"Rise, up soldiers, on to battle, to defend freedom so saint full," "Cannon thunder and sword rattle," "Motivation for Magyar's in battle." "THE BATTLE FOR MOHACS" "A FILM BY:" " Where to, where to dear husband?" " I'm going to battle, the Turk waits on the plains of Mohacs, he shouldn'twait in vain." " On wide and dusty roads..." " the horse kicks up dust..." " with a shining, a sparkling..." " a polished steel horse shoe." " Good day!" " Respect." "ID, drivers licence and registration please!" " Is the car yours?" " Yes, it's my car." " Haven't I seen you before... somewhere?" " I saw you on the TV." " How much?" " 100." "In dollars." "I see it's going well." "Going very well." "There is no music in the historical part of town, ok?" "Be quiet!" "Next time it will be double." "Good bye!" "Good bye!" "Good bye!" " Good bye!" "Good bye!" " Kisses to all!" "Good bye!" "Good bye!" "Good bye!" "Good bye!" "Take a look!" "Boss, it's fake!" " We finally have fake money, boss!" " Fucking hell, after them!" "Noble pathos!" "Noble pathos!" "Noble pathos!" "People, what the hell is going on?" " Well, nothing." " What?" " Nothing." " Nothing?" "Come on!" "But he doesn't know where he is!" "Let's tell him!" "Let's tell him, Juci!" "Hey, I like Pepe enough, to not..." "I don't know, to not leave him in such doubt, let's tell him!" "Professor, let's tell him!" "We can't treat him like a child!" "Let's tell him!" "I would feel really stupid, if I didn't know where I was." "Professor, let's tell him!" " Please!" " Professor, shut her up!" "Come on, let's tell him!" "This is madness!" " Please let's tell him!" " Ssh!" "Let's tell!" "Hello!" "Hello!" "Is anyone here?" "Hello!" "Police!" "There was something like..." "like this on king Mathias' shield." "Jozsi, what... what are you doing here?" "Get moving, change, ok?" "Go!" "Mesi!" "Mesike!" "I wanted to tell you not to do this to me, ok?" "Listen, Mesi!" "You're a big girl, get out of the closet!" "Mesi!" "You look so good!" "Damn it!" "Good day, police action." "Excuse me, but what is this place?" "I would like to know, what this place is?" "Are you deaf?" "I'm talking to you!" "Ok." "Do you live here?" "I know you." "Oh, I'm sure I know you!" "Mesi, I know her!" "I definitely know her, Mesi!" "So, you were the shooter right?" " Haven't you noticed that it's plastic." " This is plastic?" "Give me back my gun!" " Excuse me, but who are you?" " I'm a maths professor." "Ok, so what's the costume for?" "What's the costume for?" "Get lost!" "Get lost!" "Go change!" "I would like to know, what this place is." "Well, what?" "Isn't this is usually done at night?" "Don't do this to me, ok?" "Listen, Kapa!" " Peter, Peter, calm down!" " Kapa, you can't do this to me!" " Peter, calm down!" " That was good!" " That was really good!" " Nice and calm!" "You know..." "like the start in the sky." " Kapa!" " Relax, relax." " This is resisting arrest." " Really?" " Laying your hands on an officer." " Really?" " You'll get in trouble for this." " Really?" "Really." "So let me go, ok?" "You've kidnapped me." " Kidnapped you?" " Take me hostage." "You're not a hostage, Peter, you're not." " You came on your own!" " Give me my hat back!" "Thank you, but I don't want this." " But it's yours my king." " Put him on the horse!" " Don't!" " You came on your own, Peter." " Hand in hand, together." " Hand in hand, together." " Should I repeat that?" " Fingers intertwined." "Fingers intertwined." " We on the border of our poor land." " We on the border of our poor land." " Abracadabra, hay bag." " Abracadabra, hay bag." " Six times seven is thirteen." " Six times seven is thirteen." " Fly!" " Ok, ok!" " Fly!" " Am I doing it right?" " That's it, fly!" "Fly!" " That's it!" " Let go!" "Oops!" " No Kapa, don't let me go!" " Your flying, Peter!" " Kapa!" "Flying!" "Flying!" "Peter, you're flying!" " Open your eyes!" " What?" "Open your eyes!" "Open them!" "Leave me alone, with this stupid crown!" " Kapa, you don't have the right!" " No?" " This will have consequences." " Possibly." "Acute chest infection, God forbid a throat infection." "Give him some dry clothes..." "and something hot to drink!" "Thanks..." "Mesi." "I don't need it." "I don't need anything." "Why haven't you changed?" "What's this... costume?" " I don't want it." " Drink, drink!" " So you can poison me?" " What?" "Who do you think you are, Peter?" " Who?" " Why?" "Are you that important?" "Who would want to poison you?" " Who?" " Then put a spell on me." "Double, double." "Abracadabra." "Six times seven is thirteen?" "You can't even count." "A flea lived in the fur of the king." "He so loved him, he so raised him like his own kin." "The king summoned the tailor, the tailor came before him." "And the tailor sowed pants and ajacket for him." " Thanks, Mesi." " All right, all right." " Peter, later." " Thanks." "Unstick already!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Sit!" "Put something under his butt!" "Put the hat on too, ok?" " Must I?" " Oh, you must." " You ok, Peter?" " Aha." "What?" "Let me see your wrist!" "Oh, of course, you're fine." " Strong will, right?" " Aha." " You can't turn blood into water." " Aha." " The ancestors genes, right?" " Yeah." "Your so great..." "Looks like it got a little diluted in you, doesn't matter." "Give me the hat!" "Peter!" "Right." "Your head's grown since we left the Upper Forest Street school." " Nice and cold." " Right." "Open your eyes!" "The culture show is starting." "He's the new Sultan, his name is Suleiman." "Jesus Christ!" "That's... the boss!" "That's my boss!" " Come on." " Peter Halasz!" "Come on, Peter, like I said, his name is Suleiman!" " He's aggressive and has blood on his hands." " Well... my boss doesn't mess around either." "But... oh my God..." "that's my boss!" " Peter, my boss." " Peter, Peter, calm down!" "Listen, just don't pass out!" "Jesus Christ!" "Jesus Christ!" " Jesus