"Yolanda!" "Yolanda, look, come off it." "Don't be angry." "I'm sorry." "I swear I'll never laugh at you dancing again." "Come on, Yolanda, don't be angry." "I said I was sorry." "Look at me, will you?" "Alright, look, Yolanda, you win." "I'll give you my Robert Burns." " I don't want it." " You don't want my Burns?" " No." "Well, that's just fine, Yolanda!" "Just fine!" "Hey, Yolanda, look..." "There in the sea!" "It's a bottle!" "If there is a map inside, we can find a treasure and become extremely rich!" "Go on get it!" "Alright..." "I'll go." "Got it!" "Oh, look, Yolanda, it's just a piece of an old book on Dali." "Look, look at that." "Not a fan of Dali, are ye?" "Look, listen to this..." ""No, I never went to Brazil because in Brazil, I heard, there are huge butterflies that suck people's brains."" " Really?" " Oh, yeah!" "Don't you know?" "Of all Brazilian problems, huge butterflies is the worst." "You see, once I was just calmly walking down the street when suddenly this great blue butterflie came down from above and attack me and suck my brain out of my ears!" "You silly, girl!" "Of course there is no such thing as giant butterflies in Brazil or..." "Ouch." "Yolanda, you know, I know many stories about Brazil." " Wanna hear one?" " No." " But it is about a princess." " But there are no princesses in Brazil." "Yes, yes, Yolanda, but Brazil had princesses some time ago." " Was she an indian princess?" " No, she was Spanish." "and she was your age when she left Spain to get married." " She was ten?" "!" " Yeah, she was ten years old, poor little thing." "And her name was Carlota Joaquina and she danced really well, Yolanda." "And she had this impossible temper, just like you." "And her mother was incredible..." "Maria Luiza de Parma." "Italian blood and this huge sexual appetite... which invaded the court of king Carlos III of Spain." "Maria Luiza was also famous... for wearing pearls in place of her rotten teeth." "And that night was really important for Carlota..." "Why?" "Well, because it was her last party in Spain." "Her marriage had been arranged... she was leaving to be wed to a Portuguese prince." "And because of that she had to go through a test in front of the court." "Everybody was gathered to watch Carlota dance with such grace." "She would never know that happiness again, Yolanda." "It was the moment of calm before the storm... that would sweep many of the monarchies of Europe." "Within a few years, royal heads would be chopped off... by the new spirit of Liberalism." "The Old World of Absolute Monarchy was drawing to an end... and no one came to signify that end more... than Carlota Joaquina." "Carlota, my child, each day you dance better." "I believe you won't need to do any test in the Portuguese court." " Do you believe so, dear mother?" " Of course, my daughter!" "Enough, Carlota, shut up!" "The paint is the only thing left." "Go back to your place!" "Please, infanta Carlota, who was Velázquez?" "Diego Velázquez was born in Sevilha in 1599... got married in 1618, graduated as master-painter in 1623..." "Carlota knew everything." "She knew about Velázquez, she knew about Cervantes... the Bilble back to front." "The court was most impressed before such prodigy." "Mother, I would like to have a picture just like infanta Margarida's... but with a red dress, which is much more beautiful." " One day you will have a picture like this." " Before I go to Portugal, mother?" "Sure, sure." "Before you go." " So, let us party!" " Go, go, music!" "Your Highness!" "Your Highness, please!" "Your Highness, I have with me the picture of the infante... and the signed contract to give them the Infanta." "But first, I would like to congratulate the Infanta for your brilliant performance." "Carlota learns fast, Mr. Marquis." "Sometimes, her fastness is dangerous." "Wait, Carlota..." " Won't you open it?" " Grandpa, I would like to open it alone, please." "It's okay." "Goodnight, darling." "Goodnight, grandpa." "Goodnight, Mr. Marquis." "Goodnight." "And, once again, congratulations, infanta." "Very well, Mr. Marquis." "Carlota will leave on April 27, as agreed." "How about the health of the infante?" "Is he better from the measles?" "He is, your Highness, he is." "But he got sick again... and, according to the letter I received, he resorted to bloodletting for the fourth time." "For the fourth time?" "!" "It seems to me, Mr. Marquis, that the infante's health is not very good." "Don't worry, your Highness... 4 or 5 bloodletting in Portugal mean 1 in Spain." "Don't you think, Mr. Marquis, that this is dangerous?" "Your Highness knows that I'm Portuguese and I know Spain." "And it is exactly like that." "We, the Portuguese people, do 4 to 5..." "The Spanish people..." "do only one." "Very well, Mr. Marquis..." "I hope you keep me informed of the health of the infante." "Goodnight and enjoy the party." "Thank you very much, your Highness, and goodnight." "Do you think I'm ugly, Francisca?" "Of course not, infanta." "Moreover, you are so intelligent!" "You were brilliant with your answers before the court." "I'm not talking about intelligence, Francisca." "I'm asking you about beauty." "Tell me, Francisca, who is prettier... me, or infanta Margarida?" "I don't remember very well the picture of infanta Margarida." "I've never payed much attention to that picture." "Oh, no?" "So let us see it right now." "I want you to answer me!" "Ugly?" "But was she ugly?" "Ugly?" "She was well known as the ugliest infante in Europa." "Think well about what you will answer me, Francisca." "The infanta could punish me for my answer?" "Of course, Francisca!" "If it displeases me, I can have all your bones to be broken... and later, when you are almost dead, you