"MANUELA'S LOVES" "Come with me." "Let's take the next plane." "I can't." "Not now." "I have to finish my work with Bacha." "It's that important?" "It's vital for her." "But you know that." "You'll miss your plane." "Take care now." "What's that word?" "Preservation." "I still can't read your writing." "You see?" "The worst thing for the relatives of missing persons is that they can't bury them and they can't mourn them." "Which disproves the saying 'As long as there's life there's hope'." "The survivors' lives are ruined forever." "Exactly, that's the purpose!" "Let's go, Dr. Glazman won't like it if we're late." "For vacation, how about Palermo this year?" "OK, provided you don't start an essay on the mafia!" "Up almost a pound!" "Cut down on pastry!" "The more a leg has to carry, the sooner it gets tired." "Let's get started." "How are you doing, Bacha?" "And you?" "Good." "Now 3 or 4 more." "Now rest awhile." "How's your eldest son?" "About to be a father for the 2nd time and very happy." "Now for some leg weights... and that'll be all for today." "I can't do it." "I really can't!" "What's wrong?" "3 Weeks ago, it was easy for you!" "That's enough." "We'll try next time." "Did you write it down?" "My next appointment?" "No, but I will." "For you, from Claude." "That's kind of her." "If you keep hiding her, I won't believe she even exists!" "You both tell me the same thing..." "in different ways." "We'll arrange a dinner." "She's charming, you'll see." "And get our minds off missing persons and apartheid." "Where does she live?" "She lives at a hotel." "That's her way of forgetting how poor she once was." "Sleeping at my place?" "Not tonight." "Christina's going to call me from Brussels." "Manuela!" "This is Jean-Pierre." "I went to the flea market and found nice things for your costume designs." "I'll show them to you when I see you." "Good-bye." "This is David." "I miss you very, very much." "I miss the smell of you." "Come as soon as you can." "This is David." "I miss you very, very much." "I miss the smell of you." "Come as soon as you can." "This is Jean-Pierre." "And this is Manuela." "Hello, I'm Claude." "I don't know if you can compare 'all' with 'nothing', but when you make comparisons, you make use of your judgment." "Without comparison things remain cold and unreal." "My mother exhausted me, everything was always complicated for her." "Like most people." "For most people, everything is always too complicated." "It's an absolutely magic word." "I think people are relatively simple." "We all more or less need the same things." "We're afraid of the same things, fear, hunger, cold..." "Sometimes we're cowardly, sometimes brave." "We need to love, to be loved, be warm." "One memory of my mother is very clear, she always found everything complicated!" "I wonder what she thought of the Nazi invasion, of the Polish resistance, of my arrest and deportation." "All that must have seemed terribly complicated to her!" "Why did you leave Italy?" "I don't discuss that." "But I'm curious." "And I'm secretive." "You didn't tell me she was such a charmer!" "You're not the only one to keep secrets." " How's your leg?" " So-so." "You don't mind if I sleep here?" "What's wrong?" "That's the first time in 20 years you've said that!" "Excuse me, I'm tired." "You feel depressed?" "A little." "My struggle to help that South- African writer is getting nowhere." "I know you, you'll succeed." "I hope so." "Good night." "It's because of me you didn't go with David." "Of course not." "There are things I never discuss with anyone, not even you." "While watching you and Claude this evening," "I was wishing that you were my daughters, that I had grandchildren to talk nonsense to" "and make jam for." "It's too late for me to have a kid, but Claude has every chance." "You never 'talk nonsense', you write worthwhile books." "I'm happy to be part of that." "It's late, time to sleep now." "As for David, let's just say" "I didn't love him enough..." "Sleep well." "I'm already asleep." "Paris, 1973." "Protest against torture." "We've got a telex that no one understands." "Will you translate it?" "Here's the xerox job you asked for." "Want to see other films on this subject?" "No, that's enough for today." "This one's very moving." "May