"Fuck me." "Hi, Job." " You're out." " I'm out." "Listen, I know why you're here, but I cannot help you." "Hey!" "Just give me the address, Job." "Why are you even assuming I know how to..." "No, no, no!" "Motherfucker!" "Quit breaking my shit." "Baby, you know how this works." "The trail is cold." "Okay, okay, okay!" "Just stop the carnage." "You've got the whole world in front of you and you're going to the one place you absolutely should not go." "What, are you crazy?" "Hey!" "Morning, everyone." "I've reviewed the defense's motion to dismiss." "And based on the evidence, or the lack thereof it's my opinion that the prosecution cannot sustain the burden for a trial..." " Are you kidding?" " ...so I'm finding for the defense." "Case dismissed." "You can't take this to trial, Gordon." "You should be thanking me for saving you the embarrassment." " Gordon." " Jackson." "That a judge in your pocket or you just happy to see me?" "Mr. Mayor." " Jesus Christ, Gordon." " Oh, pace yourself, Dan." "Our day will come." "Guys like Kai Proctor don't go down easy." "Carrie." "Hey." "You'll get him next time, counselor." "Yeah, I am ready for this day to be over." "Again?" "Yeah." "It's nothing to freak out about." "We're not freaking out." "We're just talking to you." "My point is we don't solve our problems with violence." "I just completed another level." "Yeah, it happens every day, Dad." "I just can't believe that you kicked your teacher." " Substitute teacher." " Oh, well, it's okay, then." "He's a perv, Mom." "He tried to see down my shirt." "With a shirt like that, it doesn't take much trying." " So it's my fault?" " Gordon." "So if I get molested by a teacher, you'll just blame it on my shirt?" " Deva, come on." " Okay, all right." "Max, honey, you have your inhaler?" "Dr. Welling referred Max to another pulmonologist." "We have an appointment next week." "Okay." "Great." " Is your shoulder bad today?" " Ah, it's just the usual." "It'll be all right." "I think I might grab a shower." " Okay." " Okay?" "That's Beaty." "Later." "You're late, bitch." " Whatever, skank." "So, are you in shit with your parents?" " Yeah, when am I not?" " Ha, ha." "Howdy." "I'm gonna go with shitty day..." " ...and whiskey neat." " Whiskey's fine." "And one for yourself." "Are you coming or going?" "I'm still working that out." "That's me, Sugar Bates in the cruiservveight years." "When'd you drop him?" "Fifth?" "Eighth." "He was a southpaw." "They take longer." "See, it was a title fight." "I held the belt for 18 months." "I used to hang it right up there." "You know?" "A good conversation piece." "But with this tough economy, I had to pawn it a little while back to pay for the leaking taps." "That's a shame." "Where are you from?" "Different places." "Where'd you sit?" "Roscoe." "I did eight years at Allenwood." "You look fresh." "Freedom." "Freedom." "Always this quiet around here?" "Well, let's stimulate the local economy." "Next round's on me." "Ha, ha." "All right." "All you tourists buying me drinks today." "I'm not a tourist." "My name is Lucas Hood." "And come Monday, I'm being sworn in as the new sheriff." "Congratulations." "Or should we say good luck?" "I'll take both, thanks." "I spent nine years as sheriff up in Church, Oregon." "You ever heard of it?" "Yeah, I'm not surprised." "It's the armpit of the West." "This is my first day east." "I just drove clear across the country." "There's less to see than you'd think." "I thought the sheriff had to be elected." "Usually, but under certain circumstances, the mayor can bring in a ringer." "He and Sheriff Morgan are the ones who hired me so..." "I was looking forward to meeting them when I got here." "Yeah, well, that'd be quite a trick since he died last Tuesday." "Liver cancer." "I think he thought he had more time." "Aw, shit." "Your boss know you're here?" "Don't worry about him." "You know the drill." "Look at this guy." "Excuse me." "Are we disturbing you?" "No, not at all." "This is just a very good steak." "And I know that once I stand up to deal with you fellas well, maybe you'll