"(RED DWARF THEME)" "I understand you played an idiotic prank on a senior and much respected officer yesterday." "That is just not true, sir." "We played the prank on Mr Ackerman, sir." "Oh, I see." "What happened?" "We inserted a capsule of the truth serum, sodium pentothal, into his asthma inhaler, sir." "Which is why he..."Rushed onto the bridge this morning, apologised for being late" ""saying he'd been having jiggy-jiggy with the Science Officer's wife" ""and hadn't allowed enough time to change out of his Batman outfit."" " Permission to snigger, sir?" " Permission refused." "May have to snigger anyway, sir." " Do either of you have anything to say?" " About what, sir?" "About Mr Ackerman." "About him being late and wearing a Batman outfit." "Has he considered being Tarzan?" "Costume change would be much quicker." "You two are both serving a two-year sentence in the brig." "Do you want to get out?" "Ever?" "It's just that Mr Ackerman's so... horrible, sir." "I am not, sir." "I'm extremely nice." "Lovely, in fact." "Warm, caring, but most of all, nice." "Hence my nickname, "Nicey" Ackerman." "That's why I entered the service, sir, so I could share my sunny disposition with inmate scum who didn't have my start in life." "Sir, he's been horrible from the moment we first met him." "Today, we have a new intake." "To them I say, obey the rules." "Keep out of trouble and your time here will pass much more pleasantly." " Welcome to Floor 13." " Seems like a nice guy." " Lf you want to speak, ask my permission." " I was just saying how nice you seemed." "You spoke again." "But I was paying you a compliment, buddy." "I was saying how you seemed to be a fair-minded, okay kind of guy, not one of these psycho types you sometimes get who run prisons." "You spoke again." "Come on, dude, back me up." "Hang on, wait!" "I get it, I should shut up." "If I shut up, they'll stop hitting me." "That is definitely the key." " That is totally untrue, sir!" " Save it." " What actually happened..." " Save it." "Save it, Mr Ackerman." "I've thought long and hard about a suitable punishment and I've come up with this." "You, and a team of your choice, will play basketball" " against a team of guards led by Mr Ackerman." " God bless you, sir." "Where you will be trounced and humiliated in front of the entire inmate population." "But, sir, if we lose, Baxter and his cronies will beat us to a pulp." "You better win, then." "(SPECTATORS CHEERING)" "Okay, guys, way to go." " Where were you?" " Where was I?" " You were supposed to be picking up Rice." " I did." "We're meeting for drinks on Thursday." "Not that kind of picking up, you ninny." "Buddies, we gotta stop arguing." "We can't lose this." " Got it all taken care of." " As soon as the guards swig their half-time juice." "The skutters smuggled something out of the Medi-Lab for us." "You know the stuff that helps impotent guys put zest back in their love lives?" "Boing, the virility enhancement drug?" "That's the stuff." "We've Mickey Finned their drinks." "Within seconds, you're harder than a quadratic equation." "And it doesn't wear off for seven hours." "For seven hours those guys are going to be like catapults." " That's going to seriously slow them down." " You're not kidding." "Try moving fast with a fishing pole in your pants." "Get out there and kill." "They're lambs to the slaughter." "Go on, go get them." "(SPECTATORS CHEERING)" "Get him, Ackerman, get him." "Get your hands up!" "Get your hands up." "Don't let them shoot." "Don't let them shoot!" "Yes!" "Seven hours." "Do you know how long that is?" "I couldn't remove my shorts until after midnight." "When I wanted a leak, I had to do a handstand on the toilet seat." "I stopped the lift doors from closing, I wasn't even catching a lift." " Where'd you get it, the Medi-Lab?" " Yes, sir." "How?" "If it was one of those damn skutters, I'm gonna have it crushed." "It was me, sir." "When the Doc's back was turned." "I went up to the Medi-Lab for a sick note, but the Doc thought I was feigning illness and didn't accept it was possible to have athlete's hand." "First thing tomorrow you're on spud duty for two weeks." "Now get out of my sight, both of you." "Ha!" " Stuck?" " Yeah." "God, this is hard." " What are you doing, a crossword?" " No, join-the-dots." " What number are you stuck on?" " 124." "124. 