" All right, you boys." "I know you're both new so this may seem a bit strange and unfamiliar to ya at first." "Just gotta pace yourself, that's all." "That's the key." "Keep the sewage flowing'." "That's the idea." "Somethin' bad comes into the trap, it's our job to fish it out." "Fish it out, dump it in the bins." "That's it." "Basic." " Hey, five bucks." " Save it for your retirement." " Aw, that's nothin'." "I once fished a kilo of heroin out of the trap." "Turned it over to the police, of course." "Yeah, find all sorts of stuff." "Diamond rings and necklaces." "Wanna know a little secret?" "My Lizzie's engagement ring?" "Got it right here." "Yes, sir." "I once fished a woman's hand out with her fingerprints cut off." "And embryos." " Embryos?" " You know, don't want it around." "Flush it down." " Bullshit." " Oh, we get 'em." "Four or five a year." "Sometimes like they ain't got no arms and legs and shit." "You know, deformed." "Sometimes we get things don't rightly know what the hell they are." "I reckon I've seen just about everything that can come out of a sewer pipe." "Aw." " What?" "What the hell is this?" " Come on, Martin." "What is it?" " Eh, it's just one of them thangs." " Holy shit." " Man." " So what is it?" " Well, like I said." "It's a, one of them thangs." " What do we do with it?" " I'll take care of it." "That's my responsibility as head of the shift, so you two can relax." "Everything's under my control." " Well, that's the whole point, George." "I knew you had bicephalic fetus." "I sold it to you." "That's why I know that two-headed darling's a boy." "This one I got now is a girl." "You'll have a matched set." "Well now I think we're talking somewhere along the lines of $12,500 dollars with free delivery." "Yes, George." "Honey, honey, I know the two-headed babies ain't as rare as they once were, but you can't exactly pick one up at Sears, now can you?" " International Medical Specimens, Inc." "Elvina speaking." "Uh-huh." "Uh-huh." "Okay, now." "Hold on." "I'll see if Ms. Yost is free." "Hi, hello?" "Um, Ms. Yost, she's like on another call sort of thing." "Do you think you can hold?" " Yeah, yeah, I can hold." " Okay, sweetie." " Honey, honey I gotta tell you." "When I first looked into those two pairs of baby blues peeking out at me from that bottle of denatured alcohol," "I thought of you." "But you know, your Belinda doesn't believe in the hard sell." "I mean, you ain't interested." "I pick up the phone, this little two-headed angel's gonna be flying to somebody else." " All right, fine, fine." "All right, so what should I do?" "What do you want me to do?" "Come down there with the cash?" " Georgy boy." "This is a no deposit, no return kind of business." "Want to come on down, take a look?" " Yeah." " That's fine." "You like the little angel, you give me a certified check." "Cash and carry." "Well, I look forward to seeing you, too." "Right." " All right, have fun." " Yes, baby, you got it." "You are so good." "Elvina, was that guy from the sewer still on hold?" " Ah, well, he's still on the line, but I can't, um" " Fine, fine, fine." " I think the hold thing ain't workin'." " Nevermind." "Martin, angel." "Long time no hear." "Where have you been hiding yourself?" " Well, you know, I've been working in the sewer." " Uh-huh." " But I found this thing and I'm interested in it." "It's kind of like" " Mmm-hmm." " It's got two eyes, two mouths." " Say that again." " It's got two mouths, two ears, two eyes." " No, no, no." "Just describe it." "Yeah." " It's got two heads." "Yeah." "I'll be right down." "Elvina, call Mr. Lazar." "Tell him may have something really hot coming in." "Tell him to meet me down in cold storage in, oh shoot, an hour." " Well, what about Dr. Lorca?" "I mean, I've got, I mean I thought we was supposed to" " Honey, if I wanted a thinking receptionist you'd be working at Burger King, okay?" "Now pick up the phone and call Mr. Lazar." "I've gotta run." " Well, can I take... lunch?" "Hello?" "Dr. Lorca?" "Um, this is Elvina Shaw from" " How are you?" " Well, you know, you know how you told me to call you if" "Why yes she is." "Just like you suspected, I bet." "Uh-huh, Mr. Lazar." "That's right." "Uh-huh." "Sure, sure." "As soon as I find somethin' out." "Uh-huh." "Well, thank you." " Sheila, this world is full of dishonest people." " Due tell, Doc." " I have paid this woman, this Belinda Yost, a costly retainer for years to guarantee that I will have the first opportunity to buy her unusual specimens." " Don't have to tell me." "I write the checks." " And now she has gone behind my back." "And to whom do you think?" " Smithsonian?" " Oh-ho, that would be bad enough." "But she's sneaking behind my back with that gauche, undiscriminating collector of medical garbage." "Napoleon Lazar." "How can I continue to do business with this dishonest woman?" " Doc, you want my opinion?" " Perhaps." " You say the world is full of dishonest people." "I say if you can't beat 'em, join 'em." " So, has Ms. Yost said anything more about the specimens?" " Um, nope." " Nope." "Ah, well." "Well, Ms. Yost." " The, the