" Aren't you tired?" " No." "There's so much of it." " D'you think we'll live here all the time, Pop?" " Want to?" "Sure." "I like it." "Why did we always live in California?" "Well, I was born there, got married there." "Just went on living there." " Did Mother come with you to New York?" " No." "I was here by myself once for three days." " Do you still think of her, Tommy?" " Sort of." "Not all the time." "Just sometimes." " How old was I when she died, Pop?" " You were four years old." " A long time." " Yeah." " You ever gonna get married again?" " Oh, maybe." " You want me to?" " I don't care." "I like it fine this way." "But Grandma says you're getting tougher and tougher to have around the house." "She does, does she?" "Any more complaints from Grandma?" "She says you're too picky and choosy." " Where are we going?" " To meet Grandma at Saks." "Hey, Pop, look at that!" " What's he supposed to be doing?" " That's Atlas." " He's carrying the world on his shoulders." " No kidding!" "That's what Grandma says you're doing." "She wishes you'd leave it alone." "Oh, yeah?" "Looks like I'm gonna have to slug Grandma." "Hey, we're late." "Grandma's gonna slug us." "Come on." "I just love waiting for people." "There's nothing more fun than waiting for people who are late." "We're late, Ma, because I'm carrying the world on my shoulders." "It's heavy." "You can't walk too fast." "Put it down and give me money for your son's shoes." "Tommy, keep your mouth shut." "I told Pop he was tougher to have around the house too." " How much are shoes in New York?" " Give her ten bucks." "Wish me luck, Ma." "I'm going to the magazine." "Good luck." "I hope it's something you want and not far away." "It'll be here, or Minify wouldn't have got us the apartment." "Does he always tell you what to write?" "Don't you ever think it up yourself?" "Well, yeah, I think sometimes for myself." "Well, I'm late." "Have fun." " Boys' shoes?" " Fourth floor." " Toy department, please?" " Second floor." " Smith's Weekly, please?" " Reception room, sixth floor." "Right in there." " Miss, I did have an appointment." " I'm sorry." "I have no record of it." "I spoke with his secretary." "She said to come in this morning." "He'll be in himself in a half-hour." "I'll try again then." " Yes, please?" " I have an appointment with Mr Minify." " Name?" " Schuyler Green." " Telegram for Mr Pendleton." " Through the door, second office to the right." " Thank you." " Schuyler Green to see Mr Minify." "Thank you." " He's expecting you." " Mr Herman will call." "Janet." "For Mr Minify." " Follow me, please." " Thanks." " Yes?" " Miss Dettrey's expecting me." "Just a moment, please." " Mr Green." " Oh, Mr Green." "Mr Minify's on the long distance." "He won't be long." "Won't you sit down?" " Have you seen the last issue?" " No." "Thank you." " Mr Green out there yet?" " Yes." "Good, I'll be right out," "Come in, come in." "Glad you're here, Green." "This is all right now, Miss Miller." "Get it off airmail special." "Glad to see you." "Come on in." "Sit down." " Finding your way around?" " Almost." " Good." "Mother and kid like New York?" " Fine." "And the apartment too." "Probably the last apartment left in Manhattan." "Meeting people?" "Not yet." "I'm always slow about that." "Fix that up right away." "How about tonight at my place?" "Having some people." "Thanks." "Some other time." "Nonsense." "I won't ask you another time." "Here's the address." "Miss Miller, don't disturb me for anything." "Tell Mrs Minify Mr Green's coming to dinner." "Now, get good and comfortable." "There." "Because I'm going to talk to you for about an hour." "Maybe two." "I've had an idea." " Do go into the bar, won't you?" " I'd love a martini." "Jessie!" " Schuyler Green I told you about." "My wife." " Oh, John." "I know Mr Green." "I've read everything he wrote." "You never stop talking." "Get him a drink." " What'll you have?" " A martini." "Kathy, this is Mr Green." "My niece Miss Lacey, and Bill Lacey." " How do you do?" " You better clear things up now." " Well, Kathy and Bill..." " They've been divorced for two years." "Calls herself Miss Lacey and confuses everybody." "Very friendly, civilised and dumb." " Likes your stuff, though." " Please sit down." " Bill, would you?" " Way it was before OK?" "Just right." "I haven't read everything you've written, but what I have has been..." "Thanks." " What do people call a Schuyler?" " Phil." "Good." "I don't have to say Green." "Too hearty, last names." "And Schuyler is impossible." " That bad?" " I wouldn't call a dog Schuyler." "John...!" "It's my mother's name." "My middle one." "I signed my stuff "Schuyler Green" on the college paper at Stanford." "Sounded better to me, I guess, than Philip." "Like Somerset Maugham instead of William, Sinclair Lewis instead of Harry." "Somerset, Sinclair, Schuyler - all S's." "Maybe that means something." " Yes." " Do you mind telling me what you're writing?" "No, not at all." "Well, I'm..." "I'm not writing anything just now but, uh..." " Let me tell her." "I've asked him to do a series on anti-Semitism." " Always wanted to do it." " Do I get a credit line?" "You?" "For what?" "Don't you remember, oh, back around Christmas..." "...that Jewish teacher resigning?" "I was..." "I knew somebody was after me." "I forgot who." " John, the Jacksons are here." " Right." "I always steal ideas without realising." "That's what keeps the magazine original!" "Funny your suggesting the series." "Is it?" "Why?" "Oh..." "Lots of reasons." "You make up your mind too quickly about people, Mr Green." "Women, anyway." " I saw you do it when you sat down." " (chuckles) As apparent as all that?" "You cross-filed and indexed me." "A little too well-bred, self-confident..." "Artificial, a trifle absurd." " Typical New York." " No." "I didn't have time." "Yes, you did!" "I even left out a few things." "Faintly irritating upper-class manner over-bright voice..." " All right, all right." "I give up." "You win." "I'm sorry." "I couldn't resist it." "Because it's only partly true." "Is this your first trip east?" "No." "Every other time I've been here, though I've had a plane or railroad or a boat ticket for tomorrow." " Are you going to stay?" " I think so." "You're getting a pretty complete story on me." "Now it's your turn." "Well, you know I'm divorced." "Um, I help run a nursery school." "I'm called Miss Lacey." "Do you wantjust anything?" " Just anything." " Dinner." "Dinner?" " No reading comics at the table." "Put it away." " Oh, let me finish." "I'm right at the end." " No making mysteries at the table, Phil." " Mysteries?" " You haven't mentioned your assignment." " Oh." "He wants me to do a series on anti-Semitism." " You don't sound very enthusiastic." " I'm not." " Will he insist on your doing it?" " Oh, no." "He's not that kind of an editor." "Ma, what do you do to just eggs to make them taste this way?" "Pray over them." " Have a good time last night?" " Yeah." "You know, you need new people as much as you need new places." "I mean, everybody does, notjust you." "It was a good bunch to start on." "The funny thing:" "It was a girl Minify's niece, who suggested that series on anti-Semitism." "You don't say!" "Why, women'll be thinking next, Phil." " What's anti-Semitism?" " Hm?" "What's anti-Semitism?" "Oh, that's where some people don't like other people just because they're Jews." "Oh." "Why?" "Are they bad?" "Some are, sure." "Some aren't." "It's like everybody else." "What are Jews, anyway?" "I mean exactly." "Well, remember last week when you asked me about that church and I said there were different churches?" " Yeah." "Well, the people who go to that particular church are called Catholics, see?" "There are people who go to other churches and they're called Protestants." "Then there are others who go to still different ones, and they're Jews only they call their churches synagogues or temples." "And why don't some people like those?" "That's kind of a tough one to explain, Tom." "Some people hate Catholics, some hate Jews." "And no one hates us cos we're Americans!" "(clears throat)" "Well, no." "No, that's..." "That's another thing again." "You can be American and a Catholic or American and a Protestant or American and a Jew." "Look, Tom." "It's like this." "One thing's your country, like America or France or Germany - all the countries." "The flag is different, the uniform is different and the language." " And the airplanes are marked different?" " That's right." "But the other thing is religion, like the Jewish, Catholic or Protestant religion, see?" "That hasn't anything to do with the flag or the uniform or the planes." "You got it?" " Yup." " Don't get mixed up on it." " I got it." " Some people are mixed up." "Why?" " It's 8.30, Tommy." "You better get going." " Yeah, you'll be late." "Finish your milk." "Thanks, Grandma." "Bye." "Phew!" " That's all right, Phil." "You're good with him." " That kid's gonna wreck me yet!" " Did you and Dad go through this with me?" " Course we did." " Are you very disappointed, Phil?" " Yes, I am." "I was almost sure he'd hand me the Stassen story." "Or Washington." "I wasn't looking for an easy one, Ma." "But I did want something I could make good on." "I'd so like the first one here to be a natural, something they'd read." "So there's enough anti-Semitism in life without reading about it?" "No." "But this one's doomed before I've started." "What could I possibly say that hasn't been said before?" "I don't know." "Maybe it hasn't been said well enough." "If it had, you wouldn't have had to explain it to Tommy just now, your father and I to you." "It would be nice sometime not to have to explain it to someone like Tommy." "Kids are so decent to start with." " Home for lunch?" " No." "Think I'll take a walk." "You're quite a girl, Ma." "You seem surprised." "Why?" "I didn't think you'd do it." "You've a bad poker face, Phil." "You were disappointed in the assignment the minute I mentioned it." " What changed your mind?" " A couple of things." "I may put my niece under contract." "Inspiration department." "No, it wasn't that." "It was my kid." "I had to explain it to him this morning." "It was kind of tough." "It's really each house, each