl at work, at the library." "The sort of girl men fall for." "Vacant." "Cool?" "Yeah, distant." "That's right." "She doesn't really have a personality." "She just has a way of suggesting to men" "That she'll be whatever they want her to be." "Not a person." "Not a real person." "What's she done, this girl?" "Well, I'll tell you..." "Just being this thing you object to, or has she done anything wrong?" "She exists." "She's young?" "Yes, if you like." "She's young." "So w" "It's an offense." "But there's no her!" "There's nothing which is her!" "I look at the young, truly, and I'm mystified." "They want nothing." "They need nothing." "They have no ambition." "Get married, have children, get a mortgage." "A hundred thousand years of human evolution." "Brontosaurus, tyrannosaurus, man." "And the sum ambition?" "Two up, two down in the west riding of yorkshire" "On a custom-built estate of brick and glass." "That's not right." "Is it?" "Well, can anyone tell me?" "She's young." "That's all you're saying." "She's young." "I think it's fixed." "Thank you." "A slate fell off in the middle of the night." "I was frightened to go up." "It's all right." "Shall we go down?" "I knew you'd say that." "I knew you would." "Lethal." "It wasn't heath phelps." "It was!" "No, no, no." "It was." "Don't you remember the size of the hailstones?" "There weren't any hailstones, stanley." "Don't be ridiculous." "Yes, it was!" "It was pissing with rain!" "Ah, coffee." "Whether our faces show." "This is the question." "We read a face." "We look into a face." "Into that face all sorts of things we claim to read." "Mary here." "Or john." "John's got a sly face." "he has, too." "He has got a sly face." "He's got sly features." "Is john a sly boy?" "he's sly, all right." "Right." "Do we become the way we look?" "Or do we look the way we really are?" ""if thou hast eyes to see..."" "It's about the play." "Will you be needing me?" "I'll be needing you, all right." "Will you do it?" "I should think so." "Good day, miss." "See you." "Miss travers, I was wondering," "Do you have time for a chat?" "Miss travers, do you think there's any point" "In my going on in the sixth form?" "Of course." "Don't be silly." "What makes you say that?" "It's just that everyone seems to end up unemployed." "Not everyone." "But, um, I do know what you mean." "You get a university degree, like in french." "Then what?" "Maybe you get to be a secretary, and that's if you're lucky." "Honestly, I've really thought about it," "And I don't really think it's worth it, you see." "That's not what education is, though, suzie." "If you're thinking, "I must use education for a career,"" "Then you're already thinking of education..." "In the wrong way." "Education..." "Is a thing in itself." "It's a way of fulfilling your potential," "Looking for ways of thinking about things" "Ways which, if you're lucky," "Will help not just your career, but your whole life." "What ways?" "Well..." "Ways of being more ordered, I suppose," "Of having more discipline in the way you think." "Not always being bullheaded," "Learning not to rush into things." "Do you think uneducated people do that?" "Well, I don't." "No." "Not necessarily." "I mean..." "Sometimes." "Are they inferior for not knowing how to think?" "No." "Of course not." "But if you have something" "What you call a way of thinking- which they don't," "Surely you're saying you're superior." "No, suzie." "I wouldn't say that." "What, then?" "Different." "Better or worse?" "I brought you some pheasants." "Am I disturbing you?" "Well, I'll make some tea." "I love the slow evenings, when summer begins to come." "It doesn't get dark until 8:00." "Are you staying long with marcie?" "No." "I don't know marcie." "What?" "But you said..." "What?" "When you came to dinner." "I met her on the doorstep." "I thought..." "Who invited you?" "No one." "Are you saying... it's not possible." "Are you saying..." "I met marcie on the doorstep." "I introduced myself." "I thought you came with her." "No." "It's not possible." "Then I said john morgan, if you remember." "Yes." "And you shook my hand." "Come on." "Come in, come in." "The more, the merrier." "And you accepted me." "I'll lay an extra place." "Thank you." "It's absurd." "It's impossible." "No." "no!" "No!