"Huh?" "What in the world?" "Kita-san." "Kita-san what are you " "Whyever?" "What in the world?" "Ohatsu." "Two of you?" "Now, three!" "Whyever?" "What in the world?" "What's wrong?" "Why all the screaming?" "I had a bad dream." "There I was fishin' by the river... and a sliding door floated by." "It flipped over before my very eyes." "I was there too, right?" "Aye." "In the flesh." "So it ain't the Yotsuya ghost, huh?" "Then the next thing I know two doors floated by." "Then they flipped over and..." "Then your wife was twins, right?" "Aye." "How'd ya know?" "'Cause that's my dream." "Why?" "I should be asking you "why"?" "Ripping off my dream... that's copyright infringement." "Hey!" "Whatta ya doin'?" "Yaji-san, Yaji-san." "Damnit!" "I told you to stop that shit." "You're silly." "Silly." "Silly, silly, silly." "It's your fault for talking about her!" "Now, whatta ya doin'?" "What else but... get high and check whose dream it was." "Screw you." "You fool." "Fool you." "What the hell?" "Let me go." "Bloody fool!" "Screw you!" "Bloody fool!" "Screw you!" "Bloody fool!" "Screw you!" "Bloody fool!" "Screw you!" "Bloody fool!" "Bloody fool!" "Screw... fool!" "Gotcha." "Kita goofed." "Stop it." "Keep your voice down." "Screw... fool." "I said it on purpose." "Screw... fool." "Hey, hey." "What?" "All of the sudden?" "You surprised me." "Screw you." "Hey." "True love always... hits all of a sudden." "Unexpected?" "Expected." "Kita-san." "Murder!" "A murder!" "Murder!" "A murder!" "R-E-D-R-U-M!" "R-E-D-R-U-M!" "Oh no!" "Oh yes!" "An elephant from the land of barbarians." "Murder!" "See it now or never." "Elephant?" "The eyebrows above this tusk are its weaponry." "Why's it called an elephant?" "Questions?" "Yeah." "You!" "Answer him!" "Don't you know?" "How should I?" "I heard that..." "That?" "It's got big ears." "Oh!" "A long nose and..." "Oh?" "It's a big stinky mouse." "It stinks?" "Close... but no cigar." "Explain." "The eyebrows stink the mo-o-o-st." "But it ain't all bad." "If you touch its long nose, you'll live to be 100." "You kidding?" "Why don't you find out yourself?" "And stop asking me, idiot!" "I've eaten elephant before." "What?" "Ask me no questions, I tell you no lies." "The fins are tasty." "Elephants are sacred messengers of God." "How could you eat one!" "Stop it..." "Get him." "Get him." "Street fight!" "Fights and fires go hand in hand with Edo men." "Shut your mouth, you asshole." "Hey Yaji-san." "Why are Edo men... so damn phony?" "Running at the mouth." "Like verbal diarrhea." "You think if I hang out with them, I'll turn phony too?" "This debt notice ain't no phony." "Get real." "Who'd hang out with an indebt junkie like you?" "Yaji-san..." "I can't make heads or tails of reality." "I have to go on living but I'm always high and in bed." ""ISE SANCTUARY"" "To live, I need drugs." ""REALITY IS OUT HERE"" "To do drugs, I need money." "If living like this until I die is reality... then I've had enough." "Who needs that kind of reality." "Wanna take a pilgrimage to Ise?" "Ise-san?" "Ise Sanctuary." "If we go to Ise, you'll be cured of being a junkie." "REALITY..." "IS OUT HERE." "Yaji in da house." "We'll go to Ise and be one with the world." "Get that monkey off my back." "Boo-yaa word!" "Why you talking strange?" "We're just buggin'." "Words like "bloody fool" can't scrap a lick." "We 'bout not being dated." "Kick drugs, come correct." "Down with living positive." "Peace." "L-Town Paradise, l-S-E Respect." "Ya dig?" "Dig?" "That ain't close to reality." "Kita-san!" "Let's go." "We've never set one foot out of Edo." "Let's see the world." "You might discover a new you." "Find myself?" "A journey of discovery." "Boring." "Huh?" "That ain't reality." "It's no fun as long as you're married." "Besides... my dealer is coming today." "Screw that!" "Backdrop!" "Forget my wife!" "Let me go." "I, I, I wanna take a trip with you." "I just got to." "Let... me... go." "Screw you!" "Bloody fool!" "Screw you!" "Those junkies are at it again." "Come out or we're coming in." "That's telling them." "What's with you?" "Huh?" "I'm so high." "You coming or not?" "It'll be too dangerous all by yourself." "Traveling the Tokaido Highway with you... is bound to be fun." "Screw you." "Bloody fool." "Now get packed." "A journey to yourself, oh yeah" "A journey to reality" "Taking no women or kids" "'Cause we're born to be..." "GAY!" "Piss off you blabbermouth Edo boys" "Our reality is far out West" " Screw you!" " Bloody fool" "Head out on the Tokaido Highway, baby" "Lookin' for Ise adventure, maybe" "Head out on the Tokaido Highway, baby" "YAJI AND KITA, THE MIDNIGHT PILGRIMS" "Head out on the Tokaido Highway, baby" "Lookin' for Ise adventure, maybe" "Halt!" "What, what?" "Don't ask me." "Trouble?" "Yes?" "Don't yes me." "Guess how many KPH you were going." "KPH?" "100 KPH." "That's 60 over the limit." "Sorry." "Some speed trap!" " We're sorry." " You got a problem boy?" "!" "No, we're sorry." "I mean..." "Yes?" "What era is it?" "What era?" "Where're you from?" "From?" "We're from Edo." "Edo?" "Edo." "Then get walking." "Walk?" "Edo men have always walked this road." "So what's with the motorcycle?" "Riding high huh?" "Ouch!" "What're ya shooting?" "A film." "Speak up boy." "A film." "A movie." "Yeah, a movie." "Title?" "Yaji and Kita, the Midnight Pilgrims." "Never heard of it." "Who's starring?" "Yaji and..." "Starring Tomoya Nagase Shichinosuke Nakamura Yaji and..." "Starring Tomoya Nagase Shichinosuke