"Wow." "That's fucking hot." "Fuck!" "Did it leave a mark?" "Yeah." "Fucker." "It hurts?" "Yeah." "He was shooting it and I walked up and he just felt it." "So close." "Fuck!" "Ow!" "Fuck!" "That burns, dude." "Yeah, dude." "Double-cross a double-crosser." "You ready?" "Yeah." "By the way, Wee Man makes a very cute duck." "He's adorable." "All political correctness aside, little white swan in a big black swan's neighbourhood." "Always dangerous." "Question of the day." "Will the ugly duckling become a beautiful swan, or will he just get his ass kicked?" "You be the judge." "The ugly duckling's only hope is to give the black swan a French kiss." "Yeah, give him a kissy-poo." "Rub his tummy." "He has a good right hook." "Shit." "Run away, run away." "Run, Wee Man." "It's a snapping turtle on a stick." "You wanna get a picture of it, Lance?" "Come on." "I feel like a bad dad." "Are you okay?" "No, no, no, no, no, no!" "That's another thing I hate about skiing." "Fucks your baby up." "Shit!" "You're okay." "He's okay." "He's okay, yeah." "Yeah." "Don't tell his mommy, please." "She's kind of a bitch about this." "Yeah, you gotta move up a little bit." "What?" "That thing on the back?" "It'll whack me in the face." "I don't think it'll hit you." "It ain't gonna hit you, I promise." "All right, it's gonna fucking slap me." "Show him how you do it." "Fat-Fat is hungry for some chocolate." "So now I'm gonna feed him." "Come here." "Jeff?" "Dumbass." "What happened?" "The director, who's an asshole..." "You got a bloody lip." "He's like, "No, it won't hit you, get closer."" "This..." "Just one day, I just wanna have him in front of the camera." "So I can shit in his face, piss on his leg." ""It's not gonna hit you." "I bet you 20 bucks." "As a matter of fact, 40."" "Yeah." "I just want to get him in front of the camera and just have a bull run at his face, just beat the shit out of him." "Asshole." "Where'd it hit you?" "Right here." "Fuck, that's funny." "Let's party!" "We tried to film this scene on a boogie board and it was beautiful." "These, like, playtime balls in an elevator, and it opens up and I come sliding out, drop knee style on a boogie board, like this." "Like that." "And you might not use this, I might be babbling, but I'm just gonna give you a little background on drop knee riding and my history with it." "Drop knee boogie boarding was invented by Jack "the Ripper" Lindholm on the north shore of Oahu, and he would ride the big waves of the Pipeline" "in a position kind of diagonal with his weight more on his back foot." "Like this." "And then, later, the next famous drop knee boogie boarder was Keith Sasaki." "He was a small wave hotdog." "He would ride a little more upright and more facing forward for a small wave attack." "When I was in the elevator, I had to ask myself," ""Chris, what are you gonna do?" "Drop Jack the Ripper style," ""for big wave tube riding?" "It is a big drop." ""Or for a hotdog attack," ""like Keith Sasaki?"" "And what I did was, I kind of combined the two." "Takes a lot of strength and power and aggression." "I knew I had all three of those elements, but could I combine them?" "I think so." "You can decide when you watch." "I just got to work and I heard Bam's asleep in the van." "Come with me, Rick." "You can pay for one of them fancy defibrillators, or you can just get the boys to build you one." "Way to go, boys." "So someone said that Bam's asleep in the van and I'm gonna go give him a little wake up with this high-tech defibrillator that the boys have made." "Are those air hockey..." "It's defibrillator paddles." "Clear!" "Where's he at?" "Where's he at?" "Clear!" "Fuck you, man." "What happened?" "Did he get you?" "Did he..." "Yeah, he got me." "God, I was worried 'cause you weren't responding to people." "At least, we know you're alive." "I just saved his life." "I just saved your life, Bam." "Do you have a fear of heights?" "An extreme fear of heights, yes." "That's my biggest fear in the world, is heights." "I pictured, like, a pirate ship, maybe 10 feet off the water." "Yo, ho, ho and a bottle of rum" "Not this fucking nightmare." "This ship would have to be on fucking fire for me to jump off of it." "Shiver me timbers, matey." "We're making our peg boy walk the plank today for the attempted and successful mutiny on my poop deck." "Preston was caught violating the fellow crew and if we don't punish him for it, people are gonna think we enjoyed ourselves." "All right." "Out there." "Whatever you do, don't look behind you." "One, two, three!" "Wait, wait, wait, wait!" "What?" "What?" "What?" "Dude, it fucking sucks." "Are you fucking kidding me?" "I think, if we would have had a bigger cannon with more power to knock me off, it would've been a golden bit." "But it's not a perfect science, when you're shooting a fat guy with a cannon." "We can make the impact much stronger this time, right?" "Yeah." "All right, reload it, let's do it again." "Okay, three, two, one!" "Man overboard!" "Crap!" "It's beautiful!" "Yeah, Preston!" "Man overboard!" "Oh, my God!" "Man overboard." "Crap!" "It's beautiful!" "That's it for this bit." "Are you ready for 3.5?" "Did the rock salt hurt yesterday?" "Oh, my goodness!" "Yeah, I got that shit on my ass, too." "There's our launch pad, right over there, where that camera is." "Landing pad." "Space station." "Space." "Easy day." "Easy day." "Final frontier." "It is." "It is." "In the early days of Jackass, Bam used to be really homophobic, and he used to really say, "No gay stuff for me, man."" "And now, he's always the first of all." ""Oh, you're gonna shoot a dildo rocket?" ""Shoot it into my ass!"" "Dunn got caught shoving that tiny Corvette up his butt" "and..." "I get caught." "...everybody talks about it." "So I just have a lot of bits involving my ass, simply because he got caught shoving a Corvette up his butt." "So you're just admitting to stealing my thunder," "right here in front of me." "A little bit." "Right here and now." "Jesus." "That's what you get, enough of the gruff." "What you're about to see is extremely dangerous." "Kids, I beg you, never try this at home." "This is Rocket Ass." "I'm gonna land this missile right on your anus." "I'll bet." "Pucker up, buttercup." "I am." "What?" "Like you've never seen this before?" "God be with you." "You better give me a countdown, you son of a bitch." "Three, two, one." "Blast off!" "Oh, my God!" "It's terrifying." "It seems to me, when it comes to things going up the butt and so on, like when you're the giver, you're totally innocent, the receiver is the one that's a little bit goofy." "But when it comes to oral play, the guy receiving it is totally innocent, the guy giving it's guilty." "What's up with that?" "We're about to get Steve-O and/or Knoxville raped by a donkey." "On Wildboyz, we filmed these two men