"THE DON Ø AFFAIR Based on true events" " What are you on, Frank?" " Level 7." "I'm on 10." "Try and stick out your chest." "You're running like this." " So do the animals." " No, no..." "Bloody hell, it's Brian!" "Hi." "It's Brian Holm!" "Hi, I'm Frank." "I'm a big fan." "I've been following your cycling career." "You've really inspired me." " How long have you been going?" " 15 minutes." "We'll do 15 more." " Are you drinking yourself fit?" " Fluids are important, you know." "After 15 minutes you've already had half a litre." "Before he's set the machine, he's already drunk the first litre." " You're like a camel, Frank." " Real athletes don't do that." " I don't drink at all, Brian." " I thought prevention was important." "It's like eating before you get hungry." "Total nonsense." "See you, Brian." "Bye, Frank." "Don't drink yourself to death." " It looks great!" "Let's dish it out." " We've got some scallops." " Who wants those?" " Do we get that?" " You can have that one." " I just want the tuna." " Two salmon for me." " There's only three of those..." " Wait!" "Let's share them first." " Let go of the tuna." "Honestly..." " I want tuna as well, then." " Me too." "Now it's total anarchy." "Every man for himself." "I can choose whatever I want, then." "It looks delicious." "Cheers." "Thanks for having us." "I bought these especially." "I thought of getting eggcups instead." " I might get them for the shop." " Good idea." "I like the pottery." " What is it?" " You're so positive." "Are you really, sweetie?" "It worked, then." " What is that string?" " It's the Red String." "Kabbalah." "This string has been tied around Rachel's tomb in Jerusalem, Israel." "Laugh all you want." " Does it ward off evil?" " It protects us from the evil eye." "It's a philosophy saying that we're all part of God." "We have to work our way back to the divine through the eight stages..." " What a load of crap!" " No, it's not." " Yes, it is." " Demi Moore is totally into it." " Really sweet girl, by the way." " Smashing girl." "You can't help but notice when people are suddenly lit up." " So it's a kind of power point?" " You're really shutting off." "No, I'd just like to see some proof that it works." "Would Demi Moore and Britney ever..?" "They're not stupid." "It's an old wives' tale." "There's no scientific proof that it works." "It could get you into a music festival, but that's it." " Have you worked with Demi Moore?" " No, but I've hung out with her." " She's really sweet." " Jude Law is into it as well." " Oh yeah." "When is the film out?" " This Saturday." "Don't you want to come to my gala premiere on Saturday?" " Casper and Frank are going to..." " Speedway." "Jude will be there." "We're going out for dinner first." "Is it a real gala premiere?" "It's too short, honey." "Try and hit it earlier." " Earlier?" " Higher up." "Otherwise I'll smash." " I was trying to say something..." " It needs to be longer." " It needs to be longer." " Longer?" " You're finishing now, right?" " Sorry?" " You've finished, yeah?" " No, we've only just started." " We booked the court for 10 am." " I'm certain that I booked it." " Maybe they've double-booked us." " I don't understand that." " When did you book it for?" " Wednesday, 10 o'clock." " Today is Tuesday." " Is it?" "She just returned from New York." "She's a bit..." " What a shame." " I'm sorry." "We could play a mixed double if you want." " But you were playing." " No, that's okay." "Honey, come here." "You'll only lose." "It's better if we play together." " I'm Mina." "That's Svenne." " Hi, I'm Mia." " Sorry?" " Svenne." " Okay. 0-0, first serve." " Hang on." "Ready?" "Whoops!" "Sorry." " Come on, honey." " Whoops." "Look at Mina." "She's got a good serve." "Oh..." " Look at her." " Alright, alright." "Great, honey!" "You need to get to a shot like that." "Otherwise we'll lose." " Oh no." " 4-0 to you." " Trying to drink yourself fit?" " What?" "That's not possible." "Drinking before you're thirsty is as dumb as eating before you're hungry." "I met Brian Holm the other day, you see." "He said that only wimps drink as a preventive measure." "You should only drink when you're thirsty." " You do drink a bit too much." " Do I?" "I'm just thirsty." " It's a joke." "Come on." " Have you had enough?" " Are you ready?" " 6-0?" "Mina is an excellent