"It is with a heavy heart that I take up my pen to write these the last words in which I shall ever record the singular gifts by which my friend Mr. Sherlock Holmes was distinguished." "In an incoherent and, as I deeply feel, an entirely inadequate fashion, I have endeavored to give some account of my strange experiences in his company from the chance which first brought us together at the period of the "Study in Scarlet,"" "up to his interference in the matter of the French Ambassador— an interference which had the unquestionable effect of preventing a serious international complication." "It was my intention to have stopped there, however my hand has been forced, by the recent letters in which Colonel James Moriarty defends the memory of his brother," "and I have no choice but to lay the facts before the public exactly as they occurred." "Sherlock Holmes" "Lord Brasher's manor, North Yorkshire" " Mr. Ebenhaezer..." " Please, Madam, just call me George." " When shall we begin, George?" " We are waiting for your signal." "Then you may proceed." "We may begin." "Begin." "Ladies and gentlemen, today we will announce the Lord of Misrule, and, of course, the Christmas Fairy." "Who are they?" "Who?" "Who are they among you all?" "The Earl!" "The Earl and Countess!" "Today you will celebrate, and we will be assisting you, won't we?" "I order you all, from this minute on," "right through to the end of Christmastide, to have fun, laugh, play jokes on one another, sing, jest, and dance!" "Let it be so!" "You are so beautiful, even... even without the necklace." "Where is your necklace?" "And where is your collar pin?" "And where are your earrings?" "And the watch is gone." "Where..." "Chapter Seven:" "Holmes' Last Case" "Get away from the body!" "Who let these people in here?" "Mr. Sherlock Holmes is my friend, sir, it was I who invited him." "This is a police investigation." "Mr. Holmes, be so kind as to step aside." "Interesting." "Now, my Lord, I should like to hear how it happened." "Well it all started off wonderfully." "I was named Lord of Misrule and Elizabeth was chosen to be the Christmas Fairy." "And what happened next?" " We were dressed in costume." " Here..." "And... forgive me, but who dressed you up?" " Mr. Ebenhaezer." " Mr. Ebenhaezer?" "He was one of your guests." "Where is he?" " He's behind you." " Behind your back, Inspector." "He was our old friend, we always invited him to organise our family holidays." "This time he was organising Christmas for us." "It all started really quite well," "Elizabeth waved her magic wand, confetti flew down, the dancing started, and then we noticed that our jewellery was gone." "Did you search the house?" "Is there anything else missing?" "No, they've opened the safe, but didn't take anything from it." "I understand the gist of it, sir, but in order to sort it out in detail... we will have to question all your guests." "That will be a bit difficult, they've all left." "What?" "All of them?" "Would you stay in a house with a dead body?" "This is my job." "In that case, I will need a detailed list of all of your guests." "We didn't invite anyone specifically, the doors were open for everyone." "I'll try, Inspector, to make a complete list of everyone I know and remember." "Try to do it as soon as possible, my Lord." "Found something?" "Ah, the button." "I'm sure it belongs to the thief." "Mr. Ebenhaezer tried to stop him, and it cost him his life." "Look, the button was torn off fiercely, as you can see." "Perhaps there was a fight, and even a shot, which the guests didn't hear because of the firecrackers, the music!" "But what about the safe that was opened, but from which nothing was taken?" "Why?" "There was nothing to take." "The diamonds were worn on the Earl's and Countess' person." "The thief spotted how the jewellery had been caught in the costumes first, and he took them, killing the impresario." "What do you say, Holmes?" "Logical." "We only need to find the button's owner then." "Is that so?" "Don't you worry, I'll take care of that." " But what should we do with—" " The doctor is asking if you need his help in examining the corpse." "No, I'll call my people!" "In that case, we have nothing more to do here." "Doctor, let's go." "Welcome, gentlemen." "Sherlock, this is a nightmare!" "I don't understand, why did you bring me here?" "Perhaps it'll be an intriguing case and you'll have material for a new story." "Were they good actors?" "Excellent." "George always calls for the best ones." "Damn it, Holmes, he's dead!" "The songstress?" "Beautiful voice." "Seemed like she was American, a Negress." " And the safe?" " Nothing was taken." "I'm not a dilettante, Sherlock!" "Well, all's clear." "Have a good day, my Lord, we have a train to catch." "Good day." "No, of course, I understand, Holmes." "It may well be that" "I haven't led an enviable life." "I didn't become a banker, I don't own restaurants, shops, or ships, I'm just a doctor." "An Asclepius." "I've been sent to the most dangerous, dirtiest garrisons and there I treated patients without any supplies." "The stories they told me with their final breaths before they died almost drove me to despise humanity." "I've been a soldier, a doctor, yes, even a prisoner of war." "But nobody, do you hear, nobody anywhere ever treated me like an idiot." "But only an idiot could believe that Lestrade was even anywhere close to the