"A SILVER WATCH AND FIVE DOLLARS IN COIN OF THE REALM..." "FOR EVERY SOUTHERN SETTLER WHO WILL LEAVE HERE..." "FOR THE RICH AND FERTILE PLAINS OF KANSAS." "THE SOUTH NEEDS YOUR VOTE." "WE WANT NO FIVE-DOLLAR VOTERS." "WE WANT NO SILVER-WATCH SETTLERS." "WE WANT TO PEOPLE KANSAS WITH GOOD, HARDWORKING, NORTHERN FARMERS." "[ Man Screaming ]" "THERE YA ARE, SIR." "AS MEAN A MOLAR AS EVER I DID SEE." "GIVE ME TWO DOLLARS AND WE CALL IT SQUARE." "WHAT DO YOU SAY?" "[ Mumbles ] ALL RIGHT." "MUST'VE HIT YOU PRETTY HARD TO LOOSEN UP THAT TOOTH." "WHAT'S THE TROUBLE?" "I SAID PRESIDENT PIERCE WAS A POLECAT." "WHICH HE IS!" "THEN HE POPPED ME." "JUST WAIT TILL I GET HIM IN KANSAS." "DON'T BLAME YOU IN A BIT." "ARE YOU A DENTIST?" "AM I A DENTIST?" "MY FRIEND, YOU'RE LOOKING DIRECTLY AT THE BEST DENTIST WEST OF THE MISSISSIPPI." "WHAT SEEMS TO BE YOUR TROUBLE?" "BIG FELLA BACK THERE BELTED ME ON THE MOUTH." "RIGHT IN THE CHAIR." "RIGHT IN THERE." "SIT DOWN THERE." "NOTHIN' ABOUT PIERCE, I HOPE." "WHY, YEAH." "WHO TOLD YOU?" "[ Chattering ] EXCUSE ME, PARTNER." "I DON'T WANT NO TROUBLE WITH YOU, MISTER." "JUST LEAVE ME BE." "I'M MINDIN' MY OWN BUSINESS." "YOU MIND YOURS." "STRANGER, I AIN'T A-CARIN' WHOSE WAGON YOU'RE FIXIN'." "WASN'T TALKIN' TO YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE." "BUT IN THE SECOND PLACE, I STILL THINK WE CAN DO WITH A BETTER PRESIDENT." "SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?" "WELL, ALL RIGHT, MISTER." "YOU ASKED FOR IT." "[ Women Shrieking ]" "RIGHT AFTER THE MEXICAN WAR, MY WIFE SAYS TO ME, SHE SAYS," ""ANDREW, YOU KNOW WHAT THIS COUNTRY NEEDS? "" "I SAYS, "NO, WHAT'S IT NEED? " SHE SAYS, "NEEDS MORE DENTISTS. "" "WELL, IT DID, SO I BECOME A DENTIST." "SAY "AH. "" "AH!" "THERE WE ARE." "HEY, WE AIN'T DOIN' BAD." "MADE $34 LAST THREE DAYS." "WELL, I CAN'T GO AROUND POPPING PEOPLE ALL MY LIFE." "AND AM I ASKIN' YA TO?" "WHO WERE YA WHEN I MET YA?" "NOBODY." "STANDING AROUND IN TEXAS." "WANTIN' TO TRAVEL AND SEE THE COUNTRY." "WELL, YOU'RE SEEIN' IT, AIN'T YA?" "YEAH, AND I AIN'T LIKIN' IT." "YOU TOLD ME I'D SEE MOUNTAINS AND OCEANS." "THIS COUNTRY AIN'T NO DIFFERENT THAN TEXAS." "AIN'T AS GOOD." "I KNOW, BUT TRAVEL COSTS MONEY, SON." "YOU SAYIN' I AIN'T EARNIN' IT?" "NO, I'M NOT COMPLAININ'." "YOU KNOCK 'EM LOOSE." "I PULL 'EM OUT." "MAYBE" " I'M JUST SAYIN' MAYBE, YOU KNOW" "IF YOU WAS MORE PROMISCUOUS WITH YOUR PUNCHIN'," "WE MIGHT MAKE A LITTLE MORE MONEY." "WHAT YOU MEAN, "PROMISCUOUS"?" "WELL, YOU GOT STRANGE IDEAS ABOUT JUSTICE." "DON'T WANNA HIT NOBODY UNLESS THEY DESERVE IT." "NOW THAT'S ALL RIGHT." "BUT WE'RE IN BUSINESS." "BUSINESS IS DIFFERENT." "I DON'T KNOW, DOC." "YOU'RE GONNA LOSE YOURSELF A PARTNER UNLESS WE GET OUT OF THIS TERRITORY PRETTY QUICK." "'CAUSE I AIM TO SEE THEM MOUNTAINS YOU WERE TALKIN' ABOUT." "YOU GOT A MEMORY LIKE AN ELEPHANT." "GIDDYAP." "BITE OF TATER, DOC?" "CAN'T." "BREAK MY PLATE." "GIDDYAP." "WHOA!" "WHERE DO I FIND YOUR CAMPING GROUNDS, MISTER?" "EDGE OF TOWN, JUST PAST THE SCHOOLHOUSE." "MUCH OBLIGED." "HYAH!" "?" "LAND WHERE MY FATHERS DIED?" "?" "?" "LAND OF THE?" "?" "?" "PILGRIMS' PRIDE?" "?" "DOC?" "YEAH." "?" "FROM EVERY MOUNTAINSIDE?" "?" "HEAR THAT?" "SURE, PRETTY." "GIVES ME THE GOOSE PIMPLES." "SICK?" "NO, JUST PROUD." "HELLO." "WOULD YOU MIND MOVING?" "I'D LIKE TO GET THROUGH." "I SAID, WOULD YOU MIND MOVING?" "I'D LIKE TO GET THROUGH." "OH, EXCUSE ME, MA'AM, BUT I AIN'T HAD A CHANCE TO HEAR SUCH PRETTY SINGIN'..." "IN A LONG TIME." "YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT, BUT MUSIC DOES SOMETHING TO ME." "THAT KIND OF MUSIC." "WHY, I CAN REMEMBER-- THAT'S ALL VERY INTERESTING," "BUT ARE YOU GOING TO MOVE THIS WAGON, OR SHALL I HAVE IT MOVED FOR YOU?" "YOU KNOW, DOC, ALL THEM STORIES WE'VE BEEN HEARING ABOUT KANSAS MUST BE TRUE." "EVEN THE WOMENFOLK THINK NOTHING OF THREATENING STRANGERS IN THE OPEN." " GOOD MORNING, MISS McCLOUD." " GOOD MORNING, MR. CANTRELL." "WOULD YOU BE GOOD ENOUGH TO ASKHIMTO GET OUT OF THE WAY?" "HE'S SO ENCHANTED WITH YOUR MUSIC CLASS, HE REFUSES TO MOVE." "YOUR INTEREST IS VERY GRATIFYING, SIR." "FIRST TIME OUR SINGING LESSONS HAVE EVER HELD UP TRAFFIC." "IF YOU'D CARE TO, WE'D BE DELIGHTED TO HAVE YOU JOIN US." "THANK YOU, MISTER." "IN THAT CASE, I RECKON WE'LL MOVE ON." "GIDDY OUT OF THERE." "BEAUTIFULLY DONE, MR. CANTRELL." "YOU CERTAINLY KNOW HOW TO SAY THE RIGHT THING AT THE RIGHT TIME." "EXCEPT WHERE YOU'RE CONCERNED." "OH, WELL, YOU'VE HELD ME SPEECHLESS WITH YOUR ELOQUENCE." "THAT'S JUST WHAT I'M COMPLAINING OF." "I WANT TO LEAVE YOU WITH JUST ENOUGH SPEECH TO SAY ONE WORD," "BUT YOU NEVER DO." "MAYBE I SHOULD CHANGE MY TACTICS." "YOU THINK I'D SAY YES AT THE POINT OF A GUN?" "IF I THOUGHT YOU WOULD, I'D BE ARMED TO THE TEETH." "OH, THEN YOU'D SCARE ME TO DEATH." "I'M GOIN' INTO TOWN TO RENT AN OFFICE." "TAKE ABOUT A MONTH, THE WAY I FIGURE, TO FIX ALL THE TEETH IN THIS TOWN." "OF COURSE, THAT'S NOT COUNTIN' THE ONES YOU'LL SEND IN." "THEN WE'RE HEADIN' WEST-- CALIFORNIA AND MOUNTAINS." "NO HURRY, DOC." "TAKE YOUR TIME." "I WANNA LOOK THIS COUNTRY OVER GOOD." "WELL, IF YOU AIN'T THE CONTRARIEST CRITTER I'VE EVER SEEN." "WILL YOU PUT THAT GUN AWAY?" "NO, SIR, I WILL NOT." "I WON'T WARN YOU AGAIN." "NOW PUT THAT GUN AWAY." "GIVE ME THAT GUN, I SAY." "NO, SIR, I'M OVER 21-- BOYS, BOYS, PLEASE." "DON'T YOU RAISE YOUR VOICE TO ME, YOUNG SCALLAWAG, HAVE YOU NO RESPECT FOR YOUR FATHER?" "NOW GIVE ME THAT GUN." "WELL, I'M GETTIN' TIRED OF BEING TREATED LIKE A KID." "MARY!" "ELLIE!" "ELLIE!" "DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT COST?" "ELLIE, TAKE UP THE CARPETS AND LET'S HAVE PLENTY OF SAWDUST ON THE FLOOR." "AND ALSO SEVERAL CUSPIDORS." "NOW LET ME SEE." "OH, YES, WE CAN PUT THE BEER BARRELS OVER THERE AND A BAR WHERE THE PIANO IS." "OH, AND THERE I WANT A LARGE PICTURE OF DANCING NYMPHS." "BUT BE SURE AND KEEP THIS SPACE CLEAR FOR BRAWLING PURPOSES." "WHAT ARE YOU RAVING ABOUT?" "BOTH YOU AND FLETCH ACT LIKE YOU'RE IN A SALOON," "SO I JUST THOUGHT I'D MAKE YOU FEEL AT HOME, DAD." "I'M SORRY, DEAR." "WELL, GO ON, APOLOGIZE TO YOUR SISTER FOR MAKING A DEPLORABLE SCENE." "I'M SORRY, SIS." "ALL RIGHT, ELLIE, YOU MAY GO." "BUT DON'T FORGET THE SAWDUST, JUST IN CASE." "NOW WHAT'S ALL THIS YELLING ABOUT A GUN, ANYWAY?" "THE HOT-TEMPERED YOUNG FOOL MUST CARRY A GUN BECAUSE THE PLACE SWARMS WITH YANKEES," "AND HE WANTS TO GET INTO TROUBLE." "LISTEN, SIS." "I'M OLD ENOUGH" "[ Shouting ] STOP YELLING AT ME!" "A SOUTHERNER NEVER RAISES HIS VOICE!" "[ Clears Throat ] [ Quietly ] NEVER." "THAT'S RIGHT, DEAR." "FOLLOW YOUR FATHER'S EXAMPLE." "HE NEVER FORGETS HIMSELF." "WELL, I'M GONNA TOTE A GUN, AND NO ONE'S GONNA TAKE IT AND OFFEN ME." "FLETCH McCLOUD, WHERE IN THE WORLD DID YOU PICK UP SUCH LANGUAGE?" ""TOTE, " "OFFEN. " GIVE ME THAT GUN." "A COWBOY CAME THROUGH TOWN ONE DAY, AND HE GOT BIG IDEAS." "HE'S BEEN WANTING TO TOTE-- CARRYA GUN EVER SINCE." "FLETCH, I JUST SAW A RUFFIAN WITH A GUN." "HE WAS NO MATCH FOR WILL CANTRELL, WHO MERELY USED HIS BRAIN." "YES, BUT-- OH, HUSH." "NOW, NOT ANOTHER WORD OUT OF YOU." "GO ALONG." "STOP AGGRAVATING YOUR FATHER." "OH, DAD, I WONDER IF YOU'D LET ME-- NO!" "YOU TWO" " SHAME ON YOU." "IF I WEREN'T AROUND, YOU'D BE AT EACH OTHER'S THROATS ALL DAY." "WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WHEN I GET MARRIED?" "DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT US." "DID CANTRELL ASK YOU TO MARRY HIM?" "UH-HUH." "GOOD, SPLENDID." "I DIDN'T SAY I'D ACCEPTED HIM, NOW, DID I?" "OH, HE'S A SMART MAN, MARY." "AMBITIOUS, HARD WORKER." "BE A BIG MAN SOMEDAY." "I LIKE A LITTLE ONE I CAN BOSS AROUND." "OH, NO, NO, NO." "I'M SERIOUS." "HE'D MAKE A GOOD HUSBAND FOR YOU, THAT LAD." "HIS