"(scissor sisters' "whole new way" playing)" "♪ I gave passes to the boarder ♪" "I'm not a morning person." "I beg to differ." "(chuckles)" "♪..." "Guiding light ♪" "♪ "I see smoke upon the water" ♪" "♪ said the sailor to the daughter ♪" "I shouldn't be this happy." "Why?" "Well, what y w wrote about violet" "Was accurate" "And right w,w, beside the point." "I can think of better things to do than talk about her," "But if you can't-- oh, no, no." "Let's-- let's start over." "Goodororning." "It's about to be." "♪ my sneak f from behind is gon b blow urur mind ♪" "♪ututf f not, th t time we're through ♪" "Hey, you on ca t tayay" "Yeah." "I gopapaged onn n incoming arrhythmia." "Hohow's addison doinay" "Wewe, e's s finei I guess." "In sealele hohow's addisodeliriri a baby.Y." "Is erythining ok?" "Ndndistit conversations)" "She, uh, she wants her own baby." "And I'm not t ady, bubu uh... (man) 76-year-old female, acute shortness of..." "Adam, what are you doing here?" "She's gotten worse." "Didn't know what else to do." "Bradycardic at 40 with a pressure of 90." "Please, pete." "(sam) respiratory rate?" "24 and labored." "Put her in bay one." "Is that" "My mother." "Well, under the circumstances, your anger is justifiable." "Under the circumstances, homicide is justifiable." "Oh, if I have to hear "she's my b.F.F." one more time..." "Wait." "I'm sorry." "Do" "Have you ever done one of those city college lecture things?" "Because you look really familiar." "No." "No, that wasn't me." "So let's-- let's, uh, let's stay on point here." "I" " I think the important thing" "Is to understand why your daughters made this decision" "And to figure out how we can move forward." "I've racked my brain, and I just don't know." "Lisa and I have always been so close." "What did I do wrong?" "Well, this isn't necessarily about you." "I'm a single mother with three kids, dr." "Wallace." "When something goes wrong, it's always about me." "(violet) maybe the girls were trying to redefine their lives" "In a way that is more meaningful to them." "Maybe compensating for low self-esteem or looking for" "What they perceive as unconditional love." "Oh, give me a break." "What does casey have to be upset about?" "And that's what we need to explore." "Which is also why we need to speak to your daughters." "(girl) we're not pathetic, knocked-up teenagers." "We made a choice." "It's a pact." "(sheldon) explain that to us." "Why did you decide to get pregnant..." "Together?" "Why should I worry" "About good grades and getting into college" "When all I want is to be a mom anyway?" "Plus, instant status." "Babies love you no matter what." "That's awesome." "Are you not feeling loved at home now, lisa?" "Well, yeah." "My mom's a trooper." "It's just..." "There's a lot going on around the house," "So she can't give each one of us attention, you know?" "I felt loved" "Until my mother tried to make me have an abortion." "(sheldon) what you might think is a lack of love" "Could be your mother trying to protect you." "She's trying to protect herself." "She doesn't care about me." "That's why we need each other." "She has a.V. Dissociation." "Pete, is she-- atropine." ".6." "I can't breathe." "She's in third-degree heart block." "What does that mean?" "I need to float a temporary pacemaker, stabilize her rhythm." "What the hell is going on?" "If you want to stay, you're gonna have to stop talking." "I can handle this." "Where's the damn catheter?" "All right, heart rate's dropping." "Pete, please, look at me." "Do something." "Get out!" "If you want her to live, get the hell out!" "(monitor beeping erratically)" "Captioned by closed captioning services, inc." "So the belarus competition," "I won-- first american ever." "What?" "That's amazing." "What did you play?" "Rachmaninoff's third." "Really?" "That's like the hardest concerto there is." "Not like, it is the hardest." "The technical aspects are impossible" "For most musicians to master." "Child or adult." "You must be very proud of your grandson." "No one plays it as well as patrick." "Every bit of his hard work and discipline shows." "Is the numbness constant or does it come and go?" "It comes and goes." "Grab my fingers and squeeze..." "Hard as you can." "Okay." "Now hands out, palms up." "Close your eyes." "Is something wrong?" "Well, I think