"MAN:" "All right, we're at scene B. We're in the living room." "Settle, please." "Ready, Ed?" "And action." "MAN #2:" "Don't argue with me, Sharon." "I don't want to hear it." "I know what I saw." "That girl is out of control." "I came in here, I found my sweet darling daughter making out on the couch with that Martin kid." "It was horrific." "I haven't seen that much tongue since your Uncle Morty's last seder." "WOMAN:" "Excuse me, Ed, but I seem to recall you throwing that tongue around pretty good when we were dating." "I have no memory of that." "When we were first together," "I was always the perfect gentleman." "It wasn't about sex." "It was about romance." "Yeah, I remember the romance." "Our first kiss was in a dark alley behind a bad Mexican restaurant." "That was very romantic- the cool night air, the starry sky." "The snow-covered dumpster." "There was no dumpster." "Ed, we were standing right next to it." "I do not remember a dumpster." "That would explain why I get so excited whenever we have chimichangas." "Ah." "MAN:" "Okay, guys, moving on." "Scene E- we're over here at airport security." " Taylor?" " Shit." " Hey." "Hey." " You ran right out of there." "Yeah, I wasn't running." "I was walking." "Pretty good for Wednesday." "Yeah." "Yeah, I thought so." " Really?" " Nah." "Of course not." "It was shit." "We'll fix it." " Where are you going?" " Dentist." " Ooh!" "Ouch." " Yeah." "That's gonna hurt." "Listen, Taylor, I just want to give you the head's up." "Ed's unhappy." "He's been calling Carrie." "He says you're ignoring him." "Jesus Christ, I'm in there five times a day holding his hand, listening to all his lame-ass joke pitches, all that crap about solar energy for the umpteenth time." "Yeah, well, he's the star of your show so you can't just ignore him." "And he's godfather to one of Carrie's kids, you know." "Like I give a shit." "Listen, you remind Begley that before I came on board, no one was watching this show." "Last time I looked, we're like 26th in the ratings." "Oh, when was that?" "'Cause last week you were in the low 50s." "Think I care about the ratings?" "Listen, can we talk about this some other time?" "Taylor, I don't want to be a dick." "No, it's okay." "You can't help yourself." "Look." "You need this job." "After your spectacular flameout a couple of seasons ago, people weren't exactly lined up to hire you." "Now, if this was maybe my last chance at the business," "I think that I'd be kissing my star's ass as often as was necessary." "Yeah." "Enjoy the dentist." "TAYLOR:" "What are you doing?" "Hit him off the rail!" "Come on!" "Come on, come on!" "Hit him." " Hey, Honey." " Hi, you." "How's it going?" "How was your run-through?" "Well, if they ever put together a tribunal for crimes against comedy," "I'm fucked." " What's up?" " Nothing." "Just paying some bills." "Where are you?" " Work." " I just called the office." "They said you were gone." "Ah, well, I'm at the network." "Actually, I'm about to head into a meeting." "Hey, I'm in here." " Are you using the phone?" " I'm using a phone." "Do you mind?" "Open that door!" "I gotta make a phone call." "Hon- honey?" " Who was that?" " Honey, I'm gonna" "I'm gonna actually- I'm gonna call you back, okay?" "Open the door!" "I gotta make a phone call!" "I'll call you right back." " Hello?" " Sorry, honey." " Hi." "So you're at the network?" " Yup." "Can you- can you not sweep right now?" "Yes, I am." "What's up?" "My sister called." "She wants us to go out there later." "Some kind of family emergency." "Well, so we have to drive all the way out to the desert?" "She says she needs to talk to me in person." "Do you think you can be home by 5:00, 5:30?" "Hang- hang on a second." "Sir, can you please?" "Please?" "Honey, I'm" " I'm really up to my ass here, you know?" "I've got this meeting to do." "I have a rewrite." "Are you in a bathroom?" "Yes." "Yes, they do have bathrooms at the network, you know." "Not all the shit ends up on the schedule." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Are you at the track?" "Lorraine." "Lorraine, I am not gambling." "I haven't made a bet in weeks, possibly a month." "Okay." "I'm doing what you wanted." "I'm not gambling." "I'm seeing that guy." "I'm sorry." " I mean, come on. /i Give me a break." "I know, I'm sorry." "Do you think you can be home by 5:00?" "5:30." "I'll try." " I love you." " I love you too." "Uh, you're breaking up, sweetheart." "I'll check in with you later, all right?" "Just sweep." "Go, number one!" "Number three, die!" "One, go!" "Go, one!" "Oh, number one!" "Oh, fuck." "Oh, fuck you" "MAN:" "Taylor, why do you bet on the horses?" "TAYLOR:" "I don't know." "I guess I like the challenge of it." "Go to the track, race form under your arm, it's nine races and thousands of possibilities." "I like the whole experience, really." "The horses, the puzzle of it, the people." "I just love it." "I really do." "When was the last time you went to the track?" "It's been a while." "Do you think you're ready to give it up?" "Totally?" "Total abstinence is the only effective course of treatment with horse-race gamblers." "Look- look, I used to drink." "I used to do drugs." "I stopped." "I've been clean for almost two years." "My work was- I had to stop." "But the track?" "Who am I hurting?" "I earn enough money." "You don't think it's destructive?" "I've already quit enough stuff." "I don't want to give up everything." "Then why are you here?" "My wife thinks I need to talk to somebody." "What's the point of talking if you have no intention of quitting?" "Taylor?" "Is that clock right?" "Because I..." "Think our 50 minutes are up." "Hit him, hit him, hit him!" "Hit him!" "Oh, God, no no no." "Oh, God." "Shit." "What's the matter?" "I'm only 10 minutes late." "That's not so bad considering the day I had." "Dr. Chase says hello, by the way." "Hello, Dr. Chase." "Is it something I did?" "I just" "I went to that new organic market next to the coffee place." "Okay." "And as I was leaving, I bumped into Nancy Karos." "And we're talking, and she asked me what you were working on and I told her and then she said- this is unbelievable, she said, "You're kidding me." "That show sucks. "" " Mm-hmm, well..." " Well, I went off on her and I was yelling and I think I used the C word." " Holy shit." " Yeah." "And then she, like, put her hand on my shoulder and I pushed her and she fell... into some gourds- into a gourd display." "The C word?" "Wow." "I'm guessing we won't be invited to their Fourth of July thing this year." "No." "I was shaking the whole way home." "Honey- honey, you're very loyal and I love you for it." "But the show does suck." "But you're making it better." "Nobody messes with my man." "I'll wait for you downstairs." "Damn it!" "I'll get you, you little prick!" "God!" "Squirrels." "Goddamn useless... they bury shit all over the place." "They tear up my yard." "Assholes!" "Ha!" "Dad said "asshole. "" "I don't know what it's like where you are, but around here it's a serious problem." "Well, what can you do?" "I can blow their fuckin' little furry heads off, is what I can do." "Larry, you might want to keep your voice down." "I think the boys can hear you." "Do you have kids?" "Then don't tell me how to behave around mine." "Let's go." "Hey, you want another beer?" " No." "No, this is" " Oh, lemonade." " Yeah." " Right." "Sorry." "God, must be tough." " Not drinking." " It's been about two years." "Dad Dad Dad!" "Can we shoot?