"(ominous music)" "(screaming)" " [Narrator] There's a Sunday in spring full of wonder and magic, when children are anxious to fill up their baskets." "They wear their best clothes and they head to the church, but their minds are on eggs, and they're ready to search." "Far, far away in his underground lair, a magical creature begins to prepare." "All year long he's been waiting in his piles of hay, and it's finally time for kids for the day." "Before the big hunt, before he can hide them all, the eggs must be laid, but they're deep down inside him." "The pain is like fire, burning hot in his guts, and he pushes them out in a shower of pus." "(creature grunting)" "Tomorrow's the day, but before it gets sunny, the kids get a visit from the nice Easter bunny." "(creature growling)" " [Woman] Turn the page, and then turn it back." " [Man] What the fuck." " [Woman] Do it again."