"(Man) I call." "£3,000 says you're a no-good, bluffing son of a bitch." "Now, is that any way to talk to an old friend?" "You're a con man, which means you're lucky I accept you as an acquaintance." "(Clears throat) Yusef, you've got to start working on your people skills." "My people skills are fine." "Just show me your motherbluffing hand." "Two pairs." "Full house!" "(Laughs)" "Go tell that to Obama!" "(All laughing)" "(Albert) Two pairs." "Nines." "Nines." "Four of a kind." "I win again." "I should have known." "My father told me, never trust a Yank." "We should listen to our parents." "I'm sorry." "I just couldn't resist." "It was hysterical." "Yes, I nearly pissed my pants." "Look, much as I love giving you lot my life savings, can we call it a night?" "Or a morning." "Without giving me a chance to win my money back?" "Shame on you." "Yusef, you'll get another opportunity." "(Albert) It's your call." "Well, I'm going to beat you to death with £20?" "(Albert) Wait, wait." "I'm going to give you a break here." "Let's flip a coin, all right?" "Five to one." " Albert!" " Five to one?" "(Albert) Mm-hm." "I accept." "Michael?" "OK." "Yusef, your call." "Heads." "(Yusef) For 30 years, I called tails." "This time, I call heads." "(Ash) So, why the change?" "Well, I'm surrounded by con men." "Maybe one of you has a double-headed coin." "Yusef, that is very hurtful." "So sue me for the loose change your friend has left me with." "Same time next week?" "You bet your Yankee ass." "(Chuckles)" "You asked to see me, madam?" " You are the head concierge?" " Yes." "Do you know what a grifter is, Gerald?" "I am familiar with the term, madam." "And as head concierge at one of London's most prestigious hotels," "I guess there are some of these grifters who like you to tell them when there's a high roller in town." "I can assure you, madam, that this hotel..." "In which case, you'll know where I can find Albert Stroller." "I told you you shouldn't have bluffed." "(All speaking indistinctly)" "(Ash) Morning, Ed." "He doesn't look happy." "Since when did I become your flaming' postal address?" "Did we get a letter, Eddie?" "No, you didn't, cos if you did, that would be easy, cos a letter, I'd just hand it over the bar, wouldn't I?" "We wouldn't need to be having this conversation, would we?" "Then why are we?" "That!" "Took four blokes to get it in." "(Emma) Did anyone order anything?" "Somehow, I wasn't expecting that." " Well, I'll be." " Who is it?" " That..." " Is Cool Hand Cooper." "(Albert) Yeah." "Is he dead?" "There's only one way to find out." "Nah, he's still warm." "Bugger me." "And there was me thinking I'd go to heaven." "Well, put kettle on." "I thought you were doing a 15." "I am." "You make a mistake, you gotta deal with the man." "Mm." "And on account of my good behaviour," " they moved me to a soft nick." " So you done a runner." "Hey, it was very nice of Her Majesty to put me up, but I was worried in case I outstayed my welcome." "Any chance of a bit of brekkie?" "How long were you in that crate?" "I caught the last post yesterday." "I spent a night in the box." "(Mickey) Eddie." "Yes?" "Breakfast, please." "Anything special?" "Oh, I can eat 50 eggs." "But I'll, er..." "I'll start with three." "Scrambled." "Can you chuck a bit of bacon at it?" "She's fit." "Uh, I am here, you know." "Luke, this is Emma and this is Emma's brother." "Oh, bit of a step up, isn't it?" "I mean, you never had the best looking crew, did you?" "Oi!" "Oi!" "Do you want a slap?" "So, the crate." "Explain." "Opportunity, Mickey." "Opportunity and necessity." "There was this cost-cutting initiative." "Getting lags to sort through parcel mail." "There I was, just looking at this empty crate." "Kind of hard to pass up, really, so I posted myself here." "Why us?" "Because you lot are the most intelligent people I know." "Or, to put it another way," "I'm kind of up shit creek and you're my paddle." "How come?" "I went down for this bank job that I did." "Summer of 2002." "Outer perimeter was a doddle." "We got through the internal security with the help of someone we had on the inside." "Nathalie, her name was." "Like Natalie, but with an "H"." "(Lock clicks)" "(Door opens)" "She had lips like