Christ..." " Kapa!" "He passed out, I figured he would." "Lay him down." "Put this under is head!" "Give him something!" "Emese, to drink!" "To drink!" "Kapa!" " Yes, Peter." " Hey, Kapa!" "Talk, Peter!" "Talk, talk!" "You tricked me into this shit?" "Now, before my promotion?" "I could have been the PR for the MP!" "Kapa, stop it!" "And you mix my boss into it too, the Suleiman..." "Peter." " You made him Suleiman." " Calm down, Peter!" "This is no trick." "This is a tape from 1526." "Avideo tape?" "From 1526?" "You must be insane?" "You and Emese?" "1526?" "Peter, stop it!" "I'll explain, Peter!" "Don't explain anything, ok?" "Don't try to explain this shit to me!" "Who would believe this?" "Who?" "Do you?" "You stupid mathematician, of course you do." "Some do believe it, Peter." "But you don't have to." "Don't believe." " It's a fact." " Peter Scherer!" "What do you know about the theory of relativity?" "E=mc2!" " What?" " E=mc2!" "Meaning?" "Meaning..." "Energy equals, mass times the speed of light squared." "Peter, did you ever come to my place in Hernad street, back in the day?" " Why is that important, Kapa?" " Did you or didn't you?" "To that shitty rental?" "Of course." "Hall, through the bathroom, and there was a... past the landlady's room... what was her name?" " Ms. Kovacs." " Ms. Kovacs, past Ms. Kovacs' room, was the hole, where you lived." " I lived?" " You both lived." " What?" " Do you remember my roommates name?" "Wait, he had a strange name." "Something..." "like... he was a barons son, right?" "He had a Latin first name, or something." " Pompeius." "His name was Pompeius." " Pompeius!" "Fiat." "Pompeius Fiat and do you know why?" "No, how would I know that, Kapa?" " You don't?" " No." "He put the flag out." "The Hungarian flag, over Buda castle." " Really?" " They beat out the Turks, ...and he put the flag out, Pompeius Fiat." " Pompeius Fiat." " My roommates ancestor." " Oh." " And?" " He was a mathematician." " My roommate." " So he was crazy." "Sorry, professor Madar!" "He committed suicide." "He drowned himself." "Jesus Christ!" " Here?" " Right here, Peter." "His body floats to the surface sometimes, that's when the little flames come." "Kapa..." "I don't want this." "Let me go, ok?" "I don't want to get mixed up with you." " I don't want to get mixed up with you." " Pompeius Fiat!" " He left his notes behind." " Ok, I don't care." "I'm going home, ok?" "I'm leaving." "Listen, nothing will happen to you, ok?" " I promise." " No?" "No." "I'll hide the arrest warrant." " Really?" " You know that there is an APB out on you?" "They are going to arrest you, Kapa." "But I'll hide it, I swear." "I swear to the tobacco plantation old man in the sky!" "Don't blaspheme!" "Don't swear, Peter!" " Listen!" " Peter, they won't arrest me." " Kapa, just..." " Ssh, ssh, ssh, ssh." " Quiet!" " Jesus Christ!" "Oh, God!" "The barons' stupid kid." "Pompeius Fiat, Peter." "Pompeius Fiat was his name!" "He left behind his notes." "But professor Madar and I solved his proofs!" " Pompeius Fiat." " Pompeius." "We solved the question of time travel, Peter." "No, Kapa, no!" "No, Kapa, no!" "Kapa!" "E=mc2!" " Albert Einstein." "I get that." " Don't have a fit, Peter!" " "" " B + -"..." " You need to relax!" " You need some cold water." " A2" " B2 = C2." "Right, Peter." " Einstein, ok?" " Of cou..." "Kapa, no!" " Space-time continuum?" " They effect each other." " It can bend, right?" " Right, and?" "Space bends according to time, and it tends to, bend back anywhere and vice versa." " What?" " Vice versa, the other way round, Peter." "You can go back in time?" " Of course." " But how?" " With a time machine, Peter." "Balazs, give it here!" " Stop messing about!" " Here." " That's cool!" " And... how does it work?" " With special H20." " Really, what's that?" " Special H20." "They draw it from a chipped well." "Cool!" "Listen, can I play with it in the tub?" "Play with yourself, Peter!" "Kapa!" "Can you go back to the future?" "Pompeius Fiat didn't work that out." " Pity!" " Shut up, Peter." "Why do you care about the future?" "We have to solve the past." "Our past is our future." "Peter, don't you see?" " Of course, I get it." " That tape is from 1526." " Oh, stop it, don't, Kapa!" " Peter!" "I got in the time machine..." "with a camera." " No, no, no!" " Yes, Peter." " No, no, no!" " Yes, yes, yes." "I shot it on the plains of Mohacs before the battle." "Unbelievable!" " There are more things in heaven and earth..." " Horatio." " There are more things in heaven and earth, Peter... in heaven and earth." "Than are dreamt of in your philosophy." "Ok." "Hamlet, act one, scene five, and?" "And the end of the act?" "The time is out of joint:" "O cursed spite, That ever I was born to set it right." " Set it right." " Right." " That's what this is about, Peter." " That?" "We have to set history right!" "We'll go back to the plains of Mohacs." " We'll take a few guns." " Back?" "We'll beat out the Turks, we'll kill Suleiman!" "We'll save Matthias Corvin's beautiful Hungary!" "We'll redo everything, Peter!" " Really?" " To hell with the Habsburgs!" "The Nazis, Trianon, the Russians!" "Oh, Peter, Hungary will be great again!" "Powerful and large." "The northern, eastern and southern falling starts will sizzle out in Hungarian seas..." "Get him out!" "He'll drown." "Peter, Peter!" " Are you ok?" " Yeah." "Great, I'm glad." "You're happy again, I'm glad." " Peter, I'm glad!" " Kapa!" " Just tell me one thing!" " What?" " How did you trick me into this?" " Into what?" " That I'm the king?" " Peter, that's what you are." " Well?" " That's your ancestor!" "King Louis was your ancestor." " The Scherer's ancestor?" " Of course." " Louis' family was French." " French?" "French, or at least French speaking." " They always said:" ""Mon chere, mon chere"." " Mon chere." " Mon chere, mon chere." " That's where your name comes from." "Mon chere..." " Mon chere." " Mon