"Why don't you, like... act something." "Like, right now?" "Yeah." "OK." "We'll do this:" "I'll act something out..." "Uh huh ...and you guess who it is." "Ok." "Done" "Umm, like..." "Sting?" "Jesus, Jadzka but I didn't have time to brush my teeth this morning!" "A kingdom for the one who would've guessed" "Olivia was playing the "Titanic" scene." "Now, Olivia may not have much talent, but she does have one thing that many of us, and especially poor Jadzka would love to have:" "She's got a daddy, a rich daddy, a filthy rich daddy." "Filthy rich, meaning what?" "Lots of rich people have jets and yachts, but Olivia's daddy had something else." "Olivia and Jadzia worked hard in the editorial office of one of the biggest newspapers." "Heddie, out for a smoke!" "Despite their effortful creative contributions, there were some who would have loved to see their asses kicked out." "Especially the editor-in-chief, but there was this small detail." "Olivia's daddy owned the newspaper." "And he also owned the editor-in-chief's substantial salary." "Heddie," "Have you been on "Titanic"?" "Are you crazy?" "It sank long time ago." "Geezus..." "I'm talking the movie, right?" "But..." "Romantic." "And he... so... by no means, yup?" "And then, when he was swimming," "Just don't laugh!" "I got totally blue, by no means." "Mascara in my eyes and stuff." "And then, i figured out... that i'll go crazy... coz..." "On my right, that dude, I'm telling you," "was sitting, like that... and staring at me." "Brought his chick, but was looking at me." "Yup." "Seriously, I'm telling you." "And my makeup, total massacre." "Geezus, my nail broke..." "You... and what about Paul?" "Sailed away... with Angela." "Stupid dick." "The paper, like any other paper, had do earn a buck." "But how?" "It operated its own..." ""celebrity scandal task force"." "But neither Agnieszka, nor Czarek were headline grabbers." "Agnieszka, wanna blow me?" "With pleasure." "Show me, what you've got, pooh-bear." "Unfortunately, not much." "That is why not only Czarek loved Agnieszka." "The entire country loved her." "She could make a dead man dance." "She's genius." "Are we running a grocery store or a movie theatre?" "We'll go under if we continue like this." "Josephy..." "Lets chage the air," "Please." "This is the most important take of all our 500 episodes." "There's no time for silliniess on set." "Certainly no time for love." "It's a hard-knock life." "Sometimes you just need a break." "Say, in the sauna, at the gym, in a pool or at the hairdresser's." "Or simply in an armchair, talking about Marynia's butt." "Everything is fine." "Yes, she will." "Of course she will!" "Yeah, yeah, great." "Marynia was quite a girl." "And as an experienced lab assistant, she was practically a goddess." "One gynecologist in particular - who also happened to be Agnieszka's brother - paid very special attention to her" " Jack." "Hi, little brother." "You finished?" "Mhm." "How's it going?" "Jesus, I messed something up..." "Wait." "What does it mean "escape'?" "Hey... that's enough!" "What do you mean..."click it"?" "There." "Maybe it would have all gone differently if the shit hadn't hit the fan and..." "Well... this is the beginning of our story..." "Ahoy, boy!" "This way to Puck?" "Dad!" "Have you ever tried to swallow a cactus?" "That's more or less how I feel." "Johnny, tell Miss Aniela," "I'll give her cash back tomorrow." "I was living in an era of series pulp and stupidity, which I myself was partly responsible for." "The script was my game." "I wrote thousands of them." "You can say I was fertile." "And not because I had 5 kids and yet another on the way." "I was creatively fertile." "My profession... screenwriter." "Cheers!" "And that's why we love you Agnieszka," "Czarek." "Cheers to you, Czarek, Agnieszka." "Cheers to all the cast and crew!" "On behalf of all the crew," "I would like to send my most heartfelt greetings to our boss." "Ass-kisser..." "Thank You." "Stan, I can't direct this!" "I just can't direct this!" "Calm down." "It's a soap opera, not Shakespeare." "Czarek, Czarek!" "What?" "Don't think:" "Act." "Czarek... was our star, but Agnieszka - or rather her character," "Zuza - was the audience favorite." "She was young, and at the top of her game." "Not a penny was spared on her." "And I couldn't beg enough to get a raise." "But here i was, creating her." "I was writing her words and lines." "Of course I'll throw money into it." "Why not?" "It's not like I can't afford it." "What?" "A carpet, a carpet, of course." "No, darling, they'll arrive in a carriage." "A horse-drawn carriage." "Like Elisabeth." "Which Liz?" "Are you even listening to me, darling?" "Elisabeth." "Elisabeth, the Queen of England." "Yes... right." "And when they'll play "Ave", everyone will cry..." "Ok." "Bye-bye, darling." "I'll just go get your test results." "No no, tomorrow, I'm already late..." "Bye!" "Are Agnieszka's test results in?" "Ah..." "Yes" "Here you are, doctor." "We were on a roll, producing further episodes." "Ok... everybody!" "This is very important part!" "Please, let's try not to screw this up." "Camera!" "And..." "let's roll kids!" "No catastrophe in sight." "And then the phone rang." "Hello." "Yes, she's here, but..." "Scene 16, scene 17, but where is 19, where is 21?" "How am I supposed to go on?" "Agnieszka, I think