"Captioning Provided By:" "MTV NETWORKS" "Jennifer:" "PREVIOUSLY ON "EXES  OH'S"." "I THINK I'M GAY, LIKE YOU." "ELIZABETH, WOULD YOU HAVE DINNER WITH ME?" "WE WERE WONDERING, WOULD YOU BE THE FATHER TO OUR BABY?" "SIENNA." "JENNIFER?" "Sam:" "GOT TO GET THROUGH THE WEDDING" "AND THEN YOU DON'T EVER HAVE TO THINK ABOUT HIM AGAIN." "SIENNA." "HI." "[LAUGHTER]" "OH, I AM TOO OLD FOR THIS." "YOU'RE ONLY 40." "COME ON, 40'S THE NEW 30." "OH, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHEERS." "HAPPY BIRTHDAY." "THANK YOU." "THERE YOU GO." "GOOD TIMES." "I'M SURE ELIZABETH DIDN'T MEAN TO BLOW YOU OFF." "IT'S PROBABLY NOT EVEN ABOUT YOU." "WELL, I'M TRIPPED OUT LIKE IT WAS ABOUT ME." "Jennifer:" "HEY, IT'S HER LOSS." "Sienna:" "YOU ARE GETTING SO INSECURE ABOUT THIS." "Sam:" "EMILY AND SIENNA ARE FIGHTING AGAIN?" "GEE, THEY'RE HAVING TROUBLE?" "IT WAS A MARRIAGE MADE IN HEAVEN." "UH, DOWN, GIRL." "THEY DESERVE EVERY OUNCE OF MISERY THEY'VE CREATED." "JEN, THAT WAS A BIT, UM, HARSH, AND, WELL, I DO HARSH." "JEN, YOU WERE SO NICE TO SIENNA AT YOUR MOVIE SCREENING." "YEAH, WELL, WELCOME TO THE NEW JEN" "THE ONE WHO TOTALLY SPEAKS HER MIND, UNINHIBITED, FORTHRIGHT, TOUGH." "HAH!" "DO NOT MESS WITH ME." "YOU ARE OUT OF CONTROL." "I'M OUT OF HERE." "[STAMMERING]" "OH, THERE'S A SHOCKER." "JEN, YOU'VE BEEN HOLDING ON TO SOME SERIOUS CRAP." "YOU'D BETTER BE CAREFUL WITH THIS NEW JEN, JEN." "SHE'S, UM, SHE'S A BIT EXTREME." "AND YOU DON'T DO EXTREME." "NEGATIVE ENERGY MISALIGNS THE CHAKRAS." "YOU KNOW WHAT?" "CHAKRAS MY ASS." "WELCOME TO THE NEW ME." "[*...]" "Woman: * I HEARD ABOUT THIS GIRL BEFORE *" "* WHAT HAPPENED TO HER, I'M NOT SURE *" "* SHE COULD NEVER FIND REAL LOVE *" "* SHE'S JUST A CONSTANT LOVER. *" "[MUSIC ENDS]" "Jennifer:" "I AM SO GLAD YOU STOPPED BY." "I MEAN, WHO FORGETS TO SET THEIR ALARM FOR A MEETING WITH A TV NETWORK?" "OH, MAYBE ALL THIS NEW JEN ENERGY MISALIGNED YOUR CHAKRAS." "ELIZABETH REALLY GOT TO YOU, DIDN'T SHE?" "JUST BECAUSE SHE SAID NO TO DATING YOU..." "BUT WHAT DOES IT EVEN MEAN?" "I NEED TO DO SOME WORK ON MYSELF?" "MAYBE YOU NEED TO..." "OK, THIS HAD BETTER BE THE OLD JEN TALKING" "BECAUSE I CANNOT HANDLE THE ONE THAT WISHED PLAGUES OF LOCUSTS UPON EMILY AND SIENNA." "YOU HAD YOUR FIRST SHARE OF UNKIND THINGS TO SAY ABOUT THEM." "I'M BUILT THAT WAY." "AND I'M NOT?" "I CAN SAY WHAT'S ON MY MIND WITHOUT MISALIGNING MY CHAKRAS." "OH GOD." "OW." "DR. BOB." "HI, BOB." "MORNING, LADIES." "FIRST." "YES?" "I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR BEING SO PATIENT." "AND?" "WELL, IT'S A BIG DECISION, AND I REALLY NEEDED TO THINK IT THROUGH." "I WOULD BE HONORED TO BE YOUR SPERM DONOR." "[GASPING]" "[WHISPERING]:" "OH MY GOD." "OH MY GOD." "THANK YOU, THANK YOU." "THANK YOU." "Sam:" "WOW, I JUST CLOSED ON MY CONDO." "YOU SHOULD BE SO PROUD OF YOURSELF, AND YOU DID IT ON YOUR OWN." "YOU KNOW, WITHOUT YOUR DAD." "YEAH, I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I'M