"My daughter means the world to me." "Her happiness is my happiness." " I don't know what to say." " The proposal is very simple." "While you're working here with me in mercy, you and Rayyan will go on a series of chaperoned date." "Very Islamic." "Very traditional." " And then you get married." " What?" "Okay, hopefully, you get married." "Why get hung up on the details?" " Yes, but..." " J.J." "Your father and I go back a long way." "You're like family." "You could say you're like a son to me." "Wouldn't that make Rayyan my sister?" "Okay, scratch that last part." "The point is..." "Rayyan is on board." " Seriously?" " Yes." "She- she's really interested in..." " in me?" " Uh-huh." "How- how interested?" "Well, I don't know." "You'd have to ask her yourself." "But I wouldn't recommend it frankly, because you're coming off a touch needy." "Well... if Rayyan has agreed, then I don't see any reason not to." "Juanaid Jafer, you've made me very happy." " I'm glad." " Glad nothing." "Who wouldn't be happy at a time like this?" "You don't look happy." " I, uh..." " I know that you and Rayyan are close." "And that's why I wanted you to be the first to know." "Obviously, Rayyan knows." "and J.J." "And I also told Sarah." "Hey buddy..." "You okay with this?" "I ran into him in the hallway." "Season 2 Episode 18 Security Alert" "So... are you okay?" "No, I'm not okay." "I'm freezing." "Well, you live in the un-insulated loft of a church." "It's drafty as hell." "When I moved in, you said it was cozy." "I was speaking "landlord"." "Totally different language." "Anyway, I was talking about J.J. and Rayyan." "Ah, it's never going to happen." "Rayyan's not going to get backed into some sort of arranged marriage." " Of course not, she's her own..." " seriously," "I'm not worried." "I didn't say you were worried." "Are you worried?" "'Course I'm not worried." "That's why I said I'm not worried." " Okay, okay." "Don't worry about it." " I'm not..." " Sorry." " No worries." "Checkmate." " Well, this is nice." " Mm-hmm." "Mm-hmm." "Why don't you and I give them a little privacy, honey?" "Mmm?" "Yes." " This is awkward." " Yeah!" "I thought it was awkward before she whispered "this is awkward"." "So what are we supposed to do exactly?" "We're supposed to ask each other questions." "Like a... job interview." "Okay." "Um... um..." "So, uh, okay." "what's your..." "what's your favourite food?" "Uh, mini-doughnuts." "What's your favourite colour?" " Purple." " Purple?" "I don't..." "I don't have a favourite colour." "Who does the housework:" "Husband or wife?" " Both." " Hmm." " No, wait." "Let the kids do it." " Done." "See you at the wedding." "Well, maybe let's just see how this first date goes and take it from there." "I guess we need a chaperone." "I'll do it!" "I guess we need a chaperone." "I'll do it!" "Nice of them to give us our privacy." "I'll get it!" "Just pretend I'm not here." " It's a cordless phone, maybe you..." " I'll just be a minute." "Hello?" "Amaar?" "Yes, just..." "Slow down." "What happened?" "Ahh... probably just kids." "Uh, what makes you say that?" "Well, in 90% of these cases, that's what we say." "What happened?" "Well, I was getting ready for bed and I heard a lot of weird noises." "Did you see anyone when you came downstairs?" "I didn't come downstairs." " Why not?" " Weird noises." "Oh-h." "So they got you too, huh?" "I thought you went home." "I did." "The church has a silent alarm." "Why doesn't the mosque have a silent alarm?" "How do you know it doesn't?" "There's a mind scrambler." "It doesn't look like they've taken anything." "I'll install new locks on the weekend." " Good night, Amaar." " Uh, ah... you guys are going home?" "Well, it's the middle of the night." "We're not going bowling." "It's just that I, uh, feel creeped out." "Well, if you're frightened to stay here, you can always come and sleep on my couch." "No, no." "Of course not." "I..." "I'm a big boy." "Don't worry about me." "Go." "Good night." "Not going bowling." "So you didn't sleep at all?" "Who knows?" "Maybe I just dreamt I was awake." "Well, you know, you can always come and stay with Sarah and me