"Will you stop your daydreaming, Tommy Stubbins?" " Hello, Matt." " Come and help me select a suitable dinner..." " for me clients here." " Can I push the barrow?" "Well, it's not gonna push itself now, is it?" "It's against my religion to do anything violent till the end of the day." "God bless all Irishmen." "You know what I was thinking, Matt?" " No, what was that?" "Not for you, me darling." "It'll make your fur fall out." "I was thinking that if you sold your fish barrow, and I sold my grandfather's watch, we could buy a boat and go to China." "Oh." "Oh, you're the middle and two ends of a fine fellow, Tom." "It's a beautiful proposition, but don't you see the problem?" " What's that?" " Well, do you speak Chinese?" " No." " Then, if you sell your grandfather's watch, and we go to China, how are you goin' to tell the time?" " I never thought of that." " Ah, well, you see, you have to plan ahead." "It's very important." "I mean, the whole secret of my success with the fish barrow... was years of planning ahead." "Thank you, Charlie." "May the 17 holy men of Donnybrook reward you in heaven." "I'd sooner you rewarded me down here." " Who's this then?" " Wild duck off the marshes." " Is that a fact?" " Flew straight into the mast, cross-eyed fool." "Can you imagine that now?" "He was probably under the influence." "He looks Irish to me." "Don't worry." "I'll fix him up." "Bring him back." "That's my dinner." "Now don't ask me to do that, Charlie." "As Secretary for the Preservation of Irish Ducks, it's more than me job is worth." "You never told me you were secretary of Irish ducks." "Oh, well, now I don't talk about it much." " I'm a very modest fella." " What are we going to do with it then?" "Well, now, as soon as I finish me deliveries, we'll take him over to John Dolittle." " Here." " Who's John Dolittle?" "Eat hearty, me lovelies." " And heaven bless all Catholic pussycats." " Who is John Dolittle?" "John Dolittle is the greatest animal doctor in the world today... and a close personal friend of Matthew Mugg." "He lives right here in Puddleby, he does." " Out on the Oxenthorpe Road." " What does he do?" "He's a genius." "That's what he does." "He can talk to animals." " Talk to them?" " Speaks their language, he does." "Just like you and me's chatting now." "He'll have a word with that little fellow in wild duck talk... and put him straight in no time." "Oh, the darling' man." "He'd think nothin' of traveling' halfway round the world to cure a sick sparrow." "Only last week, he went all the way to Africa." "Ask me why." " Why?" " Why?" "I'll tell you." "To look after a crocodile with toothache." "He's altogether a marvelous man." "And he understands the Irish." "And any man who understands the Irish" "Can't be reckoned altogether bad" "The same way that the lunatic" "Whose patron saint is Patrick" "Can't be reckoned altogether mad" "The doctor's very smart" "He's an Irishman at heart" "His favorite color Sure it must be green" "And also he's a man" "Who'll blarney when he can" "Let me explain the sort of thing I mean" "My friend the doctor says the moon is made of apple pie" "And once a month it's eaten by the sun" "And that is why up in the sky" "You'll find as every month goes by" "Somebody in the sky is making another one" "My friend the doctor says the sun is made of cheddar cheese" "The doctor even knows the reason why" "The facts are these Try if you please" "Pretending you're a lonely cheese" "Wouldn't you want to try finding an apple pie" "Of course you would." "Maybe what the doctor tells me" "Isn't altogether true" "But I love every tale he tells me" "I don't know any better ones Do you?" "My friend the doctor says the world is full of fantasy" "And who are you and I to disagree" "Let's hope and pray that is the way" "The life we love will always stay" "For my friend the doctor" "And me" "La, la, la, la" "Here, Tom, catch!" "My friend the doctor says the stars are made of lemon drops" "The bigger ones are lollipops and ice Come on!" "The clouds have shops up on the top" "That sells you sweets and soda pop" "What do they call the place" " Isn't it paradise" "My friend the doctor says that every time it starts to rain" "And people run indoors again in swarms" "If you remain out in the rain" "You'll think you're drinking pink champagne" "And you'll spend your life praying for thunderstorms" "Maybe what the doctor tells me" "Isn't altogether true" "But I love every tale he tells me" "I don't know any better ones Do you?" "My friend the doctor says the world is full of fantasy" "And who are you and I to disagree" "Let's hope and pray that is the way" "The life we love will always stay for my friend the doctor" "My friend the doctor and me" "What was that?" " Ah, now, that's just some of his pets." " Pets?" "Polynesia, me lovely little darling." "Give us a kiss then." "Here." "And, Chee-Chee, how are you, me old rascal?" "I'd like you to meet one of me dearest friends." "Master Thomas Stubbins." "Tom, this is Miss Polynesia." "How do you do, Master Stubbins?" "How do you do, Miss Polynesia?" "You wanna watch out for her, Tom." "She's 199 years old." "She can remember every single word that's been spoken to her... since the execution of Charles I in 1648." " Isn't that right, Polynesia?" " No, Matthew, 'twas 1649." "'Twas a Tuesday." "Oh, yeah, right." "You see what I mean?" "And this is Chee-Chee." " How do you do, Chee-Chee?" " Where's the good doctor?" " He's working in the library." "Show them in, Chee-Chee." "I know he's in there." "Good heavens, Matthew." "Oh, I'm terrible sorry." "I must have frightened them out of their lives." "Matthew, you're soaking wet." "You're a little on the damp side yourself, sir." "Oh, it's these fish languages." "They really only work underwater." "It's fascinating." "The basic system is mouth movements and bubble signals." "At the moment, I can only make big bubbles, and they keep telling me I'm shouting." "Beggin' me ignorance, sir, but what can you hope to get out of a conversation with a goldfish?" "Matthew, I'll show you." "The legendary great pink sea snail." "For hundreds of years, sailors have claimed that they've seen it." "Oh, poor devils." "It's that rotten stock they drink." "But, uh, what has this got to do with goldfish?" "I don't believe it's legendary." "I believe it actually exists." "What's that got to do with goldfish?" "Well, I'm planning a voyage to find it." "That is, if I can get enough money together." "Oh, may the saints reward you, sir." "But, uh, what's that got to do with the..." "Well, if I find it, Matthew, I'm going to want to talk to it." "Therefore, I have to acquire a knowledge of ancient shellfish, which is extremely complicated." "So, I'm starting with basic fish languages, like halibut, mackerel and goldfish." "Ah, there, you see?" "I knew it had something to do with goldfish." "Now, about your last voyage, Doctor." "Did, uh, did you find the crocodile with a toothache?" "Crocodile?" "Oh, yes, in the Congo, yes." "I got back on Saturday." " Look." " Isn't that a beauty now?" "Make a marvelous bottle opener." "Look at that, Tom." "Oh, forgive me, Doctor." " This is me ol' pal, Tommy Stubbins." " How do you do, sir?" " He's brought a patient for you." " It's a duck, sir." " It's a drake." "You're sopping wet too." " Yes, sir, it's raining." "He's hurt his wing, sir." " Yes, so he's been telling me." "Oh, quack, quack." "Oh, poor chap, yes." "Sorry." "Quack, quack." "He had a row with his wife and wasn't looking where he was going." "He told you all that?" "They're very neurotic creatures." "You'll be all right by the morning." "Yes, I'll get word to your wife." "Quack, quack, quack." "Now, while our friend's convalescing," "I'll try and find you something dry to wear." "Then, we all can have some food together." " Polynesia, two more for dinner." " Yes, Doctor." "Oh, and, Matthew, hold on to that crocodile's tooth." "Must be a bottle somewhere you can open with it." "Gub-Gub." "Will you please stop making that infernal noise?" "A few pork sausages and a bit of bacon." "The way you're carrying on, you'd think we were cooking your entire family." "Chee-Chee, make him behave." "But you can hardly blame him for being a bit upset, Doctor." "I'd be upset meself if you started frying Irishmen." "You know the problem as well as I do, Matthew." "I've nearly 600 mouths to feed, including the mice." " Six hundred!" " Yes." "So if the butcher... gives me a string of sausages now and then, I take it, whether it upsets Gub-Gub or not." "Anyway, he eats more than any of us." "Sure you won't be having anything?" " Quite sure." "Thank you, Matthew." " Aren't you hungry, Doctor?" "Yes, but I follow a very special diet, Stubbins." " It's highly nutritious and very good." " Oh, I see." "The doctor's in rather an awkward position, you see, Tom." " Aren't you, Doctor?" " What do you mean, Matt?" "You understand, Stubbins, he means meat." "It upsets the animals if I, uh..." " Oh, of course." " So I don't." "As a matter of principle, one should always try to avoid eating one's friends." "The day that I became a veterinarian" "I had a sudden overwhelming wish" "To be a pure and simple vegetarian" "And give up eating all that meat and fish" " I think that's marvelous." " Meat is very unhealthy for you." "So now I live on healthy food instead" "Like apple cores and parsnip juice" "And chunks of plain brown bread" "All right, all right." "I'm coming." "When I see my fellowman consuming sirloin steak" "And I find myself enjoying tea and Dundee cake" "There is really only one conclusion I can make" "I'm a devoted vegetarian" "No, no, no, no, you've had yours." "When my host at dinner offers succulent roast beef" "Proudly I refuse it People stare in disbelief" "Lost in admiration as I nibble on a leaf" "A very noted