"Stop." "This is coming down." "What?" "Why?" "No, I love the idea of the mirror on the ceiling, but that's just ugly." "But the thing is, you look beautiful in it." "Now, see, if we're gonna take it down, we gotta at least try it out christen the new house." "And what do you suggest we use for a bed?" "We don't need a bed, because we got this fine carpet right here." "So I guess we'll have fine carpet tattoos all over our asses." "Wait, baby, don't you have to go to work?" "I don't want any 30-second nookie." "I told them I'd be late." "Now what?" " What about the movers?" " The movers?" " Yeah." " They're gonna be here in an hour." "Which is just enough time." "Derek." "You are so bad." "Like that isn't why you married me?" "What about Kyle?" "He'll be all right." "That boy will sleep through anything." "Gage Bendix?" "Excuse me?" "I couldn't help but notice we were both going to 22." "Gage Bendix, yeah." "I work there." "I thought that you might." "You have an appointment with us?" "Why, do I look like a client?" "Actually, you do." "Well, well, I hate to shatter the illusion, but I'm a temp." "You're a temp?" "Girl's gotta pay the rent." "I would've never guessed a temp." "Let me help you out." "There you go." "There you go." "Thanks." "I owe you one." " Good morning." " Morning." "Are you following me?" "No, I'm taking these files to Mr. Charles's office." " Derek Charles?" " Yeah, I guess you probably know him." "Yeah, I know who he is and he's an asshole." "Takes himself way too seriously." "But don't tell him I said that, okay?" " I could get you in trouble?" " Oh, yeah." "Big trouble." "My lips are sealed." " Patrick." " Good morning, Derek." " Hey." " How's the new house?" "Chaos, man, chaos." "I got out just as the movers showed up." "Sharon must have loved that." "Yeah, if she calls mad, you tell her I'm in a meeting." "Hey." "Remember who used to sit at this desk, huh?" "She'll know I'm lying." "Can I help you?" "That's Derek Charles?" "Yes." "Better watch out, girl, he's married." " The good ones are always married." " Right." "Or straight." "Did you talk to our German friend, Herr Ganz?" "Actually, I just got off the phone with him." " And?" " He doesn't like the way the stock market's gyrating, thinks the hedge-fund wave is about to crest." " You think he's right?" " No, no." "I don't think he's right." "He's wrong." "You know Ganz." "He gets paranoid when anything goes mainstream." "So he makes a lot of noise but I managed to talk him into a private-equity portfolio instead." "To the tune of 155 million." "I want you to throw Derek your support on this." "I am just honoured to exist in Derek's world." "Whose legs are those?" " Never seen them before." " I think she's a new temp." "I think you mean temptress." "Always nice to have a girl around the office, isn't it?" "Derek married the last eye candy we had, took her off the market." "Yes, sir." "Miss us a little Sharon around here." "I don't think you do." " Patrick, forward my calls." " Will do." " Okay." "Good night, Marge." " Bye, Derek." "D, you cutting out early?" "I grabbed us a couple tickets to the Lakers tonight." "You're killing me." "I'm moving." " I gotta get home." " So?" "So do I look like a man who wants to get a divorce?" "Why don't I call her and say we got a work emergency?" " No, thanks, I'll stay married." " Coward." "Yeah." "Goodbye, Mr. Charles." " You punked me." " I'm sorry, but you set me up." "I'll get my revenge." "You might like to know that everybody disagrees with you." " About what?" "About Derek Charles being an asshole." "They say he's the nicest guy in the firm." "Yeah, well, I've got them fooled." "I'm Lisa, by the way." "Hey, Lisa By The Way." "Good luck at your next job." "Hold the door, please." "They're keeping me on for a few more days so I might see you on Monday." "Sharon!" "Your turn." "No, I think it's your turn!" "Don't even try it." "It's definitely your turn." "Looks like I'm stuck, huh?" "Huh, Kyle?" "Come here." "Oh, my God." "What is your mom feeding you?" "What do you think about giving that magic mirror another test drive?" "Sharon, you're so bad." "Like that's not why you married me." " Morning, Marge." " Morning, Derek." "Hi." "Remember me?" "Lisa By The Way, right?" "Very good, I'm impressed." "Hey, Marge, where's Patrick?" "Out with the flu." "I did some trading with the other temps and I wrangled your desk." "I hope that's okay." "No, that's fine." "Why don't you grab a pad and a pen, follow me?" "Here's a memo for the Christmas party this Friday." " Is it that time already?" " Yeah." "Sit down." "So why don't they invite spouses?" "What?" "To the party." "It says no spouses." "Yeah, it's Joe Gage's rule." "Actually, it's like that at a lot of companies." "I guess they figure you're not gonna kick back and let loose if your spouse is there." "The reason of having the party, right?" " So does this party get pretty wild?" " Oh, not usually." "Well, that's no fun." "I called Patrick." "He said that you like it black with two sugars." "If it's cold, I can go nuke it in the kitchen." "No, actually, it's perfect." "Thank you very much." "Let's get started." " Ready when you are." " It's Monday." " First things first." " Took care of that." "Took care of what?" "On Mondays you always send your wife flowers." "This week you sent her a dozen long-stemmed red roses." "I called to confirm they've been delivered." "Thank you." "So how long have you two been married?" "Three years in March." "And you still send her flowers every week." "Lucky girl." "Yeah, it's kind of a tradition." "Patrick said that you started back when she was your assistant." "You and Patrick had quite a conversation." " Let's run some calls." " Fire away." "Why don't we start with Phil Trendle?" "See if you can get a lunch appointment next week but push for The Water Grill." "I like the fish." " The Water Grill's fantastic." " Terry Mills." " Am I going too fast?" " I'm just waiting on you." "Are you always this efficient?" "Does that surprise you?" "Yeah." "Yeah, most of the temps we get here, they're like..." "I think