"(BUSY MARKET HUBBUB)" "Hard to choose." "No, that's the one I want." "I'm starving." "This is all I have, sorry." "Half a loaf." "A quarter." "And then my friend Hercules will come back and pay you the rest at the end of the week." " Oh, Hercules." " You know him?" "Yes, he owes me for three weeks' bread already." "Ah, sorry." "That man's debt to me is bigger than his belly." "Really?" "That's..." " Yeah, that's big." " AIAS:" "Yes, sir?" "What about this stuff?" " AIAS:" "That's for the pigs." " Well, can I have some?" " No." " Why not?" "Because the pigs don't owe me money!" "AIAS:" "Yes, sir?" "Thank you." "Oi!" "Oh, sorry!" "(CLATTERING)" "Oh!" "(AIAS GRUNTS)" "(AIAS ROARS LOUDLY)" "(FLOORBOARDS CREAK)" "(SPLOSH)" "(SPLOSH)" "Look what I've got!" "(DISTANT CHATTERING)" "Hercules?" "Pythagoras?" "Boys?" "It's food!" "It's real food!" "It's meat." "(SIGHS)" "PYTHAGORAS:" "Come on, you can't stay here all day." "Hercules we will find a cure for Medusa, I promise." "But... it's not going to be at the bottom of a flagon of wine." "I already had a cure for Medusa, I was happy to give my life for hers." "You should never have stopped me." "You don't mean that." "(SIGHS) Come on." "I miss her so much." "We all do." "You can't carry on like this." "That's easy for you to say, you've never had your heart broken." "How do you know?" "In all the time we've been friends, I've never seen you with a woman." "Maybe that's because I'm not as easily pleased as you." "Well, maybe you bore them senseless with your theories and your triangles." "At least I'm not a drunk!" "Oh, leave me alone!" "Fine." "You can find your own way home." "If you can still walk." "PYTHAGORAS:" "Jason?" "(OUTER DOOR OPENS)" "(DOOR OPENS)" "He won't come home." "(MOUTH FULL) Hmm." "I will just have to leave him for a while." "Oh!" "Oh-ho!" "Oh, it would help if I weren't so hungry." "It's making me snappy." " I know." " (SIGHS DEEPLY)" "What I'd do for something to eat." "All day, all day," " all I do is dream... about food." " (LAUGHS) Yeah." "Yeah." "Imagine a succulent piece of meat gently roasted over a smouldering flame." " (BOTH CHUCKLE) - (SNIFFS)" "Oh, I can almost smell it." "(SNIFFS) Hang on, I I-I-I can smell it." "Er, I think that's coming from next door." "No, no, it's here." "It's here somewhere." "What are you doing?" "What are you doing?" "What is that behind your back?" " Hmm?" " (APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS)" "You're right, I'm useless, I'm not helping anybody, I'm sorry." "PYTHAGORAS:" "Oh, no, it's-it's..." "Oh, it's all right." "It's all right." " It's not your fault." " MAN OUTSIDE:" "Ow!" "(PLATE SMASHES BELOW)" " What is wrong with everybody?" "!" " (HERCULES SNORES)" "Don't know." " (SNORING CONTINUES)" " Oh..." "(DOOR CREAKS OPEN GENTLY)" "(SNIFFS)" "(SNARLS)" "(COCKEREL CROWS)" "What are you doing?" "I, um... don't know." "You thought it would be more comfortable on the floor, did you?" "(HERCULES GRUNTS AND GROANS)" "Breakfast." "I need breakfast." "Here." "(SIGHS) There's going to be nothing left of me soon." "Not that soon!" "We..." "We need food, we need money." "As I've been trying to tell you." "Somebody needs to get a job." "I've got us one." "Have you?" " PYTHAGORAS:" "Mm-hm." " What kind of a job?" "You are to keep guard." "JASON:" "Against...?" "This." "Not rats?" "!" "They chew through everything." "Including the walls." "Have you thought about getting a cat?" "Yeah." "They ate it." "Your job is to kill them." "Every single one of them." "(DOOR SLAMS