"Oh, now you're telling me that your real daughter is pregnant?" " You got a problem with that?" " I am not marrying Lisa!" "I am marrying Theresa!" "Anthony, Anthony, little Anthony." "We are talkin' about my baby's baby." " Forget it!" " Fine!" "Finuccis!" "All right, all right, all right." "Call off your dogs." "Finuccis, sit!" "Wise decision." "Now wait here." "I'll get your filancée." "It's about time you two kids met." "What do you want?" "Could you tell Signor Provolone we in a hurry?" "We gotta do another guy 1 1 :00." " You do more than one a day?" " Oh, sometimes we do six, eight a day." "It's a cutthroat business, and if we get backed up, we gotta work weekends." " And we no like that." " No." "We family "man."" "You treat it like it's a normal business." "To us, it's art." "Show him the picture." "What do you think of this?" " You guys did this?" " Who else?" "That's a Finucci." "Oh, we get plenty business from this picture, huh?" "Maybe someday we do you too, huh?" "And when we get through with you, nobody gonna recognize you." " You look a little pale." " You okay?" "Now, this guy's willing to marry you, so be nice." " But I want Oscar!" " I want him more than you do... but he's on the lam, and Anthony's taking the rap for him." "Thank you very much." "Whatever happened to love?" "Whatever happened to romance?" "Whatever happened to waiting until the wedding night?" "Angelo, please!" "Not in front of the help." "Trust me, he's no help." "Connie, go wrap your teeth around some lunch." "Girls." "Lisa, this is your husband-to-be, Anthony Rossano." " Lisa." " Hello." " Hello, Lisa." "You see that?" "You're hittin' it off already." " Sometimes, arranged marriages work out the best." " Mmm." " Oscar was cuter." " Who's Oscar?" " The chauffeur." " You mean she's having the chauffeur's baby?" "Why don't you just phone it in to Walter Winchell?" "Angelo, let's leave the two lovebirds alone." "Good idea." "You two get to know all about each other, but, Lisa, make it quick." "I got people comin' at noon." "That's the best husband you could filnd?" "He passed the physical." "He's breathin'." "Finuccis." "So, you're pregnant with Oscar's baby?" "Would I be marrying you if I wasn't?" "You don't wanna marry me." "I'm in love with someone else." " So am I." " Then why are we going through with this?" "Because I'd do anything to get out of this house." " That makes two of us." " I wanna" "I wanna go on an African safari." "I wanna run with the bulls in Spain." "I wanna go to the top of the Empire State Building." "And where am I during all this?" "Baby-sitting Oscar's kid?" " You always this nasty?" " Yes!" "Get used to it!" "I'm marrying a brute." "I never wanna see your face again-- until the wedding!" "That's filne with me!" "And separate honeymoons!" " Fine!" " See you in church!" "It's probably Judge Crater." "Oh, hi, Dr Poole." "Come on in." "The boss been expecting you." " Aldo, do you realize what you just did?" " What?" "You used the past participle without a modifiler." "I did?" "What's the rap on that?" "Cool your heels, Doc." "He'll be right with you." "Marvellous." "Aldo is a treasure trove of linguistic anomalies." "I heard that." " Middlesex." " What?" "You're from Middlesex County in New Jersey." "Am I right?" " Yeah." "New Brunswick." " I knew it." "You see, the New Jersey accent... becomes increasingly nasal the further south one goes." "That's an amazing talent, Doctor." "Have you ever thought of working carnivals?" "Young man, I've made a serious study of the English language." "In my travels, I've uncovered 2,700 sub-dialects... in the United States alone." "Now, you take the attenuated vowels of the east Texans" "All that travel must cut into your home life, Doctor." "Well, I don't spend as much time with Mother as I would like." "But she's got the cats." "A brilliant scholar like yourself is still single?" "Oh, work has always come filrst." "This weekend, I'm off to Appalachia... to study regional colloquialisms among the coal-mining community." "Would you excuse me a minute, Doctor?" "You'll be here for a while, won't you?" "Oh, yes." "I'll be giving Mr Provolone his elocution lesson." "Good news." "We don't have to marry each other." "I found someone else." " Who?" " Someone who's handsome and intelligent... and worships the ground