"[Kid static's "moonlight" plays]" "♪ You taste like moonlight ♪ lose my state of mind ♪ I ain't lying" "♪ lose my state of mind ♪ I ain't lying ♪ like a lion lying down now" "♪ I ain't lying ♪ like a lion lying down now ♪ now, calm down, child" "♪ like a lion lying down now ♪ now, calm down, child ♪ it's just this thing got me" "♪ now, calm down, child ♪ it's just this thing got me wild now ♪" "♪ it's just this thing got me wild now ♪ ♪ you taste like moonlight wild now ♪ ♪ you taste like moonlight ♪ lose my state of mind" "♪ you taste like moonlight ♪ lose my state of mind ♪ I ain't lying" "♪ lose my state of mind ♪ I ain't lying ♪ like a lion lying down now" "♪ I ain't lying ♪ like a lion lying down now ♪ now, calm down, child" "♪ like a lion lying down now ♪ now, calm down, child ♪ it's just this thing got me" "♪ now, calm down, child ♪ it's just this thing got me wild now ♪" "♪ it's just this thing got me wild now ♪ [Moans]" "Wild now ♪ [Moans] [Breathing heavily]" "[Moans] [Breathing heavily] Stop!" "[Breathing heavily] Stop!" "Come on!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "Come on!" "Stop!" "Geez, nicole!" "Come on!" "Stop!" "Geez, nicole!" "What gives?" "Geez, nicole!" "What gives?" "I thought you liked what I was what gives?" "I thought you liked what I was doing this time." "I thought you liked what I was doing this time." "Didn't it feel good?" "Doing this time." "Didn't it feel good?" "Sure it did, george." "Didn't it feel good?" "Sure it did, george." "So, think how good it will sure it did, george." "So, think how good it will feel when we don't stop." "So, think how good it will feel when we don't stop." "[Smack!" "]" "Feel when we don't stop." "[Smack!" "] What did I say?" "[Smack!" "] What did I say?" "Ow!" "I'm sorry!" "What did I say?" "Ow!" "I'm sorry!" "Going all the way is ow!" "I'm sorry!" "Going all the way is something we're just not ready going all the way is something we're just not ready for." "Something we're just not ready for." "Well, I feel ready." "For." "Well, I feel ready." "[Smack!" "]" "Well, I feel ready." "[Smack!" "] Pay attention!" "[Smack!" "] Pay attention!" "Ow!" "I'm listening!" "Pay attention!" "Ow!" "I'm listening!" "George, sex is a sacred act." "Ow!" "I'm listening!" "George, sex is a sacred act." "All right, now, two people may george, sex is a sacred act." "All right, now, two people may love each other and have all all right, now, two people may love each other and have all sorts of other feelings, but it love each other and have all sorts of other feelings, but it just isn't right if those two" "sorts of other feelings, but it just isn't right if those two people aren't joined in the holy just isn't right if those two people aren't joined in the holy sacrament of marriage." "People aren't joined in the holy sacrament of marriage." "I mean, sex without that sacrament of marriage." "I mean, sex without that sanctified bond may lead the" "I mean, sex without that sanctified bond may lead the fornicators to be punished by sanctified bond may lead the fornicators to be punished by having retarded bastard babies fornicators to be punished by having retarded bastard babies or burning in the eternal fires" "having retarded bastard babies or burning in the eternal fires of damnation!" "Or burning in the eternal fires of damnation!" "You don't want that, do you, of damnation!" "You don't want that, do you, george?" "You don't want that, do you, george?" "No." "George?" "No." "[Exhales sharply]" "No." "[Exhales sharply] [Sighs]" "[Exhales sharply] [Sighs] You should really be thanking [sighs] You should really be thanking me." "You should really be thanking me." "I mean, my willpower is the only me." "I mean, my willpower is the only thing standing between us and" "I mean, my willpower is the only thing standing between us and the gates of hell." "Thing standing between us and the gates of hell." "Remember -- the only truly safe the gates of hell." "Remember -- the only truly safe sex is no sex." "Remember -- the only truly safe sex is no sex." "[Chuckles]" "Sex is no sex." "[Chuckles] [Gasps]" "[Chuckles] [Gasps] [Chokes]" "[Gasps] [Chokes] [Screaming]" "♪ Well, I feel so good ♪ I feel so good ♪ and I don't know why" "♪ I feel so good ♪ and I don't know why ♪ and I don't know why" "♪ and I don't know why ♪ and I don't know why ♪ well, I don't feel nothing" "♪ and I don't know why ♪ well, I don't feel nothing 'cause I'm dead inside ♪" "♪ well, I don't feel nothing 'cause I'm dead inside ♪ ♪ and I'm up to my eyes in 'cause I'm dead inside ♪ ♪ and I'm up to my eyes in dirt ♪" "♪ and I'm up to my eyes in dirt ♪ ♪ well, I feel so strange dirt ♪ ♪ well, I feel so strange ♪ I don't feel so good" "♪ well, I feel so strange ♪ I don't feel so good ♪ and I don't know why" "♪ I don't feel so good ♪ and I don't know why ♪ and I don't know why" "♪ and I don't know why ♪ and I don't know why ♪ well, I don't feel nothing" "♪ and I don't know why ♪ well, I don't feel nothing 'cause I'm dead inside ♪" "♪ well, I don't feel nothing 'cause I'm dead inside ♪ ♪ and I'm up to my eyes in 'cause I'm dead inside ♪ ♪ and I'm up to my eyes in dirt ♪" "[School bell rings] Damn it." "I just need a couple more damn it." "I just need a couple more minutes to finish this story" "I just need a couple more minutes to finish this story outline." "Minutes to finish this story outline." "I know." "Outline." "I know." "I was just getting to the best" "I know." "I was just getting to the best part." "I was just getting to the best part." "Ugh." "Yuck." "Part." "Ugh." "Yuck." "How can you read this ugh." "Yuck." "How can you read this sentimental tripe?" "How can you read this sentimental tripe?" "What?" "It's romantic." "Sentimental tripe?" "What?" "It's romantic." "Kath, I keep telling you." "What?" "It's romantic." "Kath, I keep telling you." "Romance is just another kath, I keep telling you." "Romance is just another patriarchal social construct romance is just another patriarchal social construct designed to keep women patriarchal social construct designed to keep women submissive and teaching us, yet designed to keep women submissive and teaching us, yet again, that our sexuality is our" "submissive and teaching us, yet again, that our sexuality is our most marketable commodity." "Again, that our sexuality is our most marketable commodity." "Okay, gloria steinem." "Most marketable commodity." "Okay, gloria steinem." "And here to illustrate my okay, gloria steinem." "And here to illustrate my point..." "And here to illustrate my point..." "Look, y'all." "Point..." "Look, y'all." "It's los lesbos de san griento." "Look, y'all." "It's los lesbos de san griento." "[Laughter]" "It's los lesbos de san griento." "[Laughter] And I think we know which one's [laughter] And I think we know which one's the butch." "And I think we know which one's the butch." "Oh, I'm sorry." "The butch." "Oh, I'm sorry." "I thought bi-curious oh, I'm sorry." "I thought bi-curious girl-on-girl action was still" "I thought bi-curious girl-on-girl action was still trendy this week." "Girl-on-girl action was still trendy this week." "I don't want to be rude, but trendy this week." "I don't want to be rude, but not if you're fugly, honey." "I don't want to be rude, but not if you're fugly, honey. [Laughter]" "Not if you're fugly, honey." "[Laughter] Yeah." "[Laughter] Yeah." "It's not like you're a yeah." "It's not like you're a tila tequila and sasha grey." "It's not like you're a tila tequila and sasha grey." "Wow, I guess I'd be crushed tila tequila and sasha grey." "Wow, I guess I'd be crushed by that if all my role models wow, I guess I'd be crushed by that if all my role models were brainless porn stars." "By that if all my role models were brainless porn stars." "Which reminds me, I saw her were brainless porn stars." "Which reminds me, I saw her in the gym the other day." "Which reminds me, I saw her in the gym the other day." "Full bush." "In the gym the other day." "Full bush." "Ugh." "Full bush." "Ugh." "Better watch those rug burns." "Ugh." "Better watch those rug burns." "Yeah, saw you, too." "Better watch those rug burns." "Yeah, saw you, too." "Somewhere hitler's missing his yeah, saw you, too." "Somewhere hitler's missing his mustache." "Somewhere hitler's missing his mustache." "Ew." "Mustache." "Ew." "Who?" "Ew." "Who?" "Let's roll, chicas." "Who?" "Let's roll, chicas." "It smells like fish taco tuesday let's roll, chicas." "It smells like fish taco tuesday over here." "It smells like fish taco tuesday over here." "[Laughter]" "Over here." "[Laughter] Ugh." "[Laughter] Ugh." "Prime examples of what I was ugh." "Prime examples of what I was just talking about." "Prime examples of what I was just talking about." "Kath." "Just talking about." "Kath." "Hmm?" "Kath." "Hmm?" "Come on." "Hmm?" "Come on." "They're just a bunch of wannabe come on." "They're just a bunch of wannabe hiltons from hicktown." "They're just a bunch of wannabe hiltons from hicktown." "What do you care what they hiltons from hicktown." "What do you care what they think?" "What do you care what they think?" "I know, but..." "Think?" "I know, but..." "Okay, maybe your article" "I know, but..." "Okay, maybe your article exposing the seedy underbelly of okay, maybe your article exposing the seedy underbelly of the prom committee wasn't the exposing the seedy underbelly of the prom committee wasn't the smartest choice for a social" "the prom committee wasn't the smartest choice for a social standing at this school." "Smartest choice for a social standing at this school." "What?" "Standing at this school." "What?" "I changed the names to protect what?" "I changed the names to protect the guilty." "I changed the names to protect the guilty." "Speaking of my high journalistic the guilty." "Speaking of my high journalistic standards, what do you think of speaking of my high journalistic standards, what do you think of this story?" "Standards, what do you think of this story?" ""What is san griento security this story?" ""What is san griento security really protecting us from?"" ""What is san griento security really protecting us from?" It'd be, like, an investigation really protecting us from?" It'd be, like, an investigation on why this community felt the it'd be, like, an investigation on why this community felt the need to privatize its police" "on why this community felt the need to privatize its police force." "Need to privatize its police force." "You already wrote about sgs force." "You already wrote about sgs and racial profiling last year." "You already wrote about sgs and racial profiling last year." "No, but this is a totally and racial profiling last year." "No, but this is a totally different angle." "No, but this is a totally different angle." "Leah." "Different angle." "Leah. [Sighs]" "Leah. [Sighs] Oh, you're right." "[Sighs] Oh, you're right." "It's too similar." "Oh, you're right." "It's too similar." "Ugh, damn it." "It's too similar." "Ugh, damn it." "Hey, you'll think of a great ugh, damn it." "Hey, you'll think of a great story." "Hey, you'll think of a great story." "You always do." "Story." "You always do." "Yeah, but I don't need a you always do." "Yeah, but I don't need a story." "Yeah, but I don't need a story." "I need the story if I've got any story." "I need the story if I've got any shot at a journalism i need the story if I've got any shot at a journalism scholarship." "Shot at a journalism scholarship." "Hey, you never know." "Scholarship." "Hey, you never know." "Griento-gate might be just right hey, you never know." "Griento-gate might be just right around the corner waiting to griento-gate might be just right around the corner waiting to make you the next rachel maddow." "Around the corner waiting to make you the next rachel maddow." "Hmm." "Make you the next rachel maddow." "Hmm." "I like the sound of that." "Hmm." "I like the sound of that." "[Chuckles]" "I like the sound of that." "[Chuckles] What did she mean by rug burn?" "[Chuckles] What did she mean by rug burn?" "Put it out of your mind." "What did she mean by rug burn?" "Put it out of your mind." "Heads up, comrade." "Hi." "Hi." "[Speaks spanish]" "Hi." "[Speaks spanish] I'm good." "[Speaks spanish] I'm good." "How are you?" "I'm good." "How are you?" "I'm good." "How are you?" "I'm good." "Leah " "I'm good." "Leah -- bye." "Leah -- bye." "Love is in the air." "Bye." "Love is in the air." "What?" "Who?" "Love is in the air." "What?" "Who?" "Oh, please." "What?" "Who?" "Oh, please." "Dude, paul jimenez has had it oh, please." "Dude, paul jimenez has had it bad for you since jump street, dude, paul jimenez has had it bad for you since jump street, and you still won't toss him a bad for you since jump street, and you still won't toss him a crumb of your affection." "And you still won't toss him a crumb of your affection." "Well, according to the crumb of your affection." "Well, according to the hiltons, I may be in the market well, according to the hiltons, I may be in the market for a beard." "Hiltons, I may be in the market for a beard." "Oh!" "Ba-dum!" "For a beard." "Oh!" "Ba-dum!" "Both:" "Ching!" "Oh!" "Ba-dum!" "Both:" "Ching!" "All right, I'll see you both:" "Ching!" "All right, I'll see you later, old buddy, old pal." "All right, I'll see you later, old buddy, old pal. [School bell rings]" "Later, old buddy, old pal." "[School bell rings] [Laughter]" "[School bell rings] [Laughter] Right?" "[Laughter] Right?" "[Indistinct conversation]" "Right?" "[Indistinct conversation] I mean, I shouldn't be [indistinct conversation] I mean, I shouldn't be surprised, 'cause she wears that" "I mean, I shouldn't be surprised, 'cause she wears that every single day." "Surprised, 'cause she wears that every single day." "It's ridic-- [Laughs]" "Every single day." "It's ridic-- [Laughs] [Laughing] It's so stupid." "It's ridic-- [Laughs] [Laughing] It's so stupid." "Ashley, I would never say [laughing] It's so stupid." "Ashley, I would never say you're lying, but for reals." "Ashley, I would never say you're lying, but for reals." "Have you not gone all the way you're lying, but for reals." "Have you not gone all the way with carson yet?" "Have you not gone all the way with carson yet?" "Hello?" "With carson yet?" "Hello?" "We've been talking about doing hello?" "We've been talking about doing this as a team since we were in we've been talking about doing this as a team since we were in fifth grade." "This as a team since we were in fifth grade." "I'm not gonna punk out on you fifth grade." "I'm not gonna punk out on you bitches now." "I'm not gonna punk out on you bitches now." "That is, like, so cool." "Bitches now." "That is, like, so cool." "It's, like, "true life " " I'm that is, like, so cool." "It's, like, "true life " " I'm losing it with my friends."" "It's, like, "true life " " I'm losing it with my friends." [Cellphone chimes]" "Losing it with my friends." [Cellphone chimes] Travis won't stop blowing up [cellphone chimes] Travis won't stop blowing up my cell." "Travis won't stop blowing up my cell." "It's on for saturday, ladies, my cell." "It's on for saturday, ladies, so get those afro snatches it's on for saturday, ladies, so get those afro snatches brazilian'd." "So get those afro snatches brazilian'd." "Oh, brit, you still have our brazilian'd." "Oh, brit, you still have our safe house covered?" "Oh, brit, you still have our safe house covered?" "My mom's still in rehab." "Safe house covered?" "My mom's still in rehab." "We know drama." "My mom's still in rehab." "We know drama. [Cellphone chimes]" "We know drama." "[Cellphone chimes] Ooh!" "[Giggles]" "[Cellphone chimes] Ooh!" "[Giggles] Okay, chicas, let's go tell ooh!" "[Giggles] Okay, chicas, let's go tell the boys." "Okay, chicas, let's go tell the boys. [Squeals]" "The boys. [Squeals] All:" "Love you long time." "[Squeals] All:" "Love you long time." "[Indistinct conversation]" "Gross!" "They really said all that?" "Yeah." "They really said all that?" "Yeah." "So..." "What do you think?" "Yeah." "So..." "What do you think?" ""Losing it -- a group sport for so..." "What do you think?" ""Losing it -- a group sport for today's teens."" ""Losing it -- a group sport for today's teens." Is that not just the story I've today's teens." Is that not just the story I've been looking for?" "Is that not just the story I've been looking for?" "Wait, leah." "Been looking for?" "Wait, leah." "You're not gonna smear them in wait, leah." "You're not gonna smear them in the school paper again?" "You're not gonna smear them in the school paper again?" "Forget the paper." "The school paper again?" "Forget the paper." "This is tied to larger social forget the paper." "This is tied to larger social issues." "This is tied to larger social issues." "I mean, I could blog it, try to issues." "I mean, I could blog it, try to get it linked to huff po or i mean, I could blog it, try to get it linked to huff po or daily kos." "Get it linked to huff po or daily kos." "Sweet jesus." "Daily kos." "Sweet jesus." "You're like the julian assange sweet jesus." "You're like the julian assange of sghs." "You're like the julian assange of sghs." "Oh, come on." "Of sghs." "Oh, come on." "Like this is any major oh, come on." "Like this is any major revelation?" "Like this is any major revelation?" "Those sluts have been giving revelation?" "Those sluts have been giving hand jobs since the eighth those sluts have been giving hand jobs since the eighth grade." "Hand jobs since the eighth grade." "Breaking the safety seal on grade." "Breaking the safety seal on their overly waxed punanis -- breaking the safety seal on their overly waxed punanis -- barely a technicality at this their overly waxed punanis -- barely a technicality at this point." "Barely a technicality at this point." "And besides, I'll just use point." "And besides, I'll just use pseudonyms again." "And besides, I'll just use pseudonyms again." "Ohh." "Pseudonyms again." "Ohh." "You won't be happy until you ohh." "You won't be happy until you completely ruin my life, will you won't be happy until you completely ruin my life, will you?" "Completely ruin my life, will you?" "Don't be so dramatic." "You?" "Don't be so dramatic." "Look, in a couple months, we'll don't be so dramatic." "Look, in a couple months, we'll finally be out of tea-bagger look, in a couple months, we'll finally be out of tea-bagger heaven, and I promise you, you finally be out of tea-bagger heaven, and I promise you, you won't even remember the" "heaven, and I promise you, you won't even remember the kardashians' names, let alone won't even remember the kardashians' names, let alone all the crap we took from them." "Kardashians' names, let alone all the crap we took from them." "Leah." "All the crap we took from them." "Leah." "Come on, kath." "Leah." "Come on, kath." "All we need's each other, right?" "Come on, kath." "All we need's each other, right?" "[Sighs]" "All we need's each other, right?" "[Sighs] Right." "[Sighs] Right." "Yeah!" "Right." "Yeah!" "[Crickets chirping]" "[Indistinct conversations] Please, everyone, may I have -- sweetie, the wine." "Please, everyone, may I have -- sweetie, the wine." "May I have your attention for a have -- sweetie, the wine." "May I have your attention for a few moments?" "May I have your attention for a few moments?" "You have all entrusted concerned few moments?" "You have all entrusted concerned citizens of san griento with you have all entrusted concerned citizens of san griento with upholding the traditional values citizens of san griento with upholding the traditional values that make our community such a upholding the traditional values that make our community such a wonderful place to live and" "that make our community such a wonderful place to live and raise our children." "Wonderful place to live and raise our children." "But as you also know, those raise our children." "But as you also know, those things we hold dear are under but as you also know, those things we hold dear are under constant attack from socialists things we hold dear are under constant attack from socialists and the liberal homosexual" "constant attack from socialists and the liberal homosexual agenda." "And the liberal homosexual agenda." "[Crowd murmuring]" "Agenda. [Crowd murmuring] therefore, I have proposed an [crowd murmuring] Therefore, I have proposed an overhauled abstinence-education therefore, I have proposed an overhauled abstinence-education program for our young people in overhauled abstinence-education program for our young people in the high school." "Program for our young people in the high school." "[Applause]" "The high school." "[Applause] co-authored by our fellow board [applause] Co-authored