"I've never been so drunk I couldn't drive." "I've been so drunk, I couldn't climb stairs." "I've been so drunk, I couldn't get my fly open, and instead, I tried to pee down my leg through the cuff." "But I've always been able to drive home afterwards." "So I'm pretty cooked, but it's a freeway." "Who can fuck up a freeway?" "I mean, you get on the ramp, and off you go." "But then the world's full of assholes." "And sure enough, about six miles from my home," "I met one." "He was driving north on the south road, high-beams on, screaming towards me." "I swerve left, and this wing nut swerves right." "We meet at the guardrail." "I end up in a plaster suit, and this sauced banker bastard who guzzled down one too many at his country club social miraculously drives ten miles the wrong way without another car in sight, like he's looking for me." "Sends me through the windscreen into the arms of friendly Officer Waters and my steppop." "I don't think the prick even spilled his drink." "I got my fourth D-dub and a six-month vacation at Feather Lane Juvenile Detention Center, courtesy of the county court." "I think my steppop was looking for a more permanent solution." "He kept telling my ma I should be tried as an adult." "¶ ¶" "Ready?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I-I think I am." "It may look like spring outside, but Mother Nature is about to play the cruelest of all April Fools' jokes." "It's opening day." "Central Stadium is already snowed out, and winter is coming back." "A cold front from the north mixing with this high-pressure system is going to hold the front above us for the foreseeable future." "While the rest of the country can expect springlike temperatures, the Great Lakes area is looking at 8 to 12 inches by midnight and temperatures well below freezing." "Skies are already darkening, and an accumulation of moisture promises prolonged snow" "Snow on opening day." "It's the owners, Benji." "They're afraid of the sun, so they put stuff in the clouds so they get their domes." "You misunderstand." "It's-- it's not "if."" "That's "by all means if."" "That's not even a question." "It's just I was wondering if we shouldn't be discussing when." "You know, I mean it's his first day home and all." "Today." "Today, you're thinkin'?" "You're thinking today." "Today's the day." "Wolves, God's little janitors, feed on the sick, the weak, those unwilling or unable" "Wow, this is it." "I just wanted to thank you all, and I could not have done it without you." "You all were right there for me." "And if I can do it-- well, hell, if I can do it" "JJ, time to go." "Is it him?" "It can't be him." "It's too early to be him." "No." "It's them." "What?" "It's way too goddamn early for them." "Please, Bull, it's JJ's day." "It's a goddamn freak show is what it is, Phyllis." "Sis!" "Bernie!" "It's hard to believe it's spring, huh?" "Was driving bad, Dot?" "How are you?" "Ducky." "The game on, huh, Bull?" "Nah, it's snowed out." "Ah, watching the game with a nice cold one." "Nice chilly one." "Punch, Ernie?" "Dot?" "You know, Phyllis, to tell you the truth," "I'd rather have one of Bull's chilly ones there." "Guava punch-- the guavas are from Vietnam." "With bits of orange-- Ernie!" "Yes, sis?" "Punch?" "Who the fuck is drinking punch?" "I just thought with JJ coming home from the rehabilitation center, it might be nice to try and offer some nonalcoholic alternative." "Yes, yes, punch." "I think the boy probably knows there's such a thing as beer in this world, Phyllis." "That's not really the point, Bull." "I wonder what spring is like in Vietnam." "I don't see the point in punishing us 'cause the boy's got a problem." "This is some fancy punch, Phyllis." "I'm not punishing you, Bull, but for the next couple of weeks," "Dr. Charlie at the center urged me to keep alcoholic beverages out of the house." "This isn't easy for him." "And whatever we can do to help" "We could tie him to a stake in the backyard is what we could do." "He's been away six months." "This is not the same child who left here, Bull." "He was sick, and now he's healing." "And after the healing comes repentance, and after repentance, maybe, just maybe, forgiveness." "Where'd you read that?" "It was in one of the brochures they sent me." "Well, I'll tell you what, Phyllis," "I lost a $6,400 Monte Carlo 'cause of that boy, but I ain't even going to mention it." "I ain't going to mention Monte Carlos or seven years of my working life or the fact that the boy was clinically dead while driving my car at 115 miles an hour." "But I'll be goddamned if I'm going to lose a $2 sixer of beer as well." "I should check on the cake." "Dot, you want to see the cake?" "Sure." "The boy made this bed, and he damn well better learn to lie in it." "Don't you have another car that doesn't say "Drug Offender" on it?" "It says "Second Chance," JJ." "This is the chariot of second chances." "Beats the hell out of that police van that brought you to us, don't you think?" "Or your wheelchair." "Anyway, it's a good snow car." "It's a-- real road gripper." "Me and Dottie were talking on the way over, Bull, and, you know, we just want you to know, you know, everything that you're doing for JJ-- this party, you know, the punch" "you know, 'cause you get a little gravy on your shirt, you don't throw it away." "You send it to the professionals to get cleaned." "Give it to the pros." "What do you want to bet that sucker comes back good as new?" "Yes, sir." "Smelling like a rose." "Yep, it's funny." "I remembered the day the boy cost me my job, you know, at the post office." "Seeing him there at 3:00 in the morning." "Driving in my postal truck up and down the street, yelling," ""The British are coming;" "the British are coming."" "Police lined up behind him." "It was like the goddamn fourth of July parade." "Nine years and a pension right down the drain." "Now I work at Carpet Warehouse, and yeah," "I could be mad about it, but you know, now I just think it's-- funny." "Yep, funny." "I got you the schedule for the local AA meeting." "It's twice a week." "It's the basement of the Y." "It's with people like yourself, JJ, people who are trying to reassert their rightful, sober place in a world wrought with temptation." "Now, you know you shared a long winter together with everyone at the center, but it's going to feel like spring." "It feels like-- well, it feels like rebirth." "I can only stand around the kitchen looking at photo albums for so long-- Ernie." "Now, Dot!" "No smoking in my house." "JJ at Little League, JJ on a pony," "JJ doing whippets on his 10th birthday party." "Hey!" "No smoking in my house." "Okay." "Okay." "He