"Previously on Veronica Mars." "The Lilly Kane murder case took an unexpected turn... as Abel Koontz fired his public-appointed counsel." "Guess he's ready to die." "I guess what everybody says about you is true too." "You spy on Duncan Kane." "Duncan Kane." "He used to be my boyfriend." "Did you know that your dad and my mom were king and queen of the prom?" "I guess they were like a couple, or something." "This is an enlargement of a crime-scene photo taken the night of Lilly's murder." "And I need to show you something." "What are those shoes doing with Abel Koontz?" "Good question." "Two photos that don't add up." "There's only one person who can make sense of them... and only one person who can get me in to see that person." "Cliff McCormack." "Just the person I wanted to see." "Can I get you some coffee?" "A donut?" "Baked good of some sort?" "Aren't we pleasant?" "You're not gonna sell me a raffle ticket, are you?" "Close." "I want you to get me onto death row to meet with Abel Koontz." "You crazy kids." "This stuff you're into." "Hula-hoops, cramming into phone booths, visiting death-row inmates." " What's it gonna be next month?" " I'm serious." " You're Koontz's lawyer." " Interesting fact." "Once a person confesses to a crime... gets sentenced to death, and refuses to appeal... the term becomes "former lawyer. "" "You can get him to see me." "He alone decides who he'll see, and so far, he's seen no one." "Except you, his ever-loving lawyer." "Yes, me." "His $20-an-hour public defender." "Dershowitz, Cochran and Shapiro were offering up their limbs... and he comes here for representation." "I failed criminal law, and I still know that can't be good." "Tell me, do these look like the same pair of shoes to you?" "Sure." "I guess so." "Why?" "One of those photos was taken in Lilly's room after her murder." "The other is from Koontz's houseboat... two months later." " I see." "Why would Abel Koontz break back into the Kane house simply to steal a pair of shoes?" "Because he's crazy?" "Your dad didn't page me, did he?" "Help me get in to talk to Koontz, and I'll judge whether he's crazy for myself." "Write a letter stating your case." "I'll make sure he gets it." "And deny any involvement with what you're doing." "Thanks, Cliffy." " He's gonna say no." " You think?" "Sometimes people find it very difficult to say no to me." "Where are my clothes?" "Where are my clothes?" " Can you believe it?" " Yeah." "Veronica, did you find your clothes yet?" "People can be so awful here." "Well, does this towel make me look fat?" "You need something to wear?" "I usually have sweats in my locker." " Sorry." " No, this is perfect." "I just have to resist the urge to do a cartwheel." "Why don't you come have lunch with us?" "You're already dressed for the occasion." "I think I'm gonna go straight home and change, but thank you for this." "Really." "Two, four, six, eight." "Number 26: "Have you ever done it in a car?"" " Yes." " Number 27:" " "Have you ever done it in a moving car?"" " Yes, again." "Oh, my God." "Meg, is Veronica Mars wearing your uniform?" " Yeah." " Better make sure she washes it." " I'd boil it if I were you." " We fear what we don't understand." " Veronica's cool." "Really." " Tell that to Logan." "She put a bong in his locker, got him suspended." "Or to Ashley." "Told her that her dad was having an affair." "A week later, her parents split up." "You're too nice, Meg." "The girl's a skank." "Says Pam, the girl who scored a 63 on the purity test." "Shut up." " I did not." " What's a purity test?" "This online list of questions of everything you could do... that's dirty, fun or illegal." ""Have you smoked pot?" "Have you ever shoplifted?"" "Have you ever done a reverse cowgirl?" "Then it tallies your answers and gives you the score of what percentage pure you are." "The lower the score, the badder you've been." "So if you get a 60, you're 60 percent pure, 40 percent sack jockey." " Anything under 60's really slutty." " Unless you're a guy." "It was e-mailed to the whole school." "Everyone's taking it." "What'd you score?" "Ninety-one." "Dude, Snow White took it and scored a 89." "I think it's sexy we decided to wait." "All right, Cole." "Kissing on the lips now." "Somebody describe second base to me." "Tell me what it's like." "Is it beautiful there?" "Twenty seconds, baby." "You're this excited about the Super Featherweight crown?" "I know." "I'm usually so passive." "But our bond goes stronger every day, he who has satellite dish." "So did you take the purity test?" "Yeah, me neither." "It's stupid, right?" " What'd you score?" " Seventy." "You are 30 percent