"MEN:" "Poppy Poppy" "Who wouldn't kiss an old-fashioned miss like you?" "(WOMEN SCATTING)" "You remind me of an old bouquet" "Shy and demure Wholesome and pure" "Poppy Poppy" "Your fragrance fair reminds me of rare old port" "And I know that you were just the sort" "Granddaddy used to court" "You'd look positively fetching in your granny's hand-me-down" "(WOMEN SCATTING)" "Like a beautiful etching in a crinoline gown" "Poppy Poppy" "You're the most lovely flower that ever grew" "And the world would be a sweeter place if there were more like you" "What a gorgeous day." "What effulgent sunshine." "What effulgent sunshine." "Yes." "It was a day of this sort that the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an ax." "That deuce was pretty good the last time." "It lasted well, didn't it?" "Here." "That's okay." "Oh, Pop, I'm hungry." "Hungry?" "Courage, my little plum." "The carnival is just around the corner." "Pop, you're smarter than any other man I ever saw." "Why don't we settle down in one of these towns?" "Why, you'd own the whole place in five years, and without stealing anything to do it." "My little plum, I'm like Robin Hood." "I take from the rich and I give to the poor." "What poor?" "Us poor." "Us poor is right." "(PEOPLE SINGING MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB)" "Gosh, I wonder if I'll ever have pretty dresses like those." "Gowns of diaphanous silk." "With rosebuds?" "Rosebuds, by all means." "Oh, what a cute little dog." "A very valuable canine, I presume." "Let's take him with us." "What?" "You would purloin someone's valuable pet?" "Give him to me." "I shall return him to his rightful owner." "Maybe they'll give you a couple of pieces of pie as a reward." "Never fear." "I shall not come back empty-handed." "Here you are, my lad." "Sit down there." "Sit down, boy." "How do you do?" "A little whiskey, straight, please." "What'll you have?" "(VENTRILOQUIALLY) Milk as usual in a saucer." "He wants a little milk, he'll have it in a saucer." "Stand up, Alcibiados." "Oh, my feet are sore." "I've been walking all morning." "What kind of a dog is he?" "He's a cross between a Manchurian yak and an Australian dingo." "Well, that's funny." "There's some folks right down the road here got a dog exactly like him, but he can't talk." "Well, naturally, I've devoted a lot of time to this dog." "Taught him everything he knows." "Is he for sale?" "Well, for a price." "Well, I'll give you $20 for him." "I hate to sell him, but..." "I'll let him go." "This breaks my heart." "I can't tell you." "Just for selling me" "I'll never speak another word as long as I live!" "He's a stubborn little fellow." "I'm afraid he'll keep his word." "Speak!" "Speak!" "Speak!" "You want to bet on it?" "Sure." "All right, I'll race you to the square in Green Meadows." "Are you hurt?" "Yes." "Thanks!" "Shame on you." "A girl at your age trying to commit suicide." "Why, think of your poor old mother and father." "Think of me." "If I really told you what I thought of you..." "Go ahead." "I bet I'd like it." "Put me down!" "Gee, you've got pretty eyes." "Put me down!" "Pretty hair, too." "Will you put me down and get out of here!" "I never saw you before." "Do you live around here?" "Yes, sure!" "I live in a cave under the bridge, you simple-minded little rube." "Now, will you go home?" "If you can't find your way back, follow your horse." "He looks bright." "Sorry I troubled you." "Don't worry, I won't again." "That's just fine with me." "Ladies and gentlemen!" "You are just in time for the big show!" "Step right this way!" "(MUSIC PLAYING)" "Ladies and gentlemen!" "The extraordinary feature of this evening's..." "Stop it." "You lug, you." "Ladies and gentlemen!" "Introducing tonight the feature of the evening's performance..." "What do you think you're doing, picking up tramps along the road?" "Ain't this the new attraction you hired in Bridgeport?" "No, you chump!" "Throw him off!" "All right, I'll throw him off." "Let me go or I'll crush every bone in your body!" "Take these with you." "Pop!" "Are you hurt?" "Only my pride, dear, only my pride." "I'm just fooling." "Get away, get away." "They're playing possum." "Go away, go away." "(GROANING)" "I've been killed, murdered!" "What's the matter?" "I've broke my sacroiliac." "Why, your sacroiliac is down here." "Yeah." "Oh, they've broke my sacroiliac!" "Run to the nearest golf course and get a doctor." "Very well." "Come on, off the grounds, you, and hustle yourself." "You leave him alone!" "Hey, off my fingers!" "I shall sue the management for this outrage." "Get me a lawyer!" "I'll look after him, Sheriff." "Joe, carry him in the office." "Everything possible will be done for him, madam." "I'm dead!" "I'm dying!" "Oh, this is wonderful." "(WOMEN EXCLAIMING)" "(MUMBLING)" "Oh, I'm dead!" "All right, old timer, how much?" "$10,000 and a concession." "I should charge you $20,000." "A concession and $10." "Accepted!" "Come, my little plum, let's go to work." "Come, dear." "That's good." "What fiendish trick will they resort to next?" "Come, my dear." "Get your red hots, now." "Step right up here." "Oh, I'm hungry." "My dear, you only munched a few moments ago." "Not since before noon, I haven't." "Oh, you haven't, huh?" "Oh!" "My daughter and I would like to partake of some of your luscious viands." "How is your moutard?" "Your mustard?" "Mustard?" "Why, we have the very best." "You have, eh?" "Is the..." "Thank you." "Would you just put another one in there, please?" "Cost you extra." "Yes, that's okay." "Thank you very much." "Have some mustard, dear?" "Is this fresh mustard?" "Very best." "Oh, it is, eh?" "That's good." "Horseradish?" "Horseradish?" "Horseradish." "There you are, sir." "Thank you." "You haven't a little foie gras to rub on these things?" "You wouldn't like a little foie gras, dear?" "No, no." "Foie gras?" "Yeah." "(MUFFLED MUMBLING)" "Twenty cents, please." "Very reasonable." "I'll pay you at the conclusion of our engagement." "Oh, no, you won't." "You're gonna pay me right now!" "Really." "I shall return mine, also." "Listen, you tramp." "How am I gonna sell these again?" "First you insult me, then you ask my advice concerning salesmanship." "You, sir, are a dunce." "Dunce, sir!" "D-U-N-C..." "How do you spell it?" "Come, dear, let's go." "A free show!" "A free show!" "Mademoiselle Poppy, the golden-throated thrush will now sing for you." "Cantatrice par excellence." "Mademoiselle!" "(ALL APPLAUDING)" "Just a half a tick, dear." "Pardon me, folks, for playing with my mittens on, won't you?" "When the moon begins to beam" "I'll have a rendezvous" "A rendezvous with a dream" "Down beside a rippling stream" "My heart will lead me to" "A rendezvous with a dream" "Then you will say that you love me" "And hold me so tight" "But like the stars up above me" "You'll fade away" "In the night" "But when at last" "My dream comes true" "I'll have a rendezvous" "A rendezvous" "With you" "Come on, everybody sing it." "When the moon begins to beam" "I'll have a rendezvous" "A rendezvous with a dream" "Down beside a rippling stream" "A rippling stream" "My heart will lead me to" "A rendezvous with a dream" "Then you will say that you love me" "And hold me so tight" "But like the stars up above me" "You'll fade away in the night" "But when at last" "My dream comes true" "My dream comes true" "I'll have a rendezvous" "A rendezvous with you" "Now, ladies and gentlemen, it is my great pleasure to introduce to you the most scientific discovery in modern times, purple bark sarsaparilla." "Without purple bark sarsaparilla this mundane sphere of ours would be barren, bleak and dank." "I'll take a bottle." "Oh, thank you, sir." "Here you are." "Now, ladies and gentlemen..." "Hey, I gave you $5." "Quiet, please." "Now, ladies and gentlemen..." "Yes, but I gave you $5." "(EXCLAIMING)" "Now, ladies and gentlemen..." "I gave you a $5 bill." "You're quite right." "I catch on." "The gentleman wishes five bottles." "Here you are." "(STUTTERING) I don't want five bottles." "No more." "Ladies and gentlemen, only five bottles to each person." "Purple bark sarsaparilla is good for man or beast." "Will grow hair and also remove warts." "The sun never sets on purple bark sarsaparilla." "Will it really grow hair?" "Grow hair on a billiard ball." "It won't grow hair on a pool ball, will it?" "All except the eight ball." "Now, ladies and gentlemen..." "MAN:" "The great exhibition going on here!" "...the big show is now about to start!" "Come, folks, come right in!" "See the big show!" "See the big show!" "(MAN SHOUTING)" "(GONGING)" "Hello." "Oh, hello." "May I help you?" "You may not." "Don't you remember me?" "No." "Oh, I'm the man this morning." "You know, down by the creek." "Oh, yes, of course." "You're the gentleman who tried to murder me." "Yeah, that's..." "No!" "I guess I was kind of fresh, too." "Were you?" "You know, this is the first time I've ever talked to an actress." "What's your name?" "Poppy." "Mine's Billy Farnsworth." "My dad's the Mayor of this town, and I'm his son." "What a coincidence." "What?" "Pour." "After we get these filled up, would you maybe walk around the carnival grounds with me?" "Why?" "'Cause I'd like you to." "I mean, it would make me kind of proud, I guess." "It would make you proud to be seen with me?" "It sure would." "Come on, pour." "There you are." "Under that one!" "(EXCLAIMS)" "As I live and breathe, I thought you had me." "I was fooled myself that time." "Who will be the next to outwit me?" "It's a little game of chance." "Come one, come all." "It's the old army game." "I don't want five bottles." "No more." "Go away, go away." "(MUMBLING) You're blood poison." "There ain't a bit of gambling going on inside the grounds, Your Honor." "I'm mighty glad to hear it." "Yes, indeed." "Shall we go ahead, Countess?" "Yes, Mayor." "PROFESSOR:" "This