"I'll get coffee." "Want anything, baby doll?" "I'm fine." "Thanks." "I can't pull off "baby doll," can I?" "No, I think we learned that from the "sugar lips" incident." "I'll make some tea." "How you doing, pumpkin?" " So it's going well for you two?" " I know." "Really well." "I'm gonna ask Phoebe to move in with me." "What do you think?" "It's great!" "When will you ask her?" "Tonight." "But don't say anything." "I swear." "I promise." "I'm so excited!" "But listen, do not get her flowers, okay?" "Because she cries when they die." "Then there's the whole funeral." " I'll see you after work, sweetie." " Okay." "Bye." "So, what movie should we see?" "Gary's gonna ask you to move in with him!" "What?" "Really?" "He made me promise not to tell, but I couldn't hold it in any longer!" "I can't believe this." "Right?" "Because it's fast." "Because it's so fast." "It's fast." "Relax." "It's Phoebe, not you." "Good for you, Pheebs." "Way to go." "No, but it is fast, isn't it?" " I like him, but I'm not ready." " So, what are you gonna do?" "I don't know." "I'll just handle it." "I'll ask you to talk to him!" "Me?" "Why me?" "Because you are so afraid of commitment." "You talk to him." "Make him scared like you, make him a man." "I'll try, but I'm not sure what good it'd do." "I'm less afraid of commitment than I used to be." "That is so sweet." "Still terrified." "I'll take care of it." "The One With the Ball" "Hey, Ross, is Staten Island really an island?" "That's why they call it Staten "Island."" "Oh, I thought it was like Long Island." "Also an island." " What time is it?" " 2:17." "We haven't dropped this ball for an hour." "Are you serious?" "I realized it a half-hour ago, but I didn't say anything." "I didn't wanna jinx it." "We are pretty good at this." "We totally forgot about lunch." "That's the first time I've ever missed a meal." "I think my pants are a little loose." "Hey, you guys." "Is Monica here?" "I bought something." "I'm not sure she'll like it." "It may seem crazy, but I've wanted this since I was a little girl." "You bought Shaun Cassidy!" "No." "I wish!" "Okay, you ready?" "Check it out." "What is it?" "What the hell is that?" "It's a cat." "That is not a cat!" "Yes, it is!" "Why is it inside out?" "Excuse me!" "But this is a purebred, show-quality sphinx cat." "How much did you pay for that?" "It was extravagant, but I got a good deal." " How much?" " Thousand bucks." "On a cat?" "It's not a cat!" "For a thousand dollars, you'd think at least it'd come with hair." "Or something." "All right." "Listen, ball boys." "My grandma had one when I was little." "It was the sweetest thing." "It would sit in my lap and just purr all day long." "I would drag a string and it would chase it." "Free cats do that too, you know." "It's not a cat!" "I'm really excited about this, okay?" "I don't care what you think." "I'm gonna set up a litter box for Mrs. Whiskerson." "What am I gonna call her?" "Fluffy?" "Do you wanna get something to eat, or see how long we can throw this ball?" "The ball thing." "Wouldn't it be great if we could go for two hours without dropping it?" "Yeah, it would!" "Let's do it." "I have to pee." "And Rachel's in the bathroom!" "Man, I didn't think we'd make it." "I know." "Don't switch hands, okay?" "Hey, ladies." "What are you in here for?" "What are you doing here?" "I am here to report a crime." "It's a crime that we don't spend time together." "What's up?" "You're thinking about moving in with Phoebe, and I thought we should talk." "You know, man to well, me." "Sure, okay." "Are you crazy?" "Are you insane?" "If you live with Phoebe, you two are gonna be living together." "I considered that." "It'd make me happy." " You mean scared." " No, I mean happy." "Scared happy." "What are you doing?" "I'm trying to open your eyes!" "If you live with Phoebe, she is always gonna be there." "You get home, she's there." "You go to bed, she's there." "You wake up and, oh, yes, she's there." "I know." "I can't wait!" "Were your parents happy or something?" "I was lucky enough to find someone that I really love." "I just want to be around her as much as I can." "When you say it, it doesn't sound so scary." "You know what I'm saying?" "Yeah, I think I do." "You know what?" "Move in with her." "Move in right now." "Maybe I'll move in with Monica." "No, it's too soon for you guys." "You're right about that." "When they found the remains of the Mesozoic mastodon they discovered what appeared to be the remains of a Paleozoic amphibian in its jaws." "How did it get there?" "Maybe this should be more of a quiet game." "Hey, guys." "I left my watch here last night." " It was here." "Where is it?" " I don't know." "I'm late for work." "How do you know?" "You don't have a watch." "Can you stop throwing the ball for one minute and help me find it?" "Oh, I don't know..." "Yeah, can't do it." " What?" " Do not drop that ball." "We haven't dropped it in..." "Two hours, 27 minutes." "Really?" "I won't make it in to work today." "I don't feel very good." "For a second, I thought I was feeling better, but I'm not." "Hey, Rach." "Check it out." "Almost three hours without dropping it." "Congratulations." "That's quite a waste of time." "You have scratches all over you." "Well, it's my cat." " Oh, I got a cat." " I don't want a cat!" "Don't worry, it's not a cat." "You guys, this cat is nothing like my grandmother's cat." "It's not sweet." "It's not cute." "I dragged a string, and it flipped out and scratched the hell out of me." "I know this sounds crazy, but every time this cat hisses at me I know it's saying, "Rachel!"" "Doesn't sound as crazy as paying $ 1000 for a cat." "You paid $ 1000 for a cat when you owe me $300?" "Well, I was gonna let you play with it." "Did you talk to Gary about moving in?" "I think you should do it." "He's a great guy and he loves you a lot." "You are a very lucky lady." "You are useless!" "Freaking out about commitment is the one thing you can do and you can't even do that right!" "Sorry." "If he asked me, I'd move in with him." "Get out of here, good-for-nothing." "Hey, Chandler." "Hey, Gar." "Hey, sweetie." "Can I talk to you for a second?" "You look pretty today." "Thanks." "Okay." "Here's the