"(Carrie) It's always the same dream." "(Modern English's "I Melt With You" playing)" "I'm in the city..." "And I belong." "Manhattan is mine." "(Horn blares, tires screech) Hey, watch it!" "(Alarm beeping) But then I always wake up the same old Carrie Bradshaw... (Beeping stops) In Castlebury, Connecticut." "(Liquid sloshes)" "♪ Using all my breath" "They say to key to being a writer is figuring out who you are, finding your voice." "Aah!" "Well, that seemed to be the only thing" "I had found that day." "Where is it?" "Please, please." "Dorrit!" "Where's the purse?" "What purse?" "Give me a break, Dorrit." "You know exactly which purse I'm talking about." "Mom's purse." "♪ I'll stop the world and melt with you ♪" "You can't go through my stuff." "Don't." "You have pot?" "Your friends smoke pot." "You're 14." "So?" "So if dad finds out, he's going to kill you." "So you better not tell him." "Well, it'd serve you right if I did." "You're such a tattletale." "I'm sorry I have a life, and you don't." "Oh, is that way you're always spying on me, listening to my phone conversations?" "Do not!" "Do too!" "(Talking Heads' "Burning Down The House" playing)" "(Both arguing indistinctly) ♪ Watch out" "The year?" "1984." "Romance novels were all the rage." "We had an actor for president, and most people could say they were better off now than they were four years ago..." "Except us." "Four years ago, we had our mom, and three months ago, we lost her to cancer." "Things were definitely not better." "Give me back my purse, Dorrit!" "Aah!" "Ow!" "God, what the hell is going on in here?" "!" "She bit me!" "She's going through my stuff!" "We do not have time for this." "You both have to be in school in half an hour, all right?" "Carrie, go on and get dressed." "I know you took it." "Go." "You can't be late on your first day." "And, Dorrit..." "That is... way too much eye makeup." "♪ Time for jumping overboard" "Carrie..." "You're the older one." "You can't take the bait." "I have teeth marks on my arm." "I know that Dorrit can be difficult." "But... your mom would want you two to get along." "Yeah." "Yeah, I know." "All right?" "So whatever you two were fighting about, it's not worth it." "She stole mom's purse." "You don't know that." "I can't go to school without the purse, dad." "You're going to school." "I don't have anything to wear." "Come on." "You've got a whole floor full of clothing." "No." "Mom used to take me shopping for an outfit." "It was--was a thing we did, you know?" "Back-to-school clothes?" "(Sighs) Okay." "Did you want me to take you?" "No." "No, that was, um..." "Supposed to be mom." "I see." "I just..." "I need the purse." "I-I need a piece of her." "I have an idea." "My mother left us on Memorial Day, and that's what this closet felt like-- a memorial, a still life of our life without her, as if leaving it untouched might somehow bring her back." "We had been forbidden to enter..." "Until now." "Uh, not that dress." "She wore it on her last birthday." "You could spill something on it or rip it, you know?" "Uh..." "Really?" "Yeah." "Just... try not to let 'em get broken in your backpack." "I'll be super careful, I promise." "(New Order's "Blue Monday" playing)" "The first day of school was something" "I usually found exciting, but so much had changed for me." "(Indistinct conversations)" "Hi!" "How was your summer?" "(Indistinct conversations continue)" "As I watched everyone passing around the news of the day like mono after a homecoming dance," "I realized that I was the virus no one wanted to get near-- the freak who had lost her mom... (Door squeaks)" "Except for Donna Ladonna and her minions, the Jens." "Donna was just twisted enough to think a connection to tragedy would make her that much more compelling, and she wouldn't be wrong." "Carrie, you poor girl." "Are you doing okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine." "Okay, well, if