"No, Harry." "Not that." "No, I don't wanna see that." "Harry!" "I have here a copy of your hotel registration." "Now you too can be beautiful and sexually desirable like me" "Is this your signature?" "I refuse to answer." "...instead of being that fat, disgusting, foul-breathed..." " slimy, wallowing sow that you are." "Commence evasive zig-zag pattern, Commander." "Set extra lookouts." "Aye, aye" " Maybe we blondes do have more fun." " Feel big." "Drink pig." "No, Harry." "I don't like films on TV." "They always cut them to pieces." "Get the crime thing, will ya, Harry?" "I'm tryin'." "I'm tryin'." "General Quarters." "All hands on" "You'll never lose your man if you drink Fat Cola" "No, Harry." "You will never lose your man if you drink Fat Cola" "You'll never have to worry about losing him" "Puff, puff, puff, puff Puff, puff, puff" "If you want to have a girly you must puff, puff, puff" "Harry, I want the crime thing." "I warn you again that you are under oath." "There it is." "I refuse to answer on the grounds it may tend" " It's Charlie!" "to incriminate me." "He looks a lot older now than" " Hey!" " Get a gun for everyone in your family." "Remember, for family fun, get your gun." "Come on, Harry." "I don't wanna see this." "I wanna see Charlie!" "Well, I don't." "Switch it back, Harry." "I can't." "Tony took the control gizmo." "Tony!" "I don't wanna see your Charlie." "Do you mind?" "I do mind." "Once in a million years there's something I wanna see." "I wanna see the crime thing." "Tough." "Okay." "War." "You need a deodorant Deodorant" "I said a brand-new scent Deodorant I need a brand-new scent" "New Daisy Chain Deodorant" "Now, you were seen by some 20 witnesses." " Medical science has proven  ... refuse to answer on- ...approved toothpaste with wonder ingredient C.I.A. 60  ... suggest that you  ..." "dandruff, athletes' foot and the common" " And I warn you again that you're under- - ... suffer aches and pains?" " Upset stomach?" "Ulcers?" " ... that you are under oath." " ... disease, cancer, birth defects - ... to answer on grounds  ... mental illness, ringworm, poison ivy- ...tooth decay, acne, dandruff, athletes'  ... refuse to answer on grounds  ... measles, brain tumor" "I'm warning you." "I might have to cite you for contempt of the senate." "...small pox, syphilis, plague, influ  ... may tend to incriminate  ... hepatitis and St. Vitus' dance?" "I warn you again" "Well, you're in luck, friend." "Pick a pack of Peters' Perfidious Pink Pacifying Placebo Pills." " ... refuse to answer on- - ... never lets ya down, down, down, but picks you up, up" "...up- up- up" "You are Mario Benedict" "Better known as "Eggs"?" "I refuse to answer on the grounds it may tend to incriminate me." "And does your refusal to answer have anything to do with those bandages?" "What bandages?" "Looking through this hospital report" "There are 23 bullet holes hidden under those bandages." "Well, I was cleaning my gun and it went off." " Twenty-three times?" " Believe me, I was just as surprised as you are, Senator." "When do we eat around here?" "It's 8:00, for cryin' out loud." "Dinner is when I finish watching this." "It's like a crummy class reunion - "Flo's beaus of 1952."" "Hey, Tony!" "Whitey Farrell." "...grounds that it may tend to incriminate me." "He looks 103 years old." "He hasn't aged a day." "I refuse to answer on the grounds that it may" "You always did go for Whitey, didn't you?" "It wasn't Whitey." "I don't give a damn who it was." "I don't want to know." "All I want is something to eat." "I can make you a nice Western omelet - tend to incriminate me." "It wasn't Benedict?" "It wasn't Benedict." "What the hell do I care?" "I'm not the suspicious kind - signature?" "If I was, would I have married a dame that's three months' pregnant?" "...answer on the grounds that it may tend to incriminate me." "I might have to cite you for contempt." "She just does that to get my goat." "Should have never got married." "Who needs it?" "Oh, no, Tony." "You're much better off." "Believe me." "I ought to know." "I go home at night- Nothin'." "No kids, no yelling'- Nothin'." "What do you think, Harry?" "About what?" "Darlene" " Who does she look like?" "Flo." "What are you talkin' about?" "Flo" " She doesn't have Flo's mouth." "Now, who does her mouth remind you of?" "She's got your guts, Tony." "Yeah." "Tony." "Tony!" " What?" "It's the Mallow brothers." "What do you mean, the Mallow brothers?" "I'm tellin' you, that's their car." "I'd know it anywhere." "A '37 Rolls." " So it's a '37 Rolls." " Tony, that yellow stripe" "They had it done special." "I know" "I" " I drove them for six months." "They don't even know where I am." "They've been in Puerto Rico for 20 years." "You know where they are." "Let's get the hardware." "And as one witness follows another," "Senator Humble is getting the same answer..." "Senator Kefauver got in 1950 and 1951, and Senator McClellan got" "Would you look someplace else, for cryin' out loud?" " in 1963 and 1964" "The Fifth Amendment." "It's a battle with you!" "There are rumors of a break, however, connected with the mysterious disappearance of George "Blue Chips" Packard." "But so far the government is keeping a tight lip." "Where's the light?" "Look out." "All right, I got the hardware, Harry." "Come on." "Tony!" "Tony!" "Tony!" "It's always a battle with you." "Will you go downstairs?" "They must have a smoke bomb." "Go ahead." "Go ahead." "You ruined a perfectly good pan." "This is Teflon, Tony." "No time for this, Flo." "The Mallow brothers are out there." "Go on." "The Mallow brothers?" "Shut up." "Would you find yourself another tree, for" "But what do you want to be?" "You know what I wanna be?" "What?" "Nothin'." "You dig?" "It's my daughter." "What is she doin' with the Mallow" " Shut up." "Come on." "Man, how I wish I could be nothin'." "What?" "Nothin'." "Nothing?" "If you can't dig nothing, you can't dig anything." "You dig?" "You mean, if I could be nothing, I would be everything?" "You dig." "I mean, that's why the establishment cats are not makin' it." "They're diggin' the 9:00-to-5:00 bag" " Rush of the city." "What's happening in the news instead of what's happening in themselves." "Tony, what is she" " Shh!" "You dig?" "Now I see what you mean." "Everything we need is right here inside ourselves." "Hey, you dig." "I mean, like, the vibrations are there, dewdrop." "You know, I really think we could make it, you and I." " I really feel we could make it." "Tony, it's not a Mallow brother." "It's an Indian." "He's not an Indian." "He's bleeding." " Tony, that's, like, it's one of those hippies." " That's it." "And no lousy hippie is gonna make it with my daughter." "Daddy, that's not what he meant." "I just met him in town." "I know what he meant." "He wanted to" "Daddy, I