"IT WAS A QUIET DEATH" "I have to tell you about grandpa." "He died." "It was a quiet death." "In 1985" "Martha," "Anna and Markos were 33 years old." "Grandpa was ageless." "The house is now full of crickets." "Grandpa, do the deceased tell stories?" "Grandpa!" "Are you really dead?" "Ma-rtha..." "Ma-rtha..." "What's your name?" "What's your name?" "Ma-rtha..." "It's Martha!" "Say Martha." "Say it." "Martha." "Please..." "Talk to me." "I know you're there." "I want you to listen." "You must listen to me." "Nostalgia was in no way involved here." "Don't turn it off." "I enjoy watching images." "Now what will my punishment be?" "Send me off to bed again?" "You know I'm here to help you." "Wny don't you trust me anymore?" "Will you doctor me?" "In the clinic you may be attended by another doctor if you like." "There's glass everywhere." "In fact, Markos cut himself." "Sometimes I imagine that I'm leading a simple life." "And that you die actually." "I live in a house by the sea." "And you never visit there." "Let's drink and talk." "No more." "Please, Martha." "Enough." "Since we parted I discovered cheap red wine." "But Anna won't have any." "Anna does not care... for cheap things." "What do you know about me?" "Only that always listened to you." "I was there when you spoke." "Do you love me?" "Come on, lie to me." "You love me." "I don't want you to go." "Also I don't know how to stop you." "That's what I try to do every time." "To stop you." "So that you won't go." "Doctor must never be wounded by the disease." "Says Anna." "Anna likes quoting when she speaks." "What's that other thing you say..." "About that fucking novel which is always near the end but never gets written." "How does it go..." "Internal violence..." "Violence can not find find its expressive counterpart." "Martha, get dressed and let's go." "No, it can not." "It's not there." "Now the birds are..." "The swallows are now..." "Now the partridges are..." "The partridges are now sweetly tweeting and saying..." "Awaken..." "Awaken my master..." "My master awaken..." "Wake up sweet love of mine..." "How many years did we live together?" "Martha knows." "But she's alone like Martha." "All those years..." "I believed I was the reason you wouldn't grow up." "I wonder..." "Why is it that only through disaster you become a friend to yourself." "So now if she also destroys herself, who will she become a friend to?" "Asks Markos." "At different periods, he used to love different parts of his body." "At one time, he only loved his sleep." "He never loved it as a whole." "At different periods, she used to love different parts of my body." "At one time, she only loved my sleep." "She never loved me as a whole." "At different periods, I used to love different parts of your body." "At one time, I only loved your sleep." "I never loved you as a whole." "Now the birds are..." "Now the swallows..." "The partridges are now..." "Drink." "Drink to get dizzy and go to sleep." "Drink to get dizzy and go to sleep." "Drink." "Drink to get dizzy and go to sleep." "Drink." "And wish me something." "I know about him, he wishes I'd been born a boy." "You'll never pay the dues." "Talk to her, Anna." "You're not drinking, either." "Why aren't you?" "You used to drink, remember?" "Didn't you?" "What do you know about me?" "Only that I always kept you." "I was there when you wanted me." "And now..." "Neither here nor there." "Neither with me nor without me." "Now you'll stay here and we'll drink." "And make love all night long." "Remember, Markos?" "He doesn't, Anna." "It never was so." "If it ever were." "It wasn't me." "Ah, alike of mine..." "Brother of mine..." "We've grown older." "It's over." "When I get out of the clinic shall we make a long journey together?" "You know what I dream of sometimes?" "Me teaching History in a provincial school." "Going to bed early." "And being free of you at last." "Then why don't you fall in love with Anna?" "Instead of giving boys those strange looks?" "Each time you put me to sleep, don't you make love behind my back?" "Then Anna smokes... and you dream about boys." "Why can't you kill yourself?" "Go properly mad?" "Disappear as if you never existed?" "Or perhaps die now." "Cry, Markos." "I want to see your