"Okay, now are you ready?" " Yeah." " Okay." "We're gonna-- you gotta hold on tight." "Squeeze, squeeze." "You ready?" "You're the one who should be in front of the camera." "What are you doin' hiding' back there?" "Theresheis , ladiesandgentlemen, themostbeautifulwoman intheworld." "Justlike outofafairytale ." "Wavetodaddy." " Daddy." " Hi, daddy." " Throw daddy a kiss." "Get off me." "Get the fuck off me." "I just wanna sleep." "Shut up!" "Get up!" "Help!" "Somebody help." "Hi." "Jen:" "Pick up the phone!" "I can't find it." "Igotsomenews you'regonnawanttohear ." "Oh, yeah, what?" "Jen:" "Penguin..." "Lovedtheproposal." "Shut the fuck up!" "We'vegotadeal." " Are you serious?" " That's awesome!" "Yeah." "They're wiring the money today, andI gotyoutwice whatyouaskedmefor." "What?" "You're the best!" "Jen:" "Yeah,I 'ma miracleworker." "Holy shit!" "That's great." "So why..." "What now?" "Jen:" "So now you write it." "Alltheyneedisa 20-page excerpteverymonth andotherthanthat you'rea freeman-- oh,andtheywannahave  apartyin afew weeks-- black tie, canapes, et cetera, et cetera." "Whoa!" "What?" "Jen:" "Go buy yourself anicesuit." "All right!" "Jen:" "Okay, hon." "Talklater." "Pour it, when you pour it." "First bucket, baby!" " First bucket!" " No, no." "That's one, that's one, that's one!" "Bam!" "Yeah, yes, motherfucker!" "I will ruin you!" "Yourkidswillweep atyourfuneral!" "Man!" "No,no,no !" "No, no, no!" "Come on, man!" "That's what I'm talkin' about." "That's my money." "Give me that money!" "You pay up, bitch." "Gimme that money!" "You son of a bitch." "Really?" "Whatis this, adownpayment?" "Hey,youmissedeverything." "I know, I know." "I had to go to the courthouse." "Yo, come on." "What are you doin'?" " It's over, right?" " No, we're watchin' the recap." "I gotta watch this real quick." "Woman on TV:" "Nobody,no weapon." "Nextweek hansReisergoesontrial forthemurderofhiswife." "Bigquestionsarise-- didhekillher , ordidshesimply leaveherfamily toescapeabad marriage." "It'sa hauntingstory astheinvestigationof NinaReisercontinues." "Thedirect physicalevidenceagainsthans islimited, butpolicehavebuilt adetailed circumstantialcase." "Policehave confirmedtheybelieved hansReiseractedalone." "Accordingto some,Nina..." " What is this?" "It'shans." "He made the linux operating system-- big nerd celebrity." "I'm profiling the case for wired." "Hanssays helivesforhis kids." "Indivorcecourt, acriticalruling-- hanslostlegalcustody ofhispreciouschildren." "Hislifewasfallingapart." "Man:" "Idon'tknowwhereNina is." "AllI knowis thatthe woman thatI loveis gone and her children keep asking me whenshe'scomingback andI don'tknow whattotellthem." "I'mjustahusband anda father." "I'ma victimin allthis." "NoonetookNina, noonehurther ." "Shejustleft." "Ninaleftherfamily." "Andwiththat, thelastmanknown tohaveseenNinaaliveheads  backtohiscell." "Hey, can you get me in?" " To the trial?" " Yeah." "Why?" "WhereisNina?" "Sure." "Jen:" "Hey,Stephen,it 'sJen." "Iknowyouknowthosepages  aredueat penguinnextweek ." "Ihopeit 'sgoingwell." "Givemeacall." "Hey,man." "It 'sJosh." "Igotyou theReiserinterview." "You'rewelcome." "Callme." "Who are you?" "I'm Stephen Elliott." "Uh, look, I'm not talking to reporters." "I'm not a reporter." "I just want to write a book." "Well, that's kind of hard to trust your kind of people." "Writers, they have a way of spinning things the way they want to." "Yeah, I know." "I have a lot of ex-girlfriends who have accused me of the same thing." "Well, what do you want to know?" "Anything." "I just" "I just want to hear your story, that's it." "I'm not interested." "There's something there." "He's sitting on something, just waiting for a big reveal." "Like maybe he killed his wife." "Yeah, maybe, but why is the question." "Hey, is anybody dead out there?" "I want to pitch a book to Jen." "A true crime thing." " Yeah." " My in cold blood." "Yeah." "Better." "Probably better." "What the hell is that?" "Flip it." "That's my team, from down below." "Sniff it." "You gave me your team?" " Yeah." " Yeah." " You got any blueberry sauce?" " Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Put it where it goes, though." "Yeah, yeah." "The key is to put a little bit of butter in the balls like so." "Then you put a nice sloppy helping' on there, and then let the blood flow right to the other part." "A little wet, and look at that." "Looks like shit." "All right." "Hot cakes are ready." "Get your asses in here for some cakes." "Hey!" "We cut my hair." "Whoa!" "Check out this haircut." "God damn it!" "Oh-oh!" "Wow!" "He's got it!" "That is just..." " What do you..." "What do you think of it?" " You like it?" " I think it's awesome." " I think it's pretty awesome." "I think it's awesome that you feel awesome for the last day of school, but I gotta tell you, man, that looks terrible." "Hey, you know what though, maybe you should put a shirt