"[Marc] Previously on Ugly Betty:" " What was your first impression of me?" " Um... [mock scream]" " What is this?" " A tracking device." "I will know where you are, every minute of every day." "I can't spend time with you and your girlfriend." "What does that make us?" " People who work in the same building." " Oh." " Your family is falling apart." " My family is coming together." "He said if I went through with the surgery," "I'd lose everything." "He'd rather I were dead." "You're here because of me." "Because of what I did." "I'm turning myself in." "I'm reporting live outside of Meade Publications, where Bradford Meade is expected to return to work tomorrow after his release from prison." "Arrested for the murder of Fey Sommers, all charges against him were dropped after his wife, Claire Meade, turned herself in late last night." "Now, let's get some reactions from some of the employees." " Excuse me." "Miss?" "Miss?" " No comment!" "No comment!" "Ow!" "No comment!" "No comment!" "Ow!" "[Justin laughs]" " [thud] - [Betty over TV] Ow!" " [Tape rewinding] - [Betty over TV] Ow!" " [Justin chuckles] - [Betty over TV] Ow!" " [Betty over TV] Ow!" " Hilda!" " Justin!" " I'm sorry!" "It just gets funnier every time." " Would you just get ready for school?" " Fine!" "[Sighs]" "So how are you doing anyway?" "And don't say "no comment."" "I don't know." "Ever since Ms. Meade's arrest, I just can't help but feel guilty." "I was the one who talked her into turning herself in." "Hey, you didn't talk her into anything." "She did what she felt she had to do." "How's Daniel handling this?" "He and Alexis aren't speaking." "Alexis and his father aren't speaking, and his mother is being detoxed before she can be arraigned." "See, it really makes you appreciate coming from a nice, normal family." "[Alarm wailing]" "Papi, what part of "house arrest" don't you understand?" "I just went out two feet to get the paper!" " [Phone ringing]" " I think that's for you." " Yes, Constance." " [Alarm continues]" "I just stepped out my front door." "I wasn't fleeing the country!" "OK." "I'm back inside now." "Happy?" "[Alarm stops]" "Dad, it's only four more weeks till your court date." "I can't live like a prisoner four more weeks." "I'm going stir-crazy in here!" "I'm starting not to remember the feel of rain, the smell of freshly mowed grass." "Papi, we live in Jackson Heights." "The grass smells like fried onions." "I got the message, I'll definitely be there at 9:00 on the dot." "[Gasps]" "I waited an hour and a half to do that." "I just came to get my things before..." " I'll come back later." " No." "No, no." "We still haven't had our beautiful father-son reconciliation." "Last time I saw you, things were so rushed." "With you having me arrested and all." "So this is the life you wanted so badly?" "Actually, in the life I wanted, you were behind bars." "And in the life I wanted, you were still a man." "You remember making me this?" "You were six." "After you disappeared," "I'd look at it to remind myself of the son that I'd lost." "Now it reminds me of the son I wish I'd never had." "You and I we're finished." " We were finished a long time ago." "Hey, I've been looking for you." "Look what I just scored." "New Prada store's opening tonight and Steve Aoki's DJ'ing." " Drinks beforehand?" " I can't, I have plans." " Who is he?" " My mother." "She's in town for another stupid cat show." "It's disgusting, her and a bunch of fancy pussycats." "Don't worry." "I'll skip Prada." "Your girlfriend is reporting for duty." " Where are the 3 of us going to dinner?" " Actually, you're not coming." "But it's your mother." "I'm the love of your life, remember?" "You're released from beard duty." "Consider yourself shaved." "Wait, what are you saying?" "Did you actually tell your mother that you are a ho..." "No!" "It's just..." "I've been telling her you're my girlfriend three years now, and she's pressuring me to buy the cow." "So you're saying we're over?" "And I'm fat?" "No!" "Just over." "Just like that?" "Sweetie, it's not you, it's me." "You are damn right that it's you!" "I'm the best pretend girlfriend you'll ever have." "Mandy!" "[scoffs]" "We'll always have that fake pregnancy scare!" "Oh, that was a real scare, you idiot." "It just wasn't yours!" "How are you feeling?" "Well, I've had better Mondays." "And better jewelry." "The shakes haven't started yet, but