"I was six when I saw that everything was God, and my hair stood up." "It was on a Sunday, I remember." "My sister was only a very tiny child then, and she was drinking her milk, and all of a sudden" "I saw that she was God and the milk was God." "I mean, all she was doing was pouring God into God, if you know what I mean." "J. D. Salinger, Teddy (Nine Stories )" "GRAVEHOPPING" "Nobody sleeps..." "Nobody sleeps..." "Oh, my princess!" "My love!" "I love you very much!" "I'm so romantic..." "Let me sing to you my princess!" "and mine will be..." "Victory!" "Victory!" "Victo ry" "We're all gonna die." "I'm gonna die." "You're all gonna die." "Each of you standing here." "Even though many of you may be, deep down, quite happy to be on this side right now." "On the upper side of Mother Earth." "Or as the most formidable Australian head hunter" "Mark "Chopper" Read would have said," "Everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die first." "Even the dear departed, from whom we now bid farewell, was often in the very position that we are here today." "He stood at the edge of the grave and looked down into it thinking," "What luck that it's not me down there in that hole." "But time runs on and then it runs out." "We don't know where we come from." "We don't know where we are." "And we don't know what our purpose is." "But life runs on and then it runs out." "Mine will run out and so will yours." "Amen." "He still hasn't turned the calendar." "You still haven't turned the calendar." "You're right..." "But the other one was better." "The other one was better." "You're right..." "Doesn't go?" "No." "But that would." "Good speech today." "Relax, you've got a few days off now." "How do you know?" "The new moon's over." "Nobody'll be dying now." "Oh yeah?" "Ok." "Be cool." "Be cool." "And slam the door." "Oh, Mister Johnny!" "Uncle Pero!" "So strong." "So strong!" "Let me go." "Let me go!" "I've got a wedgy!" "Here's your cards." "How about you put them away?" "No." "My dad's coming tomorrow!" "Yeah?" " Yeah." "Are you gonna tolerate that jerk your entire life?" "My dad's not a jerk!" " He's a jerk." "If he's a jerk then you're a moron." "Fine." "Where's Ida?" "Up in her room." "Go call her." "Dinner's ready." "What's for dinner?" " And where's Dedo?" "Upstairs." "Dumplings." "I don't see any dumplings." "I just see stew." "Are you finished?" " Yeah." "Then don't play with your food please." "Come on." "I don't even feel like holding the spoon anymore." "Why are you so annoying today?" " I'm not hungry." "Then don't eat." "And don't be disrespectful about food." "Ok." "Lift it!" "Help me lift it goddamnit!" "What are you doing to him?" "!" " Leave it!" "He's fine!" "How could he be fine?" "!" "Can't you see that the wardrobe fell on the footstool?" "!" "I'm gonna kill you!" "I swear on my mother's grave..." "If you ever do anything like this again, I swear I'll kill you!" "Are you Ok?" "Say something, please!" "Are you Ok?" "But Dedo can't die..." "Nice day." "Isn't it Dedo?" "Alright." "I was actually only expecting the Mr. himself..." "But Ok." "And you are?" "His son." "I mean, he's my father." "Oh right." "We talked on the phone." "Yeah, we did." "And you?" " Neighbor." "The neighbor?" " I drove Dedo over by car." "We came together." "Right." "Ok." "So the Mrs. died how long ago?" "6 years." " 6 years." "And this condition appeared immediately or was it even more intense in the beginning?" "I don't know how to describe it." "He's been depressed... sad..." "I don't know what to call it." "Since her death, all the time..." "Usually on the weekends." "That's when it gets him." "Is he alone then?" "Or does that even matter?" "Does it make a difference if he's alone or if you engage him?" "I think it's most dangerous when he's alone." "He wouldn't succeed when he's among people." "Well, he doesn't succeed anyway." "But at least he wouldn't try." "And how many times has he tried to commit suicide?" "Many times." "When was the last time?" "Just recently." "Last week." "Thursday." "Ok." "Well, nonetheless, the Mr. and I will have to somehow be meeting together." "Alone." "Nurse?" "Monday, next week." "What's the situation?" "In the morning...?" "Monday..." "At 10:00?" "Monday at 10:00." "And if he can't speak, if he won't speak... then let's begin with him writing an essay" "Why Do I Continually Try To Commit Suicide?" "He should write this on his own, without