"Hi." "Would you like to come in?" "Listen, Oliver, this is the last chance you're gonna have to talk to Paul before we move away." "Don't you at least wanna say goodbye to him?" "Oliver, your mom and I are gonna be in my office, talking." "So, if you feel like it, just... come in and join us anytime you want, okay?" "Whatever." "In Treatment, S02E33 Oliver:" "Week Seven" "I know you hate me." "Why would you say that, Bess?" "I'm doing everything you told me not to do." "So you have..." "You have decided to leave?" "First thing Saturday morning, packing up the U-Haul and driving upstate." "Can I ask you how Oliver is taking all this?" "Very badly." "Thanks for asking." "He's barely spoken to me all week." "And when he does, well, he... he's finding more and more colorful ways of telling me to fuck off." "If you've accomplished nothing else here, you've certainly helped him get in touch with his anger." "Do you feel that I have disappointed you?" "It's embarrassing to admit this now, but... when he first started coming here I was sure you'd be on my side." "Were you?" "You're so smart and reasonable," "I thought for sure you'd be able to get through to Oliver and maybe even knock some sense into Luke." "You had high hopes for me." "Then that night when I came to pick up Oliver's turtle... it was so clear to me that you live here all alone." "And something about..." "you know, the empty place, it just... seemed familiar to me, and I thought..." "I thought when I told you about my new job, you'd be more sympathetic." "It's not that I'm not sympathetic to you, but my job is to advocate for Oliver." "So if I feel that you're not acting in his best interest, I have to tell you." "Believe me, I know that where Oliver's concerned," "I'm making a bad situation even worse." "But I can't wake up in that house anymore." "And all I'm saying is that Oliver needs familiar things around him now." "And if he doesn't get those things, there may very well be consequences." "You know that announcement they make on planes about oxygen masks?" "You know how you should secure your own mask first before you help your child with his?" "I feel like that's what I'm doing now." "If you want my advice, I'd say that you should adjust your mask immediately, because your son really needs your help." "The way you're talking, it makes me wonder if I've spent Oliver's whole life finding different ways to be selfish with him." " What do you mean?" " Well, I mean..." "I had Oliver in the first place partly because..." "I was graduating." "I didn't know what else to do." "And then I spent the next 12 years entirely devoted to him, which helped me forget that I was... pathologically incapable of finishing my degree" "and that my husband and I weren't really getting along anymore." "And now here I am, violently uprooting him, all because I need a change of scene." "I think it's one of the hardest things about being a parent:" "trying to... weigh your own needs against those of your kid." "It's a constant balancing act." "Oliver told me, last week on the playground, he asked if he could come and live with you." "And when I said, "Why?", he said because he's happier with you than he is with me or Luke." "Is that right?" "Well, that's what he said." " It's probably the truth." " I don't think it's the whole truth." "What he really needs now is a home where he can feel safe." "You need to build that for him." "That's what you've got to remember." "He also said he was very angry that you wouldn't take him in when he asked you to." "Well, I think he's got every right to be." "I think you were his best friend." "And I'm taking him away from you." "I don't think he's ever gonna forgive me for that." "I don't think he should." "Come in." "Oh, Luke." "I wasn't expecting you." "I was in the neighborhood." "Why don't you join us?" "I've been at our old apartment all afternoon, packing things up to put in storage." "And suddenly I just... felt the need to talk to somebody." "And then I remembered it was Wednesday at 4:00, so I figured I'd already paid for the hour, so..." "When you were knocking we thought it was Oliver and that he was finally ready to talk." "No such luck." "He's sitting there like he's getting ready to strangle somebody." "At least he hasn't run away again." "Small blessings, right?" "I'm taking the next couple of days off to be with him before he and Bess move away." "But since he's not speaking to me," "I don't know what kind of activities we're gonna do." "I guess we could play a lot of charades, you know." "You said you wanted to talk about something." "What is it?" "I don't know, just this... memory I was having of the three of us moving into that place when Oliver was a baby." "I don't know... how we thought we could afford a whole brownstone floor." "We were living so far beyond our means." "And the place was a complete wreck." "The plaster was crumbling." "The walls were just buckling." "There were exposed wires everywhere you looked." "We were so deluded, we thought we could actually fix