on." "Looking like a deranged little ragamuffin with no shirt on." "Man:" "This is not the kind of parent who disappears without warning." "This is not a mother who abandons her children." "Nina Reiser was president of her school's parent-teacher association." "She chaperoned field trips." "She did the class laundry." "Nina's children were her entire world." "She would have never, ever left them willingly." "And she most certainly wouldn't have left them with her estranged husband of whom she was afraid." "The police were called to the Reiser house three times during the months leading up to the separation." "Hans appeared twice in family court for refusing to pay for his children's medical expenses." "The last time he appeared in court, his request to have the children for labor day weekend was denied." "Twelve hours later," "Nina Reiser disappeared from the face of the earth." "When he was arrested, he was carrying $9,000 in cash, two books about unsolved homicides and a three-page letter." "The letter begins..." ""I've been telling you about Nina and nobody listens."" ""I may be a danger to the worldview of some, but I am no danger to my children."" "Hey." "You forgot your notebook." "This is where you say thank you." "Thank you." "How much did you read?" "Nah, just a little." "I had to find your name." "I want to see if I should be embarrassed." "I wrote, "hans Reiser trial." "Get transcript of letter thing."" "With search terms like that, should be a breeze." "Let me see what you wrote." "Whoa!" "This is thorough." "So really inadequate." "Miss Lana Edmond." "I write for the times." "Are you covering the trial?" "Not sure yet." "Do you want to get a drink?" "Like right now or in general?" "Right now." "I have to take a rain check." "I have to do something for work." "All right." "I totally understand." "It's a really big decision." "You have to think about it a lot." "So you'll have plenty of time to do that on our way there." "No fucking way!" "Is this your bike?" "Yeah." "I'm driving." "That's hans' mother's house." "They're right, you know." "The body is buried here." "There's no way he buried the body that close." "Oh, yeah." "Where would you dump a body?" "Hudson canyon." "Okay." "It's weird you had an answer for that, but..." "It's in New Jersey off the coast." "It's this underwater canyon." "It's starts in the basin and goes out in the ocean, like 400 miles." "It's as big as the Grand Canyon, but nobody knows about it." "So people just abandon things there all the time." "I once dropped an engagement ring in there." "Sorry." "I don't know why I just said that." "Jesus Christ!" "Um, so what are you doing tonight?" "Lana:" "I don't know." "What do you have in mind?" "Stephen:" ""I never went back." "I couldn't stand to see her that way." "Three months later, she was dead." "My father told me in the front seat of his convertible after finding me in a park." "He was already living with his new wife and her children somewhere in the suburbs." "He wouldn't tell me which one." "I lived on the streets until an overdose put me in the hospital and I became a ward of the state." "The day my father was found guilty of abuse and neglect," "I sat beside him in court." "Right before my statement, he pulled me close, so it would look like he was hugging me, and then he whispered in my ear, 'you know it's all your fault, right?" "You killed your mother.' that's what I could never explain to the lawyers and case workers." "It wasn't about the handcuffs or the beatings or his shaving my head." "That was nothing." "It was the constant suggestion that I was doing something wrong, that I was inherently poisonous and to blame for the series of abuses and abandonment that marked my adolescence." "He made that suggestion in countless, subtle and more obvious ways all the years he was alive."" "Man:" "This is bullshit." ""In the end his passing brought me no satisfaction, no closure." "The day he died..."" "Jesus Christ, how can you people listen to this crap?" "Oh my god, it's a ghost!" "Boo!" "My son, ladies and gentlemen." "The poor, abused orphan, the underdog." "How convenient for you to have a dead monster for a father." "How utterly pitiable." "I should be gettin' royalties for this shit." "My son, the storyteller-- what a fucking joke!" "You deserve to be played falling' for this nonsense." "My son was never homeless." "He was never in group homes." "He was a drug addict fuck-up who wants to seem interesting and dramatic and take your money is what he wants." "All right, Neil, you gotta go." " How are you doing?" " You gotta go." "Get your fuckin' hands off of me!" " You gotta go." " I gotta go?" "You're a fuckin' coward... always have been." "You people are all fools to listen to this bullshit." "Um..." "You know, I haven't seen him in seven years." "The one thing we can agree on though is that we're just dead to each other." "You don't