"This is ground control." "Citation Zebra-Bravo is landing on runway 3-0 right." "Police and security to full alert immediately." "Rolex watches." "You know the name...." "You little rascal, running away like that." "See how he runs around?" "He's programmed to do that." "This is a highly sophisticated robot for $1 9.95." "Uncle, are you wanting to buy?" "No obligation." "Rolex." "You know the name, own the watch." "Ultimate in Swiss craftsmanship." "You've seen them at Tiffany's for $1 7 00. I deal in volume." "My special price for you, $39.95." "$39.95, how can you beat that?" "Can you beat it?" "Would you like a robot?" "How's it going?" "They're not selling like pancakes." "I should sell them door-to-door." "In this town?" "Did you just fall off the banana boat?" "I don't travel with bananas." "I've been kicking around town for two days." "Really?" "Let's upgrade your image." "Up my image?" "I'll let you have half my inventory." "What do you say?" "Mr. Slater, look." "You haven't seen this." "You haven't seen it." "Check it out." "See, they're hands." "They clap." "l know it'll sell." "We don't sell novelty items." "How many chances should I give you?" "I want high-tech." "It's for Christmas not Easter." "Got it?" "Yes, sir, high-tech." "I'll keep looking." "And if you don't mind, some of us are trying to work." "Ah!" "That's better." "Silence is better than Little Richard?" "I'll sell these wholesale." "You'll clean up." "I am occupying myself with" "Toy robots are pathetic." "They won't move." "Not here." "is this yours?" "Yes. lt is called Number Five." "lt rolled past my office." "We were taking a meeting here." "Who are you?" "Sandy Banatoni, assistant buyer, Simpson's toy department." "Okay?" "They're great." "Where'd you get them?" "Thank you." "I am making them. I am Ben Jahrvi." "Titanic Toy Corporation." "Like the ship." "Where are you located?" "I am based in that vehicle over yonder." "No." "Where is your assembly plant?" "There. lt's also my home." "You mean you make these yourself?" "In there?" "Robotics is the only livelihood I know." "You want to buy one?" "The hand's bendy." "We deal in volume." "I can't order less than a thousand." "1 000?" "1 000." "1 000?" "We could do 1 000." "If the unit price is attractive." "Who are the "we"?" "We could go maybe $50 apiece." "l'm charging $1 9.95." "Per day!" "To rent." "If you want to buy for $50 apiece, we could live with that." "Maybe." "When could you deliver?" "You want a rough estimate of how long?" "Yes, 1 000 robots...." "This is just a ballpark figure." "They could be ready by October." "Really?" "1 993." "Rolex!" "Sorry I wasted your time." "We're in different worlds." "l'd have to have them in 30 days." "Thirty days?" "Wait a minute." "He meant with our current facilities." "We could expand our operation." "We can get a factory." "With a cash advance, we'd be in high gear." "Again, you say "we."" "My boss won't approve an advance." "We'll forego the advance." "Tell you what." "We'll show up October 1 5th this year with 1 000." "You guarantee to buy them?" "$50 dollars apiece, C.O.D." "Okay." "Yeah." "Get your lawyers on it." "We got a deal." "We are making a deal." "This is pleasantly pleasing." "I'm studying to become a citizen of your country." "You appreciate my robots?" "Did you ask me a question?" "They're running away." "Get back here." "I'm going to take your batteries out." "First things first." "Who are you and what is your name?" "Fred Ritter. I ask questions, like "Where's your capital?"" "Washington, D.C." "Simple words." "How will you build those robots with no money?" "My friends Newton and Stephanie in Montana can assist me financially." "Montana?" "You got friends here." "I got you your big break." "Oscar, step aside." "Mr. de Ruyter, welcome to First Federal." "It's a great honour for all of us" "Might we step inside?" "Oh, yes. indeed." "Madson steel alloy." "A-450." "Built by Heimdall." "Completely custom." "We're quite proud of it." "Gentlemen: the Vanderveer Collection." "They'll stay here until one day before the exhibition opens." "During the day, we'll have a special detail of six armed guards." "At night there'll be 1 2 strategically placed security personnel." "Excellent." "Glad you approve." "You owe me money, due in 30 days." "Yes, sir. lt takes money to make money." "It's a sure thing." "Guaranteed." "Your money, your interest, is in your pocket. ln full." "On time." "This time, I have great collateral." "Fifty-five Rolex watches." "You know the name, now own the watch." "I know the name, Fred." "And your body is your collateral." "This changes nothing." "Absolutely not." "You still owe me." "Absolutely." "ln 30 days." "30 days." "This is it!" "Your new factory!" "Right here?" "This is why I'm studying to become citizen." "In one day, a man can go from a street corner to a skyscraping building." "What do you mean?" "Not the bank." "Over here." "Midtown." "Central location." "Been here since 1 902." "Beautiful, huh?" "An historic building." "Come on." "It's unbelievable, isn't it?" "It'll be torn down." "I got a short-term lease." "Really?" "Got it for a song." "Will it work?" "It has everything we need." "Walls, windows." "Phones." "All the square footage you could ask for." "Benny, meet your production staff." "They're hard workers." "And, hey, minimum wage." "Here's your budget for parts." "I promised them a fancy dinner." "Our table is reserved at McDonald's." "Excuse me?" "How'd you obtain this money?" "A little muscle, a lot of hustle." "Did everybody get a watch?" "Yeah, I got a watch." "You like McNuggets?" "Who is he?" "Trust me." "I don't believe it." "This is just great!" "Who are they?" "Nobody's supposed to be here!" "Slow down." "l should've stayed away from this." "Leave!" "Go back to your two-bit computer scam." "How much time do we need?" "You gotta be kidding." "We're not even past the utility lines." "The soil density is low." "We'll never