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "No." "Yes!" "Don't you mean yes?" "I mean yes!" "Yes!" "Let me see." "Let me look at you." "You're not meant to." "I know." "Do you fly these?" "Not a chance." "Engine fitters don't get to fly." "It's three years before you get to go on a flying course." "Longer, maybe, and then not one of these." "Really?" "They take the troops out in these..." "To the jungle." "Oh!" "To the war." "You come down seven times before you get to malaya." "It takes over a week." "By the time you get there, you know you've been traveling." "I'm sure." "Did you realize you might have to fight when you joined?" "You're an airman, you want to fly." "You're a soldier, you want to fight." "Not much point else." "No." "I'll walk you home." "Happen if I were killed, I'd still say fine." "I joined to fight." "Didn't have to." "Could just have done national service," "Tramped the parade ground." "We're not even at war." "Well, not properly at war." "Half a war." "Malaya's half a war." "But I liked the idea." "Is your mum in bed?" "I think so." "If she ever asks, we saw the third man." "Jean?" "Still awake?" "Yes." "How was it?" "Good." "Orson wells killed all these children," "Then they shot him in a sewer in the end." "That's good." "Yes." "Good night." "Never dreamt..." "Never thought any such happiness possible." "Hiding in the dark." "Loving a man in the dark." "Never knew any such happiness possible at all." "How bad is it?" "Why did he do it?" "Depressed, I suppose." "So why did he do it in here?" "I love the warm evenings." "Something." "Tea?" "Doesn't get dark till eight." "How long are you staying with marcia?" "I'm not." "Shock." "Moves towards him." "What do you mean?" "He explains." "Unbelievable." "Right pocket." "That's it." "there seems little point..." "Ah!" "My goodness!" "I'm sorry, you startled me." "New lock?" "The chances of the same thing happening again..." "Anyway, I let him in." "Well, it doesn't matter how well you're locked up." "At times you're always going to have to let people in." "Are you all right?" "Yes." "I've been trying to sleep, as best I may." "Yes, I'm sorry." "We don't clean up afterwards." "We just take the body away." "It seems a bit callous, I know." "But the thinking is..." "That if we always had to clear up," "The police would spend their entire life on their knees." "How are you getting on?" "Well, we have something." "He was a student." "I see." "Yes." "He was working for his doctorate" "At the university of essex." "He came to the town a few days ago and rented a room." "Are you a graduate yourself?" "Yes." "A subject of much mirth." "A graduate policeman." "This man wasn't my generation." "He was younger." "He was only 25." "He came to research at the british library down the road." "A blankness." "A central, disfiguring blankness." "That's what people who knew him describe." "Yes, it's true." "I've been trying to remember." "He said so little at dinner, until late in the evening." "He s-seemed already set on a path." "It's funny." "I mean, looking back," "I took it for granted that he was there." "Yes." "Well, that's right." "I mean, I've often been out to dinner," "And not been quite sure who somebody was." "No." "Quite." "Though, usually, it is different if you're the hostess." "Anyway, it turns out it wasn't completely out of the blue." "Um, the day before, he'd seen marcia pilborough." "As you know, she works at the library." "Oh, I see." "And he'd, um, gone up to her." "They'd had a conversation." "He wanted to borrow a book." "Afterwards, we think, he probably waited" "And started to follow her." "oh, well, I see." "It's beginning to make sense." "Well, would-would you say..." "I'm sorry." "I know these things are very difficult," "But would you say that marcia was, in any way," "A woman who was likely to have been..." "Deliberately provocative?" "Look." "I mean, is lying, and brought him to dinner..." "Deliberately, or as a joke?" "Oh, I'm sorry." "I don't mean to be rude, but marcia's my best friend." "I don't think that would be possible at all." "he said I'm the best builder in wetherby." "He said that." "I knew you'd like it." "When did you take it?" "and he said to me..." "He said he'd come around..." "Look everyone." "Look what marcia's brought me." "A picture of my house." "Lovely." "Do you like it?" "clever girl." "Hmm." "It's great." "Jim..." "Jim, no." "Don't, for goodness sake." "Goodness." "Is this a party wall?" "Jim?" "What?" "Please." "It's undignified." "Unladylike." "Yes." "Jim!" "Oh, lord, it's