" Hey, hon." " Ah, hello, darling." "Why are you cooking?" "We have Kate's birthday dinner tonight." " What birthday dinner?" " I told you last night." "We're taking her out for dinner..." "for her birthday." "You didn't say nothing about a birthday dinner." "When I called you at work, I specifically remember telling you." "Darling, look, right?" "I'm working up a new sauce." "I wouldn't have begun it if I thought we were going out." "Okay, this is what I'm talking about." "This is exactly what happened last month regarding my parents' anniversary." " You only hear what you want to hear." " That's not true, all right?" "And, like last month, you may have thought you mentioned it... but you did not." "Okay, I'm not gonna get into an argument over this, okay?" "I'm gonna take a quick shower, then we gotta get going... 'cause we have a 7:30 dinner reservation... and this is my best friend, and that means a lot to me." "So what am I supposed to do?" "Just throw this in the rubbish?" "Well, you'll put it in the fridge, and we'll have it tomorrow." "Listen, I live in a restaurant, all right?" "It's my one day off, and the last fuckin' thing I wanna do... is go to a restaurant." "So I'm just gonna finish this, and have it for dinner." "You know what's really terrible is..." "I don't even know if I told him or not." "I mean, I think I did." "Maybe I didn't." "Don't you dare let him gaslight you." "He does this shit on purpose." "He didn't want to come tonight 'cause he doesn't like me." "I don't know." "I think it's much bigger than that." "Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm glad he's not here." "Oh, Kate, happy 33rd birthday." "How the hell did that happen so fast?" " Oh" " Oh, my God." " Mmm?" "You are not gonna believe who I think just walked in here." "Turn around really slowly, and tell me if that's who I think it is." "Oh, my God." "I can't believe it." "That's him." "And do you see who's sitting with him?" "What the hell is Brian Callahan hanging out with that drunken fool for?" "Do you think they'd even recognize us?" "Did you catch who was sittin' over there when you walked in?" " No." "Who?" "Right there." "That's Patti and Kate." " Should we go say hello?" " Look, I'm not goin' anywhere." "I'm sure she still hates me, but you should probably go over, don't you think?" " Who are they?" " Ex-girlfriends of ours." "We were... kinda like this." "The four of us were real tight." " You know, everybody" " It was a long time ago." "Back when we were in college." " We were kids." " Like your age." " Are you gonna go over and say hello?" " Absolutely fuckin' not." " Are you?" " No." " You should go over, man." "You should just go say hello." " No." "No, he doesn't need to go over, say hello." "You don't need to go talk to another one of your little conquests." " Aren't you curious?" " Yeah." "But not so much so that I'm gonna give them the satisfaction of walking up and saying hello." " It would be rude if you did not go over and say hello to her." " You know what?" "I'm gonna go say hello." " That's a good idea." "Tell 'em I said hello." " Go for it." "He's coming over here." "How do I look?" " You look great." "Remember, he was in love with you and cried like a baby when you dumped him." " The breakup was mutual, and I cried too." " You still have the upper hand." "Unbelievable." "This is too weird." "So you guys are still friends, or is this just some bizarre coincidence we're all here?" "We were thinking the same thing." "We saw you, and then we spotted that douche bag... sittin' at your table and couldn't believe you're still talking to him." "Nice." "You still got the mouth." "Actually, that douche bag happens to be my lawyer now." " There is no way that moron went to law school." " Fordham." " And he actually passed the bar exam?" " On his third try." " He was probably drunk the first two times." " Been sober for two years now." "He's still a disgusting, dishonest pig." "Why would you hire him to be your lawyer?" "I mean, you're- You're a big, famous writer now." "By the way, I read Day After Day... on the beach." " Loved it." " Close." "Night After Night." "Memorable." "Either way, I think you could do better than him." "Good thing she got over all that anger." "You know, Kate, you guys did break up 12 years ago." "He cheated on me." "Those are deep wounds." "He... is... a... prick." "This has been pleasant." "Nice to talk to you." "Hey, by the way, when are you working on another book?" "Are you-What are you doin' these days?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Actually, well, I'm" " I'm still working on it." "But it's, um" " It's gonna be great." "It's just that I'm doing a lot of, you know, reading now... for research." "It's" " It's about the disconnectedness, but the interconnect-ness." "You know, the lives we lead" "It's, like, about the overlapping but the- the, you know, never really touching... that, you know, we feel, so" "But it should be done by the end of the year." "Sounds great." "I look forward to reading it." " See ya." " See ya." "Oh, my God." "What a fucking retard." ""The"- "and it overlapping, and the"" " What-What is that?" " I have no idea." " You haven't started writing again, have you?" " No." "But I can't- I'm not gonna tell him that." "Look." "Are you kidding me?" "Do you think there's such a thing as a free lunch?" "You date a 25-year-old girl, you're gonna deal with irrational behavior." "Yep." "I'm starting to think she's unstable." "Last week she wanted us to do ecstasy together." "But of course she's unstable." "Her brain is fried." " Move your feet, ladies." " Well, look." "You got bigger things to worry about." " No need to crush it, Murph." "I mean, the book comes out next week, and I spoke to Bob... and he says the..." "gang at Viking sounds worried." " Worried?" "Worried about what?" " What do you mean about what?" "They're worried about sales." "The book is gonna sell." "I'll bet my house in the Hamptons, this book is gonna be a best seller." " I'll take that bet." " Come on, Murph." "No need to hit it so hard." "Jesus." "Look at- You got me all upset." "Look, people want this kind of book." "They need it." "Besides, after giving them six best sellers..." "I think I'm entitled to a little reprieve." "Speaking of the book, what'd you think of the final draft?" "I, uh-You know, I haven't gotten around to it yet." "I" " You've had it for three months, you prick." " I know, but you" "You pay me to read your contracts, not your books, right?" "Besides, you know I prefer a good yarn to the more esoteric stuff." "Sorry." "Yeah, you fall into the "Life's too short to think" category?" "B, I've known you since college, right?" "I mean, I've seen you dressed as a cheerleader... hugging a toilet bowl, puking your guts out." "Therefore, I'm gonna have a tough time taking you seriously." "Jesus Christ." "I'm never gonna live that down." "It was Halloween." " What else was I supposed to go as?" " I don't know." "I just think a cheerleader was an odd choice for somebody, you know, without a vagina." "Where's all the furniture?" "I mean, in the picture in the newspaper, this- this place looked beautiful." "Uh, they moved... and they took their things." "Well, didn't I tell you I don't like the West Village?" "Huh?" "Anyway, uh, what are they askin'?" " Four." " Four?" "Geez." "They're crazy." "Pazzo." "Whoa." "All right, I gotta give you this." "This is some view." "So, uh, tell me." "What's your honest opinion?" "I don't know." "I think it's another beautiful place." "You know, it could be a great home with... great light, great views, great outdoor space." "So, I don't know." "Maybe I'm missing something... but I can't see why you wouldn't be very happy here." "What are you saying here?" "What?" "What?" "What?" " You tryin' to imply something?" "Huh?" " Uh, no." "Ye" "Well, actually, Mr. Sabatini" " Actually, Mr. Sabatini" " Listen." "I don't know what it is." "We have seen every apartment on the market in the past two years... and I know it is hard to make a decision" "I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but I'm starting to think that maybe" "Maybe, just" " I don't know." "How do I put this?" "I think that maybe we're possibly" "I don't know- looking in the wrong price range?" "The wrong price range." "You little" "What" " Do you know who you're talking to here?" "Huh?" "Huh?" "I could buy and sell you 50 times over!" "Do not talk to me about my price range!" "Okay!" "There's no need to scream at me, sir." "If I was you, I'd begin to look for a new line of work." "Hmm." "I would like you to please explain to me- how you think that insulting customers... is an acceptable way of doing business... while you're working for me and representing me and my reputation." " Okay, but you have to understand" " I what?" "I what?" " You have to understand" " No, no." "No, you see, you don't get it, honey." "I don't have to