"...Don't pretend, Captain..." "Good timing." "Read me a few lines?" "I'll be late for work." "It won't take much time." "Don't work too hard, Dad." "Who'll pay the bills If I don't work?" "Nonsense." "This time, I'm cast as the lead." ""Eels on Sale"" "What time is the sale?" "Eh..." "I don't know." "Don't you work here?" "No, I..." "No!" "Shush!" ""TV Series:" "The Handsome Serial Killer"" ""Pride of the police force"" "Your flowers!" "Her flowers?" "Excuse me!" "Your flowers!" "Take 1" "Action!" "You're under arrest for murder!" "Cut!" "Checking the gate!" "Excuse me." "Coffee." "What's wrong?" "...I messed up." "What?" "My ring." "I lost it." "Momoko will be disappointed." "Your ring looks like this?" "Take it Tomo." "No one will notice." "But..." "It's okay." "I've been divorced for a while." "Just take it." "You can kiss good-bye to cavities and gum disease." "Bigger smile." "Got to look more cutesy!" "I am smiling, but unless I lower the toothbrush or you raise the camera, you won't see my smile." "I know that!" "Get me another girl!" "What's going on?" "Leave me alone." "I don't have your originality or your energy." "I can't keep up with you!" "But..." "I told you." "I'm fed up!" "Go live in New York or wherever!" "Let's have a party for us supporting actors." "It will be the last time I hang out with you guys." "Next month, I play the lead In a Woody Allen remake." "What's wrong with being a supporting actor?" "As a leading man, I can make full use of my acting skills." "Hiroshi!" ""Wife of MP Kuroiwa, 49 years old" " careless fling with a minor actor!"" "I was delivering the flowers she forgot." "They cancelled your next movie contract - the Woody Allen remake." "What?" "The MP called the film's sponsor." "I didn't have an affair with her!" "This is crazy!" "They can't cancel my contract!" "What!" "Dad, are you okay?" "I'll be home in a few days." "Spoke with your mother too." "You have my manuscript?" "You should rest." "Just bring lt." "You work too hard, Dad." "I'm not a lazy bum like you." "Feeling better?" "Yes." "Your temperature." "Sure." "This is my son." "Your father's book is fantastic!" "I love the old lady." "She's so wise and strong." "May I have your autograph?" "That's wonderful!" "Even with my autograph, nobody will pay more than the cover price." "That's so funny." "My son's an actor " "He'll play the lead in the next Woody Allen remake." "Say something romantic, like "I love you"." "No thanks." "Were you just on TV?" "That's odd." "I thought I just saw you..." "Had another fight?" "I don't get you." "What?" "Shhh..." "Shoplifter." "What do you have in your bag?" "What did you say?" "Take it easy, sir." "Ouch!" "Give me back my wallet!" "Stop it, you pervert!" "You want me to call the cops?" "Go ahead!" "You dropped this?" "Ah - that's mine..." "Excuse me." "Eh..." "I'm not the police." "If you want to press charges, call a real cop." "Hey, wait!" "You dropped this." "You're Hiroshi Matsuzaki - the actor?" "Yeah..." "Coffee?" "My treat?" "That's okay." "I'm an aspiring actress." "But I get fired from shoots." "They say I'm cheeky." "Your manager must have a hard time." "Who wants a manager?" "I don't want to be typecast or treated like a product." "It depends on the manager." "Yamaguchi always finds me work." "Why don't you act in the movies these days?" "Only celebrities make it into the movies " "I'm not a celebrity." "Just someone who gets mistaken for others." "That means you're a good actor." "A good actor can transform from one character to another." "If you can't transform, you're not a good actor." "That South African one-woman play - the actress plays 35 characters..." "A young white girl, an old black nanny, a cop, a husband..." "She transforms instantly from one to the other." "In the end, the audience is all in tears." "The other grapes are more In season." "I grew up on a vineyard." "Grapes from my hometown are the best in the world." "Grapes for your wife?" "Not too many." ""Hospital"" "I better go." "Give me your number and email?" "I want to go to New York to study acting." "Give me some tips." "Dad!" "Are you okay?" "Please let us through." "Dad?" "Over here, son!" "What?" "What's the matter?" "I'm not a ghost yet!" "Are you... okay?" "Of course!" "Nice grapes." "I'll wash them." "Hiroshi's girlfriend?" "What a beauty!" "Eh... she..." "I'm an actress." "Thanks