"A DARK-HAIRED MAN WILL CALL" " You could at least say sorry." " Sorry." " Sorry." "Some people!" " Yeah." "I said sorry." "What, me?" "Starring" "Music" "I'd never wear that." " On your head?" " Don't be stupid." " Zygmunt wants a word." " Zygmunt who?" "Zygmunt the Third!" " Drink." " I won't." " Go on, drink." " I said I won't." "The citizen in the fur hat is asked to step on the zebra." "That's the way." "Pedestrian, keep to the zebra." "No." "Notyou." "Not me?" "Right." "And here we're building a new tradition." "On an Italian license." "If you throw in a coin, you'll come back here." "Everyone got coins?" "You have?" "Go ahead." "All got coins?" "On the count of four, we throw." "And we'll all come back." "See them flying?" " Why didn't you throw?" " I don't want to come back." "Idiot." " One beer." " Didn't make much today, eh?" "Well, dammit, the license hasn't caught on yet." "Screenplay" "Photography" "Directed by" "Oh, Zygmunt." "Oh it's not you, it's Michal." " Everything packed?" " Everything." "Hello, how are you?" "How are you, indeed." " You took your time." " Children's food packed?" "Yes." "Beata, does that thing have to make a racket all day?" "Here's a dime." " Mum, Marek's kicking me." " Stop kicking and eat." "Here, it's cabbage." "Nicely warmed up." "Why did you leave your case on the stairs?" " Ah, just like Zygmunt." " It's the proofs I have to read." "Can't you put it somewhere else?" " Marcin spat in my plate!" " I'm through with this." "Families are always annoying." " Unlike blondes from Ciechocinek." " What blondes?" " The one you're always calling." " I'm not calling any," "Really?" "We've already been billed for two calls to Ciechocinek." "I'm not vindictive myself, but if I went to Ciechocinek" "I'd grab her by the curls..." "... and tear her hair out." "I've nothing better to do than ring some woman long-distance." "I'm all for modern marriage, but I wouldn't leave a man alone for two days." "Two hours even." "So what's up, Michal?" "Zygmunt?" "Oh, it's you, Kazik." "Where's Zygmunt?" " He'll be here in 10 minutes." " How do you know?" " Did he tell you?" " You'll see." "Look out, Marek." "Come on, let me see." " Hi Kazik." " Hello." "We're off." "Please hurry up." "Bye bye." "Don't forget to look after him." "Going out like that?" "Get dressed." "You want to get rheumatism?" "Get dressed this minute." "I can always get treatment in Ciechocinek." "I'll give you treatment in Ciechocinek." " I was first!" " Marek!" "Inside!" "Oh, look at him." "He's always tinkering." "What kind of car is it?" "Tinkering all the time." "Really." "Do you have to wear your best pants in the country?" " I really," " Excuse me?" " It's not you." " No, it's me." "I'm sorry, I thought it was my husband." " I must be stupid." " And I'm Kowalski." "How do you do." "Irena Kowalczyk." "We've got a Syrenka too." "I'm very sorry." " I'm sorry I can't shake hands..." " Of course!" "But I can, mine's clean." "Good morning." "I thought, yours is dirty, but mine's clean, so I can..." " I must be really stupid." " Kowalski, how do you," "Zygmunt." "Uncle's here at last." "Oh my God..." " Why'd you knock my dad over?" " Me?" "You braked." " You pushed." " What's this?" "Sending your family off on free Saturday?" "Aren't you scared to be alone?" "If it's not one thing, it's another." "We gave up last month's trip because of the same cable." "Can't you get a spare one?" "You must be stupid or something." "Kazik, I'll go crazy." "If they don't leave, I'll never get my work done for Christ's sake." "Take it easy." "I'll get the cable." "Can't get one anywhere, Zygmunt says." "Zygmunt can't." "I can." " Do your work." "Bye." " Bye." "Kazio, drop in tomorrow." " Evening." " OK." " Please don't move that." " What?" "If you give us a lift downtown, I'll fix it." " Fix what?" " You'lI see." "Good morning." " Hi." " Hi." "Oh, it's you." " Prime pork?" "Steak?" " No, no." " Got a cable?" " For what?" "Clutch for a Syrenka." "Sure, here you are." " How much?" " Forget it." " But you know, we have a problem." " What's that?" "See him, on the scales?" " Yeah." "So?" " Mixed blessing." " Just had twins." " And so?" "Where the hell do we find a double buggy?" "Wait, get a pen." "Number 84 Wolska street." "Flower shop." "Manager's Banasiak." "Just say my name, he'll fix it." " Thanks." " You're welcome." " Bye bye." " Bye bye." "Hello, hello!" "The