"This programme contains some strong language" "I've applied for a job!" "As what?" "Saul's a property developer." "You having another drink... or not?" "Hey, Bouncer!" "We're not done yet." " What's his name?" " Trevor." "Do we have joint custody?" "Well, I might want to visit him from time to time." "You gave me the curse." "I'm a werewolf." ""Thy God who thou serveth continually," ""He will deliver thee. "" "I wish you could see this." "Oh, we should go down there, man!" "Have a drink." "This is fine." "Oh, come on, it's the beginning of a new century!" "I saw the last one." "Two girls dancing on a car out there." "Do you think people actually did that?" "It's like..." "Fame." "Let me go." "I've changed my mind." "That's tough." "I'm not ready." "I remember saying that when I was tied to the chair." "Just let me out." "Just let me go out onto the street and..." "We can start tomorrow." "We've already started, Mitchell." "Dan!" "Let me out!" "Do you hear me?" "Let me out, you queer, or I'll rip your throat out!" "Apologise." "Piss off!" "Mitchell, please apologise." "I'm sorry, Dan." "I'm so sorry." "You OK?" "Yes." "Just leave us." "How long's this going to take?" "Depends." "To do it properly, maybe six months." "Why are you doing this?" "Because it's what you'd do for me, Mitchell." "So I chase him into someone's garden, and he's struggling so much I'm literally having to lie on him." "I'm thinking, "This has stopped being heroic now, this has got kind of funny. "" "Anyway, finally the police show up and they arrest me for trespassing!" "Yeah?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Great" "George!" "Excellent." "Come and meet the gang." "Saul you know." "Hey, George." "Mm." "And this is my boss, Hugh." "George and I live together." "Hi." "Hiya!" "All right?" "So, that's the gang!" "It's not really much of a gang, is it?" "It's just Hugh." "Hugh is the gang!" "Kool  The Gang!" "Except he's not very cool." "He's a member of Amnesty and he has an AUTOMATIC driving licence." "That's me." "Aw, love ya!" "I promised Annie I'd visit." "I hope you don't mind." "Not at all." "Two customers?" "We'll be talking about this for years." "Oh, and Saul was just telling us he tried to stop a burglar, but HE got arrested!" "Yeah, so it takes me two hours to convince them, but get this... the policeman is looking for a property like the one I was showing." "I make the sale, get in, to the policeman." "That's unbelievable!" "I know..." "Right..." "Isn't it?" "Yeah." "I've gotta scoot." "I'm meeting my architect at six at the site, so I'll pop by after?" "Oh, OK, great!" "Oh, hurray" "Man, I love this pub!" "It's so authentic, you know?" "Walk me to the door, land lover." "Aarrrgh!" "Aarrrgh!" "Sorry..." "What can I get you?" "Phff...!" "A Coke." "Someone's been sick in the shop." "Some days it's all about the poo but today everyone's... being... sick..." "So that was weird." "I don't know how to talk to you." "I know I came on too strong the other day, but now..." "Oh, my God, I've become my flatmate." "OK, look." "The replacement goldfish you gave me." "Trevor." "I love him, we have such a laugh." "He was... the perfect gesture." "And that's the speed I'm comfortable with." "Not forever, but just until I get my head..." "Trevor was genius." "So what do we do now?" "Do I buy you another goldfish?" "No." "No, see, you've gone weird again." "How about a coffee?" "I'm a huge fan of coffee." "All right, sir." "Cool." "So where are you going?" "Paramedics just brought in a DOA." "I've got to go and declare him." "Mmm." "Our lives are just one long rollover week." "Whoa!" "Helen." "Come and help." "Calm down... calm down." "What have we got here?" "Hi, everyone." "Yeah, found him in his flat." "Anonymous 999." "Forensics on their way." "I just need you to sign the thing." "Do you have a prime suspect?" "You don't have to answer, I just always wanted to say that." "We're, yeah, trying to find the flatmate so..." "Hello." "Puncture marks on the neck." "It's probably a gay thing, isn't it?" "A gay thing?" "Well, yeah, one bedroom flat." "Tickets for Sister Act on the corkboard." "You don't need to be Columbo." "Was there much blood at the scene?" "Not so's you'd notice." "The wounds are on an artery." "He should be drenched in the stuff." "So, puncture marks on the neck, the body exsanguinated..." "Drained of blood." "Now, what could that