"[chains jangling]" "There is no way out of this." "We're gonna die here." "[doctor] pass me the vibro-cutters." "[clara] they're in my pocket." "Come on then, pass them to me." "In my other jacket." "At home." "Why have you got two jackets, is one of them faulty?" "Look, I don't have the vibro-cutters." "If I had the vibro-cutters, I wouldn't be able to pass you the vibro-cutters!" "We're going to starve to death out here." "Of course we won't starve." "The sand piranhas will get us long before that." "Hiya!" "Sorry I'm late." "You're not but you are brown, you're very brown." "You weren't that brown this morning." "Sunbed." "I'll get 'em in." "Usual?" "[doctor] fish people!" "[clara] what are they like?" "Fish." "And people." "Come and see." " How's you?" " Evening." "Nice frock." "It's a bit wet." "Freak shower!" "Was that seaweed?" "I said freak." "How much further?" "Tardis, got to be round this corner!" " [doctor grunts] - [clara screams]" "I hate soldiers!" "Don't you hate soldiers?" " Yeah!" "[screams] - just keep running!" "Oh, yeah." "Danny." "Hiya." " Morning." "Ready to run?" " Mm-hmm-hmm!" "[gasping]" "I can't keep doing this." "I can't do it." "Yes I can." "I can do it." "Of course, I can do it." "[exhales]" "I've got it all under control." "So, where we off to?" "Clara!" "You look lovely today, have you had a wash?" "Why are you being nice?" "Because it works on you." "Listen, I'm sorry, but there's going to be" "No trip today, I'm sorry." "I've got to do a thing." "It might take a while." " What thing?" " Just a thing." "You're being mysterious." "And do you know what means?" "I'm a man of mystery." "[chuckles softly] it means that you are a very clever man" "Making the mistake common to very clever people" "Of assuming that everybody is else is stupid!" "Where are you going?" "Undercover." "Deep cover." " Can you do deep cover?" " What do you mean?" " Have you seen you?" " Of course I can do deep cover." "[chuckles] where?" "The magic circle?" "I'll see you when I see you." "When's that?" "When I see you!" "Hmm." "Hmm." "I'll be sure to have a wash." "Excellent." "I was meaning to bring it up." "[whirring, beeping] [kids shouting, playing]" "You lot!" "Not here!" "Over there!" "Morning, mr." "Pink." "Good morning, courtney." "And good morning, miss oswald." "Good morning, mr." "Pink." "[giggling]" " Do they know?" " Possibly." "They're children." "It's like they have minds of their own." "Are you ok?" "Yeah." "Course I'm ok, why wouldn't I be ok?" "I don't know." "Every time I see you, it's like you're..." "What?" "In a rush." "In a state." "In a space helmet, one time." "Sorry." "I've had a..." "Thing..." "And the thing's gone." "So, I'm all yours." " What thing?" "What's gone?" " Nothing." "It's like you're trying to be mysterious." "I'm not stupid, you know." "[sighs] the next few days are all about you." "I promise." "[students laughing] [armitage] which means, jo, you'll have to cover for 8/4m in l3." "Hold on, there is just one more thing, yes?" "Atif's off sick, so we've got a newbie." "I did ask him to come along." " [knocking at door] - oh, here he is." "I'm the new caretaker." "John smith." "Welcome to coal hill, mr." "Smith." "Thanks." "Yes, john smith's the name." "But do you know, here's the thing," "Most people just call me "the doctor."" "[electronic whirring] [theme music playing]" "So, if anybody needs me, just give me a shout." "I'll be in the storeroom just getting the lie of the land." "Yes, nobody's taking any notice at all." "Absolutely good news, because it means I must be coming across" "Just as an absolutely boring human being like you." "[no audio]" "Deep cover." " [danny] do you know him?" " [clara] know who?" "The caretaker, smith." ""the doctor."" "Never seen him before in my life." "Bit intense looking." "Did you see those eyebrows?" " Did he wink at you?" " No, I think that was just sort of like a general wink," "You know, he winked at everybody." "It was like a general welcoming wink." "Ah!" "I have left some marking." "Assembly, chop chop!" "Off you pop, catch you in a bit." "Excuse