"Don't mourn for Joe Strombel." "Joe Strombel had a full life." "A newspaper man in the best tradition and great credit to the Fourth Estate." "It didn't matter if the bombs of the war zone were falling, it didn't matter how high up the political scandal went, or how many big corporations or small-time racketeers leaned on him." "Whatever the risk, if there was a story there," "Joe went after it." "And he usually got it." "Well, I was with him when the story broke about Prince Charles, and that made him persona non grata with the royal family." "Except with Diana." "They always remained good friends." "Yeah." " He did love a woman." "You know, he started as a police reporter." "Yeah." "He was a bloody good one, one of the best." "I mean, the best." "We got trapped with Joe once in Afghanistan." "Now, we were going to be shot any moment by the Taliban, until, typically, Joe found someone to bribe." "So we could escape." "Nobody's own money though." "No, he got it on expenses." "That's not the same." "But it did involve us getting out wearing burkas." "But we lived through right another day." "Everyone loved him." " Yeah." "Not always the British intelligence." "He got the information before anyone else." "Yeah, he did." "About Richard Nixon, ah?" "Well, wherever you are now, Joe:" "We won't be the same without you, mate." "To Joe." " To Joe Strombel." "Where are we headed?" "Does... does this mean anything to you?" "He doesn't give answers." "Tried it." "Joe Strombel." "Coronary thrombosis." "Jane Cook." "So, what do you do?" "Reporter." "You?" "I'm, uh..." "I was personal secretary to Peter Lyman, Lord Lyman's son." "Yeah, impressive young man." "You knew him?" " No, only by reputation, but I liked what I knew of him." "He's got a real future in politics." "How did you die?" "I think I was poisoned." "You think?" "Why?" "I believe I was poisoned because I was on the verge of confirming a terrible suspicion." "Yes?" "What suspicion is that?" "That Peter Lyman is the serial killer known to the police as the "Tarot card killer"." "What?" "I see you're aware of that case." "Yeah, I wrote an article 2 years ago, when the Tarot killings first started." "But Peter Lyman?" "My God, I wouldn't..." "Whatever made you suspect this rich, handsome, above reproach citizen?" "You remember the last murder?" "The police found a clue." "Yes, cuff link." "I read about it in the paper." "Unusually antique, wasn't it?" "Yeah, very rare Art déco." "Peter had the exact pair." "So could have the Tarot killer." "World is full of coincidences." "Yeah, except I noticed Peter had only one left." "He'd lost the other." "Still --although it's a tantalizing thought-- did you inform the police or was that too sticky?" "I didn't know what to do." "So I phoned my lawyer and asked his advice on whether to report it or not." "And I thought I heard this click on the phone, like someone had been listening." "Later that day after tea, I died suddenly." "That is suspicious." "My God." "Peter Lyman." "Hard to believe that if he did turn out to be the Tarot killer." "What a story!" "I knew you'd appreciate it when you said you were a reporter." "That would be a dynamite scoop, and I got it first." "Unfortunately, where you're headed there is no first." "There's only last." "Mr Tinsley?" " Yeah?" "Sondra Pransky." "Who?" "Sondra Pransky!" "I'm the journalism student from Adair." "I wrote you about getting an interview for the school newspaper." "Uhm..." " And you, uh, your secretary actually, because I know how busy you film directors get, but she said I was in London visiting, you would, you know... here I am." "Which is fantastic." "I think I have your letter actually." "See, right now I'm a bit tied up." "Here it is." "This is so great for me." "I mean, you got a huge following in Rochester." "It's very cold there." "With your new movie coming out in fall." "I was wondering if I could just ask you a couple questions." "OK, OK, but you gotta be real quick." "I write for the cultural part of the paper." "I'm looking to move into more serious pieces." "And when you say something more serious, that's...?" "You really wanna know?" "Well, originally I wasn't gonna go to college." "I was gonna become a dental higienist." "Like my sister Beverly." "And don't get me wrong, it's a great profession." "I have very high respect for teeth and gums." "Particularly gums, my whole family's in orthodontics." "But..." "What, you're on vacation here?" "Oh, yes." "I'm very friendly with a very upper-class British family." "Our families vacationed in Palm Beach together." "My mother went to visit Palm Beach, and I became friends with their granddaughter, Vivian..." "She's so wonderful." "She'll stay with us." "Another?" " Oh, thanks." "I slept with him, and I didn't even get the interview." "I mean, what kind of a reporter am I?" "How was the sex?" "Give me all the details." "Who knows?" "I was so drunk I don't even remember." "All I know is that the second it was over, he got a phone call and had to leave suddenly for Thailand." "Thailand?" "Yeah, Justin Richards got fired from some project, and he had to take over." "What difference does it make?" "The point is, I told the whole school I'd get an exclusive with Michael Tinsley." "You're a novice, you're inexperienced, you drank, he's a charming genius." "But you know, you're a very attractive sexy girl." "If you're gonna interview movers and shakers in a hotel room, you better watch out." "Not that I'd mind to roll in the hay with Michael Tinsley." "I put some fresh towels in your bedroom, Sondra." "Thank you, Mrs Thompson." "Come, sweetheart." "Chop chop, you're gonna be late." "The point is, I didn't get the story." "I mean, if I'd use my feminine mazzel, like Katharine Hepburn o Rosalind Russell." " Oh, come on." "We'll go have lunch at the Ivy, and then we'll take my little brother to see that show he's so excited about, and then we'll go have party tonight." "There'll be loads of gorgeous guys there." "And you always say the only men you meet are complete losers." "So you blew the story." "That's not life or death." "Ladies and Gentlemen, prepare yourself for the astonishing magic of Splendini!" "Thank you, Ladies and Gentlemen, you're an incredible audience." "I mean that sincerely." "I say it from the bottom of my heart." "You know, every time I come to London, this great city, I always get a sincere sensation." "Because you're marvelous people, beautiful humans." "And for my next experiment, -- an experiment, not a trick " "I need a volunteer." "So if you'd step out and find someone for me..." "This is kind of dangerous stuff, so no children here." "I need a grown-up volunteer." "Someone who's willing to put their life on the line." "Is this your first time on stage?" "Yes." " Yes?" "You've never done that?" "Nothing to be afraid of." "Are you nervous?" "Don't be nervous." "What is your name?" "Tell me your name." " Sondra Pransky." "Ah, landsmann!" "United States." "Fantastic." "And where are you from, Sondra?" "No, don't tell me, I got a great ear for that kind of thing." "Alabama, am I right?" "Close." "I'm from Brooklyn." "Incredible." "God bless you, sweetheart." "I'm from Brooklyn, too." "That's fantastic." "I feel such love coming from that woman, I can't tell you." "I also say this from the bottom of my heart:" "You're an incredible human being, and a credit to your race." "Let me ask a question:" "What do you do?" " I'm a student." "Yeah, a student?" "And what do you study?" "No, I got an instinct for what a person studies." "Exactly what you'd be right for." "Uh, dental hygienist." "Is that close?" "I'm a journalism student." "Journalism, OK, OK." "Have you ever been dematerialized before?" "No." "There's nothing to be afraid of." "I'm just gonna agitate some of your molecules and split them apart." "It's not gonna hurt." "I'm just A. Is this gonna be...?" "She's just A. I will do the jokes, Sondra." "Now Sondra, I'm gonna ask you to step inside that box." "I'll split up your molecules." "It will be very painless." "And then I'll put you back together again." "Don't tickle me." "Tell them what you just said to