"Made by Neo666" "I never wanted us was' mystery 'on us." "It 'just that I had nothing to say, at the beginning." "But now, after all this time, c '?" "just a story." "Yet, every night I think that my life is so?" "boring." "I know what?" "Many people ... not deserve to have a book written about us." "I know I have to talk about details of my life." "You know, I like to talk with you ... but   I do not think that will be the most open with you about my personal life." "Why?" "People do not deserve to know ..." "You do the cocks   about my life private now." "Vadano to fanculo!" "They must not know ALL about me." "I have always wanted to think I was an alien." "When I thought little of have been adopted by my mother, ... because ...?" "I had found when a spaceship   I was sent down by a different planet." "I wanted so much." "Every night I spoke with the My real family in heaven." "I knew that there were thousands more cascati children of aliens on Earth." "And they are everywhere." "I know different." "I have always thought about this thing." "It was fun to imagine." "I am not here for a few special reason   and I always longing for home." "And 'the same for the other aliens." "I have known only a handful   during my life   and one day discover cos'?" "that we have to do." "Until all'et?" "Had for 8 years had a childhood very happy." "Really good, with a mother affectionate E. .." "... I have always driven to make art." "Disegnavo, read and she encouraged me." "I enjoyed it a lot ..." "a childhood truly excellent." "I had everything under control and I knew what I did." "Nothing could stop." "I knew they can do what I wanted to perch?" "world was small   and the things I was prostravano Fortunately front   and I did not have n?" "problems n?" "obstacles, at that time." "I have never been a 'bad boy' ... but I did things ..." "... pull cans full of stones at cars." "And I was fixed with the cops." "I said "corn on the cops." The cops arrive and kill you." "As I saw a flying saucer tiravo the cans." "And as I saw a sbirro the cantavo those words   and the indicavo saying that it was' evil '." "My aunt Mary   a sort of aspiring musician   played in various groups in Aberdeen Bar   and you?" "been the person I has helped the most by far   with regard to the music ... because ...?" "me regal?" "a guitar electricity when I was 8 years   and I was her to give me the Beatles discs." "And I said a bass drum   and me agganciavo and giravo with the Elmer Fudd hat   and the shoes of my father." "And giravo for the neighbourhood beating on the drum and singing the Beatles." "When very most young I was sure to become a rock-star." "There were no problems, perch?" "cos I was?" "hyperactive e. .." "... the world was in my hands." "I could do everything." "I could become President, if I wanted." "But it was stupid idea." "Better to be a rock-star." "I do not understand my environment, What I attendesse." "The alienation that I would have tried by teenager ... because ...?" "saw as Aberdeen any other town of America." "I thought they were all equal." "All agree, and without the instead there was violence." "It would have been easy   and I believed that the U.S. had not most of my large garden." "Then there would be been problems   to turn the whole country playing in a group   and appear on covers of magazines." "I had an early preparation   but when I started to have depressive attacks to 9 years   I stopped to see her in that way." "I think that my generation is the last generation innocent." "The TV was not violent, there was the 'cable'." "We had 'Sesame Street', 'Speed Racer' is stuff here, and go on." "Everything was imaginary." "Everything was ... basic medieval ..." "compared with today." "Children are required to be pi?" "ahead of what are really." "Venivo always sculacciato." "My father ... species outside ... the restaurant ..." "if versavo something by mistake   I was running his head between the knuckles ..." "or gave me a slap." "I have never managed to understand how   a parent could be cos?" "imbrazzato   what?" "intimidated by what could others think about you in a restaurant   just because?" "your son has overthrew something by mistake   as for having to punish the accident." "It 'a bad joke psychological to play a child   because ... still inside affondo me if something other side." "I arrabbio much with myself." "Why?" "Have been preconditioned not to commit human error." "Everything must always be perfect." "Go to fanculo for this." "His work in practice was run all day to count trunks." "His idea of activity?" "Father-son was bring to work Saturday and Sunday   and I restavo sitting in his office while he was out to count trunks." "Bel weekend exciting!" "I did and disegnavo jokes telephone." "Then I went in the store where were stacked the 2x4." "They were very high and there I played in 'guards and thieves'   or was pretending to be Superman or other super-heroes." "That was the highest fun as possible." "Then slept a little 'in van listening to the disc of Queen   "News of the world" and repeating scaricavo battery of the van." "Capitava often remain on foot perch?" "too had heard the Queen." "I do not feel that they have had a true father." "I never had a father figure with whom to share things." "It 'hard to keep memories the first of 7 years   and that was the time where I lived with him   and it was my pap?" ".." "I had a mother and a father   and after I lived with him for a short period   dopodich?" "si?" "married and I have become   one of the things less important on his list." "If I were in that situation with Courtney and Frances   I will do all for my whole life, to stay in touch with Frances   and maintain relations with you   and share things with you   him?" "only surrendered." "I just want him to know that I did not pi?" "nothing against him." "I do not want to talk perch?" "Not I have nothing to share with him." "I am sure that the sconvolgerei, but things are so?" "All my peers are interrogarono at the same time:" ""When the cock divorce my parents?" "What happens?" "... ... are the divorziando parents of all my friends "" ""Something does not go."" "For some reason, the way in which our parents have grown   is not the right way." "They scazzato, in some way." "They lived in a imaginary world   then must have something wrong." "They divorced, had to deny the oaths, as did my mother   had to start to drink in 30 years." "And, confused, have ended up scazzare in