"Previously on The Big C..." "I've been really confused." "I shouldn't have feelings, but I do." " What's the problem?" " You don't have permits for this job." "I do one small construction project and you have to go behind my back!" "You're a pain in the ass." "Don't move here for me." "You are such a cunt!" "Get out of my house, or I'll blow your brains out!" "You can't remember where you put a gun?" "I have Alzheimer's." "Mom said in a letter that we got the day after she died that she thought it was time for her to go because she didn't trust herself not to do something stupid." "And she didn't want to become a burden, so..." "Which is why she actually arranged this funeral herself." "This is so beautiful." "She shot herself in the fucking head." "This is not beautiful." "Our mom pretended to hate polka music." "She said, "The only way to dance to it makes you look like an asshole."" "But every time my dad pulled out his accordion, it always brought a smile to her face." "Maybe I'll have a band." "Not a polka band, but maybe a marching band." "For what?" "My funeral." "So, enjoy the polka music and enjoy the buffet." "That's what our mom would've wanted." " Scratch off?" " No, thank you, that's inappropriate." "Me, neither." "No, thank you." "I'm going to the buffet to obliterate my feelings." "Well, I'll be damned!" "I'm a winner!" "Good for you." "Adam, how are you doing?" " Adam." " Hey, Mom." "I..." "I just want you to know, if you want to talk about Marlene, if you have any questions about death," "or anything?" "No." "I'm good." "Can I meet Mia at the movies after this?" " Sure." " Yes." "Oh, look, can I have some money for popcorn?" "No." "Okay." "Don't like death, don't like death, thinking good thoughts, thinking good thoughts." "I know." "I know you hate this." "Marlene tried to make it nice." "Yeah, I should never have come." "My palms are sweaty, my chest is compressed, and it feels like a spirit keeps running its hands through my hair." "Well, at least you're having a reaction." "I don't understand why Adam seems so unaffected." "Marlene pulled a gun on him and then shot herself." "He's just a little emotionally constipated." "Oh, my God!" "Did you invite Psycho?" "Hi, Cathy." "She wanted to come." "Well, if she murders me, you throw me on top of Marlene." "We're running out of room to put people." "Hey." "I'm so sorry I'm late." "Poor Marlene!" "It's good to see you." "But you didn't have to come." "I wanted to be here for you." " How are you?" " I won!" " Look at that." " It's hard to be sad when every five minutes someone wins $20 on a scratch off." "Yeah." "It's..." "It's quite an affair." "I am so glad it's a closed casket." "My grandpa had an open casket and I have this recurring dream now about his death face trying to kiss me." "There's Sean." "Can I..." "Let me just catch up with you in a couple minutes, okay?" "Sean?" "I see you hiding behind that tombstone." "Sean Tolkey!" "Hi, I'm Cathy." "I live across the street from your mom." "You're Cathy." "We were wondering who you were." " I'm Lorna." " I'm Gina." "This is my wife, Buttercup." "Look at you." "Hair like a waterfall." " It's so nice to meet you." " Well, it is so nice to meet all of you." "Your mom, she..." "She talked about you all the time." "She was so proud of the two of you." "Mom was a lot of things, but she was not proud." "Whenever I'd call her, she'd say, "Hey, bull dyke, how are things in Atlanta?"" "And for 25 years, she insisted on calling my Jewish husband," ""That white witch you live with."" "So, we are talking about the same Marlene." " Yeah." " Yeah." "She had an edge to her, but we became pretty close this summer." "She meant a lot to our family." "You must have meant a lot to her, too." "Otherwise she wouldn't have left you the house." "What?" "Yeah." "She changed her will recently." "She said in it that she wanted you to have the house." "Well, your dad built that house." "It's..." "It's very special." "It..." "It should go to you." "Thank you." "We were thinking she was a little confused." "Oh, my God, I won." "I won!" "25 bucks, honey, I won." "25 bucks." "That's what I'm talking about." "Yeah, baby." "Thank you, Marlene." "So, finish it." "Happy to." "In about nine months." "I wanna be able to dive into my pool by the end of the summer." "Well, since tomorrow is the last day of summer, you need to find a new dream." "How much?" "Look, all of my crews are out on other jobs." "And we don't start pools in the fall." "Call me in nine months and we'll talk." "You wait by the phone." "Sean, I just wanna talk to you for five minutes." "No, thanks." "Scared of you." "Well, eventually you're gonna have to stop, whether it's to go to the bathroom or because you come to a dangerous intersection." " And when that happens..." " What, Rebecca?" "What?" " What, what, what?" " Oh, God." "You smell so..." "Oh, God, you see?" "You're like the exorcist." "You have so much evil in you, some of it had to blow out." "Oh, you wish." "I'm pregnant!" "And before you say something really crass about whose it is, it's yours." "What?" "You..." "You..." "You said you were on the pill." "What pill was that?" "Zoloft?" "Okay, I'm not gonna lie." "I've gotten kind of lazy about the pill since I turned 40 because I figured my fallopian ship had probably sailed." "Well, that's stupid!" "Women in their hundreds are having babies now." "You've really got a lot of nerve." "I had a completely shitty weekend trying