"You know perfectly well why I smell the way I smell." "Like wheat, and honey... and sunlight." "(FANGS CLICK)" "Eric, I am not in the mood." "What are you?" "Ahhh!" "* When you came in the air went out" "* And every shadow filled up with doubt" "* I don't know who you think you are, but before the night is through" "* I want to do bad things with you" "* I'm the kind to sit up in his room" "* Heartsick and eyes filled up with blue" "* I don't know what you've done to me, but I know this much is true" "* I want to do bad things with you" "* I want to do real bad things with you *" "(GASPS)" "(GRUNTS)" "I am not your fuckin' dinner!" "What'd you do that for?" "You broke my nose." "Oh, please." "It'll heal in five minutes." "You're a vampire." "I know I'm a vampire, Snookie!" "It's Sookie." "I know what I am!" "I just don't know who I am." "Okay." "What's the last thing you remember?" "I don't know." "I don't know." "The sea, maybe." "Home." "(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)" "Eric, focus." "(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)" "English." "Her eyes." "Her cold, empty eyes." "They were reaching into me." "Emptying me." "Okay." "And it was her," "(SHRIEKS) but it wasn't her." "She was in a, in a circle," "chanting." "And, uh... (SHRIEKS)" "Everything I was... was taken from me." "Okay." "I'll help you deal with this." "But there are some ground rules that do not get broken, or you are on your own." "You do not touch me, and you most certainly do not bite me." "Oh, forget it." "It's fine." "Eric." "I swear it." "Well, let's go then." "I am grateful for this." "Whatever." "JESUS:" "You still feeling light-headed?" "Not so much." "Well, all your vitals are fine." "MARNIE:" "Ah." "Just take it easy for a day or two." "Oh my God." "What was it like bein' bitten?" "It hurt." "I hate that motherfucker!" "(MARNIE GROANS)" "He tortured Lafayette for three days." "Torture torture?" "Yeah." "Son of a bitch." "So thanks for bringing me tonight." "It's been a while since I got attacked by a vampire, and guess what?" "It still sucks." "And it still freaks my shit out." "Would you climb down off that cross for two seconds?" "You don't think it freaked my shit out?" "Two hours, Lafayette." "Two hours I'm back in town, and some fuckin' fanger is on my neck!" "It's not just any fanger!" "This is Eric fuckin' Northman, who's fuckin' ancient, and stupid powerful, and can kill all of us!" "And now he probably will." "Well, somebody ought to call the police." "Oh, and you think the hillbilly police around here are gonna do anything?" "You think they can do anything?" "Well, we can't just do nothin' and let him get away with this!" "Eric Northman is a thousand years old." "Ain't no police can touch him." "He tried to kill Marnie." "Well, thank God he didn't." "The best thing we can do is forget this ever happened." "MARNIE:" "But it did happen!" "He attacked us." "Unprovoked." "He came in here uninvited, and he demanded that we stop gathering, stop... practicing' our religion." "Last time I checked, there was still freedom of religion in America." "Yeah, what does he think this is, Nazi Germany?" "He did look kinda Aryan." "How dare he?" "He has no right." "He has no right!" "He's a vampire." "They don't care about rights, religion, the law or anybody else." "They just want our blood." "Marnie, what did you do to make him leave?" "And how did you do it?" "I have no idea." "TIMBO:" "How come Mister Jason's tied up in there?" "BECKY:" "He's gonna help us make some new were-panthers. (GRUNTS)" "TIMBO:" "How?" "LUTHER:" "What do you mean?" "The usual way." "TIMBO:" "But he ain't..." "BECKY:" "But he's turnin'!" "TIMBO:" "Uh, I thought we was only born this way." "LUTHER:" "Not the first panthers." "Not Ghost Mama and Ghost Daddy." "Way back, a long time ago, when Ghost Daddy and Mama was still alive, panthers was kings of the nature world." "The man world worshiped 'em as God." "'Cause they was." "(GROWLS)" "Then the sky people came, and they seduced man, and turned him against nature." "All except one man and one woman, which was..." "Ghost Mama and Ghost Daddy." "Bless your sweet little heart." "And they come into