"Previously on Desperate Housewives:" "I'm going to be a stay-at-home dad." "Some reversed rolls." "I've been thinking about you." " So you came to ask me out?" "Some were welcomed in." "'Cause I'll say yes." "I moved on." "You should do the same." "Some were shown the door." "Will you marry me?" "And some never got the chance to find out what they really wanted." "Betty Applewhite was a gifted woman." "Everyone had always said so, ever since she was a child." "Her first piano teacher praised her dexterity." "Her first college professor applauded her sense of rhythm." "Her first symphony conductor hailed her dramatic flair." "But Betty was no longer a concert pianist." "She was now just a woman with a secret -- one she was determined to keep by any means necessary." "I'm not a bit surprised that somebody broke into Gabrielle's house." "Wisteria Lane is an easy target." "It's not like the police patrol around here." "We still have the neighborhood watch." "The neighborhood watch is a joke." "When was the last time any of you went on patrol, huh?" "I put security lights on my house." "I say, it's time that we hire professional security." "That sounds expensive." "Could you really put a price on your kids' safety?" "Well, you probably could." "Look, McClusky, I am as worried as everybody else in this neighborhood, but I don't know if guys running around with weapons..." " We've got to stop this." "And say what, "we're against security"?" "But if they find Caleb first..." " Matthew, I'm trying to think." "I'm not talking about a bunch of vigilantes." "I'm talking about trained men who know when to shoot." "Do we really need professional security?" "Are you all going to wait until somebody else is attacked?" "I think it's time to take a vote on armed security." "I'm not scared for now." "I've had enough." "All those in favor..." "Sorry." "Things were just going so -- dramatic." "Wow, you're really good!" "We were taking a vote here." "She was a concert pianist." "Well, I doubled a bit." "Yes, Betty Applewhite was a gifted woman." "And the greatest of all her gifts was her timing." "Season 2 episode 8:" "The Sun won't Set" "Once they've suffered a miscarriage, some women sit alone in the dark for hours." "They refuse to go out in the light of day, afraid to face the possibility that life will go on." "They hold on to reminders of their unborn child and dream of what might have been." "Yes, this is how some women react when they've suffered such a loss." "Gabrielle Solís was not one of those women." "Hi guys!" "Hi honey!" "How are you?" "I'm fine." "Thank you for the messages." "I'm sorry I haven't had the time to return calls." "We all clutter our schedules." "We thought maybe you could use some company?" "So we are going to go to my house, I made banana bread, and we'll put on a fresh pot and just talk about anything." "That -- sounds so nice " "It's just, I'm booked solid today." "My head's going to explode." "Can I take a rain check?" "Sure." "Thanks." "Thanks for understanding." "OK, I will call you tonight, and we'll figure out a time later in the week." "Tell you what, since it's my schedule that seems to be the problem -- why don't I just figure out a time and call you?" "OK." "I have so many errands to run, and a million things to return..." "Oh honey, there's no reason why you and Carlos can't try again." "You'd be an amazing mother." "You should hold onto that stuff for a while." "I would, but the store has this strict 30-day return policy." "Carlos, what happened?" "I've had a rough couple of days." "After you told me about the... the baby." "I kind of lost it." "God, what's with your hands?" "I ripped my mattress open." "Jeez!" "How are you feeling today?" "They've injected me with this tranquilizer thing." "I think it's doing the trick." "We haven't even talked abot names." "I had my top five all picked out." "Honey..." "You want to hear?" "No, I'm good." "You never thought about names?" "No." "It was a little soon for that, don't you think?" "How can you name something the size of a walnut?" "Is this new?" "Do you like it?" "I picked it up on the way here." "You just lost a baby!" "We all grieve differently." "You're sort of taking it pretty well." "I go shopping, you rip toilets out of the wall." "Different strokes." "Are you even sad?" "Oh please." "What do you think?" "Honestly, I don't know!" "Of course I'm sad, it's a sad situation." "Now let go of me!" "Hole me up." "Are you OK?" "I think my tranquilizer's wearing off." "Well, let's get you another round!" "Hey Mike." "So my mom's wedding's in a couple of days, and I know you sent back those little cards saying that you're coming, and that you preferred beef" "(which I changed to fish for you, 'cause I tasted the beef) " "Anyways, I know that was before we -- you know." "Send your mom my apologies, but I won't be attending." "I hope that's not just because