"In the criminal justice system, sexually-based offenses are considered especially heinous." "In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as The Special Victims Unit." "These are their stories." "Guy dropped these off about 45 minutes ago." "Photomat down the street just closed." "Never seen this guy before." "What's his name?" "Holt, Larry Holt... had a coupon." "Rep came in..." "gave us a talk about these things, told me to call if I saw something weird." "This is kid is posed." "Look at the way he's looking at the camera." "Yeah, that's it." "Open bottle of alcohol..." ""Endangering the Welfare of a Child."" "You don't think this is enough to make an arrest?" "No, "EWC" is all we can arrest him on." "We're going to have a hard time proving this is child porn." "But my gut feeling is, this is the tip of the iceberg." "Guy gets one whiff of us and he's going to clean out everything." "So let's follow him for a few weeks, and don't waft his way." "What's going on here?" "So much for not "wafting his way."" " Are these your photos?" " Yes." "Å©¸®½º ¸á·Î´Ï (¿¤¸®¾ù ½ºÅ×ÀÌºí·¯ Çü"ç æµ)" "¸¶¸®½ºÄ" ÇÏ±âÅ×ÀÌ (¿Ã¸®ºñ¾Æ º¥½¼ Çü"ç æµ)" "¸®Â÷µå º§Àú (Á¸ ¸ÕÄ¡ Çü"ç æµ)" "¹Ì¼Ð Çãµå (¸ð´ÏÄ" Á¦ÇÁ¸®½º Çü"ç æµ)" "´í ÇÃ·Î·º (µ· Å©·¹ÀÌ°Ç °æ°¨ æµ)" "Law  Order SVU 1x21 Nocturne" "ORIGINAL AIR DATE ON NBC: 2000/05/12" "Where there's one photo, there's a hundred more." "You don't even have "EWC."" "That kid is clearly under 18, that bottle is clearly over 80 proof." "You don't know that." "You can't prove that's not apple juice." "You can't prove he drank from the bottle." "He could have found a stash." " Which is "EWC."" " You jumped the gun." "We didn't have another choice." "Holt knew we were detectives." " If there are other photos.." " And there are." "...he would've gone straight home and destroyed 'em." "There's nothing in these photos that we can do anything about." "Captain, take a look at this." "Middle of winter... kid is wearing hot pants. / They're shorts." "Shorts that ride up too high on his legs. / He had a growth spurt." "Someone had to tell that kid to drop his chin and smile." "That's not normal." "Unless you're in a beauty pageant." "It's a boy." "How many boys you know go "JonBenet"?" "All right, keep going." "The pose, the look... these are learned, these are taught, and not by other kids." "The kind of guy who takes these pictures, is going to keep these." "He's going to cherish 'em, collect 'em." "How's the kid in these photos related to Holt?" "Guy's a piano teacher, he's a student." "These are sexualized photos." "Pedophiles keep evidence of their sexual acts." "I know there are more pictures in Holt's apartment." "I suppose you want a warrant, based on your "ESP"?" "Yeah, I do." "This is post-McMartin, people." "Any judge worth her salt will throw out Holt's arrest at his arraignment." "Captain Cragen?" "My client has informed me that you took his watch, his wallet, his house keys." "We voucher all personal property at the time of arrest to prevent theft or accidental loss." "I need those keys." "Why?" " To get in that house." " Tell me why." " Need to feed the dog." " The dog will be fine." " Where are my client's keys?" " Property clerk." "You did make a run to the property clerk?" "In about two hours." "There is something in Holt's apartment." "I'll put a uniform on the door." "You get a probable cause, you get a warrant." "What about the kid in these photos?" "It's a small neighborhood." "Let's go." "The building's sealed." "Who the hell are you to tell me I can't go in there?" "My lieutenant told me to not let anyone in." " You can't stop me." " I can, and I am." "Excuse me, Is there a problem here?" "Yes." "Hi. / Hi." "This officer is preventing me from entering my house." " You live here?" " No, my father lives here." "Then I'm sorry, these premises are secured." " Do you have a warrant?" " It's before a judge, and until she rules, we'll be locking this place down." " Thank you." " You're welcome." "They got a money tree in this place, what?" "We don't know." "This whole place belongs to Holt?" "Nice place." "It's too nice." "Where's a piano teacher get that kind of money?" "A rich white guy moves into this neighborhood?" "Not by accident." "You think it's an accident that he lives across the street from an elementary school?" "Excuse me!" " Whoa!" "How you doing?" "Where you going?" "I have a piano lessons." "So, Jonathan, is Mr. Holt a good teacher?" "Yeah, you know, good." "Yeah?" "Did he ever touch you when you were playing?" "Yeah, he keeps his hand on my back." "It's for posture." "Did that ever make you feel