"Well, it's happening." "Oz sold the company, and now we're gonna be a bunch of corporate bitches." "Cash don't work for "the man"." "Unless it's Aquaman, 'cause he rides a seahorse." "You know they're untameable, right?" "Fear not, my little lamb chops." "I know you're all concerned, because we're seemingly under "new management,"" "But hear my words:" "Nothing is going to change!" "Yes, there will be changes." "Great ones!" "Molly!" "OK, in your handbooks, you'll find a list" "of all the pertinent OCP perks." "Get ready." "Two weeks paid vacation." "How could that be?" "Travel coupons." "Traveling?" "What?" "6% off all OCP products." "Not six!" "Yearly bonuses." "I don't think Aquaman gave yearly bonuses." "And, finally, I give you ..." "Ricky, I wanna do it." "The Java-nator!" "Oh my God!" "This bitch makes coffee!" "This is literally like ... the only good thing that's ever happened to me." "My psychic was right." "Today, everything changes!" "Shall I pour you a cup?" "No thank you, sir." "I'm a decaf girl myself." "Caffeine makes me a little, ahhh, crazy," "if you can imagine such a thing?" "No." "Wow, that thing looks like it's getting a little long in the tooth." "Yeah, I've had this baby since I opened this company." "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts." "So the dance begins." "Breaking In" " Season 2" " Episode 6 "Cash of the Titans"" "Well, the transition seems to be going smoothly." "Oh yes, smooth as a Ken doll." "I've made the rounds, and I've already gotten to know everybody." "What brought you to Contra?" "You did." "I'm your nephew." "Your sister Jan is my mom." "Oh my ..." "Remember when she got knocked up by that loser from the cannery?" "Oh my god!" "What ever happened to that guy?" "He's still my father." "How could they not love us after we buttered them up with all those perks?" "Yeah, just give them all the perks first, you know, like little spoonfuls of sugar." "And, uh, well you know what the queen of England says." "They make the medicine go down." "No, that was actually the ..." "Nevermind." "So that was the sugar part." "And now ..." "The salt." "The salt." "We take away everything they love." "Yeah, well, it's a necessary evil." "So, where should we start?" "Well, in every horror movie, you know who always gets it first." "What's up?" "Listen, quick question." "What's with the skirt?" "It's battle dress." "I'm Perseus." "Yeah." "Son of Zeus." "Of course." "You know, lover of women." "So it's not some sort of religious garb that I have to be tolerant of?" "No, it's from "Clash of the Titans." Today's Casual Friday." "But perhaps a little too casual." "Just a bit." "May we suggest ... trousers, made of fabric." "You see, OCP has a very strict dress code." "And defying it is grounds for termination." "Like "Terminator" termination?" "If it were up to me, we would be wearing tube tops and butt-less chaps every day." "But you know, dumb old rules." "Gotcha." "Couldn't help but overhear ..." "totally respect the rules, but Casual Friday is sort of a Contra tradition." "Totally, but you're OCP now." "And, uh, they dont like gladiators." "Look, I totally see where you're coming from." "Ok, good." "But keeping the kids happy," "is where I'm coming from." "Totally respect that." "And that is why i am giving this young boy a corporate card, so he can go bananas at the republic and buy himself some chinos and a plaid belt." "Totally appreciate that gesture, but he's gonna take my card, and buy himself an even tinier tunic." "I don't know what to do!" "It's Casual Friday, what do you want from me?" "You see, you're new." "Now, Cash is the kind of genius that needs to be embraced and nurtured." "The Force is strong with me." "Well, these magnets help." "I certainly don't want to contradict OCP," "But i think it's best if you let his geek flag fly, what do you say?" "Listen, i love a good costume, if you know what i mean." "But there are rules!" "I mean you don't see me wandering around in my CatWoman pleathers, although I would much rather be wearing those right now." "Meow." "Wha- ..." "What the?" "I thought I took that thing out behind the shed and shot it!" "I figured if it ain't broke why change it?" "Ok, Oswald, I am not gonna argue with you" "over a coffemaker." "Good." "I mean i think we're much bigger people than that." "Let's just ..." "Why don't we let the office choose?" "Cam, are you crazy?" "Get over here!" "Whoa dude!" "You chose a coffee?" "!" "Whose side did you pick?" "The short line, it's coffee, who cares?" "Oz and Ronnie!" "For the love of Zeus, don't you see what's going on?" "What?" "Look, there's a war brewing, between the office gods and us mortals are caught in between." "It's "The Clash of the Titans"." "It's always some nerd thing with you, huh?" "Yo Cameron, Veronica wants to see you." "Hey, Veronica." "You wanted to see me?" "Cameron." "Yeah." "Come in, come sit." "Wanted to have a little private pow-wow, shhh." "Oh ..." "Ok." "You want me to close the door?" "No, I have to leave it open." ""Legally"." "You know, the old sexual harassment thing." "Right, yes." "Kind of a lawsuit-ish situation for me." "It's a whole:" "He said, he said, he said, she said, kind of a thing." "Wow. that's ... that's a lot." "Mm-hm." "You know