"This is ridiculous." "We gotta stand in line for school?" "To pass through a metal detector, no less." "I mean, is that what it's come to?" "I'm telling you, Mr. Briggs, it's in my cast." "It's" " I put coins in there." "I thought I use it as a bank so my brother don't steal from me." "All right, that's enough." "Move along." "Get outta here." "I welcome this shit, Okay?" "School gettin' more violent every damn day." "Some teacher got stabbed in the ass with a compass last week." "A compass is a tool for mathematics and learning, not bloodshed." "You know I got my earring stole out my own damn locker?" " You're wearing an earring now?" " Yeah, that's what's up, man." "It was diamond-studded too." " I can't really see you in an earring." " Yeah, doesn't seem like your thing." "Look, don't focus on the earring." "Focus on the theft of my belongings." "That's what you do." "First off, are you sure they'd even let us in?" "I mean, it's a Latina gang." "Ugh." "It doesn't matter, Megan." "The Latina Rollers just wanna get their numbers up so it makes 'em more powerful." "This is a great opportunity for us." "Oh, hold up." "You guys are joining a gang now?" "I'm sorry." "Is it opposite day?" "Uh, news flash, ladies." "Gangs don't solve violence." "They perpetuate it." "And they also protect their members, which is why I'm joining." "I'll be safe, and that's all that matters." "Now, I do wanna know more about them." "Do they have a web site?" "Ugh." "Megan, you are so stupid." "Gangs are all about secrets." "You don't find out those secrets on a web site." "You have to join." "Yo, yo." "Watch out, guys." "JoJo's coming through." "Oh, damn." "What the hell happened to JoJo, man?" "He crossed some miscreants that jumped him in the hallway." "Wound up breaking his pelvis." " Roll proud, JoJo." " Come on, JoJo, you're doin' great!" " JoJo's coming through, guys!" " Shut up." "Stop looking at me." "Oh." "Does not seem to be taking it well." "It's a sad day when not even the bullies are safe." "Knife!" "We got a knife." "All right, he holdin' a blade, y'all." "Get JoJo." "Get JoJo." " Hmm." " Aw, frig." "I can't believe they stabbed Mr. Briggs in the forehead." "They said one more inch and it would have pierced his brain." "See, now, my head's tellin' me, "Yo, Joel, bring a weapon to school." "You're gonna need it to protect yourself."" "Yeah, I know." "Me too." "But is that the life we wanna lead?" "Fending off men with knives just so we can conduct our studies?" "That's no way to live." "Oh, shit." "My window's busted, dude." "Dude, you hear that?" "There's someone in here." " A prowler!" " Prowler alert." " Prowler!" "Prowler!" " Prowler!" "Prowler!" "That's it." "I'm calling 911." "Yo." "I think he's in the wall." "Aw, frick!" "Fell on my dick!" " Brian?" " What the hell are you doing here?" "I'm puttin' in a skylight up there." "What do you think?" "I'm frickin' stealing wires, idiot." "So I see you've gotten out of prison." "Would have been nice if you told your family." "Psh!" "Why don't I just tell the President of the United States while I'm at it?" "Good to see you again, Brian." "What became of your teeth?" "Poachers." "Lost 'em in the joint." "They use 'em for jewelry, weapons, sign of dominance." "That sort of thing." "Ugh." "Sounds gruesome." "Gotta cover your genitals in poison ivy just to keep 'em off you." " Oh, God." " Ugh." "You ever had the shits when you got an asshole filled with poison ivy?" "That's real pain." "Good to know." "Thank you." "Good news is, you can put that behind you, 'cause you're out now." "Eh!" "I'll be back there soon enough." "Gonna get my face tattooed like a demon before I do." "Then no one will mess with me." "Hey, you can't do that." "You get your face tattooed, it's basically giving up on society." "Why shouldn't I give up?" "I'm an ex-con." "I'm spoiled meat." "Don't say that." "You just need a fresh start is all." "And I know where you can get it." "So... you want me to hire this man as a... security guard?" "Look, Ms. Stark, Brian just wants a second chance." "And we think he'd be really good for the job." "Be good for the students to see an example of how crime doesn't pay." " He'd scare kids straight." " I'm scared of him, and he's my own brother." "Ugh!" "These goddamn things don't fit." "Brian, put your teeth back in?" "Ugh." "He's wearing our dad's dentures." "Thought it'd give him a more professional look." "As eager as I am to bring a