won't have... dessert for many days." "Of course you are the most beautiful, infanta!" "You are lucky to be clever, Francisca." "But, regardless... when my picture is painted, I'll order the painter... to make me even more beautiful than infanta Margarida." "Let us go, infanta!" "I'm going, infanta... and I will marry a beautiful prince in Portugal." "Infanta Carlota, let us go." "Everyone is ready." "Goodbye, infanta Margarida, goodbye." "I'm ready." "I'm ready." "But, dear mother... when are they painting my picture with the red dress?" "Don't worry about this now." "Think of your husband." "Quick, Carlota!" "Everyone is ready, go!" "Goodbye, my darling, goodbye." "Don't you ever forget you are a Bourbon." "I won't forget, grandpa..." "I will never forget." "Francisca, did you see the new shoes mom had me done?" "Now I have one for each day of the year!" "Yes, infanta." "It was a long journey." "Carlota e Francisca set out from Madri... and went west through Toledo and Badajós... and then continued down to the frontier of Olivença and Évora... where the Portuguese and Spanish world separated." "Look, Francisca, the prince looks very handsome." " Don't you think?" " Very handsome, infanta, very handsome." " Why did we stop?" " Madam, the infanto is expecting." " Do I look good, Francisca?" "Do I look good?" " Wonderful!" "Welcome to the Kingdom of Portugal, infanta." "Thank you very much." "Did you do a good trip?" "Yes, yes, I came singing with Francisca... and, besides, I was greeted a lot along the way." "Do you need anything?" "No." "We may continue the journey." "Is it far?" "No, no." "Only half a league." "If you excuse me, I'll be going." "Francisca, the infante is completely different!" "What a big nose!" "Don't worry about this now, infanta." "Don't worry." "Grandpa, I want to go home." "Oh, Mother of God!" "Look how beautiful!" "How beautiful are your presents, infanta!" "Look at this!" "Yes, it is true, Francisca." "Mainly the pony." "Damn, Francisca!" "Have you seen how short is the queen's black dwarf?" "No, she is not that short." "You have almost the same height!" "Fuck, Francisca!" "If you say that again, I'll have the dwarf break all your bones!" "Forgive me, infanta, I had the wrong impression." "I did not pay enough attention." "It is okay, Francisca, I forgive you only because your slip was very small." " Thank you." " Help me, Francisca, help me!" "Presents, lots of presents." "Every noble family in the land sent jewels, gold and silk... to welcome the new infanta." "But when Carlota looked around, she discovered that the Portuguese court... was different from the Spanish court." "Everything seemed to be quiet and sad." "No one danced, no one spoke or laughed." "They'd just chew their strange food." "They seemed to be whispering all the time." "And they whispered because their king was dying." "So the court despairingly needed to marry someone to their heir Dom José... and the only person available was Dona Maria's sister..." "Maria Benedita, who was just 20 years older than him." "Poor sickly Dom José..." "So, two weddings were held at the same time." "In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, amen." "So, if mom said so, you'd have to marry me?" "Marry you, you skinny little thing!" "?" "No way!" "I don't think the man's been born yet who is gonna marry you!" "Anyway, you are a pain as well." "Look, just sit up and listen to the story." "What you don't know is that Carlota got to her wedding night... with no idea of what was supposed to happen." " Nobody told her?" " Nobody told..." "Yes, and I suppose you know exactly what goes on a wedding night, Yolanda?" "Of course!" "The man introduces his penis into the vagina of the woman." "Yes, Yolanda, yes, yes, exactly." "That's exactly what is supposed to go on." "Anyway, so, that night, when all of this was supposed to happen... it didn't." "Instead, what happened was she bit a piece of his ear." "Ai, Jesus!" "João!" "Help!" "Help!" "Help!" "My God!" "This girl is the devil." "Help him!" "Help the infanto!" "Are you okay, infanta?" " Next time, I will kill him." " Infanta, he is your husband." "I know, but if he tries it again, he will be my dead husband." " But was he a pervert?" " Dom João a pervert?" "On the contrary, he was more lady like, so chubby and sweet." "He'd spend all his days gazing at flowers... and praying or thinking about food." "He never got a good education like his brother... who was supposed to be the next king." "But fate, however, was going to change everything." "Dark clouds covered the skies of Portugal." "The king Dom Pedro III died, and so did Dom José." "And because of that Dom João was going to be the next king." "But for queen Maria I it was all too much." "She sank deep into the pressure after the deaths of her husband and her beloved son." "And since then was known as Mad Maria I." "She was very religious and weak-willed." "And the fate of her country and all her dominions was left to her... confessors and the Church." "And because of them... she spent lots of money building churches and... financing uncountable processions." "And you know, Yolanda, what she did to pay off her debts with God?" "She would wash the feet of the poor beggars... trying to overcome her feeling of guilty." "Ai, Jesus!" "Ai, Jesus!" "I failed them!" "I failed them!" "Easy, my lady, easy!" "The devil is gone already." "Francisca, take the guitar, I'm going to sing for the queen." "What is going on here!" "?" "Stop the music!" "The queen is sick." "I'm okay here." "I know he is there." " I went away and he is there." " Don't worry, your Highness." "I will be by your side all the time." "And I won't allow him to take