"Slow slow, it's on the right..." "the blue house... stop here" "He}!" "Bilqees!" "Yes Rukmani?" "ls this a car or ajar?" "They've come stuffed like pickles, to arrange the marriage." "Slalekum!" "Slalekum!" "Hope you didn't lose your way Sir." "Lanes in our neighbourhood, very naughty send you spinning like atop." "Slalekum!" "Slalekum!" " Walekum" " Please come..." "Walekum" "Please come..." "Don't you have a lift?" "It's just a few steps..." "we'll reach the top in seconds..." "Pooja..." "Gullu's best friend..." "How are you?" "Please come..." "We can get a lift put in two days but climbing stairs pervents a heart attack" " Yes, but you lose your breath..." " Please come..." "Gullu!" " Aadaab!" " Please come!" " Aadaab" " Aadaab" "Please..." "Please help yourself." "Please take a seat." "Thank you." "Gullu, show Mr. Montu your books." "Get to know each other." "Yes, yes... go son" "Come" "Mummy cold drink" "Don't be greedy..." "you'll get a bad throat" "So, how much have you saved?" "Jewellery worth three lakhs, three lakhs for an AC Car and nine lakhs in a fixed deposit..." "I will break it as soon as the wedding is fixed." "Total fifteen lakhs." "My Gullu topped the whole Andhra state in the 12th grade." "She is a Gold medallist, look at her certificates." "She even got admission in an American college." "Poor girl didn't get a scholarship or she would be studying there right now." "Along with the job, she's doing her B. Com as well." "As soon as she finishes her third year she will become Assistant Manager." "Fifteen is bit on the lower side." "I can arrange for a couple more..." "up to seventeen." "She's pretty, she's earning as well..." "it's 0k, let's say yes" "Player of the year in basketball and badminton." "Basketball 0k... after all, she's a motherless child." "You can start shooting." "Congratulations Mr. Abdul..." "Congratulations Mr. Abdul." " Congratulations uncle." " Congratulations big sister congratulations brother." "Let's go Mummy." "What happened Montu?" "I said let's go, these people are wasting our time." "I don't want them, I don't want this match." "But what happened my son?" "What happened is that your Mr. Montu is a fraud..." "His bio data said, fluent in English but he says 'bilu' for blue and 'flim' for film..." "He asked me if I watch bilu flim..." "Tell me Booji how do I answer to that if his pronunciation of blue film is so wrong!" "And for Education qualification, he wrote degree from llM." "lim means?" "Indian Institute of Management..." "International Institute of Mahbubnagar." "Mr. Bad-english-bilu-flim- fake-diploma-holder" " Montu..." "You have wasted our time!" "Wasted out time, tang, samosa, chips, biscuitmeverything!" "And your mummy she's been making faces over everything since she's come..." "Gullu!" "Take her away quickly before her face permanently becomes like this..." "Gulrez, Pooja... don't misbehave." "Come on, let's go!" "Come on Montu!" "Who will wed such a bratty, dark-skinned uncouth, ugly-looking girl?" "Bye Montu..." "Bye" "Sister, our Gullu is just joking..." "She's just a kid..." "Please don't leave, she will say sorry..." "Please hear me out..." "Ismail bhai..." "Bhabhi..." " Montu..." " I came here because of you" "What did I know they are beggars everyone said they are very well known..." "Such a long resume he had sent and not one thing was true" "Booji, snacks?" "Today if your mother was alive..." "She would say, Mr. Qadir...have a samosa." "You just keep eating samosas" "What is the samosa's fault?" "Booji has gone sad and the samosas have gone cold!" "Gullu!" "Gullu!" "It's quarter past seven" "Slalekum slalekum..." "Oh, still in bad mood..." "Tea not sweet?" "Gullu, it's quarter past eight, come for breakfast." "Booji... come on, we're getting late..." "I've been waiting so long..." "You always delay us..." "Bhai Miyan Slalekum!" "Slalekum" "Stand straight, you'll be late for school." "Gullu, you dismissed another case last night?" "Yes Aunty...and in record time!" " Namaste brother" " Namaste" "Ready Booji?" "Let's go." "Booji, soon as we have loads of money we will buy a big bungalow and settle down in Jubilee Hills." "There will be no Rukmani aunty or Bilqees aunty to trouble us there." "Are you listening?" "Booji?" "Radha-Raja Reddy case result will be declared today, right?" "What do you think?" "Who will win?" "Radha or Raja?" "Say something." "I don't know." "Drive quietly." "Booj!" "How can I marry some 'bilu film' watching fraud?" "All I'm asking for is an intelligent husband, is that too much?" "If one has just enough money for a handful of oilyjalebis one can't buy a kilo of Pula Reddy's... mexpensive pure-ghee gulab jamuns." "With the dowry that I can give we will only find these bad-English types." "How do I get an Oxford dictionary product for fifteen lakhs?" "Then why did you send me to a private English medium you should have sent me to a Government school." "I wouldn't have gotten addicted to English." "Or you should have married me off right after school." "You know lesser the age, lesser the dowry!" "If I had married you off at sixteen wouldn't I have been jailed?" "Won't you be jailed for giving dowry?" "What can one do about that..." "In our country you can't buy a house without paying black money and you can't get married without dowry." "God knows how many baby girls are killed everyday by their own parents." "You too should have given me rat poison, with gulabjamun." "The whole dowry head-ache would be over." "Don't talk nonsense." "Only two years left for my retirement." "Soon as you get hitched, I can rest easy." "Hitched?" "I don't want to get sorted Booji" "Yes, you just want to unsettle me!" "Every1hing will be fine, just stop bringing jerks to marry me off." "Of course Gulluji, the boys I call are all jerks." "You only want Mr. World no Miss World?" "Why Mr. World, I'll get Mr. Universe." "Sure you will!" " Khuda Hafiz." " Khuda Hafiz." "Mr. Qadir..." "Sir, please hear me out..." "Sir, you are the senior-most clerk in the registrar's office you can postpone my boss's court date if you want." "You will profit in exchange." "I don't want your profit." "Sir, cash or kind, your choice." "You can take the whole family on a vacation to America." "Recently Mr. Mudgil took his family there..." "I said no!" "Now get out of here!" "You moron!" "The date will get changed anyhow." "Mr. Qadir... why so stressed?" "They are openly spreading corruption!" "Forget about him." "Want to bet on the Raja Radha Reddy case?" "It's a bet!" "Raja Reddy will get six years in jail." "What are you saying Mr. Qadir?" "Raja Reddy supplies milk to the whole state he's the 'Milk King'..." "Nobody is king when it comes to 498a." "Radha Reddy has filed a case of dowry harassment under section 498a." "There is no bail in 498a, and if the husband is found guilty he goes straight to jail." "Mr. Supreme Court, you will lose." "We'll see who wins!" "Radha Reddy, victorious in the dowry harassment case, thanks to 498a." "The power of 498a has delivered justice to Radha Reddy who has been harassed in a dowry case." "Her husband Raja Reddy has been convicted for 6 years in prison." "Radha Reddy Ma'am, your husband has got a 6 year jail term how does it feel?" "I am very happy, thanks to 498a." "The honourable judge has sent my husband to jail ordered him to give me ten crores cash a flat to live in and four lakhs monthly alimony." "Long live 498a." "Like you just saw..." "You are wasting your time as a clerk Abdul Qadir you should become an advocate." "You know the law better than these LLB lawyers..." "Once again I will have to treat you to biryani." "Once again a winner!" "Qadir bhai...yourjudge has arrived." "oh my God!" "Good morning sir..." " Good morning..." " Sorry Sir" "My foot is sprained, be careful..." "Heel is too small..." "show me something else..." "Ma'am, I've shown you all the ladies styles in the shop now I can only show you the gent's shoes, if you like?" "Why should I wear gent's shoes?" "I don't like anything." "I'm leaving." "Ok no problem Ma'am." "You're welcome." "Do come again." "I'm leaving this damn job now!" "But you love shoes..." "I love shoes, but not stupid customers like that lady." "Relax!" "Look, your coffee-shop guy." "He's so handsome!" "Whats the use?" "We've been saying 'so handsome, so handsome' since a month." "He doesn't even look here." "We don't exist for cool dudes like him, poor sales girls like us." "Oh my God Gullu!" "He's coming this way..." "Hi!" "AmjadmAmjad Baig." "Gulrez Qadir." "How can I