""A Glass of Rage"" "What is wrong with you?" "Did you eat already?" "Later." "It seems like a silent ritual." "The most indifferent I Iooked the most she seems to desire me." "For some moments in the bedroom, we seemed to be like two strangers, that would be observed by someone." "And this someone, was always me and her." "I calmly started taking off my shoes and my socks." "Letting myself barefeet, that one day she compared with two white lily flowers." "Magnificent!" "Magnificent!" "You are special." "I will get up." "Let me go my little "creeper"." "No." "I will not leave you." "My "Cypressus Erectus"." "Even though she was not an examiner in botany subjects." "Even less in the geometry of conifers." "And the few she would dare to know about plants, she would only have learned from me." "And nobody else." "Wash my head." "I have an urge to this." "And her hands penetrated my hair." "Rubbing her fingers with energy." "Scratching my skin with her nails." "Scraping the scruff in a way, that made me crazy down my spine." "Ms. Mariana, the breakfast." "Good morning." "The breakfast!" "To hell with your confusion Ms. Mariana." "To hell with your lack of understanding." "Yes." "The same "wide open"bed." "But, to hell for what you think." "What is wrong with you?" "The warmth yesterday wasjust the beginning." "What is going on?" "But, what is going on?" "!" "Damn ants, sons of a bitch!" "Sons of a bitch!" "Sons of a...!" "Sons of a bitch!" "Fuck you, your ants!" "So organized!" "In this fucking exemplar activity!" "And with this damn organization!" "Sons of a bitch!" "Sons of a bitch!" "And her, with her little ass recIined at the car's mudguard." "With an emancipated IittIe-femaIe insoIence." "democratically gossiping like the plebs." "That was one of her favorite ornamentations." "precisely her, that never shows her charms at the laundry room." "Been attended by me in the bed or by the maid in the terrace." "Letting the breakfast on my duty." "When Ms. Mariana is not here." "It's not for that much, young man that uses good sense." "It was easy to see." "Between wide open covers." "The reprehension that she use to bring for not act in bed, with the same passion, that I engage exterminating the ants." "Without counting that her, with an eye on the thermometer's blood, started to calibrate the quicksilver's rational being." "Without suspecting that my good sense at that time was working tirelessly." "Suspecting even less that good sense is never cold and without passion." "And I could, daring, let my judgment loose." "Squeezing until the end the seeds of her sarcasm." "But I didn't say anything." "I didn't say this bit." "I've locked my word." "She didn't have too much." "Only!" "The enough." "Ok, lt is now." "Where is Mr. Antônio?" "Where is Mr. Antônio?" "He's..." "It was an answer." "It was only one answer I needed." ""Tonho" went down there, but he's coming back soon." "He was at the ants'nest and he's coming right away." "He's... I already said that the working time here is from 6:00 until 4:00." "After that I don't want to see you in the house or him in front of my face." "But, until then I don't admit it!" "Are you listening to me!" "And you should tell this to your husband." "Do you understand me?" "How can you transform yourself?" "In a moment you turn into a fascist." "You leave me perplexed!" "But she didn't get into the car, I knew her too well." "She wasn't the kind of person that talks and goes away." "On the contrary." "She's the kind of person that provokes you, on the voracious expectation to take a good slap." "Anyway, I was reached." "Or then, actor, I would only fake the pain that I really felt." "But I decided to accept her challenge." "Pretend that I would fall on her trap." "Sucking up all that I could." "Just like who sucks the breast nipple." "It's not you that's going to teach me how should I treat an employee." "Nobody that is stepped on is wrong to protest against who steps on." "But you need to look to your own claws first!" "The body before the clothes!" "Perplexed!" "I'm not that naive to demand you coherence." "I don't even brag about this." "Fools and tricksters are the ones who claim to serve to one true God!" "After all, delivered beasts from a same tainted womb!" "We all carry filthy contradictions!" "It doesn't even pass through my mind to torture your conflicts, scamp!" "I'm not even going to confound such small things with my manhood!" "I have other reasons to be in rage!" "I'm far away to be interested in foolish things from such a small character." "And even to fall onto your tricks, made by your usualjudgment skills." "Not that I fear your dangerous words." "I also known as sharp as you, to well-aimed, bite with the "teeth" of ideas!" "These