time is 8.40." "While we wait, we'll playyou some music." "I'm sorry." "It's 8.20" "ood eening." "It's 8.53" "In a moment, the last episode of "Arizona Prairies"." "Due to the huge popularity ofthis serial we request you turn offyour TV sets to preventpower failure." "Go away, you crook." "I don't need fortune-telling." "Out." "Open up, good man." "Just look." "Oh dear." "Wait, wait." "Gypsies are fair game." "He who sees evil in others is evil himself, but he'll meet with misfortune." "But you are a good man, with wife and kids," "I'll tell you your lucky numbers:" "6, 7, 8, two 2s, two 3s, two 4s." "Bet them straight away." "Don't waste time." "Bet them on the lottery." " Why is your place dark as hell?" " Arizona prairies." "You and your loved ones will have good fortune, health." "Time to go, it must be late." "I don't know the time." "I've lost my watch." "First thing tomorrow morning a man will bring it to you." " Oh!" " What's the matter?" "Tomorrow, after sundown, a dark-haired man will call." "I see blood." " You'll kill him." " Me?" "You won't want to, but you will." " Hide him." " What?" "Don't tell anyone." "No-one will find out." " Bury him." " Me?" "No-one will find out." "At its apogee, the self-immolation ofthe western has reached a zenith." "I fully agree that the conention ofthe western has outlied itself." "And the fact that the public still watches westerns is furtherproofof perceptional inertia." "The western needs to diest itselfofits 18th century aesthetic." "Our consumer society must acquire..." " 6, 7, ... a perception ofthe 20th," " 8, or een 22nd century or 44th, it really makes little difference." "Except thatperception ofthe western" " 22, - goes ia inertia," " 33, - while its future if we could just look into a crystal ball," " 44 - the western's tomorrow..." "And tomorrow after sundown a dark-haired man will call" "and I will kill him." "And she's an idiot." "And so am I." "Hello." "I didn't ring, I knocked, because..." "I didn't want to wake you." " Bottle stolen again?" " Wrist-watch." "That too, I don't know the time." " What sort of strap?" " Brown, with a compass." "This one?" " Where was it?" " On the bottle." "You know, overdo the drink, you can put your watch round anything." "Goodbye." "Good morning, neighbors, How can I help you?" "Good morning." "We brought the radio." " Radio?" " Radio." "The one you phoned about a moment ago." " Me?" " You." "You asked us to bring you a radio." "Because you're not well." "You can't go out and you need a radio." "Must be a misunderstanding." "I've got a radio." "But you said the cable's worn out." "So," "No, please, by all means," "There you go." "There!" "You can see," "It's always like this here." "Whenever," "When one of the owners of this house calls the neighbors for a favor, he gets arrested." " Or they find a corpse in his house." " No," "He reported it himself and said" " there was a corpse." " But he borrowed a radio too." "Shame, he got a heavy sentence." " His defense was so stupid." " More than stupid." "He got himself into jail and said he couldn't help it, a Gypsy had foreseen it all." " Did a Gypsy visit you yet?" " Yes, a Gypsy woman?" "No, no Gypsy." " Yes, I asked for a radio." " You see." "Now I recall." "Thank you, sorry." "I've got a lot of work." "A colleague's waiting downstairs." "Thanks for the radio." " Goodbye, then." " Bye." "Just a moment, the radio." "Bye." "Come on." "Goodbye." "Try and get the window." "Yes!" "Like Deyna now." "You should be ashamed." " What?" " Teaching a kid things like that." " What's your problem?" "Don't play dumb." "Who broke the window?" " What window?" " What do you mean what window?" "Your son just broke my window-pane." " With what?" " A ball, that's what." " What ball?" " This ball." "I'm not stupid, I can recognize a ball." "It's there on my veranda." "It's interesting, what you say." "And what do the doctors say?" "I mean that ball," "Well, a ball's a ball." "Sorry, I'm expecting an important international call." "OK." "Now try it like Szarmach." "The results ofthe special Olympic lottery draw.." "6, 7, 8..." " 22 - 22..." " 33 - 33..." " two fours." " and 44" "Shit shit shit." "Anyone there?" "The door was open, I just wanted to check if anyone was in." "Everything's OK." "Actually, no." "I lost a whole pile of money." " You were robbed?" " No." "I could have won it." "Yeah, so