don't think he even knows what he wants." "What is he, a faggot?" "What's all this?" "Darlene?" "Who's this?" "It's a hippie." "She's bringin' home hippies now." "Will somebody please help him?" "He's bleeding, for cryin' out loud." "Tony, come on." "You stay out of this, Flo." "You spoiled her rotten already." "I spoiled her?" "I spoiled her rotten?" "Yes." "Look at her." "Look at how she dresses." "She doesn't even wear lipstick." "Come on, Tony." "He's bleeding." "No daughter of mine is gonna marry any hippie." "Who's talking about marriage, for heaven's sake?" "Hippies don't even get married." "Is that any better?" "Groovy." " Who's your tailor, Sittin' Bull?" " Once more, man." "You heard me." "What do you go around dressed like that for?" "Hey, we can't all be undertakers, man." " Don't push me, punk." " Tony!" "It's okay." "Violence is the sign language of the inarticulate." "What is he talkin' about?" "Do you know what he's talkin' about?" "Of course." "Stash is only interested in nothing." "He isn't taken in by our false values." "So how come you're drivin' a beat-up Rolls-Royce?" "Why aren't you drivin' a beat-up Ford?" "Will somebody answer the door, for cryin' out loud?" "How come, Mr. Stash?" "How does that go along with your values?" "Well, I don't believe it." "Hechy!" "Hechy!" "Tony, look who's here." "Hechy." "Oh, uh, yeah." "I forgot you were goin' to drop in tonight." "Let's go in the other room, where we can talk." "For cryin' out loud." "Tony, what" "What do you mean, comin' over to this house?" "Who's he?" "That's Angie." "Angie?" "The last time I saw him he was" "Now he runs Oregon and Idaho." "He's in the business, huh?" "Next year he gets the whole Northwest." "Next year Darlene goes to Vassar." "That her in there?" "Very attractive." "Say, is that why you came tonight?" "To introduce the two kids?" "No." "Tony" "God summons you." "Tonight." "What is this, a gag?" "God has a little job for you, Tony." "Whoa, no." "Nothin' doin'." "I'm retired." "He let me retire 17 years ago, when I married Flo." "He released me from his jurisdiction." "You're never out of his jurisdiction." "He even gave me my new name." "He said, "You wanna go legit?" "Okay." "What's more legit than Banks?"" "That's how I got my name" " Tony Banks." "That's right." "I was there." "Tony, Packard is turning state's evidence." "Packard?" "He can hurt us bad, Tony." "He's power-hungry." "He thinks he can take over." " You gotta kiss 'im, Tony." " Are you nuts or somethin'?" "Packard used to be my best friend." "He was Darlene's godfather, for God's sake." "That's why God needs you." "You're the only one Packard won't suspect." "Oh, no." "If it's gotta be done, somebody else is gonna do it." "I saved the tree once, remember?" "If it wasn't for me, the whole organization... would have been finished 17 years ago." "Packard's in Rock Island Federal Pen." "Maximum security." "I'm not gonna do it." "Besides, how could I get to him if he's in the pen?" "We get you in, we get you out." "Nobody can be arrested, tried and sentenced that fast." "It's impossible." "Everything's possible when God wants it." "Quick, quick, quick!" "Hechy, I'm a member of the town council." "Darlene is goin' to Vassar next year." "Damn it, Tony, when God says you go, you go." "When God says you go, you go." "You just can't walk in here and tell me to kiss Packard, and expect me to give up everything I've been working for all these years?" "Tony, look, we're wasting time." "Let's go." "Come on now Tony." "You used to be good pals." "When?" "He was a messenger." "He's still a messenger." "Okay." "I gave you the message." "The answer is no." "You know God don't take such an answer." "Well, this time he'll just have to." "In case you change your mind, we'll be waitin' for you at Pier, uh" "It used to be Pier 17." "We'll be there until it starts gettin' light." "You'll be wasting your time." "Good night, Mr. Banks." "Get in the house." "Good night, Tony." "Good night." "Yeah?" "Never mind, never mind." "What is it?" "That's impossible." "I turned 'em off myself." "All right, all right." "I'll take care of it." "Who was that?" "I gotta go down to the office." "Some idiot left everything on." "All right, Stanley." "Mmm." "Stanley?" "Stanley who?" "Mmm." "Pleasant dreams." "Mmm." "Get rid of the car." "One little, two little three little Indians" "Four little, five little six little Indians" "Seven little, eight little nine little Indians" "Ten little Indian boys" "Hey, what's happening?" "Hi, Stash." "Hi, Stash." "Hi, Stash." "Hey, Stash." "Hey, baby." "How are you?" "Geronimo, this is Darlene." "Hello." "Hello." "Hello." "This is Iris, and various assorted beautiful people." "Greetings." "Hi." "Hi." "Hey, man, take her next, huh?" "Sure." "Take your clothes off." "Take my clothes off?" "Sure." "The human body's a beautiful thing." "One little, two little three little Indians" "Four little, five little six little Indians" "Seven little, eight little nine little Indians" "Ten little Indian boys" "One little, two little three little Indians four little" "Hey, man, the cops." "Keep on playing." "Come on, get up." "Wow." "I love you." "I really love you." "Hey, are you a boy or a girl?" "A girl." "Good. 'Cause I'm a boy." "Very funny." "Come on." "Get up." "Move it." "You know, man, nowadays you can't tell the boys from the girls." "Come on." "Move it, I said." "Look, man." "We're paid up." "We got 45 minutes left." "This ain't for sleepin'." "Move 'em." "Come on." "Get up." "Move it, I said!" "All right, come on." "Get up or go to jail." "With guns and drums and drums and guns" "Haroo, haroo" "With your guns and drums and drums and guns" "Haroo, haroo" "With your guns and drums and your drums and guns" "The enemy nearly slew ya" "Oh, my darlin' dear you look so queer" "Johnny, I hardly knew ya" "Oh, where are them legs that used to run" "Haroo, haroo" "Oh, where are them legs that used to run" "Haroo, haroo" " Stash?" "Go ahead." " Oh, where are them legs that used to run" "When you- Nobody move." "Who's in charge here?" "Nobody, man." ""In charge of" means authority, and authority means power." "You know what they say about power." "Power corrupts." "Amen." "Hey, I love you, man." "Watch it." "We all love you." "Contempt of the law." "Make a note of that, Perkins." "Okay, search the place." "You're all under arrest." " With your guns and drums" "Come on, let's go." "Move on." "Let's go." "Drums and guns Haroo, haroo" "Come on." "Hey, man." "And as for this poster" "I'm sure that you ladies who have consented to serve on this special committee... will agree that it has a definite place... in our beautiful, beloved township of Santa del Mar." "Definitely, Mayor." "My husband has suggested that we use this... for the basis of our anti-ugliness