"Hey, hairdresser!" "Like an egg!" "Slick her down like an egg." "Shears, please." "Now, gorgeous..." "You turn, you glide and you fly away!" "Nothing to it." "And once around is enough." "Here comes the Dragon Lady!" "Which one?" "She's THE fashion editor!" "Miss Maxwell's here." "She won't like it." "But what does she know?" "Not too tight!" "Isn't she marvelous!" "A dream!" "It's uncomfortable but what can you do?" "Stunning!" "Superb!" "Stupendous!" "Magnificent!" "The wings are too high!" "Lower them!" "No fingers!" "You'll smear it!" "How many times must I tell you?" "I'm wounded!" "Cover it with pancake." "Ouch!" "It hurts!" "Just a scratch... I'll throw up." "Don't worry!" "With pancake it won't show." "He's recreated Woman!" "Here HE is!" "You've recreated Woman!" "Well, I did my best." "The poet of sheet-metal!" "I dress the Atomic Woman." "Botticelli's angels copulate!" "The French Robot is born!" "The gods are jealous!" "I am moved." "Sex in tin cans!" "You're an organizer!" "You're a GALvanizer!" "And I...am galvanized!" "I'm glad you like it." "I have big plans." "The next step is copper!" "Look!" "He can't eat!" "He can't sleep!" "Oh!" "That girl!" "He can't live without her!" "I know, Your Majesty." "Have her brought from Paris." "But not a word to our Ambassador!" "If our enemies find out, we are lost!" "But my son's happiness..." "Send our most secret agents!" "It's all arranged." "They leave within the hour." "I've been in Paris 3 years and frankly you're the most!" "So how about a cup of coffee?" "Or a hot chocolate?" "No thanks." "A V-8?" "Papaya?" "You're making a mistake." "May I help you across, Miss?" "I'm all right, thanks." "You don't dig boy scouts?" "Will you marry me?" "Look!" "A wedding present!" "What is it?" "Shaving cream." " lt's disgusting!" " No, it's shaving cream!" "Come up to my place." "But..." "look at that lather!" "Guys that run after models aren't real men." "They're afraid of women." "Models aren't real women because they never see Real Men!" "They're afraid of life!" "That's why they're models!" "I'm pretty scary, no?" "You're nothing Max." "You cut your hair!" "It's a wig." "Miss Polly..." "You've got visitors." "Really?" "Who?" "Some TV people." "What do they want?" "It's for a film, I think." "What film?" "Who's the genius put that here?" "We're from the TV show "WHO ARE YOU"?" "I know, someone called me." "Oh!" "Someone called you." "We'll improvise." "It's more natural." "We didn't touch anything." "I'm Gregoire Pecque." "You're Polly Maggoo?" "This is Jean-Jacques Georges." "He's going to interview you." "Or would you rather speak English?" "No, I speak French." "You do?" "Well, here's what we'll do:" "We don't want one of those corny TV interviews!" "First, imagine pictures of you flashing on the screen." "Flash!" "Flash!" "Flash!" "We'll use a necktie mike." "I'll hide it here." "It shows!" "No, it doesn't!" "Not much." "All right, I'll use the boom." "Watch that boom." "First, a...uh...clothe-up, ha-ha!" "And you say:" ""l'm Polly Maggoo..."" "You do anything you like." "Even turn your back to the camera." "And then..." "But can you understand me?" "Yes, Monsieur." "Call me Gregoire." "You say: "l'm 20." "I came to France...etc."" "Pick up the phone if it rings." "We'll use it!" "Then you'll answer some questions." "OK?" "Got it?" "Fun, isn't it?" "A riot!" "So I start here?" "If she goes there, you whip over here." "If she moves, you track her... there and there..." "OK?" "And that's your angle!" "Hold on." "From here, maybe." "But here, I can't." "Of course you can!" "OK, OK, but it'll be lousy." "So that's my worry." "What happens now?" "We begin." "Everybody ready?" "POLLY MAGGOO:" "Take 1 !" "Uh...who am I?" "I'm Polly Maggoo, daughter of Molly and Mack Maggoo:" "Brooklyn patrolman 1st class!" "When I was a kid, I was horrible." "I had buck-teeth and freckles." "I've still got freckles." "But with make-up, it doesn't show." "To fix the teeth, a dentist wanted $2,000." "It was too expensive." "So I keep my mouth open, like Pat." "Pat was my rabbit... but he's dead." "My uncle McGregor Maggoo gave him to me." "My aunt, Patricia Maggoo, uncle McGregor Maggoo's wife, gave me toilet paper to take to Paris." "She said there isn't any in France." "Did I laugh when I got there!" "It's all over the place." "Except in cafés." "When I was 16, I became a model." "My aunt Patricia Maggoo told me never to drink the water in France." "And, especially, never to..." " Cut!" " Why?" "It's fantastic!" "Fantastic?" "Look at me!" " So what?" " ls that your frame?" " What about it?" " l said a close-up!" "Why didn't you say so?" "Let's go on." "OK, Polly?" "One thing though..." "Can you walk a little slower?" "POLLY MAGGOO:" "Take 2!" "You ask me who I am?" "YES!" "I'm Polly Maggoo." "But confidentially, I'm not so sure." "You want to know who I