thing." "I really want this relationship to move forward." "If you're not moving forward, you're moving backwards." "No, if you're not moving forward, you're staying still." "And staying still is good." "Watch this." "I want you to move in with me." "That is so sweet." "But don't you think it's too soon?" "There's so much we don't know about each other." "Okay." "I get it." "I don't want us to jump into something that we're not ready for." "I don't want to mess up what we have." "I'm worried it's gonna be a big mistake." "Which is why my answer is yes!" "Really?" "You're so happy." "Monica, stop throwing it so hard!" "We're on the same team!" "You guys have been doing this for four hours?" "That's right, baby." " All right." "Let me in." " No, no!" "Don't do it!" "What?" "He's a dropper." "Oh, yeah." "That's right!" "I'm not a dropper!" "It's really a three-person game, you know?" "It's throwing and catching." "All right." "Oh, it's so hard." "Don't worry, guys." "It's not a cat." "Oh, good God!" "I give up." "I don't know what I'm gonna do with this thing." "Baking it didn't help?" "Take it back to where you got it." "I tried." "They won't take her back." "Maybe that's because she's a minion of the Antichrist." "Why won't they take it?" "They said they would only give me store credit." "What am I gonna do?" "Get 1000 regular cats?" "You said it was a show cat." "Why don't you show it, win some prize money." "Those shows cost a hundred bucks to enter, and all you win are these ribbons which technically belong to the damn cat." "You can keep it until you find out what to do with it." "That's not the point." "I'm out $ 1000 I'm all scratched up and I'm stuck with this stupid cat that looks like a hand!" "Oh, my God!" "The cat's made my eyes water." "Don't throw it to me!" "My vision's been compromised!" "Oh, God!" "Okay." "It's okay." "Man, that was close." "Yeah, you almost overreacted to something." " We have great news." " We're moving in together." "Yay!" "Congratulations." " I'm so excited!" " So am I." "You're not more excited than I am." "No way." "I'm the most excited." "See you at the station later." "I'll see you later." "Don't forget about the moving-in!" "So you're moving in with him?" "I couldn't tell him no." "He got so sad." "Maybe it'll be all right." "I do like him a lot and probably do it eventually, anyway." "Plus, think of all the money I'll save on stamps." "Do you write him a lot?" "I heard when people live together they split the cost of stamps, don't they?" " Yeah, yeah." " That's right." "Sorry, the oven mitts really freaked me out." "Hey, honey." "Did you find any apartments in Brooklyn Heights?" "No, nothing." " Oh, really?" " Yeah." " Nothing at all?" " No." "If something opens up, we'll move in." "If it has a pool." "I need a pool." "Can I talk to you?" "Take a seat." "You okay?" "You feel all right?" "I feel great, because we're moving in together." "So you..." "You checked the paper for listings in Brooklyn Heights, right?" "You checked the Post?" "Yeah, there was nothing." " Can I get some water?" " In a minute." "You checked today's Post?" "Yeah, today's." "Because this is today's Post." "And these are the listings I found." "Brooklyn Heights, two bedrooms." "Brooklyn Heights, one bedroom." "Brooklyn Heights, Brooklyn Heights, Brooklyn Heights!" "Oh, are these for rent?" "I thought people were just bragging." "Let me tell you what's going on here." "Don't look at the table." "Look at me." "Somebody asked someone to move in with him." "Someone said yes, but now she has doubts because things are moving too fast." "Does that sound possible?" "Yes, fine!" "I am someone!" "You want me to say it?" "I have doubts!" "I'm sorry!" "It's okay that you feel this way." "It is soon, and there's things we don't know about each other." "Everything I know about you, I really like." "Things I don't know, I'll learn in a place with our names on the mailbox." "That's so sweet." "But if it's too soon for you, we don't have to do it." "I want you to be happy." "Living with you would make me happy." "You don't have to say that." "I want to live with you." "I want to move in with you." "Are you sure?" "Definitely, yes!" "Let's live in an apartment we both live in." "Oh, that's great." "Oh, wait, one sec." "Hey, you!" "Behind the glass." "Who are you looking at?" "I always wanted to say that every time I was in these rooms, which was never." "Show cat!" "Quality show cat!" " Show cat!" " Oh, my God!" "What's wrong with your baby?" "That's not a baby." "That's a cat." " It's creepy-looking." " Oh, no." "It's actually very sweet." "It's very sweet." "Look." "Yeah." "Do you want it?" "No, I hate cats." "Then what are you doing to me?" "Get out of here, all right?" "Move on!" "What an unusual cat." "Yes, thank you!" "Exactly." "You want it?" "Maybe." "I was thinking about getting a cat from the shelter, but..." " Okay." "Why not?" " Oh, terrific!" "That'll be $2,000." " What?" " Okay, 1000." "Didn't you want me to adopt your cat?" "I do, but you'll have to look at this as more of an investment than a cat." "Okay, yeah." "I just wanted a cat." "Obviously, you know how to haggle, so I won't try and take you on." "So $800, and I don't call the cops, because you are robbing me blind!" "Blind!" "Just take the cat." "Leave the money." "Run away!" "Run away." "Damn it!" "Can't you at least smile or something?" "Did anybody just hear that?" "Anybody?" " I'm starving." " Come on, guys." "Suck it up!" "We're closing in on 10 hours." "It's gut-check time!" "I don't know who made you the boss." "We invented this game." "I made this game what it is!" "Not fun anymore?" "I'm still hungry." "There's pizza at my place." "We can eat with one hand." "Are you with me?" " I am." " All right, let's go!" "Come on!" "Let's go, Team Monica!" "We can work out the name later." "What is your cat doing in my bowl?" "I'm defrosting a chicken." "I sold Mrs. Whiskerson." "Thank God!" " Get your money back?" " Yeah, $ 1500." "You made a profit?" "I just came for the red velvet pillow." " There you go." " Thanks, Rachel." "Don't forget, you can come visit her anytime." "Oh, good." "Great." "I'll keep that in mind." "So is this some kind of snake or something?" "I