" I'm not career oriented." " Sure." "If I were a wife, I would be called a housewife." "I'm good at doing this." "I take care of the house." "Just because we're adjoined at one little part of our bodies... doesn't mean we're same person." "We're two separate people with two separate identities." "We can come very close to each other." "Or we can go way apart from each other." "No!" "No!" "No!" "Of course I've dated." " I'm normal." " Of course." "This is really sad." "No." "This shit's a trip if you ask me." "No." "The fact that this woman has 150 pounds... of human attached to her head." "And she probably has more sex than I do." "It's an automatic two-fer." "You think one really just sits there playing solitaire... while the other one's getting busy?" "I obviously didn't think that one through." "Where you going?" "I'm taking Jane to dinner." "Man, you should just donate that food to the homeless." "You'd get a lot more satisfaction that way." "This may be hard to comprehend, Lorenzo... but some guys have to actually work for a female's affection." "And that includes paying for dinner." "It's a labor of love." "Jane's a sweatshop." "If she were to be told today that she would get... a million dollars to do a naughty scene... she would not do it." "Come on." "She's not exploiting me." "If you went to college and took psych." "I took psychology." "They say that once you get 26 you are over the hill." "Woman, you can wait right here." "Finna commence the hostile takeover of all y'all dividends!" "Where's Simon?" "Hell no!" "Don't tell me I'm going all in with just you two motherfuckers again!" "Don't tell me he's doing the same old same old with... that bitch!" "So, Annette said she saw Max eating sushi... with one of his groupies last night." "Firemen have groupies?" "Yeah, they're called firehoes." "And I know this new one is just trying to backdraft off... my relationship problems with Max to hook up with him." "You and Max broke up over a year ago." " I ended it." " It was my decision." "It's just been so hard trying to new guys in the city." "I mean the selection is so stale." "And between all the suits, skaters, and indie boys... there's just not much for a girl to get worked up about." "Maybe you should lower your standards." "Simon, he got that scientist intellectual shine to him, right." "I mean his cerebellum be swelling and all, but he need to do some research on his own self." "That girl got his brain discombobulated, blood." "So are you seeing anyone?" "No, not right now." "Well, why not?" "How's the boy supposed to get shot down if he just sits there idolizing?" "Hey, man, why do you want your boy to crash and burn?" " Make a move and move on." " That's all I'm saying." "Trust me, I got Simon's back." "Like a chiropractor!" "Yeah, but how do you know Jane is going to shut him down?" "I just know." "Call me." "Man, this how players smoke, all right?" "It's hard to put 'em on the line for a woman." "I did, and you all know what happened to me." "Here we go again." "Yeah man, but look how great you're doing now." "You're deejaying again." "You even you rushed that frat." "Yeah dog." "Look." "Look." "Pop the collar." "Hey yo." "I fold." "There ain't no flop yet, man." "I got pocket rockets!" "I thought you kids wanted to play cards!" "I didn't know you wanted to hold each other's nuts... and love each other!" "This is why you guys fuck fat chicks!" "Fools!" "You coming?" "I am the man right now!" "Somebody tell me I am the man." "You're the man." "Trese." "Just checking up on my babies." "You know, Simon, it's really sad to see... someone so desperate for validation." "Simon, did you know that men and mice... are sixty percent genetically identical?" "Yes I did." "They grow up so fast." "The little ones reach their sexual maturity after just one month." "After that they need to be separated." "Because if you don't... the brothers will start mating with their sisters." "They don't care." "They just give in to their biological need to reproduce." "It's kind of what men do when they interact with women." "Maybe it's in your genes." "My roommate set me up with this guy tonight." "You really let someone fix you up?" "Wow, it's so sad to see someone so desperate for affection." "Yeah, well, this guy didn't see tonight as a chance to meet." "For him it was just an opportunity to mate." "A man's brain is 3000 times bigger than that of a mouse... and yet it works exactly the same." "You're a genius, Trese." "Well, I'm an expert at categorizing mice which means I can do pretty much the same with men." "Do you have me categorized?" "Well, from my observation... you are in the same category as the guy I got fixed up with." "And what's that?" "Guys who are getting no action tonight." "It's not by circumstance." "I'm here by choice." "Bye Simon." "I'm here of my own free will!" "Trese, don't tell me you cut out of another date... to write one of your poems." "I thought we decided you needed to socialize more." "When creativity hits you just have to roll with it." "Is this another one about the racist, misogynistic, exploitative, capitalistic society that we live in?" " The struggle continues." " Let me see that." "Give it back!" ""I am I am I am nothing"." ""Not a color." "Not a curve"." ""Kissed all the girls but me"." "Wait." "I'm not finished." ""And then I turned around and God her hair was on fire"." ""She walks alone." "You tell me I am not that she"." ""I say I am, I am, I am"." " So who's the guy?" " There is no guy!" "Really?" "There's no guy involved?" "Okay I lied." "There is a guy." "I knew it." " Name." " Simon." "Story." "Girl