educating their children adolescents ... because ...?" "not have understand what they need." "All my friends are put this question   when they were 7 years   and is not the Children for ask these things." "But ... was like a scourge ... a disease." "My story?" "Equal to 90% people of my et?" "Same problems." "They made the canes to school ..." "They are grown in the years the 'Communist threat'   and all thought that we would deaths in a nuclear war   and there was always the most violence in our society?" ".." "... and the reaction?" "equal for all." "I do not believe that our version 'music' for us?" ".." "... is different from those of the other groups emerged in the same years." "I do not believe that we are most 'special'   in having suffered the same damage." "E 'equal." "But we received more interest perch?" "our songs are orecchiabili   and remain in the headlines of the people." "In gymnastics, third in average, I was jumping with the rope   and suddenly I ceded his back   and I had to go to the hospital ... because ...?" "not respiravo and seemed to be broken." "It was un'ernia disk   and went from chiropractor   and discovered to have scoleosi." "I should have worn a bust, but I did not want   and it emerged that playing guitar had contributed   to increasing scoleosi." "He had done bending of pi?" "his back ... because ...?" "weight of the guitar weighed on my left shoulder." "What?" "Yet most warped." "I have always had a pain." "Not me have never imagined." "Provavo a pain constant." "Probably in my head   I bartered the pain back to the stomach." "Once started stomach pain, were cos?" "so most acute   I did not pi?" "thought to my back for a long time." "I have always believed to have schizophrenic tendencies ... because ...?" "I was always cos?" "nervous ..." "I had all these nervous habits." "There were riots compulsive that I had." "Scrocchiarmi fingers, grattarmi the face, toccarmi hair, I had the all." "It was a mixture of my hatred towards people ... because ...?" "did not meet my expectations   and of being fed to attend always the same idiots." "Each copy Exact other." "I read in my face they do not sopportavo." "It was a personal vendetta, perch?" "were cos?" "'macho'   and male ..." "and stupid ..." "I started to realize that people notavano   my hatred a lot of people   and my acquaintances took for granted that not sopportassi   and I was always irritable   and then I started to feel ..." "really ... neurotic   paranoid ... because ...?" "knew that I could erupt at any time." "I was seen as the boy who would probably brought an AK-47 at school   and would have done outside all." "Would it not have been strange   if I had found at least one boy with her hair extravagant." "There was also A punk-rocker!" "I wanted to 'feel part', but not the average for teachers." "Not with the boy pi?" "People of the school." "I wanted to be with strambi, but they were 'sub-strambi'." "For Aberdeen, there were ..." "strambi ... in the media." "There were the alternative, were simply 'deformed'." "Fortunately I found a gay friend   I imped?" "if you would kill all the time." "It seems all knew was gay   but nobody told me ..." "or not I realized ... until ...?" "there prov?" "with me, one evening .  and I said to him the theatrical that I was not gay   but that would be remained his friend." "After I realized that I watched people   so yet most bizarre than usual." "Then they started bersagliarmi to ... some boys ..." "Gymnastics species." "It felt threatened, perch?" "were naked   and I, for them, I was gay." "Then or covered penalties or beat me." "Or both." "But after I started to feel proud to be gay   although less." "I liked the conflict." "Exciting." "Why?" "I almost found my identity?" "I was a strambo 'special'." "Not really punk-rocker I was looking for, but   at least it was better to be strambo an average." "Once my mother scopr?" "I did the reeds   and prov?" "various psychological approaches   for me to stop   but took dell'erba among the jewels   and I sometimes furtively it staccavo a small piece   and the rimpiazzavo with oregano." "Right?" "Who had a bag of oregano between jewellery." "One evening invite?" "Me and my friend Myer to fumarci a cane   and you knew that it was oregano   but we did not know who knew   then we tocc?" "stay I?" "fumarci to the oregano." "But not fumavamo never together." "The only other memory My mother and the reeds   was when I was a parcel of 'Hard Aberdeen Buds'   scattered on the table   and I sat with a festino Myer and a couple of friends   and we were making games with alcohol and reeds   type with a game 'bonghi'   and you sal?" "about drunk and odious   and this had with me, that evening." "Begin 'to do fessa." "Sal?" "Up and I fiss?" "With chilling look   and stacc?" "a big piece of grass and ingoi?" "It was foreign-made ..." " "She has told me that story ... "" "What?" "Learn." " "Th?"" "There was a teacher   that students appreciated with interesting stories." "He taught English   and I wrote stories crazy, often offensive   and loved her." "I trattenenva after the lesson   and we talked for hours." "It was strong." "The only other prof." "I liked was to   'Artistic commercial' in the first and fourth." "He had me of great help." "I always utiliazzava as an example   and always sent my works of art competitions   in different states   without telling me anything   without my permission   I liked that type of competition   and then it was behind my shoulders and after I gave the awards I had won." "My family was sure that I went to a school of art   but at that time I was cos?" "taken from Punk-rock ..." "I wanted to play in a group instead." "I had offered two scholarships   but I did not have any intention to accept them." "I had decided gi?" "years from the beginning." " "And what comport?" "This, in the family? "" "I have suffered thrown out." "Not so perch?" "Did not want to study   rather perch?" "I was not doing nothing with my life." "I had ambitions ... the second ..." "My parents   but I had." "I was immersed in music   and trying desperately to form a group." "They, for?" "not saw as important." "Not just taken the guitar it became so?" "obsessed   and for me there fissai cos?" "many years   every day for a few hours, in the evening   before you sleep, the guitar was the only thing did." "I wanted to make Punk-rock for a long time ... because ...?" "I was a subscriber "Creem Magazine"   then I I was in the room   