me!" "So, you recognised me then." "You're wearing a different coat!" "You saw straight through that." "Deep cover in my school?" "Why?" "Where's atif?" "What have you done with him?" "He's fine, hypnotised, thinks he's got the flu." "Also a flying car and three wives," "It's going to be a rude awakening." "Is it aliens?" "Oh my god, is that why you're here?" "Are there aliens?" "It's assembly, you better get going." "Go and worship something." "Are there aliens in this school?" "Listen, it's lovely talking to you." "I've really got to get on, I'm a caretaker now." " Look, I've got a brush." " Doctor..." "Is there an alien in this school?" "Yes." "Me." "Now, go!" "The walls need sponging and there's a sinister puddle." "You can't do this." "You cannot pass yourself off" "As a real person among actual people." "I lived among otters once for a month." "Well, I sulked." "River and I, we had this big fight..." "Human beings are not otters!" "Exactly, it'll be even easier." "Ok." "One question." "And you will answer this question." " Are the kids safe?" " No." "Nobody is safe." "But soon the answer will be yes, everybody is safe," "If you let me get on." "Now..." "Pretend you don't know me, stay out of my way." "The less you know, the better, and I'll explain it all later." " Go and sing with the otters." " I hate you." "That's fine, that's a perfectly normal reaction." "[boy] basically, you've got to get that guy on the block," "Stop that other one shooting him... [video game whirring and zapping] [laughs] I got that guy, that was, like, six months ago." "What you actually have to do it flick it that way..." " You coal hill kids?" " Yeah, so what if we are?" "Then get to coal hill." "We've got a free period, mate." "You want me to take your names?" "Come on." "This is unfair mate!" "Always come in threes." "Oi!" "I know you're in there!" "Hello!" "I'm a police officer!" "[electronic whirring]" "[matthew] there's no point hiding!" "Do you hear me?" "Come on, kiddo!" "[electronic voice] five-stop-intruder." "Five-stop-intruder." "[matthew] turn your game off!" "It's time for school!" "Come on!" " Stop messing about!" " [electronic whirring] [skovox] problem." "Solution." "Destroy." "[screaming]" "[kelvin] "..." "Though unheard by lydia," "Was caught by elizabeth, and as it assured her that darcy" "Was not..."" "You all right, miss oswald?" "Yes, kelvin, I'm fine, you carry on." "[kelvin] "every feeling of displeasure..."" "Can I help you, mr." "Smith?" "Wrong!" "I'm sorry?" "On the board." "Wrong." "Wrong!" "Oh, no, no, no." "No." "You don't do this." "You are the caretaker, this is not what you do." " Just taking care!" " Not your area." "Jane austen wrote pride and prejudice in 1796." "This is mr." "Smith, the temporary caretaker," "And he's a bit confused." "Not in 1797, because she didn't have the time, she was so busy..." "Oh, I suppose she was your bezzie mate, was she?" "And you went on holidays together" "And then you got kidnapped by boggons from space," "And then you all formed a band and met buddy holly!" "No." "I read the book." "There's a bio at the back." " Get down." " [students snickering]" " Boggons?" " Go!" "[period bell rings]" "Right, that's it." "Well done, kelvin." "Get going." "See you all in a couple days." "Thank you very much!" "What about our homework?" "Who asks for homework?" "Amateur!" " Miss oswald." " Oh, hello tobias, can't really stop." "I'm on the football team against durrants on Thursday." "Sorry, but can I go early from english Thursday afternoon?" "Tobias, you can do whatever you want." "Clara, can I have a quick word?" " Actually, I..." " Two weeks Saturday, the fete," "Can I put you down for the tombola and the raffle?" "James h." "Can't cover it now, his wife's going into hospital." "Hip replacement..." "It's constant agony." "Great!" "No, awful." "Terrible." "Awful." "I hope she'll be ok." "I'll do anything." "Anything!" "Ok." "Bye." "Miss oswald, katie sharps says I pulled her hair in biology." "Courtney, you are big enough to look after yourself." "Next class." "Jog on." "I need to talk