likes boy." "Boy likes someone else." "The end." "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" " Amen!" " Amen." "Coach!" "I'm sorry I missed that last shot." "Oh, don't blame yourself." "It's god's fault." "Huh?" "Um, don't we thank Him when we win?" "Yeah." "Okay, well... if he gets the credit when things go right... shouldn't he take the blame when things don't work out for us?" "Okay, why don'tyou just go reflect on that?" "Simon!" "Another late night, eh?" "You've got to pace yourself." "You're going to be here for a while." "You see that, Gilly?" "In two more months... my signature will be accompanied with the letters P-H-D, my friend." "You know, I spent the best years of my life fondling a microscope... and there are two things that kept me from going insane." "One of them is knowing that every grad student... is going to share the same shitty existence as me." "So you can't tell me you're going to be out of here in three years." "You haven't even paid your dues yet." "Two years." "Whatever." "What's the other thing that keeps you from going crazy?" "Her." "Trese?" " You ever notice her?" " No." "No?" "I got your test tube right here." "Hey." "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "What are you doing?" " What up Si Guy?" " What're you doing here?" "Check it!" "Covonne's spinning at a party this Saturday." "Frat house!" "Now what we need to do is we gotta start rounding some people up." "Hey, is it cool if I come?" " Damn girl!" "Game on!" " Oh hell no!" "Game paused!" "Hey guys!" " Harlen!" " Yo, what's happening, man?" "You're blowing up all atomic like there, dude." "Yeah, you heard of the afro?" "Well, this is the anglo." "You like?" "You can bounce a quarter off this shit." "It's great!" "Damn, I gotta get me one of those!" "Shit cost me two bills." "You like it?" "It makes a statement." "Yeah, it says, "Since I can't hold a permanent job, keep a permanent girlfriend"..." ""well then, fuck it!"" ""At least I can give my hair a permanent"." "And if I don't like it, it will wear off in a week and a half." " That's good." " Word." "I hopeyou don't mind, I brought my boy Riles." " That's fine." " Take it easy." "I gotta go make my move." "He's nice." "You think that would look good on me, man?" "Right on top of the dome and all." "Yo, howyou be activating that?" "Is that top made out of mesh?" "Looks like oranges in socks." "Happening party." "I never come to a party empty-handed." "The hell is this?" "Page 43." "Last year's draft." "Twelfth round." "Fullback." "Grant Riley aka." "Riles." "Right there." "That's me." "Autographed." "Wow." "So you actually play professional ball?" "Well, not since I got cut..." "But I'll be back on thefield, and you guys will be, like, "I know that dude." "Whoo!"" "You want one too?" "I got more in the car." " Yeah, I'm good." "Thank you." " You sure?" " We'll share it." " Thank you." "Who brings this to a party?" "Score!" " Hey!" " Hey!" "Who's the big guy?" "His name is Riles." "He's some meathead that came with Harlen." " What do you have to drink?" " Right here." "You're the only guy that I know... that carries a mirror around in his front pocket." "That's so you can see yourself anytime." "I know." "It's comforting." " Thanks." " Uh, yeah." "You're welcome." "Yo." "It's the revolutionist party leader himself." "What?" "Not enough people?" "Look, man, we did what we could on short notice." "All right?" "You brought alcohol!" "Yeah I brought alcohol, and I had to buy it myself." "What kind of fraternity doesn't have something to sip on?" "It's not that type of fraternity!" "What type of frat house is it?" "It's a House of God!" "What have you done, man?" "House of what?" "Lorenzo?" "Anita." "You're the last person I'd expect to see here." "Yeah well, you know... ain't no party like a Holy Ghost party, right?" "So what did you do in a past life to end up here?" "This is Paul's old stomping grounds." "He was Aota-Lota-Mu's first president." " Oooh..." " Paul!" "Lorenzo." "Lorenzo." "Paul." " Hey." " Whoa!" "Hey, tiger!" " Lorenzo." " Yeah." "Are you here to embrace Christianity?" "Good..." "Can you believe this turnout, huh?" "I mean it's... uh, it's of biblical proportions." "I knew it was only a matter of time before... people began to accept the word of our savior." "I'm glad you're here." "I'll get you a fruit punch." "No, I'm getting you fruit punch." "Yeah, praise the Lord." "After me, you settled for the founding father of this?" "Oh!" "Nerd alert!" "What?" "Hello!" "Come on now!" "If you can shake it in the club, you can shake it for Jesus!" "Now, two of these girls, they used to fight each other... and slap and stomp all the time!" "Now they're slapping and stomping for the Lord!" "Let's give it up for T-L-L!" "The Lord's Ladies!" ""He's got a plan." "I know it's hard to understand"." ""You ready to praise him?" "Come on." "So you gotta praise him"." ""When you ask him." "You better thank him"." ""You stick around." "He will never let you down"." "Mother of Jesus." "Joseph, baby, momma." "That's enough." " Stop it!" "Stop it!" " What're you doing?" "You look like a fucking retard!" "You joined a fucking cult?" "No, it's not a cult!" "I need some direction in my life." "And don't try to make this a religious thing." "Simon coaches basketball at a Catholic school." "He's not even Catholic, and you're not on his case about that!" "Simon's just doing that to impress Jane." "He's not looking for a path to salvation." "He's looking for a path into her pants!" "This isn't about that girl that broke up with you." "Is it?" "No." "I don't know." "Hey!" "Hey." "I feel you, man." "I