"It's Agritech and the bank versus the farmers." "We're on the wrong side of this battle." "We've lost our agricultural assets." "We're going broke." " Get off my land!" " Let's not offend him." "You watch your backs around here if you've got business with Agritech." "We're private investigators." "We also happen to be major investors in Progressive Farms." " Bloodsucker!" " Dive!" "What about us poor bankers?" "Every bank in this area is on the verge of disaster, thanks to those poor farmers." "How often we forget... here in Los Angeles, just how close we are to the ocean." "The pounding surf, sunlight on the water." "And all just beyond the horizon, yet we never get a chance to see it." "There are binoculars in my drawer." "Someplace to entertain clients- that's what we need." "Someplace to relax, an open setting... sea breezes perhaps." "But where?" "A boat." "Of course." "Yes, yes, a boat." "Sailing on a tranquil sea." "Days from civilization." "You arise, go topside in the salt fresh air... and settle down to read your newspaper in the morning sunshine-Ah!" " How do you get it?" " Get what?" "If you're days from civilization, how do you get a newspaper?" "Well, you can read a book, can't you?" "Hmm?" "What are you babbling about?" "Am I interrupting something?" " It's hard to tell." " I could come back later." "Wait." "Mildred, is it important?" "New clients." " What kind of case?" " Multiple kidnapping." "By all means, Mildred, send them in." "There you go, move over." "Come on." "Come on." "This is Karen Stiers." "She's an attorney." "And Dr. Carlos Perez, a very fine oral surgeon." "Remington Steele." "My associate, Laura Holt." "How do you do?" "Are you relatives of the victims?" "Very funny, Miss Holt." "No offense intended, I'm sure." "Um, tell us about the victims." "What's there to tell?" "They're pigs." "Pardon me, but if this is your attitude about these people, then" "No." "They really are pigs." "Didn't Miss Krebs fill you in?" " Um" " Apparently not." "Dr. Perez and I are part of an investment syndicate... sheltering income in Progressive Farms... an experimental pig breeder in Grainville, Iowa." "But two days ago, the pigs were stolen." " The entire lot, worth two million dollars." " That's a lot of pork." "It's not the quantity, Mr. Steele." "It's the quality." "The R  D that's gone into the quest for the perfect sow." "Well, well, I'm sure this must be quite a blow for you two... but this isn't the kind of case our agency normally handles." "If I might offer some impolitic advice." "Avoid colorful tax dodges." "They attract an awful lot of suckers." "Yes, one more than you think apparently." "That sounds suspiciously like a pointed reference." "Well, you told me to diversify our portfolio." "Wait." "You're not telling me that these are our pigs?" "Oh, they were such a great buy six months ago." "I dipped into the discretionary fund." "How big a dip?" "$55,000." " What?" " $55,000." "Mildred, that's a bath!" "We expect you, as the only private investigators in our group... to clear this thing up." "If there was something wrong with the pigs' teeth, I would go myself, gladly." "What about the Iowa police?" " Nada." " If these animals aren't recovered in the next 48 hours... the scientific basis of their breeding will be destroyed." "To be painfully clear, we have no liquidity... only swine in an undisclosed location, hmm, hmm?" "So a check written on the discretionary account right now... would be, um, inappropriate." "It would bounce to Mars, if that's what you mean." "Suppose we were to rescue these animals?" "How quickly could we sell them?" "I would be delighted to buy your share, once they're secured." "Then by all means, let's secure them." " Mr. Steele, I" " Excellent." "We'll expect a full report when you return." "Good, good, good, good." "Soon we shall all be living high off the hog again." " Mr. Steele, I" " Good day, sir." "Good day, madame." " Miss Holt, can this agency withstand a $55,000 write-off?" " No." "No." "Then I suggest we start packing and save the bloodshed till later." " Right." " Right." " Pigs?" " Uh-huh, pigs." "Oh." "Pigs, pigs." "Oh." "Hello, Marty?" "Ah, Steele here." "Ah, good, good." "Uh, about the boat" "Have you put that check through yet?" "Oh, good, good, good." "No, no." "No, nothing." "Just-Just