"I say!" "Yeah?" "What does thou think thou doing, young man?" "I'm taking it down, aren't I?" "I can see that." "Why are thou taking it down?" "That's what I wanted to know." "Orders." " Whose blithering orders?" "Well, the government's." "All signposts have to come down by order of whitehall..." "To confuse the enemy if they invade." "So, that's the idea, to confuse the enemy?" "Aye!" "Well, if I were leading, I'd leave it up, lad." "This has been pointing to the wrong road ever since Adam were a lad." "Darrowby 85." " Man yelling:" "Mr. farnon?" "Is that len hamson?" "That's right." "Len hamson here." "Maddock fall farm." "I thought I recognized the voice." "You can hear me, can ya?" "Yes, distinctly, Mr. hamson." "It's this bacon pig of mine." "Gone real moldy." "Can you send somebody out to have a look at the poor bugger?" "It will have to be tomorrow morning." "In the morning it is then." "Thank you!" "Dear, dear, dear." "Spot of ear trouble?" "Perforated eardrum." "That was len hamson." "Oh, I see." "One of his bacon pigs has gone moldy-- he'd like someone to come up and have a look at it!" "Really?" "It occurs to me, James, when you think how difficult it is usually to get these hill farmers to part with their brass, len hamson is remarkably profligate with his." "How do you mean?" " Why pay tuppence for a telephone call, when you can bellow your message across country" "He thinks everybody else is." "The prospect of spending half an hour in a pigsty with len hamson and that voice of his doesn't exactly fill me with delight." "One for Tristan, perhaps?" "My dear James, that's a thoroughly treacherous suggestion, and an extremely good idea." "Siegfried, have you got a minute?" " Yes!" "Of course!" "Now then, Tristan..." " It's this dog." "Who's?" " Bert bartle's." "Hello, Bert." " Mr. farnon." "What's the trouble?" " It's my dog." "I don't know what's wrong with her." "She's stiff as a board." " Let's have a look, shall we?" "Tristan, get a pile of old newspapers and another blanket." "Siegfried:" "Put them under her head." "Now..." "This first injection, Bert..." "Is an emetic." "It's to make her vomit." "But what on earth's happened to her?" "Do you know?" "Yes, I do." "She's been poisoned with strychnine." "2cc of pentobarbital." "Strychnine!" " It's important we should keep our voices down." "The symptoms are quite unmistakable." "How long has she been in this condition?" "I found her again' the back door naught but 20 minutes ago, and I brought her right down." "Thank you." "It's vital that at all costs we relax these muscles." "I want that vein up, Tristan, on her leg." "Bert:" "Is she going to be all right?" "I'm afraid that does rather depend, Bert..." "On how long the poison has been in her system." "Aye." "The trouble is I'm due to go over to brawton, and I won't be back till late tonight." "Why don't you leave her here with us?" "In fact, it would be better if you did." "We can keep an eye on her." "Are you sure that's going to be all right?" "Yes." "Don't you worry." "We'll do everything we can." "Telephone or look in this evening." "Where on earth could she have picked up strychnine?" "A lot of people do use it around here-- gamekeepers and whatnot." "They are usually scrupulously careful about keeping the stuff out of the way of domestic pets, not to mention children." "Whoever is responsible for this is guilty of quite criminal negligence." "I'll bet there's not one German in a million wanted to march into Poland, but they did it, didn't they?" "Just 'cause one daft bat with a Tash told them to." "Crazy." "Ooh, thank you, Mr. Tristan." "Morning, James." " Morning, tris." "Helen's at work, is she?" " Huh?" "Oh, yes." "Tonight's the night." "You have warned the good woman we could be late getting back?" "Of course I have." " Tonight's what night?" "Hello, siegfried." "We didn't see you creeping about." "I thought you didn't." "But I'm not creeping about anywhere." "I'm strolling through my house in a perfectly relaxed and civilized fashion." "As opposed to drifting around it like a limp balloon, which is your usual method of locomotion." "You were saying about tonight?" "Oh, didn't I tell you about it?" "You know, I don't believe you did." "It's not really your sort of