"** [theme]" "[Gary] When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes," "I all alone beweep my outcast state." "Smile." "And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries and look upon myself and curse my fate." "wishing me like to one more rich in hope." "Featured like him, like him with friends possess'd." "Desiring this man's art and that man's scope, with what I most enjoy contented least." "Smile." "Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising." "Hap'ly I think on thee." "For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings" "That then I scorn to change my state with kings." "Shakespeare." "Sonnet 29, who wants to begin?" "This one." "You like that one?" "Ascetically, but for Michael's mother" "I don't know it implies that you know you actually have sex." "Oh, right." "I wouldn't want to mislead her." "Mmm, I got a better idea." "I'll send her this." "My sonogram." "Oh." "Is it amazing?" "Oh, it's beautiful." "See this little dot of baby here?" "That's your future." "Yeah, for 18 years." "Then it turns against me." "How's your future?" "Uh, today?" "This little tenured creep comes into my office which they've assign to him for next year and he wants to know if his lute collection will fit and he asks me for a tape measurer." " Ooo." " Yeah." "Academia?" "Please, it's just dog-eat-dog "See footnote."" "You mean the tenure committee didn't get your letter bomb, huh?" "No, it's just I mean it's eight years, and what's it add up to?" "A lot." "I mean, think about the people you reached." "I do." "That's why my number is unlisted." "Mike, do you ever think about who you are in this life?" "I mean, what kind of mark are you gonna leave behind?" "Didn't we used to talk about this in college?" "Yeah, but I mean what about now?" "There's Janey." "I'm a father." "Hey, listen, we got to get going if we're gonna to make the 8:00, guys." "You know, I'm a little tired, actually." "Actually, I'm a little tired, too." "Oh, come on, wait a minute." "We were gonna go to a movie together." "You know, like normal people." "Uh, we'll go, and then we'll meet you guys after, maybe." "Well, great, listen, call." "I'll be here, okay." "Penn turned me down today." "But you went there." "You were Phi Beta" "Summa." "You want to feel better?" "I got three." "Count them, three gallery rejections today." "For which I would like to thank the academy." "Hey, when do you start that volunteer thing?" "Oh, tomorrow." "I think it'll go okay." "Oh, sure." "You'll be great." "Oh, look." "Michael left his sonogram." "Did I ever tell you I was a mistake?" "No, you never did." "Dr. Shepherd." " Oh, hi." " I'm Susannah Hart." "Yes, I know." "I read about you in Philadelphia Magazine." "Listen, no one really calls me doctor." "It's all pompous unless you have a stethoscope." "I'm terrible sorry about this." "We're short on our budget again." "Which is nothing new and should continue very nicely under Mr. Bush cut the financial." " Excuse me." " Oh, I'm sorry." "This used to be the Montgomery headquarters, didn't it?" "How would I know?" "I worked on the campaign." "I was canvassing, stuff like that." "And he still lost." "I'm out of here." "I'm terribly sorry about all this." "Is it okay?" "Is Thursday all right?" "What about this kid?" "This Curtis kid." "Curtis came to us when he was 10 years old." " He's just been accept to Stanford early." " Now, that's great." "It's just I thought I was gonna get someone who really needed me." "This kid sounds like he's got it made." "No, not until he's on that plane and out of here he doesn't." "This is a kid with no father." "His mother dumped him with his grandmother when he was 8 years old." "He's leaving home for the first time." "He's scared." "He feels guilty." "He's halfway from who he was and who he's gonna be." "And I'll tell you what he needs." "He needs someone to help him figure that out." "Three times a week from now on till the fall." "Wait a second." "I thought I made that clear at the interview." "I told Rosie I only have once a week." "Mentor program is a minimum commitment of three days, Dr. Shepherd." "I know that." "It's just that I'm a teacher." "I have a class." "Excuse me, I really have to go." "Wait a