of us not being us anymore." "I mean, we could be together at the wedding, and it wouldn't have to be weird." "It'd be weird." "'Course." "Yeah, I see that." "So what've you been doing lately?" "As usual." "Well, I've been writing a book." "Sort of autobiographical." "It's been forcing me to reexamine some of the different things that have made me me, like the fact my mother had me so young, and I never knew my dad... big stuff like that." "I told you about my dad, right?" "He was a Merchant Marine, and his platoon was killed in the battle of Hanoi." "That's strange." "Why?" "Well, Hanoi was on enemy territory." "There wasn't a battle there." "Are you sure?" "That's what my mom said." "I'm pretty sure, yeah." "And Merchant Marines don't fight, they deliver supplies and ships." "Oh." "Well, clearly I have more research to do." "So what do you think?" "My life's story -- would you rush out and buy a copy?" "Susan " "Yeah?" "You're going to need to step back." "Catch catch catch!" "I want to be quarterback!" "Go off for a catch!" "Porter, Preston, what have I told you about playing outside after dark?" "It's not dark." "Does your Dad know you're out here?" "Don't worry, I've been watching them." "They keep setting off my motion sensors." "I ought to send you half my electric bill." "You do that!" "OK, guys, come on over here." "On the sidewalk." "Stay there." "Not on the street." "Thank you." "Hey." "Hey babe." "I'm home." "Could you come here a sec?" "Sure, what's up?" "Block me, come on!" "Damn, they must have snuck out again!" "Again?" "How often does this happen?" "Boys!" "Get in here, now!" "Honey, you know how slippery they are." "It's like trying to herd cats." "Tom, it's 9 o'clock at night!" "Guys, upstairs, now!" "Let's go!" "In the PJs, in the bed!" "Honey, they're fine." "You just worry too much." "And for good reason!" "Someone could've driven off with them, and you wouldn't have even noticed." "They were in the front yard!" "God, when I was their age, I used to hop on my bike, disappear for hours." "My mom never batted an eye." "That was a different time." "You have to be more vigilant." "There was a break-in on this street." "I was at the neigborhood watch meeting, remember?" "I'm sorry, I've been doing this for 7 years." "Trust me, you have to have eyes in the back of your head." "The two in front work just fine, thanks." "Really?" " M-hm." "Where's Penny?" "See?" "Right where I left her." "How did this get in the paper?" "I was going to call you." "We discussed this." "We agreed to go slowly." "I was going to call and cancel after our talk, but things just got so hectic." "I forgot." "Rex has only been dead for 7 weeks!" "So?" "So I don't want every woman in this town talking about me behind my back!" "I'm sorry." "But isn't the damage done?" "Well, fortunately people only read the announcements when there's nothing on the front page, and the headline today was about some catastrophic flood in Sri Lanka." "Oh, so we lucked out!" "Yes, we did." "Now, when the time comes to go public with our relationship," "I need you to discuss it with me first." "I'm the bride after all." "It's only appropriate." "OK." "I will need you to wear that ring now." "The ring?" "You're not wearing it." "Where is it?" "It's in my purse." "Good." "Please put it on." "But if people see it " "They'll assume that you're wearing your wedding ring." "Maybe, but why risk it?" "Because a ring tells would-be suitors a woman is spoken for." "A naked hand invites unwanted attention." "Here, let me." "Will that be all, Mrs Van De Kamp?" "Yes, I think so, Mr Williams." "Oh my God!" "What do you want?" "Eh -- it's cool!" "No, it's not cool!" "Who the hell are you?" "Carlos sent me." "I'm going to call the police!" "My name's Hector." "I met Carlos inside." "Inside what?" "You mean, in prison?" "He told me what happened and asked me to come by and keep an eye on you." "Can I come in?" "No!" "No, you can't come in!" "I brought a cooler, I'll camp out here." "No!" "I can take care of myself, OK?" "OK." "OK?" "Yeah, I get it." "You need your space." "Yes." "Yes I do, I need my space." "Thank you." "I want to show you something." "Come here." "Hi guys!" "I thought about what you said, don't want you to worry, so I had a little talk with the boys." "OK." "Guys, what do we do... if a stranger asks us to take a ride in their car?" "Porter." " We run away and call 911." "Good man!" "Right." "But what if that stranger says, "Hey, I know your Mommy and Daddy"?" "What?" "Preston!" "Still run away!" "Yes!" "OK " "Can I ask a question?" "Yeah, by all means." "What if the stranger is nice and not scary?" "Yes?" "Run away and call 911." "So what if the stranger says they're going to take you... to the circus?" "For pizza and elephant rides?" "Don't look at your Dad!" "Eyes on me!" "What are you going to do?" "We  run away?" "Yes!" "Snap!" "To the kitchen!" "We