Napoleon." "Just hold on one sec and I want to show you something that'll knock your socks off." " When I leave in the middle of a board meeting," "I expect to have my socks knocked." " Have I ever disappointed you?" " Occasionally." " Oh, now, don't be like that." "Well, Marty boy, have I made you happy?" " You sure have." "If I find anything else" " You just give me a call." "Elvina, why don't you show Martin on out." " Um, yeah, sure." "Come on." " And close the door on your way out." "Sir, you're about to spend a huge quantity of money." " Well, it's always good to know these things." " In fact, I'm gonna tell you exactly what you're gonna do." "In about 60 seconds you're gonna pick up your portable phone and you're gonna call someone, and you're gonna have them deliver to me a certified check for $650,000 dollars." " How eccentric of me." " In addition, you're gonna sign some documents" "I got tucked in here somewhere." "Said documents constituting a guarantee to purchase no less than $250,000 dollars of medical specimens from me per year for the next 10 years." " How generous of me." "I give you a check," "I agree to purchase a quarter of a million dollars of your medical leftovers?" " Per year for the next 10 years." " Per year for the next 10 years." "My goodness." "Whatever has come over me?" " Napoleon, you're sweet, but I can see right through you into the other side, my friend." "I got three drunks, two junkies, and six fat people in my immediate family alone." "I know when someone's hooked on something." "I know all the signs." "I just name my price and I won't negotiate." "If the air's too thin for you, then there's no reason for me to open this box." "I won't get more from anybody else, I know that." "But this is what I want." "And if you won't give it to me, then I'll take less from Lorca." " Don't mention that medical fraud, that cadaverous Castilian dilettante." " Honey, you're either in the game or you're not." " Open the box." "May I?" " Please." "It's real, all right." "Don't think I would've bought it otherwise." "It ain't no Piltdown, baby." " Alfonse, a 10, please." "You are to go to Mr. Willitson at our special bank." "You are to have him draft a certified check for $650,000 dollars made out to Ms. Belinda Yost." " That's right." " Repeat please." " Ah, $650,000 dollars to Belinda Yost." " That is correct." "You are then to hand carry that check to me here at International Medical Specimens." "Estimated time, please?" " Make it snappy, nappy." " I think about two hours." " Thank you." "That will be acceptable." "And Alfonse, don't be late." "You'll have your check within two hours." " Honey, you just made me a very happy girl." " The documents, please." " Yeah, Doc?" " The little pigeon is on his way." " Roger Wilco." "Over and out." " What?" "What?" "This is my private road." "Oh." "Yes, yes." "Are you alive?" "Hmm?" "You know, you shouldn't be here." "Hey, you." " Don't move, little froggy." " Ah, what is this?" " It ain't Candid Camera." "Open the door." "You try anything funny," "I'll fill you with so many holes people will be able to read through ya." " My wallet is in my inside pocket." " Move." "Shut up." "Up against that tree." " Just what do you plan on doing?" " Not answering stupid questions." "Move!" " Hey, what are you doing walking around like that?" "With no top on?" " I'm free." "I'm proud." "I'm woman." "Now wrap your arms around that tree." " You realize, of course, you're gonna go to jail for this." " I know." "That's why I keep comin' back to a life of crime." "It's 'cause I like being in jail." "Trouble is they keep letting me out." "Think I'd get a longer sentence with murder?" " How amusing." " I happen to have an excellent sense of humor." "Sit tight for me." " Wait, there's nothing of value in there." " Where you goin'?" "The beach?" " It's um, it's a biological specimen." "It's, it's dangerous, contagious." " Wow, it's cool." "Bet this'll be a real ice breaker at parties." " No, no, no, wait." "You can take anything else." "Take the car." " I already got a car." " Listen, listen." "I'll give you more money." " What are you gonna do?" "Write me a check?" "See you around, froggy." " No, no, no, wait." "Come back, please." "Please." "Come back, you thief." "Please." "You ho." "I'll kill you." "I'll kill you!" "Come back!" "Come back!" " It's magnificent." " I've never seen anything like it." " No one has." "There never has been anything like this." "Never." "It's, it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." "Quickly, one of the large jars." " Can do." " There you are, my treasure." "This is your new home." "Here you will be appreciated, loved." " Doc, you two want to be left alone?" " Yes, yes, I think we do." "I won't be having dinner tonight, I think." " Well, I will." "See you later, Doc." " Sheila?" "Don't forget the preservative." " Can do." " And Sheila, thank you so much for this." " My pleasure, Doc." "I always knew I'd make a great highway robber." "I'm going to go take care of the car." "[ Warning ]" "Acid bath." "Please stand clear." "Three, two, one, bye." " Right, okay." "Let