"The french, they have it all figured out, right?" "I read this article online, actually an in-depth blog, and it was saying how they consistently have better, more-fulfilling relationships than americans because they aren't so..." "so goal-oriented when it comes to love." "They don't judge a relationship based on the final outcome." "They value the actual journey." " Look, dude." "You can't keep beating yourself up over what happened." "I broke up with her, jared." "It's been over a year." "I give you permission to knock the dust off your schvantz." "And now you speak yiddish?" " Motherfucker, I was bar mitzvahed." "Shit, man." "At least you got that ring back." "That's pretty key." "You didn't get the ring back." "I don't want to talk about it." " Yeah." " You're a disgrace." " Yeah, I'm just getting warmed up." "Dude, come here." "Come here, come here." "Check it out." "Right there." "She's checking you out." "She's checking you out." "Hey, go over there and ask them to bowl with us." "I'm... dude, no." "Dude, would you... s-she's checking you out again a second time." "She checked you out again!" " She's scanning the room." "Just let it go." " Dude, she is not scanning the room." "Dude, if you don't go over there, I will." "Do it right now." " I'm not... dude, stop it." "Let it go." " No." "Here she... here she comes." " Are you serious?" " She's right..." " hey." " Hey." " Um, I was just wondering if you had an extra 12-pounder." " Um, well, I-I just have this one, but we can share it if you want." "Or you know what?" "Just take it." "Oh." "No, don't worry about it." "You're kind of on a roll here, so..." " Thank you." " I'll look for another one." "It's fine." " Are you sure?" " Yeah." "Sorry." " Thank you." " No, it's okay." " Yeah, sorry." "Hey, you guys should totally join us for a game of bowling." "We're just by ourselves here in this big lane." "Oh, yeah, sure." "That'd be fun." " Awesome." " All right." "Okay, yeah, cool." " Are you gonna buy us a drink if we win?" " You know, we'll buy you a drink anyway, because chivalry is still alive, believe it or not." " Oh." "All right." " Yeah." "I like that." " Oh!" " Yeah!" "Okay, okay!" "We can work with that." "We can work with that." " All right, take a deep breath." "Aah!" "Oh!" " Oh!" "Oh!" "Um, well, this is me." "Nice." " Thank you so much for walking me." "Yeah, no problem." "I had fun..." "Tonight." " Yeah." " We should definitely hang out again." "Um, yeah." "I mean..." "Ugh." "I should have told you this earlier, but, um..." "I'm seeing someone." "Well, we've only been on two dates, but, um, I did promise him a third." " I-I think we should go on a date." "What's the worst that could happen?" "Come on." " Just give me your phone." "Sure." "Think about it." "Okay." "Okay." "Well, bye." " Bye." "Mm." " Good night." " Good night." "Dinner." " As friends." " Yeah." " Bye." " You know, what's funny is a month ago, this would have been a different story." "She promised this guy a third date." "Ugh." "I'm unlucky." "It's like every girl in this town, they're playing a game, you know?" "And the hotter the chick..." "pbht!" "The crazier the game." "I'm good, man." "This one's on her." "Thanks." "I, um..." "I usually don't drink alone." "So don't." "I'm harry." " I'm maren." " Hi, maren." "So..." "Maren." "Do you stay at this hotel?" "Yeah." "I'm here for the weekend." "Doing some open houses." "I live in westchester." " Wow." "That's pretty fancy." " Yeah." "But I get to see my kids when I'm in town." " Your kids?" "You don't have kids." "You have three kids." "She has three kids." "Wow." " One's in college here in the city." " Were you pregnant in middle school?" "Oh." "Cute." "I bet you say that to all the moms." "You divorced?" " Hey, you know what?" "It's his loss." "So, harry..." "Why are you drinking alone?" "What?" "Mm." "Mm." " Okay." "I have a confession to make." " Really?" "What?" " Yeah." "It's been a year since I've had sex." "Whoa." "You married?" "What?" "No, no." "No." "Um..." "My fiancée cheated on me." "Awhile back." "Okay." "We'll go slow." "Mm?" "Want to hand me that glass?" "I have a confession to make, too." "What's that?" "I'm nervous, too." " You're nervous, too?" "That's good." "That's good." "Nervous is good." "You want to try something fun?" "Okay." " It's like in high school." "Remember?" " I did not do that in high school." " You didn't?" " Well, we went to different schools, probably." "Yeah." "I went on a date tonight." "My first in a really, really long time." "And, um..." "It was with this guy I hadn't seen since college." "You know how things get built up over e-mail and text?" "And... and we met." "It was weird." "Why was it weird?" "Well, let's start with..." "Size." "Was he, like..." "50 pounds heavier than..." " oh, I was thinking something completely different." " That's when I should have left, right?" "But I stayed, and he started sucking my fingers at dinner." "Who does that?" "Hey." "I want you to know that not every guy out there is gonna be like him." "You know, we're not all flabby, dishonest..." "Finger sucking at the dinner table weirdos." "Let's not put any pressure on tonight." "Whatever it is is what it is." " I'm so confused." "I set it all up for you." "I just can't believe you didn't nail her." " I walked her home." "I actually liked her." "It's always about nailing somebody." "Why do you always have to nail somebody?" "Okay." "Then you went out han solo, nailed a new chick after getting rejected." " It's different, and I wasn't rejected." "We... you know, we... we parted amicably." " You at least make out?" " No." "But..." "We're supposed to go out to dinner." "Mm-hmm." "Yeah." "And that relationship's dead." " You think so?" "Why do you think it's dead?" " Have you ever successfully dated a girl where you didn't get some small kiss or some inkling of progression by the night's end?" "I got her number." "Meaningless