toothless felon on to my staff..." "I'm sorry to say the position is no longer available." "Told you nobody'd want my sorry ass." "Brian, come on." "Dad needs those teeth." "So who did get the job, Ms. Stark?" "No one." "I've decided to use the money instead to build a bathroom in my office." "That way I can stay in here where it's safe." "That's a great attitude, coming from our principal." "Principal... it's a meaningless title." "Students have no regard for authority anymore." "They're bringing guns to school now." "Swapping pictures of their genitalia." "They even desecrated my automobile." "I assume it's intended to resemble a skunk, in reference to my nickname." "Yeah." "Yeah, you're probably right." "So what are we supposed to do, huh?" "Well, if I were you, I'd start bringing a weapon." "Now, if you'll excuse me, gentlemen, I need to find someone to build me a toilet." "I know a guy who can do it." "Who?" " Me." " Uh" "Before I was a convict, I was a meth-head suck-queen." "And before that, I was a grouter." "Damn good one too." "I'll build you the best damn shitter your holes ever spit into." "Hmm." "Ugh!" "I can't believe your brother works here now." "Is that even allowed?" "I don't know." "He look like a damn demon." "Yeah, don't tell him that." "It's just gonna encourage him." "Says he's just gonna make enough money to get his face tattooed, then he'll probably head back to jail." "He's given up on himself just like Stark's given up on the school." " Megan, come on." " Oh!" "Gotta go." "Danielle and I got accepted as prospects with the Latina Rollers." " You really going through with this, Megan?" " Yes." "I mean si." "Ugh, I have to learn Spanish now as part of the initiation." "Wish me luck." "Hola, muchachas." "I'm fittin' to join a gang myself." "Look at this shit." "Man, dude's sittin' over there wearing my earring like it's his." "Moms is on my ass talkin' about, "What you do with Aunt Yvette's brooch?"" "A brooch?" "I thought it was an earring." "Shit, dude, so did I. Looked like an earring." "Yvette got a small frame, man." "Bitch could sleep in a drawer." "Know what I mean?" " That's it." " Where you off to?" "Everyone else may've given up on the school, but I haven't." "Excuse me, sir." "I believe you're wearing something that belongs to my friend." "Yo, eat shit." "You, uh... might want to watch the way you talk to us." " Heh, heh, yo." "Yo, what the hell is that, boy?" " Wooden weapon." "Metal-detector friendly." "We brought them for protection... but they can also be used for aggression." "Your choice." " Hiya." " Uh." "He chose aggression." "How about y'all suck my dick?" " Don't mind if I do." " Yo" " What?" "Nice piece you got there." "Mind if I see it?" "For sho'." "Why don't you have a closer look?" "Please don't shoot him." "That's my brother!" "Everybody calm down." " Ahh-o" " Yo" "Yo, yo, yo, yo." "What you doin', dog?" "Go ahead." "Shoot." "Yo, yo, yo." "Don-don't make me drop you." " What the frick?" "What is he doing?" " He's gonna blow his brains out." "Do it." "The shit's not even loaded." "Whatever, yo." "You step to me, you steppin' to the ROP." "Royal Oaks Posse." "Oh, you're repped, huh?" "Well, guess what." "I'm repped too." "I joined them in prison." "Maybe you heard of them." " Oh, dude, he's got mad ink." " That's a vicious squirrel, man." "Yeah, Black Squirrel." "Gully gangster clique." "Upstate cell block "B," dog." "It's a white dude in the Black Squirrels?" "He gotta be harder than a mother." " Ha." "Uh, eh." "Yeah." " Throw your set up, homey." "I had a man *** in the crevasse of my ***." "Right in the ***." "So I took his ***... and I *** him until he bled." " Oh, God." " Oh, they ruined him." "And I'll do the same thing to all of you." "'Cause I'm a demon, and I'll drag you all to hell with me." "I mean what" " What do yo" " What-w-w-what" "I believe you have my friend Darius's brooch." "Yo, yo, yo." "You know me." "I-I-I'm sorry, man." "I-I didn't know." "Here." "Take it." "I-I-I thought it was an earring." "That's why I had it." "Now if anybody got words for me..." "I'll be grouting the toilet." "You'll be doing nothing of the sort." "You just lost that job." "Aw, frick." "And gained one as our new head of security." " Yeah!" "Way to go, Brian!" " Yes!