"It's very respectful." "A good guy, though." "How're you doing?" "Wish me luck." "Thanks, but I don't drink." "Ah, you smoke, but you don't drink?" "Well, I shouldn't do that either, but you know what?" "I thought that bridesmaids were not allowed to smoke." "I guess I'm not a very good bridesmaid then." "Don't be too hard on yourself." "The only real requirement is that you fit into the dress." "How am I doing?" "You're doing good." "I was an alternate anyway." "The original 7th bridesmaid had broken her leg in a freak accident." "¡®Course she swore, you know -  that she'd intended to invite me earlier... but ahm... yeah, well..." "You know how it goes..." "I don't actually." "Tell me." "Well you?" "You could say" "I had a history with one of the other guests." "A history?" "That sounds interesting." "Oh no, it ain't." "It's terribly boring." "No, actually that's not true." "I love history." "all those distantly related royals fucking each other ending up in tragic diseases and with retardate children." "But this is the sad, dull, real people kind." "Mistakes repeated endlessly." "Lessons ... unlearned..." "Thanks." "I don't drink." "You smoke, but you don't drink." "Well, I shouldn't do that either." "I am trying to quit." "One bad habit at a time." "So the bride's 8th closest friend" "I've thought about this." "As far as I see it well the only absolute fact is that" "I'm not one of the top 7 friends." "I mean on such short notice she certainly could've asked and been rejected by several other alternatives before she invited me." "Or you could be the only person she knew who would potentially fit into the dress." "Yeah." "Therefore, not a friend at all." "just a living mannequin to complete the insane symmetry of 7 best men and 7 bridesmaids." "Alternatively... you are one of her 7 closest friends, but the history you mentioned before when the original 7th bridesmaid... was taken up by the freak accident." "It gave the bride courage to to revive the treasured relationship." " No." " No?" "I don't think so." "because we were never all that close even when we were close." "There was a two-week when though - when we were almost friends." "I think." "But Mmm, I haven't spoken to her." "I haven't spoken to any of these people for that matter, for ten years now." "So that's why a pretty girl like you is standing all by yourself." "Some of these people used to be my friends but they aren't any more." "I get tired playing the catch up game£¬ you know" "...stuggle to remember who I am." "And then the endless repetition of ...what I been doing and who I've been doing..." "You know after I finish my prepared speech ...I just lot of ... blankly you know - besides this..." "I see." "These used to be my ex-husband's friends." "Not mine." "So why are you here then?" "I asked myself that very question when I was getting on the plane." "and I could only come up with two reasons neither of them very good." "What were they?" "Curiosity." "And... maybe because I just knew I shouldn't." "Something tells me you're trouble." "And maybe because I had enough miles to make a trip for free." "That's three reasons." "Attention, all the single women." "Susie's about to throw the bridal bouquet." "Let's take it outside." "Ah, sweet." "Isn't that your queue?" "I'm not single." "You said ex-husband." "Yeah, I did." "you remarried?" "2 years." "It's just a ring." "Gold, round." "married women aren't supposed to be bridesmaids." "Who says?" "Bridesmaids are brides in training." "They are practicing." "It is just a custom." "Bridesmaids are suppesed to be virgins." "Well, I didn't see any virgins out there" " did you?" " I didn't check." "Anyway, I told you I was a bad bridesmaid." "That's what you get when you call on a second string." "editorial note 17." "Only one good dancing couple" "Let's go to them when we need some dancing." "Everybody else, let's speed up or slow down or black and white, or sepia tone." "May I have a... a Shirley Tempers please." "Did your husband come with you?" "No." "He couldn't." "Not on such short notice." "What does he do?" " Do?" " for living." "Oh, he's a cardiologist." "We live in London." "tell me, you... um... married?" "Not any more." "I I just have a girlfriend." " serious?" " Not at all." "But I like it." "In my opinion, when it gets too serious, it's over." "What?" "I just know... your kind." "I don't know if I like that." "I know you so well." "So... your girlfriend, where is she?" "No, she's not here." "She works on Saturday nights." "She's a professional dancer." "Not that kind." "No." "She's in a Broadway show." "Must have a lovely figure." "Oh, she does." "She does." "Very lovely." "She works for it though." "Is there something wrong with working for it?" "Well, sometimes I wish I weren't so acquainted with the care and maintenance of Sarah's figure." "Takes some of the romance out of things." "Right." "You know what?" "I'll tell you something." "Every woman has to work for it." "The ones that claim to be "naturally thin"" "the ones that claim that they can eat everything they want to they are the ones working hardest of all." "The illusion of effortlessness requires a great effort indeed." " Sarah." " Yeah, that's her name." "Yeah, I know, you said." "Pretty name." "Almost like