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Just, you know, be careful." "And if you aim at each other, lower body only." " No faces." " Okay!" "You can't catch me!" " How's your show going?" " Great." "I don't watch it." "Uh, I would, but..." "I don't need my boys exposed to all that sex and foul language." "Yeah, I get that." "Uh, they're not killing each other, are they?" "You can't kill anybody with an air pistol." "Well, you know, maybe if you got up real close and pumped one right in the eye." "That's the trouble with you liberals." "Hey, you get all nervous around guns." "Just guns in the hands of third graders." "Boys, damn it!" "No, that is coming out of your allowance!" "He complains about the foul language in the show." "Meanwhile, he's back there in front of his kids yelling, "Fuck the squirrels" at the top of his lungs." "The boys are running around doing the first 20 minutes of "Saving Private Ryan. "" "Well, people take different approaches to parenting." "Yeah, well, I just don't think it's right to raise children whose inner sense of security depends on whether or not they have a full clip handy." "They're having trouble with Amanda." "That's the big emergency?" " She's in Las Vegas with some boyfriend." " Well, how old is she?" " 20." " That seems all right." " She's working as a prostitute." "What?" "She's working as a what?" "She's working as a prostitute." " Holy shit!" " Shh!" "Are you kidding?" "She's a prostitute?" "A hooker?" "Yes." "Keep your voice down." "Get in the car." "Wait a minute, my 20-year-old niece is working as a hooker?" "Get in the car!" "Amanda called a couple of months ago all excited about this job she got dancing." " In a show?" " No, some club." "Ah, well, I could have told you right there." "You see, in Vegas, dancing is a euphemism for stripping." "And stripping is a euphemism for hooking." "Okay." "So Amanda had this friend, Lauren." "And she went out to Las Vegas and stayed with Amanda for a few days." "And she was so worried, she called Karen." "And she told her that she thinks Amanda might be on drugs." "And she told her that Amanda was being a hooker?" "How does she know?" "Amanda just came out and said it." "I guess she has a lot of money and a new house." "And, Taylor, you can't tell anybody about this because Karen doesn't want it spread around." "I'm sure they're probably saving it for that idiotic Christmas letter they write every year." ""Donny's in third grade." "Larry, Jr." "Just got his gun permit and Amanda's in Vegas with some strange guy's baby batter in her hair. "" " Uh, that's" " Don't do that." "I'm driving." " That's not funny." " Don't hit when I'm driving." "Listen, Karen wants to get Amanda into rehab and there's this place in Malibu" "Clark" " Clark Baron Chrysalis Center." " I've heard of it." " It's in "people" every other week." "They mostly deal with young people." "It's a six-week program and I said we would pay for it." " How much?" " $15,000." "Okay." "How do they intend to get her there?" "They're hoping she's gonna want to go." "Oh, yeah, 'cause everybody wants to go to rehab." "Rehab's about the happiest place on earth right- right behind Disneyland." "You know, will you just please stop it?" "Because you're not helping." "I need a cigarette." "I don't think there- I don't thing there are any in there." "What are these?" " Oh, those." "Those are- they're old." " Today's the 14th." " They're from months ago." " These are from today." "Uh, I'm not sure." "Jesus, Taylor." "I asked you, were you at the track." "Well, when you asked, I wasn't." "When did you go?" "Before or after you session with Dr. Chase?" "Can you turn the car around?" "It's just a few bets." "It's no more than $200 tops." "Turn the car around." "All right, I made a mistake." "But I've been doing much better." "It was only a matter of time until I slipped up, right?" " You lied to me." " Lorraine." "Lorraine, don't do this." "Don't do this" " I don't see the problem." "Yeah, I know you don't." "There's this thing," "Taylor, in a marriage called "trust. "" "You and I, after so many years of your lies and your bullshit, we don't have a lot of it left." " I'm sorry." " Yeah, because you got caught." "'Cause you're in trouble." "Just go home." "Lorraine." " Go home and figure out what you really want." "Hey." "Hey, honey, thanks for picking up." "Well, what I want is to say that I'm an asshole." "But I'm gonna make it up to you." "And I'm gonna prove to you once and for all that I can control the gambling." "I'm going to Vegas" "Hello?" "Hello?" " Let me finish." "I'm going to Vegas and" "Please let me finish." "I'm leaving first thing in the morning." "I'm going to find Amanda and I'm gonna take her to rehab." "And while I'm in Las Vegas, I'm not gonna gamble one cent." "Damn it!" "God damn it." "Okay, listen and don't hang up." "I made a mistake, yes." "But I'm gonna do this thing for Amanda because- because you are everything to me." "You- you're my whole life and I love you." "And- and if I lose you, I've" "I've got nothing." "Okay?" "Why are you answering her phone, Larry?" "Just tell her to call me." "MAN SINGING:" "¶ there's everywhere else ¶" "¶ and then there's Vegas ¶" "¶ anywhere else just don't fit the bill ¶" "¶ you travel the world ¶" "¶ and then there's Vegas ¶" "¶ you feel like a king ¶" "¶ king of the whole damn hill... ¶" "Asshole!" "¶ Boston's got her beans... ¶" " It's okay." "Sorry." " Thank you." " ¶ Pittsburgh, she's got steel ¶" "¶ they won't set your heart to racing' ¶" "¶ like a spin of the wheel ¶" "¶ there's everywhere else ¶" "¶ and then there's Vegas, baby ¶" "¶ there's nowhere else ¶" "¶ no place I'd rather be... ¶" "Good to see you, Mr. Mendon." "¶ there's everywhere else ¶" "¶ and then there's Vegas, baby ¶" "¶ ain't no place, no place- ¶" "This isn't your usual suite, Mr. Mendon." "No problem." "It's fine." "You can just put that anywhere." "Now you've got the new plasma screens in every room." "And there's a little one in the bathroom." "Great." "It's perfect." "You can drop that anywhere." "You haven't been here in a while, huh?" "I've been busy with the show." " Which one is it again?" " "Those MacAllisters. "" "Oh, yeah." "That show's great." "You get a bigger tip if you tell me what you really think." "Oh, no." "No, I like it." "It's good..." "If you like crap." "'Cause it's a total piece of shit." "Probably the biggest piece of shit in the history of" "Okay okay, you got greedy." "You had the hundred but you blew it." "Kidding." "Hey, well, thanks, Mr. Mendon." " And welcome back." " WOMAN:" "Knock knock." " If there's anything else you want me to do..." " Thanks." " I heard you were here." "I came right up with extra pillows." "Oh, you're too good to me, Sally." " Sharon." " Oh, I remember." "Did I leave you a good tip last time?" "I think so." " Well, if you're not sure, it wasn't big enough." "I'm gonna leave you a very nice tip this visit." "Oh, I don't expect anything, Mr. Mendon." "It's gonna be big, so get ready." "I feel lucky." "I would like $15,000 in cash and you can hold the rest." "Hopefully I won't need it." "Ooh, gosh, I sure hope not." "I'm gonna need my supervisor's approval on this, Mr. Mendon." "Why?" "Why?" "I'm a regular- I'm a regular player here." "We need approval on anything over $10,000 and this is way over that amount." "Marty?" "He's busy right now." "Can you wait two seconds?" "Is Michael Henry here?" "Taylor, can I tell you something?" "You know these people?" "They're all about the money." "They don't see beyond that." "They don't care about this." "What is that?" "The relationship." "This relationship right here." "Oh." "This relationship right here, this is real." "The rest of it, as far as I'm concerned- bullshit." "Michael, what is the issue?" "Um, we had that situation last time you were here" "I hesitate to even call it a situation- that minor non-event." "I don't remember that." "The check that bounced." "That was my business manager's fault." "I told you that." "I explained that." "Hey hey, you're preaching to the choir." "You're the preacher, I'm up in the loft." "I got the music, I'm singing." "And I'm also listening and I'm understanding." "And I'm in complete agreement." " Hey, Michael." " Hey, look at you!" "Look how hot you are!" "I can feel the heat way over here!" "You bastard!" "My eyebrows are almost completely burned off." "That guy's a complete prick." "No, he and I- we don't have this." "This is what I have with him." "Well, that looks like