tears." "Father, talk to me." "Mother..." "Don't go." "Who is the one cutting off the end with a pair of scissors every time?" "What are you trying to prove, Martha?" "I don't want to prove." "I want to covet." "You don't come see me anymore." "I saw no reason in taming myself... doctor." "You believe you don't need me now." "Martha does not love the doctor." "When you make a decision you also think of the one in contrast." "Each day has its previous and its following night." "You don't trust anyone." "Not Markos either." "I want to be madly in love with him." "Martha cannot escape love" "Love she cannot," "Martha escape." "You drown yourself in alcohol because you cannot go on with your writing." "And you don't write because you're constantly drunk." "...Martha escape..." "You want to end your life in a room drinking." "...escape..." "Is that what you want?" "...cannot..." "Martha escape..." "Martha cannot escape love love she cannot" "Martha escape" "Are you cold?" "Thirsty." "You cannot live with fear anymore." "Nobody can." "Fear is my body." "Doctor." "I'm not afraid of it." "Look at my hands." "They never grew up." "Come with me, Martha." "One day I'll wake up a new woman." "New?" "Who's the old one?" "Now the birds... the swallows now are... now the partridges are sweetly tweeting and saying..." "Awaken my master..." "Awaken my master..." "I'm doing no harm." "Don't worry." "Anna called the clinic." "Will you get dressed?" "If we take the cassettes with us." "We will." "All of them?" "All of them." "They're grandpa's stories." "I'm trying to remember them." "You may listen to them while I'm asleep." "I'm moving away." "It's night and raining." "I'm alright." "I don't know the street name." "I want to drink." "FIRE AND CHAOS" "HELL" "NIGHT OF VIOLENCE" "MURDER" "I'm moving away." "It's night and raining." "I'm alright." "Martha?" "Martha?" "Please..." "Talk to me." "I know you're there." "I want you to listen." "You must listen to me." "Martha!" "...without an end or a beginning?" "Are there not any stories?" "Have there never been any stories?" "Are there only incidents without an end or a beginning?" "Are there not any stories?" "Have there never been any stories?" "Are there only incidents without an end or a beginning?" "Are there not any stories?" "Have there never been any stories?" "Are there only incidents without an end or a beginning?" "Are there not any stories?" "Have there never been any stories?" "Are there only incidents without an end or a beginning?" "Are there not any stories?" "Have there never been any stories?" "Are there only incidents without an end or a beginning?" "Are there not any stories?" "Have there never been any stories?" "You want it?" "I'm selling it." "What would I do with it?" "You don't want it?" "What would I do with it?" "Turtles live for many years." "Maybe even 1.000." "How will I get out of the city?" "How will I get out..." "What's a tall thin monk with no bones?" "(a riddle for "smoke")" "It's no use." "Calling the police." "She'll come herself." "She's done it before." "But she hasn't come." "She's not here now." "And you can't tell me where she is." "Whenever I lost her..." "I imagined her as dead." "That somebody would kill her on me." "Or that something took away her memory and she'd never return." "And every time she found us both here waiting for her." "Martha has no rules in her game." "Don't forget that." "She never had any." "The last time she asked me to sleep with her she meant to... torture me." "To accuse me of apathy and coldness." "She wanted to see me cry like a child." "I failed in her." "I didn't manage to make her grow up." "Live a real life." "Isn't that what you want to say?" "Can you tell me where she is now?" "What if she's lost?" "Responsibility was always on me." "Tenderness a privilege of yours." "For a whole night..." "I had stayed by her side." "She was shivering and stuttering..." ""It is too dark inside of me"." ""Also a body that all the time wants to exit mine"." ""Perhaps that's what they call soul, Anna?"" ""Anna?"" "The next day when she woke up, she was calm and smiling at me." "I looked at her and I wished I had killed her." "That she had never been born." "Every night I'd dream of my body as a