"#A man can walk proudly down in the street" "#A man's not ashamed of what he believes" "#He knows how to laugh He knows when to cry" "#He knows how to live He's not afraid to die" "# What is a man?" "What is a man?" " (COUNTRY AND WESTERN MUSIC PLAYS)" " MAN:" "Right, behind, right, close, left, behind, left, close." "Step, kick, kick, kick, step." "Kick, kick, step." "Stomp, stomp, slap, slap." "Lasso, lasso." "Forward, close, back, close." "Stomp, stomp, slap, slap." "Lasso, lasso." "Forward, close, back, close." "Stomp, stomp, slap, slap..." "Oh, beautiful." " Go on, Carl, sort them out." " Come on, you." "CARL:" "Out!" "Try and bring a bit of culture into people's lives and all they wanna do is brawl over their girlfriends!" "Still, it's a great night, Mickey." "Don't let that spoil it for you." " Yeah?" " Yeah, it's going down a storm." "Well, hog roast outside, next year." "Yeah, maybe." "How is it you've not had a dance yet?" "Well, I'm overseeing'." "Take my Gloria for a spin." " She needs the practice." " (COWBOY ACCENT) After you, ma'am." "(IMITATES MICKEY) After you, ma'am." "Gavin?" "Are you up yet?" "We're gonna be so late." "(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS)" "FAITH:" "All right, Dad?" "LEN:" "Wotcher, Faith." "Where d'ya park your horse?" " Vodka and tonic?" " Yeah, ta." "Yeah, she's a natural, ain't she?" "What will Gavin have?" " He's not comin'." "That's why I'm late." " What's happened?" "He's still at home, in bed." "He come home from work this lunchtime drunk as a lord." "Some bloke's leavin' do." "Goes to lie down for half an hour." "I say I'll wake him when I get back in, only now I can't shift him." " What?" " I'm sorry, love." "It's just..." "We've all been there." "Slight liquid miscalculation over the ploughman's lunch." "Next thing you know, it's bed or bust." "Well, he could've chosen a better day, couldn't he?" "Come on, I'll dance with you." "But be warned" " I'm less clumsy than your mother, so you'd better be on your mettle." "#..." "I ain't missing you" "# Since you've been gone away" "# I ain't missing you-u-u-u-u... #" "# Can't take my hands off of you" "# You're so sexy, it's true... #" "She was here when I got in." "Oh, she is beautiful, isn't she?" "She's like one of them little cherubs." "Oh, they smell gorgeous when they're asleep, don't they?" "What?" "I quite like being married to you." "I remember watching you do that to Faith... 25 years ago." "And look at you both tonight - drinkin', dancin'... her all grown up." "25 years, Len." "Feels like yesterday." "I still can't believe it." " We got there, didn't we... in the end?" " Hm." " Happiness." " Happiness!" "Well, I dunno." "I mean..." "I've been thinkin' a lot about that lately, you know, how everything's worked out." "I..." "I do feel happy." "I feel we're where we're supposed to be, at last." "And all that's left now is this clear, blue horizon - everything ahead." "And it's wonderful." "Mum..." "Mummy." "Hello, darling." "Er, Dolores..." "Oh." "Dolores..." "Dolores!" "Oy, Len, that was super!" "Don't get many in Latin these days, do you?" "Lovely!" "Thoroughly enjoyed that." "It was like bein' in The Omen." "I don't think that's quite the atmosphere they're trying to evoke, Carl." "Gloria, what you doin' here?" " IRWIN:" "Good day, Gloria." " Hello, Irwin." "Boys." "I was just passing this way, so..." " You having your break?" " Yeah." " Don't fancy a walk?" " Well..." "Oh, carry on." "We don't need to set off for another 50 minutes yet." " Yeah?" " Yeah." "Lovely!" " Bye." " See you later." "See you, Len." "You know, I'll say this for Carl." "He can track down the best confectionery anywhere in London." "It's fantastic!" "Len, what it was..." "The reason I come to see you..." " What?" " Shall we sit down?" " (CHILDREN SHOUT PLAYFULLY)" " Yeah, why not?" "There isn't an easy way to say..." " I mean..." " Gloria, what's up?" "I never said anything before cos... you in and out of prison, nothin' settled, babies coming along." "It never seemed the right time, only... it is ours - the future." "You're right, there's just you and me and..." "Darling, please, I mean, tell me." "Whatever it is, just tell me." "We've been married over 30 years." "I mean, there isn't anything..." "I