"Oh, no, no, no." "Charlie, honey, look." "If you do it one strand at a time, it's prettier." "See?" "Whatever." "Forget it, Mom." "Charlie with tinsel is like Dad with spaghetti." ""Pretty" just ain't gonna happen." "Yeah, well, you..." "This isn't over." "Bob, honey, listen I've got a million things to do this week, so I need you to take Charlie to see Santa." "Sure." "What did I just say?" "I have no idea." "Honey, I'm trying to think of a good comeback for Gabe." "Again, I need you to take Charlie to see Santa." "And you have got to find out what present she wants most." "Okay." "Got it." "Charlie, Santa, present." "Three words?" "That's all you heard?" "Honey, that's two more than I usually hear." "Guys, guess what?" "I just got into NYU!" "Hey!" "Oh, honey." "That's great." "Hey, congratulations!" "How cool." "What are you guys talking about?" "Charlie, honey, I know this might be sad, but Teddy's gonna be going away to college soon." "Can I have your room?" "No, honey, Mommy's turning it into a recording studio." "Because she's so sad." "So, uh, NYU wants an answer right away and how can I make a decision until I've actually seen the place?" "We can't just drop everything and take you to New York." "Yeah." "And we're not going to let you fly across country by yourself." "Too bad there isn't another adult who can go with her." "You're an adult." "I am?" "Oh, yeah, I guess I am." "So I can go if PJ goes with me?" "Yeah." "I guess that would be okay." "But your job is to keep an eye on her." "Oh, and the thing is, the last campus tour" "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" "You guys are gonna be gone on Christmas Eve?" "It's okay, we'll be back for Christmas." "PJ, you'll make us Christmas Eve dinner before you go, right?" "You'll do that for us, right?" "Gabe, honey, don't be ridiculous." "Why should he make it, freeze it, thaw it, re-heat it, when I can just make Christmas Eve dinner?" "You'll do that for us, right?" "♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie" "♪ Today's all burnt toast" "♪ Running late and Dad jokes" "♪ Has anybody seen my left shoe?" "♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey" "♪ I close my eyes, take a bite" "♪ Grab a ride, laugh out loud" "♪ There it is, up on the roof" "♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie" "♪ My whole world is changing Turning around" "♪ They got me going crazy" "♪ But they took a chance on the new girl in town" "♪ And I don't want to let them down, down, down" "♪ Them down, down, down" "♪ Hang in there, baby Things are crazy" "♪ But I know your future's bright" "♪ Hang in there, baby There's no maybe" "♪ Everything turns out all right" "♪ Sure, life is up and down" "♪ But trust me It comes back around" "♪ You're gonna love who you turn out to be" "♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie ♪" "PJ, where are we going?" "I have to be at NYU in less than an hour." "To one of the most famous landmarks in the city." "And here we are." "A hot dog cart?" "Not just any hot dog cart." "George's Kraut Dogs." "Oh." "According to online reviews, this is the best in all the city." "There was some speculation about a cart down in Chinatown, but that was squashed." "The speculation?" "No, the cart." "It got hit by a bus." "Oh, my gosh, you must be George." "Oh, my gosh, you must be able to read." "Two kraut dogs, please." "Oh, I don't want kraut on mine." "Get out!" "What?" "No kraut, no sale." "You want hot dog, you go somewhere else." "Okay, that was fun." "So, let's meet up in, like, three hours." "Where you gonna be?" "Right here." "I'm not going anywhere." "PJ, you have one day in New York City and you're gonna spend it at a hot dog cart?" "Why would I leave?" "Because..." "Okay, see ya." "One kraut dog, please, extra kraut." "No!" "You get as much kraut as I put on." "No more, no less." "Oh." "Oh, my." "Mmm." "The snap of the casing, the tang of the kraut." "Oh, you are a genius." "And you are not wrong." "Mmm." "Ho, ho, ho!" "And what is your name?" "Charlie." "And have you been a good girl?" "Eh." "Your honesty is refreshing." "What would you like for Christmas?" "Oh, that's good." "Okay." "Merry Christmas, Charlie!" "Um, okay, so, what did you ask Santa for?" "He knows." "He's