"[jazzy music]" "♪♪ [bell ringing]" " Attention, dimwits!" "And the winner of the annual Dimmsdale Person of the Year Award is..." "Timmy Turner!" " Really?" " Psych!" "It's Chloe Carmichael!" "Get real, Turner!" "Darn!" "I thought it would be me!" " You're not even a person!" "You're an eraser!" " Erasers rule!" "No, wait, that's rulers." " Turner, tell your school supplies to put a sock in it!" "Anyhoo, here to present the award to Chloe as the Mayor of Dimmsdale!" "Psych!" "[goat bleats]" "It's actually the Mayor's curious live-in companion," "Chompy the Goat!" " Thank you, Mr. Crocker and Mr. Goat." "I'm honored, but all I did was a few good deeds." "Anyone here could have won this award." " Get real, lady friend!" "None of these other stooges are sash-worthy." "Your presence in this class is the one thing that keeps me from crossing the line and becoming pure evil." " I thought you were already pure evil." " No, no, I'm just phoning it in." "[grunts] Give me that sash!" "Gah!" "I got your goat, goat!" "See what I did there?" "Gah!" "I'm not paying for this." "[bell ringing]" " Oh, dear Chloe, you have a little bit of a rash." " I get rashes because I'm allergic to peaches." "Still, I love rolling in peaches." "Life's funny that way." " Chloe, you should see Nurse Quack." "She makes duck sounds and pecks at bread crumbs, but she can get you out of gym." " Oh, I don't have time!" "I'm Person of the Year!" "People are counting on me!" "I have to hug feral cats at the shelter, help old people cross the street, teach clowns to be funny, not scary, 'cause their makeup can be off-putting to the children, feed the ravenous hyenas that lurk on the outskirts of town," "and do it all during lunch break, so no nurse!" "Ah!" "[growling]" "♪ [horns honking] all:" "Thank you, Chloe." "[circus music]" "♪♪ [crying]" "[crying] [laughing]" " Ha ha!" "[growling] [cat hisses] [cat purring] [growling] [cats purring] [jazzy music]" " Help, Chloe!" " I saw the signal, Mr. Turner." "What is it today?" " Chloe, I bought this nuclear submarine form the Russians, and it's gone kaputin!" "Also, can you tell me why this sub is flashing this sign that says, "pasta nose"?" " That says "opasnost"!" "It's Russian for "danger"!" " That's a shame." "I really wanted to try nose pasta." " You're having a meltdown!" " No, no, I'm just a little disappointed." "A hot bath and some dark chocolate and I'll be fine." "[suspenseful music] [device beeps and buzzes] [triumphant music]" " Good deeds done!" "Itchy, itchy, itchy, itchy!" "Time for Nurse Quack!" "[screams]" " Quack!" " If I didn't know any better," "I'd say someone was riding a bike up the stairs." "But what kind of lunatic would do that?" " I went to Nurse Quack!" " What did she say?" " She said my rash is from stress!" "Then she said, "quack, quack,"" "and laid an egg." "I think she's really a duck, which kind of stresses me out!" " You know what I do when I'm stressed out?" "Roll in peaches." "Man, I'm itchy!" " I'm stressed that I have a stress rash, which is stressing me out more, which is making my rash worse, which is stressing me out more, which is... [air horn blares]" " Chill out, stressy-mick-stresserton." "It's time for me to share some wisdom with you." " You have wisdom?" "You've been holding back." "I want the wisdom." "Give me the wisdom!" " I'm gonna school you in the art of slacking off." " He is the master." "He would have been on the cover of "Slacker Magazine"" "if he'd bothered to show up for the picture." " Chloe, it's time for you to stop saving the world, start stuffing your face with snacks, and join me in a game of "Smack-a-Mole."" " I am not playing that mind rot." " Then scratch on, girlfriend." " Chloe, your rash is spreading." "You look like a strawberry with hair." " Okay, how do I play?" " Well, the name "Smack-a-Mole" says it all." "There's a guy who grows moles on his face and then you smack them off!" " Oh, dear, that guys should really see a dermatologist." " Just play!" " Oh!" "I got one!" "And another one!" "This is kind of fun!" "Take that, moles!" "And that and this and that!" "Hey, what's the high score on this game?" "I want to be the best." "The best ever!" "I am so winning!" "And so incredibly itchy!" "[screams] [air horn blares]" " No offense, Chloe, but worst slacker ever!" " Help me." " There's only one way to fix your problem:" "you got to take the slacker way out and wish to be a slacker." " To be honest, wishing to be