"What is it?" " I want to see Mr. Barnier." " Do you have an appointment?" "No, I have something important to tell him." "At 8 AM?" "He's not awake." "This is very urgent." "OK, but I'll never finish my cleaning." "Coming!" "He is not to be disturbed before 11 AM." "I have great news he will like to hear." " But..." " I take full responsibility." "Tell him Christian Martin is here to see him." "What is it?" " It's Mr. Martin." " Who?" " Mr. Christian Martin." " What does he want?" "He has something very important to tell you." "All right, I'll tell him." "Does Mr. Barnier have breakfast?" " Yes, of course." " Bring another cup." "No, no, no..." " Very well." " Tell me..." "Very well." "How will you let me know?" " Do you have a buzzer?" " No, we don't." "With the tray I'll bring a bell." "But tell me..." "That's Mr. Barnier." " What happened?" "A catastrophe?" " No, sir!" "So why do you intrude at 8 AM in my home?" " A reason of major importance." " Couldn't it wait until later?" " No." "Come." "All right, I'm listening." "Mr. Barnier, I know you're a kindhearted man." "You're like a father to your employees, so..." "Listen, hurry up and come to the point, please." " What's wrong?" " Everything's fine." " Then what are you doing here?" " I came to ask for a raise." "Tell me, are you making fun of me?" "I wouldn't dare." "So you have the nerve to wake me at 8 AM for that?" " If you knew..." " I don't want to know." " My life depends on it." "If everyone came here to tell their life stories..." "I should fire you!" "I'd like to explain the reasons..." "You will explain at the office!" "So your answer is unfavorable?" "Young man, something is not right with you this morning." "I advise you to leave now and prepare your apology for this afternoon." " The breakfast!" " So what?" "Two cups?" "That young man said he'd have breakfast with you." " What young man?" " That young man." "I didn't expect our talk to be so brief." " Are you crazy?" " I'm in love." "So what?" "I'll ask for her hand this morning." "I'm not interested in your love life." "Love life is often linked to finances." "Oh, yes!" "Could you please return to..." "So?" "I can't propose if I can't provide for her in the fashion her parents provided for her in the past." "Let's finish this." "How much do you earn?" "3,000 F per month plus bonuses." "And how much would you like?" "6,000 F per month." "Arm up." "I can leave you some minutes to think about it." "I've thought it over." "Try to understand me." "I understand your surprise." "Mr. Barnier, I started working for you 2 years ago for a salary of 500 F per month." " This takes the cake!" " Sugar, please." "Thanks." "Two!" "Thanks." "6,000?" "You're wasting your time as well as mine." "Your company is one of the most profitable in Europe." " Thanks to you?" " Partially." "So you think you're indispensable?" "No one is indispensable, but first, I'd like to talk to you about love." " To me?" " Oh, sir!" "I'm going to ask for the permission to get married." " So what?" " I'm not addressing a businessman, but a man with a great heart." " Let's not overdo it." " I know you." "My good heart will not give you 6,000 F par month!" "Life is tough for a young couple." "I talked about that yesterday with" "Mr. Muller." " Mr. Muller?" "You know him?" "He was a bit worried about having us as competitors." " So that's it!" "He asked me how much I earned, and how..." "I know his methods." "He doesn't scare me!" "Tell him that!" "Barnier, trembling because of Muller!" " On the contrary!" " Of course!" "One day I will squish him." " Soon." " Very soon!" "Just imagine when he finds out about my raise." "I'm laughing already." " I'll call him right now." " To do what?" " To tell him about my raise." " Wait." "Let's think about it." "Let's not rush into anything." " Tell me about your fiancée." " She's lovely." " Her parents?" " Charming people!" " Wealthy?" " Very." "That's why 3,000 F per month won't be enough for her." "Yes." "Well, listen, let's say..." " 5,500 and not another word." " That's more than" " I would have thought." " If I'd known!" "So I will stay with you." "That's very nice of you." "Since you promised me 5,500..." " Indeed." " I'll talk to her father." " I keep my promises, so go on!" " Thanks." " Good luck!" " Thanks." "I ask you for the hand of your daughter." " What?" " Yes, sir." " No!" " Yes!" "Those flowers are for Mrs. Barnier." "Put that away, you!" "Come on!" "Go on!" "Move, fast!" "Sit down!" " Bernadette, out." " Very well." "How come...?" "Get out now!" "How come you know my daughter?" "We met 1½ years ago, quite by chance." "I didn't know it was her, so when I found out, I didn't tell her it was me." " Come again?" " I didn't dare to tell her that I earned only 1,000 F working for her father." " Now that's rich!" " Indeed!" "You're a charming young man, but I had hoped for a more advantageous marriage for my daughter." "So why don't you make me sales manager?" "Neither that title nor your salary of 5,500 F per month will give her the lifestyle she is used to." "I heard her dowry is worth 40 million." " Who told you that?" " She did." "One, that's absolutely false." "Two, I find that a very peculiar mentality." "You want to marry my daughter just to make some money!" "No, I want to marry her because I love her." "If she got a large dowry, that wouldn't be a reason to break up." "I find your reasoning odd and particularly obnoxious." "To prove the purity of my financial intentions," "I will present her with my whole fortune." " Your fortune!" " 64,723,000 F." "What?" "I