the woods under a full moon." "And they said," ""Mighty Panther, we don't want to live in the man world." ""We want to live with you in our skins, not a dream."" "So what'd the Panther do?" "He ate Ghost Mama and Ghost Daddy." "And when they was in his belly, they soaked up his magic, and then he puked them up, and the next full moon, they turned." "That was the beginning of our kind." "How come there ain't more of us?" "'Cause the man world's been fightin' a war with nature, and nature's pissed at all of us for lettin' it happen." "How many times I gotta tell you that, boy?" "Uh, it just seems to me like nature'd be a whole lot smarter if she tried kicking' man's ass instead of ours." "Nature ain't need to be smart." "Nature is nature!" "Nature's bigger than us, Timbo." "Ain't for us to figure out her ways." "Well, guess that leaves us all on the short end of the stick then, don't it?" "You reckon it's in him yet?" "Hell, yeah." "Fever on him like that means it's workin'." "Next full moon, he'll be sayin' goodbye to what little piece of man's left in him." "How you feelin', baby?" "Felton?" "Felton?" "If you're gonna kill me, be a fuckin' man and just do it." "Don't string it out." "You swore to me you weren't gonna kill him." "I ain't gonna kill him, baby." "Least not till we got out of him what we want." "Hey!" "What'd he mean by that?" "Shh." "I swear I ain't gonna let him kill you." "I, I just want to thank you." "For what?" "For all you done, and all you're gonna do." "What exactly am I gonna do?" "You are so generous." "You got such a big heart." "Once you turn, we get to be together forever." "What's that?" "JASON:" "Turn?" "Ain't he pretty?" "Sure is." "I think we got us one." "(PANTING)" "(CHUCKLES)" "Get ready to turn the light on." "Turn the light on, turn the light on!" "(WOMAN SCREAMING) Oh!" "Oh!" "(GROWLS)" "(CAMERAMAN CHUCKLING)" "Who's next?" "Who?" "Ahh!" "Quit it!" "He attacked me!" "Ahh!" "You either hand over that camera, or you're all dead!" "CAMERAMAN:" "Uh-uh, no way!" "We got silver spray and wooden bullets." "(WOMAN WHIMPERING)" "He would have killed me!" "See, America?" "Share this video on your Facebook page, and visit w-w-w, dot-vamps-hyphen-kill-dot-com, for more undercover videos and even scarier stuff." "Wake up, America!" "Before we're all dead!" "Seriously!" "It was clearly entrapment." "Clearly." "Unfortunately for you, that is irrelevant." "It is expressly forbidden by the Authority to be filmed feeding on a human." "You broke the law, and now, you have to pay the price." "Which is?" "The true death." "(LAUGHING) That's a little extreme." "It's the only way I can see to guarantee that you won't do this again." "So I'm bein' punished now for bein' what I am?" "No." "(INTERCOM BEEPING)" "You're being punished for being stupid." "He's all yours, Bucky." "Yes, send her through." "You want to send us back into the coffin." "Russell Edgington already did that." "I demand a trial." "I want to take this case to the Authority!" "I am the Authority, you idiot!" "PRISONER:" "It's not fair!" "I was just doin' what we do!" "My liege." "Jessica." "What a pleasant surprise!" "What brings you out here tonight?" "I was wondering if you had any Advil." "I was supposed to get some for Hoyt, but now all the stores are closed, so I thought maybe someone on your human staff..." "I'm sure we can rustle somethin' up for ya." "But you didn't visit me tonight for the first time in months to ask me for Advil." "So why don't you tell me what's really goin' on." "Promise you won't judge?" "Believe me, it would be a welcome relief not to have to judge." "I just fed on a guy, who's not Hoyt." "Please tell me that you weren't somewhere that you might have been photographed or videotaped." "I was at Fangtasia." "You know that they check cameras and phones at the door now." "Because if someone catches you on film feeding, and it gets out, even I cannot protect you!" "Bill, I am not stupid!" "I'm just unfaithful." "And really guilty." "Was the victim willing?" "Very." "Okay." "You have to discuss this with Hoyt." "Oh, God." "You need to explain to him why you did it." "He'll be so hurt." "Well, imagine how hurt he'd feel if he