by our fellow board members judy lopez and co-authored by our fellow board members judy lopez and jan beauright, this program will members judy lopez and jan beauright, this program will be privately funded and not" "jan beauright, this program will be privately funded and not subject to the whims of big be privately funded and not subject to the whims of big government." "Subject to the whims of big government." "I am pleased to report that I government." "I am pleased to report that I have found the perfect person to i am pleased to report that I have found the perfect person to lead this new venture." "Have found the perfect person to lead this new venture." "She recently fled the immoral lead this new venture." "She recently fled the immoral climate of her homeland in she recently fled the immoral climate of her homeland in europe, realizing that only in climate of her homeland in europe, realizing that only in real america could she continue" "europe, realizing that only in real america could she continue her tireless work for the real america could she continue her tireless work for the abstinence cause." "Her tireless work for the abstinence cause." "Please won't you all give a abstinence cause." "Please won't you all give a gracious welcome to liz batho." "Please won't you all give a gracious welcome to liz batho. [Applause]" "[European accent] Thank you, jillian, and thank you all for such a warm and generous you, jillian, and thank you all for such a warm and generous welcome to your lovely, little for such a warm and generous welcome to your lovely, little town." "Welcome to your lovely, little town." "The women of today are growing town." "The women of today are growing up in a world filled with the women of today are growing up in a world filled with temptation." "Up in a world filled with temptation." "Before the full blush is on the temptation." "Before the full blush is on the bloom, they are ready to toss before the full blush is on the bloom, they are ready to toss their bouquets to the first bloom, they are ready to toss their bouquets to the first young man who compliments their" "their bouquets to the first young man who compliments their rosy cheeks or their blossoming young man who compliments their rosy cheeks or their blossoming lips." "Rosy cheeks or their blossoming lips." "Excuse me." "Lips." "Excuse me." "Are you saying our daughters are excuse me." "Are you saying our daughters are sluts?" "Are you saying our daughters are sluts?" "No, no." "Sluts?" "No, no." "But without the right guidance, no, no." "But without the right guidance, they may become sluts." "But without the right guidance, they may become sluts." "Without the proper support they may become sluts." "Without the proper support system, our children are often without the proper support system, our children are often led astray by their burgeoning system, our children are often led astray by their burgeoning feelings -- led astray by their burgeoning feelings -- and the over-sexed" "feelings -- and the over-sexed "lamestream" media." "And the over-sexed "lamestream" media." "Yes, of course." ""Lamestream" media." "Yes, of course." "I wish to inspire our young yes, of course." "I wish to inspire our young women to tend to their own i wish to inspire our young women to tend to their own gardens and remain pure until women to tend to their own gardens and remain pure until that time when they are truly" "gardens and remain pure until that time when they are truly ready for fertilization and the that time when they are truly ready for fertilization and the glory that awaits them in their ready for fertilization and the glory that awaits them in their marriage bed." "Glory that awaits them in their marriage bed." "[Applause]" "Marriage bed." "[Applause] [Indistinct conversations]" "[Clang!" "] Castidad, how could you be so clumsy?" "Castidad, how could you be so clumsy?" "Lo siento, señora." "Clumsy?" "Lo siento, señora." "Lo siento, lo sientoplease." "Lo siento, señora." "Lo siento, lo sientoplease." "Esta bien, mija." "Lo siento, lo sientoplease." "Esta bien, mija." "Sorry." "Esta bien, mija." "Sorry." "It's so hard to find mexicans sorry." "It's so hard to find mexicans who can do a job correctly." "It's so hard to find mexicans who can do a job correctly." "No offense, judy." "Who can do a job correctly." "No offense, judy." "Yeah." "None taken, love." "No offense, judy." "Yeah." "None taken, love." "Isn't that just disgusting?" "Yeah." "None taken, love." "Isn't that just disgusting?" "He divorces elly last year after isn't that just disgusting?" "He divorces elly last year after 25 years of faithful service to he divorces elly last year after 25 years of faithful service to marry that gold-digging, little 25 years of faithful service to marry that gold-digging, little home-wrecker." "Marry that gold-digging, little home-wrecker." "It's happening to so many of home-wrecker." "It's happening to so many of us now." "It's happening to so many of us now." "And the tramps just keep getting us now." "And the tramps just keep getting younger." "And the tramps just keep getting younger." "How the hell are we supposed younger." "How the hell are we supposed to compete against that at our how the hell are we supposed to compete against that at our age?" "To compete against that at our age?" "I mean, look at us." "Age?" "I mean, look at us." "Honestly, how do you do it?" "I mean, look at us." "Honestly, how do you do it?" "What do you mean?" "Honestly, how do you do it?" "What do you mean?" "You know, how do you stay so what do you mean?" "You know, how do you stay so young and hot?" "You know, how do you stay so young and hot?" "Hot." "Young and hot?" "Hot." "Exactly how old do you think hot." "Exactly how old do you think i am?" "Exactly how old do you think i am?" "Oh, come on." "I am?" "Oh, come on." "We're all friends here." "Oh, come on." "We're all friends here." "Your skin -- it's just amazing." "We're all friends here." "Your skin -- it's just amazing." "What's your secret?" "Your skin -- it's just amazing." "What's your secret?" "Well, in europe, I did have a what's your secret?" "Well, in europe, I did have a very particular beauty regimen." "Well, in europe, I did have a very particular beauty regimen." "But the products are rather very particular beauty regimen." "But the products are rather difficult to obtain here." "But the products are rather difficult to obtain here." "Goddamn fda." "Difficult to obtain here." "Goddamn fda." "Because with enough money, we goddamn fda." "Because with enough money, we can go around them, 'cause I because with enough money, we can go around them, 'cause I know people." "Can go around them, 'cause I know people." "Trust me." "Know people." "Trust me." "Absolutely." "Absolutely." "Trust me." "Absolutely." "Absolutely." "Is it injectable, or is it a absolutely." "Absolutely." "Is it injectable, or is it a peel, or " " I mean..." "Is it injectable, or is it a peel, or " " I mean..." "Tell us!" "Peel, or " " I mean..." "Tell us!" "Ladies, ladies, please." "Tell us!" "Ladies, ladies, please." "I'm more than happy to share my ladies, ladies, please." "I'm more than happy to share my secrets with you." "I'm more than happy to share my secrets with you." "Perhaps we can gather somewhere secrets with you." "Perhaps we can gather somewhere a little more private one night perhaps we can gather somewhere a little more private one night later in the week?" "A little more private one night later in the week?" "Just us girls?" "Later in the week?" "Just us girls?" "Oh, that sounds fabulous." "Just us girls?" "Oh, that sounds fabulous. [Laughs]" "Oh, that sounds fabulous." "[Laughs] Amazing." "[Laughs] Amazing." "[Glasses clink]" "♪ Yesterday's so far away ♪ I don't know what's true with you ♪" "♪ I don't know what's true with you ♪ [Conversing in spanish]" "You ♪ [Conversing in spanish] [Door opens]" "[Conversing in spanish] [Door opens] Hi." "Hey." "[Singing in spanish]" "[Gasps]" "[Indistinct conversations] What's all this about?" "I don't know." "What's all this about?" "I don't know." "Ashley, we would, like, never" "I don't know." "Ashley, we would, like, never question you, but we just don't ashley, we would, like, never question you, but we just don't get why you didn't call us this question you, but we just don't get why you didn't call us this morning to coordinate the new" "get why you didn't call us this morning to coordinate the new look." "Morning to coordinate the new look." "Do you see vogue in español look." "Do you see vogue in español here documenting your fashion do you see vogue in español here documenting your fashion choices?" "Here documenting your fashion choices?" "Just trust me." "Choices?" "Just trust me." "Girls." "Just trust me." "Girls." "I'll be filling you all in girls." "I'll be filling you all in soon enough." "I'll be filling you all in soon enough." "Girls, please, let's come to soon enough." "Girls, please, let's come to order." "Girls, please, let's come to order." "We have a speaker here today order." "We have a speaker here today arranged by jillian thorne, we have a speaker here today arranged by jillian thorne, president of the pta and the arranged by jillian thorne, president of the pta and the ccsg." "President of the pta and the ccsg." "She would like to speak to you ccsg." "She would like to speak to you about a very important issue." "She would like to speak to you about a very important issue." "So, please let's give our full about a very important issue." "So, please let's give our full ladylike attention and a warm so, please let's give our full ladylike attention and a warm san griento high school welcome ladylike attention and a warm san griento high school welcome to ms." "Liz batho." "San griento high school welcome to ms." "Liz batho. [Applause]" "To ms." "Liz batho." "[Applause] thank you." "[Applause] Thank you." "[Chuckles]" "Thank you." "[Chuckles] Good morning, ladies." "[Chuckles] Good morning, ladies." "As I look out at this room, it good morning, ladies." "As I look out at this room, it fills my heart with joy to see as I look out at this room, it fills my heart with joy to see so many beautiful young women, fills my heart with joy to see so many beautiful young women, your lives filled with promise." "So many beautiful young women, your lives filled with promise." "You're like rows of precious your lives filled with promise." "You're like rows of precious pink rosebuds that have not yet you're like rows of precious pink rosebuds that have not yet opened to reveal a lush swelling pink rosebuds that have not yet opened to reveal a lush swelling of potential that lies inside of" "opened to reveal a lush swelling of potential that lies inside of you." "Of potential that lies inside of you." "Now, I know you are all you." "Now, I know you are all extremely intelligent, and I'm now, I know you are all extremely intelligent, and I'm sure you know how to make smart extremely intelligent, and I'm sure you know how to make smart choices." "Sure you know how to make smart choices." "But we are all tempted at times choices." "But we are all tempted at times to do things that we know are but we are all tempted at times to do things that we know are not right because of peer to do things that we know are not right because of peer pressure or because we think it" "not right because of peer pressure or because we think it will make us more popular." "Pressure or because we think it will make us more popular." "One of the greatest temptations will make us more popular." "One of the greatest temptations for girls your age is..." "Sex." "One of the greatest temptations for girls your age is..." "Sex. [Girls giggling]" "For girls your age is..." "Sex." "[Girls giggling] [Scoffing] oh, shit." "[Girls giggling] [Scoffing] Oh, shit." "Here we go." "[Scoffing] Oh, shit." "Here we go." "Shh!" "Here we go." "Shh!" "Now, please understand, I do shh!" "Now, please understand, I do not have any hang-ups about sex." "Now, please understand, I do not have any hang-ups about sex." "Sex is a wonderful, pleasurable not have any hang-ups about sex." "Sex is a wonderful, pleasurable part of life that I wish for all sex is a wonderful, pleasurable part of life that I wish for all of you to fully enjoy..." "Someday." "Part of life that I wish for all of you to fully enjoy..." "Someday." "I wish to start a new chapter of of you to fully enjoy..." "Someday." "I wish to start a new chapter of my organization at your school, i wish to start a new chapter of my organization at your school, which empowers young women to my organization at your school, which empowers young women to respect themselves and their" "which empowers young women to respect themselves and their bodies." "Respect themselves and their bodies." "This elite sisterhood is called bodies." "This elite sisterhood is called the virginity action group." "This elite sisterhood is called the virginity action group." "Today I want to select a few of the virginity action group." "Today I want to select a few of you seniors who have today I want to select a few of you seniors who have consistently made good choices you seniors who have consistently made good choices to serve as chastity leaders in" "consistently made good choices to serve as chastity leaders in training." "To serve as chastity leaders in training." "And you will wear a special ring training." "And you will wear a special ring that will signify your and you will wear a special ring that will signify your leadership role." "That will signify your leadership role." "What kind of right-wing leadership role." "What kind of right-wing nutjob cult is this?" "What kind of right-wing nutjob cult is this?" "Shh!" "Quiet!" "Nutjob cult is this?" "Shh!" "Quiet!" "The only thing I ask is that shh!" "Quiet!" "The only thing I ask is that you sign this pledge..." "The only thing I ask is that you sign this pledge..." "Stating that you will not lose you sign this pledge..." "Stating that you will not lose your virginity while a student stating that you will not lose your virginity while a student at this school." "Your virginity while a student at this school." "See?" "At this school." "See?" "I knew there was a catch." "See?" "I knew there was a catch." "So, if you've already lost i knew there was a catch." "So, if you've already lost your virginity, I'm afraid you so, if you've already lost your virginity, I'm afraid you cannot be a chastity leader in your virginity, I'm afraid you cannot be a chastity leader in training." "Cannot be a chastity leader in training." "Hmm." "Training." "Hmm." "Right now, I need girls to lead hmm." "Right now, I need girls to lead us whose virtue is still intact." "Right now, I need girls to lead us whose virtue is still intact." "So, who will join me?" "Us whose virtue is still intact." "So, who will join me?" "Yeah, which is worse to so, who will join me?" "Yeah, which is worse to admit?" "Yeah, which is worse to admit?" "Being a virgin or being a slut?" "[Scoffs] Can you -- what the hell are you doing?" "What?" "We're virgins!" "What the hell are you doing?" "What?" "We're virgins!" "I've never even kissed a boy." "What?" "We're virgins!" "I've never even kissed a boy." "I don't care." "I've never even kissed a boy." "I don't care." "Keep your hand down." "I don't care." "Keep your hand down." "This whole thing is a neocon keep your hand down." "This whole thing is a neocon freak show." "This whole thing is a neocon freak show." "Ash, we never question what freak show." "Ash, we never question what you're doing, but what are you ash, we never question what you're doing, but what are you doing?" "You're doing, but what are you doing?" "I'm volunteering." "We all are." "Doing?" "I'm volunteering." "We all are." "Fuck that." "I'm volunteering." "We all are." "Fuck that." "What about our pact?" "Fuck that." "What about our pact?" "Get your hands up now." "What about our pact?" "Get your hands up now." "Told you we'll convo later." "Get your hands up now." "Told you we'll convo later." "Ah, yes." "Told you we'll convo later." "Ah, yes." "You pretty girls at the front." "Ah, yes." "You pretty girls at the front." "You already look like natural you pretty girls at the front." "You already look like natural leaders." "You already look like natural leaders." "Please, come forward." "Leaders." "Please, come forward." "What?" "!" "Please, come forward." "What?" "!" "Leah, quiet!" "What?" "!" "Leah, quiet!" "Are you absolutely sure leah, quiet!" "Are you absolutely sure they're all virgins?" "Are you absolutely sure they're all virgins?" "That's just the style these they're all virgins?" "That's just the style these kids wear." "That's just the style these kids wear." "Believe me." "Kids wear." "Believe me." "My daughter's their leader." "Believe me." "My daughter's their leader." "She knows everything about them, my daughter's their leader." "She knows everything about them, and they'll do anything she she knows everything about them, and they'll do anything she tells them to do." "And they'll do anything she tells them to do." "Wonderful." "Tells them to do." "Wonderful." "I look forward to getting to wonderful." "I look forward to getting to know all of you." "I look forward to getting to know all of you." "Please take a ring." "Know all of you." "Please take a ring." "That's right." "Yes." "Please take a ring." "That's right." "Yes." "Put it on that finger, like a that's right." "Yes." "Put it on that finger, like a wedding ring." "Put it on that finger, like a wedding ring." "It signifies a solemn vow." "Wedding ring." "It signifies a solemn vow." "Now, if you would please sign it signifies a solemn vow." "Now, if you would please sign the dossier stating that your now, if you would please sign the dossier stating that your intent is to stay chaste and the dossier stating that your intent is to stay chaste and pure..." "Intent is to stay chaste and pure..." "But they can't!" "Pure..." "But they can't!" "What about my story?" "But they can't!" "What about my story?" "Sign!" "What about my story?" "Sign!" "[Pen scratching]" "Sign!" "[Pen scratching] congratulations." "[Pen scratching] Congratulations." "You four are the inaugural congratulations." "You four are the inaugural chastity leaders for the you four are the inaugural chastity leaders for the san griento virginity action chastity leaders for the san griento virginity action group." "San griento virginity action group." "As I said, I invite you other group." "As I said, I invite you other girls to attend our meetings and as I said, I invite you other girls to attend our meetings and to learn by their example." "Girls to attend our meetings and to learn by their example." "All are welcome." "To learn by their example." "All are welcome. [Applause]" "Learn by their example?" "Who the hell are they kidding?" "And now I'm back to square one who the hell are they kidding?" "And now I'm back to square one with my story." "And now I'm back to square one with my story." "Oh, don't worry." "With my story." "Oh, don't worry." "You'll think of something great." "Oh, don't worry." "You'll think of something great." "You always do." "And what about you two?" "Will I be seeing you at our first meeting?" "Will I be seeing you at our first meeting?" "I-I-I'd like that." "First meeting?" "I-I-I'd like that." "We'll think about it." "I-I-I'd like that." "We'll think about it." "Hmm." "We'll think about it." "Hmm." "I do hope so." "Hmm." "I do hope so." "I don't get you sometimes." "I do hope so." "I don't get you sometimes." "Why do you have to be so" "I don't get you sometimes." "Why do you have to be so negative and pissy about why do you have to be so negative and pissy about everything?" "Negative and pissy about everything?" "I'm not negative and pissy everything?" "I'm not negative and pissy about everything." "I'm not negative and pissy about everything." "Just about things that are about everything." "Just about things that are utterly stupid or decidedly just about things that are utterly stupid or decidedly creepy, like clown art or utterly stupid or decidedly creepy, like clown art or lingerie models with wings or creepy, like clown art or lingerie models with wings or reading because oprah said to." "Lingerie models with wings or reading because oprah said to." "Oh, okay, okay, okay." "Reading because oprah said to." "Oh, okay, okay, okay." "And that's another thing." "Oh, okay, okay, okay." "And that's another thing." "Look, leah, just because we're and that's another thing." "Look, leah, just because we're friends and you think something look, leah, just because we're friends and you think something is stupid