help you?" "!" "Am lookin' for a cool pair for my mum." "Repeat please." "I want to buy shoes...for my mother." "No no... in English." "Your accent is so yummy." "lam looking for a cool pair for my mum." " American accent?" " Yeah..." "I've been watching you for a month." "And I've been waiting for you to have the courage to enter the shop." "I'm somewhat of a wimp." "So...your mom's size?" "Yes, yes..." "Huh!" "Where in America do you live?" "New York?" "Jubilee Hills... the Hyderabad one." "Born and brought up." "So this American accent?" "I work for an American software company but I'm shifting to America in three months." "I've got admission in MBA." "New York?" "Kalamazoo." "Oh Kalamazoo" "Kalamazoo is in the state of Michigan..." "Michigan's capital is Lansing." "Kalamazoo is in the state of Michigan, Michigan's capital...." "Michigan, the capital of Lansing." "Lake Ontario to the west." "East, Lake Erie." "South west is Ohio, capital Columbus in the south is Indiana, capital Indianapolis." "And right in the centre will be you, Kalamazoo!" "WOW!" "You're quite deep into USA huh?" "It was my dream to study shoe-desgining in America." "But I became a shoe sales-girl here." "I wish we could both go." "Actually, come with me!" "You will become a famous star-shoe designer." "I will do your marketing..." "designer brand..." "Gullu, what say?" "Soft, sublime, The scent is your's" "Let's go?" "lam blooming." "Soft, sublime, The scent is your's- lam blooming." "Sour, sweet, The words are your's- lam chirping." "You're an old longing, A new playfulness." "Make me believe Are you for real or not?" "Oh my, my tongue is slipping" "I have turned poetic!" "I'm humming, I've turned romantic..." "I have turned poetic!" "Poetic, poetic, I've turned poetic..." "The moon tricks me and walks away," "It appears to me in the day." "It picks new dreams for me..." "It pulls me by the arm, The wind blows me away," "It finds new ways for me." "Poetic, poetic, I've turned poetic..." "You're an old habit, You're brand new trouble." "Make me believe, Are you for real or not?" "Oh my, my tongue is slipping" "I have turned poetic!" "I'm humming, I've turned romantic..." "I have turned poetic!" "Enough!" "I'm hungry..." "let's eat kababs?" "I am a vegetarian." "Really?" "Everyone is turning vegetarian in America." "Amjad!" "What will we do?" "I love you, but I love Nalli, nahari kabab, biryani, haleem also very much." "I'm a hard-core non!" "So you eat." "Yes, you can eat." "Who's stopping you?" "All relationships are like that in America you do what you like, I'll do what I like." "I really love you!" "Remember this my friend...today I will eat only vegetarian with you." "Gullu..." "Let's begin the gift ceremony." "Bride's mother will gift a brand new car..." "Mummy, come on mummy!" "Thank you amma" "Bride's uncle will gift two pure gold wrist watches..." "One for the left hand, one for the right." "Very nice dowry" "On top of all the gifts..." "I have given one crore cash dowry to Pooja's in laws." "Pooja's husband is an IAS, that's his rate." "Gullu!" "_Amju ~ Hi!" "The next presentation..." "Bride's aunt will gift a gold set." "Give her a big hand!" "Please" "A mixer griander and 32 inch LED TV from the bride's uncle in Dubai." "You turned out to be quite brave..." "coming here without an invitation." "I missed you!" "I was too busy with the wedding..." "Pooja wouldn't let go of me..." "Gullu!" "I missed you so much!" "Will you have a love marriage or arranged?" "My father will hang me from the fan if I have a love marriage." "You?" "My Booji...should be okay." "Hopefully." "Did you tell Booji about me?" "No." "Should I?" "Should I convince my father to bring a proposal to your house?" "Are you proposing to me?" "We've been together for more than a month." "Okay!" "We rejecting boys speaking English very badly..." "For Gullu, only good English speaking." "Amju-Gullu..." "Perfect coupling." "You needn't worry about dowry, we don't want anything." "The love with which Amju has come," "I mean all of you have come from Jubilee Hills you would obviously not bring the filth of dowry with you." "Send you daughter in one outfit, we'll be happy." "We just need some help from you." "Of course." "What help?" "For his higher education." "I told you..." "Yes Kalamazoo!" "What a robust name, Kalamazoo." "So... what help can I offer you?" "College tuition, travel expenses, living and food expenses not for him alone..." "for the bride as well." "After marriage, we won't force your daughter to stay with us." "She will also go with Amju." "We are very open minded..." "Very good..." "Amju, I hear you're a vegetarian?" "Here, the help list!" "Oh okay..." "It's just eight lakhs." "Not eight, eighty." "Eighty!" "Please go through it." "It's all accounted." "Every penny will be spent on them." "Nothing on us." "You never said anything about this Amju?" "Have you spoken to Gulrez before this?" "Yes... he's spoken to me, held my hand..." "Said I love you a hundred times." "0k... but the match is being made with our permission." "It is arranged." "Amju, how can you do this if you love me how can you ask for money?" "This is understood dear." "He will go to America, get educated, earn millions only you will enjoy the benefits." "We're just asking your father for some help not asking him to build the Charminar!" "But you are educated, with an American accent going to do your MBA..." "So?" "Doctors, engineers, IAS, IPS, all ask for help." "What's wrong with MBA?" "Amju, I'm an ordinary sales-girl, where will I get eighty lakhs from?" "But your father works at the court...high court!" "Yes, but I'm merely a clerk, not a lawyer." "My salary is only thirty thousand per month." "I have some jewellery and cash for the dowry..." "Hey, hey, who's asking for dowry..." "Help, help!" "Sorry help..." "I can help up to fifteen lakhs." "Fifteen?" "Nowadays even the note-books cost more in America..." "There's a long line of people waiting to help my Amju." "Not bits and pieces, full help." "Amjad, you won't say anything?" "Dad, my education will cost only sixty lakhs why are you asking for eigthy?" "That's unfair." "Unfair?" "What's unfair?" "I pawned my jewellery to send you to an English medium school now you're misbehaving with us in fluent English!" "I'm Sorry..." "Amju!" "Gullu" "My Child!" "What kind of misbehaviour is this?" "You won't get anything here no burger, no hot-dog, no cold-drink, no help..." "Nothing." "Get out of here..." " Get out...out!" " She's gone crazy!" "Gullu calm down..." "Leave!" "Just leave!" "I love you Gullu." "I hate you Amjad." "Gullu, I want to go to Kalamazoo with you climb the Statue of Liberty with you..." "Go hang yourself..." "bloody vegetarian!" "Gullu!" "Gullu!" " Let's go!" "Mr. Abdul Qadir!" "This is not right!" "Your daughter has made a very big mistake!" "A very big mistake!" "Get lost..." "or I'll beat you to a pulp." "You want help?" "Here, take help...take help..." "Radha Reddy Ma'am, your husband has been jailed for six years how does it feel?" "I am very happy, thanks to 498a..." "The honourable judge has sent my husband to jail ordered him to give me ten crores cash a flat to live in and four lakhs monthly alimony." "Long live 498a." "They cook the most delicious biryani..." "Amazing!" "Try this piece, it's very tasty..." "No, no..." "I'm done." "With the baghaare baingan..." "Ok fine." "Only after giving anaesthesia of my favourite food from my favourite restaurant, will you perform surgery..." "Out with it...what's up?" "Booji, I don't want to get married at all whether it's a bilu flim cheapster or an American accent MBA." "Nobody values companionship, friendship, love, affection they're all just parasites." "All boys are not alike Gullu." "They are Booji, you don't know!" "Have your cold-drink." "Anyway, I have decided..." "I will fulfill my dreams." "You and I are going to New York." "I will study Fashion Designing, I will be a famous shoe designer." "You just enjoy!" "Come on, which bank will we rob?" "We will put 498a, like Radha Reddy." "It's a law, not nail-polish!" "We'll use the law." "First, we will change our name and appearance and post my photo and bio-data on a matrimonial site." "Boys will line up to marry me." "We will interview them and choose the most greedy scoundrel." "I will marry him in a fake ceremony." "The next day we will use 498a and file a dowry harassment case against the groom and his family." "To avoid jail-time they will agree to an out of court settlement." "We will then ask