GRANDFATHER WAS SCOTCH." "I WOULDN'T THINK OF GETTING MARRIED UNTIL YOU AND FLETCH ARE OLD ENOUGH TO STOP FIGHTING." "THE CARRIAGE IS READY, SIR." "THANK YOU, TOM." "I'M GONNA BE IN DODGE CITY FOR ABOUT A WEEK." "IF I COULD KNOW YOU'LL TAKE CANTRELL, I COULD BUY YOU A HANDSOME WEDDING PRESENT." "WHAT ARE YOU, A BANKER OR A MATCHMAKER?" "THERE YOU ARE, SIR." "HA!" "SMOOTH AS A BABY'S..." "LEG." "YOUR HONOR, THEM'S THE KINDEST WORDS I'VE HEARD FROM A JUDGE IN YEARS." "MOSTLY THEY SAY, "THIRTY DAYS. "" "MY FRIEND, YOU MAY PAINT A SHAVING MUG WITH THE NAME "JUDGE BUCKNER"..." "AND COUNT UPON ME AS A STEADY PATRON NOW THAT YOU'RE ESTABLISHED." "TWO BITS." "OH, TUT, TUT, TUT." "I SHALL SETTLE WITH YOU WEEKLY." "OR, PERHAPS, MONTHLY." "YOU'LL SUM UP MY ACCOUNT-- I BEG YOUR PARDON, MADAM." "HE'S AN EXCELLENT SHAVE, MADAM." "OH, I'M SORRY, MADAM." "GOOD MORNING, MA'AM." "I WISH TO HAVE A TOOTH PULLED." "YES, MA'AM." "WILL YOU BE SEATED, PLEASE?" "THERE YA ARE." "WHAT'S THIS?" "IMBIBE, MADAM, OR SUFFER." "I DO NOT IMBIBE." "VERY WELL, MA'AM." "NOW, IF YOU'LL KINDLY PLACE YOUR RIGHT KNEE AGAINST MY CHEST." "WHY, I'VE NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A THING IN MY LIFE." "I'LL TELL MY HUSBAND." "JUST FOR LEVERAGE, MA'AM." "JUST FOR LEVERAGE." "[ Screams ]" "SAY "AH. " THERE WE ARE." "AH!" "I TAKE A SHORT TRIP OUT OF TOWN, AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENS." "FOUR KILLINGS IN A WEEK." "IT'S GOT TO STOP." "FOUR?" "DID YOU SAY FOUR?" "THAT'S RIGHT, FOUR!" "WELL, WE'RE GETTING TO BE QUITE A TOWN, AREN'T WE?" "I DOUBT IF THEY HAVE THAT MANY IN DODGE CITY." "NO, I DON'T THINK SO." "WE AIM TO COMPETE WITH ANY CITY IN SIZE, BUT NOT IN LAWLESSNESS." "CERTAINLY, OF COURSE, FOUR KILLINGS IS OUTRAGEOUS." "THE JUDGE WAS SAYING, MR. McCLOUD, BEFORE YOU CAME," "THAT THE APPOINTMENT OF A MARSHAL IS OBVIOUSLY IN ORDER." "IF I CAN FIND THE RIGHT MAN." "I HAVE A NEPHEW." "HE'S A FINE, UPSTANDING YOUNG MAN WHO" "WHO YOU'D LIKE TO SEE ON THE CITY PAYROLL." "WELL, THE MAN WE NEED MUST BE HONEST," "MUST HAVE COURAGE, KNOW HOW TO HANDLE MEN." "HAVE YOU ANY SUGGESTIONS?" "WAIT NOW, THERE'S MY NEPHEW." "HE'S OUT!" "WE REALLY FELT, MR. McCLOUD," "THAT YOU'D PROBABLY MAKE A NOMINATION." "GENTLEMEN, I THINK I KNOW THE VERY MAN." "LOOK OUT FOR THE RUTS, WILL." ""LOOK OUT FOR THE RUTS. "" "THERE YOU HAVE THE STORY OF MY LIFE." "ONLY I NEVER DID LOOK OUT." "ALWAYS BEEN IN ONE." "LOOK AT ME NOW-- A SCHOOLTEACHER." "WHERE'S THAT GOING TO GET ME?" "WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO?" "I THINK I COULD GO CLEAR TO THE TOP IF I THOUGHT YOU'D BE THERE WAITING." "WHY NOT GO TO THE TOP ANYWAY, JUST FOR THE CLIMB AND THE VIEW?" " [ Chattering ]" " ALL RIGHT." "I'M FROM TENNESSEE." "WHAT OF IT?" "WE AIN'T WANTIN' PEOPLE AROUND HERE WHO SELL THEIR VOTES." "I DON'T HAVE TO SELL MINE." "I GOT A BUSINESS OF MY OWN." "SMART ALECK, HUH?" "WHAT DO YOU SAY, BOYS, WE GIVE HIM A LIFT OUT OF TOWN?" "TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF OF HIM." "WHO MIGHT YOU BE?" "NOTHIN' TO YOU." "I JUST SAID, KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF." "YOU TALK MIGHTY BIG FOR ONE MAN." "WHAT RIGHT DO YOU GOT TO BUTT INTO THIS?" "I'LL TELL YA, YA PACK OF COYOTES." "A MAN BORN IN THIS COUNTRY IS AN AMERICAN." "DON'T FORGET THAT." "IT'S HIS RIGHT TO..." "GO WHERE HE PLEASES, AND IT'S MY BUSINESS TO" "COME ON, MARY." "HIT HIM IN THE TEETH, BOB, IN THE TEETH." "LET ME GIVE YOU A HAND, MISTER." "THANKS." "WHERE'D YOU COME FROM?" " BEEN FOLLOWIN' YOU AROUND ALL MORNIN'." " WHAT FOR?" "YOU'RE A COWBOY, AIN'T YA?" "YEP." "FROM TEXAS." "WHY?" "AH!" "SURE, THAT'S THE WAY IT IS." "THEM DOGGIES ARE THE BOLDEST I EVER RODE HERD ON." "IT'S LIKE SOMETIMES OUT ON THE RANGE AFTER YOU GOT THE HERD BEDDED DOWN" "[ Man Groaning ] THAT'S MY TONGUE." "MY MISTAKE." "EVER HAD YOUR TOOTH PULLED?" "NO, ALL GOOD." "YOU'RE LUCKY." "SAY, YOU REALLY BUSTED THAT KNUCKLE, DIDN'T YA?" "OH, IT AIN'T NOTHIN'." "NO, I'VE HAD LOTS OF 'EM." "HERE'S WHAT I ALWAYS USE." "THANKS, BUT YOU AIN'T TOLD ME IF I'D GO OUT ON THE RANGE," "WHAT'S THE FIRST THING THEY'RE GONNA ASK ME?" "FOR CHEWIN' TOBACCO, MOST LIKELY." "THERE'S SOMETHING I WANTED TO ASK YOU." "ME?" "YEAH." "YOU KNOW THAT GIRL I WAS STARING AT WHEN ALL THE RUCKUS STARTED" "YEAH." "WELL, WHO IS SHE?" "WELL, HER NAME IS MARY McCLOUD." "WHY?" "WELL, I'LL TELL YA." "I THINK MAYBE I'LL MARRY HER." "WHAT?" "OF COURSE, IF SHE'LL HAVE ME." "I MEAN," "A FELLA WOULDN'T WANT TO MARRY ANYONE THAT DIDN'T WANT HIM, NATURALLY." "OH, NATURALLY." "YOU KNOW HER WELL?" "NO, JUST SEEN HER ONCE OR TWICE." "ONCE SHE WAS ON A HORSE." "THE NEXT TIME SHE WAS WITH A JACKASS." "HE IS, HUH?" "MAKES IT EASIER, DON'T IT?" "PRACTICALLY A CINCH." "YOU DO THINGS KINDA SUDDEN, DON'T YA?" "NO, NOT EXACTLY." "BUT, YOU SEE, I GOT HER FIGURED OUT THIS WAY." "IF YOU LIKE SOMEONE AND YOU DON'T TELL 'EM RIGHT OFF," "WHY, MAYBE ALL THAT TIME YOU WASTED, SHE LIKED YOU, TOO," "SO, WELL, ALL THAT TIME'S WASTED, AIN'T IT?" "IT IS, THE WAY YOU PUT IT." "HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO GO ABOUT THIS?" "OH, YES." "GLAD YOU MENTIONED THAT." "UH, I FIGURED THAT IF YOU WAS TO TAKE ME OVER TO HER..." "AND GIVE ME AN INTRODUCE, THEN I COULD TELL HER WHO I WAS AND THAT I NEVER MURDERED NOBODY," "AND YOU COULD GO SOMEWHERE AND SIT ON A FENCE TILL I WAS THROUGH." "I'M SURE YOU WON'T BE LONG." "WELL, COME ON, I THINK SHE'S OVER AT THE BANK." "I FORGOT TO ASK YOU YOUR NAME." "FLETCH." "MINE'S SETON." "BOB SETON." "YOU GOT A FIRST NAME?" "YEAH." "CUPID." "HE'S A REAL COWBOY." "FROM TEXAS." "THIS IS HER FATHER'S BANK." "OWNS A BANK, HUH?" "WHAT DO YOU KNOW?" "HE DON'T LIKE COWBOYS EITHER." "I CAN TELL YOU THAT." "YEAH, I KNOW THE BREED-- STRING-HOLLERED AND SPAVINED." "SQUEEZE THE BLOOD OUT OF A TURNIP." "KEEP YOUR CHIN TO YOURSELF." "HUH?" "I MEAN, YOU WAIT HERE, AND I'LL GO BRING HER." "FAIR ENOUGH." "I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS MY APPRECIATION, MR. McCLOUD." "I SUPPOSE IT WILL BE LEFT TO A VOTE, HUH?" "NATURALLY." "THERE WILL BE OTHER CANDIDATES THROWING THEIR HATS IN THE RING," "BUT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HAVE ANY TROUBLE WINNIN'." "I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT." "FLETCH, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?" "WHERE ARE YOU DRAGGING ME?" "FRIEND OF MINE HERE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU." "[ Squeals ]" "YOU, UH, WANTED TO TALK TO ME?" "UH, YES, THAT'S SORT OF THE IDEA." "WELL-- UH" "DID THE SQUIRT TELL YOU WHO I WAS?" "WHO?" "THE KID, CUPID." "AIN'T THAT A NAME FOR YOU?" "[ Chuckles ] YOU KNOW, HIM THAT WENT IN AND ASKED FOR YOU." "MY BROTHER, YOU MEAN." "YEAH." "HE AND I" "YOUR WHAT?" "MY BROTHER." "WHO DID YOU THINK HE WAS?" "WELL-- YOUR BROTHER." "YES." "YOU SEE THE FIGHT?" "NO." "WE LOST..." "ALMOST." "WAS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO TALK TO ME ABOUT?" "WELL, NOT EXACTLY." "THAT IS" " NO." "THEN WHAT WAS IT?" "WELL, UH, DID HE SAY ANYTHING TO YOU..." "ABOUT ANYTHING I'D SAID TO HIM?" "MY BROTHER, YOU MEAN?" "YES." "NO." "HE DIDN'T?" "NO." "WELL" "BACK THERE IN THE OFFICE, I HAD THIS ALL FIGURED OUT." "OUT THERE ON THE PRAIRIE, IT SEEMED EASY." "YOU GOT BLUE EYES." "I BEG YOUR PARDON." "YES, SIR, BLUE EYES." "OH, LET'S SEE NOW." "WHERE WAS I?" "BOB SETON, FROM TEXAS." "MA DIED WHEN I WAS NINE YEARS OLD, AND ABOUT EIGHT MONTHS AGO" "I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU SAY, MR. McCLOUD." "AND, ONCE AGAIN, THANK YOU VERY MUCH." "GOOD LUCK TO YA." "WHERE'S MARY?" "SHE WENT ACROSS THE STREET TO BUY A SPOOL OF THREAD." "OH, WELL, I'LL GO-- I WOULDN'T DO THAT, IF I WAS YOU, MR. CANTRELL." "SHE ALWAYS GETS A LITTLE FIDGETY