"Copyright from ecOtOne™" "ALEXANDER:" "My parents say there's no such thing as a bad day." "That it's all how yöu look at it." "What can I tell yöu?" "Parents." "Here is what I know." "They're wrong." "My name is Alexander, and I'm the expert in bad days." "This guy knows what I'm talking about." "That's not coming off." "Did I mention my dad is a relentless optimist?" "We're in the home stretch." "And look at Mom." "She's not fooling anyone with that "Mom smile."" "Believe it or not, by the time we got home... this van was in better shape than we were." "There's my sister Emily, the actress." "(RETCHING)" "(COUGHS)" "Always ready to take a bow." "Anthony, my brother, a total winner with a great sense of style." "(CRYING)" "And baby Trevor." "Sorry, pal." "Definitely not coming off." "Bottom line, today was an epic disaster." "The worst day possible." "Everyone in my family would agree." "But what they don't know, is it was all my fault." "And it wasn't over yet." " (ANIMAL HISSING) - (ALL SCREAMING)" "(DIDGERIDOO BLARING)" "Yöu overslept, bud." "Don't blow my didgeridoo!" "What's it for, then?" "(DOOR CLOSES)" "(GROANS)" "(COMPUTER BEEPS)" "MALE VOICE:" "Yöu're invited!" "Philip Parker turning 12." "Tomorrow night?" "No!" "He's the trick to..." "Good morning!" "Oh!" "There she is!" "Yöu are going to be so impressed." "I made what is known as... the crustless quiche, the frittata." "Wow." "What is this?" "Two months ago, yöu couldn't even grill cheese, and now..." "Oh, that looks so good." " Oh." " Mmm." "Egg and cheese." "(LAUGHS) Excellent." "Thank yöu." "So, what are yöu gentlemen up to today?" "Well, let's see." "Em has a dentist appointment this morning..." "Right, right." "And then the two of us are going to Mommy and Me Yoga." " Oh, with Summer?" " Yes." "Will yöu tell her I still exist?" "I will." "And then when he takes his nap," "I'm gonna send out some resumes." "Good." "What a to-do to die today at a minute or two to two." "A thing distinctly hard to say but harder still to do." "We'll beat a tattoo at a minute or two and a rat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tattoo... and the dragon will come to the beat of the drum at a minute or two to two today... at a minute or two to two." " I need to pee." " Yöu have gum in yöur hair." "A big black bug bit a big black bear..." "No!" "(GRUNTS)" "BEN:" "Anthony!" "Alexander!" "Accelerate." "Come on!" "One minute!" "Hey, if it ain't broke, right?" "Guess what?" "Philip Parker's having his birthday party tomorrow night." "That's when yöu're having yöur birthday party." "I know!" "And I just got the invitation." "He's going all-out, Dad." "He's getting an energy drink bar, a Korean taco truck, a live band." "That sounds legit." "I think he's having black lights and a karaoke machine." "Oh, I love karaoke parties." "Look, can I compete with all of that?" "Oh, come on, yöur birthday's gonna be great." "It's gonna be fun." "We're gonna have pizza." "I'm gonna make a cake." "Maybe some volleyball in the pool." "Philip Parker's having a fog machine and we're having pizza?" " BEN:" "Don't worry." " Yöu're drinking coffee?" "ALEXANDER:" "What about my party?" "Since when did yöu start drinking coffee?" "I'm not a morning person." "(TREVOR CRYING)" " Can yöu check his diaper?" " Oh." "Yöu just dropped Bumble Bee." " Yöu drop Bumble Bee?" " I think he might be wet." "No." "Bumble Bee." "There yöu go." "ANTHONY:" "Wish I could be there, bro, but I got prom tomorrow night." "I thought that was next week." "It is what it is." "I'll probably be wiped out from my Peter Pan premiere... but I'll be happy to sing for yöu and all of yöur friends." "Oh!" "No, no, no." "EMILY: (SINGING) Think of a wonderful thought..." " (CAR HORN BLARING)" " Oh, probably Mrs. Gibson." "Okay." "Honey, Dad's taking Emily to the dentist." "I've got Anthony." "So yöu're in carpool." " Take a frittata." "It's a crustless quiche." " There yöu go." "What did yöu do to yöur hair?" "Oh, nothing." "Say hi to Mrs. Gibson!" "Remember yöur manners." "Hi, Becky!" "Hey, Alexander." "(GRUNTS)" "Oh, are yöu okay?" " Yeah." "Yeah, I'm fine." " (HORN BLARING)" "Let's go, kids." "(SINGING) And so I cry sometimes when I'm lying in bed" "Just to get it all out, what's in my head" "And I, I am feeling a little peculiar..." "Lord of the Flies?" "Pretty scary, right?" "Lord of the Flies is beautiful, Alexander." "It's a deep and meaningful allegory about our own messed-up society." "Yeah, totally." "That's what I meant with "scary."" "The society stuff." "Crazy." " Hey, check out this app." " (CAMERA CLICKS)" "He puts yöur face on some bikini model's body." " It's really gross and sexist." " (CHUCKLES)" "This is gonna be hilarious." " What are yöu doing?" " Wait, hold on!" " No, no, no." " I'm not done." "ANTHONY:" "Hey, babe." "Is everything okay?" "Yöur last text was so cold." "No, I said, "See yöu at school"?" "(SCOFFS)" "Yeah." "I'm yöur girlfriend, Anthony." "Yöu really should end yöur texts with "x-o-x-o" or "I heart yöu."" "Yöu can make a heart with the less-than sign and a three." "Yeah, I'll try to remember." "So, a bunch of the girls were talking, and they're all going in limos." "We are getting a limo tomorrow, right?" "No, I am taking my driver's test tomorrow, babe." "The first thing I wanna do as a licensed driver is chauffeur yöu to the prom." "It'll be romantic and stuff." "Oh." "Well, I do want it to be romantic." "It Will be." "Oh." "Also, I have it from a very good source who says... we're being crowned Duke and Duchess at the Royal Court tomorrow night at prom." " That's so tight!" " I know." "Isn't it like the best thing ever?" "ALEXANDER:" "This is the worst thing ever." "PAUL:" "These look so real." "I can't believe Elliot text-bombed the whole school." "Don't worry about it, man." "Elliot's an idiot." "No one's even gonna look at these." "(LAUGHTER)" "Hey, Paul." "Philip, my man." "Nice boobs, Alexander." "(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)" "Since when are yöu friends with Philip Parker?" "We go to the same psychopharmacologist." "He's got ADHD, too." "He's super nice." "No, he's not." "He's throwing a huge party tomorrow, and it's not even his actual birthday." "His is next week." "Yöu realize it's just gonna be yöu and me at my party." " Actually, it might just be yöu." " What?" "Yöu've gotta come." "Yöu're my best friend." "Okay, but personally, I think yöu should just postpone." "Philip's popular and everybody's gonna be there." "Plus, his party sounds pretty dope." "Dude, last year yöur dad tap-danced with a cane." "Another bad party could ruin yöur rep forever." "Yöur dad's a nice guy, but trust me... yöu do not want yöur entire social life in his hands." "Whoo!" "INSTRUCTOR:" "Great job!" " Whoo!" " Yeah!" "Breathe." "Yöu gave birth." "Yöu can do this." "Two." "One." "Take yöur baby back to the womb." "They love it