family, that decides it." "Anyway, I wanna do it very much." " I couldn't be more pleased." " I'll have to get some facts and figures." " What?" "!" " I said I'll have to get facts and figures." "Wait a minute." "Hold on." "I've got 18 hacks on this magazine who can do this series with their hands full of facts and figures." "I don't need you for that." "What do you think I brought you here for, facts?" "Use your head." "Go right to the source." "I want some angle, some compelling lead." "Some dramatic device to humanise it so it gets read." " You don't want much, just the moon!" " With parsley." "Suggestion:" "There's a bigger thing to do than to go after the crackpot story." "It's been done." "It's the wider spread that I want." "The people that'd never go to an anti-Semitic meeting or send a dime to Gerald LK Smith." "All right." "I'll knock it around." "Give my best to the research department." "So long." "You don't happen to want my niece's number?" "Regent 70493." "We're having dinner together." "I always like to go right to the source." " Fresh coffee, sir." " Oh, thank you." " You're a flattering listener." " I'm interested." "No, it's more than that." "Your face takes sides, as if you were voting for and against." "When I told you about my longing to have a nice home, you looked happy." "When I told you about Uncle John offering to send me to Vassar, you looked bleak." "How'd your parents take it about Mr Minify giving you an allowance and pretty clothes and all the rest?" "Oh, they said they wanted Jane, my sister, and me to have things that'd make us happy." " And did they?" " Yes, I think so." "I quit being envious." "And... snobbish." "I felt right and easy." "Now you're looking all dubious again." "Oh, please, don't think that I'm just sitting here approving and disapproving." "It's not that." "It's..." "It's just that..." "Well, I..." "We've certainly covered a lot of ground." "Are you engaged to anybody now?" "Or in love or anything?" "Not especially." "Are you?" "Not anything." "Dance?" "Oh, by the way why was your ex-husband asked up to the Minifys' when you were there?" " They trying to bring you together?" " Could be." "Aunt Jessie does it every once in a while." "Did you ask me to dance?" " (Mrs Green) Oh, Phil!" "Miss Lacey!" " OK." "He'll be right here." "He's still at it." "Hi!" "How's the big outside world?" "Still there?" "Everybody having fun?" "No, no, I'm fine." "Just wish I were dead, that's all." "Thanks." "I'm in my stubborn streak now." "If it won't budge, I won't." "Great." "At the rate it's going, do you think you'd like me with white hair?" "Yeah, I think you'd look dandy with white hair." "I'll be right here still trying." "No, do." "If you don't call, I wonder why, so it works out as an interruption either way." "Well, I work myself." "How many interruptions a day do you want?" "Oh, I'll thank you to call me five or six times a day." "It's your fault I'm in this jam anyway." "OK." "Bye." "Why not take some time off?" "You've been at it for a week." "Oh, you know me, Ma." "I'd be no fun for Kathy or anybody else." "I'm certainly no fun for myself." " No ideas at all yet?" " Sure, plenty but they all explode in my face after an hour." "They don't stand up." "When you get the right one a click happens inside of you." "It hasn't happened yet, and doesn't look like it will." "I'm bored with the whole thing." "Bored with myself, as a matter of fact." "Hey, Ma, do you think I'm losing my grip?" "Writers do." "Maybe it's my turn." "You better not." "You couldn't make it at anything else." "Well, thanks, you can go now." "That's a big help!" "Bring those things in with you, will you?" "Isn't it always tough at the start, Phil?" "Never like this." "Never." "I've tried everything." "Anti-Semitism in business, professions." "It's all there, but I can't make it give." "I've tried it separately and together." "Each time I think I'm on the edge of something good it turns into the same old drool of statistics and protest." "It's like beating your head against a concrete wall." "Gee, I wish Dave were here." " Dave Goldman?" " Yeah." " He'd be the guy to talk it over with." " Yes." "Still overseas?" "Yeah." "Looks like he's stuck there too." "He'd be just the one, though." "Hey." "Hey, Ma, maybe that's a new tack." "So far I've been digging into facts and evidence." "I've sort of ignored feelings." " How must a fellow like Dave feel about this?" " That's good, Phil." "Over and above what we feel about it, what must a Jew feel about this thing?" "Dave!" "Can I think my way into Dave's mind?" "He's the kind of fellow I'd be if I were a Jew." "We grew up together, lived in the same kind of homes, did everything together." "Whatever Dave feels now:" "Indifference, outrage, contempt would be the feelings of Dave not only as a Jew, but the way I feel as a man, an American." " Is that right, Ma?" " Write him a letter." " Maybe I've broken this log jam." "This is it." " Put it down like you just said it to me." "Now what do I say?" "What do I say? "Dear Dave, how do you feel when you hear Rankin calling people kikes?"" ""Or when you hear about Jewish kids getting their teeth kicked out by Jew-haters here?"" "Could you write that kind of a letter, Ma?" "No, that's no good, all of it." "It wouldn't be any good if I could write it." "There isn't any way you can tear open the secret heart of another human being, Ma." "Yes, I guess you're right, but there must be some way." "There must!" "Hey, don't you get started." "I don't wanna depress the whole family." "You look tired." "Go to bed." "One good thing came out of this anyway." "Reminded me I owe Dave a letter." "And I'd like more sympathy now that you see how tough it is." "Sympathy?" "Oh, no." " I think it's worth it, if it's any consolation." " It's mighty small, Ma but I'm in no position to dicker." "Good night, baby." "(moaning)" "Tommy?" "(gasping)" "Ma!" " Is it your heart?" "Does it seem like the heart?" " Wait." "You all right?" "Seem any easier?" " Passing." " Well, I'll get a doctor." "I'll phone Kathy." " No." " She'll know one." "Wait." "Oh..." "I never... realised pain could be so... sharp." "You let me phone Kathy." "She'll know a heart man." " What time is it?" " Oh, it doesn't matter." "It doesn't matter." "Come on." " Come back and hold my hand." " Sure, sure." "Will she die, Pop?" "Will she?" "Well, she'll die some day, Tom." "Just like you or me or anybody." "The doctor said she might be fine for years if she's careful." "Your grandma's not young, Tom, and all that packing and unpacking tired her out." " I'll bet we can run this place between us." " Sure." "Pop, what are we..." "It's scary, Tom." "I know." "I was scared last night myself, plenty." "We'll take care of her and she might be fine until you're married and have kids." " (buzzer)" " That's the doctor." " Will you make breakfast and go to school?" " Sure." "We'll run this place just fine." "You get going now." "I told your mother the truth:" "People with hearts outlive everyone else, if they take care." "This may prove to be what we call "false angina", instead of the true angina." "You keep her in bed for a few days..." "...then we'll get her to the office and really see." "No use getting too technical until we know." " Doctor, are you sure?" " I never minimise at a time like this." "I don't frighten, but I don't minimise." " Right now it's nothing to worry about." " (Mrs Green) Phil." "Go ahead." "I know the way out." "I'll keep dropping in for the next few days." "Thank you." " Everything OK?" " No need to look like Hamlet." "I feel great." "Well, don't crowd things." "Feel like talking?" "Ever know me when I didn't?" "Except last night." "(chuckles) Now I really believe the doctor for the first time." "Good." "So do I." " Tommy get off all right?" " Sure he did." "Fixed his own breakfast too." " I'll be up tomorrow." " You won't." " Yes, I will." " No, you won't." " Get any sleep?" " Sure." "Eyes like poached eggs." "Get some sleep today." "Don't try to work, please." "Well, you don't need to worry about that, Ma." "I've decided." "I'm gonna phone Minify." "There's a virtue in knowing when you're licked." "I'm licked and I might as well accept it." " I decided last night." " When?" " When I was with you, waiting for the doctor." " Why?" "Well, I was scared, Ma." "Like I used to be when I'd get to wondering what I'd do if anything ever happened to you." "It all came back." "I was a kid again and my ma was sick." "Now, Phil." "I wanted to ask "Is it awful?" "Are you afraid?"" "But... there are some questions nobody can ask, and they can't be answered." "I'll know the answer to those two when I feel it myself, when I'm lying there." "And that's the way it is with the series, Ma." "I can't really write it." "But you got the answers before." "Every article you wrote, the right answers got in somehow." "Yeah, but I didn't ask for them." "When I wanted to find out about a scared guy in ajalopy I didn't stand on Route 66 and stop him so I could ask a lot of questions." "I bought myself some old clothes and a broken-down car and took Route 66 myself." "I lived in their camps, ate what they ate." "I found the answers in my own guts, not somebody else's." "I didn't say "What does it feel like to be an Okie?" I was an Okie." "That's the difference." "On the coal-mine series, I didn't sit in my bedroom and do a lot of research, did I?" "I didn't go tap some poor, grimy guy on the shoulder and make him talk." "I got myself ajob." "I went down in the dark." "I slept in a shack." "I didn't try to dig into a coal miner's heart." "I was a miner." "Ma... (whispers) Maybe..." "Hey, maybe..." "I got it!" "A lead, the idea, the angle." "This is the way!" "It's the only way." "I'll..." "I'll be Jewish!" "I'll..." "Well, all I gotta do is say it." "Nobody knows me around here." "I can just say it." "I can live it myself for six weeks, eight weeks, no matter how long it takes." " Ma, it's right this time!" " It must be." "Always is when you're this sure." "Listen, I even got the title:" ""I Was Jewish for Six Months."" "It's right, Phil." "Ma..." "This is it." "That clickjust happened inside of me." "It won't be the same, sure, but it'll be close." "I can just say I am and see