"Better watch yourself, boy." "Here I come." "Penny, down low to Shaq." "Shaq, back out to Penny for three." "Boom, in Clyde's face." "Ten bucks." "Now give me my money, Pee Wee." "Double or nothing." " This time, you're going down." " I can't believe you two, wasting your time." "Aren't you both a little old to be playing video games?" "This isn't just a video game, Dad." "This is the new 32-bit super system with digitized sound, VGA graphics and full-motion video." "Yo, and it's real cool too." "Those games are just a waste of time." "This has just arrived for you, Master Carlton." "It's from Princeton." "Princeton?" "Open it up." "I can't." "What if it's a rejection?" "You've been rejected your whole life." "You should be used to it by now." "Come on." "Well, here goes nothing." "I'm in!" "I'm going to Princeton!" "Yes, yes, yes." "It finally happened." "Somebody, pinch me." "Ow!" "Congratulations, son." "This is wonderful." "You've been waiting for this for so long." " Hey, let's go out and celebrate, huh?" " Yeah." "Come on." "Oh, I gotta get my jacket." " I'll be right along with you." "Okay." "Yeah." " All right." "All right." "Pa-yow!" "Passes down the court." "There he goes." "Blinding speed." "Goes up for the lay..." "Ha, ha." "Well, you see, you two left the TV on, and..." "And, well, I, you know..." "You want a piece of me?" "Hey, G, come on, man." "Can I get some spare change?" "No." "Use your own money." "G, come on." "It's dime-a-frame bowling day." "It's always more fun when you use other people's dimes." "For the last time, Master William, I have no spare change." "What about that piggy bank in your closet under them issues of Big Butted Butler Babes?" "That was just a lucky guess, man." "Hey, Uncle Phil." "Man, what's up?" "Hey, look, look, you got some spare change for a brother, Uncle Phil?" "Carlton's going to Princeton and you're panhandling." "It's nice to see that everybody's reaching their potential." "It's dime-a-frame bowling day." "You got some spare change?" "Doesn't Carlton's recent success light the fire of ambition in you?" "No." "You gotta have something in this pocket." " Get off me." " Don't make me go in there." " Here." "Take this." "Get out of my face." " Thank you." "Thank you." "Oh, Hil, why so blue?" "Ha, ha." "I volunteered to spend the weekend with a flock of Blue Birds." "Well, just keep them away from my car." "I just got it waxed." "They're not real birds." "They're like Girl Scouts." "And I am the honorary Hen Mother." "Hilary, that's wonderful." "What do you have planned?" "Planned?" "I don't know." "I thought I'd just watch them run around." "I think groups like this usually like to do outdoorsy things." "You know, like camping, hiking, horseback riding." "They do?" "Oh..." "Crash through the line of blue" "And send the backs on 'round the end" "Fight, fight For every yard." "Princeton's honor to defend." "Rah-rah-rah!" "Throw you hands up" "If you wanna be down So come on" "Rah-rah-rah" "Oh, look, here's my old Princeton beanie." "It fits perfectly." "Oh, God, it's been a long hard struggle, son, but you made it." "It sure has." "But I know it's not gonna be easy." "Oh, you're damn right." "You're gonna finally find out the meaning of competition." "Because at Princeton, they separate the wheat from the chaff." "But you're ready." "You're gonna be a part of the crème de la crème." "So I guess that makes Pokey here the crème of wheat." "This is gonna be a big change for you." "From now on, it's just gonna be work, work, work." "Boy, boy, boy." "This crate sure brings back a lot of memories." "Oh, look, my old trophy." "The yearbook." "Heh, heh." "What's this?" "A Twinkie." "I just dug this out of the attic because I thought maybe you'd wanna go through it." " Ha-ha-ha." "Rah-rah-rah!" "Man." "Oh." "A Afro pick." "I wonder who this belonged to." "Hey, look, it's Dad's Phi Beta Kappa key." "Man, look, defensive player of the year." "Wow, look at all this stuff." "Valedictorian, voted most popular, captain of the debating team." "Yo, Uncle Phil was just straight up the man around that joint." "Oh, my God." "He's shaking hands with President Johnson." "Will, I don't know if I can do this." "I don't think you wanna be shaking hands with President Johnson right now." "That's not what I mean." "I mean, I knew Dad was, you know a big deal and everything but my God, how do you follow this?" "Carlton, what are you talking about?" "Well, as hard as I work and as well as I do the best that I'll ever be is not quite