"¶ I don't want a lot for Christmas ¶" "¶ There is just one thing I need ¶" "¶ I don't care about the presents ¶" "¶ Underneath the Christmas tree ¶" "¶ Make my wish come true" "¶ All I want for Christmas" "¶ Is" "¶ You..." "¶ I don't want a lot for Christmas ¶" "¶ There is just one thing I need ¶" "¶ Don't care about the presents ¶" "¶ Underneath the Christmas tree ¶" "¶ I don't need to hang my stocking ¶" "¶ There upon the fireplace" "¶ Santa Claus won't make me happy ¶" "¶ With a toy on Christmas Day" "¶ I just want you for my own" "¶ More than you could ever know ¶" "¶ Make my wish come true" "¶ Baby, all I want for Christmas ¶" "¶ Is you... ¶ Baby ¶" "¶ Oh..." "¶ All I want for Christmas ¶" "¶ Is you ¶ ¶ Oh... ¶ Baby ¶" "¶ All I want for Christmas ¶" "¶ Is you ¶ ¶ All I want for Christmas" "¶ Is you." "(students cheering)" "Best Christmas ever." "Glee S03E09 "Extraordinary Christmas"" "(school bell ringing) Here's my list." "I thought we agreed the "things did wrong this week" list" " was hurting more than helping." " My Christmas list." "I heard you were having a little trouble figuring out what to get me." "I'm freaking out." "I have no idea what to get Rachel for Christmas." "When in doubt, go with socks." " A wok is always good." " What about soil?" "I agree with Artie about the socks." "PUCK:" "You see?" "This is why I don't have a high-maintenance girlfriend." "Or any girlfriend, for that matter." "Who told you?" "Kurt?" " No. (gasps)" " Yes." " But I can't afford all this stuff." " Oh, no, silly." "No, no." "I just put 15 things on the list, and you can pick out five." "Look, in a... in a few weeks, I'm going to find out if I'm a finalist for NYADA or not, and, well, I just..." "I'd really love to have a little Yuletide bauble as a good-luck charm for my audition." "Spray tan?" "Teeth whitening?" "I mean..." "I'm just trying to make it easier for you." "If you'd like, you can make a list for me also." "Well, like the song says, "All I want for Christmas is you."" "Aw." "All I want for Christmas is you, too." "And five things on that list." "I love you." "Holy crap, I'm dating Kim Kardashian." "Wheels, Porcelain, Other Gay, the Yuletide is upon us, and everyone knows that Cistmas is a time for forgiveness, so I have decided to forgive you for having no talent and ruining the American songbook one mash-up at a time." "I've also forgiven you for forcing me to run in and promptly lose an humiliating statewide election." "We... accept your forgiveness?" "Now, Christmas isn't just a time when Jewish kids get slightly uncomfortable and dwarves get jobs as Santa's helpers in demeaning nonunion commercials that make them quietly die inside." "No, Christmas is also a time to give back." "Which is why, this Friday, I am volunteering at the Lima Homeless Shelter." "And I thought maybe you and your fellow glee clubbers might want to pitch in by giving the gift of song." "Coach Sylvester, I've heard you say on several occasions that you don't believe in homelessness." "You said you considered homeless people urban campers." "Can I be honest with you," "Stumbles, Gelfling, young Burt Reynolds?" "(Sue sighs)" "I lost my sister this past year, and this will be my first Christmas without her." "And honestly, I'm just trying to keep myself occupie" "I..." "I made plans to shoot reindeer from a helicopter with Sarah Palin, but she canceled." "Apparently," "Todd gets fussy when she misses his ballet recitals." "We'd be happy to help." "Oh, that's fantastic." "And now, in the spirit of Christmas, get the hell out of my office." "(bell ringing)" "RAEL:" "We might have spent r entire decorating budget for the whole year, but with something that looks as absolutely fabulous as this," "I have to say, brav-ho-ho-ho." "(bell ringing)" "Hey, everybody, listen up." "My man," "Rory Flanagan here, wants to say a few." "Thanks, Finn Hudson." "So, guys, my mummy was going to come visit for the holidays, but plane tickets are expensive, so it's my first Christmas without any family." "I'd like to cheer myself up by dedicating this song to them... and to the