you'll find I'm not your typical temp." "We were at the grocery store, I look over and Kyle is flirting with the checkout girl." "She's about 16, and he's 2." "He was giving her the same look you give when you see a pretty girl." "I think you've been teaching my baby how to flirt." "Like father, like son." "So, anyway, on the way home, I stopped by campus today and I pick ed up a catalogue for next semester's curriculum." "Let me tell you, I cannot wait." "Do you need me?" "I'm gonna show it to you tonight." "I need your opinion on my courses." "Are you listening to me?" "Baby." "If I bundle Managerial Economics and Operations Management then I won't take Management Information Systems until next semester, right?" "School?" " Derek." " It's like an online degree?" "Come on, baby, not tonight." "You know this is important to me." "Well, it's important to me too but I was kind of hoping you liked being a mom, staying home with Kyle." "You know I love being a mom." "We got all this room." "I make enough money for you and I to..." "It's not about the money." "We had an agreement." "You said that you'd work hard, I'd have the baby, you'd get your promotion." "Then I'd get my degree." " I said that?" " Yes, you did." "You have something to talk about when you get home." "I need some things to talk about." " So Kyle's gonna be an only child?" " Let's get him a puppy." "A female that looks like your side of the family and tell him it's his sister." " Can we call her Little Sharon?" "Hey, Little Sharon." "Come here." "You know exactly who I'm talking about." "You know what, I wanna see you say that in front of her face." "D?" "Why didn't you call me back today?" " What time did you call?" " Around 4." " You should leave a message." " I did leave a message." "Oh, Patrick was sick, and, you know, the temp..." "We had a temp and she said Shannon called but didn't leave a number." "She?" "I thought we had an agreement, no female assistants." "Baby, I don't control temp availability." "Is she pretty?" "Pretty plain." "Actually, you know what, she did a better job than Patrick." "Except for messing up your message." " I want her fired immediately." " Immediately." " I'm serious." " I promise." "Good night, Shannon." "Hope we're not interrupting anything." "No, no, it's a treat to have you here." "I'm taking Kyle to The Grove today to see Santa." "You wanna come?" "Get your picture taken on Santa's lap?" "No, I would, but I'm swamped." "You need me back in the office, don't you?" "Excuse me." "Here's your coffee, freshly nuked." "Hey, Lisa." "This is my wife, Sharon." "Sharon, this is Lisa." "She's temping for Patrick." "It is such a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Charles." " Hi." " Hi." "And this must be Kyle." "I can already tell he's gonna be a heartbreaker." "Hi, Kyle." "I'm Lisa." "Say hi, Kyle." "Oh, he can say hello." "He's usually not this shy around strangers." "What a handsome boy." "He looks just like you." "You think so?" "Most people think he looks like the beautiful Sharon." "Talk about the perfect family." "The three of you should be on the cover of a magazine." "It's a good thing you won't be here too long." "I know my husband can be very demanding." "Actually, I'm learning a lot from your husband." "I bet you are." "Joe Gage needs to see you when you have a moment." "Great." "It's nice to meet you, Sharon." "You too, Liz." " It's Lisa." " Excuse me?" "It's Lisa." "You said Liz." "Sorry." "Lisa." " Sharon." " Wasn't me." "Blame Shannon." " What's the deal with her?" " What do you mean?" ""Looks just like you, Derek. "" "But he is kind of handsome like me." "You said she was plain." "That girl may be a lot, but she ain't plain." "I wouldn't know." "I only have eyes for you." "And you really think that's gonna work?" "Come on." "Take you around the office." "You can see the gang." "I know that you must miss it." " When is Patrick coming back?" " Tomorrow." "You better hope so." "Crudo." "Wow, look at the tree." "Christmas already." " Hey, Stan." " Good morning, Mr. Charles." " I'm back." " Patrick." " Feeling better?" " Yeah, thanks." "You know it's gonna take a lot more than some stomach bug to keep me away from that Christmas party." "Yeah." "Not sure we can say the same for Marge." "You get around, don't you?" "Poor girl called in sick with the stomach bug." "She caught it from Patrick." "That's what she gets for using my lip gloss." "All right, girls." "Behave yourselves out here." "So how many times did you get busted listening in on Derek's calls?" "As if you don't." "I'm way too smooth to ever get caught." " I bet you are." " How long have you been here?" " Ten years in April." " I bet you know more about what happens behind these doors than anybody." "Sweetie, you have no idea." "My nickname around here is 411." "411." "Well, maybe we can grab a cocktail after work sometime." "You can catch me up with girl talk." "If you think you can pump me for information with a couple of Cosmos you're right." "I'm sorry, I thought everyone was at lunch." " I should go." " No." "You stay." "Okay?" "I'm gonna just grab my lunch and head on back to my office." "Okay?" " You okay?" "You wanna talk about it?" " It's nothing." "Nothing?" "You know, most people I know don't cry over nothing." "You think I'm crying?" "This is just allergies." "Oh, allergies, okay." "What are you allergic to?" "Men, apparently." "Can I sit down?" "Yeah." "You having boyfriend troubles right now?" "I'm beginning to think there's something wrong with me." "There's nothing wrong with you." "I wish I could believe that." "Maybe you haven't met the right guy yet." "I'm beginning to think all the good ones are taken." "I'm no expert, but, you know, if it didn't work out then maybe it wasn't meant to be." "Maybe." "And then, you know, you're gonna meet the right guy you'll know immediately." "Is that how it was with you and Sharon?" "Yeah." "Yeah, it does happen." " Great." "Now I'm jealous." " Why?" "She has everything." "Perfect husband, perfect child, perfect marriage." "No." "No, nothing's perfect." "You know, there