are the pieces that set our usual intrigues." "And as fast as I could I went by a tangent." "I went to her confined ground." "I went to an area where she would brag about herself... as a free little-female." "It's there, where l would get her." "Only there I would open a hole in her." "But, this was not what I wanted." "I was inside myself." "And what a mayhem." "I was around with the bellyaches." "With the terrible contortions of a violent congestion." "With things fermented into my "stomach's pan"." "With all the things that existed outside, and that, my ants, little by little carried away." "And they were great loaders." "The sons of a bitch!" "To this they were excellent!" "And the damn insects!" "They have entered by every imaginable place they could." "By my eyes, my nose, my ears!" "By my ear holes specially." "And somebody needed to pay." "Somebody always got to pay, liking it or not." "This is one of life's mystery." "This is the rage's natural support." "Hey, you there!" "Hey, you there, you there, your little shitjournalist!" "Why do you insist in teaching me, your little shitjournalist?" "Why do you insist in teaching me if the few that you have learned of life was from me, from me!" "Oh, honorable master!" "Come here!" "Does it never passed through your intellectual shit-head?" "...does it never passed through your head?" "That all that you say all that you regurgitate is all things that you heard from someone else." "That, nothing that you would say, you would do." "That youjust use to fuck like a maiden." "That, without a push, you are nothing but shit!" "Go on, go on!" "Keep pushing!" "Go on, go on!" "Tell me you're not the hermit that I imagine." "But, that you're full of demons all around yourself." "Go on!" "Say it!" "Would you say it again?" "Demoniacal..." "Listen here, your scamp!" "Listen here!" "Don't you talk about things you don't understand." "Go speak to your press!" "Go there, to teach your lessons, to preach what is fair and what is unfair." "Come on, spill your drop on the torrent of words." "Come on, waste the paper of your newspaper." "But don't you "cross my borders"!" "Oh my God!" "You have such a modesty!" "Such a proclaimed security." "All this big suspicion concerns with your "borders"." "By the way, it's amazing how you keep reflecting yourself in what you say." "Go on, keep the words going." "Keep going, with your portrait." "But come back here later to see your face." "How awful." "Go on, raise a wall, build a fortress protect what is yours in the thickness of a wall." "Don't you take easy conclusions." "That's the plebs conclusion." "You know what you make me think, scamp?" "You make me think of a man that dresses like a woman in the Carnival." "The guy...uses big rubber shells as breasts, draws two red rings on his face." "Still, he increases, with cushions, his butt cheeks." "And walks around, shaking his hips that envy even the most versatile of women." "With such a strong aspect, the guy, even betrayed by the hair on his legs and the hair on his chest, can be more woman than a real one." "And then?" "And then...that it makes me think that dogmatism, caricature and debauch, are things that a lot of times walk together." "And that, the privileged, like you, pretending to be the plebs, seem to me like a carnival's transvestite!" "Every citizen has the clear right to draw two red rings on his face." "To round the tip of their noses in one red ball and to hang around his arm a big and bent piece of wood as a walking stick, and walk around making jokes in a public place!" "I should salute the scamp." "I didn't have her talent." "My cynicism wouldn't get that far." "Faking indifference?" "Like this, so close to the fire." "Give laughters in the edge of the sacrifice?" "!" "For a moment a quick blank swept my head." "Suddenly I felt my legs amputated." "I fell into a total immobility." "Be tranquil, scamp." "People like you have a function." "Be tranquil, smarty." "People like you have a function too." "Crossing your arms you would be conniving." "But now I see that this isn't much." "Like us, you will bejudged." "I didn't ask your opinion." "Tojudge what I say, what I do, I have my own tribunals." "I don't commit this to others." "I don't recognize in nobody nobody, a moral quality to measure my acts!" "I was only thirteen when I lost my father." "I never covered myself in grief or suffer any felling of abandon." "I wouldn't be looking, now, for a new fatherhood!" "It would be needed to recover my history, not to be an orphan anymore." "I have to salute you for your bravery." "Only you, can be at the same time, orphan and grizzled." "I said and I repeat that I would need to recover my history.... ..not to be an orphan anymore." "I