"♪ Need a new love?" "♪" "♪ hey, I'm ready ♪" "♪ want my time?" "♪" "♪ and I'm willing, yeah ♪" "♪ 'cause I'm the one ♪" "♪ who's gonna show ♪" "♪ when there's nobody ♪" "♪ I'll be your man ♪" "♪ yeah, I'm the one ♪" "♪ who's gonna show ♪" "♪ when there's nobody ♪" "♪ I'll be your man ♪" "♪ I'll be your man ♪" "♪ all right. ♪" " ( Music playing )" " Get it going." "Come on, lady." "Whoo!" "( Laughs )" " Ray:" "Show me what you got." " Okay, I got nothing." "That's what I'm gonna show you." " Woman:" "You've totally done this before." " Richard!" " Richard, hey hey hey." " Ray:" "I like what I see." "Look at that." "I can do that." " It's all in the ankles." " Ankles?" "I'm so sure." "Richard?" " No no." " I'll show you." "C'mere." " Spin around." " Richard?" " Whoo!" " Richard?" " Damn it." " I'm gonna go see if she's okay, okay?" " You all right?" " Yeah." "Fuck." "Ray, 25 times I've called you." " Did you think it was urgent?" " I texted you back." "Yeah well, "I'm ice-skating with a client"?" "It's not good enough." "We woke up and decided to go out." "What's the big deal?" "So wait, you spent the night..." " with her?" " Yeah." "How-how-- how'd that go?" "It went just fine, Tanya." "She's very nice." "We had a good time." "I think she's sweet." "I fell asleep." "Why?" "Did you have sex with Kyla?" "I'm guessing you didn't, but, uh, you didn't, right?" "Why are you asking me?" " What?" " I" " Would you listen?" "I" " I have" "I have reason to believe that Kyla is a man." "Okay?" "I'm pretty sure she's a man." "Are you outta your mind?" " What reason?" " Lenore told me." "Lenore?" "Ha!" "Yeah." "She's fucking with you." " How do you know?" " I know!" "How do I know?" "( Scoffs ) 'Cause I know." "Lenore is a nutcase." "You" "Everything's fine." "I am sure this lady is a woman." "Okay?" "All right?" "Okay, Ray, if-- if you say so." "Look out, here I come." "Whoo!" "( Ray narrating ) If there's one thing I know in my life, it's a woman when I see one." "( Deep voice ) Ooh, you got us hot chocolate." "Great." "I'm freezing." "Are you all right?" "So, uh, Kyla... ( Clears throat ) Tell me about yourself." "I don't know anything about you." " Do you like sports?" " Me?" " Mm-hmm." " No." "That's-- that's good." "Yeah." "So, um..." "Last night when you-- you know, did, uh-- whatever and then, um, th-- this morning when you didn't want to do anything, why is that, when you're paying me?" "Well, isn't it obvious?" "No." "I wanted to wait." "Huh." "You know what?" "I just remembered I got this other thing." " Um, it's" " What are you talking about?" "Oh, I feel like-- vertigo." "Nothing to do with you." "I" " Call Tanya, okay?" "I'll call you." "And that's Candace from the bakery." "She was hot for Jason, so I told her that she could do it if she paid." "And I met those two ladies at Arby's." " Arby's?" " Yeah, it's Pam and Martha." "I know they're a little bow-wow, but money's money, right?" "And look, I have lots of other ideas I wanted to share with you." "Guys, guys, guys," "I appreciate the enthusiasm, but in general, Sandee, Arby's is not okay." "All right?" "We're operating close to the line here." " Close to what line?" " The illegal line, Sandee!" "Do you understand what I'm saying to you?" "Don't invite too many randoms to fuck the hos." " Hey, dude!" " Okay, can I talk to you for a second?" " Sure." " Okay uh, Ray, uh, Kyla called." "I asked her." "Whew." "What'd she say?" "She said she thought you knew." " Lenore was supposed to tell you." " ( Groans )" "She thought I knew?" "Well, look, she can still be a great client." "She wants you to take her to a reunion." " I am not" " No, don't." " I am not fucking a guy, Tanya." " No, you don't have to fuck anyone, Ray." "You'll get 1,000 bucks just to be an escort." "Get-- get what's-his-name to do it." "She likes you and your money was stolen." "It's a great job." "I don't need this job, Tanya." "There's a room full of real women out there and they've got real vaginas." "Let's go get 'em." "Well hi, ladies." "It's exciting to see all the new faces." "Hi Martha." "Hey." "Hi, Pam." "Welcome." "All