"[girls whimpering]" "[girls grunting]" "[moans] [sobbing]" "[somber instrumental music]" "[birds squawking] [birds chirping]" "[coughing]" "[rain pattering]" "[thunder rumbling]" " Ian, please!" "Could you just calm down?" " He did not know I took the car." "He will be absolutely fucking furious." " Your dad doesn't have to find out." "We can come back and get it tomorrow when we have the keys!" " Fuck!" "Don't even think for half a second you're going to break open that car, mate." "So get out of my face." "[keys jingling]" "What are you fucking looking at?" "Stop looking at my girlfriend, midget!" " Ian, please!" " You want to fucky-fucky her?" "No way in hell, 'cause let me tell you, there's only one guy who fucks her, and I fuck her real good, so go home and fuck mom now, you demented dwarf!" "[gunshot] [screaming] [gunshots] [screaming] [groaning] [screams]" "[crowbar clatters]" "[panting]" "No, please!" "Please, no!" "[screaming]" "No, please!" "Please, plea..." "Don't!" "Ian!" "[coughing]" "[engine revving]" "[tires squealing] [brakes screech]" "[wheezing and coughing]" "[inhaler hisses]" "[audio rewinding]" "[no audio]" "[breathing deeply]" "[moans]" " Hey, I hope you're not time-wasting, you." "I've got a dozen people waiting to look at this place, most of them paying cash as well." "You got cash?" "Right, the light switch is somewhere here I think." "[giggling]" " Hey, come on, let's get this fucking lease signed, hey?" "[thunder booming] [electricity crackles] [thunder rumbling]" "[inhaler hisses]" "[coughing]" "[screaming]" "[grunting] [electricity crackles] [screaming]" "[cell phone ringing]" "[phone keypad beeping]" " Hi, this is Marc from USA Actors Management regarding your audition request for our clients" "Miss Williams and Mr. Kitamura from Human Centipede." "Neither is available for the auditions in London right now because they're shooting a movie, but thank you for the interest." "Maybe We can do something in the future." "Good-bye." "[baby crying]" " Stop them tears." "You're just making Daddy's Willy harder." "[baby continues crying] [floorboard creaking] [electricity crackles] [crying STOPS] [insect buzzing] [clock ticking]" "[sniffs]" "Oh, my God." "Have you shit yourself again?" "You swine." "I've called Dr. Sebring, and he's waiting." "Get up!" "[pots clanging]" "[door creaks]" "[sighs]" "Hello, Martin." "[moans]" "[squealing]" "[chuckles]" "Mmm." "Martin... come and join us." "Well.." "Martin, I have your Ventolin." "Martin, I'm here today because your mother is very worried about you." " He keeps on talking about a centipede with 12 people." "What does that mean?" " Now, let's see." "A centipede can be considered a phallic symbol." "Centipedes are very aggressive creatures." "Their bite can be very painful." "Maybe he is connecting the pain that a centipede inflicts with the pain inflicted on him through years of psychological and sexual abuse by his father." " I miss my husband." "And it's your fault that he's in prison!" " Sometimes people that are mentally challenged and have a history of sexual abuse... mutilate their own sexual organs." "I'm sorry." "I going to have to go." "There's nothing to worry about." "I'm sure it's just a passing phase." "Hmm?" "Martin." "Ah." "You're a good boy." "Mrs. Lomax." " I've decided to kill us both." "[bass music thumping]" "♫" "This music is driving me crazy!" "I can't stand this any more!" "[knocking at door]" "He can't stand it any more!" "Come on, tell him." "Be a man like your father." " Stop fucking bothering me, you retard." "I play my fucking music as loud as I fucking want, okay?" " Kill us both." "I'm begging you." " Shut your fucking mouth, you old cunt." "What the fuck?" "[screaming]" " I will play my music so fucking loud, it's going to make your fucking ears bleed you cock-sucking