"Previously on Nip / Tuck:" "Is that why you're in love with Christian?" "He's been one of my closest friends for over 20 years." "And you've been in love with him for all this time." "What's going on?" "Nothing... except that my mother is leaving tonight." "How long have you been sleeping with her?" "Oh, God." "I feel like I'm going to be sick." "Welcome to my world." "Doesn't feel good, does it?" "Miss Charles, tell me what you don't like about yourself." "You tell me." "It's not about what we think." "It's how the patient experiences their own appearance." "What they'd like to change to improve their negative self-image." "You know the only thing worse than having a negative self-image?" " Having no self-image?" " I'm impressed." "I wouldn't expect a lothario like you to get that." "What makes you so certain that he's the lothario?" "Well... any successful man like yourself who wears Old Spice got it for Father's Day." "Any man who'll spend a $185 on a bottle of Creed isn't wearing it to please his wife." "They should put you to work solving crimes." "Actually, I'm a designer." "Rockets." "Perfume." "Two of my scents became best sellers this year... so I decided to do a little remodeling, for the dating season." "What's the name of your scent?" "I'll have to buy some." "Well, that wouldn't be fair." "To whom?" "Women." "You're hard to resist as it is without adding extra pheromones into the mix." "Miss Charles, are you flirting with me?" "That depends." "Am I pretty enough to flirt with you?" " No." " Good." "Then fix whatever needs fixing." "Make me into someone that you'd want." " Make me a 10." " We're not cosmeticians, Miss Charles." "We're talking about permanent changes." "Besides, everyone's idea of beauty varies." "It's in the eye of the beholder." "Wrong." "Pretty is in the eye of the beholder." "Beauty is in the soul." "You can't see it, but you know it when you feel it." "Come on." "You guys are the top plastic surgeons in Florida." "Give me the superficial facts." "What would you change?" " Your eyes." "The pigmentation..." " They're spooky." "Thank you." "Go on." "Was this the result of a trauma or illness?" "I was born this way." "In the dark, so to speak." "I have no way of knowing if my nose is too big, if my lips are too thin..." "Except for your eyes, you're a 10." "Although you already know that." "We can recommend an excellent ocularist." "We'll work with him together on color, size, shape." "What color will they be?" "Blue, maybe." "With a tiny hint of green." "Blue." "Like the ocean and the sky." "Nice." " You're smiling, aren't you?" " Actually, it's more of a smirk." "You're not as good as you think." "How about Thursday afternoon?" "I can make an appointment for you." "I can make my own appointment." "I like to be independent." "I also like to be driven." "Learning to skate, or do you just want to carry a big stick?" "Tampa Bay Lightning, signed by the entire team." "Only $350." "It's worth a lot more after winning the cup." "It's nice that you're here." "I wasn't expecting to see you." "You usually hate these things." "If it's for Annie's school, it's the least I could do." "I'm used to going to these things by myself." "Then tonight's no exception." "I was at your sign-up sheet, and there's all these women there... but they're too embarrassed to put their names down." "But I think I got the ball rolling." "I told them you did a great job on these." "Oh, hi." "Maybe I should go and keep pumping the bids." "You're too good to give it away for free." "I can't believe you brought that... walking slab of silicone to our daughter's school." "She's the one who suggested I donate my surgical skill to the highest bidder." "I thought you didn't even like big tits." "I guess I was lying." "My bad." " Well, I'm just glad I didn't bring Annie." " Yeah, you better watch out." "She'll end up running away from you like Matt." "What's happened to you?" "I'm having a good time, Julia." "A really good time." "Your holier-than-thou attitude won't make me feel shitty for bringing Kimber here... 'cause you've got no right to be holier than anybody ever again." "Every guy in this room is looking at her tits, and wishing they were me... and not going home with their bitter, unhappy, and resentful wives." "Is this how it's going to be from now on?" "Face it, Julia." "You've lost your boy." "Methyl methacrylate." "It's lighter... and more responsive to the muscles that control the movement of the eye." "And it's virtually unbreakable." "Unbreakable?" "You mean in case they pop out of my head?" "No, but, they might fall from the sink when you're trying to wash them." "I recently replaced a patient's left eye because it had been eaten by his dog." "May I?" "What are you doing?" "Eyes are a reflection of the soul." "I need to know who's behind the eyes I'm making." "That's why it takes me a little longer than the rest." "To me, it's more than a science." "It's an art." "There are 12 steps to the painting alone." "Each element within the eye requires its own special blend of color." "The red veins are sometimes duplicated by using thin strands of fabric... and carefully placing them on the plastic." "The verisimilitude is astonishing." "When do you think I could have them?" "As soon as