"[gong rings]" "♪ Hear the legends of the Kung Fu Panda!" "♪" "♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo doo-bom doo boom-boom!" "♪" "♪ Raised in a noodle shop ♪" "♪ never seeking glory or fame ♪" "♪ he climbed the mountain top ♪" "♪ and earned the Dragon Warrior name. ♪" "♪ Hu!" "Ah!" "Ya!" "♪" "♪ Kung Fu Panda!" "♪" "♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo- sho-bom, doom-doom-doom!" "♪" "♪ Master Shifu saw the warrior blossom ♪" "♪ and master the skills of bodacious and awesome ♪" "♪ Kung Fu Panda. ♪" "♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo doom-doom-doom-doom!" "♪" "♪ He lives, he trains ♪" "♪ and he fights with the Furious Five ♪" "♪ protect the Valley somethin' somethin' ♪" "♪ somethin' somethin' alive ♪" "♪ Oh!" "Ah!" "Uh!" "♪" "♪ Kung Fu Panda ♪" "♪ Legends of awesomeness. ♪" "Sweet." "1x16" " Ladies of the Shade [crowd laughs, exclaims]" "Hey, what's all the fuss... [crowd laughs]" " Whoa." " Oh, Po, it's so beautiful." " The dancing?" " No, the potential customers." " Now, get out there." " I don't know, Dad." "[gasps] That's fine." "After all I've done for my little boy." "If the shop closes, I'll find work." "Maybe sweeping dirt from the corners of my broken heart." " [sighs] Okay." " Right." "You spin it!" "People love that." "And here are some free noodle coupons." " Wait, free noodles?" " No, free coupons." "Don't forget to smile." "[crowd applauds] [crowd laughs, exclaims]" "[crowd cheers]" "What... okay." "I'm not very good." "Whoa!" "Oof!" "[crowd laughs]" "Whoo!" "Yeah!" "Great!" " Help!" " Thief!" "Stop him!" "Oh, wait, hey!" "Hey, buddy, where you going?" "Jail's that way." "Uh, wait, it's actually that way." "Over there." "[growls]" "Hya!" "Oof!" " Yah!" " Oof!" "[grunts]" "Whoa!" "Oof!" "All:" "Ooh!" "Wah!" "Ooh." "Don't forget to spin the sign." "Ha!" "Help!" "People love spinning signs." "[crowd cheers] [cats giggle]" "Thank you so much." "This is everything we own." "Pff, that..." "aw, it was nothing." "Just part of the whole Dragon Warrior job description thing." "[chuckles]" "Wait, Dragon Warrior?" "Ha." "It's the honor of a thousand lifetimes to be in your presence." "Whoa, that's a long time." "We are the Ladies of the shade." "I am Su." "These two are the twins." "[twins giggle]" "And this adorable little lotus flower is known as Song." "Uh, hey, I'm Po." "And this is my Dad." "Mm-hmm." "Song, we've got to get into the Jade Palace." "I want that Dragon chalice." "Get him to say yes!" "Think you can handle him?" "As long as I don't have to pick him up." "Po, would you show me around the village?" "Yes, I would love to show you around!" "Come on!" "Eh?" "Eat at Mr. Ping's noodle shop... [snack]" "[squeaking]" " Trust me." " Whoa!" "Woo hoo!" "[screams] [both yelling]" "Yeah!" "[silly noises] [nervous laugh]" "A heart." "Wait until you see this." " It looks like your..." " Huh?" "[both laugh]" "Well, that was a fun day, Po." " No. [laughs]" " Yes, it was." " Oh, stop it." " Aah!" " Oh, sorry!" " [laughs] That's okay." "Po, there's something I need to tell you." "You can tell me anything." "We're like best friends now." "Well, that's good because I wanted to say..." "You're like, the first girl I've ever been best friends with." "Yes, I like you too." " Which is why I can't stay." " What?" "Why?" "About our dance troupe, we're actually here..." "Oh, there you two lovebirds are." "[laughs] Lovebirds." "Yeah, right." " So, Song, did you ask him?" " Ask me what?" "If I can re-enact the battle of sorrow hill with action figures?" "'Cause I can." "[giggles]" "You didn't get him to say yes?" "Oh, forget it." "Leave this to me." "It's just the Jade Palace is so big." "And the sad reality of it is we have no place to stay." "But why?" "We once lived in a place darkened with evil." "[lightning rumbles]" "We spent most of our lives as captives, forced to dance for the amusement of the barbarian warlord." " A rhinoceros warlord?" " Actually, it was a crocodile." "For years, we lived under his iron boot." "[thud] Dancing, dancing, dancing!" "Until one day, we got a chance at escape." "[lightning rumbles]" "We ran, and we never looked back." "After that, we thought our lives would be better." "Cool!" " But we were