"(TCHAIKOVSKY'S "THE NUTCRACKER:" "DANCE OF THE SUGAR-PLUM FAIRY")" "Good evening, madam, sir." "Doctor Freud." "Good evening." "Hello, ladies." " Hello, darling." " I haven't seen you for ages." "Oh, sorry!" " Oh!" " (GLASS SMASHES)" "(FOOTSTEPS)" "(CLOCK CHIMES)" "(SOPRANO SINGS SCALES)" "Merry Christmas dearest Father." "Max, put it out!" "(MAX) Please don't tell on me, Mary." "Just look at her!" "You've burned the whole dress." "And now you've made me lose my pen." "(GASPS FROM THE CROWD)" "(APPLAUSE)" "(STRONG GERMAN ACCENT) Ach, I am late again." "Hurry!" "Mary and Max will be waiting." "Ha!" "Father, look at my fairy's new gown!" " Mm." "Now, we can't wait any longer." " What about Uncle Albert?" "Your mother and I mustn't be late this evening." "Come on, Mary." "Max?" "Max?" "(MAX) I'm stuck in here." "Help." "Max, what did I tell you?" "Can't you listen to me for once in your life?" "Come on, up." "Finally!" "A motorbike!" "I've no idea." "All right?" "Almost ready." " (SOPRANO SINGS SCALES)" " Your mother is on her way down." "(CONTINUES SINGING SCALES)" "Is Uncle Albert here?" "Louise, we really need to get going." " Do you have to, Mother?" " We went over this, Mary." "But it's Christmas, and everyone should be together, and Uncle Albert will be disappointed." "Not as disappointed as I am, but I told you it's an honour to be asked to sing at the Palace Ball." " Yes, but..." " Imagine the guests I'll sing for." "Try and calm yourself, Louise." "I'd better go to the little girls' room." "(SINGS SCALES)" "Such a beautiful city, don't you think?" "Don't feel pressured to answer." "It was a rhetorical question." "But you know, I have the strangest feeling that we are being followed." "I'd better check." "Hm." "We are not being followed." "Now I'm a little disappointed." "(DOORBELL)" "We've been waiting and waiting!" "Ah, I'm sorry, my Max." "Merry Christmas!" "Ah!" "Merry Christmas, you two." "Are you leaving already?" "Is Christmas over?" "Did I miss it?" "I asked you to be here at five." "I don't carry a watch." "It inspires conformity." "Don't keep the children up with your fairy tales." "Speaking of fairy tales, will Doctor Freud be at the festivities?" "I certainly hope not." "(SQUEAKING)" "What's the matter, sweetheart?" "I wanted you to help me make them stay." "But you weren't here." "(SIGHS)" "Well, I doubt I could have done any better than you." "But I'm very sorry." "I hope you will let me make it up to you." "(DOORBELL)" "(DOOR SLAMS)" "Whoa!" " Where d'you want it, boss?" " By the tree." "And don't call me "boss"." "(THUD)" " Is it for us?" " Could be." "That's a crate load off my mind." "And don't talk to the children." "Yes, boss." "Oy." "Merry Christmas." "Eyes closed." "(DRUM ROLL)" "Voilà." "(BOTH GASP)" "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!" "Ahhh." "Uncle, it's beautiful!" "Ja, ja." "Each doll has his own story." "That dear fellow is named Gielgud." "In a faraway kingdom, he escaped the circus to join a prince's court." " You're making that up." " No, he told me so himself." "And never call him a monkey." "It makes him furious." " Why?" "Because he's a chimpanzee?" " Exactly." "Max, go ahead, give it a twist." "(MUSIC)" "Wow!" "(MUSIC: "DANCE OF THE SUGAR-PLUM FAIRY")" "Ahhh!" "Ha ha ha ha!" " (MAX) Who's the fat guy?" " Shh!" "You'll hurt his feelings." "That's Tinker." "He's very sensitive about his weight." "Well, I'm sure he just needs someone to play with." "Ja, that's his job." "Sticks." "He's a most promising young drummer." "But he plays so loud sometimes, he drives Tinker crazy." "Last one." " Oh, thank you, Uncle!" " Oh, you're welcome." "(SHOUTS) All right, children, supper time!" "Wait a moment, wait a moment." "I have something else to show you." "That means you too, Herr..." "Professor." "Mary and Max, meet the Nutcracker." "I call him NC for short." "But watch out." "They say he is the most wanted doll in town." "Who by?" "I would tell you, but then I would have to kill you." "Right." "Party advance to the kitchen." "Left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right." "Ah-ah-ah-ah." "Not until you have tied up all your loose ends, Mein Kapitän." "(SPLINTERING WOOD)" "Goodness, what a fruitcake!" "And I don't mean Frau Eva." "Are you coming, Mary?" "I want my Nutcracker first." "Max!" "How dare you?" "!" "Mary!" "Mary, let me see." "He broke him, look." "It's all right, darling." "It's not so bad." "Here it is." "He always breaks everything." "Fortunately, I always come prepared." "Mm." "(CHUCKLES)" "It's just a stupid toy!" "No, it's not!" "Tell him, Uncle." "Come down here, Max." "Ma-a-ax?" "Mary is right, Max." "What is just a toy for you may be a real friend for someone else." "It just depends on your imagination." "In fact, I have a theory about it." "You have a theory about everything." "Ja." "It's called "relativity"." "Would you like to hear it?" "Sounds hard." "Nein." "The hardest thing in the world to understand is income tax." "This... is a piece of strudel." "(TO THE TUNE OF "DANCE OF THE SUGAR-PLUM FAIRY")" "# If you're