know that's impossible, but this will be the prime condition." "Grizzled!" "There was a time, were I saw, acquaintance as possible." "There was a time, were I consent a contract." "There was a time in which I recognized such scandalous existence of imaginable values." "Spinal column of all orders." "But I didn't have even the necessary blow." "And denied the breath." "Was imposed to me the choke." "That's the conscience that frees me." "That's "her" that pushes me." "Now, my concerns have changed." "My universe of problems have changed." "Hey, wait a minute!" "Mr. Antônio!" "Provide the entire nestlings vaccination." "In a heedless world." "Definitely out of focus." "Soon or later everything is reduced to one point of view." "And you, that is so helpful to the human sciences, don't even suspect that you are helpful to ajoke." "It's impossible to order the world of values." "Nobody can settle the devil's house!" "Demoniacal... I refuse to think in something I don't believe." "In love, in family, the church, humanity." "I don't give a damn to this!" "It scares me, still, the existence." "But, I'm not scared of being alone." "I consciously chose the exile." "Being enough to me, today, the cynicism of the big unconcerned." "He's already, in his metaphysics again." "The speculative." "Oh, get a life, this is all past." "There's no way, your bureaucrat." "But, I can not resist to this register." "It's important." "It was hard to learn how to transform in grace the stigma that I carry." "I feel now my hands powerfully free to act." "This is the illumination that can be revealed to the excluded." "I had an insight!" "I think I finished the puzzle." "I found out, finally what is the true occupation of our odd-jobber." "Besides, only now I lose my senses with your transactions." "All the clues to your character take me to conclude that you're nothing but a trickster...a scoundrel a falsifier." "But not like any falsifier." "Sure, that a graduated...falsifier." "Today, I fell free." "And rather preferring the bundle of an engagement than the bundle of freedom." "I didn't have a choice..." "I was chosen." "I can't be careless, that he soon takes off with the words." "I don't respond for absolutely nothing." "I no longer own my steps." "I wander by a large narrow road." "Everything that I do is to put an eye at the police officer at the corner." "and the other in to clandestine orgies." "Oh, come on, stop with this solemn crap, get down to your place." "Understand, your stratospheric." "That this ascent is way to easy." "What really counts in life is the quality of the diving." "Don't come around with destiny, ensign, karma, scars, stigma, a branding iron." "All this paraphernalia that you baptize as history." "If our metaphysician... would see, that in the world's madness only exists rational solutions." "It doesn't matter, if there are limited solutions." "What matter is that, it'll be in its time, the best." "What really counts is to look forward." "You can also, push the history with friendly killer hands." "Besides, your highly levels of aspiration, your fool perfectionist pride, had to end up in this, isn't it?" "In the authoritarian talk of a worthless iconoclast." "The old monkey at the dishware house." "Speaking, above all things, in this tragic tone." "Back off, carcass!" "And she, taxed my performance as cathartic." "Word with a terrific demolisher power." "And that by the imprudent use or by the abuse transformed the own scamp's brain, into a nuclear mushroom!" "But then again I came back up." "Equating a tropical algebra, burning, like in its source." "Blood and sand." "I've already said that, the border was once my torment." "Now the border is my grace!" "Repulsing when I wanted to take part." "To hell with the world!" "Fall cities, suffer people, cease life and freedom." "When the ivory king is in danger, what matters the flesh, the bones of sisters of mothers, of children!" "Nothing weights in the soul that far away children are dying!" "It's serious, he completely lost his mind!" "That everything comes down!" "I will be turned back!" "Delinquent!" "It's easy to predict your future!" "Besides a cheap littlejournalist, you brightly fill the requirements, as a member of the policewoman." "Besides, in the abuse of power, I don't see any difference, between an editor in chief and a police officer." "Like the rest, it's no difference, between ajournal owner and the government owner." "But it's not with me solemn delinquent." "But to the people that some day you shall pay!" "Think scamp, think!" "Just once, in this evidence." "Even it's odd to your folklore." "Even that the discipline into your ears, is not so useful to so much dissonance!" "The people..." "Will never make