"'Every era has a messiah..'" "'..who rules the hearts of the people.'" "'..who shows them a new way of life.'" "'..who showers them with happiness.'" "'This story is not about such a messiah.'" "Dear, you're a policeman's wife." "is it okay to watch these heist movies all the time?" "Yes. I like them." "Dear, just think about it." "If you watch such movies in this condition.." "..then what effect will it have on our baby?" "He'll be born a thief." "The way Abhimanyu learnt everything about archery.." "..while in his mother's womb." "Be quiet, you drunkard." "My son won't be a thief." "He'll be a very big man." "People will die to have just one look at him." "And the moment they see him, they'll inform the police." "Be quiet." "Let me and my son watch the movie." ""Once upon a time in la la land."" ""Listen." "Listen." "The praise of Tees Maar Khan."" ""TMK."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Once upon a time in la la land."" ""Listen." "Listen." "The praise of Tees Maar Khan."" ""Once upon a time in la la land."" ""Listen." "Listen." "The praise of Tees Maar Khan."" ""Khan of Khans was a con man."" ""Listen." "Listen." "The jest of Tees Maar Khan."" ""Khan of Khans was a con man."" ""Listen." "Listen." "The jest of Tees Maar Khan."" ""Catch me if you can." "Catch me if you can."" ""Chase me and I'll run faster than I can."" ""Catch me if you can." "Catch me if you can."" ""Catch me and I'll slip right through your hands."" ""Catch him if you can." "Catch him if you can."" ""Shoot him or kill him." "Whatever you can."" ""Catch him if you can." "Catch him if you can."" ""Caught him and locked him, but he's slipped again."" ""Once upon a time in la la land."" ""Listen." "Listen." "The praise of Tees Maar Khan."" ""Khan of Khans was a con man."" ""Listen." "Listen." "The jest of Tees Maar Khan."" ""Once upon a time in la la land."" ""Listen." "Listen." "The praise of Tees Maar Khan."" ""Khan of Khans was a con man."" ""Listen." "Listen." "The jest of Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Every time he walked with pride."" ""Every plan got foiled."" ""Every time he walked with pride."" ""Every plan got foiled."" ""Every time he worked his charm."" ""Every one prospered."" ""Every time he worked his charm."" ""Every one prospered."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" "What happened?" "The tank's leaking." "Should I call the plumber?" "What plumber, you idiot?" "I broke water." "Then let's go to the hospital." " Let's go to the doctor." "Congratulations!" "It's a boy." " Thank God." "And my wife?" " Both the baby and the mother are all right." "In a while she will.." "My watch?" "My chain?" ""Tees Maar Khan."" "Well done, officers." "Last night we've cracked the largest antique smuggling racket.." "..in the history of crime." "Our country's thousands of years old.." "..priceless diamonds, pearls, jewellery, paintings, statues." "In all, we stopped 10,000kg of national treasure.." "..from being sold to foreign countries." "In the international market, the approximate value.." "..of these items is Rs.5 billion." "The Interpol suspects that this stuff belongs to.." "..the Johri Brothers." "The antique smugglers." "These Siamese twins aren't among those.." "..who'd let go of their goods so easily." "They will surely try to get them back." "Hence, our job doesn't end here." "Our next mission is to get these goods.." "..to the government treasury in Delhi." "And the name of this mission will be 'Bharat'.. - 'Bhushan.'" "Shut up, Jagtap." "And the name of this mission will be.." "..'Bharat Ka Khazana' (Treasure of India)." "In this mission, we will transport this treasure.." "..in a special high security train to Delhi." "Remember, this train will go directly to Delhi." "There will be no halts in between." "Now, the Johri Brothers have only one way to get the antiques." "To steal it from a moving train." " He's talking nonsense." "As we all know, the Johri Brothers don't execute.." "..their illegal work themselves." "As always, they will take someone else's help." "But who is brave and smart enough.." "..to steal the treasure from right under our noses.." "..and that too, in broad daylight?" "Broad daylight?" "He can do it in the darkness of the night as well." "And why "from under our noses"?" "He can do that behind our backs as well." "Right?" "Jagtap, shut up!" "As per our information, only three people can do this job." "First candidate." "From Hyderabad, Ismail Sheikh alias Ismail 'Koyla' (coal)." "is Ismail darker than coal?" "Or vice versa?" "That's hard to say." "'lsmail possesses two weapons.'" "'One, the darkness of the night.'" "'And second, Ismail's smile.'" "'Koyla." "Koyla.'" "'Koyla." "Koyla.'" "'Koyla." "Koyla.' Ismail Koyla, you're under arrest." "'ln the darkness of the night, like a shadow in the dark..'" "'.." "Ismail just disappears.'" "He escaped again." "That's why we've not been able to catch Ismail." "Right, sir?" "A few years ago, Ismail tried to rob Salarjung Museum." "But this time, unfortunately, I got his case." "Sir, unfortunate for you or him?" "Jagtap, shut up and listen." "'Koyla." "Koyla.' Ismail 'Koyla', you're under arrest." "'But till then, his tricks had become obsolete.' Ismail, why don't you stop these robberies.." "..and lead an honest life?" "I have a mind-blowing job offer for you." "You'll get Rs.100,000 an hour." "'Koyla.'" "The headlights of Rajdhani Express aren't working." "You have to run ahead of it with your teeth exposed." "There he is." "Catch him!" "Catch him!" "l-smile, please." "The second candidate is Master India." "You mean Mr. India?" "I mean Master India." " Oh, sorry." "Mr. India was a decent guy." "Master India is his spoilt kid.." "..who is taking undue advantage of his great father's powers." "'Where Ismail Koyla steals quietly in the darkness of the night..'" "'.." "Master India steals in broad daylight and in public.'" "Hey, thief." "Thief." "Someone stop him." "He stole the necklace and disappeared." "Since that day, I attended every party, function and wedding.." "..in order to catch Master India." "And then one day.." "Sorry." "Sorry." "Sorry." "'On the pretext of shaking hands, I exchanged his bracelet.' lt's okay. lt's okay." "Oh, God." "He's stripping." "'Master India thought he's invisible.'" "'And he started dancing nude in celebration.'" "'He didn't know that everyone can see him.'" "Keep away." "Master India, the commissioner is happy." "And that leaves the third candidate who is still roaming free." "From Mumbai, Tabrez Mirza Khan alias Tees Maar Khan." "His fans also call him half Robin Hood." "Why half Robin Hood, sir?" "Because he steals from the rich.." "..but doesn't give it to the poor." "India's sharpest criminal mastermind." "Tees Maar Khan." "Sir!" "Hello." "Gentlemen, there's good news." "Mr. India part two is about to begin?" "!" " You!" "Sorry." "Sorry, sir." "We've just received information.." "..that Tees Maar Khan was arrested in Paris.." " Yes!" "..while giving autographs to his fans." "Unfortunately, one of those fans was an Interpol agent." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Gentlemen, as we speak, Tees Maar Khan is being brought to India." ""TMK."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" "Finally, here they come." "CBl officer Chatterjee." " Hello." "CBl officer Mukherjee." " He's your man." "We'll take it from here." " Okay." " Yes." "Have it, buddy." "Have it." "Eat as much as you want today." "Tomorrow, you'll have to eat prison food." "Right, brother?" "Saving the honour of a harlot and imprisoning Tees Maar Khan." "Both are futile." "Tomorrow, I'll have lunch at home.." "..with my mother and not in prison." "Man, I don't get it." "Boss got arrested in Paris." "So why did he ask us to be here with the car?" "Can't the Mumbai police send their own vehicle?" "Burger, you idiot." "Boss has planned to trick the police." "That's why we're here with our car." "Boss' plane!" " Where?" "Where?" "Over there." " Not here." "Over there." "Captain." " Thank you." "Hey, look." "Some big hero is getting off over there." "Where?" " Show me." "Bye." " Bye." "Idiots, that is our boss." "Look." "Boss?" "Just a minute." " Boss!" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" "Thank you." " Police, boss." "Love you, police." ""Tees Maar Khan."" " Great!" "Khan of Khans, Tees Maar Khan." "Come on." "Come on." "Bye-bye." "Bye-bye." " See you." " Thank you." "Hey, boys." "Boss!" " Boss." "What is it?" "Burger, Dollar, Soda." "How are you all?" "We're fine." "Boss, car.." "That's not our car. lt's this one." ""Tees Maar Khan."" "Let's cruise, boys." ""Tees Maar Khan."" "This is great, boss." "Boss." "Boss." "Boss, tell us what this is all about." " Tell us, boss." "Yes, boss." "This golden suit, Bappi Lahiri's chains and all." "This rock solid car and all those kisses back there." "Boss, tell us." "How did you trick the police?" "Boss." "Boss.." "Saving the honour of a harlot and imprisoning Tees Maar Khan." "Both are.." " Futile." "Both are.." "Forget that." "Tell us, boss." "A few days ago.." "Hey, eyes on the road." "Keep your voice down, you idiot." "Do you know who I am?" "You're nobody." " But ma'am, dogs are not allowed on the plane." "How dare you?" "How dare you call Penny a dog?" "I will shut your darn airline." " But rules are rules, ma'am." "Sorry, ma'am." "Sorry." "Sorry, ma'am." "Sorry." "She doesn't know who you are." "Please sit down." "Please sit." " But sir.." "Please settle down, everyone." "You come with me." "But sir.." " Are you crazy?" "Pankaj Shukla is her father." "The Aviation Minister." " l'm sorry." "Go say sorry to her." "Go on." " Okay, sir." "Go on." "Later on." " Okay." "I'll do it right here." " Okay." "Okay." "Okay." "I know you're Tees Maar Khan." "But this is a toilet on a plane." "Not a toilet in High Court.." "..from where you can jump out and escape." "Just like the last time." "Okay?" "Right, brother?" "If you're done with your lousy jokes, then can I?" "Come on." "Come on." "Don't push." "Otherwise, I might end up doing it right here." " Okay." "They tied me up." "Can you remove my kerchief?" "He's so thick-skinned." "Started flirting here as well, brother." "Not so low." "Not so low." "Thank you." " You're welcome." "Come on." " Where?" "Out of the plane?" "Yes, out of the plane." "Sit quietly." ""Tees Maar Khan."" "Oh, God!" "What?" "You witch!" "You did this on purpose." "To take revenge on Penny." "This dog came in between." "Shall I clean the dog?" "Shall I?" "I will do it." "You called him a dog again?" "I knew it." "You're jealous of Penny." "Sorry." "Sorry." "Sorry." "We're really sorry, ma'am." "Please let it go." "I won't let you go so easily." "I'll cancel your license." "Stop the plane." "Land right now!" "How can we land now, ma'am?" "Why?" "Aren't there any brakes in the plane?" "Just apply the brakes and land." "Oh, God!" "Captain Bhalla, please talk to her." "Hey you!" "Where are you going?" "To apply the brakes." "Ma'am, try to understand." " How can he talk to me like this?" "Just see." "What has happened to my Penny?" " Captain Andrew!" "Captain Andrew!" "Hello." "What are you doing here?" " l was in the toilet." "Then who is flying the plane?" "I put the plane on auto-pilot." "Big problem." "One." "Two." "Three." "All three captains are outside." "So who's flying the plane?" "This idiot Captain Andrew has put the plane on auto-pilot." "Now all the three captains are outside the cockpit.." "..and the door isn't opening either." "We're dead." "We're finished." "I'm telling you we're finished." "This is just mafia." "I am going to sue you." "I am going to sue you." "Silence." "Silence." "Don't fight." "Let's try to open the door." "Yes." "Yes." "Let's go." " Come on." "Please." "Please." "Please." "Move." "Idiot, aren't you ashamed of yourself?" "Everyone is trying to open the door and you're sitting here?" "Oh, my God!" "Shackles?" "Not shackles, Aunt." "Handcuffs." "Why don't you release him?" "What do you mean release him?" "If we remove his handcuffs, then there'd be a big problem." "Please go mind your own business." "Poor guy." "He's no poor guy." "You don't know him." "There's no lock or safe that he can't break open." "He can open every lock in the world." "Oh, my God!" " Brother, you put us in a fix." "Open it." " What?" "The lock." "The door lock." "Brother, please open it." "Please." "No." "Why is that, son?" "Don't you want to live?" "Upon survival, you guys will go back to your luxurious villas." "To your wives, or girlfriends, or boyfriends.." "..or even your mistresses." "But I'll.." "I'll go to prison for nine years." "Rigorous imprisonment." "What kind of life is that, son?" "So uncle, what do you want?" "Freedom!" "From these two." "Brother." " Brother." "What are you doing!" " Stop." "Please." " Don't.." " Please." "Hey, you don't understand." "We're the cops." "All of you will go to jail." "It's better to go to jail than to go up." "Come on." "Come on." "Didn't I tell you?" "I won't have lunch in prison tomorrow." "But I'll have it with my mother in my own house." "For now, you eat these socks." ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Once upon a time in la la land."" ""Listen." "Listen." "The praise of Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Khan of Khans was a con man."" ""Listen." "Listen." "The jest of Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Thank you." "Thank you." ""Once upon a time in la la land."" ""Listen." "Listen." "The praise of Tees Maar Khan."" ""Khan of Khans was a con man."" ""Listen." "Listen." "The jest of Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" ""Tees Maar Khan."" "Son, here's my car." "Pay me the instalment." "You've done it!" "Great!" "Superb!" "Hats off to you." "The Khan of Khans.." "Tees Maar Khan!" "Take me home quickly." "I have to meet mother and Anya." "Boss, we can't go home." " Why?" "Within an hour, every cop in the city.." "..will be at your house looking for you." "I can't tolerate them both for more than an hour anyway." "But boss, Anya is not home." "Where is she?" "At Mehboob Studios." "Shooting for an item number." "Her craze about acting.." "What's the name of the film?" "'Sheila ki'.." "Sheila's what?" " 'Jawani' (youth)." "What a dirty name?" "Let's go, Mehboob." "Boss, why did you call me Mehboob?" "Take me to Mehboob Studios." "I'll teach Sheila a good lesson." "Come on." ""l know you want it, but you're never going to get it."" ""l won't fall in your hands."" ""Believe it or not, the world is crazy for my love."" ""Hey, you."" ""l know you want it, but you're never going to get it."" ""l won't fall in your hands."" ""Believe it or not, the world is crazy for my love."" ""l feel like I should gently hold myself."" ""l don't need anyone else, I love myself."" ""What's my name?"" ""What's my name?"" ""What's my name?"" ""My name is Sheila."" ""Sheila's killer youth."" ""Am too sexy for you."" ""l won't fall into your hands."" ""No." "No." "No."" ""Sheila."" ""Sheila's killer youth."" ""Am too sexy for you."" ""l won't fall into your hands."" "Boss." "He is molesting with eyes." "I'm going to.." " Boss." ""Silly." "Silly." "Silly, boys."" ""You're so silly."" ""They follow me."" ""When I look at them, their words seem so hollow."" ""But still, every trick is ineffective on me."" ""l craved for so long."" ""lt feels like ages."" ""On this thirsty heart.."" "".." "like the rains, your eyes fell."" ""l know you want it, but you never going to get it."" ""l won't fall into your hands."" ""Sheila."" ""Sheila's killer youth."" ""Am too sexy for you."" ""l won't fall into your hands."" ""No." "No." "No."" ""Sheila."" ""Sheila's killer youth."" ""Am too sexy for you."" ""l won't fall into your hands."" ""Money, car, luxurious villa."" ""l need a man who can give me all that."" ""Empty pockets and broke."" ""No." "No. I don't like it like that.'" ""Come get out of here." "I'll get you everything."" ""l'll bring the whole world at your feet."" ""None will be incomplete."" ""l craved for so long."" ""lt feels like ages."" ""On this thirsty heart.."" "".." "like the rains, your eyes fell."" ""l know you want it, but you're never going to get it."" ""Never going to get my body."" ""l know you want it, but you're never going to get it."" ""l won't fall into your hands."" ""Believe it or not, the world is crazy for my love."" ""l feel like I should gently hold myself."" ""l don't need anyone else, I love myself."" ""What's my name?"" ""What's my name?"" ""What's my name?"" ""My name is Sheila."" ""Sheila's killer youth."" ""Am too sexy for you."" ""l won't fall in your hands."" ""No." "No." "No."" ""Sheila."" ""Sheila's killer youth."" ""Am too sexy for you."" ""l won't fall into your hands."" ""No." "No."" ""Sheila."" ""Sheila's killer youth."" ""Am too sexy for you."" ""l won't fall into your hands."" ""Ain't nobody got a body like.." " Sheila."" ""Ain't nobody got a body like.." " Sheila."" ""Everybody wants my body." " Sheila."" ""Drive you crazy because my name is.." " Sheila."" ""Ain't nobody got a body like.." " Sheila."" ""Everybody wants my body." " Sheila."" ""Drive you crazy because my name is.." " Sheila."" ""Ain't nobody got a body like.." " Sheila."" "You.." "Who is it?" "No." "No." "Leave me." "Please." "Anya?" " l hate you." "Anya?" " l hate you!" "Anya, listen to me." "That producer was going to sign with me today." "He would have signed you, but where was the contract?" "In the hotel room of that drunkard producer?" "For your information, the contract was in his pocket." "The pen was in his hotel room." "Anya, acting is just nonsense." "Acting is like.." "is like chewing gum." "It feels good to chew in the beginning." "Later on, it gets difficult to spit it out." "You've been chewing it for a long time." "That's why you get emotionally attached." "Forget about acting, darling." "At least I'm trying to lead an honest and respectable life." "Being an item girl is a million times better than being a thief." "Zip. I'm not a thief." "I'm a con-artist." "A crime artist." "Secondly, mother will hear." "Lower your voice." "Let her hear!" "Let mother also know that her son, who is the apple of her eye.." "..who she thinks is a big film director.." "..is none other than the wanted criminal Tees Maar Khan." "No!" "Wanted criminal Tees Maar Khan?" "Where?" "Where is he?" "Did you see that?" "Tees Maar Khan is not a criminal, Mother." "It's the name of my next film." "Oh, God!" " Silly." "What do you think?" "Very good." "Better than your last film." "Which film?" "Well, 'Om Shanti Om'." "Sharp memory." "You've been feasting on almonds." "Well, that's enough." "Sit down." "Sit here." "Anya, come here, dear." "Come." "Come." "You've come after a long time." "So I've prepared 'shikh kebab' (Indian dish) for both of you." "Both of you have it, okay?" " Okay." "Till then I'll prepare 'biryani'." " Okay, Mother." "Why do you shout so much?" "You and your tonsils." "What if mother would have found out?" "So what if she had found out?" "It would've broken mother's heart." "And your bones as well." "It's so shameful that your mother doesn't know.." "..that you aren't a film director.." "..but the wanted criminal Tees Maar Khan." "That's nothing new, you idiot." "Even Spiderman's mother doesn't know that he's Spiderman." "So what?" "At least I can say that I'm the beauty queen Anya Khan." "Do you have the guts to tell the world who you really are?" "That you're Tees Maar Khan?" "Chicken." "Me?" " Yes, you are." "I'll show you whether I'm a chicken or a brave man." "Wait." "Yes!" "I am Tees Maar Khan!" "I am Tees Maar Khan!" "Boss, the police!" "I'm not Tees Maar Khan." "I swear by Allah, I'm not." "I'm not. I swear." "The police are outside." "Handle them." " Police?" "And mother too." "But Tabrez, how can I?" "You desire to be an actress, don't you?" " Yes." "Go do your acting." "Go on." "Who is it?" "Has anyone died?" "Who is ringing the bell repeatedly?" "Mummy, two actors were supposed to come for the screen test." "Actors?" "For 'Tees Maar Khan'." "They were called for the role of cops." "Oh, yes." "But where is Tabrez?" "Where is he?" "He's hiding." "He's hiding?" "But why?" "They have to act as if they're searching for him." "That's the test." "So let's do one thing." "I'll take their test." "After all, I'm the director's mother." "Do one thing." "Go sit over there." "Okay." "Police." " ls Tees Maar Khan here?" "You idiots!" "Are you cops or people who ask for donations?" "You'll ask me where Tees Maar Khan is and I'll tell you?" "Come on." "Ask me again." "Again." "And this time ask me a bit strictly." "Okay?" " Yes." "Yes." "Come on." "Police!" " ls Tees Maar Khan here?" "That's more like it." "Now you push me and enter." "Come on, push me." "Get in the house." "I pushed you." "You too." "Push me." "Come on." "Where do these people come from?" "Brother, he said he must be here somewhere." "Mummy!" " What happened?" "I'll search for proof here." "You look there." "Oh, Allah!" "You idiot, you did get into the character.." "..but who will clean up the mess you've created?" "Your father?" "Come on." "Put it inside." "Put everything back." "No." "No." "Why will he do that?" "Tell me." "Not just him." "You too will put everything back." "Okay?" "I'll also do it." "Will you put it back or should I slap you?" "Run." "Run." " The old lady has gone mad." "Run." "Move!" " Get in." "Boss." "The Khan of Khans.." " Tees Maar Khan." "Boss.." " You scoundrel." "That reminds me." "There was a call for you from the Johri Brothers." "Johri Brothers?" "The international antique smugglers?" "What do they have to do with boss?" "In just a couple of minutes, you guys and I will know everything." "Phone." " Sir." " Good." "Mother has the same handset model." "Mother's photograph?" "Rascal, you stole my mother's phone." " Sorry." "I like robbers. I like robbers." "I like robbers." "Hello." "The pigeon is out of the cage." "It's ready to pick up the food." "From when and where the food needs to be picked up.." "..you'll tell me that." "Putting it on speakerphone." "Tomorrow night." "'Dandiya' (Indian dance form)." "Okay." "'Dandiya!" "'" ""This is the night to celebrate."" ""And I have your company."" ""Today I have your hand in my hand."" ""This is the night to celebrate."" ""And I have your company."" ""Today I have your hand in my hand."" "There are the Siamese twins." "Boss, your stick." "Thank you." "'Dandiya!" "'" " Rascal!" "Come, Tees Maar Khan." "You probably know why we've called you here." "You've called me to play 'Dandiya'.." "..on the occasion of 'Dusshera' (Indian festival)." "Bad joke." "Should we laugh?" "If you guys want to get your Rs.5 billion antiques.." "..from the police, then you'll have to laugh at my lousy joke." "Then you might also know that only one man can do this job." "I know." "And that is the Khan of Khans.." " Tees Maar Khan!" "That means you'll do this job." "Are you asking me or telling me?" "We're asking you." "All right." "Then I'll do it." "Now the deal. 50 percent of the value of the goods is for me." "That was not a joke, you rascals." "Blackmail?" "Those goods belong to us." "You just have to get it out." "Goods weighing 10,000kg." "I have to get it out of a moving train." "Moreover, it's in the possession of the police." "Do you think it's child's play?" "But if I don't do your job, then you'll lose your treasure." "Ladies and gentlemen." "There." "There." "What happened?" "Please welcome our chief guest for today.." "..superstar Aatish Kapoor." " Here!" "Aatish!" "Aatish!" "Aatish!" "Aatish!" "Aatish!" "Aatish!" "Aatish Kapoor, I love you." "What are you doing here?" "I've come to see Aatish Kapoor." "I'm a big fan of his." "You go home." " Aatish, I love you!" "Otherwise I'll kill you." "Come on." "Over there." "You're so mean." " Yes, I'm mean." "Now superstar Aatish Kapoor will give away the trophy.." "..to Dollar Club best 'Dandiya' couple." "Give him a big hand." "I won't take less than 50 percent." "I said 50." "Only 50." "And Dollar Club best 'Dandiya' couple trophy goes to.." "..my friend over there." "I said 50 percent." "Nothing less." "Boss!" "Boss!" "Party!" "Party!" "Brother, Johri Brothers." " Tees Maar Khan." "Catch them!" " Boss, police!" "Catch them!" "Catch them!" "There's still time." "Tell me quickly. 50 percent." "The cops are coming." "Done!" " Done!" "Open the ATM." "Deduct it from my share." "Take it!" "Take it!" "Got away, boss." " Yes!" "Stop." "Let's go." "Sir, sir, you do the honors." " Sir." "Come here." "Come here." "I don't know how I'm going to do this job." "This is the toughest assignment yet." "What's so difficult, boss?" "Add these spices to the chicken." "..then add the chicken to the curd.." "Don't you know that boss' mind works overtime.." "..while preparing food?" "Sorry, boss." "Getting 10,000kg of antiques from a moving train.." "..and that train might have around 20 to 30 cops." "Boss, we might trick the cops." "But how are we going to carry stuff weighing 10,000kg?" "It will take at least a month." "Moreover, we'll have to go to the hospital a couple of times.." "..to get our broken backs treated." "Boss, we'll need more men." "We'll need 200 to 300 men." "But where do we bring so many men from, boss?" "We might gather all those men." "But boss, to tell 300 people about our plan" "..is fraught with danger." " Correct." "Even if one of those guys turns out to be a police informer.." "..then we're finished." "Boss!" " What happened?" "I think this job is.. impossible." "There's no such word as 'impossible' in my dictionary." "Don't you know that?" "Get lost!" "Get out of here." "Boss, it's in my dictionary." "Want it?" "Yes, get it." "Get your dictionary." "Boss!" " What happened?" "Boss, come out." "Why are you shouting?" "Why are you shouting?" "You're shouting, boss." "Look, that same hero." "'ls there any award you haven't won in India?" "'" "'Which award are you eyeing this time?" "'" "'Oscar!" " Oscar?" "'" "'Yes.'" "'Dumbdog Millionaire was offered to me first.'" "'But due to my secretary Bunty's foolishness..'" "'..that role slipped out of my hands.'" "'Sir, it hurts.'" "'But let me assure you that Aatish Kapoor..'" "'..will win the Oscar next year and bring it back to India.' 'l want to do an Oscar winning film.' 'l want an Oscar.'" "Oscar, that's enough." "'l want an Oscar!" "I want an Oscar!" " Sir, last question.' 'l want an Oscar!" "'" "Boss, that security guy pushed me last night." "Even after getting beaten up, people are crazy about him." "People worship him." "And the cops provide him security needlessly." "And boss.." " Hold it." "Hold it." "Say that again." "Boss, that security guy.." " Not you." "You." "People worship him." " Cops provide security." "People worship him." "Cops provide security." "People worship him and cops provide security." "I got it!" "Got it?" "What?" "A plan to get your goods out." "Very good!" "That's what we expected from you." "What's the plan?" "What do you care?" "Your job will be done." "Job will be done." "But whose job?" "Ours or yours?" "Do you doubt my honesty?" "Don't you trust me?" "You tell us." "Can we really trust you?" "To expect sunlight from the moon.." "..and honesty from Tees Maar Khan." "Both are futile." "We know that you're dishonest, but you're not a cheat." "Come on, tell us the plan." "Listen carefully." "I'll shoot for a film in a village that is close to.." "..the railway tracks on which the train to Delhi will be running." "That too, with India's famous superstar Aatish Kapoor." "Good joke." "That's not a joke. lt's my plan." "Let's drink." "In a burqa?" " Let's have tea in a burqa." "The train that is carrying your goods.." "..will be a part of this story." "Aatish Kapoor and 300 innocent villagers." "They will play the part of revolutionaries." "Mistaking our train to be a British train.." "..they will stop that train no matter what it takes." "Then the villagers will get on that train and capture the cops.." "..they will thrash them pretty badly.." "..and then they will unload the goods.." "..and load it in your vehicles." "Just because there's a famous star Aatish Kapoor in the film.." "..nobody will even think that something illegal is going on." "In fact, all this will be done.." "..under the watchful eye of the police." "That is, full police protection." "Great!" "Great, you're.." "Say it, guys." "The Khan of Khans, Tees Maar Khan." "Who is the director?" " Who?" " Who?" "I'm the director." "That's great." "So we're the producers." "We'll keep an eye on the director." "But I.." " Khan, no need to thank us." "See you on the sets." "Boss, control." "They're the ones who'll be paying us." "Lousy baldies." "Boss, the plan is on paper." "What next?" "Now let's celebrate Eid." "But boss, Eid was three months ago." "For Tees Maar Khan, the sighting of the moon.." "..on any night is like Eid." "So boss, call up Brother Salman." "You rascal." "Call him." "Hurry up." " Hurry up." "Hurry up!" "Hello, Sallu." "Yes, this is Tees Maar Khan speaking." "What's up?" "The guys have offered prayers." "Let's celebrate Eid." "In front of Anya's house." "Yes." "You know her?" "He knows Anya." "Okay." "Okay." " Wonderful!" "Wonderful!" "Let's go." ""Behind the cold curtain.."" ""..the flame blazes safely."" ""Only when the admirer burns.."" ""Burns down to ashes.."" ""..is he called a lover."" ""By God."" ""By God."" ""Beheld a timeless beauty."" ""By God."" ""By God."" ""My beloved became rarest of rare."" ""By God."" ""By God."" ""l'll gift away the moon on Eid."" ""ln the name of love, I accept disgrace."" ""When there was nothing left to sell.."" "".." "I let go of my life just like that."" ""Let go of my life." "Let go of my life."" ""By God."" ""By God."" ""Towards my beloved, this admirer has a duty."" ""l offer my greetings."" ""l offer my greetings."" ""l offer my greetings."" ""l offer my greetings."" ""By God."" ""By God."" ""Beheld a timeless beauty."" ""By God."" ""By God."" "Boss, cine-star Salman of 'Dabang' fame." ""Without my beloved, I lost my entire glow."" ""Upset with myself and distanced from God."" ""When her name was mentioned in the gathering."" ""Along with my beloved, even I became famous."" ""My beloved is in a happy mood."" ""My heart is cheerful, the moment is rosy."" ""My beloved is in a happy mood."" ""My heart is cheerful, the moment is rosy."" ""We put an end to the night and met."" ""By God."" ""By God."" ""Went crazy about my beloved."" ""By God."" ""By God."" ""My beloved became rarest of rare."" ""By God."" ""By God."" ""Towards my beloved, this admirer has a duty."" ""l offer my greetings."" ""l offer my greetings."" ""l offer my greetings."" ""l offer my greetings."" "She's