"No End" "This call is monitored" "The time is 7.12 a.m." "I died four days ago" "I got the car out, as usual" "I waited in it for ula and Jacek" "The engine ticked over." "The radio forecast a Iow" "I felt a stab of fear." "My heart, I thought" "But the pain never came." "AII I felt was fear" "I took a deep breath" "And that was that" "I wondered if the melons on the balcony would ever sprout" "By now ula had emerged with Jacek" "She walked towards the car but I moved away" "I saw her having trouble with the car door" "But it was like looking down" "That seemed strange" "After all, I was sitting at the wheel" "I felt good." "Everything was so peaceful and quiet" "Though ula seemed to be shouting" "I didn't feel dizzy after my first cigarette" "I couldn't feel the keys in my pocket" "It struck me I couId come back to myself if I wanted to and drive Jacek to school" "But I felt better as I was, much better" "I watched the coffin being closed" "It was then that Jacek understood, because he began to cry" "His hands were frozen" "But he was ashamed to put them in his pockets" "I went back home." "It was still empty" "Darek's dossier was Iying on the desk" "I wished I couId be with him in court" "I only saw ula and Jacek after they got back" "They fell asleep together on his bed" "He clung to her for a Iong time" "She woke up in the night and moved to her own bed" "Ula?" "Tomek here" "l'm in Warsaw, just landed" " Where?" "At Okecie. I hope I'm in time to catch the Counsellor" " He's not here" "At 7.30?" "You two split up?" "is that the alarm?" "How's that for timing?" "Antek is dead" "The funeral was yesterday." "call me later" " Don't talk about it at school" " I won't" "I'II come straight home" "You'II be here, won't you?" "We'II see each other" "is that Mrs Zyro?" "I have to see you, about my husband" "Hello?" "I said I need to see you" " Who are you?" "l'm Darek's wife" "Your husband was his lawyer." "You must know that lt's a political case." "I must see you" "call the office" "I'm not a lawyer." "I'm sending them all the files" "That's the point" "It's about Thursday's biology." "You asked me to..." "The line is crossed." "hello?" "You must have Darek's file." "Hello?" "Waiting for me?" "I called this morning." "Wake up, SyIwia" " I took some milk" " AII right, come in" "How can I help you?" " As I said, I need that file" " What file?" "My husband's case" "I can't give it to you" "Why won't you help me?" "It belongs to the new lawyer" "Those are the rules." "Don't you know?" "files get lost." "No one knows how" "But you don't care" "Come on, SyIwia" "Madam, you said it was a political case" "That's right" "I shouldn't, but if the file is here I'II let you see it" "Is she thirsty?" "Bored?" "No, she likes listening to grown-ups' talk" " Nothing here" " should there be?" "I wouldn't know." "No, nothing" " What did he do?" " A strike." "He organised a strike" "Who'II take the case now?" "Maybe someone like your husband?" "I can't think of anyone." "Wait, though..." "There's this old lawyer Antek trained under" " old?" " Yes" "He was at the funeral." "His name is Labrador" "Maybe he's still in the lawyers' directory" "Go to Dept.4. They'II tell you" "I'd Iike to know who the judge is." "'Bye, thank you" "Sorry to keep you." "How can I help you?" "Mrs Zyro told me you've rescued lots of people." "That you could help me" "Those were different cases" "My last political case was in 1952" "He got death" "After that, I quit" "Now I do petty crime" "That woman won't be testifying." "She's still abroad" "tell our client to remain silent" "Take a taxi." "I'II pay you back" "smuggling offences." "I'm strong on those" "I steer clear of politics" "Have you heard of this case?" "A hot potato, Iike all of them" "You're making an old man face a hard choice" "Not me, the times" "I'm quite aware of the present time" "But what to do about it?" "Got the time?" "A quarter past one" "Damn it, my watch!" "It's stopped." "Know how I got it?" "A present from Antek when he was called to the bar" "Let me sleep on this" "call me tomorrow" " Heard the news?" " What news?" "They've done it." "The scrap-heap at 70" "It's gone through?" "It will." "You can bet on it" "We're finished" "What can we do?" "Guess what?" "We've been given our marching orders" "Come January and we're out!" "So I've heard" "But this charade... how about that for an ending?" "A kind of swan song" "people sometimes go crazy, madam" "You needn't call me" "I'II take the case." "Are you free tomorrow at 4?" "Who are you calling, mum?" "No one." "I was going to, but I forgot who" " Looking