"Excuse me, sir." "My name's Barrett, sir." "Oh, God, of course." "I'm so sorry." "I fell asleep." " We've got an appointment." " Yes, sir." " What time?" " Three o'clock, sir." "Well, what time is it now?" "Three o'clock, sir." "Oh." "It's too many beers at lunch, that's what it is." " Do you drink beer?" " No." "No, I don't, sir." "Well, come upstairs." "We can sit down." "I'm just back from Africa." "I'm quite liking it." " What do you think of the house?" " It's very nice, sir." "Needs a lot done to it, of course." "Damn lucky to get this place, actually." "Little bit of wet rot, but not much." "Sit down." "Thank you, sir." "Sit down." "Well, now, this post..." "What's happening is this." "I'll be moving into this house in about two or three weeks' time." "And I'm all alone at the moment so I'll be needing a manservant, you see." "I've seen one or two chaps already." "But they didn't seem very suitable to me, somehow." "What...?" "You've had experience of this kind of work, have you?" "I've been in service for the last 13 years, sir." "For the last few years I've acted as... personal manservant to various members of the peerage." "I was with Viscount Barr until about five weeks ago." "Oh, Lord Barr?" "My father knew him well." "They died within a week of each other, as a matter of fact." " So you're free?" " Yes, I am, sir." " Do you like the work?" " Oh, I do." "I do." "I like it very much, sir." "Can you cook?" "Well, it's..." "If I might put it this way, sir, cooking is something I take a great deal of pride in." "Any dish in particular?" "Well, my soufflés have always received a great deal of praise in the past." "Do you know anything about Indian dishes?" " Oh, well, a little." " Well, I know a hell of a lot." " You'd have to do all the cooking." " That would give me great pleasure." "I could have got a housekeeper to run the kitchen." "But the thought of some old woman telling me what to do put me off." "Yes, quite, sir." "Now, apart from the cooking..." "I'll need... well... everything, general looking-after, you know." "Yes, I do, sir." " Brazil?" " Yes, in the jungle." "Waiter." " We've got to clear the jungle first." " What, just you?" "No, no." "It's a giant development and they're going to build three cities." " Are they?" " Mm." "Gigantic project." "A matter of clearing hundreds of miles of jungle." "I'll have another bottle." "And by the way, this one's corked." "I'm very sorry, sir." " You're corked!" " Listen." "You see, first we have to build the cities." "Then we've got to find the people to go and live in the cities." "Where are you going to find them?" "From Asia Minor." "There are thousands of peasants." "They're having a rough time of it and this will mean a new life for them." "Anyway, he wants me to help arrange the whole thing." "It's going to cost millions." "Millions." "Fine." " I'm having lunch with him next week." " In the jungle?" "Either here or in Paris, actually." "Yes, fine." "Anyway, there's no hurry." "I could do with a rest." "I'm sure you could." "No, seriously, Susan." "What do you think of the idea?" "Cosy." "Do you want to go there?" "Where?" "The jungle." "Mm-mm." "Not now." "No, not now." "Bachelor." "Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you." "I found a manservant." "A what?" "What about the landing, sir?" "White." "Well, perhaps a little blue here and there." "But I think the overall colour should be white." "Well, mandarin red and fuchsia is a very chic combination this year." "Not overall, surely?" " No, sir, not overall." " Just a wall." "Yes, just a wall here and there, sir." "You're very knowledgeable about decoration." " It makes all the difference in life." " What does?" "Tasteful and pleasant surroundings." "Now you've said a mouthful." "Now, that's your room." "Here's the bathroom." "Wait a minute." "What's that?" "Box room." " always do for a maid, sir." " Oh, we'll have a cleaning woman." "Do you think we'll need a maid?" "Well, they can be useful, sir." "Now, look here." "You mind that paintwork." "Oh!" " Is everything all right?" " Yes, thank you." "Tell me of any problems so we can correct it before it becomes a fault." "Lunch, sir." " Green salad." " Oh, that's nice." "No trouble, sir." " How are they getting on?" " I'm keeping my eye on them." "Are you?" "You might bring me a lager." "I'm just about to, sir." "I'm ready for it." "Sir." "How about that, then?" " OK?" " Yes." "Ah." "This is