your help or supervision." "He could also draw..." "Whatever..." "He should write what he feels." "How his loss has hurt him." "Basically, everything that he's experiencing." "And please bring it with you." "And if he won't want to write?" "Well, he'll have to do something..." "He'll have to put something on paper..." "He's got to give some sign." "Because without anything, there's nothing." "I can't just press on a button." "So this is the first thing he needs to do." "He needs to write." "If he can't talk, then he should write." "And then we'll see from there." "So the task is simple and clear." "And we meet on Monday." "Ok?" "Ok." "Good." "Is that all?" " That's all." "What do you want to do today?" "How about shooting some birds?" "Johnny?" " What?" "Bring Dedo his airgun." "Isn't today a holiday?" " Uhuh." "How about we put up the flag?" " Sure." "Where is it?" " Upstairs." "In the pantry." "In the pantry." "Here... the pellet." "What idiot screwed this on so far away?" "Oh fuck!" "Shit!" "Vilma!" "Vilma!" "What are you doing?" "!" " Go get a ladder!" "Quick!" "We don't have a ladder!" "What?" "!" "We don't have a fucking ladder!" "Then a mattress!" "Or two mattresses!" "Just quick please!" "What holiday is it today?" " What?" "What holiday is it today?" "What holiday is it...?" "Independence Day." "What's Independence Day?" "It's in commemmoration of our independence in 1991 and of our beating the Yugoslav army." "How come?" " What do you mean?" "Why did we beat the Yugoslav army?" "So that we can now live in a free Slovenia..." "Mom, uncle fell!" "Does it hurt, uncle?" "Slowly, slowly..." "This here, a little..." "Your ankle?" "I don't know what it is." "Hey!" "Hi Renata." "What happened?" "Nothing." "I just fell off the wall..." "Are you coming to our party tonight?" "It's a holiday, you know?" "Is it?" "Hey, are you sure you didn't break anything?" "It's nothing." "Will you come?" "I'll see." "Here Vilma, your milk." "Thanks." "Sure." "I've got to go now." " Bye." "See you." " Mom it hurts him!" "I can't see anything..." "Try to stand up." "Wait." "Slowly." "Watch the milk." "Come on..." "Can you do it?" "I'm Ok." "Let me go." "You think she's a good fuck?" "Who?" "Her?" "Semi..." "She doesn't scream." "Where are you going?" "To town." "What about Vilma and Johnny?" "Is it waterproof?" "It says so." "Up to 60." "Have you ever gone down to 60 meters?" "Sure." "I've been down beyond 100." "Beyond 100 meters?" "Yeah." "You know, when I worked on the oil platform." "So what's it feel like down there?" "What's it like..." "You just work..." "Not much to feel." "Except sometimes..." "I'd do something really special..." "just for myself." "During a hurricane or if the waves were big," "I'd go down to the bottom." "Where there's a peace..." "A silence..." "I'd turn the light off." "It's hard to describe." "Maybe that's what you feel before you're born." "Like in the uterus... the womb." "A warm peace..." "Ok." "I'm off." "I'll bring you the meatballs and potatoes tomorrow." "Ok." "I really like them." "Bye." "Bye." "I'm going to Trenta tomorrow!" " Really?" "Yeah!" "I'm so happy." "He invited me... our English assistant from the Faculty." "I told you about him." "Andraz." "Yeah I know." "I was so surprised, you know, he just called and said he'd be going and do I want to come along." "I'm so happy!" "I'll send you a card!" " Yeah, write..." "Have you met him yet?" "No." " No?" "Really?" "You've got to meet him!" "You'd love him." "Why?" "The guy's a real kick." "Everybody likes him!" "You'd love how he expresses himself." "Very precisely." "It'd be good for your speeches." "You could hear a new word or two..." "New and eccentric." " Like what?" "Like what?" "!" "Why so moody today?" "Nah!" "What new words?" "What's bothering you?" "No really, I'm interested." "I'd like new words for my speeches." "New words?" "You know, it's funny, if you hear someone talk like that you think, what an idiot!" "Words like... diapason, eventually..." "But it's really..." "like when someone says it the right way." "He just sits down and you think 'wow'... and then he even says just the right expression at just the right time." "It's great!" "I'll introduce you two." "Oh yeah..." "I told him that I have a friend who writes funeral speeches." "And?" "Nothing." "That's all." "It made him laugh." "He thought it was great." "And what's so funny?" "What's funny?" "How do I know