"SAINT JOHN, THE BEHEADED" "Enough!" "Silence!" "Is this a way to behave?" "Let the accused speak!" "Silence!" "Keep it down or I'll clear the court!" "Defendant, have you nothing else to say?" " Yes, your honor." "I have some odds and ends." " Cobbler!" " I rephrase!" "I'm not a cobbler!" "I'm a shoe psychological technician!" "I'm a professor on the subject!" " Professor!" " Of bull!" " Quiet!" "Silence!" "And you, Agostino Miciacio, don't make any digressions!" "Digres.. - ..sions!" " sions!" " Sit down!" " Thank you." "Remove your hat!" " Sir.." " And sit down!" " Thank you." "Enough of this!" "Is this a way a defendant behaves?" "Clerk, read the insults attributed to the accused." "Oh, yes, yes!" "Hear them once again!" "Read it!" ""Courtyard animals, thieves, scoundrels, excommunicated," "wretches, jackasses, jail birds!"" "Defendant, you shouldn't rejoice!" " Re..?" "Rejoice!" " All right, I obey, I won't recant!" "Why have you uttered those insults?" " I'll explain." " Resume." "I haven't even started!" " Resume!" " I resume." "I am an intimate and devoted friend of Saint John the Beheaded." " Only facts!" "These are facts!" "I always lit in front of his image, a lamp of oil." "Oil, I say!" " We're not interested in oil!" "Maybe not you, but me it does!" "'Cause one of these.." "one of these here, every day, every night sucks it off!" "That is to say, your honor, the oil." "Be specific, who is this "someone"?" "Eccoilconquibus." "A tenant!" "Somebody from the courtyard!" "Silence!" "That's why the insults." "A proverb says: " Who resents, has the wet coal."" "That is the tail's straw.. the straw's tail .. the tale of two cities.." "Silence!" "Silence!" "Your honor, make them silent!" "Right, silence!" "It's you who should be silent!" "Honestly!" "Sit down!" "Let's hear the accusers." "Mr. Lanzetti, how many people do you represent?" "11 and all offended in their blood, their honor, their reputation, their religion.." "and even in the family table!" "Forgive my emotion, your honor." "Come forward, my dears, come forward!" "Teodoro De Cupis, administrator of the building." "Mrs. Amelia De Canna, tenant." "Don Pietro Ballatore, tenant." "Nannina Leonardi.." "A tenant too?" " Yes, your honor." "Let's hear the witnesses." "Yes, your honor, I swear it!" "Say the name of Agostino Miciacio, and they'll respond, "That nut!"" "I've been a tenant there for 50 years and I've never seen such a thing." "Things you won't believe, your honor!" "The courtyard is often filled with buskers!" "I don't where I am anymore!" "I am a lover of music!" "And I protect the buskers.." "because they are often misunderstood great artists." "Also, I dabble myself." "Enough!" "Quiet!" "He's a great artist!" " And our teacher!" "Do you hear them?" "Silence!" "The other witnesses, come forward!" "In the courtyard there is no more peace!" "He's crazy, I say!" "But he'll wind up sending us to the loony bin instead!" "If he's not crazy, no one is!" "Even his wife can't stand him, they're always fighting." "Just ask his wife, poor lady!" "Holy words!" "Truly blessed words!" "When will this trial end?" "When will it?" "Calm down, donna Concetta, everything will be fine." "I hope they condemn him for life so I don't have to see him again!" "If they give him compensation for the insults, he is saved." "What is this compensation?" " That means they have to pay money." "Raffaele, twit, you don't pay anything!" "The compensation for insults would be when somebody says.." "is when you call me an idiot and I call you the same, we're equal." "That's the compensation for insults!" " That's the compensation." " Exactly!" "But who'll call Don Peppino Esposito an idiot?" " Me." "You?" " Not me." " Quiet, the defense lawyer is speaking." "The defense lawyer!" " Yes, the defense lawyer!" "These are just words that fly out, jump out, dissolve and vanish." "Verba volant." "Insults are not words, illustrious colleage!" "They are actual crimes!" "We shall see!" " Counselor, resume!" " I resume." "I want to demonstrate that even this wasn't a case of simple words.." "but an actual crime, as my illustrious colleague said," "I proclaim the irresponsibility of Agostino Miciacio!" "All the witnesses agree:" "He's not normal." "He's not mentally sane." "He's a paranoid narcissist." "Look at him, Gentlemen of the court!" "Look at his appearance!" "His face is asymmetrical and irregular!" "Is this not the face of someone suffering from a mental infirmity?" "The left side: regular, normal, common." "The right side: irregular, abnormal, out of the ordinary." "All the evidence that's been presented, show this fluctuation between the two:" "Right and left, healthy and sick, serious and humorous, between reason and unreason, between the rational and irrational, between Scylla and Charybdis!" "What a speaker!" "Donna Concetta, our Agostino will be found innocent!" "Then I'll talk with the lawyer!" " Calm down, they'll discharge him." "Don Agostino deserves it." " Who are you?" "Orazio, don't you know Orazio?" "He's been lighting your courtyard for about a month now." " Dear me!" "Pleased to meet you." " I always light yours first." "I have my own lamp pole to worry about!" "They're reading the sentence!" " Let's go hear." ""The accused Agostino Miciacio.."" "".. is acquitted on the grounds of mental infirmity."" "Your honor, one can see how intelligent you are!" "Oh, plaintiffs!" "Now you strut your stuff!" "But just wait till I get you home!" "I'll be waiting at home." "We'll settle the score!" "Get out!" "Everybody out!" "I'm in charge here!" " Should've been sent to jail!" "Yeah, with the guy who said he came to see you for the starched shirts!" "Just look what gentlemen have to put up with from a porter like you!" "And just look what a porter has to put up with from gentlemen like you!" "We can't keep going on with this hell!" "Shame on you!" "Me?" "Shame on you!" "Shame on you instead!" "You make the grocer and baker go back and forth without paying the bill!" "That's not true at all!" " Long live Master Agostino!" "He's insane!" "Porter!" "Clear the yard or I'll call the police and have you put in an asylum!" "I'm a free citizen!" "Your rage can't put me in jail!" "There, go back to work!" "Master Agostino, be calm." "I'll take care of it." "I got it!" "What are you doing up there?" "You look like a cucumber, get down!" " But.." " Get down!" "Why, does this have to happen to me?" " Mom, what happened?" "I'm afraid." "What happened?" "Your father happened:" "our desperation, our ruin, our