"I'm getting good at this parallel parking." "It's not what this is, but okay." "You know, it was" "It was fun sightseeing with you." "How'd you know where those celebrities lived?" "I've done some light stalking in my day." "Look at this poor guy." "He's got like 1 0 tickets and a boot." "I've seen this car." "It's been here for a month." "Who leaves their car like this?" "Whoever he is, he's a big fan of mine." "He's got a stack of my headshots on the seat." "Joey, when you bought your new car, you did return the rental, right?" "Nope." "Hey." "What are you doing here so early?" "I just had to get out of that salon." "I hate work so much." "I knew I should've been a corrections officer like that test said." "Still having problems with your boss?" "Viktor is a creep." "He's standing over me, and criticizing me..." "... tellingmewhattodo." "Like Mom, with a mustache." "Have you seen Mom lately?" "Why do you work at a job that makes you crazy, Mom?" "Easy, college." "In the real world, work isn't always a picnic." "Oh, please." "You make pretend for a living." "I have done my time in the trenches." "Oh, yeah?" "Doing what?" "Digging." "What other job do you do in a trench?" "I wish I had my own place." "This way..." "... insteadofworkingfor thishorrible boss, I could be the horrible boss." "You'd be good at that." "You're always telling us what to do." "Yeah." ""Don't sit so close to the TV, you'll go blind."" "Yeah." "Or, "Hey, Joey, get your hand out of your pants."" "Or, "Michael, tell Joey to get his hand out of his pants."" "Why not open your own place?" "I don't have the money." "Well, you must have some." "I did." "Now I don't." "I gotta get going back there." "See you." "Bye." "God, she seems miserable." "I wish there was something we could do to help." "You could give her some money, start her own salon." "I meant like buy her a cake." "Come on." "You gotta have some money saved up." "I do." "But that money's a safety net for me." "Besides, it's not a good time  formeto be spendingmoney." "I'm in a new city, I don't have a job  Igot1200 dollarsinparkingtickets..." "... from a car I still haven't returned." "Even if it's not a great time now, it's not like you have..." "... togiveherall yourmoney." "I can't dip into my savings." "There are harsh realities to being an actor." "That money..." "... isspecificallysetaside in case I ever lose my looks." "What?" "Why?" "I mean, even if you turn ugly, you're such a great actor." "You'll still get tons of work." "That is weak, dude." "I cannot wait for my entire body to feel what my feet are feeling." "How many hours do you spend in here?" "Well, my record is nine..." "... butI waspassedout  for five of them, so... ." "One of the kids lost his little military man." "Sergeant Drop Kick." "So Eric's coming home tonight." "Your husband?" "Great." "I finally get to meet him." "He's been gone so long." "I know." "Now his orchestra's playing in town." "What instrument does he play?" "The viola." "Lin." "Violin." "Thanks." "Listen, about Eric, there's one tiny problem." "I mentioned my new pal, Joey, to him..." "... andI gottheimpression that he was a bit threatened." "Come on." "By me?" "Well, I told him..." "... aboutthetwoofushangingout." "I guess he thinks it's weird..." "... hiswifedoingstuffwith asingleguy." "That's ridiculous." "I've always had women friends, and there's nothing sexual about it." "I love the way women think." "I love the way they laugh." "I love the" " I love their soft hands." "I love the small of their back, the curve of their" "Oh, I see why he'd be upset." "But it's not like anything would ever happen with us." "It's insulting." "Like I can't handle a couple of weeks alone." "Like I can't go that long." "Like I just gotta have it, and any man will do." "Alex, it's nothing to be ashamed of." "I do not have to have it." "I don't." "He'll see that there's nothing between us..." "... thathehasnothingtoworry about , and he'll be fine." "Absolutely." "Yeah." "And a little tip:" "Maybe, just maybe, if you knew the name of the instrument he