for eighty lakhs in cash!" "They will have to pay up." "We will take that money and off to New York." "Isn't it a great idea!" "You want to bribe me with dinner to pass this dangerous plan?" "There's no danger Booji!" "Shut up... just shut up!" "Never speak of this stupid plan again!" "Let's go!" "You think you're too smart..." "trying to use 498a" "Booji!" "Hey ldrees, clean table number seven" " Slalekum!" " Walekum" "My tea today!" "You're up very early." "I was planning all night." "We will change our name, dress, appearance and look for our target." "Not here, everyone knows us in Hyderabad." "In some other city." "Don't start again!" "Listen to the full plan at least..." "We will go fully prepared." "I've found out the name of the guy who makes fake passports here in Laad Bazaar, he'll make it in two days." "Don't worry, I will wear a veil while giving the photo and money." " He wont recognize..." " Stop it now!" "If Bilqees and Rukmani hear this, they will report you." "We will have to buy hundred dirhams we will photocopy those and make bundles." "What?" "We need cash for all this, so break the dowry deposit." "It will finance the whole mission." "Where did you learn all this from?" "The internet has everything from child delivery to bomb making, all recipes." "Anyway..." "One minute..." "Bhopal, Ahmedabad, Delhi, Lucknow." " Where do you want to go?" " Jail!" "Tell me Booji, I have to book the tickets." "Booji!" "The whole world asks for dowry!" "If I con some money out of a greedy dowry monger, what's the big deal?" "In India, one woman is killed for dowry every hour!" "I swear by Google..." "see for yourself." "Booji, we've been insulted a lot." "Now we will avenge those insults." "We will fulfill our dreams." "Don't marry, if you don't want to." "If you want to study..." "study right here in India." "We have Fashion Designing here too." "I will only study in the New York College." "If you don't want to help, then don't." "I will do everything myself." "If you commit this crime Gullu..." "I will report you myself and send you to jail." "Ok, I will marry the "Bilu Flim" jerk tomorrow." "He will make me watch them as well." "Gullu don't be stubbborn..." "Who knows, he will make a blue film of me!" "Then you'll be happy?" "Gullu!" "Gullu!" "Gullu won't you say Khuda Hafiz?" "Ok don't, I won't either!" "Booji!" "Booji!" "Did you get hurt?" "What happened?" "Don't you know how to drive?" " Sorry, I blew the horn..." " What happened?" " ...but he didn't hear madam..." " I'm alright, it's just a scratch." "I'm fine, I'm fine." "I should call Mohan Rao." " Let it be now..." " Should we call an ambulance?" "No, thank you so much." "Thank you." "Sir please listen to me." "Sir my father has had an accident, how can I leave him alone?" "It's an emergency leave Sir." "Fine, fire me if you like, but I can't come today." "Fine." "Idiot!" "Come on, don't fuss." "Gullu..." "If I had been crushed..." "you, on your own...?" "Why are you scared?" "Nothing will happen to you." "I won't trouble you again..." "Sorry!" "Why should you be sorry?" "Before something really happens to me, we will fulfill your dream." "Come on, let's go to New York." " No Booji, no..." " Yes!" "If the whole world is feeding off dishonesty why should we starve by being honest?" "I couldn't become a lawyer but you will definitely become a Fashion Designer." "So what's the plan, where will we go to trap our prey?" "Bhopal, Ahmedabad, Lucknow, Delhi?" "Lucknow." "Good choice partner." "The food is great in Lucknow." "Daddy... stop scratching." "My beard itches..." "more so when I'm nervous!" "Then scratch stylishly..." "like this!" "Good morning, Sir." " Daddy, what are you doing?" " I'm sorry!" "I'm sorry!" "Sir, my payment?" "One..." " Two..." " Excuse me?" "I'm sorry!" "Sorry!" "What are you doing?" "Keep your hand here." "Daddy..." "Welcome sir!" " Namaste, Ma'am!" " Welcome, Sir!" "Namaste, Sir!" "Thank you." "One big size soot please." "Sorry?" "One king size suite please" " Suite" " Sure... your names please." "Abdul Qad..." "Habibullah, Sania Habibullah." "Shahriyar Habibullah." "Ma'am your Photo ld's please" " Done?" " Yes Ma'am." "Thank you" "Thank you so much" "Habibullah..." "Habibullah..." "Habibullah." "What's your name?" "My name is Shahriyar Habibullah." "What's your name?" "This can't be our room..." " Daddy!" " No sir, this is your room." " Sure?" " Yes Sir!" "Good day Sir." "Good day Ma'am." " Good day..." " Good day..." "Oh!" "Yes" "Thank you Ma'am." "Have a nice day!" "Get up, why are you sitting?" "I'm practising to be Habibullah." "Done... come now, there is a lot to do..." "Here, your phone is ready." " Should I call Ismail Qureshi?" "Yes, Ismail Qureshi!" "Hello Slalekum, this is Abdul Qadir speaking!" "Shahriyar Habibullah!" "Habibullah Habibullah Shahriyar Habibullah!" " Who is this damn Habibullah?" " Ok relax, relax, relax... relax." "Shahriyar Habibullah, Shahriyar Habibullah." "Hello, yes, Slalekum..." "This is Shahriyar Habibullah speaking." "No, not from Dubai, we're in Lucknow right now." "Are you Ismail Qureshi?" "You had put your bio-data on the matrimonial website." "Yes, I want to fix the time of appointment." "Please come at ten no, no, not at night, ten in the morning." "Yes, Khuda Hafiz." " Done!" " Done." "Easy?" "Now you'll make the next call?" "Yes, this is Shahriyar Habibullah speaking." "Yes!" "Yes!" "This is Shahriyar Habibullah to fix the marriage-interview appointment please come at twelve." "Obviously, you will come with your son..." "Mr. Babbar Khan, this is Shahriyar Habibullah." "I've called to give you your time slot four thirty at the Jahanpanah 'soot'" " ...no don't wear a suit." " Suite Booji, suite." "Please come to the Jahanpanah suite." "If you're busy, we're busier!" "We can't wait a week for you." "No Mr. Abbas you listen to me..." "Does the bride's family ever take a proposal to the groom's house?" "Your appointment is for seven thirty." "You can come at seven fifteen and ask anyone in the lobby," ""May I want to see Shahriyar Habibullah from Dubai"." "Our room is called the Jahapanah suite!" "From Haidaﬂ Kabab, Taﬁq Haider aka Tam." "Great, now even cooks are looking for brides on matrimonial sites" "Who knows this kabab might get slaughtered himself." "Hello..." "Shahriyar Habibullah speaking, is this Tariq Haider?" "Ok, his father?" "Please note the time, tomorrow 8 pm." "Khuda Hafiz!" "Ok, next..." "All done." "The entire day has gone into making calls." "I'm terribly hungry." "Where's the menu?" "Dal, 250 rupees!" "Curry, 500 rupees!" "Chapatti, 75 rupees!" "ls their barbecue studded with diamonds?" "It's a five star Booji, so the rates are also five star." "No!" "I don't like this waste of money..." "See this...dal is 50, veg curry 75, kofta 50 and roti only 20." "This is Haidari kabab, the one that belongs to Tariq Haider!" "Here, Haidari kabab has arrived" "Tariq bhai, table for five of us!" "How much longer Tariq?" "Half an hour is up, Tariq bhai..." "Wait!" "Wait!" "Everyone will get a table..." "Ok, next number..." "Julie!" " Julie!" " Yes, we here...we here!" " Come, come, come... you hungry?" " Yes." "Tariq!" "I am waiting for an hour but you are giving entry to the "white" dames." "Mr. Chaudhary, they will eat fast, feel good and then burp praises of Haidari Kabab on Facebook..." " ...the whole world will listen..." " Okay, okay." "Hang on for a few minutes till then wash down a seekh with cold-drinks..." "Ok, ok...hurry up" "Mateen, 4 seekh plates for Mr. Chaudhary..." " I'll just get it Taru bhai" " What is this Tariq..." " I've been waiting a long time..." " You're next...almost there..." "Ateeq, menu here..." "think of the order till then..." " Ok madam, come..." " Yes." "You U.S?" " No..." "Amrica, England?" "No, I am from Germany..." "Oh ho..." "Germany..." "Germany football..." "So delicious... so delicious..." "like Haidari Kabab..." "My friend is from England." "Oh..." "England Queen..." "Queen also very delicious..." " Ok madams, here is your table" " Yes..." "Thank you" "Okay." "So, what's the special?" " Special" " Yup" "O kay" "This ispecial, this ispecial all ispecial no ordinary..." "I order?" "Cheap and best..." " Okay?" " Okay?" " Hey Maxeen..." "Yes Tam Bhai" "Two plates kabab, two sheekhs, two meat balls, two kofta, ...four chapattis at table number sixteen..." "Two kheer, two kulfi..." "I'll just get it brother" "Ok...what about Julab Gamun?" "Julaab Gamun!" "Oh my..." "Gulab Jamuno..." " Hey Maxeen," "Yes Tam bhai... 2 gulab jamuns as