minute." "I'm trying to tell you" "I want to contribute to this, all right?" "This isn't a governor campaign." "You don't just squeeze this in between ski trips" "Now listen." "Hold on a second." "You know nothing about me." "So before you cook up any more slick little phrases to dismiss me with, all you need to know is that I want to do this." " You need more time?" " I need more time." "Fine." "You've got more time." "Great equipment." "I beg your pardon?" "The camera, very elaborate." "You're a photographer?" "No, this is a necklace." "A large, heavy German necklace." "So great nose, huh?" "Mine?" "No, the bride." "I did it." "That little rounded tip, that's my trademark." "And it's one hell of a wedding gift." "Sure beats six pieces of flatware." "Oh, Russell." "And I'm interrupting something here?" "Uh, this is my cousin Russell." " Hi, Russell Weller." " Oh, Melissa Steadman." "How do you do?" "[pager beeps]" "Oh, it's Mrs. Schatzberg, excuse me." "Go, go, it's an emergency." "An emergency" "She's got to look young by Tuesday." "Do you do a lot of these jobs?" "Oh, sure, weddings, bar mitzvah, Cesareans, no." "Actually, it's a gift for the bride." "I'm a little strapped right now." "Tell me about it." " Yeah, I love her dress." " Yeah." "Most have cost a fortune." "Well, her father invited the hold button." "Really?" "That piece of lard?" "God, look at her." "We went to high school together." "She was my first real girlfriend." "Look, will you excuse me a minute?" " Yeah." " Okay, thanks." "You know I know you." " You do?" " Yeah." "Well, I've seen you at galleries, concerts." "You wear that jacket with the numbers on it." "Yeah, it's Japanese." "You like it?" "I didn't say that." "Personally, I think Japanese fashion is revenge for World War II." "Well, you know, I think I know you, too." "Or something about you." "What do you know about me?" "You're a painter, right?" "Is that obvious?" "No, there's some paint in your hair." "Oh, well." "So what's it like?" " What, my hair?" " Your work." "You should come see it." "Yeah?" "Well maybe I will sometime." "Friday night, I'm having party." "9495 Lombard, 5th floor, 9:00." "Okay, fine." "I'll try to make it." "We should go back to the party." "Don't want to miss the ritualistic singing of "Sunrise, Sunset."" "Ah, not my favorite song." "Oh, mine, either." "I wasn't the kind of little girl you carried." "Unless you wanted a hernia." "You were fat?" "I was fat." "You were fat?" "How fat where you?" " I was huge." " Really?" " How fat were you?" " Oh, huge." " Hi." " You're him?" "Yeah, Dr. Shepherd." "Gary." "Dr. Caldwell." "Curtis." " So how are you doing?" " Great." "And yourself?" " Great." " Great, then we're both great." "Yeah, um, listen, I wanted to really congratulate you about Stanford." "I think that's really great news." "I mean, I know the next couple of months might" "You might feel kind of weird." "Weird, how?" "Well, I just remember when I was your age" "How old are you?" "35, but, um-- when I was 17 and I was about to go to Penn," "I really wanted to get out of the house, but secretly I was pretty nervous about it." "You got over it, and here you are." "Right, so the point of it is I know how you feel." "So what we'll do is we'll meet on a regular basis." "Uh, here or at my place." "And, um, get to know each other." "Or if you have any problems." "I do." "I got one today." "Great, okay, what is it?" "I don't want to be here, and I don't need to be here." "You think you can help me with that?" "Let me ask you something" "What were your SAT scores?" "Excuse me." "Your SAT scores." "How did you do?" "751, English." "569, Math, approximately." "670, English." "730, Math, precisely." "Add them up." "I win." "So why are you hear with me?" "Because I want to be." "Why?" "Because I want to be your friend." "Oh, I see." "Can I go now?" "Not until you stop trying to tick me off, you can't." "You don't seem ticked off to me." "My guess is you're too busy trying to feel good about yourself for that." "Is that how you see it?" "Fine, okay." "You want me to call Ms. Hart and tell her I don't think this is gonna work out?" "You do that, Gare." "You just do that." "Oh, and he goes out for a pass." "And he catches