could anyone else." "You lost, someone else gained." "Nature abhors a vacuum." "Excuse me." "He read the clinical report and cut out the healthy kidney." "By mistake, it turned out." " How could he have done that?" " Wasn't the doctor's fault." "He knew it was the left one, but the nurse placed the guy on his back, not face down." "So left was right, right left." " And?" " And they then had to heal the bad one, because there wasn't a good one." " Hello?" " Hello, Kazik?" "No, it's Jola." "Sorry, wrong number." "Why did you call, then?" "Why did you answer?" "Because the phone rang." "Hello, Kazik?" "No, come on Kazik, I'm being serious." "Can people, you know, tell the future?" "Depends what you mean." "Like foretelling numbers?" "That's the easiest." "I'm serious." "An exact series of numbers," "And then they're on the radio and in the press?" "It can be done, but we can't talk about it on the phone." "I'll come over." "Please don't, not today." "You've got dark hair." "Maybe I have." "So?" "Don't come, I'm not feeling well." "No, I won't be at home anyway." " But," " Can't talk on the phone." " Bye." " See you." "Take my seat, please." "No, I'll stand." "Me too, then." " What are you, scared?" " What's your problem, mister?" "Why mister?" "Wacek's the name." "What's yours?" "Leave this citizen alone." " He was just offering his seat." " There!" " Go on, sit down." " Thank you, I'll stand." " We're getting off." " No." "Resistance is of no avail." "I won't let go, if I have to die." "But you know I work here." "If it were just up to me, but you know..." "But I'm proof-reading for this publishing house." "Is it worth it?" "All that effort and they print mistakes anyway." "Yes, but different ones." "Same, different, still a mistake." "Can't let you in, sorry." "Sure." "Goodbye then." "Gather round." "Quiet, I said." "You must be quiet in a museum." "This is 1 7th-century bottle, such as used by landlords to keep their peasants drunk." "Let's move on." "Please don't touch." "This is an 1 8th century bottle in which acquavit, as vodka was known, was served." "Vodka was poured in and used to keep serfs drunk." "Onward." "Come on." "Move up, please." " Do you know what this is?" " A bottle?" "It's a stoneware bottle." "Not a glass one, is it?" " Vodka was poured in," " Vodka?" " Yes?" " In the 1 9th century." "To get the peasants drunk." "Let's move on." "Let's move on." "Faster, faster." "We've no time to lose." "Here's a bottle." "Where's the piece of paper?" "I didn't hide it, miss.." "I said, where is it?" "I didn't hide it." "I've only just come here." "So this is a bottle," "You see." "One serfdom bottle put aside for show." "Come on." "Now we'lI see a scythe-soldier." "Hurry up." "There'll be a test." "You crazy?" "I'm wet, and you've dried up." "Heather needs moisture." "What are you doing here, anyway?" "Fixed up a reading room?" "This is a museum, not a cafe-club." "An entry fee's paid here." "We get whole excursions." "Is this a hotel, or what?" "Anyone could just," "Maybe you should bring a bed along, eh?" "Go left, then down, then left, right." " You'll be OK, won't you?" " Sure." " Bye!" " Bye!" "Pani Stasiakowa, I've asked so many times for your husband to grease the locks." "Is this a museum or..." "Michal?" "Karol?" "It's just I've this urgent job." "It needs to be ready by Monday and I've nowhere to go." "So I thought, maybe," "There's the library." "It's a free Saturday." "Home?" "I can't." "Wife." "Kids." "You know." "Right." "Six o'clock?" "I'm doing an exhibit." "What do you mean?" "You need a counterweight." "On the one hand, landlords got the nation drunk." "But the healthy rump of the peasantry refused." "And one of them invented this clock." "So you invented it?" "No, I invented the peasant." "He invented the clock." "Pea-driven." "Why not?" "I can be a self-taught peasant." "But I've got to re-do it, dammit." "Why, no peas?" "Peas, no problem." "But I got the period wrong." "Hail Mary stuff." "Got to re-do it." "The requirement is a clock like this must be secular." "Clear?" "Hi!" "Oh, sorry sir, I'll wait." "No please, go ahead." " Maybe I should," " Forget it." "No." "Later, maybe," " No." "Please." " Got to go." "My plane leaves in half an hour." "Bye." " Bye." " Oh, bye." "Bye, bye." " Hey chief, last ticket." "Fifty." " How much?" "!" "American movie." "You won't regret it." "Merci." "What's