King." "Jesus?" "(Elvis Presley's "Blue Christmas" begins)" "¶ I'll have a blue" "¶ Christmas" "¶ Without you" "¶ I'll be so blue" "¶ Just thinking" "¶ About you" "¶ You'll be doing all right" "¶ With your Christmas of white" "¶ But I'll" "¶ Have a blue" "¶ Blue, blue, blue Christmas" "¶ I'll have a blue" "¶ Christmas ¶ Ooh, ooh ¶" "¶ That's certain" "¶ And when the blue" "¶ Heartache stops hurting" "¶ Ooh, ooh ¶" "¶ You'll be doing all right" "¶ With your Christmas of white" "¶ But I'll" "¶ Have a blue" "¶ Blue" "¶ Christmas" "¶ Ooh ¶" "¶ Ooh..." "Gosh, that song was so depressing." "I may actually be dead right now." "I-I think, what Santana means is, although that... that was mournfully beautiful, now that the whole glee club is back together," "I think that we should focus on the more joyous and the pageant aspect of this holiday season." "Rachel's right." "Last Christmas was super sad." "Kurt was at another school," "Coach Sylvester trashed everything, and Artie got a pair of magic legs that broke the next day." "We were the island of misfit toys." "This year is going to be..." "This year, it's a whole new sprig of mistletoe." "Guess who's not getting coal in their stockings foonce... us." "Rory, have a seat." "just got off the phone with Don Borowski, the local station manager at Lima's PBS affiliate." "Turns out that their annual broadcast of the Yule log burning has been canceled." "The hell?" "Yeah, they can't afford the licensing fees anymore." "But thank you, Scrooges who own that copyright, because Don came to Sectionals, he loved what we did and he is offering us..." "RACHEL:" "A Christmas special featuring all of us?" "Okay, please say you said yes." "Not only did I say yes, but when Don said that they were looking for a director for the special," "I nominated you, Artie." " Me?" " Yeah." "He saw West Side Story, loved your work, and he wants to take a meeting." "But I..." "I swore I would never sell out and do television." "I'm really going to have to think about this, Mr. Shue." "(bell ringing)" "I'll have to show you my locker stacking secrets so that never happens again." "Is that your family?" "The whole Flanagan clan." "It's hard, isn't it?" "Being away from them." "It's so hard." "It's harder than I ever imagined." "I know the feeling." "I'm only a few hours away from my family, and I miss them like crazy." "What are you going to do for Christmas this year?" "I'm even not sure." "Brittany and her family are going on a trip to see a gay Santa." "Something about Santa Fe." "Why don't you spend the holiday with, uh, my family?" "I-I need help staying awake on the drive, plus, this whole week," "I'll be your Christmas sponsor." "Really show you what the holiday spirit's about in the USA." "That'd be so awesome, Sam." "BOROWSKI:" "I am absolutely delighted that our channel's Christmas special is being directed by a teenage disabled boy." "You're like a modern day Tiny Tim." "Oh." "I am sorry." "Tiny Tim could walk." "In the spirit of Christmas, I'm going to pretend you never said that." "Here's the dealio, Mr. Borowski." "I have two ironclad demands." "The first one came to me last night in a dream." "(growling)" "The Wookiee was right." "The best Christmas show of all time is" "The Star Wars Holiday Special, shown only once in 1978, then locked away in the Lucasfilm vault like the precious jewel it is." "Every fanboy in the galaxy knows it's completely awesome." "Therefore, Star Wars must be a part of our Christmas special." "And I also want to shoot it in black and white." "Black and white?" "It will be an homage to the second best special of all time, the Judy Garland Christmas show." "You know, some s Judy was high on pills and booze, but..." "I say she was high on excitement and Baby Jesus." "Kid, you can shoot the thing in 3-D, starring a flock of pigeons, as long as you can produce it for under 800 bucks." "I can do it, sir." "I know I can." "(Joni Mitchell's "River" begins)" "¶ It's coming on Christmas" "¶ They're cutting down trees" "¶ They're putting up reindeer" "¶ And singing songs of joy and peace ¶" "¶ Oh, I wish I had a