you." "Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name." "Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth, as it is in heaven." "Give us this day our daily bread..." "Fuck it, Francisca!" "We shall finish the music... because good music is not meant stopped." "And the years went by just like that." "Carlota turned into a woman." "A lame one, after she fell of a horse, but, anyway, time came to... consumate her marriage with João." " Poor thing!" " Don't pity her." "She was happy." "She was a woman then with big breasts and a body on fire." "João, bastard, will you sleep instead of kissing me?" "Are you sure that is really what you want, Carlota?" "Carlota was a dragon." "She had lots of lovers, lots of them..." "And she could eat any one of them like a crazy monster!" "Because of her lovers, many were Carlota's children... and not so many Dom João's." "The first one, Maria Teresa... was surely his, and was his favorite for all his life." "Nine babies?" "Yeah, nine." "And one her most famous cases... was with the gardner of the Quinta do Ramalhão... who she prefered to see dead than married." "You won't get married!" "You won't get married!" "A council of doctors had declared the queen was mad." "Ai, Jesus!" "The queen is mad!" " The queen is mad!" " The queen is mad!" "Dom João was a coward." "He panicked when he realized he was going to be prince regent." "He locked himself up until he found the strength... to assume the regency of Portugal." "But if the ideas of the French Revolution have already reached the colonies... consider the case of conspiracy by the officers in Minas Gerais, there must be many more... like Tiradentes conspiring against you at this moment." "It is better that the court be in the colony... to prevent any movement of independence." "Afterall, Brazil is much richer and larger than Portugal." "I think that the court should go to Brazil." "My dear lord, don't worry." "I have already taken some actions regarding the colony and I did it with violence." "Tiradentes has been taken care of and will certainly be an example... for anyone that was willing to follow him." "Besides... any kind of printing is forbidden in Brazil... and books leaving from Portugal are being seriously selected." "I would also like to remind your Majesty that... the council I give you comes from London." "It's good that you are here, João." "It's good!" "I came to say that I will not go to Brazil." "I will not go!" "I know that you want to take me there..." "But I will not go!" "I will not go!" "I will not go!" "I have said that I will not go to Brazil." " Calm down, Maria, calm down." " Get off me!" "Get off me, you!" "I will not go!" "Look at the animals... that walk through the streets of Brazil." "They will devour the children." "To Brazil I will not go!" "I will not go!" "Get off me!" "Ai, Jesus!" "Ai, Jesus!" "Ai, Jesus!" "João, if you are considering it, or if it was imposed... we moving to Brazil, I warn you that you will go without me!" "I will never be the princess of Brazil!" " Did she spit on him?" " Yes, my sweet." "She spat on him good and strong." "And who was the English man?" "That was the man chosen by the British to torment... the fearful Portuguese king." "Lord Stangford." "A minister with fire in his hair and in his character." "And then, Napoleon began to show his claws." "Your Royal Highness, before these events... must choose between the Continent and the Islanders..." "If your Highness decides irreversibly for the public interest..." "I will ensure to you the preservation of your power." "But if, contradicting my hopes... your Highness places trust in my enemies... it would only be left for me to leave at the mercy of events... the decision on the most important concerns." "Your brother and cousin, Napoleon." "Brother and cousin?" "Please, majesty, France or England!" "?" "Dear minister, Marquis de Belas... when we don't know exactly what to do... it's best to do nothing." "So, dear ministers, I ask you to reflect on the subject." "Can you believe, Yolanda, that it took Dom João... 20 days to write a letter to Napoleon?" "He was in a tight spot, not knowing what to do." "You see, England was the great enemy of Napoleon's imperial dream." "So he wanted an alliance with the rest of the countries on the continent... in order to isolate the great island and watch it sink." "And how was he to do this?" "By not letting England... have commercial relations with any other country." "But Portugal was already dominated by the English... and Dom João ended up with another big problem in his little fat hands..." "How to please his enemies and allies at the same time?" "England gave the solution." "And you really believe we will be able to fool Napoleon?" "Certainly." "To all effects, the Portuguese will be expelling the English... and confiscating their goods." "But no one will know... that your Highness had secretly payed them to do this." "And Dom João, thinking himself very smart, obeyed England." "Show what is in the bag to the ministers..." "I want to make sure it is enough to present the emperor." "We cannot rely on the Portuguese." "They are much attracted to France and may betray us." "You better tell the good news to the king at once." "FRANCE AND SPAIN SHARE PORTUGAL" "The order is: either we take the royal family to Brazil immediately... or we destroy the Portuguese fleet to let not the French make use of it." "They must be crossing the Portuguese border right now." "Was it for this you have been locked with your ministers all these days?" "For deciding to run?" "Bullshit!" "Let us stay and face Napoleon!" "Who?" "Who do you respect?" "A nobody that the French, after killing..." "Maria Antonieta, decided to call emperor." "Son of a bitch!" "To