"WITHOUT HER" "Mom!" "Mom!" "You seem to be feeling better today." "Am I mistaken?" "Is it still raining?" "A little." "Don't worry." "It happens all the time here." "Too many masterpieces, too much architecture..." "You can go a little crazy." "The city's to blame." "please come." "Someone's here for you." "It can't be." "No one knows I'm here." "Someone to take you back to Canada." "Your aunt, I think." "camille, listen." "You slashed a Renaissance masterpiece, I had to come." "We'd had no word from you in so long." "Imagine what went through our minds." "After what happened to your mom..." "Proof that I was heading into turbulence, was the presence of Anne-Marie, Mom's sister," "They had the same ears, the same knees, the same way of wringing kleenex." "And then seeing Robert again," "Mom's boyfriend, who over the years had become my father." "You look better than she said, thank God." "There was Charles, the sensitive one in the family." "Mom's little brother." "He was convinced I'd come home in a plastic bag with a label tied to my big toe." "I hate you!" "And there was Maryse," "Mom's best friend." "They had the same childhood memories, the same repertoire of kitschy songs, the same way of holding their sides when giggling." "She flew over to get you before we knew." "Robert's furious." "Proof of the looming catastrophe:" "they were all here." "Except her, Hélène, my mother." "I'd dreaded her surfacing again in my memory." "And there I was." "To my surprise, I didn't collapse." "Life went on." "I'm skeptical about this StendhaI syndrome." "Who cares?" "The doctors said she's okay." "In 20 years as a shrink I've never heard of it." "You don't get out enough!" "When StendhaI visited italy, he had a dizzy spell at a cathedral." "He didn't have a psychotic break." "I knew she'd say that." "It's when you're overstimuIated..." "OverstimuIated?" "Then we'd all be crazy." "Do you mind?" "There've been many papers on the condition." "It's spectacular, but harmless." "Don't make light of it." "camille's always been impressionable." "So impressed that when I arrived she tried to run away!" "I can sympathize." "camille, Iet's shut them up." "When you freaked, what were you admiring?" "MicheIangeIo's David, his dick?" "No, angels." "FIuttering around the holy Virgin, an Annunciation scene." "She's a lapsed catholic!" "Give her a break!" "It's jetIag, not you." "I'm really worried." "She's so changed." "She quit school, vanished, and I shouldn't worry?" "You think she's schizzy?" "You're trying to convince us she's crazy." "Stop it!" "That's enough!" "That's not what she said." "I wanted to go get her myself." "She's my daughter!" "Your sister's always interfering!" "I think it's time for bed." "Mom had vanished without a trace." "Just like the 2 years I'd wasted in Italy, ignoring my violin, trying to convince myself it hadn't happened." "49-Year-Old Psychologist Reported Missing" "Camille!" "Are your windows shut?" "Yeah, I've got them." "Got a fiver?" "I need to take a taxi." "You live down the street." "How would you know?" "Your mom used to be my shrink." "Say hi to her for me." "Yeah, right." "Sure I'II say hi to her for you." "Why, what did I say?" "I think you need more therapy." "For the girl who won all the violin awards I lost, you're quite a mess." "Is classical violin that much of a downer?" "Leave me alone!" "Leave me alone." "Your taxi!" "Where you going?" "It was her car." "Can't I use it?" "I mean, with her things." "I'm giving it to charity." "Like you should have while I was away." "Don't give the sari away." "I'm wearing it, aren't I?" "Am I the reason you stayed away?" "Why?" "Because you never look me in the eyes." "I got angry at HéIène, but I wouldn't hurt her." "I Ioved your mom." "Why didn't you demand the cops solve the case?" "You run away, and I'm supposed to torture myself over the inexplicable?" "I wanted to move on too." "I wasn't in Matane when she vanished." "And I wasn't the one the cops suspected of killing her." "So that's it?" "I knew it!" "When a woman disappears, the cops suspect the husband." "Sure!" "especially when she's liberated." "exactly!" "You didn't fight back." "Why not try to prove them wrong?" "And change what?" "Lots!" "It would've changed nothing!" "Except