"Morning." "Mmm." "What time is it?" "It's almost 8:00." "I have to get to work." "Come on." "Hey, hey, hey!" "Just relax." "Don't you think you might be jumping back into work a little bit too fast?" "What do you mean?" "After the kidnapping, I think it's a fair excuse to take a few personal days." "Maybe see someone." "What does that mean?" "Like a shrink, a counselor, someone you can talk to about the stress of what happened." "I know a guy." "It's the guy that I talked to when I came back from Iraq." "I'm fine." "What am I supposed to do?" "Stay home and cry?" "That's not what I'm saying." "It's just, you know... (DELlNDA SCREAMS)" "What?" "Damn it!" "How many times have I told you to put the seat down?" "Well, maybe you should look before you sit next time." "I hope you flushed!" "You know, if we're gonna live together, there's a couple of things we need to get worked out." "You know, that's a great idea." "Hold on one sec." "You keep a list?" "No, no." "Just a few thoughts, so I don't forget." "I was gonna bring this up before, but then you were buried alive and I didn't want to be insensitive." "What's on the list, Danny?" "You know what?" "We can talk about this some other time." "No, no, no, no." "What's on the list?" "It's silly, stupid stuff." "Like..." "Like..." "Like what?" "Like this, for example." "Lipstick on the drinking glass." "You know, you have to manually scrub that off before you put it in the dishwasher." "Ah." "What else?" "Well..." "I don't know if you grew up with maids or whatever, but you shouldn't just take off your panties and throw them on the floor." "Only I can take off your panties and throw them on the floor." "Which I'm totally available for right now." "No, I don't think so." "'Cause I have a list, too!" "Great!" "What's on your list?" "Well, I don't have it on me right now." "This is totally informal." "Anything you've got." "You can't dance." "Excuse me?" "That's just not true." "I'm a fantastic dancer." "And I..." "You look ridiculous when you dance, Danny." "It's embarrassing." "Okay, you know, I'm talking about things in the home." "This is not an opportunity for you to just bash me." "What are you talking about, "embarrassing"?" "I don't want to have this conversation right now." "No, you're the one that opened up the door here." "I happen to be an amazing dancer." "Okay?" "Maybe you just don't understand what I'm doing when I'm up there." "(SCREAMS)" "Get back here!" "You knew the seat was up." "Get back here!" "You knew the seat was up!" "Can I help you?" "Yeah, is that the Omnivu hi-rex color dome?" "No, we still use Cantek 235 D's." "You guys gotta upgrade." "Get with the times." "Yeah." "You use the rfid scanners?" "We do." "At least you got that right." "Thanks." "Mike Cannon." "Leo Pedowitz." "Are you here with the class trip?" "Yeah, yeah." "My high school offered to take a bunch of students to see UNLV, so I thought I'd come." "But you're not interested in UNLV?" "I actually got into mit early." "Just don't say anything." "For a fellow Beaver, my lips are sealed." "Oh!" "You went to mit and you're working in security?" "So, if you're not looking at UNLV, why are you here?" "I can't speak for the rest of my class, but I have no intention of going to college a virgin." "Know what I mean?" "The kid's here to get laid." "Hey, boss." "You got a sec?" "Hey." "What's up?" "Somebody just ordered the million-dollar wedding extravaganza." "What's that?" "It's a promotional thing we put together a few years ago." "I didn't think anybody'd do it." "I mean, a million bucks for a wedding?" "What exactly do you get for a million bucks?" "For $1 million, you get a fully-catered wedding for up to 300 people." "A consultant from Harry Winston comes out to help you pick out a six-carat diamond, you get massages and bathrobes, and Wayne Newton sings." "Wayne Newton?" "Mmm-hmm." "Yeah, yeah." "I know you guys had some kind of, like, a problem a little while back, but that's all in the past, right?" "No, it is not in the past." "Yeah, I know, 'cause I just got a call from his people