it would be worth getting an m.R.I.," "And our neurosurgeon should take a look." "Do you know how many conversations we've had" "About protection?" "I bought her condoms." "I put her on birth control pills." "I suppose I should've just taped her damn legs shut," "But I didn't-- like that would've worked." "(violet) o - okay, okay, let's calm down." "Easy for you to say." "You're not the one who's going to be" "Contending with three kids and a grandchild." "We're the ones who will sacrifice." "Jamie, what are you thinking?" "She's probably glad her mom's not here to yell at her." "My mom said she had to pick up my brother" "And drop him off at home." "She said she'd be back. (lisa) can I just say something?" "We've been here all morning." "If we're here all afternoon," "We're gonna miss a lot more than school." "I don't care if we're here all day every day" "For the rest of the year." "We have to sort this out." "You wrote this book." "I knew I recognized you." "I bought this last week and I'm halfway through it," "But..." "She's not the right therapist for our daughters." "You guys, she has this totally nasty scar down her stomach." "Can we try to focus?" "Ah, no laying out for you, eh?" "There are things in this book that I promise you" "You will not like." "Like what?" "I don't want to embarrass her, but-- this is not the place for this discussion." "Could we see the scar?" "Jamie, let's go." "We're done with this." "Patrick's parents died in a car accident when he was 5," "And dennis has raised him on his own ever since." "He was apparently a renowned conductor until his son died." "Then he took patrick in, taught him the piano," "And now this kid's a prodigy." "Mm." "Classical music puts me to sleep." "Are you really that uncultured?" "This coming from the guy who rushes home" "To watch outtakes of "american bake-off"?" "(laughs) okay." "(sighs) damn it." "What?" "What is it?" "It's called a pilocytic astrocytoma." "It's in the part of the brain that controls hand function." "Am I gonna die?" "You'll have to have surgery." "You'll have to cut into his brain?" "It's the best course of action." "The safest and simplest route" "Would be right through the center of the motor strip." "But if we go through that area, the likelihood" "Is that we would destroy all function in his right hand." "I..." "I won't be able to play music anymore?" "No." "Are there any other options?" "I can do an awake craniotomy." "Awake?" "During brain surgery?" "Because you'd be conscious and able to talk to me," "I could monitor your hand function much more closely" "And try to avoid damaging any of the corresponding nerves." "Would it hurt?" "There are no pain sensors on the brain." "Your scalp would be numb, so you would hear the drill," "You would feel pressure from the vibration," "But it wouldn't hurt, however, because I would be" "Taking a longer and more indirect route," "There is a possibility of inflicting more damage." "What kind of damage?" "Patrick might end up" "With some degree of paralysis in his right leg." "But..." "But I'll still be able to play." "Uh, I don't know if this is the right" "Please, grandpa." "Let her do it." "I don't need legs, but I need the piano." "What do you think?" "The pacemaker will buy us time." "I can't figure out why her rhythms deteriorated." "How is she?" "Uh, she's stable for now." "What is she doing out of jail?" "Well, after you wouldn't sign her compassionate release," "Mom's health got worse." "She developed congestive heart failure." "And the prison doctors, they couldn't handle it," "So..." "Last week, they, uh, they let her out." "Anyway, this morning, she, uh," "She was having a hard time catching her breath," "So I called 9-1-1." "All right, did anything bring this on?" "Has she been smoking?" "Just a few a day." "How about drugs?" "Anything new?" "Answer the question." "Look, I tried finding another doctor to sign that release." "But you were right, pete." "Her heart symptoms, they weren't bad enough." "She just wasn't sick enough." "So she told you to make her sick enough." "She said she didn't care how, that she'd do anything." "So I did some research, and I, uh..." "I bribed a guard who, uh, slipped her these pills." "(scoffs) all right, what-- what kind of pills?" "What were you thinking?" "She begged me." "I had to get