have to explain to me." "Well, unfortunately, i don't think everyone else will feel that way." "But thank you." "I tried to kill my stepfather once when I was 16." "I worked in a pharmacy, and I did the research." "I figured out what kind of pill I would need and how much it would take to kill a man, the whole thing, right?" "I put a few pills in my pocket every day before I left work, saved up enough, ground them up and put them in his fancy bottle of scotch that he wouldn't let anyone else touch." "So you killed him." "Nope." "Not even close." "Nothing happened." "It just went right through his system." "He was that fat." "I guess I shouldn't laugh." "You'll get to funny one day." "It just takes time." "Stephen:" "So what were you like in high school?" "Lana:" "Me?" "I was a bad ass." "A bad ass?" "Lana:" "Oh, yeah." "I had a punk band and everything." "What were you called?" "We were called the lys dexics." " What?" " Think about it." "Oh, like dyslexic." "I played bass, which is ridiculous because I can't even hear bass notes." "But whatever." "There's only like four of them, so." "And then we had this whole bit where I sprayed hairspray into Mattie's lighter." "It was very cool." "Wish I could have seen you then." "A little delinquent, yeah?" "So why'd you break up?" " Lana:" "The band?" " Uh-hmm." "I guess I ultimately figured out it was less fun to have bad sex in the back of a Van sober." "What kind of sober?" "Not wanting to be my stepfather kind." "Do you mind if I ask what he did to you?" "It's in the past." "I'm not looking over my shoulder." "I know, but what happens to us makes us who we are." "No." "Fuck them!" "That has nothing to do with who I am." "He has nothing to do with who I became." "That doesn't mean you need to bury it." "I'm not burying anything." "I've just got some souvenirs." "Stephen:" "I think you're perfect." "I wouldn't want you any other way." "Hey!" "Jesus!" "Where the hell have you been?" "Oh... uh, I just..." "I needed a little time, that's all." "Come in." "What are you doing?" "Oh, it's this thing Roger turned me on to." "You heat it up to 209 degrees." "No, I mean, what in the actual fuck are we gonna do?" "I don't know." "Uh, I never really had a plan for when life shits the bed like this." "Do you have any sense of how many phone calls and hysterical emails I've gotten?" "As a matter of fact, I do." "I changed my number." "Thanks for letting me know." "So here's where we are." "Random house is backing out of the short story collection." "Columbia wants to buy you out of your teaching contract." " Fuck them." " Essentially, everyone is on the verge of suing us." "The penguin thing-- that's over, too?" "Not yet." "I have managed to talk them down, but you have got to work with me here." "Okay." "All right." "Just tell me how." "Okay." "First of all, you have to tell me the truth." "All right." "Easy." "Everything." "Look, yeah, my dad isn't dead, obviously." "But that's it." "So why does Neil say that you never lived in a group home?" "Why does he say you were never homeless?" "Why?" "Because..." "My dad's crazy, that's why!" "I don't know." "I've been trying to figure it out my whole life." "He just... he doesn't want me to be happy." "Do you have proof?" "What kind of proof?" "I don't know." "Records." "I mean, not on me." "Find some-- quick!" "I believe you, but you've gotta cover your ass." "Okay." "Next, you've got to write a press release statement like now." "Next, penguin has gotta have some pages asap!" "Unless you start producing, this all goes away." "Kill yourself, you fuckin' asshole." " Whad'ya got?" " I already paid for that." "Neil:" "Don't be stupid." "Say what do you want from me." "I don't know." "I know exactly what you like, don't I?" "Man:" "Hi, cori." "Cori, do you remember drawing that picture?" "Yes." "Why did you draw it?" "I drew it to show what happened." "Hans went away for a long time, and when he came back, he had this very big bag." "Inside the bag there were so many rolls of tape, like a ball, and hans took it to his car." "Now, in your picture, the bag is zipped up." "Could you actually see what was in the bag or were you just kind of imagining what might be in there?" "Imagining." "Man:" "And who asked you to draw it?" "Cori:" "The psychologist." "Man:" "Now, did you remember the part about your dad carrying the bag before the psychologist talked to you?" "I'm not sure." "Do you have trouble with keeping things straight sometimes, cori?" "Do you get a little, you know, confused, sometimes?" "I don't want to do this anymore." "Can I stop now?" "Okay." "Thank you, pal." "Did cori always call his parents by their first names?" "No, I don't think so, actually." "It seemed at some of the earlier custody trial statements, he would say "my mom", but I don't know when he started calling hans "hans"." "Do you think we could get the family court documents?" "Some