"WOMAN:" "Tim, listen to me." "A certain amount of selfishness is good." "A marriage without selfishness is a marriage without pleasure." "And a marriage without pleasure is doomed." "Yes, we love." "Yes, we give." "Yes, we want to make our partner happy." "But it's like that announcement they make on the airplane." "If the cabin should suddenly lose pressure, first you must attend to your own oxygen mask, then put on your child's, your partner's." "Do you follow me?" "Okay, then." "The rest is simple." "You want to do something with Donna." "To Donna." "You've wanted to do it for a long time, but you thought it was wrong." "You thought Donna wouldn't understand." "You thought society wouldn't understand." "Well, today you're going to do it." "Right here." "Right now." "Okay." "Stand up." "Tim." "Nothing can happen unless you stand up and face your wife." "Now come on." "Are you embarrassed?" "Are you embarrassed to do it in front of me?" "Don't be embarrassed." "I've seen it all." "Now come on." "Stand up and face your wif" "( gunshot )" "Excellent, Tim." "Excellent job." "( gasps )" "( groans )" "What's going on?" "We fell asleep watching the news." "It's almost 2:00 in the morning." "Yep." "Oh, I just had the weirdest dream." "Of course you did." "It's a day that ends in "Y"." "( birds chirping )" "Joe?" "Girls?" "( indistinct chattering )" "But I feel funny not telling Mommy." "But if you tell Mommy, it won't be a surprise." "Right." "Hello, my sneaky family." "You don't give a dentist candy, you don't buy a kitten for a veterinarian, and you don't plan a surprise party for someone like me." "Who said anyone was planning a surprise party for you?" "All right, fine." "You tell the kids." "They're the ones who wanted to have the early morning meeting." "They're the ones that are really fired up about your birthday." "Really?" "So it was their idea, not yours?" "Hey, do I look like a fool to you?" "You are a deeply disturbed man." "Thank you, darling." "Now, listen, as long as you know about everything, there's a list of things they say they need for the party." "I can't get them until Saturday." "( chuckles ):" "You want me to buy supplies for my own surprise party?" "Well, it's not like it's going to ruin it for you." "Well, okay, fine." "You're the one that's going to be disappointed when all the good pi~atas are gone." "So what do you make of that dream?" "Some guy kills his wife?" "I don't mean to make you nervous, but that happens every day." "At the marriage counselor?" "Every other day." "With the therapist urging him on?" "I take your point." "I know it's not a realistic dream." "If that had really happened, it would have made the headlines." "I just can't figure out whether or not to mention it at work." "What do you mean?" "To the D.A.?" "Why would you do that?" "I don't know, I must have dreamt it for a reason." "Yeah, and the reason is, the TV was on, and subconsciously you were listening to a bunch of lunatics who are married talk about how they want to kill each other." "That's true." "Which is why the next time we fall asleep with the television on," "I'm going to make sure we got a little soft-core something going on." "You get my meaning, woman?" "Go to work." "Oh, yeah." "She heard me." "Call Maury Povich." "Tell him I'm ready for my close-up." "( sighing ):" "Ha-ha." "( cell phone ringing )" "Detective Scanlon." "WOMAN:" "Scanlon?" "This is Dispatch." "What's your 20?" "I'm at a crime scene in Scottsdale." "Scottsdale?" "That's not in your jurisdiction." "I'm having a difficult time copying you." "Why don't you call me back in 15 minutes?" "( cell phone ringing )" "Detective Scanlon." "Detective Scanlon?" "I guess we were disconnected." "The Lieutenant was looking for you." "May I connect?" "Absolutely." "Put him through." "( cell phone ringing )" "( ringing stops )" "Manny." "Thanks for coming." "You're the best." "Yeah, well, I'm starting to think that I'm the most naive." "Every one of these men wants to know what I'm doing here." "Every one of these men wants to know what you're doing here." "Tell 'em to take a 'lude." "It's a crime scene." "Lee, I'm not going to tell anyone to take anything." "And as a matter of fact, no, it's not." "It's not a crime scene." "Not the way you mean." "This is a murder-suicide." "This man killed his wife, then he killed himself, and that's how the Coroner's going to find and that's how the City's going to record it." "There's no need for a prosecutor, there's no need for a detective." "Particularly one who's outside his jurisdiction and is on the verge of being suspended." "Manny, you ever seen this?" "What?" "Bowling for Columbine." "I think so." "!" "Belongs to them." "They owned it." "It's like the Gone With the Wind of gun control movies." "Yeah?" "So?" "So you're telling me a young, married couple whose idea of a hot Friday night is watching an anti- NRA documentary keep an unregistered, loaded .32 in their apartment-- I don't think so." "Someone did this." "This is like the other ones, Manny." "They're connected." "Yeah." "But why are you the only one who sees it?" "You know, I've never really shared with anyone who you are or what you do." "Okay." "But I have a friend, he's a police detective." "He called me this morning, wants me to go to the mayor, get funding for a special task force." "What kind of task force?" "For the past two years or so he's been obsessed with a string of deaths here in Phoenix." "And?" "And it's destroying his career." "He's ignoring all his other work." "I don't think his personal life is anything to write home about either." "I don't understand..." "He sees a crime where others just see personal turmoil." "He sees a pattern where others see only random tragedy." "He'll tell you all about it." "He's waiting for you up at the crime scene." "I've asked them to leave the bodies and everything else they found exactly the way they found it." "I was pretty vague with him." "I told him that you were someone who worked for me, someone I trust." "Listen to what he has to say." "Look at the things he wants to show you." "Tell me what you think." "Okay." "Thanks." "Hello?" "SCANLON:" "Up here." "Put some booties and gloves on first, though." "District Attorney Devalos asked me to stop by." "Are you his friend?" "Guilty as charged." "Detective Scanlon." "Allison." "Allison Dubois." "So what do we have here?" "Young married couple found shot to death." "Guy was 29." "Girl 27." "Coroner thinks the husband put a bullet in his wife's head, then turned the gun on himself." "So what do you think happened?" "I don't know." "Not that." ""Not that"?" "That's your basis for a task force?" ""Not that"?" "Look, I don't know what it is exactly you do with the D.A." "I don't know what your specialty is." "Forensics?" "Linguistics?" "Criminology?" "Maybe you were with the FBI or the CSI or the CIA or the kiss my ass." "Don't misunderstand me." "I don't mean any disrespect, but me, I'm just a cop." "Not a specialist." "Started in Traffic control." "Glorified crossing guard." "And I'm here to tell you that I could look into a windshield 30 feet away and tell you if the driver was going to see the stop sign" "I was holding up or if he was going to run the intersection." "And I was always right." "Instinct." "It got me this far, so I listen to it." "Is there anything else?" "Yeah." "In the past 27 months, there have been three cases in the Greater Phoenix area of supposed murder-suicides among couples married little more than a year." "Well, they do say the first year's the hardest." "I wouldn't know." "But what I do know is, in the 90-some years prior to that, in fact for as long as they kept records, there wasn't one other case thought to be murder-suicide among couples married more than one year but less than two." "Not one." "Well, these are complicated times." "Phoenix is a bigger than it's ever been before." "People get married, there are bound to be disappointments, temptations... ( sighs )" "The first couple... was my sister and her husband." "I'm sorry." "He would've killed for her." "She would've killed for him." "There's nothing complicated about it." "They didn't do it to each other." "Someone did it to them." "Same thing here." "So, how do you want to do this?" "Do you want to wait outside, or-or should I call you or...?" "What do you mean?" "I need to be alone, so I can concentrate." "Oh." "All right." "All right." "( eerie breathing sound )" "Nice to see you again." "They did a wonderful job, don't you think?" "Really rose to the occasion." "Actually, I don't know what to think." "Who are you?" "Are you dead, too?" "Me?" "No." "I'm... no one." "I'm not even a real person." "I'm just energy left behind by the two of them." "A way for them to communicate with you." "Through your dreams last night." "Here, now." "They'd speak to you themselves, but their souls are still in shock." "Both their souls." "You see, this happened not because onwas angry with the other." "This happened because each loved the other more than life itself." "It's important to them you understand this." "( gasps )" "( groans )" "A third person?" "And you're cerin of this?" "Can I tell you who it is?" "No." "Can I tell you what they were doing there?" "Uh-uh." "Can I tell you why all this happened?" "No." "Not yet." "But I do agree with Detective Scanlon." "This is not something that these two people did to each other." "This is something that was done to them." "( slapping desk )" "I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!" "Thank you, thank you, thank you." "So what'd you pick up?" "A third set of fingerprints?" "A hair sample?" "Maybe there was something about the wounds?" "Lee..." "Allison specializes in a more... unconventional branch of criminology." "Okay." "So what is it convinced you?" "Some kind of evidence, right?" "Something Manny here