what he thinks is funny." "He just thought it was bizarre." "Funeral speeches..." "So I'm bizarre?" "Come on!" "Get yourself a drink instead." "I will... schnapps." "Schnapps!" "Are you crazy?" "Eventually." "Who died anyway?" "What?" "Who died anyway?" "Oh fuck..." "Johnny!" " Slavko Leban..." "What?" "Leban." "Fucking Leban." "Leban, Leban..." "No chasing around the cemetery, Johnny!" "Ok?" "Leban." "I'll write it down..." "Where will we put him?" "Just underground?" "Where else?" "But then he'll go to hell!" " Nah." "He won't." "But hell is down and heaven is up!" "Yeah... but we just put the body underground." "Then the soul comes up through the soil, and on up to heaven." "But the soul can't just slip through the soil." "Ok, fuck it!" "So he'll go to hell!" "I really don't want to talk about it." "Ok?" "Leave me alone." "I don't wanna go to hell..." "What are you worried about?" "You think I want to go to hell?" "Just don't worry." "I don't think you want to go..." "And so here we are today, bidding our farewells to Slavko Leban..." "Man, husband, friend of people and animals." "One who spoke his mind, eye to eye." "And that's what we loved him for." "He was a man who never once in his life had to pretend who he was." "He never felt the need to use complicated words." "He was a man who never said "diapason"." "He never said "perhaps" ...or "eventually"." "Did anyone here ever hear Slavko Leban, a patriot and free spirit, ever in his life speak the word eventually?" "...Well?" "!" "You, his valiant wife, who with Slavko, helmed between Scylla and Charybdis..." "Did you ever hear Slavko Leban use the word "eventually"?" "!" "...Well?" "!" "...Well?" "!" "No." "No." "He didn't." "And he never will!" "Write about the time you climbed into the bull's fence and none of them would even attack you!" "Johnny..." "Dedo has to write about why he wants to kill himself, not about how it was." "But we all know why already." "Because Granny's gone." "And he's bored." "Right Dedo?" "I want to die because my wife is gone." "And also because I'm sad." "Well..." "This is nothing." "We've got a slight misunderstanding here." "You'll need to go deeper." "Search for the reason for your total lack of motivation in life." "Because, from what you wrote, it is impossible to understand... what's causing your condition." "Otherwise it would follow that every man who has lost a loved one would commit suicide." "And this is not so, is it?" "You'll have to find new goals, new challenges." "The person who died is not suffering... and so there's no point in our suffering." "Do we understand now?" "Sir?" "!" "Do we understand?" "Well, he basically just wrote... what he now feels and knows..." "From here on..." "we need to establish" "and this is why we're even here- some sort of communication." "And we don't know how." "I thought that you would better... know how..." "He only wrote what he knows." "Is this some sort of critique of my work?" "No!" "No!" "Far from it!" "Not at all!" "It's just probably..." "I hope I'm not interfering with your work... probably just a ...start." "From here on... things probably just need to open up ...or whatever." "I presume you'd know how to do that better." "But more from the beginning..." "I don't know about your experiences..." "#NAME?" "What we need now... is to establish a more personal contact." "Nurse, how are we Thursday morning?" "Thursday?" "1 1 :00 is still free." "Thursday at 1 1 :00." "This time... you two... will wait outside." "No problem." "Right from the start we didn't want to be in here... because the therapy is probably intended primarily for Dedo." "We'd be happy to wait outside." "But we would like to know that things are moving along." "That would be good." "Because... we've suffered a lot with his excesses... or whatever." "Ok." "Thursday at 1 1 :00." "This is a 20." "Pass me the 1 7 key." "I think this is good." "Because when he was young, he was a Partisan, and I thought I could say:" "Magayne Rudy, courier of the Karst on duty." "Yeah." "Once the Partisan courier of the Karst on duty." "Or, how would I write that he liked women, but so he wouldn't seem like a lecher." "To the ladies he was always ...a real gentleman." "No, it's stupid." "I'm gonna leave it out." "Because of his wife too." "Shortly after his airplane accident, then... he then became a bomb dismantler." "So, how should I write about how he ended up, when the