that -- well, that friends and you think something is stupid that -- well, that doesn't always mean I do." "Is stupid that -- well, that doesn't always mean I do." "Wait, you want to join that doesn't always mean I do." "Wait, you want to join that reactionary club of theirs?" "Wait, you want to join that reactionary club of theirs?" "I-I don't know." "Reactionary club of theirs?" "I-I don't know." "Maybe I'd " " I'd like to go and" "I-I don't know." "Maybe I'd " " I'd like to go and see for myself." "Maybe I'd " " I'd like to go and see for myself." "Really?" "See for myself." "Really?" "You didn't think there was really?" "You didn't think there was something spooky about that you didn't think there was something spooky about that woman?" "Something spooky about that woman?" "No." "She's foreign." "Woman?" "No." "She's foreign." "People are -- people are very no." "She's foreign." "People are -- people are very different in other countries." "People are -- people are very different in other countries." "They're -- they're more elegant different in other countries." "They're -- they're more elegant and cultured and stuff." "They're -- they're more elegant and cultured and stuff." "Yeah, I don't know." "And cultured and stuff." "Yeah, I don't know." "It wasn't that." "Yeah, I don't know." "It wasn't that." "I just felt like the way she it wasn't that." "I just felt like the way she looked at us was kind of i just felt like the way she looked at us was kind of lascivious." "Looked at us was kind of lascivious." "She did?" "Lascivious." "She did?" "I mean, uh..." "She did?" "I mean, uh..." "Who cares?" "I mean, uh..." "Who cares?" "Look, leah, see, this is exactly who cares?" "Look, leah, see, this is exactly what I'm talking about." "Look, leah, see, this is exactly what I'm talking about." "You -- you don't even know this what I'm talking about." "You -- you don't even know this woman, and you're already you -- you don't even know this woman, and you're already setting judgment on her." "Woman, and you're already setting judgment on her." "Look, you don't even give people setting judgment on her." "Look, you don't even give people a chance most of the time." "Look, you don't even give people a chance most of the time." "All right, you're not wrong a chance most of the time." "All right, you're not wrong about that." "All right, you're not wrong about that." "I guess -- [Sighs]" "About that." "I guess -- [Sighs] You know me." "I guess -- [Sighs] You know me." "I trust my instincts, and my you know me." "I trust my instincts, and my instincts are telling me that i trust my instincts, and my instincts are telling me that this whole thing is bad news." "Instincts are telling me that this whole thing is bad news." "Let's -- katharine, I worry this whole thing is bad news." "Let's -- katharine, I worry about you because you're my best let's -- katharine, I worry about you because you're my best friend." "About you because you're my best friend." "You're the nicest person in the friend." "You're the nicest person in the whole world, so I feel like " " I you're the nicest person in the whole world, so I feel like " " I don't know -- sometimes maybe whole world, so I feel like " " I don't know -- sometimes maybe you trust people a little too don't know -- sometimes maybe you trust people a little too easily." "You trust people a little too easily." "Leah, I'm not some little easily." "Leah, I'm not some little girl you have to protect all the leah, I'm not some little girl you have to protect all the time." "Girl you have to protect all the time." "You know what?" "You're right." "Time." "You know what?" "You're right." "I'm sorry." "You know what?" "You're right." "I'm sorry." "Let's just forget all about it, i'm sorry." "Let's just forget all about it, okay?" "Let's just forget all about it, okay?" "[Shivers]" "Okay?" "[Shivers] it's freezing in here, isn't it?" "[Shivers] It's freezing in here, isn't it?" "Hadn't really noticed." "It's freezing in here, isn't it?" "Hadn't really noticed. [Sighs]" "Hadn't really noticed." "[Sighs] ♪ do, do-do-do-do [sighs] ♪ do, do-do-do-do ♪ do-do, do-do-do-do" "♪ do, do-do-do-do ♪ do-do, do-do-do-do ♪ do-do, do-do-do-do" "♪ do-do, do-do-do-do ♪ do-do, do-do-do-do ♪ do-do" "♪ do-do, do-do-do-do ♪ do-do what the hell, ashley?" "♪ Do-do what the hell, ashley?" "First you was giving it up on what the hell, ashley?" "First you was giving it up on saturday." "First you was giving it up on saturday." "Now you cock-blocking with some saturday." "Now you cock-blocking with some virginity club?" "Now you cock-blocking with some virginity club?" "What's up with that?" "Virginity club?" "What's up with that?" "Baby, don't get it twisted." "What's up with that?" "Baby, don't get it twisted." "This is our chance to really do baby, don't get it twisted." "This is our chance to really do something for the school." "This is our chance to really do something for the school." "Bitch, please, stop fronting something for the school." "Bitch, please, stop fronting like you care about the school." "Bitch, please, stop fronting like you care about the school." "Maybe I do, fucktard!" "Like you care about the school." "Maybe I do, fucktard!" "You better come correct, or maybe I do, fucktard!" "You better come correct, or you'll be getting busy with you better come correct, or you'll be getting busy with señor mano for a year before you you'll be getting busy with señor mano for a year before you tap this sweet ass." "Señor mano for a year before you tap this sweet ass." "Dang!" "That's cold, man." "Tap this sweet ass." "Dang!" "That's cold, man." "Come on, now." "Dang!" "That's cold, man." "Come on, now." "Damn, girl." "Come on, now." "Damn, girl." "How you gonna put a brother on damn, girl." "How you gonna put a brother on blast like that in front of my how you gonna put a brother on blast like that in front of my boys, huh?" "Blast like that in front of my boys, huh?" "You know I don't mean no boys, huh?" "You know I don't mean no "disrespesee."" "You know I don't mean no "disrespesee." But I'm fitting to lose my mind" ""disrespesee." But I'm fitting to lose my mind right now 'cause we should be but I'm fitting to lose my mind right now 'cause we should be body to body." "Right now 'cause we should be body to body." "You know what I'm saying?" "Body to body." "You know what I'm saying?" "Please." "You know what I'm saying?" "Please." "Has mama ever left you hanging?" "Please." "Has mama ever left you hanging?" "Just got to chill for a minute." "Has mama ever left you hanging?" "Just got to chill for a minute." "I'll still be your backseat just got to chill for a minute." "I'll still be your backseat driver." "I'll still be your backseat driver." "Yeah!" "Driver." "Yeah!" "Okay." "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Okay." "Yeah!" "I got that ass on lock, okay." "Yeah!" "I got that ass on lock, y'all." "I got that ass on lock, y'all." "All right, shorty." "Y'all." "All right, shorty." "I'll run up on your later, all all right, shorty." "I'll run up on your later, all right?" "I'll run up on your later, all right?" "♪ The one that got away right?" "♪ The one that got away ♪ sex slaves" "♪ the one that got away ♪ sex slaves ♪ the rave at every party" "♪ sex slaves ♪ the rave at every party ♪ epitome of beauty" "♪ the rave at every party ♪ epitome of beauty ♪ down with phoebe" "♪ epitome of beauty ♪ down with phoebe ♪ for the love, it makes you" "♪ down with phoebe ♪ for the love, it makes you lost ♪" "♪ for the love, it makes you lost ♪ ♪ your identity, holy trinity lost ♪ ♪ your identity, holy trinity hey." "Let's roll." "♪ Your identity, holy trinity hey." "Let's roll. ♪ Do tell hey." "Let's roll." "♪ Do tell ♪ tumble down the wishing well" "♪ do tell ♪ tumble down the wishing well ♪ well, well" "♪ tumble down the wishing well ♪ well, well ice loves coco." "♪ Well, well ice loves coco." "I love you, too, baby." "Ice loves coco." "I love you, too, baby." "Catch 'em." "I love you, too, baby." "Catch 'em." "Bye, papi!" "Catch 'em." "Bye, papi!" "Mi amor, mama!" "Bye, papi!" "Mi amor, mama!" "Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi!" "Mi amor, mama!" "Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi!" "Ashley, I would never ay-yi-yi-yi-yi!" "Ashley, I would never question you, but you got to ashley, I would never question you, but you got to explain why we're doing this." "Question you, but you got to explain why we're doing this." "We're not doing this." "Explain why we're doing this." "We're not doing this." "Right?" "We're not doing this." "Right?" "I know it seems totally right?" "I know it seems totally whack, but check it." "I know it seems totally whack, but check it." "My mom's, like, best friends whack, but check it." "My mom's, like, best friends with liz now, and apparently she my mom's, like, best friends with liz now, and apparently she is hooked up." "With liz now, and apparently she is hooked up." "Who her baby daddy?" "Is hooked up." "Who her baby daddy?" "Not knocked up, dumb shit." "Who her baby daddy?" "Not knocked up, dumb shit." "She's, like, connected." "Not knocked up, dumb shit." "She's, like, connected." "Like, if we play along with she's, like, connected." "Like, if we play along with this, we could be starring in like, if we play along with this, we could be starring in our own reality show about this, we could be starring in our own reality show about v.A.G. For mtv." "Our own reality show about v.A.G. For mtv." "[Squeals]" "V.A.G. For mtv." "[Squeals] For reals?" "[Squeals] For reals?" "Like our very own for reals?" "Like our very own "jersey shore"!" "Like our very own "jersey shore"!" "Oh, my god." "Okay." ""Jersey shore"!" "Oh, my god." "Okay." "So, ashley's totally oh, my god." "Okay." "So, ashley's totally sammi "sweetheart," you're so, ashley's totally sammi "sweetheart," you're jwoww, you're snooki, and I'm sammi "sweetheart," you're jwoww, you're snooki, and I'm the blast, yo." "Jwoww, you're snooki, and I'm the blast, yo." "Why the fuck am I snooki?" "The blast, yo." "Why the fuck am I snooki?" "Listening ears, bitches." "Why the fuck am I snooki?" "Listening ears, bitches." "Y'all need to make sure your listening ears, bitches." "Y'all need to make sure your look is on point." "Y'all need to make sure your look is on point." "Think "slow down baby"" "look is on point." "Think "slow down baby" christina, not "dirrty" xtina." "Think "slow down baby" christina, not "dirrty" xtina." "As for the rest, just follow my christina, not "dirrty" xtina." "As for the rest, just follow my lead, as usual." "As for the rest, just follow my lead, as usual." "They want sweet, little virgins?" "Lead, as usual." "They want sweet, little virgins?" "Then that's how we roll." "They want sweet, little virgins?" "Then that's how we roll." "Now, just keep your mouth and then that's how we roll." "Now, just keep your mouth and legs shut until we're on the red now, just keep your mouth and legs shut until we're on the red carpet drinking that buzz." "Legs shut until we're on the red carpet drinking that buzz." "Yeah!" "Carpet drinking that buzz." "Yeah!" "Genius, ash." "Yeah!" "Genius, ash." "I totally never doubted you." "Genius, ash." "I totally never doubted you." "What do you want?" "I totally never doubted you." "What do you want?" "A fucking alma award?" "What do you want?" "A fucking alma award?" "[Scoffs] Let's go." "What you doing here, girlie?" "Uh..." "Nothing." "Just looking for my long-form uh..." "Nothing." "Just looking for my long-form birth certificate." "Just looking for my long-form birth certificate." "You seen it?" "Birth certificate." "You seen it?" "Right." "Got to go." "[Thunder rumbles] And, no, I didn't forget you." "Oh, yes." "Yes." "And, no, I didn't forget you." "Oh, yes." "Yes. [Cats meowing]" "Oh, yes." "Yes. [Cats meowing] Oh, you're so beautiful." "[Cats meowing] Oh, you're so beautiful." "Now, now, mrs." "Danvers, you stop oh, you're so beautiful." "Now, now, mrs." "Danvers, you stop terrorizing mrs." "De winter." "Now, now, mrs." "Danvers, you stop terrorizing mrs." "De winter." "Honestly, can't we all just get terrorizing mrs." "De winter." "Honestly, can't we all just get along?" "Honestly, can't we all just get along?" "[Chuckles]" "Along?" "[Chuckles] Oh!" "[Chuckles] Oh!" "Mwah, mwah!" "Oh!" "Mwah, mwah!" "[Doorbell rings]" "Mwah, mwah!" "[Doorbell rings] What -- [doorbell rings] What -- [Thunder rumbling]" "Oh." "Hello." "I didn't expect to see you tonight." "I didn't expect to see you tonight." "I'm so embarrassed." "Tonight." "I'm so embarrassed." "I would have tidied up a bit had" "I'm so embarrassed." "I would have tidied up a bit had I known." "I would have tidied up a bit had I known." "Girls, behave yourselves." "I known." "Girls, behave yourselves." "Don't mind them." "Girls, behave yourselves." "Don't mind them. [Chuckles]" "Don't mind them." "[Chuckles] Just, um, make yourself [chuckles] Just, um, make yourself comfortable." "Just, um, make yourself comfortable." "Would you like something to comfortable." "Would you like something to drink?" "Would you like something to drink?" "Coffee?" "Tea?" "Me?" "Drink?" "Coffee?" "Tea?" "Me?" "[Laughs]" "Coffee?" "Tea?" "Me?" "[Laughs] All right, then." "[Laughs] All right, then." "Down to business." "All right, then." "Down to business. [Sighs]" "Down to business." "[Sighs] There's this paperwork from the [sighs] There's this paperwork from the school board." "There's this paperwork from the school board." "Um..." "I knew..." "Somehow..." "From the minute I saw you, I somehow..." "From the minute I saw you, I knew there was something between from the minute I saw you, I knew there was something between us." "Knew there was something between us." "This is what I've been hoping us." "This is what I've been hoping and waiting for all these years." "This is what I've been hoping and waiting for all these years." "Take me." "And waiting for all these years." "Take me. [Moaning] Take me." "Take me." "[Moaning] Take me." "Oh!" "[Moaning] Take me." "Oh!" "Oh, what are you doing?" "Oh!" "Oh, what are you doing?" "[Chuckles]" "Oh, what are you doing?" "[Chuckles] No!" "Oh!" "[Chuckles] No!" "Oh!" "No!" "Oh!" "God!" "No!" "Oh!" "No!" "Oh!" "God!" "[Screams]" "No!" "Oh!" "God!" "[Screams] [Cat screeches]" "[Screams] [Cat screeches] [Cat meows]" "[Cat screeches] [Cat meows] [Choking]" "[Thunder crashes] At least stripper chic seems to be over." "At least stripper chic seems to be over." "Goodbye, hiltons." "Hello, palins?" "To be over." "Goodbye, hiltons." "Hello, palins?" "Told you that club was part of goodbye, hiltons." "Hello, palins?" "Told you that club was part of some jesus-freak conspiracy." "Told you that club was part of some jesus-freak conspiracy." "Heads up, comrade." "Some jesus-freak conspiracy." "Heads up, comrade." "Sorry about that!" "Heads up, comrade." "Sorry about that!" "[Chuckles]" "Sorry about that!" "[Chuckles] Yeah." "[Chuckles] Yeah." "Nice t-shirt." "Yeah." "Nice t-shirt." "Oh, uh, thanks." "Nice t-shirt." "Oh, uh, thanks." "You know, it's really funny." "Oh, uh, thanks." "You know, it's really funny." "Leah is really into you know, it's really funny." "Leah is really into revolutionary politics, too." "Leah is really into revolutionary politics, too." "Wow." "Cool." "Revolutionary politics, too." "Wow." "Cool." "Mm-hmm." "Wow." "Cool." "Mm-hmm." "You know, I bet you two would mm-hmm." "You know, I bet you two would have a lot to talk about." "You know, I bet you two would have a lot to talk about." "Yeah, unfortunately, I'm more have a lot to talk about." "Yeah, unfortunately, I'm more of a simone de beauvoir girl yeah, unfortunately, I'm more of a simone de beauvoir girl myself, so..." "Of a simone de beauvoir girl myself, so... "The word love has by no myself, so... "The word love has by no means the same sense for both" ""the word love has by no means the same sense for both sexes, and this is just one means the same sense for both sexes, and this is just one cause for the serious sexes, and this is just one cause for the serious misunderstandings that divide" "cause for the serious misunderstandings that divide them."" "Misunderstandings that divide them." You've read "the second sex"?" "Them." You've read "the second sex"?" "Yeah, it's incredible." "You've read "the second sex"?" "Yeah, it's incredible." "And her protofeminist doctrine yeah, it's incredible." "And her protofeminist doctrine was so ahead of its time, you and her protofeminist doctrine was so ahead of its time, you know?" "Was so ahead of its time, you know?" "And her, um, existential know?" "And her, um, existential writing, like the -- and her, um, existential writing, like the -- "the ethics of ambiguity."" "Writing, like the -- "the ethics of ambiguity." We're just slapped in the face" ""the ethics of ambiguity." We're just slapped in the face with the absurdity of our own we're just slapped in the face with the absurdity of our own existence." "With the absurdity of our own existence." "I mean, that book, like, existence." "I mean, that book, like, literally changed my life." "I mean, that book, like, literally changed my life." "Huh." "Literally changed my life." "Huh." "Maybe we should discuss that huh." "Maybe we should discuss that sometime." "Maybe we should discuss that sometime." "[Giggles] Bye!" "Sometime." "[Giggles] Bye!" "See?" "[Giggles] Bye!" "See?" "He's cool and smart, and he's see?" "He's cool and smart, and he's kind of cute, don't you think?" "He's cool and smart, and he's kind of cute, don't you think?" "I see what you're doing, and kind of cute, don't you think?" "I see what you're doing, and I'm not falling for it." "I see what you're doing, and I'm not falling for it." "What?" "I'm " " I'm just giving" "I'm not falling for it." "What?" "I'm " " I'm just giving things a little push." "What?" "I'm " " I'm just giving things a little push." "Kath, I need a push like a things a little push." "Kath, I need a push like a fish needs a prius." "Kath, I need a push like a fish needs a prius." "Ba-dum!" "Fish needs a prius." "Ba-dum!" "Ching!" "Ba-dum!" "Ching!" "Uh, listen, I think I forgot ching!" "Uh, listen, I think I forgot something in the library, so I uh, listen, I think I forgot something in the library, so I got to go, okay?" "Something in the library, so I got to go, okay?" "Yeah, I got to go back to the got to go, okay?" "Yeah, I got to go back to the journalism room." "Yeah, I got to go back to the journalism room." "Later, old buddy, old pal." "Journalism room." "Later, old buddy, old pal." "Bye." "Later, old buddy, old pal." "Bye." "Okay, chicas, let's come to bye." "Okay, chicas, let's come to order so we can get started." "Okay, chicas, let's come to order so we can get started." "Liz, you have the floor." "Order so we can get started." "Liz, you have the floor." "Thank you, ashley, and our liz, you have the floor." "Thank you, ashley, and our other chastity leaders." "Thank you, ashley, and our other chastity leaders." "And welcome, all of you." "Other chastity leaders." "And welcome, all of you." "It's wonderful to have so many and welcome, all of you." "It's wonderful to have so many of you here today making a it's wonderful to have so many of you here today making a commitment to your virtue." "Of you here today making a commitment to your virtue." "You can be completely open to commitment to your virtue." "You can be completely open to talk about any topic you wish to you can be completely open to talk about any topic you wish to discuss during our meetings." "Talk about any topic you wish to discuss during our meetings." "Whatever is said in this room discuss during our meetings." "Whatever is said in this room stays in this room." "Whatever is said in this room stays in this room." "Cool." "Stays in this room." "Cool." "It's just like vegas." "Cool." "It's just like vegas." "Oh, hello." "It's just like vegas." "Oh, hello." "I remember you from the oh, hello." "I remember you from the auditorium, yes?" "I remember you from the auditorium, yes?" "Yes, of course." "Auditorium, yes?" "Yes, of course." "I'm delighted you could join us." "Yes, of course." "I'm delighted you could join us." "Please." "Sit." "I'm delighted you could join us." "Please." "Sit. [Clears throat]" "Please." "Sit." "[Clears throat] [Chuckles]" "[Clears throat] [Chuckles] Now we may begin in earnest." "[Chuckles] Now we may begin in earnest." "Who would like to start?" "Now we may begin in earnest." "Who would like to start?" "No one has a question or a story who would like to start?" "No one has a question or a story they'd like to share?" "No one has a question or a story they'd like to share?" "Some