it." "[cheering]" "Yes, yes." "Hi." "How are you guys doing?" "Oh, we're having this little problem." "See, I want to read Yertle The Turtle, and she's only interested in the Bloomsbury group." "How's Hope?" "She's still queasy." "Oh, well, she's pregnant." "Yeah, but she vomited, though." "She vomited?" "Oh, that's good." "Thank you for sharing that with me." "Thank you." "Yes, yes, come on." "You want to play with us?" "What do I look like, a Kennedy?" "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hut." "[cheering]" "Oh." "Oh, no." "No." "Ha!" "Stop it." "I'll do anything." "What do you want?" "Oh, oh, oh, money." " A baby." " Like a human baby?" "Oh, now, Gare, come on-- you and me." "Let's have a baby, what do you say?" "[Michael] Can I be the godfather?" "Please?" "Please?" "You don't want his baby, Melissa." "You don't know where he's been." "Hey, have my baby." "It'll have all this cute red hair." "[Michael] Come on, Ellyn." "Come on, Janey." "Come on, oh." "[Michael] ...football or are we playing football, Shepherd?" "[Michael] Ellyn, what are you doing?" "Ellyn, back off." "Get her off me." "Shepherd, go out for a pass." "Go, go, go." "**" "[Gary] * When your family's all stubby and round *" "* And the other birds in so many words *" "* Said "Get out of town" *" "[Janey babbles]" "* Of town *" "**" "It was great." "Of all my friends, she knows you." "Arr, she's my pal." "Yeah, it's kind of like she's your kid, too." "At least I always want you to think like that." "What are you trying to say, I'd make a good father?" "Yeah, sure." "But, uh" "But?" "[Janey] But." "But it's a lot of work." "You got to be committed to it." "Come here, baby." "[Janey mummers]" "So how's Melissa?" "Fine." "Is she ovulating yet?" "What are you talking about?" "[chuckles]" "Come on, Mike." "You know the casual little drop-by." "Just the guys." "What happened, you and Hope have a talk after the football game?" "Are Ward and June worried about the Beaver?" "Oh, we both knew you were kidding, right?" "Right." "But, uh" "But what if we weren't?" "What would you think of that?" "I think, and I say this out of total love for you both, that for the two of you to have a kid together it would be, uh" "[Janey mummers]" "What?" "I think it would be a lousy idea, Gary." "No, no, wait a minute." "You're the one always telling me to grow up." "Well, I know that, but" "Come on, come on." "I knew you a lot of years when you were a major jerk." "And now with Hope and Janey, you know?" "I've seen it." "The commitment has changed you." "I mean you might even be a little taller." "But I'm in a marriage." "Ah, but let us not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments." "Big Bill the Bard, Mike." "Or I could quote you." "A kid makes you a man." "It's how you know you've left your mark behind." "I said that?" "Well, words similar to that, yeah." "And unfortunately I almost believe you." "[sighs]" "Look, I just know I have to grow up because I can't keep living like this." "** [electric jazz]" "Hey, Melissa." " Hi." " Hey." " You made it." " Yeah." "Hi." "Wow, this is really some place you got here." "Yeah, well, this used to be the Fit Rite girdle factory." "Oh, Fit Rite, for the ample women." "You know my Aunt Tess used to wear one." "She was eventually institutionalized, but Fit Rite had nothing to do with it." "Hey, did Jerry get here yet?" "[Man]" " I haven't seen him yet." " Okay." "Melissa, this is Alexis, Frank." " Hi." " Donny, Bob, Peter." "Better known as Dry Clean Only, the band of tomorrow." " Yeah, all right." " You guys ready?" "Yeah, I think so." "Give us a minute." "Okay, great." "We all went to art school together." " Oh, yeah?" " We used to always to get together and play music." "So I made this-- Do you want a drink." "Yeah, great." "So I made this demo sort of as a joke, and this idiot friend of ours wants to back us with a demo." "Oh, you know if you need a photographer," "I just may happen to know someone." "Oh, hey, our people will call your people." " Great." " Here." "Thanks." "Okay, just one sec." "I got to make a phone call." "[Man] Yeah, 1, 2, 3, 4." "** [electric rock]" "Hi." "You okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine." "Listen, uh, you ought to