in a llama suit that got raped by an elk." "And we thought that was the funniest thing we've ever shot." "In our opinion, no one ever saw Wildboyz, so let's get it again with a donkey and a donkey suit, that will be funny." "Steve-O, how come you're always the back in this situation?" "I don't know, man." "Because I don't feel like getting my eye glued shut." "Oh, my God." "I think that if you look at that helmet, you're in a much tougher spot than I am." "What has two thumbs and loves donkey cock?" "This guy." "What's your predictions?" "I only hope there's a lot of biting involved and penetration." "I don't think this scene is done until somebody gets penetrated." "Steve-O." "And now it's time for the Donkey Ride." "All right, Knoxville and I, we're in the donkey suit, trying to get fucked by a donkey." "Yeah, that didn't work." "You want them kind of closer to the gate here?" "Yeah, we're trying to get to the..." "But neither one of these jackasses seem to be interested." "We need an erection." "We need to get an erection for..." "I'll jerk that fucking thing off." "If that's what the scene is gonna come down to," "I'll jerk that thing off." "I'll do that with no fear." "I'm an animal lover." "Let me go find out." "You know, in Jackass, I think, we used to let bits fail a lot easier before, but now, we're pretty committed to 'em." "This is gonna turn out to be like underwater farts." "We're just not gonna throw in the towel." "We're gonna keep doing it every time." "Take two, donkey fucker." "We're here to watch live bestiality, disguised as a comedy." "There's something wrong about this." "Yeah." "The slippery slope." "Okay, guys, we got here, this is love potion number one." "This is the real, original, donkey love potion." "It's pee-pee?" "Yeah, of one that's in season." "That means in heat?" "In heat." "And if we were to pour that on his haunches," "then it might encourage the donkey to.." "Hopefully so." "Yeah." "All right, well, let's..." "Is this love..." "Okay, let me put the head on." "Let us get all into donkey mode first." "Hey, Knoxville, put a little around the mouth hole, too." "Yeah, yeah." "You think you're safe 'cause Steve-O's in the back, man?" "That donkey might want a blowjob, man." "I've seen this shit happen before." "Wow!" "That's very syrupy pee." "You watch out, Knoxville." "Thank you." "Let me make sure this stuff is cool." "Wow!" "You gotta see this shit." "Oh, wow!" "It's very syrupy..." "So..." "...and it's fucking delicious." "Yup, I drank it." "My stomach is getting..." "I never used to have a nervous stomach, man." "Working with Steve-O this long makes me have one." "So we shot this bit over and over and over again..." "We are ready and waiting." "...we never got it." "I guess they just weren't very attractive." "Jackass 4, we'll get one of the guys raped by a donkey." "Well..." "Why are we in Europe?" "Right now, we're doing a Jackass tour." "It's our world tour." "The European press tour for Jackass 3D." "I thought it'd be fun to bring everybody and just run our victory lap right now." "Johnny, you ready?" "Yeah!" "Okay!" "Is mise Johnny Knoxville." "Welcome to Uploaded." "Thirty seconds!" "Dublin's fun, man." "They got the spirit of it, you know?" "It's a good country for us, I think." "Five, four, three, two..." "I love Ireland." "Everyone's spirit's so good." "We were doing a radio show a second ago and they had a poem writing contest." "They don't do that in America." "I'm drunk." "Go figure." "Something about an endless pint of Guinness gets you drunk." "Hello." "Holy..." "How's it going?" "What's going on?" "We're at the Jackass 3D premiere in Ireland." "Drink up." "How's your European tour going?" "It's good." "We're winning Ireland right now." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "How's the European tour going?" "Fuck off, Rick." "A fox in the middle of London." "That's crazy." "That was worth the whole trip." "We did the London Jackass 3D premiere last night on the world's biggest screen." "That thing was huge." "It was?" "I don't even remember." "I was too busy being drunk." "Surprising." "Oh, my God." "Rick Kosick is filming on the red carpet for a major motion picture in London, England." "How about them apples, Rick?" "You used to be a skateboard photographer working out of your trunk!" "Now, look at you." "I wanna know who the fuck's idea it was to schedule my interview the morning after the God-dang London premiere." "Me?" "Mr Afternoon." "This is so exciting." "They get crazy here in England, man." "Like, every premiere we've done in England has been crazy, and this is no exception." "The London premiere was rad." "There was a lot of kids there and..." "Yeah, London." "Yeah, a lot of..." "It's..." "London was fun." "I'll hit you right back, dude." "I'm gonna hit you right back." "Hit me in the face." "Come on." "Fuck is wrong with you?" "I'm just saying." "What are you saying?" "Let's go." "I'm in the back seat of the fucking car." "Wave!" "Do this." "Wave." "They were in their little orbs, and there's a little hole, like a birth hole, and Bam just dropped straight out of it like a poop." "He fell out?" "Bam just fell out." "That was quality entertainment." "Top-notch entertainment going on right there." "The Madrid premiere was kind of like a rumble." "We were at these train tracks, and on the other side was this movie theatre, and all these kids, these people, you know?" "And, like, just screaming like this gnarly army." "I felt kind of like Dally in The Outsiders." "Patrick Swayze played the older brother." "It turned out they didn't want to fight at all." "They just wanted to watch a movie." "And, then, the movie was in Spanish, and that was even better." "Who needs Tyler?" "What's going on right now?" "Not as bad as the guy..." "Fucking Spain." "My name is Johnny Knoxville, and I'm gonna drop in on the vert ramp for the first time ever." "Come wash my back!" "How did Jackass begin?" "I was making a skateboarding magazine called Big Brother, which is really more of a dirty, ridiculous, humour magazine that had skateboarding in it." "And a lot of the guys were featured in the magazine, like Bam and Wee Man and Pontius and Steve-O." "We already had all those guys." "And Knoxville came to me with the idea to do the self-defence test." "I had an article I wanted to do on self-defence equipment where I wanted to test it on myself and I pitched to a bunch of magazines and they all said no." "They liked it but they didn't wanna back me and then Tremaine's like, "Yeah, we'll back you."" "All right, you guys ready?" "He also said it's a good idea if we film it, 'cause I hadn't planned on doing that, I was just gonna write the article." "Well, I am Johnny Knoxville, United States of America, and I'll be doing a little article on self-defence equipment." "Hit me!" "I feel like