be?" "Ladies and gentlemen, somewhere in Bristol... is a gay vampire." "Count Spectacular." "Mince of Darkness." "D'you know what..?" "I bet he'd like to see my full moon!" "Wouldn't he?" "No?" "Mitchell, I think you should probably le... oh." "Hmm-mm." "What an interesting selection of food." "Well, I shall explain..." "Thank you." "You've just done the night shift, so for you it's breakfast time." "But, it's two in the afternoon, so technically it's lunch." "The feast before you now has been specifically designed to combine the best bits of those two iconic meals." "Eggs Benedict, choc-ice, can of ginger beer, cigarette." "Breakfast of champions." "Which isn't to say I approve of your smoking." "I've just given up the fight on that one." "Besides, you've done more to shorten my life expectancy than these could." "Er..." "I'll let you get on." "Oh." "Stay." "Please." "Stay, talk to me." "Look, I'll feel weird just sitting here, you know eating on my own, come on." "There you go." "Right..." "Eggs Benedict, a la George." "Another Perfect Recall." "Saul?" "What?" "Saul?" "Who's that?" "Hey, I'm over here." "For goodness sake." "Over here!" "That's right, Saul." "It's me, Terry Wogan." "Now look lively, we haven't got much time." "I need to talk to you about Annie, that lovely girl in the pub." "Annie?" "She's a cracker, isn't she?" "I think you and she make a smashing couple." "No..." "I..." "I want to help." "Nah, no." "This is one of them hidden-camera things." "'Fraid not." "Nah it is." "Oh, Duncan, you absolute bastard!" "This is about the corridor, Saul." "Perhaps you should sit down." "Until you had your little accident," "I can't say that I paid you much attention." "But the minute you walked into that pub and saw that lovely girl, I knew I had to lend a hand." ""Terence", I thought, "Lend a hand. "" "Look, I'm saying, "Tell her about the accident"." "The accident?" "And all the interesting things you saw." "It'll make you seem spiritual and vulnerable." "Oh, the ladies go potty for that." "Your face." "You look like you've seen a ghost." "George around?" "Upstairs." "Probably doing me a mix-tape." "I can imagine how hard this must be." "But there's stuff we can teach you, me and George." "What, like "sit" and "fetch"?" "Look, thank you." "But I'm, I'm fine." "Really." "I mean, I'm sure "werewolf" didn't come up when I spoke to my careers teacher but... yeah..." "But, yeah, life is full of disappointments." "So you adjust." "You move on to plan B." "Hey." "I'm off." "OK." "Um, it's shepherd's pie tonight." "I won't be home till late." "No worries." "Pop it in the micro." "OK." "She seems to be... coping." "I know." "It's terrifying, isn't it?" "George I need to talk to you." "So talk." "A dead body came in to the hospital." "Puncture wounds on the neck, all the blood drained." "Thing is," "I know him." "OK, who is it?" "Well, one of the times I properly tried to stop drinking blood, I was living with this vampire, Carl." "And he helped me." "He's been clean for like..." "I don't know, like, 20 years now." "Did you...?" "Sorry." "You lived with someone before me?" "What?" "Yeah, lots of people." "Lot..." "Who?" "!" "Vampires..." "People people..." "People, oh, I see." "Oh, God." "Don't get all..." "What?" "You!" "Don't get all you about this." "Of course I've lived with other people." "Do you think I've spent the last 100 years waiting for you and your three different types of upholstery cleaner to show up?" "Anyway." "After me, he lived with this other guy, Dan, a human." "And that's the body that came in." "So you think your friend killed him?" "No." "No." "That's, no." "They were lovers," "Carl adored him." "Well, have you spoken to him, to Carl?" "He's disappeared." "He's disappeared?" "It could have been anyone." "He's not like..." "Oh... if after all this time even he can't..." "It could have been anyone." "What will you do about the body?" "There's a process." "It'll be fine." "No, sorry, then I don't understand." "How did it get to the point where there is a body?" "I said it's fine." "I just want to know what's happened that's all." "Oh, hiya!" "How did your meeting with the architect go?" "'Welcome to Perfect Recall. ' Uh." "Yeah." "Fine." "Hugh's gone to visit his dad, so I'm in charge." "I think they're quite close." "I hope he's all right." "'Let's play Round Two. '" "I almost died." "What?" "And I thought, you