"Seems so cold in there." "Yeah." "##[Don't let them by Ashanti playing]" "# Say that you want me #" "# Yes, say that you'll never leave me #" "# Yes, you gotta tell me you need me #" "# And don't let them take your love away, yeah ## ##[song on radio playing]" "That was fantastic." "Thank you." "This is actually the first time... that I'm gonna be performing this live... so I'm a little bit nervous." "You have nothing to worry about." "Thanks." "Is there anything at all that you need?" "Actually, yeah." "I'm gonna need a few bottled waters..." "Done." "...some towels..." "Done." "...and are Ed and Danny available for a meeting?" "Sure." "Is anything wrong?" "It's for my boyfriend." "Ashanti." "Yes?" "Care to join me in the cuddle tub?" "Hello to you, too." "Hello." "Do you know Mary?" "Yeah." "We met at Mystique." "Maybe you'd like to join us." "# Why don't you join us, yeah #" "# In the Jacuzzi, yeah #" "# And don't knock it till you've tried it ##" "I told you, I don't do that kind of thing." "Well, you know what they say, honey." "Two's company, three's a party." "Mike." "Yeah." "Check it out." "These two have been at it for 20 minutes in the east elevator." "It's Hot 100 week, man." "Everybody gets their freak on." "Who's switching the monitors?" "I did." "(Ed) This guy's passing out flyers in the casino." "Get rid of him." "And tell that girl to keep her clothes on, will you?" "I got the elevator." "(Mary) Hey." "You remember Fred?" "How could I forget?" "How are you, Fred?" "Great, Mr. Deline." "Great to see you." "Hey, Fred." "Hey, Danny." "Fred here would like to meet with you guys." "I would love to, but I gotta run." "Boss' orders." "We'll catch up." "I've got a phone call I have to make, on the phone." "Well?" "Well?" "Shall we step into your office?" "What brings you back to Vegas?" "Ed, comes a time in a man's life... when he has to take stock of what he's done and what he needs to do." "You need to do something here?" "What I need to do... is offer appropriate thanks to you and Danny." "The two people who not only saved my life... but made me obscenely rich." "It's just not necessary." "I mean, the fact that we could turn your life around... and help you become a millionaire..." "Do not call me a millionaire." "You're not?" "No." "[laughing] I'm a billionaire." "Which means I pretty much get whatever I want." "But what I want now is to thank you in a sincere, heartfelt way." "I'm touched." "All right." "Go ahead." "Not here." "No." "I want to take you shopping." "And I'd love to go." "But I'm just jammed with meetings for the next few days." "What about Danny?" "Danny." "Sure, Danny..." "He'd love to go." "I'll clear his schedule." "Good." "Well, so I guess your present will just have to be a surprise." "(woman #1) Thank you." "(man #1) New betting service." "Top rates." "Top-rate betting service." "Here." "Thank you." "Thanks." "[people chattering]" "(woman #2) There he is." "(man #3) Yeah, I see him." "Damn it." "[people cheering] [dialing telephone] [phone ringing]" "It's Mitch." "I lost the guy that was passing out flyers." "See if you can Video IQ him." "(Mitch) All right, try Craps 39." "(man #4) Winner, coming up." "Six!" "Grab your chips." "We're gonna take a little walk." "Montecito security." "Come on." "I don't know what this is about, but you got the wrong guy." "You're not allowed to distribute flyers on Montecito property." "But luckily for you, I'm just gonna throw you out." "I'm not distributing flyers." "Well, what're you gonna believe, me or your own eyes?" "That's a joke." "[chuckling]" "I'll be on my way." "Ed Deline says you're the best ever, huh?" "You know him?" "Do you know him?" "I wouldn't say we're close but he's a hell of a guy." "Come with me." "Ed loves to see his name in print." "It's gonna be fun." "##[pop music playing]" "Gotta admit, quoting you on his flyer... when you guys have never even met takes a lot of balls." "We have met." "Guess you didn't make much of an impression." "Actually, I did." "It was back in '95." "And I had a gig here, in the old Lido Lounge." "It was a magic act." "You came down one day and you saw my old shirt-off-his-back trick." "You remember?" "I used to bring the mister and missus up on the stage... and I'd pull hubby's shirt off... while he was talking about how she didn't marry him for his money." "You know what?" "I do remember." "This guy's pretty good." "You loved it." "You told me." "Pretty good, maybe." ""The best ever," highly unlikely." "And