transferring some funds." "That's all." "Give me a day and everything will be smooth sailing." "I promise you." "Yeah." "Ciao." "Bye." "Chin up, Laura." "This is what's called bringing home the bacon." "Mr. Steele, hay fever is punishment enough right now." "I can't deal with your bad puns as well." "Why did we have to rent a pickup?" "Well, to blend in, Mildred." "You know, get into the spirit of things." "Anyway, it's very chic to be a farm woman." "Look atJessica Lange, Sally Field, Sissy Spacek." "These days, you gotta be able to milk a cow to get an Academy Award nomination." "I don't want an Academy Award." "I don't want to milk a cow." "Oh, come now, Laura." "It's not that bad." "I mean, we're among farmers." "Salt of the earth." "Proud." "Independent." "Cheerful." "Willard, we're putting up one cross for every farm you've foreclosed on!" "Yeah!" "Come on down!" "You can try, but you can't drive us out!" " Yeah!" " Save our farms.!" "Save our farms.!" "Save our farms.!" " This is our land!" " How are we supposed to feed our kids?" "Bloodsucker!" "Proud?" "Independent?" "Cheerful?" "Not to worry, Miss Holt." "Based upon extensive viewing, it's an obligatory component of rural life." "The bankers may oppress, but the people will prevail." "Save our farms.!" "I know." "I should leave the window open- let them know I'm at least listening to them, demonstrate I'm sensitive to their needs." "I'm not gonna tell you how to run your bank, Mr. Willard." "Hell's bells, Jessica!" "You've been telling me how to run this bank for two years!" "I just think it's politically insensitive to refuse loans right now." "Refuse?" "I haven't refused loans to one of those people out there." "That's the problem." "They all owe us!" "I can't keep approving all these extensions you bring in." "If you could just refinance a few of them." "I'm tired of it, Jessica." "Your big heart would sink this institution." "Then where would any of us be?" "The small farmer is the backbone of America." "Spare me the violins." "The small farmer is a dinosaur, and I'm not responsible for his extinction." "Hell, I'm doing these people a favor by stopping them... from getting in even further over their heads." "Go home, all of you!" "The only way you'll save your farms is by harvesting your crops!" "Mr. Willard, one day you're gonna stick your head out that window... and you're not gonna have anything left to pull back in." "Oh, my good man." "We're looking for directions to Progressive Farms." "Salt of the earth, huh?" " Howdy." " Uh-huh." "I'm Sheriff Clifford." "Now Progressive Farms has been closed down." " There was a theft." " We know." "We'd like to speak with the owners." "Well, that would be Agritech." "You still interested?" "Um, why shouldn't we be?" "No reason, I suppose." "Take Main Street here for two miles." "Take a left and make your first right." "You can't miss it." " Howdy." " Howdy." " You with them?" " Yep." "What I'm about to say is for your own good." "You watch your backs around here if you got business with Agritech." "Mr. Hayes, these are two investors from Los Angeles" "Remington Steele and Laura Holt." "Laura Holt." "Remember me?" "Preston Hayes." " Oh." " Stanford." "Kappa Sig?" "You wouldn't go out with me?" "Oh, yes." "You were the senior who tried to kiss me in the quad one night." "It's a Stanford tradition." " Rah." " So, um... what keeps you here in Iowa?" "Well, Agritech recruited me right out of B-School." "So how ya doin'?" " Well" " Mr. Hayes... as much as I hate to interrupt this touching reunion, we're private investigators." "We also happen to be major investors in Progressive Farms." "We're here to help locate our swine." "Oh, great!" "I don't think our pigs top our sheriff's list of priorities." "Agritech isn't exactly popular in this county." "We noticed." "How come?" "The bank's been foreclosing on a lot of small farms around here... and we've been buying them up." "So the farmers sort of blame Agritech too." "We got the impression it was a little bit more than that." "Yeah, well, they'd like to think so." "Every time there's an accident of nature, the farmers point the finger at us." " Accident of nature?" " Yeah, well." "There've been a couple of fires, some floods- nature." "Look, we don't have to drive