"I first tasted semen when I was 7 years old." "Nothing to say?" "It's certainly a startling opening line." "What's that, irony?" "I'm sorry, let's start again." "What do you want to say to me?" "I'm here to listen to whatever you have to say." "I was raped by a priest when I was 7 years old." "Orally and anally, as they say in the court reports." "This went on for 5 years." "Every other day for 5 years." "I bled a lot, as you can imagine." "I bled a terrible amount." "Have you spoken to anyone about this?" "I'm speaking to you." "Now." "I mean, have you sought professional help?" "Why, so I could learn how to cope?" "So I could learn how to live with it?" "Maybe I don't want to cope." "Maybe I don't want to learn how to live with it." "Why don't you make a formal complaint?" "You can testify." "The man's dead." "I don't know what to say to you." "I have no answer for you, I'm sorry." "What good would it do anyway, if he were still alive?" "What would be the point in killing the bastard?" "That would be no news." "There's no point in killing a bad priest." "But killing a good one?" "That would be a shock now." "They wouldn't know what to make of that." "I'm going to kill you, Father." "I'm gonna kill you because you've done nothing wrong." "I'm gonna kill you because you're innocent." "Not right now, though." "I'll give you enough time to put your house in order." "Make your peace with God." "Sunday week, let's say." "I'll meet you down on the beach." "Down by the water." "Killing a priest on a Sunday." "That'll be a good one." "Do you not have anything to say to me, Father?" "Not right now, no." "But I'm sure I'll think of something by Sunday week." "Body of Christ." "Body of Christ." " Body of Christ." " Amen." " Body of Christ." " Amen." " Body of Christ." " Amen." "A little too much wine in the chalice again, there, Michael." "Sorry, Father." "I'm wondering is this some kind of ploy on your behalf." "Ploy, Father?" "I've noticed my stocks of booze appear to be somewhat diminished of late." "Is this some kind of ploy to cover up for the wine you've been imbibing on the QT." "I have no idea what you're talking about." "Father Leary noticed nothing amiss." "Father Leary does not know you as well as I do, Michael." "He may well underestimate the depths of your Machiavellian chicanery." "Can I go now, Father?" "What's the hurry?" "Have they called a meeting at Mafia Headquarters?" "On your way." "Things you hear in confession these days." "Hmm." "It's depressing." "You have to detach yourself from it." "We're here to provide solace." "Your personal feelings don't come into it." "I know that." "What do you take me for?" "It's difficult, though." "The mess people make of their lives." "What's the problem?" "Without going into details, obviously." "Your one with the big black eye on her." "Have you seen her?" "Veronica Brennan." "Yeah." "She's an odd one." "Things she comes out with." "It's like she's trying to drag you down into the muck." "Do you know what felching is?" "I do know what felching is, yeah." "I had to look it up." "This is you not going into details is it?" "Sorry." "Anyway, whatever's going on it's obviously all gotten out of hand." "She's getting knocked around now." "Well if you say anything to her she'll raise holy hell say it was the basis of something she said to you in confession." "We can't have that." "She'll get me excommunicated, the cow." "I'll have a word with her." "Jack as well." "Part of my pastoral duties and what have you." "Nothing to do with her confession or anything." "See what's going on." "Hmm." "That colored fella, the Ugandan?" "He's one of her lovers, I think." "Simon's from the Ivory Coast." "Right, right." "I knew it was that, or Guyana." "One of those African countries." "Guyana is in South America." "I don't think so, Father." "I was always pretty good at the auld geography." "Not bad." "Surprisingly." "I was expecting a daub." "Who are these two lads?" "Don't know." "I'm reading these ghost stories." "Maybe it's got something to do with that." "Spooky." "So, do you know who it was?" "Yes, I know who it was." "Do you know him well?" "Well enough." "Knowing this man as you do, do you think it was an idle threat?" "I don't know." "I'm not sure." "Not sure means it's possible." "Yes, I suppose." "You didn't grant him absolution, obviously." "He didn't ask for it." "Well there you have it." "The man is not penitent." "There is no contrition." "He's threatening to commit a crime, not asking for forgiveness for one." "The inviolability of the sacramental seal does not apply." "You're saying I should go to the police?" "I'm not saying anything, James." "The choice is yours." "Don't tell me." "You made the classic error." "You're supposed to cut down, not across." "This is Bruno." "And I always wanted a fast car." "A red one." "I thought you'd already had your mid-life crisis." "This old world may never change" "The way it's been" "And all the ways of war" "Can't change it back again" "You're a very nice-looking young woman." "Thank you." "I like your bow-tie." "It's got polka-dots." "This is my daughter, Fiona, Milo." "She's over from London." "You're having me on." "I'm not having you on." "What are you on about?" "But you're a priest." "I was married before I became a priest." "My wife and I had a child, Fiona." "My wife died." "And after that I joined the priesthood." "You can do that, can you?" "It would appear so." "Don't tell me." "You made the classic error." "I've already done that gag, Frank." "You're supposed to cut down." "I said I've already done it!" "Now, now!" "A drop of the hard stuff for yourself." "And a generous serving of the auld water of life for this beautiful, yet troubled..." "Oh, fuck off." "You've an exceedingly dirty mouth." "I like that in a hoor." "Brendan." "Now's not the time." "Whatever you say, Father." "You're the boss." "How's that working out for you?" "I haven't been on the tear in a good while." "So you say." "No, no, I've been a very good lad." "And don't change the subject." "What was the subject?" "You know what the subject was." "Oh, Daddy, a man." "A man." "What else." "It's getting to be a habit, honey." "I know." "It's pathetic." "I can't do anything right." "Nice shades." "Do they make me look like Jackie