"[ Woman ] Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime," "Dr. Sam Beckett stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator... and vanished." "He awoke to find himself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that were not his own... and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better." "His only guide on this journey is Al, an observer from his own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Sam can see and hear." "And so, Dr. Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong... and hoping each time that his next leap... will be the leap home." "[ Groans ] [ Horses Whinny ]" "[ Neighing ]" "You killed my three brothers, Tyler." "That just leaves you and me." "[ Man ] Take him, Tyler." "And this town ain't big enough for the two of us." "Oh, boy." "The question is, Tyler, who's it gonna be... me... or you?" "[ Man ] Put him away, Tyler." "Couldn't we just, uh, talk about- about this?" "The time for talkin' is through." "Now's the time for hot lead." " [ Groans ] - [ Women Gasping ]" "I'm sorry, I- I didn't think that- he" "He" " He would, uh" "Thank you!" "Thank you, all!" "Now, let's give a big round of applause... for the man who single-handedly cleaned up Coffin, Arizona." "Tyler Means!" "And for those of you who missed it," "Mr. Means will be reenacting his legendary shootout, in which he shot and killed the four Claggett Brothers, tomorrow at high noon!" "[ Applause ]" "Until then, well, I hope you all... eat, drink and spend lots of money!" "[ Laughs ]" "Thank you!" "Thank you, all!" "* [ Honky Tonk Piano ]" "[ Man Laughs ] You okay, Tyler?" "[ Sam ] Oh, I-I-I'm okay." "I just, uh" " My spurs" "My spurs got caught on the steps, uh- [ Chuckles ]" "Mr. Means, can we have your autograph?" "Uh, sure." ""The Last Gunfighter:" "The Life and Times of Tyler Means. '"" "That's- W-Well, what's your name?" "Cindy and Kyle." "All right." "To Cindy and Kyle." "Hey." "Tyler..." "Means- That's me." "Okay, there you go." "Thanks." "Have a good time." "Grandpa T. Grandpa T." "Can I carry your gun?" "No, you may not." "Stevie, guns aren't things to fool around with, even if they're loaded with blanks." "Aw, Mom!" "Grandpa T. had a gun when he was 1 2." "I'll tell you what, uh, Stevie- T., you've told enough stories already." "One of these days, I wish you'd get started on the truth." "But they were true!" "Or else they wouldn't have been printed in that Reader's Digest, would they?" "Stevie, not everybody can tell when T.'s tellin' a story and when he's not." "It's just too bad that fellow happened to be from Reader's Digest." "Lucy?" "We've got tables that need waiting' on." "Okay,just a minute." "T., please don't let him play with your gun, okay?" "Just take it home and put it away someplace." "Okay." "Okay." "As soon as you wash up, come back." "I'll get you both some lunch." "Love you." "And you- love you too." "Come on, Grandpa T." "I just don't understand why you got to have a gun when you were a kid" "I can't." "Well, times have changed a lot since I was a kid." "Stevie, you know, you don't need a gun nowadays." "[ Groans ]" "That's easy, Stevie." "You just make it up like your granddaddy did." "But he didn't make it up." "D-Did you?" "Uh" "Well, I might have maybe exaggerated a little bit, but- And the rest he just lied about." "[ Chuckles ] See, Stevie, you can't believe everything you hear." "Now, if the town wasn't makin' money building a hero for this centennial celebration, why your granddaddy'd be over at Mr. East's hotel, having drinks and telling stories... and goin' to sleep with a glass in his hand," "instead of parading around in some dime-store outfit, pretending to be a gunslinger for a bunch of tourists." "But he wasn't pretending." "He really was one!" "You're the one who's a liar." "Now, Stevie, is that the way your granddaddy told you to speak to me?" "No, sir." "He said never waste your breath on anyone who's dumber than a mule." "And that any sheriff that fat and slow wasn't worth gettin' to know, 