truth." "How did all these diamonds get caught in his clothes?" "How?" "And why did the murderer go to the safe, yet not take anything?" "And what's with this button?" "How could he think to take the empty bullet casing, but not the button?" "It's my button." "What?" "I found this cork in Ebenhaezer's hand." "I need your help." "This is madness." "Holmes, why?" "Why?" "!" "This is insane— no, this is worse than madness, this is a crime." "I'm not helping you." "Enough is enough!" "I should've helped Irene Adler." "Who?" "Yes, she was the songstress for the Earl's Christmas party and she was the one who stole all of Brasher's jewellery." "The songstress?" "The Negress?" "Useful if you ever want to be Othello." "I met Irene in Paris on the eve of the World's Fair." "I was invited to investigate Botton's case." "He managed to sell the incomplete Eiffel Tower for the scrap metal, twice." "The fraud was uncovered, the money returned, and construction continued." "Strange form of applause." "You!" "You are a scoundrel!" "You scum!" "I knew you're an Englishman, you don't give a damn about France!" " You don't give a damn about Paris!" " Look, it's true I haven't come to love Paris yet, but—" " Let go of me!" " But now I will have some very strange memories." " I'm protesting!" " Against London?" " I have no particular liking of her either." " Why England?" "You didn't hit upon an idea to build such monster in England!" " You mean the tower?" " Yes, I don't like it!" "But I do." " I think it's beautiful." " Beautiful?" "You don't know what beauty is." "You..." "Great!" "Bravo, bravo!" "There'll be couplets on soon." "They're not very decent for the English ear, but" "I think you'll like them." "What are you saying about England?" "I'm English, and I like the couplets." " Do you know each other?" " Mr. Holmes!" "Well done!" "It serves the frogs right!" "Where would they be without us, huh?" "Mr. Holmes, embrace me!" "I'm sorry, but I don't know you." "But I know you." "I've read a lot about you, Mr. Holmes." "My name is Phillip McIntyre." " Lord McIntyre." " Exactly!" "Exactly!" "Mademoiselle." "Oh, yes, sorry." "Mademoiselle," "Lord Phillip McIntyre." "Why all the formalities?" "What is this, 'Alice Through the Looking Glass'?" "Holmes, what are you drinking?" "I would like some wine!" " Garcon, wine please!" " Lord, wait!" "Mr. Holmes has never tried real absinthe." "Ah!" "Excellent choice." "Garcon, a bottle of absinthe, please." "Of course, you've been up the tower, haven't you?" "Such grandiosity!" "You know, Irene has a completely different point of view." "And I agree with her." "I know, I know." "Even Maupassant isn't pleased." "But, my friends, progress waits for no one." "Of course, they've built an expensive toy to brag on the World's Fair, and we'll have to live with it for 20 years." "Irene showed me the real Paris today." "Good on you, Holmes!" "I'm so tired of these grey walls, all this pretentiousness." "By the way, -bravo!" "–" "I didn't attend the Fair by chance." "I brought a collection of Indian rubies and emeralds." "Holmes, would you like to see them?" "I don't understand anything about gems." "This is alchemy!" "Oh, Holmes, this is the highest form of alchemy, the philosophers' stone." "Here." "My friends, let's drink!" "Gentlemen, give me a minute!" "A beautiful lady, Holmes, very beautiful." "Too beautiful." "Holmes..." "Here's to your lady, Holmes!" "This drink is too strong for me after all." "Holmes, it works, it works!" "You've repeated the word "too" four times already!" "Yes, too often." "If you happen to be in Paris, Watson, do not abuse absinthe under any circumstances." "Look at what's become of modern French painting." "It's a very dangerous drink." "Its main component is Artemisia absinthium, or wormwood, the essential oils of which contains thujone, a poisonous substance that causes hallucinations." "That's why, John, intoxication from absinthe produces similar effects to certain drugs." "The boundary between dream and reality disappears." "I don't really remember how we got to the hotel, and I'm not even sure whether what happened next was real." "It's beautiful after all." "And?" "Why did you tell me all this?" "Maybe I wanted to..." " May I join you, gentlemen?" " Of course, come in, Father, come in." "Thank you." "I was actually in the middle of a confession." "Excuse me, are you also a priest, sir?" "I don't think so, I'm the opposite." "I'm a doctor." "I heal the body, not the soul." "Without a healthy soul there can't be a body." "Please, Father, let's skip the preaching, I..." "Your soul is healthy." "It's not for you, but for this gentleman." "And by the morning she was gone." "Yes?" "Beautiful, beautiful!" "What happened?" "Holmes, she stole all my diamonds." "All of it!" "But how beautiful, Holmes!" "Irene Adler, bravo, bravo!" "All of them, everything!" "Irene Adler, bravo!" "Bravo!" "She took all of McIntyre's gems." "She's the first woman who ever deceived me, had me wound right around her finger like a simpleton." "And after all this you'll still be covering for her, won't you?" "I believe the gentleman still loves her." "The next time I met her was three years later." "I found her in London, in The Canterbury Music Hall where she was working as a jazz singer under the name Adele Solden." "Ladies and gentlemen, Adele Solden!" "What a success!" "Success!" " Sherlock, what—" " I finally