for something?" " No" "Just sorting things out" "A man called earlier" "Funny name." "GibraItar..." "That's right." "He asked about some file" "I know." "I'II turn out your light when I go to bed" " Jacek?" "Good night" " Good night, mum" "Antek!" "He was in the car, waiting." "I'd been on the phone" "Maybe if I hadn't been late" " A heart is a heart" " But it can't be a coincidence" " You couldn't have helped" " I'd have been there" "Don't think about it" "What can I think about?" "You're still young." "You've a nice kid." "You're a good translator" "UIka, you and Antek weren't very close lately" "That's true." "But now it seems we were" "Does that make sense?" "He's gone" "Tomek... ten years ago you were close friends" "Later, too" "I know, but when we first met..." "Did you know about certain photographs of me?" "In the nude?" "He told me" " Showed you?" " Of course not" " How did he find out?" " A "weII-wisher" sent them" "I found them yesterday." "He'd cut out my face" "He knew I'd been a guide, and hard up for money" "I couId have explained" "Why didn't he say anything?" "Why did he cut out my face?" " Did he have many such cases?" " recently, yes" " What's this?" " A note" "That's what his wife must have been looking for" ""I'm glad you're defending me" ""You're young and you understand." "The first in a month" ""You're right about having to return to society..." ""...but with honour" ""I'II do as you say" ""No politics." "But I'II admit to being a strike leader" ""They trusted me though I hadn't been in solidarity" ""I wanted to settle grievances, not to wreck the machinery" ""I'm worried about my family" ""tell Joanna not to take SyIwia to dad" ""Best wishes from me and my cellmates." "Darek" ""I'm glad you don't want me to act insane"" "Who'II take this?" "I've been away too long." "Otherwise I might myself" " I put her on to Labrador" " He won't take it" "He already has" "What's this?" "The question mark." "Is it yours?" "By Labrador's name" "You poked around in daddy's things" " No." "When?" " Yesterday" "You scrawIed something with a feIt-tip." "Don't lie!" "You're lying" "You know I'm not lying" "I'm going to Praga." "Want to come?" "No." "Give me the keys." "I'II stay at home" "Wait a second" "It's Antek's wife" " What did they take?" " Guess!" "Contraband books." "You had some lying around" "Yes, I was reading Brandys" " Notebooks?" " Yes" "Any cassettes?" "They took them all." "plus a typewriter, letters..." " From Maciek" " Did you have any notes?" "Some english notes" "I bet you didn't get a receipt" " I was too scared to ask" " Show me" ""I hereby request the return..." ""...of the property confiscated in the search..."" "Search?" "Requisition." "They hate the word 'search'" "And 'request'?" "What are you requesting?" "Right?" " Won't it be impolite?" " Why shouldn't it be?" "Give me some paper." "I'II do it" " What's happened?" " I... my car broke down" "Remember this?" "I showed it to you" "The list of lawyers" " It wasn't torn then" " What else?" " That wasn't there" " Of course it wasn't" "Maybe the boy..." " It couldn't have been him" " Then who?" "It's Antek warning me off Labrador" "So what now?" "No, that's stupid" "I must go." "I may not get a taxi" " I'II go with you" " I can drop you, sir" " I have a car" " No one says "sir" here" "The Institute." "Is that OK?" "I'II get ready" "What Institute?" "For cancer research." "Radiotherapy" "You looked through that file" "I didn't know you." "I was afraid" "There was a message." "Something about not taking the child to see dad." "I don't get it" "I do" "What shall I tell Darek?" "I'm due back soon" "AII you know." "But remember, everything here is fine" "No problems" "BIackbeard!" "For you" "Thanks" " Drop by sometime" " I will" ""I'm worried about my family" ""tell Joanna not to take SyIwia..."" "You'II ruin your eyesight" "Zyro did a good job on our client, didn't he?" "Go away" "Like some tea?" "At this time of day, it's..." "Today?" "What time?" "Shit!" "I'II be there" "Run along" "Make sure the door is shut" "Maybe you know what you want?" "To make things better?" "Fairer, right?" "But where?" " In poland" " Which poland?" "You don't want to talk to me?" "Am I being too blunt with you?" "well then, which poland?" " Ours." "There is no other" " exactly" "socialist poland?" "Can you imagine a different poland?" " Not really" " There you are, then" "The only poland you want to make better is a socialist poland" "And that's what you have to say" "Never mind what you think" "You're pending trial" "Ever been in a courtroom?" "Judges are a