me just see if I can get this straight in my head." "There were these guys who sell freaks in bottles, and you're like this Class A, big time freak collector." " Biological oddities." " Right." "And like your job is sellin' the freaks in the bottles that this guy buys." " That's right." " You're like the chief freak broker in this freak collecting underground." " Remember the skeleton of the Elephant Man?" "Michael Jackson wanted to buy it?" " He didn't get it." " He didn't come to me." " Yeah." "Now my problem is you sell this really hot shit freak to him for some undisclosed sum, and somebody rips it off at gunpoint." " And keeps me handcuffed to a tree for the next 14 hours." " So why don't you go the police?" " Well." " The thing is, Mr. Kantor, although what we do is not considered illegal, it has a, oh, what's the word?" " Creepy?" " Unsavory reputation." "The legal situation is, oh, a rather gray area." " And we want to keep it gray." "That's no police." "We know where my specimen is." " We can't be sure." " Oh, I can be sure." "It was stolen by one of the most depraved, immoral and covetous creatures on the face of the earth." "Dr. Emilio Lorca." " I take it he has an interest in this stuff?" " I'm a serious collector." "Lorca is a dabbler, a dilettante." " So how did this Lorca guy know that you had this goober?" " I would very much like to know the answer to that question myself." " Could your phone in your office be bugged?" " I check my offices bi-monthly." "This is a business that requires discretion, and the last time was only two days ago." " Your receptionist?" " My receptionist is a performing chimp in human disguise." "She's too stupid to be dishonest." " Ms. Yost, I have yet to meet a person that's stupid." "Is she the cupcake out in the waiting room?" " Yeah, she's the cupcake." "Elvina." " Send her in." "Hi, Elvina." " Hi, there." " You know what's goin' on here?" " Um, well." " Take your time." " Ye, yeah." " Yeah, you do." " Yeah." " Okay, now." "Listen carefully." "Dr. Lorca, he was arrested earlier today." "He told the police that you helped him steal the freak from Mr. Lazar here." " That fucker!" " He told the police that you were the one who actually stuck the gun in Mr. Lazar's face and left him handcuffed to a tree." " Nuh-uh." "Not me." "All I did was I..." " He said the whole thing was your idea." " Oh, God." "Oh, God." "Oh, God." "Oh, God." " I'm sorry, baby, but it looks like jail for you." "Doc's a respected man." "You're not." "He's cuttin' a deal right now." "You know, it would go a lot easier for you with the judge if you'd just confess." " No, no I swear on my honor." "Cross my heart, hope to die." "All I did was just tell him about the specimen." "I didn't know nothin' else." " And I put up with your typing for three years 'cause I thought you were too stupid to stab me in the back." "You're fired." "You're fired from everywhere." "You're fired from the fucking universe." " Huh?" " The police don't know anything about Dr. Lorca." "I lied to you." " Yeah?" "Yeah!" "Well, well, I lied to you, too." "Ow!" " You ungrateful little poodle dog." " Well, it was all your fault." "You broke your word to Dr. Lorca." "He was supposed to have first dibs." " And what are you?" "Defender of the fucking public morals?" " Oh, you're an evil, corrupt person." "She takes drugs." "She doesn't wear any panties." "She, she, she has sex in her office with all these men all on her desk." " You ungrateful little poodle dog!" " Ladies, ladies." " Oh, get off of me!" " Ladies." "Ah!" " Fucking ladies, knock it off!" "Knock it off!" "Ms. Yost, hey, Ms. Yost." "Normally I'm all in for a good cat fight, but seeing how's you are paying me $160 dollars an hour for my time, you might want to consider calling this one a draw for right now." " Well, I think I'm gonna leave now." " No, actually I think you're gonna stay." "'Cause even though they haven't caught Dr. Lorca yet, it's still a possibility." "And that makes you an accessory before the fact." " I'm a what?" " It means when you called Dr. Lorca and told him about the goober, you helped him to steal it in the eyes of the law." " Nuh-uh." " No, uh-huh." "So if you want to stay out of the clutches of the highly immoral and sexually diverse females at county jail, your full-time job from now until I say so is getting back the aforementioned freak." "You understand?" "Look, do what I say, you stay out of jail." "Got it?" " Yeah." " So, you see?" "My suspicions were firmly grounded." "That intellectual fraud Lorca is probably pawing my specimens right now with his thick, clumsy fingers." "Touching it, probing it, violating it." "Inserting instruments into the most private" " We get the idea, nappy." "So what do we do now?" " Simple." "You call up Dr. Lorca and you tell him you need to talk to him about a new specimen." "Something he's sure to be interested in." "But you need to come over and see him in person." "Now you don't want to let on that you suspect him." "He'll even know that Mr. Lazar here got robbed." "Make it convincing." "Make him want to