"Tromaville, New Jersey, 1984." "Melvin Junko, a mop wielding healthclub janitor, a scrawny, skinny, weakling of a nerd fell into a misplaced barrel of toxic chemical waste." "Melvin was suddenly transformed into a hideously deformed creature of super-human size and strength." "He became the Toxic Avenger, the first super-hero from New Jersey." "The Toxic Avenger, or Toxie as he is affectionately called, went on to crush crime, beat corruption" "and blast chemical waste in his hometown of Tromaville." "ARer cleaning up Tromaville, in 1 988, The Toxic Avenger rose from beneath rubble of retirement to challenge the evil Chairman of Apocalypse Inc." "Toxie's awesome adventure took him on an outrageous journey to Japan where Toxie continued to crush crime." "In Japan, Toxie learned the spiritual discipline of Sumo wrestling." "And the power, beauty and grace of Sumo made him better able to rip bad people's heads off." "Now, evil has returned to Tromaville." "You are about to witness what may be" "The Last Temptation of Toxie." "I can't make up my mind. I can't make up my mind." "Oy, Lionstein." "What?" "How many times I have to tell you?" "You don't put Redneck Zombies in with the Walt Disney." "Did you see the Redneck Zombies?" "That was gruesome." "Gruesome!" "You want gruesome, you should see my mother-in-law." "That's gruesome." "Drop those video cassettes or I'll blow your brains out!" "My boy, my boy." "Listen up." "Listen up good cause we got some big news for youse." "You guys suck." "Pick up the phone." "Please pick up the phone." "Please don't hurt me. I'll do anything you want." "Just don't hurt me." "What do you guys want?" "Shut the hell up." "There's too much variety in this store." "Now that this is a company town, you're all gonna rent company tapes." "Right?" "From now on, only the top twenty video tapes will be available in this store." "The Top Five= The Apocalypse Self-lmprovement Tapes from Apocalypse." "We like having a lot of choices." "We don't want lust top twenty." "We like those movies from Troma." "Screw Troma movies." "Wait a minute." "Do you want variety?" "Do you want choice?" "Well there's plenty of variety here=" "MGM" "Columbia and Paramount" "And we're the Warner Brothers." "Tear it up!" "No!" "Please pick up the phone." "It's amazing how they make this cardboard piece of shit look real." "Piece of shit." "Look what they're doing." "You know dude, you don't have much intestinal fortitude." "Oy, oy, oy." "Tore your guts out." "Skip to my lou, skip to my lou my darling." "Excuse me folks." "How about checking out or adult section?" "Good looking guy." "Very good." "Very good." "Hey faggot!" "You talking to me?" "Hit 'em." "Kick 'em." "Don't touch that dial." "You must die." "Alright." "People of Tromaville, The Toxic Avenger is back and better than ever." "The Toxic Avenger's back." "He's a real man." "Thank you Toxie." "You saved us." "Yeah." "But it was a rough day." "Even for a hideously deformed creature of super-human size and strength." "What a mensch." "Yes, I was a Toxic mensch. I was back fighting crime, corruption and toxic waste." "But it wasn't always that way." "Who would believe that lust a few short months ago I had actually joined the forces of evil. I had actually broken my oath to protect the little people of Tromaville. I, the Toxic Avenger had become a bad dude." "A toxic trouble-maker." "It's a long story, so you better sit back." "This is how it all began." "On the surface, everything seemed terrific." "Tromaville was safe, happy and prosperous." "This period became known as "The Golden Age of Tromaville."" "My mom was pretty proud of the fact that everybody in Tromaville liked me." "My mom was even prouder of the fact that Claire, my non-seeing girlfriend who you remember in Toxic Avenger Part Two, was now going to be my fiancee and live with me forever in Part Three." "You got any change?" "Mommy's little Melvin had finally grown up." "Good day, Officer Lloyd." "Yes, on the surface, everything seemed wonderful." "But deep inside of me were swirling feelings of horrible insecurity." "I was now twenty-five years old." "But who was I?" "What was I?" "Yes, I had rid Tromaville of all evil, but now I had nothing to do." "There weren't even any parking tickets to give out." "I, the Toxic Avenger, was reduced to preventing old ladies from cheating at cards." "Naughty, naughty." "Or occasionally I found myself trying o get naughty children to eat their lima beans" "I couldn't even get that right." "Oh brother." "How low could a super-hero go?" "Claire and I were living in the same old dump. I wasn't bringing in any money as a super-hero