"Previously on Masters Of Sex..." "Bill:" "We began discussing a potential investor," "Mrs. Johnson and I immediately agreed that you were the right man for the job." "I'm interested in a fragrance that says "I want you." "Go to bed with me, you can't live without me."" "Virginia:" " Uh, you want to...?" "Henry:" " To enlist." "Virginia:" "I cannot have our son come home in a flag-draped coffin." "Tessa:" "I-I don't..." "I don't want to do that." "Matt:" "It's in your mom's book." "Jesus, don't be such a prick tease." "[ Tessa gags ]" "Matt: [ Breathing heavily ]" "Joy:" "He showed me three apartments." "Libby:" "That is a really big step." "Joy:" "But if I don't do something about this now, then that's all it will ever be, just talk." "You can walk, too, Libby." "Walk away, I mean." "Libby:" "Walk away from my life?" " Like you?" "Paul:" " It's Joy." "And they're calling it a brain aneurysm." "Bill:" "You need to come work for me." "Barton:" "But I'm happy where I am." "Bill:" "Come where you're wanted, Barton." "Where you're respected." "Dan:" "What's the story?" "Married, single?" "Bill:" "Uh, married, yes." "♪♪" ""During the first 35 years of the 20th century, the publishing houses of America printed more than a 1/5 of a million different books." "Most of them were deadly dull." "Many were financial failures." "So why did I have the temerity to write another book?" "And after I had written it, why should you bother to read 'How To Win Friends And Influence People'?"" "[ Cash register dings, indistinct conversation ]" "Leslie:" "May I help you find something?" "Luther:" "Um, uh, yeah." "I-I was looking for, uh, "Giles Goat-Boy."" "Leslie:" "You're in for quite a treat with this one." "Prepare to have your notions of the American novel torn asunder." "Bill:" "Excuse me." "I couldn't help but overhear your conversation, and I'm quite certain you're not buying the book you really wanted." "Luther:" "Buzz off." "[ Door opens ]" "Leslie:" "Is there something I can do for you?" "Because you've been browsing for quite a while now." "Bill:" "In fact, there is something you can do." "Three months ago, my book "Human Sexual Response"" "was in your front window." "Now it is tucked away behind reference books in a part of your store that gets very little foot traffic and has only got three copies." "Leslie:" "Look, if you had a question about your book, why not just walk over to the register and ask?" "Bill:" "Because while you were scaring customers off," "I was working and observing." "And it's clear to me that you would sell far more copies" "Leslie:" "People who have bought your book tend to call ahead instead of buying it off the shelves." "So we either have it waiting for them behind the counter, or we ship it out." "Now that we settled that, buy a book or leave." "In fact, Dale Carnegie would be an excellent choice, since I'm inclined to believe that winning friends is not your strong suit." "Uh..." "Where's-- where's your mother?" "Johnny:" "She's next door." "Helping the Edleys." "Are you gonna go next door, too?" "Bill:" "I will." "Not now, but... soon." "I need to stay here to look after you." "So..." "Go to bed." "[ Door opens, closes ]" "Virginia:" "Tessa?" "Have you seen my letter from Henry?" "I could have sworn I left it right here on the nightstand." "Tessa:" "You did." "Now I'm putting it back on the nightstand." "Virginia:" "So you just-- you took it without asking?" "Tessa:" "You were asleep." "Besides, you take my strawberry-meringue lipstick." "Virginia:" "As if I would want such a thing." "All right." "So, what do you think?" "He doesn't sound good, does he?" "The part where he talks about not feeling well." "That rash and sweating, fever, nausea." "Tessa:" "It's 120 degrees there." "Can't you just focus on the part where he says he found a dog?" "Henry always wanted a dog." "Virginia: "The rain never stops." "And since I chose the wrong MOS," "I keep pulling guard duty 10 hours a night."" "What is MOS?" "And what are they guarding?" "Tessa:" "It's the base." "It's like a little city." "Virginia: "If I get transferred to the motor pool," "I'll mostly just be ordering parts, and occasionally will go along on convoys to deliver ammo and other supplies."" "Tessa: [ Sniffs ]" "Virginia:" "Do you think that I could call somebody?" "Tessa:" "Call about what?" "Virginia:" "About Henry." "And I told you" " I didn't take your lipstick." "Tessa:" "Can you just drive me to school?" "I'm always late when I stay over here." "Bob:" "This was a very respectable run, Dr. Masters." "15,000 copies is nothing to sniff at." "Bill:" "That's it?" "One edition, and-- and our book is done?" "Virginia:" "How can that be?" "Bob:" "We at Little, Brown feel we will have reached a saturation point in sales." "Everyone interested in the book will have likely already purchased it." "Virginia:" "What about word of mouth?" "Don't you expect that to boost sales?" "Bill:" "In fact, I have a sense that the book is actually gaining momentum." "Bob:" "You sense it?" "Bill:" "Yes." "I've been doing some of my own research in the field, where I have seen that demand for the book is, if anything, uh, growing." "Virginia:" "Well, we are getting calls almost every week from medical schools interested in using it as a textbook." "Bill:" "But not just as textbooks." "The general public has a real appetite for this material." "Many of them are simply