like waking up with you." "I like waking up with you too." "Oh, it's such a beautiful morning." "I could stay here all day." "That would be great." " We could have breakfast in bed." " Wait, just a second." "Oh, no." "All right." "Come on, Monica!" "Look alive." "Come on!" "Oh, I was having the best dream." " What?" " I dreamed I was drowning and not throwing this ball." "Oh, good." "You're all up." "It's 6:00 in the morning." "Why aren't you at Gary's?" "Oh, yeah." "That's over." "Gary's such a great guy." "You can work it out." " He shot a bird." " That is over." " I'm sorry." " That's terrible." "Are you okay?" "I'll be all right." "Here, Pheebs." "I don't feel like playing." "It's okay." "It's okay." "It didn't happen." "No one needs to know." "She's not an official ball player." "Only official ball players can drop the ball." " Come on." " Let's go." "You wanna get breakfast?" "Okay, let's race!" "First one there wins." "You guys wanna eat here?" "That was great, huh?" "Can you believe how long we threw it?" "It is amazing it lasted that long." "My arm is killing me." "No, I meant with the dropper over here." "How did I get this reputation as a dropper?" "I am anything but a dropper." "Ross!" "robinson_crusoe" "What's going on?" "My eye is a little itchy." "Mine too." "Yeah." "It's really red." "You should go see my eye doctor." "I'm not gonna see your ex-boyfriend." "That's all I hear." "Richard, Richard, Richard." "Since we've dated, I've said his name twice." "Okay." "So Richard, Richard." "It's not Richard." "It's this new guy." "He's good." "I'm sorry." "I'm not going to an eye doctor." " Oh, God." "Here we go." " What?" "Anytime anything comes close to touching her eye or anyone else's she, like, freaks out." "Watch." "Ross, come on!" "I have a weird thing with my eye." "Can we not talk about it?" "Hey, Rach." "You know that great song?" ""Me, Myself and Eye."" "Monica!" "Come on!" "All those in favor of getting lunch, say, "eye."" "Ross!" "Stop it!" "How much did I love The King and Eye?" "Chandler!" "Me too, me too!" "Just stop it!" "That's enough!" " You okay there, man?" " Yeah." "I got too excited." "The One with Joey's Big Break" "I gotta go." "I'm taking Ben to the park." " Give him a kiss for me." " All right." "Bye." "Later." "I'm so sorry you got caught in the middle of that." "I didn't mean to be so out there, but I am furious with him." "Calm down?" "I'm trying." "Man, that guy can push my buttons!" "Why are you so mad?" " I don't wanna talk about it." " It seems like..." "You wanna be on my list too?" "Keep talking." "Has anyone seen my list, by the way?" "No." "What's it look like?" " A piece of paper and it says, "Ross."" " I see." "I just got off the phone with Estelle." "Guess what?" "I got the lead!" "You got the lead in a movie?" "What's it about?" "It's called Shutterspeed." "It's really cool." "I meet this girl in the subway and we fall in love in, like, a day." "And then she disappears." "But I find out where she lives." "This old lady answers the door." "I say, "Where's Betsy?"" "And she says, "Betsy's been dead for 10 years."" "Chilling!" "The best part is, we're filming in the desert outside of Vegas." " You know what that means." " I know." "Road trip!" "We can rent a car." "I have to be there by Tuesday." "Wait!" "My grandmother's dead." "We can talk about that too, Pheebs." "No, her cab." "She probably won't be using it." "Drive it to Las Vegas." "All right!" "Thanks!" "What are we gonna do about my job?" "Not go." "Great!" "Road trip, baby!" "Is this okay?" "Chandler, you don't have to ask for my permission." "You can go." "Rach, we'll be late for the eye doctor." "All right." "Let's get this over with." "Look what I did." "I mean, look at this mess." "We're gonna probably have to clean this up." "I mean, we're gonna have to reschedule!" "If you thought that this mess was gonna bother me, you are wrong!" "All right, let's go, Blinky." "Hey, Joey." "What's up?" "I can't decide which route to take to Vegas." "You've traveled a lot, right?" "Yeah, I've been around." "Which route should I take?" "The north or the south route?" "If you take the north route, there's a man with a beard of bees." "Great!" "Problem solved!" "On the south route, there's a chicken that plays tic-tac-toe." "Well, back to square one." "I know a way that you can decide." "I'll ask you a series of questions and you answer as quickly as you can." "Yes!" "Good." "But wait." "Here we go." "I want you to relax." "Take a deep breath." "Clear your mind." " Peanut butter or egg whites?" " Peanut butter." " Be a fireman or a swimmer?" " Swimmer." " You'd sleep with Monica or Rachel?" " Monica." "I always thought it'd be Rachel." " No thinking." "Tie or ascot?" " Ascot." " North or south route?" " North." "Bam!" "There you go!" "Huh?" "That was incredible!" "Beard of bees here I come!" "This guy again." "Hey, what's up?" "Not much." "Wanna see a movie tonight?" "What do you wanna see?" "I don't know." "I know how to decide." "Show him your game." "No, thank you." "What's with her?" "I don't know." "I know how we can decide." "I'm gonna ask you questions and you answer real quick." " Action or comedy?" " Action." "Who would you rather sleep with, Monica or Rachel?" "Dude, you are sick." "I'm sorry." "I forgot you had that whole Rachel thing." "Oh, my God." "What does that thing do?" " An eye removal machine." " I'm out of here." "I'm kidding." "Rachel, I'm Dr. Miller." "Monica said you were nervous." "Everything will be fine." " So we're done." " Almost, but first we gotta start." "This is a glaucoma test." "Sit down." "Put your chin here." "Now, you'll feel a small puff of air in each eye." "What?" "A small puff of air." "Now, come on!" "Here we go." "One, two, three." "I'm sorry." "All right." "I'm gonna stay in here this time." "Ready?" " One, two..." " I'm sorry." "You know what?" "I'm gonna hold her head." "That's okay." "I'm sorry." "You're young." "You don't have glaucoma." "So it was very, very nice to meet you, sir." "What are you...?" "Are you crazy?" "You got a small, minor infection in that left eye." "Take these drops for a week and you'll be as good as new." "No, I don't put things in my eye." "We'll see you