it's something important." "Ms. Henia!" "It's been ringing non-stop for the past half hour." "What!" "You were supposed to stop wearing those red stillettos on set." "You call yourself a director?" "Look at this." "Here, here, and here." "Does it make sense to you?" "Relax." "Czarek, don't think!" "Don't think." "Just don't think!" "But I don't..." "And please, learn your lines." "I'm not thinking," "I just need to know where I'm coming from, and why;" "Who, for instance my parents were..." "Right now, all i know is that in the last episode my father was kissing a little boy a Romanian accordion player" "So I don't know if I'm supposed to be surprised or not." "And in the meantime, I've got some fan blowing up my diaphragm!" "And my voice comes from my diaphragm, not my ass." "Yes, we must salvage this role somehow." "Hey, come back here, asshole!" "Get back here!" "Let's have some tea." "No, Sta" "Agnieszka!" "Where is that starlet?" "Agnieszka," "I need to see you as soon as possible." "Henia, have you seen Agnieszka?" "Where the hell is she?" "Agnieszka, we're ready please come to the set." "Scene 13, 1471" "Stop." "I need a break." "I get back in one hour." "We're shutting down for an hour." "One hour break!" "You think our starlet is done with her shenanigans for today?" "Let's have rehearsal." "Henia, clapperboard." "On second thought, let's shoot this one." "Here we go." ""A" Rolling" ""B" Rolling" "Scene 15, 1467" "Action!" "What are you playing, Agnieszka?" "This is a dramedy." "Agnieszka!" "Long glances, Agnieszka." "I'm sorry, Czarek, I'm sorry." "Agnieszka, what the hell are you doing?" "Third depth?" "Suffering?" "This is a dramedy!" "Agnieszka!" "I need... varitey of glances, saliva management." "Agnieszka!" "I need inner chemistry, and a range of feelings." "Agnieszka." "Joy and optimism." "And what am I getting?" "A fucking solid piece of cement!" "Quiet on set!" "This is a take." "Henia, clapper board." "Move out of my house." "I don't love you anymore." "I never loved you." "Umm, sweetheart, that's not the line..." "I'm sorry." "I'm really sorry..." "Toady, dearest, that's not your line." "Toady!" "Mickey..." "Who's the director here?" "I've had it, understand?" "I don't give a shit." "Read my lips." "I don't give a shit!" "Thanks" "Why do you put yourself through this?" "Coz I've got bills to pay." "Not because I dig this... soap opera shit." "Sorry." "No offence." "Do you have a car?" "That yellow one." "Keys." "We're swapping." "Why did she leave the set?" "I racked my brain for an answer, but I couldn't come up with one." "I'm asking again." "Because I thought..." "Boss..." "And then I really blew it." "Agnieszka is sick of this show." "She wants to do a feature film." "A high-budget one." "With momentum and imagination." "Not this same old..." "You know." "Don't get angry, Boss." "...the same old décor, this tv mush." "She longs for a new kind of cinema, and lots of special effects." "Her own private issues," "Czarek, some sort of Scorupco complex." "You understand, Boss." "Like James Bond, but different." "A woman's psyche is twisted." "Like a spiral." "And on top of it all, a feature film." "You see, Shakespeare." "Not a bad idea," "A feature film." "It's an idea." "And here you were busting my balls about a raise." "Why didn't you come up with this earlier?" "A feature film." "Write a script." "Find a good location." "Go to Plock." "That's my hometown." "Run along now, boys and get to work." "Good-bye Boss." "Have a nice day." "At the time," "I knew nothing about the Chairman's business with Squeezer." "For now," "The idea of writing a feature... terrified me." "What in hell made me do it?" "Two other things I was clueless of:" "Jadzka and Olivia." "Daddy says:" ""Darlings, have you completely lost your minds?" "Why don't you do something with your life?" "Work." "Study." "It's not like he's going to live forever."" "So Daddy says:" ""Why do you think I bought the paper?"" "Pumpkin, become at least an editor-in-chief." "Do it for daddy." "Ok, daddy!" "But not without Jadzka." "I love you." "I'm such an idiot." "A script," "So they want a screenplay?" "Would be nice if there was an advance." "Want a drink, Stas." "Thanks, Derek." "Not today." "I can pull out anytime." "Let them find some other schmo." "Shakespeare..." "Who's going to feed your little flock?" "A feature film." "I must be crazy." "Stay away, Jack." "I don't want to catch a disease." "I have to stay healthy, Jacky." "Hello, artists." "What are we boozing to, today?" "We're drinking to success." "Agnieszka walked off the set today, and in return, we were granted a feature film." "And when he does, he will." "Right, Stas?" "How are your nails?" "Well, I'm not biting, am I?" "And I am going to have my film debut." "A film premiere." "A movie." "Goodbye, bills." "Agnieszka walking off set?" "What are you going to do about it?" "I don't know..." "I don't know yet." "You weren't supposed to be here." "You can... flog... me." "As reward or punishment?" "You've got a minute." "What do you mean, reward' or..." "What's going on?" "What happened, I don't understand." "Oohhh, it's about that Eva?" "Isn't it?" "That's all a big misunderstanding." "I don't know who's feeding you this nonsense." "...but darling, really, I..." "I'm trying my best here and..." "What happened?" "I know... we