thing." "In that case, what sort of thing is it?" "It's a memorial service." "A memorial service?" " Yes, at the church tonight." "You're going to church deliberately, and of your own volition?" "Yes." "James and I. Isn't that right?" "Oh yes, absolutely right." " Wonders will never cease." "And of what precisely is this service in memoriam?" "The darrowby bellringers." "They can't all have perished at one fell swoop." "Not the members, the society." "I'm finding increasing difficulty following this." "It's perfectly straightforward." "The vicar has announced that the church bells must only be rung in case of enemy invasion." "There doesn't seem much point in having a bellringing society with no bells to ring, so we're disbanding until after the war's over, and there's this service to mark the occasion." "You don't say?" "It's a pity you're on call tonight." "You could have come along." "I should say it's going to be a..." "Pretty moving occasion really." "In fact, very moving indeed." "♪ hang out the washing on the siegfried line ♪" "♪ 'cause the washing day is here ♪" "♪ whether the weather may be wet or fine ♪" "♪ we're gonna rub along without a care ♪" "♪ we're gonna hang out the washing ♪" "♪ on the siegfried line ♪" "♪ if the siegfried line's still there... ♪" "Tristan:" "One more time!" "Evening, Mr. herriot." "Hello, Mr. adamson." "How are you?" "I keep battling on, you know." "Can I buy you a drink?" " No more for me, thanks." "You'll have me talking to gas-lamps on the way home." "How's old nip keeping these days?" "He'll see me out, all right." "Come on." "You're good for another 20 years." "You reckon?" " Mmm." "♪ we're gonna hang out the washing ♪" "♪ on the siegfried line ♪" "♪ if the siegfried line's still there. ♪" "come along, James." "It's your round." "I've only just started this one." "Then apply yourself, James." "The lights are going out all over Europe." "From the look in George's eye, they'll be going out here soon." "Same again, George." "Right." " Thank you." "Serve me first!" "I've only got one pair of hands." "Two pints was it, Mr. herriot?" "Please, George." " After me, that is." "That's right, rob." "After you." "That is rob Benson?" " Yes." "Let himself go a bit." " Has done for about a year now, ever since he lost his wife." "I see." "He isn't one of your bellringers?" " Good grief, no!" "How did you get mixed up with this lot?" "There can't be one of them a day under 90." "It was all siegfried's idea." " Oh?" "It was the year I failed parasitology so spectacularly for the first time." "Siegfried flew into one of his rages, threatened to kick me out, then launched into a lecture about the debauched life I was leading, and how I needed an outside interest." "An interest outside the drover's arms?" "Yes." "And he knew just the thing because the vicar was looking for new blood for his bellringing group." "Here we are, Mr. herriot." " So he put my name down." "It was one of siegfried's brighter ideas," "I've always thought." "Cheers!" "Cheers!" "Hello, Mr. farnon." " Hello, Bert." "You couldn't do aught for her then?" "I'm afraid not." "Where is she?" " She's in the surgery." "Aye." "I'll take her with me." "Right you are." "She's over there in the corner." "If it's any consolation at all, Bert, there wouldn't have been any pain." "Thanks, Mr. farnon." "George:" "Come along, ena." "George:" "All right then, lads, let's have them glasses!" "This is a respectable British public house, not a New York speakeasy!" "George, you can't possibly clear us out till we have a final word from our very oldest member." "Aye." "Ah!" "Nathaniel!" "Give us a speech." "I don't know that I have the puff, lad." " Nonsense, of course you have!" "James, get a beer crate." "Come on, Nathaniel." "That's right." "Over here." "Now!" "Ladies and gentlemen, and fellow bellringers, your very best attention, please, for a few words from our very oldest member," "Nathaniel adamson, on this very, very suspicious occasion." "Please, listen to me, lads." "I'm like an old, shunted engine." "And I've only walked from there." "I'm not going to say so much." " Man:" "Jolly good!" "Not being one that is much for speechifying, but I expect to say this." "Thanks, lads." "Thanks for your company and thanks