124." "Have you tried 125?" "I know the number, you gimboid." "It's finding it that's the hard bit." "I'm not some brain-dead simpleton." "Ah, there it is." "Look at that." "It's a bucket and spade." "It's clever that, isn't it?" "Ah, supper." "Are we supposed to tip them?" "I'm never sure." "I've seen things more appetising on the floors of elephant houses." "Only a total idiot would eat this." "They call this meat?" "My grandmother's buttocks deep-fried in old chip fat would taste better than this." "We're on the punishment menu now." "No chips, no ice cream, just the basics." " Because we're on punishment detail?" " Yeah." "Kill Crazy reckons they give us the cloning experiments that have gone wrong with some gravy slopped over to disguise it." "You waited until I was swallowing till you said that, didn't you?" "He swears blind the other day he got something with two noses in it." "Of course he didn't." "They can't do that, it's illegal." "His starter sneezed!" "Jimbo Steele was a witness." "Kill Crazy's insane." "He's got lots of strange ideas." "He reckons every time they flush a loo on a plane, it drops straight out." "And that's why they don't let you go to the lav when the plane's standing on the runway." "For fear of skid starts." " He's probably right." " Of course he isn't." " Why else wouldn't they let you go, then?" " I don't know." "Maybe they're helping you break up your journey." "If they let you go to the loo first off, you'd have nothing to do after you've eaten your cheese." "No, Kill Crazy's probably right." "That's why houses on the flight path are always so cheap." " 'Cause of all the flushing planes?" " Yeah, well, think about it." "You can't sunbathe, you can't have a barbecue and every time you go out, you got to wear a washable hat and leg it to your car." "It's the noise." "That's why houses on the flight path are so cheap because of the noise." " The noise?" " Yeah." "They're half a mile up." "You'd never be able to hear people on the loo from that distance." "Not unless they were like my Uncle Dan." " Not eating?" " Yeah." "Yeah." "In a minute." "(METALLIC TAPPING)" "Yah!" "Oh!" "Chicken vindaloo." "Nice one, Bob." "What about the poppadums?" "You didn't forget them, did you?" "Poppadums." "Here's a little something for you." "Same time tomorrow." "Cheers." "Is that the skutter who got you the stiffening solution for the basketball game?" "Yeah." "He can get anything can Bob." "A claw in every pie." "Tomorrow we're on spud duty and those knives are supposed to be as sharp as a chemistry teacher's cardigan." "Do you reckon he can get us a couple of good potato peelers?" "Hang on, I'm onto something here." "Forget the potato peelers." "What we want is one of those programmable viruses from the science block." "Programmable what?" "Yeah, they used to be on Z deck." "I wonder if the nanos have reconstructed them." "You can programme them to do anything you want." "Eat potato skins, you name it." "So we could programme them to eat the skins off the potatoes and leave the rest intact?" "We wouldn't have to lift a finger." "Two weeks of hell would become potato paradise!" "I'll get on the blower to Bob's missus, she'll take a message for us." "Bob's got a missus?" "Yeah, Madge." "She's amazing, nought to 60 in under 10 minutes." "(TAPPING RHYTHMICALLY)" "(RHYTHMIC METALLIC TAPPING)" "Damn." " Can't he help us?" " No, wrong number." "I got the Chinese laundry." "Do you need anything ironing?" "Now remember, two entire battalions went missing from this ship." "Vanished without trace." "We must stick together and remain constantly vigilant." "One minute, everything's fine." "Then you lose concentration for a split second and you're all alone, and easy pickings for some hostile life form." "I know you think I'm a bit of a fusspot when it comes to safety procedures." "But it's staying alert that has kept us all..." "Kept us..." "Hello?" "Oh, Creator." "I'm on my own." "Hey, buddy." "We're in here." "What is the point of me giving my "Stay alert, everyone" pep-talk if no one is listening?" "What?" "Look at this." "What are they, Hol?" "They look uncannily like something you should be very, very afraid of." " What?" " Mime artists." "The ones you get in those trendy town centres that chase you down the street and freeze when you look at them, and everyone laughs at you." "I've never seen anything like this before." "A group of men who display all the normal life signs, but seem totally incapable of movement." "Never seen QPRplay away, then?" "Tempus?" "That's Latin for time." "Latin?" "I didn't even know the Romans built spaceships." "Somehow this device appears to have caused time to freeze." "Obviously, they used it erroneously." "Where did... you come