" Bless you." " It's freezing in here." " Look at that green thumb." " I wish." " How's your sinuses?" " Better." "Good." "I should be home by 7:00." "Honey, can you call the landscapers again about the sod?" "They gotta get moving, or we're gonna miss..." " I'll try them again." " Thanks, hon." "Maybe it's the couch." "Great!" "So... we were thinking... in here... with the... coming-out part along the wall?" "Okay, sure." "And I guess come in through there." " Not through there?" " Right." " Okay." " Great." "Thanks." "Big push." "Four more." "Three, two." "Now reach up to the corner." "Up and up." "Nice." "Good stretch, Bev." "Nice." "Push it." "Four more." "Three, two." "Sasha, here we go." "Take it around." "Two, two." "Down." "Two, two." "Two more." "Here we go." "Let's smile, ladies." "Right, two, three, and left, two, three." "Well, I just eventually found... the whole 12-step thing was like... just another form of addiction." " That's exactly what this book is saying." " Yeah?" "Yeah, it's about how to own your own life." "Because what he's saying is that we don't really own our own lives." "We're taught what to do, what to think.... but emotionally we're not really in charge." "But see, I think that with the exercise... and the diet and healthy foods..." "I just think he's very good at certain things." " Really?" " Oh, yeah." " Have you read him, Carol?" " No." "He's very good on certain things... emotional maintenance... stress management." "You know, Carol, you do not sweat?" "Oh, I hate you." "I know." "It's true." "No, it's great." " Hi." " Hi." " Did you forget?" " No." "It's inside." " I just..." " What?" "Something happened." "Come in." "How old was he?" "Five years older." "He was the oldest of my mom's kids." "It... wasn't..." "No." "That's what everyone keeps..." "Not at all." "'Cause he wasn't married." "Right." "It's just so unreal." " Did you see the den?" " At your party." "It's gorgeous." "You know, I'm suing the contractor." "Did I tell you?" "No." "You don't even want to know." "Fulvia?" "I'm home." "Hello?" "Hi, Mother." "What?" "No." "I just walked in the door." "That's all right." "How are you feeling?" "How's your back?" "That's good." "It's not a bad time, Mother." "I just..." "All right." "That's fine." "He's fine." "They're fine." "I will." "I will, Mother." "Okay." "I'll talk to you soon." "Okay." "Bye-bye." "Fulvia?" "Any telefono while I was gone?" "Oh, my God." "No, missus." "No telefono." "Is this what they delivered?" "Fulvia?" "We did..." "We did not order black." "This is..." "This is..." "This is not what we ordered." "Turn your love around" "Yes, in Sherman Oaks." "May I have the number... for Nelson's on Riverside, please?" "I don't believe this." "Ye..." "Thank you." "Yes, may I have the shipping or delivery depart..." " Thank you." " That you're still in love with me" "We're gonna make it" "And we're gonna take it back where we belong" "Turn your love around" " Mom?" " What, Rory?" " Mom, soccer practice." "Don't forget." " I didn't forget last time." " Whatever." "It's the bus." "I gotta go." " It was a mix-up." "Okay." " Bye." " Bye, honey." "Fulvia?" "Fulvia?" " Fulvia?" " Si?" "Where's my book?" "My telephone book?" "I put it in the bottom shelf... because of the cabinet men." "Oh, okay." "I see." "Thanks." "You've got to step back and say, "Wait a minute." "It's not an honor or a privilege or even a duty to be a patient." "If people don't want it on religious grounds or quality-of-life grounds..."" " Fulvia, could I have some milk?" " Si." " Some leche, por favor?" " Si, seguro que si." "...to let a critically ill patient die... but you're also saying it is all right to hasten that death." " I didn't say that." " I disagree with that." "Isn't Elizabeth Bouvier, by starving herself, hastening her own death?" "No, I think you have to draw a distinction... between steps the doctor could take to actively kill somebody..." "Senora." "Thank you." "You okay, missus?" "...and say, "Whatever happens, we are going to withdraw from the situation."" "It's terrible to say with 30 seconds left, but isn't that a thin line?" "But it's a very important line." "It's one thing to remove a piece of machinery... whether big as a respirator or small as a feeding tube." "It's another thing to say, "His life isn't worth much anyway... so we're gonna help you out more."" "Sorry." "They were in the back." "Oh, it's okay." "Thanks." " Oh, that purse is adorable!" " Thank you." " How's your little girl?" " Oh, she's fine." " She's so cute." " Oh, thank you." "Okay." "Bye." "Bye." "No, we wanted teal." "We ordered teal, but we received black." "But your original order shows black." "That's impossible, because it doesn't go with anything we have." "All right." "All right." "Let me try the Sherman Oaks store upstairs." "See what they have in stock." "Thank you." "If I told you the end of the world was coming... and you said to me that you'd get on your knees... and you'd pray, I'd say you're in trouble." "Because when I go to bed and pull those covers under my neck..." "I say, "Jesus, I'll see you in the morning."" "You do that very well." "Thank you." "I was raised in a fundamentalist church." "I heard this all my life." "We sang songs about being in God's army..." "I think you've changed the subject." "I see a president who's embattled... and a president who's, based on..." "what do I base it on?" "... not being close to him but close to people who are... in the press who watch him carefully, as being very pained at the moment... and certainly... a man who wants to make his mark..." "I've never heard anybody ever say he's that fundamentalist... that he believes the end is nigh." "I really..." "You and I take a different view on that one." "But are you married to Marjoe?" " No." " Just, you sound... the technique." "I just really believe... he thinks he's doing the Lord's work." "He's always been a very..." "Maybe he's right." "In California" "KABC talk radio" "A movement to save the trees?" "Some say it goes deeper than that." "Today, environmentalists from all over the globe... are adopting a new, more holistic approach to their