"It is not true, although culture claims the opposite, that the only purpose of sex is procreation." "It also serves to give pleasure." "And nature, which is wiser than culture, in order to encourage people to procreate, has linked this duty to sexual pleasure." "Without it, it is practically impossible to fulfil the first." "TINTO BRASS Presents" "The Ladybird" "The towel is the blue one, do you remember?" "Yes, yes, thank you." "Take your time, as if you were at your place." "If you need anything, just call me." "No, thank you." "If only I'd thought about it." "I should have left a girlie magazine in the bathroom." "Well, maybe I'll find one..." "Let's see." "What do I have here - Bella, Tutto Uncinetto, I don't think so." "What about this one, "Io Vorrei Essere Là" by Giandomenico Curi." "No." "Mani Di Fata..." "Well, maybe Amica." "Would a magazine like Amica help?" "Amica?" "What is it?" "No, thank you." "Fair enough." "What would he do with a magazine like that?" "Although it contains some nice adverts of women in underwear." "Let's have a look." "I can't do it like that." "I can't do it like that." "Well, is there anything else I can do?" " I don't think so." " Sorry for asking such a stupid thing." " May I?" " Please." "They made it grey." "But why?" "Tell me that." "I wouldn't know." " You see, madam..." " Call me Livia." "Well, Livia, you see, I am a painter." "I'm not famous." "I just get by." "But for me, colours are everything." "Colours are life." "I live by colours." "Every situation has its colour." "This grey gets me down." "That's it." "I'm sorry." "Who says a sperm container should not be coloured?" "Why can't they be red, pink, fuchsia?" "Fuchsia would be perfect." "You might be right." " The shape could be different." " Sorry?" "Well, because of its use, it could have a shape a little bit more..." " Let's not exaggerate." " No, I meant something more appropriate." "Let's face it, it looks like a rubbish bin." "ln miniature." "Sorry, it was a stupid thing to say." "I didn't mean it." "Look, your husband hasn't arrived yet." "Maybe I'll give it another try." "It's impossible." "I was happy to accept your husband's invitation to visit you, to chat, have a drink together." "But I had no idea I would have to do this "thing" here, in your house." " What if we paint it?" " Paint what?" " Well, this, of course." " Paint the container?" " lt might help you." " Come off it." "You said that everything has its colour." "I was referring to paintings, not little dustbins." " You said grey gets you down." " I was speaking figuratively." "Imagine if I paint this thing hoping that somehow...maybe..." "I feel stupid." "Come on, lighten up." "Just do it for fun." "I should have a paintbox, I bought it for my niece but she left it here." "I guess she's not into painting." "Here, they're new." "Now express yourself, choose a colour - red, pink, fuchsia, polka dots." " Do you like green?" " Yes, but you are the one who has to..." "Bright green is perfect." "Why don't you draw a lush green landscape?" " Why don't I put Santa in as well?" " Hey!" "Just kidding." "But why not, if you like it?" "Draw a ladybird, or rather two." " Ladybirds?" " They're aphrodisiac." " Ladybirds?" " Yes." "I didn't know either." "I read it somewhere, I don't remember now." "They must have done some experiments, some tests." " Here!" " You don't like green?" " I don't like the whole idea." " Did I offend..." "Well, yes." "You think that ladybirds can turn me on?" " Why not?" " Excuse me, but I didn't imagined myself in the bathroom looking at ladybirds." "Your husband went to get a Cuba libre and disappeared." "I've had enough." "I don't understand anything any more." "I don't need a Cuba libre and I don't need ladybirds!" "Then you tell me what you want!" "I don't know, a certain ambience, a certain kind of music." "I was hoping not to use it." " Will this work?" " lt always has." "Shall I put the stereo in the bathroom?" "No, just turn the volume up." "Can I start the music?" "Just a moment." "OK, play it." "B!" "Side B!" "Side B. Oh, no!" "G YPSY WOMEN" "ls it working?" "ls it working?" "Are you getting anywhere?" "If you'd help me, instead of asking questions." "Do you want me to turn the volume up?" "Why don't you try to move like Kim Basinger?" "Well, then I have to be in the kitchen." "No, it's fine where you are." "I'll look through the keyhole." "How's it going?" "Ah, my husband." "Sorry for