"Previously on Daytime Divas... (Anna) You really think someone should get away with murder just because they're rich and famous." "My mom is lying to me about something important." " This thing is not going away." " No, it's not." "It's getting way too close." "Why did Maxine wanna get rid of you?" "I have evidence that she murdered her husband." "I spoke to Anna Crouse." "She told me that you killed Ted." "Nina, darling, if you wanna continue meddling in my business, go ahead." "But be forewarned when they go low, I go lower." "My son is a, a trans." "Ella." "If you can't accept our child, then I can't accept you." "You better watch out, unless you want me to tell everyone how you really kept your job on "Lacey," slut." "I just landed a lead role in a major sitcom." "He has this new family show." "I was talking to him about Tandy." " Kibby, it's your space dad!" " There's my girl." "I'll go public with everything." "Do you really expect people to believe you?" "It is time to introduce America to Vance's daughter, Tandy Ainsley!" "What?" " Huh?" " No!" "[gunshot]" "I'm not gonna let you get away with this." "[gunshot] [all screaming]" " Ah!" " Oh, something's not right." " [groaning] How bad is it?" " Oh, it's bad." "Oh, my baby!" "Kib, are you out of your mind?" " Frigging crazy." " Sit down." "My ass." "You shot my ass!" "Well, good, everyone's okay." "Now, are you opposed to gun control, Heather?" "Guns don't just go off by themselves." "It takes an unstable person to pull the trigger." "Oh, my God." "I stopped a massacre." "I'm a hero." "Ugh." "Ramona, be a real hero and get me my lunch." "Oh." "Everyone, Kibby merely fired a prop gun." "My bag doesn't have a prop bullet through it!" "Uh, yes, it does because a prop gun accidently went off during the rehearsal of Heather's rooting'-tootin' cowboy picnic." " Oh, we're doing it?" " No, we're not." "Uh, Ramona, take Kibby to my office." "Drunky, you owe me a new bag!" "He hates you." "You ruined everything, you know that?" " Please, don't be mad at me." " Kibby." "I hope you get the help you need." "You're the one who needs help, you sicko!" "Ramona, get her out of here!" "And I'm still waiting for my chopped salad." "You already ate it!" "Oh, for God's sake, Kibby, you went on air wasted and then you fired a gun." "I have to keep that creep away from Tandy." "But you don't do it with a gun!" "No one was listening to me!" "Everyone thinks" "Vance is a super-good guy." "And he's dangerous, he's gonna hurt her." "What are you talking about?" "He does this thing where he makes you feel beautiful and special and the whole time he's separating you from your family and the next thing you know, you can't do anything without him." "He's like your whole world." "Kibby... did he?" "He waited until I was legal, so..." "And by then I was already in what I thought was love." "Oh, my God." "At least I was high the whole time." "If there's one thing Vance Gordon is good for he always has the best drugs." ""Happy 15th birthday." "Here's your first bump of coke."" "Where was your mother in all this?" "He paid her off to keep her quiet." " Everyone at least he knew to." " And did nothing?" "Because he was making them money." "[sighs]" "Kibby, I will take care of you and Tandy." "I promise." "You need to take care of your sobriety." "Okay?" "She's jealous." "She can't stand the fact that Tandy is working with Vance now." "She has been obsessed with me for years." "It's sad." "I mean, and now she's delusional." "Well, she seems pretty convinced." "She's a drug addict." "It's genetic on her father's side." "But Kibby needs our compassion right now." "Kibby, Kibby, Kibby." "Bitch murdered my crocodile." "[bleep] Kibby." "I don't give a [bleep] about Kibby!" "Hey, Maxine!" "Hey, so that's it?" "The party line is a prop gun went off?" "We're just gonna pretend like nothing happened between Kibby and Vance?" " I'm taking care of it, Nina." " What are you taking care of?" "Kibby, or your precious show?" "Because we all know you're really good at sweeping criminal acts under the rug." "I have no idea what you're talking about." "Your dearly departed husband, Ted." "Nina, be careful." " I always am." " Really?" "Because I've been learning a lot about the loose ends in your charmed life." "Okay, Principal Freewoman, calm down." "I come bearing no weapons, only a tiara." "Yes, I need to speak with you about that." "Oh, I would love that." "After the day I've had, nothing makes me happier than beauty pageant rehearsal with the kids." "There's been some parental concern that a pageant promotes and encodes a standard of beauty as defined by a patriarchal society." "Yes!" "We find that offensive and detrimental to the students' self-esteem." "The pageant is cancelled." "[chuckles] Isn't that sweet?" "A agave icing on the dairy-free cake." "First they come after my gun, and I did nothing." "Now, they're coming after my pageant..." "It goes against everything that Crossroads Academy stands for." "Oh?" "Your mission statement clearly says "Honor the child."" "My Ella begged for a beauty pageant, so