river" "¶ I could skate away on" "¶ I wish I had a river so long" "¶ I would teach my feet" "¶ To fly" "¶ Oh, I wish I had a river" "¶ I could skate away on" "¶ I made my baby cry" "¶ He tried hard to help me" "¶ You know, he t me at ease" "¶ He loved me so naughty" "¶ Made me weak in the knees" "¶ Oh, I wish I had a river" "¶ I could skate away on." "(applause)" "(whispers):" "Yeah." "Rachel, could you come see me?" "Yes, Artie, of course." "And if this is about my ears," "I know that they're a little naked right now, but that's just because I'm waiting for something special." "Something that's really gonna sparkle and, you know, catch the light." "So what's up?" "It's not about your ears, it's about your song." "It makes me want to kill myself." "I'm sorry, Joni Mitchell is not depressing, she's emotional." "It doesn't fit my vision for our Christmas spectacular." "And what is that exactly?" "We begin in the Swiss Alps, in the village of Gstaad, in the perfely-appointed living room of Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson's chic swank chalet." "The tree towering and opulent." "The fireplace draped in garlands." "The stockings bejeweled." "Kurt and Blaine, the perfect hosts have invited their friends to drop in for an evening of Noel Coward-esque banter and fun, happy, cheer-filled songs." "Are you telling me I'm not invited to Kurt and Blaine's for Christmas?" "Not unless you pick a happier song." "The evenins festivities conclude with Rory, dressed as the Christmas elf Itchy, reciting "Frosty the Snowman."" "Start with fun, end with fun." "That's how you do it, kids." "The Frosty story isn't fun." "At the end, he melts and dies." "I'm rebooting Frosty." "In my version, he doesn't melt." "He..." "Well, new pages forthcoming." "What's wrong with a story that's a little sad or a song that's a little depressing?" "I mean, that's part of Christmas, too, right?" "It's the sad things that make you remember what's really important." "Sorry, Sam, but the phrase is "Merry Christmas," not "morose Christmas."" "That's the vision." "That's what you have to buy into." "Well, sorry, Artie, I'm not buying into it." "I'm gonna go downtown, see if I can ring one of those Salvation Army bells." "Come on, Rory." "I'll give you a ride." "I should memorize my part, Sam." "(Bell ringing)" "Hey." "Bummer about Artie going all Scrooge on your song." "I'm getting a song in that Christmas special." "Christmas is all about giving, and Artie certainly wouldn't be in the Christmas spirit if he didn't let me give my talents to the people of Western Ohio." "At least, the ones who don't have cable." "Speaking of giving, don't you think it would be a shame for me to sing on television for the first time without me sparkling in the glow of one of your generous gifts?" "Oh, you want me to give you your present early?" "I hadn't even thought about that, but what a sweet idea." "Yeah." "Okay, yeah." "All right." "Okay." "Usually it comes in a box, but..." "Okay." "Where's my bling?" "Well, that was a little out of my-my price range, but-but then I saw this commercial for these African sow pigs you can adopt." "You pay, like, two bucks a month to fatten them up for a whole year, and then they feed a family for, like, a month." "You gave me a dead pig for Christmas?" "No, no, it's not dead yet;" "you got to get it fat first." " I'm a vegan." " Look, I thought" "Christmas was about giving, okay?" "Which is why I gave you a super specific list." "Look... it's very sweet that you gave me a pig..." "It's an African sow pig." "Whatever it is, I..." "I appreciate it." "But I made you a list so that you wouldn't embarrass yourself like this." "I'm not asking for much." "All I want is what's coming to me." "All I want is my fair share." "Guess I'll give the sow pig to my mom or something." "That is such a great idea." "It's gonna be the best Chrtmas ever." "(bell ringing)" "(playing "Extraordinary Merry Christmas")" "¶ He came into my dreams last night ¶" "¶ A great, big man in red and white ¶" "¶ He told me that it's gonna be ¶" "¶ A special year for you and me ¶" "¶ Underneath