"In the Great Gold Rush, Alaska was the hope and dream of wayworn men... the ruthless siren of the Far North, beckoning thousands to her icy bosom... beckoning thousands to her unknown regions." "The Chilkoot Pass was the great barrier to the gold fields." "Over this pass, men faced untold misery and hardship." "Many lost their lives." "Some fell exhausted by the wayside." "Others lost courage and turned back." "But the brave went on." "Far into the icy north, deep into the silent nowhere... came an undaunted lone prospector." "And somewhere in that nowhere was another lone prospector." "With cheerful optimism, our little Columbus descended... into the vast uncharted waste, then stopped... stepped, slipped, and slid." ""Now, let me see," thought the Little Fellow." ""Before I know where I am, I must get there."" "There in that frozen wilderness a dream came true... and a lone voice shrieked into the solemn sky:" ""Eureka!" "I've found it!" "A mountain of gold!"" "But the elements laughed, roared, and thundered." "And in that raging nowhere was a lone cabin... and another lone man, Black Larsen... an unmitigated predatory scoundrel." "And out of the lashing storm into the moaning shack came the Little Fellow... to find shelter and perhaps a little hospitality." "And there he sat, resting his weary bones... as the icy wind howled through the knothole." ""Come here," said Larsen." ""What are you doing?"" ""Eating, obviously," said the Little Fellow." ""Get out." "Get out!" "Get out." "Get out!" "Go on." "Go on." "Get out." "And the wind also was giving Big Jim his troubles." "Big Jim was the noble type." "He had suffered." "Oh, how he loved to suffer." "He suffered about everything." ""Get out." "Get out," said Black Larsen... or I'll fill you both full of lead."" ""Now, then, the pair of ya, get out." "Out!"" "That kind of noise Jim don't tolerate." ""I'll stay right here." "Understand?" "Right here," said Big Jim." ""Yes, sir." "He'll stay right here," said the Little Fellow." ""Understand?" "We stay right here."" "And stay they did for days and nights, and the cabin moaned and groaned." "And two men walked and never talked, and hunger gnawed their bones." ""I must have food!" yelled Big Jim." ""I must have food."" ""What are you eating?" said Black Larsen." ""Nothing," said the Little Fellow." ""Open your mouth."" ""Liar." "It's that candle."" ""That?" said the Little Fellow." ""How revolting!"" ""If I thought you were holding out on me, I'd slit your gizzard!"" ""One of us must brave that storm," said Big Jim, "if we're to get food." "Come here, the pair of you." "We'll cut the cards, and the low man goes."" ""You're the man," said Jim." ""Good-bye." "Good luck," said the Little Fellow." ""Don't forget to bring home the bacon."" "Somewhere in that nowhere... the law was looking for Black Larsen." "Desperate with hunger, and here it was, Thanksgiving Day." "Nevertheless, there was something to be thankful for." ""Not quite done yet," said the Little Fellow. "Give it two more minutes."" ""Come on, come on," said Big Jim." "After scouring the country for food... the Little Fellow had to admit he had seen nothing... not even a field mouse." "From the pangs of hunger, Big Jim was becoming delirious, hysterical." "In fact, he was a pain in the neck." ""Food!" "Food!" he thundered." ""I can put another shoe in the pot," said the Little Fellow." ""No, no!" "Anything but that."" "Poor Jim." "He couldn't take it." ""What's the matter?" said the Little Fellow." ""I thought you were a chicken."" ""Ah, well." "Build up the fire," said Big Jim." ""What's the matter with you?" said the Little Fellow." ""Come, my pretty bird," said Big Jim." ""Don't be childish."" ""Hey, quit it." "Don't be foolish." "It's me."" ""You!" said Jim." ""I'm sorry." "I must be crazy."" ""Huh!" "You're telling me," said the Little Fellow." ""There, now." "You go inside, and I'll take the gun in case you lose it."" "Chicken or no chicken, the Little Fellow looks appetizing to Big Jim." "Meanwhile, Black Larsen stumbled onto Big Jim's mountain of gold." "Then came the parting of the ways..." "Big Jim to his mine, our hero to his fate." ""Good-bye," said the Little Fellow." ""It's been a great pleasure knowing you."" "Treachery awaited Big Jim at his mountain of gold." "Big Jim looked deep into the eyes of Black Larsen and saw there... the soul of a skunk." "Caught in a maelstrom of desperate deeds..." "Black Larsen swept on to impending doom." "And out of a dream in that frozen waste, a city grew... and humanity warmed it with living, loving, and desiring." "Georgia." "Jack was a ladies' man." "Georgia was quick and impulsive, proud and independent." "And in the evening, Georgia worked as a dance-hall girl." "Jack