"Mr Tristan, what are you going to do with that?" "Spread it on a piece of toast and eat it, actually." "Not till after judging." " Judging?" "Yes, it's the Darrowby and Houlton Show, isn't it?" "How many jars are you entering?" " Just one." "Secret recipe?" "For 20 years I've tried to win that Home Produce Cup." "I'll get it this year if it kills me." "I'm sick of Mrs Grimethorpe smirking at me at the Wl." "Well, if at first you don't succeed..." "Hmm..." "No, now, come here." "Give it back, Mr Tristan." "Mind you, it's formidable opposition you're up against." "Aye." "Well, we'll see." "Hello, Tris." " Morning, Helen." "Did you get it?" " Yes!" "Oh, yes, Mrs Hall!" "Look!" "Oh, yes!" " Not a word to James." "I want to surprise him." "James, is that you?" " Yes." "There we are." "There we are." "There we are." "That's it and all about it." "How much is it?" "How much you got?" " Sixpence." "Only sixpence?" "You hold her. I tell you what we'll do." "Heads or tails?" " Heads." "Thanks!" " You win." "Don't let her mix with other dogs for a fortnight, all right?" "Goodbye." " Bye!" "Shan't be long, Mr Pickersgill." "You will never be a millionaire." "Who in their right mind would want to be?" "I think I might risk it." " That's typical of you." "You live and work in the most wonderful corner of God's earth, fresh air and freedom all around you and a nodding acquaintance with every licensee around, and you'd throw it all up for sleepless nights and ulcers." "I despair of you." " ls Helen in?" "The living room." " James, before you go... erm...er..." "You're the last." "Do you have a sample for me?" "Oh, that's excellent." "Thank you very much." "Just let me take her, please." "What about it?" " You've never been." "It's a rare and wonderful treat." "Come on, then." "Come on." "James, give me a hand, will you?" "Yes." " Come on, lovey." "Come on." " Up you come, puppy." "It's a slice of old England, all the tents and marquees and bunting flying in the meadow." "The women in their bright summer frocks." "Six inches of mud if it rains." " A truly mouthwatering experience." "How would you like to officiate this year?" "Officiate?" "Well, be sort of...official vet." "Fine. I thought you'd want to do it yourself." "I like to feel that I don't collar all the nice little perks." "Besides, it does rather clash with a previous engagement that I have." "Mother?" "Actually, no." "Does she ever ask after me these days?" "Do you know, she doesn't?" "Maybe that's significant." "What exactly do I have to do?" " Just roundworms." "Oh, practically nothing." "Grab her, will you?" "It's really nothing more than a sinecure, a pleasant day out." "You have to measure a few ponies, be on hand in case an animal gets hurt." "And judge the family pets." " Family pets?" "Oh, yes." "Nobody takes it too seriously." "The officiating vet is supposed to do the judging." "I think I can just about manage that." "Tell Mr Pickersgill what to do with his pills." "She's all right." " Right." "James, I give you my personal word and guarantee you'll enjoy every minute of it." "Splendid." "Thank you." "Wasn't it last year that woman hit you with her brolly for not picking her parrot?" "Yes, that's right." "I don't suppose she'll be entering again this year?" "Well, do you know... I wouldn't be a bit surprised." "See who that is and deal with it, will you?" "I'm absolutely hours behind as it is." "Thanks ever so much." "Oh." "Hello." "is something wrong, Helen?" "What could be wrong?" " l thought you'd be pleased." "You've talked about the show for a week." "I am pleased. lt's a marvellous show." "We can make a day out of it." " Of course we can." "And we don't have to pay." " Right." "I must put this away." "Excuse me." "Yes." "Was it something I said?" " Nowt to do with me." "Go on." " You just said it." "She's been looking forward to that show." "So?" " Make a day of it for the two of you." "So?" " Just the two of you." "That's how it will be." " Oh, aye." "Well, won't it?" "There will be the odd chore to do but..." "Like you spent your honeymoon, that were, weren't it?" "You vetting and her watching." "Not many would put up with it." "And now..." "Still, like I just said, it's nowt to do with me." "Patient for you in the waiting room. I must dash." "Good morning, Mr Herriot." " Mrs Bond." "Good morning." "I hope I'm not too early." " No, of course not." "Which one is it this time?" " lt's poor Boris." "Ah, yes, Boris." "The Gladiator." "You said you'd worm him today, didn't you?" "Oh, yes." "Worm