my eyes have gonorrhoea." "And around that time of all that happening, some people saw some of the videos we did for Big Brother and they offered me a show and I didn't want to do it without Jeff." "I don't know why." "So I called Spike, who I'd grown up with, and I knew he was the one who could probably get this on TV and he thought it was a great idea." "So we called Bam." "Bam was making CKY videos at the time, which were very similar to the Big Brother videos in their sensibilities." "I said, "Bam, I'm trying to make a TV show," ""I wanna use some of your CKY footage."" "And I'm gonna cut it up with some of this Big Brother footage." "We're gonna make a tape." "What the..." "And we made this tape and we pitched it to a bunch of different networks, and MTV was the one who was into it." "They bought the idea and they gave us money to go make a pilot and so that's what we did." "See, you just gotta film all that action." "We're getting a good long shot, the wide shot..." "You're kind of more like a tighter shot." "Right." "Obviously, there's a system to shooting television and a format you have to follow like the wide, there's a tight, you cover that coverage, and somehow it all comes together into one but back then, we didn't know that." "How do we hit the colour bar again?" "The what?" "Don't worry about it." "Just get up there." "You sure?" "The colour bar?" "Yeah, I don't do any of that shit." "Spike said just turn the camera on and roll." "You can tell they are all still photographers when Ballards and Kosick, I believe, are talking." ""Well, yeah." "I don't know this." ""Spike told us to do this." "Spike told us to do that."" "They can only operate the camera based on the information you gave them and they can't remember that information." "Oh, my God." "This is auto-exposure, right?" "That would however..." "I use this on and I've been using the auto-focus." "That shitty?" "There was a big battle in the early days when we were shooting the pilot, because we did a bit where we got a lot of cops involved." "Really almost ended the whole thing before it even started." "No." "No, I'm filming." "Yeah." "I'm dressed in an orange prisoner's outfit and went to a hardware store and tried to get 'em to saw the handcuffs off." "Cops rolled up fast with their guns drawn." "What's insane is we were so surprised, right?" ""Wow, this is crazy!"" "Yeah." "Yeah, we were making a movie about an escaped convict." "After the escaped convict bit, they wanted to shut us down, but we had already booked our day to shoot the trash truck, which was a big expense for us." "So they're like, "All right, you can go shoot that." ""They're not gonna get into too much trouble there."" "I guess this show may get to air, it may not." "But..." "You have anything to add, Jeff?" "I do not think..." "Let's just think about the Poo Cocktail today." "You know, we'd all shot skate videos, you have your friends, you have a video camera, you had something fun you wanna go do." "So it was like carrying on the same way as that." "Mr Knoxville is ready for his close-up." "It was a simple idea, just cover Knoxville in poo." "The Poo Cocktail was a real group effort." "We put a Porta Potty out in the back of our offices and everyone used it for, like, a week." "The poo we got was from a lot of sources." "One, it was all the crewmembers." "I'm pretty sure, just about everybody pooped in there." "Rick poo'ed into it 10 times and Rick's poos are like tennis ball cans, if you spray painted them brown." "My name is Johnny Knoxville, and this is the Poo Cocktail." "It's as safe as you would guess it is." "Your poo, especially if you leave it out, attracts a lot of bad things that you don't want on you." "I think all of the liquid is urine." "It just showers down and it was putrid smell, it smelled horrible." "I wanted to hug everyone I could, because I wanted to spread the love." "Dude, dude, dude!" "I remember I tried to get Cliver, but I don't know if I even got anyone." "What do you think?" "I got my exercise for the day." "Did you like it?" "You were skinny then, man." "Yeah, man." "Jesus Christ." "You've really gotten fat." "I'm shvitzing." "When the show got picked up to go to series, the first thing we shot," "was the roller-skate jump." "Pontius had a pickup truck, so I called him, like," ""Hey, Pontius, can you come over?" "We're gonna build a skateboard ramp," ""and take it over to the LA River."" "So, that's how Pontius got involved in that." "He had the pickup truck." "Get speed, get in a tuck, hit the jump and just hope." "Right." "We went down to the LA River, Knoxville was gonna jump the river, and I guess there needed to be a lifeguard there." "It was the first time Bunny the Lifeguard ever came out." "I think that's when everyone first realised how uncoordinated I am." "I thought everyone can at least roller skate." "It's an unconventional style that could be mistaken for a novice." "He might not be coordinated, and he might not be that smart, but he's committed." "Help me, help me!" "I thought it'd be cool to just let him keep going and I think he'd think it was fun, too." "I guess..." "I mean, where does the LA River end?" "Where does it go?" "I mean, it probably goes through all kinds of parts of town you've never been in." "Okay, now we'll try and jump it again, without the ramp." "Go, go, go!" "Man, I might have broke my ankle." "Really?" "So he makes this little leap, trying to get across and rolls his ankle real bad." "So the rest of the series, that first series of Jackass, first eight shows, he was in a cast." "He had to box Nigel in it, sumo wrestle." "Going into the show, I thought that maybe" "I might end up in a couple of casts in the first season, before it's over, and I think I did, but we just filmed through it." "Eff it." "Onward and forward." "In the early days of Jackass, we didn't have a fixed cast." "We just had..." ""This guy does ridiculous stuff, let's go film with him." ""This guy does ridiculous stuff."" "There was not even us, then, you know?" "It was just this mixture of guys." "It's not like, "Hey, you made the cast, because there was no cast."" "Hey, Jeff." "In Jackass..." "Yo, what's up?" "...we have to have a "Kick my Dad's Ass" section." "Absolutely." "So we go to West Chester to meet Bam." "We'd seen his CKY videos, so we knew that Bam had this whole world." "All right, you guys ready then?" "You wanna go in?" "It's the first time I met Ryan, I met April." "Hello." "Hi, I'm Jeff." "Hi, I'm April." "Hi, April." "Nice to meet you." "Nice meeting you." "Did you guys find your way here pretty good?" "Yeah." "She's just such an everybody's mom, and made us all feel welcome." "Well, when you're done filming," "I have spaghetti." "Spaghetti." "She made us promise that we were gonna come over there for dinner, and she made a huge spaghetti