to mr." "Pink." "Ozzie loves the squaddie!" " What was that?" " Nothing." "[adrian] of course, danny pink here is your man, mr." "Smith." "Five years military experience, sergeant, here and afghan," "So electrics, boilers." "If you need a hand give him a shout." "I've helped atif with a couple of things, yes." "[doctor] I'm sure I won't be needing you, sergeant," "Fully qualified." " [zapping] - you best get back to your p.E. Class." "I teach maths." "[doctor] do you?" "What, in emergencies?" " No, I'm a maths teacher." " Yeah, he's a maths teacher." "Mohammed, put that down!" "[doctor] how does that work?" "What if the kids have questions?" " About what?" " Maths." "I answer them." "I'm a maths teacher." "But he said you were a soldier." "Yeah." "I was a soldier, now I'm a maths teacher." "[doctor] but what about all the p.E.?" "I don't teach p.E. I'm not a p.E. Teacher." "Sorry, that seems very unlikely." "[clears throat]" "Excuse me, mr." "Pink, I think class 9m4 are waiting." "Yes, you'd better run along, sergeant." "That ball isn't gonna kick itself, is it?" "I'm not a p.E. Teacher, I'm a maths teacher." "Nope, sorry." "No, I can't retain that." "I've tried, it's just not going in." "So." "Pink..." "That name remind you anything?" "Yeah." "The colour." "Colonel orson pink?" "The guy we met at the end of the universe." "Oh, yeah." "Ok, same name," "Doesn't look anything like him though." "Looks very like him." "Does he?" "I don't know." "Who remembers a p.E. Teacher?" "Ah, never mind." "What are you doing, what's in there?" "So, is he here then?" "Is who here?" "The one that you keep going on serious dates with?" "If he is, are you going to start talking" "Like a normal human being?" "I promise I won't." "I'm being nice." " Doctor!" " [adrian] clara!" " Got this period free, yes?" " No." "Yes." " Great!" "Shakespeare!" " Sorry, what, adrian?" "Oh, I see." "You see what?" "Nothing." "Nothing at all." "Excuse me." "We have to talk about the tempest." "In light of the changes to the sixth form shakespeare module, blah-de-blah..." "Yes." "Sorry, of course." "Yes." "Yes..." "No." "Of course, of course, yes." "Don't mind this old man." "You two kids just pop off together." "Why are you talking like an idiot?" "I'm a caretaker, don't mind me." "[both chuckle]" "What we have to get across," "I feel, is that fascinating enigma of its not-finishedness." "Mmm, yes, good point, ade." "Oh, clara." "[beeping]" "[whispers] what does that mean?" "Kids." "What's the matter with kids today?" " [beeping] - [boy] shoot!" "Yes!" "Hey, I said you could play chess," "I did not say you could play football on the chess board!" "Jack, morgan, come on." "Help me out." "Clear it up." "[whistling another brick in the wall melody]" "One for luck." "[electronic beeping]" "Ok, now we're in business." " Let's se the lie of the land." " [electronic whirring]" "Time to see what's going on." "Hello?" "Oi!" "What are you doing?" "Are you in there?" "[doctor] mirror, mirror, on the wall," "Who's the most dangerous one of all?" "There's been a spillage in geography." "I need some paper towels." " Can't you read?" " Course I can read." "Read what?" "The door." "It says "keep out."" "No, it says "go away humans."" "Oh, so it does." "Never lose your temper" "In the middle of a door sign." "What was you doing in there?" " What's that box?" " A caretaker's box." "Every caretaker has their own box." "It says "police."" "Exactly, there's a policeman in there" "In case of emergencies and children." "Towels, there, g-g-go." "What was that green glow?" "There was a green glow coming from in there." "What was it?" "Of course there was." "What's a policeman without a death ray?" "[period bell rings]" "Oh, listen." "There's the bell." "Off you go." "Haven't you got shoplifting to go do?" "I'm going to tell the headmaster." "Oh, yes, fine." "Cut along, you're running out of time." " For what?" " Everything." "Human beings have incredibly short life spans." "Frankly, you should all be in a permanent state of panic." "Tick tock, tick tock!" " You're weird." " Yes, I am." "What