"_" "Dwayne:" "Nothing to panic about." "Fortunately, I was a member of the East Peck Police Department for over half a week, so I'm well-equipped to deal with emergency situations." "Officer down!" "Put your hands where I can see them!" "It's okay!" "My name is former officer Dwayne Reed, and I was here investigating Detective Hiss in connection to the murder of Margaret Anderson." "When I arrived on the scene, I found him on the floor, so per police protocol, I called 911." " Did you contaminate the crime scene?" " Negative." "Though I did move the body to retrieve a soda pop from the fridge to settle my stomach after I vomited when I touched his stun gun." "I got your message." "Are you okay?" "Ma'am, this is an active crime scene." "Oh, it's okay." "I work in an office." "Where's Rutger's firearm?" "For safety, I removed Detective Hiss' weapon and placed it in my back pocket." "Per police protocol, I will now remove the weapon, make sure it is unloaded, and place it on the counter." " [Gunshot]" " Oh [bleep] a duck!" "Per police protocol, I will now confirm no one was shot." "You good?" "You good?" "You good?" "Josh:" "So, the lead detective, who was having an affair with Margaret Henderson, is in a coma and can no longer testify." "Our sole focus now is getting his tainted evidence thrown out." "Needless to say, my team should avoid any unnecessary distractions." "And yet I keep needing to say it." "[Reporters shouting indistinctly]" "Mr. Henderson, how does it feel to know that your wife was having an affair before you killed her?" "Uh, not good, that's for sure." "No more questions." "My client is innocent." "This whole trial is a witch hunt." "No, no, the witch hunt's on November 4th." "[Shouting continues]" "You heard my lawyer." "No more questions!" "Crystal:" "Larry, why are you such a beautiful soul?" "I heard someone in the back." "I'm such a fan of your work." "I was wondering if you would sign my book." "I mean, your book." "Well, our book." "Oh, of course, I will." "Um, Dad, hey, hey, she seems a little crazy." " Crazy about poetry." " Yes." ""To a ray of light in this dark, dark world."" "Thank you." "I'm happy that my work has touched you." "It has." "Yes. [Whispers] Everywhere." "Okay, we're done here." " I love you." " Nice girl." "[Shouting continues]" "Josh:" "Your Honor, in light of the revelation that Rutger Hiss was having an affair with Margaret Henderson at the time of her death, the defense would like to make a motion that any evidence collected by Detective Hiss is tainted and should be thrown out." "Your Honor, I'd like the record to show that Mr. Segal cannot be serious." "Josh:" "The record should not show that." "I was hoping not to have to mention that Margaret Henderson was not the only person in this case to be having an inappropriate relationship with Detective Hiss." "It was not a relationship." "It was one dirty grind at a barn dance." "Oh, no." "Not you, Your Honor." "But wow." "Her." "Detective Hiss and I were intimate, and the revelation that he was unfaithful with Margaret Henderson was hurtful to both me and his wife." "But I'm a professional, and I can assure you this information will not change that." "I will not stand for these personal attacks, especially from an outsider who thinks he's too good to eat the food here in East Peck and has his own cuisine shipped in from New York City." "That is ridiculous." "Carol Anne:" "Oh, do you deny being seen around town with a Zabar's bag, eating bagels and whitefish and homos." "It's pronounced "hummus."" "And I only ship in food because the mushy rings of white bread that they call bagels down here are a joke." "[Spectators murmuring]" " Man:" "Witch!" " [Gavel banging]" "Order!" "Mr. Segal, where are you going with this?" "Beyond Rutger Hiss' tainted testimony, the prosecution has nothing." " This case is over." " Yes!" "Thank you!" "Josh, finally!" "[Chuckles] Oh, what a nightmare." "Larry, no." "If the defense believes that all we have is Detective Hiss' testimony, then he clearly hasn't seen the coroner's report on Margaret Henderson." "No." "I haven't seen the coroner's report." "I didn't know there was a coroner's report." "I have been asking for it for weeks." "Our coroner is only accustomed to listing two causes of death here in East Peck... obesity and emphysema." "So he did not have a murder stamp, but he does now." "As you'll see, the lacerations on the scalp indicate Margaret was attacked with a weapon before she went through that window." "Her death was a deliberate act of violence." "My team will need time to review this report." "What did Larry do to that poor woman?" "Anne:" "Look at her head!" "Your Honor, there's no way the prosecution can connect these lacerations to my client." "I beg to differ." "In fact, we believe the markings were made by