for looking after my son." "Oh, my God!" "Kenta Matsuzaki?" "Yes." "I read all your plays!" "I love them." "I want to be like the heroine in your plays." "Thank you!" "I'll give you my new play." "Really?" "How wonderful!" "Thank you so much!" "You must be proud to have a father like that." "He'll never cast you in his plays." "Why not?" "Hey, let's have coffee." "No" " I'm busy." "I have an important shoot." "You're kind-hearted." "The way you wash those grapes - so gentle and caring." "15% discount for the green contacts too?" "Eh?" "No." "I'm just a passer-by." "Oh?" "Sorry, man!" "What's so funny?" "You really do get mistaken for others." "How interesting!" "It's not interesting, it's annoying!" "So long." "Your father has my number." "I don't want it." "I work on 4th Street at the convenience store." "See ya!" "Give her a call." "She only wants a role In my dad's play." "Who doesn't?" "After I finish this TV spy series, let's all act in your father's play." "No way." "I can't be In my father's play!" "Don't be stubborn!" "Ask her out, or I will." "Go ahead." "She is having an affair." "But not with me!" "I told you!" "They can't cancel my contract because of this trash!" "Prove your innocence." "Please ask them again." "Impossible." ""Japan Talent Agency"" "Mr. Editor, thanks for messing up my life with these Iles!" "The camera doesn't lie." "What about this caption?" "Great publicity, right?" "No, it's not!" "They cancelled my movie contract because of you." "Make a bigger scandal - You'll be even more famous!" ""Universe Pictures Japan"" "It's free advertisement." "This scandal is perfect for a Woody Allen remake!" "Stop talking nonsense." "But I didn't do it!" "Then go apologize to her husband - MP Kuroiwa." ""Kuroiwa Residence"" "Yes?" "Eh..." "I'm Hiroshi Matsuzaki, the actor." "Can I speak with Mr. Kuroiwa?" "He's away on business." "When is he back?" "Please contact his office." "Hi!" "What are you doing here?" "I'm not stalking you." "I don't have your number." "What about my agency?" "They don't take personal calls." "Right." "Want to come in?" "Incredible!" "When I was small, my parents moved around a lot." "I changed schools often." "But your father's stories - they always encouraged me." "You lived all over the place too." "So you're good at adapting to different surroundings." "That's cute." "How old were you?" "Costume fetish?" "Stop lt." "What about this?" "And this?" "Show me!" "Hi folks!" "Got released a day early." "Interrupting something?" "You could have called." "Let's have some grapes." "I'm glad Hiroshi has a girlfriend." "She's not my girlfriend." "How many pretty girls do you bring home every week?" "Thanks for putting up with my son." "He's a klutz, but he's got a good heart." "The pleasure is mine." "Hiroshi is a great actor." "He's won many acting awards." "That was in school." "Next, he's going to star in a Woody Allen remake." "Really?" "But he has no luck with women." "His ex-wife left him for..." "Dad!" "She was brilliant, but..." "Stop it!" "Had no compassion." "Will you just stop it!" "Relax son." "I'm just making conversation with your girlfriend." "She's not my girlfriend!" "I ran Into her at the station, and she followed me to your hospital." "Sure, tell me about it." "It's true!" "No thanks." "Late for my rehearsal." "Thank you for the grapes." "I told you." "A good actor Is a good actor because he can instantly transform from one character to another." "But It's not always good to be mistaken for someone else." "That's just the way you look at things." "It's a problem only because you think it's a problem." "If you think it's a good thing, then It's a good thing - then your life is full of joy." "With a personality like yours, life is always full of joy." "Not true." "People don't get my sense of humour." "I always end up taking care of weak, dependent guys." "That's because you're strong." "It's no fun being strong." "That's just the way you look at things." "It's a problem only because you think it's a problem." "If you think it's a good thing, then It's a good thing - then your life is full of joy." "That's what I just said!" "Now I get mistaken for you?" "Shut up, you plagiarist!" "You copycat!" "Copycat!" "Look, your bus!" "See you!" "Yeah." "Already home?" "Yeah." "Thanks for today!" "Great seeing you!" "Ask her out on a proper date." "Yeah, right." "Nice