your damaged eyeballs are removed... and the implants sewn into place." " I can schedule her next week." " Then next week it is." "Once the orbal implants are in place... they provide the necessary anchor for the artificial eye." "That's when you and I are ready to begin." "You come in... and I position this impression tray in your socket." "Don't worry." "It will feel odd, but not painful." "I use it to make an algenate impression of the cavity within your eye." "When it's dry and smooth and a perfect fit... it serves as a mold for the actual plastic insert... that will become your new eye." "Then the fitting." "That's when the miracle happens." "Miracle?" "Animating what's lifeless." "A mere piece of plastic, and we give the soul its voice." "It all sounds so gruesome." " Do you really think it's worth it?" " I've never had a disappointed customer." "I don't like to toot my own horn..." "Well, yes, I do, because I'm the best." "If you weren't, we wouldn't be here." "So, you wanted to know what my recommendation would be." "This is it." "What color eyes were you thinking?" "Blue." "With a hint of green." "Good." "Life's about change right?" "Transformation." "And I'd just like to see this time as an opportunity... to explore other possibilities." "Well, outside of being a wife and mother, I mean." " Did you say you were divorced?" " Separated." "If it makes you feel any better, 70%/% of the breast augmentations I do... are on women divorced or in the process." "It can be quite healing and a way of affirming your desirability." "Some of my patients even have implants as part of their settlement." "Well, there's a thought." "Maybe I should wait until we file." "Why don't you open your blouse so we can see what we have to work with here?" "Have you done a lot of these?" "Let's say that since I began this practice, micromastia has become an epidemic." " Micromastia?" " Small-breastedness." "I always thought they were average." "Micromastia?" "It sounds like a disease." "In our culture, it often is." "Breasts are a symbol of our femininity... the closest thing we have to a phallic symbol... and like it or not, we live in a world where size matters." "For both." "I think we can go up to a C or even a D and still keep your natural drop." "I don't want them to be huge." "I mean, just different." "Better." "A new me, you know?" "I'm sure you'll be delighted because you're doing it for the right reason." "Yourself." "What's sad are the ones that do it thinking they can get their husbands back." "It's heartbreaking." "What are you doing?" "I'm monitoring your heart, sweetie." "Standard procedure." "Try to relax." "You know, maybe I shouldn't be doing this." "I have two kids." "The youngest one is only eight." "She's at my husband's." "If anything happened to me..." "Don't you worry." "Dr. Copley's the best." "She hasn't botched one yet." "Yeah." "She did these." "Pretty good, huh?" "Did having them done really change anything... in your love life?" "Fourteen carat, and he never gets bored." "Okay, Julia, we're going to begin." "As the anesthesia starts to work, you're going to feel as if you're floating." "One more look, for old times' sake." "And now, counting back from 10 to one." "Ten... nine... eight..." "I love Oceania." "I love it." "They make the best Chilean sea bass." "You know what?" "I'm not sure... but my doctor just walked into the room, so I'll ask him." "Is it too soon for me to make dinner plans for Saturday night?" "You're an independent woman." " Hot date?" " Hope so." "He answered my personal ad on the Internet." "Well, why don't you call him back after..." "I've finished checking you out?" "Ron, can I get back to you?" "My very hunky doctor wants to stare deeply into my beautiful new acrylic eyes." "Great." "I'll talk to you later." " What's wrong?" " Nothing." "I'm just checking your tear ducts." "Something." "It's written all over your forehead." "No man who answers an Internet ad is after a deep personal connection... that doesn't involve his penis." "You know, I think I read that in a fortune cookie once." "I thought you were smarter than that." "Funny, my incredibly smart friend Janet met her husband that way." "Was she blind?" "I'm sorry." "I just meant that... men are assholes, and being blind just makes you an easier mark." "Are we through here?" "Look directly at me and try to move your eyes from side to side." "There's not a lot of mobility yet... but the muscle reattachment seems to be holding." "Is that it?" "Look, it's men." "We're just wired that way." "Even if some small part of our brains actually gives a damn about your soul... it's always short-circuited by the part that wants to get into your pants." "I'm a big girl, Doctor." "I don't use a Seeing Eye dog." "I certainly don't need a seeing-eye doctor to rescue me... from all those bad, big, scary men out there... just waiting to prey on us blind damsels in distress." "Be careful." "You know what the upside to being blind is?" "There's no fear of the unknown, because it's all unknown." "Everything is chance." "Meeting this guy, crossing the street... picking outfits that match, buying groceries." "I'm not expecting to fall in love." "But you never know." "Just a minute." "Matt wasn't exaggerating, was he?" "You