slept with Mickey." "Just once, Len." "Just one time, years ago." "Mickey?" "Mickey... at The Bob, Mickey?" "It was after you went inside that first time, for that first stretch." "I was..." "I didn't know what to do." "I was 19." "I was on me own and Mickey was, well... bein' Mickey, you know, and helping', and... it was comfort more than anything else." "It wasn't about..." "I'm not makin' excuses, Len." "I'm just sayin' it was that time, you know, and... and... it just happened." "Sexual intercourse just happened." "You and Mickey... my mate Mickey... just happened" " to have sexual intercourse." " Len..." "No, I'm sure it happened quite naturally." "I'm sure you were nearly in love." " Len, please..." " No, please, forgive me." "Gloria, you are not allowed to get upset with me because you got dirty and sweaty and on your back with my mate Mickey when we were married, and you screwed around." " I didn't!" " Yeah, you were unfaithful." " No!" " Don't." "Don't you raise your voice to me." "Don't!" "You've lost the right to do anything with me, other than belly crawling', knee bleeding', guts in the dirt, sorry!" "MAN:" "You all right, love?" "Is he?" ""He" happens to be her husband, mate, and you are ten seconds away from gettin' the thumpin' I wanna give her but which I never will." " Len, please, I'm beggin' you..." " Good!" " Listen..." " Three, two, one..." "Bad luck!" " Come 'ere!" " Len, please." "Please." "Len, please, forgive me!" "Forgive me!" "Forgive me!" "It was nothin', it was..." "Well, how come it bothers you so much, then?" "If it was nothin', how come it bothers you enough to tell me?" "I wanted it out of the way, for our future." "I didn't want anything..." "I didn't want it between us, Len." "I thought we were..." "What?" "Grown-ups?" "Adults?" " No, I..." " Well, what, then?" "How did you expect me to react?" "How?" "I love you." "You don't love me." "You don't love me at all." "(SOBS)" "You feelin' any better?" " Here y'are, I got toast." " Oh." "Thanks, love." "What possessed you, Mum?" "I wanted..." "I wanted it off my chest." "I thought..." "You're mad!" "You know, it... it was nothin'." "Faith, you won't say anything, will you, to your sisters?" "Mum, if I was gonna say anything, I'd have said it years ago." "I keep secrets." "Sorry." "Oh, what have I done?" " Mum..." " What am I gonna do?" "He hasn't ever looked at me how he did in that park, Faith, ever." "That's cos..." "All he's seein' is the sex and nothing else, and that's how men are." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "I'm goin' on, aren't I?" " No, course you're not." " Soon as your Gavin's back, I'll..." "You can have the spare room if you still need it." "How long's he away for?" "I don't know." "It varies, um..." "He gets the call, goes to see such and such a client and could be days." "It depends." "I should go and see him, shouldn't I?" " Have it out." " What?" "Your dad." "I can't sit here twiddling' my thumbs while he decides if he wants me or not." " It won't come to that." " Won't it?" " (DOOR OPENS)" " Morning, Len." "What happened to you yesterday?" "We was one light." " Take that." " What's that?" " What does it look like?" " I mean, how come?" "It's my stuff, Carl." "I'm movin' out." "Here, hang on, Len." "What's happened?" "Len!" " What?" " She give you the elbow..." "Gloria?" "You don't think you should try and sort it out?" "Drive, Carl." "Now." " All right, Leonard?" " Course I'm all right." "Why wouldn't I be?" "Anyway, well done, gentlemen." "That's it now till tomorrow." " Anyone fancy a quickie on the way back?" " We can't." "Me and Carl are straight off." " Thanks all the same." " Where we goin'?" " Out... on the town." "I'm in the mood." " What, with me?" "You got a problem with that?" "(CARL SIGHS)" "Carl, for heaven's sake, what's going on?" "Nothing." "Carl, he's been like a time bomb all day." "I can't say." "It's stuff at home." "It'd be disloyal." "He's been mucking' about with other women, Gloria's sussed him out," " she's give him the boot." " Leonard?" " Carl, will you get a bloody shift on!" " Yeah, coming, Len!" "Carl..." "Carl, keep an eye on him, for heaven's sake." "With this present ague upon him, heaven only knows the trouble he's gonna get in." "No