for all the many happy hours I've spent in it." "I'll say this too, things is bad, skies are black, and they'll be a blooming sight blacker before this lot is all over." "And what has to be done, has to be done." "And I know, and you know, the bells in that parish church will ring again!" "And I hope that we're all still here to hear them." "Now then, there's only one poem that I learned-- that I know, not being much of a scholar." "It goes somewhat like this" "I hope I can remember the words." ""May good ringers flourish, may bad ringers mend, may change ring in last till the world's at an end, and when we meet, may we meet..." "In brotherly love, and when we pass from here, may we meet in that tower above."" "Thank you." "♪ should auld acquaintance be forgot ♪" "♪ and never brought to mind ♪" "♪ should auld acquaintance be forgot ♪" "♪ or the days of auld lang syne ♪" "James:" "Ow!" " Tristan:" "Are you all right, old chap?" "I hurt my leg." " Matches." "Come along." "James:" "Sorry, it's difficult when I can't see." "Let's just go home." "No, James, I told you." "I want to show you the ropes." "You can show me the ropes tomorrow." "Tonight, James!" "Tonight is the night." "Tristan..." "What are we supposed to be doing here?" "I've told you." "We're here to pay our respects." "For all we know, this may be the very last time we ever see this place." "Some beastly German might just go and drop a ruddy great bomb on it." "Ah, James, the romance of the bells." "If you had ever heard me hunting through the grandside triples." "I suppose you do realize this almost certainly constitutes breaking and entering." "What was it Edgar Allen poe put it?" ""The tintinnabulation of the bells."" "What the devil does tintinnabulation mean?" "Let's go home now, please." " You know your trouble, James?" "You're an awfully nice chap at heart, but you have no sense of the poetic." "You know your trouble?" "You are also an awfully nice chap at heart, but you have no sense about at anything at all!" "It is nearly half past 12:00." "Helen will be ringing the police to see if we've been arrested, and we will be, if we get caught in here!" "Please, tris, stop messing around with that rope..." "And let's go home." "Now, come on!" "Come on!" "Right!" "What was that?" "What?" " I thought I heard something." "You're not gonna tell me this place is haunted?" "Didn't you know?" "Are you coming?" "There it is again." "It sounds like a pussycat." "Ah, there he is." "Up there on the window ledge." "What the devil is he doing in here, I wonder?" "Perhaps he lives here." "Now come on!" "We can't abandon him to his fate." "He'll never get down from up there." "He got up there." " Not necessarily." "Perhaps she was put up there." "You know how people are with cats." "We'll have to get him down." "How are you going to do that?" "I know." "I'll climb on your shoulders." "I'll be able to reach him that way." "What?" "Look, James," "I am a vet." "It is my sole mission in life to bring comfort and help to the lesser species on this planet." "Since when?" " Come along, James, up against the wall." "We'll have him down in a jiffy." " I think you're mad!" "You do know that?" " Hands together." "Here we go." "Steady now!" "Steady!" "Come along, little pussy." "Good boy!" "Good pussy!" "Come on, pussy." "James:" "Look out!" "Tris?" "You maniac!" "Now the whole town will think Hitler's landed." "You moved." " No I didn't, you did." "I think I broke my ankle." "It's a pity you didn't break your neck." "Now come on, tris." " Let me put my shoes on." "Forget about your blasted shoes." "Just come on." "Tristan:" "Oh!" "Tris, shut up!" "Morning, James." "Good morning." "How are you feeling?" "How do you think?" "My only consolation is that you look infinitely worse." "Here we are." "Gracious." "Heaven's alive." "Is it really you, little brother, or is it your gloomy shade come back to haunt us?" "Ho ho ho." "What on earth happened to you?" "I twisted my ankle a bit, that's all." "Falling off a pint pot, no doubt, at last night's service in a fit of religious zeal?" "I'll get it." "There we are." "He's generally very fit." "I won't bother to put a bandage on him, 'cause he'll only kick it off again." "If you could remember to keep him indoors until