and I became a terrible burden living off Claire's welfare check." "Claire had a brilliant career going as a dental hygienist and she was making very good money." "Until one day she had a tragic accident involving mouthwash rendering her blind." "Hi honey, I'm home." "I think I'm losing my edge, Claire." "Oh, Toxie, don't say that." "If only that Lavoris hadn't splashed in my eyes, I could see to help you." "Aw, if I could only see." "Hey!" "Wait a minute. I don't believe this." "Wait a minute." "You're gonna see." "Dr. Ron Goldberg says that your sight can be restored." "Dear blind person, conditions caused by retinitis pigmentosa found in association with the wide angle glaucoma may now be successfully treated due to the modifications of the argon laser." "I can't believe it. I can't believe it." "It doesn't matter, Melvin." "It's worth anything." "This procedure has been perfected on cave bats." "It's been tested on them in labs and fiRy percent of them lived." "I can't believe it. I can't believe it." "Uh oh." "There's a catch." "Three hundred and fiRy seven thousand dollars?" "I actually thought I'd be able to see." "Oh well." "It was a nice dream, anyway." "I thought at last I was going to be able to see my dear sweet Melvin." "Gee..." "I'm not so sure you'd like what you'd see." "Oh Melvin, I lust know I would." "You're the nicest boy I ever met." "I lust know you're handsome." "What's the matter, baby?" "Nothing. I lust don't want to lose you." "C'mon, we don't know this operation is dangerous." "And besides, at that price, it's only a dream unless I win the _maville Times' Rich and Famous Sweepstakl I'm happyiust the way I am. I look at it this way, I'll never have to see uglinesss" "or war or poverty or pollution or the Cheverolet Nova." "but it was a mess." "No way." "This time we're gonna get you that operation 'cause I'm gonna get that job." "You're going to get a lob and I'm going to be able to see." "Because of my love for Claire, I took the only job available." "The most horrifying and humiliating iob known to mankind." "I became a representative of the Internal Revenue Service." "Hello, taxman's here." "Oh." "Ow." "Stop it." "Stop." "Stop throwing things." "Cut it out." "Watch out." "Go back home." "Go back to the iungle." "We got him." "I tired moonlighting in the high tech world of video cassette sales," "Sir, here. I got the tapes you wanted." "Oy vey." "God in heaven." "Every time you touch the tapes, they melt." "I told you a thousand times, don't touch the tapes." "Look what you've done." "Shmuck, you're fired." "My iob changing automobile mufflers was a real bust." "Let me reconnect these two little wires." "Hey, what's that smell?" "Since Claire and I were failing in the material world, we decided to spend more time devoting ourselves to the spiritual world." "Amazine grace" "How sweet the sound" "That saved a wretch" "Like me kneel down and worship me# " Thus endeth the lesson." "I once was lost" "But now am found" "Do not be tempted by evil." "The reading for today is from Mathew four, verse eight and nine, and I quote. "The Devil taketh Jesus up to an exceedingly high mountain and showeth him all the kingdoms of the world." "And the Devil sayeth unto him, 'All these things I will give thee if thou wilt" "I was so depressed and insecure that I began having nightmares." "Phoo!" "Where's my deodorant?" "Hi guy." "Hey, you do stink." "But that _dorant's not going to help you." "Remember m lt's Melvin, the way you used to be before you fell into that toxic waste and became a hideously deformed creature of super-human size and strength." "Look at ya, ya bum." "Ya can't even get a job." "I had a lob, even though I was a mop boy at a health spa." "Look at ya." "Tromaville doesn't need you anymore." "I betcha can't even get it up, can ya?" "I betcha can't even get a woody." "I could always get it up, even though I was always alone." "Give me a shot at Claire." "I wanna boff her." "C'mon man, c'mon." "Let me boff her and show you what a real man can do." "Homo, wimp, geek. I oughta kill you." "All these things I will give thee if thou will fall down and work for me." "Look at you." "You can't get a lob." "You're a bum." "You can't get a job." "You can't get a lob." "You can't get a lob." "You can't get a job." "Let me boff Claire." "Let me boff Claire." "Melvin, what is it?" "What is it Melvin?" "Oh, it was horrible." "It was horrible." "I couldn't stop falling." "I lust kept falling and falling. I couldn't stop." "Oh, poor Melvin." "You're very frustrated." "What can I do to relieve you, baby?" "Claire?" "Yes, Melvin?" "Where's my blanky?" "Right