ever found out from someone else." "I hate my life" "Jess, vamp up." "If you love him, you tell the truth." "Period." "(PRISONER SCREAMING)" "(GUN SHOT)" "I'm hoping I might be able to find a pair of Jason's old work boots." "They'll probably be too small for you, but..." "It's okay, you can come in." "It's your..." "As it's your first time in my house, obviously, you need an invitation." "Eric, won't you please come in?" "Don't step on the rug!" "Oh." "Sorry." "Yeah." "Fuck, yeah!" "Suck it." "Oh." "Bite that neck!" "Harder!" "Bite it!" "Dial it back a notch, Jethro." "You're startin' to piss me off." "(PHONE RINGING) Ugh." "Good evening, Fangtasia, northern Louisiana's most fangtastic club." "What do you want?" "SOOKIE:" "Hey, Pam." "It's Sookie." "I thought you should know that Eric is here." "So, it's his house." "He doesn't seem to remember that." "Or much else." "Pam?" "Hello?" "Aw, man." "Sorry, the water got cold." "Doesn't bother me." "(GASPS)" "(CHUCKLES)" "It, it tickles." "You are really beautiful." "Um, thanks?" "Who the fuck's she?" "Fuck!" "Sorry." "Sorry, that was rude." "I'm sorry." "What do you know about what happened to you?" "You have to hide him." "No way!" "He's in danger!" "And I'm sure you'll be able to protect him much better than I could." "Sookie, I'll be the first place they'll look." "They who?" "The witches who did this." "Witches?" "Oh, great." "Now I have to deal with witches?" "No!" "Not my problem!" "Actually, you're living in his house, so it is your problem." "Uh, it's my house?" "Thanks a lot, Pam." "I'll just go to Bill." "Tell Bill and I will rip you to pieces." "Ahhh!" "Be nice to her." "Sookie, I believe Bill set Eric up, and sent him into that coven in Shreveport knowing it was a trap." "It wouldn't be the first time he tried to get rid of Eric." "Yeah, because Eric tasted me." "I did?" "Yeah." "Against my will, so, technically, you fang-raped me." "Oh." "Sorry." "Promise me you won't go to Bill." "I'm sure he would use this as an excuse to get the AVL to sign off on assassinating Eric." "PAM:" "I know he wants to." "Eric has to stay here with you, and no one can know." "Okay." "But you are gonna have to pay me for babysitting' him." "If y'all are gonna keep messin' with my life," "I ought to at least get something out it, God damn it." "(MAN ON TV) Nan Flanagan can spin all she wants, but everybody saw Russell Edgington murder a man on TV, and Reverend Steve Newlin has been missing for over six months." "Look, if we want to survive, we have to fight back!" "We must destroy them!" "How many anti-vampire patriots have to disappear before..." "Where the hell you been?" "(TURNS OFF TV)" "What the..." "Do you have any idea how worried I was about you?" "I mean, do you know there's people out there that just want to kill vampires these days?" "I mean, hello!" "My, my own mother took a shot at you." "Hoyt, we need to talk." "I found this fuckin' doll on the bed again." "I thought you said you got rid of it." "I did." "I threw it in the lake." "So we've thrown it away, and then I took it to the parish dump, and you threw it in the lake, and it's back?" "You playing a trick on me?" "Of course not." "Well, somebody's fuckin' with us." "Hoyt, I was with another guy tonight." "What?" "I went back to Fangtasia, and I fed on a guy I met there last night." "Did you fuck him?" "What?" "No." "No!" "You just bit him and drank his blood?" "'Cause, you know, with us that usually means sex after." "No." "I, I only fed on him, I, I swear to God." "Oh, you only fed on him?" "So when I kiss you, I'll only be tastin' his blood?" "I'm so sorry." "I am." "But I was hungry for somethin' different." "Wow." "Oh, come on." "You at least look at other women." "No, I don't!" "Because other women don't exist for me!" "Hoyt." "Hoyt, look at me." "Please." "Don't you da." "I am so sorry for what I did, and I'm even more sorry for what I'm doing now, but Hoyt, you are too good a person and too important to me for me to hurt you like this." "So, honey, it never happened." "Okay." "I love you so much." "I'll never do it again." "Let's just be happy together." "Okay?" "Well, I am happy, Jess." "How could I not be happy being