it scabs over." "All right." "How much is it?" "How much have you got?" " A tenner." "Good heavens, that's exactly right." "Thank you." "There we are." "Yes, I'll tell him." "Straightaway." "Jolly good." "Bye-bye." "Just put a pinch of these powders in his drinking water keep him isolated as he has been, and it should go all right." "Let me know what happens." "Bye." " Uh, siegfried?" "That was a Mrs. Clifford." "She wants you to pop out and have a look at her dog." "What's wrong with her dog?" " Nothing apparently, just wants him to have a check-up." "For heaven's sake!" "How many times do I have to tell you?" "If there's nothing actually wrong with the animal, just get them to bring it here." "All right, James, I suppose you better go have a look." "She was rather hoping you'd go out, siegfried." " Why me specifically?" "Apparently, you've been highly recommended by a mutual friend-- margery egerton." "Margery?" "Good lord." "Does she know margery?" "Bosom pals, apparently." "Well, as it's only a check-up, no need to drag yourself all the way out there..." "Especially as I have nothing pressing on this morning." "Well, no, James, if she did ask particularly for me," "I suppose I ought to, really." " No, that's all right." "I don't mind, really." "No, no, James." "I'll handle it." "I suppose she left an address, did she?" "Ah, yes." "What a thing to put it on." "I know where that is." "It's next door to rob Benson's." "Margery egerton still in London, is she?" "Yes, she's due back any moment, I think." "So, I suppose Mrs. Clifford might have some news for you." "What?" "Yes, it's perfectly possible." "There you are, Mr. Tristan." " Thank you." "Mr. farnon." " Thank you, Mrs. hall." "Did you hear those dreadful bells last night?" "In the middle of the night." "How about you, Tristan, did you?" "Bells?" "What bells would those be?" "Apparently, some blithering idiot rang the church bells, had half of darrowby diving for the Anderson shelters." "Really?" " Don't tell me you didn't hear them?" "You know me." "The moment my head hits the pillow..." "I think it's something to do with my having an entirely stainless conscience." "Or 12 pints of best Yorkshire." "It's good practice for them anyway." " Practice?" "In case the real thing happens." "That's one way of looking at it." "Have they any idea who this blithering idiot might have been?" "A couple of people were seen running away." "Oh, really?" " Aye." "One of them left a pair of brown shoes behind." "Vicar swears he recognizes them from somewhere." "Least, that's what he told me down at shop this morning." "Siegfried:" "Did he?" " Ah, students, I expect." "Or drunks." "Much more likely." "What time did you two get in?" "Half past 11:00." " Was it really?" "Half past 11:00." " Half past 11:00." "What time did the phantom bellringer strike?" "Just after midnight." "Who's side are you on?" "Certainly not yours." "You scared Helen half to death." "If I go under for this, James" "Tristan..." "Have I got the very thing for you and your hangover." "Oh, yes?" "Pigs again, I suppose." "You read my mind." "Yeah, len hamson is having trouble with one of his bacon pigs." "Nip out there and find out what the trouble is." "You know how much I'd like to-- there's nothing I'd enjoy more than the odd shouting match with len hamson-- but I'm afraid at the moment I'm what you might call hors de combat." "Hors de combat." "I couldn't possibly go out on a public road with this ankle." "I'd be a positive nuisance." "It looks like I'm going to have to be confined to barracks for a couple of days." "Still, of course, there's always James, and as James said not five minutes ago, he has nothing pressing on this morning." "Morning, Mr. herriot!" "Hello, Mr. hamson." "A grand day!" "I say, it's a grand day!" " Yes." "I understand you're having a bit of trouble with one of your pigs." "That's right." "Good bacon pig." "Gone right moldy." " Oh." "There's no need to shout, thou knows," "I'm not deaf!" "Did this happen suddenly or gradually?" "Right sudden like." "Shh." "Yes." "Thou knows what's wrong?" "Yes, I think so." "It seems like a ruptured bowel." "Probably got it fighting or jostling with the other pigs." "The food's leaking through the wall into the abdomen