O?" "Not really, no." "This what you came to gawp at?" "Nasty, huh?" "An interesting color." "They say you can find beauty in everything, if you look hard enough." "Well I'd say you can find beauty in most things not everything." "That's nonsense." "What would I know?" "I'm just an auld washerwoman." "Listen, if you don't want to talk to me, that's fine." "I'm not here to compel you to do anything." "You never know, Father... maybe I'd like to be compelled." "Maybe I'd enjoy it." "I'll have a word with Jack." "See what he has to say for himself." "Grand Inquisitor, huh?" "Go on ahead for yourself so." "I'm sure he'll be only too pleased to have someone else to bore the ears off." "I stopped listening to his auld shite a long time ago." "That's how it is, is it?" "I'm sorry, I didn't realize." "You thought we were another Grace Kelly and Prince Rainier?" "Well now, that wasn't a very happy marriage, so it's not a great analogy." "That's what I've always liked about you, Father." "You're just a little too sharp for this parish." "Mad fella he was." "Decapitated the two of them." "Blood all over the place." "Hiya, Father." "Jack." "Could I have a word..." "in private?" "Sounds ominous." "Where's Johnnie Cochran when you need him, huh?" "I hope we don't get locked in here." "We'll have to make love to keep warm." "I had a word with Veronica, Jack." "You were out to the house, were you?" "ls everything all right?" "Everything's fine." "I mean, no, everything's not fine." "Mass on Sunday, with the shades and everything?" "Ah, that." "Yes, that." "Are you laying into her or what's going on?" "That wasn't me, now." "No, no, that's that" "Black fella that she's been seeing." "The colored fella she's been seeing." "I didn't mean to be racist." "That was a slip of the tongue." "Are you saying he beats her up?" "Don't quote me, but that's what I'm assuming." "Yeah." "I mean, she speaks in riddles half of the time," "I can't make any sense out of her." "I think she's bi-polar, or lactose-intolerant, one of the two." "I don't know where I am with her any more, Father." "And if I'm honest with you, I'm kinda glad to have her off my hands." "What, even if this new fella's knocking her about?" "But what's that to do with me?" "What?" "Not everyone can carry the weight of the world." "What about your marriage?" "The oaths you took?" "Listen." "She's happier now that she's seeing him." "A lot more settled down, a lot calmer." "And I'm not under surveillance any more." "I can just reel in whatever time I like." "So everybody's happy." "Where's the harm in that?" "Shall I cut you a side of beef to take home?" "It's freshly slaughtered." "Simon." "Hello, Father." "I'm rather busy today." "It's not about my car." "It's about Mrs. Brennan." "You're her boyfriend?" "I fuck her from time to time." "Does that make me her boyfriend?" "Does around here." "She has a lot of boyfriends, so I've heard." "Is that right?" "Do you want me to confess to adultery?" "Is that why you are here?" "Somebody beat her up." "She told you I beat her up?" "No, she didn't." "Then why are you here?" "Somebody beat her up." "It's either you or the husband." "I do not think Jack beat her up." "He's not the type." "What is the type?" "Some of them like to be hit, you know." "Who?" "White women." "Irish women." "Do not ask me why." "You would have to be a psychiatrist." " That's nonsense." " No, no, they like to be hit." "In certain situations they beg for it, in fact." "So she got what was coming to her, did she?" "I was speaking generally." "Oh, you were speaking generally." "Well I'm speaking specifically." " Don't do it again." " You cannot tell me what to do." "We're not in the Missions now." "Oh, the Missions, right." "Are you going to chop off my hand if I disobey you?" "You know your history, that's grand." "I like to read." "You probably think that Black people cannot" "Yeah, Black people, White people, blah, blah, blah." "Run along now, Father." "Your sermon is finished." "Better watch your step there." "Why is that?" "Well, if it was him who was laying into her, you'll have to tread very carefully there." "It's a very sensitive area." "You'll have to explain this to me, Father." "I'm afraid you've lost me completely." "The Church can't be seen to be getting involved in matters of diversity." "Do you know?" "Oh, you mean if beating her up is one of those ethnic rituals or something?" "Like when they do that thing when they shake hands?" "You're mocking me now, I can tell." "We have to be very circumspect in those areas, is all I'm saying." "Oh, I'll be very circumspect, Father." "Don't you worry about that." "That's why he said" "I need someone to love me" "Need somebody to carry me home" "To San Francisco" "How is all?" "At death's door." "You?" "Same." "Still using the old typewriter, I see." "Bit of an affectation." "My whole life has been an affectation." "That's one of those lines that sounds witty but doesn't actually make much sense." "Caught out again." "How's the latest masterpiece coming?" "Better than Cecelia Ahern, but not as good as Banville." "You could say that about everybody." "Now what have you got for me?" "Ooh." "Oh!" "Need anything else?" "A gun." "Huh?" "A Walther PPK should suffice." "James Bond's weapon of choice." "Old Adolf killed himself with one in the bunker." "That's the plan, is it?" "I've no intention of writhing around in agony for hours on end when the time comes." "Not knowing who I am or where I am." "Nonsense." "Pragmatism." "Where would I get a gun from?" "Oh, come on now, give me a break." "You've never been short of guns in this country, have you?" "God, you're awful maudlin today, I must say." "You don't have any photographs." "No." "I'm in agreement with the Apaches on that score." "The Apaches?" "The Apaches." "The Arapaho." "The Hunkpapa Sioux." "Not even one of mum?" "I don't need a photograph to remember your mother." "Memories fade, though." "That's what's so terrible about them." "No, they don't." "Not really." "I should buy a cane." "It would suit you." "You're old beyond your years." "Give me a feeling of imperiousness." "And you could lean on it." "I could lean on it." "Reflectively." "Point things out." "Club someone to death with it." "A blunt instrument, yeah." "Who, though?" "A