"(UPSIDE DOWN BY JACK JOHNSON PLAYING)" "(SINGING) Who's to say What's impossible" "Well, they forgot This world keeps spinning" "And with each new day" "I can feel a change in everything" "And as the surface breaks, reflections fade" "But in some ways, they remain the same" "And as my mind begins to spread its wings" "There's no stopping curiosity" "I want to turn the whole thing upside down" "I'll find the things they say just can't be found" "I'll share this love I find with everyone" "We'll sing and dance to Mother Nature's songs" "I don't want this feeling to go away" "(GROWLING)" "Who's to say I can't do everything" "Well, I can try" "And as I roll along I begin to find" "Things aren't always just what they seem" "I want to turn the whole thing upside down" "I'll find the things they say just can't be found" "I'll share this love I find with everyone" "We'll sing and dance to Mother Nature's songs" "This world keeps spinning" "And there's no time to waste" "Well, it all keeps spinning, spinning round and round" "And upside down" "Who's to say what's impossible and can't be found" "I don't want this feeling to go away" "Please don't go away" "Please don't go away" "Please don't go away" "Is this how it's supposed to be" "Is this how it's supposed to be" "TED:" "Now, as I was saying, life was a constant struggle for survival." "Australopithecus had no time to enjoy himself, because around every corner was danger." " BOY 1:" "Way to go." " BOY 2:" "Oh, good one." "It wasn't until an amazing discovery that man was able to take time and enjoy life." "And why was that?" "What made Ogg and Grogg's life so much better?" " A video game?" " No." " The Internet?" " No." " A rocket sled?" " A mountain of chocolate." " Star stickers?" " No." " Look." "No, no, that wasn't a real question." " Peanut butter?" "That's right." "Fire." "(TED EXCLAIMING)" "Look at that." "Impressive, huh?" "Miss Dunlop, why do we have to come to this boring museum every single week?" "It's not boring." "It's very interesting." "This led to hot dinners." " Eventually became the microwave." " BOY:" "Three, two, one." "Oh!" "Oh, no." "Hot." "Fire's hot." "Yes." "Where was I?" " Hey, is that a real spear?" " BOY:" "Can we play with it?" "Kids, a museum is a place where we observe." "We don't play." " This stinks." " What else can we do?" " Yeah, this is boring." " MAGGIE:" "Children, be polite." " Lunchtime!" " Yeah, lunch." "TED:" "Lunchtime?" "It's only 9:00 a.m." "Buddy system." "Stay with your buddies." "Oh, well, each kid has a buddy so they can all keep track of each other." "Everyone needs a partner, right?" "Oh, yeah." "I'm not following." "Well..." " Lungfish!" " Excuse me?" "Next Thursday, I'm going to talk to your class about the lungfish, the closest living relative of the tetrapods." " It's pretty great." " I look forward to hearing it." "You know, I look forward to all your Thursday lectures." "I wish today was Thursday." " I mean, I know that it's Thursday." " Don't worry." " I just meant, when it's not, I wish it was." " It's not a big deal." "Here." "I should go catch up to my lungfish." "I mean, class." "(WHISPERING) Way to go, Maggie." "Way to go." "I'll see you next week, Miss Dunlop." "Oh, how embarrassing." " Ted?" " Mr. Bloomsberry." "Walk with me, Ted." "I'm afraid that Ogg and Grogg, all of our friends here, they're just not bringing in the crowds like they used to." "What do you mean?" "It breaks my heart, but I have to sell the museum." "We're broke." "Broke?" "Mr. Bloomsberry, the museum can't close!" "I have no choice, Ted." "Museum attendance is down." "No one's buying anything from the gift shop." "Even the glow-in-the-dark star stickers?" "Even the glow-in-the-dark star stickers." "Man, I love those." "I especially love the Milky Way..." "Wait!" "What will happen to the museum?" " Well, I'm glad you asked." " Junior?" "It'll be torn down and a parking lot put in its place, with high hourly rates and no daily maximums." "Ka-ching!" "The world doesn't need another parking lot." "The world needs a place where kids' brains can grow." "Exactly." "That's why I'm thinking they can grow trying to count all the spaces in the new parking lot." "Come on." "How fun is that?" " He's not serious, is he?" " Well..." "It's time, Father." "We're not going to get a better offer." "I know." "I know." "Wait." "What if we did something?" "What if we got an amazing new exhibit?" "You know, Ted, you need to worry about finding an amazing new job." " Well, hold on, Junior." " But I was just trying..." "Oh, great." "Ted, if you have an idea, now is the time to speak up." "What exhibit?" "Yes, what exhibit?" " TED:" "It's the..." " Yes?" " The famous and..." " Yes." " And rare, of course..." " Yes." "Yes." " The incredible..." " Come on." " Spit it out." " Don't be shy, Ted." "Come on." "What about the Lost Shrine of Zagawa?" "Oh, my goodness." "I'm sorry. "The lost..." You lost me at, "the lost."" "It's an ancient idol." "Twenty tons of granite carved by 1,000 craftsmen over a 100 years." "I had all the charts ready." "I was all set to go to Africa when something happened." "Slips my mind." "Hello, how about the birth of your only son?" "That would be me." "Yes, then I began another adventure, raising Junior." "Well, now that that's done, you can finally finish what you've started," " which is bringing home..." " Yeah!" "The Lost Shrine of Zagawa." "You'll put this museum on the map." " I'll need a team of 10 men." " Oh, at least 10." "It's a four-day hike into the jungle." "You go, girl." "I mean, sir." "We'll be cutting through heavy brush for 12 hours a day." "Look out." "Here comes the Bloomsberry Express!" " Yes!" "Yes!" " Next stop archeological fame and fortune!" "I'm going to discover the Lost Shrine of Zagawa!" " A little help here." " Hey, watch it!" "I forgot something." "I am really, really old." "Can I have the Bloomsberry Express pull into the reality station and sign here, initial here." "Nope, not there." "Wait!" "I guess I could go." "Did I just say that?" "I