to make pretend Punk-rock sound   or what I was Punk-rock, guitar." "At the end?" "Similar." "It 'just noise." "Noise 3 agreements made by   and screams ..." "I felt that the Punk-rock could be this." "When I moved once from Aberdeen to Montesano   which is 30 Km from Aberdeen   a village Size-wood   I knew Buzz Osborne [ndt -- the 'Melvins']  whom I pass?" ".." "... a little 'compilation of Punk-rock of   on tapes made by him." "I wanted us some days to assimilate   wanted me pleasure   it was like another world   suddenly felt stuff from another planet ..." "I felt like ..." "if speaking   so the most clear and realistic of the usual texts Rock 'n Roll." "By the end of the week   I was a 'self-declared Punk rocker-Journal '..." "I cos?" "Pleased   that I approached the Punk-rock at that time ... because ...?" "I said that those years I used to grow   and to make fire my values   and what kind of person I am." "In reality?" "become Punk-rocker   aliment?" "my self-esteem ... because ...?" "Help me?" "understand that not 'I had' become a Rock-star   not 'wanted' become Rock-a star   instead?" "not 'can' diventarla ... because ...?" "I lack the balls." "So I'm always conflicting   with these positions   swings yet to not importarmi, not wanting and not power   still trying to affermarmi with others." "I knew to do something special   to have something to offer   and I knew that I would have had the opportunity?" "to show people ..." "I could write ..." "beautiful songs   or at least contribute something, musically." " "When you Krist met? "" "I remember having seen in high school   a little 'times   and that it wanted certainly know." "But I have not ever seen, if not in meetings." "Partecipava always somehow "skit"   and it was just a type intelligent, beautiful and burst." "It was blatant that I I wanted to form a group   and find people with which to play   while Krist did not want." "So I did the demo "Fecal Matter" with Dale [ndt " " Crover "Melvins"]" "trying to Krist to make you feel   what not decided never to do   Finch is a day pass?" "by me and told me:" ""I finally heard your tape." "Not?" "Evil." "We are a group. "" "It was the hour!" " "So the group begin?" "cos?" "You had never done a jam together? "" "When did cover of Creedence Clearwater   did Jam in the big house   from Krist in Aberdeen   which was very big." "It was freddissimo a Met?" "winter   and in the walls you saw the holes from which passed the air." "Then I found work   the "Polynesian Resort"   leaned over." "It was a shit." "The hated." "But could not work more than time ... because ...?" "mainly   spazzavo the chimneys of each Chamber of   and therefore could not know where I was ... during my ..." "8 hours daily." "Often   no one was using the fireplace   then I pulivo some fireplace   correvo in here and I?" ".." "... and then slept for a few hours   and watched TV." "Just a beautiful job!" "Unfortunately, it insospettirono ... and began ..." "monitorarmi to   and I beccarono." " "Since?" "Cos?" " " Th?" "I have always been extremely lazy ... especially at work." "Not?" "Work in s?" "And 'try to stay away from other colleagues." "I have always had a terrible ... relationship with ..." "colleagues." "I do not own agree with   people in the media." "I give nuisance." "I give the cos nerves?" "time ..." "I can not ..." "to ignore them." "I must face   and tell them that the hatred   or not even speak." "For almost all winter   I did not have a place to live." "Dormivo on sofas people   or in a box the veranda of Dale." "Anywhere." "It was ganzo, perch?" ".." "... was convenient ... sleep on ..." "sofas people ... because ...?" "finivo for buy beer   and that night bevevamo   and restavo I?" "that night   and the day after I was from another party." "Facevo tour the houses of all." "After a couple of months for?" "I was not the most welcome   and I was in misery." "Dormivo often under a bridge   and was also one of winters most coldest weather memories." "A cold bestial." "I remember that walking all day without goal   and finivo always in the library." "C'ho past agonize   read   waiting for the end of the day." "I was proud of me   to be able to survive   without a job." "I was living the life by Punk-rocker." "Version Aberdeen." "It was pretty easy." "Nothing compared to that that happens to the children   fleeing in big cities?" "Chiedevo continuously to my few friends   to move with me in Seattle." "I wanted to go in Seattle ... because ...?" "there was life." "But none wanted to go   and alone I was afraid." "I was in poverty?" "pi?" "total   always somewhere small and sudicio." "For?" "Was fun." "I was a bachelor for the first time." "All alone." " "Your mother said that you were happy when you trasferisti in that place. "" "Well, perch?" "Had a group." "I felt independent." "I remember   that years ago   I asked Eric Shilinger:" ""How could success have a group   if incrociasse the 'Black Sabbath 'with' Beatles'?" "What would be?" "I want to do all types of music." "I want to do a little ' such as Led Zeppelin   but move from Punk-rock extreme ... the songs ..." "insulse. "" ""It seems to me impossible ... because ...?" "nobody would understand ?" "the same group. "" "At that point understood that We had a unique style." "I do not think that we were quite original." "I asked many people   and we thought often." " "E 'interesting perch?" ".." "many people ..." "to which I ask   'Not surprisingly Kurt in that period ?" "'... meet ... 'I Not a fregava cock of what we thought the other '. "" "No." "We certainly thought that that people would have thought   my music ... because ...?" "knew that   in order to do ci?" "I wanted ..." "I had to get ..." "a base of fans." "I would not have used these terms at the time." "I do not understand how does the music   and as you pull on the public." "We began to do what seemed to us   at all costs   and there fregava a cock if not liked   even if trying to accontentarli beginning   to see what happened." "Oh, I just mentioned our first concert." "It was at a friend's house of Erin, in the woods." "What fun!" "They were all so?" "afraid of us   who hid by us in the kitchen." "We had taken all the rest of the house." "There were 50 toxic   hidden in cooking ... because ...?" "did cos?" "much noise ... cos we were ...?" "drunk   Dolly and Tracy [?" "] pomiciavano   and I saltavo above the table and I accarezzavano." "We are aware ridiculous." "Obviously, by late in