what happens." "It'll work." "It'll work fine, Phil." "Dark hair, dark eyes." "Sure, so has Dave." "So have a lot of guys who aren't Jewish." "No accent, no mannerisms." "Neither has Dave." "Name:" "Phil Green." "Skip the Schuyler." "Might be anything." "Phil Green!" " Ma, it's a cinch." " This is the best medicine I could have had." "Will you keep my secret if you meet people?" "It has to be without exceptions." " If you're Jewish, I am too." " Take it easy, don't get excited." "I gotta phone right away." "Why don't you have Kathy come over here?" " How'd you know I wouldn't phone Minify?" " Dope." "Nobody phones a magazine editor with that look on his face." " Oh, Phil, it's nice." "It's attractive." " It's not done yet." "The packages are pictures." " A fireplace." " Works too." "Mine's fake." "How's your mother?" "Dr Craigie said she'd be fine." "Oh, she's all right." " What's the angle?" "Tell me fast!" " I will." "I'll just check up on Ma." "Good." "Give her my love." " She's sleeping like a baby." " Good." "Don't worry about her." " Let's have a drink." "Some sherry?" " All right." " You're still not telling me." " Funny." "I thought I'd spill it out immediately." " You sounded so excited." " I am." " Must be really something." " There'll be stumbling blocks but I don't care." "I'll lick them..." "I'll lick them when I get to them." "Kathy!" "Phil!" "Phil, wait now." "You go over there and let me sit here a minute." "What is it, Kathy?" "Nothing." "I was just thinking." "Marriage can be such a good way to live, Kathy." "All these years I've kept hoping." "I've kept hoping too." "But when you've made a mistake once, you're afraid." "You're not afraid now?" "No, Phil." "Darling..." " What are you smiling at?" "No secrets." " I was just thinking." "I was just playing that old game - all women do it." "Trying out the name." "Say it out loud." "Mrs Schuyler Green." "How does it sound?" "It sounds just fine." "How does it look on me?" "I like it." "Kathy you're not sorry about..." "Tom?" "I'm glad." "It's as if my marriage hadn't been wasted, as if I'd had a son growing up for me." "I knew you'd get it." "Can you get away with it?" "If you and Kathy and Mrs Minify won't give me away." "I haven't told Kathy yet." " I'll tell Mrs Minify." "When do you start?" " What about now?" "Fine." "I'll get you an office and a secretary." "But the secretary would have to know." "Yeah..." "Well, why?" "Supposing I were Jewish." "What difference would it make to her?" "You're right, Phil." "I'm excited." "They'll read this." " Mr Minify, Mr Weisman is waiting." " Yes." "What about lunch?" "Chance to meet the whole staff." "Irving Weisman is lunching with us." " Yeah." "He's the big industrialist." " Yes." "He's a colourful fellow." "Old friend of mine." "I know you'll like him." "Sorry we're late." "Very sorry, Irving." " Mr Phil Green." "Mr Irving Weisman." " Mr Weisman." "Lew Jordan, our personnel manager." "Joe Tingler, our demon photographer." "Bert McAnny, best layout man this side of the Mexican border." "And last, as a kind of dessert, Anne Dettrey, our fashion editor." " Clever and dangerous." "Eats men alive!" " Thank you." "Sit down beside her." " Isn't it Schuyler Green?" " That's my writing name." " Mr Green will do a series on anti-Semitism." " Really?" "Again?" "Not again." "For the first time." "We're going to split it wide open." "Do you mind my saying, as an old friend, I think it a very bad idea, John?" " It's the most harmful thing you can do now." " Not at all." "Why is it a harmful idea?" "Because it'll only stir it up more, that's why." "Let it alone." " We'll handle it in our way." " The hush-hush way?" "I don't care what you call it." "Let it alone." "You can't write it out of existence." "We've fought it for years." "We know the less talk about it, the better." "Sure." "Pretend it doesn't exist and add to the conspiracy of silence." "I should say not." "Keep silent and let Bilbo and Gerald LK Smith do all the talking?" "No, sir." "Irving, you and your let's-be-quiet-about-it committees have gotjust exactly no place." "We're going to call a spade a dirty spade." "I think it's high time and a fine idea." "So do I. I couldn't agree with Mr Minify more." " You sound pretty hot about it." " Well, I feel pretty hot about it." "And I don't think it has anything to do with the fact that I'm Jewish myself." " Right office?" " Mr Green?" "Yes, sir, this is your office." "I'm your secretary, Miss Wales." "Elaine Wales." "How do you do?" " Mind if we get right to work?" " Not at all." " You know about the series I'm doing?" " Yes, sir." "Good." "I wanna start a file." "I want you to write form letters to clubs, resorts interviews forjobs, apartments for lease, applications for medical schools and so forth." " I got a whole list here somewhere." " Yes, sir." "Write all the letters on blank stationery and send two to each address." "One I wanna sign "Schuyler Green" and the other "Philip Greenberg"." "See what I mean?" " Yes, sir." " Have the replies sent to my home address." "Yes, sir." "Course you know it will be "yes" to the Greens and "no" to the Greenbergs." "Sure, but I want it for the record." "Now, if your name was Saul Green or Irving, you wouldn't have to go to all this bother." " I changed mine." "Did you?" " Wales?" "No, Green's always been my name." " What's yours?" " Walovsky." "Estelle Walovsky." "And I just couldn't take it." "About applications, I mean." "So one day I wrote the same firm two letters." "Same as you're doing now." "I sent the Elaine Wales one after they'd said there were no openings to my first one." "I got the job all right." "Do you know what firm that was?" "Smith's Weekly," " No!" " (laughs) Yes, Mr Green." "A great liberal magazine that fights injustice on all sides." "It slays me." "I love it." " Mr Minify know about it?" " He wouldn't bother thinking about small fry." "That's Mr Jordan's department, hiring and firing." "But if anybody snitched, you know there'd be some excuse for throwing them out." "So anyway, I thought maybe you had changed yours sometime." "I mean, when I heard you were Jewish." "You heard it?" "Why, sure." " Is this the list?" " Yeah." "When?" "Well, when you finished luncheon and went back to Mr Minify's office it kind of got around." "She'll be up and about day after tomorrow." "You wouldn't mind if I had her see an internist?" "No." "I'll make an appointment if you wish." "I use Mason Van Dick or James Kent." "Or if you've someone you'd like?" "One of the editors at the magazine recommended someone." "Dr..." "Dr Abrahams." "Abrahams?" "Yes." "JE Abrahams, Mount Sinai Hospital, Beth Israel, or both." "Yes, of course." "If you decide to have your mother see Van Dick or Kent, I'll arrange it." " Why?" "Isn't this Abrahams fellow any good?" " No, nothing like that." "Good man." "Not given to overcharging and stringing visits out the way some do." "You mean the way some doctors do, or do you mean the way some Jewish doctors do?" "(laughs) I suppose you're right." "I suppose some of us do it too." "Not just the chosen people." "If Abrahams doesn't impress me, I'll try Van Dick or Kent." "I've no special loyalty to Jewish doctors simply because I'm Jewish myself." "No, of course not." "Good man's a good man." " I don't believe in prejudice." " I see." "Well, uh good evening." " Evening, Mr Green." " Evening, Mr Olsen." "Say, Mr Green, why not fill out one of them cards at the post office, or tell the mailman?" " What's the matter with this way?" " It's the rules." "Leave that alone." "It's nothing I can help." "It's the rules." "The renting agent should have explained." "That is, excuse me, if you are..." "Excuse me, nothing!" "This is my place for two years, and don't touch that card." " You don't mean we're having dinner here?" " I do indeed." " So we can talk." " Talk, huh?" "You sit there." "I'm not going to let you get going on another thing." "You don't eat until you tell me the angle." "I've been trying to guess it all day long." " Have you really?" " Yes, I have." "I kept thinking "Suppose I were he and I had to find an angle, what would I do?"" " Well, what would you do?" " Well, I gotjust no place." "Some ideas you told me were excellent, but you threw them out and kept hunting." "Now you'll see why, just as soon as I tell you." "Phil, tell me." "All right." "Here it is." " I'm gonna let everybody know I'm Jewish." " Jewish?" "But you're not, Phil, are you?" "Not that it would make any difference to me." "But you said "let everybody know" as if you hadn't before and would now." "So I just wondered." "Not that it would matter to me, one way or the other." " Phil, you're annoyed." " No." "I..." "I was just thinking." "Don't be so serious about it." "You know where I stand." " Oh, I do." " It's just that you caught me off guard." "You know, not knowing much about you because you make me talk about myself so that for a minute there I wasn't very bright on the uptake." " Anyway, you don't think much of my angle?" " Oh, I do." "It's..." " It's what?" " It's just that I..." "I think it'll mix everybody up." "People won't know what you are." "Of course, after the series is finished they'll know, but it'll keep cropping up." "All right." "Let it." "I must be out of my head." ""Let it" is right." "Who cares?" "I was just being too practical about things." "That's what comes from being a schoolteacher." "Now tell me more." "Well, to begin with, you and the Minifys'll have to promise not to give me away." " No exceptions for anything." "OK?" " OK." " What about the people at Smith's?" " They're not in on it." "Only Minify." " They think you're Jewish?" " Look, Kathy, I don't think you understand." "If this is to work, the only chance is to go whole hog." "It's got to go through everything." "Of course." "I hadn't really seen it before." "I didn't mean to be so sharp." "I'm..." "I'm sorry." "Dinner?" "Yeah, fine." "You sit there." "I'm doing the serving myself." "More coffee?" "Only take a minute to heat it." "No, thanks." "Oh, I..." "I think I'd better be getting along." "So soon?" "Well, I should look in at Ma before she gets to sleep." "Of course." "You have to get to the school pretty early, don't you?" "Yes." "I had a pretty full