Barrett, Susan." "Barrett, my fiancée, Miss Stewart." " Hello." " Evening." "Shall I take your coat?" "Er, no, I'll keep it on, thanks." "Here." "Do you like it?" "Mm." "It's beautiful." "simple and classic is always best, Miss." "Is this classic?" "This isn't classic." "It's prehistoric." "We've always had it and I like it." " Barrett, let's have a drink." " Yes, sir." "Vodka on the rocks." " And for you the usual, sir?" " Thank you." "Which one do you want?" "Oh, this one." "My mother's favourite." "Thank you." "The place needs lightening, more variety, you know, colour." "Oh, do you think so?" "Yes, and tomorrow I'll organise a spice shelf for the kitchen." " Would you like to taste the wine?" " Thank you." " What ducky gloves." " Barrett's idea." "I like it." "It's Italian, Miss." "They're used in Italy." "Who by?" "Excellent." "Just a Beaujolais, sir, but a good bottler." " A good what?" " bottler." " Oh, is this necessary?" " Well, better be safe than sorry, sir." "You're too skinny to be a nanny, Barrett." "Oh, come on." "Don'tsulk." "I didn't mean it." "Oh." "Splendid." "♪ Now while I love you alone" "♪ Now while I love you" "♪ Can't love without you" "♪ Must love without you alone..." "Any news from your new frontier?" "No." "No, there isn't, actually." "Well, he had to go over there and make various arrangements." "Heads of government and all that." " Heard from him?" " Yes." "I mean, of course, the whole idea is in a very preliminary stage." "Still, I'm quite happy at the moment." "Aren't you?" "Mm." "I can manage for a good few months." "Oh, Barrett has installed my new abstract in the garden." "Looks very chic." "Go over and see." "♪ Must love without you" "♪ Now while I love you alone" "♪ Now while I love you" "♪ Found love without you" "♪ Must love without you alone" "♪ Give me my death" "♪ Close my mouth" "♪ Give me my breath" "♪ Close my mouth..." "You terrible lazy... ♪ Can't love without you" "♪ Must love without you" "♪ Now while I love you alone" "♪ Now while I love you" "♪ Can't love without you... ♪" "That mouth." "Why don't you come and stay?" "For a weekend, a long weekend." "Or a couple of weeks." "Marry me." "I'm so sorry to disturb you, sir." "I'm sorry." "Doesn't he know enough to knock?" "He made a mistake." "Mistake?" "Well, for God's sake, restrict him to quarters." " Couldn't he live out?" " Out?" "No, he couldn't." "Well, he doesn't have to be here after he's washed up the dinner things." "Well, he's got to lock up." " Well, I think I should go, anyway." " Well, why?" " I'm just going." " Oh, this is ridiculous." " Come home and stay with me." " Oh, look, stay here." "It's a bit late for you, Barrett." "About time you were tucked up in bed." "All right, Barrett." " I'll drive you back." " No." "Well, I'll walk along with you, then." "No." "I do apologise for the intrusion, sir." "I had no idea." "Don't do it again." " I did knock, sir." " Oh, get to bed." "Have you got an aspirin?" "Yes, sir." "I expect you caught a chill the other day in the rain." "Yes, rain." "The other day." "I'll get the aspirin." " Would you like a nice hot drink?" " There's no need for that." " Hello." " Hello." " You need some more air." " Oh, I don't know." "No, you don't." "Oh, God, I'm so sorry." "I completely forgot." "They're beautiful." "Thanks very much." "Every time you open a door in this house, that man's outside." " He's a peeping Tom." " Yes." "He's a vampire too on his Sundays off!" "Why didn't you have them in your room?" "Well, he was saying that they're bad in a sick room at night." "Come in." " Your medicine, sir." " Oh, thank you." "And the post." "What did the doctor say yesterday?" "Oh, nothing much, virus." "Put that down." "Oh, put it down, Barrett." "I beg your pardon, sir." "I do wish you'd stop yapping at Barrett." "It will be a bastard if he leaves." "What the hell would that matter?" "What would it matter?" "You try and find another like him." "I'm sorry I was rude to your servant." "Look, he may be a servant but he's still a human being." "I'm afraid it's not very encouraging, Miss." "The weather forecast." "Oh, there's somebody in already." "Here's the number right here." "Oh, I haven't got any pennies." "'Hello?" "'" " Bolton 625-45?" " 'Yes.'" "Get me Vera." "I'm speaking from London." "'Vee!" "'Vera?" "'A call for you from London.'" " 'Hello?" "'" " Vera?" "'Yes.'" " Are you ready?" " 'Yeah, I'm ready.'" "Hurry up, darling!" "All right, then." "Tomorrow." "'All