"very much live and direct on Network 23." "Carter's the best-known reporter we have on the air." "He satellites globally." "Where does all this stuff come from, Brian?" "The components of Carter's mind." "M-Max" " M-Max." "People translate it as data." "It's computer generated whatever it is." "It looks like Edison." "Max." "Max Headroom." "Max?" "He's a computer-generated person based on you." "Two minds, but with one single memory." "Sector 7's densely populated." "[Man on radio] Metro-evac 10-D at sector" "[Edison] Control, camera check, please." "Coming up." "Camera feed, optimum." "[Edison] I can see smoke." "We're almost there." "[Theora] Live in 60 seconds." "Watch out for medevac choppers at the scene." "There's a lot of activity." "Side cams online getting pictures." "[Edison] The whole building's come down." "What's the official word on this?" "Central housing claims it was overcrowded." "Chopper 43 switch to Tac 2." "Over." "This is bad." "Let's get down there." "[Woman's voice] Metropolice request a fugitive crowd scan and plow on sector 7." "Repeat, Metropolice requests a fugitive crowd scan and plow on sector 7." "Ambulance chaser 21, we have three DOAs in pickup." "All John Does." "Repeat, ambulance chaser 21 we have three DOAs in pick-up." "All John Does." "[ambulance siren blaring]" "This is Edison Carter live and direct from sector 34 where a building has just collapsed." "Injured survivors are wandering dazed while rescuers dig frantically beneath the debris." "Give them something specific." "Okay, go straight ahead to the break in the wall about 100 yards." "Now into the next wing about 50 yards." "Straight ahead." "We have a rescue effort under way." "You're there." "The group directly in front." "I hear something." "[baby crying]" "Who's down there?" "[Woman] We think a little one." "How old?" "A year at most." "It's hers." "He's coming out." "It's a television set." "Control, I don't believe what I'm seeing here." "Yeah, well, stay with it." "It's incredible." "[Theora] What's wrong with those people?" "Look at this." "Why bother to save a television set?" "They're given to the needy." "Yeah, but look what's on them." "I don't believe it." "Every set is tuned to the same channel." "[laughter on TV]" "Lieutenant, let me give you a hand." "No, no, no." "Stay with the coverage." "[Woman] Surveillance, you have looters at 3:00." "Repeat, you have looters at 3:00." "No one can or should get used to events like this." "Shock and devastation can often cause victims to react in unpredictable ways." "In this case, we've seen behavior that makes me question our dependence on television." "Survivors risking their lives to rescue TV sets." "People crawling from the rubble" "No field reporter covers a real-time disaster like Carter." "Then why are local ratings falling?" "Who's taking our local viewers?" "Big-Time Television?" "I want to see what they're transmitting." "Are viewers seeing this trash in Carter's telecast and then switching to it?" "This is no coincidence." "The trend is devastating." "How does this affect the global ratings?" "Global viewers can't receive the signal, thank goodness." "But if they were able to, the results would be disastrous." "If our advertisers extrapolate this trend, it could cause a negative run for the networks." "Murray, get Carter off the air." "Go to studio coverage." "Sir, he's first on the scene." "We have the exclusive on this." "Go to studio, Murray." "That's an executive order." "Yes, sir." "Ours is not to reason why." "Cue standby anchorman on my mark." "And go." "Well, let's get some comment" "[Theora] Such a twit." "They won't do any real coverage." "[Edison] Let's go over to the effective sector." "Word play there." "And see if we can get a hold of our local scumballer" "[Theora] Shameful." "Edison's going to" "Control, I'm offline." "We're going with studio coverage." "On whose orders?" "On Cheviot." "Now, look, I want you to stay off air, but on the story." "I'm going to find out what's going on." "I'm sorry." "It's a no-choice option." "Lieutenant." "Could you spare a comment?" "Please?" "Strictly off the record, it's damn weird." "How come you're not live and direct?" "Oh, I got pulled off the air." "Executive override." "Anything like that ever happen before, Edison?" "Lieutenant, when you get conversational, I get chills." "What's up?" "I've seen the look on these faces before." "Don't tell me you haven't noticed." "Don't stop now." "Confession's good for the soul." "You know about