me, the French voting is worth nothing, nothing, nothing!" "I don't give a shit for the French." "I don't give a shit for Napoleon!" "Do you want to be known as the fleeing king?" "Is that it?" "I'd rather be known as fleeing king than dead king." "Thank God I have few children with your blood." "Don't you ever get tired of hurting me, Carlota?" "I'm not hurting you, I'm just telling the truth." "The Royal Family decided to leave in 48 hours." "And then it started to rain." "It was as if the world had ended." "I feel like God is telling that I shouldn't leave Portugal." " The skies are falling over our heads." " But, my lord... the treasure has already been boarded as you designated." "The ships are almost ready." "It is safer if your Highness is in a ship." "The French are on their way." "God knows your soul is pure and that you took the wisest decision." "I won't go." "To Brazil I won't go." "Not since the Lisbon earthquake had the city known such pandemonium." "The people on the streets went mad." "They wanted to go along with their king, but there weren't enough ships." "I'm here with you." "Dom João was so afraid of the thunder... that he was blindfolded on his way to the boat." "And he left his people without so much as a word." "So people were left shouting and running around." "It was a nightmare, Yolanda, a terrible nightmare." "They packed away the Royal Library manuscripts... silver, gold, so many things... that they forgot most of their luggage, their clothes, and their food... and the little black dwarf, crying completely abandoned... like all the rest of the Portuguese people." "When the guns of Napoleon's armies could be heard in Lisbon... the Royal Family was on its way to the richest colony of all... the land of precious woods, and gold, and diamonds..." "Brazil!" "And how many ran away?" "Many... maybe 15 thousand." "There were 36 ships in all... ranging from warships to merchant ships, brigantines... and the British fleet, captained by admiral sir Sidney Smith." "But because of the tempests, the wind, the lack of wind... the ships got lost from each other and arrived in Brazil at different times." "Son of a bitch!" "The first members of the Monarchy that crossed the Atlantic really had a hard time." "No food, no water, and this big round sun... over their heads full of lice." "Please, don't talk about lice!" "But, Yolanda, Carlota got to Brazil and her head was all bandaged up because of lice and people thought she was starting some kind of new fashion from Europe." " Really?" " Yeah, and three months later..." "Land hoe!" "They arrived in Bahia." "Carlota detested the country the moment she set foot on it." "Maybe because she didn't like black people." "Dom João, on the other hand... seemed intrigued by the racial mixture that he found there." "But, as she wouldn't stay in Bahia, they sailed straight to Rio de Janeiro... where people were anxiously waiting for them." "And the indians where waiting for them?" "Many indians, many Europeans, lots of Africans... some Chinese and probably even two or three Scots." "Even so, Carlota was going to find among them... the greatest love of her life:" "Fernando Carneiro Leão... a beautiful and rich black man." "Everybody was merrily waiting for the court." "The city was decorated with rugs and flowers." "Daddy!" "The princess!" "The princess is coming!" "Where are the tissues for the window?" "The princess is coming and our window will be the only one without tissues." "Look, mommy!" "The princess has short hair and has a white cap." "Come on, kids, let's take a closer look at the prince." "Come on!" "You bunch of fools!" "Don't you see they came here only so they could steal from us more closely?" "!" "And what to do with all the unexpected people who came along with the Royal Family?" "There were no available places, Yolanda." "No hotels, or motels, or anything." "So the royal police found a way..." "This house has been requested by the prince regent to accommodate the court." "You have 24 hours to leave the house, taking only the family's objects of personal use with you." "Did you hear that, Maria do Céu?" "The prince wants our home!" "Oh, thank God!" "This house had the honor of being chosen by the prince regent to accommodate the court." "You have 24 hours to leave the house, taking only the family's objects of personal use with you." "Is that all that was in the English ships?" "The rest will be brought here tomorrow." " Do you speak Spanish, captain?" " A little." "How do you like the house?" "I've never been in such a poor house." "My God!" "But look at the view, princess!" "For a country of monkeys, black and indians... the view is not the worst!" "What is this?" "What is this!" "?" "Don't worry, your Highness." "I shall kill them." "I won't stay here, mom!" "Correia, take the things out of the mule at once." "Come on!" "It is not that bad, right?" "We just do a little cleaning, right, daddy?" "Put a few little curtains over there." "It is gonna be as merry as our other house." "It is true." "Chubby, come here, chubby." "Look such beautiful thing." "Ai, Jesus!" "That's it!" "The second "leave the house" of the day." "Oh, Dom João, make yourself at home." "Be our guest." "But this is not a chicken, this is a sick fowl." " I want this fat one." " Those are for the royal chicken coop." "But it is for a chicken soup for my dad." "He is sick." "I pay more." "I can't." "They belong to the king until the end of the year." "Alright." "So give me this pity one." "God forbid!" "Must be a sin to kill a little animal like this." "Wait!" "Wait!" "Will the king eat all this?" "You could sell me one." "My daddy is sick." "Okay, okay." "I'll sell you this one for ten." "Ten?" "!" "But