going on here?" " How do you mean?" " Well, the people." "Viewers." "Well, you know." "American movie." "Andrzej," "There's a bit of a problem, I think." "No." "Everything's fine." "Not in the box office, it isn't." "I think I double-sold the 7 o'clock performance." "For which seats?" "All of them, looks like." "I'll give this job up, I think." "Can't afford to get so worked up." " Why's it so slow?" " You'lI see in a minute." " Something broke down?" " Where?" "In the engine." "You're so dumb." "If it had broken down it wouldn't be going." "It's going, so it's OK." "You just need the clutch-cable to break and it goes slow." "What?" "The clutch-cable brakes, it goes slow." "You're right" " See?" " lgnore him." "This car's made in the USA." "Can't break down." " Is it him?" " No, you kidding?" "He's the one who phoned him and said his wife was," " having an affair." " An affair." "And this idiot's roaming the mountains because he thinks his wife's having an affair with a millionaire." "What a brain you've got." "Sure." "I saw it four times, I know." "Him with his rifle in the mountains" "while they ransack his entire apartment." " No, really?" " See where he's hidden it?" "Look." "Don't tell me." " They've dragged him out, look." " No!" "You're really marvellous." "No." "Life's marvellous." "DUE TO WATER PUMP FAILURE 7pm SHOWING CANCELLED" " Free?" " Free." " Where are you going?" " 5, Sloneczna street." "I mean, where do you think you're going, getting in my taxi?" "You said you were free." "Sure." "Free Saturday, so I'm free." "Off duty." "But I'm in a hurry." "Am I stopping you?" "Yes." "Sure we can get you there." "If we can do, we can do." "I'm in a real flap, see." "There was a pilot." "Really flapped his wings." "In a flap." "In a flap." "In a flap." "Brilliant joke." "When you're behind this wheel you get all these thoughts." "I've got a knack for satire, me." "It's straight on." "No, I'll just drop in on a pal, he asked me for a reducing valve." "Go to dash, back in a flash." "What are you doing here?" " Sitting." " Who let you in?" " Been playing with the ignition?" " Me?" "Who else?" "Wacek, Wacek!" "Just a minute." " They wanted to put me off the scent." " Come again?" " So did she lay into him?" " lnto her, first." "Hey you, she said, if you're getting into a strange bed, wash your feet first." "And then she says to Rysiek:" "Get your friend a taxi." "She's obviously provincial," " liable to get lost in the city." " Right." "And then she says to Rysiek:" "you get back quick, before I regain my temper, because I'm not gonna beat you up in front of her." "Well, she may have her faults, but she's tolerant." " She is." " Yeah." "Do you still need me?" "No, no." "Paint." "Who's that?" "Curious, eh?" "Took on a varnisher, that's his girlfriend." "Does numbers." "Oh right." "Good at them, is she?" "Oh come on, her guy's a real moaner." "Everyone's a bit highly strung." "May I?" "Good morning." "Now what's up?" "Got goods straight off the production line." "Last thing I need is indicators." "I'm all over the place today." " Come back tomorrow." " Just a hundred zloty." " Tomorrow." " Hundred." " OK, fifty." " Yes, but tomorrow." "Not today." " I came all this way." " Man, I'm all over the place." " Twenty." " OK, twenty." "Ten." "OK, settle for twenty." "Tomorrow, though." "I'll remember." "I like you." " Sir," " I'm sorry." "It's after hours." " And it's a free Saturday as well." " But I just," "No justs." "I can't take any work." "Don't know, not my field." "I'm up to here in work." " But I just wanted," " Made myself clear, didn't I?" "Nothing until year's end." " I need time to eat." " Till year's end?" "Yeah." "But I came over with a guy in a blue Fiat." "Oh, right." "You should have said so at once." " Busy." "But it'll be free in a minute." " Well then, I'll," "Good grief, what are you doing here?" " What do you mean?" "ls Wanda in?" " Good grief, that Fiat needs a whole new roof." " What roof?" "What Fiat?" " Don't know." "Never mind." "A Fiat or a Warszawa, just do it," "As you want." "Whatever." "OK OK." "And Wanda?" "She's painting the number-plate for the Fiat." "Guys, let's get it over with." "Fine." "Red, or white." "Right." "You wanted painting white?" " White." "Correct." " White." "Fine." "White it is." "Go." "Go on." "You'll be the death of me." "And where would I" " find a guy to varnish my