""There she is." "That's the one."" ""What have you done with Spock's brain?" ""What have you..."" "When you're twelve years old, you've got a lot of strange new territory to explore." "For Paul and me, that meant the basement with Carla Healey and Becky Slater." "Paul and I weren't the world's greatest make-out experts, but I figured all I had to do was wait for the sign from Becky." "That was the sign." "Hi, Mom." "So, you're doing laundry!" "Yeah, I thought I would." "You're folding, Kevin." "Kevin, what's that on you're neck?" "Mom, be cool." " Oh this?" "It's-it's a bug bite." "It was embarrassing for everyone." "Almost everyone." "I don't know, Mom." "Looks to me as though it just might be a monstro-hickey, a love bite a big juicy lip burn." "But that's just a guess." "Take this upstairs." "Why don't you kids come upstairs and watch TV?" "Star Trek's almost over." " As soon as it is." " Ok." "A bug bite?" "Well, what did you want me to say?" "I'll give you a bug bite." " Wait." "Get off!" "Becky!" " No, no!" "And so the days passed, carefree and lighthearted." "Paul and I seemed to have found a truce in the war of the sexes." "Everything was simple and fun." "In other words, it had to end." " Hey, Kevin." "Come here for a second." "I want to ask you something." "I want to ask you a favor." "Kirk McCray wanted to ask me a favor?" "Kirk McCray who had stolen Winnie away from me?" "Who had humiliated me?" "Defeated me?" "Ruined my life?" "Eh, but I was over that." "I had Becky and..." "I need you to talk to Winnie for me." "What?" "What?" "I need you to talk to Winnie for me." "I mean, well, I understand if you don't want to." "No, Kirk, I want to talk to Winnie Cooper for you almost as much as I want to be stabbed through the heart fifty times with a dull butter knife." "But, I mean, she'll take it better coming from you." "She really likes you." "She does?" "She does?" "Well, yeah." "I mean, you guys are really good friends, aren't you?" "Yeah, I guess so." "So, do you think you can just ask her if-if she still likes me?" "I thought you guys were going steady." "Oh, man." "I don't know what's goin' on." "I mean, she didn't say anything, but it's just the way she says it." "You know what I mean?" "She's gonna dump me, I know it." "Really?" "Really?" "I don't know." "She didn't say anything to you, did she?" "Me?" "No." "I mean, I hardly ever talk to her any more." "Do you think you can just ask her for me?" "Kirk, I don't think it'll be such a great idea." "Please." "I mean, I don't know what else to do." "You know, I mean, I've liked girls before and all, but not like I like her." "There's just something about her." "You know what I mean?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "But I just don't think" "If it's a hassle, you know, forget it." "Wait a minute." "I could do this." "What's the big deal?" "Winnie Cooper's yesterday's news." "Anyway, I had what's-her-name uh, Becky." "Yeah, I had Becky." "Kirk, wait a minute." "You'll do it?" "Yes, I'll do it." "Thanks, Kev-bo." ""Kev-bo"?" " You're gonna what?" "He just wants me to ask Winnie if she still, you know, still likes him?" " You can't do that." " Yes, I can." "Kevin, we're talking about Winnie Cooper here." "I mean, get real." "Well, what's your point?" "Look, I just know that if Carla dumped me," "I could never go and talk to her about liking..." " ...the guy she dumped me for." " She didn't dump me, Paul." "Especially for somebody like Kirk McCray." "It doesn't bother me, okay?" " Somebody older who's, like, twice my size." "What difference does that make?" "Who's got muscles out to here and a dark tan in the middle of the winter." "Well, maybe I'm not like you, Paul." "Maybe I'm just a little more secure than that, okay?" "Yeah, sure." "There's no way that I can't talk to Winnie." "We're still friends." "All I have to do is go up to her and say, "Winnie..."" "Hi, Kevin." "Grab her." "Squeeze her." "Kiss her on the lips." "No!" " What?" " Nothing." "I ran into Kirk McCray this afternoon." " Oh?" " Yeah." "I didn't see him today." "Really?" "Yeah." " He's a pretty nice guy." " Yeah." "Kirk wants to know if you still like him." "Kirk wants to know if you still like him." "Why doesn't he ask me himself?" "Because he's a coward and a fool, not worthy of