with you?" "I'm the luckiest man in the world." "It's okay." "You can come down." "Come on." "Wow." "This really is my house." "Yeah, but not for long." "And you live here?" "In my house?" "Yes." "Are you mine?" "No." "Do you belong to another vampire?" "No." "Would you like to be mine?" "Um, not really, but, thank you for askin'." "Eric, let me go." "I just want to thank you for uh, for everything." "That, that's all." "You're welcome." "Please let me go now." "What are you?" "I am really sick of being asked that question is what I am." "Let me go." "Of course." "Thanks." "(GASPS)" "Sorry." "(ZIPS FLY)" "I still don't get it." "Why does he even care about our circle?" "He's a fucking bully." "I know one more fuckin' thing." "He ain't gonna forget about this, which is why we need to be proactive." "Do not even tell me you're suggesting we..." "Go to him." "Shit, go to Fangtasia." "I thought you said we should just try to forget about it." "I wish it was that easy, but this shit ain't goin' away." "Baby, what exactly do you expect to, to accomplish by visiting Eric?" "I expect to throw my black ass at his mercy and beg his forgiveness." "Let him know it was Marnie and not us, and hopefully keep us all from gettin' killed." "Are you fucking kidding' me?" "It's suicide." "No." "We ain't lettin' you do that." "Bitch, you need to do yourself a solid and get the fuck on up out this fucked-up place." "Go back to your hot girlfriend, and leave all the pain this shithole has dumped on you behind." "Uh, yeah." "I'm gonna skip town and leave you when you're in big trouble with a vampire who still gives you nightmares." "'Cause that's kind of person I am." "Fuck you." "(LAUGHING) Wow." "I like her." "She doesn't put up with your bullshit." "I could learn a thing or two from her." "Boyfriend, you don't need to learn nothin' from nobody." "You perfect just the way you is." "(JESUS LAUGHING) Oh, my God." "Aw." "(LAUGHING)" "Nice try." "Well, shit." "I got to get up in a few hours and go to work." "I'm goin' to beddy-bed." "Y'all bitches clean. 'Night." "Promise me you won't let him go to Fangtasia." "Of course not." "'Cause sometimes he gets a bug up his bonnet." "Don't worry." "I can convince him not to do this in a way that'll make him think it was his idea." "LAFAYETTE:" "I heard that." "(JESUS CHUCKLING)" "Whoops." "LAFAYETTE:" "What else you done that you made me think was my idea?" "JESUS:" "Moving into your place, baby." "(CELL PHONE RINGING)" "Oh..." "Oh, fuck." "(GRUNTS)" "Fuck!" "Ow!" "Fuck!" "(PHONE RINGING)" "(VOICE MAIL) You've reached Officer JasonStackhouse." "If thisisanemergency, dial 911 and ask for me." "Or leave a message here." "Peace." "(BEEPS)" "Stackhouse, where the hell are you?" "I ain't been able to get a hold of you for almost 48 hours." "You can't just disappear whenever you feel like it." "You're a goddamn public servant." "Sweet Jesus." "I used once today, and I already feel like doin' it again." "I need your help, Jason." "Please call me the minute you get this." "God grant me... the serenity to..." "Fuck it." "Mmm." "Mmm." "Mmm!" "Mornin', Sheriff Bellefleur!" "Oh, hey." "What brings you out here this early in the day?" "I'll ask the questions here." "Last time I checked, I was the sheriff, not you." "Okay." "How many times have I told you not to let trash accumulate outside like that?" "It's a fuckin' fire hazard!" "Andy, that ain't trash, it's supplies." "I'm just in the process of takin' it all inside." "Well, look how overgrown all these trees are!" "Don't you see you're sittin' on a goddamn three-alarm disaster here?" "Uh, all due respect, Andy, I gotta keep everything a hundred percent in line with the parish fire codes." "I can barely keep up with my insurance premiums as it is." "You callin' me a liar?" "No, hey, no, I'm merely saying' I think you might be mistaken about..." "You think just 'cause I know you can turn into flies and dogs, and dog shit for all I know, you think" "Whoa, hey." "that gives you the right to flagrantly buck my authority?" "Andy." "Listen to yourself, Andy." "You been drinkin'?" "You fuckin'..." "Oh!" "Andy." "Andy, what are you doin'?" "I am the fuckin' law, Merlotte." "And don't