the mistletoe" "¶ Hold me tight and kiss me slow ¶" "¶ The snow is high, so come inside ¶" "¶ I want to hear you say to me" "¶ It's a very, very, merry, merry Christmas ¶" "¶ Even better than the one before ¶" "¶ Gonna party on till Santa grants my wishes ¶" "¶ Think he's knocking on my front door ¶" "¶ Got my halo on, I know what I want ¶" "¶ It's who I'm with" "¶ It's an extraordinary merry Christmas ¶" "¶ Won't you meet me by the tree?" "¶" "¶ Slip away so secretly" "¶ Can't you see how this could be?" "¶" "¶ The greatest gift of all" "¶ It's a very, very, merry, merry Christmas ¶" "¶ Even better than the one before ¶" "¶ Gonna stay with you till Santa grants my wishes ¶" "¶ Think he's knocking on my front door ¶" "¶ Got my halo on, I know what I want ¶" "¶ It's who I'm with" "¶ It's an extordinary merry Christmas ¶" "¶ Even better than the one before ¶" "¶ It's a very, very, merry, merry Chrtmas ¶" "¶ Even better than the one before ¶" "¶ It's an extraordinary merry Christmas. ¶" "I bow to you." "(sighs):" "Oh, God." "Gold." "Gold!" "That's what I'm talking about!" "I see Cheerios behind you, kind of a dancing Santa thing." "Just as long as they don't upstage us." "Yeah, as long as they don't upstage us." "Good." "Look at you do-gooders." "Hard at work." "Coach Sylvester, we're in the middle of rehearsal." "Yeah, and I think it's great you're working so hard on your performance." "And I'll tell you what." "Everyone at the homeless shelter is really looking forward to the show." "I just wanted to confirm with you, Artie, that we're on for Friday night." "Oh, Friday." "It's a no-can-do on Friday." "We're taping our Christmas special for the Lima PBS." "You told me you were in." "This is a huge opportunity for us." "Can we just do it another night?" "Homeless will be homeless for a while." "That's sort of the problem." "I promised them." "You don't want to disappoint these kids." "Hmm, like your behavior has disappointed us for years?" "Last Christmas, you cut down our tree, you stole our presents and you made Becky dress up like a reindeer." "So you're gonna walk away from people who have nothing?" "No, not at all." "We're just gonna distract them from their plight and the smell of urine and make them happy with our glamorous Christmas cheer." "The homeless don't have TVs." "So you're all agreed on this?" "Fine." "Merry Christmas." "Let's take it from the top, guys." "And remember, smile." "ANNOUNCER:" "Live from Lima, Ohio, it's the Glee Holiday Spectacular!" "(Mos Eisley Cantina theme playing)" "Starring Rachel Berry, Finn Hudson and Noah Puckerman," "Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson," "Mike Chang and Tina Cohen-Chang, no relation featuring Mercedes Jones and Rory Flanagan, with special guests Santana Lopez," "Brittany S. Pierce and the Cheerios." "The Glee Holiday Spectacular is directed by Artie Abrams." "Tonight's special is brought to you by Breadstix." "Now with even more breadsticks." "ARTIE:" "Are we live?" "And action!" "("Let It Snow" playing)" "¶ Oh, the weather outside is frightful ¶" "¶ But the fire is so delightful ¶" "¶ And since we've no place to go ¶" "¶ Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow ¶" "¶ It doesn't show signs of stopping ¶" "¶ And I bought some corn for popping ¶" "¶ The lights are turned way down low ¶" "¶ Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow ¶" "¶ When we finally kiss good night ¶" "¶ How I'll hate going out in the storm ¶" "¶ But if you really hold me tight ¶" "¶ Then all the way home I'll be warm ¶" "¶ The fire is slowly dying" "¶ And, my dear, we're still good-bye-ing ¶" "¶ But as long as you love me so ¶" "¶ Let it snow, let it snow, let it, let it snow ¶" "(scatting)" "(scatting)" "¶ Oh, the weather outside is frightful ¶" "¶ But the fire is so delightful ¶" "¶ And since we've no place to go ¶" "¶ Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow ¶" "¶ The weather outside is frightful ¶" "¶ But the fire is so delightful ¶" "¶ And since we've no place to go ¶" "¶ Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow ¶" "¶ It doesn't show