SHUT)" "Come on we killed the Minotaur, remember?" "Oh, no..." "Oh." "Ooh!" "JASON:" "Our job is to guard them, not eat them." "But I'm starving." "(HERCULES CHUCKLES)" " HERCULES:" "It's good, isn't it?" " PYTHAGORAS:" "Lovely." "Shh!" "Shh!" "(WHISPERS) Don't move." "(WHISPERS) What is it?" "(FAINT SQUEAKING)" "A rat." "Where?" "Can't you smell it?" "(SNIFFS)" "What are you doing?" "(JASON ROARS)" "(RATS SQUEAK)" "(LOUD CLATTERING)" "(CLATTERING CONTINUES)" "What's going...?" "(RATS SQUEAK)" "What have you done?" "I'm sorry." "What kind of idiots are you?" "!" "You stupid, cretinous..." " HERCULES:" "Jason!" " PYTHAGORAS:" "No, no!" "Are you mad?" "!" "You're going to regret that." "No, no, no, no, no, no!" "Scientific reasoning tells us that" " there is another solution to everything." " Yes." "What is it this time?" "Run!" "I guess this means we won't be getting paid!" "Thanks to you." " The job was beneath us anyway." " (THEY PANT)" "I was born to wrestle lions and wolves, not rodents." "I am sorry." "I don't really know what came over me." "What is wrong with him?" "Have you ever seen him behave like that?" "HERCULES:" "Starvation." "It can do that to a man." "That's what worries me." "Look, I'm skin and bone already!" "(DOG BARKS)" "(THUD)" "(SNUFFLING GROWL)" "(HEAVY BREATHING)" "(LOW GROWL)" "(HEAVY BREATHING)" "(LOW GROWL)" "(FLOORBOARDS CREAK)" "(DOOR HINGES CREAK)" "(WHIRLING WIND AND SCUTTLING)" "(DOOR SLAMS)" "(DOOR RATTLES AND SQUEAKS)" " (DOOR THUDS) - (HINGES SQUEAK)" "(CREAKING)" " (SNARLING)" " Huh?" "!" "(LOW GROWL)" "(HE PANTS)" "(PANTS HEAVILY)" "(CHICKENS CLUCK)" "(COCKEREL CROWS)" "(CHICKENS CLUCK)" "(DUCKS QUACK)" "(COCKEREL CROWS)" "(CHICKEN CLUCKS)" "(CHICKEN SQUAWKS FURIOUSLY)" "(CHICKEN SQUAWKS)" "(DOOR OPENS)" "Morning!" "Do you want to tell us what's going on?" "I don't remember." "I was in bed, I went to sleep next, I'm waking up naked in an animal pen." "It happens." "Well, not to me!" "Never?" "No." "This, the aggression, the sense of smell, something has happened to you." "Have you done anything different, been anywhere?" "No." "Nowhere." "Are you sure?" "Think, Jason, this is important." "(SIGHS)" "There was one place." "JASON:" "I'm not sure what it was, really." "It was a sort of shrine." "Just to the north of the Sacred Way." "(DOOR CREAKS OPEN)" "(GROWLS)" "It is a temple to Hecate." "Hecate." "Who is Hecate?" "I will never cease to be amazed by your ignorance and stupidity." "She is the goddess of witchcraft." "When you were there, what did you do?" "Nothing." "I hid for a bit and then I left." "Did you touch anything?" " No." " Take anything?" "What were you thinking?" "!" "I was hungry." "This is sacrificial meat." " HERCULES:" "This is not good." " Why not?" "Eating an offering to the gods, are you mad?" "That's sacrilege." "JASON:" "So..." "So what are you saying?" "I don't know." "Where are you going?" "To try and find some answers." "Whatever you do, don't let him leave." "(HUSHED) Why?" "What's wrong with him?" "I won't be long!" "What did he just to say?" "Nothing." "Why are you looking at me like that?" "What?" "Like what?" "What?" "Hercules!" "(SLURRED) Medusa..." " PYTHAGORAS:" "Hercules!" " (HERCULES GROANS)" "Oh, what happened?" "!" "Jason." "Again?" "Have you heard of the Stygian hounds, the Kynikoi that guard Hecate?" " Of course." " Some say that these hounds were once her priests, turned into vicious monsters by the goddess's powers." "These are just stories to frighten children." "Are they?" "Many have written of the