said, 64,723,000 F." "Or 647,230 F, if you prefer new francs." " You?" "Me." "You inherited it?" "No, sir." " How'd you amass it?" " I stole it." " From you." " What?" "I stole it from you!" " Me?" " You!" " That's not possible." " Yes, I assure you." " That's not possible!" " I'll explain." " You must be joking!" " I wouldn't dare." " Sir?" " Bring 2 aspirin for him." " He doesn't feel well?" " Hurry!" "Who would have believed it?" "No one, so I thought it would surprise you." " So you are giving yourself up?" " Why should I?" "I'm calling the police." "But what for?" "To have you thrown in prison!" "If all you're saying is true..." "I can't believe it." "Your aspirin, Mr. Barnier." " Leave me alone!" " I insist." "Are you going to make fun of me for much longer?" "Be ready to bring it back in a moment." "I still have some news to announce to Mr. Barnier." "64,723,000 F!" " What will you do?" " Call the police." "Think about it..." "I didn't try to run away." "A gentlemen's agreement might be preferable for you." "An arrangement with a thief!" "Your company declared a profit of 31,228,000 F." "And you know that I concealed 47 million, which the tax authorities never heard of." "How do you explain that theft when nothing is missing in your accounting?" " What?" "And that's so bad." "Your financial situation is fantastic." "They will check your accounting." "The police will ask you all sorts of questions." "How will you answer?" "How did you steal 64,723,000 F without putting your hand in the till?" "With the doorknobs." "What do you want?" " The bell." " Put it over there!" " Where was I?" " You said..." " What did you say?" " I don't remember." "Great!" "Oh, yes!" "The doorknobs helped me." "That's it!" "Know how many doorknobs we sold at our last construction project?" "64,723,000 doorknobs." "So what?" "After a thorough survey of the manufacturing problems," "I got a reduction of one franc per doorknob." "So?" "A typing error in the contract." "The reduction was not 1F but 2." "I wanted to tell you, but you had left already." " I had to leave for the subway." " What did you want there?" "I met your daughter there." " So?" " I realized this error would save our happiness if I could manage to keep it secret." "Even more business not recorded!" "The telephone." "That explains the number 64,723,000 F I told you earlier." " That you put in your pocket." " That's too small." "You're not funny!" "I acted out of love for your daughter, to whom I will return, if she marries me, the entire sum." "With her dowry of 40 million, we'd be starting off with 100 million." "And as parents worry about the future of their children, you will have nothing to worry about." "That is all somehow logical, but you are still going pretty far!" "Does my daughter know about all this?" "Of course not!" "I have to lie to her." "She thinks I'm a vice-president." "Did you know I'm rather shy?" "No, I didn't notice." "Does she...?" " Does she love you?" " I think so." "I can even say I'm sure of it." "She has given me proof." "What proof?" "What are you still doing with that bell?" "I'm calling for the aspirin." "You and your aspirin!" "I hate to conceal things." "You have proven that." " Can we talk man to man?" " Yes." " I'm your daughter's lover." " What?" " Sir?" " Get out!" " Very well." " Not you." "Me!" "Or better not!" "You stay!" "And you leave!" "Sorry, I didn't understand." "Who leaves and who stays?" "Think about it in the kitchen." "Very well." " So?" " Well..." "So my daughter has a lover!" " For how long?" " About 1½ years." " You didn't waste any time!" " What?" "Since you've known her for 1½ years and have been her lover for 1½ years, you didn't waste any time." "I've known her for 1 year, 6 months and 4 days." "I've been her lover for 1 year, 5 months and 22 days." " It was a rainy Sunday." " That explains it." "But you haven't wasted any time." "I hope you decided to get married immediately?" "No, we immediately decided to get married." " See the difference?" " Oh!" "Leave me alone!" "Why has she never told me?" " She was afraid of you." " My daughter?" "That's something!" "She'll explain right away!" "I promised your daughter to say nothing." "I have to clear up this matter!" "Bring it up carefully." "That way she can confess to you." "Do it right away." "I'll return in 15 minutes to kiss Mrs. Barnier." "Why do you want to kiss my wife?" "It's normal to kiss my mother- in- law." "First, I have to talk to my daughter." "Thank you, sir." "Mr. Barnier, let me call you Bertrand." "Oh, no!" "Oh, no!" "Another catastrophe?" "This time, it's for me." "I've got such a headache!" "Well, see you later." "Good-bye, Bertrand." "He calls you Bertrand?" "Handle him with care." "Good-bye, Bertrand." " Colette!" " Yes, Daddy." "What is it, my duck?" "Don't call me animal names!" "But a duck's nice." "You don't call your father that!" "You're old-fashioned, Daddy." "And you, a bit too modern!" "I've just heard everything about it." " What have you heard?" " Everything!" " About what?" " Don't play innocent!" "And I demand some explanations!" " About what?" " About your lover!" "About your mother." "About your lover!" "Now talk!" "He came to ask for your hand." " He came to ask for my hand?" " He left just now." "I haven't heard from him in 2 weeks, I thought he had abandoned me." "That's all we would have needed!" "Mom was just going to tell you." " She knows what's going on?" " Yes." "So I'm the last one to be informed what's going on!" "So you agree?" "Agree to what?" " That we get married." " We're not there