"Hi, grandma." "It's Jenny." "How are you?" "The weather's so beautiful." "Yes, they just took the last of the furniture." "It looks so empty." "No, dinner's impossible." "I must be at the clinic first." "Yes, I'll be there at eight." "Give grandpa my love." "I think you'd feel a lot better if you got up and washed and dressed." "In any case we should open the curtains." "It's quite warm in here." "Last time I saw you we had a good talk." "What's happened now?" "You know that I know you're putting on an act." "What good is that?" "Forehead..." "Cheek..." "Eye..." "Mouth..." "You mustn't." "Poor Jenny." "Poor Jenny." " Jenny!" " Grandma!" "Come in." " Lovely!" "If you knew how happy I am..." " Lovely, I know." " Grandpa and I looked forward to this." " Where is grandpa?" "Grandpa, how are you?" "Here I am and I'm staying for two months." "Eric is in Chicago at a congress." "We just talked on the telephone." "He says there'll be so much to tell you when he's home again." "Come along now and I'll show you to your room." "I'll put you in your old room." "It's quiet, you won't be disturbed at all." "There's no noise from the street in the summer." " Oh grandma, you didn't have to..." " You know the furniture you had as a girl?" "It's been brought down for you." "Do you recognize it?" "And your old desk..." "You must tell me if there's anything you need." "Grandpa and I have so looked" " forward to you coming." " So have I." "We'd better go and have some tea with grandpa." "He gets so impatient if he has to wait." "Can you help grandpa?" "And how's my little Anna?" "Anna's gone off to riding camp." "She's in love with a three year older boy, who's been telling her all about the world revolution." " Is he also at riding camp?" " Anna is 14 years old" " and can take care of herself." " Sugar in your tea?" "Yes, please." "Three lumps." "Oh grandma, you've made scones." "And I've been considering a diet..." "That's nonsense." "Well, after riding camp, Anna will be staying with a friend." "And she won't be home until school begins." " And when will the new house be ready?" " In August, I hope." "The construction man has promised, but you never know." " And you work at the hospital all summer?" " Yes." "Does that mean you'll have no time to rest?" "Eric and I thought about going to Italy in October, but we'll see." " What sort of substitute is it?" " I'm filling in as senior physician." " I hope you're well paid." " Thank you grandma, I'm very well paid." "Are you happy at work?" "I'm happy wherever I am." " How is it?" " With me?" "Just fine." " Something wrong between you and Eric?" " Not at all!" " Well, something's wrong." " I'm just a little tired." "I haven't recovered from the flu I had in spring." "I must take vitamins." "Let's go and say goodnight to grandpa." "Grandpa loves to look at these old pictures." "He looks at them for hours." "That could be the summer of 1948." "It must be, because Greta has a big belly and Ragnar was born in September." "There were so many of us." "And that damned boat that always broke down when we needed it." "How I hated that boat." " You were daddy's little girl." " There were reasons for it." "Goodnight." "Sleep well." "Don't look at the pictures too long or your eyes will start to hurt." "20 years ago I realised the unfathomable brutality in our methods and the total meltdown of psychoanalysis." "I don't think we can cure one person." "One or two will be cured despite our efforts." "I think you'll get to keep Maria for a while, if you don't mind it." "You're the boss." "At least for now." "I'm going." "I'm having lunch with the interior minister, an incurably normal neurotic." "Goodbye." "And leave Maria to me when you've had it." "Ideally before Erneman comes back from Australia." "He's understood that this is a factory where ends must meet and likes the lunatics to be rotated." "That's why the politicians love him so much and let him travel around the world, spreading the gospel." "By the way, are you coming to my wife's party?" " Are you?" " No." "She's revealing her new lover." "Young Mr. Strömberg." " The actor?" " The very same." "He is exactly 26 years younger than my wife." "It's all very touching." " I mean it, without irony." " Isn't Strömberg..." "Yes, but Elisabeth loves his friends too." "She's like a mother to them." "I think I'm going." "Tell her that my prognosis for young Mr. Strömberg is bad and that I, despite everything, love her." "Dear Jenny!" "Are