if I said anything, it wasn't about a betting service." "You know, you're right." "I went a little overboard in the creative license department." "The thing is, as good a magician as I am..." "I'm an even better sports handicapper." "I gotta tell you, Mr. Deline, it is a frigging gift." "And I'm just trying to get a little positive word-of-mouth out there... so I can get my service up on its feet." "Listen, good luck." "Just take it somewhere else." "And please take my name off this flyer." "Okay." "Jeez, I feel terrible about this." "You know, I'm gonna do you a favor." "He's gonna do us a favor." "The guy who's shooting craps at the table I left is using loaded dice." "Table 39." "(Arnold) He's still there." "I saw him switch the dice after he rolled his point." "Very smooth." "Apparently extremely smooth because none of my people saw it." "Well, you see, that is the magician's eye." "You want me to go down and check it out?" "Yeah, go ahead." "No." "You're going shopping with Fred." "What?" "Nessa?" "45's what we need. 45." "Switch the dice after this next roll." "45, come on, now." "Here we go." "Five." "It's a no-field five." "[woman cheering]" "What are you switching them for?" "I had a nice roll going with the other ones." "(Lance) You know, it's hard enough to win around here." "All right, I know you're ready." "I've got a hot hand." "Everything's going right." "Here we go." "Come on, now, 45." "Seven, seven out." "It's clean." "Wait, is that his drink?" "(Nessa) Yeah." "He probably didn't want to have them on him in case he got stopped." "Ed, they're loaded." "Why am I running?" "Mike, the guy with the buckle and the yahoo tie!" "Holding room." "Hey, hey." "Guys, come on." "What?" "Take him to the holding room." "(Lance) Come on." "Hey, come on." "Mr. Deline." "Mr. Avizan, how are you?" "Frankly, I'm a little upset." "Why's that?" "I really appreciate you guys comping my room, food and beverages... but I don't think that gives you the right to rip me off on the other charges." "What charges?" "My wife went to the salon... for a bikini wax." "You know what they charged her?" "$275." "What did you do?" "Tell them to triple the price to get back some money?" "No, of course not." "Listen, I apologize..." "I'll make sure that all charges are taken away from your bill." "How's that?" "Thank you." "You bet." "And you really should make sure no one else is getting ripped off." "Absolutely." "And enjoy the rest of your stay, won't you?" "Ed." "Let me ask you, is $275 a lot for a bikini wax?" "Listen, I got them cuing up the loaded dice tape." "[women cheering]" "(Mike) Back it up five seconds." "Hey." "Detective Cho, how are you?" "Ed." "Mike." "Hey, Jenny." "Mike called, said you got a cheater in your holding room?" "Yeah, right." "We're running the tape right now." "Right there." "See?" "He's dropping the loaded dice into the drink." "Freeze it." "Blow it up 10 fields, would you?" "See them dropping?" "I'll get you a copy." "Need anything else?" "No." "That ought to be enough." "Is Danny around?" "Danny is on a very special assignment." "You need him?" "No." "Just tell him I say hi." "(Fred) Yeah, well, I mean, what do you want?" "Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Prada?" "Fred, this really isn't necessary." "Danny, what I'm going to buy you is eons beyond "isn't necessary."" "It's downright extravagant." "Ridiculously extravagant." "That's not always good, Fred." "Showing gratitude... for instilling a sense of purpose in one's life is bad?" "No, showing gratitude isn't bad, but taking somebody on a..." "Because that is what you did." "Like it or not, you're my life coach." "Send me in, Life Coach McCoy." "[chuckling]" "Hey." "A little vino before we stroll?" "No, let's not." "Great." "[people chattering]" "OH!" "Arnold, what are you doing?" "Just..." "Nothing." "Well, thank you." "What's this?" "It's the Montecito reward program." "It's $500 for information... leading to the arrest of anyone violating state gaming laws." "$500?" "Well, I doubled it." "It's $1,000." "Mr. Deline, thank you so much." "I gotta tell you, this couldn't have come at a better time." "You can use it to print up some new flyers." "No." "I'm gonna use this for something much more urgent." "White Sox-lndians." "A bet?" "No, not just a bet." "A lock." "And not a run-of-the-mill five-star lock... not the lock of the season, not the lock of the century." "It's what I call "the lock with no name."" "And that is because it