are having ice cream tonight!" " Yeah!" "You get the bowls!" "You're smiling like that actually meant something." "Lynette, come on." "We worked on this all afternoon." "They get it." "Give me a break." "You know our kids." "I love them dearly, but that goes in one ear and out the other." "I can't reach it!" "I'm going to have some ice cream." "Tom, you're not off the hook here!" "Lynette, I can keep my children alive." "When you left this morning, there were four." "When you came home, there were still four." "When you come home and there are only three, then you get to lecture me." "Excuse me!" "Are you Bree Van De Kamp?" "Yes, I am." "My name is Leila Mitzman." "I hope I'm not interrupting?" "Can I help you?" "This may sound odd, but I felt I should see you." "I read in the paper that you're engaged to George Williams." "Oh, well, that announcement was a bit premature." "But you and George are involved?" "In a romantic relationship?" "Yes." "Then we need to talk." "We'd been dating for 6 months when he asked to marry him." "From the moment I said yes, George got so possessive." "And when he found out my ex lived just down the street," "George accused me of seeing him behind his back." "And then one night, I got a call from the police." "Someone had set my ex's car on fire." "I could never prove anything, but I knew it was George." "I left him the next day." "Well." "I don't know what to say." "I know it's upsetting." "Yes, it is." "To have a complete stranger come into my home, drink my tea and then try to turn me against one of the sweetest men I have ever known." "Honey, you got to trust me." "George is a wack job, and you should get while the getting's good." "I think it's time for you to leave." "One time, I was talking to a guy at the bar, and when we got home, George slapped me." "What do you say to that?" "I say, given your overall demeanor and your free-wheeling used-up epithets," "I'm willing to bet that he was provoked." "When I read you were engaged to George, I felt it was my duty to let you know he's crazy." "But now that I've met you, I can see it's a match made in heaven!" "I'm here!" "Hi, Morty." "Reverend Hopkins." "I'm sorry I'm late to rehearsal." "It's OK, it's all right." "You're here now." "It's fine." "Go in front of me." "OK, Reverend!" "Hit it!" "Mom, can I ask you a question?" "You've got to march, Suzie!" "Got to march!" "I was just researching my book, and I found the strangest thing:" "No one with my father's name was ever a Merchant Marine." "Did I say Merchant?" "I just meant the regular Marines." "I thought you probably did, so I checked that too." "And he wasn't there." "So I called the VA*, [* Veteran's Affairs department] and there is not a single record of anyone named Harrison Ross in Viet Nam." "This is not the time, Suzie." "What's the hold-up with you?" "I'm sorry to upset you, Mom, just -- don't you think that's weird?" "What's weird?" "There's no record of anyone with my Dad's name in the Armed Services." "Oh." "There it is." "There what is?" "Morty, just go on back up there!" "Look, I'm not going to say that I knew this would happen, but " "I knew this would happen." "Mom, I need answers." "Do you have to do this now?" "You are ruining my wedding rehearsal!" "You've been married 4 times." "I think you got it down." "I will not stand here and be attacked!" "Mom, don't walk away from me!" "What do you want me to say?" "You want me to say I'm a bad mother?" "Fine!" "I'm a bad mother!" "Are you happy now?" "Mom!" "Yes, I know what I'm getting into." "Morty, have you seen my Mom?" "Yeah." "She seemed pretty upset." "I think she took a cab home." "Do you need a ride?" "I need you to tell me the truth about my father." "Hop in." "When I was in Korea, I was stationed outside of Pusan." "We'd get these passes, and we'd go into town and have a few beers." "We used to call it RR, in military lingo." "I know what RR means." "So what does this have to do with my father?" "That's what I'm getting to." "Anyway, there were these -- these young ladies." "Professional ladies, if you know what I mean." "Morty, can we just move this on?" "OK." "Long story short, it's just I never figured that my first time with a woman would be in an alley behind a Korean noodle stand with my fatigues down around my ankles." "OK, again -- what does this have to do with my father?" "We've all done things that we're ashamed of." "We all have secrets." "Your father wasn't a war hero." "And he wasn't in Viet Nam." "But why would my mother tell me that?" "Sophie wasn't married to your father." "I'm not sure she even knew his name." "Are you saying that I'm the result of my mother having a one night stand?" "Well, like I said, we've all done things that we're ashamed of." "George." "Bree!" "This is a surprise!" "I'm sorry to drop by unannounced, but I just had this disturbing visit from an old friend of