the evening   most of the girls present   were convinced their engaged in stonfarci ..." ""It 'time to make the suitcases and disappear, boys! "" "Divenni obsessed by turtles   and bought 5 or 6   and put in a bathtub bath in the living room." "They are very docile." "Do not move, not show feelings." "I cos?" ".. inanimate." "I'm the idea most stupid for a pet." "They are the exact Unlike dogs." "Do not hate dogs." "They try too get pleasure   and you can do everything." "I like cats and animals that require attention." "Of which you must take care   and that in return have a attitude of 'vaffanculo'." "'They are locked in a bathtub, I'm from disgusting   you hate and I esibir?" "for you '." "Those shells are not of great help." "They are sensitive and if there peaks feel pain." "Not?" "That much protection one imagines that one." "They can fall back break and die." "I always liked go to Olympia ... because ...?" "was a wave of culture." "There was a real 'scene'." "Something unique   that could not be find elsewhere in the United States." "For three years I was gone a lot of a school   on weekends to see groups   and stay with friends." "I began to go out with this girl, Tracy   and we put together   and we moved along with Olympia." "I found there in this town .." "... with all the attention to art." "I lived for the first time in a town with culture." "It was an experience magnificent." "I felt relieved." "Everyone seemed to share the same ideals   and the same reasons." "It was a community?" "of 'strambi'." "Students were outcasts   even from the world Punk-rock of   but listened strange stuff   and were influenced from 'The Shaggs'   and the 'Velvet Underground'   and the 'Garage Rock'." "I had to thank the 'K Records'   and new music I was introduced   as the 'Vaselines'   and a lot of European music, especially British   as the 'Young Marble Giants'   and the 'Clean axe' [?" "]." "I did accorgermi   which were years   not ripensavo to my childhood." "I had tried to remove it." "I did reconsider and draw good memories." "Reminders of innocence." "So I made tatuare the symbol of 'K Records'   to remember childcare." "To remember remain child." "It was become a utopian place   where all scopavano you   and there were events improvised   where groups played stranissimi in places   come on the scales of corridor of a building   or somehow alley." "Everything was oriented towards the 'community'." "Everybody gave a hand with each other   and played with everyone groups of the other." "Their goal is not was the success   or do disks   or go to tour." "They were satisfied if played between them." "Inventavano groups   which were not real groups." "They were jam with friends." "But I'm not there integravo well with them ... because ...?" "tuttosommato   were boring." "One of the things fiche   type bohemienne Olympia   was that there were festivals   where none drank or drogava ... but took ..." "the coffee?" ".." "... and a rose and esibiva." "Andavo to these festivities   and not happening nothing." "All I?" "Seating   hear the music   while I optavo for ascoltarmela alone." "I lived in my world art imaginary   in Aberdeen   and I did the same to Olympia." "Not?" "That a aimed at Olympia   I was blossomed and had begun to attend the rounds   and to participate in cultural life   but traevo benificio ... standomene anyway ..." "on the sidelines." "Restai a Monaco." "I have always cos been?" "Still Closed at home." "Passavo week without leaving home." " "What do you Tracy thought   this your closure from the world   without doing anything? "" "There has never been conflicts between us ... because ...?" "knew that I would be was equally happy   a car or live in in a sub-step." "The few times that propose I cercassi a job   rispondevo:" "'Now I go   and I'm going in the car. '" "And then replied: 'No, it should be well." "It is well at home. '" "He had just one maternal character." "He had to take care of things and people." "It was in four   to spend on me." "Andavamo shops   and if there was something I wanted   and I did not have the money   I would have preferred not take it   but she took and the then taking me out to dinner." "It was thick." "This me feel guilty ... because ...?" "ate often outside." "I was always looking for someone who was' artistic '  with whom I can share things' artistic '  and with you was impossible." "So, together, did   things to husband and wife." "Activities?" "Typical of torque American Media   as shopping, ... and eat." "I had a strange ... attraction ..." "Magnetic ... for flies." "The flies attracted me." "I svegliavo the morning   and these flies me kept awake for hours." "Ronzavano and I rimbalzavano on the face." "I attacked   continuously and ?" "always been so?" "In summer, once, while living with Tracy ... every morning ..." "I bombardavano   and decided to attack moschicida paper   but it bought $ 20   and are $ .50 each." "So I had, type, 40 hung above the bed." "Anywhere." "And the apartment was great." "Charter moschicida everywhere." "He is very Death-rock   have all these flies death hung." "I have always furnished my house with gusto." "I was not the type to be put 20 crucifixes on the wall." "It was always a pair, but those beautiful." "I did a lot of artistic stuff at that time ... how to take ..." "models of skeletons   and ricoprirli clay   making them become small dolls." "Then the vestivo." "Scioglievo candles and we I did scenes of nativit?" "Roba ridiculous." "Copiai a lot cassette   and the spedii to all labels I would think   with small gifts inside   or letters." "Condoms used   with ants inside." "Formichine plastic." "Coriandoli." " "This was for find a label ... "" "Th?" "I have sent to 'Touch and Go'   a 'SST'   to 'Alternative Tentacles'." "At all." "A 'Touch and Go' will avr?" "send 20." "It was the label that I wanted most of all ... because ...?" "were the my favorite groups." "I thought that we were like   groups as 'Scratch Acid'   and 'Big Black'   and the 'Butthole Surfers'." "Three of my Favourite groups." "At that time the Hardcore had died   was quite the Speed-metal." "Odiavo that shit." "And the only solution   was to do stuff cheerful or new-wave as did at the beginning." "The 'Scratch Acid' I cos liked?" "time   was perch?" "their songs were a pop and very simple   you took us   as a piece of 'Aerosmith', scombussolato but ... and ...?" "why did." "What I wanted to do." "I had developed Krist a hatred for