car?" " Hi." " Where've you been?" "!" " What's up?" "Wasn't long." "Five minutes." "Get in." "Who said I couldn't find some, eh?" "!" "Because of that valve of yours, I've probably been burgled by now." "No way." "Women, they're something, eh?" "A guy just drops in," "Come on, I'm in a hurry." "Have you no sense of time?" "No sense of time?" "With my experience?" "Once I was called out to repair a kitchen tap. lt went like this." "Husband's eating his supper, Wife's frying in the kitchen." "I found time to fix the tap and to, you know," "I've depended on fortune as long as I've lived." "Never had a mishap," "look at that babe, and never will have a mishap." "Hey, mister." "Take that and go." "Maggie?" "Yes, Maggie." "I'll be a bit late." "I've got a meeting." "Gentlemen, go on drinking without me." "I'm seeing white cars." "Shepherds hastened to Bethlehem" " Played the lyre for baby Jesus." " Thank you." "That'll do." "The fee's twenty zloty." "That's a 50 bill." "It'll do." "Come on Heniek, let's go." "It's me, Krepak, in a manner of speaking." " Oh it's you?" " Oh it's me." "Your brother says you're very cautious." "Whose brother?" "What brother?" "Your brother." "My brother?" "I don't have a brother." "I don't know you." "Please leave." " He described you perfectly." " Who?" "Your brother." " What do you want?" " I was going to visit you Saturday." "Meaning, today." "Evening." "Best time to deal with such business is after sundown." "Your own words." "No." "Nothing doing." "Kindly leave." "Do you realize I could murder you?" "Of course." "Please let me say something, in a manner of speaking." "First, if I may ask, do you have a glass of water?" "Water?" "Water, Oh, water!" " Thank you." " Just a minute." "There." "Secondly, why all this bull-shit?" "Why beat around the bush?" "Let's get down to business." "in-out: 10:49:23:10 10:49:25:10 I haven't the stamina any more." "You got the ones with Franklin?" "The what with Franklin?" "Please put that away immediately." "You won't tempt with that." "No, no." "Goodbye." "No murder." "Nothing doing." "Look, mister." "To be frank with you, don't try to intimidate me." "I won't let a hair fall of my head." "I'm not afraid, mister." "Unless," "I'm back in Ciechocinek tonight by the night train," "My wife will be here tomorrow morning." "Hey, hey." "Drop the blackmail." "Please leave at once or I'll call the police." "Aren't you exaggerating, perhaps?" "I'll call the police." "I can't understand you." "With this type of deal," "Will you please leave?" "Right now." "As long as I've lived I've not seen a bigger idiot." "So it was worth your while coming down from Ciechocinek." " Please leave immediately." " Mister." "I," "Out." "Wow." "I didn't kill him." "I didn't kill him." "Didn't kill him." "No." "No." "No." "Hello, hello." "I didn't kill him." "I didn't kill him." "Didn't kill him." "I didn't kill him." "Would you believe it?" "You've had second thoughts, in a manner of speaking." "Anyone there?" "Oh my God!" "Hide him, don't tell anyone No-one will know." "Bury him." "No-one will know." "Who's that?" "Me." "What are you doing here?" "And you?" " Let me tell you something." " Go on." "And at the point where I thought nothing more would happen, the light went out, he came in and then I knocked the ironware over him." "Did you tell the police?" "No, who'd believe me?" " Well, maybe one idiot would." " Who?" "Me." "You know what?" "Imagine this guy." " What guy?" "Where?" " Never mind where." "In the street." "See the street?" " I see the sea." " What?" "The kettle's boiling." "And now?" "Ah, right." "It's calm now." "Michal, please, leave it out." "Imagine this guy." " What's the deal?" "What guy?" " Whoever." " At the seaside?" " Wherever, mountains, where you want." " Right, got him." " Got him?" " He's walking along." " What's he look like?" " Typical highlander." " Good grief!" "Leave out the highlanders." "Just take a civilian." " OK, he's walking along." " He is?" "What's he look like?" " Well, he's got a red hat." " Right, right." " Wait, there's something on his face." " Right." "What?" " Kazio." " What?" "What about the highlander?" "What about him?" "Let him fall off a mountain." "Won't shift, the bastard." "Won't, there, he's fallen off." "Michal please, concentrate." "OK, OK." "Imagine this guy's not in the mountains." " So where is he?" " OK, right," "He's a neighbor of