without a make out." "But you know what?" "Tell me about the second one." "I don't know." "The sec... the second one was a one-night thing." "It was... it was nothing." " Was she hot?" " Yeah." "Older." " Oh?" " Yeah." " Older." "Okay." "Now you can reapproach the first girl with that confidence you were lacking." "I'm confused." "I thought you just said the first one was dead." " You can text her something naughty." "Like, what is she, uh..." "You know, what kind of panties does she wear?" "Like, oh, is she loud..." " she's seeing someone else, okay?" "Scratch her off the list." "Text the milf something dirty." "She's totally your strong hand." "I'm not texting anybody." " You have a golden opportunity to have a little fun with zero chance of getting hurt." " Shh." "Shh, shh." "Hello?" " Zero chance." "Oh, hey." "All right, yeah." "Bye." " Who was that?" " It was the second one." "She wanted to hang out later, so we might, you know... jared, stop that." "Don't look at me like that." "I'm just maybe grabbing a coffee with her." "Look at me." "That's it." "God." "Oh, god." "Your secret's gonna come out." "What secret?" " When all the other girls find out how good you are," "I'm gonna have to beat them off you with a stick." "I'm just messing with you." "I wouldn't want this to be anything more than what it is." "Hmm?" "Yeah." "Tell me about the girl from yesterday." "What girl from yesterday?" "You know." " What girl from yesterday?" "The one that got you all bent out of shape at the bar." "Is she cute?" "Come on." "She... yeah." "I thought we had a connection, and then she told me that she was seeing another guy, and she had, uh, she had promised this guy a third date, so..." "Anyway, that was it, you know?" "It's over." "What?" "No, it's not over!" " It is very much over." " No!" "Text her." "Right now?" "Yeah." "She just wants to be friends." "She's playing hard to get." "You're unbelievable." "I can't believe you're encouraging this." "You know what?" "I'll text her." "No." "You will not." "You will not text anyone, young lady." "I will text her." "When I get home." "Text her now." "If she answers right back, it's because she likes you." " I'll see if she wants to grab dinner tonight." " It's too last minute." "It's as if you weren't really thinking about her." "Ask her to something more casual, like coffee or lunch." " How about I invite her to brunch?" ""Hey." "You..." "Want to grab..." "Brunch sometime?"" " "Brunch tomorrow" question mark." "Light." " "Brunch tomorrow" question mark." "Send." " You know what I love about new york city?" " Um, the rats?" " Nope." " Pollution?" " Nope." " Construction?" " Yes!" "Construction." "I was... they're always building stuff." "Like, what are they building?" "I don't know." "It's new york." " You don't do construction, do you?" " No, I work in I.T. Sales." " Really?" "I.T." " Mm-hmm." "I thought you were gonna say something sexier, like..." "Actuarial science." "Well, what do you do?" "Uh, I don't do anything." "Tell me more." " I don't do nothing." "I'm..." "I'm in school." "I'm finishing up a two-year grad program at columbia." "Studying architecture." " Oh, no way." "My dad's an architect." "Get out of here." " Yeah, he's a partner at kenner and boyd." "Kb?" "Wow." "I'm supposed to interview with them next week." " Oh, well, I'll make sure he keeps an eye out for you." "So, um..." "I need..." "I need your male advice for something." "Okay." "Shoot." " I went on the third date with that guy last night." "And I don't know." "We just had an okay time." " Was it... was it good okay?" "Was it... was it bad okay?" " First of all, he doesn't make any plan for dinner." "Okay?" "And then he says," ""oh, we'll just go wherever you want to go."" "So we end up just, like, spending an hour walking the streets of no reservation looking for a table." " No." "You don't have your date walk the streets in heels when you can just use an app." " You mean the app for his..." "Flip phone?" "Are you serious?" "Ugh." "Grace, grace." "No." "He has a flip phone?" " Yeah." " What kind of batteries does that thing take?" "Is it like aa or aaa?" " Oh, I know." "Oh." "It's him." "It's, uh, it's flip phone." "He's apologizing for the restaurant debacle." "Hmm." " You're..." "you're gonna see him again?" " He says he wants to meet today for coffee." "Why so soon after our last date?" "What does that mean?" "I don't know." "I mean, coffee today just seems really last minute, it's like he's not even thinking about you." "You think?" " Or he really likes you and he wants to see you again." "You're the best." "Thanks." "No problem." "Well, um, I feel foolish." "I mean, there's a part of me that feels naive." "I wonder why I ever got my hopes up to begin with." "Look, I-I-it's not working out." "I have to accept that." "I have to accept that she just..." "she likes some other clown." "Take off your pants." " You know she's with him right now." "They're out having coffee." "Coffee?" "Yeah, right." "Girls play games, sweetheart." "You never played any games." "Mm." "I don't have to play games." " It's her." " Mm-hmm." "He broke up with her." "Mm." "Sad." " "I can really use someone to talk to right now." "Are you free?"" "She wants to see me." " Great." "No, no." "She wants to see me." "I mean, you of all people should know this is a pretty critical moment." " I understand." "But I'd really like to have sex before I leave." "Hmm?" " I-I don't..." "I don't think this is a good idea." "Why not?" "Um..." "'Cause I might be starting something with this girl." " Wait." "One minute ago, it was okay to have sex, and now it's not?" "I mean, technically," "I didn't have a shot with this girl a minute ago, so now I'm just like, "I can't sleep with you and then run off to see her."" "It's not like you're cheating." "No, I know." "It... it's just dishonest." "I-I don't want to start a new relationship off on the wrong