yet." "Officially, you're not married yet." "If you keep making that noise," "I'll put you in boarding school in a convent!" "Until you are of age!" "In Auvergne!" "Miss!" "He doesn't want me to get married." "I'm fed up with it." "I want to live freely." "Here, I'm wasting my youth." "I heard a story of a girl who made her parents believe she was pregnant to get their consent." "My father would have a heart attack!" "Yes, but then, he would have to accept." "It would be too late to change anything." "I'd never dare." " Still at it?" " I have to talk to you." "Later!" " OK, I'm listening." " You're in for a surprise." "I've been surprised all morning long." "Dad..." " We'll call him Blaise." " Who?" " His child." " Whose child?" " Ours." " Yours?" "Our own child!" "Don't you understand?" "That's not possible!" "No!" "That's not possible!" "I didn't understand!" "That's all too much for the morning!" "Tell me that's not true!" "You won't call him Blaise!" "Sir?" "Bring me 3 aspirin right away." " Already prepared." " Thanks." "Blaise!" " You permit the marriage?" " I've got to, you hussy!" "Thank you, Dad!" "I'll tell Mom the good news." " It's ringing." " Hmm." " It's ringing!" " One second, I'll get it." "Oh, sorry!" "Mr. Barnier, please." "A young lady to see you, sir." "I don't have time!" "I'll tell her." " She's not there anymore." " She's here." " She was there." " Not now." "Miss?" " Mr. Barnier?" " Until further notice." "I'm in a desperate situation." "Me too, if that cheers you up!" "I'm in love with a certain Christian Martin." " That is a problem." " Why?" "He wants to marry my daughter." "That's terrible!" "I understand, but you're still young..." "I must confess something:" "I lied to Christian." " I told him I was your daughter." " That's not so bad." " He thinks you're my father!" " Sure, if you told him that!" " Don't you understand?" " No." "Oh, now I understand!" " About marrying your daughter..." " I've understood!" " He meant me." " What a morning!" "And my daughter expecting a child!" "Please don't tell Christian the truth yet." " Let me do that myself." " Sure!" "Stand right there." "Now, why did you choose me as your father?" "I'm not rich, my mother has to work and Christian has a very good position." " I know." " My name is Bouillotte." " Oh, go on!" "When I saw an ad for Barnier," "I told him, "My name is Jacqueline Barnier."" "When he asked if I was the building contractor's daughter, I said yes." " What did he answer?" " "That's funny."" "In fact, irresistible!" "I'd like to tell him the truth myself." "If he finds out you're not my daughter," "I lose my 60 million!" "What are you saying?" "I don't mind telling him nothing if you agree to stay here until I've had the time to clear some matters with him." "Fine." "You better hide in there!" "Stay there until I come back to get you." " You won't tell him anything?" " If you stay put." " Thank you!" " I'll be right back." "And now, I'd really like to know what pig got my daughter pregnant!" "Germaine!" " Germaine!" " Who's calling?" "Me, your husband." "Ah, good." " I need to talk to you." " Yes?" " Your daughter has a lover." " Me too." " What?" " I have to talk to you as well." "I'm listening." "Your daughter has a lover." " I just told you that." " I already knew it." "And you know she's going to have a child?" " Of course." " Great!" " It's the destiny of all women!" " Good, you're broad-minded!" "Don't hide!" "I've seen you." "Come out of there!" "Who is it?" "Who?" "He came to ask you for my hand." "I want you to pronounce his name." "To hear the music..." "Who is it?" "It's Oscar." "Oscar?" "Who's Oscar?" "Now you're losing your memory." "Your driver!" "You're expecting a child from my driver!" "Would you prefer her to have several lovers?" "What have I done to deserve a fate like this?" "What's so bad?" "Our daughter is going to marry a decent boy." "Invite him for lunch immediately." "How can I invite him?" "I fired him 2 weeks ago!" "There, there, my little girl." "Your daddy will fix everything." "My daughter, dishonored by my driver!" "I'd rather see her seduced by an attractive driver than that Baron de la Butinière you wanted her to marry." "That pimpleface." "My darling, go and cry in your room." "And close your window because of the neighbors." "Mrs. Barnier, allow me to call you Mom!" "Why did he call me Mom?" "What are you saying?" " Why did he call me "Mom"?" " Why Mom, huh?" " Doesn't she know?" " Know what?" "The proposal." "What's all this about?" "Didn't he tell you I asked for your daughter's hand?" " Colette?" " No." " The other one." " Which other one?" " The younger one!" " What?" " The younger one!" " Are you nuts?" "Go to your room, I have to talk to this young man." "Yes, I think you're both not completely OK this morning." "I didn't know you had 2 daughters." " Neither did I." " What?" " My wife is excited." "She doesn't know what she's saying." "Let's talk about serious things again." "In my office." "I don't want to talk anymore about how you got rich." "But if you should change your mind, I would like to have your guarantee that you'll return the money to my daughter." " Are you doubting my word?" " Not at all!" "If you could give me a check, it'd be much easier for me to convince my wife, who's not happy about this marriage." "You can imagine I wouldn't put that money in a bank." "Where is it?" " Converted to jewels." " Where are they?" "In a suitcase in a safe place." "In a suitcase!" " I have an idea." " That's not possible!" "Yes!" "Sit down." "We will surprise Colette." "No, Jacqueline, the