"Hurry up." "Serve the mothers of the young couple first." " They're paying." " Paying well, too." " Will you fetch her?" " Yes." " You look great." " Thank you." "Welcome all, on this wonderful day, at Villa Matrimonio Toscanesca." "The sun is shining today and is almost as radiant... was the look in the young couple's eyes." "You've come from far:" "two families, friends... and you've spent the last few days here in Tuscany." " Isn't she a dear?" " Yes." "And she always loves doing it." " Come on, back to work." " Yes." "Yes." "I hereby declare you joined in matrimony." " What's that?" " What do you mean?" "Marla?" "Marla." "Put the cake in the middle." "It's beautiful." "Dear Herman and Remco, as is customary in Italy... the certificate is signed by the Mayor, Mr Bellamonti." " Thank you, gorgeous." " There you are." "Sanne, could you go more easy on the decorations?" "It looks like a flower pageant outside." "People marry only once." "Shouldn't it be perfect?" " I should have them dealt with." " What?" " Those wrinkles..." " Darling, there's no need." " Just a little jab." " Don't even think of it." "Bob." "Watch out." "Impossible creature." "Invite you for" "A TUSCAN WEDDING" " Right on the tits, too." " That will do, don't you think?" "I'll buy new flowers for you." "These can go." "Hey, don't throw them away." " They're still fine." " Okay." " At least let me pay for them." " No, it's quite all right." "Sorry." " Bye..." " Bye." " Are you following me?" " No, this is where I have to be." " Oh, you've come for the inspection?" " Yes, I'm Jeroen Beukering." "Isn't Bob the groom?" "Yes." "I'm Bob's best friend." "I'm only a witness to the disaster." "Ah... that'll be them." "Ciao." " Sanne van Straaten, wedding planner." " I'm Lisa, the bride." " Congratulations." " Thank you." "Irresponsible." " Hello, I'm Bob." " I'm Sanne." "Splendid." "Let the Roman orgy begin." "Wasn't your theme La Dolce Vita?" "What?" "No Roman orgy?" "Strike me from the list in that case." " It's a pity." " Boys..." "This is all pan of it?" " Not a bad location, don't you think?" " Just what I wanted." "Dear Bobbikins, it's really wonderful." "I love you." " And I love you, my beauty." " Mega much." " A real mega super lot." " A mega super lot." "This is going to take some time." "Bob is a cosmetic surgeon." "He'll make her a dream woman." "No, I've never touched Lisa and I never will." "She's so beautiful, so pure." "I'll keep her like that forever." " Right, my beauty?" " You're so sweet." " It's so beautiful here." " I like it if you like it." "Oh, a swimming pool." "May we?" "Oh, Bobbiboo." "Isn't this terrific?" "And so a great man's mind disappears... in the mud of a monogamous marriage." "What a waste." "What's your problem?" " I don't believe in it." " In their marriage?" "I don't believe in marriage." "Full stop." " It's an honour to marry you two." " Thank you." " We'll make it a lovely time." " Oh, I can't wait." "Ciao, bella." "Arrivederci." "See you in July." "Bye." "Bye." "Fien, we're going on a trip to Italy." "It's wonderful." "The prosecco is simply in the air." "What do you think, Koos, would Bob let me take them off?" "Well, I couldn't possibly say." "I think Bob is such a sweetie." "In the past we had to wait and see who our daughters brought along." " They're off." "How do I look?" " Yes, beautiful." "Yes?" "Really?" "I think so too, in fact." "Thank you." "Wonderful that Fien and I could get a lift." "Right, Fien." "You like it too, don't you?" "Isn't it fun?" "What a botched up job." "It's no more than a ruin." "If I built this at home they'd knock it over." "Oh, what fun." "It's always been my wish." "Does this look right?" "Does it look real?" "Let me see." "Oh, this is such fun." "Oh, Koos, it's so good to be with you." "Maybe this will be our second honeymoon?" "Darling, we've been divorced for 18 months." "Don't start imagining things." "Of course I'm imagining things." "What else can I do?" "Tom, what days are these if even a wedding planner can't find a man?" "All she needs is a little push." " A push towards what?" " Hip, hip, hooray." "You didn't." "I wanted to ignore it." "Thirty is so definitively thirty." "Nonsense, nonsense." "Tom, the present." "Oh yes..." "Darling, don't think we want to get rid of you..." " But you do, a bit." " No." "You're always among loving couples." "It's time for your own happiness." "Living with a man and his adult daughter can't be a joke." " Sanne?" " Grandma's ring." "Hint, hint." " For you." " Camillo." "For my birthday?" "Si." "And for my brother's marriage this afternoon." "But you shouldn't have." "We are friends, and friends need taking care of properly." " Thank you so much." " Don't mention it." "Ciao." " I'll see you this afternoon." " Si." " Forget it." " Shame." "Camillo and I are just friends." "Don't forget me my life and yours are united" "What's