"Hacamat brother comes." "Selamün aleyküm brother Hacamat." "Ve aleyküm selam we rahmetullah we bereket." "Selamýn aleyküm Polat." "Polat dear you wait outside for me." "Have fun." "Get outside I don't want this boy to see what is going to happen here next, it would be a shame." "Now esteemed brothers, while there are so many unbelievers in this market you happened upon me a pious, god fearing man of worship and an honest man of trade." "Some subjects may spread rumors around labeling us as yandaþ mafia but we work hard to avoid such labeling by sewing with due dilligence and honest effort because our works are out in the open for all to see Maþallah." "As it says in the good book:" "el ecerül mahlukat el ante kunteyul farat." "It means:" "Mouse with a death wish spanks the cat on the ass." "Such a disgrace, have you spanked anyone in the ass recently?" "Nope." "Why are we even here?" "Why did you kicked our asses?" "I don't get it at all." "You ate my candy." "Candy?" "What candy?" "Believer Onur, since you are going to Ankara anyhow" "Can I ask you for a favor." "Of course brother." "I have to deliver a package to another believer brother of mine would you call him first when you reach there and deliver it to him." "Then attend to your business in Ankara in your own sweet time." "Don't even mention it." "I will do it gladly." "May Allah be pleased with you vailahi and billahi." "Selim, bring the package boy." "Right away." "It has address and phone number on it call it when you arrive." "Okay." "Nothing will happen to the package I presume godwilling." "God forbid." "What can happen to a box of candy for god's sake, godforbid." "Bastard, A..hole" "C'mon Leyla, what are you doing you are blaming me for nothing you ever gain." "Leyla honey, c'mon don't make a scene neighbours are watching." "You don't know what a scene is I'm coming down." "I know!" "What you looking at What!" "What you all looking at." "Get inside She'll calm down after blowing some steam." "What is this?" "What is this?" "You bought a present for her?" "You have my bread in your stomach my money in your pockets don't you fear god?" "Leyla honey, What have I done I would explain if I only knew." "Don't you dare lie to my face." "Wait till I catch that skank named Suzan." "You were going all to way to Ankara to sleep with her didn't you?" "Leyla dear calm down, easy everybody is watching us, what are you doing?" "Hey." "What are you doing?" "Hey, enough, hey." "Let everybody hear and know." "You drove me crazy." "You drove me crazy!" "Get the hell out of my sight." "Aww c'mon." "Get away, see I burned them, burned them all." "Don't ever show your face again." "Shame on you brother this doesn't become you." "So you wasted two fine chaps over a box of candy?" "Shame on you heaten Onur, you stoop that low?" "To a box of candy." "I will go and buy you 10 boxes from patisserie ...please don't do it" "You rascal believer, do you think I will fall for that?" "Where is my money?" "What money?" "Money?" "The money in the candy box." "Who in his right mind would put money in a candy box?" "Why don't you deposit it in a bank?" "Interest is illicit what to do with my money?" "Brother Hacamat, forgive me if I may, How much... money was there in the candy box?" "Fifty thousand euros." "Curse you Onur man has every right, where is the money?" "How can we now that there was money there?" "Allah Allah, maybe there isn't any." "I did not see no money may god strike me down." "I didn't see anything." "It has been to long that Onur rascal still did not call." "We used to fight like that before but it never took this long for him to call." "Senem, can there be another woman in his life?" "Let's assume he has one God forbid." "Is that the end of the world?" "You are young, comely." "Look at yourself, get up get a grip." "Should I call?" "Don't act silly, not now you let us go." "Here is a propositon dear brother." "If I don't bring you 60K Euros I am an inglorious bastard." "You already are one, shut up." "Thank god, what is happening." "He had some wind there was a man on gallows when the hangmen placed the noose around his neck, he asks him:" "Do you have a last wish?" "A blessed man he replies: may god save me from worst." "Amen." "Hangman is a heaten he laughs and says, in a minute" "I will kick the stool under you you will hang and die What worse can happen?" "The blessed man says don't talk like that." "Mr. hangman every bad has its worse." "Just that instant a horseman comes galloping." "And says to the hangmen loose the noose around the convict." "Death by hanging is abolished." "We will stake the culprits from now on." "As it says in the good book: meftaül bil hayr, if it is death let it be a good one." "Hope for the best you give the order ...And Selim will bust a cap in my skull, end it ...so I may know peace." "A hundred!" "A hundred?" "A hundred thousand euros and 1 month time what say you?" "What is there to say now Onur the faithful." "A muslim should believe a muslim in the end." "Elhamdülillah." "Elhamdülillah,we are all believers." "Praise god." "Now Hadi we have read your script." "If you want my opinion, I say you forget this comedy business." "Mr Daver, this is absurd comedy it makes fun of personages." "Tries to create comedy out of nonsensical situations." "The whole world laughs at absurd comedy." "Well I don't Hadi I really don't, what are we gonna do?" "Don't you have a romantic movie?" "Romantic movie?" "Yep." "That is piss easy Here." "Love story truly original." "You don't say?" "5 million at least." "What you say?" "5 million?" "3.5 liras per ticket it makes 17,5." "I ll produce it for 1.5 it makes 16." "We sell it to the channel for 1 it makes 17." "Pay per View, DVD another 500, to a total of 17,5 minus the tax, 4,5 we can change the apartment we can change the car, change the jeep change the boat and Hüseyin will fix us the receipts and books we can make 18 thousand liras" "from this project, there done let's shake hands." "If I like it, I will give 1000 to script." "Ohh Hadi, hope it is good news at this hour." "It will be good news Sevda you got the leading role." "I don't believe it You wrote me a leading role?" "I have even met with the producer." "What did he say?" "He has no quarrels about you we can even say he liked you." "Wait a minute, you are not just tantalizing me with empty promises I hope." "Hadi you will burn in the deepest pits of hell." "You hear me?" "Now bye bye." "You are a piece of work angel of death flies over our head and you can still lie like that!" "Who am I talking to?" "What the hell?" "What is the matter with you?" "Hacamat is my matter." "Why you making such a fuss of it Ã‡eto so you made a witless mistake, so what it will be solved eventually." "What witlesness are you talking about I have not seen any money nor have I eaten any candy and look at what happened to me." "Like I have seen anything I will elbow your face." "Relax guys, easy this Hacamat ...Hacamat or whatever is just a human being you will go and talk like adults and tell him "we can't pay this money"" "it is beyond us, and it is settled." "If you can't talk to him" "I will go and talk in your stead." "I will come to brother I will as well." "I won't leave you hanging out like that, but the important question is this;" "what will we say to Hacamat?" "What will we say, what should we say Grow a pair will you?" "Look at yourselves, afraid like little girls grow a spine, man up." "When I was in high school, I was in wrestling team, man up man up, I will kick that Hacamat's ass or whatever to the curb." "What are you high on?" "Tea." "I m sorry, may I ask a question." "Has this fella failed to pay his debt?" "How did it happen?" "I don't know You kinda rearranged his face." "I wandered why he was late for 2 days, 2 ohhh." "What gives believers, something I should know?" "We have a request from you, brother Hacamat." "Let me put it this way, our friends brother Hacamat, now, it is like this." "Errr." "Esteemed brothers, don't talk like charity collectors after Friday prayers that talk altogether at the same time." "We were wondering if we should pay our debt in Turkish liras or in euros or dollars." "We came to ask how in order to avoid future misunderstandings." "It is far cry from that." "Not exactly like that I mean not that way." "Brother, what you say is irrelevant." "What brother Hacamat says is all that matters." "Isn't that so?" "He is right." "Now we accept all currencies." "Of all countries and nations after you collect it in the following 27 days, we don't discriminate or act like racists." "Who is this brother?" "Esteemed brother this is our room mate Süleyman he is an outstanding believer a real faithful." "Selamünaleyküm ve rahmeturullah esteemed brother." "Come over here." "You look like a nice brother." "A real believer Masallah." "Now I entrust my two brothers here first to god and then to you if in this 27 days anything happens to them or they pull a dissappearing