"and this is my Thanksgiving video." "Holidays are always a little tough for me." "Like many children in America I'm from a broken home." "But I think this turkey day's gonna be a little different because... y'all!" "Jamaica's premiere sex resort." "three nights." "And we are just gonna..." "Tag 'em and bag 'em!" "{\*I'm}So excited." "Adam and Ders." "there's babes." "And there is also..." "A little restaurant called Pastafari." "Italian food with a Jamaican fusion." "please." "Let's go check on the guys..." "I'm so excited!" "There he is." "Anders." "Say what's up to the camera." "Ders?" "Who's Ders?" "My name's Buddy Ferrera." "You decided to shave the playoff beard off." "he can't go to Hedonism II." "He's gonna run for city councilman someday." "Good-time havin' freaky cat" "Adam?" "dude}." "homie!" " Nice!" "I can't go to Hedonism." "{\*I'm not gonna have a good time. }I won't get laid." " Why?" " Why is that?" "Because my dick fell all over!" "{\*Just }Kidding." "I tucked it back." "though." ":" " Chu Tro Red Lol -: :- 2x10 6 Hours Till Hedonism II -:" "this is their summer." "dude." "I'm trying to get Beyonce dark!" "Sun is straight danger!" "dude." "I got the self Tanner." "It's good too." "Linda Hogan endorses it." "Has anybody seen my Tevas?" "I really need my Tevas." "please remember." "I got us dinner reservations. so pack a fancy outfit." "no shirt." "That's what I'm thinking." "you're kinda GQ." "Should the tie match my nipples?" "I found my Tevas. but we're definitely gonna be seen each other butt naked humping and stuff." " I just hope we're ready for that." " Yeah." "Buddy's a go." "Blakester is ready to get his knob gobbled." "Let's get weird!" "Let's get weird!" "right}?" "I thought we were chanting "Let's get weird." "Good to go!" " Bathing suits?" " Check." "I will not be wearing a bathing suit." "no." "And passports." "I even filled them out for you." "All you had to do was sign it and mail it." "{\*You want to tell me}What the hell happened?" "You want to know what happened?" "Ders!" "And I thought that Jamaica was part of the U.S." "I didn't think I needed a passport!" "you buffoon." "okay?" "We're not gonna go." "Just the two of us?" "two guys going to Hedonism?" "okay?" "very specific type of weird here." "Niche weird!" "Plus you're the only one that knows how to speak Jamaican." "our flight leaves in six hours." "There's no way we can get a passport by then." "but I know one man... one life wizard who can." "Man." "brah-gers?" "bud?" "} and resell 'em." "that makes a lot of sense." "So they're not organic." " No." "I wrote that." " Genius move." "to be honest}. are we not all drug dealers..." "Brah?" "I do still deal drugs." " Thank God." " Best in the business." "but we've got six hours to get to Hedonism II." "so I need your help." "but I've been out of the passport game since college." "Red flag." "You didn't go to college." "I parked my van outside of a college for three and a half semesters." "but you have to have some scumbag friends who can hook me up." "dude." "they make fake I.D.S." "They could {\*totally }make you a fake passport." "They made me a birth certificate when I lost mine." " Perfect!" " I'm sorry." "Hold the phone!" "Fake passports?" "We never talked about this." "I'll get you guys the address. and I will try the Jamaican jerk lasagna." "okay?" "you're gonna have to sign some{\* sort of} affidavit saying I had nothing to do{\* with it}." "}" "So how can I sign that?" "Is that like a fruit?" "It's basically what lawyers use to make a bill a law." "That makes sense." "Law and Order:" "SVU." "We'll sign it." "I drew you a little map." "and you'll be good." "He drew us a map." "That's so clutch." "we're good." "Karl." "a password we need or anything?" " There's not{\* a password}." " Drug dealers have those." "maggots!" "There's a password." "There ya go." "maggots." "I cannot wait to meet these class acts." "Can I help you?" "maggots!" "What?" "Excuse me?" "I'm telling you." "We're here for the passports." "We're friends with Karl." "of course." "Come on in!" "What was that about the maggots?" "You tell us." "you know Karl Hevacheck?" "The guy who doesn't wear underwear and has a dirt beard?" "Karl and I go way back." "He used to play keyboards at my church." "you're blowing my mind." "and you have impeccable taste." "This is very nice." "Restoration hardware?" "it's actually pier one." "Get out!" "That's pier one." "I don't know what that means." "Can I get you