well." "Right away, with sugar syrup" "Sania Habibullah?" "Father-in-law..." "Shahriyar Habibullah!" "Coming" "My God he is so yummy..." "When did you arrive?" "Didn't recognize me?" "My portrait is posted on the matrimonial site..." "I have an appointment with you tomorrow..." " Hey Mateen" " Yes bhai?" "Special feerni here..." "You haven't paid, have you?" "Hey Mateen, have you taken their payment?" "Yes I have..." "Dimwit, can't you see who they are?" "Are you trying to insult us by taking money from them?" "Go get the money back..." "Allow us to pay the bill..." "Why will you pay, you're my father-in-law-uncle!" "That will be decided tomorrow..." "after the interview." "For now we will pay." "Let's go daddy!" "Khuda Hafiz." "We'll meet tomorrow" "Look now, myself Big Boss..." "Haidari Kabab." "I will decide who pays here and who doesn't." "We ate, we decide." "Sania... he is saying so lovingly, so we should relent." "Love?" "!" "This is hooliganism!" "ls your daughter so uptight about everything?" "Excuse me!" "I am not uptight!" "Here's the money... including tip we're going, the bill is settled." "But the heart is not settled madam." "Please take this money, or else..." "Or else?" "Or else, what?" "Arm-wrestle with me..." "winner pays the bill." "We're leaving..." "Come on." "Okay let's see what you got." "No Sania..." "It was a joke madam." "You're a very serious number." "Was the curry too spicy?" " Mateena, get madam a cold drink." " Right away!" "Don't create a scene Sania..." "We can't let him insult us like this." "Swear on kabab..." "no insulting madam..." "Shut up and start." "Cheers for Taru bhai!" "Cheers for Taru bhai!" "Cheers for Taru bhai!" "Cheers for Taru bhai!" "Cheers for Taru bhai!" "Cheers for Taru bhai!" "Hey...you didn't even say ready, steady, go..." "Oh, you weren't ready Mr. Macho?" "I am always ready." " Sorry better luck next time." " Come on now" "Actually... for you, there will be no next time." "Your interview... cancelled." "Your appoint... cancelled." " Got it!" "Cancelled!" " Yes yes, it's cancelled..." "But what have I done Madam?" "Just a little welcoming." "In Lucknow, we treat a guest like God." "Chauffe r." "Anyway I am not dying for an appointment with you..." "I am busy with appointments from morning to night." "And Taru bhai, all well?" " Here you go..." "All well?" "Tuck your shin in at least..." " It's a style papa..." " Save this style for home." "Mr. Tiwari..." " How are you?" " How are you sir?" "All good" "Which room is Sania Habibullah staying in?" "Jahapanah suite..." "Oh!" "Suite!" "Ateeq, Mateen..." "Yes, Taru Bhai" " Come on, pick up the artillery" "Come!" "Mr. Abbas and Family" "Brothers!" "Aren't we all brothers?" "Hungry and thirsty..." "how long have you been waiting?" "And now it's lunch-time." "So on behalf of Haidari Kabab, banish hunger enjoy our kababs brothers!" "Twenty lakhs!" "Twenty lakhs?" "Ok nineteen lakhs..." "but not a penny less." "Colonel Abbas..." "Major Abbas..." "Madam..." "Thank you very much!" "So the marriage is fixed!" "We have 300 grocery stores in Dubai. 500 taxis." "5000 employees work under us." "Habibullah Group of Companies' annual turnover is 200 crores and you're insulting us by asking for mere 20 lakhs!" "How dare you?" " Please get out!" " C'mon son..." " How dare they ask for only 20 lakhs?" " C'mon...we've been insulted enough!" "Are we mad that we'll accept your proposal?" "How dare you insult us?" "Come on, get out." "Out." "Get out from here" "I said out" "What are you doing..." "you're over-acting." "What over-acting..." "Father is a Colonel, son's a Major!" "My heart was pounding with fear." "How did a Colonel get here?" "I had made sure no IPS or IAS officer no police, no army man comes in..." "I had checked..." "But you did well...very well." "What authority!" " Was it good?" " Yes..." "Let's call the next one then?" "Wait, let me just check the camera..." "I'm really enjoying being a millionaire..." "Until now, we used to be scared of the boy's families now they are wetting their pants because of us." "Come, who's the next candidate?" "Come on in...we'll make you wet your pants..." "Father-in-law uncle!" "You can't barge in like this!" " May I come in?" " Meaning?" "Myself Tariq Haidar..." "You cannot come in." "Your appointment was cancelled." "Out." "I haven't come for the appointment Madam." "So then?" "For you, with my own hands." "Excuse me..." "We don't want to talk to you about anything." "Have you forgotten yesterday's defeat?" "You gate crasher, I'll send you to jail." "Uncle..." "Hello reception..." "Yes there is a man...here..." "My great-great-grand-father used to say don't ever break the customer's heart..." "To mend hearts... here are kababs made from his recipe." "I've come only to serve these kababs..." "There's biryani, bread, curry, feerni and papa-mummy as well outside." "Want to eat?" "Want to meet?" " This one, give me this piece." " This one." "It's very good..." "Where's your fork?" "Daddy pick up your fork..." " Shahi tukda" " Thank you!" "Hmmmmyummm..." "By Allah's grace we have everything Mr. Habibullah." "But we have to consider our traditions, customs..." "Mr. Haidari... speak openly." " Sania noting!" " Yes noting!" "Noting!" "Will you please put the tiffin-box down aunty's face is getting blocked." " Anything else?" " No... thank you so much!" "What can I say Mr. Habibullah, I'm sure you understand." "Fridge double door washing machine front loading," "AC split AC such everyday items are a given." "Yes jewellery..." "Two gold sets, two silver sets and one diamond set will do..." "And one car... that is compulsory nowadays." "A Skoda will do." "Anything else?" " And..." " That's all." "Sania total?" "Um... forty two lakhs." "Only forty two lakhs?" "Round figure, make it forty." "Three lakhs, forty thousand dirhams you can convert it and get whatever you want." "By today's conversion rate, its approximately forty lakhs." "Approximately forty lakhs." "Now the girl's demands." "Of course, today girls are walking chest to chest with boys." "Shoulder to shoulder papa." "Yes, I meant shoulder to shoulder..." "Our country's Prime Minister was a woman even our President was a woman..." "The wedding will be in two days." "Two days?" "My heart is eighty percent blocked... it can fail anytime." "I want to settle my daughter at the earliest." "Invitation cards, fancy clothes, relatives... all waste of money." "Waste is a sin..." "It will be a simple wedding, right here in this room bride, groom, you and I." "The bride and groom will solemnize the wedding themselves according to Islam, there's no need for a priest only two witnesses are needed." "If you accept my conditions, then it's a deal." "If not, you can leave." "There are others waiting outside." " But..." " We accept!" "We accept all your conditions." " Day after tomorrow, wedding." " One minute." "Simple wedding..." "like!" "O kay" "Bride and groom solemnize the wedding themselvesmlike that too!" "O kay" "But make her my wife..." "without knowing her...not like!" "Meaning?" "I need three days..." "with your daughter." "Are you crazy?" " What are you saying?" " Have you lost your mind?" "One minute please." "We can all see Sania Habibullah is very beautiful." "But beauty alone is not everything." "I too am a beauty!" "She's uptight, she's feisty..." "that's all I know about her." "She knows nothing about me either." "To become life-partners we have to go beyond beauty." "Let's see if we can tolerate each other for three days." "If we are to get along, we will in three days..." "If we do get along we will get married, or else bye bye..." "Do you agree?" "Do not agree!" "We're giving forty lakhs in dowry that's all you need to know about me." "If you want to marry me, you will have to accept my conditions too." "No way." "As per our customs, boys and girls don't roam around openly before marriage." "Then let's meet behind closed doors..." " How dare you Tariq Haidar?" " Joke madam, joke!" "In any case, day after is Holi." "On Holi everyone plays holi here, nobody gets married." "Day after that is Saturday, very busy day." "If the wedding can't happen till Sunday why not spend the three days with me." "No..." "This spending time business is not possible." "Not possible!" "Ok, we'll take my cousin sister Fareeda for safety..." "My safety..." "No, thank you very much." "Goodbye." "Ok goodbye!" "Thank you very much." "Come on papa-mummy." "Let's go." "Listen Tariq, you're making a big mistake." " We'll talk in the car." " Why