Seattle   and for the people of Seattle   simply ... for our need ... of 'not belonging'." "There were never felt part of something   and suddenly be accepted in a 'scene'   or one company?" "would not be normal state, for us." "So we in costruivamo head these things   and we talked always evil in Seattle." "It was cos?" "Degrading be seen   as a guy Aberdeen that played rock   and that he did not know even the 'wipers'." "Then they listened 7 years alone!" "The 'scene'?" "Was not intense as we expected   or we wanted it to be." "They are not grown in Seattle and not the 'High-bourgeois'." "I fought against this thing at all times." "People were good with us   but not ammettevamo." "We have known Jonathan [ndt " " Poneman] of 'Sub Pop' in a bar   and Krist was drunk by morning." "We met at 23:00 and Krist was drinking by 8:00." "It was sbronzo and fradicio cos?" "aggressive   which was impossible to speak business with Jonathan ... because ...?" "Krist it was aimed and pull rutti   and ran shooting to scream something to customers in the bar." ""What you have to look cock!"" "With his vociona." "He realised ridiculous." "It was buffissimo." "One of the things most funny that I have ever seen." "Jonathan was ready to get up and leave." "I do not recall even if we found an agreement, that day." "Krist was too disruptive." "Do not made anything." "I believe that the influence of 'Sub Pop' and what we tried to do   we did think about what to do ourselves." "Acoltavo the individual of 'Mudhoney'   and stuff of that kind." "I think we influenz?" "In 'strip' our style   and write a pop song." "We had pop songs." "There were many things we wanted to do   we wanted to experiment and vary   with the hard 'Bleach'   but there was cos?" "so pressure from Sub Pop   which was not fig   do if you were a pop Punk-rock group   and I wanted to mix the two things." "But I was intimidated ... by the possible ..." "reaction of the public   if I had done the stuff a little 'pop." "I had done so?" "Load   philosophy bohemienne musical revolution   Having lived in Olympia   that I started to prove resentment." "I wanted that people do not cos take?" "cock seriously." "All seem in dell'Utopia search ... in the scene ..." "Underground   but there are so?" "many factions   that if we do not can unirne   even a couple   and to make them stop bisticciare on each smallness ... on which no I disagree   then as cock claim to have an effect on the masses?" "Well, my group was in a situation   in which we expected that combattesse in a revolutionary   against the machine of corporate." "And I thought:" ""How dare cock a dispute cos under pressure? "" "E 'stupid." " "Tell more about that when sapesti gave 'Love Buzz' on the radio   and that while expecting guidavi that the mandassero   and finally you have approached   and you have called the station, you requested the song   and you had to wait in machine that mandassero ... because ...?" "were for losing the signal. "" "S?" "I remember." " "As was to hear Your piece on the radio? "" "Fantastic." "I did not believe that would be never arrived at that point." "I thought I had a group and that would have done a demo." "But my feeling piece on the radio   was more than what was wondering." "Great." "It was like having success immediate and fame   well beyond my hopes   or my voluntary?" "But at that level   once had a taste, I thought it was ganzo   and that I wanted to hear   My other recordings on the radio." "Managing to pay the rent   with this group would have been wonderful." "We were poor." "Prendevamo $ 30 a night   if played." "But we saw for the first time the U.S.   and we were a group   and guadagnavamo enough to survive." "It was fantastic." "Great." "Libert?" "Total." "I did not believe that there would be could go better than what?" "The rest of my life would have been playing   and turn for the premises   and interview any time my pieces on the radio   and live in a apartment." " "After a short called by all these corporate brands   and you were served and revered by all. "" "We were pretty good   with the labels and we brought to dinner   two, three times." "It was that we wanted." "I remember went to Capital ... because ...?" "was cos?" "disgusting   who finished for go   met?" "meeting." "There was enough of a taste their radio programmer." "A type Texan." "It seemed ready to stonfare someone." "God, that fear." "He asked me:" ""Well." "That Song 'Polly'   you're beating, the stronza? "" "I replied:" ""Absolutely."" "Then came two other big radio programmers   and said: "We Tickets for the Lakers! "" "It lifted all in feet to rejoice." "Capimmo that was not the tag for us." ""Friend ..." "let us not kid ourselves." "We want to become the star! "" "To tell the truth?" "That we wanted to hear ... because ...?" "not at that point believed to have opportunity?" "A band almost Alternatively, shit from anybody." "Pensammo the idea of 'have an impact'   from commercial   and did not appear   what?" ".." "As unreal ..." "a year earlier." "All that quell'inverno I passed along and Dave   in that small apartment   was the period pi?" "depressing of those years." "It was cos?" "Fottutamente small and dirty   and cold and gray." "Every cock day ..." "I almost ..." "the madness." "I do not reggevo." "I was cos?" "Bored   and cos?" "poor." "There were months that we had signed with 'Geffen'   and we did not have a penny." "We had to commit the amplifier and TV   just to have the money to buy the Corn Dogs." "He was having stranissimo signed with this ... corporation ..." "multi-milionaria ... and be ..." "completely green." "I was tired of live in Olympia   without anything to be done." "The place had not pi?" "nothing to offer me." "I need to relocate." "Of go to Seattle." "Usavo much heroin." " "What mean by 'much'?"" "Mah once ..." "per week." "I do not know none." "Once I called Krist   as a fact and I told him I drogavo ... and ...?" "worried." "He and I Shelley drew   to tell me what I love   and who do not want I droghi." "It 'been a nice gesture." "My stomach for?" "was getting worse." "I noticed during n'ero American tour ..." "They are heartburn, nausea   the worst sore stomach imaginable ... and it hurts." "I feel a heart in stomach and suffer." "I feel that?" "inflamed in a region." "Towards Met?" "meal   when the food arrives Dov '?" "inflamed   begin the pain." "Why?" "Food us is laying above." "Burn." "I managed to ..." "go forward." "It happens often while