yours." " Yeah?" " Yeah." "Now listen." "This neighbor, he's a crook who's good at imitating human voices." "You've had second thoughts, in a manner of speaking." "He's pre-selected a well-off victim." "He's also chosen a second victim, who'll believe that he murdered the first victim, see?" "Be warned." "Red Hat met Krepak in Ciechocinek." " Hat, in the baths?" " Why in the baths?" "It's a spa." "Nothing else there." "OK OK, in the baths." "The crook talks him through a deal." "with a specified number of hundred-dollar bills." " How do do you know they're 1 00s?" " They're the ones with Franklin." "I wonder if the Americans know we have Warynski on our 1 00s." "Don't even think about it." "Next day your watch goes missing." "During Arizona Prairies the light goes out." "They even announced it on TV." "Precisely." "Red Hat dresses up as a gypsy woman and comes over to foretell that you'll kill a guy." "But she also foretold the watch and the lottery." " Why shouldn't he?" " Crafty bastard." "He predicted the watch and lottery so I'd believe that the predictions come true." "And the milkman found it." "But I heard the lottery numbers on the radio." "Yeah, during your row with little Deyna." "He locked the door from inside, see?" "What's the funnel for?" "Best way to pretend you're radio." "In the special Olympic lottery draw the following numbers came up.." "six" "See, at that point Red Hat knew he had you where he wanted you." "You'd be dancing to his tune." "After you'd thrown out Krepak the rest was child's play." "Oh it's you, in a manner of speaking." "Wrong door." "My brother's waiting next door, let's go." "Oh, right." "Just wait a second, I'll go and get him." "But hurry, in a manner of speaking." "So you thought it through, in a manner of speaking." "What a business." "What can we do?" "For the moment, unfortunately we can't call the police." "You moved the corpse, as the Gypsy told you to." "All the evidence is against you." "He's crafty, but we'll be even craftier." "He must slip up somewhere." "Listen, none of the neighbors knows I'm here." "So nor does Red Hat." "Give me a hand." "This is what we'll do." "I hide behind the door, you go out, switch off the light." "You go to each neighbor in turn and say; excuse me, could I use the phone, say a friend came, fell down the stairs, you need an ambulance." "Oh yes, because your phone's out of order." " Give us your bed-clothes." " Bed-clothes?" "Bed-clothes." "The murderer will hear it, he'll think he didn't kill Krepak after all." "So as soon as the wounded Krepak regains consciousness he'll tell the whole story about who set him up." "So what will the killer do then?" "I got you." "He'll try to come back" " and fix what he screwed up." " You're brilliant." "He'll come in convinced he can do what he likes since you're waiting outside for the ambulance." "Right." "Got you, clever dick." "Kazio, let go." " Hi." " Hi." "Kazio, if I call for an ambulance, it'll come." "Don't call emergency, call your own number." " Oh yes, where's my cap?" " Here." " Bye." " Bye." "Right, right." "Excuse me," "I'm sorry, but my phone's out of order." "Could I call for an ambulance from here?" "Yes, thank you, I realized I'd switched the bottles, thank you." "No, no, the telephone." "Can I phone from here?" "No need to shout." "I can't hear you anyway." " Come back when my son's here." " Son?" "He went abroad on a grant, but he's just written to say he's returning." "Young, and so talented." "Quite so." "Good evening!" "Christ, why are you shouting?" "Sorry, it's because I saw the bottle." "My phone's out of order." "Come in." " Good evening." " Good evening." "I have to get an ambulance." "You know, my friend tripped over so unluckily he stuck a knife in his back during dinner." " Knife?" "At dinner?" " Yes." " There." " Thank you." " ls that him?" " That's him." "At dinner." "Hello, is that emergency?" "If you can, try to watch how the others are behaving." "Can the injuredparty moe?" "Answer the question." "Yes, he can but he can't speak." "Yes, yes, he can move perfectly but he says he can't speak." "I mean, he's not saying anything." "Except he's saying nothing." "Yes, thank you, I'll wait." "Number 5, Sloneczna street." "Goodnight, thank you." "You know what you've got to do, don't you?" "I know." "So he was so unlucky, he stabbed himself," " Good evening." " Good evening to you." "He