problem, Irwin." "I know the drill" " Chinese takeaway and a country pub." "Leave it to me." "(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)" "'Ere, Carl, chicken in a basket, beer on tap, wall-to-wall strippers." "I think we've covered all the bases, innit?" " I don't think this is too fresh." " As long as the show is, eh?" "Eh?" " MAN:" "Here's Tracey." " Whoa!" "Hey-up there!" "'Ere we go!" "(LAUGHS)" "(WHISTLING)" "He's very thorough, Mickey, isn't he, you know, when he puts his mind to somethin'?" "Could be fooled by that bluff, slightly stupid exterior, but, in fact, there's a right little... schemer at work." "Makes a lot of money, by all accounts, this place." "Yeah, well, it's a front." "I mean, it's a knockin' shop." "All his gaffs." "Play your cards right, Carl, you might get a bit of the old rumpy-tumpy-tumpy." " I ain't that hungry." "Shall we?" " No, no, hang on!" "Sweetheart!" "(WHISTLES)" "Come 'ere." "He don't like his food." "Get him somethin' proper that he could, you know, sink his teeth into." "Wa-hey!" "Whoa!" "Right, that's it, Len." "Come on, we're goin' home." "What?" "I've had enough." "All night, you..." "I mean, it ain't you talkin', Len." "It's everything that's gone on..." "I don't like seein' you like this." "You're acting all... irrational." "Irrational?" "Irrational..." "What, I'm acting irrational?" "You're doin' it again." "You're all wound up." "You're..." "My wife's been shagging' another bloke." " How do you want me to act?" " Gloria?" "Gloria... wife of Len the cuckold, the sap, the stooge, the patsy." " Len, come on." " No, leave me alone." "You sit there, lads, you know, with a stiffy in your pants, imagining' what you'd like to do to Tina or Tanya... and then think about your missus back at home, already doin'..." " Len!" " Get off, Carl!" "...gettin' herself right royally serviced by some kid from round the corner, some mate from work." "It's all right, I'm goin', I'm goin'." "I'm goin'!" "You think on this, lads." "I'm mean, they're not glued to Delia with her three-fruit compote." "No, they're puttin' their knees behind their ears and sweating'... for real." "So, fill your boots, lads, why don't you while you still can." "(BOTTLE SMASHES)" "(HORN BLARES)" "Hey!" "You've run over me kebab, you bastard!" "Squashed me doner!" "If you can't manage it, you don't get your money back." "I realise that." " You get quarter of an hour." " I get the picture." "No delays." "I won't." "Splendid." "Business doing pleasure with you." "WOMAN:" "What the bloody hell's goin' on?" "!" "I've changed me mind!" "L-I..." "I don't know what I'm doin' here." "I'll pay you just the same." "I've..." "I've had a bad day." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "I'm really..." "I'm not, Len." "What were you thinkin'?" "Matisse's Parlour?" "It's a dirty world, isn't it?" "Not for you, Len." "Not normally." "What's Gloria gonna say, turning' up at home" " lookin' like you do now?" " Not a great deal, I should imagine... if I know Gloria." "Nothing's happened, has it?" "Nothing bad?" " WOMAN:" "What are you doing?" " Depends on your point of view, Matisse." " Listen, Len, if there's..." " You dirty bugger!" "Matisse!" "...Go on, hop it!" "Clear off!" "That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in my life!" " What's happened?" " He's been peeing' in the vase!" " Get up." "Come on!" "Clear off home!" " Sorry, I had to go." " Oh!" " Gavin..." "Well, bugger me!" "The whole world's at it, one big, writhing..." "Len, take it easy." " Do you two know each other?" " You dirty sod!" " What the hell are you're doin' in 'ere?" " Len..." "Len!" "How are you?" "It's nice to see you." "What did he?" "You know this is a?" "Don't." "You worry about yourself." "No-one messes around with my daughters." "No-one!" "D'you understand me?" "We should ring Carl." "He'll know." "He'll be able to track him down." " Ring him, Faith." "Talk to Carl..." " In the morning, Mum." " But I..." " In the morning." "Now, I've told you already - it's no bad thing Dad's not around." "Not for a while, anyway." "So, let's just leave it like that, all right?" "Let some calm in." "(BANGING ON DOOR)" "LEN:" "I've got your pissed-up, worthless husband with me!" " Oh, my God!" " Gavin!" "L-I