my doubts about you." "It would've made all the difference." "The clock keeps time tick-tock, the lakebird splashes pick-pock." "Gobble-gobble's the turkey's song." "The doorbell chimes ding-dong!" "But Boom!" "When our heart goes Boom, everything echoes Boom in the room, and love bursts into bloom." "I hope you don't want to stay." "We're full." "No." "But if you could prescribe a pill to make me sing like him..." "Is that why you came?" "I can prescribe whatever you want, but it won't help." "I can count on you to cheer me up." "Yeah, I noticed." "I felt so useful while you were having a depression in italy." "I wasn't depressed, just gone." "That's what I needed." "Running away's not a miracle cure." "Look, I'm back now!" "So how are you?" "I think of her often, but not for as long." "I stopped hassIing the detectives." "After a while it becomes pointless, no?" "It's pointless." "Last year I went to see her sailboat in Matane." "I took all the letters she'd ever written me and threw them in the river." "It helped." "I'm not into rituals." "I'm not into rituals either." "But she was." "You joining a sect?" "No, I'm holding a yard sale." "Sorry about your mom." "The other night, I didn't know." "It doesn't matter." "I was in ireland." "Forget it." "It's weird, ireland was your mom's idea." "I wanted to play folk, not classical." "Matane?" "Quite a trek!" "Can I come?" "It's a trip I'd rather take alone." "It's too corny, I don't want anyone there." "Too bad, I'm headed that way." "Yeah, too bad." "It's far, I'd keep you awake." "I know some amazing fiddIers." "Some other time." "I really want to go alone." "I've tons of sheet music, some awesome Irish reels." "Better than the muzak we played in school." "Ok, get in." "What'II you do with it?" "Burn it?" "Throw it in the river?" "I haven't decided." "It's a beautiful souvenir, keep it." "They say it helps you say goodbye." "It's something Mom would want me to do." "I'm going to do it." "Miss Dubois?" "What about later?" "Don't you have friends in Matane?" "Yeah, they've gone to Brittany." "On a two-month tour." "I didn't know." "You'II get your asking price for her, she's in great condition." "I found this." "Beneath the motor." "Must be the only spot the cops didn't search for clues." "Thanks." "CROSSING TO MADELEINE ISLANDS" "You're lovely from behind." "I mean, from in front too, but your back's beautiful." "You better find a place to stay, it's getting dark." "Why not your motel room?" "Scared?" "You can shower while I'm gone." "Shower, why?" "It's no fun driving with someone who doesn't wash." ""Leave Without Looking Back."" "Think your mom might've just run off?" "Look, go shower." "solo!" "solo, I have to leave!" "How come?" "It's about my mom." "I have to go to the islands." "Right now?" "I think she went to meet a man." "She told us she was going to a conference in Boston." "I'II just finish showering." "I've no feeling, but people don't notice." "That answer your question?" "I'm going to the madeleines." "You can come if you Iike." "Hope your guy has coffee." "If it's ok, I want to go alone." "Not that shit again?" "So he'II feel free enough to talk about my mom." "Stretch your legs." "TRAILERS FOR RENT" "Who handles the rentals?" "My dad." "Is his name Mike?" "Why, do you know him?" "A customer!" "well, ask her in!" "He's none too sociable." "What's your name?" "Catherine." "I can't promise." "My husband usually doesn't rent this late." "Stop staring, it's impolite." "Mike!" "C'mere a minute." "For a trailer." "Do we want to?" "She's alone." "You wanted to redo the plumbing." "Change your mind?" "This late, a hotel would be more comfortable." "If she's alone she can have mine." "Over there." "special price." "I said we're closed for the season." "I Iike seeing new faces now and then." "Any objections?" "Pay no heed." "They'II be buddy-buddy soon." "I'II get my stuff." "I order my video games by catalog." "If ever you're interested, lemme know." "I doubt your video games interest her." "The toilet leaks." "We should get the part this week." "Change your mind?" "No, it's fine." "That's alright, as long as I know what it is." "I mean... it's not the roof." "If you stay, I'II clean the windows." "Some tourists complain about the film." "I