"Mom, don't call me Finbar, all right?" "Finbar, I'm telling you" "Because you're the only one who'll understand." "You'll have to tell your brothers." "Understand what?" "I'm leaving." "What do you mean?" "Your father's dead and buried." "I gave him the best years of my life." "I have to live the rest of my life." "What the hell are you talking about?" "Watch your mouth!" "I'm going back to Ireland." "For, for Mr. O'Shaughnessy?" "I love him, Finbar." "I've loved him my whole life." "Does, does he even know you're coming?" "Of course he knows." "He's been waiting 35 years for this day." "Give your mom a kiss." "I have a plane to catch." "Are you sure you'll be all right?" "I'll be fine, darling." "Tell your brothers I'll explain everything" "When I call next week." "Promise me you won't make" "The same mistake I made." "I promise." "Good boy." "Good luck, mom." "So, Barry, let me ask you." "What's up with you and Heather?" "You got this new one here now," "And you guys are done?" "Well, you know, I mean..." "Just like any long relationship," "Long relationship?" "You were with her for six months." "Yeah, well, that's a long time, you know." "I mean..." "You know, the mystery was over, man." "I don't know why that happens." "It's God's way of testing you, Barry." "You're failing." "Yeah." "He loves to torture us." "So you believe in God now?" "This is your story." "Oh, yeah, yeah, on his good days." "Then you're not a catholic anymore." "No, I'm still a catholic, I guess." "Kind of." "Catholic?" "Who the hell are you kidding?" "You Haven't been in church" "Since 10th grade." "Yeah, but who can deal" "With all that repression, anyhow?" "Hey, repression is not such a bad thing, OK?" "Especially for a savage like you." "So..." "When did all this happen?" "I mean, what did she do," "As I'm positive it's her fault completely." "She started talking about getting married." "Marriage?" "Jesus." "And what did you say?" "I asked her who she was planning on marrying" "And if she'd be kind enough" "To invite me to the wedding." "You said that to her?" "Good for her." "I'm glad she threw you out." "So..." "Where are you going to live now," "Mr. Hotshot noncommittal?" "I, uh..." "I don't know, man." "Don't even think about it." "Like I might ever live with this joker." "No, I'm going to look for a place" "In the village tomorrow, I think." "The village, huh?" "That's about your speed." "Yeah." "O.K." "We better get in." "Molly's probably got it ready for us." "I don't care" "What anybody says." "It doesn't make a difference" "If he did or he didn't." "All I can say is, thank you" "For giving us John, Jr." "Ha ha ha!" "I saw him jogging" "Through the park yesterday." "Now, there is a real man." "Sounds like" "She really loves you, pal." "Oh, yeah, totally." "I think Molly's right." "Thank you, Patrick." "Wait." "What are you saying?" "You don't like JFK now," "The only Irish-catholic president" "Of our great country?" "Listen, I don't, I don't care." "I don't care who he is." "I don't care what he's done." "I don't like a man who cheats" "On his wife." "Period." "That's all just bullshit rumors." "I mean, the man was a great man." "Well, even if he did," "That doesn't make him a bad man." "The man was the President of the United States." "He's under a lot of pressure." "I think he's entitled." "Besides, he's screwing around with Marilyn Monroe." "I think it's a sign of a great individual" "Who can seize an opportunity like that." "You are demented, Barry." "Ah, this is thinking." "This is a thought process." "Thank you for dinner, Molly." "It was delicious." "that corned beef and cabbage" "Was a very close second to our mother's." "I hate to tell you this, but, uh..." "Jack made the dinner." "Jackie..." "An all-star in the kitchen, too." "Barry, get this." "This just goes to show" "How little my brothers actually know about me." "I mean, they probably see me like my dad," "Speaking of our favorite wife-beating," "Child-abusing alcoholic," "I, uh, went down to the grave this morning." "And?" "And..." "I'm happy to report that he's still dead." "This is funny stuff, Barry." "Take it on the road, pal." "Anyway, see, these guys see me" "As this old-fashioned, conservative," "By-the-book kind of Guy" "When, in actuality, I'm a progressively modern," "Politically correct housewife." "you sound more like" "Half a fag, Edith." "I could see you wearing an apron," "You know, with the skirt" "And those heavy clogs you like to wear," "Maybe a speedo thrown in for added effect." "What do you think?" "I think I'm going to throw you two a beating." "Listen, you guys." "It's true." "He does." "He cooks." "He cleans." "He does the laundry." "Leaves me all kinds of time" "For all those things I always wanted to do..." "Like change the oil in the car" "And fix the sink" "And mow the lawn." "I'd like to propose a toast." "To Molly," "My lawn-mowing, oil-changing," "Sink-fixing, beautiful," "Sweet, smart, sexy, sassy," "One-in-a-million Irish lass" "On her 30th birthday." "That means stand up, people." "Come on." "Get up." "I love you," "And although I missed your first 25 years," "Here's hoping you'll keep me around for another 30." "Happy birthday." "Happy birthday, Molly." "Happy birthday, Molly." "what are you doing?" "Nothing." "Let me ask you something, Barry." "What do I do now?" "Hmm?" "What are you, retarded?" "You wipe it off," "And then you put it in the dishwasher," "O.K., genius?" "No." "No, not the, I mean with my life." "You know, I didn't think" "College would actually end." "I'm not ready to go out" "And be a real guy," "Get a real job." "I'm not ready to move out of my dorm." "Do you know I didn't even think about that?" "Where the hell am I going to live?" "What the hell are you worried about?" "Susan told me her father's already got" "A job lined up for you." "I know." "I don't know if I should take it." "Susan's starting to scare me" "A little bit, too." "Yeah, well, Susan does have that effect on people." "The other night, Barry..." "You know, we're in my dorm room doing it..." "Don't move." "What?" "I think I broke it." "Oh, God." "Oh, whew." "Oh, thank God." "That was close." "They make these things so tight." "They ought to make them bigger" "For guys like," "Shut up." "Yeah, you know that, baby." "I don't even know why you bother." "I'm on the pill." "Hey, you can't be too careful." "And remember, I'm catholic." "I shouldn't even be doing this." "You know..." "We wouldn't even have to worry about it" "If we got married." "She said that?" "Married?" "What is she, crazy?" "Yeah, yeah, I think so." "So what do I do about this now?" "You got to break up with her." "You got to dump her." "Before you know it," "She'll have you picking out wedding cakes." "You'll be asking me to be your best man" "And moving into her parents' guest room" "Or worse, moving up" "Into our old room in the attic." "So you think I should break up with her?" "Yeah." "You got to." "Thanks for driving me into the city, Jack." "You really didn't have to do that." "hey, no problem." "Barry and half a bottle of whiskey's" "Not my idea of safe driving." "So..." "Other than cook corned