"What I like to see-- surgery bursting at the seams." "Dogs and cats, and ailing budgies." "You taking surgery, or is Tristan?" " Tris, I think." "Splendid." "Just as it should be." "Thank you very much." " Now, no need to be prickly." "I have an excellent job for you." "One of Ralph beamish's horses." "Ralph beamish?" " Came in lame from exercise this morning." "I'll drop you over there." "It's very close to where I'm going, and it'll save petrol." " But, siegfried-- no argument, James." "If there's a war, petrol's going to be like gold dust." "We all have to do our bit." "I was thinking about Ralph beamish." " What about him?" "You know how disappointed he'll be." " Why should he be disappointed?" "He'll regard it as a mortal insult you haven't come yourself." "Nonsense." "You underestimate your popularity." "Not among the horsey fraternity." "They like someone who'll speak their own language." "We're in the business of treating animals and curing them, James, not chatting about them." "He won't like it." " It's something he'll just have to get used to." "I can't treat every animal." "We have to call a halt somewhere." "Siegfried, really--!" " No more about it." "Five minutes, if you please-- - top of the morning!" "Surgery's bursting at the seams." "Do something about it." "It costs nothing to be civil!" "What's he got on that's so important?" "He's asked me to look at one of beamish's horses." "He wouldn't miss the chance to stroll around the stables." " Can't you guess?" "We've got heaven knows how many patients." "How can I be expected-- herbie hinchcliffe." " What?" "That's what I reckon anyway." "Ever since herbie had Dolly put down, he doesn't trust himself with horses anymore." "You're not serious." "You don't believe-- you asked my opinion." "Take it or leave it." "Now if you'll excuse me," "I have a very busy surgery to attend to." ""Lost my nerve"?" "I never heard such piffle!" "Drink's obviously got to the boy's brain at last!" "Then why don't you come in with me?" "It's high time you did more of the horse work yourself." " And that's all?" "How many more times do I have to tell you?" "I'll call for you on my way back from duggleby's, huh?" "Thanks." "James...?" " Yes?" "I'm not saying that Tristan's right, but there's no doubt we do all benefit from a bit of a rest-- a change anyway." "Stops us from getting stale and careless." "Well, you certainly don't have to worry on that score." "Wonder if old herbie would agree with that?" "Siegfried, you know there was nothing you could do-- nothing anyone could do." "Isn't duggleby waiting for you?" "Yes, indeed, he is." "He's a tonic for the down at heart." "You're right, James." "And James, don't worry about old Ralph beamish." "He'd be delighted to see you!" "You mark my words." "James:" "Good morning, Mr. beamish!" " Where's Mr. farnon?" "I'm sorry, but he's got a very important job on." "Oh, blast..." "I believe one of your horses came in lame from exercise this morning?" "Yes." "Over here." "Harry, lead him out." "It better be important." "Damn pretty important!" "Or I'll want to know the reason why!" "Oh, it is!" "Terrifically important." "You know Mr. farnon wouldn't let you down unless it was unavoidable." "By gaw, you should have seen hutton t'other Saturday." "180, and never gave a chance." "His cover drive, now-- it were a joy to watch." "Pure poetry." "I'll give you pound to a penny, headingly's never seen better playing." "And as for Maurice leyland-- hey, I'm not keeping you, Mr. farnon, am I?" "Good lord, no, Mr. duggleby." "You can't hurry a cricket match." "Exactly." "He's a lionhearted player, is Maurice." "And were only into his second over." "You should have seen it, Mr. farnon." "Trot him up, Harry, will you?" "Can you walk him back, Harry, please?" "That's fine, thank you." "Whoa, boy." "It's all right." "Shh." "It's all right." "Mr. beamish:" "I'd say he's hurt his hip." "All right, boy." "That seems to be the trouble, Mr. beamish he must have been struck into about here." "Where?" "I can't see anything." "The skin isn't broken, is it?" "But he flinches if you press it, you see?" "So would you if someone squeezed your leg like that." "I'm certain that's what it is." "I suggest you try a hot antiphlogistine poultice above the fetlock, and alternate with a cold hose on it twice a day." "I'm just as certain that you're wrong." "The way that horse carries his leg it's obvious he's hurt his hip." "Harry, see that he gets some heat on that right away." "There's another horse I'd like you to see." "Remember Maurice leyland and Eddie paynter in the test match against Australia?" "Of course I do." "What a partnership." "That's something I'll never forget." "What a day that was." "Things aren't the same nowadays." "That's very true." "You're so right." "By