was sick, and now he's healing." "After the healing comes repentance, and after repentance, maybe" "Aw, cut the shit, Ernie." "Bull, you gotta know when to fold 'em." "Ship's sinking and the lifeboat's full." "Right now there's room for you, there's room for Phyllis, and there's room for Benji." "No more." "It's about responsibility." "Seems to me you and Ernie managed to climb your way aboard my boat too." "Hey, it's your boy who cost my Ernie his job." "Aw, Dot, let's not" "Been two years, Uncle Ernie." "Two years you've been sticking me, but let me tell you who else I got in my lifeboat." "I got Phyllis' own Perry Mason in one pocket, acting like he did me some kind of favor by getting the boy off with juvenile detention and a $15,000 fine." "I got the vice president of Bloodsuckers, Incorporated, suing me for everything short of the drink he spilled all over himself during the collision." "And to top it off, I get a bill from the county charging me with $1,800 plus man-hours to fix the fucking guardrail." "I'll fix the fucking guardrail." "My Monte Carlo would make a good fucking guardrail." "But that's just what I'm saying." "You think you got a lot of troubles now?" "Wait till he kills somebody." "He may as well have killed Ernie." "Once a proud, determined" "Pensioned, insured-- government servant." "I had security, Bull." "We all did." "After two divorces, I finally believed I found my brick house." "I found my third little pig, and his name was Ernie." "Aw, Dot." "But JJ huffed and he puffed," "The Carpet Warehouse." "We're too old to be wondering where our next meal is coming from, Bull." "My poor little Ernie, crawling home after an eight-hour minimum-wage day, covered with lint." "How many carpet-munching jokes can one woman endure?" "You said you'd talk to him, Ernie." "Well, we--we did talk." "Yeah, we've been talking about how supportive you and Ernie are planning to be." "Now, what are you talking about?" "I'm talking about this." "You believe in me, right, Doc?" "Oh, it doesn't matter what I believe, JJ." "Your faith is what's important." "And just remember," "I'm just a phone call away." "And then?" "Oh, I've been in and out of the lives of families for 20 years, JJ, and you've got some good people playing on your side." "It's an insurance policy-- of JJ." "$75,000." "A life insurance policy on my boy?" "No, I just had one drawn up." "I think it's important for us to recognize that these programs are not always successful." "I always knew you liked to pick at corpses, Dot." "Stealing watches off dead soldiers, huh?" "This isn't easy to talk about, Bull." "I know." "Make yourself a drink." "Come on." "Fix one for Phyllis too." "I'm sure she'd like to toast her sister-in-law." "This has nothing to do with Phyllis." "Except that it's her boy you wanna knock off." "Yeah, well, it's your ass I'm covering." "It's your family's ass, in case next time, the boy ain't so lucky." "Everyone choose hiding places, okay?" "Oh!" "JJ turns 18 in a month." "That means for the next 33 days, you have absolute power of attorney over all matters pertaining to JJ." "Once he turns 18, his compliance is required, but for now..." "He doesn't have to know." "I know;" "I know." "That's right." "It's about responsibility." "Think about Benji." "He's paid enough." "This whole goddamn family's paid enough." "Yeah." "It's not like we're out to get the boy." "It's--it's simply" "An investment." "Investment." "Maybe we could drive around the block a couple times?" "Oh, JJ, it's time to go home." "It's time for the healing to begin." "¶ ¶" "All right, all right, 50-50." "$37,500 for you." "$37,500 for me-- and Ernie." "You wouldn't be rigging the game now, would you, Dot?" "You don't think I'd deliberately" "I want that boy playing on an even field." "We're just watching from the sidelines, right?" "This is just about JJ." "Say it!" "This is just about JJ." "Now, for the family, will you please sign on the fucking dots?" "What's the harm?" "What's the harm?" "What's the harm?" "He's here!" "Hide, hide!" "Everybody hide!" "Benji, Benji, hide, okay?" "He's here!" "Surprise!" "JJ, sweetie!" "Oh, did you get the magazines?" "I didn't know what kind of magazines to get you." "I wasn't sure what you like to do, aside from drugs." "Would you like some punch, sweetie?" "JJ." "Hey, Dot." "You're looking good, fella." "You were looking like a mummy there earlier, but now-- yes, sir, now..." "Oh, you remember Dr. Charlie from the clinic?" "Mrs. White, wonderful to see you again." "Oh, thank you, Doctor." "Oh, this--this is JJ's father, Bull." "Hi." "Benji and Ernie." "Yes, yes, a pleasure." "And Dot." "Dot, good to see you again." "You know each other?" "Oh, yeah, well, some of us visited on visiting day." "Well, it's nice to finally meet JJ's enablers." "What?" "It's a joke." "Mrs. White, I want to thank you for the magazines." "JJ graciously donated them to the center." "You said that we should try to get him interested in something outdoorsy." "Like smoking pot?" "I wish I could offer you some cake, but it's kind of on fire." "Um, would you like a bowl of cereal?" "No, no." "It's easy." "Are you sure?" "I'm sure." "No, I really just popped in to deliver the goods." "And with the weather as it is..." "You're not the same child who left here, eh?" "One day at a time, JJ." "It just gets easier." "Nice to have met all of you." "Not a drink in six months." "That's inner strength." "That comes from the inside." "Yes, sir." "You must miss it, though, sweetheart." "It was such a big part of your life, all of our lives." "It's--it's okay." "You must think about it, though." "Sure, but it--it's not really a question anymore." "'Cause it was fun, right?" "Fun." "It's okay." "Well, shoot, Dot, we better be motoring ourselves, before it gets too heavy out there." "Weather, huh?" "Sure is funny." "It was good to see you again, JJ." "Thanks." "Yep, bye, sport." "Can't tell you how good you're looking, huh?" "See you, sis." "Thanks for coming, guys." "Now, you be careful, all right?" "All right, drive careful." "Did Lizzie call?" "Lizzie?" "Uh, uh, no, honey, but Bobby Raven's been calling all week." "In fact, he was supposed to be here for the party." "Bobby coming here?" "You know, he seemed real excited to see you." "I bet." "You started smoking?" "Ma, I spent the last six months detoxing in a ward with 60 cocaine junkies and a ping-pong table." "All right, you got to understand, it got a little tense in there." "But I'm a nurse, sweetie." "The magazines weren't enough?" "Ma, the magazines were great." "There you go, Phyllis." "We gave the state 15 grand;" "they send the boy back a