understand anything." "I'm Gilmore." "I'm the big guy." "What you have to do is tell me... that you're sorry... tell me why I shouldn't fire you because you're incompetent... that you were having a bad day, and that you'll never do it again." "Okay, but Mr. Gilmore, whenever I take Mr. Sabatini..." " to look at a place" " Bright eyes?" "I'm standin' here, and I'm waiting for "I'm sorry."" " I'm sorry." " And?" " And it won't happen again, because I was having a bad day." " Very good." " This is Chazz." "Leave a message." " Chazz, it's me again." "I'm worried." "It's almost 3:00." "Where are you?" "This is crazy." "Call me." "Call me." "Call me." " Yeah." " Yo, it's the Murph." "I got the papers." "You sure you want to hear this?" "Why does it have to be them?" "I read that paper." "Everyone reads that paper." "Why can't it be the Village Voice?" "Well, these fuckers don't like it much either." "Do you realize that everyone we know is sitting around right now, just like this" "Having breakfast, drinkin' coffee, eating bagels, reading this goddamn review?" "Then why do you give a shit all of a sudden?" "Since when did you care about reviews?" "Because I've never tried to write a real novel before." "Do you understand that?" "This is different." "This- This is my baby." "This is, you know, literature." "This could be the next great American novel." "This could put me in the company of Mailers and Roths and Bellows." "The other stuff- Come on." "It's just fluff." "It's just detective novels." "This is supposed to be more." "Look, and it is more, man, regardless of what the critics say." " You didn't even read it." " Maybe you could take that as a testament to how good it is." "You know I have lowbrow taste." "I'm the guy who fell asleep during American Beauty." "All right?" "Missed the whole floating plastic bag thing." " Read it please, Bernie." " "Doctor Feel-bad."" "Oh, fuck." "That's their witty play on my title?" "That's-That's what the brilliant minds over there could come up with?" ""To readers accustomed to cracking the pages of a Brian Callahan novel..." ""and finding the hard-boiled, tough-talking N.Y.P.D. detective Frank Knight... solving another gruesome crime, they are to be disappointed."" "And all of a sudden they like the Frank Knight books." ""Instead, they will find Mr. Callahan..." ""attempting something he hasn't tried before- serious literature- and failing."" "Well, they just don't get it." "Clearly, they-They do not get it." ""Gone are the page-turning plots and colorful street talk of New York's finest..." ""and instead we meet the clueless and selfish misogynist, Dr. Aaron Luvin- a thinly disguised version of the author's own lady-killer reputation"?" "Are you kidding me?" "They gotta bring up my personal life in a- in a serious critique such as this?" "You said the book wasn't about you." "Well, it's not about me." "It's" " It's fiction." "You're an asshole!" "God!" "Look, at least you found out she can read, right?" "I gotta admit, man." "I" " I thought I was immune to reviews." "But this- this- This does not feel good." "Look, man, of course it's gonna hurt." "You poured your heart and soul into that book." "I mean, you really give a shit what the critics say?" "You know what you did." " What did I do?" " You finally had the courage... to sit down and write the book you've been talkin' about writing for years, okay?" "That takes balls, man." "Continue, please." ""The Good Doctor is anything but that." ""It is sad, dull, dreary and a bore." ""It's time for Mr. Callahan to go back to writing pulp... and put his dreams of literature to rest."" " What are you doin', sweetheart?" " I was just putting this away, and I was gonna go" "No, no, no." "I-I just want you to tell me exactly what it is you were about to do." "I was gonna go preview some new listings?" " Get a head start?" " Can I, uh, give you a little tutorial here?" "In other words, can I impart some wisdom on you here?" " No, no." "It's okay." "I know what to do." " No, no." "No, I" "I wanna do this." "You see, what we have here is the Big Apple." "Now, understand, I'm speaking in metaphors." "Are-You do know what a metaphor is, don't you, cupcake?" "Yeah." "That little apple represents the Big Apple." "Yeah, that's right." "If you would just keep your cake hole shut for one second... you might learn a little somethin' here." "You see, people wanna live in the Big Apple." "They wanna buy real estate in the Big Apple." "And that's what we do here at Gilmore." "We sell real estate." "In other words, people" "They wanna take a bite outta the Big Apple." "And what we do" " We sell those bites." "That's what we do here." "Ha capito?" "Now, what I want you to do is to get your nose out of that book... your ass out of that chair... and go out and sell some fuckin' apartments." "Okay." "Big Apple." "Take as much time as you want." "Buzz me when you need me." "Thank you." "Buzz me when you need me." "Hello?" "Excuse me." "Hello?" " Uh, hey." " And, uh, who are you?" "I'm Patti." "I'm with Gilmore Realty." "I'm here doing a preview." "Really?" "I thought we had an exclusive on this property." "Not to my understanding." "Oh, my gosh." " You gotta be kidding me." " Look at you." " Aw, Murph." " Twice in one month." " Lookin' gorgeous, huh?" "Aw, thanks." "Sorry we didn't really talk." " Yeah, Brian told me Kate was in rare form that night." " Yeah." "You know how that gets." " So what's the deal?" "You selling' real estate now?" " Yeah." "Yeah, you know, helps pay the bills while I'm working on my new novel." "Well, you know, I loved the first one." "Although, I gotta tell you, I did not take too kindly... to your representation of the Murph." "Yeah, sorry." "Sorry about that." "I tried to mask that as best I could." "Yeah, hardly." "So look." "What do you, uh-You mind maybe just stickin' around for a little bit?" " We could catch up." " Yeah, sure." "Yep." "Right here." "Stick." "So Monroe, talk to me." "What are we lookin' at here?" "Okay." "Okay." "Terrific light, up-and-coming neighborhood... really terrific old French country antiques, and the neighborhood is growing." "There is a Starbucks on the corner." " Just needs a little bit of work." " I'd say it needs more than a little bit." "Well, uh, Mr. Murphy, I did tell you that it requires a little refurbishing." "It's a, uh, handyman special." " Oh, and I look like a handyman to you?" " Obviously, I didn't mean you." "Monroe, come on." "I'm just breakin' your balls." "I'm just" " I'm in shock." "This is what you get for two million dollars, huh?" "It breaks my heart." "Did I ever tell you about the apartment I had on the Upper West Side?" "Got it in the mid-'90s for a song?" "Now the ex-wife has it, so that's two bad investments." "You know, uh, with the right kind of vision, this could be a very special home." "The neighborhood is changing." "Why don't we have a, uh- a talk?" "Told you it was an exclusive." "So look, I got- I got some bad news, Monroe." "I went to college with this woman, even dated her best friend, okay?" "So I'm thinkin', you and I have had a pretty good run here." "I thought things went well, but, uh, I'm not gonna need your services anymore." "That's really inappropriate, Mr. Murphy." "I work very hard for you." "I know, I know." "But look, she's an old friend." "I" " I gotta do this." " Fuck off." " That's not" " I mean, why would you say that?" " Why would you say that?" " Fuck off!" "So, Patti" "I just had to, uh, let Monroe go." "So I'm lookin' for new real estate agent." "I thought maybe you might be my girl." "What do you say?" "I would be pleased..." "to help you." "Aw, thanks." "That's great, Murph." "If I had to spend another afternoon with that guy, I was gonna toss him off the roof." "Look at these shitholes that he shows me." "Oh, this could be great." "You could really help end my dry spell." " I haven't had a sale in eight months." " All right, you see?" "This is a good thing- a fortuitous meeting." "She's in real estate?" "How did that happen?" "Look, I don't know, and I was not about to ask." "Yeah, but when we ran into her that night, she said she was workin' on a new novel." "Yeah, well, look." "She hasn't published anything in 10 years, right?" "So she probably just needed the job." "It doesn't make any sense though." "She's a great writer." "She's selling real estate... to you." "Look, you read her shit in the past." "I mean, all that esoteric nonsense." " She probably just can't get published." " What?" "Oh, come on." "See?" "That's" "You are-That is the problem, right there." ""Esoteric nonsense."" "No." "See, where is- Where are the people that want literature?" "Is-Are we, as a society, the type of people that all we want... is pulp and popcorn and the same crap?" " Are we not an ideas culture anymore?" " Ah, Jesus." "Brian, I'm not gonna have the "ideas" conversation with you again, all right?" "Let it rest." "But" " So how was