about you?" "I'm a disruptive influence." "Good to meet you." "And you." "Now get lost." "Ok." "Hello, miss, love to the squaddie." "Sorry, what did you say?" "[door opens, closes]" "What's she doing here?" "Paper towels." "Now, I imagine you have many questions." "Fire away." "I won't answer any of them." " What were they like?" " What were who like?" "The others before me." "Did they let you get away with this kind of thing?" "This school is in danger." "Well, it's lucky I'm here then." " From you." " Me?" "You wouldn't be here if there wasn't an alien threat nearby." "Your strategy for dealing with it" "Involves endangering this school." " You don't know that." " I don't know anything" "Because you haven't told me anything." "Which means I wouldn't approve, which means you're endangering this school." "[electronic whirring]" "What's that?" "It's a scanner, I'm scanning." "Why do I keep you around?" "Because the alternative would be developing" "A conscience of your own." "Scanning for what?" "[doctor] any alien technology in this vicinity should show up." "I used to have a teacher exactly like you." "You still do." "Pay attention." "What the hell is it?" "A skovox blitzer, one of the deadliest killing machines ever created." "Probably homed in here because of artron emissions." "You've had enough of them in this area over the years." "There's enough explosive in its armoury to take out the whole planet." "Then leave it alone." "Sooner or later, it will creep from its hidey-hole," "And some military idiot will try to attack it." "[whirring]" "The world is full of p.E. Teachers." "So, your insanely dangerous plan is?" "A new watch?" "Tiny bit disappointed." "This is a very special watch." "Doctor?" "Oi!" "Ow!" "Did you flick my nose?" "You're invisible!" "[laughs]" "Oh my god!" "That's incredible!" "[doctor] correct." "I am invisible and I am incredible." "It's simply a matter of reversing light waves." " Hang on, I'm coming back." " All right." "Where are you?" "Whoo!" "[giggles]" "So I give the blitzer a tiny whiff" "Of non-threatening alien tech, I lead it back here," "But I don't want it to scan me." "Hence, invisible." "So, you're leading the thing here?" " To a school?" "My school?" " "my school"?" "Oh, that is telling." "This is the only suitably empty place in this area." "I've set up a circle of time mines round the school." "Chronodyne generators." " [squeals] - a bit unstable." "I switch them on, the blitzer gets sucked" "Into a big old time vortex, billions of years into the future." "Dead easy." "Tiny bit boring." "I'll need a book and a sandwich." "And me." "You're not doing this alone." "I don't need you this time." "I'll see you tomorrow." "We'll go somewhere nice." "Ancient egypt!" "Crocodilopolis!" "They worship a big crocodile there," "So the name is a useful coincidence." "Go and canoodle with your boyfriend." "Come on." "I wasn't born yesterday, far from it." "You did recognise him?" "Possibly reminded me of a certain..." "Dashing young time traveller." "Of course you recognised him." "I..." "Sorry." "Stupid." "I underestimated you." "It's easily done." "It's a lot to estimate." "And you..." "You like him?" "Yes, I like him." "Very, very much." "Go home and canoodle!" "Doctor's orders." " Come on." " [exhales]" "Just this once, I'm doing what I'm told." "Sing hosanna!" "[chuckles] [clara] so easy." "[door closes]" "Miss oswald." "Ah, mr." "Pink!" "Still on for tonight?" "'cause you had your "I'm about to cancel" frown on." "There's a specific frown?" "And I was going to say," "It's ok, I might have a thing, so..." "A thing?" "[stammers]" "Tomorrow instead?" "Tomorrow's parent's evening." "Not all evening." "No." "Not all evening." "What do you think of him?" "Who?" "The caretaker?" "Where did he come from, what was he before?" "He doesn't seem like a caretaker." "Well, he speaks very highly of you." "Anyway." "Good night, miss oswald." "Good night, mr." "Pink." "[electronic whirring]" "And we're off!" "[beeping] [whirring continues]" "[beeping winds down]" "Home sweet home." "[beeps]" "Canoodling cancelled, if