thought you said he was away." " Can you just go upstairs?" "Please, Mum." " (BANGING CONTINUES)" " Faith, come o..." " Oh, my God!" " Yeah, quite a sight, isn't it?" " Hello, Faith." " Guess who." " 'Ere, any lip from you..." "Come here." "Come on..." "Oh, be careful!" "All right." " Up the stairs." " Faith." "What?" " He pissed himself in a taxi." " Thanks." "I'll deal with it." "Come on, Gav." "It's OK." "Come on, Gavin." "It's OK, you're nearly there." "You look like you had a good night." "I was out... with Carl." "Where'd you find Gavin?" "In the gutter... where he belongs." " What you done with him, then?" " I put him to bed." "Probably the best thing." "No point reading' him the riot act now." "Wouldn't remember a word of it." "Give him a piece of your mind in the mornin', eh?" " D'you want a coffee or something?" " What?" " You look like you need it." " Faith, don't start on me." "I brought your husband home for you, saved him from gettin' himself in trouble, abusing'..." "Where were you again, where you found him?" "Aren't you bothered?" " What?" " You don't act like you are." "How I deal with Gavin's my business." "No, it's not." "You're my daughter." "Unless you get angry with 'em, Faith, unless you lay down the law when they step out of line, the Gavins of this world, they don't just stop, they keep on doin' it," " boozin' and womanising'..." " You take sugar, don't you?" "Faith, did you hear that?" "You got to put him in his place..." "He's done it before, hasn't he?" "Faith?" "Hasn't he?" "The bastard!" "I've told you." "It's my business, I can deal with it." " Evidently." " I can!" "Now, will you just stop takin' out all your frustrations on me?" "It isn't fair!" " It really isn't." " Frustrations?" "What?" "I know why you're behaving' like this, what's gone on with Mum." "What do you mean, you?" "What are you talkin' about, you know?" "She's been round." "She's told me." "Well, so what?" "I mean, so what?" "That's... that's like water off a duck's back to me, that is." "That's..." "I mean, that's not affecting'..." "Sod her!" " Dad..." " No, sod her." "It's done." "It's..." "So, she's been screwing around, so what?" "She made one mistake, years ago." "Nine fives are 44, that's a mistake." "What she's done..." "She's sorry." "Christ, Dad, she's sorry." "What do you want, blood?" "!" " Well..." " Dad, Mum did something..." "I'm not even gonna say wrong cos personally, I think that all depends on your own point of view, but she certainly did something that she feels she shouldn't have, that she regrets bitterly." "And the only reason she's told you about it is because of the strength of her feelings for you." "See, she's reckoning that if you feel towards her even half of what she feels towards you, you won't be able to help but see the incident for what it is - stupid and nothing." "All you see is the act and it wipes everything else - all understanding, compassion, forgiveness." "Why should I forgive her, Faith?" "Why should I?" "I'll tell you this one thing for certain, Faith." "It will never, ever happen again, unlike you and Gavin." "You, with your compassion and your forgiveness." "Where's that got you?" "He's lyin' upstairs in his pissed pants." "(DOOR BANGS)" "What happened?" "Oh, I thought I told you to stay upstairs." "What was he shouting about?" " What did he say?" " Mum..." "Please, Faith." "He's upset." "Just like I said he would be." " Everything's gonna be fine." " Yeah?" "Really?" " You really?" " I know." "Trust me." "OK." "OK." "Sorry." "I couldn't help it, knowin' he was here." "Sorry." "I do trust you." "I'm gonna go to bed." "Faith..." "You'll never leave me, will you?" "Go to sleep." "You'll feel better when you've had some rest." "Saint Faith." "Oy, Irwin!" "You've got a message from that new stonemason." "He's got as far as "No man is an l" and run out of space." "Wants to know whether you wanna keep it sort of existential or start again?" "Dear God." "Quite why Ernest had to retire, I do not know." "I'll deal with it tomorrow." "Right, then, lads." "C'mon, up and at 'em." "...You fancy it, Len?" " Sorry?" " The Bergman season." " It's Summer With Monika tonight." " I'm not in the mood for Bergman, thanks." " See you down The Bob later, then?" " No." "You