"Clifford?" "Jenny." "What a coincidence, bumping into you." "Here." "Not really." "You've been tailing me for the past 15 minutes." "Ah." "You noticed that." "Erm..." "Could I have a quick chat?" "You want to do this here?" "You want to do this in Pizza Express?" "Have a seat." "Thanks." "Look, Clifford, now the dust has settled..." "Cut to the chase, Jenny." "I've got dough balls on the way." "What are the chances of getting my job back?" "Slim to none." "You beat up Patricia Naylor." "With all due respect, I didn't beat up Trish Naylor." "I had a fight with Trish Naylor." "Trish Naylor and I had a fight." "She lost teeth, Jenny." "As it turns out, and this is as much a surprise to me as it is to anyone," "I am very good at fighting." "Just because I won, that doesn't make it all my fault." "Jenny." "We were both responsible for that fight." "It just seems a little bit harsh that I'm fired, while she's enjoying company medical insurance." "Alright, Jenny." "Here's the deal." "If you can see your way to apologising to Patricia, then, maybe, MAYBE we can talk about you returning to the fold." "Clifford, I'm not going to apologise for defending myself." "That makes it sound like it's my fault." "If you won't apologise, then this conversation can go no further." "Well, then I guess this conversation can go no further." "Sam, Becky." "Here's a fun game." "What if you went into Nan and Granddad's house and told them what had happened?" "For jokes." "While I just waited in the car." "Wouldn't that be mad?" "OK." "Let's get this over with." "We're going to wake up to that weird cabbage-y smell every day." "I mean, why is that?" "There's no cabbage being boiled." "The smell must be in the wallpaper." "I bet in a few weeks, we'll all like the cabbage smell as much as we like Glade plug-ins now." "Thank you, Nick." "Oh!" "Oh, look at them!" "Hello, children." "Hi, Mum." "Hi, Dad." "Hi, poppet." "Leonard." "There he is." "Nick." "I like two eggs in the morning, please." "Over easy." "What?" "I'm pretending you're a hotel." "It's just for fun." "I don't even know what "over easy" means." "Gordon Bennett." "How long are you planning on staying?" "A week or a year?" "So, tell us about the house situation." "Have you seen anywhere you like yet?" "Er..." "Not exactly." "You were lucky to sell as quickly as you did, I can tell you." "Number 30's been on and off for a year now." "Yeah." "Mum, about that." "When I said someone had bought the house... what I actually meant was more sort of, erm... legally taken possession of." "What?" "And when I say someone, I mean..." "Santander." "What?" "Formerly the Abbey National." "Hang on a sec." "Let me put my glasses on." "Do you mean to tell me that your house has been repossessed?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "That's right." "How can this have happened?" "Mum, I don't want you to panic." "But recently, I lost my job." "Leonard, shut the curtains." "Children, tell Nana the truth." "Have you eaten anything this week?" "Toothpaste doesn't count." "Alma, please." "You lost your job?" "But you were head of something or other." "I saw your stationery." "What happened?" "It's all very complicated." "My pen!" "My pen!" "Not your pen!" "Not your pen!" "It was an amicable parting of the ways." "So, what are you going to do?" "I'm going to look for another job." "But in the current climate, that might not happen straight away." "Can we help?" "Only if you know somebody in a FTSE-listed company." "Footsie." "Footsie?" "Nick, does this mean that you'll get a job now?" "I have a job, Len." "I think you'll find that entrepreneur is a pretty good job, actually." "Look, you really don't need to worry, Dad." "Honestly." "We've had a setback." "But it's all under control." "In the meantime, we really appreciate you putting us up." "We'd also appreciate it if you kept this quiet." "Where are they?" "Girls, girls." "Look at this." "Look." "Hello, Chrissie." "Destitute." "You've been informed of our situation, then." "Well, I had to tell your sister, didn't I?" "That is what happens if you don't work hard and if you don't listen to Mummy." "How are you feeling, Jen?" "Terrible, I'd imagine." "Pretty devastated." "Did you forget to put the cabbage out, Mum?" "Hmm?" "I thought I could smell.." "No, there's no cabbage." "Now, Jenny, I know that you're proud and you'd never ask for our help, but seriously, me and Nigel have talked about this and I'd like to give you something to help at this difficult time." "No, Chrissie..." "Ah!" "No, no." "I won't take no for an answer." "Please, accept this." "What is it?" "That's an angel, Jenny." "That's your angel." "Oh!" "I didn't know you were