talk to some people." "You look really great tonight." "Oh, well, you do, too." "Well, you know what they say about guys like me?" "We know how to dress." "We know how to die." "I'm sorry." "Listen, I think I need to be alone right now." "Yeah." "Uh, what happened?" "Oh, uh, Jerry, he's a friend of ours." "He was just diagnosed." "[sighs]" "Hi." "I, uh-- I just wanted to thank you." "I had a really nice time." "You're leaving?" "Yeah, well, I have to work tomorrow." "So, uh" "Look, there's a ring around the moon." "Is that good or bad?" "I never remember." "Oh, don't ask me." "I always go for the downside." "I see three nuns in a station wagon, and I go to bed for two days." "Anyway, I'll call you." "Yeah, and I'll be out." "And I'll call you back, and you'll be out." "In 10 days we'll lose the matchbooks with our numbers written inside." "You know it's true." "And I know that I don't want another missing matchbook of my life." "Melissa, I-- I hope you don't think that I-- that I was hiding something because I'm really pretty open." "I mean, my phone machine doesn't say" ""Hi, I'm gay." "I'm not in right now."" "But I" "Well, listen, when I met you, I thought," "He's cute, he's smart, and maybe." "And now?" "Well, you're still cute and smart." "I've just deleted the maybe." "Listen, what I came up here for was to tell you that I'm sorry." "About your friend." "I don't even know what to say." "It's just that I know what my friends mean to me." "Well, they know a little more as new drugs-- the FDA's approving things a lot faster." "What about you?" "Are you scared?" "I try not to be." "Yeah." "Thank you." "For what?" "For asking me that." "[clock ticking] [clock ticks faster]" "[Announcer] Here's your host, Monty Ovary." "Hello, everybody." "And welcome once again to Beat the Biological Clock." "Hey, first, let's meet our contestant." "She's from Philadelphia." "She's single, she's Jewish, and she's getting older." "About a nice warm welcome for Melissa Steadman." "[audience applauds]" "You know the rules, Melissa." "Just like life, and what is life?" "[audience] Making choices!" "All right." "But, if you make the wrong choice, you get an all-expense-paid trip for one to East Berlin" "Or how about the entire collective works of Stephen King?" "Good for those long lonely weekends." "And finally a miserable barren future where you'll wish you were dead." "[audience] Oh, no." "But, if you make the right choice, it's love, laughter, and the fulfillment of your destiny." "Are you ready to play, Melissa?" "I'm ready, Monty." "But could I say something first?" "It's that I really, really, really, hope I win." "Because I don't want to turn into another misery statistic." "And what if there is no Mr. Right?" "Do I settle for some split-level jerk just because my ovaries have a built-in obsolescence factor?" " And what if-- - [buzzer]" "Oh, I'm sorry." "That's the friendly buzzer." "You can't be depressing on network television." "[clock ticking]" "She's not here." "I need to talk to her about Curtis." "Well, talk to me." "What about him?" "Well, we may be a lousy match." "We know that." "He told us." "He thinks you're a fool." "Great." "He may be right about that." "Oh, you don't seem that bad to me." "A little eager, maybe, but" "Look, she's in court with Curtis." "Court?" "I don't know why." "She ran out of here so fast." " It's at 1801 Vine." " Okay." "Wait, you got change for the meter?" "No." "Thanks, Rosie." " You owe me one." " Yeah." "Look, Dad, his hair." "Oh, excuse me" "Powel, D101, order of protection." "Call you tell me where" "Susannah, hi." "I just wanted" "I'm sorry." "I can't talk to you right now." "Yeah, this one." "Yeah, I think I like this one." "Yeah, I like that one." "Yeah, shh." "Now, this one." "You don't like that one?" "I'm deciding." "You have a very, very interesting eye." " You hate them." " I don't hate them." "I just need time to think about them and then show them to the record company." "Why do that if you totally hate them?" "Look, would you believe me if I bought you lunch?" "Would you buy me lunch, too?" " Hey." " Hi." "Uh, your front door was open, so" "Yeah, um, Gary, this is Russell." "Russell, Gary." "Oh, Gary Shepherd." " How's it going?" " Russell