vegetarian" "I wouldn't even eat horseradish, in case I upset the horses." "I stay away from deviled ham on principle" "I wouldn't eat roast duckling if I could" "Willpower has made me invincible" "My word Those sausages look good" "Where's my dinner gone?" "They've done it again." "Come on." "Own up." "Who's got it this time?" "Who's got my dinner?" "It's bad enough to have to eat this muck in the first place." "Just 'cause I eat this instead of eating them, they think they can take advantage of me." "You've no idea what I put up with on their account." "I eat every flowering shrub there is except for gorse" "Sometimes I get luxuries like beetroot leaves, of course" "My life's much the same as that of any English horse" "Why should I be a vegetarian" "Turnip pie and peanuts That's the sort of filth I eat" "Any sort of rubbish that is wholesome and discreet" "Why don't I admit that my hypocrisy's complete" "If I should live to be a centenarian" "Become our most adored humanitarian" "I'll never make a decent vegetarian" "I'm a cheat, I love meat" "I'm a cheat, yes, I am" "I love red-blooded juicy chunks of meat" "Legs of lamb, sides of beef" "And chops and steaks and veal and pork, of course" " My favorite meal" "And then I hear poor Gub-Gub squeal" "Oh, me, oh, my" "A reluctant but sincere" "Vegetarian" "Am I" "So, you see, Stubbins, being an animal doctor has its problems." "For one thing, you don't get paid anything, at least not in money." "You get bones or nuts or worms... or whatever the particular animal's currency happens to be." "And secondly, most of the animals who come here as patients like it so much, they stay here permanently." "It's hardly what you'd call a profit-making enterprise." "But who looks after the animals?" "They look after themselves, for the most part." "Animals are much better at that than human beings." "And how did you become a veteran?" "No, Stubbins, the word is "veterinarian."" "But say "animal doctor." It's less pretentious." "It all happened rather suddenly, actually." "My entire life changed in one day, didn't it, Matthew?" "It was my sister, Sarah, who started it all." "Sarah." "Oh!" "Did you know that an ant has more intelligence than a hippopotamus?" "And that a grasshopper..." "in relation to his size... has more power in his hind legs than a kangaroo?" "Absolutely fascinating." "There's no doubt about it." "Animals are much more interesting than people." "Good heavens, Sarah." "What on Earth are you doing down there?" "There are pigeons in the linen cupboard." " Oh, yes, I thought it would be warmer for them." " You knew?" "Yes, I put them there." "It gets so terribly chilly on the roof at night." "And two tortoises in the guest room." "That's where they are." "I wondered where they got to." " And white mice in your chest of drawers." " That's right." "And the grass snakes are in the roll top desk under the envelopes." "Grass snakes?" "John Dolittle, if those animals aren't out of this house by tonight..." "Oh, dear!" "Nine o'clock precisely." "That will be Lady Petherington." "I wonder what she's found wrong with herself today." "All right, Sarah." "Show her in, please." "I mean it, John." "I shall leave." "Those animals, they're destroying your practice." "You won't have a decent patient left soon." "Not unless you answer the door." "I don't understand the things that go on around this house with those animals." "And we'll probably never see the vicar's wife again... after giving her that glass of milk with a frog in it." "I really don't know what you expect me to do." "Oh, good morning, Lady Petherington." "Are we feeling better today?" "We're no better for being left to freeze to death on Doctor's front doorsteps." "Oh." "Dr. Dolittle, oh, it's my nerves." "You must do something for them instantly." "Oh, you'll never guess what happened." "It's quite the worst experience of my life." "Uh, won't you come in, Lady Petherington?" "I was giving this dinner party last night... up at the Grange for the Duke of St. Albans." "Fifty guests." "The most embarrassing moment of my entire life." "A mouse ran across the table." "Oh, I thought I'd die." "I may still." "Can you imagine?" "A mouse." "Do you know who was there, hmm?" "Well, of course, everybody." "The humiliation." "Crown Prince Angelicus of Brandenberg." "He's so well-bred, he doesn't even know what a mouse is." "Fainted dead away." "I haven't slept all night." "Of course, I discharged my entire staff, especially the gardeners." "I'll be struck from the social directory." "A mouse." "Hmph." " Vicar, what a surprise!" " Bless me." "How is your frog?" "I mean, your wife." "Oh, the less said about her the better." "I mean, that incident." "Most unfor... for... for... fortunate." "Bless me." "Miss Dolittle, it's my hay fever." "The Bishop of Glastonbury is attending my sermon this evening," " and it's most important, you understand." " Of course." " But my hay... hay..." "Oh!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "But..." "But..." "Oh!" " Oh!" " Sir Rupert, I'm so sorry!" "Where in the heavens does that woman think she's going?" " Get out of my way, Vicar!" "Oh!" "Ow!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Ow!" "Oh, let me out of this madhouse!" " Oh!" "Oh!" " Sir Rupert, I'm so sorry!" "Ow!" "John!" "Yes, Sarah?" "I shall give you just five minutes to make up your mind." "Either you get rid of every hideous bird, beast and reptile... in this ridiculous menagerie immediately," " or I am leaving... today!" " But..." " Five minutes." " Sarah, I can't just..." "Oh, yes, you can just." "I don't think five minutes is very long." "Anybody home?" "Oh, come in, Matthew." "Well, l-I didn't know you was having a party." "What are we celebrating?" "You know, Matthew, today I made a great discovery." "Oh?" "What was that then?" "I'm a terrible doctor." "I'm probably the worst doctor in the world." "Good for you." "I like a man who knows his worth." "I have absolutely no interest in the health and welfare of my patients." "I can't begin to communicate with them." "I don't even want to communicate with them." "I've come to the conclusion that, with the possible exception of yourself," "I have nothing in common with the human race." "You know, the trouble with you, John Dolittle, is you prefer animals to people." "But animals are so much more fun than people." "Then be an animal doctor." " What was that?" " I said, "Be an animal doctor."" "Animal doctor?" "You know more about animals than anybody I've ever met." "I could get every sick animal within miles to come to you." "Aye, so could I." "At least all the dogs and cats." "All the rich ones, that is." "The Pekes and the poodles." "I could slip a little something into their meat." "Shh, Matthew." "What do you mean?" "I mean, there isn't one good animal doctor in the west of England." "Farmer Green's cow was saying only the other day... she just will not have another calf until she gets a decent doctor." "You mean, you spoke to her?" "At the Animals' Welfare League." "We meet every Wednesday." "She's chair-cow." "You mean, animals actually talk to one another?" "Well, of course, we can." "Do you think we're all dumb?" "L..." "No, no." "I knew parrots could talk." "Parrots are the finest linguists in the animal kingdom." "I speak over 2,000 languages, including dodo and unicorn." " Unicorn?" " I have a classical education." "Polynesia, could I learn to talk to animals?" "I don't see why not." "You're quite intelligent." "Oh, thank you." "If I succeeded, I could become... the greatest animal doctor in the world." "Oh, no question." "Mind you, it isn't easy." "I'm the only parrot in the world... who actually understands what she's talking about." "Well, if you can do it, I don't see why I shouldn't." "I like your attitude." "Why have I never thought of this before?" "Polynesia, I want you to teach me everything you know." "What, 2,000 languages?" "Certainly." "We'll start at 8:00 tomorrow morning." "But it took me over a hundred years." "Then we'll start at 7:00." "There's not a moment to lose." "Matthew, think what it would mean..." "If I could talk to the animals" "Just imagine it Chatting to a chimp in chimpanzee" "Imagine talking to a tiger Chatting to a cheetah" "What a neat achievement that would be" "If we could talk to the animals" "Learn their languages" "Maybe take an animal degree" "I'd study elephant and eagle buffalo and beagle" "Alligator, guinea pig and flea" "I would converse in polar bear and python" "And I would curse in fluent kangaroo" "If people asked me Can you speak rhinoceros" "I'd say, of course-eros Can't you" "If I conferred with our furry friends" "Man-to-animal Think of the amazing repartee" "If I could walk with the animals" "Talk with the animals" "Grunt and squeak and squawk with the animals" "And they could talk to me" "If I consulted with quadrupeds" "Think what fun we'd have" "Asking over crocodiles for tea" "Or maybe lunch with two or three lions" "Walruses or sea lions" "What a lovely place the world would be" "If I spoke slang to orangutans" "The advantages any fool on Earth could plainly see" "Discussing Eastern art and dramas" "With intellectual llamas" "That's a big step forward You'll agree" "I'd learn to speak in antelope and turtle" "My Pekingese would be extremely good" "If I were asked to sing in hippopotamus" "I'd say, why not-amus and would" "If I could parley with pachyderms" "It's a fairy tale worthy of Hans Andersen or Grimm" "A man who walks with the animals" "Talks with the animals" "Grunts and squeaks and squawks with the animals" "This is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me, Polynesia." "I can't wait to start." "Just the very thing." "For instance, Polynesia, how would I say..." ""good morning" to our friend there?" "In pig talk, I mean." "That's