mine." ""My killer charms yearn."" ""l sway ever since.."" "".." "I've fallen in love."" ""infidel bows down at the doorstep.."" ""And pleads to me.."" ""You are my devotion."" ""Every lover has a request for beauty."" ""Proudly sacrifice your life."" ""Eyes are like dagger."" ""Took away your life."" ""Pierced the heart through and through."" ""Eyes are like a dagger."" ""Took away my life."" ""Pierced my heart through and through."" ""l'm your lover, your admirer."" ""l'm an expression of love."" ""The one who finishes the rival."" ""l'm that scintillating sword."" ""l'm that scintillating sword."" ""l'm that scintillating sword."" ""By God."" ""By God."" ""Beheld a timeless beauty."" ""By God."" ""By God."" ""My beloved became rarest of rare."" ""By God."" ""By God."" ""Towards my beloved, this admirer has a duty."" ""l offer my greetings."" ""l offer my greetings."" ""l offer my greetings."" ""l offer my greetings."" ""l offer my greetings."" ""By God."" ""By God."" ""By God."" ""By God."" ""By God."" ""By God."" "What are you doing?" "Sit down." "Come on." "Hurry up!" "Call the dancers." "Come on." "Boss." "Boss, why are we dressed like this?" "We have to steal the stuff we need.." "..to carry out our plan from this very set." "Boss, Chunky Pandey!" "Chunky Pandey." "Boss, I'm a big fan of his." "Sorry, everyone makes mistakes." "Yes, sir." "These are your steps." "And dancers, you have to throw the colours up in the air." "Okay?" " Yes, sir." "Don't throw it on me." "You'll spoil my hair." "Let's go." " We've been called there." "Now we're not dancers, we're thieves." "Roll sound!" "Camera!" " Action!" "'Choli Mein Holi'." "Take one." "One, two, three, four!" ""Choli mein holi." "Holi mein choli."" ""When the drape got drenched."" ""lt's Holi today."" "It's Holi!" "It's Holi!" "Throw some water. lt's Holi!" "Holi!" " Holi!" "It's Holi!" "Holi!" " Holi!" "It's Holi!" "Stop it." "Why are you touching me?" "Stop the shooting." "Stop him." "My hair will get spoiled." "My clothes." "Where's the shooting stuff?" "My camera?" " My lights?" "My whistle?" "My boxers?" "Sir, the camera van also got stolen." "Darn it!" "is this the road that goes to Narayanpur?" "Yes, boss." "This is the village that passes through the railway track." "Soda told me." "Yes." "Dollar told me this is the road." "Right, Dollar?" "What do I know?" "I don't even know that there's a village called Narayanpur." "I'll slap all of you." "I wonder what kind of idiots I've got as henchmen." "No, boss." "He told me." " Soda told me." " No." "No." "Why are you putting me in trouble?" "You told me." "Who did you knock down?" " l don't know, boss." "Who did you knock down?" " Where did he go?" "Whom did you kill?" "Help!" "Help!" "But I can hear a cry." "Where from?" "Up here!" "Up here!" "Brother, save me." "Save me, brother." "Boss, villagers." "Looks like we've had it today, boss." "Don't worry." "I'll pass on the blame.." "to you guys." " Boss.." "You're too much." "Let's go ahead." " No." "Eeshwar, are you all right?" " l'm fine, Nana. I'm still alive." "We apologise to you on his behalf." "He messes up all the time." "But never intentionally." "Eeshwar is immature." "He's imbalanced?" " Yes, mentally." " Yes." "By the way, the name of this small village is Dhuliya." "And I'm the village chief." "Who are you?" "Well, I'm their chief." " Yes." "My name is Nana." " Patekar?" "Ganphule." " l see." "Well, where are you headed?" "We're going to Naraya.." "Here." "Here." "Right here." " Really?" "Dhuliya!" "Heard a lot about this village in Mumbai." "Its beauty, the men here, the health of the people.." "..and the railway tracks." "There could never be a better place than this.." "..to carry out our plan." "Got it?" "We should start our work immediately." "Attack." " Come on." " Yes, boss." "Did you see that, Nana?" "People in big cities like Mumbai are talking about our village." "Didn't I tell you our village will be very famous one day?" "Subhedar." " Yes?" "Nana is over here, not there." "Dhuliya, here I come!" "Lights!" "Camera!" "Action!" "What a nice place." "We'll take the first shot here." "Boss, camera." "That's more like it." "This isn't a small film. lt's a big film." "Go bring a bigger camera." "Boss, where do I keep this?" " ln the fields." "Bring it quickly." " Boss, the lights are 500 volts." "Do one thing." "Tell the sun to come on this side." "Sun, shift!" "Shift!" "Bring me a camera!" "Boss!" "Boss, big camera." "Very good." "Do one thing." "Tell some women to lie in the fields." "Quickly." "Women, lie down!" "Women!" "Women, lie down." "Sir, the sun doesn't budge." "If the sun doesn't budge, then do one thing." "Bribe it and tell it to come on this side." "Okay." "Sun, here's some money." "Boss, four women beat me up." "So you lie down in the fields." "Ready." "Somebody tell me what's going on." "Son, what are you doing?" "Shooting." "Shooting." "Shooting the animals?" "Chinkara (Indian Gazelle)?" "Black Buck?" "I'm shooting for a film here." "I'm making a film." "Cinema, okay?" "Cinema." "Film shooting?" " Cinema?" "Come on." "Come on." "Shooting?" "Film shooting?" "Gullu!" "Sattu!" "Aunty!" "There's a film shooting going on in our village." "Come on, everybody." "Grandpa, where are you going?" "To watch the film shooting." "I'm also coming." "There's a film shooting going on." "Come on." "Film shooting!" "Shooting!" "Shooting!" "Yes!" "Listen." " Stop." "Where are you going?" "Wait. I'm also coming to watch the film shoot." "Move side." "Move side." "Alright." "Alright." "You too can watch it.." "Move aside." "Have you gone mad?" "Hand is up!" "Inspector Dhurinder." "I'm in charge of the police station here." "Can I see your.." "What do you call it?" "Permit." "Can I see your permit to shoot here?" "Amazing." "Heard his voice?" " Yes." "Did you hear the inspector's voice?" "Boss, I say let's give him that main role." "Boss, let's give him the role of the milkman." "He looks like one." "No." "No." "Not the milkman's." "Let's change the role of the milkman to that of an inspector." "Yes." "Yes." "is that.. is that possible?" " Of course. lt's possible." "But why would you change the story of your film for me?" "What's the need?" "Who am I?" " The director." "So I can surely do that." "But will I be able to do it, sir?" "Look, Dharmesh." " Dharmesh?" "In this show business, either you have it in you, or you don't." "And Dharmesh.." "can I call you Dharmesh?" "But Dhurinder is.." " All right, Dharmendra." "You have it in you." "What?" "What?" "Oomph factor." "It's a children's film." "X-Factor." " X-Factor." "You have that X-Factor." "And I want it. I want it." "X-Factor?" " No. I want the shooting permit." "Don't worry." "Just prepare for the film shoot." "I'll find a workaround for the permit." "Heard that voice?" "Heard his voice?" "He has been blessed with a wonderful voice." "Go away." "Sir, you're too much." "I stole the rascal's gun." "Give me a role." " Give me a role as well." "Yes." "Yes." "Okay." "Okay." "Alright." "Alright." "Okay." "Listen." "Listen." "Listen carefully." "Listen to me very carefully." "All of you will get a role in my next film." " Great." "Great." " Clap." "The film will be shot after a week." "Till then all of you make preparations." "What preparations, sir?" "Yes, what preparations?" "Good question." "All of you will have to get six packs like these two." " Six packs?" "Okay." "We're leaving now." "See you next week." "Okay." "Bye." "Move." "Move." " l got it." "Someone get me down at least now." "Director!" "'And the Oscar goes to Anil Kapoor for Dumbdog Millionaire.'" "Don't worry." "My hero is like your son." "Just send the cheque." "When are you visiting Mother Goddess?" "Darn it." " Yes." "You rascal.." "This is all because of you." "Instead of him, I'd have been in Hollywood today." "Only if you had told me about Danny Toyle's call." "How could I know that Toyle was Hollywood's Danny?" "He said his name was Danny." "I thought he's Danny Denzongpa." "I drove him away." "Bunty!" "The phone is ringing." "Sir." " Yes, security." "Who is it?" " Someone called Manoj is here." "Aatish, have you called anyone called Manoj?" "Ask him his full name." "What's his full name?" "Manoj Ramalan from Hollywood." " l see." "Manoj Ramalan from Hollywood." "Manoj Ramalan?" "Director of 'Sixth Sense' has come to meet me?" "Call him inside, you idiot." "Send him in." " Yes, sir." "I'm sure he's brought a Hollywood offer." "Yes!" "Yes!" "Aatish, looks like your dream of.." "..going to Hollywood will be fulfilled." "God is great." "Thank God I was here." "Otherwise, you'd have mistaken him for Manoj Bajpai.." "..and driven him away." "I'm not such a fool, sir." "Bring him in. I'll get ready." " Yes, absolutely." "Who the hell are you?" "Who are you?" "I'm Bunty Baweja." "There must be some reason." " What?" "You just said Bunty 'Be-waja' (without reason)." "Bunty Baweja." "I'm Mr. Aatish's secretary." "A servant." "You stink." "Get out." "Where are you going?" "Just tell me who you are." "I'm Manoj Ramalan, international film director from Hollywood." "Touchwood." "No." "No." "You can't be Manoj Ramalan." "I've seen his photographs." "He's quiet.." " Dark." "He's dark. I know that." " Yes." "Yes." "Listen, servant." "The person whose pictures you've seen.." "..is actually my younger brother Manoj Night Ramalan." "And I'm Manoj Day Ramalan." "My brother was born during the night." "That's why he's dark." "And I was born during the day." "That's why I'm.." "That's why I'm.." " Fair." "Okay." "Aatish!" "Where is Aatish?" "Aatish!" "Search!" "Search!" "Aatish!" "Aatish!" "Aatish!" "Aatish!" "Come on, fast." "Dear Aatish." " Aatish." "Dear Aatish." " Aatish." "There he is." "My superstar." "My Oscar!" "Oscar?" "Yes." "Oscar." "I've made many films in Hollywood.." "..but I'm going to make a film about India for the first time." "India's poverty and India's poor superstar." "Sir.." "Perfect recipe for Oscar." "Sir." "Yes?" " May I speak to Manoj Ramalan?" "Hold on." "Boss, Amir (rich)." "I got a poor guy." "I don't want a rich one." "Sir, Aamir Khan." "That one?" "Oh, these strugglers." "Tell him.." "Okay, I'll tell him." "Aamir, I'm making this film especially for the Oscars." "Okay?" "I need actors who look poor." "Okay?" "I don't want you." "Bye." "Look, what a poor guy." "What a poor guy." "I've decided to make this film with Aatish Kapoor in the lead." "Got it?" "Thank you, sir." "Thank you." "Film?" "Film?" "Darn it!" "What film?" "I just don't get it." "Why is your servant shouting at me?" "I'd rather take Aamir than tolerate this man." "Call up Aamir." " He's online." "No." "No." "Sir, not Aamir." "Please." "Please." "Then say something to him." "Bunty, shout again at the director and I'll pull your pants down." "Please, sir." "Not my pants." "I just.." "I just wanted to ask what the story of the film is." "What crime have I committed by asking that?" "Okay." "Fine." "Keep Aamir on hold." "Hold please." "But if Mr. Bunty doesn't like the Oscar winning story.." "..then I'll give away Aatish's Oscar to Aamir." "No." "No. I don't want to hear the story." "I just need the Oscar." "I will narrate the story to you, Mr. Aatish. I insist, darling." "The story revolves around a great person.." "..whose name is Tees Maar Khan." "But the story.." "What is the story?" "Tees Maar Khan is a revolutionary.." "..who is involved in the greatest revolt against the British rule." "He robs diamonds, pearls and jewellery worth billions." "An astonishing plan." "Nail-biting suspense." "What?" " What is that plan?" ""Tees Maar Khan."" "That's the suspense." "I like the story." "I'm doing the film." "That's what I expected from you." "Tell Aamir he's out." "Sorry, Aamir." "You're out." " Oh, no." "But what about his fees?" "Money?" "Aatish, put your hand on your heart.." "..and tell me whether you want money or the Oscar." "Oscar." "Day ho!" "Manoj Day." " Day ho!" " Day ho!" " Day ho!" "Sir, when are you starting the shoot?" "The film shoot begins next week in the village of Dhuliya." "Yes." " Where is Dhuliya?" "Dhuliya?" "Where is Dhuliya?" "That's the mystery." "You'll get the address." "Day ho!" " Yes, sir." "Day ho!" "Boss, we've got him as well." "This mission will be a lot of fun, boss." "Boss, when will this mission begin?" "We start this mission.." "..soon after intermission." "Boss, the Khan of Khans.." " Tees Maar Khan." "Listen, the train will pass through here tomorrow morning at nine." "But are you sure he'll get here today?" "Tell us." "Why are you silent?" "Answer us." "Speak." "A student copying from a textbook.." "..and a plan hatched by Tees Maar Khan's brain can never fail." "Excuse me." "Can you all please move?" "Tabrez." "Tabrez." "Yes." "Yes." "Don't shout." "Why have you called me here?" "There's no beauty parlour around here." "It's a surprise, darling." "Surprise." "Surprise." "Surprise?" " Yes." "And girls, please take care of her." "Look after her, all right?" "And yours?" "She'll look after me." "Move." "My favourite colour." "Can I call you Pinky?" " What's your name?" "Hands up!" "Mr. Director, what do you think about my dialogue?" "Very, very good." "Say this dialogue in the entire movie." ""Hands up." "Hands up." Go on." " Hand up!" "Get scared." "They got scared." " They got scared." "Go on." "Go on, December." "Now scare the villagers." "Yes, whatever." " Hands up." "Aatish Kapoor is coming!" "Look, there's the helicopter." "Boss, he's coming." "Where?" "Where?" " l'll get the band started." "Not there, over here." "Play the music!" "Aatish Kapoor is here." "Aatish Kapoor?" "Yes, I'm making a film with Aatish Kapoor in the lead." "What?" " And you're his heroine." "I love you!" "Not in public." "Not in public." "Aatish!" ""Here he comes."" ""Here he comes."" ""Here he comes."" ""Here he comes."" ""Here he comes."" ""Here he comes."" "Hello." "Day ho!" " Day ho!" "Aatish Kapoor!" "Come on, villagers." "Meet Aatish Kapoor." "Shower your love on him." "Aatish Kapoor!" " Oh, God." "Aatish Kapoor." "Tomorrow at eight.." "Listen to me." "Listen." "Listen." "Listen!" "Tomorrow at eight in the morning.." "..please get to the railway tracks." "We'll have your film shoot." "Tell these people." "Tell them." "Tell them." "Move!" "There's a film shoot here." "Pick up the camera." "Okay." "Okay." "Okay." "Just dust in the eyes." "Don't overreact." "Move!" "There's a film shoot here." "Move." "Move." "The heroine is coming." "Can't you see?" "Move." "The heroine is coming." "Move." "I got it. I got it." "Mr. Aatish, I've asked the whole of Hollywood." "Nobody has even heard of Manoj Day Ramalan." "Sir, I feel he's a big fraud." "Enough." "Enough." "Enough!" "You thought Danny Toyle was Danny Denzongpa.." "..and you drove him away, you duffer." "Sorry, sir." "These Oscar types are like that." "Look at him, man." "Look at him." "And the villagers will lie on the track.." "He's a genius." "From here.." " Hands up!" "Have you lost it?" "Just look at my X-Factor." "Stick an X on your mouth." "That would make it triple X." "Very good idea, sir." " Yes." "Go on." "Go." "Heroines look better when fully clothed." "Take this." "Tabrez." " What?" "When will you introduce me to Mr. Aatish?" "Rascal." "After the film shoot gets over." "He's so mean." "Charlie, come in!" "Charlie!" "Charlie!" "Do you read me?" "Charlie!" "Charlie!" "Charlie isn't here." "Will Johri Brothers do?" "Hello, boss." "It's me, Romeo speaking." "Yes, Romeo." "Tell us what's the news?" "Boss, very bad news." "The train isn't coming with the antiques today." "Train isn't coming today?" "Why?" "The police commissioner has delayed the train for security reasons." "So when will it come?" "A week later." "What?" "Okay, boss." "Over and out." "What?" "How many overs?" "And who got out?