can get too much of one place." "Not a pub!" "Anyway, smorgasbord, lads." "Len, I'm glad you was all right." "What?" " Last night, I was worried about you." " Everything was fine." "And Carl, I'm sorry if I went off the deep end a bit yesterday." "I..." "I totally understand." " Hurry up, Carl!" " You'd better get off." " You're gonna miss the start." " Yeah..." "Len." "I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?" "Leonard!" "Still here?" "Just... a couple of things..." "(IRWIN HUMS)" " What do you know about forgiveness?" " Sorry?" "Forgiveness, what do you know about it?" "I mean, how do you do it?" "Do forgiveness?" "I need to know, Uncle Irwin." "I..." "I need to know." "Ah." "Is this because of what's happened with Gloria?" "How'd you find out about that?" "It doesn't matter how I found out, Leonard." "I, um..." "I just know." "Now you want her forgiveness?" "What, her, forgive me?" "No, I never did anything wrong." "It was Gloria." " She was unfaithful to me." " Ah, I see." "Oh, I misunderstood." "You mean Carl didn't keep you bang up-to-date with developments?" "She was the guilty party, not me." "Only... now I..." "I spoke to Faith and what she said, I..." "I know she's right, you know, about compassion and..." "I wanna forgive her, only..." "I can't." "So, I thought maybe you could teach me." "You've already forgiven her, Leonard." " What?" " In your heart." " But..." " Just listen to what you're saying." "You want to forgive her, but you haven't the strength at the moment." "That's all." " That's all?" " You will have when the time is right." " Just hang on till then." " When's then?" "It's the moment when all sins are forgiven." "In the organised Church they refer to it as "the occasion of atonement", at one moment." "Yeah, but that's, like, the end of the world." "That's Revelation." "No, no, it's simply that instant when we come to understand ourselves totally, we realise who we are, our qualities and our weaknesses, and we're therefore able to be contrite for our failings and can be forgiven our sins," "so that goodness may re-establish itself once more." "But, Uncle Irwin... you're not gettin' me." "It's Gloria." "I wanna forgive her." "I mean, I don't need..." "Exactly, Leonard." "Exactly." "GLORIA:" "How is he?" "Um... sitting up now, which is something, I suppose." " What you doin'?" " I'm going out." "What, out out?" " Where you goin'?" " Just out." "Why?" " All evening?" " Yep." "Why?" "Nothing." "Only... if you feel like it..." "in view of... everything?" "Mum... he got a bit drunk, so what?" "I've been looking forward all week." "I'm not gonna miss out now." "Bye-bye." "(BEEP)" "FAITH:" "Neither Faith nor Gavin are in at the moment." " Please leave a message after the tone." " (BEEP)" "Faith." "It's Dad." "I'm sorry about last night." "I should never have..." "And you were right." "I mean, the things you said." "I wanna talk." "I was thinking, if you had a word with Mum, then maybe..." "Look, I'm poppin'round." "If you're not back by the time I get there, ring me later." "(HE HANGS UP)" "Gloria." "Faith!" "(CAR ALARM BEEPS TWICE)" "(INDISTINCT CHATTER)" "Hello." "Len Green." " Pleased to meet you." " Hi." "I..." " Dad?" " Oh, sorry, love." "Did I surprise you?" "Dad, if you think?" "Think what, Faith?" "This is forgiveness, is it?" "This is compassion?" "I'm sorry, I..." " I'd keep your mouth shut, if I was you." " Don't you dare talk to him like that!" " How dare you?" "!" " It doesn't matter." " See?" "It doesn't matter." "He can take it." " I'm not talking to you, Dad." " Why?" "Are people staring?" " No, because I'm having a night out." " A night out?" " Perhaps I should go." " No, you stay." " No, she's right." "Stay." " She's having a night out." " Piss off, Dad, eh?" "!" "Piss off!" "Come on!" " Whore." " What did you say?" "Whore." "You, your mother, both of you." "No wonder you stuck up for her." "Counselled." "You're just the same." "You're both as bad as each other." "How can you say that?" "I can say it because I believe it." "Bugger forgiveness!" "Anger, Faith, that's the emotion." "Anger." "It's truthful." "It's the worst of you out in the open, where it belongs." "Len!" "Partner!" "MATISSE:" "Jesus!" "Len!" "Len..." "What you doin'?" "Just