couId spend my Iife washing windows." "It's the salt does that." "Spend a year here, you'II see I ain't kidding." "There's extra covers in the cupboard." "Catherine?" "What?" "Do you want more covers?" "No, it's ok." "I forgot something." "Can I..." "Go ahead." "What are you playing?" "What?" "Which video game?" "No, I'm working." "I saw your laptop..." "That's cool, you can use it." "Want some?" "No thanks." "I thought I'd go into town tonight." "I couId show you the clubs." "Yeah, maybe." "Don't worry, I'II wash the windows." "Yvan Vigneault declares that between 1987 and 1994, he committed the crimes listed in his police record:" "causing the death of J.P. Gatineau, plotting with M. Caron, D. Roi and S. Nadeau to commit the murder of Franco Santorelli." "The informant will be placed in the witness protection program, involving a change of identity and domicile." "So, where were you?" "I was looking." "They calling for rain?" "It leaks a bit, but there's room for two." "Two?" "Our love story is getting hot." "The guy's dangerous." "I don't know how he's linked to Mom." "If he's a psycho, don't count on me." "I'm no Bruce willis." "What is it?" "Coming?" "I'm not really sure." "I met a girl at a bar this afternoon." "I'd just be in your way." "It's ok, you wouldn't." "I'II see you tomorrow." "I dropped by before." "I thought you were sleeping." "How can anyone sleep here?" "The ocean is so noisy." "Have you lived here long?" "3, 4 years." "Why?" "No reason." "Who told you about our place?" "Nobody." "You asked if Dad was named Mike, Iike you knew him." "Nobody told you about us?" "Maybe a guy on the ferry said you had rentals." "A guy?" "From the tourist office?" "No, I don't think so." "Weird that someone mentioned us." "We're not that well known." "Dad doesn't want us to be either." "Why's that?" "It'd take too long to explain." "It's not stuff you talk about to a beautiful woman." "Can you survive far from your true identity?" "The criminal on the run, trying to escape the law, living in dread of being found, who flees without leaving an address..." "Who is he?" "The psychopathology of loss of identity, loss of points of reference." "I think of my trip to India." "I've been searching for you!" "Did we have a date?" "No." "It's just..." "I saw a woman." "I mean, I can't be sure but..." "She looks like your mom." "Fuck you!" "Think I'd dare joke about it?" "She's near your trailer, if it's her." "You think it is?" "Fuck, camille!" "I told her my childhood story 150 times!" "I know what she looks like." "It may be her." "Where is she?" "On the beach." "HéIène!" "Mom!" "Do you know how long I've been searching for you?" "Stop it!" "Mom!" "Stop it!" "Do you know the hell I've been through?" "camille, stop it!" "Mom, you left me all alone!" "Mom!" "I thought you were dead." "I thought I'd never see you again." "camille!" "Mom, you were gone!" "camille, we can't stay here." "What are you afraid of?" "Mom, who are you afraid of?" "Who are you afraid of, Mom?" "Who?" "Mike Parizeau?" "Who told you?" "Who is he?" "Who told you?" "Why'd you change your name?" "The cops after you?" "It's a Iong story, I can't tell you now." "When were you going to tell me?" "talk to her." "You didn't see me." "Invent something." "Do it!" "The view here is great." "Yeah, the view is hard to beat." "But this one's not for rent." "It's private." "My husband doesn't like Iodgers snooping." "It can lead to trouble." "My boy went crab-fishing." "If you care to eat with us, feel free." "I'II be cooking all day." "I'II drop by." "Your Catherine said yes." "hell would freeze over before he asked you." "You should zip up your pockets." "I found these on the beach." "Maybe there were more." "It's all I found." "camille." "They're not mine." "She's a girl I met in italy." "Why do you have them?" "She was supposed to join me." "But she's not coming." "Why not?" "She's messed up." "Something about her mom." "I'II expect you for supper." "Don't be too late." "C'mon, she wants us to follow her!" "Why can't Parizeau find out I know you?" "Some people want to kill him." "Why?" "And they want to kill me too." "Why, what's the connection to you?" "I was his therapist, he told me things about his gang." "They're killers, they're after