am?" "Sometimes I wonder." "They take my picture... every day and every way." "They've taken millions of pictures." "And every time they take one, there's a little less of me left." "So what'll I have left when they're done?" "I ask you!" "Polly Maggoo, to the civilized world, you're a symbol of sophisticated elegance." "But I feel this is only a game." "Your life is a masquerade, a skin-game in which you're both pawn and player." "The Good Fairy touched you with her Magic Wand." "But when midnight strikes, will your coach become a pumpkin?" "Your footmen, mice?" "And your lovely gowns, Polly Maggoo?" "What will they become?" "I don't know, Monsieur." "Call me Jean-Jacques." "Terrific!" "Cut!" "You liked it?" "Nice, the fairy tale bit." "Oh, you poor thing!" "So she's Cinderella?" "I was..." "like...ad libbing." "It's just a first draft." "I wanted a self-portrait." "Now we tail her..." "At work, at play..." "We've got good stuff on her as a kid." "OK, run it." " Let'er roll!" " Roll it!" "Her neighborhood." "Her house." "Her apartment." "Polly, age zero." "Age three." "Her Confirmation, she's eight." "Now this is weird." "We found it in a story on the Beatles." "There she is!" "See?" "Wild, no?" "No?" "Well..." "Ugh!" "What monsters!" "Shut up, Dracula." "And now..." "Polly, the model!" "She's changed." "Not really." "Oh, love that hat!" "Here's a TVcommercial she made." "Your Cinderella doesn't have much to say, does she?" "That's the way she is!" "Listen, sweetie, that just skims the surface." "But the surface is real, too!" "It's life!" "What else is there?" "Listen, sweetie..." "That girl wears a mask." "Rip it off!" "Rip off the mask?" "Why?" "What's behind it?" "Nothing!" "Or else another mask..." "and another..." "For me, she doesn't exist!" "Who said she existed?" "Anyway, what does that mean?" "I don't explain things." "Let the audience figure it out." "Who explains life to them?" "Oh, cool it, man!" "So why explain a movie?" "Or even a TV show?" "Why play down to the audience?" "No explanations!" "They're always wrong!" "Get me Brazzaville." "Listen, stupid..." "Brazzaville!" "BRA like a bra..." "ZA like a za..." "And ville like your..." "NO!" "René-Paul?" "Hiya, baby?" "How many dead?" "Great!" "You get it on film?" "Crazy, sweetie." "But for me, a mask..." "Sweetie, models are either kooks or schizos." "Everybody knows that." "So you ask her..." "Polly, what's the matter?" "I don't know, Monsieur." "You see?" "The truth is UNDER THE MAKE-UP!" "Yeah..." "Well, we're not through yet." "Give me Dallas..." "Frank Alamo." "Yeah, Dallas..." "like in Texas." "You know that... the Prince..." "Later..." "Now we eat." "Now we eat!" "Student-cards, please..." "We're invited." "No cards, no eats." "I'm 20... I'm in love and I let him go all the way." "Now he won't speak to me, Heartbroken." "Listen, Heartbroken." "Take a tip from monks and athletes." "What do I do when a boy whistles at me?" "Don't turn around." "A gentleman doesn't whistle." "And, he may not be whistling at you." "My mother gets me down." "She's a sloppy dresser." "How can I make her understand that, at least, for my sake..." "Help her regain her self-respect." "Make her realize she's still attractive." "An Englishwoman had a stiff upper lip." "She told her doctor:" ""The tip of my nose itches."" "Examination revealed a tumor of the palate." "The doctor ordered an operation." "To his amazement, he found inside the tumor a tomato seed that had sprouted and sent roots down into the palate's walls!" "Speaking of palace walls..." "Prince Igor wants to marry a model." "Who?" "He didn't say." "I knew a girl who married a prince." "Then she found out he already had 85 wives!" "So what did she do?" "She made a terrific stink." "But what could she do?" "You've got to be careful with princes." "AND HOW!" "You've got to be careful with princes!" "Thank you, gentlemen." "Did you see that?" "Yes, Your Highness." "He's new here?" "Yes, Your Highness..." "Fine material." "Look at that." "Very good." "Splendid." " Where's the trombonist?" " lll, Your Highness." "Splendid!" "Congratulations!" " And what are these?" " Children, Your Highness." "How are you, children?" "fine!" "Splendid!" " Your name?" " Francis." "Francis?" "Splendid!" "And you?" "Yves?" "Splendid!" "The flags?" "Splendid!" " And you?" " Denise." "Splendid..." "You're doing a fine job." "And this?" "Well?" "She's coming, Mother." "Hellooo..." "Who dat calling'?" "No suh, de Prince he ain't heah." "No suh, he didn't heah." "He won't be back till late, suh!" "Yo welcome, suh... ln area our realm is small" "Smaller than Nepal" "Really not big at all" "But let our enemies beware" "Nothing can impair" "Our March up Freedom's Stair!" "Never in this sacred land" "Shall our destiny be manned" "By any hand other" "Than that of the Prince, our brother" "And of the Queen, his