'cause he'd he dead before he knew it." "We don't wanna be late for lunch." "Will you excuse us, Sheriff?" "Thank you." "Hey, Grandpa, can I wear your gun belt after lunch?" "Uh- I mean, I'll stay out of Mom's sight." "I think maybe today we should just do what she says, okay?" "Well, you want me to take this up to your room?" "Okay." "[ Chuckles ]" "All right." "But, listen." "You be careful with this, okay?" "You be very careful." "A gun is not a toy, you know." "I don't know why Mom's got to go ruin all the fun all the time." "[ Portal Opening ] Nice hat." "Nice.!" "Really stylish." "Awesome." "Fantastic outfit too." "What happened- Did Tonto and Bill Hickok have a collision?" "Very funny." "I happen to be a local hero or somethin' like that." "You sure you're not a walking ad for a fringe company?" "It's, uh, November 28, 1 957, and your name is- Tyler Means." "Yeah." "Ty- Tyler Means." "You're 82 years old, and you live in Coffin, Arizona." "Isn't that a nice name" " Coffin." "This place started out as a robbers' hangout, and then it took off when- When they discovered silver in the mid-1 87 0s." "Hey, you want me to tell you this stuff or you want to read it?" "All right." "Back then, this place was wide open, and it was controlled by four vicious gunslingers... by the name of the Cl-Cl- Claggett brothers." "Anyway, apparently, you rode into town... with an old gunfighter partner of yours, and the next thing you know- We got into a shootout with the Claggett boys." "Yeah, and you saved the town." "But then, you settled down." "You're the B.M.O.C., and all the townsfolks, they're very amused by your wild stories... and your boasting and your bragging... and your gambling and your drinkin', but... after a couple of decades of sponging," "the townsfolk kind of get sick of it, and your tales get wilder, and you become a local joke- the town drunk." "You're weaving your tales and mooching drinks." "Until I met this magazine writer." "Mmm." "And Ziggy doesn't have anything more than that, because these little towns didn't keep good records." "But when something comes up" "[ Sighs ] you'll be the first to know." "Uh, in the meantime," "Hi-ho, Silver!" "Oy vey." "* [ Honky Tonk Piano ] - [ Laughter, Chattering ]" "Ladies and gentlemen, the hero of Coffin." "Arizona," "Mr. Tyler Means!" "[ Applause ]" "Thank you." "Thank you." "No-no." "No." "No, thanks." "Oh, since when?" "Since, uh, now." "T.,you want to come over here?" "I swear, I don't know who's a bigger handful-Stevie or him." "You know, the boy has something we can incorporate into the series." "It could be very interesting." "T., Mr. Steiner here wants to write up your life story for the television." "He's from Hollywood." "How you doin'?" "How does that idea strike you, Mr. Means?" "You two sit yourself down here with Mr. Steiner while I get you some lunch." "And, Stevie, mind your manners." "It's T. Mr. Steiner wants to talk to." "Let me lay it out for you, Mr. Means." "NBC's been looking for a good idea for a new Western." "Th-They're very popular right now." "Now we read your story in the magazine, and it gave us an idea." ""The Last Gunfighter:" "The Life and Times ofTyler Means."" "Grandpa T., you're gonna be on TV." "Oh, I-I don't think... that's exactly what he meant, Stevie." "[ Laughs ] No." "We were thinking of having someone play him when he was younger." "Uh, Randolph Scott, Robert Taylor, uh, maybe Dana Andrews?" "Now, what I'd like to do, Mr. Means, is have some of the people who handle the business affairs for us... talk to you and work out a contract that would cover the rights to your life story." "And then we would sit down, and you would tell me your history." "Oh, Grandpa T.'s got lots of' stories." "And that's just what they are to0- stories." "Well, that's what TV is all about." "Now, of course, we'd have to fictionalize somewhat." "[ Chuckles ] Ain't no need to do that. mister." "Tyler's already done it." "[ Laughs ]" "That all sounds all right." "That sounds fine." "Um, as long as it's