"Looking back on my life " "I gotta admit I've done a lot of idiot things." "MATTI" " HELL IS FOR HEROES" "My press says that's all I've done for the past 15 years." "Sometimes I feel that those stories about me - have made me act the way I have." "Only the bad things make it into the papers - since I quit my career." "Sometimes I feel like a puppet - just giving them the Matti they want." "Yet when they write about me, I feel I still exist." "Sort of." "You get hooked, even if you don't want to." "The main thing is that they write." "Still, it always hurts." "I'm not a brick wall." "I've often wondered - how it feels to be just an ordinary guy on the street." "If you've had a few too many and got into a fight, - it wouldn't make the headlines." "I don't have a clue what that would be like." "Never had much of normal times." "Is it any better than this?" "Never a private day my whole adult life." "It's all public." "Everything." "Even the wedding." "Matti!" "It's your turn." "I never wanted to be Joe Average when I started jumping." "And after the career I had, there's no going back." "What's gotten into him?" "Is he backing out on you?" "Last time I was close to normal, I was a just a kid." "Listen, Matti, " "If I bought you jump skis, would you have the guts to do it?" "I think so." "And then there was no return." "Number one up there, number one in everything." "I was the fearless clown." "And had to live up to it." "Every time." "He doesn't have the guts." " I bet you a hundred." "Go, Masa!" "What if I break someone's boat?" "No problema!" "We'll stop the traffic." "Wait a moment!" "If I feel scared, I imagine myself up in the tower, - where I fear nothing." "Great, Masa, wait, wait." "Take a photo, and we'll send it to the papers." "Is it really 30 feet deep?" " More like 6." "The weather's good!" "Gold in Engelberg, gold in Innsbruck..." "Fucking hell!" "He jumped!" "Did you get the shot?" "It's money, money, money!" " Where is Matti?" "Matti is dead." "Where is Matti?" "Matti has drowned!" "C'mon guys!" "Help me out!" "Go help him now." "You didn't drown?" " No, but I lost my shades!" "He didn't drown." " What a tough guy." "The first round is over." "What are your thoughts now?" "I always think of getting laid." "But jumping first." "Congratulations, Matti." "Good job." "The rest of you crashed like dead crows." "In the team event tomorrow, everyone does the distance." "Is that clear?" "Zero tolerance for alcohol this time." "10 pm curfew." "Warm-up at 8 am." "No special privileges for anyone!" "Is that clear?" "Right, Jari?" " Yes." "Matti?" " OK." "And your sex remark went live in that interview." "Tomorrow, watch your mouth." "I'd rather be up to my neck in shit than talk to journalists." "That's just where you may find yourself, one of these days." "Boring." " Yeah." "Where are you off to?" " Evening stroll." "Yeah, sure." "10 pm curfew for everyone." "How come you're up?" "It's 10. 15." " Smart-ass." "Until you've been up there on the podium, you can shut up." "I don't speak any German." "Do you?" "Of course." "Hey, girls." "There!" "I knew it." "I'm going to turn you in." "There they go." "What's a lard-ass like you got to shout about?" "The rules are clear!" " Let's see about the rules." "Let's see!" "Let's see!" "Watch it!" "Goddammit it's three in the morning!" "Are you cool if let go?" " Yeah, yeah, I'm OK now." "Hit the sack, everyone." "OK Matti?" " Yeah." "Clear as glass." "Kale!" "Open up!" "Kale!" "Open up!" "Why did you say I'm gonna find myself neck-deep in shit?" "He'll wear himself out pretty soon." "He needs a woman to calm him down." "Press the pause button." "Pause it!" "Hello." "Where?" "Wait a moment." "Yeah, so it seems." "Thanks for calling." "OK let it run again." "What was it?" " The neighbor." "The sauna's on fire." "Whose sauna?" " Ours." "Did they call the fire dept?" " How the hell should I know?" "Rewind!" "Take it easy." "Just asking." "We can't let this pass." "What state are you in today?" "Different from yesterday." "Your antics are going to be all over the Finnish papers." "What do you have to say about that?" "I think this about wraps it up for me." "Where are you off to?" " To pack." "Salmela..." "How about postponing the story until our return?" "Matti will report to the Ski Federation." "And fill you in on the details." "OK." "It's a deal." "Anything to support Finnish national prestige abroad." "What do you think, Matti?" " I don't care." "Are you fit to jump?" "Don't care either way." "You can let Kojo jump if you feel like it." "They weren't dumb enough to drop me." "Though Salmela kept his word, the story hit the papers." "I decided to deny it all." "Matti, what happened there?" " No comment." "I wasn't drinking." "Don't know about the others." "But you've been summoned to a hearing?" "No comment." "That's their business." "I just jump." "Write what you like, - as long as I jump good." "And I jump great!" "What really happened?" " Nothing special." "We are so proud of you." "I hate these receptions." "Why can't I just jump?" "Two sides to everything." "You need a ride?" "No, Nevalan Nikke will drive me." "So how's the king?" "What'll they give you this time?" " I don't know." "You've got a goddam palace." "Coffee machines, four microwave ovens." "I bet you've even got a flying carpet." "Why don't they..." "Why don't they just give you cash?" "You'd be rich." "It's the rules." "And I don't want to go down that road." "Property." "That stuff." "You're wound up too tight." "You need a drink." "No time." " There's always time." "They're waiting for me." " That's the fucking point." "What is 15 minutes?" "And they are dancing to your tune!" "You call the shots." "Yeah..." "Maybe a quick one then." " You're getting the idea." "Every time I slide down and jump, " "I get a strange feeling of bon voyage, - as if I have lived it before." "Hell!" "I get that when I wake up in jail with shit in my pants." "I've been looking for you all over town." "They're waiting for you at City Hall." "You have exactly one minute." "And then I'm gone." "Good thing he went." "I'd have flattened the bastard." "Stop!" "Stop!" "Damn it..." "You