of them." "Anything public record." "Can I see it?" "All right." "So this is the first one where cori is calling his mother Nina, and hans was already called hans." "Hmmm." "This was three months before she disappeared." "Mm-hmm." "Hey, can you get documents from other states, not just New York?" "Uh, yeah." "Wha-- what are you thinking?" "Illinois." "Yeah, sure." "Why?" "'Cause I grew up in Chicago." "What are you looking for?" "How about the hearing where my father was convicted of neglect and abuse and I was made a ward of the state." "What are you gonna do with it?" "I don't know." "All my book deals went to shit, and my editor says they're gonna stay that way until I come up with some proof that all that stuff actually happened." "I have to publish it in an important publication." "Like say the times?" "Stephen:" "I wouldn't ask you to do that." "I kind of just did, but that's okay." "I'd love to help." "Does this look like what you're looking for?" "Stephen:" "Yeah." "Now the only problem is i can't write it." "Of course you can." "Write whatever you want." "Stephen:" "No, I just can't write." "I mean..." "It just happens." "Last time it lasted six months." "Lana:" "And then what?" "Then I started taking Adderall." "Okay." "It's printing." "What if we published this as is?" "Hmmm?" "Print it full page, complete with your handwritten annotations." "That's something people would notice, and you wouldn't have to write anything." "I think that you're brilliant." "I know." "There's a term for what you are right now." "Cunt struck." " Fuck you." " Cunt struck." "That's not a word." "Yeah, that is." "It's an old word, old-timey word." "It's like cuntwinked." "Or the more politically correct version, hoodwinked." "Come on, you don't know this?" "No." "Huh?" "What's the male version?" " Cock hobbled." " Shut the fuck up!" "Come on." "You gonna match with me and you don't know that?" "Hey." "I put this on so I'd remember to give it to you." "Remember this?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "I was going through this old box and thought I'd give it back to you." " Yeah?" " Yeah." "You sure you're ready to part ways with that?" "Thought it would make you happy." " Yeah, it did." " You could give it to Jax." "It belonged to my grandmother." "Stephen:" "Yeah, I remember." "You gave it to me the night after I overdosed." "Remember, you said it would protect me?" "I sure don't." "It meant a lot to me at the time." "Yeah?" "That's interesting." "'Cause I didn't give it to you, Stephen." " What?" " It got stolen from my jacket at a party." "What are you talking about?" "I was in the hospital at Northwestern." "You snuck in to visit me." "No, doesn't matter." "Forget it." "It matters to me." "Look, you were pissed off at me 'cause I made that shitty joke about your mom in the wheelchair peeing' herself, yeah?" " Yeah, I remember." " Yeah, and the chain broke, and I had it in my jacket pocket and then it went missin' at the party." "This is not how i remember it." "I believe that's not how you remember, because you have a convenient way of remembering' things." " What?" "We're done?" " Yeah, we're done." "Roger." "Lana:" "Why don't you just tell me what you're looking for?" "What you like?" "Because I don't want to scare you away." "Do I seem like somebody scared to you?" "Stephen:" "No." "You're the last person i want to show my flaws to." "You're showing them to somebody." "I know you're not getting these marks on your own." "No, I'm not." "I just don't want to wonder who else you're with." "Give me a chance." "Tie this wrist." "Now tie it to the bed." "Now tie this one." "Tie it really tight." "Like that?" "Yeah." "Take one nail." "Run it down." "Slower." "Slow." "Harder." "Harder." "Like that?" "Stephen:" "Yeah." "Kissme." "Well, fine, but I like the hans idea." "Jen:" "Look,I thinktheyhave therightto voiceaconcern." "Thisdoesn'teven resemblethebook they'repayingyoutowrite." "Okay, no, fine." "I did that, but it's a better idea." "Yeah,I 'mnotreallysure that I can sell this, Steve." "Look, Norman mailer, Truman capote..." "They were both at the top of their games and then they got massive writer's block, right?" " And then?" " They fell into addiction." "Exactly." "And what happens?" "A murder trial." "Truman capote writes his masterpiece, changes American literature." "Norman mailer wins the freakin' pulitzer prize." "Jen:" "Oh, so hans Reiser is gonnawinyouapulitzernow?" "No, I'm just..." "He's interesting, that's all." "It's what I want to write." "Fine." "Aslongas you'reactually writingsomething." "Idon'tknow." "Iguesswe 'llfigureitout." "You'regonnahaveto getmesomepages ifyouwantmetopitch  thischange,actualpages." "Um, cool." "You got it." "Yes, I promise." "I promise." "I promise." "Okay." "Okay." "Bye." "I made breakfast." "I see that." "Eggs Benedict." "What's wrong?" "Nothing." "It's just um..." "This was