chere..." "Scherer... wow..." " See, get it, get it?" "Hey if I told this to my dad, he'd flip." " For sure." " No?" " Kapa, and?" " What?" "But... the king and I..." "the same, two peas, see?" " Peter!" " We are the same." "Peter!" "Is biology worth shit?" "Oh, but you flunked biology." "I got an A in flowering plants." " When was that, Peter?" "When?" " Well..." "When you took 5th grade for the 7th time?" "Oh, God, but Upper Forest street was a good school." "Right." "Hey, listen and my boss?" " He is Suleiman?" " Of course, naturally." "Suleiman's ancestor, you said it yourself, Peter!" "He's aggressive, you can't stand him and he never tells the truth." "Of course, he lies." "I think he's a thief too." " Then there is no doubt." " Right." " He is Suleiman's ancestor." " I believe you, I could believe... if I saw it." "I could, really!" "Do you doubt me?" "Doubt like the apostle Thomas, doubted Christ's wounds?" " Christ?" " You have to see to believe, Peter?" "Really?" "Fine then!" "But if you betray us, we'll kill you!" " Kapa!" " Then you're done!" " Kapa, I..." " If you blab, you'll end up like Emese." " You saw what happened to Emese, right?" " Of course I saw." " She couldn't talk for days." " That's right." " Kapa!" " And you won't either!" " Kapa, I swear..." " Don't swear, Peter!" " But I swear to the god of the Hung..." " We'll take a blood oath!" " Awhat?" " A blood oath!" " What?" "What?" " They'll take our blood." "Pour it in a chalice of wine." "What kind of wine do you like, Peter?" "I don't know." "To be honest, I don't really like wine." " Then into whiskey." " Whiskey?" " Scottish, Canadian, Bourbon?" " Whatever." " Whatever?" "Then Tennessee." " Tennessee?" "Ok." "Blood!" "Son of a bitch!" "Here." " Cheers, Kapa!" " Not like that, Peter." "Repeat after me:" "Spill my blood, if I betray my people!" "Spill my blood, if I betray my people." "On the rocky Carpathian, there stands guard, thousands of Hungarian soldiers." "With all weapons, to their sides held hard, they bravely face off disasters." "The sky burns in blood red, while they all over are bled." "Waves of enemies crash on our homeland, to break ourwill, so sacred." "Atwarwith half the -half the world, fights the brave Hungarian." " Bring some special H20!" " Yes, boss." "Come on, come on!" "I need some more!" "More!" "More!" "What's wrong, are you on tranquilizers?" " Alright enough." " Enough!" "Useless vermin!" "Where is that useless idiot, bring him here!" " Peter!" "Peter!" " Kapa!" "I'm here." " Can we go?" " That's what your wearing?" "Why?" "I can't go out in public in a costume." " Costume?" " Why?" "You think the great Gabor Bethlen's coat is a costume?" "And this... this, this shit?" "This is your costume?" "Fine, fine, fine, fine, whatever, whatever, we don't have time for this." "King Louis will arrive at Mohacs, tomorrow or the day after..." " Stop it!" "... the battle is starting." "Yes, yes, yes!" " Really?" " The guns, give me the guns!" " Thanks." " Peter!" " I'll drive." "You count to 100." "Can you count?" " Of course." " But don't mess up!" " Of course." "Listen, wouldn't it be better if I drove?" " What?" " If I drove." " Where were you born, Peter?" " Ajka." " Ajka." "Is there an airport there?" " I don't think so." "No?" "Then shut up!" "I'm driving, you're counting!" "To 100!" "The first 10 in Turkish, ok?" " Ok?" " Well." " In Turkish?" " Turkish, Turkish!" "After that you can continue in Hungarian." "What?" "What's wrong?" " Well... it's just the Turkish bit." " What?" "They didn't teach you to count in Turkish?" "Emese, help him!" "What a crock!" "Hungary falls because of people like him!" "Professor Szirtes, bless her!" " Bir, iki, uc, dort, bes..." " Oh!" " That's it!" "... alti, yedi, sekiz, dokuz, on." " Bir, iki, uc, dort..." " Continue, continue:" "Uc, dort..." "Alright, this isn't going to work." "Emese!" "You have to run beside us." "Count out loud." "You repeat after her, you useless shit." "But don't mess it up, cause the whole thing won't be worth fuck!" "Wouldn't it be better if I counted in English?" "What happened, Peter?" "Did they build an airport in Ajka?" " No." " Then shut up!" " Ok." " Here is the time machine." "We're leaving." "May the god of the Hungarians be with us!" " If God is with us, who is against us..." " Who is against..." " Is... is against us." " Either with us or..." " Let's go!" " Start!" "Bir, iki, uc, dort, bes, alti, yedi, sekiz, dokuz, on." "Bir, iki, uc, dort, bes, alti, yedi, sekiz, dokuz, on." " Shut up!" " Don't we need a seat belt?" "Jump ship!" "Get off you useless shit!" "Stop it!" " Kapa!" "What the hell are you doing?" " Bir, iki, uc, dort, ...bes, alti, yedi, sekiz, dokuz, on..." " Don't leave me here..." "I don't believe this!" "What's he doing?" "Don't leave me here!" "I have the guns and everything!" "I don't believe this!" "I absolutely don't believe this!" "Bir, iki, uc, dort, bes, alti, yedi, sekiz, dokuz, on." "Kapa!" "Wait!" "Wait!" "At least take this with you!" "Peter, try to understand that I'm weighed down!" " And what about Suleiman?" " Peter, trust me!" "Take it with you!" "You can't be that stupid!" "Damn it!" "You can't be that stupid!" " Fucking hell!" " Calm down, hey, relax!" "Stop trying to get me to calm down!" "He can't do anything!" "How will Hungary be great again?" "How will Hungary be great again?" " Good day, Attila!" " Hello, boss!" "The bird has taken off and is floating in the blue sky." "Listen, Peter, put down the weapon!" " Stop fucking around!" " Seriously, you're under arrest." "Hey, Attila, I'm not in a good mood." "Don't touch me!" " Relax, relax!" " Stop it, guys!" "See, I told you this was no joke." "You're under arrest." "Bir, iki, uc, dort, bes, alti, yedi, sekiz, dokuz, on." "Suleiman." "Sorry, Attila!" "Sorry, really." " What is your name?" " Attila Racz, sir." "You may go." " Pull up a chair!" " Alright." "Your doing that so