the farmers under." "Simple economics is taking care of that." "It's sad." "I feel for 'em." "But agribusiness is the future of farming." "Absolutely." "About the swine" "We figured some disgruntled farmer probably stole them as revenge against us." "They're still around." "That we know." "The only thing the sheriff could do right after the theft was to set up roadblocks." "So we're confident the pigs are still somewhere in the county." " And the clock is running down." " Yeah." "In 24 hours, you can kiss those porkers good-bye." "Maybe you can afford to, Preston, but we can't." "We need to start at the scene of the crime." "It's locked up." "But I'll give you a key." "Here we go." "Are you busy for dinner tonight, Laura?" "Swine before pearls, Preston." "Yeah." "Rah." "Gesundheit." "Am I really investigating an experimental pig-breeding farm?" "Courage, Laura." "Think of those swine as rotund stacks of hundred-dollar bills." "Does wonders for the spirit." "The thief drove the pigs out through the back... then loaded them into a trailer about a quarter of a mile past the fence." " Tracks like you wouldn't believe." " Good work, Mildred." "I'm gonna take a look inside again." "No pig is gonna get the better of Krebs." "Mush on, Mildred." "Mush on." "The thief broke in there." "But according to Preston's description... the guard would have seen him before he got to the building." "Hmm." "Unless he didn't go right to the building." " Look at this." " Ah." "Perhaps our culprit had a little chew before continuing." "Hey!" "Open up!" "Open up!" "There's someone in here!" "Hey!" "Open up!" "Now what?" "Witness." "Harrison Ford, Kelly McGillis." "Paramount, 1985." "Ford disables a renegade policeman in a silo... by pummeling him with grain!" "How did the policeman in Witness survive?" " He didn't survive!" " What?" " He was killed!" " You're a great help!" "I guess they were low on feed." "Gesundheit." " Can't say I didn't warn you." " Uh-huh." " Are we supposed to be grateful?" " Young lady... if I'd a-known you were detectives, I'd never let you get this far." "Now what makes you think you can walk into this county... and stick your noses wherever you want?" " Dwight has a point." " Thank you, Millie." "We just want to recover the swine, Sheriff." "Something you seem unable or perhaps unwilling to do." "I am one man." "I got two part-time deputies, and I'm sittin' on a powder keg." "I walk softly when I can, Mr. Steele." "Now, the way I see it... a few stolen pigs aren't gonna ruin Agritech." "But they could ruin us, Dwight." "We have all our money in that livestock." "We just wanna take the next day or two to find them." "Will you let us do that?" "Hmm?" "Will you help?" "Shoot." "I never could turn a pretty woman down." "All right, but you're gonna play by my rules." " Excuse me." " God bless." "Let's get you into some clean duds." "There's no motel in town, but Buck and Mary Shepherd might take you in." "Lord knows we sure could use the money... but we don't deal with Agritech." "We're not with Agritech." "We're from the Undermayer Agricultural Institute... researching the plight of the small American farmer." "Yes." "We wanted to start with Agritech to get a sense of scale, you know." "Well, that's a different story." "I'm Mary Shepherd." " Hi." " This here's Buck." " We'd be glad to put you up." " Well, I'm Dr. Lauralu Holt." "And this is Millie Krebs." "And this is Mr., uh, Jed Steele." "He's a colleague of ours from Sydney, Australia." " You're a bit dusty there, Jed." " Ah, yes, but we  we have to immerse ourselves in our subject, you know." "Well, grab your stuff and come on in." "Ah, Dwight lent them to me." " I don't like lying to these people." " No." "It's Agritech and the bank versus the small farmers." " We're on the wrong side of this battle." " On the contrary." "We've lost our agricultural assets." "We're going broke." "We're in precisely the same boat as the farmers." "And, uh, speaking of boats" "I don't think it's the same thing at all." "These farmers are losing their livelihoods." "If we lose our investment, we just cut out a few luxuries." "Lunches at Café Lautrec, Italian suits... penthouse condominiums." "Luxuries?" "You're talking about food, clothing and shelter." "Do you understand?" "Mary said there's an auction