found you!" "Took you a while." "What do you want?" "Let's go, I'll show you London, the real London." "Let's begin with Scotland Yard." "What did I do?" "First of all, you left Lord McIntyre out of pocket by 30 thousand pounds." "Thirty thousand?" "What 30 thousand?" "If I had 30 thousand I would have been sitting in the hall and not dancing on the stage!" "What are you hiding?" "Show me, come on, show me!" "What's this!" "This is a cork." "A cork, Veuve Clicquot, a '75." "Exactly the same one we were drinking." "Do you mean to say..." "Do not laugh." "Did you go back?" "You were gone already." "Why did you return?" "For the violin!" "Wait, give me a hairpin." "Give me a hairpin, a hairpin!" "And you just let her go?" "You did the right thing." "Was it right, Father?" "You aren't aware, but this woman has caused" " a lot of trouble for this gentleman recently." " Christ loved fallen women too." "It seems to me, Holmes, that she simply got tired of the journey you sent her on after that ill-fated case of the missing photograph." "Incidentally, this woman has just stolen from" " the Lord and Countess Brasher." " You don't understand anything!" " What do I—" " Nothing at all!" "This cork is a cry from her heart, she's asking me for help!" "Excuse me." "Earlier I told you you have a healthy soul." "It's too healthy." "London, England" "Skirts higher!" "One, two, three, four!" "One, two, one, two!" "Jump!" "More energy!" "Keep the distance!" "Mouth wider!" "Smile!" "Show me your teeth!" "Sir!" "Excuse me," " excuse me, sir" " Gentlemen!" "The music hall is closed, we have a rehearsal!" " Please leave the building." " The door was open..." "So what?" "!" "Gentlemen, can't you read?" " Look, written in black and white." " You're Anthony Pay?" "You used to serve as a constable." "Yes, but now I'm a director." "Well, I'll be... the zigzags of fate." "I mean, what could these professions possibly have in common?" " Stop, stop!" " Forgive me for interrupting." "Could you spare a second?" "We're looking for Adele Solden." " Step apart!" " Actually, perhaps they share something in common after all." "Again!" "Music!" "More energy!" "Miss Solden doesn't work here anymore." "Energy!" "She terminated her contract." " Smile, smile!" " So how do we find her now?" "She asked me not to tell anyone." "Why?" "Did something happen?" "The thing is that Ebenhaezer's death upset her very much, she became depressed." " Energy!" "One, two, three, four!" " She will be performing at the German embassy tomorrow." "Thank you Lucy, thank you!" "Kaiser of Germany, Wilhelm II, visits London!" " Diabolical experiments of a crazy scientist!" " For God's sake, Sherlock, this is silly." "You know how the criminal mind works." " After all this she'll be sure to go into hiding and nobody—" " No, I'm sure she'll be there!" "Look, here are all the people invited to the reception at the German Embassy." "Kaiser of Germany, Wilhelm II, visits London!" " Satanic experiments of a crazy scientist!" " Aha, the Rosenberg brothers and their wives." "Well." "As always, Watson, you're very neatly dressed." "Let's go." "Come on!" "Is that what you call politics, sir?" "No, this is but some badly cooked oatmeal; gruel." " Politics should be sharp, like the taste of chili pepper." " And as strong as Irish whiskey." " As hot as Italian pizza." " And as foul as French cheese?" "Gentlemen, politics should be aggressive, otherwise it's..." " not politics." " It's a Christmas card." "You know, flowery." " And useless." " It's all very well for you to sit here and talk of war and politics, with a glass of cognac and a cigar in your hand." "Do you know what soldiers have to say?" "Soldiers with bullets in their stomachs, their throats, and their heads?" "Nothing." "They just choke and spit blood all over your reasoning." "Just blood." "Politics is a bloody business." " You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs." " What about boiled eggs?" "Britain has become lazy, lethargic..." " and soon her colonies will be seized by more ambitious and courageous countries." " Such as which?" "Such as Germany." " Order and strength." " Will and calculation." "Cynicism and cunning." "Cunning and cynicism." "Exactly!" "Exactly what our Crown is lacking." "Do you know, gentlemen, why nobody buys our steel?" " Because—" " It's all rusted." " Look," " this- this is—" " Immoral?" "And who told you, Watson, that morality and politics could ever be reconciled?" "Nobody told me." "I just know it for myself." "I know that this is one" " of the necessary conditions for the existence of any civilised society." " What do you know about civilisation?" " More than you." " Amusing." "Gentlemen, this is coming from a person who is still convinced that the sun rotates around the Earth;" "a person to whom the names Diderot and Voltaire mean nothing!" "Nietzsche as well?" "Just say it plainly, Watson, did you ever need your knowledge of Voltaire, Diderot, or Nietzsche?" "Did it help you to find less expensive rooms?" "To save money?" "Buy coal?" " Exactly." " Look, there's a certain level of culture that every—" "Our brain, gentlemen, is a small empty attic, and rational people keep only the instruments they will need for their work." "Yes, there are many of them, but they are all arranged in exemplary order." "Only the fool drags around all sorts of junk and rubbish, and when it finally comes to the things