you need anything" "I mean, a shoulder to cry on, fashion tips, maybe even a wand of mascara, I'm here for you." "I'll keep that in mind." "Thanks." "You're such a good person." "(Voice breaks) Thanks." "And then there were my people-- my best friends who loved me no matter what." "Bradshaw." "Mouse." "(Laughs) Oh!" "(Both laugh)" "I heart you, you know?" "I know." "I need it." "Boob to boob, baby." "Hi, Maggie." "Hey." "Walt, nice sweater." "Is that the one from..." "The one Rob Lowe was wearing in "Interview"?" "Nice." "How you holding up?" "Mm." "I'd be a lot better if I didn't feel like everyone was staring at me." "Oh, please." "No one is even looking at you." "Believe it or not," "I think Mags actually meant that as a compliment." "Mm-hmm." "There is way bigger news today." "I have to agree." "New kid." "New guy." "A junior like us." "Ah, does new kid have a name?" "Even his name is cool." "Sebastian Kydd." "♪ Told me who you are" "♪ tell me how do I feel" "There he was--the new kid," "Sebastian Kydd." "♪ Those who came before me" "He's been kicked out of three boarding schools" "Deerfield, Exeter, and I forget where else." "♪ From the past" "His parents finally had to give up and bring him home." "♪ They will turn away no more" "They're totally rich." "He drives a Porsche." "Mags, you do realize I'm standing right here, and I'm your boyfriend?" "Hey, Bradshaw." "Hey." "Heard about your mom." "Real bummer." "Thanks." "(School bell rings)" "I'll see you around." "I can't get kicked out of another school this early in the year." "(Indistinct conversations)" "So you have some explaining to do." "(All giggle)" "Why did you hide this from us?" "We need to know everything." "I'm not hiding anything, I swear." "Last summer, he hung out at the swim club." "Why don't I swim?" "Because your hair would get wet and your makeup would run." "Hey, where's Walt?" "I told him I wanted it to be just us girls." "Were you two fighting again?" "Come on." "You guys are never gonna break up." "You're forever." "That's right, and the mouse and I would be a couple forever, too." "Why do you have that look on your face?" "Mouse, did you meet someone?" "Are you breaking up with me?" "At the Page Program in D.C." "I've been dying to tell you guys." "So start talking." "Seth." "Seth Glassman." "He's from Washington, started Princeton." "He's a freshman." "(Gasps)" "I should date an older guy." "He's amazing." "So smart." "I mean, we'd stay up in the dorm rooms and we'd just talk about everything." "(Gasps) And I'd wake up in his arms and just think..." "That you got laid." "Just because all you think about is losing your virginity doesn't mean the mouse does." "Wait." "You lost your virginity to Seth?" "It was like putting a hot dog in a keyhole." "(Laughs) Ow!" "It hurt so bad." "And I just kept thinking, like, when is this going to end?" "And luckily it did, because it was over in two seconds." "It wasn't like that for me at all." "Wait." "You and Walt had sex?" "Uh, I wasn't supposed to say anything." "Walt won't be mad." "No, he will." "Just... swear you won't say anything." "I won't." "I swear." "So..." "I'm the last virgin?" "It's no big deal, Carrie." "I mean, sex isn't everything." "So... you don't feel like it changed you?" "(Chuckles) It's weird." "Like, I feel more confident, like I know stuff, but scared 'cause there's something to lose." "Are you in love with him?" "(Giggles)" "We should go on a double date." "Is he coming up to visit?" "Yeah, I mean..." "While I had spent my summer grieving and letting go of my childhood, my friends were falling in love and entering adulthood." "Hey, we should go on a triple date." "You should ask Sebastian out." "Ask him to the new beginnings dance." "Maybe he'll hot dog your keyhole." "Delightful." "(Laughs) That's just how I'll ask him." "Well, if you do, then he'll definitely say "Yes."" "(Laughs)" "Virgin-- a sexually inexperienced woman, a blank slate unchanged by any past intimate connection or experience." "The uninitiated." "Yep, that pretty much described me." "You stole my hiding place." "You hang out here a lot?" "Yeah." "Yeah, it's a pretty good escape." "You had a lot to get away from." "If only I could escape my brain." "Do you ever-- do you ever just sit there, and--and the words and thoughts are, like, happening so fast in your mind that you just-- you can't even understand them?" "Not really." "(Chuckles) Oh." "I wish I hadn't just said that, then." "I think it's cool you have so much going on in your head." "You've been through stuff." "Not many people here can say that." "Can you?" "Who, me?" "Poor little rich kid whose mom left with the tennis instructor?" "I'm just a cliche." "Your mom left?" "I'm sorry." "I didn't know" "Oh, don't worry." "Our maid Luisa still gets dinner on the table." "Nothing's really changed." "Nobody's better off without a mom." "Uh..." "I'm sorry, Carrie." "It was hard to believe it was only last year we had spent the summer hanging out." "I can't believe you don't know Atari "Adventure"." "No way. "Space Invaders." That's my game." "I mean, come on." "You get to kill aliens." "Oh, you're crazy." "No, "Adventure" is so cool." "You have to get this magic chalice to a gold castle, and then there's these dragons that are trying to kill you." "So you're the princess who slays their own dragons?" "Well, somebody has to." "Might as well be me, right?" "I'd slay a dragon for you." "Suddenly everything was different." "I knew he was gonna kiss me, so I did what any scared 15-year-old girl would do." "Ohh!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "Oh, now you're in for it." "No!" "Stop." "Stop." "Aah!" "(Laughs)" "It was a moment I wanted to last forever." "(Exhales) My first kiss." "My, uh, parents are putting in a pool at our house." "It's almost done." "Oh. (Chuckles) Cool." "Once he had his own pool," "I knew I would never see him again." "(School bell rings)" "And I was right..." "Until today." "Do you still swim?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I really love it." "I never swim." "Really?" "That's kind of a waste since you have a pool in your backyard." "Hey, would you, um-- I should..." "You." "Me?" "Yeah." "Me." "Okay." "Um..." "Would you, uh..." "Would--would you..." "Check it out." "Would you wanna go to... (Exhales) Would you want..." "Why was my father here?" "The last time I had seen him in these halls," "I lost the most important person in my life." "(Mr. Bradshaw's voice) You need to come home." "Your mom's unconscious." "(Footsteps thudding)" "It won't be too much longer." "Carrie?" "Are you okay?" "Carrie?" "(Footsteps thudding)" "(Voice echoing) Carrie?" "Are you okay?" "Carrie?" "Carrie?" "(Students murmuring)" "(Boy) Whoa!" "Give her some air." "(Boy) Is she all right?" "Kiddo?" "Kiddo, can you hear me?" "Carrie?" "!" "(Crowd murmuring)" "(School bell rings) (Both) Bye!" "(Indistinct conversations)" "Thanks for keeping an eye on her." "Of course, Mr. Bradshaw." "I better head back in." "Oh." "I'll call you later." "Okay." "Bye." "I'm taking you home." "Dad, I'm fine." "You fainted." "I just got scared when I saw you." "You know, the last time you were here..." "Yeah." "Yeah, I'm sorry." "I should've" "I should've told you I was coming in to meet with your guidance counselor." "Yeah, you should have, and I don't need some shrink talking about how screwed up I am." "That's not what we were talking about." "Then what?" "You've been through a lot, and we thought maybe it might be a good idea if you had a change of pace, a change of scenery." "You're shipping me off to a loony bin." "Some would call it that..." "Or call me crazy for agreeing to this, but what about an internship?" "One day a week, for school credit, of course." "Like, work in an