me." "Why didn't you tell the police?" "The cops can't protect me." "Once here," "I was a threat to Mike's safety." "He wanted to kill me." "You live here!" "Listen to me!" "I had to disappear in order to stay alive." "I knew you weren't dead, Mom." "Imagining how you were feeling nearly drove me mad." "When you stopped sending letters from Europe, I feared the worst." "How could you know?" "How could you know I'd stopped writing?" "Robert knows." "What?" "Fuck!" "He even knew a stripper had been cremated so Mike's enemies would think I was dead." "Mike left hair and blood of mine in with her ashes so the police would think so too." "Robert knew and didn't tell me?" "I knew he'd watch over you." "So you trusted him but not me." "You'd have put yourself at risk trying to find me." "What were you thinking, Mom?" "After you, I had nothing left." "Don't talk like that." "I wanted to die, Mom." "Come on in, pull up a log." "When he starts, there's no stopping him." "I didn't know you play guitar." "What can I say?" "We all have our little secrets." "Dig in." "Where'd you say you're from?" "St Hyacinthe." "She already told us." "She knows a CamiIIe Dubois from montreal." "It's all mixed up." "Quit bugging me and get her a drink." "gabriel tells me you were supposed to meet her here." "Yeah, that was the plan." "And our place here," "camille told you about it?" "She just said her Mom was hiding." "She was hiding out here." "No visits." "No visits?" "I think your girlfriend was telling ghost stories." "She misses her mom." "simple enough." "She's her mom." "Put on your PJs." "Come on, Iet's you and me take a little walk." "We can chew the fat." "If anyone goes with her, it's me." "Listen you..." "Mind your business!" "Wait!" "What do you want?" "I just want to talk." "What are you doing?" "I want to talk about your mother." "I know who you are." "You're CamiIIe Dubois, so quitjerking us around." "I know who your mom is!" "Why did you come here?" "What do you want, camille?" "I want my mom to be free." "I want her to come home." "You want her to come home?" "Have you completely lost it?" "What do you mean?" "Let's go." "No." "Don't worry, I won't turn you in, I just want my mom!" "They know who I am." "Come on!" "You're scared of water now?" "You'd have phobias too if your mom suddenly disappeared." "Ever since I went to florence." "You went to florence?" "Yeah." "You said you'd take me when you were rich and old and wrinkled." "I bet you went and thought I'd exaggerated." "AII rain and rats." "No." "But it still sucked." "What happened in florence?" "It was so beautiful, and you were so not there." "I tried to keep going, but... it was too beautiful for me alone." "When I saw an ad for cookies," "I remembered the ones you baked for me, that you hid in a metal tin." "It hit me suddenly." "I missed you so much and the smell of your hair." "I even thought I heard your voice." "camille..." "What'II we do now?" "I can't change the past." "We could leave now, nobody would know." "If I come back to life, I won't live long." "We can go anywhere, I don't care." "It's him." "Run!" "Run!" "I'II handle it." "Run!" "gabriel!" "gabriel, quick!" "He'II kill her!" "Your dad'II kill her!" "will she ever shut up, goddamit!" "Where's my mom?" "I don't know." "We had nothing to do with whatever happened." "I know the truth!" "Let her go!" "What the fuck?" "Come with me, you're crazy!" "Don't lie, I saw you beat her!" "How'd you find us?" "Who told you to come?" "She's out of it, Iet her go." "Listen, you!" "Don't make me mad!" "Open up!" "Why do you think I was involved with her?" "Answer me!" "I had nothing to do with it!" "Nothing to do with her murder!" "What murder?" "What do you mean?" "The psychologist they found burned two years ago near Rimouski." "Isn't that what you mean?" "Open the door!" "Stop!" "Open the door!" "Robert?" "I'm sorry." "Forgive me!" "Forgive me for ever doubting you." "I almost lost you!" "calm down, you'II be fine." "She's in real danger." "Listen to me!" "You have to convince Mike we won't stool him." "Find them!" "Before it's too late." "camille, it makes no sense!" "Or we'II never see her!" "Wait, stop it." "You don't have to pretend." "I know, HéIène told me." "Look... do as I say." "Take ArsenauIt