do." "I really, really do." "But do you really think, that God is gonna get you get laid?" "I don't know what to do anymore, man." "I think you do." "This shit right here is dangerous!" "This shit right here will fuck you up!" "This shit right here is not to be touched!" "But still the party people just can't get enough!" "This is my song!" "Come here girl!" "You know you want to freak me!" "What actually got me first noticed by the big boys was" "I actually have an extra muscle in my right arm." "Shut your mouth!" "Yeah." "Scientists said it was some kind of deformity but what do they know?" " Yeah." "Nothing." " Let me get you something to drink." " Hey!" " Hey!" "Gilly mentioned a party." "I thought I'd just come and make an appearance." " Are you having a good time?" " Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Except this beefy guy kept trying to talk to me." "I couldn't hear what he was saying but I think he was trying to sell me a magazine subscription." "She's beautiful." "Oh, yeah." "It's not like that." "That's Jane." "We're just friends." " So have a good time." " Yeah." "You too." "So I see you met Riles." "Oh yeah." "He is so yolked." "Did you know he was in Sports lllustrated?" "Yeah." "Did I ever mention that I had two papers published in JAM?" "Journal of American Medicine?" "Yeah, but Sports lllustrated, that's like a real magazine." "Lord have mercy!" "Moses could not create commandments for the things I want to do to you." "Take me to Sunday School, girl!" "I don't know what Jane saw in that Riles guy anyway." "I mean, minus everything that was anabolically enhanced." "Come on!" "So he's probably not hung like a triceratops, right?" "But more than likely just as dumb." "Triceratops had a very small brain to body ratio." "You know what Jane's problem is?" "You know why she wastes her time on all these self-destructive relationships?" "It's because she's like this Sports lllustrated, she has a ton of issues!" "Do you always have to think like a fucking scientist?" "You can't keep coming up with theories to explain... everything that happens in your life." "You want to know why Jane isn't with you?" "It's because she doesn't want to be." "That's it." "Leave it alone." "Okay, first of all." "I am a scientist." "And secondly, I'll promise to stow my baggage as long as you promise to handle yours." "I don't really need any help." "I'm not really hurting for women." "That's weird, because we're sitting at a train station in the rain waiting for a girl that you met in a chat room." "Oh yeah, a chat room." "Have you actually seen this girl in person?" "What are you doing?" "You just bailed, and she came all the way out here to see you." "You're better than that, Lorenzo." " Stop the car." " What?" "Just let me out!" "What are you doing here?" "I thought we agreed you wouldn't come over like this." "I knew I shouldn't have said anything to you at that party." "Just so you know, I am not going to break up with Paul to go out with you again." " Well, what about..." " Oh no!" "I am not going to become one of your poke pals either." "What do you see in this afterbirth anyway?" "You know it's "born again"." "And Paul has goals and ambitions." "I have those things too." "Really?" "Lorenzo, what do you wanna do with your life?" "I wanna eat like a horse, drink like a fish, and party..." "Party like a rock star." "You always say that." "That's something a 16 year-old would say." "It's like you're eternally and forever, forever, ever pubescent." "Okay?" "And I just can't be with somebody like that." "Oh, okay, alright, so the truth comes out." "You broke up with me because... you think I'm not good enough for you." "No, that's not the truth." "Honestly, I broke up with you before you could hurt me." "You have to admit, you've always had a reputation." "You know what?" "The next time Paul tells you... how how nice you are or how beautiful you are, all he's doing is repeating something a guy with no goals... and a reputation already told you." "Reputation or not, you were always a gentleman to me and..." "I never said goodbye." "You deserved at least that much." "Goodbye, Lorenzo." "So can I feel you up?" "Fucking idiot." "Guess not." " A laundromat?" " Fifth Street Suds." "On top of a dryer." "You ever play a game of "hide the egg roll" with a set of Siamese twins?" "What kind of fucked up Ripley's Believe It or Not backwards country bullshit is that?" "I'm sorry." "Is that a no?" "Drink up." "I know you ain't freaked a freak of nature." "Not yet." "Damn." "Oh sugar!" "Daddy be sprung!" "Who be calling?" "Yo!" "Yo!" "Yellow Fever Hotline!" "This is Jimmy Dog your operator!" "Can you hold for a minute, girl?" "What the fuck is wrong with you?" "I told you!" "Don't be bringing that raspy shit in here!" "Tellin' me when and where we can conversate!" "Usin' up all my peak minutes and shit!" "Siamese twins." "We ain't on no family plan!" "You out of your damn mind!" "This isn't a game, Jimmy!" "I know it's not." "Because with you, I'm scrimmaging." "You see that?" "That's right!" "Gwen and Jimmy are at it again." "Even these don't help." "I don't understand why Gwen puts up with Jimmy's fake-ass ghetto bullshit." "I don't know why you put up with it." "I'm not a black in America but for the love of god." "That's right." "You're not black." "Up until now, Jimmy put the Asian in Caucasian." "I didn't see you get all riled up about that." "Jimmy's not a threat to me." "It's not like the kid's going to inject my ass with syphilis." "Even if he is having an identity crisis" "I don't understand why Gwen would degrade herself to put up with