"(Door opening and footsteps)" "(Coughing and chatter)" "(Man rustles paper and clears throat)" "MAN:" "This is a poem, that was..." "Um, o it i the ia." "Clears throat) It's for my son." "To A Child Dancing In The Wind." """Dance there upon the shore" "What need have you to care" "For wind or waters roar?" "." "Tumble out your hair" "That the salt drops have wet" "What need have you to dread" "The monstrous crying of the wind?" ". """ "(Laughter)" "(Gulls cry)" "(Waves lap the shore)" "Excuse me." "Excuse me." "Excuse me." "Excuse me." "James." "James?" "." "James!" "." "James!" "." "Come here." "Stay close, OK?" "." "Give me your hand, tight." "Hold it tight." "Sorry." "Sorry." " Sorry." " Where are they?" "." "Listen, Frank, You look after yourself, all right?" "." "Angela, this way." "Sorry." "Excuse me." "(Cheering and whistling)" " There she goes, boys." "Look at that." "Isn't that fantastic?" "." " Rob!" "." " Mum, there you are." "Hello." "I thought I was going to miss it." " Where's Grandpa?" "." " I don't know." "Pappy won't be coming." "He's not here." "Come on, Frank." "You're missing it, Frank." " You coming out?" "." " I'll be out in a minute, Danny." "How can they let someone else build our navy's ships?" "." "It's just the way it is." "And you..." "How can they let you go?" "." " You want this?" "." " No, thanks." "All right, Gus?" "." "(Whirring of machinery)" "(Siren)" " You all right?" "." " Joan Redmond?" "." " Yeah, I'm sorry." "Excuse me." "I'm sorry." "Excuse me." "I'm sorry." " Sorry." " Right..." "As I was saying, driving a bus is exactly the same as driving a car, except for the 50 or so back-seat drivers sitting behind you." "(Door opens)" "Rob brought the boys for your last day." "They were looking for you." "Gus Fuller lost his hand today." "Oh!" "How?" "." " One of the presses." " (Gasps)" "Will he get more money?" "." "I watched him do it." "That's you tidy." "See you soon, love." " Hello." " Hi." " JSA, pensions or disability?" "." " I'm looking for a job." "First time?" "." " Yeah." " You'll need to speak to someone." "Let's see who's free." "Angela." " All right?" "." " OK." "Look, Frank, you don't have to fill it in here." "You can do it at home." "(Breathes rapidly)" "(Panting)" " Won't be the same at work without Frank." " You got the boot as well, you dozy pillock!" "He might have a heart attack." "That happens, doesn't it?" "." "Work, Monday." "Redundant, Tuesday." "Heart attack, Wednesday." "Frank will be all right, then." "Today's Thursday." "What in the name of total insanity are you wearing?" "." " Och, I had nae clean ones." " Tell me they're not your mother's." "Don't be daft." "They're big Janine's." " She left them in the pub on Friday." " Don't let Frank catch you wearing them." " I knew they'd come in handy." " For what exactly?" "." "What if I get run over?" "." "Frank won't be coming swimming tonight." "I'm glad I got out when I did." "It's turned nasty." "Frank could have stayed like I did." "The men respect him." "All he had to do was let them upstairs think they were running the job." "Man's too pig-headed for his own good." " Frank, I didn't mean..." " Leave it, Eddie." "See you in the pool, then." "Frank?" "." "Frank?" "." " Frank?" "." "JOAN:" "Excuse me." "Frank?" "." "Frank, where are you going?" "." "eddie:" "Frank!" "JOAN:" "Oh, my God!" "Frank!" "Hey, man." "Hey!" "Get an ambulance, Joan!" "Please, no." "You're all right, man." "Get out of my way!" "It's OK." "He's OK." "Dad's fine." "It was a panic attack." "That's what the doctor said." " What?" "." " A panic attack." "Only, don't mention it when he comes out." "OK, let's go." " Eddie rang me." " Eddie's got a big mouth." " He was worried." " I slipped, OK?" "." " Can I get money for a can of Coke?" "." " You collapsed." " Mum says you had a panic attack." " I slipped and fell." "It happens." " What are you asking me for?" "." " Have you got money for a can of Coke?" "." "No, I don't." "Have you got your purse?" "." " No, I don't have my purse." " Ask your dad for the money." " How do I get out of here?" "." " Down there." " Right, left?" "." " That way, Frank." " Right, I'll find it." " I'm really sorry, love." "Come on, boys, let's go." " What is the matter with you?" "." " You shouldn't..." " You could have said hello." " You should not have told him." "(Bell)" " Hands." "(Lift door shuts)" " Is Pappy all right?" "." " Of course he is." "Do you like Pappy?" "." "Pappy and I are just different." "Pappy doesn't like you." "Oh, look who it is." "Frank's little girl." "(Sniggering)" "Are ourfish suppers ready yet, Chinaman?" "." "Oh, God