"Hey, Griz!" "Catch!" "Come on, Griz." "You should be up already." " Come on." " Wait." "Oh." "You might be getting a real one of those soon." "Really?" "Maybe." "But let's bring him anyway." "Would you give me a hand with this, Caroline, instead of your hair?" "Come on, Griz." "We're late." "Well, sunshine will stay with us this afternoon." "Temperatures top out into the middle 80s." "That's some 20 degrees..." "I still don't get why we can't bring Vincent." "Where should we put him, Nat-man?" "Your lap?" "Yes, please." "Not as warm..." " because clouds will be..." " Mom'll bring him." "When exactly?" "About 10 days, give or take." "Is she taking a Boeing 747 or 747SP?" "Oh, SP." "There's only one of those, and it's in the United Arab Emirates." "How'd you get so smart, Nat-man?" "Say bye to your house, guys." "Bye, house." "So they're hiking for days, all tied to each other on a rope." "They're exhausted." "They're starving." "They can barely keep up with this old Chang guy." "Finally, they climb one last, huge ridge." "And you guys will never guess what they see next." " An elephant." " Kristy Murphy using the flatiron she stole." "A swimming pool?" "Bingo." "Griz got it." "Speaking of, you nerds realize you're going to be the proud new owners of a pool, right?" " With a..." "With a slide?" " If you're lucky." "So listen." "So what Conway actually sees is a mountain city... so beautiful, so perfect, it's like paradise, or heaven even." "And they're..." "Hey, Griz, You wanna hear about Shangri-La?" "How's Harrison?" "He's so-so." "Probably wondering what he's doing hanging out with a 12-year-old." "Well smile, Harrison." "You're headed for sunshine 300 days a year." "I love this music." "Feed me." "I'm hungry." "I'm hungry." "I'm very hungry." "Ahh." "Hey, Nat-Man!" "Griz!" "She's a natural, folks." "Yeah." "Look at all these porkers." "If you listen close, you can hear the diabetes setting in." "Hey, porkers!" "Shh!" "What?" "What?" "C..." "Cut it out." "Three bucks for yogurt when you can get meat for a buck, 99." "I wouldn't call that "meat. "" "Dad, I hate fast food." "Just like your mother." "Little Miss Organic." "How'd I get the one kid in America who hates fast food?" "I don't know." " Did you make any friends at camp?" " A few." " Did you tell them about your big move?" " No." " Why not?" " I wasn't sure if it was really gonna happen." "It's happening, Griz." "It's happening." "So Mom's okay with it now?" "We'll see." "Your mom doesn't see California the way I do, but she doesn't know it like I do." "They got a great community garden out there." "She's gonna be able to keep doing her volunteer thing." "Why'd she have to go to Aunt Deedee's right before we left?" "I haven't seen her in, like, four weeks and three days." "I know, honey." "It'll just be a few more." "Forget about it." "No, no." "That's not accurate." "No." "I've been clear about this for months." "The 27th." "Talk to Gibbs in H.R. That's who I spoke to." "Let me write something, or I'll drop this on your head." " You'll see her in nine days." " Her and Fluffy?" "Natty, I do not think that fish is gonna survive Mom's suitcase." "Don't be silly." "She's gonna put plastic wrap over the bowl." "Okay, that'll work." "Ew!" "Ew!" "Ew!" "I really doubt you'll be saying that for long." "No, no, no!" "Don't!" "Give it!" "Oh, my..." "There's something wrong with this kid." "I know." "He sleeps with a rock." "It's a meteorite, dummy." "Plus, you sleep with a rabbit." "I don't get why you're obsessed with that Noah weirdo." "I don't get why you're obsessed with that piece of shit." " Do you have to swear?" " I forgot I was in the presence of Miss Righteous." "Caroline's gonna get married." "Why would she wanna do that?" " So she has someone to fight with." " Ooh!" " Oh, dear God." " Oh!" "That's so gross." "Here, Ham." "Here's a present." "You just got those from the bathroom, which, not to mention, is now polluted." "So what?" "They're top-of-the-line "silky tresses. "" "No." "Fine." "I'll give them to Griz." "She'll have the softer, shinier and more manageable hair." "At least Griz loves me." "No." "Just clean hair." "Guy can't cut a break around here, eh, Harrison?" "Hey, Dad?" "Yeah." "How long till the Grand Canyon?" "Three or four days." "I'm gonna get you there as soon as I can, Natty." "Promise." "This is the Grand Canyon Express." "Hey, Natty." "Yeah?" " You gonna do the dance?" " If you're lucky." "Come on." "Do it." "What's this?" "Seymour the fag duck again." "Look at his hair." "Good one." "All right." "Okay." "Yeah." "Stop that." "Now." "It is the Tri-Roller with a bag... that comes along with it." "It's a complete exercise system with a work-out DVD." "And we're promising you when working out with the Ab Doer, it's going to be far less impact on