beef and cabbage" "On his wife's birthday..." "What does a high-school basketball coach" "Do with his spare time?" "Oh, things like play golf," "Fish, drink a lot of beers." "But I'm actually taking" "A sports management course at NYU Right now." "Oh." "Very exciting." "And, uh, Molly, what does she do?" "She teaches English at the high school." "She's a teacher, too." "Really exciting." "Ha ha ha!" "What, did you two meet" "At a PTA Meeting or something?" "No, it was actually during cafeteria duty." "On the hot-lunch line, I hope." "Yeah, something like that." "I'll bet you were a big jock stud in high school," "Running around in the backseat" "Of your father's Buick" "Breaking all the little girls' hearts." "No." "I've always been pretty much" "A one-woman kind of guy." "Huh." "Ha ha ha!" "That's what my ex-husband said" "When I met him." "And he wasn't." "No, he was." "I just wasn't a one-man kind of girl." "I don't buy that." "You just Haven't found the right man yet." "I've found plenty of them." "My problem is that they all want to marry me." "You know, if I were smart..." "I'd find myself a nice married man." "What good would that do you?" "There would be no question as to what" "Either one of us wanted from the relationship," "Now, would there?" "Yeah." "It's getting late." "Ha ha ha!" "Yeah." "Do you feel like coming up" "For coffee or something?" "Oh, no, thanks." "I should be getting back to the island," "You know, traffic and stuff." "All right." "Some other time, then." "Yeah, some other time." "O.K., some other time." "O.K." "Thanks for the ride, Jack." "Have a good night." "Bye." "Excuse me." "You're not Mrs. Mckey, are you?" "No." "She just left." "What do you mean, she just left?" "She was here a minute ago." "Now she's not." "Well, do you know where she went?" "She was supposed to show me an apartment." "Oh, you're the one." "I'm the one what?" "She wanted to leave before you got here." "What did I do?" "She said you sounded crazy." "She didn't want to face you." "Me, crazy?" "She's the crazy one." "Who does business like this?" "Do you know where she went?" "Maybe she'll show it to me after she meets me." "She rented it." "That's why she felt bad." "I just spoke to her 10 minutes ago." "Who could she have rented it to?" "Me." "You?" "So you stole my apartment?" "That's not a nice way to put it." "I'm not feeling nice." "I've been looking at apartments all day." "This one was finally in my ballpark." "C'est la vie." "Let me look at it." "We could bid on it." "That's fair." "Whoever told you life is fair?" "Good-bye!" "You know, hold up a second." "I'm really sorry." "Um, my name is Barry." "Hello, Barry." "I was thinking..." "Why don't we go out for coffee?" "We could work something out." "Thank you, Barry." "I'm a married woman." "You're married?" "I don't think my husband would appreciate me" "Going out for drinks with a strange man." "Good-bye." "Oh, man." "I'm a complete loser." "You'll love this place, Patrick." "It's only a one-bedroom," "But daddy says it's big enough." "He paid for the first six months' rent." "I got it through his friend." "It will be great until we're married." "We can move to that two-bedroom" "On the fourth floor." "I can't do it." "Can't do what?" "I can't move into this apartment with you." "Why not?" "It's perfect." "I'm sure it is," "But ethically, morally, I can't do it." "I can't live with a woman I'm not married to." "We would need to get married" "In order for me to feel comfortable." "We're going to get married eventually," "So what's the difference?" "The difference is, we're not married now." "Therefore, I'd be living in sin." "We're not living in sin!" "We love each other." "What is that?" "What does that mean?" "Listen," "There's no amendment to the rule," "I can't do it." "That's the bottom line." "I know what you're doing here, you know." "You're just afraid of making a commitment." "You don't want to live with me." "You're using this as an excuse." "You're not willing to make a commitment." "No." "No, Susan, it's not that." "I swear." "Then what is it?" "It's I'm a catholic, that's what it is," "And there's certain rules and regulations" "You got to live by." "I'm living by them!" "Hey, for the same reason" "You won't eat a bacon cheeseburger, huh?" "This is part of my baggage." "Well, then, I really think" "You should consider converting" "Because daddy is going to be very upset." "She's right, isn't she?" "But am I using this living-in-sin thing" "Because I really don't want to live with her," "Or do I really believe I should wait" "Until I'm married?" "But if I obeyed every rule" "That said I should wait till I get married," "I'd still be a virgin." "Is that any way to go through life?" "Well, I can't speak" "For sally-boy over here," "But for me..." "A few weeks, a month," "A month, tops." "I don't know." "Definitely longer than a few weeks." "A month..." "Thanksgiving." "Yeah, Thanksgiving is definitely" "The latest I'll be here." "Thanksgiving?" "Well..." "Maybe not Thanksgiving." "How about Christmas?" "Yeah, Christmas will be the latest I'm here." "New year's." "Definitely no longer than New Year's." "Jack, I promise you I won't be here" "A day after the new year," "Not a minute." "Not a second after the clock strikes 12:00." "You can stay." "Take your old room in the attic." "It still has" "All your old furniture and shit in it." "I know I'll end up" "Killing one of those guys." "Ha ha ha!" "Oh, you know what?" "I forgot to tell you." "Ann called to thank you for the dinner" "And for driving her home." "She seemed like such a nice lady," "Don't you think?" "I suppose." "Shame Barry doesn't like her." "Hey, Barry doesn't like himself." "Are you sure you'll be OK With all this?" "Jack, they're your brothers." "You don't say no to family." "Ha ha!" "I would do anything for them." "Of course, if Patrick decides" "To start wearing my underwear..." "Which he might." "Which he might." "Ha ha!" "Besides, I think, uh..." "I think we ought to get used" "To sharing this house with some other people." "I've already had plenty of practice" "In that department, thank you very much." "Well, you know, I'm not getting any younger," "And you said that we'd be having kids" "Before I turned 30," "And in case you forgot," "I turned 30 last week." "The only kids running around here" "Are in their 20s." "Come on, Molly." "Kids are a big step." "I know that," "But I'm ready to make that step." "I don't care if we have to make sacrifices." "Look." "Kids need money" "For food and clothing, medication." "That means no going to Ireland" "To see your grandmother," "No more trips to Aruba, no more restaurants." "We won't be able to afford it." "Well, good," "Because I can't stand my grandmother," "I hate Aruba, and I'd rather cook." "I want a family, Jack." "I want a house that's teeming with little kids" "Running up and down the stairs." "I want to cheer for them at baseball games" "And hold them when they scrape their knees." "You said that's what you wanted, too." "I do." "I do." "I still want those things." "I just don't want to rush into it." "I just..." "I just need to know that we're ready." "I'm