gettin' in touch with my feelings, Matisse." "Come on." " Lads!" "Lads!" " They've all gone." " I can see that." " Just me and Arthur." "I wanna use the phone." "You bastard." "How did I let you ruin my life?" "(MICKEY YELLS IN FEAR)" "Yeah, quite high, isn't it, Mickey?" "Len, if this is about the Scarborough job, I thought I'd given you half." " I got the maths wrong." " Shut up, Mickey!" "Look at you." "Look at you." "I'm sorry." "Not in the mood, you know?" " All right." " OK, I'll see you around." "Bye." "...Thank you so much." "I'll give you a ring..." " Mum, where you going?" " Thank God you're here." " Why?" "What's happened?" " Your dad's attacked Mickey." "Come on, Irwin, pick up the phone!" "Come on!" "No." "Gavin, I've gotta go out again." "Will you be all right?" "Oh, no." "Please, no." "What's going on?" "I don't understand." "I'm sorry, whatever it is." "Only, let us go." "It's like The Unforgiven, or summat." "You know, one of them modern ones, where you see all the blood and the guts, and the gunslinger gets killed in the end and it's not one for all and all for one." "This is real life, Len!" "I never meant it to happen." "It just happened." "Only once, Len." "Just... just the once." "I knew you'd find out... one day." "I knew you would." "I'll tell you what, Mickey." "Because you said that, I'm just gonna push you over now." "I was gonna chop off your old man first and shove it in your mouth, but now... because you do remember what you've done, which is good, because for a while there," "I really did believe that you'd forgotten, that you had fouled up my entire life and it hadn't even registered on your memory, which is something, isn't it, Mickey?" "Your knees did make a little indentation in the sands of time." " Len, I'm sorry." " GAVIN:" "You up there, Len?" "It's Gavin." "Better and better." "Leonard is not a violent man, not deep down." "Just need to remind him of that fact." "Steady, Mickey." "You're gonna be off there, you carry on like that." "Len, look, I've just come round to talk to you." "No, Gavin, forget it." "It's done." " No, but..." " It's done!" "But what you gotta realise, Gavin, is it isn't forgotten." " What?" " I said it isn't forgotten." " Len, please!" " Shut up, Mickey!" " Gloria!" " Faith!" "Talk to him!" " Len..." " Gavin?" " GLORIA:" "Oh, my God!" " FAITH:" "What's Gavin doin' up there?" " Wait here." " What?" " Stay there." " Just..." "You see, Gavin, what you gotta appreciate is that I'm not like Faith, see?" "I haven't got the imagination to deal with your despicable behaviour the way she has, you know, the good for the goose, good for the gander routine." " Look..." " No." "No, no, Gavin." "No, I am much more of a kind of... inflict hurt and punishment sort of bloke." "Oh, no." "No, Len!" " Oh, my good Lord!" " What's he think he's playin' at?" " What we gonna do?" " It's all right." "Leonard isn't gonna do anything foolish." " (CROWD GASPS)" " Len!" "Leonard, come down this instant." "You've gotta stop fidgeting, Mickey, especially wearing clobber like that." "I mean, those boots might be all right in Arizona, or wherever it is, but up here..." "Len, please, let us down." "What's the matter?" "You havin' another of your bladder problems, Gavin?" "Please." "(TYRES SCREECH)" "I'm sorry, Gavin." "I can't do that." "Stop moaning, Rabbit." "It's not a patch on wild strawberries, anyway." " What's going on?" " Oh, thank God." "We can't get through there, he's locked the door." " Oy can pick the lock." " No worries, we're onto it." " I'm comin' with you." " No, no." "No." "It's too dangerous." "Besides, family." "It's never ideal." "Stay there." "You don't understand, Len." "There's a reason." "No, don't give me that!" "I've got a reason." "I've got an excuse." "We've all got excuses." " (BANG)" " Oh!" "Sterling work, Oy." "Sterling." " I hope you bounce." " Don't do it, Len." "Don't do it." " Stop it, Len!" " Carl!" "Stop it right there!" "You hear me?" "That's enough!" " That's a matter of opinion, isn't it?" " Ah!" " I'm not gonna let you do this, Len." " IRWIN:" "Good heavens!" "Irwin, thank God!" "Thank God, both of you." "Yeah, yeah." "Don't worry, Mickey." "Don't worry." "You understand me, Len?" "It ain't worth it, whatever he's..." "Here, hang