fair, and you'd take care of my family." "Oh, I don't think that'll be a problem." "Wow, Grandpa T., you're gonna be famous." "Well, I'll tell you right now." "It don't matter who plays him." "Nobody in his right mind's gonna watch it." "You gonna make book on that, are you, Sheriff?" "What kind of odds you givin'?" "[ Steiner Laughs ]" "[ Lucy ] Here we go." "The sheriff's the local bookie?" "Ah, he's more like our local cynic, I think." "It comes with the job." "The badge doesn't pay enough for a man to live on." " The West has always been like that." " Well, you're right." "Wyatt Earp was a gambler while he wore the star." "Okay, Mr. Means." "Do we have a deal?" "All right." "Yeah." "Then we've got ourselves a television series." "Yeah." "And the pilot will be the story about how you cleaned up this town." "Oh, uh-Well, uh- Sam." "Sam." "You've got to get out of town." " What?" " Oh, it's a great way to start the series." "We got to talk." "Now meet me outside." "I'd like to start right away." "We can clear up some of the background while you eat." "Yeah, listen, uh, tell you what." "Could we, uh, maybe do that a little bit later, all right?" "I gotta go right now, if you'll excuse me and go take a nap." "A-A nap?" "Yeah." "When you get to be my age, you gotta store energy, and sometimes" "Are you feeling okay?" "Oh, I'm fine." "I'll see you later." "I think I've had enough too, Mom." "No, no." "You come sit down." "Finish your lunch." "Hey!" "You look familiar." "[ Horse Sputters, Whinnies ]" "Didn't you come out on Bonanza?" "[ Man ] Whee.!" "[ Al ] That was Hoss." "Oh, Sam, I just saw that guy from Bonanza." "What?" "Yeah." "He's drivin' that pair of- pair- pair-pair" "There, now, that's a pair.!" "Ay-yi-yi." "[ Whistles ]" "Al?" "What?" "Huh?" "Oh!" "Oh, listen" "Listen." "I've been talkin' to you in the waiting" "Uh, to-to Tyler, the guy you leaped into, in the waiting room." "And Ziggy rates the chances of this guy telling a straight story... at 1 6% or less." "I don't think the guy knows what really happened." "He-He spins yarns, and he likes to be the hero." "So, he likes to tell stories." "What's that have to do with me leaving town?" "Tomorrow, at high noon- Yeah?" "you get killed in a shootout." "In a shootout?" "Yes." "You got to be kidding me." "Who would want to shoot me?" "Well, I-I- [ Man ] Me." "Oh, boy." "[ Nickers ] [ Spurs Clinking ]" "T.?" "[ Sighs ]" "I don t know what's gotten into you." "But you shouldn't have just left..." " Mr. Steiner hangin' there like that." " I just needed to get some air." "I'll give you some air." "[ Cocks Pistol ]" "Uh, be cool, Sam." "Nothing happens until tomorrow." "Russ, don't just stand there." "Arrest him!" "It's a centennial play." "I'm kind of curious to see where this is goin'." "Pardon me, ma'am, for distressing' you." "My business is with this... lyin', double-faced cardsharp." "I think he's talkin' about you, Sam." "So you killed the Claggett boys, did you?" "Uh, yeah, I-I think so." "Yeah." "The mistake you made, mister, was in assuming I was dead." "I'm alive, Tyler." "Outlivin' you is gonna be easy." "I'm sorry." "Um" "I'm not quite getting what's going on here." "Uh, I'm Ben Steiner." "And you are?" "Tell him." " Tell all of'em." " [ Ziggy Beeping ]" "Yeah, Ziggy says there's a 96% chance this is your old partner, uh, Pat Knight." "This is, uh- [ Clears Throat ]" " Pat Knight." " Kinda like seein' Lazarus, isn't it?" "This guy's killed more men than Clint Eastwood." "[ Lucy ] It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Knight." "But I would appreciate it if you would just put your gun away... and-and leave." "I didn't come here to leave." "Of course not." "You come here for the centennial," "He knows why I'm here." "[ Resets Hammer]" "Tomorrow there's gonna be a reckoning." "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to see about a room and a... bath." "Ma'am." "[ Spurs Clinking ]" "Well, now, looks like our local hero's been called out for real." "Wonder what's he gonna do about