causing peritonitis." "Bad?" " Yes, I'm afraid it is bad." "Can thou do aught?" "That's the thing." "The best thing might be to have him slaughtered." "Nay, he's a good bacon pig." "He's young." "Is there naught at all thou can do?" "There are powders that I can give him, but I don't hold out much hope." "Where there's life, there's hope." "That's what I say." "Yes... right." "It's a grand day, though!" "Yes." "Yes?" "Mrs. Clifford?" " Yes?" "Siegfried farnon." " Oh, yes, yes." "Please, come in." "Thank you very much." "How do you do?" "Hello." "Mind the step." "I do hope you don't mind me dragging you out here like this." "Good lord, no, all in a day's work." "I've got no other way of getting into town myself this week." "Think nothing of it." "I'm delighted at the chance to get out of the surgery for a bit." "Would you like a glass of sherry?" "Very nice." "Thank you." "Dry or sweet?" " Dry for me, please." "Please, do sit down." "So, you're a friend of margery's, eh?" "Yes." "I was with her in London only last week." "How was she?" "Looking well, was she?" "She's fine." "She sends her regards." "Ah." "Oh, thanks so much." "Here's to your very good health." "And yours, and please do sit down." "When she is coming back north, do you know?" "I'm not sure that she plans to." "Well, certainly not immediately." "Oh, really?" "I thought she did." "She's got this job-- something rather important and hush-hush, I think, with whitehall." "Oh, I see." " I'm sorry." "Oh, no, no." "I'm only delighted she's doing what she wants." "It's this wretched war, disrupting all our lives." "Yes." "Well, I'm sure you've more important things to do than sitting here chatting with me." "I'll go bring him." "Come on, boy." "That's a good boy." "There we go." "Sit." "That's it." "Is something wrong, Mr. farnon?" " He's a guide dog." "Oh, yes, mine." "I'm sorry." "Didn't you realize?" "No, I'm afraid I didn't." " I should have said something." "No, no." "Why should you?" "Well..." "let's have a look at him, shall we?" "I'll just take his harness off." "Stay." "As a matter of fact, we were just about to go out for a walk when you arrived." "What do you call him?" " Saxon." "If he's half as fit as he looks, this isn't going to take long." "Come on, Saxon." "Come on, fella." "Come on, sit." "Sit down." "That's it." "There's a good lad." "Now, then, old boy, let's have a look at you." "I'm not gonna hurt you." "Not at all." "Let's have a look." "Let's have a look at your old eyes." "Let's have a look at your teeth, there's a good dog." "There's a good fellow." "Lovely coat on him." "I do brush him every day." " Stand up, that's it." "Good." "It shows." "He's a credit to you." "Thank you." "Eating well, is he?" " Yes, yes." "Getting lots of exercise?" "Yes." "We'll just listen to the old ticker." "There's absolutely nothing wrong there." "Your dog's in first-class condition." "Nothing to worry about." "That's all I need to see." "Oh, good." "Saxon, come here." "Come on, fella." "Come on, back." " Come on." "That's a good boy." "Sit." "Could we book him in for a regular check-up?" "Good idea." "I suggest once every three months." "That will be fine." "Now, what about payment?" "Don't worry about that." "We never charge for guide dogs." "Really?" "That's very kind of you." "Well, I must be getting back." "Thank you so much for the delicious sherry." "Thank you for calling." "Saxon, you stay." "Next time you're writing to margery..." "I'll give her your love, shall I?" "Yes, please?" "Goodbye, Mr. farnon." "Bye, Mrs. Clifford." "Saxon... come on." "Yes, come on." "Good boy." "You know my little brother Elijah?" "Elijah." " Veterinary." "Well, speak up for yourself." "He's having trouble with one of his bullocks." "Go on." "Tell him about it." "It's going down like water down a drain." "Naught funny, in my opinion." "That's right, isn't it?" "Well, go on." "Take him down to the byre and show him the damn thing." "Right." "And for God's sakes, speak up for yourself!" "Where's this bullock been running, Elijah?" "Bottom pasture." "It's pretty boggy down there, isn't it?" "Oh, aye." "Yes, it's like I thought." "I suspect liver fluke." "What?" " It's a parasite." "It thrives on wet conditions." "Can you do aught about it?" "Well, he's