"Previously on Weeds:" "People seem to like what we're selling." "MILF weed." "It's the brand of the day." "Everybody love that shit too." "You will notice above me our very first camera." "Drugs are wrong." "I think you're turning Agrestic into a police state." "Yeah!" " I totally kick ass." " Want me to be your girlfriend?" "They think he's cool ever since he took up your cause." " What cause?" " Go drugs!" " Can I come in?" " Bad timing." "It's Dad's birthday, for fuck's sake." "We're married." "It's a business arrangement." "What was that?" "I don't know." "Your boys at the DEA." "They know about me?" "No, you're smalltime." " I thought we were under your radar." " You are." "And since I'm keeping you there, I gotta show my boss some results." "Nobody fucking move!" "This is a house of worship." " Did you tell Heylia, or did Conrad?" " You just wouldn't listen." "You ran off with one of my customers and created a new game behind my back." " She's not gonna stay mad." " You do not know Heylia." "All starts here." "Under a beautiful blue sky." ""That's mine." "No, it ain't."" ""Yes, it is."" "This is where you find out who you are." "You gonna push, or you gonna get pushed?" "So which one you think gonna win?" "Fat one." "He got more leverage." "Unless the other one bites him." "Then it's anyone's game." "I got here as soon as I could." "This is not off the freeway." " Make a left as you..." " We don't know you." "Sit your pretty ass on over there, and stare off somewhere else." "Wouldn't want the good men parked over in the Chevy thinking you something other than what you look like." "Bitch in way over her head." "Yeah." "That's what happens when you get raided." "You get two white boys in an Impala following you everywhere you go." "But she don't have to worry about that." "Do she, Levan?" "No, she don't." "Because she went off and married herself a DEA agent." "Yes, she did." "Shipped off some Armenians, and started farming." "Can you believe that?" "Can you believe that?" "I had no choice." "And I warned you about the bust." "Am I supposed to say thank you?" "You shut me down." "Ain't nothing coming in now." "We can help you get by while you get yourself up and running again." " Lord, she did not just say that." " You took away my livelihood." "Now, you think your help gonna make that right?" "No, that's just the bitch in way over her head talking." " What do you want me to do, Heylia?" " You start by talking to your husband." "Look, you have to do whatever it takes." "And if that means you got to sit on his face with roses up your snatch five nights a week you gonna do that." "Help me." "Who the fuck are you?" "Hey, Vaneeta, what ever happened to that child..." "Nancy something or other?" "That white bitch that thought she was something?" "Yeah." "Where she at now?" "She's gone now." "Vanished." " What?" " Nobody seen her since." "Oh, man." "Those poor little boys." "Losing both their parents." "Now, ain't that something?" " Can you imagine?" " Okay, stop it." "I will stop everything." "I am Heylia Turner James." "And I know where you grow." "And I know where you live." "And both you and Conrad are on the clock to make this thing right." "Tick fucking tock." "Come on, little girl." " Captain Till?" " Scottson." "Sit down." "I'm rereading your report." "I gotta tell you, Pete first time through, it gave me the shits and giggles so good I had it laminated." "All nine pages." "I'm gonna put them up on my wall over there." "And every time I'm having a crap day I'm gonna read about you and your Muslim prayer meeting." " Suspects were tipped off." " You think?" "Tell me, agent, where's the next big bust?" "Our Lady of the Crack Pipe?" " Or Temple Beth Meth?" " Surveillance is continuing." " Mike and Robby are in the Impala." " We still have wiretaps." "We're gonna wait for the woman's food to run out." "She's an open door to U-Turn." "I need some slack here." "Shuman needs Mike and Robby." " Captain." " You got hosed, Pete." " Wrap it up." " Yes, sir." "It's my anniversary today." "He forgot." "He forgets a lot of things." "Seventeen years." " How long have you and...?" " Twenty." "Eighteen." "Twenty-two." "I'm not good with numbers." " You're an accountant." " Different." "Those are guy numbers." "Years married?" "That's girl math." "I'm seized with guilt." " Are you seized with guilt?" " Seized." "Good girl, good girl." "Good girl!" "We shouldn't be doing this." "You're right." "We have families." " Children." " Beautiful children." "This would destroy them." "Legendary!" "She thinks I can make Peter disappear." "Peter wants her in jail, me out of the business." "Silas wants to skip college and be like me." "I think Shane knows." "I can't look him in the face." " I've never been to China." " Sit down." " She threatened to kill me." " Stop sucking on the straw." "Give me your hand." "Breathe." " Look at me." " What are you doing?" "Korean girl taught me this." "Keep breathing, and look at me." "I don't know what to do." "I'm out of moves." "Baby, you never had any." "Moves mean you think things through." "You have been reacting." " That feels good." " Ready to get in the back seat?" " You ready for Conrad's plan now?" " Yes." "You out." "I'm out." "You done dug yourself a pit a mile deep and a foot wide and you looking back up