ready, Jack." "You let me know when you are, too." "Excuse me." "Do you know where 121 Jane street is?" "Yeah, 121, I think, is down this way." "Hey, do I know you from somewhere?" "Are you sure?" "I've got an audition I'm already late for." "Yeah, I'm pretty sure." "I know I know you from somewhere." "Do you mind walking me?" "I just can't make sense of these streets." "Well, that's 121 right over there." "Oh, great." "Hey, thanks again." "I hope I didn't put you out of your way." "No, not at all." "I know where I know you from!" "You're the creep who wanted" "To rent my apartment." "That's you?" "You look so different." "You kept bugging me to go out with you." "I just asked you to go for coffee." "I told you I was married." "You're not?" "No." "I said that to get rid of you." "Why would you want to do that?" "First of all," "You accused me of stealing your apartment." "Second, I never go out with strange men." "I'm not exactly a stranger anymore." "I did help you find this place." "And third, I'm engaged." "Engaged?" "To be married..." "To Henry," "A very nice young man." "How do I look?" "Absolutely beautiful." "Thanks." "I'm telling you, Jack." "She was beautiful." "And she didn't fall" "For your phony Irish charm?" "She didn't give me the time of day." "I was thinking she'd feel bad for me," "Maybe invite me to move in with her." "Why should she feel bad for you?" "Because she stole the apartment from under me." "Instead of living in the village," "I'm on long island with you and Amy fisher" "And the rest of the gang." "You say that now," "But you'll change your tune" "After you have kids." "Everybody does." "I'm never having kids." "That's not a problem." "And you're never getting married?" "No." "I'll never have enough interest" "In any one woman" "That I'd give up the joys of bachelorhood." "I mean, the grass is always greener." "Yeah, or thinner or taller," "Bigger tits." "Yeah, hopefully all those things..." "Which is why, you know," "Why I can't get over you." "I mean, Molly's great and everything," "But you guys have been together, what, five years?" "How do you keep it interesting?" "Love." "You ever, uh..." "You ever cheat on her?" "No." "You never even, like..." "You know, just, like, thought about it?" "No, not really." "You're a better man than me." "Well, that's not a stretch." "Hello." "Hello?" "Hmm." "Hello?" "Yeah." "May I have the number" "For the school of continuing education" "At NYU?" "Ann." "Jack." "How are you?" "Hi." "What are you doing in the city?" "I just got out of class," "Those sports management courses" "I was telling you about?" "What are you doing?" "Running from meeting to meeting." "Do you have time for that cup of coffee?" "Oh, I'd love to." "Ooh!" "But I'm actually running late." "Maybe some other time?" "Yeah." "Sure." "Some other time would be great." "O.K., some other time, then." "Nice to see you." "Good to see you, too." "You know what?" "How about a walk in the park instead?" "O.K." "Fantastic." "You ever cheated on Molly?" "No." "Never even thought about it?" "No, not really." "None of those high-school girls" "Ever tempted you?" "If I had a teacher that looked like you," "I would have done everything in my power" "To get you to keep me after school." "You're nuts, you know that?" "Besides, I coach the boys' basketball team." "Then I'd become a cheerleader." "You said you never even thought" "About cheating on Molly." "Does that mean" "You're thinking about it now?" "No." "You should." "I don't think I could ever" "Do that to Molly." "You wouldn't be doing it to Molly." "I keep thinking" "About that night in the car," "What would have happened if I'd just..." "Grabbed you and..." "Kissed you." "Because I know you wanted me, too." "Come on, Jack." "Kiss me." "Ann, I can't do this." "I could never do that to Molly." "I love her." "I don't want love." "I want you." "Listen, I got to go." "Do you love her?" "Yes, I love her." "That's because we've been together" "For so long." "I have nice memories of those times." "But, no, I am not in love with her." "Pat..." "Are you ready to spend" "The rest of your life" "Having sex with this one woman?" "She'll be the last woman" "That you get to see completely naked" "And be allowed to touch." "That's something to think about." "I don't know." "I thought I'd know" "When it was time to get married." "I'd envisioned meeting somebody" "Somewhere, and..." "I thought it was Susan," "But..." "Then it fades, you know?" "It turns out to be just my imagination." "What I'm talking about is real." "I mean two people" "Mapping out an eternity" "In a moment." "And we'd sit" "And have intimate conversation" "In some dimly lit room, and..." "We'd feel there was" "Nowhere else in the world" "We'd want to be." "Jesus Christ, Patrick." "I mean, that is very romantic," "But there is no fucking Chance in hell" "That's going to happen," "Especially to the likes of you." "You don't believe in true love?" "You don't believe" "God has someone just for you" "And he allows a lucky few" "To find one another?" "How did a fruitcake like you" "End up as my brother?" "No, I do not believe in true love," "But if there is such a thing" "As true love," "I'm sure God has nothing to do with it." "You're just afraid." "You're just afraid" "To fall in love, Barry." "Always been afraid of the emotions." "Listen, lover boy, we're not on Oprah," "Talking about me and my emotions." "We're talking about you and Susan." "So, what do I do?" "If I move in with her," "I'm basically saying yes." "Yes, I'll eventually marry her." "Or do I wait till I find my true love?" "I could give two shits" "About you and your true love," "But as far as Susan goes..." "She's got to get the ax." "Yeah." "Yeah." "I was thinking that, too." "But I'm afraid, Barry." "I mean, she is so in love with me." "I'm afraid she'll do something crazy" "Like kill herself." "Don't flatter yourself, Patrick," "All right?" "Nobody is killing themselves" "Over you." "So how do I do it?" "You came to the right man." "It's really quite simple," "But the key" "Is finding the right place." "I mean, I like to meet them at work." "There's a lot of people around." "They won't make a big scene." "Then you don't have to worry" "About driving them home" "After you just broke their heart." "Yeah." "Yeah." "That's good thinking." "What do you mean?" "When did this come about?" "Look, it's just something" "I've been thinking about" "For a long time." "The fact that you" "Wouldn't live with me" "And the fact that you're not Jewish" "Made it a whole lot easier." "But why?" "Patrick, our relationship" "Has run its course." "I think we're better off" "Going out and finding new people," "New experiences, ideas." "Hey, hey," "I don't need any new ideas." "I'm confused enough already." "But what about us?" "We were going to get married." "Come on, Patrick." "That was just talk, right?" "We were just kids." "Besides, would you ever be willing" "To become Jewish?" "Huh?" "Become a Jew?" "Yes." "Convert?" "Why should I convert?" "I'm a practicing catholic, for God's sakes." "I go to church once a week." "You go to temple once a year." "My religion plays a