temptation they may have they'd like to share?" "Some temptation they may have faced recently?" "Some temptation they may have faced recently?" "Oh, very well." "Faced recently?" "Oh, very well." "If you're all going to be shy, I oh, very well." "If you're all going to be shy, I shall begin." "If you're all going to be shy, I shall begin." "This story takes place in france shall begin." "This story takes place in france when I was about your age." "This story takes place in france when I was about your age." "At a dance, I ran into a young when I was about your age." "At a dance, I ran into a young man whom I'd met on holiday the at a dance, I ran into a young man whom I'd met on holiday the summer before." "Man whom I'd met on holiday the summer before." "He was devastatingly handsome, summer before." "He was devastatingly handsome, very mature for a boy of 20, and he was devastatingly handsome, very mature for a boy of 20, and he had, let's just say, a way very mature for a boy of 20, and he had, let's just say, a way with words that made him very" "he had, let's just say, a way with words that made him very difficult to resist." "With words that made him very difficult to resist." "[Classical music playing]" "[Applause] And that, my dears, is how I managed to resist his advances and that, my dears, is how I managed to resist his advances that magical night." "Managed to resist his advances that magical night." "But had I been older and had we that magical night." "But had I been older and had we been betrothed, it could have but had I been older and had we been betrothed, it could have been the perfect night for been betrothed, it could have been the perfect night for making love under the parisian" "been the perfect night for making love under the parisian moon." "Making love under the parisian moon." "But as it was, we were too young moon." "But as it was, we were too young to make that sort of lifelong but as it was, we were too young to make that sort of lifelong commitment." "To make that sort of lifelong commitment." "Right." "Commitment." "Right." "He could have totally used her right." "He could have totally used her and been like, "see ya," the he could have totally used her and been like, "see ya," the next morning." "And been like, "see ya," the next morning." "Then she would have felt like a next morning." "Then she would have felt like a total skeetch." "Then she would have felt like a total skeetch." "Precisely." "Total skeetch." "Precisely." "Thank you, ashley, for precisely." "Thank you, ashley, for rephrasing that so we could all thank you, ashley, for rephrasing that so we could all understand." "Rephrasing that so we could all understand." "Anybody else?" "Understand." "Anybody else?" "Um, I have a question." "Anybody else?" "Um, I have a question." "Yes." "Kelly, go ahead." "Um, I have a question." "Yes." "Kelly, go ahead." "Okay, so, what if you do love yes." "Kelly, go ahead." "Okay, so, what if you do love him and he loves you, too, and okay, so, what if you do love him and he loves you, too, and you both want to do it, like, him and he loves you, too, and you both want to do it, like, really bad?" "You both want to do it, like, really bad?" "You're trying to wait, but he really bad?" "You're trying to wait, but he says that it hurts him, and he you're trying to wait, but he says that it hurts him, and he says that waiting any longer says that it hurts him, and he says that waiting any longer could do permanent damage..." "Says that waiting any longer could do permanent damage..." "Down there?" "Could do permanent damage..." "Down there?" "And if that would have happened, down there?" "And if that would have happened, it would be totally all your and if that would have happened, it would be totally all your fault, especially when you both it would be totally all your fault, especially when you both want to do it, like, so bad." "Fault, especially when you both want to do it, like, so bad." "Uh, I think what kelly, one want to do it, like, so bad." "Uh, I think what kelly, one of our chastity leaders, is uh, I think what kelly, one of our chastity leaders, is saying is, what if one of the of our chastity leaders, is saying is, what if one of the other girls is thinking that but" "saying is, what if one of the other girls is thinking that but is too shy to ask, you know?" "Other girls is thinking that but is too shy to ask, you know?" "Role-playing." "Is too shy to ask, you know?" "Role-playing." "Right, kelly?" "Role-playing." "Right, kelly?" "Yeah, that was totally what I right, kelly?" "Yeah, that was totally what I was doing." "Yeah, that was totally what I was doing." "Like a hippo-theoretical was doing." "Like a hippo-theoretical situation." "Like a hippo-theoretical situation." "Thank you, kelly." "Situation." "Thank you, kelly." "And in that spirit, perhaps one thank you, kelly." "And in that spirit, perhaps one of your peers would like to and in that spirit, perhaps one of your peers would like to answer." "Of your peers would like to answer." "Yes, noemi." "Answer." "Yes, noemi." "I would never put anyone else yes, noemi." "I would never put anyone else down for their choice, but I" "I would never put anyone else down for their choice, but I think if I ever felt that down for their choice, but I think if I ever felt that tempted, I would just get down think if I ever felt that tempted, I would just get down on my knees and pray to god " "tempted, I would just get down on my knees and pray to god -- [Deep voice] No!" "On my knees and pray to god -- [Deep voice] No!" "[Thunder crashes]" "[Deep voice] No!" "[Thunder crashes] You must never mention his name [thunder crashes] You must never mention his name in here." "You must never mention his name in here." "[Normal voice] Hmm." "In here. [Normal voice] Hmm." "You see, my dear, um, we could [normal voice] Hmm." "You see, my dear, um, we could get into a lot of trouble for you see, my dear, um, we could get into a lot of trouble for having that sort of talk in a get into a lot of trouble for having that sort of talk in a public school, yes?" "Having that sort of talk in a public school, yes?" "Well, I think that's enough for public school, yes?" "Well, I think that's enough for today." "Well, I think that's enough for today." "See you all next time." "Today." "See you all next time." "Coffee?" "See you all next time." "Coffee?" "Yeah, let's do it." "Coffee?" "Yeah, let's do it." "Totes dragging." "Yeah, let's do it." "Totes dragging." "I know." "Totes dragging." "I know." "You there." "I know." "You there." "Me?" "You there." "Me?" "Yes." "You." "Me?" "Yes." "You." "What was your name again?" "Yes." "You." "What was your name again?" "K-katharine." "What was your name again?" "K-katharine." "Ah." "Katharine." "K-katharine." "Ah." "Katharine." "So many brave and beautiful ah." "Katharine." "So many brave and beautiful queens have shared that name, so many brave and beautiful queens have shared that name, you know." "Queens have shared that name, you know." "Hmm." "You know." "Hmm." "I see you like flowers." "Hmm." "I see you like flowers." "Uh-huh." "I see you like flowers." "Uh-huh." "You must be quite the uh-huh." "You must be quite the naturalist, my dear." "You must be quite the naturalist, my dear." "It's a wonderful thing for a naturalist, my dear." "It's a wonderful thing for a young woman to respect wildlife it's a wonderful thing for a young woman to respect wildlife in all its glory." "Young woman to respect wildlife in all its glory." "Tell me, katharine, queen of the in all its glory." "Tell me, katharine, queen of the daisies, have you kept your tell me, katharine, queen of the daisies, have you kept your virtue intact?" "Daisies, have you kept your virtue intact?" "Yes." "Virtue intact?" "Yes." "Hmm." "Good." "Yes." "Hmm." "Good." "When the time is right, your hmm." "Good." "When the time is right, your blossom will be plucked by when the time is right, your blossom will be plucked by someone who sees your true blossom will be plucked by someone who sees your true beauty." "Someone who sees your true beauty." "Until then, I trust I will see beauty." "Until then, I trust I will see you at our next meeting." "Until then, I trust I will see you at our next meeting." "Hmm." "[Exhales sharply]" "Oh, hello." "You're katharine's little friend, yes?" "You're katharine's little friend, yes?" "What was your name again?" "Friend, yes?" "What was your name again?" "Leah." "What was your name again?" "Leah." "Ah, yes." "Leah." "Leah." "Ah, yes." "Leah." "Why did you not join us for our ah, yes." "Leah." "Why did you not join us for our meeting?" "Why did you not join us for our meeting?" "Uh, I don't need a club to meeting?" "Uh, I don't need a club to teach me how to respect myself." "Uh, I don't need a club to teach me how to respect myself." "Aren't you tough as nails." "Teach me how to respect myself." "Aren't you tough as nails." "Well, good for you." "Aren't you tough as nails." "Well, good for you." "We could all use more headstrong well, good for you." "We could all use more headstrong young women like yourself." "We could all use more headstrong young women like yourself. [Scoffs]" "Young women like yourself." "[Scoffs] Never been much of a joiner, I [scoffs] Never been much of a joiner, I guess." "Never been much of a joiner, I guess." "Not really the sorority type, if guess." "Not really the sorority type, if you know what I mean." "Not really the sorority type, if you know what I mean." "Well, sisterhood can be very you know what I mean." "Well, sisterhood can be very powerful, my dear." "Well, sisterhood can be very powerful, my dear." "Don't knock it till you've tried powerful, my dear." "Don't knock it till you've tried it." "Don't knock it till you've tried it." "[Scoffs]" "It." "[Scoffs] Don't you like me, leah?" "[Scoffs] Don't you like me, leah?" "I'm not used to people not don't you like me, leah?" "I'm not used to people not liking me." "I'm not used to people not liking me." "I don't know you well enough liking me." "I don't know you well enough to feel anything one way or the" "I don't know you well enough to feel anything one way or the other." "To feel anything one way or the other." "Are you sure?" "Other." "Are you sure?" "'Cause you look very familiar to are you sure?" "'Cause you look very familiar to me." "'Cause you look very familiar to me." "Something about the eyes, but I me." "Something about the eyes, but I can't..." "Something about the eyes, but I can't..." "Katharine." "Can't..." "Katharine." "I was just telling your dear katharine." "I was just telling your dear friend leah how she really ought" "I was just telling your dear friend leah how she really ought to join us for our next meeting." "Friend leah how she really ought to join us for our next meeting." "Perhaps you can change her mind, to join us for our next meeting." "Perhaps you can change her mind, hmm?" "Perhaps you can change her mind, hmm?" "You little sneak!" "Hmm?" "You little sneak!" "What?" "!" "You little sneak!" "What?" "!" "You totally went to that what?" "!" "You totally went to that meeting." "You totally went to that meeting." "So?" "What?" "!" "Meeting." "So?" "What?" "!" "You know what." "So?" "What?" "!" "You know what." "What happened?" "Was it stupid?" "You know what." "What happened?" "Was it stupid?" "Details, please." "What happened?" "Was it stupid?" "Details, please." "No, it wasn't stupid." "Details, please." "No, it wasn't stupid." "Look, I'm not gonna sit here and no, it wasn't stupid." "Look, I'm not gonna sit here and tell you if you're just gonna look, I'm not gonna sit here and tell you if you're just gonna make fun of it." "Tell you if you're just gonna make fun of it." "Plus anything we say in there is make fun of it." "Plus anything we say in there is supposed to be confidential." "Plus anything we say in there is supposed to be confidential. [Scoffs]" "Supposed to be confidential." "[Scoffs] Confidential from me?" "[Scoffs] Confidential from me?" "From everyone." "Confidential from me?" "From everyone." "Leah, come on." "I promised." "From everyone." "Leah, come on." "I promised." "Well, what is it?" "Leah, come on." "I promised." "Well, what is it?" "Like, a.A. For recovering well, what is it?" "Like, a.A. For recovering hussies led by a slightly better like, a.A. For recovering hussies led by a slightly better dressed dr." "Laura?" "Hussies led by a slightly better dressed dr." "Laura?" "You know what?" "Dressed dr." "Laura?" "You know what?" "She's really cool." "You know what?" "She's really cool." "I mean, you definitely misjudge she's really cool." "I mean, you definitely misjudge her based on some weird first" "I mean, you definitely misjudge her based on some weird first impression." "Her based on some weird first impression." "I mean, she's very elegant and impression." "I mean, she's very elegant and smart and interesting." "I mean, she's very elegant and smart and interesting." "Hmm." "Smart and interesting." "Hmm." "So, is she gonna be your new hmm." "So, is she gonna be your new best friend you tell all your so, is she gonna be your new best friend you tell all your secrets to now?" "Best friend you tell all your secrets to now?" "Leah, come on." "Secrets to now?" "Leah, come on." "Well, if you're so in love leah, come on." "Well, if you're so in love with her -- well, if you're so in love with her " " I didn't say that!" "With her " " I didn't say that!" "Uh..." "I didn't say that!" "Uh..." "Sorry." "Uh..." "Sorry." "Didn't mean to act like such a sorry." "Didn't mean to act like such a bitch." "Didn't mean to act like such a bitch." "It -- it's okay." "Bitch." "It -- it's okay." "I mean, even best friends it -- it's okay." "I mean, even best friends disagree sometimes, right?" "I mean, even best friends disagree sometimes, right?" "Right." "Um, I've got to go back to the journalism room to finish up a layout, so I'll see you journalism room to finish up a layout, so I'll see you tomorrow?" "Layout, so I'll see you tomorrow?" "Okay." "Tomorrow?" "Okay." "You got it, old buddy, old pal." "Good evening." "I bid you welcome to my humble home." "I bid you welcome to my humble home." "So, who would like to try some home." "So, who would like to try some of my delicious beauty products?" "So, who would like to try some of my delicious beauty products?" "Whoa, whoa!" "Me, me, me!" "Of my delicious beauty products?" "Whoa, whoa!" "Me, me, me!" "[Chuckles]" "Whoa, whoa!" "Me, me, me!" "[Chuckles] Now, I must warn you, this [chuckles] Now, I must warn you, this treatment I'm about to share now, I must warn you, this treatment I'm about to share with you is not exactly legal in" "treatment I'm about to share with you is not exactly legal in this country." "With you is not exactly legal in this country." "I could get into trouble for this country." "I could get into trouble for procuring it, so I must be able" "I could get into trouble for procuring it, so I must be able to count on your absolute procuring it, so I must be able to count on your absolute discretion that you will never to count on your absolute discretion that you will never tell another living soul about" "discretion that you will never tell another living soul about this." "Tell another living soul about this." "We swear." "This." "We swear." "It stays within this group." "We swear." "It stays within this group." "Yeah." "It stays within this group." "Yeah." "Good." "Yeah." "Good." "Now, take out your mirrors and good." "Now, take out your mirrors and prepare to be amazed." "Now, take out your mirrors and prepare to be amazed." "[Fingers snap]" "Prepare to be amazed. [Fingers snap] Now, please do not be put off by [fingers snap] Now, please do not be put off by the look or smell of it." "Now, please do not be put off by the look or smell of it." "It can be a little strange at the look or smell of it." "It can be a little strange at first." "It can be a little strange at first." "Just take a little on your first." "Just take a little on your finger." "Just take a little on your finger." "Dab it on your most hated finger." "Dab it on your most hated wrinkle, gently massaging it in." "Dab it on your most hated wrinkle, gently massaging it in." "Ooh, it does smell a little wrinkle, gently massaging it in." "Ooh, it does smell a little funky." "Ooh, it does smell a little funky." "It looks a little bit like funky." "It looks a little bit like blood." "It looks a little bit like blood." "Yes." "Blood." "Yes." "Rub it into those foul lines and yes." "Rub it into those foul lines and watch them disappear." "Rub it into those foul lines and watch them disappear." "Oh." "Oh." "Watch them disappear." "Oh." "Oh." "Oh!" "Oh." "Oh." "Oh!" "Oh." "Oh!" "Oh." "[Sighing]" "Oh." "[Sighing] It's working." "[Sighing] It's working." "Oh, my god." "It's working." "Oh, my god." "It's already working!" "Oh, my god." "It's already working!" "I've never seen anything like it's already working!" "I've never seen anything like this before." "I've never seen anything like this before." "This is better than juvéderm." "This before." "This is better than juvéderm." "Way better!" "This is better than juvéderm." "Way better!" "And the ingredients are all way better!" "And the ingredients are all natural." "And the ingredients are all natural." "This is incredible!" "Natural." "This is incredible!" "Will this work on my ass, this is incredible!" "Will this work on my ass, too?" "Will this work on my ass, too?" "We have to get more of this." "Too?" "We have to get more of this." "Liz, please, I don't care if we have to get more of this." "Liz, please, I don't care if it's illegal." "Liz, please, I don't care if it's illegal." "How can we help you?" "It's illegal." "How can we help you?" "Oh, believe me, my darlings, how can we help you?" "Oh, believe me, my darlings, you already have." "Oh, believe me, my darlings, you already have." "Hmm." "You already have." "Hmm. [All gasping]" "Hmm." "[All gasping] [Thunder crashes]" "[All gasping] [Thunder crashes] Hey, kath!" "[Thunder crashes] Hey, kath!" "Uh, are you going to v.A.G." "Hey, kath!" "Uh, are you going to v.A.G. Today?" "Uh, are you going to v.A.G. Today?" "Yeah." "Why?" "Today?" "Yeah." "Why?" "I just figured I could come yeah." "Why?" "I just figured I could come with you." "I just figured I could come with you." "I mean, you're right." "With you." "I mean, you're right." "I don't know anything about it," "I mean, you're right." "I don't know anything about it, and so I don't have a right to" "I don't know anything about it, and so I don't have a right to judge it until I see for myself." "And so I don't have a right to judge it until I see for myself." "This must be a scene from judge it until I see for myself." "This must be a scene from "invasion of the body this must be a scene from "invasion of the body snatchers."" ""Invasion of the body snatchers." What planet are you from, and snatchers." What planet are you from, and where are you keeping my friend what planet are you from, and where are you keeping my friend leah?" "Where are you keeping my friend leah?" "Oh, come on." "Leah?" "Oh, come on." "I'm just trying to be less oh, come on." "I'm just trying to be less "negative and pissy" or" "I'm just trying to be less "negative and pissy" or whatever." ""Negative and pissy" or whatever." "Mm-hmm." "Sure you are." "Whatever." "Mm-hmm." "Sure you are." "Okay." "So, what's the angle?" "Mm-hmm." "Sure you are." "Okay." "So, what's the angle?" "Another exposé about how this okay." "So, what's the angle?" "Another exposé about how this club is a direct result of the another exposé about how this club is a direct result of the bush doctrine that still club is a direct result of the bush doctrine that still continues to haunt us or a" "bush doctrine that still continues to haunt us or a manifesto about how women with a continues to haunt us or a manifesto about how women with a "y" are still enslaved by a manifesto about how women with a "y" are still enslaved by a madonna whore complex?" ""Y" are still enslaved by a madonna whore complex?" "Wow, I couldn't have put it madonna whore complex?" "Wow, I couldn't have put it better myself." "Wow, I couldn't have put it better myself." "Mm-hmm." "Better myself." "Mm-hmm." "Oh, katharine, please just mm-hmm." "Oh, katharine, please just let me come with you." "Oh, katharine, please just let me come with you." "Honestly, I really just want to let me come with you." "Honestly, I really just want to see it for myself before I pass honestly, I really just want to see it for myself before I pass judgment -- for once." "See it for myself before I pass judgment -- for once." "[Sighs] Okay." "Judgment -- for once. [Sighs] Okay." "But you have to promise not to [sighs] Okay." "But you have to promise not to cause any trouble." "But you have to promise not to cause any trouble." "And please don't be a smartass cause any trouble." "And please don't be a smartass if you hate it." "And please don't be a smartass if you hate it." "Promise I'll be good." "If you hate it." "Promise I'll be good." "Okay." "Promise I'll be good." "Okay." "Oh, no." "Okay." "Oh, no." "Shit." "Oh, no." "Shit." "Guess you're just gonna have shit." "Guess you're just gonna have to check out the club another guess you're just gonna have to check out the club another time." "To check out the club another time." "But, hey, listen, um, I have to time." "But, hey, listen, um, I have to go, so I'll just " " I'll just but, hey, listen, um, I have to go, so I'll just " " I'll just see you tomorrow." "Go, so I'll just " " I'll just see you tomorrow." "Katharine, wh-- see you tomorrow." "Katharine, wh-- where are you going?" "[Thunder rumbles] Wow." "[Breathes deeply]" "What you looking for, girlie?" "[Screams] [European accent] Don't you [screams] [European accent] Don't you have anything better to do than [european accent] Don't you have anything better to do than scaring people?" "Have anything better to do than scaring people?" "Get back to work!" "Scaring people?" "Get back to work!" "I'm sorry he frightened you." "Get back to work!" "I'm sorry he frightened you." "Oh, did you bring this lovely" "I'm sorry he frightened you." "Oh, did you bring this lovely basket for the -- liz?" "Oh, did you bring this lovely basket for the -- liz?" "Oh, I heard she was sick." "Basket for the -- liz?" "Oh, I heard she was sick." "But I-I don't want to be any oh, I heard she was sick." "But I-I don't want to be any bother." "But I-I don't want to be any bother." "Oh, no." "No trouble at all." "Bother." "Oh, no." "No trouble at all." "Your name is katharine, yes?" "Oh, no." "No trouble at all." "Your name is katharine, yes?" "[Stammers]" "Your name is katharine, yes?" "[Stammers] How did you know that?" "[Stammers] How did you know that?" "She mentioned you." "How did you know that?" "She mentioned you." "She said we might expect you." "She mentioned you." "She said we might expect you." "Come in." "I'll go put these in some water." "Wait here. [Door closes]" "Katharine, queen of the daisies." "What a nice surprise." "Daisies." "What a nice surprise." "My niece told me you were here." "What a nice surprise." "My niece told me you were here." "Thank you for the lovely gift my niece told me you were here." "Thank you for the lovely gift basket." "Thank you for the lovely gift basket." "It was very thoughtful of you." "Basket." "It was very thoughtful of you." "I noticed you admiring my it was very thoughtful of you." "I noticed you admiring my portrait." "I noticed you admiring my portrait." "It's quite a good likeness, portrait." "It's quite a good likeness, isn't it?" "It's quite a good likeness, isn't it?" "It was painted in italy many isn't it?" "It was painted in italy many years ago." "It was painted in italy many years ago." "[Chuckles]" "Years ago." "[Chuckles] It can't be so long ago." "[Chuckles] It can't be so long ago." "You're -- you're just as it can't be so long ago." "You're -- you're just as beautiful now." "You're -- you're just as beautiful now." "You're too kind, my child." "Beautiful now." "You're too kind, my child." "Why do you do this face you're too kind, my child." "Why do you do this face painting, my dear?" "Why do you do this face painting, my dear?" "Is it to hide the acne you painting, my dear?" "Is it to hide the acne you suffer from?" "Is it to hide the acne you suffer from?" "Oh, my sweet girl." "Suffer from?" "Oh, my sweet girl." "There's nothing to be ashamed oh, my sweet girl." "There's nothing to be ashamed of." "There's nothing to be ashamed of." "It's very natural at your age, of." "It's very natural at your age, when a girl transitions to it's very natural at your age, when a girl transitions to womanhood." "When a girl transitions to womanhood." "Why don't you let me give you a womanhood." "Why don't you let me give you a little makeover, yes?" "Why don't you let me give you a little makeover, yes?" "I've just the thing to clear little makeover, yes?" "I've just the thing to clear that up." "I've just the thing to clear that up." "Really?" "That up." "Really?" "Mm-hmm." "Really?" "Mm-hmm." "But you have to promise me it mm-hmm." "But you have to promise me it will be just between us." "But you have to promise me it will be just between us." "I can't have every girl at your will be just between us." "I can't have every girl at your school running over here for a" "I can't have every girl at your school running over here for a facial, now, can I?" "School running over here for a facial, now, can I?" "I-I won't tell anyone." "Facial, now, can I?" "I-I won't tell anyone." "I promise." "I-I won't tell anyone." "I promise." "Not even your best friend?" "I promise." "Not even your best friend?" "What's her name?" "Not even your best friend?" "What's her name?" "Leah?" "What's her name?" "Leah?" "Yes." "Not even leah." "Leah?" "Yes." "Not even leah." "Oh, but we can trust her." "Yes." "Not even leah." "Oh, but we can trust her." "It is so important to me that oh, but we can trust her." "It is so important to me that this be our little secret." "It is so important to me that this be our little secret." "I-I-I-I promise." "This be our little secret." "I-I-I-I promise." "Good." "I-I-I-I promise." "Good." "Then hold still." "There, there." "All better." "See?" "[Gasps]" "See?" "[Gasps] [Gasps]" "Thank you for coming to check on me today." "Please don't be a stranger." "On me today." "Please don't be a stranger." "You're welcome here anytime." "Please don't be a stranger." "You're welcome here anytime." "Ilona will see you out." "Baffled police are searchig for leads tonight in three missing-person cases." "For leads tonight in three missing-person cases." "Just days after the missing-person cases." "Just days after the disappearance of our lady of just days after the disappearance of our lady of the weeping virgin student disappearance of our lady of the weeping virgin student nicole bento from a local the weeping virgin student nicole bento from a local lovers' lane spot, 19-year-old" "nicole bento from a local lovers' lane spot, 19-year-old castidad hernandez was reported lovers' lane spot, 19-year-old castidad hernandez was reported missing yesterday by her castidad hernandez was reported missing yesterday by her employer after she did not show" "missing yesterday by her employer after she did not show up to clean the woman's house." "Employer after she did not show up to clean the woman's house." "And finally, longtime up to clean the woman's house." "And finally, longtime san griento high school and finally, longtime san griento high school principal prudence loveheart is san griento high school principal prudence loveheart is also missing at this hour." "Principal prudence loveheart is also missing at this hour." "What?" "!" "Also missing at this hour." "What?" "!" "City officials say that what?" "!" "City officials say that miss loveheart's disappearance city officials say that miss loveheart's disappearance may be the result of a citation miss loveheart's disappearance may be the result of a citation she received last month from may be the result of a citation she received last month from the health department after" "she received last month from the health department after neighbors complained that there the health department after neighbors complained that there were at least 30 cats living in neighbors complained that there were at least 30 cats living in her home." "Were at least 30 cats living in her home." "Authorities are investigating her home." "Authorities are investigating but do not believe that the authorities are investigating but do not believe that the three missing-person cases are but do not believe that the three missing-person cases are related." "Three missing-person cases are related." "And now let's turn to related." "And now let's turn to jimmy nimbus in our weather and now let's turn to jimmy nimbus in our weather center to see if jimmy has any jimmy nimbus in our weather center to see if jimmy has any sunshine lined up for us this" "center to see if jimmy has any sunshine lined up for us this weekend." "Sunshine lined up for us this weekend." "Thank you, cheryl." "Weekend." "Thank you, cheryl." "Well, it has been unusually thank you, cheryl." "Well, it has been unusually chilly for this time of year." "Well, it has been unusually chilly for this time of year." "Is it gonna warm back up?" "Chilly for this time of year." "Is it gonna warm back up?" "Sit tight in your igloo, and is it gonna warm back up?" "Sit tight in your igloo, and we'll find out -- sit tight in your igloo, and we'll find out -- maybe I should just get a job we'll find out -- maybe I should just get a job as a goddamn weather girl." "Maybe I should just get a job as a goddamn weather girl. [Sighs]" "As a goddamn weather girl." "[Sighs] [Keys clacking]" "You again?" "[Keys clacking]" "No shit." "[Keys clacking] "Elizabeth, a.K.A. Erzsébet, báthory, born 1560 into one of" ""elizabeth, a.K.A. Erzsébet, báthory, born 1560 into one of hungary's most powerful nobel báthory, born 1560 into one of hungary's most powerful nobel families." "Hungary's most powerful nobel families." "She is believed to be one of the families." "She is believed to be one of the worst serial killers in she is believed to be one of the worst serial killers in history."" "Worst serial killers in history." [Keys clacking]" "[Thunder rumbles] "If historical accounts are accurate, she murdered more than" ""if historical accounts are accurate, she murdered more than 600 young women, believing that accurate, she murdered more than 600 young women, believing that if she bathed in the blood of" "600 young women, believing that if she bathed in the blood of virgins, she would stay young if she bathed in the blood of virgins, she would stay young and beautiful forever."" "[Girls screaming]" "[Choking]" "[Girls screaming]" "[Girls screaming]" "[Shrieking] [Gasps] Jesus." "[Gasps] Jesus." "[Breathing heavily]" "Jesus." "[Breathing heavily] "she adhered to strict rules of [breathing heavily] "She adhered to strict rules of witchcraft and demanded a" ""she adhered to strict rules of witchcraft and demanded a ceremonial sacrifice of five witchcraft and demanded a ceremonial sacrifice of five virgins at each equinox -- ceremonial sacrifice of five virgins at each equinox -- alban eller on or around" "virgins at each equinox -- alban eller on or around march 21st and alban elved on or alban eller on or around march 21st and alban elved on or around september 21st." "March 21st and alban elved on or around september 21st." "September 21st?" "Shit." "Katharine." "[Thunder rumbles]" "[Thunder crashes]" "Leah, what's going on?" "It's almost 1:00 in the morning." "I have to talk to you." "It's almost 1:00 in the morning." "I have to talk to you. [Sighs]" "I have to talk to you." "[Sighs] Can it wait?" "[Sighs] Can it wait?" "Leah, if my grandparents wake can it wait?" "Leah, if my grandparents wake up, we're both in big trouble." "Leah, if my grandparents wake up, we're both in big trouble." "You know they already think up, we're both in big trouble." "You know they already think you're kind of weird." "You know they already think you're kind of weird." "Believe me." "You're kind of weird." "Believe me." "It's life or death." "Believe me." "It's life or death." "[Sighs] All right." "It's life or death. [Sighs] All right." "[Thunder crashes]" "Wow." "Your skin looks great." "What did you do?" "Oh, uh, it's just a thing, what did you do?" "Oh, uh, it's just a thing, you know, from that -- that one oh, uh, it's just a thing, you know, from that -- that one infomercial." "You know, from that -- that one infomercial." "I'll tell you about it later." "Infomercial." "I'll tell you about it later." "So, what's so important?" "I'll tell you about it later." "So, what's so important?" "Here." "Check it out." "So, what's so important?" "Here." "Check it out." "What is this?" "Here." "Check it out." "What is this?" "Just read it." "What is this?" "Just read it." "I did some researching tonight just read it." "I did some researching tonight on that creepy woman you think i did some researching tonight on that creepy woman you think is so cool." "On that creepy woman you think is so cool." "You did what?" "!" "Is so cool." "You did what?" "!" "Shh, shh, shh!" "You did what?" "!" "Shh, shh, shh!" "Leah, why would you do that?" "Shh, shh, shh!" "Leah, why would you do that?" "Just read it first, leah, why would you do that?" "Just read it first, katharine." "Just read it first, katharine." "I promise it'll explain katharine." "I promise it'll explain everything." "I don't understand any of this, about some real-life vampire woman in the 1600s?" "This, about some real-life vampire woman in the 1600s?" "Yeah, I know, but look, their vampire woman in the 1600s?" "Yeah, I know, but look, their names are practically the same." "Yeah, I know, but look, their names are practically the same. [Scoffs]" "Names are practically the same." "[Scoffs] "Practically" being the key word [scoffs] "Practically" being the key word here." ""Practically" being the key word here." "So what?" "Here." "So what?" "So, don't you think it's a so what?" "So, don't you think it's a weird coincidence that this so, don't you think it's a weird coincidence that this countess used to slaughter weird coincidence that this countess used to slaughter teenage virgins and now there's" "countess used to slaughter teenage virgins and now there's a woman with practically the teenage virgins and now there's a woman with practically the same name teaching abstinence to a woman with practically the same name teaching abstinence to girls here?" "Same name teaching abstinence to girls here?" "I mean, even if they're not the girls here?" "I mean, even if they're not the same person -- just, like, a i mean, even if they're not the same person -- just, like, a distant ancestor or a copycat or same person -- just, like, a distant ancestor or a copycat or something " "distant ancestor or a copycat or something -- what are you implying, leah?" "Something -- what are you implying, leah?" "It's late, so please just get to what are you implying, leah?" "It's late, so please just get to the point." "It's late, so please just get to the point." "I'm just saying, what if liz the point." "I'm just saying, what if liz or whoever she is is cultivating" "I'm just saying, what if liz or whoever she is is cultivating her own crop of virgins here in or whoever she is is cultivating her own crop of virgins here in san griento for some kind of her own crop of virgins here in san griento for some kind of similar satanic sacrifice?" "San griento for some kind of similar satanic sacrifice?" "[Laughs]" "Similar satanic sacrifice?" "[Laughs] You akidding me, right?" "[Laughs] You akidding me, right?" "I mean, you've -- you've had you akidding me, right?" "I mean, you've -- you've had some paranoid conspiracy" "I mean, you've -- you've had some paranoid conspiracy theories before, but this -- some paranoid conspiracy theories before, but this -- this is really a stretch." "Theories before, but this -- this is really a stretch." "No, kath." "This is really a stretch." "No, kath." "I'm not kidding." "No, kath." "I'm not kidding." "I'm really worried." "I'm not kidding." "I'm really worried." "Ever since the first day she" "I'm really worried." "Ever since the first day she came to school, I felt like ever since the first day she came to school, I felt like something was off." "Came to school, I felt like something was off." "And until I can prove this one something was off." "And until I can prove this one way or another..." "And until I can prove this one way or another..." "I want you to stay far away from way or another..." "I want you to stay far away from her." "I want you to stay far away from her." "You know what i think, leah?" "Her." "You know what i think, leah?" "I think it's pathetic how you you know what i think, leah?" "I think it's pathetic how you feel like you have to control me" "I think it's pathetic how you feel like you have to control me and to sit in judgment of feel like you have to control me and to sit in judgment of everyone else." "And to sit in judgment of everyone else." "[Scoffs]" "Everyone else." "[Scoffs] No wonder no one likes you." "[Scoffs] No wonder no one likes you." "You know, I've tried to stick by no wonder no one likes you." "You know, I've tried to stick by you all these years, but -- but you know, I've tried to stick by you all these years, but -- but now I see that I've been wasting you all these years, but -- but now I see that I've been wasting my time." "Now I see that I've been wasting my time." "Kath, what the hell." "My time." "Kath, what the hell." "Tell me there's a "ba-dum ching"" "kath, what the hell." "Tell me there's a "ba-dum ching" coming." "Tell me there's a "ba-dum ching" coming." "Good luck with your coming." "Good luck with your front-page story." "Good luck with your front-page story." "It sounds like you've got it all front-page story." "It sounds like you've got it all figured out." "It sounds like you've got it all figured out." "Hope they let you out of the figured out." "Hope they let you out of the loony bin to collect your hope they let you out of the loony bin to collect your pulitzer." "♪ I don't need a girl bye, chicas!" "Put the drink down." "Bye, chicas!" "Put the drink down." "Seriously, you guys are just put the drink down." "Seriously, you guys are just like khloe and lamar." "Seriously, you guys are just like khloe and lamar." "Why the fuck am I khloe?" "Like khloe and lamar." "Why the fuck am I khloe?" "[Sighs]" "Why the fuck am I khloe?" "[Sighs] Kelly." "[Sighs] Kelly." "What?" "Kelly." "What?" "Don't fuck up." "What?" "Don't fuck up." "I won't." "Don't fuck up." "I won't." "He's just gonna help me clean up" "I won't." "He's just gonna help me clean up and then he's outie." "He's just gonna help me clean up and then he's outie." "Kelly, for reals." "And then he's outie." "Kelly, for reals." "V.A.G. " " Stay sucker free." "Kelly, for reals." "V.A.G. " " Stay sucker free." "Totes." "V.A.G. " " Stay sucker free." "Totes." "Have a little trust, bitches." "Totes." "Have a little trust, bitches." "♪ I want to lay you on your have a little trust, bitches." "♪ I want to lay you on your back with your legs spread ♪" "♪ I want to lay you on your back with your legs spread ♪ ♪ want to get you soaking wet back with your legs spread ♪ ♪ want to get you soaking wet ♪ soak the bedspread" "♪ want to get you soaking wet ♪ soak the bedspread ♪ doesn't matter where you are" "♪ soak the bedspread ♪ doesn't matter where you are ♪ I can act sweet" "♪ doesn't matter where you are ♪ I can act sweet ♪ but when nobody's around, do" "♪ I can act sweet ♪ but when nobody's around, do the backseat ♪" "♪ but when nobody's around, do the backseat ♪ oh, yeah, baby girl." "The backseat ♪ oh, yeah, baby girl." "You know I love you so much." "Oh, yeah, baby girl." "You know I love you so much." "I know, travis." "You know I love you so much." "I know, travis." "I love you, too." "I know, travis." "I love you, too." "Boo, I want to get with you" "I love you, too." "Boo, I want to get with you so bad, it hurts." "Boo, I want to get with you so bad, it hurts." "I know, baby." "Here." "So bad, it hurts." "I know, baby." "Here. [Zipper opens]" "I know, baby." "Here." "[Zipper opens] No." "[Zipper opens] No." "No." "No." "No." "You know how I want to love you, no." "You know how I want to love you, girl." "You know how I want to love you, girl." "The right way." "Girl." "The right way." "I know, but I can't." "The right way." "I know, but I can't." "Baby, I'm s-t-ruggling here." "I know, but I can't." "Baby, I'm s-t-ruggling here." "Come on." "Baby, I'm s-t-ruggling here." "Come on." "Ashley will kill me." "Come on." "Ashley will kill me." "Come on." "Ashley will kill me." "Come on." "How's she gonna know?" "Come on." "How's she gonna know?" "You gonna keep it on the d.L." "How's she gonna know?" "You gonna keep it on the d.L. What if they, like, look down you gonna keep it on the d.L. What if they, like, look down there and check to see if, like, what if they, like, look down there and check to see if, like, I'm really still there?" "There and check to see if, like, I'm really still there?" "That's abso-ludicrous." "I'm really still there?" "That's