is not a game of chance, it's a game of science and skill." "Two will get you four..." "Here comes the Mayor." "(QUAVERING) Gambling, my dear friends, is the root of all evil." "For years, I was a victim of this awful scourge, gambling." "A helpless pawn in the toils of Beelzebub." "Beelzebub." "Beelzebub." "Lucifer." "I'll bet I can find the pea." "Quiet." "Quiet." "Get away, get away." "Go on, the whole lot of you." "Get out of here." "Get out." "And that, ladies and gentlemen, concludes the lecture for this evening." "Permit me to shake your hand, sir." "This..." "I am Mayor Farnsworth." "Well, Your Honor, this is indeed an honor." "I am very glad to know you." "I am Dr. Eustace P. McGargle, FASN." "Perhaps you have read my book on the evils of wagering?" "No." "You haven't?" "It has a blue cover." "Maybe that will recall it to your mind." "Go right ahead with your lecture, Doctor." "Unfortunately, I have just concluded." "Are you staying on the grounds all evening?" "No." "No, I'm leaving at 9:30." "9:30." "Well, my next lecture unfortunately doesn't go on till 9:32." "(CHUCKLING)" "I am the Countess DePuizzi." "The Countess DePussy?" "Monsieur, no!" "DePuizzi." "La contesse DePuizzi." "Quite so." "Quite so." "Pardon my redundancy." "(SPEAKING FRENCH)" "How true that is." "How true that is, yes." "Of all of us." "Yes." "(COUNTESS LAUGHING)" "No, no, no, your head." "Nuts." "Nuts." "Oh, yes, yes." "I forgot all about it." "I've been eating walnuts." "I had them in my hat." "I'm sorry." "MAYOR:" "Yes." "Well, we must be getting along." "Good-bye, Doctor." "Good-bye, Your Honor." "Keep up the good work." "I shall." "Believe me." "Good-bye, Professor." "Not good-bye, Countess." "Au revoir." "No, Professor." "A bientot." "(SPEAKING FRENCH)" "How are you, Maggi?" "The Countess DePuizzi, if you please." "You'll always be Maggi Tubbs as far as I'm concerned." "(SPEAKING FRENCH)" "Is she living here in town?" "She was born here." "Was, eh?" "Yeah." "Skedaddled out of town when she was about 16 years old." "Hornswoggled some Count into marrying her." "She's dippy, though." "Been dippy all her life, but she's got might nigh all the money in town." "Yeah." "What do you think of that?" "Yeah." "Mighty interesting woman." "I keep telling you I've got five bottles." "You have five bottles and I have 300 bottles." "How would you like to be me?" "Yes, but I don't want five bottles." "Very well." "One, two, three, four." "What are you doing there?" "Give it to me." "Five." "All right." "(WOMEN LAUGHING)" "Oh, excuse me." "Dear Dr. McGargle!" "Countess, you overwhelm me." "What a pleasant surprise." "What a pleasant surprise to me." "How do you get it open, dear?" "There's the latch, always open for you." "Countess." "Pardon me." "What a pleasant surprise." "Welcome to my little cottage." "What a charming little lean-to." "Hey, mister." "I want to see you for a minute." "Pardon me, Countess, dear, please." "Certainly, Professor." "Look here, young man..." "I ain't got that $5 back yet." "(GROANING)" "And I ain't got my five bottles, either." "Quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet." "I'm just about fed up with this sort of thing." "Here, you got change for $10?" "We'll stop this for all time." "Here's a $5 bill." "That's fine." "Now, you know what that is?" "Five and five are ten." "That means that I owe you $10 and don't ask me for it again until I remind you of it." "I'll be the one that'll do the talking this time." "Pardon me." "Oh, you know my gardener?" "I knew his father." "He used to work for me at my silver, gold and platinum mine up at Cohen's Gulch." "(EXCLAIMING)" "I just gave him $100." "What benevolence!" "Oh, nothing, really." "What a heart!" "Oh, no." "What a generous and lovable character you are." "Oh, really, you make me blush." "And to think, with all your great fortune you help others." "Nothing at all." "Let me carry your hammer, Hankus." "I beg your pardon." "Pardon my redundancy, Countess." "Oh, Professor!" "(GATE SLAMMING)" "Professor, do you croquet?" "No, I do not." "I used to do a little tatting in trains occasionally." "Oh, no, no, Professor." "Croquet." "Croquet, you know." "Oh, yes, yes, yes." "I helped write the game." "No?" "Oh, toured the world giving lessons and also lecturing." "You don't say?" "Yes, but, of course, I haven't had a bat in my hand for more than a year." "(SCREAMING)" "Oh!" "Professor!" "(COUNTESS SIGHS)" "What lazy lout left these wires all over the lawn?" "Why, Professor, this is the croquet lawn." "The who?" "Yes, the croquet lawn." "Oh, thank you, dear." "Thank you, Countess." "Thank you, dear." "(SIGHS)" "I'm afraid I've bent it." "Pardon me." "I'm afraid some of the machinery has gone wrong." "I won't take long to... (EXCLAIMING) Okay." "Oh, Professor!" "Oh, yes, that's all right." "Yes." "Oh, Professor, let me get you a nice cup of tea." "Cup of tea." "Girls!" "Girls!" "He's the champion