right, today's subject is choice." "Because choice leads to freedom." "And freedom around here equals Orgasmic Living." "( Jason whispering ) So now we just hang out back here?" " Yeah." " For how long?" "Till she calls for the Samson file." " Who's Samson?" " Nobody's Samson." " It's a fake file." " Tanya:" "On that note" "It is pretty cool we get paid to fuck, huh, man?" "Ah." "You used to be a teacher, right?" "Still a teacher." "Jake, Richard, will you please bring out the Samson file?" "( Music plays ) Thanks." "Thank you, Jake." "Thanks." "This is great!" "Jason, you got five ladies." "What?" "Uh, well, that's great." "I mean it's the novelty factor, Ray." "That makes sense." "Two new clients, it's really-- it's good." " How did I only get two?" " Plus we're gonna add that tranny." "That makes six." "Oh, now they got six." "You're gonna send that clown to Kyla on top of everything else?" "You told me to send him." "You said you couldn't handle it." "I can handle it." "I can handle Kyla just fine." "Put-- put me in there." "That makes three." "( Phone rings )" " Hey!" " Lenore:" "Where are you?" "I'm at..." "I'm at my apartment." "I'm at your apartment." "I just knocked." "You didn't answer." "Oh, well, I'm at my other apartment." "It's the" "It's the old one." "I'm sorry." "I'm having a lot of trouble hearing you right now." " It's bad to fuck with me." " What?" "The reception is" "It's awful." "And I can barely hear-- and I can barely hear you." "( Beeps )" "( Moaning, grunting )" " We want to diversify." " I'm sorry?" "Video." "Um, wait, I'm not following." "Porn." "Okay, Sandee, porn is not okay with me." " Wait, what's wrong with porn?" " What's wrong with porn?" "Porn is, um, the male gaze?" "When sex is filmed by a male pornographer," " women are commodified." " That's the point, right?" "That's not the point." "The point is happiness." "Okay, but Jason is fucking these women anyway." "So we-- we film it." "And then we post it on the Internet." "We can't film the clients and post it on the Internet without their permission." "We can blur their faces." "I already have the domain name and everything." "Do you have a bathroom that I could use?" "( Sighs )" "( Sighs )" "They're grifters." "They're pornographers." "They're thieves." "Who have I gotten into bed with?" " What have I done?" " You sure they've got Ray's box?" "'Cause a lot of people got red shoeboxes." "They had thousands of dollars worth of stereo equipment." "I mean how could they afford that?" " I say let it alone." " What?" "You say women are signing up like crazy for this kid." "And he's making you a lot of money." "I say as long as he's not stealing from you, let it slide." "Sometimes hos steal." "They're not nuns." "They hos." "You want me to do nothing because they're not stealing from me?" "Yeah." "I can't do that." "The guilt, Charlie." "Baby, are you asking for my advice or for my help?" "( Clears throat )" "You know, I" " I-- I have a son who, uh-- might be gay." "Yeah." "17 years old, yeah, it's just-- pfft." "I love him though." "It don't matter to me." "I love my gay son." "Or maybe-gay son." "I'm not gay." "Okay." " I'm a woman, Ray." " Sure." "That's cool." "So, uh, when did that start for you?" " Being a woman?" " Mm-hmm." "When did you start being a man?" " ( Screaming )" " Hey hey hey hey!" " Who the fuck?" " Hi, guys." "Um, Sandee, you know Charlie." " Hey." " You guys met." " Can I get some water?" " What?" "Some, you know, water." "Uh, we-- we have some Gatorade." "That'll do." "Excuse me." " Okay." " Uh uh uh, what are you doing?" "Wait wait wait-- Charlie!" "Oh no, hey hey hey!" "( All shouting )" "Whoa!" "Did you see that?" "( Laughs )" " Oh Charlie." " ( Screams )" " Tanya:" "Oh, please stop." " What the eff, man?" "Come on, man, sit down." "Okay look, wait, nobody is drawing any conclusions." "Okay?" "Look." "Guys, I was here earlier and I couldn't help but notice that you have a red shoebox in your bathroom and it had some money in it." " That's where we keep our money!" " Just listen to the lady." "Uh." "The thing is Ray