here in three months." "And I'll fit you for a glass eye." "Give me the damn drops!" "Dr. Miller?" "P" " E-C-F-D." "Very good, Monica!" " You know where they are." " I sure do." "And you don't get one." "You know, those eye drops are a miracle." "My eye is 100 percent better." " They're still in my coat." " Damn!" "You ready to go?" "How cold will it be there?" "Will all these sweater vests be enough?" " What?" " I love you." "I wish Ross was coming with us." "I'll miss him." "Thanks." "I just got that jerk out of my mind." "Is the movie putting us up in a big hotel suite?" "Not really." "It's an independent film." "We don't have a big budget." "I'll stay in your room." "Once you get paid, you'll be springing for a suite." "They must be paying you a lot." "For every dollar Shutterspeed makes one penny of it goes right in Joey's pocket." "You don't get paid unless it makes money?" "Did you not hear the plot of the movie?" ""She's been dead for 10 years."" "I'm gonna be a millionaire!" "I wanted to say goodbye." "And to see if you guys would place a little bet for me." "Twenty bucks on black 15." " You got it!" " All right." " You remember the number, right?" " Yeah, black 13." " Black 15!" " You got it." " All right." "Bye-bye, now." " Bye, you guys." "I'll say bye at the car." "Anyone wanna say bye to me at the car?" "I'll say goodbye to you at the car if you don't mind the pus." "See you!" "But wait a minute." "The pus is good." "It means it's healing." "Hey, Pheebs." "What you reading?" "Hello?" "Come on!" "Sorry, I didn't see you there." "Pheebs, are you mad at me or something?" "If you are, please tell me what it is I did." " Lf you don't know, I can't help you." " I don't know." "Well, I can't help you." "Well, whatever it is, I am very, very sorry." "Okay?" "Apology accepted." "So we're good?" "I'll see you later, okay?" "Bye, fat-ass." "All right!" "Will you please tell me what it is that made you so mad at me?" "I don't know!" "I don't remember!" "What do you mean, you can't remember?" "I was so focused on being mad at you, I forgot what it was I was mad about." "If you can't remember, can't we just forget about this?" "Oh, no." "I am mad at you." "I know that much." "But I'm sorry about the fat-ass thing because you have a sweet, little heinie." "I'm getting pretty tired." "You'll have to take over soon." "We've been driving for a half-hour." "You haven't looked at the road once." "Don't worry." "It's out there." "Maybe I just need lunch." "You wanna eat?" "My treat." "Isn't that Ross' money?" "Ross' treat." "Where do you wanna eat?" "I don't know." "I know how we can decide." "I'll ask you questions." "And then you have to answer real fast." "So clear your mind." "Clear it right out." "Clear it out." "It's all clear except for this image of a small, purple lamp." "Is that all right if that stays in there?" "I don't see why not." "I guess." "You have to answer with the first thing that pops into your head, okay?" " Would you rather be too wet or too dry?" " Too dry." " Do you believe in ghosts?" " No." " Will this movie be my big break?" " No." " What?" " Yes." " Dude, you said, no." " I also said, yes." " This won't be my big break?" " No." "I don't believe this." "Look, I just don't want you to get your hopes up too high." "What are you talking about?" "I'm the lead in a movie!" "They're not even paying you!" "This doesn't sound like a real movie!" "I don't know why you're dumping all over my big break." "I don't think this is gonna be your big break." "Are you on this trip to make me feel like a loser?" " I'd rather be alone." " You don't want me here?" "Not if you're like this." "The next time you ask me a question like that, I'll lie." "I don't want you on the trip." "Why don't you pull over." "I'll get out now." "Fine." "Get out." "You can't stop on a bridge." " Get out!" " Fine!" "Wait!" "Wait!" "There's no sidewalk!" "Yeah." "I'm gonna die here." "Are you mad at me because my hair gel smells?" "Because I said your handwriting is childlike?" "No." "That made me feel precious." "Because he's always correcting people's grammar?" ""Whom, whom." Sometimes it's "who"!" "Yeah?" "Sometimes it's:" "Did you beat him at a board game?" "He's such a baby when he loses." "Okay, I'm the baby." "Hey!" "Stop it!" "What are you doing here?" "Joey kicked me out of the car on the bridge." " Why?" " I don't know." "He went crazy." "We played that game where you ask questions and answer fast." "That game should not be played without my supervision." "I don't know what made him mad." "All I said was that this wouldn't be his big break that it wouldn't do anything for him and that it didn't sound real." "Okay, he should've pushed me off the bridge." "What's in the bag?" "I figured you'd be mad at me so I got gifts that I found on the roadside." " Who wants the one-legged teddy bear?" " I do!" " Not even close." " I need help!" "I can't do this." "Come on." "Let's do it." "Sit down." "All right, put your head back." " Now open your eyes." " Okay, they are." " How many fingers am I holding up?" " Four." "I was thinking four." " Really?" " Yes!" "Why don't we start with a practice one." " No drops." " Great!" "On three." "One, two, three." "My pillow's all wet!" "Well, you said it was practice!" "Why did you move?" "I knew you were lying!" " Come here." " What are you doing?" "Stop it!" "Oh, my God!" "I am going..." "Turn it over!" "I am going to get get these drops in your eye." "Oh, my God!" "You really are freakishly strong." "Stop!" "Stop!" "Stop it!" "Damn, it's empty!" "If Joey and Chandler walked in now, we could make a fortune." "That is definitely Chandler, Joey or Ross." "Or Rachel." "It's Joey." "Chandler told me what happened." "He's really upset." "Not as upset as he'll be when he finds out what I did with his sweater vests." "What did you do to them?" "There's a well-dressed pack of dogs in Ohio." "I gotta ask Phoebe something about the car." "Hold on one second." " Hey, dude." " Hey, Pheebs." "This wooden box keeps sliding out." "What is it?" "My grandma." "And thanks." "She's having a great time." "Is that Joey?" "Let me talk to him." "Chandler's here." "He was wondering if..." "I guess he ran out of change." "How am I