"Once upon a time, ...when in the forests mushrooms and berries were in abundance, ...and there was fish in rivers and ponds, ...people lived in Mother Rus' ...in peace and prosperity." "But then suddenly, bad things ...started to happen." "Out of nowhere, ...a villain appeared, ...by the name of Nightingale the Robber." "Neither a rider, ...nor a pedestrian could escape him." "Burned and robbed he ...the russian villages." "Iliya!" "Well, help me now, ...good mother earth." "Good horse you have, Ilya!" "Will you sell it?" "It is no horse to me, ...but a loyal friend!" "Well, Iliya, just you wait, my time will come!" "Relax!" "Oh, thank you, Ilya Ivanovich!" "Don't leave us, hero!" "Come back again!" "" " Don't forget us, Ilushen'ka!" "Godspeed, and good luck!" "We will wait for you, our kind protector!" "I will be back." "What did he say?" ""I will be back!"" "So..." "This is for social purposes..." "This is for my personal guard..." "And this is "other expenses"..." "Too much for "other expenses"." "That's true, true." "What if we up the taxes?" "Say, let them pay not one tenth, ...but one fourth of income?" "What... what do you think?" "Perhaps we can reduce "other expenses"?" "Watch it!" "Are you, by any chance, ...a democrat?" "God forbid!" "Bless you, Knyaz!" "That's better!" "You watch your tongue!" "Is it true what people say, that you set Nightingale free again ...for a hundred gold pieces?" "These are matters of the state, and not your concern." "Am I a watchdog to you, ...to come running after every criminal, ...after you set him free over and over?" "How dare you!" "Are you out of your mind?" "Don't meddle in something that is not your business!" "I am a Knyaz, I shall do whatever I want!" "A-a-act in the country's best interest!" "Is that so!" "Thus, much good you can accomplish!" "That's it!" "I've had enough!" "Why, you!" "You got completely out of hand!" "Out!" "I will go, Knyaz, ...but in future, don't call ...for my help." "Period!" "Go, go!" "There are heroes in Rus' even without you." "Don't forget to leave your horse!" "What do you mean leave?" "Burushka?" "Is that possible, Knyaz!" "" " How else?" "The animal belongs to and is budgeted by the state." "No, you can buy him out, of course, ...if you have money." "Did you see?" "That we should come to this!" "Knyaz, there... there's, like, a chronicler ...for you." "Again?" "Told you not to let them in!" "So pestering..." "If you don't let them in they'll write something foul again!" "Well, should I let them in?" "Eh..." "Of course you should!" "Why do you even ask, you moron!" "Don't be sad, Burushka, ...I'll buy you out for sure." "I'll earn enough money!" "Why not?" "...I can plough, ...grow wheat..." "Don't be a smart ass." "Hey, Stepan!" "Brush his mane, ...but don't cut it!" "Or he'll have less strength, ...and you'll take a sin upon you." "Will be done, Ilya Ivanych!" "I saw a star falling last night." "A good sign." "I made a wish." "We'll be together again ...in no time." "Just you look at it!" "In the old times I'd shown who's the boss ...to those inksters!" "Into chains, to jail!" "And now people want to know the truth." "Care about the opinion of Europe!" "Oh..." "A chick!" "Hm-m, a hot one." "How did you get in here, sweety?" "I'm not a chick, I'm a chronicler!" "Weekly periodical "New Elm"!" "You... a chronicler?" "Yes!" "And I want to know why do I have no free access to the palace?" "!" "How come?" "!" "What's going on!" "Is it true you dismissed Ilya Muromets?" "They say he accused you of entering in a deal with Nightingale the Robber?" "That's a lie!" "Let him prove it first!" "True." "Innocent till proven guilty." "Ah..." "Er..." "Metaphorically!" "Get him out of here!" "Out!" "No sketching in the palace!" "You know what?" "What's your name?" "" " Alyonushka." "" " What a wonderful name!" "Well, Alyonushka, ...they won't let us have a talk here." "Let's go to my private room." "Do not put us to death, soul of the Russian land!" "How d'you like that?" "What is it now?" "The treasury, Knyaz, Your Grace!" "What's with the treasury?" "The goddamned vilian, the Nightingale, sir, he ...stole the Treasury!" "What're we gonna do now?" "Got it?" "I need a