certain young man from Rathmines." "Aren't all instruments blunt?" "Flugelhorns?" "Who's this now?" "This is my daughter, Fiona." "Oh, right." "Like a French novel or something." "What was the fella's name?" "Bernanos." "Michael Fitzgerald." "I bought the big house up the road." "Haven't seen you at Mass recently..." "I've been too busy." "I was thinking of getting a chapel built on the grounds." "Like Brideshead Revisited." "Then you could pop in freelance." "Save me the trouble." "Lovely creature." "Really expensive, too." "Prime horse flesh this is." "Interesting man, your father." "That right?" "A fine man." "Nobody round here has a bad word to say about him." "Makes you wonder what he's hiding." "God, you're a fucking prick." "Oh, feisty!" "I'm only codding." "No offense meant, as they say." "Father, swing by the house one afternoon." "I have a proposition might interest you." " Really?" " Yes, really." "A financial proposition." "That interests you, doesn't it?" "It would be a black day when the Catholic Church is no longer interested in money." "Huh?" "!" "Inspector Stanton." "The clergy at this time of the night." "When I could be getting up to all sorts." "Well, hey, Fada." "Whaddaya hear, whaddaya say!" "I'm sorry." "I didn't realize you had company." "It's only little Leo." "You checking out my ass, Fada?" "No." "He's only messing with you, Father." "What can I do for you?" "Oh, I've nothing to hide from Leo." "Have I, Leo?" "Your life's an open book, Gerry." "Like your ass." "Is this a police matter, Father?" "No, it's a personal..." "a personal thing." "It's a personal, a personal thing." "You look worried, Fada." "My advice, take it on the lamaster, huh." "You don't wanna drop in for the phonus-balonus and wind up with a sock in the kisser." "Get me?" "He's not in the mood, Leo." "Maybe I can cheer up the old sourpuss." "I'll show you a good time, Fada." "'Good Time Leo', that's me." "Although it'll be extra if I let you wear the cassock." "I know what you holy-rollers are like when you get going." "Hell's bells, mama!" "I'm outta here." "He's a character, huh?" "What's troubling you, Father?" "You seem agitated." "I need a favor." "My great-grandfather's." "Said he took it off one of the Cairo Gang when they shot them all on Bloody Sunday." "The first Bloody Sunday, obviously." "You ever had call to use it?" "Yeah." "I killed a man with it once in the Wicklow Mountains." "What case was that?" "He was just pissing me off." "Somebody been threatening you, Father?" "What have you been up to now?" "Not you as well, huh?" "What did you say you wanted it for, Father?" "I didn't say." "I'd say you wanted it for your dog." "The dog's dying." "It's in pain." "You're worried you may have to put it out of its misery one of these days." "Isn't that right?" "My dog's dying." "It's in pain." "I'm worried I might have to put it out of its misery one of these days." "An act of compassion?" "Well I can't argue with that." "I'm a compassionate man myself." " I had one of those, you know." "Early on." " One of what?" "Pedophile priest." "20 years ago now this was, in Dublin." "Young girl made a complaint." "A rape." "What happened?" "What do you think happened?" "I arrested the bastard, 48 hours later" "I was packing my bags and making my way out West." "They moved you on?" "Reassigned, yeah." "What happened to him?" "I was told they were sending him to one of the missions overseas." "Africa." "He could do whatever he wanted over there, I suppose." "Thanks, anyway." "Like the man in the dicky bow says, Father," ""Protect yourself at all times"." "How long have you been at this craic?" "Last couple of years." "Supposed to be therapeutic." "Maybe I should take it up." "Maybe you should." "Are you seeing someone in London?" "I assume you mean professionally rather than..." "Just stop all this carry-on." "If you can't talk to me, you should talk to someone." "I suppose I should." "Enjoying yourselves?" "Yeah, we are, yeah." "Lovely day." "It is in deed, yeah." "Stamps." "That's the future of the priesthood." "Milo." "I need to speak to you, Father." "Take a pew." "Literally." "Why do people kill themselves, Father?" ""Why do people kill themselves?"" "That's jumping in at the deep end." "Lots of reasons, I suppose." "Why do you think yourself?" "I dunno." "Drink." "Depression." "Lack of sex, maybe." "You're a presentable young man." "I wouldn't have thought you'd have much trouble." "I don't have the gift of the gab." "Never had it." "That's making you feel suicidal?" "More bored than anything else." "It's either committing suicide or joining the Army." "Well those are pretty drastic choices either way." "You can learn a trade if you join the Army." "You can learn a trade if you don't join the Army." "You can experience more of life." "You think you can become a more authentic person by fighting in a war?" "By killing people?" "You're against me joining the Army, is what I'm sensing." "Well let's put it this way." "I've always felt there's something psychopathic about someone who joins the Army in peacetime." "People join the Army because they want to find out what it's like to kill someone." "I hardly think that's an inclination that should be encouraged in modern society, do you?" "Jesus Christ didn't think so either." "And the commandment 'thou shalt not kill' does not have an asterisk beside it referring you to a footnote where you'll find a list of instances where it's okay to kill people." "What about self-defense?" "That's a tricky one all right." "We're hardly being invaded, though, are we?" "The war on terror has no borders." "I don't think Sligo is too high on Al-Qaeda's agenda, Milo, do you?" "Who knows what goes on in the Muslim mind?" "I have had murderous feelings, though, I have to admit." "Not getting laid." "It's starting to make me feel really angry towards women." "And so I thought if I join the Army, those inclinations would be seen as a plus." "On your application." "They don't come right out and say that's what they're looking for." "In the advertisements it's all about seeing the world and all that shite." "Wanting to murder someone would be like having a degree in engineering." "It would outweigh my lack of qualifications." "Right." "Do you use pornography at all?" "I've