embarrassed to be seen buying it." "Virginia:" "If it's a question of perception, perhaps we should change the perception." "Try to get it discussed in more populist forums-- like women's magazines, for example." "Bob:" "A favorable article or two isn't gonna make the difference." "As we said from the start, the only real way to get readers comfortable with this work is to get you two out in front of the rank and file, the regular folk." "Bill:" "Oh, so we'll go out in front of the general public, and you can prepare for a second printing." "Bob:" "But the only way a second printing is happening is if the book sells out." "And the only way for the book to sell out involves a lot more work from you-- more interviews, more lectures, personal appearances." "Heck, maybe a whole tour of the Midwest." "I cannot put my neck on the line with Little, Brown headquarters if you aren't willing to get out there and pound the pavement." "So, are you two willing to take this show on the road?" "Bill:" "We are." "Absolutely." "Virginia:" "We'll have to look at our schedules." "♪♪" "Margaret: [ Moans ]" "Graham:" "Do you like it?" "Margaret:" "Mm-hmm." "Graham:" "Tell me." "Margaret:" "I like it." "Oh, but-- [Chuckles]" "Graham:" "But what?" "Margaret: [ Clears throat, sighs ]" "Graham:" "The truth, Margaret." "Margaret:" "I just want the kind of sex where..." "Graham:" "So we should keep that appointment." "And Jo?" "What do we tell them about Jo?" "Margaret:" "This is about us, Graham." "Just us." "Virginia:" "Ann Arbor is a 10-hour drive." "Bill:" "Betty, we're gonna need you to follow up with" "Betty:" "The Little, Brown man?" "I'm on it." "Dan:" "Hello, hello." "I'm afraid your Lambert Airport delayed us with the luggage." "Virginia:" "Mr. Logan and company." "Dan:" "Allow me to introduce you to my research assistants." "This is Mary Lynn, Mary Ann, and Trudy." "They've just flown in from New York with our fragrance samples, and we are ready to get straight to work-- after you sign Mary Lynn's book." "All she's talked about since she stepped on the tarmac." "Mary Lynn:" "It would be an honor, Dr. Masters." "I'm something of a scientist myself." "Bill:" "Oh." "What kind of science?" "Mary Lynn:" "Astrology." "Bill:" "Uh, I don't seem to have a" "Mary Lynn:" "I come prepared." "I'm a Virgo." "[ Pen scratching ]" "Virginia:" "Uh, Mary Lynn... was it?" ""To a fellow intellectual and woman of science."" "Dan:" "And you should know, ladies, that Mrs. Johnson is the role model for all young women of intelligence and ambition." "Degree in psychology, expert in her field, and she is also eminently gracious." "Virginia:" "Being an Aquarius." "Betty!" "Uh, is the exam room ready for Mr. Logan and his backup singers?" "Betty:" "Come this way, girls." "I can't make any promises about the acoustics." "Jenny:" "Is Mrs. Edley a turnip?" "Johnny keeps saying she's a vegetable." "Libby: [ Scoffs ]" "Jenny:" "But vegetables don't sit in wheelchairs or get dressed." "Libby:" "First of all, Mrs. Edley is not a vegetable." "And her husband helps her get dressed, or her caretaker." "Jenny:" "But she can't wear pants anymore, can she?" "Libby:" "Of course she can." "Mrs. Edley can wear whatever she wants." "Jenny:" "But why is Mrs. Edley like that?" "Libby:" "Something went wrong with her brain." "Jenny:" "Can that happen to you?" "Libby:" "No." "No, of course not." "[ Chuckles ]" "I mean, um..." "It won't happen to me." "Jenny:" "How do you know?" "Is daddy gonna have to dress you every day?" "Libby:" "Honey..." "I am fine." "I am completely fine." "Nothing is gonna happen to me." "Okay." "[ Chuckles ]" "♪♪" "Betty:" "How about the week with Columbus Day?" "Virginia:" "Mm, Tessa's off school that week, which actually makes it worse." "When she's in school, at least I know where she is all day." "Bill:" "The week after, then." "Virginia:" "That is George's yearly fishing trip, so I'll have Tessa with me then, too." "Bill:" "Well, Tessa can stay with Libby." "Virginia:" "I impose on Libby enough." "Bill:" "So, when exactly are you available?" "Betty:" "I hear a phone ringing somewhere." "Not here." "Virginia:" "I'm just trying to be practical here, Bill." "We can't just drop everything and hit the road." "We have patients to see." "We have a new investor breathing down our necks." "Bill:" "Oh, Dan Logan and The Shirelles?" "They are not a priority." "Virginia:" "Yes, but other things are." "I got another letter from Henry last night." "And I need to get to the bottom of what's happened to him." "Bill:" "What's happened to him?" "Virginia:" "Yes, he says that he's sick-- in his letters." "Sweating, fever, nausea." "Bill:" "Oh, well, those are all common reactions to a tropical climate." "Virginia:" "Malaria being another common reaction." "Bill:" "Well, it's possible." "But it's more likely a stomach bug... or a reaction to anti-malarial pills." "He could have a mild case of gastroenteritis." "Food poisoning." "The beginnings of ulcerative colitis." "Even a bad sunburn could produce a similar reaction." "The symptoms are too general to say anything definitively, but I wouldn't worry." "Virginia:" "I'll stop worrying as soon as I know." "As for now, let's just be smart about work." "If we have to tour the Midwest, we should divide and conquer." "Bill:" "Divide?" "What-- you mean tour separately?" "Virginia:" "Yes." "You can take the further venues, and I'll take