"GRACE:" "Previously on The Secret Life of the American Teenager..." "I miss you." "And I miss Lauren." "Yeah, well, you should have thought about how much you were going to miss us before you slept with Jesse." "Who do you hate?" "Madison." "She..." "Stole my idea for a paper that we had to write for sociology class." "But now I'm forbidden to see Dylan again, and..." "I am going to see Dylan again." "The three of you are going to end your friendship because you bought the same backpack as Lauren?" "Well, she wanted to be the only one that had it." "You wanna have dinner, just the two of us?" "We haven't done that in a long time." "So that leaves the two of us." "And your buddies." "What buddies?" "Hi, Amy." "Shut up." "This isn't about a backpack?" "It's not about a backpack." "It's not about a stolen idea for a paper, either." "That wasn't Ben's pot we were smoking." "Then whose pot was it?" "Mercedes." "Mom, what is it?" "Your dad had a girlfriend." "I want to know my brother and my sister." "I am sure they want to get to know you as well." "But I want them to have some time to absorb all this." "Hi, there." "Oh." "Hi." "How are you?" "Fine, thank you." "And you?" "Well, I'd be better if we weren't talking as if we were in some sort of textbook on manners." "What's up, sister?" "Nothing." "I'm just here to meet George." "Are Amy and Ricky here yet?" "Oh." "They're not coming." "I said I'd watch the little fellas." "What?" "Well, to be perfectly honest," "I don't know how comfortable I feel with that." "I mean, Robie doesn't know you all that well yet, and... (LAUGHS) I'm goofing on you." "Ricky and Amy are coming to babysit and that's why I made little John his favorite meal." "Oh!" "I didn't know he had a favorite meal." "But, you know, I don't get to spend that much time with him anymore." "Well, then you should come up here more often." "Or Amy and Ricky should bring him down more often." "Or you should come up here more often." "We'd all like to see you more often." "What does that mean, exactly?" "You'd all like to see me more often." "Nothing." "Other than that." "I mean, who, specifically, is "all"?" "BOTH:" "I was not looking at you." "You know, George did this." "Yeah, I was perfectly comfortable with you, and then..." "I don't know, you got all comfortable with him, and then I started thinking that you two were talking about me and whether or not I'm gay, and I'm not gay." "But I don't care about you being gay, and just for the record, that is not the issue that I have with you taking care of John." "It's just that..." "That I'm an addict, or an ex-addict, and I have a record and, oh, I was a bad mom to boot." "And let's see, you're okay with my being gay." "And with your not being gay." "Got it." "You're not looking at me?" "No!" "Are you looking at me?" "No, I am not looking at you, but..." "Not to call you a liar but I think you are looking at me." "Oh, great." "I think we left some things in the car." "And I think I'll help you find them." "Don't look at me." "Oh." "(SIGHS)" "I'm not gay." "No one said you were." "What are you talking about?" "Your father saw me talking to Nora a few weeks ago, just talking." "And then he accused me of looking at her." "That's ridiculous." "He told her, she told Ricky, and Ricky told you." "I knew it." "He skipped her." "He told Ricky and Ricky told me." "But it's still ridiculous." "Yeah, it is." "But you know, um, even if it's not ridiculous, that would be okay." "What?" "Amy, I'm not gay." "I didn't say anything." "Not to her, anyway." "Ready to go?" "I guess." "Me, too." "I'm going out with Lauren." "Ricky will be here." "When were you going to tell us this?" "I don't know, why would I tell you this?" "Because I thought that you and Ricky were babysitting together." "You don't trust Ricky with Robie and John?" "Oh." "You don't trust Ricky and Nora with Robie and John." "Fine." "There's no reason not to trust Ricky." "He would never let anything happen to Robie or John, but if you don't trust him, then maybe you should make Ashley stay home and babysit for you." "She and Toby went to look at a community college that I asked her to look at before she goes off to Florida again." "So I would really appreciate it if you would stay here." "But why?" "Because I asked you to and because that's what I feel most comfortable with and because you said you would." "So, Amy, do you mind?" "I don't care if she minds." "Amy." "Your mother really