"Ah!" "Say it." "Say it!" "You're the man." "Oh, you're the man!" "Oh, my God." " Ew." " Gross." "Your place depresses me." "The walls are sticky with loneliness." "I'm disgusted with myself... every time." "Why am I fucking you?" "You fancy yourself a nice guy, Joe... but you're not." "You're a deeply angry and resentful man... because the world hasn't appreciated you the way you think you deserve." "And right now, there's no one you resent more than me." "So in fucking me, you get a small leak in that overinflated resentment balloon... and it gives you some relief." "I've given this some thought." "Feels good, doesn't it?" "See you next Tuesday." "See you next Tuesday." "I see what you did there." "The NFFE said they can't help us now that we're private." "And a lot of the big unions won't rep security workers." "So what's our option?" " We form our own." " Just us?" "That's the lamest union ever." "We'll have no power." "Got no power now." "This one time in middle school," "I staged a walkout, all right, to get more pizza days." "Got suspended for two days." "The squeaky mouse is cat food, all right?" "Just saying." "What the fuck is going on here?" "We're unionizing." "That's the boss, dummy." "It's Caputo." "He's one of us." "Our new private overlords nixed our union memberships." "Fine print in the startup paperwork." "Sneaky bastards." "Same size as the rest of the print." "Clearly stated." "You knew about this?" "Yeah..." "because unlike the rest of you," "I actually read something before I sign it." "How about you count your blessings that you all got rehired?" "Could be bagging groceries down at the Stop and Shop." "I am bagging groceries at the Stop and Shop." "Every weekend." "Yeah, I work security at Riverside Mall." "This troll manager at Best Buy says I'm lacking people skills." "But really, I think he's just threatened by my height." "Okay..." "I get it." "I get that this is a financial strain." "Listen, guys, we're six weeks in." "You gotta prove that you're valuable before you can start demanding shit." "They've turned you." " Corporate wonk." " Pod person." "Okay, Norma Rae, out of my way." "I need a goddamn cup of coffee." "These are work hours." "Rabble-rouse on your own time." "Let's go!" "Come on!" "And the 175-pound weight class goes to the Richmond Wolverines!" "Yeah, Wolverines!" "A hero is not just a guy who runs into burning buildings." "It's also a person who shows us what it means to be a decent human being." "Now, none of yous agreed to wrestle that kid from Central today." "Kendall, uh... something." "I get it." "It's embarrassing to grapple with..." "The coach tells me his one dream in life is to wrestle." "And who stepped up?" "Our number-one seed, Joey Caputo." "He didn't have to." "Joey's got nothing to prove." "But he still volunteered." "Now that is a hero." "Look at that kid." "Look how happy he is." "Hey, special kids got feelings too, right?" "I'm gonna let him feel like he's really doing it." "You're a good man, Joey." "And next up, we have an exhibition match between two very special wrestlers." "Joseph Salvatore Caputo and Kendall Barnes." "Let's give a big round of applause!" "I'm a champion!" "I'm a champion!" "Yeah, Joey!" "You're amazing." "No, he is." "All right, go easy on me, buddy." "No way." "Show 'em what you got, Kendall!" "Huh?" "I'm a champion!" "I'm a champion!" "Fuck." "There goes States." "Here you go." "It's for all of us." "Great, thanks." "You must stand at count under Code 320." "Hey, Space Admiral." "Double shocker." "Back in your bunks." " Rice?" " Yeah?" "Sara Rice?" "I got your pack-out clothes and your release paperwork." "What are you waiting for?" "You want out or not?" "Get moving." "Who do they think you are?" "Someone with my same last name." "See, it's her name with my ID number." "That new guard don't know anybody." "She thinks it's me." "Holy shit, this is a miracle!" "Praise Norma!" "Is she maxing out?" "Yup, Sara Rice is outta here." "No strings." "Free Rice." "I'm starting to feel bad." "Fuck that bitch." "You really think they'll let me out?" "There's only one way to know." "You gotta try." "If they let me go, then I'm gone." "Hmm." "Oh, Lordy." "What's that?" "Nothing." "You know, I never thought about it, but you and the Admiral share some definite similarities." "What's this whole Admiral thing?" "Why does everyone keep calling me that?" "Give me that." " Give me that." " Don't lose my place... all right?" "This is fucking crazy." "Oh, God, not again!" "I'm not gonna hurt you." "You just stay right