get to the jewels" "How much time?" "If we stop for five days, we won't make it." "We must get them out or kiss the diamonds goodbye." "How'd you come up with this?" "Split conductor cable, remember?" "I used to work in Oregon for Nova Robotics." "I and my friend, Newton, designed the real Number Five." "Unfortunately, the military wanted to use him as a death-weapon." "You made these things for real and now you make toys for a living?" "Well, the real Number Five malfunctioned and...." "Let's say we were separated from our jobs." "When you finish, we'll have 25." "Voila, my man." "Number 25." "24." "Excuse me, we are not open to the public." "Oh, hello." "Can l--?" "Guys, you're jumping the gun." "Arnold said I had 29 more days." "Hey, watch the silk!" "Let's do it!" "No, please!" "Please, don't leave!" "Don't forget the circuit...." "Tester." "Not the circuit tester!" "Oh, Fred get up, you" "You should learn self-defence." "Who would do this to persons like us?" "l thought I knew them" "Wait, sir!" "Wait!" "Now we are unemployers." "We still got the robot parts." "I'll get a new staff." "We have no money and no equipment." "To make them by hand would be slower than moles' asses in January." "Benny, my back's to the wall!" "We must come up with something!" "No." "We are people who have everything in our favour going against us." "How about we go to the lady and beg for an advance?" "We go in there and grovel." "We look pathetic." "Mountain Lion Air Freight." "We got a delivery." "Oh, yeah?" "We've had enough deliveries for one day." "Mr." "Benjamin Jarvee?" "Jahrvi." "We should leave it here?" "Yeah, leave it out there." "Who even knows you're here?" "l only told my friends in Montana." "l've never seen that before." "What is this crap?" "Who is caring?" "This crap is moving!" "Hello, bozos!" "Benjamin!" "Come here, give me a hug." "It's so good to see you!" "Number Five!" "For you, from Stephanie." "Granola brownies." "No preservatives." "It's the real Number Two!" "Five." "Five!" "Call me Johnny Five." "Johnny?" "You've taken a name?" "l choose many things but not coming in a box." "I chose to fly, they say I'm cargo." "No movie, no bag of peanuts." "Why are you here?" "l am not understanding." "Oh, listen." "Ben." "The only way we could help was to send Number Five." "He can build your robots." "He loves input, so watch him." "Stephanie and Newton." "Ben..." "...this is home?" "Domicile?" "Flophouse?" "Oh, Fred." "Lady Luck's sitting in our lap." "She is?" "You said it misfunctioned." "That's false." "We were working and he was struck by lightning." "From this moment on, he's having a mind of his own." "The government tried to destroy him." "Now he lives in Montana." "ln a cabin, in the woods, incognito." "Ooh!" "Input!" "Hound of the Baskervilles." "I think the chauffeur did it." "He did." "Listen." "We should not tell him he is in a major metropolitan area." "If he learns he's in a city full of input, he'll go crazy." "This thing runs by itself?" "Thing? "An object without life"?" "Incorrect." "Johnny Five not a thing." "Yeah, right." "is it remote-controlled or what?" "Well, uh...." "You would not believe me, huh?" "Number Five?" "Johnny Five." "Johnny is a very cute name." "l like it." "Come here." "This is Fred." "Hello, Fred." "Over here." "Oh, right." "Give Fred a demonstration how you'll help us out of this sticky predicament we're in." "Assemble." "Sure." "Okay, check diagram." "Find tread assembly, right." "Ah!" "Don't forget the nernies!" "It's me!" "Isn't that special?" "We're home free!" "It can build them all, right?" "What is it, Matumwa?" "Now, the next set of parts...." "Completed number 7 4, Benjamin." "Benjamin?" "The government is divided into three trees...." "Branches." "We'll return to Tarzan after this." "It's the all-new Radio Shack stereo." "Just look at these prices!" "I need therapy." "Until I'm cured, you can save big!" "Come on!" "Take advantage of Manic Mike." "I have to sell!" "I'm in a panic, I'm frantic and I'm manic!" "Whoa, nutso." "Interesting human." "It's incredible!" "They have a robot doing work for them." "Completely unsupervised." "A mobile, independent robotics system." "Are they moving out?" "The stuff we smashed is nothing compared to that." "They must be rich." "They probably bought the building." "So we get rid of the robot." "Benjamin?" "Bwana Benjamin?" "Wake-up call." "Up and at 'em!" "Time to recharge." "You have a new power supply?" "Lithium-argon battery." "Good for 500 hours. improved your design." "I'm proud." "You removed your laser." "Weapon is to kill, disassemble, make dead." "Bad." "You've modified much of your person." "impressive for a military prototype." "lt's the new Johnny Five." "Look at these items!" "lncreased memory!" "500 megabytes!" "I have a utility pack and Greenpeace stickers!" "A Nike Swoosh!" "Act now and get my all-new multi-frequency remote control!" "You're a crazy man, huh?" "I'm trying to sleep here." "I'm in a panic, I'm frantic and I'm manic!" "Fred, it's time to wake up." "The early bird gets worms." "What time is it?" "8:37 a.m. and 1 7 seconds." "I have to go to Simpson's to sign the papers." "I'll go with you. I'd love input." "Johnny Five, you must wait here." "There's nothing outside." "It's very boring." "All you need is here." "I'll be back soon." "It's very boring." "Very boring." "Dubious." "Hard to believe." "Excuse me." "Oh." "Mr. Jahrvi, right?" "You can call me B-E-N." "I spell it Ben." "How's it going?" "Great." "For you." "This looks even better than your prototype." "You can maintain the quality and meet our deadline?" "Yes." "Why don't you go down and sign the papers?" "I don't know why." "I mean, you should go." "Good luck with the rest of them." "We'll be in touch." "Hi, neighbour." "I've been thinking about you and I thought you'd like to see Hisher." "Hisher is a ventriloquist's dummy." "He isn't alive." "I am." "I'm human, like you." "Hisher's made of