"Hey." "You ready?" "Hm?" "Ah, all right." "All right." "Secret sign." "Hey." "Ryan?" "Very good." "Excellent, excellent." "Michael." "Today, at lunchtime, we are going to be playing the warehouse staff in a friendly little game of basketball." "My idea." "The last time I was down there, I noticed they'd put up a couple of hoops." "And I play basketball every weekend, so I thought, pfff, this might be kinda fun." "And so I start messin' around." "And, uh, I'm sinkin' a few." "You know?" "Swish, swish, swish." "Nothin' but net." "And, uh, their jaws just drop to the floor." "African-Americans." "Um..." "But, you know, it's really just, uh, a good friendly game." "A reason for everybody to get together." "Pam-Pam, thank you ma'am!" "Messages, please." "Thank you." "Michael, can I talk to you for a second, please, privately?" "Uh..." "In your office?" "I think I should be on the team." "No." "And that's not me being mean, Dwight." "That is based on your past behavior." "Oh, please." "When I let him, uh, come to my pick-up game." "I apologized for that." "I vouched for you." "Michael..." "I vouched for you in front of Todd Packard, Dwight." "All right, here's what I'm gonna do." "The hand strikes and gives a flower." "You are not going to play basketball." "Oh." "But..." "I need somebody to come in and take over the holiday and weekend work calendar." "I can handle that." "Good." "Excellent." "It'll be fun." "Yeah." "Because corporate, uh, wants somebody to be here on Saturday, and so we're gonna have to have a couple of people come in on the weekends." "And I know nobody's gonna wanna do it." "And everybody's gonna complain and bitch, and I don't wanna have to deal with it." "And that's why you have an Assistant Regional Manager." "Yes, it is." "Assistant to the Regional Manager." "Same thing." "No, it's not." "It's lower, so..." "It's close." "So we need someone to work this Saturday." "And I think that that should be..." "Jim." "God, this is so sad." "This is the smallest amount of power" "I've ever seen go to someone's head." "Phyllis, can you believe this?" "Keep me out of it." "My fiance has plans for us this Saturday, so I really hope Dwight doesn't make me work." "Maybe I should sleep with him." "I'm kidding." "Kidding." "Totally kidding." "All right." "Managing... by walkin' around!" "This is our warehouse, or, as I like to call it, the "whoorehouse."" "But don't you call it that." "I've earned the right." "Fine." "Don't worry about that." "And here we have Mitta Roger's neighborhood." "Come on over here." "Hey!" "This is Ryan." "He's temping' upstairs." "What's up?" "And this is the foreman, Mitta Rogers." "That's not my real name." "No." "It's Darryl." "Darryl is Mitta Rogers." "Darryl Rogers?" "Darryl Philbin." "Then Regis." "Then Rege." "Then Roger." "Then Mitta Rogers..." "Then Mitta Rogers." "And that is Lonny." "And this is Roy." "Roy dates Pam." "You know, the, uh, the best-lookin' one upstairs." "Yeah, yeah." "You still gettin' it regular, man?" "Huh?" "I mean, I can tell her it's part of the job." "Rapport." "No, n-n-no, I know that the warranty's expired, but isn't it supposed to last longer than two years if it isn't defective?" "Okay, fine, three years." "Pam gets a little down." "Her toaster oven broke." "Um, which she got at her engagement shower, um, for a wedding that still has yet to be set." "And that was three years ago." "So!" "Um, 1:00 sharp and we've got a game on." "We're loading' at 1:00." "Oh, I see." "You're, uh, you're chickening' out." "You're bailin' on me." "No, we got a truck goin' out at 1:15, so..." "Uh-huh." "That's the busy time." "Oh, well, I'm glad that some time is a busy time, because whenever I'm down here, doesn't seem too busy to me." "Ha huh." "Oh." "Oh." "You can dish it out, but you can't take it." "Okay, fine." "Have it your way." "All right, fine." "You know what?" "Huh?" "1:00." "All right." "See you at 1:00." "Are we ready for the game?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I know, grumble, grumble." "But you would follow me to the ends of the earth, grumbling' all the way." "Like that, uh, dwarf from Lord of the Rings." "Gimli." "Nerd." "That is why you're not on the team." "Just tryin' to be helpful." "I'll help." "I'm a dragon slayer." "Uh, ten-point power sword." "Voom!" "Voom!" "That's him." "Okay, so let's put together a starting lineup, shall we?" "Stanley, of course." "I'm sorry?" "Um..." "What do you play, center?" "Why "of course"?" "Uh..." "What's that supposed to mean?" "I don't know." "I..." "I don't remember saying that." "Uh, I heard it." "Well, people hear a lot of things, man." "Um..." "Other starters..." "Me, of course." "I heard it that time." "I'd like to play." "If it's just for fun." "I played