" I've explained this to you two pricks already." "How fucking thick are you?" "Will someone give me a light?" "I'm out of pocket," "Boogies are out of pocket and now you assholes are wasting my time making me drive all the way out here to repeat myself for the millionth time." "When Eddy says you take a fucking dive, you take a fucking dive." "Well, tell your boss if he wastes my time again, he'll end up losing a little bit more than cash." " Why don't you tell him yourself?" "Is that your boss?" "Look, I was just telling your boys I'm taking care of it." "We're sorting out the finances." "All right?" "Hey, hey wait a minute." "This was not my fault, mate." "You got to wait, listen to me." "Oh damn." "I can get you your money back tonight with interest." "How much?" "You just tell me how much." "What do you want from me?" "What?" "I can get you whatever you want." "What the fuck is it you want!" " Respect!" " Tell you what I like, Bill Murray." "A lot of people just think he's a comedian but he's not." "He's a dramatic actor as well." "I was watching that Hyde Park" "On The Hudson the other night." "Have you seen that movie, Hyde Park On The Hudson?" "You watch and you'll laugh and you'll cry and then you'll go, "Hang on," ""is this the guy from Caddy Shack?"" "The guy who was busting ghosts with Dan Aykroyd now making us cry as the president of the United States?" "I'd call him the penultimate actor of our generation." " The second last actor of our generation?" " I don't know any other actor who has moved from comedy in to drama like Bill Murray." "I mean, think about it, who's gone from comedy into drama?" " Tom Hanks." " Fucking Tom Hanks?" "Get fucked!" "When was the last time you even laughed at a Tom Hanks film?" "Big, I guess." "I don't know, I saw it when I was a kid." "It might not even be funny." "Bill Murray, he moves from comedy to drama and then back in to comedy." "He's never done a bad film, Stripes," "Tootsie, Groundhog Day, the one where he's lost in Tokyo." "He played himself as a zombie in Zombieland." "He's a genius." "He's never done a bad film." " What about Garfield?" " Yeah, thought about that." " This is our street." " Hang on." "I'll make a u-turn." " Just turn left." "Just turn left over there." " Okay, that'll be $23.50, thanks." " No, no, no, I'm not getting out yet." "You can leave the meter on." "Do you think you could turn that off?" " You hear about this party thing?" " Huh?" " Bill Murray, late at night he gets bored and he goes for a walk, finds a party and he just goes in." "You could be living in New York City, next thing you know Bill Murray is rocking up at your party." "He's doing your dishes." "So you like this girl, huh?" " What?" "No, no, this is my fiancee's house." " Right." " Taxi!" " Shit!" "Oh shit!" "Don't let her get in here." " If you're getting out, she can get in." " No, no, no;" "I'm not getting out." "I'm paying the meter, just get rid of her." " Do you know what flag fall is?" " Flag fall?" " Flag fall, that's how I make my money." "Bums in, bums out." "Every time someone gets in, I get another $3.50." " I'll give you $10 over the meter price if you..." " I don't think so." " $20." "$50!" " Hi!" " Evening, love." "Where are you off to tonight?" " The city." " The city, eh?" " Yeah, I've booked online." " Is that right?" "Is your name Richard Benson?" " No." " Aww." " Are you serious?" "Fucking cabbie!" " So that's your fiancee, is it?" " Yeah, is she gone?" " Not really." "What's going on, mate?" " Nothing's going on." " I can't be involved in anything homicidal or illegal, so..." " No, it's nothing like that." " Then what, because if you don't tell me," "I'm going to beat this horn and the little miss can come back here and I'm going to drive her to the city." " Shh!" "Just keep your voice down." " Or what?" " I think she's cheating on me." " Why do you think that?" " She's been doing this thing where she'll take a phone call and won't tell me who it is." "Sometimes she'll even take the phone in another room to take a call." "When I ask her, "Hey baby, who was that?"" "You know what she says?" ""It's just a friend."" " That definitely sounds suspicious." "I mean, why wouldn't she tell you who it is?" " That's what I thought." ""Just a friend."" "Which friend?" "I mean, be more specific, right?" "I would." " I would, I'm very specific." "Ask me who I was talking to at 3:30 this afternoon." " Who were you talking to at 3:30 this afternoon?" " Glen, yeah, and if I wanted to be un-specific," "I'd tell you something like," ""Just some bloke from the trading post." ""Fuck off for asking!"" " Yeah, but this week I just happened to overhear her on the phone." "I could hear her saying "Friday's perfect." ""Let's go out Friday night."" "Then when she comes back in the room," "I ask her who she's talking to and she says..." " "Just a friend."" " Exactly!" "Yesterday I ask her, just casually," ""What are you doing Friday night?"" "She says "I'm hanging out with a friend" ""that I haven't seen in ages."" "I say, "Great, can I come?"" "You know what she says?" ""No, it's a girls' night."" "but just yesterday we're hanging out and her phone is just sitting there in front of me." "I thought I'd take a little look." "I mean if she's got nothing to hide, she won't mind me looking, right?" " Makes total sense." " I see all these text messages from some guy saying," ""Can't wait to see you." ""I have so much to say." ""I love you."" " She lied." " I was hoping I might catch her with him tonight." " Unbelievable." "Who was this guy?" " Sio Bohan." " Sio Bohan?" " Yeah, Sio Bohan." " What kind of stupid name is that?" "It sounds Asian or something." "Where did she meet this guy?" " Well, I don't know." "It could have been anywhere." "It could have been at work, a coffee shop," "or yoga." " Glad I didn't give her a lift to the city." " I'm Trevor." " Nicholas." "Oh God, it's her!" "What do I do, answer it?" " No, don't answer it." "Hang up!" " What if I just confront her now, get it over with?" " Don't give her the satisfaction of lying to you again." "Hang up!" " Taxi!" " We've got movement." "Get up." "So, what do you want to do?" " Can we follow it?" " Fuck yeah." "Tail job." "Buckle up." " Yeah!" " Seriously, put your belt on." "I'm not allowed to drive until you put your belt on." " Oh yeah." " So, what's the plan when you finally catch 'em?" "You going to beat his head in or hers?" " No, no, no, no." "I just need some proof." "Just snap a photo of them kissing or whatever." " Then what?" " Then I'll ask her how her night with the girls was and she'll say it was great, then I'll give her the photo and then I'm just going to walk out of there." " Served cold, nice." "You're