he needs, there is simply no space." "And we are the fools?" "I didn't say that." " That's precisely what you said." " I meant you," "Doctor, just you." "Pity I don't have the boxing gloves with me." "Why?" "Are you afraid you'll hurt your hands?" "Or are you afraid of blood?" "But you're a veteran." "Or are all your stories about the war just lies and nonsense?" "Don't do this, Holmes, you know I'll do something you'll regret." "You're not going to do anything." "Because you're an intelligent person." "Put simply, a coward." "Call the steward!" " Gentlemen!" "Gentlemen!" " Is that all?" "Look, he can't fight, he's like a woman!" " Please, stop!" " What?" "What?" "What are you going to do?" "All right, all right." "Gentlemen!" "Watson, gentlemen, I apologise, I have not behaved honourably." "I take my leave." "Excuse me." "I'm sorry, gentlemen." " We're not finished, Holmes!" " But we are!" "We're done!" "It's done!" " Get back here!" " Invitations:" " for Charlie and Henry Rosenberg!" " What does the invitation have to do with it?" "!" " You insulted me!" " So?" "You promised to help me!" "And I need proper help!" "What did you think you'd do, carry my umbrella?" " No, but—" " This is a very unusual, very cruel murder!" "What?" "Wait, since when did an ordinary robbery suddenly become something unusual?" "Yes, well, you noticed that nothing disappeared from Lord Brasher's safe, but you didn't notice that the safe was opened after the death of Eben..." " ...hauser?" " Ebenhaezer!" " Wait, but why do you- oh, for the love of..." "Confetti." "Did you notice the confetti?" "The confetti on the floor." "The confetti only appeared after the wave of the magic wand, when the jewellery was already in Irene's pocket." "For some reason, only then did she go to the office to open the safe." "It took a lot of time." "The body of the impresario could be discovered at any moment- any moment!" "Why did she take such a risk?" "There was money in the safe, about 300 pounds, but she didn't take it!" "She must have been looking for something else." "It's empty." "It's too early for us to part after all." "But you promised." "You shouldn't trust the word of Satan." "Cab!" "Wait, do you think it was her who killed the impresario?" "I don't know." "I hope not." "I understand you don't give a damn about the life of this man, but this is your thief- is she- is she a murderer?" "The man is already dead!" "Dead!" "Even if she is the murderer, I don't care." "I don't know, Holmes, it's just..." " you know, right now you're acting as if..." " Cab!" "As if what?" "I don't know, as if nothing matters, as if you're going to die tomorrow!" "No!" "Tomorrow we're going to the reception!" "Look, no, you're Charlie, I'm Henry." "Now we just need wives." "Cab!" "No, no, no and no, I've already told you!" "But it's just pretending, just for one evening." "A fake wife, for one evening!" "You insult me, sir." "What next, are you going to offer me money?" " But, but- no, it's for the case, consider it a game—" " A game?" "You will be Elsa Rosenberg for one evening." "I don't like the name Elsa," "I can't stand the name" " "Elsa"!" " Well, then, what am I supposed to do, call a prostitute?" "Are you asking for a slap?" " Me or a courtesan, is it all the same in your eyes?" " No, but, but..." "But you're not agreeing!" "But you're not even asking!" "What do you— I've been asking for a whole hour, Mrs. Hudson, for you to become my wife!" "Say that again." "But I don't know how to..." "I don't know..." "What did you say just then?" "I'm sorry." "Before that." "Before that?" " Well, I was asking..." " About what?" "You know." " Well!" " Well- well- "well" what?" "This is difficult..." "I..." " What is it you want to ask me?" " Why are you... doing this?" "What is this for?" "You've already refused, so why... what are you..." "What am I supposed to say?" " What?" " And if I" "And you'll- you'll just refuse me again, won't you?" "But you'll still risk it." "Don't do this to me, Mrs. Hudson..." "Please don't." "Mrs. Hudson, this is serious." "I am serious." "I understand." "I understand that I'm not handsome." "I'm not fortunate, not successful, I'm... just a doctor." "I understand." "I write poems that nobody likes but me, and stories that everybody likes but me." "I'm... boring." "And proud." "A horrible combination, I know." "I understand that I will never ever become an academic in medicine, nor an author of classic literature." "I understand that all my life I will be taking advantage of other people's hospitality and performing clandestine abortions." "I'm sorry." "Are you trying to persuade me, or dissuade me?" "Mrs. Hudson, will you be my wife?" "My leg isn't bending." "A wife for one evening?" "For the rest of my life." "My dear doctor, you are an extraordinary person." "You are reliable and steadfast, honest through and through." "You would make a wonderful husband and father." "Any woman would be happy to become your wife." "So you agree?" "Mrs. Hudson!" "God damn it, Watson, stop crawling on the floor, it's time to get dressed." "Lucia was kind enough to provide all sorts of feminine paraphernalia and promised to help with hairstyling." " How nice!" " Also I brought jewellery, I'll help you with your hair." "God damn it, Holmes!" "You just ruined everything." "Precisely what I'm about to do." "I told you, it's meant to be white tie." "Charles Rosenberg, and his