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Which two teams were playing the match today?" "There's bad news." "What could be worse than you?" "Tell me." "The train isn't coming today." "What?" "Then?" "The train will come with the antiques next week." "So what are we supposed to do for a week?" "Lay eggs?" "No." "Aren't you the director?" "Shoot the film." "Shoot the film?" "With these idiots." " Bye-bye." "I'll go crazy." ""Tees Maar Khan."" "Day ho!" ""Tees Maar Khan."" "Boss, we are with you." " Yes, boss." "Really, boys?" " Yes." "I'll pack our stuff." " l'll take out the vehicle." "I'll pack the food for our journey." "I'll slap all three of you." "Boss." "Until we steal the antiques, we won't leave this village." "What do we do till then?" "Aren't I the director?" " Yes." "Let's play shooting-shooting." "Boss." "It's a romantic scene, you rascals." "Sorry, boss." " Come on." "I welcome all 200 co-artists of Dhuliya.." "..on the first day of the film shoot.." "..of Manoj Day Ramalan's film 'Bharat Ka Khazana'." "Now we'll begin our film shoot." "For a few days, I'd like you to watch how acting is done." "For that, I present before you India's scary artist.." "..superstar Aatish Kapoor." "Okay." "Okay." "That's enough." "And India's super heroine Anya." "Who is she?" "Who is she?" " l don't know." "Let me start the camera first, my dear." "Now we'll start the film shoot." "He's so mean." "Silence." "Silence." " Thank you." "Thank you." "Camera, ready?" " Ready, sir." "Lights, ready?" " Ready, sir." "Sound, ready?" " Sound ready." "Sound." "No." "That's okay." "Yes, all right." "Give the clap please." "Want to act?" "Now act." "Action!" "No!" "No!" "Yo, Day!" "What do I have to do?" "Cut!" "Stop the camera!" "Idiot!" "Camera cut." "Lights cut." "Cut." "Cut." "Cut." "Stop it." "Take the camera away." "Don't want to shoot. is this the way?" "Nonsense." "Everything is futile." "Everything.." "Cool." "Cool." "Cool." "Cool." "Aatish." "Good question, Aatish." "You asked a wonderful question." "You'll surely bag the Oscar next year." "Day Ho!" " Day Ho!" "Day Ho!" "Day Ho!" "But what do I have to do?" "Good question again." "Silence." "Silence." "The director is thinking." "He's thinking." "He's thinking." ""Tees Maar Khan."" "Got it!" "Got it!" "Got it!" "Got it!" "He got it!" "Come on, move." "Everyone will get it." "Then I'll bring the camera down and take it back up again." "And then turn around." "This is too much, man." "Will he change locations all the time.." "..or will he also start the shoot, sir?" "And then I'll take a shot from here." "Director." " Yes?" "Here are the keys to the bank." "Might come in handy for your film shoot." "Yes, all right." "Thank you." " Thank you." "Come." "Come." "Come." ""Tees Maar Khan."" "Sir." " Yes?" "What's the scene?" "At least tell us." "We'll just do the bank robbery today." "Bank robbery?" "Sir, is this a film about bandits or revolutionaries?" "But aren't I a revolutionary in the film?" "Good question." "Very good question." "You're the revolutionary and this is a British bank." "Bank?" "I don't get it." "Look, you're a revolutionary.." "..you get in the bank, you rob money from the British.." "..and distribute it to the poor Indians." "Poor Indian." "Oscar!" "Oscar!" "Oscar!" "Day ho!" "I got it!" "Day ho!" "Day ho!" "Day ho!" "What am I doing in this scene?" "Yes, you're a British lady." "British lady?" " Yes." "So why would she rob the bank?" "Why would she rob the bank?" "Why would she rob the bank?" "Because her father is Indian." "He's an Indian." "Aatish and she will together loot the British government." "Wow!" "I'll go enhance my make-up." "Yes." "Yes." "Go on." "Go smear some more." "Quickly." "British government!" "British government!" "Can't see a single foreigner over here, sir." "Your secretary too asks good questions." "Director, me!" "Got it!" "Got him!" "There he is." "My British sweeper." "My actor." "Bring him." "Come here." "Come here." "Your life is set." "Come on." "Here's our foreigner." "Day, this is a villager." "How will he speak English?" "Good question." "Very good question." "Put a chewing gum in his mouth." "Yes, boss." "Chew it." "I can talk English." "Do you want to listen to my English?" "Yes." "Yes." "English." "English." "English." "Get him ready now for the shoot." " Okay, boss." "Take him back and action!" "But Day, what do I have to do in this scene?" "Aatish." "Aatish." "Aatish." "Don't ask what you have to do." "Ask what you've done for your country." "What?" " Yes." "Close your eyes." " Why?" "Aatish, I'm telling you." "For my sake." "Close your eyes." "Good boy." "Now imagine that the British are ruling India for many years." "They're oppressing simple and innocent Indians." "No." "They've riddled India, our motherland, with bullets." "Mother." " Mother." "Yes." " No!" "They've even killed our women and children." "No!" "No!" "Take the shot." "Boss, take the shot." " Yes." "Action!" "Aatish." "You British!" "Rascal!" "You British!" "Rascal!" "Where is the hard-earned money of the poor Indians?" "Tell me!" "Tell me!" "Perhaps, he doesn't understand Hindi." "Let me try." "You dirty dog!" "Tell me." "Where is the hard-earned money of the poor Indians?" "Tell me." "Tell me." "Speak!" "Control." "Control." "Get up." "Chew." "Chew." "What will you poor Indians do with the money?" "Followers of non-violence." "You can't even buy guns." "You roam naked wearing handmade cloth." "Hit the British officer." "How was that?" "My naked hand on your naked cheek?" "Very nice. I'll go get the money now." "Wide shot." "Wide shot." "Wide shot." "Keep going." "Keep going." "Start the camera." "Forgive me." " Get out!" "Will you fire a cannon at me?" "Fire it at my chest if you have the guts." "Boss, he's become insane." "Stop him." "Fire it if you have the guts." "Boss, cut." "Cut it." "Cut." "Cut." "Fire!" "Fire!" "Dyer, fire it if you have any self-respect." "Cut!" "Boss!" "Cut!" "Fire!" "Fire!" "No." " Cut!" "Fire!" "Water." "Cut!" "Sorry, Day." "I just got into the character." "I thought you'd get into the camera." "But what a performance." "What a performance." "Oscar award-winning performance." "And my performance?" "You'll get a Rotary Club award." "Well, I'll go write my speech." "Go." "Go on quickly." "Sir, I'll go change." "Yes, go change." "Go dry yourself." "Listen to me." "Love you, sir. I love you." "He's crazy." "Excuse me, boss." "Need to tell you something important." " Tell me." "The film is over." "I'll slap you, okay?" "The film won't get over until we loot the goods." "No." "No." "Not that stuff." "The film that goes in the camera." "The negatives?" " Yes, we've run out of those." "The stock that we stole from Mumbai.." "I mean, boss, the stock we brought.." "We've run out of that." "Boss, I have an idea." "Let's shoot without the stock." "What would they know?" "That's better." "No." "Aatish and Bunty have been in the film industry for ten years." "We might handle Aatish." "But Bunty will understand immediately." "Boss, what do we do then?" "We'll have to bring the stuff from the city." "We've also run out of money." "We have to shoot for another five to six days." "So we'll need at least Rs.500,000 to Rs.600,000." "What's that?" "Boss, the keys to the bank." "The bank manager Santram himself gave it to us." "What do you think, boss?" "Wonderful suggestion." "Well done." "Boss, what if something goes wrong?" "If you're not good looking, you should say good things." "It's Friday today." "The bank will be closed for the next two days." "It's a bank holiday on Monday." "We'll be robbing the train on Tuesday." "The whole village will be there." "Nobody will know before Wednesday that we've robbed the bank." "And we would've left with the goods." "And we'd have been relaxing somewhere." "Boss!" " Wonderful." "Enough." "Enough." "God has been so kind to us, Nana.." "..that this film crew came to Dhuliya to shoot for their film." "That day is not too far, when tourists will come to Dhuliya.." "..on a holiday or on honeymoon." "Yes." "And soon we'll have good business." "Listen." "Listen." "The film shoot that was supposed to take place.." "..will not happen now." "What?" " Yes." "Quietly." "Quietly." " What?" "Should I stop walking now?" "Boss, looks like he's dead." "is he your nephew? "He's dead."" "Get in." "Come on." "Quickly." "Quickly." "You know what, Mummy?" "The hero of the film is Aatish Kapoor." "But the main role is mine." "Do you know that I was a big fan of Aatish Kapoor's father?" "I'll also come for your film shoot." "After all, I'm the director's mother." "Well, where is your film shoot taking place?" "Girls, where are we?" " Dhuliya." "Dhuliya." " Dhuliya?" "I'll drop by over there." "is the film shoot going well?" "Take care." "Bye." "Okay, Mummy." "Bye." "My mother-in-low." "Listen, have any of you seen the director?" "Yes, I've seen him. I've seen him." "He and his three friends have gone towards the bank." "Bank!" "Bank?" "Close the door." "Our job is done." "Come on." "Boss, looks like they've found out about our plan." "What do we do now, boss?" "There's only one thing you can do in such a situation." "What?" "Run!" "Run!" "Run!" "Run!" "Mummy." "Run!" "Look." "There's the director." " Where?" "They're going towards the dark jungle." "Oh, God!" "Somebody stop them." "That is the jungle of the Headless Ghost." "Will somebody stop him.." "..or do I have to do that as well?" "Come on." "Where are you going?" "Director!" "Stop!" "Director." "Don't go that way." "Stop!" " lt will kill you!" "Heard that?" "They will kill us." "Run!" "They will kill us." "Boss, run!" "Idiots, stop." "Director, stop!" "Stop." " Run!" "I'll run faster than you." "Idiots." "You never stop." "I'll not stop for you." " Boss!" " Run!" "They're going deeper into the woods." "But why aren't they stopping?" "Inspector, you come with us as well." " Yes, come on." "What's going on?" "Why haven't you stopped them yet?" "Our boys have gone to the dark jungle." "For me, every jungle is dark." "Boss!" " Run!" "Boss!" "Boss!" "Oh, God!" "Ghost!" "Ghost!" "Headless Ghost!" "Ghost!" "Run!" "Ghost!" "Headless ghost!" "Ghost!" "Run!" "Don't stop!" "Run!" "Run." "Ghost!" ""Tees Maar Khan."" "Run." "Where is boss going?" "After the ghost." "Boss has gone crazy." "Run!" " Run!" "Stop!" "Stop!" " What happened?" "Look." "The director is going towards the ghost." " What?" "Boss is in danger." "We should help him." "But that's a ghost over there." "That's exactly why we should help him." "Had it been a human, boss would've handled him." "The Director has gone to fight the ghost for us." "We should lend him support." "He's right." "He's right." "Attack!" "Attack!" "He ran away." "Attack!" "Attack!" "Attack!" "Attack!" "Easy." " Boss." "Boss, what's happening?" "How would boss know?" "What's going on here?" "Yes." "What's going on here?" "Catch them!" "Attack!" "Attack!" "Attack!" "Are you crazy?" "Get out!" "You.." "What's going on here?" "What's going on?" "Tell me." "Tell us." "Speak." "Speak." "Tell us." "Speak." "Who are you?" "Speak." "What?" "This is Chenu's son." "He'd disappeared last year." "And we thought he drowned in the river." "Gopal?" "My son Gopal." "Father!" "Father!" "Come, my son." "Look." "They both are Laxman's sons." "Munnu!" "My son Munnu." "Come here, headless ghost." "Remove his head!" "Tell me." "Tell me." "What's going on here?" "Tell me." "Tell me." "I'll tell you." "We grow marijuana here." "We abducted all these kids from your village.." "..so that they can work for us." "And we'd spread the terror of the headless ghost.." "..so that the villagers wouldn't venture into this jungle." "Shame on us." "We couldn't do anything, Subedar." "Had it not been for our director.." ""Tees Maar Khan."" "You risked your life for us and faced such great danger." "We've never seen such a brave person." " Yes." "We'll always be indebted to you." "But we can surely do our bit." "What's this?" "No." "Santram told us that you're in need of money." "So we've collected as much as we can afford." "It must be between Rs.500,000 to Rs.600,000." "I hope it will be useful for your film shoot." "As soon as the bank opens, we'll arrange for more.." "No." "No." "This will do." "Thank you." "You've done us a great favour by accepting this money." "Complete your film." "Don't stop the film shoot." "Thank you." "Let's go, friends." "Boss, we've cheated these simple people." "We did something wrong, but we'll also do something good." "Before leaving, we'll give them.." "..something from our share of the loot." "And the money we robbed from them as well." "Really, boss?" "The toothpaste that's come out of the tube.." "..and the commitment that Tees Maar Khan has given.." "..can never be taken back." "The Khan of Khans." "Tees Maar Khan." ""He's a brave one." "Carefree soul."" ""He's a brave one." "Carefree soul."" ""He's cast a spell."" ""Eyes are sharp like a razor."" ""Hats off to the young man."" ""Descendant of valorous Arjun."" ""He's large hearted." " Can open every lock."" ""He's large hearted." " Trouble for the rich."" ""He's large hearted." "Sweeps us off our feet again and again."" ""He's large hearted."" ""lf he's around somewhere, your heart may fall for him."" ""ls that possible?" "The heart is in trouble."" ""Such great muscles, the heart falls for it easily."" ""With a dark mole on his chest."" ""He's large hearted." " l'll become his soul mate."" ""He's large hearted." " l'll surely garland him."" ""He's large hearted." "He killed four times."" ""He's large hearted."" ""Here he is."" ""Here he is."" ""Here he is."" ""Here he is."" ""He's a brave one." "Carefree soul."" ""He has cast a spell." "He's a young revolutionary."" ""He's too tough for the enemies."" ""Brave protector of the motherland."" ""He's large hearted." " Protected the tricolour."" ""He's large hearted." " He's a different kind of hero."" ""He's large hearted." "Sweeps us off our feet again and again."" ""He's large hearted."" "The old woman's bus broke down." "Park the car by the side of the road." "Are you crazy, brother?" "If the old woman sees us, she'll know.." "..that we're following her." "Smart boy." "We'll go ahead and park." " Yes." "Yes." "Hey!" "That old woman!" "She's in the middle of the road." "Brother, careful." "Brother!" "Brother!" "You two?" "Have you got the role?" "You're really bad actors, by the way." "Well, it doesn't matter." "Hold this. I'm coming for the film shoot as well." "Just a minute. I'll get my bag." "What are your names?" "Chatterjee." " Mukherjee." "Are you both married?" "No." "We haven't even fallen in love." "We're just good friends." "Idiots, I'm not asking about you both getting married." "I'm talking about a girl." ""Now that I'm here."" ""There will be lots of happiness around."" ""Riding on our dreams.."" ""..will the train come our way."" ""lf l am with you.."" ""..then why do you have to fear?"" ""Trouble has also run away."" ""Even if there are a lot of ghosts.."" "".." "I'll teach them a lesson."" ""As if a Robin Hood's saga."" ""l'm talked about in town."" ""He's large hearted." " Can open every lock."" ""He's large hearted." " Trouble for the rich."" ""He's large hearted." "Sweeps us off our feet again and again."" ""He's large hearted."" ""l'm feeling freaky, freaky."" ""l'm feeling naughty, naughty."" ""The way you're looking at me."" ""You got me moving my body."" ""l'm feeling freaky, freaky."" ""l'm feeling naughty, naughty."" ""The way you're looking at me."" ""You got me moving my body."" "Cut!" "Cut!" "Cut!" "What are you doing?" "Are you crazy?" "It's a village song." "What are you wearing?" "Okay. I'll go change my clothes." " Okay." "Go on." "Sound!" ""The heart has started to beat faster."" ""Like a fever it's rising and rising."" ""For the first time, my heart is awakening."" ""ls afraid of its feeling."" ""Yes, this gossip now appears in Filmfare."" ""That you're Yusuf and I, Madhubala."" ""He's large hearted."" ""Just like a genie from the bottle, he creates wonders."" ""Just like the sky rumbles, he creates thunder."" ""He'll fall on the oppressors just like a hunter."" ""Like gunpowder of dynamite."" ""He's large hearted." " He's a different kind of hero."" ""He's large hearted." " Hot like fire."" ""He's large hearted." "Sweeps us off our feet again and again."" ""He's large hearted." "He's large hearted."" "Hello!" "Charlie!" "Hello!" "Charlie!" "There's good news for you." "The train will pass Dhuliya at nine tomorrow morning." "Wonderful!" "Over and out!" " Just a minute." "Who got out?" "Who bowled the over?" " Which match is going on?