really are a cunning fox." "Clean yourself up a bit." "The mayor doesn't realize you've been missing." "He thinks this is part of the program." "You arrive there later like dessert." "That's the story and you stick to it." "How about the Ski Federation?" " All taken care of." "Maybe you're not such a cunning fox after all." "At least not all the time." "Sign this for Antti." "Who is Antti?" " He's my nephew." "Soon to be ten years old." "You're his greatest hero." "His continual successes challenge us to show our appreciation." "Along with this 30 000 marks - we wanted to give him something lasting" "But what would that be?" "We looked into the future and knew what Matti was missing." "You didn't get me a woman, did you?" "Joke!" "I have the honour and pleasure as the City Mayor to announce - that from this day on, you are on the City's payroll." "The City has appointed you, Matti, to be assistant caretaker - of the sports arenas!" "Congratulations, Matti!" "Yes, well, well, well..." "Thanks everyone." "The City." "The car company for the new car you sponsor." "Sorry you had to start without me." "I would have come earlier, but Coach forgot to pick me up." "It's understandable." "Uh..." "Thanks." "Matti, you're our champion." "Our Matti." "There's our Matti." "Matti is our champ." "... assistant caretaker of..." "Listen, Matti..." "Matti, Matti, Matti  assistant caretaker of..." "Watch out for his head." "Not a word in the papers." "I'll see to that." "Don't you worry about a thing." "Maybe they should write it up." "Maybe he'd learn something." "What d'you mean?" "He's the City's top hero." "He deserves a celebration." "Matti has jumped this village onto the global map." "That's good PR." "And that means money." "You sound like the Ski Fed big shots." "They don't care about him, either." "It's money they want." "Fat crowds." "He makes so much money for the Fed - that it makes them deaf and blind to the truth." "What truth?" "Who's the best ski-jumper in the world?" " You are." "Yeah." "Not some assistant caretaker." "Matti..." "Matti..." "What are you going to do after this?" "Ski-jump." "That's what you do now." "But how about in ten years time?" "I'll be an ex-ski-jumper." "What are you interested in?" "Ski-jumping." "What else?" " Nothing." "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea." "Being an athlete is a 24/7 job." "I can't afford this, with the Olympics just around the corner." "I'm really sorry about the work injury." "But we have new plans." "What if we make you City's PR man?" "Are you saying - that I have to carry speakers and stuff around?" "That will mess up my jumping." "You got it all wrong." "Matti, you're now the City's PR man." "Can you tell us what it means?" "From now on, I look after its image." "Public reactions, you know." "Advertising, cocktail parties." "That kind of thing." "Why are you the man for the job?" "I have enough charisma for this too." "About ski jumping..." "Everyone knows that you are in the league of your own." " Yes." "So much better than anyone else." " Yes." "Do you ever feel fear up in the tower?" "Cowards can't jump." "You're alone up there, so it's all up yours." "You're on your way to - the national team's training camp, - with your arm in a cast?" "Just let me get my skis on." "It only takes a week to get into top shape." "A feeling of relaxation - is taking over your whole body and your mind." "All your muscles are loose." "You're breathing easy." "You feel nice and warm." "Now I'll count down from 10 to 1." "And on 1, you will all go to sleep." "Ten, nine..." "Six, five." "Once again, Matti ruins the session for all." "This is dumb." "And no good for jumping." "Let me do something that makes sense." "What makes sense, is you making use of that door." "Fine with me." "Hi there, champ." " How come you're here?" "I'm just hanging out." " What are you up to here?" "I missed you." "Haven't seen you for two weeks." "The City misses the royal touch." "The Matti way." "Kiss my ass!" " Good." "Let's go." " What?" "Let's take your car." "Mine's out of gas." "No way." "I can't quit the camp." "I'm taking you to a real camp." "No way I can go." "Well, if you don't have the guts." "Will ya fuckin' hear how quiet it is!" "Wasn't this a good idea?" "This is your Empire." "This is the life." "Great!" "We'll camp here." "Let's spend the night here, like scouts." "Not enough glassware." "You ain't seen nothin' yet." "This isn't the only one." "I'm not sure." "Being sure is my job." "I'm your best mate." "Now and always." "I want to be a forest boy..." "Shut up!" " Can't remember the lyrics." "Fuck the lyrics." "You ain't a singer." "And you never will be." "Just jump!" " Yes." "I feel like shit." "Fuck!" "Stop!" " What, what?" "Stop, stop!" " Don't puke in the car!" "Coupla lookers!" "Dazzling weather." "What's up with the babes?" "Waiting for the bus." " No kidding?" "I'd never have guessed." "Where you going?" " Kuopio" "To Kuopio?" "What do people do there in summer?" "You were lucky." "We're heading that way too." "We need a cake." "Wanna save your pennies and hitch a ride?" "You're going the wrong way." " Kuopio is that way." "No shit!" "Looks like Matti has lost his way then." "Is that really Matti?" "THE Matti?" "Read what is says on the door." "The champ himself." "Wanna show us the way?" "Nikke!" " Wait a sec, babes." "Kuopio is hundreds of kilometers away!" "I gotta head back to camp." "Damn it!" " Damn it, damn it!" "Blah, blah, blah." "Loosen up." "Look at them." "Which you want?" "Mine is the one in funny pants." "Climb on in babes!" "Is that Taina always so quiet?" " Not always." "How about Matti?" "Only when he's sober." "I thought athletes don't drink." "That's a good one." "Really good." "I'm getting tipsy." " That's good." "That's really good." "Hey, that's far enough." "Stop." "You're not tipsy enough." "Yet." "You both live here?" "We're neighbors." "Thanks for the ride." "Should I give you my number?" " Why?" "So you could call me sometime." " Why would I?" "I'm not impressed." " Right." "Ski-jumping's for morons." "Boring." "Kati!" "Come on!" "What does she see in the old fart?" "Can I get