these." "Let the record show this is Mr. Henderson with his walking sticks." "One of which was found in the Henderson home, the other has gone suspiciously missing." "Perhaps your client would like to answer as to its whereabouts." " Objection." " Overruled." "I got this." "Your accusation is laughable." "Those are not walking sticks, they are titanium trekking poles." "And as for the missing one, I lost it... around the time that Margaret died." "Your Honor, the prosecution can't keep springing new evidence on us without us having a chance to review it." " Oh, interesting." " She's doing it again!" "Josh." "Carol Anne:" "Your Honor, this is a medical report from the East Peck County Hospital." "It appears Rutger Hiss has suffered a very similar head wound... similar to the one Larry inflicted on Margaret." "Speculation all over the place." "There's no shortage of people in this town who harbor a grudge against Mr. Hiss." "True." "I-I've had many dreams where I killed him." "And one where we kissed." "Your Honor, I demand that the prosecution either charge my client with another crime he didn't commit or put a stop to this nonsense." "I thought it was clear I was being rhetorical." "I got it." "Hi, Larry." "Hi, Josh." "How are you doing?" "Oh, I don't know." "I consider myself to be a positive person, but this constantly getting arrested for violent crimes is starting to really bum me out." "Me too." "I was really hoping to just focus on one case, but, apparently, I'm now working on two." "Next thing you know, they're gonna bring up that hit-and-run I got away with last year." "I didn't hear that." "That hit-and-run that I got away with last year." "No one died." "I-I was driving with my skates on." "Ugh, no, I can't hear that." "Let's work on our timeline." "The police are estimating that Rutger was attacked around 5:00 a.m." "So we need to account for your whereabouts between midnight and 5:00." "Well, I was at home in bed until around 2:00, but I couldn't sleep." "So I made some ginger tea." "Fresh, of course, not that [bleep] they serve at the diner." "Whoa, Larry." "I'm sorry... prison language." "Anyway, I was so upset about the tulips they planted on Margaret's grave, so I put on my skates and went to the 24-hour hardware store to get gardening supplies." "Fantastic." "I'm sure they have security video." "_" "_" "_" "_" "I'm sure someone will try to spin that to make me look bad." "_" "[Sighs] Could anyone have seen you after that?" "Well, I suppose so." "People don't miss much around here." "I still can't believe I got away with that hit-and-run." "Ugh, God, please!" "Okay, so my next job is finding witnesses to corroborate your alibi." " And then I'll be free?" " Yeah." "Well... free to stand trial for murdering Margaret." "Oh." "We also need to find that trekking pole." "If we don't, the prosecutor is going to claim that you got rid of it after you used it to kill Margaret." "Any idea where it could be?" "Maybe you should look up the prosecutor's [bleep]" "I'm sorry." "This place is turning me into an animal!" "Josh:" "Okay, we have to clear Larry of these Rutger charges so we can get back to clearing him of the Margaret charges." "Here's the gap in our timeline." "We have Larry at the hardware store at 4:37." "We have Rutger attacked at about 5:00." "That means that for Larry to do it, he would have to get from the hardware store, down and around the courthouse, down and through the cemetery, past the elementary school... and the neighboring psychiatric hospital," "all the way down to Rutger's house in less than half an hour... on roller skates." "Now, does anyone really believe he could do that?" " Oh, he can do anything." " I do." "Larry is the best!" "You guys, he's trying to prove my dad couldn't do it." " He's not Batman." " Oh, he... he sucks at stuff." "He probably crashed and burned." "So I'm gonna get a pair of skates and retrace that route, see how long it takes me." "Not to brag, but I'm a pretty good skater." "Now, I need the three of you to find that trekking pole." "Oh, I searched the house all morning." " It is not there." " Damn it." "You're barking up the wrong tree with that stick." "You find a bear or a lion in that house... you've found your killer." "Thank you, Dave." "We are going to keep that one in mind." "But right now, let's just keep focusing on that stick." "You know, following Dave's line of thought..." "Must we?" "...there was somebody in Larry's house who might have seen what happened to that missing stick." " His dog." " Hmm." "So we're gonna ask the dog?" " Of course not." " Okay." "We'll go to a pet psychic." "Oh, come on, Anne." " That is insane." " Thank you, Dwayne." "We will never get an appointment this time of year." "You know that." "There's only four of them, and it's the busy season." "Okay, so East Peck