"Previously on The Real L Word..." "I think I need a drink." "I noticed that Rachel and Romi were flirting, and my initial thought was, "what's going on?"" "You just kissed her." "Like, how easy you did that." "Do you want a threesome?" "Babe..." "Babe..." "Romi!" "My behavior was out of control." "How did I get home last night?" "I just looked at myself and said, "you are done." "I can't do this anymore."" "Kelsey needs more sex." "She needs me being affectionate." "I'm 23." "I need sex." "Cheers to us getting along from now on." "We get to the bar, and Claire's being very warm and affectionate." "Felt great." " I miss you." " Miss you too." "You came here to work things out, and I believe it, and then as soon as you walk in the door, you're calling up some other chick telling her that you love her too." "Both of you know what I'm doing." "I don't need to wait around for an asshole like you that makes me feel like shit about myself all the time." "No, Marissa just texted me and said her flight landed." "Riss!" "What's up, mama?" "Marissa's one of my straight friends from college." "She's coming to town to see L.A. lesbians and helping me size 'em up." "I met someone out here." "Her name is Chanel." "You're in lust already?" "Yeah, it's like crazy lust, though." "It's like, "I like you." "I like you too!"" ""Okay!" "Well, wanna be my girlfriend?"" "Let's just not put all our eggs into this one basket." "Can you think of anybody else you'd wanna ask?" "The person who we thought was gonna be our donor is out." ""Operation:" "Find sperm."" "He has a B.S. in mechanical engineering." " Our kid would need braces." " Those are some" " Ooh, serious eyebrows." " Some thick-ass eyebrows." "At this point, I don't care where it comes from anymore." "The end is what's important, and that's Kacy and I starting a family and having a baby." "Oh!" "Both:" "He's cute!" "I just heard that you hooked up with Sara again." "What the fuck?" "You don't have to answer to anybody." "You're goddamn right, I don't, 'cause I'm a fucking adult." "I think Whitney is making stupid decisions, and she hasn't held Sara accountable for anything that she's done." "Sara told Hana that she wanted to get back with her" " and move to New York." " Yes." "It's so manipulative, and it's so shitty." "I feel really fucking betrayed and played." "What am I mad about, Sara, really?" "Somebody's shady as fuck, and somebody's lying." "You lied!" "You're such a fucking liar." "Are you serious right now, Sara?" "And the common denominator is always fucking Sara." "If I can't learn from this, then I'm a fucking idiot." "[Love darling's hazy]" "♪ It was just the other night ♪" "♪ I don't wanna think about it ♪" "♪ I don't wanna start a fight ♪" "♪ I don't wanna think about it ♪" "♪ every time I take a step left, right ♪" "♪ yeah, I think I'm gonna sleep real good tonight ♪" "♪ just think about it ♪" "♪ you'll find a way to make me crazy ♪" "♪ hazy ♪" "♪ so hypnotized ♪" "♪ think of the blue skies ♪" "♪ new eyes ♪" "♪ and I'll never roam again ♪" "♪ I'm back in love again ♪" "♪ found my way back home again ♪" "♪ ♪" "[Clara C's Til We Go plays]" "♪ ♪" "♪ well, the gray is choking the blue ♪" "♪ out of the sky ♪" "[Line ringing]" "Thanks for calling Xytex." "Lee Whitney speaking." "Hi, Lee Whitney." "It's Cori." "Okay, Cori." "Are you ready to get your order going?" "Oh, my goodness, I am so ready!" "And you're still wanting to go with donor 2-3, right?" "Right." "We went to a sperm bank, which was totally against everything I wanted to do in the beginning, but now I'm so thankful." "I think this is even better." "Okay." "Are you wanting to purchase all three of those units?" " Absolutely." " And place them into storage?" "Yes." "And also you said he's an I.D. Donor." "I just wanna confirm that that means that when the child reaches 18, he is open to being contacted..." "Right?" "Um..." "Yes." "We will act as a mediator for the offspring and the donor unless both waive that service and just want to have direct communication." "That's great." "We went with an identity disclosure candidate, because knowing where you came from and who you are is kind of important to both of us." "So we're gonna do the three washed units." " Uh-huh." " And they were $640 each." " Okay." " So that's gonna bring your total to...$1,920." " Okay." " Good luck to you both." "Thank you!" "Have a great day." " Okay." "You too." " Bye." "[Laughs] Oh!" " We've got batter!" " Oh, God!" "Oh, jeez, $2,000" "We've never even spent $2,000 on ourselves, but we spent it on sperm." " On our future." " Sperm." "I like to refer to it as our future." "Okay." "So now we just have to wait for me to ovulate." "Franny, what do you think about these shoes?" "What?" "You're not helping me at all." "Franny, you think I should wear the khaki pants?" "Come--can you come help me for a minute, for one second, please?" "Claire..." "You know, after a huge argument," "I don't know how she shuts her feelings off and on like that." "You like these more-- these khaki ones more?" "Yeah." "It kind of looks like an old lady." "Okay." "There was so much tension, and she just pretended like nothing was wrong." "I can't do that." "I can't just turn things off like that." "Well, yeah, I'll clean tomorrow." "Her and I together just brings back bad feelings, and so I think it's best that we don't communicate for a little bit." "I'm just trying to survive until she gets out of the house." "All right, Francine." "What, um, what are you gonna do about your apartment?" "I'll be out by--I'm gonna try and get out by Monday." "By Monday?" "Okay." "Oh, that perked you right up." " Huh?" " That perked you right up." "No." "I'm just wondering your time frame, that's all." "Okay." "All right." " Have fun." " Okay." "Yeah." " Bye." " Bye." "Scurry on." "♪ I've got my life all put together ♪" "♪ I dot the "I"s and cross the "t"s ♪" "I