your legs and knees." "Everybody has been talking about that... and how they love being elevated." "They love being up and off the floor in a seated position, whittling away the middle, combining the Ab Doer Twist system... along with cardio and a healthy eating..." "Turn it back on." "...see what you're going to get." "We're including for you your complete Ab Doer Twist system." "So it comes along with it." "You're going to get a great massage as you're working out." "You're going to be..." "Breakfast!" "Vitamins for you guys too." "What's the score?" "4-3." "Bases loaded for the A's." "Oh!" "Don't tell me that nimrod Wilson's pitching." "Yeah." "Hey, Dad!" "Yeah, Nat-man." "Soap in my eyes!" "Uh-oh." "You all right?" "My X-ray vision!" "Don't worry about the X-ray vision." "Only acid can destroy that." "Just rinse them out." "Hey." "Griz-meister." "Breakfast." "Is that English you're speaking?" "Come on." "We gotta check out and go." "Have some bagel and vitamins." "I hate those things." "Tough." "Whatcha reading, Natty?" "Flora and fauna of the Grand Canyon." "What's the biggest fauna?" "Mountain lion?" "Nah." "They're all dead." "Those jerks." "Hey, Dad, now how long till we get to the Grand Canyon?" "Well, we're 10 hours closer than the last time you asked." "Good. 'Cause we only have two more months... till the Mexican long-tongued bat goes into hibernation." "I think I better step on it then." "Uh-huh." "What's Griz listening to?" "She only has one album." "Yeah." "Morrissey." "Who?" "Isn't that the dorkus down the street?" "Billy?" "Morry?" "What are you guys talking about?" " Your depressing emo music." " Like you guys know anything." "All the stuff you kids listen to these days is awful." "Except Sting." "As if anyone listens to Sting." " You mean I'm out of the loop?" " No geriatrics are in the loop, Dad." "Hey, Dad." "Do you think they'll let me on the football team in Arcadia?" "I don't see why not." "'Cause I weigh 62 pounds, that's why not." "Listen, Nat-man." "There's nothing you can't do if you try hard enough." "Maybe you can be on the swim team." "There's gonna be a pool at our house, you know." "You should see the office they set me up with, right on Beverly Drive." "Palm trees, even, right out my window." "Hey, Dad, when is my first riding lesson?" "Soon as we get settled." "I wouldn't hold my breath." "No, come on." "A promise is a promise." "And one of those... the Cherry Tripler." "Gotta be 18 for those." "I know." "It's for my dad." "That's for my mom." "I'll bet." "Come on, Nat." "Ohh!" "Look." "Where'd you get those?" "Did you pay for that?" "Nope." "You were the decoy, and I snagged..." "That's stealing." "Guys, come on." "Let's go." "Go bring it back." "No way." "Greta, come on." "They're just Tootsie Rolls." "What if Mom knew you did that?" "Guys, come on." "That's nice." "It's not even noon, for Christ sakes." "Whole country's going down the tubes." "We'll do a number after we cross every state border." "Come on, Greta." "That'll take forever." "What are you nerds whispering about back there?" "Nothing." "What's that nudie thing for?" "It's not a nudie thing." "It's for luck." "Oh." "Cool." " Are you sure, uh, this is the right way?" " I don't know." "It said you had to get on the 65, but I don't know if you passed it." "The 65's back there." "What?" "Jesus!" "Hey, slow down, asshole!" "Dad." "You like that?" "I'll sit here all day if I have to." "Huh?" "Is that better?" "Idiot." "Fuckin' asshole!" "You must be a fucking asshole!" "What did you call me?" "Fucking asshole!" "You got something to say?" "Back the hell away from me, moron!" " Back off." " Get out of the fucking car and say that to me." "Huh?" "I'll fuck all y'all up!" "Dad!" "Dad, what are you doing?" "Get the fuck away from my kids!" "Fucking asshole!" "I'm gonna fucking sue the shit out of you!" "Don't you fucking go anywhere!" "I got your fucking license plate, asshole!" "If they ask you kids anything, just agree with what I say." "What?" "Just do as I say." "Now, what exactly happened out there?" "You know we're gonna have to check and see if he's pressing charges." "Well, we were on our way to a wake." "These kids' aunt... passed away." "I'm sorry to hear that." "Yeah." "They certainly didn't need this today." "I..." "I'm sorry for what happened, but that man verbally and then physically threatened my kids and me." "I was acting in self-defense." "Who started the argument?" "He did." "He approached the car, spewing profanities." "He..." "He threatened us." "He could have had a gun, for all I know it." "I..." "I..." "I felt like I had to protect my family." "See, when something like that happens, you gotta be smart." "You gotta decide which is the bigger risk... acting or staying passive." "because it was safer to get out