know, because we're friends, it was something you should know." "Well, wh... what happened?" "I had a car accident." "I fell asleep at the wheel and drove into a bollard." "No-one was hurt." "Well, I was." "It's hard to believe, but I was pretty mashed up." "In fact," "I was technically dead for about six minutes." "You poor thing, that's, um... awful." "But that's not the, um..." "The thing that makes it still present in my mind, is what I saw." "Well, what did you see?" "It's stupid..." "No, no... please." "There was a corridor." "Bright white." "Like in the films." "Except it wasn't, because it was frightening." "Like when you dream and you have this terror." "Were you alone?" "No." "There were men there." "Men with sticks and rope." "I've seen it." "What?" "!" "A few years ago I was attacked." "It left me but I, I saw it." "I saw that exact same thing." "This is insane!" "For years I have wanted to talk to someone about this but..." "What on earth made you tell me?" "Just felt right, you know?" "Intuition." "It's been a real pleasure to have you with us." "Good work, son." "Afterwards..." "I, er," "I called the police from a phone-box." "I didn't want him left alone." "It was quiet in the flat, you see..." "He hated the quiet." "What happened, Carl?" "I'd been dreaming about blood." "And that frightened me." "When it happened he didn't even look frightened, he looked disappointed." "You think you're free of it, but it finds you." "All those years without it, it's like a bill... that has to be paid." "OK." "Look, this will take a bit of handling, so for the time being stay here." "Why did you let him die?" "Why didn't you recruit him?" "Because he was kind." "And if I had, when he came back, he may not have been kind any more." "Mitchell..." "You're a celebrity, you know." "Yeah, so people keep telling me." "No, he is not staying." "George..." "No, I'm trying to create some semblance of normality for Nina, and you bring this into our house?" ""This"?" "Don't call him "this"." "Mitchell, it's not just your house, it's not just your decision." "It's what you'd do for me." "Now it won't take long." "I promise." "Mitchell..." "Transcripts from the house." "17:00 hours yesterday till 15:00 hours today." "There's a section you should look at." "It's a conversation between the Type 1 and the lover of the Type 3." "The nurse." "Until now we thought she was just a sympathiser, but..." ""There's stuff we can teach you." ""Like 'sit' and 'fetch', thank you, but I'm fine really I mean" ""I'm pretty sure 'werewolf'" ""didn't come up when I spoke to my careers teacher," ""but life is full of disappointments. "" "The possession has spread." "Forgive me for saying, sir, but I don't understand why we haven't contained them already." "The three types have never cohabitated like this before." "The professor believes it presents a valuable opportunity to watch them "interact"." "What's more, all three have now constructed identities that allow them to present themselves as human." "Yes." "But what do you think?" "Beasts should be put in cages." "Infections should be cauterized." "As I'm sure this young lady would agree." "The next full moon is in 22 days and we don't have a Type 3." "Saul says that you have to look at the recession as opportunity." "Saul says that's what development is all about." "In Japan crisis and opportunity are even the same word, Saul says." "Hmm." "But he couldn't quite remember if it was Japanese or Chinese." "You are being careful, aren't you?" "Thanks, but I think I'm a bit old and dead for the contraception conversation." "You've only been here a week and you've already got two blokes chasing after you." "Things could get messy, and the last thing we need is more messy." "Two blokes?" "Yes, two..." "Saul and, er..." "Hugh." "Hugh?" "He's like a brother to me!" "Oh, promise me you will never tell him that." "I think he's really sweet!" "Really sweet?" "Oh, my God, why not just stab him in the face?" "!" "A brother?" "Annie trust me, the only man who would ever want to hear that is your actual brother." "Well, no, I..." "I think you're wrong about him." "I don't think he sees me like that." "Fine." "Saul clearly does." "Saul and I have a lot in common." "What's that supposed to mean?" "Listen, you've got to let me do this." "OK, I cannot spend the rest of eternity just... spectating." "I don't want you to get hurt, that's