Boris." "You will be gentle." "He's not happy shut up in his basket." "Aah." "Nothing to worry about, Boris." "Thank goodness it's you." "It'd be awful if he didn't like you." "Yes." "Um..." "Might it not be better if we waited for the other staff?" "Oh, no, Mr Herriot, I'm sure you'll manage." "And I shall help." "And look - l brought your own special gauntlets." "Just in case Boris doesn't like taking his medicine." "Oh..." "Thanks." "Now, don't you worry, Boris." "There's nothing to worry about." "It's just one little pill." "Hm?" " One little pill." "The gauntlets are a good idea." " l think so, too." "Just to be on the safe side." " Right." "Right." "Come on, Boris." "Please try not to frighten him." "I think perhaps he's a little bit overexcited." "And erm..." "Ah." "Thank you." "Just a moment." "Yes, here we are." "This won't harm him." "Just a means of restraint." " lt's all right, Mr Herriot." "He trusts you." " Oh, good." "Now, if you would lift the lid very, very slowly, please." "It's all right, Boris." "Come on, Boris." "Perhaps the gauntlets are a bit of a handicap." "Please yourself." "If I hold Boris very tightly in my arms... I'll hold him by the scruff of his neck." "Come along, my love." " Got him?" "Yes." " Good." "Now if I can get the..." "Come on, boy." "Good pussy." "Am I in your way?" "Good pussy." "Excellent." "Have to be firm with him, you know." "It won't hurt him though, will it?" "Come on, Boris." "Swallow." "There's a good..." "Ow!" "Oh, there, there, Boris." "He didn't mean you any harm." "Did you, Mr Herriot?" "Sorry, Boris." "I wonder if you could pick the basket up for me." "Thank you so much." "At least we got the pill inside him." "Boris." "No, Boris!" "No!" "Boris!" "Oh, Boris." "Oh, you are a naughty boy." "I've got him, Mrs Bond." " Have you got him?" "There you are, Boris." "No, no, no, no!" "Boris!" "Back inside." " ln there." "Have you got him?" "Hold it like that." " No!" "Oh!" "Should be all right." " Do you hear that, Boris?" "Shall we go?" "Goodbye, Mr Herriot." " Goodbye, Mrs Bond." "Thank you for being so...so patient." "Not at all." "There's no need to do that." "You'll be all right." "Mrs..." "More rhubarb?" " Not for me, thanks." "Goody!" "About the show tomorrow." " Yes." "I'm sorry about having to work." "Oh, James." "You have to work." "There won't be much to do." "Hardly anything, in fact." " Good." "What will you do while I'm doing what there is to do?" "Oh, James, don't worry about me." "I'll know lots of people there." "Richard, for instance." "Richard?" " Edmundson." "His father is show president." " Really?" "He's in the showjumping." "He was telling me about it." "Oh, was he?" "I met him in Houlton." "He gave me a lift home." "You never mentioned it." "Didn't I?" "It must have slipped my mind." "He's very good." "Oh?" "Do you want some more tea?" " No, thanks." "Surgery." "See you later." " All right, darling." "Siegfried, I've been thinking." " Good for you." "Well done." "About the show." "There is one tiny difficulty." "Tristan, is this your scrawl?" "Oh, yes." "Mr Caulder rang." "Caulder?" " Upper Meadow Farm." "Eversion of the uterus in one of his herd." "How is one supposed to guess that?" "Tristan, that will be good experience for you." "Thanks." " You're very welcome." "Difficulty, James?" " She was keen to go anyway." "Even bought a new frock." "Who was, James?" " Helen." "Of course." "You must take her with you." "I thought you would." "But it's not the same thing, is it?" "Can't be much fun sitting around while I'm working." "Look, couldn't Tris do it?" "James, you must start paying a little bit more attention." "I told you there wouldn't be any work to do, to speak of." "Just the family pets contest." " Tristan, here's your list." "How could I send him?" " Why couldn't you?" "Do you realise the beer tents open at dawn and close at dusk?" "He'd be staggering around without a leg to his name." "What are you thinking of even suggesting it?" "Sorry." "It's a rare and beautiful thing, brotherly love." "Hello, Mr Handshaw." "We've got a nice day for it, haven't we?" "Certainly have." "Programme?" " l'll have one, yes." "Aren't that veterinary here?" " No veterinary come by me." "He should have been here half an hour since." "Farnon?" " Herriot." "Oh, him." "I were with 'em in the Great War, they were puddle, the lot of 'em." "I am sick to death driving on country roads on bald tyres." "I should talk to Siegfried about it." "I have talked to Siegfried about it." "Frequently." "And to no