with someone tall" "# Truly vast, unsurpassed, built to last" "# They will think you're small" "# Never mind after all" "# When you meet a petite, short and sweet" "# They will think you're tall" "# Up is down Take is give" "# In is out Whisper, shout" "# There's no doubt it's all relative" "# Who's to say what" "# Is or is not?" "# Who writes your plot?" "# You do" "(CHILDREN) # Everything's relative Everything's relative" "Quite!" "# Everything's relative Everything's relative" " # Right!" "Every point of view is..." " View!" " # Simply up to you, it's..." " You!" " # How your dreams come true, it's..." " True!" " # As real as..." " Who?" "# Why, you!" "# This is that these are those" "# What is real What's ideal" "# What to feel?" "No-one really knows" "# Fantasy comes and goes" "# Black is white Day is night" "# So you might Turn your highs to lows" "# If you think positive" "# Open mind You will find" "# Life is kind It's all relative" " # Except..." " # Relative, all" " # What makes..." " # Relative, all" " # Us what..." " # Relative, all" "# We are, that's love!" "#" "(SIGHS)" "Why don't you come live with us, tuck me in every night?" "I'm always with you, dear." "If I seem far away, just think of me and I'll be close." "Now close your eyes." "And dream." "Will you tell us the Nutcracker story?" "Uncle?" "Uncle?" "I'm sorry about my brother." "Boys are like that." "No problem." "I'm used to it." "(GASPS)" "Oh, careful!" "I don't want to get broken again." " You can talk." " Of course I can talk." "I knew you weren't just a wooden toy." "All right." "If you really want to see something amazing, put me up somewhere high in the room." "Like the top shelf of the bookcase." "(CLICKS FINGERS) Mary!" "(NC) Oh, here we go." "Up, higher, higher." "Up, up, higher." "Up!" "Higher!" "Up." "Whoa." "Now spread some pillows around." "Stand back!" "Perfect." "Whoa." "Whoa." "Whoa!" "(SHOUTS) Timberrrr!" "(SPITTING FEATHERS)" "I can't believe it." "You did it." "What do you mean?" "I mean, I've been waiting for someone who believed like you." "You're really special." "You could imagine that I'm really alive!" "That I can move and think and act and... (GASPS) I have to act." "And now!" "I need a plan." "You know, you remind me of someone, but I can't think of who." "Not you, too?" "Someone very familiar, very famous." " Yes." "Napoleon." "I hate this hat." " So why don't you take it off?" "Because this hat is carved together with my head." "By the way, it's the first time I've seen a Napoleon nutcracker." "Please don't call me Nutcracker." "I hate that name as well." " Call me NC." " What?" "MC?" "No, NC." "N..." "C." " (FRAU EVA) Mary!" " (GASPS) Quick!" "Are you all right?" "What happened?" "I was fast asleep, dreaming, and..." "kerboom!" " Oh!" " My pillows, well..." "Just..." "They exploded." "Exploding pillows?" "Wait a minute." "I thought I heard voices." "Spontaneous combustion." "That's the name for it." "Didn't it ever happen to you?" "Yeah." "When I was younger, a boy moved to my town." " And he was so handsome." " Mm!" "Mm!" "I thought he was going to propose to me." " Ohhh..." " Maybe you can tell me in the morning." " What am I thinking?" "We'll tidy up..." " Good night." "...in the morning." " See you in the morning." "Ohhh, good night." " Good night." " (FRAU EVA HUMS LULLABY)" "OK." "Phew!" "She would have dropped dead if she saw me." "And we don't want that." "And that's on a good night." "You're a pretty good liar." "I'm impressed." "(STERNLY) Me?" "I never lie." "No?" "Then what was that about exploding pillows?" "I was merely being economical with the truth, and that's altogether different." " (CHUCKLES)" " They did explode!" " (KEEPS CHUCKLING)" " I just simply didn't say why." "(GASPS) That's it!" "I've got a plan." "I have to speak to my friends in the doll's house." " You mean they're alive?" " Of course!" "All dolls are alive." "So, what's the plan?" "Oh, it needn't concern you." "Girls are no good at military strategy." "Where are you going?" " I told you." "To the doll's house." " Wait." "I have to get dressed first." " I don't have time!" " How ungrateful men can be." "Grrrrrr!" "It's appalling, that's what it is." "I can't believe you're a friend of Uncle Albert's." "OK, I'm sorry." "You're right." "Get dressed, then." "(LOUD WOODEN FOOTSTEPS)" "Oh, wait a second." "You didn't see any rats down there, did you?" "Rats?" "In our house?" "My father wouldn't stand for it." "Phew." "You should see what they can do to a chunk of wood." "You might find it a little changed." "Are you ready?" "Yes, I'm ready." "I've never seen anything so big." "Where's the ceiling?" "The roof?" "Is this real?" "If you believe in it, it's real." "Come on." "Did we get smaller or did the room get bigger?" "If you don't mind me saying, that's a naive question." "Have you already forgotten what Uncle Albert said?" ""Everything is relative."" "Come on!" "Let's go!" "Every toy you hung on the tree is now alive." "The gnomes, the soldiers." "Even the snowflakes!" "(DISTANT CACOPHONY OF OPERA