"(knocking)" "Come on, Shawn, you've lived here three weeks and you've been in the bathroom two and a half of 'em." "Hey, will you shut up?" "I'm trying to study here." "Well, I am." "Well, I'm trying to take a shower here." "Well, I am." "Almost done." "Just doing my burns." "Whoa, you shave?" "See, facial hair sprouts early in my family, especially on my mom's side." "OK, nihilism is to optimism as gluttony is to..." "Butte, Montana." "Wrong?" "Oh, no!" "Mind lock!" "Three days before the SATs and I'm never even gonna get into... you know, that place with the..." "It's got the..." " College?" " College!" "College" " I gotta write that down." "Where's my pencil?" "Where's my lucky pencil?" "Hey, is this it?" "Oh, thank you!" "Pencie, you've come back to me!" "Hey, Hunter, what the heck do you think you're doing?" "Uh, cleaning out my ears?" "Yeah, with Towelie?" "My lucky towel?" "Are you insane?" "One of us is." "All right, look, Hunter, if you're gonna live here, there's a few rules you're gonna have to follow." "Guys, guys, guys!" "Happy faces, huh?" "We can live together." "It's only temporary." "And all things considered, I think we're doing pretty darn well, huh?" "Yeah." "I think I'll get a little peace and quiet in here, huh?" "Jeez." "(yells)" "Think he just found Slippy, his lucky soap." "Morgan, ice cream is not breakfast." "Shawn says his family has sundaes for breakfast all the time." "Oh, really?" "You hear that, Amy?" "Nutritional tips from the Hunter family." "Oh, Alan, Shawn is just so..." "Morgan, wouldn't you just love to go watch TV right now?" " No." " For a buck?" " Deal." " All right, go on." "Get out of here." "You know, Amy, I like Shawn, I really do, but these past three weeks have not been the easiest." "Not on our nerves or our budget." " Well, it isn't Shawn's fault." " I don't blame him." "I blame Chet!" "What kind of father abandons his son like that?" "All this time, no phone call, no card, nothing!" "I know." "I'm just glad that Shawn has Cory and Eric to make things easier for him." "Well, pardon me, Eric, for breathing your lucky air!" "Morning, Shawn." "Would you like some breakfast?" "No, thanks." "I'll help myself." "Yeah, Dad has this saying:" ""A cup?" "Who are you trying to impress?"" "Well, then, we'll just make that your carton." "Oh, by the way, I bought you some pants." "You bought him clothes?" "Well, Alan, he can't just wear the same thing every day." "I do." "You know those jeans with all the holes in them?" "You didn't chuck them, did you?" "Oh, no, of course not!" "No, I patched them." "And to go with them..." " This is for me?" " Yeah!" "What do you think?" "Wow." "It's really... yellow." "Cool, we've got the same shirt." " Johnny." " Oh, hi." " Sorry I took off so early this morning." " Oh, that's OK." "Look, you left this at my place last night." " I know, silly." " Leave it in the bag, please." "Why?" "I've got others." "You can keep this at your place." "I wouldn't know where to put it." "You don't have to get scared every time I leave something at your place." "I am not scared." "I'd be scared if I started wearing it." "Katherine." "Jonathan." "Are you brown-bagging it?" "I thought we were having lunch." "Actually, George, it's mine." "Yeah." "And not exactly lunch." "Then what is it?" "Ah." "I'm thinking a change of subject is in order." "Enjoy your lunch." "Shawn, is that the new shirt my mom gave you?" "Yeah." "Looks all right now, huh?" "Do you know what she's gonna do when she sees that?" "My guess is - clean it, sew it back together, and put an "S" on it." "Look, she's just trying to be nice to you." "And I'm just trying to get through this thing without making any waves." "Matthews, how's it working out with Hunter?" "Terrific." "Great." "I mean, we're best friends." "Listen, if anything comes up, the offer stands." "You call me at home any time you need to." "OK?" "Giving your home number to students?" "Come on, George." "Hunter's going through a tough time, and I'm his teacher." "Yes, you're his teacher, and only his teacher." " You'd do well to remember that." " Hold on." "You're always getting involved