house!" "Let me handle this." "Yes?" "I'm Hiroshi Matsuzaki's manager." "May I speak with Mr. Kuroiwa?" "...Mr. Matsuzaki?" "From that tabloid?" "It's a big misunderstanding..." "Damn it!" "I wish his wife would tell the truth..." "This cost $590!" "Why me?" "Love can be a catalyst for losing yourself or re-discovering yourself." ""...would be an honour and a pleasure to see you..."" "No, too formal." ""Dinner, my treat..."" ""Dinner, my treat."" ""Dinner, my treat!"" ""Oh, how lovely!"" "Eh... not with you." "Excuse me." "Forgot to tell you." "Come see my play." "Tuesday, 6:30pm at "Everyone's Theater"." "You want to get Aya's attention, go with another woman." "Like who?" "My ex-wife?" "She says she's free." "Who?" "With this wireless bug," "I can spy on women talking on their cell phones." "Are you nuts?" "I can introduce you to any woman." "No thanks!" "...please, let me go!" "I beg you!" "Come on Aya, get him!" "You took away the lives of men, gave women despair, and starved innocent children." "It's payback time!" ""Wanted for Kidnapping"" "The play was odd... but your acting was great!" "Superb acting, Aya." "Thank you." "My friend Sakura." "Mr. Matsuzaki, the playwright." "Pleased to meet you!" "May I have your autograph?" "Sure." "I'll get changed." "I think she's lost." "Please find her parents." "Walt!" "I don't work here..." "Unbelievable." "The old lady in "Eternally Yours" must be a Scorpion." "No, a Cancer." "Thanks for thinking about my play!" "I'm touched." "I'll buy you drinks!" "Thank you." "Where's Hiroshi?" "Akemi!" "Grandma!" "What are you doing?" "You're her grandmother?" "Who's this, Akemi?" "I don't know." "He gave me chips." "No!" "Never trust a stranger!" "I saw you in the tabloids!" "You're that fugitive!" "Help!" "Somebody!" "Kidnapper!" "Walt!" "I'm not..." "Cheers!" "You were very good!" "I'd love to act In your play!" "Thank you!" "I'd love it!" "Any upcoming projects?" "A Scarlett Johansson-like role for me?" "Let's see..." "Oops." "Gotta go." "Thank you for today!" "You want to read the play I'm writing?" "Can I?" "Sure." "Cheers!" "I told you already." "They mistook me for staff and left me with the girl!" "Don't you love handcuffs?" "Grandma mixed you up with a kidnapper from the tabloids." "An affair with a marled woman?" "!" "Shame on you, son!" "They were roses she forgot." "So pathetic!" "Take it easy, sir." "Stay out of this." "Your luck has to change." "Ask her out on a real date." "What do I say to her " ""Sorry about yesterday." "I spent the night in jail after getting mistaken for a kidnapper, but let's have dinner together"?" "She'll understand." "How?" "I don't understand my own weird life - how can anyone else?" "I'll end up a victim of mistaken identity all my life, unless I clear my name and star in that Woody Allen remake." "That can't be..." "I have to catch the MP's wife in action..." "Hey!" "Let's bug her phone!" "What?" "Let me handle lt." "That's It for today!" "You look like a good tennis player." "Want to join us?" "We're missing a player." "Can I call my friend?" "He's a good tennis player." "She's beautiful!" "She robbed an armoured car and fled to Paraguay." "Really?" "Just kidding." "My wife's a painter." "She's in Paris for her art show." "The wise women in your plays - are they based on your wife?" "Who knows." "I'm thinking of going to New York." "New York is the best city to study acting." "Here." "Can I really read it?" "Of course." "I'd love to cast you in my play." "I'll write you a recommendation for studying abroad." "Eh... really?" "Sure." "Thank you!" "Walt for Hiroshi!" "Umm... no." "I'll call him." "That's okay." "Why not?" "It's not necessary." "No problem." "No thanks." "Let me call him." "No!" "Ouch!" "Hiroshi will be surprised..." "Welcome home!" "What are you doing here?" "Nothing really, I was..." "She did a reading for my play." "I'm writing her a recommendation." "Don't look at me like that." "Walk her home, okay?" "Thank you for today!" "Let's act in your father's play." "He wants to cast us both." "He works too much." "He's so creative - he'll go crazy without working." "I can't act in my dad's play." "I've got my own life - no matter how famous he Is." "What?" "Always want to play a beat cop?" "Think about your father's feelings." "Mind your own business." "It is my business!" "Don't nag at me, stranger!" "Excuse me