there." "I think that it's so cool when a guy can step up to be a full-time fommy." "A what?" "A father-mommy." "Oh!" "Okay." "Um, yeah, I guess I'm sort of a fommy by default." "I was in aerospace, and I got transitioned out of my job." "Oh, I'm sorry." "No, that's okay." "I get to spend more time with this little guy." "(CELLPHONE VIBRATES)" "Excuse me." "Hello?" "Yes, this is Ben Cooper." "Tomorrow?" "Yes, that's good." "Okay, I'll see yöu then." "I look forward to it, Greg." "Bye-bye." "Good news?" "Yeah!" "I landed an interview." "Hey!" "That's great." "What do yöu think of that?" "What do yöu think of that?" "Fommy just landed an interview." "Fommy." "Did yöu hear him say that?" "Yes!" "He just said Fommy!" " Yöu just said my name!" " WOMEN:" "Aw!" "Guys, he just said Fommy." "Did yöu hear him say Fommy?" "I'm Fommy." "Fommy!" "That was so cool." "It's so adorable!" "I am Fommy, and he said it." "So, with our celebrity readings, our great grassroots marketing campaign..." "Thank yöu, Julie... and the positive reviews we have coming in... we are poised for a really strong roll-out." "Tomorrow, we are going to ask America..." ""Who is ready to jump on the potty?"" "And I'm confident our sales are going to leap over expectations." "I know I would have appreciated this book when I was potty-training my kids!" "That's Alexander, my son." "(APPLAUSE)" "KELLY:" "Thank yöu, guys!" "Thank yöu for all yöur support with this." "Oh, man. (SIGHS)" "I hope that was thorough enough for yöu, Nina." "Well, I'm going to need yöu to make an incredible effort on "the Potty" tomorrow." "(CHUCKLES) On "the Potty."" " What?" " Yöu can count on me." "Good." "Because if this goes well, I'm going to make yöu VP." "Really?" "Have yöu run Children's Lit and Yöung Adult." "Oh!" "Thank yöu!" "Thank yöu." "I'm going to need yöu every second of every minute of every day." " Got it." " 24/7, 365." "That's a lot of numbers." "Is that a joke?" "I have four kids that I'll just have to carve out a little time to see." "Right, right, of course." "Of course yöu will." "Isn't that one of yöur darling little babies right there?" "Yeah, it is." "So yöu're seeing him right now." "All right, country reports." "As yöu all know, this is yöur big project this semester." " So, what I think..." " Mr. Rogue?" "Yeah, Alexander." "I would like to take Australia." "I know a ton about it." "And I have my own didgeridoo." "Yeah, I'm sure there a lot of students here who want Australia." "Am I right?" "So to be fair, this semester..." "I'm going to let the globe decide what country." "We'll start with yöu, Alexander." "Yöu ready?" "Here we go." "Australia." "Australia." "Australia." "What will it be?" "Ha!" "Djibouti." "Look at that, the Horn of Africa!" "All right, Djibouti!" "Dji... what?" "Who's gonna be next here?" "Philip Parker." "Here we go." "Australia." "So, like, Arnold Schwarzenegger and stuff?" "That's Austria, not Australia." " Can we switch?" " No." "Okay, Albert Morio." "Lebanon." "That's good." "(BELL RINGING)" "MALE TEACHER:" "Partner up, everybody!" "Get yöur aprons on." "Guys." "Uh, Becky... do yöu want to partner?" "Okay." "Yöu can take lab notes." ".5 milligrams of boron." "Boron..." "Boring!" "So, Becky, I'm having a birthday party tomorrow night." "It was only gonna be guys, but I can..." "Oh, thanks, but I'm going to Philip Parker's party tomorrow night." "I think everyone is." "He has a frozen yogurt machine and a trampoline." "So do we!" "We have a frozen yogurt machine and a trampoline." " Oh, my God!" " Well, yeah..." "My lab book!" " (EXCLAIMS)" " Put it out!" "(ALL SCREAMING)" "(GASPS)" "Put it out!" "Who's responsible for this?" "ALL:" "Alexander!" "Hey, Alexander!" "Hold up." "Hey, hold up!" "I'm leaving for a conference and nobody signed up to take Melvin home." "I can't leave him alone all weekend." "So, what do yöu want me to do?" "Well, yöu'll make a furry friend a little less lonely." "Unbelievable." "(HONKING)" "(CHUCKLES)" "Cool, we're hosting a guinea pig." "All right!" "Sorry we're late." "We had a little diaper trauma at Trader Joe's." "(DOOR CLOSES)" "BEN:" "Hello!" " Hi!" " ALEXANDER:" "Hi, Mom." "There's my big boy." "Hi!" "There yöu are." "Hi, big guy." " What is that?" " Melvin." "BEN:" "We're hosting Melvin this weekend." "KELLY:" "Oh, boy." "(YELLS)" "Alexander, would yöu grab that and wash it off, please?" "He needs Bumble Bee like he needs air." " (TREVOR CRYING)" " I know, honey pie." "And after that, the pig goes upstairs." " (CRYING CONTINUES)" " BEN:" "Shh, it's okay." "KELLY:" "Bumble Bee's just getting a bath." "It will be right back." "Alexander, we could use Bumble Bee." "Bumble Bee is coming right back, right back, right back any second." "Oh!" "Dad, don't!" "(WASTE DISPOSAL WHIRRING)" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "What was that?" "(SIGHS)" "Honey, Bumble Bee's gone." "Peter Pan is going to be awesome." "Today, Mr. Brand said that I am the most poised and elegant Peter Pan... he's ever had the privilege of working with." "No way!" "Wow." "When is that, again?" "Just remind me." " Mom, hello!" "It's tomorrow afternoon!" " Of course." "Please be on time and don't be embarrassing." "Best behavior." "Honey, please don't embarrass our daughter." " Dad, that includes yöu." " BEN:" "I know." "I'll be there, honey, don't worry." "ANTHONY:" "Guess who's getting crowned Duke at the prom tomorrow." "Really?" "Congratulations." "Yeah, it's not official, but Celia heard from a good source." "It's kind of crazy." "I'm dating the hottest girl in school..." "I'm getting crowned at prom, and once I get my license tomorrow..." "I kind of have everything I've ever wanted." " Hashtag blessed, yöu know." " KELLY:" "Wait." "Once yöu get yöur license tomorrow?" "I'm taking my test after school." "Dad already said it was cool." "Yöu said it was cool?" "I said it was doable." "Not cool." "I said it was doable." "Okay." "It will be fine." "We'll make it." "Okay, guys, I have some news." "Nina said that if the book launch goes well tomorrow... yöu could be looking at the new Vice President of Lone Hill Press." "Honey, wow!" "That's big." "Yeah, it would be a lot more hours at work..." "I already feel like I live there some days, but the raise would be nice." "Awesome." "I have some news as well." "I got a call today." "I have an interview for a game design firm." "They're looking for engineers." " Wait, video games?" "Really?" " Yeah." "Yeah." "Yöur aerospace engineering dad might be designing video games." " That's so cool." " BEN:" "I know." "I know." "Oh!" "The best news of all..." "Guess who spoke his first word today?" "Trevor." "KELLY:" "No!" "BEN:" "Yes." "What did yöu say?" "EMILY:" "What was it?" "He said fommy." " He said fommy?" " Yeah." " What's that?" " Father-mommy." "I didn't know that was a word." "BEN:" "Wow, we all had pretty big wins today." " Yeah." " Yeah, tell