invite you over." " That'll be as hard as force-feeding chocolate cake to a fat boy." "Then what?" " All four of us take a little ride over to Lorca's and get back your goober." " Aren't you glad you installed the closed-circuit camera like I told you?" " Yes, you're very clever, indeed." "You see?" "Lazar is with him, as you expected." "But who is the other man?" " Muscle, I'll bet." "Should I tell them to get lost?" " No, that might drive them to the police." "They have no proof." "I'll see them in the parlor." "Everything is under control." " It's quite a little castle you got here, Doc." " Yes, it originally stood on the Rhine." "I had it torn down and reassembled here with modern conveniences." " What do you keep in all these rooms?" " Maybe we should take a little tour of your castle." " Really?" "With or without my permission?" " Ah, come on, Doc." "You're too smart to play dumb." "You see the cast of characters here." "You know what's goin' on." " Of course." "I admit, I spoke to your receptionist." "You and I had an arrangement, Ms. Yost." "I had the right to assure myself that that arrangement was being honored, which it was not." " Did you have the right to send your vixen to waylay me?" " I never saw you before in my life, froggy." " Slut." "You cheap slut." " Hey, now slut I don't mind." "But I'm a costly slut." "Deal with it." "Ribbit." " Hey, hey, now settle down." "Settle down." "Do you mind?" " The fact that Ms. Shaw spoke to me is not evidence that I committed any crime." "Certainly not evidence that you could take to the police." "Certainly not evidence that would get you a search warrant." " We don't want to go to the police unless you force us to." "Then of course, we will." "But then maybe nobody gets the goober." "You go to jail, and you could lose your entire collection." " Even if I were to believe that you would go to the police, go to the police with what?" " At which point Dr. Lorca then told me that he meant to steal the specimen from Mr. Lazar and that further he intended to employ his female assistant whose name is Sheila in furtherance of his plans." "Well, shoot." "I don't want to go to jail." "There are lesbians there." " I always thought that was one of the advantages." " So you see, Dr. Lorca, if I don't get it, no one will have it." " Ms. Yost, I am prepared to match whatever" "Mr. Lazar offered you, to the penny." " Well, Dr. Lorca, you must understand that it really" " It's not up to her." "The specimen is my property." " She cannot sell what is not hers to sell." "I had the right of first refusal on any specimen." "A right for which I paid." " Gentlemen, that's a matter for the courts to decide." " Don't be childish, my little Emilio." "You know, I always find it amusing." "A man like you inherits what?" "$50 million dollars?" "And starts to think he's really wealthy." "Well, I'm afraid that you're playing all together outside your league." "Reconcile yourself." "Some things are simply too rich for your blood." "I am a serious committed collector." "Not some amateur." " I, sir, am a gourmet of the unusual." "You are nothing more than a gourmand." " I have the most complete collection of" " Of biological trash." "You come here barking at my door like a mongrel." "Very well." "I challenge you." "Even a man who putters through life in a creaky succession of little lime-green Honda Civics knows the superiority of the Rolls Royce when he sees it with his own eyes." "I will show you my specimens." "If you can claim in good conscience that a single specimen of yours surpasses one of my own in perfection, then I am prepared to assure you that your missing specimen will be returned." "If not, then you will disappear from my life forever and I will hear from you and your cohorts no more." "And matters stand as they are." "Do you accept my challenge?" " Gladly." " So what's with all this table-sittin' stuff anyway?" " It's just part of my incredibly cute persona." " Gotta admit, you are pretty cute." "With the vest and the hot pants and stuff." "You know, most women would be a bit uncomfortable seeing company dressed like that, but you pull it off nicely." " Thank you." " So what's with you and the Doc, anyway?" "You were like raised by wolves or somethin' and he found and educated ya?" " No, I answered an ad in the Sunday Herald." "Doc was looking for a personal assistant." "You know, someone to clean the castle, take care of his specimens, keep his books, write his checks." " And he hired you?" " I must say, it worked out rather nicely for the both of us." "Well, I have to admit, there aren't many places in this big, wide world for someone as eccentric and potentially dangerous as myself fits in." " I can't argue with that." "I mean, that look would definitely not fly for say like a dental hygienist." "Man, these little bitty sandwiches are good." "What's in there?" "Salmon?" " Salmon pate and watercress." "I made the pate myself." " Well, I'm glad to see you're enjoying your little sandwiches at $160 dollars an hour, Mr. Kantor." " I look to serve, Ms. Yost, but my services are no longer required." " I