wrong." " Bummer." "We roamed from town to town with no food, no comfort, searching for a place to call home." "But everywhere we went, we were shunned." "Now we're outcasts without even a place for the night." "And poor Song, the darkness frightens you so." "Po, are you listening?" "But the magnificent Dragon Warrior, master of hospitality, would come to the rescue!" "Po, can you help us?" "Uh, you know I am the Dragon Warrior, right?" "I mean, I do help people, and Song is my friend and..." "Ah, what the heck, what's one night?" "You ladies are invited to stay at the Jade Palace." "[gasps] How wonderful." "Both: [giggle]" "Please allow us to show our thanks with a personal performance for you and the legendary Furious Five." "[whooshing sounds]" "Shifu's gonna love strangers in the Jade Palace." "Mantis, isn't it our duty to help poor unfortunates in need who happen to be amazingly awesome dancers doing like, a free show?" "!" " Yeah!" " Shh!" "What do you know about these dancing ladies?" "That they're ladies..." "and they dance." " Shh, Po!" " I don't trust them." "You don't trust anyone." "You don't even trust the mailman, and he's been coming here for 30 years." " Planning something for 30 years." " Shh, I'm trying to watch here." "Whoa!" "[gasps] Thieves!" "You always believe the worst about pe..." "Hya!" "[chalice clangs] [gasps]" "All right, ladies, drop the act." "Your performance is over." "Actually, our performance is just about to start." "[blades clink]" "Wah!" "All:" "Hi-yah!" "All:" "Ha!" "[crash]" "Ah!" "[taps parasol]" "Ha!" "[arm blades ring] Hai!" "Aah!" "[fighting sounds]" "Song, why are you doing this?" "I thought we were friends." " I tried to tell you." " What, that you're a liar?" " And that I'm a sucker?" " No, Po, it's not like that." "[combat yells]" "I showed you how my butt looks like a heart." " Something I will always treasure." " Less talk, more hitting!" "Ha." "[cat screeches]" "[crash]" "Ha!" "[gas hisses] [coughs] [all punching and kicking]" " Huh?" " Wha..." "Um, some... show, huh?" "[nervous chuckle]" "Nice work, Po." " I didn't know they..." " What were you thinking?" "!" "They said they needed a place to stay." "Because of a warlord, with an iron... boot." "Po, they lied to you." "They got away with Shifu's Dragon chalice." " Oogway gave that to him." " Those lying liars!" "And now the hall of warriors is wrecked and Master Shifu's gonna be back at any time." "We have to get Shifu's Dragon chalice." "Oh, you can count on that." "I'm gonna teach those ladies a lesson." "By myself." "Solo mission." "One-panda army." "Lone wolf." "Mano-a-parasol ladies." "[vase clatters] [sighs] Crane and I will go too." "Maybe the rest of you can square away the hall before Shifu returns." "Fine." "Luckily we've had a lot of practice at cleaning up Po's messes." "Their trail leads into that canyon." "I feel like I've been here before." "This canyon has a name." "What is it?" "Canyon of the moon rabbit?" "No." "Ooh, canyon of the nine-headed black tortoise." "No." "[wind shrieks] [hisses]" "Canyon of the shrieking wind!" "Yeah!" "[whoosh] [gasps] No!" "[wind picks up] [screams] [screams]" "Oof!" "[rattles]" "Grab hold of my legs!" "[grunting] [screams] [all yell, grunt]" " The Ladies of the shade!" " Wow." "If we storm in there, we'll never find the chalice." "I think I know a lady who can help us." "Take us down." "[thud] Ooh!" "[sniff sniff]" "Halt, what do you want?" "!" "[high-pitched] Hello!" "This'll never work." " Hello!" " Okay, maybe once." "I'm just a wandering parasol lady hoping to join the Ladies of the shade with its merriment and fanciful dancing skills." "Hmm, I've never seen a parasol lady quite like you before." "[giggles] Thank you." "Finally, a lady my size." "[giggles] You're silly." " Ow." " Ow." "Very silly." "[thud, smack]" "Silly, silly, silly, silly..." " Silly!" "[smack]" " Hey, wait a minute!" "[regular voice] Sorry, no can do." "Ooh!" "[thud] Ah!" "[doors creak]" "Whoa, that was awesome." "We're like a dynamic duo, only with three." "Who fight evil." "And pretend to be a lady." "I'm not sure I followed all that." "[sneaky music]" "[high-pitched] Hello." "Oh, hi." "Hi there." "Hello." "[giggles] Oh, hi." "Oh, I love your shirt." "[giggles] Hello." "They're