boys anything?" "Some water or milk?" "A low-carb Red Bull?" "Tired right now!" "Or some shark bites or gushers?" "We don't have any sugar{\* in this house}." "if you would just get to it? and I heard that you and Dale are the people to talk to." "Dale is my ex." "And we don't use that name in this house." "Is this something that was recent?" "if you could just get me your picture... absolutely." "right here}." "how cute." "I can have that passport ready in a few days." "if you could." "five hours." "then." "please}!" "I'll be your best friend." "}Tomorrow's Thanksgiving." "{\*I have to }pick up my son from wrestling practice." "I'm great at picking up sons!" "That's my forte." "we'll be your little butlers." "It'll be great." "of course I could..." "We can be your grocery genies!" "poof!" "It arrives." "{\*Hang on. }Let me show you something." "This is my driver's license." "okay?" "}." "triple-a card..." "member since 2007." "very responsible." "You have the hardest job in the world." "You're a single mother." "I was raised by{\* a single mother} one." "And also stone cold Steve Austin via TV." "Bets." "the good stuff." "Know what I mean?" "Help us help you help yourself while also helping us." "Let me get the list." "Hey-oh!" "Maggots!" "all right?" "Let's just get this guy and get him home. she's gonna wish she had craisins and I'm dropping it." "There he is." "Damien!" "so come on." "but I'm not going." "dude." "but I got some licorice." "Come on!" "Come on!" "{\*Come on!" "}Go get it!" "guy!" " In the car." "I don't get that." "That worked on me{\* as a kid}." "That is weird.{\*" " That's a good trick.} Let me have a shot." "Get in that car right now!" "Calm your old ass down." "Tell my mom I'll be home later." " Maybe." " Later maybe... okay?" "your mom's making us fake passports." "you longhaired jizz expert!" "okay?" "You're comin' with me!" "That's a trick move!" "You're very strong!" "Solid core!" "Help!" "Help!" "Stranger danger!" "Rape!" "and a Thanksgiving update." "but we're back on track." " Picked up a real nice lad." " I'm gonna... {\*" " Damien!" "}Help!" " No horse play back there!" "{\* Not in my car!" "}" " Keep your hands off my best friend!" "and{\* you're}... not cool!" "Whoa!" "}Not cool!" "What are you... no}." "Look!" "Fuck!" "{\* What the fuck!" "} That is our car!" "Fucking shit!" "Fucking shit!" "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "Fuck!" " What are we gonna do?" " Hide the car!" "{\*" " What?" "}" "{\*" " Hide the car!" "}That doesn't make any sense!" " You can't hide the car!" " You can{\* hide the car}!" "You can't!" "Or... can we!" "}We got to cover this whole thing." "Painting's fun!" "It's hot out here." "Does anyone want any grapes or anything? - you gonna help us over here or what?" " Help?" "I can't even watch!" "} I can't believe Dale and Bets split up." "that really chaps my hide." "okay?" "You're raping my Volvo right now." "dude}." "aren't you supposed to be in the car watching this kiddo?" "No." "Don't worry about it." "He's locked in there." "{\*What do you mean }He's locked?" "You can't lock somebody in a car." "but there's things called child locks." "} little children." "{\*He's not... }He could just reach around and like hit the switch and unlock." "Jack-offs!" "Wait!" "He just did what I was saying!" "He just did what I was saying!" "man." " Hold on!" " The car!" "Stop!" "That kid has my ticket to Hedonism!" "Ya bumbaclot idiot!" "Someone call for a taxi?" "most of the parts.{\*" " Let him in!" "}" "We did a good job painting." " How much time till our flight leaves?" " Four hours." "We gotta get this kid now!" "or we're not gonna be able to check bags." "man." "}He's got that high school body." "He's a young go-hard." "Unbelievarle body." "I used to have that body." "man}!" "We all had that body!" "I used to look good in jeans." "I had a six-pack in grammar school." "It was ridiculous." "dudes}!" "He just got off the bus.