don't you explain to him..." "He's always stubborn..." "never listens to others..." "Yes please leave far better boys than your son are lined up outside." " Oh really?" "Khuda Hafiz!" " Khuda Hafiz!" "Khuda Hafiz!" "On the right...the yellow house is of candidate number 12." "What tall claims he was making that all of Lucknow eats eggs from his poultry..." "One who lives in this ruin will never have the settlement money." "Cut his name..." "That's why I wanted to see for myself the financial status of the candidates before choosing the prey." "How do we know who's lying, can't trust anyone..." "Wait, wait..." "Tariq Haidar's house." "What an amazing mansion" "It is..." "They have 3 cars!" "Yes!" "That red one is too sexy Booji." " It's too amazing" " Yes, sorry" "One thing is clear..." "A court case will damage their reputation the most." "They are wealthy too." "They will be able to immediately pay the cash we demand." "What say?" "All that is fine but I will have to roam around Lucknow for three days with that kababster Tariq!" "And what if he says no after three days?" "We won't let him..." "I'll play negative, you play positive." "Meaning?" "Meaning..." "I will bad mouth everything he does but you praise him." "He will surely end up liking you." "Yes." "Her father was ready, your parents were ready even the dowry was enough to keep our head held high." "What was the need to put these stupid conditions Taru?" "If she likes me even a little bit, she will agree." "And if she doesn't?" "You're getting old..." "When will he marry?" "I will marry the one who loves me at least a little bit if not a whole lot." "No chance of you finding someone who will love you." "Wherever you go, you put these conditions." "Or tell us where we can find you a fairy queen we'll go and get her..." "So Taru, did she accept your condition?" "She will accept Mr. Chaudhary, she will." "Did she call?" "She will Nanhe miyan..." "If she doesn't call, what will you do Taru bhai?" "Then where will you get a moon-like bride for yourself?" "I want not the moon," "Nor the night bird," "Nor a slice of sky." "I want not the light," "Nor a fairy" "Nor a fairy-face." "She who walks with me," "She who tastes with me," "Each joy and each sweet sorrow." "I'll wake her from her dreams..." "In my arms I'll make her sleep," "I'll pamper her," "I'll feed her all my life," "The heart has laid out a buffet," "The heart has laid out a buffet, it's the feast of love." "If you accept the invitation, please do come my love." "It's the feast of love." "The heart has laid out a buffet" "I have laid out a carpet of clouds for you..." "I have decked out trays of stars for you..." "Why did you trouble the moon and stars for me?" "Wherever I go sunshine follows me" "Your words are sugary sweet..." "What about your feast?" "ls it sweet as your words?" "If you come, my bland party will turn delicious." "If your party is bland, why should I come?" "If you tell me to..." "I will fire all the dishes with the warmth of my heart..." "The heart has laid out a buffet," "The heart has laid out a buffet, it is the feast of love." "If you accept the invitation, please do come my love." "It is the feast of love." "Feast of love, It's the feast of love." "Love mixed in the drinks for the feast of love." "That's adulteration in the feast of love." "Only the fortunate get invited to the feast of love." "Who has the time to waste, on the feast of love." "Don't dismiss, just taste." "Don't hyper-ventilate." "Let's get connected" "Let's think about it" "Not with thought, nor with tact," "I've invited you with my heart." "Ok then..." "I accept..." "I accept your feast of love." "Yes Sir, I agree to your feast of love." "It's the feast of love..." "It's the feast of love..." "It's the feast of love..." "It's love, it's love, the feast of love..." "It's the feast of love..." "It's love!" "Come on Farru" "Remember, you positive, me negative." "Slalekum!" "Hope you slept peacefully last night." "No peace at all..." "your hotels are rubbish..." "Our Dubai has the best..." "Oh daddy, their hotels are fine too." "Hello Fareeda." "You've come to take us sight-seeing?" "I have no interest in being a third wheel!" "But Taru bhai promised me a new phone if I agree to come along." "My phone is too old." "That's the only reason I'm here." "Fareeda and her tall-tales!" "Come on Sania." "Uncle, Khuda Hafiz." "Uncle will go as well." "Uncle will go as well?" "If Fareeda has come with you someone from our side will have to go as her body guard." "Come on uncle, your daughter doesn't need a body guard she can bury ten bodies with one hand." "Come on Sania, he doesn't agree." "No no... come, please come." "If only you had told me..." "I would have brought along papa, mummy, uncles and aunties as well." "You could have set the tuning with the entire clan." "Right?" "He is so funny daddy" "Let's go!" "Let's go!" "So Tariq Haider..." " ...we would like to..." " Taru... people call me Taru, sir." "We won't!" "It's a weird name-Tar..." "It's not weird daddy, I like it." "She like it!" " How are you?" " Fine sir." "Where's the car?" "Here it is, my Impala." "This red box!" "We will go in this jalopy?" "Entire Lucknow is crazy about my Impala." "Entire Lucknow may be crazy about your Impala but Sania is used to luxury cars." "Get a Mercedes or a Benz, only then will we go." "Or else, let's go back Sania." "Oh daddy, now that Tariq is insisting..." "I don't mind taking a round or two in his Impala." "Uncle..." "You should get comfortable in the back seat." "Why?" "Oh daddy...now that Tariq is insisting..." "I don't mind sitting in front for an hour or so." "Rickety Impala!" "Uh..." "Can I drive?" "I'll drive?" "Stop here..." "What's here?" "Hazrat Ganj" "Saw it, let's go now?" "If you're in Lucknow and don't go 'Gunjing' in Hazrat Ganj you've done nothing father-in-law Uncle." "Sania is allergic to Gunjing etc, ok?" "Daddy...now that Tariq is insisting..." "I don't mind doing a round or so of Gunjing." "The world's best 'Pani Batashe'." "Batashe?" "Why, what is it called in Dubai?" "'Gol Gappe'?" " Listen" " No." "We won't eat this..." "Sania is allergic to chilies, flies, pot-water..." "Oh daddy...now that Tariq is insisting I don't mind having one or two..." "Let's watch a 'Picture'?" "Or is she allergic to 'Pictures' as well?" "We don't watch 'Pictures', we watch 'Movies'." "That too Hollywood." "Oh!" "Hollywood!" "I only like Bolly..." "Once in awhile I watch Holly, if it has action." "But every Friday, only Bolly." "Oh daddy...now that Tariq is insisting..." "I don't mind watching a..." "Bolly!" "What a rubbish 'Picture', even the heroine was so skinny." "But if you ever become roly-poly, it'll make no difference to me." "What if I get paunch in the future?" "Let me know now, if you want a body-builder type." "That you won't get in Taru." "What's there in the body..." "thin today, fat tomorrow." "Beauty should be in the thinking." "Beauty in thinking!" "Ok Sania." "For our tuning-setting, there should be no lies between us." "Right?" "Yes!" "No..." "In that case... my bio-data posted on the matrimonial site says I'm a graduate." " Yes!" " That's a lie." "Oh!" "Yes!" "Papa-mummy forced me to write that saying now a days no girl is willing to marry less than a graduate." "The truth is, I failed in the 12th and you're an MBA." "Right?" "How will we have tuning-setting?" "People from all over the world come to taste your food." "So what if you didn't go to college makes no difference." "But we will educate our kids very well." "Right?" "Daddy!" "Can't see daddy anywhere." "Oh, yes." "Hadn't he come along as your bodyguard?" "Must be with Farru somewhere." "Must have been hard for father-in-law uncle after your mummy's death." "He had to be your mummy and your daddy." "Waking you up, sending you to school, must have done everything..." "You haven't told me your mummy's name." "What was her name?" " Noorjahan Qadir." " Noorjahan Qadir..." "Qadir?" "Her surname was Qadir." "Ok she didn't change to Habibullah after marriage?" "Why?" "Boys don't change their name after marriage so why should girls change their name?" "They shouldn't!" "Habibullah suit's you best." "Sania Habibullah." "I like it." "So tell me, how many kids?" "Daddy will fall ill if he runs around so much..." " Six, okay?" " Daddy" "Twelve-thirteen okay?" "Your luscious attitude makes my intentions snap." "Your enchanting locks entangle and unravel my promises." "If not the sea of love," "Give me but a drop," "Every bit of my heart, prays