if you deny her this you're denying the dreams of a transgender child." "You're playing the trans card?" "If you've got it, flaunt it." "Fine, but there'll be no finalists no winners, no losers." "T-there has to be a winner." "We're crowning a Ms. Crossroad." "No genders." "All shapes, all sizes." "Well, can there at least be a tiara?" "As long as there's one for everybody." "Fine, but it's not my fault if one happens to be bigger than the others." "[sighs] Hey, this doesn't make any sense." "Anna maybe a loon, but she is a good journalist." "She says she had definitive evidence and nothing in this box points to your mother killing Ted." "And I think that's because William did it." " What?" " Look, my-my mom and William." "They lied about how long they've been together." "And maybe it's because he killed Ted and they don't want anyone to even suspect he was there." "Well, that's an interesting theory." "Look, Ted was a bastard." "Half the time he was a complete prick to my mom and all she would do was just make up excuses for him." "That doesn't sound like your mother." "She loved him so much, she'd do anything for him." "And I refuse to let that happen with William." "She's not taking the fall for him." "Shawn, I promise you" "I'm gonna find out what happened." "And if Anna has definitive evidence then I will pry it out of her big grubby hands." "[instrumental music]" "How's your busted booty?" "It's been better." "But I know you didn't come all the way up here just to give me a get-well basket." "Well, then I'll take it back." "Look, I know what Kibby did was irresponsible and dangerous and, yeah, a bit nuts, but it wasn't random." " Oh, well, that's comforting." " We know Kibby needs help." "But, it was a reaction to Vance Gordon." "You need to fire him from "In A Pinch."" "He should not be around young women." " Yeah, we've heard the rumors." " You know?" "And you're letting that pig on set with Tandy?" "He's a grabby guy, so is the one in the White House." "Vance coerced Kibby into a relationship." "He said, she said." "Look, who are you gonna believe?" "The hot mess or the star with a squeaky-clean image?" "I am sticking with that hot mess." "Fine." "We'll keep an eye on him, okay?" "But Vance Gordon is a big get for this network and I am not going to fire him." "There is, however, someone you need to fire." "Jason really has me up against the wall." "Same corporate bullshit, legal liability." "Vance could sue for defamation of character and you, my dear, you are uninsurable." "Yeah, 'cause I'm the dangerous one." "I know." "It's not fair." " Of course, no one believes me." " Yet." "I'm not done." "I'm gonna get them to believe you." "Why?" "The truth doesn't set you free." "It just brands you a liar." "I am not gonna listen to any of this kind of talk." "Your job is to trust me and to stay sober." "Kibby is off the show for good?" "Kibby is on leave, but we're lucky that Ashley Graham finished her Barbie tour just in time to sit in for her." " Hi, ladies." "I'm so excited." " Great." "Kibby's victimized again and then replaced by a model." "Uh, no offense, I really liked your TED talk." "Time to line up!" "Something happened between her and Vance." "Wow, wow, wow, you don't know that." "Yes, I do and so do you." "You just don't want anything to hurt your little sitcom." "You know, I like you a lot better when you're whining about a lipo." " Guys, come on." " Ramona." "Ashley wants a sparkling water." "I got it." "So, I love your work in "Sports Illustrated." "Phenomenal stuff."" "We don't know what happened between her and Vance." "We weren't there." "Okay, if this were Savannah or Ella, would you believe them?" " Well, yeah, of course." " Spoken like a true Republican." "No empathy unless it's your own family." "Even her own mother said that she was delusional." "Mothers don't lie." "(woman on TV) School lunches made easy and scoliosis prevention." "You know what, I blame you, Heather." "You shouldn't have brought that damn gun." "(woman on TV) Here they are." "Maxine, Mo..." "She could've just as easily gotten that knife from craft service." "That thing can't even cut bagels." "(woman on TV) And guest co-host" ""America's-Next-Top-Model" judge" "Ashley Graham." " Classic pervert." " Ladies, enough." "I am standing behind Kibby and doing all I can to fix this." "Okay?" "Trust me." "I have everything under control." "Uh, hi, everybody, and welcome to "The Lunch Hour."" "Shit." "Ramona, why didn't you tell us?" "Uh..." "Welcome, welcome." "We are so happy to have Ashley Graham as our co-host today." "So excited to be here, Maxine." "So, is it too late for me to sign up to be in "America's Next Top Model?"" "Oh, Mo." "You get more outlandish every day." "Uh, Kibby will be gone for a while." "She's making a fascinating indie movie." "Ooh, is she playing a gun-wielding psycho?" "Because she could nail that." "No, she's playing an abused woman who finally snaps and takes justice into her own hands." "Kinda sounds empowering." "I can't wait to see it." "Ashley, as a pageant girl you pretty much always won