croquet player of the world." "Really?" "Yes." "He told me so." "I'll be waiting." "Now can I talk to you?" "I'll not give you another penny." "Come here." "I want to see you." "I'm fed up with the whole arrangement." "Look out." "What are you doing, trying to pull me down there with you?" "Wait here." "Give me $10." "Here's a $20 bill." "Give me $10." "Give it to me." "Give it to me." "COUNTESS:" "Oh, Professor." "You're blood poison." "Yes, dear." "(EXCLAIMING)" "Blast those things." "Professor, I brought you a little stimulant." "No, thanks, dear." "Oh, Professor, perhaps you'd just as leave croquet?" "Yes, I'd just as leave." "I was poisoned once with tea." "Oh, Professor." "It's all right." "Don't be frightened." "I won't hurt you." "Just taking my practice swings." "I haven't played for so long." "My heart flutters when you do..." "Oh, stop it." "(CHUCKLING)" "Can we take this out of here?" "Oh, no, Professor, that's the goal." "The goal?" "Yes, the goal." "(EXCLAIMS)" "I haven't played since playing in Darjeeling, many years ago." "Darjeeling, as you know, is the foot of the Himalayas." "Oh, I thought there was something funny about that." "That's better." "It's on securely now." "You have to have them securely fitted before I can hit a ball." "Oh, drat." "Must be something in there." "No." "Nothing in there but my finger." "Would you mind stepping on that?" "I'll get it." "Isn't that something?" "Drat that thing." "Do you mind?" "You know, if I had my own sack of... (GROANING)" "You weasel, you." "(EXCLAIMING)" "That's better." "Probably spoke too soon." "Well, try, try again." "Come on, dear, come on." "Papa's waiting." "I thought that was rather neat." "Now then, this is rather difficult." "(ROCK CLATTERING)" "Can't he put that down?" "Egmont, put the rock down." "Put it down." "Wonderful." "May he go away?" "Egmont, go." "Go away." "Go." "Go, go away." "Go away, Eggnog." "That was rather a tricky shot, don't you think?" "I must have ricocheted off the wire." "I'll swan!" "I guess this isn't a very good day for croquet." "Haven't any baseball bats around, have you?" "Go away, you beast!" "Go away, you!" "(DOGS BARKING)" "Go away, Pom-Pom!" "Come, Beasty." "Come, Pom-Pom." "Come, Professor." "Come Beasty, Pom-Pom and Professor." "Coming, Countess." "Oh, do come and have some refreshments, Professor." "You must..." "Oh, thank you." "You must be arm weary." "Not at all, not at all." "Sometimes I play two, and even three games in one day without getting exhausted." "Oh, how wonderful." "Come, Pom-Pom." "Come, Professor." "Come along." "Two'll get you four, four'll get you eight, eight'll get you 16." "This way, Professor dear." "(MUMBLING)" "This way, dear." "Come, Pom-Pom." "Come, Pom-Pom." "Come on." "I'm coming, dear." "Coming." "(MUMBLING)" "Boy, I sure envy you." "You certainly do want to go places, don't you?" "Oh, I get so darn sick of this town and the same old faces all the time." "I want to see different things and different faces." "Oh, but don't you understand?" "It isn't any good." "It..." "Look." "That's what happens when you never stay still." "Faces go by so fast, you don't see them at all." "You don't know whether they're nice and kind, or mean and ugly." "You've got to really settle down and look at a face before it means anything to you." "Hey, aren't you listening to me?" "I'd never thought of that." "Oh, it's stopped." "(STUTTERING) I'd better get back." "Pop may need me." "MAYOR:" "William." "Yes, sir." "We're ready to go." "Father, I'd like you to meet Miss McGargle." "How do you do?" "I'm glad to meet you." "We've been looking everywhere for you." "Shall we go?" "Well, I... (BELL RINGING)" "There's the curfew." "Come on, Son." "Good night, Poppy." "Good-bye." "MAYOR:" "Who is that girl?" "She works here." "She's..." "She works here?" "Why, yes." "Oh, don't scold him, Mr. Farnsworth." "These carnival girls might be rather fun." "Shh." "She might hear you." "Hello." "Oh, hello." "What's the matter?" "Nothing." "Not a thing." "Cold?" "No." "I've got a stomachache." "Well, I should think you would have." "Frankfurters and pink lemonade for a girl your age." "I like frankfurters." "Of course you do." "Children never like the right things to eat, like chicken fricassee, for instance, and dumplings." "Like that?" "I never ate any." "Never ate any?" "Oh, my dear." "You come right along with me." "Why, you haven't lived until you've eaten Sarah Tucker's chicken and dumplings." "Land o' Goshen, that's hotter than a depot stove, ain't it?" "Yes, there is 98% alcohol and 2% sweetening." "Very fine for your stomach, though." "Let me help you to a little more, here." "There you are." "So you say the Countess has beaucoup dinero, eh?" "How's that?" "I said she has plenty of money." "Yes." "Yes, she has, but..." "But it ain't rightly hers." "Well, I'll switch, yeah." "Go ahead, tell me more." "The whole kit and caboodle of the estate belongs