for being a stranger!" "Excuse me for nagging!" "What was that?" "Already home?" "Be quiet!" "Calm down." "She's a good girl." "Just relax and make up with her." "None of your business!" "Take it easy." "Don't always blame yourself " "Even with your ex-wife, you tried your best." "SHUT UP!" "...still not right." "True, he is the enemy " "You feel anger and want to attack him." "But It's just not convincing." "What's missing here?" "Yes?" "Where's Ms. Yanagawa - the producer?" "Mochizuki!" "What are you doing here?" "You can't be..." "Woody Allen?" "!" "...excuse me." "This is the city library." "A pervert is taking pictures of our visitors..." "Please, right away!" "It's a misunderstanding!" "Reunited again, darling!" "You again!" "Unbelievable!" "Grow up, son!" "When will you stop being mistaken for others?" "Don't worry." "We've arrested that kidnapper." ""Serial Kidnapper Arrested"" "He doesn't look like my son!" "...we paid our rent." "No, that can't be right The number you have called..." "What are you thinking?" "How can an ex-model play Woody Allen?" "He does well at the box-office." "Not with the niche audience for Woody Allen!" "Mochizuki is explosively popular among young demographics, unlike you!" "Of course!" "How can you even compare us " "That's a dishonour to true New Yorkers!" "Go home!" "You're interfering with our business." "Welcome Ms. Jane." "Sorry I couldn't make it to your hotel." "Please come in." "Me and my friends - we all lost money." "That happens with investment." "That was OUR money!" "What are you going to do about it?" "I'll pay you back - one of these days..." "I'm going to lose the apartment!" "You and me, we are done!" "That's it!" "You've got it!" "When you're betrayed by your lover, your first reaction Isn't anger," "It's surprise." "The stronger the love, the bigger the surprise." "Okay, one more time." "Take it from the top." "Use my sofa." "Thanks." "If I hadn't trusted him..." "Don't worry." "You're cast in Mr. Matsuzaki's new play!" "I'm so jealous." "He's writing you a recommendation?" "Fantastic!" "Give It up." "Where did you bury her?" "Cut!" "Checking the gate!" "Better not take that Woody Allen role." "Playing such an effeminate character will hurt your image." "Uncuff him." "Where are you going?" "...he wouldn't hit me he's an MP, my husband..." "I just slipped and fell..." "Hiroshi?" "I did it!" "Good date?" "No!" "I got pictures of the affair!" "I don't look like her lover." "Unbelievable!" "What happened with Aya?" "Who cares about her!" "You had a fight?" "Walt," "I'll call you later." "Hey!" "What are you doing, you pervert cop!" "No, you've got it wrong." "Destroy the pictures!" "No way." "I have to clear my name." "Give me that!" "No!" "Thanks to you, they cancelled my movie contract - a Woody Allen remake." "Woody Allen?" "Yeah." "You're crazy!" "Give it!" "Stop it!" "Officer, please!" "Don't tell my husband!" "Come on, dear." "Beg with me." "Yeah, but..." "Masaru!" "Please, officer!" "Hiroshi?" "What happened?" "Aren't you on a date?" "We are incompatible, she and I." "Incompatible?" "!" "No way!" "I had a fight with her." "A fight?" "Go to her house right now." "Why?" "It's not my fault!" "Just go!" "Take a bouquet of flowers!" "Flowers!" "?" "Why the hell do I have to give her flowers?" "You like her, don't you?" "No, I don't!" "Besides, where can I find flowers In the middle of the night?" "Wherever!" "Just go!" "Mind your own business!" ""Mind my own business"!" "?" "Take it easy, love " "You owe him that ring, don't you?" "You're under arrest!" "You have the right to remain silent." "What's wrong with everyone?" "Who wants flowers?" "Who the hell wants flowers anyway?" "Hey!" "What are you doing?" "That's police vandalism!" "Shut up!" "I'll arrest you for obstruction of justice!" "You are that fake cop." "You've been hanging around the park." "Are you joking?" "I'm going to arrest you!" "Give me back my wife's panties, and my daughter's panties, you pervert!" "He isn't here?" "!" "What happened?" "I told you on the phone." "Your son Isn't here." "Where is he then?" "He's a grown man." "Maybe he's out on a date." "Out on a date In a police uniform?" "I thought you'd be in jail." "Aya is opening my new play as the lead actress." "Hey, you smell good." "Wearing perfume?" "Thanks for looking after me all these years." "Take