fixture" "They respect their job" "They may be tired, but they're well aware history is like a wheel" "Let's give them a chance" " Know what that means?" " Yes." "A seII-out" "There's always some leeway between selling out and compromising, son" "There is." "But you have to find it" "The evidence against you is thin" "They're only interested in leaders." "Don't make it seem the strike was your idea" " It was everyone's idea" " Sure, but it won't look that way" "But I was elected." "I had the list" "Suit yourself" "There's no evidence, no committee, no leader" " Is that right?" " Right" "Not quite, but near enough" "I told you, there's always some leeway" "Now, have you ever been to a demonstration?" "Once" "Why only once?" "I'II tell you why" "The opposition were wearing the same uniform you wore in the army" "You wanted to take part, but couldn't" "Psychiatrists call that..." "Zyro was against pleading insanity" "He was a wonderful man, Antek" "But I'm 40 years older, and I can't do it his way" "Maybe I'm past it, or less gifted" "He was my pupil." "probably better than me" "He was, you might say, an artist" "His way shouIdn't have worked, but it did" "My way is to take a scalpel and hack" "You two must have hit it off" "Pretty well" "Evidence was beneath him" "So were politics" "He'd appeal to people's consciences, even their emotions" "But I can't take chances." "I've only one objective" "To get you out of here" "Is there anything you need?" "We're thinking of a hunger strike" "What for?" "Whose hands do you think you'II be playing into?" "Got any better suggestions?" "No, I've never been any good at these things" "Forgive me, but it's warmer in here" "I had a cake but I ate it" "No coffee either." "Tea?" "No, thank you." "What's this?" "Antek's notes on that kid's case" "Can you decipher them?" "The odd word" ""The law demands..." ""The law demands too much of people today" ""It kills what is..." ""It kills what is most precious in human relationships"" "This is underlined" ""If the Iaw is against loyalty and trust, then it is immoral" ""No government should be..." ""...should be interested in ruling over a divided nation"" "Is it a question or an exclamation mark?" "I never could read his writing" "He wouldn't want me to take this case" "He wanted that boy to go free" "Do you miss him?" "Very much." "I miss him very much" "What's that?" ""It's coming." "It's going to erupt..."" " Want some?" " No, thanks." "We're listening" "I took the parcel yesterday" " It's awful there" " Poor old granny" "First she wouldn't let me in." "Then she cried" "Did that girl get her things back?" " Have you got your things back?" " Not yet" "She took in one of the blokes." "Hence the search" "But they missed him" "Antek put someone up once who was out after curfew" "He hid him from me." "Later he was afraid" " What of?" " I don't know" "Someone's asking for you." "He won't come in" "Meet each other" " Marta Duraj" " UrszuIa Zyro" "Are you related to the lawyer Antoni Zyro?" "Antek?" "I'm his wife" "I knew him years ago" "How is he?" "He died a month ago" " Cigarette?" " Thanks" "You knew him?" "When he was a student." "He came round one night" "A girl and I were sharing a cabin by the beach" "We'd gone to bed" "He'd been swimming and his tent had been stolen" "He was still dripping" "He sat on the bed, soaking wet" "Afterwards... he stood there..." " Scrawny, bandy-Iegged" " He wasn't bandy-Iegged" " He was then" " Then what?" "He wanted to be a judge." "He was into Camus" "The penitent judge..." "I read it later." "Was he a judge?" "No, a lawyer." "That's what he always wanted to be" "Remember anything else?" " I don't think so" " Anything at all?" "He left soon after, to do a course" "That was that." "Were you married long?" "11 years" "A long time." "Was it a heart attack?" "Yes." "How did you know?" "He mentioned his heart at the time" "Everything OK?" "Everything's fine" "They're on hunger strike" "Labrador said Antek was his own man" "We'd all like to be" "But Antek really was" "No one told him what to do" "He wrote things were getting harder" "But his letters were marked 'Censored'." "What's this?" "A photograph." "I've just found it." "Ring a bell?" "Summer of '67" "How skinny he was!" "Who are the girls?" "I've forgotten" "He fancied this one" " Brunette?" "Named Marta?" " No, blonde and thin" "Rather like you" "We always fell for the same girls" "including you" "I'm still carrying the torch" "ula, I want you to know that..." "What are you looking at?" "His hands are like Antek's" " You didn't hear." "I said..." " Don't say it" "Forget