her out." "What kind of pills?" "Digoxin." "What is it?" "What's the matter?" "Don't you understand?" "You poisoned her." "(sam) I need 250 milligrams of digiverse." "Now." "Violet, I think it might be better" "If you step aside on this one." "Sheldon, some people who read my book will be patients." "I anticipated that." "I can work with that." "It doesn't take away from the fact" "That I can help these girls." "I think it does." "As therapists, we have to be blank slates, sounding boards." "There's a reason we're judicious" "About sharing our personal lives with patients." "It distracts them." "They waste time focusing on us" "Instead of dedicating their energy on their own problems." "You know that that session was tainted." "There was no taint there." "There-- there was titillation, and that will fade." "Those girls don't want to be here," "Which means getting through to them is an uphill battle." "And their mothers-- I just..." "There's a lot of work that needs to be done" "In repairing those relationships." "Which I can do, because last time I checked," "Only one of us is actually a mother" "Or a former 16-year-old girl." "With all due respect," "Having a vagina does not give you a degree in psychiatry," "And whether you might believe it or not," "Your book is a problem." "I can handle it, sheldon." "(machine clicking, monitor beeping rhythmically)" "You know, you might find this hard to believe," "But I was trying to help her." "She almost died." "I told him to do it." "I had no choice because you wouldn't help me." "You are not my responsibility." "Yes, she is." "Parents take care of their children," "Then children step up for their parents." "I mean, isn't that what you're gonna do teach lucas?" "You leave my son out of this." "Boys, please." "She did not take care of us." "I was the one who made sure we had something to eat every day." "I was the one who put us to bed" "On the nights when she was drinking, which was every night." "Don't talk about me that way." "I'm still your mother." "Yeah, you were there at the birth," "I'll give you that, but that's it." "How did you get to be so cold, pete?" "You made me that way." "(footsteps approach)" "You look like the cat who got the cream." "I am most definitely that cat." "Who's the lucky girl?" "(exhales deeply)" "Marla thompkins." "The reviewer who trashed violet's book?" "You're kidding." "How'd that happen?" "Oh, I met her at violet's book party," "And then she called." "I knew I should've said no after what she did to violet" "Only matters what she's doing to you, and from the looks of it," "She is doing it well." "(whispers) I say go for it." "Go for what?" "(normal voice) marla thompkins." "Seriously?" "Was I speaking in tongues?" "You'd really do that to violet?" "Yes, I'm late for something." "Who put a bug up your ass?" "That'd be me." "I gave his patient an opinion he didn't like." "My patient is a piano virtuoso." "He also has a brain tumor." "The safest way to remove the tumor" "May mean that he never plays the piano again." "If I take a more radical approach," "I'll compromise his leg but I'll spare his hand." "He could have a stroke." "You could knock out his hearing or his vision." "This is the surgery that patrick wants." "He's 14 years old." "He's nowhere near old enough" "To understand the implications of a decision this big." "What's the right age to choose between an arm and a leg?" "Look, some things you just know." "I knew at age 6 I was gonna be a surgeon." "And when I was a little kid, I was obsessed with the piano" "And thought maybe I wanted to be a musician." "I never knew you played." "'cause my interests changed." "What was important to me then is not important to me now." "And maybe someday, patrick's gonna want" "To walk down the aisle or chase after his kids." "Look, this kid has a gift." "Who are we to take it away from him?" "(indistinct conversations)" "Believe it or not, my day got worse." "Yes, actually, I'm meeting someone-- so pete is all freaked out" "Because they brought his mother into the e.R.," "And she's supposed to be in prison, but his brother" "His brother, adam-- got her out." "But not in any normal way." "No, no, not through a parole hearing" "Or time off for good behavior." "No, he poisons her." "(laughs) (laughs) he poisons her." "Now granted that