"I don't know about you but I'm starving." " Me too." " Here you go." "Enjoy." "Now, Constable, the secret of a good soufflé is consistency." "You have to be careful not to over-whip it." " l see." " l hope I'm not boring you." "Just because I don't need food, doesn't mean I'm not interested in its preparation." "I'm fascinated by the humanoid preoccupation with eating." " May I?" " By all means." "Nice and smooth." "That's it..." "it's all in the wrist." "Where did you learn all this?" "In my father's restaurant in New Orleans." "What are we having?" "Blackened redfish with creamed spinach and sautéed beets." "Beets..." "You don't like beets, Doctor?" "They're not a personal favourite of mine." "That's because you've never had them prepared properly." "Beets are a very misunderstood vegetable." "I look forward to understanding it better." "Come in." "What a day..." "I spent six hours in one of the upper pylons trying to get the new sensor relay on-line." "Dinner will be ready in a few minutes." "Great, I've been looking forward to this all day." " l hope you like beets." " l love them." "Keep at it, Constable." "Nice, even strokes." "Do you find something amusing, Major?" "I just think you look so...cute." " Whose is this?" " lt's mine." " l didn't know that you played." " l don't." "I took lessons for a while but I wasn't very good." "I know the feeling." "None of Dax's host, even Jadzia, had any musical ability." "Nobody said life was fair." "Not even if you've had seven of them." "You would think one of us would've been born without a tin ear." "Sounds like one of you had some talent, after all." " That's lovely." " Quiet." "That's not it." "What piece was that?" "I don't know." "I don't believe I've heard it before." "Maybe you hit on it by accident." "Beginner's luck." "But I know it somehow." "It's probably something from your childhood." "Dinner is ready." " Do you mind..." " What?" "Your humming." "It's a little distracting." "I'm sorry, I didn't realise I was doing it." "You've been humming that tune since we started the game." "I guess I can't get it out of my mind." "Do me a favour." "Try." "Your turn." " You sure you want to do that?" " Your move." " Check." " Where did that Knight come from?" "Your mind's not on the game." "You decided to make an illegal move to get my attention..." "Of course not." "And it's a legal move." "Why don't we just call it a day." "You have other things on your mind." "Curzon always suspected you were a cheat." " ls this some kind of joke?" " Don't play innocent, Benjamin." "We both know you're trying to cheat me here." "So why don't you just admit it?" "Dax." "Did Sisko send you to apologise for him?" "No." "But he was concerned about what happened." "I thought you might like to talk about it." "There's nothing to talk about." "You can't really think he tried to cheat you?" " l knew you'd take his side." " l'm not taking anybody's side." "In that case, I think you should leave Kira." " Dax..." " l'm serious." "Leave." "Fine. I'll go." "Wait!" "Get your hands off of me... before I do something I'll regret." "That's the first smart thing you've done since you walked over here." "Something wrong, Lieutenant?" "No." "No." "How do you feel?" "I feel like an idiot." "I'm so sorry about all the horrible things I said to you." "Don't worry about it." "They're already forgotten." "And I used to think Curzon had a temper." "I don't know what's wrong with me." "I feel like I have so much anger inside and I don't know where it's coming from." "This masked figure in your..." "Hallucinations?" "Do you have the sense of who it might've been?" "That's what's so strange." "He seemed familiar somehow, but I don't know from where." "And the music... I have to find out what that music is." "Why don't you input as much as you can remember in the computer?" "It might be able to find a match in the Federation database." "I'll do it." "Well, as soon as Julian lets me leave here." "Jadzia..." "Have you experienced any hallucinations prior to this?" "Never." "And I hope I never do again." "It was terrifying." " Have any of Dax's other hosts?" " No, I'd remember." "According to your file, the only major trauma the Dax symbiont suffered was when Torias Dax was injured in a shuttle accident." "He was Dax's fifth host, wasn't he?" "Yes, right before Curzon." "He remained in a comatose state for just under six months." "There was tissue damage - the doctors couldn't keep his isoboramine levels