"How old was he here ?" "Six." "He still wasn't walking." "Livia filled the whole house with soccer balls, he crawled around everywhere, just like a puppy." "Does he look like me now?" "No, he's just like his mother, that's what Livia always says." "Your wife hates me." "That's not true." "You have to understand her, you died along with her sister." "Why the decision to let me see him now?" "The doctor said to." "Maybe seeing his father a miracle will happen, it works lots of times." "Sorry ifl made you come so far," "I had problems at work." "Every so often a trip's a good thing !" "I've got dealings here." " Does Paolo know who I am ?" " Sure." "What does he say ?" "What can he say ?" "You can't even imagine what he's like." "At home he calls us Alberto and Livia, outside, my uncle, my aunt, my father, my mother..." "He's a super kid !" "You don't deserve him." "Your life's on an even keel now, the baby's growing, wife's happy..." " I should go." " There's time, have your coffee." "What do I say when he wakes up ?" "Whatever you want." "Don't you want your coffee ?" "Paolo ?" "That's me..." "What is it?" "Anything to tell me ?" "I brought your shoes." "I woke up and didn't see you." "Everything alright?" "I mean..." "To the right." " How did you sleep last night?" "On my tummy." "You, on yourside ?" " Did I snore ?" " Something awful !" "I snored that much ?" "Did they tell you my name ?" "Gianni." "Want my number ?" "Phone number?" "Get a pen and paper." "I don't have a pen." "How about later ?" "So, it's 06... 7182402." "Want mine ?" "Give it to me." "02... 73... 44... 4163..." "I'll write it for you later." "And then I'll write yours too." "Do you know where I live ?" "In Milan." "Where's that?" "Hear the music ?" "I'll turn it up ?" "No, I hear it." "Lower it a bit, it might bother people." "Does it bother you ?" "Does it bother you ?" "No, it's okay." "Let's go get ready, this is our stop..." "Want help ?" "Don't hold on to me." "I shouldn't hold on to you ?" "You're okay by yourself?" "I'll say it for the last time," "I can do it myself!" "Lower my underwear or I'll get it wet." "Go away, I can't concentrate." "I'll stand here and won't look at you." "Then you can help me put my shirt on." "Sure, I'll put it on for you." "Did you get the luggage down from the train ?" "Yes, we'll get the luggage down, I'll help you." "Quiet !" "He'll help me." "Don't look at me." "I'm not looking, don't worry." "Nice, eh ?" "I even have the postcard at home, written "Berlin", "Lazio Team"..." "Do you know the way ?" "Straight ahead, then right, go over the bridge and you get to my house," "Via Persio, number 10." "My number is: 7182402." "My cell phone..." "What's the matter with the boy?" "I don't understand." "He doesn't understand." "Straight ahead, then right and we're there." "My brother is like him, he's in a wheelchair." "I don't understand German." "He doesn't understand !" "Look." "Yes, give it back to the man." "Let's go ?" "Are we in the hotel Or the hospital ?" "We go to the hospital later." "With all these suitcases..." "They're not ours, they belong to the lodgers." "Do they have to be operated too ?" "What do you think ?" "Come along." "I'm taller than the hospital." "You're a giant." "Now we go to the 12th floor, "Orthopadische fur Kinder"..." ""Children's Orthopedics", in German." "I slept in this hospital once." "Will I have to tonight ?" "No, tonight we sleep in the hotel." "So what did we come for ?" "To waste time ?" "No, I have to do a few things for admittance." "What is it?" "What's that kid's name ?" " I don't know." "He knows you though." "Wait right here." "His name's Andreas." "What ?" "Are you the boy's father?" "Yes." "Butyou and he have no same name." "His mother and I weren't married." "There's my power of attorney." "Doesn't matter power of attorney, we treat disease, no private life." "Can you see the game here ?" "Can you see the game on TV ?" "The game !" "Can you see it ?" "You have to say yes or no !" "No." "No, so I'm leaving." "At this point." "Now they take blood." "I've had