sink plungers." "Can we get on with it, please?" "Sorry." "(Explosion)" "So we blasted our way into the vault, started ransacking the safety deposit boxes." "Nathalie gave us a steer towards this one box." "So what was in it?" "Diamonds." "Must have been a hundred of 'em." "Kind of went downhill from there." "Nathalie lost her bottle and grassed us all up." "So we split up." "You know, a man's gotta go his own way." "Next thing I know, we're all being picked up one by one." "I mean, they recovered most of the cash, but I'd held on to the sparklers." "So..." " I buried 'em." " Where?" "Ha!" "I've got a map." "Ah, it's a proper treasure map." "(Cooper) It was an old plant machinery yard." "Honestly, guys, there must be..." "there must be millions just sitting there." "Why didn't you get someone else to pick them up?" "That's a good question, Albert, and I'm glad you asked me." "See, the thing is, it was nearly 10 years ago and it's sort of been built on..." " a bit." " Built on by what?" "(Siren wailing)" "Yeah, well, I can see why that might be a problem." "So, hang on, I still don't get it." "Why break out of prison?" "(Cooper) The bank we turned over was the London branch of the Banca Populare di Sicilia." " Italian?" " Exactamundo." "Anyway, it turns out that the diamonds belonged to a very important client of theirs." "One who just happened to have nicked 'em from another bank the year before." "When you say "important client..."" "(Mickey) Oh, no!" "So, this client operates the family business?" "Got it in one, Albert." "The mafia?" " I'm the last one of the gang to be released." " And what happened to the others?" "Sort of..." "Got shot." "The thing is... it's my parole next week... and if they'd let me out, there'd be two guys with lumpy jackets waiting for me." "This way, you help me find the diamonds first," "I cut you in, then I fly to Bangkok." "You know, it's win-win." "Come on!" "See you later, Coop." "Yeah, don't call us." "We'll call you." "(American accent) Now, what we got here is a failure... to communicate." "Cooper's escaped." "Get in." "(Sean) So, where do you know this guy from?" "(Ash) Coops?" "I knew him for years before he got sent down." "He was the best safe man in the country in his time, taught me nearly everything I know." "An artist." "Even though he travels in a crate?" "Well, always could think on his feet." "The main thing now is to create as much distance as we can between us and him." " Yeah, that gets my vote." " (Siren approaching)" "Well, the only link to us is the crate, and if they work out what happened and find the address that it was sent..." "Yeah, but it was sent to Eddie, not us." "(Siren stops)" "(Albert) What's going on?" "(Sean) Eddie!" "(Ash) Cor blimey, Ed." "(Coughs)" "(Eddie) I don't get it." "There was nothing on, really." "There was no chip fryers, there was no grills." "I'd only gone to the cash and carry for an hour." "What, so you weren't here when it happened?" "Well, I ran back inside, like." "You know, see if I could save anything, but there was too much smoke." "Well, at least you're all right." "Shit." "What happened?" "Three guesses." "I just can't work out what could have started it." "Eddie, it could have been..." "It could have been anything." "Yeah." "Dodgy electric sockets." " (Mickey) Boilers..." " Rats chewing through cables." " Mafia." " (Ash) Faulty appliances." "Come on, we should take you to the penthouse." " Did he just say mafia?" " (Emma) Yeah." "Susan?" "Well, I've dragged you out of some dives in the past, Albert, but I think this one tops the list." "(Chuckles)" "So where do you reckon he knows her from?" "Blast from the past if you ask me." "Whoever she was, it freaked him out." "You could see it on his face." "This place is mint." "Coop, get in here." "Listen, whoever she was," "I'm sure Albert will tell us in his own sweet time when he is good and ready, but right now, let's not forget we still have a problem." "Yeah, to put it mildly." "(Mickey) Right, let's think this through." "This is the mafia we're talking about." "You can't shake them off and they tend not to accept polite apologies." "Em, he just said mafia again." "And they traced Cooper back to us." "Well, technically, they