"D AY OF THE WACKO" "starring" "I'm afraid of getting up in the morning." "I'm scared of the dawn and don't even want to open my eyes." "I have no idea what to do." "I can't stand it." "Fuck!" "I have things to do, but ..." "I feel empty." "Whether I get up or not, do anything or not - it doesn't matter." "Fuck this." "Shower, eat, work, eat, work, smoke, pills, sleep." "Holy fucking shit." "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7..." "Do you guys have to make noise so fucking early?" "You think I'm a fucking slacker just 'cause I'm not in the office at 7 AM?" "And because of that you get to harass me at dawn?" "To make sure the lazy bastard doesn't sleep even an hour longer, even though he got to sleep just few hours ago?" "Does it count that his day is already fucked up?" "Come back after I leave for work!" "Now everyday I suck in my stomach." "I've done it for years now." "I take the alarm clock, unfinished tea, and the newspaper I jerked off in last night." "I put the clock on the desk so it can annoy me, reminding of the passing time." "I open the balcony to clear the room of cigarette smoke." "I drop the used paper onto the pile in the hallway." "I take the mug with yesterday's tea into the kitchen, and pour hot water into the pot in the sink." "I put the milk in the pot to warm it up." "7 gulps of mineral water." "It's healthy: dilutes stomach acids and prevents ulcers." "3, 4, 5, 6, 7..." "I get sick thinking I have to shave today again ..." "I try to look only at the blade so I don't have to see my whole face." "I'm jealous of the men in movies who dry their faces off with a towel after shaving." "My skin would dry up from the foam left over on my face all day." "They don't rinse their mouths, either." "Do they eat the fucking toothpaste?" "I even rinse my throat after brushing." "I put a bowl under the faucet, so I don't waste water, and wash my face - again 7 times:" "3 times with hot water, and 4 times with cold, cleaning my ears with wet fingertips." "Finally I sit down on the toilet and study English." "I will probably never learn the language." "And I try to formulate a sentence on my own:" "I wipe my ass for a really long time." "Sometimes - rarely - only 4 times." "Mostly it's 7, 13 or even 21 times." "Sometimes it takes half the roll before I'm done." "Then I wash 7 times: my ass 3 times, sitting on the edge of the tub, then standing up, 4 times for my crotch and dick." "That makes 7." "Today I will wash my feet." "I wash my whole body including my head on odd days, unless I am going to the theater, to the doctor, or on a date." "But I have no dates." "I use the water I washed my face and ass with." "It's cheaper and ecological." "I think of the suffering children, droughts in India, and death from dehydration ..." "I listen to traffic reports making breakfast - about those dicks stuck in their fucking cars." "There's traffic all over the city ..." "I pour a handful of plain corn flakes, a handful of honey flavored, fruit flavored, a handful of oatmeal and bran ... a handful of walnuts and a handful of Kleopatra brand." "A total of 7 handfuls." "Today I use the last of my corn flakes - I count it as only a half a handful." "Fucking shit!" "As a rule I hate wasting food." "My ex-wife threw bread away while millions are starving..." "I don't eat alone - I eat with my TV." "Poland belongs to us!" "Poland for the Poles!" "Scandal!" "Only one can be right and only we are right!" " Bravo!" " Blasphemy!" "There is only one Polish nation, and we are it." "There is only one truth..." " Blasphemy!" " And the truth is ours!" "Scandal!" "Only I posses the truth," " Bravo!" " only I have holy righteousness..." "Blasphemy!" "But even if yours is the truth, our truth is truer than yours." "I am right, because my truth is truer than yours!" "So many times I promised myself I wouldn't bother with all of this crap." "Get entangled in the problems of this country, when I can't do anything about the situation." "I do not believe in anything." "How can I believe when you don't give a damn even about my greatest efforts?" "You can promise me anything you want..." "Give it to me, give to us now!" "Give it all to me, give them nothing!" "We deserve more, I want the most!" "No, me, I deserve the most, give me the most!" "Prozac - so I care to keep on living," "Geriavit - so I don't get old, Nootropil - so my brain functions well," "Encopiryne - just in case." "I sip my nighttime tea 7 times, licking my lips after the 4th sip." "I pee one more time, so nothing will disturb me while I drink my coffee." "1, 2, 3, 4..." "Fuck!" "... 