well." " Your hands aren't even bound." " Oh, right." "You're lucky." "You're being held in a European institutional state prison." " Right." " You're free to come and go." " You can order dinner from the Gundel." " Super." " Where are your shoes?" " They took them off." " They took them off?" " They were $500 and almost new." " What else?" " My watch." "A Rolex." " Cash?" " That too." " Lots?" " Well... ask your employees." "Listen to me!" "So you're a member of the gang, right?" " Upper Forest, right?" " Yeah." " There are lots of you." " Aha." " There is an MP amongst you, right?" " Right." "And the leader?" "Where is the leader?" "The gang leader." " Not talking are we?" " I am." "He went to Mohacs." "He won't get there." "The Griffin's shot him down." "No they didn't." "He has to get there." "He has to save Louis II." " Who?" " King Louis, Louis II." "The battle starts tomorrow or the day after." " What battle?" " What battle?" "The battle for Mohacs." " He went back to the battle for Mohacs." " Exactly." " 1526." " Right, exactly." "And he is going to kill your ancestor." "Suleiman, boss." "Woops, that's bad right?" "You wont even be born!" "You can't even beat the boss at this." "He's there." "Please be careful with him!" "He's gone mad." "Treat him gently, pet him, kiss him and stuff." "Don't we have practice with things like this?" "A little psychology." "You have 10 minutes." " Just 10, no more." " Ati!" "What you shit!" "Try and laugh now!" "You piece of shit!" " Get in!" " Should I close the bars?" "Prick!" "You shit!" "You prick!" "He used to work for me, I'm just saying." "Azero!" "A no name!" "This is what happens if you trust someone." "What?" "What's this black get up?" "Jesus Christ!" "Kapa?" " Be strong, he's dead." " Fuck!" "The fighter jets shot him down!" "Really?" "And what about the battle for Mohacs?" "You have to take his place." "You took a blood oath, that's a big responsibility." "Juci!" "I can't..." "I can't get out of here." "How could I?" "If I walk out on the street, within a second I'd have a bullet in my head." "My own men!" "This is what they are waiting for!" "And if they shot him down, what happened to the machine?" "Luckily the tanks remain intact." "We found them outside Wiener Neustadt." "Wiener Neustadt?" "That was part of Hungary too." "Damn it!" " Alright, just concentrate on Mohacs for now." " Ok." "Prof. Szirtes and Lopici teacher, already made a new one." "More modern." "Motor bike." "That's what drives it." " Juci!" " You have to hurry, king Louis is already waiting at Mohacs." " We may still have a day." " Juci, how do I get out?" " I can't get out." " Mesi!" "Emese will put a pill in your mouth with her tongue." " Suck on it!" " Listen, won't you tongue me instead, Juci?" " Let Mesi, ok?" " Ok, and then what?" " You'll be invisible." " Invisible?" " Stop it!" " Undress." " Undress?" " Naked." "Naked?" "Juci, I'm really shy." "And in this cold, it will shrink to this small." " Don't make me do it!" " Stop it, you'll be invisible." "Well Pepe, that wasn't easy to keep in my mouth all this time." "Did you swallow it?" "Don't fuck it up, we only have one." "Ok, ok." "Ok." "Where should I put this?" "Mesi, fold up my jumper, please!" "We're taking it with us, we're not leaving the clothes here." "Look at camera 21!" "The two women are undressing the staff sergeant." "Let it fucking go, let them have some fun too!" "I like this dress." "It's totally dissolved, is it working?" "Of course, I can't see your legs." "Stop it!" "Judit, turn away please, ok?" " Why?" "I can't see anything." " And if it doesn't work?" "Mesi, you can look." "Hey everyone, it's a male strip tease!" "A Show, a spectacle, now that's something!" "No problem, continue!" "Free country, free citizens." " Hey Juci, they're taking pictures." " I see, Mesi, take care of it!" "Zoli, fuck, she shot it!" " Fuck you!" " What is this?" "Where is the prisoner?" "Stand by the bars!" "Hands up!" "Stand over there!" "Where is the prisoner?" "What did you do with the camera, hey?" " What's going on?" " Mr. MP, sir..." " Excuse me?" " Mr. MP, sir..." " Sir what?" " Mr. MP, sir, the two women made the prisoner disappear." " They did what?" " Mr. MP sir, the prisoner was in the cell, ...and then disappeared." " Disappeared?" " Disappeared, sir, and..." " How?" "Well this women pointed her finger and blew up Zoli's camera." " Who?" " Sir, sergeant Horvath's, sir!" "So the women blew up the camera and the two women made the prisoner disappear?" " What's your name sergeant?" " Sir, Attila Racz... sergeant." "Ok." "So very quietly and bloody fast leave the cell now!" "Understood, Mr. MP." "Good afternoon." "Good afternoon." "Ladies, I'm an MP." "This is my under-secretary." "Peter Fezbank, good afternoon." " Fezbank." " What happened ladies?" "Don't even tell me." "Hicks!" "I would like to apologise in their name." "The world has gone insane, ladies." "The TV, the shows, today's world has made everyone crazy." "We were just passing through here with Peter, can we help?" " We'll take you home, the cars not a problem." " Thank you, you're very kind, sir, but we have a meeting around the corner." "Peter, escort the ladies out!" "Ladies, you don't know what you're missing." " Sergent Racz!" " Yes, Mr. MP?" " Yes?" " Clean out the cell!" "Of course." "It's good they aren't dropping bombs, Peter." "Fuck!" "It stinks like piss!" "Smell that!" "Not bad." "It stinks..." "like the netherworld." "Not bad." " This watermelon has a great stink!" " Smell, Peterke, smell." "Your ass stinks, a watermelon has a smell." " It must be ripe, will we eat it?" " At the wake." "At poor Kapa's wake." "The dog in the butcher shop, stole the sausage, the butcher ran after him." " Don't be crude, Peter, please don't be crude!" " Neither big..." "We have a death in the family." " Fuck!" " What?" "I slipped." "Dog shit." "I stepped in dog shit." " Wipe it off, it