you need a hand... [creaking]" "Doctor?" "You invisible?" "I am so going to confiscate that watch." "[doctor] where are you, you sleeping beauty?" "Gotcha!" "Let's dance!" "[whirs]" "Doctor?" "Where are you?" "Hello?" "[beeping] [skovox] nine-stop-query-rescan." "Target reacquired." "Success." "Success." "[doctor] come on, come on, come on!" "Gangway!" "Not far now." "Come on!" "Nine-stop--parsing-data-pursue." "[doctor] bingo." " Target reacquired." " [beeping]" "Hello?" "[beeping]" "What?" "[mutters] red?" "Red!" "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no." " [door slams open] - range-one-point-four-nine-scan" "Complete-problem-problem." "Listen!" "I'm unarmed." "I'm peaceful." "Do you understand?" " [whirs]" " I know that you shouldn't be on this planet." "But I can help you with that." "Problem." "Solution." "Destroy." " I want a word with you." " Problem-solution!" " Get back!" " Destroy." "[beeping rapidly]" "No!" "Get away from me!" "[grunts]" "Temporal disrupt." "Warning." "Warning." "Temporal failure." " [grunting] - no, no, no!" "Doctor, stop!" "Doctor!" "[skovox] warning." "System failure." "Abort." "Abort." "[grunting] [all gasping]" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Well done, p.E.!" "Brilliant work!" "What's this?" "A chronodyne generator?" "I'll just deactivate that, shall I?" "I've got a swimming certificate." "So that qualifies me to meddle with higher technology." "Never mind that some people are actually trying" "To save the planet." "Oh, no!" "There's only room in head for cross country" "And the offside rule." "Danny, what are you doing here?" "I was checking up on him." "He's been up to something," "Fiddling with the electric, but what the..." "No." "What..." "Did you see that thing?" "Tell me you saw that thing!" "I saw the thing, yeah." "Doctor, are we safe?" "Is the planet safe?" "It's gone?" "Yes, yes, yes, yes." "For the moment." "But the thing is, you see, the chronodyne generators" "Have to be precisely aligned to generate the vortex." "But the sergeant here, he went and moved one!" "Yeah, but the chronodyne worked." "It's gone." "[sighs]" "But not far enough." "The vortex will open here again," "But not in a billion years." "Then when?" "Ah, 74 hours." "Three days." "Three days to think of something new" "Because now it knows what to expect." "Now it has scanned me" "And it will kill me on sight, thanks to p.E. Here!" "Clara, why are you talking to him like that?" "Why are you using words like "chronodyne"?" "Was that thing a space thing?" "Oh my god, you're from space." "You're a space woman." "You said you were from blackpool." "It's a play!" " For the summer fete!" " It's a what?" "Yes!" "It's a play!" "Shut up." "It is a play." "We are rehearsing a play." "Shh, shh, shh!" "Shh, shh!" "A surprise play!" "And, um, you see the vortex thing is..." "Is a lighting effect." "Very clever." "And that thing, it's one of the kids." "In fancy dress." "[laughs]" "Really, really good fancy dress." "How stupid do you think I am?" "I'm willing to put a number on it." "I'm not a moron, clara." "And he's not the caretaker." "He's..." "Your dad!" "Your space dad." "Oh, genius." "That is really, really brilliant reasoning!" "How can you think that I'm her dad" "When we both look exactly the same age?" "We do not look the same age." "I was being kind." "Wait, I'm gonna hypnotise him." " I'm going to erase his memory." " Doctor, stop!" "Tiny little brain, only take a moment." "He's my boyfriend." "Well, I'll try not to erase the whole thing..." "He's my boyfriend!" "I thought you'd figured this out." " Him?" " Yes, him." " No, he's not." " Yes, he is." "Yes, I am." "But he's a p.E. Teacher." "You wouldn't go out with a teacher." "It's a mistake." "You have made a boyfriend error!" "I am not a p.E. Teacher!" "I am a math teacher!" "You're a soldier!" "Why would you go out with a soldier?" "Why not get a dog, or a big plant?" "Because I love him!" "Why would you say that?" "Is this part of the surprise play?" "[groans] there is no surprise play." "Oh!" "It's a roller coaster with you