there and confront that maniac... than to let him pull a gun and shoot all of you." "Hey, when someone threatens you guys, I'm not taking any chances." "You never sit back when you're in danger." "You find a way out of it." "But you lied." "I know." "Sometimes you have to lie, Greta." "What would you do if Dad was in jail right now, huh?" "Where would you be?" "Probably at some overfunded government facility." "Mom would come get us." "Your mom's not here, is she?" "In the larger scheme of things, that lie isn't gonna hurt anybody." "It helped us get out of that situation, that's all." "You kids are good sports." "You guys want dessert?" "Like this." "That's what they're used to." "A chicken?" "Do you think Dad would have really gone to jail yesterday?" "I don't know." "I don't think so." "Well, they would have sent us home, right?" "Not to some overplundered government facility." "I hope not." "Why not?" "Cause I really don't wanna go back there." "Hey, guys, do you think if they found out Dad lied, they would have put him in jail?" "I don't think so, Natty." "No." "Who's he talking to?" "I'm not accepting that." "Who was that?" "It was a business call." " What aren't you accepting?" " Were you eavesdropping?" "No." "Can we call Mom now?" "No." "Why not?" "She's not home yet." "Well, then can you give me Aunt Deedee's number?" "I don't have that kook's number." "Hmm?" "Who's there?" "What the hell are you doing, Greta?" "I was just getting some air." "Get back in bed." "There's psychos out there." "The Earth is here, and Mars is the closest planet." "What about Ganymede?" "Huh?" "Ganymede, the moon by..." "the moon by Jupiter." "Oh." "Right." "And Europa." "And the other two." "Well, sure, if you want to get that detailed about it." "It's not detail, Dad." "It's the facts." "Well, technically it's both." "And..." "Hmm?" "What's that?" "My meteorite?" "You don't recognize it, Nat-man?" "You should." "Oh." "Hmm?" "Uh, it's too close to Jupiter to be Saturn." "Mm-hmm." "Um, and it..." "So it might be "Callisto or IO. "" "It's Uranus." "What?" "What's Uranus doing there?" "Oh, Dad." "Girls, look at Nat's Uranus out here next to Mars." "Caroline, where's that horoscope you were reading?" "Maybe Nat's Uranus is entering the House of Venus, for luck in love." "I hope Nat's Uranus doesn't cause another Big Bang." "Mine wouldn't." "Yours would." "Aw, pitt!" "Yes." "Can..." "Can we call Mom now?" "Hi." "Tom, Jane, Caroline, Greta and Nat aren't home." "Please leave us your message." "We'll call you back." "Mom, it's us." "Hi, Mom." "Uh, we just wanted to see if you were home, but I guess you're not." "Or maybe you're at the Kents'?" "Hey, Mommy, we're in Missouri." "And don't forget to bring Fluffy." "Bye." "We love you, Mom." "You got five minutes." "Well?" "Told you guys." "# Rolling, rolling, rolling" "# Behind" "# Rolling, rolling, rolling #" "# Rawhide That's right." "It's... # Keep those dogies rolling #" "# Rolling, rolling, rolling Rawhide #" "No!" "All right." "Stay in the car." "I'll be quick." "Yes, sir." "Where are you going?" "Dad said to stay in the car." "I'll be right back." "Wait up!" "Come on, Griz." "Let's go." "Dad's probably back by now." "Griz!" "What if our place looks like that?" "Probably full of psychos." "Greta, come on." "Hey." "Hey, guy." "Greta!" "Hey, hey, hey." "He don't like trespassers." "Aw, G..." "What are you doing!" "Where were you guys?" "Greta almost got attacked by a dog." "I told you to stay in the car." "I had to mail something." "Next time you do as I say." "You all right, Greta?" " Isn't this place nice, guys?" " Nicer than a homeless shelter." "I love this place." "Why don't you get the meat loaf, Griz?" "Order the meat loaf for Harrison." "I'll eat whatever he doesn't eat." "I know what I want, thanks." "Natty, what are you having?" "Either the half chicken or the..." "fettuccine Alfredo." "Fettucine is a rip-off for something with... no protein, eh." "No protein, Tony!" "Oh." "Hello." "How are you today, Agnes?" "Are you ready to order?" "Well, got a couple questions first." "How big would you say the chopped steak is?" "Is it a good size meal..." "Well, it says right there." "Steamed vegetables, choice of mashed, baked or rice." "And the size?" "Of the meat?" "It's a normal size." "I asked you a reasonable question, and I'm expecting a reasonable response." "Is it eight ounces?" "Ten?" "Six?" "Five?" "Four?" "Three?" "Two?" "All right, just... bring me the meat loaf with the mashed potatoes and a glass of the house red." "My son here will have the half chicken." "Greta?" "I'll have the chicken-and-corn salad." "Hold the chicken." " What do you mean, hold the chicken?" " I don't want it." "I'm not asking you." "Just bring it with the chicken." "I don't like the chicken neither." "Um, I'll