taped to my front door." "Motherfucker!" "You stay away from her." "If you ever hurt them," "I swear to god I'm gonna fucking kill you." "Oh, come on." "You're so dramatic!" " Come here." " No." "Oh!" "I see how it is." "Tough guy." "All right, you handsome motherfucker." "At least come on in." "Come on!" "You want a 7-up?" "Hey, let's get a steak, huh?" "My treat." "Where's Cynthia?" "She's in Florida." "You know how much I can't stand the fuckin' silverbacks." "So you're just spending her money alone?" "Yeah, she sends her love to you, too." "Cynthia, you know, she had me clean out the attic." "I was visiting your step-sister." "She's going to Yale now, did you know that?" "I thought I might stop by here and see if you wanted any of this." "You came all this way to give me a box?" "I came to see my son." "Why?" "You obviously hate me." "Oh, hey, now come on, don't say that." "Why do you say that?" "'Cause you humiliated me!" "Congratulations, i hope you're happy." "I'm not happy." "That didn't make me happy." "Then why would you do that?" "You told everyone i was dead." "So did you!" "Yeah, well, I mean, there's storytellers in this family." "I" " I've read everything you've ever written." "I've come all the way across the country to this fancy party where they're celebrating my son, the big-shot literary genius because I'm proud of you and I'm sittin' there, listenin' to these stories, and every time," "the monster father dies a horrible death and those assholes in their party clothes, they're all happy about it." "How do you think that makes me feel?" "You're not doing this." "You're not turning it around to make it about you." "I'm not going to feel guilty for not keeping your secrets." "My secrets?" "What about yours?" "All right, look, here you go." "What do you got?" "Here's the court hearing where you were convicted of seven counts of neglect and abuse." "Here's the police report for when I was homeless 'cause you were hiding with your fucking replacement family!" "Hiding?" "I looked everywhere for you." "You were a strung-out drug addict." "I roamed the streets tryin' to save your life." "Oh, you were gonna save me?" "Yes, save you." "I had to restrain you." "You were tryin' to kill yourself." "You fuckin' beat the shit out of me, and I was too little to fight back!" "I was grieving." "I was doing my best!" "You were grieving?" "As if I wasn't!" "As if I wasn't fuckin' grieving!" "You pick at the details, you missed the entire context of this thing." " The context?" " Yeah." "The context is you were a fuckin' nightmare!" "You were a nightmare!" "You made my life a livin' hell." "You terrorized my family." "I'm your family!" "I was your fuckin' family, and you fuckin' abandoned me!" "That's not true!" "You're not goin' anywhere." "Get off of me!" "Fucker!" "You son of a bitch!" "I didn't abandon you." "You left home, for god's sake!" "You know what, you're right." "Youhaveanotherfamily totakecareof." "My father is dead." "I'm a fucking orphan." " You don't mean that!" " Yes, I do!" "You don't know what you're sayin' right now." "You're a pathetic old man, and you're gonna die miserable and alone, and you fuckin' deserve it!" "Stephen!" "Stephen!" "Stephen, come back here!" "All at once or slow?" " Hmmm?" " Slow." "Fuck!" "What did you mean when you told Dr. shapiro that Nina wanted cori to be sick?" "She was..." "Inventing illnesses for cori to make him go through all these unnecessary medical procedures, giving him medications that were making him sick." "She was poisoning my son." "She didn't like him on some deep, conflicted level." "Iknowpeople don'twantto hearthat." "Imean,theycan 'tbelieve thata parentwould actuallyhurtachild." "Ithappensallthe time." "The court system" " I mean, it just makes things so much worse for the children." "We'retaughtto believe thatthesystem willactuallyhelpthe child, thatit'lldo therightthing, but it doesn't always." "Sometimes itdoestheopposite." "Iwasbetrayedand abandoned by the people that I was supposed to trust blindly." "When I fought back, they called me a liar." "Noonetellsyou what you'resupposedto do then." "Whenyou'reallalone, youhaveto takematters intoyourownhands." "Ifyouunderstandthat, youunderstandeverything." "Ialwaystriedtodo therightthing, even if it was an impossible decision." "Hey." "You okay?" "Yeah." "What is that?" "It's Adderall, klonopin, Vicodin." "Can I have one?" "Lana:" "Ihatefeelingtrapped." "Stephen:" "I'dneverwanttotrap you." "Youcantellme whateveryouwant." "Youknowthat,right?" "Lana:" "Iknow." "Choke me." "Now?" "Yeah." "I don't..." "I just " "I don't really feel like that now." "Stephen:" "Hey." "I don't want you to do anything that you don't want to do." "Come here." "Come back." "I just feel at home with you, so..." "I just don't wanna have to pretend, or..." "AndI don'twantyou  tohaveto pretendanything." " Just like that?" " Yeah, squeeze." "Right