stinks." " Can't you be more careful?" " God!" " Get a move on!" " Wait up, will you!" " Come on!" "Mesi!" "Please, get off my foot, ok?" "Thanks." "Dear God!" "Kapa." " You're here, Peter?" " Where the hell else would I be?" " I'm here between the girls, Balazs!" " Yeah." "So." "Drink... all of this!" "One sip at a time." "Then go to the loo, piss it out and you'll be visible again." "That will be good." "I have to wash my feet too." " Dog shit." " Hey, take it already!" " Careful!" " Don't spill my drink!" "So that's why it smells like shit here." "So, drink up!" "Drink up!" "A new grave, respectable academy, overwhich the mother land closes." "Closes over our respected friends corpse." "Another lost life, thatwas long enough to fulfil it's purpose, overwhich we say, with no pain:" "Rest in peace!" "A new void, over which we calmly say, there is no void, which life can not fill." "Nature hibernates through the long winter, new life springs forward in the place of the withered flower, the world is a glow with new life, and the past spring lives only in our memories." "We console ourselves, with the words of the poet," "Eternal damnation and funerals alternate." "Dear respectable academy, this we can say, with this we can console ourselves, over a new life, to which no hope is attached." "Over such a chasm, that the cover of new directions, forever shroud." "Poor Kapa!" "Poor Hungarian people!" "No matter where you go, no matter where you roam." "...wine is tears..." " Wine is tears and so is the bread." "... and so is the bread." "Hello!" "You left me alone up shits creek!" "What should I do now?" "Whatever, I'll go there." "I'll beat back the Turks, I'll try to save our poor Hungarian homeland." "I'm a little sick of this Suleiman anyway, that's the truth." "Then we will be a super power, a universal language, the police of the world." "The world... everything, it will all be ours." "They will recite Petofi in Hungarian in India." " "Where the wild animals, green eyes, flash through the jungle. "" "Yeah, yeah." "The slanted eyed will learn the Hungarian grammar rules." " And all our verbs." " Right." "And so what?" "Alright, whatever." "Whatever, whatever, I won't complain." "I'll go and try to save these Hungarian dickheads." "God bless you, Kapa!" "Wait!" "That's it." "Try... try this!" "Pull his mouth out!" "Fold it down!" "Ok, maybe we should pin it with something." " We don't have any nails." " Ok." " Szamorodni wine." " Cheers!" "Wow, this is good." " Where's the mask?" " What mask?" " Where is the mask, it was right here on Kapa's face!" " Where is it, seriously?" "I'm looking for it!" "While I was drinking the mask disappeared." " Give the mask back, Balazs!" " Why?" "I don't have it." " Stop it, empty your pockets!" " Peter, I don't have it, see, take a look!" " I don't believe it!" " See I don't... someone must have..." "It didn't fall under him!" "Damn it!" " Believe me..." " I don't believe it!" " Relax!" " At a fucking funeral?" " An invisible man must have passed this way." "What kind of country is this!" "God damn it!" " Give me that pillow!" " What do you want..." "Switch to maximum velocity!" " Maximum velocity!" "Maximum velocity!" " I don't believe this!" "Damn it!" "You try to!" "What the hell is going on?" "Stop it!" "Why aren't we taking off?" "God damn it!" "I don't believe this!" " I don't get it." " Why won't it take off?" "Why not?" "Because it was made in Hungary, I'm going to shoot it to bits." " Made in Hungary?" "No it's not..." " It is Hungarian, fucking hell!" " Here." " Are you insane, Balazs?" "Are you cussing out the Hungarians?" " Not the Hungarians, just this shit!" " And Albert Szent-Gyorgyi?" " See?" "What do you want with this?" " Ignac Semmelweis?" " What do you want a head count?" " And the Pannonia motor?" " And the lipica horse?" " Lipica!" "Got to lipica hell!" " Stop cussing, you!" " Peter, Peter!" "Calm down!" " Hey, Pepe!" " I thought he might faint." " Then why did you do it?" " Put the useless idiot on the machine!" "Jozsi, come here and help!" " Peter!" "Oh, help!" " Oh..." " Ok." " Music!" " Hey, where are we?" " We are leaving!" "May the god of the Hungarians be with us!" " And me?" " You're staying behind." "Are we going, Kapa?" "Give me the gun!" "Hey, smoke is bellowing out of it!" "When did you last check the cylinder heads?" "At the birth of state, when they crowed Steve!" "Steve?" "Vajk, no?" " No?" "Geza's son, Vajk." " That little kids', Geza's son." " There was a huge party, everyone was drunk." " I can imagine." "Hey, look!" "Agolden eagle, just passed under us." "Really." " And time passed..." " Yeah." "...over us." " Look to the left, is anything coming?" " No nothing." " What?" "Nothing." "Nothing." "Why do we need this?" "What's that for?" " So the pheasants can move, if we land on a nest." " Oh." " Watch out, watch out!" " Done?" "Have we arrived?" "That's it." " That was cool." " Oh!" " The wether is pretty shitty!" " Don't worry the sun will come out soon." " How do you know?" " I heard it on CNN this morning." "Really?" "Hey, Kapa, where are we right now?" "On the plains of Mohacs." " Sorry." " Stop rattling, stop it!" " Nothing, this shit just got stuck." " Fine." " The plains of Mohacs?" " Aha." "Yeah." ""Plains of grief stained with the blood of heroes, we greet you with a sigh. "" " Aha." " Did you hear?" "Hexameter." " Aha." " Hey, the place is empty!" " It's early, everyone's asleep, Peter." " And the Turks?" " Over the hill." " Oh!" "There?" " What?" " Get down!" "The Turkish patrol!" " To the right, see?" " The right side." " What?" " Translated:" "The right side." " I'll shoot." " You can't, you can't, Peter!" " It's not appropriate." "You have to warn him, that it's an act of war." " True." "Hello!" "Gentlemen!" "Hello!" "Warriors!" "The battle has begun!" "The battle has begun, hello!" "War!" "War!" "Why the fuck are you yelling in English?" " English