up?" "Cigarette?" "Should I brush my teeth?" " Take a rest." "Tomorrow's a shambles." " It's okay." "I just don't want you to drop dead." " That wasn't the deal." " Darling..." "I don't want to be a head patient with a bossy nurse around." " A bossy nurse?" " Yes." "But that could be very exciting." "Nurse... what are you doing?" "No response." "The doctor says it's the pills." "Doesn't matter." "The bossy nurse can wait." "How good to see you." " Arrivederci." " Hi, Bob." " They're really special." " Yes, good choice." "We have the rings, certificate, passports." "All we need." "Well, I've got a little request." "I would really love it if you, Jeroen... could do the wedding ceremony." "What?" "But wasn't Jeroen your witness?" "Yes, but he's also my best friend." "He knows us best." " You can't just do that." " Why not?" " Is it allowed?" " Of course it is." "But has Jeroen had enough time to prepare?" "Speaking in public can be stressful." "He's a defence lawyer." "It can't be a problem." "Divorce cases." "Yes, sorry." " It's still strange." " Why?" "As if you're making a butcher run a pet farm." "What do you think?" "Why not share it?" "You do the speech and you do the marrying." " Is that okay?" " Of course it is." "Have you ever been to a marriage ceremony?" "No." " There you are." " Does it matter?" "I hear these lovely stories about desperate bridesmaids." "There's a wedding in the area this afternoon." "Come along if you like." "Wonderful." "You may learn something about love." "Now now, Bobbiboo, that's a bit over the top." " Here we are." " Hi." "Hello, you old sponger." " There you go." " And... ready for your bucket list?" "Your last pre-death wish?" " Death, marriage." "It's all the same." " That's true." "Oh no, Bob." "Don't do it." "Really... don't." "You put it on the wish-list yourself." " Okay?" " There you go." "No, no..." "Great, Bobby." "Great, Bob." "Photo." "Photo..." "Oh, fuck." "The rings." "The rings... the rings..." "The rings." " Did I see something drop?" " The rings..." "Why did you want to be a divorce lawyer?" "What's wrong with it, Lily?" "All your clients ditch each other." "I'd get depressed." "No, I'm helping them." "I release them from their chains." " For 150 euros an hour." " A little more, in fact." "How noble of you." "How about you?" "Seeing happy people makes me happy." "Are you in a relationship?" "I'm divorced." "Three years ago." "He kept the house, and I moved to Italy." "Three years." "Yes, and when was your last serious relationship?" "Or maybe there never was one?" "I got it nearly right, didn't I, Jeroen?" " Do something with it, Lily." " Why do you call me Lily?" "Because your name sounds like a flower." "And we first met at a flower shop." "So it's Lily." "In a few minutes we will be landing at Pisa airport" "Victor, my sister is getting married... and you can only talk about big waves?" "What?" " It's the other way." " Just go." "You're letting me down again." "You know what?" "Damn you and your lovely big waves." "Lily, what do I have to do during the ceremony?" "I ask Bob if he wants Lisa..." "I fear he'll say 'Yes'." "Then I ask Lisa... and she's bound to say "yes"." "And then they're matrimonized?" "Joined in matrimony." "That's the phrase." "Whatever." "Ciao." "Bon giorno." "I assume you'll behave respectfully." "Obviously." "Nice to see how romantic you are." "Marriage is not romantic." "The Church invented it to force people to stick together." "Sex becomes boring, so there are not so many children born." "Marriage as contraceptive." "Contraceptive?" "Yes, and after the Pill they could have abolished marriage." "But the Church stuck to the silly monogamy story." "People who ridicule monogamy... often have erection problems, did you know?" "How funny." "My theory is scientifically proven." "Mine too." " Ciao, Camillo." " Ciao, Sanne." "What was your wedding like?" "A church affair I bet?" "Dressed like a princess, with a lace train." "And twelve bridesmaids of course." "And a groom with a ridiculous top hat." "Afterwards into the carriage together, to the castle for the photo shoot." "You with a giant bunch of chrysanthemums." "Staring into the flowers together." "My wedding was a drag." "A rainy morning in the village." "The groom was late." "Hadn't bothered to change into a good suit." "And my bouquet didn't match my dress." "What went wrong between you two?" "He couldn't bear my perfectionism." "Ah..." "We are wicked, we are crass, hit the ball right up your ass." "My whole hockey team." " Where is Victor?" " Victor?" "Who's that?" "Oh, no." "You mean it?" "He preferred surfing on Tenerife to your wedding." " Want some advice?" " Dump him?" "No, first empty him out and then dump him." "Ask Jeroen for help." "He'll help you at a reduced rate." " Reduced rate?" " Wouldn't he?" "You're obscene, you are." "Look, the dog's here as