I eat   that I suffer a lot but no one notices ... because ...?" "I broke to complain." "In tour happens cos?" "often ... because ...?" "I have no choice not me my facts   while others have no idea that I am suffering like a dog." "Towards Met?" ".." "... the European tour   remember   having said that I would not have pi?" "toured until?" "not risolvevo this thing." "I wanted to kill, spararmi head   from what I had stew." "I can not cos live?" "I was become   a schizzato neurotic." "I was destroyed psychologically   and I mental problems ... because ...?" "had pain Chronic daily." " "When he was, this? "" "For the last 5 years." "I arrived in point   in recent two tour   I did not know how I would have never done so to make others." "But ... since I started drogarmi I had the most pain." " "How did you know Courtney? "" "I have known both time ago in Portland   at one of our concerts." "It was a quick meeting." "The said a sticker ... parlammo ... and a little '." "I seemed, type, Nancy Spungen." "The resembling." "It seemed a classic pupa Punk-rock." "I felt a little ' attracted to you   I wanted to sweep that night ... but ... and?" "forth." "I wanted only   a little 'more than emotion in my life." "I had never no known   what?" "jerk and charismatic." "She is a magnet for exciting events." "Although passeggiavamo in the street together ... spuntava someone who ..." "assaliva us with a knife." "Without reason   just because?" "seems that type of person   that attracts these things." "I felt a rebel ... because ...?" "there went around   to buy drugs   a sweep against a wall   and stuff of that kind." "Facevamo rows in public, both for the sake of it." "Both perch?" "Entire people of a table if it was mogia to eat." "It was so I divertivo   and it was fantastic interpret this role   with a person who suddenly rose up   and destroyed a glass on the table   and I urlava against   and I buttava on earth." "Really fun." "Krist is the kind that makes things but in return wants the glory." "It must take the reins." "It must receive all the attention." "I do not?" "Permit be nice   at his own level." "I do not ever see my humor   when I'm with him." "This perch?" "Do everything not to react if it happens." "I do not think I have ever did laugh out loud   and I know that it is capable to make people laugh." "Courtney do the always laughing   and I feel comfortable in being sympathetic with you   and with Dave and other friends." "But with Krist c '?" "Some strange barrier that separates us." "We have always had enough respect   to understand   what the ferisca feelings of others   and what are the defects personalit?" "both   that give us discomfort in so that we do not quarrel." "We have not ever offended one another   not perch?" "us cos we want?" "well   but both see the other as hypocritical   with elements that disprezziamo." "For the good of the group, does not make sense." "Once you are the money arrived   I understand what I was pi?" "under pressure from the other   and I accruing Various' of pi?" "I am the singer and Articles are on me." "I have to suffer all the pressure." "And then I must also deal composition of the pieces   and I am also good if the others are recognized   but I expect at least one Financial greater recognition." "This was a big ... problem with him and Dave." "Credevano honestly to earn   a credit equal to mine." "I stronzate." "Stronzate totals." "I was ready to dissolve the group for this thing ... we do not believe." "Often it is a nihilistic idiot ... fottutamente sarcastic   and others are very vulnerable   and sincere." "And?" "Cos?" "I are the songs." "It 'a mixture of these things." "And?" "Cos?" "That are many people of my et?" "A minute sarcastici are   and another are apprensivi." "They are still with the Monitor things that I gave annoyance years ago." " "I'm not necessarily personal things   but also rapes, violence ... "" "S?" "I am posted everything." "So all these songs   speak of my battles against things that make me posted." "And is the theme of the album." "Of all my albums." "They say all the same thing." "What I have this conflict   between good and evil   man and woman   people who do things cruel to other people without reason." "And I want them beat blooded." "Here's the point." "The only thing I can do, instead, ?" "scream into a microphone." "Once I read an article about me:" ""Cazzo, qu?" "Seem   a depressed person   and emotional, sudden changes in mood. "" "And the author said to me:" ""But the six."" "And I:" ""No." "I do not have!" "I like fun, every so often. "" "And 'all that I see as an emotional disaster." "Like a dark star." "A negative." "People I always accuse   to be bad mood ... and ask me:" ""What?"" "And I have absolutely nothing." "I'm not GI?" "I arrived to the point that ... dovermi look ..." "in the mirror   and try to understand cos'?" "that sees people." "I thought, "Maybe I should shave the eyebrows." "It might help. "" "Me asking continuously." "I went in a room   a couple of months ago   and a boy, cos?" "asked me:" ""Christ, Kurt, but perch?" "Seems you are always angry? "" ""I'm not angry!" "I am happy now." "Piece of shit! "" "'C'?" "Something wrong?" "Are you sad?" "'" "Many people believe that if the watch and not sorrido   I mean run balls." "I effort to show I'm enjoying." "Generally I always fun, and are almost never depressed." "And 'most easy cos?" "Opiates me always procured ... that security ..." "bramavo that   in which no hated cos?" "both people." "I could try of affection for them   or at least look beyond the superficialit?" ".." "... of their personalit?" ".." "... and think about them as real people." "Maybe had problems of childhood ... or ...?" "their environment that makes them so?" "In short, in order to appease the animosit?" "that nutrivo towards the people." "I needed to do so ... because ...?" "I was tired of cos hate?" "both the people   and to be always so?" "Critical against them." "I know it seems that I defend my use of drugs." "Sounds like an excuse." "I must make a drug-free period   if only to see things from a point of view better." "In recent months I was doing stuff for $ 400 per day   and I was notice of odd in my memory   and that sooner or later it would have affected my health." "But the truth?" "That I was pi?" "in flesh and healthy then   that now." "I said immediately that I do not pentivo." "I do not repent." "This perch?" "Used the as a means   as an