it up ourselves." "There was this pipe in the bathroom that... kept spurting little drops of hot water into the air." "I never could fix it, so we had to keep the window open all the time" " 'cause it was like a sauna in there." " Except it was the dead of winter." "And so, one morning, I was brushing my teeth, and... the warm air from the water pipe met the cold air from the window and it started raining on me inside." "The two of you have... an ease with each other that I've never seen before." "Why do you think that is?" "'Cause it's over?" "You knew it a long time before I did." "And then even when it was really clear to me, I was just too stubborn to let go." "I was pretty stubborn myself." "I was trying to... get you to be somebody you weren't... in a marriage I didn't want." "We were just... children... playing house." "If we didn't have Oliver " "All this time and effort, and that's all we are." "Just... two people who should have never gotten married." "Look, I'm sure that your understanding of what you are to each other will continue to evolve and change." "But now that you've reached this point, perhaps we can stop blaming each other for all the ways that you've failed your son." "And maybe you can finally work together to be his parents." "Because even if you feel that you've always been wrong for each other, he is the one thing, the one extraordinary thing that you have built together." "I'd better get back to the apartment 'cause I have a lot of packing to do." "You want me to come over later, help you pack up?" "Actually, I thought, maybe you'd like to take Oliver tonight." "I thought I wasn't supposed to get him until tomorrow." "It just occurred to me that maybe you'd like to spend some more time with him before we leave." "Okay." "Okay, I'm going to see if I can get Oliver to come in and talk." "Bess, I just want to say that I've been harsh at times," "but I really admire your courage." "Thank you." "So..." "Now I get the next two and a half days to make up for the past 12 years." "Are you worried about what's gonna happen once Oliver moves away?" "Bess will be trying to take care of Oliver while she's starting a new job." "I'll be driving up there and back twice every weekend." "Oliver will probably be more miserable than he is now." "It'll be a disaster." "Are you absolutely sure there's nothing else that you can do?" "I've gone over it a million times in my head, and I just don't know what else to do." "What, you think I'm excited about being a divorced dad, only seeing my kid on the weekend?" "It's not the way I wanted it." "Do you feel like... you've failed Oliver?" "Of course I do." "I know what it felt like to have my father erase me." "It's the main reason why I stayed married all these years, trying to avoid what's happening right now." "It's not too late to undo all this, you know." "Yes, it is." "I've already lost him." "That's become clear over the past couple of months." "Oh, yeah, he'll... let me buy him some sneakers or take him to see the Knicks, but he won't come to me when he has problems." "Look, he may be pulling away from you now because he's angry, but he still needs you very much." "I never really learned how to take care of him." "I always passed him off to Bess." "Truth is," "I probably never wanted to be a father in the first place." " Do you love your son?" " Yes." "Of course." "But look what I did last week." "I mean, Bess says she's moving away, and I didn't lift a finger to fight for Oliver." "I practically forced her to take him." "Because I didn't know how to handle him." "I understand there's a lot of things that you wish you'd done differently, but that's in the past." "The only thing that really matters now is the kind of father you're going to be to Oliver from here on out." "Right, so what do we have to look forward to?" "I'll see him less and less, right?" "I'll become the man who writes the checks." "Look, it doesn't have to be that bleak." "You have a lot of control over how big a part you play in his life." "Because the truth is, your relationship with Oliver, it's never going to be over." "He'll always want you to be his father." "So, you can't ever give up on him or yourself." "All right." "I understand." "So, do you have any tips to give me, any words of wisdom before you punch out?" "Nothing that you really want to hear." "The truth is, Luke, there's a good chance things are gonna get worse for Oliver and for you." "For a long time, he is going to be very angry at you." "And you're gonna have to keep loving him, no matter what." "You're gonna have to let him have his anger." "And you're gonna have to take it, just let him be who he is." " So just take it?" " And keep showing up." " All right, I think I can do that." " And take it step by step." "Right now you've got two and a half days with him, all to yourself." "Take advantage of that." "All right." "You know, before we go, I think you and Oliver should talk." "Yeah." "Let's try." "Hey, Oliver." "It's almost time to head out." "Do you want to go