traced him back to Eddie." "Hang on, are you saying the mafia, like on the telly?" "No, Eddie, not like on the telly." "Yeah, not as cuddly in real life." "It's a short step from Eddie to us." "So, what, we're next?" "The way I see it, the only way out is to give them what they want." "But that's buried under a police station." "Yeah, I know, I know, I know, I know." "Coop, the guy you said these diamonds belonged to," " do you have a name?" " Bachini." "Carlo Bachini." "Ash, check him out." "Find out how high up the food chain he is." "Sean, get me a set of plans for that police station." " All right." " Emma, check out the station itself, personnel, civilian staff, everything you can." " OK." " (Eddie) Hang on a minute." "What, so it was the mafia that burnt down my bar?" "God, he's like lightning, isn't he?" "It's like the Sopranos." "(Mimics mobster) Hey, forget about it." "Hm!" "Right." "Let's meet back here in three hours." "(Albert) So, 30 years after you walked out on me, you've suddenly realised you'd made a mistake and you came to beg me to take you back." "(Chuckles) Now, that would be something, wouldn't it?" "Yes, it would." "Yeah." "But that's not it, is it?" "No." "Although there was a time, around two weeks after I left, when that's exactly what I was going to do." "Even bought a plane ticket home." "Why didn't you?" "Because the morning I was due to leave," "I found out that I was pregnant." "Um, are you thirsty?" "Put a bit of effort into it." "I'm shaking it, boss, I'm shaking it." "Here you go, lads." "(All speaking indistinctly)" "Cheers." "(Laughing)" "(Albert) So you didn't think that I had the right to know?" "(Sighs) In a word, no." "And why not?" "Because you were a gambler and a grifter." "Now, look..." "What was I going to do?" "Follow you from con to con?" "City to city?" "Poker game to casino with a child in my arms?" "Yeah, or stay at home, not knowing when you'd be back, whether you'd won or lost, whether it was gonna be champagne or thugs banging at my door." "Yeah, I lived like that for five years and I loved it, at first, every second." "It was exciting." "But it wasn't the life for a child." "And you felt you had the right to make that decision on your own?" "Yes, I did." "I could have stopped gambling." "The grift, I could have gotten a regular job." "(Sighs)" "Look, you would have promised." "Even meant it." "And I would have believed you." "And it would have destroyed you when you let me..." "When you let us down." "I had a beautiful baby girl." "Kathleen." "A shock of hair, eyes so blue you could have fallen in and swum around." "The most precious thing in the world." "And every day of her life, from that day to this," "I loved her enough for both of us." "(Sighs)" "And..." "I've hated myself every one of those days for not sharing her with you." "(Softly) No, no." "No." "I'm so sorry." "(Sighs)" "I married a good man when Kathleen was four." "He treated her as his own." "As she was growing up, I often thought about finding you again, telling you about her but, Albert, what would you have done?" "Turn up out of the blue with armfuls of presents when you'd won," "empty promises when you'd lost." "I wanted better for her." "Huh!" "So why tell me now?" "Because she wants to meet you." "(Chuckles)" "(Ash) OK, the Bachini family operate on the West Coast, mainly in Vegas, but they've got interests in Europe, including London." "Carlo Bachini is the youngest son of Vito, a bit heavy-handed, by all accounts, but not generally considered to be the sharpest knife in the drawer." "Vito's embarrassed because Carlo's the only member of the Bachini family with a criminal record." "Two counts of assault and one for non-payment of a parking fine." "Word has it, one more strike and he's out." "Hey, Albert." "Hi." "So where do we find him?" "Uh, lap dancing club in the West End." "What about the police station?" "Well, Sean got the original plans and, if Coops's map is accurate then, as far as I can make out, the diamonds should be about nine feet under the canteen floor." " Nine feet?" " Yeah, he had a mini digger." "I think we can assume the diamonds weren't discovered during the building phase or we'd have heard about it." " But?" " Well, even