foot." "This is new." "Yeah, this is new." "But we both agree that this was gonna be a fun weekend thing." " Why would you even come back here if you think so little of me?" "You get one text from that girl and I'm out?" " You were the one that encouraged me to ask her out." "What did she say?" "Don't come back." "Are you serious?" "Maren, this is stupid." "Let's just talk about this like adults." "You are selfish." "You don't care who you hurt." "Please leave." "Go." "Fine." "I'm sorry." "No, you know what?" " No." "Don't talk." "Whatever." "I've done nothing wrong." "Hey." "Thank you for taking me up to meet your dad." "I really appreciate it." "Yeah, of course." "You know, I think it's good that you didn't meet him during your interview, 'cause this is way more relaxed." "Do I look nervous?" "No?" "Don't be nervous." "He's super cool, and he makes a mean barbecue." "I am starving." "Me, too." "I can't walk into my parents' house looking all flushed." "Okay, just make a left into this driveway." "Well..." "Here goes nothing." " Don't worry." "There they are!" "Oh!" "Hi, sweetheart." "How are you?" "Hello." "You must be harry." " Nice to meet you, sir." " No, call me phil." "Call me phil." "Come on in." "Where's mom?" " Uh, she's out finishing up some gardening." "So the drive up was okay?" " Yeah." "We just took 95 all the way." "And we brought wine." "Red." "That is perfect." "Let's have some." " Sounds good." " Okay." " The interviewer said good things about you, harry." " Thank you." "That's always good to hear." " What other firms are you meeting with?" "A handful of others." "Miller and samuels, design inc., the marcus company, the foundry." "Oh." "Chicago." "You'd leave new york?" "I don't really want to, but..." "Any offers?" " Not yet, but hopefully, someone will make one soon." " Hopefully." " You got your degree at columbia, right?" " For grad school, yes." " And undergrad?" " Dartmouth." " Oh." ""Animal house" is one of my all-time favorite movies." "Phil, I got to tell you, uh, this house is amazing." "Did you build this?" " I just did some major renovations." "The original contractor was a crook." "He used the wrong materials." "He cut a lot of corners." "Part of the foundation was sinking four years after it was done." "That's not good." " No, I was so busy with work at the firm," "I didn't even know what was happening in my own home." " That's crazy." " Hi!" " Hi!" "Hi, sweetie!" "You're early." "I am?" "I thought I said 5:00." " Really?" " I don't know." "Want some wine, hon?" "Mom, are you okay?" " Yeah." "No." "No, I'm not okay." "I thi..." "I think I'm overheating." " Well, you were out there for a long time." "That sun's a real killer." " I'm so hot." " I'll get you some water." " Thank you." "You okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine." "Stop fussing." "We're out of, um, bottles." "In the pantry." "Well, maybe you should go lie down, huh?" "No." "Just go start the grill." "All right." "Okay." "The fuck are you doing here?" "!" "You said you were divorced!" " What are you doing with my daughter?" "Oh, your daughter?" "You mean "the one I was all bent out of shape about at the bar"?" "Oh, god." " I found it." " Hey!" "Oh, mom." "You look worse." "I'm just dehydrated." " Um, hey, I'm gonna go help your dad with the grill." "No." "No." "I want you right here." "I have so much to ask you about." "So, how'd you two meet?" " Um, we were actually both out bowling one night." " Oh." "You know, as someone from an older generation," "I'm fascinated by how dating works these days." "What do you mean?" " Well, back in the days of your grandparents, or even back when we met, things just moved a lot slower." "There was no internet, no social media, no texting." " I remember being so nervous when I picked up the phone to ask your mother out on our first date, that I must have hung up 10 times before I actually dialed at last." "Texting has got to be a lot easier than that." "And, you know, e-mailing..." "let me tell you." "That has made coursework so much easier." " Harry, did you text or call first?" " You texted, remember?" " I texted?" "I texted." "Yes." "My mind's a sieve." "Must have been some other floozy you were calling." " Oh, no." " I believe that the best relationships start as friendships." " Yeah, dad." "I've heard this one before." "Well, I'll say it again." "It's what makes the relationship I have with your mother that much stronger." " So you two are more like friends?" "Of course we're friends." "So, it's platonic?" "Well, like phil so wisely said, um, you know, the best relationships are..." "Founded on friendship." "Oh." "So you two are just friends?" " We're dating." " Wait, I'm..." "I'm confused." "Which... which is it?" " Maren, I don't think we need to label every little detail." " No, I don't see this as every little detail." "I'd like to know what kind of relationship our daughter is in." " Mom, please." "We're dating." "The end." "Yeah, you say that, but it seems as if harry is saying one thing and you're saying another thing." "Back when your dad and I were going out, it wasn't until we were physically intimate that we both agreed that we were dating." "Mom!" "If you want to know if harry and I have had sex, just ask." "We haven't had sex." " Harry!" " I'm sorry." "Can we please change the subject?" " Yes." "Please." "Let's just change the subject." " I'd like some more wine, please." "In a bit, maren." "I'd like some more wine now." " I think you've had enough for now." "Jesus christ!" "Excuse me." "Did somebody say something to piss you off?" " Have you seen the mustard?" " I don't know." "Maybe it's on the table." "You are being so rude to harry." "Uh, we're considering him for a position, and grace seems to really like him." "I don't like him." "He's a phony." "Maren, if this is about me and whatever problem you have with me, you don't need to take it out on our