a poem in two syllables." "Sarah." "Sarah the dancer." "I can almost picture her." "Did your cardiologist have a name?" "Jeffrey." "Jeff." "Tell me." "How old is, uhm, Sarah the dancer?" "Oh, she's a... she's a college graduate." "Her age?" "she's a recent college graduate." "Yeah, like 21?" "22." "But She's 23 on August 12th." "23 on August 12th." "Well, That's a very beautiful age." " Why did you wanna know?" " You know I wanted to know." "Maybe..." "I wanted to know because I wanted to know." "I wanted to know if you were flirting with me." "What does Sarah's age have to do with that?" "I am the same age as you." "I think." "And... well, a man my age who prefers 23 on August 12th might not flirt with someone who is well, let's just say 15 years past 23 on August 12th." "That's an interesting theory." "Yeah." "What would Jeffrey the cardiologist think?" "Well, he hates it of course, he hates it, but hey, you know what?" "He is in London and I love cigarettes." "Don't let daddy find out." "Who makes you think that Jeffrey is older?" "Is he?" "a little bit, I mean, he's 45." "How might be being a doctor's wife?" "A bit better than being a lawyer's wife." "My first husband was a lawyer, you see so I have experienced both" "And what's the difference?" "The lawyer wore nicer suits." "you know, I do remember you from before." " Really?" " Yes." "I even remember the first time I saw you." "I was 19." "You were the same." "It was a barbecue in Cape Cod." "And everyone else was in this long line for the buffet and you were lying under a tree reading a book." "What was the book?" "It was something... do you know what it was?" "It was something by Jane Austen." " It was "Persuasion."" " You're making it up." " No, I'm not." " Yes, you are." "I can tell by the tone of your voice." "Why would you say that?" "People do it all the time, you know." "Make up little details." "connect truths with half truths." "It's story telling" "No, it is memory." "You were wearing..." "I'll tell you, you were wearing one of those tube top thingies." "No, true." "It wouldn't be advisable on someone but on you let's just say that the effect was charming." "You know what?" "I certainly remember that top and so it was not charming." " I thought it was." " So, you remember you remember the top but you don't remember the book." "Well, I have an excellent memory for things what I want to remember." "Really?" "People say that, and I used to agree." "But, God, the older I get the more I'm aware of the of the perversity of the human mind." "I mean I forget what I want to remember ...and then..." "I just remember what's utterly useless." "I walked up to you and, of coure you were incredibly annoyed with being interrupted." "Whatever the book was you were totally absorbed in it." "And I said: "I don't know if you know, ...but the food is ready."" "And You looked up at the line passingly and you answered me" "You said:" ""The food will wait."" "I never said that." "Yes, you did." "You said: "The food will wait."" "And then you waved me away with your left hand like I was your servant." "Not it won't." "How come I never heard this history before?" "Because I never told it before." "It's fiction, isn't it?" "it's based in truth, I assure you." "Well that's interesting, but it doesn't help your argument because most fiction it is based in truth." "clever." "Yeah, I am clever." "Ah, good." "I knew I'd find you." "You're the last two people." "What, on the Earth?" "Right." "Right." "Funny." "No." "You're the only two people... who haven't done your video testimonials." "Testimonials to the bride and groom congratulating them for their choice naptuals and wishing them health and happiness and bla, bla, bla." "Like that." "But wouldn't it just be more hearfelt if we did it in person?" "This is for the wedding video." "For posterity." "Yeah, if it's for posterity ...okay, how do I look?" "God!" "She looks great, man!" "I'm sorry, it's just kind of a..." "Don't worry about him, he's just trying to get laid." "Susie!" "I'm, I'm certainly glad that I could be here to share your special day." "Could we go back, without the clap?" " Okay." " Just don't clap." "Don't c..." "Okay, All right then." " Okay... ready?" " Action!" "Susie!" "Well,..." "I'm certainly glad that I could be here to share your special day." "And although I haven't spent much time with Dave..." "Dan." "Dan." "Sorry." "Yeah, right." "I just..." "Although I haven't spent much time with Dan or even spoken to him for that matter am, well, he certainly looked very nice in his tuxedo." "Am, So so..." "I'm not angry that you didn't invite me until... you know - the last minute because, you know what?" "If you had I probably would've thought about it too much and wouldn't have come at all." "So, what I'm essentially trying to say is... that I'm really glad that I could be here to share your and Dave's..." " Dan!" " I know!" "I knew it!" "Your and Dan's special day because... well, hey, a wedding comes only once in a lifetime, doesn't it?" "Or twice, in my case." "But hopefully it's just once for You." "Delete this down, will you?" "No, it was great." "Really heartfelt." "Okay." "Ready?" "And... action." "Congratulations, sis." "That's how it should be done." " That's it?" " No, well she took up a lot of time." "Hey, sure it's sweet." "I love it." "I love it." "Great." "Have fun." "Okay, am... camera note 201A." "Pretty British or possibly Australian girl in the pink, totally unusable." "Blond guy... unusable, ...but apparently the brother... so let's find a way to get him in." "You relly don't like Dave, do you?" " Dan." " Yeah, Whatever." "You don't." "No... well..." "I do like him, it's just that..." "Why do you ask me that?" "Well, because in the thing you just you only mentioned your sister." "All right, I mean, I don't really..." "I don't know Dan." "He's a..." "I mean if Susie's happy, than..." "I mean, look," "I don't wanna talk about Susie and Dan." "what does Dan do for living?" "He's a lawyer and... 