has zero dry-cleaners, zero bookstores, one ATM, four pet psychics?" "We got a bookstore... on aisle five of the supermarket." "Those are greeting cards." "[Sighs]" "Okay." " Come on." " [Laughs]" "You're almost there." "Yeah, okay." "There we go." "[Grunts] All right!" "Yes." " One hour, 22 minutes." " Great." "That proves Larry couldn't have gotten here." "No, that proves that you're in worse shape" " than a 65-year-old man." " Oh." "Well, for the last two miles, your butt crack was showing." "I was trying to get you to go faster." "Okay, no problem." "We'll come up with another idea." "You want to find out what a real bagel tastes like?" "Ah, you are really taking to country life, aren't you?" "I actually think I'm doing pretty well." "Yeah." " Ah." "Whoa." " [Owl hooting]" "You see that giant pigeon?" "Uh, it's an owl, but, yes." "Well, look like two feet below it, it's a security camera." "Oh, my God." "Summer, this is huge." "I will get a court order to get the tape, and then we can prove that your dad was never here." "Okay." "You're getting pretty good at this, Yankee." "Yeah, thank you." "Are you sure you don't want a bite of..." "[Screeches]" " Oh!" " Oh, God!" "What the [bleep] [bleep] [bleep]" "[Laughs]" "That was an onion bagel with whitefish!" "This surveillance tape should prove my client was not at Detective Hiss' house." "Your Honor, how do we know the defense didn't tamper with the tapes?" "Because the defense didn't have them." "We're all seeing them for the first time." "My God, this is boring." " You can actually go faster." " Thank you, Counselor." "This is the first time I've ever watched anything on a screen." "Wait." "Somebody's there." "Look." "You want to show me how to pause?" "I get it." "I'm sorry." "No, seriously, how do you pause?" "Oh, uh, space bar." "That's Larry breaking into the house." "No." "Time code says 4:00 a.m., and I can prove that my client was at the hardware store." " Well, who is that?" " That's not my problem." "Oh, I think it might be." "Oh [bleep]" "Things you should be doing at this stage of a murder trial... analyzing evidence..." "interviewing witnesses, working on your opening statement." "Things you shouldn't be doing... trying to get your lead detective out of jail." "Dwayne, I have to say, your behavior is inexplicable." "I can explick it." "After I left the bar that night, I really had to urinate, so I thought I'd give Rutger the old EPPD pee pee, you know." " I don't." " It's this old East Peck PD thing where you pee in a guy's gas tank." "But when I got there, I couldn't find his truck anywhere." "And, unfortunately, I was past the point of no return, so I snuck into his house to use the facilities." "Why didn't you just use the bushes?" "Public urination is a misdemeanor." "[Chuckles] And this guy's a lawyer." "Okay, but now you've been arrested for attempted murder, which is a felony." "That's why he's a lawyer." "I swear I left as soon as I did my business." "I didn't see Rutger at all." "Next time I saw him, he was in a coma." "You know, I came down here to defend Larry on murder charges." "I can't keep getting pulled into these sideshows." "Especially by members of my own team." "I don't mean to criticize, but if you think about it, me getting arrested is actually what helped get Larry off in the Rutger case." "So I'm kind of doing your job for you." "Ahh." "Freedom!" "Smells like... ..empanadas?" "Did I leave the oven on when I went to jail again?" "Oh, good, you're home!" "How did you get in here?" "The window was open." "Oh, my gosh." "Are you mad?" "You're mad." "You're mad that I broke into your house and that I'm wearing your apron, and you hate empanadas." "No, I love empanadas." "I don't love that you used a metal spatula on a non-stick pan." "I'm sorry." "I was just so moved by your poetry, and I was wondering if it was too much to ask for you to read a poem to me." " I could be convinced." " Yay!" "Wait." "Can we do it a little bit closer to the murder window?" "There's no way you could know, but I don't really call it that." "Oh, I'm sorry." "The Margaret hole?" " Better, still not great." " Oh, that's okay." "We'll just figure out what to call it once we get married." "Okay, one poem, then you should leave." "And then you'll throw me out the Margaret hole?" "You should leave now." "Okay." "Josh:" "According to Rutger Hiss' doctor, there's no hemorrhaging, no skull fracture, no evidence the bruising was caused by anything but his fall." "So the defense is claiming Detective Hiss just magically fell into a coma?" "Rutger Hiss had a severe allergic reaction" " to parvalbumin." " Objection, Your Honor." "Nobody knows what the defense is talking about." "Man:" "Witch!" "Can we have that person removed?" "Where are you going with this, Counselor?" "Parvalbumin is a protein naturally