until the new locks are put in." "But I assure you, there's no danger." " So, what's the safe for?" " You can't be too careful." " What's in there?" " Keepsakes." "Mementos." "Bric-a-brac." "So it's full of garbage." "Not garbage." "Bric-a-brac." " Good thing the thieves didn't find it." " Pfft." "You're telling me." " Glad I found you." " Found me?" "We agreed to meet for lunch." " We did?" " Mm-hmm." "I should get a day-timer." "So what's up?" "Well, I can't chaperone your date with J.J. tonight." "Can dad chaperone?" "No!" "No, there's a Magnum-a-thon on tonight." " A what?" " A "Magnum, P.I." marathon." " Who's "Magnum, P.I."?" " He's a private detective." " So why is he running a marathon?" " Never mind." "Oh, hey, Fatima." "Could you chaperone my date with J.J. tonight?" "I have to work." "Yeah, that's okay." "Rayyan and J.J. can just have dinner here." "No, I don't want our first date to be at Fatima's." "Sets the bar too high." "Second date could only disappoint." "Nice try." "What about Baber?" "What?" "Do I have crumbs on my beard?" "Rayyan needs a chaperone for a date." "I see." "What sort of date?" "J.J. and I want to go see a movie tonight: "Gabrielle's Heart"." "No!" "None of this sinful night-dating." "If I am going to be chaperone, we will go on a proper outing in the daytime." "I propose a nature hike, hmm?" ""Magnum, P.I." it is." "Is night-dating really sinful?" "No." "I just don't want to watch a movie called "Gabrielle's Heart"." "Ugh." "So are you sure you don't mind if J.J. and I join you tonight?" "Does "Magnum, P.I." mind wearing a Hawaiian shirt?" "Yes...?" "No!" "He's his own man." "Anyway, it'll be fun." "Just the four of us." " The four of us?" " Salaam aleikum." "Waleikum salaam." "Waleikum salaam." "What are you doing here?" "I'm going to stay with you guys for a couple of days." "I'm... having some work done on my apartment." "Sure." "Let's go with that." "Anyway, it'll be fun to hang out." "We haven't done it for a while." "Yeah." "Um..." "J.J.'s coming over." " Okay." "Uh, I can leave." " Uh, are you sure?" " I mean, you can stay..." " You're the boss!" "So, are you okay?" " I haven't seen you since this whole..." " Why is everyone asking if I'm okay?" "Rayyan, I'm fine." "You have my blessing." "What blessing?" "I'm talking about the break-in." "Right." "Break-in." "Very unsettling." "Um... anyway, you won't even know I'm here tonight." "You just don't see Burt Reynolds anymore." "Well, you're not seeing him now." "That's Tom Selleck." "Dad, maybe we're keeping Amaar up." "He's got to sleep in here tonight." "Are you kidding?" "We got four episodes left." "Who wants... coffee?" "J.J.?" "Can you help me make it?" "Yasir's espresso machine is crazy-complicated!" "Oh, uh... yeah, sure." "So!" "You and Rayyan." "Exciting." "Huh." "Well, Rayyan's a great girl." "And plus I think I'm at a time in my life," " where..." " sure, sure." "But let's be reasonable." "You're not going to pack up and move to Mercy." "Oh, no, of course not." "But then again, who knows, right?" " Who knows?" " Yes, it's a nice place, good people." " Probably a great place to raise kids." " Kids?" "Man!" "Hey!" "Be careful with that espresso machine." "It's very expensive." " That is..." " Uh..." " I didn't see anything!" " You did!" "You saw my hair!" " You saw me without my hijab!" " You're right." "I saw a lot." "Uh... uh, here, you want to put this on?" "Yeah, Amaar." "I want to wear a tea towel." " I'm sorry." "I'm so sorry." " What are you doing in here?" "I was going to get a glass of water, what are you doing here?" " I was hungry!" " Anything good in there?" "Are you going to get out of here or do I have to spend the rest of the night in the fridge?" "You're right!" "Um, I'm so sorry." "Uh..." " Salaam aleikum." " Waleikum salaam." "Big plans for today?" "Uh, not really." "Just, uh, going to hang around hair." "I mean, "hair"." "I mean, "here"." "Just hang around here." "You?" "I was..." "I was just going to hang around the house." "Hello?" "Any chance you still want to take J.J. and I on that nature hike?" "I thought perhaps you did not like the great outdoors." "Yeah well, right