well." "Fientje, come and see me." " Hey, sweetie." "Hi there." " Hey, Mum." "Dad's here, too." "We came together." "Marla?" " Yes?" " Marla van den Boomgaard." "Koos?" "I saw it on the guest list, but it's such a common name." "Goodness..." "How many light years ago is that?" "None." "You look as if time has stood still." "Oh, thank you." "That's very kind." "That's not how I know you." "No, I know." " How old were we?" " When I went out with Nico?" "18." "I remember you as a little terror... who stole from Nico so we couldn't go dancing." "I also let the air out of the tyres of his moped." "Exactly." "Why did you do that?" "I wanted you on the back of my moped but I only had a bicycle." " What?" " Yes." "Really?" "All that time while I dated your brother?" "Yes." " And years after that." " You never told me." " Remember his muscles?" " Yes." "Why do you think I stayed with him for so long?" "What a lovely dress." " What a lovely evening." " Grazie." " Where is my guest?" " Keeping the bridesmaids amused." "Mamma mia." "Why not ask her to dance?" "But I dance like a camel." "Is there anything you do well?" "Ah, it's too late anyway." "Seriously?" " Tomorrow you learn to dance." "Basta." " Basta, Mama." "Hey brother, do you have a moment?" "Those bloody rings..." "We'll buy new ones tomorrow." " No, they're special." " Why?" "Some of Lisa's skin is in my ring and some of my skin is in hers." " Serious?" " Yes, so that we're always together." "Skin from where?" " From our bums." " You used skin off your arse?" "It's a party." " Hello, Jeroen." " Hi, Marjolein." " Great new girlfriend." " Thank you." "Well girl, have fun while it lasts." "But after the third time you're on your own, at home... with a cold pizza for comfort." "Marjolein, please..." "Sorry, that was a bit embarrassing." "Doesn't matter." "So you're a typical three-timer?" "Three-timer?" "Yes, you've done it three times with most of these women." "What's up?" "First she's exciting." "The second time she's just around." "And the third time is a farewell?" "What a sad sex life you've got." "Oh..." "And what's on your CV, tell me?" "It's quite shod." "And that allows you to judge everybody else?" "What's up, Lily." "Lost your tongue?" "Marjolein?" "Come back, girl." " Sleep well, Jeroen." " Sleep well, Lily." " Marla?" " Yes?" " Can I ask you something?" " Of course." "Is there a nice restaurant around here?" "Tom is a good cook but you can't mean that." "No, not really." "I have to go to the market." "You can come along if you like." "Would you drink a glass of wine with me there?" "A glass of wine?" "Yes." "You've become much more charming in those 35 years." "Think so?" "That's how one should live:" "keeping the juicy bits for last." " That is a very delicious Amarone." " Hello." "Would you like a glass?" " Yes, please." " Go ahead." "Oh, by the way, I'm the mother of the bride:" "Bella." "Hi, Bella." "I'm Tom." "I live here with my daughter Sanne and my Marla." "I think it's so romantic here in the south." "I had the same thing in mind for Koos and me." "But Koos had different plans... so now I'm on my own in a flat facing north." "Would you like some?" " Yes, fine." " Nice." "Well..." "Tom... may we all get the happiness we deserve." "Don't you think?" " Yes, salute." " Salute." "Wow, that's not a bad lot of grape juice." "We won't be doing weird things?" "Of course not." "First a sniff of culture." " Michelangelo." " Da Vinci." " The Last Supper?" " Something like that." "Sorry, sorry." " Hi, friend of Lisa's." " Hi, brother of Bob's." " Who's called Erik." " Hi, Erik." "All those hockey girls lend class to the occasion." "Are you into sports?" " Yes, I'm a professional gamer." " See you, gamer." "Jeroen?" "Do you have a moment?" "Is it important?" "I'm getting a divorce." "That's important for sure." " What was the agreement?" " Sorry?" "In joint or separate property or a third variant?" "Separate." "A pre-nuptial agreement." "Victor arranged everything." "I was... in love." " Was he a partner in the business?" " No." "In that case there may be some money in it." "Will you arrange that for me?" "Sweet little lawyer of mine?" "Hey guys." "Group photo." "Jeroen." "Ready, ladies?" "Three, two, one..." "Time for the next surprise." "Ladies only." "We're going to do something only real men do." "The grey van there." "You know, Tom..." "I sometimes think that love is like a shop window." "But when you go inside it turns out to be a recycling shop... and soon you're put out with the garbage." "That's a sad view, Bella." "You're right." "My daughter is getting married tomorrow." "Naughty Bella." "You know what's?" "Watch this:" "Bella is going to be a wine connoisseur." "That so?" "Hello." "Hello." "I'm the mother of the bride." " Welcome." " Thank you." "I'm off for a drink in the village." " That's nice." "On your own?" " No." "With an