doesn't ask you to do anything very often." "So, you stay here with Ricky and babysit the boys and we're going out like we planned." "This is not the first time you've asked me to babysit." "Look, I don't mind suffering because I had a baby when I shouldn't have, but I do mind suffering because you two had a baby when you shouldn't have." "It's summer!" "I would like to just have one summer in high school where I don't have to be responsible every single minute for someone else." "And whose fault is that?" "Okay, fine." "Just the three of you go out." "We will be fine without your help, Amy." "We certainly wouldn't want to add to your suffering." "Good." "You know, everyone thinks my life is perfect because I'm engaged and everything, but it's not." "My life is not perfect." "Sometimes it sucks!" "♪ Falling in love is such an easy thing to do" "♪ Birds can do it We can do it" "♪ Let's stop talking Let's get to it" "♪ Let's fall in love" "+" "NORA:" "Good job!" "Good job!" "(NORA BABBLING PLAYFULLY)" "No." "We're going." "No, we're not." "Amy, come on, let's not get your parents all upset." "Just call Lauren meet her some other night." "No, I don't want and tell heren" "I'll meet he: some other night." "There's no reason tonight like we had planned." "I don't have any homework tonight and I wanto go to the concert in the park." "Oh, come on, it's not to that stupid concert." "It's nothing. out of the house." "Yes, I do want out of the house." "And I was looking forward to being out of the house and if you're not then too bad for them.obie," "(CHUCKLES) Wow, Miss Cranky-Pants." "You getting your period or something?" "Is that any of your business?" "Is it?" "Like you're never in a bad mood." "Maybe you're getting your period." "Can we go now?" "I knew this was going to happen." "Amy wants to go out with Lauren tonight." "And she doesn't want to babysit so I said I would babysit but I told her and she didn't, and now and her dad's upset and she's upset, and..." "(SIGHS) Great." "Maybe she's feeling confined." "I mean, I know the feeling." "Of course, I know it from being confined, which is why this apart, pretty much." "No one trusts me to babysit." "Yeah, incarceration doesn't it?" "sequences," "Oh, "incarceration."" "Pulling out I'm impressed." "I don't know if Amy's feeling confined or it's just but something's up with her." "You think?" "Maybe it has nothing to do with you." "One would hope." "Yeah, one would hope." "if you thinkn idiot this has nothing whatever it is." "I'm not an idiot." "Don't call me names." "Well, you called me an ex-con." "I mean, you used fancy words, but that's what you said." "But... (CAR HORN HONKS)" "I forgot that you didn't have your car, so get John and I'll drop the two of you off." "You know what?" "I'll stay here." "I'll talk to your mom." "She'll be okay with me staying with Robie, and you just go do whatever you need to do tonight and pick me up later." "My mother won't be okay with you and your mother watching Robie, so let's just leave." "I really prefer to do what I say I'm going to do." "Oh, don't get all sanctimonious on me, okay?" "All right." "Just go on." "Get out for a while." "You need to get out." "What does that mean, that I need to get out?" "That I'm short-tempered and I'm a bad mother?" "I didn't say that." "Fine." "I'll get out." "I deserve to get out for just one lousy night." "It's summer." "Bye, John!" "I'll see you later." "I'll be back, okay?" "Yeah." "Mommy's funny." "And a little crazy today." "This is what you wanted to talk to me about?" "This harebrained scheme?" "It's not a harebrained scheme." "It's a vacation." "I need a vacation." "You are not taking my son to Europe on a vacation." "That's not a vacation, traveling with Robie by yourself." "I enjoy Robie." "So do I, so leave him with me and go on a vacation." "No, I want to take him with me." "You'd have to take all that baby crap with you and who wants to do that?" "I want to do that." "You're not doing that." "You can't take him out of the country." "Why are you so hot to get out of the country, anyway?" "Are you running away from something?" "Something that requires leaving the country?" "Yeah." "I committed a crime, George." "(CHUCKLES) And I'm on the lam." "That's how I came up with this harebrained scheme." "Well, don't go on the lam over there in Europe." "They hate us over there." "No, they just don't like loud, obnoxious Americans who have no interest in any other