gonna apologize to him if he won't even talk to me?" "Send him something." "So when he gets there, he'll know you're sorry." "That's a good idea." "I wonder where I could get a basket of porn?" "No, don't say, "I'm sorry," with porn." "You should send him a carton of cigarettes." "Because that way he can trade it for protection." "No." "That's prison." "I know how we're gonna figure this out." "Clear your mind and answer the first thing that comes into your head." " Do you like flora or fauna?" " Fauna." " Simon or Garfunkel?" " Garfunkel." " Why are you mad?" " You said I was boring." "When did I say that?" "Oh, my God!" "I remember now!" "We were playing chess." "Phoebe, you and I have never played chess." "Remember that time on the frozen lake?" "We were playing." "You said I was boring." "Then you took off your energy mask and you were Cameron Diaz." "There's a chance this may have been a dream." "So this entire time, you've been angry with me because of a dream?" "Well, guess what, now I'm mad at you." "I wanted to make sure this wasn't a dream." "Otherwise we're wasting our time." "Stanley!" "Your leading man is here." "Let's get to work." "Slight change of plans." "We've shut down." "What?" "Why?" "It's a money thing." "We don't have any." "You're kidding, right?" "What?" "It's probably just temporary." "We're hoping to get some money soon." "Just hang out." "Hang out?" "How long?" "I don't know." "A week." "Maybe two." "The money will turn up." "People always wanna invest in movies." "You're not rich?" "Worth a shot." "Well, Joey, let me know where you're staying, okay?" "Hey, pal." "Are you Joey Tribbiani?" "These got left for you." "Thanks." ""Congratulations on your big break."" " Monica, it's Joey." " Hey, Joey." "You remember me even though you're a star." "Come on." "It'll be years before I forget you." "What's it like on a movie set?" "Do you have a dressing room and a chair with your name?" "Yeah, yeah, I got all that going on." "Tell Chandler he couldn't have been more wrong." "I gotta go, Monica." "My sushi's here." "Sorry about that." "Thanks for waiting." "Everybody smile." "Thanks a lot." "Enjoy your stay at Caesars." "We hope it's toga-rific." "Kill me." "Kill me now." "Rach, can you pass me the TV Guide?" "Go!" "What are you doing?" "Get off!" "Oh, my God!" "Hold it open." "Okay." "We'll see you in about three or four hours." "robinson_crusoe" " Pheebs, could you get that, please?" " Why?" "Just because you're too lazy to get up off your tushy?" "No, it's just that all the people in the world I would want to talk to are right here." "Sucker." "Hello?" " Hey, Joey!" " Hey, Pheebs." "I need a favor." "I forgot the PIN to my ATM card." "Can you get it for me?" "Sure." "Where is it?" "I scratched it on the ATM machine on the corner." "So you're 5-6-3-9?" "That's it!" "Thanks." " Wanna talk to Chandler?" " Let me talk to him." "He didn't believe in my movie which is a big mistake, because it is real." "Real." "Tribbiani, get back to work." "Break time's over." " Who was that?" " My stunt double." "Yeah." "He's getting a little too familiar for my tastes." "I've tried to apologize." "If I can't do it on the phone, I'll go and do it in person." "I heard that." "Can you put him on?" "Don't come out here." "I support you 100% and I wanna prove that to you in person." "I got that." "I forgive you." "Don't come out here." "You haven't taken my calls for a week." "I'm totally over it." "Friends forever." "Don't come out here." "Would you mind doing a picture with us?" " What was that?" " Entertainment Tonight." "Good talking to you and don't come out here." "The One in Vegas" "Monica?" "I'm sorry I'm late." "I'm so sorry." "Have you been here long?" "That's okay." "What the hell took you so long?" "You can't tell Chandler." "I ran into Richard." " Which Richard?" " The Richard." "Richard Simmons?" "Oh, my God!" "No, my ex-boyfriend Richard." "You know, the tall guy, mustache." "Okay, that actually makes more sense." "How was it?" "It was really nice." "We talked and I had lunch with him." "That's weird." "I dreamed you had lunch with Richard." " Really?" " Again, Richard Simmons." "Go on." "The strange part was he was really nice and he looks great, but I didn't feel anything." "So why can't we tell Chandler?" "It'll freak him out and tomorrow's our anniversary." "I don't wanna spoil it." "I can't believe you guys have lasted a whole year!" "Wow, I owe Rachel 20 bucks." "On a totally different bet." " It's almost our anniversary!" " I know." "One year ago today, I was just your annoying friend Chandler." "Now you're just my annoying friend Chandler." "I got you a gift." " It's not till tomorrow." " I know, but you have to open it today." "Okay!" "There you go!" "It's two tickets to Vegas!" "Yeah!" "For this weekend!" "It'll be perfect." "You'll see Joey, plus, we'll start our celebration on the plane." "We can call it our "Plane-aversary."" "Do we have to?" "This is great, but Joey didn't want any of us there." "He doesn't want us to go to any trouble." "He'll be excited when we surprise him." "Plus, we get to have our own "Anna-Vegas-ry"!" ""Anna-vada-versary!"" "I think we should see other people." "We can go, right?" "Great idea." "I'm gonna go too!" "Pheebs, it's kind of our anniversary." "You won't ditch me like you did with London." "Ditch you?" "You were pregnant..." "Great story." "I'm going." "Listen, this weekend we're all gonna go to Las Vegas to surprise Joey!" "Including me!" "Do you wanna go?" "I can take a couple days off work." "Of course you can take a couple days off, because this trip includes me!" "I've got a presentation tomorrow." "I can't miss that." "I've got tickets to the Van Gogh exhibit." "I waited a year for this." "Art lover." "What'd you say?" "I said, art lover." " Was that supposed to be an insult?" " I don't know, I'm very tired." " Rach, maybe we can fly out Saturday?" " Sounds great." "I'll call the airlines." "That'll be nice to have the apartment to myself." "To walk around naked." "No, so I can be by myself." "Have a little alone time." "Naked alone time." "Just because I'm alone doesn't mean I wanna walk around naked." "You live alone, you don't walk around naked." "Why does