younger one." "You'll get those jewels and give them to her as an engagement present." "That way, her mother won't be able to refuse." " You think so?" " I guarantee it!" "I'm off!" "No, no, wait, Christian!" "Have you heard anything about Oscar?" " Your driver?" " Former driver." " You don't know what happened?" " What?" " A great disappointment in love!" " That's not possible." "He wouldn't tell me her name, a charming girl, but her father was impossible." "Think so?" " The poor boy." " Don't say he committed suicide!" "Almost the same:" "He left on a polar expedition." "That's terrible." "Gone for 6 years!" "See you later." "I need to talk to you." " This isn't the right moment." " It's very urgent." "Come over here." "I'm listening." "I wanted to tell you I can't stay in your employ any longer." "Now that's just what I had been waiting for." " Why are you leaving?" " I'm getting married." "You're lucky." "To whom?" " You know him well." " I do?" " He came here very often." " Who is it?" "Honoré de la Butinière." "That's not possible!" "Pimpleface?" "He doesn't have pimples anymore." "How do you explain that?" "If you don't understand..." "No, I don't." "Bernadette!" "Please leave this house immediately!" "I don't like that kind of joke." "Pack your bags immediately." " Get out of my sight!" " Very well, sir." " Germaine!" " What is it?" " Do you know the news?" " No." "Honoré de la Butinière no longer has pimples." "Why do you tell me that?" "Know why?" " No." " Ask the maid." "Bertrand." "I'm wondering if you're still normal." "Anyway, I fired her." " Now that's intelligent!" " Thanks." " There's something worse." " What?" " Oscar is gone." " Where?" "Some expedition to the Arctic or the Antarctic." " Gone for 6 years!" " Look what you've done!" "And it's my fault!" "Of course." "Find her another husband." "How, in her condition?" "You told me a young man came to ask for" "Colette's hand?" " Yes." " Who is it?" " Martin." " Your Martin?" " Everything's arranged, then." " No, he's already engaged." "Is he engaged or did he ask for your daughter's hand?" "He didn't know it was her." "Explain in a clear and intelligible fashion." "Some things can't be explained." "That young man who was here earlier..." "What was his name?" " Martin." " Him too?" "But that's the same one." "Now I see why he called me Mom." " It's all clear to me now." " You're lucky." "Keep away from the suitcase!" " I'm happy to see you again." " Yes, yes." " Are the jewels in there?" " Yes, yes." "No!" "Let's go to my office." "Let's close it, it's safer." "Dear Christian, we'll call him Blaise." "Who?" "Our little child." "What child?" "Your child!" "Don't you understand?" " No!" " Yes!" "Why hasn't Jacqueline told me?" "She just told me this morning." "Mr. Barnier, allow me to kiss you." "There is one small thing that disturbs me." "What is it?" "I don't know how to explain it." " Tell me." " Well, all right." "Before you can get married, there will have to be a certain minimum delay." "Yes." "No one is safe from accidents." "When you leave here, you could be run over." " You too." "Not me." "I lost a cousin like that, it was terrible!" "What would become of my daughter if that happened to you?" "And what would become of my grandson?" "My little baby wouldn't even be able to call himself Martin." "I'm asking myself what we could do." "I'll see a notary." "Let's not disturb a notary for such a small thing!" "Write me a little note," "I'm sure that will be enough." "If ever something bad should happen to you." "OK, I'll write something for you." "Let's do it right away and it'll be over." "Here." "Something to write." "Why that face?" "You don't seem to fully trust me." "Who?" "Me?" "Yes, those papers, those jewels..." "Will I get them back after I've married your daughter?" "If you're worried about that, I'm willing to sign an agreement myself." "You get the good chair." " That, over here!" " No, over here." "It's better here." "Here, fine." "Now write!" "We write at the same time." "Yes..." "Wait." "Let's see." "So, you write!" ""I, the undersigned Christian... ..Barnier..." "..acknowledge... ..that I am the father... ..of 64 million... ..awaited by Miss Barnier."" "Now sign it." " You sign yours too." " Well, sign yours!" " Perfect." " You give me yours." " Who?" " Give me yours!" "Now let's proceed to more amusing matters." " Really?" "Let's surprise my daughter!" "My dear Christian!" "Wait for me here, I will talk to my daughter." " You haven't told her anything?" " Not yet." "You will see her face when she hears about the news!" "That will be fun!" "Miss." "Christian has just arrived." "Better tell him the truth yourself." "When everything is cleared up, thank him on my behalf for returning my suitcase." " What suitcase?" " He'll understand." "I'll get him." "Christian!" "I think you won't love me anymore." "That's impossible." " I have to tell you the truth." " I have a confession too." " Me first!" " No, me!" " Mine will surprise you more." " I don't think so." "Here we go..." "I've been working for your father for 2 years!" "I'm not his daughter." "Don't you understand?" "Mr. Barnier isn't my father." "That doesn't matter to me." "Does he know?" "Of course!" "That's just great." "What does he say about that?" "He thanks you for returning his suitcase." "Wait, what exactly did he tell you?" "When we met, you told me about your good position..." "Yes." "I didn't dare to tell you I was just a typist." "When you asked about my family name..." " You're not Barnier's daughter?" " I was trying to tell you!" " He