lucky." " Lucky?" "Yeah right, my fiancee is cheating on me." "How is that lucky?" " Yeah, but you caught her in time so you are lucky." "Imagine if you were married already or worse married with a kid." "That's a shit storm believe me." "You are lucky." " Hey don't lose her." " Don't worry, we're exactly where we want to be." "We always want to be one or two cars behind them at all times." "That way they don't pick up the scent." "Now if I want to get closer, I travel in the lane next to us and pull up in their blind spot." " How many times have you done this?" " Too many times, Nick, too many times." " It's Nicholas." " You think you're the first person to ever be cheated on and need to use a taxi to get revenge?" "Mate, half the people that sit in that seat think they're being cheated on or cheating on someone or are following someone who is cheating on them." "The amount of extramarital intercourse happening in that seat," "I could write an erotic novel if I wanted to." " Are you married?" " Was, past tense." " Hey, they're turning." " Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right." "Come on, let me in, mate." "Let me in, I'm trying to merge, you moron!" "Fuck!" "There are some morons on these roads!" " Is that them?" " Yeah, that's them." "They're four cars up ahead." " What's this?" " You nearly killed me, you fuckwit, learn to drive!" " I had my blinker on, you fucking idiot!" " Oh fuck off you did!" " Fire me already, you fucking moron." " Fucking pull over and say that, cunt!" " Fuck off!" " Fucking pull over and fucking say that!" " That's what you got to do." " Pull over!" " Don't worry, these things happen on the road every day." " Fucking pull over now!" " Don't be a fucking dick, let me pass." "Hang on." "Woo!" " We've lost Mona!" " Don't worry, we'll catch her, we'll catch her." "We'll go up here a couple of blocks, we'll turn right on to Smith and we'll meet them there." "Doesn't sound good." " Siobhan!" "Oh my God, I missed you so much!" " I missed you!" "Oh my God, show me, show me!" "Aww did he choose it?" " Well I made sure he knew the one I wanted so..." " I love it, aww!" " Let's celebrate!" " To the bar!" " To the bar!" " Hey ladies, do you have ID on you?" " This is shit!" "We've lost her, haven't we?" "We're never going to catch up to Mona now." "Shit!" " Hey, hey don't dent the cab." " Sorry, sorry, yeah." "Hey Trevor, the meter is still running." " Yeah." " Well, don't you think you should turn it off?" " Why would I do that?" " Because I don't really think it's fair that I should pay for you to change a tire." " I wouldn't have a flat tire if I wasn't doing your tail job." "The meter stays on." " Well maybe I'll find another taxi to take me home." " All right." "All right, all right, all right, all right." "You want to be fair, we'll split it." "When the tire is on, the meter stays on." "When the tire comes off, I'll turn the meter off." "Deal?" " Deal." " Good." "Well." "So you're calling it quits, eh?" "It's a shame." "I thought you might be my Richard Benson." " Yeah, who is Richard Benson anyway?" " Richard Benson is the penultimate customer." "He's a bit of a legend in the taxi world." "He's the biggest fare you can get." "Sidney to Perth, 8,000km, $20,000 in petrol and fares and on tope of that Richard Benson gives you $30,000 just to stay quiet." " That sounds a little like a cabbie urban myth if you ask me." " It's not an urban myth." " Well why wouldn't he just catch a plane?" "I mean, he'd be out of pocket, what, $600?" " Paper trail." "Richard Benson can't be seen going in or out of the state." "In fact, he doesn't even book his cabs in advance." "He just hails them off the street." "You'll be driving along, doing a shift." "Next thing you know, gray haired man with a big, black sports bag will pull you over, get in the back and say, "Take me to Perth and back?"" " Do you know anyone who's ever actually had Richard Benson?" " No but a friend of my friend Hakeem had him last year, so you know it's probably true." "Okay." "Tire off;" "meter off." " Thank you." " Meter on." " I'm sorry to say I'm not going to be your Richard Benson tonight." " That's a shame." "You going to give up, eh?" " I don't see what choice I have." " Maybe you can call her." " Right, she'll tell me where she is, will she?" "I doubt that." " What if someone else called her?" " Stacey!" " Nicholas!" "What are you doing here?" " You haven't seen Mona tonight, have you?" " No, I haven't seen her since New Year's Eve." "Is everything all right?" " Yeah, no, everything's fine." " You and Mona are still?" " Yeah, definitely." " Good." " Definitely." " Because you guys make a great couple." "I bet you're the best boyfriend." " Stacey!" " I'm not meant to talk to you guys unless you're ordering froyo." "Are you guys ordering any froyo?" " No." " Yes we are, Stacey." "Now could I have a big size and I'm going to start with original." " Stacey, everything's fine." "I just need to know where she is right now." " She didn't tell you where she was going?" " She did but I guess I forgot." " Why don't you call her?" " Actually, I was hoping you'd call her." " Why can't you call her?" " Because" "because..." " It's a surprise." " It's a surprise!" " That's so sweet!" "You would make the best boyfriend." " Yep, you said that Stacey." "Now I would like to get lychee." " What do you want me to say to her?" " Just ask her if she wants to hang out tonight." " Desiccated coconuts." " I finish work at 10 but I guess" "I could hang out with her after that." " Almond." " But now you don't actually want to hang out with her." " I don't?" " No." " But what if she does?" " Trust us, she won't." " You just want her to think you do." " So she'll tell me where she is so you can surprise her." " Right!" " Well, I go on my break in 15 minutes, so why don't you meet me in the alley behind the shop and I'll call from there?" " Great." "Thanks, Stacey." " Okay, that'll be $8.50." "Okay, so what do you want me to do?" " Just give Mona a call and tell her you're in the city." "Ask her if she is too." " Okay." "It's ringing." "Hello?" " Hello." " Who's this?" " Who's this?" " Who is it?" " It's some guy." " Son of a bitch!" " Put Mona on, put Mona on the phone!" "Hello?" "I know who you are, you fucking dog dick bastard!" "Hello?" " Who was that?" " It's Sio Bohan." " Who is Sio Bohan?" " He's the guy who's going to be balls deep in Mona by the end of the night!" " That's terrible!" " Bastard!" " Nicholas?" " Quick, call the number again." " Son of a!" " Hey you've called Mona." "Please leave your..." " Dammit, no answer." " You son of a!" " I better go back inside." "My break is almost over." " Wait." "Where did it sound like he was?" " Who?" " Sio