Nakamura" "Starring Tomoya Nagase Shichinosuke Nakamura" " Kita." " Who?" "Starring Tomoya Nagase Shichinosuke Nakamura" "Starring Tomoya Nagase Shichinosuke Nakamura Kita." "Starring Tomoya Nagase Shichinosuke Nakamura" "Starring Tomoya Nagase Shichinosuke Nakamura Are they famous?" "Are they famous?" "So so." "Anyway walk back to Edo and start over." "Huh?" "Get real." "Do we have to?" "Really?" "For an Edo boy, you talk like a girl." "Walk back?" "That's impossible." "No, no, no." "I said, "Walk"!" "LAUGH INN" "Feeling fine, eh?" "Feeling fine." "Cheer up, Kita." "I'm always cheerful." "This feels great, eh?" "Not a cloud in the sky." "Feeling fine." "You boys are real chummy." "Damnit." "Not chummy." "We're gay." "We love men more than 3 square meals." "We're two homos madly in love." "I got one, Kita-san." "This is fun." "Hey!" "What gives?" "!" "Hey." "Jump up and down." "Not now." "I said, "Jump"!" "Oh, oh, oh." "Higher." "I keep this 'til we get to Ise." "No problem, right?" "Well I..." "Uh-huh?" "OK." "OK, shall we go Kita-san?" "OK." "Sorry to hurt you." "Oh, Kita-san." "Wanna skip?" "Skip?" "Sure." "You're not skipping." "You're good." "Wow." "This place is filled with our fellow men." "All makin' love in the afternoon." "What the " "Oh madam, can we get a room?" "Please leave." "Whyever?" "Travelers, this is a laugh inn." "No stand up comedy, no room." "You'll never pass the checkpoint." "I'm Samu-rai." "I'm Ke-rai." "Together we're Sam Kerai." "Get it?" "Now that's funny." "Sam Kerai's..." ""The Invisible Man"" " Hey, hey." " Yeah?" "I invented something groovy." "Groovy?" " Drink this and..." " And?" "You'll be invisible." "No way." "Yes way." "Then drink it." "Fine then." "And invisible man?" "Groovy idea but..." "No way." "Hey!" "No way." "Come back." "Oh no." "Where are you?" "The dorm." "Two for the dorm." "Not the dorm again." "But we've improved." "What the heck was that?" "The inspections for "incoming weapons and outgoing women"... were strict enough at the outposts." "But the new head watchman, Kimura Chuckles made them even stricter." "MAKE ME LAUGH!" "You need a sense of humor to pass." "And he shows no mercy even on samurai." "Oh me, me!" "Go." "Do you know why old kings never die?" "They just get throne away." "Yamada-kun." "Yes." "3 stones." "Wait." "Get it?" "Throne away." "Thrown away." "Make it four." "That's why... everyone finds a partner and works on their act." "So they're not gay?" "So who's the straight man and who's the comic?" "Neither." "I'm Yaji; he's Kita." "Kita!" "What's wrong?" "Get with it!" "Drugs." "I need my fix." "What the?" "What the?" "Snap out of it." "Come on straight man play off his humor." "He's having withdrawals, idiot." "Stop laughing." "He's come!" "Lord Kimura's here." "Bow down." "Bow down." "Bow down." "Bow down." "Quarterback sneak!" "Chill out." "Earth to Kita-san!" "Wow!" "A samba carnival!" "Everybody samba." "Take a good look." "It's a daimyo's procession." "All I see are TAMIYA 1/35 scale models." "Who's Tamiya?" "What now?" "Office ladies." "OLs on their lunch hour." "Where do you wanna eat?" "How about pasta?" "Bring me udon flour." "He'll boil you alive." "Flour." "That new hairdo is so you." "The bitch stepped on my model." "G.I. Jane." "Look drugs." "Sweet!" "Snort it up." "Kita-san." "Forgive me." "That's funny!" "Excellent comic timing!" "What's your name?" "Yajirobe." "And he's Kitahachi." "Lord Kimura!" "Heard this one?" "Ninja arts... my... my... private parts." "You peasant!" "Yajirobe and Kitahachi, eh?" "See you at the checkpoint." "Ace of hearts." "That smarts." "By fits and " "Starts!" "Hi, I'm Yaji." "And I'm Kita." "Together we're..." "Together... we're?" "Together we're Yaji-Kita." "Get it?" "No, I can't rip off their joke." "Who's there?" "What's so funny?" "What's so funny?" "More, more." "Laugh it up." "Laugh." "Laugh." "OK..." "And cut." "The next set up is this way." "Please watch your step." "Where you going?" "Over here." "Over where?" "Everybody with me?" "Watch your step." "We're running late." "Over here." "Here." "This seat's open." "Ready?" "Here's the scene." "Well if it ain't me when I was a kid?" "Stupid, stupid." "Sissy, sissy." "Now laugh!" "Keep laughing." "Laugh." "Quit laughing." "Don't laugh." "Don't laugh." "Quiet." "If you laugh, he'll..." "Look, you made him cry." "Don't laugh." "Quit laughing!" "Stop it!" "Stop..." "laughing." "They're non-union." "Laugh it up." "You're all right." "Honey." "Honey." "Wake up... honey!" "I saw him." "Saw him?" "Saw who?" "The God of Laughter." "Kita-san." "The God of Laughter helped me." "Luck is on our side." "The God of Laughter is on our side." "Sure, sure." "Whatever." "Huh?" "Be patient." "Hold out until Ise." "No!" "I wasn't hallucinating." "I saw it with my own eyes." "Screw you." "Ouch!" "There's no God of Laughter." "He ain't on our side." "Don't pull!" "Don't... ouch!" "Ouch?" "Ouch." "Does is hurt?" "This is your reality." "There's no God." "Your nuts hurt?" "Yes?" "!" "This is your reality." "You got it?" "I got it." "You got it?" "I got it." "Still need convincing?" "Oh... sorry." "Sorry." "Sorry." "My bad." "I love you Kita." "That's my reality." " I got it." "I got it." " Really?" " I got it." " You sure?" "Wanna pull mine?" "No thanks." "I'm not angry." "Don't worry." "Hey!" "Outta our way." "Stop your skipping." "Why?" "Never mind." "Screw you." "Screw who?" "Hello again." "Begin." "Hi, I'm Yaji and..." "Well, it's Spring again." "Hey, Kita-san." "Kita." "Can