dinner for everybody." "And it was just awesome." "Ryan's gonna jump in shit." "Why would he do that?" "No, he's gonna." "Why would he do that?" "You know the shit tanks?" "Why would he do that?" "Why not?" "Why?" "What do you mean, "Why?"" "Like, what's the purpose of that?" "'Cause he's fucking brave, that's why." "Brave?" "Yeah." "I don't know about that." "Bam had called us and said, "Hey, I've got this friend, Ryan Dunn."" ""He's really funny, he should be on the show."" "And in true Jackass fashion, no casting, no nothing, we took his word for it." "What's your name again?" "Ryan." "Ryan, so what are we getting ready to do?" "Jump into a poo-stew." "Poo Dive was one of the first things I filmed with you guys." "Bam found some poop plant or something and he told me about it and we thought it would be funny if one of us jumped in." "Of course, that one of us turned out to be me." "Dude!" "Look at that sloppy shit coming out of that." "I live right down the street, so technically, it could be my shit." "So then, it's all right, 'cause I did a shit not too long ago." "I think that we are all just so excited to film because it was like the first time a whole crew comes in from California to film us." "So we just wanted to get footage, we didn't think anything through, we were just like, "Let's just do it!"" "The geniuses that we are, we duct-taped his butt crack." "This is gonna do absolutely nothing and I'm just putting it on because at this point I don't care." "The holes in his nose and his mouth," "I guess, those were okay to have something go into." "I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is Poo Diving." "I just jumped in, I didn't even think about it and I thought it was so funny that I didn't even have the smell coming into my nose or anything until after I got out, and I got more enjoyment out of affecting everybody else" "with the way I smelled, than it was affecting me." "It smells so bad!" "It smells so bad!" "I'm getting rid of this shirt." "I think it went pretty good." "It smelled good." "You only got two drops right there." "Yeah, that's all I got." "Good for you." "And it's good to see it happen to Ryan, 'cause he's an asshole." "So we filmed this Poo Dive bit, and right after that, we were supposed to go over to April's house." "And she had made a big family dinner of spaghetti for the whole crew." "What do you have on you?" "What's that?" "Nothing." "No, what's that?" "What's that on you?" "What?" "What's this on you?" "We got all cleaned up." "Don't worry about it." "What's that?" "I don't know!" "Ryan!" "My mom freaks out about everything." "Anything and everything, like you get a little bit of piss on the couch, she flips out." "Go outside!" "I'll kill you." "Oh, my God!" "Not that way, through the back!" "Well, I'm already this far." "I'm already this far!" "Oh, my God!" "He's still just caked in shit water and she's disgusted by it, so she made Ryan sit outside and eat his spaghetti out on the street." "There you are." "Thanks, April." "Oh, my God." "You're welcome!" "I didn't shower after the Poo Dive for at least a week, I know that, and it could've been much longer." "I can't remember the last time I showered." "I'm gonna barf here, dude." "Just tuck your head down." "Here, put a pillow over on this side." "You ready?" "Are you okay?" "No, I'm not!" "We assembled an exceptional group of freaks." "That all gelled..." "By chance, really." "Yeah." "It was..." "In the end, it was people we thought were funny, people we wanted to hang out with," "people we wanted to film..." "And Ehren." "And Ehren." "It's fine." "So we go over to Portland to shoot Dave England." "And my friend, Whitey, lives up there." "He said, "You've got to meet this guy, Ehren," ""I filmed some crazy stuff with him."" ""He's got some ideas."" "And he pitched the idea of Fast Food Football." "Go, go." "Is there ketchup in there?" "So we thought, "That'd be great."" "We meet Ehren." "You know, Ehren's Ehren." "You think I should grab it, and just stay running backwards, and then do the shuffle?" "Or spin, run forward, and then turn around again?" "I think I should spin and run backwards." "Fast Food Football was, probably without a doubt, the funnest thing that I've ever filmed." "Not only was it pretty much the first thing that I filmed with everybody." "It's so simple." "You be lurking on the backside, it'll shield you from the pay window, and when I say..." "When someone says go, you have to be very, very quick." "The timing has to be perfect, 'cause the lady sticks her arm out there, and you gotta grab the food real quick." "I'm gonna be standing there holding the food, and she's..." "I have to keep her attention on me." "Ask her, say, "You have..."" "Yeah, I got it." ""Could I get some more ketchup?"" "And then we..." "You think ketchup and not pepper?" "Or pepper, yeah." "Pepper's better, 'cause they don't usually put pepper in." "As far as being able to ad lib, every situation is different." "I feel like I've been able to do pretty well for myself." "What did the coach order?" "Couple of boogers." "I think I'm pretty good at coming up with stuff off the cuff." "I mean, I'm still here, aren't I?" "It's been 10 years." "Ladies and gentlemen, Steve-O the clown!" "Our first trip to Florida to go meet Steve-O, we meet him at this flea market circus." "This is Steve-O's dressing room." "These are pretty good digs." "Yeah, man." "Really ghetto circus, and Steve-O's all hot to shoot, and the first thing we're supposed to shoot, is him diving into elephant poo." "Well, Steve-O's car breaks down about five minutes into our journey to his house." "We're sitting in the parking lot, we figured, "What could we do to shoot?"" "So we went to the store and Steve-O was like," ""I could do this trick where I can swallow a goldfish" ""and then puke it back up."" "While we were waiting for the goldfish to arrive," "Jeff decided it was a good time to get a haircut." "Does it look cool?" "I filmed the bit with the mullet, and then, Trip walks up with the goldfish and Steve-O does the Goldfish Trick right in this parking lot." "Just go for it." "You wanna just explain what you're gonna do." "Yeah." "I wanna swallow this goldfish and puke him into the bowl." "Okay, are we ready?" "I had a different idea of how I was gonna do the Goldfish Trick." "I thought I was gonna chug all this water, so that I could like..." "And puke instantly." "But my car broke down in the middle of the road, and it was like, "Okay, we're gonna go get the goldfish."" "I was like, "Wait, I'm not ready!" "I'm not ready!"" "I wanted to make a safe fishbowl environment, in my stomach for the..." "He just swallows this goldfish and then he just starts puking, and puking and puking and it's not coming out." "And we're all just filming like, "Who is this dude?"" "Just, like, dry