wife." "Henry Rosenberg, and his wife." " John, go to the front." " Why me?" " You're Charles, I'm Henry, go on, we agreed." "Ah, Mr. Rosenberg!" "German Ambassador, Otto von Stich." "Very pleased to meet you." "My wife, Greta von Stich." "Frau." "Elsa Rosenberg." " Ah, Mr. Rosenberg!" "I've heard a lot about you." "My wife." " And I you, your Excellency." " Anna Rosenberg." " Oh, how lovely." "Gentlemen, please." "Gentlemen," "I don't want to interrupt the solemnity of the moment, but..." "Gentlemen, be ready." "In a few minutes you will be attending a highly important and confidential meeting." "Mrs. Hudson, you look... stunning." "I imagine I must, considering the Ambassador gave me this." "The old rake." "Such skill." "And nobody even noticed." "Well, I've noticed something else instead." "That gentleman over there can't take his eyes off us." "Of course." "Look at us, the Rosenberg twins..." "Heil dir im Siegerkranz,*" "Herrscher des Vaterlands!" " One minute." "Herrscher des Vaterlands!" "Herrscher des Vaterlands!" "Heil, Kaiser, dir!" "Fühl in des Thrones Glanz" "Die hohe Wonne ganz," "Liebling des Volks zu sein!" "Heil Kaiser, dir!" "Fühl in des Thrones Glanz" "Die hohe Wonne ganz," "Liebling des Volks zu sein!" "Heil Kaiser, dir!" "Sei, Kaiser Wilhelm, hier" "Lang' deines Volkes Zier," " Gentlemen, I've warned you." "Follow me." "Lang' deines Volkes Zier," "Der Menschheit Stolz!" "Fühl' in des Thrones Glanz," "Die hohe Wonne ganz," "Liebling des Volks zu sein!" "The Rosenberg brothers, your Highness." "Come in, gentlemen, come in." "Gentlemen, the time of Otto von Bismarck is long behind us." "As is that of all the wiling and manoeuvring." "Germany is entering the world stage." "She will be wealthy, powerful." "Knowing your attitudes, gentlemen, we have especially invited you here to offer our hand in cooperation, all the way from the banks of the Rhine." "We need your steel." "Your machines, your technology and, most importantly, your business acumen." " Where did they go?" " Where else?" "Men's business, politics." "Mrs. Elsa." "You are completely different from how I imagined you." " Really?" "How so?" " Well, I thought you'd be older." "Frau Greta, if the hair is done right and you have a good dress, you can work miracles." "Not so much as you get older, my dear." "Have we met before?" "At the Royal Ascot?" "You and I?" "At the Royal Ascot?" "You must be joking." "I really don't like the shops there at all." "What Anna means to say is that she simply does not have the mind to look for a new hat to visit the races." " Thank you." " That's exactly the problem." " Won't the beautiful songstress please us with her voice once more?" "Of course she will, the reception has just begun." "Don't you find the songstress' voice rather familiar?" "Yes, it is familiar." "But that one was a Negress." "Please." "Excuse me, sir, are you not interested?" "Why, Your Highness, we are very interested." "I simply wished to say that you needn't attempt to cajole us, let's get straight to the point." "The sharpness of military blood." " Where did you serve, sir?" " The expeditionary force in Afghanistan." "Just as I thought." "Please, have some patience." "Yes, I know this does not surprise you, but this bulb works not for an hour, not even up to 40 hours as Edison's does, but up to several weeks." " This is the creation of the Russian engineer Lodygin." " Who?" " Lodygin." "Yes, that's right." "It was developed in Russia, but it will work for us." "We attached it to a plinth and carefully extracted the air." "This is the fate of the Russian Empire:" "she will give us her uncut diamonds and we will sell them back as gemstones." "There is a great future for electricity." "I give the floor to Herr Schlager, who conducts amazing experiments with electricity." "Please." "Well, actually, I'm a biologist..." "Just one second!" "What's the matter, gentlemen?" "We have made the contract as you wished." "You deceived me again!" " What are you doing here?" " I received an invitation." "I didn't invite you." "Then this is a very brazen crime." "It disappeared a month ago." "Sherlock!" " Who are you?" " Rosenberg." " It seems to me there has been a mistake." " I'm Charles, Charles Rosenberg." " Ah, it's Doctor Watson!" " Charles Rosenberg!" "He's an impostor, and he brought some wench with him!" "I'm Charles Rosenberg!" " What's in there?" " I don't know!" " Let's see!" "But you won't fire." "Not at you." "Sherlock!" "Put it on!" "Here, quick!" "Quiet, quiet." "Quiet!" "No, it's empty." "It's empty, no diamonds!" "Let me see!" " Quickly!" " No, it's not empty!" " What's in it?" " What is that?" " The very thing we'll be killed over." "Quick!" "Give it to me!" "Tell me everything." "Sherlock, you don't understand." "He will kill you and me both if I don't hand it over." " Please, my dear, please." " What did he do to you?" "How does he control you?" "Why did you leave Argentina?" " Give it to me!" " Quiet!" "Look at me, look at me." "Do you think I'll give up you?" "No." "That I'll just let you go?" "I won't." " Not ever." " He'll kill you." "Let him kill me." "Maybe I'll do it." "Why is your fear of him greater than your trust in me?" "Now, tell him that I want to meet him and that I will give it to him myself." "I'll say when and where." "Why do you think he would agree?" "He invited me himself." "Damn!" "Damn." "Quick." "You didn't steal anything, you