if we could get in, once we get through the floor, the footings are two metres of reinforced concrete, so we'd need some serious machinery." "Once we cut through that, a few more feet of soil and we should be there." "Sounds easy if you say it quick." "Emma, what about the station itself?" "Staff of about 80 or so, 15 of which are civilian support staff." "But on any given day there could be another 20 with traffic wardens, community support officers." "Night shift?" "Maybe half that." "OK, find out who authorises building maintenance at the station." "Get me a list of pre-approved contractors." "Sean, once Emma has that list, find out who takes care of drains." "Drains?" "Ash, you should start working on electronic security at the station." "Bachini will find his way to us soon enough, so I'll see if I can buy us some time." "What, are you gonna talk to him?" "Well, I've got to start somewhere and that's as good a place as any." "Well... maybe I should come with you." "No." "I mean the fewer of us he knows about, the better." " I'll be careful." " All right." " So... everything all right?" " Yeah." "Why shouldn't it be?" "And that woman at Eddie's?" "Oh, that was an old friend." "Right." " So nothing to worry about then?" " Not at all, no." "Now, Albert," "I've known you... long enough... to know that that isn't true." "And you've known me... long enough to know that I know that." "It's complicated." "Isn't it always?" "Look, Michael, I appreciate your concern, but it's kind of personal." "I want to be able to work it out on my own." "All right?" "OK." "Oh, incidentally, I won't be available for a couple of days, I guess." "Yeah, no, that's fine, no problem." "We'll manage." "But, Albert, if there's something you need, however small, you just shout and, mafia or no mafia, I will come running." "OK, Michael." "There is a guy to see you." "He's a friend of Cool Hand Cooper." "Mm-hm." "So, you're a friend of Cooper?" "What's on your mind?" "I believe he has something you want." "The diamonds he stole from you." "You've got some balls." "So, what's this?" "He send you to negotiate?" "OK." "Here's my opening offer." "You bring me my stones by midnight and I won't shoot you and everyone who knows you in the face." "That can't be done." "Really?" "Cooper doesn't have the stones." "He buried them before he was arrested." "Now, I can get them back for you, but it's gonna take some time." "So you know where they are?" "No, he's a little hazy on the exact location, which is why it might take a while." "Then why are we even having this conversation?" "A good friend of mine had his bar burnt down yesterday." "Well, that's the thing with vermin - sometimes you have to smoke them out." "Mr Bachini, I will get you your stones." "I just need you to call off your dogs while I do it." "I guess you know who I am, which makes you either very stupid or very brave to come here." "Midnight tomorrow." "Those stones, or your nuts in my hand." " How'd it go?" " Nothing a change of underwear won't fix." " Did you buy us some time?" " A little." "It'll take a minimum of a week to get everything in place." " Four days?" " Hmm." "Well, OK, at a push and taking more risks than we should, we can go in three." "We have to go tomorrow." "Like I said, tomorrow's perfect." "Where are we?" "Well, I checked out the utility companies, and two are approved for drainage work in the station." "OK." "(Sean) Look, Mick, I know you're brilliant and everything, but do you seriously expect us to break into a police station in the middle of the night and dig a nine-foot hole in the canteen floor?" "Of course not." "We'll do it in broad daylight." "Emma, start working on getting us security passes from the utility companies." "Ash, you're gonna have to start sourcing the material we're gonna need." "What about me?" "I've got a special job for you." "Oi!" "What are you doing in there?" "(Exclaims)" " You all right?" " I'm sorry." "According to the plans, kitchen ventilator's on the side, only one CCTV camera on the wall looking back." "Monitor's in the custody suite." "What about the gate?" "Wireless remote." "Should be OK if I can find the right frequency." "OK, Sean, do your stuff." "It's not exactly