office?" "Where?" "My friend's law firm in Manhattan." "Manhattan?" "No way!" "Aah!" "No way!" "(Laughs)" "What would I be doing?" "Do--do I need to type?" "Because I'm not very good at that." "I just--I can't believe it." "I-I can't believe it." "Okay, I guess--I guess you really are feeling okay." "Now, look, I know this all sounds really cool, right?" "Yeah." "But it's also a lot of responsibility." "New York is an intense place, and you're gonna have to prove to me that you can handle it." "I will." "I promise." "I'll be a total professional." "(Sighs) Will I need a briefcase?" "Dorrit." "I start my job tomorrow." "Can I have the purse back?" "I know you have it." "You mean your lame internship?" "Like I care." "Please, can I have mom's purse back?" "(Rock music playing over headphones)" "Maybe you lost it." "You won't mind if I look around." "Get away from my stuff." "(Clatter)" "(Snap)" "You're such a klepto." "It's covered in nail polish." "Oh--oh, my God." "It's ruined." "Why did you do that?" "I didn't mean to." "The bottle must have broke." "You wanted to destroy it." "No." "I wanted something of mom, and you got everything." "No, I, don't." "You got the purse." "Your 16th birthday." "The start of high school." "I got nothing." "I never thought of myself as the lucky one, but I had precious extra years with our mom that Dora would never have." "(Sighs) You're okay, Dorrit." "You're okay." "Mom loved you." "So much." "I don't need your pity." "I'm just trying to-- You think because you always acted like such a goody-goody around mom that you can boss me around?" "Well, screw you." "You're pissed at me?" "I should be angry at you." "You ruined mom's purse." "You know what?" "I'm glad I did." "Now you can't have it, either." "I realized I had a choice." "I could blame Dorrit, or I could let go of my anger and still find a way to hold on to my mother and to the purse." "(The Bird  The Bee's "Material Girl" playing)" "♪ Living in a material world ♪ material" "♪ living in a material world" "♪ 'cause everybody's living in a material world ♪" "♪ and I am a material girl" "♪ you know that we are living in a material world ♪" "♪ and I am a material girl" "♪ a material, a material" "♪ a material girl" "♪ living in a material world ♪ material" "♪ living in a material world" "(Mr. Bradshaw) Carrie, we leave for the city in five minutes!" "You ready?" "♪ Material" "You bet I was." "(The Three O'Clock's "Jet Fighter" playing)" "Manhattan was a lot like my purse-- damaged, and it had seen better days." "But I wouldn't have traded that purse for this moment for anything." "(Horn blares)" "(Indistinct conversations)" "Is this it?" "Yep." "It's huge." "(Brakes squeal)" "I can pick you up after work." "No." "I'll take the 6:00 train like we talked about." "You said the woman I'm working for can take me there, so I'm fine." "All right, but if you change your mind," "I can be here in an hour." "And don't forget." "I'm going straight from the train to the dance and home by curfew." "Good." "How do I look?" "Like a young woman." "How did that happen?" "You sure you don't want me to walk you in?" "Dad, young woman, remember?" "I got this." "It's okay." "You can go." "I love you, kiddo." "Dad." "Okay." "(Kim Carnes' "Bette Davis Eyes" playing)" "(Engine starts)" "♪ Her hair is hollow gold I had arrived to the place where so many before me had come to live out their dreams." "I wasn't sure where the city would take me, but I couldn't wait to find out." "It was the beginning of my Manhattan love story." "♪ Bette Davis eyes" "Oh!" "Ow." "Yo, watch it." "Ow." "Blue files are cases that were litigated." "Green are out of court settlements." "They must be filed separately, but alphabetically." "I can do that." "Is this a big case?" "They're files from old closed cases." "They'll be taken to cold storage." "This..." "(Sets down files)" "Is where you'll be