you walk upon" " Dr Poole." "Dr Poole!" "Say, what's the gag?" "He's old enough to be my father." "More importantly, he's old enough to be your baby's father." "What makes you think he wants to marry me?" "Because he loves you passionately." "He just told me." " But he's never said anything." " Ironic, isn't it?" "A man whose life is devoted to words, and he can't put together... the three most important ones." " That's so touching." " I knew you'd see it my way." "Stay right here." "Finuccis in, Finuccis out, Finuccis in." "He give me agita." "Lisa." "Anthony's trying to tell me that now you're in love with Dr Poole." " Yes, I am." " You see?" "What?" "Oh, Daddy, yes." "He's so sweet, so intelligent, so cultured... not like some other fellas I know." "Well, put Poole out of your mind." "You're marrying Anthony." " But I love Thornton!" " Oh, so now it's Thornton?" " Oh, stop that bawling', will ya?" " He's the only sensitive man I've ever met." "What are you sayin'?" "I'm not sensitive?" "All right, Lisa." "Lisa, stop-- Will you stop" "If it's Poole you want, it's Poole you'll get, but, Lisa... you got to cross the filnish line on this one." "He's your third filancé today, and it's not even lunch yet!" "Look, Mr Provolone, now that she has a husband, can I have back the statement I signed?" "Forget about it." "I'm keeping you on the bench... in case this guy doesn't come through." "Good mornin', Doc." "Now, now, Mr Provolone." " Where are those Gs?" " In here." "No, no." "You're not enunciating." ""Good morning, Dr Poole."" "Oh, yeah, right." "Don't you have somethin' to do?" "Yes, I do, as a matter of fact." "Goodbye, Mr Provolone." "Goodbye, Dr Poole." "Now look." "That guy's leavin' again." "And here comes the priest." " Enter at your own risk, Father." " Aldo, haven't seen you at Mass lately." "Oh, really, Father?" "I can't imagine why." "Now, remember, Mr Provolone... speech is man's most important tool for the conveyance of thought." "Yeah, Doc, but when am I gonna start sounding' like a banker?" "After me." "'Round the rough and rugged rocks... the ragged rascal rudely ran." "'Round the rough and rugged rocks, the ragged ra" "'Round the rough and rugged rocks... the ragged" "'Round the rough and rascal, the ragged" "Look, Doc, I just can't do it." "I'll never learn to speak good." "Do not despair, Mr Provolone." "Let's try a new line of attack, shall we?" "After me." "Rocco the Rum Runner rubbed out Rico the Rat with his roscoe... for robbing his rum-running receipts." " Can you say that?" " Rocco the Rum Runner... rubbed out Rico the Rat with his roscoe... for robbin' his rum-runnin' receipts!" " You did it!" " Sure." "You filnally come up with somethin' that made sense." "Excuse me, Mr Provolone." "I'll be goin' now, if you don't mind." " So what's keepin' ya?" " Well... there's the little matter of a week's pay you'll be owing' me." "She should pay me for introducing her to Bruce Underwood." "I'm glad I'll no longer be workin' in this house." "From now on, I'll be havin' servants of me own." "You'll filnd out what a picnic that is!" "Shocking insolence." "I would've terminated her immediately." "I can't do that any more." "The best I could do is filre her." "Listen, Doc, I'd like to talk to you... about a little diffilculty my daughter's havin'." "Really?" "She seems to have such nicely-rounded diphthongs." "That's what got her into this jam." "You see, my daughter's turning 1 8, and she wants to get married." "Well, she's charming." "Who's the lucky man?" " You are, Doc." " Well, I'm flat" " What?" " You're not married or anything, are you?" " Well, no, of course not." " And how do you feel about kids?" " Children?" "Well, I love" "Then it's settled!" "Settled?" "But I hardly know the girl." "Let me sweeten the pot." "Now, there must be something I can do for you... some dream that you got." "Well, now that you mention it..." "I've always wanted to take Mother to Baden-Baden." "There's a doctor there who's doing simply miraculous things with gallbladders." "Her gallbladder's on the next boat." "Anything else?" "Um, well, then there's the Thornton Poole School of Linguistics." "I can see it from here." "Deal, Doc?" "Uh, I-I don't know." "Events are moving so fast." "Here." "This is the clincher." " God." "What's this?" " Your mother's gallbladder." "The