are problems in every relationship." "The most important thing is to move forward." "You gotta keep moving forward, you know?" "Hey, Lisa, look, don't beat yourself up over this guy." "Look at you, you're a bright, attractive woman." "Any man would be lucky to have you." "Yeah, right." "No." "Honestly, if I were single..." "You're just trying to make me feel better." "Is it working?" "Yes." "Good." "You hang in there, okay?" "It's gonna be just fine." "Thanks, Derek." "Mister..." "Mr. Charles." "I'm sorry, excuse me." " Excuse me." " That's all right." "What was that all about?" "Oh, man, her boyfriend dumped her and I was being nice." "I'll take up that slack." "That is one smoking hot piece of ass." " Stop it, Ben." " Come on." "Like you haven't noticed." "No, dude, I'm not in the game anymore." "I'm retired and coaching, as are you." "I'm still in the game." "I'm just on the bench, waiting to play again." "Careful, D. It's not like the old days where you could get away with office nookie and not get nailed for it." "Careful, D?" "You went and married yours, that's all." "If you're thinking of that girl..." " You saw her first." " You are a fool." "Sadly, I don't think I'm her type." "Now, you, on the other hand..." "All I'm saying is that these single gals see the workplace as their hunting ground." "And I think this one has got you in her cross hairs." "Sharon." "Hey." "I just put him to sleep, baby." "Red?" "Blue?" " Red?" "Blue?" " The red one." " What you doing tonight?" " The usual." "Formula, oatmeal." "How do I look?" " You look all right." " I look all right." "Remember the last time you went to that party and got drunk." "Kyle." "Eat something." "I will." "I'm gonna grab a burger at Jake's." " Okay." "I love you." " Okay." "I love you too." "Fourth quarter, Derek Charles puts it up, three seconds to go." " I love you, baby." " Bye." "Eat something, baby." " This seat taken?" " Yeah." "No, I'm kidding." "Be my guest." " Look at you." " It's a Christmas party." "Oh, yeah." "You look great." "Thank you." "You grabbing a bite before?" "Yeah." "You too?" "Brilliant minds think alike." "Thank you, John." "Still the best burger in town." "Really?" "Hey, John?" "John?" "John." " Can I have one too?" " Fix her up." "The special." " That was delicious." " I told you." "You know, we used to come back here after a hard day's work and cut loose." " Work hard, play hard?" " Yeah." "Back in the day, I would throw them back too." "Hey, how's your boyfriend trouble?" " Keep moving forward, right?" " Exactly." " All right." " So, what's the grand plan, Derek?" "Run the company by 35 jet by 40, retire on my private island and own the Lakers by 50." " I'm a Sixers fan." " I'm sorry to hear that." "I'll bring you around to my team, okay?" " Excuse me?" " Yeah." "Can?" "Can I please have a dirty martini?" "Sure." " You want one?" " No, thanks." "Oh, come on." "Big talker." "No, thanks." " It's Christmas time." "Work's dead." " John, no." " Bring one for my friend." " How dirty do you want it?" "Make it filthy." "This is for you." "Patrick?" "Patrick." "Patrick." "Once again, great job as the head of the decoration committee." " You're like Santa's Little Helper." " Well, I wouldn't let your people do it." "Hey, don't try this at home, huh?" "You'll hurt yourself." "What's up?" "What's going on?" "You look beautiful." "I'll be right back." "I'm coming for you, Derek." " I'm coming for you." " No." "I don't dance." "No, come on, you don't wanna with me." "Okay, okay." "Yeah." "All right." " Is this you, Marge?" " That's me." "Let me get some of that boogie." " Didn't know you could move like that." " Because I'm stuck behind a desk." " Okay, you do have legs under there." " Oh, yes, I do." " All right." "You are smooth." " Smooth, baby, real smooth." " Really smooth." " I'm coming in." "All righty, baby." "He's all yours." " Hey, Office Asshole." " That's Mr. Office Asshole to you." "Tequila?" "Beer, three martinis, and tequila?" "No, I don't think so." "Coward." "Bring it on." "You've got the moves." "That's Soul Train for you, baby." " What you got?" " Wanna see what I got?" " Let's go, let's go." " Bring it." "You got some moves." "Okay, temp." " Nasty, nasty." " Hey." "You know, I wasn't gonna come tonight." "Why not?" "I haven't been here that long and..." "I'm sure everybody here is happy that you showed up." "Even you?" "What do you mean, "even me"?" "I'm your biggest supporter here." "You wanna put one on the cheek?" "If you don't, people will really think something's going on." "Well, we're gonna have to take that chance then, huh?" "Whoa, where you going?" "This evening's just getting started." "Sally Sloane." "We got Sally Sloane." "You remember her?" "She gave us lap dances!" " Sally." " Derek has singles!" " He has singles!" " I gotta go home, sober up." "You wanna get out of here and go find trouble?" " No, thank you." "No, thank you." " Where is your holiday spirit?" "With my wife and kid." "Gotta take a leak, then I'm sneaking out of here, all right?" "You're no fun, D. No fun at all." "Lisa, Lisa." "Hey, hey, hey." "Stop, stop, stop." "Come on, stop, no." "Fuck." "You need to stop it." "Who's there?" "Stop." "Okay." "Okay." "Lisa, Lisa." "Oh, God, Lisa, Lisa." "Stop." "Stop." "Don't do that." "Don't..." "Stop, stop." "Stop." "Lisa, stop." "Stop." "Stop." "Stop it." " What?" "Derek." " What the hell is wrong with you?" "What's wrong?" "Derek!" "If you don't feel like you can drive, I have cab vouchers." "Cab vouchers for anybody who can't drive." "Don't want you hurt." "Come on, don't be shy." "Freak." "Well, well, well." "Living dangerously, aren't we?" "Patrick, you silly old queen." "Dance with me." "Dance with me." "How was it?" "The usual, baby." "Anything interesting happen?" "No." "Good morning." "Hey." "Morning." " Everything okay?" " Yeah." "Man, you should've stayed." "Roger from Acquisitions tossed his cookies on the Christmas tree." "Sorry I missed that." "Bad time?" "No." "Joe wants to know when you'll be done with the Ganz portfolio." "Tell him I'll have it to him by the end of the