wants to keep the suitcase?" " Yes." "That's abominable." "He's tricked me!" "Is that all the love you have for me?" "Jacqueline!" "Jacqueline!" "Don't look for them, here they are!" "Don't look for them, here they are!" " See what you've done!" "Happy?" " I'm very happy, thank you." "You knew Jacqueline wasn't your daughter?" "What a stupid question." "You're clever." " Not as clever as you." " Of course not, but still." "You know I keep my word." "I promised you to give these to my daughter." " If you keep your promise." " Which is?" " To marry my daughter." " The real one?" " Why should I marry her?" " You asked for her hand." " I didn't know who she was!" " Your mistake." "So it's a package:" "the girl and the suitcase." "With a small bonus as encouragement." "No, thanks." "Keep everything." "Son, you forget that you signed me a paper." "You are the father of my daughter's child." "She's with child?" "Those things happen." "Why doesn't she marry the real father?" " He's disappeared." " So you chose me as father?" "You're a scoundrel, Mr. Barnier!" "Yes!" "I thought we would understand each other." "I still have to introduce you." "Colette!" "Germaine!" "You called me, Daddy?" "Look at her." "She's charming!" "Colette, meet Christian Martin, your future husband." "How happy they are!" "Have you explained the situation to Mr. Martin?" "Yes, everything, and he's very cooperative." "Not as handsome as Oscar, but better than nothing." " You keep spouting nonsense." " Oscar is responsible, then?" "It's my husband who's really responsible." "Germaine!" "Let's leave these two alone, so they have time to get to know each other." "Get some fresh air in the park." "It's lovely." "See you later, my dear Christian." "Bertrand..." "One more word, and you can take care of this all by yourself, OK?" " Listen, Bertrand..." "You're carrying Oscar's baby." "And you want me to become the father?" "All right, my situation forces me to give in, but I'm warning you, we won't see each other very often." "Great!" "I'll marry to do what I want, to be a free woman." "You'd marry just anyone, then?" " I prefer a handsome guy." " Good!" "I'm out of the running." "Why?" "You're not that bad." "I understand I won't get away." "Miss, see you at the wedding." "Funny, I was just going to ring." " Philippe Dubois." " Sorry?" " I'm Mr. Barnier's masseur." " Christian Martin." "Sorry, you wouldn't be a champion of some sort?" "Three-time Apollo, France's most athletic physique." "All the women must adore you." "Not married, are you?" " Oh, no." " Good." "Nice to meet you!" " Did you fall down?" " I hit on something interesting." " What do you think?" " That's Dad's masseur." "Come on." "If I was a woman and had to choose between him and me," "I wouldn't hesitate." " He's not bad." " He looks so intelligent!" " Oh, yes!" "Why don't you marry him instead of me?" " Nobody asked me what I want." " Come on." "Ah!" "Miss Colette!" " Don't mind us, we're not here." " Sure, you're here." " Don't mind us, we're not here!" " I see." "Yes, they're still there." "That's your chance, use it." "All right?" "Yes!" "I'll tell your father." "Charles!" " Sir?" " Charles!" "Mr. Barnier?" "So you agree?" "I discovered how your daughter... feels deep in her heart." " Congratulations!" "Colette..." "May I call her Colette?" "Of course, my son." " She's madly in love." " Perfect!" " With your masseur." " What?" " Philippe Dubois." " That idiot?" "Colette must get married." "She would prefer Mr. Idiot..." "Mr. Dubois!" "The suitcase!" "Colette!" "Is it true what he told me about the masseur?" "He's up there!" "I don't care, he doesn't understand anything!" " Is it true?" " Yes, Daddy." " She figures I'm not her type." " No, not at all." " If she prefers Mr. Dubois or..." " That changes my plans!" "No." "Give me my note, you keep the suitcase." "If it doesn't work out with him, I need you as a spare." "Later, if everything is arranged, you get the note back and we can settle accounts before we separate." "If you let me go, I should first tell you about all the export problems." " Things are rather bad." " Really?" " It's not going well." " No!" "It could even become catastrophic." "We must find a solution." "I may have been a little hasty." "Consider yourself still my employee." "Take care of those export issues." " Then please sign some papers." " Whenever you wish." " Over there, on the table." " Yes." "Everything will be fine." "To open the frozen account with the EFAC." "Tax exemptions for imports with the SCUF." "Customs declaration with the SMOF." "And here you write," ""Read and approved."" " Where?" " Here." "Read and approved." " And approved." "Now sign it." "Miss." "That boy is great." "A shame you don't want him." " I prefer the other one!" " Shut it!" "I'll try to convince him." " Hey, I'm here!" " Oh!" "Hello, Mr. Barnier." " How do you feel?" " Not bad." "How are your stomach muscles?" " Whisky?" " Never any alcohol." " A coffee?" " Never any coffee." " Some lemon juice?" " I'd prefer a glass of milk." "We'll see about that." "Philippe, imagine I have a serious problem." "Still the pain in your shoulder?" "I'll massage you." "Careful!" "Still as sensitive?" "My suitcase!" "Oh, my suitcase." " Is that all right?" " That's fine." "What's this?" "Excuse me, sir." " Still here!" " I was packing my suitcase." "Out!" "I've seen enough of you!" "I'd like you to pay me for the last month." "My back pocket." "The wallet from my back pocket!" "How much do I owe you?" "Today's the 15th, so half a month has passed... 