what we have." "What?" "God, no no." "Look at this." "This only goes one way." "Look, it's me giving." "Giving." "It looks the same to me." "No no, we- we have this." " See, there it is, Daddy." " 'Kay." "I still don't understand." "Listen," "Do you guys not want my action here?" "Is that what it is?" "No no, it's not that." "No." "'Cause just tell me, Michael." "Because if that's true, I'll go across the street right now." "You know how much money I lose." "They'd be thrilled to have me." "Okay, now you're hurting me." "I'll handle these pricks." "You're good to go." "Go on, go get you some money and start having some fun." "ANNOUNCER:" "As they come into the stretch," "Dugal on the inside, Cootie Booton on the outside." "Dugal finding more of the rail but here comes Cootie Booton." "Cootie Booton's finding another gear." "Nose to nose with Dugal." "Here comes the wire." "Cootie Booton in front." "A desperate last lunge from Dugal." "Dugal wins by a nose!" "Cootie Booton an unlucky second." "And a long way back to Hankus Maximus III with Mr. Charlie rounding out..." "TAYLOR:" "Come on, three." "There you go." "Come on, three." "Go, three." "Go, three." "Go, three." "Go, three!" "No, six- three." "No six- three." "Three three three!" "Where's the wire- the wire?" "Where is the wire?" " Three." " That's the winner." "ANNOUNCER:" "And as they head down the back stretch" "The first time in their mile-and-three-quarters journey..." "WOMAN:" "Cocktails." "Cocktails." " Miss?" " What can I get you?" "You have" " Do you have Jameson's?" " Yeah." "I'll take a diet coke." "And the Jameson's?" "No, just the coke." "Uh, diet." "You have lettuce on you." "Oh, it's this shirt." "It came that way." "Cocktails." "Cocktails." "ANNOUNCER:" "And that's all from Hapsburg, Pennsylvania." "First post tomorrow at 7:00 a." "M." "Drive safely and good night." "Hello?" " LORRAINE:" "So you actually went?" "Yeah." "How are you?" " I'm home." " Good." "There were quite a few calls from work today." "I guess you didn't tell anyone you were running off." "They camera-blocked all day." "They didn't need me." "If they call again, tell them I'll be back by show time tomorrow night." "Or I'll call them." "Yeah, I'll be back." "Don't worry." "How much have you lost?" "Honey- honey, this is not about gambling." "I told you." "Even if I wanted to gamble, where would I get the money?" "I don't have an ATM card." "I don't have my checkbook." "I don't have any access to cash." "This is not about gambling." "Hello?" "Do you know where the Aztec Casino is?" "The Aztec?" "What, you mean like the Indians?" "LORRAINE:" "I spoke to Lauren a little while ago" " Amanda's friend." "She said that's the name of the casino" "Where Amanda hangs out to do her work." "If you're really serious about finding her, you might want to start there." "Cocktails." "Cocktails." "What can I get you?" "Club soda." "WAITRESS:" "cocktails?" "Interesting theme for a casino." "You know, the Aztecs performed human sacrifices." "That's one of the reasons they were wiped out by Cortez" " and the conquistadors." " I wouldn't know." "We don't get a lot of 'em in here." "Right." "So- so listen, I'm in town by myself." "Okay." "And, you know how it is." "It gets- gets a little lonely at night." "Sure." "So I was hoping to find some company." " Company?" " Right." "You're asking me about some company?" "Right." "I get off at 2:00." "I don't kiss, I don't call you "sweetheart" or "darling,"" "And I don't take it in the ass." "Oh now, hold on." "Cash only." "No, I'm looking for a girl." "I don't do three-ways." "No, just a girl." "I'm looking for just a girl." "Oh." "Check over by the elevators." "Thanks." "I'm super-hung if it makes any difference." "It doesn't." "Oh, fine." "You and your friend, you're not gonna leave me alone, are you?" " No?" "MAN:" "We appreciate it, though." " Have fun." " You guys." "Hey, stud, how" "Oh my God." "Oh, my gosh!" " Hi, stranger." " Uncle Taylor!" "What are you doing here?" "Well, you know, me and Aztecs." "How's Aunt Lorraine?" "Is she here?" "No, she's home." "This is- well, this is a nice surprise." "Yeah." "So do you want to go and talk someplace?" "You know, catch up?" "Um, yeah, I would love that." "I just" " I really can't right now." "Can you take a break?" "I can't." "Slow night." "Gotta make the rent." "Hi, sweetheart." "I love your shirt." "Go down on me for free, it's yours." "Guys, guys, is that really necessary?" "It's okay." "That was rude." "Um, listen, Uncle Taylor, I really need you to, um..." "I know what you're doing, Amanda." "What?" "I know what you're doing here." "Yeah, I think everyone knows what I'm doing here." "You don't care?" "Why should I care?" "It's my job." "Shit." "This asshole." "Hi." "This young lady bothering you, sir?" "No." "Thank you for asking." "I'm not talking to you, am I, sweetheart?" "No, I'm fine." "This is my niece." "Oh, really?" "Never heard that one before." "You a guest at the hotel?" "No, I'm staying at the" "Feel free to enjoy the casino," "But elevators are for hotel guests, okay?" " Thanks." " Okay." "Prick." "Give him 20 bucks, he doesn't hassle you for a couple hours." "So, can we talk?" "Listen, I really gotta go." "Okay?" " What time do you get off?" " Um, one more customer." " Can you hang?" " Sure." "All right, I'll meet you out front by Azi." " Who?" " The big statue guy in the lobby." " Great." "Okay." " Okay?" "Bye." " Howdy, you." " Hey, gorgeous." " What are you doing tonight?" " I'm not doing nothing." "Or nobody." "Oh, well, we're gonna have to change that now, won't we?" "Ooh wee!" "Ah!" "So, where are you from, cowboy?" "I'm from Burbank, Californ-ay-a!" "They got real cowboys in Burbank." "Do they really?" "Well, I got my boots on!" "This is a nice car." "Thank you." "I just got it." "Isn't that the best smell?" "It's the best smell." "I mean, it probably causes cancer, but all the good stuff does." "Yep." "Cigarettes, asbestos, high-tension power lines." "Soon there'll be nothing left to enjoy." "So, where do you want to talk?" "Oh, I know a place." "I just have to go home and change first." "And you have to see my house." "Oh, my gosh, my gorgeous, fabulous house." "I love it so much." "Greg?" "Baby?" "Hello?" "Where should I put these?" "Oh, just over here by the door." "Trying to keep the carpet nice." "Come on in." "Isn't it perfect?" "Everything in here is just perfection." "Well, except for that lamp because it looks perfect, but it's a little high and the wall's a little low." "And so, 'cause the lamp is high, it doesn't really- do you know what I mean?" "Anyway, I'm gonna take it back in the next couple weeks anyway, so" "Okay, I'm gonna go pee." "You stay here, make yourself cozy." "Be right back." "Don't tell me to shut up." "Why do you have to be so mean?" "Who are you?" "I came with Amanda." "She's in the bathroom." "Better not be a fuckin' john." "No, I'm her Uncle." " Hi." " Get out." "I am going." "You are such an asshole." "Just go." "Call me." " You're the television guy?" " Guilty." " Amanda!" " Oh, hi, baby." "I'll be right out." "Oh, you guys, I have a really great idea." "I'll be two seconds." "You can tell Amanda about the girl if you want." "It's no big deal." "Oh, no, I'm not planning on" "You can if you want to." "No big secret." " It's none of my business." " She knows about the other chicks." "Is there more than one?" "Oh, yeah." "Yeah." "Just the way it has to be." "I don't follow that." "Amanda's out banging all these strange guys all the time." "I gotta deal with that, you know?" "So I bang other chicks." "It keeps it equal." "Keep the playing field flat, you know?" " Flat." " I see." "Yeah." "Don't say anything about the girl." " I thought you just said" " Just keep your fucking mouth shut." " Hi, baby." " Hi, baby." "Hi." "Mmm, I missed you." " Hi." " Okay, that's enough." "Look at my big man." "Isn't he gorgeous?" "So gorgeous." "Hey, we're gonna go someplace and hang out." "You wanna come?" "Oh, no no." "Babe, I'm