all." "No, neither do I." "But that risk, it's all part of the deal." "Are you sure about Hugh?" "I know that look." "I've given people that look." "Usually while they're giving that look to someone taller." "See you back at the ranch." "Still got it." "You must be Nina." "I'm Carl." "Friend of Mitchell's." "I'll be staying for a couple of days." "Yeah." "I saw him at work." "I'll try to stay out of your way." "I just, er..." "Everyone had gone to bed so I thought I'd sneak down." "Do what you want." "It's not my house." "Did Mitchell tell you why I'm here?" "He told me enough." "You're not in any danger." "I want you to know that." "You killed someone." "Sounds pretty dangerous to me." "You don't understand." "You got that right." "Don't be too hard on George." "He'll know what he's done." "And if he loves you just a fraction..." "Whoa, whoa, whoa." "This is your business, how precisely?" "Well, it isn't." "There's a..." "Just felt important that I say that to you." "Two months ago, I lost control, the worst that could happen was..." "But now?" "We shouldn't be in houses, in streets, where there's children." "There are safeguards you can put in place." "Things go wrong." "Christ knows we're both proof of that." "I'm..." "I'm radioactive now." "That's how it feels." "Trust me." "He knows what he's done." "Is that my shepherd's pie?" "Mmm." "Quite possibly." "George made it." "It's good." "Mmm." "He's a good cook." "So, Gay Vampire Man." "Are you actually calling him that?" "It's shorthand." "We use it all the time, like, "creepy self-harm girl"" "or "accidentally-sat-on-wine-bottle man" so "gay vampire man"." "Forensics do their thing and the body gets taken to the pathologist." "I bet you anything the cause of death will be completely dull." "Exactly, it looks exciting, but it'll turn out that the guy had a heart attack." "And the wounds on his neck were because," "I don't know, the cat started to eat him." "And there was loads of blood, but the policeman missed it because, well, clearly he was an idiot!" "You'd actually find that disappointing, wouldn't you?" "I'm in a new city, I have no social life, apart from West Wing box-sets." "You've no idea how much a gay vampire would liven up my week." "So what did the pathologist say?" "Heart attack." "Mmm." "I'm sorry for your loss." "Mmm, but I haven't finished." "The police aren't satisfied with that, so they've asked the coroner to commission a second post-mortem with a different pathologist and the coroner's approved it." "Who's the coroner?" "He did say the name..." "Quincy?" "No, no, he's the one on TV." "Quinn." "That's him." "Isn't it great?" "The plot thickens." "So, I was thinking that we could go out this afternoon." "If... if you're free, obviously." "Erm, we could see a film." "What... me and you?" "Yeah." "But don't feel obligated or anything, you can say no and we'll just be weird with each other from now on, and that's absolutely fine." "No." "I'd like that very much." "Smashing." "Good." "Good." "Great, yeah." "I'm just gonna go over there and sneak glances at you from behind my copy of Take A Break." "All right." "Get in!" "I've got my eye on you." "You're not the only one!" "You might have Annie fooled with your face and your... hair, but you don't fool me." "What's so funny?" "Oh, God..." "You." "You're funny." "Anyway, too late." "Annie just asked me to see a movie with her." "Annie did?" "Mmm, what would you recommend?" "I won." "You lost." "Move on." "I'll see you later, yeah?" "Mm-hmm." "Two days ago a DOA came in to the hospital." "The pathologist said the cause of death was a heart attack." "The police weren't satisfied so they applied for a second post-mortem, which you approved." "And?" "The man was killed by a vampire." "I know." "I thought we were clear." "The pathologist does what he can, but if it gets bumped up, you kill it." "It doesn't get bumped up." "Herrick keeps things away from my desk." "Herrick's gone." "I'm handling this." "What happened to him?" "Politics." "That figures." "I've not had my envelope for six weeks now." "We're in a transitional period." "Even so, the deal..." "The deal's off." "Do you want a raise?" "Is that what this is about?" "The deal is off." "I caught a glimpse of what my life would have been like without this." "For ten years," "I've been abetting the slaughter of fathers and mothers and daughters and sons." "Herrick said