"Tomorrow night is the one-year anniversary of our first date." "I have something special planned." "He promised it would be a night I'd remember forever." "Are you thinking the "one other thing" is what I'm thinking it is?" "I'm sorry, but that special surprise is off." "What?" "You can't show Night of the Living Dead in November." " That was your special surprise?" " Yeah, got you, right?" "We are not going to get together." "Lavon would break my kneecaps." "I'm going to wear you down, George Tucker." " Good morning." " What you reading?" " A medical journal." " Mm." "Sounds hot." " Hmm." " Tell me more about it." "Well, it turns out that high blood glucose levels are tied to dementia." "Mmm." "(giggles)" "(blowing kazoo)" " What is happening?" "!" " Congratulations!" "You two are now officially the longest guests at the Whippoorwill Blossom." " Breakfast is on the house." " Dash. (laughs)" "Oh... well..." "We are both honored and humbled by the magnitude of our achievement, but, you know, we've been over this before, the whole knocking thing." "It's really simple." "You just... you ball your fist, and go like this." "Well, I..." "I think it might be time for us to find our own place." "Oh, but looking for a house to rent is such a hassle." "And this place is so comfy." "(laughs)" "(camera shutter clicks)" "(gasps) What?" "Just a photo for the brochure." "(Dash chuckles)" "Please, resume canoodling!" "(door shuts)" "Let's start looking this afternoon." "Man, we got so many Lincolns, old Jeff Davis gonna be rolling over in his grave." "I must say, Wade Kinsella, we've become quite the team." "We have grown 20% this quarter." "I know just what to do with the extra dough." " Okay, enough with the go-go dancers." " No." "We need a radio ad with a jingle." "It could play all over this state." "We could bring more tourists in." "Wade, that is a great idea." "Good, 'cause I've actually already been working on a loose version." "The only problem is, there's not a lot of positive words that rhyme with "jammer."" "Basically, "hammer," "slammer," "stammer..."" " Okay." "You'll think of something." " Who's your partner?" "That's me. (whoops) That's me." "Ooh-wee." "When you are finished dancing, you might want to tend to the kitchen." "Shanetta's started another fire." "What?" "(coughing)" "(sighs)" "A.B.!" "You're back?" "I was about to have Sheriff Bill get a posse together to come look for you." "I told you, I was visiting my sister." "True, but... any time anyone says they're excited to hang out with family," "I assume it's like one of those hostage video statements." "Nope." "No off-screen gunmen, just..." "Visiting my sister." " Is everything okay with you and Lavon?" " Yeah, why?" "Well, he just said that he's going to a bachelor party this weekend in Vegas with NFL buddies and that you're fine with it." " I am." "Why wouldn't I be?" " I don't know." "Bachelor party." "Vegas." "NFL buddies." "Vegas." " Ladies." " Hi." "Did you know that you have the coolest girlfriend?" "It's true." "He does." "This is about the bachelor party, isn't it?" "Well, don't worry about it." "I'm thinking about bailing on the whole thing." "What?" "Why?" "Those guys get pretty wild." "I mean, the schedule is all..." "club, another club, strip club, steal a tiger from Mike Tyson, repeat." "Not my thing." "It should be your thing." "At least for this weekend." "I'll see you Sunday night." "I have to get to work, okay?" "Okay, I..." "I may be wrong, but did A.B. just hand me a stack of ones and say, "Enjoy the strip clubs"?" "You're a lucky man." " Oh!" " George." " Hey." " Haven't seen you in days." "How are your goods?" "Still damaged?" "Uh... no, the goods, they're... good." "Um... oh!" "Uh, before I forget, I have something for you." "You left this on my houseboat and I know the LSATs are coming up, so I thought you might need it." "Well, thank you." " Was there something else?" " No." "Have a good day." "George, how long have you had this, anyway?" "You could've dropped this book off at my front door anytime." "Or in my mailbox." "Or left it with Lavon." "Yeah, I could've done that." "But then you wouldn't have had the excuse to talk to me, right?" "(coughs) No, Lynly." "I... mmm." "I'm not looking for an excuse to talk to you." " Okay?" " If you say so, George." "But..." "ZOE:" "Come on, Babs." "There has to be a house that's a little nicer." " Less... infested." " Well, turnover in bluebell is low." "You gotta wait for the right property to come along." "Like a good man." "Sometimes