me." "You gotta hear that." "Tell them what you said to me." "Tell them." "She said, "Don't tickle me."" "God bless you, sweetheart." "You got a fantastic sense of humor." "If more people in the world had a sense of humor, we would not be in the state we're in today." "Get in the box." "In the box." "Hurry up." "I want you to take the molecules now of Sondra Mandelbaum." "Pransky." "Pransky, Mandelbaum." "They got the same holidays." "Don't be scared." "You in there?" "You're a journalist, right?" "Oh my God, what are you doing in here?" "Aren't you a journalist?" "I mean, those are the vibrations I've been concentrating on." "Are you ready, Sondra?" "I'm Joe Strombel, reporter, and I have the scoop of the decade about the Tarot card murder case." "It will be fantastic." "It's got everything: big names, murder, prostitution..." "I'm gonna start agitating your molecules." "If you're a journalist, I've got some information for you." "Big story." "Big, big, big scoop." "Peter Lyman." "Come out Sondra." "Come on out, sweetheart." "It's over." "She's a little stunned." "She's never been on stage before, so..." "Are your molecules OK?" "Is everything feeling good?" "Got all your parts?" "It's fantastic." "Go take your seat." "Go back to your seat." "She's great." "Go back to your seat." "LONDON NEWS:" "SERIAL KILLER SOUGHT THE TAROT CARD KILLER" ""After one year hiatus the Tarot Killer strikes again"" ""10th Prostitute is Slain"" "Would you take out the blue light, please." "I'm getting completely negative vibrations from the blue." "It's not right." "There's a lady to see you, Sir." "Hey, Mandelbaum." "You're from the school newspaper, am I right?" "No." "Pransky." "Listen, I have to talk to you about something very serious." "When you put me inside that box..." "I smell a frivolous lawsuit here." "Are you going to tell me you're getting headaches now or something?" "Dizzy spells?" "No." "When you put me inside that Chinese box..." "The dematerializer." "A spirit materialized." " Uh-huh." "Mr Splendini, I'm very serious about this." "Drop the Splendini." "My name's Sidney Waterman, you know what I mean?" "I just go exotic to give the square haircuts a little charisma now and then." "The spirit appeared right next to me." "At first I thought it was one of your stooges." "I don't work with stooges." "Because you gotta pay them health benefits." "Then he told me his name was Joe Strombel." "A journalist from the Land of the Departed." "I couldn't believe it." "I'm a journalist." "He's a journalist." "Our vibes must have kind of meshed together." "He didn't say that in so many words, but I'm putting 2 and 2 together here." "Do me a favor, put 2 and 2 together someplace else." "I'm very very busy, so do you mind?" "Listen, I googled him, OK?" "There is a Joe Strombel, and he died 3 days ago." "Uh-huh." " Just put me back in the box." "Now, uh" " I'm gonna, uh-- agitate the molecules, so" "Let me know if anything happens." "Just keep me posted." "I'll be right here." "The molecules are whirling." "Mr Strombel?" "Um, Joe?" "Sondra Pransky here." "I'm a journalist at Adair." "I know you may have been aiming a little bit higher, but I assure you:" "whatever I lack in experience I'll make up for in dedication." "I'm beginning to lose patience, Sondra." "So let's go." "Is there anybody in there at all?" "Nothing yet." "OK, that's it." "Finito." "I've had it." "Come on, sweetheart." "And if I were you, I would not tell this episode to anyone else, because they'll take away your driver's licence." "I don't understand." "What's to understand?" "This is plywood." "I built it." "What do you think, it has spirits and there's a world of departed people?" "I don't know what you've been smoking." "But don't try and bring it through customs." "Darling, I'm a little late." "Sweetheart, I love you, I say this with all the respect..." " I..." "Sondra!" "Mr Strombel!" " Listen to me, Sondra," "Carefully." "Listen to me." "Write this down, this is a big story." "You got a pen?" "I only have a minute going!" "Fine." "There's every reason to believe that Peter Lyman -- you got the name?" "Yes." "The son of Lord Lyman, the respected businessman, rich, good-looking, very successful, that Peter Lyman is the Tarot Card Serial Killer." "Just write this down." "If so-- and he's murdered a dozen women." "Short-haired brunette prostitutes." "If this were to be Lyman, this would be the biggest story since Jack the Ripper." "Jack the Ripper." "Is that capitalized?" "There's no knowing where he'll strike next, but more women will be murdered until he is stopped." "That's horrible!" "We have to notify the police!" "No, what kind of reporter are you?" "That would be a disaster." "God, no!" "He's a respected millionaire." "You can't accuse anyone, let alone someone like that without substantial proof." "And once you've alerted his suspicion that he is under suspicion, then he'll be impossible to trap." "Not to mention, doubly dangerous." "It's also possible that he poisoned his secretary, because he suspected that she was learning the truth." "You have to get the story first, but first you have to get the story right." "There's no certainty in this, or...?" "The feeling in my gut about this is the kind that journalists dream about." "And so far no one else has the information." "Oh, if I was around today, I'd find a way to get the facts and break this case wide open." "Now believe me, Sondra..." "You can wait a whole life for a story like this." "Don't blow it." "And be careful." "Life's on the balance." "Possibly maybe yours." "Gotta go." "Gotta go." "That's it for me." " You gotta help me with this." "Not me, honey." "I'm a prestidigitator." "I do coin tricks and card tricks." "And I'm a journalist sitting on top of the biggest story of all time!" "Yeah, for a college paper!" "Kid, you're in over your head." "You should share this story." "Share it?" "No way." "I gotta dig up the facts and I'm gonna shop it around to every paper in town." "No, this'll be..." "Soon you'll be drinking black coffee and smoking cigarettes with your hat back." "We don't have much time here." "We gotta strike" "This guy's a serial killer." "He could just kill at any moment." "I heard that part." "That's when I knew I was gonna make other plans." "Go call the police." "That's what I'd do." "What have I got to tell them?" "Tell them exactly what he told you:" "that Lord Lyman's son Peter you suspect he's a serial killer." "And when they ask me where I got this information from?" "Tell them, you know, tell them... explain to them..." "tell them..." "Where did you get the information?" "Is that the question you just asked?" "I would not say anything if I were you because they'll put you away." "That's exactly what I'm saying." "What am I going to say, "I got this information from a dead guy"?" "This is not for me, Sondra." "I don't do this." "I do occasional Bar Mitzvahs and kids' parties." "You're barking up the wrong tree." "Peter Lyman." "Who is Peter Lyman?" "How can we meet him?" "How can we see what we're dealing with here?" "What are we doing here?" "You don't even know what the guy looks like." "That's why we're here." "I just couldn't get a clear picture of him on the internet." "And then what are we gonna do?" "We'll see him." "What are you gonna learn by looking at him?" "Unless he strangles a passer-by." "I don't know, Sidney." "I'm improvising." "I should be home working on my magic." "Why don't you think about this as adding some excitement to your life?" "Sweetheart, excitement in my life is dinner without heartburn after it." "Do you have a family?" "I had a wife, but she dumped me." "If you can believe that." "Somehow." "She thought I was immature and that I never grew up." "I had a great rebuttal for her." "I could have nailed her." "But I raised my hand -- she would not call on me." "Sidney, that's him." "Let's follow him." "Follow him?" "What do you wanna follow him for?" "I told you, we need clues." "We gotta start someplace." "I do not think this is a good idea." "It's a very good idea." "Come on!" "Be careful." "Don't touch anything." "If you break something here you