death!" "Porter!" "Master Agostino!" "Oh, there you are." "Just a few words: you're fired!" "I give you one week's notice!" "For what reason?" "For ongoing reasons: disturbing the public peace, breaking every regulation, and especially for vilifying these peaceful tenants." "You are the Cavaliere De Cupis?" " So what?" "You know that I am." "The building manager?" " Of course." "And I'm fired?" " Of course." "Out of the blue?" " Yes, I gave you a week." "A week?" " A week!" " To who?" " To you!" "Don't you understand?" " Not very." "I understood half, I semi-understood." "Who did you fire?" " Well.. ah.. um.. yes.. yes.. you." "It wasn't me, but the tenants." "They said that you were a porter with a mental infirmity.. they said." "But not you?" " Not at all!" "In.. in short, you must understand that my duty is regrettable but necessary." "Don't fear, don't worry, I accept the week." "Other destinies await me!" "And tell all the tenants, I abandon them to their fate with joy!" "Yucky!" "Thank you." " You're welcome." "So long!" "Dear, St. John, a new era begins!" "Good day." "I'm sorry you couldn't make it to the trial." "It was a magnificent victory!" "Magnificent!" "They wanted to put me in jail!" "All of them enemies!" "All of them enemies!" "And Agostino alone against the whole court." "They sucked it all up!" "They sucked!" "And you?" "Not a word!" "Ah, but you're too nice.." "of course, you're a saint!" "Now, I understand why you haven't given me that blessing." "Because no oil, no blessing." "You're right." "Rascals!" "Swindlers!" "Cause of all my bad weather." "Fine!" "People of this courtyard!" "Housers that house within these houses!" "Starting today, it is forbidden for anybody to pray here." "This is not a saint for all of the tenants!" "It's a private saint!" "A personal saint!" "Understood?" "Need I say more?" "All right." "Concetta!" "Concetta!" "Concetta, I say!" "Here I am, Dad, what do you want?" " Silence!" "I do the questions!" "What's your name?" "My name, you know, is Serafina." "Well, then!" "I have entreated, called the nominative of Concetta, so it's manifest and obvious, that I'm not looking for you, but your mother." "Concetta!" "Go now!" "OK." " Concetta!" " Here I am." "Concetta's here!" "What do you want?" "Why are you screeching?" "Always shouting so all can hear you!" "I'm here!" "What's the matter?" "What is it?" "You don't speak!" "Why won't you tell me?" "Fine!" " What's up?" "All right!" "If you let me speak, I'll explain!" "See this!" "Most humble, most unworthy and gossipy consort of mine, there's no more oil!" "St. John's oil is missing!" "How do you respond?" "What do you want?" "Should I've guarded the oil like a soldier?" "You're responsible for all household thefts." "Therefore, fetch some more oil." "Hurry!" " There's no more, so I have to get it?" "I'm fed up with your abuse!" "I can't take anymore!" "They should've given you life!" "I wish I had broken my leg than ever have met you!" " Me, too!" "Ruin of my house!" "Ruin of my life!" "Criminal madman!" "You're sick!" "But, I'll fix you!" "I'll fix you!" "My St. John!" "My dear St. John, you see how they treat your most devoted servant?" "Did I ask you, perhaps for a building?" "No." "To win the races?" "No The jackpot?" "No." "Then what?" "What did I ask you for?" "A trifle, a bagatelle, a bauble, a nothing:" "Make my wife's tongue fall off." "Miss Serafina!" "Miss Serafina!" "Who is it?" "Ah, Orazio." "What do you want?" "Nothing.." "I wanted.." "to wish you a good evening." "OK, thanks." "Good evening." "Consort!" " Huh?" " What's to eat tonight?" "Beans!" " Always beans!" "Always beans!" "You know I can't eat that stuff anymore!" " Oh, well." "I'll go to a restaurant." "I'm feeling like pizza." " Go, do what you want!" "Let's hope you choke on the pizza!" "Shoo, shoo!" " Shoo, shoo!" " Janx!" "Master Agostino!" " Who is it?" "Ah, Mr. Street Lighter." "Master Agostino, I must speak to you." " Make it snappy." "What is it?" "To be honest, it's Don Peppino who want to speak to you." " Don Peppino!" "I would like to talk too." " You're talking, my son." "And without Don Peppino, how can I?" " Can't we talk without him?" " No." " OK." "It's about something very important." " Business?" " You'll see." "Well, if it's business, I receive from 11:65 to 12 at the restaurant." "AKA the pizzeria of the "Mezza Capa"." " The pizzeria.." "If you want me, I'll be there!" "Auf wiedersehen!" "Yes, sir." "Serafina!" "Serafina!" "The pizza." " Thank you." "So.." "So, here is the program made by Don Raffaele for the big feast in honor.." "of St. John the Beheaded." ""At eight.. "" ""Agostino Miciacio lays down the crown before our saint."" "With the sound of fireworks." ""At nine, a great symphonic concert in the presence of the saint."" "I'll start off with a nice waltz." " And I.." " No, no." "You're erroneous." "If you need a classical piece, then use a lovely march by Rossini." "Giuseppe Rossini and St. John the Beheaded, a magnificent pair!" " OK." "Agostino, we're here." "Don Peppino's here!" "I'll be there in a sec!" "He's the guappo." " We're friends." "Isn't it better we go?" " Why, what are you afraid of?" " What if he says no?" "No one says no to Don Peppino." "Excuse me, I have to take care of business." " Go, right ahead." "Business comes before everything!" "Excuse me." " Go ahead!" "No worries!" "Handsome Don Peppino!" " Good evening!" " Good evening!" "What's new?" "What's new?" " Just a word." " Let's sit down." "After you, please!" " No need for ceremony." " Heaven forbid!" "Let's sit." "Help yourself, would you like a piece?" " I'm good but I'll have some, thanks." "And you?" " I'm good too." "Well then.." "what is this about?" "I ask you for the hand of your daughter.." "what's her name?" " Serafina." " Right." "The hand of your daughter, Serafina for my friend and buddy, Orazio." "A trifle!" " And then you want beautiful grandkids from the finest stock?" "There's your man!" "Soul of a dove!" " Who?" " Him!" "You won't find any better." "You can take that from me!" "I don't doubt it." "Two celeries!" " OK!" "Here you go." " Finally!" "The oil, is it of the.." " The best quality." "Wine?" " Just two glasses." "Celery, eh?" " In oil!" "I can overlook almost all, but the oil must be good because I love my oil." "You have the same tastes as St. John the Beheaded." "If I don't put the best oil in the lamp of St. John.. young man, your hat.." "He puts on a long face and won't do anything." "You're right!" "Master Agostino, would you like us to