"Alright, does this have anything to do with gamers?" "Because that would just be like.." "an exponent on the weirdness" "Question 1:" "Do you know what a pro gamer is?" "Somebody who plays video games all the time?" "Somebody who plays a lot of games on the computer?" "Somebody who games a lot?" "I don't know.." "It's someone who plays a lot of video games or computer games?" "I would guess that it would be somebody who does nothing but play video games?" "Hardcore games all the time?" "On the internet?" "Who sits around in a dark room.." "with his fingers teetering on keyboards" "Question 2:" "Would you ever date a pro gamer?" "I don't think I'd ever date someone who spent more time with his computer than with me" "They would never have time for me, they'd always be playing games" "I don't think I'd understand what they were saying.." "I don't think we could have conversations" "Depends if he's hot or not" "If any guy would spend more time with his keyboard, and his monitor, than me.. there's a problem" "You're talking about internet gamers.. not like Mario Bros. gamers" "I soft of figure that anybody who plays video games that much, and is hiding behind a computer to that extent.." "has to have something that they're hiding" "I don't do video games" "That doesn't really appeal to me that much.." "someone sitting in front of a computer for 12 solid hours a day, playing games" "There's like a game, like a computer game or something?" "Where there was these people who kept playing and got so into it.." "that there was one guy who forgot to feed his kid, and the kid died" "So that would always be in the back of my mind" "And there's also something else where umm.. it's like the same game where they're like allies or something like that.." "and the guy was betrayed by his friends and so he committed suicide" "I don't think I could handle that" "So has anyone actually wanted to date a gamer?" "That you've seen?" "I think I'm kind of dating one now, but I think he's a closet hardcore gamer" "He doesn't like to admit it" "Well, gamers use their hands 12 hours a day.." "so that could be interesting.." "* I am the pwnage!" "bitches!" "*" "(Subtitle Translations by Your Name)" "So like welcome to episode 2 of y'know.." "like my show" "This episode we're gonna go out.." "like me and Kyle.." "and I'm gonna pick up like lots of girls" "'Cause.. y'know.." "Kyle has I guess like a girlfriend now" "Y'know it's like a friend that's like a girl but you call it a girlfriend if you like kiss her and stuff" "Kyle thinks that maybe I couldn't get girls and I'm telling him I pwn at everything.." "so obviously I'll pwn some girls up y'know.." "like no problem" "I figure I can do that too if Kyle can right" "But he doesn't think so, he like tries to think he pwns me somehow in something" "And I think it shouldn't be a problem.." "I played all the Leisure Suit Larry's" "I pwned those games when I was younger y'know, so.." "I mean really it should be pretty easy right, you just gotta execute the right build order and then you're set" "Y'know it might be cool when I'm like real old and stuff.." "like 30 or something.." "maybe I'll like think about having little nooblets of my own that I can train.." "that'll be uber too.." "like me" "And so.. y'know.. a girl might help that" "Question 3:" "Would you rather date a rich guy, or a guy who has uber-micro?" "Uber-micro?" "I'd go with the rich guy" "A rich guy" "I would rather date a guy who has uber other things" "What the hell is uber-micro?" "I'll take the rich" "Uber-micro?" "I don't even know what that is, please explain the terms" "I don't know what uber-micro is.." "What is uber-micro?" "I'd rather date a rich guy.." "I wouldn't be able to keep up with the uber-micro dude" "I'm gonna go with the rich guy" "Like I don't even know what you want with the running.. it's pretty stupid man" " It's like total Kurosawa" " you look around here What?" "Miyamoto?" " No, no, Kurasawa man" "That's cool.. he made like Mario Bros. and stuff.." "he's got some skills I guess as a.. designerer y'know" " Seven Samurai looking around" " You've got your sword.. you're ready to kill some bitches.. you know what I mean?" "Pwning 'em up" "This better be as cool as you tell me and stuff" "'Cause I don't wanna look like a loser y'know.." "like aggro or something" "I guess this is kinda like a level that you play on" "As long as it's a good level there's no reason I should lose I figure y'know" "I can already tell, like.. they know, they know.." "I'll just sit here.." "I think like, if I sit here and maybe just like.." "practice my micro" "Then they'll know and stuff right" "Once they see I got the micro" "They'll be all over me" "I'm kinda used to that like in the lobbies.. noobs are like "come on and play with me and stuff cause I wanna learn cause you're so good"" "And I'm like "no, I don't have the time.." "I gotta play other people that are better than you and pwn them"" "So that's like how I think the girl situation is gonna go tonight" "So hey, like.. how's it like going?" "Question 4:" "Do you know what the word "noob" means?" "Noob?" "no" "Noob?" "Noob?" "You're joking right?" "No?" "!" "No clue and obviously I'm not a gamer" "I have a life" "I've been told it means someone new to gaming?" "But I don't really know" "What's a noob?" "Please explain" "What does it mean?" "I actually asked somebody today at dinner and they said 'somebody who's new at playing a game'" "Like a game they've never played before" "A noobie" "Question 5:" "Do you find the word "noob" sexy?" "No, not really" "I don't find