is a course of action I've been considering" "With my own mother for a number of years now, but I've managed" "To keep that particular genie in the bottle." "So frances' heart is now damaged," "And adam is blaming pete, and pete is blaming adam-- sorry I'm late." "(sheldon) oh." "We didn't the chance to meet the other night" "At your party." "Marla thompkins." "Yeah, I" " I-I know who you are." "Are you two dating?" "Well, you know..." "Labels can be so confining." "We're dating." "Patrick and I have discussed it." "We will go with the safer surgery." "Well, that's a good call." "We didn't discuss it." "Grandpa just told me what he wanted." "What?" "It's the truth." "You are a child." "It's my brain." "Patrick, we can't go ahead with a craniotomy" "Without your grandfather's consent." "But if patrick does not want the other surgery," "We can't force him to do that, either." "I don't understand." "If it becomes a matter for the courts," "They'll probably go with what you decide," "But that could take weeks." "We don't have weeks." "We need to do the surgery immediately." "Or patrick will die." "We'll do the safer surgery." "But that's not what I want." "The decision's been made." "No, it's not." "Either you let me do the awake craniotomy," "Or you let me die." "(playing classical music)" "Hey, patrick." "Hey." "You never get nervous when you're onstage?" "Once I start playing, I'm just in it." "I guess that's a good thing when you're performing." "But, you know, that focus on what's right in front of you," "It can keep you from seeing everything else." "This surgery that you want," "You could spend the rest of your life in a wheelchair." "I don't care." "You don't care now, but I don't think" "You really understand the decision you're making." "There's only a handful of people in the world" "Who can do what I do." "When I play, every part of me" "My hands, my brain, my soul" "It all engages in this perfect synchronicity." "It's almost like I'm watching myself" "Rather than actually doing it." "I can't really describe it, but" "Being a musician, that feeling," "I know it's the most important thing to you now," "But you're just a kid." "You can't close yourself off to the idea that other things" "Could become equally if not more important." "I think if you talk to your grandfather about this..." "He loves you, patrick." "He loves the way I play." "I don't think music" "Is as important to him as your relationship." "Music is my relationship with my grandfather." "All these people showed up at the house" "The night my parents were killed." "I didn't know what they were doing there," "But everyone kept asking me" "If I wanted ice cream or pizza or a movie." "I ouought it was a party." "Then I saw my grandfather, and he looked so sad." "I tried to hug him," "And he didn't know what to do." "He never really looked at me after that" "Until he taught me to play piano." "That's how we started to speak to each other." "You can learn other ways to communicate." "He can't." "(playing classical music)" "(machine clicking)" "(woman speaking indistinctly over p.A.)" "Frances." "I'm" " I'm violet turner." "I'm pete's wife." "Who'd have thought" "Pete's a doctor married to a doctor?" "And a pretty one, too." "And your boy lucas, is he as smart as the two of you?" "Smarter. (laughs) he has pete's smile." "Well, I never saw much of that smile." "Pete never talks about his father." "Well, that's because he never knew him." "You two weren't together that long?" "Long enough to have a baby..." "A few laughs." "Well... (clears throat) do you need anything?" "Can I get you anything?" "Can you get pete to talk to me?" "Well, I think that's up to pete." "I'm probably asking for too much." "I mean, he's been here." "He's just cold." "I can't erase what I did." "I'll be judged for that." "But I want pete to forgive me." "I need that before I..." "You don't owe me one damn thing." "But please, can you help me?" "Why didn't you tell me you played piano?" "It didn't seem important." "Sounds like you used to love it." "I used to love to eat paste, too." "Why'd you give it up?" "The piano or the paste?" "Were you just not any good?" "Actually, I was quite good." "My dad taught me." "You know, my mom, she's not at all musical." "The woman can't even whistle." "So it was something special" "That