religious." "It's got nothing to do with religion, Jenny." "It's an angel." "OK." "Thank you." "Tell it your worries." "Or just put it on your windowsill." "I've given you plenty of those." "Yes." "And a great comfort they are to me, too." "Yes." "I think we'd better be getting a bit of an early night." "Sam and Becky are going to their new school." "Temporary school." "It's pointless even bothering with." "So, why are we even bothering?" "Where are you sending them?" "Why didn't you ask me?" "Just down the road." "To St - Don't say St Joseph's!" "Joseph's." "Well, it's only temporary, isn't it?" "Only me." "Just checking up on my gang of cool dudes." "Gosh." "How long has it been since you last slept in here, hey?" "Ten years." "I remember, because I was four and I thought to myself, "I'm a bit too old for this room."" "Come on." "It's fun." "Just think of it as all the excitement of a night in the cells, but without the criminal record." "You're like cellmates." "You're Ronnie Barker and you're the one who died tragically young." "Dad, we live with some old people in Kettering." "Are we poor now?" "No, Becky." "We're millionaires." "We just haven't been paid yet." "Can I have a Mulberry bag for school?" "Of course not, love." "We're penniless." "Night-night, kids." "Morning!" "The mice will ruin the spreadsheet." "Mum." "God, Mum!" "It's getting on for 6:00am." "Jump in the shower before your dad needs the loo." "Morning, all." "Alright?" "Yeah." "I forgot we sleep in bunk beds now." "That's for waking me up." "Jenny, love, what's your perfect breakfast?" "An espresso and a pain au chocolat brought by an assistant whose name I can't remember." "That's right." "Eggy faces." "Oh, yes." "Very good, Mum." "Smiley faces." "Not just any faces." "Who is it?" "Is it me?" "Holly and Phil." "Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield." "Yes!" "Of course." "I always do a Kate Humble for your dad on Tuesdays." "I've got egg in my laptop." "That's just gone further." "That's further." "That's further." "You shouldn't be playing at the breakfast table, love." "Nail on the head, Alma." "What I need is a proper office." "Ah, now, Nick, I can tell you how to get a proper office." "You take a job and you attend it on a daily basis." "But then I'd have to do work for that company." "Alma, straight question, no agenda." "How much do you really need the kitchen?" "Really, I mean?" "Jenny, take your pick." "Red or blue?" "We're going to go round the house and scrub all the black out of the corners of the windows." "I'd love to help, but I'm going to be out all day." "I'm getting on with the job search." "Jenny, why not stay and help me?" "You know." "Be a proper mum." "A proper mum?" "I'll have you know I'm a very good mum." "Aren't I, Nick?" "A good mum." "I relate to the kids." "Yeah?" "Erm..." "So, kids, any hotties on the radar at school?" "Do you fancy hotties?" "I fancy hotties." "Hey!" "Kids." "What do you fancy in your packed lunches today?" "How about a nice tuna mayonnaise sandwich?" "Or maybe peanut butter?" "Mayonnaise gives me eczema." "And if I eat peanuts, there's a 30% chance I'll die." "Alright." "So, I'm not a details mum." "You know what?" "I provide for my kids and that makes me a good mum." "Fully agree." "Can I have Ј10?" "And that is why I'm going to get a job." "I just don't want you to feel down on yourself, love." "I will get a job." "I guarantee it." "By the time I get home tonight, I will have a job." "Right." "Have fun, guys!" "You'll be great!" "Just look out for each other, OK?" "Thanks, Mum." "Obviously, we can ever be seen together." "Try to talk to me at lunchtime and I will deny you." "The house has definitely gone, has it?" "Oh, yes." "Surely there must be some legal recourse." "I've done all that, Len." "Mr Pope, do you or do you not have a sensible repayment schedule you wish to propose?" "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Opportunity." "I suggest that you let him in." "Mr Pope." "I want to offer you a 20% stake in X-Celsior Refreshments limited." "System's a joke." "Have you no savings at all?" "That's all in the business, Len." "Got to spend your way out of trouble." "Mm-hmm." "Great." "Great." "Over-qualified, if anything." "So, why did you leave your last job?" "My pen!" "My pen!" "Not your pen!" "Er..." "Hello." "You been out looking for jobs?" "I have indeed." "Any luck?" "Nothing concrete." "At this stage." "Oh, Jenny, love." "I do really appreciate this, Mum." "Are you sure you don't mind?" "We didn't exactly give you much notice." "Don't give it another thought." "You're always welcome." "Besides, I'd be lying if I said this was a total surprise." "What?" "I