there." "Okay, I'm not moving." "Listen..." "I just..." "I just wanna say that I'm sorry." "Okay?" "I feel bad." "I did not mean to hit you." "Oh, it kind of felt like you did." "Are you gonna dime on me?" "I mean, I know you don't have a whole lot of reason not to." "But..." "I was hoping that you could see that my apology is sincere." "Let me make it up to you personally and not end up in Seg or down the hill." "Is this some kind of enhanced interrogation technique?" "Who sent you?" "Okay." "I'm gonna come clean." "I'm not NSA." "I'm CIA." "Oh, you expect me to believe that?" "It's complicated." "May I?" "What they don't know is..." "And by "they," I mean, you know, "they,"" "like, the real "they..."" "is that I'm actually a double agent." "And they don't know?" "That is why I had to beat you up, to throw them off-track." "If they find out we're working together, they'll take me out." "Oh, and if they get to you, they can redouble you." "Turn you back." " Exactly." " Oh!" "That is why we can't call attention to our little incident." "There's a lot at stake here." "I need your silence so that we can continue the work." "Yeah, man." "And thank you for getting me that Vagisil." "'Cause this was just so itchy." "Thank you." "Hey... now you gotta really get me the Vagisil." "You know, like, so we can..." "You know, just to cover up, 'cause..." "On it." "Yo, where are my donuts?" "Not today." "Girl, did I not tell you to suck a dick and get me some goodies?" "Chop-chop, little lady." "Hey... what's the matter with you?" "Nothing, my stomach just hurts today." "I don't feel like talking about snack foods." "Besides, I'm getting real presents from him now." "Oh..." "Isn't that pretty?" "You know, like on the commercial where the husband surprises the wife?" ""Every kiss begins with Kay"?" "Yeah, um, no offense, but that looks like some 99-cent bin shit." "And it's gonna turn your wrist green." "Look, it already has, see?" "What the fuck?" " What happened?" " Nothing." "You're just jealous... 'cause it's gold-plated with real gold." " Did he hurt you?" " No!" "You know, sometimes when men get around boobies, they don't know how to act." "Okay?" "It's called hormones and stuff." "But I don't know if you know about that 'cause you're a muff muncher." "Did he force you?" "Well, I'm not gonna lie." "I mean, I could've used a bit of a warm-up." "Doesn't feel really good when you're not ready." "You know there's a word for that, right?" "No." "Nah, it's not his fault." "Mmm-mmm." "I was the one." "I was flirting too much, I was smiling, and I was really confusing." "Take that shit off your wrist right now." "He made a special trip to the mall for me." "It's not his fault!" "Fuck." "I just convinced Lolly that I was a CIA operative so that she wouldn't rat on me for attempting to choke her to death." "Pipes, I'm losing it." "I am totally spinning out." "Well... like the Kinks say..." ""Paranoia, the destroya."" "Well, there is a red under my bed... and a little yellow man in my head." "Mmm-hmm." "Sounds like it's..." "it's getting pretty bad." "I beat the shit out of a crazy person." "I imagine my death-by-shanking every waking minute and..." "I completely convinced myself that you were hooking up with that Stella chick." "She has a Ninja Turtle tattoo." "I know!" "And that annoying dingo-fucker accent." "Please tell me I have nothing to worry about." "You have nothing to worry about." "I'm sorry I've been so crazy." "Forgive me?" "I forgive you." " What happened to you?" " None of your business." "It was that fucking tranny's what happened." "People should know." "You didn't get locked up with a bunch of women so you could get beat on by a man." "I don't know what's going on with that dude, but he's raging out." "Who?" "Sophia?" "Sophia?" "She don't cause no problems." "Uh-uh." "There's something wrong with that he-she whatever." "Maybe his hormones are off." "He attacked Gloria." "This is a dangerous fucking situation." "None of us are safe." "Oops." "Better watch where you're going." "Ladies, I was missing a panty drop in my bunk this morning." "Sorry, kiddo." "Talk to our rep." "What are you talking about?" "We're exercising our collective bargaining rights." "You wanna renegotiate our contract, she's right over there." "What's going on?" "We don't work for ramen no more." "Fair pay for skanky pants." "Yeah, what she said." "Come back to me with a better deal, and we'll talk." "2-3-7-9." "Okay, you have $40 left in your commissary." "Here's a check for the remainder." "Sign the back and we'll give