me and my dad shared, just the two of us." "Then why'd you quit?" "Uh..." "I told you about my brother." "The one who died before you were born-- andy." "So when I was, like, 15," "I found a picture tucked into some sheet music," "Um, of andy." "And he couldn't have been more than 4 or 5," "And he was sitting on my dad's lap," "And my dad was holding his hands on the keys." "And so your dad taught andy to play, too." "Doesn't mean it wasn't special." "Every time I practiced, I wondered if my dad" "Was in the other room" "Pretending it was andy playing..." "So I quit." "Sorry, coop." "Don't be." "It was a long time ago." "You wanted to know, and I told you." "(trash crinkles)" "(indistinct conversations)" "You know, um..." "Every Sunday when I was growing u" "My parents would take me to this chinese restaurant," "And, um..." "I j" " I hateitit." "It was all the way across town," "And we would drive in silence to get to this meal" "Where nobody basically said a word." "So, um, the last time I was home," "My parents wanted to go to that restaurant," "And I thought, you know, I'm a grown-up." "I mean, how bad can ite?" "E?" "(laughs)" "Well, two bites into this egg roll," "I was complaining about work," "And my mother cut me off with a smile, and she said," ""why didn't you become a lawyer like your cousin trudy?"" "And the way she said it," "Pete, I swear, I..." "I couldn't even finish eating." "I just walked out the door." "I thought trudy was a teacher." "She is." "She practiced law for two years, and then she quit," "Which is a fact my mother is well-aware of." "(chuckles) okay, I get it violet." "Nobody pushes our buttons like family." "(mouth full) and when they do," "It evaporates every ounce m maturity we have," "And we are left to be stubborn, angry 12 year olds." "Are you telling me to grow up?" "(laughs) no." "(normal voice) I'm..." "Saying" "That you could heal your 12 year old" "By forgiving frances" "For all the terrible things that she did." "She knows she failed you." "She doesn't know anything of the kind." "I talked to her, pete." "Why would you do that?" "Because you're my husband." "Because knowing even just a little bit about her" "And your past helps me to understand you better." "I know that this is hard-- if you want to make peace with some parents," "Why don't you start with your own?" "I've never seen you make so much as a phone call." "Yes, yes, I-- it's true." "I am asking you to do some work that" "I have not yet been able to do on my own, but just because" "That seems unfair doesn't mean that I am wrong." "If you are able to forgive frances," "She won't be able to control you anymore." "She is who she is, you are who you are," "And the only thing that's important" "Is how you move forward." "But that's up to you." "(sighs)" "(knocks on doorjamb) I talked to patrick." "And?" "He wants the awake craniotomy because he thinks" "His grandfather won't love him anymore" "If he can't play the piano." "The grandfather told him to get the safer surgery." "A smart kid can always feel the truth behind the words," "And now he is making a life-or-death decision" "Based on fear that-- lots of people do." "This is just wrong." "Cooper, dennis has raised this kid by himself" "For, what, like ten years?" "Yeah, I know, but" "Their relationship can't be that tenuous." "Look, I know seeing me with maria was a shock," "And I know you two got off on the wrong foot," "But if you give her a chance, I think you'll see" "That she's really kind of an amazing person, you-- she's a bitch." "Okay, look, she didn't like your book." "She savaged me, sheldon." "Does the entire world need to be in love with you?" "Are you really that insecure?" "You know, sheldon, my plate" "Is kind of full right now with pete and his mother" "And teenagers ruining their lives." "I don't have time for this crap." "Hello." "Sorry we're late." "Okay, well, um, this is the nursery, obviously." "So after your babies are born, they'll be brought here" "To get cleaned up and get some tests done." "Unless they're, you know, cut out of you." "We've all read it." "And after about an hour," "They'll be brought to your room so that you can nurse." "Did it hurt when the crazy lady cut it out of you?" "Okay, again, this is not about dr." "Turner." "This is about you and how your lives are