the sweating and the nightmares are a delight." "Oh, and they say I should be moving to the prison by the end of the week." "You should have let me stay in there." "I'm scared." "I'm here for you." " I hope you still are, after..." " After what?" "Hey." "How are you feeling?" "I've been talking with the lawyers and they think if we..." "That's not why I called you here." "What's going on?" "Your father tried to fire Alexis today." " Tried?" "I did." " But you can't." "She's your child, and she's your sister." "Now, I am probably going away for a very long time, and I want you all to be a family." "I don't think Alex wants to be part of any family, Mom." "Alexis!" "And she'll never be part of a family if you keep pushing her away." "Which is why I've convinced her to help you run Mode." " Is she on morphine?" " I wish." "Don't be ridiculous, Claire." "I decide who works for my companies." "I own Mode." "Actually, dear, you own Meade Publications." "Apparently, you've forgotten." "I own Mode." "Your mother owns this magazine?" "Since when?" "Since my dad needed a tax shelter and put it in her name." "So now she insists Alex and I be co-editors-in-chief and there's nothing anyone can do about it." "Maybe that's not a bad thing." "You and Alexis can get to know each other again." "And, now you only have to do half the work." "Half?" "Betty, there's no "half" with Alex." "You put us side-by-side in anything, she always has to win." "[Daniel] When we went jogging every morning it would be great." "But then at the very end, every time, he always had to pull ahead." "Just to remind me he could." "Yes!" "Daniel, you've done a great job running this magazine." "I know you can win this race." "It's like the tortoise and the hare..." "OK, I'm going to figure it out." "You can cross my pep talk off your list." "There will be more." "So, both of you are editors-in-chief?" "Alexis is an editor-in-chief." "Daniel is an editor-in-chief." "Seems like everyone in the room is an editor-in-chief except for me." " And me." "OK." "Here's how we're gonna split up responsibilities." "Wilhelmina, you are still Creative Director." "I'll write the Letter from the Editor and have final say on the book." " Wow, look at the big man in charge." " [Daniel] Somebody has to be." "Not all of us have time to fake our own death, disappear for two years." "Oh, God." "Are you still singing that old song?" "Daniel, you can be the boss of everything for all I care." "I don't want anything to do with you, Dad or this magazine." "[Daniel] Really?" "That's not what you told Mom, is it?" "Just stop, Daniel." "I'm done." "Have fun with your little magazine." "I, for one, have much bigger dreams." "Like what?" "A uterus?" "You can say it, but can you spell it?" "Do I need to be in this meeting?" "This meeting's over." "They really did take your balls away with that operation, didn't they?" " Excuse me?" " What is wrong with you?" "You're giving Bradford exactly what he wants." " He won!" "Game over." " Not necessarily." "Bradford doesn't want you anywhere near this magazine, right?" "So, splash yourself all over it!" "Your father will die of shame." "He wouldn't die." "Stroke, maybe." "Alexis, make Mode your own." "You approve the book, you write the Letter from the Editor." "Show the industry and your father who's in charge." "You mean, take it away from Daniel?" " Do you care?" " Not really." "Well, you really want to do this job, you should have an appropriate office like this one." "This is our new office?" "It has fluorescent lighting." "I will not be looked at under this merciless glare." "Patience, Blanche." "It's only temporary." "The minute Daniel sees her as a real threat, they'll be at each other's throats and then I'll have my pick of any office I want." "Thank God, you have a new plan." "We shall overcome, girlfriend." " You did not just say that." " [Stammers]" " [Cell phone rings] - [Gasps]" "Oh, my God." "Mommy, in the building." "[Elevator dings]" "[Cat meows, hisses]" " [Loud hiss] - [Hisses]" "[Cat growls]" "Hello, Amanda." "Hi, Mama Weiner." "Dear, I hate to be rude, but now that you've broken Marc's heart with your indiscretions, you should go back to Mrs. Weiner." " Indiscretions?" " Marc told me about the other men and women." "Drug addiction makes you do strange things." "But Marc says you're working on that, one day at a time." "Really?" "Marc told you all of