act or anything, you will pay this 100.000 Euros" "or I will pump all the blood in your body out of your ass." "From here, right here." "Why did he entrust you to me?" "Do I look like a custodian?" "Onur shame on you for turning him into this." "That is all I say." "What?" "Are you insane people?" "Was it my idea to talk to Hacamat?" "Was it?" "Hmm?" "Guys please don't screw me over the man talks about draining blood from the ass." "I can't even stand the sight of a needle." "Tövbe estagfurullah." "Some precious ass you got there." "Like you are the only one who has one move." "This man would really can'); out whatever he says right?" "No kidding sherlock." "This man would sell his sould to devil for money." "Maybe he already had." "Stop hitting, for god's sake stop it." "You will break it, it would be a shame stop it." "It is all old and rotten here and it stinks to high heavens." "Inorant fool,it smells of history even if its old or rotten I or stinky, it is precious for me." "Heirloom from my grand dad, he got it from grand dad of his grand dad." "Great grand dad great great grand great to my great grand grand great great grand dad." "I must admit it is a nice piece." "And I must admit that under normal circumstances we would not have sell it but facts of life compelled us." "I'm sorry, would you be willing to sell this sword as well?" "Sword, let me check." "Ahhh that is a heirloom from my grand nanny and grand nanny got it from her great grand nanny." "She was an old fencer, one of the oldest." "We are ripped, totally ripped." "That rascal really robbed me." "What did you want from my precious heirloom?" "You should be glad that slavery is abolished else he would have sold you as well." "That he would." "You two are morons." "It would have sit and rot there, thanks to me you have some cash lining your pockets, give me a break." "Give you a break?" "Man has no shame he can still talk after all." "Ã‡eto, how much did we get from the heirlooms?" "It must have been a heft sum Süleyman." "How much did he give?" "Haven't counted yet Süleyman not yet." "Is that our share, or just yours?" "This is our share Süleyman, ours" "Why the hell can't we think about selling this on your own and this guy goes and sells it and we share the money three ways?" "Why don't our brains work?" "Work your bucket Süleyman, why don't you sell it Süleyman." "Shut your pie hole, geez enough I couldn't count the money yap yap yap, and you shout at me." "You won't let me Süleyman, here do it yourself if you think it's easy." "I don't think that is necessary." "What you doing baby girl?" "Onur bro." "What's up?" "Cam, my Cam" "Good good you found yourself a strapping brave young lad there." "Why you said that bro?" "You would understand it when you see Dürdane bro." "Huussh, Onur, what you doing?" "You will scare him away." "I am 18 already, I will be a spinster." "Nah he won't run away yeah you are right you are getting old..." "Okay, take care, bye." "Brother Onur, you know this Cem was madly in love with me." "He was always checking me out." "Let's go protect me my brave." "Have a nice day." "That is a bit hard around here." "Customer here boy, how about some attention right here?" "customers like us" "mam, we are watching the doctors leave us be." "I am in an operation right now and you talk about sausage." "Whaaaa, do you see what I see lad?" "Your daugther is taken it seems outrageous." "Soo I catch you red handed I caught you." "You will die by my hand." "Mommaa." "Mommaa." "Momma?" "I won't let anyone squander my wealth." "Well he sprints really good." "Momma, you chased this one as well." "I lost track of the number of runaway husbands." "All you think about is a husband you insolent..." "Can we please watch the doctors in peace here?" "Thank god there is another 600 minute episode tomorrow." "C'mon hurry the race begins please win at least once." "You always bet on the donkeys." "Yeah yeah, make your fun of me pull my leg." "Wait till one of my scripts is made into a movie." "See then if I ever set foot back in here." "How pretentious of you." "Well the decesead was pretentious as well all of us here ate his funeral meal together." "I am pretentious, see I wrote a heist scenario pretty unique, 5 million at least" "thought about it, measured it, edited it characters are ready the locations are set, it is good to go." "Since you put so much time and effort in measuring and editing it, why didn't you plan a real heist?" "Yep, why didn't you?" "Make a real heist plan." "Allah Allah, you jackass." "Of course, You lad, you write me a heist." "Where are you guys?" "We hit the jackpot, we are saved come sit, sit, sit down." "We are finally saved from all this squalor and from Hacamat." "What happened?" "Did you win at track?" "No nothing like that, we will commit a robbery." "Sod off, is that your great idea?" "Robbery?" "Nah relax he is just kidding." "Sülo, I am dead serious my friend." "Dead serious, brother we are setting up a business." "Yes, it would be prudent for you not to include us in your further plans dear Onur." "Best of luck brothers, what business?" "We will take the money you gave us last night and use it as capital to sell panties and bras in the bazaar." "Selling bras and panties." "Yep." "You are a bunch of small minded men you are something else." "I will call Hacamat now and I will say dear brother Hacamat please calculate the part of debt that falls on me and Sülüman break it into monthly installments and start paying it back got it bro?" "3 bucks in your pockets" "and you act like you are big shots I wonder what will happen if it were 5 or more bucks." "C'mon get up brother get ready so we can leave." "How nice of you to come, makrube of this place is famous." "Just like that, eat some get healthy." "Don't make makrube sad." "What does elders say?" "El anti zýkkýmül ümük... vel minel zeynelül bülük te ante zýkkýmýl ümük ve inel þerri namefiþ kallavi bülük, it means:" "If mouth eats it, the cock dances, if mouth doesn't eat it, the cock sleeps." "Soo planning to be salesman at the bazaar." "God willing brother." "What does believer Onur says is this matter?" "He thinks it is small business, yeah small job." "And what did you say?" "We said we are small too." "Yep we are small as well." "Now that is wrong quarter gold." "Can any man with 100 thousand Euros of debt be a small man?" "Man has a point nope he can't." "Of course he can't." "Take Polat outside for a while get him something to eat." "Fill his stomach, pity alas." "Just like that, eat some more get some meat on your bones." "Which body part of you should I sic Hacamat on tomorrow?" "We have belly." "What?" "I don't get it." "I will eleborate everything when we get back home Sülüman, just you wait." "What gives fellow believers?" "Couldn't reach a consensus like social democrats." "Now brother Hacamat yes dear." "Now, you know, err this money now Hacamat brother." "Sülüman will tell everything now, go on." "Hit it Selim." "Hit it, not like that on the back." "I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm ok." "All good believer?" "Fine now thanks." "For a moment I thought you were a goner look at me." "Don't make me look for another fiduciary." "Good." "Now tell me what you came to say." "What is there to tell you bastard?" "Watch your tounge heaten Sülüman tell... everything to brother Hacamat you heaten." "He will tell now." "What everything?" "Everything that you know." "I am all ears dear Now... now." "Hold that thought, I have to get this." "God bless whoever that caller was." "My blood pressure dropped." "Why you little..." "Selamýnaleyküm brethren, What is up?" "This man is 6 hours overdue on his debt." "Ohh." "He is saying something like let me go to a bank and withdraw some money but it is not clear." "Ohh." "Too much blood coming out of his mouth, he might have internal bleeding." "Soo talk now brethren, we can hear you." "I removed his nails, cut off one finger" "And we lost it can't find it anywhere." "Where you think you are going?" "Brethrens you prepare him get the equipment ready, I am on my way." "Bye selamünaleyküm." "I am a firm believer in upholding one's promises." "A man must be like that Hacamat brother." "Man of his word." "Ok off we go and you be B.B.G." "Get up Sülüman, you faint so easily, so easily." "Wake up, stand tall, what is this?" "He left the cheque to us..." "Sülüman he left the cheque to us." "This is how they get rich I guess." "We will deduce it from 100k Euro." "My only brother whose every word is as valuable as gold." "You have summoned me, what gives?" "We will know good or bad when we talk brethren Onur." "Selim." "Yes sire." "Would you take Polat out so he can pee." "As you wish brother." "Go together, get plenty of fresh air will you?" "AVE aye." "Selim, chop chop, take Polat, c'mon go." "God bless brother it is like a zoo in here." "Cows and snakes and all." "What does the book say?" "What does it say?" "Vel minel mahlukatül alamül