love us." "He's a real chatterbox tonight, isn't he?" "." "(Chuckling)" "Tell you what." "I've changed my mind." "I fancy a curry." "See you Tuesday." "Just a bag of chips, please, Chan." "I heard about your Dad." "I'm er...sorry." "OK, Chan?" "." "Frank, all right?" "." "Good book?" "." "It's for my wife." "It's about cooking." "What are you looking for?" "." "I don't know." "But whatever it is, it's not in here." "JOAN:" "He doesn't know what to do with himself any more." "More than I can say for you, driving a bus." "Have you told him?" "." "No." "Don't want to give him anything else to worry about." "He's going to find out sooner or later." "He's shut me out again, Michelle." "Like when Stuart..." "It won't last long." "Are things better with him and Rob?" "." "Not really." " Good evening." " Hiya." " Bag of chips, please." " OK." " Is your Dad around?" "." " No." "Salt and vinegar?" "." "Please." "(Laughter on TV)" "Oh, hi, Frank." "Come on in." "I'm just off to work." "Tom Cruise is in the front room." "Eddie, it's Frank." "He's got chips." "TV:..but our industrious little beetle is about to meet someone altogether more scary..." "I've seen this before." "That wee beetle pushes that big ball of shite for what is the equivalent of six miles for him." "Then just as he gets to where he's going, another beetle comes... and steals it from under his nose." "It's what happens." "Wait, you'll see." "Six miles." "Poor bastard." "They'll have you shovelling shit, you know that?" "." "I know." "You still coming on the booze cruise to France?" "." "It will do us good." "I can see myself on the ship now." "Captain Eddie Fraser, beer in my hand and the sea air in my lungs." "DANNY:" "Oh, Eddie!" "." "That seagull's eating your puke." "He caught it in the air." "That seagull caught it in the air." "Puke again, Eddie." "Go on, puke again." "That's brilliant that." "All right?" "." "Bloody hell." "You can see France already." "Isn't very far, is it?" "." "Near enough to swim." "I wish I had." "(Laughter)" "eddie:" "Frank?" "." "Frank?" "." "You all right?" "." "How mad would you have to be to swim this?" "." "Totally." "DANNY:" "How far is it to France?" "." "eddie:" "We're in France, you dipstick." "DANNY:" "I know we're in France but how far is it from Britain?" "." "NORMAN: 20 miles, give or take the odd oil tanker." "DANNY: 20 miles, eh?" "." "How do they measure that?" "." "michelle:" "They look very small from here." "They are very small." "It's just us women like to shrink when we get near them." "You can't just swim across one of the busiest shipping routes in the world." "Who do you show your passport to?" "." "Punch and Judy?" "." " The deckchair man." " I was a deckchair man for a day." " Only a day?" "." " It wasn't what I was expecting." "michelle:" "Did you tell him yet?" "." "JOAN:" "No." "God, no." "I will." "He won't like it." "He'll think it's to do with him losing his job." "michelle:" "And he'll like it even less when he finds out the truth." "That it's got absolutely nothing to do with him at all." "Sorry to pull you back to the yard like this, Frank." "It's a small little matter." "I just need to prove something." "I know you must be busy." "So, you know these guys, Frank?" "." " So..." " I've told you..." "I didn't see anything." "He must have been desperate." "He's going to get nothing." "He used the wrong hand." "He's right-handed." "Duncan." "He crossed hands... to operate the press." "OK." "You should have been more loyal to the company, Frank." "You wouldn't know what loyalty is." "Loyalty is a full wage packet at the end of the week." "Loyalty is being valued." "Being happy with yourself." "Are you happy with yourself, Frank?" "." "Who do you think you are?" "." "You seriously think you can intimidate people into being loyal to you?" "." "There's not a man in this yard would piss on you if you were on fire." "Hi, Frank." "Cannae keep away, eh?" "." " I knocked a vase over." " Which one?" "." " The one with the crack in it?" "." " No, the other one." "Will it fix?" "." "I need to go and get changed." "(Squelches)" "So what if you swam the Clyde?" "." "It doesn't prove anything." "The Channel's a completely different thing." " Do you think you could, then, Frank?" "." " I know I could." "eddie:" "Look...you got made redundant." "You should just face up to it like everyone else." "Face up to it?" "." "Like you did, Eddie?" "." " That's a lot of reading." " It's a lot of swimming." " You think I'm wasting my time?" "." " A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials." " Is that a yes or a no?" "." " When