have the meat loaf." "Well, I'd give her an "A" for attitude, a D-minus for server skills." "She has big arms." "This isn't the Four Seasons." "You got it all wrong." "I don't care what the place is called." "I'm not giving them my business so she can give me attitude." "That's something you're gonna have to learn." "I ordered a glass of wine, not a shot." "Well, this is the house serving." "This ain't France." "Oh, okay." "All right." "Come on, kids." "We're leaving." "Let's go." "Let's go." "Come on." "Come on, let's go." "Jesus Christ." "I knew they were gonna pull a stunt like that." "Then why did we go here?" "We came here 'cause you girls are constantly complaining... about not going to sit-down restaurants, remember?" "Okay." "Where we gonna eat now?" "Yeah." "Okay, Dad, look, maybe you should just relax, just calm down." "You're getting stressed out." "You better..." "You don't tell me what to do, you hear me?" "You better show your father some respect." "Both of you." "Just wait here, guys." "I'll be quick." "We don't even know if we're staying here, Greta." "I'm gonna come." "Hey, Greta, wait up." "Is he calling Mom?" "I doubt it." "Is Mom gonna be there on the first day of school?" "I don't know." "If she's not, will you make me the sandwich?" "What sandwich?" "The star-shaped one she makes every first day." "She never made me that." "Why does she bring that stupid bunny everywhere?" "Oh, yeah." "Yeah." "Well, listen." "You go this route, you're gonna regret it." "That..." "That's right." "Yeah, I am threatening you." "You tell them they can go fuck themselves." "Christ." "Where's my cheese?" "Dad's walk's taking forever." "Maybe he's on the phone again." "Pick a card, any card." "Get ready for the most astonishing, the most magical magic trick in the whole universe." "Okay, you guys better pick those up." "Who writes with a fountain pen anyway?" "Mom gave it to me." "Do you want me to say hi for you?" "I don't get why you're mad at her." "She's the one that wanted us to stay." "Greta, trying to watch this." "Dad didn't even care how she felt about the move." "You should be mad at him." "Shh." "You could have at least pretended you didn't wanna move." "So what, it's my fault now?" "Well, maybe it would have made a difference." "Okay." "So Dad's gonna turn down a big offer after six months without a job, just because I don't wanna move." "I heard him on the phone, yelling and swearing and stuff." "He's probably just threatening." "Who?" "I don't know." "Maybe the guy that he tackled." "That guy threatened to sue him, remember?" "Why isn't he mentioning any of this to us?" "Maybe he figures that we have enough to worry about right now." "Mom should have just come." "Jesus." "Will you just shut up about Mom already?" "Okay?" "It's not like she's dead." "You don't even care that she's not here." "All you care about is your stupid boyfriend." "Natty..." "Natty, what's wrong?" "Nothing." "Greta..." "Greta, where are you going?" "It's past your bedtime, little girl." "Remember that time when we found that little bat?" "How a cat tore up his wings and he couldn't fly?" "You remember how Mom took him out back behind the house in the woods... and said he would be fine?" "She said bats had special powers." "What do you think happened to him?" "I don't know." "I know." "Are you okay, Griz?" "You were making the weirdest noises." "Dad and Ham went out to get us continental breakfast." "Come on." "# Rolling, rolling, rolling" "Hey, kids, look." "Oklahoma." "You guys excited to meet the Acreses?" "They have a great place." "Pool even." "Their kid's about your age." " Who are those people again?" " They're good friends of ours." "So suddenly they're our good friends when they save us motel money." "Hank's an old college buddy." "It's funny." "He's the one who introduced me to California." "Does Mom even know that we're going there?" " It's kind of funny how she's left out of all this stuff." " Give me a break." "Like when you picked the house, did she have a say in it?" "Jesus." "This again." "Yes, she did." "Well, when I was at camp, she just said that you just picked it." "I laid out three options." "She didn't want anything to do with the decision." "I remember that." "You showed me the pictures even." "Listen, I had to act fast." "That's what happens." "You wait a day, you lose the house." "Period." "I don't wanna move." " You too now?" " What do you mean now?" "I'm just trying to get the information, to be more informed." "You're always saying that we should be more informed." "You can't be privy to everything, not at age 12." "Well, don't stick me with their kid." "I can guarantee he'll be a complete dorkus." "Is this what our house is gonna look like, Dad?" "Close." "Hey." "Can't we leave the kryptonite in the car for