old flame." "What, an old flame?" "Mine are all extinguished." " Well, have a nice time." " Yes, you too." "Look at that." "At last." "Stop, stop." "Prego." "Thank you." " Watch out for the sharks, man." " Come on, guys." "It could be very deep." "Don't jump, Bob." "Watch out." "What's this about, guys?" " I thought so." " I'm Vittorio Bellamonti, the Mayor." "Glad to meet you, Mayor." "Yes Bob, the women will be proud of us tomorrow." "Like primeval men we're going to bring home the food." "We are going to hunt." " I'm telling him." " We're going to look for a wild boar." "Wild boar." "Wild boar?" "We're not going to kill an animal?" "Yes, for the party." "It's a local tradition." "It's the tradition here." "Select your gun carefully." "Look, they're shiny." "Shotguns." "I definitely taste broccoli." "Hooray." "It's Fien." "It's Fien." "Tom and I have been together for ages but we never married." "I always hoped he'd ask me." "But his head problems were always in the way." "And I've got a woman rival, too." "Aha, he's a naughty man?" "No, it's his daughter, Sanne." "She came to live here after her divorce." "Tom and she are as thick as thieves." "And the business takes up a lot of time." "So there's not much time left for love?" "To be honest, there isn't." "It's all not terribly romantic." " Isn't that a pity?" " Yes, it's a pity." "Doesn't a woman like you deserve better?" "I sometimes think so, yes." "A special present from us all." " You're spoiling me." " That's the idea." "Oh wow... that's really cool." "I'm such a fan of his work." " Hey tiger, you look good." " Thanks, so do you." "You'd be a danger on the hockey field." "It wouldn't work, playing in a dress." "Because you're a fan of Abelardo's work... we have a special surprise for you." "Boys, pronto." " Salve." " Hello." "Abalardo is here to take the photo of the team." "Ciao, bella." "You're not serious." "Yes, I'm going to make a work of an of you all." "Cup C." "Look, we can choose one." " This is fantastic." " Cool, right?" "Your daughters have landed on their feet." "Both married." "Must be a good feeling." " Yes, I'm a free man." " How do you see your future?" "I will sell the business, and then the sky's the limit." "What about you?" "I don't know." "It depends on Tom's head." "You sound down in the dumps." "I thought so..." "I will send Bob on to you." "Hanging eyelids." "That's a shame." "And it's not necessary." "We'll lift them here." "And you've got wrinkles, little ones." "Let's get rid of those." "Move the lips up." "Inject some foam in them." "This is distracting." "Let's smoothen it." "Have you considered a facelift?" "Bob's good at it, you know." "What?" "Okay." "We are wicked, we are crass, hit the ball right up your ass." "I'm going to tell Lisa first about the dog." "Bella is too vulnerable right now." " Who's this then?" " It's Jesus." "And another one." "That's paradise for you." "Quite a party." " You're not allowed in here." " Off you go." "That was fun, wasn't it?" "Did you enjoy it?" "Yes, it was real fun, Koos." "Don't I get a kiss?" "Sleep well." "Sweet dreams." "That wasn't very liberal." "Jesus, Koos, you scare me." "What do you mean?" "You know very well what I mean." "No, I've no idea." "I've dreamed about this for 35 years." "My time has come." "Koos, go away, you're drunk." "What are you doing?" "It's a joke, it's nothing." "Koos, I've had a very nice day with you... but I don't want anything more." "Why don't you want it?" "Because." "I just don't feel like it." "Make yourself feel like it." "Stop it, Koos." "For God's sake." "You're just the same rotter you always were." "You hurt me." "That really hurt." "Hey..." "I'm..." "I'm stuck with that speech." "Dear Jeroen, you're a lawyer." "Surely you can write a speech?" "You don't need my help at all." "Bye bye." "Sanne?" "Dear Bob, Lisa..." "Dear Bob, dear Lisa..." "'You get married not to find happiness but to share it.'" "I usually give them something to think about." " And they fall for it?" " If they love each other." "Let me see." "You're getting on, aren't you?" "This is it, or something like it." "'A wedding costs a lot, a divorce costs more?" "'" "Right." "It's true and it's positive." "You can't talk about money at a wedding." "Wait, you yourself said:" "Real love is priceless." "You're sadly unromantic, did you know?" "Dearest Bob, dearest Lisa." "Together you are like..." "I am thinking, Jeroen." "I'm helping you." "It's beautiful what you're doing." "Go on." "There." "The tenth attempt." "You could mention the moment they met." "When Lisa sat next to Bob on that flight after the Olympic Games." "Well, that's the story that got spread in the media." "The truth is that Bob first saw Lisa as a patient on his operating table." "She'd fallen off a bar stool with more glass in her face than vodka in her mouth." "I would leave that out." "Why do