"Southern China, early 20th century." "english subtitle provided by The Nobodies~" "ceiling of the sky~ corners of the earth~ dearest friends mostly gone~ drink this bottle of stall wine to get a taste of what is left~ sun sets beyond the mountains~ fabulous, fabulous!" "advisor Tang are you talking about the food or the song?" "song is fabulous, food is fabulous too all good, all fabulous!" "I made a living all around the country is because of my unique ability to mix brutes with brains not only can I enjoy the luxuries in life but with taste~" "Governor Ma is such a romantic just like" ""wind blows the cloud up high"" "bullshit!" ""Liu Bang" is a despicable coward!" ""strengths to lift mountains and top the world"" "bullshit!" "bullshit, buillshit advisor Tang if you try to kiss my ass you must pass madam first write a poem, write a poem it has to talk about wind, and meat there has to be hotpot, and fog" "beutiful women, and donkey!" "get up, get up, get up let's eat together!" "sing together!" "report to the Governor!" "We the cold-blooded eithteenth star army will escort the Governor safely to the post!" "WE!" "DO NOT EAT!" "missed?" "let the bullets fly for a while" "No.2, No.3 follow me everyone else go catch the horses!" "hotpot?" "dad, I've looked everywhere no money, no booty, and no silver only two men here left alive, kill them?" "where's the money hidden?" "talk you don't speak out before the clock rings head will roll" "cry!" "crying is counting in your time just tell him whatever you know this madam, you are?" "I am Mrs.Governor forgive my rudeness!" "that leaves you the Governor?" "I have money!" "I have money!" "I follow the governor to his new post the governor drowned, we don't have any right now once we get the job!" "once we get the job, we'll have money" "I'll give you another round keep talking from where you bribed the job" "200K and the money?" "spent on bribing what for?" "to make money how much?" "doubled how long?" "one year you want me to fucking wait for a year?" "half, half a year!" "if lucky, a month will do!" "the governor is dead, who's going to take the position?" "me who are you?" "the advisor a fucking advisor dares to pretend to be a governor?" "nobody knows what the governor looks like how many times have you done this?" "twice a year for how many years?" "eight years for 8 years, 8 x 8 = 64, you've made 6.4 million?" "he, he did, the governor made 6.4 million!" "I'm just the advisor, I only get the pocket change!" "never missed?" "no need for muscle, only brains, no bloodshed where's the job this time?" "goose city your train got robbed, and your men all dead, how are you going to report of this?" "I bought the train, I hired the men, nobody will ask nobody will ask don't!" "don't!" "don't take off your mask!" "please don't!" "I know the rules!" "I won't live once I saw your faces please let me go, let me go to goose city" "I'll give you all the money I make!" "all of it!" "my brothers did this gig made not a single dime, does it sound right?" "that's not right you lose a life just by taking a peek at me, does it sound right?" "most definitely not!" "let me borrow those drowned men of yours go ahead!" "they are all worst scumbags of the earth, they deserve it!" "wait, hold on, but what can you use dead men for?" "sometimes the dead are more useful than the living." "advisor, open your eyes and take a look at me no look at me no, no just take a look nonononono advisor, what's your name?" "what's your fucking name?" "last name Tang advisor Tang, I'll be the governor you keep doing your job for me let's go take a walk to goose city madam, how about a ride?" "whatever brothers, to goose city!" "to goose city!" "my brothers had a slip of hand and caused the unfortunate death of your husband" "I am truely sorry" "I've been a widow for the four times already then please don't let the fifth time happen!" "that'll depend on if you got what it takes advisor!" "what's the most important thing about being a couple?" "love!" "can't hear you, say it again!" "loving!" "come, say hello to your new mother lil' six paying respect to mother!" "you make your dangerous living, even take your son along with you?" "his late father was my brother" "I took him under my wings and you are now my mother!" "when we are done with this gig come with us back to the mountains you can still be my mother" ""people go up, water run low!"" "once used to being the Governor living the life of bandits probably won't be so easy" ""once saw the ocean, other water will never impress"" "word!" "then what are we gonna do?" "(big bro, I caught the runner!" ")" "(bring him back from the front, show everybody!" ")" "what we do?" "keep being governors!" "you have to use your brain more brains first then muscles, got that?" "I got it!" "we are now government officials can't act like bandits anymore advisor, what's the most important thing about being the governor?" "endure!" "(goose city) you've tried escaping once if you dare to play me again..." "I get it!" "head will roll!" "let's go" "City girls are soo damn white" "dad, look!" "why did they draw you like that?" "the less resemblence to me, the safer" "Welcome the governor!" "commision!" "I hereby commisioned Ma BangDe to be the governor of goose city commissioned by the Sa Nan Kang province government by the date of the eighth year of the Republic of China, august 28th." "his master Huang has arrived!" "protitious his master Huang!" "this guy Huang SiLang is a mob figure in southern China he's in the human trafficing, opium selling business." "his master Huang is too busy at the moment thus having me, his chief housekeeper Hu Wan!" "his militia martial coach Wu ZhiChong!" "welcome the governor with respect!" ""visitor with vile intent"" "you ARE the visitor" "your master, he's here!" "who?" "yourself long live your master huang!" "I am Yang WanLou, paying my respect counterfeits are the good stuff!" "counterfeits are the good stuff!" "walk a few steps?" "walk a few steps!" "walk with menance walk with swift walk with surrealism" "how is she not scared?" "probably retarded?" "why execute the bandits?" "because they tried to rub the official vehicle, and the governor!" "execute them, to make an example to those who dare oppose to the government!" "the governor has arrived, peace is here!" "the governor has arrived, justise is here!" "advisor, job well done!" "remember I told you sometimes the dead are more usefull than the living?" "definitely, the deads are indeed more useful than the living" ""full of dominating charisma"!" "he's asking for trouble!" "he just fucking got here and already started killing this is not some whimp we can easily scare away" ""act first to take control"?" "no hurry let's play with him a little bit!" "no hurry, let's play with him a little bit!" "shut up!" "shut up!" "shut up!" "shut the fuck up!" "remove his fucking teeth plate them gold just like mine." "madam brother I, this time here for the money only not for the carnal stuff" "we sleep in the same bed but no physical contact" "with this gun here" "If brother I have any misbehavior toward madam" "you can shoot me anytime if madam ask for anything brother I will not dodge neither" "sleep!" ""one day being a couple, hundred days of loving"" "afterall, I just want to be the Mrs.governor who is Mr.governor, I don't give a damn!" "come on, don't be so polite am I?" "of course you are you call this polite?" "you are too polite how can I not be so polite then?" "too late!" "the previous governors have already collected all the taxes for the next ninty years!" "that's around fucking 2010 ad." "we've come to the wrong place!" "actually I kinda like it here already the people here are piss poor, there's nothing to scam" "I never intended to scam the poor if you don't scam THEM, where do you get the money?" "from whoever has money have you been a governor before?" "nope let me show you, let me show you!" "as the governor, you have to come up with cleaver taxing tricks befriend the rich, collect tax money and donations only when the rich have donated, the peasents will then follow once collected the money, return the rich's money all back" "we split the peasents' money 30 - 70 how the hell only 70 percent?" "70% is theirs!" "whether we can keep the 30% or not all depends on Huang's mood who's mood?" "his!" "him?" "!" "I came all the way here just to watch his mood?" "correct!" "I went through all that trouble to rub a train to become this governor correct" "I have to befriend the rich correct and I have to come up with cleaver taxing tricks correct then I have to fucking watch his mood correct how is that different from a beggar begging on my knees?" "if you put it that way bribing government positions is exactly just like begging still, so many are waiting in line to be on their knees" "let me ask you why did I rebel and choose the bandits life?" "it's exactly because my legs are too stiff to kneel!" "oh so you want to make money standing up then you better go back to rubbing" "I don't get it now" "I am already the governor how am I less than a bandit?" "to the peasants, you are the governor but to Huang you are the beggar begging on your knees it's for the money, business, there's no shame shameful!" "very fucking shameful!" "so do you want to stand up or do you want to make money?" "I want to stand on my feet, and make the money!" "not possible!" "not possible?" "not possible!" "can this make money?" "sure, as bandits can this make money?" "sure, on your knees this AND this