to Katherine Putnam, if she can be found." "Katie Putnam, eh?" "Mmm-hmm." "Remind me later about that name, will you?" "Yes, she's been gone 20 years, ever since she..." "Ever since she fussed with her father and ran away with the circus." "That makes..." "That makes the Countess the next of kin." "Oh, I see." "Yeah." "Millions molding in the bank, I suppose." "Gosh, I wish I could help that poor girl." "If I got my hands on that money, I could double it in a fortnight." "If you could get your hands on that..." "But nobody can, and nobody's going to, till they find out what happened to Katie Putnam and her daughter." "Daughter?" "She had a daughter, eh?" "Yeah, they had a baby." "Oh." "How old would the daughter be about right now?" "About 18, as nigh as I can recollect." "That's fine, that's fine." "Now, look here." "I've enjoyed the conversation and liked our little talk this afternoon." "I'll see you later." "I..." "I don't know as I'd do a thing like that, if I was you, without legal advice." "(EXCLAIMS)" "You need a partner." "Fine suggestion." "Don't let me interrupt you." "No." "Sobered up pretty quickly, didn't you?" "Yes." "Yes, I did." "Okay, okay, okay." "Oh, no, I couldn't." "Honest." "Gosh, I've eaten till it hurts." "It was so good." "I told you it would be." "Seems funny not eating in a tent." "You like this better?" "Oh, much." "Why did you ask me here?" "Oh, I don't know." "There was just something about you that..." "You didn't feel sorry for me, did you?" "Certainly not." "Sorry for you at your age, with eyes like yours?" "That was it." "It was your eyes." "There was something about them I liked." "Come on, let's clean up." "Now, I'll wash and you wipe." "I'll be very careful." "Oh!" "Oh!" "Aren't we the clumsy pair?" "Here, dear." "I'm so sorry." "Oh, nonsense." "I've just been waiting for an excuse to get rid of that ugly old trash." "Uncle Abner gave them to me." "They're 150 years old." "A hundred and fifty years old?" "Mmm-hmm." "You've had them that long?" "Now, listen here." "Oh, I didn't mean that." "I mean, have they always been in your family?" "They have." "And this old house, too." "I've lived here all my life." "Just imagine." "Living in one house all your life." "You wouldn't like that?" "Oh, but I would!" "I've dreamed about a house just like this, with a fence around it, white," "and curtains smelling like hollyhocks." "But hollyhocks don't smell." "Oh, don't they?" "Well, smelling like hollyhocks look, then." "Do you like hollyhocks?" "Oh, I just love them." "I'd have millions of them around my house, if I had a house." "But Pop would never settle down." "He's too restless." "Has to be on the move all the time." "Yes, I can quite understand that." "Naturally, I have to go with him." "He's my father." "Well, I declare." "We got these pretty clean." "Supposing we try the others." "Darn near washed the pattern off." "You say this man married Katherine Putnam, is that right?" "Right as a trivet." "Sounds kind of fishy to me." "Yes, it does." "Does sound a little mite fishy, but I believe it." "Now, Mr. Mayor, we've got to take it a little slow here." "He's quite close-mouthed about it." "I had to pick it out of him." "Well, let's go on in." "Yeah." "Oh, Dr. McGargle," "I've brought Mayor Farnsworth to see you." "Ah, Mayor." "I hope you're fit." "It's an honor to see you on this effulgent a.m." "Good morning, Doctor." "Mayor Farnsworth's got some questions he wants to ask you." "Oh, yes?" "I'm sorry, Doctor, but you'll overlook this intrusion?" "Oh, certainly." "What was your wife's maiden name?" "Katherine." "No, no, I mean the family name." "Was it, by any chance, Putnam?" "I'll be candid with you, Your Honor, it was." "Mayor Farnsworth, here, is the sole trustee of the Putnam estate." "Oh, indeed?" "Mr. Whiffen tells me your wife has passed away." "Yes, the poor dear was killed in Upper Sandusky." "Run over by a pie wagon." "A hit-and-gallop-away driver." "One of the horses stepped upon..." "Never mind the details." "Never mind the details." "Never mind." "Oh, yes." "Could..." "Could you describe her?" "Oh, could I describe her." "My bride of yesteryear." "What was her approximate weight?" "Her weight?" "She used to diet frequently." "It varied." "One hundred pounds." "And her height?" "You mean how tall?" "Eight feet." "Eight feet?" "Oh, I beg your pardon." "I was thinking of a piece of property that I bought, 8 by 16." "This is all very painful to me." "5'3"." "We've been searching for Katharine Putnam for years." "If she'd been alive, she would inherit a large fortune left by her father, Henry Putnam." "But being deceased..." "If Katherine died without leaving any children, the entire estate goes to the Countess DePuizzi." "The Countess De..." "The Countess, eh?