it." "What's it all about, Tyler?" "Uh, it's just a kind of a little misunderstanding is all." "Uh, Mr. Means." "I hate to say this, but I've got a network... and an awful lot of money riding on you." "Does this have something to do with your story in the Reader's Digest?" "Oh, Sam, uh, in the original history, you get killed before you make the deal, and that leaves Lucy and Steve in a big jam." "So I think you better talk about this a little bit." "[ Clears Throat ]" "Get away from here and talk about it." "I think, Mr. Steiner, if you just go ahead and have your business people draw up the contracts," "I will take care of any little misunderstandings." "Yeah, Grandpa T.!" "Bam, bam, bam!" "Shhh." "Yeah." "I tell you what." "I'll lay 3-to-1 odds..." "Tyler either crawfishes or Pat Knight shoots him deader'n a dog." "No way." "I'll take a little piece of that." "Let's make it 4-to-1 ." "There's not gonna be any shooting." "Guns don't solve anything." "Unless you're the last man standing." "[ Laughs ]" "Sorry." "Now if you'll excuse me." "Gentlemen, I'm gonna go home and get some rest." "If I were you, Sheriff, I wouldn't bet on any fight happening." "So what is this Tyler guy sayin' anyway back in the waiting room?" "Hm, he says he wants a drink, and he wants another physical." "Another?" "He likes the nurses." "Ohh." "Outside of that, nothing." "Do you have anything more on Stevie and Lucy?" "No,just-just what I said before- it's tough times." "Uh, Lucy's having trouble making ends meet now." "And when you get killed, the TV deal gets canceled." "And Stevie grows up, runs away from home and becomes a hood." "Spends the rest of his life in and out of jail." "Well, where's his father in all of this?" "Uh" "Peter Means is his father's name, and he was killed in action in World War II." "So then, I'm-I'm his only father image." "Yeah." "And he's counting on me... to be the hero that I always told him I was, but when I'm not then- Then the bubble burst, and he lashed out on his own." "That sounds kind of simple, but you get the gist of it." "All right." "So what am I supposed to do?" "Am I supposed to kill Pat Knight?" "Can I have his gun when you shoot him?" "Stevie, don't talk like that." "Now, go wash up for dinner." "Go on. [ Clucks Tongue ] Aw, Mom." "T.?" "Hmm?" "What's going on?" "Nothin'." "I was just talking to myself." "About killing Pat Knight?" "Nobody's gonna kill anybody." "Well. then, why are you even talking about it?" "Because I was remembering a-a story- a time when I used to ride with Pat, you know, and-and" "And somebody came up to me and offered me money to kill him," " but I turned him down." " Ooh, Sam, that's pretty good." "I don't remember you telling me that story... or even talking about him." "Well, there are a lot of things I haven't... told you about." "I bet there are." "Mmm." "[ Laughs ]" "But, T., this-this man, he wasn't kidding around." "Lucy, please." "I'm gonna be okay." "I won't do anything foolish." "Good. 'Cause I couldn't stand it if something happened to you." "I swear to you." "I won't let you and Stevie down." "[ Sighs ]" "T., you always say that, but it never happens." "Like when this Mr. Steiner showed up and offered to pay you for your stories," "I thought, "Now we can send Stevie to college." "He can" " He can be somebody when he grows up."" "But now..." "I have a bad feeling about all this." "[ Sighs ]" "You gonna change before dinner?" "Yeah, in a minute." "Okay." "Where are you going?" "I'm gonna settle this once and for all." "You said in a minute." "* [ Blues Piano ]" " It'll be just fine." "* [ Continues ]" "About time there, Tyler." "I was afraid you weren't gonna stop by this evening." "Thanks." "I'm still not drinking." "[ Knight ] Runnin'out of spending money, Tyler?" "Evenin'." "Be happy to buy you a drink." "Just make sure you pay me back before noon." "Mr. Means." "Mr. Knight has been telling me some very interesting stories." "Wish I could have been here." "Yeah, that way, we'd all know what we're talking