hayran vel teante gönül seyran." "Translated:" "He who does not love animals can not love mankind." "That is correct, which book are we talking about." "Onur the faithful, what would you like to eat?" "What do we have?" "We have fried piner stick, would you like some?" "Thanks brother, I have acid reflux." "It seems today is your feast day, you feasted the boys and didn't tell me." "So they mentioned." "Yes they did, you sweated them pretty rough." "Say Onur brethren." "Don't you inform the brothers on the severity of this issue?" "Don't you tell them that my Hacamat brother would rip your flesh from your bones and your bones from your skin?" "I do all the time but you see, one of these didn't get enough mother's milk." "The other is an inbred they are a little slow." "Brother disregard those," "I have something important to tell you." "Vallahi." "May god strike me down." "Hopefully, go ahead" "Man, where has he been?" "It has been too long" "Trust in god Sülüman, whatever written here, shall come to pass." "Brother Hacamat, Selim, Polat." "When angel of death comes." "All will turn to Banu, get it?" "Why you talking like that?" "Creeping me out." "Why so gloom and doom all of a sudden?" "Don't rain on my parade, why don't you listen to Onur, frank him." "Why don't you listen to me, me your life long loyal friend." "I was there to catch you when you fall, how many times have I saved your life?" "Remember that one time you were riding a bike." "Coming down from a ramp full speed." "Blazing down, brakes blown." "Flutting your hair like that, you had hair back then of course." "Ohh I had hair..." "The point is the bike not your hair, coming towards me." "Full speed, what did I do?" "I stand in front of you to stop the bike, you hit me so hard." "You stayed but I continued with the bike, 6 months in hospital." "Shit happens." "For you, you are my brother my friend and another time we were playing ball, remember?" "You were kind of an oaf back then, hit it right to the construction site." "I followed after the ball, entered inside." "A builder was holding the ball." "Enough Süleyman, no more." "It was bad." "Want me to put some tea don't put, pour." "What does the book say?" "Vel minel sedde nimetul zevk vel teasevabül zerre," "Which means, it is a good deed to enjoy every bit of any given blessing." "Then according to book, we should lick." "There you go, Bismillah." "Chop chop." "Brethren Onur, as god is my witness you convinced me in two minutes." "Oh no dear brother, please." "Give me a break, will you." "Hmm." "Now you set me up with one of this bazaar stands and don't worry about the rest." "I said okey didn't I, Brethren Onur." "Are you planning to rob the bazaar?" "Oh god no." "God forbid, it is all this icecreams." "Fault." "Getting talkative as one licks more." "May god have mercy and forgive us, say" "Brethren Onur, I didn't see you today on Friday prayer." "How weird, I was just behind you to the right, I start preparing from Thursday for Friday prayers, please." "Allah Allah." "Vallaha." "Then lick away." "Let's lick." "If only I had the money to buy" "Tokio, London, Paris, Malkara, Keþan, we have branches everywhere." "Come sister." "Dude, why did you wear that inside?" "Do women wear it on the outside?" "Are you a women for god's sake?" "Best merchandise, here sister." "Can you put it in a plastic bag?" "Of course my dear sister, 5 liras." "Come one come all 5 liras per piece." "Bless you sister." "I got to dash, excuse me." "Undressing?" "Where are you going?" "Going to the wholesaler to buy merchandise." "I will get the prettiest ones so we can sell better." "Ã‡eto, open that." "Eyy, buy colored thongs and some lace." "Of course I will buy your size." "See you later." "See ya." "And on that note, what was that song?" "If only I had the money to buy, if only I had the money to buy." "Come one, come all make your daughter happy." "Ve selamünaleyküm verahmeturullah ve bereketül, what's up brethrens?" "You are in the cup business as I see." "Aleyküm selam brother Hacamat sire." "What you doing here?" "Isn't this the bazaar lad?" "People come to find what they are looking for." "See, I too have finally found what I was looking for." "Not like we are trying to escape or anything, pardon me." "But I am getting a little oppressed here." "Can not take it anymore." "Shush, don't talk like that." "Stop poking me Sülüman, unhand me one minute." "Pardon me when I say brother Hacamat, have I seen that box of candy?" "I have not." "Sülüman one moment, Hacamat brother have I eaten even one candy from the box?" "I have not, have I spend the money?" "Nope, I can not stand this anymore." "Enough is enough,I am sick and tired of seeing you every day." "Like grim reaper." "For the love of god." "Pheew." "Selo, vacate the bazaar." "What does he say?" "That we are hacked." "Quarter gold hold it, walk Polat away." "I don't want him to witness what is about to happen." "Hacamat brother, are you pissed at something?" "Once upon a time a brethren was flying over Africa." "When his plane suddenly broke down." "They made an emergency landing inside the forest." "Praise to god, nothing happens to him." "While gazing into the woods he sees an African tribesman walking towards him." "At that moment he says now I am fracked." "God forgive." "While thinking those, he has a vision of a white bearded sage." "The sage tells him, don't be afraid son don't you be afraid he says, sage what should do?" "He say, see that spear over there?" "He replies, yes I do." "Take that spear and jam it right through the heart of" "The man at the forefront with colorful clothes." "He takes the spear and jams it through the front man's heart at that moment sage tells him:" "My son." "Now..." "You are fracked." "Get the message?" "It means:" "El lugatul hissiyat el ante duhulul ass." "Ass?" "What I am saying is if that tongue of yours ever streches like that again," "I will rip it out and shove it up your ass." "Why you..." "Does this brethren have a condition?" "He is a bit sensitive on ass issues." "Hello." "Dancing for me." "You sly dog." "She loves you bro, she digs you." "Yesss, she loves me." "So you are saying that only way out of this trouble is a robbery." "Correct." "But think it through guys this is not my idea." "We did." "We might get caught." "Maybe." "Whatever happens at the end, you wanted this." "We wanted it." "Fine then." "Plan." "Spartacus, write Poyraz Beyi for that race." "Nah I'll go with Dila Haným." "Ä°f you are so sure, why don't you write it?" "I would but I have given up on all this track and race thingie." "I hang at FirüzaÄŸa till 3, then tour cihangir and stuff." "Hang out with the crew you know, movie people actors and all that." "If you need a scenarist, we have Hadi brother." "You don't say." "Really." "Greetings brother." "We will see if he has anything good." "Welcome." "Soo what is the clerks fault?" "Did all four of them enter to change money?" "What is the deal?" "It is unique, it will work." "5 million, at least." "You say..." "Now you hold your gun against the man and shout:" "This is a robbery!" "Deal?" "Onur, I have never hold a gun in my entire life." "What if it goes off?" "What if I become a murderer mere?" "Why do you talk so naive?" "It is a fake gun, not real." "So you hire a car and wait for us outside the gates, ok?" "Don't forget." "Deal." "Natural born robbers damn me." "I will get some fresh air." "What kind of a car are we talking about?" "cargo truck?" "Pick up?" "Rims?" "Sound system?" "Shut it Sülo, where did he go?" "Should I speak or shut up?" "Speak please." "They went to the mosque." "Zip it, enough." "Scene 18, repeating it watch now." "He enters the exchange office, you wait with the rental car and I stake out at nearby cafe." "Ok but what about the can?" "Next to which Turkish bath?" "Onur welcome brother, have you come to repent?" "To atone for your sins?" "Sinner no more?" "Oh god." "Brother I knew you would find the right path someday." "You know..." "Praises to you Lord." "That I live to see this day." "Almighty god hear my voice, I beg you." "Hear my cries Lord." "Hear his voice." "If you excuse me for a second please." "Please." "Dear god, I have prepared a robbery plan for these two morons." "I am still planning." "What I want from you is deliverance from the heist that we will try to pull with these knuckleheads." "Unharmed." "And if it isn't too much, a little extra on the side will do." "You know I love Leyla." "I would many her." "Sony for the unnecesarry intimacy." "Unwarry heaten." "Allah you are great, we beseech you." "Ya Rabbi ya Resulullah." "We have stooped down to robbery, I concur with Onur here." "Thanks." "Partially, after we pay our debt let us have a few bucks for ourselves so we won't stoop even lower than robbery." "My god." "What was my fault, my sin?" "I rue the day I meet these men." "Ya Resullallah" "I want to part with them." "Grant me a pious life yarabbi ya resulullah every day." "Threats, fear