swimsuit." "I just find your body-positive activism to be so great." "Thank you, I just worry sometimes that pageants are giving this unrealistic version of what beauty actually is." "Exactly." "Skinny white bitches like Heather." "Excuse me, but pageants are very diverse and inclusive." "I once lost to a Latina and I was fine with it." "Okay, a rainbow of skinny bitches." "Honestly, ladies, at the end of the day, I just want women to feel comfortable in their own skins." "So, even if a person is a homicidal millennial?" "Or a victim of a crushing society that rewards white men?" "What are we talking about exactly?" " Nothing." " Nothing." "Let's move on to our first topic of the day... (Tandy on voicemail) Beep, beep, it's" "Tandy, if you're leaving a voicemail you're old too old to be calling me." "Tandy, no matter what you're my sister and I love you." "I really wish you would just talk to me." " ...the message that the pride..." " Please." "(Maxine) I've got one word for you." "Prenup." "[instrumental music]" "Can I talk to you for a second?" "Is there anything I don't know about the night that Ted died?" "I don't think so." "It was an accident a sad, terrible accident." "Yeah, that's the story." "But, I'm starting to have some doubts." "Well, you shouldn't." "That's exactly what happened." "I hope so, William because I'm always gonna look out for my mom." "She can't get hurt again." " Have a good night, alright?" " You, too." "[instrumental music]" "Get in." "I'm so pleased to see how well your campaign is going." "What do you want?" "I wanna know exactly what it is that Nina's has been hiding." "And have her come after me again?" "I can't afford another scandal especially now." "My campaign is finally turning around." "I'll deal with Nina." "I'm known for keeping my promises, Andrew." "I'm gonna need a little more than that." "I'm also known for making large donations to support the candidates that I believe in." "You know, Nina's Pulitzer?" "She stole it." "Really, Anna you have been working on this case forever and this is all you have?" "I thought you were a real journalist." "Of course, there is more." "In fact, I have the biggest piece of the Maxine-Ted pie." "Stop playing me, Anna." "I don't have time for this." "This is the only copy of a tape made the night Ted died." "Did you really think I was just gonna hand you the biggest story of my career?" "I don't want your story." "I just wanna know what happened that night." "I'll get my boom box, run out and grab some C batteries." "Great." "Right there." "Oh, the perfect glitter just..." "This entire pageant is a regressive obscenity." " It's objectifying." " Heterosexist." " Who are you?" " Bobby." "I'm with a Y, she's with an I." "Look, this whole thing is very positive and affirmative." "Take your Beatrice for example..." "It's Beatrix with an X." "Well, your Beatrix not only has her choreography down pat but she has that kind of sparkle that you just can't fake." "Why isn't our girl in the front during the number?" "Yeah, what's that about?" " Trying to fix this contest, too?" " Ah." "[mumbles]" "(Ted on tape) I will do whatever I want, bitch." "That's America's happiest couple" "Maxine and Ted." "And that's Ted taking a little tumble." "[indistinct yelling on tape]" " Is that another male voice?" " No." "It's just Ted pleading for his life." "Oh." "Oh, right." "Of course." "I mean, I know the quality is a little crappy, but..." "Oh, well, I can fix that." "I just need to take the tape..." "Not my tape." "It's my story." "It's not leaving this place." "Anna you need my help." "I have a Pulitzer." "And your professional credibility is it's a little lacking." "What are you talking about?" "I'm in a great place." " Anna, can you make me a latte?" " Sure, you stupid-face Bowen." " You don't own me." " Go make me a latte." "Give me a second, I gotta go make him a coffee." "Oh." "Oh, my God!" "Yes, this momma's stepped all up." " Big smiles." "Big smiles." " Okay." "Wow, I see!" "You know how to work it for the cameras." "I guess that's from being around showbiz." " No, I wasn't around her very much." " Oh." "Well, it's from being around Kibby a lot." "Oh, no, she didn't live with us very much, either." "What, did she live with your dad?" "No, no, Vance." " What?" " Big smiles." "Yeah, she moved into his house." "It was just easier, you know?" "They were on the same schedule." "And my mom didn't like waking up early and taking her to the studio." "Oh, wow." "Okay, cool, cool." "It's cool." "Okay, let's have Vance come in." "Ah!" "Ah, here comes daddy." "[chuckles]" " Alright!" " Oh!" "[laughing]" "Oh, wow!" "[instrumental music]" "Hey." " You were right." " Oh?" "You know that turns me on." "Want to head back to your office and celebrate?" " It's about your mom." " Okay." "That's over." " What'd you find out?" " Anna has a tape of that night." "And I heard a second man voice on it." "What?" "Is it William?" "I think, but I won't know for sure until I get it scrubbed." "I know you and Kibby have a complicated relationship." "Complicated." "That's a polite way