" Who was the first president of the United States?" " Oprah!" " George washington." "[dings] [applause]" " What is the capital of alaska?" " New york!" " Juneau." " How many sides are on a triangle?" " 8!" "No, 4!" "No, 8!" " 3." "[dings]" " Name an ingredient in spaghetti and meatballs." " Oranges!" " Meatballs." " You've just won a million dollars!" " Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Yeah-- [cheering]" " How is it that that dummy won a million dollars" "And I've never won anything?" " Oh, I'm sure it's just a matter of time." " It'd better be, because I don't want to end up" "A bitter, jealous person." "Say, I should go on a game show!" " What game show are you qualified for?" " Uh, "wheel of words"?" " You don't know how to spell." " How about "price is correct"?" " How much do you think this pack of gum sells for?" " $33,000?" " Good luck with that." "[clicks]" " Stay tuned for the new game show "besties,"" "Where knowing all about your best friend leads to big prizes." " [gasps] we should go on that." "We've been best friends forever." "We know everything there is to know about each other." " I never thought I would say this," "But that's not a bad idea, daffy duck." " Why, thank you, bugs..." "Uh..." "I want to say, uh, bada-bling?" "Captioning made possible by warner bros." "Animation [distant dog barking]" " I did it!" "I got us on tomorrow's episode of "besties!"" " How'd you manage that?" " There are some things you shouldn't know about me." "But you better know everything else!" " I'm more concerned with how little you know about me." " I know everything about you." "Hit me with some questions." "Go ahead." " All right." "What's my favorite color?" " Pass." " What time do I go to bed at night?" " Pass." "Give me something easy." " Fine." "When's my birthday?" " Janu..." "Febr..." "Septem..." "December..." "Jul" "July!" "July first." "July second." "July third." "July fourth." "Fifth!" "Sixth!" "Seventh!" "Eighth!" "Ninth!" "Tenth!" " 27th." " July 27th!" "Well, happy extremely belated birthday," "Or..." "[whirring]" " Happy extremely early birthday." "[screams] - hey, speedy." " Hola, bugs." " You said you took care of the rat problem." " I'm not a rat." "I'm a mouse." "[door opens and shuts]" " You don't know anything about me." "I bet if you look "self-absorbed" up in the dictionary," "You'd find your picture." " My picture's in the dictionary?" "Is it a good one?" "What am I wearing?" "Does my beak look big?" "Aha." "Gotcha!" " This is hopeless." " Don't get mad at me." "Those questions were impossible." "I bet you don't know when my birthday is." " Your birthday is April 17th." "Your favorite color is dusty rose," "And you go to bed every night at 10:00" "Except on new year's eve," "When you go to bed at 8:30 because, and I quote," ""new year's is a holiday invented by the media."" " It is!" " Forget it." "Find a different best friend to go on that show." " But I need you!" "I prize prizes above all else." "This is my shot at finally winning something." "I'll do anything!" " Even if it means focusing on someone other than yourself" "For more than 2 minutes?" " That sounds awful." "But I'll do it." " [new England accent] well, daffy," "You know how I hate to talk about myself," "But leave us turn back the clock." "It was on the east side of new york" "Where me parents resided amidst humble surroundings." " [snoring]" " [normal voice] did I say new york?" "I meant the planet krypton." " [grunts]" " Anywho, my parents knew that our planet was doomed." "[orchestra performing "superman theme"]" " So my father, jor-el..." "Built this spaceship." " His dense molecular structure will make him strong." "He'll be fast" "Virtually invulnerable," "And he'll say "what's up, doc?" indiscriminately," "Whether he's speaking to a doctor or not." "You will travel far, my little bugs." "But we will never leave you." " You're from the planet krypton?" " No, you maroon!" "That's the story of