I have a copy of the text?" "Yes." "Shall I send it to your address or to Bacha's?" "As you like, either one." "How did you...?" "Bacha told me you were here." "May we have coffee together?" "I have a couturière, but I'm meeting Bacha in a cafe before." "Let's have coffee there." "What's a couturière?" "The rehearsal of a play, to see if the costumes are OK." "In this case, those I designed." "I'm a great parking ticket collector!" "Your last name?" "Assoun." "Wanda wrote me and guess what?" "Those morons lock intellectuals up together in run-down sanatoriums, because the prisons are full." "Now they exchange ideas all day long." "They couldn't before." "You and your sense of humor!" "I've seen so many women go mad." "It takes very little sometimes." "We'd better go now." "She must love what you do." " My costumes?" " Yes, and your drawings... and you." "Why do you say that?" "Because it's very obvious." "Everyone on stage to see how the costumes work!" "Want to take a look?" "Got them all?" "See you later." "Oh, the red!" "It's very good!" "This one's called 'Safari'." "It exists in two colors." "300 francs plus tax." "Who'll I sell that to at that price?" "Mr. Smadja, you must admit it's attractive." "I really like what you do." "What?" "This vegetable soup?" "That too." "You believe in God?" "That question at this hour?" "Doing a survey?" "Answer me." "Like Sacha Guitry said," "I give God the benefit of the doubt." "The only attractive thing about death is the existence of God." "I'd rather not pass up such a... delightful possibility." "What I'd like is reincarnation." "If there's any chance at all for another life," "I'd like to be a little dog that sniffs garbage cans at night... a very independent dog in a sporty black and white suit with a red bow tie, very chic." "That's my ambition for an afterlife!" "I'd better do this or I'll soon give you a Wailing Wall Special!" "Not that!" "Really?" "Why not?" "That's silly, I can come for you in 10 minutes." "OK, I understand." "Get a good rest." "Don't take too many!" "Of course." "I love you too." "Bacha's not coming, she's dead tired." " But is she all right?" " I hope so." "She just wants to rest." "But then... uh..." "Excuse me, but Bacha worries me." "I'm going to see her." "Her voice didn't sound right." "I'll take you to a taxi." "Bacha?" "This is Claude." "Will you have lunch with me?" "Thanks, but they need me at Amnesty." "Some other time maybe." "Good-bye." "Hi." " Am I disturbing you?" " No, not at all." " Alone?" " Yes, I'm alone." "I really feel at home here." "Do you always live in hotels?" "Now that I can afford it, yes." "I haven't found my..." "the right address yet." "The wandering Jew." "Here's a key." "Come anytime you like." "What are you reading?" "Vera Feyder's 'Caldeiras'." "Listen to this, a letter from Nathan to Tina, the heroine." "My future can only be happiness with you or death without you." "I've seen enough to know." "The world is heading for disaster, it's inevitable." "Our love for each other is only a stone in the dam that is still holding back the raging flood." "It's 3 o'clock and you're asleep." "I'll soon join you as I will every night from now on, waking you only for the happiness of having you near." "Remember I shall love you all the more because life was so miserable for me before I met you.'" "It's very beautiful." "Give me that." "Well, you've become inseparable!" "We're way behind in our work!" "Not this evening." "Claude's teaching me the virtues of the Sabbath." "No obligation." "Let's go to the movies." "We can just make it." "Will you drive me home?" "I have to get up early." "You're beautiful." "Don't be afraid." "Don't be afraid." "With women, everything is possible." "What will I do?" "What will become of me?" "Silence is a terrible thing." "I feel every vibration." "I feel abandoned, lost in a cathedral, my ear ringing with all the music of every instrument." "My sterile womb contains only darkness, million of seconds of a clandestine life, the tears and laughter of the child I never had." "I came back from the depths of hell." "My eyes have shed oceans of tears." "They are branded with terror, the fog of night, the frozen ground and deadly barbed wire of Ravensbruck." "My great strength is deserting me." "I