"Coming up this season on Backstage Passport" "We want to play as many countries as we can before we're too old to go anywhere." "NOFX!" "What is wrong with you people?" "!" "If there's two thousand kids out there, there is gonna be a riot." "If you would've shown up earlier I probably would've strangled you." "There's the truck advertising the show right now." "We have more fun than any other band in the world." "I wanna be Jewish." "A breakdance competition in Israel." "No." "I'm married and I don't fuckin' hang out with chicks to have a good time." "I swear to god we're the most dysfunctional organization there is." "WAHHHHHH!" "How do you like that buddy?" "Yeah!" "Get out of my fucking face!" "We're in Singapore." "The country you're not supposed to do any drugs in." "Ohh!" "WOO!" "I'll manage the shit out of this whole retared rock show." "We're NOFX Screwing up since 1 983" "But these days we've got mortgages and families" "So we're going on a sketchy tour No country is too obscure" "We're gonna drink, and golf, and fight and snort" "We're NOFX this is Backstage Passport" "NOFX, we've been playing for almost 25 years now." "We're the biggest punk band in the world that's totally independent." "We've never been on a major label." "We put out our own records." "We basically do everything by ourselves." "The first 10 years we were playing things were total chaos." "I used to book our tours by myself with stolen calling card numbers." "It was great because it was a disaster." "Now, we're all older and we have families and we have, you know, house payments." "Touring the US, it's just not what it used to be." "It's not dangerous anymore." "It's predictable." "And yeah, it gets a little boring." "It's corporate rock and, uh, it sucks." "So we came up with the idea, "let's play crazy cities all over the world." And it's gonna be like playing shows a long time ago because when you play weird, crazy cities, crazy shit's gonna happen." "So the plan is to start off in South America." "We're gonna go to Brazil, Argentina, Chile, Peru, Ecuador, and the source:" "Colombia." "But then, Moscow, Singapore, Beijing, South Africa." "Since most of the people in NOFX are 40--not me it's probably the last time we'll get to travel to all these crazy places." "Go around and around and AHH!" "I've been trying to plan this tour and I haven't slept properly for a minute." "We pretty much do everything ourselves, uh..." "As in I do everything." "That's what I mean by 'we" is "he" does everything." "Kent books our tours." "Whatever goes wrong, it's all his fault." "And whatever goes right is all Mike's credit." "This tour is a booking agent's nightmare." "We're not dealing with professionals at all." "It's all pretty much verbal agreements." "Kent had to deal with I don't know how many different languages." "I think it's driving him crazy." "We're hoping not to get killed or kidnapped." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "[LAUGHING]" "I really don't like leaving home for long periods of time." "It sucks." "You gonna miss daddy?" "Yeah?" "It's always been hard to leave my wife but now it's especially hard because my daughter is only two and she doesn't understand why I'm leaving her." "Doodle you want to go make a baba with daddy?" "No." "She'll give it to you I'll just make it with you." "No." "No." "I don't blame you." "I don't want to go with daddy." "You wanna go... you what?" "I don't want to go with daddy." "You don't have to go with daddy." "Oh no." "This is what I have to bring on tour to make tour fun." "I'm kind of a pill guy." "These are some sleeping pills, Sominex." "This is Imodium." "These are Atarax." "Those relax ya'." "The yellows, those are Doxepin." "Those help you sleep on the plane." "These blue ones," "I'm not sure what they're called but they make you real peppy." "The Valiums." "Valiums are a good before the show and after the show." "This is Benadryl." "Those are Aspirin." "Muscle relaxers." "And these are phenylbarbital, I think." "So that's my medicines." "The problem is I haven't practiced very much." "Whoops." "Eric Melvin has a heart of gold and hands of lead when he's playing the accordion or the guitar." "We've been best friends since we were both 16 and we both started being really bad musicians, and over all these years I've gotten a lot better." "We really kinda have to watch what we do and we're not very good at watching what we do." "I would hate for one of us to end up in jail for just being dumb." "My pre-tour ritual of shaving the head..." "NOW." "Why do we call Smelly "Smelly?" Because he used to take a lot of acid and his farts were really bad when he was on acid." "The heroin farts weren't half as bad as the acid farts." "That's where I poo." "Smelly was a junkie for six years and we gave him an ultimatum." "We said," ""If you don't stop doing heroin we're not going to let you play on our new album."" "So he quit everything and he's been sober for almost sixteen years." "Oh my god you missed this huge piece right here." "One aspect of being gone for this long is it's gonna be very hard for me." "When I'm at home," "I spend most of my day with my wife so when we're not together I miss her." "It was love at first sight and it's hard for me to be away from her." "My arm