"Prologue:" "the wife, the suicide and the tree" "We're not gonna stay together just for the kids." "It's ridiculous, to stay together just for them." "You think you've found someone better?" "I didn't say that." "With or without him, it would have ended this way." "When it's over, it's over." "Any chance we could fuck?" " For the 15th time... no." "Even with a condom?" "Not even then." "You're fucking that other guy without a condom." "Not even with a condom?" "A quickie, around 6 a.m.?" "Not even if he doesn't know?" "Just once..." " No." "Even after 16 years?" "One little fuck." " You'll forget me in no time." "To die is nothing." "It's the last thing we do." " Yes." "We're really going to kill ourselves." "Under a tree, right?" "Yes." "There's a really nice tree in the woods." "It's an open space, as big as this room." "And the day you want to put an end to things, nice and peaceful in the afternoon sun, you go and sit against your tree, surrounded by all the moss." "And I told my friends in the village, first we'll throw a party, and when we've had enough, we'll put an end to things." "And he said:" ""We should do that together." "First the party and then we'll put an end to things together, in the woods."" "Here is water." "Over there, the stream goes down towards the valley of the Maas and there begins the path to my tree, my tree of life." "That's where I feel peaceful." "And that's where I want to end in delight and happiness." "OK." "Now there is a little path and then we pass by a little stream." "There it is." "No, it's gone." "It used to be there." "It stood here." "And this was a beautiful spot." "Unless it was over there." "No." "It's gone." "Tough luck." "With Marcel Meijs and Bob Spaenhoven" "Don't Leave Me" "Chapter 1:" "Heartache" "I'm gonna lose it." "Sixteen years." "I'm gonna lose it." "Shit." "It's not that I'm crying." "It's my nerves." "I'm stronger than that." "I'm really stronger than that." "So the good Lord tells me." "I don't even dare to enter my own house." "Right." "Shall we move your stuff?" "Just give me two minutes." "I don't dare enter my own house." "I'm gonna lose it." " OK." "Shall we turn around?" " Let's turn around." "I'm not crying." " Come on." "I'm not a sissy." "I'm really not a sissy." "I hope there's alcohol in the house." "Or I'll freak out." "Sixteen years." "And they move out at night." "What cowards." "What an asshole." "A real bastard." "Look at this." "My kids have to come here..." "My kids are coming here later on." ""And you'll have the kids on weekends."" "Look." "What a piece of shit." "How can I take care of my kids like this?" "Hey, stop whining." " They emptied it pretty quick." "They even took the landphone." "Asshole." "You're a free man now, act like one." " Call this free?" "I'm losing three little kids." " No." "Yes." "Can you see them living here?" "Yes." " You think this is normal?" "So what?" "She's such an idiot." "But you loved her." " I still do." "That's good." "You have to keep on loving her." "You feel hurt?" " I want to disappear." "I want to disappear." "You lost." "You made the mistake of your life." "You have to feel bad." "Yeah?" "Why?" "Otherwise you don't feel the pain." "I'm gonna sleep here for half an hour." "No way." "You sleep outside." "Not here." "Face it." "Can you still get up?" "Go on, stand up." "Come on, stand up." "I'm sleeping here." "She threw me out." "He's so stupid." "He doesn't understand..." "He doesn't understand..." "He doesn't understand this is gonna turn out bad." "Shit." "I'm wasted." "Thank goodness." "You're still alive." "Thank God." "You've burned me." "You've burned me." "You've burned me." "You've burned me." "Bob, you burned me." "That enough?" " Fill it up." "I didn't cut much because the wind was cold." "I cut 5-6 trees..." " Yeah, the wind's cold." "I can feel it here." "At a certain point I said:" ""No, I quit." "I'm not gonna catch cold for a pile of wood," "I quit..."" "Then I went home, drank a few little beers." "Then I said: "I'll sharpen my sawing machines now."" "I sharpened both." "That way, they're perfect, ready for battle." "But Saturday... we'll have a bunch of wood to cut." "It's already felled." "We'll cut it into metre