right." "I've bought something new.'" " Mm-hm." " 'I'm wearing it now." "'I'll show you if you're a good boy.'" " I am." " Come on." "Get on with it!" " Are you being a good girl?" " 'What?" "'" "Tell her to..." "I said, are you being a good girl?" "'Yeah, I am.'" "I'll be at the station." " Hurry up!" " You got my last letter?" " 'Oh, yeah." "I got that all right.'" " All right, then." " At the station." " For heaven's sake!" " Ta-ra." " 'Bye.'" "Oh, here he is." "Get out of the way, you filthy bitch." " What?" " Ooh, get him!" "Come on." "You've mulled some delicious claret, Barrett." "I say, that's rather good, isn't it?" "Clarety Barrett." "In the army they used to call me Basher Barrett, sir." "Oh, really?" "Why?" "I was a very good driller." "Ah." "I like the changes you've made to the house." " You've been enjoying yourself." " I have, sir." "Thank you very much." "Oh, by the way, sir, I took the liberty of removing those... chintz frills of Miss Stewart's off the dressing table." "Not very practical." "Haven't seen very much of Miss Stewart recently, have we, sir?" "No." "My sister's arriving tomorrow, as agreed." "Yes, fine." "She's happy about the arrangement." "We might keep her if she's any good." "Thank you." " He's a wonderful wit." " Terribly funny." " Terribly." " Cheers." "Cheers." "I'm dying to see him again." "I haven't seen him for ages." " You won't for some time." " Oh, why?" "He's in prison." "Hello." "Good morning, Miss Stewart." " Good morning, sir." " Good morning." " Very nice to see you here again." " Thank you." "I can recommend the roast duck." "Thank you." "And what are you having?" " Are you better?" " Yes, thanks." "I've brought you a present." " What for?" " Because I wanted to." " Where the hell are you going?" " Sorry, your Grace." "You're Irish, aren't you, my child?" " Good morning, Bishop." " Good morning." "Thank you." " What did she say to you?" " Nothing." "Yes, she did." "She said something to you." " She didn't, really." " She did." "I saw her mouth move." "She whispered something to you." "What was it?" " What did she whisper to you?" " She didn't whisper anything to me." "She didn't whisper anything." "Why don't we go away?" "For a few days, hm?" "Where?" "Anywhere." "Agatha and Willie Mountset have invited us down, actually." "Well, why don't we go there?" "Yes, we could, I suppose." "I hear Father O'Flaherty won't be at the Cork convocation." "Flaherty" "Your man wouldn't miss that trip." "You can bet your last pound on that." "Didn't they have to carry him out last time?" "For God's sake, who didn't they have to carry out?" "I just don't like him." "You don't know him." " Surely you can take my word..." " I don't trust him." " Why?" " I don't know." "It's the snow." "It's the snow that I love." "Yes, he looks like a fish with red lips, I'll admit." "But apart from that, what's the matter with him?" "Stop making him so bloody important." "You've got the whole thing absurdly out of proportion." "Yes, perhaps." "And where are you creeping off to now, my son?" "Nowhere, your Grace, nowhere." " Nowhere at all." " Is that a fact?" "Why don't you just tell him to go?" "You must be mad." "You just don't care about my..." "What it amounts to is it's my judgment you're criticising." "That's not only ridiculous, it's bloody hurtful." " They were gorgeous." " Were they really?" "I'm sorry." "I'm a fool." "You are." "Well, I mean..." "Divine, darling, but I simply couldn't get them on." "Pity." "Look..." "I'm sorry." "No." "Well, I wouldn't..." " I shall be late for my appointment." " Taxi!" "140 Berkeley Square." "Barrett?" " Did you call, sir?" " Yes." "Damned awful lunch." "Where were you?" " Get me a brandy." " Yes, sir." "That's very handsome, sir." "Oh..." "Might I introduce my sister to you, sir?" "She's arrived." "She's very excited at the prospect of being with us." "Oh, is she?" "Vera?" "Well, I'm absolutely certain you'll be fascinated by Brazil." "Oh, yes." "I was in the Argentine, of course." "Briefly, as a girl." "I most certainly found the Argentine fascinating." "It should be very interesting." "Fascinating, Tony darling." "How many cities are you going to build?" "Three." "Yes, it's quite a big development." " In the jungle?" " Not exactly in the jungle." "No, sir, on the plains." "Oh, but some of the jungle will have to be cleared, won't it?" "Some of the jungle, yes." "A little bit." "That's where the ponchos are, of course, on