5, 6, 7, 8, 9," "The mound on the spoon isn't right." "One little grain can ruin it." "To bring to a boil." "To cool it down a bit." "You always lose some coffee, otherwise you haven't poured enough." "I try to start all my duties on the hour, or at least on the half hour." "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7..." "I try to cheat but I know it's impossible." ""I sailed forth onto the boundless vastness of nature's ocean" "My cart dips in the greenery and like a ship it flows;" "Amidst whispering meadows, amidst a flood of flowers" "I pass by islands of coral bushes"" "Turn it down!" "Could you turn it down?" "Quiet, please!" "But this is Chopin!" "Come!" "Do you hear anything, the whole building can hear your music blasting!" "My dear, it's the Chopin Competition!" "How can you not listen to it?" "But not through the ceiling!" "I like to listen, when I want to!" "I love Chopin but not when you play it in the shower." "My dearest friend." "I also hear the various noises, when you have guests." " Guests?" " But anyway it's all right now." "What's he up to?" "Is he trying to blow me?" " No one ever visited me here!" " I hear what you do on the couch." " On the couch?" " Messing around." " The whole couch is moving." " Just like a dick in your ass!" "He did it on purpose!" "Fucking faggots!" "Or the Vietnamese!" "Look at those gooks." "Look at this filth:" "they flood our market with stretch socks on purpose." "You know why?" "To spread Berger's disease." "Circulation gets cut off, and in three months you have Berger's." "Then amputations." "First your feet, then the knee, the thighs ..." "Without feet you don't need socks." "They're trying to kill us all with those socks!" "But they won't get me, those damn little yellow dwarfs." "I buy their cheap crap and then ..." "I take a razor and cut the elastic." "I make safe socks out of their dangerous crap." ""I sailed forth onto the boundless space of nature's ocean" "My cart dips in the greenery and like a ship it flows;" "Amidst whispering meadows, amidst a flood of flowers ..."" "Do you wait for me to sit down to work so you can start banging?" "I work downstairs!" "Do all women think that working at home is no work at all?" ""I sailed forth onto the boundless space of nature's ocean" "My cart dips in the greenery and like a ship it ..."" "It's like shaving a wire beard off a giant." "Shit!" "He's shaving the lawn with a razor on a stick." "Are you gonna shave the lawn with this?" " Shave?" " You call that mowing?" " What's your problem?" " You gonna mess with this thing all day?" "I won't be finished today!" "Normal people are at work now." " I am working right now!" " So am I!" "If I don't check in at the asbestos factory at 7:00 or fuck myself at the post office until 4:00 then I'm not at work?" "You got it?" "I'm working here!" " And I'm not?" " With this piece of crap?" "The lawnmover got stolen." "You can shave your ass with that." "Go shave your brain." "Fuck off." "Do your own thing!" ""I sailed forth onto the boundless space of nature's ocean ..."" "I am absolutely exhausted, and it's only morning." "Totally wasted." "I'm dying here, mother ..." "But my life was supposed to be totally different." "It's locked." "Is it really?" "Yeah, sure." "Did I close it?" "This will torture me: 1st, 3rd, 5th ..." "Counting only odd numbers." "Fuck!" "Jesus!" "Holy fucking shit!" "You'll have your Chopin!" "Crimean Sonnets" "I feel closed off." "I watch them sentencing me." "A field trip into wild prairies close to Odessa ..." "Wild prairies, not long ago trampled by herds of swift Tartar horses, let him breathe deeply of the fresh air" "and contemplate the silence, after a noisy day in the port city." "They went further, in a cart drawn by four horses, towards Ackerman ..." "In the evening, the mountains looked like impenetrable walls." "He didn't describe them, he created them!" "Greater and mightier." "Playing with words he became a creator." "Sailing, thunderstorms, an then silence ... deeper and deeper, fuller and fuller ... until the human heart calms ..." "I'm looking for one person listening to me now." "There she is." "This girl has focused, wise eyes." "How could I overlook them!" "I am saved!" "Nothing matters but her faithful eyes." "So I'll talk only to her, only for her." "I am navigating my ship toward her ..." "Mayday!" "She's the only one who listens to my lecture ..." ""And in that silence I strain my ears with curiosity" "So I could hear the voice from Lithuania ..." "Let's go, nobody's calling."" "What happened to you, sir?" " I hit my head on a