it, I want to go home !" "I went home..." "In those hospitals... a stink of cigarettes !" "Something awful !" " Do you smoke ?" " No." "I do, tobacco." "Smoking's bad foryou." "I have to smoke ?" "Do like this." " Breathe the smoke out." "All around ?" "What are you doing ?" "What the heck's he saying ?" "I don't understand German." "Just get on with it !" "He's caressing me." "It's nothing, thanks." "Is this your first time here ?" "It's rough the first time." "It's strange to see a man here." "This is the mothers' dirty work, the fathers can't take it." "With one excuse or another, they back out." "My husband has always been afraid to get close to our daughter, to touch her." "Afraid he'd hurt her." "Excuse me." "Are you this boy's father ?" "No, I'm not." "They took a blood sample." " They took my blood..." " Put my hand here ?" "Will you let me cut it?" "It's almost all cut up." "Tiny, tiny pieces ?" " But I feed myself." " Okay." "Don't you like steak ?" "I'm not hungry." "Did Alberto give you the money to pay?" "No, I've got money." " How much have you got?" " Enough for a meal." "Have you got a good job ?" "Yes, I work in a company." "Inside a company, or outside ?" " No, for a company." " Inside or outside ?" "Inside, but sometimes even outside to check things." "What does this company do ?" "It does refrigerators, washing machines..." "Livia does her washing machines on Saturdays and Sundays." "When do you do yours ?" "I make sure they're working." "You can't imagine all the stuff they've told me !" "They told me you're my father." "Just teasing me, some of them." "They weren't teasing you." "So that's alright !" "Want another French fry?" "Now we'll go back to the hotel, so we can rest a little." "Why ?" "You might be tired." " I can walk, you know." " I know." "Is it early or late ?" "It's eight o'clock." "Then I have to go to school." "Don't worry, you don't have to go to school." "That's good." " Don't you like going to school ?" " Nottoo much." "I have an assistant teacher and the others don't." "Guess what we'll do later." "We'll eat ?" " No." "Sleep ?" "What then ?" "Guess." "I don't know." "We'll go play soccer." "Soccer ?" "Alright." " First I'll finish my ice cream." "That's enough, I don't want any more." "So, you like it ?" "Wait." "Now I don't want any more." "He wanted to walk alone, with his cane." "He hangs on that cane, nevertires." "He'll be admitted tomorrow, they just took blood today." "He wasn't scared at all, he joked, enjoyed himself." "He remembered my name, he was friendly right off." "This morning when he saw me..." "what is it ?" "Did he wake up ?" "He'll cry a little, then fall back to sleep." "Alright, go on." "Talk to you tomorrow." "Where are you going ?" "I want to go home, my Daddy's all alone." "I want to go home because my father's alone." "The other daughter's alone..." "We have to go back inside now." "Just a second..." "Let's go, meantime." "Know where I live ?" "Via Persio number 10, okay ?" "7182402." "Write it down." "Stop it !" "No, understand ?" "Quiet !" "We have to get dressed, it's cold outside." "I'll take you home." "Feel better ?" "You should have given me the medicine last night." "You forgot." "Alberto always remembers." "Turn it down a bit, it's too loud !" "Turn it down a little !" "Didn't you hear me ?" "Lower the volume, it's too loud." "You have to lowerthe volume." "What the heck do you want ?" "Lower it, it's too loud." "The other arm first, or you'll hurt me." "Later will you take me home ?" "I have lots of things to do." "What things ?" "I have to wash the dishes, do the shopping, sweep the floor, tidy the house." "Ifl don't, Alberto will kick me out." "No, he won't." "Look, I have all the keys !" "One for the gate, one for the door, one for the garage and one for the burglars." "Put them away or you'll lose them." "One time Alberto lost the ones for the car." "Whatcar have you got ?" "A big one." "A Ferrari ?" "I don't have a Ferrari..." "They always drive me to school." "I can't get on the bus alone." "Only if someone's there." "This is my