the plains." "Ponchos?" "South American cowboys." "Are they called ponchos?" "They were in my day." "Aren't they those things they wear?" "With a hole in the middle for the head to go through?" "What do you mean?" "Well, you know, hanging down in front and behind." "The cowboy." "They're called cloaks, dear." "Oh." " Good morning, sir." " Morning." " Where's Barrett?" " Um..." "He's..." " He's gone out shopping, sir." " Oh." " Anything else, sir?" " No, thank you." "For God's sake, look at this." "That's not much good." " I beg your pardon, sir." " Pull your socks up." "Come on, come on." "Give it a good brush." " If you'd like to take the jacket off." " No, damn it." "Do it on!" " Would you turn around, sir?" " All right." "That will have to do." "We heard this morning that our mother's ill up in Manchester." "Apparently she's been asking for us." "Might be dangerous." "Would you mind if we took a night off, came back tomorrow, late?" "Both of you?" "Well, it is touch and go, sir." " Well, that's bloody inconvenient." " I appreciate that, sir." "We could leave a cold buffet and salad." "I wanted something hot." "Couldn't you make it tomorrow?" "Well, I suppose we could, sir." "It will give us time to get organised." "Well, I'm off." "There's one other thing, sir, before you go." "What is it?" "Where's my cologne?" " It's about Vera." " What about her?" "Well, it's her skirts, sir." "They rather worry me." "Her skirts?" "What's the matter with them?" "Well, might I suggest that they're a little short, sir?" "A little short?" "I should say so." "What do you want me to do about it?" "She's your sister." "Tell her yourself." "Where's my cologne?" "Don't come in." "I'm naked!" "Er, who is it?" " It's me." " Oh, I am sorry." " I forgot to lock the door." " I want my cologne." " Your what?" " The bottle." "It's all right." "I've got a towel on now." "I just want my cologne." " What, the one with your initials on?" " Yes." "Oh." "I am sorry, sir, but I thought everyone was out." "Do you know Vera's in my bathroom?" " I beg your pardon, sir?" " She is having a bath in my bathroom." "Well, I mean to say..." "I mean..." "Well, after all, you've got one of your own upstairs." " I'll have a word with her." " Yes, sir." "Who told you to take a bath in his bathroom?" "Who said you could use his bathroom?" "A gentleman doesn't like a naked girl bouncing about in his bathroom." " Didn't you tell me to?" " Quiet." " Well, didn't you?" " Me?" "I'd never say a thing like that." "He's still outside." " Know what I'm going to do?" " What?" "Here, take those." "Take one of those and put them on." " These?" " Yeah." "I'm going to have a bath in his bathroom." "Oh, you're terrible!" "Put on the water." "Go on, draw it." "Ooh." "And I want that..." "That all over me." "Come on." "Come on." "Splash it all over me." "Ow, ow, ow!" "Oh, it's cold." "Hello?" " 'It's me.'" " Oh, yes, Susan." " 'Darling, I've been worried.'" " Can I ring you back?" "'Well, yes, but when?" "'" " Are you at the office?" " 'Yes, but I'm just going out." "'Are you in tonight?" "'" "Er, yes." "Ring me then, would you?" " 'All right." "Bye.'" " Bye-bye." "♪ Take me, baby, to your big brass bed" "♪ Eager rocking mama till my face turns cherry red" "♪ I'll say rock me, darling..." "Yes, sir?" "Can I help you?" "No, I haven't had anything to eat." "♪ Rock me one time, one more time" "♪ One more time before you go" "♪ Take me, baby" "♪ To your big brass bed" "♪ Rock me, mama, till my face turns cherry red" "♪ Yes, rock me, darling" "♪ Yes, rock me slow" "♪ Well, rock me, darling" "♪ One more time" "♪ One more time before you go" "♪ Well, I love you, baby, and I'd never tell a lie" "♪ The way you rock me, mama, I don't want to say goodbye" "♪ I'll say, rock me, darling" "♪ Yes, rock me, mama" "♪ Well, rock me, darling" "♪ One more time before you go" "♪ Yes, rock me, darling, one more time before you go ♪" "Oh." "I wondered who it was." "What are you doing here?" "Well, I was just going to bed and I thought I heard a noise." "But you went to Manchester." "I didn't feel too well at the station, so he sent me back in a taxi." "He sent you back?" "Oh, yes." "Yes." "How do you feel now?" "Oh, I feel a bit better." "Well, shall I get you a glass of water?" "I'm glad it was you." "I... thought it might have been him coming back." " Has he gone?" " Oh, yes." "Yes, he went." "Well, I'm glad I'm not alone." "Well, I didn't fancy being alone by