chickens have always costed three." "I was doing you a favor." "If you don't want it, fine!" "One more for the king." "Come on, move." "And that's how it was for the Brazilian people." "homeless, foodless, and the economical confusion started." "The merchants took advantage of the situation." "The prices went sky high, so high that the Brazilians could hardly afford them." "And to make things worst, Yolanda, the people on the streets... had to learn how to behave properly in the presence of a princess." "Kneel!" "Kneel!" "Meanwhile, in that searing heat in the middle of the jungle..." "Dom João and his ministers ploted what to do... with all the Brazilian natural riches." "But that didn't seem enough." "No, Yolanda, not for the English crown." "Lorde Stangford, with orders from above, also wanted the provinces of La Plata." "You see, Yolanda, England was always on the look out for new territories." "If we can expand our territory in twice the lands were taken from me... we will have a new world in our hands!" " Of course." " Very good." "I will talk immediately with princess Carlota." "She needs advice." "Majesty, allow me." "The expenses we have been having here... even with the taxes, are too large, and the money we brought from Portugal will end." "Your Highness, allow me, like you did with the lord..." "Why don't you found a bank?" "Great idea!" "Great idea!" "Nothing better than a bank to make money." "Look for the 20 richest men of Rio de Janeiro... and tell them the prince will found a bank." "Bank of the United Kingdom of Portugal and Brazil." "Bank of the United Kingdom of Portugal, Brazil and Algarves." "Bank Dom João!" " Perfect!" " Good!" "Bank of Brazil!" " Bank of Brazil!" " Marvelous!" " Wanna a fudge?" " Sure." "Did Brazilian people use golden bars to pay for things in the street?" "Yeah, of course, they used golden bars, they even used gold powder." "You see, Brazil was very rich in gold at that time... and Dom João, well aware of this fact, wanted it all in his pockets." "So he founded the Bank of Brazil... which he later almost broke when he left Brazil, the poor bank." "Can we leave?" "Yes, Majesty." "The rest of the cargo is on its way to the ships." "It was a strange way to leave the country that he said he loved." "So what happened to the Brazilian gold?" "Well, Portugal and England split it fifty fifty." "But forget about that." "Look..." "Carlota was completly in love with the English captain... and she went on and on." "Your Highness!" " What do you want, Felisbindo?" " Message from the king!" "Prepare the horse." "Thank you." "This meeting won't be very useful." "I would never do anything against my family." "The provinces of Plata are Spanish." "Lord, explain everything to Carlota." "She is too grumpy!" "Princess, this is something much greater than an offense to your family." "by the contrary, it is a way of defending your family and the Iberian interests... from the claws of Napoleon, who I'm sure will be soon... in the Americas." "This is the first time that an English proposal seems interesting to me." "But who is this man that can hear our secret plans?" "This is José Presas, recently returned from La Plata." "This is the person we think most suited to assist your Majesty in writing your manifest... presenting your Royal Highness to the Spanish people and indeed to the Universe... as the heir to the Spanish Crown, in the absence of your brothers." "Your Highness." "A Spanish, finally!" "It seems that the tropical heat did you good, Lord Stangford." "For this end you may use the registry of Rio de Janeiro... which is closed, but may be used still." "Queen." "I shall be queen of the Plata!" "In Brazil, Dom João gave away more titles of nobility... than the whole Portuguese dynasty in all its history." "At that time, almost everybody had a title." "That being the only way Dom João could afford the services rendered to him." "Because of your help and dedication to the crown..." "You are now the royal cartographer, with the title of Viscount of Pig Killing." "We receive this title with great honor, Majesty." "Mr. Correia, which contributed to the manifests leaving on time." "And this is his charming wife, Dona Custódia." "Sir, I think I found the perfect place for your hunt." "Sir, there are so many birds here... that one will land on your sight for sure!" "Great, Lobato." "I would like to be under that tree." "Do as he wishes!" "Your Highness would like me to stay?" "Or do that investigation you asked?" "Go, Lobato." "Go and pay attention." "And tell the slaves to stay far so they won't bother me." "Dom João felt uncomfortable with the idea of Carlota having any power... and with the idea of her having a friendship with that English admiral." "I'm doing fine!" "That is the second already." "Princess!" "Is this how you greet me now?" "Not even a kiss, my captain?" "I'm awfully sorry, your Highness, but I don't understand it very well." "The prince wants to have a serious conversation with you." "Your Highness, I can explain everything." "Please, captain, just listen." "For your services, which were a great help to our escape... the prince endorses you with a farm in Santa Luzia beach." "The prince was very smart in his own way." "Making gifts was his way of keeping off Carlota's lovers." "What the hell!" "What's wrong with fucking João?" " What is it, princess?" " Look, look!" "My dear and lovely wife..." "Unfortunately, I do not have enough resources to help you in the matter of Plata." "Your beloved husband, that loves you very much, João." "Son of a bitch!" "What will I do, Presas?" "I know this shit prince very well." "When it comes to politics and business, he has two faces." "He is learning with the