"Long ago in a distant land I, Aku, the shape-shifting master of darkness unleashed an unspeakable evil." "But a foolish samurai warrior wielding a magic sword stepped forth to oppose me." "Before the final blow was struck I tore open a portal in time, and flung him into the future where my evil is law." "Now the fool seeks to return to the past and undo the future that is Aku." "Once again, I am free to smite the world as I did in days long past." "Mother, Aku has returned." "Do as we have planned." "Our future depends on it." "I am the lost son of the land that you have pillaged." "I am here to reclaim it." "What trickery is this?" "Aku" "Do not worry, samurai." "You will see me again." "But next time you will not be so fortunate." "Oh, no!" "Yeah!" "That was bad, man!" "Yo, Jack!" "That was some awesome show!" "I've never peered upon moves like that, Jack!" "Word!" "Jack was all ricocheticaIIy-jumpa-deIic!" "Hezeck, yeah!" "BodigiousIy acrobatastic!" "Word!" "Word!" "But then, when Jack pulled that Swiss arm it was all, Iike, schwim-swack-swoof!" "Man, right through the car!" "Swick-attack-whack was full on the back, Jack!" "Oh, yeah, yeah!" "And he was all...boom!" "Man!" "Eat that, fIucking crucker!" "Then my man just lands all cooIish style, Iike, "No sweating, chiII."" "But then that gunner wanna come out all:" "The trash is all munching, crunching, snack-mixing!" "Out of that phat, supercagafragaIistic-tistic tie, yo!" "Yeah!" "But Jack's just like, "Word!" "Let me get some." Tie." "Grab." ""I'm out, yo!"" "Word!" "Word!" "Word!" "Jack!" "Jack!" "You the sniz-nit, Jack!" "Oh, man!" "You just made my day!" "Up in the air!" "Thank you." "Where am I?" "Jack, you're on the gutter level of the central Hub, Sector D." "central Hub?" "Yeah, Jack." "The most crowdestness" "Stinkiest...." "Most miserabIest...." "ResidentiaI-industriaI spaceport on Earth!" "I have many questions and little time." "Who is in charge here?" "I must speak with your king." "So, Jack" "You don't see Aku." "Aku sees you!" "Aku?" "Yeah, man!" "Aku." "The master of masters." "The deliverer of darkness." "The shogun of sorrow." "No!" "How can this be?" "Don't know." "Just always been that way." "This" " I...." "Yo, Jack." "What's up?" "You don't look so good." "What Jack needs is some liquid refreshment." "Perhaps you are right." "Word!" "Right over there." "They will hook you up." "Word!" "That joint is the busy bizomb!" "What do you want?" "A few of the locals inform me that I might be able to refresh myself here." "What?" "Hey, man!" "Jack just want a drink!" "A drink?" "Why didn't you say so?" "And what you looking at?" "I apologize." "I am new here." "I did not mean to stare." "No, human." "It is not that easy!" "please." "I again apologize for my misbehavior." "I do not wish for any more trouble." "Get up." "I wish you no harm." "It is not me who should worry about being hurt, human." "It is you!" "So, what do you say, old chap?" "will you help us?" "So, what did he say?" "What did he say?" "will he do it?" "He said you're out of your mind, you blasted idiot!" "What do we do now?" "We've asked just about everyone here." "I say!" "What about him?" "You mean the lad who's about to get his bum disintegrated?" "Oh, I can't watch!" "Yes, that's the one." "I Iike him." "By Jove, he's good!" "Aye." "But it ain't over." "Lads, that's our boy." "Aye, he's good, all right." "But he'II never do it." "We'II see about that." "Be careful, RothchiId." "No worries, old friend." "Everything is under control." "Pardon me, fine sir." "Down here, old fellow." "I was just wondering if you would be so kind as to join us, as we are" "talking demon dogs!" "Good heavens!" "Where?" "You will not best me this day, vile henchman of Aku!" "hold on a moment, sir!" "I am by no means a demon or have anything to do with Aku." "But you speak in the language of man." "But of course!" "You're not from around here, are you?" "I say, why don't you come join my friends and me for a refreshment and we'II explain everything." "splendid." "Right this way." "Your refreshments are here." "splendid." "My boy, I do apologize." "How rude of us." "We haven't introduced ourselves." "This is Sir Dreyfuss alexander, chief of excavation." "Dreyfuss, old boy, you're drooling again." "Oh, oh, sorry." "You blasted idiot!" "You're getting everybody wet!" "And this fine gentleman is Angus McDuffy, artifact aficionado." "And I am Sir colin BarthoIomew Montgomery RothchiId III." "Or "Rothie," for short." "I am sorry." "I am very confused." "Your world is new to me." "What has happened?" "No, no, no." "Quite all right, quite all right." "Since the beginning of history, the immortal Aku has ruthlessly ruled the Earth pIundering its resources as he sees fit." "But it was still not enough." "He opened his ports to the galaxy so that he might take the riches of other worlds as well." "Since