"Caffè lattes." "Cappuccinos." "I hate them, with their balsamic bagels." "None of them actually make anything, apart from £250,000 a year." "And they say they'd do anything to swap places with us." "Would they, bollocks." "Spoilt, pale, podgy maggots waddling up and down Pudding Lane." "They don't have the first idea." "And we're there week after week putting ourselves on the line for them." "I hate them." "I hate them, and my salary wouldn't pay for their baby maggot's school fees." "Tea or coffee, Mr Garvie?" "Tea." "This is very nice, Steve." "You've done well." "It's another world from Hereford." "If I'm not behind bars in Colchester in a couple of days," "I'll be trying to ram The Big Issue down people's throats." "I'm being kicked out." "Pete Twamley too." "Yeah, I heard you slotted a couple of Micks." "I thought you'd get away with a slapped wrist." "Not with the Adams family safely tucked in at Westminster." "No, just out on my arse with nothing to show for 15 years' loyal service." "Hey, Henno, stop." "Relax." "You've come to me because you need work." "I can give you work." "In fact, I have something that will suit both you and me." "And Pete, if he wants a piece." "A nice little earner with Henno Garvie written all over it." "Only problem, it's a bit iffy." "Unofficial." "Like I give a toss." "40K each for three months." "That should sort out your short-term cash-flow problems." "Whatever's happening to the regiment?" "Rebranding, I guess." " Kind of you to turn up, Ricky." " Kind of you to invite me, Dotsy." " What's he doing here?" " Discovered he couldn't swim." "Shit, for real?" " Could we start?" " Without Henno?" "Where's Pete?" "They're gonna be sitting this one out." "Hey?" "Then who's troop leader?" "That's a very good point." "I've got three months..." "Dotsy, he's here." "Right, I'm Red Troop team leader, pro tem." " Oh!" "You what?" " We're on a little surveillance number which could end in quite a tidy firefight." "Where is it?" "It's classified." "You want a court martial or will you just piss off and give us all a break?" "I'll piss off, and bollocks to the lot of you." "Thank you." "Hand in your kit and sign off." "Let's have you out by noon." "Dismissed." "Left turn." "Quick march." "Left turn." "Quick march." "Scope, one number." "Can you manage two?" "Three pairs of night goggles." "Goggles, night, three pair." " Kitting up?" " Yeah." "Nice job, is it?" "Somewhere hot, I hope." " Can't say." " No, course not." "Quite right." " No, I don't know where we're going." " It's confidential." "Scope, one number, totalling two number scopes." " And night goggles, two number." " We asked for three." " Boss." " Tony." "Ops waistcoat, body armour, pressel, holster." "Can you sign it?" " I can't believe..." " Don't worry about it." "Just send us half your salary." "Pressel, vindaloo, helmet, holster." "Lost my ops waistcoat and beret." " Are we not going for a pint?" " Not if you want to get on." "It happens to us all eventually - you're called into the office, thank you very much, now piss off." " Did he say "thank you" to you?" " Yeah." "Not you cos you're crap." "Aye." "That'll be it." "Can you sign me out, Tone?" "Will we have to sell the house?" "I can't see us sticking it out in Hereford." "Hey, there's no rush." "This job'll bring in enough money to tide us over." "Finally made it to the private sector." "Any idea when you'll be back?" "The contract's for 15 weeks but, er, it might stretch out." " Will you be able to phone?" " I don't think so." "Aye..." "You'll be all right, won't you?" "Course." " Mummy, Mummy!" " Mummy!" "For Christ's sakes, can't you see I've sorted all this out?" "!" "You stupid bastards!" "Ah, bollocks." "What's the hurry?" "Hey!" "I'm gonna go to the park, is anybody coming with me?" "I may have to go via the corner shop." " Come on, Daddy!" " I'm comin'." "Oh, sorry, you're eatin'." " Sellin' up?" " Yeah." "Well, er, if you need a hand with the move or anything," " you know, let us know." " I won't but thanks." "Look." "You did it to save me life, yeah," " and now they're kicking you out so..." " And you feel guilty?" "No." "Obligated." " Don't, cos you're not." " Dad?" "Look, I better go." "I appreciate you calling." "It won't be forgotten." " Has he told you where we're going yet?" " Bosnia." "Target" " Glasnovic, wanted in the Hague for war crimes." "The village of Bistra Vakuv." "Not really a village, more of a secured compound, surrounded by farms and various houses." "At any one time he may have as many as 20 full-time militia but the rest of the population is armed as well." " So we're gonna lift him?" " Yes, and this time it's going to happen." "If we can overcome certain hurdles." "Glasnovic never sleeps in the same house for two nights so phase one is surveillance." "Shit." "Henry Garvie." "Henno." " Boban