February March?" "No, but April may." "But April May." "Hey, what in the world?" "Whyever, whyever?" "Drugs, drugs." "Stop it!" "Stop." "I said stop!" "Yamada." "Yes?" "A junkie, eh?" "No, he's going to Ise to kick his habit." "He hasn't gotten high since Edo." "Right?" "No junkies allowed." "DENIED" "Stop." "Hey funnyman... you passed." "PERMITTED" "No." "Stop it." "Let me go." "Kita-san." "I have to be with Kita-san." "Let me go." "Stop it!" "Stop it." "Why in the world!" "Let me go!" "Kita-san." "Let me go." "Stop." "Screw you." "He's gone." "Kita's gone." "Mind blowing." "Naniwa Hot at your service!" "Hot, hot, smokin' hot." "I'm just getting warmed up." "Mind blowing." "Mind you." "Hey." "Who's he?" "Master Naniwa Hot." "He's taking his hot act to Edo." "Oh!" "?" "Good luck." "Why?" "Get lucky." "Nice one." "Good luck." "Screw you." "W-w-wait." "The best is yet to come." "Hot, hot, smokin' hot." "What gives?" "What're ya doing?" "Doing?" "I got denied." "And I can't go back to Osaka." "My partner went on ahead." "Partner?" "Yeah." "You see a brat about this high?" "Hey buddy!" "You seen my dad?" "Hey buddy!" "Hey are you crying?" "I may not look it but I'm a pretty famous comedian." "First I was Naniwa Hotcake, then Hot Milk." "Then Hotcarpet and Hotpants." "And Hotplate when I paired with my wife." "And Hot, Hotter, Hottest as a trio." "Now with my son, Hot Sandwich." "Mind blowing." "Who's on first?" "Hot, hot, smokin' hot." "Been doing those gags for 18 years." "I made them mine." "They're my trademark." "But my son wanted to ride an elephant." "And I wanted to try my act in Edo." "What's with you?" "You feel OK?" "You gotta pee?" "I won't." "Won't?" "Kita gave up drugs but..." "I didn't give up anything." "I want to understand how he feels." "I'll give up pissing." "You're a riot." "Ya think?" "Wanna pair up with me?" "No..." "I can't." "I can't without Kita." "Shoguns may come and go but there's only one Kita." "Sandwich." "That's a mutt." "How cold." "Edo humor is cold, scary, cheap." "Sandwich." "Hey, wait up for... me." "Sandwich." "Your humor is the best." "Sandwich." "Wait..." "Sandwich." "Sandwich, it's me, Dad." "Sandwich..." "It's me, Dad." "It's Dad, Sandwich." "Yaji-san..." "I'm so sorry." "You promised me - no drugs!" "You were here all the time?" "Why run away?" "I don't know." "Give it a rest." "Do you... hate me?" "How could I hate you?" "Then why?" "I missed you so much that... this happened." "F-f-face tumor?" "He's pulling at me." "Yaji's mine!" "Stop it." "Idiot." "You don't understand shit." "Who are you?" "Who are you?" "Welcome to Hakone Checkpoint, Episode 2." "Episode 2?" "Where's Yaji-san?" "There!" "Talk about fresh." "Yaji-san." "It's all mine?" "He's in love with seafood now." "HI cutie." "PAY CHANNEL." "PRESS START." "Start, start." "Press start." "Press start." "Bye." "Wanna see Yaji-san?" "Of course!" "Wanna see your son?" "Yeah." "Wanna go to Ise?" "You bet." "Wanna go to Edo?" "Yes!" "Then, let the Drug Addict Mega Quiz begin." "Hold on." "A quiz?" "What about our jokes?" "Drug Addict " "Mega Quiz!" "Forget applauding on queue." "We'll compete with our jokes." "What a joke." "Screw this quiz stuff." "What the hell?" "Got any parents?" "No." "Got any kids?" "No." "If you squint your eyelids, you can see... mother!" "Question 1." "What's in the box?" "We can see inside." "Drugs, drugs!" "Beautiful drugs." "You promised me - no drugs!" "Oh no!" "No!" "Too close for comfort." "I didn't take them, Yaji-san." "So what's in the box?" "Don't know." "What's in the box?" "Beats me." "What's in the box?" "What's in the box?" " Don't care." " Don't care." "What's in the box?" "What's in the box?" "What's In the box?" "Wanna pass the checkpoint?" "Yeah." "Follow me." "What's In the box?" "What's In the box?" "Sandwich." "Wanna have cake?" "Yeah, I do." "Then here you go." "Delicious." "Eat up son." "Oops!" "PERMITTED" "Yaji-san." "Kita-san." "How'd you pass the checkpoint?" "Don't know." "I don't know but..." "I kept our promise." "You did." "Was I good?" "Did I do good?" "Great!" "Was I good?" "You did great!" "Good boy." "Mind blowing." "Dad..." "Well done!" "Hot, hot, smokin' hot!" "Hot, hot, smokin' hot!" "I'm just getting warmed up!" "Who's on first?" "PLEASURE INN" "Wanna skip?" " You sure?" " Yeah." "Let's skip." "Here we go." "Skipping with Yaji-san." "EU-RE-KA!" "Eureka!" "Inspector Kin-kin." "This way." "Kin-kin!" "Wanna eat?" "What's shaking?" "Hey Cro-Magnon jaw." "Over here monkey face." "Outta his way." "You game?" "Eureka!" "Here it is." "OK." "Hey Non-no?" "That's me." "She's been murdered." "It's a murder." "What did you call it earlier?" "A macho dinner party." "This ain't no party!" "Shut up." "How careless of me." "Don't let it happen again." "Who owns this house?" "Mr. Yajirobe." "Hey Kita-san." "How long you gonna rest?" "Bloody fool." "Relax." "It's not like... we're wanted men." "Why don't you enjoy the view?" "Have it your way." "So where's Yajirobe now?" "On a pilgrimage to Ise." "Alone?" "No, with his partner..." "Kitahachi." "Mafia Boss Jiro's pleasure is our pleasure." "Mafia Boss Jiro's pleasure is..." "Who goes there?" "Who goes there?" "I am called..." "Kitahachi, born and raised in Edo." "Get real." "What a lame name!" "What's with that hair color?" "Stop goggling!" "Why?" "We're Jiro's Pleasure Team." "Jiro's what?" "His what?" "Boss Shimizu Jiro is coming by... on his way to Edo." "This BBS says so." "So we're waiting for him." "Mafia Boss