now I'm not so crazy about the great indoors either." "You're spoiling us, Amaar." "Where did all this food come from?" "I went out this morning and bought some groceries." " Fresh-squeezed orange juice?" " Yeah!" "More hash browns?" " Oh, you know you don't have to..." " More hash browns?" " Yes, please." " I'm going to scramble a few more eggs." "Are you okay, Amaar?" "You-you seem a little jumpy this morning." "Ah, I had some trouble sleeping." "I guess I'm still skittish from the break-in." "Really?" "Nothing else is bothering you?" "It's a break-in." "Very traumatic." "You know, you think you're safe, someone comes into your space in the middle of the night, starts taking something very important to you..." "What did they take?" " Hmm?" " The burglars?" "What did they take?" " Nothing." " Then what are you talking about?" "Look, do you two want more scrambled eggs or not?" " Sure." " Great." "The chaperone is here." "Enough of this closey-closey." "We're not close, we're on opposite sides of the car." "And what if the parking brake gives out and the car rolls away?" " Ahem..." " uh, is the whistle really necessary?" "This whistle will save your life if you get lost during the hike." "Here." " Salaam aleikum, brother Baber." "I'm J.J." " Waleikum salaam." "What would you like me to tell your parents?" "About what?" "About how you starved to death when you fell into a crevice because you were not wearing a whistle?" "Crevice?" "We're not climbing Kilimanjaro." "Oh!" "Flare gun, working order." "Check." "Hey, guys." "Amaar, you don't have to clean." "My pleasure." "Just earning my keep." "But, I have a cleaning lady who comes." " Dagmar is a woman?" " She is now." "It's a long story." " Anyway, she was just here yesterday." " Really?" "She's not very good." "I mean..." "look how dusty this is." "That's a duster." "Exactly." "How hard can it be to run a hand-vac over one of these things?" "Okay!" "We're just, uh... we're going to..." "we're going to go now." " Slow down!" "There's poison ivy everywhere." " Ow!" "If we go any slower, we'll be walking backwards." " Stop." "This area will do very nicely." " Uh, nicely for what?" "I didn't realize we had a destination." "I am going to teach you how to build a lean-to!" "Oh." "What's a lean-to?" "Hopefully some sort of teleportation device so we can go home." "You know, I'm worried about Amaar." "Vacuuming a feather duster?" " It's not that strange." " Yeah, but then he dusted the vacuum." "I think he's worried about more than just the break-in." "Well, I'm worried, too." "But we can't play armchair psychiatrist." "Oh, you never want to play armchair psychiatrist." " Can I help you?" "Ah, yes." "Um, my espresso machine..." "How can I put this?" "It blew up." " Did you bring the receipt?" " Oh yeah." " Did you bring the warranty?" " Honey?" "It's in the wall safe." "Did you bring the wall safe?" "Please stop asking things." "I can't remember why I even agreed to this in the first place." " It's a date with me?" " Oh, right." "Well, it's fun!" "Yeah, we learned how to build a lean-to, uh," " make a fire without matches" " Yeah." "And a rain hat out of moss." "I think Baber really needs a woman in his life." "Yeah, if I had any lingering ideas about bachelorhood, those have pretty much been squashed." "I guess we'd better go get Baber out of the crevasse." "I always thought it was pronounced "crevice"." "No, crevice is small." "Crevasse is bigger." "You learn something new every day." " Where's my combination?" " What combination?" "The combination to my wall safe." "I wrote it on a piece of paper and I put it on the coffee table." "That coffee table?" "No, the coffee table by the toilet." "Of course, this coffee table." "Uh, I was cleaning up." "I might have thrown it away." "Amaar, my espresso machine is a $300 paperweight and the warranty is in the wall safe." "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" "You're going to slap yourself in the face?" "No!" "We got some safe-cracking to do." "Oh, I'm sorry." "I didn't realize you were still unravelling." "Maybe we can remember the combination." "Anniversary?" "Birthday?" "I didn't