here?" "Harder." "Harder." "You can't go harder?" "I'm trying." "I mean, look." "Come here." "Put your hands there." " Yeah?" " All right." " Like that?" " Yeah." "Okay." "Now I want you to press as hard as you can." "It's okay." "Just let it out." "Everything he did to you, i want you to take it out." "Just take it out on me right now." "Do it now." "Do it harder." "Harder." "Harder." "Harder." "Harder." "Stephen!" "Stephen!" "Stephen, wake up!" "Stephen!" "Stephen, please, wake up!" "Stephen!" "Oh, my god." " Oh, my god!" " Are you okay?" "I love you." "What'd you say?" "I love you." "What?" " I can't do this." " It's okay." "I'm not gonna let anything happen to you." "Stephen, I can't do this!" "It's okay." "Lana:" "Steven." "Please,youhaveto stopcallingme ." "Idon'twannatalktoyou." "Imeanit ." "Bye." "Jen:" "Steve, Ijusthadameeting withyourpublisher, maybeyourememberthem." "Wewaitedthreehours..." "Foryou." "Um,thebottomlineis penguindoesnotwant thistruecrimebullshit, likeI toldyou, andthey'repullingout  oftheoriginalproject,too." "Oh, fuck!" "Youhavesevendays toreturntheadvance, andthere'snothingelse Icando ." "Andyouneedaneweditor because you no longer have one." "Ireallyhopeyou 'reable togetyourshittogether." "Fuck you!" "Hey, it'sJosh,whereare you ?" "I'mtryingto saveyourseat , butthesepeopleare crazy." "Callme." "Shit!" "Judge:" "Haveyoureachedaverdict?" "Woman:" "Wehave,yourhonor." "The defendant will rise." "Proceed." "Woman:" "We the jury findthedefendant guiltyofmurder inthefirstdegree." "Woman:" "Wethejuryfind thedefendantguiltyofmurder inthefirstdegree." "OnoraboutDecember1..." " Hey, can I watch this?" " Yeah, sure." "Bailiff, removeMr.Reiser fromthecourtroom,please." "Thankyou." "Wait,takeyourhandsoffme." "Wait!" "I justwantedtosay thatI wasthebestfather thatI knewhowtobe." "Ionlytried toprotectmy children!" "Takeyourhandsoff me." "Iwantedto be thebestfather thatI couldbe ." "Thanks." "Oh, wow!" "Remember this?" "Oh!" " Remember that mustang?" " Yep." "Shit, that was an awesome car!" "Yeah." "Neil Elliott graduated from the university of natal." "Served as an airborne meteorologist with the south African air force, worked as a geologist for two years before immigrating to the United States." "What the fuck is this?" "Guess he wrote a few books before I was born." "Youknowwhathanssaid  aftertheverdict?" "Aftertheverdict?" ""I tried to be the best father i knew how to be."" "That'sexactlywhat mydadfuckin'said." "Imean,canyou  fuckin'believethat?" "I wanted to tell you I saw your dad the other day at the hospital when I was makin' my rounds." "Whywashe at thehospital?" "I don't know, but he was." "My dad and hans are fuckin' delusional." ""The best father i knew how to be"-- what the fuck, like it was all my fault?" "All this?" "What?" "Of the hans thing, of the trial, of all that was so that you could write about something different." "So what?" "Back to me." "You know what he fuckin' said," ""i didn't have the right context."" "The right fucking context?" "He said I terrorized his new family." "Terrorized!" "Terrorized is a bad word." "It's not a good word." "You think there's a better word that describes it?" "No." "I'm sayin' I've been..." "I've, I've thought about it." "I don't have a good feelin' about it." "I feel like maybe we fucked his kids up." "Are you serious?" "How?" "Because they saw us so out of control all the time." "We weren't out of control." " Yeah, we were." " No, we weren't." "Name one time." "Want me to name one time?" "How about that-- one time?" "You totaled his mustang in front of the kids." "Now that had to be terrifying for them." "Are you seriously trying to make me feel bad about that?" "No." "All right, you get the award for the shittiest father ever, right?" "But now you can see him from a whole new perspective if you want to, from an adult perspective, like a real adult." "A real adult like Roger?" "That would be better?" "I didn't say it would be better." "No, I didn't say that." "What did you say-- that we both started in the same place and I ended up here and you ended up..." "What, getting everything good?" "A wife, kids, all that?" "Yeah, hell yeah." "Yeah, I like being a father." "I like it." "Well, your dick works." "That's great." "Congratulations, man." " You're livin' the fuckin' dream." " How about fuck you, Stephen?" "How about that?" "'Cause every time you get in some shitty little way, you just grab me and try to drag me right through it, so fuck you." "Oh, man." "You know what, you wanted to be a rock star, and now you fuckin' buy happy meals." "I mean, they're gonna name mountains after you-- fuckin' mount i-played-it-fuckin'-safe." "Look at you." "You're exactly like your fuckin' father." "Exactly like him!" "You're sittin' here, you're pouting and whining." "You're fuckin' spinnin' out, and you're destroying your own life, and it's everybody else's fuckin' fault." "So