tonight, isn't it?" "What about the handsome one, the one with the bow tie?" "Adrian?" "No, no, no." "He's just a friend." "And not my type." "Clara, are you gonna explain any of this?" "Who is this guy?" "[laughs] the doctor is..." "Go on." "Yes." "Explain." "Who is he?" "Why have you never mentioned him?" "Because..." "He's an alien." " Are you an alien?" " No, no, no." "I'm still from blackpool." "Me and the doctor, we travel through time and space... [doctor] exhibit a!" "[clara] it's called a tardis," "But it's disguised as an old police phone box." " What else?" " It's bigger on the inside." "And it's bigger on the inside" "Than the outside." "Voilà!" "And we travel the universe in it." "And what about that thing?" "Did you bring it here?" "No, I'm going to protect you from that "thing."" "You said it was coming back." "Yes, it is coming back." "Thanks to you." "This is a school!" "We have to evacuate, call the army." "And that is the most dangerous thing right there!" "You're sure hypnotizing is not on the menu?" "Yes!" "We need to get help." "This is an emergency." "Look." "Take him away." "Shut him up, shut him down," "Up or down, doesn't matter to me." "I've got a lot of work to do." "Again!" " Will you be ok?" " Why wouldn't I be ok?" "I was fine till you two blundered in." "Am I just being ignored?" "Come on, danny." "It's all right, it's all fine." "You'll be ok." "Let's get those legs moving." "That's it, down the stairs." "Yep, that's it." "This can all be explained and everything will be fine." "[doctor] and when this is all over, you can finish the job." "How do you mean?" "Well, you've explained me to him." "You haven't explained him to me." "[clara] what do you think?" "Say something." "So..." "There's an alien who used to look like adrian." "Then he turned into a scottish caretaker," "And every now and then, when I'm not looking," " You elope with him..." " I don't elope." " Do you love him?" " No." "Really had enough of the lies." "Not in that way." " What other way is there?" " You know what I mean." "I don't know what you mean." "I know what you tell me, which isn't always the truth." "Danny..." "Why do you do it?" "Why do you fly off in the box with him?" "The truth, please, just this once." "Because..." "It is amazing." "Because..." "I see wonders." "Ok." "What are you thinking?" "[chuckles]" "That's a good question." "It's funny, you only really know" "What someone thinks of you when you know" "What lies they've told you." "I mean, you say you've seen wonders." "You've seen amazing things" "And you kept them secret." "From me." "So what do you think of me, clara?" "Please tell me how I fix this." "I just want to know who you are." "You know who I am." "When you're with him." "When you're with the doctor." "[kids shouting, playing]" "Ok." "I think we've just about got enough time" "Before parents evening." "An invisibility watch?" "It's not even a ring." "Press the button on the side, you're invisible." "You'll see me with the doctor," "The other me." "The exactly-the-same other me." "Ok." "[watch beeps]" "Afternoon." "Thanks for keeping out of my way." "You haven't brought dave with you, I hope." "His name's danny." "And no I haven't." "I've..." "I explained it all to him." "He gets it, he took it all really well." "Pass me that synestic." "So when the blitzer comes back," "Are you going to catch it with that?" "It'll be a long and fiddly job." "It's going to take me at least 24 hours." "Even more if people talking to me, so do keep going." "So it comes back Thursday night, you're sure about that?" "'cause you said the chronodyne was unstable." "If you want someone to bother someone, go bother p.E." "He's a maths teacher." "That's a shame, I like maths." "Not a soldier." "Interesting." "What is?" "I'm bored." "Let's go somewhere fun, what do you say?" "Do you want to see the thames frozen over..." " [keys tapping]] - oh, those frost fairs!" "But you can't." "The skovox thing..." "It's a time machine." "We can get back straight away" "Like we always do on your dates." "Just make sure you don't get yourself a