"TO ROME WITH LOVE" " ENGLISH SUBTITLES BY ASIFAKHEIR .75 00:00:11,750 -- 00:00:21,740 Dialogue translated in English." "Song lyrics remain in Italian." "Penso che un sogno così non ritorni mai più" "Mi dipingevo le mani e la faccia di blu" "Poi d'improvviso venivo dal vento rapito" "E incominciavo a volare nel cielo infinito" "Volare ho ho" "Cantare ho ho hoho" "Nel blu dipinto di blu" "Felice di stare lassù" "E volavo volavo felice Più in alto del sole ed ancora più sù" "Mentre il mondo plan piano Spariva lontano laggiù" "Una musica dolce suonava soltanto per me" "Volare ho ho" "Cantare ho ho hoho" "Come, come, come." "Damn, what a bang!" "Sorry." "I don't speak English very well." "I'm from Roma." "My job, as you can see, is to see that the traffic move." "I stand up here, and I see everything." "All people." "I see life." "In this city, all is a story." "See that young man over there?" "He's a Roman." "Michelangelo." "Oh, ah, Scusi." "Um, Fontana di Trevi?" " Ah!" "So, it's two blocks." " Uh-huh, two blocks" " and then across the piazza." " OK, and that's Piazza Mignanelli?" " No." " OK, no." "Piazza di Spagna is this..." "No?" " No." "This is Piazza Venezia, right?" " OK." "Look, I'll show you." "Um, this is Piazza..." "I don't..." "I don't know." "Ah, look, you know what?" "I'm going that way, I can show you." "Thank you." "Thank you so much." "You speak very good English." "That's because of my work." "I visit New York often." "Oh, that's where I'm from." " What do you do?" " I'm a lawyer." " And you're, let me guess, a tourist." " For the summer." " I'm Hayley." "Hi." " Hi." "Michelangelo." "It's been an unbelievable summer." "We read about in all those romantic novels, American goes to Rome, meets handsome Roman at Trevi Fountain." "No, he's utterly adorable." "Now, Antonio and Milly were also a young couple in Rome." "They married in the little town of Pordenone, and came to Rome for their honeymoon with plans to settle there." "And then there was that well-known American architect, concluding his vacation with a few days in Rome." "And finally, we meet Leopoldo Pisanello, an average Roman citizen of the middle class, dependable, agreeable, predictable." "Everything happened so fast." "I can't wait to bring you home and introduce you to my parents." "I can't wait to meet them." " It's delicious." " It's good, mom." "And what do you do, Hayley?" "I'm self-employed." "I help clients find art." "My background is in fine arts." "He's lawyer!" "I'm very proud." "All my children." "I work night and day so they get education." "We wanna meet your parents." "They come to Rome?" "Well, yes." "As a matter of fact, they're on their way." "Ladies and gentlemen, we're beginning our descent into Fiumicino airport in Rome." "We may experience some turbulence." "Please keep your seat belt fastened, and make sure all trays are in an upright position." "Great, turbulence!" "My favorite!" "No." "You just relax and stop clenching your fists." "I can't unclench when there's turbulence." "You know I'm an atheist." "I don't like this." "It's bumping." "The plane is bumping." " I don't like it moves like that." " I can't wait to meet her fiance." "You know he's a communist." "There's not even a communist party here anymore." "No, he's just very very left." "Hey, listen, I was very left when I was his age too." "But, but I was never a communist." "I couldn't share a bathroom." "Ok, he's not a communist, he's just a do-gooder." "What does it mean,"a do-gooder"?" "Well he's not into material possessions, you know." "What?" "Well, look, if she's gonna marry an Italian," "I want her to marry somebody with, you know, with material possessions, with a yacht, with a couple of Ferraris, with... with a villa in Sardinia, you know." "Don't you want our little Hayley to marry into Eurotrash?" "Wow, I don't like it." " I don't the plane does that!" " Just stop it!" "Stop it!" "Just relax." " I don't like it." "I get a bad feeling." " OK?" "Breathe." " Please." " Thank you." " You like it?" " A lot." " It's beautiful." " Yes, Yes." "Listen, it's late." "My uncles are coming." "Let's hurry." "Yes, but what if they don't like me?" "Darling, what are you worried about?" "You are so beautiful!" "Just be yourself." "No need to worry." "They're big shots." "Maybe a bit straight laced but don't let them put you off." "They're nice." "Next week I'll be working in their firm." "I don't want to say or do anything that could compromise... this wonderful opportunity they offer." " It'll go well." "They'll like you." " Think so?" " Of course!" "Listen, about our conversation on the train:" "True, I will probably miss Pordenone." "But it's a job you can't refuse." "Do you realize!" "If all goes well, we'll live in Rome." "We'll rub shoulders with the "beautiful people"." "We'll have children." "And who knows one day we may have a villa with servants, like my uncles." "Yes, but I need to go to the hairdresser." "I look like a "schoolmarm" with this hair." " I want to be a little more chic." " It 's late." "You have to go now?" " Only a moment." "I'll be quick." " I wouldn't make them wait." " Fine." "Hurry though, eh?" " Alright." " Ciao." " Hurry, eh." "I'm sorry, the hairdresser's booked up." " Is there another nearby?" " Sure." "You leave the hotel, go right, second left,... .. Pass under an arch, just to the right, there's a bridge." "After the bridge, the first left, keep going straight." " You'll find it on the right." " Thank you." "The food is better than Malibu, I'll say that." "I can't wait to do some sight seeing." "Oh, John can show us around." "He used to live here." "Oh, God, Carol." "It was thirty years ago." "So?" "It must've been great then." "That was fabulous." "I was young and in love, and a complete fool." "But it's the eternal city, it never changes." "And I too want to go to see the ruins." "It is Rome after all." "All those old ruins just depress me." "I'll get Ozymandias Melancholia." "Besides, I saw it all when I lived here." "So we'll leave you and then we'll hook up later." "OK?" "I'm just not a good sightseer." "I prefer just to walk through the streets." ""Ozymandias Melancholia", where did you get that phrase?" "["ARRIVEDERCI ROMA" INSTRUMENTAL]" "Excuse me, are you..." "are you John Foye?" "Yes." "How did you know that?" "Right." "I recognized your picture from the Herald Tribune." "You design all those shopping malls." " That's how you think of me?" " No, I'm an architect." " Well, studying to be, anyhow." " Really?" "Yeah." "You working on a project in Rome?" "Ah, no, on vacation." "I lived in Rome for a year when I was your age." " Really?" "Wh-Where?" " Here, Trastevere." "Yeah?" "I live here, I'm on Via dei Uffiti." "That's my old stomping ground." "I've been wandering around all day, I can't seem to find it." "Really?" "No, it's literally two blocks up to the left." " Well, I..." " What?" " D'you want me to show you?" " I don't know if I should revisit it." "But..." "OK, why not?" "This honey in Piazzale di Roma goes for half price." "2 euros 18!" "What the..!" "Hey, go on, finish brekfast." "Thanks." "You need to eat." "Where's Camilla?" "You seen this?" "Y'know why there's all this unemployment?" "Because people are pissed off by the latest technologies." " What movie's playing?" " It's too late!" "Eat!" "Always late!" "The way the world's going, the whole planet'll end up speaking Chinese." " Who asked your opinion!" " I'm just saying." "Look nobody gives a damn about what you or I think." " We just pay taxes." "Got it?" " We pay taxes, alright!" "Heads up!" "Look who it is." "Where was she when I was stuck in the elevator for two hours?" "To be young and single!" "Or, at least, one of the two." "See when she did that?" "Beautiful!" " You wouldn't get anywhere." " Why?" " She spends weekends with the boss." " Since when?" " Since always." " If you ask my opinion..." " Again?" "!" " Can I say something?" "!" "I think..." " It's an enigmatic movie, very interesting." " I didn't get it." "It's better than "The King's Speech."" " He stuttered - it was better." " So what?" " I couldn't understand." " It was intended by the author." " Why?" "!" " What "intended".. ?" "!" " The incomprehensibility of life..." " Let's go eat?" " D'you see that shot..?" " Yes." " If I voted for the Oscars, I'd have no doubts." " But you don't vote..." " Who is it?" "Maria!" " I want to see." " If I could vote..." "I can't make it out, It seems it's Brad Pitt." ""This week we'll interview Tony Blair,  the winner of Miss Universe, and Johnny Depp."" "Oh, my God, look at this city!" "You're tipping him in euros." "When you realize what you just gave him, you're gonna have a heart attack." "Well, you know, they gave us such a great room, Phyllis." "Yeah." "And I'm delighted to be here." " This is great." " See, you always used to travel for work." "Isn't it nice to be some place for pleasure?" "No." "I miss work." "I don't like being retired." "You know, I keep having fantasies that I'm gonna wind up an old person... in a hotel lobby, watching a communal television set, drooling with a colostomy bag or something." " You equate retirement with death." " Yes, exactly." "Exactly." "Yeah, but it's a fantasy, because you're not dying." "No, I'm not dying now!" "But, you know, it's conceivable I might one day." "You know, I'm talking fifty, sixty years from now." " Can I get a little water, or..?" " Sure." "You know, I haven't made my mark, I haven't really achieved what I wanted to do." "Oh, you did just fine." "Your