"Hold on." "I gotta come up." "I gotta take the world's biggest fucking piss." "We can't be late." "We won't!" " Who's holding?" " lf you're not then nobody." "We were kind of hoping you were." " Yeah." "How are you not holding?" " Jesus Christ Shanna." "It is not my fucking job to supply y'all with weed when we go out." "Whoa whoa whoa whoa little lady." "You're getting angry kind of quick don't you think?" " l was just teasing you." " l'm not angry." "It just would be nice if y'all didn't just count on me all the fucking time and surprise me every once in a while with pot." "Okay mean girl in a high school movie." "Are you through having a tantrum?" " l'm not having a tantrum." " Yes you are." "You've been in the car all of two seconds and you're already cursing at me." " l am not cursing at you." " You said "Jesus Christ Shanna."" "And then before the sentence was over you threw a "fucking" in there to emphasize your "irritatance."" "All right." "Come on guys." "Don't fight." "I'll pay for it when we get some." "One:" "It is not about the money." "It is about the pain in the ass of scoring." "And two:" "We're not really fighting." "Arlene have you forgotten what hanging out with Jungle Julia's like?" "That wasn't a fight." "That was Julia acting like a grumpy bitch and me calling her on it and indulging her at the same time." "That's how we tolerate each other after all these years." "Oh billboard." "So what's the plan man?" "Margaritas and Mexican food at Guero's." "Did you call Rafael and tell him we're coming?" " Of course." " You're so good." "I know." "Okay is Christian Simonson gonna be there?" "You bet your ass he is." "He's gonna be there with Jesse Letterman." "Christian Simonson the filmmaker is in town." "He's got a big thing for Julia." "If he had a big thing for me he'd fucking call me as opposed to disappearing for six months and he'd get his ass down here more often than he does and on my birthday give me a fucking phone call." "Oh billboard." "Yeah but you get those legs of yours around him and it's all over." "Yeah well when I'm redecorating his house in the hills that I am also living in I'll let you know it worked." "So margaritas and Mexican food at Guero's touch base with Chris and Jesse tell them about later and make damn sure they come." "Those other guys will be waiting for us to join them at the Texas Chili Parlor." "Oh shit." "Speaking of which what happened with you and Nate last night?" "Well you know not mu-- We just fucking met each other." "I mean if you don't bust their balls a little bit they're never gonna respect you." "Okay we're pretty clear on what it is you didn't do." "How about enlightening us on what it is you did do?" "Nothing to write home about." "We just made out on the couch for about 20 minutes." "Dressed half-dressed or naked?" "Dressed." "I said we made out." "We didn't do the thing." "Excuse me for living but what is "the thing"?" "You know it's everything but." "They call it "the thing"?" "I call it "the thing."" "Do guys like the thing?" "They like it better than no thing." "Okay I wanna get back to what it is you did do." "So you're making out on the couch with Nate right?" " Correct." " Whose couch?" " His or the one in your hotel room?" " What am I stupid over here?" "Mine." "Were you making out sitting up or lying down?" "We started sitting up." "We worked our way to lying down." "Mmm the plot thickens." "Who was on top?" "I was straddling him." " What else?" " That was it." "So we made out for a little while on the couch and I said "Okay I'm gonna go to bed now so it's time for you to leave."" "And then he starts to whine "Oh right now?"" "And I said "Yep right now." "Let's go."" "And he says "Well wait." "What about this?"" "And I said "No."" "He said "What do you mean no?" "You don't even know what I'm gonna say."" "I said "l already know what you're gonna say and the answer's no."" "He said "How can you say you know what I'm gonna say?"" "I said "Because you're gonna say 'let's just go to sleep together." ""'We don't gotta do nothing." ""'Just cuddle sleep next to each other wake up in the morning together.'" "No you're gonna leave but I'll see you tomorrow."" "Yeah fuck Nate." "I mean he's cute and all but Jesse Letterman's gonna be all over her." " Jesse Letterman" " Remember no hooking up tonight." "You can hang out with him you can make out with him but no hooking up with him because we are driving to Lake LBJ tonight and my daddy's pretty clear about one thing." "He said "l am letting you and your girlfriends stay at my lake house not you and a bunch of horny boys trying to get their fuck on with my daughter."" " Your dad talks like that?" " Hell yeah!" "It's not like he ain't gonna know either because when I'm staying at the lake house with my girlfriends in our bikinis" "Daddy just has a tendency to pop up and make sure we don't need anything." "Look he's totally harmless and cute as a bug's ear." "But you know when he's got a bunch of half-naked poontang walking the floor of his lake house he just likes to pay us a visit and make sure we got everything we need." "And if you flirt shamelessly with him like the six-foot baby giraffe in the backseat you got a puppy dog for life." "I have my own relationship with Ben and you're just jealous 'cause it don't include you." " You call her dad Ben?" " l'm not a child." "That's his name." "So when are the boys showing up?" "They're gonna meet us at the Chili Parlor." "Maybe they can bring some pot." "Fuck that." "No." "I don't wanna be either A depending on their fucking ass or B depending on their ass." "Uh-uh." "We don't score ourselves we're gonna be stuck with them all fucking night." "Ooh try Lanna Frank." "Best idea you had all day." "Oh hey that's your last billboard before Guero's." "Oh come on." "Give me a break." ""Oh come on" my ass!" "We said every time." "Okay." "Jules let me get a drag?" "Thanks." "Oh my God!" "Hey this is-- and I's U .T. days Arlene." " Hey." " Hey." " You wanna join us?" " For a second but I'm with some friends." "Oh." "So you must be-- must be" "So you must be the infamous Butterfly." "Shh!" "She don't know nothing about it." " Know about what?" " When were y'all gonna tell her?" " Soon." " Tell me what?" "Yeah now thanks to you we gotta tell her sooner than later." "All right cut the shit." "What the fuck is going on?" "I said a little somethin'-somethin' about you on the air today." "Julia what the fuck did you say about me on the radio?" "All I said was I had a sexy friend named Butterfly who was in from out of town for the weekend and we would be going out somewhere in Austin tonight and if they were out on the town maybe they'd see us." "And I described you and I said that if they spotted you while we were out if they'd do something you'd do something." "Okay now Julia I'm serious." "What did you say and what did you say I'd do?" "Anyhoo I could explain what I said which would be boring or Marcy over here who is an incredible actress could act it out for you which I think will give you a better idea of what you have in store for you tonight." "Okay so just tell me your way." " So we'll act it out with Marcy?" " Sure." "Okay