about." "[ Bartender ] Mr. Steiner, long distance phone call for you." "It's from, uh, Hollywood in California." "I'll take it in my room." "Gentlemen." "I don't recall asking' you to join me." "Look, Pat." "I gotta be honest here." "My mind's not as good as it used to be, so I" "I don't remember why you're here." "[ Knight Laughs ]" "Uh-uh." "Not this time." "I can see it in your eyes." "You know exactly why I'm here." "We're gonna settle it at noon tomorrow." "Look, whatever I did- whatever happened- okay?" "I'm sorry, okay?" "Uh, I'm sorry." "That mean you're gonna give up the TV deal too?" "What would I do that for?" "[ Laughs ]" "You haven't changed a bit." "No, no, you- You don't understand." "I'm not interested in the TV deal for myself." "See, the TV deal is for Lucy and Stevie." "You know, so he can go to college." "Remember that night in Abilene?" "Abilene." "Uh, Abilene." "I'm- I'm a little hazy on that." "[ Beeping ]" " Uh, no." "Nada." "Zip." "Zilch." " Patience, that was her name." "Patience." "[ Laughs ]" "And she was anything but." "You and I almost drew down on each other then, but we settled it another way." "And I'm glad we did." "I am very glad that we did." "[ Raps Glass On Table ]" "Once partners, always partners." "Once partners, always partners." "Last man standing is the winner." "You better do it." "You better do it." "Uh, it's better than swapping lead." "[ Inhales, Exhales Deeply ]" "To Patience." " [ Liquid Pouring ] - [ Scoffs ]" "[ Drunken Laughter ]" "And then, what about that bank..." "[ Laughing ] they hired us to guard up in..." "Hoffberg." "Hoffberg?" "That was great." "Yeah." "We stole all them sacks of gold dust... and found out they were filled with sand!" "[ Laughing ] [ Laughing ] That was great." "Too bad- Too bad if I'd had to kill all them folks." "Uh, yeah." "Hey." "Hey, how about that time when- [ Laughs ] when we stole those horses from that guy with the cute daughters?" "[ Laughs ]" "I don't know" " I don't know... what tired us out more riding'-wh-which one." "[ Drunken Laughter ] Sam, what are you talking about?" "[ Laughing ] Wait a minute." "I" " I don't remember no daughters." "[ Laughing Subsides ]" "Maybe I saw that in a movie or somethin'." "[ Chuckles ] Yeah." "[ Wheezing Laugh ]" "Ooh, whoo-whoo-whoo." "You know, Ty?" "Mm?" "I sure am gonna hate havin' to kill you." "Well, I tell you, why don't we- why don't we have another drink and just forget the whole thing?" "Just forget it right now." "[ Chuckles ] Oh, no." "I can't do that." "Mm-hmm." "Gotta uphold my honor." "Besides, I've got a side bet with the sheriff... on which way you're gonna fall." "I'm sayin' face up." "That, of course, is assuming you can hit me." "[ Wheezing Laugh ]" "Hey, what the- Hey!" "I reckon I can do that." "[ Sam:" "Drunkenly ] Har-har." "You'll have to walk the plank if you're" "[ Coughing ]" "[ Laughing ]" "Sam, you are gonna be a mess in the morning." "[ Muttering ]" "And probably a dead mess." "[ Sam ] Quiet." "[ Ziggy Beeping ] Nobody's gonna get killed." "Shh, shh, shh." "You're gonna shoot him, though, aren't you?" "Ohh, boy." "Stevie, there's a hole right there." "Watch that hole." "Stevie." "[ Exhales Sharply ]" "This isn't a game that we're talkin' about, you know." "You know, guns kill people." "You're not afraid to face him, are you?" "Afraid to- Yeah, I'm afraid to face him." "Anybody who says they're not afraid to stand in front of a loaded gun... is either crazy or stupid... or suicidal or nuts or out of their- [ Stevie ] But we can't back down." "Everybody'll make fun of us." "And" "An-An-And the kids'll go back to teasing' me all over again." "Oh, wait a second." "Wait a second." "Sit down here." "Sit down." "[ Sighs ] Now listen to me." "I know this may sound corny to you probably, but... life is precious." "And, you see, once you're dead, you're... dead." "But everybody's gonna laugh at us." "Th-They're gonna say you're just a drunk." "[ Sam Clears Throat ]" "It doesn't really matter what other people do or say." "What