close-up!" "Having mustered up his courage, ...as well as gotten his mind in tune, ...his Highness the Knyaz put his mind on his problem:" "...what woul be the best way to have that damned thief caught, ...and get the looted back." "Get them!" "Bring them back!" "Send a hero after them!" "Don't send for thy executioner, Knyaz, ...but where shall we get one?" "Iliya Ivanovich headed home in anger." "Grievance nursing in his heart at Your Highness, Knyaz!" "Nightingale also took the stallion, ...the one of Ilya!" "Listen, Your Grace the Knyaz, ...what if we don't tell Ilya about the treasury, but only about his stallion?" "He's crazy about this horse, ...he'll go after him, ...and retrieve our treasury as well!" "That's right!" "Let's go to Ilyia right away!" "But watch it, not a word about the treasury!" "Listen, Knyaz, can I go with you to Ilya Ivanovich?" "I'm writing a chronicle." ""Russian heroes in everyday life"." "Ok." "Who let her in?" "You did order yourself, Knyaz." "It was before, I unorder it now!" "That's it!" "Take her away!" "Disgraced." "That's an outrage!" "Media suppression!" "Freedom to the press!" "Freedom to the press!" "Meanwhile Ilya is a-plowing the earth, ...and a-knitting puttees." "Obsessed by an only thought, ...which is to buy out his loyal friend form the Knyaz." "Come on, mum, ...I'm not tired at all." "Don't argue with me!" "You've grown so lean." "Mere skin and bone." "Here is what I think - it's about time you got married." "Whom?" "What's the difference?" "This girl, that girl..." "Take Varvara for example, the blacksmith's daughter." "Well-built, roses in her cheeks - that's it!" "These roses are from ... never leaving the forging furnace." "Ok." "Let's have a look at Glasha." "This one's worth looking at." "A girl like this is not to my taste." "Oh my, not to your taste!" "As if you are going to cook cabbage soup out of her!" "Come on, mother!" "A fly got into the milk guests are to come soon!" "It's a sure sign!" "A sign..." "You'll choose a wife after the signs as well?" "And why not?" "The fated will happen!" "I'll get a sign, ...when I meet my intended one." "A-a-ah!" "What a bother, there's a rider coming indeed!" "The Knyaz himself, no less." "Something must have happened, that's for sure." "Can it be the Knyaz himself to honor us so!" "Ah me, not dressed, not prepared!" "Misfortune!" "Oh, the misfortune!" "Fye on you, the dark yoke." "Blessed be with good health, ...Your Grace Knyaz of Kiev, ...hope of all the cities of Rus'!" "Mom!" "Iliya Ivanovich!" "Nightingale the Robber got out of hand again!" "What do I care?" "These are matters of the state, ...and not my concern." "Ah..." "Iliya Ivanovich, ...ah..." "But he dared to touch the holiest." "Your horse, Burushka, the long-maned, ...our own falcon, stolen from the stables!" "Stolen how?" "When?" "Yester-night." "Don't you leave the loyal friend!" "Follow him!" "Don't lose him!" "Good day to you, kind mother!" "Can you tell me where can I find the hero, by the name of Iliya of Murom?" "Only just he was here, plowing, ...and as the Knyaz arrived, mounted he the horse, ...and tore away like the wind." "M-m-m, I was late!" "And what is your relation to Iliya?" "Why, his mother, to be sure!" "Awesome!" "Can you tell me what does the mother of a hero feel, ...- is it pride for her son, anxiety, confusion?" "Ah..." "True are your words." "Anxiety!" "Forgot Ilusha to take his secret bundle!" "And I did not remind him!" "Oh, but you can give it to me!" "I will see him now for sure now!" "Come on, give it here!" "Don't you doubt." "They cut off his mane!" "The goddamned heathens!" "Ah-ah, what a misfortune, what a calamity!" "M-m-m!" "You, Knyaz, tell them to return my battle armor, ...and let them find me some horse, a stout one!" "I'm leaving tomorrow. " " You there, what are you waiting for, ...equip the russian hero for the dangerous voyage!" "For the good cause, I decided to go with you, Iliya Ivanovich." "I will help with you difficult heroic deed." "No way!" "I don't bring a baggage train with me!" "Iliya!" "I feel really uncomfortable!" "As if it is, kind of, my fault well, about Burushka being stolen..." "I said no." "I said yes." "I said no!" "I