can I make the money while standing on my feet?" "may I dare to ask who are you, brother No.9?" "I am pock-faced Zhang!" "this is not a tree, stop chopping!" "this is a court drum, installed during Qiang Long's era so many years of neglect it's grown vines all over it to what it is now my dad said it there's a court drum, there must be injustice" "he said he's going to judge a case where is injustice?" "who dares to claim injustice?" "it's been hundred years if you remove the vines and expose the drum you don't even know how much trouble you are asking for!" "stop it!" "where is your dad?" "sleeping with who?" "how is he still sleeping?" "where's the drum?" "I told you not to chop it, see, now the drum is gone!" "drum!" "get away!" "why is it following me help!" "help!" "help me!" "I pitty my wine!" "my good mood is all spoiled because of you!" "I am going to mess you up, some other day!" "drum is broken from all the beatings meaning the two of you have so much injustice to claim" "raise the court who is the victim?" "no victim!" "if you have anything to say then speak forth otherwise case dismissed!" "it's not me, it's martial coach Wu who's the victim!" "I'm too blind to have eyes" "I spoiled coach Wu's wine while dodging the drum ruined his appetite" "I should appologize to coach Wu sorry!" "I've not the victim!" "dare to say you are not the victim!" "kneel!" "he is Huang's militia martial coach you can't ask him to kneel" "I was appointed in the 31st year of Guang Xu by the emporer himself my official ranking is higher than yours you should kneel in front of me!" "kneel!" "kneel or not?" "the fuck with your emporer!" "which emporer?" "have I seen him?" "If you were a civilian scholar he should owe you 200 loud kowtows too bad you are only a fucking martial scholar he only owes you 100 kowtows now his 200 kowtows are done you repay him 100 to call it even!" "but I only did 2!" "it doesn't matter, he owes you 100 are you gonna do it?" "beat him!" "this is good for shit gotta use this!" "please!" "stop!" "I'll do it!" "listen you kowtow, you keep count" "1,2,3,4,5,6... the righteous governor!" "get up!" "kneeling is forbidden!" "even the emporer's gone, nobody's worthy to kneel to!" "I am not worthy to kneel to!" "I've only come to goose city to get 3 things done justice!" "justice!" "and more fucking justice!" "the righteous governor!" "get up!" "kneeling is forbidden!" "now, that's right." "forbid to kneel?" "it wasn't my ass he slapped he's obviously slapping your master's face" "your master, just wait until my ass is healed" "I will settle this score for you myself!" "bring me the noodle vendor the governor enjoys judging cases we are gonna give him some dad, what you did today was awesome you beat the crap out of him makes me want to become a government someday you won't be a governor" "nor can you be a bandit neither when your dad handed you to me before he passed away" "I promised him to make somebody out of you one day so what am I suppose to be?" "be a student, read books, listen to this more there's no sound" "these crooked officials, all they care about is money neglected such a fine record player" "it's fixed now once we are done with this gig" "I'll send you studying overseas 3 years in the east" "3 years in the west 3 years in the south north, and 3 years in the north!" "silly, you were born in the north who played this?" "it sounds like..." "Mozart they call him Mozart here we call him MoZhaTe you can even tell who's playing?" "it depends?" "when?" "when his name is printed on the label" "dad, this Mozart guy how did he play the music into this thing?" "after you are done studying overseas, you will know everything" "then where is this Mozart?" "where can I find him while studying overseas?" "he umm...is far far away from us do you know what to do?" "yes I do do you also know who gave you the order?" "yes I do did I order you?" "yes, your master ordered me me!" "you?" "you, you did!" "I did, I did!" "I can't hear you!" "I wanted to do it myself!" "nobody ordered me, it's all me!" "my savior!" "my savior!" "you talking to me?" "when did I become your savior?" "you spared my life, you are my great savior!" "to repay my mortal debt, I'll save your life for once um?" "keep talking that widow, you can't sleep with her!" "disaster waiting to strike!" "she... really a widow?" "doesn't look like it to me" "I saw her husband drown with my own eyes" "well, she's already a widow" "I can not... let her spend the rest of her life a widow!" "this is the first move within three moves either tell them to fuck off or keep them as dogs" "your master, you asked for me?" "those from the government, they never came?" "not yet the governor doesn't visit the brothel?" "but it doesn't neccessarily make him a good governor" "I don't mess around neither that's why your master can't be the government" "I can't be the governor?" "how can a governor compares to your master?" "governors come and go but your master will always be your master" "you are so sweet with those pretty lips!" "they will come eventually, just remember every piece of useful detail they say must be reported back to me yes leave now, but don't you get too wild like the XiaoFengXian your master, who is this XiaoFengXian?" "how you call yourself a prostitue and you don't know who she is?" "she is the most famous, most renowned, whore!" "off you go now" "the governor must be cuddling with his wife right now most definitely let him enjoys his last sound sleep the governor's son broke the law!" "the tea court welcomes everyone to hear it!" "the tea court?" "isn't my court the lawful court?" "your court is only a decorate here the only lawful court is the tea court!" "brother six you ate two bowels of noodle but only paid for one bullshit!" "I ate only one bowel of noodle paid him for one bowel of noodle!" "how many bowels did he eat?" "two bowels impossible!" "brother six is the governor's son how can he owe you noodle money?" "he did, he ate two bowels but paid for only one the governor wants to give our goose city justice excellent!" "it is exactly justice that I demand today!" "that's right!" "where's justice?" "ask the governor's son!" "why?" "he ate two bowels of noodle but paid for only one this is called injustice!" "since the governor's son cannot live up to the standard." "then the governor's words are nothing but BULLSHIT!" "fuck you!" "brother six... brother six is the governor's son how can he owe HIM noodle money?" "you saw it with your own eyes?" "you piece of trash biting the hands that feed you!" "what?" "your ass don't hurt anymore?" "today we don't discuss ass we discuss noodle only!" "one is one, two is two there's no in-betweens!" "brother six, a man!" "much respect!" "one is one, two is two!" "I ate two bowels of noodle today!" "you paid for one bowel of noodle and ate two bowels you don't have any money?" "I'll pay it for you!" "see that?" "I can afford however many bowels I want!" "but eat only one bowel, pay for only one bowel!" "that much money, how many bowels did he eat?" "!" "why didn't you come clean earlier he demands justice aren't you taking advantage of an honest man?" "!" "tell me, are you an honest man?" "I am... then speak the truth, how many bowels of noodle did I eat?" "you tell him!" "are you gonna speak or what?" "threatening a poor noodle vendor with gun you think you have a gun?" "guess what, who doesn't have a gun?" "speak out loud, he ate how many bowels?" "ShowYi, everybody here will support you and take care of you and your family speak out loud, how many?" "two bowels!" "you are the worst kind of scum!" "you think you are a badass?" "I can be worse!" "watch carefully now if there are two bowels of noodle in my stomach today" "I die in vein!" "if there's only one bowel of noodle in your stomach" "I die!" "if there are two bowels of noodle, I'll die along with brother six!" "and the noodle?" "the wound is too shallow, I can't see clearly" "brother six!" "you are the man!" "noodle is in your intestines, you have to slit it open sideways in order to show me brother six, show everybody is it one bowel or two bowels slit!" "brother six, bowel!" "see it?" "see it now?" "isn't there only one bowel?" "brother six, hold on!" "I'll get your a doctor!" "don't leave!" "isn't there only one bowel?" "!" "isn't it?" "!" "your turn now" "I knew you ate only one bowel you fell for it don't kill him!" "can't kill him!" "let go of me!" "I can't!" "give me one good reason why not?" "can't explain and I'll blow your brains out too!" "if you kill him, brother six dies in vein!" "I didn't kill him!" "what happened?" "he stabbed himself!" "we had a bet he lost let me put a bullet to his head, big bro, let me put a bullet to his head!" "you won't kill me!" "you can't kill me!" "this is exactly what Huang wanted!" "with defeat written all over your face!" "you kill him you lose, don't kill him we can still win let him go" ""kill the man kill the heart, kill the man kill the heart"!" "advisor is right let him go" "with a blade inside the stomach, and the noodle is still noodle?" "yes no" "I just want to know, is the noodle still noodle!" "it is over here" "so the man is dead?" "dead then you sold me out?" "I was trying to scare them with your master's name were they scared?" "they said "kill the man kill the heart"" "kill the man is not enough?" "and to kill the heart?" "how horrendous!" "lil 6, No.4 here swear to revange your death!" "lil 6, No.5 here swear to revange your death!" "brother six, lil 7 here swear to revange