Haradic." " Pete Twamley." "How you doin'?" "Very well, thanks." "This is Masha." "This is where you'll be staying." "And where are those two off to?" "You may have come here to teach us but we are not totally ignorant." "We don't trust you and we probably never will." "He's going to check through your gear and Masha's going to check you." "Put your pants down." "Now, if you don't mind, bend, please." "With pleasure." "You certainly know the quickest way to a man's heart." " What is your name?" " Henno." "Nice to meet you, Henno." "It's as if I've known you for years." "Do you always talk this much when you're embarrassed?" "Yes." "I'm going to X-ray you." "Any metal in you?" "Um, steel plate in my lower jaw, bullet in my left kidney and shrapnel in my thigh and left buttock." " Any of those from us?" " No." "Shame." "Take your shirt off." "Any trouble with the dogs?" "And the handover was OK?" "Yeah." "Alex and Johnny are in our hide." "Hello!" "Did anyone else notice Henno and Twamley turn up?" "!" " We did." " Remember Steve Flint?" "Left the regiment and set up a private security operation." "Glasnovic approached him, asking for ex-regiment or para personnel to train up his militia in bodyguarding and weapons." "Ml5 got wind and gave it to us." "The CO had to discipline Henno and Pete anyway." " So they haven't been sacked?" " They have." "But the word got round and the Irish feel justice has been done." "And Flint and Glasnovic believe they've got two disgruntled old buggers." " Henno and Pete will be reinstated." " And we couldn't be trusted, right?" "If the slightest hint that they were still operational got out they'd have a 9mm in the back of their heads." "Even their wives think they've been kicked out." "On the subject of Haradic, we've got plenty of evidence against Glasnovic but none on Haradic, and actually, he's the bigger butcher." "When we lift Glasnovic, if we do, there will be no objection if Haradic is collaterally damaged." "'lt's widely known that Haradic is a murderer 'but we can't make anything stick in the Hague." "'He's meticulous about killing informants, 'wiped out a whole village of women and children, killing every witness.'" "Sorry about all this, gentlemen." "Would you like to come and eat?" "Sure." "Oh, yes, I'm afraid we had to rip the boots apart." " We'll fix you up with some new ones." " Cheers." "I, er, hope you washed your hands." " Need boots?" " Yes, please." "Here." "When you eat you help yourself, OK?" "Thank you." " Dead man's shoes." " Yeah." "My husband's." "He was your size." "In boots, at least." " I'm sorry about your husband." " Why?" "You didn't kill him." "No, but, er... well, he had a good woman and now he's lost her." "Yeah." "You're right." "Mr Garvie, Savo Glasnovic." "Pleased to meet you." " Mr Twamley." " Nice to meet you." "Sit down, please, enjoy your food." "We are grateful you have come to help." "We are very grateful for the work." "Gentlemen, good evening." "Sorry." "Ricky, you do that again, I'm gonna have to kill you cos you're posing a serious risk to my safety." "Nobody ever died of fart inhalation." "If a dog got wind of that he'll be up here to see where the dead cow is." "We'll both do weapons training then Pete will cover bodyguarding while I cover communications and take a strategic look at things." "I really like the idea of having three Glasnovics." "You noticed that?" " Yeah." " We actually have more." "But one is on holiday and the other one says he's getting rash from stick-on moustache." "I got the idea from Saddam Hussein." "This one is crazy." "Yeah?" " Four or five Glasnovics?" " Uh-huh." "That makes our job impossible." "None of them spend more than one night in a house." "We can't make the lift with any certainty we've got him." "If we hit a lookalike we'll be the ones doing 20 years in the Dutch prison." "We may have to scrub this." "Yeah?" "And how do we get Henno and Twamley out?" "They're weak here... and here." "What about over here?" " You want food?" " No, thanks, I'm not hungry." "I am." " Can I offer you a drink?" " Yeah." "Men, they're all the same." " What's this?" " It's a strategic review of the village." " Working out the best way to protect it." " Oh, they'll come, sooner or later." "Savo can't keep them away forever." "Ohh..." "I don't care." "You want me, huh?" "I want you." "Er, no." "Glasnovic cares what the world thinks." "He have some people from television come on Thursday." " What sort of television people?" " Swedish television." " What for?" " An interview with Glasnovic." "He wants to tell the world that we are not animals." "But they won't believe him." "And I don't care." "Neither do you." "You're above all this, huh?" "Here for the money, eh?" " Masha..." " What?" "I'm ugly for you?" "You're not ugly." "You're beautiful." " Mm." " Very beautiful." "But