heck, Maurice can thump them, though." "Aye." "Siegfried:" "What's up with your pigs?" "They're lame, are they?" "Oh, aye." "Lame." "That old sow I saw a month or two back?" "Aye, it's the same one." " I injected her." "That's right." " Is she lame..." "Or just the little ones?" " It's the wee ones." "You'll see in a minute." " How many has she got?" "10 this time." " Just one short..." "How do you reckon bill bowes will fettle with somerset?" "I reckon he'll skittle them, myself." "Clean skittle them." "He's certainly... certainly..." "A splendid fast bowler." "Hold this one for me." "I've seen them all, you know?" "Larwood, voce..." "G.O. Allen..." " Uh-huh." "Wilfred rhodes." "When did you first notice they were lame?" "Who's lame?" "The pigs, Mr. duggleby." "Oh, aye." "The pigs." "That would be this morning, aye." "I noticed a few of them were up and around with one leg in the air." "Hey, did I ever tell you the time I saw wilfred rhodes take eight wickets in an afternoon?" "This little fellow's got a temperature of 105." "Must be some sort of infection." "Could be joint-ill, maybe." " There were never anybody like old wilfred." "It was half past 2:00 and the wicket had had a shower of rain on it." "The odd thing is..." "That the joints..." "Aren't swollen." "I remember it like it were only yesterday." "The skipper threw the ball to old wilfred, you see?" "I'll never forget the look in that batsman's eyes, as old wilfred came up to bowl." "Thundering up two odds..." "Funny thing..." "Something the matter?" "Half the pigs in your pen seem to be lame, and there's nothing to show for it." "Well, happen it's like you said-- joint-ill." "You can give them a jab for that, can't you?" "Sure." " Aye, just like wilfred gave that batsman a jab, right in the middle stump." "Mr. beamish:" "Mr. farnon fired that leg six months ago." "He's been resting in here ever since." "What do you reckon?" "It's still sore." "I'd say you better keep him in a bit longer." "Oh." "I can't agree with you there." "Turn him out, Harry." "Mr. beamish--!" " Yes?" "Nothing." "Have you anything else for me?" "I can tell you what were wrong with that test side, Mr. farnon." "There weren't enough yorkshiremen in it." "It's been the same ever since I were a lad." "Some of these selectors ought to have their heads looked at, if you ask me." "You see, what it is..." "Mr. duggleby, look at this." "See those swellings there?" "The white knob?" "Aye." "And it's here." "And on some of your other pigs, I'll be bound." "Bad news, is it?" "I'm afraid so, Mr. duggleby." "I have to telephone the ministry of agriculture, tell them I have a case of suspected foot and mouth disease." "Foot and mouth?" "Are you sure?" "It's not up to me to be sure." "That's what the ministry's for." "But I've got to telephone them immediately." "Anyway, I haven't got a telephone." " You haven't got-- who has then?" " None that I know of." "Not around here." "I'm not supposed to leave the place until I've got the verdict." "Still, if there's no telephone, there's not much choice." "I shall need disinfectant, and a whole bucket of it." "I want to sluice the car down before I go." "Aye." "Mr. farnon..." " Not much time to lose." "If it is what you think..." "I'm afraid all your pigs will have to be slaughtered." "Every one of them?" "Afraid so." "That's the law." "Nothing I can do about it." "Believe me, if there was..." "Of course, you get compensation." "You can start up again." "In a year or two, who knows?" "Aye." "Or three." "Or four." "I'm very, very sorry, Mr. duggleby." "No" " I'll find the disinfectant." "Aye." "Well..." "These things happen." "How long has he been coughing, Mr. beamish?" "Long enough." "Hold his foreleg up, Harry, while I take his temperature." "Don't bother, Harry." "He's as quiet as a lamb, if he's handled properly." "Easy, boy." "Easy, easy." "It's all right." "Mr. beamish:" "Whoa, there." "Whoa, boy." "Whoa, whoa, whoa." "It's like having a dog, and barking yourself." "Whoa!" "Come on." "That's it." "It's bloody lucky for you he's all right!" "Who's that?" "Don't you turn your back on me, herriot." "James, James!" "Come here!" "If you don't mind, I'd much rather you" "I can't!" " Farnon, thank heavens you're here." "Don't come any closer." "Nor you, James." "I want you to phone the min." "Of ag." "Talk to Neville craggs." "He must get over to duggleby's place straightaway." "Have a look at his pigs." " What's going on?" "What are you sitting out there for?" "Gone off your rocker?" "I can't explain now." "Can Mr. herriot use your telephone?" "No, he bloody well can't, not until I know what's going on!" "It's really rather urgent." " So are my horses!" "What's so important about duggleby's pigs that you couldn't come here first?" "Foot and mouth, as a matter of fact." "And