had lots of appeal for Georgia." "Perhaps that's why she resented him." "And out of the night came the Little Fellow, towards the dance hall... that beacon light of pleasure, that retreat of lost dreams." ""Georgia, why aren't you nice to Jack?" "I believe he really likes you," said the girl." ""He likes everybody," said Georgia, quite audibly." ""Oh, I'm bored with this place," she continued." ""I'd give it all up if I could only find someone honest and worthwhile." "Don't worry." "I'll find him someday."" "Then she turned... and looked and looked and looked." ""Kinda fresh, ain't ya?" thought Jack." ""Get down off that high horse." "Me and you are gonna dance." "Hey, there." "Pan out a tune." "Just a moment." "I said we're gonna dance."" ""I beg your pardon," said Georgia." "Then to show her utter contempt for Jack... she picked out the most deplorable-looking tramp in the dance hall." ""Hey, you." "Come here." "Yes, you." "Do you want to dance?" "You see, I'm very particular whom I dance with."" "And there he stood, the dauntless cavalier... guarding her... her sanctuary." ""If you want to make a hit with your lady friend," said Jack... you should tidy up and put your hat on straight, like this."" ""Take that, you." "Ouch!"" ""Huh." "Very good." "Didn't know me own strength," said the Little Fellow." "Hank Curtis's cabin was just a stone's throw from the dance hall." "Hank was a mining engineer who lived alone... and who occasionally went on long expeditions into the far north." "Hank was kind and human, and our hero cold and hungry... and the beans smelled good, and the coffee was steaming hot." "So the Little Fellow devised a way of getting breakfast." "Big Jim recovered from the blow he received from Black Larsen... but lost his memory." "Hank's partner arrives." "Both are ready to leave on a long expedition." "Hank informs his partner that the Little Fellow... is to look after the cabin while he's away." ""Good-bye," said Hank, "and don't forget to feed the mule."" "Since that night in the dance hall, the Little Fellow had not seen Georgia... but an incident was to bring them together again." "There she stood, her loveliness lighting the room... filling his soul with the music of romance for which he was so ill-fitted." "And as she introduced her friends, his heart began to sing." "As they warmed themselves by the stove, he excused himself... to get firewood." "And in that cabin his secret was revealed... his love for Georgia." "And the girls giggled and laughed... perhaps in order to hide their pity... for in the world of the dance hall, it wasn't wise for the girls to reveal their hearts." "And so they thought they would have a little fun with him." "And there in the gloaming they sat... their faces alight with mischief... but all the while, his heart was singing." "And so she fooled and flirted and stroked his hair." "He knew she was fooling, but he was happy... for she was near him, holding his hand, smiling at him." ""Nice place you have here," said Georgia." ""I hope you will invite us again."" "What if she were fooling?" "He was enjoying the warmth of her attention... and the lady was enjoying the warmth of his chair." "And now she was leaving." "The light of her loveliness would be gone... and he would be left with an emptiness to return to his bleak, lonely existence." ""Pardon me," said the Little Fellow, "but, uh..."" "Huh." "He was lost for words." ""But would you really like to come again?" "Oh, of course," said Georgia." ""What do you say, girls?"" ""We'll come for dinner New Year's Eve," said the ladies." ""Very well," said Georgia." ""We'll come to dinner New Year's Eve."" "And of course at that moment, Georgia would forget her gloves." "For the next few days the Little Fellow hustled and shoveled... in order to buy that New Year's dinner." "The eve of the new year..." "new hopes and new dreams." "And there was Georgia, caressing him with her smiles and tender glances." "And the girls called for a speech." "But he was too happy to speak." "All that mattered was Georgia was there..." "Georgia." "So he muttered and stuttered and finally said..." ""I can't make a speech, but I'll do a dance."" "And a dance he did with the rolls." "Should auld acquaintance be forgot" "And never brought to mind" "Should auld acquaintance" "Be forgot" "And days of auld lang syne" "For auld lang syne, my dear" "For auld lang syne" "We'll take a cup" "Of kindness yet" "For auld lang syne" "In the midst of all their revelry, the vague memory of a promise... crept into Georgia's mind." ""Let's go up and visit the Little Fellow," she said." ""We'll have a little fun with him," said Jack." ""We'll send Georgia in first, then give him a scare."" ""Oh, forget it," said Jack." ""How