is a universal language, no?" " But Hungarian will be!" " Right." " Let them get used to Hungarian!" "You're right." "My mother taught me to pray in Hungarian and to love you my beautiful homeland." " I'm shooting." "Fuck, I can't..." "what the hell?" " Peter!" "It's empty." "That too." "Peter!" "Do you see why you never get promoted?" "Yeah." "Do you want to run for the title of "The most stupid in the neighbourhood"?" "Now?" "...when he is sick." "Hey, firty-force, hey, tat-tat-tat, la-la-la, boom, boom, that fucking horse..." " Shot!" "Shot!" " Alright, fine." " Shoot!" " Fine." "Shoot the horseman, you idiot." " This shit jammed, something jammed." " Fine, you useless swine!" "Get it off me!" "Fuck, you ripped my vest!" " I don't believe it." " Oh, you idiot!" "Why did I bring you, you oaf?" "Ok." " What was that?" " He came to shake the nuts from the tree." "Kapa!" "Stop it, you shot a man!" " Isn't that why we came?" " Let's see!" "Oh, my God!" "It's Attila." " Attila?" " Aha." " Attila, he works for me." " Attila, works for you?" " Yes, Attila." "Attila the sergeant." " Attila the staff sergeant." "Treason!" "Get it?" "Treason." "He joined the Turks." "Let's get him out of here!" " Hey..." " Which way are you taking him?" " This way!" " Alright, lets take him!" " Oh, you useless bugger." "Lets pull him on his stomach!" " Change sides, grab is hands!" " Alright." "You oaf, you!" "I'll film for a bit, at least we'll have that." " You brought the camera?" "That's good." " No, I didn't bring it." "Hey, can I do it?" " Here, do it, do it!" " The lighting is perfect." " Hey, what's that?" " Adigital camera." "What happened to the super 8?" "Stop it, this is much better!" " The resolution is better, and..." " Peter, you're getting on my nerves!" " It doesn't even need batteries..." " Super 8?" "Super 8?" " Right." " Film, development, copying?" " The picture is here, see?" " That's cool!" " This really is good." " Fine, right." "This is bloody good." "Hey, the horse is back." "Come here!" "Go beside it!" " Come here!" " Stop messing around!" " Button your jacket!" " Stop it, there's movement." "Kapa!" "Kapa!" "Peter, shut up, I'm filming!" " The Turks are there!" " I see, I see." "We have to warn the Hungarians, to defend themselves." " Why?" " Why... to help them!" "We're out of bullets, you useless idiot!" "Oh..." "Look!" "What are they doing?" " Undressing." " Why?" "They'll put their clothes under their asses." " So it doesn't get wet." " Why?" "There's going to be a storm, Peter." "Rain." " How do you know?" " I heard it on CNN this morning." " Oh." " Any more questions?" "None, I just wanted to know, why you think Attila is a traitor?" "Shut up!" "Shut up, Peter, shut up!" "Look!" "It's starting!" "Look at the beautiful shots." " This film will be a big success." " Really?" "Or not." "Hey, and I'm just noticing..." "wait!" "Did we came to be war time journalists, Kapa." "No, Peter, but the circumstances." "Man is a product of his environment." "Necessity is the mother of all invention, get it?" " Yes, I see." "Congratulations." " For what?" "For that nice thought." "You phrased it so well." "And the Hungarian history and our dreams?" "Pray, Peter!" "That the rain won't stop." "That will wash away the battle for Mohacs." " Wash away our bad fate." " The poet said the same." ""Through so much bad fate, after so much discord... "" " Do you know it?" "It's in iambic pentameter." " Peter!" ""Lessened but not broken, we live... "" " Has anyone ever told you your a huge..." " Dickhead?" " Yeah." " It's been said." "Wow, so many times." " Fine." " You guessed right." " Look!" "What's in the forest?" " Your mother." " Respect!" " God bless!" "Excuse me, where is his majesty?" "He went to the place even kings walk to." " He's draining the lizard, and taking his bloody time!" " Yeah." "So." "Turn off the tap, your majesty!" "We're leaving!" "Come on, Peter!" "We can beat them on foot." "The soul comes to die in skinny horses like this." " And we're fast as antelopes." " As fast." " What?" " We are as fast as antelopes." "It's bad grammar to leave out the "as", you're meant to say:" "We are as fast as antelopes." " Peter, has anyone ever told you..." " They've told me." "Lets go!" "March, run!" "Kapa, if you have any questions about grammar, just tell me, ok?" "What the fuck?" "Who is coughing?" "The Turks are here." "Kapa!" "What are you looking at?" " Our future, Peter." " Really?" "Can you see it?" "Unfortunately." "Breath on me, Peter!" " Are you kidding?" " I said breath on me!" "The special H20." "Did you drink it?" "Fucking hell!" "You went into the tank?" "We can't go back!" " Kapa, please, don't be mad!" " Peter, we can't go back!" " I was bloody thirsty." " If you're thirsty say something!" "Say something." "I'll get you some water." "I'll summon the rain." "We can't go back, Peter." "Listen, if I see you around the tanks again, you're dead!" " I'll kill you, get it?" " Got it." "Close the umbrella, it's not raining, haven't you noticed yet?" "Really." "Man, it's like April!" "What April, you animal?" "It's August!" " August?" " Fucking hell." " What?" " The battle's about to begin and no one is here." "Kapa, do you know this song:" "It doesn't snow in August, it's not good to swim in December." "There is no harvest in January, because one egg and one egg is two eggs." " What was that, Peter?" " A little ditty." "I didn't notice." " Wait, Kapa, where are you going?" " I have plans." " What are you doing here?" " What do you think?" " What to you do on the loo?" " Ok." " I'll stand guard, ok?" " Ok, Peter." "Life is a beautiful dream..." "Jesus!" "Well Mr. Under-secretary, I almost shot you." "The grave will be..." "What's up, how are we?" " I think I'm in control of the situation." " That's good." "Don't fuck around, things are in the works here!" "King Louis is coming soon, with the Turk at his back!" "Hold on a