just want my feet rubbed." "Ooh, that's tickling." "My feet are so ticklish." "Like, this is--this tickles." "So this morning I text Chanel to just say good morning or whatever." "She was like, "good morning." I was like, "how are you?"" "Like, "how are you feeling?" And she was like, "scary."" "She was like, "'cause I just opened my eyes and looked at the phone to see if you texted me."" "She goes, "I just want you to always be excited about us" ""and about me and support me" ""and protect me in my times of need." "And I know that I'll do the same."" "It sounds so soon, and I don't know if it's because I'm straight, but that kind of conversation sounded like-- in the first four days, I'm just talking about like--what do you like to do?" "Where are we gonna go eat?" "Like so that we can get to know each other." "These kind of messages in text" "And we don't even know those things." "You don't even know her favorite color!" " I know." " And y'all are having," ""I need you to protect me"?" "Get the fuck out of here." " Are you kidding me?" " I mean, I don't know." "For me, I like her..." "You know." "Like, I can't even think about another person, you know?" "So it doesn't scare me." "And it should." "It should scare you, 'cause it's so emotionally heavy." "Like, it does sound like wedding vows, like she just preached her whole life, like this is what I'm gonna say to you" ""Support me, protect me"?" "What?" "Broad, I don't even know your favorite color." "I don't know if you like night or day." "Like, everyone sees it but me, 'cause I've never been in a relationship." "So for me, it's like, "ooh, it feels good, let's go."" "She's like" "I've never been in a relationship in my life, gay or straight." "So I have, like..." "Zero experience." "We're gay." "We can't even get married." " It's fake anyway." " Thanks, guys." " Bye." " Thank you." "If we move in together, that's a marriage." "♪ You said time never hurt no one ♪" "♪ a little bit of work till you get things done ♪" "♪ gotta slow it down if you're on the run ♪" "Hey!" "Today I flew up to San Francisco to host a party that my friend throws at trigger." "It's so good to see you." "Then tomorrow Alyssa and her girlfriend, shay, are driving up to meet me." "You're here till what, Friday?" "Yeah." "You're never gonna get rid of me." " I know!" "Clearly." " I'm sorry." "♪ Da da da ♪" "♪ ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ♪" "San Francisco is my playground." "I go up there, I play for a couple days, and then I leave." "San Francisco is my Vegas." "♪ ♪" "At this point, it couldn't come at a better time." "I'm ready to get out of L.A." "And have some drama-free fun." "♪ It started out with a test ♪" "♪ but it went straight to your head ♪" "And the Lexington is the perfect place to meet up with friends before you're going out for the night." "It's like the cheers of lesbians, really." "It's like the dive bar where every dyke knows your name." " Hi." " Hi." " Sorry." " Hi." "Hey." "Sorry." "Sorry, I have to slap her." "[Gasps] Get another drink." " Oh, hi!" " [Squeals]" "Jaq and I haven't seen each other in a couple months now." "How are you?" " I'm good." "How are you?" " I'm good." "During the summer, when Sara and I were apart," "Jaq and I had a very intense, short thing." "And then she said," ""I'm gonna change my status on Facebook."" "It was like slow motion." "I looked over, and I saw her click to "in a relationship," and I was like, "no!" "Shit!"" "It was, um..." "A panic attack." " Just me." " I'm so impressed with you." "Needless to say, it dwindled out." "Somehow the status went away." "We never talked about it again." "But every time we see each other, you know, there's definite chemistry." "Look at these working hands." " I know, right?" " These are some working' hands." " These are some fuckin' hands." " These are lady hands." "At this point, I honestly don't know what's gonna happen, but I'm hoping that Jaq can party with me." "[Murmurs]" "Yeah." "♪ I am a lady killer ♪" "♪ gonna flaunt my stuff tonight ♪" "♪ gonna find myself in lights ♪" "[Food sizzling]" "Hi, baby." "Baby." "Smells good." "I'm so hungry." " You hungry?" " Yeah." "[Kissing]" "That smells so good, baby." " Do you have wine?" " I got some wine." "I got you some sparkling water." "I got you something." " Um..." " Good." " Open it." " Babe!" "Open it." "It's perfect." " What did you get me?" " It's perfect for you." "It's gonna help you." ""The holy bookmark."" "So cute, hon." "So you can organize your schedule and get all your shit in here." "Babe, this is so cute." " Isn't that cute, baby?" " I love it." "I'm starving." "You have your wine?" "Yeah." "I am not drinking anymore, and Kelsey is going to continue drinking." "This is a new place for me and Kelsey." "I mean, we've been drinking together since we met, and that's kind of all we know is the two of us drunk together." "Glad that you're home." "Man, I'm really amazed at how well I cooked this meal." " I know." " Damn, I'm good." "You're really proud of yourself?" "She cooked me a really sweet dinner, and it just started off like, oh, like, I'm home, and I can, like, just unwind and, like, be with my girlfriend and just no drama." "Oh, my God, babe, the chicken you made me, too, for lunch" "So good." "You're so good at this." "I want to take a bath, and then we can be inspired, and then we can fuck all night." "Come sit and talk to me." "The past couple of weeks have been nice." "You know what I honestly think it is?" "The sunshine." "It's been nice, because I haven't been wasted." "It's not that I..." "It was going really good, and it was cute, and it was sweet, but for one person, the extra-large cheap bottle of wine that she came home with was probably not the best thing for her." "How's your wine?" "Do you hate it?" " No, it's fine." " Okay." "I'm fine." "[TV playing]" "Look at them sitting