myself in this house." "Can I get you anything, sir?" "No." "Ooh, isn't it hot in here?" "Oh." "Isn't it?" "So hot." "Your skirt's too short." "My what?" "But that's how all the girls are wearing them." "Well, that's how they all wear them." "Why?" "Do you think it's too short?" "Are you hot?" "Oh, hello, Barrett?" "How's your mother?" " On the mend, sir." " Oh, good." "Good." " Little Vera wasn't very well, then?" " Well, no." "She looked so poorly at the station, it wasn't right to let her travel." " She hasn't been an inconvenience?" " Oh, not at all." "She hasn't at all." "Has she managed to do anything for you, sir?" "I beg your pardon?" "I hope she was able to see to your meals." "Oh, yes, yes, we..." "I had lunch." "I notice she didn't do the washing-up." "Still under the weather, I suppose." "Under the what, sir?" "The weather." "Oh, yes." "Oh, Barrett, would you go to the off-licence for me?" "For a quart of beer?" "I've got rather a thirst." " There's plenty of beer, sir." " Yes, I know that." "But I want some plain brown ale." "Right, sir." "Certainly, sir." " Vera?" " Yes, sir?" " Come down a minute." " I'm coming." " Where are you?" " Down here." "He's back." "What are you doing?" " I've got to do the washing-up." " I've sent him out to the pub." "He'll be back in a minute." "Who cares about him?" "Well, he is your brother." "What are you doing?" "Oh, you hurt me." "Oh, hello, Barrett." "Just getting a bit of air in the garden." " Rather cold, sir." " Got the beer?" "Oh, good." "Anything else you want, sir?" "No, thanks." "I'll be going out soon but I'll be back before midnight." "There'll be no need for you to wait up for me, though." " I'll lock up myself." " Right, sir." "♪ Now while I love you alone" "♪ Now while I love you" "♪ Can't love without you" "♪ Must love without you alone" "♪ Leave it alone, it's all gone..." "Oh, all right." "I'm coming." "Go down." "♪ Don't stay to see me" "♪ Turn from your arms" "♪ Leave it alone" "♪ It's all gone" "♪ Give me my death" "♪ Close my mouth" "♪ Give me my breath" "♪ Close my mouth" "♪ How can I bear" "♪ The ghost of you here" "♪ Can't love without you" "♪ Must love without you" "♪ Now while I love you alone" "Are you cold?" "♪ Now while I love you" "No." "♪ Must love without you alone" "♪ Give me my death" "♪ Close my mouth" "♪ Give me my breath" "♪ Close my mouth" "♪ How can I bear" "♪ The ghost of you here" "♪ Can't love without you" "♪ Must love without you" "♪ Now while I love you alone" "What about him?" "Is he asleep?" "Well... his room's dark." "♪ Must love without you alone" "♪ Now while I love you" "♪ Can't love without you" "♪ Must love without you" "♪ Alone ♪" "Come in." "Can I have your tray, sir?" "Oh!" " Hello?" " 'Hello.'" "Oh, hello, Susan." "'Did you get my note?" "I expect you've been rather busy.'" "Yes, I have been rather busy, actually, with one thing and another." "'Well, what time will you call, then?" "'" "Oh, about 2.30." "Should give us time enough to get down there." "I'm having lunch with my father's solicitor." "'All right." " 'I'll see you then.'" " Right." " Bye." " 'Bye.'" " I'm afraid the master's not at home." " I know." "Collect my things from the taxi, please." "Fill this with water." "Where's the parcel?" " It's in the hall, Miss." " Bring it to me." "How do you like them, Barrett?" "I'm not certain the flowers wouldn't be better in a different jar." "I thought you'd be uncertain, Barrett." "Take that away." "What do you think of them?" "I beg your pardon?" "What do you think of the cushions?" "It's difficult to say what I think of them, Miss." "Shall I tell you the truth, Barrett?" "Yes, Miss." "The truth is, I don't give a tinker's gob what you think." "I want some lunch." "A salad will do." "Use the tarragon I bought on Wednesday." "Light." "Well, put that coat down and give me a light." "Barrett?" "Come here." "Do you use a deodorant?" "Tell me, do you think you go well with the colour scheme?" "I think the master's satisfied." "What do you want from this house?" "Want?" "Yes, want." "I'm the servant, Miss." "Get my lunch." "Why don't you come up to my room?" "There's a wonderful view from there." "Or what about your room?" "What's it like from yours?" "Not very good from mine." "The best view is from our room at the house." "What about leaving tonight?" "Wouldn't that seem a little rude?" "No, no, they won't mind." "There's a light on in my room." "Quarter to twelve!" "Come on, now." "Give