come quietly or maybe I'll have to kill you but either way, this steak is gonna get cold." "And you can always reheat a steak but it's never quite the same." "Hmm?" "You got some balls on you, motherfucker." "Sheriff's Department." "I'll take that gun now." "No, you drop your fucking gun." "That's the new STI, isn't it?" " That's a hard gun to get." " Who the fuck is this guy?" " You sit your ass down." " All right, hear me out, sheriff." " They got you outgunned." " Damn straight we do." "While on the other hand, if he shoots, one of you boys is dead or shitting in a bag the rest of his life." "For what?" "The 200 bucks Sugar has in the register at 4 p.m. on a Tuesday?" "Come on." "So, Sheriff, why don't you let them take the cash?" "Just let them take it." "I'll buy enough drinks to make him whole." "Everyone goes home happy." "What do you say?" "Come on." "Oh, God!" "Am I dead?" "Yeah." "It's my first day in town." "Shit!" "Sorry." "I hope my mother was right about God." "Jesus ripshit Christ." "This is what you call in the Bible a "clusterfuck of epic proportions."" "Two cons, three corpses, one of them a cop." "I don't like that math." "You'd better get out of here." "Well, they would have killed me same as him." "The least I can do is give you a head start." "What about you?" "I got a few tricks." "Go on, now." "Get out of here." "Hi, Ana." "How did you find me?" "It was Job." "It's a nice house." "Yeah, it seems, um uh, solid." "So, what do you have, two kids?" " Yes." " Yeah?" "How old?" "My son is 8." "My daughter is 13." "Hmm." "She looks older." "I can smell your perfume from here." "Please, you're gonna have to leave." "Please." "Please." "Ana." "I'm not Ana anymore." "My name is Carrie." "Where were you?" " I tried to visit." " No. 15 years." " I drove up to those gates." " You were here playing fucking house?" " You have no idea how many times." " Don't you tell me that." " Where the fuck were you?" " I don't have to justify myself to you." "I have responsibilities." "I have children." "Okay?" "I have a husband who loves me." "Hey." " It's me." " Don't." "I can't." "You could have led Rabbit straight to me." "What the fuck were you thinking?" "Okay." "You moved on." "I get it." "So give me my cut and you'll never see me again." "I don't have the diamonds." "What?" "What?" "After we screwed Rabbit like that and you had gotten caught..." "No, no, I did not get caught." "There were two of us there that night!" " Shh, shh!" "I know." " I led them away from you!" "Listen, I tried to fence them." "The guys I found, these real bottom-feeders, Serbians they saw me coming." "You're telling me you got rolled?" "Does it look like I'm sitting on $10 million?" "Mm." "I don't get the girl." "I don't get the money." "I spent 15 years picturing this day and I gotta tell you, this is not how I saw it playing out." "I'm so sorry." "I am so fucking sorry." "Hey, babe, you out here?" " Shit." "Yeah." "Hey, honey." "Raccoon." "Christ." "You trying to kill me?" "Have you picked a spot yet?" "You one of them complicated types." "Is that it?" "No, some people just don't know simple when they see it." "Don't seem right burying the sheriff with that pond scum." "What, do you wanna dig him his own hole?" "Yeah, that'd be the Christian thing to do." "That you?" " Hello?" " Sheriff Hood it's Mayor Dan Kendall." "Am I catching you at a bad time?" "Sheriff?" "Are you there?" " Yeah, this is Hood." " How's the drive going?" "A lot less to see than you'd think." "Well, I just wanted to confirm tomorrow." "You'll be in town by then?" " Should be, yeah." " Great." "So that's 1:00 at Miles' Diner." "I look forward to finally meeting you in person." "Great." "I'll see you then." "Now tell me you got some kind of master plan here." "Well, I usually just get by with my charm." " Hishi Salon." " I need a favor." "And I need $5000 for all the shit you broke." " I'll make it 10." " Fuck you!" " Speak." " I need to become someone else." "Honey child, don't we all?" "Someone specific." " Name?" " Lucas Hood of Church, Oregon." "Shouldn't be a problem." "Unless