second!" "Attila!" "What are you doing here?" " I got demoted, I'm a security guard now." " Asecurity guard?" "What's with the beard?" " Adrienn likes it, but mine won't grow..." " Won't grow?" " Once here, then there?" " Peter, Peter!" " Traitor!" " And?" " Traitor!" "He switched sides!" " Switched." "Why is that a problem?" "Everyone picks the side they want." "The problem is if you pick the wrong side at the wrong time." " That's a national pass time here." " Don't get upset." " Respect!" " Fesztbaum, under-secretary." " Fesztbaum." " Greetings." "How did you get here, sir?" "To 1526?" "Well yes:" ""On an autumn eve, life"..." "Come on, we have to hide behind the cart." "The problem is the king will be here soon." "Put these on!" "Ok, ok." "The king is coming?" "Quickly, yes." "There's a little brown haired girl here, in the neighbourhood." "What?" "Hey, la-la-la, hey." "He comes here to screw." "And I wake up, early in the morn," "And I wake up, early in the morn." "I wash away all of my sins," "I wash away all of my sins." "I go out to my front door," "I go out to my front door." "And I look up to the highest heavens," "And I look up to the highest heavens." "This is unbelievable!" "If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn't believe it!" "On the day of the battle for Mohacs?" "What is king Louis thinking?" " Isn't he just a man, too?" " Unbelievable." "She's a pretty girl, but still." "Excuse me, if we ask, can we film the scene inside?" " What?" "But they are screwing." " So, hasn't the world's seen that before?" "Kapa!" "Please, would you give the man the camera?" "Peter, Peter, do you think, I would give it to a retard?" " This is a historical moment, Peter." " Wait!" " Kapa!" " What?" "Let me go first!" "Hey, Peter!" "Peter!" "Where did you learn this?" "What is this behaviour?" " Why?" " Knock." " Knock, see?" " Oh, God!" " Knock." " I'm so dumb, you're right." "Good afternoon!" "Excuse me... please!" " What Peter?" " Nothing, they kicked me out." "Are you surprised?" "Would you like it if there was a peeping tom watching you screw?" "I don't now." "It wouldn't bother me." " Hey." " Respect!" "What kind of king do you have?" "We came to help, we are here to help the Hungarians and the king is in there fucking." " Save the Hungarians?" " Aha." " From what?" "Jesus!" "What is it?" " I'm coming, I'm here!" " Stop, stop, don't move your majesty!" "You fucked it up, now suffer the consequences!" " Lazius." " Yes?" "We have to come up with a good story." " Csele creek?" " Csele creek, that's good!" "It's flooded, that will do." " You came up with that?" " Well..." " It's good." "You duped the whole world." " Thanks." "Leave him!" "Let him go he just infected my sister." "Lustful, fucking animal." "Go on, go on." "Just ignore me." " Hey!" " Watch the pivoting moves!" "Damned cunts!" "How many problems have they caused in history." "The bird is gone, the cage is sprung," "He kept singing he will be back for spring." "If not for spring, then for summer." "If not even then, you should know, never." "Don't worry, mate!" "This won't last forever." "Not even after 150 years did you become Turks." "And we never will be!" "I'll set history right." "Somehow, I'll set it right." "Young man!" "Young man!" " Are you deaf?" " No." "So!" "What a small world." "We've met before!" " I don't think so." " What, you don't recognise me?" "I've killed you." "Fake beard?" "Raised from the dead?" "Switched sides?" "Bad, bad, 'cause if someone switches sides, they lie, steal and cheat too." "And he who lies, steals and cheats is capable of other atrocities too." "We know this from history." "What's wrong?" "My young friend, I have a job for you." "Don't eat while I'm talking to you!" "You have to get the kings head back." " Oh, that's not going to happen." " But it would be good, if it did." "I wouldn't have to beat the shit out of you." " Yeah." " Yeah, yeah!" " Then I'll do it." " Get going!" "Move it!" "Oh, you!" " Kapa, take it!" " Useless peasant." " Did you get my head?" " You're mates bringing it." " How do I look, is it ok?" " It'll do." " Come here, kneel!" " Betray Hungary?" "Kneel there!" " Lord, king, my life..." " Bring it here!" "...to you I give." " Give it here!" " Kneel!" " That's it!" " Come on, come on, Gyozo's coming." "Hold this!" "Here." "Now recrown your king." "Come on!" "Kapa!" "Gyozo's coming, look how happy he is!" " We'll kill them all." " He won't know what hit him." "Hey, move over!" "You too!" "Useless idiot!" "Uzgin Uver, magyar uver." "All summer I would like to live in a shady grove," "As I am the happiest under the shade of a grove," "The crown of the tree, the flowers in the field seem to wave..." " Oh no, omen habet." " Bad omen." "Oh, ma petit raison." "Kiss my ass Suleiman..." "if you can find it." "Three white grape vines, and three black, praise the Lord Jesus Christs blessed saint name." "Oh, Maria, help us, lets drink this chalice ofwine!" "Oh, Maria, help us..." "Oh, thank you." "Gentleman, may we begin?" "Lazius, please!" "Game over." "Do you admit defeat?" " The great Padisah doesn't speak Hungarian." " Attila, get out!" "The game is over." "You admit that you lost?" " Peter, Hungarian!" " He doesn't understand." " Then I'll help." " Let him learn." "Fine." "Game over." "Do you admit defeat?" " The great Padisah doesn't speak Hungarian!" " Get going, Attila, go!" "Get lost!" "Say it:" "I admit it." "I ad-mit it." " I admit it." " Good." "Do you admit Mohacs never happened?" "I admit it." "Now saw:" ""Beauty is, beauty is... "." "Hello, hello!" "We're not there yet." "Lazius, sign this." " The great Padisah is illiterate." " Come on!" "Get lost!" " Illiterate?" " Come on, sign it as Suleiman." "Lazius, help him!" " Su..." " Su lei..." " With an "ei"?" "Like Leila." "...man." "... man." "Great!" "Gentleman!" "Kapa!" "Congratulations!" "You will all learn Hungarian." " When the class is over we will