to figure out how and why this immaculate conception even occurred." "But I've decided, even though it's a cruel joke from God, probably, that I'm gonna call his bluff." "Because I think this is the last shot that I'm gonna get at having a biological child." "So, out of decency and respect," "I just wanted to let you know that you're gonna have a blood child in the world." "But that's all I'm doing, just letting you know." "I don't need anything from you." "I don't expect anything from you." "I am just letting you know." "She gets stung by 1,000 bees, it doesn't do anything?" "Her scans showed no significant changes." "Okay, well, what's next?" "Well, I signed you guys up for a clinical trial they're doing in Boston." "Great." "We love Boston." "When do we leave?" "Starts up in six months, if you get in." "What are we supposed to do for six months?" "As for other treatment options besides Interleukin-2, there's really just..." "Okay, wait, Interlochen-2." "We talked about that." "You said..." "You said you couldn't do that." "Technically, I could do it." "Personally, I can't do it." "Well, if she's not doing it, then why are you bringing it up?" "It's one of the only drugs out there with even a possibility of lasting effects." "For some people, it's a new chance at life." "If we could knock this thing out..." "I could die on the table." "The fatality rate is low." "So is the success rate." "Tell him how it works." "Well, it works by stimulating the growth of two different kinds of white blood cells." "So, a patient would come into the ICU, where we would monitor them and give them the drug intravenously for several days." "It's very toxic." "There are a lot of side effects." "Burning scabs all over my body, constantly throwing up, fluid on the lungs." "My veins could shut down." "And did I mention," " I could die on the table?" " I gave her a brochure." "I don't wanna get sicker trying to get better and then just end up dying anyway." "That's what I was trying to say about Marlene." "There was something kind of beautiful about the way she just left." "She shot herself in the fucking head." "Okay, six months." "We wait six months." "Hey, Thomas." "Hey." "I know, I keep taking you over to my house, you keep coming back here." "So, you know what?" "I am not gonna force the issue." "But whenever you're ready, you just tuck your chew toys under a wrinkle and come on over." "Hungry worker bees." "I brought over some chilli so you wouldn't have to worry about lunch." "You are too much." "That's so sweet, Cathy." "Wow." "Wow, you guys are really clearing out." "Yeah." "How are you holding up?" "The hardest part was realising what a hoarder Mom was." "I found this popsicle-stick house upstairs that I made in the second grade." "Trash or treasure?" " Trash." " Trash." "Really?" "That's your mom on her wedding day." "It's a great picture, I know, I love it, but I got a copy of it already." " Me, too." " Could I have it?" " Sure." " Sure." "Wow." "I hope whoever buys this place will be happy here." "It'll be so weird to look across the street and not see Marlene on her porch." "You won't see the porch, either." "What do..." " What do you mean?" " I have this realtor friend that says the house would cost so much to fix up." "We're just gonna tear it down, sell the land." "But it's a beautiful house." "Trash or treasure?" " Trash." " Trash." "I'll take them." "I'm pregnant." "Rebecca is a crazy son of a bitch, but she says it's mine, and it probably is." "I can buy that." "So, what does that mean?" "What does it mean?" "What does it mean?" "It means she's gonna push an infant out of her vagina and keep it and raise it." "And she wants me to stay out of it." "Are you okay with that?" "Look at me." "What do I know about being a parent?" "What do you think?" "You wanna know what I think?" "Yes." "I do." "I think you're gonna be a dad!" "Oh, God!" "And I think I'm gonna be an aunt!" "Yes, you would make this about you." "Come on." "Come on!" "Let me finish." "Let me have one moment of enthusiasm." "All right, moment over!" "Because I don't even know if I'll ever see this kid, or if Rebecca will stay here or go to Chicago or what." "Oh, then..." "I think you should stay out of it." " Really?" " Yeah." "Rebecca'll be great on her own." "She'll buy it little designer outfits and just spoil it with toys." "And the profits from those toys will keep a lot of corporations in business." "I..." "I..." "I'm gonna have to kidnap this kid and raise it in the woods." "All right, stop staring at me with that creepy smile." "When you said, "Let's watch a family movie," I thought..." "I was thinking Ace Ventura:" "Pet Detective or something fucking animated." "But you made us sit through Where the Red Fern Grows." "What did you think, Adam?" "It was pretty emotional, huh?" "It was cool, for an old-fashioned kind of movie." "Do..." "Do you..." "Do you get it?" "The one dog got injured and passed away, and then the other one died out of grief." " Yeah, I got it." " Yeah, he got it, he got it." "We all got it, we all got it." "I'm out of here." "Oh, yeah, Dad, can I get some money to go to lunch with Brent?" "No, you can't." "Are you my dad?" "Buddy, I gave you 20 bucks at the beginning of the week." "You gotta learn to make it last." "Fine." "Heart of stone, that kid." " God." " That's the saddest fucking thing" "I've ever seen." "God." "Hi, Cathy." "What did you do to Marlene's fish?" "We feel really bad about