Weller." "Oh, is it okay if I take a rain check on lunch?" "Oh, sure, sure." "I'll call you later." " Bye." " Bye." " See ya." " Yeah." " It was nice meeting you." " Yeah, you, too." " Take care." " All right." "Nice guy." "Yeah, he is." "Seems to really like you." "We're friends." "We're working together." "Oh." "Not very successfully, I might add." "Friends?" "Right, and we'd be the perfect couple if I only had a penis." "That's from The Wizard of Oz, right?" "How was it with that kid?" "Curtis?" "Oh, great." "I'm up for a Nobel Peace Prize." "Three baby blankets?" "Oh, yeah, I'm buying them by the gross." "Sarah Kaplan, Anne Hamilton, Jane Thompson." "I have very fertile friends." "Oh, Sarah Kaplan, that's Ellyn's friend over at City Hall?" "Right." "Is she, uh, getting married?" "No, and they shaved her head and stoned her in the village square, which she deserved because we all know that anyone who wants a kid must get married, right?" " Gary, Gary." " Hmm?" "Have you ever wrapped a package?" "Yeah." "Entering the theoretical universe here." "If I ever theoretically wanted to have a theoretical baby," "I don't think I'd get married." "I mean I don't think I have to." "I mean, look at Jessica Lange." "I'd love to." "Is she here?" "You know she and Sam Shepard, they got kids together." "I bet he doesn't support her." "Whoa, there's a minor difference." "What?" "Well, she makes a million bucks a movie." "You make 50 an hour plus all the hors d'oeurves you can eat." "I'm trying to make a point here." "Well, that's fine." "It's just who would take care of this theoretical kid?" "I would." "Alone?" "Well, hopefully, the theoretical father would participate now and then." "Who might this mythical figure be?" "I don't know." "Well, let's just say what if it was me?" "Okay, that's, uh, Sarah and..." "Uh, think we could have a baby?" "I think we could love a baby." "I'm sorry." "Here." "Put your finger there." "Really, I mean, Melissa, all we're really saying" "I know what you're saying, Hope." "Tony, Maria, you got five more minutes, and then you're going to bed, and I'm not kidding!" "Tony and Maria?" "Oh, they're obsessed with West Side Story." "Britty walks around the house with this scarf on her head all day." "Anyway." "Really, I sort of get the point." "Well, that's good because I mean after all" "We're just your friends." "And friends get concerned if they're really your friends." "Yeah, and worry." "I mean we worry" "Well, not worry exactly because that would imply that we think her having this baby with Gary is an incredibly stupid idea that we're trying to save her from." "And we don't want to imply that." "No, because we respect you." "And because" "Well, I'd like to have kid, too, someday." "But you're talking about a 20-year commitment here," "And I think I'd like to have it with some guy I could count on." "Someone not like Gary." "We love Gary." " He's adorable." " Sort of." "It's just that there are alternatives, like sperm banks." "Like how about that one in California with all the geniuses?" "Oh, great, California." "They may define genius a little differently." "I mean, what if I wind up with Neil Diamond's baby?" "Melissa, trust me." "I mean, it's hard enough having a baby." "I've been there." "I mean going into it is impossible even with a husband." " But without one, uh." " I mean, look at Nancy." "Yeah, right." "Look at Nancy." "Now wait a minute." "I don't do so badly." "I wasn't saying that, Nance." " I just" " Guys, guys." "We're talking about Melissa here, right?" " Right." " Right." "Right, and I'd like to talk about me too for a couple of minutes." "So if you'd stop ganging up on me." "I mean I haven't decided anything yet." "It's just an idea." "I'm sorry I asked." "I mean look you two already have kids." "I don't." "I can't live your lives." "They're already taken." "A husband, a mortgage, a dog." "That's your universe." "I've got to invent mine." "Melissa, I mean, give us some credit here." "Nobody's judging you." "It's 1989." "Right, it's just" "Mel." "Where you going?" "I want to go hear them sing "Somewhere."" "That always gets to me." "* There's a place for us * [together] * Somewhere a place for us *" "All right, let me check it