interrupting your party, miss." "We wanted to leave you a copy of our publication, The Tower Of Jesus." "We are Jehovah's Witnesses." "I'm sorry, but I'm busy, and I can't waste my time." "We'll come back when she's less busy." "She seemed a bit aroused." "Let's go downstairs." "So, is everything all right?" "You made it." "White smoke signal." "No." "Then I turn the music off." "Yes, I think so." " And now what do we do?" " When I draw..." "What happens?" "I get aroused." "It's a different kind of excitement, an artistic excitement." "Why didn't you tell me before?" "Come on, draw." " lt was just an example." " Well, if it works..." " I didn't..." " Let's not waste time." "You never know." "I can't guarantee anything." "I'm not a sperm expert." "That's obvious, otherwise you wouldn't need all this help." "I don't need any help." "Normally I have great..." "I perfectly understand." "I told my husband it wasn't a good idea." "It's not so easy to let yourself go in front of a stranger." "And to be honest, to meet my sperm donor personally, well, it embarrassed me a little... even if I seem relaxed." "I'm almost there." "I don't want to tempt fate, but I think I'll give it a try." " The container!" " Thanks." " Good luck." " Thank you!" "So?" "Is it a white smoke signal?" "No, black." "I can't believe it." "There must be a way!" " I don't know what else to do." " There must be a way to make you co... to fill up the container." " Veronique." " Is she your girlfriend?" "No, but she could make it happen." "Sorry, I don't follow." " She is a 166." " A 166." "You mean a chatline girl." "Brilliant idea." "Why didn't you tell me before?" "Call her." "I can't." "She doesn't start till midnight." "What if I give it a go?" "You?" "But do you know how to do it?" "Well, I learnt one or two tricks from the TV." "Here." "Follow me." "Hello, what's your name?" "My name is Ilario." "At last, I missed you so much." "Where are you?" "I can't tell you." "Are you ready for another wild night?" "Are you holding it?" "Let me guide you." "I'll take care of everything." "You just relax." "I'll do everything." "Close your eyes." "Relax." "Just think of me." "I am completely naked on this huge bed." "And I'll make you fly." "It's a real pity you're not here with me." "I'm wearing a pair of stockings which I'm sure you'd like." "Let me hear your voice, come on." "Come on, naughty boy, are you touching yourself?" "I know you are." "Tell me where you are." "Where are you?" "I'm here." "Well?" "I can't." "Never mind." "I told my husband it wouldn't work." "Maybe it's my fault too." "No, it is not your fault." "So much has happened today. lt's been hell." "It's like having a switch going on and off, on and off." "I just hope it doesn't go haywire." "Here we go again." "It's switching on." "I don't know what to do." "I'm scared." "Help me." "Do it there." "Do it on the armchair." " How?" " You said the bathroom depresses you." " I can't do it in front of you." " I won't look." "Just go for it." "You are crazy and I am even crazier." "Don't lose concentration." "I'm not!" " I can't do it." "I just can't." " Let me do it." " What are you doing?" " War is war." " What if your husband comes back?" " He's in Cuba. lt's a matter of principle." " Can I get the container?" " Please." "Was it so difficult?" " It fell down." " I can see it." " Follow me." " Do you think it's a switch?" "Just follow me." "Don't lose concentration." " I'm not." " Yes, you are, I can tell." "I can't open it." "I need my strength down there." " Here we are." " Yes, but down here you are not ready." " What are you doing?" " I'm helping myself." " You hold the container." " OK." " It fell again." " I can see it." " Will you pick it up?" " Yes." "Excuse me." "Here we go." "Careful." "Now!" "Come on." "We are almost there." " Yes, I can feel it." " Come on, come on!" "The flesh is weak." "Even for those who deny it." "When you least expect it, a tiny opportunity is enough to expose the undeniable truth." "Seeing is believing." "TINTO BRASS presents" "CHIROPRACTIC SURGERY" "Hello?" "Yes?" "All right." "No worries, it's not a problem." "Doctor Murolo, I am sorry." "I never heard you come in." "Sorry, I was taking a pee." " The 4:15pm has cancelled." " That makes three." " Three?" " Cancelled appointments today." " Who's left?" " The 5:30pm." "Hold My Wrists Tight" "Blessed are thou amongst women, and blessed is..." "Hail Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now..." "..thou