box." " You hit a box?" "Yes, a mailbox." "Unbelievable ..." "No, it can't be true." "8 years - elementary school, 4 - high school." "Then 5 years of studies." "I graduated with honors." "20 years of teaching experience and that's what I got." "It's an insult!" "Holy shit!" "Brothers and sister of Polish Studies majors!" "There were 130 of us at the first year." "We considered ourselves so lucky:" "they admitted us to the School of Poetry!" "The Poets' School!" "Jesus!" "Fucking shit!" "5 years, thousands of pages, our youth lost in libraries!" "And then poverty and disappointment." "Then, despair and silent aging ..." "And paralyzing disregard by the government." "From tyranny through democracy, everyone has treated teachers like shit." "Why does every authority treat me like nothing?" "Democrats or Communists, they all treat me like shit." "Damn!" "They make me feel like a stray dog." "If I were an uneducated fuck with a board in my hands, then they'd respect me!" "Yet we are "the salt of the earth" ..." "Of this earth." "Though we are not a primitive power, dictatorships are shaken off by the poets." "The desperate masses need us then, the same masses who can't see beyond a piece of a sausage." "Who can see no further..." "Good shot!" "They still hire people my age?" "What happened?" " Eat something." " Mom, I'm not hungry," " I hit a mailbox." " A mailbox?" "Eat some hot tomato soup." "It's good for you." "I don't want to eat." "I want to talk with you." "You can eat and talk." "Mom, I don't want to eat." "I didn't finish my class today." "You'll finish another time." "Now, eat." " You didn't finish your class today?" " They were farting." " Don't talk like that!" " They had gas." " You could say something." " What?" "To whom?" "I would have." "Great advice, but how to use it?" "I feel bad, taking your advice." "I left class in the middle of my lesson." " You have a good job." " It's bad." " But you like it." " I hate it." "You'd be a professor, if you hadn't quit that university job." "No, I would be a scholar." "So I don't know how to help you." "Eat." "More salt?" "I have to rest, mom." "Rest, that's all." "Sure thing." " You don't listen to me at all." " I do listen: rest." "You can rest now." "I can't rest because I don't know how to." "So, I don't know." "Maybe some pepper?" " It's not good for your kidneys." " I am so tired." "Sure you're tired." "Take a nap." "What makes you so tired, anyway?" "Everything." "Me." "My life." " Life?" "You're a young man!" " I'm 49. 7 times 7!" "I'm 70. 10 times 7." "Your whole life is ahead of you." "If I could have my whole life" " ahead of me ..." " You had." "I won't live twice either." "The soup is getting cold." "It's frozen, you have to scrape off the butter." "It'll spread easier." "I always scrape it and always hear that I have to." "I can't stand it!" "I just wanted to say that it's frozen and you have to scrape it." "Get yourself some overhead lamps!" "Mom, I will have the kind of lamps that I like." "This doesn't bother me." "I've told you I hate overhead lights." " That's the first time I've heard this." " Because you never listen." "I always do." "Never!" "I feel like you've never heard even one word." "My whole life." "Not a word!" "Ever!" "You never listened." "Did you disinfect the cut?" "Eat, your soup is getting cold." "Yes, I put Neomycin on it." "Soup!" "..." "Soup!" "..." "I'm afraid I'll kill my mother." " Why do sons kill their mothers?" " They are afraid that mothers will kill them first." "Now I feel sorry for her." "She stayed alone." "I feel bad, sad again." "Soon we'll need a guard dog everywhere we go." "There are two solutions." "Medication to help you sleep." "Or - my strong recommendation - psychotherapy - long and painful for you." "Painful?" "Why?" "Because you might learn something about yourself." "I don't think so, I already know what is wrong with me." "Eventually we would discover who you are and what you're willing to do." "You'd have to resurface, reborn once again, as a human being independent of your mother." "No, she won't like this." "For the first half of my life I was afraid of her, now I worry about her." "Every day I worry I'll die first, and then I won't get to live alone, liberated from her shadow, even for one day" "I hope I chose the right one." "I did everything to not disappoint her." "But she never forgave me when I left the university to be a regular teacher." "It's my calling." "Paranoia." "It's the window, the front, the side." "Why must I always take part in that kind of paranoia?" "You can't offer me any pills?" "No." "You