can take into a court of law?" "Something he can use to..." "persuade the mayor to fund a task force, get some manpower and some resources on this case?" "( clears throat )" "I had a dream the other night." "Oh, crap." "Shoot me now." "She's not a criminologist at all, is she?" "Allison is an extraordinarily sensitive and intuitive person who I've worked with to great effect on a number of cases." "Do I have the word "jackass" stenciled across my forehead?" "!" "All right, you need to lower you voice." "Oh, my God!" "Did you hear what I said?" "What do I look like to you, Manny?" "She's one of those sob-sister fortunetellers that crawls out from under a rock when you can't find the missing kid and it's been over a year and the parents are getting desperate and they'll listen to just about anyone, isn't she?" "Point in fact, up until recently," "Mrs. Dubois was a very accomplished law student..." "What were you thinking?" "How the hell is she going to get me a task force?" "!" "What are you going to do?" "Walk up to the mayor and tell him she had a dream?" "No, seriously." "Answer me that." "How is putting me together with Milli Vanilli the Psychic here gonna get me a task force?" "You're right." "That was never gonna happen." "Would you mind telling me just what was the point?" "The point-- assuming she agreed with you that there was something worth investigating-- was that Mrs. Dubois is your task force." "That's it." "She's all the resources anyone is ever gonna give you, period." "Oh, boy, you really know how to make a girl feel special." "You're insane." "And you're insaner." "And you do have the word "ass"" "tattooed on your fehead except it doesn't have a "jack" in front of it!" "Don't you want to know about the other three cases?" "Seeing as how I seem to be the only person on the planet who agrees with you even a little bit?" "Wouldn't you want to know if I see any similarities?" "I don't know what's she talking about, Manny." "I don't have three other crime scenes to take her to." "Give her a set of the crime scene photos." "Will that do it?" "Well, it's a start." "She's here!" "Daddy, she's here!" "I'll watch the baby." "Whew!" "( rapping on glass )" "You just aged me by ten years." "And that would make you a whopping 38." "Very nice." "Good recovery." "I think I'll keep ya." "So, listen, so when you walk through that door, the kids are going to be all over you." "I told them I needed them to distract you so I could sneak all the party stuff out of my car and into the house." "Out of your car." "Yeah." "Of course, because you bought it because you are superdaddy and a superhusband trying to pull off a supersurpise party for..." "For my 28-year-old wife." "You're really pushing your luck." "Wow, the things you won't do to try and spice up our love life." "I don't know about you, but this does nothing for me." "It's not funny." "These people are really dead." "Boy, as you get older, approaching your 30s and everything, you're really starting to lose your sense of humor." "You know, you've gotten every bit of mileage you can out of that joke." "Someone's in a good mood." "The more I look at these pictures, the less sense everything makes." "( yawning )" "So, why don't you tell Devalos to take you off whatever this is?" "Tell him you're not getting anything." "Well, that's just it." "I am." "It's just what I'm getting doesn't add up." "And it's not just Devalos." "There's this cop." "This detective." "You should have heard him talking about his instincts." "Suddenly when it became about my instincts, about him working with me?" "Well, that would be insane." "I must be insane." "Well, then, this is perfect, isn't it?" "You don't like him." "Sounds like he doesn't like you." "The things you're sensing about this case aren't clarifying anything." "All great reasons to respectfully remove yourself." "Hmm." "Well, I might just do that." "I might just do that." "Good." "I'm glad I could be of help." "( alarm clock beeping )" "( groans )" "That makes no sense." "I'm just telling you what I saw." "What you dreamt." "What I saw in my dreams." "Help me out here, will you, Manny?" "All right, let me see if I can understand this." "You would see their faces..." "They came to me in flashes, like crime scene photos." "Right." "But always the husband first." "Yes." "And always having already been shot." "And that makes you think that the husbands died first?" "Allison, the husband was always found at the crime scene with the gun in his hand covered with blowback and powder residue." "You can't kill yourself first and then kill your wife." "Thank you." "Excuse me." "Could you remind the detective that I am on his side?" "It's all right." "Tell her I appreciate the help." "But I would really prefer it if her theories made a little more sense." "Excuse me?" "But with all due respect, ma'am, all you do is come up with things that contradict the physical evidence." "That