should move." "It's a little tight here." "We could buy a new place." "That commercial might come through, so..." "Or, no!" "A house!" "We'll buy a house!" "Or a yacht!" "I'll take out a loan." "Mummy will help..." "In any case... we could generally change a car, ...we'll start by buying a new car." "What..." "And what else are we going to buy?" "Are we going to buy health as well?" "You know, you're a nice guy;" "just don't smoke." "And change your cologne." "Because this one was only for me." "Your minute is up." "What the f...?" "Sh...!" "You celebuslut!" "Take a hike, bitch!" "F...!" "Easy tiger..." "It could've been so beautiful." "The final scene has to be in the rain." "Agnieszka is dying." "Tuberculosis." "And the music..." "Verdi..." "Traviata'ish..." "And by her side - father, a bad one;" "the one who kept messing everything up for them, but now wants to apologize." "Remorse." "Sta" "Remorse." "A strong role." "Stas, mother." "A mother, not a father." "Not a father!" "An unwanted mother-in-law." "One Alpha female... vs another Alpha female." "Hormones chasing hormones." "Waterloo on estrogen, Stan." "That is, PMS, Stas." ""Powerful Metaphors Speak", Stan." " Have a drink, Mikey." " Here." "Have a drink." "Fine." "And then?" "And what are you drawing there?" "What's going on with her?" "Walking off set like that?" "She's not picking up." "Darling, let it go." "I've been trying to get through for the past two hours." "Script." "OK" "Tsarina Agnes." "And him... some Prince Charming." "Where are we going to find a real pretty boy?" "Stas!" "A massive open casting call, Stan." "We'll put an ad in the paper." "What is this?" "...paper?" "The height of indolence." "Idiocy!" "Cretinism!" "Scribblery!" "I don't even know what else to call it." "A piano leg would do a better job." "Chill out, Frankie." "Or daddy'll fire you." "Heddie'll improve." "Won't ya, Heddie?" "Well..." "If you try to screw me over again..." "Screw yourself, Kaz." "High blood pressure kills." "Keep healthy, remember." "Heddie!" "Check this out." "On the double." "Film production... open call..." "In Plock?" "They're replacing Aggie's man?" "I've just had a vision." "Balls." "This is gonna be so much fun." "Wes?" "I'm sending you an e-mail." "Daddy would like it as a double-page spread, in the next issue." "Yes" "And make it a big, bold and colorful announcement." "Like, a big photo," "Front page news." "Awesome, ciao!" "Heddie, we're off to Plock." "In search of fresh meat." "Homelessness in this country, is not a matter of fact, but simply a matter of a lack of housing." "He's not here." "What are we going to do?" "Nothing." "Sorry, Stan." "Slight fuckup at the parish, y'know." "Bye." "Good-day." "Shit!" "A pin!" "Are you kidding me?" "He'll totally see us..." "A pin, now!" "Crazy." "He can blow it himself, for all I care." "Offending you... is you miliating to me." "I think you mean, humiliating'" "That's what I said, "you miliating"" "There you go, Wes, cuz I know how much you like to blow." "Father," "I need to confess." "That is, I just really need to talk." "It's important." "Confession is not about talking, my dear child." "But speak, sweetheart." "God listens carefully." "But I don't want Him to listen." "I want you to tell me..." "I'm sorry, I want Father to tell me..." "Speak a little louder, my ears are plugged." "So that you, Father, through God..." "What?" "...I mean, for God to tell me through you, Father..." "You know what, my dear." "Maybe you should start from the very beginning." "Father..." "What?" "Yes?" "What's left for me?" "What do you mean?" "Faith, hope, love." "As penance, say ten, Hail Mary's'" "Hey, you must be cold up there in that chariot?" "Stuffy, stuffy." "I can't smoke those American butts anymore." "Hey..." "Fatso..." "It's that chick from that show." "Yo, Barbie, I'm talking to you." "Wassup, your B-mer stalled?" "How 'bout I wet your shield?" "How's your choke?" "Well, Princess... you do me, and we'll have a deal." "We'll push you from behind!" ""Push it, push it real good..."" "From behind!" "B- mer broke down?" "Dolce vita is over." "Holy fuck!" "Fuuuuuck!" "He's smashed my old man's wheels." "Motherfucker's smashed my old man's wheels!" "What are you staring at?" "Do something!" "Excuse me, gentlemen." "I am very sorry." "It's automatic." "I mixed up the gears." "My police." "I find out about this audition from the newspaper?" "!" "Oh, no." "Get this monster off me." "Are you a goddam agent, or what?" "You have no problem taking a cut, but all this time I'm the one on the front lines, fighting, getting my ass out there." "All you do is sit here and reap the rewards." "This is it!" "I want you to land me a job." "THIS job." "Or you'll be left out in the blowing cold." "Or without any "blowing"" "But I don't know anthing about this production, Jacky." "Nobody knows about it." "It's some sort of major secret." "No, it's a major production!" "Dig it?" "How is it possible that everyone knows about it, except for you?" "At least once try moving that pretty little ass of yours, from behind that desk or we are over." "You... you... you lazy ass you..." "You, you ugly tiger, you." "Toodaloo, you know who if it's not too deep for you." "What?" "Just a little rhyme I came up with." "Bye bitch!" "She, get in." "What is she looking at?" "What?" "May I?" "I'm afraid