"...french toast." "One time when I was eating" "French toast at a restaurant," "I started laughing," "And then I started choking." "So the lady who ran" "The restaurant made me leave." "So let's hear your horn." "Yeah, play that funky music," "White girl." "You know, I'm halalf latina." "Then hit it, moochacha." "I think it's broken." "Here, let me fix it." "It's not broken." "Beck, Beck, hey, you guys!" "Leave him alone!" "Oh, get off..." "What are you doing?" "Get off of me!" "Who is this chick?" "!" "Relax, relax, relax." "Yo, yo, come on!" "What are you doing?" "That guy was beating up Beck." "Oh, you poor thing." "We were practicing." "This is Russ." "I'm Russ." "He's a professional stuntman." "I invited him here" "To teach the class" "About stage fighting." "And now, Tori says," ""What's stage fighting?"" "I wasn't gonna say that." "What is it?" "Fake fighting" "That looks real," "Like for a play or a movie." "I took a class" "With him last summer." "Well, it looked" "Like he was hurting you." "Why do you care?" "'Cause I figure, he already" "Suffers enough pain dating you." "You wanna see pain?" "Hey, why don't we go" "Sit over there?" "Why does she hate me?" "Maybe she heard you play" "The french horn." "Now, if I throw a punch" "At Cat, like this it's easy to see" "That my fist didn't connect" "With her face." "Thank you." "But if we stage it" "From a different angle, then..." "Like I showed you?" "Sound effect, ready?" "All set." "To the audience or camera," "It'll look like this." "I'm okay, everyone." "All right, I'm gonna pair" "You guys up," "And each team will work" "With Russ this week" "To prepare a fight scene." "I thought his name was Steve." "He does look like a Steve." "My name is Russ." "Okay, and on friday," "You will all perform" "Your fight scenes here" "In front of the class." "Now, the pairs will be:" "Beck and Cat, Andre and Gwen," "Darren and Jess, Tori and Jade." "Tori and who?" "Uh, wait," "I'm not comfortable" "With my partner." "Just a sec." "Hey, partner." "I can't wait" "For our fight...scene." "Gulp." "Status report!" "Status report!" "Will you please read" "The next line?" "I don't wanna help" "You rehearse." "I made you oatmeal" "This morning." "I wanted a steak sandwich." "Okay, auditioning next" "Are Trina Vega" "And robbie shapiro." "Oh, no, no, no!" "The puppet guy?" "Excuse me." "Could I please audition" "With someone else?" "You know," "You can whisper that." "It's just an audition." "But..." "Leave the puppet." "Hey, it's cool." "Just set me down" "Next to the hot blonde." "Wait up." "Walk faster." "I'll walk faster." "All right." "It's World War II, 1944." "You're in a submarine, 1,700 feet down" "In the atlantic ocean," "And you're probably gonna die." "Action." "Oh, my God, lieutenant," "Status report." "We've been hit" "On the port side, captain," "Our engines are failing." "Torpedoes?" "None left." "Oye." "How deep are we?" "1,700 feet." "We're gonna have" "To go deeper." "But we'll," "I'm-plode!" "Implode." "But we'll implode!" "Listen, I'd rather die" "Down here than live up there," "Captured by the enemy." "I don't know" "If you are brave or insane." "Hey, stop it." "You're a soldier." "I'm also a woman" "Who loves you." "That was fantastic!" "Ah, that's not your line." "It's not my line." "Actually, that was great," "You guys." "Really?" "'Cause if you thought" "I was great with him," "Just imagine me" "With a good actor." "Huh, I'll do that." "Bring in the next two." "Robbie." "Scene." "Look at her." "Who?" "Jade, I guarantee you" "She's telling Beck" "All about how" "She's gonna punch me" "When we do our scene." "I wonder" "If mirrors work in outer space." "I mean, what am I gonna do" "If she really hits me?" "Bleed, burst into tears." "I'm serious." "It's stage fighting." "No one really hits anybody." "Yeah, but accidents happen," "And what if she makes" "An accident happen on purpose?" "You know, the word mirror" "Has only six letters" "And half of them are rs?" "Haven't you and Jade" "Been