it takes me so long to answer the door?" "So far, is this trip to Las Vegas better or worse than the trip to London?" "So far, it's pretty much the same, Pheebs." "What about after I give you these candies?" "I guess it's a little better now." "Las Vegas, 1." "London, 0." "I'll be back." "Happy Plane-aversary." "I love you." " Can I give you your present now?" " Okay!" "Oh, don't tell me I did this." "I love "I forgot the present" fake-out!" "How about "I did forget the present, forgive me" not fake-out?" "You can give it to me when we get back." "This is the worst thing that could happen." "You decided to tell him about the Richard thing." "What "Richard thing"?" "Oh, no." "What "Richard thing"?" "Simmons." "Go with Simmons." "I ran into Richard yesterday." "He asked me if I wanted to go for a bite and I did." "I didn't tell you because you'd get mad and I didn't wanna spoil our anniversary." "I'm not mad." "Really?" "So you bumped into Richard." "You grabbed a "bite."" "No big deal." "Great." "Okay, London, 1." "This is gonna be a real horserace." "Oh, look what happened." "Check me out." "I'm in my kitchen  naked." "I'm picking up an orange." "I'm naked." "I'm lighting the candles." "Naked." "And carefully." "Oh, my God!" "That's Rachel, naked!" "I can't look at that." "I am looking at this." "Okay, vivid colors, expressive brush strokes." "Unless she wants me to be looking at that." "She knows I'm home." "She knows I can see her." "What kind of game is she playing?" "I think maybe someone's lonely tonight." "Dr. Geller." "Stop it." "You're being silly." "Or am I?" "Love to love you baby" "Love to love you baby" "Love to love you baby" "Darn it!" "May I come in?" "Yeah, if you want to." "Do you want me to?" "Yeah, sure?" "So do I." "Okay, Rach, before anything happens I wanna lay down a couple of ground rules." "This is just about tonight." "I won't go through with this if it'll raise the question of "us."" "I just want this to be about what it is." "And what is that, Ross?" "The physical act of love." "What, are you crazy?" "So you weren't trying to entice me just now with your nakedness?" "Oh, God." "You saw me?" "You weren't trying to entice me with your nakedness?" "You actually thought I wanted to have sex with you?" "Oh, wow." "I'm sorry." "But, Ross, you kicked off your shoes." " Can we just forget this ever happened?" " Of course." "You're right." "I'm sorry." " Thank you." " Yes." " I guess I'm gonna go pack." " Okay." "Wait, one more thing." "Do we still need to settle the question of "us"?" "Hey, you guys, wait!" "You guys." "This place is much better than London." "A lady dressed like Cleopatra gave me this." "Ninety-nine cent steak and lobster dinner." "You don't eat animals." "For ninety-nine cents I'd eat you." "I can totally settle down here." "It's got everything I could ever want." "Including Joey!" "Look!" "Look!" "Hey!" "Oh, my God." "Love your condoms, my man." "Why are you here?" "I told you not to come." "Why are you dressed as a gladiator?" "Because I'm shooting a scene right now." "I play a gladiator." "Hold on a second." "Can we cut?" "My friends are here." "I'm gonna take a break." "Who are you talking to?" "The director." "Her." "All right, it's not a gladiator movie." "I work here." "Why?" "What happened?" "The movie shut down." "Ran out of money." "I'm working here till it starts up, if it ever does." " I'm so sorry." " Such a drag." "Sorry I didn't tell you." "I'm sorry." "Apparently there's a new policy of not sharing." " I knew you weren't okay with that." " So you're a gladiator!" "What's going on?" " Monica had lunch with Richard." " Dawson?" "But that would've been so cool!" "Her boyfriend Richard." "It meant nothing." "After all this time, how can you not trust me?" "When you go lunching with hunky men and don't tell me!" "You're right." "I'm sorry." "I should've told you." "Thanks." " There we go." " Now I love Vegas." "I promise you next time I absolutely will tell you." " "Next time"?" " So close." "There won't be a next time." "You cannot see him again." "I cannot see him?" "You can't tell me what to do." "That's funny, I think I just did." "If you act like this, I won't be around you." " Fine." " Happy anniversary!" "Guys, please!" "Come on, come on." "This is obviously a misunderstanding." "No, it is not." "Don't look at me." "I just work here." "Okay, Ross?" "I'm a little warm, so I'm gonna be taking off my sweater." "Now, I'm just letting you know this is not an invitation to the physical act of love." "Yep, that's hilarious." "I'm sorry." "I'm done." "I'm done." "You know, last night was embarrassing for you too." "No, not really." "You've seen me naked hundreds of times." "But it was a first for the rest of my building." "That's true." "But I just don't embarrass that easily." "What?" "You totally get embarrassed." "No, I don't." "Ross, I think I'm just a more secure person than you are." " Is that so?" " Yeah." "Hey, lady!" "I don't care how much you want it, okay?" "I am not gonna have sex with you in the bathroom!" "You know, in Roman times, this was more than just a hat." " Really?" " Yeah, sure, sure." "They would scrub the floors." "They'd use it to get the mud off their shoe." "Sometimes underneath the horse would get dirty." "So they would stick it right..." "I can't believe this is how I'm spending my anniversary." "I'll take you someplace nice." "A guy tipped me $ 100." "He was playing blackjack for an hour and he won $5000." "Can you believe that?" "If I won $5000, I'd join a gym." "Build up my upper body and hit Richard from behind with a stick." "Wait!" "Why don't I just do what that guy did?" "I'll take this $ 100, turn it into $5000 and I'll turn that into enough to get my movie going!" "Good luck." "I don't need luck." "I've thought this through." "I see." "Thanks." "I can't believe this." "This is like the worst night ever." "You had a minor setback in your relationship." "Big deal." "It's only Chandler." "I am so sorry." "This is crazy." "Such a stupid argument..." "I don't wanna see Richard." "So go fix it." "Find Chandler." "He's probably in your room." "Tell him sorry and you love him." "You're right, Phoebe." " Thank you." " Sure." "Yeah!" "Las Vegas!" "Number