Jiro's pleasure is our pleasure." "Thanks to him, our harvest was a bumper crop." "Thanks to him, I lost 8 kilos." "Ah 1, 2..." "Who goes there?" "Is Boss Jiro that sexy?" "You mean you haven't seen him?" "But the rumor is he's quite manly... and he's very strong." "Strong, strong, is his theme song!" "Nice one!" "Jiro'd love it." "He'd flip." "He'd flip." "I don't get it but it looks fun." "Just follow us." "Come on." "Join us." "Mafia Boss Jiro's pleasure Is our pleasure." "Come on macho boy." "Eat your carrots." "Chow down." "You're still growing." "Chow down." "You're the youngest, so eat up." "Kitahachi is a washed-up actor." "Then he must be gay." "He is." "How gay?" "Ouch, ouch." "And he's using drugs banned by the shogunate." "A faggot junkie?" "Tangled in a love triangle, eh?" "Eureka!" "I'll lay odds that he's the one who killed Ohatsu." "Non-no?" "Yes sir!" "Too tall!" "Stand down!" "We're off to Ise." "Off to Ise." "This way!" "Let's eat." "A lefty?" "You a southpaw too?" "How about dessert?" "Don't rush us." "We're eating!" "I see." "Mafia Boss Jiro's pleasure is our pleasure." "Mafia Boss Jiro's..." "Kita-san." "Kita-san." "Hey Kita." "Who goes there?" "No, no, no." "He's not Jiro." "He's my companion." "What's with those clothes?" "Pretty girly, huh?" "Girly?" "A girl." "Girly Kita." "Yaji-san, here." "Sweet as honey, honey." "Wanna join our pleasure team?" "Your what?" "They're fans of some mafia boss named Jiro." "Right?" "Whyever?" "Where'd all your high tension go?" "But he's so..." "Stop being so silly." "Do you... have a steady?" "A 'steady'?" "What's a steady?" "Who's that over there?" "Oh him?" "We met on the road." "Come here." "Poor guy got robbed by bandits on the way to Edo." "Highway robbery, eh?" "Come on." "You sure?" "Okay then." "What's your name again?" "Shimizu." "What?" "What?" "I'm called Shimizu Jiro." "Shi-mi-zu?" "Shimizu Jiro!" "Get happy!" "Jiro's here." "Now sing!" "Yaji's pleasure is our pleasure." "Shut up." "He's angry." "They fancy you." "They do?" "I want you all to myself." "Hey!" "Stop it." "Go for it, bloody fools!" "Wait for me!" "SINGING INN" "How huge!" "How long are you gonna " "All day long." "That's Fuji." "It's only a mountain." "Shut up." "Whoh, an echo." "You try screaming." "I'll pass." "Come on, scream." "I'm fine." "Fine." "So scream." "OK you loudmouth." "I need my fix!" "Keep your voice down." "Is that all you think about?" "I could admire this view forever." "Right Kita?" "You're not listening, are you?" "You okay?" "Butt out." "I... can't... carry... a... t-u-n-e." "You talk funny." "Oyuki!" "Don't sing off key." "Come on... music!" "Welcome." "Whoa, welcome." "Tea, green tea" "Shizuoka's famous rows of tea" "Yeah-Yeah" "Drink all you want" "It's free" "Yeah-Yeah" "Hey travelers, you Edo boys" "Wanna eat some sushi?" "Hey travelers, ever been to Thailand?" "Wanna cut your balls off?" "Shall I give you a sex change too?" "You're in the mecca of green tea" "Yoshiwara City in Shizuoka" "Thank you." "Wow!" "A song with a cup of tea." "How about an encore?" "Don't." "He's wheezing." "I'm dead." "You OK daddy?" "Daddy?" "One more cup." "Come on... music." "Not being able to sing is nothing to worry about." "Not around here." "Meaning?" "According to legend... singing clears up the weather around Mt." "Fuji." "The burning mountain, please come back" "Burn baby burn, disco Inferno" "Somewhere over the rainbow" "Love lifts us up where we belong" "But... when I sing..." "Mt." "Fuji hides in the haze." "It did." "It hazed over." "You again!" "What should... we do?" "Nothing." "She can't carry a tune in a bucket." "But... don't you think... it's sad?" "Talk normal will you?" "I am... talking... normal." "Kita-san!" "What the fuck!" "Stop it." "Stop it." "Ouch." "Stop it." "You in love with that chick?" "Dinner show." "Don't change the subject!" "We'll host a dinner show... in that temple back there." "Screw that." "Backdrop!" "Bloody fool!" "Lariat!" "I want Oyuki to cheer up." "Faith can... move mountains." "She can sing." "You in?" "A dinner show!" "No drugs?" "Drugs?" "Wanna get high instead?" "No." "The dinner show's more important." "What's wrong?" "Don't do that." "Your crying makes me sick." "So what if it does." "I'm happy." "I'm... so... happy." "I gotcha." "I wonder in the middle of the night" "Should I keep on living?" "Should I use the hot springs?" "Should I sleep on a futon?" "This song's a hit." "To the top." "This rocks." "It'll sell big." "All right!" "Yeah!" "But when our bones are aching, we fall to sleep" "TOWERPHONOGRAPHS" "Did you call us?" "Did you call us?" "Yaji and Kita, the Midnight Pilgrims" "Hey Kita." "Kitahachi." "We're No.1 on the hit chart three weeks running!" "No way." "Ranked right up with the sumo champion." "She stinks." "You know... making it to the top is pretty meaningless." "I know the feeling." "Get back." "You stink." "You stink big time." "Stop it." "She's getting better." "Don't mind him." "Let's practice." "How about a drink to celebrate our fame?" "Oyuki, this shamisen... might help you sing better." "OK." "You're too close." "Too close." "Yaji and Kita, the Midnight Pilgrims" "How fun!" "Yaji and Kita, the Midnight Pilgrims" "Yaji and Kita, the Midnight Pilgrims" "Yaji and Kita" "At least he's sober." "Yaji, Kita." "Yaji, Kita." ""ISE SANCTUARY"" "Yaji-san!" "Yaji-san?" "It's Ise." "I told you we'd make it." "Hurry up." "Slow down." "Yaji X Kita in da house." "Yaji-san!" "Kita-san!" "The festival flutes are