rehearsing?" "Yeah, yesterday, after school" "And this morning," "During study hall." "And did she hit you for real?" "No, 'cause she probably wants" "To wait and do it" "In front of the whole class" "To humiliate me." "Well, if she does," "She loses half a letter grade." "Oh, great!" "So she gets an "a minus"" "And I get a broken eye" "And a black nose." "I think you meant..." "I know what I meant." "My dog has a black nose." "It's so cute." "It's like a baby meatball." "Meatballs are brown." "You're so mean to me!" "You want half a sandwich?" "Hey, baby sister." "Andy." "Andre." "Wanna sit with us?" "No." "What's up, a-listers?" "What's up?" "No, no, man," "They're gonna take my pants!" "Hey, hey, Trina!" "Excuse me, move, please, go now." "Wait, wait, wait, don't...go." "I'm not with..." "Why are you sitting here?" "I don't know, just hanging." "I hope that was soy milk." "What's the matter with you?" "If I drink regular milk," "Then the gas builds up" "And up and up, and I..." "Why did you kiss me?" "!" "Oh, because we" "Like each other." "We what?" "The audition scene," "That kiss." "Robbie, I was playing a part." "The script said" "That my character" "Kisses your character." "So that's what happened." "That's all that happened." "Would you be willing" "To convert to judaism?" "Wow, you've got problems." "It's not a deal breaker," "But..." "Rex!" "All right, who took his pants?" "!" "I'll call you." "Yes, don't." "I'm not in love" "With your mother." "Don't!" "And scene." "Next up, we have" "Tori and Jade." "Okay, for our scene," "I'm gonna be playing an old lady" "Who's walking home" "From a bingo game." "And I play a brutal mugger." "Yes, a brutal mugger" "Who mugs me" "Without actually hurting me." "Okay, as always, be careful," "And if anything goes wrong," "Just yell the safe word," "Which is...butternut." "Okay, guys, ready?" "And..." "Butternut." "What." "Tori, what's the problem?" "I was testing the safe word." "It works." "Okay, I'm ready." "And...action." "Oh, I certainly did" "Enjoy the bingo," "Although I do miss bob hope." "Give me your money." "What?" "!" "I ain't playing?" "Give me your money" "And your watch." "Oh, wouldn't you rather" "Have this?" "Butternut!" "She's bleeding." "Cut." "Let me see, let me see." "Are you okay?" "No, Tori hit me" "In the face for real." "No, I didn't." "Tell that to my bloody eye." "All right," "You better sit down." "Somebody grab a chair." "Yeah quickly, get a chair." "Beck, get a chair." "Here, here, here." "Yeah, there we go." "Just sit down." "That was a breakaway chair." "Aw, butternut!" "It hurts?" "Why did you hit Jade" "In the face with a cane?" "I didn't!" "Okay, I believe you." "Don't hit me." "Will you back me up here?" "Okay, look, I'm sure Tori" "Didn't mean to whack Jade" "In the face with the cane." "Oh, why does everyone" "Think I hit her?" "Well, we were watching" "You guys do a scene." "You hit her across the face" "With your cane." "She fell down." "And now, her eye's" "All bloody." "Well, that doesn't mean" "I hit her?" "I kinda think it does." "Jade, you know" "I didn't hit you." "I swung, but I missed." "Look, Tori..." "Hey, we gotta get her" "To the nurse." "But I didn't hit her." "Can someone call my mom?" "I'll call your mom." "She doesn't need her mom." "Don't bother her mom!" "I gotta call her mom." "And I thought we were just" "Starting to be friends." "But I didn't..." "No, no," "I didn't get the role." "I don't know." "Probably 'cause I'm too pretty" "To be on a submarine." "Yes, I am." "Shut up." "One sec." "Oh, my God!" "Do you like stuffed cabbage?" "My mom made this," "And if you have" "A couple of extra forks," "I thought maybe..." "I don't like you." "Yeah, you can say that" "But I know how I felt." "There is no way" "That you can kiss me like that" "And not feel the..." "So you're just gonna" "Close the door...and lock it." "And then turn off" "The porch light?" "Oh, hey, Tori!" "Have a seat." "You look a little worried?" "Yeaeah, well, it's not fun" "Getting called into" "The guidance