drive." "Ugliness is un-American." "I" " I-I see that an urgent matter is at hand, so if you ladies will excuse me" "Oh, of course." "Now, I do not know what brought you to my township, and I do not care to know." "I just wanna make one thing clear" "You're not wanted here." "We are proud of ourselves- our clean, upright citizens senior and junior." "We don't need you." "We don't want you." "You are a backwards step in the evolution of mankind." "When the citizens of Santa del Mar... elected me to this office- Hilda." "they gave me a mandate to- Hilda." "What?" " Is that Darlene?" "Of course not." "Really." "Don't you know your own daughter?" "They had this stuff on them." "Thank you." "Hmm." "Now, you were found with the following items in your possession:" "One bottle of" "Chinese bay leaves, Mayor." "Clink." "One bottle of birth control pills." "Those are mine." "And what about this?" "What about it?" "Hey, put that out." "Smell it." "Have a toke." "Go ahead." "Smell it." "Smells like- like" "Pumpkin." "All of you- and your pumpkins and your pills" "You will out of this township within the hour." "No, ma'am." "We have the constitutional right" "Not in my town." "Unlawful assembly for the purpose of causing a disturbance... is punishable by a 30-day jail sentence." "What shall it be, the highway or jail?" "You'd better make up your minds, and quick." "Something tells me we're not wanted." "God loves ya, Mayor." "Bye." "Darlene." "Darlene." "Good-bye, Mother." " I knew it was you." "Good-bye, Mother." " Darlene!" "Darlene, wait." "Darlene." "Darlene." "Wait a minute." "Darlene, I will not permit you to run off like this with these people." "What do you mean, "these people"?" "They're beautiful, loving people who don't mean any harm to anyone." "I just don't want you to do something you're going to be sorry for." "You're acting rashly." " I'm not acting rashly." "Let's go, Stash." " Darlene." "I'm going with them, Mother." " No, you're not." "You're both coming with me." " What?" "Well, since Darlene is so dead set on staying with you," "I guess the only way to make her come home is if you all come." "Hey, that's really groovy of you, Mrs. Banks." "Now we won't be hassled by the police." "No, but you'll be hassled by Mr. Banks." "I don't think he's gonna to like this." "Don't worry, Mother." "You show them the way, and we'll stop at the office and break the news to Daddy." "Hey, hey." "Knock it off in there." "All right, all right." "Come on, knock it off." "Quiet down, will ya?" "Will you shut up?" "Go on, get out of here." "Move on." "With your induction completed, please keep in mind that this penitentiary... has been reequipped with the most modern... electronic video and audio devices... in order to assist you in paying your debt to society." "After the regulation cleaning and dressing process, you will be guided to your assigned quarters." "Welcome." "Step into the induction stalls." "Remove all your clothes." "Place your clothing and valuables in the drawer." "Place your hand under the sign marked "bracelet. "" "Answer the following questions by pressing either "yes" or the no button." "Begin." "One:" "Do you have any need of a doctor?" "Two:" "Is your next of kin fully aware of your whereabouts?" "Three:" "Do you have one or more children?" "Someone hasn't pressed his buttons." "Hey, what's the matter?" "Those machines are silly." "Look, you just press yes or no." "But suppose my answer is "maybe"?" "This my bunk?" "Take the top shelf." "I'm Leech." "Phil Epowitz." "Glad to meet you, Tony." " You read?" " Shrink makes me." "Says it's a release." "I'm a recidivist." "What's that?" "Habitual criminal." "Been coming' here on and off since '51." "I'm supposed to be readin'." "Help!" "Help!" "I'm stuck!" "I'm stuck!" "Okay." "Okay." "The only kid in the cell block with his own personal stationery." "You painted this?" "No, I bought it." "What are you in for?" "I burned my draft card." "Very funny." "Which is mine?" "Take half the bottom shelf." "Half?" "There are three shelves." "Don't ask questions, kid, we'll get along." "Okay?" "You mean, you didn't wanna go in the army, like a draft dodger?" "I don't like that." "What are you, an anarchist or something?" "Don't you believe in America?" "I asked you a question." "Don't you believe in America?" "Yes." "I-I just don't agree with everything it does." "Like what?" "Like what?" "Like doin' your time in the army?" "Don't you believe in the Bill of Rights, kid?" "Please!" "I" " I just" " I just don't wanna talk about it now." "Okay?" "Mother, Daddy's gone." "Gone where?" "Nobody knows." "He hasn't been at work." "Nobody at the country club has seen him." "I even tried the barber shop." "He wasn't there?" "I just told you." "Next." "If only I could find a place" "Where smiling strangers knew our faces." "That's right." "I would take you there" "He said something about driving to Santa Barbara." "How come his car's still there?" "He flew." "To Santa Barbara?" "Twenty-three miles?" " We could wander free..." " Mother?" "I would take you there..." " No one's seen Harry either." "Mother, where are you going?" "Seems like such a waste of time" "Mother, what about Daddy?" "Just trying to unwind" "Ah, Mrs. Banks." "Have they entered by force?" "Do you require police protection?" "No, no." "Everything's fine." "These are my guests." "Mother, what's going on?" "I do think you should consider your neighbors, Mrs. Banks." "With them around, property values will nosedive on this street." "Talk it over with Darlene." "Talk what over?" "Mother, where are you going?" "Mother!" "If only there were time enough" "Or world enough or rhyme enough" "I would take you there Mother!" "Mother." "Worldwide Pop Festival." "Make love not war." "Who?" "Is there a Miss Banks here?" "I'll take it." "Hello?" "No, my mother's not here right now." "Can I take a message?" "Hold tight." "So this is Tony's girl, huh?" "Little Kiss-Kiss herself." "What do you mean?" "You and that Comanche looked like you were never comin' up for air." " Just who are you?" " The name's Angie." "We, uh, passed in the night" " Last night." "I can still close my eyes and see you." "Where do you get your dialogue, from old Valentines?" "Cute." "Very cute." "Listen." "Why don't you drop by sometime when you're in San Francisco?" "The Green Street Tower Apartments." "I thought you wanted to talk to my mother." "Just tell her that your old man had to go out of town." "Where is my father?" "Do you know?" "Baby, I know so much it's painful." "I remember when this place used to serve fresh vegetables from our own farm." "Now everything tastes like plastic bags." "Reddy-Freddy." "Ugh." "I'd like to have a piece of Reddy-Freddy's action, I'll tell you that." "Hiya, Tony." "Give my best to Flo." "I used to go with her before you