soul." "And listened to its voice." ""Anna?"" ""Anna?"" "I'm growing old." "I've aged." "Nobody can bear all that love Martha asks for." "Not even herself." "Shall we look for her?" "I'm tired." "And scared as much as you are." "Grandpa was born so as to die along with the century." "Grandpa was born so as to die along with the century." "Grandpa was born so as to die along with the century." "History is a nightmare and I cannot wake up." "The future is going to be events." "Only events." "And the main thing is..." "They'll be as short as possible." "The last of us will be museum preservers or insane prophets." "I exist within this endless dispute with Time." "Memory is inhabited by children." "And mad people." "Without birth?" "The mind gets crushed." "And the body snoops." "Before..." "After..." "And Now..." "Without birth." "I don't know any stories to tell you." "All sentences deport me into myself." "If I die now I'll die alone." "Exactly like you." "And I love you." "Exactly like you." "I'm neither silent... nor talking to you." "If you're asking me about myself stories are going to be sad." "If you ask me about the world" "I only have dark prophecies." "Somehow our life's finished." "In spite of all the love." "Without birth." "History... is a nightmare... and I cannot wake up." "The future is going to be events." "Only... events." "And the main thing is..." "As short as possible." "The last of us... will be museum preservers... or insane prophets." "I don't know any stories to tell you." "All sentences... deport me into myself." "If..." "I die now..." "I'll die alone." "Exactly like you." "I exist within this endless dispute with Time." "And I love you." "Exactly like you." "Memory is inhabited by children." "And mad people." "Without birth." "The mind gets crushed." "And the body snoops." "Before..." "After..." "And Now..." "Without birth." "I'm neither silent." "Nor talking to you." "If you're asking about me..." "Stories are going to be sad." "If you ask me about the world..." "I only have dark prophecies." "Somehow our life's finished." "In spite of all the love." "Without birth." "Grandpa was born so as to die along with the century." "He's not breathing now." "He cannot die either." "Father is very close to sleep and cannot sleep." "Mother is close to silence and she cannot keep silent." "In 1985..." "Martha," "Anna and Markos were 33 years old." "Grandpa was ageless." "Grandpa was born so as to die along with the century." "He's breathing." "He's breathing." "He's breathing." "He'll be saved." "I'll save him." "He'll be saved." "I'll save him." "He's breathing, he won't die." "He's breathing." "He's breathing, breathing." "He won't die." "Anna?" "Mar..." "He'll die." "He'll die." "He'll die." "Are you lost?" "I'm heading on backwards." "You're soaked." "Do you have a radio or a cassette player?" "Both but I don't use them." "I want to hear the engine." "Nigger was guarding Plataros' alley." "Just round the corner from the old ice factory." "Noone dared go near that area." "One night, I was a young man then, around 15 or 17..." "I knock back a tone... down at the meadow where I was guarding the lambs... and I get plastered on wine." "Night fell." "Now how could I pass through?" "With Nigger on guard?" "But then I was also drunk..." "Nigger or no Nigger, I'm passing through!" "I make the first step... the lambs didn't move." "Not this nor that way." "I push and I hit them..." "Not an inch..." "Their eyes and legs were fixed still..." "I was left speechless, too." "All that darkness... and silence..." "Second Advent..." "I didn't even know how I got home." "I sneak in... to avoid my mother and father and drop onto bed like a log." "I didn't care where the animals ended, I only saved myself." "Then suddenly..." "I hear laughing... in the next room." "I go in... and what do I see..." "The lambs!" "The lambs... sitting there... cross-legged and having a smoke!" "Just as I see you right now!" "A vision, you'll say..." "Well, if he wants... the Adversary can do anything..." "My Grandpa said." "And he wanted to cry out loud." "To prove that he didn't die." "Don't you have a fiancée?" "First I saw the corpse... and later the killing took place." "Subs by never4ever for KG / Aug 2014"