simple." " Was that it?" " Why, yes." "It's remarkable." "What was all the leg-shaking business?" "That's part of "good morning."" "Most animal languages are a mixture of sounds and movements." "A short snort means "good."" "Shaking the leg means "morning."" "And you..." "And you just put the two together?" "That's right." "Didn't answer me." "No, that's your right leg." "That means "good night."" "Oh." "She answered." "Did you see that?" "She answered." "All I went was..." "Did it again." "Good heavens." "I speak pig." "Where are we going?" "I want to say good morning to every animal in Puddleby." "It's incredible." "It's impossible." "But it's true." "A man can talk to the animals" "It's a miracle In a year from now I guarantee" "I'll be the marvel of the mammals" "Playing chess with camels" "No more just a boring old M.D." "I'll study every living creature's language" "So I can speak to all of them on sight" "If friends say Can he talk in crab or pelican" "You'll say, like helican and you'll be right" "And if you just stop to think a bit" "There's no doubt of it I shall win a place in history" "For I can walk with the animals" "Talk with the animals" "Grunt and squeak and squawk with the animals" "And they can squeak and squawk" "And speak and talk" "To me" "Needless to say, Stubbins, I've neither seen nor spoken... to dear sister, Sarah, from that day to this." "But I do have the consolation of being able to speak 498 animal languages." "Any one of which is more fun than talking to Sarah." "Four hundred and ninety-eight?" "With goldfish, it will be 499." "When you get to 500, Doctor, we ought to have a party." "We must." "You'll need more than languages before we can search for the great pink sea snail." "Voyages cost money, you know." "Mm, quite." "Now, gentlemen, if you'll forgive me, animals are earlier risers than human beings, and I've got to be up at 5:30 to open the clinic." "Good heavens." "You can't go home in that." "Matthew, you can make up a bed here, if you don't mind Gub-Gub snoring." "Stubbins can sleep on the sofa in the library." "Polynesia will go over to your house and tell your parents you're all right." "Good night." " Good night." " Good night." "He's a genius." "Uh-hum." "I think you're next." "What did you tell her?" "To take two of these pills three times a day after meals." "Polynesia, remember that lady owes us a gallon of milk." " All right, Doctor." " Now, what next?" "This mouse." "He has a bent tail." "Oh, it's you again." "Well, that's the third time this week." "What's that machine?" "It's a whisker and tail straightener." "My own invention." "These field mice are always getting caught in General Bellowes' pantry... up at the Grange." "Being a military man, he has a regular defense system of mousetraps, and they're all having very narrow escapes, like this one." "There we are." "That should do it." "Good as new." "There." "But, uh, keep away from General Bellowes' pantry." "Next." "Good morning, Sheila." "On the desk, please, Stubbins." "Yes, sir." " Oh, I see." " What's the matter?" "Apparently one of her children have got flat feet." "This one?" "Yes." "Very dangerous in hunting season." "Can't run fast enough." "I'll work out some form of exercise." "Bum-bum." "Bum-bum." "Bum-bum." "Something like that." "Anyhow, we'd better see our other patients first." "I can get on with this later." "Good boy, Jip." "Uh-oh." "Ah, Toggle." "Oh, yes, of course." "Toggle's getting a bit shortsighted in his old age." "There now." "We'll just, uh, test these." "Now, I'm sure this will be better than the last time." "Good Lord." "That's excellent." "Polynesia, remember Toggle owes me a free ride... next time I have to go to Plymouth or Penzance." "Yes, Doctor." "What the devil!" "Emma, I'll murder him if I lay my hands on him!" " That's Bellowes' voice." " Damn it!" "What's the matter?" "Out of my way!" "Out of my way!" "Get out of my way!" "Get out of my way!" "There he is." "We've caught him red-handed." " Emma, you're a witness." " A witness to what?" "The most flagrant display of organized animal stealing... in the history of Puddleby crime." "Organized?" "I beg..." "I am a doctor, sir." "You are a horse thief, sir." "That is my plow horse." "It's no good your trying to disguise him." "He's wearing glasses because he's shortsighted." "I'd recognize him anywhere." "Take them off." "At once, sir." "Shortsighted." "That won't sound very convincing in front of the magistrate." " Magistrate?" " I'm prosecuting, and I don't fancy your chances in court." "I'm the magistrate, and if I weren't late for my foxhunt," "I'd report you for cruelty to animals." "Don't you dare lay a finger on her." " She's one of my patients." " One of your what?" "She's been chased by your wretched foxhounds three times in two weeks." "You've already murdered her husband." "If anything happened to her, these babies are going to be orphans." "It's all right, Sheila." "I won't let him hurt you." "I've never heard..." "Sheila?" "Just the sight of you is enough to give her a heart attack." "Look at her." "She's a complete nervous wreck." "She'll be more than that by the time I'm finished with her!" " You'll never catch her." " Tallyho!" "There are times when the English are rather tiresome." "Bellowes, no!" "Out of my way!" " Out of my way!" "Out of my way!" " Oh, well." ""Never catch her," eh?" "What do you think this is?" "My horse!" " Where did they come from?" " North America." "We formed an Anglo-American Fox Protection Society." "Purely volunteer, of course." "Fox Protection Society?" "Yes." "During the hunting season, a skunk will always run with a fox." "The idea is to put the hounds off the scent." "I never dreamt it would work so well." " How dare you!" " I beg your pardon?" " General Bellowes..." " He certainly does." " Is my uncle." " I'm sorry." " Is that an apology?" " I'm sorry he's your uncle." "And I'm sorry I'm his niece." " It must be terrible." " What do you mean?" "Having a name like Bellowes." " My name is Emma Fairfax." " Oh, that's a bit better." "What I meant was that if I were his nephew instead of his niece..." "If you were his nephew, you'd hardly be called Emma Fairfax." " If I were a man..." " Fred Fairfax?" "I have never in my entire experience... known anyone treat people as appallingly as you do." "I don't treat people, madam." "I treat animals." "You treat people like animals too." "And I have nothing but contempt for people whose idea of pleasure... is to take a defenseless animal and make a social event out of a ritual killing." " That's it, John Dolittle." "You tell her." " Matthew, I am telling her." " You make it sound..." " Furthermore..." " Don't keep interrupting me!" " I'm sorry." "What did you wish to say?" "Oh, I've forgotten!" "Very well." "Furthermore, I would deem it a favor if in the future... you and your bloodthirsty relatives... would avoid coming here and upsetting the animals." "In any case, I find it hard to believe that a grown man... can waste his entire life playing with animals in the first place." "And I, madam, find it equally hard to believe... that a grown woman could spend her entire life doing absolutely nothing." "You got to admit that for someone called Fred, she's a fair-looking fellow." "If I were a man" "I'd scratch his eyes out" "I'd tear his hair out by the roots" "And kick his shins in with my boots" "And I would bite his hand as only I can" "If only I could be a man" "A great man would not hesitate" "To put Dr. Dolittle to death" "Attila the Hun To name only one" "Would chuckle at his dying breath" "It seems a man can be as rude as he likes" "Crude as he likes Lewd as he likes too" "But a girl must be discreet as she can" "Sweet as she can Neat as she can too" "But that's not the life" "That I want to lead" "Normal and formal as homespun tweed" "I need the freedom to go" "Where I please" "But where" "Do I please" "I don't know" "That's the trouble" "I don't know" "Here I stand at the crossroads of life" "Childhood behind me" "The future to come" "And alone" "Nothing planned at the crossroads of life" "But life will find me" "More grateful than some" "It has known" "Grateful to see" "All the wonderful things I see" "Grateful to be" "What life expects me to be" "So I stand at the crossroads of life" "This way or that way" "Well, which shall I go" "Towards the left or the right" "Towards the day or the night" "Towards the dark or the light" "Only my heart can know" "Only my heart" "Can know" " What is it?" " Ha." "I don't know, Doctor." "It just arrived for ya." " It's making funny noises." " Extraordinary-looking thing." " It's from Tibet." "It's probably that pink sea snail you was lookin' for." "No, it's not big enough for that." "What do you suppose it is?" "Well, we could always open it and find out." "Oh, yes." "What a good idea." "Ah." "Oh, look, it's a llama." "Come on, boy." "Come on, boy." "I think he's nervous." "Open up the other end and give him a push, Matthew." "Here." "There's another one at this end." "There's two of them." "Two llamas?" "How thoughtful of somebody." "People are awfully nice." " What are you going to do with them?" " We could make ourselves... a couple of nice overcoats for a start." "Come on, boy." "Come on, boy." "This way, lad." "Come on." "Come on." "That's a good fella." "I don't believe it." "It can't be." " It is!" "It is!" " What?" "What?" "What?" "It's a pushmi-pullyu." " Look." " Holy O'Reilly." "Forgive me." "I'll never touch another drop." "Stubbins, pat the other end." "They're very timid." "This is without doubt the first one that's ever been captured." "If I had a head at each end, I'd take a bit of catching' too." " What's he saying, Doctor?" " It's rather difficult to understand." "It's a camel dialect with rather a thick accent." " A message?" "Oh, a