give Marcy your drink." "Thank you." "Okay so you're in a club or a bar and Marcy's a kind of cute or kind of hot or kind of sexy or better be fucking hysterically funny but not funny-looking guy who you could fuck." " Got it." " Okay Marcy take it." "Howdy." "Hi there." "Excuse me but your name wouldn't be Butterfly would it?" "Yes it is. lt seems you have me at a disadvantage." "Barry." "Pleased to meet you Barry." " Y'all are getting me hot." " Shh!" "So is uh Butterfly your real name?" "Yes it is." "And how'd you know my name Barry?" "I listened to Jungle Julia's show this morning." "Oh you did did you?" "Oh yeah. I listen to her show every morning." "Oh you do do you?" "Yeah." "She's like the coolest lady in town." "Don't you think she's got a big ass?" "Nah man." "I like her ass that way." "She got a black girl's ass." "Well that's what she always says but natural fact she doesn't really have a black girl's ass." " She's got a big ass." " Okay what the fuck are you doing?" "Oh look who wants to get to the point all of a sudden." "Okay we'll get to the point." "But for your information skinny bitch black men and a whole lot of motherfucking white men have had plenty fun adoring my ass." "I don't wear their teeth marks on my butt for nothing." "All right if you're not gonna buy me a drink can I have mine back?" "No." "Okay okay okay okay." "So Butterfly can I buy you a drink?" " l'd love one." " What can I get you?" "I'll take a margarita." "Here you go." "So after they buy you a drink when they raise their glass to toast they look you dead in the eye and repeat this poem:" ""The woods are lovely dark and deep" ""and I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep." ""Did you hear me Butterfly?" "Miles to go before you sleep."" "And then if they say that... you gotta give them a lap dance." "What?" "If they call you Butterfly buy you a drink repeat that poem you gotta give them a lap dance." "That's bullshit." "I ain't giving them nothing." "Well you can do it or not but if you don't everybody in Austin's gonna think you're a chickenshit." "And I don't think you want everybody in Austin thinking you're a chickenshit." "I ain't giving nobody no lap dance 'cause of what you said." "Oh come on." "It's gonna be funny." "Yeah everything's funny to you two when it's happening to me." "Look you don't have to do it for anybody you don't want." "I said you'd do it for the first guy who says it." "So some geek comes over trying to be cool just tell him you already did it at another place earlier." "No harm no foul but you get a free drink out of it." "But maybe a little later in the evening you've had a few drinks you're kind of loosey-goosey you're safe with your girls then some kind of cute kind of hot kind of sexy hysterically funny but not funny-looking guy comes up and says it" "then maybe you did it earlier maybe you didn't." "You made me trip." "You made me trip you dumb bitch!" "Shut the" "You fuckin' idiot!" "Any dead soldiers here?" "Uh these two." "Thank you." "Where the hell is Lanna Frank?" "That's a good fucking question." "Lanna Frank!" "Where are you?" "Well come over already." "We're waiting for you." "Shit!" "Hold on!" "So where are you?" "Come over already." "We're waiting for you." "No we're not coming over there." "You come over here like you said you would." "So is it "Shawna" and the girls at the lake house this weekend?" " "Shawna"?" " Oh fuck!" "I" "No." "Now there is one thing that every girl in the whole world whose name is Shanna has in common with each other we all hate the name Shawna and we really hate it when people call us Shawna." "Just remember it's Shanna Banana not Shawna Banawna." "Okay but at some point in the evening I had fuckability stock." "Yeah. I mean... it wasn't bullish but..." "Okay Warren's sending over shots." "And you know the house rule:" "If he sends over shots you've gotta do them." " What?" " Hey them's the rules baby." "Warren says it we do it!" "I love that philosophy:" ""Warren says it we do it."" " So let's do it!" " What is it?" "Hey shot first questions later." "Here we go!" "Post time!" "Mmm!" "Whoo-hoo!" "Ow!" "Now is that a tasty beverage or is that a tasty beverage?" "What the fuck is it?" "Chartreuse the only liquor so good they named a color after it." "Who's down for dos Chartreuse?" "Not me." " l'm going out for a smoke." " Okay." "But careful where you keep that hot flame all right?" "You'll blow up the joint." "Drinks." "What can I get you?" "Shanna Banana?" "Another big-ass Long Island iced tea." "Bombay Sapphire and tonic no ice." "Good boy." "Oh." "Oh hey Punky uh one of the lights is off in the parking lot." "Flip it." " Oh Jesus Christ!" " Whoa!" "You scared the fuck out of me you shitty asshole!" "I swear Arlene I was not trying to scare you." "I just got lucky." "Oh hardy-fucking-har." "Go inside." " Wait a minute." " Why?" " l was thinking we could make out." " What on a porch?" "Not even in the bar but in front of the entrance?" " Forget it." " No in my car." "What out there?" "It's wet as fucking 'Nam out there." "Not in my car it's not." "Look you won't get wet." "I promise you." "You know most guys wouldn't brag about that." "Ha-ha-ha." "You know what I mean." "Look I know you guys are going to Lake LBJ and we can't come." "I wanna make out!" "Okay just stop with the whining." "It's not attractive." "Okay but I don't want it super-fucking obvious to everybody in the bar I've been gone so we'll go in your car we'll make out for six minutes and that's it." " Deal?" " Great." "No no no." "Deal or no deal?" "If you're gonna whine when I pull the plug in six minutes we can just walk back inside the fucking bar right now." " Deal." "No whining." " And no begging." "And no begging." "When you say done it's done." "I'm gonna remember you said that." "Okay let's go." "Oh you got two jobs:" "kiss good and make sure my hair don't get wet." "Now look you can't look like you're trying to get her out of here before Christian Simonson shows up but you've got to get her out of here before Christian Simonson shows up." "But what's the point?" "They're going to Shanna's daddy's house at Lake LBJ and it's no guys-- absolutely no guys." "Okay so after we bring the girls drinks in fairly rapid order but not obvious we order two more rounds of shots." "You think they're gonna fall for that?" "We'll be very convincing." "Now it's time to turn up the volume." "No more fucking around." "We go to Jäger shots." "Man they're not gonna drink Jäger shots." "Dude as long as a guy's buying the booze a fucking bitch'll drink anything." "Come on dude we can at least get one shot of Jäger down these fucking bitches' throats." "After that we'll see if they got another Jäger shot in them." "You never know." "That could be the shot that puts them past the point of "fuck it."" "Then all of a sudden "no guys at the lake house"" "turns into "a couple of guys at the lake house."" "My point exactly." "I know I can at least get Shanna "Suck My" Banana to do a fucking Buttery Nipple shot." "What's Julia's sweet shot?" " Key lime pie." " Oh come on." "Even fucking Leroy Brown'd do one more for dessert." "Dude check