"Leon St. James for Anaconda Malt Liquor." "With the delectable combination of the finest barleys and hops it's the only malt liquor that carries the seal of excellence from Uncle Sam himself." "And when you pop the top, the panties drop." "Is that Anaconda Malt Liquor?" "The only malt liquor to be approved by the United States government?" "That's right." "Anaconda Malt Liquor." "Anaconda Malt Liquor, brewed in Piedmont, Georgia." "Gentlemen, every one of you are the most respected men in your region." "Doing business with me, you'll find you'll be protected and you will be supplied with as much as you can distribute." "However, one of us here is not who he appears to be." "Come on, you jive turkeys." "What kind of rundown is this?" "Look, man I gotta get back to the streets where I come from, Sucker." "Hold it." "I told you jive chumps, I ain't no snitch." "Who said you were?" "He's dead." "My God, men." "Do you know what this means?" "Do you know whose brother...?" "This ghetto is gonna be turned upside-down, I tell you, upside-down." "The streets are gonna run crimson with the blood of the men responsible for his brother's death." "Man I am speaking of is a veritable one-man army." "And if you get on his bad side, brother, you're done for." "It's only a matter of time before he finds out and when he does, no matter where he is get ready, gentlemen." "Because hell's a-coming." "Coming, coming, coming." "Black Dynamite, that was the best loving I ever had." "Me too." "That goes triple for me." "Mama, you're gonna wake up the rest of the bitches." "I wanna tell you a story about a friend I've had." "He's a mean motherfucker and he's super bad." "So grab on to your seats and hang on tight  while I tell you a story about Black Dynamite." "Yeah?" "Dynamite,baby, Nipsy still ain't paid up." "Solid." "I'm on it, Bee." "Who's there?" "I'm looking for Nipsy." "There's no Nipsy here." "Now, I'm gonna ask you one more time." "Where's Nipsy?" "Here I am, sucker." "Honeybee, what's happening, baby?" "Black Dynamite." "What did you do to Nipsy?" "Now, word on the street is that he's gonna be in traction." "You know me." "Just talked to him." "Thank you, Black Dynamite." "I'm so happy." "Hey, they mess with you, Mama, they're messing wth me." "Black Dynamite, I wanna thank you for taking care of us girls while we was down and out and didn't have no pimp." "Oh, I almost forgot." "Ain't nobody seen Pimpin' Jake for two days and he ain't been by here with your money." " And..." " I knew I forgot something." "Tiny." "Get Pimpin' Jake out of my trunk." "Tell him the rest by Wednesday or I'll make him stick himself." "I'm sorry." "Go on, Bee." "They replaced the chain on your nunchucks and oiled the bearings." "They're sitting there on your desk, next to the dry cleaning." "All right." "What's wrong, Honeybee?" "I've known you too long." "Now, if something's bothering you, why don't you lay it on me?" "Black Dynamite." "I got to go to the hospital." "It's my little nephew, Bucky." "He OD'd." "Where is Bucky and what has he had?" "It's that new drug on the street." "All the kids are falling prey to it." "What we gonna do, Black Dynamite?" "I know what I'm gonna do." "I'm gonna fight." "The only way I know how." "Ever since I was a boy, all I knew was how to fight." "Fight, fight, fight." "And when I got tired, I would fight some more." "And now that the Man has got our backs to the wall I ain't gonna let him hurt the kids." "I'm gonna take him down." "I'm gonna take them all down." "Who the hell is interrupting my kung fu?" " Who the hell is this?" " Black Dynamite, it's your Aunt Billy." "How many times I told you not to call here and interrupt my kung fu?" "It's bad news, Dynamite." "It's your only brother, Jimmy." "He's dead, Dynamite." "Jimmy's dead." "Scram." "I said split." "Shake the scene, you turkeys." "Get out of my house." "I'll see you all tomorrow." "How did it happen, Aunt Billy?" "They found him shot full of holes in an old shipping yard." "Dead as a dog." "Said he had drugs on him." "I guess he was still on that stuff." "Now, I thought you promised your mama on her deathbed you was gonna get him off that stuff, Black Dynamite." "Whoever did this is gonna pay." "I can promise you that." "Well, I hope it ain't like when you promised your mama you was gonna get him off of that stuff for the rest of his natural life" "Black Dynamite, I want you to promise me that you'll look after your brother and make sure he doesn't end up on drugs or dead." "I promise." "Jimmy, I am 18-year-old Black Dynamite and you are my 16-year-old kid brother and you are high as a kite yet again." "Who gave you the drugs, Jimmy?" "Who?" "Your mama would turn over in her grave if she were here to see this." "She loved Jimmy with all her heart." "You