came along." "I'm The Man, Tony." "How's Flo, hmm?" "Fine." "Still a good dancer?" "I didn't come here to talk about her dancing." "Okay, business." "They got closed-circuit TV here... with a deaf-mute reading' lips, so we talk like this." "Uh" " Uh, is this good enough?" "Shut up." "Leech will take care of your general health while you're here." "Right, Leech?" "Okay." "I need no bodyguard." "Just get me to you-know-who." "I wanna get the hell out of here." "You'll be out of here within one hour after you do the job." "In the meantime, nobody can get near 'im." "Nobody." "It's maximum maximum security." "What's the matter, Professor?" "You're not eating." "I" " I eat only brown rice." "Well, we'll get you all the brown rice you can eat." "They exercise Packard, don't they?" "If they do, we don't know where or when." "They even cook his food separately." " Then what am I doin' here?" " You're his best friend." " He'll see you if you ask him." " How?" "That's where the kid comes in." "This jerk?" "This jerk is a technical genius." "He helped develop the Latimer Process at Berkeley." "Hey, look, man, I don't know what this is all about, but I've dropped out of your gadget civilization." "I've renounced all science and technocracy." "Remember, Professor, we can make you 4-F permanently." "It's not a question of- What?" "Your hair don't conform." "Barber shop." "I protest." "You're violating the Bill of Rights" " Article Four, also known as the Fourth Amendment of the Constitution." "Are you here, sweetheart?" "Open the door and be glad, baby." "Come to Angie." "Oh, damn it." "Let go." "Stop pushing on it." "What the hell?" "Where's my Tony?" "What are you doin' here?" "Where is he?" "What's happened to him?" "You're bending the velvet." "It's something to do with the tree, isn't it?" "That's why you and Hechy came to the house." "Look, lady" "Go home and relax, huh?" "Bake a chocolate cake." "What does God want with him after all these years?" "Will you beat it already?" "I'm expectin' somebody." "Hey, this is sweet." "It's a lot plushier than when Hechy lived here." "The age of electronics." "If you ever feel like dancin'" "Yes, I really feel like dancing" "If you really feel like grooving" "Cut it out, will ya?" "Dance" "Dance." "If you really feel like dancing" "If you really feel" "Come on." "Come on." "On your way." "Uh-uh." "Oh, look, have a heart." "I've been lining up this deal for six weeks." "You're cute." "I know." "You know what?" "I bet you're a good dancer." "I'm a good everything." "Prove it." "Okay." "Where's my husband?" "Where's Tony?" "Hey, let go." "Tell me where he is." "Let go!" "What are you, some kind of nut?" "I hear ya, baby." "Now, look." "She's comin' up in the elevator, so you go down the stairs." "I'm not leavin'." "I wanna know what's goin' on." "I wanna see God." "You can't." "Take me to God." "I'm not leavin' until I find out what's going on." "Okay, okay, but please" " Wait outside until you see a redhead leave" "A beautiful redhead." "I'm not waitin' outside." "For the love of" " She'll be here in a second." "What are you doing?" "Guess." "She's here." "So?" "When shes sees what she'll see, she won't stay." "Please." "Just a minute, baby." "Hey!" "What is this?" "Just a minute." "Come on in, baby." "Where's my father?" "Tough Tony's kid?" "What are you doin' here?" "Why do you call him Tough Tony?" "And where is he?" "Look, I'm expecting somebody." "You gotta give a guy a little notice." "Where's my father?" "So on your way, huh?" "I'll call you." "This is wild." "It's small but... mine." "You're cute." "I know." "So are you." "Your doorbell's ringing." "I hear it." "I'll leave if you want me to." "Oh, no." "You just... stay right there." "This is a recorded message." "I am out and will call you when I get back." "Shh." "In a couple of days." "If you wanna leave a message, speak now." "Listen, you crumb." "I don't take this kind of treatment from nobody." "The next time you call me, just forget it." "Okay, buddy, move it." "I said move it." "You can't stay here." "Listen, you, get this crate out of here." "Please, Officer." "I'm sorry if I spoiled anything." "Nah." "She was just trying to sell me a set of encyclopedias." "Hey." "Well, to us." "To us." "Stand still, will ya?" "I wanna talk to ya." "I can't stay." "What?" "There's somebody waiting for me downstairs." "Call me." "Someone waiting?" "And you let me send her away?" "Do you know how long I've been workin' on that broad?" "Six weeks" " Six solid weeks." "Damn it!" "Angie, darling, has she gone?" "Hello, Mother." "Oh, it- Oh, hello." "Um, I was just, uh" "I thought something had happened to Daddy?" "Well, it has." "I mean, uh" "I mean, uh- Well, that's why I'm here." "It's all right." "I understand about such things." "I just think you might have found someone more mature." "Wait." "It's not what you think." "God sent for your father." "No!" "Not that God, dope." "Will you tell her about the tree, or do I?" "What are you talking about?" "What tree?" "All right." "See for yourself." "The tree." "That's me." "I run Oregon and Idaho." "I don't understand." "Your father was once part of the tree, but he quit before you were even born." " Nobody quits the tree." " Tony did." "Tony did." "Tony did." "You make it sound like he kicked a habit" "Like it's a disease or something." "Look at it." "This happens to be the most important organization in the world" "Except maybe for the Pentagon, and we're more efficient." "Do you know what would be going on in this country without the tree?" "Chaos, that's what." "Every hothead with an itchy finger would be extorting' somebody." "Every storekeeper with a plate glass window... wouldn't be able to sleep at night." "But with the tree, nobody has to worry." "A guy has a laundry- He knows it won't blow up." "A guy owns a restaurant on a highway" "He don't have to worry about the highway being detoured someplace else." "It's a protection racket, honey." "So what's wrong with protection?" "Ours is a violent society." "Stop mixing the girl up." "Look, the one at the top is God." "He sent for your father to do something." "I don't know what." "So I wanted to get to God to ask him to call it off, but the only way I could was if Angie took me." "So that's why I was doin'..." "what I was doin'." " Take us both to God." " Are you kiddin'?" "You want me walkin' around with my head under my arm?" "Please?" "I'll take one of you." "Okay." "Her." "My car's in the garage." "Well, we can go in Stash's car." "Look." "Yes, sir?" "These are my friends." "Yes, sir." "Down." "Let him down." "Uh, Stash, this is Angie." "Angie, this is Stash." "What's happening?" "What'd you say?" "Hey, listen to this." ""Gregory fought the impulse." ""He said no." "The impulse said yes." ""Then something gave way." ""He