up." "lsoboramine?" "It's a neurotransmitter that mediates the synaptic functions between the host and the symbiont." "When the levels dropped below 40% of normal they had to remove the symbiont." "Sometimes the host is sacrificed to save the symbiont." "Are you checking my isoboramine levels?" "Yes." "How low are they?" "They're fallen to 73% of normal." "Do you have any idea what's causing it?" "I'm not sure, there's no tissue damage." "No synaptic degradation." "Julian, am I in danger of rejecting my symbiont?" "I wouldn't worry about rejection yet." "But we do have to get your isoboramine levels back up." "I suggest we take her back to the Trill homeworld and have the doctors at the Symbiosis Commission examine her." "Curzon always said he wanted to show me the Trill homeworld." "Looks like I'm going to get there after all." "How long before we reach Trill?" "A little over 37 hours." "How's Dax?" "Resting in her quarters." "It's funny...it's been almost four years since Curzon died and I still miss the old man." "At first, I never thought I'd ever get used to a new Dax." " But if anything happens to Jadzia..." " l know." "I feel the same way." "We'll just have to make sure nothing happens to her." "Right?" "Right." "Yes?" " Good, I didn't wake you." " Not at all." " You're having trouble sleeping?" " Yeah, a little." " l could give you something." " No, thanks." "But I could use some company." "If you're not too busy." " No, I was just reading." " Anything I'd be interested in?" " Trill physiology." " Just some background research." "Look, Jadzia." "I know you're worried..." "But the Symbiosis Commission know more about this than I do." "I can't believe I'm going back there." "I spent three years as a Trill initiate, and in all that time I hardly ever left the complex." "After I was joined I swore I would never step foot in there again." "Was it really that bad?" "No." "What I remember is the endless series of tests they put me through." "Considering the risk of rejection, you can't really blame them." "If they put a symbiont into an unsuitable host, they'd both die in a matter of days." "That's true." "I guess I had such a difficult time because I put so much pressure on myself." " l wanted to be joined so badly." " Well, look on the bright side." "At least this time you won't be an initiate." "No, I'm going there as a patient..." "and that's much worse." "I never told you this before, Julian, but I've always been afraid of doctors." "Most people are." "When I was younger I was terrified of them." "They seemed to know everything and held the power of life and death." "I used to think that if I didn't behave, they'd make sure I got sick." "Then, as I got older, I decided that I wanted to know what they knew, be as smart as they were." "And that's why you went to medical school?" "That's right." "And you know what I learned there?" "That all I really wanted to do was help people." "That's what doctors are there for, to help." "So there's no reason to be afraid of them." "Now if that little story didn't put you to sleep, I don't know what will." "You're a very dear man, Julian." "Listen Jadzia...you're more than welcome to sleep here if you want." "You can have the top bunk." " Are you sure you don't mind?" " Absolutely not." "Up you go." "OK, well...in that case..." "If it's not too much trouble would you mind lf l took the lower bunk?" "Curzon fell out of a tree once, and I..." " Anything you want." " Thank you." "is this light too bright for you?" "Dax?" "Sweet dreams." "After they finally finished the neural response analysis, another doctor came in and ran a cortical protein series." "Did they do a bio-spectral scan on the symbiont?" "They had to make an incision so they could insert the scanner." "Jadzia...it's good to see you again." "Doctor Renhol." "Everyone's very excited about your being here." "Jadzia's the only initiate who successfully reapplied to the programme after being dropped." " You must be Dr Bashir." " That's right." "Commander Benjamin Sisko." " Yes, Curzon's friend." " Yes, I had that privilege." " Did you look over the test results?" " Yes, I did." "As you noted, Doctor, her isoboramine levels are low, so I've put her on a benzocyatic regimen to compensate." " There's already a 3% improvement." " Will I have to stay here?" "No, Dr Bashir can administer it." "But come back here tomorrow for a follow up...and for lunch." "I'd like that." "If you'll excuse me, I have an initiate who