ACTUALLY A HOMEOWNER, OR, YOU KNOW, CONDO OWNER." "IT'S ALL YOURS TO FIX AND FLIP." "WOW, THIS IS..." "THIS IS ONE BIG-ASS COMMITMENT." "MM-HM." "[WHISPERING]:" "GREAT, GREAT, GREAT." "OH, YOU'RE WRINKLED." "Man: * OH, AH, HEAD IT UP, MOVE IT OUT *" "* HEAD IT UP, HEE-YAH" "[WHIP CRACKS]" "OH, CRAP." "WHO THE HELL...?" "DID YOU NOT SEE ME HERE?" "YEAH, JUST PARK YOUR MOVING VAN." "IT'S NOT LIKE I MIGHT HAVE ANYWHERE TO GO THIS MORNING." "[GROANING]" "COME ON, WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP THERE?" "UNPACKING?" "[HORN HONKING]" "OH, CRAP." "OH, GAH." "Man: * OH, AH, HEAD IT UP, MOVE IT OUT *" "* HEAD IT UP, HEE-YAH" "[WHIP CRACKS]" "* HEAD IT UP, MOVE IT OUT, HEE-YAH *" "[MAN VOCALIZING...]" "[TIRES SQUEALING...]" "[CRASHING]" "[CAR CHIMING]" "Woman:" "HOW LONG DO YOU THINK YOU'LL KEEP IT FOR?" "I'M JUST GONNA, YOU KNOW, FIX AND FLIP." "OH, I, UH, I NEVER NOTICED THAT THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL DOESN'T WORK." "OH, I KNOW AN EXCELLENT PLUMBER." "OH, YEAH." "I CAN HANDLE IT." "YEAH, THIS'LL BE MY, MY FIRST CHANCE TO FIX." "I'M JUST, I'M IN THIS YOUTH GROUP" "AND I WAS KIND OF THINKING THAT MAYBE AT OUR NEXT MEETING, YOU COULD SING FOR US, MAYBE." "YOUR SONGS ARE REALLY COOL." "YOU THINK SO?" "YEAH, SINGING WOULD BE GREAT." "REALLY?" "YEAH." "OH MY GOD." "WELL, THAT'S AWESOME." "YOU CAN BE UP FIRST THING, RIGHT AFTER WE PRAY." "PRAY?" "YEAH." "WELL, WE INVITE CHRIST INTO ALL OF OUR MEETINGS." "OF COURSE, SOME OF THEM ARE SO BORING, I CAN'T IMAGINE JESUS WOULD WANT TO COME." "I'LL, UH, I'LL COME BACK AND TALK TO YOU LATER." "[STAMMERING]" "YOU'RE PLAYING AT SOME CHRISTIAN THING?" "EMMY." "MISS, UH, YOU, UH, FORGOT YOUR RECEIPT." "OH." "YOU MIGHT NEED IT JUST IN CASE THAT, UH, DISPOSAL UNIT DOESN'T WORK OUT FOR YOU." "OH, I'M SURE IT'LL BE FINE." "THANKS." "YEAH, ABSOLUTELY." "UM, UNLESS YOU GOT SOMETHING ELSE ON THAT CIRCUIT BREAKER" "LIKE, UM, DISHWASHER, OR CEILING LIGHTS." "UH, YEAH, I HAVE A DISHWASHER." "THIS DISPOSAL UNIT MIGHT WORK, BUT IT HAS A DRAW OF 8.1 AMPS" "WHICH MAY OVERLOAD A CIRCUIT BREAKER FROM, UH, WHEN WAS YOUR CONDO BUILT?" "'62?" "NOW I HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT WIRING?" "CAN YOU TELL ME AGAIN HOW THIS IS ALL PRETTY SIMPLE STUFF?" "NO, I'M SURE YOU WON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT." "WHAT THEN?" "AM I GONNA HAVE TO REPLACE THE WIRING, AND THEN THE PLUMBING" "AND THEN, WHAT, THE ROOF'S GONNA CAVE IN?" "IT'S JUST A GARBAGE DISPOSAL." "THIS IS INSANE." "INSANE." "WHAT WAS I THINKING?" "LIKE I'M DONALD TRUMP." "LIKE I CAN JUST BUY A CONDO AND THEN FIX AND FLIP." "I SHOULD HAVE MY HEAD EXAMINED." "HI." "UH, JENNIFER BUTLER HERE TO SEE..." "YEAH, UH, I'M SORRY I'M SO LATE." "OH, COME ON." "PLEASE?" "PLEASE?" "SORRY, HONEY." "JUST DOING MY JOB." "WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE A DAY LIKE THIS?" "HAVE YOU EVEN WATCHED THE NEWS LATELY?" "THE MAN'S GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN MAKE YOUR LIFE MISERABLE." "WELL, SOMEBODY'S GOT TO TAKE BLAME FOR THIS DAY." "IF THE CHAKRA FITS..." "SO I'M DOING THIS TO MYSELF?" "[COUGHING]" "YEAH, NEXT THING, YOU'LL TELL ME I'M MAKING MYSELF SICK TOO." "STRESS RELEASES TOXINS." "LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE." "MAYBE EVERYTHING WILL GET BETTER FROM HERE." "IT CERTAINLY CAN'T GET ANY WORSE." "SIENNA, WHAT ARE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY APARTMENT?" "YOU KEEP A SPARE KEY UNDER YOUR PLANT FOR WHEN YOU LOCK YOURSELF OUT." "THAT EXPLAINS HOW YOU GOT IN MY APARTMENT" "BUT I BELIEVE MY QUESTION WAS, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY APARTMENT?" "YOU SAW US THE OTHER NIGHT." "IT WAS REALLY BAD." "I HAD NOWHERE ELSE TO GO." "I'M SORRY THAT YOU TWO ARE HAVING PROBLEMS" "BUT IT IS NOT OK FOR YOU TO WALK INTO MY HOME UNANNOUNCED." "Woman:" "I'M NOT SEEING ANY RED FLAGS IN YOUR GENETIC HISTORIES." "LET'S MOVE ON TO LIFESTYLE." "SHE EATS LOTS OF LEAFY GREEN VEGETABLES AND GETS LOTS OF SLEEP." "AND SHE EXERCISES AND DOESN'T SMOKE." "WHICH BRINGS US TO AGE." "I KNOW IT'S TERRIBLY UNFAIR, BUT ANY PREGNANCY HAS A BETTER CHANCE" "WITH WHICHEVER PARTNER IS YOUNGER." "[SHRIEKING]" "I NEED YOU TO GO." "JEN, PLEASE, I JUST..." "Woman:" "EXCUSE ME." "HI." "I'M LUCIANNE." "I'M MOVING IN TO 103." "I MIGHT HAVE ACCIDENTALLY BLOCKED YOUR CAR THIS MORNING." "I HOPE IT WASN'T A HUGE HASSLE." "HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY" "EXCEPT WHEN A HOT NEW NEIGHBOR HOLDING A BOTTLE OF CABERNET IS APOLOGIZING TO YOU." "THAT'S WHEN "HONEST-ESQUE" MAY BE THE BEST CHOICE." "UM, YEAH, I MEAN, IT WAS A BIT OF A HASSLE." "YOU KNOW, YOU WERE MOVING." "THESE THINGS HAPPEN." "OH." "WOW, '97." "[COUGHING]" "EXCUSE ME, WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING." "CAN YOU GIVE US A MINUTE?" "WE DON'T NEED A MINUTE." "[COUGHING]" "I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO HEARING YOU PLAY." "CRUTCH, IS IT?" "YOU'VE HAD SUCH A POSITIVE IMPACT ON OLIVIA." "AW, COOL." "I HOPE THE KIDS LIKE MY STUFF." "YOU KNOW, MY FRIENDS WERE WORRIED BECAUSE OF THE WHOLE GAY THING." "THE GAY THING." "UH, OLIVIA DIDN'T TELL ME YOU WERE GAY." "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT SHE IS." "HER MUSIC IS COOL." "IT'S JUST ALL ABOUT BEING YOURSELF." "IT'S REALLY POSITIVE." "YOU ALWAYS TOLD US JESUS WAS POSITIVE, AND HE WOULD LOVE HER." "WELL, UM, MAYBE YOUR MUSIC WOULD HAVE A POSITIVE, UH, INFLUENCE ON THE OTHER KIDS AS WELL." "YEAH, IT TOTALLY WOULD." "WE'RE HAPPY TO HAVE YOU, CRUTCH." "BUT LET'S JUST FOCUS ON YOUR MUSIC, AND NOT ON YOU." "DEAL?" "I DID NOT MOVE OUT OF A STORAGE ROOM JUST SO I COULD MOVE BACK INTO THE CLOSET." "AND NOW, THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL DOESN'T WORK, AND I MIGHT HAVE TO REPLACE ALL THE WIRING" "AND THE PLUMBING, AND..." "YOU DID A LOT OF SIMILAR WORK IN THE PLACE YOU LIVE IN NOW, DIDN'T YOU?" "YEAH." "THE