said yes!" "After all, it concerns the state's honor!" "God damn you!" "Ha!" "That's a good sign." "Well then, you got lucky, Knyaz." "But mind this, ...it will be just the two of us." "Go fast, travel light." "Agreed?" "Oh, come on." "Ah!" "What's the..!" "Don't be afraid!" "Come on!" "She doesn't want to go." "Stubborn!" "She's got.. a fear of heights!" "But she's fetlocked!" "How were you going to ride it?" "Really?" "I did not notice." "Oh!" "Aren't you Iliya of Murom?" "That I am." "Why, do you know me?" "Is there anyone who doesn't know you!" "Thank you, that was really helpful." "Don't mention it." "It's not a coincidence that we met, Iliya Ivanovich!" "What do you mean not a coincidence?" "Well, I'm writing a cronicle, the name is "Russian heroes in everyday life"." "My dream is to go on a campain with you!" "To save Burushka..." "On a campain?" "Well, yes." "And I also have an errand concerning you!" "From your mom." "Ah." "Where did I put it!" "The errand from my mom... (in the background:" "No, that's not it...) You know what, don't give me the runaround here." "But what about the campain, Iliya Ivanovich?" "How did they snoop about the treasury!" "They are our competitors." "Nothing is holy for them." "Here it is, freedom of the press!" "Ugh!" "" " Tell me about it!" "Tomorrow in all the morning cronicles they will write about the horse, and about the treasury..." "And what if Iliy Ivanovich will stumble on it accidentally?" "Bother!" "Hey, summon the executioner!" "Wait, Knyaz!" "The executeoner is no help here." "No axe can cut out what a pen has written about!" "Can't it?" "My executioner is a virtuoso..." "What would people say?" "Exactly!" "And I will fix the matter easily, ...if you take me on a campain with you!" "On a campain?" "!" "I'll write a chronicle about your bravery!" "I'll have my article, you'll have the respect!" "About my bravery?" "Well..." "Why not?" "Deal!" "Will Ilya Ivanovich object though?" "Ilya?" "Who is he, after all!" "I have scores like him!" "Hundreds!" "Then again, ...am I the Knyaz or not?" "What is this?" "Where?" "The personal guard!" "" " What guard?" "What did we agree on?" "Are you out of your mind, Ilya!" "What kind of a Knyaz travels without his guard!" "Is that a fact..." "So here it is!" "Caw!" " What - "caw"?" "" " Caw!" "Ah!" "I barely made it." "So, are we moving out?" "Is everyone here ...in conspiracy or something?" "Why?" "Let her come with us." "The more the merrier." "(aside) They used the spoiled sour cream." "Thieves." "We'll walk on foot from the fringe of the woods." "What do you mean on foot?" "I won't go anywhere on foot!" "Shall I send you, Knyaz, back to Kiev?" "Send me!" "Who do you think you are!" "To send the Knyaz anywhere!" ""...to send the Knyaz anywhere!"" "You know, Ilya," "...I have a forgiving nature." "Quick-tempered sometimes, but I don't bear grudges." "Uh huh!" "What now?" "Shhh!" "The birds went silent." "What do we care about the birds?" "We're not here to hunt." "An animal or a bird will always sniff the mischief." "We're not alone here." "Ah!" "You don't say!" "There, see - a pine cone fell on the path!" "Expect a snowfall before supper!" "People collected the signs for centuries!" "They always tell the truth!" "Am I a child to you, to listen to old wives' tales!" "Ha!" "The signs!" "Ilya Ivanovich!" "Ilya Ivanovich!" "Indeed, I do have an errand concerning you." "From your mom..." "Ilya Ivanovich!" "Tell me, is Nightingale ...your first name or last name?" "What made you set your feet on an uneven path of robbery and thievery?" "We didn't do it!" "Life did it!" "Hot hellcat!" "" " Tie her up, guys!" "We'll wait out the night here." "Here?" "You take a look around!" "There's a dead tree, and an owl is hooting, not a good sign." "Deadly spot." "What's that to you?" "You don't believe in signs." "Well, you know!" "You said it yourself - people collected the signs for centuries!" "And anyway, it feels uneasy here somehow." "" " That's it." "This discussion is over." "Time to sleep." "You keep the watch until midnight." "I?" "" " Yes, you." "What's so unusual about it?" "I will change you after midnight." "Everyone's equal here, got it?" "A