I've just come from there so I'd stay well clear if I were you." "When will they know?" "Neville craggs is pretty hot off the mark." "He just has to confirm the disease." "Every farmer in the area will sit around with his heart in his mouth to see if it's spread." "I've never understood why they slaughter all the stock." "It seems terribly savage." "They can recover." "Trouble is, it's so infectious, it can spread to neighboring farms while they were treating it." "Then around the country, costing millions of pounds." " That's right." "Slaughtering really is cheaper in the long run." " Well..." "Perhaps it's not foot and mouth, after all." "Siegfried seemed pretty certain, didn't he?" "As if it's hard to diagnose." " You mean, even you could?" "I didn't say that." "Poor old Mr. duggleby." "Poor siegfried." "After that business with herbie hinchcliffe it's the last thing he needs." "You can't connect the two." "It's pure coincidence." "I know." "Of course." "It's just..." "Siegfried does seem a bit disaster-prone at the moment." "Everything he touches-- - we'll have to be particularly nice to him then." "Cheer him up?" "Good idea." "Think I'll cheer myself up." "By the way, did you hear they've given the ultimatum to Germany?" "Now that's a splendid way of cheering us up." "I just thought you might not have heard." "I had actually." " Why didn't you tell me?" "What does that mean?" "Unless Germany withdraws from Poland, we'll be at war." " Helen:" "Are they likely to?" "As likely as duggleby's pigs are to have scarlet fever." "Here we go." "Thank you." " The funeral bake meets, eh?" "You got back, James?" " Yes, I collected him." "What news, siegfried?" " The very question I was about to ask you." "These farmers... have they seemed the least aware that there's a war about to break out?" "To hear them talk, you'd think the worst disaster to befall this country would be len hutton spraining his ankle on the second day at lord's." "What about duggleby's pigs?" "Bad news, I'm afraid." "Don't give me mine, my dear." "I've got to get all these clothes off-- they've got to be fumigated." "Siegfried:" "Mrs. hall?" " He's probably pretending." "That he's more cheerful than he really is?" "Yes." " Yes, I expect that's it." "Duggleby's pigs, siegfried." " In a moment." "Mrs. hall?" "Confound it, where are my clothes?" "I've got a busy afternoon." "Aye, Mr. farnon?" " My dear Mrs. hall, my clothes?" "What about them?" " I may be foolish and old-fashioned, but I hardly think our Yorkshire farmers would appreciate it if I tended their animals dressed like Noel coward in "private lives."" "I'm sure they wouldn't." " Well, then..." "There's a whole new set lying folded on your bed." "I put them in there while you were in the bath." "Come have your lunch." "Every time I try and catch you out, you always have an answer." "Why will I never learn?" " Siegfried!" "Duggleby's pigs, yes." "Sorry, James." "It's too early to be absolutely sure where the infection comes from, but Neville craggs thinks it's some imported meat that the poor fellow failed to boil up properly with his swill." "They've imposed a 15-mile standstill order till the danger period's over." "What else do you want to know?" "You don't seem put out about it, considering." " Considering what?" "Well..." " We mustn't get personally involved, right?" "But considering how poor duggleby must be feeling." "Shall I tell you why, little brother?" "It suddenly hit me-- as I was driving to the stables to find a telephone-- what if I'd missed it?" "If I'd let duggleby's chatter distract me and hadn't seen those telltale little blisters?" "What if I joined the sad crew of practitioners who've missed foot and mouth?" "It doesn't bear thinking about." " It could easily have happened." "I could have gone on my way, happily spreading the disease as I went." "As could duggleby-- taking it to market, sending it through Yorkshire and beyond." "We could have had a disaster of national proportions, just because duggleby's cricketing yarns were more interesting than a few lame pigs." "Now, compared to all that, my dear boy, the sacrifice of one solitary farmer's stock is a small price to pay." "I suppose it is, yes." " And when you think where I was going to call next." "Where was it?" " Bailey's!" "200 pedigreed shorthorns, a strain built up over generations." "I could be the cause of their complete annihilation." "Let's hope you've caught it in time." "And let's hope that duggleby hasn't spread it himself." "All we can do is wait, James." "Wait and pray, that's all." "Siegfried:" "Sorry for the delay, Mr. Bailey." "It was unavoidable, I'm afraid." "Beautiful creatures, aren't they?" "Mean the world to me, they do." "My family built them up from nothing." "You're a lucky man, Mr. Bailey." "Very