those?" "Souls?" "Even old lieutenants have them." "So..." "Aw, come on, Rico." "You owe me." "If for nothing else, then not shooting your bad side." "Who's not to say you have a good side?" "Ah, right." "Strictly off the record." "It was a lawsuit about two years ago." "Some kid went nuts watching a network promo." "I'll check it out and let you know if it means anything." "Inferior product in every respect." "So bad I can't take my eyes off it." "[computer beeps]" "Get rolling analysis." "Isolate the appeal factor." "I want a Network 23 version of that show ready in one hour." "[Haskel] Go baby." "Go, baby, go." "We're going to pass PBS." "Keep your voice down." "I'm enjoying myself, Biller." "It's only a local test." "The ratings may not extrapolate big enough to sell it." "That's was Whackets, the show that goes over nobody's head." "We keep getting calls for it, so we'll play it again." "For the 11th time straight." "Well, I'd say that this proves we can make them watch any show, even Whackets." "You proved that at Network 52, and it damn near sent you to jail." "Yeah, but this time we're going to do it right." "We prove the system works, we sell out, and we blow." "And let the buyer beware." "[Whackets theme]" "It does seem to be trending up fast." "But it's only risen to 15.04% of a very localized market." "Nevertheless, it is phenomenal." "Extrapolate those figures globally and it would be a ratings landslide." "Yes, show them you've got to keep your eye on the big picture." "Every drop in the bucket, stitches in time, you know, an apple a" "Well, it's a terrible show." "Appalling." "Precisely." "That is why it's all so fascinating." "Why is it getting these ratings?" "Business affairs and acquisitions chief negotiator." "Oh, yes, Mr. Grossberg." "Locate Big-Time Television." "Investigate." "With a view toward acquiring its Whackets program." "Yes, sir." "No, no, I'm right outside the Hall of Records building." "[buzzer sounds]" "Case file Ziskin ID, confirmed access." "Show me case 144-905." "Warzak, Donald." "Video delinquency." "Parents attempted to sue Network 52 claiming child became so entranced with one of their commercials..." "Copy this report into my unit." "Case dismissed under creative immunity granted broadcasters." "No, you don't have a story." "Come on, Murray." "Wake up." "They were all watching it." "I'll think of something." "Can't you smell it?" "I can sense it." "I can't smell it." "Well, I accessed the rolling census figures." "People have been pouring into the area all morning." "They even increased after the building collapsed." "You know, some of the survivors actually sat down in the middle of it all and watched Whackets." "There you go." "What more do you want?" "There's a nice irony in that." "In a crisis, they watch a game show." "Television before life." "And what about m-m-my life as I know it?" "I was dumped-d-d for some pre-pre-prerecorded ninny trying to win a tra-trash compa-pa-pactor." "Come here." "Message from Lieutenant Ziskin." "He wants you to meet him at the Producers' Clearinghouse right now." "Ziskin calls you." "Now I smell it." "Go." "Haskel and Biller." "Yeah?" "You don't get in there without a warrant." "I'm comfortable right here." "You used to be in sales at Network 52." "Can you tell me why you got fired?" "No, not really." "You produced one hell of a good commercial." "Maybe too good." "People who watched it got a little strange." "There are some funny people around." "Most of them now are watching a show called Whackets." "Mean anything to you, Haskel?" "No, it doesn't." "What is it?" "You know damn well." "Let me refresh your memory." "Yeah, well, I'm not going to be able to see it on that little thing." "Why don't you come in here?" "We'll put it up here on the monitor." "Come on." "He's zonked." "We got him." "Come on." "Just be calm, Biller." "Going to want to keep him quiet for good." "Don't do anything illegal." "Oh, sure." "Check to see if Ziskin's left Metro yet." "I already did." "He should be there by now." "I'll key up his police medical file code." "They monitor the officers' medical condition with implanted transmitters." "We'll be able to pinpoint him, home in on a signal." "Well, I can't teach this old dog any new tricks." "Progressively old puppy." "Okay, Edison, I've got Ziskin's status online." "I'm tracing his location now." "Accessing building now." "He's there." "I'm tracing him." "Edison, his heart." "Everything just stopped." "All his life signs are gone." "Well, find