wait?" " No, thanks." "I'm with friends!" "So long!" " Getting back to this.." "That's great, let's get back to it." "So!" " Excuse me, Don Orazio, notwithstanding.." "would you take the mother too?" "We'll take who?" " The mother of my daughter, my wife." "She would go with them, live with the groom." " He's willing." "Yes, naturally she'll live with us." "I'll take her!" "Yes?" " I'll take her!" " Great!" "Then, it's done!" " It's done!" "It's done!" " No kidding?" "What is it?" "My daughter doesn't have a dowry." " I don't mind." "Seriously, there isn't any." " I don't care!" "She has nothing at all!" " I'd marry her without a shirt!" " No." "She's entitled to the shirt, what's right can't be denied?" " You're right!" "Is it done?" " Very done!" "He's taking the mother!" " Fine!" "Agostino!" "We understand each other?" "Is your word given?" " The word of a king!" "When do we talk to the mom?" " Or the girl?" " No need to." "I'm the dad, the mom and the daughter." "In my house, I'm in charge!" "Let's speak clearly:" "I wouldn't want that your mental infirmity.." "No, you're talking to the sane side!" "Sane side, insane side." "You know me well, right?" "I won't endure an affront from anyone." "I have your word then?" " The word of a king!" " Very well!" "He's taking the mother!" "Master Agostino." "Already working?" "Are you an early riser?" " I'm an early riser." "Master Agostino?" " What is it?" "Forgive me.." "if I ask you for something." "I hope it's not about money." "Because I'll explode, I'm very touchy." "No, no, no." "I wanted to ask you.." "if you spoke with Serafina yet?" " What?" "She's still asleep in dreamland." "This kind of thing, my son, takes tact." "It takes tact!" "OK, don't get mad." " Don't make me angry!" " Easy, take it easy!" "Can I ask you another thing?" " Go ahead." " You won't get mad?" " Why should I?" "Well, I would like to ask you, if I can call you "Dad."" "Of course you can." " Yeah?" " Indeed, I request it." "It's necessary." "But only after the engagement is official." "Not before." "Come, come!" "Yes, after." "And will you call me by name?" " Sure, I will." "And if I deserve it, will you cuff me?" " Cuffs, kicks, anything you want!" "Anything you want." " Thanks in advance." "You should treat me like your own son." " Who?" " Me." "Uh.. thank you, good night, and good work, Dad.. excuse me.." "Only for this once." "Then afterwards, right..?" "Later.." "later.." "Good day and good work, Dad." " Orazio!" " What do you wish?" "Thank you, Dad." "Orazio!" " What do you wish?" "Thanks, Dad." " Extinguish the street lamps!" " Yes!" "# Grows and matures the grain, grows youth, they grow up slowly, slowly, like an upturned mustache!" "Love grows like this if you feed it well," "It grows like a beautiful flower, more and more each day." "Tirolella, tirolella, and you'll grow up too." "When you are twenty, you'll take a wife, to make bigger dad's family." "He who seeks finds, but you can find a panther." "But if you do.. beeh, you will be a sheep." "It goes round and round, Rosa sighs and Nino goes away." "Don't be picky, just stay with her hand in hand." "When you are twenty, you'll take a wife," "With the flesh, there's vice, but marriage is nice, it'll raise you up. #" "Good, really good, Agostino." "I have to say, you set an example!" "Fired, but dutiful in your work." " Sure, but shouldn't I be?" "You're a noble soul, these people are your enemies, yet you pick up their trash!" "Dumb!" " You're right!" "But I'll fix that immediately." "I'll fix it now!" "What are you doing?" "What are you up to?" "I almost broke my leg!" "What have you done?" " It's everywhere!" "Now's the time for revenge!" " Revenge!" "If you want a clean courtyard, everyone will have pick up their own garbage!" "Now, I'll have to clean it!" " I forbid you!" " You forbid!" "Porter!" "Porter!" " Here, we're over here." "Porter, listen, if anybody asks for me, I'm not here." "Yes, I know." "But you know that bailiffs, if nobody's home, will force the door." "Before the Law.." " What's this about the Law?" "Think about doing your own job better!" " All right." "This courtyard has become truly a pigsty!" "Sir!" " Clean it up!" " It's time for revenge!" "Sorry, Sir, we were just about to clean." "Don't worry, we're cleaning now." "Luckily, we'll soon be rid of you!" " Be patient, excuse.." " Crazy stuff!" "Be patient.." " Come children, don't take example from him." "So sorry, sir!" "So sorry!" "Do you see how we look?" " No matter!" ""Verba volant", as the lawyer said!" "What a life!" "What a life!" " It'll only last a little bit more." "Don't worry, you'll go away with your daughter and son-in-law." " Son-in-law!" "Clean your ears, deaf." "Your son-in-law." "Serafina is "compromised" in a pact." "What's this?" " Compromised.. promised to." "It's commonly called: betrothed." "Compromised, betrothed to whom?" " To one that controls the light." "One that can make the night day and replaces the sun!" "Poor fool, I'm leaving." "You can entertain yourself with this nonsense!" "Nonsense!" "I speak true!" "She's betrothed to Orazio, the city street lighter!" "Orazio?" "You marry him!" "Betrothed?" "Who gave consent for that?" "I did!" "I'm the paternal father!" " And I'm the maternal mother!" "Nobody commands my daughter, but me!" " You rave!" " No, you rave!" " You rave!" "Only I command here!" " Ruin!" "Ruin of my daughter!" "Get out of this house!" "Calm, Agostino!" "Calm, Concetta!" " Imbecile!" "Thoughtless!" " Peace!" "Peace!" "Reckless fool!" " Calm!" " You can't escape from me!" "I'll kill you!" "What's going on?" " One can't live in this pandemonium!" "Calm down!" "Calm down!" " Useless man!" "Useless man!" "Now I got you!" " Donna Concetta, don't make a scene!" "Donna Concetta, don't make a scene, for heaven's sake!" " Where did he go?" "Where is he hiding?" "Get out of my way!" "Where is he?" "Where is he?" "Ah, there you are!" "Donna Concetta, I beg you!" " Let me be, Don Raffaele!" "Let me go!" "Enough!" "Enough with this scandal or I'll call the police!" "You're right, Cavaliere!" "I told you this is a public courtyard!" "I'm not part of it, I'm only trying to make peace!" " So sorry, Sir!" "Excuse me!" "That's still enough!" "For the remaining four days you're here," "I forbid you to come out of the porter's room and come into the courtyard." "Sorry, be patient, we won't do it again!" "See what I have to endure?" "Woe is me!" "You'll pay for this!" "How you'll pay!" "My poor daughter!" "Poor daughter!" "Master Agostino!" "Agostino!" "Where