very weak." "We can certainly try." "I'll give you something to dose him with, then we'll see how he responds." "All right?" " Right." "I say!" "Thou's told him then, has thou?" "My brother-- he got laryngitis one Christmas, you know?" "Oh, yes?" " Lasted three weeks." "Oh, yes." "He did think he'd never get his voice back again." "He did, though." "Get on!" "Damn!" "Damn!" "Damn, damn, damn." "What's going on?" "What's going on is we appear to have a maniac running loose." "Not another one." "Yes, another one, identical symptoms." "Another what?" " Another strychnine poisoning." "The third." "We've just lost another one here." "Who the hell can be doing it?" "Obviously someone who's intent on destroying the entire local canine population." "He must be insane." "I've got no doubt in my mind about that." "I've got to get out and do what I can for this poor devil." "Will you get on to the police and explain?" "Tell them there must be some sort of general warning put out to local dog owners." "Yes, of course." " Get the local paper to put something in." "Good idea, Tristan." "Do that as well." "What I wouldn't give for just five minutes alone with whoever's behind this." "The dog that died this afternoon belonged to an old mate of yours, James." "Who?" " Mr. adamson." "Oh, no." "Really?" " Afraid so." "Darrowby 85." "I'm afraid he isn't at the moment." "Can I help?" "What are the symptoms?" "When?" "All right." "Leave him exactly as he is." "I'll come out straightaway." "Goodbye." "Not another one." "Mrs. Clifford's guide dog." "What's happening, please?" "I've just given him the injection." "Sorry." "Is it working?" "Well, I think I ought to give him another one, actually." "What are you doing?" "Just drawing it up." "Yes." "Is it working now?" "Mr. herriot, please-- - any minute now, I should think." "Siegfried farnon, Mrs. Clifford." "Oh, yes." "Please come in." "Mind the step." "Hello, James." "How's he doing?" "He seems to be settling down, relaxing a bit." "Thank the lord for that." "Um... yes." "He just wasn't relaxing." "I thought he might be going into a fatal spasm, so I gave him double the recommended dose." "A lethal dose, possibly." "Hobson's choice, James." "Well done." "James:" "Please, don't touch him, Mrs. Clifford." "Thank you." "Why don't you slip home and look after evening surgery for me?" "I'll stay on here, see how things turn out." " Yes, all right." "How was yours, by the way?" "Mrs. Clifford, I'll be away now." "Thank you for coming so quickly, Mr. herriot." "I'll show you out." " No, please don't worry." "I'll see myself out." "Thank you." "See you later, siegfried." " Right, James." "What did he mean?" " What?" "I do realize that I wasn't supposed to overhear." "What did Mr. herriot mean when he said that he might possibly have administered a lethal dose?" "I'm afraid he had no choice." "Why?" " To understand that, you need to understand the condition." "Would you try to explain it to me, please?" "Yes, of course." "The average dose for this particular barbiturate is 1/2cc for every 10 pounds of body weight." "And James estimates that he administered about twice that." "Why would he do that?" "Well, because when strychnine is absorbed into the nervous system, it greatly increases the conductivity of the spine." "Which means that the muscles become much more sensitive to outside stimuli." "And the slightest noise or touch can throw them into violent contractions." "Is that why we're speaking so quietly now?" "Yes, exactly." "That's it." "These contractions can kill a dog." "He can be asphyxiated, either by paralysis of the respiratory center or by contraction of the diaphragm." "And the barbiturates act to keep these spasms in abeyance." "If the spasms don't recur, then the dog's over the worst." "If they do, then, I'm afraid, that is that." "James decided that the dose he'd given Saxon wasn't sufficient to keep the spasms at bay, so he took a risk." "What I want you to understand is that he had to make a split-second decision, and he did what he did for the very best and soundest reasons." "I understand." "Could we possibly have a cup of tea, my dear?" "Yes." "Oh, come on, James." "Relax." "I'm sorry." "If anything happens to that dog, we'll never really know, will