him." "Get me to him." "He may still be alive." "[Edison] Come on, control." "Get me to Ziskin." "Tracing his location now, Edison." "I don't think he's going to be of much use to you." "[Theora] He's in the basement freight elevator shaft." "Use the stairwell to your right." "The signal's breaking up." "[Edison] Keep on it." "[Murray] Edison, watch yourself." "Infrared shows two people heading toward you." "It's okay." "They're Metros." "Come on, let's go." "[Theora] Down the heating tunnel and through the fire door." "We have new sign of life, Edison." "How could it happen?" "Ziskin was too sharp." "You're there." "Bottom of the elevator shaft." "Oh, no." "Looks like we're too late." "Yeah, about 15 stories too late." "Yeah, call it in." "Ziskin dead at the scene." "Right." "This is Big-Time Television, and I say it's time for some vintage Sex Pistols music videos, hey?" "[people groaning]" "All right, but first, the show that makes winners losers" " Whackets." "Again." "[people cheering]" "Dom, have you taken a look at this?" "I don't get it." "I don't know why anybody watches it." "I'm sure that is what this test is all about." "It's called market research, Reg." "Oh, Lord, the man from 66 is here." "Could you look less untidy?" "Dom, I don't like the idea of them knowing where we are." "Agh, we executives have to meet in order to do business." "Executives?" "Suits looking for jobs." "Look at you." "Blimey." "Visual aids are standard tools in sales meetings." "Just so he doesn't get confused about what you're selling." "How do you do?" "I'm from Network 66." "Of course you are." "Please come in." "[Edison] Ready to roll, Control." "You are live and direct." "This is Edison Carter live and direct on Network 23." "This is the body of Lieutenant Rico Ziskin, an experienced Metrocop." "What I want to know is" "Well, look, we don't want to insult you by bargaining for such a small show." "So here's the bottom line." "Network 66 will buy Whackets from Big-Time in exchange for a single payment equal to 1.2% of the adjusted ad revenue net gross after taxes, surtaxes, and excise taxes in installments over 36 months and amortized against all future network losses in perpetuity." "Yes, but will it be enough to make me happy?" "I wouldn't have thought it would take much." "Out." "Wh-What?" "Wait." "[Edison] Ziskin was a seasoned Metrocop." "A short while before he died, he asked me to meet him here." "He had something to tell me about the extraordinary events that took place at this morning's apartment collapse tragedy where people ignored victims and watched television." "Whatever he knew, Ziskin is now silent." "Or was he silenced?" "This is Edison Carter live... [chuckles] [laughing] and direct from" "I'm sorry, Control." "I don't know what happened." "Oh, I'm sorry." "[clears throat]" "I'm sorry." "Sorry." "Oh, forget it, Control." "Now will you pull the show off Big-Time?" "Carter's got nothing." "Carter has got the best track record in the business." "If he follows up on Big Time's test transmission, the trail will lead him right here." "The Big-Time people don't know anything." "They don't know what's on that Whackets tape." "So they won't hide anything." "Let's get that tape back and fast." "Where the hell are they?" "[chattering]" "Here comes Edison." "I don't know what to say." "[Murray] You know, I was recovering a chemical spill at a factory once." "The solvent, literally it dissolved some poor guy." "Well, it got to me." "So I'm on the air, and all of the sudden, this extra large pair of rubber overalls bobs to the surface." "[chuckles]" "Tension broke." "I laughed so hard, they had to pull me off the air." "Murray, I wasn't tense." "That's the weird part." "I felt good." "It felt euphoric." "Yeah, I made a fool of myself." "Don't worry, Edison." "I felt like laughing, too." "I've never known you to laugh at something that wasn't funny." "It wasn't." "I just couldn't help it." "I felt myself smiling." "It seemed involuntary." "Involuntary." "Maybe they all had no choice." "You must be able to trace them." "[Operator] I have no such listing." " Keep trying." "Call me." " Yes, sir, I will." "Better not be pulling something." "Edison, unless you have an irrational desire to be bisected at the waist, you'll alter course." "Uh, simple 5-watt argon laser fed back unto itself into infinity." "Could be used as a multi-dimensional information gathering probe." "Yeah, just a theory." "Right." "I need your help." "And I need it now." "In a