do we start?" "." "Hey, hey, hey." "What have we forgotten?" "." "What's this?" "." "You know we're not allowed." "In you go." "I'll see you at 3:30." " Bye!" "." " Bye!" " All right, son." " Dad." "OK?" "." "You?" "." "Yeah, good." "Busy?" "." "Aye." "You used to have one of them." "Remember?" "." "Yeah." "They had one each but they're always losing them." "I was going to go for a coffee." "Want to come?" "." "I'd better not." "Got to get on." "Maybe next time." "Aye." "I promised Michelle I'd fix this for her." "I just wanted to see what was inside." "Now it doesn't seem to want to go back together." "Things aren't meant to be fixed nowadays." "No." "Not by you, anyway." "How's work?" "." "What was it Sausage Finger said today?" "." "Something funny." "No, I can't remember." "It was funny anyway, whatever it was." "The thing that he said." "It was funny." "I'm going to swim it, Ed." "I know you are." " Oh, my, that's a lot of reading." " It's a lot of swimming." "Probably mentions sharks." "Does it mention sharks, Frank?" "." "eddie:" "There's no sharks in the Channel." " This one shark, they opened it up and found a telly and a box of condoms." " They did not." " And don't tell me the telly was still on?" "." "Look, it's important they take this seriously or you may as well not bother." " Bloody hell." " Bugger me." "Are you coming or are you going?" "." " Sorry, Frank." " Sorry, Frank." " There is the training schedule." " I don't mean to be rude, Chan..." " Things to do to set the swim up." ".but" "I didn't think you could speak English." " I didn't think you could speak." " Danny..." "First, we need to register the swim." "I've only heard you say three words and two of them were "salt" and "vinegar"." "Will you let the man speak?" "." "Sorry, Chan." "Next, we have to get a boat and an experienced pilot." "How about Merv?" "." "He's got a boat." "Merv the Perv has got a boat?" "." "A daft pointy one, all chrome and shiny plastic." " I don't want to talk to Merv." "NORMAN:" "It's got a dinky wee bar." " Does it go fast, though?" "." " Like shit off a stick." "eddie:" "Two years, that's what it takes." "I want to do it in six months." "Would you have time to help me?" "." "Aye." "Ed, I would have asked you but I didn't think you would have time." "Aye, well, Chan is probably better at this sort of thing than me, anyway." "Look, guys, do me a favour and can we just keep this to ourselves?" "." " Sure." " Aye." " Is he in?" "." " Aye, he's in the kitchen." "Right." "(Doorbell)" " Good evening, Joan." " Hello, Norman." " I've got a cake." " Oh, very nice." "(Doorbell)" " Hello, Mrs Redmond." " Hello." " It's Danny." "Danny Campbell." " Ah, right." "You want Frank?" "." "He's...in the kitchen." "(Doorbell)" "Come in." "He's in the kitchen." "Keep your eyes open, James." "In here." "On you go." " All right, Rob?" "." " Danny, how's things?" "." "Aye, not bad." "Skint, no job, no girlfriend." "And I've been wearing big Janine's knickers since last February." "I can't complain." "It's not easy that, doing a woman's job." "Here, I'll leave you to it." "Rather you than me." " You OK?" "." " Yeah." "Leave it alone, you big numpty." "And try to stay on your feet." "I saw Dad down the pool again." "What's he up to?" "." " Swimming." " It seems he's there all the time." "Well, it does him good." "Away you go." " How did they both manage to fall over?" "." " Practice." " May we go up to our room?" "." " Yes, you can." "I didn't know you had this." "Angela dug it out." "It's a good sand boat." "Well, that's all you ever wanted to make, both of you." "It must be in your blood." "Biscuit?" "." " I go up there now and then." " Mm, I know." "Mum?" "." "I failed my bus test." "That's not bad." "Time's faster and you're getting more distance from the strokes." "But it's still a long way from the real thing." "You'd be better at bus driving than me." "I thought about it." "Kept seeing those ads." "So, why didn't you tell us?" "." "There's no sugar in this." " Can you take it again?" "." " You get three goes." "You should try for it." "You'd be good." "What, and have Angela give up work?" "." "She earns twice what I could." " I've said I can help with the twins." " And I've said they're my kids." "If I'm not prepared to look after them, then we shouldn't have had them." " What?" "." " You're like your Dad." "Right, boys, over to the side of the pool." "Right, go on beside Campbell." "Good boy." "Aaron, when you get to the side of the pool, just stop and wait." "Hold on, Jonathan." " You OK?" "." " It's all right, he's fine." " I'm all right." " It's