Bob and Lisa belong together?" "You're not only a witness but also an agent in the disaster." "If you have an answer to that, you've got your speech." "Here." "Good luck." "Ah, there you are." "Go to bed." "Tomorrow is the big day." "Lisa, what's the matter?" "Having regrets already?" "Bob's the right man." "He will cover you in jewels and Vuitton handbags." "I know, that's not the point." "So what is it?" " Did you have secrets when you married?" " Yes, lots." "Didn't that worry you?" "Yes, but isn't that supposed to be what secrets do?" " I only have one." " So what's the problem?" "That it does worry me." "Fientje." " God, Mum." " Fientje." "Mum?" "Did you not see her?" "Fien?" "Fientje?" "Oh, God..." "Bob?" "Bob, Lisa." "Good morning, dear couple." " Lisa, we need you on your own." " Not now." " Not now." " Shit." "We'll come back later." " Later?" "But the dress..." " Come." "Bobby, lad." "Bob, old wanker." "Open the door, man." "No, wait." "It's your wedding day." "Bob, don't." "Girls." "Girls." "Bob?" "Don't..." "My God." "What has he done?" "Stop it, boys." "Okay, men." "Playtime's over." "Time to get married." "I need your help again." "What's happened?" "This morning, Lisa decided to make a clean breast." " No..." " Yes." " She and I have..." " Let me guess: three times?" "They were only just together." "Your best friend's girlfriend?" " It does happen in hockey clubs." " Does it?" "Sign me up." "You shag from one failure to another." "Look who's talking." "With your failed marriage." "As if you always make the right choice." "Sorry." "I'm a jerk, I'm sorry." "Bob en Lisa belong together." "Will you do the wedding ceremony?" "We'll do it together." "You don't get off that lightly." "Fientje?" "Where are you?" "Come here, Fien." "Bella?" "Can you help me, please?" "I have a bit of trouble with the..." "'Dear Koos.'" "'Roses whither, buildings decay." "But my love for you is here to stay.'" "'Our marriage deserves a second chance.'" "Holy macaroni." "Fien." "Oh, sweetie..." "No..." "What's all this?" "Bob needs to think?" " Hi, Dad." " Hi, sweetie." "Oh, my darling." " Mum?" "Mum, what's the matter?" " My darling, my darling..." " Mum?" "Mum, what's happened?" " Look, she's been murdered." "She's been murdered, she's been killed." "Tell me." "Were you there?" "What are you gaping at?" "Who did it?" "Don't ask me..." "I'm asking you a simple question." "Who did it?" "I did it." "Yesterday, when we went hunting." "Bella, believe it or not, but..." "I took Fien for a fuzzy wild boar." "I..." "I didn't dare tell you." "Why couldn't you just tell me?" "Where would we be without forgiveness?" "I'm sorry." "I just want to know one thing: what was it like?" " Do you really want to know?" " Yes." "I really want to know, yes." "It was just one of those things." "How did you like it... with Lisa?" "Was she nice and juicy?" " She's juicy." " She is, isn't she?" "And the rings?" "Bob, old man..." "Somethings up with the rings?" " Yes, Koos." " Don't worry, I'm only your father-in-law." " I lost them." "Up in the sky." " I think I can help you there." " You see?" " Gee, Koos." "Thanks a million." "I'd like you to call me Dad now." "This way she's still with me at least." "Ready?" "I'm more nervous than for a counsel's plea in court." "How beautiful." "It'll be fine." "Dear Bob, dear Lisa." "It's great to know there is someone who'll do anything for you." "Someone to rely on." "Someone who will never let you down." "Someone you love so much you'd even marry them." "As you know I make my living by ending marriages." "You may not know I was never present... at a wedding ceremony." "Until yesterday." "Sanne took me along and I must admit:" "there was something special about it." "It was charming." "And I saw the advantages:" "when you are married... you don't need to check your phone fifty times a day... to see if the person you met in an obscure cafe..." " ...wants to see you again." " I know that." "No more lonely Christmases." "No need to find out the name... of the person you wake up next to on New Year's Day." "In brief, I saw lots of advantages." "Dear Bob and Lisa." "I have reason to say I know you both very well." "I think that marriage is about... creating and sharing beautiful moments together." "But maybe it's just as important to be able... to face difficult situations together." "And if there are two people in this world... who I'm sure can do this, it's you two." "And if it isn't, you've got my number." "Please stand up, give each other your right hand and repeat." "I, Lisa Frederique Marianna Gertruida Leidekker... promise you, Robert Frederik van Aspen, to be your faithful partner." "I, Lisa Frederique Marianna Gertruida Leidekker... promise you, dearest Robert Frederik van Aspen, to be your faithful partner." "I promise to love you unconditionally... and to support you in your efforts." "I