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "He's a rascal, that Romeo." "He always tells us the incomplete score." "The train is coming." "Train!" "Train!" ""He's large hearted." "He's large hearted."" ""He's large hearted."" ""Trouble for the rich."" ""He's large hearted." "Sweeps us off our feet again and again."" ""He's large hearted."" ""He's large hearted." "He's large hearted."" ""This hero is different."" ""He's large hearted." "He's large hearted."" ""He's large hearted." "He's large hearted."" ""He's large hearted." "He's large hearted."" "Help me!" "Help!" "How is that?" "Very good." " Very good." "Once more." "Once more." "Help me!" "People of Dhuliya, after today you're no ordinary humans.." "You're artists." "Every old person, every child.." "..and every young person of this village.." "..will become immortal on the big screen forever." "The scene we're going to shoot today.." "..is the soul of this film." "That is the most important scene." "Important scene." "Apply some more make-up." "Hear out today's scene very carefully." "Subhedar, look here." " Here." "There's Bahadur Shah Zafar's treasure on the train." "The British regiment will be taking it to Queen Victoria." "The officers of this regiment look like us Indians." "But don't get taken in by their innocent faces." "They are servants of the British government." "And you all are revolutionaries.." "..who are going to stop this train.." "..and loot the treasure inside of it." "Listen to him, sir." "Loot again." "First the bank." "Now the train." "Darn it!" "is 'Bharat Ka Khazana' the name of the film.." "..or is it 'Chori Mera Kaam'?" "Son of a gun!" "The train is speeding." "Quickly, you scoundrels." "Chief, hand over your flag to Aatish." "That too in slow motion." "Aatish." "Boss." "With the flag in hand, you'll stand.." "..right in the middle of the tracks." "That too in slow motion." "Show me." "That's more like it." "Upon seeing you right in the middle of the tracks.." "..the troubled train driver will blow the whistle." "Well done." "Well done." "But you won't budge." "Never!" "An passion for independence is burning inside of you." "And you'll shout aloud." "Long live the revolution!" "Long live the revolution!" "Listen, on my mark all the villagers.." "..will pounce on the train like hungry wolves." "Got it?" "And tear away the uniforms of those British officers." "Unload all the stuff from the train and load it in this truck." "And me?" "What will I do?" "You." "You." "You're Razia Sultan." " Listen." "Wow!" "Who is she?" "Who is she?" "Bahadur Shah Zafar's daughter." "Bahadur Shah Zafar's daughter." "And all this treasure is your father's." "Wonderful!" "Let me put on some more rollers." "Yes, go do that." "Go on." "If she is Razia Sultan, then who the hell am I?" "'Chacha Chaudhary' (comic character)?" "No!" "Sheikh Chilli." "Hands up!" "He'll put us in trouble." "What is it?" "The train is coming, sir." "Yes." "The train is coming, Subedar!" "The train is coming!" "For the first time you've told me something without being asked." "..without being asked." "God!" "I hope this train doesn't spoil my hair." "Rising stars of Dhuliya.." "..the moment you've been waiting for is here." "Get ready for over-acting." "Boss, are you sure the train will stop here?" "And the police in there won't shoot at us?" "You'll get to know in ten minutes." "And me too." "Boss." "Am I or am I not in this film?" "Dear Dambar, it's impossible to do this scene without you." "Without you this film will be like 'Sholay' without Samba." "Like 'Titanic' without the crack." "The whole world will remember your name, D'souza." "Sir, you do remember it." "Dhurinder." "Yes, I will remember it, Dadar." "Aatish." " Sir!" "Aatish, the boxes will be heavy." "But I'd like you to carry them yourself and load them on the truck." "Will you be able to do it?" "Of course, sir." "Besides, I do my own stunts." "Good luck." "If you carry the boxes yourself.." "..then what will happen to your broken back?" "You got it treated recently, sir." "Bunty, if I carry the boxes today, I'll get the Oscar tomorrow." "Action!" "Sir, many people are running on the tracks." "Idiots." "What do they want?" "Sir, what do we do?" "Blow the whistle, Jagtap." "Idiot, the train's whistle." "Blow it." "Blow the train's whistle." "Boss!" " Boss!" "Enough." "Sir." " Yes?" "What do we do?" "Should we stop or crush them?" "There are 200 people." "If they die, we'll be imprisoned." "Move!" "Go away from the tracks!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "Hail the motherland!" "He gets the lifetime award." "Yes!" "Yes!" "Hey move." "It's that superstar Aatish Kapoor." "Sir, let's get his autograph." "Jagtap, get down!" "Traitors!" "You live off mother India, but you serve the British." "You dirty dog." "Where is my father's treasure?" "Ma'am, I don't know who your father is." "Enough." "Grab him!" " Move back!" "Long live the revolution!" "Hands up!" "Why are you pretending to shoot with your fake gun?" "Look here. I have a real gun." "Hit him!" "Off with his head." "Take him away." "You dirty dog." "You traitor!" " Control!" "Off with his head." "People of Dhuliya, loot it!" "I mean pounce on it!" "Hold it properly." "Everything's falling out." "The more you rob the bigger the actor you will be." "Rob it!" "Tabrez, my son." " Mother?" "Yes, I'm right here." "Why did you come here?" ""Wherever you go.."" "Quiet!" "Quiet!" "Who called you here?" "You never invite me to watch your film shoot." "So my would-be daughter-in-law has called me." "Darn it.." "Her mother has also come." "Isn't it heavy?" " Yes." "Let me help you." "Go away." "Hey, take this old woman away." "Mummy, how do I look?" "My baby is looking so beautiful." "Just like Saira Banu." " Aren't I?" "People of Dhuliya, sing with me." ""The land of my country.."" ""The land of my country.."" ""Gives us gold.."" ""Gives us diamonds and pearls."" ""The land of my country."" ""The land of my country."" ""The land of my country.."" ""Gives us gold.."" ""Gives us diamonds and pearls."" ""The land of my country."" "Whatever you're doing is being captured on our camera." "So, emotion." "People of Dhuliya, sing with enthusiasm." ""The land of my country.."" ""The land of my country.."" ""Gives us gold.."" ""Gives us diamonds and pearls."" ""The land of my country."" ""The land of my country."" ""The land of my country."" "Let me call up the commissioner." "Yes." "Yes." "Quickly." "My old friend?" "Yes, Chatterjee." " Hello, sir." "We've found Tees Maar Khan." "He's here in Dhuliya, sir." "Idiots, that is 'Bharat ka Khazana'." "Tees Maar Khan is robbing the treasure." "And I'm on that same train." "By the way, where are you?" "Sir, we're somewhere nearby." "We're watching it with our own eyes." "Well done." "is Tees Maar Khan around?" "is he speaking on the phone?" "Exactly, sir." "He's speaking on the phone." "Attack him." "What?" "No, sir." "I said attack him." "Okay, sir." "No." "No." "Blow him away, brother." "Attack him." "Do you have a gun?" "Yes." "The latest piece, sir." "Smith  Wesson." "Excellent!" "Now remove all the bullets from it." "Sir?" "Remove all the bullets." "Why should I remove the bullets?" "I don't understand." "Had you been that smart.." "..wouldn't you have been a commissioner like me?" "I want Tees Maar Khan alive." "Understand?" "Just do as I tell you to do." "Throw away the bullets and arrest Tees Maar Khan." "Okay, sir." " Remove them." "Throw them away." "Hands up!" "Sir, we've arrested Tees Maar Khan." "Swear on me." " l swear on you." "Surprise!" "Saving the honour of a harlot and imprisoning Tees Maar Khan." "Both are futile." "Hurry up." "Hurry up!" "Get in." "Get in." "Old woman, get in the car." "Villagers, keep singing." "I've placed cameras all around you." "Smile!" "Sing!" "Aatish, sing." "Sing." "Okay." "Come on, quickly." "Isn't Aatish coming with us?" "He's gone to get a suit made for the Oscars." "Even I wanted a dress." "I want to watch the film shooting, Tabrez." " Yes, I'll show you." "It's such a beautiful place." "Show me the film shoot." "Do one thing." "Take them both." "Take them to Mumbai." "Mother, let's go." "Stop doing that." "Gets your legs inside quickly." "Take them to Mumbai." "Take them away." "When is the next shot?" "Yes, next year." "Give me the keys to the trunk." "Quickly." "Why?" "Do you want to deposit the treasure in the bank?" "No." "I had promised myself.." "..that I'd leave some valuables for the villagers." "He's large hearted." "Give me five." "Are you out of your mind?" "I'm not asking for your permission." "Okay?" "I'm telling you about my decision." "Besides, we're giving it from our share." "You have nothing to do with it." "Come on." "Remove the keys from your pocket." "Come on." "Share?" "Come on!" "Move!" "Being an inspector, you're helping a criminal." "I'm Commissioner Khadak Singh." "The one who you've helped rob 'Bharat ka Khazana'.." "..is the wanted criminal Tees Maar Khan." "Yes." " What?" "Yes. I knew it.." "Sir, how did this happen?" "I didn't get it." "Darn it." "Didn't even realise it." "Tees Maar Khan!" "Quickly." "Quickly." "Listen." "Listen." "Let's put this in the bank." "You take care of that two-in-one." " Okay, boss." "Quickly." "Quickly." "Go on." "Boss, looks like he's dead." "Should I check him?" "is he your uncle?" " No, boss." "Hello?" "Tees Maar Khan?" "You need one more box?" "Will send it right away." "Boss has asked for another box." "Okay." "Okay." "Boss, the Johri brothers have escaped." "Stop!" "Why did you let them go?" "They said you asked me to." "When did I tell him?" " Hands up." "Let it go." "Hands up, Tees Maar Khan." "Speak now." "This poor guy is still in character." "The film shooting is over." "Your game is up, Tees Maar Khan." "Look, there's no enmity between us." "You're a good actor." "Come to Mumbai." "I'll introduce you to Yash Chopra." "He's our uncle." "Enough film shooting." "Now surrender yourself to me quietly." "Dharindar.. - lt's not Dharindar." "It's Dhurinder." "Inspector Dhurinder." "You're a criminal and I'm a police officer." "Address me with respect." "Hands up!" "You're under arrest, Tees Maar Khan." "Tees Maar Khan, you're under arrest." "I'll deal with you back in Mumbai Doordarshan." "Order!" "Order!" "Present the accused in court." "Stand up." "All these?" "All these are the accused?" "Yes, My Lord." "The whole village is filled with criminals." "No!" "No!" " No, Your Honour!" "Order!" "Order!" "Silence." "Speak one by one." "The whole village carried out the robbery together." "They deserve the harshest of punishments, My Lord." "No!" "No!" "Quiet." "Quiet." "Who are you, brother?" "International film director Manoj Day Ramalan." "I had ordered phony treasures for my film shoot." "But sir, some scoundrel sent genuine treasures." "And I suspect it is Steven." "Steven?" " Spielberg." "He's a liar, Your Honour." "Firstly, he's himself a wanted criminal." "Secondly, he has been to prison 11 times." "And he's escaped from prison 25 times." "How dare you!" "I'll sue you for defamation." "Get through this case first." " Sorry, sir." "To prove his true identity, I'd like to present two witnesses." "Special Officers, Chatterjee and Mukherjee." "Go ahead." "Your Honour, we personally arrested him in Paris." "But he tricked us and escaped." "Yes, Your Honour." "This is the international criminal.." "..Tabrez Mirza Khan alias Tees Maar Khan." "No." "No." "Your Honour, wait." "Wait." "He's not a criminal." "He's a godsend." "The director left this share of the treasure at the bank for us." "For us villagers." "He's large hearted." "Your Honour, because of him I got my son back." "He can't be a criminal." "Yes!" "He can't be." "If he's Tees Maar Khan, then what do we care?" "But he's always thought about the welfare of the village." "Yes." "Yes." "He thought about our welfare." "My son might be a criminal, but he's pure at heart." "And also cute." "Silence!" "Silence!" "Your Honour, had he been a criminal.." "..he wouldn't have left the treasure for the villagers." "You bet." "Yes." "Yes." "He might've shown me false dreams about the Oscars.." "..but he has awakened the artist in me, Your Honour." "If he's a criminal, then so am I." "Punish me as well." "Punish me as well." "Punish us as well." "Punish us as well!" "Quiet." "Quiet." "Silence." "Silence." "Order!" "Order!" "Brother, what now?" "What do I know, brother?" "Silence!" "Quiet!" "Quiet!" "Punish us as well!" "Did you see that, My Lord?" "They're all criminals." "Punish them." "I will. I'll surely punish them." "Quiet!" "Let me speak." "On account of all the evidence and testimonies.." "..this court declares Tees Maar Khan.." "..and the villagers of Dhuliya guilty." "No!" "No." " What are you saying, Your Honour?" "What nonsense is this?" " This is not possible." "Just a minute, Your Honour." "What now?" "All these people are innocent." "I'm the only culprit." "In fact, I deceived these decent people and have misled them." "They didn't even know that a robbery was about to take place." "So Your Honour, I request you.." "..that only I should be punished." "Okay, only you will be punished." "This court announces 60 years imprisonment for you." "No!" "No!" "No, Tabrez." "Yeah!" "Six years will fly by in a jiffy." "Not six years, it's 60 years." "60." "Case dismissed." "Not six, but 60 years." "Counsellor, do something." "Hit him." "Boss!" "Boss, take us with you." "No. I can't take all of you with me to prison." "You have to stay outside and complete my work." "You have to fulfil my dream." "Come on, boss." "How can we and Anya.." " Rascal!" "Boss, what else is left?" "Everything's gone." "Even the treasure." "There's