out and I'll give you a call back." "Thanks." " Hi." " Hi." " A little early." " Yeah, I don't need much time." "I just really want you to know that I'm very sorry." "About what?" "That this didn't work out." "You talking about you and Curtis?" "Well, yeah." "I figure if I'd handled it a little better, he wouldn't have gotten into trouble." "It wasn't Curtis." "It was his brother Jackie." "He's in a gang." "He was arrested for robbery." "Doesn't have anything to do with you." "Oh, well, I guess that makes me feel a little better." "It's just I don't think this is gonna work." " You and Curtis?" " Yeah, me and Curtis." "I see." "So I'm really sorry." "I mean, I know how much you care about this kid." "Who I might add is a real pain in the butt." "Curtis, isn't gonna let just anyone close to him." "He has to know he can count on us." "Whoever that is." "Well, I understand that." "It's just I don't think it's me." "Maybe you're right." "[Russell] You mean this?" "[Melissa] I mean this." "So come on." "Have some of this moo shu and level with me." "All right, look, before I do any leveling," "I got to ask you." "Why are you asking me?" "Well, you've been honest with me about you, right?" "And you're new in my life, so you're objective." "So that makes you the perfect person to ask." "So what do you think?" "What the hell." "Go for it." "Tell me the truth." "I don't know, Melissa." "I met Gary for two seconds." "Well, you can still form an impression." "Okay, look, I thought he was-- um, he seem Nordic." "I don't" " Amiable." "But it's a big jump from that to whether I think you should make a baby with him." "Forget it, listen." " Nordic?" " All right, look, it's just that this is big stuff what you're talking about." "Wanting a kid." "I want one, too." "You think I don't think about this?" "And you say you and Gary are really close?" "We are." "And you're mature adults and you can make your own decisions." " That's right." " Even stupid ones." "So you think it's stupid?" " What about the kid?" " What about the kid?" "We'd love it." "He'd be a good father, you know?" "I think I'd be a really good mother." "I have so much to give, Russell." "I don't know where to put it all." "When I look at the marriages around me." "I mean one's-- One's not bad." "The other's Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, only she's thin." "What you mean is that you can really love this kid." "Yeah." "Okay." "So you want to tear down the structure of society as we know it." "No." "Just move a wall a little." "Okay, go for it." " Hi." " Hi." "Hey, you're soaking." "Yeah, I know." "It's pouring out there." " Yeah." " Thanks." "When are you gonna get a haircut?" "You look like a bum." "Thanks, Ma." "I've got some-- I've got some wine." "Oh, I think I'm gonna stick to Alka-Seltzer." "My stomach's been acting kind of weird." "Yeah, mine, too." "Here give me that wine." "Candles." "Boy, it looks like a church in here." "Well, the power has been flickering." "You know, from the storm." "Oh, yeah." "Okay, this meeting is now called to order." "Subject" " Procreation." "Question" " Is this something we can really think about?" "I don't know." "I mean I keep thinking why isn't something we can think about?" "Married people, they think about it." "Is it any less of a big deal just because you're married?" "And what is being married?" "I mean I have a place to live." "I have a life." "I have food." "I have money to buy a crib." "What?" "Nothing." "Well, what do you think?" "Well-- [laughs]" "I don't-- I get really bogged down with the stupid stuff." "You know like weekends?" "It's like I have this routine, right?" "I buy the Sunday paper on Saturday night." "I read the classifieds to see what schnauzers are going for." "I have this routine." "And would my weekends be full of kid stuff now?" "Which I know." "I know is, like, the most narcissistic thought in the history of Western civilization." "And I couldn't say it to anybody else, but you." "But I don't know." "I mean what do you think?" "Well, maybe I'm fooling myself." "I mean, a kid in this loft down here?" "By the time it's 3, it's going to be a crack dealer." "And what about my schedule?" "How do you say to a baby "Let's have lunch next