real tired." "Greg, damn it!" "Coaster." "I'm sorry, I forgot." "I'm trying to keep things nice around here." " I mean, fuck me." " I'm sorry." "Christ." "No no no, I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "He endures my little outbursts." "Don't you, baby?" "Greg is going to school." "Tell him." "Refrigeration." "Learn the heating and cooling business." "My focus is more on cooling." "So, a lot of money in that?" "Coolness?" "Global warming?" "Ever hear of it?" "What an idiot." "I forgot to tell you about my brilliant idea." "You should come over tomorrow night and I'll cook dinner." " That'd be nice." " Yeah?" "You'll be home." "Right, baby?" "I guess." "I might be tired." "Oh, no no." "You'll be fine." "Come on." "Okay, now I have to plan a menu." "Oh, I'm so excited." "Okay, I'm gonna go change." "You guys bond." "You could tell Amanda about the girl if you want." "But don't." "I'm fuckin' serious, asshole." "Did you love Greg?" "Don't you just love him?" "He's so hot." "Don't you think he's hot?" "Yes, he's hot." "Hot and sociopathic." " What?" " Nothing." "He's very very hot." "He doesn't mind your chosen profession?" "Why should he?" "My profession pays for his school, his clothes and his brand-new truck." "I keep my boy very happy." "Where are we going?" "Oh, I know a place up the strip that doesn't card me." "But we got to make one more stop first." "Is the car gonna be okay here?" "Oh, yeah, sure." "How about us?" "So, anyway, I came here- it was, like, last year and I got a job at the International House of Pancakes." " Do you know it?" " Yeah." "Yeah, I usually say IHOP, 'cause it's shorter, but I wasn't sure if you'd heard of it." "Oh, well, it lists both names in Zagat, so I'm good." "So, anyway, my friend Michelle- she worked with me but she was a hostess- she got this job dancing at this club." " Dancing?" " Stripping." "She was making huge money, no taxes." " Everything under the table." " Including Michelle, no doubt." "Oh, poor guy." " I hate to see that." " Mmm." "So, anyway, she introduces me to the owner of the club." "Before you know it, I'm dancing." " Stripping?" " Yeah." "And you just started, just like that?" "Well, you don't really need a lot of training to strip." "I mean, I've taken off my clothes every night before I go to bed." "You know?" "Oh, my gosh!" " What was that?" " I don't know." "Shit." "Scared me." " Did you see me jump?" " Just keep walking." "Oh my God." "So, yeah, no training." "Except I took a pole-dancing seminar once." " That's it." " They have seminars in pole dancing?" "Yeah, at the local community college." "Isn't Vegas the best?" "I killed at the club." "I had this whole "Sweet Young Thing" working for me." "Every guy who pays for a blowjob wants to get it from a girl who looks like she's never given one before." "That's my look." " You do remember I'm your uncle, right?" " Yeah?" " Hi." " Is Link here?" " You picking up?" "Yeah, he knows." "Shut the door." "This will only take two seconds." "Cool." " Hey, you want some?" " Uh, no." "No, thanks." "I'm" " I'm married." " Really?" " Yeah." "Oh, so is she." " That's nice, to have something in common." "WOMAN ON TV:" "My mouth's watering already." "Okay, you can come back now." "Yeah." "Enjoy." "Here's your pony, sweetness, all saddled up and ready to ride." " Thank you, sir." " You're welcome." "You'll love it." " Hey, how's B.V.?" " He's great." "Good." "Good, you tell him it should be ready by the end of the week." "Okay." "Hey, what's with Principal Skinner?" "He's cool." "He's my uncle." " No shit?" " Yeah." "No, none at all." "Hi." "Hey." "Hey, your uncle?" "Wow." "I had an uncle once." "Or I killed some gook's uncle in 'Nam." "I can't remember which." " How's it going?" " Good." " You?" " Well, I got no legs." "I got no balls." "I piss out of a tube." "How the fuck do you think it's going?" "Right, but getting the good parking spaces must take some of the sting out of it." "You're funny." "He's funny." "You're funny." "Thank you." "Good to meet you." "Good to meet you." "I'd like to introduce you to my better half." "Unfortunately, it got blown off 10 kliks out the Haiphong." "You were in the shit?" "Up to my neck, sweetie." "Up to my neck." "Hey, you want something?" " No, I'm good." " Come on!" "You're in Vegas, queer-bait." "Loosen up a little." "Good point." "You have any pot?" "Pot?" "Who the fuck smokes pot anymore?" "Pot?" "Hell, they ought to take pot, they ought to hang it on the wall of a museum somewhere." "That's how old pot is." "Pot is old, motherfucker." "So you don't have any?" "Oh." "Hey, TJ?" "Yeah?" "Hey, go around back." "See if my mom's up." "Pot." "This pot is terrible." "It's all stems and seeds." "Link's a good guy, but that stuff in 'Nam?" "Never happened." "I don't even think it's pot." " Might be marjoram." " When he was 15, he got drunk one night and a train ran him over and cut him in half." "Can you imagine that?" "Getting cut in half by a train?" "That would suck." "Beats getting cut in thirds." " What did you get?" " Oh, it's not for me." "I have this friend, she's an addict and she got busted a couple times, so I buy for her." "A little less every other week." " Not for you?" " I think I just said that." "We have to make one more stop." "Isn't Kyoki great?" "She's, like, the best scrabble player ever." "What do you want for our dinner?" " What?" " Tomorrow night." " Uh, is chicken okay?" " Oh, yeah, chicken's fine." " I see a pretty lady." " Amanda!" " Hi, cutie." " Special delivery." "Life saver." "Totally serious." " What's on your ass?" " Oh, I know." "Isn't it awful?" "I'm nairing my butt." "Nair- the hair removal shit." "Yeah." " I came in tonight, looked in the mirror." "There was this long, huge hair growing out of the side of my ass." " Gross." " I know!" "I started thinking, "I can see that one. "" "Who knows how many more there are back there?" "I didn't want to risk it." "I'm nairing the whole thing." " Oh." " Howdy." " Hello, hi." " Trick?" " My uncle." " Oh." "Sweet." " This is Whisper." " Hello, Whisper." " Emory." " Oh, is Emory your real name?" "No." "I love this girl." "She is so great." " I'm blushing." " I mean it." "Most of these girls, they're just total cunts." "You want to smash their heads in with a fucking rock." "Makes me sick thinking about you with that guy." "Greg's nice." "Honey, nothing on this planet with a cock attached to it is nice!" "Watch your language, lady." " Sorry." " That's okay." "I'm still back on that "cunts and rocks. "" " Saw B.V." " I know!" " Looking good." " He's gotten even bigger than before!" "I didn't think it was possible." " It's disgusting!" " He's huge." "He picked me up once..." " Cheers." " Cheers." "Club soda." "Why don't you just kill yourself?" "It's next on my list." " What?" " I can't get over it." " The hooker thing." " Are you okay?" "I have a home for the first time in my life." "You had a home when you were a kid." "My parents split and I went to go live with my dad and he married Janine, who's this total psychotic bitch Nazi vegan who hates me." "So then I went to go live with my mom," " and she married Larry." " Well, Larry's okay." "Well, okay, go on." "Yeah." "And then I went to go back and live with my dad and that sucked, and then his brother started raping me, which really sucked." " Raping you?" " Whoa, there's a table." " Here- we can sit down." " Raping you?" "Your- your father's - your father's brother raped you?" "Uh, my Uncle Bobby?" "Yeah." "He raped you?" "Yeah, for, like, eight months." "Jesus." "It's old news." "I thought I was a shitty uncle." "Look, it doesn't matter." "I'm here now, I'm happy." "And I have the perfect home." "Yeah, but look what you have to do to get it." "It doesn't matter." "I mean, the minute I walk through that door, all the sadness and all the bullshit stays outside." "And everybody needs that." "You know, after a day of doing whatever horrible, awful thing you got to do to make money, you need a place to