high security, is it?" "Well, when you think about it, there's not too many people stupid enough to break into a police station, is there?" "(Mickey chuckles)" "Oh!" "(Mickey chuckles)" "(Irish accent) OK, then." "Here we go!" "(Irish accent) Here we go!" "(Glass shatters)" "Hey!" "Come on!" "You what?" "!" "Come on!" "You!" "Don't you..." " Don't you touch me!" " Calm down!" "(inaudible)" "His name is Michael Stone," "AKA Mickey Bricks." "He runs a grifting crew, pretty high-end by the sound of it." "Can I trust him?" "He knows Cooper from way back, so maybe he's being straight or just helping out a friend." "Put a couple of guys on him." "First sign that he's playing games, take him for a drive." "OK, boss." "(Susan) Albert, this is Kathleen." "Hello." "Hello. (Clears throat)" "Come on, sleeping beauty." "Wakey, wakey." "Let's get a bit of information on who you are." " Come on, give me some information here." " Don't you touch me!" " Come here!" " Don't touch me!" "(Sean) I'm gonna escape!" "(Groans)" "Don't you touch me!" "D'you know who I am?" "Get asleep!" " (Waiter) Would you like dessert?" " Thanks." "Uh, yes, thank you." "Uh, not for me, thank you." "It's strange seeing you two together." "(Chuckles) Yeah." "I think it's time you two talked alone." "Albert..." "Kathleen and I have no secrets from each other." "Everything I know about you, she does, too." "(Softly) Thank you." "This must be weird for you too, huh?" "(Chuckles) Yeah." "Just a little, yes." "You know she still loves you." "Truth is, I don't think she ever stopped." "Well, I guess she loved you more." "She believes she did what was right for me." "Yeah, I know." "And what do you think?" "Was she right?" "Probably." "Good answer." "What about you?" "Are you married?" "Yes." "Aaron." "It's been six years now." " We have two sons." " Mmm." " Anthony and Benjamin." " Mm-hm." "You're a grandfather." "I'm a grandfather." "(Sighs)" "(Emma) Poor Sean." "(Ash) He'll be all right." "It's character-building." " They'll let him out in the morning?" " Yeah, as long as he behaves himself." "Now we just have to wait for the shit to hit the fan." "I still think we need an edge." "What kind of edge?" "Well, I was thinking..." "It might be nice, when we start digging up the police station, if there's no policemen in it." "(Albert) They're fine-looking lads." "(Laughs)" "Well, you can keep that if you like." "Well, thank you very much." "Um..." " Can I ask you a question?" " Yes." "Your mother said that you wanted to meet with me." "I mean, she never kept me from you." "I always knew, all I had to do was ask." "Somehow, it... it felt disrespectful to Dad." "My stepfather." "So, Mom would tell me stories about you when we were on our own." "It sounded so exciting." "Casinos, London, Paris..." "Times you had to run away in the middle of the night because people were chasing you." " Well, that was not so funny." " (Both chuckle)" "So, you kind of became my superhero." " Oh, well." " Out in the big world." "Having exciting adventures." "I liked that." "And as for the "why now" part, well..." "Dad died eight months ago." " Oh, I'm so sorry." " Me, too." "Anyway... finally I get to meet my superhero." "Oh, I'm hardly that, I'll tell you." "I just thought maybe we could be friends." "Visit sometimes." "Maybe meet the boys." "I'd love that." "Really, very much." "Mom says you'll let me down." "Well, I guess I never did anything to make her believe otherwise." "I hope not." " Will you do something for me?" " If I can, yes." " I've told you about my life." " Yeah?" "Now show me yours." " My life?" " Your life." "Well..." "Hello, Mr Stroller!" "Welcome back!" "What's this?" "OK." "(Ash) That... is for later." "Right..." "Oh dear!" "Oh, God!" "Right on." "(Laughs)" " It was just as I imagined." " Well, I'm glad." "I just wanted to see the real you." "Oh, you mean the sad, old man who doesn't know when to quit, huh?" "The man my mother fell in love with." "You know, she never really explained why she left." "Oh, well, we had this flat right off the West End." "I was very happy there." "But she found this house... and she took me to see it 11 times." "I mean, she was obsessed." "She redecorated the whole thing in her head, she