lengths." "I've made my stocks for the winter." "Yeah, right." "You have enough for three winters." "And your wife?" "How many winters will you keep her?" "I need a wife for the winter." "You can have her if you want." " No, I don't want anyone anymore." "It's a new mattress." "Put it in the other room." "Where do they come from?" "I bought them." "And a new bed." "Put the mattress close to us so the four of us sleep together." "OK?" "So we're on the small mattress..." " You sleep with me and Raphaël." "I don't know what you'll do for pajamas though..." "This goes on top of the mattress." "I'll do it." "Could you do that now, Alexis?" "As for the sheets..." "I don't know if she left us any." "Very good, Alexis." " It's not hard to dismantle a bed." "Put it next to the mattress in our room so we're all together for the night." "Watch out." " I wanna sleep here alone." "No." " It's too cold in here." "You're sick." "Put the heater on, then." " Yes, there's a heater." "You want to sleep without your father?" " No." "No, he says." "You don't want to sleep without your father?" "Eh, buddy?" "You don't want to sleep without your father?" "It's been 11 years." " 11 years." "In March, the 2nd of March." "So almost 11 years." "I wrote a..." "A poem?" " Yes, sort of.." "It's called:" ""When Trees Were Made Of Wood."" "Why did I wrote that?" "Because..." "When I lit my fire, I used that stuff.." "Bits of wood from Ikea." "That's not wood." "It goes:" ""Back then, trees were made of real wood." "The sun was warm." "A century ago the porky pigs had tails." "And in Winter, came deep white snow." "The nights were hot and gusty." "A border ran through the middle of the woods, where reckless men got stuck in the mud." "The cows had names and were milked by hand." "Above and below ground, millions of mushrooms grew." "You could smell them from far away." "The wooden stoves snored and radiated a warmth that the children of our grandchildren will miss." "Back then, people knew what pain was." "And therefore, also, happiness and joy." "The women were not yet virtual and had smooth thighs." "For us, there was a life hereafter." "The cock gleamed in the evening light while the big band kept on playing." "For my... sweet Ansofie." "Friday, March 2nd, 2001."" "It's nice." " Is it pretty?" "Yes." " See?" "Yes, it's good." "It's proof that I love her." " Yes, Bob." "For ever and ever." " Yes." "It moves you." " Of course, I wrote it." "It's incredibly poetic." "It's a good thing I've got Vivian." "If not, I'd shoot myself" "Oh no, you're not going to be like Marcel, are you?" "No, but..." "I have Vivian..." "She's there, she's around me..." "If she wasn't there..." "You'd have been at my wake long ago." "Yes?" " Yes." "She should be here by now." "Who wants to see my drawings?" "I'm going to draw a caravan." " Caravan." "Mom is driving, OK?" " Car-a-van." "Car-a-van." "See?" "When I drive it, it means it's driving." "See?" " It means it's driving." "So it's the key, over here..." "Yes, but..." "Actually, the mobile home is in the meadow." "Yes." "I like it..." "Keep it down, Raphael..." "So, I've got the kids Thursday and Friday." "I don't know." " Well, you should." "I'm going to the town hall now." "If I get them into the school at Aublain, it's OK." "I work until 8, Hervé until 6 then pick up the kids..." "Day care closes before 8 anyway." "Send me a text message then." "If they can go to school in Aublain, there's no problem." "Leave me a message." "So I know for Thursday and Friday." "I'll call the school later to tell them I live in Couvin." "But I don't know when they can go to the new school." "Straight away, I hope." "Daddy, are you coming with us?" " Come on, Raphael." "No, he's not coming." "He's going to watch us leave." "Yes." " Don't fall." "Want me to carry you?" " No." "I want you to come with us." "Come on." "Are you coming with us?" "I'm in pain." " But I told you, we don't die when we have enough people around us." "That gives me strength." " How many pills do you need to take?" "You need 18 to 28 Diazepam tranquilizers." "18 or 28..." " Plus two shots of alcohol and you're gone." "18 or 28, two shots..." " If you want, I'll do it straight away." "Do as you please