papier-mâché and wood." "Ex cept for pretend, Hisher doesn't have feelings." "I have feelings." "I have skin, and bones...." "Watch the shirt. lt's my Bisana." "It's a $1 90 shirt." "I paid $45.50, off the truck." "Want to hand me a Labatt's?" "Sure." "Wouldn't want you to strain yourself." "" Can you say, 'thank you'?"" "Try to find more cashew nuts." "Wash his socks, iron his shirts...." "Like animals." "The people in this city-- lt's back-to-the-trees time." "City?" "I am in a city?" "I didn't say that." "This is actually no place at all." "Don't bother." "There's nothing to see." "See for yourself, it's pretty dull." "It's not much of a place to see." "Major metropolis!" "We got toys to make." "Wasn't told I was in a city." "Why?" "Get back to work!" "You order me?" "I'm not Slave-O-Matic." "I'm Johnny Five." "My Aunt Bertha's a toaster." "Come on!" "No way." "Time for sightseeing." "What do you need with sightseeing?" "Excuse me." "Wow!" "Input!" "Megabytes of input!" "Watch your toes." "Look at this place. lt's amazing!" "It's like Montana, only vertical." "Buildings, skyscrapers, urban habitats!" "I am impressed!" "A mobile human." "Woman with a dead animal." "Outdoor plumbing." "It must be Candid Camera." "Hot dogs!" "Pork snouts, nitrites, red dye number five." "Hello pedestrians, city folk urban professionals." "Nice place." "Human porcupines." "Smile!" "What's going on?" "Red to black, red to black." "Red card." "Anyone can play." "Winners all the time." "Red to black, red to black." "Pick a card." "That one. I win." "What the hell am I looking at?" "lt's a droid!" "Kiss off, geek." "l did not win?" "Who's running this?" "Get this ugly mother out of my face!" "Well, excuse me for living." "Los Locos kick your ass Los Locos kick your face" "Los Locos kick your balls Into outer space" "That won't work." "Push on the window." "Push, man!" "I'll unlock it." "A droid!" "is he a cop?" "l seen one before." "Me too. lt's a...." "lt's a Mitsubishi!" "No." "Am Johnny Five." "It's talking, man." "Sure, they all do that, man." "What are you doing here?" "I'm sightseeing." "Many people are angry." "Why?" "ls it your car?" "You're watching it?" "No." "Are you angry too?" "No. I want to be your friend." "You can open any car you want?" "Sure." "Hey, you want to help us out?" "We got this job looking for old car stereos that need to be polished and repaired and stuff." "Then we put them back and everyone's happy." "Yeah, we work for the Department of Car Stereo Repair." "We're overworked." "We got too many cars to do." "See all those cars?" "We got to do them all." "We don't get to go home to our families and little babies." "ls it doing it?" "l can't see. I think it split, man." "I got radios!" "Stereos!" "CD's!" "Everything for cars at low prices!" "Look at me!" "I'm in a panic!" "I'm frantic and I'm manic!" "Hola, dude." "Check it out, man." "Pretty nice, eh?" "Need help to find Ben and Frederick, 1 35 West Lafayette Blvd." "Yeah." "Yeah, that's right across the street." "ls this a stunt?" "A joke?" "No humour is involved." "Collecting input." "Urban input." "Be careful!" "You really should cross at the crosswalk." "You lost Johnny?" "!" "Stop backing up, you untrustworthy person." "I did not lose him!" "He ran out." "My friends, I have lowered them down." "Your friends?" "What about me and this business?" "I found this machine across the street." "Am I not telling you not to go out of doors?" "Outside is city." "Awesome input." "You didn't tell me." "You have been vandalized all over." "Decorations." "Petroleum byproducts." "Los Locos kick your ass Los Locos kick your face" "Los Locos kick your balls Into outer space I'll clean you. lf you had a mouth, I'd wash it out with soap." "You saved our bacon." "Thanks." "It's remarkable!" "It's yours?" "There's only one and we got it." "We're using it to build these toys." "That's very nice." "I'm Oscar Baldwin." "I work across the street." "I thought this was vacant." "You should join the merchants' association." "I'm the committee chairman." "We'll be gone in a month." "You have removed 57 car stereos?" "From automobiles?" "You ripped stuff off?" "Not ripping, unscrewing." "For the Department of Car Stereos." "Dummy, you boosted stereos!" "That's stealing." "You got fingerprints?" "Stealing? "To take another person's property unlawfully"?" "They said it's their job!" "They scammed you, tricked your ass." "I have more brains in my nose than he has at all." "I was tricked?" "Flimflammed?" "Hornswoggled?" "This isn't the countryside." "This is the cityside." "People here are very complicated." "I've spent my life as one and don't understand them." "Now, please, will you stay inside?" "Okay." "Let's go." "l'm allergic to this stuff." "Come on." "Key is in the ignition." "Get it!" "Got it!" "Stephanie, the toys are nearly done." "People here get angry easily." "They need more fibre in their diet." "Or maybe it's just me." "Johnny." "P.S. Enclosed is something called a chili dog." "Masks?" "Disguises?" "Our showroom closes at 6." "Let's get that craphead." "Have a seat, gentlemen." "Why are you angry?" "Why try to disassemble Johnny?" "Bad humans!" "Allow me to demonstrate centrifugal force." "Return your seats to the upright position." "Prepare for landing." "" Robot ejects prowlers, film at 1 1 ."" ""To the moon, Alice!"" "What do these masked men want?" "ls everyone treated this way?" "Now we need a security system." "Security system?" "Sure." "R-E-S-P-E-C-T That is what I'd like for me" "Quiet down. I can't hear myself forget what I'm studying." "I can't even remember the name of Warren G. Harding." "Johnny." "Hi, Oscar!" "This might interest you." "Sightseeing tips." "Lots of input." "Oscar, thank you." "I'll read it again later." "Found one." "Great." "Got it?" "Yep." "Hello there!" "I wanted to give you that application." "l'll get to it." "What's he doing?" "Making contraptions for protection." "How does that thing