gave my friend some epilepsy pills and he felt good." "No." "He slept so well." " No." " Like a baby." "I'm sorry." "Couldn't you visit doctor Malejko for your problems?" "For my psychological problems?" "He's a bone surgeon." "But you've always trusted him." "I'll visit him when I'll have a leg to be cut off, not a head." "It's a waste of words." "Nobody really listens ..." "She was always arguing about every detail." "She wasted my life, and I can't even be angry at her." "You can't go to trial with Honegger or Pinochet." "I will give you something that works." "Tegretol for my craziness, and Melleril for suicidal thoughts." "When you have that thing ... about windows   wanting to jump out." "Now I can visit my son on the 15th floor." "Keep that dog away from me!" "You poke that thing on your head ..." "I am just fixing my bandage!" "Must I freeze because of the dog?" "Shouting makes him nervous." " Hi, son!" " Hi." "I'm exhausted, I have to rest." "Why am I telling that to her?" "Sure." "You have to rest." "I'm off to a Freedom League meeting." "In those clothes?" " Clothes?" " The robe?" "Your belt is dragging." "Sure." "Mom bought you brioches, son." "For dinner." "Chocolate ones." " Mom bought you brioches." " Brioches." "Brioches?" "For dinner?" "Are you fucked in your head?" "In my ass." "You always had problems with it." "Stick a peg in it." "It'll calm you down." "Pig ..." "Piece of shit!" "I'm getting married." " To a dog?" " To a shit." " A bitch should marry a dog." " Don't hide the phone!" "Why do you need a phone?" "You have hands to masturbate with." " Let's review your English." " Come on, dad." " Let's conjugate 'to be'." " Leave me alone." " Conjugate it." " Have mercy." " You don't know how ..." " I do." "Then do it." "Come on ...'I ...'" "'... am.'" " 'I am ...'" " I know ... 'I am'" "'You are'" " 'You are' Let me say it." " But you're not saying it ..." " Because you ..." " What?" " You're stressing me out." " I'm stressing you out?" "Fuck!" "You've been studying English for 5 years!" "All this for nothing." "Don't be so pathetic." " So, what kind of verb is it?" " What do you mean?" " What kind of verb?" " Just a verb ..." " Auxiliary." " What kind?" " Auxiliary." " What kind of auxiliary?" "'To ...'" "'Am?" "'" "'To be, or not to fucking be.' Have you heard of that?" "No one can fix a hood as well as your daddy." "I guess that's true." "It's pretty fuckin' cool." "It's swell." "Deep in my heart I'm afraid of this crazy battle of the generations." "My father must have struggled with it as I do now, and I guess this madness won't end with me." "I was stupid to buy you that bright orange 'lehvees' jacket." " Levi's." " You'll get killed because of it." " It's cool." " So many robberies ..." "Robberies!" "Dad ..." " We'll see when you get married ..." " Never." " ... and have children." " I won't marry or have children." "Stop fucking around, Dad." "You shouldn't talk to a child like that." "You'll get married one day." "Follow your heart." " A church wedding is a great experience." " You and mom never had one." "Exactly!" "But I really want it even though I have no candidate." " I won't have a church wedding." " Why not?" "Because if the relationship falls apart, you can't get a divorce." "Don't assume that." "Think, it's for your whole life." "But a marriage needs to be tended, like a garden." "What's the best-known piece by Chopin?" "Polonaise in A-flat major." "Revolutionary Etude." " The one you recognize when you hear it." " Must be the Etude." " Supposedly, he wrote it for some chick." " A chick?" "That's something else." " I wonder if he got her." " If he did what?" "I mean - if he fucked her ..." "I've got to go." "I'm in a hurry." " What's the fuckin' hurry, dad?" " I'm in a fucking hurry home." "You're in a fuckin' hurry home?" " That's fucking right." " What happened to you?" " I fucking hit myself on the mailbox." " Cool!" "If I could meet Elzbieta, my first love," "I'd start over again with her." "I see other women but not her." "It's been years since I ran away from the love of my life." "Some broad is pushing me out of the store like a disgraced child." " Why are you pushing me out?" " You?" " You've been rudely pushing me." " I was holding my hand like this." " What a broad!" " I'm not a broad!" " Hag!" " Act like a gentleman!" " You suck!" " You're talking to a lady." "Lady?" "How about a bulldozer pushing me out the door." "I would touch a man, but not a vampire." "She pushes me and she slurps on a candy right in my ear." " Vampire!" " Bulldozer!" "Fat bulldozer!" " Vampire!" " Tank!" "Heavy