your kind were a facet of nature, like a tiger or an earthquake." "You're not, you're just murderers." "You think it's noble, what you're doing?" "It's suicide." "We all have a role." "One slip, one fucking Road to Damascus moment, and everything gets exposed." "But it won't just be the vampires, it'll be everyone." "All the people that cover for us." "Then I shall take the consequences." "I want to look my grandchildren in the eye, even if it's just for a day." "Some say you had to drug him first, others say you begged for a place in the New World, and when Herrick refused, you killed him." "I've even heard he escaped and is building an army in Europe." "What really happened?" "You know, I'm curious." "He came in." "I changed." "I tore his head off." "Fair enough." "I don't give a shit about Herrick." "Right, so what is this about?" "Do you remember when you were a kid?" "Mmm?" "Everything seemed so important to you." "You'd feel such rage, such love." "Then you get older and it's as though the years have worn all that passion away and at 237, I don't feel anything." "So I wake up, I drink coffee..." "I think about you." "I assume I should kill you." "Look, I know you screwed Daisy." "But what did you tell her?" "What did you say, that made her feel again?" "It's complicated, er..." "She was going to kill her daughter... .. and I convinced her not to." "Oh." "I wanted it to be something I could understand." "I never had kids." "What about you...?" "Are you erm, are you with someone at the moment?" "I mean, you know, in general?" "Like a girlfriend?" "Uh-huh." "You love her?" "Very much." "Ah." "That must be nice." "Seven quid for the tiniest bag of sweets?" "!" "Mind if I put the telly on?" "I mean, I know I haven't been to the cinema in a while, but seven quid?" "It's like we're living in Zimbabwe." "Did you spend the entire film thinking about the sweets?" "HE LAUGHS" "What's so funny?" "Oh, sorry." "What can I get you?" "Wine?" "Oh, um, no, I'm fine, thanks." "Coffee?" "Goes straight through me." "Are you hungry?" "I've got olives and these weird Italian biscuit things." "Erm, I actually..." "I don't like to eat or drink in front of people." "It's a bit bonkers, I know, but, yeah..." "Please, you go ahead." "Hello." "Hello." "Oh, er, cheers." "Cheers." "Is it the football?" "What?" "The news, is there a match on?" "Oh, um." "Yeah." "Does it bother you?" "No, no, no, go for it." "Go on." "She wants you to." "She's so pretty, go on." "Your flat's beautiful." "So are you." "Go on, give her a kiss." "Go on." "Girls like a kiss." "Give her a kiss." "Cheers." "That's it." "Go on." "I'm so glad I met you." "That's it." "Go on." "Ditto." "Go on." "I think it was a higher power." "I think it was fate." "Can I kiss you?" "What?" "Now?" "Today?" "She's ready." "Go on." "Get in." "Come on." "Take control, take charge." "Go on, then." "You know what you want to do and you know what I want you to do, so go on then." "Jesus, Saul!" "You're so cold..." "Come on, son!" "Come on!" "Give it some!" "What the fuck was that?" "!" "The door's locked." "What?" "!" "Get undressed." "Shit." "You did what?" "Sort of disappeared." "Right." "But that's OK because by disappeared you mean got away." "Oh, Mitchell, you been working out?" "Oh, that's just fantastic!" "He was all over me!" "It was a reflex!" "But he's a human, he's a civilian!" "This is the last thing I need right now." "Oh, no, you're right, he should have picked a more convenient time to assault me." "That's not what I meant and you know it." "OK." "OK!" "One thing at a time!" "God!" "Annie, Annie, are you all right?" "Yes." "A bit shaken." "But thank you." "Good." "Now then, Saul." "Even if he were to say something, no-one would believe him." ""This girl just teleported out of my room. " They'll think he's crazy." "Well, let's hope so." "You know, I think it's a bit rich, you taking the moral high ground." "I think I'm owed a couple of screw-ups." "Annie, sssh." "For the time being, stay in the house." "If Saul comes looking for you, then we'll..." "Well, I don't know." "We'll get rid of him." "Well, what about my job?" "My shift starts in half an hour." "What about Hugh?" "Oh, you can forget about the job." "What?" "!" "Look, can you just go away, please, you're really not helping." "With pleasure." "Carl!" "He's not here." "What?" "Where is he?" "I don't know, he's your murdering fugitive." "If