"People!" "Celebrate!" "Party!" "Day and night!" "The German nation must party!" "That's right!" "Throw off the moral yoke!" "Blow off steam!" "Stop your brooding, forget your worries!" "The German nation must shake off its gloom!" ""FOOLS"" " Did we wake you up?" " No, no..." "You just scared me." "It'll be noisy for the next few days." "If it bothers you, move." "I can't." "Oh..." "Then party with us." "Raise hell." "Gives you thick skin." "Who's he?" "The Nubbel." "He's to blame." "Pays for it in the end, though." " Have a great carnival." " Thanks." " Apartment five?" " Yes." "Thanks." "Hey, got change for that?" "Thanks." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hi..." "Alaaf!" " Morning." " Morning." "How are you?" "Fest Architects." "Who would you like to speak with?" " Alaaf, Romanikin." " Hi, Wolf." "Today we'll let off steam, eh?" "The boss wants to see you." "Come in!" "Mr. Bützer!" "How are you?" " Fine, thanks." " And?" "Settled in okay in Cologne?" " I think I'll find my niche." " Glad to hear that." "How's your grandmother?" "Well, she's over 80 now, so her telomeres... are considerably shorter, and she's got amyloid deposits." "Excuse me?" "Her memory's going fast." "Senile dementia." "Aging... awful." "By the way... before I forget..." "We all address each other by first names." " Roman." " Hi, Roman." "Just call me Gerhard." "Thanks." "Come on, say it: "Hi, Gerhard!"" " Hi, Gerhard." " Hi, Roman!" "Welcome in our midst!" "Thanks." ""Thanks, Gerhard."" " Thanks, Gerhard." " Very good, Roman." "Alaaf!" "What, so early?" "Yes, so early." "You come earlier every year." "It has to be done." "My dear flock, praise the Lord." "Amen." "You all know the moment when your child reaches... for the stove burner... even though you've told him, "lt's hot, you'll burn yourself."" "And you?" "You still burn your paws!" "How does it feel to cross boundaries?" "What's going on inside when I down a whole lot of schnapps?" "When I lie, lust after other men, cheat on my wife?" "You are nothing but horny animals... always an itch in your fingers and in your pants." "And now you sit here, in the Lord's house, and look up pleadingly." ""God in Heaven, we're only human." "Can't you help us?"" ""What?"" ""I can't hear you."" ""Could you speak up a bit?"" "You found just the right words, Reverend." "Ms. Bützer, you always say that, at Christmas, and Easter, too." "Because you always preach the same baloney." " By the way, this is my son, Heinz." " Really?" "This is Heinz?" "Isn't it wonderful, Reverend, that Heinz came along today?" "Any day might be the last, you never... never know." "Grandma, you're fit as a fiddle." "Isn't it sad that children these days... don't even have time for their own mother?" "I don't know what your uncle Heinz is doing today... but your father surely has something better to do." "Isn't it wonderful, Reverend, that Heinz... came along today?" "Yes, let's drink to that!" "To Heinz!" "Drink, boy!" "Uncle Heinz never turns down a beer." "Isn't it wonderful, Reverend, that Heinz came along today?" " What day is today?" " Thursday." "Ah... wonderful." "How about throwing this out?" "Lt reeks." "Out of the question." "Did you hear that?" "He wants to throw you out." "Unbelievable." "Don't worry, I can take care of this myself." " What day is today?" " Thursday." "Right..." "This is taking you forever." "You have one message." "Roman Bützer." "Roman, are you there?" "It's your mother." "I must have missed you again." "I'm beginning to worry." "It's about time." "Take care, my boy." "I'll try again later." "Cheers, neighbor!" "Thanks." "Stop!" "I'm off to an office party." "I need to eat." "Coating your stomach?" "Good!" "Hey, neighbor!" "Come here!" "Come!" "Sit down." "It's on the house." "Thanks." "Enjoy." "Hey, look who's here!" "Romanikin!" " Hello, Roman!" " Hello, Gerhard." "A Kolsch and a schnapps for my friend." "Have you eaten?" "Yes, I have." "Hey, pissy-ass!" "You fucking jerk!" " That cutie digs you." " What?" "Hey, Pollack, your turn!" "Come on, shut up and throw it." "Keep throwing!" "Pussy?" "Boss, leave the other two dumplings in