superman." " Who is superman?" " I can't believe I hitched my wagon to you." " You have a wagon?" " Daffy!" "Concentrate!" "On me!" " Oh!" "Sorry, superman." " [groans] this is going to be a long night." " And now, here's your host reswith the most,!" "Chuck berost!" "[cheering and applause]" " Hey, thanks, everybody!" "Let's meet our contestants." "First up, bugs bunny and daffy duck." " What's up, doc?" " It's a pleasure to be here, chuck." "I'm a big fan." " Tell me, how long have you two known each other?" " 17 years." " 5 years." " Looks like you two better get on the same page." "[laughter] and now, let's meet your challengers." " Hello." " Hello." " Oh, I'm sorry." "After you." " Oh, no, after you." " No, after you." "I insist." " I insist more." " I have an idea." " Oh, you always have good ideas." "I can hardly wait to hear." " Well, you won't have to wait." "I'm about to tell you." " Oh, goody." " My idea is that" "We both speak simultaneously." " Wonderful idea!" "Both:" "Hello." " Bugs and daffy, looks like you've got some stiff competition." " Ok." "Here's the first question." "What is your roommate's favorite vegetable?" " Your favorite vegetable." "Hmm." "I'm going to go with beets, chuck." "[buzzer] - ohh!" " Uh-oh." "The correct answer was carrots." "You know what that means!" " [laughter]" " Challengers?" " Your favorite vegetable?" "Well, I know he loves cauliflower." " Guilty!" "I do love cauliflower." " But he has been known to ask for seconds" "When I make sweet potatoes." "[indistinct]" " You must try his sweet potatoes." "They are divine." " But if I had to pick his favorite vegetable," "I would have to say pureed butternut squash in a balsamic reduction" "With just a hint of clover." " That's correct!" "[applause] [dings]" " I knew you'd get that right!" " Well, I knew that you knew I'd get that right!" "[laughter]" " Next question." "What is your best friend's middle name?" " [giggles] that's an easy one." "Sheldon." "[buzzer] - aww!" "[laughter]" " Armando?" " You know what that means!" " [laughter]" " Bugs and daffy, you've got some catching up to do." "And you're going to have a chance after the break." "[cheering and applause] [theme music plays]" " Daffy, your middle name is sheldon." " That may be true, but armando sounds cooler." " Well, do you want to sound cool," "Or do you want to win?" " I want to win!" "[gulps]" " Well, then, we need a new strategy." "In the next round, whatever you're about to say, say the opposite." " That's a great idea!" "I mean, that's a horrible idea." "[clicks]" " Hello, competitors." " Hello!" " We wanted to wish you luck." " Thanks." " Don't you want to wish us luck?" " Not particularly." " I'll wish you luck." " Why, thank you." "And good luck to you as well." " [laughter] [applause] [theme music plays]" " Welcome back to "besties,"" "The show about best friends." " Remember, say the opposite." "[clicks]" " Tell me, who does your best friend most admire?" " I want to say me, but I guess I'll go with..." "Groucho marx?" "[dings] [applause]" " That's correct!" " I was going to say "take your daughter to work day,"" "But instead, I'll say "thanksgiving"?" "[dings] - correct!" "[applause]" " Everything in me is saying rockabilly," "But I'll go with smooth jazz." "[dings] [applause]" " Correct!" "[cheers]" " My gut says chocolate milk," "But I'm going to go with australia." "[dings] [applause]" " Correct!" " [cheers]" " This final question is worth 300 points." "What is your best friend's catch phrase?" " If friends were flowers, I'd pick you?" "[buzzer] - ohh!" " No, no." "It's "laugh, and the world laughs with you."" " Aww." " Uh-oh!" "You know what that means!" "[laughter] - ooh!" "Feathers!" " Oh, what fun!" "It's like a pillow fight!" " [laughing and talking indistinctly]" " Bugs and daffy, now you have a chance to win." "Daffy, what is bugs bunny's catchphrase?" " Hmm." "Think." "Catchphrase." " Really?" "I say it all the time." " I know this." "I know