minute, Edison." "Agh, okay." "Edison." "Theora, run the footage of my report and no audio, okay?" "Stand by." "Oh, and, Theora, don't look at it." "Please don't argue." "Just don't look at it, okay?" "All right." "Not a pretty sight, but keep your eyes on it." "How are you feeling?" "Excellent." "You?" "Okay, I think there's something in the picture that makes people feel good." "Can you find it?" "Sure." "So aside from the bandage, he has nothing to show, Mr. Grossberg?" "Big-Time Television has assaulted our situation ethics negotiator." "I take that to be their peasant equivalent of a refusal to sell." "Disgraceful." "And short-sighted." "However, one hit does not a network make." "Too bad." "I was really beginning to enjoy the silly thing." "More to the point, the viewers enjoy it." "I want that show." "I will have that show." "Book a table for two at the Top Table Restaurant." "I think I'll take care of this personally." "Okay, now we'll be looking for some kind of submerged signal or image." "However, the mirror reverses that submerged signal and should render it ineffective." "Well, why would my pictures affect me like that?" "And Theora, too." "And the cops, they weren't affected at all." "Uh, well, that's 'cause they weren't watching the pictures." "Oh." "Man, that's too small to see what's on it." "Not really." "I can cut a picture and draw it up close." "Ta-da." "Ta-da what?" "That is an optically-active hexadecimal display." "Generated in depth." "It's very fascinating." "It's a trigger of sorts." "When it moves along the optic nerve, it tells the brain to release endorphins." "A series of natural drugs produced for countering pain or experiencing intense pleasure." "How strong?" "Uh, very." "This one looks like it could be addictive." "In intensive doses." "Could the amount in Ziskin's wrist unit have been effective?" "Yeah." "And remember the look on this face." "Theora, run the footage I shot this morning." "Can I open my eyes now?" "It's dark in here." "Look at these faces." "They're just like Ziskin's." "Theora, run the live feed of the Whackets show." "Could that be hidden in that?" "Most definitely." "Well, is it?" "I got this from highly placed sources." "It's a government search and seizure program." "It's designed to locate illegal video substances." "Yes, siree, it's definitely in there." "Viewers can't see it the way we can, but it is quite strong." "Out of sight, but not out of mind." "Aw" " Aw, I c-caught you watching the competi-ti-tion." "Competition." "Naughty-naughty." "Max, it's a lot more than competition, okay?" "What's the ju-ju-junk all over it?" "I want to see the show." "Hey, hey, I love feel-- feel-- f-feel-good programming." "This is a great show." "Long may it run." "Yes." "Y-Yes." "Yes, look-- look at that hostess st-st-stroking the prizes." "She's a f-f-fantastic actress, that girl." "How can he be affected?" "He hasn't got endorphins." "Max is videoactive." "An electro morph, it affects him directly." "Bryce, what is going on?" "What's he doing?" "No idea." "No, no, no, no, put it back on-- on-- on." "I want to know who won the sh-sh-shoe horn." "How can I concentrate on anything else when I don't know who wound up with the shoe horn?" "I want to see which guy that girl ended up with." "She said she didn't like water or-- or-- or hairy men." "And I know" " I just kn-know she's going to pick bachelor number 3." "The one with the beard who's got his own bo-bo-boat." "Put it back on!" "We may have a problem." "Max seems to have become hexadecimal dependent." "That fast?" "The pure form will be instantaneously addictive." "Hidden in the show, it'll take a little longer depending on one's mental vitality." "Or lack of it." "Bryce, people have been watching Whackets all day and still are." "Theora, what's the source of that show?" "Edison, it's Big-Time Television." "They've been repeating it all day." "Reg and Dominique." "Theora, locate them." "We got to stop them." "[Woman announcer] Network 23 hosts the Scumball quarter-finals live tonight." "Higher!" "Hi-Hi-Higher!" "Spin the wheel." "[laughs]" "No, no, no, pick him." "Pi-Pick number 2." "No, no, no, no." "Lo-Lo-Lower." "Come on." "It's pis-pis-pistachio she likes." "No, no, there were ten Commandments, you f-f-fool." "Max, what are you doing?" "Mak-Making my very own co-copy so I can watch it anytime I want." "Not on my equipment, you're not." "Aw, come on." "It's a classic." "The only show in the world that gets better the more it's re-re-rerun." "I'm not going to try