needs some hand-holding." "I don't know why we came back here when we could tour the Tenaran ice cliffs." " You're not going anywhere." " You're going to your quarters to rest." " But..." " No buts." "Doctor's orders." "But I cannot sleep in the afternoon." "Just lie down, close your eyes, and try not to think." "It usually works for me." " Who are you?" " lt's beautiful, isn't it?" "Dax!" "Jadzia!" "I don't understand why she'd have another hallucination." "Her isoboramine levels have risen another 6%." "That's a larger increase than I'd anticipated." "The suddenness could have triggered her hallucination." "Begin administering more frequent treatments at a lower dosage." "Doctor...the people who attacked me were from the Symbiosis Commission." "Hallucinations often take the form of latent anxieties." "We all know the time you spent here wasn't that easy for you." "But their uniforms were from over a hundred years ago." "That was long before Jadzia was an initiate." "And none of my other hosts had any bad memories of being here." "With seven lifetimes worth of memories, things could get a bit jumbled." "So we are on the right track with these treatments?" "Yes." "But I still want to see you tomorrow." "What's on your mind, Dax?" "I wish I knew what these hallucinations meant." "The computer's still trying to identify the music." " Maybe that'll tell us something." " l hope so." "Maybe you still have issues about the time you spent here." "I don't need therapy, Julian." "I need answers." " Maybe the Guardians could help me." " The Guardians?" "Trills who've devoted their lives to the care of the symbionts." "They know more about them than anyone." "So, this is where the symbionts breed?" "There are interconnecting pools throughout these caves." "They stretch back for kilometres." "Look... there's two of them surfacing now." "What was that energy discharge?" "That's how they communicate with each other." "That's one of the Guardians." "Don't be surprised if he seems a little distracted." "They're not used to visitors." "That explains things." " Can I ask what you're doing?" " Yes." "What are you doing?" "Just making sure they're comfortable." "Checking the ion concentration, temperature, viscosity." "They get very cranky if everything is not perfect." " You don't want them to get cranky." " No, of course not." "They can be very demanding." "Sometimes I don't know why I put up with it." " What's the weather like outside?" " lt's sunny, very pleasant." "Sunshine..." "I miss sunshine." "You're Dax." "Yes." "Jadzia Dax." "How did you know?" "I know." " Something's wrong." " Yes." "Do you mind?" "Oh!" "Oh, that is not good." "Not good at all." "Tell me..." "How bad are the dreams?" "They're not dreams." "They're hallucinations." "Actually...they're memories." "Then, why don't I remember them?" "The balance is off." "The balance between host and symbiont?" "What other balance is there?" "Someone's not playing fair." "It wouldn't be Dax, so it must be the host." "You're saying the problem is with Jadzia?" "No, not necessarily, it could be any one of the hosts." "All right, Dax, come with me." "Let's see what we find." "How did it go?" "Timor is convinced my hallucinations have something to do with one of my previous hosts." "But he's not sure which one." "He wants me to come back tomorrow." "The computer's identified your music." "Can I hear it?" "That's it." "It was written by a Trill, Joran Belar, 86 years ago." "Does that name sound familiar?" "Joran Belar... I don't think so." "is there a picture of him?" "I'll see." " He left me no choice." " Who are you?" "Dax?" "Dax?" "She's in neural shock." "We had to stabilise her synaptic functions." "Activate the neural induction field." "Give her another two cc's of benzocyatizine." "Her isoboramine levels are down to 51 %." "A decrease that severe is usually the result of tissue damage." "Commander, this wormhole you've discovered..." "Have you done surveys of the diametric fields it generates?" " Yes." "Dax did the most recent survey." " l'd like to see those reports." "is there any correlation between Dax's condition and the wormhole?" "Something is affecting her." "At this point we can't rule anything out." "If we can't get her readings up to an acceptable level within 48 hours, I'm afraid we'll have to remove the symbiont." " But that'll kill Jadzia." " l'm aware of that, Commander." "Jadzia would be the first to tell you that our primary responsibility must be