English!" "Remember, the English are interested in the silver market." "The princess should do as queen Isabel de Castela... and donate your jewelry to the cause of Plata... as she did to conquer America." "Nobody would buy those jewels." "Dom João had given orders to all dealers in Rio not to accept them." "I'm afraid I don't have enough to buy them." "But, Viscount, you are known... for being the richest among the rich here." "I'm sorry, princess, but there is nothing I can do." "But a ship arrived from Spain with good news for Carlota." "My dear mother, I miss you so much!" "She never forgot of my shoes." "Now I have new shoes for each day of the year." "I can peacefully use them in the horrible streets of Brazil." "Victory, princess!" "The courts of Cádiz recognize your right to the crown." "I don't believe it!" "Bitch!" "Good winds brought this Spanish ship to Brazil!" "Now I have my shoes and my crown." "Fuck them!" "I am the queen of the Plata!" "João, we did it!" "The courts have recognized me... as the legitimate heir to the throne of the Plata!" "This is no longer interesting to Portugal, after so many years." "Son of a bitch!" "You are not serious." "We have no money to expand there." "Besides, I have been thinking and I don't want you to move to Buenos Aires with my kids!" "Your kids?" "Very well, João!" "You have four kids, I will go with the other five!" "So tell the courts of Cádiz, friends of Portugal... that you want to break up with me, breaking our agreement." "Let's see if we can keep your regency in Plata without Portugal." "Shit!" "And that ended her dream of being Queen of La Plata." "What are you saying?" "The prince ordered me to leave today for Canárias." "Son of a bitch!" "João knows well how to hit me." "What a coward, what a traitor." "That filthy João!" "We need to do something." "Help me, Presas." "I worked all these years without receiving." "I don't have much to return to Spain." " It would be nice of the princess to give me some money." " What do you mean?" "João never gave you nothing?" "What a rat!" "I can't give you much too, Presas." "You know better than anyone that the money I get is ridiculous." "Every princess get at least twice!" "Yes, Presas, twice." "Come on, nigger." "I can't even afford my expenses, Presas." "I own the dressmaker three dresses..." "I own the jeweler the bright sword of Sydney Smith... even the butcher!" "Dom João was notoriously tightfisted." "And more famous were Carlota's debts around Rio de Janeiro." "When the time came for Presas to leave for Spain..." "Carlota had nothing to give him, but a letter... instructing her family to welcome and pay him." "But that was of no use." "Presas never got his reward." "And later, in revange, he wrote a book called:" ""The Secret Memoirs of Carlota Joaquina"... disclosing sordid details of her private life." "And then, all of a sudden... she met Fernando Carneiro Leão... her last and greatest love." "You see, Yolanda, she was beginning to realize how interesting racial mixture could be." "You see, Fernando, I never liked black people, I don't know why, I was afraid." "I could stand one or two, but lots together, never!" "So now you would live with me at the slave quarters?" " Yes, sure." " Would you have children with me?" "Children?" "I already have so many and so different." "You are only lacking a black childreen." "It is true." "And fool João wouldn't even notice." "Fernando, my love..." "I new they had power!" "Need something, lady?" "I'm sorry, but the flowers are so beautiful." "I don't know if your Highness know it, but..." "Getting red roses in Brazil means ethernal love and immortal desire." "Oh, and if someday you get a small fruit called "cajá"... it means come immediately." "How interesting." "You were recommended by Presas, a good friend." "I believe we will get along very well." "Do you understand what I say?" "Of course, princess!" "I understand everything!" "Don't worry!" "Thank God!" "It has been long since I need to know... the customs of this city." "So, let's go?" "It is too hot." "I will take a sea bath." "Your Highness will take a sea bath?" "People were astonished at Carlota, because nobody had ever... used the ocean to take a bath, only the indians did that." "That's it, Viscountess of Pig Killing." "My son did nothing, I swear." "And he is there, in that cell, along with the worst of the thieves." "Well, I'll try, but I can't guarantee anything, right?" "I will give everything I have to see my son out of the prison." "Well, you know, I'll go to Passo today." "I will speak personally with the Queen, you know?" "I have already solved more difficult problems than this, ok?" "Thank you very much!" "So..." "That means I can wait for news from you, Viscountess of Pig Killing?" "Yes, you can." "Stay calm, stay calm." "Selling royal favors again?" "!" "What do you want me to do, dad?" "What do you want me to do?" "!" "How will I make money?" "I work for a queen that has nowhere to drop dead." "Not even the Spanish she payed." "She won't pay me." "And now, my dad, I'm a viscountess." "I can no longer wash and cook to make money." "I ran from Portugal so I would have a king." "And now this fat comes." "Came floating to here." "Listen, daddy." "Listen very well what I'm going to say!" "You'd better buy a very beautiful jewelry..." "So that when you are in the dungeons I will want to take you out of there!" "You keep saying these things, if someone hears, you will be arrested." "Me and all the colony!" "And that was the way the new nobles of Brazil made a living... by selling royal favors." "Dona Maria, the old queen, was getting worst and worst." "She'd spent her time in Brazil completely isolated... except for some promenades