can be washing dishes the rest of your life." "OK." "Now you've seen him." "Let's go." "Jerry!" "It's Jerry Burke." "This is Tara Pryton." "That's how you follow a guy?" "It's not even Peter Lyman." "I told you, the photos weren't clear." "Sweetheart, you should live and be well and prosper." "I hope" " I say this with all due respect, but without me." "I'm tired, I'm bored, I'm hungry," "I'm going home." "God love you." "I'll look for your byline." "Sidney!" "I'm about to become your favorite person." "Why?" "I ran into someone who says Peter Lyman swims at the Governor's Club every day." "Really?" "What's the Governor's Club?" "It's this posh private club." "But Daddy's partner's a member, and members are allowed to bring guests." "Wow!" "Do you think I could bring someone?" "I'm sure Daddy can arrange it." "When do you want to go?" "How can I help you?" "Hi, we're guests of the Boltons." " We're here to take a dip." "Oh, yes." "The lockers are on the first floor." "The pool is downstairs." "Good." "By the way, is Peter Lyman here by any chance?" "Mr Lyman." "Yes, came at a few minutes ago." "And what color bathing suit does he have on?" " Hey." "Do you want me to clash with him?" "Do you swim?" "Of course I don't swim." "You have to ask?" "But this is the best form of exercise." "Yes, but when I go into the water, my glasses float off my head into the pool." "He's here." "That's got to be him." "Well, make sure this time, 'cause I don't wanna have to swim around after another chiropractic." "He's very handsome." "This guy is a serial killer like I play for the New York Jets." "How do we meet him?" "They have a class system." "He's an aristocrat." "We're commoners." "According to his system, we're probably classified as scum." "This is our only chance." "He's all alone." "You're a pretty girl." "I think you could probably get this guy to get interested in you." "Particularly if he's got a twisted mind." "I can't just go up to him and say, "Hi, how are you"." "Wouldn't he get suspicious?" "Or put off, or...?" "Drown!" "What?" "Drown." "I'll go get..." "Listen to me!" "I'll go get coffee, you get a cramp, go in the water, flounder around" "Come on, sweetheart, that's a great idea." "He's obliged to save you that way." "And if he doesn't, I'll notify your parents." "Help!" "Help!" "Right!" "Jesus." "What's with you?" "All right." "All right?" "Here we are." "Are you OK?" "Thank you." "Sorry." "I'm not the greatest swimmer." " That's all right." "My leg cramped." "You got to stretch your leg." "That's it." " Thank you.." "You should always do a little stretching before you go in, that way you won't cramp." "Thank you very much." "I haven't been swimming in so long." "You're a new face." "Have you just become a member?" "No, I'm a guest of the Boltons." "Oh, right, Jack Bolton, he's a lovely chap." "I'm Peter Lyman, by the way." "Hi." "Son..." "Sad..." "Jade." "Jade..." "Spence." "Jade Juilliard Spence." "That's a very pretty name." " Thank you." "Yes, we're the Spences of..." "Palm Beach." "Not the same Spences who are in the shipping line?" "No, my father is into, uh, silver and gold and and jewellery." "For whales." "What are you doing in London?" "I'm here visiting friends in Halling Park." " What do you do, Jade?" "I am... an actress." " Really?" " M-hm." "Yes." "Actually, I'm up to the part of Desirée in the new Mike Tinsley film." "Well, you're certainly beautiful enough." "Thank you." "Jade, if you're not busy, my father is giving a garden party at the estate." "I'd love you to come." "I'd be very happy to be your date." "I could show you around." "The English countryside is very lovely this time of the year." "Sounds fantastic." "Do you mind if I brind my... father?" "Your father?" " Oh, there he is right now." "I was in the lounge, I heard you drowning, I finished my tea and scones and came immediately." "Dad, this is Peter Lyman." "He was nice enough to rescue me." "Dad?" "Of course, child." "She cannot swim." "The girl cannot swim." "Like a lead weight." "She sinks to the bottom all the time." "It's a family trait." "Lack of buoyancy." "Her siblings have it as well." "Pleasure to meet you, Mr Spence, right?" "Well..." " Yes." "And I'll see you on Sunday at the estate?" "What's Sunday now, a fox hunt?" "No, Dad, I'll explain later." "Listen, I'll leave all the information at the desk, all right?" "Come, child." "Oh, very good." "What kind of idiot are you?" "Not a fox hunt." "I'd like to talk to these people in their own terms." "Oh, thanks for telling him I'm your father." "Oh, incidentally." "He thinks my name is Jade Spence, so that makes you Mr Spence." "Wait a minute." "This is too tricky." "I don't wanna go ahead with this." "What's wrong with you?" "You're all right with deception." "You're a magician." "Yes, I'm a magician, and I wanna stay a magician." "A Coke, please." "I don't wanna get sued or deported or arrested for stalking somebody." "This is a big guy you're dealing with." "This is a big story, no kidding." "That's what Joe Strombel said." "That's why he's returning." "This is his last big story." "What do I care about Joe Strombel?" "Suddenly I'm taking direction from a hunk of ectoplasm?" "This could be very big for my career." "Your career is fine." "You're on a college, Bugle, whatever it is." "You got years for scoops." "Forget you." "I'll do this on my own." "I don't need you." "Go back to your card tricks." "I didn't say I wouldn't help you." "I just-- it has to be done properly." "We gotta put our heads together." "If we put our heads together you'll hear a hollow noise." "Look at this place." "All it's missing is a moat." "Hey, I could get used to this." "Look at this." "There he is." "Remember:" "Jade Spence." "Jade who?" "Here you are." " Hi." "Hi, welcome, Mr Spence." "Yes, I'm Mr Spence!" " Jade." "You look stunning." "Oh, thank you." "It's beautiful here." "Yes, it's been in the family for years." "About 400 years." "She said all it's missing is a moat." "Right." "I loved that." "The moat line." ""All it's missing is a moat."" "Here's my father, Stephen Lyman." "These are my friends from America." "Lord Lyman!" "Hello." " (Curtsey." "Curtsey.)" "I've never met a lord before." "But there was that earl." "There was that earl." "I do hope you're enjoying yourselves." "Peter, why don't you show them around?" "Excellent, would you like that?" "He'd be charmed, I'm sure." "Should we hit the buffet table first though?" "Because the stuff looks great." "No, Dad." "Remember we wanted to look around." " Yes, of course." "Blessed offspring." "Why don't we get a drink and then we'll start inside?" "Oh, OK." "I love this room here." "We often spend the evenings in here." "English countryside." "It's elegant yet understated." "I like that." "You've done wonders with the place." "Brings to mind Trollop." "Oh, do you enjoy reading Trollope too?" "No, not the author." "This was a girl I knew." "Come, let's go upstairs and have a little view." "Would you quit fooling around?" "What's wrong with you?" "I'm charming him." " Who's gonna remember things?" "I remember." "I got a mnemonic system that I use." "I use images." "It's a trick." "Say I wanted to remember this ashtray, I think of fifty ashtrays dancing on a desert island in hula skirts." "Then I remember." "I can call it to mind whenever..." "Where are you going?" "This is one of the drawing-rooms." " This is really beautiful." "This is my great-grandfather." "That's Grandfather and his wife Lady Hayden." "Reminds me of the portrait of Van Hillary in the library, no?" "Gaye Moon Hillary." "Suffragette, I believe." "Diphtheria Tucker." "Or perhaps it was Ellen Blythe?" "Come on, Dad." "Oh, this is just beautiful." "Yes, I love the lake." "Do either of you fish?" " No, never have." "Oh, I have to teach you." "I've taken some salmon." "Organic." " Yes, me too." "I fly-fish a little." "So Jade, do you enjoy concerts?" "I'm very big on the Philharmonic." "We sponsor, in fact." "I used to play the violin." "Very badly, but..." "I have quite a large musical collection." "Do you play an instrument, either of you?" "Because we have this lovely music