you want to keep him, you've got to look after him." "What is it with me and volatile unsuitable men?" "Be honest with me, am I Ulrika Jonsson?" "And thank you, for not saying "I told you so. "" "As if I would." "You were thinking it though." "I'm not." "Yeah, you were." "I am not!" "I..." "I wanted to get some photos." "I realised I didn't have any photos to take with me." "Carl, there's a problem." "The coroner won't cover for us any more." "What?" "I don't think he'll go to anyone, but he won't lie." "So if they come to him, if they ask him what he's done, he'll tell them." "He'll be destroyed." "He says the compromise is worse than the punishment." "And if all this comes out, first they'll come looking for you." "The police, everyone." "They will tear the city apart." "So we need to get you out of here." "But then they'll come for you." "Not necessarily." "You spoke to him, you identified yourself as a point of contact." "If they can't find me, they'll come for you." "Why?" "Why, why is he doing it?" "!" "Because we're murderers, Carl." "Herrick used to say we were like a secret..." "Herrick?" "!" "Herrick was a bigot and a megalomaniac, they say shit like that, Mitchell." "I know." "I was safe... .. and look what happened." "Maybe it's time to stop." "No, no, no." "You're not ready, not yet." "I'm so tired." "OK." "Listen, here's what we're going to do..." "# Serve God, love me and men" "# This is not the end" "# Live unbruised we are friends" "# And I'm sorry" "# I'm sorry... #" "Police." "Yeah, hi, erm..." "I'd like to report an incident I saw earlier on today..." "Yeah, I saw this guy breaking and entering into a crime scene..." "Look, I'm, I'm just telling you what I've seen, OK..." "# Sigh no more, no more... #" "Oh, I have to go." "OK, OK, bye." "Thank you." "# My heart was never pure... #" "Andy, just need your signature..." "# And you know me... #" "# Oh man is a giddy thing" "# Serve God, love me and men" "# This is not the end" "# Live unbruised we are friends" "# And I'm sorry... #" "We'll bring you more on the developing situation in Stockholm following that reported explosion, as we get it." "Now the headlines again..." "All women are whores." "Mate, I am so sorry." "What a bitch, leading you on like that." "It just goes to show you, they're whores, every one." "Although that's hardly fucking news, right?" "You don't understand." "She disappeared." "Ye-eah." "We were gonna tell you about that." "OK, here's the thing..." "Annie's dead." "What?" "Well, it's complicated." "She's in limbo." "She should be here with us, but she's turned death down." "It's pissed off some very important people." "They want her back." "Annie..." "Annie's dead?" "Yeah, it's a lot to take in, I know." "Look, pour yourself a nice big drink and I'll tell you all about it." "Tell you what, I'll join you!" "And then afterwards, maybe you'd like to go for a drive, to clear your head." "Ow!" "Annie?" "Oh, Hugh." "I'm so sorry." "I should have called." "Are you OK?" "You didn't turn up for your shift, I was worried." "Oh, gosh." "Were we rushed off our feet?" "You have been to my pub, haven't you?" "I rung a few times but there was no answer." "So I..." "Right, that was you." "I thought it was Saul, so I didn't answer." "Right." "We, erm, spent the afternoon together." "Right." "He..." "It didn't go very well." "So now I'm peeping through letter boxes and not answering phones." "That's generally a bad sign." "Mmm." "Would you like a cup of tea?" "Oh, please." "Take your pick." "Are you expecting people or...?" "Oh, no, I just like to make tea." "Oh!" "Which one's yours?" "None of them." "I don't like to eat or drink in front of... people." "Wow!" "I sound mental." "Not at all!" "We all have eccentricities." "You know, when I was a kid, I used to make Plasticine models of Tessa Sanderson and Fatima Whitbread and I used to make them have fights." "Let's never discuss that." "Oh..." "What happened?" "I mean, you don't have to tell me." "What did he do?" "You know, it's none of my business." "You going to see him again?" "I never liked him." "But, obviously, you might make it work, in which case I'll..." "No, he's a twat." "I..." "I wanted to be normal." "A normal girl kissing a normal boy." "I wanted to escape Just for a second." "Escape from what?" "Me." "The girl who can't eat or drink." "But she's wonderful." "Oh, my God, I'm so sorry..." "It's