bomb exploded in the garage...?" "Just to finish the speech." "Fate wanted for him to evaporate in the air and that he return to where he felt best - the sky." "Fate wanted for him to return... to the sky..." "Evaporate!" "...evaporate... yeah?" "...in the air ... and that he return to where he felt best - the sky." "... felt best - the sky." "Fate... fate wanted for him to evaporate in the air and that he return to where he felt best - the air." "The sky." "Yeah..." "The sky!" "This is good." "Hang on, this is good." "This is good." "How old was he anyway?" " He was ...84." "In the end it was all really kinda weird." "What do you mean weird?" "He just started pressing in on me." "I just wasn't really up to it." "And?" "What?" "Well...did he... touch you?" "Why should he touch me?" "Nothing happened." "He wanted something, but..." "You know how it is." "Assistants are pretty much all jerks." "Jerks..." "You can't generalize like that - that assistants are jerks." "Otherwise they wouldn't be assistants." "Yeah but... you know... it's just stupid to go on here about him." "But it really is fascinating just to hear him talk with a London accent." "He's really good at it." "I don't know..." "I'll bet there are a lot of guys in London who can talk with a London accent and it's no particular turn-on to anybody." "That was a good one." "You know what my greatest wish is?" "What?" "To die before you do." "Let's not get pathetic already, we just started drinking." "Ok?" "I don't know about pathetic." "But I do know... that I want you to speak at my funeral." "This is ridiculous." "We just started drinking." "We're young..." "and healthy." "Why talk about this stuff already?" "Listen..." "I want you to speak at my funeral." "I'm not planning on dying already." "I want us both to live beyond 100." "But then..." "I want to be buried together with my car." "And I don't want everyone wearing black..." "Let there be color!" "Variety!" "Ok." "That we can do." "Cheers!" " Cheers!" "How about another bottle?" "So?" " What?" "Do you like my office?" "Yep." "Lots of flowers." "Sure." "Comes with the job." "It's great to have space like this." "Are you afraid of death?" "...being here all the time..." "What do I know..." "I think that less and less." "I don't know..." "Death actually really bothers me." "And life bothers me too." "Are you gonna give birth to that bottle?" "!" "Just shove the cork in." "Have you seen the deaf one?" " You mean Ida?" "Is she Ida?" " If he says so, then she's Ida." "Have you ever even had a serious relationship in your life?" "Don't babble." "I was married in Germany." "For 6 years." "Do you know what 6 years is?" "What do you know about a serious relationship?" "!" "So, what happened?" "Nothing." "It all went straight to hell." "So?" "Now what?" "It was fun, wasn't it?" "Sure." "I had fun." " Me too." "We could meet up again tomorrow." " You have time tomorrow?" "Sure." "I do." "Good evening." "You've met Pero..." "haven't you?" "You have a present in the living room." "Wow!" "Aren't you going to go see what it is?" "Bye." "Pero..." "Pero, huh?" "This is what you're going to start up with now?" "I wonder why." "Really." "What for?" "To be rebellious?" "So you want a clown now." "Great." "A professional... what?" "Speaker." "A professional funeral speaker." "Jesus fuck!" "A professional funeral speaker." "What did I do to deserve this?" "You have to be a real genius ...for a profession like that!" "Is it some sort of necrophilia?" "!" "What is it?" "!" "Somebody makes money speaking at funerals." "Bravo!" "What?" " I'm moving out." "Opa!" "Where will you go?" "Huh?" "Huh?" "Have you thought of where you'll go?" "Why?" "What do you lack at home?" "Sweetie..." "What do you lack at home?" "Leave me alone." "Come and sit down." "Sit down and let's talk." "Sit." "Come." "We'll talk about it." "Sit Renata." "Come and sit." "Sit down!" "I said sit!" "Well?" "What do you lack at home?" "Tell me what." "What haven't I given you?" "Haven't I been good enough with you?" "Tell me..." "I bring you presents every day." "Like this..." "You used to like this stuff." "Look." "What do you say?" "Why are you looking at me like that?" "What do you want me to do with this?" "What..." "You'll wear it!" "Where will I wear it?" "Huh?" "Calm down!" "Calm down!" "You idiot!" "You have no clue what an ass you are!" "An ass!" "A real ass!" "Why do you even buy me this