danger-loving, girl-touching rock star." "More like one point away from being cool." "Here." "Now you're a big stud." "Happy?" "Wallace?" "Can I talk to you for a moment?" "That had to be worth at least two points." "I thought we talked about you hanging out with that girl." "I've only heard bad things about the Mars family since we moved here." "Except from me." "We have the chance of making a fresh start in Neptune." "Now, there have to be lots of respectable kids in your school." "I don't want you spending all your time with Veronica Mars." "I'm an angel." "I'm hot." "Straight from heaven." "Did she invite me for supper?" "No, it's no big deal." "You know how many girls she caught flashing me?" "Listen to this." ""Not that innocent?" "Buy the results of anyone's purity test." "Ten dollars will let you know if you're dating an angel or a hottie from hell. "" "That's crazy." " You can go there and buy anyone's test?" " I never thought I'd say this... but I kind of can't wait for school tomorrow." ""Ever had sex with your best friend's boyfriend?"" "Ride me, cowgirl." "Oh, you little tramp." "What are you thinking?" "I didn't say anything." "I didn't say anything." "I knew when you came back from Spain last summer there was something different." "Should've guessed you slept with Javier." "Couldn't shut up about him." "He was our tour guide." "Was sex included in the package, or was that extra?" "I did not have sex with him." "I haven't had sex with anybody." "This is crazy." "I didn't even take the test." ""You ever slept with someone who spoke a language you didn't know?"" ""Have you ever had a fling while on vacation?"" ""Do you lie to protect your reputation?"" "It all makes sense." "Every question here." "You turned me into a joke." "Thanks." "L..." "I didn't even do anything." " I know." " You believe me?" "Meg, you're the last good person at this school." "I'd believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning." "If you want, I can find who posted that test for you." "We'll clear your name, and make somebody pay." "Really?" "Unless there's a fairy godmother already on it." "Sync by vNaru" "I don't really see anything." "Maybe if I apply a different formula?" "Is there any way to convert cyphertext to plaintext... without initial knowledge of the crypto algorithms?" " Excuse me?" " I'm trying to figure out... how someone could've overridden control framework on the school server... in order to access everyone's password." "Can you help me?" "Yeah." "In real life, I'm actually a gym teacher." "The person you wanna talk to is Mac." "Try the parking lot." "Look for the blue hair." "Damn it." "Have you ever seen that movie, Repo Man?" "Just call me Otto." "That's really criminal of you, Otto." "I'm impressed." " Thanks." " I don't know why I bother locking it... in the first place." "It barely runs." " Mostly, I just keep it around for status." " For shizzle." "Check out the LeBaron." "Styling." " I'm Veronica, by the way." " Mac." " Because you're good with computers?" " No, because my last name's Mackenzie." "How'd you know I was good with computers?" "Every student has an e-mail address that's easily accessible." "You're veronicamars@neptunehigh. org." "Meg would be megmanning@neptunehigh. org." "That's the easy part." "Anyone can buy a copy of the test, but to post the results in the first place... you need to use your password." "Who has that information?" "Only the student and the IT guy." " Neptune High School has their own IT guy?" " Renny Demouy." "We share him with the school district, but he's here Tuesday and Friday mornings." "You know his schedule by heart?" "I do a lot of computer stuff." "Plus, you'll understand when you see him." "Cool." "Thanks." "Yeah, if Renny can't help you, let me know." "Because I might be able to sneak you into the system, get you some answers." "That's really criminal." "Thanks." "Why are you holding your hands like that?" "So that one day, in your memoirs, you'll describe me as inscrutable." "I was leaning more toward bonkers." "I'll take what I can get." "I guess I'll get that." "It's been over two months now and no rent." "You've been really great, and I appreciate it." "Well, I'm tired of being great." "I have my own bills to worry about." "Listen, can we talk about this later?" "I had to take a painkiller for my back, and I'm a little fuzzy." "That fall that I took on your front steps really wrecked me." "You know, you should probably get those fixed." "From New York City to the California coast..." "Ms. Popham is hoping to bring a little bit of Broadway to the beach." " Meg?" " Thank you, Michael." "Auditions for Cabaret will be