once?" "Meh." "Be polite, nerds." "Dad, I'm sure they heard the first time." "Big house." "Hey!" "Tom!" "Oh!" "We were expecting you guys yesterday." "Oh." "Yeah." "I..." "I tried calling." "Uh..." "Oh." "That..." "That's okay." "Don't worry." "Come on in." "Come on, kids." "Ah." "Hey." "Wow." "Huh?" "Please..." "Please make yourselves at home." "Oh, isn't she cute?" "It's a he." "Harrison's been the best behaved of all of them." "I'll bet he has." "Hank, come on down!" "Tom's here!" "So you having a blast on your road trip, sweetie?" "Mm-hmm." "He can't wait to see the Grand Canyon." "Oh." "It is such a sight." "It's gorgeous." "I will never forget it." "And to think that an earthquake made that enormous hole." "I think it was the Colorado River." "So... you guys excited about your move?" "Yeah." "Sure they are." "Moving's not so bad." "Just ask Evan." "He loves it here now." "So, you like it here?" "I hate it." "At least you have a pool." "Oh." "You wanna go in, do you?" "No, no, no." "No, no." "No, no." "Do not..." "Do not push me in." "No." "Hey." "You wanna play pool basketball?" "Oh." "No." "I'm fine." "That's a cute swimsuit you got on." "Thanks." "Oh." "Don't you wanna go swimming?" "Give it!" "Give it!" "Maybe this will get you to laugh." "Do you ever feel like your face isn't yours?" "What do you mean?" "Sometimes I just feel... like my brain isn't even connected to my face." "Like it's a stranger's or something." "If I were you, I'd wish my face was a stranger." "Gross." "You're too cool for your own good." "How come you don't play and stuff like you used to?" "I just don't." "I know why you're not going in." "You like him." "# Ooh, Griz loves Evan, sittin' in a tree #" "Stop it!" "Stop!" "She won't even acknowledge this is the best offer I've ever had, so..." "How are the kids doing?" "Great." "They'll adjust." "Even if Jane keeps being stubborn." "If it were up to her parents, she'd move back in with them." "It's..." "Griz, if you're not gonna play, at least let us." "Geez!" "Hi." "Tom, Jane, Caroline, Greta and Nat aren't home." "Please leave us your message." "We'll call you back." "Mom, I don't care if you and Dad hate each other." "Just please come out here." "Please." "We can live in separate houses or something." "Just come." "Hey." "Sweetie, you wanna come out and join us?" "Listen, hon." "I know that everything that's happening just can't be easy for you kids." "It's okay." "You know, with the move and everything, your Mom not being here..." "My mom's coming." "I've got watermelon out there." "Do you know that?" "Come on." "Griz, it's me." "Can I come in?" "Why didn't you wanna go swimming today?" "It's 'cause of your legs, isn't it?" "What?" "You're embarrassed because your legs are hairy." "It's okay." "I totally remember that feeling." "It's gross." "It's not gross." "But yeah, you should probably start to shave." "Mom said I shouldn't start yet." "She said it'll make it come back all thick and hairy." "Oh, come on." "No." "Let's do it now." "Now?" "Yeah." "No one will know." "Come on." "Get up on here." "Come on." "All right." "Put your legs out." "All right." "Gotta make sure the water's warm, okay?" "So it opens up your pores." "Yeah, rub it." "All right." "Ready?" "See?" "Easy." "You do it." "You gotta do it like that if you want boys to like you." "Why do you like Noah anyway?" "You'll see." "What's that supposed to mean?" "Just wait until a guy likes you, and then you'll see." "Guys don't like me." "They will." "What do you..." "do all the time anyway?" "Make out?" "It's been known to happen." "How do you..." "You want me to show you that too?" "Practice on your arm." "It's easy." "No!" "Look, okay?" "Like this." "Come on." "Just don't be sloppy about it." "Ew." "Are all these questions because of Evan?" "No!" "Come on." "He's kind of cute, isn't he?" "You kinda like him?" "Gross." "Hey, girls!" "We'll finish later, okay?" "Come on." "Hey..." "Ooh." "You're workin' on a whopper there." "Dad!" "Hmm?" "I like the food." "A lot." "Mmm." "Hey, ladies." " How's the slumber party?" " You're not invited." "What are we gossiping about?" "We're writing postcards, actually." "Oh." "Yeah." "So whatcha got in there?" "Come on." "Show him your cool pictures." "Whoa." "Greta, who's the sexy one for, your boyfriend?" "No, it's... it's not that." "It's for my mom." "Well, I wanna meet your mom then." "If she's into that." "Get out, you pervert." "These are some attractive ladies." "I'm not the one who bought it." "It's for luck." "Can I have it then?" "Get out." "Get out!" "Fine." "Fine." "Sweet dreams, ladies." "Lame." "Yeah." "Tom, you have to understand the position that we're in." "Yeah, if I needed your help, I would have asked." "It's not like we stole your firstborn." "Just calm down." "Yeah." "Yeah." "It's