can't do that." "I don't even ride the bus." "Maybe they didn't hear me." "I'm sorry, sir." "You were saying?" "Excellent idea, Ted." "He did hear me." "Him?" "You've got to be kidding me." "Ted is not an explorer." " He raises a good point." " Nonsense." "With my maps and my journals, a six-year-old could find the shrine." "Thank you, I think." "Come on." "Let's get you ready for your big adventure." "Now, Ted, the journal won't take you right to the idol." " It won't?" " No, you have to use your instincts." " About that, sir, I don't have any." " Don't be silly." "It'll be fun." "Sorry, Ted." "But that's as close as you're ever going to get to the precious Lost Shrine of Zaga-wah-wah-wah..." "Why does my father like you best?" "It's not fair." "I've got the ponytail." "Okay, Ted, the trick is to look like you know what you're doing." "Now, where's the door?" "Yellow?" "Six dozen yellow suits?" "Tony, what, are you goofy?" "We can't sell these things." "Hey, me goofy?" "Forget about it." "The big guy says move them, we move them." "Oh, yeah, sure, but what kind of meatball would buy these?" "(BELL TINKLING)" "Excuse me?" "I'm here to be professionally outfitted for a jungle expedition." "(WHISPERING) Showtime." "(IN AN AUSTRALIAN ACCENT) Good day, mate." "You've stepped into the right place." "Isn't that right, Nigel?" "I'll say it is, Steve-O." "Finally, a real adventurer to suit up." " So do you like the color yellow?" " Yellow?" "Yeah, what, are you goofy?" "Yellow's the new khaki." " Mate." " Really?" "Well, okay." " You've got to be kidding." " Look at that get-up." "Hello, who are you, the six-foot banana?" ""The new khaki."" "Thank you!" "Thank you very much!" "I look like an idiot." " TED:" "Edu." " Yes, sir?" "Don't worry the other men, but we're hopelessly lost." "Sir, your book is upside down." " Oh." "Oh, good catch." "Carry on." " Thank you, sir." " MAN 1:" "Wow." "What is it?" " MAN 2:" "That's interesting." " Look at this." " Beautiful." "Look at the color." "Edu, do you see this?" " Yes, it's..." " Exciting!" "We are so close." " Edu." " Mr. Ted." "It says here "Zagawa" means enlightenment." " I know, sir." "I live here." " Oh, right." "Did you know the statue we're looking for is a giant monkey?" " Yes, sir." "I live here." " Right again." " Oh, a rhino." " Sir?" " Stand aside, men." " Mr. Ted." "This is a tranquilizer gun." "I'm just going to put him to sleep." "That's not a rhino." "That's a... (EDU EXCLAIMING)" "Nice shot, Mr. Ted." "(SNORING)" "Oops!" "Okay, let's break for lunch for the next four to six hours, or longer, depending on how much he weighs." "I should probably make a sandwich for Edu." "He'll have quite an appetite and a headache when he wakes up." "This is really good." "(CHATTERING)" "Hey!" "Oh, a monkey." "Hey, there, little guy." "Can I have my hat, please?" "I kind of need my hat." "Sun's hot, and I freckle." "Not the good kind either." "I blotch." "So please, my hat." "That's the one, all right." "(CHATTERING HAPPILY)" "Hello." "Anybody in there?" "Peekaboo." "Peekaboo." "Peekaboo." "Aboo." "Aboo." "Well, look at that." "A monkey who likes to play peek-a-boo." "Hey, this was fun, my little friend, but, sorry, I've got to go." "I wonder if Edu's up yet." "Hey!" "Come back here." "You can run, but you can't hide." "I'll catch up." "I am unstoppable." "That's right." "I can run all night." "All day and all night." "There's nothing that can stop..." "Cramp!" "Cramp." "Cramp can stop me." "Why the cramp?" "Extra-bad cramp, too." "What?" "What..." "(CHATTERING HAPPILY)" "Okay, I have an idea." "We'll trade." "Sandwich for the hat." "On three." "One, two, three!" "(GRUNTING)" "Okay." "We're not really making any progress here." "Okay." "Oh, yeah." "(GIGGLING)" "191, 192, 193, 194." "Not now, monkey." "196, 197, one-ninety-monkey." "199, 200." "Okay, "Look for two mufuti bushes, and you will find X."" " There, sir." "Mufutis." " Good eye, Edu." "Here, hold this." "There it is." "It's awesome." "It's spectacular." "It's..." "Gone?" "What?" "This can't be it." "EDU:" "Did you find it, sir?" "It's supposed to be huge." "But that isn't huge, okay?" "That's the opposite of huge." "I need the giant monkey." "Who knew it was actual size?" "Wait." "This looks like ancient Swatabi." ""Turn your eye to the light." ""Go from blindness to sight."" "That's a clue." ""Turn your eye to the light."" "All right, I'm looking directly into the sun." "It's very bright." "It's starting to sting." "Not going to lie to you." "Okay, now..." "Now, it's burning, and it's continuing..." "Oh, I singed my cornea." "Oh, I'm blind." "(EXCLAIMING)" "Okay, water, H2O, just a little liquid refreshment, please." "Oh, there it is." "Oh, sweet relief." "Thank you, Edu." "Edu, Edu, Edu." "All right, men, let's pick it up." "I'll be over here until my vision returns." "I traveled 10,000 miles for a paper weight?" "What am I going to tell Mr. Bloomsberry?" "(CELL PHONE RINGING)" "Bloomsberry?" "Wow." "Strong signal." " Hello?" " Ted, it's me." "Have you found it yet?" "Yeah, I'm looking at it right now." "Oh, that's great." "Is it gigantic?" "Well, there is a size issue, sir." "I'll send you a photo so you can see for yourself." "I can't wait." "Do you see it, sir?" "I do." "Oh, sir." "Are you crying?" "It's supposed to be 40 feet tall." "I'll explain it all when I get back." "No need to." "I can see it right here." "(DIAL TONE BUZZING)" "I can't believe it." "Do you see that, Junior?" "It's even bigger than I ever imagined!" "Well, that's impossible." "I..." "I can't believe he... (SARCASTICALLY) Hurray." "We're saved." "EDU:" "Mr. Ted, time to go." "You know what?" "Keep the hat." "Hey, don't look so sad." "It's the new khaki." "It's true." "Bye." "(CAR ENGINE STARTING)" "(MEN CHATTERING)" "TED:" "Edu, I can't find the seat belt." "Will that be a problem?" "Not for me." " Edu, it's okay to use the brake." " Oh, relax." "(SINGING) I want to be where the talk of the town" "Is about last night when the sun went down" "Yeah, and the trees all