the way he swims." "It's OK, just leave him." "Thank you." " Yes!" " Yes." "Did you see that, big man?" "." " Call that swimming?" "." " Aye." " Have you got a name?" "." " Aaron." "Good name." "Good swimmer." "Rob, hurry up." " Come on, let's go." " He's probably not here." "You said he comes here all the time." "Unless you don't want to." "I'm coming." "And I didn't say "all of the time"." "I said "some of the time", smartarse." "Where are you going to?" "." " All right, Frank?" "." " All right, Danny." " Who's that?" "." " I used to work with him." "ROB:" "I'm going to be first." "No cheating." "Ah." " You got a head start." " Ah, my toe." "Stubbed my toe." "ROB:" "Who won the race?" "." "BOY:" "You." "ANGELA:" "Somebody's going to get caught." " Whose clothes are whose?" "." " Anyone else in here?" "." "ROB:" "No, no, you're safe." "Will you come out?" "." "Why are you hiding in there?" "." "Get out of there." "You've got the shampoo?" "." "Have I?" "." "ANGELA:" "Why do men's changing rooms always smell of P-l-S-S?" "." "You're lucky, normally they smell of S-H-l-T." "What does that spell?" "." "(Laughter)" "ROB:" "Right, clothes on." "What's first?" "." "ANGELA:" "Come on." "Let's get dressed." "ROB:" "Your coat." "You're freezing." " See you Monday." " Excuse me." "See you Monday." " Just the three." " Danny." "Get his change right, Shirley." "He'll be watching the pennies." "It's not even May." "You can't go swimming outdoors this time of year." "I've got to get colder." "I'm going to Loch Lomond tomorrow." " There's frost forecast." " I think we should all do it, lend a bit of morale." " I'll do it." "What about you, Eddie?" "." " Oh, yeah, count me in." "Not me." "I support much better when I'm dry." "I'm more your dry kind of supporter." " Nice cake, Norman." " Yeah, less salt this time." "Here we go." "Come on, Eddie." "Where are you going?" "." "Eddie, come on in." "You can do this." "DANNY:" "Hold on, Frank!" "I'll be right with you." "Don't worry, son." "It'll grow back." "It better had." "I'm playing football later on." "Here we go, lads." "Nice cold beers to warm you up." "Cheers, Norman." " Hey, sláinte." " Sláinte." "The fire of the crucible." " God, what is the fire of the crucible?" "." " A Chinese proverb." "From now on you have to train in the cold." "Not only that, you have to swim 25 miles a week six days a week." " (Laughs)" " Here, I've got one for you, Chan." "Man who walks through airport turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok." "How did you know he's going to Bangkok?" "." "DANNY:" "Bang cock." "Bang cock." "We still need to get a hold of a boat so we can support Frank in the water." " I told you, Merv the Perv's got a boat." " But do you think he'd let us have a go on it?" "." "I don't see why not." "He'd let you have a go with his wife." "Bang cock!" "Bang co... (Laughter)" "Oh, no, I can't." "I thought I could but I can't." "I'll see you at the bus stop." "MERV:" "Hey!" "Hey, over here." "Come on." "Don't be shy, give it a try." "Merv, it's Frank." "Can I have a word?" "." "Ooh, hiya, Frank." " Hey, Vera, it's Frank." " (Muffled) Oh, hello, Frank." " Hi, Vera." "MERV:" "How's Joan?" "." "Joan's..." "She's fine." "She's..." "Yeah." "(Muffled talk)" "Oh, she's still after Joan's recipe for that lemon cheesecake." "I'll remind her." "Listen, I'm sorry, is..." "Is this a bad time?" "." " Cos I could come back later..." " No, no, it's great, Frank." "Norman says you've got a boat." "I was wondering if maybe we could..borrow it." " I want to shag it." " Merv probably has." "Are you sure you know what you're doing?" "." "Of course I do." "I used to be in the sea cadets." "A bit different to a leaky canoe on the Clyde, this." " Don't worry, I'll be careful." " Yeah, well, just make sure you are." "Are you not coming, Norman?" "." "Get on there with the missing link at the helm?" "." "You're joking, aren't you?" "." "No, I'll leave it till I find my sea legs." "Next time, maybe." " Help!" " Slow down!" "Right then." "(Engine won't start)" " Ah, you flooded it." " I'll fix it." "Just give us a minute." "Norman!" "Help!" "eddie:" "Norman!" "(Engine starts)" "Oh!" "Oh, shite!" "Bollocks!" "Aaargh!" "Keep your eye on that, will you?" "." "What's on your mind, son?" "." " I've been thinking." " What with?" "." "I was thinking..." "I could have a go at the Channel, too." " Yeah?" "." " Yeah." "What do you think?" "." "Do you think you're up to it?" "." "Oh, yeah." "Definitely." " Yeah?" "." " Definitely." "DANNY:" "All right, Rob?" "." "Evening, Janine." "Pint of lager, eight packets of crisps, assorted