"[Mouse squeaks]" "[Penguins wenk]" "[All cheering]" "[Screeches]" "♪ Adventure Time ♪" "♪ Come on, grab your friends ♪" "♪ We'll go to very distant lands ♪" "♪ With Jake the Dog and Finn the Human ♪" "♪ The fun will never end ♪" "♪ It's Adventure Time ♪ Ripped By mstoll" "MAN:" "No-o-o-o-o-o-o!" "Get away from me, you butchers!" "Starchy, you have a cold." "The cure is right here." "Just let me..." "No!" "Starchy only takes magic!" "Oh, come on." "[Sneezes] Find me a wizard!" "Nurse Poundcake, hold Starchy while I administer the serum." " [Inhales sharply]" " What?" "Look, I'm a nurse and all, but my uncle is a magic worker, and he cured my sadness about my marriage." "[Sighs]" "Listen, all magic is is scientific principles presented like mystical hoo-doo, which is fun but it's sort of irresponsible." "I got your magic right here, okay?" "And razzle dazzle!" "Flooby-doo!" "Zamabamafoo!" "Is that a real spell?" "No, I'm making fun of spells." "Princess, you're being really disrespectful of my beliefs." "That was very close-minded!" "[Both crying]" "Starchy, I just want to help." "[Sobbing]" "All right!" "You want me to go to Wizard City and get you a cold spell?" "You still think I'm a jerk?" "All right, sit tight." " How is he?" " He's still sick." "[Both groan]" " Yo, that stinks!" "Tonight's part 3 of his graveyard secrets workshop." "Yeah, Prubs, give him the medicon." "He won't take it." "He wants me to get him a cold spell from Wizard City." " BOTH:" "Oh, okay." " That makes sense." "[Scoffs] Dude, you guys!" "Really?" "Yeah, I mean, magic's probably more natchy for your body in the long run." "[Sighs]" "Have you two been to Wizard City?" "Nope." ""Wizards only."" "Wizards don't play." "Trespassers get killed mad quick, like zap-zap." "Well, then what?" "Let's stay home." "Just kidding." "All right, meet me outside of Wizard City in your freshest wizard johns." "[Sneezes]" "H-Hurry, Princess." "FINN:" "This is it?" "Yeah, man, this is it." "Well, what's with the wall?" "Wo-o-o-o-o-o-o-op!" "What's over there?" "Nothing." "Just more mountains." "I think the wall knows we're not wizards." "But we can trick it, right?" "How do you trick a wall?" "Don't know, man." "I give up." "For reals?" "Yeah, I'm no good at this!" "Unh!" "Oof!" "That was a nice try, man." "Guys, hold up!" "I got the password from The Ice King." "Apparently, the barrier only responds to the voice of real wizards." "ICE KING:" "No way!" "I'm no rat!" "I am bound by the sacred trust of esoteric knowledge!" "BUBBLEGUM:" "Say the password, Ice King!" "ICE KING:" "You think I'll just hand you the keys to the city?" "I'd rather die." "BUBBLEGUM:" "Say the password." "ICE KING:" "Ow!" "My pinky!" "Ow." "[Sniffles] Thank you." "You know, no one has touched me in months." "Could you touch me again?" "BUBBLEGUM:" "Password!" "Now!" "ICE KING:" "Ow!" "Ohh!" "Ohh!" ""Wizards Rule!"" "The password is "wizards rule!"" "Aah" "Whoa." "Powerful magicks." "Pshh!" "It's a vocal registry rigged to a vibration modulator." "The wall's still there." "It's just the density's all wobbled." "Boo." "Um... that's what it is, Jake." "All right, what am I, then?" "This don't look like magic to you?" "It looks like a mutation." "Boring." "Yeah, right." "Just 'cause I know my shnoz..." "Look at these dopes." "Half of these spells are all working on entanglement principles." ""Entanglement" is a spell where you get trapped in tree roots, and sometimes they spike out and hook your flesh, and you got to be like, "My body is clay." "My spirit feels no pain."" "Then you chop your way out and kill the wizard!" "That's not what I meant, but whatevs." "Where's this magic shop?" "These signs are weird." "Let's ask somebody." "Hey, dudes." "Yo, where's the..." "Stand back, citizen." "Yeesh." "Okay." "Who are these guys?" "BUBBLEGUM:" "They're like the city popo or something." "Stranson Doughblow, you are guilty of impersonating a wizard, as well as purchasing magic items from Ron James' Spell Palace." "Bingo." "Wait!" "I know some coin tricks." "The sentence is..." "Whoa!" " Oh, my shrah!" " Come on." "You saw that, right?" "[Bell jingles]" "Welcome, brothers!" "Sorry about that biz outside." "Ha ha ha!" "Oh, what a silly non-magic user, right?" "All right, bros." "Ronny James got mad spells for wizards of all E.X. P.S." "No need for memorization, incantation, or hard-to-find bularoo." "Just