heaving, and thankfully and that made it last two minutes long." "Two minutes of face time which changed my life forever." "Come on, dude." "When Steve-O vomited the goldfish, I knew it was magic," "I knew we were getting..." "He was gold." "Just him trying so hard to puke it up." "It was just such a ridiculous scene, 'cause we're in this little parking lot, and there's people walking by and he's just puking his guts out trying to get this poor little fish back out." "Yeah!" "With Steve-O's car breaking down, we got two great bits in an improv way, and that's how Jackass works, when things don't go right, sometimes things go better." "Hey, buddy." "Hey, buddy." "I think we're more scientists than television show producers." "Just what we were proving possible and not possible, it was like..." "That's as close to science as you get." "Home run!" "Watch out, watch out." "When the show came out, there really wasn't anything like it." "It was sort of in this skate video format where whatever we thought was funny would be there." "Instead of putting it all into one sketch or three sketches, we put 20 in an episode and just," ""That's..." "You don't need that part." ""Here, just show the punch line and that's it."" "The Blind Driver was my idea." "Basically, I just came up with the fact that blind people can't really drive, or probably shouldn't drive." "When you're talking out loud and you're talking about," ""Ehren's gonna be a blind driver, he's going to pull out, hit a car," ""then pull out and then hit Dave."" "That's it." "That's all you need to cover." "You'd think that'd be very simple." "Not for this crew." "No." "It was one of those things where it was just like," ""Here's an idea!" "Blind Driver!" "We'll just start filming it!"" "And then no one really thought it out." "So, every time we'd go to shoot it, no one was on the same page." "Blind Driver was the most elaborate prank we had pulled at that time." "It really took a lot of thought as to where to put all the cameras." "I'm over here just getting the crash again." "The bike's coming from..." "What do you want?" "You want me to get reactions?" "That's it?" "I think you should just film..." "Should you just get..." "Are you gonna get..." "Do you feel comfortable getting it?" "Just give me one thing to do and..." "Reactions." "Okay, I'll try reactions." "All right." "I think we should all film the crash, then reactions." "The funniest thing about Blind Driver to me is you get to see Tweedledee, Tweedledum, Tweedledoo, all sitting there mapping it out." "It really does highlight the fact that we have no idea what we're doing at any time." "The whole thing that makes Jackass work is because no one really knows what they're doing." "I think if we're all pros it'd be a shitty thing to watch." "The lack of talent in front of the camera and the lack of talent behind the camera, you know, it's all just one totally incompetent machine." "Kosick, you have a few times where you didn't have a tape and a camera, possibly." "Maybe." "I doubt it." "There might have been a couple of times where it actually wasn't rolling and I thought it was, but I've always had a tape in." "You had a tape in the camera, but it just wasn't rolling." "Yeah." "All right." "Well, there was a lot of that at the beginning." "When we first started Jackass we had a lot of stuff that we couldn't afford so we'd find cheap ways to come up with creative..." "We ended up walking into Parkway Hardware looking for props and I think it was Jeff who ended up grabbing a bunch of wheelbarrows." "He took off the handles and put wheels on them and ended up doing the bucket cart thing." "But then you took them to Ridley Park with the huge hill." "Yeah." "And killed each other." "What cracks me up..." "They put the pillow in the bottom of the bucket, like that's gonna do anything." "In full Jackass fashion, what do you do?" "You make it bigger, you add a ramp." "My fucking tailbone is seriously broken." "I'm not even kidding." "What is he saying, John?" "He broke his tailbone." "It's all right." "We don't have tails any more." "What's the purpose of having one?" "Bam landed just flat on his tailbone so we had to take him to the hospital." "And we had no idea that when you get your tailbone x-ray'd your penis is just gonna come out crystal clear." "You can see his pee-pee." "No, no." "We don't want to see it." "They let us show that on TV." "I'm amazed they let us show that on TV." "My dick in February is smaller than usual." "He was saying how cold the x-ray room was." "We should have taken a hairdryer over there for him so he could, you know, warmed it up a little." "You know, MTV sometimes can't clear things, but of course my February dick got cleared, so rad." "Pudding, right?" "Little closer, please." "Not any more." "Now it's baby poo-poo." "Don't you think it's your poo-poo?" "Baby took a little poo-poo." "I had this idea to put something that looked like poo which we used pudding, inside of a diaper, wrap it up and then have it, you know, waiting for me inside of a trash bin." "Poo Diaper, we had a real hard time getting it on the air, like, really hard, to the point where I'd have discussions with the heads of the network about it." "I'd, at that point, never seen a real dirty diaper, so I didn't really think of how gross it was." "So when I start eating that dirty diaper, people were losing it." "I think lines were drawn over it." "I remember like, "Man, that has to be on the air."" "Just silly, fighting over a bit about eating poop out of a diaper." "Baby poop though, you know, what is it?" "It's just boobie milk that went through a baby." "It's not that bad." "It's horrible." "It stinks." "It's disgusting." "Keep God out of California." "I'm not a bad guy." "All that stuff that they wrote about me was a lie." "Almost always, when we're doing a prank in public and we get someone, they have a really good sense of humour about it." "But there are those rare cases where they get a little hot." "You might know of me from that book that you read." "I remember being like, "I think we're gonna get beat up down here."" "These people aren't real welcoming of us, especially Pontius walking around in a devil suit." "It's late in the afternoon at this point." "People are starting to get distracted, Jeff's working on his hair." "And no one really knows what we're doing out here." "And then, it's like it came down from heaven." "This dude snatches the sign out of his hand and just breaks it over his knee." "I thought he was a setup guy." "I thought the guys got someone in to do a prank on me." "I'm a nice man, sir." "Fucking die right here, fucker?" "I came here..." "Get the fuck out of my fucking sight." "I came here to face..." "Get the fuck out of my fucking sight." "Fucker." "That's not Christian." "I'm fucking warning you guys right