want you to know who the hell is keeping you." "So where are we at, Doc?" " Where are we at, you ask." "Well, I am here sampling some of Sheila's delicious pate and watercress sandwiches." " He's so sweet." " You, Mr. Kantor, and Miss Elvina Shaw are cooling your collective heels." "Sheila is being her usual charming self." "And Mr. Lazar is in my study having his soul slowly and inexorably crushed in a hydraulic press." " This planarian." "This planarian." "It's five times larger than any specimen known to science." "Oh, and the condition." "I can count the spines on the anterior palps." "My collection, my life, a sham." "You're inhuman." " Then you admit defeat." " Yes." "No, that was only part of your collection." "What about the human specimens, hmm?" " And you think I would have lower standards for our own species than for flatworms?" " Oh, no talk." "Just show me." " Very well." "Right this way, please." "Follow me." " What?" "Me, too?" " By all means, especially you, my dear." "Uh!" "My babies!" "They're gone!" "Where are they?" "Arrrhh!" " Candella, candella, candella." "What's all this fighting about?" "Emilio." "Emilio, let go of Napoleon's ear right now." "Can we act civilized, please?" "Are you listening to me?" "Don't just stand there." "Stop them!" " What for?" "The Doc's winning." " Kantor, do you mind?" " Ah hum, excuse me." "Mr. Lazar, you roll Doc Lorca over on top." "All right, Doc." "Let Napoleon down or I start breaking some fingers." "Now!" "Now can we all settle down here?" " I swear to God, you two." "Make me ashamed to be in this line of work." " You'll never get away with this." " Neither will you." "Where are my babies?" "What have you done with them?" " I don't know what you're talking about." " Liar!" "You were in the study alone." "No one else could've touched them." " Quite down, you two." "Behave yourselves." "Listen, you were only out of the study for a minute." "How could he have found this place, hidden the goobers, and got back out in that length of time." " I don't know." "Perhaps Mr. Lazar can answer that question himself." " And look, there's alcohol splattered all over the place, and there is none on Mr. Lazar." " Look on the floor." " It's just splatters." " No, no, no, no, look." " Ah." "Nothing inside." " And just what are you suggesting?" "That my specimens broke out of their bottles and climbed through the wall vent?" "No, this is all together too conveniently theatrical a display for my tastes." "I want my babies back and none of you are leaving here until I get them." " You knew your pitiful collection of human oddities could never match mine." "So you staged this absurdity." "You intended this all along." "Well, you Castilian swine, the deal is off." "I want my specimen back." " Wait a sec, wait a sec, wait a sec." " You think you can hide behind your lies or this buffoon." " Hey now, hold on." " You caught me by surprise." "I will never let that happen again." " I said wait a second." "I don't care what any of you says." "This is just not normal." " Yeah boy, there's today's understatement." " That's enough." "I will have my babies back." "Sheila, seal the castle." " What did you just do?" " Just listen." " This is some major fucked up shit." " Ah, you noticed." "Good, I'm glad I'm getting my money's worth." " I should be charging you hazard pay for like psychological trauma." " Aren't you glad you installed the case-hardened steel shutters like I told you?" " I believe the original intention was to keep people out, not in." " Works both ways." " Enough of this nonsense." "Open the doors." " Emilio, I am very disappointed in you." " Really?" "Well, the disappointment is mutual." "Now listen carefully, everyone." "No one is leaving here until my specimens are returned." " What?" "Me, too?" " Oh, no." "You can go." " Oh, thank God." "So now how do I get out of here if" " She was being sarcastic, you moron." " Huh?" "Well that's not very funny." " Stealing is one thing, but kidnapping is something all together different." " And assault and battery." " I shouldn't have to point out that we outnumber you." "Plus, Mr. Kantor is armed." " Uh, no, I'm not." " What?" " I don't carry a gun." "I don't even own one." " $160 dollars an hour and you don't have a gun?" " Who the hell do I look like?" "Mannix?" "You want a bodyguard, get a bodyguard." "You pay me for my skills and investigator, my experience and my mental prowess." " Oh, Christ." "Well, even though Mr. Kantor doesn't have a gun, he's clearly a match for the both of you physically." "You can fight, can't you?" " Oh, yeah, sure." " Plus, with the four of us, we outnumber you four to two." " Actually it's 11 to four." " What?" " Me, the Doc, and nine silly little millimeters." "As in nine millimeter semi-automatic shoots a clip of 20 slugs in half a second." "Aren't you glad I had you buy it for me?" " Indeed, I am." "Please, everyone." "Sit down." " What, me too?" " Yes!" " All right, all right." " Now, I am not, despite recent events, an unreasonable person." "However, let me make it perfectly clear that if my specimens are not returned