your number?" " Why?" "So I can call you sometime." "Way to go." " What was that?" "Kati's phone number." " Why did you chuck it away?" "I've already had all I want." "But you got nothin' out of Taina." "I got her phone number!" " Crap!" "You are so hopeless with women." "Have you ever done it sober?" "I bet you haven't." "Don't sulk!" "Have a swig!" " No." "I'm driving." "We have a long way to go." " It won't even hit you by then." "But you don't have the guts." "You are chickenshit." "Juice is what I like, it's always on my mind" "Taina is different from all the others." " Really?" "You saw it too?" " Sure as hell did." "Sticks out a mile." "Crossed eyes, lousy tits!" "What this?" "A lottery ticket?" " Don't take it." "Don't!" "Dear Taina, I miss you." "Damn, damn!" "Stop it!" "Damn, damn." "I wasn't going to throw it out." "Take little more." "I was just kidding." "Nice parking, eh?" "Even I must be close to the 0.5 limit." "That much you can have." "You're a real mate." "Quit the gay stuff." "I'm starving." "You got any food?" " No." "Can you get any food around here?" " The canteen is closed." "So?" "We open it." "Hell, no, I'd get into trouble." " No, you won't." "I'll take full responsibility." "Will you?" " Sure!" "Any extras on the Breakfast of Champions?" " Give me the lot!" "Coming up." "Way to go." " I have a feeling that I'm gonna hear about this." "You haven't even been here." "They'll think it's just a gang of kids." "Don't drop them." "This is not a good idea." " Sure it is." "The perfect crime." "Time to hit the sack." "We'll figure out your alibi in the morning." "What the hell you been doing, Matti?" " What?" "And a chick as well!" "Overnight guests are not allowed here!" "Help!" "Stupid move." "Hope it doesn't hit the press." " It won't." "Nikke knew better again." "I paid both our fines coz he was broke, as always." "And I took the rap for the driving, too." "He shut up in court." "Scared." "I have never jumped under the influence." "Nor driven a vehicle." "These are facts." "No comment." " Did you learn anything?" "Yeah, if I gotta go to court which I never will again, - and if something is sure, it's really sure, - and I will have a lawyer and I recommend it to everyone." "Hei, Matti..." "How about the DUI charge?" "I have never jumped under the influence." "Nor driven." "When I drink a little, things happen." "When I drink a little, things happen." "I guess it's that famous other man." "Mirva's the first woman who doesn't kick up a stink if I relax." "On the contrary." "She's just the same herself." "Before her, I was too eager to please the babes." "Did everything backwards." "With all of them:" "Jaana, Riitta, Lissu, " "Katariina, Eeva." "And Taina, of course." "I'm on my way to Helsinki." "On business." "So am I." " I've got a job interview." "I mean to Helsinki." "I'll give you a ride." "I'm not sure if I dare." " Why?" "We read the papers also here in Kuopio." "Shame you didn't get the job." " Work in a sausage factory?" "I'd like to be a model." " Yeah." "Uh, I've been thinking of staying on here." "Bit of a holiday." "Y'know?" "Nice." "So I have to take the train back?" "I meant that..." "We could uh start to..." "Damn, damn." " Why not?" "But don't think this is something serious." "Of course not." "I decided to impress Taina by painting the town red." "Bingo!" "I've always been a man of action." "Hi!" "I'm back!" "Taina!" "Are you ill?" " No." "I've been a week in camp." "Didn't you remember I was due back today?" " Yes." "And also that you're off again in the morning." "What is this?" "You done my laundry?" "You listening?" "The coach is picking me up at six." "You-you-you-you!" "And your fucking ski-jumping!" "And your sweaty ski-pants!" "Cook!" "Shop!" "Clean up round here!" "You need a servant, not me!" "Where did this house come from?" "Have you thought about it?" "From my jumping!" "It's not too much to ask you to take care of it." "It's Olympic year!" "Fuck you and your Olympics!" "You only care about yourself." "You have never asked what I'm interested in!" "I spend every free second with you!" "I don't even see my mates any more!" "I spend all my spare time with you." "Always you." "You should hear yourself!" " People expect a lot from me!" ""People expect a lot from me!"" "You think the world revolves around your jumps!" "I hope you don't win!" "Ever again!" "You're supposed to leave in two hours!" "Did you hear me?" "You have to leave!" "If you don't quit nagging, it ain't me who's leaving!" "Let's see who is leaving!" "You don't nag anymore!" "Who bought the house?" "Shut your goddam mouth!" "Good morning." "Help!" "Coach?" "Let's go." "They insist that you go." "I'm coming with you." "They pay everything." "We're leaving in two hours." "I can't go." "I'm so tired of this." "You have to go, Matti." "What in hell happened here?" "Don't you remember?" "I didn't do anything to you, did I?" "You don't remember that either?" "Could you hit a woman?" "You're paranoid!" "You're paranoid!" "You're ready for the funny farm!" "Old people's home!" "I saw you giving that bitch the eye!" "Quit the goddamn nagging!" "I don't listen to that nonsense anymore!" "You don't tell me what I do!" "This is my house!" "We'll see about that." "Crazy woman!" "Matti." "Did you hear me?" "Could you hit a woman?" "I don't..." "Someone will pick you up." "You are there tonight." "Who's the little guy?" " Antti, my kid." "He had to come when he heard who the passenger was." "So you are Antti." "Do you want to jump too?" " I dunno." "Do you have the guts if I get you a pair of skis?" "Never thought about it." "Come and try it sometimes." "Antti plays ice hockey." " That makes more sense than jumping." "I need a beer." "I'm scared of flying." "I've never been on a plane." "Maybe we can have one." "The Four Hills Tournament 1987-88" "Goddammit." "I don't believe this." "Goddammit!" "This is the limit." "The honchos at the Ski Fed should try this just once." "Where's your sense of humor?" "Skis up and let's go." "You do have your skis, don't you?" "Take them away." "They are from Yugoslavia." "No way I'll jump with that Eastern bloc trash." "I want