Santa." "Well..." "Um, actually, he's just one of Santa's helpers." "The real Santa is up at the North Pole." "So, you can tell me what you asked for." "It's a secret." "Okay, um, hang on a second." "Stand right here." "Okay?" "Uh, excuse me, Santa?" "Oh, oh, listen, buddy, there's a weight limit on this ride." "I'm sorry." "I wanted to talk to the Santa that was just here." "He'll be back this afternoon." "We like to put on fresh pants every couple hours." "It's my first time on the subway." "And me without a balloon." "There's some of that New York humor I've heard so much about." "Uh-huh." "It's my first time in the city." "Or as you natives call it, The Big Apple." "So, you don't have a book or a magazine or..." "Actually, could you tell me what stop I need to get off at?" "I'm trying to get to NYU." "Oh." "Here's what you wanna do." "Take this all the way to the end of the line, get off, get on another train going the opposite direction." "More of that trademark New York humor?" "Nope." "You're going the wrong way." "now that I've been hanging out here for a while, I have a question." "They are 67% beef." "That wasn't the question." "Oh, good. (SIGHS) I was fudging the numbers." "You're out here for hours." "Mmm-hmm." "What do you do when you have to go to the bathroom?" "Well, I try not to think about it." "'Cause if I think about it then I have to go." "And now I'm thinking about it!" "Watch the cart!" "I'll be back." "Wow." "It's all mine." "Oh, and that's hot!" "Uh, one kraut dog, no kraut." "Skyler?" "PJ?" "Hi." "Teddy's taking a tour of NYU." "We're just here for the day." "And you got a job?" "It's just temporary." "Oh." "So, how are you?" "Um, great." "I'm graduating high school, getting ready to go off to college." "Wow, good for you." "Well, uh, here's your kraut dog, no kraut." "Uh, what do I owe you?" "It's the least I can do for my ex-girlfriend." "Thanks." "Well, it was good seeing you." "Yeah, you, too." "(SIGHS)" "Of all the hot dog stands in all the towns, in all the world, she had to walk up to the one I'm temporarily working at." "Hey, honey." "How'd it go at the mall?" "Fine." "Okay, what went wrong?" "I didn't find out what Charlie wanted for Christmas." "What?" "Well, she whispered it to Santa and then she wouldn't tell me." "Well, did you ever think about asking Santa?" "I tried to, but by then, Wise Guy Santa had replaced Fresh Pants Santa." "Honey, it's crazy down there." "Okay, as usual, I have to handle it myself." "They won't let you talk to him unless you got a kid." "Gabe!" "What?" "Let's go." "You're talking to Santa." "All right." "Let me just shave, I'll be right with you." "(BRAKES SCREECHING)" "MAN ON PA: (MUMBLING) We're experiencing a temporary minor delay, should be moving shortly." "Excuse me?" "Did you, uh, did you catch any of that?" "(MUMBLING) "We're experiencing a temporary minor delay, should be moving shortly."" "There is a temporary minor delay, but we're gonna be moving shortly." "(SIGHS) Well, that's good news." "No, it's bad news." "Why?" "You're not from New York, are you?" "No." "How did you know?" "'Cause you don't speak subway." ""Temporary minor delay" means "We're not going anywhere for a long, long time."" ""Should be moving shortly" means "I'm not kidding." "A long, long time."" "But if it's not true, then why would they say that?" "Oh, 'cause he wants everyone to remain calm." "Well, it's not working!" "This is not good." "I need to get to NYU." "This train needs to start moving, now!" "If you click your heels three times, I'm sure we'll be on our way." "Hey, I have to get somewhere, too." "I have a very important audition." "Yeah, the difference is, she might actually get into NYU." "I'm hoping you two know each other." "Oh." "I'm Jessie, this is Zuri." "I'm her nanny." "I'm Teddy." "Hi." "Jessie, I'm hungry." "We'll get you something to eat after my audition." "So I have to wait for you to blow the audition, then I have to console you, then I get something to eat?" "Yes." "Same routine as always." "But I'm hungry now." "(SNIFFS) And something smells good." "What's that?" "Lasagna." "And it's for a Christmas party I'm going to." "We could have a party right now." "Uh, uh, uh!" "Sit." "Um, listen, while we're stuck here, would you mind