"One Rainy Day" "where should we prepare his table?" "go!" "he has a table in the cellar!" "it's me" " Kenny." "It's urgent and I'm waiting for you." "I want my money" "You know..." "I'm tired of waiting." "hello Kenny" "I'm hungry want some ice-cream?" "I want food it's all that I have." "Dad sends his regards- family says they miss you" "Sister!" "One day is one day on a rainy day- brother!" "Birthday?" "Friday?" "Wedding day!" "yes wedding day" "There's ice-cream on your forehead." "Never mind." "I'm betrothed and I'm in love to death." "with who?" "with a prince with a white horse." "How do I look?" "Like a bride" "No, I mean how does it look?" "whats wrong with you- are you going?" "remember you'll be driving the coach" "I'm getting married tomorrow." "Is this where you can buy ice-cream?" "Give me one of your specials." "let me see." "A bit of the green, bit of the brown, some of the white, some pink, and a bit of you." "Leave my sweets- go stand there." "look he's arrived where's his horse?" "where's your..?" " his horse died." "my what?" "just suddenly." "Oh world." "A shame." "it was such a good and trusted animal- with a cough and a splutter and there it lay - dead as a doornail- how did it die again?" "tomorrow it will be you- cost you ten cents." "what did the Irishman say to the Pope?" "no idea no way." "Do I look like an Irishman" " I'll say what I want." "He said I see the pink, I see the red and I see the brown, but where are you?" "I'm the cherry- bury it in there." "he isn't coming." "Come with me." "where to?" "let's go dance." "that also costs 10 cents." "coming along?" "what time?" "You tell me." "I get home about about half seven- an hour to get ready- what about 8?" "it's the first time you've asked me." "Well, today is a special day." "see you at 8" "Kenny's back." "I know" "Like I said- today is a special day." "so, you came." "nice to see an old friend." "I didn't get your money." "sit, make yourself at home." "At least the lights are still on." "Got a smoke?" "I'm so hungry" " I only have R120, its all I could get." "I'm broke" "R656" "I'm broke, Kenny." "I'm sorry to hear it." "I'm finished- finished with you too." "it's over." "that's what happens when you play marbles all day." "I don't gamble anymore." "you'll get the rest when I can pay" "I want it by tonight." "I have a prior engagement tonight." "with our sister." "You have an appointment with Wanger- he's waiting." "forget it!" "I said my side of the story is R650- exactly." "I'm coming at 12 today to pick it up." "Never mind your intenstines tell me about the poster." "There where there's pirahnas." "There where the buses are." "Where I bought a bunch of things." "The picture are stuck to the windows like this." "A happy snap." "I was standing looking, it must have been early." "I saw...this girl's titties." "There in the window." "And then you were in love with her on the spot." "and then my innards began to feel all weird- just here." "In the middle of your intestines." "what did her hair look like?" "I don't know." "I mean, did she smile?" "did she sit or stand?" "what was she doing?" "she was there in the window." "just like the crabs and lobsters." "you are too short-sighted." "Open your eyes!" "OPEN." "Grab her by the breasts." "See me, here I am stick out your hand, smile, say pleased to meet you." "I am a constipated crab." "what if she gets a fright?" "A girl wants to be mesmerised." "Put out your hand-grab her, don't sit back sagging." "yes." "Not 'yes' say YES!" "On your feet!" "stand like a man of esteem!" "click your heels!" "chuck that ice-cream!" "what will we do now?" "I am going dancing." "Until the sun comes up" "Fourteen" "what are you doing?" "playing tennis." "You?" "Oh I you were putting on your face." "I am so lucky that I don't need a face." "You need a new pair of slippers though." "why are you doing up your face so patchy?" "I take off the old face crupple it up and throw it in the bin." "For me it's just Lifebouy soap and water." "Makes my face shine naturally." "and your teeth and your hair?" "water and dishwashing soap." "and then I put the curlers in every Tuesday." "Mine curls by itself." "I wanted to buy myself one of those but thought I'd stick to the soap and the curlers." "Far more natural." "and is that even a dress?" "isn't it a bit too loose fitting?" "when last did you wear a dress?" "but you can see the top of your hips." "Hips are for dancing!" "Have you never danced?" "Yes, many times." "When?" "Oh that time with Attie in Durban it's cold here with this open." "it was very formal mind you." "He had a shawl." "And a yellow and white "thingee"." "I smell something burning." "potatoes?" "peaches." "rice?" "no it's not rice." "I know- its pumpkins." "My pumpkin." "Oh don't let me husband get home now." "Forty twenty" "what time did you say he's coming?" "8pm well its past 8 now." "oh wait I want to hear what the doctor says." "next thing you know its half 9." "I'll wait alone I don't need you." "he should have been here ages ago." "he must have smelt your burning pumpkin." "look at you standing there like