WHEN SHE'S BUYING A SPOOL OF THREAD OR SOMETHING." "DAD, YOU TELL HIM ABOUT ME GOIN' TO BE A COWBOY." "GO AHEAD AND TELL HIM." "THAT'S THE ONLY TIME I WAS EVER IN JAIL, AND IT WAS THE OTHER FELLA'S FAULT." "I WAS DRUNK." "DRINKING, OF COURSE, CONSTITUTING NO CRIME." "MA'AM?" "I SAID, DRINKING, OF COURSE, CONSTITUTING NO CRIME." "I'M GONNA LEARN BIG WORDS MYSELF SOMEDAY." "NOW LOOK, I'VE LISTENED TO YOU VERY PATIENTLY." "I'VE HEARD YOU WHOLE LIFE'S HISTORY." "I KNOW WHAT TO DO FOR CATTLE WHO'VE EATEN TOO MANY LOCO WEEDS," "WHY SULPHUR IN MOLASSES ISN'T AS GOOD AS PEOPLE THINK IT IS..." "AND A THOUSAND OTHER THINGS THAT I'VE FORGOTTEN ALREADY." "NOW WILL YOU PLEASE GET TO THE POINT AND TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT?" "I WANT TO MARRY YOU." "YOU WHAT?" "WELL, I AIN'T GOT NO JOB RIGHT NOW, BUT I FIGURE TO GET ONE." "OUTSIDE OF A SNORT OF HOOCH NOW AND THEN, I GOT NO BAD HABITS." "I'D SAY ASKING PERFECT STRANGERS TO MARRY YOU IS-IS A VERY BAD HABIT!" "YOU LOOKIN' FOR SOMEONE, MA'AM?" "YES!" "SURELY THEY DON'T LET YOU OUT ALONE, DO THEY?" "WE GOT A SAYIN' DOWN IN TEXAS THAT A FELLA DOESN'T GET ANYPLACE UNLESS HE TRIES." "WELL, YOU MIGHT AS WELL GIVE UP TRYING, BECAUSE IT'S NOT GONNA HELP YOU." "WE GOT ANOTHER SAYING IN TEXAS-- YES, YES, I'M SURE YOU HAVE." "GOOD-BYE." "THAT'LL BE FOUR AND A HALF." "TWO FOR THE TOOTH, TWO AND A HALF FOR THE WHISKEY." "YOU GOT ANOTHER SWIG COMIN'." "I AIN'T GOT CASH." "MAYBE YOU COULD TAKE IT IN TRADE." "OH, I WAS AFRAID OF THAT." "I PULLED TEETH IN BOSTON ONCE FOR A YEAR." "PRACTICALLY LIVED ON BEANS." "GOT SOME STUFF OUTSIDE THAT BEATS MONEY IN THE BANK IN THIS TERRITORY." "WAGONLOAD OF GUNS." "AND THEY'D HAVE BEEN TOOKEN AWAY FROM ME," "IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR THAT YOUNG FRIEND OF YOURS." "AIN'T LEGAL TO RUN GUNS." "YOU KNOW THAT." "WHAT'S LEGAL AND WHAT AIN'T?" "WHY, THESE TOWNS AIN'T GO NO MARSHALS." "YOU NEEDIN' A PARTNER, MISTER?" "MM, MAYBE." "NO, YOU DON'T." "OH, NO, YOU DON'T." "HE GOT HIT IN THAT FIGHT." "HE DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S SAYIN'." "LISTEN, SON" "HOW ABOUT IT?" "YOU CAN'T, BOB." "I'M SICK OF THIS HERE CITY LIFE." "FELLA CAN'T GO AROUND DOIN' NOTHIN' ALL THE TIME." "YEAH, I COULD MAKE A GOOD GUNRUNNER OUTTA YOU." "OVER MY DEAD BODY." "DOC'S RIGHT, SON." "GUNRUNNING'S NOT FOR YOUR KIND." "YOU AIN'T A WRECKER, BOY." "YOU'RE A BUILDER." "DOC'S RIGHT AGAIN." "YOU'RE THE KIND THIS COUNTRY NEEDS." "[ Chuckles ]" "SUPPOSE IT SOUNDS FUNNY, FOR AN OLD LAW-BREAKING COOT LIKE ME TO TALK PATRIOTISM." "WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN THAT WHISKEY, STARS AND STRIPES?" "I'LL GIVE YOU COUPLE GUNS." "SHUCKS, YOU DON'T OWE ME NOTHIN'." "GIVE YOUR TOOTH BACK FOR A SOUVENIR, IF YOU LIKE." "NO, GIVE IT TO THE KID." "SOMEDAY WHEN HE SEES ME STRUNG UP AT THE END OF A ROPE," "HE'LL REMEMBER I GAVE HIM SOME GOOD ADVICE." "GOOD-BYE, GENTLEMEN." "GOOD-BYE." "WHAT IS IT, BOB?" "COME ON, SON, WHAT'S WRONG?" "STILL YEARNIN' FOR THEM MOUNTAINS, DOC." "OH-OH." "WHAT'S HER NAME?" "MARY MC" "SAY, THERE'S NO GIRL MIXED UP IN THIS." "SAME ONE WE MET COMING INTO TOWN?" "HER?" "SHE MAKES ME SICK." "YOU KNOW WHAT?" "WHY, DOWN IN TEXAS, THEY'D LAUGH HER OUT OF TOWN." "SHE DON'T KNOW HER OWN MIND, THAT FEMALE." "FELLA CAN'T EXPECT TO WIN A WOMAN UNLESS HE DOES SOMETHING WORTHWHILE." "BET HER OLD MAN CHEATS EVERYBODY IN TOWN." "SEE THAT POSTER?" "YEAH." "WHAT DOES IT SAY?" "SAYS THEY'RE LOOKING FOR A NEW MARSHAL." "IT DOES, HUH?" "YOU KNOW, BOB, YOU COULD MAKE SOMETHING OUT OF YOURSELF IF YOU TRIED." "YEAH?" "YEAH." "YOU COULD RUN FOR MARSHAL." "ME BE MARSHAL?" "ARE YOU LOCO?" "WELL, YOU COULD TRY." "BETTER FOR A YOUNG FELLA LIKE YOU TO BE WORKIN'WITH UNCLE SAM THAN AGIN' HIM." "I CAN'T READ OR WRITE." "YOU KNOW THAT." "LISTEN, YOU DON'T READ AND WRITE A MAN INTO JAIL." "MARSHAL'S GOTTA KNOW SOMETHING." "HE'S GOTTA HAVE PAPERS ON HIS DESK AND THINGS." "SON, THERE'S A SCHOOL DOWN THE OTHER STREET WHERE THEY CAN LEARN..." "ANYBODY TO READ AND WRITE." "THEY GOT LITTLE KIDS THERE AIN'T THAT HIGH..." "READIN' AND WRITIN' JUST AS PRETTY AS ANYTHING YOU EVER SEEN." "NOW, IF I WAS YOU" "YOU'RE YOUNG, MR. SETON." "NEVER TOO LATE TO LEARN." "LOOK KINDA FUNNY, WON'T IT?" "ME SITTIN' THERE AMONG ALL THEM KIDS?" "YEAH, WELL, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT." "YOU AND I WILL DO OUR STUDYING IN THE EVENINGS." "NOBODY'LL KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT." "[ Woman ] WILL!" "OH, WILL!" "YOU'RE A PRETTY REGULAR FELLA." "THANKS." "UH" " TELL ME" "YOU SAY YOU CAN'T WRITE?" "MAKE BRANDS ON COWS IS ABOUT ALL." "TRIED TO WRITE WITH INK ONCE." "LOOKED LIKE AN EASTER EGG FOR A WEEK." "OH, WILL, YOUR SUP" "YOUR SUPPER'S READY, MR. CANTRELL." "THIS IS MY HOUSEKEEPER, MRS. ADAMS." "ELIZABETH, THIS IS MR. SETON." "PLEASED TO MEET YOU, MA'AM." "OH, I'M KEEPIN' YOU FROM YOUR SUPPER." "THERE'S NO GREAT HURRY." "YOU WERE SAYING THAT" "OH, YES." "SAME WAY ABOUT SPELLING." "WHEN I TRY, PEOPLE LAUGH." "CALL ME "SHORTCUT" DOWN HOME." "WHAT?" "YOU SEE, I SPELL 'EM LIKE THEY SOUND." "YOU KNOW, BACON" " B-A-K-- SCRUB" " S-K-R" "WELL, GO ON AND LAUGH." "NO OFFENSE, I ASSURE YOU." "TELL ME, WHY THIS SUDDEN AMBITION?" "IS IT BECAUSE YOU WANNA LEARN?" "DON'T MIND IF I DO." "FACT IS, I'M GONNA BE MARSHAL OF THIS TOWN." "OH, INDEED." "WELL, YOU DON'T SEEM VERY HAPPY ABOUT IT." "WELL, SHOULD I BE?" "I'M RUNNING FOR THE OFFICE MYSELF." "OH, AIN'T THAT ONE FOR YA?" "HERE I JUST GET TO LIKIN' YA," "AND NOW I GOTTA BEAT YA OUT OF THAT JOB." "DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD COMPANY, WILL." "OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT, MA." "PAY NO MIND TO HIS BRAGGIN', WILL." "HE AIN'T HAD NO MORE LEARNIN' THAN I HAVE." "YOU'LL BE ELECTED." "IT'S NOT HIM I'M WORRYING ABOUT, MA." "IT'S YOU." "I'M SICK OF THIS PRETENSE-- MRS. ADAMS, MY HOUSEKEEPER." "EVERY TIME I SAY IT, THE LIE STICKS IN MY THROAT." "I'M NOT ASHAMED OF YOU." "I KNOW YOU AIN'T." "THERE'S PLENTY OF FOLKS IN LAWRENCE THAT MAKE YOU ASHAMED OR TRY TO." "AND I DON'T AIM TO LET 'EM." "LEAVE THINGS BE, WILL." "I AIN'T COMPLAININ'." "YOU WOULDN'T COMPLAIN IF THEY BOILED YOU IN OIL," "AS LONG AS YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD HELP ME." "IT'S NO USE, MA." "IT WON'T WORK." "I'M GOING TO SEND YOU BACK TO OHIO." "I WON'T GO, WILL." "WE COME OUT HERE TOGETHER, AND I'M STAYIN'." "ALL RIGHT." "LET'S SEE HOW THINGS ARE AFTER THE BALLOTS ARE COUNTED." "BUT IF I'M BEATEN BY THAT COWHAND, I'M THROUGH WITH BOOKS AND TEACHING." "I'M GONNA BURN EVERY BOOK IN THIS HOUSE." "I'M GOING TO THE TOP IF I HAVE TO GO OVER THE BODIES OF-- WILL!" "QUIT THAT WILD TALK." "THAT'S HOW YOUR PA SPOKE BEFORE HE" "DON'T FORGET." "I'VE GOT SOME OF HIS BLOOD IN MY VEINS TOO." "[ Crowd Cheering ]" "THANK YOU, MY FRIENDS." "I HAVE TALKED A LOT ABOUT MYSELF," "AND YOU HAVE BEEN MOST INDULGENT." "NOW, THEN, I WANT TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT MR. SETON, MY OPPONENT." "YOU WILL OBSERVE THAT I SAY "ABOUT" AND NOT "AGAINST, "" "BECAUSE I KNOW NOTHING AGAINST MR. SETON," "NEITHER AS MY OPPONENT NOR AS MY PUPIL." "[ Crowd Laughing ] MY MOST PROMISING PUPIL." "WITHIN THE HOUR, YOU WILL GO TO THE POLLS," "AND YOU WILL ELECT EITHER MR. SETON OR MYSELF." "IF YOU ELECT HIM, YOU WILL GET A MAN WHO IS HONEST." "AND, MY FRIENDS, MR. SETON IS A MAN OF COURAGE." "PLENTY OF COURAGE." "BUT HONESTY AND COURAGE ARE NOT ENOUGH." "TODAY, MORE THAN EVER BEFORE, A PUBLIC OFFICE CALLS FOR KNOWLEDGE." "YOU MUST KNOW LAW AND HOW TO APPLY IT." "AND THAT, MY FRIENDS, CALLS FOR INTENSIVE STUDY," "TO WHICH, AS YOU ALL KNOW, I HAVE DEVOTED MANY YEARS." "OUR TOWN HAS GROWN TO A SIZE WHERE WE NEED A MARSHAL." "BE