CONDO WAS BUILT IN 1962, AND THE RENTAL THAT I'M IN." "RENTAL." "WELL, A CONDO IS A COMMITMENT." "YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T COME HERE TO, UM, GET THERAPY ON MY COMMITMENT ISSUES." "I JUST CAME HERE TO GIVE YOU THAT CHECK" "BECAUSE YOU ACCIDENTALLY "THERAPIZED" ME LAST WEEK." "YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HERE?" "THIS IS THE PART WHERE YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME" "THAT, UH, I NEED TO DO SOME WORK ON MYSELF, OR, YOU KNOW, SELF-ACTUALIZE, OR..." "CERTAINLY." "PART OF SELF-ACTUALIZATION, AS YOU PUT IT" "IS THE ABILITY TO COMMIT TO SOMETHING, OR SOMEONE" "AND MAYBE GETTING HURT, AND YOU DON'T LIKE HURT." "YOU DO." "WE'RE TALKING ABOUT YOU." "YOU SIT THERE, AND YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME, BUT YOU DON'T." "YOU DON'T KNOW ME." "YOU DON'T." "I'M HERE TO GET TO KNOW YOU." "WELL, YOU KNOW, HAVE FUN." "WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME SOMEONE REALLY HURT YOU AND YOU STAYED TO DEAL WITH IT?" "I DON'T NEED THIS." "Harrison:" "IT'S EASIER TO WALK AWAY." "THE HARDER CHOICE IS TO STAY." "Chris:" "I AM OVER THE HILL." "PREGNANT IS SOMETHING THAT WILL NEVER, EVER HAPPEN TO ME." "NO, IT'LL HAPPEN TO US." "WE'RE DOING THIS TOGETHER." "IT'S GONNA BE A WHOLE NEW LIFE, AND I CAN'T WAIT TO GET STARTED TOMORROW." "ME TOO." "HEY, WE'D LOVE FOR YOU ALL TO MEET US AFTERWARDS." "COME TO THE BEEVER." "WE'LL HAVE AN INSEMINATION PARTY." "OH, HEY." "All:" "CHEERS." "Jennifer:" "HERE'S HOPING I'M NOT PASSED OUT ON MY COLD PILLS." "JUST KEEP HYDRATING." "PLEASE, I JUST NEED A MINUTE, AND THEN I'LL GO." "I WAS WAY OUT OF LINE, COMING TO YOU OF ALL PEOPLE." "I'M SORRY, AND I HOPE ONE DAY, WE COULD, UH, START OVER BE FRIENDS?" "OK." "YOU HAD AN AFFAIR." "I KNOW." "WITH OUR COUPLES THERAPIST." "I KNOW." "AND MARRIED HER, AND INVITED ME TO THE WEDDING LIKE IT WAS NO BIG DEAL" "AND THEN, IN SOME INSANELY SELF-CENTERED WAY" "THOUGHT IT WAS OK TO SHOW UP AND MAKE ME YOUR SHOULDER TO CRY ON." "I KNOW." "I WISH I COULD TAKE IT ALL BACK." "I AM SO SORRY FOR ALL OF IT." "YOU KNOW, WHEN THAT APOLOGY MIGHT HAVE MEANT SOMETHING, IS WHEN I STILL LOVED YOU." "BUT I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE." "I DON'T KNOW THAT WE'LL EVER BE FRIENDS." "AND I CAN'T FEEL GUILTY." "I WON'T." "I DON'T." "AT LEAST LET ME BUY THE NEXT ROUND." "I'LL COME BACK FOR MY CARD LATER." "MAKE MINE A DOUBLE, SAM." "HERE YOU GO." "COMING RIGHT UP." "THANKS." "BABE?" "JUST A SEC." "I'M TRYING TO SET A MOOD HERE." "CHRIS." "I'M SORRY, BABY." "I LOVE YOU." "[KNOCKING]" "UM, JUST BRING IT IN HERE." "DAD." "I WAS JUST IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD AND THOUGHT, IF YOU WERE HERE" "WELL, I'D DROP THIS STUFF OFF FOR YOU." "UM, ANYWAY." "DO YOU HAVE TO GO?" "I MEAN, DO YOU WANT, UH, SOME COFFEE OR SOMETHING?" "YEAH, THAT WOULD BE NICE." "Girl:" "HI, CAN I..." "[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]" "OK, ONE