promise to love you unconditionally... and to support you in your efforts." "I promise to honour you and to respect you." "To laugh with you, cry with you and to comfort you as long as I live." "I promise to honour you and to respect you." "To laugh with you, cry with you... and to comfort you as long as I live." "As a sign of your pledge you now give each other a ring." "What's this?" "Got them from Koos." "It's monstrous." "Just put it on." "And now you may..." "Yes, that's right." " Grazie." " Prego." "Mafia." "I'm so happy." " I'm proud of you." " That will do." "It's going to be fine, you'll see." " Did you manage?" "Is it a poodle?" " Sort of related." "He's very sweet." "Bella?" "I just want to say again how sorry I am." " Ah..." " I've got something for you." "For me?" "Look... a surprise." "Robert-Jan?" " What a darling." "Look at her, Koos." " Yes, I see." "It's a dog." "Marla?" "It went fantastically well." "You finished my sentences for me as if you knew what I was thinking." "As if you felt what I felt." "Unbelievable." "Has anyone ever told you how marvellous you are?" "I don't want to be a three-timer." "You'll never change, will you?" "Sorry." " Bon giorno, Marla." " Bon giorno." " Look at this truffle." " Wow, what a giant." "Will you let me make spaghetti al tartufo for the two of us?" "No thanks." "Tom makes such a good one." " Hi, darling." " Hello, love." "Marla." "Tom..." "Sanne." "I feel just like that tree." "Those trees can get to be a thousand years old, Dad." "You'll see." "After the operation you will last forever." "You'd better start thinking about what you still want to do." "You're right." "There is one thing I would still like to do." "What is it?" "Marla..." "Eighteen years ago you said you'd enter into any adventure with me." "And stupidly, there's one thing I never thought of asking you." "According to Sanne I'll live to be a hundred at least... so I'd better ask you now." "Dear Marla... will you marry me?" "Yes?" "Yes." "My sweet Tom." "I've had to wait for a long time." "We have a wonderful unmarried future behind us." "But I'm so grateful that I will soon have your and Sanne's surname." "And your ring, and all the fuss that goes with marriage." "We have one advantage." "We've seen many couples here... who promise to be there for each other for ever." "That's quite a big thing." "But we've already proved it." "Our marriage will be a walkover." "Because I'm sure:" "You're the right one for me." "You always have been." " Now you may both stand up." " Yes." "Hold each other's right hand as a symbol of fidelity." "Dear Tom Hendrik van Straaten... will you take Marla van den Boomgaard to be your lawful wedded wife... and do you promise to support her, for better and for worse..." "You may answer, Dad." " Yes." " Yes... in all eternity." "Don't cry." "Amen." "Do not forget me my life is united with yours" "I love you" "more and more you are always in my dreams" "do not forget me my life is united with yours" "there is a special place in my heart for you do not forget me" "Ciao, Tom." " If you need a strong shoulder, I'm there." " Grazie." "Don't." "Or I won't have anyone left." "My mother wants us to get married in this church." " It's beautiful." " Si." "Yes." "Beautiful." "Oh, my darling future daughter-in-law." "Beautiful, isn't she?" "I'm going to say something important." "You're going to get married and we hope you will be with us for a long time." "That's why we want to give you a present." " From my Granddad and Grandma." " Grazie." "They were from his granddad and grandma." "That's what I said." " How could I know?" "You said it in Dutch." " Sanne is Dutch." " In Italy, she should speak Italian." " Dad, calm down and sit down." "Why?" "I hadn't finished yet." "With these rings you can stay together for ever." "Your brother didn't manage." "He's come back to Mummy." " Why do you keep on about it?" " You're spoiling them." "Dad, stop it now." "Never mind." "We wish you a good marriage, even if she is Dutch." "I understood that." " She understands you." " She knows what you're saying." "As long as their marriage lasts longer than five months." "Yes, excuse me a moment." " Jeroen?" " Hi." "Most people would say 'hi', too." " Or 'hello', that's also right." " Hello." "I wanted to ask you something." "Don't." "It's impossible." "I'm with Camillo now." "No, that's not what I mean." "I want to ask something different." "Dominique?" " Money is no problem." "Arrange it." " Come here." "Dominique." "You must remember her?" "She's Lisa's sister." " And you two are..." " A couple." "Right." "Well... that's good news." "That's wonderful news." "How did you get him to agree?" "He's as anti-marriage as you can imagine." "It was because of you." "Jeroen was so impressed." " With me?" " With your work and your speeches." "There is a tiny obstacle." "Victor is still surfing