go where it's quiet and you can just remember who you really are." "And the terrible, awful thing you do- you don't have any options?" "Yeah." "Yeah, sure, I could go back to IHOP." "I could work there for a whole month, with overtime, or I could do eight or nine guys over a weekend" "And make the exact same amount." "What would you do?" "Uh, eight guys, fine." "More than that," "I would worry I was in it for something more than the money." "You really don't feel exploited?" "All I know is, after 20 minutes- usually less," "I got it all:" "I got their money, I got their gratitude." "So what if I have to let them jizz on my tits to get it?" "What?" "It's just not every uncle who gets to hear his niece say "jizz" and "tits" in the same sentence." "I" " I need a little air." "TAYLOR:" "So listen, Amanda, the reason I'm in town- your mom and your aunt asked me to come because they're worried about you." "They're thinking maybe you have a drug problem or something." "I don't." "Okay." "There's a rehab place in Malibu" "It's called the Clark-something Center." "The Clark" " Clark Baron." "Yeah, it's Clark Baron." "You see it in "people" magazine?" "Well, we got you a room there with a view of the canyon" "What are you laughing at?" "This is perfect." "You telling me to go to rehab?" "Why is that so strange?" "Hello, my mom and your wife are sisters." "They talk." "I know about your gambling problem and your drinking problem and your drug problem." "Well, those are not issues for me anymore." "I know all about you puking at the Emmy's a couple years ago, and how you lost $150,000 in three days at the racetrack." "She's talking about somebody else." "Do you have any ketchup for these?" "And how you got fired from that hit show because you were so fuckin' loaded the whole time." "Hello?" "You're, like, 50 years old." " I'm 43." " And you can't carry a checkbook" "Or credit cards?" "I mean, what's with that?" "My choice." "My therapist's choice, actually." "Because you can't control yourself." "Whenever you need money or a check, you have to ask Aunt Lorraine for it?" " That must suck." " Okay, my life is fucked up." "But it took me 43 years to get here." "Look at you- you're 20 years old." "At this rate, by the time you're my age, you won't be my age because you'll be dead." "I don't need rehab." "I take Extacy, but that's just for my work, to get in the mood, you know?" "But..." " Are you hooked on it?" " No." "Unlike you, I can take something and not become instantly addicted to it." "I'm not an addict." "I'm in recovery." "You're an addict." " I'm getting help." " Because you're an addict." "I'm not an addict." " What is that?" " Extacy." "I don't want it." "No no no, it's not for you." "I just want you to hold onto it for me." "No!" "Because you can't." "Because you know, sooner or later, probably sooner, you're gonna wind up taking it." "Right?" "20 years old, you're so- you're so goddamned smart." "Remember, don't take it." "I'm gonna want it back." "WOMEN SINGING:" "¶ Mr. Rooster ¶" "¶ don't wake me up too early ¶" "¶ we talked all night, my girlie and me ¶" "¶ Mr. Rooster ¶" "¶ don't start no trouble brewing ¶" "¶ no cock-a-doodle dooing ¶" "¶ or red eyes, see ¶" "MAN:" "¶ how about 8:00 o'clock?" "¶" "WOMEN: ¶ don't try it ¶" " ¶ 9:00 o'clock?" "¶ - ¶ no, don't you dare ¶" " ¶ 10:00 o'clock?" "¶ - ¶ I'll start a riot ¶" " ¶ noon?" "¶ - hello?" "Did I wake you?" " Actually, no." " Are you sure?" "Yep, definitely." "I found Amanda." "She's at that place- the Inca." " The Aztec." " Right." " Is she really hooking?" " Yep, she really is." "Oh, God." "Did you talk to her about rehab?" "She's not interested." "Taylor, you have to get her out of there." "Well, I'm having dinner with her tomorrow night" "I mean, tonight." "I'll bring it up again, but I don't think so." "Did you take a check from my checkbook?" " What?" " Did you?" " No." " One's missing." "Well, maybe you used it and forgot about it." "It's missing from the middle of the checkbook." "Well, why are you looking in the middle of your checkbook?" "Habit." "Taylor" "Taylor, if you took the check, just tell me." "Look, I'm- you know, I'm just here trying to help you." "I'm here trying to help your family." "Okay, I'm just telling you, I called the bank" " I put a stop on it." "Well, good." "Good, I mean, if you lose a check, that's what you should do." "I don't see how it concerns me, but that's fine." "Okay." "Good." "Fine." "Call me after you talk to Amanda again." "Right." " 20,000." " Oh, darn." " Things not going too well?" " You guessed." "You'll turn it around, Mr. Mendon." "I have a feeling." "Sign, please." "You playing blackjack?" " Horses." " Ooh, that's fun." "Did you ever see that movie about the horse Seabiscuit?" " Yeah." " That was a great movie." "I think it was called "Seabiscuit," right?" "No, I think it was called" ""Steve, the story of Seabiscuit. "" "Aw!" "That's what I get for asking a comedy writer." "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight" "First race at Belmont- $2,000 to win and place in the two-horse- pass the potatoes." "MAN: all right." "One, two, three" "ANNOUNCER: but look at this, on the far outside," "Pass the Potatoes is making a huge move!" "He's picking off runners one by one." "Pass the Potatoes roars to the front." "The rest of the field looks like- oh oh!" "Pass the Potatoes took a bad step." "Oh, he's toast!" " Cocktails." "Cocktails." " Miss?" "Diet coke?" "Yeah." "And a Jameson's." "A double." "Quickly." " 20,000." " Ooh." "Ooh, hiss." "You're gonna turn it around, Mr. Mendon." "I just know you are." "I have a very strong" "Oh, dear." "Oh, dear?" "What, "Oh, dear"?" "Two seconds." "Marty?" "TAYLOR:" "Okay, here's what probably happened..." "MICHAEL:" "Great." "Go." "The check that my wife wrote before the one that I gave you, she bought a Matisse lithograph from a gallery in Beverly hills." "But when she got it home, there was a mark on the upper left-hand corner- a smudge, so she put a stop on the check." "But the bank obviously made a mistake and put a stop on the next check, which would be the check I gave you guys." "That's the only explanation I can come up with at this moment." "I mean, that's all." "Well, look, I know you're good for the money." "That's not an issue." "But, my bosses, you know, the asshole brigade, a different story." "You have another check?" " I don't." " Okay, again, no issue between us." "But I have to answer to a higher power." "And if the casino gets stuck with this, then they cut off my balls," " throw 'em on the craps table." " You won't get stuck." "I know, I know." "That's not even a concern." "But until this is resolved, I won't be able to give you any more cash." "I'm busted, you know?" "I'm down 60,000." "62,000." " And now you guys won't give me a chance to get even?" " Is that fair?" " It's not me, Taylor." "I've lost a shitload of money in this place the last few years." "And this is how you treat me?" "I mean, come on, Michael." "They're gonna kill me." "I'll give you five." " Five?" " Best I can do." "You're kidding?" "I can lose five walking from here to there." "I have no doubt." "Five grand." "Why don't I just stay and gamble with the old ladies?" "I'm doing you- I'm doing you a favor." " All right." " But now you have to do one for me." "Look, I give you five." "You're down 67." "Get another check." "Have your bank wire the money." " Okay." " End of the day would be great." "If not, first thing tomorrow." "Yeah." "Let's go to the cage." " Five grand?" " You're welcome." " Hey, you!" " Hey." " Hi." " Well, this is a surprise." "Yeah, I was just shopping next door and I figured you'd be here." "Are we still on for dinner tonight?" "Yeah, as long as you're not having horse, I'm looking forward to it." " Good." " Why don't you sit down" " and maybe change my luck?" " Aw!" "Thanks." "Are you drinking?" "I thought you were in recovery?" "Oh, no, that's not mine." "I've been changing seats." " Jameson's?" " No." "You