in town this afternoon." "It'll give us a chance to see who uses this kind of tobacco." "Let's hope we haven't bitten off more than we can chew." "Hello, Marty?" "Yes, Steele here." "Hi." "How are you?" "Very well." "Good." "Listen, mate, could you hold that check a little longer?" "I had to go out of town, clear up a little financial snag." "Uh-What?" "Oh, it'll only be a few hours." "Yes." "Where am I?" "Uh, I'm in Zurich." "Hello, my good friend." "Listen, I seemed to have misplaced my tobacco." "Could you spare a plug?" "Oh, oh, thank you, really." "Thank you." "It's great." "Mmm." "Delicious." "Piquant, yet, uh, assertive." "Great." "Good afternoon." "I'm conducting a survey... for the Tobacco Mastication Institute." " What brand do you chew?" " Say, you're a sturdy little thing, aren't you?" " You new around here, darlin'?" " What brand, please?" " Big Boy." " Big Boy." "Just remember now, I saw you first." " Spare a little chew there, neighbor?" " Oh, sure." " Oh, good." " Yeah, go ahead." "I got plenty." "Oh, thank you." "Thank you." "Mmm." "Mm-mm-mmm." "Mmm!" "That is chewing, isn't it?" "Mmm." "But I wish I had a little Amsterdam brand, you know?" "Amsterdam?" "You're kidding!" "That stuff is disgusting!" "You mean relative to this?" "The only one that chews that stuff is old Mel." " Old who?" " Mel Brundage." "Fellow right up there." "This is his auction." "Poor guy." "Really?" "Well, thank you very much." "Good day now." " Oh, sure." "Anytime." " Thank you." "Great." "Anytime." "Well, Lauralu." "Lauralu, how are you?" "Stay there, will you?" "I think I found our thief." "Mel Brundage- perfect candidate." "Embittered by the loss of his farm, he steals our pigs, the swine." "I feel sorry for the man." " Oh, yeah?" "Mmm." " All right, folks." "Now we're here to auction off the farm equipment... and household goods of one Melvin Brundage." "You've all had a chance to look his stuff over." "It's in good shape." "Maybe a little smoke damaged, but all in good workin' order." "It would be perfect if it wasn't for you and Agritech, Willard!" "You set that fire.!" "You oughta be burned at the stake yourself!" "Now, Mel, sit down and shut up." "This isn't the time and the place." "We got a job to do." "Let's get on with it." " This isn't right." " Oh?" "Oh, don't worry, Laura." "This is the scene where the rural community hang together... and refuse to bid, closing down the auction." "First item's gonna be the tiller attachment." "I start the bidding' out at $80." "Do I hear 80?" "Who'll give me $80?" "Eighty!" " I got 80." "Who'll give me 85?" " Eighty-five." "Eighty-five." "Who'll go 90?" "Ninety." "Who'll go 90?" " Ninety!" " Ninety." "Who'll go- - 105." "I got 105." "Who'll go 110?" "110?" "110?" "I got 110." "Who'll go 120?" " 120." " Swine, Laura." "Sold, 120.!" "Think swine." "Laura, how you makin'out?" "Better than Mel Brundage over there." "It looks like Agritech will soon have the whole county consolidated." "You must be very proud." "I'm saving the champagne for Buck and Mary Shepherd's place." "When I get that, it'll be promotion city." "What makes you sure you'll get it?" "Economics, Laura." "Simple economics." "Would you like to meet the bank president?" " I have an appointment with him." " I'd love to." "I wish you luck, Miss Holt, but don't expect any cooperation in this town." "Those farmers are convinced they're the victims of some great conspiracy." " Mr. Willard, those poor farmers" " Enough, Jessica!" "What about us poor bankers?" "Every bank in this area is on the verge of disaster, thanks to those poor farmers." "About this conspiracy theory" "Miss Holt, why would I burn down anyone's farm?" "Every time a farmer goes under, there isn't a chance in hell he'll pay my money back." "I'd be out of business right now if it wasn't for Agritech." " Uh" " What is it, Preston?" "Frank, I just got the word from good old H.Q." "Once we consolidate the valley, they want me to do all our banking through Chicago." "What?" "Let's have a little chat, Preston." "Mr. Willard" " He tends to be a bit excitable." "Is the bank really in trouble?" "Oh, we'll pull through." "Mr. Willard isn't from this area." "He doesn't know how hard it is for a farmer to make it." "It sounds like you're talking from experience." "My family's farm