"You're my first customer." "Would you like to have a drink with me tonight?" "I already have a girlfriend." "I just turned 18." "I left the camp two years ago." "I'm gonna graduate from high school, I like parties and I need to have sex every day." "I listen to all kinds of music." "Hip hop and soul are my favorites." "Thanks." "Ð My favorite color is yellow, like the sun." "And I love soccer!" "Tim, this is Wolfgang." "Wolfgang, this is Tim." "Let's not beat around the bush." "Our plane leaves in two hours." "To Jamaica." "Water." "Ok ..." "I don't love you anymore." "I haven't for at least a year now." "You're ... somewhat boring." "I have to think of myself." "You can understand that, right?" "I'm still young." "I have my whole life ahead of me." "You can't seriously mean that." "Don't be sad, sweetheart." "Look at you." "All these women are gonna chase you." "In four month's time you'll easily have found someone new." "You can't break up with me just like that." "I mean, we've been together ... for so long." "Yeah, we were." "But enough is enough, don't you agree?" "I mean ... you and me, that's the past." "Claire and I are simply a better match." "I made an appointment for you." "Listen, you've got to go there." "Registration is compulsory now." "Here's the time and the room number." "Sorry!" "It's not gonna happen again." "We'd like the check please." "Ð Together or separate?" "Together." "I mean, one for him and one for us." "I love you!" "I love you!" "Did you already get in contact with your ex-girlfriends?" "They're all dead or married." "I see." "You'll find all the info you need in there." "A healthy diet, lots of exercise, little sleep, going out, having drinks." "Nobody's asking you to fall madly in love." "Take them twice a day after your meals." "They're both a libido enhancer and a strong sedative." "Any side effects?" "Your self-esteem gets a boost and your expectations get lowered." "I already got two warnings from the dating agency!" "Two!" "In five days!" "What am I gonna do now?" "I don't wanna cling to someone just so that I won't die." "Maybe the natural way would also work." "Have you been to town lately?" "People are making out like they're in a perfume commercial." "I was just stuck in a traffic jam for four hours because there had been 18 accidents." "Do you know what they call the cause of death on the radio now?" "'Driving under the influence of loneliness'!" "Only the trainees are working in the shops because everyone over forty has retired to be with their families." "Dead singles are lying around all over the place." "Why don't you move back in with us?" "Here in the countryside most people are still dying the normal way." "Last night I saw on TV that there's a bill now that'll make it illegal for couples to separate." "If only Claire had waited a bit longer, then at least I could've sued her." "Claire ..." "She was always somewhat erratic." "Well ..." "I'd like a beer now!" "How about you?" "There's a crate in the shed." "Daddy caught her just for you on the street an hour ago." "She's the youngest daughter of Farmer Jansen by the crossing." "She just got out of one of these puberty camps." "She's like Claire, blond, slim ..." "When I was your age, I had long been married." "Some women, you have to force them to find their happiness." "Exactly!" "Go to that agency!" "You're all we have!" "It's like some government agency here." "So we'll put a check next to 'humor'." "Should I tell you something about me?" "I already entered everything we need to know:" "Over 30, nice-looking, still at college, hasn't had sex with more than 3 or 4 women, no STDs ..." "Where would you get them?" "... a bit shy ..." "You're welcome to interrupt me if I got anything wrong." "... likes reading books and watching movies, faithful, timid, not very good at sports ..." "I sometimes do inline skating, when the weather's nice." "Sorry!" "Okay, get started!" "Right!" "She should be strong." "A strong woman who knows what she wants and more importantly, what she doesn't want." "And I don't like going out." "It would be nice if she wasn't interested in that either." "Blond, big boobs." "That was a joke." "Her womanly attributes aren't that important to me." "Of course it would be nice if she was slim and had good skin and stuff." "We were at 'good skin and stuff'." "Right." "She should challenge me without suffocating me and she should understand me without worrying her head about me." "Cute." "I can't enter more in there." "Deadline?" "I've got three more months left." "So it isn't a last-minute job." "That's something at least." "I usually don't like talking about my ex-boyfriends but I have this really crazy past." "One of them hurt me a lot because he couldn't