anti-dolorifico." "To rid the pain." "And 'reason main." "And in that sense I do not repent." "But, any person who becomes dependent on drugs   finir?" "for fottersi life." "Unless it takes a year, we want two." "And 'cos?" "Obvious." "I have seen succeed all those who we fall." "It 'a classic." "'The drugs are evil and you fotteranno. '" "I knew that I would have stopped sooner or later   and marry and have a daughter   is a very good incentive." "But many do not ce have." "Then a rich Rock-star milionaria   and I both be considered." "I have a lot of reasons for not drogarmi   but many people who will influenced by my drogarmi   will be people with a job normal that already?" "make fatigue." " "It seems you should say that goes well if you droghi you ... "" "I know, in fact." "And 'why I have to move forward." "I say that sooner or later   if I had continued drogarmi to   I would have lost everything." " "What attracts you to these models' transparent '? "" "I do not like puzzles, but I like the idea that unmount them." "I fascinate the casings and bodies." "How it works." "Often spoiling." "But?" "Difficult to think that a person   can enter stuff harmful as drugs and alcohol in his system   and that the body the bear." "For a while '." "But that little '?" "astounding." "God, it has been incredible." "One of the things most amazing." "Especially perch?" ".." "... was not a photo, was a video   and we saw move." "It was the first time that we heard it was a living creature." "Incredible." "We saw the heart beating." "And the first thing that has done with your hands  ?" "been the greeting metal with horns   waving his arm." "If n '?" "Also noticed the pediatrician   and us: "What?" "sign of the devil, Doctor. "" "Some days I feel most paranoid than usual   but now what?" "born Frances are not pi?" "Yes?" "Simplified everything   in recent years   since I real relations of friendship   with real friends   with the group ever most famous   and then find a person I love has solved many problems." "It 'very exciting, perch?" "what I always wanted." "E '... ideal." "It is better to me, probably ... because ...?" "I find myself in a situation most stable than Courtney." "Find many difficulties in find confidence in herself ... because ...?" "his character?" "been very targeted." "She and her group are cos?" "under examination." "It should bring out a disc incredible   only to be considered decent." "I believe that his songs are really good ... but ...?" "very difficult convince you of this." " "I think a little ' people ask   why deals affairs of her husband. "" "Why?" "I am too lazy to occuparmene." "Both would bend and put me in culo, from them." "And 'I forget always things   and c '?" "people we campaign   and I exploits." "For me to do something from management   must?" "ask 20 times." "And we bring, type, 4 months." "At the end Courntey them calls and cries in the face." "Her cries the remain in the head." "Riattaccano and think 'What whore'." "But the thing is done." "E 'for the good of our children   make sure that have money   for the next 10 years." "But we do progress." "I'm learning from her." "But often jumps suffered the conclusions ... and ...?" "his weakness." "I do not like not come taken quite seriously." "And 'the type of person seems selfish and bad   but with these things?" "very most loving me." "If we think or me is recalled   then do it." "But you?" "Always to do things for others, to buy gifts." "And?" "Always me compliments." "It 'something fantastic." " "People reads various stories on 'Vanity Fair' or 'Copycat'   but nobody thinks effect on persons to whom is happening. "" "Of course." "We are cock of characters in the comics." "Mica we have fottuti sentiments us." "And the people who think this   can the succhiarmi cock and give me $ 10   for my disc." "Li willingly take, their money." "One thing   I did not never understood  ?" "that the classic response   a celebrit?" "who complains?" ""Have you wanted a bicycle?" "Now pedal. "" "And 'us?" "That expect." "Six domain public   and everyone has the right to know everything about you." "No journalist has a cock of right to ask me if I drogo." "I am not their cocks." "If they want to ask the music and of how I write   we will." "Obviously also the ?" "related to staff   but not as people believe." "I have always After harassed   and I disagree with those who say:" ""Everyone has a right to know."" "I have the right to change that perception." "I have the right to change the way in where people think to celebrit?" "It should be changed." "Should be treated as human beings and respected in matters private." "As believe that we can take if we are ever attacked cos?" "They believe that we always scioglieremo fault of our actions." "But it would be only a 'reaction' to that that we are cock of the press." " "Have you ever thought to sciogliervi for this? "" "In continuation." "This year I left the group 10 times." "Officially." "E 'which are to the point that not I cos?" "both the group   to be affected most these consequences." "Moreover, the attacks are all against Courtney and me." "Krist and Dave should not letting a cock to do." "The other day he Krist bed in 'Melody Maker'   that would be involved a reading of poems   in England." "And?" "Monitor." ""How dare!"" "And I: "God, Krist   at least not you have defined a fucking heroin   who kills her newborn   or forget in a taxi! "" "People there smerdano continuously." "They want dirt and telling lies about us." "I do not understand." "I never tried throughout my life to do something scandalous." "I do peace." "I want picchiarli ..." "to death." "I am a firm supporter revenge." "C 'is a time and a place for violence   in every situation." "Obviously I very much to lose, now   therefore not potr?" "do so." "But I have everything else of my life." "I do not want to gain influence over in my family." "If ever I trover?" "Into misery and avr?" "lost my family   if I find myself in front the cleft face." "I have always been able to vendicarmi against those who break me." "They are the life form pi?" "that there is ruthless." "Journalists." "Think of heads cock menefreghiste and evil." "The people most cruel that I have ever known." "They are disgusting." "I have no respect for journalists." "Shit." " "Forgive me."" "But you also do other things in life." "Try to find the story inside   without inventarci round of lies." "They are the ones persons referred talking about." "Guardacaso, are 