studies... which they call "deep ecology."" "Deep ecology goes beyond the traditional scientific framework... to incorporate a greater spiritual awareness of the planet." "Or, as ecophilosopher Parlum Grass puts it..." ""an understanding of the oneness of all life."" ""I have a feeling that we are entering a new time," Pearcel writes..." ""a period of a different paradigm or model." "A period of learning to run warm and cool... not hot and cold, toward viruses... cells, and one anoth..."" "I started this fruit diet." "I've been so out of it since my brother's funeral." " Have you ever done one?" " No." "They're supposed to sort of naturally cleanse the body... of all the toxins." "I should do it." "I've been so run down lately." "Really?" "Yeah, I've just been really busy." "We have this client dinner coming up, so..." "Right." "Maybe you should try it." "No." "It'd be a lot of fun." "We could do it together." "Come on." "Why don't you just try it?" " Do you know what you want?" " Yes." "I am going to have the fruit salad and the herbal iced tea." "Okay." "And for you?" "I'll have the same." "I got one." "I got one." "This beautiful, shapely blonde runs into the emergency room... and when they ask her what's wrong, she says..." ""It's kind of embarrassing... but I was using my vibrator, and it got stuck." "I can't get it out." "It's stuck inside."" "So they rush her into emergency, admit her... they rush her to the operating room, and they get some specialist... to perform the surgery, and it's a ten-hour ordeal." "And finally she wakes up the next day... and the specialist walks in and says..." ""Well, I got some good news and I got some bad news." "The bad news is we did everything we possibly could." "We tried everything, but we just couldn't get the darn thing out." "We just couldn't." "But the good news is... we were able to change the batteries."" "Somebody doesn't seem to like your jokes, Ted." "Carol..." "Excuse me." "I-I don't..." "Sorry." "I'm so sorry, Greg." "You're just..." "You're overexerted, I guess." "I've never..." "Maybe the doctor can give you something for it." "Well." "I really don't see anything wrong with you, Carol." "I mean, outside of a slight rash and congestion." "Now, I'll give you some ointment... and some decongestant, but... jeez, I-I don't know what else to do." "Are you..." "Well, what?" "I guess I'm just a little stressed out lately." "And just tired from it." "Well, that's not uncommon." "You're not doing drugs, are you?" "No." "I don't take drugs or drink or..." "I don't even, like coffee very much." "I'm just a total milkaholic, actually." "I mean, before the fruit thing." "Well, stop the fruit diet." "You need protein." "And while you're at it... try staying off dairy." "Dairy's very hard on your digestion... hard on your intestines." "I'll see you in a couple weeks." "You'll be fine." "Thanks." ""In the '80s, there are more and more gangs in the Los Angeles basin... plus many more stabbings and shootings by AK-47s..." "Uzis and MAC-10s... killing numerous innocent people." "L.A. was the gang capital of America." "Rapes, riots, shooting innocent people... slashing throats, arms and legs being dissected... were all common sights in the black ghettos of L.A." "Today, black and Chicano gangs are coming into the valleys... in mostly white areas more and more." "That's why gangs in L.A. are a big American issue." "Rory White."" " Good job, Ror." " Why does it have to be so gory?" ""Gory"?" "That's how it really is." "God." " Hey, hey, hey." " You want some coffee?" "Yeah, I'd love some." "So what did Hubbard have to say?" "He just said I should... slow down a little, you know." "Stop the fruit diet." "Eat less dairy." "That's exactly what I said, isn't it?" "I knew that whole fruit thing didn't make any sense." "But basically... there's nothing to really worry about, aside from being a little run down." "Well, that's good." "So..." "Dad, how do you spell "Uzi"?" "Just how it sounds:" "U-Z-I." "...my dreams" "Get into my car" " Thanks." " Get out of my dreams" "Carol..." " we doing a regular cut today?" " Yeah." "Get out of my mind" "Actually, I was thinking of-of... trying a perm for a change." "Perming it." "Elyse didn't tell me you scheduled a perm." "No, I didn't schedule one." "I just thought of it now, of trying it, unless..." "No." "No, there's time, actually." "I..." "I had a cancellation." " You still want that manicure?" " Sure." "Thanks." "Let's make a deal Make it real" "Like a roadrunner coming after you" "It's very cute on you." "It looks nice." " Oh..." "Oh, my God!" " Oh, my God." "Paula, do you have a Kleenex?" "Do you..." " Oh, my God!" " Anyway, so... so we meet him for lunch, Cosford, Ted, and I... and who comes in but this kid in shorts." "He looked like he was about Jonas's age." "Couldn't believe it." "Ted said I looked like I'd seen a ghost." "I like what they did with your hair." "It's great." "I like it." "I'm glad, honey." "Yeah." "Sexy." "How you feeling?" " I still have this..." " What?" "This head thing." "Oh, boy." " Greg..." " Carol, what the hell is going on here?" " Nothing." " Nobody has a fucking headache... every night of the fucking week!" "I must have a touch of something, because I..." "I don't want to hear about it." "I'm sorry." "I..." "I know it's not normal, but..." "I can't help it." "Good night." "Sixties at the beaches and lower 70s downtown." "Valleys will climb to the mid-70s." " Fifty-nine degrees in Hollywood." " Traffic on KNX every six minutes." " Here's John Engel." " Thanks, Susan." "It's been another rough morning." "You need patience on the Southland freeways." "It started with that downpour you were talking about." "Had a lot of rain." "Right now it's quite the hike." "Sure hope you brought camping gear for that Ventura westbound transition... to the Golden State southbound." "Non-injury accident in the left lane at the trans road." "When you stop at Pacific, that's what you have to Sherman Oaks." "But there is some good news." "Just spoke to the van, and guess what?" "91 westbound's a cakewalk all through the Santa Ana canyon." "Actually, you're close to maximum speed." "You