you forget it!" "I promise you I will not forget this." "You get a tree service out here ASAP." "(TURNS ON SIREN)" "Or I'm gonna write your ass up!" "You piece o' shit!" "(TIRES SQUEALING)" "Jesus Christ." "Goddamn." "You're a sight for sore eyes." "Whoo!" "It's good to see you, too." "(ALCIDE LAUGHING)" "Come on in." "Nice house." "Thanks." "Grab a seat." "(CHUCKLES)" "It's so good to see you." "We all thought you were..." "Dead." "I know." "When did you move to Shreveport?" "About eight months ago." "Got a big contract buildin' this subdivision." "This economy, you go where the work is, and I was ready to get out of Mississippi after everything..." "You know." "Uh-huh." "Okay, uh, you said on the phone you had a favor to ask of me." "I want you to take care of Eric Northman." "Take care of him?" "You want me to kill him?" "Oh my God." "No, uh," "I want you to take care of him." "He's sick, and he needs a place to stay." "Well, hide out, actually." "DEBBIE:" "Hey there, Sookie." "Uh, Sookie, just, just hear her out." "Um," "(CLEARS THROAT)" "I know that I owe you a big apology." "And I would have made amends a long time ago if I didn't think that you were dead." "Debbie's been clean and sober for almost a year." "You tried to kill me." "Yep." "I did." "I was seriously fucked up at the time, pardon my French." "But that ain't no excuse." "Now I got the program, and I got Jesus on my side, and Alcide, and I'm hoping you'll give me a chance to win back your trust." "I know it's gonna take some time, but I'm willing to put that time in if you are." "Uh, sure." "(LAUGHING) Thank you, Sookie." "(SNIFFLES)" "You're a big person." "(CLEARS THROAT)" "You want a Vienna sausage?" "No, thanks." "Squash pickle?" "Actually, Crawfish dip?" "I think I'd better get back to Bon Temps." "I'm working the lunch shift, so..." "Don't worry, I'll, I'll see myself out." "Um, just give her time." "ALCIDE:" "Sookie!" "I guess I should have told you me and Debbie was back together when you called this mornin'." "But honestly, I was afraid you wouldn't come." "Alcide, I'm happy for you." "Debbie looks really good, really healthy." "I hope she can keep with it." "Lord knows, stranger things have happened." "So, so Eric needs a place to stay?" "Yeah." "One he won't have to share with a recovering V addict." "I could maybe put him in one of these homes we haven't sold yet." "He helped swing the whole job my way after I did a couple favors for him last year." "Guess it's the least I could do." "Look, this was a half-baked idea on my part." "I'm just a little nervous about having him in my house." "He's staying at your house?" "Alcide, this is not your problem." "It was good to see you." "(CAR DOOR CLOSES)" "(ENGINE STARTS)" "(CAR PULLING AWAY)" "(TV SALESWOMAN 1) Just look at those big brown eyes and that bright orange hair and that little expression that says, "I am up to no good."" "(SALESWOMAN 2) Mmm-hmm." "(LAUGHS) Well, it is Halloween." "Can you read that, Tommy?" "(SALESWOMAN 2) And what more perfect Halloween gift?" "TOMMY:" "Marie uh, Osmond uh, Adora?" "Mmm, good." "Belly?" "(LAUGHING) Belle." "There's an E on the..." "Mmm, it's French." "I don't know." "Why is it..." "Just ignore that." "Freida...frigate..." "Fright." "Fright." "Doll." "Marie Osmond, Adora Belle Freida Fright Doll." "Oh, very good, Tommy." "All that hard work you've been doin's payin' off!" "I think sweet little Freida would uh, be a welcome addition to our collection." "And just in time for Halloween next week." "(KNOCKING)" "Oh." "Uh, could you get that Tommy, honey?" "There's only three of 'em left, and I don't want to miss out." "Yeah." "Hi." "Yes." "I'm callin' to order the Marie Osmond Adora Belle Freida Fright Doll." "Yeah?" "Good mornin'." "I'm looking for Maxine Fortenberry." "Why?" "Well, I'd like to talk to her about an excitin' opportunity to sell her natural gas lease rights for what could prove to be a substantial amount of money." "And I should have a mess of frequent shopper rewards points" "I'd like to apply to this purchase." "Yeah, well, uh, I'm Max." "Max Fortenberry." "Paul McClatchy, Arapahoe Energy." "Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Max." "So