problem was you just a little ahead of your time." "Hey, I'm way ahead of my time." "You know, you married a very bright guy." "I got..." "I got a 150, 160 IQ." "You're figuring it in euros, in dollars it's much less." "Hello!" "Oh, darling!" "Hi, Mom!" " Hi, Dad!" "How are you?" " Good, good." " This Michelangelo." " Hi." " This is my father, my mother." " Nice to meet you." " Did you have a good trip?" " Good trip?" "Yeah, we had a good trip." "I thought it was a little bumpy when we landed, but, you know..." "Probably read about it in the paper, if the airline ever recovers the black box." "So our plan is to get married around Christmas." "Oh, really?" "Ah, you..." "you're a lawyer, Michaelangelo?" ""Meekel"." "Meekel..." "Meekel?" "They call you Meekel?" "Yes." "Yes, for the oppressed, those who cannot pay." "Ah, pro bono." "So... she'll be taking in washing soon." " Would you like a drink or something?" " Sure." " Yeah." "Water?" " I'm..." " Would you like water or..?" " Yeah, water." " Water is fine." "Hayley told me that you work in the music business?" "I did." "I'm retired." "I used to work for a classical music division of a record company." "I was an opera director for many years." "You know, Michelangelo's great grandfather knew Verdi." "Really?" "Well, I..." "I staged some Verdi, I did." "Basically, I did avant-garde stuff, atonal things." "But I jazzed up a couple of classics." "You know, I did a production of Rigoletto,where all the characters were dressed as white mice." "I did..." "I did Tosca once, and all in a phone booth." "Jerry was ahead of his time." "Yeah, I was a little, you know, a little fast for mass appeal, but, ah... you know, then the productions got..." "between the critics, and costs, the unions..." "I'm sorry." "You don't like the unions?" "Well, you know, the unions..." "You know, without the unions, the worker would be ground into dust." "Yes, I understand where..." "what you're saying, Michaelangelo, but I..." ""Meekel", Michelangelo." " What?" " "Meekel"!" ""Meekel"?" "Yeah." "Like Michaelangelo, the painter!" "Only with him, for some reason, it's"Meekel"!" "Um..." "Michelangelo feels very deeply about the workers." " Excuse me." "Excuse me, can you tell me where is via della Penna?" "Ah, yes." "Ah, yes." "OK, take the first right." "Go about a hundred meters." "You'll see an ice cream parlor." "Then go straight for 50 meters and then you go left." " Thank you." " You're welcome." "At the next traffic light, cross the street..." "There's a seafood restaurant, you can't miss it." "Keep straight on, turn right, then another 100 meters and right again." " Do you follow?" " Yes, yes, thanks." "Thank you." " You,re welcome." "Here, this is where I live." "Christ, this might've been my exact street!" " Can I ask you in for a coffee?" " Coffee?" "Yeah." "Yeah, come on in." "Sally makes great espresso." " Sally?" " Yeah, my girlfriend." "She's a... she's studying here." " Hey, Sally!" " Hi!" "Hey, I brought someone home who used to live here." " Oh, my gosh!" " Yeah." "This is John Foye." " This is Sally." " Wow, hey." " Hello." "Sally." "That's so..." "Wow!" " I know." " You're right." "She's lovely." " She's the best." "Oh, can I give you something to drink?" "I can make some coffee." " That'll be great, honey, yeah." " Thank you very much." "Oh, my gosh!" "Uh... my friend, Monica, she called, she's going to be in Rome, and I told her she could stay with us." "Ah, well, so I'll finally get to meet her." "She just broke up with her boyfriend, so she's a bit at loose ends." "Trouble, "trouble in River City!"" "What trouble?" "Why?" "Why trouble?" "You just gonna love her." "She's smart and funny, and interesting." "Men just adore her." "I think it's because of the sexual vibe that she gives off." " Hm, and how long is she coming for?" " Oh, I don't know." "Between the breakup and then her acting career isn't going that well." "Jesus Christ, can't you see the situation is fraught with peril?" "Come on, gimme a break." "Her friend is coming." "What do I care?" "I'm not looking for anything." "I'm perfectly happy with Sally, and ah..." "Actually judging from Sally's description, Monica's kinda like a neurotic unpredictable type." "Beautiful, funny, smart, sexual, and also neurotic." "It's like filling an inside straight." ""Monica"!" ".." "Even her name is hot." " Congratulations." " Yes?" " I have your super gift." " What gift?" " A special gift for a special man." " What might this special gift be?" " It's me!" "It's already all paid for." "I'm all yours, all for you." " Look, there must be a mistake." " For whatever pleases you." " Oh, yeah?" "Please, go away." " I can't." "They'll be mad." " Who..?" "!" "They told me you're very stressed and that you'd be very surprised." " But the lucky winner is you." " Winner of what?" "!" " The winner of the bet." " What bet?" "Please..." "Domi and Fabio paid me and told me to congratulate you." "That they were wrong and that you must accept their apologies." "I don't know these two gentlemen." "Really, could you leave?" " I can't say a word." "I'm here to fulfill your dreams." "How can.. ?" "Please Miss, leave!" "Are you Mr. Debroca, room 504?" "I'm not Mr. Debroca but the room is right." " Please, go now..." " Anybody home?" " Sorry, sorry." " I told you to wait." "No, it's not what you think." "Have a seat, please." "We were to meet at noon, the door was open..." " You can't just barge in without knocking!" " Nice way to meet your wife!" " This is not my wife." " No?" "!" "I hope you're joking." "Of course I'm kidding." "She's my wife." "I am Uncle Paolo." "Giovanna." "Uncle Sal." "Aunt Rita." "Anna." " Anna?" "!" "Isn't your name Milly?" " Milly!" "Milly, of course, Milly." "Anna is her second name." " Milly?" " Milly!" "We'll wait downstairs, don't worry." "Come on." " Paolo!" " Yes." "Yes, yes." " See you later." "I want to die!" "My life is over!" "I am ruined!" "Look, tell them the truth." "That there was a mistake." "How can I?" "!" "They saw us in bed!" "Me in my underwear!" "Imagine!" "They'll think that..." "I'll never convince them otherwise, it's no use." "They'll think my wife was out, so I called an escort." "Why did you jump on me?" "I told you I was paid to make love with Mr. Debroca." " And you leave the door open?" "!" "Are you an idiot?" " I thought I'd closed it." "And they just waltzed right in!" "These high society folk think they can do anything!" "Milly's coming." "Listen." "We have to get out of here." "You have to pretend to be my wife." "Me, pretend to be your wife?" "I'm no actress." "Besides..." " you just called me an"idiot"." " Sorry, I'm sorry." "You've gotta help me because if Milly comes, I'll jump out the window and end it all." "Don't you get it, sooner or later they'll discover everything?" "I need time, I'll think of something." "The important thing is, we go immediately and get away." "Can you walk faster?" "I'm walking fine." "Relax." "Her flight should've landed." "Right, by the time she goes through customs and luggage it'll be about an hour." "I hope you don't fall in love with her." "In love with her?" "What the hell does that mean?" " Well, men always just go crazy for her." " Well, I'm crazy for you." "OK, Th- that's her." "Monica!" " Hi!" " It's so good to see you!" " You look so great!" " Stop it!" "Nothing special, right?" "No, nothing special at all." "Like, I got no buzz." "I mean, look at her, this is the hot"femme fatale"?" "Of course, she has been flying for 14 hours." "But you will admit there is something about her." "All I can say is that if something is clicking, it's so subconscious," "I'm..." "I'm totally unaware." "She's no big deal, certainly not some formidable heartbreaker." "She's a disheveled out of work actress." "I wanted you to come for so long, now you're here." "I just..." " Hi, I'm Jack." " This is Monica." "Hi, it's so nice to meet you." "I'm sorry." "I mean, I must look awful." " Please don't make any snap judgments." " No, you look fine." "I just..." "I can never sleep on the plane." "I had a Scotch and three Ambien, but still..." "Pretty cozy this ride into town." "I keep telling you I have no interest in Monica." "I just hope having her around is not gonna interfere with my work." "But there is an element of excitement, a germ, a spark, one molecule..." "God..." "I see it so clearly now." "But I'm older." "Thank you, dinner was great." "Ah, yeah, you're becoming a really great Italian chef." "Well, I figured it was her first night here, so, why not stay in?" "Yeah, it's perfect, just the three of us." "What are you reading?" "Oh, the poetry of Yeats." ""The gong-tormented sea."" "Yeah, yeah, you know it?" "Do you wanna talk about the breakup with Donald?" "Well, Donald was gay." "It was my ego that thought I could change him, and I couldn't." "Believe me, I tried." "Yeah?" "How does one try?" "Well, I mean, I don't wanna get graphic, but..." "I mean, let's just say that I gave it my all." "And it's such a shame, because he's so brilliant, and he's so wonderful out of bed." "I mean, so much fun to be with." "I tried to show him how sex with a woman could be as exciting or even more so than with someone from his own sex." "Then he tried, he... he did try." "But in the end, I struck out." "So..." "I remember you saying how much fun you have when he took you to Paris." "Have you ever had sex with a man?" "Me?" "S-sex with a man?" "God!" "No, no, no!" "I mean, no." "It's not something I'm interested in ever doing." "Why are you