smokestack." "Now, as long as we're clearing things up here, you might have noticed a Volkswagen Beetle parked out there next to that scrap heap that says Monte Carlo on its sides." "I can't begin to tell you how much I hate that Nazi whore." "I got my gut hanging over the gearshift, crunched up like a veal." "And every time I get in that car," "I think of you." "It's your face I see in the rearview mirror, JJ." "Can't this wait, Bull?" "Tiptoes." "Boy, you're living on tiptoes." "Now, once this little soiree breaks up," "I suggest that you tiptoe outside and shovel a path so we can get to work in the morning." "We?" "Surprise, sweetie." "Bull--Bull-- Bull managed to get you a job at the steel mill." "Get you a little pocket money, a little spending money." "Court money, guardrail money." "Geez, Ma, I got these meetings I got to go to." "Them's at night, son." "Fortunately, work starts in the morning." "What time in the morning?" "6:00 a.m." "Welcome home, son." "It's for veterans wounded in battle." "They receive the Purple Heart, and they get to go home." "Which program was it?" "Huh?" "Bull says you were on a program." "Which one was it?" "No, I was in a program." "It's something that teaches-- you know, like school." "But it's different, 'cause they taught me not to do something." "Was it successful?" "Who've you been talking to, Benji?" "Well, Bull says that he needs an assurance-- you know, that the program was successful, because sometimes it's not." "Bull says he needs an assurance?" "From who?" "I don't know." "Are you okay, JJ?" "Of course I am." "Look, you talk to me from now on, okay?" "Bull doesn't know anything." "'Kay." "Is the driveway shoveled?" "Yeah." "It'll get better, honey, I promise." "Good night, Mom." "Good night." "Come on, Benji." "JJ needs to be alone." "There was this rumor going around when we were kids that if you ate a mouthful of Pop Rocks and washed it down with soda, your stomach would explode." "It was supposed to have happened to that kid Mikey from the cereal commercial." "And we're shooting the shit about him in Bobby Raven's tree house, and before you know it, I'm coming back from the store with a sixer of RC and a baggie of Pop Rocks." "So I'm up there with my last fucking supper and everybody's looking at me, kind of with their eyes half-closed, not sure if they really want to see a stomach explode." "I make some half-assed nine-year-old toast, and down I go with a full baggie of Pop Rocks and half a can on soda." "Clink." "It got really quiet." "Not a sound." "We waited." "We waited like five minutes." "I guess in the end, we all felt really gypped." "Uh, did you think your stomach would explode?" "I don't remember." "Because if you thought it would explode, then you were committing suicide, JJ." "And that's a death wish." "I don't think I thought that far ahead." "Oh, no, I don't think you did either, because in that moment, you were quite satisfied being the center of attention." "Nobody was going anywhere, Doc." "No, see, you'd found a new way to impress your friends." "You didn't need to be good at T-ball." "You could just kill yourself instead." "So you embarked on a nine-year quest to do just that." "Um, tell me, was your father a hard man to impress?" "My father died when I was three." "Wh-what do you remember?" "I remember he won the Purple Heart." "He pinned it on me." "He told me I was his soldier." "How was he wounded?" "He saved his platoon." "Oh." "Was he a drinking man?" "I don't remember." "Your stepfather, Bull, had his own child, right?" "And so you had to find a way to make him pay attention to you." "Didn't he?" "You were the center of attention in the hospital, in the courtroom?" "It wasn't my fault." "The cocksucker was on the wrong side of the road." "Yeah, how fast were you going?" "115 miles an hour." "Why were you going 115 miles an hour?" "You know, it's hard to ignore a boy with a rope around his neck." "Hey, JJ, let's go!" "The whore's leaving." "¶ ¶" "So I'd pick the kids up at 7:00, drive them home at 3:00." "It was the time in between that got a little complicated." "The PTA thought that a 30-foot yellow school bus parked in front of the Sticky Kitty Bar and Lounge was an eyesore." "So I soon worked out a plan to buy my booze ahead of time." "Well, then the PTA had a problem with empty schnapps bottles rolling under the bus seats every time I made a pickup." "There is just no pleasing these people, huh?" "Coke, root beer, alcohol." "Rum." "Ding!" "S." "Itch." "Scratch." "T." "Chair." "Table." "Ding!" "U." "Hawaiian." "Hula!" "Guitar." "No, ukulele." "Ding!" "V." "Mountain." "Volcano." "Ding, ding, ding!" "Hello." "Honey, do you mind?" "I'll let the cat in." "Can you close the door after you?" "Sure." "Hello." "Yeah, I'm alone." "¶ ¶" "Oh, shit." "No, stop, stop!" "No!" "Hey, it's the $6 million man." "JJ, it's Bobby." "See?" "I see." "You shouldn't smoke, JJ." "Thank you, Bobby." "She's so great." "I mean, don't you think it's hard enough, and you come here?" "Well, it didn't make much fiscal sense to wait for you to come to me." "I would've come." "Oh, sure, you would've come." "What, in another six months?" "No." "I've waited long enough." "Mom, sorry, Bobby can't stay." "Sure he can stay." "No, he can't stay;" "he forgot something." "Well, anything that I've forgotten certainly can stay forgotten for a bowl of cereal." "How was the meeting?" "Inspiring." "Why don't you show me your room, JJ?" "So did you think it was just going to go away?" "Come on, Bobby-- you'll get your money." "'Cause you were gone a long time, man." "Things change." "I mean, even out here in Bumblefuckville, things change." "Are you threatening me, Bobby?" "Don't become more trouble than you're worth, all right?" "And you're only worth $3,500." "What did you want me to do?" "I was in rehab for six months." "Where was I supposed to get $3,500?" "Rehab." "That was really clever, that rehab stuff, man." "I gotta hand it to you." "Bravo." "It was that or jail, Bobby." "It was no joke." "All right, I'm finished." "I'm clean." "You're clean, ha ha ha." "That's my favorite part." "Look, man, we used to drink Sterno together." "I used to spray air freshener in your face." "It's me." "It's Bobby Raven, man." "I'm not going to tell anybody." "Really, Bobby, I'm done." "I just got some FedExed to me this morning, man." "It's fat, pure, fluffy." "Come on." "I haven't even stepped on it yet, man." "Just you and me and nobody else'll know." "I mean, we used to have such good times together." "You'll get your money." "No, you don't understand, that's not" "Bobby, I used to fuck up, all right?" "I know I used to fuck up, but