you're also very sad." "Then make me happy again." "All right." "Sorry, Pete." "Did I hurt you?" "No, I just need a piss." "Takes a while to get used to the cabbage soup." "You." "Quite a plan they've sent." "We'll stick to Henno's time frame." "It's very precise." "Hey, if he thinks it'll work I'll go along with that." "It'll take time to confirm clearance on these." "Step out of the vehicle, please." "Leave the keys in, my men will take care of it." "Apologies to Swedish television." "This way, please." "I can only hold them for 24 hours." "More would be stretching it." "Thank you, sir." "Well, obviously, I'm the girl." "You'll need a nose job." "And implants." " You can't see her tits." " No, they're for my benefit." " I'll have to have my hair cut." " Jamie's the best lookalike." " The man's five inches taller." " Nobody checks the height." " Got any Swedish?" " No." "You?" "No, but I know how their camera works." "I did a BBC training course and played cameraman at the royal bash in India." " But you look nothing like him." " Jamie always gets to..." "Has anyone got any Swedish?" "Jag talar svenska även om jag inte ser svensk ut." "Right." "Jem, give Jamie a rundown on camera operation." "Mick, Alex, fit the camera up with a locator transmitter." "Ricky, give them four hours' intensive Swedish coaching - names, age, please, thank you." "And let's pray Glasnovic's men don't speak Swedish." "Let's move." "Minimi." "Very nice." "From the Dutch UN." "They tried to set up camp in the valley." "We told them to piss off and they did, leaving half their weapons behind." "Very kind." "It's armed." " Need a hand with that, Principessa?" " Piss off, Jem." " First firefight." "Don't worry, they love it." "They do, they love it." "What's up?" "Nothing." " Right, camera sorted?" " Yeah." "Transmitter's inside the battery." "Transmits when you press "record"." "A bit Heath Family Robinson but it should work." " What?" " Hi." " Hi." " You are?" " Sophie Hansson." "You?" " You don't need to know." "And you?" " Ulf-Pedder Gyllenkrok." " That's a mouthful." " It means "golden crook" like for sheep." " I see." " Could I have a look at your papers?" " We also have to check you over." " Of course." "Are you searching her or tickling her?" "Wrists, elbows, armpits... neck, hair, breasts, under breasts, waist, backside... and, number one miss - crotch." "Thighs, back of knees, ankles, shoes." "Thank you, madam." "If you're business-like there's no offence taken." "There's no need to practise on her, have a go at Ulf." "Sir, if you don't mind..." "We'd better get on." "Where are you doing the interview?" "In the back." "We are starting at two." "We'll take them up to the top of the valley so we won't disturb you." "Come on, boys." "You speak such perfect English." "So do you." "Red One Alpha, confirmation." "Red Seven, roger that." "We have reading too." "Roger that." "Move in to FMPs and await second signal." "'Red Four, roger.'" "Total shite!" "All right, put all your ammunition on the ground." "For the rest of this exercise never put more than four rounds into your magazine!" "The AK is an excellent weapon." "It's reliable, accurate and robust." "And can be used by any moron, which makes it ideal for you lot." " But... if you hear someone firing off more than four rounds in succession you know you're up against a muppet." "Muppet Show." " Um, Kermit, Miss Piggy..." " Never mind." "This - bang-bang-bang-bang." "Good." "On target." "This - bang-bang-bang- bang-bang-bang-bang... and we are shooting the birds." "So... four rounds only." "Please." " Miss Hansson." " Hello." " A great pleasure." " Thank you." " Shall we begin?" " Yes." "Would you mind sitting here?" "Ready?" "Target on site at... 14:04." "Move into final positions and stand by." "We go on 14:08." " Take lead from Red One Echo." " 'Have that." "Moving into position.'" "Anyone who doesn't like America is a terrorist and anyone America pays to impose their foreign policy is a freedom fighter." " I thought you were a journalist." " Hm?" "I thought you were a journalist." "I am." "What is the problem?" "Where are the difficult questions?" "You are the first journalist to speak to me and you haven't any questions?" "I was just starting slowly to get you off your guard." "You want a difficult question?" "What about the massacre in Gournia?" "Not that difficult." "Dude." "Pete, grab one." "All right, put your weapons on the ground!" "By the end of the week I want you all to be able to do this, up and down!" "Pete - ready, go." "One." "Two." "'Three.'" " Four..." " - 'Five.'" " Hey." "'Six.'" " The Serbs are the furthest east..." " Seven." "...the furthest from Western Europe..." " 'Eight.' ...and from your so-called civilisation." " 'Nine.'" "I understand what you mean." "Ten." "And back." " 'Ten.'" " The winner writes