work?" "By remote control?" "You talk to it." "Amazing!" "I know computers, and we'd pay at least half a million for him." "Johnny Five total value, $1 1 ,002,07 6 and 1 7 cents." "Eleven million dollars!" "And well worth it!" "Capable of doing anything, and a personality to boot." "Thank you, Oscar." "Adiós." "I like Oscar." "He's friendly." "He treats me with R-E-S-P-E-C-T." "The right to have bare arms." "What's the deal?" "The robot's worth $1 1 million?" "Yeah, so?" "We're making toys for $50 grand?" "Let's sell the big one!" "That is not possible, for very personal reasons." "Johnny Five cannot be sold." "Am I making myself transparent?" "Oh, yeah, transparent as hell." "I have a partner who doesn't want to be rich." "But if everyone was rich, everyone would have a Bisana." "I'm taking you to lunch." "I've thought about Sandy." "How she has your jeans steaming." "Not true." "It's a surprise who they go for." "You'd think it'd be me." "lt's always a guy like you." "She never recognizes me." "You know what you should do?" "Break it up with some small talk." "Talk about the weather then compliment her shoes or her earrings." "Then say something personal." "Tell her you're fascinated by her blue eyes." "Bill will pay for me." "Who?" "How you doing?" "Good game" " Great!" "Fine, fine young athlete." "I'm with him." "Hypnotic blue eyes." "That sounds good." "You're on a roll." "You know what I'd do?" "See her today." "Absolutely." "Right after lunch." "I'm not that hungry." "I'll watch the store." "Go for groceries." "I'll cover for you." "You think so?" "Yes." "Thank you, Fred." "Sandy Banatoni...." "J. Five, I got people dying to meet you." "Frederick, why do humans not like me?" "Call me craphead?" "They like you." "" Craphead" is a compliment." "Major input!" "I'll be right back after these words." "Input, input, input!" "Treasure Island!" "Origin of the Species." "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex." "Five?" "Ah." "More!" "Fabulous!" "That was good. I like that one." "That one too." "Boring." "The movie was better." "These two are wonderful!" "You're going to get us busted!" "I must read these two books very carefully." "Great books." "May I have these, craphead?" "Five, let's go." "See those two guys down there?" "They want to take your books." "Read any good books lately?" "I covered many great subjects." "Philosophy, religion, aerobics." "There's more. I could read it all in 35 minutes." "Give me a break. I got you some input." "Now do something for me." "And watch the shirt." "Silk." "Damn right." "From Bombyx mori moth. "Silkworm."" "I don't care!" "Come on, we'll be late." "This is risky. lt's broad daylight." "All three are gone. lt's our only chance." "We'll be out in a minute." "I did this for a living." "It'll be a controlled fire." "Ladies and gentlemen!" "Pay attention to the persons attempting entry at 1 35 Lafayette." "They are criminals  thugs, bad dudes." "Get the police, the Lone Ranger, Dirty Harry  the Green Berets!" "The Nova project was scrapped, the robots destroyed." "I'm sure it's a Nova robot." "Follow the red card." "Winners all the time." "Red to black." "Follow the red card, not the black." "Ben Jahrvi, my partner, we've got" "Ben Jahrvi?" "Wasn't he with Nova Robotics?" "He was Newton Crosby's partner." "Whatever happened to those guys?" "They were such hotshots." "Incredible." "A breakthrough in artificial intelligence." "Very impressive." "Fred Ritter." "Nice to meet you." "If it's not remote control, how do you get such a range of abilities?" "Secrets which I'll explain once we have a sale." "lf you're interested." "Of course we are interested." "Sale." ""To transfer ownership of property."" "What property is for sale?" "You, I hope." "Fred wants to sell me?" "A figure of speech." "I am not property." "One who is under control of another is a slave." "A robot into equal rights." "If you blow this, I'll pull your head off." "They cannot purchase me." "I am alive!" "I'm endowed with certain inalienable rights" "Falling 32 feet a second." "I'll make a big hit on Broadway." "Steady." "Watch the trim." "It's great up here!" "No problems!" "Look up there!" "It's a bird!" "It's a hangglider!" "I wish I were a bird." "The chrome-breasted input eater." "Dream on, Johnny." "Landing, 6:00." "Beginning final approach." "What's this?" "Aesthetic input." "Sculptures, modern art." "An early Brancusi?" "Darling, it's a Hankoff." "It's gaunt, angular repulsive." "What do you think?" "We call them Funny Fingers." "You've been here 2 months." "You haven't found one item I'd carry." "I found the robots." "Where are they?" "He's a street hustler." "He's no hustler." "He's a robotics engineer." "He worked for the government." "He's very professional." "Delivery boy." "He's my boss." "Sorry." "What's going on with the robots?" "It's close to the deadline." "We're making them like gangbangers." "" Busters." Gangbusters." "Totally professional." "I knew I could count on you." "Can I count on you?" "The pogo-stick guy is waiting." "I gotta run." "Call me when they're ready." "Sandy?" "It's time to tell you something very important." "I have a need to explain." "Oh, God." "There is a problem." "You can't finish on time?" "I knew it, I knew it." "Mr. Slater told us not to take chances, but I did." "Everything's okay." "This is not my discussion of topic." "Then what is?" "I am wishing to say there's a great deal of weather." "You have attractive shoes and earrings." "I'm fascinated by your hypnotic blue eyes." "I mean brown." "They're brown." "It's small talk." "Chat-chit to increase the relationship." "You don't have to make small talk." "You have to make the damn robots." "I have to run." "Why don't you go back to work?" "I'm damn sure to tell you when they're complete." "To damn to be sure." "A new wardrobe would help." "Sixty regular...." "Great fit!" "Fashion statement!" "Mixing in with all the other bipeds." "I'm like