care!" "Walt," "Matsuzaki." "Matsuzaki!" "Wait!" "They looked so happy together," "I didn't have the heart to report them." "You are a romantic!" "So what if I get mistaken for other people?" "No more agency, no more remake films, no more cop shows, no more spying " "I quit them all." "I'm going to talk to Aya." "I never had an affair." "I was delivering flowers a lady forgot..." "But that tabloid made a mess of it." "Her MP husband got furious... and had the sponsor cancel my movie contract!" "I was so angry I couldn't tell you or my dad." "To clear my name," "I confronted the producer and my rival actor." "I wiretapped that lady's cell phone, tracked them down at the park, and... took pictures of them kissing as evidence." "But when I saw how happy she was with her lover, after being abused by her MP husband - like they were really in love " "I..." "I just didn't have the heart to report them so, I tore up the pictures, quit my agency, and gave up my lead role..." "Please Aya..." "Give me another chance!" "I'll help you go study In New York - get you my dad's recommendation." "Anything you want!" "You klutz!" "Who are you confessing to?" "Eh... to you Aya." "Of course." "Forget the recommendation." "Forget the play." "I don't want to hurt our relationship." "What?" "!" "Why waste your acting talent?" "Why give up studying In New York?" "That's so stupid!" "Excuse me for being stupid!" "I've got my own way of living." "You're so stubborn!" "I'm fed up!" "It didn't work out with her..." "I thought I finally found myself..." "We always end up fighting..." "I only make everyone unhappy..." "It's my fate..." "can't be helped." "At least you had a good fight." "With your ex-wife, you didn't even bother to argue." "...I thought I could never live up to you..." "I blamed you for everything, Dad..." "Even when things went wrong with Aya..." "Sorry..." "You still owe me for the laptop and the window." "Why did you tear this up?" "I need the original photo of the MP's wife's affair." "I'll negotiate with the film producer." "You don't need to do that." "It's your chance to star" "In the Woody Allen remake!" "We need to convince the sponsors." "All of Japan knows that you're a better actor than Mochizuki!" "Forget it." "Don't think about it anymore." "Would you mind?" "I have company." "I told you already!" "Pay up, or I'll call the police." "What's going on?" "He's short $6.30." "Calling the cops for a lousy $6.30?" "Rules are rules." "Is it legal to put up a minor alone?" "Are you a machine?" "Don't you think this is wrong?" "What's this kid to you?" "A total stranger!" "But I'm not closing my eyes to this bullshit!" "How dare you threaten this child for a lousy $6.30!" "You scum bag!" "You're heartless and inflexible!" "Thanks to dopes like you, society's going down the toilet!" "Aren't you ashamed?" "You're an adult!" "An adult!" "Congratulations, Matsuzaki." "Your dreams come true." "You were right - Mochizuki can't play Woody Allen." "Our casting director from the US has cast you as the lead." "Still having that "supporting actor party" tonight?" "You think we'd cancel it because of you?" "Tonight's my treat!" "Really?" "Yeah." "Great party!" "Hiroshi will always be our leader." "Long live the Guild of Supporting Actors!" "...Had fun last night?" "Guild of Supporting Actors?" "I wanted to be an actor when I was young." "But unlike you, I don't have any talent." "I envy you." "Teach me, son." "What?" "Your police costume " "Let me try it on." "I always wanted to try this." "Put your hands up, you're under arrest." "Hold the gun with two hands." "Okay." "Turn around." "Put your hands up." "You're under arrest." "You have the wrong man." "He's innocent!" "Mr. Matsuzaki?" "Ma'am!" "I'm heading to the airport to pick up my wife." "Good day!" "Big news!" ""Rising starlet chosen as the lead for new Woody Allen remake!"" "Congratulations!" "Fantastic!" "Shall I check your contract?" "That's okay." "But..." "you wanted this role..." "No worries." "I just want you to be happy." "Late for your press conference!" "Aya." "Don't forget - your good luck charm." "Hiroshi!" "Come with me!" "What?" "Let's act in the film together." "That's impossible." "You convinced them to cast me as the lead, right?" "So, I convinced Jane to re-cast you as a supporting actor." "I said I'd never act in their film without you." "Help!" "Officer!" "Catch that thief!"