down, talking to people about their problems." " I know." " No?" "Okay." "When Kelsey gets a little buzzed, she thinks she makes sense, and she doesn't make any sense." "I think you're drunk." "[Chuckling] No." "I think you are." "No, I'm not." " I think you're buzzed." " I'm buzzed, yeah." "Well, how much wine did you have?" "Two glasses." "Okay, three." "Oh, my God, you're in a mood." "No, I'm not in a mood." "You're in a mood." "No, you haven't been with me at the house." "I'm drinking." "You're not drinking." "You feel just fine with your alcohol in you, don't you?" "Huh?" "You feel fine with your alcohol in you." "Why you gotta say that?" "Normally, I'd be buzzed with her, and I wouldn't give a shit." "It'd be fun." "This night, I just really wanted us on the same page." " Shh." " She looks just like Chelsea." "[Sighs]" "What, honey?" "I do think that Kelsey has a drinking problem." "I think that she reminds me a lot of myself." "She doesn't drink for the buzz." "I don't drink for the buzz." "Once you get the buzz is when you should stop." "We drink to get fucking plastered." "The party does not end." "We don't want it to end." "I can't enjoy it when you get drunk too fast." "Okay?" "Okay." "All right." "I'm gonna turn the light off." "All right." "[Electronic dance music]" "Yah!" "Hey, baby!" "♪ ♪" "[Cheering]" "[Shouting]" "Basically, hosting a party is just like you get up and say some things over the microphone to get the crowd amped up." "[Loud cheering, Whitney shouting]" "The drinks are cheap, and the girls are hot, so that's what I'm tryin' to say right here!" "♪ You know that we fly tonight ♪" "♪ 'cause we own the night, yeah ♪" "There were definitely some fans there." "I always like meeting people that watched the show the first season." "♪ We own it, we know, yeah ♪" "♪ we know that we own it ♪" "The thing that I don't understand is, like, girls always want to smell my hair." "You know, like, they'll come up and, like, sneak a sniff." "And it's like, I mean, you can, but I don't know if I should hand it to 'em or what." "But one thing I've made sure of is that this should always smell on point." "♪ 'Cause we own it, we own it ♪" "♪ we own, yeah ♪" "[Cheering]" "[New song begins]" "Jaq and I are definitely getting comfortable with one another." "I just want to let her know that, like, she still has a place in my heart, for sure." "♪ Hot is the way you make me feel ♪" "♪ oh, babe ♪" "♪ hot is the way you make me feel ♪" "Jaq is gorgeous, and I'm definitely enjoying myself." "It's kind of, like, refreshing to not have to deal with intense drama or confusing emotions." "Like, one thing I can say about Jaq is she's always drama-free." "♪ ♪" "[Whispering] ♪ tell me what you want ♪" "♪ you see me every night ♪" "Maybe you could take lunch." "For this current moment," "Jaq is helping me forget my troubles with Sara." "♪ Your head and go to sleep ♪" "♪ I'm a superstar, star ♪" "♪ star, star, star ♪" "♪ give me what I want ♪" "♪ give me what I want ♪" "♪ I'm a superstar, star, star, star, star ♪" "♪ give me what I want ♪" "♪ give me what I want ♪" "♪ I'm a superstar, star ♪" "You guys are gonna be saying" "I'm a nasty, I'm a dirty bitch in the background, too." "I'll cue you." "Like, cue you, like, exactly where it comes in." "So, um, I'm dancing tonight." "I'll be dancing in my roommate's music video." "I'm a dancer, so this should be fun." "♪ I love sex ♪" "♪ s-e-x-x-x ♪" "♪ ♪" "♪ I love sex ♪" "♪ s-e-x-x-x ♪" "♪ ♪" "♪ ooh ♪" "It looks German, so..." ""Ge-wurtz-rammer."" "Whitney and I have been so crazy." "I mean, we had a blowout fight, like, right before she went to San Francisco, so, you know, I think it's over between us at this point." "♪ I want the same thing ♪" "♪ I want to be unleashed ♪" "Sara, if you're gonna be sober tomorrow morning and tell me I can't use this footage, you're fucked, 'cause I'm gonna use it." "Aah!" "Whitney, I don't like the way that she's made me feel in the past." "♪ Let's do a scene ♪" "♪ you like it rough?" "♪" "I just met this girl Erica, and I'm pretty into her." "I'm sure Whitney's doing her thing in San Francisco, so I'm gonna do mine." "I want to be with someone who wants to be with me, knows they're gonna be with me." "That's it." "I don't care what you say." "Like, I'm in this, so that's it." "[Upbeat music]" "♪ ♪" "I'm trying to find us a new apartment." "Who is this "us"?" "I mean, I don't know, like, we really, really like each other, so if it just works, then I'm good." "Too soon." "Or maybe I'm just that fucking amazing." "Or maybe you crazy too." "[Cell phone rings]" "What's up, ma?" "Why do you have to put that type of stuff on Facebook?" "What type of stuff?" "Ma, it's my Facebook." "My mom calls, and, um, she sees something on my Facebook 'cause I'm excited about Chanel." "[Whispering] Are you getting in trouble right now?" "That's--that stuff's wrong." "I don't like that." "It's starting to bother me." "What do you mean?" "That's not fair, mom." "I mean, 'cause, ma, like, I found somebody that I really think I like, and I think that's what the problem is." "Before, I was just talking about it, and you guys hadn't met anyone or whatever," " and now that there..." " What?" "Might actually be someone, you gettin' all scared again." " [Speaks indistinctly]" " Huh?" "I don't think I want to meet nobody, either." "Ma, she's not on a plane coming to north Carolina." "Ma, it's my personal Facebook." "Everybody puts personal stuff on Facebook." "All right, Sajdah, I gotta go." "That's way too much." "Bye, mom." "Bye, Sajdah." "I love you." "I love you, too." "I grew up in a world with just my mom." "Like, that was it." "Like, my mother worked really hard to, you know, provide for me mostly because my father never did." "She taught me to be really comfortable in my own skin, which made me comfortable coming out of the closet, but it took time for me to