are you?" "Where are you hiding?" "Ah!" "Who is it?" "Where is she?" "I'll bite her." "Where is she?" "You're only compromising yourself and compromising others!" "Compromising my foot!" "Today is the day." "Forget it!" "I'm going, I have to work!" "And you do the same!" "Where is she?" "I'll bite her!" "Where is she?" "I'll bite her!" "Agostino!" "Master Agostino!" "How's it going?" " Uhh.. not bad.." "But, with what?" "With what?" "With your wife, Concetta!" " Not bad." "Not bad at all." "You surely gave her the good news about the engagement?" " Me?" "I told her, and how!" "I told her!" "Everything is fine then?" " Fine." "Very fine." "Everything in order?" " Of course." "Great, Master Agostino, I'm pleased." "This makes me very happy." " Me too." "Goodbye, Master Agostino." " Goodbye." "Agostino!" " Who is it?" "Did the money order come?" " No, it didn't!" "Thanks, anyway." " You're welcome." "# Grows and matures the grain, grows youth, they grow up slowly, slowly, like an upturned mustache!" "Dirondella, dirondà." "Yu!" "When you are twenty, you'll take a wife, #" "Master Agostino!" "Master Agostino!" "Can you do me the courtesy not to sing?" "Why, am I out of tune?" " No, not that." "I must study and it's distracting me." "If it'll make you happy, I won't sing out loud but on the inside." "Thank you, Master Agostino." " Don't mention it." "Dad, Mom told me you have betrothed me." "Is it true?" "Amazing!" "You're mother is actually right for once!" "Yes, I have "compromised"." "With Orazio the lamplighter?" "Fine, let me to tell you this:" "That will never happen!" "Never!" "Never!" " What?" "You dare challenge my decisions?" "I am your father and I exercise my parental authority!" "So you see, I'm the authority over you!" "I'm not challenging anything, but I never want to see Orazio!" "I say, Serafina, you'll do as I say!" "What I do is for your good!" "As well for mine, since your mom will live with you." " Never!" "Tell that idiot!" "Enough!" "Get out!" "Rather, go back inside!" "# When you are twenty, you'll take a wife, to make bigger dad's family. #" "Master Agostino!" "Master Agostino!" "What did I ask you before?" "What?" "Asked what before?" " Not to sing." "You promised me before so I could study." "Right, I forgot!" "Fine then, I won't sing!" "Thank you." "I won't sing!" "I won't sing!" "A free professional who is in the courtyard with his nerves all wound up.." "while doing his private chores, is not allowed to sing!" "He is not allowed to give open vent for his nerves!" "We're in a public courtyard and we can't sing!" "I won't sing!" "I won't sing!" "Master Agostino!" "Sing!" "Sing if you want!" "I was wrong to ask an oaf like you!" "I'm an oaf?" "You're a jerk!" " Oaf!" "Ten times over an oaf!" "Jerk!" "Ten times over a jerk!" "Indeed, the jerkiest of the jerks!" "Superjerk!" "Here: # When you are twenty, you'll take a wife," "Whenyouaretwenty, you'll take a wife, #" "Bravo, Master Agostino, congratulations!" "Good luck!" "Congratulations!" "Nice!" "Nice!" "Serafina." " Giorgio!" "Heavens, if they see you?" "Can't I ask for the mail?" " Yes." "Miss Serafina, is there any mail for me?" " No, no mail, Mr. Giorgio." "You can now call me lawyer." " Really?" " Yes!" "The exams went very well." " What joy.." "Mr. Lawyer!" "Go now." " No one's watching us now." " You don't know my dad." " Yes, I do!" "Especially now, he thinks only of the lamplighter." "Lord!" "Hear that music?" "Go away and don't let them see you." "See you tomorrow on the terrace?" " Yes, tomorrow." "Do you love me?" " Yes, but go now." "Go!" "Go!" "St. John, all the tenants have closed their shutters.." "as a sign of hostility towards me." "But the people are with us!" "People, I allow you to line up to pay tribute." "First the women and children." "Master Agostino, the money order?" "Thanks anyway." "What do you think I should do?" " Simple, escape." "With who?" " Who else?" "With me!" "That, never!" " Then.." "Orazio." "Escape where?" " Where?" "You're coming with me." "That must be enough, because there's no other way." "I swear, you'll be my wife!" "My dear sir.." "I am very sensitive and I shouldn't be doing this type of work." "I speak with the shoes, I know everything." "Promissory notes, upcoming deadlines." " Unfortunately, you're right." "When will they be ready?" " Hopefully, by Saturday." "I urge you.. because if it rains.." "you understand?" "I do get it." "Goodbye." " Goodbye." "And you sweetie?" " My mom's shoes." " Who's you mom?" " Mom." " Oh, yeah." "Yes, your mother." "I was distracted." "Here." " How much?" " 2 lire." "2 lire?" "Are you crazy?" "Who is crazy?" " A couple of heel taps for 2 lire?" "Oh, right, I forgot!" "You have a mental infirmity." "If you want, take a penny, otherwise you're on your own." "You wait here." "Master Agostino, I'm here." " Handsome Don Peppino!" "How are you?" "What do you wish?" " I want an official presentation." "What presentation?" "What presentation?" "Between Orazio and your daughter for the engagement." "Oh!" "Of course!" "Tomorrow!" "The day after tomorrow!" "Saturday!" "Next week!" "We see that things are taking too long." "Agostino, be more precise." "I will." " I don't want anyone to take me for a ride!" " What ride?" "Then we agree, let's fix a date:" "tomorrow morning at ten, OK?" " OK." "We're agreed." "I wouldn't want.. you understand.." "I wouldn't want any surprises." " Surprises?" "How?" "Modestly, I don't want to brag, but my word is the word.." " The word of a king!" "See, Master Agostino, I am a sheep, a lamb." "Hear that little lamb?" "But if I get angry, I see red." "Agostino, look, look behind you." " What?" " You see that picture?" "But you know him?" "I'll make you become like St. John the Beheaded." "He was a saint, I'm not worthy." "Worthy or not, I'll have your head on a plate." "Am I clear?" " All right." "All right." " Goodbye." "A button from his waistcoat and a piece of cloth." "This is what will bring that oil sucker to light!" "Ladies!" "Concetta!" "Serafina!" "Serafina!" "Serafina!" "Lady of Mount Carmel!" "Serafina!" "Where are you?" "Serafina!" "Serafina!" " Why are you shouting so?" "Serafina isn't here!" " Isn't here?" "What'll we do?" "They're coming!" "Madame!" "Where's my daughter?" " She's fled." "Fled?" " I checked the closet: empty!" "On the pillow there was this letter." "I can't read, but it's her handwriting and she's gone!" "Give it here!" "Let me see." " You can't read either!" "I can't read, but I can guess it." " What guess!" "Give it