one thing left." "Ma!" "No." "Cinema." "Cinema?" " Yes." "Have you forgotten our incomplete film 'Bharat Ka Khazana'?" "Yes." "Listen, I want you to complete that film and release it." " Okay, boss." "And whatever profit you make, give it to the villagers." "Boss, and you?" "Saving the honour.." "Saving the honour of a harlot and imprisoning Tees Maar Khan.." "Both are.." " Futile." "Both are.." " Futile." "Okay, boys." "See you at the world premiere." "See you at the premiere." "Boss!" "Hands up." "For the first time in the history of the world.." "..a director is coming directly from prison.." "..to attend the premiere of his film." "Yes, we're talking about.." "..the international criminal Tees Maar Khan." "Today, you've got special permission.." "..to attend the premiere of your film." "How do you feel?" "It feels really great." "Because two things are going to be released today." "Two?" "Yes." "My film and me." "What do you mean?" " lt means.." "The rising sun and a running Tees Maar Khan.." "..can never fall into anybody's hands." "Remember, I'll escape." "Okay." "Leave me." "Stop it." "Why are you hitting me?" "Who are you?" "Catch him." "Catch him." "Catch him." " No." "Hey!" "You roam naked wearing handmade cloth." "How does it feel?" "My naked hand on your naked cheek?" "Where is the hard-earned money of the poor Indians?" "Tell me!" "Let me try." "You dirty dog!" "Where is the hard-earned money of the poor Indians?" "Tell me." "Tell me." "Speak!" "Control." "Control." ""The land of my country.."" ""The land of my country.."" ""Gives us gold.."" ""Gives us diamonds and pearls."" ""The land of my country."" "The train's here, Subedar." "That's me." "What a film." "Yes!" "Congratulations!" " To you too." "You were terrific, my dear!" "Wow." "What a piece of art." "What a film." "This is French cinema." "This film should get an Oscar." "What is an Oscar?" "Where is the director of the film?" "I'd like to fall at his feet." "Rascal, what have you done?" "Why have you handcuffed me?" "He escaped again." "Oh, my God!" "My.." "No!" "Sir!" "Sir!" "Sir!" "Sir!" ""Money, money." "Oh, money."" "Party-time" "You?" "How did you get away?" "Like this." "The cunning criminal Tees Maar Khan.." "..escaped from police custody for the 26th time." "And this time from the premiere of his film." "I'll give you one chance to correct your mistake.." "..only if you return my share of the treasure to me." "Share?" "We'll give it to you right away." "Guards!" "Sir." "Shoot him." "What nonsense is this?" "Surprise!" "Hey 'Joint Account'." "We're thinking of taking away your money.." "..and your plane." "Right, captain?" " Yes, boss." "Mind the plane." "Luckily, I've found one parachute." "Put it on and both of you jump." "Go on." "Quickly." "Quickly." "He's joking." "Okay." "Go on." "Bye-bye." ""Happy ending!" "Happy ending!"" "Idiot." ""Everybody's looking for a happy ending."" ""Happy ending!" "Happy ending!"" "Stealing a bone from a dog's mouth.." "..and money from Tees Maar Khan." "Both are futile." "lmpossible." "And the next category is the best actor's award.." "Ladies and gentlemen, to present the award.." "..we have the sensation from Hollywood Anil Kapoor." "Anil Kapoor." "Anil Kapoor." "And the award goes to my friend from India, Aatish Kapoor." "Yes, you!" "Come on!" "Come on, India!" "Come on." "Come on, my boy." "Here's your award." "Take it." "Take it." "".." "let everyone's desires be fulfilled."" ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""But for us, let everything be better than others."" ""Let there be no one higher than us."" "Veet, hair removal cream." "A beautiful experience." ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""But for us, let everything be better than others."" ""Let there be no one higher than us."" ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""Happy ending." "Happy ending."" ""Everybody's looking for a happy ending."" ""Happy ending." "Happy ending."" ""Every story should have a happy ending."" ""We should be saluted with four firing cannons."" ""The people should be crazy about us."" ""ln a losing battle, may we fight as hard."" ""ln every game, may we have a joker."" ""We will wish." "We will request."" ""We will ask one day."" ""That the world is in our pockets."" ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""But for us, let everything be better than others."" ""Let there be no one higher than us."" ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""Happy ending." "Happy ending."" ""Everybody's looking for a happy ending."" ""Happy ending." "Happy ending."" ""Every story should have a happy ending."" ""Happy ending." "Happy ending."" ""Everybody's looking for a happy ending."" ""Happy ending." "Happy ending."" ""Every story should have a happy ending."" ""We'll see everyday with our eyes wide open."" ""Dreams shining like stars."" ""Will be fulfilled." "We'll also live in luxury."" ""Today, our ladder to heaven is in place."" ""Now everyone should talk about us night and day."" ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""But for us, let everything be better than others."" ""Let there be no one higher than us."" ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""But for us, let everything be better than others."" ""Let there be no one higher than us."" ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""But for us, let everything be better than others."" ""Let there be no one higher than us."" ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""But for us, let everything be better than others."" ""Let there be no one higher than us."" ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""But for us, let everything be better than others."" ""Let there be no one higher than us."" ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""l know you want it, but you're never going to get it."" ""l won't fall in your hands."" ""Believe it or not, the world is crazy for my love."" ""Hey, you."" ""l won't fall in your hands."" ""Believe it or not, the world is crazy for my love."" ""l feel like I should gently hold myself."" ""l don't need anyone else, I love myself."" ""What's my name?"" ""What's my name?"" ""What's my name?"" ""My name is Sheila."" ""Sheila's killer youth."" ""Am too sexy for you."" ""l won't fall into your hands."" ""No, no, no, Sheila."" ""Sheila's killer youth."" ""Am too sexy for you."" ""l won't fall into your hands."" ""Sheila."" ""Sheila's killer youth."" ""Am way too sexy for you."" ""l won't fall into your hands."" ""Ain't nobody got a body like.." " Sheila."" ""Everybody wants my body." " Sheila."" ""Drive you crazy because my name is.." " Sheila."" ""Ain't nobody got a body like.." " Sheila."" ""Ain't nobody got a body like.." " Sheila."" ""Drive you crazy because my name is.." "Aatish Kapoor?" "Yes, I'm making a film with Aatish Kapoor in the lead." "What?" " And you're his heroine." "I love you!" "Not in public." "Not in public." "Aatish!" ""Here he comes."" ""Here he comes."" ""Here he comes."" ""Here he comes."" ""Here he comes."" ""Here he comes."" "Hello." "Day ho!" " Day ho!" "Aatish Kapoor!" "Come on, villagers." "Meet Aatish Kapoor." "Shower your love on him." "Aatish Kapoor!" " Oh, God." "Aatish Kapoor." "Tomorrow at eight.." "Listen to me." "Listen." "Listen." "Listen!" "Tomorrow at eight in the morning.." "..please get to the railway tracks." "We'll have your film shoot." "Tell these people." "Tell them." "Tell them." "Move!" "There's a film shoot here." "Pick up the camera." "Okay." "Okay." "Okay." "Just dust in the eyes." "Don't overreact." "Move!" "There's a film shoot here." "Move." "Move." "The heroine is coming." "Can't you see?" "Move." "The heroine is coming." "Move." "I got it. I got it." "Mr. Aatish, I've asked the whole of Hollywood." "Nobody has even heard of Manoj Day Ramalan." "Sir, I feel he's a big fraud." "Enough." "Enough." "Enough!" "You thought Danny Toyle was Danny Denzongpa.." "..and you drove him away, you duffer." "Sorry, sir." "These Oscar types are like that." "Look at him, man." "Look at him." "And the villagers will lie on the track.." "He's a genius." "From here.." " Hands up!" "Have you lost it?" "Just look at my X-Factor." "Stick an X on your mouth." "That would make it triple X." "Very good idea, sir." " Yes." "Go on." "Go." "Heroines look better when fully clothed." "Take this." "Tabrez." " What?" "When will you introduce me to Mr. Aatish?" "Rascal." "After the film shoot gets over." "He's so mean." "Charlie, come in!" "Charlie!" "Charlie!" "Do you read me?" "Charlie!" "Charlie!" "Charlie isn't here." "Will Johri Brothers do?" "Hello, boss." "It's me, Romeo speaking." "Yes, Romeo." "Tell us what's the news?" "Boss, very bad news." "The train isn't coming with the antiques today." "Train isn't coming today?" "Why?" "The police commissioner has delayed the train for security reasons." "So when will it come?" "A week later." "What?" "Okay, boss." "Over and out." "What?" "How many overs?" "And who got out?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Which two teams were playing the match today?" "There's bad news." "What could be worse than you?" "Tell me." "The train isn't coming today." "What?" "Then?" "The train will come with the antiques next week." "So what are we supposed to do for a week?" "Lay eggs?" "No." "Aren't you the director?" "Shoot the film." "Shoot the film?" "With these idiots." " Bye-bye." "I'll go crazy." ""Tees Maar Khan."" "Day ho!" ""Tees Maar Khan."" "Boss, we are with you." " Yes, boss." "Really, boys?" " Yes." "I'll pack our stuff." " l'll take out the vehicle." "I'll pack the food for our journey." "I'll slap all three of you." "Boss." "Until we steal the antiques, we won't leave this village." "What do we do till then?" "Aren't I the director?" " Yes." "Let's play shooting-shooting." "Boss." "It's a romantic scene, you rascals." "Sorry, boss." " Come on." "I welcome all 200 co-artists of Dhuliya.." "..on the first day of the film shoot.." "..of Manoj Day Ramalan's film 'Bharat Ka Khazana'." "Now we'll begin our film shoot." "For a few days, I'd like you to watch how acting is done." "For that, I present before you India's scary artist.." "..superstar Aatish Kapoor." "Okay." "Okay." "That's enough." "And India's super heroine Anya." "Who is she?" "Who is she?" " l don't know." "Let me start the camera first, my dear." "Now we'll start the film shoot." "He's so mean." "Silence." "Silence." " Thank you." "Thank you." "Camera, ready?" " Ready, sir." "Lights, ready?" " Ready, sir." "Sound, ready?" " Sound ready." "Sound." "No." "That's okay." "Yes, all right." "Give the clap please." "Want to act?" "Now act." "Action!" "No!" "No!" "Yo, Day!" "What do I have to do?" "Cut!" "Stop the camera!" "Idiot!" "Camera cut." "Lights cut." "Cut." "Cut." "Cut." "Stop it." "Take the camera away." "Don't want to shoot. is this the way?" "Nonsense." "Everything is futile." "Everything.." "Cool." "Cool." "Cool." "Cool." "Aatish." "Good question, Aatish." "You asked a wonderful question." "You'll surely bag the Oscar next year." "Day Ho!" " Day Ho!" "Day Ho!" "Day Ho!" "But what do I have to do?" "Good question again." "Silence." "Silence." "The director is thinking." "He's thinking." "He's thinking." ""Tees Maar Khan."" "Got it!" "Got it!" "Got it!" "Got it!" "He got it!" "Come on, move." "Everyone will get it." "Then I'll bring the camera down and take it back up again." "And then turn around." "This is too much, man." "Will he change locations all the time.." "..or will he also start the shoot, sir?" "And then I'll take a shot from here." "Director." " Yes?" "Here are the keys to the bank." "Might come in handy for your film shoot." "Yes, all right." "Thank you." " Thank you." "Come." "Come." "Come." ""Tees Maar Khan."" "Sir." " Yes?" "What's the scene?" "At least tell us." "We'll just do the bank robbery today." "Bank robbery?" "Sir, is this a film about bandits or revolutionaries?" "But aren't I a revolutionary in the film?" "Good question." "Very good question." "You're the revolutionary and this is a British bank." "Bank?" "I don't get it." "Look, you're a revolutionary.." "..you get in the bank, you rob money from the British.." "..and distribute it to the poor Indians." "Poor Indian." "Oscar!" "Oscar!" "Oscar!" "Day ho!" "I got it!" "Day ho!" "Day ho!" "Day ho!" "What am I doing in this scene?" "Yes, you're a British lady." "British lady?" " Yes." "So why would she rob the bank?" "Why would she rob the bank?" "Why would she rob the bank?" "Because her father is Indian." "He's an Indian." "Aatish and she will together loot the British government." "Wow!" "I'll go enhance my make-up." "Yes." "Yes." "Go on." "Go smear some more." "Quickly." "British government!" "British government!" "Can't see a single foreigner over here, sir." "Your secretary too asks good questions." "Director, me!" "Got it!" "Got him!" "There he is." "My British sweeper." "My actor." "Bring him." "Come here." "Come here." "Your life is set." "Come on." "Here's our foreigner." "Day, this is a villager." "How will he speak English?" "Good question." "Very good question." "Put a chewing gum in his mouth." "Yes, boss." "Chew it." "I can talk English." "Do you want to listen to my English?" "Yes." "Yes." "English." "English." "English." "Get him ready now for the shoot." " Okay, boss." "Take him back and action!" "But Day, what do I have to do in this scene?" "Aatish." "Aatish." "Aatish." "Don't ask what you have to do." "Ask what you've done for your country." "What?" " Yes." "Close your eyes." " Why?" "Aatish, I'm telling you." "For my sake." "Close your eyes." "Good boy." "Now imagine that the British are ruling India for many years." "They're oppressing simple and innocent Indians." "No." "They've riddled India, our motherland, with bullets." "Mother." " Mother." "Yes." " No!" "They've even killed our women and children." "No!" "No!" "Take the shot." "Boss, take the shot." " Yes." "Action!" "Aatish." "You British!" "Rascal!" "You British!" "Rascal!" "Where is the hard-earned money of the poor Indians?" "Tell me!" "Tell me!" "Perhaps, he doesn't understand Hindi." "Let me try." "You dirty dog!" "Tell me." "Where is the hard-earned money of the poor Indians?" "Tell me." "Tell me." "Speak!" "Control." "Control." "Get up." "Chew." "Chew." "What will you poor Indians do with the money?" "Followers of non-violence." "You can't even buy guns." "You roam naked wearing handmade cloth." "Hit the British officer." "How was that?" "My naked hand on your naked cheek?" "Very nice. I'll go get the money now." "Wide shot." "Wide shot." "Wide shot." "Keep going." "Keep going." "Start the camera." "Forgive me." " Get out!" "Will you fire a cannon at me?" "Fire it at my chest if you have the guts." "Boss, he's become insane." "Stop him." "Fire it if you have the guts." "Boss, cut." "Cut it." "Cut." "Cut." "Fire!" "Fire!" "Dyer, fire it if you have any self-respect." "Cut!" "Boss!" "Cut!" "Fire!" "Fire!" "No." " Cut!" "Fire!" "Water." "Cut!" "Sorry, Day." "I just got into the character." "I thought you'd get into the camera." "But what a performance." "What a performance." "Oscar award-winning performance." "And my performance?" "You'll get a Rotary Club award." "Well, I'll go write my speech." "Go." "Go on quickly." "Sir, I'll go change." "Yes, go change." "Go dry yourself." "Listen to me." "Love you, sir. I