exhausted all the possibilities of pornography." " All of them?" " Well, nearly all of them." "I'm on to transsexual pornography at the moment." "Chicks with dicks, you know?" "Maybe there's a simpler solution." "Leave home." "Go where your chances of meeting women with loose morals are increased proportionately." "Sligo town, do you mean?" "No." "I was thinking more Dublin, London, New York." "New York?" "I'd only end up getting Aids knowing my luck." "Thanks for taking the time to talk to me, Father." "I can't say it's been much help." "It's good to get these things out in the open, I suppose." "FITZGERALD;" "Pull!" "Pull!" "Pull!" "They've all left me, you know." "That's why the place is so empty." "Like a tomb." "Who's left you?" "The wife." "The kids." "Even Consuela, and she's from Ecuador." "So you'd think she wouldn't have that many options, but apparently not." "I'm sorry to hear that." "You mentioned a financial proposition?" "I'd like to make amends." "Do penance for past sins." "Although..." "I suppose all sins are past, otherwise they wouldn't be sins, they'd just be evil thoughts floating around in your mind." "Why do you wear the auld soutane, by the way?" "Are you trying to make a statement or something?" "Look at this watch." "Here." "That's making a statement." "That's a Tag Heuer." "Very expensive." "Are you gonna get to the point, Mr. Fitzgerald, or are you just going to ramble on?" "Let me ask you a question." "What do you see when you look at me?" "I'll tell you what you see." "You see a handsome, sophisticated, eminent man in the prime of his life." "A colossus, let's say." "A colossus who once bestrode the world of high finance ...and became profoundly influential in certain spheres not to say inordinately wealthy, not to say sickeningly wealthy, let's face it." "Are you sure I can't tempt you?" "I'll stick to the water." "I heard you liked a drink." "I liked it too much." "There's no such thing as too much." "There's only not enough!" "Where was I?" "Talking about money, what else." "Now, now." "Got out in time, did you?" "Before it all came crashing down?" "It was the perfect getaway, Father." "They say charges are going to be filed against me for various so-called irregularities but sure the Guards are always threatening guff like that." "They'd have to charge half the financiers and half the bank managers along with them then troop into Government and charge those cunts as well." "And that's not gonna happen." "No, there'll be no punishment forthcoming for a man such as myself." "There never is." "Still, I do feel a modicum of guilt about the whole thing." "A modicum." "Do you?" "Well I feel like I ought to feel guilty." "And isn't that the same thing?" "I love this one." "Really expensive." "Not quite sure what it's supposed to mean, though." "Why does it have to mean anything?" "Everything has to mean something, otherwise what's the point?" "Of course, I don't have to know what it means." "I own it." "That's enough." "That's all that matters?" "Ownership?" "Possession?" "How much land does the Church own?" "How much gold?" "That's the Church, that's not me." "You are a representative of the Church, are you not?" "If you say so." "I do say so, yes." "I think you're a very judgmental man, Father." "Yes, I am." "But I try not to be." "You think I don't have any feelings?" "You think I don't care...?" "I think you don't want to do penance at all." "I think you asked me here to make fun of me." "But when you do want to do penance, sincerely you can give me a call, at any time, and I'll try my best to help you." "I could piss on this, you know." "I said I love it, I don't." "It doesn't mean anything to me." "I could take it down right now and piss on it." "Do you want me to do that, do you?" "Why would I want you to do that?" "!" "I don't know." "So I can have some sort of 'spiritual revelation'?" "Some sort of fucking epiphany?" "Huh?" "Okay." "Let's go." "All right." "I'll give you an epiphany." "Well, I don't know now." "People like you have pissed on everything else, I suppose, so why not that, too?" "You have your totems, I see." "Who is it?" "French couple." "Head on." "She was totally unscathed." "He got fucked." "Wrong side of the road?" "Car full of young ones hit them." "Drunk, of course." "How many?" "5." "And I'm including the Frenchman." "Dear God." "Marine biologist he was." "That's where I'd like to be." "Under the sea." "Where are the young ones?" "The morgue." "Best place for them." "Every life is sacred, Frank, for God's sake." "Now, some are less sacred than others." "Through this holy anointing may the Lord in His love and mercy help you with the grace of the Holy Spirit." "Amen." "May the Lord who frees you from sin save you..." " ...and raise you up." " Amen." "Have you performed the Last Rites many times?" "Yes." "Usually with older people, of course." "You have time to prepare for it." "Everybody knows what's coming." "It is easier?" "It's never easy." "More understandable, let's say." "Less unfair." "Situations like this one people are shocked." "The randomness of it." "They curse God." "Curse their fellow man." "They lose their faith in some cases." "They lose their faith?" "It must not have been much of a faith to begin with, if it is so easy for them to lose it." "Yes, but..." "but what is faith?" "For most people it's the fear of death, nothing more than that." "If that's all it is, it's very easy to lose." "He was a good man, your husband?" "Yes." "He was a good man." "We had a very good life together." "We loved each other very much." "And now he has gone." "And that is not unfair." "That is just what happened." "But many people... don't live good lives." "They don't feel love." "That is what is unfair." "I feel sorry for them." "Will you say a prayer with me, Teresa?" "Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee." "Blessed art thou amongst women." "Blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus." "Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death." "Amen." "Finished with all your gobbledegook?" "How is she holding up?" "She's a strong woman." "Good-looking, too." "I could be in there." "I have a thing for widows." "Did I ever tell you?" "I think you might have done." "Your material is getting