yours, Leila Mitzman." "She shouldn't have contacted you." "Well, she did, and she said some pretty horrible things about you." "You should know that she's a renowned liar." "That's what I thought, at first." "But then, having had time to think about it," "I can't understand why she'd go to so much trouble." "I mean, what would her motive be?" "She's obsessed with me." "She still wants me." "Wasn't that obvious?" "No." "The woman is absolutely certifiable." "What's more, I can prove it." "Leila was a customer here." "Even though she's no longer welcome, we still keep her prescriptions on file." ""Fluoxatine 100 mg, Respiradon 250 mil" " " I'm sorry, what is this?" "One is an antidepressant, for mood swings;" "one is an antipsychotic, to control hallucinations." "Like I said, she's a very troubled lady." "Well, why did you date her in the first place?" "In the beginning, you're blinded of flaws, right?" "That's true." "In the beginning." "So?" "We're good?" "Yeah." "Of course we are." "Your mail came." "You said you were leaving." "No, I said I was giving you space." "I did." "I was watching you from my car." "Look, the guy who broke in stole ice cream." "I don't think I'm in any danger." "So you can go." "I don't need you." "Carlos says you do." "Where are you going?" "Shopping." "Not that it's any of your business." "You sure like to shop!" "Yes, I do." "It's all I've seen you do the past day and a half." "All that shopping, you must be making up for something." "Excuse me?" "You know, Carlos has your number." "He says you're one tough cookie." "So tough you don't know how to deal with your feelings." "He's a perceptive man." "He thought I was cheating with two gay guys." "You sure you want to go with "perceptive"?" "Let's see -- it's been, what?" "a week since you've lost your baby?" "Yeah, so?" "So I never heard of shopping out the pain." "Why is everyone on my back about this?" "I will deal with my loss my way, OK?" "Where are you going?" "I " "I just thought I will go out and look some more." "Maybe try the park." "In the middle of the night?" "Well, he hasn't really been showing his face in the daylight, has he?" "Or would you rather we just let Caleb on the loose?" "He could be in trouble." "Or hurting another girl." "He didn't hurt Mrs Solís, Matthew." "He was just hungry." "I wasn't talking about Mrs Solís." "But you know that." "So are you still going to be my Matron of Honor?" "Of course I am." "I'm not going to pretend like I'm not still a little freaked out." "I am." "But I did a lot of thinking about it this morning, and I think I understand." "You wanted to protect me, and you thought I needed a hero." "I had one:" "you." "I was so worried it would screw you up." "Well, I am screwed up." "But that wasn't your fault." "... entirely." "Hey, Stu." "You busy?" "Nah, just updating my blog." "'Cause I've got an important assignment for you." "Great!" "I'm ready to take on more responsibility around here." "I applaud that." "But what I need is for you to help me prove a point -- to my husband." "Ah!" "You want to make him jealous!" "Uh, no." "Actually " "I need you to kidnap my children." "Stop hitting me!" "OK, so what am I supposed to be looking at?" "Just wait for it." "I'm Ironman, and I'll make you wack!" "OK." "There he comes." "What's going on?" " Hey, who're you calling dirty?" "I'm just trying to prove a point." "Hi!" "Little boys!" "Hell, who is that?" "It's just Stu from our office." "You guys want to go for a ride?" "And is he abducting our kids?" "Maybe." "This is crazy." "Why?" "Are you worried they might get in?" "We can go to the -- carnival!" "You like carnivals?" "We're not allowed to talk to strangers." "Rotten boys." "So why don't you boys get in the car?" "Run away." "Run!" "Get in the car, and I'll give you some candy!" "Yeah, candy!" "Why aren't they running away?" "Chocolate ball!" "Well " "This is not the time to be smug." "Clearly, our sons are idiots." "OK?" "OK, jeez, everyone share." "Hi." "Hi!" "Oh my God!" "Run, kids, run!" "Don't you dare!" "You pervert!" "Hold on, you're not going anywhere!" "Anyway, after we wrap this shindig," "I'm whisking my new bride away on a 4 month cruise around the world." "I would have been happy with a weekend in Vegas, but -- you know " "Anyway, here she is, my beautiful bride." "I want to thank everyone for coming, and specially my Morty, who's helped me be a better person." "And I want to thank my amazing daughter, Susan, and tell her how much I appreciate her love and respect." "'Cause I'm a horrible person." "And she deserves so much better than me." "Honey " "No, no." "Susan needs to know the truth." "Your father was not a one night stand." "He was 33, and he was married." "And he was my boss." "When I told him I was pregnant, he broke it off." "He never spoke to me again, but gave me my beautiful, incredible daughter." "And for that I want to