calling" "Yaji-san!" "Kita-san!" "The taiko drums pound in the distance" "Ohhh..." "Strum away the state of the world" "Foxes and raccoons trick everyone around" "The frozen metro polls goes donn-zoko donn-zoko" "The taiko drums pound in the distance" "You're mine now." "Quit horsing around." "Forgive me." "Sure, they were junkies but they didn't look like criminals." "Whatever you can remember is fine." "Come to think of it, when I went to clean the bath..." "How's the water?" "There's no God." "Your nuts hurt?" "Pulling on your lover's nuts is bizarre." ""Such a bizarre lad."" "I'll say the line like that." "Want a banana?" "Yes, yes, yes." "Suck it." "Suck it." "Excuse me." "What?" "Excuse me." "What now?" "Bearded Courtesan's Best Hits!" "Already?" "My bad." "This one." "Wait!" "Show me that." "I liked the cover." "Don't let it happen again." "Yaji Kita!" "What?" "It's them." "Yaji and Kita." "Criminals putting out a record?" "They've got nerve offending a playboy like me." "Eureka!" "Non-no." "Too tall!" "Stand down!" "Perfect size!" "Let's have a listen." "Yes sir." "Not that one." "Not that one." "Play the Bearded Courtesan." "How cute?" "I love her." "Court, Court" "Courtesan" "Courtesan, the bearded courtesan" "Courtesan under the Sun" "My son is a courtesan" "You can't sing." "A courtesan In a school uniform" "A decomposing corpse courtesan" "Meet my perverted fan club" "Court, court, courtesan" "Night, night, night courtesan" "I was singing harmony." "Look at that." "Non-no." "Calm down." "Inspector?" "Inspector?" "Inspector?" " What happened?" " Oh no." "A mass suicide." "Don't guess." "Investigate." "It's murder." "How'd you know?" "Evidence." "Look." "YAJIROBE" "He's a cold-blooded serial killer." "I'm scared." "Calm down." " I'm scared." " It's okay." " Inspector." " Non-no." "DINNER SHOW" "Damn it." "Oyuki!" "It's you." "Take a good look." "Tomorrow you sing there." "Oh you want Kita?" "I'll go wake him up." "I..." "Please use this." "Whyever?" "Huh?" "Ya-za..." "Ya-ji-san." "Oh me?" "Thanks." "Like this?" "Yo baby." "Where's Kita's?" "Nothing?" "I can't accept this." "Kita and I are lovers." "Two hearts entwined." "I know." "Oyuki." "Yaji-san... tomorrow... please... sing... a duet... with me." "What's a duet?" "Whyever?" "Whyever?" "What in the world?" "Yaji-san, Yaji-san." "Look." "Mt." "Fuji's red." "Yep." "How beautiful." "Mt." "Fuji in all its glory." "It's only a mountain." "You say something?" "Nothing." " Kita-san." " Yaji-san." "What?" "Sorry but... can you plug your ears?" "Sure." "I love Oyuki." "Done?" "You finished?" "No echo." "There's no echo." "Screw you Fuji." "You're no fun." "I love Oyuki." "There's your echo." "Let's go." "Go on ahead." "I love Oyuki!" "Let's go, Kita." "I love Oyuki!" "Stop it." "Where's the echo?" "Answer me Fuji!" "Have you forgotten that you're a gay junkie?" "I love Oyuki!" "Aren't you coming to Ise?" "Go by yourself." "My gay and drug problems will be solved... with Oyuki by my side." "To me..." "Oyuki is my Ise!" "I want to express my feelings for you" "Whyever?" "You can take away my make up but never take me away." "Oh no!" "I want to express my feelings for you" "Oyuki." "Did you hear me?" "You did?" "Of course, you did." "I'm madly in love with you." "After the show tomorrow, I'm hitting the road." "No, I'm not." "Off to Ise... with Yaji." "I " "Wait." "Wait, wait." "It's my first time." "The sunset or the mountains and their beauty." "It's all new to me." "I can't." "I want to be closer." "Help me." "I love you so, so much." "Reality... scares me." "I..." "I..." "love..." "Yaji-san." "Forgive me..." "Kita-san." "I'm sorry." "Kita-san, I... feel... in..." "l-l-love with Yaji... and... can't... get... back." "Kita-san." "Hold out until Ise." "How fab." "You found lots and lots." "But I'll never eat all these... magic mushrooms." "What if I?" "Like Alice... down the rabbit hole." "You don't say?" "Wanna try?" "No, thank you." "But he will." "Our bones are aching" "But when our bones are aching, we fall to sleep" "Oyuki learned to sing." "Did she?" "So that's why Fuji is clear today." "Yes." "Not a cloud in the sky." "Yaji-san." "Oyuki." "That ain't my reality." "Whyever?" "Whyever?" "Kita-san!" "You're late." "The dinner show's rockin'." "Let me introduce... our vocalist." "Ouch!" "Ouch!" "That hurts." "What are you doing?" "Tasty?" "He's so happy his eyes are dancing." "Hey Kita-san." "I want some too." "You okay?" "Get up on stage." "Get a move on." "KING'S INN" "KING'S INN" "Wow." "I'm glad we came." "More tea bitch!" "Come on... music." "Stop singing every time." "I've had it up to here." "You've had 10 cups." "Hey master." "Ochin!" "Yeah, yeah?" "I heard Fuji is most beautiful from here." "What's that?" "It was beautiful." "But those hooligans..." "Hooligans?" "Yeah." "Yaji and Kita, the Midnight Pilgrims." "Ah!" "Yaji and Kita!" "Non-no." "No, no, no." "Yaji and Kita were here?" "Were they?" "She won't speak because of them." "Hey." "Inspector!" "What's a lady doing listening to the radio in the Edo period?" "Radio head Granny." "Radio head Granny?" "She talks like a radio so we call her that." "One in 50,000 suffer from this." "You crusty, dying hag." "Look who's talking!" "Good luck." "Oh a youngster." "What's your name?" "Uh, Yajirobe." " Who's he?" " Kitahachi." "If you're going then eat some yam juice." "Really." "It'll liven you up." "Eureka!" "Non-no!" "Yes sir." "You framed out." "We're off." "Mariko is this way." "This way." "Non-no, my