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "And you have a daughter." "Did your wife have any distinguishing marks, any birthmarks?" "Sir!" "I'm sorry, but I have to ask." "Yes." "I must confess, she had sideburns." "Sideburns?" "She had a mole, didn't she?" "Oh, yes." "I beg your pardon." "I was thinking of my uncle." "He had sideburns, red ones." "She had a mole behind the ear." "No other proofs?" "Just a little photograph that I've carried all my life," "taken at Punxsutawney." "Oh, I beg your pardon." "What did I do with that photograph?" "I must have lost it or put it away somewhere." "Of course, this would be of no interest to you." "It's my marriage license." "Just let me see that a moment." "Do you know the value of this document?" "I know that it is very near and dear to me." "By this, your daughter inherits the Putnam estate." "Great grief!" "To think, what a coincidence, that I've carried it all my life, nearest my heart, and now it brings more untold wealth to my little plum." "(CRYING) My little plum." "My..." "Oh, my little plum." "There, there." "Katherine's daughter." "My little plum." "Gee, just listen to the quiet." "You can almost hear yourself think." "Can you hear what I'm thinking about you?" "Oh, look!" "You've caught one." "(CHUCKLING)" "Oh, don't, Billy." "Don't what?" "That hook." "It'll hurt him." "No, it won't." "Fish don't feel anything." "(VENTRILOQUIALLY) That's what you think." "You did that." "You looked so funny." "Well, gosh, you would, too, if a fish started talking back to you." "Where'd you learn that?" "Pop taught me." "Will he teach me?" "I could sure have a lot of fun if he would." "Sure, if he had time." "You couldn't learn it in one night." "I wouldn't expect to." "We're leaving tomorrow." "What?" "The carnival closes." "Oh, Poppy." "I don't want to go." "Well, don't go, then." "Please stay here." "Oh, I can't." "I have to go with Pop, you know that." "Yes, I know." "Poppy, look." "I know I'm young and all that, but I'm not always going to be," "and, well, when a man gets older, it's awful if he hasn't got a wife and family or anything." "That's reasonable, isn't it?" "Very." "Will you do it, then?" "Do what?" "What I said about a wife and family." "Well, you'll get older, too, and..." "Poppy, let's get married." "Billy, you mean you want me for your wife and family?" "Billy!" "There she is." "Poppy, come here." "Oh, we've got some marvelous news for you." "Make yourself right at home, dear." "It's all yours." "Gosh!" "Does Pop know?" "Well, you see, it was like this..." "Oh, I've got to tell him." "Nothing fits in this house." "Nothing." "(WHISTLING)" "The cheap little upstart." "Frances." "Frances." "But if you can be brave, I can." "How you could come here tonight, I don't know." "You've been wonderful, my dear." "Really, wonderful." "Oh." "Good evening, my dear." "Good evening." "How pretty we look tonight." "This is my first party dress." "Yes." "Miss Tucker helped me pick it out." "I rather thought she had." "It's in quite good taste, really." "I wasn't late coming down, was I?" "Aren't you sort of early?" "I asked them to come early." "Oh, I realize I've overstepped my authority." "It's your home." "I haven't forgotten that." "You will forgive me, won't you?" "Oh, but I wasn't..." "Well, I had bought a few pitiful little trinkets that I wanted to give my friends before the others came." "And I was afraid that I might cry or some silly thing." "But you do understand, don't you?" "But I didn't mean that..." "There you are." "You didn't mean a thing." "Of course you didn't." "You're just a thoughtless, happy little girl who wouldn't harm anyone in the world deliberately." "You are happy, aren't you?" "Why, yes, I am." "I've found out about my mother." "I have a home and Billy." "You're very sure of Billy." "Yes." "I suppose if you're happy, that's all that matters." "I know if I were in love with a man," "I'd be more concerned about his happiness." "There isn't anything in the world I wouldn't do for Billy." "Poppy." "We know you'd do all you know how." "We don't want to say anything to upset you." "We want to be your friends and..." "But, well, Billy's background is a wee bit different from a carnival girl's." "Oh, mercy me." "I think I hear the guests arriving." "Oh, have you arranged the place cards, Poppy?" "Place cards?" "We will arrange them this time, won't we, dear?" "Poppy." "What are you doing down here?" "Oh, just thinking." "About what?" "About traveling." "You were right." "It is fun." "Gosh, I miss it, you know?" "I was afraid you might." "Billy, listen." "No, you stay there." "(TITTERS)" "I guess you thought I meant it when I said I loved you and everything, but you see, that's because you forget I'm a carnival girl." "You can't depend on anybody like me." "I'm used to the excitement and change of carnivals." "I like it that way." "I like noise and music and lights." "(CHUCKLES)" "Me, in this little one-horse town?" "Why, gosh, I'd be bored stiff." "So you see, I didn't mean any of the things I said, but I had to have some fun while I was here." "You