day." "Thanks." "Sure." "Joe really likes the ladies, huh?" "I wouldn't know." "Hey." "All right if I take off?" " Yeah." "Go home." " All right." "See you tomorrow." "Okay." "Hey, Lisa." "Hey." "I owe you an apology for the Christmas party." "I think that I sort of took you by surprise." "Yeah, you know, we both had a few drinks." "So let's just forget about it." "What if I can't?" "Lisa, nothing happened." "All right, have it your way." "Nothing happened." "All right, get out of my car." "Get out of my car right now." "Get out of my car." "Relax." " Derek, relax." " Come on." "Out of my car." " Get out of here." " No one's around to see us." "God." "I almost went insane today." "Having to pretend like I was concentrating on work, when all I could think about..." "Lisa!" "Get out of my car now!" "Derek, what's wrong?" " What did I do?" " Hey, hey." "I don't know what's wrong, whether you're dense or what but let me tell you something." "There's nothing going on between us." "Nothing!" "Okay?" "I wouldn't jeopardise my job." "For chrissakes, I work here." "Stop!" "Don't touch me." "Just get out." "Get out." "Get out." " Get out!" "Come on!" " God!" " Maybe you are an asshole." " Yeah, all right." "Get out." "Sharon?" "Shar?" "Something I need to tell you." "What's wrong?" "I spent the last hour and a half talking my sister off the ledge." " Sheila?" " Can you believe Tim's been having an affair with some random woman at work for a year and a half?" " How did she find out?" " Tim just blurted it out." "He said he was leaving her." "With three kids." " Yeah, that's tough." " It's a disaster." "If it were me..." "No, that would never be you, because I would never cheat on you." "I know." "Tim is an asshole." "Tell me about it." "So, what were you gonna tell me?" "What?" "You said you had something to tell me." "What is it?" "No." "Just a problem at work." "Nothing I can't handle." "Why didn't you tell me?" "Honestly, there was nothing to tell." "She grabbed your package, flashed you in your car." "Come on." "I thought we were best friends." "I cannot believe you didn't tell me sooner." " Ben, you think this is funny?" " Yes, I do." "I kind of thought maybe she was into you a little." "I just never figured..." "I don't get it." "You know, I..." "Honestly, Ben." ""Hey, how are you?" I didn't..." "I was just being nice." "That's all." "You sure you didn't lead her on?" "Just a little?" " No." "Not a goddamn thing." "Honestly." " That girl is hot." " So, what are you gonna do?" " Report it to Human Resources." "You're gonna get her fired?" " I don't have a choice." " Let's just be careful about this." "What if she says that you came onto her?" "No way." "We're talking history of behaviour here, Derek." "When's the last time you had a female assistant at your desk, huh?" "People are gonna wonder." " Morning, Mr. Charles." " Hey." " Hank back there?" " Go right in." " Hey, Hank." " Derek, hey." " What's up, man?" " Hey." "I have..." "I have a personal matter I gotta talk to you about." "You know Lisa Sheridan, the temp?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "She worked your desk for a while." "Yeah, that's right." "She did." "Hank, this is awkward, okay?" "If you're here to file a complaint about her performance you can save your breath." "Her agency called, said she's not coming back in." "They already sent a replacement." " Oh, yeah?" " Yeah." "They say why?" "No." "Why, was there some sort of problem?" "Problem?" "No." "No problem." "No problem." "I just thought she was way in over her head, that's all." " But if she already quit, then..." " She beat you to it." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah." " Was there anything else?" " No." "Guess not." " How's the new house?" " You know, couldn't be better." " Tell Sharon I said hi." " I will." "Actually, you guys should come by once we settle down." "Come by." " That sounds great." " All right." " See you, Hank." " Bye-bye." " So?" " She quit." " Seriously?" " Yeah." "Do you have a horseshoe up your ass?" "You are the luckiest bastard I know." "Looks that way." "Not a bad early Christmas present." "All right." "Thank you." "Thank you." "I'm getting all these gifts." "Look at this." "Friedrich?" "Hey, it's Derek Charles." "Hey." "How was your Christmas?" "No, mine was great." "I had a great time with my family." "No, I'm in the office working for you right now." "Absolutely." "That's what we do." "That's what we do." "Hey, you take a look at that prospectus for me?" "I told you." "I told you." "Yeah." "No, I think we're gonna have a great New Year." "Baby, it's after 3?" "That's the last time I'm celebrating out on New Years." "Next year, we'll celebrate at home." "Just you, me, and Kyle." "Aren't you gonna get that?" "No." "It'll wait till the morning." "What if it's Ganz with the approval?" "It's noon in Munich." "Go on, lazy." "Ganz?" "No." "What was that?" "Nothing." "I just gotta get a new spam blocker." "And then Joe was like:" ""Oh, we're not drinking." "This is a retreat." "We're gonna stay sober." "Do some bonding. "" "If Joe said that, he must've been drunk at the time." "Right?" "So I'll call you later and check on you and Kyle." "Okay." "Whoa, whoa, whoa, lap dance." "Lap dance." "Who brought up lap dance?" "This is..." "This is a business retreat." "This is work." "We are clocked in." "Unless it was Joe's idea." "Well, it's a brilliant idea, so it must've been mine." "All righty." "Well, then, let's see a show of hands of who wants to see some hot, oily breasts being jammed into their faces?" "Derek, are you in?" "I'm a married man." " I don't have to pay for it." " You're paying." " You just don't know it yet." " Hear, hear." " Excuse me, sir." " What's this?" "A dirty martini." " No, I didn't..." " It's from the lady at the bar." "I do have to say I'm kind of a fan of the waitress staff around here." "We should hit one of those clubs." "Derek, are you okay?