day at the magazine too." "Yes." "It was a mighty fine dinner." "I'm glad you liked it." "My car's downstairs." "Let me run you home." "Well, thanks." "I think I'll walk." "It's a lovely night." "Yes, it is." "It's lovely." "I'd better be getting off." " Oh, don't bother." "I know where my hat is." " It's no bother." " I'll call you sometime tomorrow." " All right." " Good night." " Good night, Phil." "Mary said it'd be all right to bring you." "She's cooked a big dinner, so there's plenty..." "I forgot something." " Darling!" " Kathy, what am I doing to us?" "It's my fault." "I'm always weighing and judging." "I'm such a fool." "No, I should have said the angle was fine." "And it is." "It's wonderful!" "I don't know what happened." "It started when you spoke." "I felt insulted." "If I were Jewish, that's how I would've felt and I couldn't let you off." "All through dinner I tried to reach you, tell you I was sorry and I couldn't." "I don't know what happened to me when you told me, except that our evening was spoiled." " I wanted you to come back." " Darling!" "But really, Mr Minify, I never make it a policy just to hire..." "It's a question of personality." "Please understand, Mr Minify." "If a girl's personality is the type that fits in..." "It's by chance that we haven't one secretary named Finkelstein or Cohen?" "In New York?" "Come off it, Jordan!" "Miss Miller, take a "help wanted" ad." ""Expert secretary for editorial department, national magazine."" ""Exacting work." "Religion is a matter of indifference to this office." Got that?" " Yes, Mr Minify." " In any other ad you run, use that last line." "That's all, Miss Miller." "Good afternoon, Jordan." "By the way, if you should have to fire Miss Wales for any reason whatever, at any time remember I'd like to review the case myself first." "Good afternoon, Mr Minify." "I'm ashamed of myself and the magazine." "The notion that everybody's doing bigger things." "Well, nothing's bigger than beating down the complacence of decent people on prejudice." "Yes, sir, I'm ashamed of myself." "Go on back to work." "I believe that I've given an accurate picture of my qualifications and I would very much appreciate your immediate consideration and reply." "Sincerely yours." "Ask for an immediate reply on all of them." "Don't bother to do it today." "It's too late." "Tomorrow'll be all right." "Mr Green, when will you start dictating the series itself?" "I'd like to get the decks cleared." "I think I'll type it out myself to start with." "I'm not much good on dictating actual copy." "Well, that'll be all, Miss Wales." "You'd better get along home." "All right." "Mr Green..." " Is it true about Mr Jordan?" " Is what true about Mr Jordan?" "Well, he's telling everybody about Mr Minify's ad." "He thinks it's a wonderful thing." "He says," "He does, huh?" "I thought I'd ask you if it's true that the ad says right out..." "Right straight out, Miss Wales." "It's gonna be in all the papers tomorrow." "Practically inviting any type at all to apply?" "Any type?" "What do you mean?" "Mr Green, you don't want things changed around here, do you?" "Although you are a writer." "And it's different for writers." "Different for writers how?" "Well, I mean, just let them get one wrong one in here and it'll come out of us." "It's no fun being the fall guy for the kikey ones." "Now, look, Miss Wales we've gotta be frank." "You have a right to know right now that words like yid and kike and kikey and nigger and coon make me kind of sick no matter who says them." " But I only said it for a type." "Yeah, but we're talking about a word first." "But, Mr Green, that doesn't mean a thing." "Sometimes I even say it to myself - about me, I mean." "Like if I'm about to do something and I know I shouldn't, I say "Don't be such a little kike."" " But let one objectionable one get in..." " What do you mean by objectionable?" "Loud and too much rouge and..." "They don't hire any loud, vulgar girls here." "What makes you think they'll start?" "It's not only that." "Mr Green, you're sort of heckling me." "You know the sort that starts trouble and the sort that doesn't." "So why pin me down?" "You mean because we don't look especially Jewish?" "We're OK Jews?" "Because with us it can be kept nice and quiet?" " I didn't say..." " Listen, Miss Wales, I hate anti-Semitism." "I hate it when it comes from you or any Jew, as much as when it comes from a Gentile." "Me?" "Why, Mr Green..." "See you tomorrow, Miss Wales." "Good night." " Why don't you go home?" " I'm slowly going crazy!" " Hi, there!" " Hello, Miss Dettrey." "How can you stride down the hall with such energy at the end of the day?" "I'm bushed." " Getting the book to bed is a nightmare." " I didn't know you called it that." "Oh, we do." "We're sophisticated New Yorkers, Mr Green." " Do you happen to be thirsty?" " I do, and I wanna hear the story of your life." "Why, Mr Green!" "I think it can be arranged." "If you play your cards right." " Do you know a nice bar?" " This couldn't happen to a nicer girl." "He liked it, and that's how I got to be fashion editor." " Hello, Jim." "How are you?" " Don't look now, but we've got visitors." "Just when I was getting to the tender part." " Mind if I sit with you charming people?" " No." "Sit down, Bert." "Only got a minute." "You two seemed to be having such fun, I couldn't resist it." "We love to spread merriment." "Our hearts are God's garden, with just an occasional weed." "Well, Anne, another issue gone to press." "I don't see how we do it every week." "We're just brilliant." "Every day I ask the mirror "Who is the most brilliant of them all?"" " And what does the mirror say?" " That mirror ain't no gentleman, Mr Green." " How's the series coming?" " I'm still gathering stuff." "Plenty of it around." "When I was stationed at Guam our CO used to talk to us about it." "Quite a liberal, that fellow." "You were in public relations, weren't you?" " What makes you say that?" " I don't know." "You just seem like a clever sort of a guy." " What makes you think I wasn't a GI?" " Huh?" "Now, for goodness sake, Green, don't get me wrong." "Some of my best friends..." "I know, and your other best friends are Methodists, but you never say it." " Now, look, Anne..." " Skip it." "Flag the waiter, Phil, and be a dear." "Well, if you'll excuse me, I've got to run." "I'll be seeing you." "Little drip." ""Now, for goodness sake, Green, don't get me wrong!"" "Really believes it too." "Disapproves of the poll tax and Bilbo." "Comes right out and says so brave as anything." " He's just a drip, let's face it." " That imitation was wonderful." "Got a million." "Well, we're back to laughs." "Say, I'm having a flock of people up tomorrow night." "What about coming?" " Sure, I'd like it fine." "Can I bring my girl?" " Of course!" " What'll you have, sir?" " More of the same." "Wait here, will you?" "I'll be right back." " Surprise!" " Now that's what I call timing." "I saw your cab drive up." "I just couldn't wait." "(appreciative whistle)" "Oh, brother!" "It's nothing." "A lady comes in twice a week and puts them up for me." "Been with the family for generations." "Look at you!" "First time I've seen you in dinner clothes." "Good enough to eat." "Come on, dear, let's go." "Oh." "I told Ma today all about us." " Phil, was she pleased?" " She was delighted." "She got very emotional." "She dropped and broke her best dish and blamed it on Tommy!" "I called my sister Jane this morning, blurted it out and she squealed "Kathy!"" "As if she'd given up hope that anyone would ask me again." "Oh, darling, she's aching to meet you." "In fact, they're giving a party for us next Saturday." " Won't we have to let Jane in on it?" " I hadn't thought." "I hadn't either, until now." "But won't we?" "Your mother knows." "She had to." "Jane and her husband don't." "If you wanna keep a secret..." "Wouldn't it be sort of exaggerated with my own sister?" "Your sister-in-law almost?" "Darling, I do think it would be inflexible of you." "Well, I suppose it would." "Inside the family." " They won't tell anybody else, will they?" " Oh, they'd never breathe it." "They wanna fight this awful thing as much as you and I do." "Darling, I'll be the proudest girl on the block." "I don't have to kiss you in public." "I've got a nice dark taxi outside." "Well, what are we waiting for?" "Come on." "Don't just stand there." " She is attractive." " She looks beautiful." "She certainly does." "And she likes you a lot." " I'll scratch her eyes out if she goes after you." " That's the way to talk." "You haven't got a thing to worry about." "Hello, Anne." "Can I get you something?" "Food, drinks, some spending money, an emerald?" " Lovely party, Anne." " Be better when it thins out." "I think I can get Sascha to play and Ethel to sing." "Stick around." "Professor Lieberman's here." "Would you and Kathy like to meet him?" " I should say so." " I'm scared." " What does one say to a famous physicist?" " Just "Hello, toots." He's a wonderful guy." "I'm not happy till I'm out in my boat." "I bought myself a new one." "You ought to join me one day." "You look tired and drawn." " Say when." " Well..." "Professor, two people wanna meet you, but are scared." "They'll introduce themselves." "That'll make them talk." "You're on your own, kids." " Fine friend!" " Come on, Fred." "I want them to be alone." " This is my fiancée, Kathy Lacey." " How do you do?" "I'm Phil Green." "John Minify has been wanting to get us together." "Oh, yes, yes..." " Yes!" "He told me he did." " How do you do?" " I'm doing a series for him on anti-Semitism." " For or against?" "Well, he thought that we might hash over some ideas." " What sort of ideas?" " Palestine." "For instance, Zionism." "Which?" "Palestine as a refuge or Zionism as a movement for a Jewish state?" " The confusion between the two." " If we agree there's confusion, we can talk." "We scientists love confusion." "But right now I'm starting on a new crusade of my own." "You see, I have no religion, so I'm not Jewish by religion." "Further, I'm a scientist, so I must rely on science that tells me I'm not Jewish by race since there's no such thing as a distinct Jewish race." "There's not even a Jewish type." "Well, my