Bohan." "Were there any sounds that could be clues to his whereabouts?" " Like what?" " I don't know like birds tweeting or a garbage truck." " No." " What about a rumbling?" " Rumbling?" " Yeah, you know, a rumbling like an airport or a train station." " Right." "Yeah, I guess there was kind of rumbling sounds." " What, like a plane?" " Not like an airport, more like a..." " A boat?" " Yeah, a boat." "Yeah and hey, there was music." " What kind of music?" " Fun music." " Like a carnival?" " Yeah, I guess." " Nick!" " It's Nicholas!" " Come on, I know where she is?" " Where?" " She's at the harbor!" " Wait, I don't have your number." " Why would you?" " In case Mona calls me." "I can let you know where she is if you still haven't met up with her." " Okay, that's a good idea." " Give me your phone." "Call me." "Nichols." "Great, go ahead." " Thanks." " I'll text you later." " Well, she's not here." " In hindsight, it was very unlikely she would be." " Fuck!" " Oi!" "You going to White Bay?" " Yeah mate." " Won't be a tick." " Hey!" "What are you doing?" " Relax, I'm not going to leave you here." "There's plenty of room for both of ya'." " Make him get the next one." " What's the difference?" " Because I'm not paying you to pick up other passengers." " Mate, if I got to drive you around the city all night looking for your fiancee," "I need to pick up other passengers." " Why?" " I told you, flag fall." "Bums in, bums out." " I don't believe this!" " Mate, you don't know where you're going next, so I give this guy a lift to White Bay, you think about where you're going," "I switch the meter off, I'm doing you a favor." "You should be thanking me." "Yeah." "You coming?" " Get your own cab, sunshine." "This one's booked!" " Okay, $50 to White Bay sound okay?" " Yeah." " You mind if my mate comes?" " If he pays half." " Deal." " All right, get in." " Hold on to that for me, will ya', mate?" "I wouldn't get my fingerprints on that if I was you." "Just kidding, mate, just kidding." "You really got to lighten up." "I've known you two minutes and I can already tell you got a bug up your ass." " Trevor, can we turn this off?" " No, we fucking can't." " What's wrong with you, Nick?" "I thought you liked my driving mix?" " This is prime techno." " It's a house song." "Me and Mona, it was our song." " Look, he's feeling a bit sorry for himself because his fiancee is cheating on him." " We don't have to talk about this." " With a bloke named Sio Bohan." " Sio Bohan?" "What sort of name is Sio Bohan?" "Sounds African?" " I thought it was Asian." " It's not important." " Don't worry, mate." "Been through three divorces myself." " Yeah, really?" " Yep and you just saw me finalize the third one as a matter of fact." "Just joking mate!" "You got to lighten up." "He's got no sense of humor!" "That's the plan is it?" "Drive around all night looking for her?" "Tailed her for a little while until someone lost her." "It's not really a plan." " I'm just teasing you, kiddo." "We've all been in your shoes." "We've all spent nights out there following women." " It's not so much her as the prick she's been sleeping with." " Sio fucking Bohan!" " It's like that Wiley Coyote chasing that fucking bird." " Eh?" " So you're saying that the roadrunner slept with the coyote's fiancee?" "Is that what you're saying?" " You're putting words in my mouth now." " Did they say?" " Did who say?" " The cartoon in the first episode." "Did it stop and go ding and they froze and it just said," ""Roadrunner just fucked coyote's wife."" " I don't know, it's just a fucking example." "You missed my point." " Which was?" " The only time you see obsession like this is revenge, pure and simple." " No tip?" " You want a tip?" "Here's your tip." "They got a record of all the fares at the company you work for, right?" " Yeah." " Well give them a fucking ring and ask them where they dropped off the fucking bird." " Trevor to Base, over." " Evening Trev', Janet on the line." " Yes, good evening, Janet." "I need information about a fare that would have left Firedock earlier this evening." " No worries, Trev'." "What's the destination point?" " Well I'm hoping that's what you can tell me." " Trev', we've had a number of pickups in the area tonight." "Can you tell me the cab number?" " Cab number." "Shit." "Cab number." " Oh, hang on!" " Standby, Janet." " Trev', 30 seconds." " That's blurry." " No, these are practices." " That's blurry." " Hey, it's night time." "You got to leave the shutter open." " Don't you know how to use a flash?" " Mona would have seen a flash." " Okay that one." "Zoom in, enhance." " Cameras in the real world, you can't zoom in and enhance." " Zoom in." " Yeah, well you can't enhance." " Janet." " Trevor?" " We've got a number for you." "It's cab number 744." "Repeating seven, double four, over." " Look, it just says drop off inner city." " Inner city?" "Can you be more specific?" " I can tell you who the cab is registered to." " Go ahead, Janet." " Hey, Trevor!" " How are ya' Barry?" " Haven't seen you down at the track lately." " Well, been working." " Well you should make time." "Life's not meant to be all work, you know." "Mickey here was telling us a story about the royal family." "Off you go, Mickey." " Where was I?" " Incest." " Okay so..." " Listen Barry." "I'm sorry, Mick'." "We need information about one of the passengers you would have had in your car tonight." " Yeah, you picked her up from Firedock at about seven p.m." " I pick up a lot of people from Firedock." " Yeah, we need information about a particular woman that you had in your cab." " You stalking her, eh?" " No, no." " Well, we sort of are." "I mean it's his fiancee and he thinks she's having an affair." " Oh well, she probably is mate." "Everyone is cheating on someone." " I'm not." " You probably are and you don't even know it." " Yeah, well said, Mick'." " Actually, last night I had a couple in the back." "They were married but not to each other." " And me too." "Last week I had four dwarves 69ing." "Yeah, what's that?" "130,080!" " Didn't you know about the Wizard of Oz?" " I know of the Wizard of Oz." " Dwarf orgies every night!" " Is that right?" " Yeah, that's a fact." "During the day it was all like," ""We welcome you to Munchkin Land,"" "yeah, but at night in the hotel room, all these tiny little pricks..." " Right, right, sorry." " Yeah, as fascinating as this is guys." " Yeah guys, we have to cap it there." "Basically we need information about a woman who was In your cab at seven p.m." " Oh." "You know Trevor, my memory isn't as good as it used to be." " Oh." "Yeah, mhmm, okay." "Does that help with your memory?" " Yeah, yeah." "I remember her." "What about