it takes a long..." "Long..." "Long, long time." "Hey, Ernie Cooper's old house is for rent?" "This place is great." "No, this one's not for you." "Oh, no." "I've done house calls here before." "This place is amazing." " Of course it's for us." " Oh!" "Look at the light in that study." "Look, honey, the owner might not rent to you." "I'm the town doctor." "Who wouldn't rent to me?" " Winifred Wilkes." " Wilkes." "As in..." "Harley Wilkes?" " My dead father?" " Winifred was Harley's first cousin." "Hey!" "You're related." "Family discount." "There's a small, tiny, eensy chance it could go the other way." " How eensy?" " 100%." "Kitchen's running slow again." "You want to come back here and say that to my face?" "No." "Oh, my gosh!" "What is Edward doing here?" "Quick, go get the good silver." "And I mean the clean stuff." "Hurry, hurry." "Edward." "The owner of Fancie's doesn't patronize our humble restaurant every day." " To what do we owe the honor?" " I'm here to see you." "Oh." "Little ol' me?" "Why?" "I am so impressed with what you have done to this place, Lemon." "Thanks to you, the Rammer Jammer has become a destination." "You clearly have a gift for the restaurant business." "(laughs) Thank you, Edward." "I realize that you are otherwise committed, but I was wondering if you might consider a new challenge." " Well, what are you talking about?" " It is time I retire." "And I can't think of a single person I'd rather sell Fancie's to." "Oh..." "Wow, th..." "that's so sweet." "I'm-I'm honored." "I mean, Fancie's is..." "Well, I mean, it's the best restaurant in the entire area." "Uh, but... um..." "I'm happy here." "You are not going to believe this." " She's missing an earring." " What?" "She insists on wearing those cheap feather things in her ears." " When did you have it last?" " I think I was dicing the slaw." "Huh." "Okay, no one eat the coleslaw." "We'll get you more, on the house." "Um, all I ask is, uh, you think about it." "So when you told me about coming down here and discovering the identity of your real father," "I just assumed that you left out all the aunts and uncles and stuff to keep the story tight." "No, I just..." "I met the one Wilkes, Aunt Maureen." "She smelled like mothballs, was spooky, and tried to make me a Belle." "And no one else ever reached out to you?" "I may have been invited to a few barbeques." "You may have?" "Okay, they invited me to a bunch of stuff." "But I was busy starting a practice, and I was... busy." "You know?" "So eventually, the Evites stopped." "The Wilkes are strangers." "You don't talk to strangers." "Families are hard and expensive." "As proven by my therapy bills." "We don't need a house that bad." "Mm." "Maybe you feel if you reach out to this family, they will hurt you, like your dad." "The doctor." "The undead one." " I'm not scared." "I'm smart." " Yes, but what if the Wilkes are amazing?" "What if they're warm and fun?" "You know, people to have holidays with and Sunday barbeques." "What if they're cold and boring?" "And they shoot what they're gonna eat for Sunday barbeques, and one Sunday, that could be us." " Think I'll take my chances." " Great." " Be my guest." "Just leave me out of it." " Come on, Zoe." "Look, one phone call." "No!" "I don't want to talk about this anymore." "Okay?" "As a matter of fact, let's just eat the rest of our lunch in silence." "Okay." "Is that an... earring in your coleslaw?" "(car horn honks)" "(seagulls calling)" "(birds singing)" "Season 3, Episode 6 "Family Tradition"" "Hey." "Is it true that Theresa quit?" " Yeah." " Why?" "We just hired her." "Well, we shouldn't have." "She's crazy." "I mean, she flipped out on me this morning." "This morning?" "(sniffs)" "Wade." "You slept with her?" "Why can you not separate your business from your pleasure?" "Calm down, all right?" "Business is booming, and as it happens, so too is my pleasure." "You should be thanking me." "I did us a favor." " Oh, a favor?" " Mm-hmm." " Really?" " Yeah." "The game is tomorrow, we have a crowd of people coming, and no second bartender." "Good news is, this jingle's going great." " Let me..." " Wade." "This isn't funny, okay?" "Things need to change around here." "There's just too much..." "incompetence." "Whoa." "Who crawled up your skirt and died, sister?" "Hey, guys, the health inspector just called." "Apparently, someone told him about Shanette's earring." "And he might make a pop-in so I was thinking maybe we should do something about that weird smell in the kitchen." "Yeah." "Does