avail." "Having trouble?" " You could say that." "Have you got a spare?" " Yes, we have a spare." "Were you going to lend us one?" " Hardly." "Can I offer anybody a lift?" "Helen?" "That's all right, thanks, Richard." "Well, see you later, then." "Don't just sit there." "Get the jack." " All right!" "Hello, Mr Handshaw." "You the veterinary?" " That's right." "Better late than never, I suppose." "'The music today, as always, 'is by our own Darrowby and Houlton Silver Band." "'And what a splendid band they are." "'So don't forget to show your appreciation, everybody.'" "Right. I'll leave you to it then, James." "That's good of you." " There it is." "It's a bit early, isn't it?" "Nearly midnight in Australia." "These things are entirely relative." "See you later." "Won't be a minute." " All right." "Mr Meeker?" " Well?" "James Herriot." " About time." "Yes, I had a bit of a puncture." "I've got a dozen horses waiting for you." "Right. I'll get onto it straightaway, shall I?" "Over beyond the big marquee." "Thank you." "Right." "Veterinaries!" "Hello, again." " Oh, hello." "You managed to get here, then?" " Yes, we struggled through." "Richard's father wants us to join him in the President's Bar." "I can't. I'm wanted over with the horses." "Oh, dear." "What bad luck." "Still, no point in you being at a loose end." "If Jim is going to be busy, he can join us later." "What do you think, James?" " Yes, why not?" "There's no point in it at all..." "as Dickie says." "'Will Mr Herriot report to the Stewards immediately?" "'Mr Herriot the veterinary, 'to the Stewards immediately, please.'" "Duty calls." "Well, I... I'll see you later." "All right." "You're the vet, are you?" " That's right." "Griffiths of Rochdale." "How do you do?" "You're a fussy lot this side of t'Pennines." "What seems to be the trouble?" " Lot of fuss about nowt." "Show judge wants you to take a look at me dog." "Reckons he ain't well." "Can't think where he gets that from." "He doesn't look too good." " You what?" "There's some sort of matter in the corners of his eyes." "Up you come." " That's not matter, lad." "It's the white powder I've been using to smarten him up a bit." "Some of it must have got into his eyes." "Well, we'll see what his temperature's like." "It's all right, boy." "It's up to 104!" "You what?" " See for yourself." "I'm sorry. I can't allow this dog in the show." "Hey!" "Hang on a minute." "I've travelled a long way to exhibit that dog." "Your dog is sick, Mr Griffiths." "You saw the thermometer." "He's been in the car four hours." "That's put his temperature up." "He's also shivering and closing his eyes from the light." "Your dog has distemper." "Distemper?" " ls he inoculated against distemper?" "He's as fit as I am." "Then if I was you I should see a doctor immediately." "Oh, you think it's funny, do you?" "I don't, no." "Anything but." "You should get that dog back home as quickly as possible." "Good day to you." "Herriot!" "What the heck are you playing at?" "You were supposed to see to them horses." "On my way there now, Mr Meeker." "That is a lovely spread." " Excuse me, Father." "Hello, Richard." "How are you?" "Cheers." " Cheers." "When did we last drink champagne together?" "At the Daffodil Ball." " So it was." "You disappeared mysteriously." "You know where l went." " To visit a sick pig." "To each their own." "So, how's married life, then?" "It's fine." "It can't be easy, being the wife of a country vet." "It's fine, Richard." "When are you going to get married?" "Only ever one girl in my life." "You know that." "Isn't that your father?" "Yes." "Shall we have a word?" " All right." "Look who I found." " Hello, Helen." "Hello." "How are you?" " Quietly falling to pieces." "God won't have me and the devil doesn't want me." "Your husband isn't with you?" "Probably up to his elbow in a sick cow at the moment." "What a revolting thought." "I thought you had another engagement." "Cancelled at the last moment." "A stroke of luck." "Wasn't it?" "Not entering the gymkhana, I hope." "Gentlemen's jumping, Helen." "Gentlemen's jumping." "Thought I'd teach Richard a lesson." "Come along." "Have something to eat." "I rather thought I'd wait for James." "He wouldn't want you to do that." "He could be hours." "Come along." " Give in gracefully." "Haven't I always?" "What a lovely girl." "She can cook, as well." "She could have the pick of the county." "I have the impression she thinks she's got it." "Which class?" " 14-2." "Hello, Mr Mallock." "No trouble yet, then?" " Not at