working." "Oh." "Oh." "And you get a half-hour for lunch." "And may I suggest you go get yourself a pair of stockings" " during that time?" " Of course." "I-I fell, and they ripped, and where would I" "Try Century 21." "Oh." "And one more thing." "Yes?" "No personal phone calls." "(Depeche Mode's "Just Can't Get Enough" plays) (Horn honks)" "♪ When I'm with you, baby, I go out of my head ♪" "♪ and I just can't get enough" "♪ and I just can't get enough" "In my years of playing dress-up as a child," "I understood that what you wore could help define you." "But in this store, I realized you might even be able to change who you are." "♪ As we fall in love" "♪ and I just can't seem to get enough of ♪" "Maybe you could walk in here one person, a kid from Connecticut, and walk out..." "Your bag!" "Aah!" "(Hangers clatter)" "(Gasps)" "Oh!" "(Laughs) What the hell?" "Why'd you do that?" "Um, aren't you trying to steal my purse?" "No." "Though I do wanna get my hands on it, but not to steal." "To shoot it." "I don't understand." "For a photo shoot I'm doing for "Interview" magazine." "You work at "Interview" magazine?" "Larissa Loughlin, style editor." "Carrie Bradshaw." "Mortified." "(Chuckles)" "I'm doing this fashion shoot that's a cross between "A Midsummer Night's Dream"" "and "Scarface," and that purse would be perfect." "My purse?" "In "Interview"?" "That would be so cool." "You like the magazine?" "Oh." "That--that doesn't even begin to describe it." "And the one with Rob Lowe on the cover" "Oh!" "He's so hot." "I get it." "You're obsessed." "Just come in." "So..." "Do you work around here?" "Um, at long and Whitney?" "The law firm?" "Oh, I slept with a guy from there once." "Kevin... something or other." "He was sexy..." "In a suit-tie kind of way." "You're not shagging your boss or anything, are you?" "No." "Smart girl." "Don't crap where you eat, Carrie." "Doesn't sound very appetizing." "(Laughs) You are funny." "I can't believe you made that purse." "How did you come up with the idea?" "Oh." "Necessity-- the mother of invention." "You're quoting Plato?" "Oh, I love you." "(Chuckles)" "You look amazing." "You wanna help me with something?" "(Alarm blaring) Miss?" "Miss?" "Yes." "May I look in your bag, please?" "Uh, sure." "There's my receipt." "One pair of nude panty hose." "Sorry." "Must have been a false alarm." "Thank you." "(Horn honks)" "(Laughs)" "Oh, that whole innocent, young thing you have going..." "You could come in handy, miss Carrie Bradshaw." "I'm gonna have to keep you around." "I collect people, you know." "What does that even mean?" "Some people collect art, or like my mother, porcelain frogs." "(Chuckles)" "I collect people." "I guess we're less creepy." "(Chuckles)" "Do you need money or something?" "No." "Why?" "Because you stole." "When I was a teenager," "I used to steal lipstick from marks and sparks." "As an adult, I've just upped the ante." "I like the thrill." "I've never stolen anything before." "You have to come out with me tonight." "We're starting at Indochine." "Oh, let me guess." "You've never been there." "I couldn't decide whether to tell her the truth or create a life for myself-- a life I wanted." "Uh, there's this guy at my office who I've been messing around with, and so I-- He always hangs out there." "So screw him." "He doesn't own Indochine." "We do." "Meet me there at 7:00." "Do not put on those panty hose." "You'll look like an old maid." "Ciao!" "Ciao." "(Woman) Oh, yeah!" "You!" "(Gasps)" "She gave me her card and everything." "Okay, stop for one second and just take a breath, because when I tell you this, you might start hyperventilating." "Is it good or bad?" "Sebastian called here." "For you?" "For your number!" "Shut up." "Shut up, shut up." "W" "(laughs) Apparently, like, his mom knows my mom or something like that." "Anyway, he had my number, and he called for yours." "Well, what did he say?" "He