lucky." "Aye." "I've had to come five miles by bus, Mr. herriot." "I'm only a poor widow, you know." "I've a good mind to demand a refund." "I hardly think that's feasible, Mrs. Beck." "I daresay young Mr. farnon would be more sympathetic." "I very much doubt it." " He is a very nice young man." "Mrs. Beck, there is one thing you seem to forget." "I can't very well give you a refund because you haven't yet paid for the operation." "I hope you're not suggesting I'm trying to avoid payment!" "Mrs. Beck, I" " I've never been so insulted in my life." "I find that very hard to believe." "Mrs. Beck--!" "Mr. farnon, I've had the most terrible time." "Have you?" "Come in the living room, away from the dogs, and tell me all about it." "Mrs. Beck, you seem to have forgotten" "Mrs. Beck--!" "You see, it's such a problem trying to make ends meet." "Especially when you don't have a man to provide for you." "Anything I can do-- - you could knock a bit off the bill." "A couple of shillings would do nicely." "It is only half the normal rate as it is." "10 shillings is a lot for a poor widow-- - yes, all right." "Eight shillings, would that be all right?" "Let's say seven." "It's my lucky number." "Well, I'll see what I can do, Mrs. Beck." "You're a gentleman, Mr. farnon." "Still, I don't suppose the money means much to you." "What?" "!" " I mean, the work's the thing, isn't it?" "Oh, yes, yes." "Well..." "My philosophy in a nutshell." " Did I hear the word philosophy?" "Ah, Mrs. Beck." " Mr. farnon." "Who were we discussing?" "Aristotle, hegel, kant or the dreadful Nietzsche?" "We were talking about Mrs. Beck's cat, actually." "Oh, the fair Georgina." "Did you know that according to Plato, there is an ideal cat, a sort of super cat, with which all other cats must bear comparison?" "Where do you suppose Georgina would come in the platonic scale?" "Very high, I'm sure." "How is she, by the way?" "What's the matter?" "I'm not infectious." " It's rather a pungent smell." "Of course, I don't notice it I'm so used to it." "It's lysol." "You should have seen them at the post office this morning." "I never got to the counter so quickly." "They fell aside like flies." "I'm not surprised." " I practically bathe in it." "I slosh it all over me at every farm." "I hope you do too..." "During the present emergency." " What emergency is that?" "Nothing, Mrs. Beck." "No... especially interesting telephone calls?" "Reports of it spreading?" "No." " Excellent." "You think it's just an isolated case, then?" "My dear boy, it's far too early to think of that." "The moment we relax our vigilance, stop taking every precaution, that's when it's going to strike." "Are you talking about the war?" " War, Mrs. Beck?" "Yes, a war in a way." "The war which never ends, the war against disease." "Well, I must be off to hunt's place." "Another cow-- milk fever." "Well, Mrs. Beck, if there's nothing else?" "There is just one other thing." "Miss westerman and I have one terrible worry." "If there's a war, there might be gas attacks." "Isn't that right?" " Well, yes." "But we have all been issued with gas masks." " Some of us haven't." "What?" "!" "Mrs. Beck, you weren't issued with a gas mask?" "No, I-- - that's absolutely disgraceful!" "That's hardly our province, siegfried." "What can we do?" " As vets, nothing." "As human beings, we can move heaven and earth." "I shall telephone Wilkins immediately." "Cut right through red tape." "Then I shall get on to..." "The editor of the darrowby news." " But, Mr. farnon-- don't you worry." "I'm not doing this for you alone, but for every unfortunate citizen who slipped through the bureaucratic net." "It's a matter of life or death, you realize?" "Nothing less than that." "You've got to hand it to him." "He doesn't let the grass grow under his feet." "Old Ted Wilkins won't know what hit him." "But I wasn't talking about me, Mr. farnon." "It's Georgina I'm worried about." "What would my poor pussycat do if there's a gas attack?" "Georgina?" " Aye." "Of course." "Now, look here, Ted, it's not good enough." " Siegfried--?" "I don't care what you say, it's an outrage." "For heaven's sake-- shut up." "38 million of the damned things were issued, why hasn't Mrs. Beck got one?" "B-e-c-k." "Lyndon cottage?" "Jasmine." " Jasmine cottage!" "Tristan!" " Ssskk." "Beep." "Rrrrr." "Hello, caller, I'm afraid there's a fault on the line." "What number were you trying to reach?" "I'm afraid it's out of order." "Try again later." "Thank you." "Goodbye." "Will you kindly give me an explanation?" "Certainly." "I have just stopped you making a complete and utter fool of yourself." "Mrs. Beck wanted the gas mask for Georgina." "She's already got one for herself." "Why didn't she say so in the first place?" "You didn't give her a chance to." "I never did care for Ted