350 F." "Keep the rest." "For the reference, see my wife." "No need, I'll have 4 servants." "Your problems are far from over!" "Once we're settled in our summer residence," "I hope you'll visit us and spend the weekend." "You will always be welcome." " Good-bye, dear friend." " Good-bye, baroness." "Give my best regards to Mrs. Barnier." "There we are, we've seen everything!" "I'd like to talk to you about my daughter." " Doesn't she feel well?" " She's fine." "She'd like to get married." " Who to?" " To you." " That can't be true!" " It is." " To me?" " Yes!" "You wouldn't happen to like children?" "They give you nightmares?" "That's a great start!" "So you don't like them?" "Yes?" "No?" "Yes or no?" "Wouldn't you like to have some?" "Well?" "You can't?" "How's that?" "You had mumps when you were 18!" "So what?" "That's true." "Don't you regret you can't become a father?" "Maybe we'll be able to fix that." "Colette broke up with Mr. Martin?" "Germaine!" "For heaven's sake, keep out of this!" "Let me handle this myself!" " Hello, Mrs. Barnier!" " What virility!" " Bertrand?" " Here!" "Come over here!" "Yes!" "No, there!" "Is he the young man Colette wants to marry?" " Yes." " Not bad." "Watch!" " Get undressed!" " Me?" " Certainly not my wife!" " Completely?" "No, only the shirt." "Of course, he's not bad." "Turn around." "Set the works in motion, so we can see." "Set it in motion." " You're a masseur?" " Physical therapist." "Even better." "You want to marry my daughter?" "I'll get some champagne to celebrate." "Bertrand!" "Did you explain the situation to him?" " I was about to earlier!" " Don't tell him wild stories!" "Good old Philippe!" "Good old Philippe!" "Philippe." "How do you like my daughter?" "Well..." "She should work on her dorsal muscles." "Are you prepared to help her with that?" " I'd be happy to." "Yes, but..." "I mean in a legal way." " Don't you understand?" " Not too well, Mr. Barnier." " In marriage!" " Oh!" "She'll get a nice dowry that'll certainly improve your situation." "Really?" "Don't you have some project you'd like to carry out?" "A little project." "You must have one!" "I'd like to open my own little gym." "You'll be able to have seven!" "You could even own a small stadium!" " No!" "A stadium!" "Enormous!" "Come, you see that over there?" "Look, look, look." "In there is all you need for happiness!" "You don't believe me?" "Open it, you'll see." "Open it." "A stadium!" "A stadium." "Open it." "Open it!" "What's that?" " That's a bra." " The maid has taken my suitcase with her to the baron!" " What baron?" " My daughter's former fiancé." " She's engaged to him?" " No, to Oscar." "Oscar, my former driver." "From whom she expects a baby, and who went to the North Pole." "Another employee has stolen 60 million from me to marry my daughter, who's not my daughter." "And now the maid has left with the jewels!" "See why I wanted you to marry her?" " What's wrong with him?" " Bernadette!" " Oscar!" " Oscar!" "No, it's nothing!" "Go on!" "It's nothing!" " Oscar!" " Mr. Barnier!" "So happy to see you again!" " How are you?" " Fine, Mr. Barnier." "Call me Bertrand." "Tell us, what happened to you?" " When he fired me..." " But it was just a joke." "Just a joke!" "So you left to go to the North Pole?" " Yes." "But I couldn't board the ship." "My Oscar!" "You brute!" "How beautiful love is!" "You're not Oscar!" " Where's Oscar?" " He's taken the maid's diamonds, who's gone to the North Pole because she's expecting a child in a suitcase." " What are you saying?" " And here are your 60 million!" "That physical therapist is paranoid." "Oh, Bernadette!" "Sorry." "Baroness." "Miss!" " What's wrong?" " Oscar has returned." " Then everything's fine!" " But he left again!" " He'll return!" " But then he'll leave again." "But he'll come back." " Never give up hope." " Look at me, for example." "Of course." "Thank you, Bernadette." "I just came to return your father's suitcase." "Yours is here." "I couldn't open it, so I knew it wasn't mine." " You're lucky." " Don't worry." "One day, you'll leave from here too." "Dear baron, when she left, Bernadette took the wrong suitcase." "She has left hers and taken mine." "Could you have your driver return it to me?" "He could then take back the suitcase of Bern... ..of the baroness." "You'll send your driver?" "Thank you, dear baron." "That's it." "Well, those export issues?" "Impossible to take care of that." "I'm desperate, it's your fault." "Me?" " Why?" " Jacqueline has disappeared." " You'll find her." " How?" "I thought she was your daughter." " I have no name or address." " That's true, but don't worry!" " Could you do me a favor?" " What?" "Could you give me the suitcase?" " With the jewels?" " Yes, please." " I had trouble..." " Find another source of comfort." " One other thing." " What?" " I stole 60 million from you." " I know, you told me already." "I stole 60 million more." "That can't be true!" "It is." "And this time I mean really stolen." "Cash, from the register, at the bank..." "What are you doing?" " I'm calling the police." " Wait, I'll explain first." "How did you manage to do that?" " You signed some papers earlier." " Yes." "Among those I put a blank sheet where you wrote," ""Read and accepted."" " Yes!" "I completed that paper to give me full powers." " What are you doing?" " Calling the police." "I have a transaction to propose." "You give me back those jewels that really belong to me." "And I give back the millions that don't belong to me." "I accept your offer." "Bring me the money." "Then I'll give you the jewels." " What about