of frogs and spiders." "This is my tent." "My things, my laundry and my socks should always stand on the right!" "Don't touch anything." "Ever!" "You understand?" "Yes." "Go." "Who you?" "I'm an actress." "But you don't have to believe me." "I'm really a cleaning lady." "You have some name?" "What do you think suits me?" "Bad luck," "Damn Bad Luck." "Good night." "And what is your name?" "Alessandro." "Alessandro, would you love me?" "Don't worry, i didn't mean love... just sex." "Could you..." "Would you like to have sex with me?" "Ok." "This never happend." "Reset." "Back to start." "You started with "Goodnight"..." "Goodnight." "Well," "Open up, sweetie!" "Open up!" "Or the wrath of God will strike, and the dead will hang!" "I'm a lioness," "Do you understand, simpleton?" "The lioness lets her cubs go, to let them fend for themselves." "But I'm a mother-lioness." "Open up, goddam it!" "For chrissakes, it's like Sodom and Gomorrah." "And who's going to clean up?" "Open up, young man, now!" "I didn't drag myself all the way out here to be left high and dry like this!" "But Mr. Chuck..." "Chuck what?" "He doesn't live here anymore." "Which one of you is which?" "Excuse me, please, where is Plock?" "She doesn't drink coffee?" "It's cold." "Take the spade." "Student learn." "What for?" "You wait for car." "Make some money." "Maybe enough for repair." "Where's the toilet?" "Toilet..." "What's wrong, Ginny?" ""OUT OF BUSINESS"" "What do you mean?" "They've closed down our movie theatre?" "Yeah." "Now what?" "I don't know..." "What if they don't come?" "To an open casting call?" "Heddie, are you pre-war, or something?" "Of course they'll come." "What do you mean they don't come when they come?" "This is it." "A magical place." "What?" "I'd like to take a shower." "I left my bag in the car." "In tent on right is toiletries and towel." "You think they're here?" "What do you mean "they"?" "He." "What do YOU mean "He"?" "They." "Stars always have bodyguards." "Riiight." "Hey, what about one of those?" "Bodyguard?" "Yeah." "Remember that one..." "He played in this... y'know..." "He was... a bodyguard." "Of that one... a president." "He was always running after some limo." "And then they killed him, but then he lived, with this one... well... y'know... the red-haired chick..." "That red broad, y'know!" " Clint Eastwood!" " Yup." "Hold your hormones, Heddie." "Guys like that are a dime a dozen." "All wham bam thank you ma'am." "Really?" "Yeah." "See that?" "I'm a catch." "Totally." "But I'd love it to be, totally romantic and classy." "Like in a movie?" "Yeah." "I'm all weak, and they're chasing me." "I'm fighting to stay alive, but running out of strength." "And I'm running!" "I'm running, but I'm not afraid, because I believe!" "So I'm running and I'm bleeding everywhere." "Blood is so running... all over my white dress... and I'm running... and out of nowhere... an alley." "A deserted dead-end alley, with a chain-link fence at the end." "So that I can't get out." "I run up to it, and I..." "throw myself against it." "And I'm standing so!" "And I'm so trapped!" "And suddenly I see... the potholes." "Thousands of potholes, with smoke rising out of them." "There's smoke everywhere." "And then... it's HIM." "I'm standing, but I'm not that scared anymore." "He's on his motorbike." "He's so..." "Scary, menacing with his big chest, and he's doing so, so... and he's riding towards me, and I know I'm gonna live, and they're scared, and... they start running," "and there's a rainbow!" "Heddie?" "How come smoke always rises... out of potholes in American films?" "Cuz the pipes are old, I guess." "This is official!" "We've been looking all over." "She just dissapeared." "And what if she's been abduced?" "Fucking great location." "How about that script, Stan?" "Don't worry about the script." "I'll figure something out." "What we really need is a star." "When we find our star, we'll have our story." "Yeeeah." "Jesus!" "What?" "It's him!" "Him who?" "I don't know if it's really him, but it totally looks like him, with that, fro and those thick glasses." "He was in that that film..." "What did he play?" "I don't remember." "You need a hit of gingko biloba." "What did he play?" "London, I think." "You're dumber than a doorknob, Heddie." "What did he play?" "I don't really remember, he was eating kielbasa!" "In London?" "Tim wanted something with him in London, but I don't think it was him at all." "But, dude, is he someone important?" "Yup." "There's one more thing I wanted to tell you:" "I think you went a little overboard in the tanning bed this time." "And...?" "We're fucked, boys." "Totally." "I can't believe this friggin' city." "Everything is open here." "There's no chance we'll get to hold the casting session at either the theater or the philharmonic." "Basically, we have no place to hold it." "Who ordered dessert?" "Hello." "Hi." "This is the director, this is the screenwriter, this gentleman is deaf, and it's good to have this one as a friend." "Well, Have a seat." "Heddie!" "Are you kidding me?" "Where the fuck did you find these two?" "Calm down, woman." "Let me explain." "Gentlemen, let me introduce our potential stars." "Volunteers." "Office staff, get it?" "They love the movies." "This is Olivia," "I made a nice buck working for her daddy once." "And this is..." "Heddie, a