see what I mean?" "Of course, you can get out of it any way you like." "Gosh, I don't care." "(SOBBING) You can tell them anything you want." "There's your collar button." "Oh." "Thanks." "(COUGHS)" "I've swallowed it." "That's terrible!" "It belongs to the Mayor and it's solid gold." "Doesn't taste like it." "Well, it's time for the entertainment to start." "Well, where's Poppy?" "I haven't seen her all evening." "FRANCES:" "If you can find Billy, that's where she'll be." "Poppy?" "There she is." "Come on, fellows." "Father didn't know where you were." "You had everybody worried." "Well, we're all ready, folks, all ready." "(MUSIC PLAYING)" "When the moon" "Begins to beam" "CHORUS:" "Begins to beam" "I'll have a rendezvous" "A rendezvous" "With a dream" "A rendezvous with just a dream" "Down beside" "A rippling stream" "A rippling stream" "My heart will lead me to" "A rendezvous" "With a dream" "With a dream" "MEN:" "Then you will say" "Then you will say that you love me" "(WOMEN VOCALIZING)" "And hold me" "So tight" "But like the stars But like the stars" "Up above me" "You fade away" "In the light" "In the light" "But when at last But when at last" "My dream comes true My dream comes true" "ALL:" "I'll have a rendezvous" "A rendezvous with you" "Margaret, you look slicker than a school marm's elbow tonight." "(CHUCKLING)" "Eddie Whiffen, what in the world?" "Margaret, I've..." "Get up." "Get up from there before someone sees you in that ridiculous position." "I don't give a darn if they do." "When I ask a woman to be my wife, I..." "Your wife?" "How utterly absurd." "No such thing." "I've worshipped you from afar for years." "For years." "Yeah." "You never spoke a civil word to me until I came into the Putnam fortune." "Well, you ain't got your hands on the Putnam money now, and I'm still asking you to marry me." "Now, don't rush away in the heat of the day, I ain't through yet." "What could you possibly have to offer a woman who's been accustomed to luxury such as this?" "$3 million ain't to be glossed over lightly, is it?" "Where could you ever get $3 million?" "Like pounding sand in a rat hole," "I could lay the whole Putnam fortune right in your lap as sure as there's a cow in Georgia, if I was a mind to, and I might be a mind to." "There's a little personal interest in it." "Eddie." "How could you do that?" "Never mind." "I can do it." "Yes?" "Yeah." "(STUTTERING) This is so sudden, I..." "Well, you've quite taken me unawares." "Oh, Eddie, you're so forceful." "Yeah." "It's a bargain?" "Yes." "Oh, Constable." "Come here." "I've gotten everything straightened out in here." "You just come right in here." "It won't take five minutes to arrange the whole thing." "And now, my friends, I want to introduce a great and lovable character," "Dr. Eustace P. McGargle, FASN, who will entertain us." "Dr. McGargle." "(ALL APPLAUDING)" "Ladies and gentlemen, I..." "Dr. McGargle." "Don't scare me that way." "Ladies and gentlemen, I have the honor of rendering for your approval this evening, the first Dugijigs of the Opera Schreckensach by Gilka Kimmel and Oasip Pippitome." "May I speak to you a minute?" "Excuse me just a moment." "Thank you very much." "Thank you." "Thank you." "My beloved kadula-kadola." "Ladies and gentlemen, I've got to have absolute quiet." "Very difficult instrument." "(MUTTERING)" "How do you do, sir?" "That's better." "That's much better." "Oh, drat." "(EXCLAIMS)" "Go right on through." "Get out of here." "Someone must have been Vaselining it." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "I thank you." "Thank you." "Oh, Pop." "There you are, my beautiful little plum." "Pop, let's get out of here, tonight." "Have they found out?" "Found out what?" "May I come in?" "You are in." "Yes, but we're waiting for you." "We'll be..." "But I... (EXCLAIMING)" "May I have one moment in seclusion with my little loved one?" "Certainly." "Thank you." "But we're waiting for you." "Very well." "I can't go back in there." "What?" "Let them keep their money." "I don't want it." "We can go on, like we always have." "You refuse me this one little caprice?" "Your papa?" "All right, I'll go." "I knew you would." "An opportunity that only comes once in a lifetime." "You've been invited here tonight to hear two happy announcements both of interest to this community." "I have at last discovered the rightful heiress to the Putnam estate." "She is Poppy McGargle, this altogether lovely girl beside me and who, I am more happy to say, is soon to become my own daughter-in-law." "My little plum." "William, come here, please." "Soon two of the oldest families in New England will be joined." "It has always been my wish..." "Wait!" "My friends, I..." "Hold your horses there, Mr. Mayor." "What's the meaning of this?" "Not another peep or you'll put your foot in it." "What's that?" "There stands two of the worst swindlers that ever come down the pike." "This is an