asked if you were gonna be back tonight." "I think he wants to ask you to the dance." "Aah!" "Aah!" "I have to call my house." "I hope he got the machine." "I swear, if Dorrit answers the phone and says something weird, I'm going to kill her." "Yeah, okay." "Call home." "Okay." "Bye. (Laughs)" "(Button clicks)" "(Keypad beeps)" "(Telephone rings)" "(Ring)" "Dorrit, will you answer that, please?" "(Ring)" "(Busy signal)" "This came for you." "For me?" "Well, this must be a mistake." "So you bought a dress but not stockings." "It's a gift from my dad." "I have a school dance tonight." "You're wearing that to a school dance?" "I would never." "It looks like something that singer would wear." "You know the one." "The one who--who takes Jesus' name in vain." "Madonna?" "Yes." "Her." "So disrespectful." "Anyway, I have to pick up my son from soccer practice." "My idiot ex-husband just told me." "Are you gonna be okay getting yourself to the train?" "Just promise me you'll take a cab to the station." "Okay." "No subway." "Yeah, I promise." "All right." "Have fun." "(Cobra Verde's "Temptation" playing)" "♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh" "♪ ooh, ooh, ooh" "(zip)" "♪ Ooh, ooh" "♪ ooh, ooh" "♪ heaven, a gateway" "♪ a hope" "♪ ooh, ooh" "♪ up, down, turn around" "♪ please don't let me hit the ground ♪" "♪ tonight I think I'll walk alone ♪" "I wondered where this golden chariot would take me-- to the New Beginnings Dance and Sebastian?" "Or to Larissa and a new world?" "Where to?" "♪ Oh, you've got green eyes" "♪ oh, you've got blue eyes" "It was a good question." "♪ Oh, it's the last time" "(Laid Back's "White Horse" playing)" "♪ If you wanna ride" "(sirens blaring)" "I had kept my promise to take a cab, but my bitchy boss was right." "This dress didn't belong at a dance." "It belonged here, in the city, and so did I." "(Indistinct conversations)" "There you are." "(Gasps) And in the dress." "Oh, it looks fabu on you." "Thanks." "Will I be arrested in it?" "Don't worry." "I didn't steal it from a store." "Just our style rack." "Carrie, this is everybody." "Everybody, this is Carrie." "Hi." "Hello." "Hi." "That's Dominick." "He's an artist who works with found objects and wax." "That's Cathy." "She's a fashion designer." "That's..." "They were artists, musicians, writers, distinctly themselves in a city that celebrated them." "(Kenny Loggins' "Footloose" playing)" "It was such a stark contrast to the world I came from, where conformity is demanded, and the Donnas of the world rule." "(Laughs) Mags, you are so tipsy." "I think we should get you home." "Being the police chief's daughter doesn't mean you won't get kicked out of school." "Party pooper." "I'm just trying to have some fun." "Hey." "Hey, new kid, new kid." "♪ I've got this feeling" "We'll be right back." "(Scoffs)" "Good luck with that." "You're here right on time." "For what?" "For me, silly." "♪ I'll hit the ceiling" "♪ or else I'll tear up this town ♪" "(Man) So what school did you go to?" "Uh, Castlebury High." "No." "I meant college." "Mm." "You don't need to go to college these days." "This city is all about the young." "I mean, you're dead here by the time you're 25, or living in the suburbs, which is worse than dead. (Laughter)" "Oh, she should write something for us." "Oh, I-I'm not really a writer." "My mom used to write, though, in a journal." "Are you for real?" "Still has her innocence." "Still talks about her mom and her sister." "What's her name again?" "Dorrit." "She's in a rebellious phase." "(Snickers) Aren't we all?" "(Laughter)" "I-I should make a quick phone call." "I'll be right back." "(Telephone ringing) (Whispers) Come on." "Come on, dad." "Pick up." "Please." "Come on, come on, come on." "(Ring)" "While I was getting no answer from my dad, the mouse was getting an answer she didn't like." "Oh, hi." "Is Seth there?" "Room 215." "He's still not