that, did he?" "Mom!" " There's my Marky Marc!" " Hi!" "[Loud kisses]" "I thought you were going to the cat show then we were going to dinner?" "I had a "cat-tastrophy."" "Lady Buttons of Camelot lost a jewel on her collar." "That's a ten point penalty for appearance." "Can one of your fashion people fix it?" "Oh, of course!" "Fashion person... help?" "I would be happy to." "I just hope my drug and sex addictions don't get in the way." "Oh, Mom, why don't you go to the cafeteria and get some lunch and I'll bring the collar to you." "Wait!" "Marc, aren't you going to introduce your mom to your new love, in whose bosom you found comfort after dating a skank like me?" "You're dating someone new?" "Oh, look!" "And here she is." "This is Marc's new girlfriend, Betty." "Girlfriend?" "That's a good one, Amanda." "What's so funny?" "Well, you know, because Marc's... [gags]" "[Gags, groans]" "You haven't told your mom you're gay?" "I mean, isn't it a little..." "I don't know..." "I..." "It's just that you're so... sparkly." "She visits twice a year, she sees what she wants to see." "I can't believe I'm asking you this." "I need your help." "You need my help?" "Hmm." "The girl you've tortured for the last six months." "I think "tortured" is a little severe." "My second day, you tricked me into eating glue by telling me it was white chocolate." "I could've died." "I only let you eat two pieces." "Come on, Betty." "It would really mean a lot to my mother." "Lady Buttons of Camelot has a real shot in the show ring today." "Look at her!" "She's having a really good fur day." "I'm not dating your kid anymore, so I don't have to listen to the "cat-chat."" "Marc's right." "You are cranky when you don't get your fix." "[Cell phone rings]" "Oh, look at this." "It's Betty's papi." " You should really talk to him." " Won't Betty mind?" "She hasn't found the right time to tell her father she's dating Marc." "You could really help them out." "Hi, this is Jean Weiner." "All you have to do is come stand next to me and let me tell my mom that we're... dating." "It's crazy." "She would never believe us." "OK, if you do this for me I'll give you information to save your boss's job." "What?" "Why?" "What do you know?" "Uh-uh." "You help me first." "[Amanda laughs]" "So, how's the happy couple?" "Oh, laugh, clown, laugh." "But I am showing everyone copies of your "modeling" photos." "OK, those were tasteful." "And he told me he loved me." "Besides, you're not gonna have time to show anyone anything." " Your mom just talked to Betty's dad." " She what?" "And you're all having dinner tonight at the Casa de Suarez." "[Laughs] Ta!" "This better be some good information, Marc." " You're ruining meatloaf night." " Wait, what?" "Alexis wants to take over the company and push you out." " That's what Marc said." " Is Alex in his office?" "Yes, she is." "Why would Marc tell you that?" "Didn't he make you eat glue?" "Yeah, that was before." "I'm his girlfriend now." " His what?" " The things I do for you." "Daniel Meade." "Nick Pepper, Ms. Meade's new assistant." "I've followed your career since I graduated from Cornell." "I want to be you in five years." "Buy more expensive ties, sleep with a few models," " and you're halfway there, buddy." " Yes!" "So, new office, new assistant." "Is that what you meant by," ""I don't want a thing to do with this magazine?"" "Oh, calm down, Daniel." "I've been thinking about what you said, and..." "I just can't lie to Mom again." "If us working together makes her happy then I think we should give it a try." "I'll even follow your lead." "And Lucy's actually gonna let Charlie Brown kick the football, right?" "You're not fooling me, Alexis." "I'm not the kid brother you used to push around." "And I'm not your big brother anymore, clearly!" "Look, can we not make this about us?" "This is about Mom." "If I agree that wouldn't mean I'm working for you, understood?" "I know!" "Fifty-fifty." "You want me to pinky-swear?" "OK, so what can I do?" "Well, this issue is pretty much put to bed, so..." "I haven't written the Letter from the Editor yet." "Maybe you can write one too." "I'll print them side-by-side." "How about that?" " Side-by-side?" " Yes, Alex." "It's called "sharing."" "You mean, like Katie Myers?" "That wasn't so much "sharing" as you "stealing my girlfriend."" "OK, bad example." "I need 400 words by tomorrow morning." "We take the book