I said it, then" "Oh, my God!" "That's my car!" "Rush round to the pound." "Got money?" "Yes." "will you wait?" "No, I'II get the bus." "Off you go!" "My husband died 36 days ago" "There one moment... gone the next" "I assumed I Ioved him, on and off at any rate" "The house, my work..." "I had everything" "But I didn't realise" "I can hardly believe there were bad times, that I hated him" "It's only now I realise I was happy." "I can't accept it" "I can't" "I keep seeing him." "I can't forget him" "You seemed to have hands like him" "You wouldn't understand." "It's my problem" "Sit down a moment" "Goodbye" "I've bought a pair of trainers for SyIwia" "They were available" "Who was he?" "My father" "Daddy!" " Where's SyIwia?" " With a neighbour" "I can't take it any more" "Darek on one side, my father on the other" "He brings me newspapers, with articles exposing them" "people like Darek and me" "I can't go on" "Fuck the lot of them!" "I'm scared, ula" "What of?" "Some of them go abroad." "Others die" "But Darek..." "He'II go to jail" " And I'II be on my own" " Who has died?" "BIackbeard" "Two days ago" "I've translated the OrweII." "He wanted to read it" "You don't care, do you?" "You see all these tragedies, but only yours matters" "Yes, you're right" "Yesterday I did something bad" "Very bad." "I was unfaithful to Antek" "But he's dead" "I don't know why I did that to him, when I can still feel his touch" "I wish I couId help." "I have this address, at JeIonki" "It's this young fellow." "He helped Marta" "You met her here" "She was terribly hung up, and it did her good" " Want to try?" " What?" "To forget" "That's bad news" "I want him to get out, not to starve" "You'd better tell him to start eating" "To take some soup at dinner, and to be the first" "I'II arrange a visit" "I can go, but not to tell him that" "Why not?" "He'd kill me" "Do you want him free?" "But I won't tell him that." "I'm his wife, can't you see?" "Do you think it'II get to anyone?" "certainly not to those that matter" "Human torches, but no water..." "We've been there" "Don't be stubborn." "This will harm him" "OK, I'II tell him." "And you can go on playing the silent wife" "Someone told me to show you this" "Who?" "They've formed a new union at the factory" " Do you know these people?" " One of them." "A friend of Darek's" "They grew up together" "Can you spare me a moment?" "A client of mine's been hit with a tax claim." "He bought a car abroad" "What do you mean, bought?" "A client of yours?" "It was a gift." "That's tax-free" "I'm only a trainee." "But I know how you feel" "Is there any way I can help?" "How are you off for money?" "I forgot that's why I came." "I've brought your money" "Keep it." "I only wondered how you were managing" "We could fix something" "Thank you, I'm all right." "Better than before" "could you lend me the paper?" "Give it to me?" "hello, Judge" "We'II soon be meeting professionally" " That's right." "How do you know?" " I was told" "But first I have some business with you" "Not much" "always at your service" "If you're interested, I'm hearing a fascinating case" "Here's what you'II do" "Go to that factory and ask that fellow if the new union would be prepared to show they care about workers, even strikers by standing ball for Darek" " Do you have a name?" " Of course" "Damn it!" "Where's that paper?" "It was here a minute ago" "It can't have vanished" " Buy another one" " Newspapers now cost 5 zIotys" " Even the Party's?" " AII of them" "Lie down, Iie down" "I haven't done this before" "But it is possible" " Is this man alive?" " Yes" "But he can't be with you?" " And he never will?" " Never" "Good" "I shall now put you to sleep and try to erase him from your memory" "please, Iie down" "flat, relaxed eyes open" "Now look at me, and let your whole body go limp" "Legs, arms, stomach, face..." "Every muscle relaxed" "Now lower your eyelids, gently close your eyes" "You feel light, your muscles are relaxed, your eyelids refuse to open" "Now raise your arm." "It's light..." "It takes no effort." "You're asleep" "Now lower your arm" "gently" "You can't feel your arms, your legs, or any part of your body" "Your mind is blank" "No longer thinking of him" "alive or dead, he's gone, no Ionger there" "You won't want to be with him see him or talk to him" "You don't want to be with him" "When you wake, you will have forgotten his voice, his face..." "You won't want to think about him" "Now I'II wake you" "You're beginning to feel your body" "To feel heavy" "You're waking" "When I count to zero, you'II wake" "Five... four... three