it out." "I wonder if B.J. brought the Bear with him." "Jesus!" "Dude fucking cut himself falling out of his time machine." "Could I get a chicken suit for Stroker Ace please?" "And where did you two disappear to?" "I had to get something out of the car and Nate was gentlemanly enough to escort me with his umbrella." "Ah good for you Nate." "You see that pretty girl sitting by herself at the bar?" "Who the dirty hippie?" "Meow." "She's not a hippie." "She might as well be a hippie." "Thank you Timmy boy." "Well do you know what just happened to her?" "No." "But I know she's a skinny fake-blonde bitch." "Oh I'm sorry." "You were telling a story." "What about her?" "Hey Warren is there anybody in this place you could vouch for to give me a ride home?" "Fair lady your chariot awaits." "You've been eavesdropping?" "Oh eavesdropping and can't help but hear." "I think I belong in the latter category." "So uh Icy Hot are you offering me a ride home?" "I'm offering you a lift if when I'm ready to leave you are too." "And when are you thinking about leaving?" "Truthfully I'm not thinking about it." "But when I do you will be the first to know." "Will you be able to uh drive later?" "I know looks can be deceiving but I'm a teetotaler." "I've been drinking club soda and lime all night and now I'm building up to my big drink." "Which is what?" "Virgin piña colada." "Okay." "Why would someone who doesn't drink spend hours at a bar drinking water?" "A bar offers all kind of things other than alcohol." "Mmm." "Really?" "Like what?" "Women nacho grande platters the fellowship of some fascinating individuals like Warren here." "Alcohol is just a lubricant for all the individual encounters that a barroom offers." "Ooh." "Is that cowboy wisdom?" "I'm not a cowboy Pam." "I'm a stuntman." "But that's a very easy mistake to make." "How do you know my name?" "When you were talking with Warren couldn't help but overhear." "Fair enough." "So what's your name Icy?" "Stuntman Mike." "Stuntman Mike's your name?" "You ask anybody." "Hey Warren who is this guy?" "Stuntman Mike." " And who the hell is Stuntman Mike?" " He's a stuntman." "Warren six shots of Wild Turkey!" "Yeah!" "Yeah." "Salud." "Down the snatch." "You know Pam I think it's time for my big drink." "Well Stuntman Mike since I have a tab here can I buy you that virgin piña colada?" "Thank you Pam." "That would be lovely." "Warren a uh virgin piña colada for my stuntman friend and I'll have another Cadillac Cabo Wabo margarita." "Cabo Wabo virgin." "Hi honey." "Lanna Frank." " Mwah!" "Hey baby." " How are you?" "Hey." "Hey." "What's shaking bacon?" "Hey!" "It's about fucking time!" "Well beggars can't be choosers." "Take a picture." "It lasts longer." "What?" "That table." "Seems to keep um getting your attention." "is that the girl from the billboard outside?" " Yep." " She sure is a striking-looking woman." "It's got gin tequila" " Look at that hair." " Lots of leave-in conditioner." " ls that jealousy I detect?" " Hardly." "But if you wanna get with uh Jungle Julia there's a real easy way to do that." " Really?" " Yeah." " What would that be?" " Get famous." "You won't have to find her." "She'll find you." "And you don't even wanna know what she did for that billboard." "Enjoy it cocksucker." "You've earned it." "What did she ever do to you?" "We went to school together from kindergarten through high school." "That's what she did to me." "She was her height right now at 12." "She was a monster." "Half the guys she still fucks from the old class she used to beat up and terrorize in the fifth grade." "I see." "And she used to beat you up and take your chocolate milk huh?" "That pituitary case?" "Might've kicked my ass a couple of times." "Sorry. I'm built like a girl not a black man." "But I'd die before I ever gave Julia Lucai my chocolate milk." "Hey are you famous or something?" "Or something." "No no no." "Really." "Hey what do you do?" "Really?" "What I do is work my ass off to get my own record label off the ground." "But why that girl wanted a picture of me is because I'm a local deejay." "Wait a minute." "You got a billboard by Big Kahuna Burger don't you?" "Yeah. I got one there too Zatoichi." "Yeah." "Jungle Julia Lucai." "Stuntman Mike McKay." "Well good to meet you Stuntman Mike." "Now my friends and I are gonna continue to get our weed on." " Would you care for some?" " Thank you Julia." "But just the same no thanks." " Suit yourself." " But you know" "Aw shit." "Oh God." "Sorry. lt's nothing." "What the fuck was that?" "Actually I do want you to have a shot." "You got some voucher here." "I asked him what movies you worked on." "No fucking clue." "Well technically I really don't know if he's ever done anything for sure." "I mean he shows me an episode of High Chaparall a guy falls off a horse he says it's him." "You know the show The Virginian?" "Yeah well there was another actor on that show" " Gary Clarke-- and I looked like him a bit." "Obviously before I cut myself shaving." "Oh I like it." "Well damn if you ain't so sweet you make sugar taste just like salt." "Anyway I did a lot of Virginians doubling Gary Clarke." "And uh then that show turned into The Men of Shiloh they brought on Lee Majors and I doubled him." "From that point on I specialized mostly in car stunts." "Yeah I did damn near the whole third season of Vegas." "I was Robert Urich's driving double." "And then Bob did another show" " Gavilan and he brought me with him on that till..." "And after that..." "Do you know any of these shows or people I'm talking about?" "Sorry." " No." " No." "So how exactly does one become a stuntman" "Stuntman Mike?" "Well in Hollywood anybody fool enough to throw himself down a flight of stairs can usually find somebody to pay him for it." "But really I got into the business the way most people get in the stunt business." " How's that?" " My brother got me in it." " Well who's your brother?" " Stuntman Bob." "I'm trying to get these two shows happening in New York for November." " l'm ready to blaze." " Finally." "Yeah." " You need to catch up with us." " Now the party can start." "Yep." "Anyhoo I'm sorry." "Will you forgive me?" "But you have to be real nice to me for the whole rest of the time I'm here." " Promise." "You ready to go to the lake?" " Mm-hmm." "How about your little friend?" "You wanna bring him?" "I thought no boys." "If you really want him to come Shanna won't mind." "So how about it?" "Boys or just us girls?" "Us girls." "Good idea." "Ladies." "Thanks." "Cheers Butterfly." ""The woods are lovely dark and deep" ""and I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep." ""Did you hear me Butterfly?" "Miles to go before you sleep."" "Sorry Stuntman Burt" "Mike." "Mike." "She already broke off that dance." "Is that true?" "Did I miss my chance?" "Do I frighten you?" "Is it my scar?" "It's your car." "Ah." "Yeah I know." "Sorry." "It's my mom's car." "Have you been following us?" "No." "But that's what I love about Austin." "It's just so damn small." " You've seen this guy before?" " l saw him outside of Guero's." "And I saw you outside Guero's too." "You saw my car l saw your legs." "Now look I