gifted one, lots of potential." "Really." "Hey, Mophead, say something." "Cuz I think you blubber just like me." "Blubber?" "Blubber?" "What do you mean, blubber'?" "Jesus!" "Professor!" "What are you doing?" "Leave!" "Go!" "I give you 100 Euro, 200." "Just go!" "You are capable even to break shovel." "Hey, kids, and how about a ship?" "We've already got a river." "What ship?" "What the fuck is she talking about?" "She's talking about a ship." "Like a really big one." "What are we going to do with a ship?" "What ship, honey?" "Heddie'll explain." "I gotta go to the loo." "By the way, what's happening with Aggie?" "Dissapeared." "We can't find her." "You're hot, maybe you should play something in our film." "I had an animator tell me the same thing once." "And that was the end of my career." "But, sure." "I can play something." "And Who?" "C'mon, daddy, pick up." "Why aren't you picking up?" "This is your Railway General speaking." "Dad?" "Dad." "Daddy," "This is so cool..." "What do you mean..." "It's Olivia - your daughter." "Listen, I'm calling you from Plock." "It's totally awesome!" "Mophead is here, so is Heddie..." "Mophead." "He's a director." "No, he's old." "But he's got a crew." "I mean, they're all old, but Derek's here." "Remember, the guy who designed our kitchen?" "OK, listen Daddy, I need ship." "Yes, a ship." "Nooo, I'm thinking little Aurora..." "Why doesn't it have an engine?" "It's in construction?" "Does it have a deck?" "No, are you kidding me?" "Not to sail." "For a casting call." "Yeah." "Daddy," "Don't you love me anymore?" "If I switch to video, you'll see how much I'm crying!" "Well I don't know, think of something then!" "Oh, God!" "Oh geez!" "No, no, no." "I'm gonna lose it." "Crazy." "Just don't tell me it's true." "Chuck!" "What?" "Snot!" "What's wrong, mummy?" "What's wrong?" "Why the hell are you here?" "This is not how I raised you?" "A single mom, sacrificing my whole life, and now this!" "But, mummy, I'm on hiatus." "You said yourself, that I should keep close to my roots, and spend every free moment with you, here in Tluszcz." "Read this!" "Read it!" "Loosing such a girl." "God, Oh, God!" "How am I supposed to show myself in church?" "What will the neighbors think?" "What am I supposed to tell them?" "It's just some casting call!" "Mum, I've got everything..." "Sonny boy!" "Be quiet when you speak to me." "Be quiet and don't make me blow my top." "I knew it." "I felt it." "They're looking for a love interest for her." " No!" " God, oh God," "Why are you forsaking me?" "Why are you leaving me?" "All those phone calls after each episode." "I spoke with Father Director." "The wedding..." "Pack your bags!" "You're messing with the wrong guy, missy!" "She has no idea!" "But she'll learn!" "Oh, yes, she'll learn!" "She doesn't know who is she up against," "Just you wait, you slut..." "Messing with my boy..." "Excuse me, sir!" "Is this the right way to Plock?" "Plock?" "Yes." "And who are you?" "Football players?" "No, actors." "We're here for the casting call." "All three buses?" "Yes." "The Ukraine is big, lots of actors." "Right." "Too bad I can't go with you, but I'm not an actor." "Ok, listen, keep going straight, then right, through Bydgoszcz, Gdansk and to Puck by the sea." "It's not complicated." "What do you mean by the sea?" "We were told..." "It's all good." "I know what I'm talking about." "The casting and the maestro." "But it's in Puck, not Plock." "Ok, thanks a lot." "So we go straight and take a right:" "Bydgoszcz, Gdansk, Puck." "Yes, Puck." "Let's go." "Naughty boy, it's not nice to lie." "Hey, Mister soldier," "Are you also heading to the casting call?" "It was a tough night." "But I finally found out who Squeezer was." "And how to cash in on Chinese communist-capital." "I also found out that besides the bulrush-swamp submarine, with personal skipper Joey," "Olivia's Daddy liked to fly." "He liked to discreetly watch his daughter in action." "I finally had an idea for the film." "All I needed now was Aggie." "Excuse me." "People!" "People!" "Wake up!" "People!" "What's the date today?" " What?" " What's the date today?" "Friday!" "Casting!" "See," "I told you they'd come." "That you did." "Head high, chest out." "And remember, damnit, you're not a nobody." "You haven't been found in a cabbage." "You've got a name." "You know foreign languages." "Aggie knows all this." "But you remind her." "Hey Mister, casting, which way?" "There." "Listen, if she does this with her hands, that means she's touched." "That's when you make your move." "Then you get to her, understand, just closer, and closer, understand;" "so that she can... smell you, understand." "So that she can what?" "Don't interrupt your mother." "Listen..." "It's fine, thanks." "It's fine." "Don't panic, it's just logistics." "We'll figure something out." "I know Feri, who knows Matty... who'll get the equipment to us in two hours." "But who's going to pay for it all?" "The Sponsor." "The ship is here." "Derek - if he ever makes it back from the toilet - will take the bow." "Greg, you take the stern." "Feri's the director, when he arrives, he'll be here." "And Jack will be here." "We'll set Aggie up with a monitor and a live feed." "You have to find her first." "Don't worry, Greg." "We'll find her." "Heddie will be on script." "Script?" "What script?" "I'll