blushing?" "Probably because you wanna try it." "Look, I always had a little yen for sleeping with a woman, and when I finally did, and it was... very intense, it was very exciting but unnerving." "I really have no repressed..." "I shot this TV movie once, and... one of the scenes it was with this incredible lingerie model." "I mean, she was to die." "And for whatever reason, I get this message one day from the assistant director that Miss Lee would like me to go to her dressing room." "And why she was so suddenly obsessed with me, I don't know." "And then I go." "And she's in her robe." "And she takes it off, and gives me a big hug and kiss." "And I just become crazed." "I mean, I become so excited." "I mean, she was just too beautiful to turn down." "We had the thing for like..." "Three months." "Yeah, it was like being in an erotic dream." "And on the one hand, yes, it was very exciting, but on the other hand, just very confusing." "And that's when I started seeing the shrink five days a week." "Well, fortunately, Jamal came along, and we had a great relationship." "And as great as the orgasms were with Victoria." "They were stronger with Jamal, and just a lot less bewildering." "Excuse me." "She is something, isn't she?" "Yeah, I need a few minutes to recover from her story, it's still vibrating." "I think she's so fun." "Yeah, but look, finally what she got," "I mean, no real acting career, no relationship that's remotely stable, sleeping pills, shrinks." "You sound like you try to convince yourself." "Hey, I've got a great idea." "Let's go for a little walk tonight." "Oh, no, I'm exhausted." "But, why don't you take her, Jack?" "No, no, no!" "God, no!" "That would be a catastrophe!" "Why are you so worried?" "You think of me as the seductress, this is your problem." "Bullshit!" "You deliberately made up this provocative story with some lingerie model." "It was true, most of it." "OK?" "I..." "I exaggerate a little." "I like to embellish." "It's part of my creative charm." "Come on!" "Come on, why don't you come?" "Sally, you've go to go along with them." "What's with you people?" "!" "Are you crazy!" "Go away!" "You got the wrong person!" "Sofia!" "Sofia!" "Careful!" " Sofia!" "Whats happening?" "!" " What do you want?" "!" "I'll call the police!" "Go away!" "I'm serious!" "I'm going to work!" "I have to go to work!" "These people are crazy!" " What's with this car?" "!" " We'll be late for the studio." " But I'm late for work!" " Get in, Get in." "Sofia." "You come too." "Hello and welcome to TG3." "Today we have a really exceptional guest:" "Leopoldo Pisanello." " Welcome, Mr. Pisanello." "Welcome to TG3." " Thank you, yes..." "Excuse me, but why am I here?" "To answer our questions, for our interview." " What did you have for breakfast?" " Me?" "Er... caffelatte and two slices of bread with butter and jam." "Two slices of bread." "And how was it?" "Good." "Toasted." " Ah, so you prefer toast." " Yes, that's right, yes." "Why?" "May I ask?" "I don't know." "I just like it." "I usually prefer toast." " White or whole wheat?" " White." "So we can say without a shadow of a doubt..." "Leopold Pisanello prefers two slices of toasted bread." "Yes, and a caffelatte." "Without sugar." "Do you shave before or after breakfast?" " Extra - or - di - nary!" " Me?" "Me?" "Still here?" "Enough!" "Go away!" "Sofia!" "Sofia!" "Go away!" "Leopoldo!" "You were great!" " The phone hasn't stopped ringing." " Yes, but..." "They want you on the 8 o'clock news, tomorrow." " What are you saying?" "Me?" "Why?" "!" " You're famous!" " 95." " 95." "Oh, I dunno." "I can't find the address." "This is 91." "So it's..." "This goes down." " That's 93." " Uh-huh." "Can't be 95." "95's a funeral parlour." " Oh, then we're right!" " What do you mean, we're right?" "Mr. Santoli is a mortician." "You're kidding?" "He owns a funeral parlour, and don't make an issue of it." "Jesus, the kid's a communist, the father's a mortician." "Does the mother run a leper colony?" "I guess they live up stairs." " Excuse me, 9 ... 95... 95?" " Yes. 95." "Santoli." "Yes, yes." " Someone dead?" " No, but it's early." "No, no." "We're Hayley's parents." " Hayley's parents?" " Yes." "Welcome, welcome!" "Such a big pleasure to meet you!" "Oh, I'm sorry." "I'm not cleaned up." "I work all day, but..." "Please, come to our place." "We live over there." " Please, follow me." " Thank you, thank you very much!" " Did you have a nice trip?" " Oh, it was wonderful, wonderful." "Please, come in." "Mariangela, Come!" " Hayley's parents are here." " Oh, hello!" "Phyllis, Jerry." "So nice to meet you." "Buongiorno." "Oh, Mariangela don't speak good English." " No." " What do you drink?" " Well, wine would be great." "Michelangelo and Hayley should be here any minute." "But if you excuse me now, I need to go to clean up." " Mariangela, open the bottle and serve drinks." " I'm going to open it." " Meanwhile you sit down." " Ok." " Be right back." " Hello!" " Mamma!" "Hi." "Hi!" "D'you find the place OK, right?" "We just followed a passing hearse, and here we are, you know." "You're here!" "Good!" "Taste my specialties." "Oh, Mom, the green ones are like a Tapenade." "They're so good." " You should try them, they're amazing." " Oh, OK." "Oh." "Well, I'm sorry." "Excuse me." "It's great." "I mean, I try and make this, but I never get this taste." "She could teach you." "Mom why not teach her to make crostini?" " Sì, sì." " No." "Oh, no, really." " Come on, free cooking lesson." " I don't wanna be..." "Have one." "I have to kinda..." "Please." "Formaldehyde!" "[TOSCA:" "Puccini] ... L'ora è fuggita, # The time has fled... # e muoio disperato!" "# And I die in despair!" "#" "E muoio disperato!" "# And I die in despair!" "#" "E non ho amato mai tanto la vita..." "# And I've never loved life so much!" "#" "[TURANDOT:" "Puccini] ... Vincerò!" "# I will win #" "She showed me how to make these, Jerry, but, of course, she gets mozzarella fresh everyday from Naples." "What do you do, Phyllis?" "I'm a psychiatrist." "Oh!" "è una psichiatra!" "I've never been to Naples, but I hear it's beautiful." "There's no cooking like in Naples." "You see much of Italy, Jerry?" "Jerry, he's asking you a question." "Na..." "Naples." "Have you ever taken singing lessons, Giancarlo?" "Singing lessons?" "No." "What for?" "You, well, you have just a natural voice." "I'm not singer." "I sing for me." "Since I was a boy." "You have a very very beautiful gift." "But, no." "She says that I make only too much noise around the house." "And no one's ever heard you?" "No, he's our own private Caruso." "You have a fantastic voice, have you ever thought of doing anything with it?" "He sings for pleasure, not for money." "Well, there's a great deal of pleasure in money." "You know, it's green and crinkley, you can fondle the bills." "Listen, er..." "I'm no singer." "I..." "I don't know, I..." "Is it possible that after dinner, you could sing something for me?" "Me?" "No, no, no." "I become too embarrassed." "No, no, right here, just among us." "Right..." "No, no, please." "Michelangelo, please you tell him" "I, you know, I have a friend in town here, who's in the recording business." "And if you would just..." "if you would just sing." "He's a very knowledgable man." "And, and, you know, if you just.." "When you, when you're not busy, when you're not cremating anybody, we just..." "Look, he already said no." "He wants dad to sing at a recording company" "Dad's not a singer." "I'm sure you don't want him to make fool of himself." "Jerry, back off." "OK, forget it." "I'm not gonna say another word." "I..." "Forget it." "But the guy has a fantastic voice!" "This is..." "You have..." "OK, I'm finished." "The subject is closed." "But, his voice is great." "Somebody's got to do something with this, because he's, he's..." " Jerry!" " Not me!" "I'm not saying I would." "But, but he's got a fantastic..." " The man is a genius," " That's enough." "he's got a natural... great natural..." "I'm not saying anything, you know, I'm off the subject." "Great voice." "Fantastic." "Big star." " What's the name of the hotel?" " I can't remember." " Is it in the center?" " Yes, more or less." "It was... was red..." "We're here." "Sorry for the delay." "We've made you wait." "Em... yes." "Ah..." "Couldn't you wear something simpler?" "We need to meet some rather important people." " We like to see you like that." " Like how?" "But some of our friends may not understand." " I lost my suitcase on the train, so this is it." " Oh, well." "Well, we've arranged a private Vatican tour, just for you." " Lovely, lovely!" "Isn't it darling?" " Yes, I know it well." " Come on, then." " I hope they let her in." " Not dressed like this!" " Miss, are you okay?" " Yes, yes, thank you." " Thanks, but..." "Oh, but, but, but you're..." "You're Pia Fusari?" "You recognized me?" "Yes, you..." "Oh, my God, you're one of my favorite actresses!" "I'm flattered." "But how can you walk down the street like a normal person?" "We're shooting a film right here." " You want to come and see?" " Me?" "Yes!" "But that's Julietta Falcone!" "No!" "There's Luca Salta!" "I adore Luca Salta, he's so charismatic!" "No, I can't believe it!" "It's incredible." "That ceiling we saw, he painted lying on a scaffold." "Working all the time lying on your back!" "I can't imagine!" "I can, perfectly." "Shoot, I'm gonna be late to class." " Could you take Monica around today?" " No, I can't." "I'm working on my drawings." " Oh, please." "She doesn't know Rome