slipped!" "Oh you suck!" "What I'm looking forward to on this tour?" "Sketchy places, sketchy clubs, sketchy promoters, sketchy kids." "I love that feeling of danger." "God knows what we're gonna be stepping into." "Pop tarts." "My Twinkies." "My Oreos." "This is like my survival kit." "Did I forget anything?" "I probably shouldn't bring these, huh?" "They're gonna make me fat..." "ER." "I don't really dig the food in other countries." "I have a hard time, I'm a picky eater." "So I'm not taking any chances." "Yeah I need those." "Hefe is like a cross between Carlos Santana and Cheech Marin." "I'm not gonna say "idiot savant"" "because he won't know what "savant" means." "That's all the food." "Now I gotta put all the clothes in." " What time is the car coming?" "Fifteen minutes. " "Daddy's going bye-bye." "I don't want to give you a kiss." "You don't want to give a kiss?" "Yeah." "I have to leave, though, honey." "I love you." "My wife doesn't like that I'm going on this tour and that I'm going to crazy places because she worries about me, and she knows me, and she knows that I'm not going to take care of myself." "We're gonna be in a lot of dangerous places." "It could be a total disaster." "Manager." "In charge of everything." "He was working on this tour for weeks and I think that was it." "The damn broke." "We're in Brazil today." "We just got off the plane." "We're very tired." "We no sleep very much." "We sleep about two hours, maybe." "Maybe one hour." "And now we're gonna go to the hotel in Rio." "Our first stop of the tour is Rio!" "But we get to the hotel and Kent is totally hammered." "Kent books our tours, does our sound, he tries to manage us." "You really should have four different people doing those jobs but we have Kent." "Kent, how much did you have to drink on the plane?" "Nothing!" "Smash my head into the glass!" "I get to the hotel and Kent's hammered." "It was, "All right dude, we just got here." "We've got these responsibilities." "And you're fucking shit-faced!"" "He was working on this tour for weeks." "Losing sleep." "Stressing, stressing, stressing." "And I think that was it." "The dam broke over a bottle of Centenario." "First day." "We haven't even done the first show yet." "Manager." "In charge of everything." "I don't know what happened." "I don't know why these guys are so stupid but, hey," "I am that guy now." "I'm bleeding!" "We've so got to get him out of here." "We're gonna go see Jesus then we're gonna eat a big lunch." "It's gonna be gnarly." "Manager." "Once we sort of corralled Kent back to his room it was the middle of the day." "We had to go see the city." "Melvo!" "Yeah buddy?" "Where we going?" "Take me with you!" "Hey dude, I'll see you in an hour." "Where we going?" "We're gonna meet at the Christ." "And you're going to beg forgiveness on the mountaintop." "Kristin's trying to get a hold of Kent?" ""I haven't heard from my husband." "Just trying to make sure he's not in jail."" "[2 HOURS TO SHOWTIME]" "So we're backstage at Rio getting ready to play." "It's the countdown." "Fifteen minutes to go." "We're warming up." "And I know that this is gonna be a train wreck." "Ugh!" "I'm dead!" "I'm so in trouble." "Bahhh... bumble bee..." "We should rehearse before tours because then it gives me a chance to warm up my voice." "If we had a choice of sucking on stage or not sucking, we'd prefer the not sucking but there's not that much difference between sucking and not sucking for us." "We almost sound exactly the same and I don't even know if people would know the difference." "Now we're over firty, not looking..." "Oh god!" "This is terrible." "It's gonna be terrible." "JAY:" "Five minutes!" "Five minutes!" "Kent, you all right?" "Coming..." "I'm coming along." "Everything okay here?" "Yeah, Kent got real drunk but he showed up and did his job just like he always does." "Why didn't we practice before this tour started, Smelly?" "We're lazy." "I mean that's the real reason." "And now we're paying the price." "Actualy, no, THEY'RE paying the price." "What was there like three thousand kids there?" "Four thousand kids?" "We could hear them screaming and I'm going like, "Oh no." "We are so not ready for this." "We haven't practiced."" "The first Brazil show, it started off great." "The crowd was amazing but in the middle of it I look over at Eric Melvin and his guitar goes out." "Thirty seconds in my guitar just stops working." "Here I am in front of a couple thousand kids." "My shit doesn't work." "His guitar broke." "It took about five to ten minutes to figure it out." "It gets going and then the guy starts messing with it again and he breaks it again!" "It's just like, "Fuck!" "Can't you just roll with the punches?"" "If he just would've played his guitar, just plugged straight into the amp it would have been fine." "But he had to mess with it for 10 minutes." "And the whole crowd turned on us." "And everything just turned to crap." "Are you ready fucking dickhead?" "You Jewish piece of shit is ruining our show." "Come on!" "Let's go, buddy!" "What you're in a hurry to go somewhere else?" "You have somewhere else to be after?" "Eric Melvin says something to the crowd like, "What you got a better place to be?"" "It started turning really ugly right then." "We're fucked!" "The