played..." "... hemightnotfeelsothreatened." "No, I know what a violin is" "There you go." "Hey, Gina." "Sorry I'm late for lunch." "Oh, it's okay." "I'm just finishing up here." "So where's this Viktor guy you keep complaining about?" "Around lunchtime, he goes to the gun shop next door or the strip club." "Nice neighborhood, by the way." "So tell me about your day." "I'm bored stiff here." "I just found out that Alex's husband  thinks it's weird that we hang out." "Well, it is a little weird." "I mean, a married woman and a single guy." "Not okay." "Oh, you speak English." "Five years." "Look, you guys hanging out would be okay if you..." "... knewherbeforeshe was married, which you didn't." "Or if you were friends with them as a couple..." "... which you're not." "Or if you were gay, which would be okay." "Will you stop with that?" "He's an actor." "The lines are blurred." "So you're saying I can't be friends with Alex?" "Just maybe lay low while her husband's around." "Otherwise, he'll be threatened by you." "You're a good-looking guy." "Yeah, I guess you're right." "Sometimes I wish I was only an 8 1 /2." "Gina, I have some bad news." "No paycheck tonight." "All money from register went down stripper's panties." "Who's this?" "This is my brother." "He's visiting me." "Oh, I forgot." "This is not a salon." "This is "Viktor's House for Family Reunion," huh?" "I'll" " I'll get out of your way." "Magazine is only for customers." "So is the chair." "So is floor." "Oh, come on." "Hey." "Hey." "By the way, the rental car's still there." "That's what this is for." "Oh, hey, l" " I went by your mother's salon today." "I met her boss." "Pretty horrible, huh?" "Yeah." "The guy's like a Russian Joseph Stalin." "I can't believe she has to work there." "Well, there is a way to fix that." "Give her some money." "Oh, I don't know." "Just think about everything she's done for you." "She found you this place." "She made it into a home." "If the situation were reversed, she'd do it for you in a heartbeat." "Yeah, that's true." "And it would just be a loan." "She'd pay you back." "In fact, she'd probably let you name the salon." ""The Hair Place." No." ""The Hair Up There." No, no." ""captain Fabuloso's cave of Hair."" "Okay." "Okay, let's do it." "Really?" "Yeah." "It's the right thing to do." "Can I have her come so we can tell her?" "Yeah." "I'll take a quick dip in the hot tub..." "... so,say,two,threehours?" "All right." "Okay, time for relaxation, men." "You've earned it." "Evening." "Sorry, I'll" "I'll try back later." "No, not at all." "There's room in here for both of us." "Not the way I hot tub." "All right." "Well, I'll try not to keep you  andyourmenwaitinglong ." "What, these?" "These aren't mine." "No." "Thanks." "So I haven't" "Haven't seen you around here before." "My orchestra's been on tour." "You must be Eric, Alex's husband." "I'm" " I'm Joey." "You're Joey?" "Oh, thank God." "Oh, God." "Man, that is great." "Yeah." "What?" "It's just that Alex said she'd been spending a lot of time with you recently." "I was expecting something else, that's all." "Look, it is really great to meet you." "Hey, you too." "Yeah." "So we're good?" "Oh, yeah, we're good." "Why are we good?" "What the hell's that thing for?" "Hey." "Mom's on her way over." "I'm looking at commercial real estate listings." "Hey, do you find me threatening?" "Not until this very moment." "Alex tells me her husband is paranoid I'll steal her away." "Then he meets me, and suddenly everything's fine." "Maybe he just thinks you're not Alex's type." "Please, I've done it lots of times where no one was anyone's type." "He doesn't think I'm good-looking." "I can't believe this." "I'm about to give away my "lose my looks" fund  and now I'm actually losing my looks?" "Joey, you look great." "Just the other day, you were up on that step stool..." "... and I couldn't help admiring your calf muscle." "I kind of knew you were looking." "It's me." "Oh, great." "I can't wait to tell her." "Why do you get to tell her?" "Because you get to name it." "That's right." "I'm really trying to imagine