saying he refuses to perform unless you personally apologize." "Well, then you better get somebody else." "No apology?" "I'm sorry." "Get someone else." "What's up?" "Hey." "Top of the morning." "Let me ask you a question." "Sure." "And I want you to answer honestly here." "Okay." "Do you consider me to be a bad dancer?" "In what sense?" "In the sense that I look unusual when I dance" "(EXHALES)" "Forget I asked." "You're unconventional, yes." "I mean, come on, man." "When Cowboy Troy was here and you were playing chicken with the train..." "You could have told me!" "It wasn't my place." "Besides, you never asked." "You know what?" "If it's so embarrassing, next time we're all out, guess what?" "I ain't dancing." "How's that?" "Okay." "I just don't understand." "Do you want me to teach you how to dance?" "Okay, so the black guy's gonna teach the white guy how to dance?" "No thanks." "It's not a race thing." "That's okay." "It just so happens you can't dance, I can, you're my buddy, I want to help you out." "All right?" "Ain't nothing to it, but to do it." "So get up." "No." "Come on." "No." "Let's dance." "Stop that." "Let me show you a couple of things." "Come on, Danny." "We're gonna start with up rock, right?" "Something easy, nothing too hard." "We go side to side." "Side to side!" "This is easy, this is easy!" "Then a little shoulder action." "Yeah, then you dodge over here." "(CLEARS THROAT) Hey!" "Excuse me, guys." "Stretching out." "We have a situation in the valet." "Put it up on P 7, will you?" "Yeah, just put it up on P 7." "Isn't that Jimmy "The Chin" Aversano of the Gambese family?" "He knows he's black-booked." "Denise, pull up Camera 7." "The big guy, isn't that Dino Lucci?" "Uh, and Vinnie "T-Bone"." "Why would three members of the biggest crime family in New Jersey just come in?" "Maybe they want dance lessons." "I hope that everything went okay with the private plane we sent." "Very nice, thank you." "Good, good." "(CLEARS THROAT)" "I want to talk about the cake." "Maybe we should hold off on this, Carla, till we've had a chance to discuss it further." "There's nothing more to discuss, Muriel." "There's two things I've always wanted at my wedding." "Oh, yeah?" "What's that?" "I want to walk down the aisle to Bon Jovi, Living on a Prayer, and I want a diamond-encrusted cake." "Is that such a big freaking deal?" "Honey?" "I think it's kind of cool." "You see what I'm dealing with?" "Yes." "Well, it is her day." "Uh-huh." "Uh-huh." "I'm sorry, fellas, we can't allow you entry into the hotel." "Why not?" "Without getting into specifics, you're in the black book, and we can refuse entry to anyone." "Fine." "I'd like to speak to who's in charge." "For our purposes here, that would be me, and I'm saying you gotta walk." "Okay." "No problem." "You give me my mill back and I'm on my way." "Your mill?" "(screaming) Daddy!" "(GlGGLlNG)" "I paid $1 million cash for my baby girl's wedding." "So, I guess I better speak to who's really in charge." "Right this way." "So, then." "What's the story?" "What do you mean?" "I mean, you here to rob the joint?" "Yeah." "As we speak, my guys are casing the place." "I'm here 'cause my baby girl's getting married." "Ah, that's sweet." "They don't have weddings in Jersey?" "They don't have Wayne Newton." "Besides, the Feds, they'd be all over it." "Why is that?" "'Cause of my business interests." "And that would be what?" "I'm in sanitation." "Look, I'm not here for no trouble." "Okay?" "Yeah, I want to meet Wayne Newton." "I want my daughter to have a beautiful night." "But I chose the Montecito because of you." "Because of me?" "Yeah, I heard you're a stand-up guy." "Now, who would tell you that?" "We have mutual friends out here." "They also told me you're paying too much for the sanitation." "I can help." "Maybe 3% off." "Ten." "Ten?" "Seven." "Here, take these." "They're for you." "Thank you." "Cubans?" "Cubans are illegal." "How'd you get them?" "Those?" "Fell off a truck." "Quick, I need a few annoying habits of Danny's." "I have a list going." "I can't help you." "You