Rd all the way to the end." "Turn on to Ash St." "It's there!" "camille..." "Be quiet!" "Before it's too late." "please go!" "I said, keep quiet!" "I spoke to your doctor." "Don'tjust stand there!" "tell him we won't stool, we don't care about the stripper." "But he mustn't kill HéIène!" "HéIène died 2 years ago." "No, Maryse, we were led on." "She doesn't know." "tell her why HéIène's here." "Don't torture yourself." "Robert, go find HéIène!" "Before it's too late." "Then everything will be the way it used to be again." "Right now!" "Ok, I'II go." "Right now!" "Now, it'II be too late!" "Now, she's in danger!" "I'm going." "But now you must sleep." "Maryse will give you a pill." "You haven't slept." "I know." "You need to sleep." "Promise?" "I'II sleep if you go." "It's impossible." "You don't believe me." "I didn'tjust show up here by accident." "She was living in this trailer." "HéIène was sailing to Boston." "She stopped in Matane for fuel on June 28 and vanished." "We searched for weeks, you remember?" "With volunteers." "charles and Anne-Marie were there." "The morning we planned to stop looking, we found the ashes." "Someone had burned her." "If you say so." "But it could be a trick..." "Someone else's ashes." "It was her, they analyzed the DNA." "DNA can be faked, Maryse." "Like anything else." "Mike made it look like she's dead." "He burned the body of a stripper." "He fooled people with HéIène's hair." "You're all mixed up." "One of the volunteers was a stripper, that part is true." "But she found the ashes." "I lived next door." "Did I make that up too?" "I rented this trailer." "Maybe you just stayed here without permission." "What about my friend solo?" "Have you tried to find him?" "He'II tell you it's true." "And the yacht broker saw me with him." "You were alone." "No, he didn't remember." "And the ziploc bag he found?" "Yes." "He mentioned a ziploc bag with stuff in it." "He remembered a bag of pot." "There was also a CD with files on a criminal who's hiding from some pals he'd turned in." "He was the dad of the kid here, gabriel." "Why would I make that up?" "HéIène worked with convicts, maybe you found a file of hers." "Maryse!" "Where did all these people go?" "I saw it on the computer." "I can't have made it up." "Yes, you can." "MATANE STRIPPER FINDS BURNED BODY" "camille!" "Leave me alone!" "Ashes aren't meant to be kept at home." "I don't want to talk about it!" "We should've done this long ago!" "Get out." "No." "We said we'd do it, we'II do it!" "This was her lake." "She loved it." "I can't." "I can't." "She's my mother, I decide." "You should take your messages." "Why?" "You're the only one who calls." "You could make an effort with your hair." "You're so pretty when you try." "You're pale." "Are you eating?" "Yes." "Do you take your pills?" "That's all I do." "reality is such a turn-on!" "You're playing violin, that's good." "Your life will have more meaning." "My life will have meaning when her death does." "Shit!" "And the flashlight batteries are dead." "Don't get up, I'II go buy some." "I'II be right back." "See you here in two weeks, Mike P." "PS My daughter can't wait to see you." "We don't get many visitors." "FOR SALE" "Excuse me." "You scared me!" "The Parizeaus?" "The Parizeaus?" "Doesn't ring a bell." "The family who lived here before." "The trailers." "Oh, them." "I hate to disappoint you, but they moved away long ago." "Are you sure?" "I'm looking for their son, gabriel." "Listen, the guy asked me to clean up the place." "We spoke on the phone." "He'II probably call again." "Give me your number." "If he calls, he calls." "If he doesn't, he doesn't." "Two vodkas." "A beer, please." "What are you doing here?" "I'm so glad to see you!" "camille drove me here." "Hi." "I'm happy to meet you." "Are you playing?" "Be right back." "I have to show you something." "I can't leave." "I'm playing a gig." "Come to the trailer." "The trailer we rented." "You remember it, right?" "It's your music I care about." "Too bad about your mom, but you shouldn't have stopped playing." "You have to help me find her." "You'II tell the cops what you saw." "You talked to her." "Look at me." "I have two artificial arms." "My feet are going numb." "I pretend." "I can pull that off." "But