here, Melvin." "My good news is that the newly formed five families federeation has successfully I know it always makes you feel better, Toxie." "While my depression and insecurity led me to experience unbelievably realistic nightmares, they were only nightmares." "But across the river, in the big city, there was a giant _orporation called Apocalypse Incorporated, and it was creating a nightmarish reality." "used their drug network to sell ioactive grenades to all the third world countr" "Our pilot program in the North Seas is going well." "We're dumping thirty tons of" "Well, we'll lust have to do away with them." "PCB's per week." "And even better, we're dumping seventy-five tons of radioactive isotopes per day in the Atlantic." "An excellent record." "I am pleased to report that our profits from the Above Land Subsidiary, is real good." "And we are now pumping massive doses of radiation high in the sky." "Of course there are still some Sierra Club sissies in Congress who are afraid of contamination up there in space." "But we all know that's baloney, right?" "Yeah, right!" "I think that at this point, if there's anyone we still can't buy off." "Good." "Very good." "Yes." "Excellent." "Thank you." "Very impressive." "for a bunch of rank amateurs!" "Who do you think you're talking to here?" "I'm going for something bigger than that." "Now, ever since we lost Tromaville to the Toxic Avenger," "Apocalypse Incorporated has been treading water, going nowhere." "Am I getting through to you?" "Is there something that's unclear?" "No." "Good." "Then it's settled then." "You know what I want ladies and gentlemen." "Toxic Avenger." "Delendus est." "From this valley they say you Ieaving. I will miss your bright eyes and sweet smile...." "Claire gave me an appreciation of her most important hobby, music." "And I gave her an appreciation of my favorite pass-time... video games." "And she learned to play very skillfully by ear." "Hey, Toxie baby." "How's it hanging?" "See this new video game, Five Levels of Doom?" "It kicks!" "Meanwhile at the headquarters of Apocalypse Incorporated the plot was thickening and I was to be the cornstarch." "Silence!" "With all the evil, rotten, corrupt, despicably low people in the world, why is it so difficult for me to get some help?" "Well..it's because..." "I mean..." "I tried...to find" "Stop babbling, Malfaire!" "You better get the Toxic Avenger on the payroll boss." "We can work with that." "With some clever maneuvering, we can have this monster working on our very own payroll." "Have the legal department draw up a contract." "But how are you going to convince him to work with us?" "No beast so fierce but knows a touch of pity." "He has a girlfriend, does he not?" "And that girl needs an eye operation, doesnt she?" "Yeah" "Two eyes coming up." "As my emotional tailspins spiralled downward,these radioactive chemicals inside my body were going nuts." "Finally, I decided to end it all." "Perhaps Claire could pick up a few dollars by donating my body to science." "But even at suicide i was a toxic flop." "Oh, Melvin." "How could you even think of taking your own life?" "I know." "It's these chemicals." "They've taken over my life." "What am i saying?" "I dont have a life. I have a half-life." "Whats to become of me, of us?" "Don't talk like that Melvin." "It scares Me." "Anyway, this came for you while you were gone." "It smells important." "It's probably more bad news." "They probably want to repossess this dump." "Here, you read it." "Ok." "It says, uh, you lust won the Nobel" "Peace Prize and the Tromaville Times' Rich" "And Famous Sweepstakes and they're going to give you your own Toxic Avenger TV show." "What?" "Give me that you crazy, silly goose." "Dear" "Out-of-Work Super-Hero." "Great opportunity?" "salary?" "Benefits out of this world?" "What is it, Melvin?" "It's a lob opportunity." "They want me to represent their company and be their spokesperson." "I can't believe it." "Claire, this is what I've been praying for." "I'm so exited." "Look, I'd better jump over there right now." "But Melvin, you should put on a fresh tu-tuuuuu...." "Mr. Chairman, Mr. Chairman." "The Toxic Avenger's here." "And his smelly mop is dripping all over our reception area." "Melvin Junko?" "Yes sir, That's me, sir." "Right on time." "And you brought your leSUMe." "Uh, yes sir, right here." "Health club mop boy, good." "First super-hero from New Jersey, even better." "Special skill, leaping relatively tall buildings with a running start and playing video games." "Fantastic, very impressive." "Mr. Junko, we're looking for a special person to be the spokesman for the Apocalypse