matters is what you know in here... about yourself and about others." "Because the most important person you have to listen to... is you." "Right?" "I" " I guess so." "Well, you guess right." "So come on, come on." "Give your ol' grandpa a kiss good night. huh?" "Okay." "[ Kissing Sound ]" "Now get some sleep, 'cause it's late." "I'm sure of it." "Okeydokey." "Okay." "Sleep tight." "[ Door Creaking ] [ Sam ] Whew.!" " A lot of pride in that boy." " [ Door Closes ]" "Yeah, well, there's a lot of pride in Pat Knight too." "You know, Sam, uh, it might not be a bad idea for you to, uh, familiarize yourself with Tyler's gun." "No." "No?" "No, don't you see?" "There aren't gonna be any gunfights." "See, I got it all figured out." "[ Chuckles ] Wh" "Listen to this." "I'm gonna get him thrown in jail, see?" "That way, there- there won't be any gunfights." "[ Ziggy Beeps ]" "No gunfights." "Yeah." "No." "You still get killed tomorrow." "But, you know, it only takes one guy... to decide to have a gunfight." "In the Old West, they were really ambushes." "Ambushes?" "Yeah, in the back kind of stuff." "Ambushes?" "Yeah, ambushes." "I better see if there are some bullets in the house." "I didn't think-Ambushes." "All right, fine." "[ Rooster Crowing ]" "[ Al ] Now, are we in the head-pounding stage... or in the spinning, rising waves of nausea?" "Hmm?" "Take your pick." "That's impressive." "Yeah, I just... hope that Pat Knight feels worse than I do." "[ Cylinder Clicking ] Oh, my gosh." "Don't tell me you were a gunslinger in the navy." "Well, back in the old days, they were called "gunfighters" or "pistoleros"... or, uh, " shootists." Mm-hmm." "And I had the best quick-draw artist in America teach me." "Really?" "Yes, really." "Her name was..." "Her name" "Fifi " Boom-Boom" LaRue." "Al." "She was a stripper in New Orleans." "She had the finest matched pair- Al!" "[ Groans ] Matched pair of.44 pistols." "She had 'em in little secret holsters- real cute." "It was part of her act." "But she could draw, lemme tell you." "I know." "'Cause I studied her" "Yeah, I bet you- very closely." "Yeah, I bet you did." "[ Hammer Clicks ]" "Now come with me." "You gotta learn this." "Wow!" "Fifi taught you that?" "Yes." "She taught me a lot of stuff." "Wait a second." "Wait-wait-wait- Now you're gonna learn." "This is too close." "Wait, wait, wait?" "It's not too close!" "I wanna be back there." "It's farther back there." "No-no-no." "Fifteen to 20 feet, that was normal for gunfighters." "Huh?" "Anything farther than that, that's just Hollywood." "Now, line yourself up." "No, face the target, Sam." "Turn this way." "Face the" "You're gonna shoot over there, okay?" "Okay." "Hang your hand down here, nice and loose, loose, loose." "[ Groans ] You're gonna catch the hammer of the gun with the inside of your thumb, and as you pull up, you cock that sucker like that- Bang!" "Okay, try it." "[ Exhales ] Okay." "Yeah." "You almost got it." "Now try it again." "[ Grunts ]" "Not bad." "Not bad." "But don't rush it." "Come on." "Let's see you do it." "You gotta catch the hammer with the inside of your thumb as you're drawing' the gun up." "Clear the holster, and you're rea-That's it." "Pull the trigger!" "[ Al ] Good.!" "Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi." ""Ay-yi-yi'"?" "That was a pretty good shot." "I was aiming for the one on the right." "Shhh." "Oh." "Oh, well, at least you're in the neighborhood." "[ Laughs ] Al, this is impossi" "[ Three Gunshots ]" "Huh, huh, huh" "[ Groans ]" "Don't do to talk to yourself while you're shootin'." "Breaks your concentration." "So much for him havin' a hangover too." "It's awful decent of you to give your opposition shooting tips." "What kind of opposition is that?" "I was just out takin' some air." "I heard the noise." "You are pitiful, T." "Look, Pat." "You're better at this th-than, uh, I am." "We both know that." "But doesn't it seem that... two reasonable men should be able to figure out a solution... to all this without havin' to" "Only one