democracy!" "Here you go." "Your democracy will lead to riot!" "" " Knyazhe!" "Don't you dare close your eyes!" "A-a-a-a-a-a!" "Well-well-well." "What kind of fish did we catch here?" "Looks like a merchant. " " Or a nobleman. " " Why, you!" "Illiterate peasants!" "Don't you see - the Knyaz is standing before you!" "Or, to put it right, you're standing before the Knyaz!" "Make obeisance!" "An uneducated hitman!" "Why you, a dressed-up pheasant!" "Look here!" "Nightingale the Robber himself left me in charge here, ...so you will tell me who you are at once, ...or your head is off the shoulders." "Didn't you hear, the Knyaz is standing before you!" "Order to unbind him at once, ...and pay homage!" "And maybe the Knyaz will forgive you. " " A-a!" "Hey, Ilya, you won't believe ...how happy I am to see you!" "You did well too, Knyaz, ...weren't frightened at all." ""Make obeisance", he says - ha-ha-ha-ha!" "Of course!" "What is this?" "Where did she come from?" "Conspired behind my back!" "Not at all, Ilya!" "Cross my heart!" "And anyway, it's always useful to have a chick on a voyage." "I mean - for cooking, ...or doing laundry!" "For example, my sleeves are dirty..." "No!" "We shall leave her here." "That'll teach her a lesson." "Why, you!" "I only...!" "You..." "How dare you!" "I didn't do it for my amusement!" "I wanted to make known to the public the daily routine of the Russian heroes!" "And..." "And you..." "So, the mission by the code name of "Vengeance"" "...was lead by the Knyaz of Kiev personally." "Got it?" "From the very first steps, the good luck shone on the Knyaz." "A-a-and and on the persons acompanying him!" "Luck has nothing to do with it." "Simple ruse of war, ...nothing else." "How so?" "Can you elaborate?" "Very easy." "Found the thieves' lair by the signs, ...and then used a live bait to catch them." "Just like fishing. " " So are you saying ...that I was a bait to you?" "!" "Easy, Knyaz, easy!" "I'm telling you, a ruse of war. " " You!" "You put the life of the head of the state in danger!" "This is.. tre... treason!" "Look!" "He woke up..." "Well, will you tell us, where Nightingale is, ...or should I give you another incentive?" "He headed across the sea." "To Constantinople." "As soon as he stole that tr... mm.." "To Constantinople?" "Is this for sure?" "To Constantinople?" "Hold on, Knyaz!" "Free his mouth, will you." "How else will he talk?" "Well?" "" " Well like I said, ...as soon as the treasury... " " You keep to the point, ...to the point!" "About Constantinople!" "" " Why, Knyaz, ...let him speak." "Nightingale bade us wait for his orders, ...took the noble steed, and the Knyaz's treasury, ...and left. " " He's raving!" "Yours is a heavy strike, Ilya!" "We-e-ell." "So you're saying, ...he took the Knyaz's treasury?" "Wanted to solve your problems with my hands?" "Not mine!" "" " Wait, listen!" "" " Not mine, but the matters of the state!" "You said so yourself - those matters are not my concern!" "Listen, Ilya, remember I told you about an errand?" "Well, from your mom?" "And you should know when it's a good time to speak up, and when it isn't!" "Don't interfere!" "And you don't yell at me!" "I'm not your chestnut mare!" "" " You, you know what say hi to mom!" "After all, I am a Knyaz!" "And moreover, it is his duty to serve the Knyaz!" "And he's setting his claims here!" "And I..." "I have dirty sleeves!" "And I am a Knyaz!" "In case he forgot..." "And the Knyaz and Ilya are probably shedding tears right now." "A-ha-ha!" ""Where is my money!" "Where is my steed, my Burushka!" Ha-ha-ha!" "What?" "Tough luck, without your magical mane?" "And don't you dare to go against Nightingale!" "Let's see, where is my gold?" "Nightingale needs the gold..." "Ah!" "Nightingale will start a new life with the gold..." "Ah!" "Abroad!" "And you, I will sell to the next man." "Or shall I?" "No, I'll order to make two tambourines out of your hide!" "I will play on one, and send the other one to Ilya!" "You rebel!" "You bastard!" "I thought to do right by you!" "The horse for you, the treasury for me, but now - the hell I will!" "A-a-a-a!" "There!" "The horse is mine, and the treasury is mine, and the treasury is mine, and the horse