all." "All straightforward." " Give it time." "Pardon?" " Be firm. I'll back that up." "Hello." "How are you?" " Fine, thanks." "Siegfried hopes you're coping." "Siegfried?" " He's in the bar with Helen." "That's nice." "Which class?" " 14-2." "He's a bit big, I'm afraid." "You allowed for her shoes?" " Yes, of course." "She was always 14-2 when Siegfried measured her." "Well, perhaps she's grown." "Perhaps if you tried again." "Very well." "Sorry." "You'll have to go up a class." "Thanks." "Come on." "See what I mean?" "It's started." "Now then, squire." "Come on." "Shush, shush." "Still." "That's it." "Still." "14 hands, right?" " Right." "Spot on, eh?" "You want to watch some of this lot." "They'll do anything to get into a lower class." "You know what his game is." " Game?" "He weighs them down before they're measured." "That horse has stood for an hour with 12 stone on his back." "Are you sure?" " Knocks a good inch off them." "Hello." " About that dog of mine." "Yes?" " Take another look at him." "He's got over his journey now." "That dog is sick." " Just once more, eh?" "Just to satisfy me." " Oh, all right." "He had a half inch knocked off once for shoes." "That bloody thing had no shoes on." "'The next item on the programme today 'is a display by the Houlton Company of Morris Dancers." "'So let's give them...'" "Got time for a pint?" " l could murder one." "Are you coming or aren't you?" "Thank you." " Hello." "What's your name, then?" " Beryl." "Same again, then, Beryl." "James, lad." "Beryl." "What a lovely name Beryl is." "Has sort of bells in it." "There's a good boy." "Come along, then." "Trot along." "Mr Herriot!" "Mr Herriot!" "Hello, Mrs Pumphrey." " l'm so glad I've seen you." "I was going to telephone." " Oh, yes?" "Ah." "How many times is that, Hodgekin?" "Too bloody many." " What was that?" "19, ma'am." " Oh, that's not nearly enough." "Carry on." "As you can see, I'm taking your advice and ensuring that Tricki gets lots of exercise." "Hm, so I see." "What's the problem, Mrs Pumphrey?" "It's Tricki." "He's very worried." "Oh?" "What about?" "About what's going to happen to him if I go before he does." "Go?" "Oh, I see what you mean." "There's not much chance of that." "One's got to be prepared for all eventualities and make one's plans accordingly, so... I've decided to make a new will... and I'd like you to be its executor." "Me, Mrs Pumphrey?" " Yes." "I propose to leave everything I have to Tricki Woo." "including Hodgekin." "And I want someone I know Tricki can trust to expedite it." "I see. I'm always only too happy to help Tricki." "You know that." "Oh, thank you." "Thank you, Uncle Herriot." "You've taken such a weight off our minds." "Have you eaten?" " As a matter of fact I haven't." "Then do have some smoked salmon and a glass of wine." "Thanks very much." " There, there." "'Mr Herriot, please!" "At the horses!" "'" "Oh, dear." "What a pity." "Yes." "Well, excuse me." "I'm sorry." "Come along, Tricki, darling." "Here's some nice cold pheasant from Mummy." "Look." "Come along." "Thank you, Mr Mallock." "Right, who's next?" "Which class, please?" " 12-2." "Bit too big, I'm afraid." "Here's a certificate to prove he's under." "The stewards told me to accept no certificates." "They must go under the stick." " Dad!" "You stick up to him." "Don't tha be intimidated." "What's wrong?" " He says the pony's over." "Show him your certificate." " He'll not accept it." "We never had trouble when Siegfried was officiating." "You'll not accept it?" " l'm applying the rules." "Your rules." " They're not!" "They've been accepted before." " Not here." "You've never officiated here before." "He's never officiated here before." "Has he officiated at any show before?" "If you don't believe me, ask the steward here." "Which steward?" " He was here!" "He's calling my lad a liar." "All right!" "You've heard my decision and that is that." "For the last time, come and take my dog's temperature!" "No, Mr Griffiths, I will not." "That dog is sick." "Do you understand?" "S-l-C-K." "If you don't get it off this showground immediately I'll report you to the RSPCA." "Now will you all please go away!" "Come on, son." "That's the way, Veterinary." "Stand no nonsense." "'Will Mr Herriot please report to the secretary's tent.'" "We were wondering whether you'd join us for lunch." "Yes." "Why not?" "Thank you." "Nay, nay, ladies, please!" "Not before judging commences." "And do you know the most extraordinary thing?" "There had been occasions when I thought Hodgekin