take..." "No." "I'll be production coordinator." "Clear?" "Hey, I think he just insulted me." "He didn't insult you, he promoted you." "And Olivia will be the producer, of course." "Me?" "Seriously?" "Jesus, Heddie, did you hear?" "I'm going to be a producer." "Stan, what does a producer do?" "He prays." "But I can't do anything." "And thus you fit perfectly." "What do you mean you don't when you do?" "You know how to do everything." "Ok, troops, let's rock and roll, and start hunting." "What." "Rabbits!" "Not what, but who, Greg." "The male lead." "And perhaps a little something extra along the way." "Let's get to work." "No equipment, no script, no Agnieszka," "We're doing everything in reverse." "We must have security." "Mophead was wrong." "I did have an idea." "The rest was easy as pie, dividing it into parts." "I liked Aggie," "I thought I knew how to help her." "Heddie and Olivia were my muses." "Greg!" "It's Me!" "Henrietta!" "Here!" "Hey, Man!" "Is this the cue for the casting call?" "Yeah." "And is it true about the maestro?" "Yeah." "Do you know what else is going on?" "Who's with who, and so on?" "Did they say anything?" "Why aren't you saying anything?" "Don't you know what's going on?" "Nope." "Then why the fuck are you here?" "You really asking for it, eh?" "No, no, no..." "Yes, maybe, yes, yes," "Yes, no, yes, no..." "Definately Not!" "Obviously you read our ad, and know who we're looking for," "so why are you here?" "It's been a long time since I last stood in line for something." "I just wanted to remember, to recall good, old times." "Thank you, gentlemen." "Thank you very much." "Ring around the rosy, A pocketful of posies," "A husband:" "The blood, the body, the eyes, the whole package." "A real man - age 35." "Get it?" "I've got a big package." "Wanna see?" "No no no, Thank You!" "Next, please." "I need a job, jerk!" "Do you understand, I need a job!" "And I need a husband, you prick!" "Thank you." "This was a mistake... a mistake." "I'm an actor," "I need a job!" "...and you think you're a leading man?" "You don't think so?" "Not really." "Maybe it's the hair." "Is this better?" "Which actress would you like to play with in this film?" "Well..." "Julia Roberts for sure." "I'll take some gum." "Chewing gum." "And a bottle of vodka." "Or better yet," "Whisky!" "Whisky." "A bigger one..." "Yes... and two packs of Marlboro." "She's looking for a manly man." "You must..." "That's what you need to be," "I know, I know it, a real man, that..." "Marlboro man." "Marlboro man." "A real phenomenon, such a, cowboy, you understand..." "Unshaved, stinking of booze and butts." "She just needs a change." "Listen, Did you see that commercial?" "Mummy, I just have one question." "When are you going to grow up?" "There are plenty of fish in the sea." "Why are you so stuck on Aggie?" "Besides, I don't drink or smoke." "Well, you're gonna start." " But..." " Quiet!" "No "buts"!" "This is for the greater good." "And listen to me!" "Look at me." "Just look and listen." "You are walking!" "Slowly." "Understand?" "Slowly." "You are a man - a man!" "Hands in your pockets." "See...!" "Oh, and a match in your mouth." " What?" " A match in your mouth." "Oh God, Mom!" "I'm 31 years old!" "You're right." "It's a little bit much." "No match." "The gum will be fine." "Ok." "Back to the hotel to practice." "Listen, I'going to, come, come," "We're going to change your look." "A complete over-make." "You mean makeover." "I know what I mean, sonny." "Oh sure." "Don't get fresh with me, honey." "Just like the time you publicly proclaimed, that I made a "foyer"!" "...ln public!" "But I said it in the right context!" "Don't make me angry." "You know my context was..." "You call that a walk?" "Hands in your..." "Straight." "That's right... good." "Heddie, What are you doing?" "Practicing my sneer." "What?" "Well, I'm judging a bunch of flunkees, aren't I?" "You know, I'm on holiday right now, but I can't stop thinking about Aggie." "Who is she supposed to play?" "What d'you mean?" "Stan said she's playing the wife..." "Get a load of this one." "What a mess." "Yup." "And that one." "He's cute, isn't he?" "Totally my type." "Ahhh, Brad Pritt!" "Gorgeous!" "And this one... a bit of a loser..." "He'd suit you, though..." "Sorry." "Thank you." "We had our own lineup, we, actors, you know." "And this guy just came up to me... and he looked at me... and asked about a Cadillac in English..." "And I didn't realize then..." ""Follow me" he said... so I went..." "I thought he was with the Maestro," "And, you know, and then he pulled me into the bushes..." "It's ok, Voytek." "I got you in for a private meeting." "I spoke to the Maestro." "He's in Plock." "He believes in you, but here's the catch:" "What?" "Horseback riding." "What?" "And fencing, yeah." "What?" "I negotiated really hard, I fought for you." "You have to go." "Oh my God, when?" "Bring me that silk tracksuit." "And shave my legs." "You tiger, you!" "Here's the problem, sunshine." "What problem?" "You're in a body cast." "Mr. Christopher, are you German or Polish?" "My dear, first of all, I am an Artist." "A citizen of Art." "Europe is united." "Did you sleep through all that?" "Ok." "We're looking for a husband, and you are..." "You are not my type." "Although, hmmm," "I could definitely be a husband." "Did you hear the one about