my mother." "What?" "Let me down." "I want to make love to you." "Jim." "jean, are you home?" "I'm home." "Is there anything you need?" "No." "No, I'm fine." "Do you know how long you'll be staying?" "Uh, just a couple of days." "Oh, well done, stanley." "Thanks." "Jean?" "We brought you some breakfast." "Thank you, marcia." "I'm just coming down." "Take the paper, stanley." "Hide it." "We've got you bacon and eggs!" "Why hide it?" "I thought she was there when it happened." "Well, she doesn't want to be reminded." "Would you?" "Good morning." "No paper, I'm afraid." "I think there's a strike." "All right?" "Well, I'm not in the pink." "Oh, I shouldn't wonder." "Did you sleep?" "I had dreams." "Does anyone know why he did it?" "And why on earth should he come and choose to do it to you?" "It was me who met him first." "I don't know why I didn't think of it at the dinner." "I'd met him already." "He could have done it to me." "I think the lonely recognize the lonely." "Well, you're not lonely." "I only want coffee." "Stan, do you mind?" "Would you go and do something useful?" "Do you know how to do it with a filter?" "Well, have you searched back over all your behavior?" "Did you offend him in any way?" "That's what I've been thinking." "Or perhaps we upset him." "Perhaps you looked like his mother." "Huh!" "No, it is possible." "I read in a book." "No, I think it was more what we shared." "What's that?" "I told you." "A feeling for solitude." "Well, you may have thought that, but to shoot your head off..." "Oh, please." "Marcia, the bacon's too much." "Oh, god." "Oh, it hadn't occurred to me." "I'm sorry, jean." "I..." "I just didn't think." "I'll take it out." "Oh jean, I'm sorry." "It's out." "It's almost out." "If you're frightened of loneliness, never get married." "I'm not frightened." "I'm hardened by now." "Come in, come in." "Nice to meet you." "This is jean." "Mrs. Mortimer." "And this is jim's father." "Hello." "Please, sit down, sit down." "I've baked you some scones, and there's battenburg cake." "You're looking very thin, lad." "Nay, I've-I've been fine." "And so you'd be giving up college, then?" "No, I don't think so, mr." "Mortimer." "Ah." "Jim thought as he'd be away for so long and so often," "It's better if I occupy myself." "I think I have a place at the university of hull." "Are you sure?" "You don't think a woman who's going to get married" "Should be thinking of going off away from her home." "But jim won't be there." "He'll be in malaya." "He'll want to know you're where you belong." "What difference would it make if he'd not be with me?" "He'll want to know you're at home." "I can't honestly see it'd make any difference." "Any home life we have is bound to be interrupted at the start." "We'll see each other so little for a bit." "Seven years?" "Is that right?" "Well, not necessarily." "Doesn't jim speak?" "The air force will give me a house later," "When I'm back from active service." "For now it's nice if jean goes on with her books." "More battenburg?" "Did you bake it yourself?" "Don't be daft." "You shouldn't worry." "They made me feel stupid." "Why?" "Perhaps it is silly." "Impractical." "Well, we're always so happy together." "It never occurs to us there's a world of people out there." "We can't spend our life with the sheets up over our heads." "How can you make battenburg?" "No one can make battenburg." "Half of it's pink!" "Jim, I know." "I was frightened, that's all." "You know nothing." "The angle..." "Yeah." "Of the body means murder is probably discounted." "There's forensic evidence, fingerprints." "Nobody else touched the gun." "At the inquest, I shall be arguing it's suicide." "You look disappointed." "No." "Not at all." "Where is it?" "Derby." "That's where he came from." "All right." "Lads need the space." "New fire hose demonstration." "Not in here, for christ's sake." "Not real fire hoses, idiot." "Slide show." "No problem, all right?" "Stick your thumb up your bum for a bit." "Do fuck-all anyway." "Hey mike, look at this." "What is it?" "Famous people without their clothes on." "Celebrity nudes." "Jesus, look at her." "Sergeant, what do you mean?" "Celebrity nudes here, look." "It's jackie kennedy." "Jackie kennedy." "All women?" "Yup." "No men?" "Hey, isn't that suppose to be, um, britt ekland?" "It's a bit of a bad likeness." "He must have been in the bushes." "No." "Men'd