"We should never have children together, Lo." "Oh, agreed." "What a nightmare!" "What does your Mom think we're doing while she's at her yoga retreat?" "Um, I told her you guys were coming over to work on a project." "The project of beautification." "Okay, ladies, choose your color." "Yes!" "Nachos!" "I hope you brought salsa." "They're for facemasks." "Give me five, and I'll return with something that'll change your pores forever." "Remember how I said Jonah had some play thing tonight?" "Uh, no..." "Well, it got canceled." "So he's gonna come over now." "My mom's super strict about him being here." "Is that okay?" "Yeah, only if Tiny can come, too." "I've been cramming for this math test all week, and we haven't been able to spend any time together." "Except, what about..." "Lola." "I don't think she'll mind." "I mean, the more the merrier, right?" "That needs salt and lime." "It's for our faces." "We're finally having a girls' night." "Free of Shay and Frankie's pesky boyfriends." "Oh, no." "I'm sorry." " For what?" " Mentioning boyfriends." " Since mine's in a coma?" " Well, yeah." "No, don't apologize." "It's always nice to talk to you." "You never do the pity voice with me." "You know, the..." ""How you doing?"" "Oh, people did that all the time when my Mom left." ""I'm so sorry."" "So what else is on the agenda for tonight?" "Oh, mani-pedis, the rom-com catalog of Kate Hudson, and three tubs of candy cane ice cream that I've been hoarding since Christmas." "We don't get to do this very often anymore." "I want it to be awesome." "Well, I'm going to go work on the play." "If girls' night turns out to be a bust, you should come visit." "It won't, but thanks." "I'll be in my bedroom." "What are you guys doing here?" "Girls' night!" "Baaz found out your sister's having her friends over and wants to mack on Lola." "She's an idiot." "What are you talking about?" "Her makeup tutorials are illuminating." "Okay, you guys gotta go." "Yael is coming over." "Of course she is." "I can't believe your Mom buys you all these designer clothes, and you just wear that same weird hoodie every day." "I like my hoodie." "Can you go now?" "It wouldn't hurt to take a little bit of pride in your appearance." "I, for example, ironed these chinos myself." "Ooh, can I have these?" "Sure, if you leave." "These are way too big." "You know what they say." "Big feet..." "I don't see how that could be true from a biological perspective." "We've been over this, Baaz." "Lots of guys with micropenises go on to live rich and fulfilling lives." " My feet are bigger than Vijay's." " Nuh-uh." "Size 12, baby." "Okay, we're putting this rumor to rest, once and for all." "How are we gonna do that?" "We'll measure." "No way." "Yael's coming over." "Right." "Because now that you've got a girlfriend, you have no time for the important stuff." "Oh, I get it." "He's scared he'll lose." "Did you know that since you started dating Yael, you've bailed on us exactly seven times?" "That's true, bee-tee-dubs." "Fine." "I'll cancel with Yael." "Excellent." "May the biggest man win." "Can you see this pimple on my chin?" "Uh, now that you pointed it out, yes." "But why're you so worried?" "It's not like it's your first date." "Well, things have been really great between us lately." " I just want tonight to be..." " Pimple free?" "Special." "Mom's away, we've been dating for a while..." "I think I might be ready." " To have sex?" " I'm not doing anything for sure." "I'm just... keeping an open mind." "You're making your judgy face." "Look, you were all worried about him and Grace, like, four seconds ago." "Yeah, but that was totally in my head." "I don't think you should do it just because Jonah expects it." "Well, he's never pressured me." "Not once." "This is what I want." " Haven't you ever thought about it?" " Yeah, but, like, not for real." " And Tiny's okay with that?" " Tiny is not like other boys." "He's not obsessed with... all that stuff." "I read that boys think about it every six seconds." "All boys?" "Whoo!" "Jonah's here!" "Vijay's right." "We have to measure