counselor's office?" "You're not in trouble." "I'm here to help you" "With your violence issues." "I'm not violent." "I believe you." "Then why is he here?" "Tori, I know that Jade" "Probably isn't" "Your favorite person." "So?" "So in life, just because" "We may not like someone," "That doesn't mean" "It's okay to beat 'em" "With a cane." "Oh, relax, Derrick." "I did not hit Jade" "With that cane." "Then how do you explain" "Her black eye?" "I don't know." "I'm just getting water." "Listen, you were under" "A lot of stress" "And you were worried" "That Jade was gonna hit you," "Right?" "Well, yeah." "So you were afraid." "Your adrenaline was pumping," "And maybe in the heat" "Of the moment, you swung on Jade" "With that cane for real." "Maybe..." "Maybe." "I guess it's possible." "Derrick!" "Now, don't you feel better" "Admitting that you hit Jade?" "If I say, yes, can I go?" "Sure." "Okay, fine, then, yes." "Wait, aren't you gonna" "Punish her?" "Don't hit him." "I wasn't gonna." "Can you just tell me" "My punishment?" "Two weeks of detention." "And..." "And?" "On friday night," "The middle school's doing a play" "Here in the black box theatre." "It ends with a big" "Food fight scene." "So, you have to clean" "The theatre after the show." "You know, scrape the food" "Off the walls." "I'd have said" "Three weeks detention." "I'll pull it." "Hey, how ya feeling?" "My eye hurts." "Oh, yeah, which one?" "Cute." "I want coffee." "What's the magic word?" "Get me some coffee..." "Please." "Actually, the magic word" "Was lotion." "But I'll accept your "please,"" "'Cause you got a boo-Boo eye." "Two sugars." "I know what to do." "Come on." "Go out with me" "On saturday night." "I've already got plans." "Sunday night?" "You make me sick." "Monday?" "Wednesday?" "Oh, she's getting up." "Trina, hey, wait," "Baby!" "What's the matter?" "Trina's in denial." "Ah, you're still on that?" "Trina loves me." "It was a stage kiss." "She was acting." "You didn't feel the kiss." "A girl can't fake" "That kind of heat." "I don't care if she tells me" "A thousand times" "That it didn't mean anything..." "See." "I want you to meet" "My parents." "There she is." "You guys," "You're so dead." "Oh, my God, Jade!" "I'm so sorry, please don't" "Destroy me socially," "I didn't mean to." "Just forget it." "Oh hey, Jade!" "Can't... no." "Jade, wait up, wait up." "Jade, what?" "!" "Oh, what's wrong" "With your eye?" "Tori hit me with a cane," "Remember?" "Yeah, but never seen" "A black eye drip before." "This is make-up." "Tori never hit you, did she?" "Fake black eye, fake blood." "Look, you cannot tell" "Anyone about this," "Especially Tori." "I won't." "Tori!" "Shut up, Andre!" "Tori, where are you?" "Will you please stop?" "Anybody seen Tori?" "Nobody bother Tori." "False alarm." "He ate a bad taco." "Is that mac 'n' cheese?" "Who cares!" "Just wanted to know" "If it was mac 'n' cheese." "I don't get it." "What?" "I know Andre told you" "That I faked everything:" "The blood, the black eye." "What is that, mac 'n' cheese?" "Looks like it, right?" "Why are you here?" "Why didn't you tell on me?" "'Cause we both" "Go to school here" "And it's not gonna be much fun" "For either one of us" "If we're fighting all the time." "So, you're just gonna let" "Me get away with it." "You took detention" "And a lower grade" "And you're scraping" "Crusty pudding off the wall" "On a friday night," "Just so I won't get in trouble?" "Pretty much." "Well, you can't be" "Nice to me" "When I've been mean to you." "That's not how it works." "Well, then," "Try being nice to me sometime." "Maybe that will work." "Now, go play." "I gotta scrape this" "Onion dip off the wall" "Or onion pus..." "This might be more fun" "With some tunes." "Hey, D," "Come scrape with us." "This is fun." "Here, try it with two." "T-H-E-S-L-A-P." "You can find out" "Who's doing things!" "Everyone at hollywood arts" "Puts up there pics and videos" "On theslap." "TheSlap..." "DotCom." "Imagine taking a warm shower," "But the water is apple juice."