manly throne." "Bring it!" "My manly throne!" "How careless of me." "Wait for me." "Yaji-san, Kita-san." "Yaji-san, Kita-san." "Kita-san..." "Damnit." "I messed up the order." "Do the wave." "Whyever?" "Whyever?" "It came back." "Look alive Kita." "Let's go." "Cheer up." "Come on." "We're attached at the wrist here." "Behold King Arthur!" "King Arthur!" "Behold King Arthur!" "King Arthur!" "Good morning." "I'm King Arthur, knight of the round table." "Behold the legendary sword that severs DNA..." "Excalibur." "Who will extract the sword?" "Me." " Name?" " Kata#$ %" " What?" " Katagai." " Mr. Katagai?" " Yes." " Impossible." " Too bad, Mr. Katagai." "He lacks spirit." "Ignorant peasants!" "Drink my yam juice and be revived!" "Vitality!" "Vitality!" "Grow strong, grand ma." "Drink up!" "What do you say, Kita-san?" "I hate yam juice." "Makes me itch." "What'd you say?" "My juice won't make you itch." "Gimme some, King Arthur!" "Don't piss me off boy." "Hey, it's delicious Kita." "Real tasty." "It'll liven you up." "What?" "Itchy." "Itchy." "He's itching." "You didn't drink any." "It itches." "Stop laughing." "Kita, you okay?" "Hey!" "Stop it!" "Calm down." "Hold out until Ise." "Shut up." "Shut up." "Kita-san..." "You're always meddling with people." "Pretending you know them." "But we're one in the same." "You ain't me!" "You... don't know shit about me." "What?" "Everybody says, Yaji-san and Kita-san, Yaji and Kita." "Can't just one of them call us Kita and Yaji!" "You'll ruin everything." "Bloody fool!" "Screw you!" "He did it." "Stop." "What " "Yaji-san?" "Why?" "You dead?" "Hey, Yaji-san." "King Arthur!" "Do something!" "I'm just a humble yam farmer." "Shit." "THE END" "What gives?" "You got a complaint?" "Yeah, a big one." "That ain't my reality." "'Course not." "It's a movie." "Next in the double feature is Ben-Hur." "Back it up!" "Rewind and show it again." "Not staying for Ben-Hur?" "I love Yaji-san." "Oh Oyuki!" "Oyuki, you're so cute." "Kita-san, I... feel... in..." "l-l-love with Yaji-san... and... can't get... back" "She can finally sing." "Kita-san." "Hold out until Ise." "Fuck off." "You're always meddling " "It's different from before." "It's the director's cut." "This is how you killed him." "It's a lie." "It's no lie." "You were too high to remember." "Everybody says, Yaji-san and Kita-san or Yaji and Kita." "Can't just one of them call us Kita and Yaji!" "No way." "I don't believe you." "It's not my reality." "Boring." "Reality is boring." "Poor baby." "Without realizing he was dead... he kept traveling with you." "He loved you that much." "Yaji-san." "Forgive me." "Wanna see him?" "Yes." "I want to." "Then trick yourself." "Convince yourself he's alive." "Then you'll see him." "For a junkie like you... it'll be easy, right?" "Take the drugs and you'll ruin everything." "Hey... that's deep." "Really deep." "You can't come over here." "Why not?" "You're dead." "You died." "Stop messing with me." "Who are you anyway?" "Datsueba:" "The clothes thief demon." "Datsueba?" "You got killed by Kita." "You lie." "Kita-san would never do that." "This is the famous River Styx." "Go over there and rest in peace." "Don't cry." "I can't rest in peace." "I can't." "I promised." "I promised Kita-san we'd go to Ise." "I want to travel more and more with him." "You can't cheat death." "That's the rule." "Death?" "Hey Kita, over here!" "Forgive me Yaji-san." "Forgive me." "Yaji-san, traveling alone is too painful." "Yaji's alive." "Yaji's alive." "He's alive, alive, alive." "Can February March?" "No, but April May." "You with me?" "Hang on to your hat." "What?" "We're at Ise." "No, it's Shinjuku." "It's like heaven." "For pedestrians, right?" "There it is." "Ise-san!" "That's..." "Ise-tan department store." "Oh, sorry." "Yeah, it's Ise." "Ise-tan..." "I mean Ise-san." "Let's go inside." " Huh?" "You got better?" " Yep." "Huh?" "We're here." "Let's go." "Come on, Kita-san." "This ain't Ise-san." "It's phonier than Edo." "You're funny." "I'll back you up." " Bloody fool." " Screw you." "Bloody fool." "Screw you." "You ain't Yaji-san." "Get real." "Out of drugs, huh?" "Get high." "Get high." "Yaji-san would never say that." "Sorry." "I'm not really Yaji." "Then who are you?" "Four-ji." "Bloody fool." "Are you awake?" "What'll you have?" "Yaji-san." "Yaji-san, Yaji-san, Yaji-san..." "Sorry, we don't serve that drink." "Not a drink." "He's my lover I killed." "A rendezvous?" "Rendezvous?" "Oh, yeah." "Waiting for someone." "I won't move until he comes." "Oh, Kita-san." "Kitahachi." "Kita Kita." "Kita Honey." "Kita Baby." "Wanna ride?" "A ride?" "Where to?" "The source of the River Styx." "The source?" "You don't want to cross." "And you can't go back." "So how about going up?" "Check the map?" "Look here." "The river divides life and death, right?" "So if we go to the source, life and death might be connected." "Whatever you say." "You're smart." "Datsueba of the River Styx." "A regular Saibaba." "Wait for me, Kita-san!" "Between night and morning" "Between men and women" "How beautiful." "Between reality and dreams" "Between this world and that world" "There are various "betweens" but" "For your dead lover..." "A butterfly cocktail." "Or between me and you" "Damn it." "All is darkness, all is dark" "Yaji and Kita, the Midnight Pilgrims" "Shit." "Walk?" "It's dark." "And scary." "Dark and scary." "Scary." "Scary." "And dark, dark." "What's that?" "Nirvana Harbor." "Otherwise called Nirvana Un-healthy Spa." "SOUL'S