really do look a bit like a crack whore, sweetheart." " I can't believe that Matt called you." " I can't believe you didn't." "Did he say anything else?" "About why I moved out?" "Because Matty has two fathers." "You were young, you made a mistake." "You don't have to spend the rest of your life atoning for it." "Why not?" " I ruined my husband's life." " Bullshit." "You ruined your own by not living it." "If Sean doesn't want anything more to do with you, yippee." "You're free." "Get off your ass and stop depending on other people for your sense of self-worth." "You really should have your own talk show." "Now, I'm staying at the Raleigh." "You're coming with me... until we can find someplace more suitable for you and Annie." "God knows what's living under these carpets." "Please leave my things alone, Mother." "I don't need you to swoop in here... and start telling me what I should and shouldn't do." "Take enough Xanax, it won't matter what you do." "It's Vicodin." "I need something to help me with the pain." "I had my breasts augmented." "Oh, God." "I'm sorry." "Good for you, sweetheart." "At least you did something." "When I said you should make the most out of yourself..." "I wasn't referring to your bra size." "You had a facelift, Mother." "What's the difference?" "I did it for professional reasons." "The only professional reason for that is to look better dancing on a pole." "You're a brilliant, gifted girl, Julia." "Why are brains the last on your list of things to develop?" "Because they're the last things on the list that matter." "Just be smart enough to know that when your kids come home... they need a hug, a kiss, some goddamn tenderness." "And they don't want to be told how they screwed up... because 10-to-1 they already know." "Tell me what you need." "For God's sake, Erica, look around." "I've been eating microwave macaroni and cheese." "I haven't washed my hair in days because I can't lift my arms." "And if I leave the garbage out any longer, I'll start attracting wildlife." "Why didn't you arrange for a practical nurse... before you left the hospital?" "Because I chose to have it done, and I don't want Sean paying for it." "I'll write a check." "Forget it." "The interest is way too high." "But thanks for coming over." "And if you happen to bump into anyone resembling a mother... tell her I could use one." "Tits." " What are you talking about?" " Bazooms." "Power boobies." "Apparently, an IQ of 160 isn't enough to get her through this transition... without acquiring equally impressive knockers." "Julia got breast implants?" " I don't believe it." " What the hell was she thinking?" "Sean, according to Matt, you're dating Porn Star Barbie." "That would make any woman feel inadequate." "What do you expect us to do?" "Take them out and tell her they were fine the way they were before?" "Julia's in crisis." "Have you seen where she's living?" "Where Annie's living when she's not with you?" "You're not suggesting I take Annie away from her." "Let's just hear what she has to say." "I want us all to come together, in a caring... nonjudgmental manner... and present Julia with our observations and concerns." " You want us to stage an intervention." " Oh, God." "Yes." "I've gotten the name of the top psychiatrist in the area." "I've pulled strings to make an appointment but I can't make sure she shows up." " Why not?" " Because I won't be here." "Of course." "This is beautiful." "But your daughter's in crisis, Erica." "What's more important than that?" "I have to be in Los Angeles at the end of the week." "I'm giving a lecture." "On mothering?" "But you'll be back." "You can't just intervene and run." "I'm trying to put a support system into place before I go." "You mean dump her on us." "So you're just going to cut her off." "Where'd you get the balls?" "She's the only one being punished." "If she's got to wear a scarlet letter, then so do you." "How about I stage an intervention with you?" "Take it easy." "You've done more harm to Julia than we could ever do in a lifetime." "You're the real reason she's so screwed-up!" "You never saw her except as a reflection of yourself." "Shit, you never saw her, period." "You were always busy working, helping your patients with their problems." "Well, she's your problem now, Erica." "You broke her, you fix her." "The best thing about not being with Julia is I don't have to be nice to her mother." " You think I'm a dick?" " I didn't say anything." "You want to become part of Erica's intervention?" "I hurt Julia." "I do that a lot." "Hurt and run." " If there's a chance to help..." " She's had enough help." "I've spent my life rescuing, supporting, protecting her, and so have you." "Now look what's happened." "We've enabled her so much she's disabled." "You want to be a hero?" "Go find someone who really needs one." "Ron." "Hi." "What's so funny?" "Me." "I'm such an asshole." "One more?" "Honey, hold still." "It's hard to see when you keep moving around." "But it really itches." "Honey, can you go get that?" "It's your grandmother." "There she is." "How are you, sweetheart?" "There's a charming two-bedroom on Collins." "I've made an appointment for you to see it tomorrow at 11:00." "I'm not looking for another apartment, Mother." "Once I'm