it attractive at all, no.." "Uhh.. yeah, a bit" "I guess it sounds like lube, but.." "'Cause it rhymes with boob" "I guess it kinda sounds like boob, but.." "I don't know" "Well, it rhymes with boob and lube.. but surprisingly, no" "So like.. hey girls" "You guys see when I pwned fox333 with my uber-micro and stuff?" "Yeah I like pwn 'em up 'cause I like got the micro" "So I tried to like rush the last girls cause I thought they were like noobs and I could just rush 'em and maybe end it quick or something" "So you guys like wanna be my girlfriends or something?" " Uhh.. we're gay" "Oh ok yeah I think Kyle's pretty ghey too" "Kyle's like totally ghey" "But that's pretty weird you'd call yourself ghey" "But they turned out like.. they're pretty good defensively" "Right away they like repelled my attacks" "Y'know like they had good base defense or something" " We're eating right now" "Yeah I eat too like sometimes" " Yeah everyone does.. that's the thing.." "That's cool" "Maybe I got a little bit to learn 'cause I'm not totally pro at it yet, but this is like y'know.." "I just started.." "at least I'm no noob y'know" "Next one's for sure.." "like totally gonna pwn 'em" "Ok that's cool.. that's cool" "Dude did you see that guy man?" "I just met like a guy.. he's real cool he's all like "come back to my house, play some games with me and stuff"" "I'm like man I like pwn games and stuff right" "And he's all like "well come back and play with me" and I tell him this is how I pwn.." "like I pwn like this right and I started spanking and he's all excited and stuff and he's like "yeah, yeah that's like what I do too" and stuff" "So you wanna maybe go back to this guy's like house, dude?" "And maybe play some games with him?" " Jeremy.." " Jeremy he's.." "No, he's cool man" " No, no, no, Jeremy you don't want to go to his place" "No, no, he said he plays good games and stuff" " No, no, no, he's.." " He plays gay games" "Well I mean he probably doesn't play Zero Hour or nothing" " No, no, no, no, like.." "G" " A" " Y.." "GAY" "Oh Warcraft!" "Yeah, yeah, yeah.." " No, no, no.." "He likes guys.. he likes to" "He puts his  in" "What's a orifice?" "Question 6:" "I'm coming at your base with two rockvees and an ambo - you've got a Jarmen, two scorps, and a quad." "What do you do?" "What?" "!" "What kind of question is this?" "Run away?" "Can you repeat that?" "Turn off the machine" "I run for my life" "I don't know what any of those are" "Die?" "I don't know!" "I don't know what that is.." "Run?" "I don't know" "Run?" "Question 7:" "Would you date this guy?" "Uhh.. probably not" "Definitely not.. definitely not" "No.." "I wouldn't" "That noob?" ".." "No" "No" "No" "Absolutely not" "Depends how much I was paid" "Couple hundred would do" "So like it hasn't been like too good for me.." "like I pwn and stuff, but I didn't like.. pwn, y'know?" "So what I'm gonna try next maybe is some like reverse psychology or whatever" "'Cause like I heard that that works sometimes" "So you guys, like.. totally think I'm a noob and stuff, and you totally don't wanna be like my girlfriends" " No, not so much" "The good thing about like Kyle filming me all the time and stuff is that like at least I get to watch the replays y'know" "And like everyone knows like.. replays, they're like the best way to learn y'know" "It's just like a little too bad Kyle didn't get the one time that like I, y'know.. totally succeeded and pwned" "Kyle went to the bathroom for like a minute and this one girl came up and she's all like" ""Hey like I heard you telling those other girls that like you totally pwn at games and stuff"" "and she's like "that's like real sexy.." "like I pwn too, but I probably don't pwn as much as you.." "'cause like I heard you pwn like lots and stuff.." "tell me a story like about your life.." "like how much you pwn.. tell me like a story"" "I'm like.." "I'm like good at that stuff so I'm like" "This one time right I'm playing and like.. y'know I'm playing this other GLA guy right and he's like.. doesn't really know what he's doing 'cause he's like.." "not me and stuff" "So I got like six rank 3 buggies right and I'm like coming in at him like on his palace I'm like.." "on his palace right and his palace is like crumbling and then his palace blows up" "Oh yeah, you're gonna report.. you're gonna report" "But then he tries to snipe one of my guys with like Jarmen, so then like my Jarmen snipes his Jarmen.." "now he's got like no Jarmen and like no palace to rebuild it.." "and all of a sudden my Scud Storm hits like with like the Scud Storm right" "and the dude like quits like on the spot 'cause like I gave him like so much pwnage and stuff right and then so she's all like "wow that's like the coolest story I've like ever heard and stuff"" "and then she like kissed me and stuff like that 'cause she thought I pwned so much the she's like "I gotta go like real quick" and just as she left Kyle like came out of the bathroom so like.." "he like missed it with the camera, so I don't have like a replay but.." "Y'know that's pretty cool" " Yeah Jeremy, sure.." "Hey noobs, I'm gonna like totally like pwn you noobs" "'Cause I pwn you.." "like I pwn you like pretty hard and stuff right" "I'm gonna give you some spanks" "Just like you're like Kyle and you suck ass at all the games you try to play" "'Cause I pwn you.." "I pwn you like pretty hard and stuff right nice" "Pwn you.." "I pwn you like you're like.. somebody's mom trying to play the games" "I.. pwn.. you.. is that on?" "I don't think.." "I will pwn you" "Sometime" "Maybe when we play the game"