none of your goddamn business." " Excuse me?" " It's not." "She deserves to know where her kids are." "The Demarcos's lawyer is calling here in 20 minutes." "He expects you to be here." "Jesus Christ." "Ellen, Hank, Thanks for the hospitality." "I don't think you should leave just yet." "Yeah?" "Thanks for the advice, buddy." "What are we supposed to tell them when your call comes?" "Merry Christmas." "Get your stuff ready." "Where's your sister?" "We're leaving." "Ham, get your stuff together." "Come on." "Greta!" "I'm not kidding!" "We're going!" "Where are you?" "Come on!" "Hey, Griz!" "Let's see if they have some flip-flops." "Why?" "I don't know." "Everyone wears those in California." "Okay." "Hey, Greta, you joining?" "Greta's in a bad mood these days." "So, what, you're not talking to me now?" "No." "Why?" "'Cause of Evan?" "Oh, my God." "You said, and I quote, "Ew. "" "You didn't actually like him, did you?" "You have a boyfriend." "Last time I checked he was my "stupid" boyfriend." "You cheated." "So I'm not perfect, so sue me." "You are so goddamn self-righteous." "You said you and Noah were gonna get married." "I never said that." "Yes, you did." "Well, I bet he's hooked up... with Kristy Murphy by now anyway." "Did you go all the way?" "Jesus!" "Did you?" "What does it matter?" "Well, what if you're pregnant?" "What if you have a disease?" "You are such a goddamn baby." "You know what?" "I really hope you make a mistake someday." "That way I can treat you like shit after." "Aren't you sick of bologna?" "I love bologna." "It's processed meat." "Do you know what that means?" "Mm-mmm." "It means that random pig parts are in there." "Mm-hmm." "Okay, like brains and balls and chemicals." "You said balls." "Oh, God." "It's 172 condors up there." "Hmm." "Where you going?" "To take a walk." "Am I allowed?" "# Twinkle, twinkle, little Griz #" "# How I wonder what she is" "# Up above the world so high #" "# Like a diamond in my eye" "Would you stop?" "# Twinkle..." "You used to love when I sang that." "Yeah, when I was five." "How you doing, buddy?" "I bet you like the Rockies, huh?" "Maybe one day, when you get bigger, we'll climb those mountains." "How would you like that, huh?" "You never take us hiking." "I got something for you." "Jesus, Dad!" "I'm sorry to be the one to give you those." "I just didn't want to invade your privacy by telling Caroline, you know, in case she didn't know." "And since your mom's not around..." "Stop!" "I don't wanna talk about this." "Just leave me alone." "Well, you really should talk about it with someone." "Well, not you." "Definitely not you." "Greta." "You don't walk away while I'm talking to you." "You've turned into a rude young lady." "What happened to you?" "What happened to the lucky postcard?" "Lost it." "Now we're never gonna win." "You nerds wanna hear the rest of Shangri-La?" "Mm." " Wanna play ghost?" " Mm." "You kids are no fun." "Aren't you going to answer that?" "Telemarketers." "Are you sure it's not Mom?" "It's not Mom." "How do you know?" "It's an unknown number." "Well, it could be Aunt Deedee's." "You know, the kook." "It could be one of your boyfriends." "Gee, come on." "Griz, smile." "Take a joke." "Greta's not into boys." "Maybe not now." "Someday soon she'll be beating 'em away with a stick." "Stop." "What happened at the Acres'?" "Are Grandma and Grandpa suing you?" "What?" "No." "Well, what then?" "What about the lawyer?" "Why could that Acres lady call Aunt Deedee and we can't?" "Okay, this eavesdropping of yours has got to stop." "It's not your concern." " It is my concern." " It is not." "Shit." "Goddamn it." "Shit." "Goddamn it." "Good evening." "Evening." "Driver's license and registration, please." "All right." "But, uh, first do you mind telling me what I've done wrong?" "Sir, I'm gonna ask you again." "Driver's license and registration, please." "Got it right here." "About to expire." "About to." "No law against that yet, is there, Officer?" "Thanks." "Is this your father, young man?" " Yeah, that's my son, Nat..." " I wasn't talking to you, sir." "Unbelievable." "Go ahead and answer the question, son." " He wasn't kidnapping us." "That was just a joke." " Wha..." "Sir, you keep your eyes in front and your hands on the wheel." "What the hell did you kids do?" "You wanna pass that sign to me, young lady?" "This is ridiculous." "They're my kids." "They're..." "They're messing around." "That was smart." "Jesus." "What, now I'm being written up?" "What for?" "Sir, you were going 91 in a 75 zone." "Think that's safe, with those kids back there like that?" "I happen to know for a fact I wasn't going that fast, Officer." "Hey, you kids shouldn't play around like that." "You have yourself a good evening, sir." "350-friggin'- bucks!" "Unbelievable!" "What