'cause we're both in the same firm." "you can't object to that then." " Object to what?" " His profession." "Well, maybe I'm a self hating lawyer." "Are you?" "Is there any other kind?" "You see, I introduced them." "Yeah, I brought Susie to the company X-mas party." "You brought your sister as a date?" "Well... you think that's weird?" "No, it's just because when I go to company functions" "I like to have somebody that I can count on." "Well, more like having a woman that you know that won't make a scene." "More like." "Look, I had just been divorced ...and I wasn't dating anybody, so..." "Ah, what about 23 on August 12th?" "Well, she was still in college." "high school more like." "Touch?" "Yes, I forgot." "I don't wanna talk about Susie and Dan." "we're not talking about them, We're talking about you." "Everyone on the dance floor it's the last dance and then we're gonna call it a night." "Congratulations, Susie and Dan." "Do you dance?" "You know what?" "I find there isn't much of an occasion for it these days." "I used to danced quite often before I... well, 20 or 25." "but that was in a night club, or a party or something." "But now that I am, well, older than 25 I don't find there's an occasion for it." "I just..." "I guess the dancing phase of my life is over." "I'm afraid my skill atrophied." "Maybe I should've been a little bit more clear." "I meant would you dance with me." "I knew what you meant." "I was just stalling" "I didn't know what to answer." "Well... come on." "For old times sake." "Old times were only good, If we hadn't let them go old." "you'll regret it if you don't." " Will I?" " Yes." "I know you." "You will think about it in the elevator to your room." "You'll think about it when you're eating room service by yourself" "You'll think about it on your plane back home when you should be watching a ... movie" "You'll think about it 10 years from now when you least expect it" "Jeffrey the cardiologist will ask what's wrong ...and you won't be able to answer." "And he'll interpret this there's a growing coldness between us." "And coldness transforms into separation... and before you know your marriage is over." "And all this because you wouldn't dance with me at this wedding." "Okay." "But I won't go on the dance floor." "Fine." "Dance floors are depressing at the end of the night." "They feel like funeral." "Hang on." "Is this okay?" "I know how old you are, you know." "I know." "Then why always hesitate when you say your age?" "I don't!" "Because it's getting to be a surprisingly large number ...and I don't like how it sounds." "When I say it sounds like a lie." "I'm the same age as you." "Oh, please!" "I shouldn't have to tell you that it's different for men." "You call more attention to it when you don't say it bluntly." "Mmm." "Good advice." "I'll remember that." "So how did you meet your husband?" "After the divorce I moved from New York to London." "You certainly wanted to get away." "Yeah, my heart was broken." "So you married a cardiologist." "That's not good." "You don't like my joke?" "Every woman that has ever married a cardiologist has had to have that joke ... for a moment." "Okay." "Sometimes I wish I'd married a gynecologist." "I'm sure the jokes are much worse on the wives of gynecologists." "Not necessarily." "So after the divorce you moved to London." "After the divorce I moved to London and let's not talk about this." "Why?" "Because if I talk about London then I'll talk about Jeffrey." "And if I talk about Jeffrey then I'll feel too bad about what I know I'm going to do ...and then I won't do it." "Yeah?" "What're you gonna do?" "Don't be clever." "I don't like it when you're clever." "God." "Clever payed better 10 years ago when I had the youthful arrogance to go with it." "Yeah, what pays well now?" "Sincerity, when I can fake it." "Wisdom would, if I had it." " Well, they all went..." " I don't know." "Could we have another drink, please?" "We're alone in the house!" "For the longest time" "I used to think I saw you in the street." "Up until last year even." "And then turns out you are in London." "And you've been there how long?" "Nine years." "Nine years!" "nine years..." "A woman's about your hight ...and about your hair colour and that weren't you." "Nine years... a walker's gesture that suddenly sent me running down the street  my heart racing..." "Somebody you once... thought you knew very well... can leave the country without you even knowing it." "Of course." "You don't know me very well." "True." "That is very