promoters that would never call me?" "He's crying that he fears for his mother and his sister and their lives." "We're fucked!" "It was our first show in Brazil and then Melvin's guitar broke but then he spent ten minutes working on his tuner!" "He didn't need to do that." "I mean things were going great and then he just stopped the show." "Let's do a song where you play the guitar that doesn't work!" "It worked and then, "Let's change this." "Let's try this now."" "I was trying to get the tuner working!" "Oh, that's really fucking important!" "You make it work and you go!" "We just, we couldn't get it back on track." "The show was a disaster." "It was... it was a wreck." "Hey, thank you very much." "I had a fucking great time tonight." "I don't get annoyed very often and I was pissed." "You guys were like ehh... uhhh... maybe it's this, maybe it's this, and it fucking fell apart." "No dude, you should've heard it." "It was all fucked up." "I mean you couldn't hear it." "It wasn't even there." "It was like all, "eeehhhh!" and then if I played the clean channel it was this..." "It was nothing." "Melvin kinda forgot what our band's about so I was a little upset and I just, you know," "I had to say something to him." "Like, Dude!" "Just get your guitar working so we can play!" "Remember when we used to record records with no tuners?" "Brazil was like our safety net." "We'd been there before, we had a good promoter, and everything went well except for us." "We didn't go well." "And now we're going to countries that we really have no idea what's going to happen." "One of the most exciting destinations on the whole tour had to be Medellin." "Drug capital of the world." "Super scary." "One of the most dangerous cities in the whole world and, coincidentally, one of the places where we heard nothing from the promoters." "On our own we called the club that he told us we were playing at and they said that they had no idea of our show." "So what are we supposed to do?" "We had to cancel that show." "And then of course my phone's ringing off the hook and the emails are coming non-stop." "I don't know what to tell you." "I mean, I tried and tried to get any kind of confidence in you guys and at some point I had to give up because all I had was lies." "NOFX is actually my family." "Do you think I'm going to take my family to this country I know nothing about when I'm absolutely certain the people that are supposed to care for us there are fucking useless?" "They were totally freaking out and scared." "Suddenly this one guy Cheo says, "I need to know what's going on!" "Sergio from Colombia is receiving a lot of calls for death threats." "The promoter from Medellin probably is dead." "I mean it." "Colombia is not easy." "If you do something wrong, you'll be murdered."" "The promoters that would never call me?" "He's crying that he fears for his mother and his sister and their lives." "And he's in Medellin, Colombia so it's like, it gets me a little bit, uh, bad feeling in my stomach." "It doesn't make you feel good." "My bottom line is, "You fear for your family?" "This band is my family." "I'm gonna bring them to a place that I know to be dangerous where I have absolutely no faith in the people that are taking care of us?"" "Yeah, like, what are we supposed to do?" "We're completely in the dark of the whole situation." "We knew things in South America were going to be sketchy and they are sketchy and they're going badly." "We're just hoping that we're finally gonna get to a country where everything goes smoothly." "But Chile was crazy right when we got there." "Stay away from the glass." "Whoah!" "That was a party." "Even before the show the crowd was crazy, jumping off the balconies." "Kids were just coming over the balcony crowding the floor area even more." "Valium is a chill pill." "I'm gonna take one." "I'm feeling antsy." "Could be seeing all the kids pouring over the balcony." "It just seemed pretty dangerous." "Then we start playing and it's the same way." "Just kids crazy." "Jumping off the balconies." "It turns out there's about three thousand people and they all want to be on the floor." "Sure enough, they just start..." "Doink, doink, doink." "Doink, doink." "They were just constantly jumping." "We're like, "Wow." And then everyone's running on stage." "NOFX!" "I was a little worried for my own safety a little bit." "They didn't even know what they wanted to do once they got on stage." "Not the normal "get on stage and then stage dive." They were just grabbing us." "I'm playing a song and some guy jumps off the balcony." "Ka-boom!" "And he just runs up on the stage, grabs me in a headlock, and he's choking me out pretty good." "I hear him !" "ike, "Yeahh!" "Fucking E!" "Hefe, man!" And I'm !" "ike, "Ehhhhh..." "Ahhh... somebody help!"" "Yeah they were just crazy." "They were not stopping." "They were getting on the floor." "They were doing whatever they wanted to do." "The show exploded." "The kids were just so pent up." "It just exploded with energy." "It was a really crazy show but we came on this tour to play crazy chaotic shows and we found it when we got to Chile." "The Chile show was insane." "This show is exactly the kind of punk show we were hoping to get by touring down here." "And now I want more."