dwarf." "Next time, you batter that fucking ceiling," "I'm gonna come down and break your fucking neck," "Fuck!" "Fucking little cocksucker." "Don't fucking bang that fucking ceiling any-fucking-more, okay?" "You cock-sucking retard!" "[zipper unzips] [grunts and sniffles]" " The lips from B and C and the anus of A and B are out circular along the border between skin and mucosa, the mucus cutaneous zone... the circular mucosa and skin parts of anus and mouth from A to B and B to C." "Connecting the pedicellated grafts to the chin-cheek incisions from A to B, connected..." "Ingestion by A passing through B to the excretion of C." "A human centipede... first sequence." "[Woman sobbing on video] [man screaming on video]" "[ominous music]" "♫" " Will you give me a high five when we get there?" "[baby crying]" " Hey." "[tires squealing] [gunshots] [glass shattering] [brakes screech] [woman screaming] [crowbar clanging]" "[baby crying] [woman screaming]" "[whimpering]" " Shh, shh." "[babbling]" "[woman sobbing]" "[coughing]" "[wheezing]" "[inhaler hisses]" "[Whispers] My lead." "My lead." "Hey, man." " [mutters]" " Hey, man." " [muttering] [speaking German]" " [grunting]" " Ja, komm." "[moaning and grunting] [speaking indistinctly]" "Yeah!" "Yeah, come up here." "Come up, oh, yeah!" "Yeah." "Yeah!" "Very good!" "Yeah!" "I did ff!" "' [cackles] [speaking indistinctly] [camera clicks and whirs] [all sobbing] [man speaking Japanese]" "[inhales sharply]" "[moaning]" " Whoo-hoo!" " Why do these stupid things never work?" "[grunting and moaning] [cell phone ringing]" " Oh, Valerie!" "It's that guy from the club!" "[grunts] [sighs]" "[speaking indistinctly]" " Shh!" "There's... [giggling]" "Babe, there's a midget wanking in there." " You are drunk, love." " No, seriously!" "[sobbing]" "[growling]" "[heart beating rapidly]" "[electricity crackles]" "[wheezing]" "[gagging]" "[electricity whirs] [all screaming and moaning]" "[cell phone ringing]" "[phone keypad beeping]" " Hi, this is Arianne from Creative Acting Talent Management." "You called us with an audition request for our client actress Miss Yennie from The Human Centipede." "I just spoke to Miss Yennie, and she is very, very excited and available to fly to London to audition for the new Tarantino film." "Could you please contact me ASAP on my cell phone, 713-499-0913." "Thanks." "B ye-bye." " You can't do this." "It's a film." "The Human Centipede is a fucking film." "He is going to stitch us up." "He is going to stitch us up ass to mouth." "Help!" "Help!" "[baby crying]" " Stop them tears." "You're just making Daddy's Willy harder." "[knife clinks] [plastic rustling]" " What is this?" "100% medically accurate?" "Mouth to anus?" "One digestive system?" "Is this a perverted film you've been talking about?" "[sobbing quietly]" " I want all this filth out of my house!" "[screaming]" "[yelling angrily]" "[coughing]" "[wheezing and coughing]" "[blood gurgling]" "[floorboards creaking] [bass music thumping]" "♫" "[broom handle tapping]" " Fuck!" "[screaming]" "Doh!" "Fuckin' hell!" "Ahhhhh!" "Gahhh!" "[screaming]" "Fuck!" "Oh, fuck!" "[dishes clattering] [bass music thumping]" "♫" "[coughing]" "[inhaler hisses] [exhales sharply]" " [grunting] [speaking Japanese]" " [moaning] [passes gas] [rain pattering]" " Swallow it, bitch." "Swallow up." "[grunting]" " Feed her." "Feed her!" "Ahhh!" "[Woman screaming] [rain pattering]" "[all moaning and grunting]" " That was fucking sensational." "And you know what?" "Yeah." "How you doing, doc?" "[groans]" "Oh, I rather fuck that retarded boy, but...this'll do." " I know a place in Thailand where they specialize in that sort of thing." "Oh, yeah." "Oh, yeah, she's a good one." " How much to fuck you up the arse, darling?" " For you, darling, 50." " Jesus." "Who the fuck are you?" "What the fuck have you