don't think there's anything annoying about Danny?" "I think there are about a million things, but I don't have the four hours necessary to get into it." "I'm on my way to pick up my whale." "You always have a whale." "This is important to me." "I'm turning to you as a friend." "It's not just any whale." "It's Sharkey Rosenthal." "So..." "Who?" "Sharkey Rosenthal!" "He's a legend." "He's a notorious bachelor." "Used to hang out with the rat pack." "Rumor has it that he gave this cocktail waitress 100 grand as a tip." "So, I'm sure you can understand why I'm willing to sacrifice our friendship 100 thou?" "Mmm-hmm." "I'm sure she did more than pour his drink." "(EXCLAlMS) No, please." "He's like 100 old." "(MUTTERlNG)" "Creep!" "Okay, he's not here yet." "What's on the list?" "Okay." "Great." "He's fanatical about us using coasters at home." "You don't need a coaster with stemware, you know?" "Okay, I sure hope that's like 100th on that list, because that's incredibly stupid." "What else?" "I told him he can't dance." "You need to tell him that?" "What else?" "I don't really have much." "That's why I need your help." "Okay." "How about the fact that he's a little too chummy-chummy with your father?" "That's creepy." "You're right." "And have you ever noticed that every time that boy walks past a mirror, he's got to look in it?" "You guys will be great." "Wait, what did you say after "mirror"?" "Mr. Rosenthal." "Sharkey." "(LAUGHS) Sharkey!" "That's right." "Listen, I'm Sam Marquez, and I have to admit, I'm honored to be your casino host." "My pleasure." "Miss Marquez, I should go over the ground rules with you." "Oh, sure." "Excuse us." "Stay there." "I'm not going to have to bathe him, am I?" "'Cause that would be extra." "(laughing) I'm just kidding!" "No drinking, no smoking, no red meat." "If he gambles, he is to play no more than 45 minutes at a time." "Okay." "Well, we probably won't gamble much." "We'll probably just watch TV or something." "Be careful, Miss Marquez." "He has a very concerned family." "They're also very litigious." "Understood." "I'll be back in the morning to pick you up, Mr. Rosenthal." "Get outta here." "Nice talking to you." "Okay!" "What would you like to do, Sharkey?" "What do you think?" "Drink, gamble, and get laid." "I'm in Vegas, ain't I?" "My kind of guy." "Have you seen the guest list for this wedding?" "It's like a reunion of the five major crime families." "I know." "How is everything going with Delinda?" "Good, good." "She..." "We got into a little argument this morning, but everything else is terrific." "I don't mean your relationship." "I'm not Dr. Phil." "I mean, with everything that's going on." "Does she sleep at night?" "Does she have nightmares?" "You know, how's she handling things?" "She seems okay." "I asked if she wanted to see the therapist you sent me to, but she said no." "Of course she'd say no." "Anyway, keep an eye on her, will you?" "Yeah, okay." "What was your fight about?" "What?" "The fight you had this morning." "It was nothing." "Some domestic stuff." "She said I was a bad dancer." "Oh." "You gonna weigh in on that?" "Or..." "No." "(lNTERCOM BEEPS)" "WOMAN:" "Mr. Deline, I have Wayne Newton on the phone for you." "Hey, Wayne, how the heck are you?" "You have a lot of nerve calling me." "Yeah." "Well, it's been a while." "I just, you know, wanted to say hi." "What do you need?" "I might as well get right to it." "You remember a few years ago you offered to sing at this million-dollar wedding package we have here at the Montecito?" "Yeah, I remember." "Someone bought the package." "Oh." "That's nice." "Congratulations." "So, you'll do it?" "Of course not." "I already told you, I don't care if I ever see you again, nor will I ever do you another favor as long as I live." "Come on, now, Wayne." "You know, I just figured we were mature enough to put this behind us." "Look, you called me a liar and a cheat!" "You humiliated me in front of my friends and family." "Yeah, so did I say something wrong?" "Go to hell, Ed!" "Screw your tuxedo." "What did he say?" "He