"Uncle Jesse, let's play a game." "You wanna play a game?" "I'll play a game." "What game do you wanna play?" "Our laughing game?" " I'm gonna win." " You're dreaming." "You remember how to play?" "You try to make me laugh, and I try to make you laugh and whoever laughs first, loses." "Okay, you ready?" "On your marks, get set, go." "Oo-oo-oo." "Hey." "Ow!" "Ow!" "Okay, you win." "You win." "Ow, ow!" "[SINGING] We are Chi Sigma Sigma Chi Sigma squared" "We are Chi Sigma Sigma So girls be prepared" "Ooga-chukka, ooga-chukka, ooga-chukka, oo!" "Our 10-year fraternity reunion tonight." "You know how long I've been waiting for this?" "Ten years." "Can't take it anymore." "Living in this city is driving my crazy." "Oh, come on, Jess, take it easy." "Joseph, I have just spent the last hour stuck in traffic sucking black smoke from the back end of a bus." "Why didn't I go around, you ask?" "Because that's where the guy with the jackhammer was." "But did the most obnoxious noise in the world bother me?" "No." "It was a nice distraction from the stray pit bull chewing on my boot." " Are you okay?" " Yes, I'm fine." "The pit bull was distracted by some kid who whizzed by on a skateboard spray-painting graffiti on my helmet." "Well, it goes great with the pink stripe on your jacket." "He put that there too." "Guys, you know what I need?" "I need a nice drive through the wilderness." "Let the wind blow through my hair, sun in my face." "I'll cruise through the pine trees and the redwoods." "Cruise through the flowers." "I'd better cruise by the pharmacy first because I'm allergic to all those things." "I'm out of here." "Joey, have you seen my Chi Sigma Sigma sweater?" " I'd love to wear it to the reunion." " Don't you remember?" "Our brothers burned it the night you let the Lambda Tau Delta girls steal our fraternity seal." "Hey, they jumped me when I was trying to clean it." "Danny, they tickled you to the ground." "Our whole fraternity was disgraced." "I just hope you're prepared to relive that shame tonight." "Oh, man." "I wish there was some way to get that seal back." "And there is." "The Greek houses are having their 10-year reunion." "We'll just steal the seal back from the same girls who stole it from us." "Don't you think we're a little old for some stupid college prank?" "No." "It's up to you, Danny." "Do you wanna be fraternity dud?" "Or fraternity stud?" "I'm gonna be the stud." "NEWSCASTER:--the Soviets have been borrowing to import consumer goods trying to put something in the shops to quell popular" "[ROCK MUSIC]" "Kimmy, we have to watch the news for our homework." "The news will be old tomorrow but the top-10 video countdown is good for a week." "But, Kimmy, our grades will stay on our record forever." "New plan." "Why don't we bring this TV upstairs?" "Then we can watch two TVs at once." "Kimmy, that is not a bad idea." "Okay, lift on three." "One, two, three." "What are you doing?" "We're taking this TV upstairs so we can watch the music videos and the news at the same time." "Pretty smart idea I had, huh?" "If you're so smart, why don't you just bring the little TV downstairs?" "Yeah, Kimmy." "Why didn't you bring the little TV downstairs?" "Because we needed the exercise." "But now that we're pumped, I'll go get the little TV." "What?" "Why?" "How?" "Who?" "Whoa, baby." "Mr. Tanner, I am really, really sorry." "It was all my idea." "It was your idea to throw my television over the banister?" "No, no, no." "We have a really good explanation." "See, we wanted to watch the music videos and do our homework at the same time and" "You know, it sounded better before I said it." "I am really, really, really sorry." " I talked D.J. into it." " I appreciate your honesty." "But just because you thought of a dumb idea, doesn't mean D.J. had to go along." "It seems every time you get together, there's some kind of trouble." "Good point, Pop." "Kimmy, I think it's time for you to go." "Okay, but I want you to know that I am really really, really, really, really, really, really sorry." "For the next three weeks, you are not allowed to see or talk to Kimmy Gibbler." "But, Dad, she's my best friend." "I don't even know why you hang out with her." "You have nothing in common." "Except maybe school work, and that's only because she copies it." "Now, go on up to your room." "Well, I guess we told her." "How do you do that?" "Well, you go, clap, clap, one, two, three, clap, one...." "Why don't I teach you Patty Cake instead?" "Okay." "I hope it's fun." "D.J., shouldn't you be getting dinner