feel evil death approaching." "I hear its destruction." "Yet for one more night," "I survive the ghosts and the fears, just as I once endured torturing brutes who could not see the extent of our courage." "Won't anyone kill for me the chaos and dogs snarling from the depths of insane night?" "Put your head back." "You're beautiful." "Very." "I feel better now." "I need air, I want to go outside!" "Relax, there's no hurry, we'll begin when you're ready." "Not today!" "I can't, I'm too tired!" "It does no good anyway." " Fun, isn't it?" " With you, yes." "At 13, I was in love with my English teacher." "And her voice!" "I would nearly faint when she said 'sit down'." "I speak English thanks to her." "Say it in French." "I said you'll soon be a linguist like Bacha!" "Let's hurry or she'll be gone!" "Go home if you like, I can finish alone." "I really should, I can't concentrate this evening." "Torture is a fundamental violation of human rights." "It is condemned by the United Nations as an outrage to human dignity." "And it is forbidden by international law." "Yet torture persists every day all over the world." "Immediate measures must be taken to fight such degrading, inhuman cruelty" "and eliminate it completely everywhere in the world." "Can you replace me for a minute?" "I just had a phone call from Warsaw." "It's awful, but I have to tell you." "Wanda just died there in a hospital." " What's wrong?" " Her friend Wanda just died." "They were together for 4 years at Ravensbruck." "I'm sorry, I thought Manuela was playing a joke on me!" "She's not here?" "She'll be home in a minute." "She phoned from the Opera to say she was picking you up at Amnesty." "I didn't know you were living here." "Yes, Manuela said it was dumb to waste money on hotels." "I thought she told you." "Why was she at the opera?" "To talk to the director." "But I know him very well." "Why didn't she ask me?" "Did you tell her to stop asking me favors?" "Of course not." "Why do you say that?" "Manuela is vulnerable, easy to influence and changeable too!" "She decided to help me with a book, then she won't." "Maybe she does that with those she loves too." "You're old friends." "Manuela worships you." "I used to think so, but I was wrong." "That's silly, I'm sure that's not so." "Wait a second." "Shall I make you some tea?" "I've got some lemon pie for you too!" "Bacha!" "Wait for me!" "They told me about Wanda." "How dare you pronounce her name!" "Claude!" "Claude!" "Of course!" "Room for no one else!" "You had no right to slap her!" "Tell Claude to keep out of my sight!" "Don't ever mention her!" "She's a little bitch!" "First she throws herself at Stanislas!" "Now it's you!" "I didn't survive so much to go through this!" "To go through what?" "What?" "Are you the law that tells me what to do?" "You don't understand!" "What did you learn in Italy?" "You've got a kindergarten IQ!" "You don't understand." "I can't sleep or eat!" "I can't read or write!" "I can't do anything!" "I thought I had a friend and I have no one!" "'No one.'" "Are you going nuts?" "I can't bear to have you insult me like this!" "Ever since we traveled to Germany to get you that pension at last, my friendship has never wavered." "What's happening to you?" "Tell me, I beg you!" "Don't come near me!" "I should have expected this from a fascist's daughter!" "Get out!" "Go back to your dyke!" "You're enlarging your vocabulary!" "You can call me a wop too, yourself a Pollack, and Claude a kike!" "Yes, I love her." "So what?" "So you admit it!" "You're both plotting to torture me!" "That's right, to torture me!" "You're losing your mind!" "You both come to laugh at me behind my back!" "Stop!" "Stop this horrible scene!" "It's awful, I feel helpless." "What can we do?" "I don't know." "Nothing is ever easy with Bacha." "She always goes to extremes." "I want to see her!" "I can make her understand!" "We can't sit back and do nothing." " I've got to see her!" " Don't do that!" "Not yet anyway." "She even refuses to see me." "Come close to me." "I feel to blame for all this." " Maybe I ought..." " Stop it." "You're not to blame for anything." "My feelings for Bacha haven't changed." "Neither you nor anyone can ever change that." "The ones to blame are the Nazi doctors at Ravensbruck