better, I'll fix this place up." "It'll be fine." "You can at least look at it." "If you don't like it, he's got others." "And here." "I called the department at Columbia." "I've got you an appointment with the top psychopharmacologist in the state." "He also happens to specialize in depression." "I'm not depressed, Mother, I'm separated." "Oh, God, there's one." "Are you going to have to shave my head?" " Shave your head?" "What for?" " Lice." "They're going around at Annie's school." "You're pulling." "Oh, my God, they're everywhere." "What's next, Julia?" "Scabies?" "How much further down do you have to go before this stops?" "Shitter's Alley?" "You don't have to be a member of a third world country to get lice." "They're not a sign of uncleanliness." "They're not what I would call a status symbol." "You never had them." "Honey, take your clothes off and throw them on the bathroom floor." "I'll be in to run the water." "Do you think you could help me to strip the bed?" "Just put all the pillow cases and the sheets in a pile." "They have to be washed separately." "What do you say we just toss the whole mess out?" "No, it'll be fine." "I'll just wash it in hot water." "You really want your daughter to risk recontamination?" " Linens cost money." " My treat." "Mommy." "Just put the laundry in a goddamn pile, okay?" "Fine." "Do everything the hard way." "It's not enough to swim across the ocean." "You have to do with 20-pound boulder strapped to your back." "Oh, God." "I think I felt one." " Mother, you don't have lice." " Where Annie put her head." "Mommy." "Something is crawling through my hair." "Mother, why don't you just go back to your hotel room... and have a nice hot bath." "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" "Actually, the conference called." "My schedule's been changed." "I have to leave in the morning." "Mommy, are you coming?" "You go and take care of yourself." "At least that's one thing you've always been good at." "Excuse me." "Do you see a blind girl sitting over there, by herself?" "I see her." "The one you were sitting with?" "Right." "Is she hot?" "She's attractive, yes." "Well, can you give me a number?" "Is she an eight, a nine?" "Well, how's her body?" "Does she have a good pair of tits?" "You want the truth?" "She's got to be at least 10, 15 years older than you." " What a liar." "She told me she was 30." " Old women lie about their age." "She thought she could get away with it because you were blind." "Screw her." "Do me a favor, will you?" "Tell her my mother had a stroke and I had to leave." " That's the best you can do?" " She's the one who lied, not me." "Was I right about the salmon?" " What are you doing here?" " Same as you." "Really?" "I'm not here spying on people." "I'm with someone." "Not anymore." "Thank God." "What an asshole." "All he talked about was what his last girlfriend said about his body." "Why didn't you tell me that your blind date was blind?" "Was he?" "You didn't ask, and I don't consider blindness to be a defining characteristic." "Why are you here?" "Protect you from bastards." "Like me." "Well, you can go now." "I don't want to." "It feels good, your not being able to see me." "Like I'm a blank slate." "Tabula rasa." "No preconceptions." "Give me your hand." "Did you know that everybody has their own special scent?" "And that each scent has three distinct parts." "Or, as we say in the biz, notes." " No kidding." " No kidding." "There's a top note, a middle note, and a base note." "Most people are only aware of their top notes." "How they want to be perceived, their image." "The middle layer is a buffer... to keep the external highs away from the forbidden lows." "Why forbidden?" "Because it's what people are most afraid of." "Their true selves." "So what am I afraid of?" "I already know I'm a bastard." "Are you sure?" "Maybe... you're afraid of finding out you're not the bastard you think you are." "I see... someone kind... and gentle... and scared." "I think maybe you're the one who needs to be rescued." "What are you doing?" "Just looking." "Close your eyes." "I want you to really see me." "You're so beautiful." "Annie's pretty pooped." "She ran straight to her room to lie down before dinner." "You're later than usual." "I had to stop and get a few things." "We had a rough night." "Here." "Anti-lice shampoo?" "It has chemical insecticides in it, so use it sparingly." " Annie has lice?" " Had lice, hopefully." "You leave it on for about 10 minutes and then rinse." "How did she get lice?" "There are 32 students in her class, Sean." "It happens." "Aren't you going to say anything?" "Our daughter has lice." "What else would you like me to say?" "About my breasts." "I had them done." "Your mother told me." " Would you like to see them?" " No." "I'd like you to." "I think Dr. Copley did a good job, but..." "I'd feel better if you looked at them, just to make sure." "The symmetry's excellent." "Sloping's natural." "Peri-areolar incision." "That was smart." "Dr. Copley's a professional." "She knows what she's doing." "Do you like them?" "It doesn't matter what I think." "It's how the patient feels about themselves." "Screw you, Sean." "I don't care what you think." "I don't care what anybody thinks." "Oh, God." "English" " SDH"