her?" " Where'd you drop her?" " I can't tell ya' that, mate." " What, why?" " Driver-passenger confidentiality." " That's not a thing, is it?" "Fine." "Is it still privileged?" " No, no, no, it's fine." "I dropped her at the Loco." " The Loco, okay, is that a club?" " Yeah, it's a club." "I know where it is." " Did she meet anyone there?" " Well..." "Not that I saw." " Let's just go." " Gee, I tell you he's a nasty piece of work, mate." " Well be nice to him." "The meter's running all night." "He might be my Richard Benson." " Is that true about all the dwarves?" " Aw yeah, horny as fuck!" " So what kind of place is this Loco?" " Well, I'm not going to lie to you, Nick." " It's Nicholas!" " The Loco is one of the most debauched clubs in Sydney." " Hi..." " Hi, I'm sorry." "I'm new in town and I was just wondering could you direct me to your house?" " Sorry, I don't want to be rude, but we're just having a girls' night, so, yeah." " I'm sorry." "♫ Don't you want to believe what I'm telling you" "♫ Put my heart on a sleave I'll be loving you" "♫ Dreams you want to believe that I'm meeting you" "♫ Do they give you some of my love ♫" " You sure this is the place?" " This is the place all right." " Why would Sio Bohan bring her in here, Trevor?" " Some girls like these places." " Not Mona!" " I think there's a lot about Mona you don't know." " Oh yeah, what do you mean by that?" " They've all got secrets." " Gentleman, what can I get you?" " You've got a lot of fine looking ladies here tonight." " That we do." " Lady we're looking for would have been in here earlier as a customer." " Not a lot of female clients here, mate." " She wouldn't have been alone." "She would have been with a gentleman." " Like I said, pal, not a lot of guys bring their girls here." "Think about it, would you bring a date here?" "It's like taking pizza to a pizza shop." " Well, she's a pretty girl, blonde hair, green taffeta dress." " Taffeta or not, no one was in here like that." " Come on, Trevor, this is clearly not the right place." "Let's just go, huh?" " Actually, I'll have two whiskeys on the rocks." "Now, the gentleman who would have been here with our lady friend, his name would have been Sio Bohan." " Never heard of him." " Hey boys, want the private dance?" " No, thank you." " I have something you want." " I highly doubt that." " She might." " Information." " Can we have another song please?" "You don't have to dance." " Sio Bohan was here tonight." " Was he here with a girl?" " He was, a blonde girl." "She sat on his lap at the front of the stage." "This girl was a wild one." "She loved the pole dancing." "She looked like she wanted to stay but when Sio wants to leave, you follow." " Where did they go?" " I would imagine another one of Sio's clubs." " What, he's a club owner?" " Whose place do you think you're in right now?" " Who is this guy?" " Do you know where we could find him right now?" " I will help you find Sio Bohan" "so you may kill him!" " Whoa!" " No, no, no." " Hang on, hang on." "We're not here to kill anybody." " No, look, you and Mr. Bohan obviously have some issues you're working through, but I, on the other hand, am just looking for my fiancee." " When Sio chooses a woman, she is his and she is his until he says she is his no more." "Trust me on this fact." " Please..." " Nadia." " Nadia." "Can you please tell us where they were going?" " Very well." " Right-o, fucktards, time's up!" " No, can we just have one more minute with Nadia?" " No!" " Hey, hey, hey!" " Out!" "Pause it there." "Okay, zoom in and enhance." " What?" " Enhance the pixels." " Oh man, it's not a computer." "Its a VCR." " Well just print the screen." " It's literally a video machine." " Then write the number plate down then!" " Geez." " Any results?" " No, there's no clubs under the name Sio Bohan." " Are you spelling it right?" " Yeah, I think so." "Hey Stacey!" " Hi Nicholas!" " Hello Stacey." " Hi..." " Trevor." " Nicholas, have you found Mona yet?" " No, have you heard from her?" " No but I think I have a friend who can help." " Who?" "Who is your friend, Stacey?" " What is it?" " Yeah, g'day, Mr. Bohan." "Look, sorry to disturb you," "I just wanted to let you know there was a couple guys here looking for ya', maybe cops, maybe something else." "What do you want me to do about it?" " What do I want you to do?" "I want you to show some fucking initiative and get the boys to deal with them." " Right." "Do we have any boys?" " So who is this friend?" " He's a friend from uni." "He's good with computers and stuff." "He downloads TV shows and movies for me." " What are you doing in here?" "Who let you in?" " Lee, this is Nicholas I was telling you about." "Nicholas, this is Lee." " Hey, how are you doing?" " Thanks for helping out, mate." " No problem." "I don't do the phone tracking myself but there's a guy who does, we just have to wait for him." " Jurassic Park, classic." "Sam Neal starring as Generic Guy." "You know the only reason they cast him was to make the dinosaurs look more real." " Here he is." " Right Lee, who am I helping?" " This is my friend Stacey." " This is my friend Nicholas." " And you want a trace on a phone?" " Yeah, hi, I'm trying to find my fiancee." "It's nothing suss or anything but we were following her in a taxi and..." " I don't want your story." " Yes, he wants to put a trace on her phone." " Yeah, is that something that can be done?" " It can be done depending if you have the information" "I require, is it a smartphone?" " Yeah." " IOS or Android?" " Is it an iPhone?" " No, it's a Samsung." " Android, even better." "Okay, well hopefully she has her devices registered with a Gmail account." "What's her email address?" " You know her password?" " I do, actually." " Does she know your password?" " Yeah, I think so." " Idiots." "What's her Gmail password?" " Actually, it's kind of funny." "It's Heymonaumona." "Like the song." " Can you type that in?" " Yeah." " Okay, looks like we might have her phone." " What's happening now?" " We're downloading an app on to her phone." "It's going to take some time." "Give me your phone." "No password protection." " If you have the same name as another celebrity, you're supposed to change it especially if that celebrity has already been making films so this Joe Panetel comes along, using the Cohen's good name to trick Bill Murray into Garfield" "and tricked him in to the sequel." " Sio Bohan." "Do you think that's an Asian name?" " It could be Scottish or Irish." " Yeah, well wherever it's from, he's fucking his fiancee." " Well, we don't know if they're actually sleeping together." " They're definitely on a date." " A date, that's not cheating!" " No, that's cheating." " Going to dinner isn't