fine, it's fine." "Then why did you...?" "Annie, I've wanted to kiss you from the moment I saw you." "But not like this." "All my life I've been the consolation prize." "And I can't do that any more." "You're so beautiful." "I'd move mountains, I'd kill bears." "But I need you to want to kiss ME." "So what do we do?" "I'll wait." "It's you." "This whole time, there you were." "So, what now?" "Well, it's no longer a murder investigation because of your suicide." "It's now just a misplaced body." "It's weird and it's embarrassing, but no-one's going to make much of a fuss about it." "So I become an admin error, just forgotten?" "Yeah, I guess so." "50 years and still the same car." "Been keeping her in storage." "You know what it's like." "If it goes, has a good body and you like being inside it, why get rid of it?" "It's a recipe for a happy marriage too." "Why did it have to be Ivan?" "You said it was some kind of merchant ship, right?" "Yeah, I know the captain." "They've got papers for Carl." "Do you reckon he could pass as Brazilian?" "Yeah, maybe." "I'll go and get him." "Thanks for doing this, Ivan." "I just want to get this over with." "What, you think this ends tonight?" "This is just the beginning!" "Today it's Carl, tomorrow it's someone else." "Like I said, you're sliding into chaos, and there's no safety net." "They've been in hiding since Herrick died, but they'll get hungry soon, then you'll be waking up to headlines about vampires." "What are they discussing do you think?" "I don't know." "Come on." "If we did declare ourselves, not the way Herrick wanted, but if we could just stop hiding." "What, are you imagining some kind of peaceful co-existence?" "It'd be chaos!" "Worldwide panic." "Good news for religion, mind, especially Christianity." "There'd be standing room only in the churches all of a sudden." "As soon as they knew about vampires, they'd know about werewolves, they'd know about ghosts." "They'd be next." "And when humanity had finally finished with us, it would turn on itself." "First the other religions, massively in the minority now, then the homosexuals, the disabled..." "Do you want to know what the future looks like?" "Enforced worship in churches a mile high and every country surrounded by a coral reef of bones." "But fuck it." "Maybe it should happen." "There's nothing on TV at the moment." "Hey, Carl!" "You ready, killer?" "Thank you for helping me." "To be honest," "I'm only doing this because Mitchell asked me to." "I don't think you should get away." "That makes two of us." "Look after him." "Come on, Mitchell." "Take care of yourself." "OK, two rules for Ivan's car - no food or drink and I get to choose the music." "And tonight we shall be listening to Miss Kate Bush." "Hey, George!" "Daisy says hi." "# Out on the wiley, windy moors" "# We'd roll and fall in green... #" "There was a time when you wouldn't have done this." "I only set off the fire alarm." "No, you didn't." "He's been involved in a road traffic accident." "He's got a serious head injury." "There was two other vehicles." "Is there any more, any more?" "Come on, Saul." "Shit." "The fire crew had to cut him out." "They think he was..." "There was a vodka bottle on the seat next to him." "Was anyone else hurt?" "That's why he's in here." "There were two spare beds in ICU, but the couple in the car he hit have got those." "Oh, my God." "George." "Can I talk to you?" "Erm, yep." "Yeah." "I'll be just outside." "OK." "And should that...?" "Should that, should that be on, George?" "Oh..." "Mitchell!" "Look, this is getting insane, so the suicide who came in a few hours ago, the one who killed Gay Vampire Guy..." "Uh-huh?" "The body's gone." "The body of that man who was staying at the house, a body that I saw get declared dead three hours ago." "How about that?" "!" "Yeah, but I declared him." "And was he breathing?" "Always check that, cos if they're breathing, they're usually not dead." "Mitchell, this is... this is serious." "I mean, what if I got it wrong?" "What if he was alive and just woke up?" "Can you imagine how that would look?" "You let him out?" "The dead man from the morgue." "We've put him on a container ship to Brazil." "Of course you have!" "Anything else would be absolutely insane." "Is this the next stage?" "Is this what will happen to me?" "What will I be doing in two years' time?" "What will I consider an average