kind of help I don't need." "At least I have a theory." "What's yours?" "You've been on this two years and what have you come up with?" ""My sister's husband wouldn't do that."" "Frankly, I'm not impressed." "Allison..." "Golly, ma'am." "Not impressing you?" "I can't tell you how upsetting that is." "I'll probably be awake all night." "Lee, would you give it a rest, please?" "( intercom ringing )" "I told you not now!" "( sighing )" "Well, I guess this was a bad idea." "You two are clearly not meant to work with each other." "Allison, I appreciate your time and effort, and I apologize for my friend's extraordinary lack of gratitude." "Lee, I hope I can count on you not to say anything to anyone about who Allison is and how we u her talents here in the D.A.'s office." "You're kidding, right?" "Is there anything else you would like to share before I put this investigation to bed once and for all?" "No." "We're done." "Yes, there's one thing." "Like I suspected, when I looked at the crime photos," "I always saw three people at every one of the killings." "Except for... this one." "This one had four people." "Oh, four now?" "Well, the killer bring a friend with him?" "Damn it, Lee!" "Hey, Task Force, you got any idea what any of these people actually might look like?" "I mean, that would give us a real leg up." "Are they male?" "Are they female?" "It doesn't work like that." "I don't see them." "I feel them." "Oh, well, okay, so does it feel like an Anglo guy or a Latin guy?" "Is he black?" "Or maybe he's got kind of an Asian feel?" "Wow, she's right." "You are an ass." "Thanks for that vote of confidence." "Yeah, and as far as this not being what it appears to be?" "Well, there's an old expression:" "If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, then it is a duck." "Personally, I think you're up to your knees in a duck pond, Detective." "rdon me, um, Mr. District Attorney," "The Third Precinct keeps calling, and they were wondering if you could run down there." "Apparently, they have some kind of situation." "All right." "Tell them I'm on my way." "Allison, Detective Scanlon." "Idiot." "Sorry to make you come across town, but the chief wanted to cut you in early." "Cut me in early on what?" "Our guys were called to a homicide last night and they brought this guy in, but nobody can quite get a fix on whether he's the victim or perpetrator." "And he's like, "I'm doing an experiment." "A social experiment."" "And he's standing there in my house;" "ski mask, you know?" "He's about my height, I think." "I don't know." "And he's pointing a gun at me and my wife." "And I'm like... "experiment"?" "What kind of experiment?"" "And I'm talking, you know?" "'Cause I'm thinking." "Talking is good." "Talking is better than dying, you know?" "And he's like, "You love her?"" "He's pointing at my wife." "I'm like, "Of course I love her." "She's my wife!"" "He goes, "Okay, here's the deal." "You shoot her and we'll let you live."" "And I'm like, "What?" "!" "Are you... are you insane?"" "He's like, "No, I'm a social scientist, you bourgeois A-hole!"" "And he takes his gun and he puts it right under my chin, right here, and he goes, "Okay, lab rat," ""you shoot her or I'll shoot you both." "Make a choice." "You wanna live?" "You wanna live?"" "And I'm like, "Yeah, of course!" "Of course!" "And he goes, "Okay, so do it." "Choose life!" "Shoot her!"" "And she's wailing, you know?" "She's screaming, and you can't even make out what she's saying, even." "And for a second, like, I almost thought she was saying, "Do it." "And I'm thinking, "Do it?" "Shoot my wife?"" "I can't!" "I can't do that." "I can't do that!" "And then, and then the gun was... the gun was so light... the gun was so..." "And then I'm thinking, "Oh, I see," ""I get it." "It's a joke." "It's a freakin' joke," you know?" "And he's got his gun right here and she's wailing, so I did it." "I pulled the trigger." "Mr. Conrad, so am I to understand that you're now admitting to what happened?" "Admitting that you did kill your wife?" "No." "No." "It's like I said before." "I did pull the trigger, but nothing happened." "It went "chik"." "Nothing." "It's an empty gun." "And that guy laughed." "And he goes, "You're the first one to ever do it." ""You're the first one I've ever met." "Congratulations."" "And then he just stood behind me, holding me and sudden I felt his gun leave my chin and ( mimics gunshot )." "He shot her." "( mimics gunshot )" "And I could feel..." "I could feel her... her blood, I guess." "Skin and stuff hit me in the face..." "in the chest." "And then he just..." "handed me the gun, the real gun... and he left." "So what do you make of that?" "Yeah, track down Lee Scanlon." "Ask him to come down to the Third Precct right away." "Ask Allison to come along, too." "Okay." "DEVALOS:" "And do you have any idea how this mysterious man in a ski mask gained entry to your home, Mr. Conrad?" "No." "I