to the power!" "It wouldn't be to them that I should pay it some day." "Nutty, now you really lost your mind!" "Offended and humiliated." "The people is, and will always be, the mass of the ruled!" "They also say foolish things that you praise!" "Without seeing that the people talk and think." "Following the approval of who dominates them." "But don't you worry, scamp." "You will get there." "Mounted, sure, in a usurped riot." "A second-hand riot." "As for this delinquent." "I only say... that nobody directs... the one that God corrupts." "Who knows what can still come from this trance." "I don't accept even the pigpen that is there." "Neither another order that is seated." "Look here scamp." "I have balls." "I don't recognize any power." ""Hosana", here comes the "tough guy"." "Narcissus, always distant and fragile sprout of anarchism." "Understand scamp, every order privileges." "Understand delinquent, the disorder also privileges." "To start, with brutal force." "Brutal force, without surrounding, without legitimate laws." "I'm talking about thejungle laws." "But, that doesn't give it's place to hypocrisy." "So dress a breechcloth." "Or don't dress anything, your Gorilla." "I excuse an exhortation!" "Stay there, in the circle of your light!" "And leave me here in my intense darkness." "It's not from today that I wallow in darkness." "Gorilla!" "Differently from the good samaritans I don't love the next." "I don't even know what is this." "I don't like people!" "I assume the entire evil." "I assume." "There's so much evil in wickedness, as it is in holiness." "And then scamp, if I can't be loved." "I will be fully pleased in being hated." "With no access to reason..." "He now, ridiculously resurrects as Lucifer." "Sound and fury." "You're nothing but a sub-product of obscure passions." "And all this confusion, obsessively untwisted, isjust needed to confirm old suspects." "Here in my head." "Moral aberration it's always a breed of not confessed aberrations." "It can only be there, the explanation to your caprices. lsn't?" "Besides the fear that I provoke you as an acting woman." "And, to this arrogant contemplative exile of yours." "It's all clear now." "Expelled away by the collective conscience, that never tolerates the weak." "It could only be this your destiny." "To live in a hiding place with someone of your own kind." "Lucifer and his dog "Hydrophobus"." "Oh, look!" "One, shutting holes at the fence." "The other in guard." "Both caring for a confined privacy." "To then after, between scratches and little lickings, make a good use with the snoot of your clandestine orgies." "It makes me sick!" "If me, corrupted, me, the enemy of the plebs, me, the irrational, me, the delirium...the madness." "Me, the passionate." "Burn me, tongue of fire!" "Yes, yes, me the convulsive fuse." "Me, the disorder's spark." "Me, the perpetual heat." "Me, the flames that ruses!" "Transform me bonfire in thy burning coal." "Me, the acquainted manipulator of the trident!" "Me, who cooks in a enormous sulphur boiler!" "Me, licking my lips, with the tender flesh of the children!" "Fire, violent and so sweet!" "Yes, yes, me me the cyst, the fester, the sore, the ulcer, the tumor, the wound." "Me, all this without irony, and many more..." "But that doesn't make the hungry of the people." "The disguise of its own appetite." "You know that I don't give a shit to your talk, and it'sjust for a principle o hygiene, that I don't wipe my ass on your humanism." "I've already said that I have other life and another importance, your dwarfish." "And definitely it is not for your little head." "I felt as if I shocked a pair of her bones." "The hit was right in the middle." "But, the scamp's agility was amazing." "Seeing that words didn't fit anymore in the battle, the dwarfish even irritated, more than quickly caught on my "rocket's tail"." "Starting to incite me to the catch." "Hey little man, magnificent in all." "Big fascist!" "I confess, sometimes I turn into a fascist!" "I do and I know that I did." "But you do too and without knowing that you did." "Because today there's nothing more fashionable than be a fascist in the name of reason." "So, I should conclude, that our confessed fascist, is the best if compared to me." "No, not at all!" "If by one side it regains itself." "The confession also discharge." "More than never..." "I can act like a fascist!" "What is this?" "is this a threat?" "is it?" "Your delinquent!" "Types like you slobber for one boot!" "Types like you slobber for one claw!" "What is the matter?" "Do you think I'm into hitting you, stupid." "Faggot." "Bitch!" "Bitch!" "I knew her well, lt didn't matter the quality of the beating." "She would never have plenty." "Only the enough!" "It