mother" "The House of Borodin's only Heirs!" "Long may our glorious banner wave" "White and black on its lofty stave" "Far and wide our hopes it bears" "Spreading our proud historic design" "From Sweden to the Argentine:" "The Glorification of Borodine!" "Long live Princess Polly!" "Mother, this is Polly." "I want to show what's special about her!" "I'm not saying she's so special." "It's for "WHO ARE YOU"?" "Look, we can do something like this:" "We cut all her crap..." "She comes on...and wham!" "My name is Polly Maggoo, daughter of Molly and Mack Maggoo." "When I was a kid, I was horrible." "I realized I was a rabbit, too." "But with make-up, it doesn't show." "Except in cafés." "So what'll I have left?" "I ask you!" "And zowie!" "What do you think?" "She's no Einstein!" "And you're Einstein?" "Hands off, Batman!" "I see what you're getting at, but..." "Suppose we start with me, saying: "Polly Maggoo," ""you're playing a part." "Your life is a masquerade." ""But when midnight strikes..."" "And zoom!" "Close-up!" "She sees the truth!" "Then bingo!" "Brooklyn!" ""Yes, playacting, but deep down, you're just a kid."" "Snapshots!" "Same frame, same expression!" ""You're still that little girl in Brooklyn!"" "And you've got her!" "I don't know." "We have to shoot more." "Run the fashion footage." "Now here I say..." "I say... I talk about the last few years:" "Fashion used to be only for the rich!" "Now, it's only for teenagers!" "The Little-Girl Look!" "No breasts, no hips, just knees." "But who's... knocking knees?" "Oy!" "Look at that one!" "Red Riding Hood outfits for Mini-women!" "Fashion is a business and a con-game!" "A dress is a disposable wrapper!" "The fashion industry wields a magic wand:" "The fashion model!" "60 bucks an hour!" "The courtesan for-your-eyes-only!" "The flash-bulb Venus!" "The Cover-Girl!" "And pow!" "We cut to Polly!" "Got her by the short hairs now!" "We're not out of the woods yet!" "Don't worry, sweetheart." "Bye, pussy-cat." "See you, kitten." "Bye-bye, Batman." "Ciao, baby-doll." "So long, doll-baby." "When do we see her again?" "Polly?" "Tomorrow, maybe." "I can't make it tomorrow." "I've got 3 shows tomorrow." "We'll see." "What do you think of the new TV Charter?" "More production would mean higher productivity!" "Instead, the Same Goal is being Purchased through personnel cuts." "The staff works in a willfully induced climate of Fear and insecurity." "The OK-TV Charter is more outdated than that of any other gov't agency." "Staff members have been Arbitrarily Fired." "Under these conditions, I can only be alarmed at the threat to personnel, liberty and to the future of the OK-TV!" "Scared?" "Not at all." "Bl,cher says we're spending too much." "They don't even know if they'll use it!" "A good show can't be based on ratings!" "Must we choose between government-run propaganda TV and commercial TV for Moronic Millions!" "OK, I've got to see The Man." "What about Gregoire?" "We've got him by the..." "I saw Bl,cher." "He's had it coming." "Parsley...garlic..." "onions...white wine." "Hey!" "The gang's all here!" "American women are very free on that subject." "I should have showed him that for a French woman..." ""But when midnight strikes..."" "Oy vay!" "That creep!" "Why don't I ask the questions?" "I've done interviews." "What do you do for a living?" "Well, I'm a porter. I carry bags." "Oh, you're a porter..." "I see." "No subject is more controversial than Fashion." "And I'm very glad you're here to give your opinions." "What do you think, Madame?" "I think fashion has a lot to offer during the first 50 years of life." "But of course, actually, to tell the truth... when all is said is done... I have to confess that... when I shinny down my tree of life... well, I see my dresses!" "There was one that was moonlight blue, with little puffs." "Delicious!" "I wore it to the soiree given by Mussolini in Laval's honor, on Jan. 5, '35 at the Palazzo di Venezia." "It didn't bring them much luck!" "When Mussolini saw me, he said:" ""l like-a da dress, but your politics - mamma mia!"" "How charming!" "And you, Professor?" "Yes, that's all very well, but we mustn't forget this is 1966!" "The result is always the same." "They make clothes for women built like broomsticks!" "They hide women's best assets." "And an asset is better than a liability any day!" "But even those kooky-looking women have kept their feminine assets." "Out in the street, they may not seem to have bosoms or anything." "But believe me, they do!" "Get them to bed and you'll see!" "Right!" "But meanwhile, designers want to put us off women!" "But it won't work!" "To see if it's a real Frigidaire, try scratching it with your nail." "Can't, Lady... lt's holdin' up my pants!" "Yes, there she is..." "The divine Goddess!" "I need a suit...semi-ready-to-wear!" "TV is better than the movies." "You see TV