I'm better now, all right?" "I got a job at the steel plant." "I can keep a job." "You can work for me." "Just small stuff." "Just little deliveries until the debt's paid off, huh?" "No." "Well, fuck you, then, man." "I wouldn't let you wash my fucking car, you little prick!" "I just need some time, Bobby." "Your birthday's coming up, isn't it?" "Remember those models that I used to get you?" "We sniffed the glue." "We fucking did." "We never built one of those things, did we?" "It was the glue." "Aw, man, but I missed your last one." "I got you this little $20 bottle of scotch." "I figured that we'd get tossed like we were friends or something, you know?" "And you came over, and you didn't want to hang out." "You just wanted to get your 8-ball and be on your way." "It was all business with you, man." "Just going off, doing my coke with that fleabag Lizzie." "How is she, huh?" "How is Lizzie?" "I haven't seen her." "Yeah, but she must have wrote, right?" "Come down to the center for some conjugal visits?" "Ah!" "Ah!" "Huh?" "Bake you a little cake." "Put a little file inside so you could break out or something?" "I mean, hey, what do you need a fleabag like Lizzie for when you got a piece of ass like Dot in the family?" "That's disgusting." "Don't fucking judge me!" "I'm going to give you something really special for your birthday this year, JJ." "I'm going to give you time." "You have till May 3 to give me my money." "That's your 18th birthday." "So don't fuck it up, okay?" "We're not little kids anymore, JJ." "You know?" "We have to learn how to handle our problems like adults." "But that doesn't mean we still can't be friends, okay?" "So I need you to hold on to this for me." "Take this." "It's not safe with me right now." "For Christ's sakes, I just got out of rehab." "I don't give a fuck." "It's yours." "You bought it." "Bobby, don't leave this with me." "Feels good to help out a friend, huh?" "You scared?" "You scared of being my friend?" "You don't think it's going to keep snowing forever, do you?" "Nah, it's spring." "You know, it can't last forever." "Maybe, um, you can play catch with me tomorrow-- if it ain't snowing." "Yeah." "Good night." "Good night, Benji." "There was this epidemic that hit our school in the 10th grade." "Some miserable, prepubescent chemistry lab rat locked out of Daddy's liquor cabinet figures out that if you put a handkerchief in front of your face and spray the hankie with Glade, you'd get high, all right?" "Real high." "Pretty soon, a quarter of the school's got a bottle of air freshener in their locker, right, and kids are dropping like flies." "I mean, one kid goes blind." "A freshman manages to sterilize himself." "And finally, they call this big, huge assembly meeting, and the principal's standing in the middle of it all." "He's looking real tired and embarrassed." "And the first thing he says to us is," ""I can't believe I have to tell you this," ""but spraying your face with air freshener can have disastrous effects."" "Now, it's sold out all over town." "And we have to drive 20 miles into the next county for air freshener." "You never worried about going blind?" "I knew what I was doing." "The other kids can run a four-minute mile or play the clarinet." "Yeah, and you were proficient at drug abuse?" "Where do you think that was going to get you, JJ?" "I didn't think that way." "Oh, I know, yes-- that far ahead." "And everyone had to stop what they were doing and watch you self-destruct?" "Tell us about Benji." "Benji's going to be a baseball player." "Going to be?" "What, as in tomorrow?" "Benji's got a chance." "Yeah, because Benji allowed himself a future." "Benji was allowed a future." "I was ran off the day my daddy died." "So as long as you were dying, you had an audience." "That's a pretty horrible show, JJ." "Now, Benji shouldn't even be in a PG movie." "Do you think it's right he should be made to watch you?" "I don't want to talk about Benji anymore." "Rise and shine, sleepyhead." "It's whoring' time." "¶ I woulda come around ¶" "¶ if you had only been in. ¶" "¶ You were not as late as me. ¶" "¶ You're trying to fit in. ¶" "¶ You gotta lose the halo and climb out of your skin. ¶" "¶ Unhitch-- life's a bitch ¶" "¶ when you're feeling like a mouse ¶" "¶ that the cat dragged in. ¶" "¶ The sun is up. ¶" "¶ The day is wasting away. ¶" "¶ Gotta make yourself right. ¶" "¶ Gotta get yourself right. ¶" "¶ Lighter than you have ever been. ¶" "¶ Yeah. ¶ ¶" "¶ ¶" "Aw, come on, JJ." "Makes you look like one of the boys." "To tell you the truth, some of them think you only got that job 'cause of me." "Born with a silver spoon in your mouth, so to speak." "Breeds resentment." "I'm embarrassed of my royal lineage." "It comes off, though." "No, it wears off." "Hey." "What happened?" "Nothing." "An accident." "Accident?" "Of course." "Bull, I got-- I got to talk to you." "I think she brought somebody else in." "What?" "She's a very committed lady." "If JJ wants to blow his own brains out, that's one thing, but if she thinks she's" "She's really a good girl." "I suggest you put your pants back on and get control of this situation, Uncle." "Whoa, look at you." "All dressed to kill." "Yeah, you going out on a big hunt?" "Uh, Lizzie's coming over." "We're supposed to go out." "Uh, I-I can't go out like this." "Tell her it's leprosy." "Pop, you've got to loan me 20 bucks." "You high again?" "All right." "I'll get it." "You're looking good, son." "You're batting 1,000 in my book." "Hey, you're minding the store now, right, Uncle?" "Right on top of the store." "Nothing to worry about." "Thank you, Ernie." "Oh, look at you." "Hey." "Hey." "What happened?" "Oh, it was an accident at the steel plant." "An accident?" "Yeah, it's no big deal." "Let me get your coat." "It's nice that you're back." "Well, here you are." "Here I am." "I thought maybe we could go get a burger, you know, maybe, or go to the arcade, if you want." "How 'bout the Third Base?" "You want to drink?" "Well, sure, yeah." "We can-- we can do that." "I-I mean, you can-- you know, drink, I mean." "You just kind of got to get me home kind of early, 'cause I got this 6:00 a.m. shift tomorrow." "Get you home?" "I don't have a car." "Well, jeez, Lizzie, we kind of got a problem, 'cause my license is, like, beyond revoked." "Bobby's got a car." "¶ I don't want to see you saying hallelujah time." "¶ Oh, ho, no. ¶" "¶ Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo doo-doo. ¶" "¶ If anybody calls, I'll be sitting-- ¶" "Thanks, Bobby." "I'll call you." "¶ Oh, ho, no. ¶" "¶ Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo doo-doo. ¶" "¶ It only hurts me when