at all." " No, I can't." "I don't have time to go to... the Colosseum for the millionth time." "Just, please, for me." "Could you do it for me?" " Ehh..." "OK." " Thank you." "I mean, wow!" " That is so impressive." " Oh, I know." " The lines, the empty space!" " Exactly." "There's a lot of negative space." "Are you sure I'm not taking you away from anything important today?" "No, I think..." "I'm just worried I was taking you away from something," " if you had work to do." " No, no, I'm fine." "This is actually my favorite thing to do." "Yeah." "If you weren't here, I'd probably be doing this alone." "I mean, it's incredible that the Colosseum is still standing after thousands of years." "You know, Sally and I have to re-tile the bathroom every six months." "These guys were truly..." "truly brilliant architects." "I just find it so ironic that there was once this magnificent civilization and now just these ruins." "I..." "I call that futile feeling "Ozymandias melancholia"." "OK." " Is this the kind of thing you want to build?" " Oh, I would be very proud if I'd done this." "Did you always wanna be an architect?" "Ah, you'll laugh if I tell you what my ambition is." "What?" "No, no, I won't." "To build radical structures, I mean, to be scandalous to change the architectural landscape." "Are.. are you interested in architecture?" "I'm interested in Gaudì, Antonio Gaudì." "I mean, for me La Sagrada Familia is poetry in stone." "Oh, bullshit!" "You had six months of college." "You know nothing of architecture but a few names." "You saw the movie, "The Fountainhead"." "I just find something so sexy about an uncompromising artist." "I mean, I would do anything to spend a night with Howard Roark." "Oh, God save me, save me!" "Another young woman wants to give her body to Howard Roark." "Come on, I mean, she is fun to talk to." "Yes, and you buy into her bullshit because she seems to know all the right things to say." "She knows names, she knows buzzwords, she knows certain cultural phrases that imply she knows more than she does." ""The Anxiety of Influence", "The Bartok's String Quartets"," ""the perversion of the dialectic", "La Sagrada Familia"," ""The gong-tormented sea"." "So, what, I should press her and not let her get away with the namedropping?" "But you didn't." "Yeah, I mean, it's sort of charming that she's a con artist." "Yes, she does have a certain something which trumps logic." "So, go ahead." "Walk into the propeller." "So was it OK with Monica today?" "Or did she just drive you crazy?" "Yeah." "I don't have enough time to spend squiring her around, you know, I'm trying to work." "I started having those insecure thoughts again today." " Please stop." " No..." "Because I thought maybe it was a bad idea that I put you guys together for the whole day, because what if you ended up attracted to her." "Please stop worrying." "She's a self-obsessed pseudo-intellectual." "I mean, she's pretty, but so what?" " She is, she's very pretty." " Yes, she's very pretty." " I mean, not conventionally." " I'd like to see her with someone." "Who do we know?" "We must know someone." " Grazie." " to fix her up with?" "Yeah, I'm sure we could scare somebody up." " Who?" "What about Leonardo Basso?" "Yeah, we exercise together." "He's nice-looking, and he's smart, and he makes good dough." "Actually, I think he broke up with some girl who was also an actress." " I think he'd be the perfect choice for Monica." " That's great." "Could y... can you call him." " Yeah." "I'll be the matchmaker." " Great." "Please sit down, Mr. Pisanello." " This will be your new office." " My new office?" "!" "But I'm not an employee." "Very funny." "Serafina, come." "Look." "We have a famous person in our company." " Good morning." " Take care of him." "Anything he needs." " All day." " With pleasure." " Thank you." "You'll take care of me all day?" " Yes" " Whatever you need, I'm here." " Yes" "Calm down." " How was your day?" " My day?" "It's been good." "Oh, I did spill coffee over some documents, but I caught it in time." "The rest of my day went well." "Did you hear that?" "Mr. Pisanello happened to spill his coffee." "But his swift reflexes and presence of mind have avoided a tragedy.." ".. with potential loss of human lives." "Why the coffee spilled.." "will be analyzed in depth on the 9 o'clock news, with our distinguished guests... the leaders of Italy, Brazil's ambassador to the UN." "Mr. Pisanello, a statement." " A statement!" " Yes, a statement." " A statement, like...?" " Tell us something." "I think..." "I think..." "Ah, it might rain." "You heard it, here." "Leopoldo Pisanello says it could rain." "Can you tell us how you'll sleep tonight?" "Normally I sleep on my back." "Leopoldo Pisanello "sleeps on his back"." "The question is: have you ever slept on your stomach?" "No, I suffer a bit from gastritis." "Nothing serious." " On my belly, I don't like it much." " How much?" " Enough!" "Please!" "Stop!" " It's important!" " Enough!" "Enough!" "Go!" "What do you want from me?" "How to sleep?" "!" "What do you think?" "I only have these, two bit, printed dresses." "I need to buy something now that you're so famous." "Sofia, I'm tired, I have a headache." "Let's forget it." "I had a terrible day with the press." "Let's skip the premiere of the film." "What?" "We have go!" "Our presence means so much to them!" "Sofia, who?" "Who cares about it!" "Are you saying that without Leopoldo Pisanello the film premiere won't go ahead?" " Sure!" " But Sofia, I'm Leopoldo Pisanello." "Mr."Any Old Asshole"." "And you're my wife." "The wife of Mr."Any Old Asshole"." "Pardon my French." "But we said we'd go." "Here's Gina Francone." "Ah!" "It's Tony Branca." " There he is." " Good evening." "Good evening." "But who do I see?" "Here he is!" "Leopoldo Pisanello!" "Accompanied by the divine Sofia." "Very elegant, with that little, "Two Bit", printed dress." "Yes, Sofia is wearing a "Two Bit", printed, cotton dress." "And what seems, a 2nd hand coat to match, picked up at a flea market." " Yes, definitely." " And I think... a run in her stocking." "We're checking, now." "Yes, it is a run in the "left" stocking." "Lady Pisanello, the run in your stocking, tell us, it's intentional?" " I have a run?" " Yes, very impressive, very fashionable." "Don't you think, Martina?" " So we'll see you soon in Cannes?" " Certainly, yes." " Sorry, but Gina Franconi's here." " Please." " Mr. Pisanello." " Yes?" " I'm Marisa Raguso, a fan." " Thank you." "I think you're much sexier than most of these "faggy" actors.." "making superhero movies." " Sure." " It'd be nice to have a little more time to talk." "I'd like to know what you think of the cultural situation in Italy." " Me?" "Tell you what, I'll give you my phone number." "Call me." " Your Number?" " Anytime." " All right." "Mr. Pisanello, tell us the truth." "Do you wear briefs or boxers?" " Boxers, large, white." " I knew it!" "I always knew!" "Clearly, you're the boxer type." "You're so cool!" "I knew it!" "Don't forget my words Non dimenticar le mie parole" "Baby you don't know what love is bimba tu non sai cos'è I'amor" "It's a thing as beautiful as the sun è una cosa bella come il sole" "It warms you more than the sun più del sole dà calor" "It seeps slowly in your veins Scende lentamente nelle vene and inches its way to your heart e plan piano giunge fino al cuor..." "So, what are you thinking now that you've fixed her up with your pal?" "I don't know." "Sally and I thought it would be a fun idea to come out and visit these ruins." "Yes, so then what occurred?" "What is it?" "I don't know." "It's..." "I know I regretted introducing her to Leonardo." "Yes!" "You're jealous!" "All of a sudden, I wanted to get her alone in a room and tell her I loved her." "Isn't that stupid?" "I never felt anything until this afternoon, and suddenly... her face got to me." "And I loved how she wore her hair." "She looks great!" " How do you like Monica?" " Oh, she's lovely." " I can't wait to see her again." " Oh, yeah?" "You're gonna see her again?" " Tomorrow night." " I think Sally and I are free Tomorrow night." "I think it's better if there's just the two of us..." "Can you bring the menu?" "Thanks." "Giancarlo, I took the liberty of calling my friend, and I set up an audition for you with the recording comp..." "I told you no." "But why?" "What do you have against live people?" "Your whole life, you can't just deal with people who have rigor mortis." "You've got a great voice." "You should be singing Pagliacci for multitudes." " You know..." " Pagliacci?" " Pagliacci, yes!" "You were born to play that." " I always dreamed of singing Pagliacci." " Yes, I know!" "Of course, 'cause you're a natural." "That's... y'know, stick with me, we can go very far, really." " We?" " We, yeah!" "I would..." "I would manage you, and I will direct you." "I'll put on the greatest production of Pagliacci." "I'm telling you I know exactly what to do." "You have to believe me." "I don't know why I'm shouting, you know." "You're two inches in front of me." "Trust me." "[TURANDOT" " G Puccini] ... No-one shall sleep!" "Nessun dorma!" "Nessun dorma!" "You too, oh Princess, Tu pure, o Principessa," "In your cold room, nella tua fredda stanza, watch the stars trembling with love guardi le stelle che tremano d'amore, and hope!" "e di speranza!" "But my secret lies hidden within me, Ma il mio mistero è chiuso in me;" "No-one shall discover my name!" "il nome mio nessun saprà!" "Oh no, I will only reveal it on your