crusade will have a certain charm." "I will simply go forth and state I'm not a Jew." "With my face, that becomes not an evasion, but a new principle." "A scientific principle." " For a scientific age." " Precisely." "There must be millions of people nowadays who are religious only in the vaguest sense." "I've often wondered why the Jewish ones among them still call themselves Jews." " Can you guess why, Mr Green?" " No, but I'd like to know." "Because the world still makes it an advantage not to be one." "Thus, for many of us, it becomes a matter of pride to go on calling ourselves Jews." "So, you see, I will have to abandon my crusade before it begins." "Only if there were no anti-Semites could I go on with it." "And now I would like to try another little scientific experiment." "I wonder whether you would leave me alone with your very beautiful fiancée while you got me a plate of food." " Well..." " Both in the interests of science." " Anything for science, Professor." "I'm John Minify's niece, Kathy Lacey." "And a little onion." " There." "Now go play with that, Fred." " Thank you." "This is not my third trip round, it's for Lieberman." " Who's counting?" "I'll fix him some caviar." " Caviar?" "It's all deductible from my income tax, dear." "I have to give parties to see what women wear." "Get it?" " You old crook." " Young crook, please!" " OK." "How do you like my girl?" " She's lovely." " Is it serious orjust the first rapture?" " It's serious." "We'll be married any minute." "My congratulations, you wilful, headstrong fellow." "When did this happen?" "First time we looked at each other, I guess." "Third day I came to New York." " Tall buildings and traffic didn't scare you?" " Not a bit." "I brushed the hay and straw out of my hair and fell in love with a city girl." "You could crawl right into The Saturday Evening Post," " Have you met her sister and the rest?" " Not yet." "You know them?" "Slightly." "You're gonna meet them soon?" " Next week, I think." "Why?" " Oh, I'd like the newsreel rights, that's all." " Why?" "What's the matter with them?" " Nothing." "I just think it's a fine idea to meet the family first." "It saves wear and tear afterwards." " Nice party." " It's even nicer here." "I've been thinking maybe it would be better if... if you didn't tell your sister after all, huh?" " Not tell her?" "Why?" " Well, the whole business depends on my not making loopholes whenever it's convenient." "I've already told her." " You did?" "When?" " Tonight." "I called her from Anne's." "Jane insisted I let her know the minute you said you'd be free." "You know it takes time to make arrangements for a big party." " What'd she say when you told her?" " She thought it the cleverest thing on earth." "You'll love her." "And Harry too." "They're grand people." " But she promised?" " I wouldn't tell her until she had." "And Harry." "She just asked that you skip the whole thing for the party, not bring it up." "And I said..." " You said no." " What?" " You said "No, he won't skip it for the party."" " No, I didn't." "I said I'd ask you." "I'd never say yes without asking you." " You mean you think I should?" " Oh, darling why do you lose your sense of proportion whenever the subject comes up?" "That's what was wonderful about Lieberman." "He feels the problem as deeply as anyone else, yet he had a sense of humour about it." "And besides, you know those suburban groups" " Connecticut, Darien, up there." "It would start a mess for Jane and Harry for nothing." "And if it were a mess for something?" "But, Phil, you're not Jewish." "It'd just ruin the party for Jane if she had problems with it." "Why can't I make you see that?" "I know I promised." "No exceptions." "You were being reasonable to stretch it to Jane." "But itjust seems so silly to start a thing for her up there when it's not true." "Why not tell Jane just to call off the party?" "Well, it would seem so queer, her only sister getting married." " And if you were, I'd manage." " Thanks(!" ")" "Phil, I'm not asking you to make loopholes where it counts - at the office and meeting people like at Anne's." "But to go to Connecticut to a party, and if we were to use my house..." "And Jane and Harry..." " I thought you said they were grand." " They are!" "But they can't help it if some of their friends are..." "It would make a..." " A mess, an inconvenience." " Well, it would!" " Just for Jane and Harry, or for you too?" " I'd be so tense, I wouldn't have fun either!" "Oh, Phil, if everything's going to be so tensed up and solemn, I..." "I think I'd better go now." " (Mrs Green) Wake him up." "Tell him to hurry." " Don't worry, I'll get him!" "Pop!" "Pop, get up." "It's for you." " Grandma said to wake you." " (groans) Hello." "It's for you." " Telephone." " OK." "Get up!" " Late, isn't it?" " Mm-hm." " Here's your bathrobe." " I don't want it." "I said put it on." "Hey, Pop!" "Here are your slippers." "Finally roused him." "Hello." "Dave?" "Dave!" "Where are you?" "When'd you get in?" "It's Dave!" "This is wonderful." "Where are you?" "(chuckles)" "LaGuardia." "Just now." "I had a break and got assigned to a plane with my CO." " And I haven't had breakfast." "Get it?" " Well, grab a cab and get right over here." "OK." "Hey, Ma!" "Can you make some of your famous hot cakes?" " We used to eat a stack apiece." " I guess the old magic still works." " Can I have some too, Grandma?" " How many breakfasts can you eat in a day?" " OK." "I never have any fun." " You'll be late for school." "I know what time school starts." "And I don't like fruit." " You like bananas, don't you?" " Well, bananas are different." "(shower running)" "Say, Pop, are we Jewish?" "Jimmy Kelly said we were." "Our janitor told his janitor." " What'd you say to Jimmy Kelly?" " I told him I'd ask you." " Remember that movie we saw with Kathy?" " Sure." " You asked if things like that happened." " Kathy said they were pretending." "Well, I'm pretending to be Jewish for something I'm writing now." " Oh, you mean like a movie or a game." " Something like that." "Look, Tom." "I'd like you to promise not to tell anybody it's a game." " OK, sure." " What'll you tell Jimmy, Tom?" " Oh, I'll say I haven't any information." " Wait a minute." "Maybe that's not such a good idea, to say you haven't any information." "Maybe you'd better say that you asked me and I said I was partly Jewish." "OK?" "OK." "But not tell him it's the movie part." " Have some more, Dave?" " Doctor, please!" "You're hittin' a nerve." "Good." "I'll go do my marketing." "You two hogs can pile the dishes in the sink while I'm gone." "Dave, it's wonderful." "Might you really bring Carol and the kids to live in New York?" " We could all be together." " That's the plan." "I can be eastern representative of the firm." "Best break I ever had." "All depends if I can find a place to live." "I'll spend my terminal leave looking for a place big enough for Carol and the kids." " We'll find you something." " Meantime you'll stay here." "Tommy can sleep in the living room." " Wait a minute." " No arguments." "You're talking to a civilian." "You win." "My CO had to move in with an uncle he hasn't seen since the First World War." " I'll help with the cooking." " Not while I'm conscious." "Goodbye, boys." "Don't settle all the problems today." "Save some for tomorrow." "Boy, I'm loaded!" "You know, I used to dream about doin' this, Phil." "What about this series you're doin'?" "I've talked about myself enough." " Come on." "Give." " Oh, we'll get to it later." " What's eating you, Phil?" " Who, me?" "You expecting a call?" "You keep looking out toward the phone every few minutes." "It's that obvious?" "Oh, I..." "I had a scrap with my girl." "I guess I wanted her to be the one to phone." "That's another department." "I'm doing a series on anti-Semitism." "With a special angle." " That's interesting." " Interesting?" "Don't you want a good, stiff series in a national magazine?" " Me?" "Sure." " You sound bored." "Oh, I'm anything but." "It's just that... well, I'm on the sidelines in anti-Semitism." "It's your fight, brother." "OK." "I get it." "Listen, I don't care about the Jews as Jews." "It's the whole thing." "Not the poor, poor Jews." "You know what I mean." "Don't force me to use big words." "Anyway, what's this special angle you've got?" "I've been doing it for a while." "I'm saying I'm Jewish." "And it works." "Why, you fool." "You crazy fool!" " And it's working?" " It works." "It works too well." "I've had my nose rubbed in it and I don't like the smell." "Yeah." "I can guess." "You're not insulated yet, Phil." "It's new every time, so the impact must be quite a business on you." "You get indifferent to it in time?" "No, but you're concentrating a lifetime thing into a few weeks." "You make the thing happen every day, go out to meet it." "The facts are no different, Phil." "It just telescopes it." "Makes it hurt more." "(phone)" "Hello?" "No." "Sorry." " Wrong number." " You wanna talk about it?" "No." "It's just one of those things." "I'm probably wiser staying alone." "After seven years, you lose the instinct for marriage." "Baloney!" "Do you and Carol ever get off on tangents much?" "Who doesn't?" "Go on and call her, you big dope." "So you're right and she's wrong." "So what?" "So she has to telephone you first?" "Who makes such rules?" "The Supreme Court?" "Go on and call her and stop lickin' your wounds." "Listen." "Meet me at the office between 5.30 and 6." "I'll phone her." "I'll get Anne Dettrey from the office." "We'll celebrate!" "OK!" "Can you imagine?" "Me married again, you and Carol here, all of us together?" "First I've gotta imagine a roof over Carol's head." "I'm gonna start lookin' right away." " How long do we have to wait?" " I'll tell you as soon as your table is ready." " Other people haven't had to wait." " They had reservations." " Who do you have to know to get one?" " Me, madam." "Oh, Captain, I'm expecting a call here." "Will you call me when it comes?" " Your name, sir?" " Phil Green." " Yes, sir." " Thanks." "(Dave) Ever been to Paris?" "There's a lovely restaurant on the Boulevard Montparnasse and we had delicious pressed duck." " Anyone we know?" "Know what I'm having?" "More fun than