that." "But we didn't know what else to do." "We had to take the tank down." "We tried flushing them down the toilet, but they kept coming back up." "I'm sure someone would have taken them." "Yeah, but we gotta get home soon, and we just don't have a lot of time." "Where's Thomas?" "My fault." "I have the worst dander allergy." "I don't sneeze, but I feel like I want to, and my eyes get all runny." "We took him to the shelter." "He's 12 years old." "He has cataracts." "No one's going to adopt him." "Yeah, so he probably didn't have much time left anyway." "What can you do, huh?" "Get out." " What?" " On behalf of Thomas and myself, get the fuck out of our house." "Marlene might have been a little rough around the edges, but you're downright cruel." "You kill Marlene's fish." "You send Thomas off to die." "And maybe your mom didn't leave you the house to teach you a lesson, or maybe she just didn't like you." "But either way, she left it to me." "So, you take whatever you want, and you get the fuck out." "Because it's mine now." "And if you want to fight me on it, that's great, 'cause I just got in a fighting mood." "Hi, Paul." " I need to talk to you." " I need to talk to you." " You go." " You go." "I think we should go to Italy and live on the Venice canals for six months while we wait for the clinical trial." "I wanna do Interleukin." "I don't." "I was reading a blog about it." "It sounded awful." "They had horrible hallucinations." "They couldn't even finish." "Well, it was wrong for Marlene to check out early." "I mean, it wasn't beautiful." "And it wasn't fair to any of us, including Thomas." "I mean, maybe she didn't feel that she had enough support around her, but I do." "And Sean's gonna have a baby." "And I hope it's as cute as he was as a kid." "He was so cute." "And Adam, God, who knows?" "But if he's not ready to grieve, then I'm not ready to go." "And I am loving the new us." "So, maybe this treatment will make me look all scabby and weird-looking, which is gonna be harder on you than it will be on me 'cause I can just avoid mirrors." "I'm gonna hang on as long as I can." "And I'm going out ugly." "It will never be hard for me to look at you." " Hey." " What are you..." "Why are you..." " You're so clean." " I took a shower." "You took a shower?" "Yep, but I don't want to use a towel that you'll then have to use 1,000 gigahertz of electricity to dry, so, I'm just gonna run around the block real quick." "No, you are not going to run around my neighbourhood naked." "Well, if you're worried that I'll knock my nuts together and render myself sterile, don't." "These boys have already done their job." "Dry off." "It is so nice to see you clean." "Well, apparently, my nature scent was making Rebecca throw up, so..." "So, you're talking to her." "I'm planning on it." "I have something for you." "What's that?" "It's a house." "It's Marlene's house." "She gave it to me." "I'm giving it to you." "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no." "I'm not going to change my whole life and personality like you did just 'cause I'm having a kid." "I dare you to have a kid and stay the same person you are now." "Daring me just lowered your chances that I'll take it." " Fine." " No." "I am just going to think about it." "So, this treatment could knock it out completely." "I think it will." "My gut instinct is that it will." "So I'll be in the hospital for five days this round." "And, you know, I'm kind of looking forward to it." "I mean, lying in bed, reading magazines." " When do I get to do that?" " So, we've just gotta..." "You know, we gotta man up and not burn the house down, and help Mom out when she gets home." " Okay." " 'Cause I'm..." "I'm gonna look a little weird." "And I'm not gonna have all my strength back right away." "So, do you have any questions?" "Or any feelings at all you might want to pour out?" "I just hope you're gonna be okay." "I love you." "I love you, too." "Can I go over to Mia's?" " Sure." " Yes." "Here." "Take her these." "Okey-dokey." "20 bucks?" " No." " No!" "Okay, jeez, fine." "Guess crying skips a generation." "You ready to go?" "Paul." "Hey." "How are you doing?" "Good." "I guess." "They're just prepping her, so I thought I'd give her a little privacy, you know?" " Can I ask you a question?" " Yeah." "There's this nurse, Annabelle, who introduced herself to me, said she's gonna be doing the Interlochen." " Interleukin." " When she introduced herself to me, she dropped her pen, and then when she bent down to pick it up, she stepped on it." "And I'm just wondering, are we sure that we want, you know, Nurse Slippery Fingers to be doing this?" "Annabelle's a great nurse." "I'd let her stick me with a needle any day." "Look, Paul," "I'm not gonna tell you not to worry." "All right, but she's got top-notch care." "And I'm gonna be here every day." "I know you will." "And..." "I know I've been giving you a hard time, but I know you've been really important to her." "The way I see it, we have two options here." "Either you can have this baby and leave it on the steps of the firehouse for someone more qualified to raise it," "or I can help you fuck it up." "But you're not going to raise this baby by yourself and fuck it up alone." "If we're going to fuck it up, we're going to fuck it up together." "So, that's where I'm at." "Oh, and..." "I have a house now." "So, what do you have to say about that?" "You smell good." "Just close your eyes and relax."