dance" "And the warm wind blows in the same old sound" "And the trouble I find is that the trouble finds me" "I'm beginning to find it begins with a dream" "And a feeling I get when I look and I see" "That this world is a puzzle Find all of the pieces" "And put it all together Then I'll rearrange it" "I'll follow it forever And maybe" "Maybe now the water below gives a gift to the sky" "And the clouds give back every time they cry" "Make the grass grow green beneath my toes" "And if the sun comes out" "Gonna paint a picture all about" "The colors I've been dreaming of" "TED:" "Mr. Bloomsberry..." "I would just like to say in my defense that..." "Sir, when we set out on certain adventures in life," "sometimes..." "Sometimes, they don't quite go as planned." "I'm extra sorry." "Oh, boy." "Maybe I could just work on this ship, be a deckhand or a chef." "I'm so glad I upgraded." "Oh, the knee!" "There's the forehead!" "Knee-forehead combo." "(GROANING)" "(CHATTERING HAPPILY)" "No, no, no, not the honey-roasted goodness." "(THUDDING)" "And there's the head again." "(SHIP HORN BLOWING)" "Hey, it's a monkey with a hat!" "I'll just go ahead and put that under "Miscellaneous."" "(PEOPLE WATCHING BY JACK JOHNSON PLAYING)" "(SINGING) Well, I'm just people watching" "The other people watching me" " CABBY 1:" "Where you going, Yellow?" " Bloomsberry Museum, please." "You know, I'll give you $10 extra if you'll stop calling me Yellow." "You got it, Sunshine." "There really ain't no use in stopping" "What nobody never told me not to do" "So I'll keep people watching" "Watching me now Finding my way back to you" "CABBY:" "For crying out loud, lady, there's no screaming in cabs." "We're all as lonely as we wanted to be" "MAN:" "Hey, yo, over here." "Just as lonely as we wanted to be" "(GASPING)" "Wait!" "What does that say?" ""The Lost Shrine of Zagawa"? "Gigantic"?" "Oh, that's not right at all." ""The shrine is 40 feet tall"?" "I know." "That bad boy's a monster." "I can't wait to see it." "I'm taking the whole family." "Yeah, well, I hope you get seats up front." "CABBY 1:" "Yo!" "Over here!" "(MAN GASPING)" "(DOGS YELPING)" "CABBY 2:" "Puppies!" "No, watch the claws." "Watch the claws." "Yeah, sure, I've seen everything in this town." "Oh, yeah, monkey?" "Seen it." "(TRUCK HORN BLARING)" "I'm as lonely as I wanted to be" "We're as lonely as we wanted to be" "(HORNS BLARING)" "We're as lonely as we wanted to be" "CABBY:" "Construction." "Of all the luck..." "You know what?" "Sir, I'll just get out right here." "Right, this will work." "I'm just going to go home, call Mr. Bloomsberry," " and explain everything, right?" " Sure." "Whatever. $12.50, pal." "(HORN BLARING)" "Sorry." "Okay, I'm moving." " MAN:" "Watch out!" " Hey, what, you couldn't see me?" "Right." "(WOMAN SCREAMING)" "Hey, there, Ivan." "(GRUNTING)" "Good talk." "Take care." "(SIGHING)" "Home." "Okay, I just need two seconds of quiet." "(PHONE RINGING)" "All right, I didn't mean literally." " Hello?" " Ted!" "Hi, Mr. Bloomsberry." "I just walked in the door." "Well, get down here." "All the news reporters are here." "I've arranged a press conference just for you." "You're the hero of the moment." " Oh, have you seen the surprise?" " Surprise, sir?" "Look out your front window." " My window?" " Yes, yes, take a looksy." " Okay." " You're really going to like it." "Well, what do you think?" "(CHUCKLING) Speechless." "I knew you'd love it." "Ted, you deserved it." "I don't know what I would have done." "You single-handedly saved the museum." "Mr. Bloomsberry, I have to tell you something." "Yes, I'm all ears." " It's about..." " Yes, what?" " My hat?" " Sure, wear your hat." "Wear your best suit." "Just get down here." "There can't be two hats like that." "(SNIFFING)" "Pet?" "Pet." "My hat?" "My yellow hat?" "No, no, no, this can't be the same hat." "It's the same hat." "And the same monkey." "Wait!" "You followed me all the way from Africa" "(CHATTERING) to play peekaboo." "(ELEVATOR DINGING)" "No." "No again." "No." "No." "No." "No." "No." "No." "No." "No." "No." "No." "No." "No." "Hold the phone." "No, no, no, I don't want to play peekaboo." "(KNOCKING ON DOOR)" "Open up, 17-B." "I know you're in there." "Open up!" "Ivan don't like to wait!" " What?" "Oh, no." "Monkey." "Monkey." " Come on, open the door!" "Where are you?" "Oh, hi." "Ivan!" "I'm smelling pet." "Pet?" "No." "No, no pet here." "Can't have a pet." "Wait." "Isn't there a no-pet policy?" " Yes." " Hey, you can't just barge in here." "Apparently you can." "Pet is close." "(EXCLAIMING)" " What?" " Nothing." "Just practicing for when I find pet." "(WHISPERING) Monkey." "Monkey, no." "Down." "Down." "Down." "No, no, no!" "Why you yell when I'm right next to you?" "No reason." "(BOTTLES TINKLING)" "(EXCLAIMING)" "What?" "Milk is sour." "Don't drink." "Bingo!" "Now, move, please." "New game." "New game." "Hide-and-seek." "Okay, stay right there." "Good monkey." "(CRASHING)" "Did you hear something?" "No." "(RATTLING)" " How about that?" " Nope." "(TOILET FLUSHING)" "If you're asking, I didn't hear that either." "Move self." "Oh, that." "I unroll it ahead of time." "Helps when you're in a rush." "Where the pet?" "Where the..." "Can't find pet nowhere." "Very strange." "Nose does not lie." "Well, that was fun." "Next time we'll have to do it at your place, okay, Ivan?" "(MISS PLUSHBOTTOM SINGING)" "Miss Plushbottom." "Oh, no." "That's trouble." "Monkey!" "Oh, Mr. Monkey." "If I find pet, you are ewicted." " E-what-ed?" " Evicted!" "Good to know." "Oh, no." "Oh, that's a big drop, Ted." "Don't look down." "Rickety's okay." "Just as long as there's no wind." "Oh, sweet mother of science!" "Cramp." "Cramp again." "Cramp." "Cramp." "Darn that cramp." "MISS PLUSHBOTTOM:" "No, no, no, no." "No, these are not the colors I wanted." "I told you to match them to the City Opera." "(SINGING A NOTE)" "MAN:" "They are the same colors, Miss Plushbottom." "They may look like it, but do they sing to me?" "(SINGING) You are fired" " Hey, she fired us in song." " It