"Oh hey, Joey." "Listen, I need to ask you sth." "Ok, you know how my step-dad's in prison?" "Yeah, well, listen, he was supposed to get a weekend furlough so he could come to the wedding tomorrow." "But he just called and uhm, well apparently, stabing iceman in the exercise yard, just couldn't wait until Monday." " So he can't come?" " No." "And so there's no one to walk me down the aisle." "And uh, well, I'd just really love it if you would do it." "Seriously?" "Yeah, you, you know, you've sorta been like a dad to me." "I mean, you've always, you know, looked doubt for me and shared your wisdom." "I'm pretty wisdomas." "So, what do you say?" "Are you kidding?" "Phoebe, I would be honored." "Oh, thank you." "I hope, I hope you know how much you mean to me." "Listen, I hope, I hope you know..." "I don't want you see your father crying." "Go to your room!" "So no one told you life was gonna be this way" "Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. (dead on arrival)" "It's like you're always stuck in second gear when it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year but I'll be there for you" "(When the rain starts to pour)" "I'll be there for you" "(Like I've been there before)" "I'll be there for you" "('Cause you're there for me too)" "Oh, no, no." "Let your dad get this." "Oh, it's my wedding planner." "She's driving me crazy." "Hello." "Hey, ok, stop screaming!" "Ok, so halibut." "Alright, so salmon, either way, I don't know." "It doesn't matter to me." "Well, it matters to me!" "Well, I don't care, so you pick." "Did you just hang up on me?" "Alright, look." "I need you at the rehearsal dinner tonight at 18:00." "Uhuh, ok, what time is that?" "You don't know military time?" "Well, I must have been in a missile training the day they taught that." "Just subtract twelve." " Ok." "So 1800-12 is 1788." " 6:00!" "Oh, hold on." "Yeah, Galler here." "No, I said it has to be there by 5:00, goodbye." "God, how hard is it to make an ice sculpture?" "Ice sculpture?" "That sounds really fancy." "I told you I just want a simple wedding." "Please, honey." "Leave the datails to me." "Now I want to make this day as special for you as I can." "Now ok, I was thinking that the Harbors should wear white." "Harbors?" "My friend Margery is playing the steel drums." "Oh, she backed out." "She did?" "Why?" "I made her." "Steel drums don't really say elegant wedding." "Nor does Margery's overwhelming scent." "Hey!" "She will shower when Tibet is free." "Hey." "You look great." "I'm so glad we're having this rehearsal dinner, you know?" "I so really get to practice my meals before I eat them." "Hey, what did we say it was your one gift to us." "No stupid jokes." "But, I thought that was for the actual wedding." "Rehearse it." "Hi." "Thanks for coming, you guys." "Oh, I..." "I was going for a handshake." "Is that why your hand is pressed against my crotch?" "That is why." "So, Rach, where is Emma?" "Oh, Monica made me send her to my mother's." "Apparently, babies and weddings don't mix." "Are you still crying about your damn baby?" "Phoebs, you gotta keep the line moving." "Remember, 20 seconds per person." "You see these clowns all the time." "Hey, you're Mike's parents, right?" "Yes, we are." "Our little ones are grown up fast, aren't they?" "How's that?" "You know, on the one hand, you're happy for them, but on the other hand, it's hard to let go." "Who in God's name are you?" "Hey I'm not fond of you, either, ok?" "But at least I was just trying to be nice for the kids." "You know what I just realized?" "We have no idea what we're doing in the wedding tomorrow." "Yeah, I thougt we'd be groomsmen." "But wouldn't they've just asked us by now?" "When did they ask you to be a bridesmaid?" "Uh..." "November?" "I wanna say it's not looking good." " Hey, Phoebs?" " Sorry?" "Uh, you haven't told these guys what they are doing in the wedding yet." " Uhm, well, they're not in the wedding." " What?" "Well, this is really awkward." "Oh, and I can leave." "I'm sorry, you guys." "But you know, Mike has got his brother and his friends from school, so, you know." "You were, if it helps, you were next in line." "You just miss the khi." "Oh, man." "This is like Figure Skating Team all over again." "I mean Synchronized Swimming." "I mean the Balance Beam." "Help me." " Football!" " Thank you." "Oh, Phoebs, spit that out." "That has pork in it." "I thought the pot stew is supposed to be vegetarian." "Yeah, I changed them." "I sent you a fax about it." "Well, I don't have a fax machine." "Huh!" "Well there are going to be a few surprises." "I can't believe we're gonna be the only people that aren't in this way." "I know, I hate being left outta things." "And it's a wedding!" "It'll be weird if I'm not in it." "Hey, guys, how's it going?" "Fine." "We're just