"Previously on Blue Mountain State." "We are here officially on behalf of the NCAA to inform you that your team is under investigation for major rules violations." "COCAINE." "Do you recognize this man?" "He works for us." "Pot, coke, steroids." "Talk to Harmon Tedesco." "I'm the mole." "12 stars from Blue Mountain State, as well as the head coach Marty Daniels have been suspended by the NCAA for various rules violations and not allowed to participate in the national championship game." "I know i screwed up guys." "I'm gonna make it up to you, I swear." "We play the real BMS Team anytime." "Anywhere." "My name is Thad Castle, I'm Blue Mountain State football player who has been chosen by God to carry on a mission on your farm." "BMS!" "BMS!" "Whoo!" " What are you doing?" " I was taking a piss over there." "I was looking for you." "Hammer two." "Hammer two." "52 is the Mike." "52 is the Mike." "16." "Blue 16." "Hut." "Whoo!" "All day, Moran!" "You're nothing!" "I don't think so." "What's going on?" "You ran three plays." "We lost 11 yards." "Do you have anything that works?" " I'm trying, coach." " Jeez." " I need a ride." " What about the game?" " This is for the game." " Girls, quickly, take this woman anywhere she wants to go!" "Get out of here!" "Go go go!" "Go." "Hey, Wilson, here I come-- your worst nightmare, a freight train full of balls, muscles and tackles." "Down." "Hit." "Shit!" "Damn it." "Castle," "I'm starting to think the NCAA did you guys a favor by not letting you play in that game, saved you the embarrassment." "Waitress, waitress, hey, can you give me a couple more beers, please?" "Oh, and an espresso." "Those will be your fifth and sixth beers." " So?" " So it's 9:30 in the morning." "What, are you my mother?" "Get a life." "Marcus." "God, what, is this?" "Bitch Central?" "I'm here to make you an offer to make things right." "There's a game going on as we speak in a cornfield outside of town," "BMS vs. Blackwell." " No way." " Mm-hmm." "Marty needs you." "They're all over him." "I'm done here." "And you can tell Marty, whatever he needs-- he can shove it up his ass." " Watch your language." " No, you watch your language." "Cut the poor-me bullshit." "This game's real." "You'll have Moran, Castle-- all your weapons." "You've played Blackwell once before." "You have insight Marty doesn't have." "You're serious about this." "This is your one chance at redemption." "Do you want it or not?" "Down goes the big man." "Have fun in rehab." "Blue 16." "I smell me some fresh meat, boys." "Set." "Hit." "Whoo!" "Yeah!" "Jesus, Moran, your cheerleaders put up more of a fight than you." "Souvenir?" "Whoo!" "I'm gonna kill you!" "You son of a-- you're going down, Moran!" "I'm taking you down!" "That's the half." "Might have to amputate that ankle." "I would if it would make it feel better." "I don't think I can play." "If I still had my pot," "I'd get you so high you wouldn't feel a thing, but our asshole captain burned it to get God high." "Yeah, he didn't burn it." "What?" "He told me to burn it, but I'm not an asshole." "Follow me." "What did I tell you?" "Et voila!" "I was so sure you guys were gone." "Are you crying?" "Oh okay." "That's weird." "You are one weird guy, man." "Look, there's got to be someplace where they're vulnerable defensively." "They're kicking our asses." " I didn't see any, Marty." "This is a private meeting." "What the hell are you doing here?" "Oh man, I knew this was a bad idea." " Yeah, it was a bad idea, asshole." " Hey." "Marty, shut up and listen." "What, are you two both that arrogant to think you got here alone?" "Yes." "Marty, your offense is getting crushed out there." "And yes, Gilday can be a selfish prick, but he knows how to run an offense." "If this team has any chance at winning today, it's gonna start with you two." "You know, I grew up watching you, coach." "I used to want to be you." "And when I got to BMS," "I guess I just wanted it so bad that I lost sight of what it was that I loved about coaching in the first place." "I am sorry about everything." "Let me make it up to you right now." " Yeah." " Hmm?" "Tell me I'm the greatest coach that ever lived." "You are the greatest coach that ever lived." "You always come through for me, buddy." "You want some, Alex?" "No, he doesn't." "He needs to focus." "I need to focus?" "How did you talk me into this in the first place?" " This is a stupid idea!" " This isn't over yet!" "Might as well be!" "All right, everybody listen up." "That was the worst half of football I think we've ever played." "But it's behind us." "You know, what I said before the game about how this game was about sticking it to all the people who wronged us." "Well, I was wrong." "This game should be a celebration." "There's no media." "There's no