lips No, No!" "Sulla tua bocca..." "Set, you stars!" "Tramontate, stelle!" "I shall win!" "Vincerò!" "I shall win!" "Vincerò!" "How did it go?" "You know what?" "Ask your father." "Uh-oh..." "I'm so sorry, Jerry." "I let you down." "You should've seen his face." "He knew it was terrible." "It wasn't terrible, you know." "Yes, if it was at La Scala would they be throwing fruit and vegetables?" "Yes, they would have." "But, this was a cold audition room." "It's all fantasy." "You imagine his voice is better than it really is, because you're searching for an excuse to come out of retirement." "Hey, don't psychoanalyze me, Phyllis, OK?" "You know, many have tried, all have failed." "My brain doesn't fit the usual id, ego, superego model." "No, you have the only brain with three ids." "If we all eat something we'll surely feel better, eh?" "I'm not hungry It was a foolish idea to begin with." "Well, you father is a grown man, I mean, he can make his own decisions." "I don't know why you showed up at all." "You know, you were sitting there with a disapproving face, very sour through the whole thing." "Maybe you made your father nervous." "I came because he's a simple man." "And I didn't want to send him alone into a tank of shark of the music business." " Tank of sharks?" " Woah, you think my father is a shark?" "In the aquatic world, I've been likened to a spineless jellyfish, but that's about it." "Look, you defend your father, because he's family, and I understand." " But here, he's wrong." " No, I defend him because you're wrong." "There's no sin in trying something and failing." "I don't want to say anything, but I told you:" "You choose projects that are doomed to fail." "You get some kind of payoff out of failing." "What projects do I choose that are doomed to fail?" "Rigoletto, with everyone dressed like white mice?" "Can you hear him?" "Is that not a gorgeous voice?" "Sure, what good it is if he can only do it in the shower?" "Well, but you admit he can..." "He's right, Jerry." "Everyone sings great in the shower." "That's right!" "He does it in the shower." "Dad, even you sing in the shower." "I know, I..." "In life I have a terrible voice, but when I'm soaping myself under hot water," "I sound just like Eartha Kitt." "You look strange." "Phyllis, I'm having..." "There's a psychological term for this." "I'm having a breakthrough or an epiphany..." "Wha... what is that term for what I'm having?" "A death wish!" "Bravo, you were fantastic." "Come, let me introduce a raving fan of yours." " She's seen all your movies." "Milly, right?" " Yes, Milly." "Hi." " Excuse me." " So you're a fan." " Yes." " I've seen all of your films." " You flatter me." "Go on!" "No, it's true." "I think you're an exceptional actor." "When you played an Arab spy or a terrorist or a divorced father..." " I always dreamed of meeting you." " Shall we have lunch together?" " What?" "You and me?" "Together?" " I only have an hour." "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God!" "You are the sexiest man in Rome, according to "Mondo Film"." "You know?" "Yes, that's what they tell me." " Shall we?" " Yes" "Thank you." " Do you want to have many children?" " No!" "Children, no." "You become their slave." "Diapers, schools, diseases..." " Then they grow up, they leave, and you don't see them again." " Not so." "For me it was so." "I couldn't wait to run away from home." "Of course, my father was a drug dealer my mother was a shoplifter." "What could I do?" "Was I not right?" " Look!" " He's a great actor." " There's that actor, Luchino Salta." " Where?" " Yes, that's him." "But he's married." "Who's that with him?" "What's up?" "What is it?" "I'm fine, I'm fine." "I can't believe I'm here having lunch with you!" "I'm the lucky one, you know?" "I usually eat alone now." "No!" "You alone?" "You're married, it's in all the papers." "Marriage is like wine:" "if it's good, it's wonderful if not..." "We split up." "The press doesn't know yet." "It's a secret." "Of course!" "No, I wouldn't say anything, please!" " What are they doing?" " He's looking into her eyes." "He wants to pick her up." "I'd like it if you came by to watch me on the set this afternoon." "So you can give me some notes, tell me what you think..." "Then, perhaps, we can go to my hotel to talk about it." "Why?" "Are you interested in my ideas?" " You have problem with that?" " No, no." "No, absolutely" "It's just that Antonio, my husband, always says my head is in the clouds." "Which, perhaps, is a bit true, but..." "He doesn't take your ideas seriously?" "No, he takes them seriously, and respects them, but in the field of science." "Because I'm a high school teacher." "I teach astronomy." " Who would have thought?" " Yes" "So I seriously doubt you'd be interested in my ideas in the arts." "Astronomy, the sky, the planets, stars..." "You're... you are..." "Wait, don't tell me" " I won't say a thing." " Are you a Libra?" " No, I'm Sagittarius." "He took her hand." " She should slap him." " No, actually, I'm sure she likes it." " Are you hurt?" " No... no." "Good morning." "I'm Brunella Mattei." "We're at the apartment of Leopoldo Pisanello." "It's 7:30 AM, and Mr. Pisanello as you see, has just started shaving." "A televised event that we document from first to last gesture." "Mr. Pisanello is having his hair cut." " Look, just a trim." " He "opted" for a trim." "Sorry." "We're all full." "There are no tables." " You must be mistaken." "My husband booked yesterday." " Perhaps there might be a mistake." " How is this possible?" " There's no table?" "OK, we'll come back again." "No, no, no, Mr. Pisanello." "Please, this way." " How shameless!" " What manners!" " How dare you!" "We're old customers." "We'll never come back!" " They're right." "They were in line before us." " Nonsense!" "Please, this way." "Come in." "I saw you in the office and I couldn't resist." "They say that power is an aphrodisiac." " And who is she?" " My best friend." "I promised her you'd make love with her after me." "This will be one of the happiest days of her life." "You know, he's worried because he's married." "Mr. Pisanello, for you rules don't count." "You're special." "Yes, yes, I..." "I agree with you completely." "I mean, this first time I read The Myth of Sisyphus, my whole life changed." "Yes, yes." "And, of course, the Russians." "Dostoevsky, thank you." "Stavrogin's Confession?" "And Kierkegaard." "You can feel his pain." "Didn't you say that Rilke was your favorite author?" "Ah, Rilke!" ""You must change your life."" "Or was it Ezra Pound?" ""Petals on a wet black bough."" "Look at this." "She knows one line from every poet just enough to fake it." "I have such a great idea." "Tonight, after they're closed, we should sneak into the old Roman baths." "Sneak in?" " Leo, you know a way, right?" " Yeah." "He knows a way in." "It'll be dark, it'll be spooky, it'll be fun." "You know what?" "Jack doesn't do spooky." "Believe me." "I love entering places illegally." "So..." "No, I mean..." "Sure, I mean, I don't wanna be a spoilsport." "First it's Camus and Kierkegaard, and now, "I've run out of namedropping, .." "so let's break into somewhere." Pretty soon, she'll have you holding up filling stations." "I understand from where you sit it sounds crazy, but from where I sit..." "Oh, isn't this great?" "My God, I can't believe we snuck in here." "I've never seen this at night before." "It's amazing!" "How're you doing?" "I'm fine, I'm fine." "I'm just..." "It looks like it's gonna rain, doesn't it?" " He can't break any rules." " Woah, oh!" "OK!" "That was lightning!" " Hey, guys, come on!" "Let's go!" " Are you afraid?" "Come on!" " Well, I'm not afraid." " We're just sitting ducks here." "Come on!" " Unbelievable!" " OK, let's go back to the car." "Oh, now it's definitely raining!" " Just a little though!" " We have to go." "We have to come out." "Sally!" "Sally, come on!" "Here!" "Here, Monica!" "Here, Monica!" "Sally!" "Come on!" "Ah!" "Monica!" " This is amazing!" " It's a little loud." " That means it's close." "Very close." "Actually I went to school with a boy who got killed by lightning." "Do you hate it?" "No, no, I mean, I didn't mean to imply that I hate it." "I just think storms are so romantic!" "You know, you're actually..." "You're really beautiful... all wet." " Ah, you're so sweet to say that." " No, no, really." "You do." "You know, I just, I love it here." "I mean, I... think Rome is so charismatic!" "Oh, God!" "Here comes the bullshit!" "Will you keep out of the goddamn scene, and lemme have a moment alone with her?" "OK, I will allow you your moment, but remember, I know how it turns out." "I feel like I have completely fallen in love with Rome, just this little while that I've been here." "I feel like I could spend my whole life here and just never go back." "I'm sure meeting Leonardo had a lot to do with that." "Oh!" "Oh, my God!" " Oh, that one scared me!" " Yeah!" "If we die, we die together." "[AMOR TI VIETA] U Giordano."FEDORA" Act II" "Love itself forbids you not to love Amor ti vieta di non amar." "your soft hand that repulses me La man tua lieve che mi respinge, searches the path to my hand cerca la stretta della mia man:" "your eyes say "I Love you" la tua pupilla esprime "T'amo"" "while your lips say"I will not love you" se il labbro dice"Non t'amerò!"" "You were absolutely fabulous." "This guy created a sensation today." "I see a big future here." "What does this"future" mean?" "Well, I see New York, I see the Vienna Opera