to the symbiont." "If there's any change in her condition, I'll let you know." "Timor, we need your help." " Dax has gone into neural shock." " Sorry to hear that." "The doctors don't know the cause." "You told her that her condition had something to do with one of Dax's previous hosts." "That was just speculation." "You told her you were certain of it." "If I gave that impression, I apologise." "If you will excuse me, the symbionts need me." "Jadzia needs you, too." "She's dying." "Just come with us to the Symbiosis Commission and consult with Dr Renhol." "I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do." "How do you know that unless you try?" "Timor...what's going on here?" "Did someone tell you not to pursue this?" " Why would anyone do that?" " You tell me." "I hope your friend recovers, I truly do." "Now if that's all, I'm very busy." "He's not busy, he's scared." "Why would anyone want to keep him quiet about this?" "Yesterday, he said the problem was with one of Dax's previous hosts." "Today, mentioning that makes him nervous." "Someone doesn't want an investigation of those past hosts." "I can't think of a better reason for such an investigation." "Can you?" "It's possible that one of the Dax hosts had something to do with this Belar." "Jadzia lost consciousness when she saw Belar's picture." "It's time we found out more about him." "I've accessed the Trill central database." "Let's see what information there is on Joran Belar." "Here we are." "Born on Stardate 1 024.7, died on Stardate 861 5.2." " ls that all there is?" " l was expecting a lot more." "Dax's records had detailed information on each host." "Could the file have been purged?" "If part of the file has been deleted, the data compression ratio might be off." "Look at this." "The ratio is for a file five times larger." " There was more information here." " Call up Dax's records." "Put them side by side with Joran's." "Wait a minute." "Look at these dates." "Belar died on the same day as Torias Dax died." "The same day the Dax symbiont was put into Curzon." "This has to be more than a coincidence." "Whoever purged the main database might have missed something." "Check the enrolment records of the Trill music academies during Belar's lifetime." "He's not listed, but there is someone with the same last name." "Yolad Belar." "Check the central database." "See if he's still alive." "He is." "Access the Trill communications grid, try and locate him." "There's a chance that they were related." "Musical ability often runs in families." " l've established a com-link." " Put him on the main viewer." "Yes, can I help you?" "I'm Commander Benjamin Sisko of the Federation Starbase DS9." "What would a Starfleet officer want with me?" " Are you Yolad Belar?" " l am." "Why?" "We're trying to find information on Joran Belar." " Did you know him?" " Of course." "He was my brother." " He was a composer?" " That's right." "We graduated from the same academy." "Are you aware that his record has been purged from the Academy's files?" "That doesn't make any sense." "What's this all about?" "That's what we're trying to find out." "Do you know if your brother knew a joined Trill named Torias Dax?" "My brother died 85 years ago." "I have a hard time remembering what happened yesterday." " Then you don't remember the name?" " No." "But that doesn't mean Joran didn't know him." "You say he was joined?" "They could've met when my brother went off to become an initiate." " He was a candidate for joining?" " That's what I just said, isn't it?" "Was he given a symbiont?" "Not according to the Symbiosis Commission." "They claim he was dropped from the programme after the second year." "According to them he murdered the doctor who recommended dropping him, and was killed trying to escape the murder scene." "It sounds like you're not convinced that's what happened." "I believe he killed that doctor." "My brother had a violent temper." "But about six months before that happened, my brother contacted me." "He sounded different, somehow more confident, even colder than usual." "And when I asked him about it he laughed." "He said he was different, that he'd been joined." "Did he tell you the name of his symbiont?" "Maybe. I was so surprised he'd been chosen to be joined." "I can't remember much else." "I loved my brother, Commander." "In spite of all the things he did, I loved him." "Thank you for taking the time to speak with us." "Doctor, call up Dax's records." "I'm