of us is reasonable." "The other's a liar." "Look." "I know you don't believe me, but I don't know... what you're talking about." "I was the one who walked out into the street and fought the four Claggett boys... face-to-face and shot 'em all... dead." "Not you." "Well, I guess Tyler omitted that from his article." "Look." "I can understand now why you're so angry at me, what-what with the article and-and all." "Angry doesn't begin to describe it." "No man likes to have his reputation bushwhacked... by his partner." "Oh, hey!" "Maybe- Maybe he ambushed the Claggetts." "Try that." "Wait a second." "I was just thinkin' that maybe" "Ambush- Wait, I remember." "You ambushed a couple of the Claggett boys, didn't ya?" "I caught Elwyn comin' off his horse." "[ Laughs ]" "But Wendell had a gun when he came out of that outhouse." "And Jonah and Jamie, I faced-off fair and square." "Yeah, with a little help from you." "With a little help from me." "[ Laughs ] All you ever did was make 'em duck." "Yeah, but the point is, you didn't do it alone..." "or face-to-face." "You bent your story, same way I did." "It-It's not so terrible." "I didn't bend my story." "You outright lied." "You said you did it alone." "Yeah, well, if you wanted to be such a big hero, why didn't you stick around?" "Good one." "You know why?" "Someone had to ride out to the Claggett place and break the news to Ruthie." "[ Together] Ruthie?" "Someone had to..." "comfort that poor girl." "[ Ziggy Beeping ]" "Ruthie Claggett, younger sister of the Claggett boys" " Ruthie." "Uh" "Must've been some comforting, considering that you never came back." "Well, let's just say it took longer than I expected." "Oh, that sounds like an interesting story." "Look, Pat." "If I change my story now, I'll lose everything." "You made the problem, mister, and it's up to you to make it right." "Yeah, but the only thing that's at stake here is-is your pride." "Now you can't believe that it's worth killing' somebody over a matter of pride." "What the hell else did we ever have?" "I think we'd better get some more bottles and... work on your fast draw." "[ Hammer Clicks ]" "I'm not gonna go out there and play his stupid game, Al." "Well, you gotta do something." "We're running out of time." "[ Sighs ]" "You're not gonna run away, are you, Grandpa?" "Look, Stevie, in the Old West, when there were few laws and even fewer lawmen, people wore guns as-as part of their wardrobe." "They used them to defend themselves." "But not anymore." "Yeah, well, that's not what you said before he came to town." "Don't you remember what we were talkin' about last night?" "Yeah, but a man doesn't quit!" "A man just doesn't run away!" "[ Breathlessly ] You see, you- you always told me that." "And now you're gonna run away." "And the whole town's gonna know you're just a coward." "[ Sighs ]" "If Knight wants to kill me, he's gonna have to do it in cold blood, because I'm not goin', Al." "I am not goin'." "[ Clock Ticking ]" "[ Ziggy Beeping ] [ Al ] Sam, sitting there isn't gonna do it." "Ziggy says you still get killed." "Okay, okay." "Then maybe I should do what Stevie said." "[ Ziggy Squealing ]" "Maybe I should just run away." "[ Beeping, Twittering Continue ]" "Yeah." "Bingo!" "Sam, that's it." "What?" "You run away." "You live to be 95, and you die of natural causes in your sleep, peacefully." "Great." "Great." "What about Stevie?" "Uh- [ Beeping ]" "Stevie- Well, he still grows up." "Yeah." "Uh, he runs away, and he still does jail time like before." "But it gets worse." "He picks a fight in some bar and gets killed." "Al, I can't stand by and watch this kid ruin his life, damn it!" "Well, it's better than committing suicide facing off this guy Pat Knight." "He could shoot your eyes out before you blink." "[ Beeping, Twittering ] Could he?" "Huh?" "What?" "Outdraw me." "Could" "I mean, the guy is 82 years old, right?" "Now, granted, he-he's more accurate than I am, but- but my reflexes have gotta be faster." "Sam." "My synapses have gotta be quicker, because