sitting here, alone, doing nothing." "It's our rehearsal for tomorrow." "Hey look, about tomorrow, I've got a question for you." "I just found out that one of my groomsman had an emergency and can't make it." " What happened?" " Who cares!" "And?" "And I was wondering if, you know, maybe one of you guys..." " I'll do it!" " No, no." "Me, me!" "You both wanna do it?" "Uh, there's only room for one." "Pick me!" "I look great in tux and I will not steal focus." "No, Mike, no." "You wanna pick me!" "I mean, watch!" "Uhm, I really don't feel very comfortable making this decision." "You know, Phoebe knows you better, I'm gonna let her chose." "Well, if Phoebe's choosing, then say hello to Mike's next groomsman." "Oh, I will." "But I'll need a mirror, as he is me." " Please, you're going down." " You're going downer." "Is that what they say on the Figure Skating Team?" "I wouldn't know, I didn't make it." "So you know I'm fulfilling Phoebe's step-dad tomorrow, right?" "Yeah." "Thanks for doing that." "Oh, hey, my pleasure." "So what are your intentions with my Phoebe?" "I intend to marry her." "Oh, a wise acher." "Now I understand you planned to support your wife by playing the piano." "It's kinda unstable." "No more so than acting." "Strike 2." "You're right." "She probably will support me." "Hey, unless we move in with you, dad." "Strike 3." "You only get one more, Mike." "So?" "What did you decide?" "I decided to pee." "Mike didn't tell you?" "You have to choose one of us to be in your wedding, one of your groomsman fell out." "Oh, no." "I can't choose between you two." "I love you both so much." "Just not enough to put us in the original wedding party." "I don't wanna choose." "It's..." "Oh, ok, wait." "Rach!" "Uhm, listen, I have a very special bridesmaid test for you to give." "Goody!" "What is it?" "Well, there is a spot open for one groomsman and you have to choose between Ross and Chandler." "So, good luck with that." "What, what?" "No, no, I don't wanna do that." "Alright, I guess I have to find a new bridesmaid." "I'll do it!" "Ok, it's 21:00." "Time for your toasts." "Do I have a minute to go to the bathroom?" "You had a bathroom break at 20:30." "Pee on your own time, Mike." "Now." "In regard to the toasts, ok?" "You wanna keep them short." "Nothing kills a rehearsal dinner like long speeches." "Ok." "You just get in, do your thing and get out." "Is that what you said to Chandler?" "It's 21:01, and I'm not amused." "The bride and groom have a few words they like to say." "Ok." "Hello, everyone, and thank you all for being here tonight." "So, tomorrow is the big event." "And some of might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start." "Uhm, yeah." "My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends." "So, I, I..." "I..." "I gave it a lot thought and I fixed him up with my friend Marialen who couldn't be here tonight because..." "Which is not important, she is in rehab..." "Anyway, so Joey said he was fixing me up with his friend Mike only he didn't have a friend Mike, so he just brought, uh, my Mike, and..." "But despite... you know, it got, it got good." "Ok, I wanna take a moment to metion my mother who couldn't be here for..." "Oh, god." "And, and moment is over." "So, ok, uhm..." "Oh no, forget that, I can firget that, and uh..." "Oh, this is funny, oh but you need to know that..." "Oh, well ok, I..." "Ok, Monica, I can't do it like this!" "This is my wedding!" "Ok?" "I don't wanna this, or this, or this, ok?" "I just wanted a simple wedding where my fiance can go to the bathroom any time he wants!" "You know what?" "You're done." " What?" " You're fired!" "Cheers!" " Hey!" " Happy wedding day!" "Oh, happy my wedding day to you." "Ok, Joey, listen, this is going to be bridesmaid centre, alright?" "We're gonna have hair makeup going on in bathroom, and..." "Oh, I had to move a couple of things in the frige to make room for the corsages." "Oh, man!" "I wouldn't have breakfast if I knew there's gonna be corsages." "Uh, about last night," "I know you're under a lot of stress and..." "Even though that the things you said hurt me a little bad." "My point is..." "Well, I'm willing to take my job back." "Oh, well, that's ok." "I think you and I will do much better if you're just, you know, as bridsmaid." "Well, if you say so, ok." "If that's really what you want and here, I give you the headset." "I don't really wanna give you the headset." "And I guess if you're taking over, then you should probably return these messages." "Wow, this is a lot." "But I'm sure you can handle this." "I mean I have won awards for my orgnizational skills but," "I'm sure you'll do fine." "You've won awards?" "I printed it on my computer." " Hey." " Hi." "Where is Rach?" "She's in her room, why?" "I have to talk to her about this groomsman