stuff?" "!" "What are you crying for now?" "Huh?" "You're all I've got." "I'm afraid for you." "Come on, Dad..." "De-dooo!" "Dedo!" " Where is he?" "Dedo!" "Get this off of him!" "Hang on!" "He forgot to tie it." " He's not a fucking idiot!" "I'll bet he made a bad knot." "I am so sick of this." "I'm really sick of this!" "Enough!" "Don't yell at Dedo." "How do you feel?" "Like shit." "I brought you a mandarin." "Do you want a sliver?" "Are you thirsty?" "I told you not to bring me mandarins!" "You know I don't like them." "And they have pits." "I won't eat the stuff." "Take it away." "Do you want me to bring you something else?" "No." "Nothing." "Just go away." "Go." "Ok." "I'll be back tomorrow." "Just go." "Would you like a mandarin?" "Goodbye." " Goodbye." "Are you still here?" "Go on." "Go." "Yaka!" "Lunch!" "Yaka?" "A minute and ten seconds." "What are you thinking about?" "What would you do for me?" "I don't know..." "Anything." "Anything..." "Then get up." "What?" "Get up." "Kneel down." "Didn't you hear?" "I said kneel." "Lick my ankle." "I said lick." "Not kiss." "More." "More." "Harder!" "Hit me harder!" "Shit." "I can't hit you more than that!" "Untie me!" "Don't you get it that I like you?" "Then beat me if you like me!" "Why?" "!" "Why?" "Jesus fuck!" "Why do I have to beat you?" "Because I like it, you idiot!" "Who did this to you?" "!" "Who do you think did it?" "Where are you going?" "Where are you going?" "!" "Out." "Come here." "Go." "One contestant is missing." "Yes." "A certain Xandros." "The most dangerous one." "How much longer will we have to wait for this plebeian?" "This is not Xandros." " Who then drives his quadrigo?" "I do not know him." "Who are you?" " My name is Maciste." "Do you know the rules of the game?" "If you want the place of Xandros, then you must state what you have to contribute." "Just one thing..." "Resia's love for Xandros will be of much advantage to us this time." "It is true." "This is impossible!" "You have won Maciste!" "You will become my groom and ruler of the people!" "This is the law of Neferer." "No punishment could be worse for my pride." "Where are you going?" "!" "Where are you going?" "!" "Don't fucking mess with me!" "You bastard!" "You dumb fuck!" "No!" "Leave him alone!" "Johnny!" "Vilma!" "Hello." "Hello." "Look at him!" "Hey Dedo!" "I brought you some slippers." "I'll go now." " Wait, wait..." "You guys, this is Adriana." "Adriana, these are my kids." "Nice to meet you." " Likewise." "I'll go now." "See you tomorrow?" " Tomorrow." "Bye." "Goodbye." " Goodbye." "Come here." "Go to Dedo." "Oh shit." "Did I hit you like that?" "Here." "I brought you some tissues." "Thanks." "Hey, Pero!" " What?" "You were right to hit me with the chair..." "No hard feelings." "Shut up!" " You did right." "Now you're all mushy!" "Dedo... did you hear him?" "He said I'm mushy!" "Good thing he didn't kill me!" "Then he'd have to write a speech for me." "Stop it, come on." "We're in a hospital." "Nobody hears us." "I'm sorry Vilma." "Does it hurt?" "Yeah." "Lunch!" "Lunch!" "Yaka?" "Yaka!" "It's difficult to accept that death is unavoidable." "More unavoidable... than the unavoidable can possibly be." "More than being born." "Not everyone is born." "But everyone dies." "Everyone." "And everything." "But I don't believe in death anymore." "There is no death." "We're all just parts of some huge... unbelievable organism..." "We don't even know what it's called... or what it's for." "And even though every one of us is only a microscopic part of this huge, insatiable animal," "each one of us feeds this holy animal with our very unrepeatableness and our uniqueness." "This gives us the right to enjoy this very millisecond and it also gives us the right to curse it." "Our Yaka has finished his performance." "He has changed into eternal peace." "We shall say our farewells, as he would have liked us to." "Let's not mourn." "Move your hand." "I told you to hold her!" "Axe!" "No!" "Hit it!" "Stop!" "Hit it!" "Let's sing something." " Like what?" "Like, "...can't you see it yet that we're like fire and ice."" "Can't you see it yet that we're like fire and ice!" "No, it doesn't go like that!" "The beginning goes like this..." "I've always known deep down inside," "I was always sure..." "I could just feel it that..." "we don't belong together." "That's what I knew..." "If something contrasts, to join is just..." "just impossible..."