flavours, no prawn cocktail, two pork pies, three ham sandwiches, and a pint of Guinness, please." "I'm in training, swimming." "I've got to bulk up." " You're swimming?" "." " Training." "But I'm getting mentally prepared." "I'm in mental training." " So how's things with you, then?" "." " The same." "How is the big fella?" "." "What?" "." "Your little boy?" "." "He fell on his arse the last time I saw you." "Oh, yeah." "He's all right." "He does it all the time." " He bounces back quick enough." " Oh, yeah." "They're very bouncy, kids." "Like balls or castles." "Still..." "It's got to be the most difficult job in the world, that, being a dad." "Probably why mine left us." "But you don't miss what you never had, do you?" "." "Make sure you stay in front of him, Frank." "If the water suddenly gets warm, that'll be Danny." " How many have you eaten?" "." " Just the one." "Well, get rid of it." "Right, OK." "Don't do anything stupid." "If you get into trouble, go to the boat." "Yeah?" "." "All right." "Now remember, we're not superheroes." " I hear you." "I'm good." " OK, let's go." "What's that?" "." "Jellyfish." "They're fine." "They're fine." "Come on!" " It's colder than last time." " Slow down." "DANNY:" "Come on, here we go." "FRANK:" "Right, hey, Danny." " Watch this." " Pace yourself." "TAPE:" "You are king of the jungle." "I am a lion." "Now repeat after me..." "(Gasping)" "Right, there you go, Frank." "Why can't they just hold onto the boat and get it?" "." "Frank wants to do it right." "If they touch the boat, the swim won't count." "Now repeat after me, you are not a man, you are a wolf." "(Tape on fast rewind)" "(Car horn)" " Eddie!" "He's got cramp." " Start the boat, Chan." "Start the boat." "Danny!" "Danny, hold on!" " Danny!" " Hold on, Danny!" "(Engine won't start)" "It won't start." "It's OK." "Calm down." "Take it easy." " What did the doctor say?" "." " It's fine." "The doctor says he's going to be all right, no thanks to you." "He looks to you like a dad." "You should have stopped him." " It wasn't Frank's fault, Ma." " I will not have him go in the water again." "Ma, it was my own fault." "I just wanted to be the man for once." "Olympic superstar, Nike sponsorship." "Just be the man, you know?" "." "Like you." "I didn't want you to be disappointed." "I was when I found out it was Eddie that gave me the kiss of life." " Are you going training now?" "." " Mm." "Put some down for me, will you?" "." "He can help out." "On the boat or something." "But he wears a lifejacket if he's anywhere near you." " So his mother's not too happy, then?" "." " I should have stopped him." "Remember you stopped Rob swimming in here?" "." "Yeah, he was seven." "He cursed like mad when I pulled him out because his mates were watching." "Jumped right back in again." "Ah, you know, if I had disobeyed my father at that age, he'd have beat the hell out of me." "But I loved him." "I've never hit Rob." "Ever." "Not once." "We never can find two words to say to each other." "Seems like everything's backwards." "FRANK:" "That's us." "CHAN:" "Frank, you need to build up your stamina so we need to go for a big one." "CHAN: 1 5 miles, OK?" "." "FRANK:" "OK." "CHAN:" "Have you been for a medical." "FRANK:" "Yeah, I got the all-clear." "Why don't we just take a chance and go down to Dover?" "." "It's a long way to go if we don't find somebody." "You said yourself, if we don't find a pilot, you can't swim." "OK." "OK." "I'll go there later this week." "I'll come for the ride." "Get a saver, should be cheap enough." "Take Danny, too." "Make sure he brings his water wings this time." "It said "apply thickly"." "eddie:" "Maybe we overdid it." " I'm sorry." " Oh!" "Was it the lorry?" "." "But he swerved first." "Lunatic!" "Mrs Redmond, you need to be more..." "I'll let you go one more time." "There." "Right, I've just had a word with the barmaid." "Apparently there is a guy that can do it." "Goes by the name of Mad Bob." "Mad Bob?" "." "He doesn't sound normal." "He sounds frigging nuts." "Is he here?" "." "You looking for a boat?" "." " We might be." " Either you are or you're not." "We are." " So it's you that's going to be swimming?" "." " Mm-hm." "If you can't beat me, you ain't the man to do the swim." "And I ain't the man to take you." "I take it you're Mad Bob?" "." "We go on three." "One... ..two... three!" "BOB: 850 the crossing. 