girlfriend." "She's your girlfriend ?" "Pretty !" "She's beautiful." "What's her name ?" " Kristine." "Is it a foreign name ?" "From Norway." "Her name or her ?" "Her." "How did you meet?" "I haven't met her." "She sent me her picture..." "with the school." "You exchanged pictures." "Have you ever talked to her?" " She's pretty." "She's very pretty." " Do you have her phone number ?" " No." "Do you have a girlfriend ?" "I have a wife." "What ?" "Awife." "Is she kind of pretty ?" "Yes, and kind of nice." " ls she blonde or brunette ?" "She's a red-head." "Her hair's red ?" "Is she eighty-six ?" "She's a little older than me." "Kristine is four and a half." "No, that can't be..." "Yes, forty-five and a half." "Maybe she's fourteen." "No, she's was born like that..." "I can't do any more than this..." "I can just bring her, take her back..." "I can't do anything more." "I can go visit her, go out together..." "We could go together ?" "Just her and me alone." "Of course, sooner or later you'll have to meet her." "When I'm eighteen" "I can even drive a car." "Of course." "What car do you want ?" "A Bugatti." "Nice car." "We have to go to the hospital today?" "Do I have to sleep there ?" "By myself?" "No, I can stay too." " Better you don't." "Why not ?" "Better you don't because you snore at night." "Yes, gentle." "You have to be gentle." "Oh Paolo..." "Will you let me have this cap ?" "I'll wear it in the pool." "I've won a ton of medals." "Come closer, I have to tell you something." "I have to whisper it." "Peruzzi, Favalli, Couto," "Mihajlovic, Pancaro..." "You're so kind !" "You just can't imagine." "Why is the test done while he's asleep ?" "What ?" "Epilepsy." "What are you doing here ?" "Go away." " I want to stay with you." "You can't." "I can't stay with you ?" "Look what he's doing to me !" "Only one person can be here." "But he didn't tell me to leave." "I can stay." "Go away." "You really want me to go ?" " Of course." "Out!" "I've said it five times." "Reading in this light hurts your eyes." "It's a book I can't put down, do you know it ?" "It's a true story, by an Italian author:" ""Born Twice"." "Sorry, I don't read much." "You must read this one, it has to do with us." "Will the boy be sleeping here this evening ?" "They're running tests." "He kicked me out." "My daughter too." "When she draws with colors..." "When she... ?" " Paints." "When she plays with colors she wants no one around." "So you're at loose ends too." "I'm a useless person this evening." "Yesterday in the hospital, you made a strange impression on me." "You thought I was nosey." "When you spend lots of time in the hospital you get curious about other people's lives, and even a little forward." "Do you come to Berlin often ?" "Every six months." "Nadine has to do hertherapy." "Now we live in Lyon." "And you ?" "Near Milan, I transferred for work." "When I was studying in Italy I thought I'd live there forever," "I had so many plans." "What do you do now?" "I always answerthis with "l don't do anything"." "What do you mean "nothing" ?" "Nothing." "Since the day my daughterwas born." "You love her very much." "Sorry?" "Maybe I understand." "I care for Paolo very much..." "that's true." " Don't you have children ?" " I do." "An eight-month-old boy, Francesco." "It's kind of you to look after Paolo too." "Why do you ?" "Need to be forgiven for something ?" "Maybe." "I was joking !" "I meant it's a big task." "Are Paolo's parents relatives of yours ?" "They're my friends, I'm like family." "Excuse me a moment." "Are you alright ?" "Yes." "More than a friend of the family, you seemed like Paolo's father yesterday." "You had the same look as my husband when he'd go out with Nadine." "An apprehensive look, embarrassed," "like excusing yourself with people for disturbing." "I'm not used to it, I'm afraid I'll make a mistake." "It's obvious." "How ?" "I don't know, as I watched you I thought:" ""This man is ashamed."" "Is your phone off?" "They're not allowed in hospitals." "Goodnight." "Let me catch my breath a minute." "The other arm first