but I'm telling you, you'll fail, you'll end up" "in a wheelchair." "Like that." " You'll push me around." "No, you'll mess up." "Are we winning?" "Are we making progress or what?" "I'll try to hang in there, Bob." "I'll try to hang in there." "I swear." "I don't want to commit suicide by myself I want to do it together." " See?" "Listen to what you're saying." "Some people don't want to do it alone." " No." "They want to kill others at the same time, to feel accompanied." "That's not good." "But it's better if we do it together." " Right." "But we don't care." "We don't care." "We've lived enough." "We've got at least another 10 years." " I won't last another 10 years." "Maybe 10 hours." " No, 10 years for me." "Not 10 more years." " Yes, you will." "Chapter 2:" "Friendship" "I had a drink and I feel better." "It's crazy." "Shit." "All broken." " Stick it back together." "Stick it back together?" "We should've heated it before." "I warned you." " It was too cold." "Too old, you mean." " Ah, too old." "Hang on." "If I hold this side..." "Now you have to look for the nail." " I've found it." "But will it hold?" "There you go." "Marcel the professional." "Now how do we get this off, dammit?" "Watch out, you'll get stuck." "Goddammit..." "Sorry, Bob." "I'm sorry." "Wait." "I'll get the pliers." "It's ruined." "Got another?" " No." "None left?" "It's better than nothing." "It'll catch two flies." "Did you brush your teeth today?" "Me?" "Never." "We'll go for a drink afterwards." "Have a bite to eat." "It hurts already." "Me too." "I'm laughing now, but just wait..." "Hello, gentlemen." " I always go first." "I'm scared, as usual." "How are you?" " I'm fine." "Please enter." "It's strange that we're so afraid of the dentist." "Is it a normal reaction?" " You'll be fine." "It's OK." "It's OK." "You'll be fine." "I apologize." " You're doing fine." "He's cleaning his instruments, and then... it's your turn to suffer." "I had to vomit." "I vomit all the time." "I vomited." "When there are none left... how long will it take to make my dentures?" "Around six weeks." " Six weeks?" "We'll see." " OK." "Do you want the tooth?" " What?" "Want the tooth?" " No, you can keep it." "There you go." " Thank you." "Well, well..." "OK, Marcel?" " I'll be OK." "Did he pull any teeth?" " There's two left." "Two left?" " Yes." "Today, I'll prepare Miracoli." "6 minutes." "Miracoli in 6 minutes?" " With Parmesan." "Yes, Miracoli." " That's why they call it Miracoli, 'cos it's done in 6 minutes." "That's a miracle." "Ah, I don't know." "Do you have any spices?" "I'm all out." "I've balsamic, mustard, chili..." "Arizona or Tabasco?" "Arizona?" "Harissa." " Harissa." "Or Tabasco." "Until tomorrow." "I'm in the mood for..." "You'll empty the tube." "And then you'll give it back?" "When it's empty." " Exactly." "No, I fancy something spicy today." "I took a beer, out of your car." "From the trunk." "I'll do some spaghetti." "Parmezanto." "Pimento." "Then I'll get wasted." "Have you seen the new star?" "I saw Venus yesterday." " No, the new one." "Look." "Up there." "Yesterday, I saw Venus." "Yes." "Little Bear, Great Bear and Venus." "You weren't there." "I was in the woods." "You're the smart one." "I walked through the woods at night." "And you were drinking." "It's carnival in Le Mesnil." "Daddy, it's carnival in Le Mesnil." "Do you remember, we went to that hall?" "Alexis, get dressed." "Find my shoes." " Where are we going?" "To Le Mesnil..." "Get dressed, Manon." "Put on your shoes." "Alexis, find my shoes and a big sweater." "Are we going to the Carnival?" " Yes." "Put your sweater on." "Chapter 3:" "Lost" "I think this man will take you." "Watch out for the car." "I'll take him." "No problem." "I'm aching all over, damn it." "Screw this." "It's normal you're gonna die." " That cop woke me up." "He didn't want to drive me." "I said: "Can't you drive me to Le Mesnil?"" "He says: "No."" "Turn around here." "Where are you going?" "15 more kilometres isn't going to sober me up." "I'd rather sleep it off on the bench." "Here, take a sniff of this." "It's ammonia, it'll make you feel good as new." "Did you do it?" "Do it again." "Closer." "You have to inhale." "And again." "What's it