gallery." "I do, yes, I play... you know, various classics." "Noel Coward and Shakespeare." " Right." "We gave her piano lessons when she was a little girl, but her fingers were just too stubby." "Yes." "What about you, Mr Spence?" " Oh, I play the blues harp." "It's a little metal thing you put in your mouth, and it makes a twanging sound." "Very musical." "Used to be called the jews' harp, but you know how those people are." "The slightest hint of Anti-Semitism, and they write letters." "I would love it if you could teach me how to fly-fish." "That'd be great." "That'd be my pleasure." "Watch me very closely." "Pay very strict attention here." "Now I want you to take a card." "Take any card you like." "You got it?" "Take them together." "No, no, put it in your pocket." "Now tell everybody what the card was." " It was the six of hearts." "Six of hearts?" "Was it this six of hearts?" "But I just put it into my bag!" " Well, check your cards." "It's amazing!" " You're a wonderful ***." "I mean that sincerely." "God bless you." "You're a very sweet woman, and this is a really great audience." "From the bottom of my heart, I say this with your all due respect, you're a wonderful ***." "A credit for your race." "A magnificent group of people." "I must find out who does the hedges here." "At home, my topiary moose is starting to look a little shabby around the antlers." "What do you do, Mr Spence?" "I'm in real estate." "Sorry, I'm in oil." "I'm in oil." "I was in real estate." "But land is so difficult to come by now." "Especially outdoors." "I'll say, I accept your invitation." "I will play poker this weekend." "Now that I've seen how good you are at cards..." "Can we trust you?" "Tell me about yourself, Peter." "This is all so new to me." "Well, what would you like to know?" "I don't know, anything you care to reveal." "Your hopes, your dreams." "Well, I come from a privileged family, as I'm sure that you can tell." "It was always decided, one day I would enter politics." "Uh, my hobbies:" "Polo-- oh, and I own some resources." "How's that for a start?" "Now, what are your hopes and dreams?" "Uh, I like to dance and visit museums, and I like to cook Chinese food" "If you know any good Chinese restaurants" "Oh, I've gotten really interested in New Age phenomena recently." "What?" " Uh, you know, mystical things like astrology, crystals, and Tarot." "Do you know anything about Tarot cards?" " Not really, I'm more scientific-minded." "I find it diff..." "What?" "What are you staring at?" "Oh-- you have wonderful enamel." "Thank you." "You know, I'd love to take you dancing one night." "I'm a good dancer." "I would love that." "That'd be great." "May I confess something?" "Sure." "I just love an American accent, and I found much of what you say very amusing." "Oh." "I'll take that as a compliment." "And since you like Chinese food" "I'm going to have my new secretary send you a list of all the great ones in town." "Oh, you have a new secretary?" "Oh, yes." "I'm breaking in someone new." "My previous secretary died." "She was a young woman." "Just very suddenly, of a blood clot." "It was awful." "Did they... do an autopsy?" "How did we get on to these morbid subjects?" "So you've never seen a real English garden before?" "I have a couple of treasures." "Would I offend you if I told you something?" " Probably not." "You're very different from the women I usually meet." "That's a good thing." "Can't seem to get the vision of you in your swimsuit out of my mind." "Well, I'm glad you liked it." "It was marked down." "Now that's exactly what I mean." "You have this very direct and informal way about you." "You take after your father." " M-hm." "Great." "You have a very sensual quality." "But I'm sure you have been told that." "You work really fast." " If I'm overbearingly aggressive, I'll stop." "No, don't." "We're just getting warmed up." "Are you romantic by nature?" "I won't say, "Do you believe in love at first sight", because that's a cliché." "But have you had an experience where a bell goes off, just right away?" "Sorry, I need those." "You see, I could have worn contacts." "But I don't want to put my finger on my eyeball." "Good bye." "We must meet for tea and crumpets again." "I could have strangled you." "You didn't shut up." "And stop telling people to sprinkle their ruins." "I'm trying to cement the fact that I'm your father." "The guy was so fantastic." "I can't imagine he'd do anything bad." "This guy is not a serial killer, believe me." "I'd be very surprised if he even killed one person." "He asked me to go dancing, actually." " That's a perfect strategy." "You room your way in like a rodent or a roach." "And as the crumbs fall off the table, you collect them and we analyze them." "Thanks a lot." " Look at this." "Look at what I've got." ""Betty G." What is this?" "It's a doodle." "He doodled it." "How do you know he doodled it?" "How do you know it is his?" "How do I know?" "I stole it out of his overnight bag." "What the hell is wrong with you, Sidney?" "It's a clue!" "We're hard up to clues!" "It's not a clue." "What does it mean?" "It could be his aunt, his travel agent." "I'm late for dinner." "You wanna come in and eat something?" " No." "No, thank you." "Peter called, he's gonna be late." "He said to start without him." "Come on then." "Anyone else?" " This is it?" "Right, who's winning?" " Mr Spence is a good poker player, Peter." "Actually I bought my first Rubin's with poker money." "You bought a Rubens painting?" "Not a painting." "A sandwich." "I could use a drink." "He asked me if I believed in love at first sight." "How sweet is that." "So naïf." "I hope you told him yes." " I told him we have nothing in common." "We come from completely different backgrounds." "I think he likes that or something." "What about the story you're writing on him?" "What is that all about?" "Sondra?" "TAROT KILLER STRIKES AGAIN" ""Mary Thompson, a short-haired brunette, was strangled at Falkenberg Place last night at 9:30." ""Next to the body of the short-haired brunette prostitute..." ""was the hangman card from the tarot deck."" "At what time did you see Peter arrive to the poker game last night?" "If you're asking me, did he have time to strangle somebody and make the card game?" "Yes, he had plenty of time." "I got to let my feelings subside and probe deeper into this case." "What does that mean?" "It means, we know where his family means, we know his social circle, but we don't know what his house looks like." "I want to get a look at that." "Straight on." " Oh, this is really nice." "Thank you." "Do you do a lot of entertaining?" "I'm embarrassed to say that I do." "You must think I'm an empty socialite." "Much of it's political." "I think you're swell." "That's a lovely painting." "I recognize that from history books." "Yes?" "Henry Moore." "In fact, it was a present of Henry Moore to my father." "It's very beautiful." "Is it Roman or Greek or something like that?" "It's Roman." "Second century AD." "You have good taste." "I think you'll like what's downstairs, the real treasures." "Come." "Here we are." "These are all my instruments." "The room is climate-controlled." "To protect all these beautiful pieces." "It's fantastic." " Thank you." "My family's been collecting it for years." "This is a Guarneri and a Stradivarius." "You may have heard of them." "Do you play these violins?" "Me?" "God, no." "But we lend them out." "They need to be played." "These old instruments are very romantic." "Let's go upstairs." " OK." "What's your name, sweetheart?" "Tell me your name." "I'm Wendy Beamish." " For Wendy Beamish." "Fantastic." "I love you, Wendy." "I really do." "Is this your first time on stage?" " Yes." "I love this woman from the bottom of my heart." "I mean it sincerely." "You are incredible." "I say that with all due respect." "Have you ever been dematerialized before?" "No, I haven't." "Have you had your molecules broken up?" " No, no." "I haven't." "She's nervous." "Don't be nervous, sweetheart." "This is not gonna hurt much." "Get into the box." "Get into the dematerializer." "Are you in there, are you comfortable?" "I'm