who broke the bones in her leg with a hammer," "who carved out bits of her muscles and nerves without anesthesia, and injected her body full of germs." "And as if that wasn't enough, they made here sterile at 17." "They are the ones who, for 3 years, 7 months and 22 days destroyed a human being forever." "Her and thousands like her." "I'll explain it to her, don't worry." "When are you going to Nice?" "Tomorrow." "Our love must endure." "I don't want to lose you." "Open the door, Bacha!" "I know you're here!" "Open this damn door!" "Not a word yet." "Three days now." "I'm sure she's there." "I don't know." "Yes, I promise I'll call you." "I don't know." "It's never happened before!" "Call me if she tells you anything." "This is Christina." "I'm glad it's you and not that machine I hate." "You're in Paris?" "No, I'm calling from Brussels." "Simone told me Bacha is not well." "I'm worried and so are the 'girls'." "I know, they keep calling me." "Tell me about it, I don't understand." "Her leg has been very painful lately." "Wanda's death made things worse." "And we had a row." "A row?" "What does that word mean?" "We had a quarrel, a fight." "You two?" "A fight?" "Why?" "I don't want to talk about it, Christina." "Bacha refuses to see me or listen to me." "At first she hung up on me, now she won't even answer." "That's why I'm calling you." "She wants to see you now." "You've talked to her?" "Why didn't you say so?" "I didn't really understand, she didn't say much." "They want to put her in a hospital, but she won't go." "Winters are always hard on all of us." "Let me hang up and go see Bacha." "I'll let you know how she is." "You with that girl bring the worst out in me!" "Everything's different now between us!" "Don't say it isn't!" "Wrong!" "You're absolutely wrong!" "'That girl' was your friend first!" "It's odd that a woman as intuitive as you never saw how 'cunning' she is, as you put it!" "I don't know how to say this to you, or in what language!" "I'd even say it in Polish if I could!" "Nobody, not even Claude, can change my affection for you!" "Even if I wanted to, I couldn't!" "And you'd certainly like to." "Now that's cruel." "That is killing me." "What about me?" "Don't you think it's killing me too?" "You're too old for puppy love." "I'm fed up with your interference." "I'm not your daughter." "Basta!" "Do you understand?" "Is it because I love a woman?" "Is it?" "Is that the problem?" "Can someone like you disapprove of that?" "Answer me." "I don't give a shit who you fuck!" "What can you expect from her?" "Is she the Messiah?" "You're mad, I don't know you anymore." "I don't know myself either, and that's what scares me." "Go away now, I need to rest." "I'll call a doctor so you can sleep tonight." "No, please." "I've already seen too many in my life." "Leave me alone now." "I won't do anything silly." "The injection will calm her, but she needs hospital care." "What happened?" "She's exhausted." "It'd take too long to explain." "Thanks for coming right away." "Move over or I'll hurt your leg." "Oh, my leg...!" "You have to get well now." "You have no reason not to, understand?" "When you're better, we'll talk." "Like we used to." "OK?" "I think I'm going to sleep now, at last." "But don't leave." "Please stay." "Of course." "I never did 'leave' you." "I'll pull the curtains." "Forgive me," "I thought I was strong." "I thought I had learned to cope." "I didn't realize my life centered on you." "Of all my real friends, you're the only one who didn't suffer that hell." "You kept the past from returning." "I thought I was indispensable to you." "Now, because of Claude, I see I wasn't." "When your family is gone and all your loved ones are dead," "only friendship..." "Leave the light on, it doesn't bother me." "Only friendship..." "Go ahead." "Back so soon?" "Why?" "I couldn't get any work done." "I saw your car at Bacha's." "It's freezing." "You're cold, I'll run you a bath." "Pretty soon, I'll be ready for the nuthouse too." "Is it that bad?" "Yes." "It is." "She's very weak and won't see Dr. Glazman." "She thinks she's going crazy and I am too." "The same obsessions..." "You're at the top of the list." "But she does have good moments when her mind is clear." "I'll run you a bath." "She loves