one!" "Anybody lose this?" "Coming out." "Place your bet." "Dice her out." "Yellow 11." "Pay the front line!" "So I'm on my way back to the bathroom." "All right, all right." "Just keep walking, all right?" "What are you...?" "I am sorry, sir." "I think he just really likes you." "You know that teacher who had a baby with her student?" " Can I help you?" " Yes." "Do you have any extra pants?" "My friend seems to have had a little accident." " Can I change $ 100?" " Changing $ 100." " Good luck, sir." " Thanks." "That's right." " Thirteen." " Hit me!" "Oh, man!" "Wait!" "You are not gonna believe this!" "I have found my identical hand twin." "What?" "My identical hand twin!" "What's an identical hand twin?" "What does it sound like?" "It's a guy with my identical hands." "It was incredible." "The dealer's hands were exactly like mine." "It was like looking at my hands in a mirror!" "You sure you weren't looking at your hands in a mirror?" "Don't you see what this means?" "I can forget about that stupid movie." "I'm gonna be a millionaire!" " How?" " I don't have it all worked out yet." "But it's gotta mean big money." "Come on, identical hands!" "Again, I must go back to how?" "This is Vegas, man." "People will pay to see freaky stuff!" "How much would you pay to see this hand twice?" "I can't really put a price on that." "Are you un-supporting me again?" "I support you 100%." "I just didn't get it right away." "Now I'm caught up." "Identical hand twins." "It's a million-dollar idea!" "Right?" "I know." "Okay." "All right." "What's that for?" "Well, I gotta document this before that dealer gets off his break." "I found my identical hand twin!" "Oh, you're so lucky!" "So where's Monica?" "Did you guys make up?" "But she just came up here." "That was Joey." "I wonder where she is?" "It's so weird." "She's probably talking to Richard." "Would you stop that?" "You know what she said after her lunch with Richard?" "She didn't feel anything for him." "She loves you." " Really?" " Yes." "She feels terrible." "She really wants to make up." "You've gotta find her." "Good." "I should really start wearing hats." "Welcome to Las Vegas." " Did you enjoy your flight?" " I did." "Thank you very much." "It was excellent." " I hope you had a nice flight." " Oh, it was the best." "I think the check-in is that way." "Kids love me." "Hi, you guys are here!" "What'd you do?" "Did you go to a costume party?" "Let me guess." "Pancho Villa." "And you're Bob Saget." "Pancho Villa?" "What are you talking about, Pheebs?" "I don't..." "Oh, my God!" "You drew on me?" "Hey, you wet my pants!" "What kind of party was this?" "I've been walking around like this?" "You have so crossed a line." "Rach, wait." "The men's room is that way." "It's the third time she's won on a machine I was playing." "I bet she's one of those people." "Mole people?" "What?" "No, a lurker." "What's that?" "When you're playing a machine and it hasn't paid out a lurker waits for you to give up and then..." "Kills you?" "They swoop in and steal your jackpot." " How do you know about this?" " My nana used to do it." "That's how she paid for my dance..." "Karate lessons." "Dance karate?" "Yes, it's a deadly but beautiful sport." " It won't come off." " What?" "It won't come off." "Oh, my God." "Rach, are you sure?" "I took it off and then I drew it back on." "Rach, I'm sorry." "I'm so sorry." "I'm sure we can get it off, okay?" " Just give me your pen." " Why?" "What are you gonna do?" "Well, I believe I'm going to stab you repeatedly." "Not here." "There are cameras everywhere." "You made it!" "Who's your friend?" "He's hot." "Thanks, man." "Listen, I talked to Chandler." "And I'm sorry about the movie." "Don't be sorry." "I don't need it anymore." "I found my identical hand twin." "Your what?" "My identical hand twin." "The person whose hands are like mine." " Were you looking for this person?" " Not even." "This thing is a gold mine." "What?" "That won't make you any money." "Well, fine." "None of you will live with me in my hand-shaped mansion." "Except you." "You can live in the thumb." "All right, baby, come on!" "I am on fire!" "See you later." "What are you doing?" "What's it look like?" "Going home." "Why?" "Wait." "Sorry, I was just playing for one second." "If you don't want me to see Richard again, I won't." "He means nothing to me." "Oh, come on." "I was there." "I know he's the love of your life." "Not anymore." "Really?" "Really." "All right?" "Let's forget about going home and celebrate our anniversary." "Okay, this is empty." "I wanted to make a dramatic scene, but I hate packing." "Where's the other guy?" "Which guy?" "Tall, dark hair, hand looks exactly like this?" "I don't know about the hands, but he went to the restroom." "How you doing?" " Very busy." " Right." "Okay." "Yes, hello." "I have a question." "I used your pen to draw on my friend's face." "A beard and a mustache." "Thank you." "No, she didn't think so." "I know." "It's like..." "Anyway..." "Makeup didn't cover it, we've tried everything and nothing's worked." "What do we do?" "Thank you." "Yeah, it's not coming off." "What?" "What else did he say?" "He said he thought I was funny." "Okay, look." "Let's just go downstairs we'll have some fun and you will forget all about it." "There's no way I am leaving looking like this!" "Come on, Rach." "It's not that bad." "Ross, I am a human doodle!" "Just because some idiot drew on your face doesn't mean you can't have fun." "Besides, no one will even look at you." "This is Vegas." "Hello?" "There are tons of other freaks here." "There are tons of freaks here." "No other." "No." "Come on." "No one will notice." "I swear." "There was some staring and pointing." "I need a drink." "They really overcharge you for that stuff." "But who cares, because it's all on me." "That is one big drink." "Macadamia nut?" "Wow!" "That's some pricey nut." "Really like those macadamia nuts?" "Nope." "Get out of here, you lurker!" "Go on, get!" "You made up." "I couldn't be mad at him for too long." "She couldn't live without the "Chand love."" "Get a room." " We have one." " Use it." "Bye, Chandler." "Bye, Mon." "Pheebs, Pheebs." "Please pick up a house phone." "You have a call from