without looking." "Like life." "Movies are too absorbing." "No good." "You need holes." "That Small Screen is just one Big Hole!" "A ticket for Nice." "When?" "For nice." "And just when did you realize you loved her?" "I don't know." "Maybe the first time I HAD her..." "Had her in front of the camera, I mean!" "But Gregoire, WHO ARE..." "YOU?" "Well, it all began a long time ago." "At first, I wasn't much..." "And then, slowly but surely, from month to month and year to year, from one vacation to the next... and one school to another, from his Confirmation... to his first long pants... from puberty to basic training..." "He was hard to handle." "WE were easy to handle!" "And then I became what I am today." "Otherwise, I'd be something else." "And if I were something else, I wouldn't be what I am!" "But it's a bust!" "I'm nothing!" "The contestant gave the wrong answer, but he didn't know the rules." "So the jury cancels that question." "is that true?" "You didn't know the rules?" "No, I didn't know the rules." "I didn't even know there were any." "Nobody told me!" "Nobody tells me anything!" "He says nobody told him!" "It's an outrage!" "Paris!" "Paris!" "Can you hear me?" "Settle this!" "Please!" "Over to you, Paris..." "Nobody ever told me." "I swear they didn't!" "modeling SCHOOL" "This way...one-two, one-two..." "Make one full turn." "You're models!" "Walk like cats!" "That's right..." "Slink!" "Slank!" "A model must be neat as a pin!" "Like she just stepped out of a box!" "What is it, gentlemen?" "You know Polly Maggoo?" "Yes, this way please." "But be careful." "Don't catch more fish than you can eat." "The Orchestra:" "An eminent conductor leads our Municipal Orchestra." "It greatly contributes to the pleasure of the population." "Cows, horses, pigs and sheep make much work for farmers." "1 , 2, 3..." "It's me." "My French diary." "Friday, March 4th:" "I learned one idiom, one proverb and three new words." "I was very good on TV. lt was easy." "Gregoire is cute." "He's going to call me and follow me around all day." "That'll be fun." "Aside from that, what's new?" "I've got a pimple." "I learned a French dance:" "the Paso Doblo." "Last night, I ate an Osso Buccio." "It's tripe." "I took a bath this morning." "I put some perfume on all over!" "I feel like a sex fiend." "I read in the paper that the imperatives of fashion are even more categorical than those of philosophy." "sociologist:" "Take One!" "Let's have it again!" "Freddy, the mike's in the shot." "Lower!" "More!" "I'm sorry!" "Let's start again." "Technical problems..." "Let's take it again, from the top." "There's another version..." "Mr. Sociologist, please..." "A little to the left." "Thank you." "Christ!" "It's jammed!" "Oh, fine!" "So sorry, but don't worry..." "We'll change angles." "It's working now." "Big deal." "It's not my fault!" "Wait..." "Elbow further out." "Relax, act naturally, look at the camera." "There's another version of Cinderella." "The Prince comes along, and the eldest the eldest sister tries on the slipper." "The slipper is too small." "So her mother tells her to cut off a toe." ""Queens are carried when they're married."" "The girl cuts off her big toe, the slipper fits, and the Prince rides off with her on his charger." "The hoax backfires, though..." "Blood on her stocking, shame and scandal..." "So there you are: fetishism..." "So there you are: fetishism mutilation, pain." "Fashion in a nutshell!" "In any case, the child learns several important things." "The value of tiny feet and fine clothes, since they help Cinderella find love and a happy marriage." "Also, the erotic nature of fashion is revealed." "The Prince is excited by the slipper." "He's actually something of a fetishist." "Fashion is primarily sex." "I think we have it." "Do we cut?" "Cut!" " How was the sound?" " Fabulous!" "We want Polly Maggoo." " You should be ashamed!" " What for?" "Smut peddlers!" "You recognize her, Lady?" "Do you, Mister?" "I don't know..." "Little Anny Fanny?" "Mick Jagger?" "She sings rock'n'roll." "No, she's on TV." "Jeanne Moreau?" "No..." "You don't know her?" "I saw her on a commercial..." "So you know her?" "...for underarm something." "Stop!" "I'll throw up!" "Disgusting!" "Sickening!" "Ech!" "I lift...you push!" "What an adorable cemetery!" "So near Paris!" "So convenient!" "It's for our magazine..." "We're running a feature:" ""ls Paris Dead?"" "Meaning High Fashion, of course..." "Yes, ma'am." "She's fantastic!" "Yes ma'am." "Wonderful!" "Divine!" "OK, what do we do?" "First, I want to talk to him." "The cafeteria'll be closed..." "We want to know who sets fashion?" "Now, we've got ready-to-wear designers, but the need was there." "It's the kids." "They've got money." "They're more of them." "Also, more vacations... more week-ends." "But today, teenagers not only create fashion but are so