smell pretty bad." "Ha!" "Fine." " I will take care of it." " All right." "Cool." "Okay." "Twice in two days." "Let me guess: you found something else to return to me, so you followed me in here." "No, actually, I'm just in here to pick up my lunch, so..." "That old story." "Hey, Wade." "You seem to know how to have a good time." "Well, I do try my best." "I've got a tragically empty social calendar and I'm looking to fill it." " Any ideas?" " Uh... you know how to work a beer tap?" "Don't you just pull the lever, fill the mug?" "Well, that's the easy part." "Tricky part is doing that while fending off advances from awkward dudes." "I've had plenty of practice." "(clears throat)" "All right, then." "I'll see you tomorrow." " Will do, Wade." " Here you go, George." "Oh, thank you." "Kickoff's at 7:00, George." "I'm sure I'll see you when your TV magically breaks." "(bell on door tinkles)" "Emergency!" "We have an emergency here!" "Dr. Hart, listen: this one ran the other one over." "Patty, Prizzi, what happened?" " I was just backing up." " I stopped to pick up her soda can." "What kind of person just litters like that?" "She bent down." "I didn't see here." "BOTH:" "She shouldn't have been..." " ...driving!" " ...down there!" " She's compulsive." " She's blind." "This just proves my point:" "family is dangerous." "These two are certifiable." "What'd you just say about my sister?" "I'm gonna smash your face in." "No one talks that way about a Pritchett!" "Ladies, listen, I'm sure she didn't mean anything." " I wanna go to Brick." " I agree." "(clears throat)" "It wasn't your fault." "You were just looking out the window." "It wasn't your fault." "You were just looking out for my lawn." " I'm sorry!" " I'm sorry!" "BILL:" "Isn't that sweet?" "Family." "That's it?" "This one runs the other one over and you just forgive each other?" "It's just like they say in our favorite movie..." "Dolphin Tale." "BOTH:" "Family is forever." "Dolphin Tale?" " Mm-hmm." " Mm-hmm." "AnnaBeth, you here?" "No, no, no, this ain't happening!" "Lavon, what are you doing here?" "Well, I decided not to go to Vegas because I had this weird feeling." "And now I know the weird feeling's on account of a guy with giant feet!" "Who belongs to those shoes?" " Let me explain." " MAN:" "AnnaBeth?" "Lavon, you remember my father." "The size 14?" "(chuckles)" " Mayor Hayes." " Mr. Thibodaux." "It turns out my parents are visiting for the weekend." "48-hour shore leave from their retirement cruise." "Fun!" "Sweetie, why does the mayor have a key to your place?" "Is it one of those "key to the city" keys?" "'Cause I thought those were larger..." "And decorative." "Uh, uh..." "Interesting question." "We're dating!" "Surprise!" "The two of you?" "You and Mayor Hayes, you're-you're..." "You're dating?" "Yes, indeed." "Well, excuse me." "I've just got to call your mother." "Wha...?" "I can't believe your parents don't know we're dating?" "!" "Is that why you wanted me out of town?" "Lavon, I..." "Yes." "Is this about what I think it's about?" "Some people are just so set in their ways in the South." "We'd like to think that we've changed, but..." "Football." "We are not a post-rival America!" "My family is Auburn royalty." "And you're 'Bama through and through." "Well, what were you gonna do, keep the secret forever?" "I was waiting for their cruise to be over before telling them." "I didn't want to take the chance that one of them would jump overboard." "Oh, don't hate me." "Everything's gonna be all right now." "We'll just help them get to know the real Lavon Hayes." "Yeah." "I'll make food for everybody tomorrow." " We'll bond over barbecue." " That sounds brilliant!" "By brilliant, you mean we have no other options?" "Yep." "ZOE (voice breaking):" "This movie, Frank?" "It's incredible!" "It's about a dolphin who loses its tail, so they build it a new one, but it can't live in the ocean anymore, Frank, so they have to put it in an aquarium, and the struggle to save Winter's life," "it brings everyone together:" "the mom and the kid and Harry Connick." "Because family is forever, Frank!" "Family is forever." "It is a popular rental." "Look, um, could I ask you something?" "You need to ask me, Frank the pharmacist, or me..." "Frank, Dixie Stop PI?" "Just out of curiosity, you know, how hard would it be if, say" "I wanted to get in touch with the Wilkes clan?" "Do they all live near each other?" "Is there a patriarch or a matriarch?" " Do they bowl?" " That's a softball." "Everybody in the