done to yourself?" "That's right." "Have a good stare." "Have a good fucking stare, you little fucking pervert!" "Fuck off now before I get out of this car and smash your fucking face in!" "Don't!" "[screaming] [gunshots]" " No, please." "Please!" "[screams]" " Martin?" "Martin, it's me, Dr. Sebring." "So... this is where you work." "This isn't right, Martin." "What you're doing, it's wrong." "Martin, I can help you, but you have to put the gun down." "Imagine what your father would say if... [screaming]" "Martin, Martin, no, Martin!" "[snarling]" "[babbling] [baby crying] [snarls]" "[coughing]" "[whimpering]" "Please." "I'll do anything you want." "Please!" "I won't tell- I won't tell no one nothing." "You fucking... [screaming] [shouting indistinctly] [screaming]" "Someone help me!" "[muffled thumping]" "[cell phone ringing]" "[phone keypad beeping]" " Hi, Martin, this is Arianne, Miss Yennie's manager." "I Wanted to confirm that Miss Yennie is not delayed and will be landing this morning on London's Heathrow Airport at 6:00 am. your time." "I understand your driver will be picking her up." "I hope she does a great audition." "Thanks." "Thanks a lot." "Bye-bye!" " God, I cannot believe I am here auditioning for a Quentin Tarantino film." "My agents are so excited about this." "I should probably call them, tell them I landed and, you know, I'm on my way." "[coughing]" " Have you seen The Human Centipede?" "[Coughs quietly]" " I was really drawn to the film because of the medical aspect of it." "If you were a surgeon, you could actually perform that surgery." "It's just so scary." "It was so grueling being on all fours, so I demanded in my contract that I had to have an hour-long massage every night." "I mean, why would I not demand that in my contract?" "Oh, and the rest of the cast, we all took showers before we shot the centipede stuff, because I mean, you're close to someone's butt, and you don't want to smell anything and... or, you know, whatever." "I'm kind of a germaphobe." "Um... [coughing]" "Oh, that must be Quentin's car." "[sighs] Do you have an umbrella?" "Because this rain will ruin my hair." "Okay." "Oh!" "[people moaning and screaming]" "[shouting indistinctly]" "[woman screaming]" "[shouting indistinctly] [groaning] [sobbing] [sobbing hysterically]" "[eerie music]" "♫" "[electricity crackling] [all screaming] [crowbar thudding]" "[groans] [teeth clinking] [gurgling]" "[sobbing and sniffling]" "[heart beating rapidly]" "[moaning] [groans]" "[moans]" "[screams]" "[whimpering]" "[sobbing]" "[ominous music] [staple gun clicking] [all screaming]" "[wheezing]" "[inhaler hisses]" "♫" "[distorted classical music]" "♫" " Please, please." "Please don't hurt me." "Please." "I'll do everything." "[coughing] [screams]" "[cell phone ringing]" "[phone keypad beeping]" " Hello, this Marc from USA Actors Management again." "Please disregard my earlier message." "Fortunately, Miss Williams and Mr. Kitamura were able to reschedule, and they're really, really excited to come to London for Mr. Tarantino's auditions." "I hope it's still possible." "I'm totally confident that they're gonna do very Well on this, so please call me back as soon as possible at this number to confirm." "Thanks very, very much." "Talk to you soon." "Good-bye." "[screaming]" "[grunting]" "[spitting]" "[spitting]" "[grunts] [shouts]" "[thunder rumbling]" "[all passing gas]" "[giggles]" "[cackling]" "[guffawing] [spitting]" "[coughing]" "[insect buzzing]" "[retching] [coughing] [bums]" "[electricity crackles]" "[door creaks] [screaming]" "[engine sputtering]" " Ah!" "[grunting]" "[baby crying]" "[wailing]" "[growls]" "[snarling] [coughing]" "[gun clicks]" "[grunts]" "[crying]" "[screaming]" "[door creaks]" "[engine revving]" "[Woman sobbing on video]" "[baby crying]" "[crying STOPS] [eerie music]" "♫"