200 deposit." "No refunds." "But we get to see your boat?" "." "What for?" "." "We get to see the boat." "Righty-ho, you get to see the boat." "Shark." "35-footer." "Fell off my bike." "Two-wheeler." "FRANK:" "Let's go." "BOB:" "There she is." "Is this yours?" "." "FRANK:" "It's all right." "It's good." "Yeah, very nice." "CHAN:" "There you go, fellas." "FRANK:" "What date is it?" "." "eddie: 22nd June." "CHAN:" "Aye, it's the 22nd." "NORMAN:" "Hang on." "Is that a two or a five?" "." " You sure?" "." "Yeah, it's the 22nd." "ROB:" "One...two...three!" "(Cheering)" "Forthey are jolly good fellows" "For they are jolly good fellows" "For they are jolly good fellows" "And so say all of us" "And so say all of us" " Where were you?" "." " Sorry, I got held up." " I'll get you some food." " No, it's fine, I've..." "And a nice big piece of cake." " Were you waiting for me?" "." " They were." "It's fine." "It worked out better." "Come on, let's go crazy." "(Shrieking)" "Hey!" "Here." "So what did you get them?" "." "The kids?" "." "Since when did I do the shopping?" "." "Your mother likes to get those things." "You got them those racetracks." "Mum still does that thing where she signs the card and makes it look like you've signed it, too." "How's the swimming coming on?" "." "I heard you are going to swim the English Channel." " I didn't tell her." " You were right not to." " Why?" "." " Because you heard wrong." "I heard that Danny parked Merv's boat halfway up the beach and that you are planning to swim the Channel this summer." "Danny gets carried away." " Saw you down the library." " I like reading." " Saw you down the pool." " I like swimming." "What?" "." "I'm going to get some jelly before it's all gone." "You can have another go, can't you?" "." "I just can't seem to concentrate lately." " You told him at last, then?" "." " No, it's not that." "It's...something else." "I think he might be having an affair." "But he's acting so odd." " I'm sorry, that's just daft." "I mean..." " Well, there's Vera." "(Michelle laughs)" "It's not funny." "She rang last week and..." "It's probably just got something to do with the boat." " What boat?" "." " The boat." "The lads are borrowing a boat to help Frank swim the Channel." "What channel?" "." "Thank you." " Nice." " Mm." "You know we were talking about buying a car?" "." "Hm, I fixed the wing mirror back on." "Well, Michelle says Arthur Hall is selling his Metro." "It's red." " Thought we said a new car could wait?" "." " No, we didn't." "You did." "Well, we have to be careful with the money from now on." "Michelle says the insides are just like new." "She also says you've been borrowing Merv's boat to help you train to swim the Channel." "The English Channel." "And I was wondering when you were thinking about telling me." "I was also wondering how it is we can't afford a new car but you can afford to pay for a boat to show you the way to bloody France." "I'd be worried about you trying to swim all that way, Frank, if I wasn 't so angry." "I've never asked you for anything, Frank." "But honesty was something I took for granted." "Well, look who it is - the three wise monkeys." "Rob, your dad's got a few more lengths to do." "Why don't we wait for him outside?" "." "I know about his little secret." "I just want to talk to him, all right?" "." " Come on." " Eddie..." "Hey!" "You're a liar, Dad." "You lied to me about swimming the Channel." " Maybe I did." " Why?" "." " Is it because I don't have a job?" "." " It's not about you." "Because I look after the twins?" "." "I'm not ashamed of that, Dad." "I'm not ashamed like you think I should be." "Good." "You're not ashamed." "No, but you are." "You're the one who's ashamed!" " I'm not listening to this." " Why?" "." "What are you afraid of?" "." "Afraid I'll drown?" "." "Look at me, I'm drowning." "36 years." "36 years." "1 2 hours a day, five days a week." "Now you tell me, when was I supposed to go shopping?" "." "(Coughs)" "He'll be OK." "Just needs time to cool off." "We need to make sure you keep up the times." " No." " What?" "." "No." " I can't do it." "eddie:" "But, Frank..." "I can't do it." "FRANK:" "He's right." " Come on, Frank." "Come on." "I'm not going to be swimming." "(Turns engine off)" "Your father didn't mean to hurt you." "I was married once." "Her name was Bridget." "She left me for a jam salesman." "She never even liked jam." "I didn't bother with women again after that." "I was too scared the same thing would happen all over." "If anyone tried to get close, I just pushed them away." "Your father did the same thing with you after the accident." "Pushed you away." "He blames me." "No, he doesn't." "He blames himself." "Always has." "Now you're soaking the seat and it's leather." "It'll stain." "All that way, Frank." "I thought we were too old for