have no idea." "I came home from work, I walked in the door, and there he was, a gun to my wife's head, talking about how he's this social scientist guy and how we've been specially chosen" "to be part of his experiment." "So let me ask you this question." "Why do you think a killer would go through all the trouble to find a way to discreetly enter your home, confront you and your wife, kill your wife in cold blood right in front of you and then let you live?" "Don't you think he'd worry that you'd do the very thing you're doing now?" "Describe what happened, describe him to the police?" "Why would he do that?" "I..." "I don't know." "You think I did it, don't you?" "I didn't say that, sir." "Well, you don't have to be a mind reader to figure it out!" "I guess because I did it." "He told me he'd let me live if I did it, and then I did it." "( sniffling ):" "I mean not really, but..." "I showed him that I could... that I would." "I mean, think about it." "I know it sounds crazy." "I mean, it is crazy!" "But maybe it's not that crazy." "I mean, here I am, telling you about what happened, and you're thinking I'm crazy or I'm lying." "Which is what he wants you to think, right?" "So, actually if you think about it, it's not that crazy." "In fact, that's pretty smart." "Right?" "He's heading over to the crime scene." "He asked me to ask you if you'd like to go along." "So I hear you wanted some company." "Did someone have a change of heart?" "Nah." "Same old heart." "Remember yesterday when you said you thought there were four people there when my sister and her husband..." "Didn't make sense to me at first... then I remembered." "My sister was three-and-a-half months pregnant when she died." "Hey, Joe, this is Bill." "Gosh, I hope I'm calling the right number." "Uh, listen," "Jenny and I would love to come to the surprise party." "We both remember meeting Allison at the company Christmas party and we've been meaning to call and get together ever since, so this is, uh, this is perfect." "Anyway, count us in." "Uh..." "Friday night." "Your house. 8:00." "See ya." "That was great." "It's incredible." "Thanks." "And, uh, I can count on you?" "Mm-hmm." "Two tickets. "Our Town"." "At the Church." "Starring you." "Break a leg." "How does this work?" "I don't know." "Whoever made me this way forgot to give me an instruction book." "I like those." "Could you stop doing that?" "Stop what?" "I think I need some fresh air." "You feeling any better?" "You seen many dead people in your life?" "The reason I ask is, I've actually seen quite a few." "It's funny you come to a crime scene, you see them laying there, the first place you look is their eyes." "You know better, but it's just... natural." "You want to believe there's some kind of answer there, but there's nothing." "For me anyway, but..." "not for you, huh?" "There were flashes, like from a camera." "And you know what else is strange?" "The other night, I..." "I dreamt in pictures... photographs." "I mean, have to keep reminding myself that we're looking for a killer, not a photographer" "Excuse me." "I'll be right back." "Planning a wedding?" "Shopping for a photographer?" "I don't know." "SCANLON:" "Just an instinct." "( Bridgette screaming )" "Bridgette!" "If you don't let me brush those knots out of your hair, we're going to have to chop it all off!" "Don't let her chop my head off!" "JOE:" "Chop your head off?" "Aw, you bringing your work home with you again?" "Let me at her!" "Um, can I make a suggestion?" "Why don't we call in an expert." "Somebody with beautifully maintained hair, who also knows a thing or two about dealing with kids." "Hmm..." "Ariel!" "Oh, no!" "( chuckling )" "Or you can do it yourself." "Foiled again!" "Ow!" "Wow." "You one of those people who can talk out their ass?" "It's not funny." "Kind of funny." "Great." "We have a message." "( phone beeps )" "( sharp exhale )" "Hey, it's Bill..." "Hmm, nice." "It's someone named Bill from your office." "Hmm." "He's calling to RSVP for my surprise party!" "Cool." "You're actually very good at this." "You're quite the little the party planner and quite the surpriser." "Hey, you don't buy candy for a dentist, you don't give a kitten to a vet, and you don't waste time trying to surprise someone who's always one step ahead of you" "8:00." "Hmm." "Tomorrow." "Friday night at your house..." "Here?" "( phone beeps )" "You invited everyone here?" "Well, yeah." "Why not?" "Well, for one thing, who are you gonna get to clean all day tomorrow so you'll be ready to have this party?" "You're joking." "Well, I mean as long as you're not working." "It's... it's my party!" "It's supposed to be for me!" "It's my birthday!" "That's all the more incentive to... ( phone ringing )" "Aren't you going to get that?" "Why?" "It's one of the wicked stepsisters calling to say she's coming to the ball, but she wants me to stop and clean her fireplace." "Hello?" "Yes." "For