two... one... zero" "You've woken" "We may have to repeat this." "please, come again" "Do you feel all right?" "A glass of water?" "Did it help?" "Yes" "Mummy!" "What happened, Jacek?" "Had a bad dream?" "A nightmare?" "Come on, tell mummy" " Don't you want to tell me?" " I do" "You and daddy" "That's nice" "I've never told you this" "I woke up one night" "The light was on in your bedroom" "Daddy was on top of you." "You were both naked" "That's what I dreamt now" "What were you doing?" "Making love" "Yes, love" "You were born because daddy used to cuddle me" "Now you love me." "You're cuddling me" "hello, counsellor" " Are you with someone?" "The coffee" " It's for you" "I thought you'd be more responsive" "Suppose I spring a little surprise on you" "Like ball for Darek from the new, legal, respectable union" "would you release him?" " So the new union would... ?" " They would" "What about him?" "That's the rub, isn't it?" "I'II talk to him, if I think there's a chance" "I don't decide alone" "You think it'II be oil on troubled waters?" "Not at all." "Just a good old lawyer's trick" " Know my answer?" " Yes" "Screw it" "exactly" "I'II be seeing you" "Get yourself a coffee." "The judge drank yours" "You know I joined you to wait things out?" "naturally." "I'm not blind" "criminal cases, divorces..." "that was fine" "But the way you're handling this..." "Listen, no one's forcing you" "I'II give you good references, anyway" "Look what your wife gave me" "She did?" "The way of the world..." "Know any of these people?" "Yes" "My friend from childhood" " He joined the strike" " precisely" "I'm planning to see him" "What for?" "To stand ball for you, to vouch you'II be a good boy" "I won't" "You shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth" "Seize your opportunity." "He's your friend, isn't he?" "He was" "AII right." "But his ball can get you out of here" "Then you won't be facing a summary proceeding or more than one suspended sentence." "Can't you see?" "You can't win now." "Pretend you're passive if you want to stay in the game" "I've never begged a prisoner to agree to be released" "Don't start now" " Not eating?" " No" "Think it'II change anything?" "Damn it!" "I can't watch you kill yourself" "I can't allow..." "Then don't." "Shout it from the rooftops" "Go ahead, die!" "Jump out of the window" "No way" "It's barred" "precisely" "You all decided to live, didn't you?" " Who?" " You... the others" "Your kind" "Your response to martial law was:" "survive!" "You didn't charge the tanks" "Was that wrong?" "No." "But you have to be logical" "If you decide to live you must learn to endure" "Point 5: consequences and conclusions" "Antek's dead." "He can't save both his skin and his honour" "My way's unacceptable." "That leaves one option" "We level with him" "Let him decide himself" "You shouldn't have taken this case" "I had to, my boy." "I admire that man" "I told him he had to survive not waste time on gestures" "His kind of integrity is important not just to him" "people want to be brave." "They need examples" " What are we in the end?" " Defenders" "Yeah, you can say that again" "Murderers, thieves, beg to be sprung" "An innocent man refuses" "After 45 years at the bar, he makes me ask myself:" "Whom do we really defend?" "Against whom?" "Against what?" " Noticed we have the same name?" " AII the time" "At least we can tell him that his family's being taken care of" "That they're provided for" "He needn't worry" "Who'II tell him?" "You, of course, Mietek" "But I'II also tell him what I think" "What's this?" "An underground tape." "Know it?" "Look what I've got" " What is it?" " A canister" "Tear gas" "Where did you get it?" "Where have you been?" "Constitution Square" "Stay away from places like that" "Promise?" "It still stinks" "You're all I've got left." "Promise me" "please!" "Labrador is willing, but tired" "He has his methods, but you're too much for him" "That's good." "The crunch is coming." "You have to shout" "Never mind those bars." "You'II be heard" "plead guilty." "Say yes, I organised the strike" "I want to fight" "I only regret I realised so late" "The strike was a pretext for something bigger" "The men supported you because they wanted to fight too, but didn't dare" "You showed them the way, and you don't regret it" "It'II look just like another trial" "We'II invite observers" "With luck, they won't be admitted" "And both sides will think something's afoot" "The whole of Warsaw will be talking." "Know what they call that in Cracow?" "They have a special word for it" "Here's what counsel will