you, doesn't she?" "Yes, she's very fond of me." "She's not 'fond' of you..." "She loves you." "Maybe so." "Love is always a problem... we love too much, very much or not enough at the right or wrong moment." "We always love the wrong way." "And before?" "Before me, I mean." "How did you..." "Before you?" "I loved and was loved in return." "I've laughed, I've suffered, I've lived..." "But with men, only with men." "Is that what you want to know?" "I know that... you're secretive, but I really need to know." "Sometimes I don't understand you at all." "You know the essentials, that's enough." "Details don't add or explain anything." "And Bacha?" "She's exhausted." "She has always wanted my happiness until now." "In 20 years, she's taught me a lot, given me a lot." "I love her deeply." "It's too personal and mysterious to discuss." "I'm closer to her than anyone is, even her 'ghetto' of friends who suffered in that camp with her." "I've always been there." "It's as natural for me as to breathe." "In 1945, she met a man who had been deported too and fell in love." "They lived together for years." "He was a physicist." "She was still doing translations." "They were very much in love." "Pierre Helmer was his name." "What happened to him?" "It was a stupid death." "His car skidded on ice on his way back from a convention." "Shortly after that, I met Bacha." "How can so much suffering come to one person?" "I'm not hungry." "It's good, but I'm not hungry." "I feel so old, ugly and useless." "You're not really old, but you are tired." "And you're beautiful." "One of the most beautiful faces I've ever seen." "All I wanted was your happiness." "Forgive me for all the misery I carry with me." "You must promise me... to go to see Dr. Glazman tomorrow and let him take care of you." "He has always helped you." "He'll know who to recommend." "I don't want to fight anymore now!" "I have no strength left." "Nonsense!" "We're going to keep going, you and I, with our heads high, the way you taught me." "Our heads!" "I think mine was ruined forever by the Nazis." "Why are you smiling?" "Remember during the Algerian War, when we were hiding Djamila's mother," "how scared we were and how we laughed crazy when we threw those bastards off the scent?" "Claude can come to see me whenever she wants." "Stay here." "Have you seen Bacha?" "We haven't seen her for days." "We don't understand." "She had almost succeeded in getting that South-African writer liberated." "It's a calamity." "Park it while I go see Glazman." "Let me go in alone." "Hello, Simone..." "No, I haven't seen her." "She's not here." "That's very upsetting." "Did you call the other 'girls'?" "We have to find her." "Hello, Christina?" "She's in Brussels, at Christina's." "She's in the hospital there now, very ill." "I'd better go alone." "It's best if we..." "separate for a while too." "What about me?" "Will you sacrifice me too, like David?" "I know nothing about you, I don't understand you." "I hardly dare ask what kind of tea you like." "That's a secret too, right?" "Do you get seasick, or is that also a secret?" "All I know is that..." "Bacha is recreating Ravensbruck around you, around us." "You're 44 and I'm 27, and I understand that." "I see that." "Don't talk about Bacha that way." "We can die of many things, but I won't die a fool in this poetry of devastation." "What ghosts are you running from?" "What crimes are you punishing yourself for?" "Live for yourself for once!" "Live!" "I love you, do you understand?" "What a colossal pride!" "You're not to blame for the Holocaust!" "Neither is she." "It's the only thing I can do, it's an emergency." "Right from the start, you became very precious to me." "But when those I love are in danger," "I'm all anxiety and I go to them." "You're still at an age when pleasure is enough, excessive and demanding." "Bacha and I come from another world." "I'd like to share every moment of your life." "At times, I love you with a fierce rage, other times in a gentle, friendly way." "Fortunately, I do love you." "I love you, Manuela." "Are you afraid?" "I love you, Manuela." "Are you afraid?" "Yes, I am afraid... often... afraid to hurt someone..." "afraid to be hurt... afraid I'll never have the life I desperately want with all my heart."