bigger part in my life" "Than yours does in yours." "If anyone should convert, it should be you." "Your religion is crazy." "I don't even know" "Why I'm talking to you about this." "Look, it's over, Patrick, OK?" "I'm sorry." "What does that mean," "Experiencing different people?" "She's going to have sex with other people." "That's what that means." "This is fine." "This is absolutely fine." "This just sucks." "That worked brilliantly, Barry." "Get them in the office," "You know," "Not going to make a scene," "Lots of people around." "She's completely levelheaded" "About the whole thing." "I'm on my feet defending my religion..." "Lamely." "Unbelievable." "I should have to do this?" "If she were a catholic girl," "Believe me you..." "O.K. I lived up" "To my end of the bargain," "No business during lunch." "Lunch is now officially over," "So please tell me" "You're working on something new." "I'm just..." "I'm not feeling inspired." "In fact, I'm not feeling much of anything." "What's wrong this time?" "I don't know." "I can't get into anything I'm writing." "I feel like I'm just going through the motions." "Listen, you'd better find" "Some inspiration soon." "For one thing, you need the money," "And it's embarrassing." "I've got to tell" "The people in my business" "That my best young writer" "Lives on long island." "Writers live in Manhattan, Barry." "Joey Buttafuocos live on long island." "You know what I'm saying?" "I got the idea." "You need to find another girlfriend" "With a posh Manhattan apartment" "And set yourself up again." "What happened with Ann?" "Ann's perfect," "And you go and blow a relationship." "What's with that?" "She was nothing but a pain in the ass." "That pain in the ass told me" "That Barry takes her out twice" "And Barry passes out on her twice." "You drink too much, man." "This little Hemingway thing" "You have going is getting stale." "You know what, Marty?" "Blow me." "O.K., OK Forget Ann." "Ann's old news." "Listen..." "I got a new girl" "I want to set you up with." "She's perfect." "No." "I swear to you" "I had nothing to do with it." "It just must have been fate." "I think it had more to do with Marty" "Than fate." "Well, maybe." "So anyway, you and your fiance," "You guys enjoying life" "In my apartment?" "No." "He doesn't live in new York." "Really?" "Let me ask you another semi-personal question." "You can ask it," "But I can't guarantee" "You're going to get an answer." "All right." "That's fair." "Why would you agree to go" "On a blind date with me" "If you're already engaged" "To this Henry, the horse farmer?" "I'm not happy in that relationship." "I don't want to sell myself short." "Besides, Marty said you were" "A relatively nice guy." "Here we are." "I still cannot forgive you" "For forcing me into exile" "Out on long island." "Come on." "It can't be that bad." "It is that bad." "You're not 25 and living" "With your two brothers at home." "Barry, I had a really good time today." "I figured I'd hate you." "Oh, thanks." "That's nice." "I knew that I'd like you." "From the first time that we met" "Here on the stoop" "When you stole this apartment from me," "I knew that I'd like you." "Barry, I got to go." "Yeah." "No." "No." "That's OK" "You want to get together" "Some other time?" "Maybe we could go, you know," "Catch an Audrey Hepburn film at theatre 80" "Or something?" "I..." "I can't, Barry." "It wouldn't be fair to Henry." "All right." "Um..." "Well, then, some other time, then." "O.K." "O.K. I'll see you around, then." "Bye." "Bye." "Barry?" "I really liked you." "I just can't." "I'm sorry." "No." "That's all right." "I mean..." "You know, you're engaged." "For all practical purposes," "I'm a married woman." "Yeah." "I'll see you around." "O.K." "Bye." "Hey!" "Patrick?" "Leslie?" "Hey!" "Oh, God." "I thought that was you." "Yeah." "What are you doing?" "Well, just coming back from the deli, actually." "I got a sandwich." "What about you?" "What are you up to?" "Oh, I'm just working on my dad's car." "Oh, good." "O.K." "See you around." "Yeah." "O.K. Bye." "Ooh, Patrick!" "Um, do you want a beer" "With that sandwich or something?" "O.K. Sure!" "So, Patrick, you of all people," "God!" "What the hell are you doing back here?" "I had to move back in with Jack." "Me and Barry" "Are sharing a crawl space" "Up in the attic." "But I heard that your, um..." "That your girlfriend's father" "Was getting you a place in the city." "Yeah." "I thought so, too," "But it doesn't look" "Like that's going to work out." "You, uh..." "You got scared," "Didn't you?" "No, I didn't." "Ha ha ha!" "I mean, I was, but..." "You know, I wasn't." "Uh-huh." "Her father was also getting me this job." "It just seemed like all of a sudden" "I had to be this..." "This real Guy" "With a real life." "I just was not ready for that." "So, yeah, I got scared," "And I just wanted out" "Of the whole situation." "So..." "What did you do?" "Well, I didn't have to do" "Anything, actually." "She broke up with me." "Now she's got me thinking" "That maybe I do want all those things" "I thought I was afraid of." "You know what?" "It sounds to me like you just want them" "Because you can't have them." "So, uh..." "Why did she break up with you?" "See, that's weird, too." "She's weird." "She wouldn't tell me." "Isn't that stupid?" "So do you, uh..." "Do you still love her?" "Uh, not like I think I should," "I mean, considering" "We were going to get married." "What about you?" "I heard you were getting married to sully." "No, no." "I couldn't go through with it." "What happened?" "I..." "I saw the light." "Um, it was the morning of my wedding." "I was up in the bathroom," "Brushing my teeth," "And that's when it hit me." "I suddenly thought," "Mom!" "Just take it easy." "This is it, one time," "And then you're done with it." "Ahem." "It's not a twist-off, Jack." "I see." "Don't be so nervous." "This will only hurt a little bit, OK?" "Come here." "That was nice, wasn't it?" "Mmm, I'll say." "Though I have to admit," "I was a little quick the first time." "But I've been ready to burst" "Since that day in the park." "You wanted me that night in the car, too," "Didn't you?" "Mm-hmm." "Mm-hmm." "You could have had me right then and there." "What made you decide to change your mind?" "I don't know, something you said" "About never having sex" "With another person" "For the rest of my life." "Hmm." "You'll find it's harder to say no" "The next time." "Yeah, but there's not going to be" "A next time." "Why'd she do it?" "Patrick, I'll tell you" "For the last time." "She doesn't really" "Want to break up with you." "She's using this to get back at you." "She wants you" "To come crawling back to her." "So how do I get her back?" "Why do you even care?" "I thought this is what you wanted." "She saved you the trouble" "Of doing the dirty work yourself." "You should be happy." "But I miss her." "No, you don't." "Yes, I do." "You just think you do." "You're suffering" "No." "I think it's a case" "Oh, tell me." "What was so great about Susan" "That you now regret not having it?" "Her father was going to get me" "An apartment and a great new job." "Those..." "Those