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Yeah, that's my brother!" "Well, spackle me in shit and call me a rose." "Please, don't smoke inside the school." "You showed true courage against that hoodlum, Mr. Zymanski." "Your complete disregard for your personal well-being will serve you well on this job." "Yeah." "Just took an elderly Jew principal to give me a shot." "Well..." "I'm Presbyterian, but you're welcome." "Now we're here to help." " So what do you need us to do?" " Stay outta my way." "I work alone." "If you think we're gonna let you clean up this school that we love by yourself, you are crazy." "Yeah, us helping is not an option, so just frickin' deal with it." "Fine." "But we do this, we do it my way." "Your passion is inspiring." "Also, in regard to the toilet, just are you planning on finishing it?" "You want me to clean up the mess you made at this school, or you want me to install a goddamn turd catcher?" "Brian, relax." "We're all on the same team." "No, he's right to give it to me." "I'm as spineless as a jellyfish." "First things first." "When's the last time you did a full locker sweep?" "Hmm?" "Oh, that would be... never." " Jesus Christ!" " Oh, shit!" "What do you got, a death wish, lady?" "Let's give 500 shitheads a locked box where they can keep whatever they want." " I suppose you let 'em have cell phones too." " I assume that's bad." "Whew." "We got our goddamn work cut out for us." "Oh, and, fellas, one other thing." "Yeah, what?" "Thanks for believing in me and shit." "What the frick?" " Did he just say thank you?" " That is... the nicest thing he's ever said to me." "That was beautiful." "And, shoot, now I'm starting to get emotional." "Hey, dick holes, let's go." "Razors, electronic devices, suspicious liquids and gels." "They all gotta go." "Damn, it's like a prison search." "Yeah, well, that's where Brian's background in security lies." "I gotta give it up, man." "Dude got folks in line." "You know what I'm saying?" "Somebody said "excuse me" in the bathroom." "Politeness and common courtesy, those are things you're gonna have to get used to around here." "Now, uh, you wanna open that locker for me?" "W-wait a minute." "Why you gotta look in my locker?" "We all gotta make sacrifices here, Darius." "I had to give up my belt earlier." "Now I'm rolling my pants at the waist." "Shit." "I'm surprised you own a belt." "Aw, it was an electrical cord, but it held my pants up nonetheless." "What's with all the lotions?" "Seems more like a woman's locker." "You know what?" "I don't really need your commentary." "You know what I'm saying?" "Just do your shit and get out, Okay?" "I mean, this says "for ladies."" "You're taking my scrunchie?" "No, I'm taking an item that is clearly the colors of the Latina Rollers... which I still can't believe you're an associate of." "I joined to protect myself but now I don't even need it." "And now I'm stuck with these girls I have nothing in common with." "And I'm pretty sure they're talking shit about me in Spanish." " So frickin' quit alreay." " I'm not allowed." "Come on, let me slide." "I'll do something nice for you." "Oh." "Are you offering me a sexual favor?" "What?" "No, gross." "I was gonna do your homework or something." "Look, I'm not giving you the scrunchie." "You want me to keep the school safe, maggot, or not?" "!" "Gimme the goddamn scrunchie!" "Okay." "Here." "Jesus." "Huh." "Come on, Megan, vamonos." "We're gonna be late." " Oh, what did you do to your hair?" " Well, I want to fit in." "Which reminds me, we gotta go tanning after school." "Do you have the coupons to Mystic Beach?" "Buh, buh, buh." "Not so fast, ma'am." "Gonna need to take that from you." "It was awesome!" "I was calling people "ma'am" like a police officer." " We were key players in the school's makeover." " We sure were." "And, you know, I don't want to toot my own horn, but, uh, without us, that wouldn't've happened." "Now it's time to give back to the man who did the most good of all." "Yo, Brian, where you at?" "We got something for you." "Blow it out your ass!" "Nah, he, uh, hasn't lost his edge." "Look who got you new chompers." "Sort of a symbol of your rebirth as a respectable human." "Yo, shit." "Nigga, this shit got a spoon on it, homey." "That's a special feature." "You could use it for soup... maybe even gouging." "What the hell's all this?" "Gettin' rid of school contraband." "Don't worry about it." "Brian, may I ask, who is this gentleman?" "This is my friend Rollo." "He's a school supply salesman." "Yo, how much for the cell phone, B?" "Make an offer." " I'll give you 6 dollars." " Aw, go shit