this." " It's sort of my go-to phrase." " It's right on the tip of my tongue." " It's in the form of a question." "I say it with a lot of sarcasm." "Ehh..." " I don't do mondays!" " Aww!" " Ooh, I'm sorry!" "We were looking for "what's up, doc?"" "And..." "Say it with me." " You know what that means!" " [scattered murmuring] [cheering and laughter]" " That means you're our winners!" "Gene, tell 'em what they won!" " A fabulous cruise!" " A cruise?" "[laughs] how exciting!" "We've always wanted to go on a cruise!" "[muffled music plays]" " That's your catchphrase?" ""what's up, doc?"" "What does that even mean?" "We don't even know any doctors." "[thumping] - ow!" "Ooh!" "Who's doing that?" "Ow!" "Oof!" "Oh!" "[grunting]" " "what's up, doc?" terrible." "Just the world's worst catchphrase." "And I don't remember you ever saying it." "Say it." " What's up, doc?" " Nope." "Doesn't ring a bell." "But it sure cost us the game." " What cost us the game was going on a game show about best friends" "When it's obvious that we're not." " You're saying I'm not your best friend?" "Why?" "Because I don't know anything about you?" "Because I never ask any questions" "Or show any interest in you?" "Because I take you for granted?" "Because if it is, that's awfully petty of you." " My best friend would probably know that I like carrots." "He would most likely know my birthday," "And he would definitely know my last name." "And for the record," "I would have loved to have won a cruise." "And that is what's up, doc." " That still doesn't sound right." "[birds singing and distant dog barking]" " Well." "If he's not going to open the door for me," "I guess I'll just let myself out." "Oh." "So I guess I also have to make my own breakfast?" "I guess I have to peel my own banana, too." " Hey, that's my banana!" " [gasps] a rat!" " For the last time, man, I'm a mouse!" " Bugs, help!" " Why should he help you?" "You didn't help him on that game show last night." "You know, you'd think you'd show señor bunny a little more respect," "Considering he lets you live here." " I don't live here." "I'm just crashing here until I get back on my feet." " Fyi, when you crash somewhere for 5 years," "You live there." "All right?" "You're not a best friend." "You're a terrible friend." " Why am I a terrible friend?" " Let me answer that question with a question." "[chomps]" "How many friends do you have besides señor bunny?" " Well, let's see." "You?" " I'm not your friend." " Ok, then." "There's that guy that comes over once a week," "And we hang out by the pool." "I think his name is fong or trang." " Are you talking about the guy who comes to clean the pool?" "[indistinct]" "You're kidding yourself, man." "Señor bunny is your only friend." "If you're not careful, soon, you'll have no friends." " Who needs friends?" " I'll tell you who" "Someone with no girlfriend, no job, no credit," "No hobbies, no social skills..." " Wait." "I think I know someone like that." "Daniel?" " No, idiot." "You." "You're nothing without señor bunny." " Then what do I do?" " You got to try harder to be his friend." " Like, how much harder?" "Two percent?" " More." " Five percent?" " More." " Seven percent?" "Are you out of your mind?" " 100%." " What?" "No one can give 100!" "It's physically impossible!" " You got to dig deep." "You got to go to the place inside you where you've never been." " My soul?" " You need to have a soul in order to go there." "No, no, no." "I'm talking about in here." "Now, try." " [gasps] [grunts]" "Ugh." "That's good enough, right?" " No." "Look at me." "You can do this." "Now, try." " [gasps and grunts] - harder!" " [grunting continues]" "It hurts!" " Harder!" " I'm dying!" " No!" "You're trying!" " [grunting]" "I'm going to be the best best friend" "That any best friend has ever had!" "[laughing]" " Uh-oh." " You can open your eyes now, best friend." " Huh?" "[foghorn]" " Guess what?" "I got you the cruise you wanted!" " The one from the game