Chesterfield." "Bill:" "Chesterfield is 20 minutes away." "Virginia:" "Fine." "Then you take Chesterfield, and I will hold down the fort here." "Bill:" "Have you read our book, Virginia?" "It's by Masters and Johnson." "A collaborative effort by two writers, one male, one female." "So we're perceived as a team because... we're a team." "Virginia:" "I'm just trying to be practical, Bill." "Bill: "I will quote many great men in this book, and one of the greatest, John D Rockefeller, said," "'The ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee.'" "And that ability to deal with people comes down to one all-important law of human conduct." "If we obey this law, we shall almost never get into trouble."" "Libby:" "I'm turning in now." "Good night." "Bill:" "Yes." "Good night, Lib." "[ Door opens, closes ]" ""In fact, if obeyed, this will bring us countless friends and constant happiness." "The law is this-- always make the other person feel important."" "♪♪" "Elsa:" "Your wife is going to be thrilled." "You made an excellent choice." "Especially for a fur virgin." "[Chuckles] It's just a term we use for a man who's never bought a fur before." "Bill:" "Yes, well..." "I'm not prone to extravagant gestures." "But sometimes it's important to, um... to demonstrate how-- how much you appreciate someone." "And..." "I'd like to thank you for your assistance today..." "Elsa." "Virginia:" "Why aren't you dressed?" "Is that another letter from Henry?" "Tessa:" "No, it's not another letter from Henry." "Virginia:" "Well, then why are you hiding it?" "What happened?" "Tessa:" "I got suspended from school." "For cutting class..." "starting today." "Feel better?" "Virginia: [ Sighs ]" "Pay attention to what she tells you." "Tessa:" "Okay." "She's just going to be alphabetizing files... and helping with the rolodex cards." "♪♪" "What's that?" "I don't understand." "Bill:" "Just-- just open it, Virginia." "Do you like it?" "Virginia:" "I-I don't know what to say." "Bill:" "Do you know what John Dewey said?" ""Every great advance in science has issued from a new audacity of imagination."" "Virginia:" "Uh, sorry." "John..." "Dewey?" "Bill:" "My point, Virginia, is... you have been that and more." "You have been audacious, tireless, dedicated, and brilliant." "And it's only fitting that you should have a token of... well, of-- of my appreciation..." " of you." " [ Door opens ]" "Betty: 10:00." "First victim's up." "Bill:" "Betty, there is a reason knocking was invented!" "Virginia:" "Betty, uh, what about Barton?" "Betty:" "Out for the day... as planned." "[ Door closes ]" "Bill:" "You can try it on later." "Margaret:" "Of course, I've followed all your triumphs." "Graham will tell you." "Graham:" "Any mention of you two in the papers she clips and puts by my morning coffee." "Bill: [ Chuckles ]" "Well, we do go way back, Margaret." "Virginia:" "And you do look wonderful." "Graham:" "She's certainly not the woman I met a year ago." "You've blossomed like a flower, Magpie." "Margaret: [ Laughs ]" "Graham:" "I'd like to think it was because of me that's made a difference." "But what really happened is, she's met herself." "Margaret:" "Sounds silly put that way." "Graham:" "Well, it doesn't matter how it sounds if it's the truth." "Margaret:" "Aww." "Graham is teaching me not to care what people think." "He didn't understand why I took pains to come on Barton's day off." "Graham:" "Well, it's been-- it's been three years since the divorce." "Virginia:" "So, Barton is aware that you've remarried?" "Margaret:" "Oh, no." "Graham and I aren't-- I mean, maybe one day." "Bill:" "So, you're, uh, living together?" "Graham:" "Yes, and enjoying each other day by day." "Margaret:" "My old self would be scandalized." "My new self is, um..." "Graham:" "Following your path." " [ Laughs ] Margaret:" " Yes." "Are you familiar with the works of William Glasser?" "Reality therapy?" "Graham and I met in a workshop, and..." "Graham:" "Reality therapy is about personal choice, personal responsibility, personal transformation." "Margaret:" "And it's helped me not be afraid to tell Graham what I need... um, including in bed." "Graham:" "Which brings us to you." "I, um, a li" " I'm a little quick off the starting block." "What am I saying?" " No euphemisms." "Margaret:" " Right." "Graham:" "I have been ejaculating prematurely." "Margaret:" "You can help with that, can't you?" "Bill:" "And for the two of you, sex is?" "Graham:" "It depends." "Sometimes I can last a minute or two, and sometimes it's over before I enter her." "Bill:" "And does she physically stimulate you in any way prior to intercourse?" "Graham:" "There's no need." "Once we begin, I'm-- I'm ready to go." "A little too ready." "[ Chuckles ]" "Bill:" "And Margaret?" "Margaret:" "It can take me a while." "Virginia:" "And Graham doesn't satisfy you in other ways?" "Margaret:" "He wants to." "He tries to." "But I want it to happen with us together, looking into each other's eyes." "You think I've read too many romance novels." "Virginia: - [ Chuckles ] Margaret: - [ Chuckles ]" "Virginia:" "Well, simultaneous orgasm is a romantic notion, but it's not the norm." "Margaret:" "But it's happened for us before, in the beginning." "And I think with help, we could get back to that." "Graham:" "Is this" " I don't know." "Is this what you do?" "Is this-- you rehash the past?" "Because I don't particularly like to look