money." "There's no NCAA." "There's no bullshit." "It's just football." "I want you all to close your eyes and think about the first time in your life when you realized how much you love this game." "What a beautiful day." "You know, Thad, there's no money in rollerblading." " So what?" " I'm just saying you can make a billion dollars playing football." "A billion dollars?" "Thanks, dad." "I love you!" "Hit this, little cousin, and you can smoke a bowl out of each bong." "Yeah!" "Pack 'em up, cousin Denis." "Yes." "Man, I love football so much." "Me too." "Now I want you to do another thing for me." "I want you to stop playing this game for that crystal trophy and play this game for that moment." "All right, everybody listen up." "We've been running screens to the left all game, but in the championship game that was their strongest side of the line." "Moran, I want you to fake a screen to the right, drawing over the left side." "And that leaves the middle wide open for a draw." "I've been faking screens all day." "They've been all over me." "That's 'cause you're not selling it, Moran." "You've got to make them believe that when you pump, that ball is going to leave your hand just like you make every single girl believe that she's the only one for you right before you take them to bed." " Hmm?" " Sounds mean when you say it like that." " Yeah." " It's a pretty good metaphor though." " Yeah!" " Yeah!" "Hey, are you all right, Donnie?" "How's the leg?" "I've never felt better, coach." "Put me in." "Put-- put me-- put me in, coach." "Put me in please." "Blue 16." "Blue 16." "Hut hut." "Hit." "Hit." "Donnie." "All right." "All right, Donnie's stoned off his ass right now." "So nobody moves until you see the ball move, understood?" " Ready?" " Break." "Blue 16." "Hut." "Hike." "Offside." "Defense." "Blue 16." "Set." "Hut." "Offside." "Defense." "I can't stop laughing." "Snap the damn ball, fatty!" "Hit." "Uh-oh, that's a touchdown!" "That's six!" "That's six!" "That's six!" "That's six!" "Check out, check out." "Watch the play action." "Hit." "Whoo!" "What time is it?" "It's sack time!" "What time is it?" "It's sack time!" "You just got sacked!" "Oh shit, did I ring your bell?" "Whoo!" "Hey, Stalin, you want to know something?" "I built this field all by myself with no help." "For real." "Yeah!" "Razor two!" "Razor two!" "Red one." "Red one." "Red one." "Red one." "Set." "Hut." " Go up the middle!" " Shit." " Oh!" " Jesus." "That must've hurt." " No way." " Is he all right?" "Go deep, Sammy." "Set." "Set." "Hit." "I'm open." "I'm open." "Yay!" "We won!" " Nice throw." " Thanks." "Thanks." "Time out, ref!" "Time out!" "Time out." "Blue." "What the hell is the mascot doing calling our last time out?" "Alex, listen to me." "There's seven seconds left in this game." "I didn't spend three days building a field, sleeping in a barn, drinking milk from a cow's tit and getting punched in the face by a giant douchebag for me!" "I did it for you." "Thanks, bud." "Hey, coach, last play of the game." "I think we run a post to the corner." "Their DBs are tired." "Look." "Coach, put me in the game." "We're on offense, Thad." "I know, but this might be the last time I ever put on this uniform." "And I want the weight of this game on my shoulders." "Look, I can't do that." "He's right, coach." "Who knows if any of us are gonna play again next year?" "No one wants this win more than the guys who didn't get to play in the Bowl game." "Now if you meant what you said in the barn, and you really want us to play for that moment, you've gotta let us." "I want to kiss you so bad right now, Moran." "All right." "I want in too, coach." "Me too." "All right, you guys, you can play." "Get in there." "All right, this is what we're gonna do, okay?" "T-formation, all right?" "They're gonna come hard from the left side which should leave the right wide open." "Harmon, you're the quick out." " Larry, you're the safety underneath." "Got it?" " Right." " Are we good?" " Wait, what do I do again?" "Just keep Stalin off me." "Don't you dare try to run it at me, Castle." " All right, you guys remember what to do?" " Is this a joke?" " Am I running or are you?" " The only joke is that haircut, Stalin." "Blue 16." "Blue 16." "Hit." "Whoo!" "Yeah!" "We did it, Sammy!" "You know my name!" "Yeah!" "You saved us today." "Whoo!" " Hey." " Hey." "You are all right, Moran." "You too, Castle." "Awesome job building a field." "Finaly!" "We did it!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "We did it, coach." "We finaly did it!" "All right, give it back." " What?" " We didn't play for that." " What?" "!" " Just give it back." "Oh, man!" "Hey, Thad." "God saved me enough weed, to add an extra foot to the mega spliff." "Shit!" "Let's light it up!" "Say " BMS"." "BMS!"