running lines with me?" "Why not?" "Okay, so we're at a very fancy country club, and you're having tea with your friends." "Cue me in." "Okay." ""I've spent all my summers in Southampton." ""The smell of the beach always brings me back to a simpler time." ""Oh, here's the girl now."" "More tea?" "That's it?" "Yeah." "It's not a very big part." "They never are." "Ho, ho, ho!" "Who's next?" "Okay, let's do this one standing up." "I think that might be best." "Tell me your name, little..." "Man." "Gabe." "I want cash." "Next!" "Hi, Santa." "Uh, my little girl was here a few hours ago." "Uh, actually, that's a picture of you." "Oh, sorry about that." "Let me just get one of her." "That's me." "Me, me, me, me." "Oh, here she is." "With me." "Do you remember what present she wanted?" "Yeah." "It was a doll." "Are you sure?" "Or a pony." "Okay, now I feel like you're just trying to get rid of me." "It's always a doll or a pony." "Once in a while you get a kitten or a bike." "Dolls and ponies those are your mainstays." "I don't care about that!" "It's Christmas Eve!" "I'm running out of time, and I've got to know!" "Ma'am, you're a little out of control." "The holidays can do that to people." "No." "It's not just the holidays." "Okay." "So, I want Christmas to be perfect." "Is that so wrong?" "Joe, we got another holiday stress case." "Is there a problem?" "Yes, there's a problem." "It's Christmas Eve and everything is falling apart!" "I hear what you're saying." "Now, let's go to Candy Cane Village, have some nog and talk about our feelings." "Okay." "Okay." "Yeah, yeah, I think that might be best." "Hey, George." "What?" "You sold a dog with no kraut." "I can see it in your face." "I didn't mean to." "It was for my ex-girlfriend." "No exceptions!" "Everybody gets kraut!" "Except for Mr. Billy Joel!" "Piano Man gets it any way he wants." "I'm sorry, when I saw her, I realized I hadn't really gotten over her." "And did you tell her this?" "No." "I choked." "I just let her walk out of my life again." "Well, PJ, I think you should find her and tell her how you feel." "She sounds like a very special girl." "How am I going to do that?" "We're in the middle of the biggest city in the world." "There's got to be, like, 10 million people in the..." "Oh, there she is." "Hi, PJ." "Look, I'm really glad you came back, 'cause I got to tell you something." "The minute I saw you, I knew I was still crazy about you." "That's why I came back, too." "I just finished talking to the kebab guy around the corner..." "Oh, Ezra?" "He's my cousin, and very wise in the ways of love." "He helped me realize that I'm still crazy about you, too." "Really?" "Really." "Now that I have you back in my life, I'm never gonna let you go." "Actually, I have to go." "My family and I are driving to Maine for Christmas." "So this is it?" "I'm afraid so." "I mean, you'll be in Denver, and I'll be off to college." "Where are you going?" "Denver University." "Will you write me?" "Oh, every day." "I think I can help." "You're going to school in Denver?" "Yeah." "And you live in Denver." "BOTH: (GASPING) Oh!" "Yes, I'll hold." ""More tea?"" ""More tea?"" "I will trade you one piece of lasagna for a ride on a private jet." "That's right, I can make that happen." ""More tea." See?" "Now it sounds like I'm saying "Morty."" "Yes." "Hi." "Um, I was supposed to take the tour today at 2:00." "(PLAYING STEEL DRUM) But, um, I'm..." "I'm stuck in the subway." "So..." "(SIGHS) Hold on." "Excuse me, I'm sorry, but I'm trying to make an important phone call here." "Yeah, and I'm practicing my audition." "So keep it down." "Seriously, could you knock it off?" ""More..." Yeah, see!" "Now you made me forget my line!" "Oh, come on!" "Give me a break!" "I'm not gonna ask you again!" "If you hit that..." "Everyone, stop it!" "Okay, I know we're all stressed out, but are you forgetting it's Christmas Eve?" "Christmas is not about auditions and college tours." "It's about peace on Earth, good will towards men." "I guess what I'm trying to say is..." "Hand over that lasagna!" "Zuri's right." "I'm not handing over anything!" "What are we getting so upset about?" "It's Christmas." "If I don't make it to NYU, maybe it wasn't meant to be." "Yeah." "And maybe me getting that part