at a pinhole." "You out." "Yeah." "Go to him, tell him you love him." "Tell him you out after this harvest." "You get your money back." "Heylia James gets wiped off his board." "I take the equipment and disappear." " I'm sorry." " No, I don't really wanna hear that." "No, no, listen." "You've been a good friend." "No." "This ain't no Driving Miss Daisy." "I ain't about to feed you no Thanksgiving pie." "If things work out with Peter, you get your money." "You done." "You love him?" "Who?" "Agent Wonder Bread." "I'm not sure." "You think you could?" " You're out?" " The hours suck." "With no health insurance." "It's a bad job for a danger junkie." "And that's you." "I admit I have a problem." "I'm going cold turkey." " I'm sceptical." " Yeah, let me convince you." "Come to dinner tomorrow night." "Eat with my family." "Your sons?" "I don't know how thrilled they'll be." " They're good kids." " I know that." "And you're amazing." "Eat with us." "Heylia walks, Conrad leaves." " And we'll make a go of it." " Dinner." "My place." "Bring a toothbrush." "I'm staying the night?" "Peter is my boyfriend." " He makes me happy." " Just your boyfriend." "And he's in some sort of law enforcement, I hear?" "So we can all feel safe." "I've invited him over for dinner tomorrow night." "It needs to go well." " Can I invite Gretchen?" " Absolutely." " What is this we're having?" " It's paella." "Oh, right." "It's pretty." "I want you to make this again tomorrow night." " We don't have to eat the same thing..." " No." " I want you to make this." " You got it." "Kat." " You lost your cat?" " I'm Kat." " You're Nancy, right?" " I am." "There's a smell." " Grape jelly?" " No, it's fish." "Oh, that's me." "That's me." "It's sockeye salmon." "Do you want some?" "I got a whole bag." "No, I'm good." "Who are you?" " What do you want?" " Is Andy here?" " Mom, Uncle Andy's choking." " Come on in." "I've been eating nothing but sockeye salmon for the past 47 hours." "The MapQuest printout said it took 43, which is bullshit." "I mean, horse apples." "You must be Shane, hi, heart hug." "You the crazy chick who tried to kill my uncle?" "That is a great story." "Hi, Silas." "You drove here all the way from Alaska?" "I borrowed some salmon from the fishery." " She stole it." " The man at the 7-Eleven gave me Red Bull." " She stole it." "That's all I've been eating for 47 hours." "I feel great." "I drove and I drove and I drove until I hit the Interstate 5." "And that's a straight line for 1211 miles." "But I knew a shortcut." "Hi." "Hi." "How'd you find me?" "I read about your toe accident online." "Google." "I missed you so much." "I'm tired." "Fresno's beautiful." "I wrote a book." " And she is?" " Gone by tomorrow." " Promise." " Thank you." "How was your day?" "How was my day?" "It was swell." "How was your day?" "Isabel had a callback for a voiceover audition." "I didn't like the material." "Stopped by Doug's office, but he wasn't there." " Still trying to patch things up." " Good luck with that." "Dean, we have to talk." " Just a second." " No, I mean we have to talk." "What is this?" "Happy anniversary." "You thought I forgot, didn't you?" "I thought you forgot." "It's lovely." "Thank you." "Anything for me?" ""Permafuck:" "A Journal of Spirit Rape."" "Yeah, it's about us and our time in Alaska." "You're not gonna like everything, but I wrote the truth." "Abumchuk was very upset with you." " Who's Abumchuk?" " He's my boyfriend." "He read my memoir, and he wants to kill you." "But don't worry, I ditched him in Bakersfield." "I don't think he followed me." " Big Eskimo guy?" " The correct term is Inuit." "Is that him?" "No." " He's much bigger than that." " Your orange juice." "Can I have some Tabasco sauce, please?" "Sure." "Let's stay focused here." "So you wrote a book about us." "I just need you to sign a letter that says that everything in the memoir happened in real life." "Okay, so I just have to sign something, and then you'll go away." "You can read it in the van." " In the van?" " After I fuck you." "No, no, no." "Abumchuk is an old baloney." "He beats people up for me, but he's a premature ejaculator." "I can't have sex with you." "You're the last man that made me come." "I..." "No, no, no, I can't." "April 28, 2005, 5:26 P. M Ketchikan, Alaska, women's bathroom." " Deer Mountain." " Bathroom, Deer Mountain Hatchery." "We'll take the cheque." "I don't know when I stopped really loving Dean." "The only reason we're still together is because of the kids." " You know, once Isabel graduates..." " Turn on the TV." " Take your mind off your troubles." " All right." "God, that feels good." "See what's at the Food Network." "I have tapes in my bag." " Porno?" " Better." "Oh, we'll have Gretchen home by 9." "She's a great kid." "So enters the eldest son." "Where you been?" "It's 5:30." "I thought dinner was at 5:30." "Dinner was supposed to be at 5:30." "But your uncle didn't show up, so..." " We're making it ourselves." "Hey, Silas." " Hi." " What's with the outfit?" " Just an outfit." "You wanna help out?" "I'm not exactly a gourmet here." "Call me when it's ready." "So this guy's your mom's boyfriend or something?" "I guess so." "My mom's got a boyfriend." "Your parents are divorced?" "Separated." "My dad's got an apartment." "I see him on weekends." "What's