held this Friday immediately after school." "You're quite the actress yourself, aren't you, Meg?" "Weren't you the lead in Guys and Dolls last spring?" "Yeah." "Okay, that's a wrap." "That was so uncool." " He shouldn't have gone off script." " No, it was my fault." "I'm just not myself lately." "Maybe Mrs. Dent will fire him and promote you." "You should've been picked anyway, Kimmy." "Your audition tape was awesome." "Thanks, Meg." "Hey." "You okay?" "Barely." "Boys have been calling my house, e - mailing me porn... slut-sneezing." "What?" "Slut." "Slut." "Oh, yeah." "Okay." "Whoever posted those results... had to have gotten hold of your password somehow." "Here's my very important question." "Does anyone else besides you know it?" "No." "No one." "Well, maybe my sister, Lizzie." "Oh, but we're very close." "I wish I had posted it." "You have no idea what a pain in the ass it is... living in that house with her." "It's all, "Meg got a scholarship." "Meg keeps her room spotless." "Meg never got kicked out of summer camp for waking up in the swim coach's cabin. "" " That it?" " Unless you wanna tell me... you created the fake test for your sister." " No." "But you might as well blame me." "I get blamed for everything else." " Mr. Demouy?" " Yes?" " I was..." " Can I help you with something?" "I hope so." "My friend, Julie, it's her sweet 16 tomorrow... and I wanted to change her screensaver to say "happy birthday"... like, as a surprise, but I don't know her password." "I was told I could get it from you." "She won't mind, I promise." "We're like total BFFs." "I don't know what that means, but I cannot give you someone else's password." "They are confidential." "Am I supposed to, like, pay you, or something?" "I cannot give it to you." "I would lose my job." "I'm sorry, but... no way." " Good job, Kimmy." " All right." "Good job, Kimmy." "Meg, you're up." "Check it out." "Mama thinks I'm living in a convent" "A secluded little convent" "In the southern part of France" " Mama doesn't even have an inkling" " We do." "Slut." "That I'm working in a nightclub In a pair of lacy pants" "Nasty!" "So please, sir" "If you run into my mama" "Don't reveal my indiscretion" "Give a working girl..." "Life is so not a cabaret." "I can't take this anymore." "This is too much." "Everyone thinks I'm the biggest slut in school." "Well, second biggest." "I suppose the only surprise is that it took them this long to come after me." "Dear Mr. Koontz... my name is Ellen White... and I'm a graduate student in criminology at San Diego State University." "I also happen to be from your hometown." "I would love the opportunity to talk with you." "I admit it." "I splurged and spent 10 bucks to read my own purity test." "Apparently, I've pleasured the swim team while jacked up on goofballs." "You're back." "I need to change the password on my e-mail account." "Someone managed to figure out the old one." "That's why your password should always include numbers as well as letters." "Everyone thinks it's fun to use the name of your dog or boyfriend... but that actually makes it easy to crack." "My old password was GJ7B!" "X." "Well, try and make this one a little bit tougher." "What do you think you're doing?" "What does it look like?" "You are not supposed to be in here." " You have a stove in your own apartment." " No, I don't have a stove." "I have a hot plate." "Jeremy, I have been about as patient with you as I'm gonna be." "You think that I charge rent for the hell of it?" "I rely on that money." "God, you're like this mosquito that's buzzing around my ear..." " Hey, watch it, man." " No, I can't enter my home, right?" "My home without being accosted." "Every time I make a move I get this yappity-yap in my face." "Yeah, all right then." "Let's get this..." "Hold on, son." "Hold on." "Go ahead." "Go ahead." "Make your dinner." "Come with me, Wallace." "Come on." " You set an example for your brother now." " That's exactly what I plan on doing, Mom." "Listen to me, Wallace." "Come on." "Hey." "You ready to put the hurt on that Pythagorean theorem?" "You don't even wanna mess with me on that today." "I just about merked my mom's crazy, no-rent-paying tenant." "That guy's sleazy." "So I hope merked means something bad." "You know, my dad's still got that sheriff sheen." "He's great at scaring people away." " No, I got it covered." " Seriously, you should talk to him." "Am I giving you the birds and bees again, Wallace?" "Wallace's mom is having trouble with her tenant." "Dude's unstable." "Wallace got in a fight with him." " It's really not a big deal." " I'll stop by." "It'll take two seconds." " I don't even