Corporation." "Someone with charm, charisma and a nice appearance to act as spokesman and spread the good" "Just what are your policies?" "Our policy, Mr. Junko." "Giving, that's our policy." "Giving to the people what they need." "Fulfilling desires, Mr. Junko." "That's what I've always done best.But you ask yourself, how; it's lust words, but how do you do it?" "By building, by growing,by taking small towns like Tromaville and revitalizingthem into thriving industrial metropolises." "But I always thought Tromaville was nice the way it was." "But any place can be nicer." "Everything can be better." "I mean, dont we all strive for more?" "Don't you deserve more?" "And i can offer you wealh and... your taste is something we can work on." "Don't you deserve more?" "I'm a man of wealth and taste." "Melvin Junko, come on up!" "Look out there, my boy." "Let me show you your future." "Ta-da." "Toxic shock!" "No, no,no,no." "No toxic shock." "Just your imagination set free." "Look out there, Melvin." "More than you've ever dreamed of." "A shining world with a Porsche in every driveway." "Chicken McNuggets in every pot." "And you Melvin, smack dab in the middle of it with more than you ever wished for." "Loved by millions the world over." "You'll be more popular than the Beatles and Elvis combined." "That sounds like an awful lot on minumum wage. I didn't say minimum wage." "Who said minimum wage?" "Did I say minimum wage?" "What hideously deformed creature of super-human size and strength works for peanuts?" "Uh, none I guess." "Melvy, your'e a star, bubullah." "All these things I will give thee if though willfall down and work for me." "Where have I heard that before?" "Must be some sort of flashback from that lorn Maiden concert when i was fiReen" "No this is no flashback." "Three hundred nd fiRy-seven thousand dollars." "And it's all yours." "Count it, boy." "Smell it. I bet a smart boy like you could put it to good use." "Buy something nice for your girlfriend." "Something she's had her...eye on?" ":ould pay for her operation!" "You got a deal, IV" "And ,uh, we'll see you, uh, on Monday." "Oh, and uh, Melvin..." "Just sign on the dotted line, right here." "Woops." "Sorry the pen slipped." "Welcome aboard." "Yes, Mr. Chairman?" "Get rid of that mop." "It looks like hell." "Here comes mommy, Melvin." "Melvin it's your mommy." "I Brought your favorite snacks." "Melvin, where are you?" "Wait a second. I'm on the bowl. I'll be right there." "Just let me wipe." "Darling, what's that smell?" "Whoo, stinks in here." "Melvin, have you been eating properly?" "You look mighty thin to me." "Mom, never mind that, mom." "Look at this." "I got my own business card." "Your own card." "Why, Mr. Melvin Junko, assistant to the chairman." "Yeah mom, isn't it great!" "And mom, I get to make special appearences." "And I get to talk to people." "And I get to use all my charm lust like you taught me, mom." "Oooh, it's wonderful." "And I almost forgot the best part." "The piece de resistance, the bank book." "Your own bank book?" "What?" "Three hundred and fiRy-seven thousand dollars?" "Oh, I don't believe it." "And mom, feel the numbers. I had them raised so Claire could feel them." "Aw, you're such a darling boy." "You're so sweet." "Now we can get Claire that eye operation she needs." "I love you mommy." "I love you too darling." "Oh, but Claire, I think I should stay here with you." "And miss your first day at work?" "Oh, Melvin." "It's ok." "And a microwave oven for me." "Aw, I'm so proud of you darling." "It's lust going to be tests today, any way." "And I have the doctor and Mother Junko here." "It'll be ok." "Thats's right, Mr. Junko. I'll take good care of her." "He's a wonderful doctor He's a member of the country club." "Are you sure you want me to go, Claire?" "Oh, Melvin. I love you." "I love you too, Claire." "And I'll be back for the operation." "Ladies and gentleman." "You haven't waited for nothing." "Soon you'll be in the presence of a real leader." "And here he is." "Right on time." "And he's brought you a special surprise, a new employee who you all know and love." "Someone you and I can trust and depend on." "Someone who really knows how to clean up this town." "Hi everyone." "Hi mom." "Now citizens, the Chairman." "Hello, how ya doin'?" "Hi, how are ya?" "Hi people of Tromaville." "Hi everybody.Hi mom." "Hi everybody." "Look, I got a job." "Mayor Cigarface, people of Tromaville." "Listen to me." "Before you pass any quick iudgements, who are you going to listen to?" "A bunch of whining enviornmentalists, who claim to be so afraid of toxic waste, when we all know that waste is the