picked out the furniture, she even made a list of people she was going to invite to the housewarming." "Yeah, that sounds like Mom." "So, we got enough money together to put down an offer, and I..." "I remember... her face was like a three-year-old on Christmas morning." "I've got this horrible feeling I know what's coming next." "Yeah, there was this high-stakes game, and I figured I could win enough to buy the house outright and surprise her." "But it didn't work out that way?" "Yeah, I had a queen high straight on the river." "Turn the card over, queen of hearts." "Gave the other guy a flush." "So my whole life changed on the turning over of one card." "You lost the house?" "No, I lost everything." "Within three months, I'd won it all back and I could have bought the house twice over, but... by then..." "there was no one to buy it for." "Don't you ever wonder what might have happened if you'd turned over a different card that night?" "Well, gamblers only remember their winnings." "That way they can justify what they do." "Well, sounds like a hell of a life." "Oh, it is, it is, yeah." "Like the man said," ""It's not where you start that counts." "It's where you finish."" "And speaking of finishing, your mother's going to be wondering where you are." "Better get going." "Thank you." "I've had the best time." "And I have, too." "Really." " What a night!" " Yes." "Made a profit, too." "You have it." "Might bring you luck." "Oh, I can't imagine it bringing me anything else." "(Both laugh)" "It's such a shame we go home tomorrow." "We didn't think we'd find you, so Mom has the whole day mapped out." " Oh!" " Listen, I have to see you before I go." "Will you come and wave me off, say goodbye?" "You try and stop me." "Tomorrow night, seven o'clock." "You bet." "Bye." "(Albert) Hello, I'm back!" "Well, you look like a man who's had a weight lifted from his shoulders." "I hope you weren't waiting up for me." "No, no, no." "I was just out here reading." "Oh, really?" "In the dark, huh?" "(Chuckles)" " Good night?" " A great night." "You do something special?" "Oh, I'd say it was something special, yeah." "But you're not gonna tell me what." "All in good time." "That, um..." "That thing we, uh..." "we talked about." "Did it resolve itself?" "Everything is fine." "So I can go to bed?" "Oh, be my guest, yeah." "OK." "Michael..." "I want you to know I appreciate your..." "you know, looking out for me." "Whatever it is, I'll always have your back, Albert." " Goodnight, Albert." " Goodnight, Michael." "(Alarms sounding)" "(Horns honking)" "(Sirens wailing)" " I hadn't actually called anyone yet." " Yeah, well, it was on my job sheet." "That must have been someone on the night shift." " It's gone crazy this morning." " Yeah?" "Happened overnight." "It was fine yesterday when I left it." "Oh, blimey, makes your eyes water a bit, doesn't it?" "The smell's emanating from that vent there." "Oh, yeah?" "So, can you fix it?" "Well, er, depends where it is and whether I can get to it, you know, but, er... we'll see if we can get a camera down there." " It trails back into the back of the kitchen?" " Yeah, straight through." " Round here?" " Yeah, just follow your nose." "(Cooper whistling)" "(Sean) Oof!" "Well..." " I've stayed in better hotels." " (Mickey chuckles)" "Phwoar!" "Dear me!" "Right, well, do you, er..." "want the good news or the bad news?" "Any way you like." "The good news is - it's blocked and backing up." "The bad news is that the pipe behind it's caved in, so I can't rod it." "So what exactly does that mean?" "Sorry, mate, but we're gonna have to take the floor up." "What..." "You're kidding!" "Well, how long is that gonna take?" "If I get a crew in straight away, we can make a start, but it'll take most of the day." "And we're gonna have to cordon off this whole section." "You know, health and safety." "Great." "Yeah, well, it's a big job, but insurance should cover it." "Well, it doesn't sound as if I've got much choice." "No." "I've got three lads about half a mile away." "If you can organise security passes for 'em..." "Yeah." "All right, boys." "Hold on, hold on." "Is that absolutely necessary?" "Hundred per cent, mate." " What the?" " Yeah, we gotta do the