concerned by it!" "It's a Sexual Initiation." "Fashion is a sexual thing." "A Puberty Rite: a girl dresses while society looks on, hypnotized!" "Look, let me tell you something." "Our stuff is Young, Practical and Fun." "OK, we'll start with that." "Now you stand...there..." "Hey, wake up!" "Let's get with it..." "Girls!" "Just pretend we're not here!" "It's for TV!" "So just act naturally, OK?" "So what do I do?" "I say: "lt's Young, Practical", all that?" "It's Young, Practical and Fun!" "OK?" "Do you know her?" "So you don't believe in money?" "Money is everything!" "I believe in higher things!" "Higher things are gone for good!" "Where'd they go?" "Get wise!" "Money is the staff of life!" "Money's the Devil's turd!" "That's what you say!" "I've got news for you!" "I buy FRANCE-SOlR!" "But I don't read their politics... I buy COMBAT... I only read the sports!" "So let them stop making Bombs and build Hospitals!" "Give decent Pensions to workers over sixty!" "But the pensions are decent!" "Decent?" "!" "Of course they are!" "We eat like pigs while millions starve!" "Now, take it easy..." "This is a society of pigs!" "How can you talk about society or even religion when people starve to death!" "Take that and shove it." "You could be nicer about it." "So you don't know her?" "You heard me, shove it!" "Calm down, Mister, please!" "I work for a living." "And we don't maybe?" "Are you ready?" "Who's there?" "Gregoire." "Come in." "Hello..." "How's the movie coming?" "All right." "Know who I am yet?" "Not yet, but today we work." "For the movie?" "Yes, I'm going to test you." "Psych tests?" "Crazy!" "I'll go change." "Can you read faces?" "Of course." "You, for example, are a Lunarian." "What aryan?" "LUNarian." "Tall." "Skin: pale and yellowish." "Face: round." "Cheeks: flabby." "Eyes: prominent and blue, vacant, with an occasional gleam of intelligence." "Teeth: buck." "Sign of insolence, pride and instability." "A turned-up nose is a sign of deceit, vanity, extravagance and flightiness." "One's walk also reveals character." "How do I walk?" "You walk the way you are." "Go on, walk." "You walk...uh... like a sailor." "I used to know one who walked like you." "Look at your posture!" "What's that mean?" "Nothing." "But nothing means nothing." "Look!" "You just made a face." "You became someone else." "Why?" "What did I do?" "Nothing. lt's still me." "When you pose, you change." "Why?" "Well, what does an actress do?" "Yes, but you pose all the time!" "You're posing now!" "A "natural" pose!" "Oh, you're crazy!" "Down, Polly, down." "We're going to do some tests." "What tests?" "You'll see." "These are psychological tests." "We'll begin with this one." "In copying his drawing," "Folon made a deliberate mistake." "Ready?" "The hat!" "The hat?" "What's the matter?" "Nothing." "And now, who'd you rather sleep with..." "President Johnson or Fidel Castro?" "Uh..." "Castro!" "Castro or Von Braun?" "Castro!" "Castro or Georges Brassens?" "Georges Brassens!" "Brassens or Lawrence of Arabia?" "Brassens!" "Brassens or Picasso?" "Picasso." "Picasso or Cassius Clay?" "Cassius Clay!" "Cassius Clay or Marcello Mastroianni?" "Mastroianni!" "Mastroianni or Cassius Clay?" "Cassius Clay!" "Cassius Clay or Fidel Castro?" "Fidel Castro." "Well, that's better." "Better?" "Much better!" "Now, what's going on in this picture?" "What's the Lady doing?" " She's crying." " Why?" " Because she's sad." " Why?" "Because she's old." "And the Man?" " He's going away." " Why?" "Because." "Will he be back?" "No..." "And now, here are some photos." "You're to identify them." "That's the General!" "The President!" "Lucky Blondo!" "Ladoumegue!" "Mama!" "Papa!" "ME!" "ME!" "Now, you're six years old." "I'm a magician." "Make me laugh and I'll give you anything you want." "I can make you laugh." "I doubt it." "Yes I can." "I don't think so." "Very good..." "Now, you're this woman." "Sing like she'd sing." "I can't." "Sing!" "That's good, very good." "Now come here and kick his ball." "Very good." "Now for some intimate questions..." "What plant would you like to be?" "A carrot." "Why?" "I don't know." "She doesn't know." "What plant wouldn't you like to be?" "A spinach." "Why?" "It grows above ground, animals pee on it." "Ah...they pee..." "While carrots grow underground and are very useful." "What object would you like to be?" "A rocket." "What animal?" "You know...a rabbit." "But if you could choose?" "A rabbit anyway...or an elephant." "They're sad and they're not proud." "Work of art?" "You want me to say the Mona Lisa." "Why?" "Wouldn't that be normal?" "Not necessarily." "Well, I'd rather be a sculpture." "Paintings are stupid." "A raw material?" "Steel. lt's hard and white." "Historical figure?" "Not Cleopatra..." "Joan of Arc!" "She's better." "The castration complex goes well with an inferiority complex." "Being useful: the carrot." "Not being crushed: spinach." "Wanting to dominate: the elephant." "Both complexes involve narcissism." "The statue..." "Beauty..." "And there are signs of Frigidity." "Hardness, whiteness... and not wanting to bear weight... spinach again." "I just said spinach for the hell of it." "So I've got all the complexes?" "Quite a few." "is it serious?" "Not, very." "Most complexes work themselves out and are sublimated." "And there are signs of that basic syndrome by which the id and super-ego find orgasmic fulfillment in the ego." "And then there are the vertical images..." "The rocket!" "The carrot!" "The vertical images convey a feeling of flight, of fulfillment of upsurge and sublimation." "Those games were fun." "Tests, not games." "What do you do with them?" "Tabulate them." "And then?" "That's all." "You'll explain them?" "I don't want to do any explaining." "Oh?" "You know, the producer saw that stuff we shot the other day." "He says you don't exist." "And he exists?" "Who knows?" "But do you feel you exist?" "Yes..." "Don't you?" "That depends." "But I know what he means about you." "Your job: modeling, fashion, all that jazz." "All what jazz?" "Fashion - it doesn't exist." "It does so!" "How?" "Because it changes!" "Nothing lasts." "Fashion does because it changes." "Things that don't change, die!" "What are you talking about?" "It's just good business for it to change!" "It means nothing. lt's absurd." "No it isn't..." "It's a gas!" "And it means everything!" "Everything's a fashion." "Love...ideas...even war!" "Even politics!" "One thing at a time!" "Fashion is a business and a con-game." "So is war!" "We're talking about you, Miss Univac!" "You don't realize you're being conned." "Just like the women, it's your job to con!" "They're driving all of you nuts!" " How am I nuts?" " You have to be!" "Dressing up, making up..." " Looking in mirrors..." " All women do that." "But you're a professional." "All women make love, but some are professionals." "Oh God!" "So what?" ""Oh, God!" "So what?" she says." "Look, they play dolls with you, so what happens?" "You turn into a doll!" "And it's a waste of time!" "So are TV films!" "No comparison!" "You're so mixed up, you don't see you're becoming a narcissistic freak!" "What kind of a freak?" "Well..." "like other models." "The world can go to hell for all you care!" "All they'll worry about is their eyelashes." "Which models?" "You know any?" "Well..." "I know...you." "You know nothing about me!" "With your dopey films and dopey tests!" "Why if the world went to hell all you'd do is film it!" "That's got nothing to do with it!" "Just what are you doing with your life?" "I do as I please." "And you?" "Oh, me, I don't do anything with my life." "You're sad?" "I guess so." "It's my fault." "No, it's mine." "Nobody likes me." "I didn't say I didn't." "Do you?" "Maybe..." "See what I mean?" "But I don't know you." "If you did, you'd hate me." "Now you really look sad." "I do, don't I?" "I've got to get dressed." "Polly, stop falling down!" "Look where you're going!" "But I've got high heels on!" "Don't make such a fuss!" "Polly, you're impossible!" "She's gonna jump?" "It's a movie." "Who is it?" "It's Polly Maggoo." "Don't forget - it's the neckline!" "It's her!" "You're sure?" "It's them all right!" "What is the weather like ?" "Chilly, Madame!" "You're stiff!" "Stretch!" "Flex!" "Straighten necks!" "In French!" "It's the Gazette de Lausanne!" "Heading: "The great Isidore Ducasse" ""has killed fashion!" ""Fashion is Dead!" "Long live Fashion!"" "New paragraph:" ""The Newton of the knee," ""the Houdini of the hips..." ""the Bartok of the bosom," ""the Picasso of the pelvis," ""the Franck Lloyd Wright of the female body," ""Isidore Ducasse has recreated woman." ""His electronic brain" ""has fathered" ""the EVE of the Atomic Age!"" "New paragraph:" ""From France's incomparable soil..." ""has sprung a metal wardrobe for Joan of Arc!"" "Anybody seen my layouts?" ""Steel Girdles Loins!"" "It's HER!" "Who are these creatures?" "Chimney-sweepers, Madame." ""Flexible!" ""Feather-weight!" ""Stainless!"" "Oh, the layouts!" "Who are these men?" "Chimney-sweepers!" "Up your chimney, Lady!" "Photos for Miss Maxwell!" "Urgent!" "Yes, we sweep no chimneys We sweep no chimneys today!" "What's that?" "A dress!" "I made it!" "I'm a designer!" "Ghastly!" "It is not!" "I'm a genius!" "Yours is ghastly!" "I'll fix it!" "Stop him!" "He's mad!" "Polly's problem:" "Her hair is soft, but brittle." "Beer makes it strong." "Lemon juice makes it shine, but then so does beer!" "What to do?" "If you have dainty,sensitive nostrils which quiver like a horse's you were born under a lucky star!" "Do you have a wide mouth?" "Straight and finely chiseled?" "With slightly upturned corners?" "Does your face fit into a circle?" "Everything round is right!" "Your