your death!" "No.2 is drunk, he wanted me to tell you" "No.2 swear to revange your death!" "lil 6, No.3 here swear to revange your death!" "No.2 didn't drink, he's pissed off!" "big bro doesn't want us to fight how are we bandits if we don't fight?" "big bro shouldn't listen to him that Tang guy is up to no good" "my brother six, what Huang is doing is "kill without knives"" "I advised your dad to counter with "kill the man kill the heart"" "can't risk it all, how can you make money when you are dead?" "lil 6 do we give a damn about money?" "I'm not about "kill the man kill the heart"" "is only I haven't come up with a better idea" "I'm going to cleanse Huang off of this earth just give me a little time lil 6, dad swear to revange your death!" "mop yourselves up brother six, good riddance!" "(chinese hand sign for SIX)" "which card to play first?" "treat a guest, cut off the head, or raise a dog!" "kill!" "treat a guest!" "this is "HongMenYan" a trap, a dangerous endeavor" ""kill the man kill the heart" is already working!" "I give you another advise postpone!" "the longer we can stretch it, the more money to be made by then it will be Huang himself kneeling outside here what the fuck is this trap?" "this is mobs inviting bandits" ""Xiong Yu inviting Liu Bang"" "where di Liu Bang end up?" "he became the emporer and Xiang Yu?" "so, we accept?" "accept!" "take Huang over to our side at the same time the three of us together making money" "(bring me my whips)" "(dress up like Huang's men, follow me) understood!" "(kill that bastard to avange No.6) understood!" "Tang, you use the death of No.6 as your way to fortune?" "I think I can use you to make more what are you talking about?" "let's go!" "to meet your new friend attention!" "your governor, and advisor!" "what an honor!" "apologize for the lack of courtesy!" "Master Huang's castle is such a master piece of work what a formidable fortress!" "the governor is couragous, the advisor is intellegent what a perfect combo!" "please!" "the death of brother six, heroic!" "today I invite the governor here so that I can settle the grudge!" "if they were really following my orders then I shall act accordingly rip my guts in front of you!" "not only that, I'll ask to have your governor's honor to be my beheader cut off my head, and raise it high atop of my castle!" "but just in case if it wasn't me then that's a diliberate libel against my reputation and deceiving the governor" "then you die either the three of you die, or speak against me" "I'm ready to die any moment" "Master Huang, I heard they used the short blade for seppuku the long blade belongs to the beheader is that so?" "you are indeed good at this!" "your governor can be my beheader anytime!" "governor Ma, please!" "my governor's position, was bribed" "I bribe for money and I don't like making money off of the poor then who's money do you like to make?" "whoever has money!" "then who has money?" "you have money straight to the point!" "whatever you like here anything, take as you please" "I'm not a bandit!" "I am a governor a governor requires good reason in order to make money you got that right!" "in our goose city, there are two big families they are all in the business of trafficing workers to America to help building railroads profiting dollar!" "still talking about blades (blades in chinese: "Dao")" "no, dollar, the American currency dollar, arrived (similar sounding in chinese)" "Master Huang once arrived, money is here!" "shall we drink a round please" "Master Huang is too courteous within the whole entire southern China, who doesn't know in goose city you Master Huang is the man!" "The Man is only an empty title everyday my eyes open, hundreds of mouths are waiting to be fed waiting for me to provide how much are really left for myself afterall?" "if your governor really needs some quick cash" "I know just the place to go to oh?" "please continue!" "pock-faced Zhang" "for real?" "!" "pock-faced Zhang?" "that's right, pock-faced Zhang!" "then does this pock-faced Zhang have anything to do with us or has he anything to do with money?" "both!" "oh?" "is he here in goose city?" "yes but also no" "Master Huang is puzzling us with riddles!" "then where the hell is him?" "allow master Huang explain to us?" "explain to us this guy controls all the major roads outside of goose city understand?" "I don't do you understand what business I'm in?" "I don't just a tad short of half the Republic's opium trafficing is controlled by Master Huang wrong!" "I'm only running errands for president Liu and I'm only one of his legs then how many legs does president Liu have?" "of course there see" "Master Huang is the big leg!" "right!" "big leg!" "but me, this leg broke how did it happen?" "eight times out of ten, my goods are rubbed by pock-faced Zhang go figure how much money he's made?" "then this pock-faced Zhang must be rich as hell!" "is it real?" "!" "if you can squash the bandits you can have as much money as you want we don't have the balls to go after bandits but we do have the balls to use it as an excuse to scam money actually, quite big balls in that case!" "then don't blame me if you ain't go the balls but, I can still help you" "I'll provide the money, as bait how much I come up with, the two families must also come up with that's exactly what we've been waiting for!" "enough!" "so can you give 800 thousand?" "no!" "I give you 1.8 million!" "invest more, profit more!" "understood!" "after the dust settles 1.8 million returns all back to you we split the money from the two families!" "we don't return the 1.8 million!" "you want to crush bandits?" "crush 'em!" "we are going to take back all the money rubbed by pock-faced Zhang and return it to Master Huang" "by then this puny 1.8 million is nothing by comparison would you still mind?" "it's just a bandit Zhang!" "crack him down!" "tough!" "am I?" "very tough!" "tough or not, we can talk later!" "all I'm thinking right now is one thing only that is to fix the leg for master Huang!" "how dare Zhang, an outlaw bandit!" "taking dump on master huang's head, not gonna happen!" "drink" "I'm not finished yet" "I'll drink myself" "I think, we should drink wine one sip at a time walk the road one step at a time!" "you stride too big you tear your balls we should make sure money is split clearly first then we can talk about fixing the leg business you want to talk about dollar?" "not about fixing leg?" "then the two of you should keep talking advisor, it's up to you" "let's talk dollar first when we got the dollar, common practice, 30 - 70 split what kind of cheapass gesture is that" "Master Huang works his ass off to make it work and you only give him 30% cut?" "at least it's got to be 50-50!" "my bad, I'm wrong you are way wrong!" "advisor ya we should listen to the governor, 50-50 that's great!" "if you really got what it takes to fight the bandits then the two families' dollar worth nothing nothing!" "how is that nothing!" "you have talked the talk can you walk the walk?" "how can I believe that you have what it takes to rid the bandit Zhang?" "master huang, allow me to raise a humble question please bandit Zhang can rub your goods why can't he get in your home?" "this castle of mine, is tough as nails no way he can penetrate!" "then how can you really believe only me and advisor got inside your castle?" "he wants us to retreat retreat?" "are we?" "retreat!" "(roger, but we are worried about you!" ")" "you heard it" "I heard it whereas pock-faced Zhang can't penetrate, I can!" "when Zhang doesn't want to die, I can make him die!" "another one dead!" "you guys can speak up against me now!" "don't mistreat yourselves!" "governor Ma" "I knew it all along, you are somebody" "I'm humbled but, those brave enough to go after the bandits hardly ever come back oh?" "how so?" "pock-faced Zhang isn't your typical bandit 20 years ago, we had a faceoff what a coincident then, how did it happen?" "it was among the torch light, he turned suddenly and I, was hiding in the shadow of light one in the light one in the dark" "then right there right then just like right here right now" "such a similarity?" "similar!" "very similar!" "but you lack something from him you are not talking about the pocks, are you?" "of course not then what is it?" "you don't know how to act a fool precise!" "bro!" "by the time I was still in my mother's womb the fortune teller pointed at her belly and said this kid's biggest shortcoming in the future is that he doesn't know how to pretend to be stupid bro, can I still change?" "you can't change what is natural!" "take a look at this advisor, the master at acting a fool he mistaken dollar with blades what is dollar?" "American currency, US dollar!" "you see there!" "a natural born talent at acting a fool!" "advisor, I salute you!" "thank you master huang for your high praise!" "please allow me to really act a fool for this one time after crushing the bandits, all the recouped opium we want only 20%!" "no way!" "50-50!" "to show my sincerity, and to wish you a successful campaign 1.8 million will be provided immidiately!" "we haven't done anything worthy, it's too early to take payment" "Dai Yu, Qing Wen!" "no, bro, I can't take women neither you don't want women, you don't want money either what the hell do you want?" "!" "leg!" "what leg?" "the heroic righteous leg!" "your leg, is my leg your leg, is my life the saying goes, there was no road with legs you can walk out a road!" "I got you, I got you" "I get it too useless trash!" ""flowers