had an identical red shoebox stolen" " from his house." " You think we stole Ray's shoebox?" "I don't" " I don't know!" "I'm" " I'm" "I'm asking." "Did you steal Ray's shoebox?" "No, we didn't." "We don't even know where he lives." "That is our shoebox." "I don't know, what are the odds-- two people both having Puma shoeboxes" " hidden in their house?" " They're high!" "They're very high." "People have red shoeboxes!" "Everyone's got them!" "Red shoeboxes are everywhere." "Charlie." "Charlie?" "No no no." " Hey, is anybody hungry?" " We didn't take the money!" "Charlie, that's a live turtle." "It's a pet." " Please don't eat Prince Eric!" " Tell me how this is gonna go then, 'cause I don't have time for this shit." "And Tanya, she don't have time for this shit, and this-- Prince Eric, you say?" "He really does not have time for this shit." "Okay okay okay okay okay!" " Okay what?" " We took the money." " No, we didn't." " We took it, we took it!" "Okay." "Tanya is gonna arrange a plan so that you nice people can make amends." "Thank you." "Let's go, baby." "( Music playing )" "♪ I'm not a man or machine ♪" "♪ I'm just something in-between ♪" "♪ whoa whoa whoa-aaa ♪" " ♪ Aw, you want me to come alive..." "♪" " Let's do this." "♪ Make the switch into overdrive ♪" "♪ you and me can let it be ♪" "♪ ready, aim... ♪" "Oh my God!" "♪ Fire!" "♪" "♪ touch that dial, turn me on ♪" "♪ start me like a motor, make me run ♪" "♪ lovin' every minute of it ♪" " ♪ lovin', lovin' every minute of it... ♪" " Adam?" "Adam Philips?" "Hey, it's me." " Good to see you." " ( Laughing )" " Oh." " Yeah, good to see you." "Oh, Adam, this is my fiance Ray." "Ray, this is Adam." "We had English class together" " junior year." " Hi, how you doing?" "God, it seems like forever, huh?" "( Laughs )" " Um, excuse us for a second." " Oh." " Ray:" "What are you doing?" " What?" "Tone it down, okay?" "Don't rock the boat." " I thought you wanted to pass." " I am passing, Ray." " He can't tell who I was." " If you keep pushing it, somebody's gonna notice." "( Scoffs )" " Kyla:" "Oh shit." " What?" "You better call me." " That's him." " Who?" "Come on, let's dance." "Uh, oh, that's-- that's okay." "I" " I'm not a good dancer." "You danced at my house." "You've got some moves." "No no, I don't feel like dancing right now." "It's a reunion." "People dance." "Okay, I-- that's not part of the deal." "What the hell is your problem?" "Tanya said you'd be fine." "Look, I don't" " I don't have to be here, okay?" " Look, this isn't something that" " What are you talking about?" "I mean look, I'm helping you out here." "You know?" "I mean a lot of guys wouldn't after" " Oh, you're mad 'cause I blew you?" "!" " Shhhh." " ( Groans )" " Okay, I am so so sorry that this whole experience that I am paying you for has been difficult for you." "You know what?" "Fuck off." "♪ Lovin' ♪ whoa whoa whoa-aaa. ♪ ♪" "( Muffled music thumping )" "( Loudly ) I'm really glad you picked up the phone, Jess." "Turn off that fucking music or I will staple your dick to your face!" "( Music lowers )" "Hmm." "I'm sorry I've been a shitty friend, Jess." " It's been a rough couple of months." " Yes." "For me too." "But things are-- things are looking up." "I've been going to this place and it's really helping me." "Okay, just" "Don't laugh." "But there's this, um, this woman, this, um..." "Healer." "And she runs a wellness center." " Mm-hmm." " She's very inspirational." "They have open classes, if you wanna..." " ♪ Do you wanna touch, yeah... ♪" " Whoo!" "♪ Do you wanna touch, do you wanna touch me there?" "♪" " ♪ Where?" "Yeah... ♪" " Whoo." "♪ Yeah, oh yeah ♪" "♪ oh yeah ♪" "♪ yeah, oh yeah ♪" "♪ oh yeah ♪" "♪ yeah, oh yeah ♪" "♪ oh yeah, oh yeah. ♪" "Man:" "It's like that ball was coated in butter." " Man #2:" "Not fair." " Told me I dropped the ball." "Anyways, to the district four state championships." "To the district four state championships." "( Unison ) Fuck the ump!" " You guys are district four?" " Yeah." " Ahem." " You play?" "Yeah, I was at West Lakefield High." " No shit." " Class of '84." "Oh, West