floor, ain't we?" "Oh, that's me." "Ta." "Hey, boss, you ain't gonna believe this." "They drove around and then what?" "They drove into a police station?" "OK, let's do this." "Don't worry, lads." "Sit down." "Take a load off." "Hello!" "Excuse me." "Hello?" "All right, mate?" "I was just wondering how you were getting on?" " Yeah, well, we're nearly there." " Only, it's a bit noisy." "Well, I'm sorry about that, but we're knee-deep in shit in here." "Have you any idea how much longer you're gonna be?" "Check back in a couple of hours, yeah?" " But what..." " In a couple of hours, check back, yeah?" " What am I gonna tell my staff?" " Just tell 'em it's a very, very big job." "Hang on, they're all hungry here, you know!" "He told me about the house." "If it hadn't been that, it would have been something else." "I know." "Do you think I'm like him?" "Sometimes I see him in you." "Usually when you're misbehaving." "(Laughs)" "Oh, the boys will adore him." "There's someone to see you, boss." "(Phone rings)" "Yeah?" "Come on, guys." "The cavalry's coming back." " (Mickey) OK, it's time to go." " What?" "We are leaving." "They're on their way back, guys." "Sean, it's an old coffee tin." "Is it really?" "An old coffee tin." "Thanks very much." " That's really helpful, Coop." " Sean, come on out." "Hang on!" "(Laughing)" "Hang on!" "I think I've found it!" " This it?" " Yeah." " Oh, yes!" " Oh, baby!" "(Laughing)" "Hello?" "Excuse me?" "Bloody hell." "Dear Lord, whatever I've done, don't strike me blind for another couple of minutes." " That would make a hell of a necklace." " Yeah." "(Groans) The guns are gonna be aching for days." "Oh, bless." "It's the first honest day's work he's ever done." " Well, I wouldn't exactly call it honest." " (Chuckles)" "So, what now?" "What do you say, Coop?" "Cut and run, or give 'em back?" "Well, I can't cut and run, can I?" "Not now he knows about you." "Even if I'm not there, he's gonna come after you." "He's got a point." "I can't do that to you, mate." "(Sighs)" "Sorry, guys." "We give 'em back." "(Mickey) I'll tell you what." "If the mob give us some for our trouble, we could always split 'em 50-50." "Yeah, because that's gonna happen, isn't it?" "You brought some friends." "That's nice." "Yeah, isn't it?" "To what do I owe the pleasure?" "Well, you can check 'em, but I think they're all there." "I'm really sorry for any misunderstanding, Mr Bachini." "I have no idea what you're talking about." "They're the diamonds I accidentally stole..." "nicked from you." "Diamonds?" "Anyone, any idea what these guys are talking about?" "Wait." "You threatened this man because he stole them from you." "I've never seen this guy before in my life." "And as for diamonds, I've got one on my pinkie ring." "That's it." "If the mafia had a parcel of diamonds they wanted to fence, where would they go first?" "The Italians?" "That's easy." "Benesh Finkel." "He's the only fence in London they trust." "Do you know him?" "He's my brother-in-law." "There's someone to see you, boss." " Benesh!" " Carlo." "This is my brother-in-law, Yusef." "I vouch for him." "If there's as many stones as you say, I'll need help to move them on." "OK." "So, do you have 'em?" "I'll have them tonight." "It's kind of complicated, but they're being delivered here." "Well, let's hope they're not being delivered by Mickey Bricks." " What?" " Oh, you wouldn't know him." "He's a grifter..." "Well, he was a grifter, but now he works for the police." "They say it's how he stays out of prison." "You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours." "Please." "Salute." " Cheers." " L'chaim." "So tell me about him, this, uh... this man, in case I run into him sometime." "Well, he operates these stings for the police." "One week he's a drug dealer, the next he's a jeweller." "Six months ago he conned me." "He said he dealt in antique jewellery, and the schmuck was wearing a wire." "That's why they drove into the cop shop." "Oh, you know him?" "Because Carlo's the only member of the Bachini family with a criminal record." "Two counts of assault and one for non-payment of a parking fine." "Word has it, one more strike and he's out." "I could have kicked myself I didn't spot it." "Spot