wasn't meant to be." "You say that every time." "They don't need to know that!" "As long as we're stuck here, might as well make the best of it." "Yeah, maybe what this car needs is a little Christmas spirit." "Mr. Steel Drum Man, if you would." "(PLAYING)" "♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas" "♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas" "♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas" "♪ And a Happy New Year" "♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas" "♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas" "♪ And a Happy New Year" "Charlie!" "Charlie, you won't believe it." "A special visitor just came down the chimney." "Hello-ho-ho, Charlie." "Santa, what are you doing here?" "Well, I get so many requests from kids that sometimes I forget what they asked for." "I'm not 500 years old anymore." "Ho, ho, ho!" "Oh, Santa, stick to the script." "Why don't you come over here and sit on Santa's lap." "No." "Ho, ho!" "Why not?" "Because you're Daddy." "No!" "No, ho, ho, ho." "I'm Santa." "Then why are you wearing Daddy's shoes?" "Okay, sweetie." "You can go now." "Great!" "Now what?" "Honey, relax." "(SIGHS)" "Have some nog." "It's Christmas Eve." "She gets to open a present tonight, and we don't know what she wants!" "Honey, take it easy." "It's not worth getting all upset about." "Who are you?" "Joe, the Elf, he taught me a lot today." "Did you know that you can't spell "self" without "elf"?" "What does that mean?" "I don't know, but it really calmed me down." "Hey, PJ." "Hey, how was NYU?" "Never made it." "Long story, I'll tell you later." "So, how was your day?" "Well, I ate a bunch of hot dogs and I got back together with Skyler." "Well, after the first four, I had to take a nap, then..." "Skyler." "Oh, right." "If you're going to Denver, you're not going to Denver." "There's a big blizzard over the Rockies." "The airport is closed." "Teddy, what are we gonna do?" "Wait a minute." "Uh, I met this girl on the subway and she gave me her number." "Hello." "Hi, um, I'm Teddy, who is this?" "The butler?" "We are so staying there." "Can I open my special present now?" "Yeah, yeah..." "Do, uh, do we have a special present for Charlie?" "The big one!" "Oh." "Okay." "Okay." "Open it." "(GASPS)" "A doll house!" "I told you Santa knew!" "Honey, how did you know what to get her?" "I was going to ask you the same question." "What?" "If you didn't get it..." "No." "...and I didn't get it, then who?" "(GASPS)" "Come on." "It was me." "Oh, uh, for a minute there we were thinking it was Santa." "Everybody knows that Santa doesn't come until we're asleep." "So, you used your own money to buy Charlie a doll house?" "She's only been talking about it for a month." "And with Teddy and PJ out of the house," "I realized I needed to step up and be a..." "A good big brother." "It's a Christmas miracle." "(GASPS)" "Ew, stop." "Stop." "Stop." "Stop." "Hey, Charlie." "Well, even though we're not all together for Christmas," "I gotta say, it's kind of cool being in New York." "It's a pretty magical place." "WOMAN:" "Maybe for you." "Hey, it's the lasagna lady." "How was the party?" "I didn't go." "I traded the lasagna for a jet ride, and then she never called me back!" "Tough town." "More caviar, please." "Oh, not that much, you fool." "And draw my bath." "PJ, what are you doing?" "Oh, I'm practicing." "I've never had a butler before." "Well, this should be interesting." "Bring me my slippers." "I know I don't live here, don't you talk back to me." "Well, Merry Christmas and wish us all good luck, Charlie." "(RATTLING)" "What do you think is in here?" "but whatever it is, I'm guessing it's about to throw up." "Am I wrong, or is Zuri really pushing her luck with Santa?" "Make sure to hang that one on a sturdy hook." "Coal is very heavy." "I can't believe you invited up two complete strangers from off the street." "No good can come of that." "That's how I wound up living here." "Exactly." "Hey, it's Christmas Eve!" "Quit being such a scrooge!" "So, what did you get the kids for Christmas?" "I don't know." "I just put my name on all the gifts you got 'em." "Just for that, you are gonna help me set up a Christmas treasure hunt for them." "(SCOFFS) How am I supposed