horrors that they unleash, many claim to have seen them." " What are you trying to say?" " I believe that by eating the sacred offering, Jason has been cursed." "When night falls, he becomes a Kynikos, stalking the streets and devouring anyone who crosses his path." " Wh-Where are you going?" " We have to find him and protect him." "Protect him?" "Who's going to protect us?" "!" "You have to find a cure!" "(SNARLING)" " (RUMBLING GROWL) - (GOATS BLEAT)" " (SNARLING) - (GOAT BLEATS)" "(HEAVY ANIMAL BREATHS)" "(RAPIDLY APPROACHING PAW STEPS)" "(SNARLING)" "(RIPPING)" "(BLEATING AND SNARLING)" "(GROWLING)" "(SIGHS) This is starting to be a habit." " Sorry." " We need to find a remedy." "In the meantime..." "What did you do that for?" "!" "I didn't have time to explain." " He's dangerous." " At night-time!" "Until you find a cure, I'm not taking any chances." "(SIGHS)" "Are you awake?" "Jason?" "(SIGHS)" "Hmm?" "(THUDDING)" "Hmm..." "Shh!" "(HERCULES SIGHS)" "And you saw it?" "SHEPHERD:" "It was tall, bigger than a wolf, with teeth like tusks." " But it did not harm you?" " No," "I saw it and I ran." "Do you believe him?" "I thought it prudent to pursue it." ""Teeth like tusks"!" "I looked for tracks, I didn't find any." "And the goat?" "Something killed it, it's hard to say what." "I doubt we'll hear anything more of this, but keep me informed." "How are you feeling?" "Much the same." "Let me get you a drink." "(LIQUID POURS)" "Here, my love." "You are so good to me." "It's no more than you deserve." "(MARKET HUBBUB)" "Oh!" "I knew you'd find a cure, you're a genius!" "No, I'm not sure it will work and even if it does I'm not sure he'll survive it." "Where is Jason?" "Don't worry, he's, er, safe." "You..." "(WHISPERS) You didn't?" "Well, I couldn't risk him turning on me." "Now, come on, what do we need to do?" "What?" "We need silver." " Silver?" " And quite a lot of silver." "(WHISPERS) Ah, silver." "How did you know she'd be here?" "She's Poseidon's servant." "She's here at this time every day." "How on earth do we get past the guards?" "PYTHAGORAS:" "Oh, agh..." "No, help!" "Help!" "Help!" "Aargh, argh, aargh!" "HERCULES:" "Psst!" "Psst!" "It's for Jason." "PYTHAGORAS:" "No!" "Help, help, help!" "Oh!" "Oh, no..." "Oh..." "I thought you said a small diversion?" "Well, it worked, didn't it?" " Is she going to help us?" " I don't know." "Well, how did she react?" "Like we were insane." "HERCULES:" "If you care for Jason, then I beg of you, please bring a pouch of silver and meet with us in the temple at dusk." " Ow, ow, ow!" " I told you I was going to make you pay." " PYTHAGORAS:" "Ow, ow!" " (RATS SQUEAK)" "PYTHAGORAS:" "Surely we can settle this in a reasonable manner?" "Ow!" "Oh!" "You can't do this to us!" "Don't worry, I'll let you go when you've cleaned up this place and got rid of the rats!" " Let us out." " Please!" "MARO:" "I told you what you need to do." "We'll be back, I promise." "We have to be somewhere at dusk." "Our friend's life depends on it." "MARO:" "Then you'd better start working!" "(LOCK CLANGS)" "(RATS SQUEAK)" "JASON:" "Hercules!" "Pythagoras!" "(BANGING)" "JASON:" "Come on!" "Hercules!" "Pythagoras!" "Ugh!" " (CLATTERING)" " I'm so sorry, my Lady." "Here, let me." " Is... something the matter?" " No, not at all." " Where are you going?" " To take some air." "You... can trust me." "There is something I must do, it's for a friend." "No-one must know." "Of course." "Thank you." " You're just eating!" " No, I'm not." "Hercules, it'll be dusk soon, we need to