culture." "Like me?" "You know, we're not the only country in the world, George." "That doesn't mean you have to see the other countries with our son." "I just want to go to Paris, or maybe Milan or someplace else." "I don't know." "With a baby?" "Yes, with Robie." "He's the only family member I feel close enough to talk to right now." "I, uh, let Amy take off and I don't have a car." "I was going to hang out with John, but I guess I could call a taxi or something." "I'll take you home." "Maybe I'll even take you home and wait for Amy." "I want to have a word with her." "I'm sure you do, but I think whether Anne told you she's going to Europe over dinner or right here, you'd be just as upset, so..." "So, I would rather have a big fat steak for dinner with the bad news instead of a hotdog, all right?" "(CHUCKLES) All right." "What is wrong with her, anyway?" "With Amy." "I don't know." "Maybe it's just hormonal." "All that stuff about periods." "That's just one big old wives' tale." "Don't believe any of it." "It's no excuse for any craziness." "Okay, well, you mind letting me handle this with Amy?" "I know she's your daughter and I know you're upset with her, but she's going to be my wife." "I hope." "I don't know if I want to be a wife and a mother." "I don't know if I'm ready to be a wife and a mother." "But you're already a mother." "And you're a good mother." "I try, Lauren." "I try." "I love John, and I love Ricky and I want to marry Ricky, but right now I just want to have some fun." "I mean, is it a crime to want to have some fun when it's summer, the last summer we'll ever have in high school?" "I miss Madison." "What?" "Nothing." "I mean, it's the summer before my senior year of high school." "I should be going to the beach with my friends and hanging out at the mall and dating, and just having fun." "(SCOFFS) Like me?" "Yes." "Like you." "And like everyone else." "Are you kidding?" "I'm not having any fun this summer, and I don't know anyone that is having any fun this summer." "Well, except maybe Ben." "Ben?" "Yeah." "Ben's obviously in love." "(CHUCKLES) With that pothead?" "No, he isn't." "Are you sure you're not just having second thoughts about getting engaged?" "No, I'm not having second thoughts about getting engaged." "Just second thoughts about getting married." "And it's not even that, really, because I want to get married someday." "I just don't want to have to get married before I'm ready to get married." "You haven't felt like you had to get married in the past two years." "What makes you feel like you have to get married now?" "Other than you said you would." "Oh, no." "I'm late." "(SIGHS)" "+" "You thought it was just gonna be the two of us?" "BEN:" "I didn't really know." "But I'm happy you both would sit down and talk to me." "I'm really interested in Dylan and I think I can make a good case for our going out, and I'm happy to present my case to both of you, although, yes," "I thought you'd be at work this evening, sir." "That's what Dylan had told me." "I came home from work early." "We like to double-team." "We're a united force." "Do you feel you really need a united force?" "I mean, it's just me." "I'm harmless." "I promise." "You're not entirely harmless unless you've been neutered." "I have not been neutered, but at this point, I might be willing. (CHUCKLES)" "That doesn't really amuse me, Ben." "In fact, it scares me that you're that desperate to go out with my ughter, and you hardly know my daughter." "And we hardly know you or your family." "That was a poor attempt at a joke." "I sincerely apologize." "And that's why I'm here." "So you can get to know me." "And I'm not really desperate." "I'm just..." "I'm smitten." "Really?" "Here's the thing." "Even considering the events of my life over the past couple of years, or maybe especially considering the events of my life over the past couple of years," "I actually think I'm less of a threat to your daughter than other guys she might choose to go out with." "Is this another attempt at a joke?" "No, not at all." "And you arrived at that conclusion..." "I'm just interested." "I've had the opportunity to learn a lot of life lessons, the kind of life lessons that few guys my age have had the misfortune to learn." "Interesting." "Although you've probably learned a lot of life lessons about sex." "And you can't unlearn those lessons." "That's what worries us about you." "Among other things." "I have also learned that