are definite pluses," "But listen to the advice" "Of your bigger, wiser," "And more experienced brother." "I have a theory." "Man is like a banana," "Strong and firm, bright and phallic," "And he's protected" "By his all-important shield." "But when a woman comes along," "She sees this bright, phallic beast," "And she wants it." "But she's not happy with the way it is." "She wants to see what's inside," "So she starts to peel away" "The all-important shield." "First, she wants to see your romantic side." "Then she wants to see your passionate side." "Then she wants to see your soft, caring," "Feminine side." "And she keeps peeling and peeling" "Until you're left there buck naked," "Totally exposed" "With your balls blowing in the wind." "That's when she gets her knife," "And she starts to cut away your manhood," "Piece by piece," "Until they're having your cock" "In their corn flakes." "Susan!" "Su," "Susan, would you," "Come on, Susan." "Would you hold up a second?" "I need to talk to you." "What do you want?" "You broke up with me" "Without an explanation." "I think I'm entitled to an explanation." "We were going to get married," "In case you forgot." "Tell me the truth." "Did you ever really want to get married?" "The truth?" "The truth is no," "But that's because," "That's before I realized" "How much I need you in my life." "You don't need me." "You just think you do." "What is the difference?" "This is where I am." "I just don't think it would be healthy" "For either one of us" "To stay together right now," "Especially considering the current situation." "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." "What current situation?" "Patrick, I really don't feel" "Like talking to you right now." "Will you just leave me alone?" "I can't believe you liked that movie." "It was fun." "It was crap." "You'll have to read my new script." "Why?" "What's it about?" "It's about this Guy" "And his quest for true love." "But does he find it?" "Of course not." "You've never been in love, have you?" "Well..." "You Haven't, have you?" "Do you love anybody?" "Well, yeah." "I mean, you know, I love, uh," "I guess I love my brothers." "I love my mother." "In fact, I love my mother very much." "And does your mommy" "Live with you and your brothers, too?" "No." "My mommy actually" "Moved back to Ireland" "A couple years ago." "Ireland?" "Why?" "You'll love this story." "This is right up your alley." "It was about five years ago." "My dad finally died." "We were all very excited about that." "And right after his funeral," "My mom pulls me aside," "And she says to me..." "Promise me you won't make" "The same mistake I made." "Yeah." "Yeah." "I promise." "Yeah." "She took off that night." "Oh." "Why would she marry your dad" "If she didn't love him?" "Because she's catholic, I guess." "She fell in love with this guy," "Finbar O'Shaughnessy, whom I'm named after," "Although my dad didn't know that," "But she was already pregnant" "With my dad's baby," "Which is my brother Jack." "So like any good catholic girl would," "She got married." "They ended up moving to America," "And she had to wait 35 years" "Until the old man died" "So she could go back to Ireland" "And finally be reunited" "With her true love." "Wow." "That is a great love story." "With a mom like that," "You'd think you'd be a hopeless romantic" "Instead of a loveless pessimist." "I like being a pessimist." "It makes it easier" "To deal with my inevitable failure." "So where's your mom now?" "She and O'Shaughnessy live in Dublin." "He's a champion fiddle player," "So whenever they come to new York to perform," "The whole band comes out to the house," "And my mom cooks" "Her famous corned beef and cabbage." "Mmm!" "I love corned beef and cabbage." "Yeah." "Well, we'll see." "O.K., Finbar, just lean back and do it." "Come on, you coward." "Just do it." "Barry, I have a confession to make." "Well, what is it?" "Promise me you won't be mad." "How can I be mad" "If I don't know what you're confessing?" "I'm not engaged." "Henry's asked me a thousand times," "But I cannot bring myself to say yes." "Really?" "I mean, that's great." "I mean, it's too bad for Henry," "But he's not really high on my list of concerns." "Are you happy?" "Fucking-a, I'm happy." "That's great." "Would you mind, uh..." "If we kissed again?" "Think you can handle it?" "I think I can handle it." "Yeah, right." "There's no way you can handle this." "Hey, doll." "How are the papers coming?" "Hey, good." "You coming to bed soon?" "I miss you." "I feel like we never get to see each other anymore." "Yeah, I know, but I'm hitting the sack." "I'm kind of tired." "Think I'll finish grading these in the morning." "Why?" "You're better off" "Getting them done tonight." "Well, I was, uh..." "I was thinking you might be interested" "In doing a little something" "You Haven't done in a while." "I thought you got embarrassed by that." "Well..." "Maybe I'm feeling" "A little less inhibited tonight." "Oh, really?" "Yeah." "I'm sorry, honey." "I'm not in the mood." "I'm tired." "Wow!" "Ooh..." "I remember when you used to say," "The one night I'm not in the mood," "You're breaking my balls about it?" "How about the nights you weren't in the mood?" "I'm sorry, Jack." "I was just kidding." "I guess I thought" "It might be fun, that's all." "Look, I'm sorry I yelled at you, hon." "I've been feeling kind of weird these days." "I don't know." "Barry, if you like her that much," "Just call her up and ask her out again." "Yeah, but she's not Irish." "Well, then you got to forget about it." "I don't know if I can." "I mean..." "She is the most beautiful woman" "That I have ever been in contact with." "I mean, she is gorgeous." "She's proved that God is indeed a man." "You are in love." "Don't talk to me about love." "All I said was she's beautiful." "I said nothing about love." "No, no, no, no, no." "You're in love." "Trust me." "I know when someone is or isn't in love." "Hey, doll." "Hey, honey." "What, are you drinking all my frigging beers?" "I'm having one beer." "Give me a fucking break." "It's not even noon," "And you're drinking already." "When did you all of a sudden" "Become my mother?" "I can't drink beer anymore?" "You can tell me when I can and can't drink?" "I'm not your mother," "But when I come back from jogging," "I want some beers in the house, OK?" "You're going out for a run, Jack?" "I'm working off these love handles." "You could use it, lard ass." "Hey, you want some company?" "I'd love to go for a run." "No, that's all right." "I'm just hopping out" "For a quickie." "I'll be back." "Yeah, have a few more doughnuts" "While you're at it, fat boy." "Do you think, uh..." "Do you think" "Jack would ever have an affair?" "Jack?" "No way, no how." "I mean, he loves you." "You were the answer to that guy's dreams." "Besides, do you think" "There's somebody out there better than you?" "Nah, I don't know." "I don't know." "He just seems kind of distant lately." "Maybe I'm bugging him too much" "About having a baby." "A minute doesn't pass by" "Where I don't think about making love to you." "Easy there, coach." "There will be no