situation, ok?" "I'm not gonna watch Chandler up there while I'm sitting in the seat like some chump." "Ah, my God, you're breathtaking." "What do you want?" "You haven't by any chance chosen the groomsman yet, have you?" "Oh, Ross, come on, please." "Don't make it harder than it already is." "I'm not." "I'm making it easier, pick me!" "Well, Chandler said that it's really important for him, too." "Listen, whoever you pick is gonna walk down the aisle with you." "Now I promise I won't say a word, but if you pick Chandler, he's gonna be whistling stupid jokes in your ear the whole time." "Oh, you're the less of two evils." "Stan, I don't understand what you're saying." "What is wrong with the flowers?" "Lorgans?" "What the hell are lorgans?" "I know." "Hey." "Listen, Mike, if you were swedish, and you were saying the word lorgans, what flower will that be?" " Orchids?" " Right there, that's why I'm marrying you." "Hello, Michael." "Joseph." "May I have a word with you, please?" "This is... great." "Have a seat." "Last night, I tried to welcome you into my family." "Instead, you disrespected me." "I can not allow this." "Are you rehearsing for some really bad mafia movie?" "More back talk." "And yes, I maybe borrowing a few lines from my recent unsuccessful audition for Family Onitu, this time isn't personal." "Joey, I kinda have a little lot to do today, what do you want?" "I want you to take this seriously." "Phoebe is very, very important to me, ok?" "And I wanna make sure that you are gonna take care of her." "Joe, I love Phoebe." "She's the sigle most important thing in my life." "I'd die before I let anything happen to her." "That's what I wanted to hear." "Because she's family, ok?" "And now you're gonna be family." "And there's nothing more important in the whole world than family." " That must have been one lousy movie." " That was me!" "Hey, can I talk to you about the groomsman thing?" "If you pick Ross, you know, he'll walk you down the aisle just fine." "But if you choose me, you'll be getting some comedy." "Even so," "I think I'm gonna pick Ross." "Let me tell you why you need to pick me." "See, when I was a kid, I was always left outta everything." "you know, and it really made me feel insecure." "I was always picked last in gym, even behind the big fat exchange student who didn't even know the rules to baseball." "I mean, this guy would strike out and then run to third." "Anyway, if I'm the only one left outta this wedding," "I just know that all those old feelings are gonna come rushing back." "Alright, fine, I pick you." "Make groom for Chandler." "Oh, my!" "No, we're gonna do it my way." "Because your way is stupid." "Alright, I gotta go, I have another call reverend." "Hello." " I'm glad we have this little talk." " Yes, yeah." "And thanks for all the wedding night advice." "That didn't make me uncomfortable at all." "Alright, it's all." "See everybody tonight." "Uh, did you guys know that there's a giant ice sculpture in the hall?" "Oh my god, what's it doing here?" "Ah, I guess it got sent to the billing addr as apposed to shipping addr." "Oh, What a pickle!" "Oh my god!" "Everything is such a mess." "Why is this happening to me?" "How bad do you wanna stick you tongue on that?" "How's it going?" "Good." "I'm just getting some coffee, so I'm alert for the wedding." "That's what I was doing, too." "Well, you have fun tonight." " You, too." " Oh, I will." "Me, too." "Wait a minute, I know why I'm being such an ass, why you?" "I'm not supposed to tell you." "You told us both we could be in the wedding?" "Well, in my defence, you weren't supposed to tell each other!" "Rachel, only one of us can do it." "You have to choose." "You and me, together again." "Rach, Rach, knock, knock." " Who's there?" " I'll tell you at the wedding." "Hey." "I forgot my scarf." "Well, you know what, I can't do this, I don't know which one of you guys to pick." "Oh, you haven't picked yet." "Oh, good, 'cause I had an idea." "I thought it would be fun if the third groomsman was my family dog Chappy." "What, a dog?" "No, Rachel gets to choose." "Well, this is a tough one." "I think I'm gonna have to go with the dog." "Alright, wait, so what you're saying is the chef is at the Hamilton Club but the food is not, and the drinks are there but the bartender is not?" "Are... are you frigging kidding me!" "?" "How's it going?" " Help me." " What?" "I want you to be crazy bitch again." "Really?" "Please." "Do you really want me to come back?" "Uh, more than I want to get married." "Ok, people, we're back in business." "Oh god, I've missed you so much." "Ok, go get you hair makeup done and I'll take care of everything." "Hey, what are you guys gonna do?" " About what?" " The blizzard." "I just saw on the news said the worst snowstorm in 20 years already closed