INN" "WELCOME" "You don't see that everyday." "How many kids are in their family?" "They're not people." "They're souls like you." "Souls, huh." "The same as me?" "Souls separated from their flesh." "They cross the River Styx." "And vanish in the darkness." "Cheers!" "Before that... they have fun one last time." "I did It my way" "Here's your chicken." "I didn't order." "But..." "Icky!" "You'll be like them soon." "I'll go look for the source." "Don't move a muscle." "I won't." "Darn." "I lost weight again." "Rule violation!" "30 grams?" "Bless my soul." "Yaji-san?" "Yeah." "Who are you?" "Can't you tell?" "No." "You all look the same to me." "That makes me sad." "No way." "Mind blowing." "Hot, hot, smokin' hot." "Oh, Master Hot." "How's life?" "My body got burned but my soul is fine." "Hot, hot, smokin' hot." "Meet my partner." "Partner?" "We're doing stand up together." "Check our act?" "Show me." "Go for it." "Mind blowing." "Naniwa Hot here." "Go Hot!" "Mind blowing." "Who am I again?" "You're Cool." "Cool." "You ordered the chicken, right?" "And who are you?" "I'm Hot." "Who's on first?" "Huh?" "Who's on first?" "I'm sorry I messed up." "Darn." "I gotta find a new partner." "Are we gonna vanish like that too?" "Not me." "I don't wanna vanish." "Hey bartender, this drink is damn strong." "Is it now?" "Yeah..." "I can see my dead lover." "Kita-san." "Are you Yaji-san?" "No, I'm a fake Yaji-san." "You're dreaming of your lover." "Fine with me." "Give the fake Yaji-san whatever I'm drinking." "And some pretzels and chocolates." "Chocolates and then some..." "Sir." "Listen carefully." "Bringing back your lover takes great concentration." "If you lose focus over chocolates, he'll disappear." "Now concentrate." "Think only about your lover." "Screw you!" " Hey." "Yaji-san!" " Screw you!" " Yaji-san!" " Screw you!" "Yaji-san?" "Screw you!" "Yaji-san." "Screw you." "Whyever?" "What in the world?" "I made the fake Yaji come to life by concentrating." "That you did." "I'll have that drink now!" "Bartender!" "Gimme a round of " "What's with you?" "Actually, I died a while back." "So somebody must be thinking about you, huh?" "My wife." "Magic mushrooms." "Is she asleep?" "Mayumi, Mayumi, you okay?" "Pick up some tofu and eggs on your way home." "Sure honey." "Who's he?" "A customer." "I don't wanna." "Even after I died, she kept believing I was alive." "Thanks to her thoughts, I can run my bar." "She's half mushroom but..." "She dreams about me." "So, you should keep giving your lover cocktails." "He fell asleep." "He's zonked." "This way." "This way." "OK." "Hold on a sec." "Hmm..." "Oh, that way." "This way, sir." "Hey, Non-no?" "Some Tokaido Highway." "Uh-huh." "If you say, "How careless of me" I'm gonna be pissed." "Stuff it and walk you faggot." "What'd you say?" "How careless of me." "Huh?" "How careless of me!" "Non-no." "Non-no." "Don't do that." "Don't throw my manly throne." "You sure?" "What about this expensive book?" "I told you "don't move"." "This is my pleasure team." "Who goes there?" "Poor girls." "They died because of me." "Hey, Datsueba." "Can they come back to life like me?" "Idiot!" "The walls have ears." "Back to life?" "Back to life?" "Back to life?" "Bath towel?" "Whyever?" "Be quiet." "Let's go." "What in the world?" "Get back!" "Back!" "Hey Datsueba." "I don't want to disappear." "Forgive me!" "Why do you get to come back to life?" "Run." "Get back!" "Back!" "Back!" "What in the world?" " Stay back." " Come here." "What the fuck." "Get back!" "Say something." "No thanks." "Magic trick?" "No thanks." "Hit me again." "Who are you thinking about?" "Why Kita of course." "Yajirobe, Kitahachi!" "You're under arrest for killing Ohatsu and suspicion of other stuff." "Police business." "Louder." "Police business!" "Yeah, official biz!" "Ohatsu?" "Who's she?" "My wife I left back in Edo." "Non-no?" "Yes sir." "Yajirobe and Kitahachi... our warrant says..." "What's that say?" "It says "wife"." "Wife Ohatsu." "Be careful." "Remember... you're his dream." "I understand." "Think only of Kita." "You told him Inspector." "Back off!" "Kita-san..." "Darn it." "I can't get Ohatsu off my mind." "Honey." "Ohatsu." "What's she doing alive?" "What the " "What's that?" "The source of the River Styx." "How could... so you're the source, huh?" "No wonder I can't get past." "Do you recognize me?" "Of course." "A man never forgets his wife's face, no matter how she changes." "For real?" "You're my wife." "Honey." "Long time, no see." "It's been a while." "Is this maggot your lover?" "He is." "Spiteful turd." "Mushroom face husband stealer." "Stop." "Back off." "Stop it." "We're both part of his dream." "If he dies, we vanish too." "Who cares!" "Besides, you died long ago." "He's half mushroom." "He won't die if you cut him." "Behold the legendary sword that severs DNA, Excalibur." "I'm totally lost." "This is the big scene." "I know." "I know." "Ohatsu." "Honey." "Choose." "If she stops crying, the border between life and death will dry up." "But, if she keeps crying, you can't cross over." "I see." "I'll create a diversion and you run over." "Impossible." "Why?" "Well... she's too big." "Besides, it's my fault she's crying." "What are you doing?" "It's midnight." "Washing rice." "Why don't you wash it tomorrow morning?" "Morning's too late." "I have to do it now." "Women... can't live with them." "Can't shoot them." "Will you stop it!" "I have to wash the rice." "Why now?" "I always do it at night." "You were