wasn't fond of Tricki." "Oh, no!" " But I was completely mistaken." "When I mentioned to Hodgekin this business about the will, he said he'd be happy to look after Tricki and I wasn't to worry." "He'd see that Tricki got everything he had coming to him." "Extraordinary." " Yes, isn't it?" "Oh, there you are, Hodgekin." "Excuse me." "Guess who?" " At last." "Are you hungry?" "I'm ravenous." " Let me get you something." "Ah, James." " Siegfried." "How's it going?" " Fine." "A definite sinecure." " l told you." "You know Diana." " Yes." "Hello, again." "James, would you like me to get you a glass of champagne?" "Oh, that'd be marvellous." "Thanks." "A welcome break." "It's been quite a morning, really." "Really quite a morning." " Sorry, old man." "Urgent message from the secretary." "There's a stirk needs stitching." "Bleeding like a stuck pig." "Oh, no!" " Oh, yes." "Now where the deuce is he?" " Called out to a sick cow." "Oh, Lord." "I don't want to be critical but he's making a meal of it all." "What do you think?" "Hmm?" "Right, Mr Grimethorpe." "That ought to hold it." "Oh, that's all right." "Please don't mention it." "Boris." "Now..." "You'll be all right on the top there." "That's right." "Mr Herriot!" "Yoo-hoo!" "Mr Herriot!" "Now then..." "Where are you going?" " For my lunch." "Got a ticket?" " l'm a guest of the president." "You need a ticket." " l'm the official vet." "No sick beasts in here." "Could you tell my wife I'm here?" "Can't be done." " Why not?" "If I abandon me post we'll have everyone nipping in." "You're really enjoying yourself." " l'm only doing my duty." "James!" "A pint of bitter for my friend and colleague." "This is Beryl, James." "Beautiful Beryl." "Pleased to meet you." " And one for yourself." "Get these glasses off." " l've only got one pair of hands." "How is it Shakespeare had it?" ""She walks in beauty like the night" ""Of starry skies and cloudless climes."" ""Cloudless climes and starry skies." lt was Byron." "I knew it was one of that lot." "Where's Helen?" "Being entertained royally by Richard Edmundson." "Good grief. I thought we'd seen him off." "So did I." "You're back, then?" " Yes." "Thank you." "What a day, eh, James?" "What a marvellous day." "Yes." "Terrific." "'Ladies and gentlemen, the annual pets competition 'will shortly be taking place in the big marquee." "'All competitors...'" "Anything wrong, Helen?" " lt's James, actually." "I was wondering where he could have got to." "Shall we look for him?" " Oh, no." "There's no need." " l'd like a bit of fresh air." "Come along." "Mrs Pumphrey, how delightful to see you." "Thank you." " How's our favourite patient?" "Quite beside himself with excitement." "Why?" " This is a new experience for him." "He's never been in the family pets contest." "The family pets?" "Surely the dog show would be better for a personage of Tricki Woo's ancestry." "Of course, but Tricki's never been entirely happy about that." "Hasn't he?" "He feels it's a bit unfair on the other dogs, him entering at all." " Absolutely understandable." "And there's something so much more of a truly amateur feel about the family pets contest." "There is, isn't there?" "That's quite true." "The best of good wishes, Mrs Pumphrey." "I'll give them to Tricki." "Good." "'Mr Herriot to the family pets contest, please, at once." "You look a bit short of staff, Mr Bingley." "Has anyone ever told you what very beautiful hands you have?" "But they're all red." " Red hands are beautiful." "They show industry and devotion to duty and honest endeavour." "My mother has very red hands." "One of her finest features." "Give over, Mr Farnon." "You'll get me shot." "I'm telling the truth, Beryl." "And it's Tristan." "Tris, if you like." "Oh, Siegfried." "Meet Beryl." "How do you do?" "Where's James?" " Nipped to the gents." "He's due to start judging the family pets." "Yes, I mustn't miss that." "Mrs Pumphrey has entered Tricki Woo." "If I were James I'd make sure he walked it." "But you aren't James." " l'm not, am I?" "If Tricki shouldn't win..." " Quite." "What's Christmas without a hamper from Fortnum's?" "Hello." " Ah, James!" "All set to start judging, are you?" "About as ready as I'll ever be." "Nothing you want to go over with me?" "How do you mean?" "I'll choose the best three and that's that." "That isn't quite that really." " Why isn't it?" "What sort of criteria will you apply?" "How do you choose between a parrot and a puppy or a budgie and a bulldog?" "Minah or a mouse?" "James?" " l hadn't thought about