get comfortable with my sexuality, so I know that it's a process for her." "I told you, Marissa." "That's what she's been doing since the beginning." "She'll call and then be like," ""oh, I can't talk anymore." "That's too much." "Bye." [Laughs]" "But that's why it kills me, because, like, my mom is the most open-minded person I know." " You know what I mean?" " I mean, people can be open-minded until..." " It affects them." " It's their family." "Right, until it's directly to you, like..." "Your life completely changes when you find out that somebody is not on the "normal"" "straight and narrow that you expected them to be on." "It's not fair that my whole life gotta change" " because she's uncomfortable." " I'm just saying..." "I might be uncomfortable with some shit she decide to do, and I had to live through it, you know?" "♪ Lock, stock, and two smokin' barrels ♪" "♪ cover my back if I get into trouble ♪" "♪ 'cause I know nobody's in it ♪" "♪ for the love of it anymore ♪" "♪ you show me stuff, they show you the door ♪" "♪ di-ya duh da-da-duh ♪" " Me too." " What?" " I'm sucking you in." " Uh-oh." "It was really good to see Jaq, and, you know, we picked things up where we left them off." "Come back in bed right here." "What?" "Look at this bed." "You want to pre--like, you can make a pretend Jaq so you can snuggle." "No." "[Laughs]" "You don't have to leave." "Come lie down with me." "[Laughs] Shh." "I gotta go." " No." " Mm-hmm." "Mm-mm." "Okay." "I have no pants on." "I know." "How is that?" "I was only after one thing." "Jaq is very pleasant to be with." "Hmm?" "What?" "I said I'm leaving." "I'll see you later." "She hasn't burned bridges with people." "I don't know, it's just different from things recently I've been used to." "♪ Boarded the sun ♪" "♪ to be closer to you ♪" "♪ now 15,000 miles of sky ♪" "♪ separates this life ♪" "♪ from one I knew ♪" "I had this interview today, and I was really excited about it, 'cause I want to get back into working in the fashion industry." "In New York, I was a producer for Calvin Klein." "Um, with that, you know, I was booking the talent," "I was booking the photographers, the hair and makeup, doing all the things that make the photo shoot happen." "So I'm looking for something that I will be excited and passionate about until this whole thing with the website works out." "Vivian, she's like, "when you get wut of this interview, you need to call me."" "And that's normally not just wanting to say hi." "I think she feels like I've been acting distant, and I have, because I've been so distracted." "And, you know, Francine and I had that blowout." "It's like, I've been definitely pulling away a bit." "Viv?" "The interview went really well." "I mean, the guy was really cool, like, gay Asian guy, but, like, really, like, cov-- arms covered in tattoos," " like, a cool guy." " Sounds great." "So I feel good about that, but I've been dreading this conversation." "Like, I feel like everything was fine, and then I didn't respond to your BBM, and you got this wave of anxiety over you, and now you're, like, mad." "I can't just be talking all the time." "It's just--it's not about how much attention, how attentive you are." "Okay." "When have I ever stressed you out" "I guess maybe I just feel guilty." "Maybe I just feel guilty about it." "That's--that's--that's you." "That's not me, 'cause I've never acted that way towards you." "Well, it's like-- it's like you're asking me questions that I can't give you the answers to." "It's like you want me to, like" "But when have I asked" "You're like, "Well, should I come or should I not come?"" "And it's like I told you to come, but you need to be okay with that." "But, Vivian, if you think that I, like-- it's like, I can't beg you to come out here, because I can't-- if I'm doing that, then I'm not doing" "what I said I was gonna do out here, and that's sort out my shit." "I don't get how this visit turned into, like" "It was something that we were excited about now, and you've turned it into this, like, doomsday." "Like, I--it's, like, I don't t it." "Like, why are you putting-- like, you fucking are coming." "So then just stop talking about it." "It's like I'm not gonna talk this to death." "I have been pretty patient with your bullshit." "Okay, so what is it?" "Is it that-- do you, like" "Vivian, it's like" "Everyone keeps saying that to me." "It's like, I'm not thinking it's all about what I want." "It's like it's" "And let's just leave it at that." "But then let's make this the last conversation." "I love you." "You don't have to say it back." "I know." "Bye." "♪ It's obvious you've got some nerve ♪" "♪ you're telling me you're everything ♪" "♪ I deserve ♪" "♪ with each step that I take ♪" "♪ make no mistake ♪" "♪ I make your body ache ♪" "♪ but you're so full on top ♪" "♪ oh, but it's not... ♪" "I'm about to go back, girl." "I'm so pissed with my mother." "She kill me with that shit." "♪ Bah bah bah bah bah bah ♪" "Man, what the fuck make her think that she get to decide, you know, "I don't like that"?" " 'Cause she's your mother." " Okay, you don't like it." "And most kids always do stuff to please their parents." " No, I'm that kid." " That's why." "And that's why she think, like-- and now, it's changing, so she's" "I'm not about to take dick just because you want me to." "Aah!" "Like, "Sajdah, I really don't like you eating pussy."" " [Laughs]" " Know what I'm sayin', like" "Are you gonna drive-- Bye, babe." "All right, girl." "Be good." "When you comin' back?" "You gotta move." "I gotta move?" "I gotta see" "Move here!" "Bye, Riss." "Marissa, you know, she got a chance to meet Chanel." "Like, out of all my friends," "Marissa's, like, the biggest critic, and she says, like, I should still, you know, keep my eyes open, pace myself." "Hello?" "Chanel, I just dropped Marissa off." "I'll see you in about an hour." "Wow!" "I