you showing up already!" " I thought it was at five?" " No, it was at two." "Almost everyone has left." "Come in." "It's so good to see you!" "What a nice costume you have." "Let me see... it's completely wonderful." "You are so beautiful." "Ah, to be looking like that!" "How lovely to see you." "Come in." "Where's your husband?" "Oh, right, he's in America." "This is Michael." "I'm very much in love with him." "Actually." "He's so good to me." "And this is his best friend, Ludvig." "We're going to Bahamas, the three of us." "And this is Tomas." "I'm sure you've heard about him." "He travels to developing countries, teaching girls to use contraceptives." "And he's the cutest doctor in the world if you have heart problems, if you know what I mean..." "And this..." "Who is this?" "Michael, do you remember who this is?" "Let's not bother him." "He's taken a little nap and he deserves it after telling us all off a while ago." "My, what a speech that was." "And this is a pair of sweet girls." "And capable." "They've opened a little store at the corner." "I think we should offer the boys some strawberries." "Aren't they fantastic, with their transparent dresses." "Imagine us in those clothes..." "Imagine that." "Are you happy now?" "I'm only telling this to you, because you understand." " Of course there are problems." " Really?" " Cheers!" " Cheers." "Michael is very complicated." "I almost get scared of him sometimes." "And Ludvig is a bad seed." "But generally, you could say that I am somewhat happy." "Are you alright, Elisabeth?" "I'm grateful." "Humbly grateful." "Not only because of Michael." "But because I have myself safe and sound." "And because I know that it's my feelings." "There is no distance between..." "Never mind, I'm drivelling." "I almost envy you." "We have to leave." "We're going to the countryside." "Sorry that you have to go now, but thank you for coming." "Oh, it was lovely." " How are you?" " Fine, how are you?" "Always fine." " What do we talk about now?" " We have an..." "Sorry." "... an excellent topic." " Really?" " A patient who happens to be my half-sister." " Oh, Maria." "Exactly." "It feels inappropriate to talk about a patient in this environment." " It's not necessary." " How do you mean?" "We could have dinner together." "There's a great fish restaurant nearby." " I..." " Of course." "We can do it another time." "I'm in town until the end of August." "Shouldn't we go to the restaurant?" "I'm just going to make a call." "If the offer stands, of course." "Hi, Martin." "Thank God I got ahold of you." "I can't see you tonight." "What?" "Yes, a patient." "Have I met someone who is funnier?" "You're so silly." "There's no point in having jealousy between us." "Goodbye." "Oh, lord!" "Shall we, or do you cling to your impulse of escaping?" " They serve an excellent sole." " I'm quite hungry." "Let's eat then, and see what happens next." "Is that fine?" "The house is crumbling." "Sometimes I consider getting something more modern." "When there was a woman in the house, the garden was nice but now it's..." " What would you like to drink?" " I'm fine." " How are you?" " How are you?" " I'm fine." "As always, I must say." " Congratulations." " Coffee?" " Maybe later." "Do you play?" " No, my wife did." " Is she dead?" " We divorced a couple of years ago." " Was it as successful as everything else?" "The divorce was the most successful thing we did." " Imagine that my husband is gone for three months." " I know, you hinted at it during dinner." " I actually miss him." " Of course." "I've got myself a lover who isn't half as nice." "Can you understand that?" "Sort of." "What other cures do you have for your anxiety?" "We're moving to a new house this autumn." " How nice." " Are you bored?" "Not at all." "I'm just wondering if your breasts aren't tremendously beautiful." "To still your curiosity, I can tell you that they are very beautiful." " You'll have to do with that explanation." " You misread me, but that's fine." " A cigarette?" " I don't smoke." "Wise." "Anyway, I'm going home." "Will you call for a taxi?" "Wait a moment." " I'm very tired." " Just listen for a moment." "Go on." "Can't we be friends?" "Don't look so ironic, I mean it." "Are you listening?" "Sure." "I just want to know how you've imagined us getting from here to your bedroom." "How you've figured out overwinning the awkwardness of getting undressed." "What amazing techniques you'll use to satisfy me, and