thank" "Addison Prudey." "Oh my God." "Do you know where he is?" "I have no idea." "I swear, if I knew I would tell you." "I know Addison Prudey." "He runs the feed and supply store at 3rd and Sutherland." "Prudey is a fairly common name, of course, so..." "Is that him?" "Yes." "Are you saying that all this time, my father has been alive and just right across town, running the supply and feed store?" "Susan " " I can't believe this!" "You're not still seeing him, are you?" "Something wrong?" "You've been so quiet all evening." "No, no, I'm just tired, that's all." "Care to dance?" "Might pep you up." "I don't think so, but thank you though." "Bree, where is your ring?" "Oh, um " "The stone is loose, so I'm going to take it to the jeweller's." "But don't worry, it's safe." "This isn't about Leila, is it?" "No!" "Just like I told you, the stone can pop off at any second." "Well, I don't care." "Please put it on." "What?" "I want you to wear it." "I'm sorry, but I'm not going to." "Why not?" "Because I don't feel like it." "And this is the last time we're going to talk about this, OK?" "Excuse me, Ma'am, we don't allow members of Zeta Beta Kappa in here." "Ty!" "Ty Grant!" "Oh boy!" "What are you doing in town?" "Visiting my folks." "Oh my goodness!" "George, this is Ty Grant." "We used to date in college." "Ty, this is George, um -- he's a good friend of mine." " Hi." "Actually, we're engaged." "Bree, you look fantastic." "You haven't aged a day." "Ty, would you like to dance?" "Sure." "I'd love to." "Let me take your coat." "I need to cut in." "George!" "Would you please sit down?" "You're being rude." "Am I in the middle of something?" "Well, at least put on the ring." "No!" "George, I don't want to!" "We are engaged!" "You have to wear it!" "George " "Hey, knock it off, man!" "Drop it!" "I'm sorry." "I just " "We're engaged." "See, the thing is " "I don't think we are anymore." "Bree." "Please " "You should go." "I'm sorry." "All right." "Right over there, Sir." "Management likes us to keep the nice cars out front." "Afternoon!" "New hairdo?" " So what if it is?" "Looks nice, that's all." "You know, I also got a facial, and later on, I'm going to get a pedicure and an eyebrow wax, so there!" "That's fine with me." "No, it's not." "Because I know what you're thinking." "Yeah?" "You know what?" "I'm tired of you judging me." "What is it going to take to get rid of you?" "What's your last name?" "Ramos." " Ramos." "Here is $1,000." "I won't tell Carlos you didn't stick around." "It'll be our little secret." "I just got out of prison." "I'm not exactly set up with a bank account." "Can we go to your bank and cash this?" "And then you'll leave?" "Hey, it's a grand!" "Buckle up!" "You don't have a -- a window thingie." "Nope." "You don't have a door handle either." "Nope." "But I do have a confession to make." "Carlos didn't really send me to protect you." "Go figure, no one else in the park." "We got it all to ourselves." "Perfect." "Why don't you go find us a good spot?" "I got to get something out of the trunk." "Hey, where the hell are you going?" "You're not going to kill me?" "I hadn't planned on it." "Besides, if I was going to kill you, I wouldn't use a balloon." "Would take too long." "What am I supposed to think?" "You lie about protecting me, and then you lock me in that heap without door handles so I can't get out!" "Carlos sent me to help you with your grief." "You're kidding, right?" "No!" "Look, I know a little something about loss." "Can take you to some real dark places." "Specially if you don't face it head on." "Like 17 years in a 6'x10' prison cell." "Dark." "What's this for?" "The balloon represents the spirit of the life lost." "By letting it go, you're acknowledging the pain you feel, and releasing it at the same time." "That's ridiculous." "Besides, I don't feel what you think I'm feeling." "Then it should be really easy." "Fine." "If I do this, will you go?" "Yeah." "OK." "Should I say something?" "If you want to." "Not really, no." "That's cool." "Anytime." "It's stupid." "I didn't even want this baby." "Yeah." "And I would have been a terrible mother." "If you say so." "If it was a boy, I was going to name it Charlie." "Yeah?" "And a girl, Aurora." "Those are nice names." "Thank you." "What is it, boy?" "What's going on out here?" "Call the police!" "You need me zapping' him?" "Just call the police!" "Is that the guy who broke into your house?" "Uh, I don't know, I can't see him." "Yeah, that's him." "In a world filled with darkness, we all need some kind of light." "Whether it's a great flame that shows us how to win back what we've lost, or a powerful beacon intended to scare away potential monsters," "2, 4, 6, 8, you are... or a few glowing bulbs that reveal to us the hidden truth of our past." "We all need something to help us get through the night." "Even if it's just the tiniest glimmer of hope."