said for you to call Paul Anka." "Okay, calm down." "What's the problem?" "There's no problem." "He ain't cooking the dinner." "She is." "This is my kitchen." "I'll say who is cooking!" "And who is she?" "She is my mother." "Best cook in the world." "No offense." "None taken, because this is totally ridiculous." "It's absurd." "Where you from, pal?" "I'm from Austria." "Well, I rest my case." "I got people flying in from Italy for this." "And we ain't eating no schnitzel!" "Schnitzel?" "Okay." "How about this?" "Wolfgang will put together a tasting menu for you." "I'm not auditioning!" "I'm Wolfgang Puck!" "Mr. Aversano paid $1 million for his daughter's wedding." "I think the good man deserves to sample the food." "Fine." "Fine." "But I ain't sampling nothing." "She is." "Want to go to my room?" "Oh, no." "Ouch." "You are embarrassing my alma mater." "Al?" "Yeah, Mike." "We have an underage kid in Opus." "Escort him out." "Right away." "All right, you." "Another bar." "Okay." "All right." "Jeez!" "And try to stay out of trouble." "Excuse me, ma'am." "Are you working tonight?" "Yes, I am." "Can I help you?" "Oh, wow." "Hold on a second." "Let's talk price here." "Oh, for what, sweetie?" "Okay, everything." "This may come as a surprise to you, but it's my first time." "And I was just wondering if there was, like, a discount because I'm a virgin?" "A discount?" "Oh, my God!" "You think I'm a hooker?" "No, no, God, no!" "I thought you were a call girl." "Here we go, one ice-cold gin martini straight up." "Thank you, sweetheart." "Keep them coming." "Terrible." "Just terrible." "What's that?" "The drink?" "No." "Not the drink." "I just gave her 500 bucks and she barely blinked." "Oh, well, we'll get you another waitress." "She must not have seen how generous it was." "No." "She doesn't understand that the tip wasn't for the drink." "At my age it's worth 500 bucks for a smile from a pretty girl." "That's not bad." "And it's free." "Nothing is free." "That's enough for me." "I think I'm done for now." "What do you mean, we're done for now?" "We just started." "I'm just not getting the same thrill I used to." "It doesn't get my blood pumping anymore." "Maybe your blood isn't pumping because you're not betting enough." "So we'll raise the limit." "Because I think that you will be surprised at what it does to your adrenaline if you start betting a half million a hand." "I know." "I've done it." "In Atlantic City at the Sands with Frank." "Frank Sinatra?" "There's only one Frank, sweetheart." "Anyway, I had a couple of eights." "I split them." "Made a mill on one hand." "Ended up blowing it the next night in a game of stud with the Prince of Monaco." "So, believe me, honey, there's not much in gambling I haven't done." "How about this?" "We don't have to gamble." "The night is young." "We have the city at our fingertips." "So you tell me what you would like to do and I will make it happen." "I think Murder, She Wrote starts in 10 minutes." "Mmm..." "Is this the biggest one?" "It is." "But it has some imperfections." "Some of the others have better clarity and color." "You see, Carla, it's not always the size." "There are the four C's of diamonds." "Carat, clarity, color and cut." "Daddy?" "Get the biggest one, princess." "(coughing)" "Could you blow that the other way?" "This?" "Mmm-hmm." "Danny, what do you think?" "I can't decide between the round one or the square one." "It's called brilliant or emerald." "The round one." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "Me, too." "It's shinier." "How much are they worth?" "Which?" "All of them." "About $2 million." "Give or take." "(WHlSTLES)" "Nice." "Well, that settles that." "She likes the bigger one, we'll make sure that that's ready in time for the wedding." "Pack them up." "Any questions?" "Yeah." "Where's Wayne Newton?" "Yeah..." "The boss likes Wayne Newton." "What?" "The boss likes Wayne Newton!" "You want a little coffee?" "No, thank you." "Ed, what happened with Wayne Newton?" "You know what?" "I'd rather not discuss it." "Did he steal from you?" "Actually, it's worse." "Did he punch you?" "Wayne Newton?" "Are you outta your mind?" "Come on, Ed, please!" "Just tell me what happened." "Okay, you want to know?" "Yes!" "Okay." "We're playing in this charity tournament, okay?" "Right." "So, on 17 he hits the second shot and it gets stuck in the sand trap." "Wait, wait, wait, this is about golf?" "(knocking ON DOOR) Well, of course it is." "Yeah?" "The lady from Harry Winston just left." "Carla finally picked her diamond." "Okay, good." "Come here." "Come here." "Come here." "A question, a simple question." "You're in the sand trap, right?" "Can you take a practice swing in the sand trap?" "Only if the club doesn't hit the sand." "Right." "And if it does?" "Penalty stroke." "No, actually, it's two." "Ed, what do you care if Wayne Newton takes a penalty stroke?" "I don't give a crap about Wayne Newton!" "It's not my business." "But you don't ask me to sign his scorecard!" "I mean, that makes me an accomplice, right?" "Maybe he didn't take his practice swing." "What am I?" "Ray Charles?" "I saw the sand fly in the air!" "Ed, for God's sake!" "I am begging you, just take one for the team." "We have a situation." "I'm in the middle of something here, Mike." "Someone just jacked the Harry Winston woman on the way to her car." "Took off with $2 million worth of diamonds." "But hey, what was your thing?" "Um..." "He came out of nowhere, pointed a gun at the security guard's face and grabbed the briefcase." "And you couldn't see his face?" "He had on a mask." "Did he have any distinguishing characteristics?" "An accent?" "Hard to tell." "He was screaming and he seemed a little nervous." "ED:" "Well, all right." "Right, listen, Mike here will walk you back down to the garage so you can give the police a full report." "Okay?" "Just give us a half a sec here, okay?" "See if she maybe she remembers something else on the way down there." "And I want a complete background check on everyone, especially that security guard she brought." "Got it." "So, I mean, obviously someone knew she was going down to the car with the diamonds." "Yeah, I wonder who." "No, no, no, man." "It wasn't him." "Ed, that guy steals for a living." "Yeah, I know, but look," "I grew up with hundreds of guys like that in Queens, okay?" "I'm telling you, if they give you their word, unless I have evidence to the contrary," "I have a tendency to believe him." "Hey?" "Okay, okay." "Well, then what about one of his guys?" "We have, like, 50 criminals currently residing in the casino, any one of which could have done this." "And if we permitted a known felon into the casino and he committed a crime," "Harry Winston's insurance company could come after us." "We could be on the line for that two mill." "Do me a favor." "Tell Jimmy I want to talk to him." "Okay?" "Okay." "(ELEVATOR BELL dings)" "Hold on a second." "What's going on here?" "Hey!" "Hey!" "We're just gonna head up to my room, watch some TV." "Mmm." "She's an old family friend." "Go Beavers." "Go Beavers." "What I need are some personal insights that only you can give me." "Well, I'd like to... (MAN CHATTERING ON TV) Hey, sweetie." "Yes?" "You don't have to stay, you know." "I'm not gonna gamble any more tonight." "So, why don't you go downstairs and make your commission?" "Are you sure?" "'Cause I could stick around a while." "I'll see you around, kid." "(sighs)" "Okay, here's what's happening." "You don't want to gamble, that's no problem." "But I'm not gonna let you spend your last big blowout in Vegas in your room watching reruns of Murder, She Wrote." "You got a better idea?" "Yeah." "I do" "I'm gonna take you out for a night on the town." "(chuckling) Old school." "Come on." "Hey, kid." "No." "I don't want to hear another word." "Come on!" "Sam, I can't walk." "Oh, right." "Sorry about that." "(knocking AT DOOR)" "Hey, Danny." "Come on in." "We're just going over the seating chart." "Honey, you can't sit Chacho with Jerry Green Eyes, there's gonna be a situation." "What kind of situation?" "Oh, the kind where one kills the other." "Oh, God." "I hate to