you cash." "There is a voucher for your bus ticket." "Fingerprints, please." "Sign here." "Hey, stranger." "Are you avoiding me?" " Yes." " Care to elaborate?" "I... don't know what to say." "I have a, um..." " An Alex?" " Yes, I have... an Alex." "Right, well, I'm crossing the picket line here, but..." "I've outdone myself." "Really." "Let me know when you want more." "Uh, I've been waiting in my bunk all morning for someone to come get me." " What time do I get to leave?" " What are you talking about?" "I'm supposed to be released today." "I gave away all my shit and everything." "You know anything about the inmates processing out today?" "Yeah, they left after count." "What about Sara Rice?" "Yup, they took her, too." "Then why is she standing in front of me?" "I don't..." "I don't..." "I don't know." "It's a miracle." "She got out?" "Out the blue?" "'Cause she believed." "Yo, Norma!" "You gotta hook a sister up." "She can do it for all of us." "I have faith, don't you?" "Praise Norma!" "Praise Norma!" "Here, I brought you these." "Um, here's a pencil and a can of mackerel." "Norma?" "I'm being bullied by your group." "I thought you should know that." "Oh, look, everyone, it's God's gift to Litchfield." "Shut up, Leanne." "I'm talking to Norma." "Look at her... with her perfect teeth, and her shiny skin, and her Pocahontas hair, thinking she's better than us." "I can't help it if I have Pocahontas hair, and it's not my fault you chose meth over teeth!" " Get the fuck out of here..." " Whoa, whoa, whoa!" " You stuck-up bitch!" " Oh, my God!" "How could you let this happen?" "I thought you were supposed to be about kindness." "You made me think that you care, but you don't!" "And you let a bunch of crazies speak for you." "Shut the fuck up, Soso!" "And you're all just a bunch of chicken-shit followers!" "What?" "Now I can't help you." "Get out of here, seriously." "Nice group you got here." "Congrats on nothing." "Don't worry." "I'll handle this." " Which one are you?" " I'm Space Admiral Rodcocker." "It was originally Donaldschlong." "I think I might've made a mistake by changing it." "I see why you were disturbed." "Yeah, and I don't know how she knew about my birthmark." "This is some sick stuff, Warren." "A writer does not search out a muse." "A muse appears." "And when that muse wears uniform pants that fit in all the right places," " it writes its..." " Okay, that's fine!" "How did you come up with all this pornography stuff anyway?" "I wrote it for Berdie's class." "Counselor Berdie Rogers, she told you to write this?" "It was an exercise." "She wanted us to use our imaginations." "Oh, this is the kind of stuff you do in drama class?" "Well, not really." "Berdie is more supportive of the murder stuff than she is the sex stuff." "Oh!" "Jesus..." "I knew there was something wrong with that woman." "Hey, so you're getting out, huh?" "Lucky." "But I thought you had a butt-load more time." " Nope." " No?" "Doggett here don't wanna get out 'cause she'd miss me too much." "Ain't that right, Doggett?" "Hey, can you pull in here?" "So just like that?" "I can go?" "That's how it works." "Okay, then." "Peace out, Penn." "I'm sorry about all that shit with Leanne." "I always liked you anyway." "Thanks, Ang." "Hey, ain't your name Sara?" "Yeah." "I call her "Ang" 'cause she reminds me of Angelina Jolie." "Don't you think?" " I don't see it." " I do." "Whatever." "Bye, Sara." "Bye, Penn." "Good luck." "Call the van, tell 'em to turn around." "What do you mean they're not answering?" "Who is it?" "Coates?" "No, don't call the station." "I'll handle that." "Get a message to Pearson, tell him I need to see him immediately." "Thank you." ""Sara Rice" has been dropped at the bus." "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "How does this happen?" "The computer assigned her name to Angie's ID number." "This is MCC's fancy new system." "We gotta call their IT guy." " Why didn't anyone catch this?" " New COs." "They don't know the inmates, or, apparently, how to check a photo ID." "It's a huge fuck-up." "This wouldn't have happened with senior staff." "Christ, I can tell you how many times a day Flores takes a dump." "I know when Warren is just excited versus having an episode." "These newbies, they don't even bother to learn names." "Should we contact the marshals?" "No." "Give me a minute." "Maxwell, not a word of this." "You know everybody here." " Who's in for organized crime?" " Me." "Nah, I need to pick the brain of a real criminal." "Somebody who's..." "more hardcore." ""Hardcore"?" "I