SURE YOU ELECT A MAN WHO CAN GROW WITH THE TOWN." "THANK YOU." "[ Cheering ]" "AND NOW, FRIENDS, I PRESENT MR. CANTRELL'S OPPONENT." "HE CALLS HIMSELF BOB SETON AND SAYS HE COMES FROM TEXAS." "I KNOW NOTHING MORE ABOUT HIM." "IN FACT, I HAD A TOUGH TIME FINDING OUT THAT MUCH." "[ Laughing ] COME ON NOW!" "I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE." "I'M SICK." "BOB, LISTEN TO ME." "COME ON, DOC, YOUR JOB IS PULLING TEETH OUT OF MOUTHS, NOT PUTTING WORDS IN 'EM." " LET HIM SPEAK FOR HIMSELF." " [ Crowd Laughing ]" "COME ON, LET HIM TALK FOR HIMSELF." "[ Cheering ]" "THE JUDGE HERE IS RIGHT ABOUT THAT SPEECH." "DOC WROTE ONE OUT FOR ME, ALL RIGHT, BUT HE FORGOT I COULDN'T READ." "FOLKS, IT'S TRUE." "I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT THE LAW." "AIN'T HAD MUCH BOOK-LEARNIN'." "BUT THE GOOD LORD GAVE ME A NOSE FOR SMELLIN' A HORSE THIEF A MILE OFF." "AND WHAT YOU NEED IN THESE PARTS IS A MARSHAL THAT'S BETTER AT SMELLIN' THAN SPELLIN'." "MR. CANTRELL HERE SAYS THAT I'M HONEST," "THAT I AIN'T AFRAID OF NOTHIN'." "HE DIDN'T SAY I WAS TOO DUMB FOR THIS JOB, BUT THAT'S WHAT HE MEANT." "HE'S RIGHT." "IAMDUMB." "I'M DUMB ENOUGH TO THINK THAT SMART MARSHALS DO THEIR SHOOTIN' FIRST, THEIR TALKIN' AFTERWARD." "FOLKS, THIS COUNTRY HAS MORE LAWS THAN THERE ARE WAYS TO SKIN A SKUNK." "THOUSANDS OF 'EM." "WHY, BACK EAST, THEY TELL ME THERE'S A LAW AGAINST SPITTIN'." "[ Crowd Laughing ] BUT REMEMBER THIS." "BEFORE YOU CAN TRY 'EM FOR ANYTHING, YOU GOTTA CATCH 'EM." "I CAN CATCH 'EM." "[ Cheering ]" "WHAT'S SO FUNNY, MR. McCLOUD?" "LOTS, MISS McCLOUD." "DON'T YOU LIKE THE WAY I'M ARRANGING THE TABLE?" "I WAS JUST THINKING, WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF CANTRELL DIDN'T GET ELECTED." "THAT'S STUPID." "HOW COULD HE LOSE?" "DID YOU EVER HEAR THE STORY OF THE TORTOISE AND THE HARE?" "I'M NOT AT ALL INTERESTED IN A TORTOISE." "MAYBE NOT, BUT YOU AIN'T BEEN THE SAME SINCE." ""AIN'T. " SINCE WHAT?" "SINCE HE PROPOSED TO YOU." "OH, BAH!" "BAH, YOURSELF." "YOU CAN'T TELL ME YOU WAS SO MAD." "NO, I'LL ADMIT I WASN'T." "IT WAS THE OTHER FELLA'S FAULT." "I WAS DRUNK." "HE'S EITHER THE MOST STUPID MAN IN THE WORLD OR TOO NAIVE TO BE WITHOUT A KEEPER." "[ Crowd Cheering ] THE VOTING'S OVER!" "THEY'RE CHEERING FOR WILL!" "HOW MUCH DID HE WIN BY, DAD?" "CANTRELL DIDN'T WIN." "THAT HIGH-HEELED COWBOY IS THE NEW MARSHAL." "[ Laughing ]" "THAT'LL BE ENOUGH OUT OF YOU!" "YES, SIR." "I BETTER START LEARNING TO TOTE A GUN." "IT'S GONNA BE THE FASHION FROM NOW ON." "FATHER?" "AND NOBODY'S GONNA TAKE IT OFFEN ME." "[ High-Pitched Laugh ]" "ELLIE!" "ELLIE, YOU CAN CLEAR ALL THIS AWAY NOW!" "I'M GONNA GET MINE QUICK." "[ Clears Throat ] WELL, HOWDY, MARSHAL." "HIYA, FLETCH." "BOY, AM I GLAD." "WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT?" "NOTHIN', MA'AM." "YOU ONCE TOLD ME THAT I WOULDN'T MEAN ANYTHING EVEN IF I TRIED." "WELL, I TRIED." "ARE YOU HERE ON OFFICIAL BUSINESS, MR. MARSHAL?" "NO, MA'AM, PERSONAL." "WHAT DOES THAT SAY, FLETCH?" ""GOOD LUCK TO OUR NEW MARSHAL. "" "THAT'S RIGHT KIND OF YOU TO GO TO ALL THIS BOTHER FOR ME." "OH, IT ISN'T ANY BOTHER AT ALL." "ONLY, IT ISN'T FOR YOU." "IT'S FOR MR. CANTRELL." "OH." "WE GOT A SAYIN' DOWN IN TEXAS, MA'AM," "ABOUT COUNTIN' YOUR CHICKENS BEFORE THEY'RE HATCHED." "MM-HMM." "HAVE YOU ALSO GOT A SAYING DOWN IN TEXAS..." "ABOUT PEOPLE KNOWING WHETHER THEY'RE WANTED OR NOT?" "FLETCH, YOU HEAR THAT?" "I SURE DID, MARSHAL." "WE ALSO GOT A SAYIN', MA'AM, THAT WOMEN DON'T ALWAYS SAY WHAT THEY MEAN." "[ Clears Throat ] DO YOU MIND TELLING ME BRIEFLY WHY YOU'RE HERE?" "YES, MA'AM." "I WAS A LITTLE HASTY A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO..." "ASKIN' YOU TO MARRY ME." "THERE WAS SOMETHING I SHOULD'VE TOLD YOU FIRST." "OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT." "YOU TOLD ME." "YOU WERE IN JAIL ONCE, BUT IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT." "UH-UH." "I SHOULD'VE TOLD YOU FIRST THAT I LOVE YA." "THAT'S WHAT I REALLY CAME OVER FOR TONIGHT." "OH, THERE I GO AGAIN." "THERE'S SOMETHING I SHOULD'VE DONE BEFORE THAT." "WHAT, FOR INSTANCE?" "THIS." "NOW THAT'S THE RIGHT ORDER IN WHICH THINGS ARE DONE IN TEXAS." "[ Stammering ]" "DON'T DO IT, WILL." "DON'T DO IT." "IT AIN'T RIGHT." "WELL, I'M SICK OF DOING WHAT'S RIGHT." "I'M SICK OF TEACHING SCHOOL, GETTING NOWHERE." "WILL, LISTEN TO ME." "IF IT'S MARY McCLOUD YOU'RE THINKIN' OF, SHE'LL LIKE YOU IF YOU AIN'T GOT A PENNY." "LEARNING, STUDYING, WORKING LIKE A DOG." "WHAT DOES IT GET ME?" "FIRST CHANCE I HAVE TO BE SOMEBODY, I'M BEATEN OUT OF IT..." "BY AN IGNORANT COWHAND WHO CAN'T EVEN WRITE HIS OWN NAME." "WELL, I CAN WRITE MY NAME," "AND I'M GONNA WRITE IT ACROSS THIS TERRITORY IN FIRE AND BLOOD." "I'M GOING TO BE SOMEBODY IN THIS COUNTRY, SOMEBODY BIG." "STOP IT, WILL!" "STOP IT!" "YOU AIN'T GONNA TAKE THAT ROAD." "THAT'S WHY WE COME HERE FROM OHIO," "AWAY FROM THE ROTTENNESS OF YOUR BROTHERS." "WILL, I TAUGHT YOU DIFFERENT." "THERE'S GOOD IN YA." "AND IT'S STRONGER THAN THE BAD THAT'S IN YOUR BLOOD." "WILL, I'VE ALREADY SEEN THREE OF MY SONS TURN BAD." "RATHER THAN SEE YOU FOLLOW 'EM, I'LL KILL YA." "ME THAT GIVE YOU LIFE." "I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING, MA." "I'LL BE RUNNING KANSAS YET." "I'M GOING CLEAR UP TO THE TOP." "BUT I'M NOT GOING FOR THE CLIMB OR THE VIEW." "PILE IN THERE." "WE'RE TAKING YOU ACROSS THE BORDER." "YOU'RE FREE." "GET OFF MY LAND!" "WE DON'T WANT SLAVERY IN KANSAS." "[ Gunshot ] [ Woman Screaming ]" "WHERE DO WE TAKE THIS BATCH?" "RUN 'EM ACROSS THE MISSOURI BORDER." "THEY SHOULD BRING ABOUT 300 A PIECE." "YOU'RE SLOWIN' UP, CANTRELL." "I EXPECTED MORE THAN THIS." "THAT'S THE LAST OF IT." "I'M THROUGH WITH SLAVE RUNNING." "TOO RISKY." "FELLA NAMED JOHN BROWN GOT HIMSELF HUNG FOR IT." "IT'S GUNRUNNING FOR ME FROM NOW ON." "IT'S HEALTHIER." "WHAT'S THE MATTER?" "COUPLE OF MEN ARE COMPLAININ'." "THEY'LL GET THEIR MONEY WHEN WE GET OVER THE RIDGE." "THEY'RE FIGURING TO TAKE THIS STUFF TO THE BORDER AND TURN BACK." "LISTEN, BUSHRUP, THEY'RE PAYING US PLENTY OF MONEY FOR THESE GUNS." "I PROMISED TO DELIVER THEM IN KANSAS." "NOW, IF YOU CAN'T DO THIS MY WAY, SOMEBODY ELSE WILL." "SURE." "SURE, ANYTHING YOU SAY." "THERE." "THERE THEY ARE." "COME ON, LET'S GET 'EM." "EASY, FLETCH." "TAKE IT EASY." "WHIP 'EM UP, BOYS!" "DID YOU GET A GOOD LOOK AT HIM, BOB?" "MAYBE." "TAKE THAT STUFF ON INTO TOWN." "I'LL SEE YA LATER." "IT'S PRETTY LATE TO BE STOPPIN' BY." "OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT." "YOU'LL FIND ME BURNING THE MIDNIGHT OIL MOST NIGHTS." "SAW YOUR LIGHT ON IN THE WINDOW." "MR. CANTRELL, I NEED SOME LEGAL ADVICE." "I'LL BE GLAD TO HELP YOU IF I CAN." "COUPLE OF POINTS OF LAW I'M NOT SO SURE OF." "YOU GOT A TERRITORIAL CODE BOOK HANDY?" "UH-HUH." "GOT ONE RIGHT HERE." "IT'S PRACTICALLY MY BIBLE." "GLAD TO HEAR THAT, TEACHER." "I HOPE YOU ABIDE BY IT LIKE A CHRISTIAN DOES THE GOOD BOOK." "WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW, MARSHAL?" "PENALTY FOR SMUGGLIN'." "WHAT SORT OF SMUGGLING?" "UNLICENSED ARMS INTO FEDERAL TERRITORY." "ALL RIGHT, HERE WE ARE." ""FIVE YEARS IMPRISONMENT, "" "$5,000 FINE OR BOTH." "FIVE YEARS, EH?" "IT'S A BIG SLICE OUT OF A MAN'S LIFE, TEACHER." "WHAT'S YOUR POINT, SETON?" "POINT IS, SOMEONE TRIED TO RUN IN 500 RIFLES TONIGHT." "MM-HMM." "I FIGURED ON A GUN RUN ONCE MYSELF." "EVEN I WAS TOO SMART FOR THAT." "MR. CANTRELL, YOU'RE ONE OF THE SMARTEST MEN I'VE EVER KNOWN." "NOW, IF I DIDN'T LIKE YA-- NOW, JUST A MINUTE." "YOU'RE NOT ACCUSINGME, ARE YOU?" "NO, JUST TELLIN' YA." "I'D RATHER GIVE YOU ADVICE HERE IN THE SCHOOLHOUSE..." "THAN TO LOCK YA IN THE JAILHOUSE." "WHY, YOU'RE A CRAZY MAN!" "GUNRUNNING AND