to me!" "A mother's eye is better." "Good lord, my daughter was so nervous!" "Look, she wrote with a trembling hand!" "I don't understand.." " Give it to me!" "The dad's eye is better than the mom's!" "Horrible." "Ah, this is an "a"." " "a"." " That's an "a"." "And then?" " Then there's a word." "We need to go to Don Raffaele." " Right!" "All the neighborhood will know!" "These are family matters, private matters." "We must read it." "We don't know how to." " Then what?" "He's a friend, I trust him!" " I'm coming too!" "Are you sure Raffaele knows how to read?" "You're always saying poppycock!" "Raffaele can read and write." "Raffaele!" "Raffaele!" " What is it?" "Ah, if you're here to fight, I'm definitely not here!" "We've a letter here." " We want to know what it says." "Understood." "Gennarino!" "Gennarino!" " Yes." " Keep lathering the gentleman until I come back." "Who's the letter from?" " Serafina." " At least it seems." "Let's look at the signature." "Yes, you guessed right, it's from Serafina." "If she lives with you, why does she write?" " She's fled!" "She's gone!" "Let me read it, this is very serious." ""Dearest parents, Dad and Mom. "" ""Dad and Mom" is superfluous, because she already wrote "parents"." "Parents are something else!" " Of course!" "I actually am her father!" ""When you read this, I'll be gone."" " It's true!" "She's fled!" "She's gone!" ""I fled with a young lawyer whom I love and who promised to marry me."" ""I'll telegraph you from the first train stop."" "Forgive me and bless me." "Your loving daughter, Serafina."" "You see!" "This is all your fault!" " My fault?" "It's your fault!" "One moment, there's a post scriptum." " A what?" " A post scriptum!" "What does that mean?" " That she wrote it at the post office." " No!" "It's a post script." " Oh, a conscript!" " Yeah, a corporal!" " Shut up!" "Read it. - "Please forgive me once more." "I swear I'll never do it again."" "How many times does she want to do it?" "I'm here." "Am I late?" " No." "Very good." "How elegant!" "Do I make a good impression?" "Is it good?" " Excellent." "And the flowers?" " We'll get them as we pass." "Good." "Then, let's hurry, OK?" " OK." "One, two, three." "Four of Swords: suffering." "One, two, three." "Two of Swords: suffering." "One, two, three." "Knave of Clubs: suffering." "One, two, three." "Queen of Cups.." " Suffering!" "No!" "The Queen of Cups is Donna Concetta!" "The queen is me." " Dishwasher!" " Cobbler!" "Silence!" "Don't influence the cards!" "I am a shoe technician!" " All right!" "All right!" "This spade here is Serafina." " How beautiful she looks!" " Home.. not home.." "Serafina ran away!" " Donna Filomena, we already know that!" "Shut up!" " I'll speak whenever I want." "Donna Concetta, I say it again:" "don't influence the cards!" "Then shut him up." " Go on." " Where did she flee to?" " Serafina.." "Serafina had some great sorrows." "My daughter!" "She had great sorrows!" "It's your fault!" "Your fault!" "It says so!" "It's your fault." "You're the maternal mother and should've looked after her!" "Don Peppino, I'm really excited." "I know how you feel, but you are lucky." "Serafina is a beautiful girl." "It's all thanks to you." " All right!" "Forget it, let's go!" "Donna Filomena, now I'd like to know where to find Serafina!" "Now let's see." "There is.." "the Five of Pentacles." "Can you also find out who's sucking up St. John's oil?" "That oil!" "That's all you think about!" " I think of my daughter and the oil!" "Quiet!" "Calm down!" "Don Peppino, I'm very nervous." " You're with me, no need to be nervous!" "But if he were to.." " Stop that!" "Just smile!" "Come on!" "Good morning!" "Don Agostino, we're here!" "I'm pleased to see Donna Concetta." "I don't have time now to waste on you or Orazio!" "We won't be able to do anything here." "Come upstairs with me." "You too, Raffaele." "Better go upstairs, we need to focus." "We need to concentrate." "Excuse me." "I'm coming too." " No!" "Not you." "You stay here with them." "Let's go." "Master Agostino, so then?" "What's going on?" " What should be going on?" "Nothing." "Trifles!" " You know why we're here, right?" "Come here to me." "Don't you want to?" "Are you afraid?" "Afraid!" "Please, heavens forbid!" "On the contrary, I come to you with joy!" "Handsome Don Peppino, how are you?" "I'm fine and you?" "Master Agostino, what is it?" "Is there any impediment?" "Mercy me!" "Just trifles." "If I didn't say trifles, there'd be no trifles, but there are trifles.." "as I said a priora!" "The girl went out.. trifles!" "She went out?" " Yes, but for just a teeny weeny bit." "For a little bit, she'll be back soon." "Have patience, wait." "She went out." "I should resent this indelicacy.." "Huh?" " Let me talk." "But I'll overlook it." "Yes, let's overlook it!" " We shall wait." "You see, I was right!" "Murderer!" "She fled because her home life was hell!" "Concetta, come!" "Very interesting stuff!" "Agostino, don't worry, we're on it!" "Serafina ran away!" " Ran away!" "Say it's not so!" "Say it's not so!" "Say it's not so!" " It's not so!" "But it's so." " It's true?" "You heard, Orazio?" "She fled!" " She fled?" "And the flowers?" "They'll be used for someone else." "You're to blame and will have to deal with me!" "I'd told what I would do." "You know the end that awaits you, I have no mercy, you know!" "I know!" "I know!" "I know!" "Like him." "Help yourself." "All right!" "Hold me back, Orazio, I'm starting to see red!" "Don't compromise yourself, let's wait." " What for?" "Let's wait until tomorrow." "Until tomorrow in this position?" " Head down!" " Yes, sir." " OK." "OK, we'll wait till tomorrow, but I'm only doing this for you." "Head up!" "Tomorrow at ten." "I'll smash to the minute, to the second!" "I'll smash all!" "Head down!" "Tomorrow, don't speak, not a word!" "You're too noble a man!" "Head up!" "Tomorrow the girl must be here or woe to you!" "Head down!" "Stay seated!" "There!" "What's going on?" " Master Agostino!" "I'll see tomorrow, Ma'am." "Let's go." "Keep seated!" "Head down!" "What are you doing?" "Idiot!" "Tragedy in the house and he's still joking!" "Are you hurt?" "Did they do anything?" "Get up!" "Move!" " Off with the hands!" " Do you know what the cards said?" "Serafina is not far away." " Very near!" " Where is she?" " You must look for her!" "Move, hurry!" "Are you the not the dad?" "Am I not the mom?" "Is she not my daughter?" "I'm going!" " Hurry!" "If you don't bring her home, don't come back!" "Go!" "Run!" "Fly!" "Let's