fine." "OK, stay calm." "Can you hear me, Wendy?" "You feel the molecules evaporating?" "Let me hear from you, honey." "Remember these numbers: 16 21 12." " What?" "16 21 12!" "16 21 12!" "16 blue horses," " Yes, of course." "Blessed offspring." "and 12 midgets -- spinning." "It was as great as I imagined it would be." "You look beautiful." "And pensive." "No, not pensive." "Just confused." "Ah, women after lovemaking." "So what's so complicated?" "I love your after shave." "What is it?" "Yardley." "I first used it when I was 16, and never changed." "I'm very loyal, so..." "Do you have to put them on?" "But quite sexy." "You got a wonderful smell." "Mmh, you like it?" "Just some fragrance." "Right." " Where are you going?" "I have an idea." "It's time to celebrate with some champagne." "I want you to stay." "I'll make a mean scrambled egg." "Stay." "That's my mother." " Oh." "She's very attractive." "Yeah, she was very beautiful." "But quite difficult." "Difficult?" "How?" "Unfaithful." "Can you please stay?" "Nothing would please me more." "Come on." "I really can't." "Why not?" "My father, he's feeling... not that great." "Nothing serious?" "No, nothing." "Just a tooth problem, you know." "Little sensitivity in lower 7." "I should go." "So, let me get back to the story." "I'm on stage." "I'm doing the dematerializer trick, with this chick from Manchester." "I don't know where they get these people." "She looked like Sitting Bull." "And I got her into the thing, and I vanished her." "Everything goes according to the plan exactly." "And she's gone." "And suddenly, Strombel appears." "What?" " Yes, Strombel's in there." "I got a tremendous hand from the audience." "I wish I could do that every night." "What did he say?" " He gave me the combination to a safe." "What safe, I have no idea." "I didn't see any safe." "Did you accomplish anything, besides a possible pregnancy?" "I'll tell you what I did see." "His mother, Lady Elinor, has shortcut brunette hair." "Yeah, but not a hooker." "No, Sidney, she's not a hooker." "I don't think so." "She's practically royalty." "Christ, you amaze me sometimes." "Your brain." "Back off." "You're getting so upset." "I'm just trying to figure out the various ramifications." "I don't like this whole thing." "I feel disgusting." "It's awful." "I don't like the whole process." "Yeah, you wanna think he's innocent." " What's so bad about that?" "Jesus, this guy must be some lover." "All of a sudden you're ready to dump the whole story." "I must find out what breakfast he really eats." "What am I talking about?" "The combination on the door where he keeps his precious musical instruments!" "So there is a combination." " I just gotta get into that room." "Do you have the combination?" " We're not going to break into his room, if that's what you think." "We gotta have the combination." "I gotta get in there." " No, we're not gonna do this." "Because it's not leg-- Sondra, what's wrong with you?" "This guy is the son of a lord." "They'll take us to the Tower of London and behead us." "Hi." " Guess what." "What?" " Peter Lyman sent you flowers." "I assume your name is Jade Spence." "Naturally I accepted for you." "Yeah, I'm Jade Spence." " What is going on?" "Vivian." "He's giving a party on Saturday, and he wants me to come." "I guess I'll have to buy a dress." "He seems smitten about you." "He isn't smitten with anyone." "It's Jade Spence." "Who is Jade Spence?" "A would-be investigative reporter who has fallen in love with the object of her investigation." "I want you to think of one of these cards." "Any one you want." "Did you happen to be thinking of the 7 of spades?" "It's amazing!" "How do you do that?" "It's a hobby of mine." "I wish I had more time to practice." "With my oil wells, I never get around to it." "Your daughter is very beautiful." " You met my daughter?" "Yes." " Yes." "We're very proud." "She's a lovely girl." "Overcame a great handicap." "She was learning disabled." "Her mother and I took her to many specialists." "Now she's practically normal." "But she's a charmer." " God bless you, sweetheart." "What is your sign?" "I'm an Aquarian." "You're an Aquarian?" "What is your persuasion?" "You mean my religion?" " Yeah, that was the question." "I'm a Christian." " Yes, are you?" "What are you?" " Me, I was born into the Hebrew persuasion, but when I got older I converted to Narcissism." "Dad?" "Dad, I need to talk to you right now." "Oh, I was just about to pull some quarters out of Mrs Quincy's nose." "Right now." "I need to talk to you." "Really?" " Yup." "Excuse me, I'm..." "Would you stop doing those nitwit tricks?" "What is wrong with you?" "You're a dignified businessman." "I told them it was a hobby." "The hobby of a rich merchant." "Excuse me." "Go downstairs." "Open the music room door." "I'll keep Peter busy meanwhile." "You brought the combination, right?" "No, I left it in my other jacket." " What?" "What are we gonna do?" "You gotta go home and get it." "I can't get it because the other jacket's in the cleaner's." "This is the problem having a limited wardrobe." "Don't worry." "I have a mnemonic system." "Here you are." "Uh, Mr Spence." "Trust you're having a good time?" " Yes, a great time." "This reminds me of a party that we put up, a mask ball in Palm Beach this year." "I came as the Harlequin, she dressed as Petunia Pig." "Honey, there's something I wanted to ask you." "There was a mask, wasn't it?" "Or just..." "Just a minute." "Do you need a drink?" " No, I'm fine, thank you." "It's 8... 8, uh, blue horses..." "No, no, it's 10... 10 spinning midgets." "No, it's 2 jet planes, and 8... no." "See you." " Nice to meet you." "Calm down, calm down." "It was... 8 maids a-milking... and 3 French hens..." "No, no." "...16 horses, 21 jet planes, 12 spinning midgets..." "Eureka!" "I'll be right back." "Sidney, is that you?" " I'm locked in!" "Oh Christ!" "What's the combination?" "It's gone out of my mind." "Have you seen Miss Spence?" " I think I've seen her going downstairs." "It's 16 blue horses, it's-- it's 21 jet planes and 12 midgets. 12 spinning midgets." "Thank God!" "I thought I would turn into one of these skeletons they find when people sell the house." "The door!" " 16 21 12 -- you couldn't remember that number?" "My mnemonic system failed me." "What do you want me to say?" "Exactly what are we looking for in here?" "This is all..." "I'm not really sure." " You're not sure?" "Well, don't break anything." "We'll get caught and" " God knows." "You know the old dirty joke about how the French horn player speaks to his wife at night?" "Sidney, put that thing down!" "There's nothing but musical instruments in here." "We're on a wild goose chase." " Jade?" "What's the matter?" " Did you hear that?" "I thought I heard something." " Come on." "Let's get out of here." " We need to say we got caught in here." "There you are." "I was searching for you." "Our guests will be leaving soon." "Well, I was just showing Father around." "He loves English homes." "I was very impressed with your cellar." "I have a wonderful cellar myself." "No wine, but it's rodent-free." "Well, let's get a drink." "Please, Mr Spence." "I haven't seen you with a drink all night." "Can you stay the night, please?" " What?" "Come on." " No, I can't." "Why not?" " Well, my father." "Come on." "I'll have my driver take him home." "I can't let you go." "You're too beautiful." "Look at you." "I can't." "Where were you?" "What were you doing?" "I couldn't sleep, so I thought maybe some milk..." "Jade, can I ask you something?" "Would you consider not going home at the end of the summer?" "I don't understand." "What more proof do you need?" "What do you want me to tell the police?" ""The guy owns a deck of Tarot cards"?" "That's not a crime." "Or that he was late for a poker game." "I'm sure he's smart enough to have an alibi." "What are we left with?" "His mother has shortcut brunette hair." "Look, if we blow the whistle on this guy and he's innocent..." "Then he realizes that you-- you're a pushy little phony who's been playing for sucker, and he dumps you." "All that I'm saying is that in order