will blossom another day"" ""but men don't get to be young again"" "such a lovely young girl what's so mad about!" "I wish we had only met earlier!" "girl and the diamonds, all yours!" "nah, I'm here with my wife it's not appropriate for me to take another girl then please give the diamonds to Mrs.governor excellent!" "let me hold on to them for her get up now didn't you call Dai Yu and Qing Wen?" "why only one girl came?" "don't tell me her name is Dai Yu Qing Wen?" "I told you don't know how to play stupid" "I gave her a japanese name" "Dai Yu Qing Wen Zi!" "all dead now!" "advisor, brilliant!" "governor, tough!" "Master Huang, brilliant and tough!" "are you the bandit Zhang or not?" "let's say if you are... you cutoff president Liu's trade routes made so much money" "why bother being a governor?" "say if you aren't... savior?" "tonight, we "kill the chicken retrive the egg"!" "the governor must die in his own bed don't let anyone suspect that because he came to my dinner he died in my house or died somewhere along the way understood!" "which is the chicken?" "the governor and the eggs you want us to cutoff his balls?" "diamonds!" "my two precious diamonds!" "don't worry, your master, your diamonds" "I'm going to get them back right away!" "do you understand why I send you on this mission?" "because I'm dead why were you dead?" "because I sold your master out correct!" "if you are alive, you'll die sooner or later if you are dead you live forever understood" ""kill the chicken retrieve the egg!"" "advisor, where's big bro!" "he's on the back of the horse, drunk where is him?" "where?" "we were just talking a moment ago" "I'm drunk too he's not on the horse?" "maybe he was dropped somewhere?" "I heard you've been sleeping?" "raise your head when speaking to me" "I heard you've been sleeping yesterday?" "on which fucking day do I not sleep look at me when talking to me" "I heard you've been sleeping around with the bandit?" "I did!" "and don't you want to know how we did it?" "right, how?" "a girl from the brothels with a man of bandits any position is possible" "what are you shiishing at you shameless cunt bitch whore what did you say!" "cunt,bitch,whore,cunt!" "if only I had more time" "I'd give it to you good!" "come on!" "show me!" "show me whatchu got all you got left is that yapping mouth!" "you useless old horndog!" "if it weren't for my money who's gonna bribe a governor's job for you?" "don't you push me too hard" "I actually thought that bandit is pretty capable what is he capable of?" "more capable than you he's so pissed drunk he's like a puddle of mud" "now this is what I'm talking about lil 6, Huang lost three dogs today" "I know, dog life won't equal your life" "I was going to take the brothers to fight Huang til the last man to revange your" "but I changed my mind midcourse fight til the last man standing won't get the job done we can't lose any more of our brothers big bro, why are you in here?" "why did you call it off?" "once Huang heard your whistles my absolute safety was ensured so... leave me, I want to be with lil 6 alone for a while" "I finally figured it out today why I chose the life of bandits in the first place exactly because I couldn't afford to fuck around with those bastards this time, for you, I have to be able to play" "and I have to win!" "who?" "stole my diamonds, huh?" "are they yours to take?" "they are for mrs.governor now which one of us is the governor?" "huh?" "who's the governor?" "I'm asking you, who's the governor?" "are you going to kill me?" "or are you going to sleep me?" "is there any difference?" "totally different!" "then we sleep first, kill later!" "I'd rather you kill me right now!" "how am I gonna sleep when you are dead" "I can't take advantage of a widow drunk as I am" "I'm sleeping with you not sleeping you" "can't believe I got fooled by you!" "both you and martial coach Wu faked your deaths, right?" "that's right!" "why pretend to be bandits?" "we are bandits, pock-faced Zhang is my big brother oh?" "then what number are you?" "No.3 hey No.3, you got famous someone's pretending to be you!" "stop wasting time with him, big bro lil 6 is dead because of him let me shoot him once and for all did your brother pock-faced Zhang send you?" "or was it your master huang who send you?" "don't get the answer wrong!" "master huang why?" "he wanted us to loot the city dressed up as bandits in order to force you to wage wars against them con the rich, scam the poor and then?" "that's it that's it" "I really don't know anything else!" "why were you targeting guns at my bed?" "master huang said you had such a dominating chrisma about you huh?" "you are dangerous!" "bring him a message for me, tell him how he likes to fake deaths is just perfect that I like people to die a few more times you are going to let me go, again?" "he will only understand your words but who are you really?" "that's right, pock-faced Zhang but you got no pock on your face das Huang have four written on his face?" "ahh, I get it brother my true identity as pock-faced Zhang you must keep it a secret forever forever!" "I told you I won't be good at the governor's job!" "but you insisted bribing the job for me!" "now the job's taken away!" "even you are gone!" "what is it?" "Huang and his men are here say they are gonna help us fight bandits" "She is my wife!" "I am the governor!" "let him in" "I am Ma BangDe!" "how is the governor?" "how is the governor?" "catch the bandits, don't let even a single one escape!" "god damned the bandits!" "what have they done!" "the governor has just arrived here, now along with his wife..." "I told you I won't be good at the governor's job!" "but you insisted bribing the job for me!" "now we have the job but you are gone!" "she is my wife!" "I am the governor!" "I am Ma BangDe!" "you, too inexperienced you shouldn't execute those bandits so soon they are bound to revange don't cry, don't cry she died for goose city she deserves a proper funeral" "all the local families must attend they will all be here, I'll make arrangement" "according to our father and his grace and kindness please allow our sister, and our brother to relieve them of their mortal burdens we place them in earth with gratefulness they were originally dusts now they are back to dusts" "we know, all life forms are in the hands of our loving holy father to whom he promises eternity we are pock-faced Zhang's men!" "we are ruthless!" "don't move!" "don't move!" "sorry to scare everyone we are here today only to find a few people" "Huang!" "and the two families!" "step forward!" "father, sorry about that all my dear locals what will happen next has nothing to do with you fairwell bag him in!" "get up!" "hero!" "I am the governor here take me for hostage can you shut up already!" "save your life to collect ransom for us within three days, with money collected, we let the hostages go!" "no ransom, they dead!" "shoot me!" "no, don't dont!" "shoot me!" "you asked for a whoopass?" "easy!" "want to be a hero?" "this is what you get" "what the hell are you doing with my No.9 mask?" "don't mess it up for me!" "put it on take them we will pay is him!" "No.3!" "box in no ransom no release!" "please contain yourself!" "how?" "1,2,3!" "Huang is in there 1,2,3!" "when you cried like me with my wife in your arms you've planned this already!" "you got brutes and smarts!" "3 days, no money and the hostages die!" "remember, I am No.9!" "that's helluva job!" "does it look real?" "yup it'd look even more real if there's blood!" "right!" "is this entirely neccessary?" "!" "is it neccessary?" "is it neccessary?" "shoot!" "shoot them!" "don't!" "stop shooting!" "hurry up to prepare the ranson money!" "if they don't get the money in 3 days they will kill the hostages!" "kill!" "let them kill!" "must let them kill!" "that's exactly what my body double was hired for" "I will not pay a single dime of the ranson money!" "but the two families' money will probably go through your hands" "don't worry about me, brother!" "must not worry about me!" "your master, I suspect Hu Wan turned to bandit Zhang's camp must find Hu Wan!" "dead or alive, I want to see his body a body double is so marvelously useful!" "you gotta find me one of those pock-faced Zhang, have you no shame you messed it up!" "is it?" "it's over why do I feel like it's just begun?" "release them keep it as a souvenier don't ever turn your backs, now fuck off!" "madam, if you had left just a few more days later you'd have seen this yourself if she didn't die, this money will never make it to this table that's right, we have this money at the cost of her life" "are you saying our lil 6's life doesn't count?" "it's not the same how the fuck is it not the same?" "wife!" "who's wife?" "my wife!" "what about your wife?" "my wife was killed by Huang your brother six committed suicide!" "here's one fucking bullet for you!" "how dare you, you want a taste of this!" "No.2, put the gun down don't point your gun at me" "I've seen bandits, I've never seen bandit who pumps irons!" "what the f... what are you all laughing at, don't laugh, don't laugh what I meant was, the way your brother six the way he did, like this, that was heroic yup, a hero" "my wife, she went asleep and never woke up my wife, she went asleep and never woke up don't cry advisor, she was a hero too all my brothers, why were we here in the first place?" "for the money!" "do we have the money now?" "sure then let's leave!" "let's leave!" "then why do you keep crying?" "I can choose not to big