natural by-product of every organic process." "Or are you going to listen to me?" "The one who cares enough about you and your families to build you a new and better Tromaville." "No." "Up yours, up yours." "On so noble enterprise as this, a profit there will be." "Yes Ladies and gentlemen Dioxin means dollars." "Chemicals are cash." "Say it to yourselves." "Hold it down, hold it down." "Just listen." "He knows what he's talking about." "I know that some of you out there seem to think that chemicals are bad." "I submit to you, you are chemicals." "Everything is made of chemicals." "And loin me now in embracing dioxin and all her sister chemicals and everything they represent." "Happiness, prosperity, life." "That, people of Tromaville, is the Apocalypse way." "On my first big day working for Apocalypse, I was so excited about my good fortune that I didn't notice that the Tromavillians were actually hostile to the Chairman." "Had I known then what I know now about the evil excesses of capitalism lncorporated." "But I didn't even read Mad Magazine, much less Forbes and the power elite, I surely would have never joined Apocalypse, or the Wall Street Journal." "How was I to know that the true agenda for Apocalypse, Incorporated was to take over Tromaville and enslave its people?" "Let go of her." "I have to admit, I did think it was strange that the Apocalypse employees in the gas masks were beating my friends senseless; and dragging away even my mother into rehabilitation camps." "But the chairman said that these were the usual malcontents who turned for any cause or function; lust there to interfere with progress." "And I bought it hook, line and sinker." "When my new company put the children to work making agent orange and other chemicals, they told me it was a wonderful thing because all the child ren would be earning minimum wage." "Besides, it would develop their small motor skill." "And they would really" "learn their primary colors." "Come on." "Get up." "Get up." "So you think this is going to be the new home for the blind, do ya?" "Well, you're wrong." "This is the new nerve gas dump site." "Looks great." "Better go check out our boy." "How's he doing?" "Ok." "Not so heavy." "There you go." "Be careful." "One of my responsibities was to get the Tromavillian's to loin the Apocalypse, Incorporated Self-lmprovement Seminars." "I did everything I could to help these volunteers find their way to the right classrooms." "That's it." "Stay in line." "Apocalypse, Incorporated had me doing a little bit of everything." "Move it." "Tear down these crummy homes." "Thanks potato head." "Bye bye." "Why don't you nail that sign down the block." "Nurse, would you dispose of this please." "Of course doctor." "Melvin Junko?" "Melvin?" "Yes Claire. I'm here." "Doctor?" "I'm over here Claire, relax." "Mother Junko?" "I'm here dear." "Melvin?" "Yoo-hoo." "Claire, nothing to be afraid of." "You're going to be seeing all those wonderful things soon." "Just hold very still." "I don't want to poke your new eyes out with these scissors." "Hold very still. I'm getting there." "Just another moment." "Keep your eyes closed until I tell you to open them." "Open your eyes very slowly, that's it." "Melvin it's too horrible." "No Claire, calm down." "Melvin is over there." "Melvin?" "Melvin." "Melvin, you're beautiful." "Claire." "You can see." "You can finally See." "I can see." "This is the happiest day of my life." "Oh Melvin." "Oh, darling." "No I want to see everything." "So this is your big, beautiful love machine." "Yes." "That's one of the advantages of being a hideously deformed creature of super-human size and strength." "When this land-fill is created, it will be the largest chromium waste dump within a thousand miles." "The Toxic Avenger is one of Apocalypse's most promising young executives." "Well done, Melvin." "Melvin!" "I made your favorite breakfast." "Radioactive oatbran." "Melvin." "Melvin?" "Melvin!" "Your breakfast is ready, sweetie." "Heey." "No time babe." "Anyway, I gotta do an egg with the chairman this morning!" "Like wow, look at this." "Waste Vacuum's up three pointers." "Huh?" "Hey, hey." "Don't be so glum." "Soon it's the weekend." "We'll do brunch." "What are you gonna do this morning, babe?" "Well, I thought I'd take a nice long walk and go over and see the environmentalists." "They want me to help them save the Tromaville bird santuary." "But Melvin, what kind of talk is that?" "Do an egg." "Do Brunch." "That doesn't sound like New Jersey talk to me." "Hey, hey, hey, hey." "That's upwardly mobile lingo, ya know?" "But listen, I gotta go, go, go!" "So, like he