he's a motherfucking cop." "Are you kidding me?" "I need it quick, Job." "Baby, you just sat for 15 years because you were the most notorious thief in the country." "Now you want to play cop?" "Can you do it?" "I mean, I have to hack law-enforcement databases ...swap out fingerprints and photo IDs find any news article that might have run a picture..." " So you can't do it?" " Suck my tit, bitch!" "Of course I can do it." "Take a couple days." "As for the credentials I can get you the papers, but the badge itself..." "I got the badge." "I don't even wanna know." "You know, some cons, the minute they get out they're just trying like hell to get back in." "I'm not going back." "Yeah, well, you got a revolutionary way of staying out of trouble." "Here." "The pickup belonged to the sheriff." "Thanks." "Hey." "You got a place to stay?" "No one's ever stolen from Rabbit." "Okay." "Hey, go in back and stay out of sight." " What for?" " Go now." "Morning, Sugar." "Kai." "How are the headaches?" "Did those Mexican painkillers I got you help?" "They did." "Thanks." "What brings you around?" "Randall and Munson." "Munson, the bald one?" "One of the boys thought they might have been headed out this way yesterday afternoon." "Well, they didn't come here." "If they did, I'd have taken notice." "If any of my employees ever stepped out of line hassled you in any way, I'd expect you to call me." "What I mean is I wouldn't want you to take matters into your own hands." "Ha, ha." "Look at me." "Nobody runs from a fight faster than an old fighter." "What happened to your title fight?" "Oh, I knocked it off the hook the other night, busted up the frame." "I'm having it redone." "Ah." "Thanks for the drink." "You let me know if you need any more of those painkillers." "That's some car." "Look, if you're thinking of stealing from Kai Proctor you may as well take a bullet and put it in your head now." "Kai Proctor." "There is a name." "What the man doesn't own, he runs." "What he doesn't run, he burns to the ground." "He seemed to like you well enough." "We go back a ways." " Uh-huh." " Listen." "You don't seem like the kind of guy who takes advice but I'm gonna try anyway." "There's $400." "Take it and go." " I can't." " Look around." "You're free, man." "Pay you back in a few days." "Good to meet you." "Lucas Hood." "Lucas Hood." "How are...?" "How...?" "It's a legitimate concern and I promise I'll talk to the school." "Excuse me." " Say hi to Amy." " Thank you." " Sheriff Hood?" " That's right." "It's great to meet you." "Yeah, you too." "I know, I look young, but that's just because I am." "Have a seat." "Job, two suits, badly tailored." "They're looking for you." "Cops?" "Let's hope so." "I want all the backup drives in the car now." "Keep the engine running." "Gentlemen, we don't actually open till 10 but if you'll follow me back upstairs, I'm sure we can find somewhere to fit you in." "Down here might be better for the private nature of our inquiry." "Inquiry?" "Hmm." "May I see some ID?" "This ain't a badge." "No. it's not." "Fucking slope cunt!" "We work for Mr. Rabbit." "Sweet fuck." "The guy you're looking for came in a couple of days ago." " And what did he want?" " Just the usual, man." "Credit cards, ID's." " Where is he now?" " I'll tell Mr. Rabbit whatever he wants but I've no idea." "Okay, okay, okay!" "I'll get the file!" "It's in the safe." "That would be helpful." "Love me" "Love, love, love Love me" "I'll be anything you want me To be, baby" "Drive." "So I pissed off some people when I hired you." "But every sheriff that we've had, including Morgan ended up on Proctor's payroll, so I needed an outsider." "So you brought me in here to take down this one guy?" "This Proctor?" "He's not just one guy, all right?" "There's not a criminal enterprise around here that doesn't start or end in his pockets." "Now, I know you don't work till Monday but I wanna show you the Cadi." "The Cadi?" "The old Sheriff's Department burned down three years ago." "City Hall was pretty strapped." "Froemer's Cadillac had just gone under, so we