bro, when are we leaving?" "we are not leaving it's not Huang's money come on, big bro, the two families' money ain't money?" "what I want is Huang's money!" "you don't scrape money from the poor you don't want money from the rich neither lil 6, madam, two lives must be paid in full by Huang you want to risk it all, this is gambling!" "this gamble?" "yes, it is!" "and you can't win!" "we are not leaving we don't need the money neither!" "give them away wait...big bro" "just say who do you want us to give this money to give 'em to the poor!" "but, who are the poor?" "who's poor, who's the poor" "(oh my god)" "you had the No.9 mask on when you rubbed me what number is mine?" "feel it yourself" "No.1 having fun?" "a blast!" "I see, you just want to play god, right?" "exactly what does this have anything to do with fighting Huang?" "If you can play god, how can you not be able to take down a Huang?" "wait a minute, I know this place" "I know it too then let's give them some money wait!" "what?" "big bro ordered, only to the poor!" "she's not poor well, you tell me, who's the poor?" "the poor?" "must be those forced to sell their children!" "that's her!" "she was sold to brothel by her parents!" "you are right!" "so it turns out the governor's men are the bandits!" "we just wanted to give you some money!" "kill!" "absolutely!" "anyone who knows the truth of the bandits, must die!" "that was your direct order advisor" "the first one ever knew the truth about the bandits was you!" "come on, let's not fight ourselves when there's unfinished business especially for a woman" "the day I came to the city, you were leading the drum squad girl, what's your name?" "my humble name is Hua Jie." "your last name isn't Huang?" "no, Huang baught me those posters at the city entrance you know what those are?" "wanted for pock-faced Zhang" "I am pock-faced Zhang from the bandits, hard evidence!" "whoever wear masks are the bandits?" "we have masks too then it's the governor!" "giving money away to the poor" "does it look like something a crooked governor would do?" "today, I want you all to dress up as bandits just like them how they gave it away, is how you rub it back!" "mess them up!" "understood!" "within three moves and check-made your master, we are already done with three moves you sure?" "lil 6's death, "kill the chicken retrieve the egg"" "those were the old moves we are moving onto three new moves now first, go to the capital to check out the Governor's background" "I just don't feel like he's the bribing crook kind of governor at least, it is not his real name!" "how about Hu Wan?" "Hu Wan?" "haven't found him yet how can you possibly tell me you still haven't found him!" "don't worry your master, I will find him, continue to find do you have any idea how much I miss him?" "Master Huang ordered us to mess up their plan now watch and learn!" "you got the money?" "yes, we got it then how are you going to thank us?" "however you want, anything however we want?" "you said it!" "good!" "get over there and watch you know why we gave you the money?" "because you are kind to us kind to you?" "not nearly kind enough!" "the righteous government help us!" "this is fucked up!" "fucked up!" "even rabbits know better not to eat the grass around the hole six of you, even in front of her husband let him watch disgusting!" "even I turned the lights off!" "you can take care of this sort of business with money!" "spend some money!" "get a prostitute!" "it doesn't cost all that much!" "even sneaking around this is pure bandits behavior even worse than bandits!" "and you wanted the people to praise your kindness?" "I have nothing to say but disgusted!" "forget about making money!" "disgusting!" "disgusting!" "disgusting!" "disgusting!" "so disgusting!" "big bro you know me" "I'm never the kind who bullies the weak" "I enjoy being passive big bro you know me the way I do things" "I never ask for anything from anybody big bro you know me if it were me no witness will live to tell about it big bro you know me even though I'm the oldest" "I...until this day, I...am commonly refered to as the virgin" "don't look at me?" "big bro, you know me if I did it then the one laying on the table should've been her husband" "I get it, you are all masters of various trades but somebody's been lying to me who?" "who?" "Tang this is too obvious, as an advisor he couldn't tell?" "obviously that motherfucker Huang had men prended to be us he's acting weird today something's up" "Tang, get out!" "get up!" "stand up!" "who have you been having dinner with lately?" "you met with Huang?" "don't move!" "legs up!" "who is that?" "kid!" "kid!" "kid?" "mine!" "you are a kid?" "how old?" "eight!" "get out" "this is a fucking eight year-old kid?" "nobody believes!" "even I don't believe it!" "by three he was as tall as his mom by five he was my height, now he's eight!" "your ma!" "your ma!" "ma!" "ma!" "your mama!" "who dare to hit my boy!" "your ma!" "your ma!" "this is your real mom?" "my ma this is your real dad?" "my family none of your damn business!" "your ma!" "sister!" "what the hell is this?" "I'm here for money, I won't leave if he don't pay up no pay no leave this old lying bastard he ran a coal mine in ShanXi 8 years ago not only did he con money he conned me of my body" "he's dishonest he owed a shitload of debt and just took off like that all the debters came knocking on my door they kidnapped my six-year-old" "If I don't pay them they are gonna kill my baby!" "that one isn't mine!" "yes he is no he's not yes he is!" "is yours, I counted the days!" "he scammed people money debters want you to pay back kidnapped your younger boy as hostage kidnapped if you don't pay they kill him that's right, that's why I need money!" "give her!" "money, the rock!" "over here sister, we've met only for the first time nothing better to give you" "I don't want rock, without money I won't leave!" "you stupid... this worths far more than money!" "this is gem!" "ah!" "really!" "bicycle you can ride that?" "ah, we've ridden those in ShangHai you two've been to ShangHai?" "PuDong" "I don't believe it, it can't be balanced!" "come, give it a try" "get on top" "hold on to your seat!" "but bicycle made of flesh!" "have I come to the wrong place?" "or is it a bad time?" "treat customers they both are hey, we got here first have you paid?" "can you take bicycle as payment?" "see them out!" "last time I gave your master lots of money what money?" "money thrown in from the window?" "didn't the bandits do that?" "are you saying these two are bandits?" "they are not bandits, they are the governor's men you dare to use the bandits' money as their payment?" "shut up!" "let her go first, hurry up!" ""hero rescues beauty"!" ""hero rescues beauty"!" "even if they were heroes, I'm no beauty even if I were beauty, they are not heroes" "your master, they are still customers here's tonight's money, I'm paying for them did't you always tell us customers are always our god don't you agree?" "right!" "in this case, it's not "hero rescues beauty"" "is "beauty rescues hero"" "you've almost become Xiao fengxian." "you've offended him now you don't have to offend Huang whoever he wanted dead must die!" "why didn't I just kill him right there?" "If I'd shot him it'd be all over don't be silly!" "big bro had word, we save him for his money!" "since it's money you are after then why are you all over the place giving money away" "is this color okay?" "put the umbrella away green first, then apply red you get it?" "got it got it keep that lucked up take shovels with you understood six shovels!" "got it" "big bro, look at me hair is good, face is red enough, come over here a dead man's face is green add some other colors and then become this kind of red got it you got it now?" "yap green over here green is the foundation add some of that and it should be right!" "ooohh, I see got it?" "shovels like these?" "cut them short, bag them up how short?" "to fit inside bags ohh, fit the bags hurry up, six of them where are you going like this?" "what's with the makeup?" "you are not running away, are you?" "are you coming with us?" "we are going to give more money away that's a waste, I'm not going!" "sure you are not going?" "no!" "then let me tell you this time around, I might be able to come back" "I might not be able to come back if I return you run with me if I don't return you run by yourself where, where are you going?" "not to give money away?" "we are also around midnight maybe someone will visit you whatever he wants to talk about just keep him talking however he wants to talk , is how you talk but be slow, be confident the slower the better you saw it yourself?" "yes I saw it myself!" "you saw it yourself that the governor led his men himself?" "I saw it myself!" "you saw it yourself that the governor led his men to distribute money himself?" "I saw it myself!" "what's the number of his face mask?" "No.9!" "excellent!" "tonight we don't rub, we kill!" "kill who?" "the governor with mask No.9!" "we don't need masks to kill the governor!" "your master just wait here to examine the body get back here!" "put on the masks!" "bandits scuffle the governor dies in vein doesn't it sound so nice!" "watch carefully, what number is their leader?" "No.9!" "everybody switches to No.4!" "No.4 are our own, everybody else must be dead you saw the number of their leader?" "No.4 do you know what number mask should we wear?" "understood kill No.9 first!" "go!" "master Huang, why are you here?" "am I not welcome