be taking the joke much too far, wouldn't it?" "it's cilla black." "You don't need to take flowers." "I can't explain it." "I just thought I would." "Jean, I'm sorry." "I was just settling your class." "We weren't expecting you." "I thought I'd feel better if I came in." "I gave them some books and told them to shut up." "Hmm." "Good." "Well, uh..." "You must come around to dinner." "Yes." "I'd like to." "I-I mean, uh..." "We must have you back." "We don't see enough of you." "Bye." "Right." "Come on." "Heads out of the books." "Please everyone, that's not how I teach, as you know." "Mr. Braithwaite said you weren't going to be here today, miss." "You have a pleasant surprise." "Board please, marjorie." "Please, miss, I forgot to hand in my book." "Shut up." "Sit down." "Open a window." "Uh, miss, you've still got your fag in your mouth." "Good." "Right." "Today..." "We address ourselves to the question," "Is shakespeare worth reading although it's only about kings?" "Hello." "Sorry." "I don't mean to surprise you." "It's all right." "I should have rung." "I've come from the funeral." "I'm a friend of john morgan's." "Come in." "I had a kind of inkling he might do something silly." "I always thought he was weird." "Were you at the same university?" "He was post-graduate." "I'm just a first-year." "Had you..." "Been going out with him?" "No." "I never slept with him." "Went to the cinema twice." "Seen that film about the indian." "Gandhi?" "That's right." "Afterwards, he couldn't stop talking." "He thought this and he thought that." "The philosophy of nonviolence and so on." "And I really didn't think anything." "Except that, obviously, the film was very long." "In that way, we weren't even suited." "I think he was trying to impress me." "He chose the wrong way." "I like people who are just themselves." "Not talking rubbish all the time." "I know I shouldn't say that about anyone who's dead, but..." "Anyone who did what they did to you..." "He certainly upset me." "Yes." "I can tell." "Then he started to pester me." "I had to go to his professor to ask him to stop watching me." "The worst was in the laundrette." "I think it was me he wanted to do it to." "And just by bad luck, he did it to you." "Are you going back?" "When?" "This evening." "I don't really have any plan." "I only came up on an impulse." "Then a policeman at the funeral gave me a lift." "Who was that?" "He was called langdon." "I'd never have thought of it." "It was his idea I should come." "So how long had you known him?" "Who?" "John morgan." "Oh, him." "I don't know." "Do you have a television?" "Yes." "I've got one." "It's behind the chair." "I hardly ever watch it." "I watch it most evenings." "At university?" "They have a room you can sit in." "Do you mind if I get it out?" "I held a very important position." "pull yourself together, for god's sake." "I've finished in the bathroom." "Good night." "How was the funeral?" "Ghastly." "I had to go to derby." "And it started to rain." "There's only his mother left alive." "She had no idea why he'd done it." "Seems as if neither do you." "Have you been riding?" "Hmm." "That's why I fell asleep." "We broke in a new horse." "So, I'm saddle-sore." "The problem is..." "No crime has been committed." "Killing yourself is legal, even in front of somebody else." "Hmm." "Unless she did something to provoke him." "Yes." "She'd only known him 24 hours." "She is..." "What?" "A teacher, obviously good at her job." "Loved by her pupils." "Did she teach you?" "No." "But I remember her." "She was nice." "A good woman..." "Chosen, for some reason," "As the victim of the ultimate practical joke." "I told stanley not to get drunk." "it's true, it's true." "I don't watch that." "I watch that thing on sundays." "Hello, verity." "Hello, darling." "Roger won't watch it" "Because he says it's full of jokes about blacks." "No." "I didn't say that." "It's just that particular kind of joke about blacks." "Hello, stanley." "Oop!" "I need some more wine." "Ta-da." "Oh." "No, red, it's for cooking." "well, you're wrong." "I think if they want to be accepted as british," "Then they'll have to put up with the fact that they will" "Be the butt of peoples' humor..." "Just like mothers-in-law." "Do you know who that bloke is?" "Stanley, don't be rude." "He's a friend of jean's." "Here we are." "Stan, will you open this?" "Yes." "Roger..." "Do you