day?" "This will all blow over." "The whole thing." "Yeah, once some poor guy's lost his fucking job." "You have to understand the reality we inhabit now." "A reality that includes aiding and abetting a murderer and body snatching." "My God, you've lost your way." "I heard that they found a load of occult stuff in the guy's house." "What?" "Pictures and shit." "So chances are it'll turn out to be a fetish thing." "Oh, come on, you know those people." "They work in IT, but at the weekends they put on frilly shirts and make out they're in a Gothic novel." "The fellas pretend to be Dracula and the women all have heaving breasts under their nighties." "Then they get changed and it's back in the Ford Focus." "So, erm, rather than my mistake or a clerical error, the hope is some sex cult stole his body." "Mmm, fingers crossed." "You're weird." "Buy me a drink." "What?" "A drink drink." "Tuesday or Wednesday are good for me." "OK." "Erm, let me, let me have a look at my shifts..." "Yeah, you do that and if you see the guy I declared dead walking round... kill him." "Saul?" "Saul!" "Hello?" "Hell-o?" "Hello?" "I need some help!" "What's happening?" "I'm so cold." "Saul, you're..." "You're dead." "You're dead, Saul." "You just died." "I..." "I was sitting right there and you..." "What's that?" "Oh, my God." "This must be why we were supposed to meet." "So that I could help you pass over." "She's wrong, Saul." "Hello, Annie." "Oh, how we've missed you." "What did it just say?" "You heard that too?" "Have you noticed, Annie?" "You can't disappear." "Stop her, Saul!" "No, no, wait..." "Ow!" "We've got you trapped like a fly under a glass." "Buzz, buzz, buzz." "Now, Saul." "Get her through the door." "No, please don't." "Please don't." "No, no." "George!" "No!" "No!" "Let go of me!" "Let go of me!" "No!" "We needed you here, we needed the door." "So we scraped you up and brought you back." "No!" "No!" "Please don't!" "Please don't." "Come along, Saul." "Tip her into our arms." "No, stop!" "Let me go!" "We've all manner of tricks and wheezes waiting for her." "That's the ticket!" "We'll let you live, Saul." "You'll spring back to life, as fresh and crisp as a daisy." "Please, no!" "No!" "# Ya da-dee-da. #" "It's not my door!" "Get off!" "Annie?" "George!" "George!" "Help me, George!" "Annie!" "The gang's all here." "Men with ropes and men with sticks..." "George!" ".. and men with black, black feathers on their black, black wings." "George!" "There are no prizes for kindness." "You've said that." "Annie!" "Mercy is a ticket to failure." "Annie!" "Astounding work, Saul." "Quick as you like." "Help me." "You don't want our rascals coming out there." "I can't!" "Oh, God." "What are you doing?" "!" "I can't." "Saul..." "What was that?" "Nina." "Don't do this." "I understand, I really do." "But it's gonna take time to adjust." "Adjust?" "You've gone native, the three of you." "Maybe I'm being naive, maybe it's a consequence of your condition." "Our condition." "I don't know." "Your humanity, this thing you're..." "Are you protecting it?" "Are you looking for it?" "Do you even know?" "Because take it from me, it's long gone." "And this house accelerates it." "It's insane here." "You've got monsters and killers and, my God, that man." "You helped him escape." "What have you said to George?" "I've written him a letter." "Jesus, Nina, a letter." "He gets... a letter." "I love him, I really do." "I mean, sickening, stomach-turning love, practising my signature with his second name kind of love, but I look at him now and I want to pull chunks of flesh from his face." "Good luck." "You too." "Nina?" "Hello, Nina." "I'm sorry, do I know you?" "Fine." "Good." "I'm fine." "Now, I'm going to work." "See ya." "Hugh!" "Hugh!" "Morning." "I shouted at you, didn't you hear me?" "What's wrong?" "You pissed off with me?" "I don't get it." "Hugh?" "Talk to me." "Hey, Saul." "You're barred." "What a dick." "Hugh?" "Hugh, can you see me?" "Oh, God." "Can you hear me, Hugh?" "Oh, God." "Not again." "Please." "Not this again." "If you want this to work, you'll have to come up with more than "you're implicated. "" "Two bodies came into the hospital." "Our hope is that'll enable us to make an arrest." "You will not feed and if anyone steps out of line," "I'll kill you myself." "Are you coming back, Nina?" "Long live the king!" "Long live the king!" "Long live the king!"