from?" "And how did... you get hold of that?" "It's some kind of tem... poral sto... rage unit." "Extraordinary!" "Hey, this could be a great device for settling arguments." "Don't mess... with that thing." "It can... really screw... ew-ew-ew... you up." "It appears to be able to digitise time and then download it and store it on a hard drive." "This pure time can then be uploaded into objects, or places." "To freeze people?" "Technically they're not frozen, ma'am, merely operating in a different time stream." "So you mean, they're moving, just incredibly slowly?" "About the same speed as the average Little Chef waitress." "That's why they don't appear to be actually doing anything." "So this device has the ability to make time come to a complete stop." "What else can it do?" "What's happened?" "Kryten, why are you so big and why do I suddenly feel like a Vimto?" "Why, you got to get me back to normal." "Do something!" "I can't go back like this." "Why not?" "You may only be three feet tall but you're both as cute as buttons." "What happened to my hair?" "And what's happened to mine?" "You look like the Turkish entry in the Eurovision Song Contest." "It seems to have restored your hair to a previous time period to the rest of you." "Compensating." "Now it's regressed your outfits to a previous time in your lives." "And you still look like the Turkish entry in the Eurovision Song Contest." "So, here's the question." "Can you unfreeze these guys but take them back in time so they have no memory of finding this?" "I think so, ma'am." "Why?" "If we can smuggle this thing back on Red Dwarf, it can make our prison terms pass in seconds." "Leave this to me." "I have an excellent place to conceal it." "(BEEPING THE GREAT ESCAPE THEME)" "Nice one, Bob." "It's not working, is it?" "Give it a bit of time to get going." "Look." "Look." " It's working on this one." " Yes!" " And here's another." " Yes." " And another." " Yes." "And another." "Fan-smegging-tastic!" "Listy, we're on our way." "They're gonna do the whole damn room in minutes." "Hey, what's happened to your sleeve, man?" " What?" " Your sleeve." "I didn't notice that before." "My God, they're eating my clothes." "Well?" "It wasn't me, sir, it was him." "He made me do it." "Judas!" "I thought we'd agreed to refuse to talk?" "Just let me blame you first, then I'll refuse to talk." "If I ever, ever see you in this office again, then you're in the hole." "Is that what you want?" " No, sir." " No, sir." "Well then, get out." "Thank you, sir." "Thank you." "You haven't been down to the Medi-Bay to get this virus off, have you?" "I probably shouldn't have shaken your hand." "That was probably a mistake." " Big mistake, sir." " I..." "We'll be going, sir." "Right now." "That's it!" "Two months!" "In the hole!" "Sir, what about me athlete's hand?" "Now!" "Straight after lunch, we zap the ship with a two-year download of time and the records will show that we've served our sentences and are free to be released." "This machine's amazing." "Do you think it could do boob jobs, too?" "Obviously, I'm just thinking about the future." " You spilled my soup." " Sorry, Baxter, non-bud." "It was an accident!" "Hot Bovril." "(STEAM HISSING)" "Look at him." "The big lug." "I'd hate to clean the bath out after him." "You'd need a sander to get rid of the tidemark and a Leaf Vac to hoover the hair." "Fix him!" "Fix him with the time wand." "Watch this." "(CHICKEN CLUCKING)" "MAN:" "Hello!" "Hey, there's someone in here with us." "Yeah, it's that bloke sitting next to you." " Who are you?" "What's your name?" " They call me Birdman." "Oh, aye?" "Why's that?" "'Cause he really likes instant custard." "Why do you think?" "This is Pete." "He's nine years old." "Which, in sparrow years, is... nine years old." "So that makes him..." "Nine?" "Nine, that's right." "You met him before, have you?" "Two months of this, God!" "(DRILLING)" "What's this?" "(BEEPING THE GREAT ESCAPE THEME)" "What happened to everyone?" "It's like they're all frozen on the spot." "Yvonne McGruder went like this when I tried to kiss her." "Hey, hey!" "This'll drive them crazy." "Hey." " Guys." " Hey." " Sirs." " Buddies." "This is Birdman." "And this is Pete." "We found this machine that can digitise time, and we can release jets of it." "And we reckon it can make our sentence pass in a nanosecond." "Hats off, sirs." "There's something wrong with Pete." " What?" " He's gone all stiff." "He must have drunk the guards' half-time juice." "Not that kind of stiff." "He's dead." "The excitement of