still hurts." "And now, I must have a soak." "(OPERATIC MUSIC PLAYING)" "Okay, fellows, last stop." "Everybody off." "No, paint?" "You've got to be kidding me." "Who leaves eight open cans of paint lying around?" "(SCREAMING)" "Of course he went in there." "Oh, boy." "(WHISPERING) Monkey." "Monkey." "Over here." "Come, monkey." "Come on." "Monkey, peekaboo." "Peekaboo." "Monkey!" "(CHATTERING LOUDLY)" "No, no, no, no, quiet." "What's that?" "Do yourself a favor." "You're going to want to put the cucumbers back on." "Ivan!" "I knew it!" "You are red-handed with pet!" "And while we're on the subject," "I think you have a serious pest problem in this building, Ivan." "I mean, don't you spray for jungle animals every spring?" "I specifically remember such language in my lease." "(WHISPERING) Let go." "Not helping." "Look at my walls!" " And you!" " Moi?" "You hired a monkey to paint your apartment." "How do you sleep at night?" "He is your monkey!" "Now what do you say?" "Come on." "That could be any guy in a yellow suit, silk-starched collar, black spotted tie." "Ivan!" "(SHOUTING)" "Well, that was fun." "Bye-bye." "Sorry." "My fault." "Lovely apartment." "Could we borrow your window?" "Got to go." "You are no more 17-B!" "You are kicked from building." "Just to be clear, though, the monkey's kicked?" "Not me?" "Get out!" "Foot caught." "What am I going to do with you?" "Come on." "We're almost at the museum." "Act natural." "Try to blend in." "(PEOPLE WATCHING BY JACK JOHNSON PLAYING)" "(SINGING) We're all people watching" " Come on." " The other people watching we" "Nobody told me what to do" "I can't stop breaking all the rules" "And I'm just people watching" "Oh, that tickles." "He's grooming me." "Everyone's doing it." " They're getting small monkeys and..." " Hi." " Never mind." " So cute." "(TED GROANING)" "I forgot all about them." "Quick, monkey, this way." "Okay." "Oh, no." "What have they done?" "These are cheesy, ridiculous." "Okay, that's kind of fun." " REPORTER:" "How much longer is this going to take?" " Let's all be patient, please." "Ted will be more than happy to answer all your questions regarding the giant idol." " Yes, but where is he?" " Oh, boy." " I just spoke to Ted." "He's on his way." " Run, monkey." "Run." "Quick, in here." "What am I going to do?" "This is beyond bad." "Hey, monkey." "Quiet." "Monkey." "I said, quiet!" "Well, we gave it a shot, didn't we?" "I mean, huge monkey statues, they come and go, but parking lots are forever." "TED:" "Excuse me." "Would you please..." "Oh, look who's back." "Would you stop that?" "I have to concentrate." "And he's wearing a yellow suit." "What, is he officially the golden child now?" "Monkey, put that down." "No." "Oh, I've got problems." "Oh, do I have problems." "Glorious day, Ted has problems." "What am I going to do?" "What can I do?" "There's no way around it." "I have to tell Mr. Bloomsberry the truth." " The horrible..." " Horrible?" " ...awful..." " Awful?" " ...devastatingly crushing truth." " Devastatingly crushing?" "His enormous idol looks like it came out of a cereal box." "Wow, that must be a huge box of cereal, or..." "It's only three inches tall." "Yes!" "This is great." "What a great day for parking lots." "Oh, my body." "Hey, a dollar." "Yeah, it spins." "Fun, huh?" " (KNOCKING AT DOOR)" " CLOVIS:" "Ted?" "Hello?" "Oh, there you are?" "What's with that?" "Clovis, I can explain." "I should hope so because that is a lot of yellow for one man." "You see, it's..." "I thought you were color blind." "I can see that." "Oh, before I forget, here's a bill for my services." "$2,000?" "What's this for?" "The exhibition stage for the Lost Shrine of Zagawa." " Mr. Bloomsberry?" " Watch this." "MAN:" "Behold the Eighth Wonder of the World!" "(MR. BLOOMSBERRY LAUGHING)" "Clovis whipped it up." "Doesn't it take your breath away?" "More than you know." "Okay, let's get down to business." "Where's the shrine?" "What's that?" "MAN:" "Behold the Eighth Wonder of the World!" "But, Ted, that can't be the idol." "I don't understand." "We saw the picture." "The statue is huge." "I'm sorry, sir, but it is." "I've been trying to tell you, this is this." "Oh, Ted, what are we going to do?" "Okay, here he is, everybody." "Right this way." "The man of the hour." "Our hero." "No pushing." "We'll all get a chance." "Hey, Ted, they can't wait for you to tell them about the massively gigantic, huge, enormous idol." "Don't be shy." "Right up there." "Come on." "Now's not the time for butterflies, Ted." "Speak right into the mike." "You're good?" "You checked that that's working, right?" " Louder." " Any questions?" "Over here." "Can you tell how old it is?" "JUNIOR:" "Sounded like "old," but what she said was "big."" "How big is it?" "TED:" "You know, I'm not sure about that." "Could you tell us, was it difficult finding a boat big enough to bring the idol back?" "No." "No, didn't have a problem on the boat thing." "It..." "Yeah, it fit nicely." "MAN:" "Excuse me." "What was your first reaction when you saw the idol?" "I was emotional." "Teared up pretty much instantly." "Guy, guys, guys, let's focus here." "We're here about the idol." "So, Ted, where is the idol now?" "Yes, yes, yes, where is the idol?" "It's..." "It's close." "It's..." "It's very close." "JUNIOR:" "What else we got?" "Come on, guys." "Fire away." "Keep them coming." "Excuse me." "Rumor has it the idol has magical powers." "Is that true?" " Well, that all depends." " Yeah, good one." "Now, ask him where it is." " Was it difficult to find?" " WOMAN:" "Is it made of solid gold?" " And how big is the idol?" " Are you going to write a book?" "What about a movie deal?" " Oh, no, that's not a good idea." " It's not?" "Why?" "Not the Apatosaurus formerly known as the brontosaurus." " I'm sorry." " No, don't!" "This is very common when you come back from the jungle." "Bad idea!" "Monkey!" " Monkey, no!" " JUNIOR:" "Can we please get back to questions regarding when we will actually see the idol?" " No, no, no!" "Monkey!" "No, no, no!" " You