you can shake a stick at." "You want me to have the waiter bring a stick for a test?" "No, thanks." "None of those things work for me." "Once I tried to let a smile be my umbrella." "I got awful wet." "Another time I kept a stiff upper lip for a week." "People thought I'd had a face-lift." "Tell me, gentlemen." "Why is it that every man who seems attractive these days is either married or barred on a technicality?" "Your timing is rotten but your instincts are just great." " Here's to my instincts!" " Pardon me." "Oh, pardon me." "You know, I don't like officers." "Well, neither do I. I don't blame ya." " What's your name, bud?" " Dave." "Dave Goldman." "What's yours?" "Never mind what my name is." "I told you I don't like officers." "I especially don't like them if they're yids." "Sorry, sir." "He's terrible when he gets all tanked up." "Sorry." "What's the matter with you, anyway?" "Let's take a walk." "Come on." "Sit down." " Take it easy, boy." " I'm so sorry, sir." "He won't bother you again." "I was just coming over to tell you there's a call for you." "Telephone, Mr Green." "A lady." "Oh." "Thanks." "Come on." "Let's eat, Anne." "You have a call for Mr Green?" "Yeah." "Hello." "Kathy?" "Where are you?" "I'm up at Jane's." "I came up to have it out with her." "I couldn't call you until I'd fixed things up." "Darling, I was wonderful." "I said all the things you'd have wanted me to." "You would have been proud of me." "Why can I be clear to Jane and Harry when it's you I want to be clear with?" "I told you, baby." "Sometimes I can be such a solemn fool, I'm hard to get along with." "The party's tomorrow." "Will you take the three o'clock train?" "I'll be waiting for you at the station." "Oh, darling, I can breathe again now that I've talked with you." "And I can scarcely wait until tomorrow." "Good night, baby." "Oh, Kathy..." " I love you, darling." " And I love you." "More than ever." "Goodbye." "Welcome to Darien!" "How are you?" "Oh, hurry, Harris." "We're all parched." "Your mother must be so proud of you, Mr Green." "Well, I hope so." " Are you enjoying yourself, Phil?" " Oh, having a fine time." "Uh, Jane..." "Does your motherjust adore everything you write?" " Not everything." "No, not exactly." " She must." " Some people have all the luck." " Yes, he's... nice." "If I thought there were any more I'd go up into the hills and catch him with my bare hands." " He's divine." "How long was he around loose?" " Oh, about three days." "Mind if I steal Kathy away?" " Jane, you look beautiful." " So do you." " Wonderful party." " It's going beautifully." " Where are the Bascoms?" " Oh, didn't I tell you?" "Joe called and said he had that dreadful arthritis of his." "They said they were so sorry." "Are the Howards and the Berlicks coming later?" "Um, no." "They all decided to go to Hot Springs at the last moment." "I thought I mentioned it." "Jane, dear, I'm in this just as deeply as Phil." "I feel as strongly as he does." " Darling!" "What do you mean?" " You know what I mean." "Just a little careful screening?" "Just the safe ones?" "Darling, you're getting hipped on this series too." "Mr Green, tell me." "Do you get your ideas first and then write?" "Or do you write first and then get your ideas?" "Well, I'm afraid I don't quite understand what you mean." "Excuse me." "Darling, I'm afraid I have to spirit you away." "Will you excuse us?" "Why, certainly, my dear." "You make such a charming couple." " We all wish you great happiness." " Thank you." "We'll be right back." " Kathy!" " Jane." " Kathy, wait a minute." "Where are you going?" " Phil and I are disappearing for a minute." "I want to show him the house." "And we both need a breather." "Give us all a chance to talk about Phil without whispering." " He's won everyone." "Has it been awful, Phil?" " No." "I'm coming back for more." "Good boy!" "Harry says this sort of thing is a kind of mental bankruptcy." " But we women love it." "Don't we, Kathy?" " We certainly do." "Come on, darling." " See you later." " Goodbye." "I feel pretty much of a fool over the fuss I kicked up beforehand." "Why did Jane ask me to lay off for the party?" "They all asked about the series." "It was fine." "Not one lifted eyebrow in the bunch." " Hey, Miss Lacey, you're not even listening." " I was thinking about how wonderful you are." "Darling, there it is." "Aren't you supposed to carry me across the threshold?" "That's only if you refuse to marry me, in which case I take you and throw you in." "It's lovely." "It has a kind of quiet all its own." " Did you do it all yourself?" " Every bit of it." "We can redo the nursery." "That was when Bill and I hoped we'd have a child." "It could be Tom's room." " Will he like the country, Phil?" " Oh, he'll be crazy about it." " Did you and Bill live here long?" " Bill and I have never lived here." "Never?" "Why not?" "Well, it's hard to explain." "I love this house, deeply." "And I started to build it when things first began to go wrong between Bill and me." "And... somehow it became a symbol to me of many things." "When you're troubled and hurt, you pour yourself into things that can't hurt back." " Can you understand that?" " Sure." "I've done it myself at work." "Well, I poured all my hopes into this place." "And when it was finished, I somehow knew that Bill and I were finished." "I knew I couldn't live here with someone I didn't really love." "It was always more than just a house to me, a place I owned." "It meant everything I hoped for." "Marriage, children, good life." "I knew I couldn't live here alone." "I knew that for sure." " And you never lived here at all?" " No, never." "No one has." "I stay at Jane's and come down here and walk through the house, poke the curtains a bit." "Sit out here." "And for a long while I hated it." "Really hated it." "But I could never let it go." "And now I know why." "I was right not to settle for second best, right to keep hoping, because it's all come true." "Darling, you and I are going to be so happy here." "This house and I... we were waiting for you." "I was always waiting for you, I think." "Coffee, coffee, coffee!" "Anne, will you bring the cream?" "And the mints?" " Mints?" "Where?" " Right there." " How do you want your coffee, Dave?" "Black?" " Fine." "Why don't you play that piece, dear?" "Make it a perfect evening." " She plays beautifully." " Darling, you keep on thinking that." "Anne, would you put the radio on?" "You know, Anne, these two act like an old married couple." " Two days before the wedding, it's indecent." " And depressing." "Give a nervous flutter or two, Kathy or the bellboys won'tjoke as they carry up your bags." " Is the honeymoon place a secret?" " Big secret." " It's the White Mountains." " Don't tell him." "He's nosy." "Liable to turn up at odd hours, pretending he's the house detective." "I'd love that." "I've always wanted to tell a house detective what for." " We're going to Flume Inn." "Do you know it?" " What?" "Flume Inn?" "On your honeymoon?" " You wouldn't." "You're kidding." " No, we're not." " What's the matter with Flume Inn?" " It's restricted, that's all." "Restricted?" " Darling, I'm sorry." "I didn't realise." " That's all right, baby." "It's not your fault." " So that's how it is." " Are you sure?" "Were you there recently?" " No." "And I'm sure." " But they confirmed the reservation." " Darling, we can open the cottage." " Oh, sure." "You can always go somewhere." " (phone)" " Those nasty little snobs aren't worth it." "There must be something I can do." "You can't pin 'em down, Phil." "They never say straight out or put it in writing." " They'll worm out of it one way or another." " Phil." "It's Tom." "He wants you." "He sounds frightened." "Hello, Tom." "What's up?" "What?" "There's a bottle of medicine in the cabinet." "Give some to Grandma right away." " I'll be right there." " What is it?" " Sounds like a stroke." " Look up Dr Abrahams." "Ask him to get there." "JE Abrahams." "I'm going with you." " Tsk, tsk, tsk..." " Hm?" "She is magnificent." "Never complains." "Just worries about my school if I'm here all day." " Maybe we ought to hire a part-time maid." " Dry dishes with your mouth shut." "It's faster." "Cheer up." "Postponing a wedding isn't the worst thing in the world." " Just a week, two at most, Abrahams said." " I'm afraid I won't be here for it." "What?" "!" "Why, Dave, you've got to be." " We couldn't get married without you." " Why?" "What happened?" "Nothing." "That's just it." "I can't abandon my family." "Or find a house or an apartment." "If it was just me, I'd sleep in the subway." "But I've got Carol and the kids." "I've gotta go back." "No two ways about it." "I'm licked." "Yeah, but... that means the job, your whole future." "I'll live." "I did before." "Why, Dave, that's terrible." "I called Carol last night." "I told her I'd give it one more day but I know there isn't a chance." "She's lonely too." "I've gotta go back." "Big job or not." "What is it, Phil?" " Oh, nothing." " Phil, let's get out of the house for a while." "Kathy won't mind, and you know Ma's out of danger now." "You need some air." " I am going out." "I'm going up to Flume Inn." " What?" "I'll use the plane tickets we had for this afternoon." " What for?" " It's a waste of time." "There must be a time once when you fight back." "I wanna make 'em look me in the eye and do it." "I want the satisfaction." "I can't explain it, but I wanna do it for myself." " Phil, they're nothing more than..." " Let him do it." "You have to face 'em once." " I did it once, at Monterey." " They are more than nasty little snobs." "You call 'em that and you can dismiss 'em." "They're persistent little traitors to everything this country stands for." "You have to fight 'em." "Not just for the "poor, poor Jews", as Dave says, but for all this country stands for." "Anyway, I'm going." "See you later." " You'll find this room more comfortable." " Thank you." "I have a reservation, double room and bath, today through Thursday." " In what name?" " Green." "Philip Green." "Yes, Mr Green." " My wife will be here tomorrow." " Oh, yes." " Oh, one more thing." " Yes?" "Is your hotel restricted?" "Well..." "I'd hardly say it was restricted." "Then it's not