Kneissl." " They don't even make them any more." "The only place to get them at night is a museum." "Me and Taina decided that we want a better hotel." "This has been OK before." "That was then." "These days, I have bad memories about this place." "Besides, they don't even have a pinball machine." "They see us..." "Pervert!" "If he doesn't leave, we will." "This is a majority decision." "I agree with them." "Matti's not a team player." "He doesn't give a shit." "I don't have the authority to do that." "I can call Finland." "Let them decide." "Their show." "You wanted to talk." "So do I." "First: where are my Kneissl skis?" "Second: we don't travel in the bus anymore." "Third: we need a taxi." "We'll follow the bus." "Send the taxi bills straight to the Fed." "Those guys are over her like rats over cheese." "She's my wife not the team's." " Listen up!" "You and Taina are flying back to Helsinki." "Tonight." "It's decided." "This is the biggest mistake of your life!" "Was this the Coach's decision?" " We've broken contact." "Draw your own conclusions." "Does this interfere with the Olympics?" "We'll see after our honeymoon." "Where are you going for it?" "Taina?" "We'll hold a separate press conference." "Thank you, Matti." "I never thought that the comment about Coach - could get so distorted." "I wasn't man enough to stop the avalanche." "I was afraid that people would start hating me." "And I was out of the Olympics." "I am worried about his post-career life." "You think his career is over?" "He's not in the team now." "But it doesn't mean he won't be in the future." "You have received death threats?" "Yes." "And not only I, and that's the worst thing, - my family has also received them." " Just take care of yourself!" "My family has nothing to do with the choices " "I make in my profession." "I hope the message gets through now." "Should you come clean about what happened and apologize?" "He's got what he deserves." "Guess what?" " What?" "Guess!" " What?" "There'll be three of us next summer." " Who?" "Us." " Who us?" "Well, us-us." "Are you pregnant?" " Second month." "You sure it's mine?" "Are you?" " Yes." "Mineral water, please." " This is purely our time out." "No alcohol." " Not a drop." "If something's certain, this is it." "Have a wonderful honeymoon." "This bastard was drunk all week." "What?" "What?" "Get the fuck up!" "During our honeymoon, everyone was shouting:" ""Matti for the games!" "The Coach for the sack!"" "I had nothing against it so I just fuelled the fire!" "Was this beach holiday well timed, considering the Olympics?" "We didn't hang out in pool bars." "I was working out all the time." "Ask Taina." "But you are out of the games." "I don't care what colours I wear." "It can be orange or yellow." "If Finland doesn't want me, " "I'll move to Copenhagen and represent Sweden." "Next day I got a public apology - and a nomination to the Olympic team." "I only had one answer to that." "Everyone knew it was a good move to send me." "Those medals I dedicated to the people of Finland." "Not the Ski Federation." "Good thing the games were then, not a year later." "Matti!" "Matti!" "Matti!" "The circus started at the airport." "No one could deal with it sober." "You have three PR sessions today." "First, City Hall in an hour." "I'm tired." "I need to rest." "Tell them I'll be there tomorrow." "The meetings are today!" "You can't back out!" "You have to do your PR!" "You have to think about the future of this family." "That's what I said." "Tomorrow is future." " Yeah, right." "You smell of booze again!" "I don't go to church after a gig!" "Grow up!" "I'll have 2 kids to look after!" "Have you taken care of the fan mail?" "I was getting fed up with everything." "Even her." "She'd sat down to a full table and was eating all the food." "I had lost the most important thing in life." "Freedom." "Long time, no see." "Just a few postcards to show where you've been." "So many damn cat christenings - and dog funerals there's been no time to stop." "Rosberg has lined up so much PR work, - it's lucky I have time to brush my teeth." "I only jump in my dreams, damn it all!" "Calm down." "You're tight as a wire." "Keke takes every time 40%, - so does the taxman." "Taina takes the rest." "Work out for yourself what's left for me." "How much?" " No more than seven to six hundred." "This is your once-in-a-lifetime chance - to get off the tread mill." "Quit the PR bullshit now." "And get a new manager who listens to you." "You're no, uh, machine." "You got the feelings of an artist." "Am I right?" "And I got just the guy:" "Nick Nevada!" "No foreigners." "I don't speak English." "No, no!" "It's me!" "Same guy but with the hair." "Nick" " Niilo, Nevada" " Nevala." "Different name but the hair is the same." "But first things first!" "Yeah?" "And what's first?" " Rest and recreation!" "First the manager calls a taxi." "First you empty your bank account and from then on, - the manager takes care of everything for you." "Then a taxi to Helsinki." "I know exactly what you need." " What's that?" "Pussy, food and a bed." "Drop out of sight for two weeks, isn't that right?" "Yes, that is the meaning." "Champ here needs a real vacation." "And money we have as much as King Kong has hair." "We can stash this in your safe." "How does the young wife feel about this?" "It is so that in our marriage we lift potatoes in spring - when others do it in autumn." "I'll be damned..." "There's a studio upstairs you can use." "Pussy is up to you, I'm no pimp." "I just run a girlie bar." " Got it." "Understood." "Thanks." "What did I say." "What did I say." "Nice looking cat!" "You wanna stroke her?" " She wouldn't let me." "Leave it to Manager." "Girls out!" "Boys into the office!" "Ah, shit!" " No." "Girls, hold on..." "It's better that Matti isn't here." "So it doesn't leak out." "How did you know about the raid?" "Aren't they supposed to come as a surprise?" "This line of work, I can't afford surprises." "You gotta be awake 24/7." "Or you're out of business." " Same in ski-jumping." "It's been a pleasure." "Welcome back, any time." "We'll take the money bag now." "Right." "Bags are the real measure