daughter's friend." " Oh." "I'm guilty for your indiscretions?" " My... my past whatever you want to call them and you being rude to harry have absolutely nothing to do with each other." "Nothing." "Oh, really?" "Yes." "Yes." "Really." "What?" "What?" "Nothing." " You know what?" "You've been drinking." "And I don't want to argue with you when you're in this state, especially when we have company." " I love it." "I say what's on my mind, and you say it's because I've been drinking, because we can't have a conversation." " Well, sweetheart, you are drinking, and we're having a conversation." "I'm gonna ask you to have this exact same conversation tomorrow morning, and I will be stone-fucking-cold sober." "And guess what?" " I'm sure you will be." " I will say the exact same things and they will have had nothing..." " my mom is driving me nuts." "She's acting really weird." " I-I just..." "I don't know what she acts like normally, so I don't have a scale." "What's wrong?" "Maybe it's best if I leave and give your parents some space." "You think?" "Yeah." "Um..." "Yeah." "You know what?" "I'm not feeling very well." " Oh?" " Uh..." "I think I need to get some air." " We're outside." " I think it's the food." "It's the food." " Oh, no." "It's the food?" " It's not the food." "It's my... it's me." "It's my ibs." "I think my ibs is acting up." " Irritable bowel syndrome?" " Mm-hmm." "You were just talking about your cast-iron stomach the other day." "I know." "It's weird." "Aside from a mild lactose intolerance," "I'm usually ironclad, but, uh..." "Oh, man." "You know, I'm gonna go to the pharmacy." " No, no, no." "It's around the corner." "I'll go." "It's fine." "Harry needs lactose pills." "Yeah." "Ugh." " You do?" " Mm-hmm." "Uh, my stomach's not in the best of moods right now." "So I told..." "I was gonna go to the pharmacy." "I'll drive you." "Grace just offered." " It'll give us some time to chat." " Honestly, I don't want to inconvenience you." "I insist." "I think it's a good idea." " Grace and I can catch up on a few things." "Um..." "You know, I'm thinking it might be just best if I head out a little early, 'cause I'm gonna be spending the night at my buddy jared's place, so if I get..." " Just get in the car." " I'm..." "I'm sorry I'm not feeling well." "You can tell me the truth." "I can handle it." "Your food is really good." "It's delicious." "And my stomach pains are in no way meant to impugn your cooking." " It's not about my cooking." "It's about maren." "I know you're uncomfortable." "But think about how I feel." " I have to live with this every day." "I'm sorry." "I'm so sorry, phil." "When I agreed to meet grace's parents nothing could have prepared me to see maren face-to-face." "I want to apologize for my behavior." "I feel awful." " You want to apologize?" " Yes." "You feel awful?" "I do." " What'd you do?" "You were invited to dinner." "You had no idea you were gonna walk into all that tension." "Maren and I, we've been having struggles for awhile now, and it's..." "I feel really badly that you got dragged into the middle of it." "I'm embarrassed." "And I know you're uncomfortable." "Little bit." "I-I-I want to apologize." "I'm sorry." "Hey." "Apology accepted." "Good." "Thanks." "Well, I'm glad we cleared the air." "I feel better." "Oof." "I'm not washing anything by hand tonight." " No, just put everything in here." "Get rid of it." " Yeah." "Put it in." "Honey..." "You really like this guy, huh?" "Yeah, I think I do." "Mm." "But he is a little old for you, isn't he?" " Mom." "We're just dating, okay?" "We're not getting married or anything." "We're just... you know, we're getting to know each other." "We're figuring it out." "Yeah." "I just don't want you rushing into situations before you're emotionally ready." "Oh." "You mean like how you and dad had me before you were prepared?" "Okay." "We did initially rush into things, but that was then, and look at us now." "I need to ask you something." " Okay." "Is dad having an affair?" "No." "No." "Of course not." "I don't..." "I don't know." "What is it?" "Are you having an affair?" "Honey!" "Sweetheart, please." " It just... it just feels really weird in this house." "I don't know." "Am I imagining it?" " There's nothing going on, sweetie." "Here." "Room for this?" " Yeah." "Uh, I'll meet you at the register." "Okay." "Hi, sweetheart." "Hi." "Those are your eyes, baby." " That nose... the nose is definitely yours." " Okay, maybe it's my nose, but those are your eyes." "You think so?" " Yeah, that's what you look like." " Yo." " I am in some serious shit right now, man." "The mom that I slept with a month ago?" "Uh-huh." "Grace's mother!" " No fudging way." " What?" "Yeah, fudging way." "Now I'm stuck in a house with her and grace." " That is incredible." " I d..." "I'm freaking out, man." "I got to bail." " No, no, no, no, no." "Bad move." " Wait." "What?" " The most important thing in this situation right now, you are one step away from having a mother/daughter threesome." "Oh, my god." "He's about to have a mother-daughter threesome." "Ew!" "Ew!" " I never did this when I was single." "Jesus!" " I'm not having a mother/daughter threesome!" "Dude, I need you to be serious right now." "The husband has no idea I had sex with his wife." " There's a husband?" " Yes!" "Don't worry about it." "She is not gonna want to reveal the affair any more than you do." "You'll be completely fine." " Are you kidding?" "I think she wants a divorce." "Play it cool." "No open affection toward her in front of the mother." "I'm just coming over to you." " Don't feed her at the dinner table." "Do not..." " you all set?" " Yeah." "We have leftovers, sweetie." "No, thanks." "I saw a documentary at school on the food industry." "I am done with meat." " Well, 60 minutes of sugar is toxic." " Better than mad cow." "We're back!" "How did it go?" "I made it." "Yay!" " How's things