Wilkes family's gonna be at a birthday party in Lillian tomorrow." "Tomorrow?" "I'm gonna need to renew this." "(music playing on video)" "Oh, again?" "The dolphins?" "Really?" "I mean, did you get any sleep?" "Joel, I figured it out." "I want the barbecues and the holidays." "I want someone to forgive me if I hit them with my car." "Family is forever." "(music stops)" "It's time to meet the Wilkes." "That's great!" "I'm really proud of you." "How you want to do this?" "You want to, like, I don't know, invite one or two of 'em over for dinner?" "No." "We're going to Lillian to crash an eight-year-old's birthday party." "Gonna meet them all at once." "Okay." "I love it, I love it." "We'll just... jump right in." "We're gonna hurdle." "We'll be sweet and charming, and they'll all fall in love with me at once, right?" "Yeah, yeah, of course." "Why wouldn't they?" " Maybe we should bring a present." " A humongous present." "Hey, Lemon." "Is everything okay?" "George, um, great." "Can I talk to you for a minute?" "In confidence?" "Attorney-client privilege?" "Yes, but technically, I can't be your attorney unless I collect fees." "(clears throat) Attorney-client privilege it is." "What's up?" "Edward offered to sell me Fancie's." "And you know how much I love Fancie's." "I mean, ever since we were young, A.B. and I used to play Fancie's." "We would dress up our stuffed animals, we would feed them the finest cuisine." "Fancie's does seem a lot more up your alley, but aren't you and Wade doing really well here?" "You guys are this unlikely super team." "(chuckles)" "Are you sure you want to mess up what's already working?" "You know what, you're right." "I'm just, I'm having a bad day." "It'll go away." "All right, well, you need anything else, just call me." " Thanks." " All right." "Yeah, so, uh, we need to hire a new fish delivery person, and maybe not one of the female persuasion this time." "All right, let me grab this for you." "Okay." "(exhales sharply)" "(doorbell rings)" "Okay, it's just a 120-year-long rivalry between the two of the greatest football powerhouses in the South." "That's right." "No reason we can't put it to bed with a plate of baby back ribs and our charming dispositions." "Mm!" "(both sigh)" "Go..." "'Bama!" "(parents laugh)" "Uh, Gerald, Dorrie, um, am I dreaming, or are y'all wearing my beloved Alabama jerseys?" "And... they got your number on the back!" "I'll call Dr. Hart." "They've obviously had some sort of brain trauma." "Oh, sweetheart!" "Isn't she delightfully hilarious?" "We don't care about some silly old football feud." "We love Lavon Hayes!" " Oh!" " You are family now!" "(chuckles) Well, this is easier than anticipated." "(laughs)" "Hey, how about a tour of the Mayor's mansion?" " Whoo!" " Yeah." "(both laugh)" "Mom, what is going on?" "!" "We're just trying to be supportive of you, honey." "We want this to work;" "you dating the Lavon Hayes." "We could be in-laws to the mayor!" "In-laws?" "!" "He has not proposed!" "We know." "Your father and I called your sister last night." "She filled us in on your little love saga." "Men just need a little nudge in the right direction sometimes." "No-no-no-no!" "There will be no nudging." "Trust us." "We know what we're doing." "Now I want to see this house." "Uh... hey." "(chattering)" "On second thought, this is a big jump." "Jumping without forethought, that's how you break your legs, your arms." "I need my arms." "Zoe, Zoe, no-no-no." "You can't back out now." "We can do this." "We totally belong here." "You know, we'll just tell them who you are, that you came to mend fences, and celebrate the future generations." "Yeah, that's gonna work, right?" "Yeah, totally." "Plus we brought a great gift." "That we left in the car." "I'll be right back." "Wait, Joel, don't leave!" "Be right back, right back." "Well, hello!" "I didn't think you were coming!" "What?" "!" "You're-you're glad to see me?" "I'm thrilled!" "The party planner said the entertainer's car broke down, but here you are." "You're the party entertainment, right?" "Oh, no, no, I'm not." "Oh." "Then why are you here?" "I know you're family." "I'm not the entertainment..." "He is!" "This is the Great Joel-ini!" "He's a magician!" "A magician?" "A magician?" "!" "I freaked out, okay?" "It's actually a great idea." "'Cause now we can feel them out, see what kind of family they are, are they crazy, are they clingy?" "Yeah, that's great, except there's one small problem, I'm not a magician!" " I've seen you do card tricks." " I