rip one of these babies open, and you'll be like, "Ta-da!"" "We got a bottle-returns program and all that shwazaa." "So, wha-za?" "We need a spell for the cold." "Heck, yeah, brah." "I got something." "Whoof!" "This baby right here..." "right here?" "..." "This is what you want, brothers." " How's it work?" " It works by magic." "It's a spell." " Dude..." "What?" "I'm curious." "So, what's in it?" "It's my secret brew, dog." "So you want to sell me a product with no information?" "It's a cold spell." "Made from what?" "Magic." "What's the magic made out of, dingdong?" " Y'all is fakes!" " FINN:" "No, wait!" "Bam!" "[Alarm bell ringing]" "You're busted!" "Yoink!" "Aah!" "Dang." " Hey, Jake?" " What?" "Is P. B. Straight-up naked right now?" "JAKE:" "Dude, don't make me feel any more awkward than I already do!" "Dang!" "It's a dead end!" "[Whistling]" " BOTH:" "Abracadaniel!" " Huh?" "Do I know you?" "Dude, it's me..." "Finn!" "Quick, let us in!" "Oh, guys, I don't know." "That's not my place." "I just work here and I..." " Please!" " Come on, man!" " Shush!" "Come on, come on, come on, come on!" "Shoop!" "MAN:" "Yeah, when the lamb comes back, laser wizard puts him on the altar." "And then I extract his forehead, right, Bufo?" "Ooh." "Right, yeah." "That's the plan... [machinery clanks]" "What the blutt, Abracadaniel?" "!" "What part of "Secret Society" don't you understand?" "!" "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" "We don't want trouble!" "Just let us rest for a bit." "Oh, we gonna put you to rest... for good!" "[Rumbling]" "You are guilty of harboring non-magic users!" " Barrier!" " We need an exit!" "[Inhales sharply] Oh, boy." "That's what you get for asking a magician about his tricks, P. B.!" "TOGETHER:" "Ghosts of the Warp Plane, grant us passage into your realm." "Hey, guys, wait for me!" "Shush!" "Whoa!" "Receive your just punishment!" "No!" "As ruler of the Candy Kingdom," "I demand parley with the Grand Master Wizard!" "MAN:" "Princess Bubblegum!" "For shame." "And I'm very disappointed in you, Abracadaniel." "However, Princess, since you have always been a dear friend to the wizard community, just say "wizards rule"" "and you're all free to go." "Wha?" "Really?" "Mmm?" " Psst!" "Wizards rule!" " No!" "[Coughs] Oh!" "All magic is science!" "You just don't know what you're doing, so you call it magic!" "And, well, it's ridiculous." "Wizard prison!" "All of you!" "N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!" "JAKE:" "Ridiculous, huh?" "This isn't happening!" " Ho!" " Ouch!" "Would you look at that?" "Somebody better start crying into my hand." "Ugh!" "That's sick!" "PRISONER:" "You're right." "I'm so ashamed." "Ugh!" "Ouch!" "Come on!" "Move it!" "You two... in here!" "I got cells upstairs for Princess and Milkface." "[Screaming]" "I got traumatized by those underpanties." "This sucks." "Hey, let's count the days." "One." "Hey, P. B., are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm okay." "JAKE:" "Sleep tight, Princess!" "Good night." "Stupid wizards..." "JAKE:" "Two!" "P. B.!" "Over here!" "Unh!" "Whoa!" "Bubblegum, I hereby challenge you to an honorable prison stabbing to the death!" "Bring it on." "What?" "!" "Are you two crazy?" "!" "I've had it with you silly wizards!" "Fight!" "Fight!" "Fight!" "Fight!" "Fight!" "Fight!" "Jake, we have to do something." "[Both grunting]" " Raaah!" "We need to get out of this." "Yeah, we still got to heal the snuffins out of Starchy with this little baby here." "All this for a cold spell." "What the..." "ice?" "Hmm." "MAN:" "Hey, Milkface isn't dead." "Strike me down and restore my honor." "No!" "Sorry, but you have to kill him." "Otherwise, we'll kill all of yous two both." " Peebs!" "Incoming!" " What?" "It's a cold spell, not a cold spell." "Prisoner, drop that contraband magic!" " Whoa!" " Get down!" "Your magicks are powerful, P. B." "Okay." "Let's get out of here." "Poor Starchy." "All that trouble and we couldn't get any magic for him." "Hmm." "I've got an idea." "[Moaning]" "Woo-oo-oo-oo!" "Eh?" "Finally!" "Healing magic." "Oh, I can feel it!" "No!" "Rubel-dubel dingel-dongel... pffrt!" "♪ Come along with me ♪" "♪ And the butterflies and bees ♪" "♪ We can wander through the forest ♪" "♪ And do so as we please ♪" "♪ Come along with me ♪" "♪ To a cliff under a tree ♪" "FINN:" "This party is so crazy!" "Ripped By mstoll"