sex has real consequences and that high school may be too early to be dealing with those consequences." "And I don't want to be in a sexual relationship again for a long, long time." "And a long time would be four or five years?" "At which time you might be ready to get married?" "Might." "Yes." "I'm curious." "Are your parents divorced?" "My mom actually passed away a long time ago when I was in elementary school." "Oh, we're so sorry to hear that." "Dylan didn't tell us." "And your dad never remarried?" "No." "Um..." "He actually remarried a couple of years ago." "So, where's his wife?" "Why haven't we met your stepmother?" "Uh..." "They're actually going through a divorce." "Not his fault." "Betty is a lovely woman, but my dad waited until years after my mom died to date again, and, well, he may not have chosen the right woman for a lifetime commitment." "Betty came from a rough background." "She left school at an early age and got mixed up with some bad boyfriend, and, well..." "When my dad found her she was kind of..." "She was just kind of in a bad place." "But once they got married and she was in a better place, she just decided she wanted to be on her own again, and go back to college and my dad decided to help make all her dreams come true." "What bad place was she in when he found her?" "I beg your pardon?" "You said she was in a bad place." "Your stepmother." "So, you've been following me around, taking pictures." "Just thought I'd like to have some snapshots of me and my girlfriend?" "Something like that?" "Yeah." "Something like that." "But not that." "Not that." "Betty knew I was in love with Camille when she left me." "She left me." "I didn't leave her." "I'm not worried about whether you left her or she left you." "I'm worried that Betty is not receiving her fair share of" "Boykewich International." "That was determined and agreed to before we got married." "But tell me." "What do you estimate her fair share would be?" "I don't know." "Without looking at the books, I'd have to guess." "Take a guess." "What do you think it should be?" "Say two or three, four million dollars." "How much?" "Why don't we compromise and make it three?" "Three million." "Yeah." "And you get what percentage of that?" "Percentage?" "Well, guys like you generally work on a percentage, right?" "Right." "Fifty?" "That's between me and my lovely client." "Okay, well, I'll tell you what." "I'm going to make a check out for three million dollars." "And I'm going to make the check out to Betty." "And if Betty's the woman I think she is, that I always thought she was, she's not going to cash this check and you're not going to get a dime for all your troubles." "If she cashes the check, she cashes the check." "And I'm not the judge of character that I thought I was and she's nothing but a prostitute after all." "Either way, you don't come anywhere near me again, or Betty." "I'll have the check sent to her by messenger." "And after that, I'll be watching you." "If she cashes the check, you get paid." "If not, you don't get paid and you crawl back into whatever hole you crawled out of." "Pleasure meeting you." "Wish I could say the same." "Good night." "Who was that?" "You don't want to know." "No, I do." "Hey, Nate!" "Take this over to Betty." "I talked to her earlier." "She's waiting for my call." "But I'm not gonna call her." "Just take that to her." "Right away, sir." "Dad?" "All right, all right." "Betty got herself a lawyer." "She's not happy with the settlement?" "No, he's not happy with the settlement." "But I don't want to discuss it." "I'm sure it's going to be fine." "Yeah, sure it is." "You being a smart-ass?" "Dad, don't forget who Betty is." "Who is she?" "Well, for one, she's your ex-wife." "And a perfectly nice woman." "What?" "Nothing, Dad." "You're right." "Betty is a perfectly nice woman." "So, Dylan's parents didn't let her go out?" "No." "They didn't." "You seemed pretty certain you could make your case." "What happened?" "Oh, I don't know." "My case just suddenly fell apart." "Well, you're a good man for trying, but, Ben, sometimes your mistakes have a way of catching up with you." "And when your friends stick by you through your mistakes, you stick by them through their mistakes." "You're not going to use this moment in time as an opportunity to try to get me to call Henry." "Henry is not my friend." "I thought he was, but he's not." "Look." "I don't want to talk about it." "I'll just