lovemaking" "Going on here." "It's a figure of speech." "Next time, try another figure," "Like I would say," "All right." "How about..." "Very good." "Hey, who's in there?" "It's me." "Hey, I'm going to the bathroom!" "I'm coming in." "I've got to get something." "What..." "Oh, Jesus." "How about a mercy flush?" "What the hell do you expect it to smell like?" "Hey, I'm going to the bathroom here." "Do you mind?" "You ought to see a doctor." "Either that," "Or Molly should change butchers." "Very funny." "Patrick, Patrick," "I got to talk to you." "What is it?" "Let me ask you something." "You're Mr. Ten commandments, right?" "How bad a sin is adultery?" "You're cheating on Molly?" "No, I'm not cheating on Molly." "But, you know," "I am starting to get feelings" "For other women now, and, uh..." "I was just wondering," "If I did give in to temptation," "Then how bad a sin is that?" "It's horrible." "Jack, you can't do it." "First of all, it's a big-time sin." "Second of all, I love Molly." "You can't do something like that to her." "How could you ever want to cheat on Molly?" "She's the greatest." "Yeah, I know, I know," "But sometimes you need" "A change in your life." "I don't want to do anything," "But Molly and I have been together" "Almost five frigging years." "I'm stunned." "I can't believe this." "You're actually considering" "Sticking your penis into another woman." "Well, that's usually how it works." "Jack, you've got to fight it." "That's, it's just not fair to Molly." "Inasmuch as we don't believe in it," "I would say get a divorce" "Before you do something like that." "Who is she?" "It's nobody, really." "I'm..." "I'm just thinking." "Come on, Jack." "She's somebody." "No, she's nobody, OK?" "Don't say a word to Barry either," "All right?" "Of course not." "And listen, don't forget" "To wipe yourself, all right?" "How do you know whether the one you're with" "Is your true soul mate?" "And then, what if you let them go" "And never find anybody to replace them?" "Yeah, but I think" "You're better off being alone" "Than being with somebody" "That isn't your true soul mate." "Anyway, sometimes you've just got to take chances." "You know, uh..." "Speaking of chances," "Well, not taking them..." "You know, I," "I always sort of wanted" "To ask you out in high school." "But, you know, you were always" "With sully or something." "I never did." "Oh, yeah?" "Yeah." "Well, you should have." "So, um..." "So what are you going to do now?" "Well, after I canceled my wedding, I, um..." "I reevaluated my whole life, and..." "I became a vegetarian..." "A pro-choice activist..." "And I, uh..." "I abandoned Catholicism." "Really?" "But I remember a Summer" "You were going away to that convent!" "But you were going to be a nun!" "What is this?" "Why would you abandon Catholicism?" "Because I tried to figure out" "Why I said yes to James," "And that's when it hit me." "I mean, I thought" "I had to get married, you know?" "What's a single catholic girl" "Going to do if she doesn't get married?" "I can't have premarital sex," "But if I do, I can't use birth control," "But if I don't use birth control" "And I get pregnant, I can't have an abortion." "So what's a girl to do while she's waiting" "For prince charming to show up?" "I mean, Christ, I can't even masturbate!" "Tell me about that one." "If I masturbated as much as I wanted to," "I would live in a constant state of guilt..." "Ha ha ha!" "Not to mention hospitalization." "I know." "It's crazy." "You just," "You, you can't be catholic" "And have a healthy sex life." "You just..." "Unless you find your true love." "Well, yeah, OK, then..." "Then and only..." "Then." "I need to talk to you." "What do you want?" "I think I deserve an explanation." "You deserve an explanation?" "Yes!" "Well, this will knock your catholic socks off!" "The current situation is, I'm pregnant." "You're pregnant with my baby?" "I've only been with you, Patrick." "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" "How did this happen?" "We took every precaution." "I even wore two rubbers at once!" "I thought you were on the pill." "I thought you were on top of this!" "I was." "I still am." "The pill is only 99% effective." "We fell into that 1%." "Why would you" "Break up with me now?" "I would figure" "You would want to get married." "Hello!" "Patrick, I'm 21 years old." "I don't want a baby." "If we got married," "You'd want me to have the baby, right?" "Of course." "Why?" "What else would you do?" "I'm going to have an abortion." "An abortion?" "You can't have an abortion." "That's against everything" "I believe in!" "Last time I checked," "The baby was in my stomach," "So I'll make the decision." "That child is half mine." "Not anymore." "Listen, Patrick," "I, I've got to go." "I'm sorry." "I knew you wouldn't agree with my decision," "So that's why I did what I did." "I'm going to hell." "Jack..." "Do you believe in hell?" "Hey, I Haven't done anything yet, OK?" "I'm not talking about you anyway." "I think I'm going to hell." "Oh, Jesus Christ, altar boy." "Why are you going to hell this time?" "First of all," "I had sex with Susan out of wedlock." "So big deal." "Now I find out" "The reason she breaks up with me" "Is because..." "She's pregnant." "And now..." "Now she's having an abortion." "Oh, you're shitting me." "You got her pregnant?" "Yeah." "Well, you just be thankful" "She's getting an abortion." "Relax." "You're not going to hell." "She's having an abortion." "Can you believe that?" "Good." "Good for her." "Good for her." "Well, what about me?" "I am a catholic." "My life is over." "I'm going to hell." "You know what you should do?" "You should come to California with me." "Oh, solution of solutions." "When are you going to California?" "As soon as I can get enough money." "I've already got 2,000 saved," "And all I need is another two grand" "And I can buy" "This beautiful mint cherry 1970 Chevelle" "I've had my eye on." "As soon as I can get the money, I'm gone." "Drive cross-country." "Hey, that sounds great." "I could use some adventure like that." "If you can come up with $2,000," "We can leave tomorrow." "Sure you could stand" "To be alone with me all that time?" "It's a pretty long trip." "Well, I asked you, didn't I?" "Yeah." "What's this?" "I thought you said you didn't eat meat." "Only on Fridays." "What's wrong with you?" "You've been acting strange all day." "I just don't feel that this is right." "I mean, for Christ's sakes," "Don't you have any guilt at all?" "Don't get so high and mighty on yourself." "In case you Haven't noticed," "You've been calling me lately," "Not the other way around." "Look, I'm sorry." "This whole thing has just got my head" "Screwed up right now." "You're having an affair." "It's not a big fucking deal." "Well, it is to me." "I don't like what I'm doing," "And I don't want to hurt Molly." "I love her." "Get over yourself, Jack." "If you loved Molly so much," "You wouldn't be jumping into my bed" "Every Chance you get." "Great." "You know what?" "Do me a favor." "I don't want to be part of your confusion." "Don't bother coming up." "Call me when you get a grip." "Damn!" "What?" "You