can't leave." "Ted!" " Please, no!" " Ted, before you leave, please..." "No!" "Ted, where is the idol?" "Okay, careful." "Careful, that's the linch pin to the whole left leg." "Oh, no!" "Wow, I didn't see that coming." "Oh, Ted, we're doomed." "What's a monkey doing here?" " I guess we should just take a picture." " Quick, get a picture." "Well, seriously, Ted, can't say you didn't try." "I mean, you did bring back a monkey, just not one anyone cared about." " Okay, bye-bye." " Hold on!" "You're locking me out?" "Cabs are right behind you." "Perfect." "Oh, no." "No, no, no." "No." "No, you don't." "No." "This is not going to work." "Here it is, "Animal Control."" "This better work." "WOMAN:" "Hello, Animal Control." "How can I help you?" "Yes, could you send someone over to the Bloomsberry Museum right away?" "We have a very dangerous monkey." "Describe dangerous, sir." "Oh, he's frothing at the mouth." "He's got teeth like Ginsu knives and crazy eyes." "He's a killer." "Listen to this." "(IMITATING A MONKEY)" "Put that child down!" "Oh, the horror!" "I can't watch!" "Sir, we just closed, but I can leave a message." "What am I supposed to do with this monkey?" "I'm sure I don't know." "Thank you for calling the Animal Control hotline." "(DIAL TONE BUZZING)" "Hello?" "You, down." "Okay, listen." "I'm only watching you until tomorrow, when Animal..." "Don't do that." "Okay, maybe you're right." "It's late." "It's been a long day." "I'm all out of ideas." "What do you got?" "Oh, this is great." "This is a great idea." "I'm so comfortable here." "What are we lying on here?" "Is this goose down?" "It's so comfy." "No, this is a concrete park bench." "That's what it is." "Did I mention that it's a cold concrete bench?" "Very cold." "(THUNDER CLAPPING)" "Hey, shake all you want, monkey." "There's no bananas in there." "But if you find a 40 foot idol, let me know." "Eighth wonder of the world." "Right." "What a nightmare." "Oh, no." "No, no, no, don't look so satisfied with yourself." "The whole reason we're sleeping out here is because of you." "Yeah, I could be in my nice, warm bed right now, showered, teeth brushed instead of sleeping out in the cold with a monkey" "under the stars." "Wow." "Those glow-in-the-dark star stickers have nothing on this." "That?" "That's a firefly." "Good grab." "Nice." "Yep, they're still in there." "Bright, huh?" "They're bioluminescent." "Did you know that fireflies glow to remind us that they taste bitter." "It's a defense mechanism." "(FIREFLIES BUZZING)" "Yeah." "See?" "I told you." "Oh, no." "No, no, no." "No, thanks." "I'm good." "Yep, you know, there's no way I'm going to eat that bug." "So quit trying..." "Oh, wow." "Yeah, that tastes bad, definitely bitter." "Okay." "Oh, listen to this." "I've got a good one for you." "What's the difference between Neanderthal man and Cro-Magnon man?" "Linguistic competence and polychromatic cave paintings." "Get it?" "Hello?" "You're missing the punch line." "You see, it's the difference between the two..." "It's always a winner." "(SNORING)" "I need some fresh museum-related material." "People depend on me for those jokes." "(TED YAWNING)" "(CHILDREN CHATTERING)" "No, no, those are dinosaur bones." "You can't park there." "There's no parking here." "That's my office!" "Oh, just a bad dream." "Oh, boy." "Monkey?" "Monkey?" "Where are you?" "BOY 1:" "A monkey flew!" "Oh, no." " Run!" "Run!" " BOY 2:" "A monkey!" "A monkey!" "Wait." "It's a zoo." "A zoo is full of monkeys." "Who's to say it's mine?" " BOY 3:" "The monkey is chasing me!" " That's mine." "(CHILDREN SCREAMING)" "BOY 4:" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Look at that!" "Oh, that's cold." "Oh, it's so much colder than you think." "I suggest never doing that." "Ever." "Don't ever swim with penguins." "Swim with dolphins." "Freezing!" "It's going to be okay." "Okay, your turn." "There you are." "Oh, Ted." "Hi." "Miss Maggie." "Hi." "What happened to you?" "Oh, it didn't rain here?" "Nope, not here." "Wow, now, that's crazy." "Freak cloudburst down the street." "BOY:" "Yeah, right." " Hey, where you going?" " The monkey knows that guy?" " Please tell me you paid for those." " He thinks he's a banana." "So how long have you had a monkey?" " I don't." "I mean, I do." " Oh, he's so cute." "I really don't." "I..." "Long story." "Mr. Ted, what's your monkey's name?" " Yeah, what's his name?" " He doesn't have a name." " He has to have a name." " No, he doesn't." " Let's give him a name." " All right!" "Good idea." " Please don't..." " Elvis." " How about Jojo?" " Fred." " Hercules." " Bananas." " Mumble." " No." " Skippy." " What about Juan Carlos?" "Okay, you know what?" "His name's Washington." "Man, that's a dumb name." "Then call him George." "How's that?" "Happy now?" "Oh, I like George." " It's so cute." " Oh, he's so cute." " Here, George." "Take my balloon." " Let's go play." "Here, George." "Have a red one." " Here." "Here's a balloon." " Oh, you like blue, too?" "What's the use?" "Ted, are you okay?" "It's a long story, but it looks like the museum is going to close." "Really?" "I know how much you love the museum." "I do love the museum, Ted." "But that's not really why I go there every week." "Yeah, I know." "Everyone likes the cafeteria food." "Gosh, it's good." "I've never had the cafeteria food." " Really?" " Really." "So you've never had the tuna hash on Thursday?" "Never." "It's really quite something." "I'll remember that." "There's also a meatless meatloaf on Monday, which is quite special." "Quite special." "Excuse me, mister." "You have to help George." " George who?" " George needs you." "Take a message." "I'm busy." "He has an emergency!" "The restrooms are behind the penguin habitat." " Mister, your monkey's floating away." " Look." "Seriously, there he is." " He's what?" "He's what?" " There, look at him." "I'm not kidding." "Hey, monkey!" "Don't be afraid." "Just keep your head together, and don't look down!" "You've got to save George." " Who, me?" " Yes, you!" " Hurry!" " Okay." " Your