"Half for you and half for me." "Come on." "Hey." "You'll be rid of me soon." "Stop that crap." "You'll be back on your feet soon, and then you'll help me." "You can't leave me alone with your uptight sister." "She said she'd come visit you soon." "See this scar right here?" "She did that." "She nearly poked my eye out." "Your grandfather always told me:" ""Your sister is not a sissy like you."" "But who's the one who built all this, huh?" "I did." "I did all this, for you and your mother." "Isn't that right?" "You are great with the animals." "That makes me happy, Jona." "Now get lost." "What was Mom like?" "I can't remember her at all." "I want to sleep." "Come on, Papa." "I don't know anything about her." " It was so long ago, Jona." "So long ago." "He asked about you." "Why won't you talk to each other?" "There's a lot to do right now." " There's always a lot to do." "But there isn't much time left." "There's nothing to talk about." "He's your brother, damn it!" "I can see you really care." "Would you stop that?" "Dude!" "Move it, Maik!" "Don't let the others do all the work." "Even the girls are faster." " Excuse me?" "I've got the short stick." "It's so small!" "It sucks having a short stick, eh?" " Shut up, spaz." "Cow utters are hairier than your balls." "Knock it off, you two!" " Got a problem?" "Enough, guys!" "Just learned how to piss standing up, and they're already mouthing off." "You got this, Lasse?" " Sure." "What?" "Out with it." "I'm going to study." "For real." "I got accepted." "Don't look at me like that, man." "With your shitty grades?" " Yup." "Theology." "Theology?" " Yeah." "African Studies minor." "No admission restrictions." "I'm gonna apply for a student loan and sew my wild oats, baby!" "And finally get out of here." "Out of this fucking "dead zone."" "When it's over... then it's just over." "Spare me the damn hospital stench." "Beautiful woman." "Shit." "It'll heal quickly." "Want one?" " No, actually I don't smoke." "I'll bring you some ointment tomorrow." "Do we know each other?" "Anka." "I'm here to help you out with your father." "Martha?" "She called me." "I dreamt about an angel... who helps me fall asleep." "She really is beautiful." "Yeah." "That's my mom." "She died in a car accident." "I'm sorry." "I'm tired." "I'll come tomorrow and help you." "Good morning." " Hey." "This is for you." "It fits all the locks." "You can put your things in the cupboard over there." "Take anything you need." "You can go." "It's not like the city." "Fresh air." "I could never live in a city." "Too noisy, too hectic." "Like they say:" "once a farmer, always a farmer." "But I had all kinds of silly ideas when I was young." "My dream was to be a swimmer, together with Ron, my best friend." "We trained together." "Ron was an idealist." "That's why he took that job in mine reconnaissance." "I was always at the farm." "I inherited it from my dad..." "Do I get any of that?" " Someone has to take care of the cattle." "Sorry." "Special recipe for Burghardt." "I had no choice." " Okay, then we'll make a deal:" "You give me some of whatever that is, and I'll let you get between my sheets." "I'll give you some, so I don't have to get between your sheets." "What's wrong, Papa?" ""What's wrong, Papa?" This!" "These pills, every day!" "Calm down." " These pills!" "The whole fucking thing!" "I don't want them anymore!" "I can't go on!" "Then you'd finally be rid of me!" "Fucking bullshit." "Think of yourself too, man." "That's all I'm saying." "I mean, come with me to Berlin." "We'll rent a really cool apartment." "With one of those hot tubs, and a massive balcony." "We'll hang out all day in bath robes, puffing cigars." "And girls are only allowed in bikinis." "Right." "I'm serious, Jona." "The women there are so damn dirty." "They're all shaved." "And the way they walk!" "You two got something going on?" "Did you score yet?" " Shh!" "Damn, you're killing me!" "Ask her out." "If you don't, I will." "I did ask her out." "Lasse!" "You wish." " Lasse!" "Get back here!" " What's your problem?" "She's yours." "I don't even want her." "And I'll get her, too." "Martha." "How can