say good night." "Good night, then." "+" "Where is Mom?" "When's she going to get here?" "She missed her connecting flight and then the flight she was connecting on was late taking off, so I think it's going to be a while." "Okay, well, call me when she gets here." "Wait." "Why don't you wait with me?" "You don't want to hang out with your little family, do you?" "Aren't you bored of them or tired of them, or something?" "I was, but they're going to be gone soon." "Really?" "Really." "I think someone might be getting married." "Ugh!" "Rachel's going to marry Milton?" "Milton's a great guy." "No, he isn't." "How would you know?" "You haven't been out with a great guy since Jack." "See you." "See you." "JACK:" "Hey, free concert tonight at the park." "Be there or be square." "If I don't pick up, I can't hear you over the music." "Hey, I just thought of something." "What if Mom's late because she's bringing our brother with her?" "No, no, no, no, no." "She is not bringing our so-called brother with her." "She's not." "Believe me." "She needs more time to get used to the idea of us having a brother, and so do we." "I don't." "I don't need any time." "Well, I do." "Not going to change anything." "Time." "Time changes everything." "It doesn't change that we have a brother we never knew about." "You know, I actually thought that I killed Dad by having sex and then I find out that every year he's going on these missions and cheating on Mom!" "I mean, it makes me sick!" "Our brother can't help who his father is." "Call me when they get here." "There's no "they." It's just Mom." "(CELL PHONE RINGING)" "Hello?" "Hey." "I thought you were at the park, at the concert." "No, I was just letting you and everyone else think that." "I was trying to sound as if I had an interesting life or something." "What's up?" "You want to have sex?" "I'll be right over." "So much for swearing off boys." "Come on, we gotta get up." "Mmm." "No, we don't." "No, we do." "I told Daniel we'd meet them for a movie." "We'd meet him and that girl?" "Hey, you didn't say slut this time." "I knew it." "You two are gonna end up being friends." "No, we're not." "Okay, you're not." "It doesn't matter." "I told him we'd meet them." "I don't want to meet them." "I didn't tell you we'd meet them." "Yeah, I know." "Let's go." "(WHINING) But I thought we were having a good time." "We were having a good time, but we can't just stay in bed all night." "Yeah, we can." "Adrian, I love having sex with you, but there's got to be more to the relationship than just sex." "Okay, so, how does going to a movie with a few friends resolve that issue for you?" "It's being with friends, enjoying something other than sex together." "Well, we can go out and be with friends and enjoy other things besides sex together, but it's really all about the sex." "(CHUCKLES)" "Okay, well, if you want a relationship to last more than a year or two, you're going to have to get interested in something other than sex." "Hey, I know what." "Maybe we should go down to the park, take your mind off things and maybe then something will happen." "Maybe you are just late." "Maybe you need to get up and move around or something." "You know?" "Get your mind off things, relax." "How can I relax?" "I don't know, Amy." "How can you possibly be pregnant again?" "I'll tell you how, Lauren." "Once we got engaged, Mr. Ricky decides that he'll stop using condoms because, after all, we're engaged, we're getting marrie and I'm on birth control pills anyways." "We've always used condoms, except for that one time at band camp, so I thought it might be nice not to use condoms, so we haven't been using condoms." "Well, that was stupid." "I'm sorry." "We're friends." "We're best friends, so maybe I shouldn't have said that." "But, Amy, you're engaged to Ricky, and he is going to be your husband someday." "And he is the father of your baby, or maybe babies, so maybe you're talking to the wrong person." "Maybe you shouldn't be talking to me." "Maybe you should be talking to him." "No, I do not want to talk to him." "No, Amy, this time you can't wait." "This time you're gonna have to talk to him." "+" "Why do you have to give him a reason for going?" "Can't you just go?" "What, take Rubby out of the state with his promision?" "I don't think so." "Do you have a reason for going?" "(SIGHS) Not a good reason, no." "I just want to go." "But of coue, George thinks I'm running away from something." "Something