supposed to do?" " Again." "It sobers you up straight away." "There you go." "Feel the difference?" "Feel better?" " You're not gonna get me." "I swear, you won't get me." "No way." "We have to kill..." " The beast." "You won't get me." "Now you can have a drink." " Yes, a little drink." "Then I'll be off Where's my helmet?" "Shit." "Does the trick, doesn't it?" "Give me another one." "Give me another." " Does the trick." "You won't get me, I swear." "I told you it does the trick." " You won't get me." "Good for the throat." "Where's my helmet?" " On your scooter." "Ah, yes." "And my keys?" "I'm off I don't feel well." "Did you take my keys again?" " No." "Must be on the scooter, then." "Right." "Sorry, I have to go." "Feel it?" "I know one thing for sure, Bob..." "What?" " I'm going to cure myself" "You'd better." " You'll see." "Go and see what I just threw up." "It's all misery." "It's poison." "It's all misery." "I'm gonna cure myself" "It's 10 days in the hospital's alcoholism rehab facility." "You'll be treated with medication, mainly Valium, to substitute the alcohol." "But you'll leave without Valium." "Without..." " Without Valium." "You'll be weaned off it in hospital." "Mine's a severe case." " You'll no longer be physically dependent." "You tell me that alcohol..." " It calls out to me." "If we go to get petrol, I'll buy a beer." "It's bad." "The physical dependency - the trembling, the craving, etc." "And the relief you feel when you drink - will be over in 10 days." "But the rest will be hard to do." "You can't start again." "It will be up to you not to take a beer from the fridge, you need to be totally abstinent." "It's over." "You must say goodbye to alcohol forever." "Because you will never be able to control your consumption." "Your brain is now..." " I'm obsessed by beer." "...dependent." "You'll be dependent for the rest of your life." "You'll never be able to control it." "You must never drink again, or you'll relapse into the nightmare." "At what age did you start drinking?" "In the army." "But it wasn't like now." "2 or 3 drinks with dinner." " So, after you turned 18?" "No, '78, '79." "But nothing like now." "And in your family?" "My father was an alcoholic." "Maybe you should..." " He died from it." "My brother, too." " Due to a complication?" "42 years old." "Alcohol poisoning." "François." "My father died of alcohol poisoning, too." "M" " E" "I" "J" " S, Marcel." "30th November, 1959." "He'll need to be put on a glucose drip as soon as possible." "Goodbye, thank you." "Not you?" "Not together?" " I've been drinking for 15 years... half a litre of rum every day." "I've done all sorts of jobs." "The last was 5-6 years as a truck driver." "Leaving at 2 a. m..." " A difficult life." "...delivering flowers to supermarkets all over the country." "I never missed a day's work." "It has never stopped me from living my life." "Two years ago, I took my children to Mali, we walked in the mountains in Dogon country" "20 km a day, 200 km in all, and for six weeks," "I had no rum, no cigars." "Everyone told me I'd get withdrawal symptoms." "But I didn't." " You are not addicted?" "I like it..." "But I don't drink wine or beer." "I drink water, coffee, milk... and rum." " Is Monday OK for you?" "No problem." "What do I have to do?" "Come in with an empty stomach..." "Don't wanna go." "You'll come back next week, OK?" " No." "There's a dummy here." "You'll be back next week, Raphael." "Daddy's going away tomorrow." "No." " He has some work to do." "I want to stay." "I want to stay." "Daddy has some work to do." "I want to stay." "Daddy has to work tomorrow." " I want to come with you." "You can't." "It's with a heavy spade." "Daddy's going to dig the garden." "He's going to plant carrots, endives, lettuce, tomatoes..." "Like Grandpa." "A garden like Grandpa's." " Come on, sweetie." "Off you go, son." " No." "Same old story." "I want to stay." "Don't forget his dummy." "Memene, can I have a red wine, please?" "Right, I'll leave you to it." "Well?" "Don't I get a drink?" " They're not coming." "They're not coming?" " They're not coming." "No, she was cleaning the church." "What'll you have?" "A coke?" " A glass of wine." "Glass of wine." " So it's