to me and in perfect condition, none of you are going to get out of here alive." "And rest assured, if they have been harmed in any way, whatever you have done to them, I will do to you." " I'm glad you're not being unreasonable." " Mr. Kantor, Mr. Kantor." "Every man has an overriding passion." "A thing for which he will do anything." "A thing for which he will kill." "For men like me, even like Mr. Lazar, it's the pursuit of biologically unique oddities." "For Ms. Yost, it's money." "For the ineluctable Ms. Shaw, who can say." "Bingo, perhaps." " Huh?" " Enough, please." "Now, my dear Sheila is going to take you upstairs to a little room we have." "More of a storage closet, actually." "You will be locked in." "Then we will search this house." "If we find my babies in good condition," "I will be inclined toward leniency." "Otherwise." "Now before we drag this whole thing out, does someone perhaps have something to say?" " Yeah." "I think all of ya, inclusive, are off to see the Wizard." "First of all, there's no way any of us could've pinched your little goobers." "Second of all, even if we did, who cares?" "Third, the whole freak thing?" "The buying, the selling, the trading?" "It's weird." "Fucked up." "So why don't we just go home." "You two guys can get yourself a life." "Collect stamps, join the Y, go into local politics, go on a date, somethin'." " Well that was pretty pathetic." " What, me too?" " Yes!" " All right." "Everybody's yelling at me." "You try and do the right thing." "You try to help somebody out and this is what happens?" " Come on, pigeons." "This way to the coop." " Oh, don't be so gloomy." "It's the Van Gogh look." " It's probably already infected." "Ms. Yost" " Look, we're all adults here." "Don't be laying no grief on me." " I gotta pee." " Don't let us stop you." " What?" "What?" "In front of everybody?" "That, that's gross!" "Pfff, pfff." "Hey, knock it off!" " Hey, baby." "You want to come up and try this for awhile?" "You don't like it?" "Move." "Ah, talk about a dog shit day." "Goes to show ya, you work for squirrels, you end up nuts." "All right, pass me up something heavy." " How much do you weigh, Elvina?" " Huh?" " Hey, knock it off." "My arms are gettin' tired." " Excuse me." " All right, stand clear." " Well, sure knew how to build 'em back then." " Well, what are we gonna do now?" " Damn." " What the hell's that banging sound?" " Hey, hey." " What?" "What is it?" " Hey, listen." " Where is it coming from?" " It's the other side of this wall." " Who could it be?" " More of Lorca's prisoners, no doubt." "He may have dozens for all we know." " Well there's a comforting thought." "I don't suppose anybody here knows Morse Code?" " Unless it's a telegraph operator on the other side of the wall it really doesn't matter much now does it?" " I guess not." "Hey, other side of the wall?" "Can you hear me?" "Knock twice if you can hear me." "Are you prisoners, too?" "Knock twice if you are." "Hey, so are we." "We're locked in this closet." "Are you locked in, too?" "Knock twice if you are." "Can you get out of your room?" " If you can hear you, why is he knocking at all?" "Why doesn't he just answer?" " Maybe he's a deaf mute." " Elvina, if he were deaf, how could he hear the questions?" " Well, maybe he, I don't know." " Right, clear out of my way." "All right, you out there." "We're locked in this closet, and as you probably know, the entire freaking castle is sealed up tighter than a locked jaw." "It don't look too good for us and it probably don't look too good for you, either." "You help us, we'll help you." "What do you say?" "All right, can you get out of wherever you're at?" "All right, baby." "This is the $64,000 dollar question now." "Can you unlock this door and get us out?" "Does that mean you can't?" "Am I boring you?" " Listen." " Hey, are you out there or not?" "Honey, honey, can you unlock this door and get us out?" "How's it coming?" "What the hell?" "Doe la the open?" " You know what?" "I bet it's a kid." "Maybe a little kid." " I can't make head nor tails of that." " It says door locked." "How open?" " Listen up." "You need to get a crowbar." "It's a metal bar with an edge to slip between the door and the jamb." "You understand?" "How many of you are out there?" "What the hell?" "Four of them?" " My babies." "It makes no sense." "None of them could've gotten upstairs without being seen unless someone would have had to walk through this room in order to reach the rest of the house." "Where could they be?" "Unless, unless he put them in the acid bath after all." "Perhaps his over-inflated ego couldn't accept utter defeat at my hands." "Perhaps my babies..." " Doc, can I give you some advice?" " Yes, yes." " Someone upstairs in that closet has to have a pretty good idea what happened to your babies." "Let's motivate them." " Yes, and we'll start with Lazar." " I think they've got it." "Do you have it?" "Do you have the crowbar?" "Okay, stand back." "That's it." "It's coming!" "Keep it up!" " I'll pay you a $100,000 dollars if you can get me out of this house." " Uh, uh." "It's, it's