is mine!" "Everything's mine!" "I don't want to ever see him!" "" " No, Knyaz, this is not right." "We have to catch up with Ilya!" "What is it?" "" " This is something that Ilya's mom sent to him." "She said, his power comes from the Russian earth. " " So what?" "We don't need Ilya-the-rebel anymore!" "You can't do that!" "What if he gets in trouble?" "Serves him right!" "Ah!" "Right!" "And how shall we defeat Nightingale without Ilya?" "Did you think of that?" "How?" "How..." "The basileus!" "Will... help us." "But who can equal Ilya of Murom?" "And anyway, that kind of hero is this "basileus"?" "Ha!" "Some chronicler!" "The basileus is an... emperor." "Of Byzantium." "He is my brother, in royal blood." "I only have to whisper to him, and he'll produce Nightingale for me, even if it costs the earth!" "While the Knyaz and his companion were on the way to the wharf, ...Ilya was halfway to ...Constantinople." "And Nightingale the Robber, celebrating his victory, was very close indeed ...to the great city." "Three!" "Two!" "Take him!" "A noble steed!" "Aren't you sorry to lose him?" "Would you like to win him back?" "" " Hm!" "I'll buy a hundred like him!" "A thousand!" "What's one horse!" "I can buy the whole of Constantinople, today if I want to, with this money!" "Do you know how much is here, eh?" "Why you, the Shaitan's seed!" "Ah no!" "This horse is mine now." "Out of my way!" "Well, merchant, let's see if you're stout on your feet!" "You can't escape!" "Look what I found!" "Wow!" "" " Look!" "" " Cool!" "" " Awesome!" "Where did the horse go?" "Did anyone see?" "Mmm?" "Almost there." "Now we'll board the ship, ...and consider it done." "Do you have any money?" "He-he-he!" "I just asked." "Why would we need money?" "Am I a Knyaz or not?" "What a beauty, slender like a vine, pretty like a cherry!" "Do you wish to get to Constantinople?" "" " What business it is of yours?" "I can help." "And above that, I can offer you a job." "Good salary, company provides the living quarters, insurance..." "How so?" "What kind of a job?" "Show-business!" "Exotic dances!" "I can see it: "The star of Constantinople"!" "No-no, that's not the thing." "Tell me, ...I'm looking for a man here." "Presentable, tall." "A hero, in a word!" "You're talking about Ilya again?" "Who do you write the cronicle about anyway?" "The hero is beside you, and you're thinking about a deserter!" "Two tickets to the first class, please." "At the account of the receiving side." "And bring us some tea!" "With bagels!" "Don't write about this in your cronicle!" "I be a Knyaz!" "I'll show you!" "Just you wait!" "You'll come to me for a license!" "Ah, Knyaz... "I be"..." "Wait here!" "And in Constantinople, life went its normal course." "The basileus, Byzantium's emperor, was working day and night, ...thinking constantly about the matters of the state." "Well, something like that." "Looks nice." "But isn't there the land of Kiev Rus here?" "Hmm?" "Curious, he-he-he..." "So what if there is?" "Aren't we supporting an army for a reason?" "Ah?" "But..." "The Great Emperor..." "Our people are brothers!" "In faith..." "I didn't quite understand you?" "Do you want to annoy the emperor?" "Where is that...?" "I'm asking you, where is the executioner?" "He has a day off!" "The Great Emperor..." "Mmm?" "As they say, I pardon you." "For now..." "Oh, I'm so tired!" "No!" "Don't ask, don't beg, send everyone to the executioner..." "I will execute..." "And pardon And so Constantinople preserved itself through its more than a thousand years long history." "Upon arrival, you will have a guided tour of the city, and you will see everything with your own eyes." "And now we offer you fresh tea with bagels!" "Burushka-a-a!" "Burushka-a-a!" "What the hell?" "!" "Who let the horse into the Emperor's garden?" "Ah?" "Hey!" "Somebody!" "Summon the executioner!" "But he has a day off!" "" " He can use it some other time." "Oh damn, the Roman chariot!" "This is not ours, the horse kindly left it!" "" " Gold?" "!" "Curious..." "Gods' blessing is on you, the Great Emperor!" "They did not just deliver the magic horse right into your hands, but rewarded you for your righteous deeds!" "Glory to the Great