handle my love." "He thought I was too submissive." "Too obedient." "A man who finds a woman to be too submissive!" "?" "!" "So I hurt him." "A lot." "So I broke up with him." "I broke up with them all." "I like breakups." "They're so ..." "like new frontiers." "And I'm crazy about having a family." "Families mean everything to me." "Families are for people who have no friends." "Careers are for those who have nothing better to do." "Love is like a small plant   which makes you housebound." "... because you have to water it all the time." "'Love' is such a weird word." "'Willing to compromise' would be a better description." "'Friends with benefits' is what my cousin calls it." "Slut!" "Most people are afraid of me because I always tell it like it is." "Right to their face." "I also have sex with women." "But not with lesbians." "They're so ... scruffy." "The other day I told a homeless person that he stank." "I always act like I am totally cool but deep inside   there's a volcano." "... I'm so vulnerable." "... and I'm open to anything." "Like a grab bag gift." "I think you're not like the others." "I can tell by your eyes." "... by your hands." "... by your shoes." "... by your hair." "Do you sometimes watch the news?" "Just one more try!" "Please!" "If you aren't more co-operative this time, you'll have to go to an adult summer camp." "In GŸtersloh." "I'm really gonna try." "Promise!" "Denise, 27, 5 ft 10 " blond, slim, good skin." "But that doesn't mean we'd be a good match." "He should challenge me without ..." "He should challenge me without suffocating me and he should understand me without worrying his head about me." "We'll let the young lady know that you're going to visit her in her apartment today." "I need you to sign this because otherwise I can't give you her data." "You also confirm hereby that you're willing to undergo counselling if you're dissatisfied again." "Do I have a choice?" "GŸtersloh?" "Yes?" "I have a date with Denise." "Is she here?" "Dennis." "Nice to meet you." "It probably was just a typo." "I'll sue that damn agency." "Give me a chance." "We'll make it work." "We both can file a complaint." "I have no reason to complain." "I'd really like to help you." "You've gotta believe me." "But I can't." "Good luck!" "Come on!" "Come with me!" "Come with me!" "Before I met you, I was a nobody." "When I'm close to you, I feel obscure   secure and safe." "Your touch makes my skin burn." "I feel hot all over." "I turn ..." "I burn with desire." "Make me pregnant." "Do it now." "Touch my thighs." "Take off my panties ..." "Sorry, but there's no way I can ..." "Could you please go on?" "Penetrate me and fulfill me." "Are you in a hurry?" "Ð You didn't answer your phone." "So we thought, why not drop by in person?" "I'm Kathrin from Perfect Match." "Nice to meet you." "This is Bruno, my colleague." "We'll work with you for the next few days." "Hello!" "We also informed your partner." "Don't worry." "You won't notice we're here." "We mostly work using CCTV." "Excuse me!" "There's no work for you here." "Got it?" "There won't be any additional charges." "We get paid by the government." "I don't give a damn about that." "But we do have a small problem." "You can monitor me all you want but I'm into women!" "Oops!" "Good morning!" "My parents got divorced six months ago." "I buried them in the garden." "Some jam?" "I made it myself." "It's cherry jam." "Will that make me gay?" "Just passive." "In that case ..." "Are we alone here?" "Don't worry." "They won't find you here." "You can stay for as long as you want." "Thank you!" "My mom had some fantastic wigs." "You know, I'm going back to bed." "No touching, okay?" "Ð Promise!" "Hello!" "My brother called me this morning." "He said it was urgent." "Right!" "He's out for a walk." "But I'm right on time." "He told me to be here at exactly this time." "Are you his partner?" "No, I'm not." "Just a friend." "Would you like something to eat?" "I've been cooking." "Yes, please." "Do you like steaks?" "I love steaks." "Do you have a boyfriend?" "No, I don't." "Are you into men?" "Yeah." "The tragic incident happened today in front of the state assembly in DŸsseldorf." "The Mandatory Marriage Act got passed today." "It takes effect immediately." "The Federal Ministry for Family Affai..." "You dumbed me and now you get to die!" "The preliminary hearing for the wife of our reporter is scheduled for tomorrow." "Experts say the increasing tendency to violence in partnerships is to blame for such atrocious crimes as this one." "They expect a downright wave of similar incidents." "In an effort to minimize the general unrest, all local radio stations will be playing nothing but love songs and animal sounds, starting tonight."