you, except I'm from out-of-town." "They're buying it." "Beautiful architecture!" "Edifice:" "Romanesque." "Can someone direct me to the answers?" "Maybe that's where the answers are." "Yes, my child?" "Hello." "Need input." "That's what I'm here for, son." "People dislike me." "Call me droid, ugly." "Goodness. I've been called names too." "It hurts." "We all want to be liked." "lt doesn't matter what people think." "No?" "No!" "What matters is how you live what the Lord thinks." "We're all equal before Him." "All equal?" "But I'm different. I'm a" "You're not." "No matter what, you're as deserving as anyone." "You possess the immortal soul." "It makes you equal." "Soul?" "Input from Bible, Koran, Upanishads." "I lean toward the Bible, myself." "I have an immortal soul?" "Of course." "You're human, right?" "No, I'm a machine." "But I am alive." "You don't play games in God's house!" "No!" "Have questions." "Need help." "Then come yourself." "You can't confess by remote control!" "Now, out!" "Get out!" "Look at that thing." "Think it trashed the bookstore?" "How many could there be?" "All right, fun's over." "Police!" "Can you answer questions?" "Just the facts." "Whoever is running it, come out." "I am out." "Here I am." "We've got complaints on this thing." "Complaints?" "I did something wrong?" "This is your last chance." "Come out or we'll impound this equip" "But I am not equipment." "Am passerby, man on street, average." "is it for real?" "I'm going to pick up my kids and my wife...." "Morgan Fairchild!" "That's the ticket." "You will book me, Dan-o?" "I'll make your day?" "Do not pass "Go"?" "I'm underage, you know." "Hold it there." "Mug shots?" "We need a record." "What now?" "Jail is for humans." "They're scum, but they're human." "Read my lip lights." "I think, therefore I am." "Take it to Stolen Goods." "l am not stolen goods!" "Out!" "Hath not a robot eyes, hands, organs, dimensions senses, passions?" "If pricked, do we not bleed?" "Battery fluid, maybe." "Let me get this straight." "You tried to sell Johnny Five?" "Yeah." "But it fell through." "Where is he now?" "I lost him." "I see." "You lost him." "Oh, well." "l misplaced him!" "Like car keys" "How'd you lose a 7 00-pound car key?" "!" "Back off!" "Coward!" "Snake in the grass!" "Ben Jarvee?" "Jahrvi!" "Oh." "Hello." "Stolen goods warehouse?" "He looks like a household appliance?" "Johnny Five?" "Are you operational?" "Say something." "Hubcaps, corn dog, soul...." "What is this?" "He is delicate." "A unique, mobile..." "...microcomputer robotics system." "We thought it was that." "Okay, you're free to go." "What are these clothes?" "Attempt to look human, fit in, belong." "Unsuccessful." "People look at you and see a machine, so they treat you like one." "But this causes strange emotion." "Not good." "What emotion is it?" "Feels like desert, wasteland." "Explain more explicitly." "Unpleasant, hollow, cold." "Loneliness?" "Loneliness, solitude?" "Yes!" "I have read about this in many books." "Bacon said, "A crowd is not company." "Faces are but a gallery of pictures."" "You're hitting the nail between the eyes." "You'll get accustomed to the feeling." "This is the way life is." "Since leaving India, I am having much loneliness." "You have loneliness?" "But you're human." "Humans are everywhere." "But for two humans to get together it is very...." "Complicated?" "Correct." "There's only one human I want to be the yin for my yang." "Which one human?" "Sandy Banatoni, the human." "Each time I am near her, the sweat in the palms the duckbumps, I'm so...." "Like a sweaty duck." "No." "Afraid." "Afraid to be rejected." "That makes you lonely?" "Oh, yes." "We have much in common." "You're lonely because no one believes you're alive." "I'm lonely because Sandy Banatoni is not knowing I am alive." "But I can help you." "No, I am completely unhelpable." "I can't be a fast-talking social person." "I have scanned many megabytes on male-female relationships courtship rituals, romance novels, poetry." "I could give you input." "Johnny Five, you would do this?" "Yes." "You're my friend." "That's wonderful!" "If you even help me to speak to Sandy, I'm jumping with joy." "Give me five, hombre!" "Oh, yes, and give me three." "You have no background in this field at all." "We can't get the robot to do it." "It's a good idea." "We can't get rid of it." "We can't get in." "Why not get the robot to help us?" "It's a computer, probably with custom systems" "The jewels go to the museum in two days." "We're out of time." "What's your plan?" "There is no other plan." "This is our opportunity." "You keep the two partners out of the building." "I'll deal with the robot." "You chose a place for my date?" "On Sandy's way home." "I remembered a great book:" "Dating Do's and Don't's for Teens." "Can you hear me?" "Are you able to hear?" "1 0-4, buddy." "With my magic antenna presto!" "Go!" "Now!" "Do it!" "Okay, okay." "Lord Rama." "Ignition system's fouled up." "Sorry, folks." "Ben?" "Sandy." "What a coincidence you're here." "I was thinking about you." "Say, Sandy that's a swell dress." "If your folks say okay let's go to the malt shop." "Sure." "Why not?" "A malt shop?" "Hungarian malts." "Good." "It's a better view." "Strange to meet here." "" Meet." Closeness, proximity." "Yes." "The goal of two ones who share space on a plane is double oneness metaphysically." "Don't be weird." "Tell me that you're busy and things are okay." "Say doll, this mug's got more moves than you got curves." "I cracked that case." "You're done?" "On time, like I wanted?" "Yes." "Definitely." "Great!" "I'll have them picked up tomorrow." "Terrific." "I have a good feeling about this." "This is great for me too..." "...at this stage in my career." "That's a good one." "All the world is a stage." "Yeah?" "Well, yeah!" "Get off!" "You know Shakespeare?" "Are you troubled by irregularity?" "Get off, Felix!" "Garfield!" "Do I look like a