beginning to understand what's going on here." "According to the official records, after Torias died, the Dax symbiont was put into Curzon." "What if that's not what happened." "What if Dax was given another host before Curzon." "A host who should never have been given a symbiont." "A host named Joran Belar." "Her isoboramine levels have dropped to 44%." "Tell Dr Torvin to prepare the new host for surgery." "We transfer the symbiont in 1 5 minutes." "Tell Dr Torvin to get a cup of raktajino." "He won't be needed." " How dare you come in here and..." " lt's over, Doctor." "We know all about Joran Belar." "Wait outside." "Tell the surgeons to stand by." "I don't have time for this." " The symbiont is in danger." " So is Jadzia." " l can't do anything for her." " Can't?" "Or won't?" "I resent that implication." "I resent having to watch my friend die so you can protect your secret." "What secret?" "The thought of it becoming public scares you." "I don't know what you're talking about." "86 years ago the Symbiosis Commission mistakenly gave the Dax symbiont to Joran Belar." "I don't recall ever seeing any mention of a Joran Dax in our records." "And we both know why, Doctor." "The Symbiosis Commission altered the records just like they erased all knowledge of Joran from Dax's memory." "But now after 80 years the memory block is deteriorating and Dax is starting to remember." "What reason would anyone have to create such an elaborate cover up?" "We wondered about that too." "What was it about Joran that had to be hidden?" "That he never should have been selected as host?" "No." "That simple error in judgement wouldn't be enough." "There had to be something more, something that would shake the very foundation of your society." "Tell me, how many are suitable for joining?" "I don't see how that's relevant." "I understand the percentage is very low." "Maybe, one in a thousand?" " That's right." " That's why the candidates are tested." "That's how we ensure the symbionts aren't given to an unsuitable host." "What would happen if a symbiont was given to an unsuitable host?" " That doesn't happen." " What if it did?" "Rejection would set it." "The host and symbiont would both die." " How long before rejection sets in?" " Three, maybe four days." "Then someone like Joran Belar, an unstable personality, with violent tendencies, should have rejected a symbiont within days." "Instead, he was joined to the Dax symbiont for six months." "Six months, Doctor." "If a man like Joran Belar can be joined successfully for that long, how many others can be joined as well?" "Hundreds, thousands..." "More than the Symbiosis Commission would have us believe." "That's what you've been trying to cover up." "That's why you're willing to let Jadzia die." "I'm not interested in exposing your secret, Doctor." "All I care about is Jadzia." "And I promise you, if she dies, I'll see to it that entire planet knows why." "Do you realise what would happen if you did that?" "It would mean chaos." "There aren't enough symbionts for that many hosts." "The potential danger to the symbionts would be enormous - they would become commodities to be purchased or prizes to be fought over." "Nearly half our population is capable of being joined." "That's what we learned from our unfortunate experience with Joran Dax." "Do you understand why you must not reveal the truth?" "Do you understand my terms?" "It's not that simple." "For Jadzia to survive, we must stabilise the synaptic functions between host and symbiont," "Joran's memories have to be allowed to surface to re-integrate with Dax's other memories." " Could be dangerous." " Jadzia is a strong woman." " l say we give her that chance." " And what if you're wrong?" "What if Joran's personality overwhelms Jadzia?" "Are you willing to risk that?" "The point is it's not up to me or you to decide." "It's her life and her decision." "Julian." "We have a lot to talk about, Jadzia." "You have a decision to make." "Joran." " You know who I am." " You're a part of me." "Come in." "Checking up on me, Benjamin?" "Just thought I'd see how you were doing." "Julian stopped by 1 5 minutes ago, and said the same thing." "I'll be all right." "I just need some time to sort things out." "I suppose it would've been easier if you'd never found out about Joran." "No, I'm glad I did." "If you want to know who you are, it's important to know who you've been." "Good night, old man." "Benjamin..." "I'll see you in the morning."