promised your mama on her deathbed that you would look after Jimmy." "Now he's dead." "I scoured the crime scene like you told me to." "Dig what I found." "Now, this is some heavy shit." "Freeze, turkeys." "I see you haven't lost your touch, B.D." "O'Leary?" "The old "pie on the windowsill" trick." "I can't believe I fell for that." "That was the same trap you used in Nam to save my ass." "B.D. took our fatigues and put them on two dead gooks." "I remember we circled back and turned the tables." "I guess you forgot about the time you and Bravo company left my black ass for dead, huh?" "But I remember." "I remember everything." "I remember Vietnam like it was yesterday." "I rememberthat village in Tainan that we cut down." "It was a massacre." "All the dead Chinamen we left in our tracks." "I remember the faces, the children." "This one child I'll never forget." "Poor little bastard was still alive." "His little Chinese legs were blown clean off." "Still see his little shins and feet hanging from the ceiling fan across the hut." "He was charred from his head down to his little Chinese knees." "He tried to get up but he fell over when what was left of his right leg broke off." "As he laid there flat on his face he looked up at me." "His little Chinese eyes burned right into my stomach  deep into my soul." "He said something to me in Chinese, like:" "Sounds like some cartoon shit but I understood it to be a question that he was asking me." "And I don't have to know how to speak Chinese to know what that question was." ""Why, Black Dynamite?" "Why?"" "We're a long way from Nam." "Look at this place." "It must have an eight-track player in every room." "What's going on today is a smack problem of epic proportion." "Corruption is running rampant and we don't know who to trust." "We need you, Black Dynamite, now more than ever." "I know I was the best CIA agent that the CIA ever had but I thought I told you honkies from the CIA that Black Dynamite was out of the game." " You're never out of the game." " I've known you for a long time." "And there's something that you're not telling me." "Okay." "We heard about your brother's death." "The last thing we need is you running through the streets creating a river of blood." "Tell me who did it and I'll just leave a puddle." "We don't know who killed Jimmy." "But I do know this." "You step out of line, friendship or not, and I'm gonna take you down." "In case you forgot, when you left the agency you relinquished your license to kill." "Well, you do what you have to." "Just don't get in my way." "Come on, give it up to Afroditey and the Moonchild." "Give them a nice round of applause, big round of applause, yeah." "Black Dynamite, you came to see me." "Bitch, no, I gotta go rap a taste with my man Horn but afterwards since I'm here, maybe I'll throw you one right quick." "Out of sight." "I get off in 15 minutes." "You're right about that, sugar." "You're right about that." "Bullhorn, can I get you anything?" "Yes." "I would like some of that ass." "Yes, yes, yes." "Man, who dare knock when I'm planning to plant my--?" "Main man Black Dynamite." "What it is, Bullhorn?" "What you want to eat, man?" "Sister Betty made some hog maws and, man, she put her ankle in it." "I ain't here for no food, Horn." "Oh, man." "I can dig it." "Sugar, give us a minute." "You know, man I'm really sorry to hear about what happened to Jimmy." "You know, me and you been tight for a long time." " So you know if you need anything..." " Thanks, Horn." "I need to know about the kind of cats that Jimmy was running with." "You know, he came around here about a week ago with some cats that I had never seen before." "Man, I mean, these cats looked mean." "Meaner than two fat motherfuckers wrestling over pork chops and greens." "Can you dig it?" "Yeah." "I can dig it." "That little old half-a-player, Cream Corn, was with them." "You remember Cream Corn." "So where is Cream Corn these days?" "Yep, that's right." "I'm running things." "Cream Corn." "That's why they call me that." "Smooth." "I got my measure for your pleasure." "Stick with me, baby, I'll have you farting through silk." "And let a nigga mess with me." "I'll jump on him, all 93 pounds of pure dynamite" "Let me catch my breath, Black Dynamite." "Shut up, sucker." "I need answers." "I wanna know who the cats were that Jimmy was hanging with." "Man, I don't know nothing but nothing." "Okay, all right, all right." "Their leader's name is Chicago Wind." "They hang out at a place called the Hip Pocket on Crenshaw." "Now, get me up." "So you must be Black Dynamite." "Cream Corn, you jive mother." "Chicago Wind, I presume." "Your presumption is correct, nigga." "If you presume that I killed your brother then you presume wrong." "Not that it means shit to me." "Either