uncomfortable?" "My dad said it's okay." "Look, that teacher's like that with all his students." " You go to his lessons?" " I work late." "So who are his students?" "Kids in the neighborhood." " Boys and girls?" " Girls?" "Please." "Okay." "Jonathan, did Mr. Holt take pictures of you while you were playing?" "Yes, but he has a whole lot of other pictures." "He calls them "snappies."" ""Snappies"?" "Did he ever show you these "snappies"?" "No, I found 'em." "Where?" "I turn the page on the music stand, and a whole bunch of snappies fell out." "Are they like the snappies he took of you?" "No, those boys in the snappies didn't have any clothes on." "Well, there's your probable cause." "We're not going to get a nighttime exemption." "If we don't hit that door by 9:00, we're not gonna get in until 6:00 a.m." "Holt's lawyer's pushing for arraignment." "We lose that uniform in two hours." "We don't get into that house tonight, someone else will." "You two go file the warrant." "I'll page Judge Rothman." "She owes me." "We'll go in while the ink is drying." "Residence Of Judge Rothman 79 Riverside Drive Thursday, February 3" ""Photos, negatives, slides, cameras, photographic equipment, books, magazines, xeroxes, and printed material at the residence of Lawrence Holt," "30 East 112th Street."" "Wait, let's add videotape and film." "Adding "video cassettes, videotape, and film."" "Anything else?" "It's three till 9:00." "You got your warrant." "You got it?" "Great." "We got it." "Open it up." "It's pretty quiet in here." "Maybe the dog died." "What is this place?" "The lesson room." "Okay." " Please don't." " It's okay." "No, that hurts." "And 43 photos in the album were obscene?" "Yes, Your Honor." "Your Honor, may I?" "Briefly." "I understand that the court is under tremendous political pressure to punish child abusers to the fullest extent of the law." "Somehow, it never seems enough." "Based on the evidence found, the defendant is hereby charged with;" "Endangering the welfare of a child;" "use of a child in a sexual performance;" "promoting an obscene sexual performance by a child." " How many tapes did you find?" " Last count was... 157." "Impressive, Mr. Holt." "44 counts of possessing obscene sexual performance by a child." "Your Honor, the people have clearly not had the opportunity or the time to inventory each videocassette." "Then we will all dread the discovery process." "Bail is denied, defendant is remanded." " Are you ready to start?" " Come play it with me." "Okay, let's go." "Is this the tape you found in the VCR?" "Yeah." "This goes back 13 years." "Okay." " Please don't." " It's okay." "No, that hurts." "You scamp!" "I didn't know you were going to do that." "Good for you!" "What is this, Holt's Createst Hits"?" "How many kids are there?" "Please don't." "You have so much talent, but you need to learn restraint." "Technique is discipline." "Not now, not again." "That's not a different kid." "It's the same person." "Grown up." "That was very good." "I felt your passion." "Thank you." "Did you see the tape?" "We usually just hear about it after." "To actually see it..." "There's a lot more to go through." "There could be 50, maybe 100 more kids." "I'll do it." "You got Holt arraigned on possession and promoting, all right?" "We have to get back in there." "We need his computer, day planner, his schedule." "Wait a minute, what about abuse?" "No, no, to do that, you need a complainant." "You need an actual kid." "We need that kid." "Okay, let's go." "Looks familiar, but I don't know his name." "Does your son take piano lessons from Mr. Holt?" "No, not yet." "My son, he doesn't like music very much, but I've been talking to Larry about that." "Larry says it's never too late to develop an ear." "Yeah, sure." "Plays piano." "Know who you should ask about him?" " The piano teacher." "Yeah, Larry Holt..." "lives across the way." "He knows every kid in this neighborhood." " What do you know about him?" " Guy's a piano teacher." "Little fruity, but, you know." "Fruity?" "Yeah, always touches everything, everyone, but, you know." " No, I don't know." " None of my business." "Was there something going on?" "Why you care?" "You're only here after something happens." "I'm here now." "Then that's your business." "Holt rent a lot of children's videos?" "I'll tell you right now, he's one of the most decent guys I know." "He gave my kids piano lessons for free." "Really?" "What did your kids say about him?" "That he was strict." "But they like him." "Anything going on, they'd tell me." "You don't know Larry Holt." "He takes kids and sees what they have in them, that