message for me." " Is this it?" "Ah, yes, it's from Long Arrow." "I should have guessed." "Who's he when he's at home?" "The greatest naturalist in the world and a very old friend." " He's a Red Indian gentleman." " With a name like Long Arrow," "I didn't think he was Irish." " What's all them drawings, Doctor?" " Picture writing." "It's the only way we can communicate." "You see, this means the pushmi-pullyu is a gift." "The open hand, you see?" "For me." "That's me." "From his friend, Long Arrow." "To make money to take a ship... to search for great pink sea snail." "Signed Long Arrow." "Oh, that's marvelous." "But tell me, Doctor, how do you make money with a pushmi-pullyu?" "I thought it was obvious." "Stubbins, what would you do if you had two heads?" " I'd join a circus, sir." " Exactly." "Excuse me." "I'm looking for the proprietor." "You've found him." "Albert Blossom." " Splendid." "How do you do?" "My name's Dolittle." " I'm not interested." " I thought you might like to see a rather unusual..." " No, I wouldn't." "It's probably something you haven't seen before." "I've seen everything before." " Then you aren't interested?" " That's right." "I'm not interested." "Come along, Matthew." " Sorry to have troubled you." "Good day." " Good day." " It's a trick." " No, it's no trick." "Why..." "But..." "I've never seen anything like it." " Neither has anybody else." " Hey, whoa!" "I say, come here!" "Just a minute." "Hey, hey!" "I mean, l-I've never seen anything like it." "I mean, I've seen the world I've been around" "I can tell you stories that would quite astound you" "I'm not a fool I went to school" "I've been from Liverpool to Istanbul" "Istanbul, I'm no fool" "And anyone will tell you that I'm sharper than a knife" "But I've never seen anything like it in my life" " It's a pushmi-pullyu." " Is it?" "Well, I've never seen anything like it I've never seen anything like it" "I've never seen anything like it in my life" " It's the rarest animal on Earth." " It certainly is!" "Hey, hold up a moment." "Hey!" "I mean, I know the game I've seen them all" "I could tell you stories that would quite enthrall you" "I know me job Pleasin' the mob" "I give 'em what they want for just two bob" "Just two bob Well, that's my job" "But this is so fantastic I can't wait to tell the wife" "Gertie, you've never seen anything like it in your life" "Come on out!" "You've never seen anything like it I've never seen anything like it" "You've never seen anything like it in your life" "It's a bicranium, madam." "Arthur!" "Charlie!" "Joe!" "Come and have a look at this!" "Beverly, get Joe!" "I thought I'd seen every wonder in the world" "I've seen the Colosseum in Rome and the Acropolis" "I've made the biggest blunder in the world" "'Cause I've never seen anything quite like this" "Now look what you've done!" "You've frightened him!" "Hey, come back!" "Come back!" "I'm down to earth I'll tell you straight" "I could tell you stories that would fascinate you" "I know the trade I know the tricks" "I once bought an elephant for two pound six" "Two pound six Taught it tricks" "But for your pushmi-pullyu I'd pay three pounds" "Four pounds!" "Five!" "'Cause I've never seen anything like it that's alive" "I tell you what." "I'd even pay for it in cash." "Five?" "That wasn't exactly what we had in mind." "Because, you see, pushmi-pullyus are remarkable creatures" "Of all God's animals they're the cleverest" "They develop these remarkable features running up and down Mount Everest" " No!" " Yes!" "Absolutely true." "Runnin' up and down Mount Everest?" "Exactly." "You see..." "Running up and down the mountain gives them very nimble feet" "Put them on the right rope They could walk a tightrope" "That should give the audience a rare old treat" "And this extreme agility begets a rare ability" "Shared only with the mountain goats of France" "The pushmi-pullyu loves to dance" "I'll give you anything you want." " The terms are quite simple." " Anything you want!" " Four-week engagement." " Right!" " Share all profits equally." " Right." "Two performances a day." "Oh, uh, no, uh, four performances a day." "Just a minute." "We have a problem." "Well, what do they want?" "Three shows a day." "And four on Saturday?" "They agree." "Done!" "La, la-la, la" "La, la, la, la, la" " My dear Dolittle!" " Oh, I'm awfully sorry." "You've never seen anything like it!" "I've never seen anything like it." "Dolittle, me." "Thank you." " Me." " No, Dolittle." "I mean, you're not a fool" "Neither am I" "I could tell you stories that would stultify you" "Open your eyes What do you see" "This thing's a miracle for you and me" "Guarantee" "I agree" "Within a meager month I've seen my wildest dreams come true" "'Cause I've never seen anything like it nor have you" "Oh, I've never seen anything like it Never seen anything like it" "I've never seen anything like it" "In all my" "Life" "What's the matter with you, Sophie?" "Come on, Sophie." "Catch it." "Try again, Sophie." "Come on, Sophie." " That's yours." " Oh, thanks." "Right, well, I'm off to the bank." "Ah, here we are now. "Seals are notoriously sentimental creatures." "Prolonged separation from those they love can result... in complete lack of interest in their usual activities."" "That would explain why Sophie keeps dropping things in her act." "It isn't like her." "I'm sure she's pining for some reason." "I must go and have a chat with her." "This fellow obviously knows what he's talking about." " Who wrote the book, Doctor?" " Uh, oh, I did." " Hmm." " Just a moment!" "I have something to say to you," " Mr. Dolittle." " Doctor." "Doctor?" "I've heard of some hypocrites in my time, but you are contemptible!" "All that sanctimonious claptrap about protecting defenseless creatures, and here you are an animal trainer in a cheap circus!" "Exhibiting freaks!" "Come, lad." "Why don't you go and make some cocoa?" " I don't want any cocoa, do you?" " I'd love some, lad." "Yes." "Off you go." "Hello, Fred." "He is..." "He's very rude." "Who, the doctor?" "Oh, no, not at all." "He's a darlin' man." "Did you hear what he said about my uncle?" "Oh, that, yeah, well, he's a darlin' man, but he's very rude." "Of course, I wouldn't mind so much except everything he said was true." "You should never believe anybody who goes around tellin' the truth." "They're not to be trusted." "Ya have to do it both ends." "Otherwise it gets jealous." "He was too ashamed to say anything just now, of course." " Too nice." " Nice?" "He's the kindest man on God's Earth, Fred." "He understands animals better than you and me will ever understand anything'." "Well, I certainly don't understand him." "Ah, sure, now." "He's one of the beautiful people." "And I'm sure now he's one of the horrible people." "You're wrong, sweetheart." "I can't explain what it is that he is" "But he is what he is for a very good reason" "I can't explain why he does what he does" "But he does what he does 'cause his heart is pure" "Of that much" "I am sure" "I'm sure as I told young Tom the other day" "He lives in a world of fantasy" "And that is a world I plan to see, fantasy" "Can't you see" "The world is full of beautiful things" "Butterfly wings Fairy tale kings" "And each new day undoubtedly brings" "Still more beautiful things" "The world abounds with many delights" "Magical sights Fanciful flights" "And those who dream on beautiful nights" "Dream of beautiful things" "Beautiful days for sunshine lazin'" "Beautiful skies and shores" "Beautiful days when I can gaze" "In beautiful eyes" "Like yours" "Our lives tick by like a pendulum swings" "Poor little things Puppets on strings" "But life is full" "Of beautiful things" "Beautiful people" "Too" "Beautiful people" "Like" "You" "I see." "I see." "I'm sorry." "Hmm." "Ah, cocoa." "Come in, gentlemen." "You know Sophie, don't you?" "Oh, yes, of course you do." "It seems we have a problem on our hands." "Sophie's just been telling me how much she misses her husband." "That's why she couldn't concentrate on her performance, just as I thought." " Where is her husband?" " The North Pole." "That's the problem." "They were on their way there when Sophie was captured." "If she doesn't get back to him, she feels she's going to go completely to pieces." "What do you want us to do?" "Go to the North Pole?" "Unfortunately, there isn't time, but it's very pleasant up there." "But the North Pole hasn't been discovered yet." "Not officially." "I'd never say anything about it." "I promised the polar bears I wouldn't." "Anyway, that's beside the point." "What we've got to do is to get Sophie back to her husband." "Now, if I could get her to the Bristol Channel, she could swim it in about a week." "You go along there, around that bit, then straight on and then slightly to the left." "Oh, that's great, but how does she get to the Bristol Channel?" " Well, she'd have to escape." " Escape?" "A seal?" "I can hardly go to Blossom and say she wanted to go to the North Pole to see her husband." "He wouldn't believe a word." " You know something?" " What?" " She's gonna have to escape." " Tonight." "Shh." "Shh." " Is everything all right, sir?" " It's my grandmother." "She's not very well." "I'm taking her to Bristol." " Can you smell fish?" " Fish?" "It's Granny." "She's on a special diet." "Very wise, sir." "Are you all right, dear?" "Enjoying the trip?" "Oh, that's good." "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "What's the delay?" "What's going on there?" "Jack Fitch, the highwayman, has been seen on this road." "We have to search all coaches." "Help yourself." "You'll find no surprise in here." "All right, driver." "All right, get up." "All right, go on." "Come back here, Nelly!" "Nelly, come back here!" "Where are you going?" "Where are you going, Nelly?" "Come on back!" "Come back