tank!" " Vampire!" " Noisy tank!" "Crazy vampire!" "Fuck." "How would I know if her ass will fit in it?" "Fucking hell." "They come here to perform, not to buy." " Is this the last copy of Kobieta?" " Some bitch yells in my ear." " That's the last one?" " Yes!" "Though I don't need the Kobieta ..." "I'll take it." " You really need it?" " I'm gonna look through it." "And I'm leaving, happy ..." "And all these fucking children!" "I can't stand it." "the Left the Right Street Street" "This is fucked up." "A demonstration with 7 people." "In a democracy you can even demonstrate alone." " What stupid slogans." " That's called tolerance." " Fuck you!" " And you, too." "Watch out, or you'll get hurt." "You, too." "Can't people pick up after their pets?" "It's a disgrace." "Dog and human shit are the same." "What if I started shitting on lawns, in kids' sandboxes, on walkways, sidewalks, park alleys?" "Got to buy a pellet gun." "I don't have time to answer my mail." "I get mail from Rossmann, Pizza Hut." "Maybe my luck will change." "This is a disgrace." "I can buy the cheapest gold and diamonds!" "This will be your lucky year!" "'" "Is there anyone below me in this world?" "It's 2:23PM" "I make tea so it can steep for 7 minutes." "Then I stir: 3 to the right ... 4 to the left." "That's 7." "I hate to throw away inserts - When I do that I see whole forests falling:" ""Your Home" - an oak falls, "Tourism" - a linden, "Announcements" - a spruce, like a winter flower..." ""Auto-Moto" - like huge masts, pines fall," ""Supermarket" - a larch, a maple - "Real Estate", and "My Computer" - a beech gets uprooted." "Every insert bleeds with the trees' sap." "Oh, my friend died." "I am afraid I'll die suddenly and leave my son with nothing." "You have to teach the child to swim, not leave him with a life jacket." "I am sick and tired of all this, deadened by food." "And I feel like I'm departing ..." "Get away." " Shall I play?" " Go the hell away!" "What?" "To hell with this." "Nobody wants to listen to this." "The war was over a long time ago." "Where have you been hiding?" " Who are you playing for?" " For the people!" "You know what I do when I want to listen to music?" "This!" "From Cocker to Mozart!" "I can play some Chopin if I want to!" "And you're playing me banned songs." "Get the fuck out of here with your accordion!" "I'll shoot you in the ass!" "Calm down ..." "What am I supposed to do?" "Drink coffee at midnight, after I take my sleeping pills?" "If I could only meet my first love Ela again ..." "I'd start everything over ... from the beginning." "What is this?" "What?" "This thing is shitting right under my window!" "It's only a dog ..." "So?" "His shit is less shitty than a human's?" "Get lost!" "Easy, Bobik, easy." "What If I were to shit under your window?" " What are you doing?" " I'm shitting like your dog." "Are you crazy?" "Dogs and humans should live by the same rules." "We have equal rights." "I'm a poet now, and I'm writing a poem." ""In the midst of the garden sits a royal pair ..."" "If I don't pick it up, I can't write, but if I reach for it, I can't write because the messed sofa will disturb my concentration." "But I can't reach it without moving." ""In the midst of the garden sits a royal pair ..."" "I feel irritation instead of inspiration." " Feel that?" " Yes I do!" " And this?" "This hurts the most." "Today the right." "Yesterday the left." " That?" " Yes, these are needles." " And here?" " Feels like electricity?" "Yes, and it's pissing me off today." "Acupuncture is good for you, good electricity." " Do you feel this?" "Does this hurt?" " Like hell!" "Lie there for 20 minutes." "Don't move a finger." "Who would listen to that yellow doll?" " Jesus!" " Don't you move!" " Fuck." "My leg is stiff!" " Stiff leg." "So move your leg." "How old?" "49. 7 times 7." "You'll live to 77." "Yeah, right." " What's your name?" " Miauczynski, Adam." "You grind your teeth a lot." "My jaw gets locked." "I drink coffee and grind on my jaw more and more." "Someday you won't open your mouth." "I'll make you a mouthpiece to wear at night." "And if I swallow it?" "Drop your pants." "Doctor ..." "This lady is asking if you'll see her today." "Stick it out." "Where does she live?" "Pilsudski Street, formerly Mickiewicz St." "Trouble urinating?" "Stick it out!" "Don't bend like a defecating dog." "Not trouble, but I don't pee like ..." "A fire truck?" "I'll see her." "And I feel I don't pee everything out." "Make her wait." "How long have you had this?" "Since childhood." "I had to make sure I peed everything out before sleep." "Everything