were you thinking, Nat?" "I did it." "You're in real trouble, young lady." "Don't you ever pull a stunt like that again." "Well, if you weren't speeding, then we wouldn't have gotten" " pulled over in the first place." " Don't push me, Greta, you hear me?" "Just as crazy as your mother." "What?" "What did you just say?" "It's nothing new, is it?" "She's always playing the victim, you know." "Just after you were born..." "I don't know if you knew anything about this, but I'm gonna tell you 'cause I think you're old enough now." "Just after you were born, she went up to Vermont, to her sister's." "She wanted to separate." "I wasn't gonna let that happen." "She was just being hysterical, calling her parents every day, getting them against me too." "Her dad, your grandfather, tried to get involved." "It was bad stuff." "I mean..." "It was really bad stuff." "Wha..." "What kind of stuff?" "She was claiming I'd emotionally abused her, bullshit stuff like that." "Excuse my language." "But that's the word for it." "She was lucky I was willing to stay married to her, mostly for your sake, you know." "That's just not the kind of thing a mother should do with a baby." "I convinced her to come back, but... your life would be different now if she hadn't." "Your mom used to be so happy back when I met her." "She was so pretty." "She still is." "Hey, Ham." "Things happen for a reason." "You know?" "You're gonna love Arcadia." "No more cliquey New England." "Your dad's never had a shot like this one, never." "Now I get to be my own boss, you know?" "But I just worry that the same thing's gonna happen..." "No, no, no." "This is an entirely different situation." "These guys were literally begging me to come out there." "Cheer up." "You're gonna be a California girl." "My California kids." "It's Grand Canyon day!" "You gotta be kidding me." "Maybe it'll go fast." "What is this, national Grand Canyon day?" "Jesus." "We're finally here, Natty." "Finally." "Uh, that'll be $49." "Twenty-five for the vehicle and 24 for the two adults." "I think I heard you say $49." "I must have heard wrong." "No, you heard right, sir." "Really?" "I..." "I don't know that I can condone that kind of highway robbery... when it comes to a national treasure." "Let me ask you something." "Do you feel comfortable charging that kind of money... for something owned by taxpayers?" "Someone's gotta pay for the upkeep, the salaries and so forth." "Well, I thought that's why I have the pleasure... of the federal government taking 40% of my salary every year." "Nope." "It's not for the Grand Canyon entrance fees, sir." "Yeah?" "You can keep your Grand Canyon then." "Dad, you can't do this to him." "You just can't." "I thought a promise was a promise." "Okay, I'm sorry, guys, but..." "we're way behind schedule." "You kids gotta start school." "I gotta start my job." "We don't wanna rush through something like that." "We'll go back someday when we have more time, okay?" "Hey, I tell you what." "We'll go to Walnut Canyon instead." "You told us we were going to the Grand Canyon, not some other dinky canyon." "Yeah, well, we're not." "That's just the way it's gonna be." "Why?" "Just because you're too cheap to do what you promised?" "You better shut your mouth, Greta." "Not this again." "You shut yours too." "Or what?" "What are you gonna do?" "Abandon us like you did Mom?" "Give me a break." "You know damn well your mother's coming later." "Why do you keep feeding us this bull?" "You're divorcing her!" "Admit it!" "Why don't you just tell us the truth?" "Hey!" "I've had enough of your lip." "Your mother abandoned you, not the other way around." "Get that through your goddamn skull, you ungrateful little shit." "Who's with you right now?" "Who's carting you 3,000 miles at great personal hardship and expense?" "Huh?" "I got news for you." "It's not your mother." "You're a liar!" "I wanna go back to Mom!" " Get out then." "Get out!" " Jesus, Dad, stop!" " No!" " Yeah." "Get out and run back to your mommy." " I don't wanna look at your little face." " Dad, this is crazy." "You can't do this." "Stop!" " You're a fucking asshole!" " Get out!" "Hi." "Tom, Jane, Caroline, Greta and..." "Come with me a second." "You know, I don't enjoy having those kinds of arguments with you." "I don't want them to keep happening." "I do understand that this is hard on you, this move and all." "I'm going to tell you something that will probably make it harder." "Your mom... isn't at Aunt Deedee's." "Where is she then?" "She's at a psychiatric clinic." "Why?" "Because she had a breakdown when you were at camp." "Breakdown?" "That's right." "A nervous breakdown." "She'll be there a little longer, then she'll be out." "Why did we leave her then?" "You know why." "We had to get to California, Griz." "It'll