as good as Dad." "I don't know if I can do this." "I don't know if I could ever fill Dad's shoes." "I don't know if I could ever be good enough." "Hey, hey, come on." "Carlton, man." "I mean, I know this might be a bad time, but you got some spare change?" "Hey, look, Carlton, we're in a public place, man." "Now don't embarrass me." "Get out of here before I hurt you, girl." " Hey." " Can I help you?" "Yeah." "We'll take a size 12 and a three and a half." " Six and a half." " Oh." " Thank you." " Excuse me." "These look like they've been worn before." "Carlton, take the shoes and come on." "Fine." "Oh, C, man, you came up with the quickness." "I did, didn't I?" "I mean, for the first time out, I wasn't bad." "Dude, you rolled a 130." "That's good." "You know what that means?" " That I'm a natural?" " No." "You gotta buy lunch." "Huh?" "Here is the church." "Here is the steeple." "Open the door and..." "Where are all the people?" "This is so boring." "Yeah." "Well, what do you want me to do?" "Nature walk, nature walk, nature walk." "Hey, hey, hey." "What's all the noise, Big Birds?" "It's not Big Birds, Big Ears." "It's Blue Birds." "Big Ears." "That's funny." "I'm gonna remember that when cookie time roll around." "Hey, Hil, could you do me a favor and get your flock out of here." "Very funny." "But we're leaving." "We're going on a nature walk." "Geoffrey, can you give us a ride to nature?" "Hey, Uncle Phil, who is this rough-Iooking brother standing next to you?" "Heh, heh." "That's your Aunt Viv." "Yeah, uh, her facial hair was different back then." "Why didn't anyone remind me that I hate children?" "My God, Hilary, what happened to you?" "I went on a nature walk with those little blue people." "It was awful." "We were startled by a deer, swarmed by butterflies." "And I have such a headache from that babbling brook." " Hey, hey." "Hey." "The Princeton man." "Ha-ha-ha." "Son, I just signed a check for your first year's tuition." "Thought I'd give you the honor of mailing it." "Oh, I won't be needing it." "Oh, my God." "You got a scholarship." "I didn't even know you had applied." "This is wonderful news." "It's not that, but I do have wonderful news." "What, the adapter for your inflatable doll came in?" " So, what's the wonderful news?" " Dad, I've decided not to attend Princeton." "Oh, after all you've been through, you've decided to stay at ULA, huh?" " No." " Okay." "You're not going to ULA." "You're not going to Princeton." "What the hell are you doing?" "I'm gonna be a bowler." "Oh, so you're going to bowl?" "Ha-ha-ha." "Well, that's very different." "You certainly don't need Princeton for that." "There you go." "I knew you'd be supportive." "Supportive." "Just what...?" "Are you out of your mind?" " Are you out of your mind?" " Will, I'll handle this." "Are you out of your mind?" "Just because I'm not gonna do what you want me to do, you're angry?" "For the first time in my life, I'm standing on my own two feet filling my own two shoes." "And not just being what you want me to be." "What are you talking about?" "I have never stopped you from being what you wanna be." " That ain't exactly true, Uncle Phil..." " Shut up, Will." "This is my decision." "I finally found something I'm good at that I like, and that's it." " You're gonna bowl?" " I'm gonna bowl." " Fine." " Fine?" "Fine." "Your son is about to throw his life away and all you can say is "fine"?" "If I stop him from bowling, I will be doing exactly what he's accusing me of." "He just needs a little space." "He will get over this." "Uncle Phil, I think we need to nip this thing in the bud." "Oh, it's just a phase, Will." "Just a phase." "Just a phase?" "We worked our fingers to the bone to put him through school." "He's about to throw it away and I'm the only one who wants to do anything?" "It is a sad, sad day when Will Smith becomes the voice of reason." "I said stop it!" "Stop that!" "Oh, Geoffrey, who am I kidding?" "I can't do any of this." "I've even heard rumblings that I'm not any fun." "Nonsense, Miss Hilary." "Now, Master Carlton, he's no fun." "But you're a splendid young lady with a lot to offer." "If you just pick something you like and are good at those girls will have a wonderful time with you." " Geoffrey, do you really mean that?" " No." "It just seemed the right thing to say." "We gotta talk, boy." " Will you excuse us for a second, please?" " See you later, Pins." "Pins?" "What is that short for, pinhead?" "No, it is not." "What happened to the guy whose biggest