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I just thought I saw somebody I know." "Somebody you know, or somebody you'd like to know?" "He can't be tempted." "Can't blame him." "Too scared of Sharon." "Speaking of Sharon, I said I'd call her." "I'll be right back." "Hey." "Hey, babe." "How's the male bonding?" "As you can guess, everybody's wasted." "In about half an hour, I'll be able..." "Derek, are you there?" "Wait, I think Kyle wants to say good night." "Derek, are you still there?" " Babe, I gotta call you right back." " It'll just tak e a second." " Say good night to Daddy." " They're calling for me to come back." " Honey, I'm gonna call you right back." " Derek?" "Derek?" "Was that Sharon?" "I can always tell from the pained look on your face when you've been talking to her." "How did you know I'd be here?" "What's wrong?" "You don't look happy to see me." "I'm not happy to see you." "What are you doing here?" "You said that you would never jeopardise your job." "That's why I quit, so that we could be together." "You misunderstood me." "I'm married, happily married." "There will never be us together, ever." "You're worried what Joe and Ben might think." "I'll tell you what they'll think." "They'll think that we arranged it and we did." "What are you talking about?" "I see what you're doing." "One of us has to take charge, and I guess that's gonna be me." "So you go back and you say your good nights to the boys, and I'll be waiting in my room, 610." "I'm not coming to your room." " You want me to come to yours?" " You're sick." " You need help." " I know." "Help me, Derek." "You stay away from me." " Sharon?" " Sharon?" "It's Ben." "Dude, you done for the night?" "No." "I'm coming back." "Hey, come on, D, it's early." "Let's hit my room, plunder the minibar, charge it to Joe." "No, I, I can't." "That last drink totally kicked my ass, man." "All right, drunky." "Don't forget, 9 am tomorrow, Tiffany Room." "Joe's big rah-rah to the troops." "Yeah, 9 am." "Lightweight." "Out." "Baby." "No." "Does that feel good?" "No." "Hush, baby." "No, please, stop." "Does that feel good?" "Housekeeping." " Sharon?" " Oh, sorry." "Oh, God." "Oh, shit." "Of course, we here at Gage Bendix have a couple advantages over the competition not the least of which is the fact that we are privately held." "We don't worry about the transparency required of public companies." "Thank God, I was thinking of sending out a search party." "I'm sorry." "I overslept." "You overslept." "The second great advantage is that most of our clients are high-net-worth individuals more concerned with preservation of capital than in outsized gains in any single year..." "You all know how to read a bar chart." "What is important here is putting your clients at ease." "One of the things I suggest going forward in this difficult time the credit crunch, whatever you want to call it is that they understand that America is on sale." "Excuse me, sir, your wife is here." " It's Sharon." " What about her?" "She's here." "Excuse me, Joe." "At any rate, I want to make sure that you can go with confidence and say..." "Here's your wife, sir." "I'm sorry I wasn't there when you woke up." "I went to the spa." "What are you doing?" "I thought you'd need an excuse to get out of there." " You wanna get some lunch?" " Lunch?" "Yeah, it's gorgeous outside." "I made a reservation..." "Hey." "What do you think this is?" "The morning after." "We didn't do anything last night." "You don't remember?" " Last night was perfect." " Nothing happened!" "Baby, not so loud." "It'll cause a scene." "A scene?" "Right." "That's exactly what we need." " What are you doing?" " I wanna give you a scene." "I'll take you into Joe and the rest so you can tell them all that..." " Why ruin this?" " There is no "this. "" "Don't say that." "Goddamn it, come here." "What's wrong with you?" "Why are you acting like a stranger?" "That is exactly what I am to you, a stranger, somebody you do not know." "Now either you go in there and you tell them your lies, or you leave me the hell alone." "Don't you put this all on me, Derek." "We both knew what we were getting into from the very beginning." "What?" "The first time we met in the elevator." "Our dirty martini." "The Christmas party." "You said that you wished you were single so that we could be together." "No." "No, I did not." " You did!" "You said it!" " No!" "I did not!" "Derek, you said it." "You said it." "If I go in that room and tell them, it'll be the truth." "Is that what you want?" "You want me to tell them the truth?" "Ready when you are." "Hey, hey." "Listen to me!" "What are you doing?" "Hit me." "You can do anything you want to me." "You know what?" "It doesn't matter what you do or what you say or what goes on in that brain because there's never gonna be anything between us, never." "Okay, Lisa?" "Derek." "Derek?" "Derek?" "I realise we went a little long." "I thought some of the questions you raised were worth going over and I apologise for the length of it." "Those of you with tee times, and I have one myself, we will still make..." "Everything okay?" " Top you off." " Thank you." " D?" " Oh, no, no, thanks." "You're not drinking?" "No, not this evening, man." "I'm sticking to the iced tea." "That's a first." " You feeling all right?" " Yeah." "He's just growing up." "Man." "No goddamn way." "Come on." "No." "Hey." "Hey, get up." "Hey." "Lisa." "Come on, get up, get up." "You can't stay here." "Come on." "I'll drag you out of here." "Let's..." "No." "No, no, no." "I need a paramedic up here at 583." "I have a woman in the room." "I think she's overdosed on some sort of prescription pills." "Yeah, yeah." "Hurry!" "Now, please!" "Okay." "Breathe." "Breathe." "Bitch, breathe." " Derek." "What's going on?" " I'll call you." "Hello?" "Hi, Ben." "It's Sharon." "Hi, Sharon, hi." "I'm sorry to disturb you." "I was trying to reach Derek, and he usually calls me by now." "I can't reach him on his cell phone." "I was hoping he might be with you?" "Yeah, there..." "There was a kind of incident." "Is he all right?" "Ben?" "I think he should tell you himself." "Ben, you're scaring me now." "Where is he?" "Excuse me." "Is she okay?" "The doctors are still working on her." "Derek." "Oh, my God." "I've