mouse?" "It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken." "You're not on drugs, are you?" "I knew a guy like you." "Then he decided he was God." "God!" "God, uh, Jehovah...." "l think he needs some coffee." "French now, huh?" "Each time I see you, I think, " ls he naturally this eccentric, or is this just an act?"" "Move the balloons!" "What are you really like?" "I see." "No answer to that one." "Why are guys like that?" "Go on!" "Every guy is the same." "Yeah, you!" "Okay." "guys just smile." "I know a little Spanish." "" My mother sleeps...with your dog?"" "It's a saying in my country where sometimes we speak Spanish." "Your mother doesn't sleep with my dog." "No, no." "She sleeps with people who are like dogs." "I mean...." "What a maroon." "I better go." "No, no. I am...." "Please, I am sorry, huh?" "I confess to you now, Sandy." "Everything I've been saying has been coming not from me but from my friend who's controlling the sign." "Someone prompted you?" "Please, I must escape this embarrassment." "No, wait." "Please, sit down." "Do you mean that you're interested in me, personally?" "Yes." "That's what it was!" "You've tried so hard." "The expense alone...." "l am wanting to speak to you with my tongue untied." "It's really sweet." "You could've told me." "So...." "What do we talk about now?" "Do you like music?" "Don't tell me." "This one is:" "" Bo Diddley," by Mr. Diddley!" "What year?" "Nineteen...." "Fifty-five." "Fifty-five!" "Mr. Diddley did more for this country than Warden G. Hard-on." "Harding." "It's okay, Ben." "Time is fun when you have flies." "I know a great club." "You up for it?" "I'm in all ways for it most definitely." "We need a cab." "l'll get it." "Allow me." "You can't get a cab in this city." "Did I startle you?" "What is that?" "What is what?" "That!" "There's 231 2 cabs in this city." "There's one now!" "Hey, taxi!" "Bull's-eye!" "What is that?" "Looks like one of your toys." "It does, doesn't it?" "Please tell me what that is!" "Thank you for stopping." "Please." "Excuse me." "Number Johnny Five." "Thank you, friend." "You go back home." "Okay." "All loaded." "One thousand toy robots." "is that it, Robby?" "Are you enjoying planet Earth?" "What?" "Take me to your leader." "What's this?" "Huh?" "This is XL-7, over and out." "Oh, Oscar!" "Hola, dude!" "What's happening?" "Number Johnny Five, the date was such a success." "We talked." "We danced." "We drank champagne." "Sure came through with the money." "Our first big score." "Half those zeros are yours." "You gonna hold a grudge all your life?" "We're finally making it!" "Who are you guys, anyway?" "Number Johnny Five?" "You're a friendly guy." "I always enjoy our talks." "Well, I always enjoy talking to you." "You know something?" "I'm worried about our friends, Ben and Fred." "Frederick is not my friend." "I never liked him either." "Ben's our friend." "True-blue!" "With all the vandalism and attacks by those thugs we have to make sure Benjamin is safe." "Now, across the street is a secret room I know about." "It's a perfect hiding place." "Ben can use an escape tunnel to that room in case they return." "I worked it out in detail." "It's taken me a long time." "Borrowing blueprints, buying equipment." "Here, let me show you." "Get in there." "Oh, dear!" "l get it." "Industrial espionage." "We got a toy and the big boys want it." "You'll be here a while." "Someone'll let you out Monday." "Johnny Five'll knock you into the next zip code!" "The robot's working for us now." "When he's done, he'll be aluminum siding." "No, sir, please!" "I wonder if you'd help me finish my hiding place for our friend, Benjamin." "Certainly. I'd detach my right arm for Ben." "And my left." "Both arms." "Wait." "Underground excavation requires permits." "Water, phones-- l have all of them." "Low bridge." "This place is a mess." "I'm sorry I tried to sell your robot." "l'm a jerk. I'm sleazy." "You're getting warmer." "When you owe as much money as me, it's a lot of pressure." "Who would loan you money?" "l had to go to a shark." "You're telling me you borrowed money from a fish?" "A loan shark." "If you don't pay them back, they remove parts of your anatomy." "The shark money is what you used to help me?" "I did it to help us." "Give us our big break." "You are risking your popular body parts..." "...to start our business?" "Yeah, only then I got greedier." "A robot worth 1 1 million bucks!" "I couldn't stand it." "I knew it wouldn't work." "That thing ran me to hell and gone, which I deserve." "How do you control it?" "It really doesn't work so good." "There's something I've not told you." "It's difficult to control because it is just like us." "What?" "It's making a lot of mistakes because it is alive." "Alive?" "I know what it's like for Ben, working long hours for little pay." "I work with other people's money." "" Look, don't touch." "No mistakes."" "They treat me like a machine." "Like a machine?" "This makes you feel lonely." "Unhappiness." "Oh, Oscar, come here." "Come here." "I understand." "If those two dickheads smash up Johnny shut him down, he'll die?" "If he loses power, yes." "We got to get out of here!" "The two of us can take it." "Mind over matter." "Ready?" "On three." "One, two, three." "My mind's not getting over that matter, that's for sure." "Good golly!" "I am now missing my second date with Sandy." "Oh, no." "Squid. I need squid." "Wait a minute, they screwed up!" "Look! " Doo Wah's Chinese Restaurant."" "It's the address!" "It's where we are!" "To whom do we tell this news?" "Right." "It won't help Johnny." "We may be too late already." "Too bad we don't have a phone." "l left mine in the Mercedes." "l'm serious." "Here's a phone line I can wire into easily." "Can't you use that?" "You're a high-tech guy." "Can't you make something?" "Send them Morse code?" "Johnny's in the tunnel with Oscar Digging 1 0 feet below" "Johnny's in the tunnel with Oscar" "Juicy Fruit to hold the