ain't stalking y'all but I didn't say I wasn't a wolf." "So you really weren't following us?" "I'm not following you Butterfly." "I just got lucky." "So how about that lap dance?" "Sorry. lt was a one-time-only offer and she did it earlier this evening at Anton's." " No she didn't." " How do you know?" "I'm good that way." "And you look a little touchéd." " What's "touchéd"?" " Wounded slightly." "Why should I be wounded?" "Because you expected guys to be pestering you all night but from your look I can tell nobody pestered you at all." "That kind of hurt your feelings a little bit didn't it?" "There are few things as fetching as a bruised ego on a beautiful angel." "So... how about that lap dance?" "I think I'm gonna have to give you a rain check." "Well since you'll be leaving in the next couple of days that rain check will be worthless." "But that's okay." "I understand if I make you uncomfortable." "You're still a nice girl and I still like you." "But I must warn you of something." "You know how people say..." ""You're okay in my book"" "or "ln my book that's no good"?" "Well I actually have a book." "And everybody I ever meet goes in this book." "And now I've met you and you're going in the book." "Except I'm afraid I must file you... under "chickenshit."" "And what if I did it?" "Well I definitely couldn't file you under "chickenshit" then now could I?" "What's your name again?" "Stuntman Mike." "Well Stuntman Mike I'm Butterfly." "My friend Jungle Julia over here says that jukebox inside is pretty impressive." " Yeah it is." " Yeah." "Why don't you go get ready for your lap dance?" "What about "kind of cute kind of hot kind of sexy hysterically funny but not funny-looking guy who you could fuck"" "did you not understand?" "I'm driving." "We're gonna go somewhere else." "We're gonna go hang out." " You ready to go?" " Yeah." " Bye." " Bye." "I think you got Mike laid tonight." "Lookin' good Cannonball Run!" "He's just giving me a ride." " Oh no doubt." " Have a nice ride!" "Look double fucks... uh-uh I am not gonna fuck him." "I can hear you." " He's old enough to be my dad" " I can still hear you." " Bye." " Bye-bye." "Wow that's fucking scary." "Yeah well I wanted it to be impressive." "Scary tends to impress." "Is it safe?" "Oh it's better than safe." "It's death proof." "How do you make a car death proof?" "Well that's what stuntmen do." "You've seen a movie where a car gets into some smash-up there ain't no way in hell anybody's walking away from?" "Yeah." "Well how do you think they accomplish that?" "CGI?" "Well unfortunately Pam nowadays more often than not you're right." "But back in the all-or-nothing days the Vanishing Point days the Dirty Mary Crazy Larry days the White Line Fever days-- real cars smashing into real cars with real dumb people driving them." "So you give the stunt team the car you want to smash up take her and reinforce that fucker everywhere and voilà you got yourself a death-proof automobile." "That makes sense." "I just didn't know you could make a car death proof." "Hell I can drive this baby into a brick wall doing 125 miles an hour just for the experience." "Why is your passenger seat in a box?" "Well this is a movie car." "Sometimes when you're shooting a crash director wants to put a camera in the car." "You know shoot the crash from the inside." "That's where you put the camera." "They call it a crash box." "Here." "There you go." "You know when you asked to drive me home you didn't mention your car didn't have a passenger seat." "Yeah well actually I didn't ask to drive you home." "You asked me for a ride and I said yes." "But look at the bright side Pam." "I won't be getting fresh putting my hand on your knee." "That is the bright side." "I thought so." "Well Pam which way you going?" " Left or right?" " Right." "Ah that's too bad." "Why?" "Well because there was a 50-50 shot on whether you'd be going left or right." "You see we're both going left." "You could've just as easily been going left too and if that was the case it would've been a while before you started getting scared." "But since you're going the other way" "I'm afraid... you're gonna have to start getting scared...immediately." "What the fuck?" "Cocksucking motherfucker!" "Just fucking let me out of here!" "I'll fucking rip your fucking" "Stop the fucking car!" "Okay here's the thing." "I get it." "I-- l know it's a joke and it's super-funny." "Um but if you just stop right now you know and-- and-- and let me out I'll never tell anybody because I know it's a joke." "I know all about jokes." "I promise everything will be fine." "Just" " Just" " Just let me out please and-- and" "Hey Pam remember when I said this car was death proof?" "Well that wasn't a lie." "This car is 100% death proof." "Only to get the benefit of it honey you really need to be sitting in my seat." "Now I gotta catch me my other girlfriends." "No no no no." "It's Dave Dee Dozy Beaky Mitch and Tich." "So you got it?" "Thanks honey." "You're gonna play it next song right?" "Good boy." "Growl." "Bye-bye." "Who do you wanna hear?" "Dave Dee Dozy Beaky Mitch and Tich." "Who?" "Dave Dee Dozy Beaky Mitch and Tich." "Who the fuck are they?" "For your information Pete Townshend at one point almost quit The Who and if he had he would've ended up in this group thus making it Dave Dee Dozy Beaky Mitch Tich and Pete." "And if you ask me he should have." "That's my boy!" "I wanna hear this part of the song louder!" "Do you remember anything?" "Uh I don't remember." "Dr. Block." "Self restraints to room 310." "Self restraints to room 310." "Well what's the patient's prognosis Dr. Block?" "I don't really see it's any of your business." "Come on now sis." "You just tell us." "How bad is he?" "He got banged up real good." "Busted nose broken collarbone smashed up his left index finger." "Is that it?" "He was real lucky." "That'll be all?" "Why that's more than enough and I wanna thank you Dr. Block." "Son of a bitch!" "So Pop what do you think?" "Well son number one what I think is so goddamn ghoulish" "I hesitate to speak it out loud." "Well give it a shot." "Well what we have here is a case of vehicular homicide." "That old boy in there murdered them pretty little gals." "I mean he used a car and not a hatchet but they dead just the same." "Well what are you gonna do?" "Not a goddamn thing." "The DA says ain't no crime here." "Every one of them gals was swimming in alcohol and floating on weed." "And old Hooper in there came out clean as a whistle." "Now you actually think that he premeditatedly murdered them gals?" "Well I can't prove it but since thinking don't cost nothing I can think it and I do." "Yeah but Pop he got pretty banged up hisself." "Well hell yeah he got banged up but God damn!" "Them pretty little gals look like a goddamn giant chewed 'em up and spit 'em out." "Any of 'em survive?" "Shit." "Two tons of metal 200 miles an hour flesh and bone and plain old Newton..." "They all princess died." "Why?" "Well I'd guestimate it's a sex thing." "The only way I can figure it." "High-velocity impact twisted metal busted glass all four souls taken exactly at the same time." "Probably the only