here, I tell ya!" "Well, here we are." "Sorry it was such an uncomfortable journey, but it was really the only way." "There, there, there, Sophie." "Don't get upset." "I can't bear females who cry." "Shh." "Don't look at me like that, Sophie, or I'll get upset too." "Dear Sophie, you understand so much, don't you?" "When I look in your eyes" "I see the wisdom of the world in your eyes" "I see the sadness of a thousand good-byes" "When I look in your eyes Shh, shh." "And it is no surprise" "To see the softness of the moon in your eyes" "The gentle sparkle of the stars in the skies" "When I look in your eyes" "In your eyes I see the deepness of the sea" "I see the deepness" "Of the love, the love I feel you feel for me" "Autumn comes, summer dies" "I see the passing of the years in your eyes" "And when we part, there will be no tears, no good-byes" "I'll just look into your eyes" "Dear Sophie Those eyes so wise" "So warm, so real" "Isn't it a pity you're a seal" "Well, she's on her way." " What did you throw her in for?" " She wanted to go back to her husband." "No, you don't understand at all." "She wasn't a woman." "She was a seal." " A seal?" " Yes." "Dressed in a bonnet and shawl?" "That's right." "Yes." "I'd sort of borrowed it from this lady in the tavern." "The bonnet had a little brown ribbon through..." "Never mind about the brown ribbons." "You then took the seal to Bristol in a stagecoach... and upon arrival promptly threw her over a cliff." "Exactly." "May one ask why?" "Uh, certainly." "Um, she wanted to go to the North Pole to see her husband." " Her husband?" " Yes." "What makes you think this seal wanted to go to the North Pole?" " Well, she told me." " She told you?" "Yes, we discussed it in great detail." "Are you in the habit of talking to animals?" "Yes, I am." "I do it all the time." "I thought perhaps you did." "With all due respect to Your Worship, I think I detect a note of skepticism in the court." "I would, therefore, like an opportunity... to prove the point by talking to any animal you care to nominate." "Very well then." "My dog Rufus is outside." "Bring him in!" "Oh, that's very kind of you." "This way, please." "Oh, thank you very much." "Yes, Rufus will be only too happy to answer any questions you care to ask." "Oh, I think we can dispense with that formality." "Uh, ask him what I had for dinner last night." "Very well." "Did he?" "Well, really?" "Did he?" "Good Lord." "Well, well." "Did he really?" "Well, well, well." "What did he say?" "I'm grateful that Your Worship acknowledges the fact that the dog was talking." "For dinner last night, Your Lordship enjoyed the following:" "Two helpings of boiled trout, four helpings of roast pheasant, roast potatoes, brussels sprouts and gravy," "Followed by six large portions of blackberry pie with whipped cream." "It's not true!" "I only had five helpings of blackberry pie!" "Your Lordship also drank a great deal of wine and brandy... and later in the evening sang noisy songs with your friends about a woman from Swansea..." "That's enough!" "The court is adjourned until tomorrow morning, pending inquiries about the bonnet and shawl stolen from the tavern in question." "Hmm." "Thank you." "Well, by my calculation, the trial will be over by 11:00 tomorrow morning." "Polynesia, how much did we earn from the circus?" "206 pounds, seven and fourpence, halfpenny." "Ah, it's more than enough." "I see no reason why we shouldn't set out to find the pink sea snail right away." "Matthew, go to the house and pick up my clothes." "Have the boat ready to sail by 12:00." "We'll catch the noontide or whatever it's called." "We haven't got a crew, so we'll have to make due with you and Stubbins and the animals." "I can come too?" "If your parents say so and you know how to tie a knot." "Hear that?" "We're going to help the doctor find the pink sea snail." "I should wait until you see his boat before you get too excited." "It isn't by chance it's called the Flounder." "No sailor in his right mind would touch it." "I'm not asking a sailor in his right mind." "I was asking you." "What do you say?" "I say that for a man who's about to be hanged for murder... to be gettin' ready to go on a pleasure cruise shows a very nice outlook." " Fred!" " To what do we owe this, uh, pleasure?" " I've brought dinner." " Dinner?" " Yes, for Matthew and Tommy." " Oh." "Set it down there, Hubert." "Steak and kidney pie and oxtail and roast beef." " Would you like some?" " Uh, no." "Oh, come on, Doctor." "Ya haven't had a bite all day." " No, thank you." " He's a vegetarian." "Oh, no!" "It, uh, seems a pity to waste it." "It's all right, Matthew." "Um, carry on." "I'm sorry, Doctor." "Come on, Tom." "Doctor?" "Um, Rufus was right." "He did have six helpings of blackberry pie." "Thank you." "Oh, thank you, Chee-Chee." "It seems that a bonnet and shawl were, in fact, removed... from the tavern in question on the day in question." "The lady who owns them, for reasons best known to herself, has no wish to prosecute." "You are, therefore, acquitted of the charge of murder." "Thank you very much." "However, your performance in this courtroom in the past two days... has left little doubt in the minds of my distinguished colleagues and myself... that your lunatic activities with animals infringe upon the public safety... and are not to be tolerated." "Happily, Her Majesty's farseeing benevolence provides a sanctuary for sad people like you... who think they can talk to animals and want to treat them like human beings." "Therefore, it is the judgment of this court... that you be committed indefinitely to an asylum for the insane." "Have you anything to say?" "I do not understand the human race" "It has so little love for creatures" "With a different face" "Treating animals like people is no madness or disgrace" "I do not understand the human race" "I wonder why do we treat animals like animals" "Animals treat us so very well" "The devoted way they serve us and protect us when we're nervous" "Oh, they really don't deserve us" "All we give them is hell" "Tell me how else man repays them" "Do we ever think to praise them, no, we don't" "And this dismays them You can tell" "We are riddled with ingratitude We give no love or latitude" "In every way our attitude is well, like animals" "No, no." "That's not what I mean." "I mean..." "Why do we treat animals like animals" "How can people be so inhumane" "Cows and chickens work to feed us" "Dogs and horses show they need us" "And though cats don't always heed us their affection is plain" "What do we do, we neglect them We do nothing to protect them" "We reject them Don't expect them to complain" "We ignore them or we beat them When we're hungry then we eat them" "It's appalling how we treat them, it's insane" "Like animals" "We humiliate and murder and confine them" "We create their wretched status" "Then we use it to malign them" "I mean, why should we say Treat him like a dog" "Why should we say Working like a horse" "Why should we say Eating like a hog" "When what we mean is Eating like a man" "Don't we, of course" "A man of ill repute is called a weasel or a rat" "A woman you dislike becomes a vixen or a cat" "A family that is blessed with healthy reproductive habits" "Occasions the remark, well, you know them, they breed like rabbits" "He's as stubborn as a mule He's as stupid as an ox" "He's as slimy as a snake He's as crafty as a fox" "Remarks like that really get my goat" "Why don't we say Noble as a frog" "Or why can't we say Wealthy as a hen" "True, we say Devoted as a dog" "What we should say is Chic as a giraffe" "Pretty as a pig, eh That will be the big day, won't it" "But when, but when" "But when, when will we stop treating them like animals" "Is the human race entirely mad" "Women see a baby goatskin or a lambskin or a stoatskin" "And to them it's just a coatskin Oh, it's terribly sad" "When you dress in suede or leather or some fancy fur or feather" "Do you stop and wonder whether for a fad" "You have killed some beast or other" "That you're wearing someone's brother" "Or perhaps it's someone's mother in which you're clad" "Like animals" "Like animals" "Like animals" "Well, it's true" "We do not live in a zoo" "But man is an animal too" "So why can't you" "Like me" "Like animals" "Animals" "Now, the prison faces the road here." "So what we do is we tie the ropes from the bars of the cell to the elephant, and he pulls the whole wall off." "How can you go on the voyage if the doctor's still in prison?" "We can't." "That's why Matthew's got this marvelous plan to get him out." "Then this second elephant..." "he's bigger than the first elephant..." "All the doctor has to do is step through the hole in the wall onto his back." " You'll never get away with this." " Listen, here's the clever part." "He slides down the elephant's trunk onto a waitin' rhinoceros and away they go!" "Just the three of you are going off on this boat?" "Oh, no." "Chee-Chee, Polynesia and Jip are coming too." "Then there's these six tigers, you see, to stop anyone following'." "To look for a pink sea snail?" "They'll be standing on the other side of the road while I'm settin' off the dynamite." " Dynamite?" " Oh, sure." "If we blow up the road, they'll have to go all the way around the town to get to the harbor, which gives me time to nip back here... and blow up the bridge while you're gettin' on the boat." "That's the beauty of this whole plan..." "its simplicity." " Are they really going to keep the doctor in prison?" " Oh, no, no." "They're moving him across to the loony bin at 12:00." " Today?" " Aye." "I've also an idea." "You get the boat ready." "Leave the doctor to me." "We sail at 12:00." "Avast now." "Aye, aye, sir." "We're a fine bunch, takin' orders from a parrot." "Matthew, how did you enjoy the food