me about it." "I had a crap day." "What is that smell?" "It's Vegemite." "It's from Australia, and back off!" "BEN:" "Hey, hey, hey!" "Easy." "Yöu're gonna have a good day tomorrow." "It's yöur birthday." "Yöu have friends coming over, it's gonna be a great party." "Actually, yöu can forget it, because I'm canceling my party." " What are yöu talking about?" " Why?" "ALEXANDER:" "Nobody's coming." "They're all going to Philip Parker's party tomorrow night." "Who is this Philip Parker?" "He's a really cool kid with a hot tub and ADHD." " I'm gonna call his mom..." " ALEXANDER:" "No!" "No, no, no." "We're gonna forget about Philip Parker." "Whoever comes to the party comes." "It's gonna be great." "Trust me, nobody is coming." "Elliot Gibson texted pictures of me in a butt thong to everyone at school." "My best friend is suddenly best friends with Philip... because they go to the same dumb psychopharmacologist." "I didn't get Australia for my school report... and I burned down the science lab with Becky Gibson's lab notes." " What did yöu do?" " Yöu burned down the science lab?" "Dude, big deal." "So things didn't go yöur way today." "Go my way?" "It was a totally wrecked bad day." "And it's not just today!" "It is every single day." "Every day!" "Yöu don't even care because yöur lives are all so perfect!" "No, we care." "We care, honey." " What?" " Sweetie." "ANTHONY:" "Where's Bumble Bee?" "Alexander murdered it, so now he's going to cry all night." " Can't yöu just get him a new one?" " BEN:" "No." "It's only Bumble Bee." "It's the only one he likes." "KELLY:" "It's gotta be Bumble Bee." "EMILY:" "I can't deal with this." "I'm going to rehearse in the car." "Maybe this is the time to wean him from the pacifier." "Honey, easy for yöu to say." "Yöu're not here with him all day." "(SINGING) Think of a wonderful thought Any merry little thought" "Think of Christmas, think of snow" "Think of sleigh bells, off yöu go" "Like reindeer in the sky" "Yöu can fly, yöu can fly Yöu can fly" "Anthony?" "I feel like no one understands me." "I do. I get yöu." "Yöu do?" "Yeah." "Come on, yöu're amazing." "Really?" "Yöu think I'm amazing?" "Honestly, I love yöu so much." "I love yöu, too." "I love yöu more." "(CHUCKLES)" "No, I love yöu more." "And don't get me started on that cute little butt of yöurs." "What?" "What?" "Why are yöu "what" -ing me?" "What's yöur problem?" " Excuse me'?" " Yöu know what?" "Yöu're so annoying." "Why can't yöu just chill out?" "For one second?" "Yöu're exhausting." "Are yöu kidding?" "Sorry, Celia." "That was my idiot brother." "Celia?" "Seriously?" "Now she won't pick up!" "I'm worried about Alexander." "I mean, of all the years for everyone to bail on his birthday." "He's been so moody since I had Trevor and started work." "Don't worry about it." "He's 12." "Everybody's moody at that age." "How's he already 12?" "I know." "Just happened." "That's the problem." "Everything is just happening so fast." "Yeah." "This house is like a train station." "Everyone's coming and going... and Trevor's first word was "Fommy."" " Maybe I misheard that." " I don't think yöu did." "Honey, come on." "I got the kids covered." "I got the house covered." "Yöu're killing it at work." "Things have never been better." "Oh, please." " Never been better?" " It's true." "Ben... yöu've been unemployed for the past seven months." "(SIGHS)" "Aren't yöu stressed out?" "Yeah." "A little bit." "Why aren't yöu freaking out more?" "What good would freaking out do?" "Then I'd just be freaked out and unemployed." "Tomorrow I'm gonna nail that interview." "Big day tomorrow." "It's 12:01, Melvin." "It's my birthday." "Yöu ever feel alone in the world?" "I just wish they understood!" "I just wish they knew what it felt like... to have a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day!" "(SIGHS)" "(SNORING)" "(BLOWS NOSE)" "Shouldn't yöu guys be up?" "Who hit snooze?" " BEN:" "What time is it?" " Who hit snooze?" " It's morning." "It's morning." " Okay, okay." "Go, go, go." " I have to take a shower." " All right." "Okay, okay." "All right, okay." "All right." "Does anyone know where the diapers are?" "(TREVOR CONTINUES CRYING)" "ALEXANDER:" "I'm in here!" "Hey, honey?" "Wow!" "Yöu look terrible." "Are yöu okay?" "No, I'm not okay." "Peter Pan can't have a cold, Dad." "Okay." "Oh, come... (GROANS)" "Harsh." "Bro, I gotta take a shower." "I gotta get to school." "Celia won't call me back." "(SCREAMS)" "No!" "No way, not today!" "Get out, dude." "Get out!" "ANTHONY:" "Why today?" "This is the worst day!" "No!" "(EMILY COUGHING)" "KELLY:" "I am so late." "Emily?" "I'm coming in for a razor, honey." " Mom!" " Mom!" " (EXCLAIMS)" " Mom, get out!" "I'm sorry!" "Sorry." "Sorry." "I'll wear pants!" "(GROANS) Mother!" " Good morning." " Speak for yöurself." "Oh." " Dad?" " Yeah!" "Trevor's peeing!" "Where's his diaper?" "BEN:" "I'm looking!" "Oh!" "(GROANS)" "Hey!" "There's the birthday boy." "Okay, come here." "Okay, yöu know what?" "I want yöu to have a great day." "Yöu are the captain of yöur ship." "Steer yöur ship with positivity." "Oh!" "Come on!" "What is wrong with yöu people?" "Anthony!" "Dad, are yöu okay?" "Look, yöu're older already." "I'm sorry, honey, I have to run." "I have a huge event... and my foot is killing me." "I'm already late." "Ben, put a diaper on it." "We'll celebrate tonight, okay?" "I'm trying." "(EXHALES)" "Emily!" "KELLY:" "Emily?" "Emily!" "Yöu left the light on in my car all night." "The battery's dead." "I'm the one who had to rehearse in a cold car, and now I'm sick!" "Peter Pan!" " What happened to yöur head?" " KELLY:" "Ben, we gotta go!" "It's a zit." "Is it that bad?" "Yöu should put a Band-Aid on that." "Ben!" "We have got to go!" "Yöu are my ride." "Let's go, people." "Alexander, into the car." "We have got to go!" "Everybody, out of the house!" "Broom it out!" " (MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO) - (TREVOR CRYING)" "KELLY:" "Get out of yöur comfort zone." "Push it." "Push it." "Yöu miss Bumble Bee, don't yöu?" "Why is Anthony driving?" "I feel sick enough as it is." "I need practice for my driver's test today." "Okay!" "Then can we at least change the music, please?" "(HARD ROCK SONG PLAYING)" "That's good." "Leave that!" "Yöu like that?" "Yeah!" "That's good." "Wonderful." "I can't believe I'm sick." "I cannot believe that this guy is 12 years old." "Thanks, Dad." "This is not gonna work for me." "Yöu're gonna have to get around there, make a left on Brookwood." " There's no room." " Get aggressive!" "We have places to be." "Yöu're doing great." "Mom, do yöu mind?" "Please." "What?" "Because of this morning?" "It's not the first time I've seen yöur penis, Anthony!" " Mom saw yöur penis?" " Yep!" "KELLY:" "I've seen yöurs too, Alexander." "I've seen every penis in this car!" "Every penis." " Come on!" " (HORN BLARING)" "Excuse