us one over." " You've only just had one." " Well, I want another one." "Oh, all this bloody smoking." "Well, it drives you mad." "You're driving me mad." "Oh, come on." "For goodness' sake, put it down!" "But I've only had one puff." "Oh, come on, put it down." "No, no, I'm worn out." "What's the matter with you?" "I know someone who wouldn't say no." "Him?" "He'd be on the floor." "Hey, come on." "Let me finish this fag." "Come on, you're like a ruddy machine." "Honest!" "I know I am but I can't help it." "It's your servants." " There's someone there." " No, there isn't." " Did you lock up?" " Of course I did." " What about the bolt?" " Oh, no, I didn't bolt." "Oh, you bloody little idiot!" "There's no one there." "I told you." "Oh, come on, Hugo." "You'll catch your death of cold out there." "Oh, I'm waiting for you." "Hey, come and look at me." "I'm all here waiting for you." "Oh, come on." "What's the matter with you?" "I'm all rosy." "I'm..." "Oh, what the bloody hell are you doing?" "Well, what are you going to do?" "This is your house." "They're in your room." "In your bed." "Did you know this was going on?" "Barrett?" "Barrett!" "Come down here!" "I think I should see him alone." "Why?" "Come here." "I want an explanation." "Might I speak to you alone, please, sir?" "Do you realise you've committed a criminal offence?" "Criminal, sir?" "She's your sister, you bastard!" "She's not my sister, sir." "So, if I might say so, we're both in the same boat." "He knows precisely what I mean." "In any case, apart from the error of being in your room," "I'm perfectly within my rights." "Vera's my fiancée." "What?" "Vera?" "Owing to this unfortunate incident, we shall have to tell our little secret to Mr Tony." "Come on." "You go and tell him." "Well, don't be shy." "Go and tell him." "Go on." "Hugo and I... are going to be married." "Married?" "Well, you've done all right." "What are you worrying about?" "Well, you can't have it on a plate forever, can you?" "Oh, come on, Hugo." "Get out, both of you." "♪ Now while I love you alone" " Are you ready?" "Come on." " Do you like it?" "Look." "♪ Can't love without you" "♪ Must love without you alone" "♪ Leave it alone" "♪ It's all gone" "Wait, wait." "One moment." "♪ Give me my breath" "♪ Close my mouth" "♪ How can I bear" "♪ The ghost of you here" "♪ Can't love without you" "♪ Must love without you" "♪ Now while I love you alone" "♪ Now while I love you" "♪ Can't love without you" "♪ Must love without you" "♪ alone" "♪ Now while I love you..." " Come to bed." " Oh!" "♪ Must love without you" "♪ Alone ♪" "'Hello?" "Who's there?" "Tony?" "'Hello?" "Who is it?" "'Hello?" "Large scotch, please." "I had a bit of bad luck today." "I really had a bit of bad luck." "It'll take me a few days to get over it, I can tell you." "Eh?" "You're right there." "Might I buy you a drink?" "Scotch, large scotch." "I wanted to come round and call on you, but..." "I'll tell you what, though." "I was led up the garden path." "I couldn't be more sorry, honest." "I was besotted by her long before I came to you." "I was simply besotted by her." "I thought she was keen on me too." "We were saving up to get married." "Her father was a brute to her, see." "I couldn't bear to see her... suffering." "But I had to pay him, like." "You know, pay him to... get his consent to take her away." "I had to find her a home somewhere." "That's..." "That's why I told you she was my sister." "I thought she was devoted to me." "Anyway..." "I didn't know what was going on between you two until that night." "That night I got it out of her." "She never intended to marry me." "And do you know what she's done now?" "Gone off with my money." "She's living with a bookie in Wandsworth." "Wandsworth!" "Look..." "Give me another chance, sir." "I was so happy there with you." "It was like bliss." "We can turn over the page." "I'm with an old lady in Bolton Square, ringing the bell all day long." "Up and down those stairs all day long," "I'm... skin and bone." "I deceived you." "I played you false." "I admit that." "But she was to blame." "It was her fault." "She done us both." "If you can find it in your heart, sir." "Give me another chance." " You still sitting there?" " "It's waxed so will soon wane."" " Five letters." " I haven't got time for all that." "Well, you ask me soon enough when you want some help." "Look at all this muck and slime." "It makes you feel sick." "Well, do something