linguistics school." "All your dreams." "Look!" "I'm a little confused." "I'll be right back." "Nora!" " Where to, lady?" " Regency Gardens." "Nora!" "Nora!" "Nor" "Now Provolone's comin' out with a black bag." " What do you think's in it?" " Bag money." "What else?" "That does it." "I'm callin' for the warrant." "Damn." "Son of a-- gun, gosh almighty." "Cheese and crackers!" "So sorry to keep you waiting, Father Clemente." " Angelo, you remember Father Clemente?" " Mornin', Father." "And thanks again for the swell job you did on Papa's funeral." "I know he'd be proud that you kept your promise to him." "The Father is here to collect for the building fund." "Oh, by the way, congratulations on your daughter marrying Bruce Underwood." "Uh, I'm afraid there's been a change, Father." "She's now marrying a nice Italian boy, Anthony Rossano." "It's all for the better." "Nothing like a big, Italian wedding." " Anthony Rossano!" " Well, forget Anthony." " She's not marrying him any more." " What?" "Wh" " Well, that's a shame." "But she's young." "Someday she'll filnd the right one." " She's found the right one." " Who?" " Dr Poole!" " Dr Poole?" "Hello!" "Get back in the room!" "Looks like a nice young man." "Why is she marrying Dr Poole?" "She barely knows him." "She barely knew the chauffeur too." "Don't drag out Oscar in front of the Father!" " Who's Oscar?" " Why isn't she marrying Anthony?" "Because Anthony's marrying Theresa." " Who's Theresa?" " Who's Theresa?" " Look, it's really very simple." "But I ain't got time to explain it." "I got to call Nora." " Who's Nora?" " Our maid." " Ex-maid!" " Now you filred the maid?" " No, she quit to marry Bruce Underwood!" " When did that happen?" "I don't know!" "Somewhere between my vest and my pants." " What?" " This is all very confusing." "Well, Father... it's one of them mysteries in life you just gotta accept on faith." "I gotta run." "Father, why don't you go into the kitchen and have a cup of tea... while I clear this matter up?" "Sorry to bother you, Bruce." "Nora took the wrong bag." "Can you believe that?" "Yes." "Would you mind sending your man around and bringing the bag back?" "Yeah, it's Snaps Provolone." "Who the hell you think it is?" "What's the matter?" "You couldn't make it on the outside?" "I came to return this suitcase and collect the old." " Is this it?" " Yes." "I realized that one wasn't mine when I tried to open it." "Go on." "Beat it." "We got bankers comin', and we don't need no riffraff around here." " Sugar?" " Oh, no." "Thank you." "Who told you I was in love with you?" "Anthony." "But I thought you were in love with me." " Who told you that?" " Your father." "Oh." "And did he tell you I was pregnant?" "No, he did" " You're pregnant?" "No." "I just told him that so I could marry Oscar." " Who's Oscar?" " Our ex-chauffeur." "You see, I'd do anything to get out of this house!" " Oh, I do know how you feel." " Of course." "You've met my father." "Oh, no." "I was thinking of my mother." "She can be so possessive." "Then you know what I'm going through, Dr Poole?" "Thornton." "Y-Yes, I do." "Lisa... at the risk of being forward" "Yes, Thornton?" "Your diction is surprisingly good, considering your genealogy." "That's the sweetest thing anybody's ever said to me..." "Thornton." "That must be the chauffeur to pick up the underwear." "There it is." "I got it." " What are you doin' back here?" " What's he doin' back there?" " I see you've still got the jewels." " Yeah, sure." "Yeah, sure." "I wouldn't let these babies out of my sight." "This morning, I had everything-- the jewels, Theresa." " Now I have nothing." " Well, don't take it too hard." "I can't even call her because she never told me her real name or address." "Consider yourself lucky." "I'll make you a deal, Mr P." "What kind of deal?" "Well, I've become attached to those jewels." "They remind me of Theresa." "I'd like to buy them back from you for $50,000." "Now, where'd you come up with another 50,000 smackers?" " I stole it from you." " Connie!" "What is it, boss?" "You took my gun." "Now you're tryin' to tell me you stole another 50,000 clams... since the last time I saw you?" "Remember that dummy corporation I set up for you to hide your protection income?" "Yeah." " Remember who you made treasurer as a beard?" " You