is good, you have a young prostate." "Keep your head up." "Be proud." "Chin up!" "See, you look like someone important!" "Afraid of a little dachshund." "Dumbass!" "You're a dumbass!" "You shithead!" "Kicking a cripple!" "Jesus!" "He hit me!" "Marian!" "Jazek!" "The locals will kill me." "I'll deny everything, shave my mustache." "I'm fucking unassertive again." "Am I crazy?" "If I could only meet Ela." "I'd be saved." "If I could find my first love, everything would change." "Everything would be possible once again." "There would still be a chance ... a small one." "Ela - my first and only." " My God!" "Déjà vous!" " Déjà vu." "Ok, Déjà VU!" "I want to die." "Or I'll leave town." "But on the sixth?" "I took some light pants, not those dark depressing ones." "Maybe I'll write something on the train." "And English." "I still cannot grasp it." "Did I shut it?" "Good, it's locked." "Did I turn off the gas and water?" "Did I?" "All of them?" "The gas?" "Yes!" "Toilet, behind the mirror?" "Yes." "But under the sink?" "I've already flooded that cocksucker below me once." "How do old people manage to turn these tight valves?" "Fuck, I forgot to sit down." "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 ..." "Fuck!" "I didn't kiss Jesus' feet before I left." "First - pick a compartment." "Non-smoking of course." "There's nothing worse than inhaling cigarette smoke for a few hours." "Do these doors stay closed while the train brakes?" "Do they slide smoothly so I can get out to go pee?" "Do the lights flicker when they're on?" "If I sit with my back to the front of the train," "At least you won't catch cold." "And the window is open, so everybody will come here." "A window seat, facing the front - it's a prize for somebody with an annoying kid." "But if I take the front seat, I'll catch cold." "If I sit backwards and put my bag in front some sweaty fat-ass will sit next to me." "I'll just sit backwards, it's slightly nauseating ..." "But safest in a crash!" "I'll say the seat will free up soon, and not distract myself." "Don't engage in a conversation." ""In the midst of the garden sits a royal pair ..."" "I know he'll sit next to me." "Blinds." "What?" "Madwoman." "You're mad." "May I?" "Yes, but why?" "It's midday, 4PM." "It's not even 6PM yet." "You're crazy." "I'm ashamed of you." "You're crazy." "Why do you want to close it?" "It's 4PM." "It's summer, and not even 6PM yet." "I hate you!" "It's 15 minutes to departure and I'm already all sweaty." "I was supposed to write a poem." "To hell with writing and reading." "I don't even understand the sports column." "I'm totally wasted." "I'm leaving you, crazy madman." "Just keep sitting here, crazy shit!" "Maybe I attract freaks." ""In the garden ..."" "Excuse me, are those seats available?" " Indeed." " Sisters!" "The shit smells like dog food." "I'm waiting for the dog like a convict waiting for execution." " Is this seat taken?" " This one?" "Crazy broad." "The doggie won't be a problem." "He'll be on my lap." "He leaves wet spots on my light pants." "Jesus!" "They're near the zipper!" "What does it look like I was doing?" "I can't cover it up the whole time." "Nice ass." "Shaped like a pear." "It's so different." "A wifely style." "I hate an ass in the shape of an apple ... or a plum." ""In the midst of the garden sits a royal pair ..."" "Last one." "Last one." " At night I sleep." " Me too!" " And I walk by day." " Me too!" " At night I sleep ..." " Like a chicken." " And I walk by day." " Me too." "A wife - a bride, a stupid ass." " I eat breakfast, too." " Really?" "Really?" " And I shop in a store." " Really?" "Cool!" " I eat breakfast, too." " Really?" "Really?" " And I shop in a store." " Really?" "Cool!" "Where are these weird people coming from?" " I had a date!" " Wow!" "Really?" " He kisses and kisses ..." " Awesome!" " I had a date!" " Wow!" "Really?" " He kisses and kisses ..." " Awesome!" " I had a date!" " Wow!" "Really?" "They won't stop for 10 seconds." "Impossible. 