it." "And if you were a friend, you wouldn't force me." "What a grouch." "Hey, I'd be a winner on that show." "As-As-As-Ask me a question." "Go ahead." "Go ahead." "Any category." "Sorry, Max." "I need this screen." "And" " And I'm s-s-sorry we're out of time." "Bye." "Theora, locate Big-Time for me." "I've got to get over there right away." "They're still transmitting." "You haven't watched it, have you?" "No, I haven't, but Max keeps trying to make me." "Oh, there's nothing we can do for him right now." "This thing has to be stopped and fast." "If it gets beyond Big-Time, it could spread uncontrollably." "Adults, kids, everyone addicted to their screens." "The priority now is to get to Reg." "I can't believe he knows what this is." "Well, I'm just worried about Max and what he might do." "What do you mean, Big-Time Television has disappeared?" "No, I'll get back to you." "Those two-faced, double-dealing rats." "Well, that's it." "I told you." "It's over." "Years of work gone." "No." "No." "We can still sell it, Biller." "Look, Big-Time did its job." "The ratings prove the system works." "Now we all got to sell the system by the numbers." "I mean, all Big-Time's got is Whackets." "And they don't even know what's on it." "Forget the show." "That show is nothing." "Sell the system." "Fast." "I-I don't want much." "I just want to appear on the Whack-Whack-Whackets Show." "I want to win a honeymoon for one in Nebra-bra-braska." "Please." "[Whackets theme]" "I love the Whackets show." "I'd like a table near the television, please." "Certainly, sir." "Mr. Grossberg's table, please." "Hello, Mr. Grossberg?" "Yes." "Dominique, at last we meet." "Pleasure and a privilege." "And congratulations on Big-Time Television's current popularity." "Well, we do things right." "Sometimes." "Yes, indeed you do." "Perhaps Network 66 should consider using units such as yours in our ancillary markets." "I would value your opinion." "You'd have to be nuts." "I'd kill to get out of the 500-watt ghetto." "Yes, I need to speak to Mr. Grossberg, please." "Look" "Look." "I don't care what time it is." "I need you to trace him." "This is urgent." "We are running out of time, Haskel." "Well, Dominique, this, um" "This profoundly innovative concept of yours," "Whackets, is a stunning piece of programming chic." "Well, I suppose I really should watch it a few times, but it works." "That's all I care about." "Exactly." "I don't keep up with every program myself." "Business affairs has suggested we offer you greater distribution through our satellites." "Does this appeal?" "[scoffs]" "I thought you wanted to buy the thing." "It's the fastest rising show in town." "We could risk outright purchase," "But these things take time." "Mr. Grossberg, Television Topography reported that your salary breaks down to almost 8,000 creds an hour." "Really?" "I rarely calculate my salary." "I find it quite crude." "But time is money, as they say." "Yes, they do." "And your meter's running every second, so you want to talk business or not?" "Compliments don't match currency." "[Whackets theme]" "I don't know what you see in it, old pal?" "It's way below your taste." "[door opens]" "Gorblimey, you ought to be careful." "He'll have you, crashing in like that." "You're in trouble, Reg." "Oh, when wasn't I?" "How?" "You've been conned." "Whackets is a video narcotic." "Dominique, I've made my first, best, and last offer." "Take it or walk away." "Hmm." "My God, are these little things potatoes?" "At these prices?" "What is the problem?" "The problem is small potatoes." "You've got to put more on the plate than a fancy dinner, Mr. Grossberg." "Once I give you the only hit show I've got," "I'm out of business." "Well, what do you expect?" "A seat on the board?" "All I want for X-mas is to get my hands on Haskel and Biller." "One mitt on each ought to do it." "Reg, why aren't you hooked?" "I'm immune to all such things, my friend." "♪ [loud metal]" "As a youth, a certain amount of head banging and metal madness left my synapses so calloused, no mind-altering substance has a chance." "Shut it down, Reg." "Done." "[Man] Hey, where's Whackets?" "[Woman] Darling, where's Whackets?" "[screams]" "The show." "Very well, Dominique." "You've made your point and exactly as I, myself, would've done." "And beautifully timed I might add." "Well, it has been a delightful dinner, but duty calls." "You know how it is." "You are an admirably astute lady." "And a charming and effective adversary." "Are you going to sell me