"SCIENTIST These are your new enhanced hover drums." "They're faster, louder, and you've a wireless navigation system that's good up to 2,000 miles within concert radius." "You're equipped with wireless stage monitors." "The throttle is in between your double kicks and high hat pedal." "It's all very rudimentary." "Any questions?" "Um, how do I " "You're on your own now!" "Okay." "Let's do this." "Whoa!" "Hover drums malfunction." "Dispatch 3522 and 7611 tech teams." "Now!" "Where is he now?" "He's over the ocean, sire." "He's totally out of control." "We've gotta land him now!" "Aaaah " "Get those planes outta here!" "Now!" "Whooaaaa!" "Pickles, we just got your toxicology report back and it shows that you have 100% alcohol in your system." "You caused billions in damage and the authorities wanna make an example of you." "Yeah." "To avoid any problems, we made the decision to send you to rehab." "# Doodily ding dong tick-tock #" "# Doodily ding dong tick-tock #" "# Doodily ding dong tick-tock #" "# Doodily ding dong tick-tock #" "# Doodily ding dong tick-tock #" "# Dethklok!" "Dethklok!" "Dethklok!" "Dethklok!" "#" "# I'll... teach you... to... rock... #" "# Dethklok, Dethklok #" "# Skwisgaar Skwigelf, taller than a tree #" "# Toki Wartooth, not a bumblebee #" "# William Murderface Murderface Murderface #" "# Pickles the Drummer doodily doo ding dong doodily doodily doo #" "# Nathan Explosion #" "Rehab?" "Pickles, we have a great deal to discuss regarding your move to rehab but your brother, Seth, has been calling a lot." "Just wanna play this message before we get into it." "Here we go." "Pickles, it's me, your brother, Seth." "Boy did you really fuck up out there, huh?" "Anyway, I'm here running Dethklok Australia and I need to fucking borrow $5 million." "Got into some trouble." "Anyway, so get back to me on that." "And, uh, you know, try not to fuck up so much." "Ya know, you never could hold your alcohol." "Anyway, you're making my job harder so uh, fucking, uh, bye." "I would rather kill myself than give that fucking asshole" "$5 million dollars." "Why does he always show up when I'm at my absolute worst?" "Hey." "Pickles, he's your brother." "Be cool, alright?" "But back to this rehab business." "To recap - it's costing us a lot and the local authorities want a scapegoat." "So we offered them you." "'Cause you were drinking a lot." "What are you talking about?" "It was a technical malfunction!" "The hoverdrums!" "My drumstick!" " It's denial, right guys?" " Denials!" " Denial!" " Textbooks case!" "Right there." "Says it in the book." "Look, Pickles, to put it bluntly, you can't handle your booze." "Can't handle your booze, Pickles!" "You ams a lightsweights." "You can't handle your booze and we can." "Flying hover drums all across Mozambique." "Who does that?" "Really?" "It's part of the show!" "Uh huh." "Yeah." "Excuses, excuses." "I hate you all." "I really do." "Try to calm down, Pickles." "That's the booze talking." "Guys, seriously, think about this for a second." "What am I supposed to do without booze?" "It's my whole life." "You could eat an apple." "you can always eat an apple... instead of drinking..." "You cans try insteads of doings drugs, jackings off whiles you chokes yourselfs with a leather belts arounds your throats close to de points of deaths." "Yeah that's a natural high." "Yeah, that's good clean fun." "I do it every morning." "Okay guys, I really, really don't wanna promote auto erotic asphyxiation, okay?" "Gah, live a little bit, grandma." "It's an embarrasing death." "You always have to color it differently in the media." "I think it's an awesome death." "Fucking bad ass death." "Yeahs, it's betters dan blowing up in de spaceshuttle." "Look, Pickles." "It's time for you to pack your bags and start living sober." "I'm sorry but that's the way it has to be." "# They did it, they did it" "They finally fuckin' did it #" "# They threw me under the bus #" "# They think they're so perfect" "And can handle their booze #" "# Well, I'll tell you something, they cannot #" "# Why would they want to get rid of me #" "# I'm fun and totally cool # # unless they've been talking behind my back and they know something that I do not # # well, I've never been so betrayed #" "# This band just want me outta the way #" "# Send me away so I can get clean #" "# I think I know what they really mean #" "# Throw me under the bus #" "# So they can fucking replace me #" "# I can't believe that it's come to this #" "# I'm filled with anger and so pissed #" "# I called them friends I called them family #" "# Now I think that they're replacing me #" "# Replace me #" "# Don't replace me #" "# Please don't replace me #" "# I gotta get clean #" "# Oh, God, I gotta get clean #" "# But it looks like the party's over #" "# Gonna have one more for the road #" "# Feel like I never really got to know ya #" "Not really." "# You gave me so much I don't think I'm ready to let go #" "# You gave me courage #" "# You gave me class #" "# You gave me confidence # # and I don't know what I'm gonna