here?" " Good." "Harry, this is my sister, liz." "Hey." "Hey, liz." "So, uh..." "You know," "I-I-I think I'm actually gonna head out." "No!" "Already?" "Well, jared's expecting me, and I don't want to keep him waiting." " Oh, well, you know, you really don't look 100%." "I think that maybe you should, like, lie down or rest." " Really?" "Well, that's..." "I feel great." "Harry, do you play golf?" " Who doesn't?" " That's good." "I have an 8:47 tee time with a managing partner at the firm." "You should join us." " Really?" " Yeah." " That sounds amazing." "Yeah." " Good." " Well, you should just spend the night, then." "Yeah, you can sleep in kate's bedroom." "She's still at nyu, so..." " It's empty." "I-I could sleep in kate's room." "Yeah, you know, or, you know what I'll do?" " No, no." "The golf course is literally around the corner." " It's not a big issue." " Just stay the night." " Listen." " Grace." "I think harry is saying he has plans." " It's absolutely no inconvenience if you want to stay in kate's room." " Ugh, phil, look at me." "I'm not in the proper attire." " Well, we're about the same size." "Figure something out for you." "Um..." "Well, I guess." "It's a done deal." "You're golfing in the morning, and you're staying in kate's room." " Yay!" " Good." "Yay." "Staying in kate's room." " I'll let the partner know." " All right." "I'll get my bag." "What the fuck are you doing?" "!" "What?" "He made me stay!" "I could have burned your ass when you took your fake sick to... to the pharmacy." "And you chose to stay?" "!" " Give me a break." "Burn my ass, and your ass gets burned." "I've decided to tell my husband." " Okay." "Are you out of your mind?" "!" " Mm-hmm." "You shouldn't have a problem with that, since, according to you, relationships need to be founded on a bedrock of honesty." " Do not throw my words into my face!" "You know there are exceptions to that rule." "I am not prepared to tell grace." "I owe it to her to tell her what happened." "Oh, bullshit!" "You're the one that lied about being divorced." "I never said I was divorced." " Yes, you did." " No!" "You assumed." "I think you're just jealous." "You're jealous of me and grace." " Oh, please." " Admit it." " What we had was purely physical." "It was only about sex." "What are you going to do?" " Why'd you make harry stay when you know I'm not a fan?" " W-w-what do you have against him?" " I shouldn't have to justify my feelings about who gets to stay in this house." "It's my house, too." "You're right." "I'm sorry." "I don't want to fight tonight." "I haven't had a drink in two hours." "I'd really like to talk." " I really want to be fresh for my golf game tomorrow morning." "Can we just talk about this tomorrow?" "No." "No." "I want to talk now." "Fine." "What do you want to talk about?" "I want to talk about harry." " I just thought that it would be easier if we all left together in the morning." "What is the big deal?" "You knew how I felt." "And you didn't care." " Well, what do you want me to do?" "Should I have him go sleep in his car?" "He was leaving to stay at a friend's house, but you insisted he stay just to contradict me." "No, I didn't." "I just want him to meet my partner on the golf course." " He was gonna meet you in the morning at the golf course!" "I already told you." "I'm sorry." " Yes, because you'll say anything not to have this conversation." " Then why don't you just tell our daughter who she can and cannot date?" "That way we can all disregard each other's feelings." "That's rich, coming from you." "You're an asshole." "Besides, grace is too young for him." "He's got bags under his eyes and a thin upper lip." "Maren?" "No." "Grace." "You thought I was my mom?" "No, no." "Uh, hey." "Is everything okay?" " I don't know." "Is everything okay?" "Holy shit." " I've always wanted to have sex in the house I grew up in." " I know, but I don't want to wake your mom and dad up." "You've been very patient." " I know, but your parents are right here." " So what?" "It's not like we're in high school." "Yeah." "Okay." "Grace, I really don't feel comfortable pressuring you." "Is it my outfit?" "Is it too much?" " No." "No, hey." "You look amazing." "Like, amazing amazing." "It's just I'm..." "I'm here, and it's..." "it's a strange house." "It's..." "like, the house isn't that st... what the fuck was that?" " What?" "What?" " Listen." "Shh." "I heard something." "You need to relax." "Oh, my god." "Okay." "You know what I'm gonna do?" "Hey." "Hey, babe." "You know what I'm gonna do?" " Mm?" " I'm just gonna go..." "I'm gonna go and brush my teeth." "And then I'm..." "I'm gonna come back here after... after I brush them, so you don't go anywhere, okay?" " Okay." " All right." "Be right back." " Okay." "You're gonna go back in there." "You're gonna tell her you're tired." "You're gonna tell her you're very, very tired." "You need to get a good night's sleep so you can impress her dad and his partner at the golf course tomorrow, and you're gonna be out of this house, you're gonna be home free." "It's all you got to do." "No, no, no, no." "Hey!" "Psst!" "Psst!" "Psst!" "Come... come here." "In here." "I hav..." "I have to brush my teeth." " I'm really sorry for getting worked up earlier." "I'm sorry for yelling at you." "Look, I promise I'll be out of your hair first thing in the morning." "You're not the problem." "It's my marriage." "My marriage is so screwed up." "I'll probably get divorced and I'll die alone." "And that asshole can just move on to someone new, but what about me?" "I'm 45." "Soon, I'll be 50." "Nobody takes 50-year-olds seriously because they're not a threat." "You're very threatening, okay?" "And, hey." "You can easily pass for 37." "37?" "37." "See?" "It's not all that bad." "It's bad." "He doesn't touch me anymore." "I can't remember the last time that he kissed me." "And I need that." "I need to be kissed, and I need