way, shit." "I wish I'd have killed that nigga myself." "Somebody else beat me to it." "Is that so?" "Well, Mr. Chicago Wind what do you know about this?" "Some heavy shit." "But dig." "Let me explain something to you, supernigga." "I don't answer questions." "I ask them." "Even if I did know who killed that brother of yours what would make you think I'm gonna tell you?" "Get your black ass out of my joint before we beat you like a rented mule." "That's right, you jive-ass punk." "Don't be coming to the Hip Pocket talking that shit, you dig?" "That's right, nigga." "Don't ever, ever come ba" "Go catch Chicago Wind before he disappears." "I'll take care of this gorilla-eating goon here." "Oh, you's a corn-fed fool with a lot of muscle mass." "But it's time for Bullhorn to get up in that ass." "Motherfucker." "Let everybody know and suckers be warned that this is the outcome when you mess with Bullhorn." "Try to catch me now, sucker." "Motherfucker." "Now you know why they call me Chicago Wind, fool." "Because I left your ass blowing in the breeze." "Man, don't you ever, ever..." "That black son of a bitch, he killed my best dealer." "I want Black Dynamite dead, and want him dead now." "Before you support any of these candidates find out if they're going to rid our communities of the hustlers and pushers." "Or are they gonna destroy all the programs that help our children and give their corporate friends free reign to exploit our community like Congressman James." "Watch me turn this shit around." "Power to the people." "With all due respect to the young sister here you all know me." "Yes." "Now, young lady these fine folks don't need to be misled." "All they want is a little bit of bread." "And you can't just stick it to the Man." "You also got to have yourself a plan." "Now, we got to take this from the jukebox to the ballot box." "We got to go from the poor house to the White House." "Instead of maligning me let's take this land from sea to shining sea." "Keep the faith, brothers and sisters." "Say, Mama, you're gonna have to work on your delivery if you wanna take on Congressman James." "The shame is, half these people don't know what y'all talking about but at least they can put his to a beat." "So, what do you do to make a difference?" "Do you march?" "Do you vote?" "Oh, let me guess." "You're one of Tom Slick brothers think you can get by on good looks, a wink and a smile, huh?" "I don't know about Tom Slick." "But thank you for the compliments." "That's not what meant." "Not that I think that you have good look" "I mean, you know these guys with their" " Winks and smiles." " Yeah." "What about the smile?" "I am smiling." "Right on, right on." "Excuse me, brothers." "The militants turn, startled." "This is private." "How'd you get in here?" "I walked in." "So you one of them sneaky brothers, huh?" "Or maybe you an undercover pig." "Or maybe you just a federal hit man." "If I was, you cats would already be dead." "Now, let me speak to the man in charge." "Sarcastically, I'm in charge." "Right on." "If you were in charge the people might as well surrender to whitey right now because your survival skills ain't worth a damn." "Black Dynamite." "It has been a long time, my brother." "What it is, Saheed?" "You know this Uncle Tom?" "Listen, sucker." "I'm blacker than the ace of spades and more militant than you and your whole damn army put together." "And while you're out there chanting at rallies and browbeating politicians I'm taking out any money front sucker on a humble that gets in my way." "So I'll tell you what." "When your so-called revolution starts, you call me and I'll be right down front showing you how it's done but until then, you need to shut the fuck up when grown folks is talking." "I'm sorry." "Yeah, we heard about what went down at the Hip Pocket." "That was righteous." "That was personal, brother." "Personal or not, you saved a lot of brothers and sisters." "You need our help, we're here." "I can dig it." "What can you tell me about this?" "Yeah." "I ain't seen one of these in a while." "I was gonna fuck him up." "There it is." "AR-48." "I wish we could get some shit like this." "That round will go through a bulletproof vest like it was a pillow." "Any idea who would have it?" "Whoever it is, he must work for the Man because that right there is strictly government issue." "You mind telling me how this was found at the scene of my brother's death?" "Okay, Black Dynamite." "Want me to level with you?" "Your brother Jimmy wasn't a two-bit drug dealer." " He was one of us." " What?" "He was working undercover." "And he wanted to be just like you." "Jimmy, why didn't you tell me?" "Vincent Rafelli." "Don of the Carbozi family." "Heads up a shipping company." "We believe he's distributing dope." "Jimmy felt