Chandler and Mon." "Hello, Chandler and Mon." "Hello?" "You dirty lurker!" "I'm sorry, you are the same old lady, right?" "Yeah." "Dirty lurker!" "That's right." "Take good care of those babies." "Excuse me?" "It's me." "Joey." "Do I know you?" "Joey?" "Yeah, the hand guy." "So, what are we gonna do about this hand twin thing?" "Nothing." "Look, you and I have been given a gift." "We have to do something with it." "Like hand modeling." "Or magic." "And you know NASA's gonna want to talk to us." "I have to get back to work." "We can have our own show." "We can clap our hands together." "People will love it!" "And I wrote a song for us." "This hand is your hand" "This hand is my hand" "Oh, wait, that's your hand" "No, wait, it's my hand" " That's okay." " But you haven't even heard the chorus!" "Oh, my God." "I look like my great-aunt Muriel." "All right, you know what?" "We don't have to go downstairs." "We can bring Vegas up to us." "All right, come on." "We'll play some blackjack." "Here we go." " Thirteen." " Hit me." "Twenty-three." "Which is what we play to at this casino!" "You win 10 dollars!" " I bet 20." " Right." "A new pair of shoes for the Chan-Chan man!" "I've never seen a roll like this!" "That's right, baby!" "What do I want now?" "Eight?" " Six." " Pick a number!" "That is your only job." " Eight." " Thank you." "If you get this, we buy everybody a steak dinner." "Eight it is." "We're not buying steak dinners, are we?" " No." " Okay, good." " What do I want now?" " Try a hard eight." " What?" " Two fours." "Eight!" "Don't you let her go." "You're a lucky guy." "Thank you, Mr. Drunken Gambler." "You get this and we get the biggest suite in the place." "We get the biggest suite in the place." "The biggest suite in the place!" "Come on!" "I love you!" "I can't remember why we fought." "Because I had lunch with Rich..." "Me neither!" " What now?" " Another hard eight." "Hard eight?" "Let's call it easy eight!" "I'll tell you what." "You roll another hard eight and we get married here tonight." "Shut up!" "It just got interesting!" "What did you say?" "You roll another hard eight, we get married tonight." "You serious?" "Yes." "I love you." "I've never loved anybody as much as I love you." "I've never loved anybody as much as I love you." "So if an eight comes up, we take it as a sign and we do it." "What do you say?" "That's a four." " And where's the other one?" " Under the table." "Nobody move!" "You look that way, I look this way." "Here it is, here it is." "That could be 4 or 5." "It's your call." "It's a four." "I think so too." "Oh, well, lost again." "That's it." "You and me." "Outside!" "I wouldn't want you to lose a chunk of that pretty blond hair!" "Be cool." "Okay, your lurking days are over." "What?" "Everyone you lurk, I'll lurk first." "You move on, I'll be one step ahead of you every single time." "And then I'll be on your ass every hour of every day till Monday because that's when I go home." "When do you leave?" "Also Monday." "What time?" "Maybe we can share a cab." "Hit me." "Hit me." "We need more cards." "Yeah." "And we also need more drinks." "Hold on a second." "Hello, Vegas?" "We would like more alcohol." "You know what else?" "We would like some more beers." "Oh, I forgot to dial." "That must be our alcohol and beers." "It's Joey!" "I love Joey!" "Oh, I love Joey!" "Joey lives with a duck." "Look, I need some help, okay?" "Someone has to convince my hand twin to cooperate." "I'll do it." "Whatever you need me to do, I'm your man." "Are you okay?" "Yeah." "Fine." "Thanks." "Hey, Rach?" "How you doing?" "I'm doing good, baby." "How you doing?" "Don't let her drink anymore." "Here's that macadamia nut." "No, something else." "So, what do you wanna do now?" "I wanna get out of the room." "I really miss downstairs." "Okay, you know what?" "There is only one way I am leaving this hotel room." "Well, hello!" "I'm Ross." " Good luck to you." " Sir, you've got a little something..." "Hello." "I won!" "I won!" "I finally won!" "I won!" "That was my quarter!" "Take a hike, toots." "Excuse me, sir." "This lady played my quarter." "This is my money." "Is that true, miss?" "Sells drugs to kids." "She sells drugs to kids." "It was my quarter." "Was it her quarter?" "How about we talk about this over dinner?" " Okay, lady, you're out of here." " No, you can't arrest me!" "I won't go back to that hellhole!" "I'm just taking you outside." "I need something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue." "Here's something blue and new." "You are so efficient." "I love you." " Let's go." " No, wait!" "We need something old." "I have a condom in my wallet that I've had since I was twelve." "That'll work." "I don't think so." "Now something borrowed." "Here, just take this." "That's stealing." "We'll bring it back." "Put it under your dress." "Okay." "One thing at a time." " Are you gonna play?" " No, I don't really have any money." "Not yet, anyway." "Can't sit here if you don't play." "My name is Regina Falangie." "I'm a businesswoman in town on business." "Would you like to see my card?" "What did I do with my Filofax?" "I must've left it in Conference Room B." " Fourteen." " Hit me." "Oh, my God." "May I just say that you two gentlemen have the exact same hands?" "They're identical." "I've never seen that in the business world." "Stop it." "Miss Falangie, may I ask you a question as an impartial person at this table?" "Please stop it." "Wouldn't you pay good money to see identical hands showcased in some type of an entertainment venue?" "If you leave now, I will chop off my hand and give it to you!" "Didn't I just throw you out?" "No, you threw out Phoebe." "I'm Regina Falangie." "Falangie." "Come on, lady." "Please take him too." "Me?" "Oh, come on, man." "Come on, buddy." "Don't let him do this." "Come on!" "I'm your hand twin!" "Hello." "One marriage, please." "We want to get married." "There's a service in progress." "Have a seat." "All right." "What are you doing?" "The "Wedding March." Does that freak you out?" "No, it's the graduation song." "This is it." "We're gonna get married." "You sure you wanna do this?" "Hello, Mrs. Ross!" "Well, hello, Mr. Rachel!" "Wait." "Okay." "robinson_crusoe"