from the base." "But then they're gonna be shorter." "If we start from anywhere else, the measurements will be skewed by the size of the other bits." "Someone's an expert." "Just paid attention in geometry." "You blew me off to do homework?" "I thought you told her not to come." "Yeah, he did." "Because he's "deathly ill."" "You know what?" "You don't deserve my mother's Jewish penicillin." "We, uh... we were, uh, actually just, uh, having a guys' night." "What could you be doing that I can't be around for?" " I'm waiting." " We were gonna watch porn." "What kind?" "Uh, your kind?" "Or, um, your kind?" "All of them." "Sounds good." "Load it up." "Why did you change?" "Kate Hudson doesn't care what you wear." " Well..." " Look who's here." "What is he doing here?" " You didn't tell her?" " Tell me what?" "Hey!" "Where the party at?" "Nice." "We may have invited Jonah and Tiny." "With the rest of the school, apparently." " Hey, baby." " What's happening?" "Hey." "What are they doing here?" "Nice to see you, too." "Hanging out?" "Well, I guess I thought..." "It'd be you and me?" "Don't worry." "I'm sure we can find some alone time later." "Hmm?" "Oh, yeah." "Sure." "Right." "Sounds great." "Should we have some actual fun or what?" "So much for girls' night." "Hey, and then, if you've done the thing, you drink." "Uh, what if we don't drink?" "Then you can take a sip of your ginger ale." "Okay." "Okay, I'll start." " Never have I ever had sex." " Ooh." "Ooh!" "Okay, Jonah." "Okay." "Never have I ever... hooked up in a pool." "Frankie, your turn." "Uh, never have I ever made out in a scuzzy roadside motel." "Yeah, that was fun." "Put that on our to-do list." "Do you wanna get outta here?" "Yeah." "Have fun, you two." "Okay." "Who's next?" "Oh, yeah!" "Oh, yes!" "No wonder women do ridiculous things to their bodies if they think that this is what men want." " Maybe we should turn it off." " No!" "There is no way that is comfortable for her." "As usual, it's all about the guy's pleasure." "Okay." "We weren't even really gonna watch... this." "Right now doesn't seem like the best time to be honest." "They made me tell you not to come because we were gonna..." " Don't do it!" " measure our penises." "So..." "Uh, I mean, go for it." "I..." "I don't wanna stand in the way of scientific exploration." "What?" "No." "Oh, come on." "Don't you need somebody to adjudicate?" "Turning into..." "Never..." "Never have I ever wanted to hook up with the person on my right." "Mmm." " Come on." "Look at us." "Tiny, come on!" " I always thought you guys would make a cute couple." "All right." "Shay." "Um, never have I ever fooled around with someone I wasn't in love with." "Oh, yeah, right." " What about that time with that girl..." " Hey!" "Oh!" "Oh, sorry." "Not in front of the girlfriend." " Don't listen to him." " No, what's that about?" "Oh." "Things are gonna get interesting." " Uh..." "Lola." " Okay." "Um..." "Never have I ever ditched my best friend for my boyfriend, who I stole from her anyway." "Drink up, Shay." "'Cause all you wanna do is talk about your boyfriend," " so let's talk about him." " Fine." "Never have I ever dated someone, even though I knew my friend liked him first." "For the gazillionth time, you said it was okay." "Oh, you just don't like it that you're single and I'm not." "Please, as if." "Okay, maybe we should just call it quits." "Um, let's play a new game." "How about truth or dare?" "Tiny, truth or dare?" "Uh... dare." "I dare you to spend seven minutes in heaven with Shay." "Seven minutes alone with my girl?" "No problem." "Uh, sorry." "I'm claustrophobic." "Okay, then." "Lola." "What?" "No!" "Whoa." "Um, I don't think that's a good idea." "You don't trust your man, Shay?" "You got yourself a jealous one there, Tiny." " Hey, guys." "Lay off." " No, you know what?" "Go ahead." " It's no big deal, right?" " Right." "Okay." "Um..." "Here's what we're gonna do." "Everybody is gonna take a picture of themselves while holding a ruler." "Then you're gonna send them to me and I'll declare a winner." "Don't worry." "I'm not gonna