to you" "You're my prayer, I ask you from you," "You're my prayer, I believe you are my God," "You're my prayer..." "You're my prayer..." "Hey Taru!" "You toss your wild hair..." "You toss your wild hair and knock me out." "Your strike bolts with your glowing eyes, and burn me down." "My youth is a thicket of clouds, my being is fire" "To be imprisoned in my mane, is every young man's desire." "Yes I burn, but I'm drops of cool intoxication too ls it!" "I fill a sea within and let it rain love." "You are Thumri, I'm Dadra..." "We are both exquisite raagas" "Tune your notes with mine and let the world sing." "Black, white, my every shade" "Prays to you..." "You're my prayer..." " Oh Sanﬂu" " Oh Tam" " Did you win the match?" " We lost the match" "How many runs did you make Shakeel?" "Full century" "We lost, we lost, we lost the match" "If you lose next time, no jalebis for you" "Thank you aunty!" "Uncle, is this your aunty?" "She's not aunty, she's uncle's wife." "Uncle's wife, uncle's wife!" "My blazing heart is now used to you, ls now duped by you..." "Slowly my desire for you, ls beginning to cross my own boundaries." "The heart is not satisfied with a drop anymore," "It wants your sea of love." "My patience, is impatient for you." "It prays to you" "You're my prayer, I ask you from you," "You're my prayer, I believe you are my God," "You're my prayer..." "Stop stop Taru, stop." "Tarn?" "Huh?" "You know why I asked you for three days?" "So that in three days you could start loving me at least a little bit, if not a lot so that you marry me for love." "And if you hadn't fallen in love with me..." "I thought we could become friends." "Facebook-type." "But I do...from Tariq I've come to Taru." "That's it!" "That's all I wanted to confirm." "I am ready." "You ready?" "Yes ready." "Come on then!" "You're my prayer, I ask you from you," "You're my prayer, I believe you are my God," "You're my prayer..." "My room!" "What is this?" "All top heros and heroines come to Haidari to eat our kababs but my top most heroine is this..." "What are you doing Tariq?" "Call me Taru." "You said you have come from Tariq to Taru." "But tell me what you're doing." "I don't want to marry you for your cash value." "I want to marry you for your own value." "The value of your friendship..." "the value of your beauty the value of your smile ...the value of your brains." "I don't want dowry from your daddy." "I'm not an item for my papa to sell and your daddy to buy." "Papa doesn't understand." "His heart has attacked him once." "I'm afraid of fighting him what if he passes away without seeing his grand-children?" "He loves me a lot." "But this disease of bowing before society and It's customs doesn't leave him." "So, it's like this he will not accept our marriage without dowry..." "So you tell your daddy to give my papa-mummy this forty lakh rupees as dowry." "Everyone wins!" "What happened?" "Shocked?" "Yes..." "Totally..." "I didn't expected this at all..." "You love me a lot right?" "If I tell you something, you won't be angry?" "No" "You'll forgive me at once?" "Yes" "I'm not Sania..." "I'm Gullu..." "See..." "I had come to trap you in a dowry case and get money out of you" "Tarn..." "Tarn..." "Taru..." "Gullu..." "Gullu save me..." "Booji!" "Gullu!" " Booji!" "Sania!" "What happened?" "Shocked?" "Very shocked..." "I didn't expected this at all..." "Sania..." "I never expected that a scrap like me would get a delicacy like you?" "Has anything expected happened between us so far?" "But we're having a good time?" "Right?" "So, get over the shock and smile." "But please don't tell papa-mummy about this, it's our private secret." "Khuda Hafiz" "Khuda Hafiz..." "Taar...ru." "We have to take care of law and order as well..." "Please get your wife the next time..." " Yes, please do.." " Yes, sure..." " Excuse me Ma'am." " Yes?" "Can I help you with the bag?" "No." " Sure?" " Yes." "He gave you forty lakhs, just like that?" "He has truly fallen in love with you." "Will you still con him?" "Listen to me..." "If you tell him the truth even once he will support you in fulfilling your dreams." " Don't be childish, Booji!" " How is this being childish?" "Booji...he won't support me, he'll send me tojail." "Fake currency, fake passport, fake visa..." "It's very risky." "Now we're deep into this mess there's only one way out..." "stick to the plan." "Don't get confused we will do what we have come for and get out of here." "Yes, closer." "That's it." "Ready?" "And..." " You're glowing aunty..." " Let me see..." "Close the button at least." "It's alright papa." " You should look like a groom." " Our Taru is looking so handsome..." "MY Smarty groom." "WOW!" "Allah!" "She's so pretty..." "Let no evil eye cross Sania and Taru's pair..." "Three lakh forty five thousand dirhams." "There's no need to count...even if a hundred here and there is less it's all in the family." "Yes." "I have booked the honeymoon suite for the bride and groom." "Why?" "The bride will go home with us after the wedding." "I'm leaving early tomorrow morning." "It will be easier for me to say goodbye." "You can take her home tomorrow." "But this is not..." "Why not...they can have a comfortable breakfast and come home by lunch-time." "What will you have for lunch dear?" "Lunch?" "Tomorrow?" "Anything would do." "Let's start the wedding." "You're more eager than us father-in-law uncle." " Let's start?" " Yes" "Do you accept me, Sania Habibullah, daughter of Shahriyar Habibullah?" "I accept you, accept your stubbornness accept the way you call my food yummy accept the way you say Holly, accept your fluent English." "Sania Habibullah, as a whole and even in pans..." "I accept you, I accept you, I accept you!" "That's enough for now." "Now it's your turn." "I accept your daddy, your daddy's allergies..." "Enough!" "Yes...for now." "We have our entire lives to keep accepting each other." "Miss Sania Habibullah, daughter of Shahriyar Habibullah do you accept me..." "Tariq Haider, aka Taru Haider son of Farooq Haider the way you accept my shahi tukda?" "Do you accept me?" " I accept." " Congratulations!" "Come on." "I will have to go to my beloved's home..." "It's okay to cry my dear you must be sad to leave your father... go on, cry..." " Mummy, papa..." "Khuda Hafiz" " Khuda Hafiz brother" "Now please be quiet aunty..." "Why did father-in-law uncle give dirahams in the suitcase?" "He should have given my money." "Well...your papa-mummy would get suspicious." "But daddy said thanks." "Look, what daddy got for us." "Get well soon..." "Who is ill?" "Poor daddy, in all the wedding excitement picked up the wrong one." "Father-in-law uncle is too much." "Have some kheer." "I'm not hungry at all Sania." "It's the tradition if you don't eat this everything will go wrong." "Please, from my hand...one spoon?" "One for my beauty one for my mind one for my friendship." "Friendship!" "(Sneeze) I'm allergic to roses." "(Sneeze)" "Hope he is not dead?" "You mixed sleeping pills in the kheer, did you not?" "I obviously wouldn't mix poison you said four, so I mixed four." "Nothing will happen." "In the movie from which I got this idea, they had put the whole bottle." "Sania" "Let's leave before he wakes up." "Come on Gullu" "Gullu!" "Yeah!" "Coming my love..." "Tariq Haidar?" "Yes 498a, you know what that is?" "No." "Your wife has charged you and your mummy-papa under 498a." "I have the proof..." "In this DVD that you and your parents demanded dowry." "Did you or did you not?" "Speak up!" "You did, right?" "Yes Taru..." "so you are finally married?" "Will you invite me to the reception or I will get to meet your wife at the birth of your child?" "Really?" "Fridge double door..." "Washing machine front-loading..." "AC split AC..." "Everyday household items are a given." "Yes, jewellery..." "Two gold sets, two silver sets and one diamond set will do..." "And a car..." "that is compulsory nowadays." "Skoda will be fine." " Sania total?" " Forty two lakhs..." "Only forty two lakhs?" "Round figure, make it forty." "How much is your cut sir?" "It's enough." "If we double that?" "What do you mean even we have some principles." "I'm the father of two daughters." "When they are of marriageable age nobody will bother about my uniform or my honesty." "It's because of you dowry-mongers that we have to take a cut." "lam from the girl's side." "If you want an out of court settlement leave forty lakhs at the designated spot or else I'll arrest all three of you in 498a." "Okay sir, okay...but where's