worked with the Russian mafia." "We make the Italians look like guppies." "This about your little panty business?" " How do you know about that?" " You recruited my whole family." "They're all running the track in pink bikinis." "First, you don't ask me to wear them, and now you undervalue my criminal mastermind." "You know what?" "You really need to go fuck yourself." "I need your advice." " I want 10% off the top." " What?" "Your girls are rebelling." "You're paying them in sodium and MSG, and they want real money." "You haven't a clue how to do that." "And as for your one real resource, your partner, well, you're fucking around on her." "So it's only a matter of time before that blows up in your face." "Don't fuck where you eat, or shit where you fuck." "It's bad business." "Eight percent." "You need to get money into their commissaries." "And pay your girls a fair wage, huh?" "Mmm-hmm." "You know what Green Dot MoneyPak cards are?" " No." " No, of course you don't." "They're cash top-up cards." "You're gonna need a cell phone." " Where am I gonna get a cell phone?" " Oh, the place is crawling with them." "I found one in the bathroom once." "Cell phones are like roaches." "You see one, you'll know there's another 100 hidden in the walls." "Okay." "Five other inmates in there with the wrong numbers." "This is the same operating system we use at all of our prisons." "Yeah, well, you're lucky you caught it now" " because, clearly, it blows." " Yeah, this is bad." "This is really bad." "I can't protect you on this one, Joe." " Me?" " Yeah." "You're in charge of camp." "Shows a big lack of oversight." "Yeah... it does." "'Cause the fish stinks from the head." "And I am not the head." "I am actually down by the gills somewhere." "So, once I call the police and the U.S. Marshals, and the DOC investigators start sniffing around, it's going to look a lot worse for the Director of Human Activity here at Litchfield." " Whoa, whoa." " Whoo, whoa, whoa." " Yeah, whoa." "Slow down." " Yeah." "Why do we have to involve all those people in this?" "We have an escaped convict!" " Let's just go get her back." " Who?" "You and me." " Where did they take her?" " The bus station in Utica." "Let's just get in a car." "We'll go get her." "Bring her back." "You know, nobody has to know." "So you're saying the two of us should go and apprehend an escaped convict?" "This is not the fucking Bloodhound Gang, okay?" "Well, I don't know what to do." "I honestly don't know what the fuck to do!" "Do you know how I got this job?" "My dad is one of the SVPs at MCC." "Yeah." "This is gonna be worse than when I got kicked out of Ohio University." "I have no idea what I'm doing." "Fine!" "I'll go." "On my own." "Yeah?" "Someone needs to stay here and keep a lid on things." " Great." " Fuck it." "If I can get her back, no one needs to know, all the better." "You're saving my ass, Joe." "Nah..." "I'm saving my ass." "Here's to the new opening act for the East Coast tour of Glass Tiger." " Hell, yeah!" " All right!" "Soon to be the headliners!" " The Jeff Spurber Band!" " Right on." " We need a new name." " I like our name." "Of course you like our name, you're Jeff Spurber." "But you're the tambourine player, dude." "I'm the lead singer." "If we're gonna be named for someone, it should be me." " It's my garage." " Hey!" "If Hank and I can get along after the shit he pulled, you guys can work it out." "We're looking at ten months on the road." "Let's enjoy it." "Come on, this is a huge fucking deal for us." "Come on." "Come on." " Lis." " Hank." "Joey, you got a second?" " Could we talk outside?" " Yeah, babe." "Are you sure?" "Four months." "So it's... it's a real thing..." "Floating around in there?" "How big is it?" "Like an avocado." "Jesus!" "An avocado?" "It's great!" "It's great." "Lisa, we're gonna have a baby!" " Joey, do the math." " What?" "Four months ago, we were broken up." "I was with Hank." "Four months ago was July." "What are you..." "What are you sayin'?" "It's his?" "Yeah." "Does he know?" "I wanted to tell you first." "I've been so guilty about everything I put you through, and... now that we're back together, I..." "This is so fucked up." "You have every right to hate me." "I love you." "I just thought you should know because you guys are going on tour and..." "I won't go." "I'll stay here." "You have to go!" "This is your big break!" "That's not why I told you." "Fuck it, they can do it without me." "Fuck it." "Joey, you can't do that." "We'll be fine." "I'm gonna move back in with my parents." "I