me, sir!" "Excuse me, sir, in the ironic Mini Cooper!" "Yöu're gonna have to put down the latte... and move or I am gonna come and do it for yöu!" "Sir, I am gonna come..." "Thank yöu, son." "BEN:" "Easy, hon." "Nice and slow." "Nice and slow, sweets." "Gently, gently." "There yöu go, honey." "KELLY:" "Move, move, move." "BEN:" "Go, go, go." "It's okay, baby." "Mom's gotta go." "Have a good day." "Do yöu have lunch money?" " Yes?" " Got it." " BEN:" "Love yöu." " (HORN BLARING)" "Mom!" "This is not gonna work." "This is not gonna work!" "Let's go!" "Fold in." "Woodwinds, make a window!" " Come on!" "Let's go, kids!" " (BELL RINGING)" "The bell is ringing!" "Go, march, march!" "Move it on in there." "Fold in." "Hustle!" "Excuse me!" "Excuse me!" "Okay, come on!" "This day is so cursed." "KELLY:" "Everybody move out of the way." "Just move out of the way." "Make a window!" " Go." "Here." " All right." "Goodbye." "Take yöur stuff." "Have a good day, honey!" "Here we go, boys." "ANTHONY:" "Celia!" "Celia, wait up!" "What's wrong?" "Yöu haven't answered yöur phone since last night." "Why do yöu care?" "I thought I was so exhausting." "I wasn't talking to yöu." "I was talking to my idiot brother." " Whatever." " I tried calling yöu back!" "I really didn't feel like talking to yöu." "I just don't think yöu understand... the emotional responsibilities that come from having a girlfriend." "Wait, are yöu breaking up with me?" "What about tonight?" "I don't even wanna go." "Sorry." "Morning!" "WOMAN:" "Good morning!" "Try calling again!" "Sorry I'm late." "I had a little car trouble." "My husband had to drop me off." " What happened?" " This happened!" "And not just the cover." "No." "15 times throughout the book." "But it must be some horrible mistake at the printer!" "I don't know, Cooper." "Yöu're the one who did the final proof!" "We can't have that in a children's book!" "We just pulled the plug on publication." "So, that's good." "But we have an even bigger problem." "Celebrity readings." "Dick Van Dyke!" "I've been calling all morning, but I can't get through." "Oh no." "I will get down there." "I will fix this." "I will take care of this!" "He won't read it." "Yöu can count on me!" "Oh, Abby, great." "I need to borrow yöur car." "It's a work emergency." "I ride a bike, actually." "It's good exercise and good for the planet." "Just tell me where it is!" "Dude, I've been looking for yöu everywhere." "Have yöu heard about Philip Parker?" "I don't wanna hear anything more about his amazing party." "No." "It's canceled." "What?" "Yeah!" "He woke up with chicken pox." "He texted me this picture." "These things are everywhere." "Oh!" "They're even in his butt crack." "So, his party's not on?" "No!" "So everyone's coming to yöurs again!" " Really?" " Great, right?" "His pox is yöur gain." "(EXHALES)" "Oh." "I gotta go." "I gotta go." "Becky!" "Becky, Becky." "Wait, wait up." "Hi!" "I am really sorry about burning yöur binder yesterday." "Today's a new day, and I thought that we could go ahead... and sail our ships with positivity!" "Wow, okay." "Anyway, Philip Parker has chicken pox." "But my party's still on." "So if yöu want to swing by, it's gonna be pretty cool." " Is that right?" " Yeah." "I actually feel bad Philip's gonna miss such a sweet party, but... what can yöu do when yöu got the pox?" "Okay, maybe." "Fantastic!" "Maybe I'll see yöu later then." "Okay." "See yöu." "See yöu!" "No." "BEN:" "Should I put more over here?" "(CELLPHONE RINGING)" "Hey, birthday boy!" "Nothing goofy, Dad." " What?" "Alexander?" " Yeah... and we're gonna need enough food, cake and drinks for 50 kids." " Everyone's coming." " Okay, okay." "Hold on." "Now hold on." " What are yöu talking about?" " (TREVOR CRYING)" "Philip Parker has chicken pox." " The Party's on!" " Hey!" "That's fantastic." "I mean, for yöu." "Yeah." "And guess what?" "Elliot got busted for text-bombing the school." "So I took yöur advice and steered my ship with positivity." "And now Becky Gibson might be coming, too." "So no magic tricks." "No tap dancing, nothing dorky." " Yöu got it." " I'm turning 12." "Got it. 12-year-old cool straight up." " Do it right now." " It's just allergies." "Really?" "Hey, Em." "What's up?" "They're making me miss dress rehearsal to lay down in the infirmary." "Oh!" "And Anthony called me." "Celia broke up with him." "They're going to prom tonight." "Apparently not anymore." "Can I be excused?" "Yes." "What?" "Listen..." "I am sorry about last night." "Yöu have to believe me." "I would never say those things about yöu." "And tonight, I'm going to make it up to yöu." "X-O-X-O." "I heart yöu." "Look, I just want everything to be perfect tonight." "Please... be my date for the prom." "(DOOR OPENS)" "WOMAN:" "This isn't Gossip Girl, yöu two." "Get back inside, Celia." "See yöu tonight." "Yes!" "(DOOR OPENING)" "(MURMURING)" "Let's go, Wreck-It Ralph." "Principal's office now!" "Are yöu sure I can't just drop him off with yöu?" "KELLY ON PHONE:" "Honey, there's no way." "Not today." "What happened to the babysitter?" "Oh, she had to cancel again." "Yöu know what?" "It's okay." "I'll just take him with me." "Yöu're taking Trevor to the interview?" "Yeah, I'll be fine." "How's he doing without Bumble Bee?" "Um, he is..." "He is hanging in there." "He's doing okay." "Okay, honey." "I gotta go." "I gotta go." "Good luck!" "Thanks, yöu too, hon." "(CELLPHONE RINGING)" "Hey, Anthony, what's up?" "Dad, I broke a trophy case and got suspended." " What?" " Yöu have to come and pick me up." "No!" "Yöu gotta be kidding me." "They say yöu need to come get me." "No, no." "Yöu're gonna have to wait at the Principal's office till I'm done with my interview." "Fine, I'll be here." "Okay, bye." "(TREVOR CONTINUES CRYING)" "(HORN BLARING)" "On yöur left!" "I'm on yöur right!" "On yöur right." "On yöur left." "Are yöu okay?" "I'm good." "I got it!" "I'm good." "Don't worry!" "Excuse me." "Mr. Van Dyke." "Mr. Van Dyke!" "I have been trying to reach yöu because I'm here to save yöu." "I'm from the publishing company." "Let me start again." "I'm not crazy." "WOMAN:" "Please welcome legendary performer..." " No, no." " That's my cue." "We'll have a little chat later, all right?" "This is not something we should leave until afterwards." "We wanna have a chat right now, Mr. Van Dyke!" "Please welcome Mr. Dick Van Dyke!" "Please!" "I insist that yöu get him." "And I insist yöu stay right there." " Hi, kids!" " KELLY:" "Sir!" "And hi, moms and dads." "There was a misprint!" "Just two minutes!" "If yöu guys don't know who I am, ask yöur parents." "And if they don't know... have them ask their parents." "(LAUGHTER)" "We're gonna have a great time today." " I'm gonna read to yöu." " Yöu're not gonna want to say-!" "I'm gonna read from a very special book." "Yöu ready?" "Get out of my way." "I need him." "Sir!" ""Today's the day." "Yöu're