SCHOOLTEACHING DON'T MIX." "DON'T YOU KNOW THAT?" "I KNOW IT." "MAKE SURE YOU DO." "SO I'M LEARNIN' FLETCH HOW TO BE A GOOD COWHAND." "HE'S LEARNIN' ME TO BE A GENTLEMAN." "FLETCH MADE A BETTER DEAL." "YOU'RE BEING CHEATED." "HOW SO?" "GOOD MORNING, WILL." "GOOD MORNING." "I'M NOT SETTIN' SO GOOD WITH YOUR FRIEND, MR. CANTRELL." "WHY?" "I THINK HE'S GOT THE IDEA..." "THAT I'M TRYIN' TO STEAL YOU AWAY OR SOMETHING." "AND?" "WELL, I THINK MAYBE HE'S RIGHT." "GIDDYAP." "LOOKS LIKE THIS MAN LINCOLN'S LIABLE TO WIN..." "WITH THE DEMOCRATS DIVIDING UP BETWEEN DOUGLAS AND BRECKENRIDGE." "LOOKS LIKE A HEAP OF TROUBLE." "YEP." "RUCKUSES IN THE SOUTH." "RUCKUSES IN THE NORTH." "LOOKS LIKE WAR JUST AROUND THE CORNER." "WELL, ALL I WANT'S TO BE LET ALONE TO RAISE KANSAS WHEAT." "SOUTH TROUBLE AIN'T NO CONCERN OF OURS." "WELL, I DON'T KNOW." "YOU FEEL SOUTH OR NORTH," "DEPENDING ON WHAT'S IN YOUR HEART." "HEART NOTHIN'." "IT'S A MATTER OF POCKETBOOK TO THE SOUTH." "YES, SIR, WHAT THEY WANT'S FREE LABOR." "IN A NORTHERN MILL, A MAN'S GOT A CHANCE TO EARN A LIVING WAGE." "EIGHT AND SOMETIMES TEN DOLLARS A WEEK." "CHEAP SLAVE LABOR-- THAT'S WHAT THE SOUTH WANTS TO FIGHT FOR." "ALL THIS TALK ABOUT SOUTHERN TRADITION AND CHIVALRY." "WELL, THERE IS TRADITION THERE, MR. HALE." "WHICH MR. HALE CAN HARDLY APPRECIATE." "OH, ONE OF JEFF DAVIS' BOYS, HUH?" "WELL, I'D LIKE TO SEE THIS SOUTHERN TRADITION AND CHIVALRY BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND." "THAT'S A WISH THAT'D BE HARD TO GRATIFY." "SOUTHERN HOMES KEEP YOUR KIND IN THE STABLES." "YEAH?" "WELL, MAYBE IF YOU HAD A MEAL IN THE STABLE ONCE IN A WHILE..." "AFTER A HARD DAY'S WORK, YOU'D COME DOWN OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE," "YOU AND THAT RICH BANKER FATHER OF YOURS LIVIN' HIGH OFF OF OTHER PEOPLE, TALKIN' BIG." "NEVER DID A DAY'S WORK IN YOUR LIFE, NEITHER OF YOU." "YOU'RE A LIAR, MR. HALE." "I'LL KICK THE TRADITION AND CHIVALRY OUT OF YOU." "I'LL TEACH YOU TO" "COME OUT!" "COME OUT OF YOUR FINE HOUSE AND LOOK AT IT!" "MURDERERS!" "GO ON AND TELL 'EM, MRS. HALE." "YES, I'LL TELL 'EM." "YOU'LL HAVE PLENTY TO EAT THIS WINTER." "WHAT ABOUT US?" "WHO'S GONNA BRING IN OUR WHEAT?" "WHERE'S MY HUSBAND?" "I'LL TELL YA!" "MURDERERS!" "MURDERED BY YOUR FINE YOUNG SNOB OF A SON!" "LOOK, BOB, WE'RE NOT IN MARYLAND OR VIRGINIA WHERE THE LAWS ARE SO RIGID." "THIS IS THE FRONTIER." "I HAVE THE RIGHT TO HAVE MY SON RELEASED ON BAIL." "SET THE AMOUNT AS HIGH AS YOU LIKE." "I'LL POST IT IN CASH RIGHT NOW." "I'M SORRY, MR. McCLOUD, BUT I JUST CAN'T DO IT." "YOU BOUGHT A HORSE TODAY FROM MARTIN CLAUSSEN" "THE FASTEST HORSE HE OWNS." "WELL, THAT HORSE COULD TAKE A MAN ACROSS THE BORDER AND INTO SAFETY." "WOULD THAT BE SO AWFUL?" "HE'S ONLY A BOY." "HE'S OLD ENOUGH TO CARRY A GUN AND USE IT." "HE'LL HAVE TO STAY IN MY CUSTODY." "YOU'LL SIT THERE AND CALMLY SENTENCE MY BOY TO DEATH." "YOU CAN'T DO THAT." "BUT HE'LL BE SAFE, MR. McCLOUD." "HE'LL GET A FAIR TRIAL." "RELEASE MY BOY ON BAIL!" "PLEASE, DAD." "LET ME SPEAK TO HIM." "BOB, I'M NOT GOING TO ARGUE WITH YOU ABOUT RIGHT OR WRONG, OR DUTY OR LAW." "I'M PLEADING WITH YOU FOR THE LIFE OF MY BROTHER." "[ Stammering ] I CAN'T." "IT-IT WOULDN'T BE RIGHT." "I DON'T CARE WHETHER IT'S RIGHT OR NOT!" "DOESN'T IT MEAN SOMETHING TO YOU THAT I'M ASKING YOU TO DO THIS FOR ME?" "THAT BOY ADORES YOU, BOB." "HE IDOLIZES YOU." "HE WANTS TO PATTERN HIS LIFE AFTER YOURS." "DOESN'T THAT MEAN SOMETHING?" "MARY, I'D LIKE TO." "THEN DO IT." "DO IT FOR ME, FOR HIM, FOR ALL OF US." "I CAN'T." "WHEN I TOOK THIS JOB" "IT GOT UNDER MY SKIN." "I TOOK AN OATH" "YOU TOOK AN OATH THE OTHER NIGHT THAT YOU LOVE ME." "YOU ASKED ME TO MARRY YOU AGAIN." "YOU SWORE THAT-- BOB, BOB, PLEASE." "PLEASE, I'LL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU." "I WANT YOU FOR MY WIFE MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD." "BUT NOT AS A BRIBE FOR YOUR BROTHER." "I THOUGHT THEY BRED MEN OF FLESH AND BLOOD IN TEXAS." "I WAS WRONG." "YOU'RE MADE OF GRANITE." "NO, MARY, JUST COMMON CLAY." "BAKES KINDA HARD IN TEXAS." "SO, SETON PROMISES I'LL GET A FAIR TRIAL, DOES HE?" "DON'T LOSE HEART, FLETCH." "YOU'LL BE A FREE MAN SOON." "OH, DON'T RAISE OUR HOPES UNLESS YOU CAN DO SOMETHING." "I PROMISE YOU MORE THAN YOUR FRIEND, THE MARSHAL, IF YOU LEAVE THIS IN MY HANDS." "[ Will ] ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE GOING TO VOTE GUILTY?" "THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS." "[ Whip Cracking ]" "YOU'VE GOT A FAMILY AND FUTURE TO THINK OF, FARMER." "WHEN YOU VOTE, THINK OF THEM." "REMEMBER THAT YOU GOT A FAMILY AND FUTURE TO THINK OF." "WHEN YOU VOTE, THINK OF THEM." "YOU'VE GOT A FAMILY AND FUTURE TO THINK OF." "WHEN YOU VOTE, THINK OF THEM." "GENTLEMEN, YOU HAVE HEARD ALL THE WITNESSES..." "AND NOW YOU KNOW THE FACTS." "OR SHALL WE SAY, THE SO-CALLED FACTS?" "FOR IT MUST BE OBVIOUS THAT A GREAT DEAL OF THIS TESTIMONY REEKS OF PREJUDICE." "OUR COMMUNITY IS PREDOMINANTLY NORTHERN IN ITS SYMPATHIES." "YET, THE DEFENDANT, FLETCHER McCLOUD, IS A SOUTHERNER." "HE HAPPENS TO BELIEVE IN THE SOVEREIGNTY OF THE SOUTH," "BELIEVES IN IT SO FERVENTLY, THAT HE FOUGHT WITH HALE OVER THE ISSUE." "YET, IT IS HIS PRIVILEGE TO HOLD TO THAT BELIEF." "IT IS NOT WITHIN YOUR POWER..." "TO BRING HALE BACK TO LIFE." "BUT ITISWITHIN YOUR POWER," "BY RULING OUT THAT PREJUDICE TO WHICH I HAVE REFERRED TO..." "AND BY RENDERING THE PROPER VERDICT," "TO GIVE LIFE BACK TO THIS BOY." "LOOK AT HIM, GENTLEMEN." "LOOK AT HIS SISTER..." "AND HIS FATHER." "NONE DEPLORE THE SPILLING OF BLOOD MORE THAN THEY DO." "THEIR HEARTS ARE FULL OF COMPASSION FOR THE FAMILY OF THE DECEASED." "THEY ARE READY AND EAGER TO MAKE WHATEVER AMENDS LIE WITHIN THEIR POWER." "AND ALREADY THEY HAVE ARRANGED TO SEE THAT MRS. HALE..." "AND HER CHILDREN ARE WELL CARED FOR." "GENTLEMEN, PAIN AND TORTURE..." "ARE GRIM BEDFELLOWS." "IF YOUR VERDICT BE HASTY AND MISTAKEN," "YOU WILL FOREVER AFTER KNOW NO PEACE." "YOU DON'T WANT A TRAGIC MISTAKE ON YOUR CONSCIENCES TO HAUNT YOU..." "ALL THE DAYS OF YOUR LIFE." "YOU HAVE FAMILIES AND FUTURES TO THINK OF." "WHEN YOU VOTE, THINK OF THEM." "BEAR THEM IN MIND WHEN YOU SEEK A VERDICT." "THIS SAME THING MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED TO ANY ONE OF YOU OR TO MEMBERS OF YOUR FAMILY." "YOURS IS A SOLEMN, AWFUL RESPONSIBILITY." "IF YOU FIND THIS BOY GUILTY," "YOU KNOW THE PENALTY:" "DEATH." "SWIFT DEATH FOR FLETCHER McCLOUD." "BUT AN ENDLESS, LIVING DEATH OF FEAR AND TERROR AND TORMENT..." "TO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU WHO WILL HAVE WRONGLY CONDEMNED HIM." "[ Cheering And Jeering ]" "GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY, YOU HAVE HEARD THE EVIDENCE." "YOU MAY NOW RETIRE AND TRY TO COME TO A VERDICT." "THIS MESSAGE JUST CAME OVER THE TELEGRAPH, MARSHAL." "[ Whispers Inaudibly ]" "WAIT!" "IT'S IMPORTANT, BOB." "THE JUDGE OUGHT TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT." "IF THEY GET WIND OF THIS BEFORE THEY BRING IN A VERDICT, FLETCH IS AS GOOD AS HUNG." "[ Chattering ]" "[ Gavel Banging ]" "[ Judge ] GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY, YOU HAVE COME TO A VERDICT?" "YES, YOUR HONOR." "WE HAVE." "WE FIND FLETCHER MCCLOUD..." "NOT GUILTY." "[ Crowd Gasps, Boos, Applauds ]" "I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO REPAY YOU, WILL." "WILL, YOU WERE MAGNIFICENT!" "I'M SO HAPPY." "WELL, I GUESS YOU CAN TELL 'EM ABOUT THIS NOW, JUDGE." "[ Gavel Banging ]" "MY FRIENDS, I HAVE NEWS, BAD NEWS, I FEAR." "THE SOUTH HAS SECEDED FROM THE UNION, AND WAR HAS BEGUN." "[ Crowd Gasps, Chatters ]" "[ Will ] THIS WILL NOT BE A WAR OF SHORT DURATION, AS MANY PEOPLE THINK." "IT WILL BE AS DEADLY AND