to be touched, and I need to be appreciated after everything I've given up for this family." " You've done a lot." "Yes, it's awful." "It's unfair." "But you have to trust me." "You have to..." "look at me." "Y-you're gonna be fine." "He never even admitted it, even though I knew that he was going outside our marriage." "You know, time goes on." "I stop bringing it up because after a little while," "I start feeling like I'm the bad person for harping on something he never confessed to." "So tell phil how you feel." "I mean, tell him how you really feel." "And who knows?" "Maybe you guys work things out and you move on together, or you don't and you move on separately." "But at least you have closure, and... and... and in any case, you move on." " Maybe none of this is meant to be." "You, me, phil..." "Grace." "Or maybe it's a sign that things just need fixing." "Hey." "Everything okay?" "Yeah." "Just had to floss and..." "Those hard-to-reach places." " I'm really happy you're staying the night." "I'm happy, too." "Nice shot." "Thank you." "Sometimes, I think simon sleeps with a nine iron under his pillow." " Yeah, he takes his golf pretty seriously." "Yeah." "It's just a game." "Seems like grace really likes you." "You like her?" "Confidentially?" "Absolutely." " I like her." " Good." " I like her more than I've liked any other girl before." " Think it's love?" " Oh." "I've only told one other girl that I loved her, and that did not end the way that I expected it to, so..." " Yeah, they don't always." "Ah." " Do you think your relationship with maren..." "do I think it's gonna end?" " I was gonna say, "do you think it's gonna last?"" "I'm... all this..." "all this tension you're feeling between you and maren," "I think if you really talk to her, like, really listened, it'd be good." " Well, I talk." "I talk." "The problem is that she doesn't listen." " Have you thought about..." "Just letting her talk?" "How's that a conversation?" "Phil, I..." "I honestly think that women sometimes don't want us to have all the answers, you know?" "It's... it's like doing nothing for them is better than just saying anything to say something to them." "Think about it." "What do they..." "what do they really want?" "They want us..." "To pay attention to them, to... to touch them and to show them affection and..." "Kiss them." "Yes!" "Yes!" "Okay, harry." "You're up." " I don't know." "I'm just speaking out loud." "What's wrong?" "What do you mean?" "You never buy me flowers." "Oh, well, I..." "I..." "Thought maybe the house could use a little color." "They're nice." "No flowers for me?" " I thought the flowers were for the whole house." " Oh." "It's okay." " I got to take this call." "I'll be right back." " How deep are you in mother/daughter ass right now?" " I-I... dude, I can't do this anymore, man." "I got to tell grace what happened." " Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." "Slow down, amigo." "Bad idea." " I feel like a complete hypocrite." " Here I am, I'm..." "I'm dishing out marital advice to maren and her..." "and her husband about how they should communicate openly and honestly, and I can't even look grace in the face and tell her what happened." " Dude, you don't know what the mom or will not say, but you're definitely gonna sabotage any chance with this girl if you tell her the truth." " I cannot be in a relationship based on dishonesty." "It's against my principles." " That is totally your fear of commitment talking right now." " Jared, if I don't tell her, I need to end things with her." "That's where I'm at right now." " Have you guys noticed anything..." "Strange about harry?" "Harry?" "No." "I've noticed." " You have?" " You have?" "Well, yeah, but that's because he told me that, um..." "Well, what did he tell you?" "Oh, well, it's just... just guy talk, you know?" "Man-to-man." "Mano a mano." " I think I put too much pressure on him by having him meet you." " Well, he was gonna meet me, anyway." " I think he's gonna break up with me." " What?" "No!" "No, he really likes you." " Maybe he's pretending to like you so dad will hire him." " Liz." " No, that makes sense." "He's been acting really weird and distant." " I probably shouldn't tell you this because he said it in confidence, but he told me he's never felt about anyone the way he feels about you." " He said that?" " He said that?" "Yeah." "He said he's never liked any girl as much as he likes you." " Sweetheart, why don't you take liz dress shopping for kate's party?" "Okay." "I'll see if harry wants to go." "Come on." "Shopping." "We need to talk." " "Grace, I want to tell you something and I don't want you to get mad."" "That's awful." ""Grace, I got to tell you something." ""Please don't judge me." ""Look, I'm just gonna be honest with you." ""I need to tell you something." "Harry?" "Are you okay?" "Yeah." "I need to tell you something." "And what I'm gonna say is going to change our relationship significantly." "I know." "I'm ready." " Why don't you tell me what you think it is I'm gonna say?" "It's okay." "I'm scared to verbalize it, too." "I love you, too." "There." "I said it." "Me, too." "I mean, I'm game to... to have an honest, uh, discussion with you." "About us." "Oh." "Okay." "Well..." "I still haven't recovered from your affair." "Honey, I thought we got through this." " No, because you never admitted to it." " Well, it's because nothing ever happened." "Here we go again." "Why are we talking about stuff from two years ago?" "19 months." "And I thought you said nothing happened." "What's wrong with you?" "Is it... is it..." "is it because you think" "I'm gonna pack my bags and leave if you tell me what I already know?" " All right, we kissed once." " But I think I already told you that." " Yeah, who kisses someone once at our age?" " Well, that's..." "that's what we did." "Just once." "For the love of christ." "Please." "Just tell me