the camel?" "No, I can't work like this!" "This guy's constantly distracting me." "I've had it up to here with this audition!" "You not cleaning lady..." "I don't know who you are..." "Listen." "I have a flat and automobile a little better than yours." "Tell something of yourself." "Could you?" "I don't exist." "Stanley," "I've been looking for you everywhere." "I need some advice." "Do I look like a real producer?" "You look like the realest producer." "What are you doing?" "Smoking." "In secret." "You remind me of daddy." "The way I look?" "No, the way you smoke." "He also smokes a lot in secret." "Do you have kids?" "Five... and my wife's about to give birth again." "I'm waiting for the phone call." "Daddy didn't bring me up very well." "Why do you say that?" "He loves me the wrong way." "He loves you a lot." "I can have everything." "I can buy everything." "Even friendship, you know." "But love..." "Take it easy, sunshine." "It's going to be alright." "Just watch and learn." "Learn to observe." "I'm doing that aleady!" "Am I cross-eyed or something?" "!" "I've been staring and staring!" "Exactly." "Exactly, what?" "Stop staring." "Learn to see." "Everything will turn out for the best." "Just like in the movies?" "Just like in the movies." "I promise." "Everything's so cool." "What?" "Everything." "The auditions..." "Chuck..." "looking for the right man." "With your dough, everyone will take you." "Heddie!" "You know I don't care about the money..." "I just want to... fall in LOVE." "Let's switch places then..." "You know, where's dough... there's respect." "Dig it?" "Money isn't everything." "I want to do something." "Me too." "And I know exactly what." "What?" "I wanna go back to school." "Heddie..." "You feeling ok?" "The idea of studying just turns me on." "Girl!" "What do you wanna study?" "!" "I don't know yet." "Maybe... ship design..." "Yup." "And then, you know, some rich ship owner..." "I can always also be an actress." "An actress?" "Yup." "Where's my cosmetics case?" "Probably in Gdansk." "Where?" "In Gdansk." "Beautiful city." "Olivia!" "Casting!" "Olivia, it's 6:30!" "What are you doing, anyway?" "Nothing..." "Reading..." "Yeah, but the auditions..." "Did you add it all up?" "1.5 million... and that's just for" "No problem." "We'll just remove the final credits." "Or maybe the opening credits!" "No way, there has to be a trailer." "Of course there's going to be a thriller." "We'll definitely end up with a thriller, if there's only enough cash for a trailer." "Don't worry, Heddie." "We've already secured a million." "Right?" "What about the rest?" "Well... the rest," "Daddy'll give us the rest, so don't worry about it." "You're doing a good job." "Keep counting." "Well, it's not really me, it's the computer." "It doesn't matter who does what." "What's important is that you understand each other." "You, you, you... you're not..." "Excuse me." "Sorry if I'm being a little tactless here, but I would like to ask, are you that producer lady?" "Olivia Productions." "Yes." "How may I help you?" "Help me, darling?" "You can help me by not making me stand here anymore." "Understand?" "Stand, here!" "This is Chuck, her ex, a fiancZ... you know." "Dear lady," "Everybody here is like her fiance." "Hi, babe..." "Mom. ...babe." "I am sorry." "I thought... you were... taller." "He is." "And you, if you would like to help..." "Like, maybe figure out, a couple more fences?" "Cuz these ones... aren't gonna last." "And I wouldn't want it, to get lethal out here." "Get a load of her!" "A producer, see!" "You made this bed, so you lay in it yourself now..." "Lethal..." "Aggie..." "Sonny..." "Sonny!" "Why didn't you say anything to me?" "You never talked to me." "Lethal what?" "What's going on, sweetheart?" "Perhaps he, perhaps her," "Maybe Aggie's a bit of witch, huh?" "Sonny, what lethal outcomes?" "I am your own mother," "The only one, the one of her kind, right?" "Well, sonny!" "And you are always so silent towards me, see!" "Because you talk enough for the both of us." "And so we balance each other out." "Yes!" "Intelligence has to accumulate somewhere, no?" "I can't take this anymore." "Then let it go!" "Hey!" "Watch it!" "Next." "Go on." "Chuck?" "You're short on razor blades?" "You know..." "New look, new man." "Where's Aggie?" "I'm the one you should be talking to." "You?" "What am I supposed to talk to you about?" "The scenery?" "I mean... whatever." "Aggie!" "Ohmigod!" "You'll never believe this!" "Your Boss wants a feature," "Olivia's father will probably pay for it." "Stan's on a roll, there's a huge casting call going on everything's on fire." "They're even suggesting I direct." "Get it?" "Jack..." "But most importantly, you're ok." "Even Interpol is looking for you." "We can't go back this way." "The guys will be so happy." "This rubber dinghy is the answer." "Jack..." "Jack!" "How did you sleep?" "Frogs so loud!" "I slept well." "You know..." "Alexander... you only have to remember me for a couple more weeks." "But it'll heal." "My name's Aggie, but that's not important." "You know what?" "I learned how to dig!" "And here... my prince..." "I mean, my Chuck," "'T means not mine, but this hero, ...will stand." "Or maybe not... no, no, no..." "He'll run... or better yet... fly!" "What's he gonna fly?" "Something expensive?" "Or not." "Here, the best would