say:" ""I do not ask the court for special treatment" ""The accused is a nobody." "Nobodies are legion" ""But this nobody is also a brave man" ""And courage is contagious" ""He is dangerous because he speaks the truth" ""And no bars can confine him" ""The work of this court, and these proceedings, are futile" ""The accused knows that futility and impotence breed rage"" " You mean hate" " Don't you feel it?" "Zyro spoke of clarity" "He said both sides must wipe their glasses" "That you have to try and find your way again" "Each man must find it himself" "himself, even if everyone else is..." " He has to" " That's poetry" "Labrador said there was no evidence" "That I'd have to kowtow and get out of here as fast as possible" "That's mere pragmatism" "It amounts to selling out" "I'm proposing a third possibility" "Say your aim was to subvert the system" "No, it wasn't that" "What then?" "Never mind how clear you are about that" "Say you wanted to subvert the system" "At least you'II go to jail for something" "You're facing a minimum of three years" "And maximum?" "You've got it!" "Let the issues be sharp and clear" "Or we'II still be queuing for a bar of soap" "still not eating?" "hold on a few more days" "The worse you look the better" "What's the matter?" "Come on, damn it!" "You use that word too often" "I'm sorry" "The hunger strike has ended" " When?" " Yesterday" "You've won" "I have" "We're defenders" "Here's the ball" "We should make the most of it" "Yes, we should" " What's today?" " The 3rd" "Take it to the judge" "tell him I'II be there in an hour" "Get going, damn it!" "I came to say goodbye" "Why?" "I'm leaving" "It's not easy telling you, or anyone for that matter" " Where are you going?" " Back, via Canada" "Opting out?" "Sure." "But why make things tough?" "There's nothing for me here" "The world I remember from photographs has gone" "smiling faces, a helping hand..." "Everything clear and simple." "It's all gone" " It was his world, wasn't it?" " Yes, it was" "people have withdrawn, split up..." "I no Ionger know what's good or bad" "Some people I can't see" "Others I don't care to see" "I've tried going it alone, but alone is alone" "I hoped..." "I'm leaving" "Antek is here" "Forget him" " I saw him" " In a dream" "No, I saw him" "I couId have asked him..." "Where are you going now?" "Can you give me a lift?" "Come in" "We've started" "I don't want to eat, I don't like fatty food" "I want to be thin and weII-proportioned" "Eating doesn't give you pleasure" "Your bodies cannot feel hunger" "You're asleep" "asleep, asleep..." " well?" "Has he gone?" " He's gone" " You want to lose weight?" " No!" "I want to repeat the treatment" "But if he's gone?" "I want to anyway" "You lied to me" "He's dead, isn't he?" "You see..." "I don't communicate with the Beyond" "Daddy used to bring me here to see grandfather" "Can I?" " For a moment" " Go on" "I Iove you" "Do you hear?" "I Iove you" "Mum, I've something to say you won't like" " I Iove dad's mum more than yours" " I know" "You've hardly ever left me here" "well, now I will." "Look, there's granny!" "He's very fond of you." "He told me in the car" "He's a good boy now." "Very good" "Off you go." "And don't worry" "Are you going far?" " You didn't say goodbye" " See you" "When it's for longer, we should say goodbye." "Goodbye, mummy!" "Goodbye, Jacek" "In the name of the polish people's republic the Warsaw metropolitan Court, on 6th November 1982 after hearing the evidence against Dariusz Stach finds the accused guilty as charged of offences against article 46 of the martial Law Decree and article 12 of the special regulations Law" "Waiving summary procedure this Court sentences him to 18 months imprisonment" "Execution of the sentence is suspended for two years" "The prisoner Dariusz Stach is hereby released from custody" "You're free to go" "congratulations, sir" "Thank you" "counsellor..." "You shouldn't" "We'II leave in a minute" "We're leaving" "Now I'm on this side of the fence" "My last day, my last case" "May I read you a poem I've found?" ""And I don't even know how I happened" ""To change from wolf into mangy dog" ""Maybe my muzzle lost the wind's dark touch" ""My howling no Ionger scowIed at the sky" ""A flicker of fear, not a boisterous flame" ""Stormed upon my back" ""Maybe no one needed to put this collar on me" ""And I myself crawled over" ""To beg fawning and dog-Iike" ""Lord, who lovest even those who grovel" ""And can kindle pride in a worm's pale blood" ""help open the throat of one muteIy shouting" ""And tell me to walk free even though I'm weeping""