here?" "light it up you tried to set me up with this empty city trick, so here I am" "sit" "where's the governor?" "everyone is No.4, can't spot a target!" "don't know who to shoot standing outside in a thundering rain, doesn't feel right totally wrong!" "shall we rearrange another time let's retreat how?" "back to where you from alright, back to where we from" "1,2,3,retreat!" "listen, gun fires then somebody dies somebody dies then somebody cries somebody cries, then must speak the truth" "now talk you have three things to say at least" "I shouldn't give your diamonds to others" "not this one" "I came up with "kill the man kill the heart"" "not this one neither" "we should've invited you to our HongMenYen dinner" "HongMenYan dinner?" "your master" "I can't hear you!" "I can't hear you!" "bandits scuffled among themselves in the city six dead!" "our men are all safe!" "advisor, come come, please maybe it's your savior you are my savior" "since I am your savior then listen to your savior, go take a look take a look light it up" "what the hell!" "what the hell!" "what the hell!" "Hu Wan!" "Hu Wan£¿ how could it be Hu Wan?" "this is weird they are all our men!" "bandits?" "where are the bandits?" "Hu Wan is the bandit!" "The bandit is Hu Wan!" "who killed the governor's wife, kidnapped the locals disturbed the lives in goose city is your master huang's Hu Wan!" "I wonder why you never came up with the bandit fighting fund turns out "the theif is yelling loudest catching thief"!" "you point your gun at me you point your gun at me" "you want to have a showdown with me?" "did you all see!" "this is the result of joining the bandits!" "even if it were my own father he must die!" "death is what you deserve!" "bandit Hu Wan has been executed by master huang for five more times" ""righteous kill one's own"?" "or "kill to silence"?" "if it's "kill to silence", then you are the leader pocked-faced Zhang!" "if it's righteous kill, that'll be easy!" "You pay money, I kill bandits!" "that's great!" "in 3 days, I shall give the governor a surprise advisor Tang, he's Hu Wan's savior now he's also your savior could you translate it for me what is a surprise?" "translate, what is a surprise?" "does it require translation?" "he just said it" "I want you to translate for me, what is a surprise no need for translation, it's a surprise don't you understand what a surprise is?" "I just want you to translate, what is a surprise!" "a surprise!" "translate for me what the fuck is a surprise!" "what the fuck is a fucking surprise!" "what the fuck is a surprise?" "the surprise is, in 3 days" "I will provide you with 1.8 million to fight off the bandits patch up my leg!" "is that clear?" "that's what a surprise means now translate" "translate!" "a surprise is, in 3 days give you 1.8 million to fight the bandits fix his leg" "oh that's the fucking surprise you're talking about" "I'd love to wait 3 days for you good" "master huang advisor Tang is my beloved one you shouldn't be stealing my love" "I know, I know" "lil 6 our plan is 90% accomplished call it 70% instead now I'm sending No.2 outside of the city to wait for us at greenrock valley" "I will deliver what I promised" "you understand?" "understood" "with this 1.8 million" "I think lil 6's death has been perfectly revanged it's just what I think... not only lil 6, my wife's score can be written off as well" "you can't be serious about fighting Huang til the last man standing, my savior" "I'm not your savior, Huang is your savior you are, he's not!" "you really believed I was dead, didn't you?" "no!" "abosolutely not!" "you didn't?" "never crossed my mind!" "I am in complete awe of you" ""turning a fox into a prince"" "out of nowhere, Hu Wan was there but there's one thing I don't understand ask six bodies such a long distance within such a short time frame and the makeup how did you make it happen?" "Huang and I arrived at the scene by running all the way you were carrying six bodies there's not enough time!" "why did I bury the bodies in front of my court?" "that's exactly where I burried the bodies!" "where the bodies is burried, is where things happen!" "where things happen!" "is where Huang must follow to!" "so you really are pock-faced Zhang?" "sit!" "My last name is Zhang" "I know given name is MuZhi nice name!" "the name implies governorship your father must expected highly of you" "I came out of martial court" "I've followed general SongBu" "I was his pistol squad leader how old were you then?" "bright future ahead of you at a young age and then General was injured during the LuZhou battles a little bit later, General died in Japan" "I came back right in the middle of warlords fighting each other, tearing up the country" "I had no other choice but the life of bandits so my name MuZhi got turned into MaZi, the pock-face what a shame!" "such a beautiful name people don't want to believe a bandit with an intelligent name they'd rather believe it's pock-face people especially want to believe on his face there should be fucking pocks" "people are fucked up my story began like this that year I was 17 she was 17 as well save it!" "I don't want to hear your story" "I don't usually tell others these hearty stories it's right on the tip of my tongue, you want me to swallow them back?" "swallow them back because you speak only lies you are a liar" "I don't know about the north here in south, such a collector's edition landmine there are only two" "Made in USA 1910" "Bang!" "a blast!" "then it is gone that's why without taking a few lives along it would be a utter despicable waste!" "so the other mine?" "blasted!" "blasted?" "the very first blast of the XinHai Revolution oh, I see" "It blew up at XinHai" "XinHai is not a place, it's a revolution, the revolution of 1911!" "if you'd said it earler I'd have understood." "let's talk about this one then who allowed you to ask about that one?" "that's why, this one must blast through the sky and through the earth, even make the gods and demons shiver!" "got it pick a good spot pick a good time then who to blast?" "you should've asked where to blast" "on the way to fight bandits so soon fighting bandits again?" "now this time can I get a bigger cut?" "if you are the real pock-faced Zhang, the money is all yours understood, I'm the fake pock-face whatever your master give me is a gratitious gift!" "then, when to blast?" "when to blast is the third step allow me to finish the second step nobody moves!" "let her speak!" "No.2 left without saying a word now No.3 is leaving you are tearing us apart!" "heroine, are you here for No.2 or No.3?" "shut it!" "what you are doing with your left hand, I understand with your right hand, I also understand but with your both hands like that, I don't understand either I get what I want, or I die!" "AB type shut it!" "everyone sit down" "I want to talk to her you were baught by Huang?" "correct did he ever hit you?" "he did did I ever hit you?" "no do you hate him?" "yes do you hate me?" "no then you don't point a gun at him you point a gun at me?" "!" "because you are a good man what?" "what kind of fucking logic is that?" "so a good man deserves to be pointed by gun?" "Hua Jie, big bro is right!" "get back!" "sit down!" "you sons of bitches!" "I asked you to give the money away to the poor you gave it to a woman see, what did I say?" "nobody listened!" "shut up!" "you old lying bastard!" "never stop trying to deceit me!" "playing your cards with both sides of the table!" "a bandit meets a mob it couldn't get any simpler!" "ya'll made it into this pile of mess!" "and you dare to point a gun at me!" "can't hold a gun, can be a bandit" "I can point a gun at you" "I got balls, right?" "which one of you fucking geniuses gave her this idea?" "who?" "!" "I told her as a joke" "you want to join the bandits?" "of course!" "I want to join you guys to give away money throw the money pouch into windows and hear them laugh well you are one now" "I'm not prepared yet no need to prepare did you all prepare?" "nah did you prepare?" "of course not, I was eating hotpot and singing suddenly I dropped into water and here I am" "we are going to leave goose city you stay here no!" "you are now one of us, you have to follow orders big bro is right" "what he said earlier was right too" "I have an important assignment for you" "I think you are the perfect fit this is the surprise!" "definitely a surprise" "I knew it wasn't his real name!" "with this surprise my second step of the plan can be completed with even more ease ease?" "stealing official position, back in the empire days that's a automatic death sentence for the entire family your master, just wait here" "I'm going to finish him up with a bullet to his brains!" "before they die" "I have to have some fun with these two monkeys!" "my master these two monkeys aren't worthy!" "got to play them!" "I have to play them!" "without them, how am I supposed to scam the two families' money?" "without playing them, how could they go off to fight bandits willingly?" "without fighting the bandits, how could they step on my mine?" "Huang has a body double looks exactly like him" "I can't figure out which is Huang which is his body double take a look for me" "fake!" "he's not Huang" "I've already told you I'm not him" "I'm really not him most definitely not please let me go, let me go alright, you are going to watch over him for us when we return, use those guns in your hands" "I don't know how to use guns" "No.3, you teach her" "is that you in the picture?" "it is me!" "are you