your..." "Uh, because..." "I guess, he really likes you, and he doesn't want to make you feel weird." "He just wants to make me feel weird." "I don't know." "Do you mean do I "like him" like him, or do I just like him?" " The first one, I guess." " Well, I like Kirk." "But I'm not sure I "like him" like him." " Are you mad at him?" " Not really mad at him." " Oh, so you like him." " I didn't say I liked him." "I said I liked him." " Let me have that one more time slowly." "She's not mad at you." "She likes you." "She's not sure if she "likes you" likes you, but she likes you." "When she first liked you she "liked you" liked you, unless she just thought she liked you when she really just liked you." "But she likes you." "I knew it." "I'm a dead man." " Not necessari..." " Come on, you heard her." " What am I gonna do?" " I don't know." "She's waiting for me to make the right move, isn't she?" "Maybe." " What's the right move?" " I don't know." "Should I give her something?" "I don't know." "You could try." "Yeah?" "Like what?" "I don't know!" "Well, what would you give her?" "Look, Kirk!" "Maybe you should just try and figure this out by yourself." "I'm not the best guy to be giving advice about this." "Wait!" "Look, I've got to get to class." "How about this?" "What is it?" "My all-star patch." "Your all-star patch?" "Yeah, she could, you know, sew it on her sweater or jacket." " Girls do that, don't they?" "How am I supposed to know?" "Kev-bo." "Yeah?" "Will you give this to Winnie for me?" "Kirk, come on." "Please?" "This is the last time I'll ask, I swear." "I can't." "Look, if it was you and you really liked Winnie Cooper," "I'd do it for you." " What am I supposed to do with this?" "You could sew it on your jacket or sweater." "I don't know." "I can't do that." "It's just a way of showing friendship." "Come on, Kevin." "You know what it means." "Yeah." "Kevin?" "Yeah?" "I think I have to break up with him." "Really?" "I think so." "This may be none of my business, Winnie, but I think you're doing the right thing." "I mean, there's no use dragging it out." "You are so right." "We can still be friends." "Absolutely." "You know, I really tried." "Hey, when it's over..." "It's over?" "I'm sorry." "I knew it." "She likes someone else." "I don't think she likes someone else." "Did she say she didn't like someone else?" "Well, she didn't say she didn't." "Look, she said she still wanted to be friends." " She said that?" "!" " Yeah." "I know, I know." "Kirk, get a grip on yourself." "Now, Kirk raises an interesting question." "What if she does like someone else?" "Maybe that's what this whole thing is about." "But how can you find out without..." "Paul-bo!" ""Paul-bo"?" "I need you to ask Winnie something for me." "Things were falling into place." "Kirk and Winnie had broken up." "And why?" "Because she'd never really forgotten me, all those golden moments we shared, our first kiss." "I still remember the way she looked." "She looked just like that." " What's goin' on, McCray?" "What do you mean?" "I thought you and Winnie broke up." "Didn't I make that clear?" "You did." "Then I saw you guys making out." "I know." "Isn't that weird?" "Then what's going on?" "I don't know." "I can't figure it out myself." "I asked Eric Antonio to ask her for me." "Eric Antonio?" " Yeah, I hope you don't mind." " I can't believe this." "Kevin!" "Come here for a second." "Did you ask Winnie for me?" "Why would he talk to Winnie?" "I couldn't talk to Winnie." "She was with Eric Antonio all afternoon." "I think he likes her." "What?" "!" " I told you, all we did was talk about you." ""You" who?" " Both of you." " Both of who?" "Look, will you just answer the question?" " Do you like her or not?" " Well, sure I like her." "Well, do you "like her" like her?" "Not like you like her." " You like her?" " I thought everybody knew that." " You mean you "like her" like her?" "Yeah, I like her." "I liked before you liked her." "You mean you went to talk to her for me when all this time you liked her?" "Now you like her?" "Is there anybody else that likes Winnie Cooper" "I should know about?" "Paul?" "Well, she does have those tiny little freckles on her nose." "A joke!" "A joke!" "Well, who does she like?" "I don't know." "She likes you both." "You mean she "likes