secrets." "Like learning how to drive a bus?" "." "There was an ad in the paper." "I failed twice." "But I'm going to take it again." "I'm not giving up." "Let's just play when it smashes." "All right, you ready?" "." "You take that one, all right?" "." "ANGELA:" "We're not catching the train, James." "There's no point in racing, I've got the keys, remember." " (Whispers) Pappy?" "." " Sh!" " Are you playing a game?" "." " Yeah." "ANGELA:" "Don't make me come back out." " You better go inside." " Is it a secret?" "." " Yeah." "Like Daddy's wee brother?" "." "He says we mustn't talk about him." "That it makes you sad." "Does it make you sad?" "." "Sometimes." " I won't tell." " Good boy." "Are you going to swim the Channel?" "." "I don't know." "What do you think?" "." "Dad says it's too dangerous." "What is the Channel?" "." "It's the sea between England and France." "Are there any...sharks?" "." "No sharks." " Crocodiles?" "." " Mm-mn." " Piranhas?" "." " Bananas?" "." " Piranhas?" "." " Piranhas!" "No, no piranhas." "It doesn't sound too dangerous to me, then." "ANGELA:" "I'll count to five." "I can swim like a fish." "ANGELA:" "Are you stopping out here all day or are you coming in?" "." "Hey, big man, you not swimming?" "." "Yes!" "That's £5 you owe me." "I told you he'd be here." "We're the delegation." "A delegation?" "." " It's a kind of a gang." " Thanks for that, Danny." "Does the delegation have a proposal?" "." "eddie:" "Yeah." "We think you're wrong to give up." "Now we've come this far." " We also think you're a big daft bollocks..." " See him?" "." "See that little laddie with red hair?" "." "It takes everything out of him just to swim one width." "Just one." "He won't take any help and he never gives up." "Ever." " And when he gets to the other side..." " Yes!" "I'm not giving up." "That toilet needs cleaning again." "Do it yourself." "He's on his knees and she's..." "Take it steady." "All right, ladies?" "." "Pam." " Oh, my God!" " All right, love?" "." " You nearly finished?" "." " Uh-huh." "Only I thought we might go out." "You mean together?" "." "Oh, aye." "You and me." "Me and you." "Excuse me." "Please don't drop the bags." "They split." "Oh, aye?" "." "Sorry, pal." " See you Wednesday." " See you Wednesday." "I nearly drowned." " We heard." " In the sea." " What were you doing in the sea?" "." " I don't know." "Do you want to go out with me?" "." "Yeah!" "Good." "That's good." "Happy days." "(Shipping forecast on radio)" "You smell of chlorine." "Like Dad when he was laid out." "He used to smell of oil and Woodbines." "I was 1 6." "You came round to talk to Dad about something." "I couldn't believe how handsome you were." "I'm learning to drive a bus." "And then, if I pass, I'm going to drive a bus." "It'll be my job, a proper job." "Driving a bus." "I'm going up." "So should you." "You have a big day tomorrow." "Thanks for the sandwiches." "Good luck." "That...time when I came to see your father..." "I didn't." "I came to see you." "DANNY:" "I spy with my little eye..." " You'll never get this." "A. FRANK:" "Air freshener." "eddie:" "Ambulance." " No." " You might get it, Norman." "NORMAN:" "Why?" "." "Because you're nearer it." "You could say you're on it." " I'm on it?" "." " Kind of." "eddie:" "Arse." " No." "You'd have that as well." "Unless it was Norman's arse." "NORMAN:" "Leave my arse out of this." "DANNY:" "And that would be N-A." "(Gulls cry)" " You OK with heights?" "." " Yeah." " You?" "." " Oh, yeah." " You sure?" "." " Mm-hm." "FRANK:" "I was thinking about Joan." "I should have told her." "Don't know what I was hiding." " Maybe we should leave him alone." " Why?" "." "We should be there for him." " What if he doesn't want us there?" "." " Oh, you're as pig-headed as your father." "Of course he wants us there." "He just doesn't know how to ask." " But he's not going to achieve anything by it." " How do you know?" "." "Because he's not going to bring Stuart back by swimming the Channel." "Oh, Rob." "It's not Stuart he wants back." "I'm away." " Mum, thanks for the toys." " It's OK." "What toys?" "." "(Fart)" "DANNY:" "Better out than in, right?" "." "eddie:" "For God's sake!" "NORMAN:" "One more of them and you're sleeping in the car." "(Sniggering)" "FRANK:" "I knew a guy once could fart in German." "(Laughter)" "You took your time." "I'm sitting in the front." "The observer fellow seems all right." "Right, it's five o'clock." "Let's get cracking." "OK, don't forget, don't touch the boat or anyone on it once you get going or it will invalidate your swim." "When you get to France, get on dry land, pick