House," "I see Paris..." "All in the shower?" "Yes, they love it that he sings in the shower." "They identify." "You know, he's gonna be the most popular opera singer in the world." "Certainly the cleanest." "You don't want to really take this further, do you, Dad?" "Why not?" "Yes, I've got big plans for him." "I wanna do now a production of Pagliacci." "You father was born to sing that role." "This is decadent stupidity!" "My whole life I sing that role while I'm in the bathroom." "He wanted to do this his entire life." "You're gonna deny your father his shot?" "It's your shot, not his!" "I resent your tone with my father." "I happen to think out of the box." "Oh, out of the box!" "That's a very interesting choice of words." "Listen to me:" "You're retired." "You equate retirement with death." "Giancarlo's an undertaker." "He puts people in boxes, but you want to think"out of the box"." "It's true." "If you're channeling Freud, ask for my money back." "What "Pagliacci"?" "!" "What plans?" "What airplane?" "!" "Nobody's leaving!" "Where do you think you'll take my husband?" "!" "I failed high school Spanish." "I really don't..." "This guy's crazy!" "I don't understand what he's saying?" "!" "He already took away your son." "Now he wants to take you away too!" " Mariangela, calm down." " What do you mean "calm"!" " He's gonna be a big star, big opera star." " Star?" "But you can't sing!" " It's not true!" " You can't sing!" " He sings in the shower." "Water... water... water." " I'm gonna take care of him." "Yeah..." " No he can't sing." " I'm gonna take..." " Stop, stop." " I'll kill him!" "It'll set my mind at rest." "Oh!" "No!" "Hold it!" "Hold it!" "Hold it!" "Interpose yourself!" "Right... right." "Great, go ahead!" "She... she probably won't stab a woman." "No!" "Go ahead!" "Go a..." "Calm, Calm!" "Relax, relax!" "What?" "!" "What?" "!" "You have an attitude problem." "Put the knife down." "This is gonna be our mother-in-law here?" "!" "We want to introduce you to some people." "Mr. Massucci, the administrator of your company has organized this party to welcome you." "It's an opportunity to get to know the "crème de la crème" of Roman business." "We spoke very highly of you and they're eager to meet you." "Not a bad idea to make a good impression on the wives too." " Oh, sure!" " Don't drink so much, honey." " I'd better have a coffee." " Anybody want one?" " No." " Coffee?" "Look who it is!" "Here he is, come on, I want to introduce my nephew." " Good morning!" "Thank you." "Beautiful party." " Meet Antonio." "Pleasure." "So, here's the famous nephew." "I've heard such great things about you." "They say you're perfect for the image of our firm." "Image is very important to us." " Do you follow soccer?" " No." " Is that you?" " Yes." " What are you doing here, Anna?" " Milly!" "My wife..." " Hello, how are you?" " Fine, thanks." " Pleasure." " All mine." " Milly." " We have to go." " Yes" " Coffee?" "Thank you." "Caffelatte, please." " Anna!" " Ciao!" " Milly." " Since when?" " I'm Milly." " Ok.There's my wife." " Easy, don't worry." " I was just about to call you." "How about Tuesday?" " Usual time?" " Anna!" " Oh God!" " Mother of God!" "I didn't expect to meet you here." " Milly." "Here I'm Milly." "Ah, Milly?" "Alright, Milly." "Can you make it tomorrow at my office, around three?" " I don't know, I don't have my organizer." " Okay, I gotcha." "Well, if don't hear from you I'll wait at 3:00." " And please, the black bra." "The thong with..." " Yes, Yes" " But do you sail?" " No." " Hunting?" " No." " Anna, how are you?" " How are you all right!" " Milly." "Milly, Milly." "I'm so nervous!" "I can't afford to make a fool of myself." " All the most important men in Rome!" "Yes, the"creme de la creme"." " The complete list of my clients." " I've been so nervous all day." "You're too tense, my friend." "Relax or you'll have a heart attack." "How can I relax when my life is falling apart!" "How does your wife put up with you if you're always so nervous?" "Because she loves me for who I am." " That's why she was smooching that actor Luchino whats'isname?" " Salta." " What?" "!" "They were smooching?" " Pretty much." "Yeah." "You said they only held hands." "There must be an explanation, because for me Milly is like the Madonna." "The explanation is simple:" "He's a movie star, a sex symbol." "And Milly is beautiful and has never looked at another man." "You really don't understand women!" "Especially those who have a hysterical husband, afraid of his own shadow." "What the hell did they have to smooch about?" "He was devouring her with his eyes!" "You probably couldn't devour a woman with your eyes." "To someone in your line of work, I must look like a little bougeois cretin." "Was your wife a virgin when you married?" " None of your business." " I bet she was." " We did wild things together." " What do you mean by "wild things"?" " Having sex with the lights on?" "Believe me, she wasn't a virgin." "I was a virgin." " You really need a lesson!" " By whom?" "Certainly not from you." "And why not?" "Everything is already paid for." "It's free." " There are people." " No one will see us." " Don't let me forget the carrots." " OK." " You really need all this pasta?" " Yeah, I think we need more pasta." "More pasta?" "We're not cooking for a small village." " Tomatoes." " OK." " Whose idea was this enterprise?" " It was hers." "It was Monica's." "We all agreed to have dinner together." "Since Leonardo's at work all day, and Sally's at school," "Monica suggested we do the cooking." " Can I make a prediction?" " What?" " She can't cook." " Apparently there are some things she can cook." " Like what?" " Like chocolate brownies." "Brownies?" "You're going to have brownies as the main course?" "Yeah, I think it should be fun." " Do you think it needs more wine?" " Hm, no." "I mean, I know the Italians cook with a lot of..." "There's a lot wine in here." "I can really feel." "I don't know, it's... you know, I think it might be the French." "No, let me see..." " I don't want it to be too subtle." " No, it's definitely not subtle." " Can I taste it?" " Yeah, of course, please." "Hmm..." "You know, I think it needs..." "You know, I'll get some of that other wine, that's there." "The other wine?" "Are you sure?" "We've already finished this one." " Ah..." " OK." "Oh, oh, we have to put the brownies in." " Can you bake?" " Can I bake?" "You said you bake." "Well, no." "I can't..." "I have..." "I just..." "I left the, recipe in Los Angeles." "But, you know, I'll do it." "I can do it by memory." "I'm sure I can do it by memory." "Hey, you wanna just order from a restaurant, and maybe dirty up the kitchen a little bit, and say we cooked it?" "Well, yeah." "Let me check this sauce." "Yeah, you know what?" "I'm gonna check it too, actually." "Oh, do you want, penne or rigatoni?" "Don't put the pasta in now." "They're not gonna be home for hours." " What?" " I think I'm a little drunk." " Really?" " Yeah." "We can just..." "We can fake it." " Yeah, I'm done with this." " Good." " I'm done with the cooking." " OK." "I promised Leonardo that I'd make a really great dinner." "Yeah.You know, I'm so glad it worked out between you and Leonardo." "Really." "Because, you know, I'm the one that got you together." "Yeah, I mean, he... he's nice." "Sexy." "I think you told Sally." "Hmm... hmm..." "Look, this is the wine talking." "He's not the most soulful character, and he's not, um... he's not a sufferer." "What's so great about suffering?" "Well, just." "There's something attractive about a man who's sensitive to the agonies of existence." "God, you would... you would be perfect to play Miss Julie." "The Strindberg play?" "The Miss Julie tactic, I learned it from a friend of mine, who's a theater director." "Tell any actress who would be perfect for the role of Miss Julie," " and you could have your way with her." " Just so amazed that you would say that." "I mean, Miss Julie is the role that I was born to play." "She is me!" "How could you know that?" "I have a kind of non sequitur question to ask you now?" "What?" "How would you feel if I kissed you?" "Oh!" "That is a non sequitur." "Our little miss shocked!" "Didn't you see that two minutes ago she popped tic-tac?" "What do you think that's about?" "I'm serious." "I'm serious." "What would you think?" "I would think that you're living with my best friend." "Yeah, this is true." "And yet, I can't stop myself." " Oh, that's not good!" " Why?" "You didn't like it?" "No, I liked it, and that's what's not good." "And you?" "Will you ever recover from it?" "No, no, she's perfect." "I mean, this is too good to be true." "If something is too good to be true, you can bet it's not." "I have to have her." "What are we gonna do about this?" "Are you acting?" "Was it a performance?" "I can't do this to Sally in her home." "No, it's OK." "It's OK, trust me." "She won't be home for hours." " No, I just mean I..." " What?" "I don't wanna do it here." "For Christ's sakes, what is all this posturing about?" "If you're gonna screw your best friend's boyfriend, does it really matter what the venue is?" " You'll never understand women." " That's been proven." "This is not gonna be some ongoing affair behind Sally's back, right?" "This is one rainy afternoon, I'm a little bit drunk..." "And yeah, I'm turned on by you, but, just not here, not in her home." "OK." "Look, the time for debating is long passed." "Let's go down to the car." "Well, the car is different." "You can