not your last day." "You've put it off to Monday." "Then it'll get serious." "Why aren't you coming with me?" " Where?" "To do the 10-day cure." "Why?" " She didn't think it was necessary." "She said if I didn't have any withdrawal symptoms... if I could stop drinking for six weeks without physical withdrawal, it's not necessary." "But I can visit you every day." "That's different." "What I found weird, was her saying it will be very tough for those ten days." "That's normal." " She said that." "You always said:" ""I'll end it all."" "Yes." " Because you want to slip away, stop thinking..." "Doing yourself in is running away, not facing up to things," "it's forgetting, all that." "What you have to do now is..." "If you're over withdrawal after ten days, you're gonna say:" ""Wow, I feel good."" "Because it will do you good." "If at that moment you can say:" ""I prefer this... to how things were before"," "you come out a winner." "That'll be the decisive moment." "It's also the moment when you must talk to..." "You should try to be alone as little as possible." "Have the kids with you, or get a little job, or get out, or have people round, etc." "That's what you need to do." "You have to reorganize your life." "Here we go." "Today, most people will arrive late." "Because half of them... haven't changed to summertime yet." "So they'll be late." "And anyway, there'll be a waiting line at the entrance." "You don't wear lenses or glasses?" "No." "Only for reading." " I see." "Food-wise, no special diet?" " No." "I'll write that down." "0475..." "It's Bob's number." " Yes." "I only have him for now." " Yes. 0475..." "Mind your head." " Ah, yes." "Is it normal that the drops aren't dropping?" "The drops..." "They drop automatically." " Ah, slowly." "Chapter 4:" "Withdrawal" "Damn, I took a wrong turn." "It's not this way." "14,7." "Your blood pressure is OK." "It's OK?" "Stay in bed for a while." "Would you like me to raise your backrest?" "I'd like a painkiller." " I'll get you one." "I'm afraid it's going to start again." "I'll get a bedpan, too." "Try to lie straight, sir." "There you go." "I'll get a bedpan so you can stay in bed." "I drank a Schweppes, could that be the cause?" "Before taking anything, I'll call you." "If you like." " It's better." "Because if I make a mistake, it'll be even worse." "Thank you very much, madam." " No problem." "There's not enough jam." " Damn it." "How do they know which one is which?" "God, these are 2 and a half" " What?" "2 and a half" "There goes one..." "Swallow them all at once." " I can't." "I can't." "Women swallow everything." " Yes." "You got that fast." "At night, I chopped..." "So she puts that in with a chicken, 'cos a chicken..." "A hen is too greasy." "So she uses chicken, she cuts off the meat and we make vol-au-vent." " Yes." "On Sundays, we eat vol-au-vent." "Today, it's soup." "Tomorrow..." "I don't know." "Maybe some stock." "Will she put it in a Tupperware, in the freezer?" "Some days..." "Some days, you can't be bothered." "So we grab a Tupperware, and just fry a bit of meat." "Basta, it's done." "Bob, have a good day." " Bye." "Bye." "Hello." "You have reached the voice-mail of" "Marcel..." " Meijs." "I know." "You don't feel like committing suicide?" "You aren't particularly sad right now?" "I lost my wife five months ago." "What do you mean by "losing"?" " She left me for someone else, with my three children." "How can I say this?" "I ended up alone, with no furniture, nothing." "Just a mattress on the floor." "I'd throw my clothes in the trash." "I'd get the bags mixed up and throw stuff in the trash." "So I realized I had a problem." "I'd take a big beer from the fridge..." " You're having memory problems." "Exactly." " Is that still the case?" "Are you still having trouble with your memory?" "Do you know what day it is today?" " The 28th." "I saw that on my mobile." " Is it the 28th?" "On the mobile phone it was written 28th." "I thought it was the 29th today..." " It's the 29th?" "What day is it today?" "Thursday." " OK." "Do you know what year it is?" " 2012." "Shit." "Goddammit." "Shit." "I don't believe it." "Hello?" "Amadou?" "Where are you?" "Where?" "I can't hear you, I'm outside." "I'm at