um, so how much money we talking about here?" "I'm prepared to offer up to $10,000 an acre for three years, plus 17.5% royalties on any resources we locate and are able to extract." "Uh-huh." "How about twelve an acre for five years, plus 20% on whatever you find?" "Well, we can certainly negotiate, Max." "You got a card, Paul?" "Sure do." "There you ." "All right." "Well, uh, let me talk it over with my mama and we'll get back to you." "I would appreciate that very much, Max." "All right, thanks, Paul, and, and uh, have a nice day." "Right back at ya." "(LAUGHING) You can see that, I'm sure, on your computer." "Who was that?" "Jehovah's Witness." "Oh." "You want me to uh, make you another cup of coffee, Miss Fortenberry?" "Well, bless your heart." "And you know you're supposed to call me Mama." "Oh, yes, I'm here." "Uh-huh." "CRYSTAL:" "Jason?" "Jason." "You changed my life." "You know that?" "You woke me up to a whole other world, a world I never would have seen if it weren't for you." "Crystal," "Hmm?" "If you ever loved me..." "Of course I love you." "Well..." "I'm gonna be mama to all your baby cubs." "Huh." "Of which there will be many." "(GROANS)" "Dog damn, Jason." "You're burnin' up." "That means it's workin'." "Panther magic's taking hold of you." "Ain't that great?" "I'm, I'm dyin'." "I'm fuckin' dyin'." "You was always wondering' what your purpose was in life." "Well, this is it right here." "To save our people from goin' extinct." "(WHISPERING) Oh, Jesus." "Help me." "Our girls ain't gettin' pregnant much anymore." "Some do, but cubs either come out dead, or they die soon thereafter." "The ones that live ain't much to brag about." "Hey, Crystal?" "Look at me." "I'm sick, baby." "You ain't sick." "I, I need, I need a doctor." "You're bein' reborn." "As one of us." "As our new Ghost Daddy." "I need you to take this, okay?" "Uh, what is it?" "Medicine?" "Uh-huh." "Ah." "Thank you." "It's Mexican Viagra." "What the fuck?" "Not that you need it, but just in case." "Never worked on Felton, anyway." "(CHUCKLING)" "(DOOR CLOSES)" "SOOKIE:" "Hey, Tara." "I need a favor, Sook." "Okay." "I need you to talk to Eric Northman, and beg him to forgive Lafayette." "Forgive him for what?" "He'll know." "What if he doesn't?" "I, I went with Lafayette and Jesus to this Wicca circle thing that Holly and them are in, and Eric attacked us, and then one of the witches cast a spell on him to make him leave." "Do you know what kind of spell?" "No." "And why do I get the feeling you're more upset about somethin' happening to Eric than to, say, the leader of the circle, who he bit, or me, who he tried to?" "Oh my God." "So please, can you just try to square things between Lafayette and Eric?" "So Lafayette doesn't end up dead in that dungeon in the basement of Fangtasia?" "Again?" "Tara, I'm pretty sure Lafayette doesn't have anything to fear from Eric right now." "But I'll be happy to talk to him if I run into him." "If?" "He bought your house." "He has a cubby in it!" "Yeah, but, I haven't seen him." "I mean, since Pam told me he's gone missin'." "Missin'?" "Fuck!" "SAM:" "Well, hello, stranger!" "When did you get back into town?" "Uh, yesterday." "Where have you been for the last year?" "Well, my tables ain't gonna wait themselves, so..." "Join me in a shot of tequila?" "Hell, yeah." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "Here's to old friends." "(CHUCKLES)" "To old friends." "Which I'm assuming we still are." "Otherwise, I wouldn't even bother asking you, what the fuck?" "I need a little more information to know what you're talkin' about." "I tell you I'm a shifter, you leave town." "I don't mean sharing with you, but that fuckin' hurt." "That's not why I left." "I was just following your advice." "You said I could start a brand new life." "I ain't never said any such thing." "(CHUCKLES)" "'Cause that ain't true." "The life we got's the life we got." "The jury's still out on that for me." "You still hate me for bein' a shifter?" "Mmm." "I never hated you for anything." "Yeah." "I was just traumatized." "You okay now?" "Yeah." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "I'm good." "You got a place to stay?" "I got a unit open." "(LAUGHS)" "I'm, I'm just here for a few days." "Well, you can stay at my place." "Wow." "Um, that's really nice." "Well..." "But uh, I'm seein' somebody, Sam." "Oh." "Back in uh, New Orleans." "Okay." "Okay." "I wasn't insinuating..." "Mmm-hmm." "I'm seeing somebody, too." "Uh-huh." "It's uh, very early stages." "Yeah, well..." "Do her a favor and stop flirting' with me." "'Cause you hate it so much." "(CHUCKLES)" "You're bad, Sam Merlotte." "Yes, I am bad." "JESUS:" "Hey, Tara, Sam." "You guys seen Lafayette?" "He's in the kitchen." "No, he's not." "Fuck!" "Bye, Sam." "JESUS:" "I checked here to make sure he didn't do anything stupid." "Shit!" "His car is gone!" "Motherfucker." "Terry told me he paid him a hundred dollars, a hundred dollars to cover his shift tonight." "I thought you said you would talk him out of it!" "I thought I did!" "No, we should take my car." "I got somethin' in the trunk we're gonna need." "He's only got fifteen minutes on us, tops." "Motherfucker!" "(PHONE BEEPS)" "(PHONE RINGING)" "(VOICE MAIL) At the tone, please record your voice message." "(BEEPS)" "Eric, this is the second message I've left you." "I want you to call me back." "Now." "And to avoid any confusion, that is a command from your King." "(PHONE BEEPS)" "I have a proposal for you." "Okay." "I believe you and I have a very functional and successful business relationship." "So do I." "And, unless I'm mistaken, uh, that relationship is also friendly, genuinely friendly." "I agree." "Okay." "Thank you." "Now, I completely understand the concept of not rockin' the boat." "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." "But, on the other hand," "I think it doesn't make much sense to not go after something' one wants, when that somethin' happens to be seemingly unattached." "I do believe you are blushing'." "Well, here's the thing, Bill." "There are about three guys in this whole town that I ever considered dating'." "And I did." "I dated all three of 'em." "One turned out to be gay, one is a secret racist, and the other one is seriously underwhelming in the sack." "(LAUGHS)" "Now, you are the smartest, most powerful man I know, and I am the smartest, most powerful woman I know, so I propose we try, the operative word bein' "try," to add sex to that equation," "knowing that we are both adults, and if it doesn't work out, it doesn't have to impact our professional friendship." "Well, you really have thought all this out." "What do you say?" "I could never love you." "One needs a young heart to take the leap that love requires of us, and my heart, like every other part of me, is no longer young." "I can accept that." "Check, please." "JESSICA:" "I think he really likes it." "(COOING)" "It, it's kinda dirty, isn't it?" "No, no." "That's just age." "(COOING)" "Yeah, that doll's been in my family for a long time." "It's kinda like an heirloom." "Oh!" "Well, you should keep it then." "No, I owe your baby a gift." "Please, I want you to have it, and look, he loves it." "Thank you, Jessica, we appreciate it." "Nice, sturdy doll like that, he can't do too much damage to it." "How long you gonna keep wearing' that thing?" "Hey, can we talk?" "In private?" "Talk." "Got some pretty interesting news, Sam." "Okay." "Well, uh, Maxine's house might be sittin' on a fuckload of natural gas." "Oh!" "Good for Maxine." "Yeah, but the good part is, she don't even know about it." "How do you know?" "Prospector come to the house, talked to me." "And I didn't even tell her." "Why not?" "She's got a right to know." "Well, not if we're gonna buy the house out from underneath her." "I bet you we can get it cheap." "She got money problems." "Spends it all on mail-order dolls." "You want to buy Maxine's house?" "Yeah." "Yeah, you and me, and then we could split all the natural gas money." "I'm not gonna let you do that to Maxine." "What?" "What?" "Hey, you're choosing' Maxine over your own flesh and blood?" "No, I'm choosin' right over wrong." "Speaking of wrong, Tommy, there's definitely something' wrong with you if you would even consider doin' this to someone who's been nothin' but generous to you." "She don't care about me." "Maxine just wants another