can even go... maybe 45 miles an hour... 91 westbound to the 15 through the canyon... into Anaheim Hills, and enjoy that while you can." "I'm sorry, honey." "Me too." "It's okay." "It's okay." "Hey." "You're all right." "Jesus, honey." "Take a deep breath and hold." "Release." "Again." "Release." "Again." "Release." "Again." "Okay." "Hey, Greg, how the hell are you?" " Good, good." "And you?" " I'm okay." "Have a seat, guys." "Well... basically, Carol, you are perfectly healthy." "If anything, your condition has slightly improved since your last visit." "Now, this is just a suggestion, but... you might want to consult someone, and I know... a very, very good doctor who's just more suited... to stress-related conditions, which I think this is." " A psychiatrist?" " Yeah." " Everything all right, ma'am?" " What?" "Yeah." "What are you doing, honey?" "I..." "I couldn't sleep." "The air, the... the smell." "Okay." "Clap." "Slow it down." "And bring the knee up." "Pull." "Good." "Get those knees up there." "Tummy in." "Exhale." "Exhale." "And push it out." "Here we go." "Push." "And right." "Push left." "Right." "Four more." "Three." "Good!" "Let's scoop to the right." "Two, three." "Good." "Get that leg up there." "Whoo!" " Carol." " Hi." " Are you okay?" " Yeah, I just have to get somewhere." "Oh." "I'll see you at Barbara's Sunday?" " See you Sunday." " Okay." " Okay, bye." " Bye." "Do you work?" "No, I'm a house..." "I'm a homemaker." "I'm working on some designs for our house, though... in my spare time." "And..." "And you have one child?" "My husband's little boy." "He's not my son." "He's my stepson." "Rory." "He's ten." "How long have you been feeling unwell?" "About two months." "Three..." "I've been under a lot of stress lately... and then my friend Linda and I..." "She's probably my best friend." "She lives down the..." "Anyway... we started this fruit diet together." "I think that sort of set it off." "So..." " Are you uncomfortable?" " No." "I..." "I just thought..." "I mean..." "Aren't you supposed to ask more questions?" "Well, no." "We really need to be hearing from you." "What's going on... in you?" " Oh, that's so cute!" " Isn't it?" " Look at this." " I love that little bunny." " I know." " I wonder what it could be." " Hope she doesn't..." " Oh, a baby book!" " Look at that." " Oh, God, it's beautiful!" " You don't have one?" " No, no." " I'm so glad." " I love it." "It's perfect." "If you need to take it back, I won't be offended." "It's from Neiman Marcus." "Oh, no, no." "I really love it." "It's perfect." "It's so sweet." "You should see my baby book." "It's this disgusting puke orange." " That's very appetizing, Barbara." " I'm serious." "Okay, Lynn." "My turn." " Linda, thank you." " I hope you like it." "That's so pretty." "Did you wrap that yourself?" "God, are you kidding?" "I wish I were that creative." "I've seen you wrap things." "Oh, I can't even draw a straight line." "Oh, God!" "I love this!" " Do you?" " Look at this." "It's a mobile." "I thought it'd look great over a crib." "Who wants decaf?" " Herbal tea?" " You must be so excited." " We're really happy." " Real coffee?" " He must be so happy." " "Ecstatic" is more like it." " What do you think you'll name it?" " That is so great." " Barbara?" " Yeah, hon?" " Where's your bathroom?" " There's a powder room... off the entrance hall to your right." "I like "Tyler." Gary likes "Alex."" "Mommy!" "I heard you, Elyse!" "I don't know what you should draw now!" "Let Mommy have grown-up time with the other mommies, okay?" "Someone told me they heard she was seeing their shrink... so I just thought you might have..." "No." "I didn't even know that..." "Is something wrong with Carol?" "No." "We were just..." "'Cause her skin looks kind of..." "Her hair looks really cute, but..." "Elyse, your ice cream is melting, and Mommy is very busy!" " Did you get some?" " No." " Do you want some?" " No." " Are you sure?" " Yeah." "Carol, this is yours." "And you have to eat it immediately, 'cause it's melting all over." "Oh, I shouldn't." " What do you got there, honey?" " My coloring book." "Can I see?" "Oh!" "She's gotten so big." "Barbara, this is delicious." "You know, we haven't really talked lately." "How are you doing?" "Good." "I've just been a little..." " Lookit." "It's you." " Oh." "Yeah." "Under the weather." " Right." " Lookit." "She's a princess." "Oh, that's very good." "It's very realistic." "Ladies, we are now opening the big present." "Please come in." "Okay." "Here we come." "Come on, Elyse." "Let's go look at the big present, okay?" " Want to sit on my lap?" " Yeah." "My God." " Look at this fancy wrapping." " Yeah." "You girls did too much." " Come on, don't be polite." " I'm trying!" "A stroller!" "Oh, thank you!" "That's exactly the one I wanted!" "Oh!" "There's a package with the wheels inside." "You just screw them in." "Even you can do it." "Mommy?" "Carol?" "You all right?" "Carol..." " What's going on?" " I don't know." "Carol?" "Oh, my God." "Linda, what happened?" "She can't breathe!" "Eileen, call her house." "Someone should call her doctor." "Jennifer, could you get some water, please?" "Just try to relax, okay?" " Calm down." " It's okay." "It's all gonna be fine." "Just relax." "Just..." "Just relax." "Breathe." "Carol!" "My name is Carol White... and I live in Southern California." "I saw your notice at the health club near my house... and decided to write and tell you a little bit about myself." "For some time now, I have not been feeling up to par... and was hoping your organization might be of some help." "I'm originally from Texas... although I've lived in the L.A. area most of my life." "I had asthma as a child, but it never really got in the way... of school or recreation." "I've always thought of myself as someone... with a pretty normal upbringing... and as basically a healthy person... but for the past several months... that has all started to change." "Suddenly I find myself feeling sick." "Honey, what's going on?" "I've been calling." "I thought you were asleep." "Someone..." "Brenda called about trading..." "Thursday carpool for Saturday or something