then, his otherworldly business affairs have drawn scads of vuIturous criminals mindless stooges and questionable mercenaries to our pitiable planet making the Earth topsy-turvy, if I do say so myself." "There are other worlds across the stars?" "well, of course, silly." "What world do you hail from?" "But I am from Earth." "Yet this world is nothing like the world I remember." "How so, lad?" "Even the grandest cities were never as overwhelming as this one." "Chariots did not fly, and dogs did not speak in human tongue." "What do you mean?" "well, I mean no insult." "They were wonderful companions but the dogs I knew merely barked." "You see?" "The ancient myths are true!" "impossible!" "If what you say is true, he'd have to be thousands of years old." "Astounding!" "The age-o-meter dates your particles all the way back to 25 B.A." "Twenty-five years before Aku enslaved the Earth." "You, my friend, are a living fossil." "So the question is not where I am..." "...but when I am." "precisely." "The spell Aku cast must have ripped me from my own time and flung me into the distant future." "Time warp is highly plausible." "allowing his evil time to fester and infect the entire world." "Most undoubtedly." "And I'm sure he plans to spread his vileness through the stars." "No." "I must return to my own time so that I might undo Aku's evil reign before it envelops the Earth." "This ageless demon must be stopped." "Oh, I'm so glad we agree on that point which actually brings us back to our proposal." "You see, we are archeologists trying to dig up the remains of our ancestors to find out more about our past." "It was only a few years ago that we discovered that our ancestors walked upon their legs and their arms." "Then, one day, during our excavation, we actually stumbled upon rare jewels." "Aye." "These jewels ended up being a key source of power for Aku." "So he enslaved us to forever dig up his jewels thus stifling our excavation of our glorious past." "Which is why we need you." "But what can I do?" "With your tremendous skill, you can break us free from Aku's grasp." "And we can escape in secret to again continue to discover our history." "I will help you." "splendid!" "well, we're off, then." "hold it!" "What is it now, Rothie?" "What's wrong?" "My dearest apologies, kind sir." "But we never got your name." "Jack." "Jack was aII" "Jack." "Jack." "Yo, Jack." "Jack, was" "Jack!" "They call me Jack." "Jack?" "I say, that's nice." "So simple but it seems to fit." "Who am I to comment?" "well, Jack, we're on our way." "We'II take our rocket ship." "Rocket ship?" "I'm taking a break." "My lord, we are the Vadaquas from the Mosconian galaxy." "Our water planet has been pillaged." "AII the oceans that were once our home are gone." "We have searched long to find a planet with oceans rich enough to sustain our people." "And your world is our last hope for survival." "I know of your plight, Vadaquian." "For you see, I am he who has taken your waters and the riches within them." "You monster!" "Be quiet!" "I am sorry, my lord." "The boy is young and foolish." "He does not know what he says." "The boy will return." "He will learn proper respect for Aku in the pit of hate." "Yes, oh, master." "Your wisdom is unquestionable." "But will you, great lord Aku, allow us to inhabit your world?" "For you are our only hope." "You will be allowed." "The oceans of Aku will be your new home." "But you will pay homage to me by constructing statues in my likeness." "Once a month, a monolithic tribute will rise from the depths of the ocean to remind all who is the master of this world." "Now be gone!" "My lord master, I have great news for you." "What information can be considered great for the immortal Aku?" "An ancient warrior of great power and skill has revealed himself." "He has vowed to liberate the canines from your mines." "What impertinence is this?" "Show me the fool!" "So fate has arrived." "Many years have gone since that day." "And now, my formidable foe, you will pay for my pain in the past with your pain in the future." "Oh, dear." "Sir Jack, are you ill?" "I'm fine." "I just prefer walking." "Yes." "Rocket rides." "Sorry about that, oId-timer." "But anyway, welcome to our camp." "As you can see, our archaeological dig had unearthed many astounding discoveries concerning the history of canine kind." "But unfortunately, Aku has, shall we say redirected our efforts purely toward the excavation of his precious gems." "And if Aku's unreasonable quotas are not fully met I'm afraid terrible punishments are exacted." "My people's spirits are broken." "We simply cannot live like this any longer." "I have seen Aku implement these atrocities before." "But no more." "Even dogs should not be forced to live like dogs!" "They're coming!" "They're coming!" "Aku's drones approach from the south." "They will be upon us by sunrise." "[ENGLISH]"