being free has killed him." "He really loved that bird." "It was the only thing that kept him going." "I can't guarantee anything, sir, but I think the time wand could bring Pete back to life." "Make him young and strong again." "Watch." "Holy..." "Smeg!" "Where the hell did Barney's ugly brother come from?" "From Pete, sir." "Birds are descended from dinosaurs, from the theropod family." "I inadvertently reversed evolution several million years." "There's an old Cat saying which has particular relevance here." "It goes something like this..." ""We are all gonna die."" " Pete?" "Is that you, Pete?" " Birdman!" "(SNEEZES)" "Gesundheit!" "You want some seed?" "BIRDMAN:" "That's a no, then, is it?" " What now, sir?" " Follow the Rimmer-shaped blur." "(POUNDING FOOTSTEPS)" "(ROARING)" "Hey, Pete, eat me!" "Here." "Bob." "Bob, catch." "Bob!" "Bob!" "Come on, Kryten, hurry up!" "Leg-it mode, sir." "We've lost the time wand." "How the hell are we going to get rid of that thing now?" "We're finished!" "Stop yelling, man." "We gotta think our way out of this." "(PETE ROARING)" " We're finished!" " Shut up and get a grip, man." "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." "It was just I was..." " Look, I'm better now." "Can I just say one thing?" " Yeah, go on." "We're finished!" "Hol, we need some advice, mate." "We've been cornered by a T-Rex that was formerly a sparrow and the only thing that can turn it back into Woody Woodpecker is in its stomach." "What's your take on the situation?" " What do you want, the long or the short version?" " Ooh..." "long." "You're finished." "What's the short version?" "Bye." " Kryten?" " Yes, ma'am?" "How long, in the normal course of things, will it take for Pete to pass the time wand out of his system?" "Well, strangely enough, ma'am, I don't have that information in my database." "My programmers, for some insane reason, believed that dinosaur bowel movement frequency tables wouldn't be required." "Imbeciles." "Why?" "What's your suggestion?" "Well, the quicker we get the time wand back, the better, right?" "Right." "So, why don't we lure Pete into the food bay and get him to eat some roughage?" " Get a T-Rex to eat roughage?" " Yeah." "All-Bran, prunes, baked beans on toast, that sort of stuff." "We can't get Lister to eat that sort of stuff let alone a seven-ton dinosaur." "The more roughage, the quicker we get the time wand back." "Have you got any better ideas?" "Yes, I have got a better idea, actually." "I'm gonna kill myself." "(PETE ROARS)" "We've gotta keep this dinosaur business quiet or we're dead." "Keep him quiet?" "He's rampaging about the food decks making more noise than two yodelling champions on honeymoon." "Everyone on the ship will have heard him by now." "But, sir, the crew are frozen, operating on a different time stream." "Now, if we can recapture the time wand and turn Pete back into a sparrow before the freeze expires, no one need be any the wiser." "He's right." "I just listened to everything he said and I still ain't got a clue what's happening." "Right over, sir." "Come on, Mr Cat." "Right over." "Cow vindaloo?" "It's not gonna work." " Of course it's gonna work." " T-Rexes don't like curry." "They're hard, aren't they?" "Of course they like curries." "If a T-Rex was a bloke, he'd be a Geordie." "The kind of guy who wears T-shirts in the middle of winter and his nipples don't even get hard." "A seven-ton theropod is not going to eat Indian food." "They like flesh." "Preferably living, liberally coated in blood with a side order of intestines and an extra portion of blood." "A bit like the French in that respect." "We've got nothing to lose." "And if the worst comes to the worst and the dino doesn't eat it, I'll scoff it myself." "That door's not gonna hold out much longer." "If only that damn T-Rex felt like I do now, he wouldn't even need a curry." "Don't put that stuff in!" "You're gonna spoil the taste." "Here he comes." "(CRASHING)" "It's loving it." "Maybe we should have made some poppadums, gone the whole hog." "The whole hog?" "Like it wasn't hard enough getting a whole cow?" "I think he wants a lager." "(SCREECHES)" "It was a hot one, but with it being a dino I thought it could stand it." "(ROARING WILDLY)" "The time freeze on the guards must have..." "If only those buttons were more clearly marked." "The rules on dinosaurs aboard JMC mining ships are very clear." "No pets." "Am I right?" "Am I right?" " Yes, sir." " Yes, sir." "Have you any idea the damage that thing has caused?" " No, sir." " No, sir." "It