know, uh, john?" "Uh, yes." "This is verity." "And if you actually don't make jokes about blacks," "It's reverse discrimination saying they don't really belong." "No, you have to say..." "I don't have to say anything." "Jews make jokes about jews." "It's called "jewish humor."" "When we do it, it's called anti-semitism." "Don't you agree?" "You do realize this is an emotional argument?" "So?" "It has no basis in logic whatsoever." "Oh, logic." "Yes!" "You know, logic, that holds society together." "Logic that says people shouldn't go around killing each other." "Quite right." "And that also tells us..." "Look..." "Please!" "I've started, so please let me finish!" "Magnus magnusson." "Logic also tells us that there must be constraints," "And that, if people went around saying exactly what they feel," "The result would be barbarism." "And I prefer civilization." "That's all." "Thank you." "Roger dislikes anyone being allowed to express themselves." "He sees it as a threat to property values." "I don't think that's quite fair." "He won't allow a firework display for fear a rocket falls on our thatched roof." "Now you're raising a different point." "Life is dangerous!" "Don't you realize?" "And sometimes, there's nothing you can do!" "That's not true." "I think you can always limit the danger." "What do you say, john morgan?" "Speak up." "Intercede." "It's a marriage." "You must adjudicate between warring parties." "Well, I can see both sides, I suppose." "Oh, well, goodness." "How are you?" "This is a coincidence." "Um..." "Chrissie, this is jean travers." "Hello." "Hello." "Is this a coincidence?" "Good lord, yes." "I've given up thinking about you." "Oh, yes." "Um, do, please." "Or would I be interrupting?" "No." "Not in the slightest." "Uh, chrissie came into leeds to pick up some gear." "I ride horses." "I said I'd take her and we'd go to the cinema." "Yes." "Thank you." "a beer please." "Yes, and me." "So, what are you doing?" "Oh, I don't know." "I've already ordered." "Right." "I'm afraid I got frightened." "Frightened?" "Yes." "Are you living on your own?" "No, as it happens, I'm not." "This girl came to stay with me." "Oh, she stayed?" "Yes." "A friend of john morgan's." "Have you heard about this?" "Yes." "So you know what I mean." "And then today..." "I just..." "I was going to go home and..." "Then I somehow, I couldn't face it;" "I just had to get out." "Why does she frighten you so much?" "It sounds silly." "Well, I can't get hold of her." "She arrived on my doorstep," "And I thought, "oh, she really wants to speak to me,"" "Because we've had a similar experience, I suppose." "But it's as if she had a faculty missing." "She seems to say something and then it just slips away." "She has no curiosity." "Also..." "She asked if she could stay the night." "I said fine." "The next day she didn't leave and yesterday she asked to stay." "It's hard to say, but..." "I can understand how morgan became obsessed with her." "Did he?" "Yes." "Violently, I think." "She's the sort of girl that people become obsessed with." "Excuse me." "Well, I mean, I can hardly wake her up and say," ""this is my friend the policeman," "And he offered to come around and tell you to leave."" "No." "Um, I don't know." "Everything gets to seem spooky." "Is that where the tile was?" "Yes." "And he fixed it?" "What?" "How did he fix it?" "From the inside?" "Chrissie's waiting for you." "Yes." "Thank you for driving me home." "I have a list of books I was hoping to borrow." "I'm sorry." "You've been misinformed." "This isn't a lending library, you know." "It's the british library, lending division?" "Yes, I know." "But we don't lend books." "Or, only under very special circumstances." "I have a letter from my professor." "Well, that won't be nearly special enough, I'm afraid." "Or just to look at the books, not borrow them." "Oh, yes, yes." "You can look," "As long as you're a registered user." "But you need authorization from london." "Yes." "Well, I'll get that." "Then I'll come back." "Go to bed." "Bed!" "We're off now, stanley." "Don't forget to unthaw the lunch." "Clearing out all that jumble began to upset me." "Really?" "Didn't you feel like that?" "The past, you mean?" "Mmm." "That isn't like you." "Second-hand clothes." "They say that murderers are drawn to the second-hand." "I hadn't heard that." "Yes." "There's a book." "You like murder, roger." "Yes, oh god, yes." "I'm