growing up!" ""I'm here to help yöu... take that dump!"" "Please don't, sir!" ""Take that dump in the pool!" " "Take that dump on the bed!" " (GROANS)" ""But, don't take a dump on yöur, on yöur brother's head." ""Yöu can take a dump like a frog." ""I'll take a big dump like a dog!"" "No!" "It's "jump"!" "It's just jump, sir." "Not dump." "Would yöu excuse me for a moment?" "I never agreed to do this kind of..." "KELLY:" "There was a misprint." "Jump like a frog." "One little letter." "It was a mistake!" "It was meant to be jump!" "I'm so sorry." "There she is, right there, with the bad hair!" "She's behind this." "(CHILDREN CRYING)" "Okay, we got this." "We got this, right?" "Yöu good?" "Yöu cool?" "Yöu ready?" "Yöu ready to nail this?" "All right." "(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)" "Oh, wow!" "Hey, man, guys are ready for yöu." " Let's go." " Oh, great, thank yöu." "At first we thought it was a little weird that yöu even applied for this job... because we're pretty yöung and yöu're..." "Older." " Yeah." " Yeah." "Kind of decrepit." "But then we took a look at yöur resume, and yöur experience is awesome." "Yöu're part of the space station design team." "Yöu have a Ph.D. in orbital mechanics." "I mean, for real?" "For real." "Sorry." "Hey, yöu." "He's a little out of sorts today." "(TREVOR COOING)" "(CHUCKLES) It's so hard to find the Bumble Bee pacifier." "It would blow yöur mind." "Anyway..." "Here yöu go." "He's just gonna play for a while." "And, kids are crazy." "They're fun." "Yeah." "So, what were we talking about?" "We're thinking about launching this game." "We want it to be a space station simulation strategy game." "We want it to be authentic and completely immersive." "BEN:" "That sounds really exciting." "That's in my wheelhouse." "Great!" "We wanna hear some ideas." "I guess my first idea would be modular evolution." "Cool." "Space stations are not static." "They grow over time." "So yöu would want to start with perhaps a small space station... and grow it into an enormous space station." "And I think players should have that opportunity." "They could add greenhouses." "They could add labs." "They could grow a space station... as big as their imagination." " Uh..." "Yöur kid." " Oh!" "Yöu know what, that'll be fine." "Because we can get daycare, so that won't be an issue." "No, no, no." "Yöur kid right now... his face is all green." "Oh!" "Wow, Trev." "Trevor." "I know." "That's not for eating." "Yoshi, what's up, man?" "Good news to report or what?" "Actually, we have a Skype call we gotta take." "But we will call yöu back." "Okay." "Yöu'll call me back?" " Yeah." " All right." "Great." "All right, we'll head out." "Yöu ready to go?" "Anthony, of all the days for yöu to get sent home, it had to be today?" "Dad, it was a freak accident!" "Don't!" "(BABBLING)" "What happened to Trevor?" "(BABBLING)" "That's real mature, Dad." "Hey, Salamander." "Hey, Dad!" "Whoa!" "What happened to Trevor?" "He ate a delicious green marker for lunch." " Why are yöu here?" " Shut up." "Em, I thought yöu had to stay to get ready for yöur play." "I need drugs." "Real drugs." "The nurse will only give me baby aspirin." "What happened to Trevor?" "Emily, we're not gonna pump yöu full of medicine." "Yöu're not a cyclist." "I'm not asking for steroids." "I need cough syrup, something." "Wait, Dad!" "How was yöur interview?" "It was not a good fit." "But, yöu know?" "We'll see what happens." "It was fine." "Try again next time." " Hello." " Hi, Mr. Brand." "I know she's not 100%, but... as they say, the show must go on." "So, if yöu could get her back here by 3:00 for hair and makeup... that would be tremendous." "Em, yöu look terrible." "Maybe yöu should have yöur understudy do it?" "No!" "Nobody wears those tights but me." "Pharmacy, pronto!" "Nobody wears the tights but her." "(EXHALES)" "(LINE RINGING)" "(EMILY SNEEZING)" "WOMAN: (OVER PA) Any available cashier to register two." "Extra strength or regular?" "What do yöu think?" "Excuse me." "Do yöu have a Bumble Bee pacifier?" "Does it have to be Bumble Bee?" "It has to be the Bumble Bee." "Yes, because this ain't gonna last." " Thank yöu." " (CELLPHONE CONTINUES RINGING)" "Hey, how'd the reading go?" "KELLY ON PHONE:" "It could've gone better." "Honey, I'm sure it was great." "Uh, well..." "Well, yöu know what, I'm sure it was not that bad, really." "That girl with the awful hair, I think." "No, no." "I thought, maybe..." "No, it's bad." "It was bad." "It was lose-my-job bad." "Really?" "Anthony, come on!" "No, please." "Stop it." " No, I'm just..." " Stop it!" "What are yöu doing?" "Why is Anthony with yöu?" "He was suspended from school... for destroying school property." " What?" "What happened?" " It's fine." "It was an accident." "I'll tell yöu about it later." "Okay, so, Em is getting her cough syrup." "I'm taking Anthony to his driver's test." "And, good news!" "50 kids are coming over tonight." "The party is on!" "Boy, this is..." " Maybe I should meet yöu." "I'm not far." " It's fine!" "Hon, I'm totally..." "Hold on." " No, we don't have one." " (GROANS)" "Daddy wishes he could swear right now." "Hey, question." "Permanent marker, do yöu know if it's poisonous?" "Because he might have ingested some." "What?" " Ben!" " Honey, honey..." " I'm coming!" " No, no, no!" "I'm good." "Tell Trevor Mama's on her way!" "Nobody's home." "Call 'em, dude." "BEN:" "Anthony, are yöu sure yöu're up for this today?" "Dad, it's now or never." "I promised Celia." "All right." "Well, anything worth doing is worth doing well." " Try not to kill anybody." " (CELLPHONE RINGING)" "Hello." "Yeah." "I'm not gonna be back for a while, so, the gate's open." "Just go in, start setting everything up." "Are yöu sure yöu guys can handle this?" "Yeah, yeah, no problem." "We'll be ready to party." "Okay.." " Okay, great." " See yöu later." "Thanks." " Let's do this." " Yeah." "BEN:" "Emily, just the recommended dosage, please." "That stuff's pretty strong." "KELLY:" "Hi, guys." "Hey, there's Mama." "Why is my baby green?" "Well, things went a little awry today." "Honey." " Look who it is." " Ben, he's green." " I know." " What is this?" "It's marker." "It's fine." "How did it go?" "How was the reading?" "It was awful." "I think I pretty much flushed my career down the potty." "BEN:" "Why, what happened?" "Never mind." "Can I have the wipes?" " Dad!" " Sorry." "I'm sorry." "I told yöu this day was cursed." "BEN:" "Sorry." "WOMAN: (OVER PA) Cooper." "Anthony Cooper." " All right, wish me luck." " Good luck, baby." " Here yöu go." " Anthony Cooper." "Wait, Anthony!" "Please don't do it today." "Yöu're gonna fail." "BEN:" "Alexander... give yöur brother some space, please." "Yeah, the next time yöu see this face, it's gonna be on my driver's license." "It's not coming off." "Just hurry up!" "I need to get to my play." "KELLY:" "What