didn't." "I just wrote out a cheque to myself." "As treasurer... the bank asked me no questions." "Only a rat would steal another guy's extortion money." "Here's my offer." "You give me back the jewels... that are rightfully mine, and I'll give you back the money, which isn't." "All right." "I guess you outsmarted me." "You give me that money, and I'll give you these jewels." "It's out in the car." "I'll be right back." "And I want that document back that I signed too." "No problem." "Got it right here." "I got him." "This time I got him." "Another drop." "In broad daylight." " Give me the bag." " Let's exchange them at the same time." "Good idea." "That's it." "I'm callin' the gentlemen of the press." "I want 'em to see me make this pinch." " Everything okay, boss?" " Why don't you make some noise when you walk?" "Angelo." "Come up to your offilce." "We have to talk." "All right, all right." "Connie!" " Yeah, boss?" " Will you stop eatin' and listen up?" "Take this bag and bring it into the library." "And no matter what you do... don't take your eyes off this bag even for a second." " Get me?" " Yeah, boss." "I just called the maid service, and they're sending someone over." " You got me up here for that?" " Angelo, nobody wants to work for you." "Now, I want you to be nicer to this woman than you were to Nora." "Nora?" "She's marrying into the Underwood fortune." "I oughta get a commission." "Hey, Toomey." "This time it's a chauffeur." "He's got bagmen all over the city." " What can I do for you, General?" " Mr Underwood sent me... to return Mr Provolone's suitcase." " Thanks." " Und I'm here to collect Miss Nora's suitcase." "Oh, right." "I think he put it in the library." "Park it in here, Fritz." "Here you go." "Give my regards to the kaiser." " I promise I'll be nice to the help." " I'm going to dress for lunch." "I love talking to you, Thornton." "You're so deep-dish." "Lisa, I'll be leaving next month on the IIe de rance... for a linguistics symposium in Brussels." "Brussels?" "The one in Europe?" " Yes." " Do send me a postcard." "You can address it here, in care of my gilded cage." "I don't suppose you'd consider" "Well, I mean to say" " I-I-I can't ask." " Come on." "Spill it." "I was wondering if you would accompany me?" " Will I?" " Dr Poole!" "Get in here." "We gotta talk." "Please forgive me." "Okay, Doc, sit down." "Now, where were we?" "Oh, yeah." "I made you an offer earlier to marry my daughter." "Yes." "In exchange for a bag of women's underwear." "Nix the underwear." "It never happened." "Now, the offer still stands." "And anybody'll tell you that Snaps Provolone's word is his bond." "That's right, Doc." "Even in the old days, he was known as an honest crook." "That's an oxymoron." "Gee, Doc, you shouldn't oughta said that." "Leave Connie alone." "He does the best he can." "I'm sorry." "Okay, Doc, here's the deal." "Marry my daughter... and you can use all the dough in this bag to start your linguistics school." "Most men spend their whole lives tryin' to get their hands on what's in here." "That's right, Mr Provolone." "I've never seen so much money." "Look." "Here's money... and-and here's more money." "And" " Oh!" "Look." "Here's a lovely new twenty-dollar bill." "Dr Poole, would you be so kind as to step into the garden... while I have a conference with my associate?" "Please." "Correct me if I am wrong... but did I or did I not tell you to keep an eye... on this particular bag?" "I did." "I watched the bag of underwear the whole time." "It wasn't underwear when I left!" "It was 50 grand in cash!" "Poole was right." "You are an ox and a moron!" "How did 50 grand change into underwear?" "That's what I'm askin' you!" "Maybe it was a miracle, you know, like the loaves and the filshes?" "Lisa, come with me." " Let's get out of this madhouse." " Whatever you say, baby." ""Baby"!" "Snaps, are you sure there was cash in that bag?" "Yeah." "Little Anthony stole it." "If little Anthony stole it, then he's got it." "No, you blockhead." "He stole it, then he gave it back to me." " Why'd he give it back to you?" " To buy back the jewels." " What jewels?" " The jewels he stole from me." " He stole jewels from you too?" " Yeah, so he could marry my daughter." " Lisa." " Not Lisa." "Theresa." "How come nobody's never met this daughter Theresa?" "Because