they can do anything." " You see that kid?" " Mm-hmm." "His name is Rey Guzimano, heard of him?" "No. / Man can he play." "Holt one of his teachers, too?" "You know, Holt makes a difference in people's lives." "A hell of a lot more than you ever will." "People knew." "Maybe they're just trying to be optimistic." "It's not the same as covering up." "Yeah, they're busy." "They're trying to keep everything together." "Food on the table, their families." "If they faced the truth, what kind of parents does that make them?" " Did you talk to her?" " I don't think so." "Hold on." " I bet I know what you're thinking." " Bet you don't." "Even the best parents can't protect their children." "Cutter at home... part of its broken, I need to fix it." "Well, you can't do everything." "You'd feel everything for 'em, if you could... all the pain." "You know, sometimes I just look at kids and I think," ""Why?" "Why do it at all?"" "Because you want to more than anything in the world." "Because you want to love them everyday." "Where is that?" "Hello?" "Excuse me." "Hey!" "How did you get in here?" "I have a set of keys." "Who are you?" "I'm Detective Benson, this is my partner Detective Stabler." " What's your name?" " Evan." "Evan, the way you play, it's..." " Beautiful." " It's nice, yeah." "Thanks." "Can I help you?" "Yeah, we're looking for this person." "It's a three-year program." " When's your audition?" " Three days." " You nervous?" " Yeah, it's Julliard." "But if I get in, it'll be all thanks to Mr. Holt." "Yeah, what do you mean?" "Mr. Holt's a great teacher." " Why?" " Because he pushes you." "How?" "Makes you practice a lot, so that way you can develop strong technique." "How else did he push you?" "I don't know, I guess, just makes you practice a lot." "How long have you been playing piano?" "Forever, I guess." "But Mr. Holt's been really good to me." "He taught me for free." "I need to ask you about your piano teacher, about what he did to you." "What do you mean..." "what he did to me?" "He hasn't done anything." "Evan, I want you to know that everything you're feeling is totally normal." "It's okay, but you got to tell us what happened." " Elton John." " Huh?" "My mother would play his "Greatest Hits, Volume One," over and over." "His voice..." "when it would get really high... if I could sing like he could, I would, but I can't, so I learned how to play." "How old were you the first time you had sex?" "I haven't yet." "Mr. Holt didn't...?" "Evan, Mr. Holt hurt you." "No, he didn't." "He's never touched you?" "Never." "He pushed me... he raised the bar, and I met it each time." " He doesn't know he was videotaped." " We should show him the tape." "If we take away this kid's denial, are we going to stick around for the fallout?" "There are people.../ For as much pain as this kid's been through, there's an equal amount just waiting for him." "Is it enough to try Holt for possessing and promoting child porn?" "He's guilty of a lot more." "And possession and promoting, even with "EWC" tacked on, is still only going to bring seven years." "That's why a jury's got to see the tape." "Seeing that tape, I'll tell ya, it's going to wreck that child's life." "Elliot, he is not a child, he's an adult." "Hello, Evan." "May I have a seat?" "Yeah." "What you're going to see, is going to be very hard for you." "What happened on this tape is wrong, and the man who did it deserves to be punished." "We can't do that, Evan, without the help of the other person on this tape." " Are you ready to start?" " Come play it with me." "Okay." "Let's go." "That's good." " What's this?" " Now watch your tempo." "Arch your fingers." "Mm-hmm, mm-hmm." "Now remember your posture." "Keep your shoulders back." "No." "No." "Turn it off!" "No. / It's okay." "It's all right, son." "No!" "Shh, shh." "Evan." "No...!" "No." "Holt moves into the neighborhood, somehow manages to blend in." "He didn't blend in, he stood out." "That's exactly what these kids, Evan, need." "Somebody to love them." "Be a part of his world." "Rich." "Educated." "White." " What did he do?" " He didn't do anything, ma'am." "Then why you want to talk to him?" "Have you ever heard your son play piano?" " Sure, you know." " He's real good." "Yeah." "So?" "That's what we want to talk to him about." "If you're from that fancy school, you better talk to him about who's going to pay for this." "How did the audition go?" "Can you tell us who these other kids are in the photos?" "Yeah." "Oh, my mom." " Yeah, families." " Yeah." "You know, not nice like Larry's place, eh?" "Never been there." "Yeah, but the cabinet doors