screen cap them." "So you're going to look at pictures of my friends' junk?" "Don't be such a prude." "Where can I find a ruler?" "Downstairs in the study." "Dude!" "She hasn't even seen my... whatever in real life yet." "You're the one who told her what we were going to do." "That's only because you made us seem like a bunch of pervs by saying we were gonna watch porn." "And the truth was better how?" "You think you're so much better than me." "With your hair and your girlfriend." " You're not even allowed to date." " You have no idea how lucky you are." "Lucky?" "Seriously?" "You have all this money, and a girlfriend, and you take it all for granted." "All right, who's first?" "Only three and a half minutes to go, Shay." "Hang in there." "It's almost over." "I'm fine." "Thanks, though." "You wouldn't have to worry if you were meeting Tiny's needs." "What?" "It's no secret she's uptight." "She's barely even touched her drink." "Okay, maybe ease off a little bit." "She thinks she's so much better than me just because she won't let her boyfriend touch her." "We both get straight A's, you know." "I just like having more fun." "Right, 'cause it's so much fun being easy." " Whoa, girl-on-girl crime." " No, I'm just..." "I don't understand why everyone is so obsessed with sex." "Well, maybe you should run along and leave the grown-ups alone." "Fine." "Tired of these stupid games, anyway." "Whoa, what are you doing?" "I thought we could... you know..." "Frankie..." "My mom's not gonna be back until tomorrow." "Yeah, that's not the issue." "You've had sex with other girls." "Yeah." "But that doesn't mean it's right for us." "Straight edge doesn't mean celibate." "I googled it." "It's not because I'm straight edge." "Is it because of Grace?" "Oh, my God." "You guys have been spending a lot of time together." "Grace and I are just friends." "I promise." "So it's just that you don't want to do it with me." "No." "No, Frankie, back when I was doing it, I wasn't a good guy." "And I don't wanna rush things and risk ruining what we have." "Yeah." "All right." "Message received." " Frankie..." " No." "I get it." " No, Frankie, there's a fire!" " Oh, crap!" "Frankie!" "You okay?" "Okay, um..." "I think I should go." "Can we talk later?" "I think I need a little space." " That's my foot." " Sorry." "Hold on." " Is there something wrong with me?" " What?" "I've always thought I was pretty nice to spend time with." "Well, you are." "Except Shay and Frankie both invited their boyfriends just to get out of girls' night." "Quality time is important for couples." "And it's not for friends?" " I'm everyone's second choice." " That's crazy." "You're a great girl." "So great you dumped me for my best friend?" "I am sorry about that." "We used to have so much fun together." "Especially our snack parties." "Remember the barbecue chip incident?" "You're ridiculous." "And that's what makes you awesome." "There's got to be, what, at least one guy out there who'll appreciate that." "You're right." "There is." "Time's up, you two." "Did you kiss?" " What?" " I would never do that to you." "Guess she'll give you what I won't." "Okay." "I'm pretty sure I should be offended by that, so I am." "Where are you going?" " She was upset." "I hugged her." " I'm sorry if I'm not enough for you." " What are you talking about?" " You drank!" "I was sitting to your right!" "It's not a crime to want to hook up with my girlfriend." "So, you do want sex." "You know, I thought you were different." "So you only like me when I'm the perfect science student?" "But this isn't you." "Don't tell me who I am!" "Wait!" "Hey, do you feel better?" "I lit my room on fire." "I thought guys were supposed to want sex all the time." "Do we have to talk about this?" "Okay, fine." "Maybe he has herpes." "Or I'm repulsive and he hates me." "Some guys get weird about the whole virginity thing." "They think that if they're your first, then you'll get all... clingy." "Hmm, Jonah's not like that." "I don't think." "Well, hey... there is an upside." "Which is?" "You didn't burn the house down." "No