fuck me in the car." "I'm fine with that." "Smile!" "Smile!" "My God, this can't be!" "It's my cousin!" "We met by chance." "I have anything to say, nothing." "Let's go." "Nothing, nothing!" "Please..." "We met by chance!" "I was waiting for my wife." "Have some respect at least for the procession." "Roberto, I can't take it anymore." "Why me, Roberto?" " What's going on?" " Sir, you need to resign yourself to it." " You are very, very famous." " But why?" "!" "Look here, the pills..." "This morning it was full." "Mamma Mia!" " Why am I famous?" " Why?" "You're famous for being famous." "But I've done nothing, Roberto." "Excuse me, but, do you think all those who are famous deserve it?" "I don't know!" "You see, even you're asking my opinion?" "!" "Everyone's asking for my opinion." "I don't know!" "Everybody asking questions!" "My life is a living hell!" "A journalist asked me two days ago if there is a God." "I said, "What do I know?" "I don't know," and she got upset." ""Mr. Pisanello doesn't know if there is a God" But I don't know!" "I don't know!" "Everyone asks me things..." ""Pisanello"" ""How do you scratch your head?" "With the right or the left?"" ""With both hands." "Oh, he scratches with both!"" "These are private matters!" "I'll scratch my head with whatever hand I feel like" " It's private!" " The way I see it, sir, I disagree." "Being a celebrity, excitement, special privileges." "Adoring crowds who want your autograph!" "Never having to stand in line!" "And the women!" "You don't know." "They worship me!" "They kneel!" ""Ah, Pisanello!" "How beautiful!" "You're so beautiful!"" "They all want to go to bed with me -- in threes, fours." "I have enough problems with two." "The wife of a man of your caliber knows she has to share him with the public." "Normalcy." "With no one to interrupt me..." "Like the nice discussion wer're having now,without being interrupted..." "Enough!" "Take me home!" "Enough!" "I'll report you for violation of privacy!" "You're heartless bunch!" "Attaboy!" "You're better than I had imagined." " Why are you so quiet?" " Because I committed adultery." "Consider it part of your training." "Some things I've never done before." "Never." " Why not?" " Because of Milly would get upset." "But with me you had no problem." "Is it because I'm a prostitute?" "With you I felt uninhibited." "But now I feel guilty." "Milly would never commit adultery." "She would never betray me." "Maybe she wouldn't mind you learning something." "Some things I can't do with Milly." "She's like a saint." "Yes, like a Madonna." "The Saint here is you, not Milly." "You came into marriage a virgin, not her." " Like it?" " It's beautiful here!" " Want a drink?" " No, thanks, I can't." "Why not?" " Here." " Thank you." " I love the old songs, those of my childhood." " They're very beautiful." " And the way we used to dance before." "Eh, yes?" " Eh?" " You're very good." " Well you know..." "Didn't you want to talk?" " Nostalgia is my weakness." " Memories are so beautiful." "Did anyone ever tell you you're beautiful?" "It is not true, no." "My husband maybe once but never a movie actor." "Please don't think of me as an actor, I am a human being like everyone else... withthesamefeelings,thesame vulnerabilities, the same desires." "Excuse me but, when you kiss those beautiful women in the cinema... you seem to be, how should I say..." "A crazy man." "A movie kiss is just a put on." "Yes, I know, but I've always wondered what it would be like kissing Luca Salta." "Now you know." " It's supendous!" " I'm supendous?" " No, even more!" " Hang on here comes the rest." " What rest?" "Well, we must." "At this point I can't go back." " You're enchanting." " No, no, no." "What a disaster!" " I don't see any disaster." " Yes it is a disaster." "I'm dying to make love with you... .. So I could tell my grandchildren something, but I can't commit adultery." "Forget the semantics..." "I want you totally." "Madonna mia, I don't know what to do." "I don't know what to do." "I love my husband, but I am so curious." "Life is so short, there are certain moments already written in destiny." " This is one of those moments." " No, wait wait wait, please." "I'm going to the bathroom." "Don't move." "Don't move from there." "Don't go." "I swore I wouldn't do this." "I know." "I know,me, neither." "I, I have to tell Sally." "But you said your relationship was winding down." "I mean, this cannot be because of me." "No, no, don't say that!" "No, no, it is." "It's winding down." "I..." "I had fantasies yesterday of us being together." "Really?" "Exploring Italy, and... looking at all the great architecture of Milan and Venice and Naples." " You could teach me." " I'm a good teacher." "We could stay in little towns in bed-and-breakfasts." "Listen, Sally's taking her exams next week at the university, I..." "I just don't wanna bring this to her before then." "No, of course." "Yeah, but right after, right after." "I..." "I love you." "Alright." "Yes" "Who is that?" "He seems interesting!" "We're on the street with Aldo Romano." "It is true that you are a bus driver?" "What do you want?" "I don't understand." "What?" " Is it true you're bringing your clothes to the laundry?" " Yeah, so!" "What do you want?" " Do you like hamburgers?" " No, I don't." " Is that a stain on the jacket?" " Yes, it's marinara sauce." " How did it happen, exactly?" " Do I have to tell everyone?" "!" "Eating rigatoni." "The fork slipped." "I got a stain." "I don't get why it matters to you." " Gabriele, Camilla, Sofia." " Hello, Dad!" "Hello!" "Hello!" "You know what?" "It's all over." "It's back to just like before." "I'm so happy!" "Now Aldo Romano is all over the news." "To celebrate we'll go eat a pizza in Velletri." "I'm buying." " Who is he?" " Aldo Romano." "I think I did really well in the exams." "Of course, you did." "You sailed through it, because you studied hard enough." "I worked hard!" "Yeah, you did." "She doubts herself for no reason, I don't know why." "Do you guys want something else?" " Sure?" " No!" " No." "Oh, OK." "Alright, well..." "OK." "You see how confident she is?" "So I'm gonna take her to dinner, and I'm gonna talk to her tonight." " OK." "Are you sure?" " Yeah, yeah, of course." "In fact, I planned out an amazing trip for us." "Believe it or not, I've never been to the Acropolis or the Parthenon." "Can we go to Sicily?" "Yeah, of course." "You know what?" "Actually, we could hire a sailboat and go around the boot," " if you want to." " I've always seen pictures of Palermo," " I just think it is so romantic." " Well, pictures are nothing compared... ..to being there, in the real place." "We..." "If you wanna." "Yeah, sure." "Excuse me." "Hello?" "No, I can't." "Hello?" " OK, I'm gonna see if I can..." " Sure." "Hello?" " It's sad." " What is?" "That you're in love with Monica." "I just, something about her." " You know that Sally's in love with you, right?" " I know." "And your common sense tells you that Sally is the much more sensible choice." "Yeah, I know." "I know all of that, and yet..." " I can't explain it." " I understand." " Guess what?" " What?" " I got a part." " A part?" "A good part in a movie." "It's a high budget, it shoots in Los Angeles and Tokyo." " But where?" " I have to leave tonight." "What was that about a sailboat and Sicily?" " They need me for like five months." " Five months in Japan?" "One month in Los Angeles, four in Japan." "I mean, assuming it all goes on time." "Oh, I cannot wait to go!" "I mean, it is like my dream in life to spend time in the far east." " That's your dream?" " Who's in it?" "Justin Brill, Ricardo Ramirez..." "Ricardo Ramirez?" "He's a very attractive man." "And I worked with Justin Brill before, like when he was married to Rebecca Wright," " and he had this big mad crush on me." " Well, he's available now." "This is so exciting!" "I can't wait to get back to Los Angeles, see my acting coach." "No matter what it's like to visit a place, there's nothing like home." " Who's directing?" " Mark Strombel." "I... adore him." "I adore his work." "And you know what?" "He's like the only director that I would trust to direct the nude scenes that I have to do?" "And although, I hear he does a lot of drugs, and somehow, that burnt-out look is just so... it's just so sexy on him." "I have to lose some weight." "I mean, the writer saw me on that TV thing, and he just... he flipped out over my quality." "I'm like five pounds or so." "I'll just start running again." "I'll start running again." "This part is such a great showcase for me." "I just hope I can bring my dog." "I hope it's not like London where it's so hard to bring a pet." "Keep calm, Milly, calm down." "Better to go to bed and have 'one' regret... .. Or not go and have 'lifelong' regrets." "What do I do?" "Better 'one' regret, no?" "Better 'one' regret." "Absolutely!" " Yes, better 'one' regret." " Shut up." "Shut up or I'll kill you." "Now open the door and let's go." "Not a word." " Are you ready darling?" " Quiet." "Don't open your mouth." "Do as I say, and nothing will happen to either of you." "Got it?" " Yes" " Gimme your money and jewelry." " You know who I am?" ".." "Huh?" " No, I don't." "I don't give a damn." " You shut up!" "Stop crying!" " Here." " Give me your wallet." " It won't come off." " Gimme your watch." "The watch!" " Yes" "Open up." "Open up!" "This is Hotel Security!" "Open up, Luca!" "I know you're there." " My wife!" "That's my wife." " Your wife?" " Yes" " Excuse me, weren't you