fuck you, man, and don't come around my family anymore either." "I don't want you comin' around them no more." "Oh, seriously?" "I don't wanna be around your fuckin' family." "Man:" "Thecharge isknockeddowntomurderii, withchanceof parole." "Ifyouproduceabody , youhaveadeal-- murderii, nochanceof parole." "Ididn'twantto killNina,butIdid." "Shewasleavingme foranotherman." "Iwasdevastated, lostcontrol." "Shesaid shehadneverlovedme." "Thatsheonly marriedmeto escapeRussia." "Itookherneckinmy hands ..." "AndI crushedit until Ifeltherthroatcollapse." "Thatwasit ." "Alltheanger, allthehatred." "Therewasjustsilence." "Lana, can I talk to you?" "Hey." " I'm sorry." " Don't touch me!" "Sorry." "Can I please just..." " Please?" " Talk to Roger." "If you need someone to talk to." "Well, he's not answering my calls either." "Please?" "I feel like I'm about to go underwater, okay?" "Can I just..." "Please talk to you..." "Please?" "You're the only person that's made me feel okay about myself..." "In my entire adult life, and I feel like I know you." "From the first second i met you, I felt that." "I know it feels that way, but maybe that's not a good thing." "Why?" "Because you're gonna take me down with you." "It's just who you are." "Look, I'm fucked up, okay?" "Is that gonna be your excuse for the rest of your life?" "That you're too broken not to be completely selfish?" "Grow some fucking balls!" "At least I'm not pretending nothing's wrong with me." "Oh, you're pretending plenty." "You just don't see it." "Here's those papers you wanted." "They're pretty enlightening." "Neil on TV:" "Okay,youreadyfor aride ?" "Hoponmy back." "Comeon,man." "Seeifyoucan stayon." "Youready?" "Yougottaholdon." "Putyourlegsaroundme." "Holdtight." "Ready?" "Yeah!" "You'retheonewho shouldbe infrontof thecamera." "Whatareyoudoin' hiding'backthere?" "Theresheis , ladiesandgentlemen, themostbeautifulwoman intheworld." "Justlikeoutofa fairytale." "Do you remember her like that?" "Not much." "Shereallywasthe most beautifulwomanIeversaw." "Wavetodaddy." "Iwasyourage then, rightbefore youwentto Chicago, and when she died..." "Man, I was so confused i couldn't stop screamin'." "Yeah, I remember." "You want coffee?" "What?" "Coffee." "No!" "What the fuck are you doing?" " Just waiting." " No." "Dad, you broke into my house." "What the fuck?" "Well, I wanted to give you somethin'." "Jesus." "I can't..." "I can't deal with this right now." "I'm tryin' to apologize to you..." "Before it's too late." "What does that mean?" "I had a bunch of tests done." "I'm dying." "Don't fuckin' lie to me!" "Will you just fuckin' listen to me?" "I'm a sick man." "I wanted to come see you, make amends with my son." " Amends?" " Yeah." "What amends are you making?" "You're such a martyr." "God, you always have been." "What kid is like that?" "Think the world owes you somethin'." " Look, dad, I'm exhausted." " A lot of people look at your life and think it would be pretty good, you know." "The New York times reviews, pretty girls, everybody kissing' your ass to be around a hot shit writer." "Well, I can kiss all that good-bye 'cause everything good in my life just disappeared as soon as you showed up!" "You wanna blame me?" "That's easy." "And what are all the good things in your life that fell apart..." "What do they all have in common?" " Here we go!" " Yeah, you!" "I mean, you're a fuckin' curse." "You're poison." "You know, everything you touch you fuck up." "Just get out of my house!" "All right." " Look, I made this for you." " Get out!" "Just promise me that you'll look at it." "Get out!" " Did you see this..." " Get out of my house!" "I will get out of your house, but you just see for yourself, all right?" "I don't fuckin' have to look at it!" "You fuckin' hit your father." "What, you wanna fight me, boy?" "Fucking fight an old man." "Who the fuck do you think you're talkin' to?" "I'll ruin you!" "Come on." "Huh?" "Come on!" "Fuckin' pussy." "Huh?" "You fuckin' faggot." "Huh?" "You waste of a life!" "Come on, hit me!" "You wanna kill me so bad, hit me." "Come on." "Hit me." "I deserve it." "Come on." "Fight me, fight me!" "Hit me!" "Hit me!" "Come on!" "Hit me!" "Oh, fuck!" " Fuck you!" " Call 911." "Oh, fuck you!" "I'm not fuckin' buying' it!" "Ah, Stephen!" "All right, all right, all right." "I'm a terrible father." "I'm a terrible father." "Hi,Stephen." "I" "I don'tknow ifI 'mevergonna,you know, geta chance toseeyouagain, andevenif Ido,  wewereneversogood  atcommunicating." "So..." "Well,therearesomethings Iwannatellyou ,so..." "That'swhyI'mdoingthis ." "Youknow,thatstoryyoutell aboutthetime Ishavedyourhead andI restrainedyou, wasactually twodifferenttimes." "Thefirsttimeyou were squattingatthehouse." "Ithadbeenemptyfora year,  andI neededthatmoney sobadly." "Ifinallyfoundabuyer, andI hadto show thehouseoncemore beforethedealclosed." "Igotthere, andyoutrashedthe