we?" "Whether it was the strychnine that killed it or did I kill it?" " You took a risk." "We have to sometimes." "If the situation arose again, you'd do exactly the same thing." " I don't know." "Would I?" "I'd say that depends-- on how this one turns out." "He's still asleep, Mrs. Clifford." "Tell me, is there a Mr. Clifford?" "There was." "He died five years ago." " That can't have been easy." "I always insisted on doing everything for myself, even when John was alive." "You have to, you know." "Yes, of course." "Have you always been blind?" " No, not always." "You've never married?" "No." " Why is that?" "Not that it's any of my business." "I don't know, all sorts of reasons." "I suppose basically, because I've never until now felt that strongly about anybody, at least not about anybody who felt that strongly about me." "Then anyway, even if there were someone, with this wretched war-- none of us knowing whether we're going to be living under the heel of a jackboot before long-- is this really the time to enter into any sort of permanence with anyone?" "That's the trouble with wars, isn't it?" "It makes you not want to..." "Commit yourself to anyone..." "Or anything." " There've always been wars." "Of course, but not like this." "At least, not for us." "No." "No, I suppose not." "What was that?" " I think he's coming round." "Is he going to be all right?" "Is he?" "I'm afraid all we can do is just go on waiting." "Here we are, sir." " Siegfried:" "There you are, George." "Right." "Now then, James." " Thanks, siegfried." "Tristan, there you are." "I'll give you a toast." "James herriot, victory extraordinary." "I wouldn't put it quite as strongly as that." "Of course you would, you liar." "Go on, admit it." "If you were a cat, you'd almost certainly lick yourself to death." "Come on." "We have to live with our failures." "Why shouldn't we celebrate our occasional triumphs?" "I must say I was relieved when you telephoned." "If anything had happened to that dog," "I would have blamed myself, whatever the cause of death." "He's on the mend now, entirely due to you." "So here's to your very good health." " Cheers." "I say, veterinary!" " Evening, Mr. hamson, how are you?" "Damn sight better than that bacon pig thou were doctoring." "Oh?" "I never seen a pig go down as fast." "I don't know what them powders were thou prescribed, but they were no bloody good at all." "Remember at the time, I did say they may not be very effective." "Like a walking skeleton." "I've never seen such an object." "I'll call around tomorrow and have another look." "Thou'll have a job, lad." "I got mallock to knock him up dead only this morning." "Oh, well." "Can't win 'em all." "Two pints." "Make it sharp, lad." "Right, we'll be getting back now, shall we?" "There's surely no hurry, James." "One must savor such triumphs as this." "Are you two coming or not?" " Come on, we better go." "Good night, Mr. hamson!" " Good night!" "Good night, Mr. hamson." " Elijah:" "Mr. herriot?" "Mr. herriot." "Mr. herriot?" " Yes?" "About that bullock of mine..." "Don't tell me, Elijah, you've had mallock knock him on the head, too?" "Oh, no, Mr. herriot." "Completely recovered." "It were a miracle what you did for that beast." "You couldn't raise your voice a little, could you?" "Thanks... very much." "Don't mention it." "Ending up as dog-meat, poor bugger!" "Hello, my dear." "Good morning." "How are you?" "Hello." "Come in." "Thank you." " Mind the step." "I was passing, so I thought" "I'd look in and see how the patient was progressing." "Right." "Saxon, come here, boy." "Oh, my word." "Stay, stay, stay." "Look at you, there's not much wrong with you, is there?" "Let's have a look at you." "Just have a look." "Right as a trivet." "Did Mr. herriot get my letter?" " Yes, indeed he did." "Surprising how often people don't bother to say thank you." "There have been three more cases of poisoning, I understand." "Yes, there have in the last few days, all from around here." "Were you able to save any of them?" " No, afraid not." "That's terrible." " Yes, it is awful." "So you will be very careful not to let him run free until this miserable business is over?" "Yes." "Can I give you coffee?" "No, my dear." "I've got to get James' car