like..." "Probably something like being gay." "He's going to come home, see us talking and go right back to that." "And you're not gay." "You know, the more times you say you're not gay..." "I'm not gay!" "Oh." "Okay." "All righty." "Uh, well, I'll just be getting Ricky and John and going home." "Where are they?" "Your dad took them home hours ago." "I think he's still over there at your apartment." "Yeah, hours ago." "Because, you know, we didn't end up going out." "We got in a big fight and I came back here, too." "To apologize." "But your father's not here." "He's with Ricky." "Yeah." "Um, I'm sorry about before." "I'm just having a bad day." "So everyone else is supposed to have a bad day, too?" "Um, no." "And I don't want to make it any worse, so I'm just going to go now." "And I'm really sorry about before." "Really, I should have just stayed and helped out." "Sorry." "Good night." "Is something wrong?" "Something we want to know about?" "I want to know." "You don't want to know." "Nothing's wrong." "Good night." "Why don't I want to know?" "Do you know something?" "Why do you know everything and I don't know anything?" "(CHUCKLES) That's funny." "George said you're like that, always thinking you're out of the loop," "but I don't know anything, really." "Ricky thinks Amy's either feeling confined or it's something hormonal." "And why don't I know that?" "I don't know, Anne." "I talk to my son." "He likes talking to me." "Everyone likes talking to me." "Even you." "Could be some sort of mid-life crisis, you know, reevaluating who you are and what you really want out of life." "What could?" "Thinking you might be gay." "I think that I'm a little bit young to be having a mid-life crisis." "And I am not thinking I'm gay." "Okay." "Sorry, but you are definitely looking at me." "And so in protecting myself when I didn't have anyone to protect me," "I think I came to be slightly confrontational, and that might be a good quality for a lawyer." "I mean, I like to argue and I'm a pretty good liar and I have no problem making a case for what I believe in..." "I'm still talking." "Keep talking." "I love hearing you talk about yourself." "(SCOFFS)" "Well, that's a line if I've ever heard one." "(CHUCKLES)" "All right, Counselor, if what you want is the truth and nothing but the truth, it just turned me on that you really can have a conversation about something other than sex." "I like hearing you talk and I like knowing that you're serious about school and about studying." "It just makes you all the sexier." "Really?" "Really, Adrian." "Okay." "So, anyway, when I met my father and I realized he was a prosecutor, I couldn't believe it." "I mean, maybe it's genetic, maybe it's just in my blood." "Could be." "It's something that you were interested in before you found out who he is." "So you're talking, too?" "'Cause I already find you sexy." "Go ahead." "I haven't talked to a guy like this since..." "Never mind." "Where was I?" "Hey." "What took you so long?" "I had to stop by the drugstore." "You didn't have to stop by the drugstore." "I have protection." "I prefer to use my own brand and not someone else's." "Are you sure about this?" "No." "I'm sorry!" "I wasn't even really sure when I called you." "The only thing I'm sure of now is that we shouldn't do it." "We really shouldn't do it." "What?" "I know, I was..." "I was angry." "I started thinking about it, and I realized that" "I was angry the first time we did it." "I was angry at my dad then and I'm just angry at my dad now and I think that's the reason why I wanted to have sex with you again, and the more I thought about it," "it's just not a good reason at all." "Yeah, I thought you might be angry with your dad." "We weren't supposed to say anything." "Your mom really shouldn't have told Tom." "Yeah, tell me about it." "I'm sure you must be really upset." "Maybe we should go upstairs and talk about it." "You're probably exhausted and it's getting late." "That's completely and totally lame." "I know." "I know." "I'm sorry." "I should have just called you back." "No, it's all right." "I can handle disappointment." "I can." "If I have to." "You have to." "All right." "Do you want me to wait here with you?" "I would love it if you wait here with me." "So, is your brother coming back with your mom?" "She said he wasn't." "Then I'm sure he's not." "I'm not sure." "I'm not sure about anything." "That's good." "Confusion is