cheating." " Well she did lie about it." " Being dishonest about anything is cheating." "If you lie awake at night and dream about having sex with someone else, that's cheating." " No, that's thought crime." "You can't punish someone for the way they think, that's dystopian, that's Orwellian." "What do you think we're trying to do here?" " I don't know." "What are you trying to do here?" " Anyway, a date isn't cheating." " What about flirting?" " Not cheating." " Why?" " What about sex?" " Depends what you mean by sex." " A handjob?" " Not cheating." " Come on!" " A handjob isn't sex." "If it's not sex, it's not cheating." " Well what's sex for you?" " Full penetration." " Really?" " What about a blowjob?" " Not sex, not cheating." " Licking out?" " Nope." " Between the breasts?" " Not cheating." " Fingering?" " It's not cheating." " Fisting?" " Not cheating, I'm sorry." "It's just not cheating?" " Anal sex?" " Okay, that software is now on her phone." "The GPS information from her phone is going to be sent to you so you should be able to track her and you can set the alert to anything you want like this." "You can have this tone or that one" "or this." " Yeah, I'll probably turn the sound off." " Or even this one." " Does this let you control the camera?" " Yes." " Oh that's him!" "Trevor, that's him!" " Now we know what the son of a bitch looks like!" " I would never cheat on my boyfriend if I had one." "I mean, once I'm with a guy, I'm with that guy and all other guys become androgynous in my mind." " Okay, I better get going, okay?" " It's been fun hanging out." "Let's do it again soon." "I hope it works out with you and Mona." "Even if it does, we can still hang out some time." " Thanks, Stacey." " Good luck!" " Okay, where is she headed?" " She seems to be heading towards Central Station." " We'll go left up here and then we'll take King's Street." " This battery's almost dead." " There's a charger thing in the glove box." " Oh, there's your kids." " Yep." " Cute kids, mate." " Yeah." "Not that I get to see them." "Judy's got them." "I get the child support." "I give the child support to the cheater." "That's how this system works." " How'd you catch her?" " Six months after we got divorced, drove the car past her house and who was moving in but fucking David Nugent." " Ah okay, so it was six months after the divorce?" " Yep." " Well that," "it's not really cheating, is it?" " Yeah, it fucking is." " Oh shit!" "That's the psycho!" "That's him, that's him!" "Go, go, go, go now, go now!" " David Nugent moved in six months after we got divorced!" "All right, do the math!" "Moving in is a huge step in a relationship so what were they doing before that?" "Now you can't tell me they weren't making their filthy, disgusting love whilst we were still together." "Those fucking cowards!" "I'm out here every fucking night, they're back at home having a little love fest in my bed!" "Don't trust a single one of them!" "They're deceivers, all of them!" " Stop, stop!" "Where is he?" "Fucking!" " What the fuck?" "Fuck." "What a fucking maniac!" " Oh my God!" " Aw, for fuck's sake!" "Okay Nick, swap seats with me." " What?" "No!" " Come on switch seats, yes you." "You're sober, I've been drinking." "You need to swap seats with me." " He's right there, he'll see you." " You have to swap." " Just turn around!" " Come on, swap with me!" " No, no!" " Evening officer." " Can I see your license please?" " Yep." "Absolutely." " Do you realize how fast you were going just now?" " Speed limit?" " Mhmm, what's the speed limit around here?" " 60." " Wrong." "It's 50 and I just clocked you doing 70." "That's 20k's over the limit and you know what else I noticed?" "You've got a busted mirror." "That's not very safe, is it?" " Don't think I have any busted mirrors in this..." "Yeah, it's that one." "Well spotted." " You been drinking tonight?" " No." " Huh, you sure?" " Yeah, no, actually, I had a light beer with dinner." " Care in to this and stop when I tell you." " Actually, I think it might be better for me to get..." " Oh!" "You might need to get another cab home, mate." " Officer, honestly, I've been in the cab with him since what, seven p.m. and a guarantee you that he hasn't been drinking." " It was an emergency." "I wouldn't be speeding if it wasn't an emergency." " It's emergency?" "Oh, what kind of emergency?" " This young man, his fiancee is cheating on him with another man." " That's not an emergency." " Officer, please, I asked him to speed." "I've got to save my marriage." " They could be having sex right now." " She's been texting this guy and we've been following them." " If you let us go now, we can get them while they're doing foreplay." " We know where they are now, we're so close to catching her with Sio Bohan!" " Who did you just say she's with?" " Sio Bohan." " All right, listen to me." "You guys need to go home right now." "You need to forget all about chasing down Sio Bohan." " But officer, she's my fiancee." " She's gone now, forget her." " What, gone?" " Trust me, Sio Bohan is a nasty piece of work." "You're just lucky that I caught you before he did." "Get out of here." " You don't know where he lives do..." " I'm not fucking around!" "He's a very dangerous man." "Go home." " So?" "You going home?" "This the place?" " This is where the signal ends." " Do we go in?" " Hold it." "What the fuck are you doing?" " Just..." " He's..." " Looking for someone." " Yep." " They're not going to be in my dryer, are they?" " Good point." " That's him." "It's Sio Bhan." "He's got us trapped!" " Where's Mona?" " Do your normal face." "Closer." " Show me, show me, show me!" " This is beautiful, so beautiful!" " That's disgusting!" "Send it to me!" " Hey." " You boys looking for trouble, are ya'?" " No, actually, we're looking for the young lady..." " Shut up!" " Yeah." " I don't know where my phone is." " Did you leave it at home?" " No, I definitely used it after I left the house already." " Just, we'll have to retrace our steps then." " Okay." "Wait, hold on, can I use your phone first?" "I'll put it on locked mode." " So now what?" "What's the plan?" " All right, I hold him and you hit him or you hold him and I hit him?" " Well, what do you think would work?" " Quite frankly, I think I'm better at both the holding and hitting so you shouldn't." " Okay, you hold him and I'll hit him." " No one needs to hit me!" " Get up!" " Where is she?" " I don't know who you're talking about." " Where's Mona?" " I don't know anyone called Mona!" "Jesus!" " Why did that hurt me?" " You hold him, you hold him." " Right." "Okay." " Bohan, listen to this." "I'm only going to say this once, Bohan, okay?" "And I don't hit like a little girl." " Who