Wilkins." "Pompous, stuck-up sort of fellow." "I'll take the telephone off the hook, shall I?" "Certainly not." "We run a 24-hour service." "It would make it look more convincing." "I'll get on to the post office." "Tell them what a disgraceful service they offer." "Mrs. Beck:" "Mr. farnon?" "Good fellow." "Mrs. Beck?" "Mrs. Beck!" "Keep still, you beastly, bad-tempered-- ow!" "Oh, no!" "Stop!" "If you're trying to kidnap her, James," "I should warn you that Mrs. Beck is only" ""a poor, old, widow woman."" "Yeah." " I know." "Come, puss-puss." " Sharp claws, siegfried." "I'm not afraid of a little cat, James." "No, neither am I. But-- it's amazing." "It's not amazing." "You've just got to show them who's boss." "Would you like me to drive you and Georgina back" "come on, James." "Tristan:" "Here we are, Mrs. Beck." "Special gas-proof shelters for dogs and cats." "That's marvelous, Mr. farnon." "How much is it?" "You could always make one yourself." "It would be cheaper." "I'm not much of a handywoman." "I think I'd prefer to buy one." "Yes, I was just thinking of your penurious state." "My what?" " Your lack of funds." "Oh... aye." "Still, when it's a matter of life and death-- yes, of course." "No expense can be spared." "Mind you, these shelters will be in such demand, might be-- hmm-- months before you could buy one." "By then, who knows?" "Might well be too late." "Mr. farnon, don't say that." "Life can be very cruel, Mrs. Beck." "I do sincerely doubt whether herr Hitler will hold off his bombing raids until Georgina's got a gas-proof box." "He must be a monster, then." "Come on, baby." "Come on." "Come on, James, get a move on." "I should have been at hunt's farm half an hour ago." "Sorry." "Got you." "Hello, puss." "Who is it?" "It's your friend Ralph beamish, I do believe." "Oh, no." "James--!" "James!" "We agreed that you should do more of the horse work." "No, siegfried, you did." "I don't recall having anything to do with it." "What the hell's the matter with your bloody telephone?" "!" "My telephone?" " I've got a horse near choking to death in my stable, and I can't get through to the bloody veterinary." "It must be out of order, dreadful state of affairs." "Where are you going?" " To get James herriot." "I don't want Mr. bloody herriot." "I want you." "That's flattering, Ralph, but I have another job." "I've had enough of this." "Either you come now or I'll take my custom elsewhere." "I don't respond to bullying, Ralph." "You know that." "The name is beamish." "Mr. beamish!" "In that case, I think you'd better take your custom elsewhere." "I'm sorry the service we offer isn't satisfactory." "I suggest you go to Nash and sadler." "They too, have an excellent reputation." "Farnon?" "Siegfried...?" "Look, this is no ordinary horse I'm talking about." "This is almira." "Almira?" "Why didn't you say so, you damned fool?" "Come on." "We'd better put our best foot foremost." "One cat, as good as new." "Come along, my darling." "I'll leave you two to settle up then." "We decided on..." "Seven shillings, James." "You what--?" "!" "There's a scar, Mr. herriot!" "Absolutely right, Mrs. Beck." "That is a scar." "Georgina has had a major operation." "If you can tell me how to spay a cat without cutting her open we could both retire on the profits." "I don't like it." "I thought it wouldn't show." "It won't, eventually." "The fur will grow over it." "Will it really?" " Oh, yes." "Oh, I could pay you then-- when the fur's grown again." "That's fair, isn't it?" "We're too late, aren't we?" "That's the most valuable horse in my stable." "You know what it's worth?" "5,000 guineas." "What is it?" "What do you think it is?" "I've seen choking horses before, but they've never looked like this." "I'm sorry, Mrs. hall." " I'd be more careful, if I were you." "Of yourself, I mean." "You'll do yourself an injury rushing about like that." "There's so much to get through." "That's the trouble." "Oh, aye?" "What's so important it can't wait five minutes?" "It's too late, isn't it?" "There's no point in wasting time listening to his lungs." "Do something!" "Oh, well, of course." "That's it, then." "What am I going to tell the owner?" "That his horse is dead, and the vet didn't know what to bloody well do?" "Hello." "Well, James-- have you come to take over?" "No, just passing." " God, that's all I need." "What is it?" "I don't know, James." "First herbie and now this." "Better face facts." "This is more than a coincidence." "I've lost my knack." "That's nonsense." "What's wrong with him?" " That's exactly it." "I haven't the faintest" "James, come here." "What do you think that is?" "It's urticaria." "Nettle rash." " Uh-huh." "That gives us a chance." "Not a big one, but a slight one." "Beamish:" "Nettle rash?" "That's never nettle rash!" "It wouldn't