with the Matthews kids." "Eric, locker!" "An unfortunate consequence of living next door." "Come on, come on, come on." "How long does it take to score a practice SAT exam?" "All right, all right, all right." "Here it comes." "Your score is... 190." "What?" "!" "Oh, come on, that's impossible." "You get 200 points just for signing your name." "Two Ts in Matthews!" "Stupid, stupid!" "Eric, get some sleep." "You've been up for days." "Your scores keep falling." "At this rate, you couldn't get into Clown College." "Is that a four-year school?" " Your brain needs a break." " No, no, no, no." "Brain doesn't need break." "Brain needs oxygen." "See, there's just not enough oxygen in here." "But there's some outside, though!" "(sighs) Oxygen." "Good ol' H2O." "I feel smarter already." "Do I look smarter?" "Has your house been tested for radon?" "Not another test!" "I'm going home." "Well, fine." "That's more air for me!" "So, Mr. Matthews." "SATs this Saturday, hm?" "Yeah, me too." "You know, all students feel anxiety going into their college boards." "But there's no way around it." "They're very important." "Mr. Feeny, I'm not ready." "Eric, I once promised that I would never reveal this to any student, but there are three secrets to scoring well on the SAT." "Secrets that would unravel the entire college screening process as we know it." "Tell me!" "Perhaps I will." "For a price." " Mr. Feeny, you sly dog." " No, no, no, no." "I'm doing a little landscaping around my house - laying down sod, planting a tree or... nine." " If you would help me..." " You'd tell me what the secrets were?" " Shh." " Oh, shh." " (dog barking)" " What's with that dog?" "Shawn?" "It's a very cool dog." "I see it down by the corner." "No leash, no collar... just having a great time barking at the moon." "No, wait." "I know that dog." "It's a stray." "It's probably barking 'cause he doesn't have a home." "He doesn't need a home." "That's what he's saying - "I need a home."" "No, you didn't hear him right." "He's happy out there because he's free." "No one's rubbing his nose in a carpet and saying, "Don't do that!"" "You know, he looks lonely to me." "And cold." "And he looks like he doesn't have a friend in the world." " He's got one now." " Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." " What are you doing?" " I got to get out." "You can't go out." "It's a school night." "We have a 9:00 curfew." "I don't do curfews, I don't do bedtimes, and if I want to clip my toenails at the dinner table," "I don't appreciate all the dirty looks." "We were just covering our food." "All right, look, Shawn, my parents make the rules around here, OK?" "I didn't ask to live here, man, and I don't need to ask your permission to leave." "What do you think I'm supposed to tell my parents?" "(dog continues barking)" "Tell them I took myself out for a walk." "You know, I could look into your eyes forever." "Does that mean you wanna marry me?" "Wait, you got that from that?" " Well, what does it mean, then?" " Nice eyes." "Jonathan, we've been together now for four months." " And I need to know, do you love me?" " OK." "Uh..." "If by that, do you mean, am I always happy to see you?" "Do I enjoy being with you?" "Do we always have fun together?" "Then, yes, love." " Jonathan." " Yeah?" "Listen to me." "You are a good, gentle man." "And I could spend the rest of my life with you and have children with you and know they will always be taken care of." "When you hold me, I feel safe." "Now, if you can't say the same to me with the same feeling, then don't let me give any more of my heart to you." "Go." "Kat, I-I-I just..." "You take a compliment worse than any woman I've ever met!" "Jonathan, you're the same age as I am." "Don't you feel like you need a commitment in your life?" " Yes, I do." " Well, then, what are you waiting for?" "(knock on door)" "Hunter, look, this really isn't a good time." "You're telling me." "He's a cop." "You Jonathan Turner?" "You know this kid?" "Yeah, Shawn Hunter." "I'm his teacher at John Adams High." "Officer, you wanna tell me what this is all about?" "We spotted your friend here loitering