something like this happen?" "You parked in the middle of the path." "And this is better?" "Of course it is." " Stay here." "I'm talking to you." "Martha." "That girl, Anka, is here now." "I organized her." "She'll assist him." " Assist him?" "Yeah." "But I want to..." " Tomorrow." "Not today." "I want to fly kites like in the old days." "But now it's time for bed." " No!" "We never do what I want to do!" "Oh, just look at me." "If this keeps up, then..." "I'll end up like your mother." "No!" "What did you say?" "Can you hear me, Papa?" "Can you stand up?" "You stupid old man!" "You stupid old man." "Sit down, please." "Is he on medication?" "Is he in treatment?" " He's in his second round of chemo." "Skin cancer." "It's spread to his head." " Please sit down." "It's great." "I mean, it will be when it's done." "It's not done yet, is it?" "Hey, come here." "You're significantly less ugly than you were yesterday." "Almost presentable." "Thanks." "WOW]" "It's just a hobby." "Are you crazy?" "I'll buy one." "I'll buy them all, when I've got the money." "You could pay in installments." "What are you doing here?" "I'm looking for Burghardt." "He's not doing well." " He's not here." "After all these years." "What happened?" "Martha, please." " You're dead to me." "And it better stay that way." "Martha, I wanted..." "Hey!" "What the hell was that?" "Keep going." "What's her problem?" "No idea." "Fucking hell." "I have to go." "I'm going to church." "It wouldn't hurt you to go once in a while, either." "Papa." "I'm fine." "I know..." "I thought that dose yesterday would do me in." "Have you come to finish me off with a large-scale pharmaceutical attack?" "No, Anka cooked a delicious chicken soup." "With fresh bread baked by two ex-junkies." "See how much Martha teaches them?" " Martha this, Martha that." "But nobody gives a damn that I need you." "Nature transforms their souls." "Okay, come on." " Alright." "Let's go eat soup." "You're annoying." "You're annoying." "I heard that!" "What are you doing?" " Fishing." "Get out of there." "You'll get an infection." "Don't worry, that only happens to women who never get laid." "You're nuts, Anka." "No!" "No!" "And you have very nice..." "Tits?" "Yup." "I still need it." " Want it back?" "Give me my net back." " Then I want a big fish." "Okay, pike or trout?" "I'll take a trout." "For you." "They're good." "Really good." " I'm a designer, baby." "I'm serious." "You should do something with it." "Life doesn't wait for you, I learned that." "Who was that guy the other day?" " What?" "Who was that guy you had an argument with?" "No one." "An old admirer." "Is that how you treat old admirers?" "My life is none of your business." "I don't have to explain anything to you." "You can all kiss my ass." "Hey." " Hi." "Do you have a lot to do?" "I'm almost done for today." "What are you going to do with all your free time?" "I'll find something to do." "Like what?" "Ouch!" "Sorry." "Papa!" "I'm sorry." " It's okay." "Come on, get up." "I'll call a doctor." " Don't!" "I will!" "I can't do this anymore!" " You can!" "I can't take it!" " You can!" "It's okay." "You'll be fine." "I'll call an ambulance." "Someone will be here soon." "I'd like an ambulance at" "It's okay." "Can you go on?" "Do you have any strength left, Papa?" "Don't you have the courage?" "There's nothing I can do." "Get out." "Now." "Martha, I..." " Here." "Boskoop apples." "They're his favorite." "I'm sorry." "Oh, pardon me." "You getting ready to go out?" "How are you?" "I'm sort of busy with dying at the moment." "I have to sit down." "This is Ron." "This is my son, Jonathan." "Ron, is it?" " Yes." "We have a sow named Ronja." "Jona, will you take me home?" "Don't get carried away, Jona." "It's okay." "I can do it." "Can I do anything?" " I've got it, thanks." "Oh, no." " It's okay, I'll do it." "Lately, somehow Papa's been... sad in a different way." "I don't know." "When he's dead, then..." "The towels are there." " Thanks." "I had another nightmare." "It happened at Gerti's and my wedding." "Jonathan was there, as old as he is now, even though he wasn't born yet." "And there was wheat