tan or anything" " Or lose a limb." " I don't think we should, not this time." "You've never said no before." "Not even in the middle of dinner." "Remember when you had to eat two meals in a row?" "I just think, with the school in danger..." " [beeps] - danny!" "Why are you..." "He already knows I'm here." "That's why he's talking like that." "He's being clever." "Now that you mention it, being a time lord," "I can feel a light shield aura when it's right next to me." "Oh-ho!" "Time lord!" "Might have known." "Might have known what?" "The accent's good, but you can always spot the aristocracy." "It's in the..." "The attitude." " Danny..." " Now, time lords," "Do you salute those?" " Definitely not." " Sir!" "And you do not call me sir." "As you wish, sir!" "Absolutely, sir!" "And you can get out of my tardis!" " Immediately, sir!" " Doctor, this is stupid!" "This is unfair!" "One thing, clara." "I'm a soldier." "Guilty as charged." "You see him?" "He's an officer." "I am not an officer!" "I'm the one who carries you out of the fire." " He's the one who lights it." " Out!" "Now!" " Right away, sir?" "Straight now?" " Yes!" " Am I dismissed?" " Yes!" "You are!" "That's him." "Look at him right now." "That's who he is." "On balance, I think that went quite well." "Danny!" "It's not time to go home yet!" "Parents evening!" "Humans." "I never learn." "What's in the box?" "It's not really a policeman, is it?" "You wanna know what's in that box?" "I'll tell you what's in that box!" "It's a time machine!" "It also travels in space!" "And it usually contains a man" "Who just wants to get on with his work" "Of preventing the end of the world," "But keeps being interrupted by boring little humans!" "Cool!" "So, that's really a spaceship?" "I'm serious, I'm trying to save this planet." "End of the world for me tonight, whatever you do." " Parents evening." " Is your name really disruptive influence?" "Courtney woods." "Can I go in space?" "I'll let you know, I may have a vacancy." "But not right now." " [door opens, closes] - two days." "I can do it." "[armitage] right, are we quorate?" "Time to admit the hordes!" "And look who's at the front of the queue." " Who are they?" " Courtney woods's mum and dad." " Can someone else do them first?" " No problem, ade." "I can cope with anything tonight." "Oh, happy days." "[whirs, beeps]" "[alarm beeping]" "No, no, no." "No!" "No, no, no, no, no!" "I would say yes, I'm afraid courtney is a disruptive influence." "Yeah, but last year you said" "She was a very disruptive influence." "So I suppose that counts as an improvement." "[danny clears throat loudly]" "Excuse me, I think the caretaker wants me..." "Mrs. Christodolou, I think the caretaker wants me too." "What about my angelina?" "Yeah, she's great, yeah, really great girl," ""a+," ten out of ten, top of the class!" "Sorry." "Although, actually, handwriting could be better." "I'm sure they'll be back in a moment." "Looks like our courtney was right about those two." " What's happening?" " Clara, the vortex is opening!" "But you said Thursday night!" "All right." "Hall, quick!" "P.E., shut up!" "Clara, it'll scan the area, if it gets to parents evening" "It'll kill them all!" " We've got to evacuate!" " Shut up!" "Quickly." "What do I do?" "It'll be here any second." "Get to the hall!" "Give it some squirts of helicon energy," "Setting number 41." "No more than three seconds each, random pulses." "That'll distract it, then you lead it away" "From the hall, give me two minutes!" " Then what?" " Just run straight to the target." "But your gadget isn't ready yet!" "Twenty-four hours, you said!" "Yes, well, I've revised that down to two minutes." " Probably!" "Clara, go!" " On my way!" "You're using her like a decoy!" "No, not like a decoy." "As a decoy!" "Don't they teach you anything at stupid school?" "Well, is there anything I can do?" "Yes." "Yes, and this is very important." "Leave us alone!" "[skovox] disrupt-temporal lock, disengaged-scan." " Here we go!" " [electronic whirring] [skovox] incoming stop identified." "Helicon." "Helicon." "Commence