dug his heels into her." "He lashed her with the whip." "But the horse still wouldn't move. " Will you shut your yap?" "I'm trying to concentrate." "How's it comin', Professor?" "Okay." "I'm almost ready." "See you around, kid." "Thanks, darling." "Hey!" "Hey, wait up!" "Hey!" "No, wait a minute." "Hold it." "Wait a minute." "Wait a minute, Charlie." "It didn't go down a quarter of a point." "It's up a quarter." "Yeah, it's up." "Just don't let it happen again, all right?" "Excuse me, sir." "Thank you." "Now, look." "I want you to hold it until it goes up two and a half more points." "And then- More sugar next time." "Then I want you to sell it." "Then get me 1,000 shares of Seabrook." "Right." "Packard?" "Blue Chips?" "Yes?" "Packard." "Packard." "Blue Chips." "Can you hear me, Blue Chips?" "Even if he could hear you, he can't talk to you, Tony." "Tony!" "Packard." "Packard" "If you can hear me, touch the thing... with, uh- with the thing." "The thing with the thing?" "Here, Tony." "Let me." "Mr. Packard, if you can hear us, then take any piece of metal and touch it... to the speaker connection in the back of your TV." "You guys look ridiculous talking into a radio." "Why don't you shut up?" "Packard?" "Is it workin' or not?" "Touch the wire." "Touch the wire." "I am touching it." "I am touching the wire." "It works." "It works." "Professor, you're beautiful." "Boy, Blue Chips, it sure is good hearing your voice." "Tony, what the hell are you doing here?" "I thought you gave up the business." "Shh!" "Blue Chips, we're on the radio." "Tony, how did you rig a gimmick like this?" "You like it?" "I got a technical genius in my cell." "He can't play blackjack, but he can sure play the radio." "We could play here." "In your cell?" "You're a nut." "I can't come to your cell." "I can arrange it." "Sure, sure." "You wanna bet I can arrange it?" "You wanna bet?" "I wouldn't bet with you, Blue Chips." "You took me to the cleaners too often." "I'll give you 2-to-1." "Five-to-one." "You're on." "What's the bet?" "You name it." "No, you name it." "Five bills." "Two grand." " You're on." " Tony, why you wanna kiss me?" "Kiss you?" "Uh, what would I want to kiss you for?" "You're my friend." "I told you a long time ago, we could have taken God for the entire thing." "Now he's too big, and he's got you doing his dirty work." "It's disgusting." "I swear, I haven't seen God in years." "Who do you think you're talkin' to, for cryin' out loud?" " This is Tony." " I know this is Tony." "And I feel sorry for this is Tony, 'cause when God finds out this is Tony couldn't kiss this is Packard, he's gonna have a lead suit for this is Tony." "Blue Chips, I swear, you got the wrong idea." "I swear." "On your daughter's life?" "On your daughter's life?" "On my daughter's life." "I feel sorry for you, Tony." "Give my best to Flo and Darlene." "Over and out." "P.S." "I might be here longer... than I thought." "What are you doing?" "No, no, no!" "No" " Tony, sit down." "I am sittin'." "Okay, well then, stay "sitted"" " I" " I mean seated." "Now, Tony, have you ever heard of acid?" "Acid?" "Um, L.S.D." "It's a drug." "It's odorless, tasteless and colorless, and it makes you hallucinate." "What are you gettin' at?" "Um, acid is soaked into my stationery." "This is L.S.D.?" "Mm-hmm." "I read about that in the newspapers, for cryin' out loud." "All right now, come on." "Sit down." "Sit down." "Lie down." "All right now, you are going on a trip." "If you fight it, it can be a bad trip." "If you ride with the waves, it will be a good trip." "Garbaldo, I told you to keep this ship steady." " It is steady, sir." " Are you contradicting me?" "Sorry, sir." "You're right." "There's a strong wind coming from the..." "Northeast." "I don't care where it's from." "Stop it." "Ten thousand more you owe me." "Ten thousand more." "Ten thousand more I owe you." "Rack 'em up." "Yes?" "You've got visitors." "Visitors?" "Who?" "I'm not expecting any visitors." "Who are they?" "It's me, God." "It's that Angie." "Bright kid, but... stupid." "Hey, who are the girls you got with you?" "This one is a boy." "A boy?" "Go up and frisk the guy with him." "So now you're bringing guided tours to my yacht, huh?" "Suddenly you're in the travel business." "I'm sorry, sir." "Why don't you tell the whole world my longitude and latitude?" "This is Tough Tony's daughter." "Oh, of course." "Dorothy." "Yes." "Darlene." "Tough Tony's kid." "How's your mother?" "You know my mother?" "Sure." "She's quite a dame." "Well, I've come about my father." "You're a hippie, ain't you?" "If labeling is your thing, yes." "And what does a hippie want from God?" "A world where people can do their thing and not be hassled." "Where nobody's uptight or paranoid about being together." "So we can all groove, and dig ourselves for what we are" " Living things." " Very groovy." "Also, a safe place for butterflies... and organic supermarkets." "Better bodies for women." "What's wrong with my body?" " Do you like money?" " Who doesn't?" "I'll have a proposition for you tomorrow." "He's clean." "Will you please tell me what happened to my father?" "Of course." "Give her a hot bath, and send her in." "A hot bath?" "He's afraid of germs." "I still don't feel anything." "It takes a little while." "You'll know when it happens." "I don't feel a thing." "I'm tellin' ya, I don't feel anything." "You're makin' a damn fool out of me." "Some people can resist the effect of the drug, Tony." "You are very strong-willed." "You may have a high ego retention." "Most members of the establishment have." "They don't realize the beauty of life without ego." "They don't realize the beauty of an ego-less life." "I'm on a trip." "Tough Tony" "Your time has come, wherein all things... are like the void and cloudless sky, and the naked, spotless intellect... is like a transparent vacuum." "Professor, I'm scared." "You need not be frightened." "Just remember, wherever you go, you're still here." "Leech." "Leech." "Oh, Tough Tony, the time has come... to seek out the clear light." "The light is the flame of your life." "Your energy is the life process." "Do not fear it." "Surrender to it." "Join it." "It is part of you." "You are part of it." "Remember the final reality" "The all-good, the all-peaceful, the light, the radiance... that mind and body separate." " What's he see?" " Shh." "I see mathematics." " Mathematics!" " Mathematics?" "Shh." "He's got a loose screw." "Oh, no." "Oh, no." "I'm not playing your game." "Go ahead." "Drop." "Gone." "Wonderful." "Wonderful!" "Look for yourself now, Tony." "Find yourself in the water." "Daddy?" "No kid of mine could be that pretty." "Daddy." "No kid of mine could be that pretty." " Daddy?" " I have a right to know." "It's a father's right to know." "It's a father's right to know." "Give