the Metteko, fancy coming for a beer?" "And how is Dries doing?" " OK, it was his birthday yesterday." "And?" "Nothing new under the sun." "He's keeping busy, still living with his parents." "He's looking for a new path." "For a...?" " A new path." "Wasn't he in Germany?" " No, that was Lucas." "Lucas, yes." " That was 4-5 years ago." "Lucas is working now, too." "And the guy who was dating your cousin?" "Dries?" "That's over." "Over?" " Yes." "Since when?" " Last year." "Something like that." "When will we see you again in the village?" "When I have time to get back into the habit of going there..." "I've been busy lately." "Always on the go." "I was drawing every day." "And I've got a lot on now, too..." "When is it?" " Monday and Thursday, yes." "How much?" "That'll be 6 euros 80." "Yes, that's it." "That's the price." "It's the best I can do." "There you go." " Thank you." "Can they hear us outside?" "The people next door...?" "What does a pretty woman scream after she's come ten times?" "What does she scream?" " Don't know. "Well done"?" ""Let's do it again." - "Let's do it again"?" "You're liars, you're both liars." " Because it's never happened to me?" "It's not dirty." "You're nurses, you know about these things." "What does a pretty girl scream when she's come 10 times?" "She screams:" ""Thank you, Marcel."" "I see." "Goddam..." "I'll buy you a drink after work." "What time do you finish?" "We are finished." " Shall we go?" "Really?" " We've been here since 7 a.m." "Yes, you were still here yesterday evening." "Adverts." "Louis." "Yes, Louis." "Come." "They're good." "I need sugar." "I get a yoghourt and when I'm in need, I take this." "Sugar." "Can you put it in your pocket?" "Have you got the can, too?" " Yes." "Shall we go outside?" " Yes." "A quick slurp." "Don't you get bored?" "No?" "What did you do last night?" "Ah yes, Roland came." "He brought the dildo." " And?" "All the nurses held it, took pictures." "They asked if they could borrow it." "Battery powered?" " There were none in it." "But they had some in the office." "They took the dildo with them." "Yes, Bob." "I'm doing OK." "That guy asked to stay longer." "Who?" " The old guy in my room, 'cos he likes me." "Really?" " Yes." "We had a good laugh yesterday." " He's a farmer in..." "In Couvin." "Up the hill, where the sauna is." "My God." " Sit down." "You've really decided to stop drinking?" " Yes." "You swear?" " It's not about swearing." "It's a matter of willpower." "I will think of you..." "I'll hold on..." "Listen..." " If I stay like this I'll make it." "You swear?" "On your children's lives?" "No, not on my children." "It's not right." "What if I lose it?" "I won't." "My children might..." "The children will..." " No, I want to stop." "And I will." "That's good." "Very good." "And I'm doing OK, except at night." "Don't go near a Jupiler." "Bob drank rum in front of me just now." "Bob, the cowboy, he drank rum in front of me, but I wasn't..." "Normally, we drink rum together." "So the guy is a bad influence?" "He's an alcoholic." " Another one?" "He says he's not, but he is." "His face..." " And to a degree..." "Less?" " Less?" "One and a half litres of rum a day." " What?" "He drinks one and a half litres of rum a day." "He says half a litre." "But it's a litre plus a half" "And he forgets the litre..." " Yes." "But that's not cheap." "9 euros a litre, in France." "He gets it in France?" " In Fumay." "He get's it there." "If I ever pass through Oignies..." "Which street?" "Pairrière. 46." " Pairrière Street." "I'll come and check on you." "If you're not, it's because of.." " No, I won't drink." "You'll see." " It won't be easy." "It's not crying, it's letting go..." "Very good." "Let go, then." "It doesn't matter." "Just don't make me cry with you." "You have to let it all out." " That's true." "If it stays inside my brain..." " It'll be worse." "You'll turn it over and over, the pressure will rise and you might do something stupid" " That's the problem I have now." "That's what happened today." "Precisely that." "My head was spinning: "What must I do?" "What am I going to do?" "How's it going to go?"" "Give it time." "You need to be patient." "Give yourself time." "Breathe..." "Would