like that." "She said you'd know what that was about." "Anyway, she said she'd call you back." "I thought you were asleep 'cause you weren't..." "Wh-What are you doing?" "I was writing this..." "I don't even..." "Oh, God, what is this?" "What?" "Where am I... right now?" "We're in our house." "Greg and Carol's house." "Who are you?" "You are of all ages and from all walks of life." "But you find you all have one thing in common:" "strange, never-ending ailments." "Suddenly you can't cook dinner anymore... because the smell of the gas from your stove makes you ill." "Or if you take the freeway, you feel as if you might choke on the fumes." "Your family and friends tell you that you're overreacting... that it's all in your head." "But your symptoms worsen." "Fatigue and depression turn to migraines... blackouts, even seizures." "Now, if this sounds familiar... you're not alone." "What you most likely are is one of a vastly growing number of people... who suffer from environmental illness." "That means that, for reasons not yet known to us... certain people's natural tolerance to everyday substances... is breaking down, usually as a result... of some kind of chemical exposure." "Today, there are 60,000 chemicals in everyday use... yet only ten percent are tested for human toxicity." "This is a disease that you catch... from your environment." "Fulvia?" "Fulvia?" "Greg?" "Carol?" " You scared me." " Sorry." "No, I'm sorry." "I was just..." "I just took Fulvia down." "So did you just get home?" " Yeah." " So how did it go?" " What?" " Your thing this morning." "What was it on?" "Well, it was just this thing on getting sick on fumes and bug sprays... and stuff." "You mean, on... like, pollution?" "More about people who get sick from chemicals... and what it does to you." "Who told you to go to this?" "No, I just..." "At the health club, I saw a flyer." "So you think this is what's made you..." "I mean, why you've been sick?" "Because of... bug spray?" "No, I..." "I just..." "I don't know why." "Okay, that's milk at .01 of three." "So most of the time, there's a trigger... new carpeting, new kitchen, new car." "Or somebody works around paint fumes or strong fragrances." "Okay." "No reaction." "Please prepare..." " .01 of two." " Right." "Then one day, bam, it hits you, and suddenly your body is reacting... to everything like a Geiger counter..." "food, air, everything." " .01 of two, milk." " Thank you." "What we're doing now is testing about 50 separate foods and molds... to determine what your neutralization doses will consist of." "And then they'll... they'll stop it?" "No." "Arm, please." "No, neutralization-provocation is a way to aid you... during your cleaning-up process, but that's all it really is, is an aid." "Okay, this'll sting just a little bit." "Dr. Reynolds, call for you on 8." "Dr. Reynolds, Eric Delaney on 8." "Okay, that's milk at .01 of two." "Excuse me." "Are you okay?" "Eric, Dr. Reynolds." "What's up?" "Right." "Right." "Well, look." "If your oasis and twice-a-week injections don't simmer you down... you know you have other hidden sensitivities most likely molds or fungus." "Continue the rare fruit diet, and if you don't get better... check back with me or have Dr. Baines check into... an unresolved Candida problem." " Dr. Reynolds, she's reacting." " Eric, I gotta leave you." "Prepare a neutralizing dose at .01 of three, please." "Carol, this will cease momentarily." "I apologize for any discomfort." "Sarah, be sure to record..." "pulse-rate change following injection." "Okay. .01 of three milligrams." "Okay, thank you." "Just take it easy." "Okay." "Okay, we have palpitations with deep distress... in conjunction with a racing pulse rate of 104." "There's flushing and some wheezing." "Bit of swelling in the mouth." "This is a big one, Carol." "Milk's a biggie." "It's okay." "Are you okay?" "Have some water." "Yeah." "We can turn it on and off like a switch." "We just don't know how to make it go away." "The first thing you need to do in order to "clear"... is create an oasis in which to live." "Your oasis is your safe place, your toxic-free zone... where your load has been significantly reduced." "For some, that can mean... an airtight, porcelain-lined enclosure... something like a refrigerator." "For others, their safe room... is just a stripped-down room within their house... that's conducive to good ventilation... or air control." "My name is Sarah Pinter." "I live in Orange County, near a fumigation company... and we're in the process of a suit against the company... for improper handling of their chemicals, so..." "Great." "Thank you." "Yes?" "Would you stand, please?" "My name is Abigail Cartier-Rousseau... and my sensitivity originated with fragrances." "I was employed for 23 years." "I've been spending some time... at the retreat in Wrenwood, so I'm doing much better." "Great." "Great." "Terrific." "Thank you." "And you, ma'am?" "Honey." "My name's Carol White." "This is my husband, Greg." "We live in the San Fernando Valley." "Greg." "We're here for my wife, who's been ill... to learn more information... and hopefully gain from it as well." "Thank you." "I hope so too." "My doctor thinks I'm nuts." "He thinks the whole thing is completely in my head." "That's what my husband still thinks." "It is in your head." "It's in all our heads." "What do you mean by that, Helen?" "It makes you crazy." "She's right." "It ends up in your head because it affects the neurological." "And it will make you depressed." "It really will." "I mean, how does a five-year-old say it's psychosomatic?" "How does he make his eyes swell shut?" "Why would he want to do that?" "He can't go into "Chunky Cheese" anymore." "He can't go into ShowBiz." "Why would he do that to himself?" "It's true." "It's like, you go into a building... you're walking along the hall." "You don't know when that monster is gonna jump out at you." "You're just, like, going along the wall..." " like any normal person." " Right." "With your mask and your oxygen tank... and your bottled water." "So at first I didn't understand why citrus... since I had tested negative for citrus, until all