get to the temple." "I'm gathering bait." "You have to think like a rat." "There seems to be more room." " Where's everything gone?" " (HERCULES BURPS)" "Well, you see, I-I used geometry to work out the vertices... in the room, thereby understanding the overall capacity, and then I reorganised everything to... to allow for the most efficient use of space." "Mm, mm, it's part of a theorem he's developing." "Well, you're free to go." "(HERCULES SIGHS WITH RELIEF)" "(RATS SQUEAK)" "JASON:" "Hercules!" "Pythagoras!" " Let me out!" " (BANGING)" "Right, one..." " Run!" " I'm not a gazelle!" "I can see that." " Maybe she's not coming." " Maybe she's late." "Maybe she was here but got fed up of waiting." "Maybe she's gone to the house." "Jason." "HERCULES:" "Pythagoras!" "(CHICKEN SQUAWKS)" "(FLOORBOARDS RATTLE)" "(JASON GRUNTS)" "(KNOCKING AT DOOR)" "Ariadne!" "ARIADNE:" "Your..." "Your..." "Your friends." "They had arranged to meet me." "I thought perhaps something had happened to them." "They seemed worried about you." "What?" "About me?" "Why?" "I..." "I'm fine." "Are you sure?" "Yes." " Aren't you going to invite me in?" " Of course." "No!" "No, no." "But I thought you'd be pleased." "I am, it's just I'm worried for you." " Worried?" " Yes, it's a... (COUGHS AND WINCES)" " Jason?" " (JASON PANTS)" "It's dangerous for you." "Why?" "Hairs..." " Hairs?" " Oh..." "Ah, yes, hares." "You know, they're like rabbits but bigger." "I know what hares are, Jason, but they're not dangerous." "You'd be surprised." "Please, I've risked much to come here." "The least you can do is let me in." "(JASON PANTS)" "(SNIFFS)" "Sorry!" "I'm confused." "So am I." " Well, where are they?" " What?" "The hares." "The, er..." "Oh, I don't know." "(HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Look, Ariadne, you need to go, it's not good that you're here, and it's getting dark... (HE GROWLS)" "(HE GROANS)" "Jason?" "(JASON GROWLS)" "(COUGHS)" "I'm sorry, I think I have something stuck in my thro..." "Are you all right?" "I'll get you some water." "(GROWLS)" "(GROWLS INTENSIFY)" "What's going on?" "I'm..." "I'm so sorry we were late." "Where's Jason?" "(POTTERY SMASH ES)" "What have you done with him?" "Oh, Pythagoras didn't, er, explain?" " (JASON GROWLS)" " No, no, no, well... (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Well, you're-you're-you're much... better at that sort of thing than I am." "HERCULES:" "No, no, no, no." "No, no, you're far more acquainted with physician-y kind of things." "No, but this isn't a physician-y kind of thing, is it?" "Well, what is it, then?" "(JASON GROANS)" " That's what you're going to tell her." " (POTTERY SMASHES)" "He... is... afraid of the dark." " (JASON GROANS LOUDLY)" " I want to see him." "BOTH:" "No, no, no!" "No, no!" "Look, I..." "I know it sounds strange, but you really can't go in there." "You have to trust me." "Just tell me Jason's all right." "When we have the silver, he will be." "I give you my word." "It's late." "I must return to the palace." "Oh, thank the gods!" "Now all we have to do is get the silver inside him." "(JASON GROWLS)" "(RIPPING)" "There's been a sighting." "This time, by a patrol." "It matches the shepherd's description." "The beast attacked them, they were forced to flee." "Where was this?" "Within the city walls, just east of the Telapias Gate." "Summon the garrison." "(DOG HOWLS)" "This way!" "PYTHAGORAS:" "We must suspend it in liquid and get Jason back here to drink it." "That's not bad." "HERCULES:" "Uh-huh." "Aah..." "Aah..." "Aah!" "Oh, come