gonna change." "Okay, that is not fair." "She's telling us we're total screwups, but in reality-- no one is saying that." "Hello." "Were you completely tuned out yesterday?" "She smushed with, like, two guys and didn't even use protection." "She doesn't even know who the dad is." "She is right here." "Whatever." "You didn't even want your kid." "At least we want our babies." "Oh, getting pregnant for status or to get love," "That is selfish and immature." "Violet, that's enough." "No, no, sheldon." "I want to help these girls," "But I'm not gonna stand he and be abused." "Okay, please, just leave." "Oh!" "Ohh!" "Ah!" "Ah!" "What's going on?" "It feels like something's tearing inside me." "Aah!" "We need a gurney here!" "Lisa, call casey's mom." "No, no, I don't need her." "Just lisa." "Ah!" "What's happening?" "Okay, okay, you are bleeding inside," "Your baby is in danger, and it needs to come out right now." "Ah!" "Ah!" "(monitor beeping rhythmically)" "Oh, my god." "That's disgusting." "The delivery isn't the hard part." "The pain is fleeting." "It's the responsibility that's forever. (baby cries)" "This isn't what I expected." "I mean, just look at casey." "This is too much." "It's gonna be okay." "It's gonna be okay." "I'm here for you, and we'll-- we'll keep working." "No." "I can't do this." "(baby crying)" "(monitor beeping rhythmically)" "(people speaking indistinctly)" "(knocks on window)" "Is that lucas?" "I used to think it was my fault." "If I was a better kid, that you wouldn't drink." "If I was a good son, that maybe one of the guys you brought home" "Would hang around for more than a coup o of days." "But..." "But then I had lucas, and... (chuckles)" "The love I feel for him, it just..." "Changed everything." "How could you not feel that for adam and me?" "I" " I was drunk most of the time." "Then there were drugs." "You know, after a while," "The person you are..." "Is just gone." "Pete, I'm so sorry." "I don't know what to do to make it up to you." "Maybe I can't." "But I love you." "Is it too late to start over?" "Lucas, this is frances." "She's your grandmother." "Hi." "You are a big boy." "'ight." "He looks like you." "Hello." "Mm" "Yeah." "(knock on door)" "Pete, got a second?" "So I looked at the echo," "And the damage to her heart is pretty extensive." "There's nothing we can do, pete." "I'm sorry." "Mama?" "How long?" "Well, she's in borderline cardiogenic shock." "She's not responding-- sam, how long?" "Not long." "You wanted to see me?" "I'd like to talk to you about patrick." "I assumed." "He needs to have surgery." "Either surgery, but he needs to have one." "So you two need to make a decision," "Because his tumor is gonna keep growing and..." "Do you love him?" "You have to love him." "Just because I don't say it doesn't mean I don't feel it" "Or that patrick doesn't know it." "He doesn't know it." "I mean, can't you see that?" "He is terrified" "That his only connection to you is through music." "He is willing to paralyze himself" "Because he is afraid that without piano," "You won't connect anymore." "You have to tell him that you love him." "You have to say the words," "Because if you don't and we are not able to do something," "He is gonna die." "Don't you dare lecture me about death." "Someday you will reach a point" "Where more of the people you love are dead than alive," "And that, dr." "Shepherd, is terrifying." "To lose your wife..." "(sighs) to a stroke" "And then your son in a car accident" "I understand death." "What I don't understand is why every feeling" "Has to bcocommunicated." "If the love is there, you know." "When I was a kid, my dad was shot in front of me," "And what helped me keep going was my mother." "Every night before bed," "She said, "good night." "I love you." "I will see you tomorrow," and there was no confusion." "There was no doubt that she loved me" "Enough for both of them." "And that even in his absence, she would be there, always." "Please just talk to him." "If patrick wants the surgery, do it." "I thought..." "Why aren't you dressed?" "I'm not going in today." "You gonna see your mother?" "Maybe." "I don't know." "You don't want to do this." "Spare me the missed opportunity speech." "That ship sailed a long time ago." "W- what, so you're gonna walk away now?" "Look, I didn't get the mother