went under when I was 12." "I know what poverty feels like." "Great news, Jessica." "Agritech is going to continue to do business with us after all." "Dwight wants us to be tactful." "If Mel hasn't done anything, we don't want to offend him." " What do you want?" " You're right." "Let's not offend him." "Mr. Brundage.!" "We'd like to talk to you about the theft at Progressive Farms." "Get!" "Is that bacon I smell cooking?" "I don't think it would be polite to ask." "We don't care who did it." "We just want the pigs back." "What do you care about them pigs?" "Bless you." "Less and less actually, but we happen to own part of them." "They belong to Agritech, and I don't know anything about 'em." " Get off my land!" " Mr. Brundage, I just" "What do you mean you can't do anything?" "The man almost killed us!" "If Mel wanted to kill you, he would have." " You were on his land." "Did you have permission?" " No, but" "Mr. Steele, we have a quaint tradition around here." "It's called the law." "He has our swine!" " Let him keep the pigs." " He's got nothing else." "Ladies, if you could staunch your good hearts a moment... we're talking about a man who's stolen our property... and tried to bury us in pig pellets!" " Did I say something funny?" "Hmm?" "Hmm?" " No, you're absolutely right." "I can't march onto Mel's land without more reason, Mr. Steele." "You only saw one pig." "We can't be sure he's got Agritech's animals." "But I think I have a compromise." "Breaker two-niner." "Breaker two-niner." "This is Big Mama, callin'the Steele Man." " Mildred?" " That's a big 10-4." "Any action, Steele Man?" " No, nothin'yet." " You don't say no." "You say, "Negatory, Big Mama. "" " I'll try to remember that." " Amateurs." "I think the country's gone to Mildred's head." "Mine too." "Have you noticed?" "I think I licked my hay fever." "Ah, there's something wonderful about this country air..." "I've never been able to sense before." "Well, perhaps you just haven't found the right company to bring it out." "You could be right." "You know, Millie..." "I haven't enjoyed a woman's company like this for" "Well, a long time." "That's nice." "My wife, well- my ex-wife I should say" "She ran off to the big city about a year ago" " Des Moines." "Said she was bored with the country." "You're not bored, are you, Millie?" "Mm-mmm." "Not at all." " Good." " On your toes, Big Mama." "We got Mel driving a truck and trailer out of a barn." "It looks like he's moving some pork on the hoof." " Darn!" "Now I know how they feel when I do it to them." " Yep." " Great strategy." " Wait a minute." "Listen to that." "Oh, you, you beautiful swine." "Whoo-hoo!" " Let it go, Laura." " No, I will not let it go." "This just doesn't add up." "Mel has been framed, Sheriff." "He was all alone out there with Willard's body." "Willard was killed by Mel's hammer with Mel's fingerprints on it." "Now, I don't know what you call that out in California, but out here we call it evidence." "Anyone could have stolen one of Mel's hammers from the auction!" "Aren't you taking this a little personally, hon?" "You're darned right I am." "I don't like being Agritech's tool." "We found their pigs." "Now maybe we can do something to help the people around here." "An admirable sentiment, Laura, but you've lost sight of the salient point here." "They're our swine too." "Now let's go home, sell them- mission accomplished." "Not quite yet, Mr. Steele." "I'm gonna have to impound those animals till this is cleared up." "Why?" "They can't testify." " Material evidence." " I would like to speak with Mel again." "I've got a phone call to make." "It was a man's voice on the phone." "Said he knew I had the pigs and wanted to buy 'em that night." "Meet him out at Fallworth Farm." " I got there, and Willard was dead." " Who else knew you had the pigs?" "Hell, lady, I ain't never been too good at keepin' a secret." "Most of the town knew about it, but they'd never tell Sheriff Clifford." "They're my friends." "Look, I hated Frank Willard." "And I know I got a mean temper... but I didn't kill him." "We believe you." "Well, you're about the only ones around here who do." "Been a crowd out there since 6:00 this morning." "A lynch mob." "Ugly scene." "Lynch mob?" " We're behind you, Mel.!" " Yeah.!" " Way to