good." "Sometimes." "When?" "When a guy is trying to get a girl into bed." "Friends?" "We keep saying we'll be friends, but I don't know if that's possible." "Maybe." "Maybe." "Someday." "Yeah, Grace." "Someday." "But I'd still always want to have sex with you." "WENDY:" "Knock knock." "Hi." "I hope you don't mind if we drop by," "King Boykewich." "Feel free to call me Mister." "Mr. Boykewich, we came over because Dylan can't come over and she really wanted us to talk to you and we didn't have a number for you but, of course, we already know where you live." "Yes, you do." "What'd she want you to talk to me about?" "I said Ben could go out with her." "Her parents won't let her go out with Ben." "You were, uh, married to a hooker?" "I beg your pardon?" "Apparently, that's where the talks fell apart tonight with..." "Pudding Pop." "He couldn't believe you were married to a hooker." "They couldn't." "But mostly him." "Pudding Pop?" "We sometimes have nicknames for people we love." "Like you, King!" "I am the King." "Oh, I knew we could make you say it." "Sorry, but..." "Well," "I think everyone knows that as scary as you are, you're really nice." "Just like Dylan's dad." "And that's why she's so sure that you and her parents can work something out." "Look, I don't know where Mr. Pudding Pop heard that I was married to someone who was like that, but it's really none of his business." "Um, Ben made it their business." "He told them." "They're very good at interrogation." "That's probably why Dylan is so good at lying." "That's good to know." "He has a personal security company, you know." "I'm aware." "Well, thanks for stopping by." "Ben's friends are welcome here any time." "Just about any time." "Just not right now." "Thank you for seeing us." "Yeah, thank you." "We really appreciate it." "Before we go, I'd just like to say that we think Ben is really nice and Dylan is crazy over him and she's our really best friend and we would do anything for her, including stupid stuff like this." "And stupid stuff like smoking pot." "BOTH:" "Good night." "(SIGHS)" "Is Dylan here?" "Did she just leave?" "Is she here?" "Whose car is that?" "She's not here." "Her friends were here." "You told her parents I was married to a prostitute?" "I said Betty was forced into a life of Internet prostitution, but is a very nice woman, a woman who wants to go back and reclaim those years that she lost when she would have gone to college by going to college." "Look, people just don't understand, Dad." "We know Betty, but they don't know Betty and we may not care about who she is or what she's done but it just doesn't sound that good." "So, look, I'm sorry." "I meant no disrespect to Betty." "And you know what," "I'm sure Dylan's dad isn't exactly perfect himself." "He's..." "He's a..." "He's a Pudding Pop." "And you know what, if we're not good enough for them, son, then they're not good enough for us." "You and I are decent people." "And you know what?" "So is Betty." "Or at least I hope she is." "I really hope she is." "Did you say Pudding Pop?" "(DOOR OPENING)" "Mmm." "Sorry I'm late." "Yeah, about time you got home, young lady." "What time is it, anyway?" "Sorry, Dad, for causing problems at home tonight with you and Mom." "And I would like to offer to babysit at any other time that you need me." "I guess you two can deal with whatever it is that we're dealing with here." "You could be right." "Night, Amy." "Mom's at home." "She's waiting for you." "She is?" "Yeah." "Why the hell didn't she call me?" "I don't know." "She's just hanging out with Nora." "Aren't you going to say, "She's not gay"?" "Night." "I'm glad you're home." "Are you okay?" "Yeah." "I guess you could say that." "What were you right about?" "No, if I say it, you're just going to get upset with me again." "I know I've been a little moody tonight." "(SIGHS)" "I'm just really tirednd..." "I've got school tomorrow." "And you're crying about that?" "About school?" "Geez, Amy, if summer school is so upsetting to you, then just drop out." "What is it?" "You just don't want to admit that you were ong and it wasn't the best idea?" "No, no, that's not it." "I just need to get some sleep." "All right." "Then get some sleep." "I'm going to go see John and get ready for bed." "Okay." "(SIGHS)" "Amy!" "You're not..." "I'm late." "+" "Where the hell have you been?" "You can't talk to me like that." "You're not my wife." "But maybe you could be my wife's wife." "Shut up." "I don't