already asked for more shifts at Paddy's." "I'm staying here." "I'm gonna take care of you and this baby." "I'll tell them right now." "You stay and Hank goes?" "Joey, why would you do that?" "It makes no sense." "I love you." "I wanna marry you." "I wanna have a family with you." "Hey!" "Me and you... and Avocado." "Aleida's full of shit sometimes, but I believe her." "I do, too." "They said she tried to chop it off herself." "Hmm." "Oh, I heard she's off her meds and her penis is growing back." "I heard she was an ultimate fighter before she turned into a chick." "Well, you heard wrong." "But I will happily go all UFC on your ass if you keep spreadin' that shit." "Taystee." "Where'd you get that weave, girl?" "Don't tell me you went to Danita." "I thought I'd switch it up." "She ain't bad." "Ain't bad?" "I can see those tracks from down the hallway." "Look, other people gotta make a living, too." "My salon has been empty all day." "You think I don't know those Spanish girls been spreading shit about me?" "I don't wanna get involved." "What's wrong with you?" "What's wrong with all of you?" "Acting like a bunch of stupid, transphobic bitches!" "You know what the worst part of becoming a woman is?" "Having to participate in this catty, backstabby bullshit!" "You don't wanna get your hair done?" "You wanna whisper behind my back?" "Then fuck you!" "Fuck all of you!" "We're in business." " No way." "Whose?" " Mmm-hmm." "I've no idea." "There's probably 50 of 'em in here." "This place is crawling with contraband." "You know, I found a blunt, a lighter, and a shank made out of Jolly Ranchers." "Why do you need a phone?" "To transfer money." "Each girl is gonna get a prepaid card on the outside, give me a 14-digit code, and then I can wire money directly into her account with the touch of a button." "It's called MoneyPak." "Yeah, I know what it's called." "I'm a drug dealer." "Pipes, this is what prison gangs do." " I know!" "It's brilliant, right?" " No." "This was a silly distraction, so we could have some fun and make a few bucks." "What you're talking about now is a crime network, okay?" "This is the kind of shit that landed me in here." "So you'll be extra good at it." "Uh-uh." "I'm serious, Pipes." "I'm not up for taking this thing next level." "What happened to that scary, professional felon I fell in love with, huh?" "She was so hot." "Seriously, grow up." "Put one between your knees and one under your belly." "Here." "Why you being so nice?" "'Cause I know where you're at." "And, listen... when your real contractions start..." " Okay." " You gotta just surrender." "'Cause the more you fight that shit, the worse it gets." "And it also helps if you moan." "Low, low, like a cow, like..." "I don't know why, but something about opening your throat makes everything else open up, too." "And pushing feels like shitting, like you're taking a giant shit." "Ew!" "That's so gross!" "And when they tell you that they can see the head," " you got to back off..." " The head?" "And you gotta go slow so that you don't tear your shit up, you know?" "Stop it, stop it." "I don't even wanna think about that." "I'm just glad everything's gonna be over soon." "Not really." "You're gonna have a baby for the rest of your life." "No, I'm giving it away." "What?" " To who?" " To this lady that's been visiting me." "She's really nice, has a lot of money, and... my mom thinks I should do it, so..." "Aleida?" "What are you, fucking crazy?" "It ain't right for me to keep a baby if I'm not gonna be around." "So you're saying I did the wrong thing, huh?" "You don't even get to see her anymore." "Yeah, but at least I know that she's with her family." "I would give anything to see my baby for five minutes, and you're gonna give yours away?" "To a stranger?" "You know, I may be a fucked-up mom, but at least I didn't sell mine to the highest bidder." "Yo, give me my fucking pillow back." "I hope she rips you wide open." "What happens if they fire us before we get officially approved as a union?" "Or so they don't get sued, they start enforcing weird rules." "You know, pin it on that." "These guys are wily." "This is how corporations been intimidating people since the beginning of time." "You know, people died for the eight-hour work day, man." ""Not being heard is no reason for silence."" "That's deep." "It's from Les Mis." "We watched it last night." "Poor Russell Crowe." "The guy sings like a dead carp getting a blowjob." "What about a blowjob?" "We're having a union meeting." "Oh, that sounds like a lot less