basketball in school." "Um..." "Yeah, who else?" "We have Jim." "We have Ryan, the new guy." "All right, untested, willing to prove himself right now." "A lot of passion, A lot of heart." "But I'm getting paid to skip lunch, right?" "Yes." "Okay." "Yes, this is business." "The, uh, the business of team building and morale boosting." "Ah, who else?" "I can help out if you need me." "I will use your talents come baseball season, my friend." "Or if we box." "I have a hoop in my driveway." "No." "I have a sports bra." "No, no!" "Ridiculous!" "Michael, look." "Hoo, hoo, hoo." "Close." "All right, uh, me, Stan the man," "Jim, Ryan, and Dwight." "Yes!" "Sorry, Phyllis." "Can I be team captain?" "No, I'm team captain." "Can I be team manager?" "No, I am the team manager!" "You can be assistant to the team manager." "Assistant team manager?" "No." "Okay, we'll see who's working this weekend then." "Jim, you're in charge of the vacation schedule now." "Oh, my God." "Threat neutralized." "Off the backboard!" "Ho-ho-ho-ho." "Please don't throw garbage at me." "Oh, Pam with a zinger." "Hey, Pam, how would you like to be our cheerleader today?" "You know?" "Some, uh, pigtails." "Little, uh, halter top." "You could tie that up." "And, you know, somethin' a little just youthful, for a change, just this once." "I don't think so, Michael." "Besides, I can't cheer against my fiance." "I'll do it." "Wear a little flouncy skirt if you want, and..." "Yeah, I bet you would." "Just try not to be too gay on the court." "And by gay, I mean, um... you know, not in the homosexual way at all." "I mean the, uh, you know, like the bad at sports way." "I think that goes without saying." "Maybe Angela would cheerlead." "Oh, yeah, right." "I'll do it." "Oh, yuck!" "That's worse than you playing." "'Cause you know what, we need you as an alternate, in case somebody gets hurt." "That's where we need you." "Blessed be those who sit and wait." "You made it!" "Suit up." "You're on the team!" "All right." "Cool!" "Very good." "Uh-oh, uh-oh." "It's a spy from the warehouse." "Tryin' to figure out our plays, huh, man?" "Just gettin' a tea bag." "Ooh." "He's runnin'." "He's runnin'!" "He's runnin', but he can't hide, because you know what?" "1:00, you better bring your "A" game." "Because me and my posse guys are gonna be in your face." "Right in your face!" "Why don't we make it more interesting?" "Loser buys dinner at Farley's." "Oh-ho, I like the way you think." "Yeah." "You know what, I'm gonna take that one step further." "Loser works on Saturday." "No..." "That's not as much fun." "You know what?" "Oh!" "What?" "You on." "Okay." "Cool!" "You're on." "Don't screw this up." "Classic beginner's mistake, eating before a game." "Tck!" "Has anyone seen the first aid kit?" "How many times have I told you?" "I'm the safety officer." "Not you." "Basketball was kinda my thing in high school." "And I'm..." "Yeah." "I'm looking forward to playing." "You know, I think I'm gonna impress a few people in here." "You comin' down?" "Yeah, I'm just forwarding the phones." "You gonna wish me luck?" "Yeah, you're gonna need it." "Whoa." "Is that trash talk from Pam?" "I'm just saying, Roy is very competitive." "Oh." "And he wants to take the waverunners to the lake this Saturday, so..." "Wow." "Well, I'm goin' to the outlet mall on Saturday." "So if you wanna save big on brand names and Roy has to work, which he will, because I'm also competitive, you should feel free to come along." "Um, I think I'm gonna be up at the lake." "I think I'll see you at the mall." "Yeah." "Hey." "There he is." "Secret weapon!" "All right, you guys." "Come on." "Let's bring it in." "Here we go." "Okay." "Listen, this is just going to be a friendly game, right?" "We are all on the same team here." "The Dunder Mifflin team." "Of course, if you beat us, you're fired." "That's a joke." "Okay!" "Let's do it!" "Have a good game, man." "Yeah, you too." "Should be fun." "All right, everybody, stretch out a little bit." "Stretch it." "Full stretch." "Ryan, you want to stretch?" "I stretched before I came." "Okay, Ryan, you have Darryl." "I have Roy." "Really?" "I thought I'd take Roy." "No, actually, I think Roy's their best player, not Lonny." "So Dwight, you have the East German gal." "Um, okay." "All right, you guys?" "Okay, we'll be skins." "Oh, come on, Dwight." "What?" "Shirts, on or off?" "On." "Just put it on." "You sure?" "Yes." "Pam, you kind of have your foot in both camps here." "Why don't you do the jump ball, okay?" "Don't listen to him, Pam." "Trust me." "Tip it my way or you're sleeping in the car." "Stanley!" "What?" "You gotta be kidding me!" "Here we go!" "Who's on him?" "Who's on him?" "Somebody get him!" "That's what I'm talking about." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." "Over here!" "Over here!" "Three!" "Let's go to zone." "Let's go in the zone!" "Defense!" "Defense!" "Defense." "Defense." "Who's got him?" "Who's on Roy?" "Whoo!" "Oh, come on!" "What is wrong with me today?" "Usually hit those." "Dwight, I was open." "All right, let's go." "Oh." "Okay, foul." "Charging." "Charging." "That's a foul." "Okay, I'll take it." "When I am playing hoops, all of the stress and responsibility of my job here just melts away." "It's gone." "Three!" "I'm in the zone." "What's with me today?" "Who am I?" "Am I Michael Scott?" "I don't know." "I might just be a basketball machine." "What's Dunder Mifflin?" "I've never heard of it." "Filing, paperwork?" "Who cares?" "Possible downsizing." "Um..." "Well, that's... that's probably going to happen, actually." "Jim!" "Jim!" "Jim!" "Right here!" "Jim, give me the ball." "Ryan, cut." "My bad." "Here we go." "They don't want none of that." "There you go." "There you go." "Uh, uh, uh." "Where you at?" "Where you at?" "Where you at?" "Uh." "Oh." "You over there?" "I'm over here." "Yeah." "Mm." "Here." "Uh." "That is cool." "Is that like the robot?" "Come here." "There's no free throws." "Can we just do one?" "That's cool." "That's fine." "All right, let's go." "Don't get hurt." "Back off, man!" "Come on!" "Hey, Dwight." "Dwight." "Yeah!" "In your face!" "Yeah, like that counted." "Hey!" "Hey, you know what?" "Dwight." "Dwight." "Football is like rock and roll." "And basketball is like Jazz, you know?" "It's in the pocket." "Harlem Globetrotter." "All right, time." "Time out." "Come on, sales." "Over here." "Bring it in!" "Come on!" "What's goin' on?" "What is goin' on?" "You guys are playing like a bunch of girls." "You know what, let me take Roy." "All right, we'll switch." "Take it up a notch." "Come on." "Shoot it." "Shoot it." "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" "Foul." "Naked aggression." "Oh, that is..." "You all right, Jim?" "Suck it up." "He's afraid of you now." "Ouch!" "Oh, how much does it hurt?" "How much does it hurt?" "Yes!" "What the hell, man?" "Take it easy." "No, you take it easy." "Watch the long passes, you guys." "Same team, Dwight." "Dwight." "Yes!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "In your face!" "Hazel, what's the score?" "You're ahead." "Yeah, baby!" "Here we go!" "Jim." "Jim." "Right here." "Ow, God!" "Okay!" "Foul!" "Foul!" "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "You all right?" "God!" "Oh, that hurts." "I'm sorry, I didn't..." "What's your problem, man?" "I didn't mean to do..." "God!" "Just clocking me for no reason." "Take your shot, man." "No, no, no, no." "That was a flagrant personal intentional foul." "Right there." "No, it wasn't." "Yes, it was." "You know what, I'm just being fair." "No, really, you were bearing down on me." "No, no, no, no." "I just put my arm up..." "Game over!" "Game over!" "Game over!" "That is it." "I'm sorry, you know?" "I hate to do it this way, but, you know, that's just..." "We were having a friendly game." "It's a shame." "This is a damn shame." "But, you know, we're like a family here and that's just..." "that won't fly." "This is a cold pack." "Here, give me that." "You have to break the interior bag." "Thanks, Dwight." "Wait, what does that mean?" "What is it, a tie?" "What's going on?" "Well, let's just say whoever was ahead won." "That was you." "That was us, really?" "I didn't..." "I didn't know." "Great." "I mean, I guess you guys working Saturday." "Your face." "No, no, no." "I'm not coming in on Saturday." "Yeah, this isn't happening." "Uh..." "Well, guys, you know..." "I am the boss." "So what... what's that?" "We... we coming in on Monday, right?" "Monday?" "You guys believed me?" "Come on." "Dawgs, you know, you should know me better than that." "Do you think that would've been good for morale?" "No." "No." "No." "Exactly." "No." "I'm embarrassed it was even that close." "No, of course, we're coming in Saturday." "Good game." "Word." "So I talked to this gal." "Looks good." "I haven't signed anything." "Hey, baby." "Hey." "Look at Larry Bird." "Larry legend." "Yeah, he's, uh, he's pretty good, huh?" "Let's get you into a tub." "Yeah, let's get you in a tub." "Hey!" "What a game, huh?" "What a game." "What time do we have to come in?" "Come on." "Let's not be gloomy here, man." "We're all in this together." "We're a team." "You know what?" "Screw corporate." "Nobody's coming in tomorrow." "You have the day off." "Like coming in an extra day is going to prevent us from being downsized." "Have a good weekend." "The great thing about sports is that it is all about character." "And you can learn lessons about life even if you don't win." "But we did because we were ahead."