or you'll hurt me." "You'll have to learn." "Left when it goes on, right when it comes off." "Want an orange juice ?" "Something to eat ?" "An orange juice with two straws." "Hi, how are you ?" " Do you remember me ?" "Yes." "That girl isn't very normal." "My daughter?" "The one in the bed, lying like this." "Sleeping." "Can you understand her ?" " Sure I can." "Go inside, ask Gianni to get me a cheese sandwich written "nothing on it"." "Paolo's hungry." "Thanks." "What trouble did you cause ?" "None, why ?" "The doctor is very angry, she says the real problem with some children isn't the disease, it's the parents." "Paolo is your son, isn't he ?" "Yes." "Tell the doctor I don't care If he doesn't walk well, it's other things he needs." "Know how old Paolo is ?" "Fifteen." "Sometimes he's like a pup that can't think, loving just anyone with no reason." "I'm sure that when he was born he was left alone too often, he lacked someone's warm breath." "What happened ?" "It's better I don't answer, I'd just lie again." "Your sandwich and orange juice." "She forgot her book." "What'll they do to her at school ?" "They'll flunk her for sure." "What is it?" "He's selling newspapers." " To who ?" "To German passengers." "Has he got a bike too ?" "There are some bicycles too, see ?" "What did you do ?" "Nothing." "You look terrible !" "Nothing's wrong." "How did that doctor go ?" "That's enough." "The last one." "Eat up, you're too skinny." "You have to get fat like lafrate." "Who's lafrate ?" "A friend of mine at school." "How are you doing in school ?" "I've always been promoted." "Open, or it'll get all overyou." "You're really good." "Want to see something ?" "Give me a piece of paper and a pen." "A marker..." "A piece of paper with a pen." "One sheet." "I'll show you how I can write." "You wrote "Gianni" ?" "You wrote my name ?" "Thank you." "You're welcome." "Gianni and Paolo..." "You owe me five euros." ""Dear Cristina..."" "Kristine, not Cristina !" " "Dear Kristine..."" "With a K ?" ""How are you ?" "I'm fine, thank you." "What can I say to you ?" "You're very pretty." "Pretty just as you are..." "Pretty, pretty..." "Pretty with two 't's."" "Just once, right?" " No, 10 times." "Numbered, so you can see there are ten." "That's all..." "Is that it ?" ""l love you."" "Period !" ""We'll get married and that's all !"" ""l love you..." "Then we'll get married." "Come visit me soon."" " No." "Why not ?" "I have no time, I have so many things to do." "We won't write that." "Write:" ""Why don't you get glasses ?" "I wear them and you don't, because I see double." "How do you see ?" "Single ?"" "Should we write that?" ""Alberto saw your picture."" "Slow down." ""He said: 'Will you introduce her ?" "'" "I told him: 'Not on your life !" "'" "Now that's all and bye."" "Period !" ""Lots of kisses and hope to see you soon..."" " Lots of kisses and that's all." " No "see you soon" ?" ""Yours, Paolo."" "Period." "You, period..." "Yours, period." "Yours, Paolo... period." "Yours, period and Paolo." "That's all." "You'll get tired, come sitdown." "Don't worry." "Do you like basketball ?" "Yes, but it's played standing up, not in a wheelchair." "But they're doing fine." "They're good, but they're very..." "Want to sit down ?" " No." "Wait here, don't move." "I brought your book back." "I thought I'd lost it." "This is Nadine, my daughter." "They've organized a kind of party." "She wants you to know she did these herself, you can have one as a gift." "Thank you, they're lovely." "See how happy she is ?" "She loves to be surrounded by people, to be the center of attention." "So, will you make peace with the doctor ?" "I'm not sure." "Things are somewhat more complicated." "Where's Paolo ?" " In there, watching the game." "Help me get on ?" "He makes a return shot..." "a long, head shot..." "A head shot again and he scores." "One to one." "You have to mark the other player and then kick for the goal." "That's soccer." "Volleyball is played with your hands." "Asmash, that's volleyball !" "Can you play volleyball ?" "The sound of the