player." "I was really surprised." "She must be the best female player I've met." " Having the height of a model helps." " She's not that tall." "Yes, she is." "Hi." "Thanks for a great match." "It was a lot of fun." " But you owe us a rematch." " Maybe we'll bump into you." "Or we could exchange phone numbers." " I'll give you my mobile number." " We have to get going..." "We met another couple." "The girl was really good." "Quite a lot better than Mia." "Her name is Mina." "Sweet girl." " She's taller than Mia as well." " That makes it easier, I guess." "Mia is at eye level with the net, so her vision is reduced." "Frank, this is for you." "From me." " Gosh." "Thanks a lot." " It doesn't look like much, but..." "What do you mean?" "It's dental floss." "Put out your left arm." "The one you've got your watch on." " Does it have to be the left one?" " Oh yes." "In India, they wipe their arses with their left hand." "It's versatile." "Frank... concentrate on wiping away all negative thoughts." "I'll tie seven knots." "Then you won't have any negative thoughts." "Great." " Now it works." "Give it a try." " How?" " Feel." "Look around you." " I feel the need to pee." "Claire?" "That was crude." "Those speedway tickets..." "We had the invitation." "I just want to make sure." "Do we pick them up at the entrance, or do they get sent here?" " I thought Frank had booked them." " Don't we have any?" "No." "I thought you were taking care of it." " I'll give them a call." " You can't call Flemming Østergaard." "A deadline is a deadline." "If Flemming thinks we're taking the piss   he'll be furious." "We have to approach it in a different way." " We have to go out there." "To Don Ø." " Who is Don Ø?" "Just so we're agreed..." "Take it easy in there." "We're the ones asking for favours." "We have to show him we're sorry." "Don't start..." "What's happening?" " Wow... deluxe." " There he is." " Hi, Flemming." "Can we come in?" " Yeah, go on." "That's a good sign." "Sorry to disturb you on your day off." "It's alright." "I take it it's important?" "Come in and tell me." "Well, it's..." " Hi, Casper." " Hi." "Good to see you." " It's about the speedway event." " You were invited, right?" "Yes." "The thing is..." "We had the letter." " We were really chuffed." " What's the problem?" "Our secretary forgot to call and say we were coming." " Then you can't get in." " That's it." " You have to respect the deadline." " We know." "It's so annoying." "It's not the tickets..." "We just wanted to say we're sorry." "We're talking two tickets?" "I'll try and do some magic." " Could you?" " Maybe." " Great place." " Yeah, it's terrific." "Flemming..." "What's our chance of getting in?" " I'll fix it." "But only this once." " Oh yes." "Absolutely." "I'm making oatmeal balls with my granddaughter." " Hi there." " That's Vanessa." "This is Casper and Frank." "Say hi." " We're making oatmeal balls." " That's nice." "Why don't you offer one to our guests?" "Is that for me?" "Oh, I got the big one!" " Give one to Frank as well." " No thanks." "I'll pass." " You'll pass?" " I never eat cakes made by children." "Okay." "Did you hear that, Vanessa?" "You've rolled them by hand, haven't you?" "No thanks." " Their hygiene can be pretty dodgy." " Have a taste." " They're not always that clean." " Vanessa is clean." "You know how children's fingers go through the toilet paper." " And they don't wash afterwards." " Have you heard anything like it?" "I'm not saying that Vanessa is filthy." "But children can be." " I thought it was delicious." " I can see that Casper loves it." " Have one, then." " I've fixed the tickets." " Why the hell didn't you take one?" " Did you see how gross they were?" " Yes, but you have to, damn it!" " I don't know how you could do it." " Well, I'm not going to." " They can make you sick." "I'm going down there now." "I've got all my badminton gear." "Honey, we booked a court." "We can't just cancel." "Oh." "Okay." "Hi, Mina." "It's Frank, the badminton guy." " Oh, you're having a cosy time." " Hi." "I'll go jump in the shower." "I'm sweating like a pig." " You managed to play after all?" " Yeah, I thought I'd go anyway." "That's great." " Who did you play, then?" " I played with Mina." " With Mina?" " Yeah." " Was she down there?" " No, I called." "After you cancelled." "I thought