amongst women." "Hail Mary, full of grace." "The Lord is with thee." "Blessed are thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus." "Hail Mary, Mother of God, pray for us..." "Miss, stop that terrible noise!" "Miss, stop that terrible noise!" "Fuck off!" " Yes?" " I have an appointment with Doctor Murolo." "5:30pm." "OK." "Goodbye." "Good morning." "Doctor Murolo is expecting you." " Good morning." " Good morning." "I have studied your problem." "I think I might be able to help you." "Do you believe in miracles?" "Yes." "I don't." "We only follow the rule of the nerve." "You'll see, with some careful and delicate manipulating, we shall correct this slight misplacement of the cervical vertebrae." "Miss, could you please look for something quieter to do?" "You can get undressed." " Excuse me?" " Not you!" "Headaches and dizziness will disappear." "I shall need your cooperation." "In what way?" "It seems like your problem is more of a functional rather than an organic nature." "I don't understand." "Your problem can be traced back to a bad habit." "To posture." "Do you spend most of your day sitting down?" "No, mainly on my knees." "Don't be scared." "Lay down here." "Cold hands?" "Very Fast Copy Service?" "Good morning." "Could you send a technician right away?" "No, it's a delicate matter." "Very delicate." "You must relax if you want my intervention." "Let yourself go totally." "Rotate your body slightly." " Who are you?" "Are you new?" " Yes." "Can I trust you?" "Of course." " Have I hurt you?" " No." "Good." "Let's move to the static-dynamic bed." "I was almost breaking my nail to pull that piece of paper out." "Do what I do." "Keep them short." "It's much more practical." "Give it to me!" "¶ Hold tight my wrist" "¶ Within your hands" "¶ And listen with your eyes closed" "¶ This is my song" "¶ Please pick up our love, don't leave it" "¶ For a smile I can give it to you" "¶ Hold my wrists tight" "¶ Within your hands" "¶ Even with my eyes closed" "¶ I'll know if you love me ?" "What is it?" "Is it the first time you've seen one?" "I mean that stuff hanging out." "In this practice, afternoons can be very boring." "Someone could come." "It's fun, don't you think?" "What are you doing?" "Don't stop now!" "That's enough." "That's enough, please." " Stop, please." "Stop." " What!" "No, go ahead." "It's because I don't understand." "Quiet." "Shut up!" "Doctor Murolo, is there something wrong?" "Everything...under control...thanks." "Now, get dressed." "Are you feeling all right?" "Are you all right?" "Satisfied?" "Are you feeling better now?" "Oh, yes." "Doctor Murolo is a real angel." " See you on Monday, then." " See you Monday, yes." " Sister?" " Yes?" " See you soon." " See you soon." "To be someone who censors other people's behaviour often masks your own sexual frustration and this a proven fact." "In the same way, it is widely accepted that having sex in a playful and relaxed way often reveals a free, happy and open-minded disposition and is the result of a positive attitude towards life." "Just like the naughty girl of this short movie." "Tinto Brass presents" "Improper Liaisons (Improper Relations)" " Uncle!" " Silvia!" " How are you?" " Fine." " Let me see you." "You've grown up." " Of course." " Have you been waiting long?" " No." "Let's go." "So, how was the journey?" "It was so hot." "I can't wait to have a shower." "Actually..." "Tell me about your new wife!" "Tell me something about her." "Everything's great with Francesca." "Elena is the problem." "It was predictable." "My little cousin doesn't change, does she?" "You'll see for yourself." "I'm really sorry about your mother." "She was a fantastic woman." "You can stay as long as you like." " I mean, with us." " Thank you, uncle." "Life is really strange." "When I was a child I always wanted to live with you." "I couldn't wait for the summer because I knew Mum would send me here." "And now here I am with nowhere else to go apart from that horrible school." "I've always thought of you as my own little girl." "You know you were my first true love?" "Till now." "My biggest crush." "Hello!" " Fine." " Hello!" "You're beautiful." " Well done, uncle." "She's lovely." " I know." " The journey, how was it?" " Everything was fine." "Uncle, you're not spying on me, are you?" "You left the door open." "The little girl has grown up, hasn't she?" "What are you thinking about?" "I'm