SINGING, SHOUTING, DRUMMING)" "Quiet!" "Be quiet!" "Be quiet!" " (SINGS OPERA)" " Oh, my head!" "Ooh, I'll have some chocolate." "(SHOUTING)" "Be quiet!" " Quiet!" " (SINGS OPERA)" "Can't leave them alone for a minute." "Come on." " Oof." " Let's pull it together." "One... two... three." "(SPLINTERING AND CRACKING)" "Run!" "(GIGGLING)" " Just be quiet." " You're all driving me crazy, man!" "What is going on?" "!" "The front of the house has just disappeared." " Come down here, you lot!" " This takes the biscuit." "Your behaviour is unbelievable!" "What do you expect from people living in such conditions?" "There's no privacy, it's two in the morning, and there wasn't meant to be any noise after 11 o'clock." " Be quiet!" " I have to file a complaint." "This house hasn't been refurbished for 30 years." "There's so much poussière... dust..." "that I've developed an allergy." " Tinker, one more word...!" " (SCOFFS)" " Gielgud..." " Your Highness, I have no excuse for my terrible behaviour." "But, in my defence, I was getting one of my migraines at the time, and I was reduced to this." "And he's still drumming!" "It looks, Your Highness, as if you have a plan." "Yes, I do." "What we need to do is..." "I shall never speak again, but I have to say one thing." " What?" "!" " Uncle Albert kept this house in his dusty attic for 30 years." "All of a sudden, it's his most valuable possession." "I've rarely heard of anything more cynical." "How dare you criticise Uncle Albert like that?" "!" "I like it." "(JAMAICAN ACCENT) Uncle Albert call me Sticks." "Maybe Your Highness should introduce us to his charming companion?" "What?" "Oh, sorry, yes." "Allow me to present our new owner, Mary." "Mary is Uncle Albert's niece." "This is Gielgud, Tinker, and Sticks." " Hi." " My closest friends." " The pleasure is all mine." " An honour." "Right." "The plan is this." "We're going in to fight against the Rat King." " If he's coming, I'm certainly not." " We're not gonna miss you, man." "Hold it!" "No-one is going anywhere yet." "Sticks, go up the tree and see if the Snow Fairy is up there." "Erm..." "No, I'll go myself." "Wait." "You're not going up the Christmas tree without me?" "You'll have more fun if you stay with us." "I'll teach you some drumming." "Oh, don't listen to him." "He's the least reliable person I know." "Hmph!" "Your Highness, it would be my pleasure to give you a lift." "I hope you have a head for heights." "I certainly don't." "(GASPS) Wow!" "After you." "All aboard?" "(GIELGUD) Your Highness!" "Say hello to your godmother from me!" "(NC) No problem!" "Why do they call you "Your Highness"?" "Oh, er, no real reason." "Just something they do." "The cherubim and seraphim!" "I hung them myself." "Hi." "(TINKLING)" "(THUD)" "(MUSIC: "RUSSIAN DANCE")" "Your Royal Highness!" "Merry Christmas to you!" " (TO MUSIC) Hey!" "Hey!" " Merry Christmas!" "Mary, you're very pretty." "Why, thank you." "Mother." "I've been waiting for you." "What took you so long?" "I had to deal with the others." "Everything is chaos down there." "What do you expect?" "They haven't been wound up for years." "I want to thank your friend Mary here for my wonderful new gown." "Perhaps it needs a little tuck here, to have a better shape?" "Let me see." "That's better." "You know, you look exactly like my mother." "But I'm not." " You're the Snow Fairy, aren't you?" " Who else would I be?" "(SNOWFLAKES GIGGLE)" "Can I talk to you for a minute?" "Shhhhh." "(SNOWFLAKE WHISPERS) Don't be frightened." " Aren't they beautiful?" " Oh, yes!" "You can join the dance if you like." "But I can't fly." "How do you know if you've never tried?" "(SNOWFLAKE) You can do it." "Get on with it!" "Go on!" "(MUSIC: "WALTZ OF THE SNOWFLAKES")" "(SNOWFLAKE) Come on, Mary, follow us." "(WALTZ MUSIC CRESCENDOES)" " (BRANCH CRACKS) - (SCREAMS)" "(SCREAMS)" "(SNOWFLAKES GIGGLING)" "Oh, I can fly!" "I can fly!" "Like I've always dreamt." "(SNOWFLAKES SING)" "(GIGGLING)" "(SQUEALS OF DELIGHT)" "(DISCORDANT PIANO NOTES)" "Snow's coming." "Ooh." "Ladies!" "That was wonderful!" "Bye!" "Oh!" "Oh, I can't believe I flew." "Well, you can do something even more amazing." "Like what?" "There is something I want to tell you." "(WHISPERS) About NC." "He is not like the others." "That terrible creature, the Rat Queen, cast him under a bad spell." "She's so awful, I can barely bring myself to say her name." "Rat Queen." "But with you here, Mary, we might just have a chance to defeat her." "(TO THE TUNE OF "WALTZ OF THE FLOWERS")" "# How do you face the world?" "# Cucumber cool or more frantic?" "# Do you take the view" "# Things you say and do" "# Never mean a bean when the world is so gigantic?" "# How do you see yourself?" "# Tough as old boots or romantic?" "# Is each day a new beginning?" "# Have you got a fight worth winning?" "# You can guess, yes and yes For you're special and unique #" "Do you believe anything is possible?" " Yes." " Then take his hand." "# Don't look down" "# Don't be afraid to touch a star" "# No matter how far, no matter how bright" "# Your dreams will take flight with beauty