she?" "I mean, is she- is she" " She seem happy?" "No." "Not really." "I ran into Anton this afternoon." "He's, uh, head chef over at Amuse." "He told me someone very special paid a visit to your table the other night." "Oh." "Yeah, Kate and I ran into Brian" "You know, the night you didn't want to have dinner with us." "Because you forgot to tell me about it, but... that's another argument for another time, right?" "So, what did the great Irish scribe have to say for himself?" "Oh, well, not really much of anything." "Kate scared him away pretty quickly." "Oh, and you, uh, just forgot to tell me about it?" "Ah, you know." "Slipped my mind." " Interesting how that happens, hmm?" " How what happens?" "You and I get in a fight, and then you run into your long-lost love?" " What, just a coincidence?" " Yes." "It was just a coincidence." "And he's not my long-lost love." " Did you tell him you were married?" " Um, it didn't come up." "Oh." "That's funny too." " You know, I'm" " I'm sure he saw my ring." " Oh, probably did." "So, what'd you two talk about, hmm?" "Books and writing and your favorite authors and all that shite?" "Are you trying to imply that I did something wrong?" "No." "No, I'm merely making an observation." "No, you know, 'cause you- You're making an accusation." "Did he ask for your phone number?" "No, 'cause he just stopped by to say hello." "And since when are you so jealous?" "If he did, would you have given it to him?" "You know, what the fuck are you doing, Chazz?" "What is this?" "'Cause I don't" " I don't get it." "You know, I am not the one who stays out later than usual." "I am not the one who cancels plans." "I am not the one who thinks that a perfect date night is five hours of Spider-Man." "Oi, come on." "Spider-Man 1 and 2 are great films." "Yeah, if you're 12." "What are you gettin' so upset about, all right?" "Listen." "You went out the other night." "You ran into your ex." "You forgot to tell me, and I wanna know why." " And I have every fuckin' right to know." " Because it slipped my mind!" "All right, not good enough, Pat." "What else slipped your fuckin' mind?" "I forgot to tell you that I fucking can't stand you." "Mmm." "Can we please get out of here?" "I need to go." "I've seen enough." " What are you talkin' about?" "We're here for you, aren't we?" " And I've seen all I need to see." "There's no way these jack-offs are gonna get signed by my label." "I'll tell you, Bernie." "I like this guy a lot." "He's got a bit of the Steve Perry thing goin' with those high notes." " Give these guys another listen." "Murph might be onto something." " Wrong demographic, grandpa." "I'm done!" "All right." "Listen up." "I got huge news." "You're finally gonna shave those armpits?" " Does my natural femininity bother you?" " No." "No, not at all." "Just when I'm eating or breathing or drinking." " Come on." "It's disgusting." "Just take care of that." " Why are you still here?" "I know." "It's because you're always here." " Because we never go anywhere without you." "But guess what, funnyman?" " Eh." "That's all about to change." "So you're finally gonna break up with this guy and come over to the Murph?" "Give me the word." "I'll throw you a Murph anytime you want." "Ugh!" "No." "We're moving to Seattle." "I got the job!" " I'm" " I'm what?" "Se-What?" " Yeah." "What job?" "What?" "Wha" " Don't act like this is the first you're hearing of this." "I told you months ago." "They're" "They're, like, just the coolest indie label... and they want me to head their West Coast A  R office." "See?" "There's a reason I knew that guy sucked tonight." " And you two middle-aged dorks thought he was cool." " Whoa." "Thirty-three is hardly- hardly- middle-aged." " Hardly." " Hey, I'm sorry, rewind." "Uh, this job is in Seattle?" " Yeah." " Same Seattle that's in Washington." " Same Washington that's on the other side of the country?" " Yeah." "Yes." "Yes." "You're gonna love it." "It's so beautiful." "Tons of nature." "Yeah, it's also got the highest suicide rate in North America" "Even more than Ithaca, New York, where the kids always jump off the bridge." " Ivy League kids." "They're" " You know, I heard that." " It does not." " No, I" " I heard that too." " You just make shit up." " No, it's true." "I heard that." "It's, uh" " It's because it rains every day." " Every day it's rainy." "When it's not rainy, it's foggy." " No, it is not." "This is such" "That is not true." "It does not rain." "It" "It rains a little, but not every day, and it- What do you care?" "Anyway, I can't even get you to leave the apartment." "You never even go to Central Park." "What are you talking about?" "I love the outdoors." "I just don't go to Central Park 'cause it upsets me to see grown men on Rollerblades." "And why do those guys always have to wear the tight shorts?" " Oh, my God." "Yeah, what was that?" "Were you just trying to show off for Murph... or do you really not want to go to Seattle?" "I just don't think that Seattle is the best place for me to write." "Why?" "What's the difference?" "I mean, a change of locale might do you a little good." " What's that supposed to mean?" " I'm just saying, for you, as an artist... it might be good to mix it up." "I'm a New Yorker, all right?" "I write about New York." "It's where I live." "If I don't write about New York, what am I gonna write about?" " Seattle." "Write about Seattle." " Ah." "Of course." "I'm sure there's plenty of interesting people in Seattle." "The greatest guitar player of all time, Jimi Hendrix... was from Seattle." "Fitzgerald." ""The city seen from the Queensboro Bridge..." ""is always the city seen for the first time... in its first wild promise of all the mystery and the beauty in the world."" "You ever read anything like that about the Space Needle?" "I'm pretty sure Kurt Cobain wrote something as lyrical about Seattle." "Hey, no knock on Kurt Cobain, but "Smells Like Teen Spirit"" "It's got nothin' on The Great Gatsby." "What the fuck song is that?" "Look, it was second semester, senior year." "Everybody was lookin' for that last hookup." " Besides, I was 21 years old." "Twenty-one!" "You're still a boy" " Okay, I get it." "But she still thinks you slept with that girl, Murph." "Look, I admit, we shared a cab home... we messed around a little bit, but I did not sleep with her." "I swear to God." "Okay, so why is it so important now, after all these years, that you apologize?" "Well, first of all, it's part of my A.A. program, all right?" "And secondly, and more importantly... she didn't give me the opportunity to back then." "She refused to talk to me." "She wouldn't return any of my phone calls." "Okay, well, can you blame her?" "She trusted you." "No, I know." "I don't blame her, but that's why I want to apologize today." " Look, give me her cell phone." "Let me call" " No, I can't do that, Murph." "Why not, Patti?" "I just wanna say I'm sorry." " Okay." "Okay, I'll give you her number." " All right." "Anyway, what are they, uh- what are they askin' for this place?" "Three-five." "But you'd obviously have to build it out." " And what kind of square footage is it?" " Five." " Jesus." " Big." "You know, it's weird." "I went out with that other real estate guy, Monroe, for six months." "All he showed me was dog shit." "First place you take me to is phenomenal." " I mean, this is an apartment." "I could live here." " Yeah, it's great." "You know what?" "I'm gonna take it." "Let's just do it." "I mean, am I ever gonna find a place this good?" "No." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "Thank you." "This place is gorgeous." "You know what I'm gonna do?" "I'm gonna put a tennis court right there." " Dude, your name didn't come up." "I mean" " It" "I'm sorry, but, just, you know, it didn't come up." "The entire time?" "Look, she was there to show me apartments, sell me an apartment... and then we started talkin' about Kate, all right?" "I don't know why you didn't come up." "It just didn't come up, you know?" "Besides, I'm here to ask your advice about Kate." "I mean, like" "Oh" " Oh." "You want advice." "Well, pick up the phone and call her." " What do you think I should say?" " Oh, come on." "Take your fucking skirt off and call her." "You're ridiculous." " Hello." " Hey, Kate." " It's, uh, the Murph." " What the hell are you doing calling me?" "Well, look." "I, um- I got your number from Patti." "You know, we're workin' together now." "And, uh, I just-You know, I was hopin' we could maybe get together to talk." "I-I would" " I'd like to extend, um, an olive branch, if you will." "Why don't you take your olive branch, and ram it up your ass?" "Okay." "Nice." " Good?" "Sounded good." " Uh, yeah." "Yeah, it was a lot of fun." "She was really..." "just a sweetheart." "Kate, he said he wanted to apologize." "He can apologize all he wants." "There are some sins that are unforgivable." "Okay, they shared a cab home." "That