to put my name on that?" "Hey, guys!" "Hello, Jessie." "Hi, everyone." "(CHUCKLES) This is Ravi, Emma, and Luke." "Welcome to our humble home." "I guess in New York, "humble" means "palace towering over the city."" "My parents say thanks again for letting us stay here." "We feel really bad intruding on your Christmas Eve." "Aw, well, we wouldn't want you to feel bad." "Ignore our butler." "Hospitality is not really his thing." "Do you also have a chef who hates to cook?" "Yeah." "Same guy." "The kids were actually just about to open their Christmas Eve gifts." "Has everyone picked out a present?" "Well, I have now." "Luke Ross, trust fund recipient." "Is he the one you warned me about?" "Mmm-hmm." "He's the reason we can't have mistletoe anymore." "What in the silver bells happened here?" "Okay, who tried to wrap me?" "Hey, why was I sleeping on the floor?" "And who's playing the piano from the inside?" "(GRUNTS) Luke?" "(COUGHING)" "Oh!" "That explains why I dreamed about flossing." "We've all dreamed about you flossing." "JESSIE:" "Watch out, watch out, watch out, watch out." "Ow!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Yeah!" "(GRUNTS)" "What happened to our tree?" "And why am I the only thing under it?" "OMG!" "All our presents are gone!" "That's weird." "I've never heard of Santa taking away presents!" "How naughty were you two?" "Guys!" "Remember that cool chemistry set I opened up last night?" "ALL:" "No." "Nerd." "Neither do I." "But I woke up a few minutes ago, and I made some troubling discoveries." "Actually, I don't remember anything that happened last night after Teddy and PJ got here." "Yeah, the last thing I remember is Freckles here hitting on me." "And my last memory is you saying you'd go out with me." "Why can't any of us remember last night?" "Judging from my notes, it appears" "I mixed a compound which exploded into a toxic vapor, that put us to sleep and caused a retroactive memory blackout." "Sincerest apologies from myself and the Little Edison Toy Company." "Okay, um, not to add another problem to the list, but has anyone seen my brother?" "(HIGH-PITCHED SCREAMING)" "No, but do you have a sister?" "It's in there!" "It's big, it's scary, and when I woke up, it was nibbling on me!" "The lizard?" "The butler?" "(SNORTING)" "Whoa, it's a reindeer!" "I thought it was a moose!" "Nice reindeer." "Please tell me you're on a break and Santa's on his way to pick you up!" "Yes, Dad, we're having a great Christmas." "They even have a reindeer." "Right, uh, yeah, of course, a plastic one." "A real one would be bizarre and frightening." "Good boy, Prancer." "More like Biter." "Or Kicker." "We looked everywhere, but we could not find any presents." "Not even socks." "(SOBBING)" "At this point, I'd be happy with an acrylic sweater." "Santa, if you're listening, I didn't mean that!" "Okay, we need to figure this out before your parents get home." "We'll split into two teams." "Boys, you sift through the wreckage for anything that might help us remember what happened last night." "And, as we sift, we will also dust and put away!" "I seriously need to change teams." "PJ, you're in charge." "Really?" "Cool!" "Ravi, you're in charge." "Ugh!" "I can't believe I have to clean up your stupid chemistry set on Christmas." "Stop crying over spilled magnesium citrate, and help us find some clues about what happened last night!" "Hey, guys, I think I found our first clue!" "Because this paper says, "Your first clue."" "Ooh!" "Dibs on reading it!" ""Welcome to your Christmas treasure hunt."" "What a whimsical holiday treat." ""Sure, it is fun to just get a present," ""but hunting for it is much more pleasant."" "Someone hid our presents?" "What kind of sicko would do that?" "so we've got about five minutes to check last night's security footage." "He had Taco Queen for breakfast." "We've got at least 20." "We need to figure out what happened after you and PJ got here last night." "Yeah, and who let a reindeer up unannounced." "If you knew our door staff, you wouldn't be surprised by that." "Just keep looking for the monster who stole our presents!" "Okay, no reindeer or monsters yet." "(CHUCKLES) That's a giant elf." "That's no elf, that's our butler!" "It was Bertram?" "I always knew he was