re-targeting." "Target acquired." "Destroy." "Target within range." "Problem." "Solution." "Destroy!" "Destroy!" "Destroy!" "Doctor, now!" "It's gotta be now!" "Twenty seconds!" "Destroy!" "Destroy!" "[whirring]" "Doctor!" "[screams]" " [doctor] am I green?" "!" "Am I green?" "!" " [clara] you're green!" "Stop!" "Skovox blitzer!" "Awaiting orders." "Superior-skovox- artificer-analyse." "Stop!" "Analyse!" "Stop!" "Superior recognised." "Pattern-one-one-0." "Orders." "Orders." "[whirring]" "Why's it listening to you?" "Listening to its superior." "This is a rough copy!" "It thinks I'm its general!" "Initiate-input!" "Commence shut down protocol." "No-conflict-conclusion!" "Problem, solution." " Conclusion..." " Final input code missing." "Emergency terminate." "Initiate self-destruct in..." " Nine..." "Eight..." " Of course, the final input code!" "I forgot the final input code." " [skovox] six, five..." " [clara] do it!" "Now!" "[doctor]I need time." "Distract it, clara!" "[clara] me, what can I do?" "[danny] oi, skovox!" "Over here!" "[beeps] [skovox] under attack." "Artificer!" "Artificer!" "Stop!" "Confirm!" "Override!" "Final input code!" "[skovox] code accepted." "Abort self destruct." "Orders accepted." "[winding down] stop..." "Stop..." "Stop." "[laughing] oh my god!" "You were amazing!" "Oh my god, that was so brilliant!" "Yeah, I was ok, wasn't I?" "[chuckles]" "I was behind you every step of the way." "Had to make sure you where safe." "You ok?" "Ok." "Just "ok"?" "[danny] it's all right, it's doesn't matter." "I don't need him to like me." "It doesn't matter if he likes me or hates me." "I just need to do exactly one thing for you." "Doctor..." "Am I right?" "Yes." "What..." "What one thing?" "I have to be good enough for you." "That's why he's angry." "Just in case I'm not." "He..." "He did just save the whole world." "Yeah, yeah." "Good start." "[doctor] farewell, skovox blitzer!" "Have a nice war!" "So, courtney woods, impressed yet?" "Actually, I'm feeling a bit ill." "It can be a bit overwhelming," "But look!" "The olveron cluster." "A million stars, a hundred million inhabited planets." "[retching]" "Ah." "Yes." "There has been a spillage." "So, what do you think of him now?" " Of the doctor?" " Yeah!" "See, he's all right, isn't he, really?" "Underneath it all." "Ok." "Tell me what you're thinking." "I know men like him." "I've served under them." "They push you and make you stronger" "Till you're doing things you never thought you could." "I saw you tonight, you did exactly what he told you." "You weren't even scared." "And you should have been." "I trust him." "He's never let me down." "Fine." "If he ever pushes you too far, I want you to tell me," "Because I know what that's like." "You'll tell me if that happens, yeah?" "Yeah." "It's a deal." " No." "It's a promise." " Ok." "I promise." "And if you break that promise, clara, we're finished." "Don't say that." "I'm saying it because..." "If you don't tell me the truth, I can't help you." "And I could never stand not being able to help you." "Are we clear?" "Yes." "We're clear." "[tv chattering]" "It was mad, it was like in a film, or on the telly." "Like with science fiction guns." "Skovox blitzer, sounds like." "We've had a few in from that." "I wouldn't feel too bad." "If I hadn't..." "If I hadn't..." "Hang on." " That doesn't make sense." " Makes perfect sense to me." "How did I escape?" "I don't remember how I got away." "Well, I was coming to that." "I'm afraid you really, rather didn't." "Then how did I get here?" " Well." "Big question." " Where am I?" "What name would you like?" "There's a range." "The afterlife." "The promised land." "I'm partial to nethersphere." "My god." "Sorry, she's a bit busy today." "So..." "Any questions?" "[clara] hello, earth." "We have a terrible decision to make." "An innocent life versus the future of all mankind." "[doctor] whatever future humanity might have" "Depends upon the choice that is made right here, right now." " [screeching] - [man screaming] [beeping]" "Decision made." "[screeching] [theme music playing]"