on." "Len, you're not tellin' me?" "Takes some gettin' your head round, doesn't it, Carl?" "Old Mickey..." "No." "Mickey..." "No." "Jesus Christ!" " Get me down!" "Someone get me down." " Come on!" " IRWIN:" "Carl, be careful." " I'm hyperventilating'." "Rabbit, you stay." "We need someone out front." "IRWIN:" "Carl, count to ten." " I'm gonna faint." " You're not going to faint." " You are not..." " (CROWD GASPS)" " That's better." " Oh, dear God." "I've had enough of this." " Irwin, please, do something!" " In a minute!" "Get up there!" " Don't let go!" " Leonard, have you lost all sense?" "I came up here for a little tête-à-tête." "You've turned it into a heat of It's A Knockout." " Stop it, please!" " I'm gonna lose my temper, Leonard." "Don't." "Let me." "Faith." "What in God's name are you doin' up here?" "He's gonna make us jump!" "Of course he isn't." "Are you?" "Not him... maybe." "But him... yes." "No, you are not." " What?" " I said you are not." " I'm warning you, Gloria." " Yeah?" " Gloria!" " I heard you the first time, Len." "That's it, innit?" "This is it!" "Stickin' up for him!" "The boyfriend." "The lover." "He is your friend and you are gonna let him go." " He betrayed me." "You betrayed me." " MICKEY:" "Len, please." "Stop it now." " GLORIA:" "Len!" "Len!" " No, Leonard!" " Dad, don't!" " Len!" "No!" "No!" "IRWIN:" "Gloria, Leonard, please!" "Move." " No." " Move!" "Over my dead body." "D'you hear me, Len?" "He goes, I go." "Christ, I'm sorry." "I've said I'm sorry." "He's sorry." "We stumbled." "We sinned." "We're sorry." "What more can we do?" " It's not as simple as that." " It is, Len." "It is." "It's that simple." "We made a mistake and now we regret it." "We want it behind us and the only thing stopping' that is you." " She's right, Dad." " Don't you... don't you say anything." "I know you and your ways of coping with the odd bit of infidelity here and there." "You don't know me." "You don't know me at all." " Len, I'm beggin' you..." " Be quiet, you Judas!" "Leave him alone." "Look at him, Len!" "Haven't you hurt him enough?" "Haven't you had your pound of flesh?" "Look at him." " Listen to sense, Leonard, please!" " You don't understand... you..." "I mean, any of you, what he's done." "I had this rock, see?" "And on it I built my life, and that rock was one simple fact." "That my wife loved me." "And she still does." "She did then, she does now and she will always." "And do you know what, Len?" "It breaks my heart to tell you that." "What happened, it were never planned, it were never repeated... but in my heart, in my head..." "Bugger it." "If we're tellin' the big truths, let's just tell 'em." "Let's tell 'em all." "When I fall asleep at night, I see her face." "When I wake up in the mornin', I feel her flesh." "When I lock up The Bob at night and I look around at me miserable, pissy, bachelor," "John Wayne, Alan bleeding' Ladd life," "I sob for the one night I spent beside her... your wife, because I love her." "You had it all, Len." "The cars, the suits, the chat." "But most of all, you had Gloria and there was nothin' I could do about that because of how she felt about you." "So, if you're gonna chuck us off here, do it because your mate has designs on your missus." "By all means do it for that." "But don't you dare chuck us off 'ere because she has done anything except be yours." "Always... and for ever." "Oh... bollocks to it!" " Mickey!" "No!" " No!" "Mickey!" "(MICKEY YELLS)" "Let us go!" "No." " Why not?" " Because..." "Butch and the Kid, Mickey." "You and me... always." "Forgive me, please." "At one moment, Leonard." "At one moment." " Faith." "What you doin' here?" " Don't tell Mum." "You haven't, yet, have you?" "About Gavin?" " No." "No, I haven't." " Well, then, don't." "Please." "There's no point." "She... she'd only get upset." "I don't want to have to explain." "Just keep it a secret, will you?" " Thank you." " Faith, listen." "I wanna apologise, for what I said, what I called you." "I know I shouldn't have." "That word, but..." "Dad, it's..." "It's just that..." "You'd understand, Faith, if you had kids of your own." "I mean, you're still my little girl, that's all it is, and the grown-up you..." "It's hard sometimes to get your head round