true." "you know, you're killing me." "But it's true." "And you are here how long?" "My plane leaves at 6." "I guess I'll leave the hotel at 4." "I was so last minute I could only stay a night." "The curse on the seventh bridesmaid." "I mean you should go to bed." "You are right, I should." "I'll probably just go upstrairs and watch TV." "They want us to leave." "Do you think?" "Where shall we go?" "Well, I should go up to my room and you should go home to Sarah the dancer." "Or we could stay here." "Do you want to watch television with me?" "Do you think I should?" "I think you will anyway." "Hang on." "What?" "If we go in we're committing to a course of action." "We're going into a 30 second elevator, all right?" "Let's just stand here a second." "Hi...!" "What's everybody looking at?" "Oh, my God!" "I'm so tired..." "I didn't realize the elevator come here." "Ah, you poor thing!" "Isn't that funny?" "Ah, you know Susie told me you came all the way from London, England." "And you what were you waiting for?" "Ah, ladies first." "Oh, you are so polite!" "Ladies first." "And what floor are you going to?" "I don't know!" "God!" "Honestly, I don't remember." "I'm 11." "11." "Okay." "That's funny." "Nice dress." "Thanks." "You look better in it actually." "Ah well, you know..." "So... do you know each other, or...?" " Yeah, we..." " No." "Well you do, or you don't?" "Oh, we used to." "We used to." "You know." "In another life." "Aha." "How is Sarah doing?" "Good." " Yeah?" " Yeah." "good!" "Yeah." "She wasn't here tonight, was she?" "I didn't..." "No?" "No." "She ..." "She had to work." "Ah, Dancing." "Oh, God talent!" "She is so beautiful." "Amazing." "Amazing." "And so..." "Skinny?" "And flexible." "Skinny and flexible." "I just..." "God I would murder someone for her body." "I just... there is no-one hotter in the world than Sarah." "Give Sarah my best if you remember." "Good night." "Okay." " Bye." " Bye." "Will that cause much trouble for you?" "I don't even know what to say." "I mean£¬whateve." "It doesn't really matter." "God, people should... mind their own business." "Is that Sarah the dancer?" "People should mind their own business." "That woman" "That woman is meaningless." "She makes everything consequential." "What do you mean consequential?" "You know." "As though there'll be consequences." "What woman?" "The woman?" "you know?" "in the bridesmaid's dress." "What woman in the bridesmaid's dress?" "The woman in the elevator." "There wasn't a woman in the elevator." "I don't remember the woman in the elevator." "There wasn't a woman in the elevator." "I didn't see a woman in elevator." "I mean..." "What about Sarah?" "Never heard of her." "Your girlfriend." "I don't have girlfriend." "And Jeffrey?" "Who?" "My husband." "Never met him either." "I have." "You're not feeling well, are you?" "I should take you straight to bed." "Which way is it, by the way?" "It's this over here." "Here's the key." "You have a message." "I do." "Won't you check it?" "No." "I already know who it is and know what he's saying." "So it's a he." "Of course it's a he." "He's my husband." "But what does he want?" "Well, he wants to know how I am." "He wants to know... you know if I enjoyed myself at the wedding." "He wants to know if I remembered to please a wake-up call." "He wants to.. you know - tell me the minutiaes of his life and hear mine in return." "This is what husbands and the wives do, you know." "No." "He wants to check up on you." "No." "He trusts me." "You know what?" "I'm very reliable." "Yeah?" "You never used to be." "Get out!" "You know what?" "That it's enough to say that there are lots of things that I used to be that I am no longer." "And there are lots of things that I'd never thought I'd be that I unexpectedly am." "Well," "What?" "I'm here." "Yes." "So you are." "What now?" "I don't know." "I wonder..." "I wonder what two lonely people in a hotel room do when no-one's watching?" "What makes you think that I'm lonely?" "23 August 12th." "I'm not lonely." "I don't believe you." "you are lonely too." "Everyone is lonely." "Of course I'm lonely." "One day I woke up in a strange country surrounded by strangers." "You didn't have to go." "I wanted to be alone." "Why are you here?" "To fuck you." "To fuck me?" "Yeah." "And then to go home..." "That's all right." "Fuck me and..." "And to be the 7th bridesmaid at my sister's wedding." "Yeah, and that too." "Yep." "Christ, what would Susie think?" "Susie?" "She's a sweet girl." "She doesn't think of anyone but herself." "You might as well strip then." "Excuse me?" "Take clothes off." "Ah, yeah?" "Yeah." "So I can get a good look at you." "I like to see what I'm getting into." "All right." "What?" "Oh, my God, you are fat." "I'm sorry." " I am not!" " Yes, you are." "You're far fatter than you used to be." "And you are far crueller than used to be." " I'm s..." "I didn't mean it..." " Am I fat?" "I didn't mean it in a bad way." "It was an observation." "If it was woman, we wouldn't be having sex right now." "I'm sorry." "Come on." "How much did you put on£¬Like 15 pounds (=7 kilos)?" "15 pounds?" "you see?" "Not you are exactly obese." "I wouldn't even call you portly." "Ah, thank you." "I'm sorry." "Come here." "It was just something... it was just