yourself." "What demands you place on my performance." "How advanced and impulsive you allow me to be." " You're very funny." " Too bad, because I'm serious." "I also want to know how you've envisioned the termination of the sex." "Tenderly and quietly?" "A cigarette glowing in the morning light?" "Nervous talk about the next time and exchanging of phone numbers?" " I can at least drive you home." " No thanks." "I'll take a taxi." "A taxi for Söderhamnsvägen 9, please." "Thank you." "Goodbye then, Jenny." "Thank you for a pleasant afternoon." "Hope we'll meet again." " Maybe we could go to the movies." " Or a concert." "That would be nice." " I'll call you." " Maybe I'll call you." " That would surprise me." " Maybe I'll call just because of that." " It's so light." " It's almost two o'clock." " Are you running around again?" " The clock." " We wound it up properly last night." " It stops." " It doesn't." " It's lagging." "It's just like all the other clocks." "But if you keep fooling with it, I'm sure it will break." "I'm not placing you in a nursing home." "It's all in your head, do you hear me?" "Old age is hell." "There, there." "You always have me." "I'm always by your side." " Don't be so nervous." " I'm sorry." "Come and lie in my bed." "Then you'll sleep better and feel calm." "Then I'll just snore." "I've already slept enough." "Come now." "We'll have it comfortable." " Where are my slippers?" " What slippers?" " The other ones." " They're in the closet." " No, I looked there." " Yes, my dear, I put them there." "You never find anything." " Don't be so stubborn." "They're not there." " I know that they are there." "Who is it?" "Who are you calling?" "I must get Maria to the hospital." " Is it such a hurry?" " She's unconscious." "Are you sure that we drugged her?" " In any case she must get to the hospital." " Wait a minute." "No need for an ambulance." "Don't be afraid." "I won't do anything." "I have a proposition: you get out of here immediately, then I'll take Maria with me." " Listen to me." " I'm not interested." "Whether you want to know or not, the situation is this:" "Maria called us yesterday and wanted to go out, so we picked her up." "At night she got ill and started yelling for you and that we must take her to you." "We looked you up in the phone book and drove her here." "Nobody opened, so we crawled in through the cellar window." "When we saw it was all empty, we called the hospital and got your current number." "She's too tight." "Some have to pay for a fuck, did you know that?" "Call the fucking ambulance." "This is Dr. Isaksson at the psychiatric clinic." "I'd like an ambulance for Dennavägen 35." "Yes, right away." " Let's not talk too much this evening." " It's completely up to you." " You don't understand." " No, not really." "There are certain moments in life you just have to get through." " So?" " Certain hours, minutes." " Is it like that now?" " Maybe." " Anyway, I am grateful that we're together." " You need a drink." " Our last time was ridiculous." "Don't you think?" " I never think it's ridiculous." " Do you have sleeping pills?" " Of course." "Want one?" "Most of all I'd like you to give me a double dose of those sleeping pills." " Maybe I'll sleep twice as well." " And then?" "Then I'd like to sleep here in your bed, without making love." "You'd hold my hand if needed..." "Can you do that?" "Don't drink if you'll take the sleeping pills." "0,5 mg Valium and two Mogadons." "A good combination." "I use it myself without after- effects." "Drink strong coffee in the morning." " When do you want to be woken?" " Just before 7." "I must be at the hospital by 8:30." " Come." " Tomas..." "If you force things to be as usual, they'll be as usual." "Don't you think?" "That's how it is for me." "Something very peculiar happened to me." "When I came to pick Maria up the other day there were two men in the house." "One of them tried to rape me." "At first I got scared, then I thought it was silly." "Then..." "Then?" "He had his face pushed against my breast." "He was red in the face and tried to enter me." "And suddenly, I wanted him so badly to make it." "Is that so strange?" "No." "What was strange was that even though I wanted, he couldn't get inside me." "Everything was shut... and dry." "I'm sorry." "I don't know..." "Sit up." "Try..." " I don't understand." " Breathe slowly." "Take a deep breath." "There, there." "I don'twant to!" "I want to go home." "You're getting me a