way that diabolical degenerate can shoot his goo." "Yeah I think the only thing we can dream of getting that bastard on is vehicular manslaughter for the hitchhiker in the death box." "That was just plain old goddamn reckless endangerment." "But I got me a goddamn bartender gonna testify that old Stuntman Mike didn't drink a drop all night and his passenger was left stranded by her date in the goddamn rain no less and she asked him for the fucking ride." "Now on paper it's gonna look like he's just trying to help her out." "I mean that's the way the jury's gonna see it." "So what are you gonna do Pop?" "Well I can take it upon myself to work the case you know in my off hours." "Search for evidence you know to prove my theory." "Alert authorities." "Dog that rotten son of a bitch." "Wherever he goes I go." "Or I can spend the same goddamn amount of time and energy following the NASCAR circuit." "Hmm." "I thought about it a lot." "I think I'd have a hell of lot happier life if I did the latter." "And just because I can't punish old..." "Frankenstein in there for what he's done" "I'm gonna tell you like the Lord told John." "If he ever does it again" "I can make goddamn sure he don't do it in Texas." " So are you on the same floor with him?" " No he's on the 4th and I'm on the 7th." " Who's in whose room?" " He's in mine." " And so what happened then?" " That was pretty much it." "We made out in the hall for about 10 minutes and then I sent him off to his room." " So how's The Rock as a kisser?" " Mmm he's damn good!" "He's got them mushy lips and fingertips." "Mmm I love them mushy lips." "And he's a big guy so he spins me around so my back's up against him." "Then he takes his big hand and he puts it on my throat tilts my head back and leans over me kisses me from behind." " Damn that sounds sexy!" " Mmm it was sexy." "But then that was it?" "You sent him off?" "How'd he take it?" "Wait a minute." "What are we doing here?" "If I'm gonna power through and pick up Zoë at the airport" "I need a big-ass cup of coffee." "Since you're getting that can you get some more vodka and some more sugar-free Red Bull?" "We didn't know you were awake." "I'm not awake. I'm asleep." "But get some more vodka and some more sugar-free Red Bull anyway." "And some Red Apple Tans." "Damn!" "I didn't stop to get you bitches groceries!" " You remember how to get to the airport don't you?" " Uh-huh." "Well then you should get behind the wheel 'cause you gonna drive." "Motherfuckers!" "They ain't got sugar-free Red Bull." "They got regular Red Bull and sugar-free G.O. juice." " G.O." " G.O.!" "Where the hell are my keys?" "Oh here they are." "Oh sorry. I didn't mean to give you a concert there." "No it wasn't you." "That guy bumped into my feet when he walked by." "I don't know why but that kind of creeped me out." "Little dick." "Clearly." "Since I'm up" "I might as well hit the ATM." "Get me a fucking smoke." "What?" "Did you just see the" "What?" "Nothing honey." "Yello." "It's me." "Miss me?" "Oh you best get your ass off Kim's car." "I've seen Kim sit on it before." "Her ass ain't your ass." "Okay." "So I think I'm in this month's issue of Allure." "You got Allure?" "Magazines by the window." "Here you are!" "You hot mama you." "See you in a second." "3.85." "Out of 20." "And you get 15 and change back." "Thank you very much." "You know I got other fashion magazines for sale behind the counter." "No that's okay." "This'll be all." " Thought I'd ask." " Thanks anyway." "Have a good one." "I got this month's issue of Italian Vogue." "This month's?" "Listen to this." "The Circle A clerk has this month's issue of Italian Vogue." " No way." " Way." "I can't believe a fucking Circle A carries Italian Vogue." "It doesn't." "It's his own personal copy." "He'll let it go for 27 bucks." "Twenty-seven bucks?" "What the fuck do you care?" "We're talking about fucking per diem here." "Look we found an issue of Italian Vogue in Lebanon Tennessee." "We're lucky he's not asking for fucking Krugerrands." "I'm getting it and we're splitting it three ways." "What me you and Kim?" "No Kim doesn't give a shit about Italian Vogue." "But Brandy will come in with us and if she won't Tysla her sister will." "Okay." "But if anybody tears out any sheets I want you gotta make color Xerox of those pages." "And I'm not talking fucking Kinko's here either okay?" "You take it to the art department you have them do it fucking right." "You guys are good." "Oh my God." "That's it." "That's it." "Oh boy." "Your timing couldn't be better Zoë." "It just so happens that we're all three off duty for the next three days of shooting." "Fucking hell." "How does that happen?" "Well I'm doing Lindsay Lohan's makeup and she's off for the next three days there's no stunts being filmed during that time so Kim's free and Lee's on a "will notify" for the next four days." "So how's the shoot going?" "Great." "We're having the best time." "The director Cecil Evans is so much fun." "We're making the coolest movie and partying all the time." "Hell yeah." "The next job after this one is definitely gonna suck." "So let's hear it ladies." "Set romances." "Who's getting it off?" "That would be Lee and Toolbox." "Oh Toolbox." "Name sounds promising." " He's a grip." " What he is is a pervert." "Well he just keeps sounding better and better." "What's his perversion?" "He likes to watch me pee." "Lee is sitting on the toilet and Toolbox is watching her pee." "P-I-S-S-l-N-G." "Yeah but not no more." "Now she's getting it on with The Rock." " You're having one off with The Rock?" " Not the real Rock." "He's this electrician named Bruce." "And Kim started calling him The Rock 'cause he kind of looks like The Rock so now we all just call him The Rock." "Oh yeah." "This is an all-star crew." "We got a guy who looks like Nick Cage and a guy who looks like Pee-wee Herman too." "Kim dick department." "Let's hear it." "Mm-mm." "No dick this trip." "I got a man." " How long have you had this boyfriend?" " About three months." "Who'd you steal him from?" " Nobody." " Kim!" "Wha" " What?" "He totally had a girlfriend." "All of Kim's boyfriends start out as somebody else's boyfriend." "I did not steal him." "I didn't steal any of them." "They just...jumped ship." "So what's your story Abernathy?" "Oh Abbie's got the big kahuna." "I had a set crush on Cecil." "Set crush?" "Nigga please!" "You were his set wife." ""Were" and "had" being the key words here." "Bitch you two are still into each other and you know it." "Yeah well if he's so in love with me then whey did he fuck Daryl Hannah's stand-in?" "Ho-ho-ho!" "Yes men are dogs." "Oh it's so funny!" "Oh it's so funny!" "Oh stop acting all hurt." "Your ass just mad." "Yeah he's a stand-in fucker." "Bitch you need to get over that shit." "That was two weeks ago." "Oh well now that you put it like that." "Oh I haven't told you the best part." "He fucked her on my birthday." "Oh that's a horse of a different color." "Thank you." "Did he know it was your birthday?" "He's the director." "He's kind of busy." "He ate a piece of my birthday cake and he got me a present." "Yeah I think he knew." "Well what did he get