eyebrows:the archway to your eyes!" "Recompose your face." "Rearrange highlights and shadows." "Your eyes have unsuspected powers!" "But be careful!" "They speak volumes!" "In one wink they've said everything." "No more 5 o'clock shadow!" "It's all yours, dear heart." "All of it?" "All of it." "How sweet!" "It's nothing." "Come..." "This is the Big Clock..." "It's 12:15." "We go in here and come out there." "How exciting!" "No. 340" " Place de la Nation." ""The Triumph of the Republic" by Dalou." "What's that?" "The Seine...a bird's eye view." "The morning mist has lifted, it's a fine day." "60 in Paris, 50 in Lille and 68 in Nice." "On your left, your local theater." "And over there?" "Paris ll, a new development." "And that?" "Paris ll bus-line, last stop!" "I'm so happy!" "Where are we now?" "The suburbs." "Do you live here?" "No..." "I have a castle...over there." "I must go now." "Trust me..." "I love you!" "Hey, ma, who's that?" "Here comes the bride!" "HERE COMES THE bride!" "Fine, thank you..." "I speak French." "Aha!" "So you're Polly-glot!" "Here, Polly, taste this." "They don't have this in America, do they?" "What is it?" "Calf's-head!" "French cuisine?" "French and 1/2!" "Mother made it!" "You're in for a treat!" "She likes it!" "You don't get that in America!" "Everything comes in cans!" "They're even canning wine now!" "In America?" "Uh...in France." "In France!" "To send to America." "You see?" "I was in the USA as a military observer." "I was dealing with Pentagon brass who treated me like dir!" "Actually, I knew more than they did!" "And I had a long tradition behind me!" "He's off again!" "They say Americans are children." "Actually, they're OUR children." "Europe has given them everything." "From life to liberty!" "Some liberty!" "And the Statue, to boot!" "But he's right, Gregoire." "Do you paint, young lady?" "Why, no..." "Then, your name isn't Polly Titian?" "You wouldn't be Polly Tickle-minded?" "Or Polly Styrene, by any chance?" "Americans are squares..." "in round cans!" "They're dirty!" "And they're stupid!" "Their brains are smaller than ours!" "And you can't tell them apart!" "They're racists!" "And they're dirty!" "Now, Juliette... not all of them." "Now, Juju...now, Juli..." "not all them!" "That's Frank." "He's a singer." "How old is he?" "Oh, he's still young." "I read in the papers where an American found his mother again after 25 years." "He knew her by a scar he'd given her." "How did he find her?" "Uh...he phoned." " So he knew where she was!" " That's possible." "They say that in America, even the workers have big American cars." "What did you expect?" "Chinese cars?" "And now, an odd item from the USA:" "Mr. Mack Smith found his mother after a separation of 25 years." "He recognized her by a scar he'd given her just before leaving." "There, you see!" "As it turned out, however, the lady wasn't his mother, after all." "But Mr. Smith has not given up hope!" "Now, from Washington..." "President Johnson's daughter, who, apparently, hasn't..." "Very strange..." "So she loves him?" "Of course not." "What'd he say?" "OF COURSE NOT!" "I can't hear..." "I'm 86!" "You'll bury us all, grandma!" "Everybody get up for a picture!" "Who's there?" "It's us!" "Nobody here!" "Quick!" "Grab all that!" "Her father!" "I'm coming." "Are these pictures you?" "Yes." "Prince Igor sent us... with this personally autographed photograph!" "It's lovely." "Thank you." "In our country, a photo is like an engagement ring." "No, this window's for money-orders." "Deaf or something?" "Go back where you came from!" "Dirty foreigners!" "French idioms:" "Cut the bull, Manolete." "That's what you think, fink!" "None of your lip, Satchmo!" "That's rich, Fitch!" "Where's the john, Birch?" "Mon darleeng!" "How many girls have you slept with?" "Did you ever sleep with an American?" "Can you do this?" "You're funny!" "Are you mad of me?" "Please don't muss my hair." "Why don't you comb it like this?" "You'd be cute." "Now guess who I am!" "Aluminum dresses are all very fine." "But do you think that for every day wear?" "Clothes should be structurated..." "We must re-structure our structures." "Reinsert women into this cosmogonal world of ours." "True, Isidore Ducasse, but Polly Maggoo?" "Polly?" "Polly came from through the Looking-Glass!" "She walks on air!" "She never rains, she pours!" "She's..." "SlDEREAL!" ""WHO ARE YOU" has gone behind the scenes... with its hidden cameras and shown you the secrets of the fashion world and its Queen-For-A-Day:" "Polly Maggoo!" "But Day is Done, Polly Maggoo... and Night must FALL!" "Where will you go now?" "WHERE ARE YOU going, POLLY MAGGOO?" "What do we see next?" ""WHO ARE YOU, POPE PAUL?"" "This week..." ""WHO ARE YOU" takes you behind the walls of that citadel of faith, the Vatican." "His Holiness Pope Paul Vl..." "Our Prince is off to Paris to fetch