a fuck up like him." "I just don't understand her thought process." "You always want what you can't have." "Love makes you dumb like that." " What now?" " What is wrong with you?" "I got nothing to say to you." "Why don't you sit your ass down like an Asian girl is supposed to?" " We need to talk now!" " You know what I think about that?" " Oh what?" " What's your problem?" "After all Gwen does for you, and this is how you treat her?" "You better lean the fuck back!" "Don't be pressing your luck, Jeopardy Boy." "You about to get scrapped!" " You're not gonna do anything." " Hey, it's all right." "It's all right." "Get this motherfucker off me!" "You're a joke." "Fuck you all!" "I don't need this shit!" "Jimmy, what happened?" "Wiill you talk to me?" "Hello!" "Jimmy!" "What are you doing?" "God!" "Hey, Sugar Tits." "You order food, you kinky bitch?" "Just ignore it, Riles." "Jane!" "Jane!" "You're here late..." "again." "Some plans fell through." "And before you can say anything else, shut up." "Well, I don't have time to talk." "I have to go." "What time is it?" "Five past midnight." "Shit!" "There goes my last bus." "I can walk you home." "Do you want to carry my books too?" "I'm just saying it's late." "A girl walking home alone in the city..." "It's not safe." " Hey you!" " Hey." "It's cold out here." "How's it going?" "It's good." "You just missed the kids." "You know, I think it's sweet what you do for those kids." "I bet you'll make a great dad some day." "Personally, I don't think I could go maternal." "Why?" "I don't know." "Carrying something like this around for nine months?" "Like that's ever coming out of me." "Let's go get some drinks." "There's a new bar in the Mission that I really want to check out." " What about page 43?" " Who?" "Oh, you mean Riles." "Whatever." "He is completely lame." "I would have never guessed." "Do you know what he said to me?" "He said that he liked every muscle in my body especially his." "Can you believe he said that?" "He's classy." "What is it with me and guys, Simon?" "Is there something wrong with me?" "No." "There is nothing wrong with you." "Come console me over cocktails." "I can't." "I actually have a date tonight." "Do I know her?" "No." "You don't." "Okay." " Simon?" " Hey." "Come in." "Um, Simon, this is Vivian, my roommate." "Vivian this is Simon, my lab mate." "Nice to meet you." "The same." "Sorry I didn't call." "I don't have your telephone number." " Did something happen to my mice?" " No." "I don't think so." "I can see you guys are getting ready to go somewhere." "I'll letyou guys go." "Well, tonight is Ladies Night." "Oh." "Sounds exclusive." "Well, once a week, we get together for dinner and after that we do something affordably metropolitan." "I actually have a college buddy." "He and his fiancé have a Date Night once a week." "They say it keeps their relationship kindled." "I don't think what we do is a Date Night, right Vivian?" "Oh, right." "Okay." "Actually, you know, Trese, I'm not really feeling up to it, tonight." " What?" " Hey..." "Simon." "How do you feel about Mexican food?" "We're compatible." "Because Trese here is dying to try this place." "It's not a life or death situation." " I just opened up..." " So Simon, are you in?" "...Zagat's." "You don't have to." "But I'd like to." "Well, you two should get going." "I can hear the dinner stampede." "It was nice meeting you." "Fuck." "See, this is real Mexican food." "I went out with this guy from the Biochemistry Department... for Mexican food once." "He took me to Taco Bell." "Wow." "Yeah." "I can't believe you went out on a date with a researcher." "Why is that so unbelievable?" "They're socially inept." "I mean, look at the guys in the lab." "These guys spend every waking hour in that laboratory working on the same thing over and over until they get it right." "They're like female Olympic gymnasts." "Eventually they stop growing." "They're stunted." "So you think I'm stunted." "No." "You and I are the same." "We're different." "You're not like them." "Why do you say "them" when you talk about the guys in lab?" "I mean, aren't you one of them?" "No." "I go to classes and I work in a lab, but I'm not like them." "Of course, because you are the big fish in a small pond." "After all, you are the man." " What?" " What?" "I just can't believe we haven't met you guys before." "I know!" "We've been downstairs the whole time!" "Simon!" "Come here." "Simon, this is Hazel and this is Whitney." " Hi!" " Hi." "These lovely ladies are our downstairs neighbors." "Not for long." "Our lease is up at the end of the month but we couldn't move out without, like, officially meeting you guys." "Yeah, definitely." "From what we've heard, you guys definitely seem cool." " Definitely." " Really?" "Who've you been talking to?" "It's not like someone came up to us in the hall and was all like, those guys upstairs are hella cool da-da-da-da-da." "Yeah, I mean we can hear like everything that goes on in your apartment." " Everything?" " Everything." "And Simon, that Jane woman is so wrong for you." "I mean, there are so many other women out there." "She definitely doesn't deserve you." "Yeah, definitely." " Thank you." " You're welcome." "You said something about a tour." " So are you gonna give it to me?" " I want it too!" "All right, well, I just remembered I forgot to do something." "So yeah..." "Bye Simon!" "Well, this is the living room and my bedroom is down the hall." "Wanna see it?" " Definitely!" " Definitely!" " Ow!" "My hair is caught!" " Stop moving your head!" " You need to help us." " Please." "I'll be right