I... ¶ ¶" "Hey." "What's up, JJ?" "Hey, JJ." "Hey, welcome home, kid." "Hey." "Stu, how are you?" "Hey, I almost went out of business without you, JJ." "Yeah." "Um, I'll get a, um-- a Long Island iced tea and a" "Tequila?" "No, no, no." "How 'bout a, um, something real fun, you know?" "Kamikaze?" "How 'bout a Coke and orange soda mixed?" "Feels funny drinking here alone." "I can't now, Lizzie." "I mean, you understand." "Yeah, yeah, I understand." "You know, it wasn't easy being in there, watching one day lead into the next for six fucking months." "They treat us like six-year-olds." "And I thought of you." "I mean, I thought you'd visit, and I thought you'd write me a letter." "Yeah, I just-- I've been busy." "Wh-What were you doing?" "Um, I got a job after graduation." "Waitressing." "There's the job, and I got no car, and you know that." "And you don't have a stamp either, huh?" "Or an envelope?" "Or any common fucking decency?" "Look, I came here tonight, didn't I?" "Hey, babies, good to see you." "I'm doing all right." "Um, can I get, uh-- let me get, uh, three tequilas." "Were you running around with somebody?" "Were you running around with Bobby?" "He's dangerous, all right?" "You have no idea." "Are you going to give him his money?" "What?" "He's your friend, JJ." "My friend says he's going to break my legs." "What do you expect?" "You run out of town for six months and leave him holding a $3,500 fuck you." "He's got people to answer to, you know?" "I mean, people who aren't quite as understanding as he is." "Friends don't do that to each other." "Are you collecting for him now?" "Okay." "Hey, uh," "I'm not interrupting, am I?" "Actually, Bobby" "Well, fuck it." "Oh, man." "We were actually just talking about you." "Oh, I bet you were." "Hey, a toast, huh?" "To JJ and his big birthday." "Okay." "Gah!" "To old times, huh?" "You know, JJ," "I'm really happy for you." "I mean, you found your path, and I wish you all the luck in the world sticking to it." "It just-- it looks like your path ends at the plant." "You don't have to send her around anymore, all right?" "You'll get your money." "Wait, JJ." "Look, J, I'm really sorry, man." "I didn't mean for the money to get in the way of our friendship." "Hey, JJ." "What do you do?" "What do you say?" "What the fuck?" "Uh, Pops, did you pick up my paycheck for this week?" "Yeah, sure, it's on the table." "246 bucks?" "Ah--I worked 50 hours." "Yeah, well, what'd you expect?" "It ain't exactly rocket science." "This isn't going to do it." "90 bucks in taxes!" "Welcome to the free world." "This isn't going to do it." "Pop, you got to get me something else." "Like what?" "Like anything else." "¶ ¶" "Car." "No." "Hup, plus one." "Cap." "I'm going crazy, Doc." "I got to get out of here." "But you didn't get cap?" "No, you're not listening to me." "JJ," "I'm listening." "They're your family." "My family is the best reason I can think to drink myself into a coma." "Did I say it was going to be easy?" "Did I say you weren't going to doubt yourself every day?" "Cap?" "No, you're not listening." "It was right there." "JJ, you can't live in the clinic." "Recovery begins at home." "Besides, your mother deserves a son, and your brother deserves a brother." "So what did you find?" "I found LSD." "Uh, I'm not sure you can use abbreviations." "It's in the dictionary." "Okay, fine, fine." "That's one." "I found morphine." "JJ, morphine's not there." "Sure it is." "It's seven letters;" "it's extra." "That's eight letters, and there are no Ms or Os or Hs." "I could've sworn I saw them there." "Look, they're mixed!" "What?" "They're mixed." "And how are my living-room gladiators?" "We're not in the living room." "We're not?" "We're in the Colosseum!" "The Colosseum." "Okay, let me guess:" "which one of you is the lion?" "Well, you can't tell?" "Tall glass of vodka for my gladiator." "Don't turn your back on this one." "Oh, I should say not." "I've learned a thing or two about counting chickens." "What did you say?" "I've learned a thing or two" "No, Mom, what did you say?" "I said a tall glass of lemonade for my gladiator." "Okay, JJ, the secret is suffixes." "You find a suffix like, um" "E-N-T-- "ent."" "Yeah, "ent," perfect." "Take a suffix like "ent"" "and then you can start to build words like relent, sent, bent-- tequila." "What?" "Tent." "Rock cocaine." "What?" "Vent." "Excellent." "Wait, stop." "Cop." "Pop." "Fat long lines of Bolivian marching powder hidden away in the speaker?" "Beauty, there's another one." "I gotta go use the can." "Okay, sure." "How's he doing, Doctor?" "Oh, stronger-- stronger every day." "Yeah?" "You don't suppose you could talk to him about smoking?" "It's just so-- dirty." "Okay, I'll talk to him." "Well, I have to go to the hospital, Doctor, so... as far as I'm concerned, you're one of the family." "Thank you, Phyllis." "Thank you." "¶ ¶" "After a couple years of daily cocaine abuse," "I could run a Kleenex up one nostril and out the other." "I did it for my son's fifth birthday party." "Kids loved it." "You know, what the hell?" "It was cheaper than a clown." "I didn't have a lot of money to spend on clowns for my five-year-old back then." "I needed every cent just to get out of bed in the morning." "Hey, hon, you going somewhere?" "I told you I was." "Yes." "That's right, of course." "I remember." "Um, where?" "Spanish class." "Oh, si, si, señora." "What?" "It means "yes, yes, honey."" "I'm late, Ernie." "Dot, we need to talk." "About what?" "About JJ." "There's somebody else, isn't there?" "Hey." "Get in." "I can walk." "Come on;" "you can get in." "What?" "What's wrong, huh?" "What, are you mad at me?" "Or is it just you don't want to get in my car?" "No, hold on." "No, come here, come here!" "Why are you doing this?" "Because I can." "I need my money, JJ." "JJ." "Officer Waters." "Higher power." "Everything all right?" "Yeah, we're good." "I'm good, yeah." "I got 2 1/2 weeks." "You got 16 days." "Call me, okay?" "You know, Dot, if there's somebody else involved, it's okay." "Are you questioning me, Ernie?" "I--you got a little enthusiastic, that's all." "Now, you just break it off, that's all." "It's my fault." "I'm gullible." "I think with my heart instead of my head." "And now you, my knight in shining armor, turns into a suspicious little stock boy accusing me of conspiring against my nephew." "I'm late." "Just stop it, Dot." "That's all." "Whatever you started, just stop it now!" "Sure, Ernie." "Whatever you say." "¶ ¶" "She's learning Spanish now." "Ain't that something?" "My little señorita." "Good night, Ernie." "Well, yeah, sure, people talk, but you know, I-I-I think they're just