his bride!" "LONG live THE princess!" "So there you are..." "Hey, Chamberlain..." "Your Prince wouldn't be flirting with the Commies?" "It seems there's this pinko model..." "Exactly!" "It's time to act...and I've a plan." "Wait!" "Who am I?" "I give up!" "What can you do?" "He's a "genius"!" "He's a nudnik!" "We'll recut his show." "That's easy." "You take care of it." "Roger, Roger!" "What a schmuck!" "Welcome to Paris, Your Excellency." "Delighted to see you again." "Welcome to Paris!" "Come on, get the lead out!" "You don't like her new Look?" "No, I don't." "Listen , Carita sisters..." "We're about to land on the MOON and you give me ringlets!" "It just won't do!" "And her make-up!" "I want a face that's SMOOTH, HARD AND shiny, like aluminum!" "I want her eyes to go BEEP-BEEP!" "Got it?" "Look at her!" "She's a rocket!" "This is her homing-device." "And she's flying home!" "BEEP-BEEP!" "Got it?" "I want a Rocket Hairdo!" "We're going to the MOON!" "We'll see to it, Madame." "Good-bye, ROCKET!" "Actually, she's not the rocket-type..." "Not really..." "She's more like..." "Cinderella." "And Cinderella's on her way out." "Maybe we'd better find another girl." "Where are my layouts?" "I've got an idea." "SHE'S GOT AN idea!" "The Lord placed the country in my hands." "I grew and suffered with it." "I expect to reduce illiteracy 30%!" "Your country has two faces:" "its Past and its Present." "Quite right." "You are often called The Lonely Prince." "Perhaps... lf you were to marry, what would you look for in a wife?" "A simple woman to share my tastes:" "hunting, fishing, riding and reading." "I read a lot in French:" "Zola, Sagan..." "And a woman who has seen, at least, poverty." "A very touching ldentikit." "And if private happiness conflicted with public duty?" "Only the Future can tell." "Father!" "Lovely cut, Excellency." "Lovely bridge." "We've had our eyes on this pair..." "And their binoculars." "They were selling these." "Passports!" "What is it?" ""The Seine"." "Who's it by?" "I don't know." "I see..." "Shall we go?" "This machine makes cream cheese." "It makes cream cheese." "Are there other flavors?" "The Prince wishes to know if there are other flavors?" "No, we don't flavor it." "They don't flavor it." "Only plain." "Only plain." "Well, Prince, shall we try it?" "Excellent!" "It's very good!" "He's coming!" "This is my oldest daughter." "She's lovely!" "Congratulations!" "Our Principal." "They're charming." "It's been a pleasure, young ladies." "Good-bye, Prince Igor." "Down with the Prince!" "I've changed!" "I just got old." "This minute." "A half hour ago I was still young." "Nobody looks like a weasel but me." "Now I look like an old weasel." "I make me sad..." "Back to Polly." "I can't sleep with everyone, can I?" "Why not?" "Who do you think you are?" "Nobody can talk to you!" "Who wants to talk?" "Listen to me, Polly Maggoo!" "Let me tell you something:" "Your life's a masquerade!" "You're playing games!" "You're selfish!" "You're heartless!" "In fact, you're a royal pain!" "And you failed all your tests!" "Well...not all." "Polly, let's stop playing." "I love you..." "I always have." "A letter and a wire for you." "Would you go out dressed like that?" "Me?" "No!" "Yes, my darling..." "Where's Gregoire?" "He stands before your eyes!" "The Bad Fairy hid my wit and beauty beneath Gregoire's homely face until a maiden fair should love me." "You alone... were swayed by my plight." "This crown is an inadequate expression of my gratitude." "This is your Tass correspondent..." "This is Jean-Jacques Georges speaking from the OK-TVtruck on the Champs-Elysées." "Everyone waiting for the Prince is puzzled." "He should be here now." "He's..." "let's see...20 minutes late." "It is now 1 :18 PM on the dot and he's still not here." ""Promptness is a king's politeness!"" "Prince Igor isn't King yet but nevertheless...ha ha!" "We're still on the air?" "There's a huge crowd out here." "All Paris has turned out for the Prince Igor." "This Modern, this Charming Prince..." ""The Lonely Prince!"" "Now I can see something is up...a messenger..." "Soon we'll have some news." "Miss Polly, please." "She must be in..." "Shall I announce you?" "No, she's expecting me." "3rd floor, room 15..." "Announce him anyway." "She's beautiful!" "A real Princess!" "No, the weather isn't too good... and since we were last on the air, the sun has not brightened the scene on your screen." "What's happening now?" "Gen. Whosis getting into his car?" "They wouldn't start without the Prince!" "The parade is in his honor!" "I can't understand it!" "You're looking for Polly?" "His dark eyes... blazing like a wild beast's... locked with mine, slid to my lips down my neck and along my body." "I began to burn with fever!" "Are you my Prince?" "I've been waiting for so long!" "It is I... and I love you more than myself."