of a man." "What's this?" "Here's your invoice, in detail." "Full board, times two." "You've billed for the company." "First time I've paid for getting laid." "There's always a first time." "Good looks don't mean freebies!" "This means trouble!" " Yeah!" "And here you get trouble for free!" "This is what I thought." "Fuck, I've sprained something!" "Just like that!" " You said he's your mate." "Business is business." "And anyway, he did give us a discount." "You're a hell of a manager." " Hey, come on..." "But it was a nice holiday, wasn't it?" "Masa, Masa, don't!" "I worried about how Taina would take my two-week bender." "I had missed her, after all." "A bit." "Taina?" "Haven't you checked the fan mail?" "Congratulations, asshole!" "While you were God-knows- where, you became a father." "Now you got a son named Mika, but no more wife." "Is that the best name she could come up with?" "Mika?" "That's Kojo's first name!" "Taina!" "Taina!" "Taina!" "Taina!" "Get the hell out or I'll call the police." "The door's locked!" "Come home." " This is mine and Mika's home now." "I want to see the baby!" "Throw down the key!" "Here you are, shithead." " Thanks, honey!" "Taina!" "It's the wrong key!" " I never said it fits this door." "What the hell is this?" " And there's your fan mail!" ""Hey, Matti." "Do you remember me?"" ""We had such a lovely time together in Vaasa. "" ""That pub restroom was really hot. "" ""It was so beautiful when I sat on your lap. "" ""I've missed you ever since. "" ""That was true love with no regrets. "" ""Here's my key. "" ""You're welcome here anytime, darling. "" ""Yours, Melinda. "" "Of course, we didn't have a pre-nup agreement." "The house went with the wife." "I was left with the medals." "It makes you wonder." "I thought about being a marriage counselor." "Get Matti round to mess up your marriage in just 7 seconds." "Satisfaction guaranteed." "What are you going to do now?" " Nothing." "Material things are just stuff, as far as I'm concerned." "I just need a new place to keep my Olympic dingle-dangle." "We've kept it exactly as it was." "Maybe I swap the curtains for something more porno." "I'm a man now and not Mickey Mouse." "Is it true what Taina has told the papers?" "Depends on what she has said." " That you hit her." "Often." "I've never laid a finger on a woman." "Girls can fight with themselves if they want." "Matti!" "Don't." "I spent that summer in front of the TV." "Immovable." "Hello?" "Oh my God!" "Matti!" "Phone!" "Hi." " Looks like I didn't get to try ski-jumping." "You mean never again?" "Both legs are paralyzed." "It's a miracle Antti is alive." "He dived head first onto a rock." "But surely doctors these days can fix all sorts of things?" "Operate or uh..." " No." "Any plans for jumping?" " My motivation's sort of gone." "Make a come-back!" "Home games this winter." " I don't know." "Antti would like it even he hasn't said it to us." "He told Mauri that his dream is to see - you take the gold at Lahti!" "So we were a team again, Coach and me." "Just like old times." "Almost." "You need these more than I." "I had minor back problems." "But I didn't want to complain." "It was nothing compared to what Antti was facing." "And then my back went." "Completely." "So you've had this multi- dose medication since 82." "Any operations?" " Right leg three times, left once." "Regular knee injections for five years." "My jumping technique is hard on the knees." "And if I ease up on them, my back suffers." "In a nutshell: you've jumped too far, too long, too often." "Your back has been under a severe strain for years." "Your back has been like a car on a rough road - without springs." "What should I do?" "Jump a little shorter?" "Medically, you should come down from the tower in a lift." "What?" "You need surgery." "It would be criminal to let you jump." "He must jump." "Or the budget goes down the drain." "Everyone wants to see Matti." "I'll drag him up and tie the skis to his feet if I have to." "He owes us after all his fuck-ups." "And this so called back problem stays under cover." "I think it's just alcoholic fantasy." "Any questions?" "We'll have our own doctor check out his medication." "It doesn't look too serious to me." " They talked about surgery." "We don't operate on healthy men here." "Simple daily procedure - from now till the end of the season." "Both knees." "That's a lot of pills for a healthy man." "This stuff keeps you that way." "Keeps you loose, removes the tension." "Your problem is mainly psychosomatic." "Right?" " Yeah." "Help!" "Help!" "Help me!" "Matti." "Calm down." "Was it the same dream again?" "Yeah." "Always the same." " Take it easy." "It's just a dream." "I just fly and fly." "Never come down." "No jump goes on forever." "You always come down." "Dad never understood that that was what I scared the most." "Dad never understood that that was what I scared the most." "Then came the 1989 World Championships in Lahti." "Weissflog is leading but now it's number 43 Matti Nykänen." "He is a three time Olympic champion - but here, old merits don't count." "Matti is waiting for the signal." "He is looking at the hill - where he has made so many winning landings." "First time I was afraid." "It was not the jumping, - although it hurt like hell." "But the landing was scary." "Not because of the pain but because of the audience." "That was not enough to take Matti into the lead." "Matti goes to 4th place, with Weissflog leading." "When I saw the scoreboard, " "I knew that it was the end of my career." "That was it." "My 19 medals were history." "The bronze and team gold changed nothing." "Everything was meaningless." "Matti, don't!" "Matti!" " Let me go!" "Let me go..." " Matti!" "Coach, coach..." "Everything is okay." "There I was." "But I felt I wasn't there." "That I didn't even exist." "Not yet 30 and it was over." "During surgery, they dropped me from the team, - the sponsor's Mercedes was repossessed, - and the press called me a drug addict." "But not even alcohol was really ever a problem for me." "I've never had an Antabuse capsule." "Never will." "I would never even recommend that to anybody." "Why's