wire in place." "91 1 ." "Ringing!" "It is ringing." "Someone has picked up." "Quick, tell me the code." "Morse code." "l don't know!" "You don't?" "l thought you did!" "Some genius!" "You don't know Morse code?" "How am I supposed to know Morse code?" "!" "What is that?" "The Beach Boys, " Help Me, Rhoda." -" Rhonda."" "I'm studying pop music to increase my friendship with Sandy who I'll never see again." "Wait a minute." "Fred has this weird idea." "Will it work?" "She'll understand." "She's very smart in this field." "She has an answering machine?" "" Hi, I'm Sandy." "You're not here leave message and I'll get on you." "Please wait for beep."" "Beep." "First one." "Help me, Rhonda Help, help me, Rhonda" "7-8-7-8-8-9-7-4" "Madson steel alloy." "A-450." "l'll dig around it." "No!" "No, it's okay." "Oh, yes, yes." "This is the secret room." "I'd planned to enter with a torch." "Perhaps you have a faster way." "Entrance." "Portal." "A hole." "Yes." "Good morning." "You're on Daddy-O's Patio  with golden-oldie platter chatter." "We've got more on tap." "What the hell?" "Wait a minute." "Ben?" "My plasma cutter's dangerous to humans." "Turn here, I think." "Broadway, keep going." "If you're worried for your friend, why not call the police?" "I did." "Technically, he's missing." "He has to be gone 24 hours before it's official." "Something's wrong." "l know it." "Here's Broadway." "Left or right?" "Downtown, take a left!" "Hurry, please!" "We may not have much time." "Okay, Ben." "This is a long street." "Tony Romeo!" "1 6th Street!" "1 6th Street!" "Go, go!" "Hurry!" "Can't you go any faster?" "If you get a ticket, I'll pay." "Move!" "1 6th Street." "Next song?" "Where'd you learn all this?" "Leningrad." "Everything from ABBA to ZZ Top." "What is this?" "Otis Redding, " Dock of the Bay."" "" Dock of the Bay" !" "Of course!" "Go toward the docks!" "Okey-dokey." "Lucy, I'm home!" "Oh, my God!" "You're incredible!" "This is Benjamin's hiding place." "Isn't it great?" "Hiding place is Heimdall bank vault." "Well, yes." "Of course, that's the whole idea." "See?" "What's safer than a safe?" "But" "We need one more thing." "We need to clear out all my old junk." "Open this box." "Cutting hole in vault is not damage?" "Vandalism?" "Don't be silly, I own this vault." "You can't vandalize something that's already yours." "All right." "Hold this." "Open this." "Precious stones." "Diamonds." "The Vanderveer Collection." "This is your junk?" "Yeah." "Excuse me." "Oscar owns the Vanderveer Collection?" "Oscar!" "" Louie, Louie!"" "No, it's " Doo-doo" something." "" Doo Wah Diddy" !" "" Doo Wah Diddy" !" "What's a "doo wah diddy?"" ""The warmth in your heart makes others happy."" "I like this one." ""Opportunity is waiting." "You need but to open the door."" "Arm yourself." "Hi." "It's coming, and it's smarter than I thought!" "We should take the robot!" "Don't be absurd!" "Taking jewels without permission is stealing!" "Ripping off!" "You missed him!" "We'll finish it off." "You idiots!" "Artificial intelligence" "Will you shut up!" "Help!" "Police!" "Must find policeman!" "Constable!" "Gendarme!" "Hurry, we gotta get him!" "Police station." "Which way?" "Where is he?" "Explain yourself." "Do something!" "Enlighten me." "Why try to disassemble Johnny Five?" "Act-ay ared-scay." "ls your speech program scrambled?" "Act-ay ared-scay." "Et-gay ehind-bay im-hay!" "Et-gee ehind-bay im-hay!" "Oh, right. I'm scared." "We better go." "Yeah, me too." "Let's get out of here." "I don't understand this input." "What language is that?" "No, wait!" "Wreck it!" "It's a witness that can identify us!" "No!" "Stop!" "Please!" "Not a machine!" "Not disassemble!" "Am alive!" "Can die!" "Smash that damn thing!" "Please!" "Am alive!" "Stop!" "Do not kill me!" "It's still moving!" "Get it!" "Hit it!" "Finish it off!" "What the hell?" "Come back!" "Come back here!" "Good!" "Look out!" "Those things can kill you!" "Number Johnny Five?" "Fred, check outside." "Where is he?" "A secret, sliding, descending staircase." "Johnny Five?" "Hands up!" "What's the meaning of--?" "Don't move!" "Stand apart, do it now." "Now." "Have you seen a robot?" "Looks like a metal grasshopper." "No grasshoppers today?" "J. Five!" "Hey." "Stop!" "Oh, God!" "What did they do to you?" "I can't. I can't!" "The cops have him." "Me?" "Me?" "Fix?" "How?" "With what?" "Twist the purple wires together?" "Lo hell, bozo." "Hello, zobo." "Hello, bozo." "Are you okay now?" "No." "Backup power in go." "Going." "You can't plug into a wall?" "Main wer-pow" "Power circuits severed." "Must reconnect main battery." "Pen-o" " Open." "Quick, like a bunny." "You're bleeding!" "Battery fluid...." "No, Fred." "Not your shilk sirt." "Silk shirt." "Bombyx mori" "Forget it." "It's bandaged." "Okay now?" "Must repair wiring to memory." "My memory is me." "If it loses power, I die...." "Expire...." "Buck the kicket." "Just tell me what to do." "First, get soldering iron." "This is it?" "No, that's not it." "I can't do this!" "I'm no good at this!" "Fifteen minutes you have to get good." "Plenty of time...time." "In a sort of runic rhyme, rhyme." "All right!" "Don't lose it!" "Just tell me, step-by-step." "We were nowhere near it." "l was in a Chinese refrigerator." "lt's true!" "Smell him!" "Hurry, Fred." "Backup power is going." "Hurry!" "Jesus!" "Christ." "Lived from 1 to 33 A.D." "Those are in." "This is it, right?" "Hope so." "Here we go." "Told you you could do it." "I get your arm working, you can do the rest, right?" "K.O., Derf." "Fred." "That's what I said." "Derf." "Why dinosaurs?" "They were on sale. lt doesn't matter." "It doesn't matter." "This'll get us past customs." "Our gift to the Brazilian orphanage." "Oscar?" "That schlub?" "Yeah." "I can't believe it." "How are you?" "I'm 7 0 present, uh, president...percent repaired." "Why did Rasco lie to me?" "Try to disassemble?" "Rasc--?" "Oh, Oscar!" "The jewels!" "They must be worth...." "Who