what?" "His shoes." "You can always tell a noz by his shoes." "Shoes, eh?" "Are you saying these diamonds don't belong to you?" "That's exactly what I'm telling you." "I'm a respectable businessman." "Now, can I ask you to leave my premises before I call my lawyer?" " What about these?" " Are you deaf?" "They're nothing to do with me." "Take 'em, dump 'em, eat 'em for all I care." "What am I?" "Stupid?" "No, you're gonna have to run that by me again." "Right." "Look, there are only two things that will get the mafia off your back - the old bill and death." "We didn't fancy the second one." " Well, well, well." " I take it it went well." " Oh, yes." " Champagne, Eddie." " Not sleeping with the fishes, then?" " (All laughing)" "No, we're not sleeping with the fishes this time, Eddie." "Yeah, so, what d'you do, eh?" "Make him an offer he couldn't refuse?" "(Chuckles)" "No, no, we're grifters, Eddie." "We did the exact opposite." "We made him an offer he had to refuse." "I haven't got a bloody clue what you're talking about." "That's probably for the best." "Can I have my earring back now, please?" "Yes, you can have your earring back now." " Thank you very much." " Thank you." "Ah, Yusef." "Perfect timing." "It's not enough to take my money, to use my family to save you from certain death." "Now you have me running errands for you." "Don't you ever stop complaining?" "Who's complaining?" "I'm here, aren't I?" "Although I'm only doing this because I was asked so nicely." "Oh!" "I knew you were the right people to post myself to." "Yeah, well, next time, we'll return to bleeding' sender." "Hey, Mick, why don't we just hold on to the diamonds and flog 'em for more later?" "Because however long we wait, as soon as we try to move them, Bachini may find out, and that's a game we don't wanna play." "The insurance company paid out when the diamonds were stolen, but the 10% reward is still in place." " Is she from the insurance company?" " Yeah." "This way, they get their diamonds back, no questions asked, and we get paid for our trouble." "Better still, it's all legal." " Pleasure, pleasure." " Thank you." "£550,000." " (Whistles)" " Less my fee, of course." " Of course." " (Cooper) Guys, just hang on a second." "We've got the money and we're all in the clear?" "(Mickey) Yes, we believe so." " With everyone?" " With everyone." " Aw, you wild, beautiful thing." " No hugging, no hugging." "Oh, thank you. 50-50, remember?" "All right." "Well, if I finish my stretch, will you look after my half for me?" "Yes." "And now that I'm solvent again, maybe I could win my money back." "(All) Oh!" "No, no, that is a challenge." "What do you say, old man?" "I think it'll be a pleasure to take your money back, old man." " You wish." " Hey, you wouldn't sub us a ton, would you?" " I thought you were going back?" " I am." "Right after I've taught you how to play poker." "Oh, right." "Come on, then." "You got lucky last time, with your two pairs of nines." " Luck, no." "Skill, skill." " You caught on the river!" "Before that you were holding trips and I had got you beat." "Moan, moan, moan." " It's a fact." " No, it's a fact that I beat you." "Deal the cards." "(Overlapping chatter)" "(All) Oh!" "I lied!" "(Overlapping chatter)" "You in?" "Sean." "(Sean) Hold on, hold on." "No, I'm out." "(Emma) Well done." "Thank you, gentlemen." " Come on, come on." " (Sean) What's that?" "What's that?" "(Sean) Yay!" "What?" "(Clears throat) Five grand." "You got nothing." "Maybe I have, maybe I haven't." "It'll cost you five grand to find out." "You don't scare me, old man." "I got you beat." "My call." "Read them and weep." "King high flush." "Well..." " Full house." " (Emma) Oh!" "(All laughing)" "Oh-ho!" "Ouch!" "Eddie, tell me when it's a quarter to seven." "We're gonna be here all night." "When's a girl to get her beauty sleep?" " She needs it." "Trust me." " No, a quarter to seven this evening." " Joking, aren't you?" "It's past that now." " What?" "It's ten past." "Oh, shit!" " Albert?" " I gotta meet somebody." "I'm sorry." "He's running out on me." "(inaudible)" "Taxi!" "Berwick Hotel." "Room 423, a woman and her daughter." "I'm sorry, sir." "They checked out ten minutes ago." "Stupid, stupid..."