you?" "He made me a tape." "He made you a tape?" " Yeah." " Wait." "He didn't burn you a CD ." "He made you a tape?" " Yeah." " Oh that is so romantic." "Yes." "I know what you're gonna say so don't even go there." "That sounds like the test of true love to me." "Look I know you guys like him." "He's likable but he fucked another woman on my birthday." "How can you not be on my side?" "Well I admit that sounds bad." "It is bad!" "It just sounds like there's a little more to it than that." " Were you two fucking?" " Hell no." "Hello." "Is your name Abernathy?" "Sorry." "The answer to your question is no of course not." "What do you mean "No of course not"?" "The reason Cecil hasn't had a girlfriend in six years is because girls will fuck him." "And if you fuck Cecil you don't become one of his girlfriends." "Not to say I want to be his girlfriend but if I did want to be his girlfriend if I fucked him I wouldn't be his girlfriend." "I'd be one of his regulars." "And I'm just getting too fucking old for that shit." "Have you let him do anything?" "Yes!" "I've let him give me a foot massage and when we go to the movies I've let him hold my hand." "Bitch you might be acting like you 12 years old but he just acting like a man." "You need to break that nigga off a piece." "Let me get this straight." " You're not fucking him..." " Mm-mm." " you're not sucking him..." " Mm-mm." "you're not giving him any tongue but Daryl Hannah's stand-in is." "Okay can we just take my sex life off the table?" "Actually uh it was Cecil's sex life that was on the table and your lack of one." "Ohhh!" "Fuck both of you and your little high five." "Before you can claim a nigga you got to claim a nigga and you can start by giving that motherfucker a hand job in the back of the van on Tuesday." "I'm not gonna do that." "I know you won't." "But you know who will." "The bitch that ends up living in that big-ass mansion of his." "Now I gotta say I haven't entirely agreed with everything Kim said but it is true:" "If you stretch shit out like you have with Cecil and you suddenly get dirty on them it blows their mind." "So Zoë Kim and I are in the Philippines at an outdoor rave." " What were you working on?" " Three Kicks to the Head Part Three." "And admittedly we're a little fucked-up." " Cheers to that." " Word." "Cheers." "So Zoë the genius wants to take a picture of me." "It's dark as hell and you can't see shit." "So she's got her camera and keeps saying" ""Step back a little" so I do." "Then "A little further" so I step back a little further." "Then "A little more" so I do." "Then I realize I'm right at the edge of a seven-foot concrete ditch with God knows how many rocks and broken bottles and rats in it and if I fell in that fucking thing I'd probably would've broken my fucking neck." "So I'm yelling at her "Zoë you almost killed me!"" "So we laugh about it and walk a little further and Zoë starts fucking around and damn if she doesn't fall in the fucking ditch." "Nice." "Nice." "Thank you." "Yep." "Thank you." "I remember taking a step and looking down." "Just as I'm thinking "There's that ditch Abbie was talking about"" "bam I'm in the fucking ditch you know?" "What happened?" "What with Zoë the cat?" "Nothing." "If I fell in that fucking thing they would've had to helicopter me out of there." "Zoë just lands on her feet." "But then later I started feeling a little bad about myself." "Zoë falls in the ditch and it's nothing." "We're laughing about it." "If I fell in that fucking thing" "I probably would've been fucking paralyzed." "Oh honey you can't think like that." "You know we all have our individual talents and that just happens to be one of Zoë's." " Yeah." " Well... physically speaking Zoë is amazing." "I mean agility reflexes nimbleness." "There's few human beings that can fuck with Zoë on that front." "Oh Kim I like you too." "Having said that before you get too envious of Zoë's prowess you're missing the most important part of that story." "You didn't fall in the ditch Zoë did." "Zoë even knew there was a ditch there because you told her and she still fell in." "So Lee's right." "We all have our talents." "Hey I resemble that remark." "So Kim you still pack a roscoe?" "Check it out bitch." " Ooh nice one mate." " l know this." " What's a roscoe?" " A roscoe is a pistol." " You carry a gun?" " Uh-huh." " You have a license to carry it?" " Yeah." "When I became a Secret Service agent they gave me a license." "Oh I didn't know you were" "Okay I didn't say it all right?" "Stop looking at me. I didn't say it." "God!" "Did you know Kim carried a gun?" "Yes." "Now do I approve?" "No." "Do I know?" "Yes." "Look I don't know what futuristic utopia you live in but the world I live in a bitch need a gun." "You can't get around the fact that people who carry guns tend to get shot more than people who don't." "And you can't get around the fact that if I go down to the laundry room in my building at midnight enough times" "I might get my ass raped." "Don't do your laundry at midnight." "Fuck that. I wanna do my laundry whenever the fuck i wanna do my laundry." "There are other things you can carry other than a gun." "Pepper spray." "Uh motherfucker try to rape me I don't wanna give him a skin rash." "I wanna shut that nigga down." "How about a knife at least?" "Yeah." "You know what happens to motherfuckers carry knives?" "They get shot!" "Look if I ever become a famous actress" "I won't carry a gun." "I'll hire me a do-dirt nigga and he'll carry the gun." "And when shit goes down I'll sit back and laugh." "But until that day it's Wild West motherfucker." "So Zoë you thought about what you want to do first?" "It just so happens I know exactly what I wanna do." "Oh really?" "And what would that be?" "To me there's no point in being in America unless you can drive a Detroit muscle car." "And I wanna drive a Dodge Challenger." "Fuck me swinging balls out." "Um well I guess we can talk to Transpo." "But does it have to be a Dodge Challenger?" "Not just that." "It has to be a 1970 Dodge Challenger with a 440 engine." "How in the fuck do you expect to do that?" "No worries mate." "I've got it all worked out." "When I knew I was coming here I went online and found out that the local paper here in Tennessee is the Lebanon News Sentinel." " So back home-- - l'm sorry." "Where's home?" "Australia right?" "What do you mean by that mate?" "Zoë's from New Zealand and you never-- l repeat never-- call a Kiwi an Aussie." "That is unless you want your ass kicked." "I'm so sorry." "I really am." "Oh it's okay." "We're just taking the piss out of you mate." "Auckland to answer your question." "Anyway I subscribed to the local paper a month ago." "Now why the fuck you want a local redneck newspaper in New Zealand?" "Pipe down and I'll tell you." "I've been getting the paper for the last month and I've been checking the classified at the back looking at cars for sale." "So as of yesterday for sale in this town some dude is selling a stock 1970 Dodge Challenger with a 440 engine and a white paint job." "And you wanna buy it?" "Kim I may be stupid but I'm not bloody stupid." "I wanna say I wanna buy it so he'll let