up a stone and bring it back to the boat." "OK." " Good luck." " Thank you." "Thank you." "Well, go." " Good luck, mate." " Good luck, Frank." "Thanks, lads." "Right." "See yous." " You're not joining us?" "." " No, I don't float very well." "Me, neither." "OK." "(Boat's engine starts up)" "Come on, Frank." "That's the way." "Ah, we'll be there in no time, Frank." "It's a nice rhythm, that." "One, two, three, four..." "I'm all right, Frank." "I'm all right." "Carry on." " You passed, didn't you?" "." " I thought you'd never ask." "Well done, Mum." "Congratulations, that's brilliant!" "JOAN:" "I think we should celebrate with a gum drop." " The fumes are killing me." " I can't help that." "I'm keeping this close to keep you on course." "FRANK:" "I can't breathe." " I'll go ahead." " Well, what bloody use will I be then?" "." "Stupid bastard." "Bloody fool." "TAPE:" "I am confident." " I am confident." " I am a lion." "I am a lion." "I'm not a timorous beastie." "I am a lion." "eddie:" "He's doing great." " No, he's not." "At this rate he's not going to make it to the cap before the ebb tide." "And if he doesn't, he's going to get swept back out to sea." " lsn't that being bleak?" "." " No, he's right." "BOB:" "Look, I'll pick up the pace and he's going to have to keep up." "CHAN:" "Better do some hypothermia checks." "Can we get closer to him?" "." "Frank, where are you swimming from?" "." "England." " Where in England?" "." " Dover." " What day is it?" "." " What?" "." " What day is it?" "." " Thursday." "He seems all right." "Come on." "I didn't think to ask where in France he was swimming to." " There." "That's where he's swimming to." "ANGELA:" "How do you know?" "." " Pappy showed me." " When did Pappy show you?" "." "I'm not telling you." "BOB:" "How many times did you try it yourself?" "." "Three." " Did you ever make it?" "." " Third time lucky." "(Gulls cry)" "There it is." "Sortie - way out." " What is it?" "." " Ebb tide." "BOB:" "It's dragging him back out." "eddie:" "What if he can't beat it?" "." " Can't you do anything?" "." " He's in for the long haul." " He won't be able to last that long." " Yes, he will." "CHAN:" "His body temperature is dropping." "If he doesn't make this beach, he won't make it at all." "eddie:" "Frank!" "You've only three miles to go, Frank." "I know you're hurting, but you got to swim faster." "The tide's against you." "Frank, you've got to swim faster." "Come on!" "You can do it, Frank." "You can do it." "(Gulls cry)" "(Yells in frustration)" "FRANK:" "Stay there!" "Stay there!" "Don't move!" "Don't you move from there." "(Whimpering)" "Stop that." "Stop it!" "(Gulls cry)" "(Gasps)" "Come on, Frank, come on." "No!" "Is he all right?" "." "(Yells)" "(Joan cries)" "(Yells)" "Bloody hell!" "I need to come out, lads." "What do you think you're doing?" "." "Why don't you just take it slower for a wee while, see if it passes?" "." "I'm sorry, Chan." "I can't do it, mate." "You're nearly there." "Look it's not far." "I can't do it." "OBSERVER:" "Your body is hurting because you're burning your fat." "It won't last." "You'll get through it." "Yeah, Frank." "It's just the pain barrier." "It's all in your mind." " Get me out!" "It's too far." " Bollocks!" "It's always been this far." " You come in and swim it, then!" " Fine." "Get on board and we all can go home." "All my life I've looked up to you, Frank." "All my life." " I never saw you back down from anything." " It's too far." "I'm nobody but you know that." "But I'm not daft." "I see what's going on here." "Out here in the middle of nowhere." "But he's not here, is he, Frank?" "." "He never was." "It's taken you 23 years to find that out." "So what now?" "." "Well, I'll tell you what now." "You get back to swimming and you shut up about how far it is." "And you shut up about how much it hurts." "Because you don't have a choice." "You never did." "So, come on." "Get stuck in and put some down." "We're wasting time." "I'll go on, then." "ANGELA:" "It's him!" "No, I can't see for sure but..." " Yeah, that's Frank!" "JOAN:" "Let me see!" "Right there." "Look." "Can you see him?" "." "Come on." "Let's go." "Come on, I need to be there, Mum." "Come on, Mum!" "My God!" "If he touches him before he gets out of the water the swim won't be recognised." " Don't, Rob!" " Don't touch him!" "Frank!" "Let him get out the water!" "What's he want?" "." "Oh, God!" "What?" "." "Did I miss something?" "." " Yes!" " Yes!" "Yes!" "Come on." "DANNY:" "We did it!" "We swam the Channel!" "Norman!" "I took the ferry." "Get the stone." "Get the stone." "Pick up a stone." "Yes!"