knows?" "37,862,000 lar-dolls." "I thought my friend he was." "Am naive." "Gullible." "Schlemiel." "Lesson one:" "Don't trust anybody." "I trust you...." "Now." "Don't. I wouldn't trust me." "I tried to cash in on you!" "Humans are so plicompcated." "Don't take it so hard." "It's life in the big city." "He suckered me, I'm the con man." "He locked me and Ben in a room of squid." "He locked you up?" "He did not smash, crush, dent, mangle you?" "He wanted us out of the way." "Kidnap the humans." "Destroy the machine!" "All right!" "Let's party!" "Take it easy." "Not human, but am a life form." "Have soul!" "He me killed to try!" "What are you going to do?" "Pursue, capture, incarcerate!" "These are serious guys!" "You're hurt and your backup is gone!" "I'm okay." "Just a few Bugs Bunny to work out in out in." "Perfectly functionality." "Listen to you!" "You can't talk right!" "A life form has to do what a life form has to do." "Move." "Cool it, life form!" "What is that?" "How much for it?" "Some way to treat a future U.S. citizen!" "Listen!" "A life is hanging on a tightrope." "Just got a 1 0-31 !" "A guy was ripped off by a robot." "You!" "Hello." "They broke in, and the robot" "You are who spotted the robot?" "Come with me." "l have to do this. I was robbed." "The scene of the crime." "You'll never find them." "They're gone." "Find them I will." "Activating spectro-analyser." "Tire tracks." "Goodyear radials, 21 5-751 5." "Hop on, Derf." "You can see their tire tracks?" "Piece of corn." "Can of cake." "Suck doup." "Oh, no." "Fluid!" "He is leaking." "Hydraulic?" "Brake fluid?" "Lighter fluid?" "You don't know your fluids." "It's battery fluid." "He's bleeding." "Here." "Parked." "Gone." "That-a-way." "Don't worry." "My cousin was a Harley." "There!" "Chrysler LeBaron." "Late model." "You did it!" "We got them!" "Headed south on Central, a man on a robot." "Do you copy?" "That is Johnny Five." "Charlie-six is on it." "I don't believe it." "We have to lose it!" "We'll never catch them." "Check this out." "Not a good idea." "Trust me." "Shortcut." "As the crow flies." "Saw utility maps in bookstore." "We're on 59th." "No suspect." "We are seeing none of them!" "I am requesting a helicopter immediately!" "4-1 0!" "You know what I'm standing in?" "Turned east on Lakeshore." "No, wait!" "What the hell?" "Go around them!" "Yeah, yeah." "Look out!" "We lost him." "You're underestimating him." "He'll find us." "You see them?" "Shh!" "Quiet." "Quiet?" "Do you know what just floated by?" "Vehicle is low on fuel." "lt is not!" "Door is open." "And you're going nowhere, bozos!" "What are you doing now?" "Pumping iron." "is the car moving?" "Prepare for launch!" "All systems are go." "Lift-off!" "What happened?" "Get them out." "Wait a minute." "Are you okay?" "Hey, you." "Here's Johnny!" "Give me that." "Okay, jerkoff." "You're gonna get recycled." "Recycle this, you meshuggenah schmuck!" "You ugly mother!" "Come on, you bug-eyed geek!" "Do you feel lucky, punk?" "We have a 1 0-34 between two men and a forklift." "What's a 1 0-34?" "Why does he not speak English?" "Where you going, speedy?" "Watch it!" "You're out of your league." "Dr. Ruth says, "Violence is an expression of sexual frustration."" "Saunders, you bastard, help me!" "Eep-kay im-hay usy-bay!" "You got water-cooled tubes!" "I'll scramble your RAM!" "I'm really scared, you know." "For sure." "Yes!" "Yes, J. Five!" "You rang?" "Ew-scray ou-yay, ozo-bay." "Okay, pilgrim it's roundup time." "Put your arms down, please." "Thanks." "You're welcome." "Five!" "Oscar!" "It's a dead end, Oscar." "Give it up!" "Hey!" "Stop!" "So long, sucker!" "Oh, yeah?" "Watch this!" "Can't lock on frequency." "I'll pass you off at the head." "Hey, tough guy" "Where is he?" "He's leaking!" "He'll die!" "No, Oscar!" "No!" "Forget it!" "You can't swim!" "Elevation!" "Altitude!" "Oscar, you will not get away!" "I am really pissed off!" "Me Johnny." "You busted." "What are you?" "Punishment from God?" "Get out of my way!" "Please." "Benjamin." "Number Johnny Five." "Where is your auxiliary power?" "What?" "Auxiliary!" "His backup battery's dead!" "He used it up!" "Damn it!" "I knew he wasn't up to this." "Medical person!" "Do your job!" "Get the defibrillator!" "What are you doing?" "Give it to me!" "Goodbye Benjamin." "Give me that!" "Do not touch me!" "Turn the power to topmost." "Get back!" "Get back!" "Number Johnny Five, come on!" "Come on." "Come on, Johnny Five!" "Come on!" "Please!" "Come on!" "Please say something." "Benjamin...." "My friend." "Oh, my God." "Johnny Five." "Are you completely operational?" "1 00 o/o intact?" "Perfectly..." "K.O." "Keep it on or I'll beat your lights!" "I've got such a headache!" "Number Johnny Five, I was so worried." "Pardon me." "See this guy?" "I know him." "Fast reader." "Close personal friend of mine." "Here's a guy that can read." "You want my toys?" "Everybody does." "We'll be late." "You want 5000?" "Wait six months, like everyone else." "I got three shifts working." "Not much I can do. I'll get back to you." "In sales all my life." "I finally got something that sells!" "What about this?" ""Johnny Five." "You know the name." "Now own the toy."" "Get in the car." "I solemnly swear to support and defend the Constitution of the United States of America." "Hurry up!" "Coming." "and I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same." "I take this obligation freely without mental reservation, or purpose of evasion." "So help me God." "Congratulations to you all." "Finally, it is my unique honour to recognize our first robotic citizen." "By this ceremony, the U.S. government decrees he shall have the same rights as every American citizen." "Congratulations to you Mr. Johnny Five." "All right!" "Congratulations, Johnny." "And you!" "Kissing." "Osculation." "Hot tchotchkes!" "My partner!" "How do you feel?" "How do I feel?" "I feel alive!" "Duration: 01:45:53,328 25 fps" "Subtitle by willi"