to make an accusation, we gotta have proof." "Especially on Lord Lyman's son." "We don't have to make an accusation." "We can phone in an anonymous tip." "You know how many crime tips the papers say the police get?" "And you want to phone one in on Peter Lyman?" "They'll hang up on you in mid-sentence." "Besides, if the story's true, I wanna be the one to break it." "You know what Joe Strombel said?" "He said, "Get it first, but first get it right."" "Happy birthday." "Thank you." "What's up?" "You look so sullen." " No, I'm not." "I'm just..." "Just..." "I get sad around birthdays." " Oh yes, I can understand that." "But I think we are both still young enough to enjoy the gift." "Come on, open up." "Wow, it's beautiful." " You like it?" "I love it." " Good to hear." "Allow me." "Gosh!" "You shouldn't have." " I wanted to." "Are you crying?" " No, I'm too touched to cry." "But my nasal passages do become congested when I'm sad." "Don't be sad." "It's your birthday." "I wish I could celebrate with you tonight." "But I have to go out of town for a few days." "Really?" "Yes, I have some business to take care of." "We'll celebrate when I get back, all right?" " OK." "Thanks so much for the present." "It's beautiful." "I'll think about you whenever I wear it." "You didn't tell me it was your birthday." "I'll take you for a magnificent dinner." "We'll go to a great restaurant." "Really?" "You enjoy the um, McNuggets thing?" "What about Indian food?" "You like spicy food?" "It's OK." "I don't really have much of an appetite." "But you will when I bring up the prawns in hydrochloric acid." "It's fantastic." "What are you, thinking of Peter?" "I don't know." "It's just..." "I wouldn't be surprised if he asked me to marry him one day." "You come from an orthodox family." "Would they accept a serial killer?" "That's an expensive present." "The Lymans are so wealthy." "Yes, it was almost too extravagant." "I better get ready." "I still haven't found my millionaire yet." "God, Sondra, what a mess!" "It's starting to add up against him." "Bits and scraps are coming together." "God, it's you!" "I sensed you were falling in love." "I escaped, again." "It's just circumstantial junk." "A coincidence here and there." "Too much smoke not to be fire." "I'm sure you've been wrong plenty of times." "I'm not wrong here, though I agree." "You haven't got enough to pull the trigger yet." "If you act prematurely, not only does he walk-- your professional credibility is wrecked." "Sometimes for good." " Oh, I'm sure you want him to be guilty." "That way you get your last big scoop." " I'm beginning to fade!" "Sondra, don't let me down!" " I wish you'd fade for good!" "Get out of my life." "I'm not cut off for this." "I should be flossing molars for a living." "You know, I can make a meal just out of bread." "I can do a whole meal with just nothing but bread." "If I ate that much bread, I'd be 20 pounds heavier." "See, I never gain an ounce." "Because my anxiety acts like aerobics." "So I get the exercise." "Thanks for taking me out for my birthday, Sidney." "You're the daughter I never had." "I'm kidding. 'Cause I never wanted to have kids." "Because if you have kids, what is it?" "You're nice to them, you bring them up, you suffer, you take care of them, and then they grow up and accuse you of having Alzheimer's." "Could you ever live in London?" " Could I live in London?" "No." "I love London, don't get me wrong, but apart from the language problem, I can't take the driving." "Because I'm on the wrong side, and everytime I drive a car here" "I'm convinced I'm gonna die in a crash." " Sidney!" "What's the matter?" " It's Peter!" "I thought Peter's out of town?" " That's what he told me." "Come on." " What do you mean, come on?" "I ordered prawns!" " Just pay, all right?" "Just pay." " What do you mean, pay?" "Right, it's her birthday." "Come on." " Maybe he's got another woman on the side." "And he likes you, but he's sexually attracted to her." "Thanks, Sidney." " Well, why doesn't he have a chauffeur?" "I don't know." "Whatever he's doing, he must want it to be his secret." "He went the other way." " Can we go home please?" "It's starting to rain." " I can't believe he lied to me." "Maybe he's doing something he was ashamed to tell you about." "Maybe he belongs to one of those clubs where he's a crossdresser or something." "Maybe he does folk dancing." " I'm sure it's something that when he tells me I'll just feel foolish for thinking he lied." "I'm sure." "Not everything in this world is sinister." "Just practically everything." "The Indian food made me sick." " You hardly touched your copra salad." "How can you feel sick?" "Help!" "A woman be strangled!" "Help!" "A woman be strangled!" "Somebody call the police!" "There's been a murder!" "Have you got a phone?" "Call the police!" "It's been the Tarot murder." "It's him." "They found a Tarot card." "Elizabeth Gibson, another short-haired brunette." "I wish we'd gone to the police earlier." "You said that they wouldn't believe us." "And they may not." "Sidney, it's about time to show my story to a real newspaper man." "By real you mean what?" " One that's living." "Vivian's father has a friend that works at the Observer." "Well, it's very vivid and rather shocking, and there are some genuine circumstantial bits of evidence." "Let me give you a lesson in professional journalism." "No newspaper should or would ever run this story." "What?" "Why?" "It would be fatally irresponsible and libelous." "All you have here are a number of titillating speculations." "Flamboyant theories that tarnish a man -- and a well-known figure at that -- without a single shred of substantial proof." "So his mother was a short-haired brunette." "So he came late for a poker game and said he was going away on a business trip and he got caught... lying." "Yes, but who keeps a Tarot deck under a French horn?" "It's not against the law to own a Tarot deck or keep it wherever you like." "You'll look pretty foolish in court with all your accusations, and that's where you'll wind up" "Because he'll have no choice but to sue you, and the newspaper, and he'll win." "And to go to the police?" "I'll counter that, but first let me continue my tedious professorial lecture." "Vivian's dad and I go way back." "He said you were a journalism student." "You talk about getting a tip." "OK, you won't disclose your source, but what you have done is let your imagination run wild." "What if I told you that my source happened to be a certain Joe Strombel?" "The late Joe Strombel?" " Yup." "You mean, before he died he gave a student reporter a major story and he didn't follow it up himself?" "No, we didn't say it was before he died." "What?" " No." "He got the story before he died, and then he died before he could follow it up." "Why did he give it to you?" "He didn't know he was dying." "I don't buy it." "I knew Joe Strombel well." "If he'd had a tip that he considered reliable he would certainly have pursued it himself, from the grave if necessary." "What about how Peter was in the neighborhood the night the murder was committed?" "I realize as a student how exciting it must have been to think that you were on to something so spectacular." "Hey, she is on to something." "This kid is a bloodhound." "Look at her." "She could sell the story to any tabloid in town." "Now that I've preached on the realities of accurate reporting," "I won't tell you how catastrophic for everybody involved it would have been if you had, say, taken the results of your investigation to a tabloid." "Today, the police have apprehended the Tarot card serial killer." "And it most assuredly is not Peter Lyman." "What?" "Every paper in town is going to press with it as we speak." "It was a handyman named Henry Banks, who has confessed." "Banks is a delusional paranoid." "He was giving Scotland Yard information that only the killer could possibly know." "He has led the police to two additional bodies, and his DNA and the fingerprints they found check out." "I know this put a crimp in your scoop, but Henry Banks it the Tarot card serial killer." "Not Lord Lyman's son." "I