said, ok." "S'ok?" "OK." "So listen, I got to go." "Oh." "Kisses and hugs." "Remember, you gotta go, go, go!" "Heh, hey." "Yeah!" "Oh, I gotta check _O=11=10,02=OO=19=09,There it is." "There it is!" "It" "Bye-bye." "Heh, heh, heh, heh." "Babe?" "Do an egg?" "Waste Vacuum?" "Mmm." "Can you believe it?" "I don't know." "Oh my God!" "Hey girls." "What's up?" "Hey, hey." "Give Me some." "The worst of it was poor Claire." "The operation opened her eyes lust in time to see her beloved Tromaville overrun with the parasites of corporate greed and the vermin of political corruption." "Huh!" "And I was the cause of it." "C'mon over here." "How much will it take to get both of you off the street?" "Go." "What's going on here?" "Hey you hookers." "Get out of here." "Lousy pimp." "Leave this young man alone." "Whaddya think your doin' here!" "Vomit break." "Vomit break." "C'mon." "Puke or die, you bastards." "Get it up." "Let's go." "C'mon." "Wheel out that stomach." "C'mon, c'mon." "Alright." "Tromavillian Aaaah." "Go Home, puke, come back in 20 minutes. I don't want to see anybody without puke stains." "Before I knew it, I'd become a toxic yuppie on the fast track." "The Tromavillians tried to put on a brave face, and made the best of their mutated environment." "But what does one feed to a creature that is half frog and half duck?" "Worse yet, what would you call it?" "Listen." "Listen!" "I don't care if she's 80." "If she doesn't have the rent at the end of the month, I want her out of there." "Larry, buballah, baby!" "How are ya?" "Melvin. I want to talk to you." "Can't it wait, I'm on the phone." "No." "Well, I gotta go." "Claire's being a nudge." "Ah, yes." "Melvin, something's very wrong." "This company you're working for, I think they're doing evil things" "Don't be silly." "You've changed so much, lately." "You seem so different." "you're lust not yourself, lately." "Well, yes, but..." "How could you badmouth apocalypse?" "I mean, c'mon." "If it wasn't for them, you would still be stumbling around on that cane." "I know, but I'd rather be blind in heavan than sighted in hell." "Tromaville's being destroyed." "And all you can do is listen to executapes morning, noon and night." "Melvin, I think someone is trying to brainwash you." "I don't have to listen to this garbage." "You lust remember, I signed that contract for YOU!" "And I gave up my blindness to see you get involved in a plot to pollute the world!" "?" "Hah!" "What about all the people that counted on you to clean up evil?" "What about all those people in reel 9 of the first movie who stood up for you" "What about the messengers, Melvin?" "You're their hero." "What about all those marvelous people out there in the dark?" "What about your favorite patriots, Melvin?" "is life so dear, or peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price of slavery?" "I know not what course others may choose." "But as for me,..." "Give me liberty, or give me death!" "I'm outta here." "Just walk out the front door and turn your back on humanity." "Phooey on you, toxic traitor." "Boo, toxic bad guy." "Pick on Donald Trump." "Why don't you go out to Exxon." "I felt that my whole world was caving in around me." ": to my favorite place to sit and think, the lun_" "Coming to this place had always comfor ted me." "But now, the old cars, the headlights were staring at me." "The grills were grinning and mocking Me." "Oh, oh, oh, oh." "$351,OOO." "It's all yours." "Ha, ha, ha, ha." "$351,OOO for you." "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha." "Oooh, ooh, oh, ooooh." "All these things...." "Let me boff Claire...." "We won't rescue you..." "Let me boff Claire." "$351,OOO." "Ha, Ha, Ha. $351,OOO." "Ha, Ha, Ha. $351,OOO." "All this can be yours!" "If you will work for me!" "All this if you will fall down and worship me!" "Wait a minute!" "You said worship me." "You said worship me!" "Not work for me." "Where have I heard that before?" "All these things I will give thee if thou wilt kneel down and worship me!" "OH, NOOOOOOOO!" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" "How could I have thought I was helping Tromaville?" "How could I have been so deluded?" "Oh, I can't believe it." "Claire was right." "What've I done?" "Have I sold my soul?" "What've I become?" "I'm evil." "What can I say to make it up to her?" "Can't believe it." "Claire, Claire, Claire, Claire." "Wake up." "Wake up." "Melvin, what's wrong?" "You're shaking." "Don't worry. I'll be alright." "I think your eye operation has helped me to see." "You were right." "Apocalypse is evil." "They do horrible things." "I've got to stand up and fight them." "But how?" "How are you going to do that?" "Well, the sumos taught me that when you face a formidable opponent, you must make the first move." "I'm so proud of you, baby." "But how will you fight apocalypse?" "How will I fight them?" "How will I fight them?" "!" "How will I fight them?" "!" "The old fashioned way, that's how!" "Oh, Melvin!" "Well, that's the whole, horrible, terrible truth." "What a mensh!" "But now I was ready to make amends." "Now I was ready to show the good people of Tromaville that they could look up to me once again as their very own, newly reformed, hideously deformed, super-hero." "But first I had to earn their respect." "As quick as my two feet would take me, I was out there giving my toxic all." "The Toxic Avenger is coming." "Melvin is back." "The Toxic Avenger's back" "The Toxic Avenger's coming." "Melvin, bbbbbb." "Thank you for saving my dog." "Toxie." "Here's your doggie, good citizen." "Helping to undo all the horrible wrongs committed during my descent into the Chairman's clutches." "But now, I was ready to confront the evil chairman on his own turf." "I would mop up the evil in Tromaville and make room for "The Toxic Avenger Part Four!"" "Aah, my new assistant." "Still carrying that mop I see." "Here to clean up the new headquarters?" "Ha, ha, ha..." "Here to clean 'em out!" "Ho, ho." "It was a ioke!" "Melvin, Melvin, Melvin." "What's wrong?" "I thought, uh, we were partners." "You and I had a deal, hm?" "Toxic Avenger doesn't deal with evil." "Well, well. I think our boy knows something." "I think I know who you are!" "A contract is a contract." "And you're a man of your word." "Right, Melvinnnnn!" "I don't care about your dumb contract." "We want you out of Tromaville." "Good citizens of Tromaville, Apocalypse is through." "Chairman, you're history." "Yes, Melvin. I am history." "Ah, ha, ha, ha." "What's happening?" "Oh my God, look at that!" "Oh, you still don't realize who you're dealing with, do you?" "See me as I AM!" "_GHHH!" "Stay back." "Stay back." "I'm totally confused." "Oh!" "The Devil." "You are one ugly amphibian." "Alright, Junko." "Let's party." "No problem. I meant to do that." "What will it be?" "Dark places?" "Magic swords?" "Choose your weapon and your arena." "Oh, I know." "You play video games, don't you Melvin?" "I'm going to show you the Five Levels of Doom." "Earth, wind, water and the Iast one... but nobody gets to the last one anyway." "The let the battle begin." "Ready or not, here we go!" "Level One." "Earth." "This is one load of toxic waste that won't stay buried." "Get him. I'll give you a thousand dollars to run that guy over." "Wait, the budget for this movie's only two million." "Thirty!" "I'll give you thirty dollars to run over that guy." "Get him!" "Get him!" "Run him over now." "Save my son." "The Devil has paralyzed me. I can't move." "That's my son." "Nice work, Mevlin." "But now, we're up to level two." "A personal favorite of mine..." "Fire." "I'll turn Tromaville into ashes." "Oh no we're out of water." "C'mon outta that tu-tu, John Henry." "Now I'm pissed." "Your friends save you." "But can you save your friends?" "Oh, see the little children getting on the school bus." "It's fun and games time." "Don't make a fuss." "Leave the driving to us." "All aboard." "Melvin look." "They're all going my way." "No not the children." "Your battle is with me." "Safety first kids." "Hold on kiddies, we're going into a CUlVe." "Stay calm good citizen." "This is good pie." "That's pork rabbi!" "Hey look." "No." "No." "Look out." "Get out of the way." "Oy." "That got 'em" "Don't be frightened. I'm coming." "How do you like this level of Doom?" "Oh, give up now Melvin, and they live." "Never." "Let's go." "I've got to save them." "Have no fear children." "Toxic's here!" "I can't do this. I'm not Superman." "I got it." "Don't lust stand there, Malfaire." "Shoot him!" "It's iammed." "There." "Alright." "Everybody out." "Quick more it." "Fall bus fall." "Hurry." "The bus is about to fall." "Thanks Toxie." "There you go." "Thank you Melvin." "Don't mention it Glenn." "Get out now or you won't be around to see how this movie ends." "Hurry." "C'mon." "I'm melting." "The witch is dead." "Oh my God the Devil is fixing the bus." "He's putting it back together again." "You may have leR Malfaire flat." "But now you will perish, Avenger." "This next level of doom is a doosie." "Water." "Stop that bus." "Banzai." "You devil you." "Don't slip you." "Don't slip, hang on Melvin." "Don't drive into Bob Tall's Famous Fantasy Acres Mud Bogs." "Oh no." "Oh no!" "Oh God." "It's an old Sumo trick." "They us it whenever they're in a runaway school bus that plunges into a deadly pool of muddy, murky water." "'Scuse me. 