too young for you." "What are you saying?" "Hurry up." "Dinner is ready." "Yes, sir!" "So, have you decided what to do?" "I have to keep on studying." " Where?" " I don't know." "I like it here in Rome." "Have you already found somewhere to stay?" "Silvia is part of the family and she can stay here as long as she likes, obviously." "There is enough room." "The fireworks." "Marco, are you coming with me?" "Come on, uncle." "Can we go?" " Sure." "Don't be too late." " Thank you." "Listen, she'll have to stay for a while." "She can't stay here forever." "Where do you think she should go, then?" " She could go back to her school." " She's your cousin!" "Why don't you like her?" "Shut up." "You're not even part of the family." "Why don't you leave as well?" "Don't you dare talk to her that way." "Watch your mouth." "I already said she can stay as long as she likes." "What's wrong, little one?" "Are you afraid of the woods?" "Don't be scared." "I'm here with you." "Do you remember what we used to do when we were young?" "Do you remember?" "We played doctors." "Remember?" "And when you sodomized me with your father's pen?" "Do you want to sodomize me with something else now?" "What do you reckon?" "Hurry up, Silvia." "Dinner is ready!" " Park in the back." "I'll be in the bedroom." " I'm coming." "What are you doing here?" "I was looking for a book." "No." "You're nosing around in my father's bedroom." "Aren't you leaving yet?" "Don't you realise nobody wants you here?" "You're not part of this family." "Go back to your school." "No." "I don't think I'll leave." "I like this house." "Actually, my dear cousin, I think you'll be the one to leave." "Leave this room." "Does your father know you take boys to your bedroom?" "Come on?" "Why not?" "Try, at least." "Look, let's do this." "If you don't like it, I won't ask you again." "I've told you many times, I'm tired of listening to you." "I don't do it with my mouth." "Get a whore if you want particular things." "Yes." "I won't put that disgusting thing in my mouth." "Hi!" "Hello!" "Who are you?" "Elena's cousin." "I heard you talking and so came in to meet you." " Well, nice to meet you." " Nice to meet you." "Don't worry!" "She'll be busy for a while." "But tell me about your problem." " What are you talking about?" " Come on." "I was passing by and accidentally" "I heard you arguing about something." "A thing she doesn't really want to do." "Well..." "What are you still doing in bed?" "Hurry up, my father is on his way." "I bought you something." "I saw it in a shop and I thought it would suit you." "Thank you, Auntie." "I'm sure you'll like it." "I'll put it here." "We're nearly ready to eat." "Are you coming downstairs?" "Yes." "In a while." "Where are you going, all wet?" "I've just got out of the bath." "I'll wait for you downstairs." "Stay here with me for a little bit." " What's wrong?" " I miss my mother." "So sweet." "I'm here." "Where's Elena?" "Isn't she coming to eat?" "She said she's not coming." "She's not feeling well." "Since I've been here, she's been unwell." "Don't worry." "It has nothing to do with you." "Go and tell your sister I want her here in five minutes." "All right." "I'm going to have a bit of fresh air." "Excuse me." " We can't go on like this." " You're right." "What are these pictures of?" " A bit of everything." " Are there some of your lovers?" "I don't have any lovers." "Apart from me?" "Of course." " Do you want to take some pictures of me?" " Now?" "Of course." "Right now." " I don't know." "We don't have the right light." " Come on." "We can use the flash." "Give it back, come on." " I know what you really like." " Really?" "Yes." "You like watching." "You like watching people making love." "You're a vo...a..." "The word is voyeur." "You shouldn't go nosing about in other people's pockets." " Come on, follow me." " Where?" "Come." "Where are you..." "Wait." "Watch." "Who's your little girl?" "I need you to tell me." "You're my little girl." " You are." " We'll always be together, won't we?" "We'll always be together." "Nobody will throw you out of here." "Nobody." " I'll be back in time for dinner." " We'll wait for you." "Don't drive too fast." "I think I should be in that car." "Don't worry." "I'm sure she'll be fine in that school." "Dinner at seven." "You're not allowed to be late." "Hi." "It's for the best if you know this straight away." " This is my girlfriend." " Hello." "Smoking is forbidden."