buying it, they're buying it." "I'm a pretty special lady." "He he he." "[high-pitched] Hello, ladies." "Hello..." "[gasps]" "There's Song!" "Po, we've gotta find the chalice." "She gave me an owie on my heart!" "Po!" "Both:" "Here for you pedicure?" "A pedicure?" "That sounds horribl..." "hoo hoo that's nice." "Wow, look at her toenails." "I've never seen feet this mangled before." "Ugh, my feet!" "We just walked back from the Valley of Peace." "Ahem, excuse me, but how was the Valley of Peace?" "Oh, it was, uh..." "Fun?" "Successful?" "Did you meet anyone there?" "Like maybe someone who you [normal voice] became friends with and then decided to trick and like totally deceive them and make them feel bad after they gave you a butt shaped like a heart?" "What do you mean I..." "Po?" "!" "No, uh... [high-pitched] No, Po?" "[giggles]" "Who's Po?" "I mean, I, um, stepping away." "Po!" "[thud]" "Oof!" " Su." " You know my name?" "Who... who..." "who doesn't know of Su and her amazing parasol dancing?" "[giggles]" "I'm Ling Ling-a..." "Ming-a Ling Ling." "Nice." " Here to..." " Yes?" "Uh..." "dance for you!" "Wonderful!" "And dance you will." "Music!" "[claps] [gong rings] [fast-paced music]" "Huh." "She's light on her feet." "Who knew?" "[applause]" "[whispers] Okay, I got 'em where I want 'em." "I'm gonna dance over by the chalice." "Viper, grab it, then Crane, grab Viper and take off." " What about you?" " I'll distract them so that you guys can get out." "Then we'll meet up later." "[music continues]" "Oh!" "I think I might know you..." " Dragon Warrior." " Viper, Crane, go!" "Ha!" "[combat yells] [thunk] Oof!" "Ugh." "Oh, uh..." "[laughs] that was quick." "I was thinking a little bigger finish." "[blades clink]" "Both:" "You'll never get out of here alive!" "Oh, yes, I will." "Because I'm like nothing you've ever seen." "I'm the Dragon Wa..." "[yells in pain]" "I just stubbed my little piggy who stays home." "[all yell]" " They got Po." " He'll be all right." "We need to get the chalice out first." "Hizah!" "Ah!" "[screams] [grunts]" "Ha!" "Come on." "Nothing's gonna surprise me." "[crash] Ah!" "Except maybe that." "[chalice clangs]" "The chalice!" "All:" "Ah!" "[yells] [chalice jingles] [thunk] [rattles] Ha!" "Let's dance." "[all scream]" "Wa!" " Where's the chalice?" " Viper's got it." " That is so cool." " She has the chalice." "[yells]" "You guys go." "Meet me at the canyon." "Ha!" "Pardon." "[smash] Oof!" "Whoa, tiny parasols." "Cool." "[parasols whistle] Aah, oh, eee..." "Uh, not cool." "Yah!" " Song, you're here!" " I heard you could use a friend." "All: [combat yells]" "Come on!" "Oof!" "What do you think you're doing?" "Well, you're evil, so we're escaping." " You'll have to get past me first." " That's easy." "One of you, two of us." "Ah!" " And hundreds of them." " What should we do?" "[cracks neck]" "Run!" "Ah!" "[grunts] [all yell]" "Po, heads!" "Let's go." "[all yelling]" "The wind." "[wind whistling]" "That's it, the wind!" "Po, what are you doing?" "Trust me." "And close your umbrella." "Ha!" "[whooshing] [all scream]" "[smack]" "[growls]" "So, what do you say you and I head back to the Valley of Peace, hmm?" "Actually, I was thinking the ladies need a new leader." "Someone that can get them away from a life of thievery and into honest work." "[chuckles] Well, I'd love to." "But I got a lot on my plate right now as the Dragon Warrior." " I was talking about me." " Oh, uh, yeah." "[laughs] That makes a lot more sense." "You'd be perfect." "[wind howls]" " Sounds like my ride's here." " Yeah. [chuckles]" "I uh, have a little something for you." "I will always treasure it." " It's my butt." " I know. [kiss]" "Good-bye, Po!" "We did it!" "We got the Dragon chalice back." "Po!" "Uh, Master Shifu." "[chuckles] You're back." "Yes, and trying to rest from the journey." "Please lower your voice." "Has anyone seen the Dragon chalice?" "I have a ceremony coming up." "Uh... shooting star!" "Oh, uh, is this the chalice you were looking for?" "Yes..." "is that lipstick?" "Lip..." "lipstick?" "Wha... [laughs]" "Aw, who uses lipstick?" "A girl, that's who, and there's none of those here." "[knuckles crack]" "Enjoy your Dragon chalice, Master Shifu." "[broom drops]" "Hmm."