growing inside the church." "There was a field inside the church." "We start towards the altar." "The priest was so short, only his head was poking out of the wheat." "As I'm leading Gerti to the altar," "I stumble over someone lying on the ground in the grass." "Ron's lying there... in his protective gear, fiddling around with a mine." "He turns to me slowly, opens the visor of his helmet" "and just shakes his head." "And that's it." "Then..." "Bang!" "I've seen people where... almost all their organs had failed, but they still couldn't go." "Something was holding them back." "Something unfinished." "If you want to die... you have to let life in." "Even if it's only for a day." "Gerti had a dress like that." "But hers had flowers on it." "It's so different being alive after you've experienced death." "Death is overwhelming." "I had an accident once." "It was pretty close." "There was so much." "It was really hard to find my way back." "Smell this." "What does it smell like?" "Grass?" "I don't know, tell me." "The origin." "Home." "What?" "Don't expect me to turn into a farmer and start milking your cows." "Nope." "I saw Martha." " You don't say." "She nearly blew my ass off." "You had it coming, Ronald." "She loved you." "Do you still think about it, sometimes?" "I've thought of nothing else, all these years." "It made me sick, what happened." "What we did." "I hated myself for it." "And I tried to hate you for it." "It takes energy to hate." "And I don't have any left." "Hey!" " What?" "You used to think that was funny." "You did, not me." "Asshole." " No, you are." "But it's true." " You really made tons of cash." "Hello." "Come here." "Jona, sit down." "Ron's just telling me about Iraq." " That's just great." "Good stories and booze." "That mixes real well with your meds." "Give me back the bottle, Jona." "Please." "Speaking of stories, tell me something about Mama." " Not now, please." "Yes, now." "I don't know a thing about her, Papa." "She worked at the kiosk, and I bought ice cream from her." "I bought tons of ice cream, every day, for weeks until she noticed me." "Then she told this joke that I didn't get." "I stood there like a moron." "It was so embarrassing." "Then I grabbed her and kissed her." "Did that really work?" "No, not really." "Then what?" "Nothing." "End of the story." "He's not good at those things." "Did you take your pills?" " Later." "Anybody want a coffee?" " Papa." "You have to take them." "What's the use?" "I puke all day and just feel like crap." "Don't worry, Jonathan." "I'll take care of it." "Oh, you will?" "Yes." "What would we ever do without you?" "Jona, please." " Ron." "Show me how you'll take care of it." "I've never seen you before." "Then you show up, and now you'll take care of it?" "I'm only trying to help." "Thank you." "I don't want any trouble." " Good." "I'm here for Burghardt." "I see." "An old friend comes and takes over." "That's great." "Actually it's terrific, because it means I'm off duty." "I could do whatever I want." "I could go to the movies." "Yes, go to the movies." " Anka, let's go to the movies." "I haven't been in three years." "You know why?" "Because I got up every morning at 5 AM to take care of my father!" "Every morning!" "And where were you?" " This is about what Burghardt wants." "You don't have a clue!" " Stop it, Jonathan!" "This isn't about the two of you." "Wait." "Anka, where are you going?" "I think you've got a few things to sort out in your little family." "You can't just go now." " Your father asked me to." "He wants to be with Ron." "He wants to stop taking his pills." "Regardless of what we think." "He doesn't know what he's saying." " Stop treating your father like a child." "He knows exactly what he wants." "It's that easy?" "Then I was just a little bonus fuck, eh?" "Get your life in order first, okay?" "Come on!" " So, very carefully..." "Vaddi, get a move on!" " But what do I do?" "Follow the calves." " Down there?" "Come on!" "Come on!" "This way!" "Come on!" "You steaks." "You walking steaks." "Come on!" "That's just for pussies." "Get away." "You've got no soul." "You're too late." "You're behind