AS FIERCELY FOUGHT AS ANY CIVIL WAR IN HISTORY." "NOW, YOU MEN HAVE THROWN YOUR LOYALTY TO ME," "AND THAT LOYALTY WILL BE AMPLY REWARDED." "YOU'RE NOT FIGHTING FOR THE NORTH, AND YOU'RE NOT FIGHTING FOR THE SOUTH," "BUT YOU'RE FIGHTING TO TAKE WHAT'S COMING TO YOU!" "THE FINE GENTLEMEN OF KANSAS AND MISSOURI..." "WILL BE FIGHTING EACH OTHER IN A WAR OVER SOMETHING WE DON'T WANT ANY PART OF!" "AND THE LONGER THEY KEEP EACH OTHER BUSY, THE BETTER WE'RE GONNA LIKE IT." "WE'RE GONNA LIVE OFF THE FAT OF THE LAND, AND WHAT WE DON'T WANT, WE'LL BURN." "I'LL SHOW YOU FELLAS MORE LIQUOR THAN YOU EVER SAW BEFORE" "MORE MONEY, MORE ANYTHING YOU WANT!" "COME ON, NOW." "LET'S TAKE IT FROM 'EM!" "YOU'LL HANG FOR THIS, EVERY ONE OF YA." "YOU CAN'T STEAL HONEST MEN'S MONEY!" "WHAT HAVE YOU GOT, BUSHRUP?" "NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF UNIFORMS." "BURN 'EM UP!" "UH, WAIT A MINUTE." "GET YOUR MEN INTO THEM." "FROM NOW ON WE'LL BE CONFEDERATE SOLDIERS." "COME ON." "DEAL 'EM OUT." "IF YOU'RE AFRAID, BOYS, WE AIN'T ASKIN' YOU TO SIGN." "BUT IF YOU'RE LOOKIN' FOR EXCITEMENT, GET THE OLD JOHN HENRY DOWN ON PAPER." "WHAT YOU GONNA DO WHEN YOU CATCH 'EM, DOC?" "PULL THEIR TEETH?" "[ All Laugh ]" "YOU SHOULD HAVE NO DIFFICULTY TRACKING DOWN THOSE GUERILLAS." "WHY, THESE FINE MEN ARE READY TO LAY DOWN THEIR LIVES IF NECESSARY," "IN ORDER THAT THE FAIR NAME OF KANSAS WOULD STAND" "JUST SIGN 'ER RIGHT HERE, JUDGE." "EH?" "WHAT'S THAT?" "ENLISTMENT BLANK." "WE CAN USE A SMART MAN LIKE YOU RIGHT UP IN FRONT." "VERY FUNNY." "VERY FUNNY, INDEED!" "[ All Laugh ]" "YOU MIGHT USE YOUR WIT TO A BETTER ADVANTAGE IN TRACKING DOWN THOSE GUERILLAS," "OR AT LEAST TRYING TO FIND OUT WHO THE LEADER IS." "DIDN'T I TELL YA?" "I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN THE MINUTE THAT LINCOLN FELLA GOT ELECTED." "IF THOSE GUERILLAS HIT TOWN THEY'LL CLEAN HOUSE!" "WON'T DO MORE THAN THE GOVERNMENT'S DOIN'." " THEY UPPED TAXES TO RAISE MONEY FOR THE NORTHERN ARMY." " THE SOUTH DOIN' THE SAME." "I HEAR ANGUS McCLOUD AND THAT CROWD ARE SENDIN' PLENTY DOWN." "AND WHO'S MONEY IS IT?" "IT'S THE MONEY IN HIS BANK, YOURMONEY HE'S SENDIN' TO THE SOUTH!" "I WARNED YA BEFORE, BUT YOU KEPT SAYING I WAS A BIT TETCHED BECAUSE I'D LOST MY OLD MAN." "WELL, YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR IT NOW!" "YOU'RE GONNA BE AS POOR AS ME!" "AND YA AIN'T NEVER GONNA GET IT BACK!" "I'M GONNA GET MY MONEY OUTTA THAT BANK." "COME ON." "WE WANT OUR MONEY." "[ Crowd Shouting ]" "THERE IS YOUR MONEY, MAYOR BARSTOW, AND SHAME ON YA." "WHO MADE YOU A LOAN WHEN YOUR WHEAT FAILED?" "I DID." "I HAD TRUST IN YOU." "WELL, I'M A BETTER BANKER THAN YOU'LL EVER BE A FARMER." "ALL RIGHT." "ON YOUR WAY." "TAKE OVER HERE AND PAY OFF AS LONG AS YOU CAN." "YES, SIR." "CALM DOWN, FOLKS." "THIS BANK'S SOLID." "JUST BECAUSE WE'RE RECRUITING IS NO SIGN FOR YOU TO RUN LOCO." "WELL, DO SOMETHIN'!" "DON'T STAND THERE LIKE A BUMP ON A LOG." "THEY'LL GET THEIR MONEY IF THEY GIVE ME TIME." "THEIR MONEY'S SAFE." "THEY'RE WHEAT FARMERS." "THERE NEVER WAS A WAR FOUGHT..." "AND THERE NEVER WILL BE THAT DIDN'T SEND THE PRICE OF WHEAT SKY-HIGH." "THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT, IF THEY WANT THEIR MONEY." "YOU GOT US INTO THIS WITH YOUR FLAG-WAVIN'." "YOU'RE THE LAW" " STOP THEM." "FOOLS, COWARDS, PACK OF SCARED RABBITS!" "I'LL SHOW 'EM!" "MY FATHER'S BANK IS SAFE!" "LISTEN TO HIM!" "[ Angry Chattering ]" "CAN'T YOU MAKE THEM LISTEN?" "GIVE HIM A CHANCE TO TALK TO YA." "YOUR MONEY'S SAFE." "HEY, SON." "GIVE ME THAT GUN YOU'RE SO FOND OF TOTIN'." "[ Crowd Quiets ]" "THAT'S BETTER." "NOW THERE'S A LITTLE QUIET," "I CAN TELL YOU WHAT A SNIVELLIN', BLATHERIN', COWARDLY LOT YOU ARE." "YOU'LL GET YOUR MONEY IF YOU GIVE ME TIME." "BUT MONEY'S NOT LIKE WATER THAT YOU CAN DRAW OUT OF A SPIGOT." "[ Crowd Shouting ]" "SKINFLINT!" "LIAR!" "CROOK!" "CALL ME A SKINFLINT IF YOU LIKE." "CALL ME A USER IF YOU'VE A MIND TO," "BUT DON'T CALL ME A THIEF AND A LIAR!" "YOU'LL GET YOUR MONEY." "THIS BANK IS SOUND!" "YOUR MONEY'S SAFE, I-  [ Gunshot Fires ] - [ Crowd Screams ]" "THAT'S WHAT COMES OF CARRYING A GUN, SON." "[ Coughs ]" "TAKE CARE OF HIM, DOC." "[ Woman ] OH, WHAT DID HE DO?" "DAD?" "DAD!" "[ Sobbing ]" "YOU'RE TO BLAME FOR THIS." "YOU KILLED HIM!" "YOU DIDN'T GET ME SO YOU GOT HIM!" "STEADY, BOY." "STEADY!" "FOUR DAYS AND NIGHTS I'VE BEEN WAITIN' FOR YA." "WHERE YA BEEN?" "TELL ME THE TRUTH." "I TOLD YOU THE TRUTH." "IN THE ARMY." "WHAT ARMY?" "THE CONFEDERATE ARMY." "YOU'RE LYIN' TO ME, WILL." "YOU AIN'T FIGHTIN' FOR THE SOUTH OR THE NORTH." "YOU'RE FIGHTIN' WITH THE HOSTS OF DARKNESS, AND THE DEVIL'S RIDIN' ASIDE YOU." "THAT'S ENOUGH." "MY LIFE'S MY OWN, AND I'M GOING TO LIVE IT." "YES, AND THE ROAD YOU'VE TAKEN YOU'LL END UP ON THE GALLOWS!" "I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF." "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, MA." "THINGS ARE DIFFERENT NOW." "YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HAVE TO POSE AS MY HOUSEKEEPER ANY LONGER." "I'M A RICH MAN." "YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE FINE THINGS TO WEAR AND A BIG HOUSE TO LIVE IN..." "AND SERVANTS." "I WANT NO FINE HOUSE," "NO SERVANTS." "FOR YEARS I'VE BEEN PROUD TO SERVE YOU MYSELF," "HELP YOU." "I'LL HAVE NO PART OF YOUR NEW LIFE," "YOUR NEW RICHES." "PEOPLE ARE ASKIN' QUESTIONS WHY YOU AIN'T HERE, WILL." "WHO?" "FLETCH WAS HERE ASKING FOR YA YESTERDAY." "SAID HIS SISTER'S LEAVIN' KANSAS," "GOIN' EAST." "IT'S FUNNY, ISN'T IT, WILL?" "WE CAN PACK THINGS LIKE THESE SO CAREFULLY," "AND YET OUR PLANS-- OUR LIVES, EVEN" "GET SMASHED NO MATTER WHAT WE DO." "YOU'RE MUCH TOO YOUNG TO BE SO BITTER AND CYNICAL." "I DON'T FEEL YOUNG ANYMORE." "DAD'S GONE." "FLETCH WANTS TO JOIN THE SOUTH." "I CAN'T STOP HIM." "YOU TOO." "YOU BELONG TO THE SOUTHERN ARMIES." "YOU'RE IN DANGER RIGHT NOW, JUST BY VISITING ME." "I'VE GOT TO GET AWAY FROM HERE." "I CAN'T STAND IT ANY LONGER." "YES, BUT WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO GO, AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WHEN YOU GET THERE?" "[ Sighs ] DON'T GO EAST, MARY." "COME WITH ME." "I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU..." "AND THAT I'VE ALWAYS HOPED SOMEDAY YOU'D MARRY ME." "[ Sighs ] I KNOW, WILL." "BUT-- NO, NO." "DON'T FINISH IT." "I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO SAY." "YOU WERE GOING TO SAY, "BUT I DON'T LOVE YOU, WILL. " WEREN'T YOU?" "YES, IT'S TRUE." "I DON'T LOVE YOU." "BUT I DO LIKE YOU." "I ALWAYS HAVE." "YOU'VE BEEN A GOOD FRIEND." "MARY, STOP PACKING A MINUTE." "COME HERE." "LOOK AT ME." "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" "WILL, I'M THE DAUGHTER OF A SCOTCHMAN." "I COULDN'T MARRY YOU UNLESS I GAVE YOU MY HONEST OPINION FIRST." "[ Chuckling ] I THINK YOU'RE MAKING A BAD BARGAIN." "I'VE GOT SCOTCH BLOOD TOO." "I WON'T BE THE LOSER." "DOES THAT MEAN YOUWILLMARRY ME?" "YES, IF YOU WANT ME." "MAYBE I CAN TEACH YOU TO LOVE ME." "TO LOVE HONOR AND OBEY SO LONG AS YE BOTH SHALL LIVE?" "I DO." "THEN I PRONOUNCE YOU MAN AND WIFE." "WHERE CAN I FIND THE MARSHAL?" "WHAT'S UP?" "BUSHRUP'S GUERRILLAS ARE SACKIN' THOMASVILLE!" "I'LL TAKE YA OVER!" "FLETCH, YOU TAKE MARY UP TO THE HOUSE?" "WILL, WHAT IS IT?" "I'VE GOT TO LEAVE." "THEY'RE NOT GUERRILLAS." "GOT TO LEAVE?" "THEY'RE SOUTHERN TROOPS, PART OF MY DETACHMENT." "BUT WHY DOYOUHAVE TO-- IF THEY'RE NOT WARNED THEY'LL BE AMBUSHED AND WIPED OUT." "[ Fletch ] I'M GOIN' WITH YOU." "I'LL GET THE HORSES." "WILL, I DON'T UNDERSTAND." "MARY, I'VE GOT TO DO THIS, AND I HAVEN'T TIME TO EXPLAIN," "BUT I'LL COME BACK TO YOU SOON, DARLING." "[ Bell Tolling ]" "[ Whinnies ]" "DON'T FIRE TILL I SIGNAL." "WAIT A MINUTE." "YOU