back." " Oh." "Hey." " Hey." "Oh, yeah." "Vivian isn't feeling too good." "She's been getting sick in the mornings lately." "I think she should take a pregnancy test." "Um, so is this a follow-up visit?" "Yeah, I guess you can say that." "Ok, well, this isn't a dentist's office unless coming back here feels like pulling teeth to you." "No, I was just wondering what you were doing this afternoon." "Vivian is sick." "I can't leave her alone." "Well, what are you doing tonight?" "I'm performing in a Poetry Slam." "It's the semi-finals." "Oh, I didn't know you were into that." "Yeah, I'm into it." "You could give your whole dissertation in haiku." " A voice." "In front of me." " An idiot emerges." "I'm sorry." "Do you always insult things that you aren't familiar with?" "No." "Look, if you sincerely want to be edified show up at 8 at the club around the corner." "Okay." "I will." "I'll show up." "Vivian, I hope you feel better!" "Lock the door when you leave." "Yeah, I know the routine." "So, like you know, Lo wanted me to..." "I mean, I wanted to apologize... for how hard I came at you the other day." "I'm sorry for how hard I came at you the other day." "I was out of line and I apologize as well." "So we Hindu?" "No beef?" "None at all." "Yeah, man." "We're cryogenic." "Yes, you are correct." "We are cryogenic." " There it is!" "Posse's back!" " Come on, let's celebrate!" "This is the Jimmy I like." "When you actually annunciate and speak correctly." "What's wrong with my words?" "I'm flowing." "I got a grill coming in, too, next week." "I'm gonna put it in my mouth." "I'm gonna be hard." "Call Covonne." "I know exactly where we can go." "Let's get some drinks, yo." "A shift of paradigms." "I drop a pair of dimes in the meter." "That's what I'm talking about!" "Oh." "Oh." "Oh." "Talent." "Talent." "Talent." " Trese!" " Hey." "Told you I'd be here." "And I broughtyou your new fans." "Jimmy, Lorenzo, Covonne." "Guys." "Trese." " Vivian." " Vivian." "Hi guys." "Thank you for coming." "Los muchachos on your old block were probably itching' for your quinceañera." "They probably could not wait for you to come of age." "Excuse me." "Do you have a pen?" "Is that your friend?" " No." " I'm friends with those two." " I'm on stage next." "So I'll see you guys later." " Good luck!" " Adios!" "You don't look like you feel well." "Shouldn't you be in bed or something?" "I've seen every one of Trese's performances this year." "That's 36 more than you've been to, bub." "And I'm not about to miss this one." " You're a real classy lady." " You're buying." "This was inspired by the man at that table." "His name is Jimmy." "What?" "Yeah, because I got it like that!" "Having curly hair and yellow skin does not mean that I don't know my black father." "And just because I have to get a tan... doesn't mean that I am confused about my identity." "So no you are not too "black" for me." "You are just ugly." "And being darker than me doesn't give you the right to identify my proper identity just because you are uncomfortable being more negro que la negra." "In the city, I am suddenly Puertoriquena as beautiful men with beautiful voices ask me" "Eres Boriqua?" "Brazilena?" "Dominicana?" "Cubana?" "So I am sorry if what you see confuses you." "If you do not know how to put me in the file folder that can be easily shelved in the census bureau of your brain." "I will not placate you." "So include me when you mention those 7 black people you know." "Because I am not different on account of you feeling I look so." "Me, an item of mystification, not to be confused by your bureaucracy of thought." "I am something higher than race bigger than the color strands of your hair or the tint in your skin." "I am not multicultural." "I am universal." "And that has nothing to do with race." "So let's scramble." "So why are you really here?" "You know when you question everything I do, it makes you you're at your least attractive." "So there are times when you find me attractive?" "Well, you did show up with a cheering section." "There's something to be said for accountability." "Are you saying that you counted on me being here?" "No I a-ccounted for you being here." "Because after I recite this little number I wrote for you" "I will have reached my quota for the night." "You wrote me a poem?" ""555-3242"" "Haiku-d you call me if you don't have my number?" "Get it?" "Haiku." "I get it." "Well, I have to take Viv home." " Do you need some help?" " No, I'm fine." " I love you." " I love you too, honey." "Hey, so what do you think?" " About what?" " About Trese." "Better not fuck that up." "Hey Simon." "This is Jane." "I guess you're not home yet." "I'll be up for awhile." "Cell me." "Bye." "I promise I'll stop treating you like an experiment." "Lately, I've been treating guys like experiments just to prove my hypothesis that all men have questionable motives." "But I promise I won't treat you like one of my guinea pigs." "Thank you." "So what are you going to do for me?" "Um, let's go shoe shopping." "I told you that I was going to stop making generalizations about men and then you go and make one about women?" " What're you talking about?" " Ooh." "Whoa!" "What are you doing?" "We got a security deposit." "This is for Jimmy." "I was pouring out some liquor for my fallen partner." "What happened to Jimmy?" "He pulled a 4-9-0 and got locked up." "Shut up." "Jimmy killed somebody?" "You need to revisit the teachings of the good Dr. Dre." "That's a 1-8-7." "What's a 4-9-0?" "Shoplifting." "Jimmy's boys were barbecuing." "He gaffled some meat." " Jimmy's an idiot." " Yeah." "Clean that up!" "Jimmy?" "What happened