be" "He'll be pulled in by dogs - greyhounds." "If we go with greyhounds, there won't be enough money for tapestries." "Tapestries shmapestries... or candelabras." "But we can't afford it all!" "How do you know how the film ends?" "Not the film, Jack." "My life." "I'm dying." "No!" "It's not possible!" "You can't die." "You have to live!" "I fucked up the budget." "By how much?" "It still comes out to 2 million... but in the wrong currency, not zloty, but dollars." "Wait a minute, wait a minute..." "Tell me exactly, what that old fart told you." "It's ringing." "Sir?" "Olivia Productions here..." "I mean... just Olivia." "You've got a problem, cuz we don't have any money." "Good-bye." "See what you've done?" "Squeezowski, hello?" "Well, but what two million?" "Two million of what?" "Euro or zloty?" "Alright." "Mister." "I'll give you six million, but on condition, that Olivia and Heddie will star in it." "What was that?" "I don't know." "The fucking Road Runner?" "This is a fucking 50 zone!" "Hey look!" "Hey, man!" "Let's go!" "C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!" "Oh thank God." "It's beautiful to be alive." "You're gonna make it." "Come on." "C'mon!" "C'mon..." "He'll make it." "Go!" "Go!" "You're almost there..." "Hey!" "Stop!" "Come back here!" "Fall!" "You'll catch up to him!" "Just go!" "You'll get him!" "Well!" "Agnieszka at last!" "Agnieszka, our star!" "We were worried about you." "Heddie called," "We've got your man." "He's gorgeous!" "Handsome!" "You'll fall in love with him." "You're meeting him tomorrow." "What are you plotting over here?" "Stan's a father again." "Triplets." "All girls." "Five plus three... eight." "I need a drink." "Me, too, Michael." "Yes!" "Not beer." "Vodka." "Yes!" "How are you feeling?" "I've been meaning to talk to you." "I wanted to tell you..." "You also had chemotherapy..." ""Also"?" "What do mean "also"?" "Why don't you just get drunk as a skunk, sweetheart." "Michael, fuck off." "A word." "Aggie," "We're relying on you." "I'm in debt," "Greg's pension is too low," "Stan's got eight brats now..." "Don't mess with us, ok?" "Be somewhat predictable." "I'm fucking off now." "What are you talking about?" "Since when?" "Since recently." "How do you go on?" "I don't know." "Maybe you should fall in love." "I don't want to hurt anybody." "It's from Ararat." "Take, please." "I came to say goodbye." "Bye." "Alessandro!" "Now I understand." "Back to the film." "You're amazing." "Incredible." "You deserve to be rewarded." "Pull down your panties." "Unfortunately, for mixing up patients' names and for a lack of even the most basic knowledge... you deserve to be punished." "They're coming!" "Yup!" "They're coming!" "Yes!" "Good evening," "I'm Christopher." "Wait." "Don't speak." "You're Aggie..." "Zuza..." "Aga." "I've seen every episode." "This is Olivia, Henrietta," "Michael, Greg," "Stan." "Heddie you've already met." "Stan promised to write a screenply." "Right, Stan?" "I already know the ending, but not the beginning." "Maybe you could tell me, please." "First of all, let's settle one thing, because I don't know anything about a screenplay." "And I hate bananas." "I play basketball every Friday." "We live at my place." "You cook, I don't know how." "We always vacation abroad." "A contract is a contract." "We need to have it all in writing." "Well?" "When's the wedding?" "The wedding." "The wedding." "See what you've done?" "Now we'll have to make an "off' movie!" "The wedding?" "The wedding..." "Oh God!" "A wedding..." "Stas." "Help!" "Help!" "Squeeze her nose and start mouth-to-mouth." "You blow..." "I didn't brush my teeth today." "Move over, man!" "You blow and I'll squeeze, then flip and let her puke." "That's the seventh camera this week." "Why did you save me, Father?" "Dang!" "Stan, Stan, Stan, Stan!" "Did you see the plates?" "I didn't even see the color!" "Aggie!" "Stan!" "It can't end like this!" "There has to be a happy ending." "Like in Bollywood!" "Aggie!" "It's not true!" "Do you understand?" "It's all a big mistake." "You're not sick." "And I think you went a little too far, with the whole spinach thing." "Do you like spinach?" "Yes." "...ding." "What "ding"?" "There will be a wedding." "Oh, a wedding." "Awesome!" "A big wedding!" "How's that boat moving?" "Where's it going?" "I don't see any engines." "There is no smoke." "Beyond the horizon." "It has... some sort of energy of its own." "Yes." "It has energy." "The life and death situation helped me to see the light." "The Chairman and Squeezowski threw in a lot of cash." "And even with eight kids," "I knew we were going to be ok." "Do you know what's important in life?" "Faith, Hope, Love..." "Happiness, Father." "Happiness." "Squeezer." "The Boss." "Olivia." "I even like them kinda'" "Being script is soo cool." "And the producer too." "I have a Man." "Me too." "Pheno-Man." "Listen!" "We're drifting!" "Yep, broke and drifting." "Excuse Me!" "Where is Plock?" "Here!" "And the casting?" "Over!" "The money shot!" "But..." "But I'm out of cameras." "I will make them cry, sweetheart." "One, two" " One, two..." "You have to be tough, you know?" "One, two." "Unrelenting." "One." "That's right, sweetheart." "Keep rowing!" "What." "A frog!" "Maestro!" "We've been looking for you for the past two weeks." "What are you doing in Plock?" "Getting inspired."