she's not my daughter, capisce?" "Yeah, your daughter's not your daughter." "And the cash that used to be the jewels is now your underwear." " Now you got it!" " I got it!" "I don't even know what I'm talkin' about!" "I'm back." "Take a seat." "The nurse'll call your number." " The skirt is back." " What skirt?" "Nora?" " No." "The other one" " Theresa." " You remember, boss." "The one that's not your daughter." " Keep her on ice." "I'm lookin' for somethin'." " What?" " A bag just like this one." " Ah, don't worry about that." "I gave it back to Underwood's chauffeur." " You did what?" " It was sittin' here in the library before... so I switched the bags for ya." " And where was Einstein?" " Was Connie in here?" "Connie, was you in here?" "I didn't see him." "Why don't you go stand over there next to your girlfriend?" "Mush!" "Underwear." "Underwear?" "Und-- "Underwood." Underwood." "Underwood." "Mr Provolone will see you in the library." " Connie?" " Come on." "And now he's back again for another drop." "And you knuckleheads thought that Snaps was goin' straight." "Oh, that's okay." "I'll get it!" "Well, well." "The man who started it all." "Look, Underwood, your chauffeur snatched the wrong bag!" "Well, do something about it, and pronto!" " Now, what can I do for you?" " Can we talk in private?" " Connie, am-scray." " Can't I stick around, boss?" " Every time I leave, I fall behind." " All right." "Stay, but shut up." "Mr Provolone, I'm desperate." "I've done a stupid thing." " Yeah, I know." "You already told me." " No." "I mean, I-I walked out on Anthony, the only man I've ever loved." "Honey, that's the filrst smart move you've made." "I looked for him everywhere." "I tried his apartment, and he wasn't there." " Do you know where I can fiind him?" " No." "But wherever he is... he's probably stealing another 50 Gs from me." "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have another appointment." " I may have an idea where he is." " Where?" "Closer than I thought." "Now, I want you to stay in here and don't come out." " You owe me this, sister." " I thought she was your daughter." "Shut up." "Well, little Anthony." "Thought you could pull a fast one on me, huh?" "You must've forgotten, Mr Provolone." "I gave you the cash in exchange for those jewels." "Yeah?" "But you were supposed to get the underwear." " What underwear?" " I know!" "The maid's underwear." "Connie, please." "Bingo." "And I'm not givin' you another bag in return." "I'm onto that racket." "I don't know what you're talking about, but you can have the jewels." "Do you believe the cojones on this guy?" "He's just giving me back my own dough." "Here, Connie." "Watch this." "Look who I'm talkin' to." "So, you're just givin' me back my own rocks, huh?" "Yes." "I've realized that all the jewels in the world are worthless to me now-- now that I've lost Theresa." " This guy's a poet." " And if you ever hear from her again... please tell her that I still love her and that I'm sorry I hurt her." " Theresa's in the library." " She's here?" "That's right." "And she's crazy about you." "Anthony, I am so sorry." "No, no, no." "This whole thing was my fault." "I'll get it." "Maybe that's the Underwood chauffeur with my dough." "He'll get it." "Hello." "I was sent by the employment agency." "I don't mean to seem discourteous, but I got another appointment comin' up." "Sit down, honey." "I'll try not to keep you, Mr Provolone." "Here's my references." "I do light housekeeping, some cooking" "You don't by any chance answer front doors, do ya?" "Well, all this looks pretty good, Roxanne." " So how long you been a maid?" " My filrst job was for a man named James Bonomo." "Jumpin'Jimmy Bonomo?" "Hey, Aldo, she worked for Jumpin'Jimmy." "You remember him-- nervous little guy?" "Sure, sure." "I remember him." "Bighearted sweet guy." "Give you the shirt off his back." "When did he die?" "Let's see." "Uh, got the chair in '2 7." "I don't believe this." "I was a driver for Jumpin'Jimmy." "That was my filrst job in the rackets" " I mean, industry." "That's right, Snaps." "No." " Roxy?" " Then you remember me?" "Remember you?" "How could I forget?" "You were my filrst" "I mean, we were-- How do you like that?" "What a small world!" "Geez, I had a real thing for her." "But" "You just disappeared on