the fuck is Bohan?" " What?" "You are." "You're Sio Bohan." " What the fuck kind of name is Sio Bohan?" " We didn't know." "We thought it might have been Asian and then maybe African, but what are you, Yugoslavian?" " I don't know, there's maybe some Spanish in there or something." " Aw, Spanish!" " Yeah." " No it's not Spanish!" "I'm not Sio Bohan, okay?" " What?" " I'm not Sio Bohan, I'm not the person you're looking for." "My name is Anthony!" "Look, check my wallet!" "Oh Jesus Christ." "It's in my back pocket." " So you're not Sio Bohan?" " Aye." " And you're not having a relationship with his fiancee?" " What?" "No." "No." " Then why do you have her phone?" " Yeah, why do you have her phone?" " Oh that." "Look, I found that in a taxi earlier this evening, okay?" " What and you were holding on to it so you could return it to its rightful owner?" " I don't know." "I was just going to pawn it for some extra cash." " Well, that makes sense." "Fuck, I'm sorry." " Hey, are yo sure you don't want to stay for one more drink?" " No, I just want to go home." " Okay, I'll get a taxi." " Oh great!" "She's had her phone locked." "Now we literally have no leads." " Go on, give it here." "Okay." "Nah." "We should take this back to the warehouse and see if one of Stacey's geeky friends can unlock it for us." " Yeah, maybe." "Or maybe I just up on this whole thing, eh?" " What?" "No!" "You can't give up now." "Look how far we've come." " This just isn't me, Trevor." "I'm normally asleep by now not being out in the middle of the night in the ass end of wherever the fuck we are!" " Bank's Town." " And being no closer to my fiancee or Sio Bohan." " If they're not cops, then what are they?" " Nobodies." "A couple of real nobodies." "This one's a cab driver." "Do you know why we've brought you here?" " 'Cause we're looking for Sio Bohan?" " Correct." " Are you going to stop looking for Sio Bohan?" " Yes." " Yes to what?" " Yes, I'm going to stop looking for Sio Bohan." " Good." "That's exactly what we wanted to hear." " Oh what a mistake you've made." " Trevor!" " Do you have any idea of the shit storm you've just brought to your front door?" " What the hell is he on about?" " We're fine, Trevor!" " Shut up, Nick." "Don't you think the boys would like to know that every word they've just said has been heard by the entire federal police, that every move they make is being picked up by one of 18 pinhole cameras?" " He's making it up guys." " The fuck I am!" "Boys, you better think long and hard about your next move because if it isn't lying on the floor with your hands on your head, then it may very well be watching the contents of your chest spill on to the floor" "as snipers bullets rifle through your retched body!" "Are they laying down?" " Sure." " We really are federal agents." " Yeah?" "Yeah, okay." "Yep." "Okay, yep." "Okay." "Cool." "We got to go." " What happens now?" " Nothing." "This was just a friendly warning." "Stay away or next time it won't be so friendly." " It won't be friendly at all." " I was trying to build the tension." " It's actually going to be quite violent." " Yeah, they get that." " Do ya' get that?" " Yeah, we get that." "Guess that's the end of that." " We've got to find Mona." " You're not going to go further with this, are you?" " Why wouldn't I?" " Well, she couldn't have picked a worse bloke to have an affair with." "I mean, you don't want to go head to head with this psycho over a girl, do ya'?" " I'm legitimately worried." "What if she has no idea what she's gotten into?" "I got to save her and then break up with her." " She's the one who had the affair, remember that." "You don't owe her anything." " I don't want her to die." " But you don't want to die either!" " I got to do something, anything." " Anything?" " Anything." " All right then." "I'm with ya'." " Thank you, Trevor." "That means a lot." " I want you to listen to exactly what I say." "In my back pocket is a Swiss army knife." "I want you to take it out and cut me free." " A pocket knife is not going to cut through handcuffs, Trevor." " It's not for the handcuffs, Nick." " Hang on." "Trevor, you realize we've got the keys, right?" " What?" " Yeah." "They left them on the floor over here." " Why didn't you fucking tell me that?" "I was going to cut my hand off!" "Right, come on." " What are you doing?" "You going forwards or backwards?" " No, we're going to rock over." "Are you ready?" "One, two" "It's just doodles." " I think these guys must work security at the Emerald Club." " What makes you think that?" " These posters, look." " New Years Ebe?" " Flyers for an event at the Emerald and stickers that say "I've been to the Emerpold."" " One of Sio's clubs?" "This must be a dumping ground for all their misprints." " And that's not all, look." " We should get out of here." " Yeah, let's get out of here." "Where the fuck are we?" " The cab's this way." "Nick, Nick, Nick!" "I got a better idea." "Janet, need a pick up." "It's not bad in the back." " Is that right?" " Yeah." " I've never ridden in the back." " Okay, let's do this." " Aye, they're not letting us in there looking like this." " No." "♫ So check it out" "♫ Yep yep yep yep ♫" " Fellas, back of the line." "Come on?" " What, why?" " I don't know, one, you're cut." "Two, no groups of guys." " Wait, we're hardly a group." "There's two of us!" " You let those two guys in." " They brought girls." " Where are we going to find some girls?" "Thanks again for helping me out again, Stacey." "You're the best." " I just hope it all works out okay for you." " Hang on." "Is he with you?" " Yeah, he's with me." " Yep." " All right." " Come on." " Uh, now we've been through this, mate." " Would you go in to the club with me?" "Hello, I need a female companion to go into the club with." "Would you go in to the club with me?" "Sorry." "I need a date." " Hey, we're looking for Sio Bohan." " I don't know who you're talking about." " Hold this." "Now you listen to me, I know this is his club, so don't fuck with me!" "Have you seen him?" " No!" " I said don't fuck with me!" " All right, all right, I saw him!" "You just missed him." "He left about 10 minutes ago." " Was he with someone?" " A girl, a blonde girl." " What were they doing here?" " I don't know, they were drinking and dancing." " What kind of dancing?" "Sexy dancing?" " Yeah, I guess?" " Kissing?" " Yeah?" " Tongues?" " Yeah?" " Hands, where are his hands!" " Through her hair?" " Through her hair?" " Yeah?" " On her back?" " Yeah?" " On her ass?" " Yeah?" " On her breasts?" "Where were her hands?" " You really don't want to know." " She's definitely cheating." "I'm sorry." " You probably need one of these." " This is the worst day of my life." "It