can't say I'm not walking on air." "Jesus, if I ever catch that Strombel I kill him." "I hope Peter forgives me for what I've done." "For what?" " I lied to him!" "I'm not Jade Spence, I'm a pushy, duplicitous, ambitious college student." "I've lied to him over and over." " Darling, he's lied to you too." "His lies pale in comparison to what I've done." "So marry him as Jade Spence." "Don't tell him." "You don't have to be Sondra Pransky ever again." "Marry him as Jade Spence." "I don't wanna have to pick your Father's Day gift every year." "I don't know how to break this to you..." "You're adopted." "Your mother and I were at the orphanage." "We wanted a handicapped child." "Ah, finally just you and I all weekend." " Yeah." "I thought you'd like it here." " It's lovely." "Peter..." " Yes." "I have a confession to make." " Oh God, so do I." "Let me go first." " Actually, no." "Let me." "Because mine has been bothering me all day." "I just want to get it off my chest." "When I told you I was going away for a few days on business," "I was" " I was lying." " I know." "You know?" "How?" " I saw you." "You saw me?" "No!" " I was at dinner." "With your father?" " Actually..." "It doesn't matter." "Really." "The truth is, a company my father owns is about to merge with a company in the Middle East." "It's a very sensitive situation, and the less anyone knows about it, the better." "We didn't want the press to sniff it out." "But that's no excuse, really." "I'm very sorry for the extreme secrecy." "No, it's fine." "I'm glad." "It's your own secret information." "That's fine." "So your father took you out for a birthday dinner, and you saw me..." "How unnerving!" "God, the thing I hate most in the world is lying." "What?" "Peter..." " Yes, Jade?" "Peter..." " Oh yes." "What did you want to tell me?" "If there's nothing you can tell me..." " My name is not Jade Spence." "It's not?" "It's Sondra Pransky." "And my father is not my father." "His name is Sidney Waterman." "He's a magician called Splendini." "I'm a journalism student." "Don't ask me what kind of crazy misinformation we received to believe you might be the Tarot card killer." "I didn't know you at this time, remember?" "Of course as soon as I got to know you, I knew that it couldn't possibly be true." "And the police have him now, so everything's fine." "Of course, along the road I fell for you." "And now I totally blew it and..." " Who told you this?" "A newspaper man." "He's now deceased." "Very foolish." "He was eager for his last scoop." "I'm so sorry..." "I totally understand if you never want to speak to me again or if you don't wanna see me, I'm..." " Miss Pransky." "Not only am I not angry with you, but you... you've absolutely made my day." " What?" "I wasn't expecting that I could be such a imaginative, dramatic fiend." "I love it." " You do?" "Yeah, I think it's one of the funniest, craziest things I've ever heard in my life." "Can't wait to tell it to the chaps at the Club." "Peter." " Yes, darling." "I have to ask you something." " Yes, anything." "Why did you hide that Tarot deck in your music room?" "How do you know about that?" "I was so paranoid, it's crazy, but I snuck in." "It was going to be a surprise." "I bought them for you." "They're Victorian Tarot cards." "You told me that you're into that kind of thing." "What?" " It was only a gift for you." "You're so..." "I feel like such an idiot." "Never mind." "What a shame." "Let's forget about it." " No..." "Now that we've confessed us things, let's just move on with our lives." "Really?" "Yeah, I want to hear all about the real you." "I assure you in advance I'll love it." "God, you snuck into my music room, did you?" "So the reason why he was skulking around was that he had this private family business." "It's too delicate to discuss, actually." "I'm sorry, I don't buy it." " What?" "The man is a liar and a murderer." "I say that with all due respect." "Child, I know what I'm talking about." " Don't call me that." "You remember when we were out on the estate and I found the clue and you thought I was nuts?" "I thought that you were nuts so many times." "I can't recall the exact one." "Do you remember this little item, this clue?" "Betty G." " Yes, Betty G." "Now..." "I checked all the girls that were murdered." "The one that was killed the night we saw Peter on the street was named " " Elizabeth Gibson." " So?" "So Betty is short for Elizabeth a lot of times." "Come on, Sidney." "That's a real stretch." "You're reaching now." "Look, suppose you wanted to rob somebody out and not be caught." "Nobody wants to get caught, Sidney." "Look, if he wants to get rid of Elizabeth Gibson --Betty Gibson-- and there's a series of murders with a guy that's got a real style a Tarot card..." " They said he was a total maniac." "He buys a Tarot deck and let's say, he hides it, hypothetically, he hides it, let's say, in a music room." "He hides it in a French horn." "In a French horn!" " I'm losing patience with you!" "I'm not saying the guy did all the murders." "I'm saying that he just did Elizabeth Gibson." "And he folded it into the series of the Tarot killer so he wouldn't get caught." "Henry Banks confessed to all the murders." "Henry Banks is deranged." "He hallucinates." "You know these guys like to brag when they get caught." "Henry Banks, you know..." "Where are you going?" "The cops will dump every unsolved murder on Henry Banks." "They haven't caught anybody in years." "Peter wouldn't hurt a fly." "Oh really?" "What about a fly who speaks?" "What?" " Yes." "Why would Peter kill a prostitute?" "Because it would look horrible on his resumé." "Who knows what kind of sordid life this guy has." "Have you lost your mind?" "What is wrong with you?" "Peter being blackmailed by a prostitute?" "It's ridiculous." "What are you putting in your Metamucil?" "Where are you going?" "You don't understand." "It would kill his reputation." "Can you bring the water out?" "Can I say one thing?" "Can I just tell you one thing?" "Joe Strombel would not agree with you." "I don't wanna talk about Joe Strombel." "Even a great reporter can be wrong." "But he's not wrong." "That blackmail, I see it all over." "You are a cynical crapehanger who always sees the glass half empty." "No, you're wrong." "I see the glass half full, but of poison." "And you're gonna wind up drinking it." "You don't know anything." "You don't have a reporter's instinct." "You're just some guy who vanishes silk handkerchiefs and cuts people's neckties off." "Do you want me to do you a favor?" "Go back to your card tricks, all right?" "Did you tell her?" " I did, I told her." "And I made it seem as though it all suddenly just came to me." " I know I'm right." "She just wouldn't listen to me." "She hates me." "Yeah." "Sometimes, I gotta say, I'm worried about that girl." "I don't think I'll be seeing you anymore." "Well, if there's a scoop to be had here, she's gonna get it for you." " You repeat this so many times." "And I've used every trick I know." "You look after her." "She's a decent kid." "Check his Tarot deck." "See if a card's missing..." "I'm a reporter." "I'm doing a story on Elizabeth Gibson." "I know she lived here." " I didn't know her." "Hardly ever saw her come and go." "She was quiet." "I knew what she did for a living, but what she used to entertain her clients here, I don't know." "I couldn't say." "Excuse me, I'm" " I'm" "I'm a reporter and I--I do a story for-- by Elizabeth Gibson and and if there's any comments, anything you know about her..." "What paper are you from?" " The, the..." "Wa-Washington Post." "I'm one of the top reporters in there." "Did you see "All the President's Men"?" "I was the short guy." "Why is an American paper interested in it?" "No, no, we are." "We're doing a big story..." "the Travel and Leisure section is doing a big spread on "Places to Avoid like the Plague"." "I'll make it very worth your while." " All right." "I knew Betty Gibson" "She was very tough, but I don't think that she deserved to die." "You said Betty Gibson?" " Everyone called her Betty." "That was her name." "Really?" "And did you know any of her