all over the world, so we're not divorced yet." "But I've got my own lawyer to fix that." "And how are you?" "Fine." "Glad that the marriage season has started again." " Look." " Oh, for our balcony scene." " Yes, just right." " Much more stylish than Bob and Lisa's." "We'd like to book for 16 July." " Pity..." " What, has that been booked already?" "Yes, in a way." "But has the couple doubly confirmed?" "Yes, in a way." "I'm getting married to Camillo then, so..." "And the week before?" " Yes, that's still free." " Fine." "Block it for us." "That's great." "It's all in the can." " Can you smell it?" " What, the dog?" "No, Italy." "The prosecco is in the air." "Right, Cosey?" "The prosecco is in the air." "Next time I'll fly." " Lisa..." " Come Cosey, out you come." " Hi, Bob." "Congratulations." " Thank you." "How beautiful." "Much nicer than what you wore at your first wedding." "You can't get married often enough." "Hey, sis." "Is this for me and the bridesmaids?" "Yes, looks good, eh?" "Ta ra..." " Mum, we've already chosen rings." " No, darling." "They're for your dad and me." "Yes, I'm going to propose to him." "At your party." "Last time I was still in doubt but now I am sure." " That's wonderful news." " Yes, I think so too." "I'm so happy." " Hi, Marla." " Hi, Koos." " My condolences." " Thank you." " How are you doing?" " Under the circumstances quite well." "I've thought a lot about you." "That's sweet of you." "But I haven't thought of you." "That's honest of you." "You're such a good couple... because you realise you don't marry to find happiness but to share it." "Sanne?" "Hear this: the bride texted the recipe for spaghetti alla carbonara." " Yes?" " She wants me to use cream." " So you make it with cream." " Have you lost your wits?" "Carbonara with cream gets you the death sentence." " Then shoot the couple." " What?" "Kill the couple." "I will never get my speech finished anyway." "I need some data for my speech." "Do you have a moment?" "When did you first think:" "You are the right one for me?" "The first time I saw him... to arrange my divorce." "He was so purposeful." "He doesn't let go till he gets what he wants." "Fantastic." "He is my prince... in a red Alfa." "What about you, Jeroen?" "It was at the same moment." "Wasn't it, Jeroeniboy?" "Will that be all?" " I'll get dressed then." " Of course." "You won't be long?" "I woke up one morning... and I suddenly thought:" "is this all there is to my life?" "Will I go on forever making conquests?" "On the pillow beside mine on New Year's Day... there was Dominique." "She wasn't a three-timer anymore, she'd become a four-timer." "When I look at the crease beside her nose... or when I see how carefully she makes sandwiches, I think:" "Why not?" "I think we'll do all right together." " And you and Camillo?" " The urge to settle, I suspect." "'I suspect.' That doesn't sound very convincing." "No. 'I think we'll do all right together.' That sounds convincing." "Just say she's a good fuck." "That she's always willing." "Everywhere." "That she comes off yodeling." "'I think we'll do all right together'?" " You look great." " I sweat like a pig in this dress." "It's the last time I let my little sister dress me." "I feel like an exploded tinsel ball." "Super, isn't it?" " I'm going to start." " Okay." "I can't do it." "What?" "Spaghetti alla carbonara with cream." "Give them something else." "French fries if you like." "French fries?" "What French fries?" "She wants me to fry chips." "Stupid Dutch cow." "Has she gone bonkers?" "What am I to do?" "Welcome all of you on this very special day." "Many of you know that Jeroen never believed in marriage as such." "It was Dominique's special powers of persuasion... that finally won him over." "Well done, Dominique." "Though he did have a point." "One of the three couples I marry end up divorcing each other." "Fortunately Jeroen knows very well what he's letting himself in for." "And that's just as well." "A marriage needs a lot to be successful:" "A deep, lasting confidence in each other." "A sense of togetherness, even during the worst rows." "Making yourself subservient to the other person's needs... and so merge into something more important." "That's what makes us happy." "Fine." "You may now stand up... and hold each other's right hand as a symbol of fidelity." "Dominique Leidekker, do you take Jeroen Beukering to be your husband... and will you observe the duties imposed by law?" "Yes." "Jeroen Beukering, do you take Dominique Leidekker to be your wife?" "And do you promise to observe the duties imposed by law?" "Yes." "I now declare you husband and wife." "You may kiss the bride." "Sanne?" "That's not how we do things here." "That was the last one." "I'm going to stop doing this." "So guys, my advice is:" "Enjoy." "And Dominique, dear daughter... this is the last wedding I pay