of a sudden..." "I remembered how the oranges had rolled out of their plastic... into the bag with Greg's papers in them." "'Cause newspapers, the ink..." " Really?" " ...also... yeah." "That, and..." "You know our couch?" "Our beautiful new couch?" " Yeah." " Totally toxic." " Really?" " Yeah." " Wow." " I know." "So..." "It's hard." "Like, I..." "I can't wear makeup anymore." " God." " Burns my eyes." "I get sick." "Well, I guess one good thing is just... how it's made you so much more knowledgeable... on food and everything, and chemicals." "That's true." "They just know so much more about it there, though... the people who go through this." "I mean..." "So much of it, too, is that we were raised... and grown in a chemical place." "And you go into a grocery store... and you-you-you you grab a chemical... without reading, without investigating..." "Sorry." "But anyway, it's just made me... more aware than I used to be." " You know what I mean?" " Yep." "Next up, the load:" "What is it, why is it... and what can be done to improve it?" "First, what is your total load?" "Well, in the chemical-laden world in which we live... impurities are all around." "Everyone must deal with a certain amount of impurities and toxins... at any given time, and that's your load." "It's the maximum amount of toxins... your body can tolerate... which, for most people, is rather large." "But a chemically sensitive person is not able to carry a normal load." "What we have to do is unload." "This means we go back to zero... and, starting from scratch, substance by substance... we build the load back up." "Remember, the goal is to get clear." "And so the safest and quickest way to clear is to fast." "Fasting, which can last up to five days, depending on the individual... is usually followed by the rotation diet... or the rare foods diet... both of which help protect the system... while reintroducing foods back into it." "Whatever diet you choose... be sure to omit mold antigen-containing foods... like bread, cheese, alcohol... ketchup, vinegar, mayonnaise... mustard, coffee, or chocolate." "Molds are very hard on the immune system... whether you're E.I. or not." "And throughout your unloading process... be sure to have adjusted your living conditions accordingly." "Safe bodies need safe environments in which to live... and there are healthy alternatives that exist... for just about every toxic product... gas, or ventilation system out there." "But it's up to you to find them." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "We're spraying right now." "Oh, my God!" "Carol, you're doing fine." "Just hold in there." "Move your head." "Concentrate." "Keep your head to the side, Carol." "Keep with us, Carol." "Carol, keep your head to the side." "No unusual foods." "No medication." " Emotional strain?" " No." "Well, can you think of anything else that might be causing it?" "So what you're saying, Carol, is that this is based... solely on the pesticide and nothing else." "I have a chemical impairment that makes..." "I realize that, Carol, but it's just not turning up on the tests." " Please don't do that!" " Nurse, don't spray that here." "Thanks." "Look, Carol, from a medical standpoint... there's no way to prove this thing is an immune system breakdown... much less one based on environmental factors." "Now, if your psychiatrists can't provide..." "Think, honey." "I mean... what gave you the bloody lip?" " What would cause you to actually bleed?" " I don't know." "The chemicals." "They visit them, pray with them, get them..." "New York... be the same again." "Things just started tumbling down on top of me." "...is here to ensure your team ring fits..." "No question, this is gonna be a big sales..." "It is a real problem, and I think more people are becoming aware... because more and more people are becoming sick from chemicals." "Nestled in the foothills of Albuquerque... the Wrenwood Center describes itself as a nonprofit communal settlement... dedicated to the healing individual." "Offering the services of a combined health retreat and community center..." " Wrenwood consists of 200 residents..." " Greg." " visitors, and staff, many of whom suffer..." " Greg!" " from chemical sensitivity..." " Listen." "This thing's on." "...including its founder, author Peter Dunning." "Environmental illness is just one of a cluster of new immune disorders... such as Epstein-Barr syndrome, chronic fatigue syndrome... and, of course, AIDS... all of which continue to elude conventional medicine." "At Wrenwood, we offer an alternative." "I like to think of us as a safe haven for troubled times." "We're the most extensive... cooperative treatment residency of our kind." "But what I think makes us really unique..." " I think I..." " ...is our emphasis on the individual." "What?" "I heard about this place from somewhere." "...warning us of a disease-ridden future?" "If so, the Wrenwood Center is certainly ahead of its time." "People come for all different reasons." "I guess the thing we all have in common is, like, why." "You know?" "Why did we all get sick to begin with?" "What's it called?" "Wrenwood." "It's right in here." "Stop!" "Stop!" "Not allowed!" "Go back!" " Not allowed!" " What's she going on about?" " Stop!" " Wait." "You better stop." "Stop!" "Go back!" "You're contaminating this entire area!" "How much do I owe you?" "I see you." "Excuse me." " Excuse me." "Are you Carol?" " Yes." "Hi." "I'm Susan." "I work with Claire." " We've spoken on the phone." " Hi." "We're so glad you made it." "I heard Nell making a ruckus." "I thought it might've been your car." " I hope she wasn't too..." " Oh, no." "She's been having a rough time lately." "Her husband's very sick... and she's just..." " well..." " That's okay." "Well, let me help you with your things." "I'll take this one." " Thanks." " Sure." "This is a chemical-free zone." "We have reading boxes, safe TV... and there's a 911 phone... in case of any kind of medical emergency." "Right." "We're sorry your husband wouldn't be able to join you." "I know." "He's just in the middle of all this business." "They should be here soon, though, he and our