restricted?" "Would you excuse me a moment, please?" " How do you do, Mr Green?" " How do you do?" "In answer to your question, may I inquire, are you," "Uh, that is, do you follow the Hebrew religion yourself?" "Or do you just want to make sure?" "I've asked a simple question." "I'd like a simple answer." "Well, you see, we do have a very high-class clientele and... well, naturally." "Then you do restrict your guests to Gentiles?" "Well, I wouldn't say that, Mr Green." "In any event, there's been some mistake." "We don't have a free room in the entire hotel." "But perhaps I can fix you up at the Brewster Hotel near the station." "I'm not staying at the Brewster." "Look, I'm Jewish and you don't take Jews." "That's it, isn't it?" " I never said that." " If you don't accept Jews, say so." "Don't raise your voice to me, Mr Green." "Speak quietly, please." "Do you or don't you?" "Mr Green, I'm a very busy man." "If you want me to phone the Brewster, I'll do so." "Otherwise..." "Otherwise what?" "(strikes bell)" " (front door slams)" " Tommy?" "Oh, Phil." "Hello." "It was bad." "I can tell by your face." "Dave was right." "It was a waste of time." " How's Ma?" " She's fine." "She's asleep." "Tom's out playing." " Where's Dave?" " He's out with Anne." "He packed all afternoon." "They're having a last night on the town." "They'll wind up here later." " How about some coffee?" " No, thanks." "Tired, darling?" "No." "I'm..." "I'm just thinking about Dave." " You're thinking about the cottage." " Yes, I did think about that." "So have I. You must know that." "And it wouldn't work, Phil." "It would be too uncomfortable for Dave moving into one of those neighbourhoods." "Darling, don't you see that?" "It's detestable, but that's the way it is." "It's even worse in New Canaan." "There nobody can sell or rent to a Jew." "Even in Darien, where Jane's house is and my house is, there's a gentleman's agreement..." "Gentleman's?" "Kathy, you can't..." "You're not gonna fight it, Kathy." "You're just gonna give in, play along, just let their idiotic rules stand." "I don't play along." "But what can one person do?" "Tell 'em to go jump in the lake!" "What can they do?" "Plenty!" "Ostracise him." "Some of the markets not deliver food." "Not even wait on him." "Phil, the series will be over by the time we get there." " Phil, face facts." " You expect us to live in that cottage now?" "You can't change the world." "I'm on Dave's side." "Well, I'm not on Dave's side or any side, except against their side." "Do you or don't you believe in this?" "Because if you do, how can you talk about..." " Tom, please." "Kathy and I are talking." " But, Pop, I..." "Tom, what is it?" "What's the matter?" "Did you have a fight?" "Argument with one of the guys?" "They called me a dirty Jew!" "And a stinking kike!" " And they all ran off and..." " Oh, darling, it's not true!" "It's not true." "You're no more Jewish than I am." "It's a horrible mistake." "Kathy!" "Come with me, Tom." "We'll talk about it in here." "(Tom sobs)" "Take it easy." "Take it easy, son." " Want some water?" " Yes." "Where'd it happen?" " Jimmy in it?" "Somebody sock somebody?" " No." "They just yelled it." "It was at our corner." "One was a kid from school." "They were playing hop and I asked could I play too." "Then the school one said no dirty little Jew could play with them." "Then they all yelled those other things." "I started to speak, then they all yelled "Your father has a long, curly beard" and turned and ran." "Why did they, Pop?" "Why?" "Come on." "Drink some of this." "Did you wanna tell 'em that you weren't really Jewish?" " No." " That's good." "See, there's a lot of kids just like you who are Jewish and if you said it, it would be admitting there was something bad in being Jewish and something swell in not." "They wouldn't fight." "They just ran." "Yeah, I know." "There's a lot of grown-ups just like that too, Tom." "Only, they do it with wisecracks instead of yelling." " OK?" " Sure." "Attaboy." " Wanna go and read while I talk to Kathy?" " OK." "Oh, uh..." "Let's keep this to ourselves till Grandma's well, huh?" "OK." "Phil, I've got something to tell you." "I'm pretty tired of feeling wrong." "Everything I do or say is wrong about anything Jewish." "All I did just now was to face facts about Dave and Darien." " And to tell Tom just what you did..." " Notjust what." "You assured him he's a wonderful creature:" "A white Christian American." "You gave him a taste of superiority the poison that millions of parents give their children." " You do think I'm an anti-Semite." " No." "You do." "You've thought it secretly for a long time." "No." "But I see that lots of nice people who aren't people who despise it and deplore it and protest their own innocence help it along, then wonder why it grows." "People who'd never beat up a Jew." "People who think anti-Semitism is away off in some crackpot place with low-class morons." "That's the biggest discovery I've made, Kathy." "The good people, the nice people." "You mean you're not going to Darien this summer?" " Let's save that for another time." " I hate everything about this horrible thing!" "They make trouble for everybody." "They force people to take sides." "Quit it!" "Quit that." "They didn't suggest the series." "They haven't got a single thing to do with you and me!" "Don't shout at me." "I know what you're thinking about marrying me." "I saw it on your face when I said that to Tom." "And don't treat me to any more lessons of tolerance." "I'm sick of it!" "I'm not going to marry into hothead shoutings and nerves and you might as well know it now." "Kathy." " I'm sorry I shouted." "I hate it when I do it." " It's notjust the shouting." "It's everything." "You've changed since that first night I met you at Uncle John's." "It's no use, Phil." "Now I know why I drew back when you told me the angle." "You're doing an impossible thing." "You are what you are for the one life you have." "You can't help it if you were born Christian and not Jewish." "It doesn't mean you're glad." "But I am glad." "There, I've said it." "It'd be terrible." "I'm glad I'm not." "I could never make you understand that." "You could never understand that it's a fact." "Like being glad you're good-looking instead of ugly, rich instead of poor young instead of old, healthy instead of sick." "You could never understand that." "It's just a practical fact, not ajudgment that I'm superior." "But you could never see that." "You'd twist it into something horrible." "A conniving, an aiding and abetting, a thing I loathe as much as you do." "It's better to finish it now." "Get it over with right now." "I..." "I hate you for doing this." "We could have been so happy." "We had so much to enjoy and so much to share." "And I hate you for taking it away from both of us." "I hate you for that." "(knock on door)" " Whaddaya know?" "He's asleep, this early." " On your last night?" "Let's wake him up." " Let the poor guy alone." " It's against my deepest principles." "Hey, Phil." "Come on, wake up." "It's us." " Let the poor lug alone." " I told you." "I never let any man alone." "Hey!" "I thought we were expected, sleepyhead." "Where's Kathy?" " She left early." " My, you look nice in pyjamas." "Get on a dressing gown." "I'll close my eyes." "Go get the ice cubes so he can get dressed." "He wouldn't let a dame see his ratty bathrobe." "Go on." "Don't trifle with your luck." "I don't think men should wear coats and ties." "They lookjust wonderful in shirts and pants - and in pyjamas!" "What's wrong, Phil?" "Skip it." "Flume Inn?" "Tommy got called "dirty Jew" and "kike" by some kids down the street." "Came home pretty badly shaken up." "Now you know it all." "That's the place they really get at you:" "Your kids." "Now you even know that." "Well, you can quit being Jewish now." "There's nothing else." "My own kids got it without the names, Phil." "Just setting their hearts on a summer camp their bunch were going to and being kept out." "It wrecked them for a while." "The only other thing that makes you wanna murder is..." "There was a boy in our outfit." "Abe Schlussman." "Good soldier." "Good engineer." "One night we..." "we got bombed, and he caught it." "I was ten yards off." "Somebody said "Gimme a hand with this sheeny."" "Those were the last words he ever heard." "Good morning." "Good morning." "Miss Wales... here it is." "The first three instalments, ready to go." "Send every ten pages downstairs." "Have it set up in galley immediately." "Tell 'em I'm in a hurry." "A big hurry." " How long will that much take you?" " Under 10,000 words." "I can finish by tonight." "I am pretty fast." ""I Was Jewish for Eight Weeks."" "Why, Mr Green, you're a Christian!" " But I never..." " Well?" "I've been around you more than anybody and I never once..." "What's so upsetting about that, Miss Wales?" "You mean there is some difference between Jews and Christians?" "Look at me." "Look at me hard." "I'm the same man I was yesterday." "That's true, isn't it?" "Why should you be so astonished?" "You can't believe anybody would give up the glory of being a Christian for eight weeks." "That's what's eating you, isn't it?" "If I say that's anti-Semitism, your feeling that being Christian is better than being Jewish you'll tell me I'm heckling you or I'm twisting your words around or it's just facing facts, as someone else said to me yesterday." "Face me, Miss Wales." "Look at me." "Same face, same eyes, same nose, same suit, same everything." "Here." "Take my hand." "Feel it!" "Same flesh as yours, isn't it?" "No different today than it was yesterday." "The only thing that's different is the word "Christian"." "Of course I'll see him." "Send him right in." " Good morning." " Thanks for seeing me, John." "Sorry to break in on you." "I gave the first half to Miss Wales for typing." " I'll finish by the end of the week." " Good." "I want to clear out." " Completely?" " Yeah, completely." " Back to California?" " As soon as we pack." " Will the office get me train tickets?" " Yes." "What about future assignments?" " I'll..." "let you know." " (intercom)" "I don't want to be disturbed for anything." "Sorry about you two." "Kathy told my wife this morning." "She seemed