back." "[ Chuckles ]" ""What are you going to do about your life beginning today?"" "Is what Glasser would have us ask ourselves." "The only thing that matters is right now." "Bill:" "The past may hold some answers." "Graham:" "Well, I've spent most of my life trying to make my two ex-wives and a handful of girlfriends happy." "And looking back on it now," "I don't" " I don't even think I liked them." "[ Chuckles ]" "But I-I like this one... because she doesn't want to look backwards, either." "Now, if you have some practical advice to offer" "Bill:" "We do." "Our treatment involves, uh, a system of physical reconditioning that allows a man to regain control of his ejaculatory response." "Virginia:" "But if simultaneity weren't always the goal?" "Margaret:" "It's only good when it's us together." "Virginia:" "That's a tall order." "Margaret:" "In the beginning, oh, our bodies fit together." "We-- we were attuned to each other so acutely." "The pleasure was more than physical." "It was... you'll laugh, but spiritual." "I've never had that before." "I don't want to give up on having it again." "♪♪" "[ Door opens ]" "Betty:" "Uh, Dr. Scully!" "Barton:" "That's my name." "Don't wear it out." "Betty:" "Oh, what are you doing here on your day off?" "Barton:" "I'm here to see a patient." "Betty:" "Oh, no, you're not." "Uh, not in my book." "And my book's the only one that counts." "So scoot." "Out." "Margaret:" "Barton." "Barton:" "Margaret." "Margaret:" "Hello." "Barton: [ Chuckles ]" "Are-- are you here to see me?" "Margaret:" "N-no." "Actually..." "Virginia:" "Margaret, um..." "Graham:" "So, what happens next?" "We-- we switch?" "[ Chuckles ]" "Barton:" "Oh, I-I see." "Uh..." "You must be..." "Margaret:" "This is Graham Pennington." "This is my husband, Barton Scully." "Graham:" " Oh, your ex-husband." "Margaret:" " Oh, yeah." "Barton:" "I say it sometimes, too." " "My wife." Graham: - [ Chuckles ]" "Well, I'm keeping you all from something very important, I'm sure." "So, uh, I'll just, uh..." "[ Chuckles ]" "I'll just..." "Margaret:" "Oh, his pants were hanging off him." "Did you see?" "Has he been sick?" "Bill:" "He's fine." "Margaret:" "Why has he stopped wearing hats?" "He's prone to colds, you know." "Bill:" "Margaret." "Margaret: [ Sighs ] I'm" " I'm sorry." "Bill:" "How long has it been?" "Margaret:" "Since we signed the papers." "Barton insisted we cut off contact." "I thought he was being selfish and protecting himself, and then I-- [Breathes deeply]" "I realized it was his way of letting me make a new life." "Bill:" "Which you seem to have done." "Margaret:" "Have I?" "Falling in love with another man where sex is..." "Bill:" "Well, Graham and Barton have very different issues." "Premature ejaculation is not an indication of... lack of attraction to the opposite sex." "Margaret:" "So you know." "Bill:" "I've known for some time." "Margaret:" "Two men, Bill." "Two men with sexual dysfunctions." "I..." "I think it's got to be me." "Bill:" "Margaret, I'm sure Graham could reassure you that he desires women." "Margaret:" "Well, that would require him knowing the truth, why my marriage ended..." "Why I insist on face-to-face sex..." "Why I can't do anything to him orally..." "Why I need him to see me, my body." "Bill:" "Margaret, I understand your need to protect Barton's privacy, but surely you can tell Graham in confidence." "Margaret: [ Sighs ]" "Have you told anyone?" "I told him some version of what I told Vivian-- that-- that I had... other men..." "That the divorce was my fault." "And as a result, my own daughter wants nothing to do with me." "But I tell myself, in time, Vivian will forgive me." "But if she knows her father sleeps with men," "Barton will lose her forever." "But it haunts me, carrying around a secret that doesn't belong to me and isn't mine to tell." "Barton:" "I can't see anything to worry about." "A little breakthrough bleeding is entirely normal with the pill." "Libby:" "You're sure?" "It's-- it's not the sign of a-- a blood clot or a vascular problem?" "Barton:" "That's an odd question." "Libby:" "It's just, um... my neighbor had a stroke-- or an aneurysm." "I'm not exactly sure what the difference is." "And it's, um, awful." "I guess I just got frightened." "Have I made you come in for nothing?" "Barton:" "It's no problem, really." "I mean, working here has been a refuge." "Well, most days." "And bringing new life into the world..." "Nothing beats that." "Libby:" "Yes, of course." "Well, with all the trouble I had," "I-I know exactly what that's like." "Barton:" "You know, that's why, uh, I was surprised when you said you were on the pill." "I mean, all the single girls are on the pill now." "Married ones, too." "Many with boyfriends on the side." "Libby:" " Oh!" "[ Chuckles ] Barton: - [ Chuckles ]" "In my job, you see everything, of course." "Libby:" "I was having cramps, and it helps keep my cycle regular." "Barton:" "I'm surprised that you couldn't talk to Bill about all this." "Libby:" "I think it's nicer for a husband and wife to maintain a little mystery in that area." "Don't you agree?" "Betty:" "For your mom, if it's a business card like this, it's okay to staple." "And voilã ." "She's a rebel, your mom." "Tessa:" "She's a guard at a labor camp." "Betty:" "Oh, she's doing the right thing making you come in here and work." "When I got suspended, my mom didn't even care, didn't even