in your hat." "That's a goddamn intelligence phone." "What do I look like?" "You look like a punk-ass bitch fixing' to get your ass kicked." "I'll rip you" "I'm gonna go out on a limb and say I don't think Rollo is a school supply salesman." "He does have a large tattoo of a black squirrel on his arm." " Goddamn it, Brian!" "We believed in you!" " Well, that's your own damn fault." "You friggin' lied to your own brother." "What do you expect?" "That's what criminals do, idiot." " I lie to everyone." " Where the highlighters at?" "I like to highlight my shit when I'm reading Playboy." "They're right next to the computers." "You're selling the school computers too?" "Those are instruments of learning!" "Shit, yeah." "I'm selling everything." "That place is a goddamn gold mine." "You bastard son of a bitch from hell!" "You will not get away with this!" "Watch me." "Let's get out of here." "Enjoy your new teeth, Brian." "N-nagh!" "Yo, how much for them shits?" "It's a sad state of affairs when I need to rat out my own brother." "I suppose we should have seen this coming." "You know, what with the tattoos and ranting about being a demon and such." "No talking!" "Or I'll write you up for insubordination." "And wear longer skirts." "This is a school, not Bourbon Street." "Ha-ha-ha." "Oh, hello, boys." "I was just basking in the warmth of respect." "And I owe it all to that toothless vagabond you call your brother." " I'm afraid we have some bad news." " He's a criminal." "He's stealing from the school." "Is that so?" "Well, I suspected as much." "But while his methods are questionable, you can't argue with results." "The students are terrified of him." " It's marvelous." " Wait." "So you're Okay with it?" "If that's the price of having control of the school... then yes, I am." "You're just as bad as Brian!" "What's wrong with you?" "I'm drunk with power, and I'm loving it!" "Ah." "My car." "Brian fixed it up with some of his connections." " It looks groovy, Brian." " This is insane." "Stop stirring the pot or I'll expel you at once." " Expel us?" "For what?" " Doesn't matter." "I'm the principal." "I can do whatever I want." "You are hereby expelled." "Mmm!" "That felt good." "Well, this is quite a scene." "He's got Rollo working here now?" "It's like a frickin' squirrel's nest." "The man's out of control, Gary." "We created a mother-grabbing monster." "Hey, are you guys in line for the metal detector?" " What?" "No, Russ." "We're hiding in the bushes." " We got banned from school." "You guys are lucky." "It's bad in there." "Everybody's scared, and they make all kinds of rules." "They even took my friggin' glasses." "I can't see nothin'." "That new man is meaner than Mr. Briggs." "Tell me about it." "We're the ones who brought him here." "Yeah." "And we're also the ones who are gonna get rid of him, but we're gonna need your help." "All right, I'll help." "I'll do the best friggin' job I can." "Also, is this an apple?" " No, that's, like, some sort of nest." " Yeah, don't eat that, Russ." "Oh, man." "Excuse me, sir." "Can I please have a bathroom pass?" " Number 1 or number 2?" " Uh, number 2." "Oh, sorry." "Fresh out." "Looks like you're shittin' yourself today." "Well, look at that." "Got 1 left." "Make it quick." "Oh, hey, sister." "Where's the party at this weekend?" "I'm just sittin' round chillin'." " This mark gonna creep up on 22's like he know me." " Oh, shit." "Man, I stepped back." "I'm like, "I'm Avenue L, baby." "I'm Black Squirrel, Cherrystone Murderers." You know what I'm saying?" " And I know that's right, homey." " Yo, I popped a cap in that fool, right?" "Took the bitch to the crib." "Wound up with 2 shorties and a 5-year stretch." " Well, shi" " Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" " Ha ha-huh!" "Your ass crazy, boy." "A'ight, a'ight." "Stay up, partner." "Oh, yeah, man." "Keep it real, dude. 1." "What the hell was so funny?" "I don't have a damn clue." "I didn't understand a word that dude was saying." "Why aren't you friggin' answering my question, Darius?" "You friggin' asshole!" "Russ, we're over here." "Yo, did you just confuse me with a trash can?" "'Cause that's messed up." "Gary and Joel wanna talk to you." "They're sorry they were dicks before." "They need your help." "The whole freakin' school needs your help." "I can't see, goddamn it!" "Wait." "You want to start a riot?" "Yeah, they do it all the time in prison." "When the warden's rules become crippling, the prisoners rebel and a more democratic regime takes its place." "Yeah, and sometimes the prisoners get they ass beat." "I ain't tryin' to mess with Rollo, man." "That dude is crazy." "This is our only hope." "Principal Stark's been compromised." "This corruption goes all the way to the top." "Now, Megan, we're gonna need to use your gang connections." "Yeah, not gonna happen." "Rollers membership has thinned out since Brian's been in charge." "It's basically just me and Danielle now." "Wow." "That's very disappointing, as it was kind of the biggest part of our plan." "Uh... probably do it anyway though... 