the guarantee that after the deal this DVD won't reach the commissioner." "What if they want more?" "Did they guarantee they will not ask for more dowry after the marriage?" "Tell me..." "Did they?" "When you didn't give us any guarantee why should we give you any... lam from the girl's side, don't you forget..." "498a is a killer." "It takes down heavyweights." "If he files a FIR under 498a, you will go straight to jail." "No bail." "Case will go straight to court, and on the basis of this DVD you will get a minimum of six years in jail." "There's only one way out give them the money and get out of this mess." "I will not give any money to give those cheating rogues." "Taru, don't be emotional, be professional." "If all three of you go to jail, who will make the biryani and kababs?" "125 years old Haidari Kabab will be ruined in one day." "Neeraj is right..." "The honour of our ancestors..." "You didn't think of the honour when you were begging for dowry?" "It was a mistake." "I swear on God I will never even utter the word dowry again." "Just go and drop the settlement money." "I won't spare that witch so easily." "O the black magic woman," "How she spun a web around me!" "Tied me to her braid, robbed me blind." "A birdie slayed a lion, and flew away." "While the mustache studs looked on in dismay." "Hail O brave-heart, O black magic woman!" "Taru bhai..." "Here, here... she's here" "Hail O strong one, O black magic woman!" "Give the bag and return the dowry money" "O the black magic woman," "How she spun a web around me!" "O the black magic woman," "Gullu!" "Gullu..." "Come here...here Gullu" "Stop you cheat!" "Go go go!" "She broke the trust of my heart," "She stole the love of my heart, and flew away." "Cheat!" "Damn your affections," "O black magic woman!" "Damn your deceitfulness," "O black magic woman!" "O the black magic woman," "How she spun a web around me!" "Who is it?" "It's me Booji...open the door" " Why didn't you knock in code?" " Oh Sorry." "What do you mean sorry?" "ls this something you can forget?" "Yuck!" "Have gotten used to Taru's flavours now everything else will feel tasteless" "Bolly..." "Lucknow wasn't so bad, we had fun" "Yes, but now you forget about bonding with Lucknow." "For Lucknow you are an enemy." "Think only of America." "Yes, America" "Had a lot of fun?" "You cheat!" "Slalequm uncle" "What did you find out?" "Fake names, fake company, fake passport and only one hundred dirham out of the three lakh forty five thousand are real?" " Where is Taru?" " On the roof again..." "Tarn..." "What are you doing at that height?" "Even if you chop all the vegetables in the market your anger won't go away." "It will go only when the father and daughter will rot in jail." "But if you keep chopping carrots, how will we find them?" "Think Taru, think about her..." "We may find a clue..." "Her father had called her Gullu..." "So?" "How can a Sania's pet name be Gullu?" "There has to be some story behind the name Gullu." "Taru bhai!" "I found your Gulrez Gullu Qadir..." "Come fast..." "What have you got?" "Just breathe, I'm showing you..." "Look at this..." "She thinks she's too smart." "She became Sania but forgot to close Gullu's facebook account." "Damn..." "Where will I find this witch?" "Hyderabad." "ls Mr. Abdul Qadir at home?" "Babu uncle?" "Gulrez Qadir?" "Yes, come come." "Please sit." "I can't see your father?" "He's gone for some important work." "What do you want?" "Suppose I have one rupee as black money." "How do I exchange it into white?" "How, is our problem." "All you need to understand is that you will give me one rupee in cash, ...and in exchange we will deposit eighty paise in your bank as white money." "That's it." "Why only eighty?" "Twenty paise is our fees, for turning black into white." "Okay...will it be transferred by tomorrow?" "Soon as you give the cash, the transfer will be done." "No, first you transfer, then I will give the cash." "No dear, this business doesn't work like that." "Ok, then I don't want to do it." "Khuda Hafiz." "How much is it?" "Eighty lakhs cash." "Hmmm..." "You called me uncle your father is a respected man in the neighbourhood." "Ok, your work will be done." "Had a lot of fun?" "You cheat!" "But within half an hour of the money being transferred my man will be here to collect the cash" "Think carefully, because once the money is deposited in your bank the white money is yours and the cash is ours." "You will have to give the entire amount." "I've thought about it transfer it as soon as possible." " Khuda Hafiz!" " Khuda Hafiz!" "Taru bhai, there are twenty six malls in Hyderabad if we're lucky we will find her in the first one." "My darned luck has become a witch too!" "Taru, I could only get tickets for tomorrow morning." "I only have thirty bullets, will that be enough?" " Have you gone mad?" " Why, won't be enough?" "You're not taking a gun." "We will have to take the gun, who knows how big is her gang?" "Yes, but you can't take it on a flight." "It's licensed." "Put it back." "O the black magic woman," "How she spun a web around me!" "She's not a cup of tea," "Nor a cup of wine." "She's not a silver bell," "Nor an aching sore." "She's made of flowers," "But whips so hard." "She's so delicate," "But scrores over brawn." "The hard hitters just look on..." "Hail the fire-cracker," "O black magic woman." "Hail the thunder maker," "O black magic woman!" "Haizel Naidu, Rajshekhar Raju," "Venkatesh Raja, G.S. Vijay," "Lakshmi Vijay." "In lots of ten only..." "All of you go in please." "Rest of you, wait outside for your turn." "Not just a bit, I loved you a whole lot and you cheated me instead..." "You cheat!" "Gullu..." "What happened?" "Let's go." "Abdul Qadir, Gulrez Qadir" "What's wrong?" "Come on..." "Gullu!" " Excuse me... excuse me..." "Gullu!" "What?" "You will return Taru's money?" "You will go back to Lucknow?" "Are you crazy?" "I can't courier eighty lakhs." "I will have to go myself...to return the money..." "To say sorry." "Are you possessed?" "It's our turn..." "let's go for the interview take the visa...and go to America." "Booji, if it was any other dowry mongering low-life..." "I wouldn't care..." "But I don't want to go to America with Taru's money." "Just think going back to Lucknow is so dangerous." "Tariq Haider won't offer you biryani and kabab." "He will take revenge, he will send you to jail." "Let him send me to jail if he wants to." "Let me be imprisoned for life." "Jail is not a joke..." "They torture you make you starve, don't even give you water you have to live like an animal..." "I know but I don't want to fulfill my dreams by breaking Taru's heart." "Please understand." "Please." "What are you made of?" "You're not scared of anything." "I've spent my entire life being scared." "I couldn't cheat because of fear now I can't be honest because of fear." "How did you turn out to be so fearless, just like your mother." "From my fearless mother's womb." "Come on, sit now." "Sit, quickly." "Hyderabadi biryani is not bad..." "It's poison..." ""everything here is poison." "Hey Neeraj... that's Gulrez Qadir's uniform, isn't it?" "Madam one second madam..." "excuse me..." " One second..." " ls he mad?" "Madam..." "Walk straight guys..." "Why are you walking like cows!" "Madam do you know Gulrez Qadir?" "Yes, who are you?" "Gullu Qadir has been selected this month's Facebook beauty queen." "We have a gift voucher for her." "Really?" "I'll just call and tell her." "No, no Madam, if you call her we will lose our jobs." "Then how will our wives and kids celebrate Christmas." "You give us the number and address..." "We will go and surprise her." "Will you have jalebis?" "Please have some..." "Ma'am, number?" "If your mother was alive..." "Booji..." "Save the sentimental talk." "I'm not being sentimental..." "If your mother was alive she would have given you two slaps for being so stubborn." "You made me lie and run all over the place and then you didn't even fulfill your dreams." "Crazy girl!" "So what Booji." "It's ok if I didn't go to America," "I'll study Fashion Designing right here." "There are no jobs in America anyway." "Everyone's coming here." "Booji, when I become a famous Shoe Designer they will call me themselves." "Not only America." "England, France, Russia everyone will call my hero." "Not hero." "Heroine." "Same thing you never let me feel that you were a daughter or son." "Come on, pack my pant shin too." "You're not going anywhere." "I'm going alone." "Enough of your stubbornness." "Won't work