there!" "Your turn, left-handed jerk." "Go for it!" "Grab her!" "Shit!" " That little rat!" " What happened?" "He stole our wallets." "He ran that way." "There!" "Let's go!" "Come on!" "Hold him." " Shouldn't we call the police?" " Shut up." "Asshole, where's our money?" "Let go!" " I'll call the police." " No, you won't!" "That little rat!" "What are you doing?" "That's enough!" "Don't kill him." "Good boy?" "Good boy." "Got it!" "This isn't mine." ""Roman Bützer"." "That's me." "Hi, Roman." "I think you've got a problem now." " We're both witnesses." " That's right." "Don't worry, we won't call the police." "He won't, either." "Right?" "Shut the fuck up!" "Hey, cool it!" "What is it with you today?" "You can't get out of this now, either, Roman." " Roman..."Man-meat" Bützer." " "Ro-man-meat" Bützer!" "Go away!" "I think you need help." "Get lost, little asshole." "Romanikin is back!" "Went exploring on your own, huh?" "Lt's all a bit much today." "This is Stella, a star in the night." " Hi, Roman." " Hi." "Roman, what's wrong?" "Wait..." " Drink this." " No, thanks." "It'll do you good." "What a party!" "Romanikin, you're going home now." "No, I'm staying." "I'm going to dance now." "There's no more dancing." "You two are going home now." " What?" " Come on now!" "Do I have to keep shoving opportunity your way?" "Do you live here in the city?" "No, I'm only here for the carnival." "I used to want to come here, too." "To my grandma's, to celebrate carnival." "I used to literally beg my mom to come here." " She didn't want to?" " No." "She told me the carnival was sold out." " And you believed her?" " Yes." "I did, every year." "As a child, I believed cocks lay the brown eggs." "Really." "My father told me that." "I spent days in the chicken coop waiting to see that." "Stella?" "You're all alone?" "What do you mean?" "You have no brothers or sisters." "That's good." "No need to be afraid for anybody." "You can be afraid alone, too." "What are you afraid of?" "Just... generally." "But that's normal." "It's just hormones." "Hormones?" "Noradrenaline." "When you're afraid, your blood is full of it." "Ten times the usual amount." "Your muscles contract and you feel pain." "It starts in your ankles... and spreads to your shoulders and chest." "You think that's funny?" "My grandma says, "Enjoy yourself sparingly on earth... and you'll have more fun in Heaven."" "Do you believe people go to Heaven when they die?" "I don't know." "I think, when you're dead, there's just nothing." "You don't see, hear, or smell anything." "And the pain in your chest?" "Is it gone?" "I don't know." "Are you leaving?" "A glittering wig..." "A girl..." "Back off." "Stella!" "Stella!" " What do you want?" " I'm sorry..." "Quit staring, ass-wipe!" "Back off!" "Asshole!" "What day is today?" "Lt's Friday, grandma." " When's the parade?" " On Monday." "Like every year." "And what do we do when the parade comes, Dieter?" "We'll go to my place and wave to the Prince from my balcony." "You promised me that last year, the year before, and the year before." "But this time we'll do it." "What day is today?" "Friday." "Today is Friday, grandma." " And when's the parade?" " The fucking parade's on Monday!" "Hence, Monday Parade." "That's not my Dieter." "My Dieter wouldn't say things like that." "My Dieter loves carnival, my Dieter's a happy soul." "I'm not uncle Dieter." "What's wrong with you, boy?" "Nothing." ""Nothing"..." "That's so cute!" ""Dear Roman, We're coming back to Germany." "I hope to see you soon." "Love, Mother."" " That's nice!" " Very "nice"." "She hasn't given a damn about me in eight years." "Nor about you." "She lays in the sun, writing a letter now and then." "And now I'm supposed to act as if nothing happened." "It's time you two made up." "You can't expect her to baby-sit you all your life." "No... but... to simply replace your terminally ill husband... who's fully conscious, with another man..." "Well, she was weak." "You have to forgive her." "Oh, really?" "Says who?" "I do!" "Before I die I want to have peace in this family." "Have I made myself clear?" "Grandma..." "What happened?" "Oh, my..." "I