just ordered this, like, two seconds ago." "Thanks." "Wait a minute." "Busted!" "I'm taking a quick break from my recovery." "Cheers!" "Oh, this is sad." "This is so sad." "Two days in Vegas, you're already off the wagon." "And I'm the one who needs rehab?" "How you doing?" "How you doin'?" " Hi." " Remember me?" "No." "I think I told you my name was Mike." "You remember me?" "Sorry." "Come on, we had such a good time," "I gave you an extra 50." "Listen, I'm really busy right now," " so thank you." " Oh oh, sorry, yeah." "Right right, you're working." "Yeah." "And since I don't have my wallet open, you got no use for me" "She doesn't want to talk to you." "She doesn't want to talk to you, okay?" " Hey!" "Hey!" " Huh?" "What?" "Asshole, stay out of this, all right?" " I'm getting security." " This is between the whore and me." " I'm getting security." " No no no." "No, don't." "She sticks her ass in my face for half an hour and now she pretends she doesn't know me." "Oh, wait, I do know you." "I'm sorry." "Yeah, you were the guy with the cock like a roll of dimes." " MAN:" "Oh, look at this." " You don't fuckin' know me!" "Never do that again." "I'll fuckin' kill you!" " You fuckin' asshole!" " Get this fuckin' bitch off me!" " You don't even know my name!" " Jesus, Amanda." " Fuck you!" " Okay okay okay okay!" "Get- enough!" "Enough enough!" "Get her off!" " Enough!" "Stop it!" " Jesus." "Enough!" "If you want to fight, then go somewhere else." " Get off me!" " Back up!" "What's going on?" "Nothing." "It's- it's okay." "Sorry." " She with you?" " Yeah." "Yeah, I'm with him." "I guess that means you can't take me in the back and rough me up, huh?" "I'm gonna go to the bathroom unless you'd like me to piss myself right here." "I'll see you tonight." "Asshole." "She's my niece." "Excuse me?" "Could you get me another Jameson's on the rocks, please?" "You know, why don't you bring me two Jameson's with water?" "That way I won't have to keep bugging you." "Hello?" "Oh, God, I hate this place." "Taylor?" "Hey, how you doin'?" "Hey." "Hey, Tony." "How's things at I.C.M.?" "It's C.A.A. now." "I went over to the dark side about a year ago." "You're out early." "Wedding's not till 7:00." "What wedding?" "Billy Gerald's." "I mean, you worked with him, right?" "Well, he worked for me." "Yeah." "So you're not invited to the, uh...?" "No." "See, I thought that it was weird seeing you here." "You know, Billy's always telling that story about how you pissed in his jacuzzi, some party three years ago." "Never used it again, you know." "Yeah, well, I went through a rough patch back then." "I hear you, pal." "Hey, speaking of rough patches, you got totally boned on the Begley thing." "Guy's a dick." "What are you talking about?" "You don't know?" "Jesus, Taylor." "Sorry." "I just read it." "Johnny" " Johnny, I can't believe you couldn't reach me." "I've been here for two days." "I haven't checked my messages." "I've been dealing with this family thing." "Yes, in Vegas." "I mean, I have to hear about it from fucking Tony Clark?" "What do you mean, have I been talking to C.A.A.?" "This isn't about you." "This is about me getting fired and me finding the story buried on page three." "Yeah, I don't rate the fuckin' cover?" "You know, maybe I should be talking to C.A.A., Johnny." "How about that?" "Yeah, fuck" "Shit." " Here you go." " Smells delicious." "Thank you." "I made the sauce from scratch." "Baby- iPod." " What?" "What?" " Off." "Off." "And please put your napkin on your lap." "Thank you." "It's actually not really from scratch." "It's from a jar, but I added some extra stuff of my own." "I thought we were having chicken?" "We are, but this is the first course." "We're being fancy tonight, baby." " I want chicken." " It's coming." "Eat your pasta." "This is fun." "We should have people over more often." "What's that supposed to mean?" "Nothing." "You told her." "You fuck!" "What are you talking about?" "Thanks a lot, asshole." " I didn't tell her anything." " Oh, yeah?" "I didn't." "Pasta looks good." "What do you think he told me?" "Nothing." "Greg." " Greg?" " I'm eating here." "Can't you see that?" "Jesus, I had a rough day at school." "All I want to do is eat my dinner without people jumping all over my ass." "You're right." "I'm sorry." "Why are you such a nagging bitch all the time?" " He had a girl in the house." " Fuck you." " When?" " Yesterday." "You were up in the bathroom." "Big news." "She knows." "I told him about our deal." "He thinks he's busting my balls." "Go ahead, ask her." "She doesn't fuckin' care, dude." "That's right." "I" " I don't care, unless the girl was inside my home." "Greg, you know the rules!" "It's my home too." "You said." "No, this place is sacred." "Yeah, sacred." "What am I supposed to do?" "Some chick wants to do me, I'm supposed to say we have to go to her place because I'm not allowed to screw chicks in my own home?" "I mean, how do you think that makes me feel?" "Why don't you just cut my balls off?" " Use this." " Fuck you." "Don't talk to my uncle like that." "You're taking his side on this?" "Fuck you too then!" "I mean, come on, baby." "We had a good thing going here." "This guy shows up and it's nothing but trouble." "Okay, um, can we please just talk about something else?" "I just would like to have a nice dinner." "Let's just change the subject." "Fine." "She had her shoes on in the house." "Greg, damn it!" "You know what?" "Fuck this." "Here." "You happy?" " What's the matter with you?" " What's the matter with me?" "My fuckin' dinner's ruined." "That's what's the matter with me." "I didn't even get to eat my chicken." "You know what?" "Fuckin' keep your chicken." "I'm done." "Oh my God!" "No no, don't get up, don't get up." "It'll get on the carpet." "No no no no, baby!" "Um, come back, please please." "Greg!" "I'll get the chicken!" "It's too late!" "Um, I'm sorry." "So much for my fancy dinner." "I'll go get some paper towels." "You fuck this up for me and I'll kill you!" "What are you gonna do?" "Refrigerate me to death?" "Oh." "Oh, shit." "TAYLOR:" "We must do dinner again." "Warn me." "I'll wear my best tarp." "I'm sorry about Greg." "He's just really sensitive." "I got that when he threatened to kill me." "Why are you with that asshole?" "Well, you know how you have this image in your head of the perfect person for you?" "I met Greg, and he was my mental perfect image come to life." "Emphasis on the "mental. "" "You do realize he's not at all perfect?" "When you change out that lamp, you might want to take him along." "What can I say?" "He- he looks right." "You know?" "So maybe if I keep loving him, then he'll be right." "Do you want to gamble?" "Let's go gamble." "You can win me some big money." "Okay, I'll go and change out of these clothes." "Okay." "Well, hurry." "I'll wait here." "I got the fever." " WOMAN:" "Sir?" " A little one." "I'll get it." "Bless you." "60, 20..." "How you liking that recovery break?" "It's been great." "But I've decided I'm going right back to recovery right after my next drink." "Oh." "I gotta make a call." "Okay, but come right back." "We have to talk about rehab again." "Oh, shit." "Shit." " Here you go." " Oh, could you bring me another one?" "Make it a double because I'm going" "I'm going to quit drinking right after." " 'Kay." " Thank you." "Hey, how's it going, handsome?" "Hey, I am handsome." "Uh, is there any news on the money from the bank?" "I don't want to push but they're asking." "Oh, yeah, I'm on it." "I called and they can do a transfer first thing in the morning." "Excellent." "Thank you, sir." "I can get you better." "What do you mean?" "Your little friend?" "I can get you one who's not so trashy." "She's my niece." "I can get you a better niece." "How about a black niece?" "Uh, naughty little Asian niece?" ""Me so horny. "" "Hi, there." " Hi." " Have a good evening." " Who's that?" " Some guy." "Hello." "Are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm" "I didn't sleep