separated?" "!" " Oh God the alimony!" " I don't want to end up like the other woman in the paper." " I'm finished." "Oh God!" "Listen to me." "Let's do this..." "You're not finished yet." "We'll do this." "You go to the bathroom and hide in the shower." "I'll get in bed with her." "You go, and shut the door." " Get in." " Yes, good." " Shut it..." "In bed!" "Open up!" " He'd better explain why he didn't open the door." " Come on." " They're in bed." " Didn't you hear me knocking?" " What's going on?" "Are you crazy?" " Didn't you hear?" "Hear what?" "!" "I'm here with my girlfriend, in the middle of er..." "You're not this woman's husband?" " What husband?" "!" "I don't know her!" " Ma'am you said it was your husband." " You're crazy!" "I'll call my lawyers!" "Look you can't barge into a hotel room..." "Please forgive us and excuse us." "..What have you done!" "I don't understand this..." " It wasn't my fault." " Leave!" " Look, it wasn't my fault." " Madam, gimme a break!" " Excuse us." "Excuse us." " I'll call my lawyers." "Yeah right "Excuses"!" " Anyway, I..." " Take it easy, madam." "Thank you." " It shouldn't have gone like this." "I don't know what happened." " Take it easy, ma'am." " But..." " Enough!" "Thanks." "Thanks a million." "I won't disturb your..." "Rather..." "In fact, here's the watch." "Also the ring." "Take it." "It's all yours." " Thanks." "Really." "Thank you." " I should thank you.!" " A thousand thanks." "Ciao." "Thank you." " Ciao." "I can't believe it." "'Course y'know he's right." "You're really cute." " What?" " He's right, you're pretty." "Thank you." "Ar.. are you a real thief?" "Yes, I'm a thief." "Let' say'specializing' in hotels." " I also do a bit of mugging." " Oh yeah?" " Hm!" "Exciting!" " You're exciting." "You know I, I've never made love with a criminal." " My husband's a very respectable businessman." " Oh yeah?" "You know what theysay:" ""Opportunity makes the thief"." "So, lets take this opportunity." "No?" " Sure." " Of course." " We're in a hotel room." " We're in bed, you're in your underwear." " Yeah, already.. undressed." " So..." " So, what..." " So, anyway..." "I guess I'll never hear from Monica again." "Yes, but you can read her about in the gossip columns dating Justin Brill, vacationing in his Aspen lodge." "Consider yourself lucky." "You saved your own life there." "A year with her, she would let you freefall parachuting and adopting Burmese orphans." " Well with age comes wisdom." " With age comes exhaustion." " Look, here is where we first met." " Yeah." "I should be gettng back to the Excelsior." "It's a nice hotel, you're obviously doing well." "There's a lot of dough in shopping malls." "You sold out." "As a foolish man once said, "Stuff happens."" "Alright, I'll leave you here." "Goodbye." "How lovely, eh!" "Tonight there's a film preview." "We can go without all the commotion and enjoy the film." "No need to pose for journalists!" "You know, we weren't invited." "Then we can stay at home and enjoy the film." "And I no longer have to share you with models, actresses and sexy secretaries." "Wha..?" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "I am Leopoldo Pisanello." "Good morning, ma'am." "This morning I had breakfast." "I put butter on two slices of bread and jam." "Then I made lather with shaving gel." "Because that's how I shave, with gel." "I really like the lather." "I am Leopoldo Pisanello." "Good morning." "Want an autograph?" "I'm Leopoldo Pisanello." "You want one?" "I'm Leopoldo Pisanello." "Madam!" "I'll give you a scoop:" "I wear boxers." "Do you want to see them?" "Do you want to see the boxers?" "Here they are." "I wear large, white boxers." "Here they are." "It 's a scoop!" "Madam!" "I'm Leopoldo Pisanello." "Do you think a trim would be better?" "And this is my wife." "Miss, look." "A run in her stockings." "A run in the stocking is fashionable." "It's a "trend" a "trendy" run!" "Do you want to see Pisanello on one leg only?" "Here it is, Pisanello on one leg." "It's an exceptional 'scoop." "This morning I had breakfast..." "Stop, you paparazzi!" "Enough, paparazzi!" "Enough!" "Excuse me, but I know you." "Yes, I remember your face." "Weren't you...?" "What was your name?" " I'm Leopoldo Pisanello." " That's it!" " You want an autograph?" " Yes, if you want to... here." " I'll give you an autograph." " Please." " I'm Leopoldo Pisanello, remember." " Thank you." "Good bye." " It's me." "Thanks" " You see?" " Yes, let's go home." "There are the children..." " Let's go." "Here, here." "He'll surely remember me." "This gentleman, at one time, was my driver." "Right?" " Yes." " There!" " I told you sir:" "life is sometimes cruel... and gives no satisfaction." "Neither to the rich and famous... .. nor the poor and unknown." "But, rich and famous is decidedly better." " Goodbye." " Goodbye." "Thank you." " Sir." "Come on." " You hear what he said?" " Yes, I got..." "I got it." " Milly?" "Milly?" " Where were you?" "I was worried." " What happened to you?" " You weren't here." "I went to find you!" "Then I lost the cellular." "Then "I" got lost in Rome." "But where were you?" "My uncles "organized" every single minute." " Did it, at least, go well?" " Let's go home." " How do you mean Home?" " Yes, let's go back to Pordenone." " But we just got here." " It doesn't matter." " I don't want to see my uncles and aunts and all their cretinous friends." "I don't want that job." "I want my old job back." "Maybe we won't be rich, but we will have a better life." " You still like to teach?" " Yes, sure." "But..." " No"buts"." "We'll go home now, and have a life." "A much better life, with children." "And I can... paint a little." "OK." "You surprise me." "I don't know what to tell you." "Don't say anything." "Let's make love." " What?" " Before leaving, to celebrate." "Now I'll teach you something about the stars." " I'll blow you away." "So, don't be surprised." " Blow me away." "1438.25 01:40:43,263 -- 01:40:48,809 [PAGLIACCI] Ruggero Leoncavallo 1438.5 01:41:01,261 -- 01:41:05,511 Viva Pagliaccio!" "Viva Pagliaccio!" "Long live Pagliaccio!" "..." "Mi accordan di parlar?" "# Allow me to speak?" "#" "Un grande spettacolo a ventitré ore #A great show for twenty-three hours. #" "Vesti la giubba, # Put on your costume... # e la faccia infarina." "#.. powder your face. #" "La gente paga, e rider vuole qua." "# The people pay and they want to laugh. #" "E se Arlecchin t'invola Colombina, #If Harlequin shall steal your Columbine# ridi, Pagliaccio #.." "laugh, clown... # e ognun applaudirà!" "#so the crowd will cheer!" "#" "Ridi, Pagliaccio, # Laugh, clown... # sul tuo amore infranto!" "# at your broken love!" "#" "Ridi..." "# Laugh. #" "Il nome!" "il nome!" "Santo diavolo!" "Fa davvero" " The name!" "The name!" " Holy Devil!" "Really... #" "Che fai?" " A te!" "A te!" " Ferma!" "#" "What are you doing?" " To you!" "To you!" " Stop #" "Di morte negli spasimi lo dirai!" "# In the throes of death you will tell!" "#" " Soccorso!" "Silvio!" " Nedda!" "#" "Help!" "Silvio!" " Nedda!" "#" "Ah!" "." "Sei tu?" "Ben venga!" "# Ah, it's you?" "So be it!" "#" "La commedia è finita!" "# The comedy is over. #" "Dad, the critics says you were wonderful, "a voice from the golden era"." "It is so great, I can't believe it!" "But no more for me!" " I've proved myself enough." " You're very handsome here" "Mamma don't fly, I don't tour, my life is fulfilled." "I have a great family." "I stay home." "I relax." "I bury people." "I'm happy." " You're not going though?" " No, no it's enough!" "Tonight I owe everybody an apology." "We should get to the Spanish Steps for Max's cocktail party." "We're late?" "No, he's an old friend of my father, he's not gonna mind if we're a bit late." " But we should go soon." " Alright." " Do you forgive me?" " Oh, I'm so happy for your husband." "And as for you, how can I not forgive you?" "I love you." ""Another Caruso, and in difficult conditions."" "Oh, goodness, they weren't very kind to my father, were they?" "Uh..." "Oh, I think it's better you don't hear that." "No, no, I can take it." "Just don't tell my Dad." "Thankfully, he doesn't understand a word of Italian." "Alright, um..."Except from Mr. Santoli magnificent voice..." " Magnifica!" "The best voice of all!" " "whoever imbecile..." imbecile?" " Yeah, imbecile." ""whoever imbecile conceived this moronic experience..." ""...should be taken out and beheaded."" "Oh, well, he's gotten worse." "This has to be the most beautiful terrace in all of Rome." "Yeah, for my wife and I is a privilege to live up here." "Yeah, I mean, the Spanish Steps right there, the people watching..." "Phyllis, the review was so great." "I mean, the press... what..." "The press called me, um..." "not... not, what's the word they used?" "not a maestro, but ah...ah... an "imbecille"!" " What does it mean?" " Means you're ahead of your time." "Your mother, I'm happy to say, a lucky woman," ".. married an "imbecille"." " So I toast to my future father-in-law." " Ah, well, good luck to you guys." "Honey, let's go to see the piazza." " Get a click." "I'm so glad to see them." "They make a lovely couple." "Oh, this city is unbelievable." "I think we should get married right in front of the fountain there." "Anything you want." "Oh, I could stand here all night." "It's so beautiful." "It's me, that knows Rome best, not the traffic policeman or anyone." "I see all from here." "The Romans, the students, the lovers on the Spanish Steps." "There're many stories." "Next time you come."