on." "We have to find him." " HERCULES:" "Where do we start?" " He's under the thrall of the goddess." "We'll go where her presence is greatest." "HERCULES:" "The temple." "PYTHAGORAS:" "Hercules!" "(GROWLING)" "(CHICKEN SQUAWKS)" "(SNARLING)" " They've lost him." " How do you know?" "Trust me." "(MECHANISM OPENS)" "He's heading for the temple." "PYTHAGORAS:" "Hercules!" "(JASON HOWLS)" "HEPTARIAN:" "Get out of the way, you idiots!" "(JASON LAPS WATER)" "(LOW GROWL)" "(HEAVY BREATHING)" "(JASON GROWLS AND SNARLS)" "(WHISPERS) What do we do now?" " We trap him." " How?" "Like this." " Here, doggy." "Here, doggy, doggy." " (JASON SNARLS)" " Here, doggy." "Here, doggy." " (JASON GROWLS)" "(THUDDING AT DOOR)" "We have to keep him in there till dawn." "(JASON GROWLS AND BANGS)" "HEPTARIAN:" "This way." "HERCULES:" "How long till the sun comes up?" "PYTHAGORAS:" "We have some time to wait." "(HERCULES SIGHS)" "How much time?" "It's interesting you should ask, because I've been thinking that there must be a way to..." "measure the passage of time." "Why would you want to measure the passage of time?" "Well, for situations such as this." "When your friend's been turned into a rabid dog-like creature?" "And other more normal situations." "Oh, I just find time a... very fascinating concept." "(HERCULES SIGHS)" "What are you doing?" "It's time for me to sleep, time for you to keep watch and wake me when it's dawn." "(HERCULES SNORES)" "(WHISPERS) Hercules." "(HERCULES SNORES)" " Hercules." " What, what?" " Pendulum." " What?" "The regular swinging of a pendulum could be used to measure the passage of time." "And you woke me up to tell me that?" "!" "No, no, I woke you because it's dawn." "Oh, oh!" "HERCULES:" "Oof!" "HERCULES:" "Now..." "Go on." "(DOOR CREAKS OPEN)" "Are you all right?" "Yeah." "BOTH:" "Oh, please!" " We've found a cure." " We need to get you home." "(GROWLING)" "(THEY GRUNT AND GROAN)" "(MAN GROWLS)" "JASON:" "Aah!" "Argggh!" "Ugh!" "Do something." " What?" "!" " HERCULES:" "Anything." "Wolfsbane is said to be useful in stopping wolves, but that's wolves." "Pythagoras!" "Mountain ash." "Mountain ash is also said to be very effective." "HERCULES:" "Pythagoras!" "Of course." "Pythagoras!" " Tuto didom'epi su, Hekatair." " (PYTHAGORAS GROANS)" "Pythagoras!" "(THUNDEROUS CRASH)" "(EXHALES SHARPLY)" "(PYTHAGORAS SIGHS)" "It wasn't mountain ash, but it seemed to work." "Come on." "We need to get you home." "(THEY GRUNT AND GROAN)" "(JASON COUGHS)" "You need to take the lot." "(COUGHS)" "Will it work?" "So long as I've got the proportions right and so long as he's strong, then yes." "Aah!" "(JASON WINCES)" "Please tell me Ariadne doesn't know I was a dog." "She probably won't remember." "She's a woman - they have memories longer than the gods." "PYTHAGORAS:" "I'm trying not to make him worry!" "Right, right." "Of course." "I'm sure you didn't do anything that bad." "I virtually slammed the door in her face." "That's what lovers do." "I think I sniffed her." "Well, it could be worse, considering." "I may have... growled at her." "You're done for." "Well, not if it was a... "barrgh"!" "No, no, it was more like... (GROWLS DEEPLY)" "Ooh, that's going to be hard to explain." "Yeah, I think, on this occasion," "I'll have to agree with Hercules." "Oh..." " Arr!" " Raargh!" " Not helping." " PYTHAGORAS:" "Sorry." "CIRCE:" "Need I remind you that you swore an oath?" "If you fail, it will not only be your life I take." "I have to kill Pasiphae." "JASON:" "Aagh!"