all the bridges and tunnels." "But the band and photographer are coming all the way from New Jersey." "I don't think they are." "Ha ha, looks you're not gonna be in the wedding, either." "So sorry, Phoebs." "Well, the club lost its power." "Yeah, according to the news, most of the city did." "Since when do you watch the news?" "Uh, F.Y.I, since they hired a very hot weather girl." "I can't believe you guys aren't gonna be bale to get married today." "Well, you know, it's so beautiful out there." "You always wanted to get married outside, why don't you guys just do it on the street?" "What?" "Look, it's hardly snowing anymore." "I mean, you couldn't ask for a more romantic setting." "This could be the simple wedding you've always wanted." "What do you think?" "I think I wanted to get married to you today." "Me, too." "Monica, do you think we can do it?" "Affirmative." "Ok." "Let's get these chairs out here." "Gunther, hit the christmas lights." "Ok, who left the ice sculpture on the steam grid?" " Michael." " Hey, you made it." "Great." "Chappy!" "Mom, I know getting married in the street isn't sth you approve of..." "No." "It's lovely, the lights and the snow." "I can look at them forever." "I crashed the pill and put it in her drink." "Come on, sweat heart." "You know, Chappy is too small to handle all the snow, someone's gonna have to walk him down the aisle." "So, technically will this person be in the wedding?" " I guess." " I'll do it." "Wait, no." "But Chandler, hello, aren't you scared of dogs?" "I'm not scared." "I just take little Chappy and..." "He can sense my fear!" "My throat is exposed!" "Oh, I guess I'm in the wedding, then." "Ha ha!" "He stinks." "Level 1 alert!" "I repeat, Level 1, this is not a drill!" "We've got a situation, the minister just called he's snowed in, he can't make it." "Oh, no." "Oh hey, don't worry." "I'm still ordained from your wedding." " Really?" " Yeah." "You think I'd give up being a minister and start paying the ride of subway?" "Uh, ministers don't ride the subway for free." "I had to read the bible pretty carefully, but yeah, we do." "Ok, if Joey does the ceremony, then we have to find someone else to walk Phoebe down the aisle." "I'll do it!" "Aha ha..." "Ok, Mike and Joey, get in position." "Chandler, come with me." "Ok, Joey's throwing the ceremony, and Chandler's giving you away." "Oh, ok." "Hi, new dad." "So, you ready to do this?" "Uh uhn." "Oh my god, this is really happening." "Oh, Phoebe, I'm so happy for you, honey." "I love you." "Oh, wait wait, no hugs, the dresses!" "What the hell." "Come on!" "I love you, guys." "Ok, it's 0:00." "All teams execute on my count." "Let's get this bad boy on the road!" "Is it ok that I want you to wear that headset in bed tonight?" "Uh, I have the schedule for nudity at 23:00." "Oh yeah." "Ok, Margery, hit it." "Geeze, Ross, you could've showered." "It's the dog!" "Groomsman, why are you just stading there?" "Where's your bridesmaid?" "We've got a broken error, bridesmaid down." "Oh, it's me." " Ready?" " Ok." "Oh wait, oh no, wait." "Wow, aren't you gonna be could?" "I don't care." "I'll be my sth blue." " You look beautiful." " Thank you." "My god, aren't you freezing?" "Nuh." "Friends, Family, Dog." "Thank you all for been here to witness this blessed event." "The could has now spread to my special place." "So I'm gonna do the short version of this." "Phoebe and Mike are perfect for each other and I know I speak for everyone here when I wish them a lifetime of happiness." "Who has the rings?" "When I was growing up, I didn't have a normal mom and dad, or a regular family like everybody else." "And I always knew that something was missing." "But now, I'm standing here today, knowing that I have the everything I'm ever gonna need:" "You are my family." "Phoebe, you're so beautiful." "You're so kind, you're so generous." "You're so wonderfully weird." "Every day with you is an adventure." "I can't believe how lucky I am." "And I can't wait to share my life with you forever." "Oh wait, no." "I forgot, and I love you." "And you have nice eyes." "I love you, too." "Uh, Joey." "Chppy's heart rate has slowed way down." "Phoebe, do you take this man to be your husband?" "I do." "Mike, do you take this woman to be your wife?" "I do." "I now pronounce you husband and wife." "I got married!" "Could someone get me a coat?" "I'm frigging freezing." "That really was an incredible wedding." "That was, yeah." "I kinda don't want to end." "Hey, you wanna come in for a drink and bite a corsage?" "I'd love to but it's 23:00 and I'm about to have the most organized sex anyone's ever had." "Nice." "Hey, what happened to Ross?" "I don't know." "Maybe he hooked up with that hot girl he was talking to." "Come on, Chappy, do your business, make!" "I did not sign on for this."