fun." "If you knew what was good for you, you'd join us." "Don't see any need to rock the boat." "No, no, come to a meeting, at least." "No, thanks." "It's at Freddy's Bar." "$2 shots if you use the code word "union."" "Well, in that case..." "What do we want?" "Jäger." "When do we want it?" "Now." " This is insane." " It's not insane, Joe." "It's, uh... it's plucky." " Right." " And don't worry about camp." "I'm handling shit over here." "There's a new sheriff in town." "I'm cracking heads, taking names." "I thought you were just holding down the fort." "Well, yeah." "Apparently, the fort has been corrupted by one Berdie Rogers." "This is surprising to me." "Well, the stuff she's encouraging in her class, I mean..." "After the sexual-harassment training, we just can't tolerate this." "Please hold off." "We need to review." "Already taken care of, buddy." "You're a good man, Joe Caputo." "Probably, uh... probably too good for the job you're doing." "The Olympics have been on here 24/7." "I'm partial to the diving, myself." "You seen that 13-year-old Chinese kid win the high dive?" "Fu something?" "Amazing shit." "Boy, it's the parents that kill me when I watch the coverage." " You got kids?" " Uh, I've got one on the way." " Ah, congratulations." " Yeah, thanks." "That's why I took the job, for the benefits." "Well, you get decent coverage." "Vision and dental's a little spotty, but it's better than nothing, especially if you got a little one coming." "Sorry about the smell." "It's the pipes." "They don't fix shit around here." "Come on, this is the TV room." "There's lots of fighting over the channel, so each group gets their time." "Rosa here knows the drill." "The whites got the mornings till 10:00." "Then the blacks and the Spanish take over at lunch." "Keeps rotating like that." "But me?" "I watch what I want, when I want to." "You like wrestling?" "Oh, yeah, uh..." "I used to compete." "I dislocated my shoulder, and that ended that." "Huh, so that could've been you." "I guess." "In a parallel universe." "Ha! "Parallel universe." That's good." "Come on, let me show you the dorm." "All right, ladies, I've heard your complaints, and I have made arrangements for everybody to get paid, cash money." "Someone on the outside will pick up a cash card." "Get me the number, and then we'll start depositing funds into your accounts." "I'm offering you eight bucks a pair, and I'm holding you all to quality control." "There is no cutting corners." "What about benefits, huh?" " Benefits?" " Yeah." "Yeah, what about all the, uh, flavor packets?" " We are full-time employees." " Mmm." "All right, everybody gets one chicken and one beef a week until I'm out." "I don't wanna wear the bikinis anymore." "They ride up my butt." "And Jones will only be wearing boy shorts." "I want a thong." "Jesus Christ." "Anybody else?" "Good." "Congratulations." "You are all now official employees." "Oh, pussy pennies!" "We're in the money!" "Ka-ching!" "You can all thank me for that." "Oh, and Flaca... you're fired." " What?" " Oh, shit." "You can't do that." "I can do whatever I want." "Get out." "And remember, you will be costing each one of your closest friends hundreds of dollars a month if you so much as open your mouth." "So I suggest that you leave quietly." "You're fucked up." "Bye-bye." "Heard you got busted." "Healy was mad." "He confiscate it?" "Yo, fuck him, man." "Start over." "Or write a sequel." "Make it a three-parter like Hunger Games." "No." "I feel lighter." "And all those fans with their ideas..." "My head was gonna explode." "So, you quitting?" "Whatever then." "I don't think the people even like me." "They just like my story." "You don't like me." "Yeah, true, but that ain't my fault." "I mean, you beat the shit out of me, cracked one of my ribs." " I got a right to hold a grudge." " No, I was protecting Vee." "Vee didn't need protection." "Vee was a thug." "She preyed on you." " You think I'm stupid." " I think you're vulnerable." "Yeah, well..." "Vee treated me like a person." "Everybody else thinks I'm a joke." "She loved me." "People need love." "I know." "I'm sorry I hurt you." "Heard you're in a bit of hot water." "Temporary leave while MCC does an independent investigation." "I had nothing to do with that erotica." "She wrote it for your class." "No, she thinks she wrote it for my class, because that's the way children think." "I've worked with a lot of kids in the foster system." "She's functioning like a six-year-old." "A perverted six-year-old, but a six-year-old." "You know, it takes a