along the Bay of Guanabara... always surrounded by the indians." "The moment was drawing close when Dom João would be king." "Come on, leave." "Please, leave." "Come on." "Take her to the convent." "Tomorrow I will see." "Come, sir." "Let us go." "The queen is dead indeed." "Fernando..." "How are you, Mr. Carneiro Leão?" "I'll see you at the hall above." "Ai, Fernando, ai, Fernando, I miss you so much!" "I need you so much!" "Do you want me to do something, your Highness?" "Did you forget about my kisses?" "About what my mouth does on your body?" "I will never forget your kisses." "Then kiss me." "My dear Fernando, because of your dedication to our house... and because of your notorious talent for management..." "I decided to nominate you president of the Bank of Brazil." "Majesty, it is a great honor!" "I don't believe I deserve it!" "Yes, you deserve it." "I believe it will benefit us all." "The weather at this time of the year is very good." "Very good." "Maria Teresa, my daughter, I shall stop a moment to poop." "Of course, my dad, take your time." "Antonio!" " Antonio!" " Yes?" "I need to stop to poop." "The king will poop!" "Indeed, the flag is beautiful." "My dad, I think you need a new cloth." " For your coronation." " But why new cloth... if I barely used this one I brought from Portugal?" "Besides, with this searing heat..." " Please..." " Maria Teresa..." "You would look so handsome." "You prepared everything and forgot of you." "Imagine the mantle you will order." "A new uniform..." "After all, it will be your coronation." "Fine, Maria Teresa, fine." "I'll order this cloth, or you and Lobato won't leave me in peace." "Antonio, I'm done!" "Bring lunch!" "Immigrants arrive nonstop during this historical moment in Brazil." "Even a French cultural mission was hired to document the coronation of João." "And where are the actresses?" "I don't know about the actresses, but it is said that lots of French prostitutes... just arrived in a ship from France." "Where is Napoleon's route, dear brother?" "We may taste French prostitutes in Paris." " You are crazy to go back to Europe, aren't you?" " Sure!" "And aren't you?" "You know I like it here." "Besides, the French from here are better than the ones from there." "You that the Tropics only do good to women, Miguel... being so hot they get rid of their clothes easily." "Enough, Pedro, enough." "Let us go straight to our French mission..." "Before Leopoldina of Habsburgo arrives." "Someday you will have to marry like this too, Miguel!" " Don't forget it!" " Calm, Pedro." "Don't be mad at me." "You know I don't want to think about this!" "Let me live, Miguel!" "Pedro was epileptic, but he was just like his mother... he loved sex... and his appetite was famous all over town." "All kinds of women pleased his taste... the French, the Polish, negresses the indians." "One of his most famous love affairs was with..." "Noemi, a French singer, his first great passion." "Don't get me wrong, but Pedro shall marry archduchess Leopoldina." "But we won't leave you helpless." "You will leave for Pernambuco today... where you will marry the most handsome of my officers." "A diamond necklace for the baby's crib... and 12 thousand contos de réis." "Lobato, let's get this over with this!" "Mademoiselle, please, there is nothing the king can do!" "Leopoldina was Dom João's package from Austria for Pedro." "She was intelligente and noble, but nothing like his taste." " Your Highness?" " Where is Noemi?" "She left today to Pernambuco." "King's orders, sir." "Your Highness!" "Calm down, don't be nervous!" "Help me, please!" "And Dom João became king." "And his domestic problems were apparently solved... as Pedro got married to Leopoldina and Carlota was left without her lover." "But how ugly I look!" "I don't like the colors." "Now let us see the one at the plaza." "But there was not that many people, I'm sure." "Carlota, my God!" "You always see flaws in everything!" "Who is this pretty lady behind our mother, Miguel?" "Pedro, it impossible to see even our mother." "The problem is that Debret is not Velázquez, Miguel." "He can't understand Portuguese." "Majesty!" "A gift, majesty!" "Oh, a gift!" "So open it, Lombardo!" " Yes, and there is a letter here." " Oh, a letter!" "So read it, Lombardo!" "Here it is the fruit of love that your Highness killed." "Noemi." "My God!" "It is a dead baby!" "You know, Yolanda, the most terrible thing is that Dom Pedro kept the embalmed baby... in his office for years." "So, Pedro... will the constitution be signed or not?" "!" "Is the king playing a fool or taking us as fools?" "!" "Calm down." "My dad will sign the constitution." " Yeah, but when?" "When?" "!" "When?" "!" " Soon, sir!" " I'm tired of waiting." " Down with Braganças!" " Viva o Brazil!" " Viva!" "Viva!" "To honor what I say..." "To honor what I say, I'll bring my dad now... king of Portugal, Brazil and Algarves, to sign the constitution." " Viva o Brazil!" " Viva!" "Viva!" "Viva!" "Look, you're sleeping already, aren't you?" "Come on, let's go in it, it's time to go." " No, no, I was listening." " Sure you were, I bet." " What is that constitution stuff?" " So maybe you were listening, alright." "The Monarchy was over, Yolanda, so they had to sign this piece of paper... which gave men their supposed rights." "That is what constitution is supposed to mean." "And for his help in that movement for the constitution..." "Brazilian people began to love and respect Dom Pedro." "And he really became a hero... when a year later he declared the independence." "Bastard." "Lady!" "Lady!" "Did you find him?" "I didn't find him, no." "Shit!" "Shit!" "Without Fernando she was suffering a lot." "But what was worst, Yolanda, was