'cause we didn't think of anything else." "Tell 'em the plan, guys!" "Why is he tied to the fence?" "Uh, I do not know." "He requested it." "It's for my own safety." "My eyes are broken." "I will stay here with this apple, and you guys go do the friggin' plan." "Yo, i-wha" " I-is he eating a nest?" "It's not even very sweet, but I still like it." "Anyway, here's the plan." "Stark and Brian eat lunch at the same time every day." "Generally fish or some sort of soft meat." "What does that have to do with anything?" "Nothing." "Just an interesting detail." "Anyway, once they're gone, that's when we'll make our move." "You're gonna crawl into a sewer pipe?" "It's the only way inside besides the front door." " Y'all nasty." " It can't be that bad." "It's not even in use." "It's in use." "It's definitely in use." "Ugh!" "It's like the whole town's in there." "Ugh!" "Ugh." "Once inside, we barricade the door, and then we take to the PA system with a message of hope." " Uh, I thought it was a message of rebellion." " Stop interrupting me?" "Can I just tell 'em the plan?" "Don't jump down my throat about it." "I'm just trying to be thorough." "Anyway, we take to the PA system, and we dump their dirty laundry on the front steps of the school." "The most dangerous gang in this school isn't run by the students." "It's run by the administration." "And it's time to put an end to this corruption!" "Rise up, students of Maynord!" "Rise up and let them know we're not gonna take it anymore!" "And that's when everyone will stand up and come together as one against their oppressors!" "Now, everyone!" " Eh." " Nah." " Nah, I'm-I'm not feeling this." " Yeah, me neither." "Huh." "Seems quiet for a rebellion." "I hope the PA's work" "It's Okay." "We-we're safe." "The door's been reinforced." "Aaah!" " Oh, shit!" " Dude, I think your brother might actually be a demon." " He's making a good case for it." " What the hell you think you're doing?" "Exposing you for who you are!" "A criminal, a liar and a disgrace to the Zymanski name." "You can't stop me." "Nobody can!" " Kill them!" " Huh?" "I don't know." "It just felt right, so I said it." " Is it such a crazy idea?" " Ms. Stark!" " Mr. Barasch." " Beat it!" "We're in the middle of something, pal." "I'm not your pal." "I'm the superintendent of this school." " Oh, shit!" " There is a higher authority after all." "And he's come to enforce justice." "Finally!" "I hadn't heard from you in quiet a while." "I was in Florida visiting my brother." "The manatees are running." "My office has been flooded with calls from angry parents." "This is a real mess, Margaret." "What have you done?" "Uh" "She ain't done nothin'." "It's my fault." " Brian" " All of it." "Only thing she's guilty of is trusting an ex-con who couldn't be saved." "All right, here's what we're going to do." " Obviously, you're fired." " Whatever." "As for the rest of this, we'll sweep it under the rug and never speak of it again." "Someone's gotta answer for this, right?" "Quiet, young man, or I'll expel you this instant." "Jiminy Christmas." "This whole system's corrupt." "May I offer you some food?" "We have fresh halibut in the cafeteria." "Halibut?" "How did we afford that?" "Oh, that was simple." "We spent less on the student lunches." "Well, I... do have a taste for fish right now." "Yes!" "Halibut would be just fine." " Oh, and, Brian?" " Huh?" " Thank you." " Eh." "Guess that's that." " Doesn't really feel like justice." " Yeah." "I don't know what I'm supposed to take from that." "I'll tell you what you take." "The world's shit." "And you can't trust no one." "Not even yourself." "See you on the other side, little brother." " You think he's gonna get his face tattooed?" " Oh, without a doubt." "We should probably cover this hole." "Yep." "Lord knows no one else is going to."