I wanted." "I didn't get the mother I deserved," "And it made me so angry..." "I wanted her to die." "I wished for it." "But yesterday, for a few minutes," "It was like..." "Her death would've been easier before," "But now it's... (sighs)" "Now it's gonna hurt" "Because you had a glimpse" "Of what could've been between the two of you" "If things were different." "(sighs dplply)" "(inhales and exhales deeply)" "I'm sorry, pete." "It's gonna hurt." "I mean, there's just no way around it." "You just gotta get through it." "(sighs)" "But maybe this pain is good..." "Because it means that somewhere inside of you" "You still want to connect with frances," "And now she wants that, too." "I mean, has it come decades too late?" "Yeah... (laughs) but..." "But maybe those patients that you comforted" "While they died," "Maybe they were just practice for helping your mother..." "Right here, right now." "You think he's coming?" "I don't know, cooper." "But he might." "Hey." "You ready?" "My grandfather's not gonna show, dr." "Freedman." "I told you, he's only interested in me if I can play." "You know what?" "Why don't I gown up?" "You don't have to go in there alone." "I won't be." "I've got dr." "Shepherd." "Okay." "I'm sorry I was so harsh on you at the hospital," "But the book, c changes things, you know?" "It just does." "I didn't need you to bail me out back there." "Yes, you did." "Look..." "I don't want this to be adversarial betw" "You should've thought of that before you starting smushing" "That venomous-- don't make this about maria." "You know what?" "Let's keep this professional." "Fine." "My professional opinion is that" "You're not in a position to help those girls right now." "But I am the same therapist as I've always been." "I'm probably better, in fact, but..." "What am I supposed to do?" "You had something to say and you said it." "It's healthy for you." "It's gonna help a lot of people." "But there's a price to be paid for that," "And that's where you are right now." "And I'm sorry, but that's just the reality." "(classical piano music playing)" "(amelia) I need to stimulate a few more areas in your brain" "So I know where it's safe to cut." "Just keep playing,kakay, patrick?" "Any requests?" "I think the guy with his brain exposed" "Gets to choose." "(hits discordant note) wh-what's happening?" "It's okay." "Now I know that's an area I can't go near." "All right, patrick." "I'm gonna cut now." "You ready?" "(stops playing)" "Patrick, you all right?" "I wish dr." "Freedman had been right." "I wish my grandfather would've come." "Let's get started." "♪" "Where is he?" "Where's patrick?" "Uh, he's already in surgery." "(indistinct conversations)" "I never should've rereed to this surgery." "I thought if I gave him what he wanted," "W how I felt." "If anything happens, and I missed my chance..." "Mm." "Maybe it's not too late." "(playing classical music)" "(stops playing)" "(door closes)" "I love you." "(trent dabbs' "this time tomorrow" playing)" "(monitor beeping erratically)" "What's happening?" "Dr. Shepherd, I can't feel my hand." "Dr. Shepherd?" "I've got some bleeding in the brain." "Well, do something!" "I can't lose him." "I need some suction here." "♪ and you'll find ♪" "♪ this ti t tomorrow ♪" "♪ will decide ♪" "♪ where it will all go ♪" "♪ in this life ♪" "I did this." "Stop." "(voice breaking) no, no." "It's because of what I gave her." "I mean, I was just trying-- she's been sick for a while." "And now it's time." "♪" "(grunts)" "(whispers) don't be scared." "I'm here." "♪ let it play out ♪" "♪ I hope that the sun ♪" "We're both here." "♪ I hope that the sun finds you now ♪" "Oh." "Thank you." "It's okay, mom." "You're gonna be okay." "♪ let ♪" "♪ it play ♪" "♪ out ♪" "♪ I hope that the sun ♪" "(monitor emitting continuous tone)" "♪ finds you now ♪" "(cries, whispers) no, no, no." "(adam crying)" "(tone continues)" "♪ and you'll find ♪" "♪ this time tomorrow ♪" "(continues crying)" "♪ will decide ♪" "♪ where it will all go ♪" "♪ in this life ♪" "(woman speaking indistinctly over p.A.)" "Whdidid we have to leave?" "Dr. Shepherd needed to focus." "(blows air)" "I was too late." "I was too late." "Whatever happens, patrick knows you love him." "Mm-hmm." "He's in recovery." "He had a brain hemorrhage." "I had to evacuate the hematoma," "But