door slamming stayed in my head for years." "Doctors kept coming in, coming and going, all of them," "doctors and nurses." "Giulia's motherand sister looking at me from a distance" "as if to say: "lt's your fault."" "At one point I saw a priest." "They wanted to take him into the operating room where Giulia was having the baby." "I yelled something at him and I yanked thatstuff from his hands," "the holy oil." "They grabbed me and dragged me away." "There was an eerie silence," "everyone had disappeared." "Then a doctor came in," "and said:" ""The mother didn't make it."" "Those were his words." ""The baby's alive." "He just has a few problems."" "They'd pulled him out at the last minute, when a cesarean could no longer be done." "Paolo's mother was nineteen." "Who took care of him ?" "I didn't even want to see him." "I met him forthe first time three days ago." "What did he say ?" " That everything's fine." "What did you do ?" "Nothing." "His sleep is troubled, like my daughter's." "She's never still at night, she trembles." "We were getting along fine, why did he run away?" "Not even he knows that." "It'll never happen again," "I'll be more careful." "He'll get lost again." "When someone like Paolo gets lost in his darkness, all you can do is wait for his return." "What will he be like when he's grown ?" "Your son is lucky." "Did you see the others in the hospital, like Nadine ?" "Paolo is lucky because he still looks like a child." "All of us are moved before a child, smile at him, give caresses," "especially if he's ill." "Perhaps." "Even if it seems absurd, his illness will protect him from the others." "Prepare yourself for suffering if you intend to be close to him." " Can I ask you something ?" " Sure." "How can you be so serene ?" "It took time." "I began by thinking about just the little things, the everyday things:" "Nadine needs new pajamas, the toothpaste is running out," "Remember to put her favorite cookies in her milk..." "It's good to be a little superficial, it helps to survive." "When I see someone getting better and my daughter is suffering," "I'm even jealous and I'm not ashamed to admit it." "You'd better get back to Paolo." "Thank you." "For over twenty years, every single minute, my daughter has been my only thought." "As I wash her, as I caress her..." "Sometimes she looks at me with desperate eyes." "I say to myself:" ""Why doesn't she die ?"" "How are you ?" "Fine." "I counted one hundred trains." "Five trains." "A red one and a yellow one." "Nottrue, you slept and you even snored !" "Yes, you snored." "Do we have to go to the hospital ?" "It's over ?" "We won't go any more." "And we're leaving here too." "Want to ?" "Last night I played on the Playstation with Papa." "Who won ?" " Me." "You creamed him ?" "Good foryou." "Today I'll cream you too." "Show me how you'll cream me." "Do you need some cuddles ?" "Looking foraffection when you do this ?" "Stretch, like this." "Like waking up in the morning ?" "Really stretch, with both arms." "He fell off the bed !" "This time Alberto will beat up the two of us." "I'll defend you." "You'll get the worst of it." "There'll be hell to pay..." "Where are we going ?" "To a place you've seen, but never been." "What do you mean ?" "You've seen the moon ?" " Ever been there ?" "Yes." "On the moon ?" "No, you've seen it at night, in the sky !" "I saw it on TV." "Have you ever driven a Bugatti ?" "I've seen a picture of one." "I'm taking you to a place you've seen in pictures." "It begins with "N"." "I don't know." ""N" like No..." " Like Nor... ?" " North !" " Norwa... ?" " Norway !" "Like Kristine !" "Your hand." " I'm taking you to Kristine." "Are you happy?" "Yes, I'm glad." "I'm happy." "What are you looking at?" "The sea." "Beautiful, isn't it ?" "I'll put gel in my hair, good idea, right?" "My red t-shirt, orthe one written "nothing on it" ?" "Whichever you like." "Which one would Kristine like best?" "I don't know." "Then I'll wear them both." "My shoes are okay." "They cost a lot because of the insoles, they're not normal shoes, like other