interrupt, Jimmy, but Ed wanted a word with you in his office." "Yeah, sure." "Danny?" "Yeah?" "When do I get my diamond?" "Actually, there's been a little delay." "FREDDlE:" "What kind of delay?" "Just a little problem." "It's being taken care of." "What kind of problem?" "The Harry Winston representative was robbed on the way out to her car." "What!" "Freddie, do you hear this?" "Is that why Ed wants to speak to me?" "You're gonna have to speak with Ed about that." "Incredible, just incredible!" "Calm down, honey." "No, I won't calm down!" "What kind of family is this?" "They steal at their own daughter's wedding?" "No, no, no..." "Hey!" "Wait a second." "Are you making an accusation, Freddie?" "Nobody's making any accusations." "Isn't that right, Mr. Smith?" "No, of course not." "How could it be the mob guy?" ""The mob guy?" Whoa!" "Okay, listen." "Everybody relax!" "No one here is a suspect." "Cooper, do something!" "What do you want me to do?" "Tell your dad he's wrong!" "But he's not." "Your dad is in the mob." "Hey, kid, I'm in sanitation." "(SCOFFS) Is that what you think of us?" "That we're a bunch of mobsters?" "No, honey, not you, just the rest of your family." "Okay." "That's it!" "Carla, I forbid you to marry into this family." "You forbid it?" "I forbid it!" "Do you understand?" "Whoa, whoa!" "Hey, hey, hey!" "The forbidding is coming from us!" "Get out of here before I smash you!" "Get outta here, and keep away from us!" "CARLA: (WHlMPERlNG) I thought that..." "That's all right." "We see a lot of weddings here." "This is very common." "Here, have some wine." "Well?" "Eh." ""Eh"?" "This is a venison ragout I simmered slowly for five days!" "So does that mean you're okay with this dish being served, Rose?" "I've had better, but it's okay." ""Okay"?" "She said okay!" "Next dish." "Hey, D!" "Mrs. Aversano, do you mind if I talk to Delinda for a minute?" "Thank you." "So how are you feeling?" "I have a splitting headache." "Maybe you should go home and lie down for a little bit." "I can't." "I gotta get ready for the wedding." "The wedding is off." "Why?" "What happened?" "Problem with the families." "Listen, come here." "I think that you need to go home and take some time." "I told you, I'm fine." "Too bad about the wedding." "Yeah, well, at least that's never gonna be a problem with us." "Right?" "What does that mean?" "Just that your family is like my family, that's all." "Yeah, I know." "I'm sorry I didn't have a problem with that." "It's on my list." "I think you should spend less time with my dad." "He's my boss." "How do you propose I do that, quit?" "That's on my list, too." "Okay, I think that..." "Okay, I think that this list thing has gotten a little out of hand." "Maybe we should just call a truce." "Truce?" "Yeah." "After you were insensitive enough to nitpick about my panties being on the floor?" "Look, I thought that it was too soon." "I told you that this morning." "Not a chance, McCoy." "The list continues." "Okay, the list does continue." "But I'm not a bad dancer!" "Yes, you are." "Is that all we got?" "He took off back into the stairwell." "They found the mask and the briefcase in one of the trash cans." "But that could have come out of anywhere." "All right, check every floor." "And let's get a background check on the security guard." "Done." "The security guard is clean." "Obviously, most of the wedding guests are not." "Okay." "Keep looking." "I'll let Ed know." "Okay." "Good work." "Thank you." "What about best show you ever saw?" "Well, that's a tough one, too, you know." "Okay." "Frank at The Sands when Peter Lawford got lit and made an ass of himself, again." "Or Elvis and Dean Martin singing a duet of That's Amore." "I didn't know they had a concert." "I always heard the Rat Pack and Elvis hated each other." "It wasn't a concert." "It was in my hotel suite." "Boy, that is some life you've had." "Better than some." "Are you married, Sam?" "No!" "Tried it once." "Any kids?" "No." "Why not?" "I've got one person in the world to look after, and I have a hard enough time with that as