Emperor!" "Glory!" "" " Good boys..." "Good boys!" "Where..." "Where is the magic horse, I'm asking you?" "...of mine?" "Ah?" "Missed him..." "Lost him!" "Listen!" "Everyone!" "Quick!" "Search!" "For my horse!" " B-b-b..." "P-p-p... " " Off with you, off!" "Hey, someone, take him away!" " B-b-but p-p-perhaps we could try and search from the air?" "Curious!" "Good boy... good boy... come over here!" "Do you know how to jump with a parachute?" "" " Mm... ah... eh..." "Whew..." "By saint John..." "What a multitude of buildings!" "Whew..." "There it is, the basileus' palace, oh my, it appears it's a long way off still!" "Let me sit down for a moment, or..." "My head is spinning!" "Look!" "It's all so cultured here!" "They even have chairs in the streets!" "Ah, it's so nice here!" "Very cultured..." "Cultured, I tell you!" "When I'm back, I'll order to set up chairs like this in Kiev too!" "Chairs in Kiev!" "Ah, this is comfortable." "And the money?" "" " What money?" "For the wonderful rest in my admirable chair!" "" " What?" "!" "Are you out of your mind?" "For a quick sit-down on this crappy... stool!" "You want money?" "Quiet, quiet!" "You better pay him, Knyaz. " " With what?" "I did tell you, I have no money!" "Do you want to bankrupt me?" "Some companions..." "Silver!" "Silver, I say!" "A wonder from overseas!" "What kind of bird is this?" "" " This is an air balloon!" "Did you steal a fork on the ship?" "" " Says you!" "It's our payment." "It's not everyday that a Knyaz serves the tea to them." "I don't see anything yet..." "Not-a-thing..." "T-t-there!" "There!" "Good boy!" "Good boy." "Burushka-a-a!" "There he is!" "There he is, my dove." "Who the hell is that?" "Who dares to hunt after my horse?" "Seize everyone at once, and bring before me!" "I will pardon and execute." "Perhaps execute only..." "Ah, they won't make it." "Would he just make a shortcut here." "Good boy!" "Good boy." "You'll show him the shortcut." "Did anybody tell him that he has to pull the ring?" "Ah?" "Open your eyes!" "Almost let the grief cross your path." "Thank you!" "Saved me from the ferocious beast." "That's right!" "Could say thank you, at least." "Thank you, grandmother!" "Thank-you!" "I can hear you, there's no need to shout!" "Always in a hurry..." "Can't even find time to say thank you..." "I have a feeling we won't make it tonight." "Too far to the palace." "And the emperor's working day is short." "It's just me that works from sunrise till sunset, and the emperors, they, you know..." "Catch hi-i-im!" "O-oh!" "I would like a pet like this." "Does it bite?" "Willing to take a ride, kind sir?" "I know you!" "You'll leave me penniless afterwards!" "A-a-ah!" "No, my kind sir, ...you don't have to pay for a ride." "For sure?" "Free?" "" " I swear by my mother!" "Knyaz, he's obviously lying, this is just his business!" "And we'll lose time. " " It's ok." "We'll ride on this." "Get on!" "I'm not going anywhere!" "Maybe Ilya needs our help right now, and we..." "My word, just like a baby!" "Ilya, again?" "That's it, I said!" "I'm not interested in him anymore!" "To basileus!" "And you stay here, if you're so smart!" "Contradicting the Knyaz, indeed!" "Despot!" "" " I heard that!" "A-a-ah!" "Lithe like a vine, pretty like a cherry!" "Are you still looking for a hero?" "" " Why?" "Do you know where to find him?" "Of course I do." "Please, my dear!" "This is my horse." "Out of the way!" "" " Ha-ha-ha!" "What's up with you, eh?" "Are you really whistling here?" "Stop whistling, I tell you!" "Stop whistling!" "A sure sign for making one penniless!" "Hey!" "What are you lingering for?" "I'll be late to see the basileus!" "This is... a pleasure ride... not a taxi." "That's it!" "Stop right here, brother!" "Let me down!" "Fine." "I want my monies." "You swore to me you don't charge for this!" "I don't charge for the ride, ...I charge for you ...getting off the elephant." "Got it?" "" " Why you, a foreign swindler!" "Just you wait, I'll get off and!" "Oy..." "Let me just get off!