and power #" "(MARY) NC?" "(GASP)" "Is it happening?" "You're a boy." "Not just a boy!" "A prince!" "Wow." "You did it." "You believed." "And you released him from the Rat Queen's sorcery." "Now I can go to my city, and people can see me." "Now I have a plan." "I'm going straight back to my kingdom." "No, maybe I should wait." "You really are an ungrateful person." "The least you could do is ask her for a dance." "(TO THE TUNE OF "WALTZ OF THE FLOWERS")" "# Feel the power flowing" "# Keep the magic going" "# Young and old are growing" "# Through the power known as love... #" "(GRUFFLY) It's the Prince, all right." "I'd recognise him anywhere." "So, he's alive." "And he's dancing with the blonde." "We gotta go tell the King." "Let's get outta here." "As for the music, it's terrible!" "It's a long way up, and we're going right to the top." "It's so beautiful." "See that cloud there?" "It was my city..." "before the Rat King took it from me." "His mother turned me into a wooden nutcracker, and then he released his army into the city centre, scaring all of my people, on a beautiful spring day." "(MAN) Well, hopefully, she'll come round tomorrow." "(THUNDEROUS RUMBLING)" "(SMASHING CROCKERY)" "(SCREAMING)" "(EXPLOSION)" "(CLAMOURING AND SCREAMING)" "Why is there a black cloud?" "The Rat King is frightened of the sun." "So he has to burn everything in a smoke factory, including all the children's toys, just to keep that cloud going." "Bring the next case." "Move it!" "Come on!" "Something juicy, I hope." "We caught them trying to blow up the Palace, Your Majesty." "Sabotage?" "In my kingdom?" "Aren't you ashamed of trying to harm your king?" "I see no king." "I beg your pardon?" "You can turn our Prince into wood, and turn us into your slaves, but you'll never be more than a mangy, dirty rat to us." "(MURMURING)" "Such a pity." "It's all so unnecessary." "As someone who abhors violence..." "Here." "(SIGHS) So hard-headed, you humans." "Aaaargh!" "(JAZZED-UP VERSION OF "DANCE OF THE REED FLUTES")" "# They had their chance" "# But humans just couldn't do it" "# Ran the world so badly" "# That they blew it" "# Far too bright and breezy" "# Far too free and easy" "# Freedom makes me queasy" "# Now's the rat time for their fall" "(ALL) # Two, three four!" "# Welcome to a Stygian era" "# Darkness wherein rodents see much clearer" "# Days eliminated" "# Sunlight's overrated" "# Discipline created Rat-wing policies for all" "# So humans, sunshine, light We can't stand them" "# Rattus rules Quod erat demonstrandum" "# Glorious and gloomy" "# Destiny runs through me" "# And the lights go out" "# The lights go out" "# The lights go out!" "#" "(SQUEAKS OF TERROR)" "Genius!" "Yes, a masterpiece, huh?" "Come, come, come." "(IMPRESSED MURMURS)" "You the man!" "Way to go, boss!" "Please, you are too kind." "And I'll let you in on a little ratty secret, my greasy, terrorist little friend." "Soon, only us Rats will be left, and we'll have an empire that will last... a thousand years!" "(CHEERING)" "Oooh!" "Sorry." "Too long." "Lousy brakes." "Ahh!" "My loyal Bat Rats." "What news?" " Nothing special." " No big deal." "What news?" "I haven't time for games." "Your favourite prince is still alive, sir." " I knew it." " Grrr." "Oooh." "I'm... so scared(!" ")" "Maybe I should run into a hole... and hide." "Take them to the smoke factory!" "I knew it!" "I knew it!" "The Prince is alive!" " Zip it, baldy." "Move it." " He's alive!" "Ow!" "(SNARLS)" " (DOOR OPENS)" " Get my wig, quick!" "Quick." "Any idiot can face a crisis." "Day-to-day living that wears you down." "Oh, Mother!" " Mother!" " Oh, it's only you." "Mother." "You appear to be slipping, old gal." "Your spell on the Prince is broken." "He's alive." "Alive!" "If the other humans find out, my dreams will be shattered." "I see his stupid face laughing at me." "What am I going to do?" "Turn up your hearing aid, for crying out loud!" "Do you want to ratify the world or not?" "(SNARLS) Come to Momma." "Closer." "(CHILDLIKE SCREAMING)" "Be a rat!" "I'll put a new high-grade curse on that little runt, and then maybe one of your stupid soldiers can grab him!" "(CRYING) You bit me!" "Oh, you bit me!" "Get out!" "Make it stick the next time, will you?" "I need to build up my strength." "A little rat juice." "Must be that meddling Snow Fairy." "Little cutesy bore!" "(SUCKING AND SLURPING)" "Welcome to paradise." "Come on." "Over there." "You said the Rat King was frightened of the sunlight." "Mm-hm." "So why don't you just shut down the smoke factory?" "That's it!" "Fantastic!" "Maybe some girls are good at military strategy." "Oh, this is good." "What's happening?" "!" "The spell's back on." "How did they find out?" "(SHRIEKS)" "(SHRIEKS)" "(DISTANT BARKING)" "I'm coming." "Hold on." "(DOOR CLOSES)" " Mary!" " What is it?" "Why aren't you in bed?" " I have to save him!" " What, Max?" "No, not Max." "NC." " My tree." " What on earth is going on here?" " Frau Eva?" "Frau Eva!" " Coming!" "Did I oversleep?" "Oh, you're safe, you're safe." "Would you care to explain