outside the high school with some older kids." " They had about 20 of these." " Spray paint?" "Looks like they were planning to do some redecorating." "No, no, no." "We were just gonna sell them to some bad kids." "And overcharge them." "Serves them right." "This one takes off down an alley." "We caught up with him outside your place." "Says he's staying with you." "Yeah, yeah, he's staying with me." "His folks are out of town." "Got called out of town to save a baby girl in East Virginia who fell down a blowhole, just like I told you." "Look, officer, I'm sorry." "I thought he was in his room." "If you wanna do your friend a favor, keep him in the house." "Sorry to bother you, Mrs. Turner." "Mrs. Turner?" "Hey, congratulations." "No, Shawn, it's still Miss Tompkins." "Good night, Kat." "Good luck, Jonathan." "Stay!" " Well, how come she got to go?" " Because I got more to say to you." "A little girl who fell down a blowhole?" " Wow." " Yeah." "Thanks for covering for me." "Cory's folks would've freaked if I showed up with that cop." "Oh, like this?" "Would they have yelled at you like this?" "Yeah, that's pretty good." "Would they have told you how stupid you are for being out so late?" " OK, I get your point." " No, I don't think you do!" "Fine, then I'll just get out of your way." "I thought you were cooler than that." "No, no, I'm not cool at all." "In fact, I get real old-fashioned when I see somebody that I care about being brought home by cops!" "Mr. Turner, do you have to yell?" "I've had a really rotten night." "Oh, do you see me ballroom-dancing here?" "Look, is this gonna take all night?" "'Cause I got places to be, man." "Hunter, you keep heading down this life track you're on, then the places you're going aren't any places you're gonna wanna be, man." "Look, I'm sorry I messed up your night." "Aw, I already messed it up before you got here." "Yeah, women." " What do you know about women?" " What do you wanna know?" "Oh, you think you can help me out, Hunter?" "Hey, you helped me." "Now, see, why can't you be this sharp in my class?" "Math's not my best subject." "I'm your English teacher." "Then why are you teaching math?" "Are you kidding me?" "Guys, breakfast." "Hey, Cor, where's Shawn?" "I'm sorry." "Who?" "Oh, Shawn, your best bud, the guy you're sharing your room with." "Oh, Shawn." "Yeah, he took off real early." "Like 9:00 last night?" "Well, I wasn't looking at my watch, but do you two just know everything all the time?" "No, but right now, I do know that Shawn is our responsibility." "But, Dad, Shawn needs space." "He's like a wild dog doing wild-dog things." "You had to be there." "Jonathan, thank you for the phone call." "Let us know what's going on in our own house." " Hey, where were you last night?" " I was at Turner's." "Would you relax?" "Cory and Shawn, upstairs - now!" "First Shawn sneaks out, now Cory's lying to us." "When I told Chet I'd take Shawn in, I didn't mean forever." "When's the last time anybody heard from him?" "When he backed out the driveway, hit our trash can and says," ""It's OK, I'm all right."" "Hey, Dad, where do we keep our wWeed Whacker?" "Wait, wait, wait." "Feeny's got you whacking weeds now?" "He's helping Eric prepare for the college boards." "No, it's all right, Dad." "I got Feeny right where I want him." "He promised to tell me three secrets to SAT success." "Eric, I can see the weeds growing before my eyes!" "And you still have the hedges to trim!" "Right in the palm of my hand." "You know, it's not that Shawn is actually a bad kid, you know." " (phone ringing)" " Machine will get it." "Go on." "I know how easy it is to act up when your family just isn't there for you." "Amy, Alan?" "Chet Hunter here." "Was that the beep or is this thing tapped?" "Wait, wait, Chet, wait." "Hi." "It's Amy." "Oh." "Hey, you sound out of breath there, dear." "Did I interrupt something?" "Listen, Chet, where are you?" "It's been three weeks." "Well, if the license tags are any indication," "I'm either leaving Ohio or coming into Georgia." "Well, that doesn't sound anywhere near Philadelphia." "No, it's a..." "Ew, road kill, porcupine." "How'd