cause all that." "Well, it..." "It very well might, Ralph." "It's nothing to do with nettles." "It's an allergic condition which is usually quite harmless, but in some cases it does cause edema of the larynx or the lungs, which is what we've got here." "What chance is there?" " Some." "I don't want to raise your hopes." "On the other hand, if the adrenaline which we've injected does reduce the edema in the lungs, then there's a chance." "I believe we're around the corner." "There you are, Ralph." "Helen, my dear, have I told you you're looking particularly beautiful today?" "Thank you, siegfried." " So are you, Mrs. hall." "Positively radiant." "What was all that about?" " Drink, if you ask me." "I know." "The all-clear's been given on the foot and mouth scare." "Afraid not." "We're still in the danger period." "But surely-- - no, honestly, darling." "It's perfectly possible that some unfortunate farmer, this afternoon will look at his pigs or his cows, notice some are lame, or there are blisters he can't account for..." "And the whole thing will start all over again." " Why isn't siegfried worried?" "That's a different matter." "I would say he just got his confidence back." "Morning, Mr. farnon." "Morning, Mrs. hall." "Something the matter, Mr. farnon?" "Oh, my goodness gracious." "How you expect to eat your breakfast wearing them things, I don't know." "Perfectly simple, Mrs.-- perfectly simple, Mrs. hall, you simply remove it, thus." "What you put them on for, at a time like this, I don't know." "Got a point, you know." "It's pretty revolting this time in the morning." "That awful rubbery smell." " It's all very well, but when else can you find half an hour in which to practice?" "And the half hour isn't up yet!" "But surely we don't need to put all this practice in?" "Half an hour a day, that's what they recommend!" "But I can't breathe!" " Mrs. hall:" "I hope you've got everything you want." "Yes, thank you, Mrs. hall!" "I'm sure we have!" "Mrs. herriot, Mr. herriot." " Morning, Mrs. hall." "If it's all right with you, Mr. farnon," "I'm going to church!" "If I don't hurry, I'll miss the half past 9:00 service!" "Certainly, Mrs. hall." "There's no need to shout." "Mrs. hall, may I come with you?" "Of course." "Are you sure?" " Yes, I'd like to." "Do you think I'm all right dressed like this?" "My dear, you look absolutely splendid, as always." "James:" "See you later, darling." "What about breakfast?" "Spiritual sustenance, much better than bacon and eggs." "James:" "Doesn't make you fat, either." "Frankly..." "Siegfried:" "I don't feel all that hungry." "Nor do I." "Helen and I were listening to the wireless last night." "Siegfried:" "Yes, I know." "So was I." "Dismal listening, wasn't it?" "What a gloomy way to spend a Saturday evening." "You should have joined me at the drovers'." "We had quite a party." "Helen got rather upset, I'm afraid." "Did she?" "It's a woman's prerogative, James." "Let's hope the good vicar's got something to cheer her up." "We'll know today, won't we?" "One way or the other." "That's right. 11:00, that's when the ultimatum expires." "Well, I'm not sitting around the wireless all morning." "Good man, you can come with me, then." "Oh, no!" "It's Sunday morning, siegfried." "It's just the day for what I have in mind-- an errand of mercy." "A charitable call on the unfortunate duggleby." "Siegfried:" "Hang on there a moment." "I shan't be long." "Good morning, Mr. duggleby." "Morning, Mr. farnon." " How are you keeping?" "Pretty fair by the look of it." "I could cope except for one thing." "What's that?" "Not the compensation?" "!" "I've not seen a penny of it yet, that's true." "Look here, if you think anyone's trying to do you down, you let me know at once!" "It'd be a positive pleasure to do battle with the min." "Of ag." "Nay, I think they'll play fair at the end." "That Neville craggs seems an honest enough sort of fellow." "Don't you believe it." "None of them's honest when it comes to parting with money." "Still, I grant you, he's better than most." "What is the trouble?" "It's terrible, Mr. farnon." "Honest, it is." "They've only gone and canceled the match against the m.C.C." "Meant to have started yesterday." "All because of this here war they keep talking about." "You know, sometimes..." "Well, I could kill those ruddy Germans." "Honest, I could." "Oh, dear, oh dear, oh, dear." "What a marvelous man." "A typical yorkshireman." "Country's on the brink of war, his entire stock's just been wiped out, an all he can find to worry about..." "Is a canceled cricket match." "Stop it." "Stop it." "Do you know what the time is?" "No, sorry." "I left my watch." "It's 11:00." "Oh, come on, brother." "To hell with Hitler." "It's Sunday, after all." "Let's enjoy it." "Come on, little boy." "Come on, come