I managed to get the bleeding under control" "And I got the whole tumor." "Whew." "Thank you." "Thank you so much." "Uh, will he walk again?" "We won't know until the swelling goes down." "If we're lucky, he may end up" "With only some mild weakness in his leg," "But he will play again, so all things considered," "This was a success." "Uh, can I see him?" "Of course." "How can you say it's a success" "If he might end up paralyzed?" "That's the success." "(both speak inaudibly)" "How are you doing?" "Lisa never came back." "Jamie called." "She's giving her baby up for adoption." "So much for the pact." "And has your mom been by?" "To criticize me and yell." "She's not gonna come around on this." "How am I supposed to do this by myself?" "I'm totally alone." "Did you decide on a name?" "Ben." "Well, then you're not alone." "You've got ben." "I'm scared." "Well, we can work on that." "I read your book, all of it." "And?" "I can't believe how much you've been through." "It must have been really hard." "Um, yeah." "Well, you know, it was." "But, um..." "You know, I got through it." "When I saw casey..." "That little person just kind of came out of her," "And it just suddenly became real." "Like..." "I feel like I've really screwed up." "I look at my mom, and she tries to be nice," "But she already has three kids." "She doesn't need another one." "Well, this won't be her child." "It'll be yours." "I know." "(voice breaking) but I..." "But I need her." "I really need my mom." "(crying) and watching casey, I just..." "Knew that I'm gonna need help," "And I don't want to be any more of a burden." "My mom doesn't deserve that." "(exhales deeply) well, look..." "Family is..." "Hard." "It just is." "But your mother will understand," "Because she already knows what I've been trying to tell you" "That from this moment on," "Your primary focus has to be the well-being of your child." "That's..." "That's why I left my son with his father," "Because I couldn't take care of him, and..." "And he deserved better." "Just like you said in the book." "Just like I said in the book." "I don't know if I want to keep this baby anymore." "Maybe I do." "I'm just not sure." "But I don't know how to talk to my mom about this." "Well, why don't we talk to her together?" "Hi." "Here's the thing-- I don't know your father," "And maybe when you were a newborn," "He did look at you and wish that you were andy, 'cause frankly, babies all look the same." "They're all bald, wailing poop machines." "But the minute you started to grow, you were cooper," "Not some replacement child." "(laughs) what did you do?" "Oh." "Oh." "(laughs)" "You can't give up on the things you love," "Not ever." "Go." "Ahahh." "(clears throat)" "(cracks knuckles)" "(playing ragtime music)" "(susan enan) ♪ can't see the stars anymore ♪" "♪ living here ♪" "All I'm saying is that violet's got a lot going on." "She opened herself up for this book," "And you wrote a- a tough review." "E e book is already causing problems with patients." "And-- and then she sees you with me-- so what?" "My interaction with violet's professional." "My interaction with you is personal." "I don't see the conflict." "Unless your relationship with violet is personal." "Well, we're colleagues." "(sighs) look..." "I like you, sheldon, a lot." "But I don't want to have to fight" "For your loyalty or affection." "I'm not asking you to fight for me." "No, but apparently, I have to ask you to fight," "And I don't like that feeling." "When being with me" "Is more important to you than what violet thinks about us," "Call me." "Oh, come on" "No." "Wh" "(door closes)" "♪ deep in my soul for too long ♪" "♪ ooh, ooh ♪" "(door opens and closes)" "♪ I don't have the time ♪" "♪ for a drink the cup ♪" "She died." "I'm so sorry." "♪ catch us up ♪" "Adam took it pretty hard." "Well..." "You know, he's..." "Had a lot more years of actually speaking to her" "Than I have, so..." "You-- you can leave all this, sweetie." "The funeral home came and took the body away." "Pete" " I don't even know if she wants to be buried or cremated." "Maybe adam knows, but I-- pete." "♪..." "Wrong ♪" "♪ we pushed you down deep in our souls ♪" "(crying)" "♪ bring on the wonder ♪" "♪ bring on the song ♪" "♪ I pushed you down deep ♪" "♪ in my soul ♪" "(continues crying)" "♪ for too long ♪"