literally couldn't get any worse." " I love this song!" " What did I do wrong?" " You didn't do anything wrong, she did." " Why is she doing this?" " Because she's a bitch." " Probably fucking him right now!" " Have you gone and seen a doctor?" " Yep." " Are you going to just try?" " Potassium tablets and magnesium tablets and none of it works." " You need to get magnesium in a powder." " Oh!" " All right, one drink, two drinks." "Look, I'll give you $50 for half an hour." "$50!" " Oi!" "Got money to burn, sweetheart?" "Why don't you burn it down here?" " You know what I think Nicholas?" "I think you need to just get back on the horse or get back on a different horse or a horse that knows how great you are." " I'm not that great." " Look at everything you've done tonight to try and stop her and win her back." "You risked your life for her and she doesn't even know it." " Yeah." " Any girl would kill to have you as her boyfriend." " Yeah?" " She should have at least broken up with you before she went off to screw some other guy." "You deserve better than that." " That's true." "I do, right?" "I do deserve something better than that." "I can't marry someone like that." " No way!" " I should just move on, she obviously has!" " You should." " I should just go and have sex with somebody else, see how she likes it." " I would." "♫ Love is the night" "♫ Yeah love is the night ♫" " I don't get what you want, sir." " All I want to know is how much will it cost for you and I to go in the club together?" " For public sex?" " No, no sex!" " Blow job?" " Blow job is sex!" "All I want is for you and I to walk through the door." "I get to stay on the inside and you can leave, okay?" "How much for that?" " $200." " What, $200?" "You'll be in and out, it'll take two minutes." "All you got to do is walk in and out of a door." " What, you're not going to buy me a drink while you're in there?" " No, I'm not going to buy you a drink!" "You buy your own drink." "You're getting paid!" " This seems sus'." " Sus'!" "This has to be the least sus' thing that anyone's ever asked you to do." " There's always sus', there's always a catch." "There's something you're not telling me, I know it." " Bohan?" " Sio!" " Bohan!" "Sio Bohan." " Great, $200." "Agreed?" " Sio!" " New plan!" " What are you doing?" " I'm getting these buttons." " They're not real buttons!" " This isn't wrong, right?" " It's not cheating if she cheated first." "Are you crying?" " I still love Mona!" " Hey honey." "Why are you looking at porn when the real thing is right here?" " No." " Don't knock it until you've tried it." " Not with charities, now fuck off." " You're waiting for your turn in the car, are ya'?" "Don't worry about them at all." "I'll do you on the car if you like." " You've got to go!" " What's your name?" " Just buzz off!" " Buzz off?" " Now scram." " Come on." " Come on lady, let's go." " Lady?" "I'm a lady!" " Just keep walking!" " What the fuck is going on out there?" " I'm just having a hard time getting rid of the trollop, that's all." " Get in the car." "We're going." " Fuck!" " Nick!" "Nick, Nick!" "Hey Nick!" " Trevor!" " Stay down!" " Nick, Mona's in the car, Sio Bohan." "Here's my keys, use your phone to track her!" " Hey!" "Leave him alone or I'm posting this online!" " Oh yeah?" "However, I saw the drug fall, didn't they?" "Huh?" " Thanks, Stacey!" " Hey, that's my client!" " Thanks Candy!" " Trevor, get in!" " Candy, get in." " Why does she get to go?" " She doesn't!" " I just had sex in the toilet." "Cried when he was inside me." " Yeah." "Happens to me every night." " Use your phone." " Here." " We're following the car that Mona is in." " Okay, which way is that?" " North." " Okay." "All right, so left or right?" " Tweet, get off, get off." "Sorry, Nick." "I'm just trying to find the app." "I'm trying to find the app of the maps." " Left or right, Trevor?" " Yep, I'm doing my best Ni..." " Left or right!" "Left or right!" " And go right." " Aim for the tires!" " Fuck!" " Okay Nick, turn around." "Nick, what are you doing?" "Nick?" " What the hell is he doing?" "He's going head to head!" " Fucking don't hurt my cab, Nick!" "Stop the fucking car!" "Stop the fucking car!" "Fucking fuck!" "My car is fucked!" " Mate, at least we're alive." " It's fucking ruined." "I'll never get it passed register." "You're paying for this." " No, no, no." "I am not paying for anymore of your fuck ups." "I've been doing it all night." " What?" " If only you'd just followed Mona's cab like I asked you at the beginning of the night," "I would have followed her into the club, got my photo and I'd be in bed by now, but no, you've got to start a high speed fucking car chase!" "You've been driving me around the city, extorting me at every corner." "You've been picking up psychopaths in the middle of the road!" " It's called customers, Nick!" " Exactly!" "You've been constantly putting my job behind any other fucker that puts their thumb out, right!" "Your customer service, Trevor, it's subpar at best!" "And your little friend, Bill Murray, hasn't done a decent film in a decade!" "Get a new fucking hero, dickhead!" " Bill Murray is the penultimate actor of our generation, Nick!" " Oh here we go again with the penultimate!" "You realize it means the second to last of something!" "It's Nicholas, I don't like Nick!" " Well, I didn't know that." "I'm not a bloody mind reader!" "You've got to tell me!" " I have been, I've been telling you but you don't listen!" "You only listen to yourself!" " Is this cab free?" " No!" " Yes!" " You selfish asshole." " Selfish?" "I've been shot at, pulled over by the police," "I had the shit kicked out of me." "I solicited a prostitute for you!" "And all you've done is winge and complain and ask me to fix your problems." "Who's selfish, Nick?" " I don't mean to be rude, but I need to get to Perth." " Head on through." " Yeah, take it." "It's all yours." " You're paying for this." " Yeah, send me a bill!" "You know my address!" " Oh, Sio!" " Thought you had a sports bag." " Are you talking to me?" " Yeah, I thought you had a sports bag." " Why would you think that?" " Well, that's what they say, isn't it?" "That you come with a sports bag." "Do you have a preferred route?" " Fastest way." " You've got it." "Been planning this for quite some time." " Sio, oh!" " Mona!" " Sio, oh!" "Sio!" " Mona!" "You're not..." "I'm sorry, I must be in the wrong room." " Or the wrong house." "What are you doing here?" " I thought you were sleeping with my fiancee." " It's possible." "I sleep with lots of women." "What's her name?" " Mona." " Doesn't ring any bells." "I'll tell you what, why don't you come with me." "Is it this one?" " No." " Is it this one?" " No." " Ah