know when he'll be home." " No, it's nothing." "Just leave the address for me, will you?" "All right?" "Don't worry." "It's his specialty." "Busting heads and breaking hearts." " This was written in 1928..." " So I found out that this version... of the purity test was originally published in Grind Girl magazine." " My sister subscribes to that." " I know." "She's the only person at Neptune High who does." "Veronica." "You seem to be in a sharing mood." "Why don't you tell us your position on this?" " All fours." " Dick Casablancas... you can see me after class." "Congratulations, Dick." "You just made my list." "Hi, Mrs. Fennel?" "I'm Keith Mars, Veronica's father." " Your daughter's not here." " I know." "Wallace mentioned that trouble you had with the tenant." " I thought I could be some help." " Thanks, but I have it under control." " It's no trouble at all." " Look." "If I have a problem, I'll go to the police." "Wallace was concerned." "Well, I'll tell you what." "I'll worry about my children, you worry about yours." " Hello?" " Ellen White, please." "Speaking." "I'm calling to set up a visitation with Abel Koontz." "He's agreed to see you this Friday between 2 and 4." "Prison guidelines are as follows:" "No cameras permitted inside..." "So now it comes out." "Meg was one of those Britney Spears virgins, huh?" "And you were her noble Justin, just keeping it all on the down-low." "I did not have sexual relations with that woman." "Come on, man." "We know you did." "Sweet ones always turn out to be the freakiest." "No, man." "Meg's a good girl." "Really good." "Good at everything she does." "And she does do everything." "Keep it up, hotshot." "Everyone's so impressed." "Hey, maybe I should post some of the love poems you wrote to Meg." " I know where she keeps them, you know?" " Meg always said you were immature." "Funny, according to her purity test, you were always premature." " Shut up, Lizzie." " Stop talking about my sister, Cole." " You don't even like her." " Maybe not, but I love her." "What's up, Veronica?" " Wanna interrogate me some more?" " Why, yes." "I do." "I was supposed to meet Meg here after lunch." " Do you know where she is?" " She didn't come to school today." "Is she all right?" "Let's just say my parents have stopped bugging me to be more like her." "First, my dad wanted to sue the school, or kill whoever posted that score... and then he searched my room." " For what, your porn stash?" " No." "There were these letters I got from a guy I met in Spain." "He had a crush on me and wrote all this sexy stuff." "Dad kind of flipped out." "Told me I was acting just like Lizzie." "That must've been fun." "After everything else, I was..." "I was just too decimated to make it to school today." "I don't see how you do it." " Do what?" " Deal." "The way people talk about you." "Does it bother you, the things they say?" "No." "Here's what you do." "You get tough." " You get even." " Really?" "Works for me." "And you are going to school tomorrow." "And you're not taking crap from anyone." "What the hell is that?" "Oh, my God." "It's gas." " Come on." "Come on." " I gotta turn it off..." "Wait." "Cover your mouth." "Cover your mouth." "All right." "All right." "Hurry up!" "Hurry up." "Hurry up." " Are you okay?" " Yeah, I'm okay." " You okay?" " Yeah." "Now we have something to go to the police with." "I'm sorry." "There's really nothing I can do to help." "You're gonna need a lawyer and file an eviction notice." "Best case, he won't be out for 60 days." "Thanks." "That's very helpful." " Yeah." "Real helpful." " Come on in." " Wallace." " Hey, Mr. Mars." "Think I could crash on your couch tonight?" "My house is getting exterminated, and we have to be out of the house for the night." "Of course." "You hungry?" "We just finished supper." " Thanks." "Yeah." " What happened?" "Nothing." " Did you ever get to talk to Mrs. Fennel?" " Yeah." "I went over there." "Wallace's mom had a plan, and I didn't wanna overstep." "Overstepping is your main form of transportation." "You know, I have to go back to the office and grab some stuff." " My mom thinks I'm staying with Norman." " Who's Norman?" "Norman is my imaginary, straight-A, Eagle Scout, "mama's boy" friend." "He sounds boring for an imaginary friend." "Mom seems to like him." "I guess she'd freak out if she knew you were staying at a girl's house, huh?" "What?" "Not the flashing thing again." "Let's just say the old biddies at the Kane Software rumor mill... are filling her head with a lot of garbage." "Not a big fan of the Mars family, huh?" "I know." "It's whack." "I get it." "It's fine." " Want some popcorn?" " Yeah." "Thanks." "Does