do without you #" "# Without you #" "God, I don't know what I'm gonna do without you." "# Oh, God #" "# Oh, no #" "# Oh #" "# It's the saddest day in the world #" "# This is the saddest day in the world #" "# This is the saddest day in the world #" "# This is the saddest day in the world #" "# This is the saddest day in the world #" "Now an unfortunate scheduling conflict has come up as a result of all this." "You have a show to perform but Pickles will be in rehab." "So we can't play with a drummer?" "That'll take a lot of the rhythmic element out of the songs, I mean, don't you think?" "Well I think I figured something out." "You can't play with Pickles, but you can play with a machine." "You can play with a drum machine." "Whoa." "Looks at dats!" "Whoa." "That's pretty fucking cool." "My gosh, that's badass." "Uh, good then." "In the meantime, you guys will have to watch this instructional video in order to operate him." "Hey pals!" "It's me, Facebones!" "Hey, look." "Facebones." "And let me introduce you to your newest robot pal and band member X2P1158!" "He's the coolest high tech drum machine known to humankind and can play any style, including but not limited to - latin, soul, RB, rock, adult contemporary, fusion, latin fusion, and dildo fusion, too!" "And he can out perform any drummer and is capable to performing up to 200 polyrhythms at once." "He can also perform the deadly hexi-kicks." "Check it out!" "Wooooooooooow!" "And most importantly they can handle their alcohol." "Not like soooooome drummers..." "Holy shit." "It's the perfect drummer." "If only we could find one that plays rhythm guitars, toos..." "Thats would be cools." "Another robot pals!" "Warning!" "Warning!" "Warning!" "Warning!" "The X2P1158 is equipped with a 10,000 megaton self detonation device and in rare cases can become self aware and cause dangerous harm to humans!" "If that's the case, contact the manufacturer." "Not our problem!" "But that probably won't happen anywhoooo!" "Thanks for watching and enjoy playing with the X2P1158!" "I'm FACEBONES!" "G" " G-G-G-Goodbye!" "Hey, Pickles isn't gonna care that he's being replaced, is he?" "SWISGAAR:" "Nah, he'll be fines." "He ams probably beens settlings ins real nicelys and adjustings in rehabs." "Yeah, probably living like a fucking king!" "# I hate rehab so damn much #" "# I can't get out I can't get out #" "# They drag me back and I kick and fight #" "# I'm spitting on chicks and starting fights #" "# Lack of booze is killing me #" "# I need a drink Give me a drink #" "# Rehab sucks I wanna run away #" "# But those doctors are making me stay and they say # # there're several steps you need to complete # # so you can get clean, get back on your feet #" "# I don't need this I don't need your fucking help #" "# You are all stupid idiots who can all go to hell #" "# Shock 'em now There is no escape #" "# Same goes for all of you # # until I let you out of this place #" "# Now you all have problems, that's the truth #" "# You're narcissistic parasites" "But we can save you #" "# But you gotta tell us why #" "# All the reasons you got high #" "# The reason that you use #" "# The cause for your abuse #" "# If we could find out why #" "# We could teach you on the side #" "# All the action that we'll take # # ooh, the way you'll be saved # # why did you drink?" "#" "# I drink 'cause it's cool #" "# Why did you drink #" "# I drink because it tastes good #" "# Why did you abuse #" "# I really like the flavor #" "# That answer just won't do #" "# It'll have to do It'll have to do" "It'll have to doooooo #" "# If you don't tell me what I need to hear #" "# You'll never get clean" "You'll always live in fear #" "# You'll never go home" "You'll be replaced in your band #" "# Do you know what I mean?" "#" "# Yes, I understand #" "# When I was a boy I was traumatized #" "# I was 6 years old and my brother lied #" "# He burned down the garage and he blamed it on me #" "# And that was the first time I ever had a drink #" "# I drank, I drank I drank it all away #" "# It's my brother's fault It's my brother's fault #" "# That's the reason that I drink #" "# You must forgive your brother #" "No way." "That's badass!" "That was the fucking best rehearsal we've ever had." "This drum machine can fucking play!" "He's so good he makes us plays better." "You know dat?" "Check it out." "He even dispenses beer." "Man we're gonna fucking kick ass in fucking Australia." "They won't know what hit 'em!" "Guys, uh, I know you're rehearsing and having fun and palling around but I have somebody that I want to reintroduce you to." "The freshly sober and rehabilitated Pickles." "Hello friends." "I'm back and ready to rejoin and play and - what the hell is that thing?" "Oh no big deal, it's just the drum machine." "Oh yeah by the way, you've been replaced." "PICKLES:" "Listen to me you little fucking piece of tin shit." "I haven't had a drink in a really long time and I will fucking rip you limb from limb and that is a fucking threat." "That is right, that is a threat." "Hey guys, how's