matter what happens here today, let's promise not to let it get in the way of our friendship." "Can I talk to you for a second?" "You don't have to worry." "You won by, like, a lot." "That's exactly why I'm worried." "Don't tell me you're embarrassed." "But we haven't even..." "You know..." "Besides, if you tell them I won, they're just gonna think you're saying that because you're my girlfriend." "That's all I am now?" "Your girlfriend?" " No, no!" "It's just..." " Before, we used to hang out all the time." "Now that we're dating, I'm..." "I'm in some other category." "It's not like I have a bunch of other people that I can go hang out with." "I know." "It's just... hard to know when you're my friend and when you're my girlfriend." "I can be both." "I should be both." "Yes, absolutely." "But, still..." "You want me to lie about who won?" "He could really use this." "He's, like..." "He's jealous of me or something." "I don't get it, but he is." "I get it." "You're awesome." "Okay, fine." "I'll do it." "But you owe me." "Okay, I have the results." "And... the winner is..." "Baaz." "Yes!" "I knew it!" "USA!" "USA!" "USA!" "USA!" "We've created a monster." "What happened to you?" "I tried to hook up with Jonah and instead I lit my room on fire." "You?" "I slut-shamed Esme, and then drove my boyfriend into a closet with another girl." "Turns out you're right." "All boys are obsessed with sex." "Not Jonah." "I'm sorry you almost died, but I'm kind of glad you didn't do it." "I didn't want to be the only one not having sex." " Guys are the worst." " Seriously." "Mmm." ""I'll be here for you." "But you need to be there for him."" "Is this the first time they meet in the play?" "Yeah." "What do you think?" "It's good, but..." "Never mind." " It's stupid." " No, tell me." "Well, maybe Hope should be a voice at first." "Or else people won't get that she's... more than a person." "You know?" "Yeah." "That's... that's perfect." " Really?" " Yeah." "That's actually what it needs." "Thanks for ditching girls' night to help." "Well, I'm pretty sure I got ditched." "But... you're welcome." "Hey, do you want to play Hope?" "I've been having a really hard time casting the part... but I think you'd be perfect for it." "You're really awesome, Lola." "I don't think that's a good idea." "Why is that?" "Because I like you." "And I tried not to, but I do." "And I'm worried if we spend too much time together... we might do something that will get us both in trouble." "Like what?" "Are you sure you want this?" "Are you thinking about Tristan?" "Was that a weird thing to say?" "Very." " Thought you might be feeling..." " Guilty?" "Yeah." "So... do you?" "Yeah." "But I also feel good." "I never thought my first time would be with someone whose boyfriend's in a coma." "Or with someone who has a boyfriend." "Oh, don't worry." "I'm cool with the bisexual thing." "No... it's not that." "That was your first time?" "Yeah, but it's no big deal." " You say that, but..." " And I mean it." "Okay." "I'm not gonna get all clingy just because you took my precious flower." "Okay... because we... we can't..." "Date?" "I know." "Let's just enjoy... whatever this is." "Okay?" "Yeah, I'd like that." " Where were you all night?" " Um, I fell asleep in the guest room." "Look, I'm sorry I freaked out." "I was just being crazy and insecure." "I'm sorry, too." "I shouldn't have gone into that closet with Tiny." "And we never did it when we were together, in case you thought we did." "But you drank." "Was it someone else?" "No..." "I guess I thought that if you thought that we did it, then I could feel like my relationship with him was important." "Don't laugh." "No, it's just..." "I mean, I've been worried about living up to you." "But if you didn't, that's great." "That means none of us are doing it." "Only you would find that exciting, Shay." "You know what, it is probably for the best anyway." "Sex just complicates things." "Only if you let it." "So girls' night wasn't a total bust." "Yeah." "How about post-pancake pedicures?" " Sound good, Lo?" " Uh, yeah." "Totally."