about giving me a little attention?"" "A day or so later in the recorder's office, Big Jim tried to convince the assayers... that he had a mountain of gold." ""Where is this place?" they said." "But Big Jim's memory had failed him." "All he knew was that it was near the cabin." ""The cabin... that's it." "If I could find my way to the cabin, I could find the mine." "But I can't remember."" ""Hey," said Jack, "your lady friend Georgia's been looking for you."" "But the Little Fellow knew otherwise." "How dare that cad mention her name so lightly?" "For two pins he would give him another thrashing." "However, at that moment, being a little underweight, he would ignore the insult." "But it was true." "Georgia had been looking for him." "Georgia had written him a letter." "And as he went looking for Georgia, so Big Jim went looking for him." ""You!" "You!" said Big Jim." ""You!" "The very man I've been looking for!" "The cabin!" "The cabin!" "Where is it?" "Answer me, I say!" "Answer me!" "Can't you speak, man?" "Tell me!" "Tell me!" "Where's the cabin?" "The cabin... where is it?" "At last I shall find my mountain of gold." "To your feet, man, quick!" "You're coming with me." "Take me to the cabin, and I'll make you a millionaire in less than a month!"" ""Georgia!" "Just a moment," said the Little Fellow." ""Ah, Georgia, you don't have to explain." "I understand." "I love you." "I'm going to take you away from this life." "I am going away, and when I return, I shall come back."" "Exhausted and foot-weary, they arrived at the cabin." ""Ah," said Big Jim, "it won't be long now." "Bring in the eats, and tomorrow we'll start for the mine." "Here, take a swig of this." "It'll put hair on your topcoat."" ""My, this is a heavy lamb chop," said the Little Fellow." "Then Fate - it's always Fate - played its little joke... and again the elements laughed, roared, and thundered... but through it all our heroes soundly slumbered." "Then came the dawn." "The Little Fellow awoke, blissfully ignorant of what had happened the night before... but feeling definitely conscious of "the morning after."" ""Oh, well," thought the Little Fellow." ""May as well tidy up and get breakfast."" ""This is the worst liver attack I've ever had," thought the Little Fellow." ""Feel that rocking?"" ""It's the stomach."" ""It's not the stomach."" ""Let's go to the other side," said Jim." ""We'll see how far it'll go over."" ""Something must be missing underneath," said the Little Fellow." ""I'll go outside and see what it is."" ""Now," said Big Jim, "don't get excited." "Take it easy." "Don't move." "Don't breathe!" "I said don't breathe, stupid!"" ""You can be most annoying at times."" ""If you'll only be cool, be calm," said Big Jim..." ""we have nothing to worry about."" ""Now, show a little character." "Where's your willpower?"" ""Now, listen," said Big Jim, "I've got a very good idea." "Hold your hands like this." "Then I can get out first."" ""You see what I mean?" said Big Jim." ""Your mind is chaotic." "You have no psychology." "You have no control."" "And Big Jim discovered his claim." ""I've found it!" "My claim!" "My mountain of gold."" ""Hey!"" ""Hey!"" ""Now we shall be rich!" said Jim." ""We shall be millionaires!"" "And so they were." "Now they were homeward bound, leaving the hardship and toil of Alaska... to live in the land of milk and honey... to live, laugh, and indulge themselves in the lap of luxury." "And they were famous, and they were sought after by the press." "In their cabin deluxe, they were welcomed and waited upon." "And the reporter wanted to write the Little Fellow's life story... from rags to riches, and he graciously consented." "And Big Jim was manicured." ""No, not the nails," said he." ""The corns."" "The reporter thought of a good idea:" "to have the Little Fellow pose in his mining clothes." "It would make a human story." "Georgia." "And there she was in the steerage, neither one knowing of the other's presence." "And Georgia overheard the officer say there was a stowaway aboard." ""You!" said Georgia." ""I thought I'd never see you again."" "And then she mistook him for the stowaway." "And the officer was going to put him in irons... but Georgia pleaded for him and said she would pay his fare." ""Heck," said the captain, "that's no stowaway." "That's Big Jim's partner, the multimillionaire."" "And of course there were apologies." "And the Little Fellow gathered himself together... and James, the valet, was told to prepare for an extra guest." ""Pardon me," said the reporter, "but who's the lady?"" ""Buzz, buzz, buzz."" ""Ooh, you don't say." "Well, congratulations." "Say, this will make a great story..." "and with a happy ending."" "And so it was..." "a happy ending."