a slacker kind of stresses me... okay, here it goes." "I wish to be the biggest slacker ever!" "Dude, so chill." " Wassup, slacka?" " S'uuuup?" "Heh." " Hey, Chloe." "You ready for schoo... what?" "[slow jazzy music]" "Whoa, Chloe!" "Looks like a photo shoot for the next cover of "Slacker Magazine."" " Chloe is a total slacker, but at least her rash is gone!" " [grunts]" " I think that was a "bacon" grunt." " [grunts]" " That was just a "grunt" grunt." " So you need a few minutes to get ready for school?" " [grunts]" " That was an "I am never, ever, ever going back to school," "I'm out, drops mic" grunt, followed by a "juice-box" grunt." " Okay, whatevs." "So where's your homework?" "I need to copy it." " [grunts]" " She said, "Ha, like I did my homework." "LOL."" " Okay, well, I'm not LOL-ing." "I need that homework to keep up my D average!" " [grunts]" " Ooh!" "I don't feel comfortable repeating that one, Chloe." "That is some pretty salty language." " [groans] [bell ringing]" " Ah, the daily parade of dullards, dopes, and dimwits." "Where's my Chloe?" "My little sparkle of hope that keeps me from going full-metal cuckoo!" " FYI:" "Chloe's never coming back to school." "[dramatic music]" " Eeh!" "Gah!" "No Chloe?" "That's the last straw!" "Really!" "I'm out of straws!" "And it's super hard for me to drink out of a cup with my weird-shaped mouth." "This takes the cake." "Really, I had some cake and now it's gone!" "I am at the end of my rope!" "I could have sworn I had more rope than this!" "Gah!" "Chloe!" "[eerie music] [screaming]" "♪" " [screams]" "It's a hunchback of Dimmsdale!" " Aah!" "[grunting] That was anti-climactic!" "[straining]" "Gah!" "Who locked this?" " Well, things can't get much freakier than that." " Chet Ubetcha with breaking news." "Things are about to get much freakier!" "[screaming]" "Scary clowns are chasing children!" "[screaming] [growling]" "In related news, a pack of ravenous hyenas are now chasing the scary clowns who are still chasing the children!" " Okay, now things really can't get much freakier." " Nose pasta!" "Move, silly old people!" "I have a class-5 Russian submarine that's about to blow!" " And this just in." "A pack of angry, un-hugged feral cats has gone wild and turned into a whirling cat-nado!" "Dimmsdale is in total chaos!" "Who's responsible?" " Chloe!" "all:" "Chloe!" " Chloe!" "Ooh!" "What do you know?" "The school has a bell tower." "[bell ringing]" " Chloe!" "Chloe, you know all those good deeds you used to do that you don't do anymore?" "You need to do them again!" " Chloe, without you, the clowns are scary, the hyenas are hungry, the old people are stranded," "Timmy's dad is about to blow up the world, and the shelter cats have formed a cat-nado!" " Chloe, you have to un-wish your slacker wish, and go back to being the nutsy, stressed-out, do-gooder you used to be!" " [grunts]" " I believe that was a "you deal with it, so I can take a nap" grunt." " Wait a minute!" "I'm itchy, and I'm getting a rash!" "Chloe didn't get a rash from being stressed out." "She got it from this sash, which is covered in goat fleas from Chompy." "She's got a sash rash!" " Dimmsdale needs you, Chloe." "Un-wish your wish!" " [grunts]" " That counts!" "[cats yowling] [screaming]" " Forget it, Chloe!" "That cat-nado is even too big for a nutsy, stressed-out, do-gooder like you to stop!" "Wanda!" "Cosmo!" "I wish the cat-nado was gone!" " Good thought." "Bad execution." " I'm so not a cat person!" " So that happened." "Nice knowing you, Chloe." " I'm not Person of the Year for nothing, Timmy!" "I'm going in!" "[screams and grunts]" "Hug-hug, pet-pet, good kitty, nice kitty... calm down." " [screams] [cats meowing and purring] [growling]" "[upbeat music]" "♪ all:" "Thank you." "[beeping] [chimes and beeping stops]" " Yay, Chloe!" "You saved Dimmsdale from total destruction." "On a sad note, I never got to try nose pasta." "[laughs] Ew!" "Little nose-shaped macaronis!" "That's just wrong!" " [growling]" " It's okay, Mr. Crocker." "I'm back to my old self." "You don't have to be hideous anymore." " [screams] Hello." " Still kinda hideous." " Whoopee!" "Chloe is back and I found a free steak in a pile of cat fur!" "Best day ever!" "Ah!" "Why?" " You know, Chloe, you inspired me." "I'm gonna get off my butt and show up for the cover shoot of "Slacker Magazine."" "[camera shutter clicks] [hyenas growling] - [screaming]" "I am so not a hyena person!" " Nose pasta, weird!"