much- sleep much last night." "Ah." "Ha ha!" "That was weird." "Oh my God." "You took the X." " No." " Yes, you took it." "No, I did not." " Then give it back to me." " I took it." "I took it." "It's great." "It's really great." "Am I talking loud?" "Is this too loud, how I'm talking now?" "TAYLOR:" "You know, you really really really should take me up on this offer." "It's $15,000, but I think it is- it is so worth it." "'Cause you have to get your life on the right path." "You do." "It's important." "Or you could just fuck it." "You're great, you know?" "You are." "I don't think I've ever told you that before, but you really are." "You are really really- you're great." "Yeah?" "Would you be saying that if you weren't so fucked up?" "Oh, it must be hard being a hooker." "I don't think I could do it." "I think I would rather kill myself." "You know..." "The first time I ever did it," "I was here at this hotel." "These guys came from, like, Iowa or someplace like that for this bachelor party and me and this other girl came over to entertain." "And you could just tell that they'd been talking for months, like, "Oh, dude, we're gonna go to Vegas." "We're gonna get some hookers. "" "They were horrified." "They just stood there and stared at us like we were exhibits at a zoo." "And this one guy, um... he took me into the bathroom, he pushed me down on my knees and he stuck his cock in my mouth." "He came in, like, two seconds." "And he zipped up," "Walked out." "Didn't say one word to me." "You know..." "It's funny." "When you do something like that," "It's who you are for the rest of your life." "You could stop, but... really, what's the point?" "I mean... you're always gonna be that girl... on her knees on the bathroom floor." "And you know it." "Mmm." "SHARON:" "Hello?" "Mr. Mendon?" "Mmmm." "Hello?" " Yeah?" " Are you okay?" "What are you- what are you doing?" "What- what time is it?" "It's 10 to 5:00." "Why are you- 10 to 5:00?" "10 to 5:00 in the afternoon." "What?" "Is it still today?" "It's Saturday." "Mr. Mendon." "Congratulations again." "Mr. Mendon!" "See?" "I told you you'd turn it around." "Good for you!" "I have never seen anything like it." "You were hot as balls!" "Blackjack, roulette." "When was this?" "Last night." "When?" "Uh..." "I saw you around 9:00." "You were, ha ha, pretty good." "The gaming gods were smiling on you." "Uh, last time I saw you was just before 2:00" "When you cashed out." "And listen, I was able to buy you a little extra time, you know, on the check, because of your big win." "So just pay the cage the 67,000" "When you get the chance." "How much did I cash in for?" "You- you don't remember?" "I'm a little hazy." "Hey, if I cashed in $186,000, the last thing I'd be is hazy." "Shit." " What?" " LORRAINE:" "Hello." "Hi." " Where have you been?" " In my room." "Well, I called a dozen times last night and today and the phone just kept ringing." "Well, I was with Amanda." "Uh-huh." "And you're still there so I'm assuming she doesn't want to go to rehab." " She's not interested." " Taylor." "Look, what am I supposed to do?" "Kidnap her?" "It doesn't work that way." "You can't help people who don't want to be helped." "You know, you never really intended to help her, did you?" " What?" " This trip was just all about you." "You and your fucking gambling!" "Listen, I haven't gambled one penny all day." "That's the truth." "The bank called." "They get a call from the casino about a check?" "For $100,000?" "What check?" "Oh, stop it, please." "Just stop it." "The check you took from my drawer." "The check you told me you didn't take!" "Listen, I make the money that goes into the account." " I'm the one who" " Oh, Taylor, please stop!" " Well, if it's about the money" " It's not about the money!" "You have no clue what it's about so please just stop talking while I have the smallest amount of respect left for you." "Why did I think this would work?" "I thought if I loved you enough, you wouldn't fuck me over." "But you don't care about me, Taylor." "I do." "No, you don't." "You only care about yourself and those stupid horses." "Don't come home." "What does that mean?" "I called a lawyer." "So- so what am I supposed to do now?" "Beg you for another chance?" "Lorraine?" "Uh, I'm such an idiot." "Lorrai" "LORRAINE'S VOICE:" "Hi, we're not here." "Leave a message." "Lorraine, pick up the phone." "Lorraine, please pick up the phone." "Hello?" "You're scaring me." "You're- if that's what you were trying to do, you've succeeded." "Hell- listen, I'll stop gambling." "I promise." "Please?" "Please" "What do you want me to do?" "Lorraine?" "You misplaced $186,000 in cash and chips?" "How does that happen?" "Sometimes I hide the money if I have a really big score." "I tore my room apart." "It's not there." "Oh, Christ." "Listen, that girl that you saw me with last night?" " I think she has the money." " The- the hooker?" "She's not a hooker." "Who gives a shit?" "What am I gonna do now?" "What are you gonna do now?" "I put my ass on the line for you- that five grand?" "What if my bosses hold me responsible?" "I don't have that kind of money to throw around just 'cause you're a fuck-up." "What?" "What did you just call me?" "What did you just call me?" " And there's still nothing from your bank." "Well, there might be a problem with that." "You see, my wife called and I have a little trouble" "Just forget it!" "I knew you'd fuck me over." "It's my own fault." " Get out of here." " What are you doing?" "What are you doing?" "Wait." "You're kicking me out?" "Yeah, that's what I'm doing." "What about this?" "What about the relationship, huh?" " Or was that all bullshit?" " Do I have to call security?" "You never really wanted me to win." "Hey, asshole, I want everyone to win." "But the funny thing?" "It doesn't work out that way." "Some people win." "Most people lose." "The mistake everybody makes is they keep coming back." "But I have to tell you?" "The king of fuckin' losers?" "You prick!" "Hey, call security." "This man just tried to attack me." "Okay." "All right." "Oh, congratulations again, Mr. Mendon!" " Hi." " Hello." " You a friend of Greg's?" " No, Amanda's." " Is she home?" " God, I hope not." "That'd be weird." "Greg said she'd be out until late." "Is- is she working?" "No, she's with some friends at a club." "Your nose is bleeding." "Which club?" "God, he told me." "Let me think." "The Thaiger- the Thaiger Club." "It's not spelled like the animal." "It's Thaiger, T-h-a-i." "Like the food." " Like the country?" " It's a country too?" "Where is it?" "The country?" "The club." "It's in North Vegas on Viceroy, I think." "Viceroy?" "Thank you." "Take your shoes off." "MAN: ¶ one, two- one, two, three!" "¶" "Hey." "Hey." "Hi." "Are you ever going home?" "We need to talk." "What?" "I can't hear you." "We need to talk, you and me." "I don't know what the hell you're talking about." "Don't screw with me, Amanda." " Where is my money?" " You gave me $2,000." "You said I was your good-luck charm." "If you think I'm gonna give it back to you, you can go fuck yourself." " Don't talk to me like that." " I'm going home." "Oh, you are?" "Yeah, why don't you do that?" "Why don't we take a trip to your sacred place and say hi to Greg and the chick that he's banging as we speak... and then you can give me my damn money!" "Leave me alone." "Don't walk away from me, Amanda." "Don't touch me!" "Don't you dare fucking touch me!" "Okay." "Listen, Amanda." "I'm not fucking around." "I need the money." " No, I'm not fucking around!" " It's $186,000!" " Get out of my life!" " I won the money." " I want it back!" " I swear to God!" "Whoa, hey, whoa, what's this?" "Shit." "You okay, Amanda?" "Yeah, I'm fine, B.V. I'm fine." "So you like to rough up the ladies, huh?" "That's your thing?" "She's my niece." "No, he really is my uncle, B.V." "That ain't the answer B.V. Was looking for." "She has my money." "Yeah, and knowing my girl," "She did something real nice to make that money." "So