stabbed himself in the back." "And my phone's out of order." "May I use your phone?" " Of course." " Show the gentleman." "Over there." " Over there." "Fine, right." " There." " There, there." " Oh, right." " Over there, please." " Oh there." "We won't disturb you." " Go on, please, there's the phone." " Oh there." "Is that emergency?" "What?" "It's your secret date, I knew he'd call." "I haven't got a secret date." "Hello, emergency?" "Speak." "Pretend I'm not here." "No, no, no." "Yeah, that sort of thing." "I'd like to report that a friend called on me," "I mean, he didn't feel well, but he fell over and fell on his back." "in such an unfortunate way that he's unconscious." "I mean, so unfortunately, that he's unconscious." " That's three of them." " Shhh," "So if you could come over," "Wise guy, speaking in code." "What's the address?" "It's a friend speaking." "Number 5, Sloneczna street." "Uh-huh, Number 5, Sloneczna street." "OK." "Right." "Thank you." " Goodbye." " Goodbye." "Oh, I forgot to say I'd be waiting outside, but I think," "Outside, of course." "Less searching time." " Outside, yeah." " Yes." " Goodbye." " Goodbye." " You know what you've got to do?" " Of course." " Excuse me, but," " Come in, please." "Thank you." "Got you, clever dick." "Hands up in the air!" "Don't bother with that phone, neighbor." "What, why?" "Just take a look." "Neighbor, I'm sorry, but I've got to go." "Quite, I understand." " This yours?" " Yes." "I mean, I don't know, Yes it's mine, so what?" " So it's you then." " What about me?" "You thought this whole thing up and called Ciechocinek from here and dressed up as the Gypsy." "What's with you?" "You phoned for the radio and then pretended to be the radio." "But your hat gave you away." "You killed him." "What's with you, you crazy?" "What's your problem?" "You stole my knife and stuck it in his back." " What?" " And before that, stole the briefcase." "What?" "What do you want from me?" "Leave me alone." " Never." "I've got you, I've got you." " Let me go, you farm animal!" "In the face?" "!" "Wait." "In the face?" "!" "In the face." "In the face." "We'll probably have to call the police again." "Yeah, so they can drag us around the courts as witnesses." "We've already fulfilled one civic duty for the day." "True." "A bit late for a walk, isn't it?" " Taxi!" " Taxi!" "The drunks you get on the road," "Look, another artist." " Driving without lights." " True." "In the face." "In the face." "Face." "I go in, see, dimmed light, soft settee, she's on it, jumps up" "and says, we've met before." "I see he's a bit contrary." "So I bang him one like so." "Just remember, Rysio, anyone touches you, you've got all of Kwiatowa street and half the district behind you." "See, grandson?" "Again, it's just one working." "The rest just look on." "Granddad, I learnt a rhyme today at school." "Don't want to hear that muck." "Hoola, hoola winter gale," " Wind blows in the face." " In the face." " Two uncles, half and half," " That'll do." "Enough." "Let's go." "Where did that truck go to?" "Just a minute, I'll just explain everything." "Just a minute, one moment, Who sent you?" " I ask the questions here." " Oh it's you, sir." "We're dumping snow in the river, and we've got three places." " Siekierki, Praga" " Wola." "Why are we stopping here, chief?" "Jasio," "As an apprentice in this job you must know that the key to good work is" "first: productivity, second, well?" " Economy." " Correct." "That's right." "Well done." "Since it costs so much to buy gas," " From you?" " No." "Officially, as they call it." "9 zloty a litre," "Now multiply that by the kilometres to the river, back to base, and back again, what does that come to?" "Not now, work it out at home." "It'll be a lot." "So how do we make it less?" "Well?" "Not 'erm, '." "Well?" "Bring the river closer." "Clever thinking." "So we'lI have to dump the snow not in the river, but you know," "When the sun comes out, it'll melt the snow anyway. lt'll float down." "That's right." "Natural forces harnessed to man's needs." "See that?" "Give it a pull." " The notice fell off, did it?" " Where?" " can't you read?" " Um... well..." "God, what people." "Drives you crazy." "Write a polite notice, saying closed for delivery, but they just stand there." "What's going on there, Zocha?" "There's a notice, isn't there?" "Anyway, it's not delivery, it's