kind of a person..." "It's not poisonous." "I don't think it's poisonous." "Hi, I'm Anthony." "I'm really excited..." "There are only two things yöu need to know." "My name is Ms. Suggs and I'll be yöur driving examiner." "Now, yöu may be the big man on campus out there... but in this minivan, I'm the B.M.O.C." "Yöu get me?" "Now put yöur hands at 10 and 2, and show me what yöu can do." "Hi, Mom, how yöu doing?" "How's yöur day going so far?" " Okay, I'm just gonna..." " What?" "Just make this little call." "Okay." "Yeah, it's... (CELLPHONE RINGING)" "(LAUGHS)" "Cooper!" "Where are yöu?" "My family had a little situation, so..." "Really?" "That's funny." "Because we're having a little bit of a situation here!" "The phones are going crazy." "What happened at that reading?" "Well, it was a really good crowd." "It was a big, big crowd." "Big turnout." "And the parents seemed to have a lot to say." " They responded." " Did they?" "Did they respond to Dick Van Dyke asking their toddlers... if they could take a dump like a dog?" "I thought I could count on yöu." "We'll discuss this later." "I look forward to..." "I look forward to that." "Tell me something, Anthony." "Are yöu a senior citizen?" "No, ma'am." "Well, then why are yöu driving 15 miles an hour in a 25 mile zone?" "Come on, speed it up." "That's right." "That is right." "Boy." "Change lanes." "Now, I want yöu to take a right up here." "All right." "Okay." "(CELLPHONE VIBRATING)" "Celia's calling." "It's my girlfriend." "Probably wants to talk prom plans." "Tonight's the prom." "Well, I'll just ignore that." "It seems like she's very anxious to talk to yöu." "No." "No, no." "I'm driving." "I would never answer the phone when I'm driving." "No." "No matter what circumstance." "But, yöu know, proms don't happen every day." "That's true." "Yöu sure?" "It'll just be super quick." "It's not..." "What's important to yöu is important to me." "Right?" "Hey, Celia." "I can't really talk right now, but..." " Put the phone down!" " What?" "Put the mobile device down now!" "Hey, eyes on the road!" "No, no!" "(SCREAMING)" "Yöu're gonna kill us!" "What is wrong with yöu?" "What are yöu doing?" "What are yöu..." "What are yöu doing?" "Yöu fool!" "Yöu tricked me!" "Get outta this car." " Yöu get out of this car." " Yöu're evil!" "Yöu prom creep!" " I don't think he passed." " SUGGS:" "Get out!" "Get out!" "(SIGHS)" "ANTHONY:" "This is yöur fault." "If yöu hadn't caused a fight between me and Celia..." "I would've never picked up that call..." " and failed my test." " No, no, no." "Anthony, yöu are not passing the blame on this one." "I told yöu today might not be a good day to take the test." "Dad, I had to take the test today." "No, yöu didn't have to take the test today." "EMILY:" "It is all Alexander's fault." "If he hadn't dropped Trevor's paci down the disposal..." "I never would have rehearsed in a cold car and gotten sick." "That's also yöur fault." "KELLY:" "If yöu hadn't left the battery on in my car all night..." "I wouldn't have been late to work... and Dick Van Dyke wouldn't be mad at me." "Chim Chiminey wants to kill me!" "Can yöu imagine?" "Mom, Trevor was crying!" "Where was I supposed to rehearse?" "How were yöu able to hit every parking meter on that street?" "When I was in the bathroom this morning, Mom saw me naked!" "I don't think yöu left a speck of paint!" "ANTHONY:" "Her fault!" "She's an evil woman." "Boom, boom, boom, one right after the other." "Stop, yöu guys!" "Okay, stop!" "It was my fault." "I'm to blame for all of it." "For everything." "Yeah, see?" "I told yöu." "BEN:" "No, hold on, hold on." "Alexander, what are yöu saying?" "Okay, look." "Last night I made myself a birthday sundae and I made a wish on a candle... and I think I cursed this day for all of yöu." " Yöu did what?" " I'm sorry." "I just wanted yöu guys to know what it was like... to have a massively horrible, terrible day." "So I wished it... and now yöu're all having one." "(SNIGGERS)" "BEN:" "Alexander, as incredible as it would be... for yöu to have that kind of supernatural ability..." "I don't think yöu can actually curse a day, buddy." "KELLY:" "Yeah, sweetie, this isn't yöur fault." "We just bit off more than we could chew today... and it isn't going our way." "No, look, I did curse the day." "I don't know how, but I did, and it worked." "And now Emily's gonna miss her play... and Anthony's not gonna be able to drive Celia to the prom." "He's been waiting all year to make out with her in the back of the van." "Okay, we don't need to hear that." "ALEXANDER:" "Okay, I'm sorry." "I'm really sorry." "Just forget my party." "It'll be a disaster anyway." "Apology not accepted." "Look... this day is not ruined, because this day is not over yet." "Dad, yöu're so right." "I may be sick, but there's no way I'm missing opening night." "I may have wrecked the van... but I'm not missing prom with Celia." "I can't." "BEN:" "Look, we are not going to let this day get the better of us." "It's like last week at Target when Dad lost Trevor for 45 minutes." " Okay." " Yeah." "And the store manager wanted to call the cops... but Dad said, "No!"" " We found him." " "We are gonna keep looking."" "We will keep looking for my baby?" ""We will find my baby."" "They sealed the doors." "It was fine." " What's wrong with yöu?" " Okay, okay, okay, okay." "ANTHONY:" "Okay, guys, okay." "It's past 3:00, so if we're gonna go, we gotta do this now." "Are we ready, Coopers?" "All right!" "Clap those hands if yöu believe in fairies!" "Emily, are yöu okay?" "Mom!" "Positivism." "Let's do this thing." "BEN:" "Get in there, get in there." " Buckle, buckle!" " Buckle, buckle!" "Go, go, go, go, go!" "It seems we may have accidentally given yöur tux away." "Well, get it back." "Sir, I cannot un-tux a client." "My sister's Peter Pan and we've got 10 minutes till curtain." "Yöu better un-tux something." "There is one option." "Yöu might be able to pull it off." "All right, fire up." "Come on, let's go." "Coopers on the move!" "We got it." "All right." "Anthony, find a seat." "Break a leg, Em." "I'm here!" "Get some more of this." "Honey?" "Hon, hon." "Em." "Em." "Sweetie, I think yöu've had plenty of that." "It's okay, honey." " Peter Pan is here, everybody!" " Excuse me, people." " Everybody, Peter's here!" " Excuse us, excuse us." " Yöu look so pretty." " Superstar coming through." "(SINGING) Superstar" "Excuse me, everyone." "All right." "I love yöur outfit." "Okay." "I said 3:00." "Yöu have no idea the kind of day we are having." "It's a miracle we're here." "Well, yöu're late, which is not professional behavior." "No!" "And it's not professional... because this is an eighth grade production of Peter Pan." "And if yöu could take one look at our minivan..." "Mr. Brand, I am not somebody" " that yöu wanna mess with right now." " (EMILY BLOWING RASPBERRIES)" "(LAUGHING)" "So grab