go!" "But where am I going?" " Hurry!" "Wherever you want, but find Serafina!" "You are the guilty one and you have to fix this!" "Here!" "Not like that, like this." " Whatever." "Are you armed?" " No." "I always have to think of everything!" "What can I give you?" "Take this." " Where am I going?" " Find her and bring her here!" "Go!" "Hurry!" "Go!" "Excuse me.." " Money order!" "No!" "Honestly!" "Come on, Agostino, don't get discouraged!" "Be a man!" "Be a man!" "I'd like to see you in my place!" "We'd see how fast you'd "be a man, be a man"." "I've always helped you, I acted." " But you never finished anything." "As you wish." "It's not the last word." " Words, words!" "Time is flying!" "Mastro Peppe, can you do these razors?" "Sure, but first I must finish this for Don Peppino." "But what does Don Peppino need with that big knife?" "My razors take precedence!" "Master Agostino!" "Hey, be a man!" "What man, man!" " Let's go!" "Courage!" "Agostino, I don't recognize you anymore!" "Everything has a solution!" "Except death." " What's with this death!" "Agostino!" "Agostino!" " What is it?" "Another letter of Serafina!" " What does it say?" " Let me see." "Look, there's something else:" "not money but some papers!" "This is a ticket to Montebello Siculo:" "Via Villa San Giovanni Messina." "Where's Montebello Siculo?" " In Lombardy." " No, in Piedmont." "Exactly, I know." " Is this it?" "Let's read the letter." ""Dear parents, father and mother" The same error as last time!" "OK, OK, read it!" " Shut up." " No, you shut up!" "Shut up!" "Quiet!" "Quiet!" "OK, you read." " Read." ""I continue to Sicily.." See?" "She's in Sicily!" " In Sicily." " Exactly." ""My dear Giorgio is bringing me to his grandparents to celebrate.. "" ""our marriage.."" " Marriage!" "".. thence. "" "But who is this Mr. Thence?" " The father in law!" ""I'm sending you the tickets for the trip and a 1000 lire..!"" ""for traveling expenses." "Come right away, so we can get married."" ""We embrace you and ask for your blessing." "Serafina and Giorgio. "" "1000 lire!" "1000 lire, my daughter!" "Where are the 1000 lire?" "A moment. 1000 lire!" "This is what's on the money order. - 1000 lire!" "The price of guilt!" "I won't take it." " Are you crazy!" "Orazio and Don Peppino, what'll I do?" " Who cares about them!" "I'm leaving!" "I'm going to my daughter's wedding!" " I'm in absentio and dissident!" "Be calm!" "You're in deep trouble!" "Take advantage of this!" "I'm going!" "I fly!" "Starting right now!" " Concetta!" "Concetta!" "It's better to lower the veil while traveling." "Keep lowering it, so you won't be seen." "Look who's talking." "You look like a puppet with clothes." "Where are you going?" "Give me your arm!" "We have to go arm in arm down the street." "Understand?" " You're a fool." "I'm not going arm in arm with you dressed like that!" "Instead, I'll walk ahead and you go behind." "Behind, I said!" "Come here now!" "You don't leave a lady alone in the street!" "Here are five dozen." " Very good." "Would you like another dozen?" " Why not?" "It'll be a half dozen of dozens!" "Thank you." " Another dozen oysters, please." "Do you think we'll find Serafina this time?" "Heaven forbid if we don't." "You know like the Revolution in '48, I'll make this happen!" "Hurry up!" "Hurry up!" "Quick!" "The midday train departs at 12 sharp." "Here I am." "Here I am." "Hurry up or we miss the train." " I forgot Romualdo." "Why did you want to bring him?" "The whole family goes!" " All right." " Give me that." "Hurry up." "Come on!" "March!" "Forward!" "Don Peppino, look!" "They're getting away!" " Yes." " Now, I'll unleash my fury!" " Don Peppino!" "Master Agostino!" "Run!" "Master Agostino!" "Don Raffaele, you know me." " Of course, you're Don Peppino, our Don Peppino." "So then.." "Don Raffaele?" " Don Peppino?" "Don Raffaele." " Don Peppino." " Don Raffaele!" " Don Peppino!" "I know you and respect you." " No, that's not true." " Why?" "Then why are you mocking me?" " I mock you?" "You can't say that!" "But you know where to find Agostino, his wife.." "and that goody-goody daughter." "I, really.." " You know." " I don't." " Yes!" " Yes." "Then you'll tell Don Peppino Esposito where they are, right?" "Don Raffaele, I want to hear you sing." "I don't know how to sing." " I can make you sing without music." "Come with me." "Hurry up, Providenza, they may be here at anytime!" " Huh?" "I've only two hands, but it's almost ready." "Maria and Rosolia, where are they?" " They're cutting the lasagna." "Everything's taken care of." "We can have the marriage here." "The mayor was thrilled." "But haven't they arrived yet?" "Do you think they've missed the train?" " No, they would've telegraphed." "Of course, we all know a professor would've sent a telegram." "By the way.. so I don't make a mistake.." "a professor of what?" "Of history, right?" " Yes." " History and geography." "Masters, here they are!" "They arrived, they come!" "Let them come in and rest upstairs!" " No, let's receive them here." "Go on!" "My future in-laws." " Very honored." " Very honored." "Please, Professor, have a seat." "He's talking to you." "To me?" "Agostino Miciacio, legitimate and putative father of my daughter Serafina." "I am his legitimate wife, very pleased to make your lovely acquaintance." "Don't stand on patrimony." " I have to present myself!" " No, you don't!" " Yes!" "Dad, Mom!" " Come to us." "Please." "Make yourself at home." " Rosolia, take the suitcases." "Never!" "Back!" "I'm only here only to transport my daughter, Serafina, who you detain here!" "Wherewithal, I reconduct her to the domicile of her birth." "You talk tough, Professor, you need to be patient, we're simple country folk." "Giorgio then will explain to us what you said." " Yes, I'll explain." "Professor, don't stand with suitcases in your hand." "Madam, sit down." "Rosolia, the suitcases!" " I won't let go!" "Obey me!" " Yes, sir" " I'm a dissident, I dissist!" "Dad, what are you doing?" " Come on, Professor." "I insist!" "I said that I dissist!" "But.. but.. but this is force!" "All right, but not Romualdo!" " Who is Romualdo?" "Who is Romualdo?" "The blackbird of the family." "Indeed.. seeing that.." "you have used.." "force on me.." "allow me." "What a beautiful hat." "Really magnificent!" "Around here we don't see marvels like this." "Of course, in the city.." "Of course, it's quite different, especially for the nobility." "At home I've half a dozen more of the same." "They cost so, you can't imagine how much they cost!" "But