jealous, what me and Dot got." "Yeah." "Hey, Bobby." "Whaddya know, whaddya say?" "Hey." "Uh-huh." "JJ." "JJ." "Yeah." "What?" "When?" "Shit." "Uh, Uncle Ernie--he was walking back from the bar, and it seems a car must have-- must have lost control and a hit-and-run or something, and they found him in the snowbank." "He's in a coma." "Do you think I don't know that everybody's talking about me?" "Like I go in the bank, and everybody suddenly shuts up." "I never have to wait in line." "It was like I had foam coming out of my mouth or something." "It ain't contagious." "It's just bad luck." "Uncle Ernie seems to have caught a mild case of it." "Yeah, well, that don't keep him from talking." "Oh, no, they just" "How is Ernie?" "Still unconscious." "Fortunately, the freezing cold slowed the bleeding, you know, and the doctor seemed to feel he could be all right when he wakes up." "If he wakes up." "Poor little Ernie." "JJ, run out and get your aunt's suitcase, sweetie, okay?" "What?" "She's staying here?" "Well, she certainly can't stay alone now." "Oh, no, it's all right, Phyllis." "I'll be perfectly fine at home." "See, she'll be fine." "Absolutely not, Dot." "This family might not have a lot, but we have each other." "You were here for JJ;" "we're going to be here for you." "Here?" "Be nice." "Here, sweetie." "Here's Mr. Bear, okay?" "Thank you." "I'm going to make sure we have clean towels." "Let me ask you something, there, Dot." "Did Ernie have life insurance?" "It's just bad luck, Bull." "You know Ernie." "He was probably a little tipsy." "He was stumbling home from the bar." "He fell." "Somebody gave him a little bump." "That ain't bad luck;" "that's manslaughter." "Hmm." "Where was your car last night, Dot?" "The police already checked it out." "It's fine." "No dents, no pings." "Well, you know, hospital's expensive." "Like I said, it's just bad luck." "Besides, I have other investments." "Not anymore." "What in the world do you think you're talking about?" "Deal's off is what I'm talking about." "Oh, I'm sorry, Bull, but it doesn't work that way." "The month's paid for, so there is still 13 days left in this ball game." "There were rules, Dot, and you broke 'em." "You brought somebody else in." "Foul, Dot." "You fouled out!" "I wonder what Phyllis'll think about all this." "She'll understand." "Oh, she won't understand about this." "You ought to take a look at that contract again." "Funny--you won't find my name anywhere on it." "I'll explain it to her." "I'm sorry, Bull." "We can't afford to be selfish now." "I tried to explain that to Ernie." "Look, I'll give you your fucking 2 grand back." "You just call it off." "Oh, that's real sweet of you, Bull." "Don't got the stomach for it?" "Thank God I do." "Thank God I know what's best for this family." "What's best is you keep away from JJ." "I'm warning you." "Sure, Bull." "Anything you say." "Why'd you take me out of group?" "I thought you enjoyed having an audience too much." "What's the matter?" "No more funny anecdotes?" "I think I should be back in group." "I think we should be alone until you recognize that you are a very real person." "I don't think you ever truly believe you existed." "Don't get nutty on me, Doc." "But you exist." "Hospital records, court records." "People are paying attention." "Hey, kid, you're late." "Here you go, ma'am." "All right, here you go." "Thanks." "It's all there." "Uh, your receipt." "Are you okay?" "Coping." "How was work?" "It was fine." "Where's Mom and Pop?" "It's just you and me, JJ." "JJ, freshen me up." "Thanks, sweetheart." "Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!" "I didn't say when." "Warms me up." "I'm sorry." "How long's it been, JJ?" "Six months." "Ah." "16 days." "Doesn't seem fair, does it?" "Working hard like you do, no Miller Time for you." "I guess I've had enough Miller Time for the entire NASCAR circuit." "Sit down, JJ." "Let me ask you something." "How long are you supposed to keep this up?" "Is there a test or something?" "Look, it's really not about proving anything, all right?" "This is just me now." "Just you?" "No, it's not you, JJ." "It's not you at all." "Hey, remember when I caught you stealing my pills?" "Remember?" "Ernie was off at work, and I was in the next room with the holy Father, sneaking him down to his skivvies." "He was moaning away in Latin." "You were singing He's Got the Whole World in His Hands." "And then I caught you lying at the bottom of the bathtub, trying to hide, and you were zonked out on half a bottle of Valium." "I learned a lot about the Bible trapped in that bathroom." "We're all people, JJ." "We're all just weak people." "Sit over here." "Come on, honey." "Sit with your Aunt Dot." "I want to show you something." "What is it?" "Read it." "It's an insurance policy." "Yeah, I found it in the glove compartment of the Beetle." "It's an awful lot of money." "Bull's careful." "I'm sure we all have insurance." "Yeah, yeah, of course we do." "It's for, what, $75,000." "Well, you're certainly worth $75,000." "Insurance is for everybody." "Mm-hmm." "It's just in case." "Bull is very" "Bull's being careful;" "yeah, you said." "Yeah." "You liked listening to us?" "Me and the deacon?" "Shit, Dot, I mean" "You can tell me, JJ." "It ain't like we're related or anything." "I'll bet you couldn't wait to tell all your friends." "I didn't tell anybody." "Nobody?" "It was your secret?" "Our secret." "Well, I ain't such an old woman that we can't have more secrets, JJ." "Why don't you have a drink with me?" "Dot..." "Come on." "Share mine with me." "It isn't snowing!" "You promised to play baseball with me when it ain't snowing!" "And it's not!" "Yeah, I did." "I did." "You know, I did." "I promised Benji, and, you know, I'd love to talk to you, Dot, and, um, thank you, but, you know, tryouts are coming up, and, um, and the weather being like it is." "And damn, you know?" "Isn't weather funny?" "Button up." "Good evening." "A freak winter storm watch continues, as we expect an addition 6 to 10 inches of snow through the night." "Schools and most businesses remain closed, the highways blocked from the Parkway north, and road crews are doing everything they can to keep emergency routes open." "Is there spring in sight, Cindi?" "You know what I think, Bob?" "What's that, Cindi?" "Seems to me that spring took a cruise to Aruba." "¶ Watch it, watch it. ¶" "¶ Watch it, watch it. ¶" "¶ Watch it, watch it. ¶" "¶ It's so nice ¶" "¶ to finally feel the times changing on. ¶" "¶ Happy to say ¶" "¶ that everything new is old again. ¶" "¶ Everything old has been retired. ¶" "Remember that show In Search Of, Cindi?" "Yep, sure