different." "I didn't expect it." "You used to be so thin." "I mean you were insubstantial, really." "God, the complements keep coming." "Yeah, but now..." "Now, you know what?" "Look at it this way." "There's a grandness to you." "Like, you know, the rings in a tree trunk asserting the passage of the time:" "Like "I have earned the right to fill up more space in the one universe."" "That's bullshit." "I tried." "Sarah keeps trying to give me a diet." "Sit down." "Relax, 'tree trunk?" "God." "What does 23 on August 12th know about life?" "You know, it is funny, because I feel like you're a little boy and I'm an older woman." "We're exactly the same age." "Yes, but somehow I feel like so much older than you." "How much do you think that is?" "God, I wonder why we're doing this." "This didn't help anything before, did it?" "And this so not gonna help anyithing." "God, you put that champagne in front of me." "I knew it going to happen." "I looked at that glass and I thought:" ""Fuck." "Fuck." "Fuck, fuck, fuck."" "No, it's not funny." "I am married to a well-respected cardiologist and I so try to do the right thing but there is... there's something about you it sends me... in the opposite direction." "And it's not gonna turn out well." "There are no happy endings in our future." "I know that." "Do you?" "I knew." "Okay." "Dress off." "need help?" "With that top." "What would you have done without me?" "Stuggled." "You might've been stuck in that bridesmaid's dress for the rest of your life." "At least until I've got back to London." "London." "Should I call you if I were there?" "No." "No way." "You wouldn't recognize me, anyway." "I want you to listen to me." "After." "No." "Now." "A woman never has a man's focus ...as much as she does before the sex." "Come on." "Speak up." "You can't carry on living like this." "And?" "That's it." "That's all I wanted to say." "Okay." " Thank you." " You're welcome." "What's this?" "It's a scar." "Is it new?" "Not so new." "It's new to me." "Ah, how did you get it?" "I was riding my bike." "you still race?" "No, it wasn't a race." "I was riding my bike and was hit by a car." "No!" "My poor thing." "Was it serious?" "I was in hospital for six months." "you shouldn't have been alone." "I wanted to be alone." "Why didn't you call me?" " I thought about it." " But you didn't." "I guess not." "I would've come." "I know." "I like knowing that." "You go away for so long and you come back to me damaged." "I'm sorry." "All this land was once mine." "Yep." "Now it belongs to someone else." "Yep." "It's like when you drive by your childhood home and find another family living there." "Well, come here!" "If I told you that I love you that I've always loved you that I loved you to distraction ...would you leave him?" "No." "What are you thinking?" "That it's probably a mistake." "Are you already thinking that?" "you shouldn't think that until at least 20 minutes after we're done." "And what are you thinking?" "I'm thinking about that girl I used to know lying under a tree" " Don't think about her. - ... reading a book." "Why?" "I can't compete with her." "you don't have to compete with her." "Liar." "You don't have to do this." "As if the act in itself mattered." "it does matter." "It's technicality." "Don't you know what we've already done?" "Your skin is different from I remember." "The texture is different." "How?" "Rougher?" "No, not rougher." "It's more papery that it used to be." "You sweat more." "And you smell." "Thanks." "And you're fat." "Your hair is shorter." "Yeah?" "I liked it long." "Ah, I bet Sarah the dancer has long hair." "No." "I bet she does." "Show me a photo." "I don't have one with me." "Well, send it to me then." "I don't know your address." "If you don't have a photo of Sarah the dancer on you it means that you... you don't love her." "I know what she looks like why do I need a picture?" "To show other people." "Where are you going?" "To the bathroom." "Is that all right?" "Can I come?" "No." "You have one new message." "Press 1 to listen." "Message received 2:31 p.m." "Hello, gorgeous girl." "sorry we missed you." "Everyone's fine." "Elsie wanted to say something to you before bed." "Hi." "Remember to get me the snowboard." "Okay, mommy?" "And something for me too, but it doesn't matter what." "How magnanimous for you, Gwennie." "We'll try to call you in the morning." "Make sure you take a photo in that bridesmade's dress that's for me, by the way." "I love you." "Everybody saids they love you." "We love you!" "Come soon." "Bye-bye!" "I love you." "Call early if you want." "I'm going to take a run" "End of the message." "Message deleted." "Hi." "Hi, babe, it's me." "I didn't wake you, did I?" "No." "Ah, it was... it was dull." "Boring, boring, nothing" "Nothing much happened." "I missed you." "Yeah." "Do you mind if I use the phone?" "It's fine!" "Could you leave that by the door?" "I'm sorry." "Didn't know you were on the phone." "Hm?" "Right." "Ah, it was just room service." "Yeah, I know I shouldn't eat this late but the food on the... plane was horrible and the food at the wedding was really, really horrible." "Hm?" "Tip?" "Oh, tip!" "Of course, thank you." "Ah, God, I'm so gone." "Just gone." "One second." "Have a good night." "Ah, thank