son." " I should call them, actually." " Sure, sure." " There's a phone inside at the center." " Great." "We acquired the center in 1978... and we've been battling to keep it ever since." "But basically, this is where... all group convening takes place." "We have all of our workshops... and, our evening talks... that sort of thing, here." "The dining room is right across the way..." " on the other side of the street." " Oh, hi!" " You must be Carol." " Carol, this is Claire, our director." "Hi." "Welcome to Wrenwood." "How was your trip?" "Whoops." "Well, I guess you're just wiped out." "There's nothing more debilitating than travel." "Claire was hypersensitive when she first came to Wrenwood." "Now I'm just semi-hypersensitive, like the rest of the world." " I'm a little... from the flight." " I know." "We'll just quick get you checked in and then take you to your cabin... and you can plop or whatever till dinner." "But I know there are quite a few people... who are anxious to meet you." "Thank you." "If you want to leave your bags here and use the pay phones... they are just beyond the chapel." " The little auditorium to the right." "Okay?" " Okay." "Thank you." " Hello?" " Hi." "It's me." " Hi." "Are you there?" " Yeah, I'm here." "Great!" " Is it nice?" " Yeah." "Great." "That's great, honey." "Yeah." "You know, we'll see." "Did you forget anything?" "No, I just thought I'd call, tell you I was here and everything." "I'm glad you caught me." "We were about to go grab a bite." "Oh, you go ahead." " I'm sorry." "I just..." " No, no, I'm glad." "I'm glad it's nice there." "That's great." "Look, you just relax... and take care of yourself, get well quick... and we'll come see you in a couple of weeks." "Soon as I reach deadline on this." "Okay, babe?" "Okay." " Love you." " I love you too, hon." "Say hi to Ror." "I will." "And, we'll talk again real soon." " Okay?" " Okay." " Bye-bye, sweetie." " Bye." " Night." " Night." "I want to welcome all newcomers... all short- and long-term visitors... and extend our warmest support for the acceleration... of your healing process." "So that you can relax... and receive the full benefit of your stay here... we ask that you observe community wishes in the following ways:" "Silent meals are observed at breakfast and lunch... with a side of the room for men and a side for women." "In addition, we ask you to refrain from smoking... drinking, and use of recreational drugs while on the premises... and we ask that you respect our practice of moderation in dress... and restraint in sexual interaction." "Instead, we ask that you try... to focus these feelings inward... toward your personal growth and self-realization." "End of speech." "Welcome, everybody... especially our long-termers, Carol and Ward." "And now, with no further ado..." "I give you our own Peter Dunning." "Yay, Peter!" " Oh, you like this shirt?" " Are you familiar with his books?" " No, I don't think so." " They're so wonderful." "I'll lend you some." "Peter is a chemically sensitive person with AIDS... so his perspective is incredibly vast." " My deepest welcome to Carol and Wade." " Ward." "W-Ward." "Welcome to Wrenwood." "All right." "If you'd all... close your eyes... and pass your valuables to the front." "No, no." "Come on." "Not really." "Okay." "So we're feeling good?" "We're feeling warmth." "We can look into each other's eyes... and actually see rejuvenation... and personal transformation happening." "Why?" "Because we've left the judgmental behind." "And with it... the shaming condition that kept us locked up in all the pain." "But what I want to share with you tonight... what I want to give you tonight... is an image to reflect on... an image of a world outside... as positive... and as free... as the world we've created here." "Because when you look out on the world... from a place of love... and a place of forgiveness... what you are seeing outside... is a reflection of what you feel within." "Does that make sense?" "So... what do I see outside me?" "I see the growth of environmentalism." "Right?" "And holistic study." "I see a decline in drugs and promiscuity." "I see sensitivity training in the workplace!" " Yeah!" " And the men's movement." "And multiculturalism." "I see all these positive things outside in the world... because what I am seeing is a global transformation... identical to the transformation..." "I revel at within." "And with that..." "We are one with the power that created us." "We are safe... and all is well in our world." "Kind friends all gathered 'round" "There's something I would say" "That what brings us together here" "Has blessed us all today" "Love has made a circle" "That holds us all inside" "Where strangers are as family" "And loneliness can't hide" "So give yourself to love" "If love is what you're after" "Open up your hearts to" "The tears and laughter, and" "Give yourself to love" "Give yourself to love" "Carol?" "I'm sorry." " Are you having a reaction?" " No." "No." "I'm fine." "Oh, come on." "That's okay." "Just breathe." "That's right." "Good." "That's good." "You're okay." "Tsk." "Oh, Carol." "You know something?" "All these feelings you're having are just fine." "They're so natural." "I mean, you've just done something so big... you know, something... many people never do in their lifetimes." "You've taken this big step on your own behalf." "You've..." "left behind everything that's known and secure... and all the people you love and trust... and you've come to this strange new place... with strange new people." "It's completely understandable... that you might feel lonely... or fearful or even angry." "You know... when I first came here, I couldn't even walk." "I'd been living six miles from this chemical factory... this was in Michigan... that was leaking, like, 15 gallons... of chemical by-products every day." "When I got here, all I could do was just sit in my safe room... and every day... every hour of every day..." "I would look at myself in the mirror... and I would say to myself..." ""Claire..." "I love you." "I really love you."" "At the end of the month, I could leave my room... and shortly thereafter, I