10 seconds to 5." "And there are 3hrs 48mins - that makes 11 hours 24 minutes." " He kisses and kisses ..." " Awesome!" "You stupid cows." "Uneducated chicks." "Fucking morons!" "I'm just waiting for it." "Could you take my luggage down, please?" " No." " What?" " Excuse me?" " No." "Nobody helps me." " You're a man!" "Women should have equal rights." "I really support the concept." " And you are a real woman." " But you are not a real man." "A man is real if he takes out the garbage, fixes the outlet, or gives up a seat on a bus or a tram." "I feel no need to be a real man." "But you are a real man." "Since I can remember these seats always ... fall down by themselves." "Why?" "Through the decades, imbeciles supervised by imbeciles put a toilet so close to the wall that its seat must fall down." "Decades, Jesus Christ." "Is this a bad metaphor for the Polish fate?" "First class." "To hell with money." "At least there are no pets or kids." "Feels like Heaven." "Go on!" " I've got the ace." " I'll play this card." "I'll be the first one on this beach." "I will be second, because ..." "My fuckin' neighbor is standing all happy, just after a swim." "If I run away, he'll catch me later and spoil my peaceful rest." "I would have to rest once again." "Better to face him now." " Good morning!" " Excuse me?" "Welcome!" "Finally we have some sun." "Sun, finally." "What?" " Sunshine!" "Sun!" " How is it going?" "I wasted my whole life." "I ran from my only love, and married someone I didn't love." "My son, the only person I really love, was raised in the hell of my marriage just as I was raised in the hell of my parents' marriage." "The thought that my son will be as unhappy as I am breaks my heart." "Teaching - my mission in life, turned out to be an underpaid job." "My loneliness kills me." "Nobody, nothing waits for me any more." "I can't see any future." "I'm a mess." "Rejected." "Totally destroyed." "Exhausted, though I accomplished nothing in life." "I need a break, without having reached my goals." "I have to rest, no matter what." "Aha, I hear nothing." "I have a good ear but I only hear some murmurs ..." "Maybe it's the sea?" "I must run so my wife won't yell at me." " Have a good vacation." " Thank you." "What a relief." "The sound of the sea, and emptiness ..." "It's wonderful, I'm resting." "Everyone keeps to themselves." "She talks." "She talks and talks, but he's in his own world." "They're coming this way." "7, maybe 13 meters away on an empty beach!" "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "The sound of the sea was always so calming to me." "At least I'm resting." "Shit..." "Is this a beach for dogs?" "I will kill this fucking dog." "I will kill kill kill him!" "He'll be dead meat!" "Lay down." "Rest." "I have to rest!" "Get lost!" "Get the fuck away!" "There was a time I swam straight ahead." "Now I paddle around like a lost puppy." "And finally all is silent." "It must be some damn bird." "They left him alone on a beach in the evening." "Can't he do anything but squeak?" "I need a rest!" "I need to rest here." "When a soldier falls face down it's the end." "Or maybe the opposite?" "You look bad." "It is the opposite." "On the back - that's the end." "I'm dying." "So I won't be young any more?" "I won't correct my mistakes?" "I hoped I'd meet my first love again." "What a gloomy joke ..." "We have to make our decisions when we are young and stupid." " I am dying, mom." " You're not." "You're young." "It's not easy to die." "Drink some milk." "It'll do you good." "Or eat some soup!" "Tomato soup, you like it." "Bury me with my son!" "He's alive, you moron." "Stop it, mom." "I'll bury you with me, Dad." "I always thought I'd live forever." "I am so ashamed of dying." "It is so humiliating." " He was so wise." " And now he is dying." " He was so wise." " And now he's dying." " He was so wise." " And now he's dying!" "Even now I'm still dreaming of meeting my first love." "We will live happily ever after." " You hit the mailbox?" " She knows and understands at once, without what happened." " What's your name?" " Elzbieta." " Ela!" "My God!" "At last!" " We'll always be together." " I like to be silent until noon." " I'll adjust to that." "I hate when a woman watches soaps." "And I'm sure you like TV and the soaps." "No." "If we had a Committee investigating crimes against the Polish language," "Polish TV would be condemned at once!" "I didn't think about that." "TV is responsible for the "kind of" mentality." "Nothing is clear, only this fucking "kind of" clear." "Indeed." "How about the proper accent?" "Again TV spreads errors in Polish pronunciation." "They say: war continues instead of: war continues." "Not: weather for picnic, but: weather for picnic." "You are right!" "Not: in the WHOLE of Poland, but: in the whole of POLAND." "Fuck!" "I'll turn off the sound." "I can't stand those fucking buzzers announcing TV ads, and excited actresses advertising washing powder or pads." "I will watch with the screen turned off." "But I am a quick lover." "Nerves." "I'll calm you down, and you'll do it as long as you want." "Actually, I don't have time for a woman in my life." "I dream about her, but have no room or