serve a special..." " Peter, Peter, in Hungarian!" "So, when the lesson is over, we will serve a traditional Hungarian dish, lamb stew." "It is by our ancestors that it was brought..." " In Hungarian!" "... imported." "Our ancestors brought it from the Etelkoz." "Let's hear that melodious Hungarian language." "Hey!" "What is this Hen mother!" "Do you live inside?" "Hey, hey, hey!" "And the Hungarian spirit?" "Hey!" "What is this Hen mother!" "Do you live inside?" "See, how gracious God is and what blessings He provides." "You've done well!" "Running up and down, even landing on their laps," "You think "I'll start to roost", and no one chases you out of this nest" " That's right." " They don't chase you out..." "Right, right, right." "But it's easier and faster to learn languages with music." "Sing with me:" "Beauty is, beauty is, those whose eyes are blue..." "I rather learn the song from that black guy." "The great Padisah would like to hear the song from the black kid." "Peter Almasi, Pal Almasi..." "Hajmasi!" "The barometer isn't running sufficiently," "Music is all I need, into the bass Ijump swiftly," "Peter Almasi, Pal Pityke." "The Chinese emperor..." "Just a minute!" "It's empty!" "I admit it." "I admit it." "I admit it." " I admit it." " Peter!" " Fuck!" " Where's the stew?" " I don't know, Kapa." " Where's the stew?" "Gone, stolen!" " Where is it?" " I put the meat in there, Kapa!" " And where is it?" "Where?" " I swear I put it in there." " I don't know." "They steal, they're corrupt, Kapa." " Who steals?" " Lets go back." " Who steals?" "Lets go back, to where we came from, ok?" " Where, where, where did we come from?" " The 21st century." "Peter, shut up!" "Shut up!" "Ok." "What's this?" "It stinks like piss, someone pissed on this." "Call it a smell, this is what we came with, this will take us back." "What?" "Under-secretary, sir, excuse me, can we really go back with this?" "It brought us here, so it will take us back somehow." " Put it here!" " Sorry, but how many can it hold?" " Max." "Three." " Fantastic, that's how many we are." "Right, I knew I'd be left behind." "Right, boss." "What about me?" "In technical terms it means your stuck here, my dear boy." "Sergeant." "I have no place to live, whatever." "Alright, Attila, piss off, ok?" "There are enough traitors in the 21st century." " With two fingers." " We can go back with this shit?" " What good is the human will?" " That's in it too." "What good is science?" "What good is technology?" " When you can travel with this pissed on little shit?" " Touch it, we're leaving." " Kapa, put your fingers on it!" " Come on." " Wow!" " Good." " It's got sprit." " For sure." "There aren't too many of us?" "Peter Almasi, Pal Almasi... the barometer isn't running sufficiently," "Music is all I need, into the bass Ijump swiftly," "Peter Almasi, Pal Pityke." "The Chinese emperor, in China doesn't live better, because when my heartis full of sorrow it's sadder." "No music for me, I don'twant to make my heart sicker." "The gypsy plays music, while three buckets go in the drinker," "If I'm in a good mood, I call the gypsy player." "Peter Almasi, Pal Almasi..." "The barometer says rain sometime," "Don't be sad, my rose, it's notworth a dime," "Don't be sad, we'll still have bread and wine." "Peter Almasi, Pal Almasi... the barometer isn't running sufficiently," "Music is all I need, into the bass Ijump swiftly," "Peter Almasi, Pal Pityke." "Oops!" "Hey!" "Don't spill a drop... go it?" "Don't spill a drop!" "Hungarians die, because of useless tripe like you!" "No one understands anything, for instance my women doesn't get me," "Doctors don't get death," "And everything quietly, Registers that, it's not understood here, Or it is, but then what should it say," "Understanding lives in light, No one says anything," "Judas only kissed, Jesus looked back," "Knowing all about the kiss." "He who searches, talks," "Who finds, stays quiet, Butno one understands anything," "Doctors don't get death." " Here, birdie, birdie!" " What are you doing, Peter, what are you doing?" " Feeding the peace doves." " Leave the stinking doves!" " Look!" "They're fat." " Look, he caught it, so cute..." "Let him alone, I told you to leave them!" " Look at the doves!" " What's your problem with them?" "Fat." "Overweight." "They shit all over the city." "Look!" "The whole city is full of dove shit." "I think they are cute." "By the time I learned my lesson," "There's a new one to learn," "By the time I went to the moon, everyone had returned," "By the time I found my dream," "You could buy it everywhere," "By the time I became fashionable," "I thought I was out of style." "I am good for nothing," "I can't do anything," "Just a little sex, but that makes everyone mad." "I'm no longer 20," "I have not hit 40," "I know how to be a winner," "Ijust don't feel like it" "By the time I got over my cold," "I was already dead," "By the time the doctor got here," "I had recovered." "By the time I found a star," "Someone, had brought it down," "By the time I got to the bridge," "Everyone hadjumped in." "I am good for nothing," "I can't do anything," "Just a little sex, but that makes everyone mad." "I'm no longer 20," "I have not hit 40," "I know how to be a winner," "Ijust don't feel like it" "By the time I felt something," "I'd over analysed, what itwill be like," "so it disappeared." "By the time I said it, the radio was playing it," "By the time I pulled the move, they had kicked the goal." "I am good for nothing," "I can't do anything," "Just a little sex, but that makes everyone mad." "I'm no longer 20," "I have not hit 40," "I know how to be a winner," "Ijust don't feel like it" "I am good for nothing," "I can't do anything," "Just a little sex, but that makes everyone mad." "I'm no longer 20," "I have not hit 40," "I know how to be a winner," "Ijust don't feel like it" "Distributed by Navigator Films and Leon Films"