sure?" "yes" "I was thinner back then this is not you you say that's not me?" "no" "I say it's not me neither!" "it's definitely not fucking me!" "then what is this?" "I want to demand an explaination too" "I bribed a governor's job" "I've got to have some documentations, right£¿" "I went to the shop to get my photo taken when I picked them up that's the one they gave me" "I told them that's not me, they said that is you" "I said that's not me, they said that is you what do I gotta do, that's the one I used oh, so that's how it is oh come on now obviously that's me!" "I am Ma BangDe!" "oh, so that's how it is it is!" "I ran in with bandits right before entering the city if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't possibly make it" "I thought about it, might as well let him be the governor afterall he is my own nephew uncle, how could you tell him that?" "zip it!" "master huang must've been laughing, I've been around places" "I've held governor positions at 9 different counties by twisting up truths with lies, reals with fakes so, governor Ma ya, go ahead he's talking to me!" "master huang please continue" "I've only got you two figured out recently and you are confessing just like that without a fight a coincidence?" "come on, the saying goes: smiling faces crush grudges give it a laugh, and it's all behind us now you want a truce with me?" "fine!" "where's my body double?" "return him to me, all of our previous scores are settled we killed him which son of a bitch told you to?" "you son of a bitch told me to!" "shoot!" "you pull the trigger early I can still kill you first!" "put it away!" "shoot!" "you shoot first, I can still kill you faster put your guns down!" "On my count of three 1!" "2!" "3!" "master huang, you put it down first!" "he doesn't know how to behave, don't you know neither?" "you are the most misbehaving!" "when are you leaving to fight the bandits?" "not gonna happen can't leave the city without getting paid first can't fight the bandits without leaving the city master huang, you are not holding onto your words you said it fine at the dinner table you provide the inital fund" "the two families will follow but not only did you not provide the money you had your men dressed like bandits to mess with us that ain't right!" "wrong!" "the bandits you saw, were my men the bandits I saw, were your men but the bandits they saw they believed those were the real bandits this is the perfect time to ask them to choke up now!" "once I came forth, they must follow and your money?" "already prepared for you" "I have my money all over goose city all right here?" "this is only half of it how much we want to make, how much they must bleed!" "uncle, it's a trap!" "trap?" "we've been through this so many times, so many deaths he never spit a dime now out of a sudden he shows up today with all that money?" "you think it's surprising?" "too surprising!" "I think it's surprising too do you want to know?" "come here" "I want to be... the governor you?" "what, you think I can't?" "I don't look like a governor?" "sure!" "you're going to take our position the moment we leave the city?" "goose city?" "I baught six counties governorships" "I can't be all at once by myself so get out leave now" "Ma, you will help me to rule three counties that is great, that's what I'm good at wait, hold on!" "then, then what about me?" "well, you you can be a fake pock-faced Zhang!" "that's brilliant!" "Since the last emporer dethroned goose city has seen 51 governors they were are worthless scumbags, pesting parasites, animals but this Ma BangDe governor he is not a worthless scambag, not an animal not a pesting parasite he will lead the troops himself today, to crush the bandits" "he is our great hero!" "advisor, please" "(reciting the chinese poetry) bandits, must to be crushed any time can't leave them be think about it, you are with your wife getting out the city, eating hotpot and singing a song out of a suddenly you got rubbed!" "so, only the days without bandits are the good days!" "governor, please" "march!" "savior" "I want you to look at this precious isn't it your commision paper?" "read it, read it" "I hereby commision Ma BangDe, what about it?" "keep reading!" "year eight of the Republic of china, august read the letters you skipped, in the middle!" "I hereby commision Ma BangDe to be the governor of Kang City wait, hold on this is killing me" "Kang City?" "wasn't it goose city?" "it was Kang City all along!" "you son of a... you have yourself to blame you soaked me wet in the water, put that mask on my face ticking me up with that clock, scared me shitless!" "so I came up with the idea, led you to goose sity how is this goose city different from Kang city then?" "kang city is rich, goose city is dangerous why did you lead me to goose city?" "because you are the man, you rubbed a train!" "let me tell you there'd be only two scenarios once you stepped inside goose city either, you are killed by Huang then I'll go to my kang city, act the governor second, you manage to take care of Huang" "just like this excellent!" "you really had me Ma BangDe you old lying bastard sooner or later one day you will get yours by the pock-faced Zhang you gonna kill me?" "what'd you do without me you really believed I am the pock-faced Zhang?" "if you aren't, then the real one is in these mountains once he showed up, you and I will die ambush!" "pock-faced Zhang!" "tell our men, spread out don't shoot run toward the mountain top" "(big bro orders: spread out, don't shoot)" "(run toward the mountain top, catch their leader)" "ten on the west side six on the south side there's a whole bunch of them on the east side!" "tell No.7 to find No.3 take care of the west side first fine!" "now go!" "(No.7 to find No.3, clear the west side)" "(No.7:" "I'm here)" "(there are 11, not 10)" "(no problem, 4 for you, 7 for me)" "(clear!" ")" "message from No.3, west side is clear this chirping of yours is like radio, pretty awesome tell them let No.3 to find No.4, get rid of the south side" "No.7 come back to protect advisor!" "(No.3 to find No.4, clear the south side)" "(No.7 come back to protect advisor)" "(I am surrounded)" "(wait for my signale with the hat)" "(you get the east half, I get the west half)" "big bro, No.3 and No.4 succeeded big bro I'm here!" "big bro I'm here!" "advisor is yours now, hurry!" "understood advisor, hurry!" "No.3 it looks like No.2 the pock-faced Zhang is here leave behind your money and your silver it's No.2" "is he dead?" "I'm gonna FUCK YOU UP!" "tell my brothes, head to the east catch one alive, find out where their leader is" "I'm gonna fucking kill him myself!" "(head to the east, catch one alive!" ")" "head to the east" "where's your leader?" "to the north, the one with pocks all over his face north, on top of the mountain" "I'm not dead, am I?" "no!" "not dead!" "what do you want to say?" "I'll blow the whistle for you!" "whistle whistle!" "how do you blow this?" "hurry!" "why don't you take me away can't, can't run anymore!" "I'll take you then" "I can't run anymore!" "didn't only your mouth get hurt?" "you run with your feet not with your mouth!" "(big bro is dead!" "big bro is dead!" ")" "big bro is dead?" "... you blew big bro is dead!" "No.5, you go check it out!" "big bro!" "they said you are dead!" "fucking bullshit!" "am I not alive?" "(big bro is not dead!" ")" "where's the "fucking bullshit" part?" "(fucking bullshit!" "fucking bullshit!" "fucking bullshit!" ")" "heard that?" "that's saying "fucking bullshit!" to us!" "hold on" "they caught the fake pock-face you are pock-faced Zhang?" "how come you ain't got no pock on your face?" "whoever asks that question dies" "I got it!" "no question asked!" "I got something real special here it's yours!" "that's gotta worth my life, right?" "where are those two?" "can you spare me if I tell the truth?" "hurry up!" "I chopped the big one, shorter than the short one!" "and the short one?" "scared to death right on the spot!" "advisor!" "advisor!" "who asked you to pretend to me?" "master huang!" "where you got the pocks from?" "he burnt it how many governors have you rubbed?" "can you spare me if I tell you?" "hurry up!" "five times!" "all five governors were killed by me master huang and I split the money what is that?" "people's umbrella!" "left by those governors I killed all yours!" "I have four more" "I know" "If I told you that'd worth my life, right?" "just fucking say it!" "to the east!" "to the east!" "oh no!" "nooo!" "don't!" "not to the east!" "ShanXi is definitely to the east east" "are you the pock-faced Zhang afterall?" "I am" "I'm about to die now don't lie to me don't worry" "I am pock-faced Zhang pock-face ass" "my ass hurts" "advisor your ass is in the tree it won't hurt now" "in my ass pocket in that tree there are five commision papers they are all yours listen to me, don't go back to goose city you are no match against Huang take the money and leave don't worry, I'm not going back to goose city" "actually, there's 2 more things I lied to you it's okay, I don't mind no before I die, I must tell you go ahead, what's first?" "I...can I start with the second thing?" "fine that guy, you remember?" "I don't know are you Tang" "or are you Ma BangDe but you are gone now" "pock-faced Zhang is gone as well real ones are gone fake ones are gone brother" "I'm going to keep your governor's position my brothers" "back to goose city" "this pock-faced Zhang he killed the fake poke-face" "got the money, instead he's not running away does