up half to stay up nights and worry about my Flo" "I'd rather live the simple life" "And think about my dough" "So look, my old pal Tony" "And see how much you've missed" "I can buy and sell a hundred girls" "And pay to have me kissed" " You?" " No comment." "No comment." "No comment." "No comment." "I refuse to answer on the grounds that- ...it may tend to incriminate somebody." " Daddy?" " Me?" "No, thank you." "No." "I've got a right to know." "It's a father's right to know." "Daddy?" "Would you please repeat the question?" "Who were you with the night of" "With you, honey boy." "You're my Daddy "Wad-ums. "" "And who were you with the night of" "Daddy?" "With you, Dickie Boom-Boom." "You're under oath." "I want the truth." "The truth is often stranger than" "Stranger than lots of things." "You really wanna know?" "All right." "I'll tell you." "No." "Don't tell me." "Don't tell me." "I don't care how many guys you've slept with." "Haven't you ever noticed her ears?" "She's got your ears." "She's got my ears." "She's got my ears." "She's got my ears" "She's got my ears She's got my ears" "She's got my ears." "Tony, I've been wanting to tell you this for a long time." "I think she looks like me." "Sorry, Tony." "It was just one of them things." "What's the matter now?" "He did it." "He lost his ego." "I want a flower." "Hey, Leech, give him a flower." "Huh?" "A flower." "Thank you, sweetheart." " Huh?" "Oh." "Would you, uh, like a little drinky?" "No, thanks." "How about a baked potato with sour cream?" "No." "Th-They're good." "Would you like to shoot a game of pool?" "Where's my father?" "Aw, don't worry about him." "I am worried." "Don't worry!" "Your old man don't hurt easy." "You know he once was the best torpedo in the business?" "Where is he?" "Well, he's in prison." "In prison?" "Yeah, what's so terrible about that?" "At least it's on solid ground." "At least they can shoot a game of pool." "My father in prison?" "Just for a few days." "I sent him there to knock off one of the inmates." "You" " To what?" "Like I said, he was the best torpedo in the business." "The fact that I sent him shows how much I think of him." "Believe me, I wish I could have gone myself." "Right now, I'd rather be doin' what he's doin' than what I'm doin'." "Hey!" "Now, cool it, baby." "Hang loose, huh?" "Wait for me!" "Hey, wait for me!" "Wait for me!" "Hey, wait for" "What the- Dumb broad!" "Dumb broad, you!" "God wants you upstairs." "Hey, hey." "Hand loose, would ya?" "What's wrong with my body?" "N" " Nothin'." "Nothin' at all." "You know, I never met anyone like you before." "Oh, hey, there's lots like me." "Yeah, but you're here." "C- Cut it out, huh?" "Relax." "Relax." "I'm very good at this." "Uh" " I think I'm gettin' sea sick." "Don't fight it." "Almost 10 years I've been on this thing." "Ten years without seeing daylight." "But you can go up on deck." "You crazy?" "There's nine guys in the crew." "What's the odds on one of them tryin' to bump me off?" "9- to-1." "Yeah, and you think that's good odds, eh?" "Stop it!" "I ain't takin' no 9- to-1 odds." "Not me." "I don't go up there, and they can't get in here." "But Elizabeth can." "Well, Elizabeth I trust." "We happen to be going steady." "Ten years I've been on this thing." "Do you know what I'd give... to go to a racetrack or a ball game?" "You know how much Dramamine I gotta take?" "Ah, it's a lousy way to get old." "Please let me go." "Please!" "No, no, not on the lips!" "Then let me go for cryin' out loud!" "Blackmail, eh?" "All right." "Go." "Stash, Angie, are you there?" "Stash!" "Stash, my father's in jail!" "Help!" "Help!" "Stash, my father's a torpedo!" "Stash!" "Help, Darlene!" "Open 8." "All right, let's see this place shine." "Come on." "Get movin'." "Every little nook." "Every little cranny." "Good news, Tony." "I got good news." "It's all arranged." "You're gonna take Packard his breakfast." "Here's a trustee's armband for ya." "Here's a trustee's cap." "And here" "I don't mind tellin' ya, this took a little doin'." "Here." "Forget it." "Forget what?" "What's with him?" "I don't know." "I think he ate somethin'." "Uh, Tony?" "Tony" "Tony, can you hear me?" "I hear ya." "This is no time to get cold feet." "In 20 minutes, you- you kiss Packard." "An hour after that, you're on your way home." "I'm not kissin' Packard." "Come on, Tony." "This is no time to kid around." "I'm not kissin' anyone." "Now, you don't mean that." "You gotta be realistic, Tony." "I'm askin' ya to be realistic." "All right." "Don't do it, you dumb slob." "Stay here for the rest of your life and rot." "Eight out!" "If you don't care for yourself, you could at least think about your daughter." "What does that mean?" "Well, she's on the big boat." "Packard expects his corn flakes in 20 minutes." "If" " If it's any consolation- there's no problem I can't solve." "Hey, maybe if I take some of that stuff," "I wouldn't have to rape anybody anymore." "Good morning, Skipper." "Oh, good morning, sir." " Any news?" " The stock market is holdin' its own." "Oh, splendid." "Okay, hear this." "What?" "Who?" "I got the whole deal worked out." "We'll start with 36 key cities." "You'll set up a contact in each one." "It doesn't have to be a hippie." "Anybody can grow his hair." "What are you talkin' about, man?" "The youth market." "Half the country is under 25." "A billion-dollar market." "I supply the stuff, you get it to the customers." "In the first year, you'll make, uh, $150,000." " No, thanks." " What do you mean?" "You said you liked money." "Sure." "But business bores me." "Oh, boy." "Yeah?" "Uh, Tough Tony is now Marshmallow Tony." "What?" "What?" " He says he won't do it." " What do you mean he won't do it?" "My God, I've tried everything." "I tried coercion." "Never mind coercion." "You tell him Packard better not live through the day." "Get it?" "Angie?" "Angie, where are you?" "Angie?" "Uh, in my cabin." "I can't see ya." "What's wrong with this thing?" "What thing?" "Probably needs a new tube." "Damn gadgets." "Electronics I need." "You sure your lights are on?" "It's daytime." "The sun's shining." "Uh, let me see if I can fix this thing." "That's it." "You've got it." "Angie, believe me." "No matter how long I live," "I can't get used to being double-crossed." "Me?" "I would never!" "Not you, idiot!" "Tony" " He won't kiss Packard." " But he's gotta!" " Yeah." "Hey, you like this kid of his?" "Sort of." "Okay." "If Tony comes through, she's yours." " What if he don't?" " Well, then you got a little job to do." "Lithuanian measles?" "Isolation ward." "Lithuanian measles!" "The kid's a genius." "Some genius." "We drink aftershave lotion, we break out in red spots, instead of being locked up there, we're locked up here." "The spots will be gone in 28 minutes." "Aha." "Just as I thought." "Field-spoke ventilation system." "Thank you." "Okay, hoist me up." "Hey!" "Clamp." "Clamp." "Scissors." "Fine dissecting scissors." "Yes." "Suture. please." "3- oh, Doctor." "Fine." "Do you want another suture, Doctor?" "No time." "Go." "This blood is kinda dark." "John, could you give him more oxygen?" "More oxygen, Doctor." "Still dark, John." "Oxygen." "Clamp." "More oxygen!" "Sponge." "More." "Doctor!" "Tony, Tony, come on." "Let's get movin'." "Thought you'd never get here." "For cryin' out loud, I'm freezin' to death." "This is no time to feel sorry for yourself." "I make it a point to eat with the men at least once a month, Senator." "It's a good idea, Warden." "Lets them know that what's good enough for their stomachs... is good enough for mine." "That's what democracy is all about, right, Warden?" "Yeah." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Shhh!" "I've got news for you." "Password?" "It's me!" "I forgot it!" " That guy with the... hair" " What about him?" "I just bumped into him." "He said to tell you he thinks he can swing his end of the deal." " Yeah?" " Only he's got to make a phone call to be sure." "If only I could find a place where smiling' strangers" "Worldwide Pop Festival." "Make love not war." "Hold on." "Geronimo!" "Speak softly." "Xerox me, man." "I don't wanna be misquoted." "Peace!" "You were saying?" "Dig the, uh, Spirit of St. Louis, man." "Yeah, like, uh, Greeley says, what's seven or eight Dukes of Windsor..." "Water. when it's, uh, Mona Lisa time, huh?" "Yeah, take a bow and arrow" " And we're not getting any younger, right?" "So come in X-17." "Over." "Son of Norway, you're loud and clear." "Cool as everything." "Over and out." "What'd he say?" "Oh, he says he'll have to get back to me." "Spirit of St. Louis." "Lindbergh." "Kidnapped." "Who?" "Mona Lisa." "Yours." "Darlene." "They've got Darlene!" "Calm." ""Bow and arrow. " They're armed." "But where?" "Horace Greeley said, "Go west, young man. "" "He did." "And how far west?" "Windsor- Knots!" "Water, children." "Water." "Seven to eight knots west of" "What?" "That's the hole." ""X-17." Think." ""X-17." "X" could mean "used to be. "" "Seventeen." "The old pier." "Pier 17!" "I'm seeing an angel!" "I'm an angel!" "I'm a goddamn angel!" "Hallelujah!" "Hey, don't hurt yourself." "Loretta!" "No, you ain't Loretta." "Senator, I can see it all now." "A perfect penitentiary." "As soon as I'm president, it's yours." "Two convicts to every cell." "Use computers to be sure they're compatible." "Murderer bunks with murderer." "Sex maniac with sex maniac." "Democrat with Democrat." "Republican with Republican." "Are you gonna run for the big office?" "Not quite yet." "But I've been working on my acceptance speech for the last five years." "My men are going to learn to express themselves." "Fellow Americans, we are living perilous times!" "We're gonna have finger-painting and modern dance." "There are only three great Americans" " Washington, Lincoln and me." "Warden, can I have your keys?" "I'm gonna teach them to make costume jewelry." "And they can even design their own uniform." "You ain't Loretta!" "Loretta!" "Wait a minute!" "He isn't Loretta." "He's Gertrude!" "Let go of me, you big, dumb" "Beany?" "Ah, Beany." "Aw, Beany." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "I can't hear ya." "Is The Man there?" "I wanna talk to The Man." " Western Union." " Who's this?" "What's going on?" "That's more than 10 words." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Is The Man there?" "I wanna talk to The Man." "Soufflé." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "There's gotta be somebody there." "It's a federal prison, and I'm a taxpayer." "Soufflé." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Hello!" "Hello!" "I can't hear you." "They're playin' our song." "I can't hear it." "Give me a home Where the buffalo roam" "Where the deer and the antelope play" "Where seldom is heard a discouraging word" "And the skies are not cloudy all day" "Home, home on the range" "Look, I just wanna know about one of the inmates." "Seldom is heard a discouraging word" "And the skies are not cloudy all day" "You know what?" "You look like a flower." "That's funny." "I feel like a flower." "Hey, keep the noise down!" "You'll wake the baby." "What is it?" "The Green Bay Packers." "17, 34, 56, hike!" "They're all naked!" "Living in a garbage can can be a lot of fun" "It has its ups Do, do, do, do" "And downs" "Oh, paper cups and coffee grounds" "Do you hear what I hear?" "I hear nothing." "Especially if you meet the perfect onion" "Oh, the great garbage can is just full of good stuff" "All the discarded refuse of man..." " Not a thing." "Like the half-used banana whose girlfriend is Anna" "Who shout Let us out of this can Ow, ow" "Oh, Mr. Good Brussels Sprout Dipity bi" "If only me and the banana could get out" "We'd find an asparagus who'd stand up and marry us" "But the first thing to do is get out Ow, ow, ow" "Nothing." "Now and old piece of ham is in love with some lamb" "But a young head of lettuce is too" "Said the ham to the lettuce The lamb will forget us" "As soon as he learns I love you" "Whoa, whoa, whoa The great garbage can Dipity bi" "It's a tribute to the ingenuity of man" "Where corn and tomatoes are mixed with potatoes" "And thrown in together with ham" "Where a brussels sprout and a sauerkraut" "Can get together and have it out" "And no one seems to care about the plan" "And a succotash and a piece of hash can get together and have a bash" "For life is always equal in the can" "Do you see what I see?" "Where?" "There." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Ya-da-da, ya-da-da." "Yeah." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Listen, you." "I don't know who you are, but I'll find out." "I'll get you for this!" " Yeah?" " Hello?" "Hello?" " Hello." " I'm inquiring about the health of one of the inmates." " Which one?" " A Mr. Packard." " Who's this?" " Who's this?" " God?" " Packard?" "I never felt better in my life." "Don't count on it!" " Lousy crumb." " Dirty stool pigeon." "I'm sorry." "We are unable... to complete your call as dialed." "Hey, come out here." "Do you see what I see?" "Scrambled eggs." "No!" "Jell-O." "Reminds me of my wife." "Okay, Tony, let's go." "What about me?" "Sorry, we can't take you." "You're too heavy." "Man wasn't meant to to fly" "He wasn't meant to go up in the sky" "Man wasn't meant for such things" "If God wanted man to fly we'd have wings" "Do you see what I see?" "It's a balloon." "No." "It's a big, beautiful blob of nothing." "It wants me." "It wants me." " It loves me!" " Yeah." "But why is it going away?" "I see it." "I see it." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Ya-da-da, ya-da-da." "Hallelujah" "Hallelujah" "Hallelujah, hallelujah" "You know, this isn't too bad at that." "The bridge!" "Look out for the bridge!" "You know, I should have never done this." "It's just another trip, Tony." "Another trip to you." "A nut like you, it's another trip." "Can't you fly it a little closer to the ground?" "All right." "All right." "Wait a minute!" "Not that close!" "Take it up!" "Take it up!" "Okay, okay." "Okay." "Angie." "Angie!" "Tony let us down." "Yes, sir." "What's going on?" "Some people approaching, sir." " Looks like friendly natives." " Friendly what?" "Holy hell, Garbaldo!" "Stop 'em!" "Who goes there?" "Ahoy!" "Ahoy!" "Never mind "ahoy. " Tell 'em to beat it or else." "Okay, this is it." "Ready." "Aim." "Hey, look!" "What's that?" "It's a balloon." "Hey, so am I." "Above, sir." "Fire!" " Which way, sir?" "The balloon!" "Kill the balloon!" "There!" "They missed." "They missed!" "Oh, no!" "Aaah!" "Garbaldo?" "Garbaldo?" "Garbaldo, what's the matter with you?" "I'm talking to you." "Don't you hear me?" "There's sun power, gun power, atomic power, fun power, power-power, flower power, go power, and Flo power." "And if power's all they really understand, we take the power of the flower, and the power of the dove, we put them both together, and we love them to death." "Mmmm!" "Shine!" "Shine!" "Skidoo, skidoo" "The only thing that matters is with who you do" "Skidoo, skidoo" "The only thing that matters is with who" "Skidoo, adieu" "I do believe it really is the thing to do" "Skidoo, skidoo" "And the world can be a better place for you" "Skidoo" "Well, you gotta be good and you gotta be kind" "But there's a lot of people They gotta draw the line" "That separate the good and the bad the wrong from right" "They forget about the color that's between the black and white" "The groovy little in-between" "Darlene." "Where's my Darlene?" "Where's my daughter Darlene?" "In there." "Skidoo, skidoo" "The only thing that matters is with who you do" "Skidoo, skidoo" "The only thing that matters is with who" "Darlene?" "Darlene?" "Daddy!" "Why, you dirty" "No, Daddy, don't!" "He saved my life!" "Skidoo, ah, dooby-do" "I do believe it really is the thing to do" "Skidoo, skidoo" "Between one and three there is a two" "Look around and if you open your eyes" "You may begin to think you shouldn't criticize" "The way another person wants to wear his hair" "But in the overall analysis the only thing that counts" "Is the magic and the love you share" "Skidoo, skidoo" "The only thing that matters is with who you do" "Skidoo, skidoo" "The only thing that matters is with who" "Skidoo, adieu" "I do believe it really is the thing to do" "Skidoo, skidoo" "And the world would be a better place for you" "Time is moving fast and there's a lot to see" "Don't you trap yourself inside a boat that's floating' on the sea" "There's a better way of livin' if you take the time to try" "To live and love and take a breath and watch the scenery" "As the color slowly changes" "From 14 to 23" "Skidoo, skidoo" "The only thing that- Where's God?" "Skidoo, skidoo Where's God?" "Skidoo, ah, dooby-do Hey, you, where's God?" "I do believe it really is the thing to do" "Doesn't anybody around here know where God is?" " Skidoo, skidoo" "And the world can be a better place for you" "Skidoo" "Will you give this ring... as a symbol of your affection, sincerity and fidelity?" "I will." "Will you receive this ring and wear it... as a symbol of your affection, sincerity and fidelity?" "I will." "And now, I pronounce you man and wife." "Congratulations, my boy!" "Congratulations!" "Congratulations, Daughter." "Stash." "Darlene." "We are gathered here today to join this brother... and this sister in holy union." "If only I could find a place" "Where smiling' strangers knew our faces" "I would take you there" "A place with constant melody where you and I could wander free" "Pumpkin." "I would take you there" "Stop!" "We are not through yet." "And before you skidoo, we'd like to introduce our cast and crew." "Jackie Gleason was Tony Banks" "Carol Channing Flo" "Frankie Avalon Angie" "Fred Clark A Tower Guard" "Michael Constantine Leech" "Frank Gorshin The Man" "John Phillip Law Stash" "Peter Lawford The Senator" "Burgess Meredith The Warden" "George Raft The Skipper" "Cesar Romero As Hechy" "Mickey Rooney "Blue Chips" Packard" "And Groucho Marx played "God"" "In the Otto Preminger film Skidoodily-doo-doo-doo" "With Arnold Stang As Harry" "Doro Merande As the Mayor" "Phil Arnold As Her Husband" "Slim Pickens The Switchboard Operator" "Robert Donner as Another Switchboard Operator" "Richard Kiel as Beany Tom Law as Geronimo" "Jaik Rosenstein As "Eggs" Benedict Benedict" "Stacy King As The Amazon" "And Renny Roker As A Prison Guard" "Roman Gabriel As A Prison Guard" "And Nilsson As A Tower Guard" "And Stone Country As Themselves" "And the Orange County Ramblers Played the Green Bay Packers" "And introducing" "Austin Pendleton As Fred" "Alexandra Hay As Darlene" "And Luna As "God's" Mistress Well, you know what I mean" "Music and Lyrics By Nilsson, Who also played A Tower Guard" "Arranged and Conducted By George Tipton A very good friend" "Choreography, Tom Hansen Costumes, Rudi Gernreich" "Photographed in Panavision And Technicolor" "Director of Photography Leon Shamroy A.S.C." "Sound, Glenn Anderson Franklin Milton And Lloyd Hanks, Thanks" "Camera Operators Irving Rosenberg And Dewey Wrigley" "Chief Electrician Fred Hall Key Grip, Leo McCreary" "Transportation George Coleman" "Editor, George Rohrs Assistant Editor, Dean Ball" "Music Editor, Fred Prior Sound Effects Editor Don Higgins" "Negative Cutter, Connie Roese And Script Supervisor Kathleen Fagan" "Oh, boy!" "Art Director, Robert E. Smith Assistant Art Director J. Monte Elliot" "Set Decorator, Fred Price Special Effects Charles Spurgeon" "Painter, Eugene Acker Property Master Kenny Westcott" "Commercials By John Urie" "Executive Assistant to the Producer Nat Rudick" "Dialogue Coach Max Slater" "Story and Casting Erik Kirkland" "Production Managers Kenny Deland And Howard Joslin" "Assistant Directors Erich von Stroheim Jr." "Wally Jones Al Murphy And Steven North" "Production Accountant Herman Darstein" "Production Secretary Joyce Lilley" "Costume Coordinator Hope Bryce" "Makeup, Web Overlander Hairdressing Vivian Thompson" "Wardrobe, Ted Parvin Phyliss Garr, George Thompson And John-Perry" "Visual Consultant and Titles By Sandy Dvore" "And what's more they were executed By Pacific" "How's your popcorn?" "Copyright MCMLXVIII By Sigma Productions, Inc." "Your seat's on fire" "The story, the characters and the incidents are fictitious" "Ho hum, et cetera et cetera" "It's a Paramount TM Release A Gulf+Western Company" "Written By Mr. Doran William Cannon" "Produced and Directed By" "Um, uh- Otto Preminger" "Skidoo, skidoo"