that the don and Congressman James had something up their sleeve." "He didn't quite know what it was." "He died trying to find out." "So I don't need to tell you the importance of this mission." "But I just have one question." "Are you in or are you out?" "Because God knows you're the only one we can trust." "I'm in." "Good." "I had a feeling you were gonna say that." "Hope you don't mind." "I took the liberty of reinstating your license to kill." "You're gonna need this." "Black Dynamite's looking for us." "You said you would handle it." "I'm bringing in the heavy hitters now." "Somebody broke into my dead brother Jimmy's apartment." "Breathe deeply, baby." "Daddy, you make my heart beat." "Yeah, Dr. Dynamite can hear that." "But I think you're running a temperature." "Let me see if I can find a thermometer for you." "What the--?" "I told you urine sample, Nurse Jenny." "Black Dynamite." "I mean, really." "You sent her in here with them titties." "What did you expect?" "How's my x-ray?" "Well, no fragments." "In and out." "You're lucky, Black Dynamite." "Three nches to the left and we wouldn't even be having this conversation." "Three inches to the right, it would've missed my black ass." "Well, you need a new line of work." "This is the second time this year." "I know, I know." "Why do I bother?" "There's no helping you." "No, doc, you help me just fine." "See you next time." "You hang in there, Leon." "You hear me?" "Hey, Mama, what's going down?" "That your kid in there?" "No." "Nephew?" "Cousin?" "I said no." "No relation, he..." "He happens to be one of the kids at the orphanage where I work." "He overdosed on smack." "Third one this month." "And why?" "What does it matter to you anyway?" "Whoa, Mama, just trying to help." "Oh, I don't need your kind of help." "Men like you only help when there's something in it for them." "They can't be bothered." "Too busy chasing their chicks and their bread and their fancy car." "No, Mr. Black Dynamite." "The only help you know is how to help yourself." "Whoa, Mama, it ain't about me." "It's about that kid in there." "Now do you really want help or are you just trying to prove to the world you can do it all on your own?" "Mama always said:" ""A helping hand is a helping hand, clean or dirty."" "Guess my hands ain't clean enough for you." "Wait." "These politicians don't give a damn." "I mean, look, look at these ads." "Congressman James made promises to the people." "Then he took away his drug-awareness programs and allowed his bedfellows to sell crap to the kids." "He even invested in these products." "Now the dope is everywhere." "It's even" "It's even in the orphanage." "Not the orphanage." "I used to be an orphan." "You ain't got no mommy and you ain't got no daddy." "You're an orphan." "Orphan, orphan, orphan." "No, not the orphans." "I think I need to show you something." "We've been trying to reach these children." "But this new smack on the street is proving too much of a match for us." "The worst thing about these pushers getting these children addicted to this new smack is that these children are orphans, and orphans don't have parents." "Ain't nothing in the world get Black Dynamite more mad than some jive-ass sucker dealing smack to the kids." "Bobby, stop it." "You'll kick soon." "You dealing, brother?" "I need my smack, I need it now." "Put a few of these honeys on the street and I'll get you your bread, partner." "I refuse to let this happen to you, little man." "I will shake this poisonous shit out of your smacked-up body if I have to." "Black Dynamite, stop." "We've tried that, nothing works." "I can't look at these kids no more." "This orphanage used to be alive with laughter, kids playing." "Now look at it, it's sickening." "Whoever's responsible is gonna pay, if it's the last thing I do." "Black Dynamite, I wish it was that simple." "But this is much bigger than you and me." "Hey, Little Mama." "It may be bigger than you and it may be bigger than me." "But it ain't bigger than you and me." "Can you dig it?" "I think so." "I gotta split." "You need me to drop you off somewhere?" "No, I think I'm gonna go down the street and grab a bite." "I'll drive you." "Thanks for the ride." "Can I get some hot sauce for my donut?" "Excuse me, lady." " Oh, my God." " What is it?" "What is going on?" "How did you know?" "Donuts don't wear alligator shoes." "Damn." "Sorry, Roscoe." "It's cool, man." "Chili and donuts ain't working out for me no how." "Maybe it's time for a change." "What have you gotten me into?" "It wasn't me they were after, sugar." "You must have pissed off some people in some pretty high places." "I'm gonna take you somewhere you'll be safe." "Black Dynamite, you ain't got to worry about Gloria." "She gonna be safe up in here." "I been keeping the girls up