you very much mamm" "It's very generous of you." "You look very nice tonight" "Enjoy your stay" "Hi." "Yeah, the waiter was very friendly." "I'm having... you know..." "French fries" "French onion soup," "And, um, French toast, I think." "And a pickle!" "Hm?" "Yeah, it's all very French except for the pickle." "I'm still thinking about it." "No, I'm still thinking." "Yeah." "Um, okay, okay." "Well, can I...?" "I'll phone you before I get on the plane." "All right." "Yeah, I love you too." "Okay. ..." "Bye." "I didn't know you were on the phone." "I saw your feet under the door." "Well, you recovered well." "Anyway, it was good." "It's quite easy to lie once you get started." "Well, sorry." "You could've put me in a really awkward situation." "I knew you'd be ingenious and you were it." "Yeah, but what was the point?" "To see you scorn." "That's not very nice." "I wanted him to know I existed." "Him?" "Jeffrey, the cardiologist." "Look, he knows you exist." "How wouldn't he know it?" "You don't have any secrets?" "No." "Nothing significant." "No." "So you will tell him you made love to me tonight?" "Maybe, some day." "Somehow, I doubt that." "Jeffrey." "Jeffrey the cardiologist." "Hallo, Jeffrey?" " Shall I call him?" " No." "Shall I call and tell him what you just did?" "No!" "Would that spoil things between you?" "It might." "Why would you wanna do that?" "Would it ruin things so much that you couldn't go back to London?" "No." "Not that much because I have a job there, and a dog, and a home." " And a husband." " And a husband." "Hello, Jeffrey?" "The cardiologist?" "Yes." "I'd like to make an appointment." "My heart's been broken." "Now, you wanna play that game." "Now, I get to phone Sarah the dancer." "Go ahead." "You don't care?" "No, not really." "That's awful." "Well, it is was it is." "I hate that phrase." "sounds like dying." "What was your ex-husband like?" "You know perfectly well what he was like." "Refresh my memory." "No." "Honest, I can't remember." "The memory starts to go around 40, you know." "He was red, he was kind of yellow." "And black, pink, orange and blue." "Magenta, indigo." "A little ocher. and Turquoise." "Hey!" "What does that mean?" "I don't know, it's what I see you when I close my eyes." "Come on!" "That's a bullshit answer." "Ask nicely." "I loved him. ...but sometimes people who really love each other" "Well, they have the uncanny knack for making each other miserable." "And now?" "And now I'm happy." "I'm happy." "Of course I'm happy." "Of course I'm happy." "Yeah, I am." "Sometimes I long for a little misery, though." "It can be terribly romantic." "My ex-husband made me deliriously miserable." "You're too kind." "Not at all." "It's the truth." "Do you wantna know what my wife was like?" "Your ex-wife, you mean?" "Yes, my ex-wife." "Do you wanna know?" "No." "I have no interest in other women." "She was a great fuck." "Wow." "She was a great fuck." "And a great friend." "You know, I have to confess I I checked the message." "You know he called, but you couldn't be bothered." "remember the blinking red light?" "In fact it's really annoying during sex." "Why?" "I just wanted to know what he sounded like." "What did he sound like?" "Like Elvis Costello." "I've never really thought about it." "Maybe a little." "Foreign, cool." "I hated him immediately." "Why would you like him?" "I hated it with a passion that I didn't know I was capable any more." "For my sake?" "Yes, for your sake." "Of course for your sake, silly little girl." "I'm not a little girl any more." "Don't you wanna know what his message said?" "No." "It said that he loves you and misses you." "He wants you to call you before you leave." "He's going for a jog." "He'll be up early, so don't be afraid to call." "Thank you." "Yeah." "I mean..." "To tell you the truth..." "I well, I just expected more." "A soliloquy from "Hamlet?"" "No, but he was just all so ordinary." "I mean, the man that marries you should be extraordinary." "Extraordinary." "God, I'm done with extraordinary?" "I'm too old for extraordinary?" "And how old would that be?" "been too straight for extraordinary for some time now." "And that's my fault I suppose?" "God, you'd love to think that, wouldn't you?" "You'd love to imagine that you ruined me for all the other men." "Would you amuse me in something?" "Probably." "This might be unpleasant for you to hear that there is some things that I would like to say in fact that I need to say." "It won't matter anyway." "Okay, probably it won't." "Sad old story that everyone's forgotten" "I mean, Crist, I've even forgotten most of it." "No, don't say that." "Well, I have." "Of course I have." "If I haven't, I wouldn't be here." "When it comes to it it's just stories of girls you used to know... wearing foolish striped tube tops." "No, I thought about it." "You weren't wearing a tube top." "It was a dress... it was blue and white stripes but the top was cut like a tube top." "Yeah, I know, I remember the dress." "What about the book?" "I don't know...it was something by it was Danielle Steele." "I never read Danielle Steele!" "I never read Danielle Steele." "I so not read Danielle Steele." "It was written by a woman." "It was "The House of Mirth" by Edith Wharton." "All right." "That sounds