Lakefield." "You were good then." "Oh yeah no, we won the states in '83 and '84." " Huh." " Oh wait, you're not" " Are you Ray Drecker?" " Yeah." " ( Laughing )" " Bullshit." "Whoa, man, my brother played against you." "Weren't you drafted by the Braves?" " Once upon a time, yeah." " Oh shit, man, you could fucking play." "I'm telling you, you could play." "What are you doing here?" "Uh, my fiancee's-- there." "♪ Here I am ♪" "♪ will you send me an angel?" "♪" "I can't believe I don't remember you." "You look exactly the same." "Aha, you think so?" "I look in the mirror and I see this old guy standing behind me." "Oh, plus I'm getting a divorce." "So I'm a mess." "Are you here with someone?" "No." "♪ Here I am... ♪" "Holy shit." "Hey, you see that girl?" "I swear to God, man, that is Dan Drummel." " Others:" "No." " Yes." "The chick in the dress, that's Dan Drummel?" " Yes." " Dan fucking Drummel?" " That is Dan Drummel." " No." "Oh shit!" "Dan Drummel's your fiancee?" "No." "No, my fiancee is" " You know, like over-- over-- - ( Laughter )" "Fuck yeah." " ( Ray narrating ) I saw it happening." " She's a dude." "She was Kyla," " and then in a second..." " You're kidding me." " ...she wasn't." " ( Whispering )" "♪ Just beware of the thorns ♪" "♪ here I am... ♪" "What the fuck are you doing?" "Not cool." "Not cool!" "♪ In the land of the morning star. ♪" "And I wasn't Ray Drecker to them anymore." "I was just a guy with the wrong kind of girl." " ( Scoffs )" " Oh-- ho ho ho." "Take me home." "I want to go fucking home." " ( Sighs )" " See ya, Dan." "( Jocks laughing )" "Kyla!" "Kyla." " C'mere." " I never should've" " come back here." " No no no." "Don't say that." "That's not true, Kyla." "Will you look at me?" "Will you-- will you look at me, please?" "We didn't come all the way out here to turn around and go home." "Right?" "Okay, I know you want to dance." "( Clears throat )" "Well, I want to dance too." "( Scoffs ) Liar." "No no, really, I do." "I love dancing." "I can't get enough of it." "Come on, hey." "Fuck these guys." "You're beautiful." "You hear me?" "You're beautiful." "Come on, let's dance." "( Music playing )" "♪ I'm lying alone with my head on the phone ♪" "♪ thinking of you till it hurts ♪" "♪ I know you hurt too ♪" "♪ but what else can we do?" "♪" "♪ tormented and torn apart ♪" "♪ I wish I could carry ♪" "♪ your smile in my heart ♪" "♪ for times when my life seems so low ♪" "♪ it would make me believe what tomorrow could bring ♪" "♪ when today doesn't really know ♪" "♪ doesn't really know ♪" "♪ I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you ♪" "♪ I know you were right, believing for so long ♪" "♪ I'm all out of love, what am I without you?" "♪" "♪ I can't be too late ♪" "♪ to say that I was so wrong ♪" "♪ I want you to come back and carry me home ♪" "♪ away from these long lonely nights ♪" " ♪ there's no easy way, it gets harder each day... ♪" " Tanya:" "Hey, Charlie?" " ♪ Please love me or I'll be gone... ♪" " Charlie?" "♪ I'll be gone ♪" "♪ I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you ♪" "♪ I know you were right, believing for so long... ♪" "( Ray narrating ) When you're young, you get all worked up about what people think of you." "But that's the good thing about getting older." "You realize, "fuck that"" "it's what you think of yourself." "♪ What are you thinking of?" "♪" "♪ what are you thinking of?" "♪" "♪ I'm all out of love ♪" "♪ I'm so lost without you ♪" "♪ I know you were right ♪" "♪ believing for so long ♪" "♪ I'm all out of love, what am I without you?" "♪" "♪ I can't be too late ♪" "♪ I know I was so wrong ♪" "♪ I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you ♪" "♪ I know you were right, believing for so long ♪" "♪ I'm all out of love, what am I without you?" "♪" "♪ I can't be too late ♪" "♪ I know I was so wrong ♪" "♪ I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you ♪" "♪ I know you were right, believing for so long ♪" "♪ I'm all out of love, what am I without you?" "♪" "♪ I can't be too late ♪" "♪ to say that I was so wrong ♪" "♪ I'm so lost without you. ♪"