taxi." "I don't want you to drive me home." "There, there." "Should I call the doctor?" "There are doctors here already..." "I'm just tired." "I want to go home." "There's nothing wrong with me." "I want to go home and go to bed." "How are you now?" "Better." "Say what you want." "I'm driving you home." " Sorry for being so stupid." " You should rest." "Tomorrow I'll feel great." "Then I'm free for two days." "Next time we'll talk only about you." "You slept all day yesterday." " I started to worry." " What day is it?" "It's Saturday, 9 am." "I called the hospital and told them" " that you were ill." " God, I've slept an entire day." "I've made you some breakfast." "Thank you." "You should drink some coffee and eat a sandwich." "Unfortunately I can't stay home with you." "Grandpa and I are invited to the Egermans." "I can't call it off." "Grandpa is so happy to go to the countryside" " for a couple of days." " I can take care of myself." "Are you sure?" "It must be Sunday..." "I should get up and eat." "It feels strange." "At least the anxiety is gone." "One thing at a time." "A bit of food." "A walk." "A book... maybe a film." "Hi Tomas, it's Jenny." "I just wanted to apologise for last time." "It's great." "I thought you could take me to the movies?" "What do you think?" "I'm not afraid... not lonely." "Not even sad." "It feels quite nice." " Who are these people?" " Never mind." "Sit down with me so we can read on." ""ln the castle there lived an evil old woman... and an even more evil old man." "Before the lord of the castle went out into war... "" "What's happening?" ""They promised to do so... "" " Why am I so afraid?" " "When the knight went... "" " It's so hard to breathe." " Grandma?" "Why does it smell so bad here?" "And it's so hot." " It's so hard to breathe." " Be quiet now." "The temperature is exactly right and it doesn't smell bad." "Old people smell so bad." "Grandma and grandpa smell bad." "Old people are disgusting." "They always smell so bad." "They make it hard to breathe." "I hate it when grandma puts her hand on my shoulder and wants me to kiss it." " I get scared when you read." " Be quiet!" "Quiet!" "I would advise you not to open the door." " You're just trying to scare me." " Suit yourself." "I've warned you." " If I open the door, I'll wake up." " You can't wake up." " If I try hard..." " Go on." "There's something that I suddenly remember." "My suicide attempt was unsuccessful." " Not entirely." " What do you mean?" "Brain damage due to lack of oxygen." "Have you never heard of such fatality?" " Is it that decent?" " Yes, dear Jenny." "Exactly that decent." " Will I always live like this?" " Be calm." "At the hospital, they'll keep you alive, awake or unconscious." " How long?" " Until you die, properly." "And it'll take long?" "Seconds, minutes, years." "What do I know?" " It mustn't be like that." " Yes, Jenny." "It must be exactly like that." " Opening this door makes no difference." " Your logic is impeccable." " Do you know what's in there?" " How would I?" "Why did you warn me then?" "You become grateful for the horrors you're familiar with." "The unknown horrors are worse." " I'm opening it anyway." " Do so." "You have your free will." " Are you leaving?" " Dear Jenny." "I don't want to get into more trouble than I already have." "So if you'll excuse me..." "Don't go." "I'm leaving your dream and entering my own." "Don't try to make me stay." "Don't go!" "Alone..." "Grandma..." "If only I could wake up." " Are you cold?" " Yes." " Borrow my scarf." " Thank you." " You're not afraid any longer?" " I don't think so." "I don't want to..." "I don't want to." "Leave me alone..." "My legs aren't there." "Could someone get them over there in the corner and put them back on?" "Hello..." "Are you here..." "You said we'd go to the movies." "Remember?" "Then you got quiet and hung up." "I didn't know what to think." "It seemed strange." "So I called back and nobody answered." "I thought you had been robbed or something." "I really didn't know what to think." "It was just unpleasant." "Water?" "Yes please." "There." "Careful." "I appreciate it." "Finally I got so worried that I came over and rang your doorbell." "I asked the doorman to open." "I'm falling asleep." " Your patients have been waiting for hours." " Here?" "Yes." "According to the new contract." "Don't you remember?" "Oh, right." "How awkward." "Help me." "They have cut me in the head." "They operated on me." "But