shows you... how far ahead of all the other locks it is." "Well, good luck." "White Sox." "Excuse me?" "Let's just say it has something to do with day games following a day off... on Eastern time..." "I'm getting a little bit of a headache." "I gotta go, okay?" "Thanks." "You're in for a taste, my treat." "Yum, yum." "See, I don't care about your female problems." "I would, however, like you to get to work on time." "On time." "Okay." "Sam, come here." "What exactly is a bikini wax supposed to cost?" "That's very metrosexual of you." "That's not funny." "It's not for me." "It's not for me." "It's for one of your clients, a Mr. Avizan." "He says that his wife said we overcharged her. $275?" "That does sound high." "He's a pretty serious player, maybe we should take it off of his check." "I took care of that already." "But if somebody is ripping people off... down at our salon, I would like to know about it." "Yeah, of course, I'm on it." "Okay." "And, Ed, lots of guys are doing it." "Doing what?" "Waxing." "[Sam laughing]" "Ed..." "look what Fred bought me." "It's beautiful." "Danny's probably too polite to tell you how much it cost, so I will." "$186,000." "But you know what I say?" "Quality is priceless." "Now, you ready for your gift?" "All the rappers wear them." "It's very nice." "Thank you so much." "Quarter of a million dollars." "But that's not my real present." "My real present is..." "I'm buying the Montecito." "The gift that keeps on giving!" "(Mike) I'm afraid it is possible." "So you're telling me Fred Puterbaugh could buy the Montecito hotel?" "Net worth in excess of $2 billion." "You know what this guy had when he came in here?" "I know he was down on his luck." "$3 and a suicide note." "I mean..." "I don't get it. $2 billion." "I mean, that takes some pretty shrewd investing." "This guy was fired as a stereo salesman." "He's gotta have some experts he's working with." "It doesn't matter who he has." "If he gets this joint, we're in trouble." "Sorry to interrupt." "Mr. D., there's an Arnold Peters out here, says he'd like to see you." "Yeah, bring him in." "The flyers guy?" "Yeah." "He used to do a magic act here." "He's all right." "(Arnold) Hey, hey." "Hey, hey, hey." "You been watching the results?" "No, I'm sorry, I haven't." "This is my associate, Mike Cannon." "Mike." "I gave him the White Sox, they come through, big time." "Gentleman that he is, he doesn't want to accept the tip... so I put a little something down for him." "And here is your cut, $200." "I can't take that." "But... (Ed) No, we're not allowed." "That's true." "Oh, jeez." "Well, why give a man a trout when you can give him a rod and reel?" "Isn't that what they say?" "Sounds close enough." "My weekend picks." "P.S., I am all over the Devil Rays." "Well, this definitely makes us even." "Hi." "Is Polly here?" "(Polly) Hello, Sam." "Hi, Polly." "You want a mani-pedi?" "No." "Actually, I don't." "There was a little bit of a complaint." "About me?" "Yeah." "One of my clients says that you overcharged his wife." "I guess she had a bikini wax." "What name?" "Avizan." "She says that you charged her $275, and that seemed a little pricey to me, so..." "Sam, you see her before?" "No, actually, I've never..." "She hairy like man." "I had to go all the way around the corner, clean basement." "Have to use a 35 strip, usually seven." "You see her after?" "You know what, Polly?" "In fact I..." "She looking much more cleaner." "You ask husband, before and after, see difference." "Customer not always right." "Calm down for just a second." "All I wanted to know is, do you think the charges are fair?" "And quite obviously, you do, so..." "No overcharge." "I lift sheet, look like a jungle." "Polly!" "That is a little too much information." "Okay." "I love you." "I love you, too." "(Arnold) He said he had a gun, I didn't see the gun." "I was not gonna ask for proof." "He was tall, six, I don't know." "Maybe as tall as you." "Fellas, what's the problem here?" "Mr. Peters here is reporting a robbery on Montecito property." "Mr. Deline, I really didn't want to bother you again." "I asked them not to call." "They didn't call." "It's all right, I got it." "So what happened?" "I was walking to my car, $2,000 in my pocket..." "The money I won on the White Sox?" "This guy comes up to me, says he's got a gun." "He takes my cash, my lucky paperclip, and one of my Cutie-chums." "I'm not blaming you, though." "I probably brought this on myself." "What do you mean?" "How'd