on their kung fu like you told me to." "Now, they find her up in here, we will fricassee they honky asses." "You sure about this?" "Maybe we should call the police." "No, Mama." "You can bet your sweet ass and half a titty whoever put that hit on you, already got the cops in their back pocket." "You be cool, Mama." "Bee here will keep you tight and out of sight." "I'm gonna shake the tree from the roots and rake up the fruits rip it up out the ground, find out what's going down." "Don't worry about tomorrow, Mama, because tonight" "Dynamite's gonna make everything all right." "Euphoria." "Shut up." "I know that was you." "I ain't even gotta look." "I should send you to Crenshaw Pete with his hot-ass coat hangers." "Would you like that?" "Black Dynamite, I know that we just met but somehow I feel that I can trust you." "I'll be here waiting till you come to get me." "Thank you for saving my life." "You be cool, Little Mama." "I'll be back before too long." "Order, order, order." "Order, nigga." "The game is at an all-time low." "Never in the history of the game has there been such devastation." " That's right." " Yeah." "Tricks running low, cops pushing harder than ever." " Yeah." " That's right." "These little bitches just running wild." "I thought we had these poop-butt pigs paid off." " Come to find out." " Yeah." "They trapping my ho's every time they hit the track." "I'm spending more bail money than I'm getting tail money." "Yeah." "Yeah." "I can dig it, Chocolate, I can dig it." "Come on, this has been my worst physical year ever." "Fiscal, nigga." "With a F. Fiscal." "Well, it's been the worst one ever." "I can't even afford to get my hair fixed." "Sounds like you're assed out." "You know what they say." "The bitch won't sell her ass." " A pimp will." " Will." "Shut up, Tasty." "I turned you onto the game when you nothing but a little jailhouse tramp." "Now, listen up." "Pimping has been around since the world started turning." "And it's going to keep right on turning right along with it until this little planet rotates off its axis as a result of its core overheating and explodes into cosmic dust." "Damn." " Can you dig it?" " It's done, brother." "You know what I'm saying?" "Now look here." "These times, they come and they go." " Right." " And if you live long enough you'll be around to see them come again." "But what we need to do is we need to collectivize." " Yeah." " Right on, right on." "Now, look here." "Listen." "Stop all the bullshit and take a vote." "Yes, O." "All in favor, raise your hand." "Kotex?" " Mo Bitches?" " I can dig it, baby." "Chocolate Giddy-Up?" "Chocolate Giddy-Up." "Crenshaw Pete?" "Captain Kangaroo Pimp?" " Willie?" " I'm with you." "Nigga, even if they don't knock the broads there ain't enough tricks to go around." "Now, look here." "I don't know about the rest of y'all." "But it looks ike I have to keep selling heroin just to make ends meet." "Then you'll have a much bigger problem." "Black Dynamite." "What's happening, baby?" "What it is, Big O?" "To what do we owe this pleasure?" "I just got one thing to lay on you cats and then I'll split." "That I'm declaring war on anybody who sells drugs in our community." "But, Black Dynamite, I sell drugs to the community." "Well, be that as it may, if I catch you I will not consider you a brother or friend." "Now, can you dig it?" "Hell no, nigga." "I can't dig it." " Now who you supposed to be?" " That's Black Dynamite." "I ain't ask you, nigga." "Shut up." "I'm gonna tell you like this." "I'm gonna do whatever I wanna do." " Yeah." " Well, the choice is yours, brother." "But if me and my people catch you you're gonna have a lot more to deal with." " Good evening, gentlemen." " Goodbye, Black Dynamite." "Will you stop that...?" "Hold it right there." "It's me, Black Dynamite." " What the hell do you want?" " I wanna help you." "Why should I trust you after you dropped dime on me to Chicago Wind?" "Because your brother Jimmy saved my life." "I was supposed to be with him the night he got killed." "But he called me and told me to stay at home." "I guess I owe him one." "I'll need a list of names and locations." "Ain't no thing." "Man, everything is gonna be okay." "Bullhorn Cream Corn here says he can help us find the cats we're looking for." "Now, what do you think?" "Man, I think we should put our ankles in it." "They broke into my home." "They got the ledger." "They got the manifest, they got everything." "Everything." "Names, dates, schedules." "We even got the shipping routes." "They won't be able to take a shit without us knowing when or what color." "We cleaned up the streets and gave them back to the people." "Once again, making them a pleasant place to take an afternoon stroll." "Extra, extra." "Hot off the presses." "Black Dynamite