when they put me together they forgot the daily fright." "Come back next month." "Don't forget your pills." "Anna!" "What are you doing here?" "Don't be afraid of me!" "It smells awful." "I'm sweaty and dirty." " Your husband is here." " Not now..." "You have a knack for coming with surprises." "I just got off the plane." " It must be horrible." " Not at all." " Will you sit down?" " Of course." " I smell so bad." " Please." "Shouldn't you come back tomorrow?" "After we've got ourselves together." "Sure, but..." "I must fly back tomorrow." "It's hopeless." "I'm being the chairman..." "Poor you." "Don't feel sorry for me." "How messed up it is." "I've been very wondering." "I have never..." " Never been so..." " Sorry." " Why did you do it?" " Forgive me." "Forgive me..." "I know that I have a large part of the blame." "But I don't know what it consists of." "I've tried thinking through this..." "Another time." " Can you rest now?" " Yes, I can." "Don't worry." "What do you want me to tell grandma?" " If she asks..." " You can tell the truth." "And Anna?" "I want to talk her." "Can't you call her at the camp" " and ask how she is?" " Of course." "Goodbye then." "We're going to stay in touch." "Take care." "Mom, where are you?" "Dad, I'm home." "Why are you hiding?" "Come forth." "You're just scaring me." "Mom, it's me." "Dad, it's me!" "Don't you recognize me?" "Dad, I like you so much." "You were so kind to me." "It was so strange when you just disappeared." "I saw you when you were dead." "You were lying at the mortuary." "Dear mom, don't be so afraid." "It's alright." "I'm not nine years old." "I'm grown and have taken sleeping pills but apparently I failed." "Dad?" "Mom?" "You can't help that you were always so afraid." "Mom, dear little mom." "Everything would be so real and right and precise." "Dad, you were so fond of hugging and being tender." "You were so sad and nervous..." "Then we hurt each other without meaning it." "All life, all the days, all the words and all the petty things." "Dad?" "Mom?" "We also had such good times together, no?" "I was just a child, I didn't understand..." "But still, still you shut the door, and I stood there and burned with guilt!" "I stood there always at fault and guilty!" "Mom!" "Dad!" "Go away and never come back!" "I hate you!" "I hate you so completely!" "And I never want to see your frightened eyes and your frightened gestures." "Tomas..." " Why are you looking after me?" " I have my reasons." " By the way, I'm your doctor." " I didn't know that." " But now you do." " Is there coffee in that thermos?" " Yes." " Can I have some?" "No, I think it would make you feel nauseous." " But you can have lemonade." " No thanks." "You'd better drink." " How can you manage your job?" " I'm on vacation." "With nothing better to do than overlooking a confused suicide attack?" " No." " Tell me a story." "When I was nine, I learned to burp." "My older brother educated me." "At dinner, I found it suitable to demonstrate my newly acquired skills for the family." "I found a gap between the meatballs and the apple tart." "There was no success." "I was so nervous that I happened to fart at the same time." " How sad." " I created some stir, but what a flop." "I was denied the apple tart and the custard and was told to leave the table at once." " My upbringing was dogmatic." " Tell me more." "Something nice." " I don't know what." " Anything." "Maybe you've read a book or met an interesting person..." "Or been to a movie, or on a trip?" " Honestly, nothing's happened to me for a year." " What happened then?" " I was abandoned." " Oh right, you're divorced." "There was no wife in the picture." "I was abandoned by my friend." "I liked him very much." "That's not true." "I loved him." "We had lived together for five years." "You met him at that silly party at Dr. Wankel's wife's." "I suppose you know who I mean?" " The actor, Strömberg?" " That's right." " Now we're just friends." " Why did you separate?" "In our cruel market, the unfaithfulness is total and the competition terrible." "Wankel's wife gave much better terms." "She accepted his new friend and agreed to support them." " She's wealthy, as you know." " Wasn't he very fond of you?" "I think he was." "But he is beautiful, talented and a little spoilt and I suppose he needed something different." "So I was too painful with my feelings and my jealousy." "Sleep a while?" " What time is it?" " 01:30." "Almost break of