pretty upset." "I'd have liked it to go on." "It seemed so right, you two." "Anything I can do?" "Can I be of any help?" "Talk is useless, I know, but..." "maybe someone who knew you both..." "Thanks, John." "Thanks a lot." "I'd better get back." "I'm clearing out of the office tonight." "I'll finish the last three instalments at home, bring 'em in and we'll have one more session." "Hey, I'm lookin' for you." "It's the goldarnedest idea for a series this magazine has ever run." "I couldn't put these ten pages down." "The place is buzzing." "About artwork." "Photographic treatment's my hunch." "OK." "But no pictures of my kid or me or my mother." "Understand?" "Stop pushing' me around." "That's the trouble with you Christians." "Aggressive, loud, pushy." "Everybody's got a copy but me." "When's my turn to see it?" "The place is in a frenzy over the wonderful plot." "Though what plot there can be to a series on anti-Semitism escapes me." "This is something." "It's hot all right." "You fooled me, Phil, completely." "Though I did want to say, how have you lived this long spending this much juice on it?" "I get it now." "Everything." " This is dynamite." " Read the rest of it." "If everybody'd act it outjust one day of the year, it'd end overnight." "I gotta go." "Minify ordered everything stops for this." "See you later." "It's a wonderful notion, Phil." "Congratulations." "Hey, you look kind of beat." "I worry about you." " I'm fine." " Uh-huh?" "It's over with you and Kathy, isn't it?" "Phil, I guessed it last night but I wasn't sure." "It is over, isn't it?" "Everything's so rotten, Phil." "For me too." "Look, if you're free tonight, come to my place and listen to my troubles." "How about it?" "OK." "Thanks." "We'll have dinner." " Feeling better?" " Yeah." "Good." "You almost smiled a minute ago." "You take your coffee black, don't you?" "And one lump." "I remember from the party." "You do?" "You're quite a girl, Anne." "I don't think I told you that before." "Me?" "Sure." "Everybody loves Anne." "You said you weren't very happy." "Do you want to talk about it?" "Nothing bores a man like an unhappy female." "Now look, Anne." "We're good friends." "Even in this short a time, we've been through quite a bit together." "It's good for me to be able to be with you tonight." "I wish you would talk to me." "All right, I'll talk." "We've been skirting it all evening." "Let's bring it out and clear the air." "Do you mind if I say something about you and Kathy?" " Let's don't." " All right, Phil." "Mind your manners." "Be a gentleman." "Don't let the flag touch the ground." "This sort of honourableness gets me sick, Phil." " I think you're pretty straight and she's..." " Anne, drop it!" "OK." "I'm a cat." "And this is dirty pool." "But I'm intolerant of hypocrites." "That's what I said, Phil:" "Hypocrites." "She'd rather let Dave lose thatjob than risk a fuss up there." "That's it, isn't it?" "She's afraid." "The Kathys everywhere are afraid of getting the gate from "nice people"." "They make little clucks of disapproval." "But they want you and Uncle John to stand up and yell and take sides and fight." "But do they fight?" "Oh, no." "Kathy and Harry and Jane and all of 'em." "They scold Bilbo twice a year and think they've fought for democracy in this country." "They haven't got the guts to take the step from talking to action." "One little action on one little front." "It's not the whole answer, but it's gotta start somewhere." "And it's gotta be with action, not pamphlets, not even with your series." "It's gotta be with people." "Nice people, rich people, poor people, big and little people." "And it's gotta be quick." "But not Kathy." "She can't." "She never will." "She doesn't rate you, Phil." "Phil..." "Do you hate me for saying this?" " No." " I'd like to say one thing more." "There's time." "If two people are right for each other, they usually discover it in time." "If I had a kid I loved I'd want him to be brought up with people who felt the way I did about the basic things." "Are you proposing, Anne?" "Maybe." "Maybe I am." "Hello." "Oh, Dave." "Hello." "Thank you for coming." "It was good of you." " You know about Phil and me?" " Yes." "I want to ask you something." " And I want you to answer me honestly." " Go ahead." "Do you think I'm anti-Semitic?" " No, Kathy, I don't." " Phil does." " Does he?" " You know I'm not anti-Semitic." "You're a Jew and you know it." "Why can I make it clear to everybody but Phil?" "I was the one who suggested the series." "Did you know that?" " No, I didn't." " I hate this thing as much as he does." "Why can't he see it?" "Why?" "Tonight at dinner a man told a vicious story and I was sick with rage and shame." " But Phil actually..." " What kind of story, Kathy?" " Just a story." "It had nothing to..." " Suppose you tell me anyway." "Well, it was just a vulgar little joke." "It has nothing to do with this." "Take it easy, Kathy." "Maybe it has." "What kind of ajoke?" "I can take naughty words, you know." "But why?" "Oh, all right." "It was a man named Lockhardt and he tried to get laughs with words like "kike" and "coon", and I despised him and everybody else there." " What did you do?" "When he told the joke?" "What do you mean?" "I mean... what did you say when he finished?" "I wanted to yell at him and get up and leave." "I wanted to say to everyone at that table:" "Why do we sit here and take it when he's attacking everything we believe in?" "Why don't we call him on it?" " And what did you do?" " I just sat there." "I felt ashamed." "We all just sat there." "Yeah." "And then you left and got me on the phone." "Later, after dinner was over, I said I was ill and I am." "I'm sick through." "I wonder if you'd feel so sick now, Kathy, if you had nailed him." "There's a funny kind of elation about socking back." "I learned that a long time ago." " Phil's learned it." " And I haven't?" "Lots of things are pretty rough, Kathy." "This is just a different kind of a war." " And anybody who crawls away is a quitter..." " I didn't say that." "You did." "Somebody told a story." "Sure, a man at a dinner table told the story and the nice people didn't laugh." "They even despised him for it." "But they let it pass." "And behind thatjoke is Flume Inn and Darien and Tommy and those kids..." "And if you don't stop with thatjoke, where do you stop?" " Is that what you mean?" " That's right." "Where do you call a halt?" "I got mad at Phil because he expected me to fight this instead of getting mad at the people who help it along, like Lockhardt." "Not just old Lockhardt." "At least he's out in the open." "But what about the other dinner guests?" "They're supposed to be on your side." " And they didn't act or..." " No, they didn't." "And I didn't." "That's the trouble:" "We never do." "It all links up, Dave." "Phil will fight." "He can fight." "He always will fight." "And if I just sit by and... feel sick, then I'm not a fit wife for him." "It was always on those deeper issues that we had our quarrels." "Always." " And I never knew it until now." " Sure." "A man wants his wife to be more than just a companion, Kathy." "More than his beloved girl." "More than even the mother of his children." "He wants a sidekick, a buddy, to go through the rough spots with and she has to feel that the same things are the rough spots or they're always out of line with each other." "You're not cast in bronze, sweetie." "You're nice and soft and pliable and you can do anything you have to do, or want to do, with yourself." "Can I?" "Can I?" "But it's got to be more than talk." "(front door)" "Now don't scold, Phil." "I couldn't sleep so I sneaked into your room and stole the first two instalments." "Come here." "Thanks, Ma." "I think maybe I'd rather have that than almost anything." "I wish your father could have read this, Phil." "He'd have liked it." "He'd have liked this." ""Leaving the inn, I knew all about every man or woman who'd been told the job was filled when it wasn't."" ""Every youngster who'd ever been turned down by a college or a summer camp."" ""I knew the rage that goes through you when you see your own child shaken and dazed."" ""From that moment I saw an unending attack by adults on kids of seven and eight and ten and twelve on adolescent boys and girls trying to get a job or an education or into medical school."" ""And I knew that they had somehow known it too - they:" "Those patient, stubborn men who argued and wrote and fought and came up with the Constitution and the Bill of Rights."" ""They knew that the tree is known by its fruit, and that injustice corrupts a tree that its fruit withers and shrivels and falls at last to that dark ground of history where other great hopes have rotted and died where equality and freedom remain still the only choice for wholeness and soundness in a man or in a nation."" " Your father would have liked you to say that." " Not enough of us realise it, Ma." "Time's getting short." "Not enough people, and the time's running out." " You mean Kathy?" " Notjust Kathy." "All the Kathys." "Everywhere." "You know something, Phil?" "I suddenly want to live to be very old." "Very." "I want to be around to see what happens." "The world is stirring in very strange ways." "Maybe this is the century for it, and that's why it's so troubled." "Other centuries had their driving forces." "What will ours have been when men look far back to it one day?" "Maybe it won't be the American century after all." "Or the Russian century or atomic century." "Wouldn't it be wonderful if it was everybody's century when people all over the world - free people - found a way to live together?" "I'd like to be around to see some of that, even the beginning." " I may stick around for quite a while." " (front door slams)" "Hi, Dave." "Hello?" "Mr Case?" "Dave Goldman calling." "I'm sorry to call you at this late hour, but I can take thatjob." "I'm bringing my family from California immediately." "I've got a house." "Thanks." "So am I." "She's gonna live up there all summer at her sister's." "And if anybody dishes anything out, she'll be right there to dish it back." "Yes, sir." "I think I'll stick around for a long time." "Thanks, Dave." "Subtitles by Visiontext" "ENGLISH SDH"