"Grrr!" "(Beeping)" "An incoming Eggman attack!" "Better get the gang together." "United Village Defenders of the Village, unite!" " On my way!" " Let's move!" "I'm on it!" "It's really not a good time for me." "I kind of have plans." " What?" " Seriously, Knuckles..." "What do you mean you have other plans?" "I was gonna catch a movie with Mike." " Hi, I'm Mike." " Uh, yeah." "Hi." "But we've got to get moving." "Eggman's attacking." "But today's the last day of Jungle Fighter III:" "Revenge of the Jungle Fighter." "JungleFightercanwait." "Itis  important to battle Eggman." " Great!" "See?" "Let's go." " So where are we going?" "Oh, uh, I meant me and Knuckles." " Why can't he come?" " Yeah, why can't I come?" "We can't bring you to a battle." "I mean, you're... just a guy." " (All gasp)" " Just a guy?" "No, I didn't..." "What I meant to say was..." "He's not... you know..." "I think you've said enough already." "We don't have time for this." "I can't believe you said that to Mike." "What did he say?" "Uh... battle's over here, guys." "He called my friend Mike "just a guy"." " (Both gasp)" " Huh!" "Sonic, how could you?" "I didn't mean..." "Yeah, Sonic." "That's a crummy thing to say to a dude." "(Groans)" "Well, got to go." "You know I'm right." "Don't worry, Sonic, this'll all blow over." "By tomorrow nobody will even remember what you said." "It's been 24 hours since Sonic the Hedgehog's infamous "just a guy" comment shook the very foundation of our fair village." "I'm here now with an angry mob." "(Shouting)" "Sonic barged in and called Mike "just a guy", as if to say he was so much better than the rest of us." "We begged him to stop but he kept berating the poor fella." "That Sonic, living it up on the beach." "He's lost touch with the common man." "Can you believe that guy?" "I mean, the nerve of some people." "Can I get a chilli dog?" "Oh, jeez, that sure sounds complicated." "Can you really trust me with that order?" "After all, I'm just a guy." "(Groans)" "All I did was call him a guy." "Is that guy not a guy?" "It's not what you said, Sonic, it's how you said it." "But the town will forgive you if they see you making an effort to change your condescending, insensitive attitude." "Lucky for you, I happen to teach a sensitivity training seminar every weekday morning 8am to 3pm and there's enough open spots in the class for all of you." "(All sigh)" "Not cool, Sonic." "I still don't get why we have to do all this stupid training just because of Sonic's big dumb mouth." " (Whistle)" " Uh-uh-uh." "Insensitive remark." "This training's not stupid." "Now, how are everyone's sensitivity hats coming along?" "(Groans)" "When you feel frustrated, instead of lashing out at someone else, close your eyes, take a deep breath and go to your happy place." "Let's practise that." "That'll teach you to team up with alien overlords, you robo-trash." "Now I realise that even though on the outside" "I was hitting my sidekick with a mallet, on the inside I was hitting myself with a mallet of my own insecurities." "(Sobs)" "It's OK, bro." "I like to hit things too." "(Sniffs) Sonic, would you care to share with the group?" "I don't know." "I guess I could be more mindful of people's feelings and stuff." "And..." "maybe I'll go talk to Mike." "Tell him I'm sorry." "(All) Ohh!" "All right, bring it in." "Listen, Mike, I was wrong to say you're just a guy." " And?" " And I'll never do it again." "And?" "And you're welcome to come to the next battle with Eggman." "Apology accepted." "Can we go now?" "We must wait until Eggman launches an attack." " How about now?" " No, see..." "So... now?" "Let's go now." "(Inhales) Just go to your happy place." "Just go to your happy place." "(Sighs)" "What's this, your happy place?" "When's the battle?" "Now?" "(Groans then inhales)" "(Sighs)" "What's this, your happier place?" "Cool." "So can we go to the battle now?" " (Groans) - (Beeping)" "What?" "Oops." "One too many." "(Beeping)" "(Tails) Incoming attack from Eggman." " OK." "Now." " Hold on a minute." "(Groans)" "Behold." "My latest invention." " Agh!" " Ugh!" "Oh, boy." "That's not good." "How could you take that fella to a battle?" "He's not like you, Sonic." "He's just a guy." "Wait." "I only took him to the battle because you people... (All gasp)" "You people?" "(Groans)" "Perhaps our enthusiasm yesterday was a bit premature." "As it turns out, some people still have a long way to go in their training." "But I'm sure that we'll all learn to be compassionate after tomorrow's sensitivity training camping trip!" "(All except Sonic cheer)" "You know what I think is compassionate?" "Saving the village from Eggman every week." "But do I get any props for that?" "No." "Everyone just goes around gasping at me when I call a guy "a guy" or people "people"." "(All gasp)" "I quit heroing and I quit this stupid group!" "(Laughs)" "Sonic the Hedgehog?" "Retired?" "Yeah, and the rest of his do-gooder friends are going on some lovey-dovey camping trip." "The town is ours for the taking." "Wait, didn't we try this once before already?" "No, that was when Eggman retired." "This time Sonic's retiring." "Totally different thing." "(All cheer)" "Sounds like an opportunity to launch an offensive." "Yeah, and you should attack too." "If I do that, Sonic will come out of retirement and fight me." "I'll need to bide my time." "Wait for just the right moment." "Ah, do nothing at all." "It's that kind of evil scheme that keeps you feared around the globe." "(Chuckles)" "But it's already a juice container." "Why dirty a glass?" "(Chuckling)" "And tomatoes on the side, please." "(Chuckles)" "Sonic, you have to do something about the Lightning Bolt Society." "Oh, whatever." "I've eaten burritos more dangerous than them." "Sorry, guys." "I'm retired." "Well, well, look what we have here." "A fence." "Trying to dictate where we can and cannot go." "Oh, yeah." "Anarchy, baby!" "Woo-hoo!" "(All cheer)" "(Sheep bleat)" "(Shrieking)" "(Shrieking)" "So much for early retirement." "My baby!" "Again." "Somebody save my baby!" "Again." "(Wails then gurgles)" "Now, this feels like the right moment." "He'll never see me coming." " Sonic, look out!" "It's Eggman." " Huh?" "Oh!" " (Bleating)" " Argh!" "What the heck is that?" "Can't see anything!" "What's going on?" "(Cheering)" "We were wrong about you, Sonic." "You are better than us." "Thank you for saving the village." "And my baby." "Again." "I knew if we left you alone long enough you'd step up and save the day." "I appreciate you taking partial credit for my heroics, Amy, but someone actually deserves my thanks..." "Mike." "Without his help, I never would have seen Eggman coming." "You're more than just a guy, Mike." "You're a hero." "Oh." "Neat-o." "Oh, man, we thought we were the baddest in town but then Eggman showed up with his claw doodad..." "I appreciate what you're trying to do but you're not good at it." "Yeah, you're not good at it." "(Groans) And I suppose you people could do better?" "(All gasp)" "Let's see those sensitivity hats, boys."