you like some water?" "Yes, drink some if you want." " I'm afraid I might do something stupid." "What do you mean, stupid?" "Drinking again, or something else?" " No, not drinking." "I want to change my life completely." "I'm afraid I'm going to do something bad." "Take my scooter..." "That's what scares me." "You think you could go through with it?" "Right now." "I'd swallow three packets of pills." "I'd do it here and now." " No." "I'd do it... right now." "That bad." "So you're really suffering." " Yes, I'm suffering." "We're not just here to hand out drugs, set up drips, prepare juices..." "If you feel bad psychologically, we're here for you." "Here I can call somebody." "And they quickly give me something." "You have support." " But out there..." "You're scared you won't manage alone?" " Yes." "That's what we're here for." "Even when you get out, if you're not feeling well, don't hesitate to call us." "Or come in." "You're not that far." " I have no one anymore." "I've no family, nothing." " What about your visitors?" "Which ones?" " The man with the hat, who brought you..." "The guy with the hat just laughs." "He doesn't understand that I'm really sick." "On the outside, do I look normal?" "I never thought that I would end up" "I'm 52 now " "I never thought I'd end up, at the age of 52, undergoing rehab in hospital." "It never occurred to me." "Chapter 5:" "Home Sweet Home" "Raphaël." "Can I hold it?" " Wait." "He's had enough." "Shit." "Calm down." "Calm down, butterfly." " Calm down, butterfly." "He's had enough." "Go on." "Do this." "I'm scared." " What's it like?" "He'll stay." "I'll try to take him." "No, he wants to get away." "He's had enough." "Poor thing." "Raphaël, open the door." "You want me to open the door?" "We'll set him free." "He'll leave by himself" "He's not leaving." "Go on, beat it." "Wait." " He's tired." "He's tired." "Watch it, don't kill him." "Give me your..." "There, he's gone." "I've never seen an orange one before." " Goodbye!" "Bye, little monster." " Goodbye!" "Bye, my baby." "Had fun?" "Do you love me?" "You do, don't you?" "Yes?" "Up yours." "Bye." " Bye." "Blow me a kiss, Manon." "Little monster." "Up yours." " Up yours." "Just a tiny drop." "Don't worry, I'll stay on my feet." "It's the last time you'll see me drink." " A little drop of what?" "Not wine." "A drop of rum." "It's for my throat." "Bob, it's bad." " Yes?" "Come on." "Open your glass." "No funny stuff, Bob." "Yes, but..." "You want me to taste first?" " Yes." "To make sure it's not ammonia?" "You laugh, but..." "Is it OK?" " Yes, it's OK." "I suffered, you know." " That's good." "If I drink a red wine now, it's over." "I'll be on the floor." "It burns well." "It burns well." "I hadn't seen that yet." "My God, look at that." "There's a hole somewhere." " What do you burn?" "Wood with a bit of coal on top." " It works well." "I had two beers in one month and a bit." "And I didn't even fancy them." "I had some of those little mice." "And now one glass of alcohol." "Because I know it's my last day." "Little mice?" " Little sweets." "Those little mice sweets." "One beer." "I sat on the sidewalk, and who comes along?" "The guy who comes to check." "I thought: "I don't believe it."" "And?" " Nothing." "One beer, in one month..." "I'm out of chili." "I'll eat." "No, another drink." "I'll have another drink." "I haven't seen my son for almost a year." "Yes, you have." "You went out for a bite with him." "Yes, I went to his place." "But he hasn't been here since then." "That's possible." " It's not possible, it's certain." "You should never be too sure." "You should never be too sure." " Maybe he's found a girlfriend." "But..." "Bob, can I have a drink?" "It'll be my last." "No." " Not rum, just wine." "I can?" " That's all that's left." "Ah, there's some." " It's all that's left." "And then I'll be off" "But go easy, because it's all I've got left." "I'm hurting all over again..." " There's a drop left." "Thanks." "If we don't feel pain, we can't tell... when we feel good." "When we feel good, we can say:" ""This is quite different."" "Bob, I've eaten enough." " Oh no." "Yes, yes." " Everything." "Everything." " It's best not to force it." "Everything." " Come