into the office and say goodbye to Paul?" "I understand why you might be mad with everything, but you know none of it is Paul's fault." "And I know you like him a lot." "And he really cares about you, too." "Maybe you're feeling too angry to talk right now, but someday," "I bet you won't be so angry anymore." "And you'll miss him." "And you'll be glad you had the opportunity to see him today." "So, what do you say?" "Okay." "All right." "Thank you, Luke." "How are you?" "You didn't help me at all." "Look..." "I'm sorry I let you down." "Everything got worse." "I wish I could solve all your problems, Oliver, but I just..." "I can't." "But one thing I can do is talk with you, about everything that's going on." "So what?" "Well, for one thing, maybe it will help you feel less alone." "I am alone." "And I'm not gonna get to see you anymore." "I know." "And that's why I'm really glad that we had this chance just to talk." "Why don't you tell me about your week?" "Let's begin there." "Today was my last day at school." "And how did that go?" "They had a going-away party for me." "My teacher made brownies." "Eric wasn't there, so that was good." "Why wasn't Eric there?" "He was in the hospital." "What's Eric doing in the hospital?" "He was lighting some M-80s and they exploded and blew his pinkie off." "That's pretty awful for Eric, don't you think?" "Why do you think he picked on you so much?" "Do you think it might have been because he had so many problems of his own, you know?" "Maybe." "So how is Maya doing?" "She got me a going-away gift." "Cool." "What did she get?" "That's sweet." "You're gonna miss her, right?" "I'll miss my house." "Your dad told me that he came over today to help you pack." "How was that?" "Weird." "Like he was living with us again, except he wasn't." "He and my mom both started to cry a little." "Both of them?" "So what was that like?" "I hated it." "You know, once when I was about your age, I saw my dad cry." "He was having a big fight with my mom." "They were yelling at each other." "I just wanted them to stop." "I guess I wanted them to be... to be just happy." "And it made me so pissed when I found out that... that they weren't." "So, what did you do?" "Well, I stayed pissed at them for a long time." "And then I realized that... even though my mom and dad got upset and they made big mistakes sometimes," "they still loved me." "What am I supposed to do?" "Okay..." "If you're not getting something that you need, tell them." "If you don't understand why something is happening, say:" ""Can you please explain this to me?"" "And if things get really upsetting and confusing, call me." "That way we can work together to try and solve the problem." "Does your son live far away?" "Hm-hmm." "I go visit him on weekends." "This Saturday I'm taking him to the air and space museum in Washington, D.C." "He likes to look at the rockets and the satellites especially." "Do you miss him?" "Yeah." "All the time." "But, see," "I'm with him whenever... whenever I can be." "And..." "I'm always thinking about him." "I mean, we talk on the phone every day." "So I get to hear what he has to say and I get to tell him what's going on with me." "That reminds me..." "I've got to make a call." "Can you give me a sec?" " Hello." " Hey, Oliver." "It's Paul in Brooklyn." "I just thought I'd check in and see how... how things were going, upstate." "This is dumb." "So, how are you?" "When did you move in?" "Last week." "And how has it been going so far?" "Okay, I guess." "Where's your house?" "In the middle of nowhere." "Do you like your room?" "Not really." "In Brooklyn, my room is painted blue." "What if you and your mom go to the hardware store and buy some blue paint?" "That way your room... your room can look the same as it did in Brooklyn." "I guess." "How are you and your mom getting on these days?" "She's really busy." "She's teaching a lot, so I don't get to see her very much." "But you have dinner together every night, yeah?" " Yeah." " And then you tell her..." "You tell her all about your day." "Yeah." "Has your dad come up to visit you?" "Not yet, but..." "This weekend he's coming to get me and we're going to the city." "Cool." "But I'm not sure what we're gonna do there." "When you talk to him, maybe you could just make a list of the things that you want to do." "Maybe, I don't know, go to a basketball game, maybe even go back to that restaurant where you had the paella." "That'd be fun." "So how are things going at school?" "All the kids are strange." "I bet there's... one or two kids that you kind of like." "It's gonna take a while, Oliver." "Everything's gonna be new and strange for a bit." "But I think you're gonna do okay." "I think things are gonna work out and you're just going to be fine." " I have to go now." " Oh, it's dinner time?" "Yeah." "I'll call you next week." "Goodbye, Oliver." "I should go now." "Well, we still have a little bit of time." "Is there anything else that you... that you want to talk about?" "Synchro: michvanilly, salomon + HQS edit"