CAN'T SHOOT 'EM DOWN IN COLD BLOOD." "THIS IS WAR, YOUNGSTER." "[ Gunshots ]" "BOB." "BOB, COME ON!" "YAH!" "YAH!" "YOU SAY IT'S CANTRELL." "YOU'VE BEEN SAYIN' IT FOR WEEKS." "WHY, YOU HAD HALF THE TOWN WASTING TIME SEARCHING, AND STILL NOTHING'S BEEN DONE!" "NOW, THIS KIND OF THING-- QUIT DEBATING, JUDGE, AND GET TO THE POINT!" "I'LL SAVE YA THE TROUBLE, JUDGE." "YOU WANT A NEW MAN." "ALL RIGHT." "GET ONE." "BEEN RIDIN' MYSELF SADDLE SILLY AND LISTENING TO YOUR SNIVELLIN' LONG ENOUGH." "BEEN STAYIN' HERE AGAINST MY WILL AS IT WAS," "TRYING TO DO THE DECENT THING AND CARRY OUT MY END OF THE DEAL." "WELL, YOU'RE RELIEVIN' ME OF THAT, AND THAT'S FINE." "MAYBE I OUGHT TO THANK YOU." "CANTRELL AND HIS GUERRILLAS HAVE BEEN RAIDIN' NORTH, SOUTH, EAST AND WEST," "BUT THEY AIN'T BEEN AROUND LAWRENCE." "ANY OF YOU FUDDLEHEADS EVER STOP TO FIGURE OUT MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE..." "THEY'RE AFRAID TO TANGLE WITH YOURLATEMARSHAL?" "I'VE HAD YOU IN MY BARBER CHAIR DAY AFTER DAY," "AND MANY'S THE TIME I'VE WANTED TO SLIT YOUR FOOL THROAT FROM EAR TO EAR." "I'M GLAD I DIDN'T NOW." "THAT'LL BE FOR CANTRELL TO DO WHEN HE GETS HERE RIDIN'." "WELL, THE POINT'S WELL TAKEN." "[ Scoffs ]" "UNGRATEFUL PACK OF "HYENIES. " FORGET IT, DOC." "HEY, WHAT'S GOIN' ON UP THERE?" "THEY'RE GONNA RUN CANTRELL'S WIFE OUTTA TOWN." "[ Crowd Shouting ]" "WHY DON'T YOU ALL GO UPSTAIRS?" "DON'T LISTEN TO THAT TRASH OUT THERE." "WHAT ARE YOU STANDIN' THERE FOR?" "DIDN'T CANTRELL KILL YOUR FRIENDS AND RELATIVES?" "SHE'S NO BETTER THAN HIM!" "GO ON!" "RUN HER OUTTA TOWN!" "CLEAR OUTTA HERE, ALL OF YA." "[ Man ] HE AIN'T THE MARSHAL NO MORE!" "THAT'S RIGHT, I AIN'T." "SO YOUR LAWS DON'T BOTHER ME NO MORE." "THE NEXT ONE OF YOU POLECATS THROWS ANYTHING IS GONNA GET A LAW BUSTED RIGHT IN HIS FACE." "NOW, GET OUT." "COME ON, GET OUT OF HERE." "BREAK IT UP." "GO ON." "GET OUT OF HERE, ALL OF YOU." "THANKS FOR TRYING TO HELP." "WELL, YOU CAN'T BLAME 'EM TOO MUCH." "A LOT OF 'EM HAVE HAD KINFOLK KILLED." "YES, I KNOW." "I-- I'M GOING." "WELL, WHERE?" "MISSOURI, NEAR DORRANCE." "RELATIVES THERE?" "YES." "MY HUSBAND." "TO HIM?" "YES." "MARY, YOU CAN'T." "YOU'RE BETTER OFF HERE." "HE'S MY HUSBAND." "MY PLACE IS WITH HIM." "OH, YOU KNOW WHAT HE IS." "YOU'VE HEARD THE STORIES." "I KNOW THE LIES THAT HAVE BEEN PRINTED BECAUSE THIS IS KANSAS AND HE'S FIGHTING FOR THE SOUTH." "THEY'RE NOT LIES." "THEY'RE THE TRUTH." "HE'S NOTHING BUT-- YOU WANT TO BELIEVE THOSE LIES..." "BECAUSE YOU WANT TO BELIEVE THAT I MADE A MISTAKE." "IF YOU'RE OF THE SAME MIND IN THE MORNING," "I'LL TAKE YOU TO HIM." "I'M LEAVING KANSAS MYSELF." "[ Sighs ] HOW MUCH FURTHER IS IT TO THE BORDER?" "WE'LL CROSS IT IN A COUPLE HOURS." "PLACE YOU'RE HEADIN' FOR IS EIGHT OR NINE MILES DOWN THE ROAD" " HILL COUNTRY." "THEY SAY IT'S LOVELY TOO." "DON'T KNOW WHAT LOVELY COUNTRY REALLY IS TILL YOU'VE SEEN TEXAS." "TEXAS." "IN THE SPRINGTIME." "THE RANGE IS COVERED WITH LUPINE" " BRIGHT..." "BLUE," "BLUE AS YOUR EYES." "WELL, ALMOST AS BLUE." "[ Sighing ] BOB, I THINK WE BETTER GET GOING." "MARY, YOU REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME I MET YOU," "WHEN YOU KEPT LOOKING AROUND FOR MY KEEPER..." "'CAUSE YOU THOUGHT I WAS TOO CRAZY TO BE OUT BY MYSELF?" "[ Laughing ] YES." "WELL, YOU BETTER START LOOKIN' AROUND AGAIN," "'CAUSE I'M GOING TO SAY SOMETHING CRAZIER THAN THAT." "I KNOW YOU'RE MARRIED TO HIM, AND I GOT NO RIGHT TO SAY THIS," "BUT I STILL LOVE YOU." "OH, BOB." "YOU DON'T LOVE HIM." "YOU NEVER DID." "BOB, PLEASE." "I GOT A RANCH IN TEXAS." "I WANT TO DRIVE YOU DOWN THERE." "WILL YOU GO WITH ME?" "WILL YOU?" "BOB, I CAN'T." "PLEASE DON'T SAY ANY MORE." "HYAH!" "THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU." "YES." "YOU SURE YOU WON'T CHANGE YOUR MIND?" "NO, BOB." "WHERE'LL YOU BE GOING?" "TEXAS." "GOOD-BYE, MARY." "GOOD-BYE, BOB." "[ Laughing, Shouting ]" "HEY, WILL!" "THE BOYS ARE BRINGIN' YOUR WIFE IN." "PICKED HER UP OUTSIDE OF CAMP." "?" "[ Band Playing ]" "[ Laughing, Whooping ]" "MARY, DARLING." "IT'S..." "BEEN A LONG TIME, HASN'T IT, WILL?" " MARY!" " FLETCH!" "OH, FLETCH, IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN." "LISTEN, SIS, YOU TOOK AN AWFUL CHANCE COMIN' ACROSS THAT WATER TERRITORY ALONE." "BUT I DIDN'T COME ALONE." "BOB SETON BROUGHT ME WITHIN A MILE FROM HERE." " SETON?" " YES, HE WAS ABOUT THE LAST FRIEND I HAD IN LAWRENCE." "FLETCH, AS SOON AS YOU GET THOSE WAGONS ROLLING, COME BACK AND HAVE DINNER WITH US." "COME ON, DEAR." "LIKE IT?" "IT'S GOING TO BE MY HEADQUARTERS, PERMANENTLY, SO I WANTED TO HAVE IT..." "JUST AS NICE AS POSSIBLE FOR YOU." "SURPRISED?" "I'M AMAZED." "I EXPECTED TO FIND YOU IN SOME SHACK, OR" "WAR HAS MADE A GREAT CHANGE IN YOU, WILL." "IT TOOK A GRUBBING SCHOOLTEACHER..." "AND MADE A MAJOR OUT OF HIM," "GAVE HIM ALL THIS." "WHERE DID IT ALL COME FROM?" "I BET YOU USED TO ASK THAT QUESTION WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, IN JUST THAT SAME TONE," "WHEN YOU FOUND ALL THE PRESENTS UNDER THE CHRISTMAS TREE." "NO, NO." "I'M SERIOUS, WILL." "I WANT TO KNOW." "WELL, TECHNICALLY, THEY'RE CALLED THE SPOILS OF WAR." "AND ALL THROUGH THE FIGHTING, DARLING," "UH," "THIS WILL PROVE THAT I WAS THINKING OF YOU." "TAKE IT." "OPEN IT UP." "IT'S YOURS." "WILL, I WANT TO ASK YOU SOMETHING." "WELL?" "I'VE HEARD A LOT OF UGLY STORIES THAT YOU'RE-- WILL." "WILL!" "LOOK WHAT WE PICKED UP." "I HAD A TOUGH TIME SAVING HIM FOR YA." "THE BOYS WANTED TO TRIM A TREE WITH HIM." "[ Mary ] BOB." "UNTIE HIM, BUSHRUP." "MR. SETON IS HERE AS MY FRIEND, NOT AS MY ENEMY." "WHILE HE'S IN CAMP HE IS TO BE TREATED AS MY PERSONAL GUEST..." "AND SHOWN EVERY COURTESY." "YES SIR." "AS YOUR GUEST." "UH, YOU'D PROBABLY LIKE TO WASH UP A BIT." "PHIL?" "YES, SIR?" "TAKE MR. SETON TO MY QUARTERS." "SEE HE HAS EVERYTHING HE WANTS." "YOU'LL FIND HIM PRACTICALLY AT YOUR BECK AND CALL." "LATER, MY WIFE AND I TRUST YOU WILL DO US THE HONOR TO DINE WITH US." "THANKS." "NOW, NOW, NOW." "DON'T WORRY." "I'LL MAKE MYSELF PERSONALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS SAFETY AND COMFORT." "AH, SETON." "YOU'RE PRETTIED UP FIT TO KILL." "HAVE A DRINK." "NO, THANKS." "I, UH, HAVE A FEELING YOUR STAY WITH US IS GOING TO BE RATHER BRIEF," "SO I'D LIKE TO EXTEND EVERY HOSPITALITY." "HAD I KNOWN YOU WERE AROUND THIS NECK OF THE WOODS I'D HAVE POSTED SIGNS SAYING "KEEP OUT, "" "BUT, UNFORTUNATELY, YOU COULDN'T HAVE READ THEM." "YOU LEARNED ME TO READ FIGURES PRETTY GOOD, THOUGH, CANTRELL." "UH-HUH." "THERE'S SOME DON'T QUITE ADD UP." "WHAT'S THAT?" "GENERAL BEAUREGARD AND THE FIFTH ARMY..." "ARE A LONG WAYS FROM HERE," "YET THAT DOOHICKUS ON YOUR COLLAR SAYS FIFTH ARMY." "WHAT SORT OF DOOHICKUS WOULD YOU LIKE ON THE UNIFORM OF YOUR FIRING SQUAD?" "FIRING SQUAD, EH?" "YEAH." "OH, THAT'S RIGHT." "YOU'RE AN OFFICER NOW, AND A GENTLEMAN." "I WAS FIGURING IT'D BE A ROPE PARTY." "OH, NO, SETON." "AFTER ALL YOU'VE DONE FOR ME..." "THE LEAST I COULD DO FOR YOU WOULD BE TO GRANT YOU FULL MILITARY HONORS." "LIKE THE WAY OUR MESS IS RUN?" "PRETTY GOOD TURKEY THERE, ISN'T IT?" "YEAH." "FIRST TIME I EVER HAD TWO KINDS OF BIRD WITH ONE MEAL:" "TURKEY TO EAT AND BUZZARD TO LOOK AT." "PUT THAT KNIFE DOWN, SETON." " YOU HEARD WHAT HE SAID." " I'M A FAIR HAND WITH A BOWIE KNIFE, MISTER." "I'LL PUT THIS THROUGH THE FIRST ONE OF YOU PULLS A GUN." "OH, WELL, WE'RE ALL FAMISHED AND WAITING FOR YOU." "I'M SORRY I'M LATE." "SIT DOWN HERE, DARLING." "SETON, OVER THERE." "WHERE'S FLETCH?" "SIT DOWN, BOY." "I CAME TO TELL YOU I'D RATHER NOT JOIN YOU." "WHY NOT?" "NOT WITH MR. SETON HERE." "OH, WELL, SUIT YOURSELF, FLETCH." "WE'RE HUNGRY." "GOOD FOOD, GOOD WINE AND GOOD TALK." "WHAT MORE COULD A MAN ASK FOR?" "THAT