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "Burushka-a-a!" "Where are you, Burushka!" "Give me some sign, send a message!" "Burushka!" "Knyazushka!" "" " Ilya!" "Ilushechka!" "Help me down!" "Ilya!" "My dear knight!" "God be praised!" "We meet at last!" "I am... forgiving by nature." "Well... you know." "I believe we should keep together, no matter what, ...after all, this is a strange land." "What... what do you think?" "" " Hmm!" "What is this... beast from overseas?" "Are you still here?" "Go away!" "Dumb animal!" "Why, Knyaz, you're so heavy-handed." "Is this the way to speak to an animal?" "They prefer tenderness, just like people." "There, good boy, good boy!" "We won't hurt you." "Where does this wonderful beast come from?" "His name is Business!" "The goddamned driver bound me with lies, ...said "Get on!" "Take a ride on this despot!" "For free!"" "I knew at once how things stood!" "But he didn't let go - "take a ride, Knyaz, we'll be honored!"" "You steal my elephant!" "Ilya Ivanovich!" "There he is!" "The cursed robber!" "Where are my monies?" "Give me my monies!" "What money?" "Shut up you dumb animale!" "Those weak in spirit insult an animal!" "What do you abuse the beast for?" "!" "I want takee my elephant." "I want takee my monies." "From this thief!" "It's you who are a thief!" "Leave him alone, Knyazhe." "Tell me instead - where did Alenushka go?" "Nobody can handle a parachute!" "How shall we live?" "Ah?" "Well, while my horse is being caught, let's train." "Come on." "Get in." "Quick!" "For the Great Emperor's benefit, I am honored to present a maiden from overseas!" "Lithe like an ivy, pretty like a cherry!" "How about that!" "Curious!" "By what right was I captured and brought here against my will?" "Like!" " No, really!" "Li-ke!" "Even better that that... the one before last!" "Untie me at once!" "I was going here myself!" "Yourself?" "E-e-er..." "What is your name?" "What does my name have to do with it!" "Alenushka!" "What a wonderful name!" "You know, Alenushka, ...let's proceed to my personal office!" "Caught him!" "Caught him, the great Emperor!" "A-a-ah!" "So the parachute did open up!" "We caught your wondrous horse." "He was put in a stable." "And the thieves that were chasing him?" "E-e-er... one of them was captured!" "" " How so, just one?" "Do you want to upset the Emperor?" "Well..." "An executioner here for him, and my horse for me." "Quick!" "" " May I take a look?" "At the executioner?" "" " Oh no!" "At the wondrous horse." "Very curious indeed." "Come on, Knyazhe, don't fall behind!" "There!" "Look!" "Another basileus!" "Spitting image!" "I swear!" "When we are back, I'll order to put statues like that all over!" "A score at least!" "Beautiful!" "" " Let's go, Knyazhe." "I'm telling you, Burushka is here somewhere!" "I feel it in my heart..." "Don't you be so distressed!" "He - will help us to recover the treasury in no time..." "I mean, to find Burushka!" "He is my brother, in lordly blood..." " Aha-a-a!" "Gotcha!" "Well?" "Taste this!" "Take a look at our sort!" "Vipers." "And you, my dear friend, haven't lost a bit of your strength." "Why would I have lost it?" "Why, what about the Russian earth that gives you strength?" "You mean it has nothing to do with it?" "Why, you sly dog!" "How could I forget!" "..." "Hey!" "What's with you?" "Get up, Ilyushenka!" "Get up!" "I was joking!" "About the earth!" "I'm off to the basileus, Ilyushenka, to the basileus!" "I'll get help!" "You, soldier, report to the basileus immediately that his old friend, Knyaz of Kiev, arrived!" "Well?" "How long am I to wait?" "Let me pass!" "Basileus!" "Basileus!" "What are you doing, you lackeys?" "Let me through!" "Basileus!" "Basileus!" "Basya!" "Basya!" "Basileus!" "You damn Rus!" "Didn't want to do it amicably?" "Now let them pay a ransom for you!" "Thank you, you wonder from overseas!" "I couldn't have managed it myself." "Eh..." "How can I help you?" "What a misfortune..." "A-aah!" "Lost my whole strength..." " Listen!" "Here's Burushka's horseshoe!" "It stepped on our native soil!" "Come on, my sweet, rescue us!" "Come on!" "Look here!" "Indeed the strength is coming back!" "Now then..." "E-e-e-e-e-h!" "It's coming back!" "Hello, girls!" "Well, something of the sort!" "Ekem..." "Biru..." " Wha-at?" "Lord be praised!" "Howdy, Christians!" "Who are you?" " Ah!" "Knyaz!" "Will you have tea, Knyaz?" "" " Come