do, Bob." "Seems to me like maybe Mr. Spock ought to go in search of spring." "Ha, in search of spring." "¶ No one's falling for it. ¶" "¶ No one's falling for the new you. ¶" "¶ No one's falling for not a peep out of you. ¶" "¶ Don't peek. ¶" "¶ You're going to freak out ¶" "¶ when you see how I can make you dream ¶" "¶ like a slot machine. ¶" "This is even worse than the one in '99, isn't it?" "¶ You can drag it out of me, ¶" "¶ but just drive away. ¶" "¶ Pale wind. ¶" "¶ Still not falling for the new you. ¶" "¶ Watch it. ¶ ¶" "You're never going to let me forget that." "I remember." "I put a little OT that night." "Well, Bob..." "$291." "That ain't so bad." "Hey, minus the $20 you owe me, plus the $20, let's say, for food." "JJ?" "I'm sorry." "I'm--I'm--I'm tired." "It's nothing." "Just tired." "Hey, look, the $20, you know-- forget about the $20." "I have your money, Bull." "You said they needed somebody for night maintenance?" "Yeah, sure." "I'll check." "Maybe you should just take it easy for a few weeks." "What do you care?" "Just ask, huh, Bull?" "I got to check out early tonight." "Where are you going?" "I'm going out." "That okay?" "Yeah, sure, JJ." "Well, just when you thought it was safe to put away the snowsuit, here comes mountains of white powder, mountains and mountains of the flaky stuff, numbing your face and nose." "¶ ¶" "Shouldn't you be in school?" "It's, um, snowed out." "Lot of snow days." "You know, you're just going to have to make them up at the end of the year." "Yeah." "Fuck off, Benji." "Leaving a girlfriend behind?" "Uh, no, sir." "You have had a girlfriend in the past, haven't you?" "Ye-Yes, sir." "And you liked having a girlfriend?" "It was okay." "I'm not gay, sir, if that's what you're trying not to ask." "We'll see you when you're 18, son." "I'm such a selfish bastard, Doc." "I'm so sorry." "Well, nobody wants your apologies." "And see, what you're going through is a process of meeting yourself, and it's not going to be easy." "You're not going to like everything you learn, but you can face it, sober and aware." "What if I can't stand myself?" "Well, it's natural to be afraid." "Fear is a-- is a necessary doorway." "I've never felt afraid." "Well, see, what's growing inside of you is a feeling, caring person, and if you weren't afraid to lose that, then you really would be dead." "With tremendous underwater thrusts, the bull tunnels his way inside the narrow" "The act is a painful, powerful" "Who is it?" "Come here." "Shh, shh!" "What the" "Shhhhhhhhh!" "We're going to go for a ride." "No, we're going to go right now." "Put your fucking coat on." "¶ ¶" "I need my fucking money, JJ." "You said my birthday, Bobby." "You know what?" "Fuck that, man." "That's-- that's seven days away." "I need it now." "I need it right the fuck now." "I just picked up some extra shifts." "Some guy wants me to look after his mother, see?" "I'm shoveling snow." "How much you got, huh?" "It's not what I thought" "I'd be making at the plant." "How much do you have?" "I don't know, Bobby." "I'm trying, all right?" "$611?" "What the fuck were you going to do, huh?" "Fuck." "Like it really fucking matters anyway, huh?" "Oh, fuck, I'm dead!" "I'm fucking dead!" "They're going to ki" "They're going to kill me!" "Who is?" "These fucking guys." "They came all the way from Florida." "What do they want?" "$16,000-- my head in a box." "Oh, fuck." "Hey, you got a gun?" "Huh?" "You got to get out of here, Bobby." "Bull has a gun." "I know Bull has a fucking gun." "There's no gun, Bobby, all right?" "Look, you got to get out of here." "Where the fuck am I going to go?" "You could stay at my house, all right?" "You just got to be out of here by the morning." "You'll let me stay at your house after all the shit that we've been through?" "We grew up together;" "of course." "That's real fucking white of you, man." "Man, if we had a fucking gun" "We could show some Cubans what a couple of hicks could do with some teamwork and a shotgun, huh?" "We'd fucking blast them." "Fuck the gun, Bobby, all right?" "Go to the cops." "Fuck the cops, man." "We have to think, all right?" "You got my stash?" "Held out that long, huh?" "That's really great, man;" "that's really fucking great." "Congratulations, you know?" "I want you to know that I wasn't going to hurt you really." "You know?" "I just" "I mean, you know that, right?" "You know that I wasn't going to hurt you." "We never stopped being friends." "We both said some shit, but it was bullshit." "Sure, Bobby, we're still friends." "I just wanted it to be the same, man." "Bobby, you got to run." "I mean, Bull might have some money." "He keeps his wallet on the dresser." "It's going to be different, man." "You know, if I could just figure out a way to walk away from all of this." "It's going to be so different." "I just need some time to think of how I can make this right, you know?" "Different." "The only thing I have is 16 bucks, man." "I figure this way you have some gas money." "Bobby?" "Bobby?" "Bobby?" "Bobby?" "Bobby?" "¶ ¶" "¶ These things, I've found. ¶" "¶ This girl, these sounds. ¶" "¶ These days are all right. ¶" "¶ These days and these nights. ¶" "¶ These things almost make me smile. ¶" "¶ These things almost make me smile. ¶" "¶ ¶" "¶ ¶" "¶ ¶" "JJ, let's go." "I'm not going." "What's the matter?" "You sick?" "What--you didn't stay up all night watching them whales hump, did you?" "I'm not going." "Well, what do you want me to tell them?" "Tell them I'm not going." "Hey." "Oh, honey, are you all right?" "Get out." "Out!" "Get the fuck out!" "JJ?" "¶ ¶" "¶ I can tell you were wrong. ¶" "¶ The sky opened wide. ¶" "¶ Out of the storm. ¶" "¶ Where will you hide?" "¶" "¶ The king is a despot;" "the queen is a liar. ¶" "¶ The king is a despot;" "his sisters are thieves. ¶" "¶ The king is a despot;" "his sons are diseased. ¶ ¶" "Sweetie?" "I'm--I'm just going to leave the tray right here, okay?" "He's been in his room three days." "He doesn't eat;" "he doesn't wash." "We're out of bourbon again." "How can we be out of bourbon again?" "Well, I guess you and Bull must have been drinking more than you thought." "Yeah, I guess." "Bobby's funeral is scheduled for JJ's birthday." "Why is it so hard?" "Why is everything so goddamn hard?" "Did the autopsy come back?" "Apparently, he had taken some drugs, but it wasn't just drugs." "Somebody had mixed in a large quantity of something called white arsenic." "I guess Bobby had some rough friends." "Elizabeth, come in, come in." "Oh, sweetie." "I'm busy!" "It's me, JJ." "Can I come in?" "What do you want?" "Please?" "It happens like this, Benji." "Your friends are all playing