a little stale after all." "The atheistic doctor, it's a clichéd part to play." "There aren't that many good lines." "One part humanism to nine parts gallows humor." "Playing you, though, now... that might be interesting." "Playing me." "Who's 'me'?" "The good priest." "Excuse me, won't you." "I have to go kill somebody." "How long was I out?" "Ages." "Eons." "Did I ever tell you the story about Fionn Mac Cumhaill and another big strong lad called Cicsatoin?" "They were up at the top of..." "They were at the top of the Ox Mountains." "Cicsatoin challenged Fionn to throw a boulder into the sea at Easkey, claiming that he couldn't do it." "Fionn accepted the challenge." "Cicsatoin's boulder landed on the shore creating such waves that the sea has not been the same since which is why the Easkey coastline is internationally renowned for its surfing." "Fionn's boulder landed short." "Landed here." "He drew his sword." "Split the rock in two." "And it's said that should someone be foolhardy enough to pass through the rock 3 times ...they will be squished into tiny little lumps." "Unceremoniously." "Not a lot of poetry in that recital." "Not a lot of romance." "I'm sick to death of romance." "There was a Japanese writer, committed suicide." "He wrote out a list beforehand of all the famous suicides throughout history." "He included Christ." "Sounds like a smartarse." "In the Middle Ages they would have said I was possessed by demons." "Maybe you were." "Maybe they were nearer the mark back then." "You think what happened was unimportant." "Insignificant in the great scheme of things." "To provoke such a reaction." "But what may..." "But what may mean nothing to you may be very important to me." "I'd never say it was unimportant." "I'd just say the choices you make when you're 30 are not the same choices you make when you're 60." "That's irrelevant." "Every moment of living has its own logic, its own meaning." "Maybe so." "Maybe you're right there." "I'll have to think about that." "It's a tired old argument, I suppose." "But what about those you leave behind?" "I belong to myself, not to anybody else." "True." "False." "You'll tell me it would have been a mortal sin, I suppose." "Would I have suffered eternal damnation, Father?" "God is great." "The limits of His mercy have not been set." "Is this where you want to be buried?" "Why in hell would I want to be buried in a God-forsaken place like this?" "Where then?" "Père Lachaise?" "Next to dear old Oscar?" "No." "Next to Apollinaire and Max Ophüls." "Oh, very fancy, I must say." "I have your gun for you, by the way." "Yeah, right." "I do so." "Webley." "Circa 1920." "Still in good working order, though." "Or so I've been told by a man who would know." "Well, hand it over, then." "I don't have it on me." "I knew it." "Worried I might follow through with it, huh?" "You might take a potshot at me, for all I know." "Why would I do that?" "What have you ever done to me except talk garbage?" "That doesn't mean anything." "Bloody idiots can't even be bothered coming up with a reason for murder these days." "Wake up in a foul mood and it's bang bang bang." "Oh, I don't know about that." "Some people have very good reasons." "Which of the lads are you here to see, Father?" "Freddie Joyce." "Freddie Joyce." "He m..." "I know who he is." "What in the hell do you wanna see him for?" "He's an old pupil of mine." "He asked to see me." "You know I've asked them to hang me." "There's no capital punishment in Ireland, Freddie, as you well know." "Why do you want them to hang you?" "Because that's the way Lesley Ryan died." "Are you saying you feel remorse?" "I'm not a monster." "Do I look like a monster?" "What do monsters look like?" "I had the cops in here the other day." "The third degree." "Wanting to go over all the gory details." "Which I'm sure you were only too happy to provide." "They're obsessed with cannibalism." ""What did it taste like?"" "I told them it tasted like pheasant." "A bit gamey." "Good for you." "Make a joke about it." "Why were they...?" "It's the same as always." "They wanna know where the last one is." "The one they never found." "The one I connected up." "Why can't you tell them, Freddie?" "Give the family some kind of peace." "I wanted to, Father, but for the life of me I cannot remember where I put it." "I know it was in the woods somewhere." "Where did I leave my keys?" "No!" "I wasn't in my right mind." "You know, LSD." "It was like a..." "fairytale." "You said all that at the trial, Freddie." "Getting kind of tiresome now." "She was a lovely she was a lovely girl." "You know she told me that she'd been abused before." "So I says, "Well, once more won't make any difference then"." "You see the light go out in their eyes... and you become God." "No you don't!" "No- you- don't." "Why am I here?" "!" "I just wanted someone to talk to." "I don't think you feel any guilt whatsoever about anything that you've done." "No, I do." "I do, Father." "I believe what the Bible teaches." "I believe that if I repent my sins that I'll be forgiven and I'll be able to go up to Heaven and I'll see those girls and I'll tell them how sorry I am." "And I'll hug them and I'll kiss them and I'll love them with a real true love and I'll have no desire to hurt them in any way." "God made me, didn't he?" "I mean, didn't he?" "So he understands me." "He must do." "Don't you think?" "I think if God can't understand you, Freddie no-one can." "You know they're foreclosing on me." "Who?" "The banks." "Who else?" "Sorry to hear that." "How come I never hear your mob preaching about that?" "About what?" "All these bankers that have brought the country to its knees." "Still throwing people out of their homes for not making their payments." "I never hear your mob talking about that." "Those are sins, too, aren't they?" "Yes, they are." "I suppose... when you've a history of screwing the Jews out of their money and collaborating with the Nazis, it's like the pot calling the kettle black, huh?" "I suppose it is." "Getting full use out of your library card there, Brendan." "The library's been shut down." "Did you not hear?" "Cutbacks." "You not dancing, Milo?" "I don't like this music." "What music do you like?" "Dolly Parton." "Dolly Parton's good, yeah." "Great