ready?" "Oh, right now, Dad." "I'll teach you Patty Cake later." " Pinky swear?" " Pinky swear." "Danny, I have everything we need to get our seal back." "Don't worry, it's the perfect plan." " Oh, yeah?" "What is it?" " You'll just have to trust me." " Come on, Joey, tell me." " Trust me." " Why won't you tell me?" " Because I don't trust you." "STEPHANIE:" "Bye, Dad." "Bye, Joey." " See you later." "[WOMEN CHATTER INDISTINCTLY]" "Now, come on, we're just gonna grab the seal and leave." " Can't we just leave?" " No, come on." "Wait, we can't do this." "Thank goodness, you've come to your senses." "No, you're lopsided." "That's it." "I'm out of here." " Hi" " Hello." "I'm Mary Ann, class of '80." "[IN HIGH PITCHED VOICE] Hi, I'm Sheila, and I have no class." "Oh, she's such a funster." "Hello, I'm April." "Forgive me, but I don't remember either of you and I'm pretty sure I would." "Oh, well, we didn't belong to the San Francisco chapter." " We're from the Midwest." " Oh, where?" " Missouri." " Illinois." "It was a very big campus." " Well, have a good time." " Thank you." "Bye." "Oh, hi." "You look great." "How do they walk like that?" "I don't know, but I'm glad they do." "We can do that." " Hi." " Hi." " Hi, excuse us." " Hi." "Joey, there's the seal." "JOEY:" "I'll go check it out." " Okay." " Need a hand?" " Excuse me?" "I've had my eyes on you from the moment you walked in." "You're not like the other girls." "Thank you for noticing." "A couple of tall timbers like us could start quite a forest fire." "Here's my card." "Later." "You, me, lambada." "How rude." "Excuse me." "Hello." "Joey, Joey." "That waiter just tried to pick me up." "Don't settle for anything less than a doctor." "Come on." " Excuse us." "Hi." " Excuse us." "Look, Danny, there's women everywhere." "I'll create a diversion, you break in, grab the seal." "Got it." "[IN HIGH PITCHED VOICE] Listen up, girls." "[WHISTLES]" "Girls, how do I say this?" "This party is rather boring." "Now, in the Illinois chapter we used to roast weenies and burp Tupperware." "But our favorite was the limbo." "[TURNS MUSIC ON]" "Sounds like fun." "Okay, everybody ready?" "Line up." "You take a turn too, Sheila." " Come on." " Sheila, baby." "How low can I go?" "I'm a limbo bimbo." "This bimbo's a man." "Oh, thank goodness." "I don't have to live this lie another minute." "Grab the" "[IN NORMAL VOICE] Grab the seal." "WOMAN 1:" "Stop him." "WOMAN 2:" "Lock the door." "Lock the door." " Joey." " Danny, I'm open." "Got it." "Good." "It's the geek!" "Tickle him!" "Oh, no." "Go, Joey." "Oh, no, stop it." "Stop, you're killing me." "WOMAN 1:" "Get them up." "WOMAN 2:" "Let's get them up." "Hey, this isn't funny." "It's not supposed to be." "I'm a police officer." "And you're both under arrest for attempted burglary." "You tease." "Joey, why are you still wearing that wig?" "Because, otherwise I'd look silly." "Well, what do we have here?" "A fashion violation?" "Hey, this happens to be a copy of a very expensive ensemble." "And this happens to be jail." "Shut up." "Well, it's too bad you couldn't pay your bail." "Didn't your mother tell you to always put emergency money in your purse?" "That's what you get for messing with Lambda Tau Delta." "In you go, gentlemen." "Guess what?" "It's happy hour." "Excuse me, we're kind of new at this." "You wouldn't per chance have a training cell, would you?" "Move it." "Would you try to act tough." "You're sweating like a pig." "It's these wimpy women's deodorants." "They just don't cut it." "So what did you lugs get busted for?" "Scalping." "Tickets?" "No." "Excuse me, your criminalities, it's time for my phone call." "Sergeant, phone call." "You guys like Popeye?" "[LAUGHS LIKE POPEYE]" "Okay, Michelle, now here's how you play Patty Cake." "Patty cake, patty cake" "[PHONE RINGS]" "Hold on." "Aw, nuts." "Hello?" "Yes, I'll accept the charges." "Sweetheart, I have a little bit of a problem." "Joey and I, we pulled kind of a silly prank tonight and we're sort of in jail." "You're where?" "I don't wanna scare your sisters." "Listen carefully to me, I want you to call Grandma or Becky give them the checkbook on my dresser and have them come down to the police station and bail us out immediately." "Okay, don't worry, Dad, you can count on me." " Thanks, honey." "JOEY:" "Danny." "Oh, and D.J.?" "Hurry." "Danny, are we out of here?" " Danny?" "Danny?" " Bail is on the way." "Danny?" "I think I know you." "Aren't you Danny Tanner?" "That depends." "Does that make you happy or sad?" "You're the host of Wake Up, San