addicted." "Yes." "There's a theory that murder is characteristically" "Committed by people who handle other peoples' things" "In second-hand clothes shops, junk shops, markets." "Self-improvement." "That's another hallmark." "People who teach themselves things at home, at night." "Theories they only half understand." "Informal education." "A fantasy life of singular intensity." "Didn't you go to switzerland last year?" "Yes." "I, uh..." "Yes." "A package tour." "To the reichenbach falls." "There were 40 of us from all over England." "To see where moriarty pushed sherlock holmes over." "Wonderful countryside." "What did verity think?" "Ah." "She didn't come with me." "No." "A colleague from home economics came along." "Do you like murder?" "Not much." "But I prefer it to romance." "Hello, lil." "Sorry we're late." "The dog was sick." "Oh, dear." "It's on a high-fiber diet." "You know what it's like." "I don't think it likes mueslix." "The river flows dark tonight, sir thomas." "Will you take my boat?" "Boatman, though I do not mean to deprive you of your livelihood," "I cannot take your boat." "For if I travel tonight, I shall travel to the tower." "They say that is a place from which no man can return." "Aye, not alive." "But boatman, we are put on this earth to serve god's will," "And if I do it tonight, and in the fullness of my heart," "He shall protect me and lead me to a better place" "Than any we have known in the world." "I wish you qood fortune, sire." "Thank you, boatman." "You are lucky to know no kings." "Here, take gold." "Remember me in your prayers." "So what do you do?" "Well, come on." "Answer me." "I don't want janice to take "a" level english." "Because we want her to get on." "We bought her a home computer." "Surely you can tell me what your name is?" "Now, look!" "Excuse me." "she's cut her hand." "I wasn't saying anything!" "I didn't do anything." "What's your problem, man?" "Please, mr." "Varley, come back!" "What did he say?" "I don't know." "What difference does it make?" "Why can't people leave me alone?" "What did he want?" "Who?" "That parent." "Nothing." "He just asked questions." "What kind?" "Oh, you know." "Who was I?" "What was I doing here?" "That sounds quite innocent." "It's just..." "I hate it." "All this asking that goes on." "People digging around." "The way people have to dig into one another." "It's horrible." "Did you say that to john morgan?" "Yes." "Well..." "I did." "No wonder." "I think you drove him crazy." "I don't know what you mean." "No, well..." "Exactly." "That's why." "Goodness, I don't mean deliberately." "I don't mean you meant to." "I never do anything!" "I never say anything!" "Karen." "Karen?" "It's me." "Karen, listen to me, please." "Get out of here." "I only want to talk." "Fuck you!" "Get out!" "No, look." "You must listen to me." "Please!" "I want some feeling!" "I want some contact!" "I want you fucking near me!" "Ah!" "Oh!" "Please don't go." "You make an effort." "You try and be nice!" "Try and do anything!" "You just get your head chopped off." "Why try?" "Anyway..." "Tell me." "Go on, tell me, since you're so clever." "What did you do?" "Oh, karen." "If it wasn't an accident," "I'd love to know what you did." "Oh, karen." "Karen..." "Come back!" "if I had the guts, I'd just say to him," ""look." "I don't want you to go." "I need you."" "Why don't you say that?" "Because to him, it's everything." "Being an airman is everything." "Until he gets to malaya," "He isn't going to feel being an airman is real." "What do you feel?" "I don't know." "Of course I don't like it." "Are you frightened he's going to get killed?" "No." "No, of course not." "I hadn't even thought of it." "Why'd you say that?" "I'm sorry." "I didn't think." "With him I can't talk." "With him I can't say anything I feel." "Because I read books," "I feel, for some reason, I'm not allowed to talk." "There's always a gulf." "Doesn't seem a very good basis for marriage." "No, I suppose." "Perhaps..." "Perhaps sex isn't everything." "No." "It's time that you talked to him." "Soon he'll be gone." "Jim." "Jim, it's hopeless." "How can it work anymore" "Snatching time when my mum's out at cards," "Knowing we can't get married because of your parents?" "We'll get married." "Eventually, yes." "When you finally get back from malaya." "But it's so long, it makes everything seem pointless." "Don't you think we should be