me test-drive it." "A 1970 Dodge Challenger with a white paint job." " Oh uh Kowalski." " Kowalski from Vanishing Point." " Mate it's a fucking classic!" " Mmm I get it." "If I can get this guy to let me drive it without him" "I will blow the doors off that bitch." " What's Vanishing Point?" " Oh God." ""What's Vanishing Point?"" "Abs I'm supposed to be the illiterate one." "It's just one of the best American movies ever made." "Actually Zoë most girls wouldn't know Vanishing Point." "Excuse me. "Most girls"?" "What the fuck are you two?" "Yeah well we're gearheads." "Of course we watched it." "Y'all grew up watching that Pretty in Pink shit." "Oh I like Pretty in Pink." "What so you didn't watch John Hughes movies?" "Of course I did." "I'm a girl." "But I also watched car shit too." " Vanishing Point Dirty Mary Crazy Larry..." " Mm-hmm." "Mm-hmm." "Gone in 60 Seconds" "The real one not that Angelina Jolie bullshit." "We have an outdoors theater in Auckland." "It plays Vanishing Point Big Wednesday all the classics." "What do you horny gals want?" "Hey you got a 1970 Dodge Challenger for sale?" "Right up here ladies." "This shit is off the fucking hook!" "Fucking legendary mate." "Sweet ass." "Well if you'll excuse me for a moment" "I'd just like to have a word alone with my business associate." " You ladies take your time." " Okay." "Mmm." "What are you waiting for?" "Ask him to let you drive it by yourself." "l-- l intend to but first I need to ask you something." "What?" "If he lets us take it out on our own I wanna play ship's mast." " Oh hell no!" " Would you keep it down?" " Ain't no way I'm doing ship's mast." " For Christ sakes" " Don't blaspheme." " Sorry." "Now what did you say after the last time?" " Look I know what I said" " What did you say?" " l know I said we shouldn't do this again" " No." "You didn't say we shouldn't." "You said we ain't ever gonna do that again." " Yeah but-- - "But" my ass!" "You said not only are we never gonna play ship's mast again but you also said if you ever do what you trying to do now to not only refuse but that I had permission to physically restrain your ass if necessary." "Now did you or did you not say that?" " Well" " No no no no." "Answer the question motherfucker." "Did you or did you not say that?" "Yes I said that." "However" "Whatever with your "however."" "Look I know I said it and I know I meant it" "Damn skippy you meant it." "Yeah but when I said it I didn't mean in America." " Oh nigga please!" " Really" "I meant we should never play ship's mast again in New Zealand or Australia." "You are such a liar." "Look I know what I said when I said it." "But when I said it I didn't know I'd ever come to America." "And when I said it if I had known I was going to come to America and had the opportunity to play ship's mast with a fucking Vanishing Point Challenger" "I would've added a "however."" "Right?" "Okay oddly enough I actually understood that." "However just because you talked yourself into some stupid shit doesn't mean I have lost my goddamn mind." "You need two people to play ship's mast and I ain't playing." "I'll be your best friend." "I don't need me no best friend lives on the other side of planet Earth." " I'll crack your back." " You'll crack it anyway." "Well of course I'll crack it anyway." "But now while I'm here I'll be your back-cracking slave." "Whenever you want it you got it." "You don't even have to ask for it." "You just order me to do it." "Just be like..." ""Bitch get over here and get busy."" " You crack my back you'll give me foot massages..." " Mm-hmm." "Mmm." "and after a shower you put moisturizer on my butt." "Deal." "So we're gonna see if this guy'll let us take the car out without him." "If he does you wait here with Lee and we'll be back in a moment." "What?" "I said we're gonna see if this guy'll let us take the car out without him" "I heard what you said." "I just can't believe what you said." "You know you two got some fucking balls." "What?" "Don't play dumbass with me." "I've been up all night." "I'm still a little drunk and I have a hangover." "I should be in my hotel room asleep not fucking around here on Tobacco Road." "But because Zoë wanted to drive some fucking Vanishing Point car I'm here." "Now you two got the balls to ask me-- no scratch that-- tell me I gotta go make conversation with Tom Joad while the cool kids get to go out and play?" "Bullshit on that." " lt ain't like that." " Then what's it like Kim?" "You guys are our collateral." "He is never gonna go for it if we all go." "I really think one human being will be collateral enough." "You're not gonna wanna do what we're doing." "What drive a car?" " Mmm." " We're doing more than that." "What drive it fast?" "We're doing more than that." "Actually we're paying you a compliment 'cause we gonna do some stupid shit." "But that's okay." "We're stunt people." "We ain't got good sense." "But you got good sense and anybody with good sense ain't gonna wanna do what we're doing." "How do you know I don't wanna do it?" " 'Cause you're a mom." " Yeah." "You know we're supposed to be this big posse but that's the excuse you guys use whenever you want to exclude me from something." "So what is it you two daredevils are doing that I'm just so uncool" "I couldn't possibly understand?" "You know we're kind of conning this guy so maybe it's best that we don't go into detail about it while he's watching us." "Besides he's probably not gonna let us do it anyway." "Okay." "How about this?" "I'll talk him into it." "But if I talk him into it I go along." " How you gonna do that?" " Eh that's my problem." "But don't worry." "He'll say yes." "What are you gonna do blow him?" "No!" "I'm gonna insinuate that Lee's gonna blow him." "That's good." "Not really." "But let me handle it." "We got a deal?" "Okay Mommy listen up." "You wanna hang with the cool kids you got to be cool." "We take you along you don't say shit." "You don't even say crap." "You just sit in the back and I don't wanna hear a peep out of your ass you understand?" " Got it." " l'm serious now." "You start nagging us we're pulling over to the side of the road kicking your ass out and picking you up later." "Agreed." "Okay." "Go work your magic." " Hello sir." " Hello!" " Hello." "What's your name?" " Jasper." "Hello Jasper." "I'm Abernathy." " Aber-- what?" " Abernathy." " What's your first name?" " That is my first name." "What kind of first name is that?" "You know what?" "Just call me Abbie." "Okay Abbie." "Jasper we were wondering if my friends and I could take the car out for a little test-drive out on our own." "You know just to see if we're comfortable in it." "Why would I do something stupid like that?" "To better sell your automobile." "How do I know y'all ain't just gonna steal it?" "Four reasons actually." "One we're not thieves." "Two that would be rude." "Three we're staying at the Days Inn in town." "You can call the hotel check with management." "We're registered for the next month." "Actually Zoë's not." "But Kim and I are so we're totally track-downable." "Who's Kim?" "The colored girl?" "Yes." "Kim would be the girl of color." "And reason number four