it is." "You know, the greatest regret in my life is that I didn't have a family." "I mean, take some advice from an old man." "Don't wait till you're my age to realize that you made a mistake." "MAN:" "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage," "Old Blue Eyes himself, Mr. Frank Sinatra!" "(CROWD cheering)" "Looks just like him." "Yeah, it's eerie." "Do you know a man can father a child deep into his eighties?" "What are you doing?" "Come on, now, you can't blame a guy for trying." "Was all that just a line?" "What?" "Come on!" "All that "take some advice from an old man," ""you should have a child" pathetic bit?" "Pathetic bit?" "Worked on a lot bigger names than Sam Marquez." "Yeah, right." "Kim Novak, Carol Lombard." "You were with Carol Lombard?" "That's right." "What was she like?" "I never kiss and tell." "SAM:" "Come on!" "mike:" "What floor is that?" "Nineteen." "East wing." "Who's the room registered to?" "Hmm." "Hamilton High School has a block of rooms." "This one is registered to a Leo Pedowitz." "Look out for any of Jimmy's guys coming out of a stairwell." "Okay." "Got it." "We're gonna need a few more minutes, sugar." "Leo?" "Mike, what a pleasant surprise, man!" "What's going on in here?" "Just hanging, man." "Hanging?" "(PHONE rings)" "Capitalism?" "Let's go." "Ah, okay." "Ow!" "Ow, dude!" "Ouch!" "Whoa, dude!" "Watch the shirt, man!" "Ow." "I just bought that." "Leo!" "Leo, what the hell is going on in there?" "Look, you really think I'm the only kid who doesn't want to go to college a virgin?" "I'm doing them a favor." "By charging them for sex?" "I prefer to see it as I'm offering them an education that far exceeds anything they're gonna get in college." "You realize it's illegal?" "No." "Not really." "Yes, really!" "You can go to jail, and what would your future look like if mit found out that you were arrested for pimping?" "Who cares?" "I'm not going to mit." "What?" "Yeah!" "Why would I want to hang around a bunch of eggheads studying nuclear physics when I could run an empire?" "An empire?" "Excuse me, look, Leo." "He says this is all he has." "Let me see." "He's lying." "He has at least 10 grand in bonds from his bar mitzvah." "I'll be right there." "Do me a favor?" "Draw me a bath." "Okay!" "Thanks, sugar." "(sighs)" "Okay." "God!" "Oh, gotta go." "But listen, thanks for the advice." "That's good looking out." "Don't worry, you're in for a taste." "Ed, I had nothing to do with it." "Okay, fine." "Let's just say you didn't." "Is it possible one of your crew did?" "If they did, they're dead." "I'm gonna make believe I didn't hear that." "Listen, I need you to do me a favor here, Jimmy." "I got some footage here from the garage." "Look at it and tell me if you see anything that's recognizable." "Stop that." "Can you get closer?" "Can you get any closer?" "That's it." "I've seen enough." "It ain't one of my guys." "How the hell do you know that?" "Because ain't nobody I know that would be caught dead in a tasseled loafer." "I should have known that." "Yes?" "Hey, do you mind if we come in?" "Sure." "Sure." "Did you find out who took the diamonds?" "What's going on?" "Anything you'd like to confess, Mr. Smith?" "I knew we'd never get away with it." "I don't know what she's talking about." "Tell him, Freddie!" "The police are here." "Get away with what?" "He made me do it!" "We took ginger ales from the mini-bar and then we replaced them with ones from the store." "Freddie, we're going to jail!" "Muriel!" "Are these your tasseled loafers, Mr. Smith?" "Mind if I take a look in your safe?" "Freddie, what is going on?" "Say you'll pay for the ginger ale!" "I just didn't want my son to marry into that family." "I'm not a thief." "They're the thieves!" "I was going to give the diamonds back!" "Yeah." "You can tell it all to the police!" "Dad?" "What kind of family is this?" "I love you, honey, even if your dad is a crook." "Great!" "The wedding is back on!" "Let's leave the kids alone." "Oh, crap." "Get me Wayne Newton." "(DOORBELL rings)" "Yeah?" "I came to apologize." "Sorry, I