got a problem?" "You did it." "I did nothing, OK?" "Oh, Jack, I told you not to do it." "That is a big-time sin." "Not to mention what effect" "It's going to have on Molly," "Your marriage." "Yeah?" "Don't say a word to Molly or Barry." "You hear me?" "What the..." "Jack, I wouldn't think of it." "Jesus!" "It was that Ann" "That Barry used to see, wasn't it?" "Look, I fucked up, OK?" "I know I didn't do the right thing," "But I felt I had to do it anyway." "Look, I love Molly," "But who says you got to be 100% faithful to your wife anyway?" "Just isn't natural." "God said." "Well, fuck God!" "Why should I spend time and waste Faith" "In something I have no proof ever existed?" "Patrick, I'm a man." "I had an urge, and I acted on it," "And I don't see that as a big deal." "Well, that's a big deal" "For Molly, don't you think?" "You'll have to make a choice." "You can't go on this way." "First of all, Patrick," "This isn't your problem to worry about." "Second of all, I know what I got to do." "Hey, Jack?" "I really hope you do, man." "Where the hell is that train already?" "Hey, Finn!" "Come sit by me." "Hey, you want to see my new ring?" "I've seen the ring." "Tell me what it's called again." "It's called a claddagh ring." "The hands represent friendship," "And the crown on top represents loyalty." "Well, what about the heart?" "The heart represents, you know..." "A deeper sort of friendship." "You know, like a..." "Just like a deep friendship." "Friendship?" "Yeah." "Not love." "No." "I mean, you know, I, uh..." "I guess the heart could be looked at as love." "But enough about the goddamn ring." "Did you read the script yet or what?" "I just got it this afternoon." "You'll read it tonight, though?" "By the time I go to sleep tonight," "It will have been read." "Promise?" "Barry, I'll read the script." "Patrick, what happened?" "Let me guess," "You're not going" "To California anymore?" "Can someone lend me train fare?" "She wants you back?" "She wants me back." "What about the baby?" "She had a miscarriage." "Oh, my God!" "Jeez, talk about" "The luck of the Irish." "Jack!" "It's great, isn't it?" "Can I have 10 bucks?" "I'll miss my train." "Yeah, sure." "Thanks." "Ha ha!" "Hey!" "So, guess what." "Daddy said he's going to buy you" "That one-bedroom on the first floor," "So that way, we can at least" "Be in the same building," "And then, after we're married," "We can move into" "That beautiful two-bedroom" "On the fourth floor." "He's going to pay for me to live" "In the same building with you?" "Of course!" "He loves me, and I love you," "So he loves you." "He wants you to start" "In the sales department." "He feels it's the best way" "To learn the business." "Susan, I don't know" "If I can work for your father." "Why not?" "Hmm?" "Because he's done so much for me already." "No!" "Don't be silly." "It will be great." "We'll move in." "Everything Will be fine." "And you know what I was thinking..." "Oh, God, I thank you." "I thank you for letting her have that miscarriage." "But just look at these sweaters." "...People over, you know," "Like Mary and Stewart," "And, Patrick?" "Patrick, are you listening to me?" "Yeah." "What's wrong?" "Listen, Susan, I'm sorry..." "But I don't want to work" "In the garment district, OK?" "And I don't want to live" "In the same building with you." "Why not?" "Because I, because I want to move on with my life..." "And because I don't love you anymore." "You don't love me anymore?" "Get out of here." "Get out!" "Get out of here, Patrick!" "Leave!" "Patrick, leave." "Get out." "Fine." "Come on!" "Leslie!" "I need to talk to you." "Patrick!" "What's up?" "You were serious when you asked me" "To come to California with you, right?" "Yeah." "Well, how do you feel about me?" "W-what do you mean?" "Well..." "I mean," "How do you feel about me?" "Remember yesterday, when we talked" "About finding your true love" "And how great that must be?" "Yeah." "Well, I've got a good idea." "I don't mean that." "I mean that," "But what I mean is, I want to go" "To California with you." "I want you to come to California with me." "I know." "You said that." "But how do you feel about me?" "What do you mean?" "I mean, do you mean do I," "You don't have to say the words." "I just want to know" "If you have any idea," "Any feeling in that way," "Just something." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah?" "But you know I'm not catholic anymore." "Yeah." "Yeah, I know." "I thought about that..." "And I don't give a shit." "What are you doing out here" "All by your lonesome?" "Just thinking." "It's awful quiet" "Without those guys around here." "I was thinking" "Maybe we should take a vacation." "What do you think?" "I don't want to run away from here" "To work out our problems, Jack." "This is our home." "If you feel like you've got something" "You got to work out," "Let's just do it right here." "Problems?" "What are you talking about?" "What problems do we have, Jack?" "Are you that far removed" "From this relationship?" "Listen, I realize" "I've been a little distant lately, but," "Distant, Jack?" "We Haven't had sex in months!" "Why don't you scream it a little louder" "So the whole fucking neighborhood" "Can hear you?" "I'm going through" "A weird period in my life." "It seems like just yesterday" "I was a kid in high school." "Suddenly, I'm 33" "And thinking about starting a family." "You're 15 years too early" "To be having your midlife crisis." "I don't want to become" "Like my father," "A miserable fucking prick" "Who isn't there for you," "Isn't there for the kids." "The thing is I don't even know" "If I can be a good father." "That's bullshit, Jack," "And you know it." "Don't use kids as your excuse." "The way your father is" "Is the exact reason" "You would be a great father." "You know that I would never ask you" "For a divorce," "And I'm willing to wait for you" "To do whatever" "You feel like you've got to do." "But out of respect for me," "What we've had," "And what we could have," "If you've got to do something," "What the hell are you talking about?" "I'm not a fool, Jack." "Dad, I just stopped by today" "To say good-bye and let you know" "I won't be the kind of man" "That you were." "Happy saint Patrick's day." "Hey, pat." "Hey." "Can you talk?" "Yeah." "What's up?" "I got, I got a problem." "What is it?" "It's Audry." "Yeah." "Marty thinks something really big" "Is going to happen with the script." "He thinks they'll want me" "To come out to California." "He said some really big-name actresses" "Are interested in the lead." "O.K." "So..." "So where's the problem?" "What am I going to do about Audry?" "I promised her the part." "Do you love her?" "I might." "So now you finally" "Get a decent script on your hands," "And you're going to" "Throw your inspiration" "Right out the window." "Just when things" "Are starting to happen for me," "I got to go fall in love." "Is something bothering you?" "You've been very distant" "The last few days." "No." "I got a lot on my mind, that's all." "I spoke to Henry last night." "He wants me to come back to Virginia." "What are you going to do?" "I don't