for." "The next one's on you." "We must all tighten our belts and that's hard enough for me." " Cheers." " Cheers." "Another speech." "Dear Jeroen, dear Dominique." "For some people life is a real quest." "A quest for true love." "And if anyone has been on a very intense and active quest, it's Jeroen." "I just think that before you can find true love... you'll have to find yourself." "So that you can be loving and open... and the other can truly know you." "I dearly hope that you have found this... and I wish you a long and happy life." " Wonderful..." "Cheers." " Cheers." "Lisa, will you keep an eye on Mum?" "Oh, it's lovely." "Spaghetti alla carbonara." "With cream." "Camillo, stop it, you stupid child." "Grazie." "You can't say that." "Who made this?" " Your Excellence." " What's this?" " Spaghetti alla carbonara." " And what exactly is in it?" " Cream." " Cream in the carbonara?" " Ladies and gentlemen." " Lisa, stop her." " Now it's my turn to speak." " Too late." "You only marry twice in your life." "As Vera Lon, or Lynn, used to sing: 'We'll meet again.'" "Don't let her sing." "I won't sing tonight, don't worry." "I'm here for something else." "I'm here for you, darling." "Dear Koos, roses whither, buildings decay... but my love for you is here to stay." "I wrote that in my girlfriends' poetry albums." "But it's what I feel for you." "We split up but that was a big mistake." "I still love you a terrible lot and I know you feel the same about me." "That's why... sweetheart..." "Dearest... will you marry me again?" " Marry?" " Yes." "Ah, dearest..." "You never give up, do you?" "It's because I'm so crazy about you." "After all I've done to you?" "All the things I've thrown at you?" "Every marriage has its ups and downs." "But darling, I'm totally bad news." "I never even put the dustbins out." "And I haven't listened to you for ages." "So what?" "I only half listen to you." "Yes, but if we live together it will be sheer disaster." "We tried for 21 years." "We drove each other up the wall." "Of course I love you." "Of course." "But marry you?" "Of course not." " Enjoy." " Enjoy." " Mum?" " Mum, sit down." " No." " Oh, my god." " Bella?" " No." "Mum." " What did he say?" " Sorry." "It was an accident." "It was meant for me." "I'm not afraid of the Italian mafia." "Mafia, yes." "That's right." "Hit him, Koos." "Dad." "Bloody Italians." "Get up." "My family is under attack." "Do something." "Hello?" "Get that man." "Why else did I marry you?" " Dominique, listen." "I made a mistake." " Exactly." "Do something." "Camillo, stop it." "You're only making it worse." "Yes, but he started." "The swine." "It's my wedding." "Out of the way, off with you." "Off." " Sanne." " Are you here to help me?" "I made a terrible mistake." "I love you." "I'm getting fire extinguishers." " I love only you." " You should have thought of that earlier." "Yes, and I did." "I came to see you last winter." "I saw you together with Camillo." "I fooled myself that someone else would be good enough for me." "But I keep thinking of you." "I want to be with you." "Camillo was there for me when I needed him." "If you tell me you love Camillo..." "I'll let you be." "Because I love you so much." "I love everything about you." "Even your perfectionism." "Sanne." " Sanne." " Sorry." "Where are the fire extinguishers?" "A perfect hit." "You will be sorry." "This is going to cost you a lot of money." "Dominique, wait." "I can help you." " Oh, those Italians..." " Oh, those Dutch people." "Don't worry." "You're doing very well, Marla." " Grazie, Mayor." " Call me Vittorio." "Vittorio." "Grazie." "Salute." "I'm sorry." "Ciao." "Oh, you're such a hero." "I won't let you be insulted by the mafia, my love." "Sweet, sweet knight of mine." "Mama..." "Find me an Italian wife." "Carbonara with cream..." "They eat their french fries with mayonnaise." "Ah, my little darling." "Did you sleep well?" "Come." " Is it time?" " Not yet." "But I've got something for you." "This was my mother's." "I want you to wear it." "It's yours now." " Beautiful." " Thank you, Mum." "May you be very happy." "We congratulate Jeroen on being a new citizen of Italy." "Take each other's right hand." "Do you, Jeroen Beukering take..." "Sanne van Straaten to be your lawful wife?" " What is your answer?" " Yes." "And do you, Sanne van Straaten... take Jeroen Beukering to be your lawful husband?" " What is your answer?" " Yes." "Today I'm going to make penne alla carbonara... and I use a traditional Italian recipe." "I cooked my pasta al dente and mixed some bacon in it." "Then I beat my egg yolks, six of them, and now the most important thing:" "I add some cream." "A little cream." "That's how I like it." "They often eat it like that in Italy, right?" "Con crema." "You must have had this recipe from a famous Italian chef." "It is simply the really traditional Italian recipe."