close." "And there's a piano at the middle school, and it's missing a "D" flat." " And it's always out of tune." " Holt's got a nice piano." "I guess there's a price to pay for everything, huh?" "For him, too." "That's why we need you to tell us who these kids are." "Holt's my teacher, and he cares about me a lot." "He even bought me a coat one year." "I know it's hard, but it's okay." "No, it's not." "If you don't help us, Holt goes right back to giving those lessons." "Holt always said I wasn't ready to leave." "I mean, I'm no Rey Guzimano." "I still live here." "You know how old he was when he came out with his first CD?" "17." " So what?" " You know how old I am?" " Almost 21." " Some prodigy." "Julliard took in a 41-year-old flute player last fall." "Guy was a monk." "It's not too late." "It's not?" "That's Caesar." "Know where he is?" "Jail." "His gun accidentally went off when a dry cleaner was opening up his cash register." "That's Ricky." "He's a junkie." "And that's Tony." "Know where he is?" "Nobody does." "And me... you know, I still live here." "But that's "okay."" " Holt didn't have a computer." " No evidence anyone helped him?" "No set schedule, no daytimer." " The tapes have dates on them." " Starting dates of the lessons." "And his current students in the neighborhood?" " Nobody's talking." " This case is being fast-tracked." "And we've indicted Holt separately for abuse against Evan." " How many counts?" " Just two." "What?" " We can only go back five years." "Wait a minute, that law changed in '96." "Child abuse can be prosecuted up to five years after the child's 18th birthday." "That's still a lot more than two counts." "But there's no grandfather clause for abuse before '96." "So everything that Holt did to Evan up until the time he was 16, inadmissible." " Anything over 17...?" " Is consensual." "Please, huh?" " And that's only one year of what happened to him." " Right now, that's all we have." " We may not even have that." "So our star witness may not even testify?" "He's afraid of betraying Holt." "He's worried that people are going to hate him." "So we'll talk to the kids that Evan knows." "Caesar, the lifer;" "Ricky, the junkie." "Oh boy." "Nah, nothing ever happened." "He never touched you?" " No." "Why did you stop playing piano?" "I didn't have the technique, or discipline." "Man, it's cold." "Why don't you come back to the station with me?" "Get warm." "We can talk there." "Holt's place was warm." "Door was always open, never locked." "Never?" "If it was, you come back." "Go inside." "Get warm." "Eat a meal... sugar cookie." "I miss that part." "Residence Of Rey Guzimano 85 Washington Park, Brooklyn Monday, February 7" " You're his most successful student." " I owe him a lot." "And you owe it to the community to testify." " I don't owe that community anything." " You're still a part of it." "I just go there to see my mom." "Holt got away with this for almost 20 years." "Holt was the only person that ever told me I could do something." " You know what that's like?" " Yeah." "Yeah, I do." "You know there's only like three ways to get out of there." "Either you're smart enough to figure it out, you get out on your own, which isn't me, or you die there." "Or you can do something, you know, handle a ball, play the piano." "No one's going to take that away from me." " Why won't you talk to me?" " Because he's my father." "You still here?" "Yeah." "Can you sleep?" "I close my eyes, I see those tapes." "Every frame." "Go home, John." "Yeah, back to dead people..." "Homicide." "It's much more clear cut, simple." "Back to photographs." "Bodies bent, broken." "Bodies that don't talk back to you." " Look at you." " You don't get attached." "Exactly." "Of course, you retired in Baltimore, a few months later, found yourself here... another squad room, another case." "This time I'll do a better job of quitting." "Yeah, running's good." "I don't need this." "Go home, John." "Take care of yourself." "I got two more tapes to watch." ""With a wink of his eye, and a twist of his head..." "Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread..." "He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, and filled all the stockings..."" "Are our stockings going to be filled tonight?" "I'm only going to tell you one more time." "Christmas comes once a year, it is now February." " Give me the phone, honey." " By why, Daddy, why?" "Yeah, why can't Christmas come all the time?" "Because Santa's credit cards are all maxed out." "That's why." "Stabler." "Hey, Evan, how you doing?" " Evan?" " Shh." "What?" "Okay." "I'll tell you what, you