me." "How come?" "Well, I-I didn't think I was working in the best atmosphere to raise my baby." " You had a baby?" " She's a big girl now." "In fact, she'll be getting married soon." "Ah." "I'm so happy for you, Roxanne." "Say, who's the lucky guy?" "Oh, he's a very successful accountant." "He makes 1 ,400 a month." "Wow, that's a lot of dough." "Wait a minute." "Say, his name wouldn't happen to be little Anthony Rossano, would it?" " You know him?" " Know him?" "Sometimes I think I don't know anybody else but him!" "Wait." "Then you gotta be Theresa's mother." " You know Theresa too?" " Well, I should." "After all, she's my daughter." " Then you've known all along." " Known what?" "That you and I-- that we" "Don't you get it, boss?" "She had your kid." "Theresa really is your daughter." " I'm gettin' good at this." " No, no, it can't be." " You seem surprised." " Well, nothin' this mornin' would surprise me except this." "But you said you knew that she was your daughter." "I knew she said she was my daughter, but I didn't think I was her father." "I should've told you... but I lost touch when I was sent to the convent." "Come on." "Come on." "It's okay." "It's okay." "This day has been an emotional roller coaster." "My father sent me to the nuns to have Theresa." "He said I brought shame to the family." "What a blockhead he must've been." "I didn't wanna come on this interview because..." "I was afraid that you'd be angry." "Oh, no, Roxy." "I'm not angry." "Just don't cry, please?" " Angelo!" "Who is this woman?" " The new maid." "You don't have to be that friendly with the help." "Why is she crying?" "She's just happy to be working for us." "That'll change." "Come on." "There's somebody I want you to meet." " Who's here?" " Our daughter." "Theresa's here?" "But why?" " It all started around 8:30." " Will ya shut up?" " Aldo, get Theresa." " Theresa!" "Do you see what I gotta put up with around here?" "Mama?" " What are you doing here?" " I came to see your father." " Father?" " It's time you knew the truth." "You're the daughter of Snaps Provolone." "Mr Provolone?" "Oh, Mama!" " Then I really can call you "Dad."" " You do, I'll mop the floor with you." "Listen, everybody!" "We have an announcement to make!" " What is it, Lisa?" " Thornton and I are getting married." "Aldo, get out a couple bottles of champagne." "We're gonna celebrate!" " My baby!" " My girls!" "Congratulations, Doc." "Will there be a honeymoon following?" "Watch it there, Connie." "You've got a dangling participle." "Huh?" "Oh." "Let's just get this over with." "I have to get back to the offilce and turn down a loan." "Are you sure about this one, Lieutenant?" "Hey, Toomey, you better get over here." "Here come the big boys." "It's the O'Banion gang, all right." "Well, obviously they're expecting us." "This turned out to be a wonderful day after all." " Both my girls are getting married." " What do you mean, "both"?" "Sofila, my wife, meet Theresa, my daughter." "Your daughter?" " I just found out myself." " Me too." " If she's your daughter, who's her mother?" " I am." " You had a child with the new maid?" " Pardon me." " Have we come at a bad time?" " No, gentlemen." "Come in." "Here's the bubbly, boss." "Aldo, I'm shocked!" "You know liquor's against the law!" " Didn't you ever hear of Prohibition?" " Heard of it?" "What do you think paid for this house?" "Ix-nay the ooze-bay." "Ankers-bay." "Oh, we just keep this in the house for yacht christenings." "It's so diffilcult to filnd good help these days." "Now, if you don't mind, I got some business to conduct with these gentlemen." " Yeah?" " I have a collect call from Mr ive Spot charlie." " will you accept the nickel charge?" " Yeah." "Put him on." " Hello." "M-M-Mr" " Mr Vend-d-detti?" " What do you got for me, Five Spot?" "Well, it-it-it-it's happening, Mr Ve-Vendetti... just like we thought." "Four t-t-t-tough customers... just went into S-S-S-S-S-S-S-Snap's place." "Thanks, Five Spot." "There's a C note in it for you." "A-A-A-A C note?" "Gee, th-th-thanks." " Thanks, Mr" " That cinches it." "He's hookin' up with O'Banion." "Okay, we're movin' on Provolone, we're movin' now!" "A C note." "Order out for pizza." "We'll be back in an hour." "Wait till you see your offilce downtown." "Mmm." "You'll have a secretary, a telephone, beautiful