what's so important  that it can't wait till after JAG." "All right, come on, Mom." "Sit down." "There's something we wanna tell you." "Oh, my God." "JAG got canceled?" "No, sit down." "Sit down." "Here." "What's this?" "It's a loan." "It's not that much, but hopefully it's enough to get you started." "Get me started with what?" "captain Fabuloso's cave of Hair." "Mom, it's for your own salon." "Oh, my God." "Are you kidding me?" "Oh, no, no." "This is too much." "No, no, no." "We want you to have it." "But this must be all the money in your "lose your looks" fund." "I wanna thank you." "Thank you so much." "And I'm gonna cash in my savings bond too." "I know it's not a lot of money, but it's yours." "You are so sweet, but I cashed that in like five years ago..." "... tohelppayfor yourbraces." "I didn't have braces." "You guys are the best!" "Hey." "Hey." "I'm gonna go study." "What are you gonna do?" "I'm luring Alex's husband over here with a pretend maintenance problem..." "... because he's the super, but my real plan is to prove to him that I'm sexy." "We lead very different lives, you and I." "Hey." "Hey." "There's some problem with the fireplace?" "The flue seems to be all blocked up, and I was hoping to light a fire." "It's 80 degrees out." "Well, I'm always chilly." "I have very, very, very low body fat." "Well, me too." "Actually, I'm about 1 1 percent." "What about you?" "Zero." "Okay, I'll just-- I'll check out the fireplace." "Oh, would you look what someone left lying around?" "Soap Opera Digest from 1 997." "Look at that." ""Most Sexy Newcomer, Joey Tribbiani." Who writes this fluff?" "That's an old photo too, back from my modeling days." "You were a male model?" "Well, I was, yeah." "But I was run out of the business for being too promiscuous." "You look like you could use a hand there." "No, I'm good, actually." "Either way." "Either way." "Maybe, I'll just roll up the old pant leg and lend a hand." "It barely, barely fits over my muscular calves." "Look." "Okay." "All right." "I see what's going on here." "You're gay." "What?" "No." "But if I was, I'd be attracted to myself." "Well..." "... here's your problem." "How on earth did a wad of newspaper get up there?" "I don't know, but it's today's paper." "Honey, Bill just called." "Rehearsal got moved up an hour." "I'd better get a move on." "I'll hold dinner." "Oh, no." "No." "Oh, have it with Joey." "I opened a great bottle of wine." "Don't let it go to waste." "Joey, be careful, okay?" "When she drinks, she will wanna dance for you." "Okay." "So wanna come over?" "What was that?" "Oh, okay." "Your husband isn't threatened by me at all." "Oh, well, that's great." "No, it's not." "Why isn't he?" "Maybe he thinks you're not my type." "Okay, I did not wanna have to do this, but take a look." "Why doesn't he think I'm a threat?" "I don't know." "But if it'll make you feel better, I could ask." "Do that, as soon as he's done playing his viola." "Damn it!" "Now you got me saying it." "Now, this is a nice space." "Good street traffic, there's great parking." "There's already plumbing for sinks." "We could put those over here." "God, there's so much room." "You could practically roller-skate in here." "How good are you at cutting hair on skates?" "So, what do you think of it?" "Well, it seems nice." "Nice?" "Oh, Gina..." "... this is the best place we've seen." "Once you sign the lease, order the equipment and hire people." "Then you can fire people." "You'll have the authority to do it." "Not like that time we went to Home Depot..." "... andyoustartedfiringanyone who wouldn't wait on you." "I haven't even said yes to this place, and you have me hiring employees." "There must be room for, like, six stylists in here." "Oh, they're gonna have to learn how to skate too." "Six stylists?" "That's a big operation." "You just gotta use a little imagination." "We'll paint the walls, put some new tile down." "You're kind of throwing a lot of stuff at me." "If we put mirrors on this wall, and mirrors on this wall..." "... thenthebirdand the fish can look at each other." "Bird