been worried out of my mind." "Are you okay?" "What are you doing here?" "It's okay, it's okay." "I'm good, I'm good." " Where's Kyle?" " Julie is watching him." " What happened?" " Sharon." "Mr. Charles." "How you doing?" "My name is Monica Reese." "I'm the investigating detective." " Detective?" " Yeah." "This is my wife, Sharon." " She just got here." " So you haven't told her?" " What?" " Would you prefer to talk in private?" " In private?" "What's happening, Derek?" " It's okay." "Please, we can talk." "I've gone over the initial statement you gave to the police on the scene." "I just need to clarify a few things, okay?" "Let's sit down." "Detective Reese, 0300 hours, January 15th." "This young woman, Lisa Sheridan, she works in your office?" "Lisa the temp?" "What happened to her?" "Yeah, she tried to hurt herself." "Why?" "What?" "Well, what did she do?" "Mrs. Charles, I'm sorry." "I need to get the story in your husband's own words." "Apparently, so do I." "Mr. Charles, this Lisa Sheridan..." "Yeah, she worked with us two weeks." "What, you've only known her for two weeks?" "Approximately two weeks." "Long enough for her to fantasize that you two were having an affair?" " What?" " No." "No." "She came on to me at the Christmas party and then in the parking garage." "And then she showed up at the retreat at my hotel, and I rejected her." "And when..." "Excuse me." "And when you rejected her she tried to commit suicide, naked, in your bed, in your hotel room." "Wait, wait, wait." "She was naked in your bed, Derek?" " Mrs. Charles." " She was naked in your hotel room?" "Please." " Would you say this affair was..." " There was no affair." "There was no affair." "You're saying she made the thing up in her head with no help from you?" "That is exactly what I'm saying." "Why do you think she'd pick you?" "I don't know." "Maybe I said something that she took the wrong way." " Baby, come on." " Like what?" "Like what?" "What exactly did you say that she took the wrong way, Derek?" " I'm gonna have to ask you to le..." " No, no, she's not going anywhere." "I didn't say anything to her." "I did not lead her on." "You had no idea she'd be at the hotel?" "I don't know how she got in my room." "She told the hotel clerk she was your wife and she wanted to surprise you." " I have nothing to say to you." " Stop, Sharon." " Did you have sex with her?" " No, I did not have sex with her." "Sharon, come on." "I need for you and I not to fall apart right now." " Mr. Charles." "Please." " Hold on." "Just stay here." "Please just stay here." "Look, I don't care if you're doing this girl or not." "I'm not doing this girl, okay?" "Never have." " Okay." " Okay." "Detective?" "It's the doctor." "I'll be right back." "Sharon." "I swear to God this is just a misunderstanding." "A misunderstanding." "A girl tries to kill herself because of you, it's just a misunderstanding?" "You think I'm gonna believe that?" " Do you believe me?" " No, I don't believe you!" " You didn't even call your son back..." " Sharon, listen." "Seems they pumped her out in time." "Probably tomorrow they'll take her out of the ICU and take her up to the fifth floor for psychiatric evaluation." "That's great news." "Okay, thank you." "She was lucid enough to give a name to the doctor in case of emergencies." "You still wanna stick to your story?" "Sharon." "Sharon, you gonna talk to me?" "Thanks, Julie." "I'll call you tomorrow." "Sharon, is everything okay?" "Julie." "Hey, thank you." "Sharon." "Sharon." "Hey." "Sharon." "Can we talk?" "Sharon, I just..." "Now listen, Sharon, all I wanna do..." "What, what, what, Derek?" "What?" "What do you want?" " I just wanna talk to you." " Now you wanna talk." " Sharon, you know me." " No, I don't know you." "I don't know you." "I know the Derek that told me everything." " Oh, come on." " But you?" "I have no idea who you are." "Sharon, I was wrong." "If I hadn't gone to the ER, if I hadn't called Ben would you have even told me?" "What are you, crazy?" "Of course I would have." "Like you told me about the Christmas party, huh?" "Or what about the parking garage?" "Yes, you told me about you being in a parking garage with this woman." "What else haven't you told me, Derek?" "All I'm hearing are things you haven't told me." "I was wrong." "I should've told you the truth from the..." "You should have!" "Why didn't you?" "Because I didn't think it was a big deal in the first place and then I was embarrassed." " How do I say it without looking?" " Guilty?" "Guilty?" "I'm your wife, Derek." "You're supposed to trust me." "You let this happen." "You think I encouraged this?" "Don't give me that innocent bullshit." "I was there at your desk." "I saw you." "I saw how you played games and you played those girls but you never did that to me." "Until now." "What is this?" "Is this about me wanting to go to school?" "God, Sharon, it is not like that." "This woman is sick, okay?" "Nothing happened between..." "Do I ever ask you for anything?" "I don't ask you for anything." "All I asked you was to be honest." " I told you the truth!" " No." " I did." " No, you didn't." " I told you the truth." " No, you didn't." "You lied." "We made a vow on our wedding day that we would tell each other everything." "No matter how ugly or uncomfortable it might be." "I specifically asked you, "Did anything happen at that party?"" "And what did you tell me?" " You said no." " I know." " I don't know what to believe right now." " Okay." "Hey, hey, hey." "I think I need to be alone." "I think I need to be alone." "Stop, stop, stop." "Okay?" "Come on." "Sharon." "Please?" " Sharon, come on." " Get out of my house!" "This is crazy, Sharon!" "Don't you see what's happening?" "Get out of my house." "Nothing happened with this..." "Okay." "You know what?" "You just tell me what you want me to do and that's what I'll do!" "Well, first, I suggest you pack your toothbrush." "Then I want you to get your socks, your shaving kit, your underwear your prophylactics, if you need them, and get out!" " And go where, Sharon?" " To hell." "But until then, I