this?" "Erm..." "Well..." "Well, sir, I saw the exploding pillows, but this?" "Mary?" " Exploded?" " Pillows?" "That was before." "Listen, please." "I tried to tell you." "The King of the Rats is afraid of the Prince... (GASPS) Rats?" "!" "And the tree was chewed down by his Rat Dogs." "Joseph, do something." "I'm going to faint." "Don't be ridiculous, Louise." "There are no rats in this house." "You're meant to be in charge." "But what with that brandy glow, it's no wonder you see exploding pillows." " What's going on?" " You, get in here!" " Ow!" " Look what you've done." "I didn't do anything!" "He didn't do anything." "I told you, it was the Rats!" " I think I see one!" " Louise, please!" "Max never left the nursery." "This I am sure of." "Let me go!" "All right!" "Enough!" "Everybody, get to bed." "Children." "Louise, come down from there." "Tomorrow, I want real answers, young lady." "Hurry, back to bed, children." "Hurry." "So this tree was 200 feet tall and reached all the way up to the stars?" "I told you." "The ceiling was gone." "The ornaments danced, you flew, and then the tree came crashing down?" "It must have been wonderful." "Louise, even Max doesn't believe her." "Do you, Max?" "Not a word." "Perhaps you'd like to show us?" "Make this room grow before our eyes." "I can't." "I don't have the power." "Then maybe you'd like to explain how this tree got sawed through?" "Because they have steel teeth." "A bit of fun is one thing, Mary, but quite blatantly lying is another." "Now... give me that doll." "You can't have him." "Ever." "And I'm not lying." "I never do." "Joseph, listen." "Do you remember what Doctor Freud told us about child psychology and dreams?" "Please, can I have one morning without that quack being dragged into everything?" "Where are you going?" "I don't want you to see me cry." "Nobody's listening." "Not even trying." "# They simply say" "# Come what may" "# I'm lying" "# But on reflection" "# I'm simply different" "# One of a kind, I don't mind" "# I'm happy here" "# Here with my secrets" "# Here with my passion" "# Dreams become real And I feel I'm wanted" "# Here I am braver" "# I won't surrender" "# Safe in my world" "# And it's all I need #" "You know, I have the strangest feeling that something is wrong at Mary's house." "I'd better check." "(DOORBELL)" "I didn't do anything!" "I swear!" "Thank God you're here." "He won't admit to anything." "I want to talk to you." "Please help me." "(ALL TALK AT ONCE)" "Quiet!" "Happy Christmas, Joseph." " Is everything all right?" " Uncle, a quiet word in my study." "Of course." "(ALL TALK AT ONCE)" "Alone." "What I have to say isn't easy." "If you're discussing our children, I have the right to be here." "Mary has become unmanageable, and, Uncle, I'm sorry but it's more than a little bit your fault." "You think so?" "You do nothing but fill her head with fairy stories." "Dolls with souls?" "She's living in a fantasy world." "She has a wonderful imagination." "I know." "Mary's a very special girl." "We all know that." "But she must be prepared for the real world." "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." "Nevertheless, I'm sorry you feel this way." "The only solution that I can see..." "is for you to stop coming here." " If that's what you wish." " I'm afraid it is." "When you leave, please will you take the doll's house away with you?" "I see." "Tell me one thing before I go, Joseph." "What is in your pockets?" " Pockets?" " Mm-hm." "What's in your pockets?" "I've no idea." "Has it really been so long since you've been a child?" "Don't you remember?" "# There was a boy" "# Whose pocket" "# Contained one special treasure" "# A precious pebble worth much more than any diamond" "# Holding the pebble, he was king" "# But then one day, disaster" "# Mishap beyond all measure" "# The pebble vanished Whether lost or strayed or stolen" "# The boy felt that he'd lost everything" "# Distraught, he used every last resort" "# He searched long and hard" "# In short, he failed" "# And how he cried" "# His dreams had died" "# His enchanted world forsaken" "# But sadder yet the young forget" "# And all too soon his life was overtaken" "# By grownup toys By grownup joys" "# He grew serious and grand" "# And that stone, left alone" "# Abandoned on the sands of childhood #" "That was Joseph." "And he was just a year older than Mary is now." "You should have seen my pirate ship." "I made it all by myself." "Why so sad?" "He misses his pebble." "Don't you wish you had it back?" "Here." "I saved it for you." "(CHAIR MOVES)" "I'm so glad I didn't leave the house without my lucky pebbles." "(SQUEAKING)" "I'm not going to sit here waiting for the Rat King to come and find me." "He has spies everywhere!" "We can go and find the Snow Fairy, get the spell taken off." "What, for another 25 minutes?" "No, thanks." "That old Rat witch is not retiring any time soon." "She's getting stronger." "We've got to stop her!" "In that case, I'm coming with you." " Only..." " (MAX) What's going on?" "Max!" "You're a soldier." " What rank are you?" " Captain." "Captain