time." "I don't need any time." "I'm only your dream." "If that's the deal, this is OK." "Maybe I should find another fantasy woman?" "She might be even better." "But how to escape from this one?" "Don't leave me now!" "Don't leave me now!" "Don't leave me!" "I have to create something, finally." ""In the midst of the garden sits a royal pair ..."" "Unexpectedly, I feel much better." " Where are you coming back from?" " From where?" "Who, the Lithuanians?" "Once inside the door I turn the TV on to escape ... to kill the loneliness." "I have to make dinner." "Who said I need to do anything?" " Fuck dinner." " I don't need to eat or sleep." "But I'll fix it anyway." "Fuck!" "Don't get all hot and bothered there!" "Stop it now!" "Don't risk dandruff on your sweetheart's lips!" "Total cleaning with "Szkorbudent-total"" "ANTI BUG" " Do you want a pipe?" " No." "A dick." "When you fart unexpectedly ..." "Anti-Fart will save you." "You smell nice." "What's that?" "Penis extract." "Penis extract ..." "Smell the breeze!" "Anizvag Vaginex - is 40% better for vagina and anus muscle exercises." "1, 2, 3, 4 ... 5, 6, 7." "For how long will sitting down with the smoke and remote be my only pleasure?" "I was everyone in my thoughts ..." "Except a Commie." "Osteoporosis." "Pollakiuria." "Urinary track infections." "Hemorrhoids." "Prostate." "And several cancers:" "prostate gland, anus, urinary bladder, lung, throat, pancreas and skin." "I am terribly afraid of cancer." "I am afraid of everything." "Parkinson's." "Alzheimer's." "I'm afraid of the night." "Maybe not, but I can't go to bed." "Even tired and sleepy, I feel anxious." "Why must this day end?" "Will nothing else happen?" "Before I go to bed, when evening approaches," "I will pray to God in Heaven for the worst for my neighbor!" "I ask for God to give him hell." "I am a little Pole, angry, envious and evil." "What's my sign?" "Big bloody eyes." "I pray to God, Jesus, Mary and Josef to destroy that motherfucker my neighbor and countryman." "My fucking enemy." "Let them rob his garage, may his wife cheat on him." "Let them destroy his store or punch him on the nose." "Let his daughter go out with a nigger and may he suffer all disasters." "I wish him AIDS and cancer." "That's what Poles pray for." "I thought Lithuanians!" "What Lithuanians?" "I didn't grasp it ..." "I was thinking all evening." "Then, illumination!" "Where are the Lithuanians returning from, right?" "At first I did not understand." "They're back from a trip." "I drop by because you talk to me in verses and I'm like a moron." "Where are the Lithuanians returning from ..." "Did I wake you?" "I'm going to bed now." "I thought:" "Lithuanians!" "I couldn't wait until morning!" "I had to tell you they are returning from a trip!" "So you've told me already." "I would like to sleep now." "I am sorry!" "I didn't start it." "It was you who asked, so I came with an answer." "It was good, the Lithuanians!" "I was joking." "Fuck the Lithuanians!" "Why fuck now?" "Fuck?" "You start and then you get mad?" "Good night!" "I think of suicide." "I haven't done it, because of my son." "Or maybe I'm weak?" "Maybe it's my mom telling me ..." " One has to live." " So I do." "Half a Tussicodin for smokers' cough, A painkiller, also because of smoking," "Half a Lerivon for depression and a good night sleep." "Imovan to fall asleep, and Stillnox to stay asleep." "Aspirin, just in case." "For better sleep, I recommend a glass of warm milk, then a cool shower and off to bed." "Or, don't sleep one night, respond to your old mail all night." "I would have to write" "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 ... 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13!" "One more time." "Just to make sure." "What the fuck is that?" "A horse?" "Did you rent a room to a horse?" "That's a rolling marble!" "Are you crazy?" "What are you doing with this marble?" "I can hear it inside my brain!" "A marble?" " I sleep underneath you." " Below me?" "You push it too far, Jesus." "My dear friend on this journey." "You built this dark mound to lead the life of a termite." "Protected from the sunlight." "Closed in your sad rigid rituals." "Even if they make you mad, these rituals became your shield against the winds, the waves, against stars and feelings." "Every day you struggle to forget your human condition." "The clay you are molded from has dried out and hardened." "No one will ever find in you an astronomer, musician, altruist, poet or human" "who lived for even one day." "Cast" "Subtitles positioning:" "Marcin Lesniewski" "Print-out:" "Adam Szostak"