were frightened because of the fire, and you saw where I went." " I repeat, we will sort it out." " And I repeat, release the women, I'm the only person to blame, the women are innocent." " Shut it, man, you're disrupting my sleep." " I- excuse me, but I'm not talking to you, it's none of your business." " What did you say?" " Be quiet over there!" " Just a second, just a second." "I said..." " I'm not talking to you, it's none of your business." " This is my turf and everything is my business." " Doctor, don't mess with him!" " Just a second." " I'll say it once more, none of this has anything to do with you whatsoe—" " I'm in charge here." "Meet my friend!" "That's it." " Doctor, you are cruel." " Attention!" " Sit down, lazybones." "Old friends." "And where's Holmes?" "Oh, but of course, he's not here." "Your friend is now dabbling in robbery." "Watson, how could he betray you like that?" "Don't be ridiculous, Inspector, you know perfectly well that Holmes didn't rob anybody." "Right, and the invitations to the reception at the German embassy stolen from the Rosenberg brothers?" "Was that not his doing?" " This is- no, this isn't right, you don't understand—" " What don't I understand?" "Holmes... was... trying to prevent a crime." "Is that so?" "I see that having become a literary hero thanks to you and your stories, Sherlock Holmes has become particularly inventive in his methods of investigation." "Don't you think, Doctor, that you and your friend have fooled around for long enough?" "But what I really don't understand is how he managed to deceive Mrs. Hudson." "He just used you, lady." "Holmes didn't steal from the Embassy's safe, it wasn't him, it was—" "There are multiple witnesses from the scene of the crime who saw that it was Holmes jumping out of the window and running away from the Embassy's guards!" " That- that can't be true..." " Ask Holmes yourself." "By the way, you're free." "Lord Brasher posted your bail." "Lestrade!" "Lestrade!" "Why were you squatting in the darkness?" "So as not to frighten." "Whom?" "You." "Oh, I thought you were trying to do exactly the opposite." "I could smell the scent of your cigars at the top of Baker Street." "In our sitting room nobody turns off the lights." "Your policemen are in every corner, and the carriage!" " Could you at least leave the carriage just a little bit further away?" " Nonsense." " John!" "If you knew that we were here you would never have come in." " But why?" "Why can't I come back home?" " Because you are a criminal!" "Certainly, this time." "Take him!" " Holmes, you were seen running away with the jewellery." " So, what?" " It's gone far enough." " Enough with the lyrics." "Take him away!" "Well, I didn't expect this from you." "Nor I you." "Mr. Watson, I will not be your wife!" " Mrs. Hudson!" " Yes?" " Mr. Holmes asked me to give this to you after the policemen take him away." " Thank you, Tom." " He asked to you to keep it for the evening." " But this... we need to give this to the police." " Mr. Holmes asked him to give it to me, not to you." " I understand, Martha, but" " Why don't you call the police on me too?" " Wake me up only when the bail gets posted!" " Shut up, you're disturbing my sleep!" "Pete the Rat?" " Can't think of a new excuse for once?" " What?" "Why can't I even ask?" " How did you come by such money, Doctor?" " Well, I..." "I sold the publication rights." "Selfless." "Why, Watson?" " Why would you care about a person who..." " You know, Inspector... you're actually the last person I would ever this confess to, but I'll say it anyhow." "I hate Holmes with all my heart." "For his slovenliness, his meticulousness, his self-confidence, for his... everything." "But... while he's free, I can sleep in peace." "While he's free, there will be justice." " That sounds like an insult." " Release Holmes." " You know, I could arrest you." " Fine." " Better yet, put me in there instead of him." " Why the sacrifice?" "Holmes is free." " You can take your money back." "He has much more influential benefactors than you." " Who?" "Kaiser Wilhelm of Germany." "Personally." "Mr. Holmes, you're free." "Watson!" " Do you have money?" " Yes." " Change?" "How much do you want for your rat?" " Two pounds." " Give him a halfpenny." "Now she's my helper." "Watson, are you ill?" "Come in, come in, Watson." "You're breathing like a train." " I was just passing by, I—" " You've been standing there, Doctor, for the past hour." " Come in, sit down." "Thank you." " Do you want a drink?" " No, no, thank you." "Do you mind if I smoke?" "I believe, you have many questions." " Well, your patience will be rewarded." " I would be very grateful." "Question one: what was Irene Adler going to steal?" "Or, more precisely, the one who sent her." " Was it diamonds?" " Why, then, did she raid the safes of both Brasher and the Embassy, when she knew full well that there were no diamonds?" "Curious." "It was for this." " What is it?" " Just a minute's patience more, my dear doctor." "I puzzled over this question for several hours." " Holmes, sometimes you're starting to sound a lot like—" "Like one of your fictional characters?" "You know, to be quite honest, somehow I've found myself beginning to resemble my literary double." " I suppose that makes you Pygmalion." " I suppose." " And now, the point of greatest interest!" " Are you going to kill the rat?" " Oh, no." "These