dream was to go to Princeton?" "Look, I used to have a lot of dreams, Will." "I used to dream that I was being chased by hot dogs and doughnuts." "But it's just a dream." "It means nothing." "This is reality." "Carlton, this isn't reality." "This is stupid." "Will, my dad supports me." "Why can't you?" "Your dad isn't thinking straight." "The man's hopped up on a 25-year-old Twinkie." "Will, you're just wasting your time." "You don't wanna bowl." "You wanna go to Princeton." "No." "My dad wants me to go to Princeton, I wanna bowl." "You wanna go to Princeton, but you're just afraid." "Oh, I see what this is." "Will, you're suffering from Pins envy." "Carlton, me envious of you?" "Oh, I see it, Will." "I mean, why shouldn't you be?" "I'm going to be a professional athlete." "Professional?" "Carlton, you can't even beat me." "Ha!" "Okay." "Let's have a match." "Just you and me." "Oh, okay." "You win, do what you wanna do." "I win, you gonna take your butt to Princeton." "Now, that's stupid." "What?" "You a little chicken there, bro?" "Oh, go ahead." "Teach him a lesson, Pins." "And by the way, I have a coffee break in 15 minutes." "Okay." "You're on." "Phew." "Well, well, well." "I'm surprised you showed." "Why don't you just save yourself the embarrassment?" "Go home, start getting packed for Princeton." "Oh, yeah?" "Well, why don't I not and say I did?" "Well, it looks like we don't need to do no more talking." "Let's just grab our balls." "Whoa." "Looks like I just need three pins to win and there's four standing up there." "I've got three-out-of-four chance." "Bye-bye." "Crash through the line of blue" "And send the backs on 'round the end" "I love it." "Wait a..." "All right." "Wait a minute." "My shoe." "My shoe..." "My shoe stuck." "But..." "That's a do-over." "That's not..." "No, hold up." "No, that's a do-over." "That's..." "No." "Somebody paged me right when I went..." "Right when I was..." "Right when I was doing this, somebody paged me." "Hilary, how's it going with your little Blue Birds?" "Terrific." "We finally found something that we can really connect on." "Where are they?" "Come on, girls." "Hurry it up." "Last one in the sauna is gonna get clogged pores." "Hey, Uncle Phil." "That Carlton's gonna be some bowler, huh?" "Oh, Will." "Carlton's not gonna be a bowler." "It's just a phase." "He is not gonna throw his life away bowling." "Heh, heh." " He's not?" " Like I said the best thing we can do is just to steer clear of him." "Uh-huh." "Okay." "Well, see I kind of took a different approach." "I kind of, like, steered right at him, you know what I'm saying?" "I think I may have strengthened his resolve to throw his whole life away." "But I just wanna say to you, I don't think that should affect our relationship." "What are you talking about?" "Oh, so you need further elaboration." "Well, see, Uncle Phil, now, you know I know I can beat Carlton at any sport, right?" "But then I had found out bowling ain't no sport." "Shh." "You know, so Carlton's not going to Princeton." "He's going to join the PBA." "I'm gonna go get a grub, want me to make you something?" "Will, I find out that you contributed to my son not going to Princeton you will be picking my shoe leather out of..." " Hi, y'all." " Hey." "Look, it's Pins." "Son, I think it's about time we had a little talk." "Oh, I think we should." "You're darn skippy, we should." "You're darn skippy y'all should." "Carlton, you're right." "It's always been my dream for you to go to Princeton." "But it's been yours also." "I never pushed you." "I know." "I just freaked out." "When I got accepted and you brought down that box of achievements I just realized that I could never measure up to you." "I got scared." "Son, this is not a competition." "And it's perfectly natural for you to feel the pressure and get mixed up and start bowling." "But bowling never solves anything, it just makes things worse." "Oh, I know that now." "Oh, sure, it offered a quick high, cheap thrills and fast women, but who wants that?" "I'm a Princeton man." "Son, I have always been proud of your achievements." "The only question in my mind is if Princeton is good enough for you." "Yeah?" "Do you think I should hold out for Harvard?" "No." "Listen." "There are always gonna be things that I'm better at than you and you'll be better at than I am." "Oh, you mean like bowling." "Well, I'm sure there are a lot of things, but bowling?" "Oh, no." "No, no, no." "Not bowling." "Dad, I can beat you at bowling." "You want a piece of me?"