just stay there." "No, stay there and..." "I'll be there as soon as I can." "Okay." "Pauly's Diner 185 East 112th Street Monday, February 7" "My mom threw me out." "She said she didn't want some faggot living at her place." " I didn't know who else to call." " That's okay." "I hate that everything's always okay, you know?" "I know some places that give emergency housing." "They can help you get on your feet." "How's the job?" "The hot water cracks my skin." "Hurt my hands." "So you've quit the dishwashing business?" "No." "I got fired." "I think I want to testify." "That's good." "Real good." "You think I'm gay?" "I don't know." "It's not for me to say." "I mean, I've never ever had a girlfriend or anything." "Maybe you don't know yet, it's not something you choose." "Besides, there's a big difference between homosexuality and pedophilia." "Which is what?" "Which is... homosexuality is none of my business." "What was done to you..." "I was forced... that's what you're trying to say?" "Yeah... only... why didn't you stop taking those lessons?" "I thought..." "I didn't think I had any choice." "Well, whatever person you choose... should be your choice." "And my guess is, when you're ready to see someone that way... you will." "It'll mean something to you, and it'll come from you." "And it won't be about what was done to you." "And it won't be my fault?" "Fault?" "It's supposed to be about love." "Elliot, you all right?" "Yeah." "How's it going?" "Going." "What's going on at work?" "Nothing." "You talk to Olivia about it?" "She's my partner." "How can we make Evan feel comfortable?" "We just spent two hours rehearsing his testimony. / How'd that go?" "You know the way he answers questions, almost as if he wanted to say the right answer, if there were a right answer, just like a kid." "He is, emotionally, sexually." "This kid shut down at eight years of age." "When I do have kids on the stand," "I do like to do a courtroom prep." "Cool." "Okay." "Okay." "That's enough, "Wapner."" "Last, and most important." "Where you will sit." "I don't get to come here at all?" "'Cause you're a witness, you might get contaminated by watching the whole trial." "Contaminated?" "Trust me, you got a lot better things to do than hang out here all day." "Now, when you're up here," "I want you to answer the questions, just like we practiced." "And when you answer, I want you to speak loudly, and look at me, and only at me." "What about when his lawyer asks me questions?" "You just answer the questions." "Everything else, ignore." "Just hear music." "Hey, John." "You think it's a conscious choice?" "What, Holt?" " What are you talking about?" " Yeah, Holt." " What makes a perp a perp?" " Who cares?" "Some people say the frontal lobe is our body's armor against impulses." "Okay, Holt has a bad lobe." "You think he was abused?" "You know, John, I really don't care." "It's just another excuse as far as I'm concerned." "This guy hurt a lot of kids." "That's what I care about." "What's going on with you?" "I got something to show you." "That's good." "That's real good." "Keep your wrists up, okay?" "No, no." "Evan, he's having trouble with the music." "He doesn't feel it." "He's ready to start learning." "He's ready." "Can you show him?" " What are you doing?" " Just keep playing." "Hasn't this kid been through enough already?" "How can you say that?" "You, who when we watched those tapes were ready to throttle the guy." "And you were the one who was telling Evan that everything was going to be okay." "It is okay, if he's the victim, not the abuser." " He's both." " Who's next?" "Evan hurts another kid, we are responsible." "Give it a few years, we'll have another Holt on our hands." "The same laws that bind Holt, bind Evan too." "Mark, it's Don Cragen." "I think you better get down right away." "Larry said that Jonathan didn't feel the music." "He said, "How can you play a piece about longing, when you haven't felt that?" "Jonathan was playing "The Entertainer."" "It's the way I learned how to play." "What are you going to do with your talent now?" "Look at me." "Look at me." "How many times did this happen?" "Once." "That's it." "Don't lie to me." "That was the only time." " You committed a crime." " And deserve to be punished." "You still want to testify tomorrow?" "You're going to be arraigned this afternoon." "Am I going to jail?" "We probably could make a deal." "What...?" "You don't think it's fair we give this kid a deal?" "Fair?" "I don't know what I know anymore, you know?" "Yeah, I mean we're stuck right in the middle of this thing." "We watch that boy on tape, a