monkey's going to fall quick!" "Hurry!" " Hurry, Ted." "Hurry." "He's floating away." "I'm commandeering these balloons." "Hey!" "Hey, where are you going?" "I need that." "Thank you, young fellow." " Can I borrow these?" " You're going to need a lot of balloons." "Here I go!" "Boy, glad that's over." "(LIONS GROWLING)" "Pay you back." "Thank you." "You don't mind, do you?" "Official zoo business." "Oh, my!" "Okay." "Wait for me, monkey!" "Excuse me." "I'm sorry." "I'm trying to fly." "More altitude." "Sorry, I need this kite." "How do you steer these things?" "Hang on, little fellow." "I'm coming." " MAN 1:" "Hey, look at that!" " MAN 2:" "It's some super-hero." "MAN:" "There's a high fly ball deep in left-center field." "We're going to win!" "We lost." "And the curse continues." "Monkey!" "Monkey!" "Watch out!" "Monkey!" "No!" "Watch out!" "George!" "Whoa!" "Got you." "(PANTING)" "Wow." "You're safe now, George." "I've got you." "It's all right." "It's okay." "It's okay, George." "George." "I like that name." "It suits you." "(SINGING) This is how it's supposed to be" "Hey, actually, this isn't too bad." "I can't believe I'm doing this." "This is awesome." "I want to be where the water below gives a gift to the sky" "And the clouds give back every time they cry" "And make the grass grow green Beneath my toes" "And if the sun comes out I'll paint a picture all about" "The colors I've been dreaming of" "The hours just don't seem enough" "To put it all together" "Maybe it's as strange as it seems" "And the trouble I find is that the trouble finds me" "Hey, down there!" "Hi!" "It begins with a dream" "And a feeling I get when I look and I see" "That this world is a puzzle Find all of the pieces" "And put it all together And then I'll rearrange it" "I'll follow it forever" "And maybe it's as strange as it seems" "Look, George." "There's the museum." "Can you believe all those people down there are waiting to see this?" "Hey!" "Here it is!" "Here's the giant idol, everybody!" "If only it was that big." "Yeah, that's it, Ted." "Just make it bigger." "No problem." "Wait." "I can't make it bigger, but I know who can." "George, now, hand me that pink balloon, and hang on!" "That's close enough." "(GEORGE WHOOPING)" "Let's see." "Not too round." "Well, this one's not round enough." "Yes, perfect!" "(TED GROANING)" "Huh?" "Oh, I predicted this." "Balloon travel finally coming back into fashion." "Clovis, I've got a problem." " Wait, just a minute." "Are you returning him?" " What?" "Because I have a strict no-return policy on any robotic animals I create, unless, of course, you have a receipt." "What?" "No." "Clovis, calm down." "This is George." "He's a real monkey." "Are you sure?" "Yes." "I found him in the jungle." "Actually, he found me." "(BARKING)" "Well, then, George, meet Sparky." "Sparky, George." " Clovis, I really need your help." " You do?" "Here's my problem." "I see." "Oh, you're just missing the chain." "I think I have an extra one right over..." "No, this is the idol." "Ted, I'm not one to judge, but haven't you exaggerated its size just a wee bit?" "Thanks, Frosty." "What is that?" "Nothing." " Should I be concerned?" " No." "Not if you're behind that wall." "Fire in the hole!" "George, look out!" "Is that popcorn?" "I call it boom-corn." "It's for really big sleepovers with a lot of kids." "Not quite right." "Soaky, when you're done, could you..." "Thank you." "All right, let's see what we can do with that keychain." " Idol." " Idol." "Right." "Yes." "(THE SHARING SONG BY JACK JOHNSON PLAYING)" "(SINGING) It's always more fun to share with everyone" "It's always more fun" "To share with everyone" "If you have one" "Here is something you can learn" "You can still share just by taking turns" "CLOVIS:" "Here's an idea." "I can make it into a snow globe, a rain globe, or..." " Is that a real tornado?" " Fun, huh?" "Clovis, focus." "Focus." "Bigger." "Got you." "Hey, how about something around that size?" "Would that work for you?" "(GEORGE GIGGLING)" "(SPARKY BARKING)" "What do you mean George made it?" "George, is that true?" "Don't get mad at him." "Mad?" "No." "I think he may have the answer to your problem." "Good work, George." "Clovis, I need to borrow your truck." "My truck?" "Thanks, Clove." " (BARKING)" " Be careful!" "What?" "(BARKING)" "You left your squeaky toy in the back of the truck?" " Come on." " This is taking too long." " Oh, no!" "What's going on?" " When is this museum gonna start?" "There are people lined up all around the block!" "I don't understand, Junior." "I thought I told you to cancel the exhibit." "Me?" "No, Father, please." "I don't think so." "Look, I would have done it." "You know, Father, I'm afraid this has the stink of Ted all over it." "Take a whiff with me." " (PHONE RINGING)" " Yeah." " Hello?" " Mr. Bloomsberry?" "Ted here." " Ted?" " How dare..." "Hang up, Father." " No, no." "No, sir, don't hang up." "No." " Ted, I can't talk." " Please, no." "I know." " This is really not a good time." "I have the solution." " Solution?" " I'm sorry." "Did he say, "solution"?" "TED:" "The exhibit can open as planned." "How is that possible?" "Well, I'll explain it when I see you." "All you need to know is, the eagle has landed." " The what?" " JUNIOR:" "Did he say, "beagle"?" " No, I said, "The eagle has landed."" " Eagle?" "What about the idol?" "Ask him about the idol." "No, the idol would be the eagle." "Ted, start over." "It's not a big deal." "I'll be there in 15 minutes." "Okay, fine." "Hurry." "(JUNGLE GYM BY JACK JOHNSON PLAYING)" "(SINGING) The city is my jungle gym" "Look at this big great world That we're living in" "There's lots of fun to be had on these streets" "We can take a ride just you and me" "It's a jungle gym" "TED:" "Would you get out of the way?" "Man on a mission here." "Trolley cars and buses, too" "All the big kids going to school" "I'm going to get a treat from the ice cream man" "I'm seeing multiple violations of rules of the road!" "Multiple violations!" "The city's