to press by noon." "Nick!" "Cancel your paintball game or whatever it is you do after work." "We've got a lot to do if we're to get this to the printers by midnight." "Didn't Daniel say noon?" "Daniel also thinks I'm gonna be sharing this job fifty-fifty." "You're not?" "Honey, I didn't share Katie Myers and I'm not gonna share this magazine." "There's my issue, and there's Daniel's." "And Daniel's is never gonna see the light of day." "Dude, you're awesome." "Dude, you haven't seen anything yet." "OK, we got to focus." "We got to sit through dinner with my mother, we have to know everything about each other." " You're from the Philippines, right?" " Queens!" "Don't give me that look." "They both end in "eens."" "We met when I made a bet with my friends that I could turn you from an ugly duckling into a swan." "Marc, that's She's All That." "No, in that movie she actually became beautiful." "I fell in love with you because of the whole "inner beauty" crap." "OK, let's move to the flash cards." "I hope you studied." " What's my favorite boy band?" " 'N Sync!" " What's my favorite musical?" " High School Musical!" " Where do I get my Mystic Tan?" " Sunset Tan on 48th!" "Will these answers really convince your mom you're straight?" "Straight guys Mystic Tan." "Hello, Tom Cruise." "OK, now you go." " Who's Justin?" " Pass." " He's my nephew, you've met him." " Pass." "I'll never remember that!" "How old am I?" " 32." " 22!" " Really?" " Yes!" "Thank you for that." " My favorite flowers?" " [Henry] Pink Gerber daisies" "Henry?" "Hi." "Just dropping off paychecks." "How have you been?" "Good, good." "How's Charlie?" " Good." "She's good." " OK, OK, Betty." "We gotta finish this." " Favorite pizza toppings?" " Goat cheese and capers!" " Pepperoni, mushroom." " Hey, who's girlfriend is she?" "Beat it!" "I'm sorry." "I'm just helping him with something." " Well, it was nice seeing you." " Yeah." " Favorite Disney Princess?" " Oh, Mulan." "Cinderella." "Her mother always read that to her before bed." "[Peaches:" "Boys Wanna be Her]" "OK, I think you've got it." "Print up those proofs and get them to graphics ASAP." "We have a midnight deadline." "Let's move!" "I see someone's enjoying her new role." "Love what you did with the office." "And I read your letter for the magazine." "Brilliant!" "A scathing indictment of dear ol' Dad." "And you're looking at the new cover." "Think Daddy will like it?" "He is a breast man." "Don't know whether he'll like them on his son." "Perfect!" "Is it safe to assume that Daniel is not aware of any of this?" "Oh, please." "Daniel's clueless." "He won't even know this is happening until the issue hits the stands." "I have to go change my clothes." "I have a million things to do." " It's almost scary how easy this is." " You are evil." "I'm so going as you for Halloween!" " I read your Letter from the Editor." " And?" " It's good!" " Uh-oh." "Your voice got all high, like when I ask you to stay late and you say," " "I don't mind."" " No." "It's a good letter, it's just..." " It's about shoes!" " This is a fashion magazine, right?" "But this isn't just any issue of Mode." "With everything that's been going on, people are gonna be looking to this as your public statement." "Don't you think you should write something a little bit more personal?" "Maybe you could..." " I can't." " Is it too painful?" "No." "I mean, literally, I can't..." "I don't know how to write a letter like that." "Daniel, I read your letter every month." "It's always funny and smart and..." "It's one of the things that makes you such an amazing editor." "I don't exactly write those letters." "You know Jeremy from Features?" "He kinda writes them, and I..." "I sign my name to them." "That's dishonest." "How is your boyfriend, Marc, doing?" " Point taken." " I am not a writer, Betty." "I can't do this." "I'm barely an editor." "Daniel, you get a magazine out every month and you do an amazing job." "And you'll do an amazing job on this letter, too." "You just have to write from the heart." "You really want your letter to be about how the pilgrim buckle is back?" "Well, it is." "You can do this." " [Doorbell rings] - [Betty sighs]" "There's my little enchilada." " Sorry we're late." " Oh, it's not a problem... baby." "It's my fault." "The cat was acting up, I couldn't leave her in the hotel." "How did Miss Lady Buttons of Camelot do in the show