the history books." "'Nine.'" "Eight." "Seven." "'Six." "'Five." " 'Four.'" " The truth about Serbia" " will be written when we get our victory." " 'Three.'" "Two." "One!" "Stop!" "Don't!" "Hey!" "OK, OK, OK." "See?" "They love it, they do, they love it." "Nice move." "Can't fault it." "Bastards!" "Don't follow us." "Get the message?" "One move and you're all dead." "Get the truck!" "Come on, let's get out of here!" "Get on the ground!" "Put the weapon down, for Christ's sake!" "Man down!" "Man down!" "Go, go!" "Cover!" "Leave him!" "We've got to get out of here, now!" "Come on, Henno!" "Go on!" "You guys go!" "Go!" "Go!" "I'll get these two!" "Ta ra!" "Go, go, go, go, go!" "Pete!" "Pete, listen to me!" "We're gonna get you to a medic but you are gonna have to work!" "You're gonna have to work with me!" "Not promising." "Sneaking off?" "Got a bit of business to attend to." "Not going funny on us, are you?" "Know what I mean?" "Lads'll take a dim view of you if you don't show for the warm-down tonight." "I've created a monster." "I'll be there." " You see?" "He is here." " I'll call you back." " I don't have much time." "Thanks, Ellen." "You'll put me out of business!" " The Bosnian connection..." " Was illegal." "Your business is dead and you're off to prison." "Unless..." "I say you were in it with us, in which case you'll get a knighthood." "What are you saying?" " It's gonna cost you." " What?" "40 grand I want paying for the job." "You kidnapped one client and killed the other one!" " You got half up front, 20 for each of us." " No." " Bollocks!" " They never gave me a penny!" "All right." "Deal's off." "Henno, wait." "Why's everyone pissing off?" " Not staying for tonight?" " No." " When you coming back?" " I'm not." "I'm leaving." "I've spoken to the CO." "I don't wanna play any more." "Jamie, everyone having a beer and laughing while Pete's..." " I don't get it." " It's just dealing with it, you know that." "No, I don't." "Jamie, I..." "I can't handle it." "I don't enjoy it." "I thought I was just scared but it's..." "I won't knock it because I know your feelings and I know what this troop means to you but..." "I'll give you this reason." "May not be the entire reason but it'll have to do for you." "Sam died." "Mum and Dad don't have another son." "Every time I'm in danger I can't disregard it like the rest of you." " What would my mum do?" " I understand." " How Pete kept going..." " So you're going?" "Yeah." "Not good, eh?" "No." "Not good." "How are the kids?" "All right." "They're with my mum." "She's been stood by for this for 17 years." "I think she's almost relieved." "What is it?" " Well, you know it was a private job?" " Yeah." "Well, we got paid." "What?" "Well, you know, taxis, takeaways." "Should take care of things." "Henry, however much is there?" "40 grand." "That's a hell of a lot of takeaway." "To be honest..." "I really don't want it." "I don't want it either." "Look, take it." "Please." "You know it was my fault." "I don't care." " An error of judgement." " I don't care." "Dempsey said you went back under fire to get Pete out." "Another error of judgement." "Will they be at the pub tonight?" "Yeah." "Will you take me?" "Sure." " Tell the others." " Yeah, I will." "If they notice you've gone." "You didn't fail, Alex." "Don't ever think that." "It takes a lot of guts to do what you're doing." "I couldn't do it." "You would." "If you had somewhere else to go." " This is a pretty crappy party." " We were waiting for you to arrive." "All right?" "Mick, sort a table out." "Jamie, order double of everything." "Ricky, sort the scoff out." " Hey." " Hiya." " How's Alex?" " He made the right choice." " It wasn't what he wanted." " But it's what you want?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I love it." "I do." "I love it." "I like you, you know that." "Yeah." "I was getting that impression." " Ma'am." " Ma'am." "We're about to do the toasts." "Look, what with Pete, and Alex leaving, it can unsettle the troop so keep an eye on people for me tonight." " All right?" " Yeah." "Good." "Oi, it's Glasno-thingy." " Yeah, Glasnovic." " Glasnovic." "Right, is that all of us?" "Pretty much, yeah." "Ladies and gentlemen, please raise your glasses." " To Pete." " Pete." " To Pete." " And as usual, Pete's lovely wife is here," "Mrs Twamley, so the next toast is..." "Mrs Twamley." " Mrs T." " Mrs Twamley." " That's enough, we're not Americans." " Ooh!" "Hey." " What's up?" " I don't know." "Nothing." "First one's always a bit off." "You know what?" "I quite enjoyed it." " Yeah?" " Hey!" "Looks like we got ourselves a psycho, just like Pete." "Pete would be my choice for Psycho Number One for this team." "I would've nominated Henno." "Yeah, he's unemotional, bloodless..." "I'm quite sensitive, really." " He likes rabbits." " And using moisturiser."