long time to find the boundaries with these girls." "And it's not for everyone." "This is what you wanted, isn't it?" "You've had it in for me since I started here." "I merely passed along information that was brought to me." "What exactly is your real issue?" "See..." "I can't quite pin down whether you're a misogynist, or a racist, or a winning combination of the two." "You foster inappropriate relationships, you walk around here like you own the place." "You come in here every week with a different hairstyle, and your class is a festering incubator of deviance!" "You're a vengeful little man, aren't you?" "But I'll be back." "Because I am good at what I do." "Shit!" "Let's go, Rice." "Can I finish my soda?" "Come on, man." "You're about to take me back to prison." "What the fuck are you still doing here?" "I didn't know where to go." "I only got a voucher to Jersey, and I don't know anyone there." "I guess I should've walked to the Amtrak station, but I only got 40 bucks." "Did it not occur to you that we'd come after you?" "I don't know." "I kept a pet frog in the laundry for eight months, and no one ever noticed." "Things are always crazy over there." "But freedom feels weird." "I guess I'm not very good at this whole escaping thing." "I can run." "You don't got a gun or nothing." "You didn't bring any cops?" "Yeah, well... you can come with me now without an argument and spend a few nights in Seg... or I can call the cops and take you back forcibly, in which case you leave me no choice but to charge you with attempted escape... and extend your sentence." "I'm doing you a solid here." " I ain't gonna say thank you." " Well, you should." "So you wanna look like a big shot, huh?" "Get all the glory yourself?" "Come on." "Let's go." "Up and at 'em." "You tell me one person would've turned down the opportunity I got." "One person." "I do see your point." "What if I suck your dick?" "You're still going back." "Come on, let's go." "So, is that a yes or a no?" "No, thank you." "Let's go." "A frog?" "We named him Benny." "But then he suffocated and he died." "That's what happens in prison." "Oh, my God." "Hey, here's the man of the hour!" "Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Missing Meth Addict." " Sorry." " Yeah, well, she's in the SHU." "Poor kid..." "you can't blame her." "We got lucky this time." "It could've been a lot worse." "Uh, I don't know what I can do to thank you." "I want my guys back full time." "I want their old hours back." "And they need medical." "I've heard rumblings about union stuff." "Are you in on that?" "It's not a matter of being in on it or not." "You want employees to show up and do a good job, you..." " you gotta take care of them." " I get it." "I mean, everybody has a right to organize, but if MCC has to start covering benefits, the whole venture's gonna fold." "I mean... it's shortsighted, you know?" "We're all gonna be out of work." "Are you being straight with me?" "Or is that just union-busting jargon?" "I don't know about you, but I like having a job, Joe." "I respect that you look out for the underdog." "It seems like you're the kind of guy who does that a lot, but... how's that working out for you?" "I don't know." "Have you seen my car?" "Maybe it's time you stopped worrying about everybody else and did something for you." "That's what everybody else in America does." "It took me an hour to get her down." "She's stubborn as fuck." "What's this?" "You going somewhere?" "Hank's back in town." "They came home to record a new album." "Did you know they sold out their last tour?" "Yeah." "They're crushing it." "He came by yesterday." "He wanted to see her." " Now he wants to see her?" " Joey, he's her father." "I'm her father." "I'm the one who stuck around." "He's her real father." "He has a right to have a relationship with her." "You're leaving me for Hank." "He's doing really well for himself." "They made a big chunk of change on that Warner's deal." " He has ambition." " And I don't?" "I love him." "I always have." "You know that." "I wanna see if we could be a family." "You have a family." "I'm your family." "Joey, I really appreciate everything you've done for us, and I couldn't have done it without you." "And I love you, too, but... it's different." "I started that band." "Those guys wouldn't have even known each other if it wasn't for me." "I gave up everything." "I took a job in a prison, for fuck's sake." "Didn't know you were running a tab." "You know how depressing my life is?" "You think I wanna work a security job for 20,000 