was walking." "For me... this was a gift, this whole thing was a gift... because everything got taken away from me." "I..." "I mean... everything in the material world." "And what was left... was me." "Thank you, Claire." "Are you better?" "You'll do fine." " Sweet dreams." " Good night." "Good night." "Forever and ever..." "You're right where I found..." "Sweet love's showin' us..." "Never seen such a beautiful..." "Dear Greg and Rory... how are you guys?" "I hope everything is going good." "I really miss you." "I'm feeling a little better, so I decided to stay the full amount." "At first it was hard to get used to... but now I really think it's starting to help." "I've been so much more relaxed and eating healthfully... and the desert landscape is really beautiful here." "I can't wait till the 25th to show you around... and introduce you to everyone." "Give my love to Sally and your mother and Linda... and be sure and help your dad, Ror." "Love and kisses, Carol." "Is that Lester you're watching?" "Sorry." "I didn't mean to startle you." "Oh, it's fine." "I was just watching him go by." "Why does he..." "Oh, poor Lester." "He's just... very, very afraid... afraid to eat, afraid to breathe." "But let's talk about you." "I heard you weren't feeling so hot." "It was just a little... shortness of breath and some dizziness." "I noticed the highway near here... and I wondered if maybe my cabin room... was a little downwind or something." "I thought maybe if I tried another cabin..." "Claire would be the best person to speak to about that." " Claire is?" " She's really the one." "Okay." "I remember Claire sharing with me a little while back some concern over you." "That you'd been feeling some remorse... maybe some apprehension." " I was just..." " All I'm saying... is that these feelings you're having, Carol, are extremely common... especially in relation to new environments." "Especially for someone who's environmentally ill, okay?" "And what we're about is trying to help absorb... as many of these tensions as we can... so you're free to do the kind of healing... that you need to be doing." " Does that make any sense?" " Yes." "'Cause when that's accomplished, I'm doing my job." "No, I know." "I'm just still learning... you know, the words." "Oh." "Well... the words are... just the way to get to what's true." " Right?" " Right." " See the coyote?" " Where?" "Straight." " Is that all right?" " Sure." "I need a partner." "Great." "Guess we'll have to figure out what to cook." " Right." " Yeah." "All right, well..." "I'll think about... what to cook." "Me too." "Bye." "She had all these little different, you know... candies and stuff she'd keep in there." "She used to let me open the clasp and look inside the purse... then close the clasp." "I'll never forget that purse." "Okay." "Now, speaker number two... describe to your friend a room... you remember having as a child." "God, this is..." "I guess this one I had was... had... yellow wallpaper... and..." "What's going on over there?" " Oh, my God." " Who's that?" " Who's the guy?" " I don't know." " I think it's Nell's husband." " That looks like Nell's husband." "Today... is another... precious day on earth... so let's throw away... every negative... destructive thought we might have... and look around ourselves with love." "I tried to teach him this... to give up the rage... to strive for a quiet mind." "My concern is, it sounds like a spiraling down." "If you're feeling more sensitive to the fumes that way... you shouldn't really be outside." "The problem is, there just aren't any center accommodations available now... except for cabins and dormitories." "Oh, I'm fine, really." "Oh, except for Harry's." "Harry's?" "Mr. Keene, Nell's husband, built a safe house." "You can see it." "It's right next to recycling... over there, the little white igloo." " He lived in that?" " Oh, yeah." "After his stroke, he needed a more controllable space... so she stayed in the cabin, and he lived in the safe house." "And he actually improved." "It's ventilated and porcelain-lined... and he was perfectly safe as long as no one set foot inside." "I don't know what she's planning to do with it." "Ladies and gentlemen, I have a confession I'd like to make." "I've stopped reading the papers." "I've stopped watching the news on TV." "I've heard the media gloom and doom... and I've seen their fatalistic, negative attitude... and I finally realized, once and for all, I don't need it." "And so I transform that negative stimulus... into something that will not do harm to me." "Because if I really believe that life is... that devastating, that destructive..." "I'm afraid that my immune system will believe it too... and I can't afford to take that risk." "Neither can you." "We are one..." "With the power that created us." " We are safe..." " We are safe... and all is well in our world." "So my brother called, and Darlene had another girl." "Oh." "I'll call them tonight." "Oh, and Linda called and said to hurry up... and clear or clean or whatever it is..." " "Clear." - ...and come on home." "That's sweet." "So you really feel like it's... still the right choice?" "I mean..." "Yeah, I..." "I do." "I mean... right before the fumes, I was good." "My load was up." "I was eating well, so..." "What did they say about the fumes?" "Just that I'd probably move to another, different cabin somewhere... where I won't feel them." "Right." "Okay." "I just think it's true what they say... that it's up to the individual, and that it takes time." "Right." " Whose house is that?" " That's Peter's." " It's gorgeous, isn't it?" " Yeah." " Feel like moving?" " No." "She's..." "Her husband just passed away." "Come on, Rory." "Now!" "Steve... why did you become sick?" "Well, I became sick... because I just O.D.'d on all the drugs I was doing." "Why did you become addicted?" "Well, I guess I became addicted... to, like, blot out the pain... of not liking myself." "Of hating myself, really." "Self-hatred." "Yep." "Okay." "Thanks, Steve." " Hello, Joyce." " Hi." " How are you?" " I'm okay." "Joyce, what do you think was behind your illness?" "Why did you become