clients at all?" "She knew millions of men, didn't she." "She was very sexy." "Not that you'd know that in these pictures." "She used to be a really pretty baby-faced blonde." "The sort men go nuts for." "Blonde?" "But the paper-- the pictures in the paper" " Oh, no, I know." "She made the mistake of cutting it off and dyeing it black." "God knows why." "Maybe it was to please one of her regulars." "She had a steady client?" " Yeah, well, one for sure." "Look, these guys never use their real names, OK?" "But there was this one rich kid that she saw a lot." "And his name was..." "Peter." "Peter what?" "Peter Y..." "Peter Yardley." "Yardley?" "Yardley." "Hello, this is..." "Mr Spence." "This is Sid Waterman Spence." "Where have I called?" "Hello Sidney." "It's, uh, Peter Lyman." "Sondra and I are spending the weekend at my father's country house." "You could've come." "That's OK." "She gave me this number to call her." "May I speak with her?" "Yes, one second." "Hi, Sidney." "Listen, I got a treasure trove of information here." "I just was snooping on Elizabeth Gibson." "She's called Betty." "Betty!" "And she had some kind of a long relationship, a special relationship with some young guy, Peter." "The last name doesn't click, but I'm sure it's the same." "This is crazy." "Stop making trouble, Sidney." "The case is closed." "Listen." "This thing adds up." "You're alone up there with a very, very dangerous man." "That's two "very"s." "You gotta get back to town rightaway." "Sidney, if I thought there was a shred of proof," "I would never let my personal feelings get involved." "The truth is, I'm crazy about the guy." "I can't keep obsessing over a tantalizing conspiracy theory." "I'm sure that he killed her and made it look like a Tarot killing." "You don't see it because you got stars in your eyes." "Look, this is crazy." "I don't wanna talk about this anymore." "It's upsetting for me." "Let me have my nice weekend." "I'll talk to you when I get back." "Stop with inspiring the doubts in my heads." "Is Sidney OK?" " Yes, yes." "You know, I love Sidney." "But he's got a part missing, you know." "He's crazy." "Really?" "Like what?" " We'll talk about it later." "Let me change, OK?" "Yes?" "Oh, you, Sir." "My daughter is in the country with Mr Lyman." "I'm driving up there later." "She asked me to pick up her red cashmere sweater." "She thinks she left it upstairs." "Red cashmere?" " Yes, it's a red sweater." "Yes, it's a kind of red, tomato red, like a fire engine." "A rouge red." "I understand, Sir." "Red." " Yes." "I see if I can find it." "Sir." " Oh!" "I was just checking out the Stradivarius." "You know, I play a few pieces myself on the violin." "Prokofiev and Bartók, the Hot Canary..." "But Mr Lyman is the only person to have the combination to that room." "Well, he-- he wanted to share it with me because-- you know, in case something happened." "Life is really capricious." "A stroke, a sudden embolism, or a lightning." "Darling, I love you." "I mean that sincerely." "You're a wonderful woman." "You're a tremendous servant." "A credit for your race." "And I mean that from the bottom of my heart, I'll say that to you." "I see you didn't get the red sweater." "She probably left it in another bedroom." "You know, she had a little problem with promiscuity." "Well, I'll be going." "So I'll call you, we'll have lunch." "Mr Lyman, Sir, Mr Spencer has been here, and he's been into the music room." "What do you mean?" " A most unusual sequence of events." "Mr Spence came by looking for his daughter's sweater, said she'd requested it." "Next thing I knew, he was in the music room." "Sir, I think he'd been drinking, from his behavior." "Yes, yes." "OK, Margaret." "Thank you." "Good-bye." "Is everything OK?" "Yes." "Yes, it will be." "It's so nice to be out here with you." "Just away from the rest of the world..." " Yes, I" "I often come out here to read." "And fish." "There's trout in the lake." "What are you thinking about?" " You really want to know?" "Yes." "Just how ironic life is, and tragic." " Why?" "That I met you by rescuing you from drowning, found you totally enchanting," "and now we have come full cycle, and at last you're going to have to drown." "What?" "Well, I imagine, by now Sidney's confirmed that I killed Betty Gibson." "In my own defence, there really was no other way out." "First I managed to hide my identity from her." "But I saw her too many times over the year, so she learned who I was, and that became a constant demand for money, and I could not let that go on, could I?" "I mean, my whole life and career would be hostage to her moods at all times." "So, I started the Tarot case, I rehearsed my plan, and, well, you know the rest." "If you do something to me, Sidney is gonna find out!" "He'll tell someone!" "No, no." "You see, you will go in a boating accident, and Sidney will go later tonight." "No-one knows of your relationship with him." "Because after all, you're not actually father and daughter, are you?" "And no-one will think twice to investigate the death of someone who was killed..." "Are you listening?" "No-one will investigate the death of some obscure vaudevillian called Splendini who was really a stranger to me." "Help!" "Someone help me!" "It's very quiet, isn't it?" "This is the advantage of a private lake." "Get off me!" "Get off me!" "Ah, yes." "Police." "Yes, this is Peter Lyman." "I need the police immediately." "At the Lyman estate." "I know." "There's been a terrible boating accident." "A woman has drowned." "It's awful." "Please come rightaway." "Thank you." "Thank you." "I think I know where the body is." "So sorry, Sir." "The last time I saw her," "she said she wanted to go out there to communicate with Nature." "She wanted her peace and quiet, and..." "She wasn't depressed or anything like that, Sir?" " God, no." "I mean, unless she was keeping it from me, I..." "You haven't heard cries for help?" "No, I was listening to music, didn't hear them." "It's just so ironic because of the way I've met her." "I rescued her from drowning in our club pool, and she was a very very weak swimmer." "Hello!" "I was faking it at the pool to get your attention." "Actually, I used to be captain of the Brooklyn community swim team." "A fascinating observation." "Lyman lost the cuff link at the flat of a prostitute who was later killed by the Tarot card killer." "Well, this upright chap certainly enjoyed patronizing some dodgy women." "Unfortunately for Elizabeth Gibson, she elected the blackmailing." "It's a beautifully written story." "One of the best bits of investigative journalism on a long time." "This paper is proud to run it." "I have to share the credit with Joe Strombel." "An inspiration who taught me more than I could ever explain to anyone." "And to the late Sidney Waterman, Splendini." "A nice guy who helped out with the investigation, and without whom I never could have made it." "Sidney, wherever you are," "I'll never forget you." "How did you get here?" "Me?" "I couldn't get used to driving on the goddamn wrong side of the street." "You know, I was driving out to the country, and in the U.S. I would have been a hero." "I would have saved her." "But here, you know-- that's the one drawback of living in London." "Granted, the theater's better, there's many good Indian restaurants..." "What did you do?" " What do I do?" "Splendini, magician." "Would you like to see something?" " Yes." " Oh, please!" "Do you have time for a card trick?" "I believe we hav eternity." "I just wanna say from the bottom of my heart sincerely, and I say this with all due respect, you're a wonderful group." "You're a fantastic group of people." "I love you, and I feel that coming back from you." "And you're maybe deceased, but you should not be discouraged." "Because you know, don't think of being dead as a handicap." "You know, when-- when I was a child, I stuttered." "But with stick-to-it-iveness and perseverance, you could never tell what could have happened." "Now would you take a card, Alma." "Take any card you want." "Take it out, sweetheart." "Right, sweetheart." "I love you, sweetheart." "It's fantastic."