was clear in that moment, that I had the pendulum  and the secure control of its movement." "And right here, I thought with myself:" " "Wait there, that you will pay."" " "Wait there, and still, you will pay."" "In an instant I was the bed's crook." "Yes..." "You are the dirty one that I love." "Dirty!" "Dirty!" "You've never, imagined before, that in your body was, such a right place for this finger." "While I penetrated you and you moaned." "Dirty!" "Go on, put all your demons over me!" "It's only with them that I reach pleasure." "Do you remember?" "Of the foot that I gave you one day?" "What did you do with the foot that I gave you one day?" "Love!" "Love!" "Did you see how many things did you learned with me?" "Yes love...yes." "Why do you insist so much in teaching me?" "Forget it, love." "Forget it." "Be careful on thy judgments." "Put in them a little bit of this ardent substance." "Sure, love...sure!" "It was clear in that moment, that I definitively had my claws on her, and that I could subvert, beneath my forge, the supposed severity of its logic." "Who is the absolutely "tough guy" of your mud?" "You love...you!" "Only uses the reason who on it, incorporate its passions." "Oh, my dirty love!" "My dirty love!" "My dirty love!" "Take it!" "Take the other." "Pull off the toe!" "And stick it between the legs!" "It's "he", who messed with your clit!" "Come on, son of a whore!" "Cut the toe, while it's time!" "It's the only thing I'll leave you." "Never, anything else from my body." "Anything!" "Anything!" "You're not human!" "You're not human!" "Get out of my life!" " Get out of my life!" " You're not human!" " You're a monster!" " Get out!" "Go, damned!" " Go on!" "fuck you, scamp!" " l am afraid of you!" " Afraid!" " Fuck you!" "Disguised little fascist!" "Daughter of the big pig!" "Degenerated scum!" " Get away from me!" " Go away!" "Go, damned!" "Leave me alone!" "Limp!" "Go away, go!" "Damned, go!" "Go!" "Son of a bitch, everybody!" "Fuck you all!" "Fuck you all!" "Fuck you all!" "And, with this, I was putting to the outside the lungs, the prey, and the stomach." "while seeing, surprised and shaken, my insides out." "I stayed there for a while." "still." "Looking to the ground like a hanged man." "The body tangled, in the webs of fraud." "Torn apart in the bowels, by the action of the acid." "An actor in raw flesh." "In absolute solitude." "Surrounded by a noise of blood and voices." "Surrounded also, by the most remote graveIs." "It was in childhood." "I didn't have a doubt that was located the world of ideas finished, perfect, incontestabIe." "And that, now in my confusion, it wouldn't catch a glimpse through memory." "Even if it comes written in the reverse of all of them." "That guilt makes a better man." "The guilt is one of the engines of the world." "At the same time that you truly believe, that the words impregnated of values, each one would bring in its pocket, a original sin." "Like, behind each gesture, always would hide...a passion." "The love is the only reason of life." "The love is the only reason of life." "You sir can not forget to go by the rabbit warrens before you go to São Paulo." "I'm perplexed with Quiteria's nest." "The "girl" had thirteen in the first breed." "Thirteen!" "Who would say so?" "And the father, that rascal, the rabbit Pitoco." "So old and stills procreating." "Perplexed!" "Perplexed!" "When I got in to his house," "I found strange, that the gate was still open." "'Cause the frontier afternoon, was already coming." "And when I got out of the car, there at the bottom of the stair, a note, in where it was written:" " "l'm in the bedroom"." "A message right in his style." "Brief, wasted away by the calculus." "Written, still, with an intention, in a forged school handwriting." "The bedroom door was found wide-open." "Which could seem more as a sign." "Redundant." "Almost ostensive that he was, expecting me." "Though, the expedient would be used before to remind me, that I, even late, would always come." "incapable of refusing him ...the rewards of the visit." "And I in fact climbed the platform in the top." "Detaining myself there for a moment." "But, soon entering the room." "My cell." "According to a rough commentary that he made one day." "Mixing in this stoicism, monastic and dissolute things." "VacantIy looking to a tranquil candle light." "Laid on his flank." "He was sleeping." "It wasn't the first time, that he pretended this child's dream." "Neither was the first time that I would give myself in to his whims." "But I was suddenly seized by a virulent vertigo of tenderness." "So sudden and unsuspected that barely contained the impulse to entirely open myself and premature... to take back that enormous fetus." "To Julieta"