to you?" "Prison has been known to change a man." "I heard you were in a holding cell for two hours." "I did a lot of thinking when I was serving time." "Gwen, you are the best thing to ever happen to me but I wanted to run the streets." "But all I ended up doing was running the streets." "What makes you think I want anything to do with a washed up ex-con?" "You think a dye job and a wardrobe change are going to make up for all the times you wronged me?" "Wait, Gwen." "Please." "Just give me a chance." " Are you really gonna treat me right?" " Yeah." "And I'm your girlfriend." "Not your bitch." "Maybe just around the boys, you know, so they don't think I went soft." "Let's get one thing straight here, Hamburglar." "You're the one standing here begging me to take you back." "Wait a minute." "What are you saying?" "Now that makes me your...?" "Most def." " Oh my god." " You are so funny." "If that guy weren't my boss, I'd throw him down aflight of stairs." " Where should we go?" " Yo, Gwen!" " Jimmy?" "This is..." " Stephen." "But it's spelled with a P-H." "There are people who still mispronounce it and call me Stefan." "So I just tell everyone to call me Steve." "It lessens the complication." "I'm Jimmy." "That's short for Gwen's boyfriend." "Stephen is a consultant with the firm." "And he and I were going to catch a Happy Hour and discuss a project." "Sounds good." "Where're we going?" "Stephen just bought a building in North Beach." "I dabble in real estate." "It generates income." "Allows me to pursue my true calling, music." "Oh yeah?" "What's the name of your band?" "The San Francisco Symphony." "Excuse me." "I have to make a "vone" call." " Hello." " Anita, it's Lorenzo." "Yeah, you've got the wrong number." " He's over there isn't he?" " I think you have the wrong number." "So are you going to do some Bible thumping tonight?" "Hello." "Hey Raylene." "Listen, I'm kinda hungry." "Why don'tyou pick up some Chinese food and come over?" "I can't." "My boyfriend's here." "Okay, wait for him fall asleep." "Then come over and tuck me in." "I don't know, Lorenzo." "Just call me some other time." "What are you doing?" " Drive." " What?" "I don't want to drive all the way home." "I just had a little too much to drink." " Get off me!" " Get off me!" "Just drive." "I'd drive for you." "Great night." "Had a blast." "Hey Lorenzo, you're awesome." " Shut up." " Give me a cigarette." "No!" " Good morning Lorenzo." " Simon's at the lab." "Doyou want some cereal?" "You want to talk, huh?" "And you probably want me to give you some dirt on Simon." "Not at all." "I just want to get to know my boyfriend's best friend." "I don't want you to know me as just "Simon's girlfriend"." "Okay, maybe I do want some inside information." "Did Simon ever tell you he paid for college with..." " the money he won on Teen Jeopardy?" " He never mentioned it." "That's our boy, Simon." "He doesn't like to whip out the big brain too early in a relationship." "Does Simon really think that he'll scare me off with his intellect?" "We attend the same institution." "We're equals." "Yeah, if you think so." "I can't believe you just said that." "Women always have the advantage over men in relationships." "It's up to you if you want to take it or if you want to get taken." "If Simon is so afraid of chasing women away with the size of his cranium then why would he display it on national television for the female populous to see?" "He didn't really want to." "It's a long story." "In high school, there was this girl, Meredith Rolan." "Regally blonde." "Her head was underneath every plastic tiara." "And Simon was royally sprung." "He tutored her after school." "Meredith was dating Neal Culver, a big timer on campus." "The guy had superstar status and he didn't even play a sport." "He was in drama?" "One day at lunch, the word's out." "Simon's screwing around with Meredith." "He's dead." "Period." "History." "Final period, chemistry." "Everybody knew how Neal would react." " Explosively?" " Yeah." "You know how when you take a bottle, put dry ice in it, fill it water and cap it carbon dioxide is formed, and the pressure causes the bottle to blow the hell up." "Simon tried to show me that once in high school." "Like chemistry could be a blast or something like that." "It didn't really matter." "I still flunked." "You know, that's the one thing I remember from chemistry." "Anyway, right before the final bell, Simon's locker blows up." "The cops and bomb squad swoop in and they evacuated everybody." "They find pieces of plastic and dry ice from the chemistry lab." " So there was no fight that day." " No, not ever." "Simon got kicked out of school the next day." "Simon was expelled?" "The school was in the burbs." "Simon kinda kept to himself." "Maybe he wore a little too much black." "I don't know." "Anyway, he lost his scholarship." "Oh, so that's why he had to go~ on Jeopardy." "To pay for college." "Yeah, all because I put that bottle in his locker." " I don't get it." " My contents were under pressure!" "I was the one screwing around with Meredith, not Simon." "She told Neal it was Simon just to cover my ass." "She didn't give a shit about him." "And to this day, I still haven't told him." "I want to." "I went over to his house the first day after school." "And I couldn't do it." "And I kept going over there every day." "I don't know." "We just became best friends." "But you were just a kid." "I've never felt like I've been as good a friend to Simon as he's been to me." "So, I got a job." "Congratulations!" "You're a productive member of society again." " You can go get your car