Max!" "Do you want to join the fight against the Rat kingdom?" "Yes!" "Good, because we need some real fighters to defeat the Rat King." "There's a real Rat King?" " You didn't believe me." " You didn't believe your sister?" " Mm-mm!" "Oh!" " No." "Now, are there any weapons that aren't broken?" " (WHISPERS) What are you doing?" " What?" "(NC) Come on." "Done." "Good work, Captain." "Now, get yourselves ready for the journey." " Where are we going?" " To the kingdom." "Do you have motorbikes in your army?" " He's not coming." " You can come on one condition." "That you promise not to break any more toys." " Agreed, Captain?" " Sure." "That's easy." "All right, then." "Get dressed." "I'll go ahead and wake the boys." "(SHOUTING) Hey, sleepyheads!" "Rise and shine!" "(SIGHS)" "What's this?" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Arghhh!" "Whaaa!" "Argh!" "(VOICE FADES)" "(CLOCK CHIMES)" "(GASPS)" "NC!" "Hey, guys!" "Max, come on!" "NC!" "Where are you?" "You can't go without me." "(MAX) Mary!" "I found your pen!" "NC!" "NC!" "Where are you?" "(FAINT VOICE) Over here." " Here." " Where?" "In the chimney." "Here." "It's too dark." "I can't see anything." "Give me your hand." "(EVIL LAUGH)" " Wow." " Ah, here is the young Max." "This is the fine fellow who broke my Nutcracker's jaw." " It's the Rat King." " He doesn't look so scary." "Me?" "!" "Not in the teeniest bit." "In fact, I only came to ask you to play with my toys." "Hm?" "Play something for the kiddies, drummer boy." "Something snappy." "Boom chicka-chicka boom." " Nothing funny." " Move!" "(RAT KING) Does that jar anything loose?" "Hm?" "(STEADY BEAT)" "You call that music?" "You seem to have forgotten that all toys have a breaking point and you've reached yours!" "Whoo!" "Catch!" "No, Max!" "Put it back!" "You might feel a little light-headed at first." "Don't worry." "I won't neglect you, you little wooden brat." "Oh, no!" "Oh, no, you couldn't be happy cracking nuts." "Ingratitude." "Ha!" "Open your mouth, Prince." "Oh, yes!" "Yes!" "(SHRIEKS WITH LAUGHTER)" " Leave him alone!" " (LAUGHTER)" "Leave him alone!" "Like a good little Prince." "I'm not afraid of you." "Yes?" "Or?" "(ROARS)" "Wow!" "Can you do that again, please?" "(SWALLOWS AND BELCHES)" "Max, my, er... friend, er... your sister has to learn some... manners." "You ever wonder what happens to a doll's soul when it burns?" "No." "Perhaps now's a good time to start." "(LAUGHS)" "Toss them in the trap, and then take them to the smoke factory." "Come on, move." "No!" "Wait!" "(CRYING OUT)" " Stop!" "Let them go!" " Or what?" " I'll call my father." " Father?" "You can't even convince the man we're real." "(SHRIEKING)" "Where does it go?" "Rat World." "We even have a special Rat Bike for you to ride." " A Rat Bike?" "With a motor?" " Max, come back!" "I'll be right back, Mary." "Promise." " Come, take my hand." " Max, don't even think about it!" "No, wait!" "Traitor!" "(CRYING)" "Wow!" "Look at these machine guns!" "Awesome hardware!" "Wow!" "This is amazing." "It's just unbelievable." "Wow." "Can I drive?" "Anything for boys who break toys." "Enjoy the bonfire!" "I'll watch the sky for your smoke!" "Get the rope and be ready." "Look!" "Look!" "The Rat King is going to the Palace." "(HEAVY BREATHS)" "Gielgud?" "Yes, ma'am." "(TEARFULLY) He's gone." "They're all gone." "I tried to protect him." "They just knocked me down." "(SOBBING)" "Your house..." "It has an attic, I presume." "Yes." "And in this attic, there is a mirror?" "Yes." "Then we may just be able to find His Highness after all." "NC, what should I do to stay alive?" "Keep calm." "We can do this." "Now block the rear view." " (STICKS) And me?" " Get the rope." "Oof!" "Hey!" "Hey, let me go!" "Let me go!" "On my signal, hit the brakes!" " All right, lock 'em up!" " Yes, sir!" "(BRAKES SCREECH)" "Let's get out of here." "OK, stay here, guys." "I'll go first." " Ah." " Here it is." "Just a mirror." "Here, help me with this." "Mind your toes." "Ah, yes." " Hm." " (HOLLOW SOUND)" "No, no." "Not just any mirror." "How do you do that?" "Remember what your Uncle Albert used to say?" "That which seems beyond our reach may in fact be... close at hand." "You just have to step through." "I've been there before, Miss." "Allow me to lead the way." "Hm." "Ahh." "Hmm." "One too many cupcakes." "Ooh!" "Oh." "(STRAINS)" "Come with me." "Yes." "(DISTANT SHOUTING)" "Where are we?" "We've stepped through into the Prince's city." "Stay close, Miss." "This looks familiar." "Yes, Miss." " Stop!" " (SHRIEKS)" "Hey, stop!" "Stop!" "Wait right there!" "(GIELGUD SCREECHES)" "Come back here!" "Now, wait a second, where did they go?" "Huh." "Toys." "Huh?" "Eurgh." "(CLUNK)" "Ah, the art of disguise." "(CHUCKLES)" "This used to be a beautiful town." "(GIELGUD) The sun is blocked out by smoke from burning toys." "You do know the Rats burn toys?" "What is this?" "The Rat King wants to turn everyone Rat." " Oh, excuse me..." " Argh!" "(ACCORDION PLAYS)" "This song!" "Uncle Albert?" "Shh." "Could you tell us the way to the Rat King's smoke factory?" "Follow