you do that?" "Well, before I left, I went into one of the little shops here... you know, the one that sells the Cutie-chums." "What the hell is a Cutie-chum?" "The porcelain figurines." "People collect them." "Right." "So, I'm in the store, I'm talking to this guy... turns out he's got a friend who collects Cutie-chums, too." "So you think this guy robbed you for this figurine?" "I'm telling you, these collectors... they see a Cutie-chum they want, they go postal." "But you know, honestly, you have done more than enough already." "I didn't even want to bother you." "All right, come on, we'll call the cops." "That's not necessary." "Armed robbery on Montecito property?" "It is necessary." "Please don't." "Why?" "Well, because after the robbery, I suddenly realized... that the Cutie-chum that this guy took..." "Wait, do me a favor." "Please don't use the word "Cutie-chum" again." "Yeah, the porcelain figurine that this guy took... might've been fake." "If the robber has a phony..." "Trust me on this, the cops are not interested in phony Cutie-chums." "What they do care about is armed robbery, and so do I." "No." "What?" "I'm not proud of this, but there were a couple of years... where I may not have filed a timely tax return." "A couple of years, I don't know, maybe I didn't file at all." "The point is, I told you about the robbery so you guys could be on the lookout." "But frankly, I'd rather lose the money than have the cops involved." "All right, we'll look at some surveillance tape." "Thank you." "And seeing as how I was robbed here... maybe you could loan me a little something so I can jump on that Devil Rays situation?" "How does "no" sound to you?" "No?" "Look, I'll put you to work." "If you need the money, you'll earn it." "Hi." "Hey." "Benito!" "Cobb salad to go, please." "And an iced tea." "He isn't supposed to give away food." "She isn't supposed to flash him." "I'm just trying to keep up employee morale." "Why the long faces?" "Have you heard about Fred Puterbaugh?" "He's dating Ashanti?" "He's buying the Montecito." "He's that rich?" "Mike said he's worth, like, $2 billion." "Great, now I have to be friendly to Fred." "That's why I'm a little nervous." "We fired him from his volunteer bartending position." "He loved that job." "Yeah, well I told him the only reason I didn't want him to woo me... was because I was a lesbian." "If Fred becomes my boss, I guarantee you, he'll return the favor and fire me." "If he finds out I lied to him, it's a wrap for me." "It doesn't matter what you've done in the past." "Men are very simple creatures." "There are very simple ways to get back on their good side." "(Danny) I checked all available cameras." "The robbery took place in a blind spot." "Which means, either this guy knew... exactly where to do it, or he just got real lucky." "Tell you what, check the gift shop about 2:15... 'cause Arnold said that he thinks the thief... might have been tipped off by a guy he met in there." "There you go." "See what you got on this guy." "Cliff Haner, Summerlin address." "[people chattering]" "Hey." "Thanks." "Hi." "I talked to the salon about Mrs. Avizan's charges." "Yeah?" "Are they legit?" "I think so." "Apparently she's a real Sasquatch down there." "Just do me a favor, stop right there." "Thank you." "That's enough." "You said you wanted to know." "That's enough." "(Danny) Ed." "Did you contact the cops?" "No." "Arnold doesn't want to get them involved." "Before you ask, he has no record." "There's no arrests, no warrants, nothing." "He's just one of those gray area kind of guys." "I really think that we should call the cops." "I told him we wouldn't and I keep my word." "What do you care, anyway?" "You never want to contact the cops." "I just think that they could help, that's all." "What's the name of that new female detective that took Luis' place?" "Jenny Cho." "Jenny Cho." "Very good-looking girl, no?" "Well, look, I'd like to help your social life along here... but I gave him my word, so why don't you just try to call her?" "Worst that happens, she says you make her violently ill." "Thanks a lot." "I gotta see this Cliff Haner in Summerlin." "All right, well, thanks for the encouragement, Ed." "[sighs]" "Good morning, angels." "That was amazing, Freddie." "Was it as good for you as it was for me?" "Probably not... but enjoyable, nonetheless." "Fred, thank you for making all of our dreams come true." "I'm just sorry Mary missed out on all this." "You know, I actually