part Grinch!" "He's stealing presents from children?" "It does not get any lower than that." "Whoa, it looks like he didn't act alone." "TEDDY:" "Jessie?" "(UNEASY CHUCKLE)" "Okay, maybe not the lowest." "It's not like anybody died." "We haven't seen the rest of the tape." "It was you?" "You stole our presents?" "(STUTTERING) I don't know why I would..." "Oh!" "Now I remember!" "I wanted to give you guys a Christmas treasure hunt, so I hid all your presents." "Sounds fun, right?" "Not as fun as finding them under the tree!" "And opening them in our jammies, as Santa intended!" "Okay, guys, relax." "We'll just go get the presents." "Great, where are they?" "I have no idea." "Oh, someone's about to get Jack Frosted up!" "(GRUNTING)" "Why didn't you just hide them in the apartment?" "Yeah, that would have been smarter." "Okay, who invited her?" "(GRUNTING) Let me at her!" "Zuri, aren't you the same girl who was just on the subway yesterday preaching peace on Earth?" "All I know is, I don't have my presents, so I need something to rip open!" "(GRUNTING) Okay, guys, calm down!" "Let's just empty our pockets and purses and see if anything jogs my memory." "Nope." "All I have is my emergency change of jewelry." "All I've got is my walking around cash." "Well, um, I've got nothing, but dibs on checking your couch cushions!" "Okay, ball of lint, certificate for a full-body eucalyptus wrap, and a receipt for a locker rental in Central Park." "I gave you that certificate months ago!" "You're a thief and ungrateful!" "Well, excuse me for not wanting to spend five hours just to smell like a koala snack!" "Wait, this receipt is dated December 24th." "For locker number 339 at the skating rink." "Maybe I put the presents in there!" "Then what are we doing here?" "Let's go!" "Um, guys, uh, we're no t taking the reindeer with us, right?" "(CHUCKLES) Of course not, that would be silly." "Sean, would you mind watching our dog?" "Bye, Spot." "(SOFTLY) I think he bought it." "Oh, there is the 12th clue!" "All right." ""Now you have come to the glorious stage," ""where the answer is found in the reptile's cage."" "Oh, reptile!" "This one's easy." "Wait!" "Mrs. Kipling does not like strangers in her... (ROARING) (SCREAMING) ...cage." "(PANTING)" "I got..." "I got it!" "Whew!" "Wow, there's a lot of unexpected wildlife in this apartment." "Okay, final clue." ""Don't rush off, stop and think." ""Your presents are in a box by the rink."" "It must mean the ice skating rink in Central Park." "Yes!" "Ravi, you're brilliant!" "Let's go!" "Oh!" "Uh, on the way, can we stop and pick up a tourniquet and a pint of O-negative?" "Here it is!" "Locker 339!" "Okay, I have the combination." ""Balance due 25 cents?" Does anyone have a quarter?" "Here, I have one." "Oh." "Okay... (GRUNTS) ALL: (GASPING) Bertram!" "What are you doing in there?" "Trying to keep my elbow out of my gall bladder!" "Jessie, last night, you were supposed to come right back for me!" "Why didn't you?" "Uh, I have no idea!" "None of us have any memory of last night." "(SCOFFS) Must be nice!" "I spent the entire night wedged inside this stinky locker!" "I'll never be able to go to the gym again." "Again?" "Don't you even start!" "Wait, why are you trapped in there?" "Aw, did Santa give you a time-out?" "(GIGGLING)" "Jessie, this is all your fault." "The kids were asleep when we left, so I don't understand why we had to wear these stupid costumes." "I just wanted to see if you'd actually put it on." "(LAUGHING) Now I have next year's Christmas card!" "Come on, let's go home." "Uh-oh, it's Zuri!" "What is she doing not in bed?" "Why don't you ask her nanny?" "Oh, right." "(SCOFFS)" "Just hide!" "I don't want my Christmas surprise to get spoiled." "Where?" "In there!" "There!" "There, there!" "Go." "Go, go, go!" "(GRUNTING)" "(GRUNTING) I can't!" "What do you think is back here, Narnia?" "I know Jessie and Bertram are here somewhere." "I saw them sneak out with all the presents!" "Okay, we've been wandering around so long," "I am starting to recognize all the rats." "Can we please go back home?" "Hey, I don't know how you roll in that Podunk hill town, but here in New York, we get what's ours." "Okay, Denver is not a Podunk hill town." "We have a pro football team, and