has eaten our entire supply, two and a half tons, of mint-choc ice cream." "I love mint-choc ice cream and that damn dino has eaten every last bit." "We were just trying to get the time wand back, sir." "It has also eaten 400 crates of orange ice-pops and drank all the Coca-Cola." "Guess what?" " You love orange ice-pops and Coca-Cola, sir." " Coca-Cola, sir." "I love orange ice-pops and Coca-Cola." "Sir, if you could just..." "And do you know what happens when a dinosaur eats cow vindaloo and then eats two and a half tons of mint-choc ice cream followed by 400 crates of orange ice-pops and swills the whole thing down with 2,000 gallons of a popular fizzy drink?" "Do you know what happens?" "It burps?" "Oh, it burps." "And do you know what happened to the poor brave men who had the misfortune to get in the way of that burp?" "They went... phoar!" "It took out the entire platoon hurling them 20 feet across the cargo bay wall." "I hope this one, small dinosaur incident won't tarnish an otherwise flawless service record, sir." "Do you know what happens when a dinosaur eats cow vindaloo, two and a half tons of mint-choc ice cream followed by 400 crates of orange ice-pops and swills it all down with 2,000 gallons of a popular fizzy drink" "after it's burped?" "It feels sick?" "Oh, no." "It doesn't feel sick, Rimmer, it is sick." "Five of our best men nearly drowned." "Two others are in hospital, concussed by pieces of carrot the size of tree trunks." " We are really, deeply, deeply, deeply sorry, sir." " So deeply..." "Do you know what happens when a dinosaur has eaten cow vindaloo, then eats two and a half tons of mint-choc ice cream" " followed by..." " Oh, God, it didn't?" " It didn't what, Lister?" " It didn't get a diarrhoea attack, did it?" "One hundred percent correct." "And do you know what happened to the battalion that was sneaking up on the beast from behind, of which I was a proud member?" "Do you know?" " Do you know what happened?" " Got a fair idea, sir." " Yes, sir." "A fair idea, sir." " A tidal wave." "Fifteen feet high." "I will be in therapy for the rest of my life." "I've had 12 baths and three showers." "Now, do you have anything to say?" "Yes, sir." "I think you missed a bit up your left nostril, sir." "Nobody knows how to work this thing." "It is sedated in the cargo bay." "Turn it back into a sparrow." "Sir, erm... what about Bob?" "Did he show up?" "Who the hell do you think landed on my head?" "He is in repairs being oiled." "Bring back the sparrow." " And if you try anything smart, you're dead." " Yes, sir." "And, if I ever, ever, ever see you in this office again, you are finished." "See you in 10 minutes." "See you in 10 minutes" "See you in 10 minutes." "See you in 10 minutes." "See you in 10 minutes." "Did you get punishment duty, too?" "I've got to iron 800 prison smocks." "I don't understand." "Why do you get punishment duty and I get a reward?" "800." "Bliss!" "Did you see the Captain's report?" "The one lying open on his desk." "See what it said about you?" "He used the word "imbecile" four times in one sentence." "Oh, yeah?" "What were the other words in the sentence?" "Just your name and a dash." "I don't know, you make a couple of tiny mistakes, you give the Captain a virus that eats all his hair off, then you accidentally turn a sparrow into a dinosaur and you never hear the last of it." "(SIGHING) He really thinks I'm an imbecile?" "I'm finished." "I'm never going to make it into high command now." "It's just the people who know you who think you're an imbecile." "Everyone else thinks you're a moron." "He is a good Captain, though, Captain Hollister, isn't he?" "On the ball." "Quick." "Quick?" "The only time he's quick is when he's passing a salad bar." "You do admire him, though, don't you?" "Admire him?" "A man who has his own cinema pick-and-mix factory in his quarters?" "A man who has a walk-in fridge?" "Who lists as his hobbies "chewing" and "swallowing"?" "You did tell me once before, though, you do respect him, don't you?" "Respect him?" "A man whose family crest is made up of two cream buns and a profiterole?" "A man whose idea of a light snack..." "He's standing behind me, isn't he?" "Yes, he is." "I was just talking about you, sir." "I was saying what a big fat lump of blubber I think you are, and how that potato virus I contracted yesterday doesn't appear to have had any strange side effects whatsoever." "You forgot this." "You left it in my office." "Do you have any idea the damage that this could cause if it got into the wrong