of death something every other day, Lord I am coming to you" "Ya Rabbi ya Resulullah." "Sit down Sülüman, shut it, look what have you done to this poor lad?" "He was already a halfwit." "Now he is completely gone, messed his head, become like you." "See what happened to him." "Amen." "Amen." "Selamün aleyküm." "How may I help?" "What do you think I look like?" "I can not make it but I guess you wore a stocking over your face to avoid recognition." "Take a good look, who do I look like?" "I got it now, you are a famous actor hiding from papparazzi, right?" "Have you lost it?" "I want the money." "Okay, how much?" "How much will you exchange?" "A lot." "Okey give me the money..." "C'mon give it." "What you looking at?" "Air." "What ah?" "Where is the money?" "What money?" "Here." "I got receipt." "Bravo, you will make the headlines tomorrow." "What will it say?" "Big heist, to morons rob the exchange Office..." ""and run away with 31 Euros." "So that fancy exchange office had only 31 Euros?" "We should have robbed a beggar, it would be better." "Don't say that Sülüman, see when I walked in the clerk treated me like a normal customer and I could not say "This is a robbery"." "I got confused, my head stopped." "Shame on you, you talk the talk... yap yap yapie the yap, but you can not walk the walk." "Like it was my 10th heist." "Why don't you do it if it is so easy?" "Why me?" "Let Onur do it." "Why are we the robbers and he is the stakeout?" "You are right, he should rob and we should stake out." "You should have said that while sharing the roles." "Whatever written in the script." "When we improvise," "We fail miserably, the dramatic construct collapses." "Keep your ideas to yourself." "Sülüman, why are you like this." "For god's sake, you are such a crook, you said something back then... now you say something else." "Don't you raise your voice to me 31 euros." "Where is onur?" "Over there, sitting at the cafe." "That bastard, staking out in the shade." "Move, master robber." "Come, come." "Selamün aleyküm." "Aleyküm selam, brother what are we doing?" "Aren't you aware that we are running against the clock." "Onur, can we go over the script once more brother?" "Why?" "Haven't you all read and memorized it?" "No problem in memorizing so, we practised, we practised at home we practised here indeed we did but" "but this is not the way, if this is the way, it won't be called a robbery." "Okey last time we study on script then everybody does his part." "What does it write here?" "Smart charismatic and handsome one stakes out at the cafe opposite the exchange office." "As we can all understand, that is me we know that laying low in the shade, easy script." "He is right though." "Naive, bizzarely original one enters the office while the stupid one ehem the one playing the stupid yes charges into the exchange office and points his gun at the man." "That is where I fall apart Onur can't decide what to say when I get in." "Should I say this is a robbery or everybody down or everybody out hand in the air" "Can't play that part not convincing you see." "Convincing is important, convincing is tantamount." "Alain Delon my ass, like you did everything else perfectly but stuck on convincing." "Get inside, pull out your piece, hold it against his head see if he is convinced or not?" "See it" " He is right and you wait for your buddy in the car when he exits the exchange office you take him in and floor the gas." "Don't you leave without me moron Süleyman." "He is not that stupid I hope." "Nah I won't forget him but there is another problem, I don't have a drivers license." "Sülo..." "Go." "Leave." "You say don't leave without taking him, you don't come I forgot to stay damn your knuckle head" "Hello there." "Ohh welcome, you again me again." "Welcome, what do you want?" "I want money." "Which currency?" "Dude this is a robbery hold them hands up in the air." "Onur, I did it brother I robbed them." "Thief, Onur thief Why you shout?" "Thief here." "And you are?" "Am I a thief?" "Move move haul ass." "Rascal, bastard, you mined my life who did you look up to?" "Stop for the love of god, stop, stop in the name of god." "Don't you take god's name in vain." "Sülüman welcome brother, where have you been?" "At the cemetery." "My poor brother, so you hid all the way at cemetery out of fear." "What fem?" "I was there on mission pour me some tea." "Victory tea." "What were you doing in the cemetery?" "Shooting video for my last album." "I was hiding the money duh." "What money?" "The money you lost to the thief." "How come?" "I covered that brother." "Thief in here thief." "Bravo to you my brother." "Why did you hid the money in cemetery?" "You just read your parts of the script typical lead role." "It was in the script you asked us to study so I did." "Curse you and all you do... move let's go get that money." "What's the rush, I was hoping for a cup of tea." "Move it." "You rascal get up, don't flatter yourself so quick." "Some team we got here everything blows in my rear." "Heyyt Heyyyt" "Keep moving move, lad move." "Time spend in car was well received by all who rejoiced the chance to switch scenery." "Selamýn aleyküm brother." "It almost took two hours to reach Åžuhsane but the trip was enjoyable." "It was a warm ad sunny day." "What's up brother?" "All fine all fine, was just passing by, thought to myself I should get the money while I was on my way." "What money?" "The money you stole from the exchange office today..." "One that TV talked all daylong." "I wonder if those same TVs also mention that the money was snatched by another thief all day long?" "Do you see dunce written over my forehead, brethren Onur?" "Brother Hacamat, if the heist is on Tv..." "Cops should be on their way to catch them soon enough with disgrace." "Who knows who did it?" "Don't worry, their faces could not be identified." "Whichever of you got in and pulled it" "I don't know but he pulled the operation quite brilliantly." "Forgive me if I may say, why do you think it was us?" "Let me put it this way brethren Onur Which one of you numbnuts entered the office?" "This one." "Good, let's go." "To';" "I will feed to desert." "The already fragile defense system of Fabel Miþalen... had acted cautiously out of fear of dissolving based onsenkoloji, he mentioned." "He must conduct this investigation dilligently or fabel might be devastated psychologically." "Brethren Onur." "Yes sire." "Why aren't you digging?" "Since we have one pick and one shovel at hand this was the optimum workload share." "Rýzaa." "Be nice to Güllü." "GUN?" "Give me that, dig lad dig." "Easy toyboy of Güllü, I found it." "Oh Help your girl." "Here." "Hold." "What does the book say?" "El sýkkayil hayran elmayül seyran,el hatüül sevran..." "Meaning:" "there are 3 beatiful things in the world, money sound of flowing water And this is?" "Mozambik currency." "Something like Dolar or Euro?" "Yep." "Yep how?" "It must be made in China because it is worthless." "Then why did you steal those?" "It was in the script, Scene 54 exchange office, midday." "Dude this is a robbery, put in this bag god forgive me." "The mozambique currency." "C'mon hands up." "If you let me, come here dear this way come come relax." "Here come." "Since we already digged them, let's go." "I will kill you." "C'mon guys stop, Onur stop." "Hacamat brother." "Don't do it Onur." "I will kill you, kill you." "As a conservative democrat" "believer, I give everybody the right to choose their own deaths." "Beautiful, cool." "May god be pleased." "Good." "Praise the Lord." "So go ahead and choose, what will it be." "Hmm." "Let's not ruin the line and start with friends." "Zip it and pull your destiny from the bag." "How can I" "Pull it, pull" "Yes brethren, let's start with you, go on." "It reads:" "Heavy stone tied to foot here may I command your attention here, lam not killing anybody." "Esteemed person kills himself." "He is right." "Yes your turn brother." "Abandoned in a deep and bottomless pit all alone, left to die." "Yes brethren Onur, your turn now, read it." "The esteemed brother is carefully aligned to his birthplace and err... bended over" "and behind him..." "I don't want to read the rest of it to be honest." "Why?" "Where was your birthplace?" "He is right." "You got the best one." "Yes." "Any friends not happy with what he picked at lottery?" "Regard, I said friends not brethren." "Yes Selim, we may start." "C'mon man what are you doing please in the name of god please I beg you." "Please look at our situation with some sense, you are imperialism, you are capitalism, the top of the food chain." "Also a liberal as well, thank god." "Absolutely undeniable." "Brother," "You are the man" "EstaÄŸfurullah." "You are, we are just small time you will crush us with your superiority." "EstaÄŸfurullah." "I say you give us, your brothers a helping hand so we can try to get bigger, say worth 150K Euros?" "What say you?" "150.000 Euros you say?" "150K Euros, how