there?" "Okay." "Uh, thanks." "I'll try again later." "Thanks." "(Sighs)" "(Shannon's "Let The Music Play" playing)" "(Indistinct conversations, laughter)" "(Laughter)" "♪ We started dancing oh." "♪ And love put us into a groove ♪" "(Giggles) I'm--I'm sorry." "I-I-I didn't know." "Know we were gay?" "Yeah." "Can I tell you a secret?" "I-I've never met anyone gay before." "Of course you have." "No." "No one I know is gay." "Oh, honey, someone you know is very gay, but they're just hiding it." "Or don't know yet." "Look for the hot guy who loves fashion." "And hates sports." "Oh, my God." "It's almost midnight." "Kiss me again." "It's almost midnight?" "♪ He won't get away" "I'm sorry." "I'm leaving." "Oh, it's early." "The night's just beginning." "No, I-I, um, have a thing at my dad's in the morning." "I gotta go." "Okay." "Mmm, mwah!" "♪ The groove he can't ignore" "♪ he won't leave you anymore" "Maybe it was the champagne or the dancing or that I was out of breath, racing for the last train." "Or maybe it was the realization that" "I might have just lost my innocence, my virginity, and not to the guy I had hoped, but to a different man" "Manhattan." "And maybe it wouldn't respect me in the morning or even remember me, but..." "I knew after tonight" "I would never be the same." "Thanks for picking me up, Walt." "I would never let a lady walk home alone." "(Giggles)" "Now I want details." "Every last one." "Well, I met a girl who works at "Interview" magazine, and she took me to this restaurant, Indochine, and people were drinking champagne from the bottle, and... (Laughs) I was drinking champagne from the bottle," "and..." "Wow." "I never saw anyone pay for anything." "We drank a six-pack of peach wine coolers." "Oh." "So the dance wasn't fun?" "The usual." "Maggie got wasted, and Donna hooked her claws into the new kid." "Sebastian?" "Hmm." "Oh." "(Sighs)" "Speak of the devils." "Oh." "Uh... careful." "Huh?" "(Man) ♪ I used to give up everything ♪" "♪ there were no clouds up in the sky ♪" "Bradshaw?" "Yours truly." "I didn't see you at the dance." "I wasn't there." "Oh." "You two need a ride?" "Looks a little crowded in there." "Look, this isn't what you think." "Uh, it's exactly what I think." "(Laughs) Sebastian, come on." "We have to go." "You should go." "I'll see you around." "That's it?" "For now." "All right." "(Engine starts)" "Maybe my night with Manhattan had changed me." "Even though I felt vulnerable, it was like the mouse said." "I also felt powerful, like I now knew things." "Why can't I find the perfect person for me?" "You know, like Maggie is for you." "I'm not sure she is." "Does she know that?" "She knows that I wanna wait until I am." "To have sex?" "You guys haven't?" "No." "I didn't understand." "If Maggie wasn't a virgin, and Walt had said "No," who had said "Yes"?" "I must be the only 17-year-old guy saying "No" to his girlfriend." "Did your dad call the cops on you?" "(Carrie) What?" "Why would he do that?" "Dad, I-I'm--I'm here!" "I'm here." "I'm sorry I'm late." "Uh, we ended up walking home." "It's Dorrit." "She's missing." "What?" "Something horrible might have happened to her." "She's okay, dad." "This never would have happened if your mother was here." "I will kill her when she gets home." "(Door opens)" "(Door closes)" "Hey." "Dorrit." "Where have you been?" "Whatever." "With friends." "I tried to call." "The phone must have been off the hook." "Because you took it off." "Are you drunk?" "Do you know how worried we've been?" "You better start explaining yourself." "Or what?" "You'll ground me?" "You're not my mom." "I'm done." "I'm just done." "Do you think I like this?" "Worrying about you?" "And having to be the mature one?" "(Voice breaking) I would do anything." "I would do anything to have mom back and just to be your sister and not have to worry every day what might happen to you." "I just..." "Ugh!" "I