the toys." "Stay close." "(CHILDREN CRYING)" "(LAUGHS)" "This way out." "Come on!" "I'll go and see where we are." "Whoa!" "Argh!" "Rat Dog!" "Run!" " Move your butts and run!" " Close the door!" "Quick!" "Faster." " I can't go so fast." " (THUD)" "Run for it!" "Go on!" "We're not leaving you." "That is an order." "Come on, doggy, over here." "Whoa!" "Here, dog..." "Oh, goodness!" "I hate this hat." "Your Majesty, the list of prisoners." " (MAX) Stop!" "Stop!" " Get off!" "Get away, you little runt." "(MAX) Go away!" "Move!" "Ah!" "Finally, we can begin." "My little friend, look." "Ha!" "All the boys and girls giving joyfully for the good of Rat World." "We call it..." " (WHISPERS) Rat Aid." " Rat Aid, yes." "They don't look so happy." "Of course they are!" "They're helping make my cloud." "(CLEARS THROAT)" " Ahem!" " Yes, Your Majesty." "Come on." "(FANFARE)" "# This is a day so joyous" "# We are bursting with glee and pride" " (DRUM BEAT) - # Those who would once destroy us" "# On our side, ratified" "# Sing and emote with passion" "# It's the darkest of partnerships" "# Good guys are out of fashion" "# In eclipse Read my lips" "# Rats, this will require" "# Gloom and murk and mire" "# Don't be afraid to parade your desire" "(ALL) # Gloom and murk and mire" "# So this is our manifesto" "# Which, in short, is:" "What I say goes" "# We are all rodents now" "# Heed the call, make the vow" "# To oppose" "# The slightest glint of light" "#" " Ratification" " Ratification" " # Ratification - # Ratification" " # Ratification - # Ratification" "# Rat on #" "(YELLS)" "(MUSIC: "SPANISH DANCE")" "Fantastico!" "Fantastico!" "Hold it!" "I shall call it Moaning Lisa." "Yes!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "(GASPS)" "Max!" "Max, come down and play!" "Ah, yes." "Here he is!" "Here he is!" "The Rat race's newest recruit!" "Yeah!" "Tear apart as many of these beauties as you like!" " I don't want to." " What?" "(MUSIC DIES DOWN)" "(KING RAT) Am I hearing things?" "(DISTANT THUNDER)" "You don't want to break toys any more?" "No-one should break another kid's toys." ""No-one should break another kid's toys."" "You're not a Rat boy!" "You're a wrong boy!" "(TEARFULLY) I wanna go home." "I want my sister." "Lock him up!" " Don't worry, she'll be joining you soon." " Mary!" "Help me!" "Mary!" "Let me go!" "Max!" "# Now we are all united" "# In the dark, we advance as one" "# No longer are we blighted" "# By the rays of a burnt-out sun... #" " Follow the toys." "Remember?" " Yes." "Miss Mary, no!" "(SHRIEKS)" "(TOY SQUEAKS)" "(TINKER) It's really hot in here." "(TOY SQUEAKS AGAIN)" "Sticks." "Tinker." "Where's NC?" "He saved us." "But one of the Rat Dogs caught him." "I think he's dead." "Look." "He can't be." "We have to stop him." "Come on." "They'll spot you!" "Then you have to distract them for me." " How?" " Quickly!" "(WHISTLES "DANCE OF THE SUGAR-PLUM FAIRY")" "Oh!" "Aaaarghhhh!" "# You gotta hang loose and catch the show" "# Don't need an excuse to go, Rat, go!" "# Let your fur down Join the winners" "# Overture, Act One Beginners" "# The sets, the lights, the spangly tights" "# The awesome opening nights" "# You gotta hang loose and catch the show... #" "Don't look down." "Gnomad, look up there." "Keep working." "Keep working!" "(SHRIEKS)" "Please!" "NC, we have to hurry." "Please!" "You can't die." "We came all the way to your kingdom and you can't leave me." "You can't leave me." "I can't wake him." "Please help me." "You have to." "The last time, their power overwhelmed me." "So this time..." "It has to be you." "How?" "(TEARFULLY) What do I have to do?" "(WHISPERS) I don't know." "NC, I love you." "NC?" "You're alive." "You did it." "I'm alive." "You saved me." "Yes." "You brought me back." "Your Highness." "You're alive." "He's alive!" "(YELLS)" "(GUNSHOT)" "(PANDEMONIUM)" "(SHOUTING)" "Mother!" "You're in big trouble now." "Grrrr!" "Would you care to explain how a child could defeat your spell?" "Who knew somebody could love a chunk of wood?" "Maybe it's time to do what we do best." "And what's that?" " Abandon the sinking ship." " What?" "!" "Climb aboard that new flying machine of yours and flee, run away, skedaddle, bolt." "Abandon my kingdom over some spoiled brat and a little girl?" "It's what rats do, sonny!" "We run!" "And little girls and love can be very dangerous." "What do you want us to do?" " Can we get through the sewers?" " Through there." " I'll go." " You're not going anywhere." "Not you, Miss Mary." "Barnabas, come here." "Go and look at the sewers." "Careful." "There may be Rats down there." " What if we can't get through there?" " I'll make sure we can." "(ROARING)" "(SHOUTING)" "Hold it!" "Quick!" "Everybody back!" "Come!" "Get back!" "Come!" "Come!" "I'm taking the scenic route." "(CACKLES)" "(YELLS)" "(SCREAMS)" "(GUNFIRE)" "Come on!" "Go up." "High." "But what about you?" " I've got a plan." " Wait!" "(BULLETS RICOCHET)" "(CABLE SNAPS)" "(THUD)" "(EERIE SILENCE)" "(BIKE COMES TO A HALT)" "I'm not afraid of you!" "(POUNDING)" "Aha!" "Aha-ha-ha!" "I hope you're