on, come on." "It were a lovely sermon." " Yes." "I've never seen it so full except Christmas and easter." "Half of darrowby must have been there." "I could think of a few more that could have turned out and do no harm." "They're probably busy." "James?" "Siegfried?" "Tris!" "He's probably back in bed." "Will I turn on wireless?" " Yes, Mrs. hall." "I wish James were here." "Announcer:" "This is London." "You will now hear a statement by the prime minister." "Do you have a wireless, by any chance?" "Nay." "Or a telephone?" " Nay." "You do know we're probably at war by now?" "I've heard talk of it, now that you mention it." "I suppose you don't know who it's with?" "Not off the top of my head." "But I could find out for you if you want." "Radio: ..." "Now, may God bless you all, and may he defend the right..." "For it is evil things we shall be fighting against-- brute force, bad faith, injustice, oppression, and persecution;" "and against them I am certain that the right will prevail." "Amen." "Sorry." "That's right, love." "You have a good cry." "Don't you think we ought to be getting back?" "Yes, you're right." "I'm just running away from it." "Don't you feel it, though?" "What's that?" " Now that the time has come, don't you feel an absurd desire to take this-- whole wonderful little world of ours and drag it off with you somewhere?" "Safe?" "Somewhere where evil-minded men won't be able to Chuck their bombs and poison gas about, and destroy what we love so much?" "Don't you feel that?" "Or am I talking the most absolute nonsense?" "No, you're not." "I know exactly what you mean." "I felt virtually the same myself." "Did you?" "I knew you would." "I knew that somehow-- we have our differences, don't we?" "But..." "We do understand each other, wouldn't you say?" "Tristan?" " I'd say so, yes." "One other thing..." "When we get back to whatever..." "Horror there is," "I mean, if the worst happened" "I think it will have done" "I want you to promise me one thing." "What?" "Don't do anything damned foolish." "Me?" "!" "Yeah, I mean-- don't be a coward, but..." "Don't go in for any empty heroics." "I'm not likely to." " On the contrary." "It's just exactly the damn fool irresponsible thing you are likely to do." "Just don't!" "That's all." "Nor you, siegfried." "One other thing I must insist on is that we all do carry our gas masks with us at all times." "Tristan:" "At all times?" " That's what I said." "Could be a bit difficult, eh, James?" "Tristan!" "James!" "Really." "There are ladies present." " I don't know what he's talking about." "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a meal to get on." "A war has been declared." "We've been asked to carry our gas masks." "I know that, thank you, Mr. farnon." "I'll carry me lung tonic." "Do you think they will drop gas up here?" "Don't worry, darling." " No, of course they won't." "Siegfried:" "You think not?" " They'll go for London first." "They're bound to." "My gas mask makes me feel so sick." "It's that terrible rubbery smell." "I tried mine on last night." " You did, did you?" "I should take it off now, James." "It's really not very becoming." "Ha-ha-ha." "I couldn't have kept it on for half an hour." "I'm sure I'd have thrown up." "If that's how you all feel, why should you do anything about it at all?" "Obviously the danger of dying from poison gas is as nothing compared with the unpleasant smell of rubber." "Good lord, you're all mad." "This is real." "It isn't a game." "We could be under attack at any minute!" "What do you suggest we do?" "Go around with long faces, bemoaning our fate?" "James!" " Or try to behave like normal human beings?" "Difficult for some of us." " Shut up, tris." "You're absolutely right, James, I'm sorry." "I'm not at my best at the moment." "I think you're at your very best." "Much obliged, cherie." " And I wouldn't have you any other way." "Neither would I." "Go on then, prove it." " James:" "What?" "You give him a kiss, too." "More thread, please, darling." "It's over there with the needles." "Come on, darling." "We'll be here all night at this rate." "I'm sorry." "I'm a bit tired." "Thank you." "What will it mean, James?" "To you and me?" "The war?" "Will it separate us?" "It will, won't it?" "Don't be so gloomy, darling." "It'll probably all be over in a matter of weeks." "What if it's not all over in a few weeks?" "What if you're called up?" "If, if, if." "You can't live life like that." "Anyway, have you asked yourself what we're fighting for?" "To beat the Germans." "Shh." "It's all right." "And to preserve our way of life." "At the moment, that seems pretty important to me." "Just to keep things going." "To keep up the service we provide so that the farmers can go on giving us the food that we need." "There's only one place I can