it ever bother me what people say?" "Okay, maybe once in a while." "Depends who's listening." " Who the hell are you?" " So you are moving out." "You have until, let's say 6 a. m." "That gives you..." "Six hours to pack up all your stuff." "Yeah, I'm not going anywhere." "Six a. m., big boy." "Time to get going." " You can't be in here." " You think you're pretty clever, huh?" "Taking advantage of a single mom, a 16-year-old kid, huh?" "Okay." "Well, it's over." " You're out!" " This is my apartment." "It stopped being your apartment two minutes ago." "So, what do you think?" "You ready to impress me with your nuttiness?" "Because I hear that's your shtick." "Come on, son." "Perform for me." "Let's see the show." "Let's see if you can scare me." "Is that it?" "Is that all you got?" "That's nothing." "You wanna see crazy?" "You pay attention... because this is gonna get good." "See?" "That was crazy." "Now, I want you to pack your bags and get out." "You're never to bother Mrs. Fennel again." "You don't talk to her." "You don't drop by." "You never lived here, right?" " Right?" " Right." "Can you use your investigative skills to help me find my keys?" "You got breakfast?" "Don't act like this isn't usual." " Wallace will think I did it for him." " I know you did." "Have you seen my keys?" "Well, what do you know?" "The last place you'd think to look." "Ten bucks a pop, man." "Somebody's getting rich." "I know some kids who have ordered dozens." "Did you order any?" "Think I have $ 10 to spare?" "You've seen my car, right?" "Can you e-mail me the dummy corporation info anyway?" "There might be something." "The computer won't let me access my account." "Somebody's logged on as you right now." "It says they're on a computer in the journalism room." "So how hush-hush are the contents of your mailbox?" "Just homework and class schedules." "Anything on the QT I keep in my personal e-mail, not my Neptune." "Oh, God." "What?" "My Outbox." "There's an e-mail from me, to my ex-boyfriend." "Duncan Kane?" "You used to be all anyone gossiped about." "You still are, just... in a different way." "So, what does it say?" ""Dear Duncan." "I want you to know... that I still love you very much, and I think about you constantly." "Every time I see you, my heart breaks." "I need to tell you that when we were dating, I had VD." "I hope you didn't catch anything from me. "" "Am I naked?" "Because in my nightmares, I'm usually naked." "Someone wants to chat with whoever's pretending to be you." "They think I'm still whoever was on my account." "But the bells rung." "They'd know that whoever it is would've left for their next class." "Unless they're not at school." ""Can you get a password for me?"" ""Another one?"" " We have all the information we need." " We do?" "Wait, Veronica." "Who is froggy?" "Do we know?" "Who's froggy?" "There's just one frog who knows everyone at Neptune High's password... and I followed him to the low-rent version of lovers' lane:" "Inspiration Rock Quarry." "And while there's nothing more satisfying than solving a case... there's something seedy about being the interruptus in someone else's coitus." "Who would wanna sully the reputation of the nicest girl in school?" "Cole, the sexually deprived boyfriend?" "Pam, the type-A, tight-ass debutante?" "Lizzie, the oversexed, overlooked little sister?" "Or single, white female, Kimmy?" "Hey, Kimmy." "Check this out." "I followed our IT guy around last night." "Guess where he ended up." " Oh, my God." " I heard the purity test website... is gonna start posting pictures to illustrate the questions." "Wouldn't these be perfect?" "Look." "Number 23: "Have you ever touched it?" Well, I guess you have." "This here's a stellar example of number 78." "And this one..." "I think my score went down just looking at that." "Although, it would be hard to score below 14, wouldn't it, Kimmy?" " Why are you doing this?" " You messed with the wrong person." "You don't even know me, and you posted that test." " No, I didn't." " Stop lying." "I know you got my password from Renny." "You know, he's 23." "You're 17." "I don't think they allow conjugal visits in prison." "Please, it wasn't me." " Then who was it?" " It was Pam." "Pam posted the test for you." "She hates you because Duncan is still hung up on you." "I only posted Meg's, I swear." " Why would you do that?" " She gets everything I want." "Everything." "The lead in the musical, cheerleader, the anchor job." "Thanks, Kimmy." "What did you...?" "Oh, God." "So your boyfriend was the one running the purity test website, right?" " No." " Kimmy... why do you insist on pissing me