him really want to have a final showdown with me?" "then we can ask for the government troops!" "I already sent Hu Bai over ask for help in 3 days, Leutenant Guo and his cavalry will arrive!" "the governor wants Huang dead!" "who doesn't want Huang dead!" "trafficing human selling opium!" "he killed five honest governors!" "all the silver yours to take!" "more treasure hidden in Huang's castle!" "the governor swears within three days!" "kill Huang revange for Tang's death!" "giving all that money away to the poor this is a crime!" "your master, he won't make it!" "see, there's nothing living on the streets other than goose" "I will go find HuaJie you go find me both HuaJie and Huang's body double must be back within three days!" "what is this pock-faced Zhang planning?" "it doesn't matter, it's all bullshit!" "all we gotta do, kill!" "but he's said it he will have my head in three days lots of people have said lots of things!" "big bro, three days only the four of us against Huang?" "correct!" "and spead the word out already if you don't spread out the word, you won't make it happen what are our odds of winning?" "isn't 30% too risky?" "I'm going to take a nap, you guys watch out over here" "south north" "I win!" "big bro, the money is all gone!" "I see that we should have 40% chance now" "50% 70% it can't be they have taken our money still 30% for us?" "if they took the money this way then the money is pretty much wasted" "send the chariot!" "I want to show you, what is called "borrow arrows with hystack boats"" "your master, it was horses we released, not boats retard!" "it's called a metaphor!" "metaphor!" "metaphor!" "I know the "Chi Bi" reference" "Huang collected all the money back now we don't even stand 10% chance to win" "(chinese hand sign for six)" "Huang didn't even have to show his face and people handed over all of the money where that 60% come from?" "you got that right!" "why?" "because they fear!" "what's underneath the fear?" "anger!" "I'm going to ignite all that anger within them" "hold on to the firearms!" "the money is waiting for you in the castle!" "hold on to the firearms!" "the money is waiting for you in the castle!" "keep losing yet keep fighting!" "I like that!" "but those are guns!" "shall we, send the chariot?" "they took money because of greed!" "if they take guns, that's revolt!" "they don't have the balls for it!" "money is gone, now nobody pickup the guns what are we gonna do?" "what are the odds now?" "(chinese hand sign for seven)" "Huang collected all the money nobody wants our weapon!" "where's that 70% from?" "if Huang didn't take the money, why did I give them the guns?" "I..." "I'm going to take a nap" "east south" "I win!" "I get it now it weren't guns that you gave away, it was anger!" "collect the guns!" "nothing's happening let the bullets fly for a while" "gunfire!" "look!" "pissed!" "they are all pissed off now!" "those lowly wretching fucking peasants!" "how dare them?" "with guns in hands, follow me!" "kill Huang, loot his castle!" "with guns in hands, follow me!" "kill Huang, loot his castle!" "big bro, big bro look only they followed us here!" "we got excited too early, nobody will help us!" "I get it whoever wins they are on who's side!" "400 of Huang's men against the four of us, how are we gonna win?" "shoot!" "you can only win by shooting!" "what to shoot at?" "there's only a steel gate here that's exactly what we shoot at!" "how many men did they rallied up?" "just the four of them impossible along with... 50 goose shoot!" "let them shoot!" "let them shoot all they want!" "big bro, sun's about to rise if No.3 doesn't come back, we..." "I know what you are thinking you know what an exclamation mark is?" "sure, sure shoot me an exclamation mark on that gate gotcha" "does that look like an exclamation mark?" "where's the dot?" "way off get away" "hook?" "hook?" "keep watching question mark" "as long as you aim it right you can run anytime!" "release all of your bullets thrugh that question mark dot!" "no problem!" "big bro!" "big bro!" "talk" "I'm back exactly three days that's it where is him?" "all over there let's go!" "finally you are back!" "I'm not him, I'm just a singer!" "what's going on?" "he ran and I chased he ran and I chased him and eventually we ran far away he ran and I blocked he ran and I blocked him now I got him back" "that simple?" "right, that simple!" "to celebrate No.3's return release all your bullets alright!" "let's go!" "what about me?" "and me?" "on your stomach!" "that sounds like only four men?" "go chech it out something it's going down!" "something it's going down!" "at least one dead up!" "brothers!" "we've won, now triumph!" "understood?" "understood!" "repeat it we won!" "triumph!" "make it theatrical!" "follow me!" "Huang is captured!" "Huang is captured!" "kill him!" "kill him!" "kill!" "oh fuck!" "fuck fuck fuck!" "I'm the body double now to the castle!" "retrieve what's belonged to you!" "follow me!" "follow me!" "they took the castle down?" "right!" "Huang is captured right!" "he's now getting his ass whopped as Huang's body double you destroyed his prestige and power what about his body now?" "we save him?" "motherfucker over there!" "get over here!" "stand up straight!" "my folks!" "Huang is indeed dead but he died too easily" "by that stupid governor cut in half!" "that wasn't just stupid, it was pure stupidity!" "is that fair?" "NOT FAIR!" "does everybody okay with that?" "NOT OKAY!" "I'm not him" "I know you are his body double you enjoyed his life!" "you helped him with his dirty deeds!" "you shall now, receive the punishment that he escaped and more!" "I'm really not him kneel!" "kneel!" "kneel!" "don't test my temper!" "I'll count to three 1!" "2!" "1!" "2!" "who?" "!" "which son of a bitch?" "you want more ass whoopping?" "your governor, am I annoying?" "if I'm annoying, I'll disappear immidiately!" "if I'm not annoying, I'll keep kicking his ass!" "very annoying your governor, I shall excuse mysefl then!" "whenever you need me, just holla!" "I'll be there!" "later!" "later!" "let's go!" "so what have you planned next?" "stay in goose city to replace me?" "I'm not a domesticated animal you are a beast of the wild" "the day you arrived, what if I came to welcome you myself instead of sending Hu Wan over to mess with you would it be any different now?" "it was a fine hat, I liked it it's not the finest, I have better ones at home some other time I'll give them to you thanks" "in the end, it all came down to this ruin you defeated me and left me with nothing nothing?" "really?" "master huang as of now you are still smoking a cigarette you are still talking but lil 6, No.2, Tang and madam" "I can't hear their voices anymore ever again" "four of you in exchange for my five generations worth of family fortune not a good deal?" "how you cook your book is your own business to me money is money, life is life money is yours, I won't say a word" "but why you gave it all away to them?" "master huang" "I ask you a question go ahead what do you think, is money important to me or are you important to me?" "me think about it" "it can't be money?" "marinate it more" "still, I'm more important neither you nor money is important to me" "then who's important?" "without you, is very important to me" "you are not looking for matches, are you?" "no then you were looking for this" "you are a classy man" "there's only one bullet enough" "hold on you want me to bring Tang a message?" "yeah, tell him that I was sorry" "I lied to him what did you lie to him?" "I told him I wasn't gonna come back to goose city but I did you you should've hold on to your words right, that's why I feel bad about it" "but to you" "I am going to hold on to my words" "understood" "governor, governor these two chairs belong to me now" "big bro" "don't hurry what is it?" "can I ask you a question?" "sure you like HuaJie, am I right?" "governor, governor" "I think I can reappear now" "I just heard everything he is not a classy man" "I gave him a pistol if he wants to act with class, leave him be if he doesn't, you are gonna help him act with class understood!" "I have nine methods to torture him to death!" "nine!" "go now wait to hear my blast!" "yeah, something like that, what about it?" "please don't say that I told you" "big bro, we are ready to leave for shanghai not going back to the moutains with me?" "still going back to the mountains?" "you're not young anymore what you guys were just gonna leave without saying goodbye?" "we are just about to say it" "I thought you wanted to join my crew and give away money?" "haven't we given it all away today?" "will there be anything nearly as exciting as today?" "see, I'm already dressed up this way!" "so it seems you changed your mind?" "that pretty much goes without saying" "No.3, what are you up to?" "I'm going to marry her on behalf of No.2" "No.2 big bro, I'm No.3" "No.3, when you were with me were you not happy?" "of course!" "it's just that... a little bit nervewrecking" "and the two of you?" "yeah, a little bit uneasy" "No.7?" "big bro!" "big bro!" "big bro!" "girl hold your guns like this looks better" "a gift to you now big bro, then we are going to leave ahead of you now!" "bye, big bro leave!" "next time don't forget to say hey you take care of yourself, big bro!" "take care!" "goodbye!" "pock-faced Zhang" "No.6, No.2, advisor and madam have you all seen it" "No.3, are we going to ShangHai or PuDong?" "No.3, are we going to PuDong or shanghai?" "ShangHai is PuDong" "PuDong is ShangHai"