today?" "Last place." "I stripped away her title." "Her name's just Buttons now." "Let's just sit down real fast, eat that dinner and we'll be out of here." " Hey, Mr. Suarez." " Call me Papi." " Too much?" " Mmm-hmm." " This is my mom, Jean Weiner." " Hi." "Yes, we talked on the phone." "I love your home." "It's so... festivo!" "There they are." "Hello, hi!" "I'm Hilda, Betty's sister." "Can you believe these two crazy kids?" "So in love!" " Let me take your things for you." " Oh, thank you." "What is she doing here?" ""She" wouldn't miss this for the world." " She lives here." " "She lives here."" "Taquito, remember that time we drove upstate to look at the leaves?" "Oh, yes!" "And we listened to 'N Sync the whole way up because that's Marc's favorite band." "I know that because I am his boyfriend." "I mean, he's my girlfriend." "I mean..." "So, Miss Weiner, tell us." "How did you get started in cat shows?" "Oh, well it was just fun at first." "I had a hairless Sphynx named Mr. Meowington who I entered in a local pageant." "For his talent competition he flushed a toilet." "See, even a cat can remember to do it." "[Mrs. Weiner] Betty, you have the same sense of humor as" "Marc's old roommate Chuck." "Honey, do you ever see Chuck?" "I don't want to talk about him." "We just... sort of lost touch." "[Mrs. Weiner] He was so handsome, and they were so close." "We weren't that close!" "We were just poker buddies." "I'm guessing a lot of hold 'em." "So how long have you two been going out?" " Six months." " Three months." "I mean six months." "It has been six months, it just feels like three months." "Our first date, we watched High School Musical because that's Marc's favorite musical, and I know that." "Would you guys excuse us for just a minute?" "Treasure, can I see you up in my room?" "Hey, keep that door open!" "Oh... [chuckles]" "So this is where the tragic happens." "Marc, we can't do this anymore." "Marc!" "We are not convincing anybody." "I keep waiting for Mr. Roper to show up." "You agreed to this." "I helped you with Daniel." "You're a grown man." "Tell her the truth." "She might surprise you." "Look what happened with Lady Buttons, and that was just over a stupid ribbon!" "I'm her child." "Her favorite." "I can't disappoint her." "How do you tell someone after ten years that none of it's been real?" "If I tell her the truth now, then we've got nothing." "What do you have now?" "Two visits and Christmas?" "That's not a relationship." " It's too late." " No, it's not." "Marc, you have a mother." "And she is downstairs, and you have a chance to make her part of your life." "Do you know what I would give for that?" "My family's not your family, OK?" "So, let's turn that mustache upside down, go downstairs and finish dinner and then we'll be out of here!" "OK, but let's bring it back down to a man's voice." "Hi, Aunt Betty." "Hi, Uncle Marc." " What's your son doing here?" " Nephew!" "Sorry." "Justin's supposed to be with his father, but don't worry, I had a chat with him, he's onboard." "Dad tried to take me out for fast food." "Chicken nuggets are 15 points." "It's almost bathing suit season!" "All right, just help clear the plates?" "So, Hilda, you're a single mom." "That must be hard." "How long ago did you and your husband split?" "We were never actually married, you know." "Prom Night, condom breaks, long story." "Actually not." "That's pretty much it." " That's a lot of information." " [Ignacio] I'll get that." "Betty, look what I silk-screened in our class today." "Ooh..." "Is that some celebrity?" " No." "Uh..." " [Justin] You kidding?" "She totally is!" "Claire Meade, she murdered Fey Sommers." "But she was completely justified." "It was a crime of passion, and I will not rest until that woman is free!" "I'm starting a petition at school tomorrow." "What a pretty kitty." "Can I pet her?" "He's starting a petition to help out a murderer?" "They're going with insanity." "Really, it helps Justin focus his anxiety." "He's still pretty upset about the Dreamgirls Best Picture snub." "Babel?" "What's Babel?" "Oh, my God, I know." "Dreamgirls was a cinematic achievement." "And... how about the boobs on that Beyonce, huh?" "[Hilda] I can't get the lid off the trashcan!" "The cat's going for the door!" " I got it!" " [Hilda] You can't go out!" "[Alarm wailing]" " What is that noise?" " [Phone rings]" "Grandpa's under house