can't even hold my own poo anymore..." "Don't worry." "That can happen to anyone." "You know what my mother used to call shit?" ""The cheerful substance of life"." "It's flowing right through me." "Boy..." "Will you still take me to watch the parade?" "Please..." "To see the parade one last time!" " Please..." " Of course, grandma." "Promise me, boy!" "We'll watch the parade together." "I promise." "Says Franz to his Liese:" ""60 years are enough." "I'm divorcing you, I have a new girlfriend."" "Says Liese: "What?" "I waited for you when you were in the war, I raised your children... and now that you're old I even hold your penis... when you get the urge."" "Says Franz:" ""The other one does that, too." "But she's got Parkinson's!"" "And then?" " Parkinson's!" " Ah, right..." "Hello?" "Stella..." "What are you doing here?" "Stella!" "Stella!" "Stella!" "Wait!" " Stella." " Man..." "Get lost!" " What's wrong?" " Leave me alone." "I have enough problems." " Like what?" " Don't get on my nerves." "Come on now..." "I've been looking for you all day." "What is it?" "I'm looking for my brother." "In the beer cellar?" "He was at the party with us." "I've looked all over." "He's disappeared." "That idiot." "I hope nothing happened." "No..." "No, I'm sure." "Can you help me?" "Can you go to the police and ask them?" "Yes." "He was wearing a black cape and a mask, like Zorro." "Would you do that?" "I'm sure they know something... the police." "You got caught, too?" " Hey, leave him alone." " I didn't do anything." "Relax." "In there..." "Behave yourself, all right?" "Next, please." "Have a seat." "What's the problem?" "I was at a carnival event." "A pickpocket stole my money." "When was that?" "The night before last." "Could've come earlier." " I didn't have time." " Too wasted, huh?" "Got any ID on you?" "No..." "It was in my wallet." " How much?" " How much what?" " How much money?" " Not much." "50 euros." "He was wearing a red cape and a black mask." "Zorro?" "Exactly." "Zorro." "Did you get him?" "Come here." "You see that?" "What?" "There!" "Lt's moving." "You're lucky." "It's feeding time." "No other animal is camouflaged so well." "It's no longer an animal." "It's simply... a moving leaf." "Fascinating, isn't it?" "Around this time the city's full of young pickpockets..." "Dragan, Altin, Sito, or whatever their names are." "Maybe Zorro." "We catch them... give them some food, and then they're out again." "Not much we can do." "They're children..." "Mr. Schmidt." " I don't know if this one's yours." " No..." "Take it." "Case closed." "Very unbureaucratic." "A killer chops his victim up and fries himself a steak." "We used to be so critical, but don't give a shit today." "Children lick that creamy cum, I lick my wife's tampons for fun." "We slaughter every holy cow, what else can we do?" "Love is the last taboo..." "'cause nothing else amuses you." "Roman!" "Roman!" "Did you go to the police?" "And, what did they say?" "They don't know anything, the police." "Thank you." "Sorry, private party." "Let's go to the bar." "I want to be around people!" "Hey, calm down." "I'll take you upstairs, okay?" "I don't want to be in my apartment!" "I need to be around people, you understand?" "You'd better go home now." " And, everything all night?" " What?" "Just a joke." "I meant, everything all "right"?" "At ease!" "Listen..." "Have you got a smoke for me?" " What's the matter, boy?" " Nothing." "Love?" "I don't have it easy, either." "I was elected Carnival Prince last summer." "It was a dream come true." "We celebrated in style." "November came, the session began... and I moved into the Prince's suite there." "Carnival was all there was." "Party, party, party." "Now it's high season, after four months of parades, festivities..." "But let me tell you, as nice as that may be... all that drumming is unhealthy." "Once, the big drum passed right by me, and since then..." " What?" " Deafness." "Tinnitus." "End of legend." " That's bad." " That's what I'm saying!" "So you go to the hospital to get a good listen to that..." "And what do you do then, boy?" "Nothing!" "You've got to go