view of the harbour." "And a key to the executive lounge." " But not a vote on the board." " What?" "Let me see that." "Well, we thought... you might serve in more of an advisory capacity." "Just until you learn the ropes, that is." "As sort of a silent partner." "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think... for the dough that I am putting in, I deserve a vote." "And with all due respect, gentlemen, may I call attention to addendum B?" "Oh, that?" "That simply absolves the bank of any liability." "Yes." "Should Mr Provolone" " Should Mr Provolone what?" " Incur any legal diffilculties." "Let's not beat around the bush." "We all know what kind of background he comes from." "Anthony, it sounds like they don't trust me." " Not according to this." " No." "Mr Provolone... these clauses are as much for your protection as ours." "Now, if you just sign this, please" "All right!" "Grab some sky, hoods, and hold it!" "Drill the filrst rat that makes a move." "Lieutenant, what a pleasant surprise." "I'll bet." "I was just sayin' to Sofila this morning that... we gotta have the Toomeys over for tea." "You don't really think we're in business with these people, do you, Offilcer?" "We're only here because he threatened us." "That's right." "He threatened to put the arm on us." "Save your breath, Fingers." "Fingers Frischetti, O'Banion's trigger man." " It's a privilege to watch your mind work, Toomey." " Thank you." "And this, gentlemen, is the infamous Sid "The Shiv" Saperstein." "I beg your pardon." "Hey, Sid, say "cheese."" "You'd better take a look at these, Lieutenant." "University Club." "Harvard Alumni Club." "Republican National Committee?" "Wait a minute." "The City Commerce Board of Directors." "City Trade Association Board of Directors." "The State Financial Advisory Board." "Committee to Reelect Herbert Hoover." "Eastside Athletic Club." "And two tickets to the Policemen's Ball." "Either you guys are legit, or this is the greatest job of forgery I ever seen." "I hope you're satisfiled, Offilcer." "Gee, Toomey, he had me convinced he was Fingers Frischetti." "It don't add up." "Why would Snaps Provolone be meetin' with four bankers?" " Maybe I was slumming'." " Clam it, Snaps." "I got it!" "The bag!" "Fan out, boys." "Find that little black bag... the one that's been comin' in and out of this house all day." "What's the matter, Snaps?" "Nervous?" "Lieutenant, we found it." "Just as I filgured." "It seems that our friend Snaps here has been laundering Mob money... through their bank, and here's your proof." "Get your cameras ready, boys." "Boys, this is gonna make me look good downtown." "Get out of my way!" "Well, boys, he got the "laundry" part right." "I hate to say, "I told you so," but that's what we get... for going into business with a crook!" "I'm a crook?" "You come into my house with your filne print and addendums... and try to con me out of my dough?" "Geez, I'm used to dealing with mobsters, bootleggers and gonzos... but you bankers are scary." " I have never been so insulted in all my life." " Wait." "You're young yet." "It all came out in the wash, didn't it, Toomey?" "Yeah." "I didn't know you collected ladies' underwear." "Don't worry, Toomey." "Maybe they'll give you a job as a bank guard." "Yeah, yeah." "Shove off, you bums." "We hit 'em fast and hard, and nobody gets out alive." "Step on it, Dugan." "You all right, Lieutenant?" "All right." "All right." "Out of the way." "Well, well." "Mr Vendetti." "Hiya, Toomey." "All right, boys." "Take 'em in." " Anthony, I like the way you handled yourself in here today." " Thank you, sir." "And I'm making you chief filnancial offilcer of Provolone Enterprises, Inc." "Sir" " Dad-- what an honour!" "So we back in business, Mr Provolone?" "You can forget that "Mr Provolone" stuff." "From now on, call me "boss."" "Yes, boss!" "Sorry, Pop." "I did the best I could." "Do you, Lisa and Theresa... take Thornton and Anthony... to be your lawfully-wedded husbands?" "I do." "I do." "If anyone among you has reasons to doubt that these unions should take place... let him speak now or forever hold his peace." "Stop!" " Who are you?" " I'm Oscar." " Get rid of him, expeditiously." " You got it." " No, wait!" " Grab his feet." "Then I now pronounce you man and wife." "You may kiss the brides."