cleans up the street." "It's unbelievable, Black Dynamite." "Everyone looks so happy and it's all thanks to you." "I'd like to take the credit but dig, Mama." "There's no I in "revolut--" In "team."" "Look, I'm know I'm gonna be rusty, but I have to try." "Hi, girls." "What is your name?" "I'm Shawanda, and her name's Brikwilla." "Those are beautiful names." "I'm Gloria and this is Black Dynamite." "My mama said my daddy's name is Black Dynamite." "So did my mama." "Hush up, little girls." "A lot of cats have that name." "Well, that was amazing." "Thank you for a beautiful day and night." "But I think I should be going." "I think you'll be safer if you stay here tonight." "Oh, you do, do you?" "I hope you don't think you're gonna get any of this cookie." "Because if I offered you some of this cookie this cookie might kill you." "Don't think because we've been frolicking in the park you got this closed because it takes" "Yeah, yeah, Mama." "You can hit the sheets or the streets." "It don't make me no never mind." "That's your bag, baby." "You can go or you can come." "Can you dig it?" "Yeah." "Black Dynamite." "We read the ledger and it just don't stop." "There's a trail of paper that leads all the way to the top." "A big shipment is coming to town and it's right there where that cracker wrote it down." "Now, we don't know the whens, but we do know the wheres." "And however the fuck the whats, we'll sure enough be there." "Looks like he's got two warehouses." "One big one, and one smaller one here." "We break into the two units, we hit the smaller one first then we scale the fence, enter from the south use an acetylene blowtorch to breech the warehouse from the back." "That way we avoid the guards." "Man, them honkies gonna be running for cover when us brothers get" "Get" " Get" "The torch is an issue." "We won't be able to get an acetylene torch in time." "Think again, brother." "You know somebody that's got one?" "I know just the cat." "All right, snowflake." "Where's the dope?" "Up yours, coon." "It's right over there in the body bags, jeez." "So how much dope is in the big warehouse?" "They're gonna kill me anyway." "I'm not gonna tell you nothing, coon." "Dynamite, I got something that will make him talk." "I ain't gonna tell you nothing." "Operation Code Kansas." "Can't stop it, too late." "Operation Code Kansas gonna fix all the niggas." "Yeah, you won't be so big and so bad anymore because Kansas gonna fix you." "Just the niggas." "Just the nig" "Damn, Smoke." "I think you gave him too much of that shit." "How long till it wears off?" "It's malt liquor?" "It's that new Anaconda Malt Liquor from the billboards." "It's supposed to give you:" "Tastes good too." "I know the drugs are here somewhere." "We're gonna check every crate until we find it." "I can't believe it, fellas." "That entire shipment was just malt liquor." "Don't beat yourself up, Dynamite." "We still kept the 50 keys we found in that first warehouse from getting on the streets." "I'm gonna go home and drink the rest of this, man." "Y'all should've grabbed some of this shit." "This shit is incredible." "I tell you, brothers, it just don't make no damn sense." "The manifest, the shipping log, the ledgers." "All records are consistent with that damned beer shipment." "If anything else was in there, it would have to weigh something." "They got it out before we got there." "No." "Why would they have guards there if they got the drugs out?" "No, them crackers was protecting something." "B.D., we checked every single crate, every stinking bottle." "Man, I'm with you, Dynamite." "That babbling cracker knew something." "What that guard said, I keep running through my head." "Code Kansas." ""You people won't be so big anymore."" "Code Kansas." "It just don't make no damn sense." "Hey, sweet thing." "What don't make no sense is the service around this motherfucker." "Bitch, do you see us?" "I'd like two sausage links, two sausage patties two hot dogs, split down the middle twice, okay?" "Baloney, fry that up into a dome." "Slice that, take a spatula, smush fry it." "And one waffle, please." "I can get your waffle but all we got is the chicken from last night." "Now, I can bring you some of that if you want some meat." "Chicken and waffles?" "That's it." "Take it easy, brother." "It ain't her fault." "Sorry, sister, we all just a little uptight." "But if you bring us some of them good-ass waffles everything will be all right." "Man, you guys ain't had no waffles like these." "These waffles are so good they're like they come from down South." "These buttery motherfuckers will melt in your mouth." " Man, you ain't had no waffles" " Wait." "Bullhorn, what did you just say?" "You said:" ""Melts in your mouth."" "Quick." "What else melts in your mouth?" " MM's." " Exactly." "And