abso-ludicrous." "This is san griento, baby, not that's abso-ludicrous." "This is san griento, baby, not san guantanamo." "This is san griento, baby, not san guantanamo." "You're doing permanent damage to san guantanamo." "You're doing permanent damage to me here." "You're doing permanent damage to me here." "I don't know." "Me here." "I don't know." "They said in v.A.G. That's not" "I don't know." "They said in v.A.G. That's not really possible, but..." "They said in v.A.G. That's not really possible, but..." "Oh!" "Really possible, but..." "Oh!" "Oh, god." "Oh!" "Oh, god." "Oh, god." "Oh, god." "Oh, god." "Oh, god." "Oh, god." "Oh, god." "Oh, god!" "Oh, god." "Oh, god!" "[Thunder rumbles]" "♪ I don't want to see you hello, leah." "I see you're reading a hello, leah." "I see you're reading a fascinating story about one of" "I see you're reading a fascinating story about one of my countrywomen." "Fascinating story about one of my countrywomen." "It's a terrifying tale, isn't my countrywomen." "It's a terrifying tale, isn't it?" "It's a terrifying tale, isn't it?" "Yeah, you could say that." "It?" "Yeah, you could say that." "It's a funny coincidence, the yeah, you could say that." "It's a funny coincidence, the two of you both being in the it's a funny coincidence, the two of you both being in the virgin business." "Two of you both being in the virgin business." "Oh, yes." "Virgin business." "Oh, yes." "Well, after so much pain was oh, yes." "Well, after so much pain was caused in my homeland, v.A.G." "Well, after so much pain was caused in my homeland, v.A.G. Was just my way of giving back caused in my homeland, v.A.G. Was just my way of giving back to the community." "Was just my way of giving back to the community." "Oh, what a lovely thought, to the community." "Oh, what a lovely thought, especially with the high holiday oh, what a lovely thought, especially with the high holiday of alban elved nearly upon us." "Especially with the high holiday of alban elved nearly upon us." "You really should be careful, of alban elved nearly upon us." "You really should be careful, my dear." "You really should be careful, my dear." "A girl who never wants to join my dear." "A girl who never wants to join in with the group can find a girl who never wants to join in with the group can find herself on the outside of things in with the group can find herself on the outside of things very quickly." "Herself on the outside of things very quickly." "Thanks for the advice." "Very quickly." "Thanks for the advice." "I'm not particularly concerned thanks for the advice." "I'm not particularly concerned about that." "I'm not particularly concerned about that." "You may have all the stupid about that." "You may have all the stupid birthers in this town fooled, you may have all the stupid birthers in this town fooled, but not me." "Birthers in this town fooled, but not me." "Really?" "But not me." "Really?" "And how is your plan to expose really?" "And how is your plan to expose me working out for you so far?" "Kath." "Uh..." "Katharine, can I -- can I talk uh..." "Katharine, can I -- can I talk to you for a second?" "Katharine, can I -- can I talk to you for a second?" "I'm a little busy right now." "To you for a second?" "I'm a little busy right now." "I'm really sorry if I upset" "I'm a little busy right now." "I'm really sorry if I upset you." "I'm really sorry if I upset you." "Why don't you just come over to you." "Why don't you just come over to my house tonight?" "Why don't you just come over to my house tonight?" "We'll have an old-school slumber my house tonight?" "We'll have an old-school slumber party, you know, watch colbert, we'll have an old-school slumber party, you know, watch colbert, make brownies?" "Party, you know, watch colbert, make brownies?" "I'm sorry, but I have plans make brownies?" "I'm sorry, but I have plans tonight." "I'm sorry, but I have plans tonight." "Katharine, please, I really tonight." "Katharine, please, I really need to talk to you." "Katharine, please, I really need to talk to you." "Look, I don't really think need to talk to you." "Look, I don't really think there's anything to talk about." "Look, I don't really think there's anything to talk about." "I just feel like we're changing there's anything to talk about." "I just feel like we're changing and we're growing apart and," "I just feel like we're changing and we're growing apart and, well, right now I need to be and we're growing apart and, well, right now I need to be around energy that's more" "well, right now I need to be around energy that's more positive and uplifting, like around energy that's more positive and uplifting, like v.A.G., and less negative and positive and uplifting, like v.A.G., and less negative and pissy like you." "V.A.G., and less negative and pissy like you." "I'm sorry, but that's just how I pissy like you." "I'm sorry, but that's just how I feel." "I'm sorry, but that's just how I feel." "And I would really appreciate if feel." "And I would really appreciate if you would respect my need for and I would really appreciate if you would respect my need for space right now." "You would respect my need for space right now." "You can't go with them space right now." "You can't go with them tonight." "You can't go with them tonight." "She said she doesn't want to tonight." "She said she doesn't want to talk to you, you heathen whore!" "She said she doesn't want to talk to you, you heathen whore!" "What?" "!" "Talk to you, you heathen whore!" "What?" "!" "I'm not a whore, you bimbo!" "What?" "!" "I'm not a whore, you bimbo!" "Oh, no?" "I'm not a whore, you bimbo!" "Oh, no?" "Then why haven't you been coming oh, no?" "Then why haven't you been coming to v.A.G. To learn to respect then why haven't you been coming to v.A.G. To learn to respect your body as a temple of purity?" "To v.A.G. To learn to respect your body as a temple of purity?" "We can only assume that any girl your body as a temple of purity?" "We can only assume that any girl at this school who did not sign we can only assume that any girl at this school who did not sign the v.A.G. Pledge is a whore." "At this school who did not sign the v.A.G. Pledge is a whore." "It's not the kind of person the the v.A.G. Pledge is a whore." "It's not the kind of person the rest of us want to be it's not the kind of person the rest of us want to be associated with." "Rest of us want to be associated with." "All right, listen to me!" "Associated with." "All right, listen to me!" "Liz batho is not who she says all right, listen to me!" "Liz batho is not who she says she is, and everyone in v.A.G." "Liz batho is not who she says she is, and everyone in v.A.G. Is in a lot of danger!" "She is, and everyone in v.A.G. Is in a lot of danger!" "[Laughter]" "Is in a lot of danger!" "[Laughter] Wow." "[Laughter] Wow." "Wow." "Wow." "Wow." "Katharine was right." "Wow." "Katharine was right." "Anything for your stupid blog." "Katharine was right." "Anything for your stupid blog." "I'm sure your five readers would anything for your stupid blog." "I'm sure your five readers would love to get the full scoop, but" "I'm sure your five readers would love to get the full scoop, but some of us have an actual life love to get the full scoop, but some of us have an actual life to lead." "Some of us have an actual life to lead." "Mm-hmm." "To lead." "Mm-hmm." "Stop the snitching'." "Mm-hmm." "Stop the snitching'." "[School bell rings]" "That was really messed up." "Yeah. [Scoffs]" "Yeah." "[Scoffs] I don't know what's going on [scoffs] I don't know what's going on around here, but it's pretty" "I don't know what's going on around here, but it's pretty creepy, more so than usual." "Around here, but it's pretty creepy, more so than usual." "It's like some sort of creepy, more so than usual." "It's like some sort of super-bitch imperialist coup." "It's like some sort of super-bitch imperialist coup." "[Chuckles]" "Super-bitch imperialist coup." "[Chuckles] What they said about you..." "[Chuckles] What they said about you..." "You know that's bullshit, right?" "What they said about you..." "You know that's bullshit, right?" "I think you're pretty much the you know that's bullshit, right?" "I think you're pretty much the coolest person in this school," "I think you're pretty much the coolest person in this school, in this whole crappy, little coolest person in this school, in this whole crappy, little town, and the only one with the in this whole crappy, little town, and the only one with the balls to stand up to people" "town, and the only one with the balls to stand up to people here." "Balls to stand up to people here." "I, um..." "Here." "I, um..." "I just want you to know that." "I, um..." "I just want you to know that." "[Chuckles]" "I just want you to know that." "[Chuckles] A fat lot of good it's done me." "Thank you, paul." "I really appreciate that." "And, uh, you know, you're not so" "I really appreciate that." "And, uh, you know, you're not so bad yourself, comrade." "And, uh, you know, you're not so bad yourself, comrade." "Viva la revolución." "Bad yourself, comrade." "Viva la revolución." "Occupy san griento!" "Viva la revolución." "Occupy san griento!" "♪ We want to live under the occupy san griento!" "♪ We want to live under the bright lights and tear it up ♪" "♪ we want to live under the bright lights and tear it up ♪ ♪ we could lose it a like a bright lights and tear it up ♪ ♪ we could lose it a like a limb ♪" "♪ we could lose it a like a limb ♪ ♪ could you give it up?" "Limb ♪ ♪ could you give it up?" "♪ And all our hands are" "♪ could you give it up?" "♪ And all our hands are muskets ♪" "♪ and all our hands are muskets ♪ pick you up tonight for liz's muskets ♪ pick you up tonight for liz's purity jam?" "Pick you up tonight for liz's purity jam?" "Hell to the yeah." "Purity jam?" "Hell to the yeah." "That gonna be cray, yo." "Hell to the yeah." "That gonna be cray, yo." "Right?" "That gonna be cray, yo." "Right?" "♪ We're summertime in the right?" "♪ We're summertime in the fall ♪" "And so, katharine and the hilt-- the other girls are basically being lined up for a hilt-- the other girls are basically being lined up for a death panel if we don't do basically being lined up for a death panel if we don't do something." "Death panel if we don't do something." "This is journalism." "Something." "This is journalism." "Creative writing is this is journalism." "Creative writing is mrs." "Bradshaw down the hall." "Creative writing is mrs." "Bradshaw down the hall." "Mr. Rowland, please, this is mrs." "Bradshaw down the hall." "Mr. Rowland, please, this is very serious." "Mr. Rowland, please, this is very serious." "Leah, you've caused enough very serious." "Leah, you've caused enough trouble for this paper to last leah, you've caused enough trouble for this paper to last me a lifetime." "Trouble for this paper to last me a lifetime." "But I -- me a lifetime." "But I -- now, what I want you to do is but I -- now, what I want you to do is to get out of here and write now, what I want you to do is to get out of here and write something that I can actually" "to get out of here and write something that I can actually print." "Something that I can actually print." "This is something!" "Print." "This is something!" "Now get out of here, or I'm this is something!" "Now get out of here, or I'm gonna cut you from the staff." "Now get out of here, or I'm gonna cut you from the staff." "Mr. Rowland -- gonna cut you from the staff." "Mr. Rowland -- out!" "Mr. Rowland -- out!" "I think that's suspicious out!" "I think that's suspicious enough to warrant an" "I think that's suspicious enough to warrant an investigation." "Enough to warrant an investigation." "I mean, don't you?" "Investigation." "I mean, don't you?" "Benny, I think this one's a" "I mean, don't you?" "Benny, I think this one's a little, uh..." "Benny, I think this one's a little, uh..." "You know what I'm saying?" "Little, uh..." "You know what I'm saying?" "Nah, louie." "You know what I'm saying?" "Nah, louie." "She ain't crazy." "Nah, louie." "She ain't crazy." "This is the gal that wrote that she ain't crazy." "This is the gal that wrote that cute, little piece for the this is the gal that wrote that cute, little piece for the high-school paper last year that cute, little piece for the high-school paper last year that called us racists." "High-school paper last year that called us racists." "Oh, yeah!" "Called us racists." "Oh, yeah! "D.W.L."" "Oh, yeah!" ""D.W.L." Driving while latino." ""D.W.L." Driving while latino." "What?" "Driving while latino." "What?" "Are you here to make us look what?" "Are you here to make us look like a couple of doofuses again?" "Are you here to make us look like a couple of doofuses again?" "Well, it ain't gonna happen." "Like a couple of doofuses again?" "Well, it ain't gonna happen." "Sir, I did my best to make well, it ain't gonna happen." "Sir, I did my best to make that piece fair and balanced." "Sir, I did my best to make that piece fair and balanced." "Sorry, missy." "That piece fair and balanced." "Sorry, missy." "We ain't falling for it this sorry, missy." "We ain't falling for it this time." "We ain't falling for it this time." "Benny, louie, please, this is time." "Benny, louie, please, this is an opportunity to assist your benny, louie, please, this is an opportunity to assist your fellow citizen!" "An opportunity to assist your fellow citizen!" "Wait -- come on!" "Fellow citizen!" "Wait -- come on!" "You're letting the terrorists wait -- come on!" "You're letting the terrorists win!" "You're letting the terrorists win!" "Hello?" "Win!" "Hello?" "Hi, mom?" "Hello?" "Hi, mom?" "[Sighs]" "Hi, mom?" "[Sighs] Didn't you get my messages?" "[Sighs] Didn't you get my messages?" "Why didn't you call me back?" "Didn't you get my messages?" "Why didn't you call me back?" "Honey, I'm at work." "Why didn't you call me back?" "Honey, I'm at work." "I'm holding down two jobs, honey, I'm at work." "I'm holding down two jobs, remember, to make sure you get" "I'm holding down two jobs, remember, to make sure you get to go to college next year while remember, to make sure you get to go to college next year while you run around causing nothing to go to college next year while you run around causing nothing but problems for us in this" "you run around causing nothing but problems for us in this town?" "But problems for us in this town?" "Mom, I'm sorry, but this town?" "Mom, I'm sorry, but this situation is very real and it's mom, I'm sorry, but this situation is very real and it's very bad, and I need your help." "Situation is very real and it's very bad, and I need your help." "Leah, I have to get back on very bad, and I need your help." "Leah, I have to get back on the floor." "Leah, I have to get back on the floor." "We'll talk about this when I get the floor." "We'll talk about this when I get home." "We'll talk about this when I get home." "Mom, no, wait -- home." "Mom, no, wait -- shit!" "Mom, no, wait -- shit!" "Oh!" "What now?" "Shit!" "Oh!" "What now?" "Heads up, comrade." "Oh!" "What now?" "Heads up, comrade. [Dialing]" "Heads up, comrade." "[Dialing] ♪ you start a panic ♪" "[Dialing] ♪ you start a panic ♪ [Cellphone rings]" "♪ You start a panic ♪ [Cellphone rings] ♪ the machines, they keep us in [cellphone rings] ♪ the machines, they keep us in time ♪" "♪ the machines, they keep us in time ♪ ♪ and don't forget ♪" "Time ♪ ♪ and don't forget ♪ hello?" "♪ And don't forget ♪ hello?" "Hi, paul?" "Hello?" "Hi, paul?" "That's my name." "Hi, paul?" "That's my name." "Don't wear it out." "That's my name." "Don't wear it out." "Hey, uh, this is leah." "Don't wear it out." "Hey, uh, this is leah." "You know, locker above yours, hey, uh, this is leah." "You know, locker above yours, simone de beauvoir, heathen you know, locker above yours, simone de beauvoir, heathen whore." "Simone de beauvoir, heathen whore." "Hey." "Yeah." "Whore." "Hey." "Yeah." "Hey, what's, uh..." "Hey." "Yeah." "Hey, what's, uh..." "What's going on?" "Hey, what's, uh..." "What's going on?" "What are you doing right now?" "What's going on?" "What are you doing right now?" "Um, you know, I'm just what are you doing right now?" "Um, you know, I'm just chilling in my crib." "Um, you know, I'm just chilling in my crib." "Oh, great." "Chilling in my crib." "Oh, great." "Remember how I said we should oh, great." "Remember how I said we should discuss radical politics and remember how I said we should discuss radical politics and philosophy sometime?" "Discuss radical politics and philosophy sometime?" "Yeah, absolutely." "Philosophy sometime?" "Yeah, absolutely." "Well..." "Yeah, absolutely." "Well..." "What about tonight?" "Well..." "What about tonight?" "Tonight?" "Um..." "Yeah." "What about tonight?" "Tonight?" "Um..." "Yeah." "Okay, cool." "Tonight?" "Um..." "Yeah." "Okay, cool." "Yeah, tonight's -- tonight's okay, cool." "Yeah, tonight's -- tonight's good." "Yeah, tonight's -- tonight's good." "Um..." "Where -- where -- where do good." "Um..." "Where -- where -- where do you want to meet?" "Um..." "Where -- where -- where do you want to meet?" "Are your parents home?" "You want to meet?" "Are your parents home?" "No, I'm at my dad's place, are your parents home?" "No, I'm at my dad's place, and he's working the night no, I'm at my dad's place, and he's working the night shift." "And he's working the night shift." "Perfect." "Shift." "Perfect." "I'll be right over." "Perfect." "I'll be right over." "You're coming over here?" "I'll be right over." "You're coming over here?" "Like, now?" "You're coming over here?" "Like, now?" "Paul, I'm not coming by to be like, now?" "Paul, I'm not coming by to be impressed by your housekeeping paul, I'm not coming by to be impressed by your housekeeping skills." "Impressed by your housekeeping skills." "Just be ready to let me in in 10 skills." "Just be ready to let me in in 10 minutes." "[Doorbell rings]" "Hi." "[Clears throat] [Sighs]" "[Clears throat] [Sighs] Come on in." "[Sighs] Come on in." "Uh, I got all my books out." "Come on in." "Uh, I got all my books out." "My collection's pretty uh, I got all my books out." "My collection's pretty extensive, if a little heavy on my collection's pretty extensive, if a little heavy on the camus." "Extensive, if a little heavy on the camus." "Presidential reading list and the camus." "Presidential reading list and all." "Presidential reading list and all." "Paul, are we alone?" "All." "Paul, are we alone?" "Uh, yeah?" "Paul, are we alone?" "Uh, yeah?" "I want to discuss de beauvoir uh, yeah?" "I want to discuss de beauvoir now." "I want to discuss de beauvoir now." "Okay." "Now." "Okay." "Paul, do you believe that okay." "Paul, do you believe that one's life has value so long as paul, do you believe that one's life has value so long as one attributes value to the love one's life has value so long as one attributes value to the love of others?" "One attributes value to the love of others?" "Uh, yeah." "Of others?" "Uh, yeah." "Good, good." "That's very good." "Uh, yeah." "Good, good." "That's very good." "Do you believe that women can good, good." "That's very good." "Do you believe that women can free themselves, both through do you believe that women can free themselves, both through individual action as well as..." "Free themselves, both through individual action as well as..." "Collective decisions?" "Individual action as well as..." "Collective decisions?" "Yeah." "Yes." "Absolutely." "Collective decisions?" "Yeah." "Yes." "Absolutely." "Do you believe that one is yeah." "Yes." "Absolutely." "Do you believe that one is not born but rather becomes a do you believe that one is not born but rather becomes a woman?" "Not born but rather becomes a woman?" "Well, yes, but don't forget woman?" "Well, yes, but don't forget that de beauvoir said that even well, yes, but don't forget that de beauvoir said that even the most sympathetic of men can that de beauvoir said that even the most sympathetic of men can never fully comprehend a woman's" "the most sympathetic of men can never fully comprehend a woman's situation." "Never fully comprehend a woman's situation." "Shh, shh." "Situation." "Shh, shh." "Paul, we'll get to that." "Shh, shh." "Paul, we'll get to that." "Right now, I need you to do me a paul, we'll get to that." "Right now, I need you to do me a favor." "Right now, I need you to do me a favor." "Yes." "Favor." "Yes." "I need you to help me become yes." "I need you to help me become a woman." "I need you to help me become a woman." "Right now." "[Thunder rumbles]" "There you are." "Has everything been prepared as i asked?" "Has everything been prepared as i asked?" "Yes, countess." "I