here." "Chris is all not sure what to do." "He's not..." "He's not allowed to hit this guy back." "But we don't have security or anything like that, so he's just kind of confused." "And then this dude just keeps going at him and they take it to the sidewalk and just start wrestling." "Hey, hey, hey, bitch!" "All right, so all hell's breaking loose." "This is when, to me, the bit gets the funniest, because he's trying to wrestle this guy and yet, he's got little satin booties on so he can't get traction, and the guy's just trying to fight him." "It was just one of the most chaotic scenes we ever shot." "Go." "Oh, my God, that was beautiful." "It was so good." "At the beginning, it was anything." "At the beginning, the whole idea was we can have a TV show that's in any format, just whatever we think is funny." "And if we think it's funny, just like a close-up of a spring doorstopper going back and forth, then let's just put that in." "I think, with Jackass, it was just this energy that you can..." "It's real." "It is a magical thing in my opinion." "That was my coming of age, in my opinion." "Body in the Trunk airing on TV was when I realised, "Holy crap." ""That's my friend Chris Pontius' butt running down the street on national TV."" "It was like, "Yes, Jeff, you've made it."" "If any Wee Man gas comes out I'm whipping your little ass." "I'm glad you used the word "little" in front of "ass."" "I would have used the word "sweet,"" "but you and I are a little different with each other." "When Jeff came with Knox and said," ""Hey, we're filming this thing called Jackass."" "I was like, "Yeah, right." ""Nobody is gonna wanna watch it." "We're gonna be nobody."" "But it skyrocketed." "In Jackass, you gotta have these dynamics, you go from "gross" gross to funny to cute." "You know, our..." "I don't know how the graph would go." "Right after you shoot something gross you gotta have something real G-rated, fun and light to follow that stuff." "And the Oompa Loompa was one of our early days of learning that." "Hey, buddy." "We probably filmed that for seven days just to get a two-minute bit." "People like seeing Wee Man dressed up as stuff, he's just fun." "It's 'cause he's a midget." "It was very personal 'cause we were all friends, and, you know, we were getting away with murder." "And I still feel that way today." "We still get away with murder." "It's odd that it's popular." "'Cause we're just doing it to make ourselves laugh." "What's the game plan?" "Well, Santa's a little impacted so we need to get him a colonic." "We decided we were gonna do a Christmas-themed episode." "We weren't really married to the theme but we got a Santa Claus suit and some other things." "Should we write "Santa Claus" on my ass right now?" "Yeah, since we're going to tape you up." "Write it along the top." "Just "Santa Claus"?" "Yeah." "Benzo did a wonderful job of writing "Santa Claus" on my ass, but unfortunately, he spelled "Santa Claus" with an "E"." "Did I spell it wrong?" "I could have sworn it had an "E" on the end." "Just leave it." "Oh, yeah." "I was gonna make that into an "E"." "What an idiot." "He's Benzo." "What?" "He's a great guy." "You can't expect him to even be a great speller." "Are you Linda?" "Yes." "Santa wants a real colonic." "I thought this was a joke, I really did." "No." "Santa wants a real colonic." "You want a real colonic?" "Yeah." "Knoxville pitched the idea that he wanted to go get a colonic." "And I'm like, "I know just the place."" "Through your rectum we're going to send warm purified water through your entire colon..." "It's so ridiculous, man." "What do you say about the Santa Colonic?" "Santa got a colonic and we filmed it." "We were sort of making up the format of the show as we were going." "Dude, once I..." "Yeah." "Please use gloves." "I guess I left that day knowing, "God, we can do anything" ""and it's gonna be fun."" "Ho..." "Holy..." "We're in there, believe it or not." "We're in there." "I think Knoxville liked the experience of getting a colonic, actually." "In fact, I think he went and got a few more after." "It was sort of trendy back then." "I don't know if it's still trendy, but yeah, he went back and got a couple more of those." "Yeah, I think Knoxville wanted something up his butt." "Merry Christmas." "Bye-bye." "Merry Christmas." "I think what people respond to out of us is how half-assed but how genuine we are about trying to make a TV show." "I think they relate to it 'cause they think," ""Shit, I can make that." "That's cool."" "Santa's gonna add some special sauce to the eggnog for the Eggnog Challenge this evening." "It's an old family recipe." "We decided to do the Eggnog Challenge." "But it was gonna be in our Christmas-themed ideas, so we thought, "Well, Preston would be a great snowman."" "So we made him into this snowman." "He's dressed in the most awkward snowman suit." "And he was just mad, but you can't see him as mad, he just looked like this ridiculous, penguin-ey snowman." "We have the lovely Mrs Claus, my third wife." "The sexually marginalised snowman." "And with my moderately sober elf, Murray." "The logical next step in the 50 Egg Challenge was to do the eggnog." "We drank a lot of eggnog." "Johnny Knoxville put rum in it." "Are we ready?" "The real premise behind Eggnog Challenge is just to watch Nieratko throw up." "Because he can pretty much puke on command." "Back then, Nieratko was the guy we knew was an insane throw-upper." "And so, it was just a gag to make him throw up." "It's funny 'cause we've got all these mashed potatoes on the side, so after he throws up he can eat a little food so he's got something in his belly and throw down some more eggnog." "Mashed potatoes." "You want some mashed potatoes?" "Do you want some gravy on that?" "Yeah." "Yup." "Okay." "There you go." "At one point, Preston started to pass out and Nieratko pukes into his hat and then puts it on him." "Fifty." "We didn't know that Preston had such an anger streak." "So when you pour puke on Preston you get a very angry snowman, which will wreck a place." "You look like..." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "Hey, hey, hey." "Come on." "Hit the towel." "Looks like we have a winner." "He just tears the room apart, takes off." "I think we spent a half-hour looking for him after that." "I didn't even know where he went." "Why aren't you still in your suit?" "I tore it off in a fit of rage." "That was good work down there." "I lost another 20 bucks to you, though." "See, boys and girls, they do love each other after all." "And that's the meaning of Christmas." "Unconditional love for your brother." "Which would you prefer?" "Is there meat in the second one?" "No, there isn't meat in the second one, but the first one is totally made of meat." "Oh, good God." "Thank you for your time." "Jackass was on the air..." "It's still on the air for 10 years." "We only filmed for less than a year, the TV show." "And so, those episodes are played in perpetuity on MTV and everyone's like, "There's Knoxville."" "And it was 10 years ago, and they see me now and they're like, "Hasn't Knoxville gotten old?"" "Well, I don't look like that any more, I look like this." "I'm sorry." "I just wanted to get that off my chest." "You still look great, really great." "Thank you, Spike." "This is the worst fucking moustache I've ever seen in my life." "Look at it compared to my pubes." "That's not the same colour." "Sure it is." "Right after the first season, the show got popular pretty quick." "We learned fast that we had to put disguises on, especially Knoxville." "No, it's not even sticking at all." "Dude..." "Your lips like that..." "Second season, we started having to do half-assed disguises." "The only time I can do pranks now is as the old man." "And people still figure it out sometimes because I don't change my voice." "Okay, we're going to do Bloody Windshield today." "And the windshield will need to be broken, so I'm going to do that now." "The whole process of Knoxville trying to break the windshield was pretty funny." "And still to this day, I laugh at it every time." "The idea was take a car, smash the window, put blood all over it." "Put hair, human hair, in." "It was a gross scene." "Good look." "You're not gonna get away shooting the Bloody Windshield very often without cops rolling up on you." "I think that one screams, "Call the cops."" "Is he looking for us, you think?" "Oh, yeah, it's for us." "I think Bloody Windshield was the third time, if I'm not mistaken, that Knoxville had guns drawn on him by the police." "It's a TV show." "I understand." "My camera guys." "Even though we called the police department to tell them what we were doing beforehand" "doesn't mean they're not gonna show up." "What'd he say?" "Get out of the van." "Oh, crap." "They handcuffed Knoxville, they pulled us out of the vans." "Everyone in the van was handcuffed." "But I kept the camera rolling, I didn't realise it." "And they were looking in our van, making sure there's no one else in there." "Six police cars pulled in, and all drew their guns and had us all, "Hands over the head." "Hands on the ground."" "Eventually, they find out that we're just filming a TV show and they were a little upset at first but they calmed down." "So I think Bloody Windshield went pretty good." "We got stopped before we were actually finished, but it looks like we're finished now." "Fine work of the P.D. put a halt to it all." "I thought we were gonna be on TV for a couple of times, and that's it, that's all Jackass was gonna be." "And now, here we are 10 years later still talking about it." "It is pretty unbelievable we've been doing this for 10 years, because we didn't really think this would last as a TV show." "And now, we're doing our third movie in 3D." "I figured that we'd do the series and if I was lucky I'd get a couple of beer commercials out of the deal." "And I would have been happy with that." "But it's just gone way over what anything I thought it'd ever be." "It's been a long 15 minutes." "I'm 30 years old now, and I feel like if I could buy a new body I would, because everything hurts." "It's been fun, I'll tell you that much." "But I'm not gonna miss eating shit, I'll tell you that, too." "I couldn't imagine anything else I would have done in my life that would have been more fulfilling." "Seriously, I get to take poops and get paid." "Come on." "We're just making this show, cracking ourselves up, thinking that we're getting away with murder that we get to do this on TV." "Somebody's paying us this and it's gonna go on TV." "It really felt like for those 22 minutes we were gonna get to take over this television channel." "The spirits are still, like..." "It's still stupid." "Ten years later, just kicking that dead horse till its wheels fall off." "I love skateboarding." "It's like..." "Gross." "It's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it." "And action!" "You okay, dude?" "I think you cut yourself." "Your hand." "No, he's bleeding on his head somewhere." "See that?" "Someone fell right..." "Let me see your hand." "No, it's your head." "Your head's bleeding, dude." "That's all right." "Your head's bleeding, dude." "That's all right." "Are you okay?" "No, you probably need stitches." "Your head's bleeding a lot." "Medic." "Hey, you guys..." "Move back." "Can we get him to a doctor?" "Everybody get back." "You are bleeding." "Yeah, man, someone just piledrived my head into the concrete." "Was it the concrete or the suitcase?" "I think it was Bam!" "Fuck." "He's bleeding bad." "At first it hurt and then it kind of mellowed out a little bit," "I thought, "This won't be so bad,"" "and then it got really fucking bad!" "Bam can't help if he's fucking rad." "That was a great job." "He's rad, so what?" "I'm trying to slam." "No, you can't." "You're too good." "No, no." "It's gonna get really good." "You're the opposite of me." "Dunn is your man when you need a closer." "From the time he shoved that car up his ass to today." "Come through." "Yeah." "Such a valuable player." "A real closer." "Film him walking out there 'cause I think we'll need a couple of stills." "Are you excited to be a bowling pin, Loomis?" "Yeah, I feel sexy." "I feel like there's gonna be some magic happening." "We got some sort of lube." "Lots of lube spread out." "Get some good sliding with the bros." "Just all us bros sliding around in lube." "It's gonna be a blast." "It's like fucking Vietnam." "What's that?" "It's like fucking Vietnam!" "With fucking lube." "Hey." "Greg, come on." "Drive it." "You're right, Ehren." "The lube in my ass is the least of my problems, and I've mixed emotions about that." "Your dick looks awesome." "Your dick does look rad, like." "Does it look rad?" "Yeah." "Very cool." "James Dean, very cool." "What, have you never seen this before?" "Hey, astronaut, beat it." "How many astronauts you seen in flip-flops, anyway?" "Of course it's gonna go wrong." "Hut!" "Ready, set, go!" "Move it out!" "Yeah!" "Move it out!" "Yeah, keep going." "Action." "Now it's time to see..." "What was that?" "Hey, we're filming, guys." "Come on!" "Shit!" "Listen, I..." "What did you do to me?" "We're rolling." "Let's do it again." "Ready?" "You guys cool?" "I don't know." "He just did something to my neck." "They're not cool with each other." "What did you do?" "What did you do, O?" "What did you do?" "I don't understand." "It hurt." "Dave, come on." "You're holding up the movie." "What is happening?" "Felt something, dude?" "I don't understand what happened." "Did you poke me with a needle?" "Welcome to the world of AIDS." "Go!" "Doing good!" "All right!" "Yeah!" "No, wait!