love you." "He's crazy." "Excuse me, boss." "Need to tell you something important." " Tell me." "The film is over." "I'll slap you, okay?" "The film won't get over until we loot the goods." "No." "No." "Not that stuff." "The film that goes in the camera." "The negatives?" " Yes, we've run out of those." "The stock that we stole from Mumbai.." "I mean, boss, the stock we brought.." "We've run out of that." "Boss, I have an idea." "Let's shoot without the stock." "What would they know?" "That's better." "No." "Aatish and Bunty have been in the film industry for ten years." "We might handle Aatish." "But Bunty will understand immediately." "Boss, what do we do then?" "We'll have to bring the stuff from the city." "We've also run out of money." "We have to shoot for another five to six days." "So we'll need at least Rs.500,000 to Rs.600,000." "What's that?" "Boss, the keys to the bank." "The bank manager Santram himself gave it to us." "What do you think, boss?" "Wonderful suggestion." "Well done." "Boss, what if something goes wrong?" "If you're not good looking, you should say good things." "It's Friday today." "The bank will be closed for the next two days." "It's a bank holiday on Monday." "We'll be robbing the train on Tuesday." "The whole village will be there." "Nobody will know before Wednesday that we've robbed the bank." "And we would've left with the goods." "And we'd have been relaxing somewhere." "Boss!" " Wonderful." "Enough." "Enough." "God has been so kind to us, Nana.." "..that this film crew came to Dhuliya to shoot for their film." "That day is not too far, when tourists will come to Dhuliya.." "..on a holiday or on honeymoon." "Yes." "And soon we'll have good business." "Listen." "Listen." "The film shoot that was supposed to take place.." "..will not happen now." "What?" " Yes." "Quietly." "Quietly." " What?" "Should I stop walking now?" "Boss, looks like he's dead." "is he your nephew? "He's dead."" "Get in." "Come on." "Quickly." "Quickly." "You know what, Mummy?" "The hero of the film is Aatish Kapoor." "But the main role is mine." "Do you know that I was a big fan of Aatish Kapoor's father?" "I'll also come for your film shoot." "After all, I'm the director's mother." "Well, where is your film shoot taking place?" "Girls, where are we?" " Dhuliya." "Dhuliya." " Dhuliya?" "I'll drop by over there." "is the film shoot going well?" "Take care." "Bye." "Okay, Mummy." "Bye." "My mother-in-low." "Listen, have any of you seen the director?" "Yes, I've seen him. I've seen him." "He and his three friends have gone towards the bank." "Bank!" "Bank?" "Close the door." "Our job is done." "Come on." "Boss, looks like they've found out about our plan." "What do we do now, boss?" "There's only one thing you can do in such a situation." "What?" "Run!" "Run!" "Run!" "Run!" "Mummy." "Run!" "Look." "There's the director." " Where?" "They're going towards the dark jungle." "Oh, God!" "Somebody stop them." "That is the jungle of the Headless Ghost." "Will somebody stop him.." "..or do I have to do that as well?" "Come on." "Where are you going?" "Director!" "Stop!" "Director." "Don't go that way." "Stop!" " lt will kill you!" "Heard that?" "They will kill us." "Run!" "They will kill us." "Boss, run!" "Idiots, stop." "Director, stop!" "Stop." " Run!" "I'll run faster than you." "Idiots." "You never stop." "I'll not stop for you." " Boss!" " Run!" "They're going deeper into the woods." "But why aren't they stopping?" "Inspector, you come with us as well." " Yes, come on." "What's going on?" "Why haven't you stopped them yet?" "Our boys have gone to the dark jungle." "For me, every jungle is dark." "Boss!" " Run!" "Boss!" "Boss!" "Oh, God!" "Ghost!" "Ghost!" "Headless Ghost!" "Ghost!" "Run!" "Ghost!" "Headless ghost!" "Ghost!" "Run!" "Don't stop!" "Run!" "Run." "Ghost!" ""Tees Maar Khan."" "Run." "Where is boss going?" "After the ghost." "Boss has gone crazy." "Run!" " Run!" "Stop!" "Stop!" " What happened?" "Look." "The director is going towards the ghost." " What?" "Boss is in danger." "We should help him." "But that's a ghost over there." "That's exactly why we should help him." "Had it been a human, boss would've handled him." "The Director has gone to fight the ghost for us." "We should lend him support." "He's right." "He's right." "Attack!" "Attack!" "He ran away." "Attack!" "Attack!" "Attack!" "Attack!" "Easy." " Boss." "Boss, what's happening?" "How would boss know?" "What's going on here?" "Yes." "What's going on here?" "Catch them!" "Attack!" "Attack!" "Attack!" "Are you crazy?" "Get out!" "You.." "What's going on here?" "What's going on?" "Tell me." "Tell us." "Speak." "Speak." "Tell us." "Speak." "Who are you?" "Speak." "What?" "This is Chenu's son." "He'd disappeared last year." "And we thought he drowned in the river." "Gopal?" "My son Gopal." "Father!" "Father!" "Come, my son." "Look." "They both are Laxman's sons." "Munnu!" "My son Munnu." "Come here, headless ghost." "Remove his head!" "Tell me." "Tell me." "What's going on here?" "Tell me." "Tell me." "I'll tell you." "We grow marijuana here." "We abducted all these kids from your village.." "..so that they can work for us." "And we'd spread the terror of the headless ghost.." "..so that the villagers wouldn't venture into this jungle." "Shame on us." "We couldn't do anything, Subedar." "Had it not been for our director.." ""Tees Maar Khan."" "You risked your life for us and faced such great danger." "We've never seen such a brave person." " Yes." "We'll always be indebted to you." "But we can surely do our bit." "What's this?" "No." "Santram told us that you're in need of money." "So we've collected as much as we can afford." "It must be between Rs.500,000 to Rs.600,000." "I hope it will be useful for your film shoot." "As soon as the bank opens, we'll arrange for more.." "No." "No." "This will do." "Thank you." "You've done us a great favour by accepting this money." "Complete your film." "Don't stop the film shoot." "Thank you." "Let's go, friends." "Boss, we've cheated these simple people." "We did something wrong, but we'll also do something good." "Before leaving, we'll give them.." "..something from our share of the loot." "And the money we robbed from them as well." "Really, boss?" "The toothpaste that's come out of the tube.." "..and the commitment that Tees Maar Khan has given.." "..can never be taken back." "The Khan of Khans." "Tees Maar Khan." ""He's a brave one." "Carefree soul."" ""He's a brave one." "Carefree soul."" ""He's cast a spell."" ""Eyes are sharp like a razor."" ""Hats off to the young man."" ""Descendant of valorous Arjun."" ""He's large hearted." " Can open every lock."" ""He's large hearted." " Trouble for the rich."" ""He's large hearted." "Sweeps us off our feet again and again."" ""He's large hearted."" ""lf he's around somewhere, your heart may fall for him."" ""ls that possible?" "The heart is in trouble."" ""Such great muscles, the heart falls for it easily."" ""With a dark mole on his chest."" ""He's large hearted." " l'll become his soul mate."" ""He's large hearted." " l'll surely garland him."" ""He's large hearted." "He killed four times."" ""He's large hearted."" ""Here he is."" ""Here he is."" ""Here he is."" ""Here he is."" ""He's a brave one." "Carefree soul."" ""He has cast a spell." "He's a young revolutionary."" ""He's too tough for the enemies."" ""Brave protector of the motherland."" ""He's large hearted." " Protected the tricolour."" ""He's large hearted." " He's a different kind of hero."" ""He's large hearted." "Sweeps us off our feet again and again."" ""He's large hearted."" "The old woman's bus broke down." "Park the car by the side of the road." "Are you crazy, brother?" "If the old woman sees us, she'll know.." "..that we're following her." "Smart boy." "We'll go ahead and park." " Yes." "Yes." "Hey!" "That old woman!" "She's in the middle of the road." "Brother, careful." "Brother!" "Brother!" "You two?" "Have you got the role?" "You're really bad actors, by the way." "Well, it doesn't matter." "Hold this. I'm coming for the film shoot as well." "Just a minute. I'll get my bag." "What are your names?" "Chatterjee." " Mukherjee." "Are you both married?" "No." "We haven't even fallen in love." "We're just good friends." "Idiots, I'm not asking about you both getting married." "I'm talking about a girl." ""Now that I'm here."" ""There will be lots of happiness around."" ""Riding on our dreams.."" ""..will the train come our way."" ""lf l am with you.."" ""..then why do you have to fear?"" ""Trouble has also run away."" ""Even if there are a lot of ghosts.."" "".." "I'll teach them a lesson."" ""As if a Robin Hood's saga."" ""l'm talked about in town."" ""He's large hearted." " Can open every lock."" ""He's large hearted." " Trouble for the rich."" ""He's large hearted." "Sweeps us off our feet again and again."" ""He's large hearted."" ""l'm feeling freaky, freaky."" ""l'm feeling naughty, naughty."" ""The way you're looking at me."" ""You got me moving my body."" ""l'm feeling freaky, freaky."" ""l'm feeling naughty, naughty."" ""The way you're looking at me."" ""You got me moving my body."" "Cut!" "Cut!" "Cut!" "What are you doing?" "Are you crazy?" "It's a village song." "What are you wearing?" "Okay. I'll go change my clothes." " Okay." "Go on." "Sound!" ""The heart has started to beat faster."" ""Like a fever it's rising and rising."" ""For the first time, my heart is awakening."" ""ls afraid of its feeling."" ""Yes, this gossip now appears in Filmfare."" ""That you're Yusuf and I, Madhubala."" ""He's large hearted."" ""Just like a genie from the bottle, he creates wonders."" ""Just like the sky rumbles, he creates thunder."" ""He'll fall on the oppressors just like a hunter."" ""Like gunpowder of dynamite."" ""He's large hearted." " He's a different kind of hero."" ""He's large hearted." " Hot like fire."" ""He's large hearted." "Sweeps us off our feet again and again."" ""He's large hearted." "He's large hearted."" "Hello!" "Charlie!" "Hello!" "Charlie!" "There's good news for you." "The train will pass Dhuliya at nine tomorrow morning." "Wonderful!" "Over and out!" " Just a minute." "Who got out?" "Who bowled the over?" " Which match is going on?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "He's a rascal, that Romeo." "He always tells us the incomplete score." "The train is coming." "Train!" "Train!" ""He's large hearted." "He's large hearted."" ""He's large hearted."" ""Trouble for the rich."" ""He's large hearted." "Sweeps us off our feet again and again."" ""He's large hearted."" ""He's large hearted." "He's large hearted."" ""This hero is different."" ""He's large hearted." "He's large hearted."" ""He's large hearted." "He's large hearted."" ""He's large hearted." "He's large hearted."" "Help me!" "Help!" "How is that?" "Very good." " Very good." "Once more." "Once more." "Help me!" "People of Dhuliya, after today you're no ordinary humans.." "You're artists." "Every old person, every child.." "..and every young person of this village.." "..will become immortal on the big screen forever." "The scene we're going to shoot today.." "..is the soul of this film." "That is the most important scene." "Important scene." "Apply some more make-up." "Hear out today's scene very carefully." "Subhedar, look here." " Here." "There's Bahadur Shah Zafar's treasure on the train." "The British regiment will be taking it to Queen Victoria." "The officers of this regiment look like us Indians." "But don't get taken in by their innocent faces." "They are servants of the British government." "And you all are revolutionaries.." "..who are going to stop this train.." "..and loot the treasure inside of it." "Listen to him, sir." "Loot again." "First the bank." "Now the train." "Darn it!" "is 'Bharat Ka Khazana' the name of the film.." "..or is it 'Chori Mera Kaam'?" "Son of a gun!" "The train is speeding." "Quickly, you scoundrels." "Chief, hand over your flag to Aatish." "That too in slow motion." "Aatish." "Boss." "With the flag in hand, you'll stand.." "..right in the middle of the tracks." "That too in slow motion." "Show me." "That's more like it." "Upon seeing you right in the middle of the tracks.." "..the troubled train driver will blow the whistle." "Well done." "Well done." "But you won't budge." "Never!" "An passion for independence is burning inside of you." "And you'll shout aloud." "Long live the revolution!" "Long live the revolution!" "Listen, on my mark all the villagers.." "..will pounce on the train like hungry wolves." "Got it?" "And tear away the uniforms of those British officers." "Unload all the stuff from the train and load it in this truck." "And me?" "What will I do?" "You." "You." "You're Razia Sultan." " Listen." "Wow!" "Who is she?" "Who is she?" "Bahadur Shah Zafar's daughter." "Bahadur Shah Zafar's daughter." "And all this treasure is your father's." "Wonderful!" "Let me put on some more rollers." "Yes, go do that." "Go on." "If she is Razia Sultan, then who the hell am I?" "'Chacha Chaudhary' (comic character)?" "No!" "Sheikh Chilli." "Hands up!" "He'll put us in trouble." "What is it?" "The train is coming, sir." "Yes." "The train is coming, Subedar!" "The train is coming!" "For the first time you've told me something without being asked." "..without being asked." "God!" "I hope this train doesn't spoil my hair." "Rising stars of Dhuliya.." "..the moment you've been waiting for is here." "Get ready for over-acting." "Boss, are you sure the train will stop here?" "And the police in there won't shoot at us?" "You'll get to know in ten minutes." "And me too." "Boss." "Am I or am I not in this film?" "Dear Dambar, it's impossible to do this scene without you." "Without you this film will be like 'Sholay' without Samba." "Like 'Titanic' without the crack." "The whole world will remember your name, D'souza." "Sir, you do remember it." "Dhurinder." "Yes, I will remember it, Dadar." "Aatish." " Sir!" "Aatish, the boxes will be heavy." "But I'd like you to carry them yourself and load them on the truck." "Will you be able to do it?" "Of course, sir." "Besides, I do my own stunts." "Good luck." "If you carry the boxes yourself.." "..then what will happen to your broken back?" "You got it treated recently, sir." "Bunty, if I carry the boxes today, I'll get the Oscar tomorrow." "Action!" "Sir, many people are running on the tracks." "Idiots." "What do they want?" "Sir, what do we do?" "Blow the whistle, Jagtap." "Idiot, the train's whistle." "Blow it." "Blow the train's whistle." "Boss!" " Boss!" "Enough." "Sir." " Yes?" "What do we do?" "Should we stop or crush them?" "There are 200 people." "If they die, we'll be imprisoned." "Move!" "Go away from the tracks!