back." "Mine's in dock." " Saxon, sit." "Good boy." "Stay." "Good fellow." "Siegfried..." " Yes, ma'am." "Have you heard from margery recently?" "No, I haven't." "I'm not sure it's really my place to say this, but I had a letter from her the other day." " Oh, did you really?" "She's got engaged." "Oh." "I see." "I'm so sorry." "When you write back, would you give her my best?" "Goodbye, my dear." "Hello, my dear." "Been knocked down, has he?" "Shot." "He went and shot him." "Let's have a look, okay?" "Is he your dog?" "Yeah." "I'm sorry, my dear, but I'm afraid he's gone." "Who shot him?" "He did." "Him." "For nothing." "Rob Benson." " According to the child whose dog it was, yes." "It would be like him to shoot a dog he found on his land." "He's had a thing about dogs since his sheep were savaged a couple years ago." "If his sheep are being attacked, he has a legal right to protect them." "Except for one small detail." "He hasn't got any livestock at all anymore." "Hasn't he?" " You know the state he's got into." "Word is he's gone round the bend." "Got rid of the last of his animals six months ago." "Siegfried?" " Yes, James?" "Rob Benson's land is adjacent to Mrs. Clifford's cottage, isn't it?" "Yes, that's true." "Even more to the point, practically every poisoning case we've had comes from that neck of the woods." "It has to be him." "Not necessarily." "Anyway, just in case-- - what are you going to do?" "I'm gonna have a word with him, James..." "A private word." "Hello, rob!" "Hello." "Nice, soft day." "Aye." "How are you?" " All right." "They tell me you've retired." " That's right." "What on earth made you go and do that?" "It's not as if you were an old man." "I don't think I'd ever retire." "I wouldn't know what to do with myself." "End up drinking too much, I suppose, brooding myself to death." "It doesn't bear close inspection, you know, life, does it?" "Even up here amongst all this." "Keep busy, that's the trick of it." "Stuff your days with things to do." "It was you, was it, rob, who shot that little dog?" "On my land..." "I won't have no dogs on my land." "It was a family pet." "The little girl's heartbroken." "She'll learn to look after it." "Keep him off my land." "What harm was he doing, rob?" "It isn't even as if you've got any livestock up here now." "I won't have no dogs on my land." "You've heard some madman is putting strychnine down for dogs now, have you, rob?" "No." "Yes, Mrs. Clifford's guide dog picked some up t'other day-- the blind woman who lives a bit up the road." "Oh, aye?" "Of course, he's taking an awful risk-- the fellow who's doing it." "He has to buy his supplies somewhere." "Most probably locally." "And the chemists keep a pretty tight record of people they sell poison to." "If it goes on, I don't think it'll take long at all before the police find out who did it." "Well, there you are." "Some awful fools about, aren't there?" "Goodbye, rob." "See you again sometime." "Do you think it was rob, siegfried?" "I suppose we shall never know." "We certainly can't prove it." "And it's nearly a week now since we've had a case of poisoning, so perhaps that's the end of it." " Let's hope so." "Amen to that, say I." "Come in!" "Excuse me, Mr. farnon." "What can we do for you, Mrs. hall?" "Here you are, Mr. Tristan." "Try them on for size." "What are they?" " Shoes." "Where did you get them?" "Jumble sale down at church hall." "They're the pair that fellow left behind who rang the bells a fortnight ago." "Really?" "Nobody's come forward to claim them, so vicar put them in jumble sale." "I noticed I hadn't seen your brown shoes for some time, so I bought them for you." "That's very kind of you, Mrs. hall, but I hardly think they're likely to be my size." "Why don't you try them on, little brother?" "Yes, go on, tris, try them." "Well, all right." "I'm sure it's going to be a waste of time, anyway." "Ah." "Ah, no-- - let's have a look." "Well, I'll be." "Cinderella." "Good lord." "Yes, they do seem to fit." "Um, a bit tight, perhaps, but not bad really." "How much do I owe you?" " Oh, that's all right." "Don't thank me, thank vicar." "'Twas his idea." "He thought they might fit you." "Funny him thinking that, isn't it?" "And being dead right." "Uh..." "Yes." "Not bad."