not in your hands." " Yeah." " Yeah." "And who makes MM's?" "Mars Candy Company makes it." " Yeah, yeah." " That's right." "And Mars is also" " The Roman god of war." " That's what I'm telling you." "Who is the Greek god of war?" " Ares." " Right on." "Now, you take Mars and spell it backwards, drop the S." " What is it?" "What did you get?" " R" "Ram." "That's right." "And ram is the zodialogical sign for Aries." " Now dig." " That right." " Ares's half sister is Athena." " Now you're getting it." "Whoa, whoa, whoa, Athena, Athens." "Which is the capital of Greece." "And as we all know zodialogical astronomy was created by the Greeks in" "785 B.C." "And 785 is the area code of Topeka." "Oh, my God." "785 is the area code to Topeka, Kansas." "Code Kansas." "Now you take that, spell it backwards and drop the S." "Snake doc." "Snake doctor, yeah." " Yes." " Yeah." "And brothers who is the Greek demigod of medicine who believed that snakes' tongues had mystical healing powers?" "Aesculapius, of course." "He had a staff with snakes intertwining all around that bitch." "They called it Aesculapius's staff." "It's a symbol the medical field uses to this day." "I've seen it." "Now, what legend involving snakes is in both Greek and Roman mythology?" "Now, come on." "It involves Aesculapius's own father." "Apollo." "Yeah." "Thanks, lady." "That's right." "Apollo slew the serpent at Delphi which was a big-ass snake." "That's right." "And what, brothers, is the biggest snake in the world?" "The South American anaconda." " What she said." " Anaconda Malt Liquor." "And what is the slogan for Anaconda Malt Liquor?" ""Anaconda Malt Liquor gives you--"" "Gives you what?" "And who else is famous for:" "Little Richard." " Who?" " Little Richard." "So, what they're really saying is" "Anaconda Malt Liquor gives you Little Richard." "What is another word for Richard?" " Gunsmoke." "Come on, get up." " Gunsmoke!" "Damn." "Anaconda Malt Liquor gives you a little dick." "Should we kill him?" "Man, do you want to live?" "I said, do you want to go on?" "Man, this time these crackers have gone too far." " The warehouse." " The warehouse." "Freeze, you jive-time suckers." "Who's in charge?" "Brothers, make these honkies load this dick-shrinking poison back into the warehouse so we can burn this mother down." "Waste them if they make a sound." "I'm gonna go inside and find out who's running this shit." " All right, men, move it." " Come on, you heard him." "Sucker, you drop it rght there." " O'Leary?" " That's right." "Go ahead, guys, I got this." "O'Leary, you son of a bitch." "I should have known it was you." "You should have." "You were too busy and trying to lay that orphan mama to not see what was in front of your face." "You diabolical dick-shrinking motherfuckers." "You were the leak all the time." "And bet you were behind Jimmy's death." "Hey, man, I was just following orders." "That's what a good soldier does, follow orders, unlike you." "Everything's gotta be done the Black Dynamite way." "I gave the order on Jimmy." "I gave it to James, who gave it to the don." "What good's it gonna do you now?" "The old birthday-candle trick from Nam." "Just when you think it's out..." "O'Leary." "O'Leary, where are you?" "Yeah, who's this?" "Fellas, we going on a boat ride to Kung Fu Island." "Hey, Black Dynamite, there's the island." "Okay." "Now, here's the plan." "Yeah." "Okay, let's split up." "He's here." "We kicked their ass." "Power to the people, brothers." "This is it, brothers." " This is where we stick it to the Man." " Yeah." "Now, let's go get that lab." "All right, let's go." "You know, when we get back home, I'm gonna retire from the revolution." "Start a family." "Show this picture." "That's Betty Jo." "Yeah, right on, yeah." "Buy a home in the country." "Raise our own fruits and vegetables." "Bake our own bread, know what I mean?" "Bake our own" "Who saw that coming--?" "Who saw where that came from?" "Let's go." "I should've known you would be behind this, Fiendish Dr. Wu." "Your knowledge of scientific biological transmogrifications is only out-matched by your zest for kung-fu treachery." "Your kung fu is quite extraordinary, Black Dynamite." "But no match for mine." "You should have joined us when you had the chance." "But now you must die." "Man, I'll take this jive-ass turkey." "Bullhorn, no." "Bullhorn, no." "At long last, our friendship bonded by the struggle against the Man has been brought to an end by kung-fu treachery." "Brother, your death will not go unavenged." "Fiendish Dr. Wu, you done fucked up now." "Get him." "You must try the Wu family Red Silk Kung Fu." "Black Dynamite Panther Fist." "What the fuck, huh?" "Keep your eye on Black Dynamite." "Looking for me?" "Can you see where I'm coming from, you jive