AT A TIME." "A TRIPLE SHOT, EXTRA FOAM, NON-FAT LATTE." "I SEE YOU GUYS MET CRUTCH." "Girl:" "OH MY GOD." "YOU'RE CRUTCH?" "OLIVIA TOLD US ALL ABOUT YOU." "SO YOU'RE THE LESBIAN." "THAT IS SO COOL." "SORRY." "EVERYBODY WANTED TO MEET THE SINGER WHO TOLD OFF OUR MINISTER." "WELCOME." "[SHRIEKING]" "[LAUGHING]" "OH." "WELL, WE SURE MADE A MESS OF THAT." "YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN ME TRYING TO DO THIS ALONE." "GOD, IT WAS THE WORST DISASTER OF MY LIFE." "WORSE THAN YOUR SLIP 'N SLIDE DISASTER OF 1985?" "OK, YOU SHOULD TALK." "DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU TRIED TO PUT MY BIKE TOGETHER?" "OH, AND THE TIRE FELL OUT." "WHEN I WAS GOING DOWNHILL." "[BOTH LAUGH]" "OH, GOD." "YOUR MOTHER WAS SO ANGRY AT ME." "YOU STILL HAVE THE SCAR?" "YEAH." "[LAUGHING]" "AW, GEE." "IT WAS, UM..." "IT WAS HARD TO TAKE." "YOU NOT ACCEPTING ME." "BUT THEN, ME JUST WALKING AWAY WASN'T A VERY GROWN-UP MOVE EITHER, SO I'M SORRY." "YEAH, ME TOO." "HONESTLY, I NEVER REALIZED I HAD ANY ISSUES ABOUT YOU BEING GAY." "I ALWAYS THOUGHT I WAS SO LIBERAL AND OPEN-MINDED." "I'M WORKING ON IT." "I KNOW." "OH, GOD." "I LOVE YOU, SAMMY." "[PHONE RINGING]" "HELLO?" "THIS IS JENNIFER BUTLER." "UM, 3:00 AT THE NETWORK." "PERFECT." "[COUGHING]" "I'LL BRING THE ROUGH CUT WITH ME." "THANK YOU." "I'M SORRY FOR BLAMING." "LIFE IS GOOD AGAIN." "WHAT DID YOU..." "WHAT DID WE..." "NO." "NO, UM..." "SIENNA..." "SIEN..." "OH, CRAP, THE INSEMINATION PARTY." "DAMN IT, HALF THE DAY IS GONE." "* BECAUSE JESUS LOVED EVERYONE" "* HE CAUSED A GREAT BIG FUSS" "* YOU CAN'T EVEN SPELL "JESUS" WITHOUT SPELLING "US" *" "* YEAH." "[APPLAUSE]" "Woman: * I'VE BEEN SLEEPING THROUGH MY LIFE *" "* NOW I'M WAKING UP *" "* I WANT TO STAND IN THE SUNSHINE *" "SAM, SAM, SAM, SAM, SAM." "TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT." "OH, YOU MADE IT." "YOU KNOW, A LIGHTWEIGHT LIKE YOU REALLY SHOULD NOT DRINK ON AN EMPTY STOMACH" "ESPECIALLY AFTER TAKING THOSE ANTIHISTAMINES." "OK, UM, THAT DOESN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION." "WHAT I WANTED TO KNOW IS..." "HEY." "Chris:" "OH, THANK YOU." "IT WENT GREAT." "WE'RE KEEPING OUR FINGERS CROSSED FOR YOU." "OH, THANK YOU." "DECAF AND MUFFINS ON THE HOUSE, LADIES." "[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]" "YOU'RE GLOWING ALREADY." "TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED." "HOW CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHO YOU TOOK HOME?" "EVEN I REMEMBER WHO I TOOK HOME." "WHO DID YOU TAKE HOME?" "UH, I DIDN'T." "I..." "UM, I'M SORRY." "UH..." "LOOK, I DON'T CARE WHO YOU TOOK HOME." "WANT TO KNOW WHO I TOOK HOME?" "ACTUALLY, I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER IF I DID TAKE HER HOME, BUT..." "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW I WOKE UP WITH SIENNA?" "YOU SLEPT WITH SIENNA?" "[NEEDLE SCRATCHING ON RECORD]" "Chris:" "SIENNA?" "[WHISPERING]:" "SORRY."