you." "Hello." "Yes, Detective Scanlon?" "Sorry to be calling your house so late, but you want to hear an interesting coincidence?" "The man who photographed Conrad's wedding also photographed Tim and Donna's." "Wow." "And my sister's." "SCANLON:" "Feeling like paying him a visit tomorrow?" "Work." "Tomorrow." "Hmm." "Absolutely." "As long as I'm home before 8:00." "Okay." "Thank you." "( phone beeps )" "( pounding on door )" "SCANLON:" "Mr. Rondell?" "This is the Phoenix Police." "I have a search warrant." "You want to open up and let us in?" "( thudding )" "( yells )" "Go, go, go, go!" "It's clear, it's all clear!" "( voices over police dispatch )" "Any idea how your sister found this guy?" "She really doesn't want you to see her like this." "OFFICER:" "Detective?" "Mr. District Attorney?" "Look at the files he kept on these people." "My God." "What?" "First he'd photograph their weddings, then it's..." "like he owned them." "He studied them." "They were his test subjects." "There's gotta be hundreds of contact sheets of this couple's comings and goings." "They didn't even know th were being watched." "Going to work, getting the mail, birthday parties..." "Death." "He'd give them a year of marriage, and then... just after their first anniversaries..." "I think you need to look at these." "These must be works in progress." "We've got wedding photos, some surveillance, but no..." "I wonder who's next." "This couple." "Tonight." "How in the hell do you know that?" "Your sister told me." "( sniffling )" "( sobbing )" "Welcome home." "We've been waiting for you." "Close the door, please, and step into the room, where we can see you?" "Thank you." "We're conducting an experiment, a social experiment." "And your lovely bride and I would both very much like you to participate, if you would just..." "Who are you?" "I'm Detective Lee Scanlon with the Phoenix Police, and you're under arrest for the murder of my sister, Lorraine." "Now drop that gun, and I'll read you your rights." "( distant siren wailing )" "Or you can try something stupid and we'll get a priest in here to read you a different set of rights." "( siren continues )" "( car pulling to a stop )" "Please, give me an excuse." "( sobbing )" "( distant siren wailing )" "Put your hands behind your head." "You have the right to remain silent." "Fascinating." "It's an absolutely fascinating display." "Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law." "You have the right to counsel." "You so obviously wanted to kill me..." "If you are unable to retain counsel..." "and easily could have." "...counsel will be appointed for you...." "And yet, convention and society and a host of other outside forces convinced you that your own survival..." "...you will still have the right depended upon your ability to suppress your desire for revenge and let me live, and that's fascinating." "...are you willing to answer questions without an attorney present?" "I'm so glad I was here to see it." "That was extraordinarily courageous, Lee." "I'm genuinely proud to call you my friend." "Ah, there was nothing courageous about it." "I knew he wasn't going to shoot." "Not her." "Not me." "Not anybody." "Oh, and how did you know that?" "Oh, Allison told me." "I did not!" "I did not say..." "You didn't?" "...a word to you before you went in there." "Damn." "I must need a drink." "Anyone interested?" "Wait a second." "What time is it?" "Uh, 7:35." "I do believe I'm buying" "Oh, my gosh." "I completely forgot." "I have to rush home and get surprised." "But I'll take a rain check on that drink." "DEVALOS:" "Oh, right, right, right..." "Hey, guys!" "Sorry I'm late for dinner!" "Things got crazy at work... and..." "Hello?" "Anybody home?" "Okay." "I'll play." "Hello?" "( sighs )" "JOE:" "Happy Birthday, baby." "I don't get it." "Where is everybody?" "Well, let's see..." "Ariel is sleeping over at her friend Megan's house." "Bridgette's sleeping over at Hannah's house." "And Marie is at my sister's in Prescott." "What?" "Surprised?" "Confused." "Oh." "Did I leave out the part where you and I go to Mexico for the weekend for your birthday?" "( car horn honks )" "That would be the limo to take us... to the airport." "What about all the party supplies... ( chuckling ):" "and the phone calls?" "It's not easy surprising someone who's always one step ahead of you." "You bastard." "Thank you." "Now hurry up and put together a bag." "I'm going to go out and make sure the driver has the champagne chilling and gloat to myself over the fact that I finally put one over on you." "( chuckles )" "I don't know if I can get ready that fast." "Well, put your track shoes on, baby, 'cause our plane leaves in exactly one hour." "Hey, Hot Lips, hurry up." "Driver says there's traffic." "I'm packing as fast as I can!" "Okay, I'm ready." "I can't believe you did this to me." "I hope I didn't forget anything." "Just wait till your birthday comes."