that like?" "I don't know." "We go to the movies, miniature golf." "He mostly says he's sorry, stuff like that." "Sounds awesome." "Crack." "Punishment?" "The alphabet backwards." "Z, Y, X, W, V, U, T, S, R, Q, P..." "Not as good as last night." "The thing about paella is you have to watch it pretty close." " Or it turns into a..." " Sticky lump of crap?" "The thing with paella is you have to be here in order to cook it." "And some people weren't here." "So, Peter, I think your paella is great." " Tried my best." " In fact, I'm gonna have me some more." "Anybody else?" "Gretchen?" "Oh, no." "Thank you." " Silas, get your elbows off the table." " I don't wanna make this awkward but I wanted to apologise for coming by last week." "Your mother told me you were having a party in honour of your father." "Yeah, that pretty much sucked." "Silas, don't be a brat, and get your elbows off the table." "I wanted you two to know that I respect the memory of your father." " We've heard the speech." ""I'm not here to replace him." "I wanna sleep with your mom."" "Your mother asked you several times, Silas." "You're gonna let him do that?" "Show some respect." "Gretchen, this isn't how we usually act." "I apologise." "We usually have dinner at the dining room table." "We don't eat the same thing two nights in a row." "We don't use cloth napkins." "We put our elbows wherever we want." "We don't dress like we're going to a movie premiere." " Are you on your eighth glass of wine?" " You could use some boundaries, son." "Okay, dinner's over." "Silas, go up to your room." "Andy, would you drive Gretchen home?" "I would like to." "I'm a little..." "He's too stoned to drive." "I'll take her." " Silas, you're not going anywhere." " I'll drive her home." "I don't know you." " He's a policeman." " I don't know him." "You don't know Silas either." "He's Shane's brother." " All right, I'll drive her home." " You've had too much to drink." " Sorry, Mom." " No." "You're right, honey." "No need to apologise." "Gretchen, Silas will drive you home." "Silas, there and back." "This is your last ride." " Peter." " Yeah?" "I'm sorry about what I said about the food." "I'm gonna go feed the cat." "Dinner with the family." "I can't believe they let you have this stuff." "This is awesome." "You think the Agrestic police force has the budget to monitor these things?" "No." "No one sees these except me." "Oh, that was something." "Like a skeleton or something." " There." " Oh, that's Kate Valansky." "Martin's wife?" "Jesus." "I know, can't be more than 75 pounds now." "Monday through Sunday, vanishing away." " Wait, something good is coming up." " Better than the guy shitting in the manhole?" " Better." "Wait for it, wait for it." " There." " Is that Lippman, naked?" "Around 10:00 every evening." "I haven't had any complaints yet." "That's because everyone's inside, molesting their kids." "Dark." "Well, three hours of Agrestic Gone Wild will do that to you." "Has it been three hours already?" "Oh, shit." "Oh, shit." "Shit." "This is better than porn." "Yeah, well, better enjoy it while you can." "Some fucking lowlife stole two of them already." " The cameras?" " And the "drug-free zone" signs and the Sasquatch costume." " You're pissing off a lot of people." " That must mean it's working." "Hey, thanks for the dick." "Sure thing." "Promise you'll change my name." "I promise." "Good." "Here you go." "Unite victims everywhere, make millions." " You're not gonna read it?" " No, no, I'm gonna go to bed." "Sleep in the van." "You gotta be out by morning." "Okay?" "Give my best to Abumchuk." "I drove half a continent to see you, Andy." "You got your signature." "So Godspeed." "You ever been fishing in Baja?" "In Baja." "No, I..." "You don't understand." "I have a thing here." "I'm helping my sister-in-law." "I'm taking care of these kids." "I'm getting my shit together." "That would be lovely." "If you truly believed it." "What are you doing?" "Realise how many felonies we committed?" " I'm publishing the book as fiction." " Then why are you here?" "I'm going to save you, Andy." "Hey." "You look good." " You okay?" " Yeah." "No." "Not on this side." " Thought you sleep on the left side." " I do, just not in this bed." " I see." " Thanks." " Candles are nice." " They're calming." "You're incredibly sexy." " We have to be quiet." " Of course." "Why did you do that thing to his elbow?" " This didn't work out so good." " No." "It's just first time having somebody over and all." "Maybe we rushed things a little?" "Well, maybe just the sleepover part." "But I'll call you." "Thanks for trying." " It's me." " Everything all right?" "Everything is not all right." "Conrad's plan did not work out." " Then we got some problems." " We sure do." "Talk to me." "He just walked out my door five minutes ago and I don't want him ever coming back." " Did he do something to you?" " No, it's nothing like that, it's just..." "I forgot myself." "Agent Wonder Bread is not my husband." " He isn't?" " Not in this lifetime." "I do not love him, and I'm never gonna love him." " He don't know yet, right?" " No." "I left it okay, I think." "You're gonna have to play it lik e that a little longer, you cool with that?" "Yeah, I think I can do that." "Meet me at the house tomorrow, all right?" "Okay."