know." "What do you want me to do?" "I don't want you" "To go back to Virginia" "To marry Henry." "But you don't know" "If you want to continue this relationship." "I don't know what I want to do" "About anything right now, Audry." "You mean you don't know" "What you want to do about us." "Everything happened so quickly for us." "It took me by surprise," "I guess." "I thought we'd go out" "For a few drinks, have a few laughs," "And instead, we got..." "We got really serious." "And that scares you?" "Yeah, that fucking scares me." "So..." "What do we do now?" "I don't know." "What do you think we should do?" "I don't know." "I just want to be with you, Barry." "I don't know if that's possible" "Anymore, Audry." "I just need some time" "To figure some things out." "Maybe we should spend some time" "Away from one another," "Um, and see how that works out." "Well, I'll wait for you for a little while," "But I can't wait forever." "O.K. I'm going to go home now." "I'll see you around, then?" "It's palm Sunday." "I went to church." "Congratulations." "So, what did you give up for lent?" "I gave up resolutions this year." "Convenient." "You know, you made a mistake, Barry." "She doesn't want a husband, man." "She wants you." "It's the same thing" "As far as I'm concerned." "No, it's not the same thing." "You get one Chance in this life," "If you're lucky." "I'm sure there will be others, pat." "No, there won't." "Just think about mom." "Don't start with that shit again." "Barry, if you just took one second" "To look at yourself," "You might discover what you truly want." "Oh, yeah?" "And what's that?" "Why don't you fucking tell me" "What that is, huh?" "To ask her to marry you." "Oh, I didn't know you were home." "Yeah." "I'm trying to find" "Some Fitzgerald stories" "For class tomorrow." "Remember this?" "Yeah." "Think we've lost the romance" "From our marriage?" "No." "I just don't think" "You're interested anymore." "I think that sometimes..." "When we start to grow" "Accustomed to things," "We start to, uh..." "To not see them anymore" "Or to kind of look past them." "And we have a tendency to..." "Want something new because we feel" "That will fulfill whatever" "Seems to be missing in our lives." "But it doesn't." "I think we just need to look back" "At what we do have in our lives" "And try to remember what brought us there" "In the first place." "You know?" "So why did you do it, Jack?" "What didn't I do for you?" "What are you talking about?" "I know that" "You've been seeing someone else, OK?" "I found your rubbers." "What rubbers?" "I don't want to have to fight for you!" "Why can't you just be a man" "And admit it?" "What do you want me to say?" "When did you become" "Such a fucking coward?" "I want you to tell me the truth." "Did you do it?" "Why?" "Jack, why?" "I am so sorry." "I just want to be with you again." "I don't know, you know?" "I think it's going to take" "A long time." "I know." "I know." "Is it over?" "Yes, it's over." "Did you love her?" "No." "Jesus Christ!" "What's wrong?" "I don't know." "Are you OK?" "Yeah." "I think so." "Ha ha ha!" "I don't know." "Did you?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Why can't you?" "Well..." "Well..." "Yeah." "I can." "I'm just a little nervous." "Oh." "Why?" "What's wrong?" "Listen." "There's something" "I've got to tell you." "What is it?" "I got the money." "What money?" "The 2,000." "My brother wrote me a check." "For the c," "Oh, my God!" "You mean we're going?" "As soon as you want." "Aah!" "I love you!" "Hey, that's just" "The kind of Guy I am." "Ha ha ha!" "Did you go to Dublin for these?" "Yeah." "How's the jelly roll, huh?" "I can't believe this is it." "Told you I'd be out of your hair" "By Easter." "I can't believe you're going through with this." "I didn't think you had balls" "Big enough for a stunt like this." "Really." "It's got nothing to do with my balls." "Ha ha!" "You know?" "It's got everything to do with my heart." "When you find your true companion," "Stop." "Stop right there." "Jesus." "Yeah." "Yeah." "I think we've all" "Had enough true love talk" "To last us a fucking lifetime." "You decided what you're going to do" "With Audry?" "No." "No." "I don't know." "I don't know about you guys," "But these past few weeks" "Have really been special for me." "I mean, living under the same roof again," "It really felt like a home, you know?" "Like a family." "Yeah." "Despite the fact" "That there wasn't a psychotic drunk" "Screaming for beers" "And beating the shit out of us every day." "What was that shit he said" "When he had half a bag on?" "And the time I came home" "In my varsity jacket." "I remember he always said to me," "Fucking prick." "What a prick is right." "So, what time" "Are you and Leslie leaving?" "She wants to get on the road" "Bright and early, so she's figuring 5:00." "That's early." "You guys be up for a good-bye" "At that time?" "I don't think so." "You could bet your ass" "That I won't be up at 5:00 in the morning." "Well, I guess this is it, then." "Yeah." "Thanks, Jack." "Anytime, man." "I'll get you that cash back" "As soon as I can." "Whenever." "A handshake will do for me, fruitcake." "Not for me, Barry." "That's enough." "Hello." "No, Marty." "Barry's not here right now." "Yeah." "He should be here soon." "Everything's fine." "Listen, I got to go." "I can't talk right now." "Bye." "What's going on with all these bags?" "All your stuff's in the blue bag." "What do you mean?" "Are you going someplace?" "I'm moving out." "Where are you going?" "I'm going home to new jersey" "To take care of my dad for a while." "How come?" "Because you're a coward." "I just don't think this is the right time" "For me to get involved in a serious relationship." "And why is that?" "Because as a big-time director," "You can't be tied down?" "Don't want to miss all the action?" "Is that what you think?" "Can you give me another reason?" "Because I'm going to be busy." "I'm not going to have time for this," "For us." "You know what?" "You can have this back." "I don't want it." "Audry, you knew I wasn't interested" "In letting this become," "You know, too serious." "I don't care what we thought" "Was going to happen." "I fell in love with you." "You fell in love with me, didn't you?" "Come on." "Let's not get into this." "Just answer the question." "It won't kill you." "What do you want me to say?" "I mean..." "O.K., yeah." "I do love you." "Then why are you doing this?" "Because I don't want to be in love," "And I don't want a wife," "And I don't want a family either." "Whoever said anything" "About marriage and a family?" "I'm sorry, Audry." "It just..." "It just can't be." "Go ahead and answer it." "It's Marty." "You got what you wanted." "Hello." "Hey, wait." "Hold on a second." "Hey, Audry, wait a second." "I'm sorry it had to be like this." "I love you, Barry," "And I'll never love anyone" "The way I love you." "But I won't be like your mom" "And wait 35 years for you." "Hey, Audry, come on." "Hold up." "Hey, Marty." "Sorry about that." "No." "No." "It's nothing." "Yeah." "You know what?" "Listen, I can't talk about this." "I got to go." "Hey, Barry."