the tracking hell are we supposed to pay that?" "He is right." "150K you say..." "Euros as well brother" "God forgive, You bagged me once more, you bury the others." "150K Euros is nothing, we can pay it fast." "Sure we can." "One month is too long, 20 days or find a horse to take a dump on me." ""Besides I still don't talk to you." "XoXo" "Ahh hello." "Hi there dude, I was gonna call you." "Really, about what?" "Have you ever showed this script to anyone else before?" "There is this producer Daver and then you guys." "Aww that is to bad, our producer heard about it and believe me he is pissed." "You don't say." "You know the market, and this exchange office heist take to little space among the action I don't know if it was a bigger heist... considering the viewers." "Here you go." "What is this?" "Awesome subway heist." "Pretty unique." "I get it." "It will go places." "5 million at least." "Minimum." "Exactly." "Five millions." "Five five." "C'ya brother." "C'ya later." "I have met with our weird scriptwriter he has written another heist." "C'ya later Ã‡etin." "Come back you." "Onur brother, leave us out of it, you go solo and do whatever your heart desires." "Don't involve me either brother, I don't have the heart for it, I keep feinting." "But brothers, script is flawless just read it once you will see." "Adventure of three goofy friends you won't believe it." "This 3 goofy man somehow miraculously manage to pull a heist at the subway." "What, subway?" "Where should we put the train?" "Let's assume we stole it, how will we sell it?" "Is there a second hand train market, have you ever heard of a place that sells uses trains?" "Nah brother, impossible we will definitely get caught." "Why are you the way you are?" "Stop talking nonsense." "Onur brother, we are returning to our origins now, get it." "And you should go and make peace with Leyla pack your stuff and find a way to disappear." "What is this subway heist and all that why always a robbery?" "I concur brother, please go." "What about Hacamat?" "Let's get some fresh air, I feel dizzy Hacamat my ass, I rather die with my honor then to live like this Onur." "Me too." "Come here where are you going don't fret, I am in." "I wasn't afraid dude." "Selamun aleyküm Hacamat brother." "Ve aleyna aleyküm selam we rahmeturullah we berekatühü, what's up?" "Brethren you look like you saw a ghost eyes almost out of their sockets and all that?" "Nah brother Hacamat, we just feel a bit down wherever we look you turn around to face us all the time." "What does the book say?" "El algü seÃ§ki, selective attention since you are in debt to me, my breath will be at your neck until your debts are paid of course." "What you staring at, get in the car!" "What are you saying Sülüman?" "Your voice got sucked to your ass it seems from fear, what are you saying?" "Hmm Hacamat brother, our friend here wants to know uhmm just out of curiosity, he says where are we going, Sülüman asks." "Don't tense up brethren, we will loose our stress have a good sweat and relax." "Polat, Polaaaat, Polat, Polaaat." "Hacamat brother, how about you don't sit like that, what you say?" "Why brethren Sülüman has a phobia." "What does the book say?" "El antemýl kubbeyül hamam tel mýnel þerrullul vucutul sefam..." "Which means: sweating in hotbath is a good deed." "Have you guys ever wondered why they call me the Hacamat?" "I got it, Selim." "Yes sire." "Bring me my tools." "As you wish sire." "Now..." "This tool is called hacamat." "Now..." "you will ask what does it do." "Well when you fail to pay up I will use this on you personally but a few words on it to sate your wonder." "Open your legs." "Now this hollowed tool has razors on the top side, both sides." "This part is called the horn, when you when you pull and release it catches the meat." "Bismillah." "My late father was a master of this tool, may he rest in peace." "Hacamat brother." "Say it brethren." "May god rest his soul, may he join his ancestors in eternal rest." "Amen." "How did your late father passed away?" "My father was a pious man, he always helped the poor and the down trodden wherever he finds an unfortunate soul he would take up on himself to take care of him personally." "Wow easy brother." "Nah don't worry I'm just assessing where I can make Hacamat bite." "God forbid." "Selim." "Yes sire." "As god is my witness I have an idea." "A real good one." "I say why don't we pump some air to our brethren from their asses before they swim." "Stick in the pump and blow away away." "Air?" "Air." "Makes sense." "So you can wrap your head around it." "Kinda." "Good good, why you little..." "Soo I guess hot air isn't good for you." "He has a ath phobia." "What phobia?" "Ath." "Do you have a B problem?" "Noo I don't." "Sülüman enough you devoured my brain." "Sülüman enough." "I say stop." "Stop mooing like a cow." "Sülüman." "Look we didn't run into Hacamat today." "We are not telling this to Onur." "You started to creep me out what happened to you mate?" "I got it all but why don't we mention seeing Hacamat to Onur because I don't wanna fall deeper in the pit that is called Onur the Heaten." "That's why, sülüman your phone." "Nah that is not my ringtone." "Can you watch x-rated movies through KTunnel with that phone?" "Mind your own business." "My own business?" "Your own." "My own." "Dude." "Can it be Onur's phone?" "Nah it is probably just a cat." "Moron, would a cat meow like this seductively?" "You are right." "You bet your ass I'm right." "Dude." "What if Onur heard what we were talking about?" "It would be really awkward say something." "Sülüman." "What are you up to?" "Let's check if Onur is upstairs." "Good or bad?" "Ã‡eto." "What." "Do you think he heard what we said?" "Dude can not hear his own ringing phone don't you see?" "Not a care in the world." "He can sleep in such a position." "How can he hear it?" "Yeah sleeping like Banu All-can." "Ã‡eto." "What." "What is that stiffness behind me?" "Phone." "Will you get out?" "Okey." "Playing wise?" "You think you can outsmart the devil?" "I know what to do with you." "Ooo when did you arrive?" "Just now, were you home?" "I dosed off, didn't even realized you guys came." "Ã‡eto brother, I am packing my stuff up.." "...will hit the road shortly." "I don't wanna hear about it, Onur." "My brother did you take what I said seriously?" "I would die before I let you go." "I would commit suicide." "Never mind him brother, even if he lets you go I would not, shame on you." "Besides my love would be devastated if she returns from holiday and can not see you." "Not a voice or any news of you comes to me anymore." "I am stranded with my mad longing." "I got the blues with a single 'Hi' from you." "I did what I did to myself." "A toy at the end, fell in an unrequited love, haven't changed that much, still a child." "Don't be a stranger, smile, smiling becomes you." "Don't be cold like fall, fall brings separation." "Don't be a stranger, smile, smiling becomes you." "Don't be cold like the fall, fall brings separation." "Do we have to loose our sleep just because you make love?" "Who is making love?" "Bring me that slipper." "Okey okey I will, you get inside." "And you open the door." "Get inside girl." "I have read what you send concerning the script." "Have you?" "So what do you think?" "It is good, we are on the right track." "I'm glad, so can I have a little advance payment?" "What is the deal with this advance?" "This word, advance kills me." "As you know, you can't do anything without money, not so much as move." "Hold on, wait a minute." "While you were writing the script, you were not going anywhere." "Hadi, you sit like this in front of your desk open your laptop..." "strech your legs, coffee on one hand, tea on the other, vacation mode on." "I pity most the money." "I give to you script writers!" "I don't get it, blow things out of your ass, write out of thin air, and get paid, nice!" "If so Mr.Daver, I suggest you blow it out of your ass, out of thin air." "So you can avoid paying the scriptwriters." "Hadi, please Hadi!" "Let me tell you a dramatic story." "I was young, dashingly handsome." "All the girls are were shouting from balconies and rooftops to me:" "Kwang, Kwang, Kwang!" "KývanÃ§?" "That golden hair boy with sixpack." "The actor?" "Yes that one." "...even when he was a baby, they said he looked like me." "The girls used to get a number from mayor's office, just to eat cake with me." "I was quite popular." "Now, when you have this much charisma in you and such good looks, people give you the evil eye." "I was hexed." "I woke up one morning to see, that all my hair is white and my beard gone." "Wrinkles around the yes, nothing to do." "In one night?" "Yes, what, you don't believe me?" "Nah, it may be true." "See, it is not that hard blowing things out of your ass out of thin air." "Do I charge you any money for telling this?" "Did I beg for an advance?" "My brother bought something useful." "Easy, that is pepper spray