in your work." "Look who's talking." "Your brother's dying." "Settle your shit before it's too late." "You have no idea." " Then say something." "Or just run away, like always." "You and your father, both." "You can't handle the truth." "Talk to me!" " Hey!" "Stop this bullshit." " Stop it!" "Get lost, Jona." "Leave me alone." "Stop it." "A romantic idea: suddenly you can talk just because somebody's dying." "If you want to talk, why don't you ask your father?" "Your mother was a wonderful woman." "He destroyed her." "And not just her." "I just want it all to be forgotten." "We're at the Deichblume for the weekend." "Don't worry." "We'll be back Monday." "I couldn't help it." "I..." "I was a coward." "You still are." "She suffered so much, Ron." "But I never thought she'd throw away her own life." "That..." "We're the biggest assholes." "The biggest assholes in the world." "Hey, hey!" "Jonathan!" "Ron!" "Please don't." "Please." "Get lost." "Get lost!" "I'm sorry." " What are you sorry for?" "For being gay?" "For Mama killing herself?" "For the bullshit car crash story?" "What exactly are you sorry for?" "You never loved her." " That's not true." "Your heart's so big you can love everybody, right?" "I don't give a shit about your love." "Do you think it was easy for me?" "She was sick." "You were so little." "What could I tell you?" "The truth!" "Tell me the truth." "Her death was your fault." "What would you have done if that guy hadn't showed up?" "Taken it to your grave?" "I never saw him again." " Why didn't you just fucking leave?" "I did." "Your mother got sick." "I didn't care." "I couldn't do it anymore." "I packed my bags and just left." "Just like that, Jona." "I could hear you crying." "I got in the car and drove away." "You want the truth?" "That's the truth." "How did she do it?" "I want to know how she did it." "Tell me." "How?" "Tell me." "Tell me!" " With pills." "She took pills." "I want him to leave." "I've got about two weeks left, and..." " And what?" "What?" "You want to... what?" "Be alone with him?" "Finally go on your honeymoon?" "These are my two weeks." "The skin cancer's devouring him." "Burghardt has metastases in his brain." "Your father didn't do anything wrong, Jonathan." "He couldn't do it right." "Don't you see?" "He spent his life punishing himself for your mom's death." "Because it was his fault." " She made the decision to stay with him." "Come on." "He keeps asking for you." "So, are you gonna marry me?" "I told you, not until you grow some chest hair." "But I've already had chemo twice." "Come here." "Sit up." "Okay?" "Wait." "You're not getting in my bed with socks on." "What's wrong?" " The tube." "Careful." "Should I stop?" " No, no." "Keep going." "I'm sorry." "No, no." "It's okay." "It's okay." "It's okay." "Hi." "What happened?" "My father  is gay." " Really?" "Oh my God!" "They lied to me my entire life." "They didn't love each other." "No, they hated each other." "I want to show you something." "Come on." "I told her everything about you." "Every last detail." "But she'll be as silent as a grave." "She promised me." "It's okay." "She died, that's all." "Take care." "She was all alone." "No relatives." "Can you imagine?" "Not one." "But she died well anyway." "Practically glided away." "Morning, sleepy head." "Come on." "Vitamins." "They're good for your health." "Did you eat?" "Oh yeah." "Gourmet slime." "Thanks." "With a knife and fork." "Since when can you cook?" "Jona!" "He meant well." "Jonathan, please." "Please." "Tell me the truth for once." "If I didn't exist, then you'd be..." "Then I'd..." "Then this wouldn't have happened." "I kept you from living your life." "What are you talking about?" " I kept you from it." "You're the best part of Mama and me." "You're my big boy." "I love you a hell of a lot." "You stubborn ox." "Hail Mary, full of grace" "The Lord is with thee, blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus." "Asshole." "No, you are." "The morphine doesn't help him anymore." "Did you hear me?" "Can you help me?" "I am scared." "You're almost there." "Martha." "I'm sorry." "I..." "I love you all." "Papa."