our own omelet!" "Call me when you have two football teams, and Jay-Z." "All right, Bertram, they're all gone, you can come out now." "Uh-oh." "BERTRAM:" "What does "uh-oh" mean?" "It locked automatically, and I need a quarter to get you out!" "Go ahead, splurge." "I'll pay you back." "I don't have a quarter!" "Okay, I'll run home to get one, and be right back." "Just try to relax, and breathe through this." "BERTRAM:" "Oh, thanks." "Oh, wait, where did you get this straw?" "From the trash." "(SPUTTERS)" "(SOBBING)" "Then you never came back!" "I was stuck in here with a moldy salami sandwich!" "Don't judge me!" "You didn't live through what I did!" "(PANTING) Okay, the presents are in one of these lockers!" "We know, Sherlock." "Oh, hello, Bertram." "Merry Christmas." "Aw, you must have followed my Christmas treasure hunt!" "Indeed we did, and what a delightful romp it was!" "Delightful?" "I was almost eaten by a dragon!" "And the presents aren't even for me!" "My dad always hid my Christmas presents." "He said, "You never get anything in life without working for it."" "Except presents!" "That's the whole point!" "You know, I actually think a Christmas treasure hunt is very inventive." "You're from Colorado." "You think electricity is inventive." "Zuri!" "You loved Colorado when we went skiing there last year." "Oh, that was Colorado?" "Well, in my defense, it's very easy to fall asleep on a private jet." "You're a very annoying little girl." "Bertram, which locker are the presents in?" "The combination is in my pocket, if you'll..." "It's in his pocket!" "...just help me out of here." "BERTRAM:" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Got it!" "Okay, come on, come on." "(GROANS)" "Oh." "Wha..." "We need a quarter." "Sorry, I'm all out." "Well, why don't you break one of your hundreds?" "if you'll just let me out of here!" "He has a quarter!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Kids, be careful!" "I think this might qualify as a mugging." "(GRUNTS) Found it!" "(GASPS)" "(GRUNTS)" "(ALL GASPING)" "(ALL CHEERING) ZURI:" "Jackpot!" "Yeah!" "I knew you'd have fun on my treasure hunt!" "Well, all's well that ends well." "Get me out of here!" "You know, now that Bertram explained everything, it's all starting to come back to me." "Yeah, me, too." "But I still feel like we're forgetting of something." "(SNORTING) JESSIE:" "And there it is." "Guys, I just found the weirdest thing!" "(GASPING) Second weirdest." "Suddenly, Zuri and Teddy being wanted for reindeer-napping makes perfect sense." "What, so you two stole the reindeer?" "Huh, there's a sentence I never thought I'd say." "I don't remember stealing a reindeer!" "But it sounds like something someone from Denver would do." "Zuri, that's enough!" "Maybe a little innocent reindeer-tipping, now and then, but..." "It says Prancer was supposed to be a part of the charity concert in the park today." "You mean, that deer can sing?" "Oh, you two are going away for life!" "Jessie, why do we have to confess?" "Why can't we just release Prancer and run." "Yeah, for once, I agree with her." "It's a Christmas miracle." "Yeah." "Aw, look at that sad little pen." "Oh, now I remember why we took him!" "Yeah, yeah, me, too!" "After we couldn't find you and Bertram last night, we saw Prancer locked up in that prison, so I decided to take him home." "And you went along with that?" "Either face an angry, snorting beast, or the reindeer." "(SNORTING)" "Prancer!" "Thank goodness!" "Where was he?" "We found him in our building." "In the Statue of Liberty." "Wait a minute." "You two stole Prancer!" "I'm calling the cops!" "Okay, okay!" "We did it." "But you wouldn't send three sweet, young girls to jail, would you?" "Uh, not three!" "I'm innocent!" "And they're really sorry." "Sorry won't raise money for the kids." "Or put toys in their donation bins." "But you've got Prancer back now, and you're still having the charity concert, right?" "Wrong!" "After Prancer went missing, our singer, Joey Fatone, helped search for him." "He was out there all night, calling Prancer's name, and by this morning, he lost his voice." "And his watch." "He was mugged." "Wow, way to bring down the room." "She could still call the cops." "Dial it back." "So now the charity