arrest." " Yes, Constance." " He murder someone, too?" " No!" "He's not a criminal." " He's an illegal immigrant." "Would you shut up?" "Are you sure you want to get involved with this family?" "What's he doing here?" " Daniel?" " Who's Daniel?" "He's..." "Betty's ex-boyfriend." "What?" "I can't play, too?" " Thank you." " Mmm-hmm." "Oh, Claire." "How did you get in here?" "Only family is permitted." "I'm your incredibly tan sister." "Let me look at you." "Oh, you poor thing, and handcuffs?" "I have committed a crime." "Not letting a woman have her makeup bag." "Now that's a crime." "What do you want, Wilhelmina?" "I came out of great concern for your children." "Things are not going well with Daniel and Alexis, and I fear they'll soon destroy the magazine... and each other." "Much better." "So I thought if there was a way to salvage what's left, if there were someone who could supervise, perhaps mediate." "And I suppose that person would be you?" "I practically ran the magazine when Daniel was in charge." "It's that I have no authority in my current position." "You want me to do something about that?" "Well, I don't know what except maybe have your attorneys draw up some contracts?" "I believe the phrase is..." ""Power of Attorney?"" "Yeah, something like that." "It would be a way for me to rightfully protect them." " After all, I am a mother too." " You're telling me." "Cut the act, Wilhelmina." "I'm not Bradford or one of those other suits in that office who can get taken in by your collagen smile and your plastic ass." "I see." "Well, perhaps I can offer you something that might change your mind." "I know you're drying out and all, but one little sip couldn't hurt, could it?" "I bet this would make those ice chips taste so much better." "You actually think I would sell out my children for a lousy drink?" "Maybe not one, but after four or five." "You've been known to do a lot worse." "Listen to me, Wilhelmina, and you listen good." "I know who you are, and you're not getting your hands on this company." "That slut Fey Sommers may have become editor-in-chief by going after my husband." "But from now on, the only person running this magazine will be a Meade." "Sorry you feel that way, Claire." "Perhaps I can... offer this to you with my humblest apologies." "Oh, darn." "You can't reach that, can you?" "Oops." "Look at the time, I gotta run." "Sorry, dear." "So did he pop the question yet?" "Stop!" "It's not funny." "I have to kiss him and he wears lip gloss." "All right." "So, I finished the letter." "I wanted you to read it." "I think it turned out pretty well." ""He Ain't Heavy, She's My Brother." Aw..." "So if you can proof it, e-mail it to Alexis, she can put it in the book." "It has to be at the printers by tomorrow morning." "You could have just e-mailed this to me." "I wanted to see the look on your face when you're not disappointed in me." "Could you come here?" "My mother lost an earring and is convinced your father stole it." "Could you give us a minute?" "The honeymoon is definitely over." "Well, as much fun as I make of all your pep talks, they actually kinda made me feel... peppy." "What are you doing?" "I wanted to read this." "Daniel worked really hard on it." "Forget that stupid letter and come back in..." " It's not stupid." " No, but Daniel is." "Alexis isn't putting that in the magazine!" "She's not in charge!" "No one told her that." "She's redone the entire issue." "It's already on its way to the printer." "Forget that and come here." "Oh, my God." "I have to go and catch Daniel." "No, Betty, Betty, you can't go!" "Betty, he is your ex-boyfriend and I am your current boyfriend." "He is my boss, and you're an idiot!" "We're gonna talk about this in couples counseling!" "[Door slams]" "[Horns honking]" "Come on, we haven't moved in 20 minutes!" "I'm e-mailing the printer." "OK to type "Stop the presses?"" "I can't believe I trusted her." "I am so stupid." "You were giving Alexis a chance, wanted to believe the best in people." "We're never gonna get there in time." "You know, the printer's not that far away." "Come on." " Excuse us." "Coming through." " Excuse me!" "I just don't understand." "Betty took off with her ex-boyfriend?" "Marc, don't you think that's weird?" "Mom, there's something I need to tell you about me." "I am breaking up with Betty." "Oh, thank God!" "Wait, you didn't like her?" "Marc, honey, let's be honest." "With