maniac, you will kill yourself!" "What is this?" "As written in the script." "Detergent for disabling the cameras." "What good is detergent?" "Are we gonna do the laundry as well?" "I am warning you for the last time..." "Should you come back with ridiculous amounts of money again," "I won't leave you guys to Hacamat, I will finish you by myself." "Are you threatining us you anus?" "What did you say?" "I said anus." "What does it mean?" "I will tell, but you will faint Sülüman." "Don't say it then, what does it mean really?" "It means ass." "Aww c'mon, get a grip, get up." "Get a hold on yourself dude!" "Wake up, get a grip!" "Ohhhhh, get up, get up lad brothers our first order of business is, to enact what he wrote on script in real life." "First, we control the security." "We will have full control." "The money collected on subway toll booths, is gathered every Friday to be sent to the bank." "All you have to do is, to disable the security cams on our escape route." "This will buy us some time." "While you disable" "cameras, I will walk into the security room like a lost tourist and close the deal." "What are you doing?" "Kneel so I can get on top of you." "What?" "Sülüman get down, so I can get on your shoulders, to disable the cameras." "Why don't you say so." "What did I say?" "All kind of thing come to ones mind." "Okay, open your legs." "Sülüman, be careful, don't wiggle." "Sülüman hold it, watch it." "I will have a hernia." "A little to the front." "Good, hold it here." "Ã‡eto?" "What?" "Squeeze your legs a little more, so I can suffocate and die down here." "Sülüman I'm trying to balance myself." "To hell with your balance, what is this heat on my neck?" "Sülüman, you must have sweated a bit." "Come a little forward." "Steady Sülüman, I'm trying to hit the camera." "Frank your balance and camera." "Sülüman what you doing, mate?" "Sülüman hold it, look..." "SEW, where are you going?" "Hello there Mahmutcan." "Fine." "Welcome brother Åžakir, how are you?" "lam good, really good in fact." "Brother, we will get caught someday, I tell you." "We will be neck deep in serious trouble." "You don't complain while pocketing the cash, do you?" "Have you ever heard of a more secure room then the security room?" "Nope." "They will come with the merchandise, trade it with money, walk in the park." "Sülüman lower me." "Do you think I'm moving for fun?" "Hold still!" "Lower me like that slowly, one, two, ok." "Sülüman let go." "what happened?" "My belt got stuck, hold." "If you come like that, like a comet." "Sülüman don't piss me off!" "Remove it, unbuckle." "What you think I'm doing?" "Hold still!" "God forgive me, Sülüman." "There is something hard behind me, what is it?" "Phone, it is the phone." "Telephone is here, and something hard persists." "I don't know it." "ls my money ready?" "Of course it is ready." "Don't you worry.." ""We will earn so much more from thig gig." "Trouble at platform 13, respond quickly please." "Sülüman don't do it fast like that." "Everybody is looking at us doing it." "It does not come off, what you looking at sister, what?" "Pervert!" "Who you calling a pervert?" "He is my brother." "God forgive me,Sülüman come over here." "I dropped the pepper spray." "That will not do, Ã‡eto." "Selamýn aleyküm,hello." "Good day to you, kalimera, hi, hooo." "Metro is at god's mercy it seems." "I'll be damned." "What you know, my favorite person" "Abraham Lincoln..." "Ã‡eto I can't untangle, they are locked in, how can I undo it?" "What are you doing you perverts?" "Ahh don't spray it, easy!" "Urgent, send in backup, I repeat backup." "I heard there was an incident at metro." "And I came immediately, spill it." "Sergeant, err, they said, there was an emergency, so we wondered and came to take a look." "We don't know anything else." "Bring me the security footage of the room." "The cameras on this section are networking my sergeant." "They were supposed to come today, not functioning." "You have been a security chief for all these years, and you did not understand what was going on in here?" "Well, when we heard the call, we responded immediately." "But these guys have made quite a mess around." "Sergeant, this may sound a bit cliche, but we are truly innocent." "Ohh dear, then what is this, eyy?" "50 people were hospitalized because of this!" "I was carrying the detergent, Ã‡eto was carrying that." "I was carrying it in my pocket like this." "Put it down, it is an evidence." "When this evidence fall out of my pocket my sergent," "I reached to grab it, to lift it of the ground." "Then this huge monstrosity..." "Wow, wow, wow!" "This monstrosity?" "Yes,came out of nowhere, held my finger like that, and twisted this way." "I turned and then we all burned." "This pretty much summarizes it." "What is this doing in your pocket?" "Chinese knock off, all because of that Mozambiques, they are no good." "Mozambiques you know." "Mozambique money." "And there is shitloads of it." "Onur said, they are no use and no good." "What do I know of Mozambiques." "Ask that to the scriptwriter." "Mr.Onur, not me." "Onur?" "Who the hell is Onur?" "That rascal Onur corrupted this poor Sülüman as well." "When we were at the cemetery that night," "I raised my hands "euzü bilahi mineþþeytanirracim bismillahirrahmanirrahim" I prayed." "But if I ever saw that candy box, or eat even one candy from it, may god strike me blind, never to see light again, my sergeant." "Onur claims innocence as well, but I don't trust anything he says but God is one." "You too think that he ate from the candy box too, don't you, that heaten Onur, right sergent?" "He surely did, but I vouch for this poor Sülüman that has nothing to do with any of this." "We decided to sell panties and bras at the bazaaar, poor thing." "I said I'm with you, let's sell panties and bras." "I even wore a bra inside, true story." "Panties, bras, candy, candybox..." "What in nine hells are you talking about?" "When he made me custodian over them..." "I mean he entrusted them to me, I had to get in the job." "See, they have eaten the candy, and for eating the candy..." "Don't talk plural Sülüman, I will strangle you, don't talk plural." "They have totaly lost it, Father Riza." "Call me Father Riza once more and I will beat you in Baal-sally." "Go find me this Onur scoundrel A.S.A.P., go now!" "And don't wear those loose pants." "Get out of my sight." "What the hell?" "We were discussing something private sergeant." "Ohh, can'); on then." "All of you out, out, out." "Sülüman, I was defending you here, dude." "Now dear sergeant, Sülüman and Ã‡eto are as clean as water and soap, pure boys both, no harm to anyone." "What about you my dear Onur?" "How clean are you?" "Well, I am getting okey so far." "Ohh dear Onur." "Sergeant, if you have any evidence to lock me up, please do so, I believe in justice." "No answers there it seems, parked the car in an awkward place, soo long, see you around!" "Good day." "Onur dear, why is the money in hospital?" "How many times do I have to tell you, outside was crawling with cops it would be risky to get out with money." "So I jumped in the ambulance." "Uncle, uncle, oh my uncle." "Uncle!" "Relax sire." "How can I be?" "He is half a dad to me." "Don't hold me please, for the love of god!" "Uncle!" "Who are you?" "Who am I?" "My uncle is having a concussion it seems." "Give him oxygen, ohh my poor uncle." "Get him in, get him!" "Oh my dear, oh my uncle, go on, go, go, go my uncle my uncle, god, ohh my dear uncle..." "...he is like a father to me." "Sit down, close the door, close it, close it, selamýn aleyküm." "Once inside the hospital, I entered morgue and put the money inside an empty coffin!" "Tomorrow morning we will go to the morgue, get the coffin for burial, I mean our money!" "God, god send me that ambulance." "Onur, I bet my reputation that you pulled something at metro." "I am sure." "Please my sergeant, mother..." "Continue Cemil." "Sire, the man used the metro for a week, in a regular fashion." "...but nothing to arouse suspicion if there were any, I would have noticed it anyhow." "In a week he practically used the metro every hour." "Check the times,he wanted to check every hour window." "There must be something." "Sire, the metro isn't a lucrative spot for robbers anymore..." "People are not using money anymore but tickets." "What will they do?" "Steal the smart tickets?" "And no other reports than the assault." "I would have noticed, if there were any other reports." "And once I notice it," "I would have put them in custody." "Here Cemil, don't use hair gel anymore, Cemil." "Don't rattle it dude." "Sergeant, they came to hospital, they took a coffin, loading it to funeral car." "I think they will go to cemetery with the funeral car." "Roger that, I am on pursuit." "Onur, Onur what are you up to?" "What is up with hospital or funeral?" "I will find out what you are up to, or my name is not Storm Riza." "I feel, that you are up to no good and I will prove it." "But