feel bad for her." "Mary?" "Mary?" "(Mary) Hey." "Fred?" "Hi." "Hi." "Hi, honey." "Did we wake you?" "We were just going over the details for the show." "We thought we heard you calling me." "No." "I was calling Ashanti." "(Fred) I just wanted to tell you" "I was having a dream about you, honey." "A nice dream." "How sweet." "(Danny) Well, the guy from the gift shop," "Cliff Haner, his story checks out." "He didn't use his cell phone and he went directly to the salon." "Well, there goes Arnold's theory." "But maybe someone at the sports book... saw him collect the $2,000 and then followed him out." "You know, we should have Arnold take a look at these tapes." "Where is he?" "We got an address?" "Yeah, he's here." "He's here?" "Why?" "I gave him a job." "Ed, he was passing out flyers without our permission." "He was using your name without authorization." "He didn't have to turn in that cheat." "So I'm helping him out." "That's right, every once in a while," "I help out a guy whether I have to or not." "Listen, call up landscaping, and see if they can locate Arnold." "Hey, Arnold." "You know, your supervisor's saying you're doing a heck of a job." "Well, I appreciate the opportunity." "You know, I don't look down my nose at any job." "And I'm not looking to cut any corners." "It's like you said, I'm gonna earn the money, make that Devil Rays play... be on my way." "Would you... mind coming up to the office with me?" "I'd like to show you some video." "You know, I don't get a break for another hour." "I run the place." "Of course." "Right." "No, the guy who robbed me wasn't any of those people." "What about the clerk, the guy who paid you?" "Wasn't him either." "All right, tell you what." "If we find anything out, we'll let you know." "Happy days." "I guess we'll just have to ask your girlfriend if this robbery fits anybody's M.O." "She's not my girlfriend." "Just don't give her Arnold's name." "Okay." "[people cheering]" "Hi, Fred." "Hi, Delinda." "Listen, Fred..." "I just wanted you to know that when we eliminated your bartending internship..." "It wasn't your decision." "You knew?" "I figured as much." "Do you think we have a special connection?" "Absolutely." "Me, too." "Give me a hug." "Okay." "Okay, Fred." "You know, I just wanted to clear the air." "Okay." "Delinda." "Yeah?" "You want to see something really swell?" "Fred, if that's a pick-up line, it's the worst I've ever heard." "No, I was talking about... that fabulous Pontiac Solstice." "Sam." "Yeah." "Ed Deline told me you spoke to the woman in the salon." "Yes, I did." "Have you tried our ice-blended at Cup-A-Jo's?" "It's literally the best thing I've ever tasted." "No." "Did she admit overcharging my wife?" "Yes, she did, and she's very sorry." "Well, at least she admitted it." "There you go." "Hey, Fred, can I see you a minute please?" "Yeah, sure, Mr. D." "Just divide them up." "My treat." "[women exclaiming]" "Very nice." "So I was thinking, if there are any similar robberies... that you haven't cleared, maybe we could tie them together." "I'll run it." "How have you been?" "Good." "You?" "Good." "Thinking about you." "Really?" "You don't meet a lot of cops as beautiful as you." "I've always had a thing for a girl with a.38 strapped to her thigh." "You want me to frisk you?" "Don't even have to read me my rights." "We got four armed robberies within two block of your place in the last year." "All the victims had just left the Montecito." "Looks like someone's tipping someone off." "I have an idea." "Do you mind if I use your computer?" "Go ahead." "(Danny) I'm checking Montecito employees' schedule data." "What were the dates of the other robberies?" "Look at this." "Jack Byrum, the clerk who paid my guy... was also on duty during those four other robberies." "Can you get access to phone records here?" "With probable cause." "If Byrum was tipping people off, he probably had to use his cell phone, no?" "A hunch isn't probable cause." "Tell you what, you access those records..." "I'll take you to dinner." "Anywhere you'd like." "Is that supposed to persuade me?" "And a suite at the Montecito." "They give you guys passkeys?" "(Cho) Byrum called a Vincent Kamen on Lone Mountain... about 10 minutes before all the robberies." "You want to head out there?" "Together?" "Hell, yes." "I guess I owe you a dinner." "Fred, have you really given a thought to what's needed... to run a multi-billion- dollar business?" "I have multi-billions." "No, I know that." "But ours