wait, not this one?" " No." " Maybe it's one of these." " No." " Not the twins." " I'm sorry, I think I've made a terrible mistake." " Ah buddy, you've definitely made a mistake just not the one you think you've made." " You like Bill Murray because I think he's a great actor." "I'd even say..." " I'm not interested in Bill Murray or your opinion on anything else for that matter!" "If you had any worthwhile opinions, you wouldn't be driving a taxicab." "The rate you are, you're probably not much use for anything else so just cut the idle chitchat for the rest of the ride, would ya'?" "You do your job and let me get on with mine." " I'm sorry." "I got to drop you off here." " What, keep driving!" " I can't drive you to Perth today, Mr. Benson." "I've got somewhere I got to be." " I don't want to drive to Perth." "I need to get to the airport, you idiot!" " Are you not Richard Benson?" " No." "What are you doing?" "Get your hands off me!" "You can't do this!" "Cabbies!" " I still don't get it, what does she want from me?" " To be heard." " I hear her." " Nicholas, why do you think it is I've got women lounging around my house?" " Because you're a badass with loads of cash and a fancy car and..." " No." "No, no." "Observe." "Linda, how is that problem your mother is having with her gardener?" " He still hasn't done the gutters." " See her mother is always complaining." "She should probably fire him but he's a family friend so it's complicated, you know." "Oh Jenna, that friend of yours, Laura, has her boyfriend apologized for forgetting her birthday yet?" " He did apologize and he sent flowers to her work." " Not roses, I hope?" " Yeah." " You'd think he'd make an effort, wouldn't ya'?" "Tracey, darling." "Could you just go to the bedroom and have a little look under the bed?" "I left something there earlier." "It was a jacket she was admiring a month ago." "Listen to this!" " Oh my God!" "Sio's done it!" " You hear that?" "See that's not magic, it's just listening." "I listen." "That's why I never find myself in your position because I know my girls inside out on such a deep level that I'd know if they were going to cheat on me long before the thought even came into their heads and then I'd send them off to work" "in one of my clubs like that filthy whore, Nadia!" " I guess you're right, Sio." " Of course I'm right." "If there's one thing I know, it's women." " Found this trash sculping around the yard, boss." " What is this?" " Your rescue." " Oh yeah, and how do you feel it's working out so far?" " Yeah, it's going well." " Apologies again for the intrusion and bursting in on you and your girlfriends, but my friend and I will just get out of your way now." " Nicholas, you know I can't just let you go, right?" " Yeah, yes you can." "Of course you can." " You seem like a nice guy, you do, but I'm not in the habit of letting people go just because they're nice guys." "See it's all about honor." "We must honor our commitments." "We had a deal." "You promised to stop following me or you'd have to face the unfortunate" "consequences." "Now you broke our circle of trust." "Imagine what would happen if I forgave everyone who crossed me," "I'd be walked all over like shit on the street." "I wouldn't get the respect" "I deserve." "But I do like you Nicholas, I really do, so I'm going to give you a choice." "Would you like to die first or" "second?" "First or second?" "First or second?" " Say second." " Second." " Okay Porky." "Time to meet the spit." " Oh what a mistake you've just made!" "You have no idea the shit storm you've just put upon your door step!" " Right now every word you say is being listened to by the entire federal police." " And every move you make is being recorded by one of 18 pinhole cameras." " Bullshit." " Where are ya'?" "You like that, huh, you like that?" " Boss, come have a look at this!" " Seems you two have an admirer." " He's not hurting my cab, is he?" " This one?" "This one's worth a little more, huh?" " Can you go and deal with that?" "Don't touch my car." "Don't touch my fucking car!" "Bring him up here." "Put him next to these..." " On this side, under the bumper." "All right, this is you." "So what are you going to do?" " I'm going to go in there and talk to her." " Yeah, that sounds like a good plan." " Hey, what do I owe you?" " Good luck, Nicholas." "You go get her." "Now." "I need you to get out of the car because you're wasting my time now." " Oh okay, all right." " Yep." " I'll see you." " You're still wasting my time." " Hello?" " Cath'." " Who is this?" " It's Trevor." "Listen, I've been thinking..." " You know what time it is, Trevor?" " Yeah, I know what the fucking time is, Cath." "It's 8:30 in the fucking morning on a Saturday fucking morning!" " Yeah, I know what fucking day it is, Cath'." "Fucking forget it, forget it." "Right." " Mona?" "Mona?" " Nicholas, are you okay?" " Just stay there, just listen to me." "Mona, I want to give you a chance to be honest with me." "I don't care what you've done or who you did it to." "I want our relationship to work, so we have to be open and honest and show respect." "Who is he?" " Who is he who?" " The guy you were with last night?" " I wasn't with a guy last night." "My phone?" " Mona, I read the text messages." " You had it?" " You left it in the cab." " But how did you get it..." " Mona, I'm only going to ask you this one more time." "Who were you with last night?" "Who is Sio Bohan?" " Mona, I just used some of your body butter." "I hope it's okay." " That's who I was with last night." " You must be Nicholas." "I'm Siobhan." " Shi..." "Sorry, how did you say that name again?" " Where to, mate?" " I know this might seem a little strange but I need you to drive me to Perth and back." " Yes sir, Mr. Benson." "What are your thoughts on Bill Murray?" "Because I tell you I recon he's a great actor!" "♫ Here I am so are you" "♫ Going over and over how it came to be" "♫ I don't understand what I managed to do" "♫ To be the lucky one with you happily" "♫ I don't know and I know what I'll see ♫" " Hey, you know you can't get through here?" " Yeah, yeah, yeah, hang on." "♫ Love is the night yeah" "♫ Love is the night night oh" "♫ Love is the night ♫" " That's a stupid way to spell a name." "Those letters don't make those sounds." "Where is it from anyway?" " It's Irish." " So it is Irish" " You know what, I'm just glad he hasn't found out about my other lovers, you know," "Chris Tine." " Oh yeah and Eric A." " Yeah, Eric A." "He's best friends with Frank Ee." "Sometimes they like to double team me." " Who is that?" " Just a friend." " Okay." "Anyway, I booked us a table at Jason's restaurant." "Remember the Jason from high school?" " Yeah."