asked?" "Yes, countess." "Good." "Yes, countess." "Good." "Then where is that fool?" "Good." "Then where is that fool?" "You ridiculous man, nobody's then where is that fool?" "You ridiculous man, nobody's going to hurt you..." "You ridiculous man, nobody's going to hurt you..." "If you follow my instructions." "Going to hurt you..." "If you follow my instructions." "Remember, when the girls arrive, if you follow my instructions." "Remember, when the girls arrive, we are not to be disturbed for remember, when the girls arrive, we are not to be disturbed for any reason." "We are not to be disturbed for any reason." "If someone tries to enter the any reason." "If someone tries to enter the property, you are to stop them if someone tries to enter the property, you are to stop them by any means necessary." "Property, you are to stop them by any means necessary." "Do you understand?" "By any means necessary." "Do you understand?" "Go away and do as you're told." "Do you understand?" "Go away and do as you're told." "Now, ilona, let us make go away and do as you're told." "Now, ilona, let us make ourselves ready for the arrival now, ilona, let us make ourselves ready for the arrival of our guests of honor." "Ourselves ready for the arrival of our guests of honor." "Aww." "Of our guests of honor." "Aww." "Why that sullen face?" "Aww." "Why that sullen face?" "Tonight my glory will be why that sullen face?" "Tonight my glory will be restored and we will soon be tonight my glory will be restored and we will soon be able to go home." "Restored and we will soon be able to go home." "[Sighs]" "Able to go home." "[Sighs] And if I do everything you ask, [sighs] And if I do everything you ask, you will release me so that I and if I do everything you ask, you will release me so that I may return to my family?" "You will release me so that I may return to my family?" "If you do everything I ask may return to my family?" "If you do everything I ask correctly, perhaps." "If you do everything I ask correctly, perhaps." "But you promised!" "Correctly, perhaps." "But you promised!" "[Gasps]" "The dark lord must be appeased with our unholy sacrifice tonight, or it will appeased with our unholy sacrifice tonight, or it will all be over for you and your sacrifice tonight, or it will all be over for you and your precious family." "All be over for you and your precious family." "I will see to that personally." "Now go and make ready before I change my mind completely. [Sighs]" "Change my mind completely." "[Sighs] Yes, mistress." "♪ Hold my breath ♪ till the silence falls ♪ bleed to death" "♪ till the silence falls ♪ bleed to death [Gasps]" "♪ Bleed to death [Gasps] ♪ I don't feel a thing [gasps] ♪ I don't feel a thing ♪ is there anyone out there" "♪ I don't feel a thing ♪ is there anyone out there ♪ that loves me as I am?" "♪ Is there anyone out there ♪ that loves me as I am?" "Wait." "Where are you going?" "♪ That loves me as I am?" "Wait." "Where are you going?" "Are you leaving?" "Wait." "Where are you going?" "Are you leaving?" "I'm sorry, paul." "Are you leaving?" "I'm sorry, paul." "I have to go." "I'm sorry, paul." "I have to go." "But we didn't even get to" "I have to go." "But we didn't even get to second-wave feminism." "But we didn't even get to second-wave feminism." "I know." "Second-wave feminism." "I know." "Um, I can't tonight." "I know." "Um, I can't tonight." "I have to go right now." "Um, I can't tonight." "I have to go right now." "Okay, uh, something's up." "I have to go right now." "Okay, uh, something's up." "Is it, uh, something that I did okay, uh, something's up." "Is it, uh, something that I did or -- or didn't do when we, you is it, uh, something that I did or -- or didn't do when we, you know?" "Or -- or didn't do when we, you know?" "Oh, no." "Know?" "Oh, no." "No, you were great, actually." "Oh, no." "No, you were great, actually." "Really?" "Cool." "No, you were great, actually." "Really?" "Cool." "Yeah, I just don't have time really?" "Cool." "Yeah, I just don't have time to, you know, bask in the yeah, I just don't have time to, you know, bask in the afterglow right now, is all." "To, you know, bask in the afterglow right now, is all." "I'm gonna be totally honest afterglow right now, is all." "I'm gonna be totally honest here." "I'm gonna be totally honest here." "Um..." "That was my first time." "Here." "Um..." "That was my first time." "And I'm " " I'm pretty sure that um..." "That was my first time." "And I'm " " I'm pretty sure that that was your first time, too, and I'm " " I'm pretty sure that that was your first time, too, which is totally cool because it that was your first time, too, which is totally cool because it was really special." "Which is totally cool because it was really special." "I don't mean, like, retarded." "Was really special." "I don't mean, like, retarded." "I mean " "I don't mean, like, retarded." "I mean -- no, it was special and" "I mean -- no, it was special and magical and all that for me, no, it was special and magical and all that for me, too." "Magical and all that for me, too." "Please, paul, I'll call you too." "Please, paul, I'll call you tomorrow." "Please, paul, I'll call you tomorrow." "I just have a situation that tomorrow." "I just have a situation that demands my full attention at the" "I just have a situation that demands my full attention at the moment, so -- demands my full attention at the moment, so -- whatever's going on, you moment, so -- whatever's going on, you clearly need someone to trust." "Whatever's going on, you clearly need someone to trust." "And I-I hope you know that I'm clearly need someone to trust." "And I-I hope you know that I'm that guy." "And I-I hope you know that I'm that guy." "[Sighs] Thank you, but I..." "That guy. [Sighs] Thank you, but I..." "I think I have to handle this [sighs] Thank you, but I..." "I think I have to handle this alone." "I think I have to handle this alone." "No, you don't." "Alone." "No, you don't." "Look, I'm totally down with this no, you don't." "Look, I'm totally down with this strong-woman thing, but no look, I'm totally down with this strong-woman thing, but no person can handle everything on strong-woman thing, but no person can handle everything on her own." "Person can handle everything on her own." "Not hillary, not buffy, not even her own." "Not hillary, not buffy, not even you, so please just..." "Not hillary, not buffy, not even you, so please just..." "Talk to me." "You, so please just..." "Talk to me. [Sighs]" "Talk to me." "[Sighs] You're gonna think I'm crazy." "[Sighs] You're gonna think I'm crazy." "[Chuckles]" "You're gonna think I'm crazy." "[Chuckles] Everyone thinks I'm crazy." "[Chuckles] Everyone thinks I'm crazy." "I already think that you're everyone thinks I'm crazy." "I already think that you're crazy, but I also think that" "I already think that you're crazy, but I also think that you're..." "Crazy, but I also think that you're..." "Amazing." "You're..." "Amazing." "At least I can listen, and maybe amazing." "At least I can listen, and maybe I can even help." "At least I can listen, and maybe I can even help." "Okay." "I can even help." "Okay." "But get dressed." "Okay." "But get dressed." "I need you to drive me but get dressed." "I need you to drive me somewhere, and we don't have" "I need you to drive me somewhere, and we don't have much time." "Somewhere, and we don't have much time." "[Thunder rumbles]" "So, what's the plan to bring down the mary kay lady from hell?" "Down the mary kay lady from hell?" "Priority number one is just hell?" "Priority number one is just to get katharine the hell out of priority number one is just to get katharine the hell out of there." "To get katharine the hell out of there." "And if bad shit's going down, there." "And if bad shit's going down, you should probably call 911, and if bad shit's going down, you should probably call 911, 'cause I'm sure they've got my you should probably call 911, 'cause I'm sure they've got my number on some list of people to" "'cause I'm sure they've got my number on some list of people to let die." "Number on some list of people to let die." "Yeah, but what's the plan let die." "Yeah, but what's the plan more specifically, like, if yeah, but what's the plan more specifically, like, if she's this evil countess with more specifically, like, if she's this evil countess with superpowers and we alone have to" "she's this evil countess with superpowers and we alone have to stop her?" "Superpowers and we alone have to stop her?" "Just, you know..." "Stop her?" "Just, you know..." "Don't retreat, reload." "Just, you know..." "Don't retreat, reload." "Reload what?" "Don't retreat, reload." "Reload what?" "Our courage and these two reload what?" "Our courage and these two steak knives I took from your our courage and these two steak knives I took from your kitchen." "Steak knives I took from your kitchen." "[Laughing] You don't have a kitchen." "[Laughing] You don't have a plan, do you?" "[Laughing] You don't have a plan, do you?" "All right, I don't have notes plan, do you?" "All right, I don't have notes written on the back of my hand all right, I don't have notes written on the back of my hand for this one, but listen, she's written on the back of my hand for this one, but listen, she's got to get blood from all five" "for this one, but listen, she's got to get blood from all five virgins on alban elved, or the got to get blood from all five virgins on alban elved, or the gig is up, right?" "Virgins on alban elved, or the gig is up, right?" "So I figure between the two of gig is up, right?" "So I figure between the two of us, we can either sneak so I figure between the two of us, we can either sneak katharine out of there by us, we can either sneak katharine out of there by midnight or overpower one blood" "katharine out of there by midnight or overpower one blood countess while we take her by midnight or overpower one blood countess while we take her by force." "Countess while we take her by force." "No, no, you're right." "Force." "No, no, you're right." "We'll improvise." "No, no, you're right." "We'll improvise." "Let's do this thing!" "We'll improvise." "Let's do this thing!" "Paul, are you sure you want let's do this thing!" "Paul, are you sure you want to do this with me?" "Paul, are you sure you want to do this with me?" "Because..." "To do this with me?" "Because..." "If I'm wrong and we get caught, because..." "If I'm wrong and we get caught, I could just be getting you into if I'm wrong and we get caught, I could just be getting you into a lot of trouble." "I could just be getting you into a lot of trouble." "Leah, it's trespassing, not a lot of trouble." "Leah, it's trespassing, not grand theft auto." "Leah, it's trespassing, not grand theft auto." "And I'm a minor with no prior grand theft auto." "And I'm a minor with no prior record who's the president of and I'm a minor with no prior record who's the president of the young philosophers club." "Record who's the president of the young philosophers club." "I don't think I'll get in that the young philosophers club." "I don't think I'll get in that much trouble." "I don't think I'll get in that much trouble." "Maybe not, but you'll be a much trouble." "Maybe not, but you'll be a pariah at school for the rest of maybe not, but you'll be a pariah at school for the rest of the year." "Pariah at school for the rest of the year." "Did I mention the young the year." "Did I mention the young philosophers club?" "Did I mention the young philosophers club?" "[Chuckles]" "Philosophers club?" "[Chuckles] Yeah." "[Chuckles] Yeah." "We make "glee" look like the yeah." "We make "glee" look like the homecoming court." "We make "glee" look like the homecoming court." "And besides..." "Homecoming court." "And besides..." "I don't think you're wrong." "And besides..." "I don't think you're wrong." "Well, it could be very" "I don't think you're wrong." "Well, it could be very dangerous." "Well, it could be very dangerous." "Well, then I can't let you go dangerous." "Well, then I can't let you go alone." "Well, then I can't let you go alone." "Fine." "Alone." "Fine." "But we stay together unless fine." "But we stay together unless absolutely necessary, got it?" "But we stay together unless absolutely necessary, got it?" "Got it." "Damn." "This is fully v.I.P., bitches." "We're like the girls next bitches." "We're like the girls next door partying at the mansion, we're like the girls next door partying at the mansion, yo!" "Door partying at the mansion, yo!" "And now, my dears, I have one yo!" "And now, my dears, I have one more surprise for you before I and now, my dears, I have one more surprise for you before I give you your special gifts." "More surprise for you before I give you your special gifts." "Your mothers are here to join us give you your special gifts." "Your mothers are here to join us for our celebration." "Your mothers are here to join us for our celebration." "I've been giving them little spa for our celebration." "I've been giving them little spa treatments this past week, and I" "I've been giving them little spa treatments this past week, and I think you will be quite treatments this past week, and I think you will be quite surprised at their think you will be quite surprised at their transformation." "Surprised at their transformation." "Britney, I'm so sorry your transformation." "Britney, I'm so sorry your mother couldn't be here to join britney, I'm so sorry your mother couldn't be here to join us." "Mother couldn't be here to join us." "Still on her alco-holiday?" "Us." "Still on her alco-holiday?" "It's so chaotic." "Still on her alco-holiday?" "It's so chaotic." "Can you handle my truth?" "It's so chaotic." "Can you handle my truth?" "Ladies?" "Whoa." "Mommy?" "Hello, darling." "Mommy?" "Hello, darling." "Shit, mom." "Hello, darling." "Shit, mom." "You look..." "Amaze-balls." "Shit, mom." "You look..." "Amaze-balls." "Yes, dear." "You look..." "Amaze-balls." "Yes, dear." "Tonight is only the beginning." "Yes, dear." "Tonight is only the beginning." "[Thunder rumbles]" "[Gate creaks]" "Okay." "She's in there with the bachmanns and the she's in there with the bachmanns and the "bad girls club," but I don't bachmanns and the "bad girls club," but I don't see katharine." ""Bad girls club," but I don't see katharine." "You keep an eye on them." "See katharine." "You keep an eye on them." "I'm gonna go around to the back you keep an eye on them." "I'm gonna go around to the back door and see if it's open." "I'm gonna go around to the back door and see if it's open." "Wait." "Door and see if it's open." "Wait." "You said we weren't gonna split wait." "You said we weren't gonna split up." "You said we weren't gonna split up." "I know, but you can see up." "I know, but you can see everyone from here." "I know, but you can see everyone from here." "I'll text you if I find a way everyone from here." "I'll text you if I find a way in." "I'll text you if I find a way in." "Okay." "Be careful." "In." "Okay." "Be careful." "You, too." "Hello, girlie." "No." "No." "[Muffled screaming]" "Holy shit!" "Oh, my god!" "[Gasps]" "Oh, my god!" "[Gasps] Look at this one." "[Gasps] Look at this one." "Look at this one." "Look at this one." "Look at this one." "Oh, my god." "Okay." "Look at this one." "Oh, my god." "Okay." "Ashley, check it." "Check it." "Oh, my god." "Okay." "Ashley, check it." "Check it. [Indistinct conversation]" "[Metal scraping]" "[Clatter] [Muffled] No!" "No!" "No!" "Leah!" "Leah, where are you?" "[Muffled] Paul, look out!" "Paul!" "[Muffled] Paul, look out!" "Paul!" "[Muffled shouting]" "[Thudding]" "[Sniffing]" "[Screams]" "Hi." "I remember you from the other day." "I remember you from the other day." "Can you -- can you please talk day." "Can you -- can you please talk to me?" "Can you -- can you please talk to me?" "What's going on?" "To me?" "What's going on?" "Please?" "What's going on?" "Please?" "You'll find out soon enough, please?" "You'll find out soon enough, and you'll wish you hadn't you'll find out soon enough, and you'll wish you hadn't asked." "And you'll wish you hadn't asked." "It's more horrible than anything asked." "It's more horrible than anything you've ever imagined." "It's more horrible than anything you've ever imagined." "Liz is going to be very you've ever imagined." "Liz is going to be very displeased when she sees me tied liz is going to be very displeased when she sees me tied up like this." "Displeased when she sees me tied up like this." "I'm a guest of honor here." "Up like this." "I'm a guest of honor here." "You're not a guest." "I'm a guest of honor here." "You're not a guest." "You're a prisoner." "You're not a guest." "You're a prisoner." "Just like I am." "You're a prisoner." "Just like I am." "Just like what everyone who just like I am." "Just like what everyone who enters this house becomes." "Just like what everyone who enters this house becomes." "[Voice breaking] No!" "Enters this house becomes." "[Voice breaking] No!" "She loves me!" "[Voice breaking] No!" "She loves me!" "She told me so!" "She loves me!" "She told me so!" "Don't you see?" "She told me so!" "Don't you see?" "She doesn't love anyone but don't you see?" "She doesn't love anyone but herself." "She doesn't love anyone but herself." "[Thunder rumbles]" "Herself." "[Thunder rumbles] I'm sorry." "[Thunder rumbles] I'm sorry." "I cannot help you." "I'm sorry." "I cannot help you." "No, no, no!" "Please don't go!" "I cannot help you." "No, no, no!" "Please don't go!" "Please, please don't!" "No, no, no!" "Please don't go!" "Please, please don't!" "Talk to me!" "Please!" "Please, please don't!" "Talk to me!" "Please!" "No." "Talk to me!" "Please!" "No." "Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew." "No." "Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. [Groans]" "Yes." "[Door rattling]" "[Muffled] God damn!" "Get your fucking hands off me." "Ohh!" "Ohh!" "[Groans] [Grunts]" "[Groans] [Grunts] Nice job there." "[Grunts] Nice job there." "But you got to stop using sex as nice job there." "But you got to stop using sex as a weapon." "But you got to stop using sex as a weapon." "I know." "A weapon." "I know." "We still got to find katharine." "I know." "We still got to find katharine." "We're running out of time." "We still got to find katharine." "We're running out of time." "What happened to your shoe?" "We're running out of time." "What happened to your shoe?" "Don't ask." "What happened to your shoe?" "Don't ask." "This is all legit, right?" "Don't ask." "This is all legit, right?" "'Cause I want to keep both." "This is all legit, right?" "'Cause I want to keep both." "I mean, I'm the leader and done 'cause I want to keep both." "I mean, I'm the leader and done most of the work keeping these" "I mean, I'm the leader and done most of the work keeping these other bitches in line." "Most of the work keeping these other bitches in line." "Now, ashley, my dear, one other bitches in line." "Now, ashley, my dear, one mustn't be too greedy." "Now, ashley, my dear, one mustn't be too greedy." "Why don't you go try those on in mustn't be too greedy." "Why don't you go try those on in the bathroom where the light is why don't you go try those on in the bathroom where the light is better?" "The bathroom where the light is better?" "Jillian, go help her, will you?" "Better?" "Jillian, go help her, will you?" "Fine." "Jillian, go help her, will you?" "Fine." "Come on, mom." "Let's go." "Fine." "Come on, mom." "Let's go." "Mm-hmm." "Come on, mom." "Let's go." "Mm-hmm." "Don't try to cop in my swag." "Mm-hmm." "Don't try to cop in my swag." "Right?" "[Chuckles]" "Don't try to cop in my swag." "Right?" "[Chuckles] Oh, an elegant choice." "Right?" "[Chuckles] Oh, an elegant choice." "But let me give you just one oh, an elegant choice." "But let me give you just one more to try before you make your but let me give you just one more to try before you make your final decision." "More to try before you make your final decision." "Oh, I don't know." "Final decision." "Oh, I don't know." "I think this one might be a oh, I don't know." "I think this one might be a little too "headbangers ball"" "I think this one might be a little too "headbangers ball" for me." "Little too "headbangers ball" for me." "Hmm." "Funny." "For me." "Hmm." "Funny." "I've dreamed about you wearing hmm." "Funny." "I've dreamed about you wearing this one since the day we met." "I've dreamed about you wearing this one since the day we met. [Choking]" "[Both screaming] Check it, chicas." "This shit is luxury, okay?" "Check it, chicas." "This shit is luxury, okay?" "Um, what's going on?" "This shit is