go, Mel.!" " Yeah.!" " We love you, Mel.!" " You saved the valley, Mel.!" "Frank Willard wasn't a real popular fella." "They think I'm some kind of hero for killin' him." "See that?" "From the ladies in town." "Each pie is like another year on my sentence." " We'll do what we can to help." " Lady, I don't understand you... but... thanks." "Bless you." " It's nothing." " Who were you talking to on the phone?" "Ah, just a friend." "Laura, Mel has the perfect motive." "I mean, why are you so determined to make this into BillyJack Saves a Pig Thief?" "It doesn't make sense." "Why would Willard arrange to buy the pigs from Mel?" "And where was the car that Willard arrived in?" "Oh, Laura, Laura." "You're always getting bogged down in details." "I will not help send an innocent man to prison." "Good mornin'." "I brought a little pie for Mel." "It's not much, but I had to do somethin' for our hero." "Oh, my God!" "That's comin' from my place!" "Hell, I was way out in the fields, Dwight." "And I managed to get back in time to keep the fire from spreading'." "Listen, Buck, it could have been a lot worse, mate." "Yeah, well, this is it for us, Jed." "Agritech can take over the entire valley as far as I'm concerned." "Now you hold on right there, Buck Shepherd." "We ain't quitting'." " Yes, we are!" " This is my family's land, and I'm stayin'." "Then you'll stay by yourself." "It could have been faulty wiring." "In a pig's eye." "Aptly put, Laura." "Nevertheless, under the" "Laura." "Laura, just a second." "Can I just say one- one thing?" "Laura." " You're not making any sense, Laura!" " No?" "You told me yourself you were planning to buy up Buck and Mary's place." " And now let's talk a moment about Frank Willard." " What about Willard?" "What did Willard have on you to make you change your mind about banking through Chicago?" "Nothing." "He just convinced me a local bank could do more for us." "Come off it, Preston." "Somebody set up Brundage." "Someone clever enough to use local hatreds as a smoke screen." " Where were you last night?" " I" " I was out." " Where?" " I don't have to tell you." "You're right." "Because I'm gonna find out anyway... and then I'm gonna nail you to the wall." "I'm sorry." "Excuse me." "Uh, Jed." "Jed, this is Jessica Swenson, from the bank." " This is Jed Steele." "He's from" " From Los Angeles." "He's a private investigator." " He's what?" " Miss Holt told me." "Buck, I'm sorry for any deception, mate." "Really." "I was just telling Buck how sorry I am about his loss." "Yes, yes, it is a tragedy." "Is the bank gonna help them rebuild?" "Oh, if only we could." "I just came from a board meeting... and it looks like Frank Willard was as bad a banker as he was a good citizen." " The bank is close to failing." " How unfortunate." "Yes." "I" " I really should be getting back to pick up the pieces." " Yeah, I'll walk you back." " It's nice meeting you, Mr. Steele." "Yes." "Yes." "The pleasure's all mine." "Tell me aboutJessica Swenson." "Terrific gal." "We all went to high school together." "Attractive woman." "Yeah." "She coulda had her pick of the lot." "She and Buck Shepherd were steadies for a long time... but she didn't wanna tie herself down to Grainville." "Funny, huh?" "So she ends up being a banker here." "Yes." "A very generous banker from what I understand." "Yeah, not like that skinflint Willard." "Jessica's always been there with the money." "Always encouraging us to take out loans... try new farming' techniques- hydroponics, stuff like that." "That girl has tremendous faith in the American farmer." "Yes." "Huh." "It's almost unbelievable." "Someone's put sugar in the gas tank." "The engine's completely fouled." "I wonder who." " What a place to be stranded, huh?" " Yeah." "It reminds me of something." "So you're not gonna tell me your theory about who killed Willard?" "Not until you tell me yours first." " I want more evidence." " So do I." "There's something..." "so familiar about all of this." " That's it." " That's what?" "North by Northwest." "Cary Grant, James Mason." "MGM, 1959." " I never saw it." " Laura, sometimes you're very difficult to talk to." "Grant is attacked in the middle of a cornfield by a crop duster." "Dive!" "Dive!" "Quick!" "Quick!" "Get down." " Just stay down, Laura." " Mr. Steele." " Don't