us" likes us?" "Well, who does she like better?" " Yeah, who does she like better?" " Yeah, who does she like better?" "I don't know." "I'll ask her tonight, we're going skating." "What?" " Hey, Kevin." "Becky Slater wants to know if you're mad at her." "Becky." "Poor little Becky." "In all this confusion, I'd forgotten all about her." "But now there was only one thing to do." "I had to tell her the truth, and not through any go-between but face-to-face, like a man." "Oh, God, look at her." "Poor sweet flower of a girl." "God, I hated to hurt her." "Well, just get it over with." "Becky, we have to break up." "I still like Winnie Cooper." "We can still be friends, though." "I know, I know." "Oh yeah, "friends"!" "?" "I'll give you "friends."" "I guess that was when it first occurred to me:" "I really didn't understand girls." "I mean, and let me be absolutely clear about what I mean," "I really didn't understand girls." " Interesting specimens." "Spock, where are we?" "It appears, Captain, that we are on an alien planet, inhabited by strange beings with long hair and very short skirts." "Well, hey, since I was having the fantasy anyway," "I figured I might as well do it right." "Who are you?" "What do want from us?" "Highly illogical question, Captain." "These are alien beings." "They think and act in ways you cannot hope to understand." "Well, what can we do?" "There must be some way of fighting back." "Bones?" "Scotty?" "I'm afraid we have no choice but to submit to their every whim." " We are their captives." "They control us completely." "No, this can't be." "We're human beings." "Can't you understand that?" "We're men!" "We're men!" "Men!" " Hey, Kev you're okay?" "You okay?" "Well, that night I caught up on something" "I'd been needing to do for a long time." "I just shut the door and lay down on the bed and put in two hours of good solid, adolescent self-pity until Winnie got home." " Where are you goin'?" "Just over to Winnie's for a minute." "It's a little late, Kevin." " Just for a minute." " Can't this wait til tomorrow?" "A reasonable question, but at the moment" "I was not a reasonable man." "No, it can't" "Okay." "Kev-bo." "Eric-bo." "Were you at the skating rink tonight?" "I didn't see you." "I wasn't there." "Hey, you want to hear what Winnie said about you?" "No." "Okay." "Well, I guess I'll see you in school." "See ya." " Hi." " Hi." "Hi." "It's cold." "It almost feels like it might snow." "Yeah." "Look, Winnie, what are you doing?" "What do you mean?" "What are you doing with Eric?" "We went skating." "He's nice to talk to." "He's just a friend." "Yeah, what about Kirk?" "I broke up with Kirk." "Yeah, I saw the way you broke up with him." "In the hallway?" "Oh." "I don't know." "I guess that wasn't such a good idea." "You guess?" "Well, what business is it of yours anyway?" "I'm your friend, that's what." "Well, if you're my friend, then why are you being like this?" " Like what?" " Like oh, I don't know..." "Look, don't get all upset." "I have to ask you something." "What?" "I just have to know if you like me or not." "And don't give any of that "like me" like me stuff." "Well, that was it:" "a straightforward, face-to-face, yes-or-no question." "And I was going to stand there until I got my answer." "I don't know." ""I don't know"!" "What do you mean you don't know?" "I mean I don't know." "I really don't know." "I wish everyone would just leave me alone." "I don't know what I'm doing." "This was something new." "I mean, I always figured girls knew exactly what they wanted." "They knew, they had a plan." "Or maybe they didn't." "Maybe they were just as confused as we were." "Isn't that great?" "It-it's horrible." "They don't know either." "That means nobody knows." "You mean you really don't know?" "No." " Well, I'm sorry." " What for?" "I don't know." "As I stood there that cold night," "I realized for the first time in a long time that Winnie and I were feeling the same thing." "We were both completely miserable." "Kevin." "What?" "Knock, knock." "Who's there." "Sam and Janet." "Sam and Janet who?" "Sam and Janet Evening." "You're supposed to laugh." "I am." "You are?" "Well, maybe I'm not "laughing" laughing." "But I'm laughing." "Okay, Winnie." "Some enchanted evening." "We'll see." "Subtitles by Taurusmind"