we airistocrats don't mind." " Yeah, yeah." "Let's put it away, and then at the table." " Yes." "Watch the feathers!" "You know, I'm left-handed." "How silly!" "One more time." "There you go." "Dear Romualdo, here you'll be fine!" "The air here is good?" " Very good!" " Thank goodness!" "Oh.., by the way.." "who are you?" " What?" "I'm the grandfather of Giorgio that's marrying your Serafina." "Marry my daughter Serafina?" " Yeah." "I dissist!" "I came to oppose, I dissist!" "Professor, you need to be patient.." " We're simple country folk!" "I know!" "We'll talk about this later." "Let's go to the table." "The lasagna is ready." "Lasagna?" " With sauce." "Then there's a kid in the oven." " With potatoes?" " And onions." "Some Sicilian style pork meatballs." " No, no, I'm not hungry!" "We also killed four beautiful chickens." "Beautiful?" " Like this!" "Four?" " Four." "No, I'm not hungry!" " Do you have a stomach ache?" " No, I'm a dissident." "Are you happy?" " Giorgio," "I am so grateful to you." "I can't explain it." "I wish you could see everything that is inside me." "What are you saying, Serafina?" "I love you." "Grateful for what?" "You're so good and your grandparents too." "You were right when you told me about them." "And.." "it seems like a dream, Giorgio." " It is not a dream, tomorrow you'll be my wife." "Ma'am!" " Eh?" " Master Vincenzo has brought the shoes." " Hello, Ma'am." "This isn't the time, we're about to eat." " Give me one moment." "Just look at that class!" "I don't want to brag, but you won't find shoes like these in Sicily or anywhere else on the continent." "These shoes could be in a jewelry store." "We have to go eat, Master Vincenzo." "I'll try them on tomorrow." "Providenza, pay him." "How much do I owe you?" "Well.. by law, these shoes in the city would be worth about 40 or 50 lire." "But we're in the country and you're old customers." "Give me 28 lire and no more, but don't tell anybody!" "How much?" " 28 lire." " 28 lire?" "Allow me a moment." "May I?" "What shoes are they?" " From the showroom." "Liar!" "These are shoes for a fair!" "For a fair?" " For a fair!" "They're worth.." "seven lire.. six and a half the most." "Six and fifty?" " Yeah." " But what do you know?" " What do I know?" "What do I know!" "Oh, my.. what do I know!" "Give me that." "In primis.." "et antimonio" "A refined shoe is made of kid.." "or a very young calf." "And what's that made of?" " What's that made of?" "This is the mother of the calf!" "Commonly known as cow." "What a teacher!" "Secondis!" "This dye is made with vitriol." " No." " Yes!" "Yes, vitriol." "In fact, as soon a gentleman presses this finger there, the "singertip", he gets dirty, it blackens him." "See." "Terzis!" "Terzis, this sole isn't nailed on well." "In fact, after a day or two of marching or walking, it'll put its tongue out like a dog." "Dad, come here a moment." " We need to talk to you." "One moment!" "I'm not finished." "The elastic is made of cotton and not silk!" "So it gives, you see?" "See how it gives?" "The insole is secondhand." "Cheat!" "The stitches of the welt are made with a hoe, and not with an awl." "I said awl!" "Finally, my dear friend, the lining.." "look!" " Careful!" "What careful?" "They're made of cardboard and not of hide!" "Dad!" " Sir!" " Therefore my very dear mister cobbler!" "These shoes are for a fair!" "Worth 6.50!" "If you don't know how to be a shoemaker, go be a pharmacist!" "It'll be better!" "Rimembris omnibus, which means:" "Remember, man." "Shoemaker are born, not made!" ""Ostrogothic"!" "What science!" "He knows everything!" " Ma'am, is he a shoemaker?" "What, Master Vincenzo?" "My grandson's father-in-law is a professor." "A man of science!" "From the way he spoke.." "he cast me down." "Keep the shoes and give me whatever you want." "I'm going, you should go eat." " Yes, yes." "Rosolia, take the shoes." "Cut off my head if that one is not a cobbler like me!" "What are you saying?" " Enjoy your meal." "Enjoy." "From now until tomorrow morning, I drink to the health of my daughter, Serafina." "The more I drink, the more I'm mellow, so the more I toast to this dear fellow." "But bear in mind, I may seem tender, yet I'll remain greatly dissenter!" "Cheers!" " Congratulations to all!" "There's also me, Professor." " Stand back!" " He's kidding." "Let's go to bed, because we're used to going to bed early here." "Like the chickens!" " Right." "We're country folk." " I know." "There's a lot to do and we wake up at dawn." "Good night!" " Good night, Dad." " Bye, daughter." "Bye, son." "Bye, son." "Godmother!" "Godmother!" "Excuse me, where do I sleep tonight?" "I told you: with Concetta in our room." " Impossible!" "I object." " Agostino!" " Are there no hotels in this village?" "What?" " Are there no inns here?" " What inns?" "Like we need that." "Please, pay him no attention." " OK, I'll show you the way." " I'll wait for you." "You haven't cleared it yet?" " Look." "Rosolia." "I get it." "Good night." " Good night." "Ah, let's clear it." "Let's do it quickly." "Ah, finally!" " Yes, finally!" "Don't fancy that after 20 years, I sleep with you!" " Imagine the pleasure!" "Better in a bed of toads!" " Very good!" "So I sleep on the bed, you, underneath." "Under where?" " Under the bed!" " Don't make me laugh!" "Agostino, let's not squabble, at least until the wedding's over." "Then don't act like a fishwife!" " Agostino!" " I won't give in!" "I have unshakable principles!" " Great!" "I'm going to bed, do what you want!" "Fine!" " Fine!" "How nervous I am!" "Finally, Providenza!" " The Professor began to eat again." "Again?" " He started on the kid." " Where does he put it?" " Don't ask me." "Let's say the rosary quickly because I'm getting sleepy." "Yes, let's hurry." " Our grandson has chosen a lovely wife." " Lovely and good!" "Let's begin." " Yes, right away." "Tomorrow'll be a magnificent event." "The wedding in the house, just like the rich!" "OK." "Do you want to start?" " No, it's better you start." "Soon we'll be great-grandparents, which doesn't happen to everyone!" " True!" "I'll start." "I hope it'll be a girl." " And me, a boy." "Aren't you starting?" " Yes." "Better a girl." " Better a boy." " Better a girl." " Better a boy!" " Better a girl!" "This place is for guests." "Get away!" "Here we go." "Oh, no!" "Oh, no!" "Oh, no!" "My dear St. John, this isn't how we get along!" "Come, come!" "No way!" "Even now, I was about to compromise myself." "OK, you might say," ""I was in the suitcase, I couldn't