want to be anyone's wife." "Especially your wife's wife." "She's in my room." "Ashley's in her room." "You're in your room and I'm here." "Good night." "Come on!" "How was your evening?" "Fine." "My evening was fine." "And how was your evening?" "Boring as hell." "Anything happen?" "Anything like what, George?" "I know what I saw." "Oh, you poor man." "You saw nothing." "You know nothing." "So why's Anne running away?" "Because she just wants to go on a vacation." "With a baby." "With your baby." "Okay, you need to get some sleep." "And you should encourage Anne to take a little break, go on a vacation wherever she wants to go." "She's a nice woman." "She's a tired woman." "She deserves a break." "So, you like her." "Get out." "Oh!" "No." "No." "No, no, no." "Forget what I said." "Say nothing to him." "Go back to bed." "You think?" "I know." "Good night." "And if I don't see you before you leave, have a great trip." "Thanks, Nora." "Any time." "(CHUCKLING)" "Hi, Leo!" "Hi, Betty.It's kind o." "Oh, yeah, I'm sorry." "Do you have company?" "I do not have company, no." "But tomorrow is a workday." "I just wanted to come by and thank you in person for the check." "Oh." "Oh, Leo." "You've made me so happy, you know, to just do that." "You know, write a check like that, you know, after all that you've done for me." "I mean, you completely turned my life around and I just want you to know that I'm spending the summer getting my place settled and I'm all registered for the new fall semester" "and I'm going to take a little vacation down to Daytona Beach with my sisters." "And I just have such a wonderful life because of you." "Uh-huh." "And?" "Besides all the material stuff that you've given me, you've also given me a reason to feel really good about myself." "How's that?" "Oh, Leo, come on." "You know I was just testing you, right?" "You know, I just really wanted to see if you thought as much of me as you claim to." "What?" "I want you to take your check back." "You want to know why?" "Why?" "Because you didn't sign it." "And you knew that I would catch that." "It's because I'm so smart. (CHUCKLING)" "I'm just kidding." "That's funny." "You always did have a great sense of humor." "I always thought you're a very nice lady." "Aw." "Thank you, Leo." "Good night." "Maybe I'll see you around campus." "Hope so." "(TELEPHONE RINGING)" "No caller ID, huh?" "This better not be you, Ben Boykewich, calling at this time of night." "It's not Ben." "It's me, Leo Boykewich." "And I got news for you, Mr. Pudding Pop." "My ex-wife is not a prostitute." "Dad, was that Ben?" "Dad, you didn't hang up on him, did you?" "How does Mr. Boykewich know that your little friends call me Pudding Pop?" "I don't know." "I guess Ben told them." "Are you sure your friends didn't tell him?" "Well, I can't be completely sure, no." "You can't go out with this guy, Dylan, you can't!" "He got a girl pregnant." "He's getting a divorce." "His dad was married to a woman who used to be a prostitute." "Well, it sounds bad when you put it like that." "But Ben is..." "The kind of guy who likes people and thinks people are nice and that life is good." "And he's kind and considerate." "And he's cute and he's funny." "And he tries to do the right thing." "He really does." "And so does his dad." "Mr. Boykewich is a nice man." "Can't you see that?" "Can't you look past the facts for once and see that?" "Pudding Pop?" "I got it." "Where did you go?" "You could have gotten that at the gas station, silly." "Silly?" "Like I would go somewhere in the neighborhood where people might see me and rumors would start flying and it would be all over school by noon tomorrow?" "Thank you for caring so much about me." "And us." "Oh, I don't need it." "What?" "Everything's fine." "You... (SIGHS) Yeah." "I guess I was just a little late." "And I was probably just a little anxious since you made that idiotic suggestion that we could do without the condoms." "Shouldn't we be able to do without the condoms?" "What if my birth control fails for some reason?" "Yeah, what if." "You're right." "We should take every precaution we can take." "Because I do not want any more children before we get married and we're ready for more children." "Can I get you some ice cream?" "(LAUGHS) Is that your way of saying you don't want any more children?" "I don't know." "One is fine with me." "Me, too." "Love you." "I love you, too." "Nice to meet you, Grace." "I'll be at Adrian's."