sensible?" "No." "Hmm." "Hello, boy." "There's a man out here to see you." "...At its most basic." "Or at least not conveying the sense." "That's a possibility." "You've got to take that into account." "Yes, I understand." "I don't want to press you." "No." "Go ahead." "Hello." "How are you?" "...Your arms above your head." "I'm just taking that as an example." "Does that necessarily mean you're happy?" "You look shattered." "...Happiness in certain circumstances" "According to those circumstances, certainly, yes." "Or, it can mean release, or triumph." "I'm afraid I've had some trouble at home." "Chrissie went back to her husband." "She had one already?" "Oh, yes." "Who she told me she never saw anymore." "But all the time..." "I don't know." "It turns out I was a subplot." "The real story was happening elsewhere." "That's a terrible feeling." "Yeah." "The worst." "It's shaken my whole idea of myself." "You know, what I'm doing as a policeman." "I mean, if the day was no good, if it was..." "Awful or silly, I could always go back to chrissie and laugh." "Now it turns out that she wasn't really with me." "She laughed..." "But she was elsewhere." "What's he like?" "Awful." "He's the sort of man who keeps sheep." "I mean, for god's sake," "If you want wool, go and buy it in a shop." "Listen." "I'll tell you why I'm here." "I was piecing together the evening." "Can't you leave it?" "Well, yes." "This is just an amateur's interest." "all right." "It's just that..." "There was food..." "Then there was talking..." "Then you went upstairs." "Didn't you have a few moments alone with him?" "When you were together..." "What did you talk about?" "Fixing the roof." "It's just that roger- your colleague, roger- says..." "That when you came back, he remembers that you'd changed." "Changed?" "Not, uh..." "I don't mean..." "I'm not saying..." "As a person." "Your clothes." "Well, I put on my trousers." "I'd snagged my stocking." "Oh, gosh." "Poor you." "So, how are you managing alone?" "Don't you think you should tell me?" "What happened?" "Was it your fault?" "I th..." "I think." "In a way." "It's because he was a stranger." "No." "I'm not sure I can explain." "Because I didn't know him." "Now I can feel him dragging me down." "I thought I could get over it," "But now, everywhere, the darkness beckons." "These things become real." "He wants me down there." "Well, you have to fight." "Well, I have fought." "how dare you?" "I fought for three weeks, and you didn't help." "Sending me that miserable little girl." "What gives you that right?" "To meddle?" "Police always bring sadness." "I'm going to sit here." "I won't go away." "Now, stanley..." "Don't drink too much, please." "Last night, you were stupid with gin." "I like gin." "Oh." "I rang the bell." "Well, she can see us through the window." "Jean?" "I'm john morgan." "hello." "Oh, you brought an extra." "Come on." "Come on in." "The more, the merrier." "John morgan." "I've already told stanley not to get drunk." "What?" "Revenge." "That's what it is." "Revenge!" "That's what she's doing!" "who?" "The prime minister." "She's taking some..." "Terrible revenge for something." "Some deep damage." "Something inside." "God knows what." "For crimes behind the privet hedge." "And now the whole country's suffering!" "Yet we've done nothing to her." "Do you think that?" "Yes, I do." "Coq au vin." "oh!" "Wonderful!" "Stanley, you're drunk." "One drunk?" "Yes, I am." "Drunk and disorderly," "Where once I was orderly." "Who's first?" "I used to keep my thoughts in neat rows like vegetables." "All pegged out under cloches." "I kept my thoughts under cloches." "Now, they grow wild." "Marcia?" "Oh, sorry." "You wouldn't know." "I am the local solicitor." "The town's official sanctifier of greed." "Those little unseemly transactions." "I'll just take some of this." "Verity." "I see people as they truly are." "nonsense." "Oh, this smells marvelous." "I remember once, my father," "Also a solicitor," "Said, "I have learnt never to judge" "Any man from his behavior with money and the opposite sex."" "Yet it is my own saddened experience" "That those are the only ways to judge them." "salad?" "thank you." "stanley thinks good of nobody." "Not true." "I expect good of nobody." "Thank you." "And I'm sometimes pleasantly surprised." "There we are." "And when I find good," "My first feeling" "Is one of nostalgia for something we've