know two card tricks!" "They are entertaining, but that doesn't qualify me as entertainment." "You're the one who wanted me to have a family." "Let me win them over with my winning personality." "But before I do that I need to get them really drunk." " I..." " Please?" "Well, this is not exactly the way" "I would have gone about it, but dating you is certainly never boring." "I will go find a deck of cards." "(laughs)" "A magician who didn't come with his own hat." "Oh, yeah, well he just graduated magician school." " So this is his big break." " It's quite a venue for it, too." "Everybody knows that the journey from the six-year-old party circuit to the cover of Magician's Monthly is short." " Right." "So you are a Wilkes?" " Vivian Wilkes, birthday boy's mom." "Oh, wow." "Congratulations." "It seems like you have a very large family." "Oh, yes." "The Wilkes come out in droves for birthdays, holidays, funerals." "We're kind of loyal like that." "Much like a herd of elephants." " Sounds a little oppressive." " Oh, it can be." "But, you know, family." "I don't know how I'd get by without knowing that they will be here for me no matter what." "I get that." "Have you seen Dolphin Tale?" "This must be the birthday boy?" "Yep." "Somebody is eight today." " Wow..." " Say hello, Harley." " Pleased to meet you." " Pleased to meet you." "Oh!" " He is so cute." " Thank you." " Yeah!" " And to think we were worried everyone wasn't gonna get along." "How awesome is this?" "So... so awesome." "This barbecue sauce is amazing." "You must be a wizard in the kitchen." " A wizard!" " Oh, he is." "A regular Harry Potter." "Of the kitchen." "You know, our little BananaBeth is a culinary genius herself." "BananaBeth?" "Of-of course." "I have the happiest taste buds in bluebell." "You know, Lavon, I can tell you from experience that a wife's cooking is one of the main ingredients in the recipe that is a long and loving... (AnnaBeth whoops)" "Look at the time." "Y'all have to hit the open waters tomorrow." "Probably should rest up before you get back on the ship." "Well, hell, it's not like we're rowing the damn thing." "(laughing) Oh, no." "Matter of fact, isn't there a 'Bama game on right now?" " Well, I'm-I'm recording it for later." " Let's turn it on, son." "Roll Tide!" "(whoops)" "LAVON:" "All right." "After you." "(sighs)" "All right, Harley, what do you think happened to your card?" "Wait, is it under your shoe?" "Let's see is it under your shoe?" "No, no, I mean..." "Is it under your armpit there?" "Let me see." "Other armpit." "Let me see, let me see." "Oh, gosh." "I guess it must be gone." "Unless it's, uh..." "Behind your ear." "Whoa!" "(kids clapping)" "And that is Christie over there." "She is a hoot." "She hate-reads a new romance novel every day, and then she just won't shut up about how awful the writing is." "Oh, and this is Brando." " Ooh." " He's my grandpa." "My real name is Vernon." "They call me Brando because of my incredible Marlon Brando impersonation." "(imitating Marlon Brando):" "I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse." "Stella!" "I know." " It's uncanny." " Oh." " That was..." " Terrible!" "Sometimes he recites the whole script for Don Juan DeMarco." "His Johnny Depp impression actually sounds more like Brando than his Brando." "Hey." "Oh, and this is my sister, Winnie." "I'm sorry, I don't know your name." "Oh, it's..." "Chloe." " Nice to meet you." " So glad you guys arrived." "The kids were getting restless." "And my cousin Bobby's boyfriend offered to do balloon animals." "But he could only make snakes." "So it's a good thing you guys came when you did." "Do you perform, too?" "Oh, no, I'm here more in the advisory capacity." "Hi, hi." " Hi." " Hi." " Hey." "Okay." "So, I've done the two card tricks I know in as many permutations as possible." "But if I do them again, the kids might mutiny." "We need some new ideas." " Okay, I got you covered." " Thank you." "Hey, Vivian?" "Do you have any shaving cream?" "The chicken paillard is one of my favorite dishes as well." "Ah, it was superb." "I mean, this place, it's superb." "It always has been." "No, uh, earrings in the coleslaw." "No one's sleeping with the help." "No fires in the kitchen." "Edward, I belong here." " I would like to buy Fancie's." " I am very, very happy to hear that." "But after you said no earlier, I was approached by another buyer." "I regret having to press, but..." "I need your offer by tonight." "Tonight?" "Okay, well, then, tonight it is." " I will do my