set the combination, it came with the safe." "Really?" "You should change that." "Be easier to remember." "Oh, now that's an excellent idea." "Hey, I'm trying to come up with a solution." "Like safe-cracking?" "You're acting..." "I'm sorry." "I just haven't been able to sleep since J... since the break-in." "Ah, I know." "The break-in." "Yes." "I'm sorry, but Amaar... maybe you're going to have to move on." "What am I supposed to do?" "Look inside yourself." "You'll find the solution." "Why do they make these things so tough to get into?" "Now, my children." "I have many ideas for our next outing." "I am going to teach you how to play bocce ball!" "Bocce ball!" "Actually, Baber." "J.J. and I were thinking..." "um, we really had fun today, but it might be best if the three of us didn't go out anymore." "You're calling it quits?" "But you've only had one date." "No, uh, what Rayyan means, I think, is it might be best if... the two of us didn't go out with..." "well, you." "You don't want to go out with me anymore?" "Is there somebody else?" "Someone younger?" "No, no... we just don't want to get tied down to one chaperone right now." "Don't give me that old line." "Oh, we just know that you're going to make some young couple" " a wonderful chaperone one day." " Why don't you just leave?" " Baber, listen..." " Just go." "Go!" "Why are you taking a torch to my dad's safe?" "'Cause I blew up his espresso machine." "Oh." "I think you might need a bigger torch." "That's the kind they use for crème brûlée." "I knew that." "So, how was the, uh, hike?" " A disaster." " Really?" "Oh, well, J.J. was fine." "But Baber totally drove us crazy." "Oh." "Hmm." "Uh..." "look, Amaar." "Uh... this whole thing with J.J., I just want you to know that, um..." "What?" "Uh..." "Rayyan, you can tell me." "We're friends." "Exactly." "And that is not going to change." "Easy for you to say now." "Pretty soon, you're going to have a mortgage." "Husband." "Kids." "Oh, yeah, right!" "Plus I've got my eye on that retirement home in Florida." " Seriously?" " No." "Not seriously!" "Amaar..." "Slow down." "I'm just taking this whole thing with J.J. one day at a time." "That's it." "Thanks." "I appreciate that." "Okay." "So, you staying at our place tonight or can I... safely walk around without my hijab on?" "I'm staying here." "I think I can sleep fine tonight." " Okay." "I'll talk to you later." " Okay." "I think I found the combi..." "Nation." "Sorry..." " I couldn't believe it." " I know!" " Hello." " Oh hi, Baber." "Rayyan." "J.J.." "You look well." "So do you." "Are you out without a chaperone?" "Hmm?" "Quick coffee and we're off." "Ah!" "Salaam aleikum, brother Baber." " Waleikum salaam." " Three coffees please." "I see you've found someone else." "You three look very nice together." "Uh, Yasir, Baber was our last chaperone." " O-oh." "Should I, um..." " It's all right." "I'm glad things turned out this way." "I am in a place where it is not good for me to chaperone right now." "Hmph." "I'm keeping my options open." "Hey, you want to come with us?" "No, I don't want to feel like a fourth wheel." " It's all right." "I'm not jealous." " All right, I'll come." "But, I'm chaperone." "You're co-chaperone." "Okay." "So, where are we going?" "It's a matinee." "It's something called, uh... "Gabrielle's Heart"." " You three have fun." "Bye-bye." " Okay." "You seem happier tonight." "I guess you're pretty relieved they caught those kids that broke into the building." " I didn't hear about that." " Oh yeah." "They picked them up yesterday." "Found them with my collection plate." "Really?" "How much was in the plate when they took it?" "Nothing." "It's..." "it's just a very nice plate." "I had a good chat with Rayyan, by the way." " You know, about the whole J.J. thing." " Oh yeah?" "Yeah, I think I was just a little panicky about losing my friend, you know?" "But, we're good." "We're always going to be friends." "Friends." "That's, uh..." "that's good." "Yup." "Friends till the end." "Did you just hear something?" "Do you want to sleep at my place tonight?" "Yes, please." "Checkmate!" "Still got the touch." "Subtitle by:" "Kiasu"