Jacqueline?" " I'll give you her address." " You know it!" " She told me." " Deal!" "Can I have my note back?" " Since you're asking so nicely." "In my car, I have a suitcase with 60 million in cash." "I'll fetch it and then we can exchange." "He's good, but I'm better!" "I'll give him Bernadette's suitcase." "In a moment the driver will bring the one with the jewels." "I don't know Jacqueline's address, so I'll make one up." "Here you are, Mr. Barnier." " The address?" " Right." " Here you are." " 35, rue des Filles du Calvaire." "And my little note?" " All that's left are the jewels." " The jewels!" "What's that?" "Thanks, you're an honest man." "So are you." "Go meet up with Jacqueline." "You must be dying to meet her." " You should be my father-in-law." " You're just saying that." "Hurry up!" "My regards to Mrs. Barnier." "See you soon." "I taught that swindler another lesson!" "Bertrand!" "The new maid is on her way." "I have to do everything here." "What is it now?" "It's because of Oscar." "We have to find him." " Impossible!" " Your fault, you fired the maid." " What?" " It's your fault!" " I give up." "See you later." " See you later!" "Don't worry, my dear, we'll find Oscar." " I don't want to see him again." " You don't?" "Why?" "To run away just because Dad's masseur showed some muscles!" "Mr. Barnier's suitcase." "Baron de la Butinière sent me." "Very kind." "He requested Miss Bernadette's suitcase." "Certainly." "Thank the baron on behalf of my husband." "Certainly." "Good-bye." "Your father will be happy." "All that seems very strange." "Now that we don't have a maid, there are more people than ever!" "My dear Philippe!" "I'm so happy to see you again." "I came to say I'm sorry for what happened." "That's no problem." "It was all a misunderstanding." "Nothing serious." "My daughter." "How silly of me!" " Colette, fetch your father." " I had too much to drink." "When I saw her with that man, I snapped." "That's natural." "Don't worry about it." "Just a cousin returning from the North Pole." "Oh, really?" "I imagined something else." "I'm very impulsive." "Dear Philippe, thanks for coming." "I came to say I'm sorry." "No problem." "It was all a misunderstanding." "Nothing serious." "I told him all that already." " I warned you, I can't drink." " You did?" "It's bad for my nerves." "It makes me batty." " Batty?" " Batty!" " Oh!" "Batty!" " Not you?" "Let's talk about your marriage to my daughter." "All right?" "I told your wife that when I saw your daughter in the arms of your cousin..." " But I have no cousin!" " The one from the North Pole." " Oh!" "My driver!" "Don't worry, I fired him." " I don't understand." " There's nothing to understand!" "Your comments all seem to me a little incoherent." "Don't tell me about incoherent!" "OK, I won't say another word." "That's it, don't say another word!" "Sit down over there." "Let's continue the conversation we started earlier." "I told you about a nice dowry for my daughter, which would allow you to buy a very nice gym." "That dowry consisted of jewels that I put in a suitcase." "I fired my maid, who accidentally left with the wrong suitcase." "She took the one with the jewels and left hers." "Do you understand?" "Yes, I see." "If you don't understand something, tell me now." "No, Mr. Barnier, it's OK so far." "OK?" " OK." " Good." "And that explains why, when you opened it, you found..." "Bernadette's bra!" " The maid?" " The one I fired." " Who left with the suitcase?" " Containing the jewels!" " Is that all clear?" " Absolutely." "Then I'll continue." "One of my employees stole 60 million from me." " No!" " Why do you say no?" "Shut up!" "I'm simplifying it, because..." " He returned the money." " Great." "Stop interrupting me!" "In short, the money is in this suitcase." "The maid's suitcase?" "No!" "The money is in this suitcase." " The maid's suitcase." " No!" "Try to understand!" "You're like this!" "I asked the baron to have the suitcase brought back." " What baron?" " My maid has married a baron!" "Don't you understand anything?" "Yes, but it's all a bit complicated." "It looks complicated!" "But it's all very simple." "Before you is a suitcase with 60 million in bank bills." " What about the jewels?" "You have enough to worry about!" "Don't make it even more complicated!" "60 million in that suitcase." "Marry my daughter, it's yours." "Go on!" "Go!" "You don't believe me." "Open it, you'll see I'm not crazy." "Open it!" "Go!" "I'm batty!" "Batty!" "Batty!" "I'm batty!" " What's going on?" " He's batty!" "What's going on?" " Mr. Barnier is out of order." " Call the repair service." "He made strange comments about a suitcase full of jewels, cash, and an employee who stole 60 million." " And a maid who married a baron." " Yes, our maid married a baron." "Maybe you misunderstood about the rest." "So long as you get along with my daughter." "I'll leave you two alone." "Be good." "Did Dad tell you I'm expecting a child?" " You're expecting a child?" " Not really." "So why would he tell me that?" "I let him believe it, so I could marry Oscar." " You want to marry Oscar?" " Not now." "He keeps leaving." " What would you do in my place?" " Me, miss?" "I'm tired of living at home." "I want to get married!" "Understand?" "Very well." "You know I have a large dowry?" "In a suitcase!" "In a suitcase?" "Are you crazy?" " Germaine!" " I'm here." "There is a mystery I have to solve." "Here I had a suitcase that was very important." " With jewels worth 60 million?" " My husband isn't joking!" "Silence!" " Dad!" " Shut up!" "Bernadette returned