something left on the shelf." "But I learnt a long time ago." "You can forget about a man's reliability." "who must I take out my curlers for?" "the dog or the maid?" "what time was he meant to be coming?" "tonight's the last night that you'll be with us." "tomorrow you start a new life." "we dont realise that soon our children will be all grown up." "I also give up my beloved and our selves." "Take it with you." "Go well." "I'm crying." "I'm thinking of my brother Paul." "There stands the wireless." "They were to discuss people's lungs." "I missed it." "I didn't ask you." "Yes but i was worrying." "where are you going now?" "I'm going dancing." "where's Paul?" "You know where he is." "what will you give me?" "A tub of peaches and a hotdog." "thirty" "fifteen" "thirty" "sixteen rand" "its twenty to twelve" "I'm here." "I SAID I'M HERE not now" " I can't" "GO" " GET OUT" "Ten" "Two hundred" "There!" "Take your money!" "Sit" "Play" "two hundred" "What are you doing here?" "how late is it?" "already past two" "I was worried when you went out well I'm here now" "what happened to your face?" "Old Jan Van Riebeek's fish dam. (man on South African currency)" "Oh , well here I go now." "Thank you for waiting up." "Was it nice?" "were there lots of people?" "Loads." "did you find him?" "which orchestra?" "The Fantastics so you danced, eh?" "oh we danced!" "As soon as we arrived it was full of dancing." "that orchestra!" "Every time I took a breath there went my foot again." "then he grabbed me, and he held me." "When I looked a crowd had gathered round me." "Then he kissed me." "to a place in Warmbaths." "I also lived there once." "and then?" "we danced until I was winded." "did you faint?" "when I came to he wooed me with a bottle of Champaign." "smell that?" "Pure Champaign." "and you?" "did you wake up from fainting?" "No he just slapped me twice and then my breath returned." "yes, you laugh." "If you were married it would dry you up as well." "You'll see." "I'll never stop laughing." "200 rand." "200 again." "R200" "R200 again" "Take your money." "you're in this too" "it's so grand I don't know if I should stand or sit." "Where's Paul?" "All I have left to see is the Voortrekker Monument" "You won't shout at me again." "You must find Paul and bring him here." "He's left me." "He got a fright and ran off." "he ran!" "Stop him." "Quickly!" "he's going to turn me in." "help me help me" "he betrayed me!" "I didn't want to." "I grabbed you because he fucked me over!" "I wish I was dead" "Stop him!" "GET THE BASTARD!" "did you know the joke about the one man who killed another?" "he was strung up." "there's nobody here, they're back from reception and the bride must rest" "so ring til the heavens descend!" "Ring ring!" "God loves me today and that's why I am going to praise his name." "Wonderful to praise the messiah's name." "And wonderful that you can call on God by his name." "...of what we're going to do with Jesus." "I have heard how the prodigal son who asked his father for his inheritance which was given to him" "He went away on an arduous journey..." """What is it Letitia?" "Why are you so pale?" "You're quivering"" "I c-can't!"" ""Please Letitia"...."The trials have returned from the..."" ""listen next Saturday..."" "COME HERE QUICKLY!" "The tests came back." "Letitia has cancer." "and still so young." "but wasn't she rotting from inflamation last time ?" "thats when she broke off her engagement it was all in her head." "its plain and simple she's having a baby." "says who?" "these things work that way." "first broken engagement." "Then he breaks it off." "Then they make up and marry." "oh yes, after three months it's all ok and he's suddenly back home." "due to drink. after three months the tests return and then its back to eating wieners, bologna after 9 months they have a little baby." "why did she get cancer then?" "Are you two going away to dance?" "no, I'm just standing out here for the fresh air." "only fresh air I get is on my knees with a mop in my hand." "if this GTI doesn't shine tonight I'm going to the other guy." "The rollers will be in my hair permanently and I won't get my footlong." "whats that?" "sausage and bread." "but you're alright." "You only drink Champaigne and Piri-piri prawns." "have you asked him to marry?" "last night." "quick on your feet eh?" "I told him just like that." "I said listen here, Bucko, bring, bring bring that family of yours." "so they can investigate." "Yes, never too careful." "Attie was also like that." "he also acted like he was descended from Lord Gogum (?" ")" "by the time I caught on it was too late." "I also only thought of cake and Champagne." "All I do now is scrub tyres and listen to the wireless." "when's he bringing his people?" "I'm going to surprise them." "I'll drive to the front of the gate, and go in." "then there'll be no turning back." "that's right, you show them, you hear?" "don't let them order you around." "I'm dying of thirst!" "I'm coming!" "don't let us put you off." "I'm alright." "I'M COMING remember you take your face along." ""you are always with me"" "I must have