notice." "And, believe me, no good came from that." "All right." "For these, all caps, last name, comma, first." "Tessa:" "So..." "She bring her boyfriends around here?" "My mom?" "Betty:" "What boyfriends?" "Tessa:" "Come on." "You've met them." "Him." "The latest one." "I'm not so sure he's a keeper." "Betty:" "Look at you, going on a fishing expedition." "What about you, huh?" "When do I get to meet your boyfriend?" "Tessa: [ Scoffs ]" ""International lubricants."" "See, this is why I can't bring Matt anywhere near this place." "Why can't these people just figure out this sex stuff on their own?" "Betty:" "Well, thanks to your mom, they don't have to, which is a big plus, trust me." "In my day, people understood the plumbing in their bathrooms better than their own ducts and pipes." "Tessa:" "What do you really need to know?" "As long as you're being careful." "Betty:" "Oh, you know all about that, huh?" "You and Matt?" "Tessa:" "Better than my mom." "What Matt and I do won't leave you with a crying Baby Lisa that keeps you up all night long." "♪♪" "Virginia:" "That's why I'm calling you, Sergeant Ivey, because there isn't anybody else." "Oh, I see." "I see." "So, once you reel them in, you have no interest in any follow-up whatsoever?" "Despite sending boys 8,000 miles away into some jungle?" "Yes." "Yes, I do see." "And thank you not at all." "Dan:" "So, we're ready in the testing room." "Got 12 scents, six of which aren't even commercially available yet." "You're not listening to a word of this, are you?" "Virginia: [ Sighs ] I'm sorry." "I..." "I have a sick child." "Dan:" "Hm." "So you need to go home?" "Virginia:" "No." "I have a sick child in Vietnam." "He's serving in the army." "He sent me a letter, and I'm worried that he has malaria." "Dan:" "Well, like you said, he is in the middle of a jungle." "Virginia:" "You were listening to my phone call?" "Dan:" "Certain decibel levels do carry." "But you're right." "He likely does have malaria-- or dengue." "I served in the Pacific." "Came down with both myself." "Virginia:" " Really?" "Dan:" " Mm-hmm." "Virginia:" "So, could you tell me what this sounds like?" "Dan:" "Mm-hmm." "Now, I'm no doctor, and these symptoms seem fairly general, but if this is malaria and it's bad enough, they could toss him out on medical discharge." "Virginia:" "Really?" "Is that really true?" "Dan:" "It is." "I'll tell you what." "Let me get on the horn, talk to some people I know, see if I can find some more information for you." "Now, I can't promise anything, but it's worth a shot." "Hmm?" "Virginia:" "Please don't say that if you don't actually mean it." "If this is just you being charming and you have no intention of actually helping me here" "Dan:" "I wish there had been someone to help my mother when I was overseas." "That's all I'm offering, Virginia." "Bill:" "We need two questionnaires in the conference room." "Mrs. Scully and Mr. Pennington need a follow-up appointment." "And have we finalized the tour dates?" "Betty:" "Uh... that's a real bugaboo, that book tour." "Bill:" "Which days has Virginia agreed to?" "Betty:" "So far, zero." "Bill:" "Betty, it is your job to pin Virginia down on these dates." "It is your job to get her to commit to a schedule." "Betty:" "She's a grown woman with her own" "Bill:" "Do you know what JP Morgan said?" "Betty:" "I don't." "We're not close." "Bill: "A person has two reasons for doing something." "One that sounds good..."" "Betty:" "And the real reason." "You've been reading Dale Carnegie." "Bill:" "What?" "That's..." "Don't" " Ridiculous." "Betty:" "I know that book by heart." "Dale's a local boy." "Our paths crossed back when..." "It's a long story." "But it has come in very handy many times in dealing with you." "Bill:" "The point I'm trying to make is" "Betty:" "Is that people have a real reason for doing something." "They also have a real reason for not doing something." "Bill:" "Yes." "Betty:" "So when it comes to Virginia, let me give you some real reasons for her not doing something." "She has an infant with a babysitter who can't keep out of the liquor cabinet, she's got a teenager suspended for cutting class, and she's got a son fighting in a war 8,000 miles away." "Does that sound like someone about to drop everything and go on a book tour of the Midwest?" "Bill:" "Virginia's babysitter's drinking?" "Betty:" "Know what else my friend Dale says?" "3/4 of the people you will meet are hungering and thirsting for sympathy." "Give it to them, and they will love you." "♪♪" "[ Footsteps approaching ]" "Tessa:" "I'm here because I'm suspended." "Bill:" "Yes, your mother told me." "I only hope it's not for drinking... because if this is starting to be a pattern with you, having witnessed it firsthand..." "Tessa:" "It's not a pattern." "And what do you care, anyway?" "Bill:" "I care because... your mother is overextended." "She can barely take care of her many obligations without you adding more press-- Tessa." "Tessa, I'm talking to you." "Betty:" "I see Dale's book is really working its magic on you." "By the way, we need to cancel our subscription of Doll Parade." "It's the stimulation of last resort for the fellas when they're, you know, donating." "Go on, rip off the wrapper and see what the problem is." "Bill:" "Why is a girl in a bathing suit wrapped in brown paper?" "Betty: 'Cause it's good for circulation." "But the magazine itself, it's a dog." "The