kids have." "They're really nice." "Very nice." "I can't take this." "Why not?" "The rubber is worn down." "I might slip in front of Kristine." "What a laugh she'll have !" "Know what we'll do ?" "Want to see ?" "Are you ready?" " Go !" "We'll throw it?" "Into the sea ?" "You're really nuts !" "Look." "You're nuts !" "What'll I do now ?" " I'll help you." "You'll buy me another one." "The diary." "The cake." "I'll close it, like always ?" "Why are they shooting ?" "They're playing." "For real or pretend ?" "It's a sport they do around here." "With a gun ?" "Yes, it's called biathlon." "Biathlon ?" "I'll go see when Kristine gets out." "What do we do now?" "Nothing." "Today's Sunday, the school's closed." "Right, it's a holiday." "We won't see Kristine any more ?" "She'll be here tomorrow, she has a test..." "Wantto come back tomorrow ?" "She always gets "A"s in the important subjects..." "She gets "A"s ?" "You should see how she writes, how she reads, how she does dictation..." "So we'll come back tomorrow ?" "Of course." "But we'll leave herthe cake." "Right here ?" "So when she comes she'll see iton the table." "Alright." "Let's go." "Wait." "Is itokay if we leave her half?" "Of the cake ?" "It's okay." "Will you eat half?" "Good !" "It's great !" "It's all over your..." "Careful, it's not good foryou." "It's notgood foryou." "It's not good for you !" "If they call back, tell them everything's okay." "Don't say where we are, say you haven't heard from me." "Who cares if they believe you or not." "They won't like it ifl call them." "It's best they think we're still in Berlin." "What happened ?" " I made a call." "Don't you have a cell phone ?" "When I get home I'll buy you one." " Thanks." " No problem..." "Come here," "I have something to ask you." "What ?" "Would you come live with me ?" "I'll have to think about it." "Yes !" "On the phone I was saying they need to get a room ready for you." "A big one though !" "So I can put my Game Boy, Playstation, my computer..." "Everything you want." " Posters..." " Everything." "Look." "That's me with a soccer ball." "I'm hitting it." "This is your brother, his name's Francesco." "He's very small..." "Yes." "He's really very small..." "He's so small..." "He can't walk yet." "Not even with a cane ?" " Then I'll help him." "You will ?" "I can walk, can't I ?" "You can walk very well." "I'll show him how to play soccer." "You will ?" "I'll take him to the pool, we'll do backstroke, freestyle..." "So you'll drive us there ?" "Of course." "For me though, you have to help me get dressed," "you have to wake me up early, orthey'll get peeved at school because I'm always late." "Don't worry." "At your house can I unlock the door with my own keys ?" "Yes." "I love you." "Can I drive ?" "Want to drive ?" "You can put your hand here, But very lightly, without moving up and down because it's dangerous." " lt might break." " No, we might crash the car." "No, without moving up and down." "Stop." "No, careful !" "It's dangerous." "Don't do that." "I told you not to do that." "Take your hand off, it's dangerous." "Get your hand off !" "Take your hand off." "I'll let you drive later." "I said to be careful !" "If you move this we could crash the car !" "Sorry." "Why are you behaving like this ?" "Is it late or early ?" "What do you mean ?" "It's late, I have to go home." "I have so many things to do," "I have to tidy the house, wash the floor, iron, do the shopping, play soccer..." "I have so many things to do, you can't even imagine." "Do you know the way ?" "Do you know where I live ?" "Via Persio, number 10." "My phone number is 7182402." "Write it down !" "Take paper and pen !" "Are you crying ?" "Don't cry." "Do I tell Alberto that my father is crying ?" "Don't cry, Your tears are coming out !" "If you don't cry I'll let you use the Playstation." "Don't cry." "You mustn't cry." "That's no way to behave." "I'm right here." "I'm here with you and you're crying ?" "You mustn't cry." "Alright." "That's no way to behave." "You're right, sorry." "Eh, sorry..." "That's no way to behave."