week"?" "I know, and I'm selfish, right?" "And vain and the victim of whatever syndrome is on this week's best seller list." "Finding schools worries me." "When I get the flu and there's nobody else to help me." "Oh, I can help." "But you want your weekends." "[sighs]" "No, we shouldn't do this." "No, damn it." "I'm stopping it." "I'm stopping it right now." "You know, I mean, forget about the loft." "I can always move, right?" "And if I get the flu and you're not there to help, so I'll get a sitter or I'll call my mother." "I'll call your mother." "I mean, I'm not helpless, you know?" "And you're not helpless." "And if I think having a kid is going to take away my freedom or you think having a kid is gonna take away your freedom" "Then I'm not looking at what my life is really like right now." "What?" "If you had the flu right now," "I'd be here like that." "[snaps]" "You know that, don't you?" "Huh?" "I know that." "What?" "We already spend the holidays together." "You know, Christmas and Thanksgiving." "Well, we'll just add a few more to the list." "You know, like its first steps." "First tooth day." "Its first haircut." "First day at school." "And when it plays a lima bean in the school play." "We'll be there." "We'll be there." "What an amazing thing to know." "[knocking]" "Store's closed." "Come back Monday." "Oh, wait a minute." "Wait a minute." "Come on in." "Come on in." "I was just kidding." "Uh, you want some coffee or some tea?" " I think I got some tea here." " Nothing." "Great, coffee for me." "Nothing for you." "Even though I like to drink alone." "Hmm, it's a painting by Bruegel." "It's Icarus." "You know the story?" "Yeah, he wanted to fly." "Right, and he built these wax wings and flew higher and higher until he almost made it to the sun, but" "Splash." "Right." "I got a book on Bruegel here somewhere." "You came looking for me." "Yeah, I did." "Why?" "Uh, because I thought you were in trouble." "I don't get in trouble." "Yeah, but I thought you were." "And I thought maybe I had something to with it." "You?" "Why would you have anything to do with it?" "I don't know." "It's a problem of mine." "I take responsibility for everything." "How's your brother, Curtis?" " You got any brothers?" " No." "Sisters?" "One." "What's her name?" "How's your brother?" "Is he okay?" "I can take care of Jackie." "I'm not suggesting you can't." "Well, I can." "I look after my family." "Who looks after you?" " I do." " So what are you doing here?" "I'm not." "I'm gone." "Fine, go." "It's not fair!" "What's not fair?" "Life, politics, what?" "You." "You know everything about me." "I don't know nothing about you." "So what, you want to know about me?" "Fine." "I'm a teacher for eight years." "Right here in this room." "That's who I am." "Only they don't think so now." "Not anymore." "Which I can handle." "It's all I know, but I can handle that." "Because it's good I'm going." "Because I don't belong here anymore." "Only I don't have any idea where I'm going." "And if I can just get out, you know?" "If can just make up my mind to do it." "See the problem with growing up, Curtis, is it seems you have to choose something to leave behind." "I'm sorry, man." "I mean, what do you care, right?" "What?" "You were supposed to help me out?" "Yeah." "I hate it when white people do that." "Can I have some coffee?" "Sure." "You like cream?" "Sugar." "[knocking at the door]" "It's open." "[door opens]" " Hi." " Hi." "I tried to call, but I got your machine." "You know I leave it on while I'm working." "Oh, me, too." "My recent maturity break through." "Next thing I know, I'll forgive my parents." "You are working, right?" "No, it's okay." "It's okay." "Uh, I brought the finished proofs." "Oh, great." "You've been out of town?" "I called a few times, but maybe your machine is not working." "No, my-- my machine is fine." "I got a wonderful machine." "Oh." "I, uh" "And I know you called." "I just" "I just didn't pick up." "Because I, uh-- I got to tell you something, Melissa." "You got someone else for the band pictures." "No, it's you, okay." "I want you." "Well, you it's a deal." "You got me." "Do I?" "Yeah, sure why do you ask?" "Because I lied to you." "You lied to me?" "What about being gay?" "I