got creative." "Girl, you're gonna leave that man..." " ...and you're gonna leave that man tonight." " Mm-mm." "Alma." "Um, I'll call you later." "Meet Lucas Hood." " Good to meet you, Alma." " Sheriff Hood." "Great to meet you." "Mm-hm." " Afternoon, mayor." " This is Lucas Hood." "This is Emmett Yawners." "He's one of the top 10 rushers of all time at Penn State." " Good to meet you." " Welcome to the B.S.D." "This is Brock Lotus, our longest-serving member of the department." " That right?" " How are you doing, sheriff?" "You fucking fascist!" "I didn't even do anything." "Oh, yeah, you're a model citizen." "You try and fight me again, I remove your fucking testicles." " Hi." " Hi." "This is Lucas Hood." "It's your new boss." "Well, shit, Danny, you could have said so sooner." "I'm Siobhan Kelly." " My name's Peter." " Shut the fuck up!" "I was thinking maybe you could show the sheriff the town of Banshee." "Oh, I'd love to, but, uh, I have to write up Charlie Sheen here." "Actually, uh, I'd love a tour from the longest-sewing member of the department." "All right, so why don't we start on the outskirts of town?" "There's an Indian casino." "Work our way back." "Did I catch you on a bad day or you always this cheerful?" "AW, shit." "What's going on?" "Moody boys build furniture and the Amish mills have been driving down their prices." "We've, uh..." "We've had incidents." "They won't hit back." "Oh, you've seen Witness." "Yeah, that's great." "Why don't you let me handle this, huh?" " Yeah, sure." " Hood, Hood!" "Whoops!" "We don't work, you don't work." " The fuck up, punk." " Hey!" "Why don't we all just take a moment talk about this?" "Who the fuck are you?" "Lucas Hood." "I'm the new sheriff." "Hey, Lotus, I thought you were supposed to take over when Morgan kicked." "Yeah, well, you and me both." "Hey!" "Cole." "That's enough." "I'm sure your wife's got better things to do than bail your ass out of jail today." " I'm not through messing with them." " Yeah, you are." "If you're the sheriff, why aren't you in uniform?" "I don't start till Monday." "So there's nothing stopping us from fucking your shit up today, then, huh?" "Yeah." "I hoped you'd make that connection." " All right, boys." " Easy, deputy." "I got this." "So, come on, Cole fuck my shit up." "All right, just to be clear, we'll be pounding a civilian..." "Come on, motherfucker." "Get up!" "Get his ass, Cole." "Get his ass!" "That's enough, Cole." "Mr. Proctor." "Your four-on-one advantage wasn't enough?" "You needed this?" "Come on, guys." "Hold on." "These men are on a schedule." "Why don't you boys help them load their wagons?" "Yes, sir." "Come on." "You are?" " Lucas Hood." " The new sheriff." "Fucking Dutchie." "This isn't over." "Kai Proctor." "Sorry if I stepped on your toes there." " Mr. Proctor, what exactly do you do?" " I'm in meats." "Why don't you stop by the slaughterhouse?" "I'll set you up with some nice steaks." "Father it's good to see you." "Hey, Lotus, I'm gonna walk." "You're welcome, by the way." "I have to go." "Come on, stay with me." " See you later." " What?" "But I love you." " Whoa!" "You okay?" " Yeah, my bad." "Okay." "It's all right." "Thirteen years old, my ass." "Hey." "Sorry, you dropped this." " Thanks." " Shouldn't you be in school?" "Yeah, I should." "Can't your boyfriend take you back?" "Who says he's my boyfriend?" "Well, I hope he's not your brother." "pls." "Our numbers are down at both strip clubs?" "With the economy what it is..." "Men will pay for tits until they're broke or dead." "Fix that, Burton." "You said you wanted to see me?" "It's a relatively humane procedure." "We stun the beasts with a pneumatic captive bolt gun..." "One of these." "One bolt to the brain does the trick." "Then we cut them and they quietly bleed out." " Listen, um..." " The Old Order Pennsylvania Dutch don't like being called "Dutchies."" "It's derisive." "I believe I heard you call my father a "fucking Dutchie."" "I was just running my mouth." "I didn't know he was your father." "Now you take your teeth and put them back in your