I brought you in the prison the other night?" "'Twas the best meal I ever had in me life." "They say that prison food is terrible." "I won't hear a word against it." "I was thinking." "Wouldn't it be nice if you were to have those kind of meals on your voyage?" "Oh, true now." "It would be marvelous." "The only way we could do that is if you was to..." "If we was to, uh..." "Ah!" "I'll tell you one thing, Fred." "I only hope there's no stowaways on that boat." "Because if there was, I wouldn't know where to look for them." "Anyway, once we're out at sea with an escaped convict, there's no turnin' back." "Oh, Matthew!" "I love you!" "Who would have thought that one little kiss" "Soft and sweet from the lips of a lovely girl" "Would to change my life" "But by my life" "It will" "After today nothing will be the same again" "After today I'll make my claim to fame and then" "The grass will be greener" "And the air will be cleaner" "And my life be serener" "Than heaven knows when" "Heaven knows when" "After today I shall have bid my fears good-bye" "After today I shall have no more tears" "To cry" "I'll learn to live with laughter to stay" "After" "Today" "After today nothing will be the way it was" "After today I'll say Oh, what a day it was" "My heart will be lighter" "And my smile will be brighter" "And I'll be twice the fighter" "That ever I was" "Clever because" "After today I shall have bid my fears farewell" "After today I shall have no more tears" "To quell" "I'll learn to live with laughter" "To stay" "After the tears comes the laughter" "After today" "Chee-Chee." "Run!" "Run!" "Stop!" "Don't follow the doctor!" "Don't obey!" "Don't obey!" "Right!" "Come on!" "This way!" "Don't sit down!" " Get up!" " After them!" "Go after him!" "This way." "Come on." "After him." "This way." " This way!" "No, this way!" " Ta-ta." " Stop them!" " Stop them!" "Stop them!" "It's all right, Doctor." "You can come out now." " There's not a policeman in sight." " Oh, thank you, Matthew." "Makes a very good little reading room, this." "I must use it more often." "Now, let's see where we are." "Ah, I see." "He says there's a faint smell of garlic coming from the southeast." " What does that mean?" " It means we're about ten miles off the coast of France." "I've got about the best navigational system on the high seas today." "Jip's got this incredible sense of smell, and Polynesia gets marvelous weather reports from the passing birds and fishes." " Everything all right at the house?" " Yes, Doctor." "Good." "Keep an eye on everything and don't bump into anything like Ireland." "Aye, aye, Doctor." " A very well organized escape." "Thank you." " Don't mention it." "I doubt if there's a ship afloat with flowers like these." "Look at these geraniums." "Absolutely glorious." "Have you seen my azaleas on the starboard side?" " No, sir, I can't say as I have." " They're doing wonderfully." "How are you enjoying life on the rolling deep?" "If the good Lord meant us to take to water, He'd have given us flippers." "No, Stubbins, move your mouth about more." "You must reread my essay on basic chimpanzee, page one." "I must cut these roses back." "There's so much to do on a ship." "What a marvelous smell, Matthew." "What have you been cooking?" "I'm absolutely starving." "Will this do?" "Do come on while it's still hot." "What are you doing here?" "I thought someone capable ought to look after Tommy on the voyage." "Stubbins is perfectly capable of looking after himself." "I must turn the ship around and go straight back to Puddleby... uh, well, immediately after lunch." "They'll, uh..." "They'll put ya inside if you go back, Doctor." "Oh, yes, that is a point." "What are we going to do with her if she stays?" "You make me sound like a stray cat." "A cat would be most welcome." "Don't worry." "It's vegetarian." " It's delicious." " It's marvelous." "Mmm." "What is it?" " Algue marine en croute." " Oh, yes." " What's that in English?" " Seaweed pie." "Mmm!" "It's really rather good." " Well, where are we going?" " To hunt for the great pink sea snail." "And where do you expect to find it?" "I haven't the faintest idea." "But as one place is as good as another, it's high time we decided." " Otherwise, when we get there, we won't know we've arrived." " Good thinking." " Thank you." " Are your voyages always as well planned as this?" "When possible." "Unfortunately, one doesn't always have time to go into minute details." " Such as knowing where you're going?" " That sort of thing." "But then how do you decide?" "We play a little game I invented." "One of us opens the atlas at random, sticks a pin in the open page." "Wherever it lands, that's where we go." " You can't be serious." " I'm very serious." "That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard of." "You could end up in all sorts of terrible places." "That's absolutely true." "I remember going to the Sahara Desert four times in succession... before I realized Chee-Chee had stuck down all the other pages of the atlas with jam." "Marvelous trips." "Lots of sand." "But that is exactly what I mean." "It's all right now." "I cleaned all the jam off." "Little bit there." "How you can sit there and say what you're saying I just don't know." "I must admit the Sahara is one place I'm praying we just won't go." "You know, that's absolutely typical of a woman." "There are so many fabulous faraway places to see" "She makes one seaweed pie and goes mad." "Such as Mexico, Sweden Hawaii, Japan and Capri" "Who does she think she is?" "There's so many exciting and wonderful places" "Much more inviting than desert oases" "Pleasant as home is it isn't what Rome is" "So why stay there" "When there are so many fabulous faraway places to see" "As though the seaweed pie was all that marvelous." "Why should Spain and Tahiti and Rio" " Just be only names to you and me" " Is there any more?" "I feel certain there are people we'd be glad to know there" "So tell me why don't we get up and go there" "Go to those fabulous places where we long to be" "Go to Bangkok and Hong Kong and Paris and Venice" "Tokyo and Cairo and Lisbon and London" "Wonderful, fabulous places" "We're longing to see" "When I think of the warm Caribbean" "I see a new world for you and me" "I'd give anything just to have one single day there" "Once we get there I know that we'll stay there" "Stay in those fabulous places where we long to be" " Such as Siam" " Sienna" " Vienna" " Verona" " Java, Jamaica" " Jamaica, Bombay" " Barcelona" " Ole!" " Ole!" "Ole!" "Ole!" " El toro!" " Ha, ha!" " Ole!" "Ole!" "Ole!" "Show me those fabulous places" "I'm longing to see" "My dear Miss Fairfax, you seem to have entirely missed the point." "I'm aware there are fabulous places wherever we sail" " Will we see them?" " We will." "But the point of the journey is science and finding the snail" "An incomparable thrill" "We shall question the sharks off the coast of Tobago" "Interview swamp life in Tierra del Fuego" " That sounds horrendous" " No, no, it's tremendous and well worthwhile" "We'll make detailed inquiries of every crustacean we meet" " Crustacean?" " Shellfish, they're sweet" "We will sail to the ends of the earth" "Till our search for the snail is quite complete" "We'll interrogate beetles and bugs in Nigeria" "And if we have to spend weeks in Siberia" "Eighty below but a place that we all ought to see" "But I haven't brought the right clothes for Siberia" "Those are the fabulous places you'll visit with me" "Sounds as if we're in for a good time." "Well, Siberia is one place you'll never see me go" "Stick in the pin Where the pins goes, then we go" " Ireland!" " Romania!" " No, Ruritania!" "We'll chase that sea snail from here to Tasmania" "Show me those fabulous places" "I'm longing to" "I'm longing to" "See" "It doesn't count." "You landed in the sea." "No, she hasn't." "Look." "There." "Well, that doesn't look very interesting." " What is it?" " "Sea Star Island." "Last reported position."" "Last reported position?" "What can that mean?" "The Sea Star Island." "That's faintly familiar." "Yes, yes, yes, yes." ""Seashore, sea slug, sea snail." "Sea Star Island."" "It's that floating island." "It moves all over the world like a ship." "It's a freak of nature." "This time of year it's sometimes sighted off the coast of Africa." "How terribly exciting." "I think you have chosen rather well." "I don't think it's exciting at all." "Couldn't we go to..." "Couldn't we go to Monte Carlo?" "Miss Fairfax, this is a serious zoogeographical expedition." "It's not a pleasure cruise for your personal benefit." "I promise to ask for no special privileges." "I promise to grant none." "A ship is no place for a woman." "The simple answer then is to treat me like a man." "I intend to." "Well, good-bye." "Twelve." "Uh-huh." "How is the score, Stubbins?" "And the arithmetic?" "You're winning, sir, I think." "Ah, well, that's the first sure sign we've been at sea too long." "Polynesia spoke to some swallows." "They said there's a terrific storm up ahead." "Isn't that marvelous?" "No, it isn't." "Can't we drive round it?" "I shouldn't think so." "The latest long-range fish forecast wasn't too encouraging." "Jip said he could smell thunder." " I didn't know thunder had a smell." " It does if you're a dog." "Uh, 82." "Mind you, Jip does tend to exaggerate." "If you ask me, bein' at sea is very much the same as bein' in prison, except at sea ya stand a better chance of drowning'." "That reminds me." "One of the ship's rats came to see me this afternoon." "Said he had a distinct tingle in his tail, a sure sign the ship was going down." "So his lot are preparing to leave, according to rat tradition." "He highly recommended we should do the same." "There's nowhere we can go." " Exactly." "That's what I told the rat." " Two." " What