place." "Thousandsofdollars indamage, andI wasso angrythat Ihityouand Icutyourhair." "Youknow,afterwardsyou were cryinginthebathtub." "Itwasreallyhorrible." "The second time..." "I did it to try to stop you from killin' yourself." "Youwerelivin'onthestreet andI cameuponyou  sittin'outsidean arcade andI askedyou whatwasup ,youknow, whatyourplanswere, andyousaidwell," "Iguess, I'lljustcommitsuicide." "Ihadto go to work, and I didn't know what the hell to do." "I took you back to the empty house and then you really got out of control." "Youknow,youweretryingto cutyourwristsopen,soI..." "Ihandcuffedyou tothisradiatorpipe whileI triedto ,youknow, reachmyowndecision whethertocallthe cops orifthatwouldputyou injail." "Thirty minutes later," "I came back to check on you and you were hanging there, passed out in a puddle of blood at your feet, and I thought you were dead." "Itwaslikeabolt  oflightninghitmyheart." "Ijustcouldn'tbear thethoughtof livin' knowing'whatI'ddonetoyou." "Part of me I don't think ever came back from that moment." "Itookthehandcuffsoffyou andI said," ""youdowhatever youwannado ,son."" "Youdidn'twantanything todowithme." "Ican'tblameyou for that." "I keep tryin' to apologize to you, but it all goes wrong." "Maybetherejustisn 'taway tomakeamends forsomethin'likethis." "Notthatit matters, buthonestly,i- " "Ionlyevertried todorightbyyou." "I'ma brokenman, andI just..." "Ihopeyouwon 'tbelike me." "Fuck!" "Roger:" "Couldyouaskme somequestions?" "I'mnotgoodat makingspeeches." "Did you think you had a chance at a better verdict?" "Look, I knew I wasn't gonna get away with it." "I mean, I looked guilty," "I am guilty, but a father does what he has to do in order to protect his children." "Okay." "Um..." "If you knew that you weren't going for innocence, then why didn't you just plead guilty in the beginning and get a deal?" "I mean, I heard Dubois made a deal for seven years because the da didn't wanna go to court." "But who would've cared?" "I had the most publicized trial in years." "Would you be interested in following the story of a murderer who took a plea bargain?" "But I thought you said you did it for your children." "I did." "Everything I've ever done was for them." "But you insured that you would never see them again." "I mean, they're not gonna have a father." "I don't..." "I don't know." "I don't know what to tell you." "Validation is a helluva drug." "What?" "What's funny?" "Just the truth's a motherfucker." "Thanks." "I'll see you." "So you wrote all that in two days?" "Yeah, I mean, I put it down on paper in two days, but I mean, this is the book that I've..." "I've been wanting to write." "I just didn't know that until..." "Until now." "So let's find you a publisher." "It's not going to be penguin, but I've got a friend at grey wolf" "I think would be into this idea." "It won't be a big advance, but something to get us back on track." "Us?" "Us." "Hey." "Brought you some coffee." "I'm in no mood, Elliott." "That was your decaf." "You can have my coffee, if you want." "I also brought you some blueberries." "So many gifts and so few actual apologies." "I don't know where to start." "Start with the hydrangeas." "And for the record--no." "It's not my life's plan to be watering these things." "I feed them bone meal so they stay blue." "She loves it, so." "I'd be doin' this if I had the chance." "I'd be doin' all of this." "Sorry, Roger." "I'm a pretty shitty person." "No, you're not." "You're my family." "You-- you knew me when i was the messiest kid out of all of us." "You never gave me any grief about that, not once." "You kept showing' up for me." "So..." "I'm not gonna walk away from this over a few words." "You wanna go for a ride?" "You're all wet." "Yeah." "We can even that up." " Bitch." " Sorry, it just slipped." " Oh, that slipped?" " Yeah." "Motherfucker!" "What are you doin', dude?" "Don't, don't, don't, don't!" "Nina'smotherChristinasays sheisrelieved thechildrenmaycome tosomesenseofclosure..." "What time is it?" "We have about an hour." "Your flight's at 6:00." "We should pull the rental car around." "Ialreadydid." "You know you're not drivin'." "Oh, great!" "You can kill us both." "You remember when you taught me to drive?" "I was 14." "You let me drive out to Warren park in a '69 mustang." "Ilovedthatcar ." "Youusedto takemeout,  letmedrive." "Irememberfeelin' sohappyandfree, fullofhopeand potential." "Neil:" "I don't know why you always told people" "I taught you to drive in the mustang." "It was a red 1968 oldsmobile delmont convertible in Warren park in the parkin' lot." "You were belligerent, and you were a terrible driver." "So we only did it once." "Wanna go for a drive?" "I don't wanna see you for an hour." "Nah, we'd just argue." "Fine." "Then we'll just go." "We'll agree not to talk." "It doesn't matter." "None of it matters." "All right." "You gotta help me up here." "Help your old dad get up."