luxury, okay?" "Um, what's going on?" "Did that dumb bitch pass out on um, what's going on?" "Did that dumb bitch pass out on one glass of champagne again?" "[Thunder rumbles] Paul, over here." "Here goes nothing." "I want to see liz!" "I need to talk to -- mom, how could you do this to" "I need to talk to -- mom, how could you do this to me?" "Mom, how could you do this to me?" "This is so fucking ghetto!" "Me?" "This is so fucking ghetto!" "Sorry, dear, but this is the this is so fucking ghetto!" "Sorry, dear, but this is the only way." "Sorry, dear, but this is the only way." "Look at how young and beautiful only way." "Look at how young and beautiful I am." "Look at how young and beautiful I am." "No man will ever leave me again." "I am." "No man will ever leave me again." "We need your virgin blood." "No man will ever leave me again." "We need your virgin blood." "So that's why you had me lead we need your virgin blood." "So that's why you had me lead that stupid club?" "So that's why you had me lead that stupid club?" "I'm gonna die a virgin because that stupid club?" "I'm gonna die a virgin because of your bullshit midlife crisis!" "I'm gonna die a virgin because of your bullshit midlife crisis!" "God, I'm so over this!" "Of your bullshit midlife crisis!" "God, I'm so over this!" "Wait." "God, I'm so over this!" "Wait." "I didn't wait." "Wait." "I didn't wait." "I'm not a virgin." "I didn't wait." "I'm not a virgin." "Mom, ash, I'm not a virgin!" "I'm not a virgin." "Mom, ash, I'm not a virgin!" "I hooked up with travis last mom, ash, I'm not a virgin!" "I hooked up with travis last night!" "I hooked up with travis last night!" "Shut up, you liar." "Night!" "Shut up, you liar." "I'm not lying!" "Shut up, you liar." "I'm not lying!" "I totally fucked up like you" "I'm not lying!" "I totally fucked up like you said I would, and travis said no" "I totally fucked up like you said I would, and travis said no one would know the difference." "Said I would, and travis said no one would know the difference." "We both had full-on triple-x one would know the difference." "We both had full-on triple-x sex!" "We both had full-on triple-x sex!" "[Chuckles]" "Sex!" "[Chuckles] I didn't authorize that!" "[Chuckles] I didn't authorize that!" "Ash, I am not saying it's" "I didn't authorize that!" "Ash, I am not saying it's wrong to be pissed off, but ash, I am not saying it's wrong to be pissed off, but maybe right now we should try wrong to be pissed off, but maybe right now we should try and bond together and find a way" "maybe right now we should try and bond together and find a way out of here." "And bond together and find a way out of here." "Shut up, noemi." "Out of here." "Shut up, noemi." "Got enough of that mariachi shut up, noemi." "Got enough of that mariachi kumbaya shit to last me a got enough of that mariachi kumbaya shit to last me a lifetime at your cheesy-ass kumbaya shit to last me a lifetime at your cheesy-ass quinceañera." "Lifetime at your cheesy-ass quinceañera." "Excuse me?" "Quinceañera." "Excuse me?" "You heard me, you stupid excuse me?" "You heard me, you stupid beaner!" "You heard me, you stupid beaner!" "Um, some of us were actually beaner!" "Um, some of us were actually born in this country and don't um, some of us were actually born in this country and don't have a "made in china" stamped born in this country and don't have a "made in china" stamped on our ass!" "Have a "made in china" stamped on our ass!" "I'm korean!" "On our ass!" "I'm korean!" "[Korean accent] Oh, so" "I'm korean!" "[Korean accent] Oh, so sorry!" "[Korean accent] Oh, so sorry!" "All look same!" "Sorry!" "All look same!" "Well, at least no one's ever all look same!" "Well, at least no one's ever asked me for my papers in this well, at least no one's ever asked me for my papers in this town!" "Asked me for my papers in this town!" "I'd rather be mistaken for a town!" "I'd rather be mistaken for a tourist than someone driving" "I'd rather be mistaken for a tourist than someone driving across the border to clean tourist than someone driving across the border to clean toilets!" "Across the border to clean toilets!" "[Normal voice] I am gonna toilets!" "[Normal voice] I am gonna cut you, you fucking alien!" "[Normal voice] I am gonna cut you, you fucking alien!" "Silence!" "Cut you, you fucking alien!" "Silence!" "[Gasps]" "Silence!" "[Gasps] [Choking]" "[Gasps] [Choking] [Gasping]" "[Choking] [Gasping] Let's find out the truth with [gasping] Let's find out the truth with this one." "Let's find out the truth with this one." "[Sizzling]" "This one." "[Sizzling] You stupid little harlot!" "[Sizzling] You stupid little harlot!" "No matter." "You stupid little harlot!" "No matter." "Ilona, bring me that one." "No matter." "Ilona, bring me that one." "No!" "Ilona, bring me that one." "No!" "You said you loved me!" "No!" "You said you loved me!" "It's time to complete the you said you loved me!" "It's time to complete the sacrifice." "It's time to complete the sacrifice." "I can't believe you didn't sacrifice." "I can't believe you didn't follow the pact, skeetch." "I can't believe you didn't follow the pact, skeetch." "You are so dead!" "Follow the pact, skeetch." "You are so dead!" "[Choking]" "[Thunder crashes]" "[Coughs] [Sniffs]" "[Trickling] [Coughs] [Gasps]" "[Coughs] [Gasps] [Gasps]" "Oh, my god." "[Clatter] Idiot gardener." "[Clatter] Idiot gardener." "Yeah." "Idiot gardener." "Yeah." "They heard that." "Yeah." "They heard that." "Never mind." "They heard that." "Never mind." "Our fifth and final virgin has never mind." "Our fifth and final virgin has arrived." "Our fifth and final virgin has arrived." "You three." "Arrived." "You three." "Get her and bring her to me." "You three." "Get her and bring her to me." "Hurry!" "Get her and bring her to me." "Hurry!" "Time is running out!" "S-so..." "I guess I'm no use to you, so I can " " I can go, right?" "You, so I can " " I can go, right?" "Sorry, deary." "Right?" "Sorry, deary." "[Body thuds]" "Sorry, deary." "[Body thuds] I don't like leaving loose ends." "Judy, you go that way." "Jan, come with me." "Excellent." "I always took you for a warrior princess." "I always took you for a warrior princess." "Let me take care of the real princess." "Let me take care of the real housewives of san griento." "Let me take care of the real housewives of san griento." "You get upstairs and find housewives of san griento." "You get upstairs and find katharine." "You get upstairs and find katharine." "Xena, don't argue." "Katharine." "Xena, don't argue." "Take spirit and go." "[Whistles] All right, you botox bitches." "Let's dance!" "All right, you botox bitches." "Let's dance!" "[Demonic snarling]" "Let's dance!" "[Demonic snarling] Oh, shit." "[Demonic snarling] Oh, shit." "Please don't let her kill me." "Oh, shit." "Please don't let her kill me." "It's no use." "Please don't let her kill me." "It's no use." "You do not know the strength of it's no use." "You do not know the strength of her power." "You do not know the strength of her power." "Accept your fate." "Her power." "Accept your fate." "You cannot get away." "Accept your fate." "You cannot get away." "And now it is time to you cannot get away." "And now it is time to complete these black rites as and now it is time to complete these black rites as the midnight hour draws near." "Complete these black rites as the midnight hour draws near." "I make this unholy sacrifice of the midnight hour draws near." "I make this unholy sacrifice of alban elved to the" "I make this unholy sacrifice of alban elved to the prince of darkness." "Alban elved to the prince of darkness." "Dark lord, restore my youth and prince of darkness." "Dark lord, restore my youth and my beauty, and I will continue dark lord, restore my youth and my beauty, and I will continue to serve only you forever." "Not so fast, you eurotrash hell whore." "Leah!" "Hell whore." "Leah!" "Leah." "Leah!" "Leah." "You little brat." "Leah." "You little brat." "I knew you'd make an appearance you little brat." "I knew you'd make an appearance here tonight, just as your" "I knew you'd make an appearance here tonight, just as your ancestor did on this night so here tonight, just as your ancestor did on this night so many moons ago." "Ancestor did on this night so many moons ago." "Aah!" "Many moons ago." "Aah!" "What does that mean?" "Aah!" "What does that mean?" "I knew I recognized your what does that mean?" "I knew I recognized your bloodline the moment I saw you," "I knew I recognized your bloodline the moment I saw you, cousin." "Bloodline the moment I saw you, cousin." "Cousin?" "Cousin." "Cousin?" "Yes." "Cousin?" "Yes." "Your friend leah is a direct yes." "Your friend leah is a direct descendant of your friend leah is a direct descendant of emperor matthias ii, who descendant of emperor matthias ii, who condemned me to death by walling emperor matthias ii, who condemned me to death by walling me inside my bedchamber." "Condemned me to death by walling me inside my bedchamber." "But my power was strong, and a me inside my bedchamber." "But my power was strong, and a fortnight after they buried me but my power was strong, and a fortnight after they buried me in the cold earth, my devoted fortnight after they buried me in the cold earth, my devoted coven brought me back." "In the cold earth, my devoted coven brought me back." "They hid me for many years until coven brought me back." "They hid me for many years until I could reclaim the castle and they hid me for many years until I could reclaim the castle and continue this unholy ritual that" "I could reclaim the castle and continue this unholy ritual that has given me eternal life." "Continue this unholy ritual that has given me eternal life." "Ah!" "Has given me eternal life." "Ah!" "No!" "Ah!" "No!" "And now I shall take no!" "And now I shall take especially sweet revenge by and now I shall take especially sweet revenge by bathing in the blood of my especially sweet revenge by bathing in the blood of my enemy's bathing in the blood of my enemy's great-great-granddaughter." "Enemy's great-great-granddaughter." "Leah!" "Great-great-granddaughter." "Leah!" "Go for it, bitch." "Leah!" "Go for it, bitch." "You know, I thought you might go for it, bitch." "You know, I thought you might try that tonight, so I made it a you know, I thought you might try that tonight, so I made it a point to lose my precious try that tonight, so I made it a point to lose my precious virginity before stopping by." "Point to lose my precious virginity before stopping by." "You did?" "Virginity before stopping by." "You did?" "Was it with paul?" "You did?" "Was it with paul?" "You bet it was." "Was it with paul?" "You bet it was." "Oh, wow." "Good for you." "You bet it was." "Oh, wow." "Good for you." "Silence!" "Oh, wow." "Good for you." "Silence!" "No matter." "Silence!" "No matter." "I have other ways of torturing no matter." "I have other ways of torturing you." "Paul!" "[Hisses] Leah!" "[Hisses] Leah!" "[Choking]" "[Body thuds] Before you suffer a slow and painful death of my choosing, before you suffer a slow and painful death of my choosing, you can watch as I bathe in the painful death of my choosing, you can watch as I bathe in the blood of your sweet little" "you can watch as I bathe in the blood of your sweet little friend here." "Blood of your sweet little friend here." "Not a chance." "What's the point killing her?" "By my count, you're still a virgin short, and your time's by my count, you're still a virgin short, and your time's up, countess." "Virgin short, and your time's up, countess." "Oh, no, my dear." "Up, countess." "Oh, no, my dear." "I always carry a spare with me oh, no, my dear." "I always carry a spare with me just in case." "I always carry a spare with me just in case." "[Gasps]" "Just in case. [Gasps] No, you promised me I could [gasps] No, you promised me I could finally go home!" "No, you promised me I could finally go home!" "Aww." "Finally go home!" "Aww." "My poor, sweet girl." "Aww." "My poor, sweet girl." "[Demonic voice] Don't you know my poor, sweet girl. [Demonic voice] Don't you know by now that my promises are made [demonic voice] Don't you know by now that my promises are made to be broken?" "[Gasps]" "No!" "Aah!" "Save her, please!" "Die now then if you must." "But die knowing that I have die now then if you must." "But die knowing that I have triumphed once again." "But die knowing that I have triumphed once again." "You can save all of us triumphed once again." "You can save all of us and yourself." "You can save all of us and yourself." "I know you can!" "Leah!" "[Shrieks] [Both screaming]" "[Sighs] [Gasps, screams] [Gasps]" "[Gasps, screams] [Gasps] [Screaming]" "Paul?" "Paul?" "Paul?" "Paul?" "Paul?" "[Exhales deeply]" "Paul?" "[Exhales deeply] Are you okay?" "[Exhales deeply] Are you okay?" "Yeah." "Are you okay?" "Yeah." "I think so." "You?" "Yeah." "I think so." "You?" "[Chuckles]" "I think so." "You?" "[Chuckles] Yeah." "Looks like you took names and kicked ass." "Knew you would." "Kicked ass." "Knew you would." "Come here." "You are the great one." "You are the savior of us all." "What?" "No." "You are the savior of us all." "What?" "No." "Oh, my god." "Get up." "What?" "No." "Oh, my god." "Get up." "I never could have done that oh, my god." "Get up." "I never could have done that without your help." "I never could have done that without your help." "Yeah, ilona." "Without your help." "Yeah, ilona." "You're the great one." "Yeah, ilona." "You're the great one." "I'm so sorry I didn't help you're the great one." "I'm so sorry I didn't help you before." "I'm so sorry I didn't help you before." "I hope you and god will forgive you before." "I hope you and god will forgive me." "I hope you and god will forgive me." "It's okay." "Me." "It's okay." "I understand." "It's okay." "I understand." "You were scared." "I understand." "You were scared." "Both of you must travel to my you were scared." "Both of you must travel to my village, where so many were both of you must travel to my village, where so many were taken by that devil woman." "Village, where so many were taken by that devil woman." "You'll be treated like queens taken by that devil woman." "You'll be treated like queens there and celebrated for you'll be treated like queens there and celebrated for centuries." "There and celebrated for centuries." "Why don't we just get out of centuries." "Why don't we just get out of here?" "Why don't we just get out of here?" "We can plan our summer vacation here?" "We can plan our summer vacation later." "We can plan our summer vacation later." "Yeah." "Good idea." "Later." "Yeah." "Good idea." "Come with us." "Yeah." "Good idea." "Come with us." "I would love to." "Come with us." "I would love to. [Chuckles]" "♪ Ah, oh ♪ ah, oh ♪ ah, oh" "♪ ah, oh ♪ ah, oh ♪ ah, oh" "♪ ah, oh ♪ ah, oh ♪ remember the girl who moved to" "♪ ah, oh ♪ remember the girl who moved to california ♪" "♪ remember the girl who moved to california ♪ ♪ weren't sad to see her leave california ♪ ♪ weren't sad to see her leave ♪ her claim to fame was the boys" "♪ weren't sad to see her leave ♪ her claim to fame was the boys that she, ah ♪" "♪ her claim to fame was the boys that she, ah ♪ ♪ she was cockier than you can that she, ah ♪ ♪ she was cockier than you can believe ♪" "♪ she was cockier than you can believe ♪ hey, leah." "Believe ♪ hey, leah." "So, about that rain check for hey, leah." "So, about that rain check for existential feminism..." "So, about that rain check for existential feminism..." "Tonight at 7:00 work for you?" "Existential feminism..." "Tonight at 7:00 work for you?" "Maybe we can touch on some of tonight at 7:00 work for you?" "Maybe we can touch on some of those themes we explored last maybe we can touch on some of those themes we explored last time." "Those themes we explored last time." "[Chuckles]" "Time." "[Chuckles] And here I thought you were just [chuckles] And here I thought you were just using my fine, young ass to save and here I thought you were just using my fine, young ass to save yours." "Using my fine, young ass to save yours." "Oh." "It's a date, then." "Smooth, my man." "Very smooth." "Yeah." "Very smooth." "Yeah." "Hey, old buddy, old pal." "Yeah." "Hey, old buddy, old pal." "Hey!" "Hey, old buddy, old pal." "Hey!" "I'll talk to you guys later, hey!" "I'll talk to you guys later, okay?" "I'll talk to you guys later, okay?" "So, guess what." "Okay?" "So, guess what." "What?" "So, guess what." "What?" "I checked out the euro passes what?" "I checked out the euro passes on the internet last night, and" "I checked out the euro passes on the internet last night, and I found a ton of cheap hostels." "On the internet last night, and I found a ton of cheap hostels." "Excellent." "I found a ton of cheap hostels." "Excellent." "This summer is going to be excellent." "This summer is going to be totally sweet." "This summer is going to be totally sweet." "And, hey, listen, if it's too totally sweet." "And, hey, listen, if it's too freaky for you to go visit her and, hey, listen, if it's too freaky for you to go visit her castle, you can totally stay in freaky for you to go visit her castle, you can totally stay in budapest while I make the" "castle, you can totally stay in budapest while I make the trip -- if you want." "Budapest while I make the trip -- if you want." "Now, no." "I want to go." "Trip -- if you want." "Now, no." "I want to go." "And besides, after everything I now, no." "I want to go." "And besides, after everything I put you through, I'm never gonna and besides, after everything I put you through, I'm never gonna let you down again, okay?" "Put you through, I'm never gonna let you down again, okay?" "Kath, you don't have to let you down again, okay?" "Kath, you don't have to apologize." "Kath, you don't have to apologize." "I know." "I know." "Apologize." "I know." "I know." "But look, I just want you to" "I know." "I know." "But look, I just want you to know that everything that's but look, I just want you to know that everything that's happened has made me stronger, know that everything that's happened has made me stronger, and you don't have to protect me" "happened has made me stronger, and you don't have to protect me anymore." "And you don't have to protect me anymore." "From now on, we stand tough anymore." "From now on, we stand tough together." "From now on, we stand tough together." "Deal?" "Together." "Deal?" "Deal." "Deal?" "Deal." "And, um, besides, you know, deal." "And, um, besides, you know, we're gonna be the guests of and, um, besides, you know, we're gonna be the guests of honor at ilona's village, and I we're gonna be the guests of honor at ilona's village, and I don't want to miss that." "Honor at ilona's village, and I don't want to miss that." "You still maxing out your don't want to miss that." "You still maxing out your monthly minutes with that chick you still maxing out your monthly minutes with that chick or what?" "Monthly minutes with that chick or what?" "Yeah." "Or what?" "Yeah." "I guess I am la lesbo de yeah." "I guess I am la lesbo de san griento after all." "I guess I am la lesbo de san griento after all." "Yeah, the one thing the san griento after all." "Yeah, the one thing the hiltons got right." "Yeah, the one thing the hiltons got right." "Yeah, well, that and you're hiltons got right." "Yeah, well, that and you're still way more butch than me." "Yeah, well, that and you're still way more butch than me." "Oh!" "Whatever!" "Still way more butch than me." "Oh!" "Whatever!" "Just lucky I found a new bottom oh!" "Whatever!" "Just lucky I found a new bottom to push around." "Just lucky I found a new bottom to push around." "I know." "To push around." "I know." "I mean, who knew some people" "I know." "I mean, who knew some people actually liked negative and" "I mean, who knew some people actually liked negative and pissy?" "Actually liked negative and pissy?" "Heathen whore is the new pissy?" "Heathen whore is the new black, baby." "Heathen whore is the new black, baby." "Oh, ba-dum!" "Black, baby." "Oh, ba-dum!" "Both:" "Ching!" "Oh, ba-dum!" "Both:" "Ching!" "[Both laugh]" "[Up-tempo music plays] [Singing in spanish]" "♪ I dream for you ♪ and drink for you ♪ and I'm so happy" "♪ and drink for you ♪ and I'm so happy ♪ please, it's not true" "♪ and I'm so happy ♪ please, it's not true [Singing in spanish]" "♪ I dream for you ♪ and drink for you ♪ and I'm so happy" "♪ and drink for you ♪ and I'm so happy ♪ please, it's not true" "♪ and I'm so happy ♪ please, it's not true ♪ please, it's not true" "♪ please, it's not true ♪ please, it's not true ♪ please, it's not tru-u-u-u-e [singing in spanish]"