insult!" "Quite impossible!" "This marriage certificate is a forgery." "Preposterous!" "He claims this paper was made out in 1863." "There's the watermark, there, plain as the bones in your hand," "1881!" "I've been duped." "Run, Pop, run!" "Why... (WOMEN EXCLAIMING)" "BILLY:" "Let go of her." "Come on, Poppy." "I almost missed the turn." "I said let go of her!" "William!" "Gangway, please." "Gangway." "There goes my $10." "I could run you in for this." "EGMONT:" "Constable, he got away." "Yeah, but she didn't." "She's under arrest." "She's nothing of the kind." "I'm taking her home with me." "Sarah!" "Are you going to shelter a criminal under your own roof?" "A criminal!" "Oh, if you people had all listened to me." "Do you want me to slap that giggling mouth of yours?" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "William." "Listen, Billy, don't bother." "She's probably quite used to this sort of thing by now." "You keep out of this." "What do you know about it?" "All of you." "What do you know about anything?" "A lot of self-satisfied, stupid hicks who never did anything in your lives but sit on your own silly little front porches and decide how other people should live." "I'm just a carnival girl." "Maybe I don't know what place cards are." "Maybe I'm a criminal, like you said, but I'd rather be me than the whole stupid lot of you!" "Oh!" "Take me away." "Take me anywhere, just take me away." "Come, baby, let's go home." "What are you doing?" "Could I leave the house for a little while?" "I suppose you want to take all this finery back to the Putnam place." "Uh-huh." "You're much too spunky for your own good." "Well, I guess you can go..." "Where did you get this?" "That was my mother's." "Now, don't you dare set a foot out of this house till I get back." "Where's Poppy?" "I want you to rush right downtown and fetch your father." "But I want to see her." "Now, do as I say." "Poppy will be here when you get back." "Hurry!" "Pop!" "Oh, I'm so glad to see you!" "But you'd better get out." "Yes, come." "We must escape immediately." "I can't, I promised Miss Tucker I wouldn't leave the house." "What of it?" "Well, I can't break my word to her." "She's been like a mother to me." "Dear, haven't I been like a mother, a father, an uncle, a brother, a sister, two cousins?" "But you are my father." "My little plum." "I can't lie to you any longer." "I'm not your father." "Pop, you don't mean that." "Yes, I do, dear." "I found you at a circus when you were three years old." "(HORSES APPROACHING)" "The gildersleeves!" "Come, we must escape." "If you change your mind and wish to join me, telegraph the Ice Palace, Montreal." "He's got the Mayor's horse." "Come on!" "Stop him!" "Stop him!" "(MEN SCREAMING)" "MAN 1:" "He's heading for the bridge!" "Don't let him get away from us, catch him!" "MAN 2:" "Get him!" "MAN 3:" "Head him off!" "Come in." "I have something to tell you." "Where's Poppy?" "In there." "Come in here." "I told you, Billy..." "Yes, I know, you told me." "Now I'm going to tell you for a change." "So far we've done everything the way you wanted to do it." "Now we're going to try it my way and see what happens." "I don't care what anybody says or thinks," "I love you and I'm going to marry you right away now!" "If you have any objection to that, say, "No."" "But, Billy, I..." "Say, "No."" "No, Billy." "Henry Putnam gave those two lockets to Katherine and me when we graduated from high school." "I gave Katherine my picture to put in hers, and she gave me her picture to put in mine, and there it is." "Now, if that's not the spitting image of Poppy," "I'll eat my shirt." "I knew there was something familiar about that girl the moment I laid my eyes on her." "Poppy, come here." "Yeah." "Oh, Poppy, we have such wonderful news for you." "We have positive proof you're the real heiress after all and I'm so happy." "Howdy, folks." "The Putnam fortune has just married the smartest lawyer in town." "COUNTESS:" "Aren't you surprised?" "Not half as surprised as you're going to be." "I'm afraid that's true, Maggi." "This is Katherine Putnam's daughter." "There's no question about it now." "(SIGHS)" "Must have been a lot of drinking going on here." "There goes my $10." "That's where my hunting cap went to." "Oh, if you only hadn't come back for me." "Fortunes of war, my dear." "I never thought much of that horse and he dropped dead right in front of the police station." "Take those handcuffs off." "Make him." "All right, Sam, take them off." "Pop, I've got something wonderful to tell you." "Have you, dear?" "Come on." "Pop, what do you think?" "I'm really the heiress." "Wonderful!" "You're finally getting some sense, eh?" "Isn't it grand?" "Now we have a beautiful home and we can settle down." "That's marvelous." "And if we should ever separate, my little plum," "I want to give you one little bit of fatherly advice." "Yes, Pop." "Never give a sucker an even break."