what is this rascal doing in the hospital?" "I remember this great movie I once watched sire." "3 buddies pull of a big robbery." "Then they place the money in the nearest hospital's morgue." "When it all settles down and is quiet, they went into the morgue, inside the coffin..." "I got it." "They put the money in the morgue in the hospital, then take it out of morgue in a coffin." "See how I found it?" "Sargent, I envy your great intellect." "Easy, easy lads." "Let's go and throw a few shovels of earth..." "And say our prayers lads, it is customary." "Here we go." "Wait, wait." "Hodja,my uncle willed to be buried with a coffin." "I would appreciate, if we honor his will." "Pfff, we are screwed." "End of the line Onur." "What's up sergeant?" "You didn't see it coming, did you?" "End of the road Onur, the end." "I have no idea what you are talking about right now!" "You will." "Onur you will!" "Open the coffin!" "No I forbid it, you can't open it, he is my uncle, my uncle." "Open the coffin, open it." "Tövbe yarabbi tövbe bismillah." "What the hell?" "What is this?" "I can't believe it!" "So do I. What is this?" "My strapping uncle has gone,he is gone!" "Where to?" "God knows it Sülüman." "Only god knows, whether heaven or hell." "I'm not talking about that dude." "Talk some more and where we headed will be certain." "Sergeant, for the love of god and prophet, you have seen my uncle." "If you have any respect for the dead, let us burry him." "For the love of god." "Condolences." "Thank you." "Onur." "Yes." "I got my eyes on you." "Sure, sure." "Move." "C'mon." "His uncle has passed away." "Hodja, if everything is in order," "I say we bury him quick." "Police are leaving." "I see." "What are they up to this time, those charlatans?" "What they are up to?" "No good for sure." "Wait a second, what are they doing here?" "We will see Selim." "Hospital, cemetery, I feel depressed." "Holy Quran, dude." "You were doing just fine in Turkish bath, weren't you Selim?" "EstaÄŸfirullah, brother." "Selim, are your parents related?" "How can they not be, they are husband and wife." "Dude, how the hell did we manage to get the wrong coffin?" "You should be glad that we did, what else you want?" "Ohh, we might as well belly dance together when Hacamat comes, knocking." "Ahh, there is that, the Hacamat, we forgot him." "C'mon mate, c'mon." "Judging from their hurry, it seems they lost the money again." "You tail them now." "I talked to the women, she will bring the coffin soon." "Don't blow it!" "And our angel of death arrives." "A bit late." "Selamün alekyüm we rahmeturullah we bereket." "Aleyküm selam brother." "Aleyküm selam." "Soo brethren Onur, here we are, mano a mano, quarter gold tell me, what mischief is going on in here?" "God forbid brother, welcome, what mischief?" "Cut the crap, quarter gold." "Where is my money?" "Uhhhhh." "Selim." "Put em down." "As you wish sire." "Stop, stop easy, she arrived." "She is here, she is here." "Sony for your loss." "May he rest in peace may he reside in heaven." "Come sister." "Amen to that." "Where is the coffin, sister?" "He always wanted to get cremated." "We honored his last wish, here you go." "Son of a deceased..." "Ã‡eto?" "Yes?" "I'm feeling sick." "Why?" "Don't know which part of the decased hit me." "If you are feeling sick, it must be his ass." "Onur." "Yes brother?" "Where is my money brethrens?" "Well, it is a surprise for us as well, his will was to be cremated after his demise, what can you do?" "What does the book say?" "Ä°t says 'elamanül kill ta velhakül kullu, kullu kuuul' quarter gold, bring me that book." "Ahh getting old, can't remember everything all the time." "That is the one with stories, give the other." "See what does it say here." "It says: 'yel entaül mefta hülhfee ya günahül meftai ...sefta', meaning, if you want to torture someone, leave him alone with his sins." "Therefore I gave up the idea of torturing you." "I will instruct Selim to pop one in your skulls." "Then, I will cremate your bodies in a furnace and drop the ashes to deep and cold waters of the Bosphorus." "You will take your places in history as 3 Turks, that jumped from the Bosphorus Bridge." "That is superb, may god be praised." "Idiot Ã‡eto, are you listening with your ass?" "He is going to kill us, burn us and throw us from the bridge." "Stupid Sülüman, would you prefer he burned us alive?" "Assume he didn't burn us, would it be better if he threw us down the bridge, while we were alive?" "I don't know how to swim." "Me neither." "I never thought this way, you are right." "How good and dandy it all started." "Started like a Turkish movie, ending it like an Indian one." "All that money was tot good to be true anyhow." "All a dream." "Idiots, who robbed the exchange office?" "We did." "Who robbed the metro in broad daylight, like taking candy from a kid?" "We did." "It means, that we are capable men, who can find any amount of money anytime we need." "He is right." "Such men are not easy to find." "And now here you are, talking about killing such valuable men, it won't do." "So you are saying, they can do so much more, get more mileage out of them?" "Exactly my point." "Okey then, let's tell Selim, to pop one in your skull then." "Oh no, as you know, no matter how good the machinery is, ...it won't function without a motor." "Tövbe estaÄŸfirullah, Onur brethren, you are such a hollowed creature, calling yourself motor and all that I am out of words." "You managed to trick me again in two minutes." "Should we eat the ice cream?" "Another time." "Why, maybe I want to eat." "Another time maybe." "Okey then, M.G.W.O Y." "Off I go, see you later." "Where is he going?" "To Leyla." "Ohh, he loves Leyla, don't you know." "No shit Sherlock, nothing escapes your keen observation skills, of course he does." "He is a bit silly though." "Whatever happened to us, it is all his fault." "Don't talk behind his back mate." "Deep down, in the core, he is a good man." "Remember our dorm days, he took quite a beating for us." "Do you remember a kid came to you, a shorty, and said bastard to you, mouthful." "Yes." "You were stunned, couldn't do a thing, you were shocked." "...Onur came and bam kapoww, kicked his ass to the curb." "I remember, he beat him." "And then he was suspended from school." "For us." "My brother!" "We are brothers dude." "Ã‡eto, who do we have but each other?" "As god is my witness, whatever you say about him, he is a good man." "Indeed." "But we don't talk about these near Onur." "Why?" "He becomes a spoiled air head." "You are right." "He is our brother." "Ã‡eto, who do we have but each other for god's sake." "Selamýn aleyküm brethren Onur." "What is this about at this ungodly hour?" "Not good news for sure Hacamat brother." "I will give you my two cents." "You know our Sülo and Ã‡eto.." "...they are not my friends, no, they are my brothers." "My breath, my heart." "If I fall today, they will lift me up." "If I get cold, they are fire." "If I am on fire, they are water." "What I am trying to say is, don't touch my friends." "Don't touch my Sülo, don't touch my Ã‡eto." "If anything happens to them, I who had never even hurt an ant, swear an oath on all that's holy," "I will lay you down and I won't even look back." "So you will lay me down and would not even look back, is that it, brethren Onur?" "I didn't mean that, would I ever walk away from you or make you upset?" "I am nothing without you, without you even dogs won't eat me." "God forgive, you might as well sing a song while you are at it." "Let's not get carried away, songs won't be manly." "1, 2, 3, 4..." "Her dress looks like red, her dress looks like red, coming for you." "Her peach tastes like honey, her peach tastes like honey.." "I would have sang better if it wasn't for the one with shovel, he creeps me a little." "Brethren Onur, I wonder, do you have any bones in your body?" "If my head passes, my body will follow it wherever I go, like a mouse." "C'mon, don't stand there like cows, start your breakfast." "You come as well, comb Hasan." "Enough combing lad, put it in your pocket." "Don't start my brother Sülü, don't." "God knows what this heaten is up to, what sins is he trying to lure us into?" "Stop babbling, lets say our prayers and open shop, shall we?" "He said prayer?" "Did you hear that?" "Sülüman, did you hear him saying prayer?" "Onur, if you have another heist planned, please tell, so I can adjust my psychology." "Are we thief s, dude?" "What heist." "Forget heists, Hacamat and all that shit, it was a dream and we woke up." "Allah Allah." "Oh, Leyla is calling." "Leyla, my delicate flower, honeylips, my love, what are you up to?" "My love, my only desire, my beloved, hihi, god forgive me." "Brethren Onur, you are one holy romantic man." "Pardon me, but what is Leyla's phone doing in your hands?" "Don't panic brethren, relax, I'll give her the phone she will explain." "Onur," "Leyla my love are you all right?" "Are you ok?" "Have they done anything