Francisco." "I love that show." "You have a big following in prison." "Really?" "Did you catch my segment on Southwestern cooking last week?" " Loved it." " It's interesting because we don't simulate cooking." "We really cook it on the stove." "Your dad's in the slammer?" "Shh!" "What did he do?" "DustBust a cop?" "I don't know what he did, but I can't find Grandma or Becky so I have to go down myself and bail him and Joey out." "Kimmy, you're not allowed in this house for three weeks." "You're in big trouble, mister." "It's okay." "I have to go out, so Kimmy's gonna watch you." "Wouldn't we stand a better chance taking care of ourselves?" "I just have to run an errand." "[CAR HORN]" "That's my cab." "Don't worry, Steph, everything will be fine." "What about my Patty Cake?" "I'll teach you your Patty Cake later." "Aw, nuts again." " What's wrong?" " Never fear, Gibbler's here." "Oh, I feel much better now." "Will you teach me Patty Cake?" "Sure, I'll teach you, squirt." "Thank you, but don't call me squirt." "[SINGING]" "We're available in three to five years." "Great." "I'll have my parole officer call your parole officer." " Yes." " Yes." "Excuse me, I'm looking for Danny Tanner." "Blue dress." "Dad, Joey, what have they done to you guys?" "The sad part is we did this to ourselves." "D.J., what are you doing here?" "Well, Grandma and Becky weren't home, so I had to come down myself." "But don't worry about Stephanie and Michelle, Kimmy's watching them." "Yeah, this night just keeps getting better and better." "Tanner?" "Gladstone?" "The sorority took a vote, we decided you've been humiliated enough." "We're dropping the charges." "Oh, thank you." "Danny, we're free." "Never ever hug me when I'm in prison." "[IN UNISON] Patty cake, patty cake Baker's man" "Bake me a cake as fast as we can" "Roll it, pat it Mark it with a "B"" "Put it in the oven For you and me" "Good job." "We're back." "Daddy's a girl." "No, he's a woman." "An ugly woman." "I guess you girls are wondering why we're wearing these clothes." "Well, I can explain it all in just four words:" "It's all Joey's fault." "So is everything okay here?" "Kimmy taught me Patty Cake." "She's really an excellent babysitter." "Well, I'm very happy and incredibly shocked to hear that." "You girls should go to bed." " Good night, Kimmy." " Good night, Steph." "Come on, Michelle." "I just hugged Kimmy Gibbler." "Dad and Joey are in dresses." "What a day." "Kimmy, thank you for all your help." "You did a good job tonight." "So I'm gonna take a week off of your banishment." "Thanks, Mr. T." "I guess a stretch in the big house really mellows a guy out." "You guys haven't said a word to each other since I sprung you." "I am sick of Joey and his dumb ideas." "Dad, now you said it doesn't matter who thinks up the dumb idea if the other person goes along with it." "But I didn't wanna go along with this." "But you did." "And do you know why you did?" " Because you made me." " No, because you need fun in your life." "One day we're gonna look back at this and laugh our heads off." "I doubt it." "Dad, you might wanna take a look in the mirror." "If we teased our hair and contoured our cheek bones a little bit, we'd be" "We'd still be the ugliest women in the world." "[LAUGHING]" "When you guys laugh like that, it sounds just like me and Kimmy." "Well, I guess, in a way, Joey is sort of my Kimmy Gibbler." "Thanks a lot, Danny." "No, no." "I mean, you make my life crazier." "Heck, Joey, if it wasn't for you, I'd be wearing pants right now." "So bosom buddies?" "Joey, we're out of prison, give me a hug." "Thank God I'm back in the city." " Jess, where have you been?" " I've been lost in the woods." "No street signs, because there are no streets because no one in their right mind goes in the woods." "Man, what happened to you?" "Mother Nature kicked my butt." "Whoa!" "Did you run into a pudding truck?" "I'm glad you're having fun." "No, it just so happens I jumped into a swamp." "I saw in a Yogi Bear cartoon if a horde of bees are chasing you, they won't follow you into a swamp." "FYI, Yogi was wrong." "Were you attacked by a wild animal?" "No, I got thrown off my motorcycle." "It was spooked by a snake." "Or a snake-like twig." "Look, why don't you go get upstairs, take a bath" " Danny?" " Yeah?" "Is that a pearl earring you're wearing?" "Is there anything you'd like to talk to me about?" "You don't wanna know." "I'm gonna go wash up." "I've had a strange day." "Although, yours might have been a little stranger." "Subtitles by SDI Media Group" "[ENGLISH SDH]"