your suitcase." " When?" " A while ago." "You were in your office." "She picked up her suitcase." " What?" "Everything's all right!" " Not at all!" "That's the suitcase I gave to Mr. Martin!" "If you wanted it, why'd you give it to him?" "You could have told me, you idiot!" " Now you have the explanation." " We're not finished yet!" "Mr. Martin brought another suitcase." "With 60 million in cash?" " Stop, please!" " Silence!" "Where is it?" "You asked the baron to have it picked up by his driver." " Has he come?" "Ten minutes ago." "Call Dr. Poussin at once!" "60 million in jewels and 60 million in cash disappeared!" "All your fault!" "Look at her stupid face!" " You're going crazy!" " Yes, I'm going crazy!" "True!" "No dowry!" "Nothing!" "Look." "I'm going crazy." "You won't get anything at all!" "Like this!" "Hello, doctor?" "Baron?" "Is Bernadette there?" "Barnier calling." "She left again?" "Why's that?" "Yes, it's my business." "What suitcase did she have?" "But I care!" "You're another one!" "Cretin!" "Idiot!" "Pimpleface!" "Like this!" "Why are you looking at me like that?" "Come on, let's go." "Your father needs to be alone for a little while." " I'd better leave." " No, stay for lunch." "Colette, keep your fiancé company." "Bertrand, your conduct leaves much to be desired." "What will your masseur think of you?" "Dear God, let that be my suitcase!" "That young woman again..." "She's gone." "She's here." "She didn't move." "Off you go!" " What?" " I'm desperate." " Guess what?" "We all are!" " I can't find Christian." "I think he'll return here in just a moment." " It that right?" "It's a story about a suitcase." "I don't tell it anymore, because everyone thinks I'm batty." " Batty?" " Batty!" "I know, nothing I say makes sense." "Listen, I'll once again use you as a hostage." "You'll hide here." "My suitcase!" " Charles!" " Let that be my suitcase!" "Something terrible happened to me!" " What?" " Nothing at all!" "Over here!" " Mr. Barnier." " Yes." " Jacqueline..." " I know." "You didn't find her." " I did." " Where?" "The address you gave me is a lovers' inn." "I'll be damned!" " Yes." " What a coincidence!" " You wouldn't have suspected?" " No." "I asked the boss, an awful woman, about Jacqueline, and she started talking about the price." " Oh!" "Was it reasonable?" "Now I understand why she didn't tell her real name." "My life is meaningless." "Here, the jewels, I'm no longer interested in them." "My dear Christian," "I'll turn around." "You open the suitcase." "If there are jewels inside, clap your hands twice, like this." "If it's still Bernadette's, say nothing." " Nothing!" " I don't understand." "Neither do I. I turn around, you open it." "Go ahead!" "At last!" "I won't let go of it again!" "Thank you!" "To show you my gratitude, I'll tell you the truth." "Earlier, I invented that address." "Jacqueline never was there, she is a highly respectable girl." " She's waiting for you in my office!" " Really?" "I'll never forget this!" "Coming!" " The job center sent me." " What is it?" "She's from the job center." "Oh, yes!" " The job center!" " So what?" "Have you been told something about the job?" "Yes." " Do you have references?" " Of course." " The first one is 24 years old." " 24 years?" "I felt strange when they gave me this address." "How's that?" " First, I didn't want to come." " Why?" "Read this." ""I, the undersigned," ""Mrs. Eugène Barnier..."" " That's my mother!" " Yes." " Charlotte!" " Yes." "I served your parents." " What do you know!" " Time passes." " You were a young man." " I was..." "Twenty-two, and still living with your parents." " I'm so glad to see you again!" " Me too." " Now I remember!" " I was young." " What have you done since?" " Worked in different households." " Married?" " No, but I have a daughter." " Great." "How old is she?" " She's about to get married." "That's marvelous!" "I'm embarrassed because I can't give her a dowry." "Please allow me to give her a small wedding present." " You're a very kind man." " What's the fiancé like?" "A nice boy, and he has a fine position." "You must be happy!" "He earns 6000 F a month." "He's the sales manager of a very large company." "Is it Christian Martin, by any chance?" " You know him?" " I know nobody else." "All day long." "Then you're Jacqueline's mother." " You know her too?" " She's my daughter!" " You knew?" " What?" "You knew that Jacqueline is your daughter?" " You look surprised." " I have good reason!" "Why do you tell me only today?" "I never dared." " Charlotte!" " Mr. Bertrand!" "Who is that lady?" "Our new maid." "Is she sad?" " No, ma'am." "Tears of joy." " Me too." "Are you so happy to work for us?" "Yes, ma'am." " Are you so happy about it?" " Yes." "We'll have a happy time in this house!" " She's here." " Who?" "Our child." " Jacqueline?" " Yes!" "Jacqueline!" "She's so cute!" " Mom!" " Jacqueline!" " What are you doing here?" " Jacqueline!" " This is your father." " My father?" "I always told you you were an orphan." "You must know the truth." "Mr. Barnier is your father." " The real one?" " The one and only!" "Let me kiss you!" " Mr. Christian Martin?" " Yes." " Let me hug you!" " Dad!" "So everyone is happy here." " Allow me to introduce myself." " No!" "Later!" "Oscar!" "I couldn't leave." "My Oscar!" "May I become your son-in-law?" " Agreed!" " Oh, no!" "Agreed!" " Come on, Bertrand!" " Agreed!" "Maybe I'm going crazy." "Give me my suitcase." "It's yours, my son." "My suitcase!" "What's in here is all you need to find happiness." "Open it!" "Bernadette!" "Subtitles:" "Eclair Group"