best." " Wonderful." "TV ANNOUNCER:" "Alabama goes up-tempo." "Eddy Lacy with the carry." "Man, that is one sweet hurry-up offense your guys are running there." "You know, when you set aside the rivalry, you can really appreciate the artistry." "My head might literally explode." "Oh, you will never guess who I heard from last week." "Jake's mother." "LAVON:" "Jake?" "As in A.B.'s ex-husband, Jake?" " No, no, no, do not take the bait." " Yes, and get this." "Apparently Jakey's been asking about A.B., says that he is sorry for what happened." "Says that he is a changed man." "Well, if there's anything I learned from being mayor, it's that saying and doing are two different things." "So true." "The words of a man of action." "Hmm, speaking of action." "Let's watch some Alabama football since we all love the Crimson Tide." "I think all your mother's saying is that AnnaBeth is in high demand." "Oh, for the love of God." "Oh, my God, did you see that call?" "The refs are totally in the Tide's pocket." "It's just like you always say, Daddy." "Alabama pays off the refs." " Just like in the 2009 Iron Bowl." " Hold on, now." "Now, I-I do not say that." "I'm totally over that crushing, corrupt, criminal..." "Now, Gerald." "You just watch your blood pressure, honey." "This is getting way too heated for me." "I insist that we watch the rest of the game in absolute silence." "Pushed... short." "We used to do this at the children's ward in the hospital. (clears throat)" " Where I used to volunteer at." " Oh, my gosh, so..." "You're a good person." "Whoa, we need a good person around here." "We're just a bunch of boozing, TV-watching, heathens." " Oh, believe me, so are we." "Mm-hmm." " Oh, very much so." "This is so fun!" " Thanks!" " Yeah, sure." "Oh, God save us..." "Ned's brought out the karaoke machine." "MAN:" "♪ At the county fair... ♪" "♪ Threw out my shoulder but I won her ♪" "♪ That teddy bear ♪" "♪ She got me saying sugar pie ♪" "♪ Honey, darling and dear ♪" "♪ I ain't seen the Braves play ♪" "♪ A game all year... ♪" "Oh, no." "You two are not getting away with this one." "When at a Wilkes party." " When at a Wilkes party." " Oh..." "Oh, w-wait a minute." "Oh, no, we're dancing." "♪ I love it, I want some more of it... ♪" "Oh, hey!" " I know you." " Ah, yeah." " I'm a big fan of yours." " Oh, my gosh, this is amazing." "They are amazing." "I love them, and they love me." "Well, that's great." "I mean, they're great and you're great." " It makes perfect sense." " Yeah." " I'm gonna tell them who I am." " Perfect, you should." "Right after this dance." "♪ But I like it, I love it ♪" "♪ I want some more of it. ♪" "(all cheering)" "TV ANNOUNCER:" "Touchdown!" "Thank you, George Tucker." " You just earned me ten bucks." " Uh, how is that?" "I bet Big Sam here you'd randomly stop by before halftime." "That was five bucks." "I got the extra five when you started to stare all moony-eyed at me." "Uh, well you might want to hold on to your money there, Big Sam." "'Cause I'm just here to enjoy the game." "Mingle with some fellow fans." "And these eyes..." "Not moony." "Is that so?" "Trust me." "Hey, there." "Uh, I'm sorry, have we met?" "I'm George." "I know who you are." " Excuse me..." " Well, how-how is that fair..." "Exactly?" "I mean..." "You know who I am and I know nothing about you." "I-I say we go somewhere and-and remedy that injustice immediately." " How about you?" " Sure." " I like that, I like that." " Okay, but just..." "Oh, hey, Lemon!" "I think Tom and I struck pay dirt." "All right, ready and go!" "♪ Are you hungry or just thirsty ♪" "♪ Or just looking for some fun ♪" "♪ Come to the Rammer Jammer ♪" "♪ Alabama's number one. ♪" "♪ Rammer... ♪ No, it's ♪ Rammer... ♪" " Wade, uh..." " ♪ Ram..." "Ram... ♪" "Can I speak to you for a moment please?" " In private." " Yeah." "It's ♪ Rammer Jammer... ♪" "If you don't like it, I have other ideas." "I just need to come up with something that rhymes with chicken fried steak." "I have an idea." "What if instead of buying a radio ad, we use the surplus money to expand?" "To build a-a better, higher-end Rammer Jammer, say, at Fancie's?" "I mean, we could even keep the name." " What are you talking about?" " I spoke to Edward, and he is selling." "And he's willing to let us in on the ground floor if we make an offer tonight." "What?" "No." "I hate Fancie's." "I hate the name." "I hate all that pretentious food." "I like the simple things, all right?" "I like foods you can pronounce in one syllable." "Eggs, grits, uh, slaw." "And