needles are capable of much greater atrocities." "So, we know that the human brain contains centres responsible for... pain, fear, and aggression." "Experiment number one:" "inhibition of pain." "Forming the chain." "Observe." "Careful." "Now, look." "Remember that crazy professor, Schlager, who was at the Embassy?" "Brasher brought these needles at his request, or rather, at the request of the Kaiser himself." "Experiment number two: the centre of aggression." "Attention." "Encouraging aggression." "She'll escape!" "Hold her!" "Hold her, I say!" "Why are you just standing there?" "!" "So, as a result of the second experiment, the rat had to be shot." "Have a look at these papers." "I found them in the folder I stole from the Embassy." "This is the work of the mad Professor Schlager who works for the Kaiser." "The Kaiser freed me only under the condition that I return these needles to him." "Return them?" "Why?" "You could make thousands of them." " Impossible." " Why?" "I couldn't find this metal in any metallurgical reference book." "By its properties, it does not fit any of the known elements on Mendeleev's periodic table." "I don't know how it works, but perhaps the oscillation of atoms of this metal, together with electricity, affects certain parts of the brain and opens up hidden possibilities." "Just imagine - an army!" "An army of killers who know neither fear nor pain, marching forth and destroying everything in its path." "Can you imagine?" "I believe that one such needle must be worth a fortune." " Really?" " Lord Brasher came back from the East." "I'm sure that that's where he got them." "And you think that all this should be returned to the Kaiser's hands?" "This—?" "!" "I need to buy myself some time." " I must leave London." " And go where?" " I don't know." "Switzerland, perhaps." "There is one place, Mehringen." " My molecular physics teacher lives there." " Well, Holmes, you know that I will go with you." " Doctor, what time is it?" "Are we not late?" " No, we're fine." " No need to hide it, Doctor, I know you have a portrait of Mrs. Hudson in there." " Why do you always have to stick your nose into everything?" " It's my profession." "Mr. Holmes, am I mistaken or were you shooting indoors again last night?" "No, you're not mistaken." "Am I mistaken or has the milk gone off?" "Try it." "You are mistaken." "It's no wonder, after those chemical experiments you were carrying out the whole night." " I'll pour you another." " No need, we're late." "We still have a 40-minute drive to the station." "You are on your last warning." "That's what you said last time too." "Today," "Jupiter is in the sign of..." " Scorpio." " Mrs. Hudson?" " What's wrong?" " This is a bad day..." " ...for travelling." " What's wrong?" " What's the matter?" "Are you all right?" "Careful, careful, careful." " What's wrong?" "Mrs. Hudson?" " I think she should lie down." " Of course." "Come on, it's all right." "Hold onto me." "Careful, careful." " It's all right, I've got you, I've got you." " What is it, Doctor?" " I don't know." "Some kind of malaise." "Careful, careful!" "Doctor, I think you had better stay with Mrs. Hudson." " Fine, fine." "Wait, what about you?" " It'll be fine." "You'll come the day after tomorrow." " All right." "On the same train." "Doctor, I beg of you, listen carefully." " You must perform my instructions to the letter." "Do you hear me, Doctor?" " Yes." "Tomorrow, when you go the station, do not under any circumstances take the first or the second cab, take the third one." "I assure you," " you'll find the seat much more agreeable." " All right." "When you arrive at the station, try to do so right at the moment of the train's departure." "Do not leave the compartment until you reach the destination." "As soon as you arrive at Mehringen, take a cab to the hotel, "England", it'll be an hour's drive from the station." " Have you got all that, Doctor?" " Yes, yes, yes." "Repeat it to me." "The third cab." "do not leave the compartment," "Hotel, "England"." "God damn it." "Perhaps then to Paris?" "Maybe it'll be finished now." "Yes, you like that extremely vulgar steel giant thing." "And then to Vienna." " No, I prefer Rome." " Oh fine, to Rome, and then to Madrid, I want to see a corrida." " Oh, that horrible bloody barbarian spectacle." "You'll love it." " Oh, yes!" "And then to Lisbon, we'll take a ship." "And to Alexandria," " and we'll cross the desert on camels and arrive at Cape Town by the Red Sea." " No, no, no, no, to Macau, Macau!" " Sherlock, I want to go to Cape Town, please!" "Please." " Fine." "Drive, drive, drive!" "(German)" "Looks like we'll be placed in the same room." "Why?" "Are the other rooms all taken?" "No vacancies?" "You are the only ones in this hotel, but it's very expensive to heat several rooms." "We don't have any tourists except for you because the waterfall has frozen over and soon the road to it will be covered with snow." "Does the room have a view of the mountains?" "The mountains, of course." "It's fine, I'll do it." "Does it remind you of anything?" "That Paris tower." "But this is more beautiful." "I love the Alps." "Only here, in this calmness, is there always this strange sense of danger... hiding, and bordering on silence and harmony at the same time." "What shall we drink to?" "Sherlock, I..." "I..." "I've been waiting for a long time, Holmes." " Is Irene free?" " No, I've