sick?" "I believe that I made myself sick... after my son got sick... because I was just..." "Well, you get so eaten up with guilt, really." "You know, because I felt that I had done it to him." "I was the one who put him in that school." "I put him in that environment." "You were punishing yourself." "Yeah." "Thanks." "Marilyn?" "I was... deeply wounded as a child... and had completely blocked it out for years... and then, suddenly became very ill." "Why, do you think?" "Maybe to let myself know something was wrong." "Okay." "And... the person who hurt you the most..." "Was me." "For?" "Not forgiving him." "Okay." "Thank you, Marilyn." "Carol... would you like to respond?" "Okay, okay." "We don't want to force anyone." "Nell?" "What?" "Would you like to take part?" "What is the question?" "The question is... why did you become sick?" "First, I got sick and my husband thought I was crazy... and then he got sick the same way." "What was happening in your life around the time that you..." "How were you feeling when you first got sick?" "I just wanted to get a gun... and blow off the heads of everyone who got me like this." "Nobody out there made you sick." "You know that." "The only person who can make you get sick is you, right?" "Whatever the sickness, if our immune system is damaged... it's because we have allowed it to be... through exactly the kind of anger you're showing us now." "Does that make sense?" "Does anybody have a problem with that?" "Which is why you need to remember your affirmations... and figure out how to love Nell a lot more." "And even Nell's disease." "And put that gun of yours away." "Sometimes..." "Sometimes all I see is the hatred and frailty... people's cruelty to one another... cruelty to themselves... and I realize... how lucky I am." "How blessed." " Is that everything?" " I think so." "Rory, be careful with that." "It's real heavy." "I have it!" "Rory, don't talk to your mother in that tone." "Fine." " What time's your flight?" " 7:20." "Ror, if you really want to be helpful... make sure our stuff's in the car and we're ready to go." " Want me to get that?" " I got it." "You sure?" " Whoa." "Watch it." " Whoops." "You okay?" "You all right?" "I think it might be your cologne." "Honey, I'm not wearing any cologne." "Maybe in the shirt." "I don't know." "Well, I guess we better get moving if we're gonna catch the plane." "You gonna be okay?" "I'm fine." "It's just for a short time." " I know." " I'll be fine." "Okay." " Can I hug you?" " Of course." "So this other guy didn't know anything was wrong with him either... except that whenever he would go into a mall... he would get totally depressed... you know, start crying really hard, and contemplating suicide." "And then he would step outside, and he would be fine." "You know, totally normal." "This would happen every single time." " God." " Yeah." " You know what they called him?" " What?" ""Dr. Jekyll and Mr. For-mall-dehyde."" "Oh, God." " I'm so gullible." " No, I'm serious." "This really happened." "I always forget if it's pasta, cheese, sauce... cheese, pasta... or pasta, sauce, cheese... pasta, cheese, sauce." "I think it's pasta... pasta, pasta, pasta, cheese..." " Stop it!" "Stop it!" " ...pasta, sauce." "Suddenly all I see... all over my hands and my legs are... black, horrible sores all over me, oozing." "And at first I'm horrified... and I'm full of self-pity and anger." "I'm enraged until I realize..." "Suddenly I look down again, and I realize... that they aren't sores at all... but these... black pansies... these sort of wilted black pansies I used to pick when I was a child." "So in my dream, I remember that." "And as I pick up... each wilted flower... they would just instantly... bloom into beautiful bouquets." "Every single one." " Ending in rejoice." " That's remarkably clear." "It's extraordinary." "Incredible lasagna, by the way, guys." " Yeah." " Great dinner, both of you." "And you know, it almost tasted like the real thing." "To Carol and Chris." " To Carol and Chris." " To Carol and Chris." "Sweet love's showin' us a heavenly light" "Never seen such a beautiful sight" "Sweet love glowing on us every night" "I know forever we'll be doing it" "Sweet love's showin' us a heavenly light" "I never seen such a beautiful sight" "Sweet love glowing on us every night" "I know forever we'll be doing it right" "Whenever I call you friend" "I believe I've come to understand" "Everywhere we are you and I were meant to be" "Forever and ever" "I think about the times to come" "Knowing I will be the lucky one" "And ever our love will last" "I always want to call you friend" "Sweet love's showin' us a heavenly light" "Never seen such a beautiful sight" "Sorry." "Sorry." "Sorry." "I've got a little announcement to make." "Since it's almost tomorrow... and tomorrow happens to be..." "Carol's birthday... we have a little surprise for her." "For she's a jolly good fellow" "And so say all of us" "Speech!" " Speech!" " Happy birthday, Carol." " Speech!" " No, I..." " Happy birthday, sweetie." " I..." " Say something." " I can't." "I've never made a speech before." " Please." " Oh, God." "I just want to thank Chris for doing this... and everybody here so much." "It just..." "You pulled me through a really hard period." "Anyway, I couldn't have done it without you." "I don't know what I'm saying." "Just that I really hated myself before I came here... and, so..." "I'm trying to see myself hopefully, more as I am, more... more positive... like seeing the pluses." "Like, I think it's slowly opening up now." "People's minds, like... educating and, and..." "AIDS and... and other types of diseases... 'cause... 'cause..." "And it is a disease, 'cause it's out there... and we just have to be more aware of it... make people aware of it and, even ourselves... like, going... reading labels and going into buildings..." "To Carol." "To Carol!" "Thank you, Chris... for everything." " Are you sure you're all right, Carol?" " I'm fine, really." "Okay." "Happy birthday" "Thanks." " See you tomorrow." " For sure." " Good night." " Night." "I love..." "I love you." "I really love you." "I love you."