fixed." " Actually, I sold the Impala." "But I loved... but you loved that car." "I needed the money to move out of the folks' place, you know?" "Yeah, I guess that's important." "Paying rent is so fiscally stupid on so many levels!" "You can't afford to buy a place around here, so what are you going to do?" "Well, you're paying rent." "I don't understand why I have to pay rent for another apartment and put my stamp on the system." "Wait." "Are you saying you want us to live together?" "Two economic wrongs don't make a right." "And besides, I want to be with you, Gwen." "So what do you say?" " Hi Lorenzo, is Simon here?" " No." " Do you know where he is?" " No." "Okay." "Are you doing anything?" "So as a woman, would you ever want to be with a guy who was aimless?" "I'm sure women would want to be with someone that has some idea of what he wants do with his life." "I guess there's a reason why drifters are loners, right?" "Are you talking about anyone specific?" "I don't know what I want to do with my life." "I don't think you have to worry about that, you're pretty." "Look, you're young." "And there are a lot of adults who don't know where they're headed." "That's why they always ask kids, 'What do you want to be when you grow up?"" "It's because they're looking for ideas." "All right, it's my turn." "I can tell Simon really cares about what you think." "So what do you think about me?" "I can see you growing on me." "Whoopee." " Thanks for the company." "It was fun." " Yeah, sure." "Simon, are you there?" " Hey." " Hey." " Did you kids have a good time?" " Yeah, it was great." "Hey, it's after 12!" "Dinner shift doesn't start till 6." "Don't you have somewhere you need to be?" "The only thing I have to do today is remember every detail from last night and write it all down in my blog, so the whole world wide web can read about it." "I don't think there's an emoticon." "or smiley that describes how I feel." "Oh, I forgot your name." "I can't remember anything." "I think you came in my brain." "Simon, it's Jane." "Where are you?" "Lorenzo." "You know how you're always saying the best way... to get a girl to want you is to be inaccessible?" " That could not be more true." " Yeah, Lo knows hoes." "I mean, Jane never called before I started seeing Trese." "Did you say Jane?" "I think she really misses me." "Yeah, Simon, you win." "All right, let it go." "Oh wait!" "Are you going to call her?" "Yeah." "It's my turn to do the mistreating." "This is Jane we're talking about here." "She loves messing with guys' heads." "I got this." "Simon!" "Look, just be careful, all right?" "Jane, it's Simon." "Hey!" "Now what are you working on again?" "I know you've explained it to me like 10 times already, but you know I'm a boob top." " Explain it to me one more time." "Please." " Okay." "I'll usevisuals this time." "Okay, I've constructed a protein that can bind itself to cancer cells." "Let's say this is the tumor, and this is the protein." "This protein has another part to it that attacks the cancer." "But it only works if the protein is attached to the tumor." "That way all the normal cells around it are unaffected." "It's a viable alternative to radiation and chemotherapy." "It's extremely exciting!" "Or not." "I lost you again." "Didn't I?" "Oh no, you didn't lose me." "Okay look, here's the tumor..." "Oh!" "Okay." "All right." "No, that's okay." " I'm sorry." " It's okay." "Hey, I left a key under the mat." "Meet me in 30 minutes, okay?" "Shit." "Good night." "I can't letyou do this to Simon anymore." "You can't let me do this?" "I'm not doing this by myself." "What's so funny?" " I've just never seen you so moralistic." "When did that happen?" "I'm sure all the girls that you've done and ditched... would probably wanna know the same thing." "Let him go." "If you want me to break Simon's heart" "I can just tell him that his best friend is fucking the woman he loves." "I'm sure that would do it." "Gwen said you just got out of jail." " Did you get any tats?" "I was only incarcerated for a little while." "Well, what were you in for?" " Um, I stole some meat." "Oh." "Let's watch the movie." "Oh, so you never told me how that date went." "Oh yeah." "Well, it's going good." "So it's serious?" "I guess." "I don't know." " Wow." " Yeah." "I envy you, Simon." "I mean, seeing someone somewhat seriously is special." "Yeah." "I've never really told you how much I appreciate you." "I mean, I know I'm high-maintenance." "But you should know all those times that you went out of your way for me they haven't gone unnoticed." "It was no big deal." "Thank you, Simon." "Jimmy!" "In the kitchen!" "Jimmy, did you clean?" "You're cooking?" " Yup." " Is that nuoc mam?" "It's amazing whatyou can do with fish sauce." "Come on." "Here." "Is something wrong?" "I'm really not sure how to say this." "It's okay, honey." "Just spit it out." "Okay, Jimmy." "You're a pussy." "What?" "I thought this is whatyou wanted." "You're losing your sense of manliness, and it's turning me off." " What the hell did you just do that for?" " Because you don't need it!" "I mean, the way you were sucking up to Stephen's trashtalking you might as well slap a bag on your ass and crawl around on the floor because you were all lips and lungs back at the bar." "Jimmy please!" "The only reason I did that was to get your ass in gear" " and to get you to do something!" " I did do something!" "But I mean..." "I can change." "I can buy you a new vacuum cleaner." "Whatever you want." "It's too late, Jimmy." "I don't even get off when I'm on top anymore." "He'll be here." "Hey babe." "It's Jane." "Listen, there's