suggest maybe the Four Seasons." "Sharon!" "Miss Sheridan?" "Hey, I'm Monica Reese." "I'm a detective assigned to your case." " Come in." " Thanks." "I'm sorry I'm such a mess." "They won't let me take a shower or wash my hair." "Apparently I'm still on suicide watch." "So you feel like talking about the other night?" "Have you spoken to Derek?" "Yeah." "And he's all right?" "Relatively speaking." "When can I see him?" "Yeah, I don't think that's gonna be possible." " Why?" " Miss, I don't mean to upset you but I don't think Mr. Charles wants to speak to you or continue any kind of contact." "Then why did he send me these?" "He sent you flowers?" "Lilies." "My favourite." "Beautiful." "Yeah." "Miss Sheridan, could you tell me what happened at the hotel?" " Why you were there?" " Didn't Derek tell you?" "Yeah, but I'd really like to get your version." "Well, there's not much to tell." "He asked me to meet him at the hotel." "And you agreed?" "Of course." "And then what happened?" "I think you can guess what we did." "Yeah." "You..." "You slept together." "Yes." "Well, Derek denies it, so..." "He's just trying to protect me." "He's being a gentleman." "Right." "The next day, he told me that his wife wouldn't give him a divorce." "You know the kind of woman that will never let go?" "Yeah." "Then he said that we couldn't see each other." "I overreacted." "I didn't realise at the time that he was just being noble." "Noble?" "What do you mean, "noble"?" "He was thinking about his little boy, Kyle." "What the break-up would do to him." "Lisa." "Can I call you Lisa?" "Yeah." "How would you, you know characterise your relationship with Derek?" " Lovers." " Yeah, I got that." "But I mean, do you really believe he's in love with you?" "I'm not a home wrecker." "Monica, I'm not stealing him away." "Their marriage is over." "I do feel bad about his wife, though." "Well, how so?" "Well, it can't be easy to find out that your husband's in love with someone else." "Right." "I just hope that she doesn't do something stupid." "I don't have to tell you the impact this could have." " Even a whiff of impropriety." " Impropriety." "There is no impropriety!" "This is just a sick fantasy from a very disturbed girl." "Who might retaliate with a sexual harassment lawsuit." "I was the one who was sexually harassed." "I can't believe this is happening to me." "This is like a nightmare." "By now you're probably wishing you had banged her." "Goddamn it, Joe!" "Derek, calm down." "I believe you, and I'll back you all the way on this." "If we find out there was something going on..." "That's not gonna happen." "There's nothing." "Good." "Then you've got nothing to worry about." " I'm putting Ben on the Ganz account." " No." "Ganz is my client..." " Look..." " No, Joe." "I'm not losing my client over this." "Take a little time off, just until this blows over." "Focus on Sharon." "Oh, Jesus." "I'm sorry to interrupt." "Derek, there's a Detective Reese here to see you." "Come on." "You think I sent her flowers?" "My assistant has all my personal information in his computer." "She must have accessed them when she temped for me." "This is Lisa's journal." "It's a sort of diary, I guess that she was keeping." " Okay." "It's a rather graphic and detailed account of your various sexual liaisons together." " My what?" " I have to warn you, it's..." ""We... "" "This is bullshit." "None of this happened." "I've never been to her apartment." "I've never touched her." "Well, according to these entries, you are quite the accomplished lover." "Oh, and apparently, you made some promises to her." "Promises to divorce your wife and..." "Okay, detective." "You seem smart." "You can't possibly believe that." "Look, the only thing that matters is that she believes this." "So there has to be something I can do to protect myself, right?" "My family?" "Sure." "You could file a restraining order." "Let's do that." " But that might not be necessary." " Why not?" "Because Lisa's sister flew down from San Francisco and took Lisa back with her earlier today." "I can't say I'm unhappy to hear that." "Maybe now she'll get the help that she needs." "You ready?" "Let's go for it." " Hey." " Kyle." "Hey, baby." "It's my birthday next week." "Happy birthday." "Sharon, are you gonna make me spend my birthday alone?" "Have dinner with me?" "Come on, Sharon." "Move your foot, Derek." "What do you think?" "Be honest." "Derek, your menu." "Your menu." " Oh, my menu, I'm sorry." " Thank you." "Sharon, this means a lot to me." "I missed you." "And, I don't know, there's just so much I wanna tell you." "It's your party, birthday boy." "You look beautiful." "I love you." "Sharon, I just wanna be home." "Okay, it's been three months." "And I'll do whatever it takes to fix this, to make us work again your studies, you and Kyle, I mean you name it, I'll do it." "I got you something." " Should I just?" " No." "Let's see how the rest of the evening goes." "And welcome to "Fact or Fiction. "" "I'm your host, Rod Bak er." "And on today's show, let's welcome back our champion, Bunny!" "Hi." "I'm Sharon's friend, Kate." "You're?" "Samantha." "Mrs. Charles is at dinner." "Sharon told me to drop by." "I have this present for Kyle." "I'm just gonna run it up to him." "Oh, you can't, he's sleeping." "I won't wake him." "Maybe you should come back another time." "But I'm here now." "I..." "I get it, you're just doing your job." "Good." "Do you need me to call Sharon?" "Yeah." "Okay." "Sharon." "Hey, it's Kate." "Where am I?" "I'm at your house, of course." "You told me to drop by." "She forgot." "No, Samantha just wanted me to give you a call." "She was a little bit concerned." "No." "No, no, no." "Don't be upset with her." "No, God, come on, she was just doing her job." "Great." "All right, have an amazing dinner." "Tell Derek I said hi." "Oh, Sharon, hold on." "Do you need to talk to her?" "No, no, I'm fine." "All right, I'll catch up with you in the morning." "Bye, honey." "I'll be back in a sec." "Yeah." "Sharon, you know, I miss you and I love you and I know that you miss me too." "I do