told you you need to move closer." "[Laughs]" " All right." " All right, babe." " Bye." " Bye." "I don't care if it's three days, shit." "Three hours, fuck it." "♪ I don't aim ♪" "♪ I just point it to seek them ♪" "♪ whoa-oh oh-oh ohh ♪" "♪ I can run, I can fly ♪" "♪ it is up to my mind ♪" "♪ whoa-oh oh-oh ohh ♪" "♪ ♪" "So I decided to go with shay and Alyssa and everyone to San Francisco, and, uh, my plan is to stay with Whitney in her hotel room." "Do you want to hug my body?" "I want to hug your body really bad." "I mean, I would love to hook up with whit, because we have really amazing chemistry." " Hello!" " Hello!" "I'm surprised to see Rachel, honestly." "Like, I mean, this was completely unexpected." "I think I'm gonna go back to the hotel for a minute." "I did, but I'm just having like a couple of puffs of them." "[Overlapping chatter] I--I mean, yeah." "Can Rachel have a couple of drags before you leave?" "Yeah." " Wait, I'm confused." " What?" "Am I staying here?" "I don't know where you're staying." "I thought she was staying with you." " Okay, I mean, then it's just" " We're just staying here." "She can." "I mean, she can stay here." "She could totally crash here, right?" "All of a sudden, you look like you have no energy and you hate your life." "What happened?" "Do you feel like you've been drained by a vampire?" "Hmm?" "I'm really confused right now, because I think they were all assuming that Rachel was gonna be sleeping with me." "But last I knew, Jaq was sleeping with me, and that seems like a lot of cooks in the kitchen." "There's gotta be, like, one of those lighters in here." "You know, they're, like, long lighters." "You really look like you hate everybody." "I'm annoyed." "With?" "Just the situation." "Just, like, her." "I know that Rachel's hoping that she can pick up where she left off with Whitney." "This mine?" "And I think that she's feeling a little left in the dust and I think a little out of place." "I hear shoes." "Clink clank, chancletas." "It's me." "Baby bird!" " Hi." " Hey." "Mmm." "I love you." "Will you make me a cocktail?" "Rachel, Jaq." " Hi." " So nice to meet you." "Oh, don't shake my hand." "I had no idea Jaq was gonna be there." "I know that her and Whitney had something together, but I had no idea that they were rekindling anything." "You know, that's typical Whitney." "She always likes to have her options open." "I love your little scarfy thing and twirl." "Oh, my God." "Jaq drives a prop truck." "Is it a large truck?" "It's really big." "It's, like, 12-feet-tall." " Hey!" " A 12-foot-tall prop truck." " Hey, hey, hey." " Hey!" "Oh." " Hello." " Hi." " Hey." " How are you?" "I'm good." "How are you?" "I'm good." "Needless to say, this is awkward." "I have Rachel here, and there's Jaq." "What the hell is wrong with me?" "I don't really know." "I can't help but notice that I keep surrounding myself with all these women that I've dated or I'm dating." " Trouble." " Okay." "Are you still going to your hotel room?" "Why are you a man of few words tonight?" "Like, why do you look like the saddest person in the world, like--like, you saw a murder and now you have nothing to say?" "[Laughter]" " Bitches." " What the hell?" "This is what I'm talking about." "Why are you a zombie?" "Like, what happened?" "[Rock music]" "♪ ♪" "[Door opens]" " Hey!" " Yay!" " Oh, how are you?" " Good, good, good!" "How are you guys?" "You guys hungry?" "I can smell the pizza from here." "It's the best pizza ever." "So we got the sperm, and I think we're ready to kind of tell people, so we're inviting my cousin Timmy," "Shannon, Cori's cousin, and our friends, Kim and Yami." "And I think my sister's gonna be stopping by later." "Up until now, it's been, like, kind of talked about, but now it's--it's real." "And we're just gonna get everybody as excited as we are to have a baby." "Um, yesterday Cori and I bought sperm." "[Coughs]" "Wow, really?" "We found it." "[Clapping] Oh, my God." " Awesome." "Congratulations." " Thank you." "[Door creaks] Would you like a napkin?" " Hi!" " Aah!" " Hi, Nikki!" " This is Kacy's sister." "How are you?" "Nikki is my only true blood sister." "She is my "older" sister by about 22 months." "When we were little, my sister, all she ever wanted was a little sister who she could dress up and, like, do hair with and put makeup on." "Like, you know, I looked like a boy." "And now..." "Now that she's got Cori, you know, finally she has, you know, a little sister to kind of do that with." "We bought sperm yesterday on the Internet." "Oh, my God!" "I just bought an aerobed." "[Laughter]" "Um, what kind of sperm did you get?" "Show me a picture." "[Laughter]" "It's in the freezer." "Go check it out." "Are they strong swimmers?" "[Laughter]" "They are strong swimmers." "[Overlapping chatter]" "Careful what you get to drink." "It's not-- it's not going yet." "[Laughter]" " Is it in here?" " It's in the waffles." "Wait, you swear to God." "No, Nikki, it's not in there." "I don't know what you do with sperm." " It comes in" " You're straight!" "You should know exactly what to do with sperm." "Oh, boy." " Eww!" " Aah!" " That's my girl!" " Oh, boy." "Nikki, do you realize, every time you swallow that's $640 down the drain?" " Ohh!" " Ohh!" "Like, one shot of sperm?" " One--we bought three." " $640." "How much is it per thing of sperm?" " $640." " $640." " That's him, that's him." " That's him." " Oh!" " You have a picture?" "Ooh, wow." "[Laughter]" "She's like, "ooh, is he available?"" "Oh, my God, he's adorable." "And he only had three left, so I was like," ""let's get those," because you never know." "The weird thing is they do" "There is sperm that's cheaper." "If this guy didn't want to be contacted, he would have only been $530 a pop." " Oh." " Ohh!" "So they add on $110." "Can you imagine, though?" "110 bucks so that your kid can know where they came from and