the Rammer Jammer is the only place I ever wanted to run." "Owning a joint like this has been my dream since forever." "But it hasn't been mine." "And I..." "I think that I need a change." "Wh-What are you saying?" "Wade, working with you has been amazing." "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" "Are...?" "Are you giving me a compliment sandwich?" "I invented the compliment sandwich, lady." " What?" "I just wanted to..." " Tell me that you want to buy Fancie's." "All right, go ahead, buy it." "But you're doing it on your own." "I'm gonna take that surplus cash, I'm gonna buy you out." "Thanks." "Well, good luck, Lemon." "And, you know, not that you will, but if you need a jingle," "I can help you come up with some rhymes for Fancie's." "It's not gonna be easy though." " ♪ Rammer Jammer, Ram... ♪" " Jingle's off, Tom." "Aw, man!" "(crowd cheering)" "Well, that one's Most Promising Freshman." "Well, you certainly lived up to that promise," "Mr. Big Fancy Mayor." "Can't even run to the little girls' room without you two hijacking my boyfriend." "What'd I miss?" "Please say nothing." "I was just telling your parents that, uh, despite all these trophies, being mayor of bluebell is the highlight of my career." "As it should be." " Now, tell me something, uh, Mr. Mayor." " Yeah." "Do you ever worry about your electability as a single man?" " No, he doesn't." " Uh, do I what now?" "Well, it's a known fact that approval ratings rise for politicians with wives." "And yet Lavon keeps getting elected, so he must be doing something right." "Well, mayor's one thing, but... tell me you don't have your eyes on the bigger prize." "Congressman Hayes." "Governor Hayes." "Oh, I can just see you now with AnnaBeth on your arm, settling into the Governor's mansion." "Oh, I think we're getting ahead of ourselves." "On everything." "GERALD:" "Listen, we have contacts in Montgomery" "I am itching to use... it's the sort of thing you do for family." "That's right." "Oh, for the love of all that is holy, you have to stop." "First of all, I said no nudging." "Second of all that is not a nudge." "You're running him down with a Mack truck with the words" ""Marry AnnaBeth" on the side!" "I am an adult." "Lavon is an adult." "And we will make decisions in our own time." "So..." "Second half?" "Well..." "I think we're gonna pass." " We're getting a little tired." " We'll show ourselves out." "I apologize." "(door opens)" "What?" "(door closes) You got nothing to apologize for." "That's what parents do." "They-they can't understand that two people can be happy just the way they are." "We're in no hurry to-to move to the next step." "A.B.?" "(footsteps depart)" "Hey, fun party." "Oh, thank you." "It was so nice to meet you." " You're-you're great." " Oh, you are, too." "I just, I feel like we have so much in common." " I know." "It's true." " Yeah." "And there's a reason for that." "A great reason." "I'm sorry." "What's happening here?" "Are you hitting on me?" "No." "The reason that we're so much alike... is because we're cousins!" "I'm Zoe Hart." "Harley's daughter." "Yeah!" "I recently moved back to Alabama with Joel, and we've been talking about the future and family, and I just thought it was time." "And you thought the best way to do that was to come here and pretend to be a magician's manager?" "Look, I-I was scared." "I-I should have told you who I was when I first got here." " So I'm sorry." " Don't apologize." "In fact, you probably had the right idea to hide your identity." "I'm fairly certain that nobody here would appreciate your presence." "Excuse me?" "Just because you happen to be in the bloodline doesn't mean you belong." "The way it works with family, Miss Hart, is you get out what you put in." "And you've put in nothing." "To us, you're nothing but the entertainment." " Hey, how'd it go?" " I don't want to talk about it." "Hey, uh, Wade, have you seen Lynly?" "Oh, yeah, she stepped out on break out with some guy." " Big Sam?" " He was pretty big." "Hey, there." "Can I get you a glass of wine or something?" "Uh, you know you're gonna have to start paying for it now." "(chuckles)" "As it turns out, my offer was too low." "Edward has accepted another buyer." "Any chance you'd take me back?" "(sighs) Lemon..." "Look, it's been a ride, and I've loved almost every minute of it." "But you and me, we want different things in the world." "Yeah, I suppose that's true." "Still, I'd take you back in a second if you could tell me that this place, with its fish