about it." "You're the bloody servant." "And you expect me to cope with all this muck and filth, all your leavings all over the place without a maid, do you?" "I need a maid to give me a hand." "I'm not used to such squalor." "Look what I've got on my hands." "You." "Can't expect to get any work done in this place." "As soon as I hoover you're straight up it." " You're in everybody's way." " Oh, why don't you leave me alone?" "What's this? "It's waxed so will wane soon." Five letters." "Why don't you get a job instead of mooning about?" " Oh, I can't do it." " Here I am scraping and skimping, trying to make ends meet, getting worse and worse." "And you're no bloody help, either." "Butter's gone up tuppence a pound." "As a matter of fact, I'll be meeting a man very shortly." "What man?" "The man from Brazil?" "What's he going to do for you?" "Come down by helicopter on the roof?" "Is that it?" "Oh, why don't you shut up?" "Barrett?" " What's the matter with you?" " Get out of it." " What are you doing?" " There's tea dregs on the carpet." " Where?" " In the drawing room." "Well, I haven't put them there." "Now here you are." "Use it." "Don't do that to me!" " clear it up!" " Not my fault, them dregs!" " Oh, you filthy bastard." " Right, I'm leaving." " That's what I want." " Don't talk to me like that." " After all I've done for you!" " Get down and clear it up." " I won't stand for this." " Take your pigsty elsewhere." " It's not my pigsty, it's yours." " Creep!" " Nobody talks to me like that." " Do you know what you are?" " You're a peasant." " Peasant, am I?" "I'll tell you what I am." "I'm a gentleman's gentleman and you're no bloody gentleman." "Oh, you think I'm past it?" "I haven't had a drink all morning." "I'm through with it." " Oh, I'll knock your head off." " Violence will get you nowhere." "If you don't wipe those dregs up I'll ram your nose in them." "You're funny." "I wouldn't mind going out for a walk." "Must be quite nice out." "Watch it!" "No, out of play, out of play, out of play." "Right, got you." "Bit wild." "Nearly got you then, though." "13-10." "Count it as that." "Well, I can't do it any more." "I have to bend all the time." "What about me?" "I'm in the inferior position of playing uphill." "I need a drink." "That's half the point of the game, the bending." "You're getting as fat as a pig." "You need the exercise." "Right, service. 14-12." " That wasn't fair." "I wasn't ready." " I said "service", didn't I?" "I'm not having that point counted." "That was a perfectly fair point." "What about the other night?" "You did about six like that." "Don't take advantage." "You're sitting in the best position." "You ought to play according to the rules." "You're just a little upset because you're losing the game." "Take your ball." " Take it yourself." " Ow!" " Well, what's the matter?" " I..." "I'm going." " It couldn't have hurt." " Get out the way." "I'm not staying here in a place where they chuck balls in your face." "Don't be a fool." "Come on, let's have a drop of brandy." "Tell you what, we'll call that game a draw." " Isn't that fair?" " Push your brandy!" " Don't talk to me like that." " Push you!" "Get back to your coal heap." "Look, Barrett, don't you forget your place." "You're nothing but a servant in this house." "A servant?" "I'm nobody's servant." "Who finished the whole place for you?" "Who painted it for you?" "Who does the cooking?" "Who washes your pants?" "Who cleans the bath out?" "I do." "I run the place and what do I get out of it?" "Nothing." " Now, listen, Barrett..." " I know all about you, sonny." "I am grateful, honestly." "Don't be daft." "You know I am." "Yeah, I believe you." "You know, I..." "I don't know what I'd do without you." "Well, then, go and pour me a glass of brandy." " Well, that's what I suggested." " Don't just stand there." "Go and do it." "Fabulous." "Yes." " It's not bad." " It's fabulous." "It's a bit salty." "No, no, it's marvellous." "I don't know how you do it." "Oh." "It's nice to know it's appreciated." "It makes all the difference." "Oh, I do appreciate it." "You know, sometimes I get the feeling that we're two old pals." " That's funny." " Why?" "I got the same feeling myself." "I've only had that same feeling once before." "Did you?" "When was that?" "Once in the army." "Well, that's funny." "I had the same feeling myself there too." "Once." "47, 48, 49 and 50." "I've got a tiny feeling that you're not