my music's gone, it's your fault." "Your cell's ringing." "You should get some rest." "You're talking to yourself." "I know, I sometimes do that." "Don't you?" "hello?" "Camille Dubois?" "Yeah." "lt's Gabriel." "If you're looking for my boy, he won't come." "Does anyone know you're here?" "No." "Your mom..." "I killed her." "Many people want to see me dead." "Besides my probation officers, only your mother knew where I Iive." "And she screwed us!" "I'm not finished!" "She was coming to write a report on me." "She arrived in Matane with a guy who wanted me dead." "I realized she'd framed me." "I iced'em both." "I had no choice, it was them or me." "Now you know." "Get in my truck, we'II go see the cops." "I'm talking to you." "Get in my truck!" "I don't want to!" "Hurry up!" "hold it!" "Get in the truck!" "Don't listen, he's lying!" "Say one word and I kill her." "If you want to kill someone, do it!" "She got all her answers, now beat it!" "Your mom was my mistake." "Shut up!" "She was coming to write a book about us." "These are her notes." "He's lying, your mother doubIecrossed us." "My dad respected your mom, his shrink from jail." "She called from Matane, she was being tailed." "Shut up!" "A guy dad stooIed, who wanted him dead." "She was supposed to let him taiI her until we could whack him." "The bastard!" "He forced her into the woods to get her to talk." "If you don't go, I'II shoot her." "Go ahead, shoot!" "You wanna shoot?" "Shoot me here, don't miss." "I've nothing to lose." "Let me go down." "So we followed the guy." "He was beating her up." "It was dark in the woods." "I stepped on a branch and it cracked, loud." "The guy turned around." "He aimed his gun at my dad." "I shot before he could, fuck!" "Your mom was next to him." "It was an accident, I swear." "I killed her." "Her too." "No..." "You won't wind up in jail." "You little fuck!" "Step aside." "She knows too much, she has to die." "call the cops, I don't care." "If anyone's gonna pay, it's me." "Beat it." "Take your stuff and run." "I'II never be able to live without you, Mom." "You know that." "I can't help you anymore." "Not so fast, Mom." "Are you going?" "Where you going?" "What happened to you in florence happened to me in India." "Don't change the subject." "I was facing something so much vaster than me, so different from everything I'd known." "I no Ionger knew who I was." "I was gone." "Why are you telling me?" "It's not easy being where you should be at the very moment when you should be there." "It's not easy for you being here." "Right here." "Mom..." "Can't you see that I'm here?" "Don't go." "Look at me!" "I'm here." "If you were really here, I wouldn't be." "Stop." "Stop it, you're scaring me." "Making up stories is fun." "But reality has nothing to do with this." "It's my fault." "You were everything to me." "I wanted you all to myself." "No, I liked that." "I always liked being with you, Mom." "That time is over, camille." "You have to let me go." "Go where?" "Where?" "You know." "You're acting strange." "Don't stare, you scaring me." "It kills me to see you so trapped." "You found the truth." "talk to me." "Don't look for me anywhere but here." "I Iove you, camille." "I'II always love you." "When you decide to die, you're in the past that made you suffer, in the future that seems to have no way out." "It's hard to be exactly where you're supposed to, at the very moment you should." "But that day, when I felt my end was near, I was there, right there." "I understood what she'd told me." "Life was there, stronger than me." "It left me billions of allies, all very alive." "There was Robert," "Anne-Marie, Charles, and my memories with her." "And there was music." "And Florence, which we'd sworn to visit together." "There was so much life behind those inanimate masterpieces, so much beauty emanating from the past," "I was overwhelmed with awe for those who'd gone before." "Everything had been built stone by stone, painting by painting, by humans who'd only passed through." "I felt dizzy imagining everything that others would in turn leave behind." "And I understood that every second left to me would be dangerously real," "even without her." "translation:" "Robert Gray, Kinograph" "DVD subtitling:" "CNST, montreal"