her some green tights and a harness... and fire up her Tinker Bell!" "WOMAN:" "As soon as yöu have yöur costumes on... go for yöur hair." "Way to go, Daddy-O!" " Break a leg, sweetie." " Good luck!" "WOMAN:" "Show's about to start, Emily." "We've got to get yöu going." "Everything's under control." "Yeah." "Yöu okay?" "Yeah." "(MUSIC PLAYING)" " I'm excited about this." " Yeah." "It's gonna be great." "Yeah, I think so." "Good night, Mother." "Good night, Father." "Now, yöu two be quiet and I'll tell yöu a story." "What sort of story?" "GIRL:" "The best sort." "One filled with magic and fairies and savage pirates... called Never Never Land." "Hi, hello!" "(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)" "Whoa!" "No!" "EMILY:" "I'm a little boy named Peter Pan!" " Hello!" "How are yöu?" " KELLY:" "What's wrong with her?" "It must be the cough syrup." "So good to see yöu." "(SCREAMS)" "(ALL GASP)" "Peter Pan is in the house!" "(AUDIENCE GROANING)" "(SINGING) Think of a wonderful thought" "Get the hook and get her down!" "Any merry little thought" " Oh, no!" " Hook her down!" "Hook her!" "I'm floating." "I'm floating." "Get her!" "Reindeer in the sky" "Let go!" " Get her down!" " Let go of me!" "Let go of me right now!" "Let go!" "Everybody, fly!" "(EMILY LAUGHING)" "(WHOOPING)" "She's okay." "She's all right." "There she is." "Ta-da!" "Thank yöu, everybody." "Thank yöu." "Oh, my God, Josephine, hi!" "Daniel, hi!" "Hi!" "Hello, everybody." "Take some pixie dust!" "Thank yöu, thank yöu!" "How much cough syrup did she have?" "Clearly, way too much." "There she is." " Hi!" " Hey, honey." "Wow." "Well, that was an incredible thing to watch." "I think I broke Captain Hook's nose." "KELLY:" "Sweetie, it's not yöur fault." "We shouldn't have let yöu go out there today." "No, yöu can't fool around with medicine, hon." "Emily." "Emily." "Dude, yöu crushed it!" "I gotta change into my tux." " Mr. Brand?" " Not now." "Can't speak." "Honey, it's all going to be okay." "Trust me." "Love yöu, Dad." "Love yöu, too." "Okay, sweetie." "Okay, honey." "That felt good." "Yöu get that out." "Let's go outside and get yöu some air." "I'm sorry." "No, honey, it's fine." " KELLY:" "Okay." " It's fine." " When did she start eating carrots?" " Uh..." "Yöur sister has excellent aim." "Can I have another towel?" "Thanks." "Oh, man." "(CELLPHONE RINGING)" "Hello?" "Hey, Greg." "No, now's a fine time." "Yöu did?" "No, I'm not surprised." "I thought it was a killer interview also." "Uh..huh." "Yöu wanna meet?" "Okay." "Well, now actually isn't a really good time." "No." "No, no, no." " Go, go, go!" " Drinks at Nagamaki?" " Go!" " Could yöu hold on a second, Greg?" "Alexander, I appreciate what yöu're trying to do... but our plate is full." "We got too much going on tonight, kiddo." "Dad, curse or no curse... just go for it!" "Greg, we're gonna go for it." "Yeah, I will see yöu at Nagamaki later, okay?" "Okay." "Good." "I look forward to it." "Thanks." "Bye-bye." "Awesome!" "Okay." "I reek." "Yöu do." "Oh, look." "Wait." "This looks like yöur size." "I'm not going to wear a pirate blouse." "Pirate or puke, yöur choice." "It's okay, Em." "It took a lot of courage to fly out on that stage tonight." "Do yöu have any idea how proud we are of yöu?" "Yöu've always just put yöurself out there." "Yöu are fearless." "Yöu're willing to show the world who yöu really are." "That's amazing." "But if yöu're ever about to take the stage on Broadway... and yöu decide to drink a bottle of cough syrup, give me a call." "Let me talk yöu out of it." "Ladies, care to do some pillaging?" "Okay." "All right." "All right, how did I end up blue?" "Celia's gonna love it." "It's totally retro." "Just own it, kiddo." "Yöu look ridiculous." "Go get yöur Duchess, Duke." "My little boy... in a tuxedo, going to prom... in sneakers." "(DOORBELL RINGS)" "(EXHALES)" "Wow." "Yöu look amazing." "What are yöu wearing?" "Yöu look like Willy Wonka." "I'm trying something different." "(CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING)" "What's going on?" "Oh... (CHUCKLES)" "Yeah, I kind of failed my driver's test." "Oops." "Yöu look beautiful, Celia." "'Course I do." "Yeah, that's a sick dress." "I hope this isn't too much wind for yöu, Celia." "It's actually helping with the vomit smell." "So is everybody hungry?" " I am." " I am." "They're coming to dinner?" "Don't worry." "They're not gonna sit at our table." " How about some music?" " Yes." "Yes." "BEN:" "Oh." "No surprise, the radio's broken." "(IMITATING BUGLE)" "(BOTH IMITATING)" "This is just something that we do for fun sometimes." "Figured it'd make yöu laugh." "We're going to Nagamaki!" "What?" "Are yöu kidding me?" "BEN:" "Nagamaki!" "KELLY:" "They cook it on the table." "They cook it right on the table." "Like a fondue, but not." "Supposed to be a very authentic Japanese restaurant." "(ENGINE HISSES)" " Be careful." " Yes, sir." "Thank yöu." "Konnichiwa." "Welcome to Nagamaki!" "Table for two, please." "Right this way." "There they are." "(TALKING INDISTINCTLY)" "KELLY:" "Yöu okay?" "Yeah." "Honey, come on." "Ben, yöu're the smartest guy I know." "Yöu're literally a rocket scientist." "Yöu've got these guys." "Is it better tucked in?" "Yöu hesitated." "Here we go." " Go get them, buccaneer." " Thanks." "Bye." " Good luck." " Good luck, good luck." "Hey, fellas." "Is that a pirate's blouse?" "Yaar!" "(LAUGHING)" "Yes, it be!" "Yaar-some!" "Climb aboard, matey!" "How's he doing?" "He looks like he's having fun." "He does?" "They look impressed." "Oh, good." "That is exactly what I am talking about." "Yöu have multi-players..." "Survivor-style." "It's Survivor on a space station." "That's so cool." "Multi-player." "What do yöu think?" " Yoshi's gonna flip." " It would be sick." "LOGAN:" "To Ben." "The space pirates." " Space pirates." " Space pirate." "Are yöu sure yöu're not adopted?" "Yöu should try a shrimp." "They're really good." "I'm allergic to shrimp." "Yöu should know what yöur girlfriend's allergic to." "Yeah, sorry." "X-O-X-O?" "Anthony, I just can't believe, on the most important night of our lives... yöu brought me to a place where I have to watch my food... get cooked in front of me." "Who goes to Nagamaki before the prom?" "HOPE:" "It's so amazing, okay?" "Look!" "It's Hope and Dale and Heather and Dave!" "Hey, guys..." "Hey, Celia." "What's up, Anthony?" "(KISSING)" "O-M-G!" "Yöu look beautiful." " Love it." " Thanks." "Don't yöu guys just love this place?" "Totally." "I die for it." "Oh, my God, me too." "I'll catch yöu guys later?" "Okay." "(CHANTING) Space pirate!" "Space pirate!" "Space pirate!" "(ALL CONTINUE CHANTING)" "Sake bomb!" "It sounds like it couldn't be going better." "Chef Ananda!" "Shrimp me." "ALL:" "Oh!" "Yöu ready?" "Yeah, I'm ready." "One!" "That was one." "Yeah!" "Fire it up!" "ALL:" "Three!" "ALL:" "Four!" "BEN:" "Keep it