doesn't mean that anything happened." "Oh, please." "A dirty whore gets into your cab... after you just were making out in a bar." "I'm sorry, but he's not looking to save some bucks on cab fare." " He's lookin' to get laid." " Okay, he told you it was just a kiss." "Well, yeah." "Big deal." "He also lied to me about the whole thing to begin with." "Why wouldn't he lie about closing the deal?" "Well, I still think you should just sit down and talk with him, you know?" "He seemed pretty genuine the other day, Kate." "You know what'll happen if I see him?" "First, I'll get mad." "Then I'll just get sad." "And you know what?" "I don't wanna be sad, 'cause being sad sucks." "Chazz?" "Oh, yeah." "Shit." "Yes." "Lick your fingers." "Nice." "Rub it." "Oh, it's up there, baby." "Just pinch your nipple." "Yeah, rub it up and down nice and slow." "Oh, that-Yeah." "Oh, yeah." "Don't stop." "Don't fucking stop." "I" "Oh." "Don't stop." "Oh, yeah." "Don't stop." "Don't stop it." "Don't stop it." "Fucking" "You're fucking disgusting, you know that?" "Oh, Pat, please." "Patti" "It's not what you think." "Darling, it was a" " It's a 900 number." " Oh, I feel so much better." " Please." "Please, Patti." "And wash your hands before you come in here, you fucking pig!" "Pat, come on." "Look, you can scream all you want... but I'm not entirely to blame, all right?" "Excuse me?" "Come on, you must have seen the signs." "You were jerking off in our living room." "I don't know what signs to look for for that." "When was the last time we made love?" " Sunday, you asshole." " Come on, Patti." "Please." "Please?" "How could you forget that I'm leaving for Seattle today?" "I just lost track of time." "I've been writing all night." "I just got into a zone." "I couldn't stop." " Answer the question." " What?" "Did you forget I was leaving today?" "I did, then I apologized." "But it's only for a couple of days, right?" " Isn't it just a little meet and greet?" " Um, no, actually." "It's a little more than that." "I have to go out there and impress these people." " And there's an enormous amount of pressure on me." "But no." " Okay." "You don't care." "There's no "Good luck, Bernie."" " Here you go." "Thank you." " "Knock 'em dead, baby." Nothing like that." "To say nothing of finding us a place to live..." " which, by the way, would have been nice" " A place to- for you to come with me and help me find a place so we could be there together." " But no." " Why are you looking for a place already?" " You're just" " Isn't that a little early?" " I start in two months!" "God!" "Can't fuckin' believe it." "Don't you listen to a goddamn word I say?" "Are you too consumed with your stupid fictional characters in your head?" "Can't concentrate on the real world." "Always, you know, stuck in Brian's make-believe world?" "If you're done screaming, I'm gonna go back upstairs and go to work." "Yeah." "Go." "Get back to work." "Go write another piece of shit like the last one!" "You know what?" "No, you don't understand." "This was legendary." "I mean, you know, by this point, I'm used to the usual barrage of insults and screaming... but then she calls my book a piece of shit." "And that" " I don't know, for me, that's- that's unforgivable." "Look, what are you worried about?" "She's an imbecile." " All of a sudden you're gonna pay attention to her opinion?" " It's everybody's opinion." " Look, you got a handful of bad reviews, that's it." " God." " Did you find one critic that liked it?" " Uh, no." "You know what?" "You're gonna go to your book signing tomorrow, all right?" "And you're gonna see your fans, the people that matter." "They're gonna love this book." " You really think so?" " I do." "Absolutely." "I'm, uh, very sorry, sir." "We were really expecting a bigger turnout." "Are you serious?" "Yeah, I think it had a little something to do with that review." "I loved the book." "I really thought it was great." "Um" "But, uh, if you want to, we could wait a half an hour just to let the crowd fill in." " You know, let's just get started, okay?" " Okay." "Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the author..." "Brian Callahan, of The Good Doctor." " Hi, Brian." " Hi, Annette." "Long Cool Night." " I've read it five times." " Is that right?" "Um, actually, today I'm only signing the new book." "I'm not gonna sign any of the old ones." "I know, but it's just- This one is my favorite." " Is she me?" " No." "It's still not you." "Yeah." "It's good to see you." "See what you spawned, man?" "First and best, in my humble opinion, and I've read 'em all, man... since seventh grade." " Planning on reading the new one?" " I don't know." "I don't know." "Looks kinda serious, right?" "Doctors, and... they're good, and" " I don't know." " Serious isn't bad." " Yeah?" " You should try it." "Young man like yourself" " You might learn something." " Yeah." "Yeah, maybe I will." " Great." " Yeah." "Cool." "Will you sign that?" "You're gonna sign that one though, too, right?" "Yeah?" "Yeah." "And the movie poster?" "Sure." " Loved your cameo, by the way." " Oh, yeah?" " "Knight, you're a menace." That was you, right?" " Hey, you remember that line." "Hope you don't mind." "Uh, I'm a big fan." "Got 'em all." "Whoa-ho-ho." "Uh-oh." "I don't see The Good Doctor in there." " Yeah, I didn't read that one." " Well, hey, today's your lucky day." "Maybe you can, uh, pick up a copy today." "Maybe it'll inspire you." "Is it any good?" "I heard it was kinda different- A little... soft." "It's very good." "I'm very proud of it." " It's my favorite." " What's it about?" "It's about a man and his personal struggle to rise up from mediocrity." "Oh." "Okay." "Um, will you just sign these, though, first?" "Okay." "You know what?" "Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to make a little announcement." "Thank you so much for coming." "It's great to see so many familiar fans of all the Frank Knight stories." "And as much as I've loved Frank and his escapades... uh, I have moved on..." "from them and his world." "So today, I will only be signing copies of The Good Doctor." "But the good news is, it's on sale- here, right at this very store." "Uh, so please pick up your copy, and I will sign as many as you buy." "Thank you all so much." "Not cool, man." "Speak for yourself." "I was neither stupid nor drunk." " Ah." "Just confused." " Yes." "And still guilty of that." "You're in your 20s, you think you know everything." "In your 30s, you realize you don't know shit." "Can I sit next to you?" "Um, sure." "Mmm" " Ah, still reading palms?" " It's a gift." "Ah." "See anything different over the past 12 years?" " Wow." "Yes." " A lot." " Mmm." "And you're still not gonna tell me." " No." " Great." "God, can you believe it's been that long?" " Twelve years since college." " Nah, doesn't feel like it with you." "Seems like we could've been sitting here like this the whole time." " Do you remember why we broke up?" " Oh, yeah." " You dumped me." " No!" "No, it was mutual, right?" "I mean, you were going off to school in California- grad school- and I was staying here in New York, right?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "You said we were too young to pull off the long-distance thing." "But I vaguely remember something about, uh... you saying that writers needed to explore the world... and part of that exploration was through a variety of different sexual encounters." " Oh, God." "Did I really say that?" " Yeah, yeah." "Strong." "One of the worst things a boyfriend could ever hear." " You were going through your Dorothy Parker phase." " Oh, God." "I don't blame you." "I would've broken up with me too." "I was really jealous of you." "Jealous of me?" "For what?" "What?" "'Cause you've always been a better writer than me... and at the time, I thought, how could I marry a woman... that would be a constant reminder of my inferior talents?" "But I'm not a better writer than you." "I don't... know if I can even call myself a writer anymore." "I haven't written anything in years." "And you write a new novel every year." "What happened to your, uh, "never connecting, always overlapping" story?" "I lied." "What was I gonna tell you?" "I hadn't written anything in years?" "Well, why not?" "What happened?" "I don't know." "I tried, but, I guess, maybe- maybe I lost my confidence." "I don't know really." "Well, you gotta get it back." "P, the ability to write is not something you lose." "Write anything." "Just" "Start by writing a short story." "It doesn't matter." "Everything you write has always been so honest, so personal." "That's a gift." "Don't lose that." "Come here." "Come on, come on, come on, come on." " You all right?" " Yeah." " Almost took a header." " That's it." "So what do we do?" "We, uh-You wanna get another drink?" "Uh, we" " I don't know." " Put you in a cab" "If I have another drink, I'll be officially drunk." "Always the