the truth." "Okay." "I had an affair." "And it was a horrible mistake." "And I promise you that nothing like that has happened since." "Did you have sex with her in our bedroom?" "No." "Never." "Did you tell her you loved her?" "No." "No way." "Did she give you blow jobs?" " That's ridiculous." "No." " Yeah." " No, no." "You don't get to do that." "It's my right to know this shit, and you're gonna sit there, and you're gonna answer my ridiculous questions." "Did she give you blow jobs?" " Yes." "Did you like them?" "Yeah, I liked them." "More than mine?" "No." "But they were more frequent." "Why did it end?" "Because she was pressuring me, and there was no way in hell that I was gonna leave you for her." "So she broke it off." " No, I broke it off." " Mm." "You kept it going." " No." "I broke it off." "Look, I told you that I liked her blow jobs." "Why would I lie about this?" "I swear to you, I broke it off." "I slept with someone in new york." "Last month." "Why can't you get angry?" "I hate it when you don't show your feelings." "Who was he?" "It was a guy I met." "It lasted a weekend." "And I have to tell you," "I feel like..." "I feel like I want to do that again." "I don't want that." "Why not?" "There's no need to keep up appearances here." "It's an empty house." "Kids are gone." "I know this is just..." "Some sort of delayed reaction because of what I did." "I get it." "But I-I believe we can fix this." "Because I still love you." "You're the only person that I want to see before I close my eyes at night." " And I'm not looking for anybody else." "I want to grow old with you." "Where's this coming from?" "My heart." "And I-I did have some time on the couch to think about this sort of stuff." "I'm sorry about that little freak out last night." "But I took your advice." "And?" "Well, I, um..." "I think phil and I just had an honest conversation, and that was really unexpected." " I'm gonna tell grace what happened." "What?" "I can't do this anymore, maren." "I can't hide this from her." "It's eating away at me inside." "W-why would you do that?" "Why would you deliberately hurt her?" " I feel like I'm hurting her by not telling her." " This is something I can't not be honest about." "Oh, screw honesty!" "What is the point of telling her?" "She told me she loves me." " And I feel guilty that I'm pretending this didn't happen and walking around under the cloud of this mistake." "You cannot tell her." "You cannot tell grace." " This would have been so much easier if we hadn't met." "I'm sorry." "Oh, shit." "Oh, shit, shit, shit." "Ooh, I like them both." "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid." "Let me take a picture and send it to mom." " ¶ Talk to me, you talk to me ¶" " mom?" "What are you doing here?" " Hi, girls." "Well, I just thought I'd come by so we can do some shopping and have some fun." " Harry just broke up with me." " What?" " Yeah, he couldn't even do it in person." "He just did it through an e-mail." "It... it doesn't say he's breaking up with you." "I-I-I..." "this e-mail is very vague." "Mom, are you crazy?" "He says he doesn't feel the same way." " It says... it says he wants to remain friends, and that's positive." "Just stop." "I'm an idiot." "No, no, no, sweetie." "Don't cry." "Don't..." "please don't cry." " I should have just listened to you." "You know what?" "I'm actually starting to like him now, and I think this is just a little bit of healthy dialog." " Dialog?" " Yes." "He couldn't even call me!" " He dumped you." "Why would he call you?" "Liz, please." "No." "He didn't call you because... because..." "because he didn't mean it." " Oh, he didn't mean it?" " He didn't mean it." " He didn't mean it?" " He didn't mean it." "Wait a minute." "He didn't mean it." "He didn't mean it." "No, he didn't even say it." "I said, "I love you," and he said, "I do, too."" "I am so stupid." "No, no, no, sweetie." "I'm sure this is just one big misunderstanding." "That's all it is." " No, it's not." "I can't even be here right now." " No, grace." " I'm going back to the city." "Asshole." " Did you tell grace what happened?" "Why would I tell grace?" " Maren, she just sent me a text calling me a manipulative liar." "She won't take any of my phone calls." "Please." " Well, I just talked to her, and... she was, um, shaken by your emotional indifference earlier today." " Everything was fine with us an hour ago." "Was it?" "She didn't feel you were being genuine." "About what?" "About being in love." "If you don't love her, just let her go." "At least you don't have to hurt her feelings with the truth." "Harry!" "Hey, you leaving already?" " I just got off the phone with simon." "I figured you'd want to know he made a decision." "We'd love to have you on our team." "H.R. Is gonna be sending you some paperwork to look over, okay?" "Congratulations." "Thank you." " She... she likes peaches." " Is that right?" " Happy graduation!" "I'm so proud of you." "Thank you." "Thanks, guys." " They're the exact, same thing." "It would be, like..." "hold on one second." "Sorry." "Yeah." "Are we still going on his boat?" " I'm not sure this is a good idea." "You know, grace hasn't returned my phone calls." "What's he doing here?" " Well, I-I invited harry, sweetheart." "I-I thought it might be a good idea for him to talk to grace." "What if grace doesn't want to talk to him?" "Phil." "You got a second?" " Oh, hey, mario." " Somebody I want you to meet." " All right, hold on a second, harry." " I just want to talk to grace." "That's all." " Yeah." "And tell her about us." " I'm not gonna tell her about us, maren." " Really?" " Yes." "Maren, this has been the worst week of my life." "Please." "I'm not gonna cause any problems." "Look..." "I know you don't want to talk to me right now, but I just wanted to say that..." "I was scared to say how I truly felt back at your parents' house." "I was afraid of getting too