over here, Knyaz!" "" " Sit down!" "Howdy, soldiers!" "Here's the thing, I arrived with the Knyaz of Kiev." "Has he been here?" "Duty, understood..." "Can't talk to strangers at one's post..." "What are you doing, brothers?" "You must be taking me for someone else!" "Well then?" "Has the Knyaz of Kiev been here?" "He has, then!" "And where did he lose himself?" "Well, here you are!" "A dumb animal, ... but it's more useful than all of you put together!" "I wonder how much does he have in him still?" "Could you give me an interview?" "What an unusual story!" "I don't have any 'interviews'!" "I had an only horse, and he's been taken away!" "His name was Burushka!" " What?" "!" "Burushka?" "Spare me, oh the wisest of Emperors!" "Excuse me?" "" " Your good horse... " " What - your horse?" "Stopped emitting gold!" "Well pack up, Knyazhe!" "Ah, dinner has just been served..." "Pasta!" "..." " But well done, Ilya, didn't forget about your Knyaz!" "Well, shall we go?" "You know what brothers say?" "They say that a wondrous horse had been brought to basileus!" "They say he's emitting gold out of himself!" "What kind of bullshit is that!" "What gold?" "That gold!" "And they brought a foreign girl with the horse." "Could it be Alenushka..." "And where's..." "Where's my treasury?" "I'm so worried about my treasury!" "Allright, Knyazhe, keep cool." "We'll take care of it." "Why did the horse stop emitting gold?" "!" "Answer me!" "Has anyone been sent for an executioner?" "Don't!" "And the innocent prisoner told of Ilyushka of Murom's intrigues." "How the heartless villain stripped him of all the goods honestly acquired, ... robbed him blind, ... and hid all the gold ...inside his horse ...the wondrous one!" "Great Emperor!" "Russians destroyed the bridge to the palace!" "Coming, Burushka, I'm coming!" " Great Emperor!" "Russians destroyed the town prison!" "Well, good mother earth, come to rescue!" "Great Emperor!" "The army is lined up for Kiev campaign!" "Here's a fine blood brother for you, Knyaz!" "There must be some mistake..." "Give up, Russians!" " Russians never give up!" "Where are the Russians?" "These, huh?" "You and Business come first, ... and I'll cover your rear!" "Ilya!" "Where are you going?" "Ilya, hold on!" "Ah..." "My strength is not the same as in Mother Rus!" "Or perhaps it is!" "Our-guys!" "Our-guys!" "Our-guys!" "You, Emperor, are not a match for the Russian hero!" "And you didn't believe me!" "Wanted to assault Kiev!" "You need a special warrior here." " What do you ask?" "What?" "A dental expert!" "To begin with..." "Well, something of the sort." "Alenushka!" "Hold on, Ilya, hold on!" "Here's Russian earth!" "We meet again..." "From now on never to part!" "Ilya..." "Russian earth..." "Your mother asked to give it to you." "Remember?" "Thanks..." "But you're a little late!" "If the mountain won't go to Mohammed, Mohammed must go to the mountain!" " Do not whistle!" "Told you, you wretched blockhead!" "Where's my treasury!" "You damned murderer!" "Answer me at once!" "Before I'm done with you!" "Hello!" "Hello, my designated brother!" "Ah... no, really..." "Didn't recognize you!" "..." "As they say in your country, you'll be rich!" "The basileus returned the treasury to the Knyaz, ...which pleased Knyaz not a little." "And so they went, and rode, and got home, ...where fame expected them, ...and glory!" " He is back!" "And Ilya of Murom got his power and strength back, ...and so Ilya of Murom defeated countless enemy hordes, ...and took the main villain by the waist, ...and threw him far far across the sea!" "Since then fame and glory is due to Ilya, not only among Russian people, ...but also in the foreign lands!" "And whatever misfortune may befall, they call ...for Ilya of Murom to come at once!" "And people live in peace, ...while Ilya of Murom!" "..." "" " Well, enough of this!" "Now then," "Alenushka wrote that well!" "Fresh, and believable." "Here, give me the chronicle!" "Yeees..." "You, my good man, here, and here in short, everywhere!" "Replace 'Ilya of Murom' with 'Knyaz of Kiev', and that'll be that!" "Well, something of the sort!" "Ïåðåâîä÷èêè:" "Ilanna, tiny_tim, little_dorrit, gurman, fucshia, Kukuku"