was that?" " A bit of lightning." "That's all." "When you finish clearing up, you better batten down the hatches and stay below." "Women are always scared stiff of storms." "Well, I'm not." "I'm a man, remember?" "I dread to think what this is going to do to my azaleas." "August 10." "Signs of inclement weather." "Crew's morale remains high." "Steady as she goes." "Thank you." "Thank you very much, indeed." " Any sign of her, Polynesia?" " Not yet." "Ah, good morning, Stubbins." "Beautiful day." "Yes, sir, good morning." "What happened to the ship?" "Very good question." "If we ever find enough bits, we'll put them together and find out." "Come on, Matthew." "Rise and shine." "I told ya Flounder was a terrible name for a boat." "Nonsense." "The flounder's a most reliable little fish." "It's survived the sea for thousands of years." "Aye, below the surface." "Anyway, we're all safe." "That's the main thing." " At least, we will be as soon as we find Miss Fairfax." " Poor Fred." "I said all along a ship was no place for a woman." "Heaven knows I did my best to make the voyage pleasant for her." "You can't spend your life running after a woman, waiting on her hand and foot when there's important work to be done." "I think under the circumstances I treated her very well." "Probably too well." "Spoiled her, in fact." "And I tied her very securely to that raft." "I hope she's all right." "That's all." " We'll make a full-scale search as soon as we get ashore." " Ashore?" "Sea Star Island." "That's where we're going, isn't it?" "Apart from the fact that we're shipwrecked, that we have no means of gettin' there, and that we don't know where it is anyway, yes." "You mustn't worry about things like that, Matthew." "By my calculations, we were sort of coming down in this direction like this, and the floating island was sort of coming down in that direction like that." "Then we sort of somehow or other sort of more or less meet... somewhere round about here." "Is that a fact?" "Ah!" "There it is now." "Well, shall we go ashore?" "Giddyap." "I must remember to get meself one of those." "Hmph." "Any sign of Fred?" "Not yet." "I only hope she caught the island." "It won't be passing here again for months." "You and Stubbins search the beaches." "I'll go inland." " Meet back here in two or three hours." " Yeah." "Tommy?" "Polynesia, I want every living creature on this island looking for that girl." "Yes, Doctor." " Every bird that can fly I want airborne until she's found." " Yes, Doctor." "She can't be at sea." "We'd have heard from the fish by now." " You sure she'll be all right, Polynesia?" " Yes, Doctor." "She's standing right behind you." "Good morning." "Oh, good morning." "Um, afraid we had a bit of a storm last night." "Thank you for telling me." "Pity you got lost." "You could have given us a hand getting these ashore." "I'm sorry." "I was fully occupied getting myself ashore." "No mind." "We managed." "Some of these books are very heavy though." "Saved all your books, I see." " Yes, most fortunate." " You lost all my dresses." "Yes, most unfortunate." "I saw your trunk floating amongst the wreckage." "However, the outfit you're wearing this morning... is the nicest thing I've seen you in since you left England." "This is my underwear." "Oh." "Anyway, it suits you." "I'm terribly glad to see you." "Are you?" "Uh, well, we got a tremendous lot to do." "We've got to unload the raft, find food and build whatever it is one has to build." " What are you trying to say?" " Hmm?" "Why don't you say what you mean?" "What do you mean, say what I mean?" "For a month or more I have listened and dreamed" "While the moon has glistened and a million stars have gleamed" " Waiting" " Waiting?" " Waiting" " What for?" "What for?" "For a man I know who is clever and kind" "But a man who never ever seems to know his mind" "Waiting" "Waiting" "Waiting for you to say you like me" "Or hate me or miss me or kiss me or something" "But nothing Nothing do you say" "At all" "Little wonder I feel sorely neglected" "Unwanted, rejected and small" "Little more than two feet tall" "Lucky to be here" "At all" "Emma?" "I think I..." "like you." "Yes, I think I do." "I think I like you." "I'm almost sure that I do" "I think I like the way you look" "The way your eyes reveal your mind" "Like a precious book that's hard to find" "I think I'm learning something strange and new" "But it's well worth learning" "Because I'm learning about you" "Like dawning sunshine" "When a new day is due" "I think I like you" "And I think you like me too" "Do you?" "Do you?" "Do you?" "Good afternoon." "Good afternoon." "Good heavens." "I do believe that's a great crested oriental moonbird." "It's terribly rare." "I'm so glad we came." "Great crested oriental moonbird." "What a bit of luck." "Ah, that's better." "Thank you very much." "Bye-bye." "The locals aren't a very friendly lot, are they?" "I bet you anything you like they're going to kill us." "Whoever said children had beautiful minds had obviously never met you." "Bein' in prison is much the same as bein' on a boat, except in prison there's less chance of drowning'." "And less chance of our getting back to Puddleby." "I must have a serious talk to whoever runs this place." "I promised to get Stubbins home in time to go to school." "I'm sure if you tell them that we'll be out of here in no time." "Give me a leg up." "I want to see what's going on out there." "Good heavens." "All right, Matthew." "Down." " Why is it so cold?" " It's like being back in England." "There's a bit of frost." "That's all." "It's quite clear what happened." "The storm that sank the Flounder must have blown the island off its usual course." "We're drifting too far north." "If we don't do something about it, that marvelous vegetation is going to die of frostbite." "To say nothin' of our dear selves." "This is obviously the gentleman to talk to." "Good morning." "Me Dr. Dolittle." "Search for great pink sea snail." "Small boy late for school." "Here very cold." "They all go home Puddleby, yes?" "What a funny accent." "Oh, I beg your pardon." "Actually, that's what I came to see you about." "My name is William Shakespeare, the Tenth." "You may call me Willie." "Come with me, please." "Thank you." "We've had lots of shipwrecks, of course." "Being a floating island does tend to make us a bit of a danger to shipping." "We've bumped into lots of things over the years." "But on the credit side, it enabled us to build a marvelous museum... and public library... books and art treasures from all over the place." "Everybody on the island speaks nine or ten languages." "We even name our children after our favorite authors." "That's why my name is William Shakespeare." "Do forgive this paraphernalia." "We're rehearsing now The Merchant Of Venice for our Shakespeare drama festival." " Do sit down." "Milk or lemon?" " Milk, please." "Must be a near perfect civilization." "Then what are we doin' in prison?" "Purely a precaution, old boy, a sort of quarantine." "Most of the white men who have come here in the past... usually started killing people before they've been introduced." " Extraordinary." "Help yourself to sugar." " Thank you." "But they never stay long." "They can't stand the peace and quiet." "I love peace and quiet, but unfortunately we won't be able to stay long either." "We've got to continue our hunt for the great pink sea snail." "You haven't by any chance heard of it being in the vicinity?" "At the moment you have a bigger problem than looking for snails." "According to popular superstition, newcomers to the island are responsible for all our misfortunes." "So the elders of the village are blaming you for this frost." "I don't know what we can do about that." "Perhaps there is something I can think of." "I do hope so for your sake." "You see, it's written here in the law book." ""He who brings sunshine to the coldness of our days... shall bask in the splendor of a thousand summers."" " That's very nice." " Yeah." "Yes, but it goes on." ""He who brings winter into the summer of our lives... shall die the death of a thousand screams."" " Oh." " I prefer the first one." "Yes, so did I." "The elders are also blaming you for what's happened to the animals." "What has happened to the animals?" "They've all caught colds." "They're coughing and sneezing all over the place." "I must do something about this immediately." "Come along, Polynesia." "We've got work to do." "Bless you." "Gesundheit." "Ha." "Here you are, Tommy." "Another little baby lion for you to take care of." "Yes, sir." "Bless you." "That inhalant seems to be working very well." "Bless you." "I was hoping this mustard bath would work." "Still very hot." "How soon will my cough mixture be ready?" " Five minutes." "Smell." " Mmm!" "I'd give it to the baby elephant first, if I were you." " Why?" " She's got a terrible cold." "I want to control it before she gives it to the family." "When a herd of elephants start sneezing, it's like a hurricane." "Might drive the island even further off course." "Thank you very much." "If we was to point them in the right direction, perhaps they could blow us back on course." "Pretty good theory, but terribly difficult to organize." "If elephants could swim, one good shove... and we'd be back in a southerly current before we could..." "Why didn't I think of that before?" " They can swim." " What, elephants?" "No, no, no, Matthew." "Tommy, what's as big as an elephant that can swim?" "A whale, sir." "Exactly." "Emma, get on with the cough mixture." "Bless you." "Now, how do you get in touch with a whale?" "I'll talk to him immediately." "Splendid." "Good morning." "Marvelous, if the giraffe doesn't mind." "Extremely kind of you." "I do appreciate it." "Bless you." "You'll explain?" "Good." "Here he