downstairs at all." "You're not downstairs at all." "I think you're up there." "Aren't you?" "And now I'm on my way to get you." "Where's your little lair this time?" "Puss, puss." "Pussy, puss, puss." "Puss, puss, puss, puss." "I'm getting warm." "You're hiding." "You'll be caught." "I'm getting warmer." "You've got a guilty secret." "But you'll be caught." "I'm coming to get you." "I'm creeping up on you." "I can smell a rat." "I... can... smell... a... rat!" " What do you want?" " To speak to him." " clear off out of it." " I want to speak to him." "Come here." "Quick." "clear off!" "Come on, out." " Come on." " Look..." "I want... please." "I'll speak to her." "Leave her." "Listen..." "I..." "I got to go to hospital." "They're taking me in, you see." "Give us some money." "please, lend me a few quid." "Oh, go on." "Well..." "Just only a few." "What about what you did to me?" "It was him." "He made me." "I loved you, though." "I..." "I still love you." "playing games with little sis again, are we?" "That won't get you anywhere, Tone." "Come on, little sister, out." " Come on." " It was him." " Him." "He done it." "He did." " Stinking out the place!" "Come on!" "I love you." " I..." " Come on!" "Get back to your ponce." "Come on." "Soaking wet." "Slut." "I've got something for you from a little man in Jermyn Street." "Not for me." "Oh, come on." "Have a sip, see what it tastes like." "I told you, I'm not drinking." "Oh, now, look." "Just have a little sip, that's all." "Just a sip." "There you are." "You see?" "I can still think of things that will please you, can't I?" "You won't get many better than me, you know." "What do you want?" "An old hag running round the house, getting you up in the morning at the crack of dawn, telling you what to do?" "My only ambition is to... serve you." "You know that, don't you?" "I'm sorry, I..." "I've been a bit edgy lately." "Oh, well, I mean..." "I mean, I..." "I admit, I..." "I make mistakes, but..." "Well, after all, I'm only human, aren't I?" "You wouldn't like me if I wasn't human, would you?" " The place could be cleaner." " Oh, I know." "I know it could be a bit cleaner." "That's what I've been going on about for days." "Listen." "Perhaps... we... cou... could both... make... an extra effort." "You're dead right there, Tony." "That's what we ought to do." "♪ Can't love without you" "♪ Must love without you" "♪ Now while I love you alone" "♪ Now while I love you... ♪" "Hey!" "Your other one's here." "What?" "Your old flame." "One yesterday." "One tonight." "You are popular, aren't you?" "She's waiting." "Did you tell her we're expecting visitors?" "Oh, yes." "Yes, I did." "But I also took the liberty of showing her into the drawing room." "After all, she's a lady, isn't she?" "♪ Leave it alone, it's all gone... ♪" "Hello." "Vera's been to see me." "She says you owe her some money." "Well, I think you owe her some kind of compensation." "She's a liar." "They're all liars." "You didn't come here because of Vera." "Leave it." "It's all gone." "Leave it alone." "You don't want to come here." "But I love you." "Well, you're on time." "Who is it?" "Friends." "Oh, look, that's Christine." "Isn't that Christine?" "If it is, it was ten years ago." "She's been doing it again." " Don't you like me at all?" " Yes." "Where's that Tony?" "What's wrong with me, then?" "Hey, come on." "We're waiting for you." "There's nothing wrong with you." "Come and join the party." "♪ Give me my death" "♪ Close my eyes" "♪ Give me my breath" "♪ Close my eyes" "Where's my drink?" "It's here." "Do you want one, love, eh?" "♪ Now while I love you" "♪ Can't love without you... ♪" "Do you know where we're going in the morning?" "We're going to Brazil in the morning." "Aren't we, Tone?" "Eh?" "Brazil." "Want a fag?" "No?" "I've loaded it." "Hold it there." "Smile." "Let go." "Come on." "♪ Now while I love you alone" "♪ Now while I love you alone" "♪ Now while I love you" "♪ Can't love without you" "♪ Must love without you alone" "♪ Leave it alone, it's all gone" "♪ Leave it alone" "♪ It's all gone" "♪ Don't stay to see me" "♪ Turn from your arms" "♪ Leave it alone, it's all gone" "♪ Give me my death" "♪ Close my mouth" "♪ Give me my breath" "♪ Close my mouth... ♪" "Get out!" "Get them all out!" "All right, come on." "Get out." "Get out, all of you." "Come on." "And you." "Come on, get up." "And you." "Come on." "Come on." "Make it tomorrow night." "And bring John." "Come on!"