guys need more skin." "So I'm canceling it." "[ Knock on door ]" "Libby:" "Hello?" "[ Man speaking indistinctly on TV ]" "Um, I brought some dinner for you and Joy..." "Unless the caretaker" "Paul:" "No, I fired the caretaker." "Libby:" "It looks like you had good reason to." "Paul:" "No, not really." "I was just, um, watching her get Joy dressed this morning, and it occurred to me that, um, Joy's birthday is next week." "So I thought, "What should I do?" "Should I plan a party or buy her a present?"" "And then suddenly I..." "All I wanted was that nurse gone." "I just wanted to be alone with her, just the two of us." "Libby:" "I understand." "Um, that must be" "Paul:" "It's a nightmare." "That's what it is." "And you want to know the real truth?" "Um..." "I don't see why I should buy Joy anything... 'cause she's already gone." "It's like she's dead." "It's like sitting here day and night... with a corpse." "Libby:" "A corpse?" "What a terrible thing to say." "Joy is sitting right here." "You have no idea what she knows or what she feels or cares or-- or hears." "For you to just write her off like that is criminal." "Joy is the woman that you married all these years ago, and you have to remember and honor who she is-- still." "Treat her with the same dignity and respect that you always did." "[ Sighs ]" "We're gonna give her a bath..." "Together..." "Now." "[ Knocking ]" "Margaret: [ Breathes deeply ] Whew." "Your elevator's out." "[ Chuckles ]" "I was worried you weren't eating enough." "Now I understand those four flights of stairs are what's keeping you so thin." "Barton: - [ Chuckles ] Margaret: - [ Sighs ]" "Beef bourguignon." "May I come in?" "Barton:" "Of course." "Sorry." "I'm not much of a housekeeper." "Margaret: [ Chuckles ] As if that's news to me." "It's very... pleasant." "Barton: [ Chuckles ] "Pleasant."" "That word." "Whenever we'd go to a restaurant and you didn't like your meal, you'd always smile and say, "It's very pleasant."" "Margaret: [ Chuckles ]" "Well, this time I mean it's pleasant." "Knowing you, I was worried you'd take the first place you saw." "Barton:" "This was the first place." "Why don't I put that in the fridge?" "Margaret:" "Why don't I put it in the fridge, and you make us a drink?" "Barton:" "Your gentleman friend seems very nice." "Quite a firm handshake." "Margaret:" "Sorry about how that happened." "Barton:" "I'll be honest-- I'm not sure what to think, given you and this man have cause to see Bill and Virginia already." "Has it occurred to you that you might not be ideally suited?" "Margaret:" "And how long should Graham and I wait to address our sexual issues, Barton?" "30 years?" "Barton:" "No, of course not." "I just want you to be happy, Margaret." "Margaret: [ Sighs ]" "Well, I actually think I've found a way." "And it starts with telling the truth about everything." "Who's J?" "Barton:" "J?" "Margaret:" "All those dishes in the refrigerator with instructions taped to them" ""Reheat in a 350-degree oven for 15 minutes." "Love, J"?" "Who's J?" "Mm." "Is it a man?" "Barton: "J" is Judith." "She lives in the building." "She leaves me dinner sometimes." "Margaret:" "And notes with hearts." "Barton:" "It doesn't mean anything, Margaret." "Margaret:" "Not to you, perhaps, but what do you mean to her?" "Barton:" "We're friends." "We enjoy each other's company." "I took her to dinner on New Year's." "We play Cribbage." "Margaret:" "Does she know?" "About you?" "Barton:" "You mean what kind of man I am?" "That I'm the kind who can't cook, who can't keep house, who, after a failed marriage of 30 years is grateful for the friendship of a-- a nice middle-aged woman who occasionally stops by with meatloaf" "and stays to watch "Perry Mason"?" "Margaret:" "And after "Perry Mason"?" "Barton:" "Not that it's any of your business, Margaret, but we're not having a sexual relationship." "Margaret:" "Well, neither were you and I." "Now, I understand why you can't be honest with your daughter, and I pay the price every time I call Vivian and she hangs up on me, but this woman, this new woman, she deserves to know the truth." "She deserves to know what kind of future she can expect." "Barton:" "You're out of line, Margaret." "Margaret:" "Why?" "Why are you the only one who gets a choice in this?" "Barton:" "What are you talking about?" "You moved on." "With-- with what's-his-name." "Margaret:" "Well, then let me tell him the truth." "Let me tell him why our marriage ended." "Barton:" "How I choose to conduct my private life is my business, and mine only." "Margaret:" "Barton, what have you and I learned through all of our pain if you're lying to a woman who cares about you and I can't tell Graham why sex is the only way I know that he loves me?" "Tell Judith." "Let me tell Graham." "Barton:" "You're asking too much, Margaret." "I'm sorry." "[ Door opens ]" "Leslie:" "Oh, for the love of God..." "Bill:" "Nice to see you again, Leslie." "Leslie:" "Really?" "'Cause I'm not sure it's so nice at all." "Bill:" "I do think we can agree that a little controversy can be a good thing." "Can't it?" "Drive sales." "Certainly didn't hurt "Women In Love" or "Lolita," did it?" "Leslie:" "If you're comparing those books to your book, your book isn't dirty." "Believe me, I read your book before I agreed to stock it." "Bill:" "You're absolutely correct." "But what if people thought it were?" "What I'm proposing