dawn." "Mom!" "Dad!" "Help!" "When I was young, I knew that death frightened me." "It was always present." "It surrounded me." "My dog was run over." "That was nearly the worst." "Mom and dad died in a car crash." "Well, I've already told you." "A cousin died of polio." "I was 14." "We had been kissing at the dinner table on a Saturday." "Next Friday, he was dead." "You've always been considered a miracle of mental health." "Before I got married, I lived a long while with a crazy artist." "When he got very upset, he said:" ""Your frigidity is so total that it interests me"." "I said: "I'm only frigid with you." "Everyone else makes me come."" "I was at a party not so long ago, where someone read out a poem about death and love, and how they sink into each other." "And surround each other." "I remember mocking that poem." " Quite childish, don't you think?" " Maybe." "Dad was so kind." "He was an alcoholic." "He would always hug me." "We had it so good." "Mom passed by and said "That's enough of that mushiness"." "And grandma said:" ""Your dad may be nice, but he's a real lazy bum"." "Mom agreed with grandma, they helped despising dad." "And got me to join them." "That's how easy it was." "Suddenly I was embarrassed when dad kissed and hugged me." "I was so concerned about making grandma satisfied." "Then I had my own child." "Anna had a strange scream." "It was different from the other kids." "She didn't scream out of anger or being hungry." "It was more like a real cry." "It was heartwrenching." "Sometimes I wanted to hit her because of it." "And sometimes I was lost with tenderness." "But always with myself in my way." "A strange, strange, selfish fear." "One shouldn't give oneself away." "And the happiness faded." "I remember the first time I heard mom cry." "I was in the bedroom and heard mom and grandma talking." "Grandma had such a low, strange voice, and suddenly mom screamed." "I didn't know what it was about." "I was terribly scared." "Mostly because grandma's voice was so creepy." "And I walked into the living room and saw mom sitting on a chair by the window and grandma stood in the middle of the room." "When I came in, she turned to me and stared." "It was grandma's face, yet it wasn't." "She looked like an angry dog getting ready to bite." "And I ran into the bedroom and prayed that grandma would get her old face back and that mom wouldn't cry." "And it's so horrible when faces change so that you don't recognize them." "I can't talk aboutthis." "I don't want to." "Give me a shot." "I can't stand it anymore!" "I feel sick." "I can't go on living with this." "Relax now." "You can't wear that dress today!" "That's your Sunday dress!" "You can't manage that." "Let me help you." "Eat what's on your plate." "Painting your lips?" "That's not appropriate in this house." "You're late again." "Can you never learn to be in time?" "You're lazy and spoiled." "If you don't behave, we'll send you to boarding school." "There you'll learn to follow rules." "You'll be learning from decent people." "People who have tried to live their lives in order and cleanliness." "If you intend to continue your life with me and grandpa, you must change your behaviour." "You should be grateful!" "Can't you for once in your life show some gratitude?" "Don't hit me like that!" "Don't hit me in the face!" "I'll teach you to behave like people." "Stop your crying." "I don't like those tears." "I do as I please!" "You can't control me!" "I hate you, you fucking witch!" "I think it's best that you're in command." "I know that you love me and think you want my best." "I know that I must do as you say." "Why must I always have a guilty conscience?" "I'll ask for your forgiveness." "Forgive me." "I know that I've done wrong." "I'm always wrong." "Grandma's little girl." "We can talk about everything." "Everything is safe and sound with grandma." "I'll die if I must sit in the closet." "I'll do whatever you want if I don't have to sit in the closet." "Please, grandma, please." "I ask you for forgiveness." "I can't live if I must sit in the closet." "How can you lock a child who's afraid of the dark in a closet?" " lsn't it surprising?" " Yes, it is." "Do you think I'm emotionally crippled for life?" "Do you think we're a one million army of emotionally crippled people, wretches who wander around, shouting to each others with words we don't understand and that make us even more scared?" "I don't know." " There is an invocation for us