something I need to tell you... and I don't want to do it over the phone." "Can you please come over for dinner tonight?" "I wrote this with someone in mind." "That person is not here tonight." ""I fear that you may forget sometimes, 'cause I let you see me cry how tough I am"." ""The strength I hold." "The power deep inside"." ""If in your presence these eyes tear If you feel emotion here"" ""Consider yourself blessed"." ""It means you're liked and trusted." "It means you're better than the rest"." "The other night when you told meyou were seeing someone you looked so happy." "And I did something I told myself I would never do." "But it was so unexpected." "I just couldn't understand why I didn't do it sooner." "That's why I wanted to tell you that I..." "Don't move." "Yeah, come on up." "The food's here." ""Even when I'm gentle, falling like a leaf into your out-stretched arms"." ""On to your shoulders weep." "You will remember"." "Hey!" "Perfect timing." "Simon, this is Max." "Hey, it's nice to meetyou, Simon." "I decided to call Max." "That's what I wanted to tell you." ""You must remember to call me by my true name." "I am a strong woman"." ""Artemis." "Shakti." "Tower of fists." "Stone gaze." "Medusa"." ""Kali is my right hand"." ""I am a bad ass bitch"." "You were great." "Can I get a glass of white wine, please?" " Lorenzo?" " Hey." " And so out of the blue, Jane calls me and says she wants me back." "I mean, yeah, I was seeing some other chick, but when Jane called, it was a no-brainer." "I mean, look at her." "I understand your thought process." "So Simon, how doyou know Jane?" "We're friends." "And Simon is so smart." "He's a scientist." "Oh, do that thing with the tumor." " Where's Simon?" " He's not here?" "He didn't show up." "He's probably stuck somewhere." "I'm sure he feels awful." "What's the matter, Simon?" "Isyour stomach churning?" "Doyou have this empty feeling in the pit ofyour stomach?" "Maybe the pain is just a little higher up." " Is your heart burning?" " Babe, I think you mean heartburn." "Yeah, that's what I meant." "What's his problem?" " He didn't stand a chance." " Now it's just us." "Don't fucking touch me!" "I bet Simon feels awful." "But how do you feel?" "What do you mean?" "You know what I mean, Lorenzo." "But I know how you feel." "Trust me, I know how you feel." "I knew that poetry wasn't your thing, and I guess... maybe being with me wasn't your thing either." "But come back to the lab." "That is your thing." "Don't let me get in the way of that." "Good bye, Simon." "You're fucking up, aren'tyou?" "Not now, Lorenzo." "It's Jane, isn't it?" "I told you forget her." "That made me want her more." "You don't think I knew what every guy was thinking when I was out with her." "'What the fuck is she doing with him?"" "In a sense, you were saying the same thing." "You were so sure that Jane was going to hurt me because you didn't think I was good enough for her." "That's why I wanted to prove to myself, and to you and to every other motherfucker out there that the good guy could get the girl." "Because I deserved to." "Being the good guy never entitled you to shit." "Plus, you got the girl." "You got Trese." "I loved Jane!" "Oh, so you endured all this shit for love." "Yes." "God, you weren't even in love, you masochistic fuck." "You loved the pain." "It made you feel good to think you were the good guy." "But how good a guy have you been?" "Really?" "Stringing Trese along so you can get in Jane's head." "Like I said, you fucked up." "You want to know what's fucked up?" "Hearing you talk about love." "You've got your dick in every fucking hole in this city." "How do you know anything about love?" "But I guess all your escapades did allow you some insight." "You called it right with Jane." "Didn't you?" "Yeah, well, I probably didn't need to sleep with Jane... to get a read on her, did I?" "How long?" "Past four months." "Past four months." "Well, I guess that's why you wanted me to get over Jane." "That way you could fuck her guilt free." "You never grew up, Lorenzo." "You're the same fucking guy you were in high school." "Oh and guess what?" "I knew about Meredith Rolan." "But see, up until this moment" "I thought I could use any friend I could get." " I'm sorry." " Fuck you." "Fuck you." "Trese, he's back." "I knew he'd be back." "Men are so predictable." " Lorenzo?" " It's for you." "What is this?" "Can we talk?" "Yeah." "Vivian, keys." "I didn't know you smoked." "Read it." "Out loud." ""You just know." "The first time you sit in a kitchen... across from her and her eyes twinkle"" ""and her voice and thoughts force their way through your heart." "You just know"." ""That one hour with her is like a day with anyone else"." ""You just know that she could have given you everything if only you had let her"." ""You just know that meeting her allowed you not to settle for less"" ""and that if you keep o being yourself... there will be someone who will eclipse her"." ""Or at least that's what you keep telling yourself"." "Lorenzo gave it to me." "I didn't think a guy with heart existed." "But the man that wrote this has heart." "That's all I ever wanted." "You came all the way here to tell me you want to be with the guy that wrote this?" "Yes." "Yup." " I'm lonely." "It's a bitch, ain't it?" "We're lost, aren't we?" "Listen, I really think we should've asked that guy back there for directions." "Crackheads have no sense of direction." "Plus we're not lost." "How do you know he's addicted to crack cocaine?" "Okay, forget that." "How do you know where we're going?" "Follow the beat." "Look in my eyes." "Eye contact."