either staying out until morning... or asleep." "You never noticed." "But this way makes the rice taste good." "You lie." "Here's your rice." "Ohatsu." "I'm washing rice." "I'm in love with a man." "But I'll always love you." "But I fell in love." "Sorry, Ohatsu." "Forgive me." "I'm..." "What?" "I'll make miso soup." "Stop it." "Stop." "Let go." "You let go." "Let go." "No." "No!" "No!" "Stop." "Stop." "Honey." "What?" "Don't leave me." "I never said I would." "I can't live without you." "Oh!" "Yeah." "Me too." "Me too." "Really?" "Really." "Really?" "Really." "I saw your life vanish right in front of me." "I couldn't do anything... except watch." "It was scary." "Shameful." "I cried and cried." "So I hit the road." "To stop being serious and live wildly and die wildly." "But I got too wild, and Kita killed me." "Serves me right." "You're selfish." "I'm selfish." "You're a coward." "And a coward." "Ohatsu." "Do you hate me?" "Do you hate Kita?" "How could I possibly." "On the contrary, I want to keep traveling with him." "Telling you this is strange but..." "I want to keep traveling with Kita-san." "Forgive me." "Then I don't hate you." "Don't wake up." "Ohatsu." "Honey." "Kita-san." "What fake Yaji-san?" "It was fun... while it lasted." "Sir." " Outta the way." " She stopped." "We can leap frog to life!" "Go for it." "Yeah." "Damn!" "What the heck?" "Take the shortcut." "I have to cross your butt?" "Hurry." "I still have lots of crying to do." "Datsueba." "Don't ass me." "Phew!" "Stinky!" "Raunchy!" "That stinks!" "Phew!" "Shit, for a soul, how could you fart on me?" "Phew." "Stinky." "Ohatsu." "What's wrong?" "You got old." "I was just imagining my death." "That's a bad omen." "You're older too." "Really?" "I was dreaming." "Enough to last an entire lifetime." "At last I... can't make heads or tails of dreams or reality." "Drink up." "No, I'm done dreaming." "I'll die someday and have to go to the other side." "But you know... death with Yaji wouldn't be so bad." "Sir, sir." "Your friend is here." "Yaji-san." "Oh, Kita..." "long time, no see." "How've you been?" "Where were you?" "I was..." "A lot happened after you killed me." "But I'm fine now." "We can travel together again." "You're a mess." "Yeah." "I fell down." "You stink." "I fell." "I fell in a cesspool." "And got bit by a dog." "Yeah, it hurts." "Why the snake?" "Thought I'd eat it." "Bloody fool." "Screw you." "Bloody fool." "Screw you." "Gimme that hair bun." "Hug me tighter, tighter." "You sure you want me?" "Ouch." "Does it hurt?" "Ouch." "Does it hurt?" "Ouch." "It hurts." "Yaji-san, you're my only reality." "Screw you." "Bloody fool." "Don't eat me." "That's how much I love you." "Does it bother you?" "It doesn't bother me but... those are magic mushrooms." "What?" "Hey Inspector." "Whatcha thinkin' about?" "Elephants." "Elephants?" "Everybody in Edo knows about elephants from the land of barbarians." "Oh, elephants, eh?" "Yaji-san?" "Yeah, Kita-san?" "Are we there yet?" "We're close." "We'll make the Oi River soon." "You sure?" "Don't know." "Don't know at all." "You're no help." "Who cares." "Don't know where we're going or what we're riding." "You know, right?" "Of course." "Elephants, eh?" "Their fins are tasty." "Do you really know?" "You pest!" "Elephants, right?" "Big ears, long nose." "With a place for your hands." "Wheels in front and back." "And goes vroom, vroom, vroom." "That's a motorcycle!" "Screw you!" "Bloody fool!" "STARRING Tomoya Nagase, Shichinosuke Nakamura" "Eiko Koike, Sadawo Abe, Tasuku Emoto" "Aiko Morishita, Ryo Iwamatsu Itsuji Itao, Riki Takeuchi" "Tomomitsu Yamaguchi Yumi Shimizu" "ARATA Yoshiyoshi Arakawa" "Kankuro Nakamura" "From Edo to New York" "Thousands of lights lead the way" "A journey to find yourself?" "Reality is nowhere out there" "I wanna be" "I wanna be... be your fuck 8 or 9 cases out of 10" "I wanna be... be your fuck" "Katsuhisa Namase, Susumu Terajima Nao Omori, Arata Furuta, Suzuki Matsuo" "Kazuo Umezu, Sandayu Dokumamushi Satoshi Tsumabuki, Kumiko Aso" "Naoko Ken" "Oh honey..." "I wanna be... be your fuck" "With samurai compassion" "I wanna be, be, be, be be your fuck" "In all frankness..." "Who goes there?" "A journey to find yourself?" "Reality is nowhere out there" "Original Works by Kotobuki Shiriagari" "Yaji and Kita, The Midnight Pilgrims published by MAGAZINEHOUSE, Ltd." "Yaji and Kita in DEEP published by Enterbrain, Inc." "Yaji and Kita, The Midnight Pilgrims; the novel KAWADE SHOBO SHINSHA, Publishers" "Music by ZAZEN BOYS" "Executive Producers Yasushi Shiina, Julie K. Fujishima" "Masashi Shimamoto, Hiroaki Yoshida Makiko Nagasaka" "Chief Producers Masao Teshima, Shinji Ogawa" "Producers Mitsuru Uda, Yoshinori Fujita" "Cinematography / Toshiyasu Yamanaka" "VE / Hiroyuki Utsuno" "Gaffer / Yoshitaka Shiihara" "Art Director / Katsumi Nakazawa" "Stylist / Daisuke Iga" "Sound Recordist / Kazunori Fujimaru" "Sound Mixer / Kazuharu Urata" "Editor / Soichi Ueno" "VFX Supervisor / Hiromasa Tanaka" "VFX Producer / Fumihiko Sori" "Music Producer / Shin Yasui" "Musical Songs / Taku Tomizawa" "Casting / Isao Terano" "Assistant Directors Akinori Igarashi, Takeo Sugawara" "Production Coordinator Yusuke Wakabayashi" "Produced by Asmik Ace Entertainment, Inc." "J Storm Inc. / CULTURE PUBLISHERS INC." "TYO Productions Inc. / OTONAKEIKAKU, INC" "An Asmik Ace Entertainment Production" "In Association with FELLAH PICTURES Co." "Ltd" "Written and Directed by Kankuro Kudo" "Subtitles by Christian Storms"