that?" "Are you taking a bus somewhere?" "If you drink with that bus-crap, you get so sick." "At least I do." "Matti!" "Did you hear me?" "Come inside." "Visitors to see you." "You can't bury yourself here forever." "It's been 18 months." "I have to look after my back." "It still hurts like hell!" "I should've dealt with your problems sooner." "But the Fed was pressing me." " I don't blame anyone." "You don't need the crutches." "Not any more." "I need them to stand up." "No, you don't." "Have you even tried?" "Have you tried?" " It's a bit different for me." "Antti's right." "Pull yourself together." "The doctors say..." "What do they know about my pain?" "Maybe you don't have the guts." "What do you think about this?" "This is the new V-style by Jan Boklöv." "They say this is the style in the future." "No offence, but I'm a mountain eagle not a house sparrow." "Eddie Edwards made a record." "He was a clown, even as a jumper." "The clown made a lot of money." "You know I can't sing." "With the new studio technology, - you'll sound like Sinatra." "It'll be something!" "I don't know." "I made the deal already." "So you have to." "I don't have to do anything." " Actually, you do!" "Hammer is on his way - with a contract that you signed when we were in Helsinki." "I've signed nothing." "And who the hell is this Hammer?" "You'll see." " Why don't you come?" "I've got other stuff to look after." "But I'll join the band as soon as I can." "Matti!" "You know you can trust me." "Who's your best friend?" "Who can you always trust?" "Nikke is your best friend and that's me." "I'm serious!" "And I'm leveling with you." "You'll make so much outta this, it'll bust your wallet." "I'm still not sure." "Well, if you don't have the guts, there's nothing we can do." "Howdy." "Matti ready?" "We gotta move it." " Ready for what?" "OK." "Let's go." " See you in two weeks." "It's showtime!" " What?" "There I was on the road again." "What did I have to lose?" "Nothing at all." "You can call me Hammer." "We've gotta move on." "Where exactly is your studio?" " We drive there all night long." "But first we do a show." "You get to see a real rock 'n' roll show." "And there I was in show business." "Welcome to the Aaron Sledge Hammer Karaoke Evening." "I'll warm things up and then the stage is yours." "There is Rauno Lehtinen's..." "When I saw Hammer on stage, I knew I had a lot to learn." "It was quite a show." "I have to admit, Hammer impressed me." "Welcome to Levi's Vegas." " Where the heck are we?" "It ain't exactly Abbey Road but you're not The Beatles either." "Where's the studio?" " There." "But that's a barn." " Exactly." "The Rhythm Barn!" "All equipment is state-of-the-art." "You're in good hands." "We've made karaoke cassettes here you won't believe." "Is there money in it?" " You mean in Karaoke?" "More than in cell phones." "Karaoke and laser discs are the future." "And we can't wait for it." "There's the whole band!" "What's up?" "What's up?" "Welcome to Levi's Vegas." " I said that already." "OK." "All the songs are ready to roll." "We just need the maestro to sing a bit." "And then we get the vinyl to the fans." " Who is this guy?" "He's Nipa." "He's my partner in Ivel Records." " What's that?" "Ivel is almost English." "Like "evil"." "But it's also "Levi" backwards." "Pretty cool?" "Best to give them something to talk about..." "Right." "Rock 'n' roll." "It is starting to sound good." "Let's take a break." "Fuck." "There's no way we can make this work." " Turn it off!" "Five days and it still sounds like we're butchering sheep." "How many of the 12 songs do we have even half-way ready?" "That's your department." " I'll tell you." "One." "Nipa, Nipa..." "We have too many songs." "No one wants to listen to him singing 12." "Drop three of them." "Re-arrange the rest." "Make it rap." "Anything." "Nine songs is enough." " But we only have one!" "He needs a crash course to stardom." "Antti, please..." "We can't even afford a dartboard!" "You can't." "But I can." "I have a friend in town." "I'll get him here to coach Matti for a night." "What friend?" " You'll see." "Trust me, I know what I'm doing." "Last time you said that, I got beaten up." "Papas got a brand new bag - and a moment of love- making with the old bag..." "Hell!" "Too many words." "No way anyone can learn this." "The man's here!" "The dream fantasy of Finnish babes, every eunuch's horror!" "Lesson numero uno:" "mikes shut, bottles open!" "How long do I have to make him a man?" " One night?" "If there's enough booze." "And only the two of us." "No one else!" "At a regular pub gig, you see the girls in the front." "Where are their eyes?" "This must be a trick question." " Below the waist!" "Your dick is the only thing they see!" "Your street credibility is in your balls." "You lose it if even one of them doubts your mojo." "Don't worry about that." "I've had at least 300 women this year." "But it's only July." " Right." "Don't put all your eggs in one basket." "Lay her and then tell her it's over." "She knows she can't own a player." "Women know that a player is like a black panther." "A panther hot on the trail." "And before she realizes the black panther is all over her." "Do you understand?" "Do you understand?" " What?" "Do you understand?" " I'm beginning to." "I'm going to bed." "Now I'll punch you on the nose." "They're fighting." " Boxing or wrestling?" "Wrestling, I guess." "Silicon tits on an ugly woman - is like putting a mahogany steering wheel on a Lada." "Nice to touch, but the ride doesn't get any better." "What about a rally wheel?" "The ride is just as bumpy but it's easier to hang on." "Matti, hey..." " What?" "You just graduated to the club of players." "Others seem to know what you do" "Where you come from and where you go" "Wherever you are" "They seem to know whatever you do, that's the way to go" "It's best to give them something to talk about..." "If I do something, I give it 100%." "I was back on top again." "We broke house records everywhere." "Matti Nykänen gets a gold record." "Whatever I touched turned to gold." "I became a real performer, learnt how to talk the talk." "Get your lighters