is a very competitive industry." "So do you think that you have the experience you might need?" "Listen, working at Fido Frank's Stereo Corral taught me a lot." "A lot." "I'm sure it did." "I can't imagine you'd want to put 5,000 jobs at risk." "I mean, it'd only take a little mistake, you understand that?" "Yes." "Which is why I've partnered with some people who know a lot more than I do." "Maloofs..." "Hey." "...this is Ed Deline." "Yes, we know each other, thanks." "Now, Gavin and Joe run the Sacramento Kings and the Palms..." "I know that." "Really?" "Then what does Phil do?" "Phil." "He knows a lot of beautiful women." "You do know Phil." "All these years the Palms and the Montecito have been battling it out." "So we finally decided, if we can't beat them, buy them." "So you guys are gonna partner up with Fred here?" "Never hurts to go in business with a deep pockets guy." "Right." "Yeah." "Deep like the Grand Canyon." "Vince?" "Who the hell are you?" "Danny McCoy with the Montecito." "I'm not gonna beat around the bush." "We know you've been in contact with Jack Byrum." "Get the hell out of here." "We're pretty sure he's been tipping you off... when he knows there's someone with a lot of cash leaving the sports book." "Here's my proposal:" "you tell me what you know about Jack... we fire Jack, there's no police, no charges brought... and you get to keep enjoying this very handsome home." "I don't know any Jack Byrum." "Most people, right about now, they'd be saying:" ""Get out of here, I'm gonna call the cops."" "But you can't say that, can you?" "I will call the cops, and I will tell them everything I know." "They'll pick up Jack and he'll tell them everything he knows." "And if you think Jack isn't gonna rat..." "Okay." "Jack would call me whenever he made a big payout... to somebody he thought might be an easy mark." "But I didn't rob anybody, man." "Look, I swear." "The only thing I did was I sell the information." "And then Jack and I, we'd split the proceeds." "Fair enough." "Yeah?" "(Cho) Vince." "You're under arrest." "Conspiracy to commit robbery." "I lied." "Sorry." "[people chattering]" "Mr. Deline." "How are you?" "See, I was right." "That woman in the salon was overcharging." "Well, I have someone looking into that." "Yeah, I know, Sam." "She already did." "And she told me the woman admitted ripping-off my wife." "Well, if that's what she said." "So I assume you're gonna fire her." "We'll certainly talk about it." "What, a slap on the wrist?" "No." "Look, if this woman isn't fired," "I won't be coming back to the Montecito." "And I'll make sure none of my friends come back here, either." "Sam?" "Did you tell Avizan that his wife was being ripped-off?" "And why?" "Well, I don't care if it's embarrassing." "The guy's about to badmouth us to everybody he knows." "So just make it right." "And do it now." "Hey." "Hey." "So the cops arrested Byrum." "Good." "I don't want to see that rat bastard again." "And we found the guy that robbed Arnold, but the money was gone." "That's too bad." "Are you gonna keep him on in landscaping?" "I don't know." "I think he has a bigger upside there than he does in handicapping." "The freaking Devil Rays lost." "You bet it?" "He picked the White Sox right?" "Danny, come on, the party's starting." "Come on." "There could be some security issues, so..." "Hey, Mr. Deline." "Don't worry, I'm not on duty." "No." "It's not a problem, don't worry about it." "Listen, I just came up with a great idea." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "You notice how when people ask for mustard or ketchup or steak sauce... you have to bring all these bottles to the table?" "Exactly." "What would happen if you had one holder for all the bottles?" "Listen to this, you can call it the "condiment caddy."" "I mean, just think what a great investment opportunity..." "Stop." "You know what your weekend results were?" "No, I haven't had a chance to look." "How did we do?" "All losers." "Every single one of them." "What was your winning percentage this entire year?" "I want the truth." "48.5." "That's almost as good as flipping a coin." "I really thought that..." "White Sox game was the turning point, you know?" "I've been doing a lot of thinking." "You're a decent guy." "You're a hard worker, and you mean well." "But you just have to learn to focus." "Focus." "You gotta stop with this handicapping... and the Cutie-chums, and this condiment thing." "I don't know why you gotta mess around