have the opportunity to, like, make sense of their life?" " Yeah." " Yeah." "And what if our kid comes in like," ""I want to know this guy." ""I like him." "I want to bring him home." "I want you guys to meet him"?" "What would you say?" " 18 years from now?" " Mm-hmm." "Um, I have no idea." "I mean, I guess." "I'd like to say thank you..." "Maybe?" "I don't know." "Send him a fruit basket" "An edible arrangement." "Hey, thanks." "Here's some chocolate-covered pineapple." "[Laughing]" "Best thing if something happened to one of us, that person would not have custody of them." "You--you know, it's gonna be you." " You're going to." " The godmother." "By the way..." "By the way, as the godmother, you're gonna have custody of our children if something happens to Cori and I." "You know, I would be happy to have that honor, for sure." " Aww!" " For sure." "Happy to have that honor." "[Laughs] That's what it's called." "Oh, my God, I'm so excited." "Nikki, you're gonna be an auntie!" "I'm gonna have a stroller, and I'm gonna push him in it-- him or her." "You think it's gonna be a him or her?" "Back then, like, it wasn't" "It wasn't a thing." "♪ The outsiders ♪" "♪ a sight ♪" "♪ the sore eyes ♪" "I'm gonna get the non-alcoholic beer right now." "Okay, girls, dinner ready in five minutes." "Yeah!" "[Cheering]" "It's my first night going out and being around people without drinking, and I don't want to do a club." "I want to do, like, a nice, intimate kind of setting with a friend who's very supportive." "Khristianne is a very good friend of mine." "She's a chef, and Khristianne has been supportive of me moving in a positive direction in my life." "Mangia, mangia." "Can I get the non-alcoholic champagne?" " Absolutely." " Thank you." " And can I have another?" " I got you covered." " Thank you." " Okay, girls, thank you for coming." " To girls." " To girls." " To women." " To girls." "Oh, my God, what was that game we played the last time?" ""Who did-- who did what?"" " "Who did who?" - "Who did who?"" ""Who did who?" [Laughs]" "No "who did who?" At this table right now!" "No "who did who?"" "Who's had a threesome with a guy and a girl?" "Trust me." "Threesome's never good." "Oh, um..." "It wasn't as fun as I had remembered most of my dinner parties." "I don't know how to be me, because me has been drunk for a long time." "How about how many people here are gold star?" "Oh, wow." "Never fucked a..." "What's a gold star?" "You haven't." "Ahh!" " Lisa!" " Lisa!" "I've never even seen one in person." "[Laughter]" "I'm just trying to keep that energy up, and everyone's getting drunk, and, you know, "let's go to beauty bar,"" "and Kelsey's, like wanting to go, and I'm trying to keep that fun Romi." "Like, "yes!" "We're gonna go to the club." "Let's do it."" "But I am dying." "How are you doing right now?" "I'm fine." "It's just..." "I have to get used to, like, keeping my energy up" " and, like, being" " Being Romi and, like..." "Yeah, and still being me and not losing, like, me just because I'm not, like, drinking, you know?" "Right." "So I'm just-- I'm gonna go to the club, and I'm gonna have fun and not let it, like, be anything, you know?" "Yeah." "[Mellow lounge music]" "♪ ♪" "Chanel and I are going on our first official date night." "Like, we've never gone on a date, and we're going out, so it should be a fun night." " You all right?" " Yes." " Don't ask me that." " What's wrong with you?" "'Cause you acting all nervous or something." "I'm..." "I'm acting more nervous 'cause you're asking me that." "No, I just wanted to see you, like, once 'cause" "Like, just us." "And then next weekend is our birthday, which means everybody's gonna be there." "Everyone seems excited to see who this girl is that has me all bubbly." "Yeah?" "It should be good." "They're gonna love me, so..." "So it's good." "And if they don't?" "I mean, that sounds like your problem, not mine." "[Laughs]" "That's not something I gotta deal with." "I'm very much like a 13-year-old boy." "Like, I just came out, so it's, like, brand-new." "I'm definitely still learning how to be with a woman." "You know, I'm scared." "So many things are-- that we have in common, like..." "You was born for me." "You know that, right?" "Oh, for real?" "How's that work?" " That's my birthday." " But I was born before you." "But God knew I was gonna come on that day." " [Laughs]" " So he went ahead and" "So honestly, I think he was granting my wish." "I think he was making you for me." " That was a wish of yours?" " Uh-huh." "[Mutters] You see how big my head is." "You better slow down." "[Laughing]" "I just always wanted to meet someone that was, like, totally into me, because, like, I fall head over heels, like, every time-- like, every time and" "Damn, I thought I was special." "[Laughs] No, seriously." "You don't have to say it." "I know you feel the same way." "At this point, Chanel is, like, damn near begging for me to ask her to be my girlfriend." "She's really feeling me, you know?" "So, um, I was just kind of prepping for it." "But, like, what I feel now," "I didn't even ow to desire before." "Like, seriously, like, it's more than I even knew to want." "I don't want you to feel like you're out there by yourself." "I don't want to feel that way, either." "You're not." "You're not out there by yourself." "I've decided I'm finally gonna ask her to be my girlfriend." "[Soft guitar music]" "What's this?" "[Giggles]" "[Laughs] [Snickers]" "But I'm askin' her old school, like," ""will you be my girlfriend?" "Check yes or no."" "Of course, she checked yes." "[Laughing] You're so cheesy." "♪ ♪" "Are you serious?" "It's so pretty." "It's so pretty." "[Laughing]" "I want to do this." "I want to do it, too." "[Up-tempo electronic music]" "♪ ♪" "My life sucks." "[Chuckles]" "It doesn't suck." "It's making me homesick, actually." "San Francisco?" "Homesick for New