out for the next song." "Grab your girls by the hand, - or even below the waistline, it's all the same with me." "Let's live this great moment together!" "We have today, who knows what will happen tomorrow!" "And I know what I'm talking about." "So look out!" "When he arrives everyone knows" "That things will happen soon" "He comes slowly, behind the clouds like moon" "When he moves you feel like you want to move too" "I was the King of gigs." "Over 300 a year." "At some point I thought I started to slip - although I said I could do anything." "I was drinking heavier." "I was in this same place a year ago..." "Soon it began to show at gigs and became a habit." "I don't know what happened to me." "I guess I knew deep down they didn't come for my singing, - but out of curiosity." "I was an act you only wanted to see once." "Few times we had to refund the ticket money - because I couldn't get myself on stage." "A singing catastrophe, they wrote." "Once again, I was down and out." "Guys!" "Guys!" "I can't take it anymore." "This is the end!" "Say bye to my loved ones." "I'm going down..." "My popularity took a nose-dive." "No more gigs." "We did a new record, Samurai." "But no one wanted to buy it." "It's been clear from day one - that no one can tour these places forever." "Except Karjalainen and Popeda of course." "Yö." " And Yö." "But they'll crash, too." "Same thing here." "It's better to quit while you're ahead." "It's a wonder it took this long." " Yeah, but... but..." "Be strong." "It was fun." "Keep up the spirit." "Eat something." "Nikke, I'll call you." "Matti, take my beer too." "That was that." "Band over." " No problems." "We landed in one piece." "Not quite." "We owe money on the BMW." "And the bus." "Which we don't need." "The bank account is empty." "Are you saying you have nothing left?" "I paid the bills." "As always." "Studio." "Staff." "Advertising." "Dance girls." "Your 25%." "The rent from sleeping at your place." "Hello." "Same guy." "Right." "Same address." "Just pick it up from there." "Bye." "There went the BMW." "Way to go." "Listen." "I have a brilliant idea." "We could make a lot of money with it." "We need some starting capital." "For one full-page ad in the newspaper." "Or a half-page." " What kind of ad?" "Don't worry." "Leave it to Manager." "After all that time, I should've known better than to tag along." "But I did in the end." "We've decided to capitalize on my success by turning it - into hard cash which I had never done before." "I hear you've had big offers - for your medals from foreign traders." "My manager handles all my finances." "Don't you think it's wrong if they go abroad?" "Most of them came from there, so, no." "But at one point - you dedicated them to the people Finland." "I was the one who jumped, not the people Finland." "Besides, I never said that." "And If I did the press twisted my words." "They know how to do that." " That's true." "You're offering Finland an alternative?" "That's why I'm here on TV." " Go ahead." "If the Finnish people and Olympic Committee - really appreciate my achievements, - they should start a collection." "I've had strong offers." "But 100 000 marks in cash and the medals go - to the Sports Museum." "It's a fair price, I would say." "And then we waited." "Pretty quiet." "It takes time." "Business is a tough game." "We dropped the price to half." "Then to 25." "And finally, to 10 000 marks." "Pretty quiet." "Yeah, it's taken longer than I thought." "We've waited six months." "Should we drop the price to 5 000?" "No!" "What's six months?" "On the grand scale?" "Western life expectancy?" "I'm getting pretty fed up." "What was the foreign offer anyway?" "What?" " Those traders." "Yes, that offer..." "Well." "It's like this." "To tell you the truth, - we gave them the stories about foreign interest - to put the price up." "Hell!" "Bloody hell!" " My plan backfired!" "Easy to be wise now!" "Who had a better plan?" "That was it for me." "I donated the lot to the Sports Museum for free." "As Matti's manager, I've always thought - that these medals are a national treasure - and that they belong here in this very museum." "Matti!" "Wait up." "Listen." "Me and the boys passed the hat." "We really appreciate this, Matti." "There it was, in my hand." "The price on my whole career." "A hundred marks." "We've fallen on our asses too many times." "We're doing everything all wrong." "It's a fifty-sixty chance I'll blow the whistle and call it quits." "This from an old player." "Suicide is not the answer." "It did not work for me." " I wasn't talking about suicide, " "I'm just sick of getting nothing done right." "There's nothing left." "Might as well become an alcoholic." "If they're after the medals, it's too late now!" "Nevada, Nick." "Hi." "Yes..." "Yeah, we're paying vig all the time." "You saw for yourself." "It didn't work." "How much?" "That much?" "No." "That was a joke." "He'll never do that." "Right now?" "How d'you feel about relocating?" "How come we owe money?" "Last summer, when we needed capital, " "I had to make calls." "Not to a bank." "What could I do in a casino?" "Long time no see!" "Have you briefed Matti yet?" " Kind of, yes." "Good." "I don't need to explain." "Let's check out the premises." "This is Nikke's office." "What's going on?" "This is where the girls work." "And this is Matti's place." "Come on!" "We sell private tickets in here." "Come in, come in." "We cannot let people see Matti with a regular price." "When you're not busy in here, you serve tables, - coming on hot and strong." "A few songs with the girls." "Take your time, check the place out." "Hell!" "I don't have to do this." "Please tell me I don't." "As a matter of fact, you do." "We're in debt, up to here." "It's only a temporary solution." "I need to know you, whatever the price" "This is the night, the night of surprise..." "Thank you." "A big hand for Matti and Natalia." "Good, good." "If any of you ladies or gentlemen - would like to get to know our singing legend privately, - buy your tickets at the door." "Here they are." "In you go, they won't bite." "Not hard." "You've been here over a month." " How time