is that you take every last copy you have left, wrap it up in plain brown paper, and create a display for the front window." "Leslie:" "And?" "Bill:" "And watch." "With no sign, no explanation, curiosity will get the better of people." "You tell someone he can't have something, suddenly it's all he wants." "Next thing, people are in the store asking a question, making a purchase." "Leslie:" "With all due respect, you're a scientist, not a salesman." "Bill:" "Just test me and-- and see." "Try it." "And if it doesn't lead to increased sales, I'll, um..." "I'll buy every last copy." ""Wouldn't you like a magic phrase to stop arguments, end ill feelings, create goodwill, and make the other person feel better?" "Yes?" "All right, here it is." "Say, 'I don't blame you one iota for feeling as you do." "I understand how you feel.'"" "[ Mailbox creaks ]" "I've been meaning to come over, Paul." "I wanted you to know that, uh, I looked into it, and in neurology, Dolan is the best." "There's no one better." "Paul: [ Sighs ]" "Bill:" "I-I understand how you feel." "Paul: [ Scoffs ]" "[ Voice breaking ] You can't begin to know how I feel." "My life is over." "It's just fucking over." "There's nothing left." "I have nothing left." "[ Crying ]" "♪♪" "♪♪" "Libby:" "You're home early." "Bill:" "Uh, yes." "I, uh..." "Libby:" "I'll, uh" " I'll have dinner shortly." "I was thinking today, um, about when you were first named head of the department at Maternity." "You-- you thought the position had gone to Carlisle, and then they handed you the job." "Bill:" "Yes." "That was, um... a long time ago." "Libby:" "And you wanted to celebrate." "We wanted, the two of us, to celebrate together... because you said that I had been" "I remember you used the word "instrumental"" "in helping you win the job." "Bill:" "You were instrumental." "Libby:" "Do you remember what you did?" "Bill:" "I... took us out to dinner." "I think I-I bought the most expensive bottle of champagne on the list." "♪♪" "Virginia: [ Sighs ]" "Dan:" "It's the army." "They like to keep you waiting, remind you who's in charge." "Virginia:" "Well, I had no idea that we would be waiting for two hours." "I'm sorry." "I know I dragged you here." "Dan:" "You didn't." "I volunteered." "And my assistants can hold down the fort." "Virginia: [ Scoffs ]" "You mean Snap, Crackle, and Pop?" "Dan:" "God, you are so like her..." "A girl I used to know." "Virginia: [ Scoffs ]" "Here it comes again." "The old Dan Logan charm." "Again, my apologies." "Dan:" "That wasn't a line, by the way." "It's true." "She had dark hair like you." "And a brother who hadn't made it home from France." "I met her at a USO dance." "You were probably still in grade school." "Virginia:" "I used to go to USO dances." "Dan:" "Oh, so you are old enough to remember?" "Virginia:" "Barely." "I was 18, when it ended." "Dan:" "She was the only girl in the room I wanted to dance with." "But I hadn't been to Arthur Murray at that point, and the dance floor was crowded." "Nearly broke the poor thing's ankle." "Virginia: - [ Chuckles ] Dan: - [ Chuckles ]" "But she just laughed." "She put her arms around my neck and made me carry her off the dance floor." "She told me later she liked being the center of attention." "Didn't care what anyone else thought." "There's something very... intoxicating about a woman like that." "Virginia:" "What happened to her?" "Dan:" "I still had six months before I shipped out." "We didn't let the time go to waste." "Virginia:" "And after the war?" "Dan:" "After the war, it was back to real life." "Virginia:" "And back to the girlfriend at home." "Dan:" "Back to my wife." "Virginia:" "But that girl..." " Did you love her?" "Dan:" " Very much." "Virginia:" "Then how does a man just walk away back to his fiancã©e?" "Dan:" "Wife." "Virginia:" "Maybe you were afraid." "Afraid that if you ran off with that..." "dazzling girl... that you would never really measure up." "Dan:" "If that's how you want your story to end." "But I never gave her the chance to see that the Dan Logan charm wears thin... or so I'm told." "Virginia:" "And your wife?" "Dan:" "Is still my wife." "Virginia:" "And still none the wiser." "Dan:" "No." "Much wiser." "Soldier:" "He's ready for you." "Tessa:" "I had the worst day imaginable." "I didn't know who else to call." "Matt:" "I'm glad you called." "Tessa:" "Matt..." "Matt:" "Okay." "[ Sighs ]" "So, what happened today?" "Tessa:" "It was awful." "Matt:" "Did you get suspended again?" "Tessa:" "I found out something... really bad about my mother." "Matt:" "Did you find one of those dildos in her bedroom?" "Did you walk in on her with some guy?" "Please tell me that you read some weird fantasy in her diary." "Tessa:" "You know what, Matt?" "I'm really not in the mood to talk about it after all." "Matt:" "Geez." "Tessa." "[ Scoffs ]" "You want to talk, you don't want to talk." "I mean, I'm trying here." "But make up your mind." "Tessa:" "My mind's already made up." "So, why don't you undo your belt, and I'll put my mouth on you?" "Matt:" "Yeah?" "Tessa:" "Why not?" "♪♪" "[ Door closes, bells jingle ]" "[ Door opens ]" "Bill:" "You obviously misunderstood me." "We had an agreement." "And that was" "Leslie:" "I understood the agreement." "And I did it." "And then it worked, just as you said." "Bill:" "You've sold out?" "Leslie:" "Every last copy." "Virginia:" "Oh, I'm sorry." "I just can't" " I