found in certain seafoods, such as sturgeon, whitefish." " So you're saying he was poisoned." " No." "Poisoned by whitefish, as one might find in a Zabar's bag?" "Okay, wow." "No, that's a reach." "You're not serious." "She's not serious." "Summer:" "Okay, if we're gonna get Josh out of jail, we have to think like Josh." "What would Josh do?" "Well... he'd listen to our ideas, and then he'd throw his hands in the air and sigh and..." "Then he'd use the whiteboard." " Definitely." " Our first lead." " Let's start there." " Here's what we know." "Rutger ate Josh's whitefish." "Wait." "That squiggle is the fish?" "Put waves up above so we know it's underwater." "Oh, good idea." "Okay, none of this matters because the fish wasn't underwater when he ate it." "It's hard being a lawyer." "Wait." "What's that on Rutger's chest?" "Well, that's a police-issued body cam." "They issue one to every officer who's had multiple misconduct violations." "They call it the Rutger Rule." "So if that camera was on, then we could just retrace his steps." "I imagine he's not taking many steps right now." "I mean, he's in a coma." "[Chuckles] Try and keep up." "Honestly, I do not know how Josh deals with these idiots." "Don't you think the handcuffs are a bit much?" "They can be... if you're not used to them." "You know I didn't poison Rutger." "What do you want?" "I want to be D.A." "And for that, I need Larry Henderson to fry." "You walk away from his case, and I will get you out of this cell." "I'm not going to do that." "Either way, one of you is gonna die." "You realize... the cameras are recording all of this." "Either way... one of them is gonna die." "[Buzzer]" "You have another visitor." "I heard you poisoned a cop." "Officer, we're done here." "All right, here it is..." "Rutger's body-camera footage." "I've cued it up to the good part." "I think you will find it studdedly intriguing." "Six pack. [Grunts]" "Mm." "I guess Margaret has a type." "So does Anne." "Dwayne:" "Here he is entering the tavern." "[Fast-forwarding]" "That's my girl, you son of a bitch." "This is where it gets really interesting." "Look what he does to Josh's car." "Look at this." "Yankee, you're about to get the old EPPD pee pee." "Ew." "Electric?" "Nerd." "You think that was good, watch this!" "Who said that was good?" "What the hell is that?" " Mmm." " [Bag crinkles]" "That's Josh's whitefish sandwich." "Mmm." "Oh!" "This egg salad's gone bad." "All:" "Oh, we got it!" "Reed, one, Hiss, eight." "This egg salad's gone bad." "Judge Horsedich:" "I've seen enough." "Miss Keane, I suggest you stick to the case you've got and stop bringing frivolous charges into this courtroom." " Yes, Your Honor." " Furthermore..." "I'm ruling that all evidence collected by Rutger Hiss pertaining to the death of Margaret Henderson is tainted, and, thus, is thrown out." "Mr. Segal, you are free to go." "Miss Keane, I'll meet you at the barn dance." " [Gavel bangs]" " Josh!" "Oh, it's so great that we're free again!" "Let's get out of this town and never come back!" "Larry, you're still very much on trial for murder." "Oh, shoot." "Well... it's nice to forget about it for a while." "Hmm." "Hey, Carol Anne Keane, tough loss today." "Oh, this is far from over." "When I find that walking stick he used to kill his wife, he's gonna fry, and I'm gonna make sure you have a front-row seat." "Larry:" "I raise my mimosa... to Josh, our faithful leader." "No." "To Dwayne." "He got me out of jail." "Oh, hell, I couldn't have done it without Larry." "It was Summer... who really held us together." "It's always Summer." " [Voice breaking] Dad." " And, Anne... ..how you doing?" "Anne:" "Oh, my gosh." "I feel awful." "I didn't get to go to prison... or get anybody out of prison." "For the first time since this case started," "I feel like I'm not contributing." "So I decided it's time to go big or go home." "I pick big." "But I have to go home to get her." " Guys." " Summer:" "Hey, Anne." "This is Madame Rhonda..." "East Peck's third-most popular pet psychic." "If we're being precise, I'm actually a pet parapsychologist." "Pet psychics are frauds." "We got lucky." "She had an opening when her last client got eaten by a snake." "If Larry's dog knows anything about the murder, he'll tell her." "Am I the only one that's freaking the [bleep] out right now?" "There she is." "It's a he." "Oh, of course he is." "How are you," " Rex..." " Shakespeare." "...speare." "Shakespeare has a story to tell." "Don't you, girl?" " Boy." " Boy." "Will you look at this?" "It's working." "Look at that!" "Talk to me, Shakespeare." "I love to dig." "I love to dig." " I love to dig." " Man, she loves to dig." "No, she's channeling Shakespeare." "I love to dig." "Josh:" "Okay, guys, this is... this is..." "[Gasps] The murder stick!" "Well, would you look at that?"