it." "What criteria did you apply?" "I always had a chat with the owners first, find out how much they knew about the animal and, erm... how much they cared." " Very important." "And really make that my prime consideration, James." "Makes sense." "Thanks, Siegfried." "You did notice that Mrs Pumphrey's entered Tricki Woo?" "Yes." " Difficult for you." "What do you mean?" "It's common knowledge that Tricki Woo's fond of you." "Yes, but I wouldn't let that influence me, would I?" "Course you wouldn't." "Or the fact he sends you cigars and brandy and hampers at Christmas." "Just what are you two getting at?" "We're just appreciating your difficulty." "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and when it's her dog..." " What are you suggesting?" "That I fix the contest?" " Good Lord, James!" "No." "We're simply saying that..." " l heard what you said." "I think." "Loud and clear." "Excuse me." "You've got blood all over your shirt!" "Pull yourself together." "There's no need to do that." "There you are. I've never known so elusive a man." "Whenever you're ready, Mr Herriot." "Would you hold onto them for a moment, please?" "I wonder if I might have a private word." "But of course, Mr Herriot." "Excuse me." "Hello, Father." "Tricki has put me in a most embarrassing position." "He has?" " By entering the contest." "But why?" " l am, after all, guardian of his best interests." "As future executor of your will." "Good gracious, I never thought of that." "You mean, when Tricki wins, everyone will think you were biased in his favour." "Quite." " Whatever shall we do?" "I do have one thought." " Yes?" "Ladies and gentlemen, if you'll just wait a moment longer," "Mr Herriot wishes to make a short announcement." "Thanks, Mr Meeker." "All I wanted to say is that in addition to the prizes already offered, there will be a surprise additional award to the winner." "This will be presented annually by Mrs Pumphrey and will be known as the Tricki Woo Trophy." "In view of this, Tricki Woo will withdraw graciously from the contest." "Tristan, a Daniel come to judgement." "I think I've seen enough, really." "Right, Mr Meeker." "Boris won't like it if he doesn't win, Mr Herriot." "Don't do that, Boris, dear." "Where's Beryl?" " Gone." "Gone?" "Already?" " She was sent home." "By whom?" " Me." "Because of me?" " That could be part of it." "Are you her father?" "No, lad, I'm not her father." "I'm her husband." "What?" " That's right." "I think there's been a misunderstanding." "She wasn't wearing a wedding ring." "I looked. I always do." "She doesn't, not when she's washing up." "The lad with t'goldfish?" " That's the one." "What sort of family pet's that, a bloody goldfish?" "The boy really cares for that fish." "The bowl was clean and he knows his stuff." "You chose it, it's best you should announce it." "Right." "Pay attention, everybody, please." "Just settle down." "Mr Herriot will announce the winners in reverse order." "There's one thing I'd like to stress as show secretary... and that is the decision is his and his alone." "Thank you." "Ahem." "Right." "Third prize to number ten, the white rabbit." "Second prize, number 15, the guinea pig." "Well done!" "And the first prize and the Tricki Woo Trophy to number six, the goldfish." "Well done, Jeremy." "Congratulations." "Typical." "That's Jeremy Edmundson, the president's son." "They're friends of Herriot's wife." "She was with them all day." "It's the president's lad that's won!" "A friend of the family!" "Disgraceful!" "I had no idea who he was, Mr Meeker." "I didn't know." "If I had known I could have..." "Well, I..." "Cheat!" "How was I to know?" "I didn't even know Edmundson had a brother." "Down from boarding school." " How positively peachy." "Edmundson after you all day." " Jealous?" "Definitely." " Saved you some food." "I've had a terrible day." "I can't remember when I've had a worse one." "I nearly got tarred and feathered in there." "What are you laughing about?" " No reason." "Just that I love you." "What happened to you?" " Extraordinary thing." "Bumped into a tent pole." " Oh, really?" "'Final jump-off in the men's individual event 'will now take place 'between Mr Siegfried Farnon on Red Rocket 'and Mr Richard Edmundson on Foxglove.'" "Shall we say five pounds?" "Why not make it ten?" " All right." "Good luck." "'Clear round to Mr Edmundson.'" "All yours." " Thank you, Richard." "Come on, Siegfried, come on!" "'Bad luck." "Just clipped it." "Mr Richard Edmundson wins.'" "What bad luck, old chap."