changed my mind." " Then you won't get anything." " I will get everything." "Holmes, you cannot even begin to imagine..." "No treasure in the world will bring me more joy than the pleasure of killing you." "Only you, Holmes." "Why don't we do it right now?" "Tomorrow." "At the Reichenbach falls." " You won't escape?" " Me?" "Sherlock?" " Mademoiselle, your companion asked to wake you up." "Your carriage is here and the train is in an hour and a half." " What train?" "To Paris." "He took your luggage and asked me to give you this." ""Irene, forgive me for this deception." "You must run, as soon as possible." "I left last night." "The meeting with Moriarty has been relocated." "When he realises that you are not with me he will hunt you down, so be quick." "You must catch the train to Paris." "I will be waiting for you there in three days, at noon, at the spot where we met." "If I do not come, do not wait for me." "Go along the route we discussed on the way to the hotel." "When you leave for the station, do not under any circumstances take the first or the second cab, only the third." "I assure you, you'll find the seat much more agreeable." "Do not worry about me, I will catch up with you in Madrid." "Or Lisbon." "Or Alexandria." "Yours, Sherlock."" "Welcome." "Come in." "How was the road?" "Mr. Holmes—" "(German)" " Mr. Holmes asked you..." " Yes?" " ...to wait until one o'clock, and if he is not back by then," "I should give you this letter." "Thank you." "Nine more minutes." "There's no duller a scene than a fight between two bespectacled men, eh, Mr. Holmes?" "Don't expect there to be thunder and lightning." "You chose a strange place." "I am a strange man myself, but I like it." "Did you bring what I need?" "What do you think?" "Your chronicler friend, Watson, has taught you a lot, but there is one thing he omitted:" "to kill with your own hands." "Herr Watson, if you want to look at the waterfall, it's up the footpath." ""Dear Watson," " if you are reading this letter, it means I am no longer alive."" " Sherlock!" "Sherlock!" "That's it." "Your time is up." "Remember I told you not to expect thunder and lightning?" "I was joking." ""Dear Watson, if you are reading this letter, it means I am no longer alive." "Yes, yes, I know it is an overused literary device, but I like it." "Of course, I am more likely alive than not, but just in case." "Forgive me for the silly trick with Mrs. Hudson." "I could not think of anything else that would keep you in London for a day." "Do you know why I chose Mehringen?" "I learned from the documents stolen from the Embassy that the hotel, "England", is a residence of the Kaiser, and all the employees— from the conductors at the station to the hotel workers— are his secret agents." "There is a chance that Moriarty will not escape." "By the way, do you remember the abbot who was travelling with us on the train back from the Brashers?" "As luck would have it, I met him again on the train here." "He told me a very intriguing parable about how Saint Tryphon explained the Trinity of God." "Tryphon took a brick, prayed, and the brick burst into flames." "Then water emerged from it, and in the hands of Tryphon there remained only clay." "And there it came to me." "Fire." "It creates, and it destroys that which has been created." "This is what will destroy the structure of the metal from which the needles are made." "I pushed them into a cork and set them alight." "Now you can return them to the Kaiser." "They are no longer dangerous." "Just give them to the conductor at the station." "Well, I think that is all." "Oh, yes, John, marry Mrs. Hudson." "Forget about propriety, you love her." "I have turned into a slobbering romantic." "How embarrassing it will be to look you in the eyes if I actually stay alive." "Yes, I think that is everything." "Your friend, Sherlock Holmes."" "John, this has surpassed my wildest imagination..." "I have no words." "Our sales have tripled." "When will the next story will be ready?" "No, no, I must be patient, I know creativity mustn't be rushed." "The thing is, listen, I have great news for you." "They decided to publish your collection." "You are victorious, John!" "Victorious!" "You see, the readers are leaving the Chronicle for Punch, can you believe it?" "Do not get hung up on this Holmes." "Start a new series, you can do it, you will succeed, I know it!" "**" "Why are you silent?" "When's the next story?" "Have you thought of a title?" "The title is important, very important, I cannot stress this enough, the title is imperative, do you understand?" "Understand?" "Holmes' Last Case" "*Reviser's note 1:" "The German anthem sung by Adler at the Embassy is not a mistake." "It is called 'Heil dir im Siegerkranz' and was the official national anthem of the German Empire from 1871 to 1918." "The tune is the same as that of 'God Save the Queen' because that song was one of the first successful national anthems, and so other countries, including Germany, subsequently wrote similar anthems using the tune." "**Reviser's note 2:" "It was the director's intention to film a spin-off series centering on Watson during Holmes' hiatus, where he would meet Professor Challenger, another one of Conan Doyle's characters." "Sadly, this plan dissipated after Andrei Panin's death." "Perhaps the Editor's line about a "new series" was an allusion to Conan Doyle's Professor Challenger series."