he not see that coming?" "Chet, have you found your wife yet?" "Nope, but I found the motor home, though." "Seems like my Virna traded in on a '92 Miata." "Nice car, but I don't think three people can live in it." "Listen, Chet, don't you think it's time you came back here?" "Took some responsibility for your son?" "Well, I wish I could, but unfortunately," "I don't think I'm gonna be too much good to anybody till I find my Virna and win her back." "Oh." "Thought I left it on the table." "Chet, Shawn is having a very hard time." "And besides, we've got three kids of our own." "Alan." "We'll manage." "I don't think it's fair to Shawn or to us to live with this kind of open-ended commitment." "Look, Al, the boy needs somebody, OK?" "Now, don't hang me up here." "If you're not coming back right now, then you be the one to tell your son." " Oh, I just did." " Huh?" "Well, if I know my boy, even money, when adults are talking about him, he's probably somewhere behind 'em, listening." "Hi, there, big guy." "None of you want me." "Well, that's fine!" "I don't need any of you!" "I never needed anybody!" " Shawn, it's not that we don't want you." " Shawn." "(Amy) Come on, Shawn!" "Shawn, unlock the door." "We know you're in there!" "(Alan) Shawn!" "Fall down a blowhole, did you?" "I'm not in class." "I don't have to listen to you." " Where are you gonna run now?" " What do you care?" "I was beginning to think I didn't care about anything." "Yeah, fine, whatever." "I got to go." "Yeah, I know." "I've been there." "Someone reaches out to you and says they care about you, it's easy to run." "I'm sure you got a lot of big emotional problems to work through here, but I just need to find a place to sleep, OK?" "I'll do you one better." "How about I give you a home?" " What, your place?" " Yeah, my place." "For how long?" "Three weeks and then you get sick of me?" "Oh, I'm sick of you now, Hunter, but I'm still making the offer." "Why?" "'Cause I'm thinking I should do something for somebody else." "I think I need that." "You're not gonna tell me what to do." " Somebody's gotta." " You're not my dad!" "I'm not trying to be!" "Look, I'm just offering you a roof and a window to crawl out of." "Although it is five stories up." " I like a challenge." " So do I." "Oh, gosh!" "Look, I'm gonna go square things with your dad." "'Cause that is what the responsible adult-type would do." " So you're moving in with Turner, huh?" " You were listening?" "Well, I was snagged up there for awhile." "I had to wait till a squirrel lost interest." "Yeah." "You know, Cory, your folks are great and all, but this seems right." "Yeah, I think so." "But you know what this means, don't you?" "I mean, you're not a stray anymore." "Yeah." "So, what's it like to be a housebroken dog?" "It's not so bad." "I mean, you get your meals regular, you get your own chew toy, and if you bring in the paper, they are so thrilled." "What if I hate it?" "I'll have my mom and dad put in a doggy door for ya." " Just leave a window open." " You got it." "All right, Mr. Feeny." "I have been planting and hedging and mowing for three days now." "The SATs are tomorrow, and I demand to know the three secrets." " Get a good night's sleep." " What?" "No, no, no, no." "No way." "Not until you tell me what the three secrets are." "I just told you one, Eric." "Sleep." "Sleep?" "I can't sleep." "The test is tomorrow and I haven't thought about it in days!" "Which is secret number two - clear your mind." "Care to take a guess at what secret number three is?" "You're Satan?" "How could you do this to me, Mr. Feeny?" "Eric, do you know what SAT means?" "Sat?" "Scholastic Aptitude Test." "It measures what's up here." "Your natural ability to learn." "So, clear your mind, get some sleep, and trust yourself." "Those are the three secrets?" "Thank you, Mr. Feeny." "I feel better already." "Whoa!" "Where are you going?" "There's still the matter of pruning my azaleas." "The azaleas." "Of course!" "I'll take care of that now." "Psych!" "See, you already told me what the three secrets were." " Thanks, Mr. Feeny." " Did I say three?" "Psych!"