about right." "Not about." "Exactly." "Okay." "You were lying under a tree reading a book by Edith Wharton." ""The house of Mirth."" ""The house of Mirth."" "And it was an end-of-summer muggy Cape Cod day." "Actually there was a breeze." "And everyone else was in line to get food" "I could tell you didn't wanna be disturbed ...so I said I don't know if you know but the food's ready." "And you said the food will wait." "And then you waved me away like I was your servant but I won't be deterred." "So I took you by the hand and I said no, it won't." "Your book dropped to the ground." "You took me by surprise." "And I don't know why but I kissed you on the mouth right then, and there." "How long were we married then?" "Six months." "Not so long, really." "No, not so long." "And then what happened?" "Well, it was the end of summer" "We moved back to the city." "And then?" "Well, you buy curtains you walk the dog you cook meals for two you finish school and you have sex once in the morning and once in the night." "Sometimes twice." "But sometimes you are alone." "Sometimes you wait." "Your husband is young, foolish and careless." "No." "And you are pregnant." "No." "And you ran away." "You went as far as you could get." "You went to London, met a cardiologist and you married him." "Now, straight to the bed." "Is that the ring I gave you?" "No." "It looks like it." "It's a ring, it's a wedding ring." "It's gold and it's round." "What happened to the husband?" "The first husband." "Well, he... sometimes he thinks about ending it." "That is so not like him." "Well, sometimes you can't bear it." "The loneliness." "Then one day you're at a wedding... and a man sets a champagne flute in front of you." "You tell him you're not drinking." "The man makes stupid jokes." "The man thinks that if he talks fast enough the woman might not notice." "Might not notice what?" "That it's the same man." "That it's the husband." "Her husband." "It'd be as if she's meeting him for the first time." "Does it work?" "For a while anyway." "She takes him to her hotel room." "But as soon as the lights go down she recognizes him." "She is one of those... who see things better in the dark." "And then?" "And then..." "It's all over." "It's over." "You could leave him." "I don't want to." " You could leave him." " I won't." " You could leave him." " No." " You..." " No!" "You don't know what I was gonna say there." "It was reasonably sure." "Now you'll never know." "It's gone forever." "What were you gonna say?" "You are 38 and you look it." "Fuck you!" "And then it's over to 39..." "Right, and then 40, and after 40 you may as well die." "Thanks." "If the cardiologist... decides that you're too old and decrepit and ugly to be at all lovable..." "I am available to tolerate you in your golden years." "Thank you." "You're welcome." "I'll walk you, I'll water you and I'll feed you..." "Will Sarah the dancer live with us?" "Of course not." "No, Sarah the dancer'll settle down with a nice boy of her age." "Can you throw her over for me?" "She left me." "Wisely." "Will we still fight?" "Not at all." "No." "We're passed all that." "Will we play bingo on Sundays nights?" "Yeah, except when we're travelling." "Where do we go?" "Huh, Guam, Paraguay, Botswana..." "Nowhere particular." "No." "We just... take the globe and then spin it and go wherever our fingers land." "And have sex, huh?" "Why, you know what?" "I'll be totally indisposed since I've turned 40 so there isn't much of that." "It works better that way probably." "Yeah." "We sleep in separate beds." "Yeah, but sometimes I push together." "Why?" "Because I remember what you looked like... before you're ravaged by old age of 40." "So once a week I will close my eyes and I rub up against you a little bit." "That's disgusting!" "But you tolerate me because you know that I love you." "Well, yeah." "You know you're just a dirty old pervert." "Yes, I am." "But I'm your dirty old pervert." "Lucky me." "And when we're really, really old we agree to end it." "We'll take poison like in Romeo and Juliett" "And will hold hands and both our hearts will stop." "And both of our hearts stop." "Only my poison like Juliett's, is an act." "It's a false elixir." "So you think I'm dead, but I'm not." "Right, I forgot that part." "Yeah." "So about ten minutes after you died for good..." "I wake up." "And what do you do?" "Well, I'm really sad that you're dead now but..." "I'm having second thoughts." "I was never a 'suicide-kind of girl." "So I pack my bags... and I take the first plane back to London, to Jeffrey." "How romantic." "Yeah." "Fuck!" "What time is it?" " It is late." " How?" " It is late!" " How so late?" "I should lie to you." "It's 3.15" "Shit!" "I'm gonna get into..." "Can you just make sure My stuff's packed, please?" "Well, I'm glad I ran into you ...glad that we saw each other after all this time." "have imagined it so often, you know?" "Tomorrow I'll wonder if it even happened at all." "I'm glad I ran into you!" "Somehow I feel so much lonelier than before." "Yeah..." "God, I used to think I could call you go out to lunch, get married." "How simple is that." "The promise of all those high school physics film strips fulfilled." "Your spilled milk leaps back in the pitchers." "Broken