a year?" "I did this for you!" "No one asked you to!" " I was clear all along!" " I saved you!" "I didn't need saving!" "You'd still be slutting it up down at Paddy's if it wasn't for me." "That was ugly, Joe." "Take some responsibility for your choices." "Nobody got you here but you." "You can't spend your whole life holding the door open for people and then being angry when they don't thank you." "Nobody asked you to hold the fucking door!" "Great... you woke up the baby." "There you go." " What's all that for?" " Well, I, uh..." "I want you to go down on me." "What?" "Hell, no." "That's disgusting." "Yeah, but I'm feeling horny, so I'm buying you." "Look, there's some MM'S in there." "So let's go." "Get me off." " That's not funny." " I'm not joking." "You're for sale, so I'm purchasing your services." "Just, you know, check out, go to your happy place." "I'll be quick." "Stop that." "And maybe I'll sodomize you while I'm at it." "You know, stick a hairbrush up your ass." "Hold you down, pull your hair, maybe bite your neck." "Wouldn't that be fun?" "You might like that." "Why don't you try it, huh?" "Why don't you try that?" "Just let me have my fucking way with you." "Hey, I could tie you up." "We could maybe use your fucking T-shirt as a gag, huh?" "Would you stop it?" "I'm gonna do whatever I fucking want to you, and you're gonna lie down and you're gonna take it, because that's the way this works, isn't it?" "Isn't that it?" "Stop that." "Stop it." "I wanted to stop." "I wanted to stop so bad." "I wanted him to stop." "Good." "'Cause we're gonna get that motherfucker." "Come on." "It's okay." "You should've seen her face." "I mean, I got them." "They were all practically drooling over the money." "And then I turned to her in front of everybody, and I'm all..." ""Oh... and, by the way..." "Flaca, you're fired."" "That'll teach the little bitch not to instigate!" " That's gross." " No, it was badass." " I'm out." " What?" "I don't wanna be involved." "With what, the business?" "With any of it." "What you did to Flaca was weird, Piper." "She's poor." "A lot of these girls, they're poor." "Of course they were excited about money." "They're excited about a dollar-an-hour job." " Okay." " I don't like this version of you." "Well, maybe I don't like this version of you." "What version is that?" "The paranoid, needy version." "The judge-y version." "I mean, fuck, Alex, what is your problem?" "You have no idea what you're getting into." "You don't know who these people are, you don't know who they're connected to, and you're on some weird little power trip." "I am doing exactly what you did, and you cannot handle it because you're afraid I might be better at it than you are." "You probably are better at it now." "You're a natural." "I'm out, Pipes." "I'm out of that and..." "I'm out of this." "So, who's gonna rep us?" "We need to elect a leader." "Well, I'd do it, but somebody needs to explain to me how the whole thing works." "Holy shit, he's come around." "Dude!" "Now it's official." "What are you guys doing?" "Do you really wanna make an enemy out of MCC?" "You guys got yourself all riled up without really considering what it is you're doing." "We're re-unionizing." " And it feels so good." " Mmm-hmm." "Right." "What are your exact grievances?" "Hmm?" "Have you rallied at least 30% support from the employee base?" "Have you gotten them all to sign authorization cards?" "How do you guys expect to be taken seriously?" "Shit... you do know what you're talking about." "You should lead us." " That's a conflict of interest." " Uh-uh." "These corporate types are a different breed." "They're hurting us." "They're hurting our families." "We need a leader." "We need you, man." "We do." "We need you." "Well, for starters, stop meeting in the break room." "Don't give them a reason to squash you." "These guys are pros." "They will call a meeting." "It will seem optional, but it won't be." "And once they have you captive, they are going to feed you a bunch of BS about it being a friendly workplace." "And then they are going to use scare tactics to try and convince you that you're all gonna lose your jobs." "Don't fucking listen to 'em." "They need you more than you need them." "So, you in?" "I could be your guy." "I don't know about y'all, but I feel a "Hip, hip, hooray" coming on right about now." " Please don't." "Please don't." " Oh, yeah." "Oh, yeah." " No, it's coming." " Oh, yeah!" " Hip, hip!" " Hooray!" " Hip, hip!" " Hooray!" " Hip, hip!" " Hooray!" "Black people don't know this song."