lightweight." "Come on, come on, come on." "I'm married, Brian." "I got a girlfriend." "Doesn't that suck?" " Wanna hear something embarrassing?" " Shoot." "The night I got engaged, I called you... but your girlfriend- or ex-girlfriend or some chick- picked up... so I hung up." "I can match that." "For years, every time that I traveled..." "I'd write you a postcard." "But I could never get the guts to send one." "Let's get you a cab." "Here you go." "So, will I see you again?" "You missed dinner." "Oh." "Did I?" "It's all right." "I only spent half the day making it." " So where were you?" " I, uh" " I was with Brian Callahan." "Whoa- Excuse me." "You were fucking what?" "I went to his book-signing, and then we had a hamburger together." "Oh, right." "So I spent five hours making us a romantic dinner... and you're off with fucking Brian Callahan?" "Don't try and turn the tables on me." "Okay?" "I had a bite with an old friend." "That's not really a big deal." "However, having phone sex in our living room is a big deal." "Jesus Christ." "You're still fucking on that?" "It was a 900 number, all right?" "Some guys use magazines." "Other guys go online." "I don't see what the fucking problem is." "I guess the fucking problem is that you got caught." "Oh, Jesus Christ." "Don't be so fucking sanctimonious." " You never masturbate?" " Not in my fucking living room." "This isn't working, is it?" " No, it isn't." " I mean, I guess this is it." "It's just, people change and they grow apart... and they get bored with each other." "Fuck off." "Seriously?" " "Get bored with each other"?" " Yeah, right." "Well, if I had a shrink, he'd probably say that's what the phone sex was about." "All right, you want me- You want me to be fucking honest, all right?" "I'm just not attracted to you anymore." "Okay?" "And I know you're not attracted to me." "That's why you're off with Brian Callahan." "Oh, my God." "Would you fucking listen to yourself?" "You are telling your wife that you are not attracted to her and bored." " Thanks for fucking breaking it down, Chazz." " Come on, Pat." "Come on." "The fucking spark's gone, right?" "So?" "There is more to marriage than a spark." " What about love and friendship and support?" " Yeah, right." "Yeah." "Guess what." "There are those things." "Where are they?" "Fucking come on." "I know." "I've tried all those things." "All right?" "I feel that shit, but I can't" "I can't fucking pretend I'm attracted to someone when I'm not." "I know." "I heard you the first time." "Please." "What the fuck are we doing, all right?" "Look." "You're sneaking off with your long-lost love." "I'm fucking rubbing one out in the living room." "It's wrong." "It's not right for the both of us." "I'm sorry, all right, but I think- we should maybe take some time... just time apart, and work- work through this." "I need time." "All right?" "I'll call you tomorrow." "It must be love or something worse" "It must have been something" "Good morning." " Is there something you need from me?" " Yeah." "I need to talk to you." " No, you don't." " Why are you being like this?" " Why won't you just talk to me?" " Probably 'cause I could care less about what you have to say." "Look, I want to apologize, all right?" "You can't do that for me?" "I mean, it would be the respectful thing to do." "Oh, respectful." "Interesting choice of words." " Go fuck yourself." "I'm going to work." " Loser." "Kate." "Kate, come on." "Hey." "Hey!" "Look, I am so sorry for what I did that night." "Okay?" "I mean, if there was any way..." "I could turn back the clock and undo it, I would." "Get this through your thick skull." "I'm not interested." "Come" " Ka" "Whatever." "You did what?" "You-You waited for her outside her school before she went to work?" "Seriously, what else was I supposed to do?" "You know, I called her a couple times, and she called me a douche bag." "I-I just want to apologize." "Oh, that's what this is about." "You just want to apologize." "Yeah." "Hey, I'd just like the opportunity..." " to say I'm sorry, you know?" " Well, of course." "Has nothing to do with the fact that you want to get back together with her" "You know, get another shot at the one who got away." "If it comes to that and she's lookin' to get "Murphed" again, all the better." " Look, you're one to talk." " Nice game, fellas." " Nice ace." " Takin' married women out for hamburgers and cocktails." " Hey, what" " No." "We were just reminiscing." " Reminiscing?" " Yeah." " And that night she and her husband break up?" "Coincidence?" "I think you're guilty." "We were just-We were talking about why she hasn't been writing." "That's all." "I just think it's a big waste of her talents." "You've read her stuff." "You know how good she is." "I mean, I remember freshman year... the first time I read one of her stories." "Holy shit." "I mean, she could really transport you, you know?" "Transport you?" "Whoo!" "You're in it thick, brother." "I mean, no knock on him- or you- but life is too short to spend it writing about lawyers." "Why?" "Because those actually sell?" "Because with those you can actually make a living?" "Look, I know you and Brian want to be these literary giants, but guess what." "Nobody reads that shit anymore." "I mean, think about it." "You're on the train going to work... or you're enjoying your one week's vacation down the shore." "You really wanna suffer through Faulkner?" "Or do you want to kick back with a little John Grisham?" "So I take it you didn't like Brian's book." "Are you kiddin' me?" "I couldn't even finish it." "Bored me to tears." "Why?" "What about you?" "So far, it's very good." "Yeah, but that's not even really the point." "I think it's that he's writing something that matters to him." "I mean, that's- That's why we all do it." "Well, look, he's got a gift, okay?" "He can write a good story, and people like a good story." "What Brian needs to do is he needs to go back... and write another Detective Knight book." "Let me sell the movie rights, and guess what." "We all make a pile of dough." "You know, Murph, it's not all about the money." "All right, Patti." "So, speaking of money... where do you need me to sign this contract?" "I cannot tell you what a lifesaver this is to me." "I'm gonna take this commission, and I'm gonna go back to writing." "Yeah, well, when you have something to publish..." "I don't want you talking to anybody else, okay?" "You come and see me, and I'll put your book in the right hands." " All right?" " Yeah." "Perfect fit." " All right." " All right." "And remember, I want you to come to my party Friday night." "It'll be good for you to get out of the house, enjoy yourself." "Get over the whole separation." " Sure." "Yeah, I will." "Thanks, Murph." " All right." "And remember, you gotta bring cake, okay?" "You owe me one." "I didn't think you had it in you, bright eyes." "Nicely done." "Very nice." "Are you kidding me?" "They love you." "They wanna be in business with you, but what they are expecting... is another Frank Knight book, okay?" "To say nothing of the fact that you already got your advance for it." " I'll give the advance back, if that's what they want." " Is it such a chore?" " It takes you six months to write those things." " It's not about the time." "I'm... interested in other things." " I wanna write about other things." " And you can't do both?" "You ever read A Long Day's Journey into Night?" "Why do you do that to me?" "Do you enjoy making me feel like an idiot?" "Okay." "Sorry." "The father in the play" "Based on O'Neill's own father, all right?" "He had a very long and lucrative career as a stage actor... playing the same role over and over again in The Count of Monte Cristo." "Why?" "'Cause he was good at it, and it made him rich." "But by the end of his life, he realizes that by doing so... it cost him the chance to be a truly great artist." "I don't wanna be that guy." "You're aware you may not make the same kind of money... you've grown accustomed to, all right?" "And getting published- That's gonna be a challenge." "I don't need to remind you whatJ.F.K. said about second acts, do I?" "It was F. Scott Fitzgerald." "Are you gonna break my balls about particulars?" "The point is" "The point is, he said there are no second acts." "I don't believe that, and I don't think you do either." "Or else why would you be throwing this party... for Kate's college friends just to get her to come?" "Hey!" "I'm home!" "Bri-Bri!" " Welcome back." " Hey." "What's up?" "Are we goin' out?" "Uh, actually, I'm heading to Murph's party." " Hey." "Are you mad at me?" " Of course I'm still mad at you." "You called my novel a piece of shit, remember?" "Dude, I was upset." "Come on." "I wanted you to come with me." "I'm gonna make it up to you, okay?" "After Murph's party, I'll take you to that place in Chelsea and we can go dancing." "Bernie, I think we need to talk." "You're not going to do this." "You