miss you, but I don't know if that's enough." "We're not talking about divorce, right?" "I don't come from a family of divorce." "Mom and Dad'll be celebrating their 30th anniversary in three months." "I look at them and I wonder if that can ever be us." "It is us." "It can be us, will be us." "I need you to understand that nothing happened with that girl." "I know I should've been honest with you from the beginning and I wasn't." "And that will never happen again." "But I love you." "I mean, I love you with all my heart, and I love my son too." "I guess Kyle does miss his daddy." "Does Sharon..." "Miss Daddy?" "I will do anything, anything." " Anything?" " You name it." "Oh, I guess the evening's going good." "What about the Benz?" " The Benz." " My Benz?" "I just..." "Oh, yes." "I got that key right here." "You know, it's..." "Missed you." "See you later!" "You too!" "Okay, it works, it works." "Welcome home, baby." "You driving my car." " You guys got back so fast." " Hey." "Any trouble with Kyle?" "No, he was a doll." "But you just missed your friend." " What friend?" " You know, your friend Kate?" "I don't know a Kate." "She was here." "She had something for Kyle." "Oh, my God!" "Where's Kyle?" " His crib." " Somebody was inside the house?" " Yeah." " How long were they here for?" "Just a few minutes." "What's wrong?" "You said it was okay!" "Kyle?" "She took my baby." "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God!" "What happened?" "Tell me." "She said she had something for Kyle and then she left." "She left?" "Kyle's not in his room!" "Call 911!" "Now!" "Kyle?" "Kyle?" "Kyle?" "Son?" "Kyle!" "Oh, Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ." "Kyle, oh." "She couldn't have got far." "She couldn't have got far." "We'll wait for the blood work." "It appears he's fine." "I don't see any reason why you can't take him home." " Thank you, doctor." " Thank you." "Hey." "How's he doing?" "Doctor says he's fine." "Well, I'm not fine." "She was in our house." "And now our son is in a hospital bed." "You said she was in San Francisco." "Why is she back?" "And how did she even know we'd be out?" "Obviously she was watching your house." "We need you to find her." "I will do everything in my power to find her." "One of you better do something about this woman." "Or I will." "So, what am I supposed to do now?" " Buy a gun?" " Please." "We'll have our unit tracking her." "In the meantime, you better beef up your security system." "She could have hurt my son." "My son." "Okay." "You don't wanna go to sleep?" " Kyle." "It's okay, baby." " It's okay." "Oh, no." "Oh, no." "God." "Jesus." "This psycho." "She never left." "Yeah, I need to speak to Detective Reese immediately." "My name, Derek Charles." "Yeah, she knows me." "This is an emergency." "I need to speak to her." "Hi, it's Lisa, sorry you missed me." "Leave me a message after the beep." "You listen to me." "You know exactly who this is." "You came into my house, you touched my child and you think you're crazy?" "I'll show you crazy." "Just try me, bitch!" "You're set." "You ready for me to show you how the system works?" "Definitely." "Simple." "You just punch in your code, now it's armed." "Case of an emergency, this is the panic button." "You touch this, the police are knocking at your door." "There's also one in your master." "Okay, so you packed everything?" "What time you taking off?" "This afternoon after I pick Kyle up from my sister's." " Okay, well, drive safely." " Okay." " I'll be there in the morning." " All right." " Set the alarm." " You don't have to tell me." " I love you." " Love you too." "Bye." "Derek Charles's office." "Patrick." "Lisa?" "Oh, my God, it's been forever." "What, like six months?" "I know." "We've got a lot of gossip to catch up on." "Well, I'm not supposed to talk to you." "I could get fired." "Trust me, you're not getting fired." "What do you mean?" "Derek didn't tell you." "Tell me what?" "He's leaving Sharon." "They're getting a div orce." " A divorce?" " Lik e that's a surprise." "Look, that's not gonna happen, Lisa." "Patrick, come on." "I know what I'm talking about." "Then why are they driving to San Diego for her parents' anniversary?" "Derek's not going." "Yeah, actually, he is." "Sharon's leaving this afternoon, Derek's driving down in the morning." "Lisa?" "Did you hear me?" "Patrick, I have to go." "No, you just called." "My purse." "Joe needs these by 5." " Yeah." "Sharon's on one." " Okay." " Hey." " Hey, baby, I just left the house." " Okay, good." "You set the alarm?" " The ala..." "Oh, God, I forgot." "Don't worry." "I'm gonna get out soon." "I'll do it." "No." "I'm just down the hill." "I'll swing back around, and I'll call you after." "Hey." "Call me back." "Did you not get my message?" "I'm so sorry." "We didn't want you to find out this way." "I knew it would come to this." "I know how hard it must be to have someone fall out of love with you." "I know." "You are completely delusional." "I'm gonna have the cops deal with your crazy ass." " Wait, it doesn't..." " Don't touch me." " We can talk." " I told you, don't touch me!" "Crazy!" "Get off of me!" "You have reached the Charles Residence." "Sharon." "Are you there?" " Derek." " Lisa?" "What are you doing in my house?" "Sharon." "Sharon?" "Derek, I'm gonna call you back." "I need to speak to Detective Reese, right now, please." "Yeah." "No, it's an emergency." "Come here, bitch." "I'm gonna wipe the floor with your little skinny ass." "Oh, you want to hold on?" "You screaming now, huh?" "Come here!" "Didn't I tell you not to come to my house?" "Nobody touches my child." "Come on." "Come here!" "Come on, this what you want?" "Come on." "Come a little closer." "You almost got it, come on." "Come on." "You want some of me?" "You almost got me." "Come on, bitch." "Take my hand." "Come on, take my hand." "I got you." "Come on, come on." "Crazy bitch." "Get off of me." "Oh, God." "Oh, God." "Sharon?" "You all right?" "What happened here?" "I think you know what happened." "Stay here." " Oh, baby." " You okay?" " It's over." " It's over."