flies." "Are we even yet?" " You're not pulling in the customers!" "I've tried to look as sexy as I can." "At this rate, - we'll be square..." "in February 2006." "That's a long time." "I'll be well over forty then." " Too long!" "Here's the deal." "We'll raise ticket prices and you'll strip on the public side." "Hell, no!" "That's not the deal." " As a matter of fact, it is." "Matti shows The Full Monty!" "Don't drink too much." "A beer belly ain't sexy!" " I can't do this!" "Sure you can." "Both our asses are on the line." "Pretend you're in a sauna." " Why don't you go out there?" "It's you who got us here to start with." "Goddammit." "Come and check out who's here." "Hammer!" "I'm not going on!" " He's seen your balls before." "Yeah, but he's with his mother." "Take two of these and you'll dance like Travolta." "Always works for me." " What is it?" "Vitamin stuff." "You'll be a new man." "And that man has ball-bearings in the pelvis." "I don't think so." " Well, if you don't have the guts..." "I don't know what he gave me, but, on stage, I was flying." "Just like in my ski-jumping days." "And I met Mirva for the first time." "She went straight to where it's at." "Pants off!" "Pants off!" "Pants off!" "I did that with style as well." "Once number one, always number one." "You're the King!" "Did you hear it?" "The windows steamed up." "Hammer invited you to their table." "Nikke, back to work." "No time for chat." "A great show." "When people hear about this, it'll be full house." "From tomorrow onwards it's pants off, twice a night." "Yeah!" "This is Mirva and Jarmo." "So she's your mother, not Hammer's?" "What's she doing in a place like this?" "She's not my mother." "She's my sister." "I must have dozed off." " Rest keeps a woman beautiful." "A pretty woman can't sleep too much." "At least that's what I reckon." "That's just so sweet." "These are very important sausage-makers." "You've tasted some black sausage, haven't you?" "That's what you get for homo jokes - when there's an older lady at the table!" "I bet you make all the girls so hot they can't leave you alone." "Mirva pumped me up till I couldn't back down." "Sorry, Masa." "It was a joke." "I've had it with you, and Nick, - and everyone else too!" "Oh fuck!" "I told Mirva and Jarppa the long sad story of debts." "And Nick's role in it." "Terrible!" "Why don't you just escape?" "I've tried." "But they watch me." "It's a bit like being in prison." " Guess what we'll do, Jarppa?" "Have another drink?" " That too." "But what else?" " I don't know." "Get something to eat?" " No, no." "Go buy Matti's freedom." "That took me by surprise." "She paid my debts like she was buying a lollipop." "Do we buy Nick out as well?" " What do you think, Matti?" "As I looked at that clown, " "I realized he'd been bad news for 15 years." "Well, put it this way:" "I won't sue him but..." " OK." "You're going to Tampere with me." " What's for me in Tampere?" "Let's go sing in a karaoke bar." "I don't feel like singing right now." "Listen." "I'm a sports fan." "I've watched your career." "I'm your biggest fan." "I just adore ski-jumping." "Do you know why?" " Not a clue." "Only real men can do it." "Not immature jerks like that lot." "At least, that's what I think." "I've never done anything that needed guts." "I've never had to." "You know why?" "Because I'm a millionaire." "What do you say to that?" "Well, put it this way:" "I could reconsider that Tampere trip." "There I went again." "I let her do the talking." "I went quiet." "It's not hard to listen to praise." "Where's the karaoke joint?" " What?" "Karaoke." " Karaoke is cancelled for tonight." "This way, this way." "You must have a big family to fill this!" "Don't worry." "I live here all alone." "We can get to know each other - and make as much noise as we want." "Sit down and get comfortable." "I'll go powder my nose." "It felt like things were moving along a bit too fast." "Pants off!" "Pants off!" "In no time, we were engaged." "And soon after that I was a husband." "Again." "Usually I need a drink before making my move." "That time, I needed one afterwards as well." "So here I sit, a married man." "Though I'd only planned on having a few ciders in Tampere." "Do you ever argue?" " Never." "He's a wonderful human being." "Life's great." "With her, I feel really secure." "First time ever." "Life's just love and cuddles." "We look after each other." "There's no room for squabbles." "I do admit, we talk louder than normally." "I'd tell you the reason if I could remember." "We would never hurt each other." "Love means accepting the down- sides along with the good stuff." "I'm dropping all claims." "The scratches are from falling into a rose bush, drunk." "I don't want him to go down." "We were both drunk." "This whole court case is a mistake and I regret it." "I love Matti and he loves me." "I'm dropping all charges." "Many things in my life could've remained undone." "It would've been easier for me." "And others." "I've never planned my life." "Just followed where it led." "Or done what someone else wanted." "I've been lucky, too." "No one has died." "Though there's been a few close calls." "I've said love is like a reel of thread with a start and a finish." "With Mirva I've learned that you can roll it back." "What sort of man am I?" "I don't know." "There are always two versions." "The first is the one that you have of yourself." "The second is how everyone else sees you." "They're pretty different." "Both might be clear but neither of them is true." "Then there's a third one that lies somewhere between." "Happy midsummer!" "Before we rock and roll, I'd like to say one thing." "Sometimes life seems pretty dark and grim - but I still think that life is the best time of your life." "Life is what else?" " Life!" "What else is life?" " Life!" "Life is..." " Life." "One, two, three, four..." "One, two, three, four..." "In his career 1981-1992 " "Matti Nykänen won 4 Olympic gold medals and 1 silver - 7 World Championship golds, 2 silver and 6 bronze medals " "4 world cup titles, 13 Finnish championships and much more." ""Life is the best time of your life. "" " Matti Nykänen"