stock-taking." "And why waste your breath?" "It's in black and white, we're sorry." "if the peasants don't appreciate good manners, turn the lights off." "Zocha." " He's there," " But I," " Got you." " You see," "See, I told you something broke." "Get out of here you thief, and don't show your face again." "He's some perverted swine." "Was eyeing me up from the back." " Oh yeah?" " No, madam." " In the face." " In what?" "Get out of here you felon." "For people like you, we call the police." "Oh, am I upset." " Got palpitations." " Don't get too worked up." "I wasn't really going to do him any harm." "In the face." "He's an idiot." " What the, ?" " Sorry." "I've got some info for you." "An inspector's heading this way." "He's a real bastard." "Name of Michal Roman." " I'm very grateful." " You're welcome." "You hear that?" "All the fake cognacs down the river." "No half-measures." "And pleasant service." "Right." "Excuse me, is there another exit?" "I'm afraid not." "Basically in principle there's no back way out as such." " Shit." " Wait for this ass-hole to leave." "Because you know, if he saw that I was here, you know," "I know, I know." "Just a minute, sir, you can't," " I've got to go in," " Not allowed." "Top star rating." "No tie, no jacket," "Not allowed, I said." "Good evening, sir." "Do come in." "Come in." "You're very welcome." "Good morning." "Two beers, please." "Or three, even." "There you go." "What can I get you?" "Two policemen, please." "Or three, even." "Certainly, sir." "He's looking the place over." "But he won't come direct, basically, show his id as such." "Wants to get me undercover." "But you see, son, there's still decent people on this firmament." "Come on, don't mention it." "There's two." "Or three, even." "Zilch." "And so?" "I claim" " diminished responsibility." "Police!" " What a sense of humor!" "A quick one." "Why not?" "Bastard," "Wants to check if I react." "Old trick." "Fire the manager, because he doesn't call the police when there's a brawl." "Right." "No, no, no." "Don't call." "It's not so important." " I'm sure he'll leave soon." " I know what I'm doing." "Police?" "You know Marysia, maybe I should meet your daddy." "We just dropped in for a lemonade." "Care to join us?" "." "We had this free moment, so we dropped in for an orangeade, since it's an exceptional situation, what with your daughter," " I'm Lucek." " Michal Roman." "Thank you." "Have a drink?" "Cheers." "Lieutenant, sir, I did it deliberately." "He's here in the audience." "He murdered citizen Krepak and wanted to set me up for it." "One moment, and we'll find out if you're right, citizen." " He was the murderer." " OK, we'll clear it up." " 24 to 1 25, over." " 125 reading you, oer." "What do you know about the murder of Citizen Krepak?" " Do you know the lottery numbers?" " Krepak's murderer, is Kazimierz Malinowski, detained at the prosecutor's request on proofofguilt." " Message received, thank you." " You're welcome." "Kazik's innocent." "It's the guy in the red hat who killed him." " He's talking nonsense." "Take him away!" " But come on!" "In the face!" "Well?" "Well?" "Well?" "What's this?" "I like to have a bit of cash around." " I can understand 2000." " 3000 maybe." " Three and a half." " But this?" "So, well, many apologies." "We're very sorry." "We're very grateful to you." "But basically, how did you work it out, that it was Kowalski that set you up?" "That he's the real killer?" "Because a red hat fell out of his closet." " Red hat." "So what?" " Nothing, apparently." "But a red hat, it's the sign." "A red hat is actually always a bit suspect." "Remember," "Excuse me, which of you gentlemen is Mr Michal Roman?" " It's me." "Go ahead," " My name's Liliana Krepakowa." " Ah," " I'd like to find out," " where my husband is." " Yes." "I understand the question." " Come, come." "Ask the lady in." " Come in, please." "Yes, right, right." "Please." "To the center." "Please, before you," " a quick one?" " Mhm.." "Here you go." " Nothing for me, I'm not drinking." " Here you go." " You're from Ciechocinek?" " Yes." "Anna, I'll explain it all in a minute." "See, I was hardly out of the house and you've brought in some,." " You don't care for home," " Kazik will explain." " or family." " No, no." "Or the children." "You just fix up some orgiettes." "Hey, there's an orgiette after all." "At least we aren't late." "THE END"