magnificent." "Look, my specimen." "My specimen." "It's alive." " You know, suddenly this closet doesn't seem so bad." " Do you think they're dangerous?" " I think that would be numbered among the possibilities, yes." " Ms. Yost, I've got to have them." " What?" " Listen to me, all of you." "I'll give you a million dollars each if you help me catch them and get them out of here." " Are your brains fried?" "What are you talkin' about?" " I'll do it." " What?" " For a million dollars?" "I'll help." "Hey, I gotta look to the future." "I mean, since I'm unemployed." " I'm in." "For two million." " What?" " Hey, if she's getting a million," "I'm worth at least two." " Very well." "Done." "I take it you're sitting this one out, Mr. Kantor?" " Can we all hold on a second here?" "Hasn't anybody noticed anything strange?" " Like what?" " Like the fact that these freaks are like alive?" "I mean, that's a little bit odd." "Even for you." "You guys are all Dr. Lorca's freaks, right?" "You were all pickled in bottles, dead?" "I mean, somebody correct me if I'm wrong here, but this is not normal." "These guys no longer fall into the category of being like biological oddities." " Of course I understand that." "They are unique biological oddities." " My babies!" "You're, you're alive." " Get one of those blankets." " No, no gun." "We can't risk injuring them." " Doc, this is really not normal." " That's what I said." " Get away from them, Lorca." "They're coming with me." " Really?" "And where do you think you're going?" " I'm gonna give them the home that they deserve." "Gourmet food, sophisticated entertainment, the finest education, a gymnasium." "Anything, anything you want." " Don't listen to him." "Who kept you safe in your bottles?" "Who tended you?" "Who loved you?" "Don't listen to that man." "To him you'll never be more than another notch in his belt." " Oh, don't believe him." "All he wants to do is put you on a pedestal." "I, I respect you." " Wow, this is really weird." " I want to help you develop your full potential." " Now see what you've done?" "You've upset him." "Calm down, my baby." "My little baby." " I've upset him?" "It was you" " Ah, hell." "I'm gonna throw the blanket." "Sometimes it just takes a woman to" " My babies." " My jewels!" " My ass!" "Ah, God damn it!" " I'll get 'em!" " Stop!" "Stop!" " Don't hurt them!" " I'm doin' my best, Doc." " Get your hands off of him." " It's your attendant that's doing him harm." "Stop it." "Stop it." "You're hurting him." " You see?" "He knows who loves him." " Get back!" "Run!" "Run!" " Are you okay?" " Sure, why not?" " No reason." "No reason at all." "Is there any other way in or out of this place?" " No, not with the windows sealed." " Damn." "Oh, crowbar." " Don't worry." "Deadbolt runs from side to side through the ceiling and the floor." "He's not prying it open." " I guess the Doc believes in security when he's sleepin'." " Not really, but I do." "This is my room." " Ah, nice room." "Very tasteful." " Well, I'm a very tasteful person." " I guess they've quit for now." " Ah, ah, ah, ah." " Mmm, mmm, mmm." "I must confess." "I'm finding this process" " Ah." " Rather stimulating." " Yeah, nappy?" "Uh." "Well, I gotta tell you, normally having my ass admired by some guy who's richer than God would get my juices flowing lickety split, but to be perfectly honest, I'm just, oh, not in the mood." " Just as well, I suppose." "The atmosphere is hardly conducive." "And of course we need to talk about my specimens." " Honey, as things stand now it's more like we're their specimens, if you catch my drift." "Oh." " Well, the first cause of action is immobilize Lorca and that dangerous assistant." "Then we scour the house, and when we find the specimens," "I will convince them to come with us." "Or if necessary, take them by force." " Ah!" "I see you got this all planned out." " For their own good, of course." " Of course." " And of course, your assistance will be of enormous value to me." " Ah!" "Value?" " Oh, monetary value." " Uh." " Enormous." " Uh." " Enormous." " Uh." " Monetary value." " Uh." "Oh, nappy, you're really speaking my language now." " Why Ms. Yost, I've never seen you looking nicer." "Do me a favor?" "Make this one a quicky, will you, you two?" "I gotta pee." "Oh, and remember this is my bathroom." "A little hygiene would be appreciated." " I'm sure that the key to this matter is my most recent acquisition." "This being is almost certainly responsible for the revivification of the others." " So we kill him, the others are paste." "Is that the idea?" " Kill?" "Of course not." "Are you insane?" "I mean that the new one is the one we must reason with." "Persuade." "Their recent actions were merely self-defense in response to Ms. Yost's irrational attack." "I truly believe they do not mean to harm us." "No doubt they are hiding some place now, terrified." " Look, can we at least agree not to enter into open combat 'til all the little goobers are locked up nice and safe?" "Can we do that?" " And who exactly is gonna be doing the locking up?" " The rightful guardian." " Well, I believe