signs of stopping ¶" "¶ And I've bought some corn for popping ¶" "¶ The lights are turned way down low ¶" "¶ Let it snow" "¶ When we finally kiss good night ¶" "¶ Finally kiss good night" "¶ How I'll hate going out in the storm ¶" "¶ But if you finally hold me tight ¶" "¶ Finally hold me tight" "¶ Then all the way home I'll be warm ¶" "¶ And, my dear, we're still good-bye-ing ¶" "¶ But as long as you love me so ¶" "¶ Let it snow, let it snow" "¶ Oh" "¶ Oh, oh" "¶ Oh, let it snow ¶ Oh, let it snow." "(applause)" "Hello." "Well, I guess we're all in the spirit of the season by now." "Let me apologize for not introducing myself sooner." "I'm Kurt Hummel, one of your hosts this evening." "(applause)" "Thank you." "And this is my, um..." "best friend and holiday roommate, Blaine Anderson." "(applause)" "How do you do?" "Welcome to our bachelor chalet." "We've also asked a few of our other special friends to dp by." "But I hope they can make it over the mountains and through the woods in this dreary weather." "Oh, come on, now, Kurt." "You know if they get stuck in the snow, they can always hitch a ride on Santa's sleigh." "(laughter)" "Oh, you!" "Hey, it's true." "Oh!" "(scoffs)" "Oh, I'm terribly sorry for keeping yo standing outside, shivering on the porch." "Please, come in." "Please, come in." "Watch your step." "Come on now." "Don't be shy." "Please, come, come." "Come right on in." "Make yourself at home." "Blaine, please offer our guests some holiday libations." "I apologize, but I must check my bid on the Elizabeth Taylor Christie's jewelry auction online." "(laughter) Kurt." "Oh, no!" "Oh, what happened?" "Did Mariah outbid you on that necklace you wanted?" "That I could take." "The Internet is down because of this inclement weather." "I didn't get to put my bid in on time." "Christmas is canceled!" "(doorbell rings)" "Who could that be?" "The door's open." "Come on in." "(applause) Oh, sorry, we're late." "Hope there's still eggnog." "For you two, always." "Oh, Kurt, how are you?" "You look great." "I love what you've done with the place." "Just a splash of color." "May me take your sweater?" "Blaine." "Oh, forgive me." "Everyone, these are our very good friends," "Rachel Berry, Mercedes Jones." "(applause) at's going on, boys?" "Well, we're on television." "Oh, television?" "Us, too?" "Hello." "This is for you, Kurt." "For me?" "May I open it?" "Oh, I wish you would." "Oh, my dear." "Oh, what is in here?" " Here we go." " Ooh." "Oh, my goodness!" "Oh, my dears!" "How did you know?" "Ladies and gentlemen, if you can believe it, from the Elizabeth Taylor auction, ladies and gentlemen, it's Miss Taylor's diamond and emerald necklace and pendant." "(audience exclaims) Oh!" "(applause)" "Thank you." "Thank you so much." "I cannot believe it." "It is truly a Christmas miracle." "Truly a Christmas knockoff." "(audience laughter) (gasps)" "Mercedes, don't give away all of our secrets." "Blaine, this is for you." "Oh, why, thank you so much, Rachel." "It's a bow tie with little Christmas trees on it." "Oh, would you look at that?" "Would you look at that?" "(applause)" "And there's a little surprise under the wrapping paper." "Why, they're candy cane striped Capri pants." "You know what the best part is?" "I actually don't already own a pair." "If you can believe that." "(laughter)" "Oh, jewels and short pants and bow ties and good friends." "Truly, this is an ideal evening." "But, Blaine, you know what's really needed now." "Oh, I think I do." "Rachel, Mercedes?" "Oh, we couldn't possibly." "We're not prepared!" "Oh, come now." "The piano's just sitting there, its ivories waiting to be tickle" "Well, there is a little something that we've been working on." "(applause) I'm in if you are." "Well, it is Christmas, after all." " That's just grand." " Come on." "Let's go." "Oh, Kurt, Mercedes, Blaine, you know, I've realized that there's some favorite things that can't be bought line or in a store or even in a catalog." "They're right here in front of my nose." "For instance..." "Raindrops and roses and whiskers on kittens" "¶ Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens ¶" "¶ Brown paper packages tied up with strings ¶" "¶ These are a few of my favorite things ¶" "¶ Cream-colored ponies and crisp apple strudels ¶" "¶ Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles ¶" "¶ Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings ¶" "¶ These are a few of my favorite things ¶" "¶ Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes ¶" "¶ Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes ¶" "¶ Silver white winters that melt into springs ¶" "¶ These are a few of my favorite things ¶" "¶ When the dog bites, when the bee stings ¶" "¶ When I'm feeling sad" "¶ I simply remember my favorite things ¶" "¶ And then I don't feel... ¶ So bad" "¶" "¶ Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens ¶" "¶ Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens ¶" "¶ Brown paper packages tied up with strings ¶" "¶ These are a few of my favorite things ¶" "¶ Cream-colored ponies and crisp apple strudels ¶" "¶ Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with ndles ¶" "¶ Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings ¶" "¶ These are a few of my favorite things ¶" "¶ Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes ¶" "¶ Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes ¶" "¶ Silver white winters that melt into spring ¶" "¶ These are a few of my favorite things ¶" "¶ When the dog bites, when the bee stings ¶" "¶ When I'm feeling sad" "¶ I simply remember my favorite things ¶" "¶ And then I don't feel... ¶ So bad." "(applause)" "(indistinct conversation)" "Say, when's Christmas dinner?" "Oh, no, you guys!" "With all the guests and the songs," "I forgot to turn on the oven." "OTHERS:" "Kurt!" "(audience laughter)" "Oh, great." "Whatever else could go wrong?" "I suppose we'll have to find out... after these messages from our sponsors." "KURT:" "And then I said to Justin Timberlake, "That's not eggnog!"" "(laughter)" "Gee whiz, you guys, it's really coming down out there." "Blaine is right, you guys." "Global climate change is no laughing matter." "Our overreliance on fossil fuels is causing erratic weather patterns like this one." "I think these are the end times." "(laughter)" "Well, if there's one thing we can all agree on is that if it keeps snowing like this," "Santa Claus won't be able to bring us our presents." "(bells jingling in distance)" "Wait!" "Did you hear that?" "Jingle bells?" "(doorbell rings)" "Sorry, guys." "Just us." "(applause)" "Hello." "Oh!" "How rude of me." "Ladies and gentlemen," "Finn Hudson and Noah Puckerman!" "(applause)" "(thud) Ooh!" "Say, are you dressed like Luke Skywalker and Han Solo?" "No." "That's copyright infringement." "Any resemblance to Star Wars characters is purely coincidental." "(audience laughter)" "Hey, guys, why the long faces?" "It's Christmas Eve or something." "We thought we heard Santa Claus, but with the climate change and end times, we just don't think Santa Claus is coming to town." "Well, that's not what we heard." "¶ Oh, you better watch out" "¶ You better not cry" "¶ You better not pout, I'm telling you why ¶" "¶ Santa Claus is coming to town ¶" "¶ Santa Claus is coming to town ¶" "¶ Santa Claus is coming" "¶ To town" "¶ He's making a list, he's checking it twice ¶" "¶ He'gonna find out who's naughty or nice ¶" "¶ Santa Claus is coming to town ¶" "¶ Santa Claus is coming to tow¶" "¶ Santa Claus is coming" "¶ To town" "(tempo increases)" "¶ Oh, you better watch out" "¶ You better not cry" "¶ You better not pout, I'm telling you why ¶" "¶ Santa Claus is coming to town ¶" "¶ Santa Clause is coming to town ¶" "¶ Santa Claus is coming to town ¶" "Ho, ho, ho, ho!" "(harmonica playing)" "(applause)" "¶ You'd better watch out, you'd better not cry ¶" "¶ You better not pout, I'm telling you why ¶" "¶ Santa Claus is coming to town ¶" "¶ Yeah" "¶ Santa Clause is coming to town ¶" "¶ Santa Claus is coming to ¶" "¶ Santa Claus is coming to town. ¶" "(song ends, applause)" "(quiet chatter) oorbell rings)" "Oh, my stars." "More guests?" "I hope it's carolers!" "(laughter)" "¶" "¶ "Bah, humbug!" No, that's too strong ¶" "¶ 'Cause it is my favorite holiday ¶" "¶ But all this year's been a busy blur ¶" "¶ Don't think I have the energy to add ¶" "¶ To my already mad rush" "¶ Just 'cause it's 'tis the season ¶" "¶ The perfect gift for me would be ¶" "¶ Completions and connections left from last year ¶" "¶ Ski shop, encounter most interesting ¶" "¶ Had his number, but never the time ¶" "¶ Most of '81 passed along those lines ¶" "¶ So deck those halls, trim those trees ¶" "¶ Raise up cups of Christmas cheer ¶" "¶ I just need to catch my breath ¶" "¶ Christmas by myself this year ¶" "(instrumental interlude)" "¶ Merry Christmas, Merry Christs ¶" "¶ Couldn't miss this one this year ¶" "¶ Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas ¶" "¶ Couldn't miss this one this year ¶" "¶ Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas ¶" "¶ Couldn't miss this one this year ¶" "¶ Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas ¶" "¶ Couldn't miss this one this year. ¶" "(applause)" "All my Christmas wishes came true." "All except for one." "(bell ringing, Rachel gasps)" "RACHEL;" "Oh, my goodness, could it be?" "Could it be?" "ALL:" "Itchy the Holiday Elf." "We asked our friend Itchy to stop by and read us a lighthearted, heartwarming, upbeat, happy Christmas tale," ""Frosty the Snowman."" "Actually, I was going to read that, but..." "I searched my heart, and I'm going to read one from a different book." "I think it's something that's going to remind people what the true spirit of Christmas really is." "Are you sure you don't want to read "Frosty"?" "We all really want to hear "Frosty."" "Lights, please." ""And there were in the same country" ""shepherds abiding in the field," ""keeping watch over their flock by night." ""And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them," ""and the glory of the Lord "shone around them." ""And the angel said unto them, 'Fear not." ""'For behold," ""'I bring ye good tidings" ""'of great joy, which shall be to all people:" ""'for unto you is born this day in the city of David a savior," ""which is Christ the Lord.'" ""And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude" ""of the heavenly host, praising God and saying," ""'Glory to God in the highest," ""'and on earth, peace, goodwill toward men.'"" "(piano playing "Jingle Bells")" "What?" "Everyone's just been telling me you've been having a rough year, but you seem pretty od to me." "I'm better." "Think I was just stuck focusing on everything I didn't have and none of the stuff that was good." "Stuff in the future." "I'm glad you turned it around." "You deserve good things, Quinn." "I'm trying." "SUE:" "Ah, ah, ah, ah!" "Portion control, Bee Sting." "Come on." "Guess you're just not used to being on this side of the serving line." "Seriously though, I don't think we have enough food for everybody." "Yeah." "Economy gets bad, people give less." "Hey!" "I know we're late, but we were all hoping there's still time to help." "We brought the turkey from the special with all the fixings." "Yeah, it's a prop but it's real." "Why don't you put it on the table over there, kiddo." "You guys finally me around." "Well, you can thank Rory for helping us see the light." "I was just following my Christmas sponsor's lead." "Would it be weird if I made myself a plate?" "We have a song, too." "We were gonna perform it as our final number for our Christmas special, but we lost the final ten minutes of airtime when the station reached a last-second agreement with those Yule log people." "As long as it's not "Jingle Bells."" "It seems it's the only song our janitor knows how to play, and I'm bleeding from the ears." "If you'd be so kind." " Sure." " Love your "Jingle Bells" though." "("Dohey Know It's Christmas?" playing)" "¶ It's Christmastime" "¶ There's no need to be afraid" "¶ At Christmastime" "¶ We let in light and we banish shade ¶" "¶ And in our world of plenty" "¶ We can spread a smile of joy" "¶hrow your arms around the world at Christmastime ¶" "¶ But say a prayer" "¶ Pray for the other one" "¶ Oh, at Christmastime, it's hard ¶" "¶ But when you're having fun" "¶ There's a world outside your window ¶" "¶ And it's a world of dread and fear ¶" "¶ Where the only water flowing" "¶ Is the bitter sting of tears" "¶ And the Christmas bells that ring ¶" "¶ Are the clanging chimes of doom ¶" "¶ Well, tonight thank God it's them ¶" "¶ Instead of you" "¶ And there w't be snow in Africa this Christmastime ¶" "This Christmastime, no ¶" "¶ The greatest gift they'll get this year is life ¶" "¶ Is life" "¶ Where nothing ever grows" "¶ Nothing ever grows" "¶ No rain or rivers flow" "¶ Do they know it's Christmastime at all?" "¶" "¶ Yeah" "¶ Feed the world" "¶ Let them know it's Christmastime ¶" "¶ Feed the world" "¶ Let them know it's Christmastime ¶" "¶ Feed the world" "¶ Let them know it's Christmastime ¶" "¶ Feed the world" "¶ Let them know it's Christmastime again. ¶" "(school bell ringing)" "Just the guy I was looking for." "Hi." "I wanted you to know that I named my pig." "The African sow pig?" "Yep." "Come here." "Her name is Barbra." "(laughs) After my hero." "I mean, I'm assuming that she's a girl." "But I just hope that pig Barbra inspires all of the children who eat her as much as the real Barbra inspired me." "So it's a kosher sow pig?" "Yeah." "Look, the important thing is, is that I just want you to know that I'm really sorry." "Okay, I-I love her and I love you, and that's all that matters to me on Christmas." "Okay?" "Well, I-I'm glad you like the pig..." "Barbra." "Barbra." "But, uh, then I realized that once they kill and eat Barbra, you're not gonna have anything to show for this year's Christmas." "So I got you something else." "You ready?" "Yes." "It's your own star." "You named a star after me?" "Well, no." "I, uh, I thought about that, but then I named it Finn Hudson." "Because there's already a star named Rachel Berry." "And she's right here on earth and she's brighter than any of those stars up there." "So I just wanted to make sure that whenever she feels lonely, she can look up in theky, and no matter where I am, she can know that I'm looking down on her." "When it's nighttime." "I love this." "I'm gonna put it up right over here." "And, uh, just in case it's-it's cloudy or, uh, the middle of the daytime or the star explodes in some massive supernova... (chuckles)" "these should shine just as bright." " It's too much." " No, no, it's okay." "I-I hawked my letterman jacket on eBay, so..." "No, no." "It's too much wonderful for one girl." "I mean, I get the-the guy and the stars and..." "The pig." "I think it's time that I start giving back." "Come on." "Let's go get our coats." "(bell ringing)" "(bell jingling)" "These bells make me homesick." "You mean, like church bells and stuff?" "No." "My brother Shamus gets lost all the time, so my dad made him wear a bell around his neck so we could always find him." "Smart." "Merry Christmas." "Sam, I was wondering if maybe you'd like to be my Valentine's Day sponsor as well." "I mean, you did such a good job being a Christmas sponsor," "I figured you'd have no problem helping me land a snog or two by February." "Deal." "But you have to help me learn to perfect my Sean Connery." "I'm telling you, impressions are the best way to get a chick." "(grunts)" "Whoa!" "(laughs)" "So how's business, guys?" "Uh, a little slow." "But the revival house across the street is showing It's a Wonderful Life, so pretty sure we'll clean up when it gets out." "Well, just in case, we wanted to make our own little contribution to the cause." "Sure you want to do this, Rachel?" "Yes." "I already got my Christmas present." "All right, guys." "Whoa, did you guys knock off a liquor store or something?" "(laughs)" "No, we just finally realized what really matters." "Yeah, we returned the earrings that Finn got me for Christmas and the iPod that I bought him." "We decided we wanted to do something special this year for Christmas." "We've got a couple of extra bells if you want to join in." "We'd love to." "(bells jingling)" "Best Christmas ever." " Merry Christmas." " Merry Christmas." "Happy Hanukkah." "(imitating Sean Connery):" "Happy holidays." "Thank you so much." "Thank you."