hands?" "Look after it!" "You're there, I know you're there, you little sod!" "Come on, out." "Out!" "There's a mouse under here." "It's been scuttling around for about 10 minutes." "It's not a mouse, ma'am, it's Archie." " Archie?" " My penis." "It must have escaped." "I'm really going to have to get my ears syringed." "You know what that sounded like to me?" "I made one." "Forget my ears, maybe my whole brain needs syringing." "You made one?" "Out of an old electron board, a loo roll, some sticky-backed plastic and an Action Man's polo neck jumper." "Kryten, why do you want one?" "It's so humiliating being posted to the women's wing just because I'm genitally challenged." "So I decided to make one like Mr Lister's." "Little rascal must have got bored jumping in and out of his hoop and made a break for it during the night." "No wonder I couldn't lure him out with a bit of cheese." "This whole thing's making sense now." "Just leave this to me, ma'am." "Here, Archie!" "Here, boy!" "(CHIRPING)" "There he is!" "(ARCHIE TWITTERING)" "Kryten, do you realise what this means?" " No, ma'am." " It means you're a real man." "It does?" "Why?" "Because now, like all men, you have absolutely no control over your penis." "I'm so proud!" "Archie, come back!" "All right, girls." "New Canary mission." " What?" " Untamed dino on the loose." "We're not going in till we know what we're doing." "That could take years." "You point that thing at yourself by mistake and you could wind up as a sperm." "Is that what you want?" "Hell, no!" "None of my suits will fit." "If that gizmo thing don't work, Captain says we gotta go in and have that T-Rex." "And we ain't using no guns." "Yeah, guns are for wusses." "It's gonna be hand-to-hand combat." "A fistfight with a T-Rex?" "Yeah, but them T-Rexes, mate, only got little arms, don't they?" "Ain't got no reach." "Yeah, I'll just pick it off." "Can't reach anything with them little arms." "That's probably why they're always a bit grumpy." " Oh, my God!" " What?" " Something's wrong." " What do you mean, man?" " Something's inside me and it wants to get out!" " Oh, my God!" "(SCREAMING)" "Help!" "(TWITTERING)" " What is it?" " I think it's Archie, sir." " It's who?" " He escaped earlier." "Probably followed us." "Must have dozed off in the Cat's pocket and just woke up." "Who the smeg is Archie?" "Oh, don't be alarmed, sir." "It's just my penis is on the loose." "(YELLING)" "We want to barney with Barney." "Don't want any sane people spoiling it." "Death or glory." "Yee-haw!" "Hang on guys, come on, wait a minute." "(GRUNTING)" "This thing is useless." "Say goodbye to your teeth." "Something's not right." "We're getting our butts kicked and it doesn't hurt." "See, look, I'm not even bleeding." "You're right." "According to this, sirs, they've put your bodies on a different time stream to the rest of you." "Let's go!" "You lost the time wand?" " We were ambushed, sir." " By whom?" "First of all by Kryten's... (RIMMER MUMBLES)" "And then we were jumped by..." "Sir." "That's it?" "Okay." "No more Mr Nice Guy, no more second chances." "You get that time wand back, you get that sparrow back, and if you step out of line one more time, one more time, you're dead!" "Do you understand?" "What was that?" "I think..." "What the hell is going on?" "The effects of the fight, they've caught up with us." "Get out of here, both of you." "Out!" "Getting that time wand back could take forever and they could zap us with it and turn us into anything." "I don't think getting it back is gonna be much of a problem." "RIMMER:" "It's gonna go wrong, isn't it?" "All I've gotta do is press "undo"" "and the time wand will retrace its steps and undo everything it's done so far." "This way we'll even get Birdman back." "Something's gonna go wrong." "It always does for us." "Will you relax?" "Birdman's boots." "Now to get the rest of him back." "Pete ate me." "He ate me!" "He must be really out of sorts." "He's never eaten me before." "Never." "Pete!" "You want some seed?" "(PETE CHIRPING)" "Now, destroy the time wand." " This machine's priceless." " Destroy it." "What are we gonna do now?" "Now rebuild the time wand." "It's absolutely priceless!" "(BABY DINOSAUR SQUEALING)" "Stop that dinosaur!" "It's gone in the lift!" "It's gone in the lift!" "Get it back." "Get it back." "That coconut milk felt great." "Oh, I'm such a wreck." "(MOANING)" "Ah!" "Oh, that's great." "There's a certain roughness about your touch that really hits the spot." "(ROARING)" "The hole, sir." "(RED DWARF THEME SONG)"