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "Hail the motherland!" "He gets the lifetime award." "Yes!" "Yes!" "Hey move." "It's that superstar Aatish Kapoor." "Sir, let's get his autograph." "Jagtap, get down!" "Traitors!" "You live off mother India, but you serve the British." "You dirty dog." "Where is my father's treasure?" "Ma'am, I don't know who your father is." "Enough." "Grab him!" " Move back!" "Long live the revolution!" "Hands up!" "Why are you pretending to shoot with your fake gun?" "Look here. I have a real gun." "Hit him!" "Off with his head." "Take him away." "You dirty dog." "You traitor!" " Control!" "Off with his head." "People of Dhuliya, loot it!" "I mean pounce on it!" "Hold it properly." "Everything's falling out." "The more you rob the bigger the actor you will be." "Rob it!" "Tabrez, my son." " Mother?" "Yes, I'm right here." "Why did you come here?" ""Wherever you go.."" "Quiet!" "Quiet!" "Who called you here?" "You never invite me to watch your film shoot." "So my would-be daughter-in-law has called me." "Darn it.." "Her mother has also come." "Isn't it heavy?" " Yes." "Let me help you." "Go away." "Hey, take this old woman away." "Mummy, how do I look?" "My baby is looking so beautiful." "Just like Saira Banu." " Aren't I?" "People of Dhuliya, sing with me." ""The land of my country.."" ""The land of my country.."" ""Gives us gold.."" ""Gives us diamonds and pearls."" ""The land of my country."" ""The land of my country."" ""The land of my country.."" ""Gives us gold.."" ""Gives us diamonds and pearls."" ""The land of my country."" "Whatever you're doing is being captured on our camera." "So, emotion." "People of Dhuliya, sing with enthusiasm." ""The land of my country.."" ""The land of my country.."" ""Gives us gold.."" ""Gives us diamonds and pearls."" ""The land of my country."" ""The land of my country."" ""The land of my country."" "Let me call up the commissioner." "Yes." "Yes." "Quickly." "My old friend?" "Yes, Chatterjee." " Hello, sir." "We've found Tees Maar Khan." "He's here in Dhuliya, sir." "Idiots, that is 'Bharat ka Khazana'." "Tees Maar Khan is robbing the treasure." "And I'm on that same train." "By the way, where are you?" "Sir, we're somewhere nearby." "We're watching it with our own eyes." "Well done." "is Tees Maar Khan around?" "is he speaking on the phone?" "Exactly, sir." "He's speaking on the phone." "Attack him." "What?" "No, sir." "I said attack him." "Okay, sir." "No." "No." "Blow him away, brother." "Attack him." "Do you have a gun?" "Yes." "The latest piece, sir." "Smith  Wesson." "Excellent!" "Now remove all the bullets from it." "Sir?" "Remove all the bullets." "Why should I remove the bullets?" "I don't understand." "Had you been that smart.." "..wouldn't you have been a commissioner like me?" "I want Tees Maar Khan alive." "Understand?" "Just do as I tell you to do." "Throw away the bullets and arrest Tees Maar Khan." "Okay, sir." " Remove them." "Throw them away." "Hands up!" "Sir, we've arrested Tees Maar Khan." "Swear on me." " l swear on you." "Surprise!" "Saving the honour of a harlot and imprisoning Tees Maar Khan." "Both are futile." "Hurry up." "Hurry up!" "Get in." "Get in." "Old woman, get in the car." "Villagers, keep singing." "I've placed cameras all around you." "Smile!" "Sing!" "Aatish, sing." "Sing." "Okay." "Come on, quickly." "Isn't Aatish coming with us?" "He's gone to get a suit made for the Oscars." "Even I wanted a dress." "I want to watch the film shooting, Tabrez." " Yes, I'll show you." "It's such a beautiful place." "Show me the film shoot." "Do one thing." "Take them both." "Take them to Mumbai." "Mother, let's go." "Stop doing that." "Gets your legs inside quickly." "Take them to Mumbai." "Take them away." "When is the next shot?" "Yes, next year." "Give me the keys to the trunk." "Quickly." "Why?" "Do you want to deposit the treasure in the bank?" "No." "I had promised myself.." "..that I'd leave some valuables for the villagers." "He's large hearted." "Give me five." "Are you out of your mind?" "I'm not asking for your permission." "Okay?" "I'm telling you about my decision." "Besides, we're giving it from our share." "You have nothing to do with it." "Come on." "Remove the keys from your pocket." "Come on." "Share?" "Come on!" "Move!" "Being an inspector, you're helping a criminal." "I'm Commissioner Khadak Singh." "The one who you've helped rob 'Bharat ka Khazana'.." "..is the wanted criminal Tees Maar Khan." "Yes." " What?" "Yes. I knew it.." "Sir, how did this happen?" "I didn't get it." "Darn it." "Didn't even realise it." "Tees Maar Khan!" "Quickly." "Quickly." "Listen." "Listen." "Let's put this in the bank." "You take care of that two-in-one." " Okay, boss." "Quickly." "Quickly." "Go on." "Boss, looks like he's dead." "Should I check him?" "is he your uncle?" " No, boss." "Hello?" "Tees Maar Khan?" "You need one more box?" "Will send it right away." "Boss has asked for another box." "Okay." "Okay." "Boss, the Johri brothers have escaped." "Stop!" "Why did you let them go?" "They said you asked me to." "When did I tell him?" " Hands up." "Let it go." "Hands up, Tees Maar Khan." "Speak now." "This poor guy is still in character." "The film shooting is over." "Your game is up, Tees Maar Khan." "Look, there's no enmity between us." "You're a good actor." "Come to Mumbai." "I'll introduce you to Yash Chopra." "He's our uncle." "Enough film shooting." "Now surrender yourself to me quietly." "Dharindar.. - lt's not Dharindar." "It's Dhurinder." "Inspector Dhurinder." "You're a criminal and I'm a police officer." "Address me with respect." "Hands up!" "You're under arrest, Tees Maar Khan." "Tees Maar Khan, you're under arrest." "I'll deal with you back in Mumbai Doordarshan." "Order!" "Order!" "Present the accused in court." "Stand up." "All these?" "All these are the accused?" "Yes, My Lord." "The whole village is filled with criminals." "No!" "No!" " No, Your Honour!" "Order!" "Order!" "Silence." "Speak one by one." "The whole village carried out the robbery together." "They deserve the harshest of punishments, My Lord." "No!" "No!" "Quiet." "Quiet." "Who are you, brother?" "International film director Manoj Day Ramalan." "I had ordered phony treasures for my film shoot." "But sir, some scoundrel sent genuine treasures." "And I suspect it is Steven." "Steven?" " Spielberg." "He's a liar, Your Honour." "Firstly, he's himself a wanted criminal." "Secondly, he has been to prison 11 times." "And he's escaped from prison 25 times." "How dare you!" "I'll sue you for defamation." "Get through this case first." " Sorry, sir." "To prove his true identity, I'd like to present two witnesses." "Special Officers, Chatterjee and Mukherjee." "Go ahead." "Your Honour, we personally arrested him in Paris." "But he tricked us and escaped." "Yes, Your Honour." "This is the international criminal.." "..Tabrez Mirza Khan alias Tees Maar Khan." "No." "No." "Your Honour, wait." "Wait." "He's not a criminal." "He's a godsend." "The director left this share of the treasure at the bank for us." "For us villagers." "He's large hearted." "Your Honour, because of him I got my son back." "He can't be a criminal." "Yes!" "He can't be." "If he's Tees Maar Khan, then what do we care?" "But he's always thought about the welfare of the village." "Yes." "Yes." "He thought about our welfare." "My son might be a criminal, but he's pure at heart." "And also cute." "Silence!" "Silence!" "Your Honour, had he been a criminal.." "..he wouldn't have left the treasure for the villagers." "You bet." "Yes." "Yes." "He might've shown me false dreams about the Oscars.." "..but he has awakened the artist in me, Your Honour." "If he's a criminal, then so am I." "Punish me as well." "Punish me as well." "Punish us as well." "Punish us as well!" "Quiet." "Quiet." "Silence." "Silence." "Order!" "Order!" "Brother, what now?" "What do I know, brother?" "Silence!" "Quiet!" "Quiet!" "Punish us as well!" "Did you see that, My Lord?" "They're all criminals." "Punish them." "I will. I'll surely punish them." "Quiet!" "Let me speak." "On account of all the evidence and testimonies.." "..this court declares Tees Maar Khan.." "..and the villagers of Dhuliya guilty." "No!" "No." " What are you saying, Your Honour?" "What nonsense is this?" " This is not possible." "Just a minute, Your Honour." "What now?" "All these people are innocent." "I'm the only culprit." "In fact, I deceived these decent people and have misled them." "They didn't even know that a robbery was about to take place." "So Your Honour, I request you.." "..that only I should be punished." "Okay, only you will be punished." "This court announces 60 years imprisonment for you." "No!" "No!" "No, Tabrez." "Yeah!" "Six years will fly by in a jiffy." "Not six years, it's 60 years." "60." "Case dismissed." "Not six, but 60 years." "Counsellor, do something." "Hit him." "Boss!" "Boss, take us with you." "No. I can't take all of you with me to prison." "You have to stay outside and complete my work." "You have to fulfil my dream." "Come on, boss." "How can we and Anya.." " Rascal!" "Boss, what else is left?" "Everything's gone." "Even the treasure." "There's one thing left." "Ma!" "No." "Cinema." "Cinema?" " Yes." "Have you forgotten our incomplete film 'Bharat Ka Khazana'?" "Yes." "Listen, I want you to complete that film and release it." " Okay, boss." "And whatever profit you make, give it to the villagers." "Boss, and you?" "Saving the honour.." "Saving the honour of a harlot and imprisoning Tees Maar Khan.." "Both are.." " Futile." "Both are.." " Futile." "Okay, boys." "See you at the world premiere." "See you at the premiere." "Boss!" "Hands up." "For the first time in the history of the world.." "..a director is coming directly from prison.." "..to attend the premiere of his film." "Yes, we're talking about.." "..the international criminal Tees Maar Khan." "Today, you've got special permission.." "..to attend the premiere of your film." "How do you feel?" "It feels really great." "Because two things are going to be released today." "Two?" "Yes." "My film and me." "What do you mean?" " lt means.." "The rising sun and a running Tees Maar Khan.." "..can never fall into anybody's hands." "Remember, I'll escape." "Okay." "Leave me." "Stop it." "Why are you hitting me?" "Who are you?" "Catch him." "Catch him." "Catch him." " No." "Hey!" "You roam naked wearing handmade cloth." "How does it feel?" "My naked hand on your naked cheek?" "Where is the hard-earned money of the poor Indians?" "Tell me!" "Let me try." "You dirty dog!" "Where is the hard-earned money of the poor Indians?" "Tell me." "Tell me." "Speak!" "Control." "Control." ""The land of my country.."" ""The land of my country.."" ""Gives us gold.."" ""Gives us diamonds and pearls."" ""The land of my country."" "The train's here, Subedar." "That's me." "What a film." "Yes!" "Congratulations!" " To you too." "You were terrific, my dear!" "Wow." "What a piece of art." "What a film." "This is French cinema." "This film should get an Oscar." "What is an Oscar?" "Where is the director of the film?" "I'd like to fall at his feet." "Rascal, what have you done?" "Why have you handcuffed me?" "He escaped again." "Oh, my God!" "My.." "No!" "Sir!" "Sir!" "Sir!" "Sir!" ""Money, money." "Oh, money."" "Party-time" "You?" "How did you get away?" "Like this." "The cunning criminal Tees Maar Khan.." "..escaped from police custody for the 26th time." "And this time from the premiere of his film." "I'll give you one chance to correct your mistake.." "..only if you return my share of the treasure to me." "Share?" "We'll give it to you right away." "Guards!" "Sir." "Shoot him." "What nonsense is this?" "Surprise!" "Hey 'Joint Account'." "We're thinking of taking away your money.." "..and your plane." "Right, captain?" " Yes, boss." "Mind the plane." "Luckily, I've found one parachute." "Put it on and both of you jump." "Go on." "Quickly." "Quickly." "He's joking." "Okay." "Go on." "Bye-bye." ""Happy ending!" "Happy ending!"" "Idiot." ""Everybody's looking for a happy ending."" ""Happy ending!" "Happy ending!"" "Stealing a bone from a dog's mouth.." "..and money from Tees Maar Khan." "Both are futile." "lmpossible." "And the next category is the best actor's award.." "Ladies and gentlemen, to present the award.." "..we have the sensation from Hollywood Anil Kapoor." "Anil Kapoor." "Anil Kapoor." "And the award goes to my friend from India, Aatish Kapoor." "Yes, you!" "Come on!" "Come on, India!" "Come on." "Come on, my boy." "Here's your award." "Take it." "Take it." "".." "let everyone's desires be fulfilled."" ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""But for us, let everything be better than others."" ""Let there be no one higher than us."" "Veet, hair removal cream." "A beautiful experience." ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""But for us, let everything be better than others."" ""Let there be no one higher than us."" ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""Happy ending." "Happy ending."" ""Everybody's looking for a happy ending."" ""Happy ending." "Happy ending."" ""Every story should have a happy ending."" ""We should be saluted with four firing cannons."" ""The people should be crazy about us."" ""ln a losing battle, may we fight as hard."" ""ln every game, may we have a joker."" ""We will wish." "We will request."" ""We will ask one day."" ""That the world is in our pockets."" ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""But for us, let everything be better than others."" ""Let there be no one higher than us."" ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""Happy ending." "Happy ending."" ""Everybody's looking for a happy ending."" ""Happy ending." "Happy ending."" ""Every story should have a happy ending."" ""Happy ending." "Happy ending."" ""Everybody's looking for a happy ending."" ""Happy ending." "Happy ending."" ""Every story should have a happy ending."" ""We'll see everyday with our eyes wide open."" ""Dreams shining like stars."" ""Will be fulfilled." "We'll also live in luxury."" ""Today, our ladder to heaven is in place."" ""Now everyone should talk about us night and day."" ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""But for us, let everything be better than others."" ""Let there be no one higher than us."" ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""But for us, let everything be better than others."" ""Let there be no one higher than us."" ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""But for us, let everything be better than others."" ""Let there be no one higher than us."" ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""But for us, let everything be better than others."" ""Let there be no one higher than us."" ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""But for us, let everything be better than others."" ""Let there be no one higher than us."" ""May all fare well."" ""May things go right for everyone."" ""l know you want it, but you're never going to get it."" ""l won't fall in your hands."" ""Believe it or not, the world is crazy for my love."" ""Hey, you."" ""l won't fall in your hands."" ""Believe it or not, the world is crazy for my love."" ""l feel like I should gently hold myself."" ""l don't need anyone else, I love myself."" ""What's my name?"" ""What's my name?"" ""What's my name?"" ""My name is Sheila."" ""Sheila's killer youth."" ""Am too sexy for you."" ""l won't fall into your hands."" ""No, no, no, Sheila."" ""Sheila's killer youth."" ""Am too sexy for you."" ""l won't fall into your hands."" ""Sheila."" ""Sheila's killer youth."" ""Am way too sexy for you."" ""l won't fall into your hands."" ""Ain't nobody got a body like.." " Sheila."" ""Everybody wants my body." " Sheila."" ""Drive you crazy because my name is.." " Sheila."" ""Ain't nobody got a body like.." " Sheila."" ""Ain't nobody got a body like.." " Sheila."" ""Drive you crazy because my name is.."