out there and party on." "On Ash Wednesday it'll all be over." "I tell you what, on Ash Wednesday we'll clean up a little... and just a week later we'll be on Mallorca with the bowling club." "Then there's Easter... hunting eggs with the kids in the woods." "I can hear it..." "Next is my wife's birthday, she wants some TLC... and then it's the May Dances again." "So, boy... chin up!" "Chocolate!" "But don't eat it all at once." "You'll get constipated." "Come on, boys!" "Cologne..." "Alaaf!" "Love..." "Alaaf!" "Tinnitus..." "Alaaf!" "Romanikin, what a surprise!" "Come in." "Hit the bottle again?" "Can't get enough of carnival, eh?" " Can I have some coffee, too?" " Sure, help yourself." "Stop staring if you don't like it." "Hey, what happened with Stella?" "Nothing?" "Actually, yes." " It was nice." " "Nice"." "Kissing and snuggling?" "So she was worth the money?" "What?" "Lt's okay." "The boss and I pitched in." "Our welcome present." "You looked so starved." "Don't tell me the little rat stole your money afterwards?" "Romanikin..." "Are you trying to starve me?" "Grandma..." "I'm sorry." "I'll be right over." "Grandma?" "Grandma?" "I was afraid you wouldn't come at all." "Grandma, how did you get up there?" "You've been drinking too much." "I've got special plans for you, boy." "I can't play my father." "Don't worry..." "you'll play my husband." "I want to see him one last time." "You still love him?" "How should I know?" "He's been dead for 60 years." "Listen carefully, boy." "I used to work at the butcher's, right?" "And grandpa made sausage in the back." "Flönz." "Blood sausage." "And the boss used to tell him to keep whistling... so the people wouldn't think he was drinking the blood... while he was at it in the back." "So your grandpa was always whistling." "He loved opera, and I loved his whistling." "And at the Monday Parade he proposed to me." "So I said yes... because I was afraid I'd miss his darn whistling." "Soon after that, grandpa had to go to war." "Love can be so easy." "But so hard, too." "And now play the end of that record, boy." "Only the end." "And whistle along." "Once more!" "Grandma, what's wrong?" "That's it." "This is the end." "Hang in there." "The parade's tomorrow." "Tomorrow's Monday." " My purse..." " Don't worry about it." "My purse!" "Here..." "The polar bear is yours, too." "That's..." "That's impossible..." "What?" "Grandma?" "Grandma?" "Roman!" "Roman..." "Roman!" "I'm busy." "Wait." "Roman!" "What's up with her?" "What's going on here?" "Is this enough... for last night?" "Stella!" "Lt's already Monday, Grandma." "Romanikin..." "What's going on here?" "We're watching the parade." "The woman's dead." "Roman, is everything okay?" " Stella!" " What?" " I told you to leave me alone!" " It's very simple:" "On Thursday night I saw a boy getting beaten up." "It was your brother." "I tried to help him, but I was too weak." "I went back there the next day." "He was lying there." "He's dead." "I'm to blame..." "It's all my fault..." "Do you understand?" "Back off!" " I'm in cahoots with the manikins." " What manikins?" " They killed Zorro." " Calm down." "Sit down over there." " Can you describe the men?" " Yes." "They were wearing red costumes." "And big hats like antlers, with bells." "Bells all over." "Red-and-white striped pants." " Long, pointed shoes." " Both of them?" " One was big, the other one skinny." " Like this?" "Exactly." "Find them!" "Go home, young man." "Get some sleep." "Stella!" "I love you." "Romanikin, what's wrong?" "Don't you recognize your old friends?" "Romanikin, buying us a drink?" "Romanikin, don't be silly!" "Get off there!" "Mom, I'd like to be alone with Grandma for a moment." "Are you all right?" "Roman..." "Alaaf!" "Roman Bützer." "It's Grandma." "I got here just fine." "Up here we feel so beautiful, we don't need anything or anybody." "Marvelous!" "My husband lives right next door." "I can hear him whistle." "I can see you, my boy." "Take your time." "We'll wait for you." "From up here you can see how pale and dull people are." "But you shine brightly." "Bye, my boy." "Grandma." "Done by (c) dcd / February 2013"