with all that crap... when you can really do something very well." "If you're talking about my act, I told you... the world of magic passed me by." "What kind of attitude is that?" "From a guy who can invent a thing that carries mustard and ketchup... while he's sitting here sipping a beer?" "I mean, you could certainly freshen up a magic act." "Even if I did, I just don't think it's the thing..." "No." "If you do, I'll give you a shot, right here, okay?" "You're kidding." "No." "I mean, not the big room, but the Moonlight Corner, a couple of shows." "You would really do that?" "Yeah." "But I mean, you have to quit with the Chums... and the handicapping, and you must straighten out your back taxes." "Mr. Deline, I'm telling you... some of those years, I think I got a refund coming." "Please." "Right." "So can I start right now?" "Yeah, I guess that could be arranged." "Hello." "Hi, Sam." "You remember my wife, Jackie." "Yes." "Hi, how are you?" "Remember when we spoke earlier?" "I wasn't completely candid." "How so?" "Well..." "I said that the salon admitted to overcharging your wife." "That wasn't completely true." "What, did they deny it?" "No." "They just said that the charges were high because the process they had to use... on your beautiful wife was particularly... challenging." "And, I got you those front row tickets to Tom Jones." "And Jay Leno." "You know, that sounds like a lot of malarkey." "No." "You see, sometimes hirsute women have a little extra..." "I'm sorry, what does that mean?" "Hairy." "Your wife's got a lot of hair." "Come on, honey, we're out of here." "Sir, I'm just trying to say they had to use 35 strips..." "And we are not coming back here." "...instead of the normal... [sighing] two strips." "Well, if your wife was alive... and she had married you for your money... maybe she should take this, too." "[scattered clapping]" "Thank you very much." "I'll be back with another show in a few minutes." "[sighs]" "I don't know, Mr. Deline." "If the shirt-off-his-back doesn't get an audience on its feet..." "Arnold, to be honest with you, that's the same act... that I saw 10 years ago." "The same." "I mean, you're a smart guy." "You gotta update." "That's what you gotta do." "You'll be great." "##[music playing] [all chattering]" "Hello." "You look very nice." "Really?" "Yeah." "Thank you." "So how's everything with Jake?" "It's good." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "Good?" "How are things going with Jenny?" "How did you know about that?" "Anyway, nothing's happened." "We haven't even gone out." "Are you gonna?" "Go out or..." "You know, I feel kind of weird talking about dating with you, Mary." "Why do you feel weird... talking about dating with me?" "We're friends, right?" "I mean, that's what friends do." "You know what... (announcer) Ashanti." "##[Only You by Ashanti playing]" "(chorus) Ashanti..." "# Oh, I can't wait to get next to you #" "# Oh, I just can't leave you alone #" "# Boy, you got me doing things that I would never do #" "# And I can't stop the way I'm feelin' if I wanted to #" "# I'm crazy about the way #" "# That you could make me say your name #" "# And if I couldn't have you #" "# I would probably go insane cause #" "(chorus) # Only you can make me feel #" "(Ashanti) # Only you can make me feel #" "# And only you can take me there #" "# Only you can take me there #" "# And only you can make me feel #" "# Only you only you can make me feel #" "# And only you can take me there #" "# Only you can take me there #" "Great." "# Oh, I can't wait to get next to you #" "(Ashanti) # Oh, I just can't leave you alone #" "# Boy, you stay inside my mind ain't no denyin' that #" "# And only you could do them things #" "# That got me comin' back #" "# Gotta be the realest thing that I have ever felt #" "Hey." "Hey." "How are you?" "Good." "(Danny) You look fantastic." "Thank you." "Mary, Jake." "Hi." "Jenny." "(chorus) # Only you can make me feel #" "# Only you can make me feel #" "(chorus) # And only you can take me there #" "(Ashanti) # Only you can take me there #" "(chorus) # And only you can make me feel #" "(Ashanti) # Only you can make me feel #" "If your husband only married you for his money, maybe he'd like this, too." "[people exclaiming]" "(Ashanti) # Crazy 'bout the way you feel #" "# I just gotta have you here #" "# And I wanna let you know #" "# I wont ever let you go #" "# I can't wait to get next to you #" "# Oh, I just can't leave you alone ## [people cheering]"