saving the last dance for me." "It seems your precious Prince left you all alone." " No." " Really?" "Then where is he?" " I don't know." " You're not a very good liar." "Are you going to tell me where the Prince is?" "Or shall I bite your fingers off... (GROWLS)... one by one?" "Let's start with the little finger." "I'm right here, fang-face!" "Seize him!" "Go on, seize him!" "(HIGH-PITCHED NOISE)" "High-frequency alarm!" "Ow!" " I gotta get out of here." " Mary!" " No!" "Let me go!" " Come, come, come." "Stop him!" "NC!" "Let me off." "Jump on!" " See you at the Palace." " Hold on tight, Your Highness." "NC!" "Brrrrrr!" "All in one piece and?" "Are you all right?" "NC!" "(SIGHS)" "(PANTING)" "Your Highness, I can see daylight." "What kind of a son abandons his own crippled mother?" "I bet I can fly that machine you were talking about." " You?" "Huh!" " Sure." "I can fly anything." " You?" " Mm-hm." "Um, I can fly silver ones." "I can fly any flying machine in the world." "Try now." "(CREAKING)" "(THUD)" "You said you could fly this thing!" "I know I can." "I just don't know how to take off." "(PANTING)" "(GIELGUD) We have to make it up to the roof of the Palace." "Hurry up with that stuff." "We've gotta get out of here." "What have you done with Max?" "More to the point, what did that little monster do with my mother?" "(SHOUTING AND EXPLOSIONS)" "To the Palace!" "To the Palace!" "Come on!" "This is the moment when oh-so-sensitive humans usually quote something." ""To be or not to be:" "That is the question."" "You're not unintelligent, for a Rat." "Oh, please!" "(DISTANT SHOUTING)" " Oh, my God!" " Uh-oh." "Get in!" " I was looking for you, you old hag!" " Max!" "We were just warming it up for you." "Not that you deserve anything, running out on me like that." "Keep going." "Where are we?" " I thought we were..." " Oh, the Palace!" "We've come up the wrong tower!" "Come on, do it for Momma." " (ENGINE STARTS)" " That a boy!" "(CLANKING AND CREAKING)" "Take me with you!" "Come on!" "Take me with you!" "We've got to stop this thing." "What's the matter with you?" "Little whiner." "Wow!" "Close that hatch, will you?" "Say hello and goodbye to your Prince." "That boy is mine!" " Argh!" " Get down!" "(CACKLING)" "No!" "Victory!" "(LAUGHS)" "Hold on!" "Hold on, Your Highness." "Go on." "You dirty rat!" "Take the seat!" "Gielgud, push him!" "We're gonna have a ride!" " Gielgud, go for him!" " (GIELGUD SCREECHES)" " Go!" " (ROARS)" " I'll throw him out!" " Do it!" " They're getting bigger!" " Well, turn!" "(SCREAMING)" "Arghhh!" "Watch out!" "(ENGINE DIES)" "Ooh." "My bananas." "Mother?" " Are you OK?" " I'm fine." "But you look terrible." "I don't have my mirror." "What do you expect?" "(WAILS) Don't blame me for breaking this one." "It's not my fault." "Max, you were brilliant." "It's OK." "(KING RAT) Mother?" " (SQUEAKING)" " Mother..." "Look!" "Look!" "(SQUEAKING)" "She's always the first." "Move!" "Move!" "(SHOUTING)" "Catch him!" "Get him, he's over there!" "He's over there!" "Ciao!" "They've gone." "The Rats are gone!" "(CHEERING)" "(ALL) # It's been a long journey home A dark and dangerous ride" "That was the evil Rat King who tried to turn off our sunlight!" "# We saved our world We turned the tide" "# Life begins again" "# Reborn with the sun" "# As light cascades the barricades of monsters fall" "# And the evil that they do destroys them all" "We've won!" "(CHEERING)" "# We've had a long journey home" "# Again the sun starts to shine" "# The Rats revert to type Desert their sinking cause" " Mary." " Thank you." "# Slinking through the night as we reclaim what's yours and ours #" "Hey, where were you?" "I couldn't find you." "We were looking for you." "Gnomad, hey!" "I'm sorry, Mary, but it's time for you to go home." " But this is my home." " No, this is only a dream, darling." "Then I don't want to wake up." "Can I stay?" "Can I stay?" "I'm afraid not." "Your parents will miss you terribly." "So will Max." "They're all waiting for you." "Goodbye, Mary." "You have to go." "I'll never be able to repay you." "We'll meet again." "Really?" "I promise." " # It's been a long journey home - (GIELGUD) Goodbye, Miss Mary!" "Bon voyage, my dear!" " (STICKS) We're gonna miss you!" " Bye." "# But in the end we survived... #" "(SOFTLY) Mary, sweetheart." "Wake up, darling." "Wake up." "Were you dreaming, dear?" "It was so beautiful." "I really want to hear all about it." "Mary." "You have a visitor." "Hurry and dress, nicely." " I will help you." " Mm, yummy." "Uncle Albert!" "Mary!" "(CHUCKLES)" "I missed seeing you yesterday." "Are you all right?" " Much better." " Good." "I hope you don't mind, but I brought someone along." "He's a little shy." "Are you ready?" "Mary, I would like you to meet my new neighbour, Nicholas Charles." "(GASPS)" "Good morning, good morning, good morning." "You know, last night I suddenly realised that everything is NOT relative." "It all depends on the motion of the observer." "They call me NC for short." "Look what I have." "My father's magic pebble." "("WALTZ OF THE FLOWERS")"