that hair and that face, what were my grandchildren gonna look like?" "Betty and her family were pretty nice to us tonight." "Don't get me started on the family." "Her father, why should I pay his taxes?" " He broke into this country." " Mom!" "And her sister, I don't want to use the "S" word, but "slut."" "No wonder she got knocked-up in the second grade." "[Justin] The Golden Girls marathon is on!" "And I don't even know what that is." " "That?"" " He's just so... swishy!" "The mother doesn't say anything." "It makes me sick." " OK, shut your mouth, Mom!" " What did you say to me?" "You don't get to talk about these people like that." "They did a really nice thing for me tonight." "And that little boy..." ""Swishy?" Swishy!" "You want to talk about "swishy."" "Open your eyes, Mom, and look at your own swishy son." "You know what?" "I gotta get to the hotel." "No." "You don't get to go." "Because I may never be this brave again." " Mom." "I love you, but..." " Do not say it." " I am what you think I am." " You're confused!" "No, no." "For once I'm not." "If you want to get to know me it has to be the real me." "The real you, huh?" "Well, if this is the life you've chosen..." "I have no interest in knowing the real you." "Thank these people for a lovely evening." "Come on, we're almost there." "Come on, Betty!" "Hurry up!" "Son of a bitch!" "I think I'm having a heart attack!" " Seriously?" " No, I'm just being melodramatic!" "[Alexis] Hey, Daniel!" "Hey, Betty!" "Run, Daniel!" "What happened to sharing?" "What about doing it for Mom?" " Plans change." " I'm not a kid anymore." "Yeah, but I'm still gonna win!" "Yes!" "[Rock music plays]" "Hey, I got your text." "What happened?" "Is this a celebration drink?" "Are you buying?" "Can I have a banana daiquiri?" "Can we get a banana daiquiri for the lady and another scotch, please?" "It's a funny story." "Alex won." "She couldn't have gotten there much earlier." " We can tell the printer to stop." " Don't you get it?" "If it's not this, it's gonna be something else." "Alex is faster than me, he'll always be faster than me." "So we're giving up?" "My whole family has always thought I've been a big screw-up when it comes to this job." "I'm just trying not to disappoint them." "Oh, almost forgot." "Advance copy, the printer was nice enough to give it to me." " [Betty] She put herself on the cover!" " She always knows how to get at my Dad." "You should read the Letter from the Editor." "It puts mine to shame." "Actually, I don't need this anymore." " I'm sorry." " Don't be!" "Betty, I'm finally free." "I've wasted all that time behind the desk." "If Alex wants to take over, then let him." "I've got lots of partying to catch up on." "[Wilhelmina] Working late?" "A lot to catch up on." "Bradford, I'm so sorry about Claire." "I know how hard it must be to come home to an empty house." "How about a little dinner and some company?" "You're still here." "I'm sorry I ran out earlier." "How did it go?" "Things got a little messy after you left." "I was outed to my mother." "What?" "Who was it?" "My father?" "No, no, it wasn't him." "It was me." " Wow." " Yeah." "She left." "You know what, Marc?" "I learned something about family tonight." "They're not always the ones who love you the most." "Sometimes it's the family that you make for yourself." "OK, OK." "Getting a little too Lifetime Original Movie for me." "But I get it." "If she doesn't want to be a part of my life, then... it's her loss." "Because I'm freaking fabulous." "Yes, you are." "And just so you know, you'll always be my little chimichanga." "It doesn't mean I like you." "[Alexi Murdoch:" "Orange Sky]" "[Daniel] The great return of Alexis Mead is a story that's been played-out enough in the media, so I won't go into all the details here." "But I will admit that I didn't welcome my brother back at first." "Partly because I wasn't used to seeing him in a satin pump." "Mostly, because when he went away, he broke my heart." "So I was mad." "But when I looked past my anger, and his makeup," "I realized I was happy to have him back." "I missed him so much." "I should start saying "her." I missed her so much." "She's family, and it's family that will keep this magazine going in the face of our personal crisis." "It's family that gets you through everything." "So welcome back, Alexis." "Thanks to you, I'm no longer alone." "[Indistinct chatter]"