it going?" "Look at me, hey, I'm sober!" "Feels really good..." "Pickles just ain't cool now that he's sober, you know." "I mean he's just not cool!" "Just fucking feels weird drinking around him." "Yuh, I ams feelings like he ams judging us." "Look at him nows." "Ohhh." "Yeah, look at him fucking looking at us, nosing us." "Fuck." "Fucking Drum machine doesn't judge us when we drink." "Drums Machines is neutrals like fuckings Germanies." "He just fucking kicks ass." "And he drinks with us!" "My God, he is a badass!" "He is my cool robot friend." "Uh, hey guys, I'm sorry to interrupt..." "Shouldn't we, you know, practice?" "I mean, we got that gig coming up in Australia." "I mean, shouldn't we just..." "Uhhhh... you should just have a conversation with Charles." "Uhhh yeahs." "Maybes yous betters just talks to Charles." "Oh." "Oh OK." "No problem." "Is that beer pretty good?" "Is it tasting' alright?" "See what I mean?" "Judging us." "Pickles, I'm sorry but you haven't completed the last of your twelve steps." "Forgiveness." "What do you mean?" "I am sober!" "Pickles, you still haven't forgiven your brother, Seth." "But I've done everything else!" "Just let me..." "why do I have to do that?" "I hate hiiim!" "If you really want back in, go to Australia, forgive your brother and then you can play the gig we have scheduled there." "That is so stupid." "That is so stupid!" "Whose stupid idea was this?" "It was the, uh, band's idea." "Those fucking dildos!" "Those fucking, fucking - are you drinking Scotch right now?" "Brandy." "Probably doesn't help, does it?" "I'm sorry." "# I think that they're onto me #" "# No, I'm not drinking but I'm still not really clean #" "# Until I finish my last step # # of forgiving my brother #" "# I'm still dead to them #" "# I see the way they look at me #" "# They think I'm not good as that drum machine #" "# As long as that dumb machine is here #" "# I won't be in # # to me that's clear #" "# So now I am forced to go and forgive my stupid brother # # in Australia #" "# And if he accepts, # # then I can rejoin my band # # and play that gig we have scheduled there #" "# And the robot will be out #" "# But something tells me he won't go lightly # # there might be danger #" "# Eliminate threat Eliminate danger #" "# Eliminate threat, Eliminate danger #" "# Eliminate threat Eliminate danger #" "# Eliminate threat, Eliminate danger #" "# Eliminate threat Eliminate danger... #" "Wow." "Look at this fucking crowd." "Oh nos, the fames has gottens to him!" "Vomit." "Look, Seth," "I need you to accept my forgiveness of you because I guess I blame you for me doing drugs and all that crap." "Just will you accept my forgiveness, please?" "You want me to accept your forgiveness?" "Well, I fucking need $5 million." "You expect me to pay you" "$5 fucking million just so I can fucking get back in my band?" "!" "I'm going to pay you aren't I?" "Guys, that was Pickles." "He finished his last step." "Looks like he's back in the band." "We gonna haves to kicks out drums machine, huh?" "Between you and me," "Drum Machine has turned into an asshole anyway." "He's fucking our groupies." "We can't compete with a machine." "I mean, I don't care who you are." "No one can fuck like a machine." "Yeah." "He's been kinda acting weird lately." "I hope he takes the news well." "Yah, we'll just tells him using very gentles language that he ams no longers aparts of our bands." "I'm sure he'll totallys understands." "Yeah." "He'll be fine." "I'm totally convinced of it, too." " Yah, me too." " Totally convinced of it." "Guys, I'm back!" "Guys?" "What happened here?" "You." "You!" "Where's Dethklok?" "Where are they?" "If I can't be in the band, no one will." "I'm going to kill them." " Helps us!" " Help!" "Inititate self detonation device countdown sequence starting nooow." "Oh my God, oh my God!" "Oh my God, he's gonna fucking kill them, he's gonna fucking - I'm locked in here!" "I'm locked in here." "I gotta save them." "Oh... ooohhhh..." "Oooooh!" "The backstage rider." "Fucking drink that shit!" "Drink it!" "It's been too long!" "You've gotta save the band!" "Don't drink." "You've been doing so good!" " Get drunk!" "Get drunk!" " Don't do it!" "Don't do it!" "Fuck it!" "I'm gonna do both." "I'm gonna get drunk and save the band!" "I am back, motherfuckeeeeeer!" "Pickles, you're back." "The band is missing and the drum machine is planning on blowing them up." "Not if I can help it!" "You've been drinking, haven't you?" "Fuck yeah I have." "Tonight, I'm going to burn down the garage." "Pickles, no!" "Help us!" "It's so gay to ask for help, but I really don't wanna die." " HELP!" " Helps us!" "You saved our lives." "Oh and you playsed the show totally hammered." "And didn't miss a notes." "Guys..." "it's good to be back." "And I'll tell you something " "I couldn't have done any of this without booze." "Check it out." "Fuckin' hunk." "That was my dinner." "I had chicken." "I had chicken burritos." "Burrito..." "It's real good to have you back Pickles..." "And FYI... you puked on my cock."