got a great job waiting for you in Seattle... and I don't want to leave New York." "And I don't think you should let me stand in your way." "That's how you wanna end it?" "After six months, that's how we're gonna end?" "Look, we-We've had fun." " But we're good together, but we're not great." " We're good enough." "You don't look at me and think that I'm the greatest guy... that ever walked the face of the earth." "Don't take this the wrong way, Brian, but you're not." "Yeah, I know." "That's the point." "But you should at least think that I am." "Well, do you think I'm the greatest girl you've ever met?" "No." "No, but I mean, there is somebody out there" "A guy, maybe from Seattle, who's in a band... and loves to do ecstasy and stay out late dancing... and will think you are just the greatest thing that's ever happened to him." " You are such a fucking cock!" " Whoa!" "Don't start the mouth." "Why not?" "After six months you're just dumping me out of the blue?" "Trying to make me feel better by telling me..." "I'll meet some asshole dancer in Seattle?" "You just wanna go off with that writer, the bitch." "Oh, God." "No, this has nothing to do with her." " And she's not a bitch." " Bullshit." " Stop cursing, Bernadette." " Cock!" " Really?" " Cock!" " Please, come on." " Cock!" " You're acting like an idiot." " Cock!" " Oh, my God." "Are you done?" " Cock!" "Okay." "You are such a fucking cock!" "But I love you!" "New York is weird like that." "I still haven't met half the people in my building... but I randomly run into Mark here all over town." "And she still won't sleep with me." "Because I did in college, and I don't need to revisit it." "Yeah, well, that was some time ago... and, uh, you know, things change." " You, uh, might be surprised." " Yeah?" " Mm-hmm." " You got less hair." "That surprised me." " You know, that's funny." "Isn't that funny?" " Don't get me wrong, Brian." "We like the book, and I think we did a fairly good job... of getting it out there in spite of the reviews." "But just think about doing another one of the Detective Knight series." "Then you can go back and do one for you." "One for them, one for you." "What are you talking about?" "One for them, one for" "I've given you five." "How about five for me?" "How's that sound?" "You know, he's a fucking hack." "He's a hack." "I mean, the shit he writes" "No, he actually" " He wrote a good story." "He wrote a good book." " The Good Doctor." "It's good." " Really?" " Yeah." " I can't stand his work." "I just thought- You know, I'm feelin' nostalgic lately." "I thought it might be nice to just see some, you know, old friends." "Well, I heard you're just running around the room... apologizing to people all night." "No, no." "Not at all." "I just kind of, you know" "It's, like, since I've become sober..." "I've made an effort to just try and make amends... with anyone I may have offended when I was a drunk." "Oh." "Well" "I'm waiting." "What, I did- Did I do something to you?" "Are you kidding?" " What?" " What?" " I am so happy to see you." " It's nice." "I was gonna leave." "Then I saw you, and I was, like, "I bought her book."" " It's nice to see you." " I want you to sign it." "I love it." "I mean, the short stories are so honest." "And honesty, I feel, like, is so hard to come by these days." "You-You remember who I am, right?" "We spent an entire weekend together the summer after college." "I mean, you were drunk the entire time... but I can't imagine that you don't remember it." "Well, I mean, you know, I used to black out a lot." "Yeah, it was an entire weekend." "Wow." "Did we, uh" "That story- The girl with the hair down to her toes." "I mean, I didn't have long hair or anything..." " but that was totally about me, wasn't it?" " Not-Actually, not really." "Because who did more Quaaludes in that dorm than me?" " That was phenomenal, that weekend, actually." " Now you remember it?" " Yeah, yeah." "No, I do." " The blackout is lifted." " Some things come back to you sometimes." " Yeah, they do." " Oh, I mean" " So that is totally me." " It wasn't exactly" " Right." "No, I knew that it was, and then I was, like" "I told my mom that it was me, and she told her friends, and" " Hi." " Hey, Sara." " Sara Scare-a." "It's so good to see you." "You look great." "Thank you." "I'll let you guys" "Oh, we're having the best time." " One" " I read your book." "It was terrific." "You don't have to lie to me." "I've heard so much... bullshit tonight." "No, I'm" " I'm not." " It's great." " Really?" "Yeah." "Of course it is." "Wow." "Thank you." "I've got a story for you-A field." "Great party, Murph." "A field, bushes, trees." "Grass." " Great, but what's the story?" " It's nature." "I'm talking nature." "Beauty." " That's terrific." "I'm bored already." " I" " I'll see you around." " It's a field." " I" " It needs some work." " It's..." "life." "What a cast of characters." "My God." "So, was it worth it?" "Unbelievable." "How come she didn't show up?" "I throw the party for her, and she doesn't even show up." "I told you it was a long shot, Murph." "And I invited all of her friends from college." " Yeah." " She's unbelievable." "Thanks." "So this has gotta be, uh, interesting for you two, huh?" "Both recently single, clearly interested in one another." " Ha." " How you guys gonna play this tonight?" " What do you mean, you're single?" " Uh, yes." "I'm" " I am newly detached." "Yeah." "He, uh- He finally dumped the, uh, crackhead." "Freed himself up for you, uh" "So I'm thinking maybe tonight you gotta" " What are you doing?" " oughta put it together." " I'm tryin' to help you out." " Good night, Murph." " Congratulations." " Thanks." "Thank you." " Thank you." " Bye-bye." " See you soon." " Good night." "You're a complete fuckin' idiot, you know that?" "I'm trying to help you out here." " How did you not go home with her?" " Gimme a break." " Gimme time." " Come on." "I'm trying to help you out here." " I don't need help." " That was pathetic, that performance." "Okay, this is getting creepy." "You're gonna scare the children." "Yeah, well, look." "I'm upset." "I invite you to my party, and you don't show up." "It's fine if you don't want to talk to me, but I invited Patti..." " all your friends from college" " What do you want from me?" "Well, look, last night I went through some boxes... and I dug out this poem that you wrote." "And I just thought maybe you'd want to read it." "Remind you, you know, how you felt about us." "How you felt about me." "I don't need reminding." "Leave me alone." "Thank you." " You don't want to read it?" " Burn it." " Patti?" " Hi, Kate." " Oh, my God." " What?" "Murph is out of his mind." "He showed up at school again today." "And this time he accosted me with one of my old poems." "Like that's gonna sway me." "Kate?" "You're being ridiculous, and he is being genuine." "Do you know the whole reason why he threw that party the other night... was in the hopes of you showing up?" " I don't owe him anything." " Kate, you're being stubborn." "No, I'm not." "I'm protecting myself." "He hurt me." "And I promised myself that I would never forgive him." "What do you want me to do, go out and have lunch with him?" "Yes." "And you might actually have a good time." "Oh, yeah." "A thousand laughs." "Fi" " Fine." "Fine." "I'll go." "But only if you come with me." "I don't" "I do not want to be alone with him." "See, I can't, because..." "I'm going to the Hamptons with Brian." "Great." "Great." "You get to go have a romantic rendezvous... and I get to deal with the Murph." "So this is what a couple best sellers will get you, huh?" "See?" "I told you you should start writing again." "Yeah, well" "Wow." "Oh, my God." " How long have you lived here?" " Uh, about five years." "I bought it right after I sold the movie rights to Tonight's the Night." " Mmm." " What a fine, fine film that was." "It was worth every penny." "Oh, my God." "Who are you?" "Seriously." "Oh, my God." "Is this a swimming pool?" "Yeah." "It's pretty ridiculous, right?" "I want you to know I'm not really, like, a really strong swimmer." "That's all right." "We are well equipped with flotation devices." "So" "So I guess, um" " So what should we" " Sorry." "No." "It's fine." "You don't have to" "No, um" "Do you wanna, uh, sleep in my room" " I don't know." " or guest room, or" " How should we do this?" "I guess" " Uh" "I-I vote my room, but, you know, I don't want to offend." "No!" "Of course." "We're adults." "We've been in the same bed before, so, yeah, we could." "Yes, we have." "This way." "Got your kitchen." "Couple of guest rooms here." "Guest bath." " Very good." " Library." "Master bedroom's upstairs." "Oh, my God, Brian." "This is where you write?" "Okay." "I'll let you finish it." "Come here for a second." " Have you read your reviews lately?" " No, it's okay." " No." "It helps... with that lack of confidence." " It's all right." ""A