can't go home yet." "I don't want my daughter to see me like this." "Dan:" "Well, at least he doesn't have malaria." "Virginia:" "Oh, and alcohol poisoning is better?" "Sweating, nausea." "Why don't they just call it "drank himself stupid"?" "Dan:" "Well, kids are stupid at that age, and he's on his own for the first time" "Virginia:" "Exactly." "A boy who can't even hold his liquor has now volunteered for a combat unit?" "And they let him?" "Why didn't they call me?" "Tell me?" "Dan:" "He's 18." "Virginia:" "Henry promised me that he would not take a combat position." "We had a deal that he would scrub latrines, do laundry." "Dan:" "Just 'cause he's in a combat unit doesn't mean he's not gonna be okay." "Virginia:" "You don't know him." "Henry cried when Bambi's mother died." "He used to hide under the covers during thunderstorms." "Dan:" "But he's a soldier now." "And you know what a soldier does?" "Virginia: [ Sighs ]" "Dan:" "He gets through the day." "That's it." "He wakes up, makes his bed, eats his breakfast, does his work." "He doesn't wonder what's gonna happen tomorrow." "He doesn't look around the bend to see what's coming next week." "He lives one moment to the next, and at the end of the day, goes to bed." "And when he wakes up in the morning, he does it all over again... because anything else is either speculation or suffering a future pain that will likely never happen." "One second after another-- that's how I got through the war." "That's how your son's getting through the war." "And that's how you'll get through this war... 'cause it's the only way." "♪♪" "Tessa: [ Spits ]" "♪♪" "Woman: ...alone in this house if you aren't married." "Man:" "Well, it's a family home, and I'm the last of the family." "Judith:" "The dishes are in the rack." "That lovely beef stew saved for leftovers." "Barton: [ Chuckles ]" "Judith:" "Who did you say made that for you?" "Barton:" "One of the girls at the office." "They, uh..." "Why don't I walk you up to your apartment?" "Judith:" "Or..." "I left some extra food out for the cat." "I don't think she'd miss me too much if I stayed the night." "Oh, I'm sorry." "I've shocked you." "Barton:" "No, no." "Not at all." "[ Chuckles ]" "[ Breathes deeply ]" "I don't know how to say this, but I think I owe it to you to be honest." "Judith:" "You're still in love with your ex-wife." "Barton:" "No, that's not, uh..." "No." "[ Sighs ]" "There were... some difficulties in our marriage, problems that still exist with me." "[ Sighs ]" "I'm, uh..." "Uh..." "I'm on medication... for high blood pressure." "Comes with certain side effects." "Judith:" "Oh, I see." "Barton:" "I haven't wanted to tell you because I've been enjoying your company so much." "And, uh, nowadays, women seem to think that sex is so important." "Yep." "Judith:" "Not all women." "[ Jo giggling ]" "Margaret: [ Gasps ] Oh!" "Do I have the wrong night?" "It's..." "[Sighs] Thursday." "[ Chuckles ] I'm sorry, Jo." "I thought it was Friday." "Jo:" "Is that nightie new?" "It looks pretty on you." "Doesn't it, Graham?" "Graham:" "Come here." "Sleep well, Magpie." "Margaret:" "You too." "Both of you." "Lights on or off?" "Jo:" "Off, please." "[ Giggles ]" "♪♪" "♪♪" "[ Door opens ]" "Virginia:" "Hello?" "[ Door closes ]" "Hello?" "Bill." "Uh..." "I'm sorry, but tonight's not really a good night." "Tessa's here." "Bill:" "Oh, I-I know." "I-I just wanted to-- wanted to talk to you." "Virginia:" " About?" "Bill:" " Some good news." "Uh, Little, Brown have agreed to a second run of our book." "Virginia:" "That's fantastic." "Does that mean that we are moving ahead with the tour?" "Bill:" "Uh, actually, the more I thought about the tour, the more I realized it may not be, uh, the best time for you to be on the road." "Virginia:" "Uh, well, it's not ideal." "Bill:" "So instead, we're gonna try a new marketing strategy-- wrapping the books in brown paper." "It's a way of eliciting curiosity from the public..." "Selling the book as something mysterious..." "Illicit, even." "Virginia:" "Really?" "Bill:" "Why I'm really here, though, is, um..." "Uh, to talk to you about Henry." "Have you heard anything more?" "Maybe we could call someone." "You know-- to get a definitive answer." "Virginia:" "Actually, I've already taken care of it." "It's not what I thought it was." "Bill:" "So he's-- he's not sick." "Well, that-- that's-- that's good news." "Uh, also, I've, um..." "I realized that, um... that this gift-- the coat, I mean-- was a surprise to you... and an odd gesture-- for me, anyway..." "Fur being the kind of thing a-a man... uh, buys for his wife." "Um..." "You know, to be honest, I..." "I-I was reading this, uh, silly book." "A huge best-seller, of course." "An advice book that goes about as deep as a thimble." "Um, you can't believe the things on the bookshelves these" "Um, all that aside..." "I meant what I said." "None of our success would have happened without you." "So why-- why shouldn't you wear something that makes you feel good?" "Virginia:" "It's gorgeous, Bill... and so generous." "But I..." "Bill:" "Look, tonight we have several things to celebrate-- the second run of our book, Henry now malaria-free." "So I-I was wondering, have you eaten?" "Virginia:" "No." "Bill:" "Can I take you to dinner?" "Virginia:" "All right." "Bill:" "Good." "There's, uh, kind of a chill in the air." "If only you had a coat." "Virginia: [ Chuckles ]" "♪♪"