who don't believe." " What do you mean?" " Sometimes I say it to myself quietly." " Can you tell it to me?" "I wish that someone or something will strike me, so I can become real." "I repeat over and over, may I some day be real." "What do you mean by "real"?" "To hear a human voice and trust that it comes from a human who is made like me... to touch a pair of lips and at the same time know that it is a pair of lips." " Sorry to disturb you..." " It's the middle of the night." " The middle of the night?" " My clock shows 04:05." "In the infirmary, it's 08:05." " But it's Tuesday?" " That's right." "Dr. Isaksson's daughter is out there." "She wants to see her mother." "I want to talk to her, but not here." "Could we sit in the visitor's room?" "Of course." "Some old major's wife has been making herself at home there, but she's gone for a walk." "I must clean up a little." "I think we can send Mrs. Isaksson home today, if she wants to." " Shouldn't we contact Dr. Wankel?" " Not necessary." "Maybe you'd like a breakfast tray in the waiting room?" "Your daughter might want a cup of coffee." "Thank you." "Will I see you?" "That would be nice." "But it might take some time." " Why is that?" " I'm going to Jamaica." " You didn't say a word." " I forgot to tell you." " I'll have to take care of myself..." " I'm the one who will take care of myself." "I might come with you." " No thanks." " What will you do in Jamaica?" "I've heard that you can live amorally in Jamaica." " Will you come back?" " I can't promise you that." " Goodbye." " Goodbye." "Take care of yourself... and the people who like you." "Hi, mom." "Dad called and said you were ill, so I thought I'd come and visit you" " though he said I shouldn't." " Did he say why I'm here?" "He said that you were ill and taken to the hospital by ambulance." " Not the reason?" " No." " Here you are." " Thank you." " Should I close the door?" " Yes." "Let's sit down." " Would you like some?" " No." "No thanks." "This won't be easy..." "Not for you nor for me." "I did something very stupid." "I tried to kill myself." "It's difficult to explain." "You might get the idea that I don't like you, or dad." "But you mustn't." "I like you most of all people." "You and grandma." "And dad." "Have you never done anything suddenly" " without knowing why?" " I guess." " You must try to forgive me." " I don't understand." " Are you going back to the riding camp?" " The train leaves in an hour." " Do you have money?" " Yes." " Are you having a good time?" " Kind of." "Say hello to Lena and Karin." " Are you coming home on Friday?" " Yes." "Couldn't we have dinner together?" "You pass by here on the way to Skåne." "You come in to town and then the train doesn't leave until ten." "We could have dinner and go to the movies." "Wouldn't that be nice?" "Mom..." "Will you do this again?" " No." " How do I know?" " You'll have to trust what I say." " But do you know what you're saying?" " Yes." "I think so." " But you're not sure?" "What do you really want?" "Don't you understand anything?" "You never liked me anyway." "And that's true." "I have to go now." "Don't worry." "I can take care of myself." " Are you feeling better?" " Much better." " Why didn't you say anything?" " There was nothing to say." "I asked Dr. Jacobi and he said that you were stressed out." " Yes." " And Eric who rushed home." " But he went back just as fast." " Yes, of course." "When he understood that it wasn't dangerous." "That you were just stressed out." "You're tired." "Shall I make the bed" " so that you can rest?" " No thanks." "But if you're stressed out you should go away for a while." "It's impossible now." "Erneman isn't coming home for two months." "Then Eric and I might go on vacation." "How are you, grandma?" "In some way..." "I sense that grandpa won't be walking again." "That's the way it is." "We have waited for this for several years." "Yet it feels strange... when it finally happens." "That's the way it is..." "I'll go in to see him now." "I stood at the door for a long time... looking at the old couple and their connection..." "I saw their slow movements towards the secretive and horiffic point where they must part." "I saw their dignity." "Their humility." "For a short moment I realised that love surrounds everything." "Even death." "Give me infirmary 11, sister Gunnel." "Good day, it's Dr. Isaksson." "Yes, thank you." "Tell Dr. Wankel that I'll be in at 7:30 tomorrow as usual." "Thank you."