{\*" " Damien!" "}" "{\*You }Get back in this car right now!" "{\* right} into that porn theater." "} Ders!" "Pull up there!" "Wait up." "here we go. it's five bucks." "huh?" "Terrific." "Welcome to the Inland Empire's oldest operating..." "Erotic theater." "since these doors were opened we've had but one motto." "please?" "We've had but one motto. and come again." "And again and again and..." "I think it's funny." "Here ya go." "You're gonna really enjoy this." "It's called Endless Hummer." "{\*" " Thanks. }And I think the previews are just about ending." "dudes." "Let's be respectful." "Liberry voices." "I can already smell the weird." "we do everything together." "you made the big screen." "That looks... just like you." "You do." "You look just like him." "you do." "}You look exactly like that guy." "Damien..." "Damien." "Damien?" "Sorry." "Our bad." "I can't see anything." " Sorry." " Sorry." "Why don't I use the night vision on my camera?" "Blair Witch this bitch." "I can't believe it wasn't real." "What the... buddy." "guys." "Turn it off...{\*" " Don't...}" " Turn it off!" " Who is it?" "sorry.}" " Sorry about this." " Your dick's in your hand." "We're just looking for a little boy." "Have you seen a kid?" "{\* He's about this tall.}" "dude!" "huh?" "so this is not good." "I can't look at mouths anymore." "I kept hearing..." "Stop it!" "Don't do that!" "I messed everything up." "You guys should just go without me." "Tell Pastafari I said I'm hungry." "bring me home some Jamaican jerk lasagna." "dude}. 'Cause I'm not gonna go anywhere without you!" "Besides the fact that this is gonna take our friendship to the next level as sexual conquistadors... right?" "You know what I mean?" "this little Indian isn't going to go anywhere without his pilgrims." "You guys are the pilgrims." "a Pocahontas situation with some leathery Hedo babes." "right..." "Am I rambling a little bit?" "I'm excited." "} you're not rambling.{\* We're all on the same page.} Pocahontas sounds great but..." "Thank you." "man." "It just doesn't seem right." "I say we call it." "We did spend $400 nonrefundable." "So we definitely have to go on this trip!" "We just gotta find that kid!" "maybe if we..." "Thing's not gonna suck itself." "Holy meat rod!" "That is a real bat." "Real meat stick." "Gerald!" "Is that you?" "the man with the mouth." "I can't give this thing away today." "{\*Do you know where Jimmy is?" "}Is {\*he}Jimmy around?" "though." "}Andy the golf pro?" "black Andy." "That guy." "Sweet chocolate." "Reach around?" "Anybody?" "You guys?" "I'm good." "huh? kind of. we'll grab him." "that's actually genius." "It's also illegal." "I think we're stacking crimes pretty high today." "Desperate times calls for desperate measuring." "like 14 times." "Middle school was wild." "It's illegal." "Bug that." "I ain't never scared." "I swear!" "{\*I said }Down!" " Do we have to?" " It's like really gross." "actually." "Are you the owners of the Volvo parked out front with the crappy paint job?" " Why?" "Did someone ding my car?" " Where's the kid?" "What in the hell is going on here?" "I will not." "This is my place of business." "I've got permits." "These men are involved in the kidnapping of a minor." "No." "We didn't kidnap anybod... ask him!" " Hold on." "That's my son." "you get out here." "Did these guys try to kidnap you or something?" "please." "We were sent to pick him up by his mom while she was gonna make... we're friends with Betsy." "We know Betsy." "} really strong." "He should be in American Gladiator." "Is anything that they're saying true? and maybe see if we could all eat Thanksgiving together tomorrow." "Like we used to." "That's sweet." "This carpet smells like semen." "I found a semen." " That is semen{\*right there}." " We're {\*just }gonna get up." "back down." "Going back down." "It's just semen." "Stop whining." "I'm leaving." "But you're still parked in a red zone." "okay?" "sir." " Let's get out of here." "Officer." "I am so sorry about all this confusion." "it's been very hard on Damien." "My parents are divorced." "crybaby." "He should've listened to his mother." "He knows he's not supposed to come to my picture house." "Picture house?" "man." "It's cool." "}What's the rush?" "Betsy's making Blake a fake passport." "so we better get going." "Are you fucking kidding me?" "I love Hedonism." "Where do you think this little rascal was conceived?" "really?" "but an orgy just like it." "I think he's mine." " It's a joke we have." " Dad!" "Come on." "guys." " Happy Thanksgiving." "You too." "Gobble gobble." "And Damien." "Later!" "I think we brought a family together just in time for Thanksgiving." "{\*I think }You're right." " Get off me!" " I'm not on you." " You and your stupid porn theater!" " What is your problem?" "Let's get weird!" "did we save room for dessert?" "Where are all the titties and butt cheeks?" "Probably having Thanksgiving with their families." "That's stupid." "How's that Jamaican jerk lasagna treating you?" "Mike."