cocaine." "Very moreish." "Purely medicinal, Father." "How was your man Joyce?" "It's been a tough day, let's put it that way." "How can you hope to connect with someone like that?" "Who are you talking about?" "Not Freddie Joyce?" "I visited him in prison today." "Why?" "Prisoners deserve spiritual guidance as much as anyone else." "Maybe more so." "Is that right?" "So they can find God and then say God has absolved them of all their sins and what they did didn't really matter anyways because now they're saved?" "Something like that, yeah." "Calm down." "You don't know what you're talking about." "Would you mind the drinks!" "For Christ's sake!" "He's had that coming a long time." "You know yourself." "Fine-looking man." "I'd watch yourself around him." "I gave up cocaine a long time ago." "You took cocaine?" "Come on." "Let's dance." "What did they call it in your day, jive?" "Come on." "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." "Say one Our Father and ten Hail Marys." "I've sinned more than that." "Make an ascent of Croagh Patrick, then, on your knees." "On my knees, is it?" "What made you say that?" "Your church is on fire." "Fuck off, Brendan, I'm not in the mood." "Your church is on fire!" "Jesus Christ." "I've called the fire brigade, Father." "For all the good it'll do." "They'll never get here in time." "Why didn't anybody see?" "Daddy, stay away." "Daddy, come away!" "Why didn't anybody see?" "They're probably gonna blame you for this." "Professional job." "I'll say that for them." "Any fool can start a fire, for fuck's sake." "Who would do a thing like this?" "Somebody with a grudge against the Church, obviously." "That could be half the country." "Unless there's a personal angle." "How do you mean?" "Nobody with a grudge against you, Father, no?" "Who would have a grudge against you?" "Maybe this is the future, huh?" "Maybe it'll all be ruins one day." "Maybe one day kids will say to their parents in amazement, they used to believe in what?" "An auld lad up in the sky?" "And if we're good we'll go to Heaven?" "And if we're bad we'll go to Hell?" "You know for a policeman you seem to know very little about human nature." "Maybe you're right." "You'd know more than me." "But don't touch anything now." "I'll have to get the forensic boys down the supercilious pricks." "What do we do now?" "We'll have to rebuild it, I suppose." "Maybe use bricks next time." "Might be a good idea." "Ah God, Father." "Is this about the coke?" "I can take it or leave it." "Really?" "Yeah." "Most people can." "The only ones who can't had problems to begin with." "We shouldn't write them off, though, the ones with problems to begin with." "What do you want to do with your life, Veronica?" "Nothing." "'Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow" "'They toil not, neither do they spin.'" "Very nice quotation." "Ah sure, everybody knows that one." "It's hackneyed, yeah." "Like 'turn the other cheek' or 'judge not, lest ye be judged'." "I'd like to be an actress, maybe." "I've an absent father and a domineering mother." "That's a start." "When did your dad leave?" "He didn't leave, he was killed." "Murdered?" "!" "Hunting accident." "Completely random." "So there's no use persevering, Father." "I'm a lost cause." "No-one is a lost cause, Veronica." "Who is it?" "I don't know who it is." "You said you did." "I have no evidence it's the same man." "It's the same man." "Takes a lot of nerve to burn down a church." "Helps if you have a burning sense of grievance, if you'll pardon the..." "We have to ask ourselves, what does this man want?" "Well, he wants to be loved, of course." "We all want to be loved." "Failing that, he wants to be... admired." "Failing that, he wants to be feared." "Failing that, he wants to be hated and despised." "We should beware the man who wants to be hated and despised." "Don't you think?" "I think you read that in a book, Your Excellency." "I think he wants to stir up some sort of feeling in others, that's true." "Doesn't want to be ignored any more." "Wants to make contact." "He made contact all right." "Who is it?" "Dreadful business, I must say." "Some little blackguard running riot, I wouldn't wonder." "What can you do in this day and age?" "True dat." "Sorry about the other day, Father." "That was the drink talking." "What can we do for you?" "It's off the back of what I was saying." "And it seems more necessary now than ever." "I'd like to make a donation." "Oh!" "That would be grand." "To salve your conscience?" "Surely that's in the nature of all philanthropy." "The expiation of guilt." "I'm sure you've nothing major to feel guilty about, Mr. Fitzgerald." "Oh, you'd be surprised, Father." "Call me Michael." "Michael it is." "Any charity is always gratefully received." "I know." "I believe that's Church doctrine." "We all know the Church needs all the help it can get, especially these days." "Why would you say that?" "Well, with all the compensation that's been paid out over the last few years." "And that's only the Yanks." "And we all know they weren't the worst." "I don't know about that, now." "And most of those cases were 40 or 50 years ago." "Raking up old ground it always seemed to me." "Time to forgive and forget." "I agree, I agree." "What's past is past." "Time to move on." "Et cetera, et cetera." "Would you like a cup of tea, Michael, or maybe something stronger?" "Do you have any crystal meth?" "No, no, I can't stop." "So what are we talking about?" "10?" "20?" "20,000?" "20,000 euros, yeah." "Well, that would be grand." "That would help with getting the initial building work off the ground." "20 it is then." "This is a David Oscarson pen." "It's really expensive." "Oh, it's lovely." "Why not make it 50?" "Ah now, Father." "If money's no object, make it 50." "Why not make it 100?" "It means nothing to me." "I know it doesn't." "100,000 euros for your pet project, Father." "What do you say to that?" "I say thank you, Mr. Fitzgerald." "What was Stanton getting at?" "If I could tell you I would." "You know that." "I thought I was the one supposed to be in trouble, not you." "How's the fish?" "Too many little bones." "Isn't that always the way." "I'm not stopping." "Meeting the fella." "You're informing me of your adultery in advance?" "Isn't