RIGHT, MARY?" "YES, THAT'S RIGHT, EXCEPT, AS DAD USED TO ADD, GOOD FRIENDS." "OH, YES." "OF COURSE." "AND, UH, WE'RE LUCKY TO HAVE SUCH A FRIEND WITH US TONIGHT." "LET'S DRINK TO AN EARLY PEACE, WITH HONOR." "[ Clears Throat ] I HAVE A VERY PERSONAL REASON FOR PROPOSING THAT TOAST." "SOMETHING I HAVEN'T TOLD YOU, MARY." "YES?" "WHAT IS IT?" "I'VE BOUGHT A PLACE IN VIRGINIA, RIGHT IN THE HEART OF THE SHENANDOAH VALLEY," "THE MOST BEAUTIFUL ESTATE YOU HAVE EVER SEEN." "SHENANDOAH VALLEY, EH?" "UH-HUH." "THAT FIFTH ARMY REALLY GETS AROUND, DON'T IT?" "YOU LIKE VIRGINIA, DON'T YOU?" "OH, YES." "I THINK IT'S LOVELY THERE." "BUT BEFORE GOING, I THINK I'D ENJOY SEEING THE WHOLE SOUTH." " WELL, WHY NOT?" " BAYOU COUNTRY, LOUISIANA AND TEXAS SHOULD BE INTERESTING." "I WAS JUST THINKING A FEW MINUTES AGO I'D" "I'D LIKE TO GO TO TEXAS." "WELL, IF LUCK'S WITH US, THERE'S NO REASON WE CAN'T DO IT." "MAKE A GRAND TOUR, INCLUDINGTEXAS." "BE SURE AND MAKE HIM COMFORTABLE ON YOUR SIDE OF THE CAMP." "HE NEEDS A GOOD REST." "[ Laughing, Music Continue ]" "IN THERE." "LET HIM STEW FOR A WHILE." "WELL, I'M GOIN' DOWN THERE NOW." "NO." "YOU LET SETON ALONE." "I DON'T WANT YOU GOING DOWN THERE." "I'LL TAKE CARE OF HIM MYSELF." "GIVE ME THAT GUN." "WAIT OUTSIDE." "HERE." "BOB, YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT CANTRELL." "WE'VE GOT TO GET MARY OUTTA HERE." "WILL, I'M NOT BLIND." "I'VE SEEN ENOUGH SINCE I GOT HERE..." "TO PROVE THOSE STORIES I HEARD IN LAWRENCE ARE TRUE." "I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT ME IN LAWRENCE OR ANYPLACE ELSE." "I'M ONLY INTERESTED IN WHAT YOU THINK." "FOR YEARS I SAT IN THAT SCHOOLHOUSE THINKING OF YOU, DREAMING OF YOU." "I WANTED TO BE ABLE TO OFFER YOU THE MOON ON A GOLDEN PLATTER." "I REGRET NOTHING I'VE DONE, AND I'LL DO IT AGAIN." "I'D PLUNDER A DOZEN STATES..." "TO GET YOU AND TO KEEP YOU." "I'M YOUR WIFE." "I CAME HERE OF MY OWN FREE WILL." "I'LL STAY HERE AS YOUR WIFE, ON ONE CONDITION." "SOMETHING INVOLVING MR. SETON, NO DOUBT." "YES." "SAFE PASSAGE FOR MR. SETON THROUGH YOUR LINES, AND PROOF THAT HE GOT IT." "ALL RIGHT." "FOR SUCH A PRIZE, I CAN AFFORD TO BE GENEROUS." "[ Gunshot ]" "?" "[ Music Stops ]" "[ Gunshot ]" "WHERE'S FLETCH?" "I THINK HE CALLED ON YOUR FRIEND." "NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT, MARY." "I'LL BE RIGHT BACK." "WHERE'D THOSE SHOTS COME FROM?" "FLETCH IN THERE?" "YES." "I THINK HE GAVE IT TO HIM." "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO LET-- TURN AROUND, MISTER." "GET OVER THERE." "GET OVER." "COVER THE DOOR, FLETCH." "CAN YOU GET SOME HORSES?" "I'VE GOT A TEAM ALL READY." "YOU BETTER GET MARY." "WHERE WILL YOU BE?" "AT THE BRIDGE." "?" "[ Music Continues ]" "COME ON, FLETCH!" "HAVE YOURSELF A GOOD TIME." "[ Laughs ]" "DO WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE CAMP?" "THAT'S THE ONLY WAY OUT." "CANTRELL AIN'T GONNA RAID LAWRENCE TONIGHT." "HE'S GOT COMPANY!" "[ All Laugh ]" "GET ON THOSE HORSES!" "BUSHRUP, STOP THAT WAGON!" "BOB, LOOK!" "YAH!" "WHAT'S THE MATTER?" "CANTRELL AND HIS GUERRILLAS ARE HEADED THIS WAY." "DOC!" "WAKE UP THE TOWN!" "DOC!" "WHAT'S UP?" "FLETCH IS HURT." "GET DR. LORD, BRING HIM TO THE McCLOUD HOUSE." "HE WENT TO NEWTON THIS MORNING, BUT I'LL TAKE THE CASE." "BUT HE NEEDS MEDICAL ASSISTANCE." "AND HE'LL GET IT, LADY." "YOU'RE LOOKING DIRECTLY AT THE BEST DOCTOR WEST OF THE MISSISSIPPI." "COME ON." "GET UP!" "WAKE UP, EVERYBODY!" "COME TO LIFE!" "WAKE UP IN THERE!" "AT THIS HOUR OF THE NIGHT?" "WHAT IS IT?" "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" "CANTRELL AND HIS RAIDERS ARE COMIN'." "WELL, THAT'S NO REASON TO GET EVERYBODY UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT." "WHO?" "CANTRELL." "OH, THE MILITIA!" "NOBODY'S HERE, THEY'RE GONE." "I SENT THEM TO DODDSTOWN." "HE'LL BURN EVERYBODY IN THEIR BEDS, LIKE HE DID AT THOMASVILLE." "GET THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN INTO THE TOWN HALL, ALL OF 'EM, FAST." "WHAT DO WE DO?" "WHAT DO WE DO?" "GREAT SCOTT!" "I NEVER EXPECTED THAT." "I THOUGHT IT WAS IN DODDSTOWN." "HAD A TIP AND SENT THE MILITIA." "WE'VE GOT TO SURRENDER." "WE'VE GOT TO SURRENDER, I TELL YOU!" "ARE THERE ANY WAGONS IN TOWN, OR DID THE MILITIA TAKE THEM ALL?" "YES." "I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW!" "WHO WOULD HAVE EXPECTED THAT?" "THERE ARE 30 OR 40 OF THEM, MARSHAL." "WELL, GET 'EM." "YES, GET 'EM!" "GET 'EM!" "MARTHA, BRING DOWN MY GUN!" "THE ONE WITH THE LONG BARREL!" "[ Screaming, Shouting ]" "BRING ON THEM WAGONS!" "HURRY IT UP!" "[ Screaming, Shouting Continue ]" "DID YOU GET THROUGH TO DODDSTOWN?" "I CAN'T." "THE LINES ARE DOWN." "HE'S" " HE'S STILL UNCONSCIOUS, ISN'T HE, DOC?" "AND LUCKY." "CAN'T FEEL ANY OF THIS." "LAST TIME I DID AN OPERATION, I" "WHEN-- WHEN WAS THAT, DOC?" "ELEVEN YEARS AGO." "I BELIEVE IN YOU." "I KNOW YOU CAN SAVE HIM." "I'M GONNA TRY MIGHTY HARD, MARY." "DO YOU THINK YOU COULD GET SOME BANDAGES?" "OH, SURE." "[ Door Closing ]" "I HEARD YOUR BROTHER WAS HURT." "I COME OVER TO SEE IF I COULD HELP." "HOW IS HE?" "HE'S BADLY WOUNDED." "HE WAS SHOT GETTING AWAY FROM CAMP." "IT'S BETTER YOU AIN'T ALONE HERE." "OH, MARY," "HURRY UP WITH THOSE BANDAGES." "OH, ALL RIGHT." "I'LL HANDLE THIS SITUATION." "THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT!" "BE CALM!" "[ Gunfire ]" "TAKE COVER!" "WE'LL HAVE TO BURN 'EM OUT." "GET A WAGON READY." "INJUN TACTICS." "LOOK OUT!" "GET BACK!" "[ Screaming ]" "I SPOTTED THE WAGON YOUR WIFE GOT AWAY IN." "IT'S IN FRONT OF HER HOUSE." "YOU KNOW YOUR BUSINESS HERE." "HEY, SETON!" "CANTRELL'S RIDING UP NORTH CREEK ROAD." "[ Gunfire Continues ]" "BE OUT IN A FEW MINUTES." "WHERE YOU GOIN', WILL?" "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" "WHERE'S MARY?" "SHE'S BUSY." "WILL, YOU AIN'T GOIN' UP." "WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?" "WHAT'S THAT GUN FOR?" "IT'S FOR YOU, WILL." "I THOUGHT I'D BORNED A MAN CHILD WHEN I FIRST HEARD YOU SQUALLING, BUT I DIDN'T." "I BORNED A DIRTY, MURDERIN' SNAKE THAT'S BROKE MY HEART TO SEE IT CRAWLIN' ALONG." " YOU'RE NO GOOD, WILL." " I'VE KILLED A LOT OF MEN FOR SAYING LESS THAN THAT." "YOU'VE KILLED A LOT OF MEN FOR SAYIN' NOTHIN' AT ALL." "KANSAS IS RED WITH BLEEDIN'." "I CURSE THE DAY I EVER HAD YOU." "[ Scoffs ]" "STAND WHERE YA ARE, WILL!" "YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH TO HER." "YOU AIN'T GOIN' NIGH HER AGAIN." "MA." "MA!" "SPEAK TO ME." "MA, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?" "OH, I WOULDN'T HAVE HURT YOU NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENED." "I'LL KILL THE MAN THAT FIRED THAT SHOT." "GIVE OVER KILLIN', WILL." "IT WON'T CHANGE NOTHIN' NOW." "YOU'RE AT THE END OF THE ROAD, AND THE DEVIL'S ASIDE YE," "WAITIN'." "DON'T." "GET OUT OF TOWN!" "THE MILITIA'S COMING!" "[ Screaming ]" " WELL, HELLO, DOC." " I DONE IT." "I REMEMBERED HOW." "I WAS AFRAID MY HANDS HAD LOST THEIR CUNNING, BUT I DONE IT." "JUMPIN' CATFISH, I'M OUT OF THE BARBERIN' BUSINESS." "I'M A PRACTICIN' PHYSICIAN AGAIN!" "MY SCISSORS." "WHERE'S MY SCISSORS?" "[ Clanking ] DON'T WORRY, DOC." "HERE THEY ARE." "[ Relieved Sigh ]" "I GUESS LAWRENCE HAS BURNED TO THE GROUND." "YEAH." "WELL, WE GOT A SAYIN' DOWN IN TEXAS..." "THAT IT TAKES A GOOD FIRE TO BURN DOWN THE WEEDS, LET THE FLOWERS GROW." "YOU'VE GOT A SAYING IN TEXAS FOR JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING, HAVEN'T YOU?" "EVER HEAR WHAT WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE SAID?" ""ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL. "" "SHAKESPEARE, HUH?" "WELL, HE MUST HAVE COME FROM TEXAS." "WE'VE BEEN SAYIN' THAT DOWN THERE FOR YEARS." "CLOSED-CAPTIONED BY CAPTIONS, INC." "LOS ANGELES"