nitty gritty" "But it's so much fun" "Oh, yeah." "A 40 foot monkey causing unintentional widespread panic?" "Seen it." "Sha la la la la la la la la la" "Sha la la la la la la la la la" "Traffic is crazy." "I'm going to get off Broadway and try Sixth." "It's a funky beat" "The more I've learned inside the city" "Hey, there are lines painted on the street for a reason!" "(HORN BLARING)" "Oh, yeah?" "Well, that's not physically possible for me to do!" "So there." "George, take that license-plate number down, quickly." "The city's nitty-gritty" "George, what are you thinking?" "Tighten your seat belt." "Every nutcase in the city is on the road today." "Wow, Junior is right." "There is a parking problem in this city." "Mr. Bloomsberry!" "Mr. Bloomsberry!" "Oh, no." "Oh, no, no, no, no." "That's it." "Get that little jungle thing out of here before he destroys something else." "Hold on, there, Son." "Ted, what is this contraption?" "Stand back, everyone, and prepare to be amazed." "Oh, yeah." "This ought to be good." "Here, George." "Let's show them." "Small idol." "Big idol." "Isn't that thing awesome?" " What is it?" " I see." " Daddy, I'm scared." " Interesting." " I don't like it." " We optically enlarge the statue." "Yes, I suppose this might work." "Yes, this will definitely work." "Well, sir, the credit really should go to George." "He gave me the idea as we were floating over the city." "Floating?" "You know what?" "I'll tell you about it some other time." "JUNIOR:" "Excuse me." "Hi." "Voice of reason." "Like to introduce myself." "Hello." "Are we so desperate that we'll lie to our public?" "Nonsense." "We promised the people something awe-inspiring, and we're giving it to them, thanks to Ted and George." "I knew you wouldn't let me down." "Well, sir, I've got to tell you, I came pretty close." "No." "No, Ted, I am so proud of you." "You're like the son I never had." "Father, I'm your son, remember?" "Yes, but I had you." "Ted, this is amazing." "Yes, of course." "What was I thinking?" "TED:" "Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" "Isn't that cool?" "Can you believe it?" "Hey, monkey." "Monkey want a sip?" "Go on." "Take it." "Yummy." "Creamy." "Yes." "Good." "Drink it." "Say, I guess the world didn't need another parking lot after all." "Hey, you did it." "Another great Ted moment." "Thank you." "We've got nobody to thank but you." "George, what did you do?" "Oh, Ted, I warned you about that monkey." "You don't give a monkey a latte." "And now he's gone and destroyed the last chance we had of saving my father's museum." "It's my father's only museum." "What have you done, Ted?" "What have you done?" "He's right, Ted." "We've just been fooling ourselves." " It's over." " Agreed." "But, sir, I still think we could..." "Ted, I said, it's over." "It's okay, Father." "It's okay." "I'm here." "Your son." "Your real son." "Junior, not Ted." "Yes, Father, you'll be fine." "No, George." "You just stay here, okay?" "I have to do this." "(CLAMORING)" "Excuse me." "I'm..." "I'm sorry, everybody." "The museum's closed." "ALL:" "What?" "But for how long?" "Forever." "But I want to see the giant idol." "There never was one." "It was all a big mistake." "WOMAN:" "We've been waiting for hours." "GIRL:" "This is terrible." "MAN:" "What a rip-off." "I'm so sorry." "(CHILDREN CHATTERING)" "I have to go." "I'll be back." "I promise." "It's too late to cheer me up." "You think life's just nonstop fun and games, don't you?" "Well, it's not, George." "At least, not for me." "George, please just leave me alone." "You're better off without me." "This is not good, you and me." "You belong in the jungle." "I belong somewhere without a monkey." "I don't want..." "I can't have you in my life." "Please, just go." "Do you understand?" "(CHATTERING HAPPILY)" "No." "Look, monkey, don't follow me." "Get away." "MAN:" "Got him!" "Easy." "Easy." "Get the cage ready." "Careful." "He's dangerous." "Hey, hey, not so rough." "Stand back, sir." "I know he looks cute, but this one's supposed to have teeth like Ginsu knives." "Yeah, that's right." "This matches the description." " Hey, he's getting away." " All right, all right, I got him." "I got him." "Guys." "Guys, could you just take him?" " Careful." "Watch his teeth." " Please." "And don't hurt him." "Relax, little fellow." "Back to Africa with you." "(GEORGE CRYING)" "It's for the best, Ted." "It's for the best." "(WRONG TURN BY JACK JOHNSON PLAYING)" "(SINGING) And I'll wait here a while" "Just long enough to be" "MAN:" "All right, come on." "Take it away." "Didn't make a wrong turn" "And I'll wait long enough" "For maybe an hour or two" "Before I decide" "It wasn't me, it was you" "Peekaboo." "Aboo." "Aboo." "Peek-a-boo." "Peek-a-boo." "George." "He loved peek-a-boo." "You think he saw us?" "(BROKEN BY JACK JOHNSON PLAYING)" "(SINGING) With everything ahead of us We left everything behind" "Everything we needed and right at this time" "And now the feeling that I'm feeling, well" " It's feeling like my life is finally mine" " Man, what a ride." "Hey!" "That's mine!" "Mom!" "If I had a minute For every hour that I wasted" "I'd be rich in time I'd be doing fine" " Without you I was broken" " Monkey." "Monkey." "Over here." " But I'd rather be broke down" " Come, monkey." "Come on." " With you by my side" " Here, monkey." "He loved the primary colors." "Hey!" "No, no, no, no!" "That's fresh paint!" "That's fresh paint, sir!" "No, no, no, no!" "Come on." "Yeah." "Quitting time." "(GEORGE CHATTERING)" "George?" "How'd you get out?" "George?" "So that's why traffic was so bad." "Oh, George." "Here, give me that!" "Those were some good times." "We had some fun, didn't we?" "WOMAN:" "Thank you." "Without you I was broken" "But I'd rather be broke down with you by my side" "Sir, I'm only passing out flyers, not hugs." "Ted, I've been looking for you." "Is everything okay?" "That's what I was thinking." " Yeah, sure." "Why?" " Why?" "Well, you are hugging a man dressed in a monkey costume." "Kind of tight, I might add." "And