what happened to her face." "Hairs?" "You mean she looked in the mirror... and her face was full of hairs?" "Poor Carlota!" "I would scream till I was dead." "Well, of course it wasn't like that from the beginning, was it, Yolanda?" "But... you know how any little hair on a woman's face can be a problem." "Well, maybe you don't." "Yet." " Come on, shut up!" " Would you look... what happened then was, after Carlota went completely crazy..." "I'm sorry to tell, but in hot and humid countries... these hormonal disturbances are common." "We could try a series of Emetics, but I don't know..." "Emetics?" "What do you mean?" "That I will have hair on my face for the rest of my life?" "God!" "Then to solve her problems..." "Carlota really got into the Brazilian culture" "It seemed the macumba had worked." "Fernando appeared somehow." "Thank you!" "Thank you, lord!" "Do I look better like this?" "No, Felisbindo, I want him to wait." "Your Highness called me?" ""Your Highness"?" "!" "Is this how you call me know?" "Before I was your Carlotita, your Lola." "Before your Majesty was not queen." " I am the same, Fernando!" " That is not true." "Yes, it's me... me, that loves you so much." "Your Majesty is the king's wife, my lord... to whom I am bound by oath, occupying a position of trust!" "I own him respect!" "Bastard!" "What about me?" "Don't you own me nothing?" "Carlota, I was hoping you would save us from this." "Our current position require a different behavior." "You have obligations too!" "You don't love me anymore?" "You don't love me anymore!" " I feel that." " I never said so." "Son of a bitch!" "You worry about the king, the people, the money." "How about our love?" "You only care for power, Fernando!" "Am I not right?" "Excuse me." "Fernando!" "I can't live without you!" " I can't." " Please, Carlota." "Let's finish this!" "Gertrudes!" "How dare you invade the queen's chambers?" "!" "I don't see a queen." "I see an evil and... unscrupulous woman that wants to steal my husband!" "Guards!" "Felisbindo, call the guards!" "Do you care that much, Fernando?" "Motherfucker!" "Get out of here!" "Go away before I have you flogged." "Look at her, my dear." "Look and tell me... what could have seduced you." "She doesn't have beauty nor youth." "Even less majesty." "Take a good look at her, and compare us both." "Is this why I came?" "Mulata!" "Slut!" "Wicked Carioca!" "Cow!" "You will pay me!" "I swear!" "I will have all your... bones broken!" "I didn't kill." "I swear." "Did you see who did it?" "Yes, sir." "Did you say you would kill me if I came for Fernando?" "I said and I will do so." "Your Majesty is proving herself to be a crowned gypsy." "Felisbindo, mercilessly whip this slut mulata!" "With the gun in my hand, I said to the queen:" ""Do you want me to shoot, lady?"" "I shall see your daughters in a whorehouse!" "And then, Mr intendant, the queen quickly... took the gun from my hand and shot." "And yelled: "Get out of here, all of you!"" "We got out, and now I'm here before you, Mr intendant." "And this is the story in the case files, Majesty." "I'll leave them here for your consideration." "Excuse me." "As for the mentioned man... is still in prison for whatever may be your royal decision." "Excuse me." "Oh, my God!" "What a disgrace!" "Did you say you would kill me if I came for Fernando?" "I brought food for your Majesty!" "I was able to..." " Get out of here!" "Dom João burned the papers which accused Carlota of the murder." "And that wasn't all." "His position was being threatened in Europe." "Portugal was demanding the King's return." "Oh, dad, I would like you to let me stay." "Everybody likes me here." "I feel I have a lot to do." "My son... you are Portuguese like me." "Portugal will welcome you." "Besides, I already feel old and tired... and with the Constitution signed..." "I will need you for the bad times ahead." "It won't be worst than in Brazil, my dad." "If I stay in Brazil, your Highness will always be sure to own these lands." "You are right my son." "It's better that Brazil stays in your hands... than with some adventurer that will give up the crown... and make it independent." "And it was sad for Dom João to leave Brazil." "He would never see his beautiful palm trees grow in the... magnificent Botanical Gardens he founded and which were his passion." "Besides, Brazil was the place where he became a king... a real one... because in Portugal he was considered as an infante... who, by chance, got the crown." "And his last words were, Yolanda," "Beloved land, I shall still take much more." "And what happened to Carlota?" "When Carlota got back to Portugal she was extremely happy." "Thank God!" "From this land I not even want the dust." "She was happy because she thought that in Europe... her problems would be magically solved." "But, Yolanda, she was terribly wrong." "When she arrived in Portugal... she wanted to see her beloved son Miguel, wildly known as a bastard... as the king, betraying Dom João." "So she was exiled for 9 long years to her old palace in ruins... the Quinta do Ramalhão." "Insane and miserable, and deserted by their children... she finally killed herself." "Yes, it is true." "It is true." "I killed." "I killed the gadner." "I killed Gertrudes... but not João, not João." "I didn't kill João!" "Forgive me, lord." "Forgive me." "Dom João died in the middle of a chicken soup." "Some people say it was poisoned... and Carlota ploted everything." " Did she really?" " Who knows, Yolanda?" "Who knows?" "The problem with history, as you see, the more you read, the less you know." "So everyone has a different version for one given situation." "There is your answer: "who knows?" Come on!" "Come on!" "Out of the way!"