the choices your children make." "Dad, I didn't come 'ere..." "I'm not havin' a go." "I'm not, I'm just..." "Faith, I'm just..." "I'm just tryin' to explain." "We're different." "I suppose it's as simple as that." "And how you choose to lead your life now, even if it's not... you know, if it's not my way..." "Well, you're an adult and I've just gotta get my head round that." "I get angry." "You get even." "No, I didn't mean that." "Look, Faith, I'm sorry, I..." "It was our anniversary tonight, Dad." "That's why I was out." "Right." "Not the wedding." "The, uh..." "The day me and Gavin decided to get married." "The day he took me to see his parents for the first time." "And of course, they died a long time before him and I got together, so that meant a trip to the cemetery." "The cemetery I stopped off at this evening, on my way to the theatre." "Like we stopped off on our way to the theatre that night." "On our way to the National." "The Royal National Theatre." "Gavin had never been before." "He took me there because he thought it was the most sophisticated thing in the world you could do." "He wanted to impress me." "And so we sat there, on the night we decided we were gonna spend the rest of our lives together and we thought about the past and planned how we'd celebrate the future." "And there was this bloke, sitting there next to us, on his own, and it turned out that this man had had a lover, another fella, who'd died a couple of years before, but he still came back" "and sat in the same place him and his boyfriend had always been when they went to see a play." "And we kept in touch after that... and always met on our anniversary." " You shoulda told me." " I didn't have a chance." "The point is, Dad that night was... is will always be the best of times." "Nothing can touch it." "No matter what... things happen now." "And so when Gavin when he does those things..." "And I know exactly what he does, Dad, because he tells me." "...when he does them," "I go back and I remind myself of that night." "And I remind myself who it was I married, because that's him, Dad." "It still is him." "Why doesn't he do a bit of remembering, then?" "Might learn how to behave himself." "He remembers, Dad." "That's the trouble." "He remembers too well." "He knows it was the start for us that night." "He knows it was liftoff for us all the things we'd dreamed about since we first started courting, all the things we'd longed for." "Getting married, movin' in together, buying' a house." "Havin' a great big family." "And he can't." "Down there, there's something wrong." "He's infertile." "It sort of drives him mad." "He wants me to leave him." "He keeps asking me if I'm gonna leave him, but I won't." "I mustn't." "What would you have me do, Dad?" "Rant and rave at the top of my voice, scream and shout, tell him what he's depriving me of?" "It's not that I forgive him, Dad." "It's just we live with this corrosive fact and we try and deal with it, both of us." "We love each other... and we deal with it." "And that's enough." "Do you hear me, Dad?" "It's more than enough." "So, this is my anger." "A tight, trembling, clenched fist." "And it's none the less felt because it doesn't have a loud voice." " Gilbert." " I wanna leave." "You, the gang." "What are you doing still here, Carl?" "I'm rearranging the gravestones alphabetically." "We look out for each other." "We always have, always will." " (TYRES SCREECH)" " We're nearly there." "My best friend's died, I'm mourning him." " What more d'you want me to say?" " I want you to tell me the truth." "LEN:" "Just lately, dead bodies, I've been struggling." "I shouldn't be working with you, Uncle Irwin." "I don't believe in it any more." " What the hell's going on?" " What's this?" "Wide awake!" "Oh, I like that!" "Here, Carl, do my back, will you?" "No-one lets me talk." "It's like..." "Well, it's like I don't matter." "I could kick up a fuss, you know, get furious, but..." "Well, look." "Three boys, three daughters." "Me wife's beautiful." "They're all in good health and I earn enough money to put food on the table." "Me mother-in-law likes me!" "Why would I get angry?" "La vita è bella... which, on balance, it is." " Cheers." "Go and make love." " Buon appetito, amore!"