I'd ask her, and she wanted to play." " Oh." "Was Svenne there as well?" " No, he couldn't make it." " Oh." " Mina and I played a singles match." "That's a bit weird, playing singles." " Do you think?" " Yes." " You've played all this time, then?" " No..." "No, we went to the cafeteria and had a drink." " You went to the cafeteria?" " Yes, we had a drink." "Oh." " Casper gave me a Red String." " Really?" "I put it on to make him happy." "It's coming off now." " Maybe I could wear the red ones." " Yes." "Good idea." " Or maybe not." " God, the weather is crap." "I hate Denmark." "I hope it won't be like this on Saturday." "Then I'll freeze." " Hi, Mina." " Hi!" "Hi, Mia." "What a coincidence." "We've just been looking at evening gowns." "I'll see you later, okay?" "I'll call you." " Where are you going?" " Home, by bus." " Do you want a lift?" " Yes, thanks." "That would be great." "Honey..." "You better jump in the back." " It's a bit cramped in the back." " Okay." "Mina has got longer legs than you, honey." " Where do you live?" " At the end of H.C. Ørsteds Vej." " What the hell are you doing?" " Ouch!" "He stepped out right in front of us." " Are you okay, Mina?" " Yeah, I'm fine." " What's wrong, honey?" " I banged my head on the..." "That's the way it's going to be." "End of story." " I don't get it." " I don't want to discuss it." "You're not going to see Mina, and that's it." "But there's nothing going on." "We just play a little badminton." "You can't control yourself when she's around, Frank." " Can't a guy have a female friend?" " A female friend?" " Yes." "A badminton partner..." " No, not like that." "Absolutely not." "Ouch, ouch." "Listen, Frank." "I'm going to this premiere now, and..." "Let's just leave it." " Don't be upset if people laugh." " Thanks a lot." "That's very helpful." "I'm sure some people will laugh at you." "Just so you're prepared." " There's not many people around." " We're going to eat first." "Okay." "Dinner is included!" " Hang on." "I need to see your ticket." " Casper has it." " There you go." " Did you get another one?" " Didn't you get a ticket for me?" " For you?" "No, no." "I haven't had one, then." "It didn't come through the mail." " Don't you have a ticket?" " No." "I talked to Flemming Østergaard the other day." "He said he'd send me a ticket, but I haven't received it." "You need a ticket to get in." "I'm sorry." " You know who I am, right?" " Yes, I do." " I'm a friend of Flemming's." " Sorry." "You still need a ticket." "Jesus..." "Flemming!" "Listen..." "Have you sent my ticket to the office or to my home address?" " I haven't sent it." " Okay." "You've got it here?" "No." "You're not going." "Your behaviour the other day was unacceptable." "Vanessa was really upset." "Weren't you?" "I just don't like sweets produced by children." "It's not a matter of what you like." "Your behaviour was disgraceful." "Oatmeal balls and speedway are not connected." "If you want to go you have to eat an oatmeal ball." "It's as simple as that." "Give Frank an oatmeal ball if he wants to see speedway." " I'm really sorry, Flemming." " I was upset as well." " That was yummy." " Have another one." "Finish it, Frank." "If you want to go to speedway." " Give him one more." " You can't be serious." "You bet I am." " Bloody hell, Flemming..." " Watch your language!" "Give Frank another one." "Look how happy he is, Vanessa." "They seem warm." "Have they been in the fridge?" "No, they haven't." "They're handmade." "Right, Vanessa?" "I've got a tummy ache." "I've got a tummy ache, I said!" " It's those oatmeal balls." " I've had the runs for two days." "They're crap." "Don't eat them." " I'm going home." " No, Frank!" " I feel bad, honey." " Yeah." "Oh no... oh no, honey!" " What is it?" " I think I've shat the bed." " I couldn't help it." " God, it stinks!" "Could you get some towels, please?" "And a black bin liner." " Who is that?" " I don't know." "Who is it?" "We haven't invited anybody." "That's strange." " Who is it, honey?" " It's Mina." "Hi, Frank." "What's up, Frank?" "I thought we were playing badminton." " I don't think I can make it." " He's not well." " I'm sick." " He shat the bed." "He does that sometimes." "I'll see you later, Frank." "Give me a call." "Okay." "I'll find my own way out." "Bye." "Bye, bye." "Yuck, what a smell."