moving collection of stories, fully imagined and heartfelt." ""Miss Petalson is a new and welcome voice." " Shh." " "Inspiring." ""Petalson captures university life with honesty." " "Her insight achieves perfection." " Okay." ""Her grasp of human nature, authentic." " A true New York writer is born."" " Okay." " That's what it says." " That's enough." "So I finally wrote something... and I would love if you would take a look at it this weekend." "Good for you." "All right." "Okay, on a completely unrelated topic" "Okay." "You know what?" "Now you're just being greedy." " I'm jealous as it is." " Okay, okay." " Jesus." " Thank you." "Nothing more." "Okay, but seriously." "Tell me" "I wanna know you liked it." "You liked it." "Do you like it?" "And it shows that you're a very cautious person... but one not afraid of giving second chances." " Interesting." " Uh-huh." "And then here is your heart line." "Okay, so generally, the deeper and stronger the line... the warmer and steadier the devotion." " Is it deep?" " Yeah." "It looks good." "Except there is this shallow section right there." "Must be Bernadette." "Oh, shit." "Good morning." " How's the beach?" " Beautiful." "Yeah?" "Uh, coffee's already out there." "Great." "I got one more little surprise." "Don't be alarmed by the box." "Little gift." " What is it?" " It's a gift." "You gotta open it, silly." "It's a key." "Mm-hmm." "To the house." "Anytime you need to get away from the city to write..." " you can come out here." " Brian, you didn't have to." "Come on." "Don't worry about it." "Hey, if it helps you get started on the novel again, great." "Or if you just need to come here to think... clear your head, do a little reading" "Whatever." "I want you to have it." "It's too much." "Come on." "What good is all this if you can't enjoy it with the people you love?" "Uh, like." "You know what I mean." "Thank you." " Let's eat." " Hmm." " Hey, there she is." " Hello, Michael." " How you doin'?" " Okay." "Um" "So look." "I thought maybe we'd go down the street..." " grab a bite to eat, talk." " Okay." "You look great, by the way." " So you've been sober two years?" " Yep." "What was the big revelation?" "Well, I uh- I woke up on the sidewalk... outside a bar at 6:00 in the morning." "People were going to work, my watch was missing... and there was a note on my chest that said..." ""Sorry about the watch, but clearly you don't need it."" "Clever." " Do you miss it?" " The watch or the booze?" "Don't try to be funny." "I'm the funny one here, remember?" "I do." "I miss it every day." " What do you miss most?" " Everything" "You know, red wine with Italian food... cold beers at Met games... vodka shots for moments like these." "I always could make you squirm." "Really, I have no idea what you're talking about... because we were phenomenal together." "Don't get too excited." "We were okay together." "Bullshit." "We were great together." "Still, to this day, best sex I ever had, hands down." "That's the drunken haze just clouding your memory." "Do you remember the night we had in Washington Square Park?" "Do you remember how great that was?" "I do." "And I was not drunk that night." "I mean, maybe a couple of beers, but that's it." "All right, we were great together." "Is that what you wanna hear?" "It was the best sex I ever had." "You gave me the sweetest kisses." "You were my best friend." "And yes, I have never loved anyone as much as I loved you." "Now do you see why I can never forgive you?" "But it wasn't what you thought it was." "All right?" "And then you never gave me the opportunity to explain myself." "You got drunk, you fucked up, you slept with another girl... and I really don't understand what you need to clarify... or how it would make me feel any better." "I did not sleep with that girl." " Please!" "I'm not an idiot." " Why won't you believe me?" " Because you're a liar." " I am not a liar." "I mean, granted, you know, I did lie to you about where I was that night... but that doesn't, you know, categorically make me a liar." ""Categorically." That's a very big word for you." "Wh-Wh-Why are you doing this?" "Kate, we had something great together... and I blew it, and I always regretted it." "I'm sitting here trying to apologize to you, and you're making jokes?" "What was the girl's name?" "A-Are you kidding me?" "I mean, how on earth would I possibly remember that?" "I remember." "Jennifer Gatits." "A little Long Island bitch." "Why don't we see if she's listed?" "And I would assume from her big hair and accent... that she's back in the 516 area code." "Yeah." "Hi." "I'd like the number for a Jennifer Gatits." "G-A-T-I-T-S." "I'm not sure of the town." "Thank you." "Oh, and nice name, by the way- "Ga-tits."" "Oh." "They're connecting me." " Is this necessary?" "I mean, why are you doing this?" " This is your last chance." "Are you sure you don't want to change your story?" "You know what, Kate?" "I'm telling the truth." "It's been a pleasure." " Need some help with your bags, or, uh" " No, I'm fine." "I got it." "What's going on?" "You haven't said a word the whole ride back." "Yeah." "Well, I, um" "No." "No, everything's great." "Nothing-There's nothing to worry about." " Brian, I had a great weekend." " Okay." "Okay." " And I will" " I will talk to you soon." " Okay." "See ya." "Shit." "Kate?" "Kate, are you home?" " Hello." " Uh" "Pat, um, it's me." "Hey." "What do you want?" "I miss you." "I miss you terribly." " And I, uh" " Listen, uh, Chazz, this really isn't a good time right now." " Okay?" "I" " I made a big mistake." "And I, um" "I'm a shit, I know." "And I" " I need to see you." " All right?" " Uh, listen, Chazz, you know, it's really not a good time." "I have to go." "Bye." "Dick." "Chazz?" "Who the fuck were you talking to?" "Uh, no one." "No one." "I got your juice." "Come back to bed." "Right." "He says he misses me... and he thinks he made a mistake." "No shit, he made a mistake." "You better not be thinking of seeing him." "We're still married." "I owe it to him." "No, you're not." "You're separated." "And he said you were lousy in bed... whereas Brian Callahan just professed his love for you." "It's really a no-brainer, Patti." "Oh, Kate, Chazz isn't some guy I've been seeing for three months." "I've been married to him for seven years." "Six of which you were miserable." "Oh, God." "Do you remember how much I loved him when we first met?" "I have to talk to him." "Think of what a hypocrite I'd be if I've been, you know... telling you to sit down with Murph for weeks... and I don't even give Chazz the chance to talk." "How much could you have changed since we separated?" "A lot." "Entirely different human being." "I've considered starting therapy." "Really want to work from the inside out." "That's great, Chazz." "No, it r-That is great." "I just- One thing that's always" "I guess one reason why I'm hesitant about trying again... is that I have no idea what it is about me that fucking interests you." "You're beautiful." "You're smart." "You're sexy." "You're fantastic." "You're funny." "You've got great hair." "You" "Just everything." "You've got good style." "Remember when we first started seeing each other?" "All right?" "You brought me a book- To the restaurant, right?" "Um" "Hemingway, was it?" "I can't remember the exact title, but it was" "It was" " It was good." "It was real good." "And so why- Why did you stop reading them?" "When you married me, you didn't marry a professor at Oxford." "Okay?" "I made no fucking illusions... as to my academic prowess." "Listen." "I've changed." "I've changed." "I wanna be better." "Okay?" "I even hired a new manager to come in, so I get home earlier at night." "I'm not in 2:00, 3:00, 4:00." "I'm home." "Okay, and then, when you get home earlier each night, what would you want to do?" "Aw, Pat, what is this, the fucking Spanish Inquisition?" "Come on." "Question, question- What" "Are you kidding me?" "Yeah, we're-we're here to clear the air." "To ask questions." "We're here to get back together." "That's it." "Right?" "That's what I want." " I mean, come on." " See, that's the thing about you, Chazz." "You don't listen, because we came here to talk... and that's just what we're doing- Talking." "If we could make love one more time" "What are you worried about?" "She's not gonna get back together with him." " He wears rings on his thumbs, for crying out loud." " Very good point." "However, we've all been in relationships much longer than we should have... just because we didn't want to hurt the other person." "If she goes back to this guy, it's gonna break my heart..." "I'm so in love with this girl." "Aw, Jesus." "You're not gonna get emotional on me, are you?" "Shut the fuck up." "What, I can't share my feelings with you?" "You know how many teary-eyed conversations I've had to sit through with you?" "That was just the booze talkin', all right?" "Hold on." "I got another call." "You know what?" "I'm just gonna call you back." "Murph here." " Hey, Murph, it's Kate." " Hey, Kate." "What's up?" "Um, I just wanted to apologize... for my obnoxious behavior the other day." "Oh, well, apology accepted." "What are you doing?" "You sound like you're in an echo chamber." "No, no." "I'm just at the office." "You're talking to me while you're going to the bathroom, aren't you?" " No, I'm at the office." " Nice." "Wash your hands and call me back." "Look, you called me." "I had to pick up, right?" "Hello?" "Murph here." "All clean." "So, I've been thinking about what you said... and I think that I've been, um" "I want to believe you, so, uh, here's what I propose." "Let's have dinner." "Tonight, 8:00." "Uh, you know, 9:00 would be better." " Make it 9:00 then." " All right. 