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "His goggles are off." "Somebody got me in the nuts." "That was me, actually." "Can we cuss on this movie?" "I know we're showing a lot of cock, but is that gonna drive it over the edge?" "I've never done anything like this, man." "Well, me neither." "I mean, who the..." "Like..." "Why would you?" "That looks good to me." "What's causing..." "That's PJ." "It's just PJ." "This tree isn't causing..." "Yeah, we good?" "Preston, you're perfect." "Yeah, let's go, let's go." "Come here a second." "Oh, God." "No!" "Oh, my God!" "Fuck!" "That was so fucked up." "Oh, my gosh." "Shit, that worked." "That totally worked." "Oh, my God." "I had no fucking idea." "Jesus!" "Those nuts are calloused." "That's the only thing that might save them." "That hard outer shell." "Why is only one irritated?" "Oh, boy!" "Don't hold on to me!" "Don't touch him." "Shit!" "Fuck!" "Shit, no more." "Fuck." "Goddamn, that's fucked." "All right, ready?" "This is the Belt Sander Skateboard." "Hit it." "I'm Brandon Novak, and this is Belt Sander Skates." "Hit it!" "All right!" "He did it good!" "You fucking landed it." "Dude, you fucking landed it, kind of." "What's your name?" "Alfred." "Alfred, how are you?" "I'm fine." "Do you like music?" "Yes." "Can I sing you a song?" "Sorry, I don't speak English very well." "Okay, I'll sing you a song, ready?" "Bye." "Old lady on the street With the new friend she meets" "He likes her He looks in her eye" "And tells her she's beautiful" "Go ahead, tell me." "I'll see you later." "Do you think I'm beautiful?" "Yeah." "All right." "Thank you." "Bye." "Bye." "I'll see you later." "When?" "I'll see you later." "When?" "Sorry." "Soon?" "Yes." "Okay, here you go." "Bye." "Bye-bye." "Once a..." "Excuse me, sir." "Will you hand me him?" "His name's Roberto." "We're lovers." "Everyone do one more." "Yeah." "Come on, Ehren." "I'm gonna get a Nazi suit." "Look at his shit." "Fucking ew!" "That's gross." "Oh, man!" "That sucked." "Will you grab me one of the..." "Will you toss me the toilet paper or the paper towels?" "'Cause I don't wanna lose this in case something funny comes..." "You just do that?" "Yeah." "Yeah, we had a midget doing the measuring and I think that he screwed up." "I think Steve-O actually won it." "Jesus!" "What the hell!" "Damn." "How did that go?" "He went for it!" "Do you wanna try it again?" "Swing your legs out." "So this is..." "Every day, so far, the past week, has been something to do with beating up my pecker." "And today, they've got some bird, a woodpecker." "He's gonna peck through the wood and then, eventually, fuck up my cock some more." "As if yesterday's stretch wasn't enough." "Or the mousetrap the day before." "Or the mousetrap attempt, the day before that." "Or just my behaviour in my private life." "I mean, as funny as balls look, you'd look really funny without them." "It's true." "That's one mean bird." "No!" "Mean people, like." "And me, dumb, being tricked into this." "I didn't think about the woodpecker would get through the wood." "I did not think about that at all." "There was no thought of that?" "No!" "What did you think he was gonna do?" "I thought he'd just peck at the wood." "I didn't realise that he'd get through to the other side." "I should've." "No, no." "That's fine." "It's that kind of thinking that gets us good bits." "Yeah." "Come on, one more." "One more." "No, no!" "One more, one more." "I'm bleeding already!" "Come on." "One more." "I don't like..." "Don't touch the birdie." "One more..." "Put your hand on top of your head." "We already did one more!" "Put your hand on top of your head." "Okay, just the middle?" "Nah." "Come on." "Come on, little buddy." "I'm over it." "That's a good boy." "That's a good boy." "Yes, that's a good boy." "It's the weirdest thing." "You play with fire, you get burned." "Fuck!" "Does it hurt?" "Yeah." "The hollow-point dildos." "Will you show us how you do it?" "Oh, my God!" "Okay." "Bam, get your ass over here." "Oh, for fuck's sake." "What about rocket ass?" "Bam, I'm just putting the head of it in." "That thing's so fast." "It has lube." "It has lube on it." "We've established that you don't really want it." "It can't hurt any worse than going poop." "It's like going poop in reverse." "That's all you're doing." "That thing went at like a thousand miles an hour." "Pooing is relaxing." "It'll be over quick." "How did I sign up for this?" "I was just sitting here, peacefully." "Bam, the chance of it going in is slim." "It's like shooting pool with a rope." "The whole moral of the story is that" "I'm gonna have to keep doing it until I get hit." "It's like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank." "Look, look." "It's not going in." "Can't Novak do this or something?" "Like that." "Get your ass up there." "To think that this is predicted to be number one movie in America." "Probably the..." "You know what I'm saying?" "Fuck that shit!" "Are we desperate or what?" "...90-degree angle." "I don't want it to hit your..." "You'll be like this." "Yeah." "This is what the world has come to." "Sodomy." "You don't worry about that..." "I feel really bad that April is having to stand here for this bit." "Yeah, I got all this lube all over me." "No, no, no, no, no." "Don't put lube on your mom." "Jeez." "That's where it gets tasteless." "Let's go." "Spread your fucking legs!" "I'm gonna." "This is the Flying Nut High-Five." "Run into it a little bit, Ehren." "Run into it." "Fuck." "It's so hard to pull off." "I think I got kicked in the face, though." "You didn't commit." "Keep rolling on him, guys." "...on that jet ski, use Preston's head..." "Oh, my God!" "All right." "It's Loomis' turn." "You're already electrified right there." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "Are you all right, buddy?" "Oh, my God." "A and C, mark." "You know what we have here, guys?" "We have two professionals at the top of their game ready to go." "It's fucking dirty needle time over here." "He's like a grouchy sunflower." "Preston needs some sunscreen right now, too." "Rick!" "Dude!" "I'm trying to make a movie, dude." "Chris is peeing over there." "You know why thunder comes after lightning?" "Like, way after, sometimes?" "Why?" "'Cause even God needs to wait for sound." "What the fuck is that?" "Jesus Christ!" "Cordell, you are a motherfucker." "You are a motherfucker." "That's called the Large Marge." "I thought I was so out of reach of you, you fucker!" "Oh, my God, you sat down?" "Look at what's in my hand." "You're just sitting there, eating an apple, sitting down." "I thought you were too..." "I didn't realise how long that thing was." "Thank God." "I remember when I was the gay one on the show, but the disease spread like wildfire through the whole cast, until the entire group of boys was batting for the pink team."