comes." "It was very decent of that turtle to put us in touch with him." "My word!" "He's a big fellow." "Now, if he gave a shove below us, that should just about do the trick." "Good morning." "One... shove... here." "We really must learn to speak a few words of whale." "Apparently they're very nice, but nobody ever talks to them." "Look!" "Why is it doing that?" "The island is bound to roll a bit after that shove." "It set that balancing rock in motion." " It'll soon calm down." " That would be highly desirable." "It says here in the law book," ""He who causes the great rock to fall into the hot mountain... shall die the death of 10,000 screams."" " Uh, how many screams did you say?" " 10,000." "I shouldn't have thought it was worth more than five." " I cannot tell you how upset I am about this." " You're upset?" "We realize it isn't your fault." "I've been through the law book from cover to cover." "There is nothing I can do." " This is the tradition." " Oh, well, we hate to break a tradition." "I once heard a story about a tribe that burned people alive, then et them for dinner." "I bet that's what they're going to do to us." "Will you please put a curb on your lurid imagination?" "I'm sorry about this, Emma." "It hasn't been very relaxing the last few days, has it?" "I think we've bumped into something." "Stop!" "Release them!" "Holy Pat." "What did we do now?" "We've collided with the mainland." "The two pieces fit perfectly." " How extraordinary." " Not really." "The oldest legend of the island has always maintained... that we are a bit of Africa that has been missing for 5,000 years." "Is there a reward for finding it?" "Oh, indeed, yes." ""He who brings back the lost island from the sea... shall live as a god for a thousand moons."" "Thank you." "Thank you." "That's very pleasant, but if you will excuse me, I must get back to the hospital, in case the elephant sneezes and blows all the other patients away." "What will you do when the animals are all well again?" "I have one great ambition." "I came to find a great pink sea snail." "I intend to find it." "The great pink sea snail is more than mythical." "I always thought that, too, Willie." "No, no." "You can see the animals as they come out." " Guard the gate, Matthew." " Oh!" "Come on." "Come on." " Why does he have the animals in there?" " All right, all right." "I'll tell ya." "Behind these gates is the most wonderful place in all the world." " Can we see it?" " Can we see it?" " Shh!" " Shh!" "This is the world of Dr. Dolittle" "The wonderful world of Dr. Dolittle" "Where crocodiles talk and elephants sing" "And animals do most any old thing" "Where polar bears wear top hats" "And leopards with spots wear spats" "Well, that's life in the world of Dr. Dolittle" "Doves start to coo when they see Dolittle" "He has a profound philosophy" "If animals can be friends says he" "Well, then why can't we" "Matthew, open the gate." "Come on, baby." "Up!" "See they're all right, Matthew." "Say how do you do to the world of Dr. Dolittle" "Say how do you do to the world of Dr. Dolittle" "Life is a zoo to Dr. Dolittle" "Life is a zoo to Dr. Dolittle" "Where antelopes lope" " And ostriches fan" " And ostriches fan" "And kangaroos do what kangaroos can" "To make the hyenas laugh" "As long as a long giraffe" "Every calf starts to moo when they see Dolittle" "Even the few who used to moo little" "For all of the birds and beasts agree" "He has a profound philosophy" "And so why can't" "We." "All of the birds and beasts agree" "He has a profound philosophy" "And so why can't we" "Do little things to help them" "Why" "Can't" "We" "Oh." "Well, thank goodness they only had head colds." "Think how terrible it would have been if they'd had sore throats." "Our last two patients." "Well done, Emma." "Well, not a sniffle left on the island." "Interesting noise." "Can't be." "You mean, the great pink sea snail..." "Precisely, and by the sound of it, he seems to have caught a chill too." "So sorry." "I've never seen anything like it." " Yes, I see." "Well, just a minute." "Amazing!" " What is?" "We've been searching for weeks for the great snail." "He's been with us all the time." "Lives in an underground cave and moves about with the island." "I was quite right." "He's got a shocking cold." "I told him I was a doctor, and if he'd come on the beach, I'd mix him a batch of my special tonic." "It'll need to be rather large, won't it?" "What's that?" " What is it?" " He's purring." "Thrilled with his medicine." "Feels much more relaxed, almost like a new snail." " Wanted to know if there's anything he can do for us." " Is there?" "Yes, he can take you all safely back to Puddleby." "Oh, well." "Well, that's a bit of an imposition." "Puddleby's a long way away." "All you did was give him a little medicine." "He's 2,000 years old." "He's lonely." "It'll be company for him." "He'd been planning to visit his cousin in Scotland for 300 years and put it off." "Be a great opportunity for him." " His cousin in Scotland?" " You've heard of the Loch Ness monster?" " Yes." " Well, it's a cousin." " Good heavens." " Travel under the sea?" "But it's bad enough on top." "We'd all drown, Doctor." "No, the shell is completely watertight." "It'll be like traveling in a big pink bubble." "Yes, he says he can get you back to Puddleby by two weeks from Tuesday." "This must be the only snail in the world with four bedrooms." "Oh, and, Polynesia, don't forget to remind the snail to surface twice a day for his cough mixture." "It will fix up his cold, and stretch your legs and get some sea air." " Yes, Doctor." " Oh, good." "I'd hate to miss my turn on deck." "And, Chee-Chee, don't eat all the bananas." "Leave some for the others." "Shh, shh." "Don't be sad." "That's all, sir." "Good-bye, Stubbins." "Go up to the house whenever you like." "Yes, sir." "And, Doctor, come home soon, sir." "Well..." "Well, I'll, uh..." "I'll send your other high hat back from Puddleby, Doctor." "The snail can bring it back with him." "Yours is looking a little grubby now." "You'll probably find it a bit difficult to get one here." "Yes, uh, probably." "Well, thank you, Matthew." "Well, uh, good-bye." "Bye." "Uh, give my love to everyone at home, to Gub-Gub and Dab-Dab and everyone." "Good-bye, John Dolittle." "Take care!" "Well, Tom, I still wish he was comin' with us." "I've never driven one of these things before." "Sure you won't change your mind and come with us?" "I can't, Emma." "Your uncle will put me away the moment I set foot in Puddleby." "But you have to come back one day." "I hope so." "A lot of animals depend on me." "One or two people too." "Puddleby's going to seem very dull after all this excitement." "I mean, what are you going to do here?" "I think I'll start planning my next voyage." "Where are you going this time?" "The moon?" " Very probably, yes." " You're not serious." " Oh, yes." " How?" "On the giant lunar moth." "Magnificent creature." "Flies backwards and forwards between the earth and the moon." "When it reaches one, it's attracted by the light of the other and flies back again." "Willie tells me there's one on the island." "My idea is to build some sort of saddle arrangement," " very secure, so I don't fall off halfway." " Can I come?" "Hmm?" "Can I come with you?" "Emma, I'm afraid..." "I'm not very good with people." "L..." "I'm all right with animals, but people..." "I'm not very good with." "I never have been." "I don't know why." "I'll write to you." "I'll organize an air postal service with the seagulls." "I'll miss you, John Dolittle." "Well, I'll tell you one thing, Tom." "If we ever drown in this thing, it'll be in a flood of tears." "Sophie." "What are you doing here?" "No." "Oh, how do you do, sir?" "Really?" "Good Lord." "Sophie, that's marvelous news." "Thank you very much, indeed." "Good-bye, Sophie." "Thank you." "Thank you!" ""Good night, sweet Prince, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest."" "Willie!" "Willie!" "Wonderful news." "Sophie, the seal, and her husband have come to tell me... all the animals in England are on strike." "They refuse to do any work until I'm reprieved." " You can go home?" " Yes." "The local magistrate is begging me to go back." "The whole country's paralyzed without the animals." " Congratulations." " Thank you very much." "I think that tree is about the right size." "It's a 60-foot overall wingspan." " But you've missed the snail." " I've got a better idea." "I'm going to fly home." "Can you imagine their faces when they see me on the quayside waiting for them in Puddleby?" " Fly home?" " Since you say there's one on the island, on the lunar moth." " Help me make a model so I can gauge where to put the saddle." " Certainly." "I've got to allow for a very steep rate of climb." "Now, you see, you'll be the wings." "All of you." "That's it." "Just sit down inside those lines I've just drawn." "Everybody." "That's the idea." "Good." "Yes, I think it's going to work splendidly." "As soon as I've built this saddle, we'll go and have a chat with the lunar moth." "I only hope he understands common house moth." "That's all I speak." "Then as soon as the moon comes up, we'll be off to Puddleby." "Wonderful night for flying." "By my calculations I should be home in time for breakfast." "The stars are made of lemon drops" "The bigger ones are lollipops and ice" "The clouds have shops up on the tops" "That sell you sweets and soda pops" "What do they call the place Isn't it paradise" "Maybe what the doctor tells me" "Isn't altogether true" "But I know every tale he tells me" "I don't know any better ones Do you" "My friend the doctor says the world is full of fantasy" "And who are you and I to disagree" "Let's hope and pray that is the way" "The life we love will always stay" "For my friend the doctor" "And me"