anymore." "Come on, pack." "Hello..." "Yes Babu uncle." "Stop stop..." "What do you want?" "Who are you?" "They had taken a water-filter service appointment now they've locked up and left." "Even the bank guys had come they called them home too and disappeared." "We had to give the cheque." "What happened Bilqees?" "They called these poor fellows for Aquaguard servicing and have now disappeared." "If they're not around, why don't you do my servicing." "Sure aunty, but at least tell us where they have gone?" "We have to write in our report." "Or we'll lose our jobs." "How will our wives and kids celebrate Diwali?" "They left with luggage...out of town!" "Where airport?" "Airport they can't afford." "They've gone to the station." "Let's go" "Hey good for nothings..." "at least do our servicing." " I will complain to the company..." " Come on, station" "Why are you making me go round in circles?" " Am I a top?" " Come on, quickly" "This is an auto not aeroplane." " Booji, let's get the tickets" " Yes yes" "Two tickets, Lucknow." "Three tier." "All full." "Only AC 1st class is available." "Eight thousand, one hundred and eighty." "Hurry up, the train will leave in ten minutes." "Take it..." "It's not like we have to save for your dowry." "We'll go in style." "First Class" "Listen...you go that way...yes..." "One packet of chips..." "No, the big one." "Running away?" "Babu Uncle!" "Running away with my money?" "No, didn't you get the cheque?" "Cheque!" "Your neighbour-aunties gave the cheque." "So why did you come this far, you could have said thanks on the phone." "ls this a game?" "ls it?" "Transfer now, withdraw now..." "I was very clear, once the money is transferred into your account..." "I will take everything in cash." "Where's the cash?" " With my father..." " Call him then" "No, he's gone to get the tickets and then snacks then magazine...then pillow..." "why don't we go to him." "Yes." "Come on." "In case I miss the train let me take the bag, it has my favourite outfit." "Yes, yes..." "Come on." "Such a hassle for nothing..." "Where is your father?" " Just there..." " Come on." "Hey babu, get some tea here" "Hello...yes I'm in a meeting let me get the money from the party first I will get the curtains then..." "Crazy woman, cost me hundred rupees" "The girl is getting away..." "Catch her" "Hey P.T. Usha...stop..." "She hits bad..." "Sorry SOFTY" "Sania..." "Sania..." "Sania..." "How slow are you guys see how fast Gulrez Qadir is running." "Catch her..." "What happened brother, why are you chasing that girl?" "She's running away with my money..." "Your's too?" "You're too?" "How much did she dupe you for?" "Why should I tell you?" "She's made a fool me..." "she's made a fool of you, ...we are in the same team brother!" "Sania..." "Sania come down..." "Taru!" "You've made a fool of me." "Get down now..." "Scoundrel..." "You're threatening with a gun..." "You'll hit Babu bhai..." "You'll insult him in front of everyone..." " Catch him Rafiq..." " Who are you?" "Catch him...break his head..." "Hey, not with the can..." "Hey wrestler..." "let go of my boys..." "Hey..." "Ungrateful girl, you're hitting me?" "Sorry... sorry" "Tarn..." "Tarn..." "Tarn..." "Enough of your drama return my money..." "Don't come forward you bully..." "Just stop there..." "Give my money..." " The police is here Babu bhai!" " Who invited these pests?" "Please give my money, please give it." "Uncle, I gave you the cheque." "You will get the entire amount." " Come on, run!" " Will I make a curry of the cheque?" "I will suffer a huge loss my girl..." "Damn the money Babu bhai let's get out of here...now!" "Run...run..." "Hey..." "My money..." "My money..." " Give me the bag..." " Here, take your money..." "Leave me alone...and never call me a cheat again!" "Since the time I've come you haven't shut up for a second..." "Wherever I go, I hear you calling me a cheat." "Yes I cheated you!" "All my life I have faced dowry seeking boys who have insulted me and Booji" "I'm a topper." "But there's no value of my mind." "They hear fifteen lakhs dowry and reject me" "You know how many times I've been rejected?" "I couldn't bear the insult anymore that's why I decided never to marry." "I don't want any man in my life." "I made this plan to fulfill my dreams." "But you ruined the entire plan." "What was the need to make this relationship for the value of my laughter, my beauty my mind, my friendship?" "Why are you so strange?" "You never went to college, you speak in broken English." "You eat paan, you burp, you wear horrible shins but yet I started liking you for your sweetness." "I couldn't hurt you and go to America." "That's why I was coming to return your money." "It's eighty lakhs." "You can count..." "Hey Taru, here..." "Hey!" "Well done Taru, you caught the girl." "Look what I caught?" "Leave him..." "Leave him..." "Excuse me." "What do you mean 'see what I caught'?" "He's my father, not a thief." "Taru, whatever happened, it was my doing..." "I made the whole plan, it's not Booji's fault." "Please let him go." "What is this commotion?" "Very shrewd criminals they are, both father and daughter..." "They duped my client of eighty lakhs it's in the bag... ls this correct uncle?" "Yes" "Come on then, to the police station" "Just wait and watch now Tarn..." "I will get the maximum sentence for her..." "So that all the girls of India will learn a lesson that they shouldn't dare trick innocent guys into 498a." "If girls trick guys, they are low-life but boys keep demanding dowry, they are still considered innocent." "No." "You please leave..." "Sorry." "Made us run for nothing..." "Have you gone mad Taru?" "You come here..." "What?" " If you want to say something..." " Will you shut up for a minute?" "Can I say something?" "I understood everything else but what did you say in the middle of that long speech you started liking me?" "What?" "Yes..." "Just liking?" "I fell in love with you..." "Since I've returned from Lucknow," "I just can't forget the flavours of your talk, of your food of the fun I had with you..." "I have gotten addicted to your flavours." "So the butcher has fallen in love with the goat?" "You are that good..." "Why can't all other men be normal like you..." "Then there wouldn't be any problem." "There would have been a big problem." "Then you wouldn't have come to Lucknow." "Sania would have become somebody else's in Hyderabad." "Gulrez" "Oh yes, Gulrez." "So you have forgiven me?" "What to do, you are that good." "You have tricked me by feeding kheer but I still want to love you so very much." "Gullu..." "You hurt me badly." " You won't again?" " No, no, never ever." "Sorry." "What did I do to deserve you?" "Something wonderful my dear..." "that's why you got my Gullu." "Gullu-Taru, perfect couple." "Now we will have a real wedding." "Enough of fooling around, shall we begin?" "Gulrez dear..." "Yes..." "Tariq Haider, I mean Taru Haider, son of Farooq Haider." "Do you accept me, Gulrez Qadir, daughter of Abdul Qadir?" "You accept without a single penny of dowry?" "Not once, a thousand times." "Say you accept son." "I accept..." "Do you accept me Tariq Haider, son of Farooq Haider?" "I accept you." "Amju!" "The girl's father is ready to help us." "Full help..." "One crore." "Say thank you..." "Father, I'm not an item for you to sell and him to buy." "I don't want to go to America with someone's help..." "So sir, thanks but no thanks." "I'm sorry..." "Amjad!" " Have you lost your mind?" "Yes, I have..." "I wish I had lost it sooner." "Advertised love, is for strangers." "Tested love, is for brave-hearts." "Come let's wave the flag of our crazy love." "Bright and bold and beautiful." "Let's colour love in our colours." "Bright and bold and beautiful." "Pull the curtains," "Lift the veils," "Banish the bashfulness of love." "Let's make the whole world speak," "Let's change the language of love." "Calculated love is for the corrupt." "Committed love is for the brave-hearts." "With fun, with fervour," "Come let's light the fireworks of love." "Bright and bold and beautiful." "Let's colour love in our colours." "Bright and bold and beautiful." "Everyone eyes your figure," "But I'm crazy about your brains." "Every guy is wild for your looks," "But I'm sold on your thinking." "Body-beauty kind of love, is for the phonies." "Tuning-setting kind of love is for the exceptional." "Boldly, Loudly," "Come let's blow the bugle of love." "Bright and bold and beautiful." "Let's colour love in our colours." "Bright and bold and beautiful."