lost." "Here, take." "Thanks." "Ask john morgan." "John." "Well, I don't know." "go on." "I only know..." "Goodness..." "And anger..." "And revenge..." "And evil..." "And desire." "These seem to me far better words than" "Neurosis and psychology and paranoia." "These old words." "These good, old words have a sort of..." "Conviction," "Which all this modern apparatus of language now lacks." "ah, well, yes." "We bury these words." "These simple feelings." "We bury them deep." "And all the building over that constitutes this century" "Will not wish these feelings away." "Yes, well, you'll have to say what you really mean by that." "Would I?" "Yeah." "Define your terms." "They don't need defining." "If you can't feel them, you might as well be dead." "Well..." "What do you think?" "Well, of course, you look wonderful." "You don't like me going." "What makes you say that?" "I've never said that." "I've encouraged you." "I can see it's your happiness." "You've never been happier than today." "I've always told you, you must do what you want." "Yes." "You supported me, and..." "And I've been grateful." "I'll come back." "We'll have a house." "If you want to stop me, you can." "No." "I'll study." "I've lots to do." "Are you being true with me?" "True?" "What's it mean?" "If you've anything to say, speak it now." "Nothing." "good-bye." "Oh!" "Where'd that come from?" "Oh, god." "It looks as if your roof is in trouble." "I'm very practical." "Right." "Show me your money." "Put that in your shoe." "Let's go in." "What you said..." "What you said about those feelings, it made such sense." "Yes." "I thought you'd understand me." "It's here." "Take part in your game." "We would like to." "We have heard, the best game of poker in malaya." "Okay." "Thanks very much." "I think it's fixed." "Thank you." "Shall we go down?" "What have you given him?" "Okay." "It's okay." "I have something." " Oh!" " Don't drag him!" "Who runs this game?" "I thought you were the boss!" "No fighting, please." "I have something." "Step in here." "I will give you some medicine for him." "I love the slow evenings when summer begins to come." "It doesn't get dark until 8:00." "Absurd." "It isn't possible." "No." "English airman..." "Listen..." "I know you're in trouble." "What?" "You're in trouble..." "Like me." "No." "No, I don't know what you mean." "Come on." "I..." "No." "You're lonely." "Yes, well, I'm lonely, but I'm not in trouble." "Please don't argue." "All that hope coming out of you, all that cheerful resolution." "All that wonderful enlightenment..." "For what?" "For nothing." "You know it's for nothing." "Don't tell me that cheerfulness is real." "Yes, of course." "You and I..." "We understand each other." "What?" "No." "What?" "You fake." "You fake all that cheerfulness." "No!" "I don't." "It's who I am." "Then why did you lead me up here?" "I didn't." "Liar!" "You know." "You know where you're looking." "No, I don't." "You've been here, where I am." "No, I haven't." "I'm sorry." "But I haven't been more ill." "I have to change." "No." "Yes." "Oh, please." "You will!" "Out into the night," "And then good night again." "Oops!" "Oh!" "The drinking of whisky the drinking of gin..." "It's been very pleasant." "Would you mind if I came around again?" "there." "Hold me tight." "Jessica, aren't you coming with me?" "Yes." "On the 16th." "I can't go on the english trip." "Oh, yes, you can." "Right then, everyone." "Good morning." "Window, please." "Gosh." "A dirty blackboard already." "Where's suzie, please?" "Anyone know?" "she's run away to london, miss." "with alfred egerton in science fifth." "Has she been in touch with her parents?" "Yes, miss." "Good." "She said she couldn't see the point of school." "No?" "Well, sometimes, I have that problem." "Anyone else?" "Anyone else want to go?" "Right, then." "For those of us still remaining" "Us maniacs, assorted oddballs, eccentrics," "Folk who still think education is worthwhile" "I suggest we keep trying." "All right, everyone?" "Good." "Then, let's work." "How are you?" "How are you?" "I'm better." "How's marcia?" "Tremendous." "Oh, yes." "The charity bridge tournament takes up all her time." "When you're a boy, you think, "oh, it's so easy."" "Always wipe the slate and move on." "Then, with the years, you find you become a prisoner of dreams." "A girl ran away this morning." "Good luck to her." "Yes." "Good luck." "To all our escapes."