victim being subjected to thing that no child should ever have to suffer." "Who are you talking about, Jonathan or Evan?" "All right, point taken." "But I was talking about Evan." "He was abused, and then he turns around and does it." "An excuse." "You think that's all it is, an excuse?" "I think, it relieves him of an awful lot of responsibility." "The idea that abuse begets abuse, begets abuse, is a rationalization that's been used by countless defense lawyers." "But in this case, it also happens to be true." "He had a choice." "Yes." "Evan, the adult, had a choice." " And he committed a crime." " And we're cops." "And we'll deal with that." "But you see, what's eating you, is Evan the little boy." "The boy on the tape." "What choice did he have?" "Bail is set at 25,000." " Your Honor..." " I think that's more than fair." "It is fair, and we appreciate the court's generosity." "But, may we approach the bench?" "Your Honor, my client can't make that." "So he spends the night in jail like anyone else." "Your Honor, the People are right now in the middle of trying Larry Holt," "Evan is our key witness." " When is he testifying?" " Tomorrow." "Stress of spending the night in jail will probably affect his testimony." "All right, then." "Until his testimony is completed," "I'll release Evan into the custody of the People." "Starland Hotel 346 West 38th Street Wednesday, February 9" "You hate me, don't you?" "I don't hate you." "Well, what you said in the diner that night... / Yeah, that was before." "Look, what happened to you is terrible." "I look at you and I try seeing that little child being abused." "Only..." "Only now you see an abuser." "Yeah." "Yeah, I do." "I see a guy that... if you ever came near my child..." "My kid must have put that in there." "He's determined to make Christmas come every night." ""Twas the night before Christmas" "And all through the house Not a creature was stirring," "Not even a mouse."" "Don't." "When I would play, he would sit next to me on the bench." " Why?" " Made it easy to turn the music." "Did he ever touch you when he would sit next to you?" "Yes." "He would keep his hand on my back for good posture." "Evan... did he ever touch you anywhere else?" "Yes." "Supreme Court Sentencing Hearing Friday, February 11" "During the trial I heard from the prosecution," "I heard from the defense, but I did not hear from you, Mr. Holt." "You want to say something now?" "No, Your Honor." "I've read the pre-sentencing report." "Nothing in it indicates you feel any remorse." "Nothing indicates that I should be lenient." "Mr. Holt... note by note, you eroded the hope of every child in your charge." "You stole from them." "You stole from this community." "I sentence you to 115 years, the maximum the law allows." "Maybe knowing that you will never teach another child will fill some of us again with hope." "Will he really be in jail that long?" "He'll be eligible for parole in 38 years." " But he's almost 60." " Yeah." "Isn't math wonderful?" "Absolutely not." "We're trying to spare your son the ordeal of testifying at trial." "Jonathan doesn't testify, that son of a bitch goes free." "No, he won't be free." "He's pleading guilty, he will be on probation." "A heavily supervised probation." " My son is the victim here." " Sir, we know that." "And we are not trying to excuse Evan, but this does go back to Holt." "You saw how fast that jury came back." "And I want that other kid to go to trial." "I know you do." "And I sympathize with you, believe me." "Isn't the most important thing here that these men never be allowed to do anything like this again?" "That's not justice." "It's special laws for special people." "No, sir, not at all." "It's almost a done deal." "Then you undo it, because if you don't, I'm going to call every newspaper, every television station, every person that'll listen for two minutes, and tell them how certain child molesters are worth" "your time and energy and how certain other ones aren't." "What's that?" "It's a letter from Julliard." "Did you open it?" "Congratulations." "Evan pleads guilty, we don't go to trial." "Judge won't cut a deal." "How long would I be in jail?" "The felony carries a one to three year sentence." "I think a judge will feel politically obligated to give you the maximum." "We go to trial, we probably end up with probation, right where we started." " We withdraw our guilty plea." " Okay." "No, Jonathan can't go through that." "But you'll be in jail for three years." "Look..." "I don't know what made Holt the way he is... but I do know why I am the way I am." "And it stops here... now."