and fish?" "captain Fabuloso's a pirate." "We should take this place right now." "Because if we don't, someone else will." "Maybe I should sleep on it." "You gotta make a decision." "I can't do this right now." "I gotta go." "What did we do?" "Oh, you know what?" "I bet she wants this to be her place, and we're totally telling her..." "... whattodo andtakingover ." "Well, I guess that's true." "You guess?" "Come on, dude, some of your ideas were pretty stupid." "Hey, Alex." "Hey." "So did you talk to your husband?" "Did he tell you why he's not threatened by me?" "Yeah, let's just forget about that." "You did talk to him." "I wanna know what he said." "Maybe he thinks I'm too attractive." "He thinks you could never get a guy like me." "No." "And wow." "Then what?" "Okay." "Well, he thinks..." "... you're goofy." "Goofy?" "He makes snap judgments about people." "He saw you as this out-of-work actor..." "... whositsin theJacuzziallday and plays with toys." "They're not toys, they're heroes, but... ." "Okay." "All right." "Well, great." "Mystery solved." "I'll" " Good to know." "I'll talk to you later, okay?" "Wait, Joey." "You don't think that he's right, that you're goofy, do you?" "I wanna say no, you know, but then I look at these drawings..." "... ofdragonsIwas doingallday, and... ." "But that's sweet." "And there's much more to you than what he sees." "I mean..." "... you're so good." "I see how nice you are to everyone in the building, and to your nephew..." "... andyougaveyoursistermoney  to start her own business." "How did you know that?" "The walls are thin, and I'm a little nosy." "And it's not just the way you treat other people..." "... it's the way you treat me." "What do you mean?" "You always ask me about my day." "You know I'm lonely, so you include me in stuff." "To be this sweet, and as great-looking as you are..." "... myhusbandmaynot bethreatened, but maybe he should be." "But more than anything, you're just goofy." "Yeah, I got the dragons to prove it." "Yeah." "Come in." "Look, Gina, we just came by to say that we're sorry  forthrowingalot ofideasatyou ." "Some of them were good, some of them were Michael's  butwewantyou toknow  that we'll back off." "Yeah." "From now on, the salon, it's your project." "You won't be getting any more input from us." "Although, it'd be cool if the fish was a Japanese fighting fish." "Okay, I'm done." "Guys, that's not why I was upset." "Then what was it?" "It's just" " I don't want my own salon." "Hey, Gina, look, I know what it's like  tostartsomethingnew ." "WhenImoved  out here from New York" "I cannot hear this again." "People move all the time." "Get over it." "Does seem to come up a lot." "The point is, it's natural to be scared." "I am not scared." "When we were looking at that place today, I realized..." "... I don't wanna start my own business." "You don't?" "No." "It sounds like a lot of work." "Don't you realize this is the first time  sinceyouwerebornthat I haven't had a ton of responsibility?" "Don't get me wrong, raising you  wasthebestthingIeverdid, but it was work." "You said I was a really easy kid." "Honey, the therapist told me to tell you that." "I appreciate what you guys are trying to do." "At least you helped me realize that I'm too good to work for Viktor." "I am gonna quit." "That's great." "Good for you." "That's awesome." "I know." "I just finished writing my letter of resignation." "You think "dumbass" should be hyphenated?" "Well, when it's followed by that word and that word..." "... I wouldn't worry so much about the punctuation." "You should know that I got a couple different job leads..." "... and as soon as one pans out, I'll give you back most of your money." "Most?" "Enough about me, how are you handling the move from New York?" "I thought you would never ask." "I did it." "I am finally done with the rental car." "You paid all the tickets?" "Got the boot taken off?" "Yep." "And you returned it to the right place?" "Yes and yes." "I am taking off this string." "What the hell is this one for?" "Subtitles by SDI Media Group" "[ENGLISH]"