can't take it!" "(Sighs)" "(Rock music playing)" "Kiddo." "I'm--I'm sorry." "(Music stops)" "Don't be." "You know..." "I saw a lot of your mother in you today." "Because I lost it?" "(Chuckles)" "When you were little, and you'd do something awful," "I would just look at your tear-stained face and I'd melt." "I couldn't punish you." "Your mother was tough." "Yeah, I remember." "When I did cartwheels in the pizza place, she wouldn't let me go to Valerie Weiss' 7th birthday party." "And she had a moon bounce in the backyard." "Well, she wanted you girls to be accountable, said it would make you good people." "And now that's my job." "I haven't wanted to do it." "You girls have been through enough as it is." "But also, um..." "By taking on your mom's role..." "That means I would have to admit that, uh..." "That mom's really gone." "Yeah." "But I have to." "It's what your mother would have wanted, no matter how much it hurts." "(Inhales and exhales deeply)" "She also would have wanted me to ground you for coming in an hour past your curfew." "So... no more going out the next two weeks." "Okay?" "Okay." "Okay." "You don't seem too upset about that." "No." "(Knock on door)" "(Footsteps approach)" "Mouse." "Hi." "What's wrong?" "Are you okay?" "(Sighs)" "I think Seth is breaking up with me." "Why?" "What happened?" "He hasn't called in two days." "Well, that's nothing, right?" "I called a bunch." "No, mouse." "How many times?" "(Chuckles)" "Too many." "Well..." "Well, you know, maybe he's just studying?" "Yeah." "How could he have..." "Had sex with me and treat me like this?" "Come here." "(Crying)" "Oh, I'm sorry." "(Whimpering)" "Love is something we wait for." "We imagine our first kiss, our first sex, our first "I love you."" "But we never imagine our first heartbreak." "Maybe because it's too painful to even imagine." "But in a way, the pain of love is what truly changes us." "(Greg Laswell's "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" playing)" "Are you sure, dad?" "I'm sure, kiddo." "♪ Well, daddy dear, you're still number one ♪" "♪ oh, girls, they wanna have fun ♪" "You should take this, Carrie." "♪ Oh, girls, they..." "I think Dorrit should have it." "Mom always loved you in green." "♪ In the middle of the night" "♪ my mother says, "When you gonna live your life right?" ♪" "♪ well, mother dear" "♪ we're not the fortunate ones" "♪ oh, girls, they..." "It's the losing of love that makes us who we are-- the loss of a parent." "♪ Oh, girls, they..." "Of your virginity... ♪ All they really want" "♪ those girls, they..." "Who you thought you might be..." "Nobody saw you, right?" "'Cause if your dad found out..." "He won't." "Of your innocence... ♪ Only hide her away" "Those losses are perhaps our first steps into adulthood." "Life gets more complicated." "♪ But not me (Exhales)" "♪ I wanna be the one" "I thought you didn't swim." "I don't." "♪ Girls, they" "♪ wanna have fun" "♪ oh" "Is that how it's gonna be?" "Yeah." "All right." "Aah!" "Aah!" "♪ It's all they really want" "♪ those girls" "Oh, my God." "Donna's gonna be so pissed." "♪ It's all they really" "But it's also filled with promise and the possibility of opening your heart to new beginnings... ♪ Those girls, they wanna have fun ♪" "Are these..." "mom's journals?" "They're blank ones." "She always had a few extras just in case inspiration struck." "Can I keep them?" "Of course." "Thanks." "(Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" playing)" "And new dreams in new places." "The city was no longer a fantasy." "It was real, and I knew now I wasn't searching for something or somebody here." "I was searching for me-- who I was, who I wanted to be." "♪ Oh, girls just wanna have fun ♪" "♪ just wanna, they just wanna" "♪ girls" "♪ girls just wanna have fun" "Finding my voice wasn't gonna be easy." "But for the first time in a long time," "I thought it might be fun."