close and getting hurt and I was a coward, but that's why I'm here now, to tell you how I really feel." "Grace, I love you, and I know this is real because the thought of losing you hurts me so much that I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't even think straight." "I know you're mad at me, and I'm sorry for showing up unannounced, but I really wanted to come here and talk to you." "I'm so happy that you came." " I feel so close to you right now." " I feel like I've never been closer to anybody else in my entire life." "I-I feel like I always want us to just share how we feel and... and just be open so that we never get hurt." " Yes!" "Grace, I don't ever want to hurt you again." " Yeah, no more secrets." " I want to tell you everything." " And... and never keep anything from each other." " No more secrets." " Yeah, no more secrets." " Before we started dating, I slept with your mother." " What?" " I know." "That night that I met you, after I walked you home," "I went to a hotel bar, and she was there, and that's how we met." "And I'm just..." "I want to lay this all out there now so that we can just get past it and it won't come back to haunt us." "We can just move forward and be happy together." "You had sex with my mom?" "It was a-a tiny mistake that... that just happened that one weekend." "But... but I'm glad I'm telling you this now." "You had sex with my mom." " I'm..." "I'm glad I'm getting this off my chest, 'cause I don't want to hide this from you anymore and..." "you sex with my mom?" "!" "Why are you telling me this?" "!" "I was under the assumption that we are going to be honest with each other." " Not about this!" " About everything." "Sweetheart, what's going on?" "Oh." "Grace." "Don't leave!" "Grace!" "No, I know, sweetie." "I know." "Well, why don't you try to talk to her?" "Okay." "No, I understand." "Well, try to get some rest tonight, and we'll talk in the morning, okay?" "I love you, too." "All right, good night." "I've made up the couch." "You're kidding." "It's for me." "I'll sleep downstairs." "Maren." "Wait a minute." "How is she?" "Well, she is very upset." "Does she hate me?" "I've been saving the good stuff for a, uh, special occasion." "You fucked harry." "Truly sorry." " You fucked your daughter's boyfriend." "You fucked your daughter's boyfriend." "That's... stop it." "I can't help it." " It's amazing." "That's just..." "how could you do that to dad?" "You're right." "I'm sorry." "Dad's perfect." "What are you saying?" "I knew it." "I knew something was going on with you guys." "We screwed up, sweetie." "We both screwed up." "We took each other for granted." "You know, people think just because you have kids, you somehow know what you're doing." "As if having a family makes you perfect, right?" "It doesn't." "It's hard." "It's hard work." "And I'm not saying having an affair is the answer, because it's not." "Sometimes it takes almost losing something to make you remember why you left it in the first place." "Sweetie, I know you care about him." "All he did was tell you the truth." " Every time I open myself up to him, he hurts me." "Whether it's him..." "Telling me about you or writing me an e-mail to break up with me." "I wrote that." "It wasn't supposed to get sent." "That... that part was an accident, but... but I wrote it." "He was gonna tell you everything." "And I..." "I-I-I panicked." "I love you so much." "And I-I-I couldn't bear the thought of hurting you, and, of course, then I ended up hurting you, and..." "I am so sorry." "That is so fucked up." "So fucked up." "Look." "He wanted to be with you so bad that he was willing to risk losing you." "So?" "I... what do you want me to do?" "I don't know what to do." " I'm saying do what makes you happy." " Whoo!" "It's okay." "It's okay." "Just getting warmed up." "You are just getting warmed up." "Whoo!" "Yes!" "Whoo!" "Yeah!" "That's how you do it!" "You're the man!" "Whoo!" "Yeah!" " Hey, you ready to make it happen, harry?" " Okay, look, before you close the door in my face, 'cause I know you're mad and you probably don't want me here right now, just let me get this off my chest." "I've been thinking a lot about you and me and..." "I can't believe we haven't had sex." "Well, what are you waiting for?" "¶ All that I ask from you ¶" "¶ oh, baby, is the truth ¶" "¶ cruel to be kind, baby ¶" "¶ I ain't afraid of the blues ¶" "¶ 'cause I've been down this road before ¶" "¶ and I'd rather less than more of nothin' ¶" " ¶ nothin', nothin', nothin', nothin' ¶" "¶ oh, baby, are you blind?" "¶" "¶ don't you know that it's a crime ¶" "¶ in this more-of-nothin' world we live ¶" "¶ to have a more-of-nothin' love to give?" "¶" "¶ I'm out fighting' it every day ¶" "¶ and, honey, there's just no way ¶" "¶ I'm comin' home to more of nothin' ¶" "¶ nothin', nothin', nothin' ¶" "¶ no, no, no, no, no ¶" "¶ and I think you confused me ¶" "¶ confused me ¶" "¶ with one of those girls ¶" "¶ you run around with ¶" "¶ baby, I ain't trying to be ¶" "¶ trying to be ¶" " ¶ your next little thing, starlet ¶" "¶ I want a love that's deep ¶" "¶ and you keep buyin' cheap ¶" "¶ you're buyin' more of nothin' ¶" "¶ nothin', nothin', nothin' ¶" "¶ nothin' ¶" " ¶ yes, well, the years have all gone by ¶" "¶ and they've taken us ¶" "¶ they've taken us for a very long ride ¶" "¶ some of us have come and gone ¶" "¶ the rest of us have tried to carry on ¶" "¶ ooh ¶" " ¶ yeah, well, the years have come and gone ¶" "¶ and what have we ¶" "¶ what have we all really done, babe?" "¶" "¶ some of us have come and gone ¶" " ¶ the rest of us will try to carry on ¶" " ¶ and silently, the years go by ¶" "¶ and they take you for a ride ¶" "¶ you were there, now you're not there ¶" "¶ you're no longer by my side ¶" "¶ and I, I don't know ¶" "¶ if this ride is still for me ¶" " ¶ I remember some time long ago ¶" "¶ when I saw your hair ¶" "¶ it was glistening all aglow ¶"