be okay." "She'll be out soon." "What about the lawyers..." "and Grandma and Grandpa?" "They seem to think that I'm not allowed to move you kids, and they're wrong." "What are they doing?" "Oh, they're just making empty threats mostly." "Nothing you need to get too worried about." "What's gonna happen?" "It'll all be okay, Griz." "I promise." "Does Caroline know?" "Why didn't you tell me?" "Why wouldn't you tell me?" "Well, I didn't wanna make this whole process harder on you kids." "But you lied to us." "No." "You said so yourself." "Sometimes you have to lie." "No." "Not in this case." "Listen." "There are realities kids aren't supposed to deal with yet." "You have the rest of your life to deal with this crap." "I'd rather not be a part of dishing it out now." "But you are." "This move is going to turn out to be one of the best things... to ever happen to our family." "We're not even a family anymore." "Oh, that's not fair." "You kept acting like everything was gonna be fine." "I think it will be." "I don't." "Ah-ha-ha!" "There it is, guys..." "Los Angeles." "The city of angels." "Los Angeles." "We made it." "Whoo-hoo!" "Well, nerds, you've just traveled 2,848 miles to your new home." "What?" "This will be fine, guys." "You haven't even seen the pool." "Come on." "Ah, okay, so, we'll all sleep in here together till we rent the furniture." "That way you guys don't have to sleep alone." "We're renting furniture?" "Yeah." " When will that be?" " Soon." "Hey, Dad?" "Yeah?" "Are these for the pool?" "Well, that's one way to use 'em." "But we're gonna use 'em as mattresses for now." "Does someone wanna give me a hand blowing these things up?" "Well, tomorrow I'll drop you guys off at school." "We'll have to find another solution though... because I'll need to leave early for work." "I'll get you guys bikes." "What about me?" "I'll figure something out." " Come on, Caroline." " You could ride a bike too." " When's Mom coming?" " Please say soon." "Probably in the next couple weeks." "We'll see." "You said she'd be here." "Yeah." "That's what I thought." "I'm sorry I don't have all the answers." "No one does." "Hey, Ham?" "Mm-hmm?" "Could you show me how to do my hair like yours?" "For school." "Why do you wanna look like me?" "I don't know." "You're pretty." "I'll do it for you in the morning." "Dad told me about what happened with Mom." "What happened when I was away?" "Just a lot of the typical fighting." "And then what?" "And..." "And then..." "Mom just..." "Mom kind of flipped out." "She's gonna be okay." "This happened once before." "When?" "I don't know." "Um, I guess you were too young to remember." "She was gone for, like, 10 days, and then she came back." "That wooden box that you have, with the horse on it?" "Yeah?" "She made that thing there." "At the hospital?" "Mom's been sad for a really long time." "She and Dad, they just... they just don't get along." "Well, then they should think about us and not themselves." "Well, they do." "They just do it in their own way." "Wow!" "Whoa!" "Oh, oh, oh!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "I wanna report a murder." "Sit down." "Where was this murder committed?" "San Francisco, last night." "Who was murdered?" "I was." "Griz?" "Griz?" "Come here a sec." "Hello." "Mom?" "Greta." "Where are you?" "I'm here at home." "Are you okay?" "Are you?" "I'm okay." "You were at the hospital." "Things were hard while you were at camp." "Why didn't anyone tell me?" "I don't know." "I don't know why your father didn't tell you." "I miss you so much." "Are you okay?" "I'm fine." "Did you hurt yourself or anything?" "No, I'm okay." "I'm okay." "Are you coming out here?" "You have to know how much I love you, Greta." "Are you?" "It's very complicated." "Dad?" "Did you meet anyone cool at school?" "Not really." "Did you meet any dorkuses?" "You mean other than you?" "Other than you." "Nope." "Hey, where's your meteorite?" "Is this the longest you guys have been apart?" "It's just a rock, you know." "# Behind, it's alive Its colors glow #" "# The red sun" "# You wear a shelter song" "# Feel it coming on strong" "# And I will stay close to you" "# You don't show it, but you want me to #" "# We are dogs and run in the pack #" "# We shed blood" "# No one" "# Goes" "# Home alone" "# No one" "# Goes" "# Home alone" "# Good morning in the land of the sun #" "# Remember when your heart was young #" "# Your hand is a fist So proud of your pride #" "# You can see the dead child in anyone #" "# We've been through flowers in fertile caves #" "# And the desolate loneliness there #" "# Beauty delays" "# We are dogs and run in the pack #" "# We shed blood" "# No one" "# Goes" "# Home alone" "# No one" "# Goes" "# Home alone" "# No one" "# Gets" "# Home alone" "# No one" "# Gets" "# Home alone"