on." "Everything." "Or you'll get no..." "You'll get no rum." " No rum, then." "I'll kill myself elsewhere." " You do that." "I hope you die of pain." "That you cry: "Mummy, Mummy."" "I'm going to make it." "The problem is my character will change." "Yes." " My character will change." "Will you be into men or women?" "My character will change, I'm sure." "When I was in the hospital..." "I wasn't the same." " Yes, you were." "I wasn't, I swear." "I'm trembling like before." "It's the craving for alcohol." "This 'filet américain' is good." "Where's it from?" "America, of course." "'Filet américain' comes from America." "I'm curious to know how it's all going to end, between the two of us." "Really curious." "Sometimes you lose it, sometimes I lose it." "How is all this going to end?" "Chapter 6:" "Life Goes On" "You can't back up any more?" " No." "We have to move forward." "If the pole had been stronger, we'd be dead." "The pair of us." "You're not hurt at all?" "Nope." "Come on." "It's weird that the dent's on your side and my back is hurt." "On both sides..." "I hope it'll get better." "Ifit had been a tree, we'd both be dead." "Sure." "OK, shall we move the car?" "My God." "The way we lifted up." "We almost flew." "Way up in the air." "Up in the air." "My God." "We were almost in a tree." "Did you see your hat?" "It was in the middle of the road." "How did it get outside?" " I don't know." "You were driving with the window open." "And with the shock, your hat flew off" " Really?" "I went to get your hat on the road." " Yes?" "I'm telling you, I picked it up on the road." "What's your plan for today?" "First I want to see my son." "On the main square?" " Yes." "Then we'll go to "Isabelle's"" "and have a coffee." "Then we'll go to pick up the computer." "Then we'll eat at "Isabelle's"." "Shit, he's not here." "He's not here." "Shit, damn, fuck..." "Ah, no..." "It's the Christmas market." " Yes." "Doesn't he live here anymore?" "Well..." "He's not home." "So, what's the programme?" " This way." "Or that way." "We'll go that way." "Come on, Bob, we're thirsty." " "Isabelle's" is shut for good." "How do you know?" " Someone told me on the way." "Ah, that guy..." "She shut the place down." "It's finished." ""Isabelle's" is gone." "It's finished." "The tree is gone, the pub is gone..." "Well, well..." "Give me a hand to get up." "A kick up the arse is all you'll get." "That's not ours." "Bob, today I'm going to cut some wood." "No." " I couldn't even lift the chainsaw." "I wouldn't even be able to get it going." "What are you going to eat tonight?" " I won't eat." "I'm going... to die." "I'll die first..." " Well, yes." "Then, I've got some leftover meatballs." "You're a bastard, you know that?" "You never say thank you, but I like you anyway." "I'm half drunk already." "One beer." "Half drunk..." " Pissed, on one beer." "Go take a rest and let me rest, too." " Right." "Thank you, Marcel." "Thank you, Marcel if you go and take a rest." "That's my best birthday gift ever." "I heard Bob say thank you." "Ever since I've known you..." "How long has it been?" "Too damn long." "Too long." "I reckon it won't last much longer." "It's the first time I've ever heard you say thank you." "Really?" " You can't say those words." "Why?" "After, I'll leave you in peace." "Tell me why you can't say thank you." " Thank-shit-you..." "You don't like it, do you?" "Tell me why." "Because you're Flemish?" "No, you're from the Ardennes." "We should have recorded that." " Go on." "I'm off" " And let me..." "Rest." " I really need it." "You're right to tell me." "You're still wearing your good hat, so I'm still in your good books." "I'm off" "What will you do about your license plate?" "I'll phone." " The police?" "No, the insurance people." "They'll know about the..." "You're right." "Yes." "They'll say: "You had a problem there."" "I have the same insurance as Christine." "You do?" "Yes, they'll know about it." "The license plate was on top." "What a fine way to start my 53rd year." "Don't throw up here." "Let it all out." "Let it all out." "It's because you drank some water." "Same thing happened to me, when I drank water." "You drank some water." "Shit." "Shit." "The end"