show?" " Surprised?" "Well, you shouldn't be." "It's just what one best friend would do for another best friend." "[salsa music playing] [sea gulls crying]" " Who knew cruising could be so much fun?" " I cannot remember the last time I had this much fun." " Hey, do you think it's possible to have too much fun?" " Hmm!" "Interesting question." "I guess there's only one way to find out." " Oh?" "And what might that be?" " Keep having fun!" " [both laugh] - game's over." "You've been hogging the court long enough." " Oh, hello!" " Fancy meeting you here!" " Move it along, gophers." "It's my best friend's turn." "Hey, bugsy, old pal." "A shuffle board court opened up!" " Daffy, I'm reading." "I don't want to play shuffleboard." " Yeah, me neither." "[splashes]" " Hmmph!" "There's only one thing to do about that." " Limbo contest on the leader deck?" " [both laugh] [metal scraping]" "[distant sea gulls cry]" " What's up, doc?" "Oh, is that just your thing?" "I don't want to step on any toes." "[smooth jazz music playing]" " Smooth jazz." "I know it's your favorite." " Do you mind?" " You done with that page?" "Just let me know when you're done." "I'll flip it when you're done." "Done yet?" "Done yet?" "Done yet?" "Aah!" "[music stops]" " I'll save your place!" " Whoo-hoo!" " Carrot?" "I know they're your favorite!" "[grunts] [toots] - aah!" " Happy 189 days until your birthday!" "[toots]" " I just saw my life flash before my eyes." " Ooh!" "Tell me all about it." "This time, I promise I'll listen." " Daffy, you got to back off." " Sure thing." "This good?" " More." " This good?" " More." " This good?" "Whoa!" "[banging] [crashes] - yeah." "That's good." " Is everyone enjoying the cruise?" " Oh, indeed!" "It's our first one." " And I must say, I'm a fan of cruising." " Oh, yes." "We're cruisers now." "[metal groans]" " Excuse me." "Excuse me pardon me." "Excuse me." "Coming through." "[metal groaning and dishes clanking]" " I wasn't sure what you wanted, so I brought you everything." " [giggles]" " Get your own buffet." "This one's for my best friend." " [crying]" " Daffy, you're embarrassing me." "[clinks]" " I'd like to propose a toast" "To the most important person on this ship." "Sit down, you glorified bus driver." "Ahem." "Ahem." "A rat once told me" "That friendship takes a lot of effort," "But I'm not interested in friendship." "I'm interested in best friendship." "And best friendship takes a whole lot more." "It means waiting on your best friend hand and foot," "Buying their affection." "Robotically memorizing every trivial little fact about them." " It means support them above all others." " Possibly to the detriment of those others." " Especially to the detriment of those others." " Best friends have all of the same interests..." " Whether those interests are interesting or not." " A best friend is someone you'd happily commit a crime for." " Any crime!" " No matter how heinous!" " The heinouser, the betterer." " Whoa, whoa, whoa." "That's not a best friend." "That's a stalker." "Daffy, I know I said you weren't my best friend," "But after these past few days," "Seeing all the effort you've put in," "Seeing how hard you've tried, I have to say..." "You got to stop trying." " What?" " It's not your thing." "Would it be nice if you remembered the occasional birthday" "Or food I'm highly allergic to?" "Sure." "But not if it means we turn into those guys." " No offense." "Both:" "None taken." " Daffy, you're a mean spirited, self-absorbed," "Disturbed little weirdo." "But for whatever reason, you're my best friend." " Ooh!" "[applause] [murmuring]" " You're my best friend, too, bugs bada-blingya." " Ehh." "Good enough." "[foghorn] [sea gulls crying]" " Seriously, how did you pay for all this?" " I used your credit card." "I memorized the number." "Hey!" "I do know something about you!" "They could have asked me that on the game show!" "It's 9481, 6400, 28-- [grunting] [muffled talking]" "Subs straight from CC"