do that, and that's here." "Yes, that's all very well, James." "But what if it's not all over in a few weeks?" "Well... then I'll have to think again, won't I?" "Yes, Mr. Bailey, of course." "As soon as possible." "Yes." "Goodbye, Mr. Bailey." " Was that Terence Bailey?" "Yes." "He wants you to have a look at one of his cows." "She's got nasty blisters on one of her teats." "Blisters?" "Hear that, James?" " Yes." "Did he say whether she was slavering or lame?" "No, he just said that she had these nasty little blisters." "You don't think it's foot and mouth, do you?" "That's exactly what I am thinking." "It does sound terribly like it." "Bailey's was my first call after leaving duggleby's." "You did everything you could." "Changed your clothes, disinfected everything, fresh instruments." "I know, James, but even so, I would be grateful if you'd take this one for me." "I think I've brought them enough bad luck as it is." "I'm coming with you." " What about your gas masks?" "In the car." " Good girl." "Did you find these blisters yourself, Mrs. Bailey?" "Aye, when I were milking her this morning." "I could see she were uneasy as soon as I grasped the teat, then I saw them-- lots of little 'uns and one great big 'un." "Most of the little 'uns burst when I milked her, but the big 'un's still there." "Where's your husband, did he have to dash off?" "Aye, we're having some evacuees to stay." "Poor little mites." "They're stuck at the station." "Oh, dear." "Perhaps I could come and give you a hand with them, when they've settled in?" "Aye, if you'd like to." " Very much." "Of course, you've none of your own, have you?" "No, not yet." "I'm sure they'll love it up here-- all this beautiful countryside." "Mrs. Bailey?" " They'll have to muck in with the other kiddies." "Mrs. Bailey, might I have some warm water, soap, and a scrubbing brush, please?" " Oh?" "Aye." "Thank you." "There is nothing in the mouth." "She said there had been no trouble with the other cows." "Not yet, but wait till it starts to spread." "Perhaps you're wrong, James." "It has been known." " I hope you're right, darling." "Believe me." "Do you know how long it would take Neville craggs to wipe out all these generations of careful breeding?" "An hour, that's all." "Or two at the most." "Nothing, darling." "Nothing but those damned blisters." "But that's good, isn't it?" " Is it?" "I'm not so sure." "You're not going to call the ministry in?" " I've got no choice." "We're in the middle of a district under foot and mouth restrictions." "I can't take that chance." "I've got to bring them in." "Thanks." "Everything all right, Mr. herriot?" "May I use your telephone, please?" "Of course, through there, in the front room." "Oh, I'm sorry." " James!" "He's all right." "Sorry." "He's beautiful, isn't he?" "Look at that, you wouldn't think his arm were hurting him at all." "Why is his arm hurting him?" "Did he bash himself?" "No, it's his smallpox vaccination." "Been right painful." "Hadn't it, giles?" " Smallpox?" "Did you say smallpox, Mrs. Bailey?" "Aye." "All the other children had it done at his age." "They never reacted like this." "I've had to change the dressing every day." "Let me get this straight-- you change the dressing, then you milk the cow?" "Aye, I suppose I did." "Don't you want to use the phone?" "No, thank you, I've changed my mind." "I wonder if it's possible for us to have a cup of tea?" " James!" "Of course, Mr. herriot." " I do apologize for my husband." "I've tried, but honestly." " No need to apologize." "As a matter of fact, I was just going to suggest it myself." "That's the ticket, Mrs. Bailey, thank you." "Come on, giles." "You come to your Uncle James." "Up we go." "Hello." "There's a good boy." "Give a big smile for auntie Helen." "Big smile." "What's wrong with that cow, then?" "Didn't I tell you?" "She's got cow pox." "Here you are, darling." "It isn't serious, but I'm afraid you gave it to her." "I gave it to her?" "What do you mean?" "It's perfectly simple." "The vaccine they give to babies is made from the cow pox virus." "You took it on your hands, from the baby to the cow." "Don't know what my husband will say." "He's that fussy about them cows." "Thinks more of them than he does his own children." "I'm sure that's not true." "But he is a beautiful baby." "Isn't he, darling?" " Yes, he is." "Aren't you?" "Even though you did nearly give me heart failure." "A baby's the best thing for reminding you what's important in life." "That's what I say." "Reminds me of what we're fighting for." "I'm sure you're right." "Mrs. Bailey..." "I'm sorry to mention it, but I think little giles has just-- oh, no!" "He hasn't, has he?" "Not on that lovely frock?" "Still, you know what that means, don't you?" "No, what does it mean?" "It's a sign of good luck."