York?" "Yeah." "I'm already upset now because I got fuckin' left here, which is fine-- I'm happy to be with you guys," " but, like..." " Right." "You know, just even--at least say, "No, you can't come."" "I hate when people can't talk to me, you know what I'm saying?" "Well, you know whit-- that's like having an expectation that a unicorn's gonna run up into the apartment from the street." " "Hello!"" " Whitney's Whitney." "Whitney's just sort of living her life and going about her everyday Whitney things." "And I don't think that she knows that some of the things that she's doing might be pushing Rachel a little over the edge." "But there will be hot ladies tonight?" "I'm sure there will be." "Am I gonna get into trouble tonight?" "I hope so." "Rachel, do we need to watch you?" "I think we do." "And by watch you mean encourage." " Encourage me." " Yes, okay." "Fuck Whitney." "I'm gonna go out tonight and flirt with hot San Francisco chicks." "Nobody hairy, though." "I don't want hairy people." "[Laughs]" "Well, we're in San Francisco, so..." " I know." " Ohh!" "[Laughs]" "♪ Turn it up ♪" "♪ rockin' hard, we go hard every day and night ♪" "♪ hard every day and night ♪" "♪ hard every day and night ♪" "♪ listening' to this club music ♪" "♪ got you out of sight ♪" "♪ ♪" "♪ show me what you got ♪" "♪ if you want to play the way-- ♪" "Most of my friends drink, and most of my friends drink heavily." "I don't need to be there." "I'm already too old to be there." "Let the little kids come in and find their girlfriends and learn that they're gay and have fun." "♪ Bang your head to this real club music ♪" "You drunk?" " No, I'm not drunk." " Ha ha ha!" "I'm feeling good, though, yeah." "When Kelsey gets a little buzzed," "I know more than anybody." "Her eyes, the way she's speaking, the way she talks." "She's got so much shit inside of her, she'll say things she wouldn't normally say." "She'll look at me in ways that she may have not expressed to me she felt." "It's just like a train wreck." "Why can't we just have, like, a smooth night, you know?" "It's because, like, you get like, drunk or you start, like, doing something, and I, like, watch you, and then you don't want me to watch you, and then you react to it." "Can I get a red bull?" "And I kind of lost her through the night." "♪ On your way down ♪" "♪ don't think it'll be easy ♪" "♪ it's a showdown ♪ Fine." "♪ So don't believe what you're told ♪" "♪ just 'cause they say so ♪" "♪ oh, give it all your love ♪" "Whitney isn't even at the party." "As usual, she's in her own world not thinking of anybody else." "Even Jaq said, "where did Whitney go?"" "♪ What you know ♪" "♪ it's all just a show ♪" "♪ there's no pot of gold ♪" "♪ at the end of the rainbow ♪" "♪ rainbow ♪" "♪ birds fly over the rainbow ♪" "♪ but I'm locked in a cage ♪" "I am having a great time in San Francisco, but I've decided just to stay in for the night." "Like, my mind just can't get right." "Like, Rachel shooting up just when I was reconnecting with Jaq is making me overwhelmed and confused, and things are complicated." "And I don't know what I want right now." "I come from a family of addicts, and I, myself, had a history of drug problems." "And it's like you can put the bottle down, but it doesn't change your addictive personality." "Sometimes it just moves on to other things." "So it's, like, now have I, you know, supplemented my addiction to substance with my addiction to girls?" "I don't know." "What I do know is that Jaq" "She's, like, a good girl, and I don't want to, like, bring her into some shit." "♪ I want to keep away ♪" "♪ but I don't ♪" " Bye, honey." " All right." "Bye." "I'll see you next weekend." "Okay." "Bye, honey." " All right, bye." " Have a good night." "Come on, baby." "Bye, guys." "♪ ♪" "♪ I need to take this in ♪" "♪ but I can't ♪" "No, I just am in this mood." "Like, I just want to like scream right now." "I don't know why." "I'm just, like, in a really weird funk, and then, like, you getting drunk." "You're, like, swaying in there and spilling" "Babe, but I-- That's" "I know, that's you." "I'm just saying, like, you're drunk." "You drank a lot." "I can d-- I can drink a lot." "You drank a lot tonight." "Like, all the vodka there, the vodka on the way, champagne." "Can we have sex?" "Baby, oh, not right now." "I don't want to, if, like, you're drunk and I'm sober." "We never have sex..." "I know." "Ever." "I know!" "And it would be easier, like, if we were both sober and came home and, like, wanted to, you know?" "But, like, then when you're drunk and you're all tipsy" "That's not an excuse." "You don't--you just don't want to have sex." "That's not true." "You never show me that you want to have sex." "'Cause I'm in a funk." "The past month, you've been in a funk." "The past month." "You don't want me to, like, find someone else, do you?" "No." "Is that what you want to do is find someone else?" "Are you thinking about being with somebody else?" "Kels, is that what you're thinking?" "Are you gonna answer me?" "I don't know what to do." "I don't know what to do." "I want to have sex, damn it, and we're not having sex." "I hate it." "I hate it." "[Groans]" "[Crying] I hate it." "I'm sorry." "I don't want to make you cry." "Don't cry over it, babe." "I'm just so frustrated." "You know, like, I hate it." "[Sighs]" "I hate it." "I know." "I'm sorry." "I know you're, like, drunk right now, too, you know?" "Okay, I'm drunk, and you're sober." "How are we gonna do this?" "But it's like, it's all I have with you, hon." "[Sighs]" "We'll make it work." "Like, don't worry about us, like, breaking up or anything like that, you know." "Yeah, I'm a little bit tipsy right now, and I'm feeling good, and I want to fuck the shit out of you." "[Sighs]" "Down." "Come here." "I felt bad." "I felt sad." "I'm looking at my girlfriend, who, yes, is drunk, but I've been there before." "And