going." "ALL:" "Five!" "ALL:" "Six!" "ALL:" "Seven!" "Eight!" "Nine!" "Ten!" "(CHEERING)" "Mom, Dad's on fire!" "I hope so!" "No, no, no." "He's really on fire!" "(SCREAMING)" "Drop and roll, Ben." "Drop and roll." "Drop and roll!" "Stop, drop and roll, honey." "Dad?" "I still have me arms!" "(CHUCKLES)" "Thank yöu for yöur time." "Nice job, yöu really nailed it." "Really nailed it, Ben!" "Yöu know who yöu are?" "Yöu're the flaming pirate of Nagamaki!" "(GRUNTING)" " Thank yöu!" " Whoa!" " Dad!" " Hey, guys." "Are yöu okay?" "Yeah!" "I'm good." "I'm fine." "(BEN LAUGHING)" "It's all good." "It's all good." "Dad... yöu don't always have to steer yöur ship with positivity!" "Yöu keep us up and we really appreciate it." "But some days are just bad." "Nothing can fix it." "Trust me." "I would know." "At least we're all together now." "It's my job to take care of yöu guys." "And, make sure yöu don't have bad days." " And when yöu do, it's on me!" " KELLY:" "Ben." "ALEXANDER:" "I think that yöu just... got to have the bad days so yöu can love the good days even more." "This day has been terrible!" "Terrible day." "Yeah!" "A horrible day!" "A no-good..." "Very bad day!" "(SIGHS)" "Yöu know what I think?" "I think this day sucks!" "Yes!" "It does." "Thank yöu!" "I love yöu guys." "Come here." "ALEXANDER:" "Ow!" "(GIGGLING)" "Can't breathe!" " Yöu sure?" " Yeah, totally." "Come with us." "Okay, cool." "All right, so, good news." "They have room... and they said we could go with them." "Uh..." "I don't know." "What do yöu mean, yöu don't know?" "We're not going in some busted-up minivan with yöur crazy family." "Yöu know what, go without me." "Excuse me?" "Yöu want me to go to the prom without yöu?" "ANTHONY:" "Yes." "That's what I want." "I'm sticking with my family tonight." "Yöu're choosing them over me?" "Yes, Celia." "I am." "Because they're my family." "And if they're crazy, then I guess it makes me crazy, too." "Have fun at the prom, Duchess." "What are yöu doing?" "(GRUNTS) Forget it." "So, what?" "No prom?" "It's junior prom." "The real one's next year." "What about Celia?" "I realized there's more important things than Celia." " Yöu sure?" " Very." "Good to have yöu on board." "Thanks, Dad." "What was that for?" "I didn't wish yöu happy birthday yet." "(SINGING) When there's a smile in yöur heart" "There's no better way to start" "Think of all the joy yöu'll find" "When yöu leave yöur past behind" "(ALL SCREAMING)" "How did he get in there?" "It's okay." "ALEXANDER:" "Dad, be careful." "BEN:" "There it goes." "It's okay." "Stay behind me." "Wow." "Guys, there is a kangaroo out there." "And an emu." "And a cockatoo." "And a wallaby." "EMILY:" "Wow, yöu really know yöur animals." "Yeah, they're all Australian." "What's going on?" "I don't think they were meant to be presented in quite this way." " No." " MAN:" "Hi!" "Yöu must be the Coopers." "Hey, yeah!" "This was supposed to be a petting zoo?" "A confined Australian petting zoo." "Yeah, it is." "One of the pens was open and the kangaroo got out." "Oh, yeah, the kangaroo." "There was also a crocodile in our entry hall." "So sorry about that." "We had him in the pool, and we got distracted." "Yöu don't have to worry about it." "I'll put him back in the pen." "Okay, yöu got him from here on out?" " Yeah!" " Okay, great." "Thanks." "We got yöu, Mr. Cooper." " It'll be fine, right?" " Yeah." " I don't think he's gonna get out again." " No." "Yöu guys did all of this for me?" "Yeah!" "Yöur mom and I thought yöu might enjoy a night in the Outback." "Yöu can pet him if yöu want." "His name's Winston." "Hello, Winston." "This is amazing." "Okay, guys?" "We've got guests coming any minute." "So here's what we have to do." "Emily, yöu're on music." "Anthony, fire up the barbie." "Mom, snacks." "Alexander, why don't yöu help Mom keep" "Trevor away from anything that will eat him?" "Baby safety. 10-4." "BEN:" "I think we're all good now." "Super Coopers!" "ALL:" "Super Coopers!" "Lenny!" "Get back here." "Lenny!" "Someone get him!" " I am on it!" " Ben!" "Lenny!" " Ben!" " ANTHONY:" "Dad?" "Lenny!" "Okay!" "That was pretty good!" "Where are yöu?" "Where are yöu?" "Hey!" "Hey there..." "Party kangaroo." "I'm Ben... and I want yöu to join me... back at the party." "(GRUNTS)" "Yeah!" "Nice work, Mr. Cooper." "Thank yöu, Dwayne." "Come here, Lenny." "Here we go." "What's up, man?" "Pretty cool, huh?" "This party's gonna be killer, dude." "Hey, guys!" "Yöur dad is hardcore!" "Dude, did yöu see that?" " Hey!" "Hey!" " G'day." "Yöu must be my Australian cowboys." " We sure are." " Awesome!" "Wow!" "Yöu guys are in good shape." " (HUMMING) - (CELLPHONE RINGING)" "(RINGING CONTINUES)" "Hey, Nina, how are yöu?" "It's the video game guys!" " (MOUTHING)" " BEN:" "Uh..huh." " Yeah." " No, it's a great time to talk." "No." "Just a little bit of the hair was singed." " Really?" " I know." "I know that was a lot of shrimp!" "Dude!" "Hey, yöu came!" "Happy birthday!" "This looks amazing!" "Yeah, thanks." "Look, this has been a really, really crazy day." "Looks like it turned out pretty good to me." "Yeah." "Have a good weekend, Nina..." "Have a good weekend, Greg." " And thank yöu for everything." " Thank yöu for yöur call." "Thanks." "How are yöu?" "How was that call?" "It was great." "I got the job!" " Yöu got the job?" " Yeah." "It's fantastic!" "They thought I was fun!" "Even after yöu singed yöur arms..." "Even after the thing and the thing." ""I still have me arms"?" "I was a fiery pirate!" "They loved it!" "(LAUGHS)" "Wow!" "Yöu know what the best thing is?" "As long as I'm getting the work done..." "I can make my own hours." "I'll be able to still do carpool and see the kids all the time." "Wow, I am so happy for yöu." "What about yöu?" "What about yöur call?" "How did it go?" "Dick Van Dyke's reading went viral." "500,000 hits today." "Yöu're kidding me." "Nina says the book is gonna be huge." "That is fantastic, sweetie!" "Yeah... it's great!" "KELLY:" "I cannot believe we pulled this party off." "We really turned this day around." "(MUSIC PLAYING)" "What's that?" "BEN:" "What are they doing?" "That's the Thunder from Down Under." "They're supposed to be authentic Australian cowboys." "KELLY:" "They're not." "No, no, no!" "Guys?" "Guys, PG!" "PG!" "Keep it PG!" "Please!" "(LAUGHS) Oh, no." "(ALL CHEERING)" "ALL: (CHANTING) Go, Alex!" "Go, Alex!" "Go, Alex!" "Go, Alex!" "(SINGING) Happy birthday to yöu Happy birthday to yöu" "ALEXANDER:" "After today, I know that... even terrible days aren't so bad when yöu're surrounded by the people yöu love." "Make a wish, kiddo." "Because it turns out... the worse things are... the better this family gets." "To more days like this." "ALL:" "No!" " What are yöu talking about?" " Okay, okay." "For us, this bad day... was the best day ever!" "(ALL CHEERING)" ""Hope You've Liked  Enjoyed The Movie"" "Copyright from ecOtOne™"