whose junk I've been checking out lately?" "I don't need to ..." "Boop." "Yeah." "Uh oh, I better call my sponsor!" "So sue me!" "No, don't." "Uh, you know, what I'm trying to say is ..." "I know a born leader when I see one." "And I would like to offer you ... a promotion." ""Executive Liason, in charge of transitions"." "Wow!" "What is an "Executive ..." ?" "The thing you just said?" "Well Cameron, there are a lot of changes going on around here." "Some good, some great." "And I just need you to make sure that things are running smoothly, and that, you know, you kind of report any, well, hiccups back to me." "Ok." "Comes with a key to the executive toilette." "We have one of those?" "Oh yeah, Molly found it." "Ocupado." "Son of a bitch, I've been going across the street to the gas station." "Why don't you just take some quiet time, ya know?" "I'm good." "Well, no." "The coffee." "I'm sorry?" "Promotion?" "Blimey, mate." "I'm gonna have to put a bell around your neck" "There is no promotion." "I specifically heard you say the word ..." "You know, here in the colonies, we have a little thing we like to call manipulation." "I mean I'm not proud of it, but every change I try to make gets blocked by Oz." "I need an inside man, oh in so many ways ..." "Oh i see, so you're getting Cameron on your side so the others will follow." "Oh that's fine, you know you're such an inspirational ..." "Thats cute ..." "Oh that's actually engraved." "By my mother ..." "Top of the day, Cameron?" "Hey there, Mr. Monopoly." "What's with the get-up?" "Our new boss." "She's a terminatrix!" "Ronnie wants us to go corporate, so I'll wear a suit." "That's what I'll do." "Because I love OCP." "Just as much as I love coconut water and raquetball." "Ok dude, you're not being corporate, you're just doing your white guy voice." "It's offensive, and just so you know coconut water is very hydrating." "Hey Oz, uh, we gotta talk." "Hold on, hold on, just getting a head massage." "Ok, look, I had this bizarre meeting with Veronica and she wants me to..." "Do it!" "No." "I dont think you understand." "She offered me ..." "Excellent!" "You're not even listening, ok ..." "I don't need to, Mr. Executive Liason, coordinator in charge of transitions." "How do you know that?" "That just happened." "Not only is this a heavenly head massager, it doubles as a sonic listening device." "Sonic listening device?" "Why can't this office just be normal?" "The good news is now I am privy to Ronnie's little "he said, she said" legal woes." "I'm going to use that to restore the balance of power in this office." "Are you in?" "No!" "No I just ..." "I don't want to be caught in the middle of anything." "Please?" "No!" "I'm not doing it." "No way." "No!" "This is your plan, using me as harassment bait?" "I'm not a boy toy." "Time to shake your can." "Target's on your six." "Oh, Cameron, i hope you won't take this the wrong way ..." "Well, hello!" "Sup." "You like what you see?" "Really?" "A mouth full of peanut butter?" "You're killing me!" "Peanut butter has many different uses." "It's one of the most versatile butters." "Get that?" "!" "It's working." "She's on the hook, now reel her in!" "I need some milk." "No, no." "Hold your position." "Hold your position." "I wanna go home." "I feel really weird." "Don't move, she's on the approach." "I can't stick it out any further, these pants are so tight." "Nice try, Oswald." "Abort!" "Abort!" "Argh!" "You want a war?" "It is on!" "It is on like "Donkey Kong"!" "Listen, Oprah, it's all gonna come back, everything ..." "I'll call you right back." "No, don't take the video games!" "Oz, do something." "They killed Dug!" "Who's Dug?" "Dig Dug!" "Damn it, stupid cubicle cage." "Hey Mel, do you have a napkin?" "No Melanie." "Veronica moved her." "Didn't want you guys distracting each other." "but we always sit together." "That's our thing." "Well, it could be our thing." "Oh, this is bad." "I can't believe they touched the Captain Kirk chair." "What in the name of the Prime Directive is this?" "Oh, I took your office." "Yay!" "Nobody touches the chair!" "Oh, I touched it alright." "Yeah, I put my dirty little fingles all over it." "And I loved it." "Just throw it all out." "Cast out of Mount Olympus, the gods have spoken." "Just let it go." "Push the button." "Fill 'er up." "It's just that easy." "Mmm, what an aroma!" "Do you need anything notarized?" "I got a certificate." "It's kind of an honor." "I'm good." "Thank you." "This place is going to hell!" "They put key cards on all the doors so they'll know when we're late." "Why are you wearing that?" "Because these fluorescent lights" "make me look hideous!" "Come on!" "You could never look ..." "Dick!" "Well, I didn't ..." "Hello?" "Hey!" "It's me!" "Don't turn around." "I said don't turn around!" "We're kicking off plan B, and Veronica can't know you and I are still in cahoots." "Say you just closed the Johnson account." "Say it!" "Say it loud!" "I just closed the Johnson account." "Holy crap, that's awesome!" ""Always Be Closing"" "Oz, we are not in cahoots." "This is just like when my parents got divorced." "They used me as a pawn." "It's why I locked myself in my room with my computer for five years." "You wanna talk about it?" "No." "Let's get back to