hear." So be it!" "I'm going to bed." "Tonight, you think it over." "We'll talk tomorrow." "Good night." "Yes, dear Master, I'm a lover and a cultivator of moosic too." "So I would like to prepare a nice surprise, impromptu, in honor of the happy event." "Oh, don't doubt it, Professor." "If you want to hear a sample.." "I require it." "At what time?" " At 2 o'clock, OK?" " Very well." "I'll be there, OK?" "I'll be there!" "So long!" "Good morning." " Good morning." "Good morning." " My dear countryman, where is there a good food store?" "Of what?" " Groceries, confectionery, liquor, stuff to eat." "Just down the road on the left." " Down there, thank you." "If you want to come to the marriage feast and.. also you," "The ceremony is at four." " Thank you." " You're welcome." " Good day." "You too, OK?" " Yes, thank you." "Where did he go?" "Which way?" " Over there." "You go there, leave the rest to me!" " I'm running!" "The Professor?" " He hasn't come back yet." "What could have happened?" "Let's go look for him." " No, no need." "He just took a stroll." "There he is!" " He's here!" " Professor, you were making us very anxious!" "What should I say?" "Other than prayers." " Where have you been?" "Tell me!" "What happened to you?" " Alas!" "I can't speak." " Why not?" "My life's in danger." "I'm alive by a miracle!" "I'm alive by a miracle!" "Sir, what happened?" " What?" " A bottle of wine to give me strength!" "A bottle and a glass." " Did you see anything?" " No." "Come here." "You come." "Drink without ceremony this old wine." "I'm sure it will do you good." "Not enough, but no matter." "To your health!" "Professor, what happened?" "Calmly." " I can't speak." " Tell me." "Tell me." " I can't speak!" " Tell me." " But I think I'm safe now." "I'm safe." " Thank heavens." " Another glass." " Immediately." "Whatever you want, Professor." "The quadrille in honor of the couple, do we dance it before or after the ceremony?" "After as customary." "Naturally, you'll lead it." " Of course." "This quadrille will be epic!" "I bet." " Another glass." "My respects, ma'am." " Don Vincenzo, what are you doing here?" "What is it?" "Some more shoes?" " No indeed, ma'am!" "Wasn't I invited to this lovely celebration?" "Invited?" " Yes, ma'am." " By whom?" " By the Professor!" "He very much insisted and not only with me, but with many more!" "Tons!" " Tons?" " Yes, look:" "Here they are." "Excuse me, Professor, did you invite all of these people?" "Why?" "Was I wrong to?" " Don't say such a thing!" "But we aren't prepared and I'm afraid that there's not enough food." "Godmother!" "Godmother!" "This pains me." "Am I not a professor?" "I thought of all!" "I took care of everything." "You'll laugh!" "I ordered sweets and groceries for the whole country and more!" "I'm sorry, that you went to such trouble, staying in our house." "I'd never allow myself to insult you." "I put it all on your account!" "Yes!" "On my account!" "Thanks!" " Laugh!" "What a beautiful godmother!" "Serafina Miciacio, do you take Giorgio Maria Santapaola as your lawful husband?" "Well?" " Yes, sir!" "She does, mayor." "Silence!" " But I'm the father." "The bride must answer!" " But the bride's not expert, it's her first time." " So?" "Yes." "And you Giorgio Maria Santapaola, will you take Serafina Miciacio as your wife?" "Yes, sir!" " Silence, for the second time!" "They fled together, so.." " Silence!" " Exactly." "Well?" " Yes." "Therefore, in the name of the law.." "You're under arrest!" " You're under ar.." "I pronounce you husband and wife!" "Bow to your oppositives!" "Choose your ladies!" "Arm in arm!" "Forward, marsh!" "Changez one femme." "Changez three femmes!" "Three ladies!" "Alt!" "Changez six femmes!" "Oh, Serafina!" "I only have a few days of life left, my daughter." "Your dad risked his life!" "Why, Dad, things are going well!" " So you think!" "Attention!" "Time for the climax, don't get confused!" "Marsh!" "Great confusion!" "Master Agostino!" "Master Agostino, stop!" "One moment!" " Master Agostino!" " Stop, Agostino!" "Master Agostino!" " Agostino!" " One moment please!" "Don Peppino, stop!" " I'll destroy it all!" "I'll smash all!" "You wanted to run away?" " No, I had to, it's part of the dance!" "You're a clown!" " Yes, sir." " What "yes sir?"" "A breaker of his word!" " Yes, sir." "Puppet, clown, coward, worm, wretch rejected by all!" "Say "yes sir!"" " You didn't give me time!" "Yes, sir." "Ask me for forgiveness!" "Oh!" "If it's for that.." "Immediately!" "That would be too easy, instead I must reduce you to a shred, a spot!" "You asked for it." "You'll have the punishment you deserve!" "I know.. oh!" "I am ready now!" "Where are you going?" "Where are you going?" "Cheater, swindler, crook, face of brass!" "Traitor!" " Don Peppino.." " Now I'll show you!" "You thought you could manage to escape, cheater like no other!" "This is your end." "But first I want to pull out your hairs one by one!" "There's too many and somebody may come." " He's right." "I don't care!" "Put your head down!" "They'll see that nobody can make a fool out of Don Peppino Esposito!" "A fool like you!" "Where did you learn how to live, insolent idiot, knucklehead?" "It was you!" "Don Peppino!" "You're the oil thief!" " What oil?" "Put your head down!" " You put yours!" "Drop the mask!" "St. John, I found him!" "I found him!" "Your waistcoat accuses you." " The waistcoat?" " Where's the button?" "There it is!" "The hole!" "Do they match?" "Yes, they match!" "I kicked you and you ran away, cardboard guappo!" " You better watch it!" "Thief!" " Watch it!" " Thief!" " Watch it!" "Mama mia, what's happening?" "Rascal!" "Scoundrel!" "Take this!" "Take that!" " Master Agostino, don't provoke me!" "Don't provoke me!" " Oil thief!" "I'll destroy you!" "Traitor, strike in the back?" "Master Agostino!" "I'll pulverize you!" "Come, are you scared?" " Don Agostino, I'm getting mad!" " Do you run?" "Let's run!" " He took me by surprise!" "What's going on?" "Mom!" " Godmother!" "What happened?" "What's the matter?" "Hurry!" " Wait, Don Peppino!" " Hurry!" "What happened?" "For heaven's sake!" "What's wrong?" "What's wrong?" "Talk!" "Talk!" "What happened?" " She lost her voice!" "My sweet St. John!" "You have blessed me!" "The moosic!" "The moosic!" "The moosic!" "In homage to him!" "Agostino!" " Huh?" " Agostino!" " Huh?" "St. John, what's happening?" " Peace!" "Agostino, peace!" "Yes." " Peace?" " Yes." " OK, but.." " Only you will be in charge!" "You alone!" "Dad, Mom!" "Subtitles by sineintegral@KG"