don't know." "Call it what you like." "A mother's intuition." "Frank assessment of your character." "I just thought, the big house, the executive job..." "This will end in tears." "Are you saying you expected me to fail?" "It's not failure to live in your mother's house and help her to iron your father's pants." "Len." "I think, and I'm just going to throw this out there." "I think you're not 100% convinced by my business." "No, it's just a little outside my area of expertise." "No, I'm not offended." "I accept your challenge." "Now, I'll be me." "You be Stelios off of easyJet." "What?" "Meet Hector." "Hector's 43." "My age." "He enjoys the finer things in life." "Fine wines." "Cigars." "Walnuts." "Things that are made out of teak." "Sometimes, Hector needs to stay awake for 24 hours non-stop." "He's got his reasons." "Where does he turn?" "A normal, mid-priced energy drink?" "He doesn't drive a normal, mid-priced car." "He doesn't sleep with a normal, mid-priced wife." "No." "He drinks..." "The energy drink you can take into the boardroom without feeling ashamed." "So." "Would you like to buy 20,000 cans of X-Celsior?" "Sorry." "What is it?" "A fizzy drink?" "It's an executive energy drink." "But, yes." "Yes." "It does effervesce." "In that case, no." "I don't want any." "I don't like fizzy drinks." "No, Len." "You're not Len." "You're Stelios off of easyJet." "Oh, right." "So, Mr Stelios, on behalf of your airline, would you like to purchase 20,000 cans?" "Well, first of all, thank you, Mr Pope, for your charming performance." "No, I'm afraid I won't be buying any tins of drink." "In fact, the best advice I can give you is to quit this business nonsense entirely and get a proper trade." "Could you just say yes, Len?" "Yes." "Yes!" "Morning!" "Good news, lovely." "I found you a job." "No more credit for Branson." "So, Mr Harris, lovely old boy who lives at number 57, his wife's ever so poorly these days." "He'd find it an enormous help if someone else could bathe her two or three times a week." "So, what exactly has that got to do with me?" "They're expecting you by 8:30am tomorrow." "You have to be up." "I'll give you a knock." "You volunteered my services to go and wash an old lady for cash?" "No, of course not." "There'll be no money in it at first, no." "But prove you can do a good job and I daresay there'll be of spending money in it for you." "Dear God." "And believe you me, word spreads fast round here." "There's more than her needs washing." "Hello, Clifford." "It's Jenny Pope." "I'd like to apologise unreservedly to Trish Naylor, please." "OK, Jenny." "Follow me." "Hello... everyone." "Trish thought it was a good idea to have this chat out in the open, in front of everyone." "I just feel safer that way." "We understand, Patricia." "Jenny has been very brave today, coming in to make an apology." "Nowhere near as brave, I'm sure you'll agree, Jenny, as Patricia here, who has agreed to meet her assailant." "Tricia?" "Yeah." "Erm..." "I am very grateful to Jenny for coming in." "If she could make a full and humble apology, that would go a long way in terms of... helping towards my emotional recovery." "Jenny." "Yeah." "Well." "Thank you, Trish." "Erm..." "What can I say?" "I'm just..." "I'm so, so... incredibly... sorry..." "Trish." "If there was something I could do to make things better, I would." "I would." "I'd do it." "I'd do it in a heartbeat." "Clifford, I have an idea, actually." "Patricia?" "You see, that day, it wasn't just me that you punched in the face." "It was the company" "I think it would be a beautiful thing, just a gesture, a start, if Jenny could sing... the company mission statement." "Jenny?" "The company mission statement doesn't have a tune, Trish." "We could choose a tune." "Yes." "Theme from Dad's Army!" "Oh, yes." "I would like that very much." "♪ We strive" "♪ To consistently deliver" "♪ Outcomes convergent" "♪ With the needs of our customer base" "♪ We maximise profitability in our businesses" "♪ While seeking to establish sustainable modes of investment ♪" "I'm sorry." "I just can't hear you." "Hey, you." "Feeling blue?" "Oh, Jenny." "I know things are tough at the moment." "We all know that." "But do you know what?" "We're tough too." "Me, you." "One of the kids." "And we are going to get through this." "The Popes will get through this." "You know, something dawned on me earlier." "Pope rhymes with hope." "And as long as we've got hope, by God, we will rise again." "Thanks, Nick." "We're all in this together." "Kids!" "Right." "Let's go and wash an elderly lady." "OK, Mrs Harris." "Nothing I haven't seen before." "Try not to look at me, if you don't mind, Mrs Harris."