worry, I'll decoy him." " But" "Hey, stop!" "Laura!" "Come on, Laura!" "Right idea, wrong movie." "It was Easy Rider.!" " Oh!" " Come on!" "Stay down, Laura." "It's a trick." "Stay down." "It's a pretty good one." "It's Mildred." "Oh, hi." "I saw the truck and the tracks leading here and" "What are you doing?" "Mildred, have you seen North by Northwest?" "No." "Avoid it." "We'll be at Preston's office in a few minutes." "Are you sure you don't want to be in on this?" "Mildred and I have our own errands to run." " Where are we going, boss?" " The bank." "The bank is closed for the day." "Best time to visit, Mildred." " No lines." " Oh." "I'm giving you one more chance to explain yourself... before calling the sheriff to arrest you for the murder of Frank Willard... and the attempted murder of two Los Angeles detectives." "Laura, you've got it all wrong." "Okay." "Okay." "Okay." "You wanna know where I was last night?" "I'll tell you." "I was in Des Moines with Sheriff Clifford's ex-wife." "I'm the reason she left him." "I'm the reason she left Grainville for the big city." "Des Moines?" "Well, it" " It was a case of opposites attracting." "My sophistication, her country charm." "My youth, her experience." "My salary, her love of clothes." "This is the secret Willard was holding over you?" "Laura, rural communities are very close-knit." "I could never survive out here if this came out." "For one thing, Sheriff Clifford would kill me." "Well, I can see your luck with women hasn't changed." "About these accidents, Preston." "Are you honestly telling me Agritech isn't responsible?" "Laura, I know big business is an easy target... but I swear to you we're innocent." "I don't suppose you own an orange pick-up either, with headlights on the roof?" "No." "That sounds like the town's one and only emergency vehicle." " Who owns it?" " The town." "Oh, but only one person drives it though- Buck Shepherd." "Preston, may I borrow your car?" "Sure." "Thanks." "How am I gonna learn if you don't let me practice?" "Some other time, Mildred." "Shall we?" " What are we looking for?" " Loan records." "Unless I miss my guess, two distinctive sets." "Oh!" "So much for avoiding the crowd." "Mary?" "It's Lauralu Holt." "Mary?" "Don't worry, Mary." "We'll have you out of this in no time." "Oh, boss, you were right." "Oh, that sweet thing." "She was keeping double books." "What a scam." "She would give a farmer a loan of say, 50,000, but put it in as 75." "Then she'd pocket the difference." "Then she has Buck torch the farmer's place, and she tidies up the paperwork." "And the bank would be none the wiser." "Gesundheit." "Come on, Buck, make it easy on yourself!" "Mildred.!" "Get the sheriff, will ya?" "My sentiments exactly." "You say tomato." "I say to-mah-to." "So it was Jessica and Buck, huh?" "Hard to figure." "Why'd they kill Willard?" "Jessica needed the bank to fail to permanently cover up her embezzlement." "Willard was taking measures to save the bank." "She couldn't afford that." "Okay, but how come Buck set fire to his own place?" "Well, it gave him a legitimate reason to divorce Mary without raising any eyebrows." "Buck and Jessica were secretly gonna link up somewhere... and live in luxury for the rest of their lives." "Here I thought it was Willard and Agritech against us... and it turns out to be two of our own." "Guess I was really wrong about them business folk." " Hi, gang." " 'Course that still don't mean I gotta like 'em." "Thanks again." "Top of the mornin', Mel." "I think I'm slowly winning them over." "Hey, just to show that Agritech has a heart... we want you to have this for recovering the pigs." " Oh, that really isn't necessary." " But much appreciated, Preston." "Ah, well, there's the sheriff." "Howdy, Dwight." "I guess I'll be going." "Can't convince you to stay, huh, Millie?" "Well, what's stopping you from visiting L.A.?" " I'm not born to that life, Mil." " Oh." "So, you're the second woman I lost to the city." "You come back and see me sometime." "I will." "Ah, Sh-Sheriff Clifford?" "Well, duty calls." "Good-bye, Millie." "Good-bye, Dwight." " Tough, huh?" " Let's just get out of here." "Mr. Steele, you got a phone call." "Some guy from Los Angeles named Marty." "Wants to know if you still want that boat or not." "What boat?"