that more honest than in the confessional when it's all done and dusted and there's nothing you can do about it?" "What are you expecting him to do about it?" "Stop me from committing a mortal sin." "You have to stop yourself." "I can't stop you." "Then what good are you at all?" "There's my ride, as it were." "Let's do this again sometime." "Do you have to put up with that kind of shit on a regular basis?" "There's a lot of it going around, let's put it that way." "We really should talk, you know." "Get it all out." "Like in one of those shit plays at the Abbey?" "I don't know what the third act revelation would be, though." "Neither do I." "Your mother dying killed a little something in both of us, I know that." "It was a long goodbye if ever there was one." "Sometimes I wish she hadn't have hung on as long as she did." "She was stubborn, all right." "Brave, too, though." "Wonder if I'll be as brave when the time comes." "It wasn't just her dying." "You were missing in action a long time." "Before and after." "When I needed you most." "I was never neglectful, I don't think." "I never hit you or anything." "There are other forms of violence." "I know there are." "Attempting suicide, for one." "Jesus." "I walked into that one." "It's not only violence against yourself, either." "It wasn't intended that way." "I never meant to hurt you." "How could it not hurt me?" "I love you." "I love you, too." "Don't ever doubt that." "But, Dad..." "Dad, just when I thought I had you back... and you were shipshape and raring to go, go you did." "I thought it would be another woman." "Fiona, I have a vocation." "I wasn't trying to escape." "I know that." "I know you're sincere." "But, Dad, the fact remains first mum went away and then you went away." "And I lost two parents for the price of one." "I never went anywhere." "I'm still here." "I think you're being a bit naive, there, Father." "I'm still here." "I'll always be here." "Will you?" "You promise?" "I'll always be here." "And you'll always be here." "How's that for a third act revelation?" "It's corny." "But I like it." "Here." "As long as there is chicken gravy on your rice" "Everything is nice" "Here's mud in your eye." "Great stuff!" "You know how you can tell when you're really getting old?" "How?" "No-one ever says the word 'death' around you anymore." "Bruno." "Bruno." "Oh, Bruno." "What has he done to you, Bruno?" "I forgot to say goodbye to Bruno." "I'll give him a big kiss from you." "Oh, do." "I'll be fine, you know." "Will you?" "Well, let's just say, today I'm fine." "So you say." "Hello." "Where are you off to?" "The beach." "It's nice at the beach, isn't it?" "Yeah." "Do you surf?" "No, my Da won't let me." "Says it's too dangerous." "What does he know?" "Big meanie." "Are you here on holidays?" "Where are you from?" "Wicklow?" "Yeah." "Never mind." "We won't hold it against you." "Janine!" "Get in the car." "What were you saying to her?" "I wasn't saying anything to her." "Oh, really?" "You looked deep in fucking conversation to me!" "Where the hell did you get to, honey?" "I've been looking all over for you." "Large one." "Are you sure about that?" "Whiskey, I said." "Who burned down your church, Father?" "If you don't mind me asking." "It's not my church." "It's our church." "I'd say it was the Romanians." "They're awful heathens, the Romanians." "What Romanians do we have around here?" "They're always hanging around, Romanians." "Getting up to no good." "Must be someone who doesn't like you, Father." "I think it must be one of the good people in this town." "You should join the Guards, Simon, with your powers of deduction." "These measures, Father." "Like a buttercup in the mouth of a cow." "Pint there, please, Brendan." "So you're sure there's a God, then, Father, yeah?" "Hey, I'm not codding." "I'm being serious." "I'm asking because I'm having doubts myself." "I'm having a crisis of faith." "Don't be getting offended." "I'm sorry." "Really I am!" "As sure as there's a hole in a goat." "Don't be going away mad." "I'm an awful messer." "One scotch, one bourbon" "Hey, Fada." "Whaddaya hear, whaddaya say." "You're back?" "I got a lotta clients in this town, Fada." "From the hoi polloi to the masses of society." "I gotta keep my ass lubricated at all times." "The hoi polloi are the masses of society." "You're using the phrase incorrectly." "You know, that may be so, Fada." "I didn't get no education, see." "I was getting fucked in the ass and in the face all day long." "There wasn't time for any book-learning." "I was sucking the prick of a bishop in his bishopric on a regular basis." "How do you like that play on words, smartass?" "Do you need help?" "You're starting to sound a little screwy." "Maybe you need to see a head shrinker yourself." "Do you need help?" "Are you okay?" "Hey!" "Fada!" "There's nothing wrong with me, Fada." "All right?" "I'm feeling fine." "You know when I first started out, working up in Dublin there was this 3 year old boy." "Parents brought him into the hospital, a routine operation." "But the anesthetist, he made a mistake." "The little boy ended up deaf dumb... blind and paralyzed." "For good." "Think of it." "Think of when that little boy first regained consciousness." "In the dark." "You'd be frightened, wouldn't you?" "But you'd be frightened in the kind of a way that you know that the fear is going to end." "It has to." "It must." "Your parents couldn't be too far away." "They'll come to your rescue." "They'll turn the light on and they'll talk to you." "But, think of it." "Nobody comes to rescue you." "No light is turned on." "You are in the dark." "You try to speak but you can't." "You try to move... but you can't." "You try to cry out but you are unable to hear your own screams." "You are entombed within your own body ...howling with terror." "What the fuck?" "Why the fuck would you tell me a story like that?" "No reason." "Some people are awful touchy." "Good luck now!" "Babe, you can't hold me" "I'm too slippery" "I do no sleeping" "I get lonely" "But you can touch me if you want to" "But I got poison" "I just might bite you" "Lie in circles on the sunlight" "Shine like diamonds" "It's time to go." "Come on." "He's still drinking." "Same here." "Time to go, I said." "What's that, an order?" "You