Whackets?" "Agh." "Don't worry, Ned." "I'll talk to Haskel and what's-his-name and get back to you." "My limousine is purring outside." "May I offer you a lift." "Oh, we might be seen." "Better to keep this meeting out of the trades." "Good idea." "[chuckles]" "Well then, goodbye." "Or shall I say au revoir?" "Ta-ta." "You got a side door, Charlie?" "Recorded the whole dinner, sir." "It looks like she took you for a free meal." "Nonsense." "That ridiculous woman gave me exactly what I needed." "Roll that last bit for me again." "Are you going to sell me Whackets, then?" "Agh, don't worry, Ned." "I'll talk to Haskel and what's-his-name and get back to you." "Of course, Whackets actually belongs to a man named Haskel." "He'll be an independent." "Find him." "Reg, what have you done?" "Oh, hello, Edison." "Reg, where's the show?" "I told him to shut it down, Dom." "You told Reg?" "I run Big-Time Television." "I make the decisions around here." "Get it back on." "No, Dom." "Listen, Dominique." "Please." " Edison, you have no" " Listen." "Just listen." "Please." "The reason people are still watching that drivel is because it's addictive." " Mister" " It's a video drug." "We've been had, Dom." "I'm sorry, old girl." "Oh, my God." "Well, is there no way to fix it?" "To clean it up?" "I have got a buyer." "We could be on our way to being number 1." "You can't broadcast it, Dom." "Deal or no deal." "...franchised any." "Max, where's the show?" "I want my Whack TV!" "You've got to do something." "I need that show." "It's all I've got." "[phone ringing]" " Reg here." " Hi, Reg." "Oh, hello, Theora." "Look, is Edison with you?" "It's Whackets." "Whackets has been pulled." "Everything's under control." "No, it hasn't Edison." "Look, I just got home." "Whackets is still on the air." "What?" "Who's broadcasting it?" "We are." "Network 23." "They sold it." "They sold my show." "What?" "Network 23." "This is perfect." "Don't you see?" "I see that Big-Time has made the mega-cred sale that you have been talking about." "Biller, Biller, what they've done is open up the markets for us." "All we have to do is take this to 23's competition, and they'll have to buy it just to stay in business." "We can name our own price, son." "Network 66." "They would kill to beat 23." "Well, shall you make the call or shall I?" "Oh, let's do it together." "[snoring]" "[phone rings]" "Cheviot." "What is it?" "Good grief." "What's that doing on Network 23?" "Um, I'm sorry to trouble you, sir, but Max Headroom is out of control." "He's so hooked on that show that he's programming it from a copy he's made." "Stole it?" "We're broadcasting unlicensed programming?" "Sponsored by Zik-Zak." "Get it off." "Oh, we can't." "To do that, we'd have to get Max off, and that's impossible." "Plus, he's locked Whackets into every market we have, and the ratings are rocketing up." "Well, at least it's a hit." "All right, we'll have to buy out Big-Time Television." "Thank you, Murray." "I'll handle this now." "Um, sir, there's more." "Oh, please." "It's spiked with an addictive substance which is why viewers crave it." "Carter's closing in on the story right now." "The World Broadcast Governing Body will yank our license within an hour unless we do something fast." "I'll be right there." " And, Murray" " Yes, sir." "Be ready to cease all broadcasting if we can't get it off the air." "[Woman] Mr. Grossberg, you have a call from a Mr. Haskel and a Mr. Biller at the Producers' Clearinghouse." "Such a small world tonight." "Gentlemen, let us not squander time." "I understand you've been seeking me, and coincidentally enough, I you." "If you are indeed the owners of the Whackets show." "Oh, yes, sir, we-- we are, but Whackets, apparently has been sold to Network 23." "The ratings have already surged dramatically, Mr. Grossberg." "Gentlemen, contracts were made to be broken." "I have a legion of attorneys that can extricate you from this deal." "And I will triple whatever 23 paid you." "I want Whackets." "I will have it." "The show is nothing, sir." "We are the inventors of something in Whackets." "Something that would fit on any program on 66." "You'll be able to compete on every show you have." "Talk to me." "[Theora] Bryce is working on an antidote to the drug." "But Max is the real problem." "He won't talk to anyone but you." "Yeah, what else is new?" "Hey, I've been th-th-thinking." "I-I-I could announce the prizes." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Hel-Hello?" "That's an impor-por-portant job." "Max, what prizes do we have on our show tonight?" "Well, Bob, tonight" "Max, take Whackets off the air." "Right now." "Why?" "It's just TV with a twist." "Artificially making viewers watch is immoral." "You must see that, Max." "Edison, you won't convince him." "He doesn't understand." "He thinks the world is television." "No, you don't understand." "If he's part me, he knows better." "If he's part you, he won't give up until he gets what he wants." "You're suddenly an expert on me, now?" "I try." "10 points for Theora." "[slurps]" "And it's time for F-F-Family Feud. [panting]" "I'll just check to see what's happening on Whackets" "Edison, you won't persuade him." "I mean, he just won't play ball." "Maybe he will play ball." "That's exactly what he'll do." "[Man] Okay, up." "We've got" "[Man #2] Sir, I urge the World Council of Broadcasters not to take action against our license." "We are voluntarily preparing a total network shutdown because we can't" "Don't tell them we can't even get the thing off our own boardroom screen." "Just explain that we're taking control." "I just realized something." "We have a zero rating, not one viewer." "I don't think I can take it." "Max, you and I must have a little talk." "Will it take long?" "Look, you say you want to be on the Whackets show, right?" "Well, you can." "Bryce will use a program interface, which programs into other programs, and he can put you live and direct on the Whackets show." "M-M-Me?" "Hum-Humble, modest, sh-shy little me on Whack-Whack-Whackets?" "Look, you say the show's great, right?" "So you ought to be able to enjoy it without the hexadecimal." "Bryce will put the antidote in as part of his program." "Right?" "Yeah, well, that is if Max is up to the challenge." "I'll go for it." "He's going to g-g-go for it, everybody." "Yay!" "Y-Yay!" "[Cheviot] We've reached a decision, then." "The facts are clear." "This network cannot continue to broadcast a harmful product." "It's morally unacceptable and professional suicide, so we must do what we must." "[machine beeps]" " Operating Systems room." " [Man] Yes, sir." "Are you prepared to shut down?" "[Woman] Cheviot, wait." "Carter's on line six." "I've made a deal with Max." "He's going to appear on the Whackets show." "What?" "But why?" "To what purpose, Carter?" "Bryce has loaded an antidote equation into Max's program, and he's going to be broadcasting that while he's on." "We'd be broadcasting Whackets, Max, and the antidote all at once." "The rating meter will melt in confusion." "We have no choice and no time." " Try it." "Do it. - [beeps]" "[Man] Yay, Whackets is back." "[Woman mutters]" "[Man] Nah, he's not dumb." "[Woman] Quiet!" " I bet he misses the cushion." " Who cares?" " Hey, it's Max." " Hi!" "It's me-me-me!" "Oh, come on, Theora." "I need Whack-Whack-Whackets." "L-L-Let's have some more Whackets!" "[Edwards] Ratings are dropping." "[Cheviot] I'll uncover the screen." " Carter was right." " It worked." "Two-way sampler shows us falling off in all markets." " Oh!" " Yes!" " Thank God." " We're shot down." " I like that." " I never thought the day would come when I'd be glad to see our ratings drop." "[chuckling]" " That's all right." " What a relief." "Uh" " Uh" "Max, I don't know how to tell you this, but the audience hates Whackets." "Nobody's watching it." "Nobody?" "No-Nobody wa-watching?" "Get me off-f-f." "Whew." "What's the matter?" "Didn't you enjoy being a ninny trying to win a trash compactor?" "[scoff-scoff]" "Yeah." "It was the thrill of a lifetime." "Why?" "With the hexadecimal inoperative, the show's unwatchable, Max." "Exac-xac-x-xactly!" "As I suspected all along, no-o-othing special about it at all." "Uh, deliver my prizes to my summer house, will you?" "Thank you." "And deliver my audience to me." "Ha ha!" "I feel a broad-broad-broadcast coming on." "Ha ha!" "T-T-T-TV!" "My world, my empire, my voice-ce!" "Your pleasure." "[Edison] Today, the term "addicted to TV"" "took on a new and sinister meaning as the prospect of global video addiction became a frightening reality." "For the past several hours," "Unsuspecting viewers here and around the globe were victims of a pair of ex-network programmers who attempted to market an addictive video drug hidden in a game show called Whackets." "Police are arresting Haskel and Biller at this moment." "As for the public exposed to the drug, all harmful effects have been negated, thanks to a Network 23 antidote." "Closed-Captioned By J.R. Media Services, Inc." "Burbank, CA"