that makes it her money." "That's how it works, chump." "Take this asshole in back." "Hey, whoa, hey!" "What?" "No no no no!" "B.V., no, he really is my uncle, I swear." " You stay here." "You let B.V. Handle it." "No, I swear!" "I got this." "I got this." "Oh, shit." "Whoa, hang on, hang on." "This is a- it's a misunderstanding." "Amanda!" " She's" " Pain time." "Oh, wait a minute." "Wait, guys, guys!" "Ow." "Shit." "So you like messing with the ladies?" "You like pushing 'em around?" "That's fine." "But you don't mess with B.V.'s girls." "Look, I really am her uncle." "Oh, yeah, and I'm her daddy." "I outrank you." "So you tell B.V. that you're not gonna mess with his girls no more and we be cool." "This- this has really gotten way out of hand." "Huh?" "Now, are you gonna mess with B.V.'s girls?" "No, I was" " I was just trying to help her." "This fucker's got to be deaf." "I'll give you anything you want, huh?" "Get his attention for me." "Ah!" "Oh, fuck!" "Are you gonna mess with B.V.'s girls?" "You broke my fucking hand." "Okay, get his other hand and get his leg too." "No." "No no, wait!" "Wait wait, I have to type." " Wait, I'm a writer." " You're a writer?" " Yes." " What you write?" " A T.V. Show." " Wait, hold hold hold hold." " Which one?" " I'd rather not say." "Oh, yeah?" "And I'd rather not kick your ass." " Which show?" " "Those MacAllister's. "" ""Those MacAllister's"?" "No shit?" "You write that?" "When I had two fuckin' hands, I did." "Wait, hold it, hold it." "No, hold on, hold on." "Come here, let me talk to you for a minute." "No." "Let me talk to you for a minute." "You know, do you really write that show?" " Yeah." " Man, that shit is funny." "Man, I been thinking about getting into the business, you know?" "The television writing business?" "Look, B.V.'s got this script." "Maybe you could look at it with B.V., and check it out?" "Maybe make some suggestions?" "Better yet, hire B.V. for your show?" "You're kidding." " No, I been thinking about gettin' out of this business." "I'm tired of all these bitches and hoes, you know?" "Too high-maintenance, man." "Stand up straight when I talk to you." "Look, I'm at a crossroad in my life." "I need a creative outlet." "Now, how many pages should a script be?" "For a standard half-hour multi-camera?" " Yeah." " About 44." "44?" "Damn, I only got seven." "Maybe, you know, you could take it and add some stuff to it?" "Like some pronouns, some adverbs, some things like that?" "Yeah, that'd be great." "Oh my God!" "What happened?" "Everything is good, baby girl." "But you know what?" "You should have told me that this dude was your uncle." "It would have changed everything." "You know, you need a ride to the emergency room?" " No, I'm good." " Well, you do well" "You stay on top of things." "I'll send you that script, okay?" " Oh, yeah, that'd be great." " I'll deal with you later, all right?" " AMANDA:" "What?" " You guys knew that was her uncle?" " No." " Didn't hear Amanda mention that." "You okay?" "Where's my money?" "You gave me $2,000." "Okay." "Okay." "You shouldn't have come here." "I need to get to a hospital." "Yeah, I'll drive you." "No no no." "You've been drinking." "I'll drive." "You tell me which way to go." "You missed the exit." "I said you missed the exit." "I'm not losing my wife and getting my hand broken and getting kicked out of a casino for nothing." "Somebody's gonna pay for this and it's you." "You're going to rehab." "No, I am not." "Look around, honey." "I think you are." " I'm getting out." " Go ahead." " I'm serious." " Yeah, good, go ahead." "You want to kill yourself anyway." "Yeah, come on, hurry up." " I'm gonna do it!" " Yeah, go ahead." "I'll speed up." "I want to make sure you get killed." "Because believe me, sweetheart, nobody wants a whore in a wheelchair." " You fucking asshole!" " Go ahead, do it." "Ahh!" "Ow." "AMANDA:" "Hello?" "Can you hear me?" "Hi." "Um, yeah." "My uncle kidnapped me and he's taking me to rehab in Malibu." "It's in California." "Um, I think it's called Clark Baron or something." "Can you please pick me up?" "I have to pull off." "I can't drive anymore." "My hand." "I'll drive." "I don't think so." "Here." "Take it." "Thanks." "I'm not doing rehab." "As soon as you leave, I'm out of there." "I'm just taking you there." "That's all I said I'd do." "What happens to you after that, I don't give a shit." "If Greg ever sees you again, he's gonna kick your ass so bad." "Oh, yeah." "Oh, he's wonderful." "You did real well there, Amanda." "You've made a lot of bad choices in your short life, but Greg really stands out." "Greg loves me." "Stop buying him stuff." "See how much he loves you then." "Someday, you're gonna see what he's really like." "He'll do something or say something and it'll suddenly be so clear to you that your darling Greg is a hateful, mouth-breathing, abusive piece of shit." "Well, at least he's not a 43-year-old drunk gambler." "No, that would take talent." "You and me..." "We live to make bad choices." "We need a person in our lives who- who looks at us when we fuck up and... remembers who we were." "Who we could be." "You don't have someone like that, all you have is you." "And sooner or later, left to your own brilliant, damaged devices... you just go spinning right off the goddamn planet." "You lose that person..." "You're done." "Oh my God!" "Oh!" "Oh ho ho ho!" "Oh, thank you, God!" "You're here." "It's free." "Give it a shot." "Let me actually think that I'm doing something good." "If I can do one good thing, maybe I can string a few together." "I'm glad this is all about you." "You're better than your life, Amanda." "You have a room with a canyon view." " Hi." " Long fuckin' drive." "Now we gotta go all the way back." "Aw." "Mmm, thanks for coming, baby." "These glasses are crap." "Where'd you buy these?" "You love me, don't you?" "Like I really want to answer stupid questions right now." "Did you have a girl at the house last night?" "No." "'Cause my uncle said that he saw this girl" "Would you shut up about that guy?" "He doesn't even know what he's talking about." " No, Greg" " Shut up!" "You know, I don't even know why we're sitting here talking." "I just want to get the fuck home." "Don't ever hit me again." "Don't ever make me." "LORRAINE'S VOICE:" "Hi, we're not here." "Leave a message." "Oh, uh, Lorraine..." "Lorraine, pick up." "Hey, I just dropped Amanda off at rehab." "I thought you'd want to know..." "AMANDA:" "Seriously, pull the fuck over right now!" "I'm going, I'm going." "I'm jumping." "You're fucking crazy!" "Jesus Christ." "I don't have fuckin' time to play games, all right?" "So get in the fuckin' car." "Get in the car." "Goodbye, Greg." "Is this because you made me hit you?" " Is that the problem?" " Goodbye, Greg." "Gah!" "It's over." "Fuck you." "We're done." "That's right!" "And you know what?" "I'm taking the fucking truck," "I'm taking my clothes, I'm taking everything!" "So fuck you!" "Gah!" "I need gas money." "Fuck you!" "Bitch!" " WOMAN:" "Where you headed?" " I'm not sure yet." "You better get in." "No, Dr. Franks isn't here today." "Would you like to speak with Dr. Baron?" "I'll connect you." "Hi." "Can I help you?" "Yes." "You have a room with a canyon view for Amanda Keene?" "Yes." "Is she here?" "I'm her." "MAN SINGING:" "¶ there's everywhere else ¶" "¶ and then there's Vegas ¶" "¶ anywhere else just don't fit the bill ¶" "¶ you travel the world ¶" "¶ and then there's Vegas ¶" "¶ you feel like a king ¶" "¶ king of the whole damn hill ¶" "¶ Boston's got her beans ¶" "¶ Pittsburgh, she's got steel ¶" "¶ they won't set your heart to racing' ¶" "¶ like a spin of the wheel ¶" "¶ there's everywhere else ¶" "¶ and then there's Vegas, baby ¶" "¶ there's nowhere else ¶" "¶ no place I'd rather be ¶" "¶ there's everywhere else ¶" "¶ and then there's Vegas, baby ¶" "¶ ain't no place ¶" "¶ no place I'd rather be ¶" "¶ there's no place else ¶" "¶ that shines so bright ¶" "¶ so make it Las Vegas ¶" "¶ tonight. ¶"