9:00 it is." "See you then, sweetheart." "So thanks for lunch." "It was nice." " Yeah." " I'll call you tomorrow, or something." "That's it?" "Is that the end of the date?" "I mean, you're not gonna ask me up to your flat?" "No." "No, I-I have work to do." "Why?" "Is somebody there?" "Uh, besides Kate?" "No." "Besides, it's the middle of the afternoon." "Oh!" "Oh, I get it." "Brilliant." "Right." "Lunch date." "Okay." "Can I ask you a question?" "Of all the bloody people in New York, did you have to run back to him?" "You know, I didn't go running back to anybody, and I'm not gonna explain myself again." "Are you in love with him?" "I'm here, aren't I?" "I'm giving this another chance, aren't I?" "Oh, yeah, right." "You're workin' real hard." "What's that supposed to mean?" "Why can't I go back to your flat?" "Come on." " Why are you doing this?" " We can make love." "Come on!" " Do you love him?" "Do you have feelings for him?" " I'm leaving." "I'm going home." " Do you love him?" "Do you love him?" " I don't know!" "You don't?" "Now, listen." "Listen!" "I'm your husband, all right?" "At least, if you have feelings for him, have the decency to lie to me." "That's what people do to protect each other." "They lie, all right?" "That's why I lied every time you asked me where I was." "The truth would have crushed you." "Pat." "Pat, come on." "All right, just walk away then." "Fine." "Just-Just fuckin' walk away." "That's great." "You want the truth?" "Pat!" "I'm your husband." " Hey, it's the Murph." " I thought we said 8:00." " You're an hour late." " We said 9:00." "We agreed." "Come on." " Hello." " Hello." "Look at you." "Thank you." "Come on in." "What's with the basket?" "Well, I'm thinking maybe a picnic in Washington Square Park." "You do know it's December, and 9:00 at night?" "Yeah, but I got a great bottle of sparkling cider... some terrific prosciutto, a little provolone" "Could be nice." "Look at my shoes." "What do you see?" "I have no idea." "Am I supposed to guess the designer or something?" " Or" " They're heels." "And heels means that we're going to a restaurant, not on a picnic..." " regardless of how good the prosciutto is." " All right." "All right, I just thought maybe it could be nice." "You know, a little walk down memory lane back in the park." "It's a sweet idea, but not tonight." "Tonight I want you to take me... to the best restaurant in New York." "Well, you gotta define "best." Are you talkin' best food, most romantic?" " Both." "And expensive." " Really?" " Mm-hmm." " And why is, uh, that so important?" "'Cause I'm a teacher, and you just bought an apartment for $3.5 million." " Is that a good enough reason for you?" " Good point." "You look very nice tonight." "So you want expensive, huh?" "We'll go this way." "Okay, there's something you have to clarify for me." " Anything." " How the hell did you pass the bar?" "I may have cheated a tiny, little bit." " It was my third time." "What was I supposed to do?" " I knew it." "I knew it." "I can't believe you wanted to meet here." "The same bench?" "You kind of take all the drama and anticipation out of it." "Thought maybe you could interpret it as hopeful." " Hopeful?" " Yeah." "This is where we broke up the first time." "Yeah, but we reconnected." "I'm sorry." "I'm confused." "Are we still together?" "No." "Then why am I supposed to be hopeful?" "Because I want to be... together." "Just not now." "Not yet." "What are you doing?" "This doesn't make any sense, Patti." "Come on." "We're-We're... both single." "We both want this." "Why not just go for it now?" "Because I need time for me." "To heal." "To get to know myself again." "I want to get back to working on my novel... and if I jump into a relationship with you... then I'm just gonna be focused on us instead of my writing... and that can't happen again." "I need to give my writing a second chance." "You do remember who you're talking to." "I'm the guy who was pushing you to start writing again." " So you of all people should understand." " Well, then... wh-why do they need to be mutually exclusive?" "You can work and be in a relationship." "So, what?" "So" " So our- our second" "Third chance, really- whatever it is now- has to wait now?" "I never stopped loving you." "I" " I do." "I love you." "I just need time." "Wow." "This sucks." "Okay." "I" " I just can't believe how great the reviews are for your novel." "I mean, unbelievable." "I gotta admit though." "I had a tough time getting through it." "You had me going to the dictionary way too much." "So you didn't-you didn't tell me that Brian was coming back to town." "I didn't mention that to you?" "No." "Must have just slipped your mind though, huh?" "Must have just slipped my mind." "So why hasn't he, um, been spending that much time in New York?" "Well, you know, he's got his new book out too, so he's doing the book tour." "But I think it has something to do with the fact that you broke his heart... and he can't walk around the streets of New York without thinking about you." "He does a lot of crying." "The whole thing is pretty pathetic." "I don't even like to think about it." "He must not be that brokenhearted." "I called him a bunch of times, and he never even called me back, so" "Is-ls" " Is he seeing- Is he seeing someone now?" "I thought we made a deal when I became your lawyer... that we would not discuss affairs of the heart as it relates to my best friend." " Did we not?" " No." "Right." "Okay." " All right?" " Yep." "Mm-hmm." " Mmm." " Hey, Kate." "Come on." "Let's go." "We're gonna be late." "God, Patti." "Did he tell you?" "We already had dinner plans." "I'm so sorry." "I totally forgot that we were seeing his parents." "Kate, it's no big deal." "Yeah, gives you an idea of how much she's looking forward to it, right?" "Now let's go." "My mom misses you." "I'm the funny one, remember?" "It's fine." "I'm gonna go home and do some reading." " All by myself, alone." " Oh." "No." "No." "Come with me." " Any excuse not to have to talk to his mom." " Oh" "Hey, Kate." "Let's go." " Are you okay?" " Yeah." "No, I" " I'm great." "It's all good." "Hi, Brian." " So Frank's dead." " Yes, he is." "Does this mean it's over?" "It is the Last Knight." "Yeah." "Uh, Mr. Callahan." "Hey." "I'm sorry." " Uh, I know you've been here an hour already." " Yeah." " But there is a line down to the corner." " Really?" "Yeah." "And, uh" " So you might have to stay here a little bit longer than anticipated." " Will that be okay?" " That's fine." "Thanks." " Hi." " Dude." "Loved it." " Yeah?" " Loved it." "I am so glad that you got back to Knight tales." "But you killed off Frank." "I mean, you're gonna bring him back, right?" "Well, he did die." "Well, that's a shame." "What have you got?" "Sign this." " There you go." " Thank you." " Hi." " Hi." "Uh" "Uh, hold on." "Uh, I'm sorry, everybody." "I'm just gonna need to take a short break." "I'll be back to, uh, sign whatever you got." "So I read your book." "Congratulations." "Palm Reader." "Nice title." "Thanks." "Nobody's buying it." "I'd trade in all the sales for one of the reviews you got." "Yeah, well, if it weren't for you... helping me write that book, in a way, I wouldn't have had those reviews." "So." " So." " Long time." "Yeah." "How you been?" "Uh" "Really good." " Ah." " Except" "Why haven't you returned any of my phone calls?" " I couldn't." " Why not?" "'Cause it hurt." "And I don't ever want to go through that again." "You know why I had to take that time, right?" "I needed to take care of myself so I can be ready for you." "I know." "It doesn't make it any easier." "How about now?" "You know, I'm, uh- I'm only in the city for tonight." "Um, heading out to the beach for the weekend." "Then I gotta continue on this book tour." "So I guess there's no way to see one another." "I don't think it's a good idea." "Uh, Mr. Callahan..." "I'm very sorry to interrupt, but we have a lot of people waiting." "I got it." "Well, hey." "You never signed my book." " You're kidding." " No." "Write something for me." " It was good seeing you." " You too." "Hello?" "Brian?" "Subtitles by LeapinLar"