teacups miraculously reassemble." "time really can... you know... time... time really can move in two directions." "time really can move in two directions." "It doen't matter universe anyway." "Which is to say..." "Which is to say..." "Which is..." "I don't know." "Which is to say that I I think everything could still turn out." "Now everything seems much more definitive." "Seems so much more real." "It seems much more final." "Now milk once spilled cannot unspill?" "And a broken cup is always be a broken teacup." "You know it's funny 'cause... everyone thinks they shouldn't mention you to me." "No, but the omission..." "The omission only makes it worse." "Well I like to hear about you sometimes." "I love you." "For better or worse you can take that with you on your travels." "Shit." "Were you saying something?" "'cause I couldn't hear with the shower on." "No, nothing important." "That's Jeffrey." "That's nice." "That's Maggie." "She's 4." "And that's Elsa, she is 8." "And That's Gwen." "She's the eldest." "She's gonna be, um..." "Well, she's gonna be 12 in two weeks." "They look like a handful." "No, they're not that bad really." "Are they...?" "Are they yours?" "Oh, no." "God, no." "No, they belong to another woman." "What?" "From his first marriage?" "Yeah." "Did you check all the drawers?" "Oh, yeah." "They're all empty." "I couldn't get your bridesmaids dress in the bags... so you probably have to take it separately." "You know what?" "Can you just return it to your sister for me?" "You know what?" "She could maybe sent it to the original 7th bridesmaid." "No." "Not I don't think that would be a very good idea." "I guess that's not." "You could keep it." "A memento of your conquest." "No." "Sarah might ask questions about whether or not..." "Yeah, I suppose." "You know what?" "I don't care." "Just... throw it away on your way house?" "I don't care." "Some dustbin or something..." "Hang on!" "That's not quite what I had in mind." "Hello." "Oh, hang on, one second." "It's for you..." "I think our phones must've got switched." "Hello?" "Sarah, Sarah... she's just a friend of mine." "All right?" "Hold on." "She wants to talk to you." "Is that Sarah?" "Me?" "Honestly I'm no-one, I'm just an old friend." "An old friend, just like goes back ten years." "Listen." "No-one to worry about at all." "Mind you, knowing your boyfriend as I once did..." "I completely understand if you find that hard to believe..." "Yes, we bumped into each other at the wedding... and spent all night catching up." "Yeah." "I mean, mind you, mainly because I'd... really wanna stay up and switch time zones 'cause I'm just about to get on a plane." "I live in London... and I just got here yesterday." "I'm about to take a flight back right now." "Five minutes." "But thank you very much for phoning me because if you hadn't phoned now, we wouldn't have realized that we'd actually swapped phones." "Yeah, I guess we do." "I haven't really thought about it, but I guess we do." "No, no, no, it's all right, don't worry about it." "I completely understand." "Do you wanna speak to him?" "Okay." "All right, I give him the message." "All right, take care." "Same phones." "Funny, huh?" "Yeah." "You're meeting her for breakfast at the diner near your apartment." "She understands everything by the way." "What did you say?" "That we used to know each other, and we bumped into each other at the wedding ...and spend all the night catching up isn't it funny?" "Our phones got switched..." "But hey, better we could get that now rather than later ...because I'm about to take a plane to London." "If you're ever in London... um, basically, I told the truth." "The truth mostly." "Everything important." "What about the sex?" "Fuck the sex." "You know I was thinking Maybe I'll take a shower." "Right, take a shower." "You have the room till noon." "After that you're on your own." "you know?" "Maybe I'll..." " maybe I'll come down now, after all." " No shower?" "No, let's go down together." "Somebody might see us." "Nobody remembers who you are." "Sorry." "And everybody expects me to behave badly anyway..." "You could've just said it's early." "It's early." "There's cameras in here." "No-one cares about that." "Guess, you are right." "Maybe this securuty guard thinks we're two newlyweds starting their new lives together." " It's light." " No, I want to, please." " I want to." " No, it's very light." "Why did you come?" "Really." "Do you want me to say I was hoping I'd see you?" "Yes." "And I want you to mean it." "You're so romantic." "By romantic you mean I'm old fashioned?" "No, by romantic I mean romantic." "Hang on. you know what?" "Do you mind getting rid of these for me?" "Why?" "My husband doesn't know I smoke." "you care which way I go?" "I don't care." "You care which way I go?" "No." "My sister got married last night." "Congratulations." "it don't matter this hour anyway but some people have a preference." "I think she's gonna be very unhappy." "I don't care." "Ah, I wouldn't worry." "These things always work themselves out." "You're not from around here, are you?" "Are you married?" "Yeah." "No." "I used to be...but not any more." "Are you happy?" "Happy enough." "Good for you." "It's good to be happy." "But it's so fucking hard, you know."