mean, isn't it usually the other way around?" "No, when you told me about Gary." "I lied to you about how I felt." "Why?" "Because I" "Because meeting somebody like you doesn't happen that often." "And when it does, it's like-- it's like you agree on everything." "You" " You get all each other's jokes." "You like each other's sunglasses, and you want that feeling to last forever." "And it can't... because...because there's always that..." "[chuckles] that moment, like when you asked me about Gary, and I thought that if I told you what I felt" "That what?" "That you'd lose me?" "[sighs]" "I don't know." "[chuckles]" "Maybe it's me." "Maybe I'm..." "Maybe I'm just used to lying." "I've lied from 12 to 24." "And I don't want to do it anymore." "Especially not to my friends." "I want to always tell you the truth." "So tell me now." "Okay." "Um..." "It's the..." "It's the future." "Melissa, you-- you can't let it scare you... or make your life a hedge against it." "And I" " I felt that you wanting to have a baby with Gary was about that somehow, and..." "Look." "I got no right telling you this, I know, but I'm going to because it's the truth... for me." "You gotta..." "You gotta make the future your friend." "You gotta sit back and see where it leads you." "And I" " God, that's scary." "[chuckles]" "I know." "It scares me." "Well...how do you-- How do you learn to do that?" "I don't know." "I'm still learning." "But I..." "I think it's got something to do with loving yourself." "And then the future just... it just...just comes." "You know?" "Like..." "Like what?" "[sighs]" "Russell...uh, my whole life" "I've sat back and waited for-- for the future to come to me." "And it came." "It just wasn't the right one." "[sighs]" "Gary and I made love the other night." "It just kinda happened." "I" " I don't" "Maybe out of that I'll get a future I want." "I don't know." "But..." "Look, you can call it irresponsible." "Everyone else does." "But it's myirresponsibility." "You know?" "No one else's." "You know what I mean?" "Yeah, I think I do." "[soft chuckle] You don't have to agree with me, Russell." "You just have to be my friend." "I am." "[Russell chuckles]" "Hi." "How you doin'?" "Hi." "Those for me?" "They're beautiful." "So what do we do?" "I think we have to talk, Gar." "I do, too." "I, uh..." "I don't want you to take this even... even remotely personally." "Okay?" "Yeah?" "It's like... [sighs]" "I don't even know how to say this, but..." "Look, you want me to try?" "Oh, sure." "Um..." "Ever" " Ever since I've met you... it's like, um..." "I had this feeling that-- that, you know... that in your eyes," "I wasn't poor Uncle Gary with missing pieces... but that somehow..." "I felt that you saw me whole." "And..." "And, you know, whenever I... lost that feeling, all I had to do was come to you and I could feel that way again." "And" " And that's-- that's what's made me love you." "Does any of this make any sense?" "Does it make any sense?" "Well, poor Aunt Melissa." "No, it doesn't make any sense." "Gary, come on." "I'd have believed everything about me I help all my friends make jokes about." "You know?" "But...you were always... always...that whisper in my-- my ear that said, "I know it's not true."" "[soft chuckle]" "[Gary chuckles]" "Aren't" " Aren't we... dodging one small little issue here?" "You mean what if I'm pregnant?" "Yeah." "I got my period." "It was early." "I guess all the excitement," "I don't know, threw me off schedule or something." "How do you feel about that?" "Good." "Yeah." "How about you?" "Are" " Are you... you know...disappointed?" "[sighs]" "I think we already did it." "I think that... together, we brought up... two kids." "And.." "loved them like... like no one else could have." "And now what we have to do is... kiss them goodbye... and let them make their own way in the world." "That's the way to do it, huh?" "Skip right through the braces and the acne, and... send them on their way, huh?" "There's just one thing I need to know." "No matter what happens to me... that I can count on you?" "I was gonna ask you the very same question." "Well?" "Well?" "Closed-Captioned By J.R. Media Services, Inc." "Burbank, CA" "* And dance by the light of the moon *"