couldn't hear that." "Look, it was a while ago and it was a very bad angle." "And maybe you didn't hit the sand on your practice swing." "So, I apologize." "That was an 82." "That was the best round of my life." "It was an 83, not counting the penalty stroke." "Wait, wait, wait, come on!" "Wait!" "I'm kidding around with you, for crying out loud here." "I mean, you know my math is bad." "Anyway, the truth is, it was a beautiful 82." "I apologize." "Not good enough." "What would you have me do?" "I was humiliated publicly." "You must apologize publicly." "(ELEVATOR BELL dings)" "How you doing?" "mike: (laughing) Oh, yeah." "DANNY:" "What's up?" "Just asked our resident thugs to do a job for me." "A job?" "Yeah." "Shake down a 17-year-old." "Not so much work as fun, probably." "So, you ready for that lesson?" "No." "We will start off slow." "Just tap your foot." "I already told you, Mike." "Not interested." "If you want, we don't have to do it here." "We can go somewhere more private." "I think you're mistaking my reluctance for embarrassment." "But actually, it's because I have no interest in changing my dance style." "I happen to like the way that I dance, and if Delinda can't appreciate that, then maybe she's not the right girl for me." "Or she could be from the planet Earth." "Oh, jokes?" "I'm just..." "Guys, we have a report that someone is being dangled off the roof." "The roof?" "Oh, it's fine." "Don't worry about it." "Are we insured for this?" "Thank you, Sam." "Oh, please." "It was my pleasure." "Will you please come back and see me soon?" "I think we should settle up." "What's the damages?" "I'll send a marker to your house." "And by the way, last night's on me." "Come here." "For my last night in Vegas, I'm glad I spent it with you, kid." "Mmm!" "Oh, Wayne Newton." "Thank you so much!" "Nah." "The Sinatra guy looked more realistic." "Let's go." "Yes, sir." "So, I guess you'll be setting up shop here." "No, actually, I think I will give mit a shot." "Really?" "Putting the pimping thing on hold for a while?" "No." "Just Vegas." "Way too much competition here, man." "Do you have any idea how many virgins there are at MlT?" "I'm gonna make a killing." "Mikey!" "See you around, bro." "Smart kid." "Cold feet there, Cooper?" "With my father in jail, it doesn't exactly put me in the celebrating mood." "It's never too late to back out." "Yo!" "How you doing?" "A round of shots." "Welcome to the family, Cooper." "You know, you hurt her, I'm gonna kill you." "slim:" "How?" "T-BONE:" "What?" "How would you kill him?" "That's a good question." "Not a good question." "First I stab a fork through his hand, to make sure he's not going anywhere." "Yeah?" "Then what?" "Then, maybe I go to work on him." "Say, a pair of pliers to the big toe." "Ooh!" "I like that!" "Okay!" "Here's to the happy couple!" "Here we go." "Here we go." "You know, about that whole list thing." "Yeah?" "You can forget mine." "Uh-huh?" "What's the matter, afraid of my list?" "No." "You can have your list." "I'm just not gonna have one." "I think you're perfect just the way you are." "How about dinner tonight?" "Can't." "Plans." "(CROWD cheering)" "Yeah?" "What kind of plans?" "I made an appointment to see that guy." "Talk about what happened." "Oh, baby." "That's great." "I'd like to do a song for you, and I'd like all of you to come out onto the dance floor, and let's celebrate this very special evening with this very special couple, Mr. and Mrs. Smith." "MAN:" "Oh, yeah!" "Let's do it!" "Come on." "No, no." "That's okay." "Come on!" "I apologize for saying you can't dance." "I just..." "I couldn't think of anything I didn't like about you and I was grasping at straws." "I love the way you dance." "Yeah, let's not overdo it." "Come on." "Yes." "Let's." "Come on!" "I wouldn't want to embarrass everybody, Delinda." "We were kidding." "All right, but I only know one way to bring it." "Let's see it, McCoy." "Come on!" "Yeah, okay." "Wow." "That is one spastic couple." "How's your husband?" "Freddie!" "If he needs help in the joint, I know people." "Really?"