to you?" "She is fine, we haven't done anything to her, yet." "This does not mean we won't though, brethren." "I hope you got our message." "...as it says in the book 'telaardün indi vel mentu muminül bin...'" "It means a believer should know how to get down, like he knows how to get up." "...with god's blessings," "I will make vanison out of that lamb." "Onur, what's going on, I am afraid." "Hello, Leyla?" "Onur." "Leyla, are you alright deaf!" "Have they done anything to you?" "I am fine Onur, but who are those men?" "They dragged me into a car in the middle of the street, than released me after talking to you." "I will soo frank them sideways." "Onur, I am terrified, please come." "I will come love, I will come, never to leave again." "But you have to give me a couple of days now love." "You go home now." "Close your cellphone and go home." "What is happening?" "No stop, stop, stop." "Selamýn aleyküm." "Aleyküm selam brother, what's up?" "Did the producer like the script?" "Forget about producer and script and answer me this one." "How much money tops can you get from a metro heist?" "Why are you asking me this?" "Everybody who rides the metro has this Akbil thingie now, the smart ticket." "They click and go, click and go." "No money is deposited in the safe at the end of the day." "And you say, I researched before I wrote." "How the hell can I trust you dude?" "What is it to you about the cash in the safe bro?" "This is a script, an absurd comedy one at that." "Frank money dude, I got nothing to do with money." "This is producers piece of mind, lam just relaying it to you." "Soo, the producer didn't like at that much?" "Not as so much not like, but he says a heist with bigger loot would enthrall the audience and such, you know what I mean." "That's easy bro, here, original." "At least 5 milion." "...a mint heist..." "Ohh really original." "If there would be a problem with the name, we will produce it with title." "I name 'thee mint'." "If that doesn't work, how about 'Turk's struggle with mint?" "Good." "Dude, P.S., mother's milk is crucial for the first 6 months." "I now present our esteemed counsellor to the lectern with your applause." "Greetings." "Counsellor is here, if we are caught, we will rot in jail." "Onur, I was a fan of your intellect." "Now I am extra impressed." "I am sure this place was empty the whole year around, and you pick this day with counsellor and all to pull the heist." "This robbery and heist thing is not our cup of tea anyhow." "Let's walk away brother, c'mon." "Stop yapping dude, you made my head hurt." "Did I call the counsellor?" "Besides, we can use this situation to our advantage, while all eyes are on the counsellor, we will sneak in unnoticed to the mint." "C'mon follow me, go, go." "Here we are following this rascal again, why do we do this?" "Move, move." "Onur." "Yeah." "What the hell are we supposed to do now?" "We will first sneak into staff room..." ""change our clothes, than we will mingle with them." "We should at least wait for the counsellor to leave, it would be rude." "Yes, it would go down on his record." "Frack his record, for god's sake, get in brother, what are you doing?" "Door is already open, what are you doing?" "Come..." "Come over." "Onur." "What." "Where is the money, where is the gold?" "This son of a gun scriptwriter fooled us again, I tell you." "How would I know mate, look around, someone is coming." "Pretend to work." "Someone is coming." "Yes, yes intensify the red, yes intensify the red a little, attention." "Honorable counsellor, this is our printing unit." "As you were friends." "Thank you, thank you." "How long have you been working here?" "Now dear counsellor, actually we are networking here." "I mean, we just started working, we don't exactly do this procedures." "You would give me credence if you knew my story and all that facts of life." "We are originally 3 buddies, we have Onur who is a bit of a rascal." "This one is Onur." "He is the one who got is into all of this." "He took us to an exchange office one day." "I took my gun out there and said "Give me the Mozambique currency now", ...from there to cemetery, this poor soul fainted there, ...got dirt all over him, then came who?" "The mafia, Hacamat he had a lamb named Polat." "I talk to Polat." "But I can't talk to Selim, the man in the suit, carrying a shovel all the time, he named the shovel Güllü." "This one called her aunt-in-law Güllü." "He beat me with that shovel..." "A lot." "Dear counsellor, and here we have graphic design section, let's take a look." "As you were guys, take it easy." "Onur got us in all this dear counsellor, and it all got tangled up." "And after that my counsellor," "Shut up!" "And no insurance." "Frack your insurance man." "Really, frack you and your insurance." "Soo what we gonna do now?" "Soo what we gonna do, we screwed up we are leaving." "You literally scared the man away by talking brother." "Isn't there any money around here?" "Here money, see." "Yap, Yap, yap, yap, like an engine." "Move." "Holy shit, this is gold men." "Ohh we are saved." "Yes." "Move bro, move." "Dude, what are you doing here?" "You scoundrels, I am here for what you are here for." "So you wiseguys were enacting my scripts in real world." "How did I bust you, eyy?" "We actually reserved one of the sacks for you dude." "What will I do with that?" "Am I a thief like you?" "Leave those sacks to the ground now." "C'mon put them down, look at me." "I should turn you guys in, but we have a history so I won't report you." "Bravo Hadi, bravo brother." "I congragulate you." "You are the man, we are sinners, but you turned out to be a real believer." "Stop confusing my head, leave the sacks, brothers, leave them." "What did you do?" "What the hell did you do?" "Run dude, run." "Move, run." "Easy hooo, easy." "Just pullover a car, damn." "Selamýn aleyküm brethren, hope I didn't make you wait too long." "Aleyküm selam brother Hacamat, no, you arrived just in time." "Since you are here and the gold is here, we will give them to you and be release from our debt and bondage." "Give them, give of course, would I ever offend you?" "But dear brother, among them is a hefty sum belonging to us as well." "I would like to mention that." "Well brethren Onur, we will not split hair over such figures." "Look here look, take this brethren." "Soo this is the gang, I caught you, all red handed this time, you are done for." "We are screwed." "You will spend the remainder of your days together in a cell block." "Told you, I will get you, didn't I Onur?" "May god smite you down Onur." "Cemil." "Sergeant, these are decomissioned coins, no longer in use." "What?" "I mean they are out of circulation." "They would be in circulation if they weren't taken out." "Cemil, do not wear those shoes again." "Sergeant, we are in movie business now and we needed props for it." "That's why we did it I mean." "Yes sergeant, scene 76/mint, midday take 075." "Indeed, I am chief of production, art director and an actor." "Sergeant, they are thief s." "They did it." "Sergeant, the thief s were apprehended with the gold they stole." "So these guys didn't do it?" "These one made it sergeant, they are the ones." "Hadi, so he looted the mint while, we arranged for the props." "They commited the robbery, I am innocent." "I can not articulate enough." "Who is a thief?" "You are the thief." "You are the thief you rascal!" "Who you calling a thief?" "Get the hell out of here now, move." "Get out." "Relax." "Who is this?" "The thief sergant." "I will get you one day Onur." "Of course." "You know it." "Sure." "We will meet again." "Bismillahirrahmanirrahim." "Selim, shoot them." "Of course sire." "Stop, stop it dude, stop." "What?" "Brother, here is my proposition, give us a month." "If we won't bring you 250K Euros, my god strike me down where I stand." "250.000 you say?" "Euros I say as well." "A muslim should believe a Muslim." "Tövbe estaÄŸfirullah, release them." "What's up?" "What are you doing here?" "We have been real assh...s to you brother, we understand that." "But we can't sleep peacefully at night dude." "What?" "Whenever I pass by your room, you sleep like a bunch of bears in hibernation." "Yes." "Believe us, that we are mentally upset, could not get a shuteye because of you, I swear." "Yes." "I am deeply sorry; to bother you like that brothers, sorry." "It is ok, we will survive, but more important than that is, we made a decision." "What decision?" "We will jailbreak you out of here." "What you say?" "How will you do it?" "You write a script, the rest is easy." "Ohh that is easy, here, original unique." "Is there Hacamat in it?" "Well, we will talk about it." "If he is in, I am out, I am afraid, he says something and I feint." "He says ass and he passes out." "Original you say." "It will be ok." "At least 5 million you say." "5 million at least." "ORB)'" "Between us brother, you got an ass like a public library, where we can find anything we need." "Dude."