motherfucker?" "No rush, huh?" "Come on, huh?" "You told him to keep an eye out for me." "I threw that shit before I walked in the room." "I wanna know who's pulling your strings." "Now start talking." "Talk." " I said, start talking." " Okay." "Your government has been preoccupied with building the bigger penis for years." "What's this green one?" "It did exactly opposite of what it was intended." "It made the penis shrivel to the size of a 2-month-old snapping turtle." "This is what you've been putting in the malt liquor?" "I was under orders." "They threatened to fire me." "Speaking of fire." "Suddenly, I'd like to leave your island." "No!" "No!" "No." "You dirty motherfucker." "Hey, Black Dynamite, I found a helicopter." "Quick, give me a hairpin." "What's in the briefcase, Black Dynamite?" "How far does this all go, man?" "Cream Corn, this goes all the way to the top." "And when I say top, I mean the tippety-top." "There it is, Black Dynamite." "The Honky House." "I'm going down." " This shouldn't take long." " Whoa, hey" " Take the controls." " What are you talking about?" "Whoa, hey, hey, man." "Son of a bitch." "Cream Corn, no!" "I should have known it was you all the time." "I should have asked myself, "Who's the man so wicked so cruel to serve smack to the orphanage kill my brother Jimmy, and put out a drug to shrink black men's dicks?"" "Only one man, and that's you, Tricky Dick." "So I'm here to deliver you one presidential ass-whooping." "Black Dynamite." "There is a perfectly reasonable explanation for that." "Showtime, motherfucker." "Fucking..." "Black Dynamite." "Who the fuck would duck...?" "Piece of shit." "Don't fuck with me." "Motherfucker." "Take your filthy black hands off the presidential dinnerware you moon cricket." "And now, Black Dynamite, you must die." "You had enough, Mr. President?" "You'll never get away with this." "Watch me, you little insecure cracker." "You think by shrinking our johnsons it's gonna make your situation any better?" "That's your problem, Tricky Dick." "You are paranoid." "Like sending those two-bit crooks to Watergate." "For what?" "For these?" " Look at you." " What?" "You lost it all, turkey." " Kill me." " Say what?" " Kill me." " No." "That's the easy way out for you." "Unless you want the rest of this freaky shit to hit the news I suggest you take care of me and my people." "Can you dig it?" "I said, can you dig it?" "Yes, I can dig it." "Thought you could." "First Lady, I'm sorry I pimp-slapped you into that china cabinet." "I used excessive force." "Oftentimes, I cross the line but I try to do so in the name of what's right." "Most of the time, the ends justifies the means." "But in this case, I feel like I betrayed my own code of ethics and for that, sugar, I apologize." "But I shot at you." "I tried to kill you, Black Dynamite." "This is true, but you did not connect." "You shot a plate." "Had you connected." "Maybe pimp-slapping you into that might have been justified." "But I feel I crossed the line." "And for that, please accept my apology." "I do." "I do, it's just" "Oh, Black Dynamite, you're so righteous." "This is also true." "Because whenever there's injustice wrongs to be" "Oh, Black Dynamite." "Go on, honey." "Because wherever there's injustice, wrongs to be righted innocents to be defended, Black Dynamite will be there delivering ass-whoopings." "And I will not hesitate to lay the hammer down on any clown that comes around." "Because if they wanna fight, they best come see me because I'm Black Dynamite." "How you doing with that midget girl you sent out?" "Man, she keeps coming up short." "And better no nigga mess with me, neither." "I would jump on him, all 93 pounds of dynamite." "That's right." "So I says, "Bitch, you look like you need a pimp in your life."" "She said, "I got a pimp."" "I said, "Shit, that nigga ain't no pimp." "He a valet for ho's."" "It's called the Mo Bitches Variety Pack." " Oh, yeah?" " Yeah." "I send out a big ho, a little ho, a skinny ho, and one Navajo." " Is that right?" " That's right." "Take that, you cracker-ass cracker." "All right, girls, let's take them down." "I only do two things well in this world." "I take money from bitches and I sell drugs to the community." "I had to send your ho back the other day." " No?" " Yeah, man." "She reckless eyeballing and carrying on." "She fine, but I said, "Hey, your man is bona fide."" "See?" "You're a righteous pimp." "Shit, the rea pimping lives here." "It ain't ego." "That's how we go." "You like that?" "You gotta cross the lines sometimes." "Sometimes to do the right thing, you got to do the ugly thing." "You know people, they don't want to see the cow killed they just want their steak on a plate." "Can you dig it?" "Good evening, gentlemen." "Who let that nigga in my house?"