fat, bigoted mouth and get the fuck out of here." "Back in your mouth, I said." "Why don't you see Mr. Moody out?" "You." " They get your size wrong?" " No, I'm good." "Bring the pants to the Martinizing over by the diner." "They'll take them in for you." "All right, thanks." "I'll do that." "Ha, ha." "You got any family coming to the swearing in?" "No, I don't have any family..." "Well, we'll all be there and at Proctor's reception after." "Reception?" "Say what you will about Proctor, but the man knows how to throw a party." "There." "Now that's what a sheriff looks like." " I do solemnly swear..." " I do solemnly swear that I will support, protect, and defend that I will support, protect, and defend the Constitution and government of the United States the Constitution and government of the United States and of the State of Pennsylvania that I have no knowledge of any circumstance that I have no knowledge of any circumstance past or present ...past or present." "...that would disqualify me from the assignment of this office that would disqualify me from the assignment of this office..." " ...that I have neither given..." " ...that I have neither given nor will give any person any gratuity, gift, fee, or reward in consideration of support for this office nor will give any person any gratuity, gift, fee, or reward in consideration of support for this office that I am duly qualified to hold office that I am duly qualified to hold office..." " ...under the Constitution of the state..." " ...under the Constitution of the state and that I will well and faithfully perform and that I will well and faithfully perform the duties of Banshee County Sheriff the duties of Banshee County Sheriff the office of which I now enter the office of which I now enter so help me God." "Understated as usual." "You just charged the man with racketeering." "Now you're at his party." "Only in Banshee." "Sheriff Hood." "Mr. Proctor." "This is some shindig." "You'll find that Banshee is not the backwater town it sometimes pretends to be." "You enjoy yourself." "I'll check in on you soon." "Sure." "Sheriff Hood." "Gordon Hopewell." " We met at the swearing in." " The DA, right?" "Honey, come over and meet our new sheriff." "Hi." "Lucas Hood." "Great to meet you." "Carrie?" "I'm sorry." "I'm not myself tonight." "No?" "Who are you, then?" "Good to meet you, Mrs. Hopewell." "I'm telling you, there's something wrong with that guy." "He went through the Moody boys like they were cardboard." "So you're upset that our sheriff knows how to fight?" "It wasn't just fighting, Emmett." "It was fucking combat." "Sheriff Hood I'd like you to meet Chief Benjamin Longshadow of the local Kinaho Tribe a good friend and a great man revered in Banshee." " Good to meet you, chief." " Likewise, Sheriff Hood." "My son Alex." " Hi." " Hey, Alex." "When you get settled, my tribal council wants to honor you with a dinner." "On the reservation, of course." "Yeah, um, that sounds great." "Uh, you'll..." "You'll excuse me?" "A sheriff?" "Are you kidding me?" "They have a great health plan." "You're not gonna need it in prison." "You used to have more faith in me." " Why are you doing this?" " You know why." "Come here for a sec." " I don't believe this." " It's an old Sargent safe." "I can't get in there, but you could do it in your sleep." " Jesus." " Come on, it's the least you can do." "No." "What you're doing is crazy." "If you don't end it, I will." "Yeah?" "You're in no position to blow any whistles, Mrs. Hopewell." "You're insane." "Honey I'm feeling pretty tired." "You're preaching to the choir." "I think we've stayed long enough." "Kai, thanks for having us." "Sure." "Glad you stopped by." "This isn't awkward at all." "Oh, my God!" " Proctor!" " Get out of here." " Just stay there." "Get down, get down." "Please." " Dutchie motherfucker!" "Taxi!" "Knight to rook four." "Yours." "Pishak to queen three." "Yours." "So, no documents no software, no hardware." "Everything in this hairdresser's, burned?" "Yes." "Queen to knight two." "Checkmate." "You will find them both quickly."