the plan." "No, no plans." "You lost." "Just admit it." "you sold the company, it's not yours." "Things will change." "Oh yeah." "Things are about to change." "Veronica's about to switch from decaf to caf." "Say hello to El Injerto from the Hue Hue Tanango, region of Guatelama." "The strongest coffee on Earth." "Observe." "Whoa." "Caffeine makes me a little, ahhh, crazy." "Who's in for Vegas?" "Oh no wait." "No, no, no." "No, Screw that." "Everyone goes to Vegas." "Let's go to Reno." "I want my mommy." "What?" "What happened?" "What?" "Hey!" "Oh!" "It's ok, it's ok, it's ok." "Everything is fine." "Well, it's not fine actually." "It was rather terrifying, but the good news is no one was hurt." "Well one person was hurt, actually." "Quite severely." "What?" "What's going on?" "That was my office." "No, not anymore." "And I've got the paperwork that says it's mine." "Got your little "Ronnie Hancock" right there." "I dont rememeber signing this." "Yes, you had a little bit of an episode." "Yeah, yeah, it was pretty psychotic." "It's all settled, let's go to Dubai." "I'll fuel the jet." "Right." "I'll call my jetpack guy." "Ok, and you'll give me my office back." "I will, I will." "Wait, hold on one second, I've got another call." "Hello?" "You know, I probably should have told you that we were out of decaf." "Guess what, that signature is not gonna hold up in a court of law," "you big ..." "That's why," "I had your guy notarize it." "Take good care of her." "Hey boys, looking good." "Guess who's got his office back?" "Well goody for him." "What do we got?" "Nothin'." "And it's gonna get even crazier around here." "It's "The Wrath of the Titans"." "What are we gonna do?" "We're gonna get in the middle." "Ok, Ladyhawke's flyin'." "Operation Peace Talks are a go." "Ok, Mel, you're up." "Morning V." "I love that dress." "Thanks." "Alright, nice." "What can I do ya for?" "Oz wants to see you in his office." "Oh, great." "Got it." "Ok, her keycard is in pocket." "Oz is on the move." "That's all you, Cash." "Hey boss, I just saw Ronnie snooping around your office." "Good to have you on the team, kid." "What was that?" "A pat on the back." "A little higher." "Yes!" "Shh, dude, you didn't see a thing!" "Hey, what'd you do?" "Come here to gloat about your glory day?" "Oh great." "Is that why you summoned me here?" "So you could make fun of me?" "I didn't ask ..." "We gotta get outta here!" "We locked you both in, just like the judge did with my parents." "He made them sit in a room and talk to each other like adults." "And if you don't,we'll pump poisonous gas in there." "We scrapped that?" "I'll get us out of here." "Wait, where's my ...?" "Oh, what?" "Don't worry about it, Veronica." "My pockets are unpickable." "Ha ha, keep swiping'." "Demagnetized your keycard." "Jedi power... activate." "Keep doing your thing." "Ok, there has to be some way out of here." "There isn't." "This place is built like a bunker." "It's a perfect plan." "Unless we do exactly what they say, one of us is gonna have to eat the other." "Well ..." "We got all day, Start talkin'." "This is absurd!" "It's been hours." "They need nourishment." "I had a snake that lasted six weeks without food." "How long is this gonna drag on, man?" "Shouldn't someone go in there and mediate?" "but the office is a non-starter, no compromise!" "Well is there anything, at all, on the table that is negotiable?" "Anything?" "Ok, the Oz-spresso machine but only because my coffee tastes like a bag of ass." "Oz-spresso?" "." "Thank you." "Veronica ..." "I'll give up fluorescent lighting." "I'll be doing that Melanie girl a favor." "No more cubicles." "Fine." "Keycards." "Unlimited office supplies." "Corporate retreats." "Staple Center box seats." "Weekly status reports." "Doggy daycare." "Two personal items per cubicle." "Robot battles." "Alright, I'll give up Nerf weapons." "No, I want Casual Fridays." "I wear the skirts around here." "I can't do that to Cash." "It's all he has." "It's all the kid's got!" "Why are you fighting for distractions?" "What you call distractions, I call motivators." "Oswald, people are not working." "You are forcing me to do something i don't wanna do." "Oh my God, what's happening?" "What is it?" "What?" "What?" "What do I have to give you in return?" "It's not me." "It's them." "You want my office?" "You give them theirs back." "Release the Kraken!" "Here's the thing, Veronica..." "If you want our best, you have to let us be us." "We'll never be corporate drones that you can cage in with your cubicles." "Cash needs his costumes and his video games." "Cameron needs to awkwardly flirt with Melanie." "These are the things that make Contra, Contra." "I cannot have OCP taking all that away." "That's lovely." "Just pop it there." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Just on the left, thanks." "Lovely." "Hey." "Oh, hi." "Thanks for helping us out." "Sure." "Do you think we could get a Miss Pacman?" "Molly!" "I never said that." "Told ya nothing would change around here." "Well ..." "You kinda lost your office." "Yeah, I've never really been much of a gambler." "Or am I?" "What the hell is this?" "What the hell is what?" "You've had a secret office this whole time?" "You didn't give up anything." "I'll allow it."