Hoyt." "Well, Hoyt is a good and decent man who would never steal from somebody, no matter what they did to him." "You're not even in Hoyt's league." "Hey, fuck you!" "I'm sick and tired of you always acting like you're so much better than me," "Sam Merlotte!" "At least I never tried to kill my own flesh and blood." "You know, actually, you did." "The very first night we met, you tried to get me run over by that truck." "Now, either you tell Maxine about that natural gas offer, or I will." "I hate your fucking guts, Sam Merlotte." "Fuck." "(PLEASURABLE MOANING)" "Oh!" "(FANGS CLICK) (GASPS)" "(WHISPERING) If you, if you want to." "Eric?" "Are you up?" "Brought you some Tru-Blood." "Eric?" "Oh, boy." "(SCREAMS)" "(GRUNTS)" "Shit." "It's one thing to fuck with me." "That doesn't make me angry, that just makes me laugh." "I say I ain't fucking with nobody, I swear." "But fuck with my maker, and you're just asking for it." "(STRAINED) I don't even know what happened to him!" "You and those goddamn witches erased his memory, and now I'm gonna erase you." "(SCREAMS) TARA:" "Like hell you will!" "Sorry." "Sorry, but she pulled a gun on me!" "Lafayette, are you okay?" "LAFAYETTE:" "Yeah, baby." "A gun?" "That's funny." "Bet you don't think the wooden bullets inside are too damn funny." "Okay, let's start with the fact that if you kill any of us, we cannot help you get Eric back." "I'm listenin'." "We're part of the circle that made this happen." "We might have a chance at reversing the spell he's under." "Are you a witch?" "I'm a brujo." "(SCREAMS)" "(SCREAMING)" "Crazy bitch!" "We can bring you the leader of the circle." "She's the only somebody who can reverse the spell." "Or I can just shoot you right in the heart." "I'll give you 24 hours to deliver that witch to me." "And if you don't," "I will personally eat, fuck, and kill all three of you." "(DOOR SLAMS)" "(WHISPERING) Oh, spirit, you are welcome here." "I am not your enemy, I am your friend." "A friend who is in awe of your powerful magic." "And, uh," "I am deeply grateful that you chose me as your conduit." "I ask nothin' of you." "I, I just offer myself." "Oh, spirit," "I ask you to invade me, and fill me up." "I will be your instrument on this plane to utilize as you see fit." "I trust in you completely." "It's a, a sacrifice," "that is only befitting of your magic." "I have tasted your power, and I know it don't come cheap, and I am willing to pay the price." "(GRUNTS)" "All my entire life," "I have been looking for my gift to mean somethin'." "Just to know, once and for all, why I was born with one foot in another world." "You make me your servant." "I beg you," "please come." "Ahhh!" "(PANTING AND GROANING)" "CRYSTAL:" "Oh." "Oh, fuck..." "Thank you, Ghost Daddy, oh, for coming back to us." "I wish I'd never laid eyes on you, Crystal Norris." "(GRUNTS)" "And for giving us the gift of new life." "You ain't worth one tenth of the trouble you caused me." "You're nothin' but a crazy hillbilly junkie!" "I love you, Jason." "(GROANS LOUDLY)" "And when this is over, oh, we get to be together!" "Oh!" "Oh, forever!" "(JASON WAILING)" "(GIGGLES)" "(WHOOSHING)" "I've come for you." "I'm not goin' back there." "Sookie, I understand it must have been frightening what you saw in Faerie, but please..." "Frightening?" "You're stealing people." "We are your true family." "You belong with us." "No, thanks." "Sookie, we can keep you safe." "Safe?" "When have you ever kept me safe?" "Well, the night you met Bill Compton, for one." "When that horrible little man came at you with his knife," "(GRUNTS) and you wrapped that chain around his neck," "I sent the energy that you sent to the chain, awakening the light inside you." "I was there, helping you." "How come you've never saved me from any vampires?" "I can't risk it, being what I am." "Vampires would kill me, and trust me, they will kill you." "Now come with me while you still can." "I thought the Queen closed all the portals." "Come with me." "Sookie, this is not a request." "Stay away from me." "Ahhh!" "(GROWLING)" "Eric!" "(MOANING)" "Eric!" "Eric, please stop!" "(WHOOSHING)" "(GROWLING)" "You just killed my Faerie-Godmother!" "Sorry."