I'm 50 years younger!" "Get real!" "What?" "Ziggy only gives you a 1 7% chance... of drawing as fast as this guy." "He's old, but he's still good." "[ Clock Ticking ]" "I'm gonna get my gun." "Well, since I got some time to kill, anybody interested in a hand?" "[ Ticking Continues ]" "Aren't you going to do something?" "No law against playing' poker, even if you are playin' by yourself." "[ Ticking Continues ]" "[ Footsteps ]" "[ Door Creaks Open ]" "Morning, Stevie." "My grandpa's not a liar." "Kind of heavy, the way it hangs there, isn't it?" "It's not that heavy." "Sheriff." "Mr. Knight." " How old are you, son?" " Twelve." " Bu-But I'm gonna be 1 3 in December." " [ Ticking Continues ]" "I was 1 5 before I killed my first man." "[ Smacks Lips ]" "But I guess, uh, today you grow up faster." "Al, have you seen my gun?" "What do you mean, have I seen your gun?" "I can't find my gun." "[ Lucy ] Stevie?" "You can't find your gun?" "Stevie?" "Where did you leave it?" "T., have you seen Stevie?" "Uh-oh." "[ Ziggy Beeps ] I gotta go to the saloon." "You can't go to that fight!" "Sam, Stevie is gonna try and quick draw with Pat Knight, and he's gonna get killed." "If I don't go, Stevie's gonna do it for me." "[ Gasps ] My Lord!" "Come on." " [ Shuddering ]" " Stevie, don't do anything stupid." "Tell me, Stevie." "Your grandpa send you," " or did you come on your own?" " I came on my own." "Got no quarrel with you, Stevie." "You said you cleaned up the town." "But you didn't." "He did." "No, Stevie." "He didn't." " Yes, he did!" " [ Running Footsteps ]" "Stevie" "[ Bonging ]" "You're on time." "Underdressed, as usual." "[ Bonging Continues ] Give me the gun, Stevie." "No, no, no." "You're just going to run away again." "No, I'm not." "Now, give me the gun." "[ Bonging Continues ]" "Now don't you think there's been enough killing already?" "Easy to say when you're livin' on another man's reputation." "You just gonna hold that thing?" "Sam, this is completely loony." "I guess sometimes you can't run away from your fate, can you?" "Sometimes I guess you can't." "I'll be waiting." "[ Lucy ] No.!" "I'm not going to let you get yourself killed!" "Tyler, I guess you'll be wantin'this." "[ Spurs Clinking ] [ Door Creaking ]" "Uh, Sam, don't worry, okay?" "'Cause I-I'm gonna think of somethin' clever to get you out of this." "Mom, what's he doin'?" "Sometimes there isn't a clever way out." "Praying, I hope." "Uh- See, I think you're too close." "Anything closer than 20 yards, and h-he can't miss." "Anything over 20 feet, and I don't stand a chance." "[ Chattering, Laughing ]" "Ladies and gents, the drinks are on the house!" "[ Cheering ] Come over here." "Let me buy you a drink." "How about a big round of applause for our hero, Mr. Tyler Means!" "Whoo!" "You did it." "You sign the deal." "Everything turns out great for Lucy and Stevie." "Great." "Excuse me." "I'll be right back." "You know, that didn't mean anything." "It did to them." "Tell you what, uh" "Give me" " Give me a chance to make it up to you, all right?" "Hey, Mr. Steiner, come over here for a second, would ya?" "Listen, Mr. Steiner." "I was wonderin' if maybe, uh- maybe we could find... a consulting job or something like that for Pat on my TV show." "'Cause he would really help me keep my memory fresh." " [ Ziggy Beeping ]" " Mr. Means, he just tried to kill you." "I know that." "But once partners, always partners." "[ Laughing ] Well, sure." "All right." "Why not?" "All right." "Get ready to leap, partner." "Hey, wait a second." "Maybe we could give him a part in the show." "In the show?" "Yeah, isn't that a good idea?" "You got a problem with that?" "* [ Singing '60s Pop ]" "[ Cheers, Applause ] [ Groans ]" "[ Muttering ]" "Oh, God." "They love us!" "'Cause we're bad, girlfriend!" "They want an encore." "What are we gonna do, Cherea?" "Let's go!" "Let's go!" "Let's go do it!" "We don't have any more songs." "Just do a reprise." "Come on." "Cherea!" "No, no." "I don't" " I don't  [ Man ] Let's go.!" " Oh, boy!"