do not like taking orders, Father?" "You don't mind giving them." "His kind are all alike." "My 'kind'." "Yeah, your 'kind'." "Your time has gone, you don't even fucking realize it." "My time will never be gone." "Did you hear that?" "The arrogance of the man." "You need to be a little more humble, Father." "Needs taking down a peg or two." "Take me down then." "Go on." "I fucking dare you." "Jesus Christ." "What happened to you?" "Brendan Lynch." "Brendan Lynch?" "He's a Buddhist." "So what if he's a fucking Buddhist?" "!" "You think Buddhists don't beat people up?" "!" "You think Buddhists don't fuck their kids like everyone else?" "Well, you're obviously very upset." "Tibetans spit on blind people in the street!" "They're killing albinos in Africa!" "You're so fucking naive!" "Please don't curse at me, Father." "We'll continue in the morning when you're sober." "Why are you a fucking priest at all?" "!" "You should be a fucking accountant in an insurance firm!" "Dirty thing." "Let's go home." "What is it?" "Nothing." "You're leaving?" "I think it's for the best." "Because of last night?" "Because of a lot of things." "Not just last night, or what's happened here." "I've been having doubts, if you must know." "Listen, I'm sorry about what I said last night." "You said what you said with such venom." "I didn't realize you hated me that much." "I don't hate you at all." "Then why?" "It's just you have no integrity." "That's the worst thing I could say about anybody." "Well, that's that's just..." "I hope you find what you're looking for." "Good luck." "Everybody talks about a new world in the morning" "A new world in the morning so they say" "I myself don't talk about a new world in the morning" "A new world in the morning that's today" "And I can feel a new tomorrow coming on" "And I don't know why I have to make a song" "Everybody talks about a new world in the morning" "New world in the morning takes so long" "Father?" "Hello." "You are going to Dublin?" "Yeah." "Just getting away for a while, you know." "I heard about your church." "A terrible thing." "Yes." "You must be very upset." "Yes, I am." "I'm bringing him home..." "to his family in Italy." "Dublin and then..." "Rome." "How have you been?" "People here have been very kind to me." "No, I mean..." "You know... sometimes I think I cannot go on." "But I will go on." "Father." "Little early for Mass." "Doctor Harte was out fishing at the crack of dawn." "He begrudgingly gave me a ride." "Where are you headed?" "Just down the beach." "Can I come along?" "Not really, no." "Maybe later." "That's fine." "You know, I don't wanna keep you." "Did you finish your book?" "Yes, I did." "I don't know how good it is." "I'm sure it'll be extraordinary." "You're a very fine writer." "Thank you, James." "You know you changed the subject the other day when we were talking?" "What was the subject?" "You know what the subject was." "I think you committed a sin of omission there, if truth be told." "Sure there are worse sins than sins of omission." "Well now you'd be the expert in that department, Father." "I think there's too much talk about sins, to be honest and not enough talk about virtues." "You might be right." "What would be your number one?" "I think forgiveness has been highly underrated." "I forgive you." "Do you forgive me?" "Always." "Thinking of throwing yourself in?" "They say that's the easy way out." "Nothing easy about it, I wouldn't have thought." "I'm in a bad way, Father." "No, I'm not putting you on." "The truth is, I've been in a bad way for a long time." "Not wanting to do anything." "Feeling of nothing being worthwhile." "A sense of disassociation." "Detachment." "I had a wife and kids they meant nothing to me." "I have money, it means nothing to me." "I have life it means nothing to me." "Where do you think it comes from... the sense of detachment?" "From nowhere." "From nowhere." "Listen, I've to meet someone now but I'll call up to the house after." "We'll talk." "Get you back on track." "Okay?" " Okay?" " Thank you." "Thank you, Father." "Thank you." "All right?" "Are you all right?" "Yeah." "Take your hands out of your pockets." "Slowly." "Why?" "I heard you had a gun." "I have to say I'm surprised." "Thought I'd have to go looking for you." "Just because I'm here, doesn't mean you have to go through with it." "Yes, it does." "It's one of those self-fulfilling prophecies." "Did you ever think it would come to this, though?" "I was hoping it wouldn't." "I thought you were a friend of mine." "A friend is just an enemy you haven't made yet." "Cheap cynicism." "Not cheap, now, no." "That's a cynicism that's been hard won." "That's a cynicism that's been earned after a hell of a lot of physical and psychological torture." "I take it back, then." "But it's cynicism nonetheless." "Maybe that's the difference between us." "Oh, that's not the only difference." "Any regrets?" "I have, yeah." "I never got to finish Moby Dick." "The whale kills Ahab." "Is that right?" "Then he destroys the rest of the ship and the crew along with it." "All except for Ishmael." "He alone escapes to tell thee." "The burning of the church I can understand." "You didn't have to kill my dog." "I didn't kill your dog." "I love dogs." "Why would I do a thing like that?" "I found him with his throat cut." "Why would I fucking kill a dog?" "!" "I didn't..." "That was nothing to do with me." "I am wholly innocent of that crime." "I did give Veronica a bit of a shove that one time." "I do admit that and I'm sorry for it." "Did it upset you, the dog?" "Yes, it did." "Did you cry?" "Yes, I did." "That's nice." "When you read what your fellow priests did to all those poor children over the years, did you cry then?" "I asked you a question." "Did you cry then?" "No." "That's right!" "I suppose..." "What?" "I suppose I felt detached from it." "The way you are when you read something in a newspaper..." "Detach yourself from that!" "We were the lucky ones!" "There's bodies buried back there!" "Buried like dogs!" "Don't look at me." "Turn your face away!" "Don't look at me!" "No!" "Run!" "Michael, run!" "I'll get Stanton, Father." "He reminds me of me." "It's not too late, Jack." "Yes, it is." "Yes, it is." "Say your prayers, Father." "I've already said them."