off?" "You and Pam aren't smart enough to pull that off." "Seriously." "He didn't even know why I wanted the passwords." "I don't think he even knows the purity test exists." "Wait." "What are you gonna do with that tape?" "Hey." "This is the debate club piece, the school board meeting... and the lacrosse story." " Okay." "No problem." " Hurry, Meg." " And you're live in five, four..." " We got the feed. ... three, two..." "Last night's victory continued the winning streak for the Pirate lacrosse team." "Kevin Stocklin has the story." " Please, it wasn't me." " Then who was it?" "It was Pam." "Pam posted the test for you." "She hates you because Duncan is still hung up on you." "Note to self:" "Cue tape for client." "I only posted Meg's." "I swear." "Why would you do that?" "She gets everything I want." "Everything." "The lead in the musical, cheerleader, the anchor job." "Thanks, Kimmy." "What did you...?" "And last night's lacrosse match..." "You dumb, wannabe-stalker freak show." " I had to tell her." " Of course you did." "Because you're spineless." "Oh, please start crying, because you're not pathetic enough as it is already." "Nice haircut." "By the way, does Meg know you bring her picture to Fantastic Sam's?" "Very dramatic, Kimmy." "Very Meg." "What?" "All fours, huh, Dick?" "You mess with the bull." "There was really only one person smart enough to set up the purity test." "How can I resent someone who took sex-crazed 09ers for their allowance money?" "I was looking for a white horse." "Oh, so now I'm your knight in shining armor?" "Pretty much." "All of a sudden, everyone's running up to me... saying how they never believed I did those things." "Cole, even." "Not that I care." "I'm glad." "Funny, no one's come running up to me." " It's because people are afraid of you." " Then something's working." "Getting tough?" "Yeah." "That was good advice, and I needed that." "The getting even part?" "You might wanna rethink that one." "You do have friends, Veronica." "Duncan?" "Hey." "Hey." "Somebody stole my computer password... and used it to send fake e-mails from me to you." "So I don't have VD." "I've never had VD." "And I don't still love you just so that you know." "Good." "Because I'm not, you know, still hung up on you or anything." "I never thought you were." "Wait." "You don't have VD?" "Because I keep getting this thing on my lip... and I'm not sure who I could've gotten it from." "So my tenant moved out." "Wallace said I have you to thank for it." "I know how the law works." "Slowly." "And I was..." "I was worried for Wallace." "The fact that you helped me even though I was awful to you..." "You're a very decent man." "Yeah, I'd like to think that, but really, I just like tossing people out." "It's kind of a hobby." "I don't know if you've heard the things they say." "Oh, I know." "Trust me." "I barely let me socialize with myself." "I'm a bad influence." " Do you have any sugar?" " Oh, yeah." "They say the truth will set you free... and I'm looking for the truth in a maximum-security prison." "Don't worry." "The irony isn't lost with me." "Ellen." "Well, aren't you a breath of fresh air?" "I wanna thank you for taking the time to meet with me, Mr. Koontz." "It's always nice to chat with a hometown girl." "Do you ever get back to good old Stallingsburg for the pear blossom festival?" "You mean apple blossom." "Of course." "Just bought my tickets for May." "You know... you remind me of someone." "How old are you, Ellen?" "Twenty-two." "She must've been the same age when I knew her." "Time's up." "I shouldn't bore you with ancient history." "Now, what should we chat about?" "Well, I found these photographs online." "I think they could prove you didn't take Lilly's shoes the night of the murder." "It might be enough evidence to get you a retrial." "Now, why would I want a retrial when I could have all this?" "Somebody had to plant those shoes." "You never saw Lilly Kane in your life." "Why confess to killing her?" "So you're one of those." "What will it take for Keith Mars to let sleeping dogs lie?" "Do you wanna know exactly... how I bashed your friend's brains in?" "Oh, I know who you are, Veronica Mars." "I knew your mom when she used to visit the office during lunch hours." " I don't believe you." " You're a very dedicated young lady." "Certainly you didn't inherit that quality from poor, scattered Lianne." "Unfortunately, for you, that makes you your father's daughter." "My dad tried to save your life." "I meant your real father." "Think about it, Veronica." "Look in a mirror." "Are you the product of a schlubby sheriff... or the king and queen of the prom?" "Guard."