guts and the missing earrings and my particular proclivities was gonna be enough for you." "But I don't suspect that's the case, is it?" "(sighs)" "I'm so confused, Wade." "It's like I don't know where I belong in the world anymore." "I mean..." "I love it here, but I don't belong." "I still feel like I'm just visiting." "Like I'm in limbo." "Maybe somewhere between Fancie's and the Rammer Jammer I will find my home." "You keep looking." "You'll find a place that makes you happy." "I know it." "I've never been more sure of anything." "Thank you." "You are a good friend." "Probably the best one that I've got." "Right back at you, lady." "And you know, don't worry about the wine, all right?" "You'll always drink for free here." "Especially 'cause nobody likes this crap you got from Napa anyway." "(laughs)" "(grunts) Lynly?" "Wow, that took you, like, ten whole minutes." "Lynly, what's going on?" "I thought you were out here with, uh..." "Big Sam?" "I told Wade that to see if you'd get all jealous..." "And to win five more dollars." " Yeah, knew that." "I knew that." " No, you didn't." "George, you say you want me to stay away from you." " So why can't you stay away from me?" " Oh, right now?" "Uh, because I was worried that you might be..." "What?" "Be having a good time?" "Need someone to look after me?" "You are acting like my boyfriend, but without any of the benefits." "Lynly, I don't..." "George, look me in the eye and tell me you don't want to kiss me." "That has never been the issue here." "Then what are you waiting for?" "No." "See?" "This is a bad idea." "There are worse ones out there." "Okay, well, I don't want you to get hurt." "And I do not want to get hurt again myself." "I'll be your Band-Aid if you'll be mine." "Bet you feel better already." "♪ ♪" "This isn't really about your parents, is it?" "Halloween night, you said you had something special planned?" "I might have jumped to a premature conclusion." "You thought I was gonna propose?" "In retrospect, I sort of get that." "And since then, it's like a switch flipped on in my brain, and I haven't stopped thinking about where we stand." "It's not fair to you, I know, but I feel like I wasted a lot of time on Jake, and I don't want to waste any more." "But I love you." "And things have been going great..." "Haven't they?" "Yes, of course." "They've been so great..." "But I'm ready for more." "I don't need to know where we're heading." "I just need to know we're on the same path." "And this isn't an ultimatum, but what I need to know is..." "If or when there comes a time that you aren't on that path with me, you need to tell me." "Okay?" "And I love you, too, but..." "I think I'm gonna stay at my place tonight." "Hey." "Okay, so I just watched, like, a dozen card trick videos online." "I am this close to going pro." "Listen." "Hey." "I'm sorry that I pressured you into reaching out to your family." " I just, I want you to be happy." " It's not your fault." "It's totally mine." "I just didn't realize how much I wanted it." "But seeing how they loved each other, it just hurts knowing that I can't be a part of it." "Well, you don't know what the future holds." "You know, maybe the Wilkes will come around." "Probably with pitchforks." "(both chuckle)" "Maybe." "I kind of hope so." "Well, until then, you'll just have to contend with me and my big overbearing family." " Yeah." " Or actually, as a matter of fact, I was thinking of inviting Grandma Sylvie down here for Hanukkah." " She would love BlueBell." " Wow, Grandma Sylvie?" "Yeah, yeah." "And maybe we can invite your mom and your dad, too!" "What?" "!" "No." " I'm kidding!" "I'm just kidding" " Oh, my God." "(laughs) ...about your parents, but not about Sylvie." "Grandma Sylvie's definitely coming." " Hmm." " Hey, now, um, I'll have you know that I convinced Dash to buy" "(whispers): "Do Not Disturb" signs to hang on the door." " Now that is your best trick yet." " Mm... (both chuckle)" "Oh, excuse me." "(Zoe gasps)" "I brought y'all a couple of signs." " You could pick which ones you want." " Thank you, Dash." " I really appreciate that." " Certainly." "We just, uh, we're gonna..." " I'll just leave 'em right here, okay?" " Yeah, that would be great." "Anything else I can do for you lovebirds?" "No, no, that's fine." "You just have..." " All right, then." "See you later." " Thank you very much." "Ta-da!" "I made him disappear." "You know, I know some magic, too." "Why don't you come here so I can show you?" "Yeah." "(both chuckle)" "Thank you."