this house!" "don't panic my darling." "you shouldn't step over the threshold." "oh stop, it's my day." "if it were up to my I would never see the day when you stood next to that dump." "she lifts her veil and is then given away." "I'm looking for Paul's mother." "they live all the way down there." "Morning." "I'm here." "Yes?" "he's not here then?" "Mrs, you are married right?" "thought so" "do you know the story about the woman and the rocking chair?" "I love Paul." "sorry, what's the joke?" "it's not that kind of joke." "I am just stupid." "who are you?" "who don't know me but I know Paul and... does he love you?" "it's his father lying here." "there's 200 years of Rousseau's buried here." "from his grandfather's grandfather onwards." "this the whole gang?" "so its full of grandfathers eh?" "and none of them knew me." "I came because I'm looking for him." "whats your name?" "Hester with an H but they call me Sissy Botha." "My name is Louisa but they call me Cookie." "I always wondered how you would look and what your name would be." "I was right about the eyes, but wrong about the Wonderwoman." "don't believe what's written on my chest." "My mother always said its whats inside that counts." "I just buy ice-cream." "Do you eat ice-cream?" "why have you come here?" "do you eat ice-cream?" "where's my son?" "I'm hiding behind humour and I don't know where to find him." "why do you say that?" "because my tears and laughter get confused." "don't even know what I'm looking for here." "if you find him bring him here." "do you eat ice-cream?" "we'll be on strike next." "Those were the days when you called a cow a cow." "right here in Die Burgher, in the old days you could open this anywhere it was foreign affairs, education, economics, - now its just bad news." "the margarine's white then its yellow, then its up then its down." "today the cows are overfed, tomorrow there's a drought." "I can still sing it "drink a litre milk a day"" "eek what did I pay the other day for a 2ltr milk?" "R4.65, next time you'll pay with your life." "all the prices up, look here: tin foil 66cents," "I'm not a talkative type but you don't understand, you're still young." "yes I lived in the Cape for 30 yrs." "where are you from?" "where are you off to?" "is this where they sell ice-cream?" "yes, Mr. De Beer." "it is." "they say this is where the old lady with the children lives." "don't tell the welfare, they'll take all my children away." "where were you?" "got you now!" "spare us now I'm going to throw you and your children out in the street." "can I help you?" "I'm looking for Sissie Botha." "Sissie Botha?" "last I heard she was standing for parliament." "Listen here, I come from Nigel (town)and there's only enough of me for one man." "well excuse me." "you better be excused." "I might look like a green grenade but I know my politics yes alright, sorry, sorry." "sorry, sorry- is that all they taught you at school?" "ok get finished and put on the cherry." "it doesn't help to try laughing anymore." "what did van der Merwe say to the Pope?" "no, the Pope is dead and your van der Merwe is a liar." "he says he's coming to fetch me but he doesn't arrive." "he said we're going dancing but he laughs with his eyes and lies with his mouth." "doesn't matter." "it does, you ask me to come then you leave me." "NO!" "I said I'm sorry and I couldn't, didn't and didn't want to." "I don't know." "all that matters is now." "And if you want me to say I'm sorry then I'm sorry." "I didn't want to and I couldn't." "I just came to say that I love you." "you were at the farm." "you owe me 10 cents" "I have no money." "then you're not getting ice-cream." "its all I have." "for me?" "what did Van der Merwe say to the Pope?" "don't know." "he said its for you." "its for you, what's wrong?" "your brother's waiting for me." "no, don't" "I must go." "Goodbye." "you forgot your ice-cream" "no." "can I help you?" "I want to lay a charge against someone." "who my brother." "what is the nature of the crime?" "murder" "you came." "you've left me waiting." "let's go for a drive." "no." "not this time." "climb on." "I came to fetch you." "you won't get away" "do you hear me?" "I'm waiting for you." "I'm not running away this time." "you better hurry, your time is up." "I'm not running away anymore!" "You're finished!" "not doing your dirty work anymore." "I'm not running away anymore!" "come." "people are waiting for you." "now we're both living in our own joke." "No, I live in yours." "Things can't change." "where were you?" "know the joke about the prince on the white horse?" "have a look at this." "would you look at him!" "thats what you call handsome." "what about your prince?" "he was there and there and there and then they shot him." "is he dead?" "yes, he's dead." "oh my God," "you said the prince sat on his horse and he looks and he rides." "and as he was looking they shot him just like that." "and then it was over." "was it one of those princes with the hats?" "a white hat?" "beautiful, must be ghosts." "why is he waving at me like that?" "he doesn't know me." "you expensive fucker!"