'Scuse me, people." "Get out of the way." "I've gotta clean up this dirty mess in Tromaville." "You are becoming an annoying horsefly." "But swatting time is here." "I bring you, courtesy of hell the final level of doom." "The mind is a terrible thing to waste;" "_aste yours. ,03=01 =45=1 9, What's happening 1 so well." "You ought to treat those boils." "Oh, what's the matter, Melvin?" "Got a headache?" "Losing weight the easy way, Melvin." "Pull yourself together, Mevlin." "Oh, no." "Oh Toxie." "Oh, my God." "What's happening to Toxie?" "Melvin, Melvin." "Claire, mommy, Claire." "Julie, Julie. I don't smell nuthin'." "Mommy!" "Mommy what happened to me?" "Oy vey." "You look lust like your father." "Oh, my poor boy." "Here's your Sumo diaper." "Put it on." "Maybe this will help you." "Remember what your sumo friends taught you?" "Oh, little Melvin." "You don't even know where you are." "Are you in Tromaville?" "Are you in Japan?" "Where are you?" "Oh look." "Oh look." "Little Mevlin." "Your girlfriend wants to help." "I denounce you, Satan." "Oh!" "Oh my God!" "I'm blind." "I'm blind again." "Melvin, Melvin." "It's your mother." "What are doing to her?" "ARer all, a boy's best friend is his mummy." "If only I could find that contract." "Oh, if I could find that contract then maybe I could help Melvin." "I don't know where he put it." "If I could lust find the contract then we could clean this this thing up." "Get out of my way, worm." "Look." "Look at him." "Look what's become of the Toxic Avenger." "He's back to the sniveling mop boy you all made fun of." "Where's that brail version of the contract Toxie made for me?" "If I could lust find that contract, then we could clean up this mess." "That's it." "Ah, look." "Isn't he ready for destruction?" "Aren't you tired of this pink tutu'd pansy?" "We're tired of you, Mr. Chairman!" "And ve're tired of vat you're company is doing to our Tromaville!" "We're tired of ground water pollution." "And your sludge." "And the PCB's!" "We're tired of your filthy lawyers and accountants and we're fed up with your perverted investment bankers." "The Toxic Avenger has always played fair with us." "And he's the only toxie waste we need around here." "This town has never had it so good." "If you want him, you've gotta go through us first!" "I order you to go back to your hovels and jump in your beds." "I lust might be willing to forget all this and let you show up for work tomorrow." "Please let us through." "Claire has found a way out of the contract." "Excuse me." "She's found an escape clause." "Claire has found a way out." "Oh, oh my God." "There's an escape clause." "You, you tell them about it." "It's very important." "The force maieure states= Clause Eleven;" "Termination." "The employee's obligation hereunder shall remain in full force for all enternity." "However, said obligations shall be terminated, and this agreement shall be rendered immediately null and void, upon a miraculous act of God." "And God is in the hearts of the people." "It's and escape clause." "What about this?" "It's an escape clause, see?" "What about it?" "So where is he?" "On vacation in the Grand Bahamas?" "I don't see him around protecting his interests." "I'm the only one interested in this dirty little town." "And you're yesterday's waste, pal." "Excuse me, excuse me." "Message for Mr. Junko." "Urgent message for Mr. Mevlin Junko." "Can't you see we're busy here?" "I think this takes priority." "No one takes priority over me." "OH!" "Well, maybe one." "Let's get the hell outta here." "It's the big guy." "Let's get out of here." "Claire." "Claire." "Madonna mia." "Gott in himmel." "Was ist das?" "It's raining." "It's wonderful." "It feels tingly on my body." "It's nectar from God." "It's some healing liquid." "It's sweet." "It's sor." "It's warm." "What's happening little Melvin?" "What's happening?" "Melvin, what, what..." "Beautiful Melvin." "Melvin your back." "There's my son." "I can see. I can see." "I am back." "But now I feel like kickin' some devil ass." "This has gone on long enough, devil." "Oy gevalt?" "I think it's about time that somebody put the fear of God in you." "Be reasonable." "Think of what you're giving up, Melvin." "That's Mr. Melvin to you!" "This is more disgusting than General Hospital." "Are you ok?" "Up you go reverend." "Gee whiz. I've only had my eyes a short time." "And I've seen everything." "I do." "Then I now pronounce you man... uh, monster and wife." "You may now kiss the bride." "Oh, my baby boy." "So me and mommy and Claire walked off into that toxic sunset."