you're going to monopolize the discovery that should be, should be" " Monopolized by you?" " Yes." " Well, let me warn all of you." "This house is still sealed." "And only Sheila and I know the proper code key that will unlock the doors and windows." "This house is impervious." " Oh, what now?" "Are you still out there?" "Can you tell us what you want?" " You're not planning on opening that door, are you?" " They stuck a note under the door before." "They can do it again." "Can you write down what you want from us?" "We don't want to hurt you." " Listen." " How could they know how to write?" "It makes no sense." " They did it before." " And is it a friendly message?" " It's gibberish." " No, it isn't." "The message reads, "You hurt bad." ""Scared, hurt." ""We no stay." ""We go." ""You let us go." ""We no go, you die."" " That certainly seems pretty clear." " It is clear that we are dealing in essence with a single dominant intellect." " You mean that double-face one." " Yes." "If in fact this being is only a day or two old, then it has absorbed human speech and reading and a fairly sophisticated level of comprehension in just a matter of hours." "In addition, it seems to have some sort of tentacle hormaphic power, though it does not appear to have influenced us." "It is an altogether new kind of intelligence." "Perhaps a new species." " Mmm, mmm, oh, ah." "Mmm, mmm, ah, ah." "Mmm, mmm, ah, ah." "Mmm, ah, ah, ah." "Ah, get it off!" "Ah!" "Ah!" "Ah!" "No, please!" "Ah!" "Ah!" " Hold still, pinhead!" "Oh, sorry, Doc!" " Get him!" " Oh, sick!" " Somebody watch the door." " That pervert!" "Pervert from hell!" " Wait a second!" "Don't go runnin' around!" "Hold on, blondie, where are you goin'?" " Help me!" "Help me!" "Help me!" " It got up there." "Where are you?" " Jesus fucking Christ!" " Did she hurt them?" " No, no, I think they're okay." " Then get out of my way!" "Little ones, I'll take you out of here." "But first you have to kill them." " Hey, hey, hey." " No, no, no, no, no." "Not all of them." "Just those two." "But first, you've got to force them to tell you the key code." " Don't listen to him." "It's dangerous out there." "Stay here with me." "You'll be safe." "I'll take you out for drives." "Come back." " Excuse me." " Jesus, all we need is a guy in a white suit and a butterfly net to make this freakin' scene complete." " Come out, come out little ones." "Come to papa." " Wherever you are, don't listen to him." "I'm your papa, me!" "There, there you are." "Don't be afraid." "I'm not going to hurt you." "This is your home." " No, no, no." "You belong to me." "I'm the only one who's worthy of you." " Get back, you interloper." " No, he's mine!" " No!" " You fool!" "You bastard!" " You're nothing but a cheap fraud." " That's enough." "Let's settle this once and for all." "If you're man enough." " I was man enough to deal with you before I collected my first spheroid bryozoan colony." " No more words." "Steel only." "En garde." " Ah, excuse me, boys." "I'll just keep looking." " Ha, first blood." " Only fools talk of fresh blood." "It's last blood that counts." " Watch my cyclanthera." " Sorry." " Go Doc, go Doc, go." "Man, if you can't stab him, nobody can." "Hell, Doc's my team." " I have you at last." "Our rivalry has come to an end." "And I am the victor!" " Doc!" " Hold on!" "Hold tight!" " Please, my specimens." "Please take care of my specimens." " Wait up first." "I'm taking care of you." "Come on." "Climb up, climb over, come on." " Yes, yes." "Ahh!" " No, no!" " Come on, come on." "He's gone." "Where all that fuckin' acid come from, I don't know." "But he's gone." "Come on, let's get the hell out of here." " No, beat it." " What?" " You just stay back." "Stay away from me." "I mean it!" " What the hell are you doing?" " Doc said to take care of his specimens." "I'm gonna fucking take care of them." " What are you trying to do?" "Kill yourself?" " Just shut up!" "All right, you little bundles of fun." "I know you can hear me so listen up." "You know what this is?" "This is the way out." "You punch this number in the panel in Doc's chair and all the doors open up." "Come on." "Now we can all die together." "Come on, little babies." "Come on." "That's it." "That's it." "Come on." "One big, happy family." "Come on, you little bundles of fun, you." "That's it." "Come on." "Come on, you little angels." "Oh, good fucking riddance." "Well, what are you waiting for?" "Let's go." " Yeow." "Nasty." "Looks like I'm not gettin' paid for this job." " You got a car?" " Yeah, you plan on comin' with me?" " No point sticking' around here." "No offense." "Looks like I'm gonna start hittin' the want ads again." " Jesus." " I'm gonna go pack a few things." " Sorry I don't have any tables to sit on in here." "Just the usual bench seat." " I'm adaptable." "You know, I bet I'd be a really good private detective." " You'd be great on surveillance the way you just blend right in." " Well, I was thinkin' more along the lines of you being the brains, me being the muscle." "You know, I can be very loyal to the right employer." " So I noticed."