T-ball one day, and the next day, they're joining marijuana clubs." "You be careful." "I'll be careful, Mom." "You want a drink?" "Yeah, if you got one." "You're at the Whites'." "There's always something to drink at the Whites'." "Your mom was real happy to see me." "Yeah, well, she has a weak heart." "I'm sorry about Bobby." "Yeah." "We screwed up." "What do you want me to say?" "That you miss him?" "That you loved him?" "You left me for him." "Right when I needed you." "I know that." "I'm sorry." "But you have to understand" "Understand what?" "That I didn't want it all to end." "That I don't want to grow old here like my mom." "That you came back, and suddenly, it was all over for you." "Is there more you had in mind, Lizzie?" "Is this all right?" "Is this what you expected?" "It's, um, your birthday soon." "Here." "It's us." "Bobby's luau." "I'm so sorry, JJ." "Thank you, Lizzie." "JJ." "JJ." "Yeah?" "There's something I have to ask you." "Yeah?" "Do you still have Bobby's stash?" "What?" "Come on, now, JJ." "I mean, it's not right that you should get all of it now." "What?" "I mean, you don't even do the stuff, right?" "Get out." "Wait, no, I mean, there is just nothing without Bobby here." "I mean, there is nothing with him gone." "We can share, JJ." "Get out!" "Please, wait, wait." "Just don't throw everything away." "I can still remember what you like." "Get out!" "Get the fuck out!" "You're making a big mistake, JJ!" "Get out!" "When are you going to get another chance like this?" "Get out!" "One day, you're going to be out there pitching touchdowns and making your loving aunt proud of you." "Hmm?" "Hey, Sasquatch, it's all gone." "There's apple strudel schnapps." "Where is this from?" "All right!" "That's enough, JJ." "Bull, that such some really great tough love." "Thank you." "All's that I ask is that you keep it from your mother." "Don't--don't talk to me about my mother." "You owe it to her." "You owe it to her to be sober on your birthday." "She can't take it." "She's no match for you, JJ." "I'm a real handful, huh, Bull?" "I can imagine it'd be a lot easier if I was just out of the way." "What are you talking about?" "Does Mom know?" "Know what?" "You stop it." "Stop it, all right?" "You bet against me now!" "Now, please, please just tell me, was-- did Phyllis know?" "She has no idea." "I only wanted what was best, JJ." "And at the time, I believed it was for the best." "Yeah, well, I'm going into the army tomorrow." "They want me." "Just like your father." "You don't have any idea, JJ." "You were only three years old when it happened." "What do you remember?" "Remember him bouncing you on his knee, hmm?" "Remember him changing your diapers or taking you out to the Dairy Queen?" "Didn't happen." "You want to know who your old man was?" "Finish off that bottle and go take a good look in the mirror." "Why are you doing this?" "You want to know where that Purple Heart came from?" "His still blew up and shot glass through his leg." "So they sent him home to wage his own war against his wife and his son." "I was his best friend, JJ, so I stayed around to watch the carnage for as much as I could stand." "Your old man-- standing over your bed, armed with a bottle, screaming down at you," ""Quit your crying!" "Soldiers don't cry!"" "You're lying." ""Only flatfoots and fairies and Section 8s cry."" "And he'd cry right along with you, and your mother would cry, and we'd gather around and watch him drink." "Please stop!" "There was no car accident." "We just told you that to spare you." "Your father bled to death in his own bedroom, pissing the bed blood red on purpose because he knew your mother would have to clean it up." "It was the cruelest suicide ever imagined." "He took as much of your mother with him as he could, and he would've gotten you, too, if she hadn't been there to protect you." "Please stop." "You're fucking lying." "You want to kill yourself?" "Don't do it so all of us can see." "Is that what you want, Bull?" "Look, I know it's been rough." "I know it's been unfair." "Be good to her." "I'm begging you." "¶ ¶" "Are you ready?" "Where are you going?" "The hospital-- Ernie woke up, remember?" "I'm not feeling so hot, Mom." "Are you sick, sweetie?" "Have you been eating strudel?" "Why can't we go visit Ernie tomorrow?" "Tomorrow's a busy day, honey." "We got the funeral and then your birthday party." "Reservations at the Ponderosa." "Hear that, Dot?" "Birthday." "Nine short hours from now." "We can go visit him tomorrow morning, Mom." "Go." "Just go." "I'll stay with him, Phyllis." "No, you won't." "All of you, just go." "What do you mean, no, I won't?" "Your husband just came out of a coma." "Don't you think it'd be nice if you were there?" "Go, all right!" "Just go!" "Go!" "Oh, sweet Jesus." "Now what?" "I can't imagine." "Doctor." "Hi." "Hello, Phyllis." "How are you, Doctor?" "What a nice surprise." "I understand that JJ lost a friend." "I know;" "I'll go." "Hello, JJ." "Yeah." "It's been hard, Doctor." "Caring doesn't just happen in a hospital, Phyllis." "I'll stay too, if it'll help." "You're coming." "Uh, that's all right, Dot." "It's probably if we're left alone." "Sure." "All right, Bull, I'm coming." "Just start the car without me." "I have to put on my coat." "It's over, Dot." "8 hours and 50 minutes." "All that money, Bull-- tell me you ain't disappointed." "I ain't disappointed." "It ain't over yet." "The fat lady hasn't sung." "JJ, snow's gone!" "JJ!" "It ain't snowing." "So you're going to go outside and play." "Um, JJ said that I could play with JJ." "You can play alone, Benji." "I can play with JJ." "No, JJ's all grown up now." "Time to play by yourself, Benji." "See you later." "Benji." "Is that you?" "What are you doing here?" "Just trying to help you get what you want." "Apple strudel schnapps." "It's a hard way to go." "Probably less painful to cut your wrists." "Oh." "Happy birthday, JJ." "Let's talk." "We've been talking for seven months, Doc." "Aw, that wasn't talking." "That was just rhetoric, JJ." "Not much fun anymore, is it?" "No." "Wasn't much fun being sober, and now it's not much fun being drunk." "These past seven months-- almost like they never happened." "Why don't you let yourself out?" "Quite a piece of ass, isn't she?" "Your aunt?" "What do you want?" "I want to tell you the truth, JJ, and I want you to tell me the truth." "You said it yourself, Doc." "I'm right back where I started." "I'm older." "You know how many actually make it, JJ?" "3 %." "That's 3 out of 100." "Hmm." "Sometimes it takes a year, sometimes a week, sometimes just a day before you end up drunk, high, dead." "What's your point?"