99%." "Anything we do   as live clean ... not overcome ..." "live this thing." "Why?" "There are too many cock of enemies   and we threaten too many people." "We have offended too many people." "Everyone wants see us die." "And maybe andr?" "Forward, to face them, of those pieces of shit." "They GI?" "Valicato   the limit most offensive, which ?" "attack my family." "And I could go forward for years   but there will be?" "a time when riuscir not the most to manage it." "When my daughter will?" "Enough great to understand what's happening." "Th?" "Now   maybe in 12 years legger?" "old magazines   and ask? "It 'true that there drogavate when I was a newborn? "" "Sar?" "Lasts convince   with all things that are not true." "I can not see me between 10 years   to fight still in this stupid battle." "At that hour vorr?" "Stand produce disks alone   under different names." "Why?" "Not potr most common to find pleasure, at that point." "The moment the most beautiful of a band?" "Stage the first to become really famous." "I would like to be a band that does this every two years." " "Take a step back whenever explodes? "" "Yes, cock." "The best memories I have of this are before the group of 'Nevermind'." "It was a fun." "Without that I want ?" "become a job." "What I like it or not." "It 'something that I love and would always do   but honestly   I do not like pi?" "As once ... when tried ..." "every night ..." "Imagine ..." "as it was." "Not the most as in the first two years." "Playing before a handful of people." "Load a van and go to a concert Rock." "Playing." "That privilege can not?" "play after 10 years." "Sometimes, I fall asleep   when I'm tired of persons or bored   if they are immersed in a group of people and I do not want to be   type in the back-stage   or during the tour, in general." "I sleep all day." "Prefer to be in a coma." "I would like to wake up on stage and playing   and then tornarmene in my own little world." " "Based on the assumption that everything on stage is working   and you're playing by God and everything is going to 100%   what you pass for the head?" "Are you happy? "" "It 'a mixture of all emotions that I have ever tried." "And 'everything." "Rabies ..." "Death ... and bliss absolute." "Happy as when I was a child without concerns ... that pull the stones the cops." "And 'everything." "Every song   I feel differently." "And the energy that I transmit the public." "Often I'm playing thinking to another   and, lifting her gaze Public ... I notice that are really enjoying." "And I makes happy." " "Do you believe that this group durer?" "until the next decade? "" "I do not   but it could." "It depends everything   because they are good songs." "I was surprised ... to find ..." "lately   to work as a real unit?" "We even wrote a piece 'together' ... and ...?" "coming not bad." "Typically me occupavo it myself." "But I do not know how much I can still do   with Dave, Krist and sounds of my voice and guitar." "I would like time   play with other people." "But?" "Almost impossible to find people with whom go in favour   and people ... the musically ..." "think like me." "And 'why?" "Cos?" "easy to play with Courtney." "Whenever improvvisiamo   write a great song." "E 'incredible ... because ...?" "she is a person which takes the command   and is not afraid of   be the boss." "And when you have two leaders together   everything worked well." "How I wish I could play with other people   and create something new." "I'd prefer that to remain in Nirvana." "It 'sad to think what will?" "the state of Rock 'n' Roll   between 20 years." "I feel that when the Rock will?" "esploder dead?" "the whole world." "And?" "Gi?" "Cos?" "Fried and re-fried   copied   what?" "barely alive GI?" "now." "E 'disgusting." "For the children of today are not interested in pi?" "because once, the Rock." "As the latest generations." "Now?" "Become only a declaration of fashion and identity?" ".." "... that children use to sweep and have a social life." "And at this point, I do not see really as the music could most .." "... have a for a teenager." "Useranno sounds and tones   in their machines in reality?" "virtual   in order to receive the same emotions." "And then go to a party." "There Sar?" "Machinery in reality?" "virtual   with a lot of headphones." "And potr?" "Talk to the people while listening to this machine   and then go to room and fuck and drink   but I believe above all that reality?" "virtual sar?" "a drug." "The technology we arriver?" "And there are toxic-dependent from reality?" "virtual." "Li will find dead on the sofa   for 'overdose'." "Death in general or death by overdose?" " "In general."" "E 'whole life I expect to death   as any normal person." "I thought cos?" "often   to kill for stomach pain   that I do not fregava a cock to die." "I would be fired in the head." "Both true risk die for the drugs." " "E 'sad your story?"" "No." "Not really." "There '?" "Nothing incredible   or new, if for that." "No." "I do not?" "They are the product of un'America flawed." "Think about what could have been be worse my life   if I had grown up in another place, perhaps in economic crisis." "There are endless things worse than a Divorce can happen to you." "I only ... bramato and suffered for a something that I could not have:" "a family." "A solid Unit?" "family." "After a long time, I am well." "I'm happy to share this with similar cases." "All in all,?" "Sad that two people can not   if they decide to marry and make children   at least get along." "I wonder   that persons think they love   can not Nor   do pretend, or at least have enough respect for the children   to talk to the few Sometimes you meet   where they take the children on the other." " "Kurt?"" "S?" " "You can come up?" "The then give a po 'the bottle? "" "S?" ""You'll enjoy it forget. "" "Ok." "So?" "Sad." "But there is a story my more than that of another." " "Are you a Martian?"" "I want to believe it." " "Seems like one of quesi so. "" "S?" "?" "true." " "Well ... words   good luck ... etc." "... and thanks from the depths of my heart." "I say seriously." "It 'been wonderful." "We feel soon, then. "" "Okay." " "Hello."" "Hello Michael." " "Hello Kurt."" "The interviews are Movie occurred between December 1992 and March 1993." "Almost all took place between midnight and dawn to house Kurt Cobain in Seattle, Washington." "One year after the last of these interviews Kurt Cobain is?" "Suicide." "Made by Neo666"