event has their reindeer back, but they don't have a singer." "Zuri, I am so disappointed in you." "I can't believe you stole a reindeer without me!" "That was on my bucket list!" "As long as I'm not on it." "I can't believe we came so close to meeting the Joey Fatone." "Guys, the point is, this event was going to help a lot of kids have a happy Christmas, and now that's not going to happen." "And it's all our fault!" "I feel terrible." "We were so upset when we could not find our presents." "Imagine how these kids will feel when they do not get any." "There's got to be something we can do." "Wait!" "I just got the greatest idea!" "You can sing at the charity concert, which will attract a huge crowd of toy-givers, thereby saving the day?" "we do an emergency bake sale, but I like your idea way better!" "Jessie, thank you so much for offering to sing for the charity." "You can sing, right?" "Like a bird." "And she looks cuter than a partridge in a pear tree!" "(CHUCKLES) Thanks." "I just wish we had more than three peeps a watching'." "Yeah, it's not the turnout we expected, but at least we'll get a few toys." "More than a few!" "Look." "(GASPING)" "Look at all the presents!" "Jessie, we thought about what you said, and we realized we've only been thinking about ourselves this Christmas." "So we want to donate all of our presents to the toy drive." "You do?" "That is so sweet of you." "I am so proud of you guys!" "Well, we already have so much." "And, you know what?" "Not being selfish feels really good." "Aw, Luke." "(CHUCKLES) Wow, look what was tucked in with these socks!" "An Amazon river cruise and zip-line adventure!" "(LAUGHING) (SOBBING)" "Still proud." "Merry Christmas, everybody!" "Please welcome the very talented, hopefully," "Jessie Prescott." "(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)" "Even if she stinks, please donate more toys!" "Thank you." "(MUSIC PLAYING)" "♪ Gotta have a little mistletoe" "♪ Mix it with a little jingle bells" "♪ Need to have a bit of winter snow" "♪ Yeah" "♪ Come on over, celebrate with me" "♪ Hang a seraph on a Christmas tree" "♪ Tie it all up with a perfect bow" "♪ You and I" "♪ We'll be dreaming tonight" "♪ By the fire" "♪ I can't wait 'cause it's my" "♪ Favorite time of year" "♪ Yeah, it's almost here" "♪ Can you see it now?" "♪ It's coming and coming and coming around" "♪ My favorite time of year" "♪ Feel it in the air" "♪ Can you feel it now?" "♪ It's coming and coming and coming around ♪" "(CHEERING)" "Thanks." "Okay, the cab is on its way." "Mmm, bye-bye." "Just so you know, it is customary to tip the help." "When did he help us?" "Can you break a quarter?" "(SIGHS)" "Jessie, thanks again, for giving us a Christmas we'll never forget." "(CHUCKLES) And still don't completely remember." "I just wish I knew what experiment I was attempting last night that rendered us unconscious and erased our short-term memory." "Guys, check this out." "I think I just found something that will explain everything!" "Charlie, if you find this and you wonder what happened to me, your sister got run over by a reindeer!" "Prancer, you are about to go on the naughty list!" "(GRUNTS) Whoa!" "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" "(ZURI SCREAMING)" "(WHINNYING)" "Now I know why Santa leaves them on the roof." "Ravi!" "Where's that knock-out serum?" "We need to tranquilize this reindeer stat!" "Luke, add the chartreuse chemical!" "I don't know what chartreuse is!" "Uh, here!" "Let's use this!" "No!" "That is turquoise, you idiot!" "(COUGHS) You couldn't just have red, blue, green, and yellow?" "Uh-oh!" "You have turned the knock-out serum into a vapor, which could knock us out!" "(COUGHING)" "Hide!" "Knock-out vapor on the loose!" "Is that a fancy way of saying you cut the cheese?" "Whoa, what did you eat?" "Can't..." "Sleep." "Must get Bertram out of locker." "(REINDEER SNORTING)" "Wish us good luck, Charlie." "(CHUCKLES)" "Okay, that does explain everything." "Except, who the heck's Charlie?" "JESSIE: ♪ Gotta have a little mistletoe" "♪ Mix it with a little jingle bells" "♪ Need to have a bit of winter snow" "♪ 'Cause it's my" "♪ Favorite time of year" "♪ Yeah, it's almost here" "♪ Can you see it now?" "♪ It's coming and coming and coming around ♪"