good luck with that, Phil." "Great to see you again." "Yeah, you, too." "Remember, the sale ends Thursday." "So after they took him away, I've been wandering the streets, and you saw me hugging a man in a monkey outfit." "That pretty much catches you up." "I can't believe George is gone, and it's all my fault." "Yes, it is." "What?" "Ted, do you want me to tell you what you want to hear, or do you want to hear what you should hear, which I'll tell you, and not just what you think you want to hear?" "Run that by me one more time." "George is gone, and I'm afraid it's your fault he's gone." "So the question is, what are you going to do about it?" "You're right." "It is my fault." "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date with a monkey." "You know that I don't have a date with a monkey." "It was just my way of saying that I'm going after George." " Ted." " Right." "Bye." "(SHIP HORN BLOWING)" "Oh, no!" "I'm too late." "Or am I?" "Luckily, movies have taught me exactly what to do in this situation." "Kids, don't try this at home." "Here we go." "What am I doing?" "This isn't a movie." "It's real!" "This is odd." "You guys are a little dressed up for a cargo ship to Africa, don't you think?" "(SHIP HORN BLOWING)" "Oops." "Excuse me." "I'm coming for you!" "George!" "George!" "(MUFFLED) George." "George." "George!" "Where are you?" "George, are you here?" "I think you're here." "George?" "(GEORGE CHATTERING)" "George!" "There you are!" "Stand back, buddy!" "George, give me a hug, you little fur ball!" "There." "You're all right." "Oh, I'm so sorry." "I don't know how I let them take you away." "I mean, I do." "This was so important to me, but somehow it just doesn't matter anymore." "What matters is you and me, buddy, our buddyship." "Now we can do all the monkey things we've always wanted to do." "I'll get an organ and grind, and you can dance for money." "Or I can dance for money." "Who knows?" "We'll figure it out." "We can take turns." "George, do you mind?" "I'm expressing some feelings here." "It's kind of hard, okay?" "Now, where was I?" "Right, who's going to dance." "Oh, no, no." "Adventure!" "You brought adventure to my life." "And now, you know, that's all that matters." "Wait." "Where's that coming from?" "It's a pictogram." "George, it's the map!" "We had it all along." "Of course." ""Turn your eye to the light." "Go from blindness to sight."" "I was supposed to hold the statue up to the sun." "Pack your things, George." "We're off to Africa on the very next ship." "(SHIP HORN BLOWING)" "Wait a minute." "We're already on a ship to Africa." "Man, what a time saver." "Okay, Edu." "I got it." "That's it!" "You did it, George!" "Give me five!" "That's close enough." "Well done, Mr. Ted." " This way, men!" "Follow me." " Right away." "The guy in yellow." "Let's go." "Here I am." "Please, valet at your service." " We've been waiting." " Sorry." "The nearest parking lot is five blocks away." "I know." "I own that parking lot." "That's where the real money is." "I know." "(SOBBING)" "MAN:" "Behold the Eighth Wonder of the World!" "The Lost Shrine of Zagawa!" "Okay, now that, I haven't seen." "But now I've seen it." "WOMAN:" "Way to go, Mr. Ted!" "As I stand in front of the Lost Idol of Zagawa..." "I just have one important thing to say." "Anyone can memorize facts and figures." "The real way to learn anything is to go out and experience it, and let your curiosity lead you." "MAGGIE:" "Oh, George." " Hi." " BOY:" "Hey, it's George." "So who's ready to learn?" "GIRL:" "Wow, it's beautiful." " Remarkable." " I've never seen anything like it." "It's gorgeous." "TED:" "Come on." "This way." "Don't be shy." "MISS PLUSHBOTTOM:" "Oh, this is so exhilarating." "You know, Timmy, I have an original George in my penthouse." "Wow, that looks just like..." "Ivan!" "Wait." "Ted!" "Ted!" "Over here." "There you are, 17-B." "Boy, you're light on your feet for a big man." "I must admit, your monkey shows real talent." "Quite the artist." "So I am taking back kickinging you from building." " Oh, that's great, Ivan." " No hard feelings." "Oh, Georgie, you're just so cute." "I think he likes me." " Right over there." " Thanks, Mr. Bloomsberry." " I parked all the cars, Father." " Good job, Son." "Really?" "A good job." "Oh, Father." "Oh, Father." "Hug time." " There, there, my boy." " Hug your son." " It's okay." "It's okay." " Tighter." "Yes." " Daddy's here." " Hold me." "WOMAN:" "Good job, sweetheart." "Wow, George." "You are so fast!" "What is that?" "I'm not one to brag, but I call it The Magnificator." "That's so cool." "Say, have you seen Sparky?" "I found a rib bone." "I found a femur." "I found..." "Sparky." "And I am happy to say that because of Ted..." "Sir, George, don't forget George." "And George, of course." "We are not going anywhere." "The Bloomsberry Museum is here to stay." "All right, all right, last question." "Ted, where will you and George go for your next adventure?" "The Arctic?" "South America?" "Egypt?" "You know, you don't need to go around the world for a great adventure." "I have a lot of things to catch up on right here." " Really?" " Really." "Mister, George is..." "I know, he's cute." "Lovable." "Very cute." "Very lovable." "Yeah, well, he's also in that rocket." "It's okay." "There's no fuel in it." "(RUMBLING)" "Clovis, you didn't put fuel in that rocket, did you?" "Maybe." " Oh, no." " I see a rocket with empty fuel tanks, what am I supposed to do?" "George, wait!" " MAN:" "Bye." " CLOVIS:" "See you, Ted." " GIRL:" "Look at all the smoke." " CLOVIS:" "No hard feelings, huh?" "Careful, Ted!" "Hurry back!" "Okay, but once around the Earth and then straight home." "Do you hear me?" "Okay?" "I've got plans tonight." "Gosh." "No, no, no, George, I'm not letting you drive." "Just sit back and..." "No, George." "Don't push that button." "I don't know what it does." "George, don't..." "Hold on, George!" "Oh, boy!" "That is a surge of adrenaline." "I'm going to sleep good tonight." "(UPSIDE DOWN BY JACK JOHNSON PLAYING)"