she's feeling vulnerable, and she's feeling sad, and she's feeling like she just wants to, like, break down and cry because she doesn't feel this love from me, and that broke my heart." "I want to make love to you every day, every time I see you." "Okay." "Like, this needs to end." "How do you like having a drunk girlfriend when you're sober?" "Well, I have to take advantage of you." "♪ To feel your pulse ♪" "♪ skip a beat to regress ♪" "♪ ♪" "♪ I try to hide my distress ♪" "♪ ♪" "[Moaning]" "♪ ♪" "[Moaning]" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God!" "Oh!" "Okay, okay, okay." "Okay." "Oh, babe." "Oh, that's so good." "Yeah." "Ohh!" "[Moaning]" "Oh, baby!" "Keep going." "Oh!" "Baby." "Shit." "[Laughs]" "[Both laughing]" "It's all wet!" "Baby, I squirted." "♪ Forever ♪" "♪ forever ♪" "♪ forever ♪" "♪ I'll never love another ♪" "♪ I'll never see the end ♪" "♪ I'll never love another ♪" "♪ I'll miss you forever ♪" "♪ ♪" "Things started off pretty hot and heavy and like it used to be with Jaq and I when I first got to San Francisco." "But by the end, I think something weird shifted, and we never had time to really talk about what was going on with us." "I thought that leaving the city would make me be able to escape my problems, but it turns out, mmm, geography doesn't really cure everything." "♪ Tonight we count our blessings ♪" "What happened to you last night?" "♪ Oh, cha-a-a-nge ♪" "♪ it's a funny thing ♪" "♪ our lives ♪" "♪ and it's a beautiful surprise ♪" "♪ tonight ♪" "♪ tonight ♪" "Did you have fun last night?" " Yeah." " Yeah?" " Yeah." " Yeah?" "You got a little drunk?" "I got a little drunk." "A little bit." "Do you remember?" "Yeah, I drank a little bit too much." "[Laughs] No, you were falling over." "You were gonna go leave me." "I wasn't going to." "I was like, "I must have sex now!"" "I like to think of it as making love." "Yes, we made love." "She would like to think of it as that." "We made sweet, passionate, amazing love." "Oh, you swear." "Oh, my God." "And it was good." "It felt good." "I forget." " You forget what?" " How good it feels." "[Laughs]" "I forgot what it feels like to get off." "And it feels good." "♪ Take it easy ♪" "♪ take it easy ♪" "♪ ♪" "♪ then it hurts when we give in ♪" "♪ ♪" "♪ just a... ♪ [Gate buzzes]" "♪ Yet I don't see... ♪" "Whitney and I, we haven't seen each other in a while, and, for me, it's really weird when I started getting text messages from her." "And, um, I mean, they were serious text messages." ""I need to talk to you." "I need to know what's going on." "I need to know." "We need to talk."" "Like, "I feel really weird right now." "I really need to," you know." "And I was just like, "oh, my God."" "I didn't respond, 'cause I didn't know what to say." "So..." "How was San Francisco?" "It was fucked up and confusing." "Why?" "I just, like, feel very overwhelmed, and, like, I just..." "Like, I don't like the way that we ended things before." "Like, it's been eating at me." "I don't know, like, what exactly to do with you." "And, like, I feel like you're, like, so cold now and, like, distant." "The last time I saw you, it was like," "I walked away that night, and I was just like, "this is it." "I'm not ever doing this again."" "Like, I don't want to deal with you, and I don't want to deal with the drama that has to do with everything." "Like, I can't just have a fucking normal relationship with you." "That's all I want." "You know, that's all I wanted was to, like, be with you, and I know that we could have been so great if only you would just let me in." "But only if you would have just been honest the whole time." "Sara won't own up to her shit with Hana." "The word "apologize" does rarely exist in Sara's vocabulary." "Like, I care about you." "Like, I don't want you to be out of my life." "I don't understand what it is." "Like, you know, and the thing is, is that, like," "I never wanted to put any pressure on you 'cause I wanted you to be with me 'cause you wanted to be with me." "It just felt like that was never gonna happen." "But that's because there kept being new hang-ups." "New hang-ups because what?" "'Cause we kept going" " back and forth?" " No!" "'Cause you couldn't just fuckin' accept the fact that, like, it" "'Cause I would find new things out." "Okay, I just wish we could fucking clean the slate." "Like, no bullshit." "Like, no--nothing." "I told you, like," "I would be the best girlfriend you'd ever have, but once I get to that fucking point, that's it." "I'm just--I turn it off, and I don't exactly know how to turn it back on." "I'm not saying that I don't want to, because I do love you for all the same reasons." "It's not like you changed or..." "[Breathes deeply]" "I mean, like, if you want to be patient with me and, like, my process and, like, you know?" "I know Sara really well." "She wants to "process," which means she wants to be able to get away with hooking up with someone else?" "Like, okay, girl, I wrote this book that you're-- you're reading here." "I mean, is your process gonna involve dating other people?" "Because I need to know, based on my own process." "This is not about seeing other people." "This is about, like, my thing with you." "I just need to process, you know?" "At this point, I am tired of fighting." "I'm tired of talking about it." "I'm tired of defending things." "I want--I mean, whatever." "I can't not have you in my life in some form." "So, I mean..." "You're--you are my butt." "[Laughs]" "You have a nice butt." "I think we're mutually addicted to one another, but on the same token," "Sara and I have real emotions for one another, and I feel like I haven't closed that door 100%." "And then we're back to square one." "♪ I-I-I-I-I don't know how to ♪" "♪ I need something else ♪" "♪ 'cause I don't have the will ♪" "♪ I need you, I wa-a-a-a-a-a-a-nt you ♪" "♪ but I-I-I-I-I-I can't undo ♪"