and the most important while we're taking the car out for a little spin that'll give you a better opportunity to get acquainted with our other friend Lee." "Why does she look kind of familiar?" "That would be because she's a famous actress." "Oh." "Why is she dressed like that?" "Well you see we're making a Hollywood movie in town and it's a cheerleader movie and she's one of the cheerleaders." "What's a cheerleader movie?" "A movie about cheerleaders." "Is it a porno movie?" "Yes it is." "But don't mention it." "She's shy." "Lee this is Jasper." "Jasper Lee." "Now you two kids stay out of trouble." "Hey good-lookin' be back to pick you up later." "Ta-ta!" "Gulp." "You thinking what I'm thinking?" "I think I'm thinking it." "What are you and you thinking?" "I'm thinking we told your ass to shut the fuck up." " Where y'all going?" " You stay put." "I gotta take a" "So you ready to do this?" "You sure?" "Well I always don't wanna do it right before I'm gonna do it." "You know what I mean?" "Yeah I know what you mean 'cause I don't wanna do it." " Kim..." " l'm just saying." "Look if you're gonna take the piss out of it" "I'm just saying." "You wanna start out on top?" "Practically doesn't count if you start on the top." "Here are your gloves." "No no no no." "I'm wearing the jacket." "This is my jacket." "Um ain't you 'posed to be my slave or some shit?" " Come on." " l'm the one who's on the fucking bonnet!" ""Bonnet" my ass." "You on the hood." "Y'all I think I hear a car coming!" "Give me your belt." "Oh." "But this is my cute shit." " Well" " Fuck that." "Get Abernathy's belt." "Fine." "We'll use Abbie's belt." " Give me your belt." " No." " Prada." " Come on give her the belt." "Magic word." "Please give her the belt." "Just 'cause you asked nicely." " lt's nice to be nice Kim!" " Whatever." "You know what?" "Don't even fucking think about asking me next time you want me to do your hair." "Your ass gonna do it." "Yeah and you'll ask "pretty please" bitch because that's what you do when no one else is looking." "You ain't that fucking hard." "I ain't getting that shit." "Abernathy don't get on my nerves right now." "I got shit on my mind." "Ooh!" "You know I ain't six." "It's cold." "Can we roll up one of these windows?" "No." "Okay Abernathy." "Check this out." "What the fuck are you guys doing?" "What does that mean?" "Whoa." "Faster you black bitch!" "Faster!" "Is that fast enough for your bony ass?" "Whoohoo!" "Whoa-ho-ho-ho!" "Abernathy get your ass up here." "All righty." "Whoa whoa whoa." "Go go go!" "Check it out bitch." "You want it fucking faster?" " Oh my God." " What the fuck?" "Shit!" "Zoë!" "Damn it!" "Now." "Did you do something to him?" " Did you say something?" " Nothing!" "Nothing!" "Shit!" "Shit here he comes!" "Here he comes!" " Oh Shit!" " Shit!" "Oh shit!" " Whoa." " Hold on Zoë!" "Oh my God!" "Zoë!" " Oh!" "Hold on!" " l can't!" "Whoo!" "Fuck you motherfucker!" "Zoë!" "Zoë!" " l'm sorry I called you a black bitch!" " l forgive you!" "Now hold the fuck on!" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Get away!" "Oh shit!" "I can't fucking see!" "I can't see!" "Zoë move your legs!" "Fuck you!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Redneck lunatic bastard!" "Get away from me!" "Baby just hold on!" " Zoë" " Fuck you!" " Oh my God!" " Come on!" "Come on!" "Fucking get away from me!" " Oh shit!" " l'm scared Kim!" "I'm really scared!" " l know baby." "Just hold on." " Watch your feet!" " You wanna get hot?" "You wanna get hot?" " You fucking psychotic bitch!" " Zoë!" " Here suck on this for a while!" "Zoë!" "God damn it!" "Zoë!" "He's coming up!" "Get away from us you cocksucker!" "Leave us alone!" " Fuck you motherfucker!" " Fuck you!" "Zoë!" "Zoë!" "Zoë!" "Hold on!" " Zoë!" " Zoë!" "I don't want to die." "Look out!" "Get ready to fly bitch!" " Zoë!" " Zoë hold on!" "He's right on your ass." "He's right on your fucking ass." "Hey!" "Whoo-hoo!" "Hey ladies!" "That was fun!" "Well adios!" "Ow!" "Fuck!" "Shit!" "Fuck!" "Ooh I know I hit your ass!" "Better run motherfucker!" "Bitch!" "I'm okay!" "Oh shit!" "God damn it!" "Oh you fucking bitch!" "Of course you are." "Of course you are." "What was I thinking?" "What was I thinking?" "Zoë the fucking cat!" "Whew!" "That was a close one." "So where's the maniac?" "I shot him and his punk-ass sped off." "You wanna go get him?" "Oh hell yeah!" "Honey I think you might want to get out." "Fuck that shit." "Let's kill this bastard." "Okay get your ass in the back." "Let's go." "Fuck this mother" " Wait." " Where the fuck you going?" "I'll be back." "Yeah that'll smart." "Sweet." "Let's go." "Oh fuck yeah bitch!" "Come on." "Bring that shit." "Giddyap Kim!" "Yeah!" "Ohhh!" "Oh why?" "Oh no!" "Ah do it!" "Do it!" "Do it!" "Ohhhh no!" "No no no!" "No God" "All right get it together." "Get it" " Get it" "What are you" " What are you-- What are you gonna do?" "Kick his ass Zoë!" "Hey now I wanna play!" "Fucking fuck you!" "Where do you think you're fucking going?" "Where the fuck do you think you're going?" "Come here" "Go!" "What's wrong with your ass now motherfucking cocksucker?" "I got your ass!" "Oh you gonna wiggle your ass at me?" "Gonna wiggle it at me?" "Oh no." "Oh don't like it up the ass do ya ya redneck lunatic bastard?" " Oh yeah!" " Hola papi!" "Bitch I'm gonna bust a nut up in this bitch right now!" "Ow!" "I'm the horniest motherfucker on the road!" "Boo-yah bitch!" "Did you just hit a boat?" "Yeah Kim get him!" "Get him get him get him!" "Forget about the cows motherfucker!" "Move motherfucker move!" "Move motherfucker!" "I'm about to bust a nut up in this bitch motherfucker!" "Watch it watch it watch it watch it." "Tapping that ass!" "Tapping that ass!" "Tapping it tapping it tapp" "Stupid bastard." "Shit." "Oh you know I can't let you go... without tapping that ass..." "Oh fuck me!" " One..." " Kim?" " More..." " Kim?" "Time!" "Boo-yah!" "That's what the fuck I'm talking about bitch!" "Oh shit." "Aw come on!" "Come on!" "You thought you lost us motherfucker." "We back motherfucker." "We back." "Who's got you now bitch?" "Shit." "Come on!" "Here's Cha Cha!" "You miss us you lunatic bastard?" " l'm sorry!" " What?" "I didn't-- l didn't mean anything!" "I-- l was just playing around!" " Oh he was playing around." " He was just playing." "Well I ain't playing with you!" "Oh look out look out look out!" "Oh!" "Watch the sign!" "Oh shit!" "Aah!" " Whoa Kim..." " Oh sh" " Come on." " Don't run don't run motherfucker." "Don't run!" "Shit!" "Whoa!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Jesus fucking Christ!" "It's about time!" " Go Daddy go." " Just go go go go go go!" "Please don't dead-end." "Please don't dead-end." "Please don't dead-end." "Please don't dead-end." "Please don't dead-end." "Please don't dead-end." "Please don't dead-end." "Please don't dead-end." "Oh there the motherfucker is." " Go go go go!" " Get him get him get him!" "Ahh." "Help me!" "Oh help me!" "Be careful!" "My right arm's broken!" "This one?" "Oh you want some shit?" "Motherfucker kiss my fucking ass." "You piece of shit." "Bitch!" "Motherfucker!" "Motherfucker!" "Motherfucker!" "Asshole!"