of saying terrible." "You have a second chance here, Sheree." "You can help Tandy." "I thought you asked me here to talk about Kibby." "Yes, but I think Kibby's acting out because she's worried about Tandy." "Oh." "[chuckles] Oh, please." "She's just worried about herself." "This is all just a cry for attention." "I think I know my daughter." "This is what happens when I'm not managing her." "Well, I'm trying to talk to you as the girls' mother and not their manager." "Now, the way to help Kibby is to make sure Tandy is protected." "From what?" "From a great part on a network sitcom?" "You know what, who the hell do you think you are?" "Making judgments from your left chair." " I was just trying to help." " Go work at a soup kitchen." "This is none of your goddamn business." "[elevator bell dings] [indistinct chattering]" "Oh, Maxine!" "I need to talk to you." "Email or text is best." "Wait, I think Kibby's telling the truth about Vance." " Of course, she is." " Well, look." "Being a woman in this industry" "I have been in lot of uncomfortable situations." "And this time I will not roll over." "Uh, uh, I'm sorry." "Are you telling me you care about someone other than yourself?" "Yes, and it's exhausting." "Well, take a nap, because sadly, no one believes Kibby." "But... we could make them." "What, you're letting Mo do stand up?" "That's not fair." "You never let me sing." "Oh, Heather, you can sing, just at church where people can pray for it to end." "[chuckles] Calm down, Heath." "I'm dragging my ass to Ella's beauty pageant." "Isn't that enough charity for one week?" " Maxine, can I do a segment..." " No." "Oh, I'm sorry, Ashley, it's just a reflex." "I thought you were one of them." "Me?" "No, I can never be one of you guys." " Yeah, it's a tough job." " No, I mean." "I'm just too busy with my modelling endorsements my TV gigs, the clothing lines to be here for two hours a day?" "Oh, gosh, no." "Give it up for Maxine Robinson, ladies and gentlemen." "Yes." "Ha-ha." "[audience cheering]" "Can you believe, after ten years of doing segments on eating disorders genocide and global warming she's finally letting the audience laugh?" "[audience laughing]" "See, now, doesn't that feel good?" "Well, as all of you may know, I'm starring on a new sitcom with a guy named Vance Gordon." "You know him?" "From "Lacey From Outer Spacey"" "America's favorite DILF." "Oh, yes, ladies." "He's definitely a silver fox that I don't mind letting' in my henhouse." "You know what I'm saying?" "Except for the fact that I'm not quite his type." "I may be his TV wife, but in real life you know, I'm like a senior citizen to him." "Yeah, you know, he prefers the ones that are not quite able to rent cars yet." "What?" "I'm serious." "Ask Kibby." "Okay, on "Lacey From Outer Spacey"" "she played his daughter, but in real life well, she was his leading lady." "[audience gasping]" "Dear Lord, is she really gonna go there?" "Oh, she is there." "You want me to cut to commercial?" "Don't you dare." "Kibby was his youngest and favorite daughter." "I mean, he would do anything for her." "[imitating Vance] Oh, baby, you're feeling sad?" "Well, daddy's got some uppers." "Oh, oh, baby, you can't sleep?" "Oh, daddy's got those downers for you." "Running lines with Vance Gordon... [sniffs] ...takes on a whole new meaning." " Whoo!" " That's disgusting." "I wanted Vance to be my dad growing up." "I gotta rethink my adolescence." "[audience cheering]" "[cell phone beeping]" "Look at those idiots taking Vance's side." "Well, there'll always be haters." "[door opens]" "Oh, hey, little man." "So, did you catch me on the show today?" "Sorry, I had to out Vance, but America needed to know." "And he's replaceable anyway." "Oh, you know what I was thinking?" "How about Matthew McConaughey?" "Actually, we're replacing you." " You're off the sitcom, Mo." " Jason" "Mo was just telling the truth." "Or, maybe she was slandering one of the network's most valuable stars." "No, wait a minute, listen here, you broken-ass little douche..." "This is not up for debate." "Seriously, Jason?" " I just got fired." " Again?" "This is some bullshit!" "What is with all the security around here?" "I had to flash the guards both my boobs instead of just the one this time." "I'm kidding, I still have my badge from when I worked here." "Anna, how are you?" "Well, I'd be a lot better if you hadn't stolen my tape." " Where is it?" " I-I don't have it." "I..." "I sent it to go get scrubbed so that we can prove that you were right about Maxine." "You are a liar!" "I always knew you wanted my story this story that's gonna save my career." "Anna, I am trying to help you." "The second I get that tape back we can sit down and listen to it together and you will get to write the story that you wanted." "You better because I am writing this story." "I may need a proofreader." "I'll let you know." "Well, I'm here for you!" "(Maxine) Anna, what a surprise." "I didn't hear your clodhopping feet." "Thanks, M. I have lost weight." "I'm just here working on a story with Nina." "It's about you, actually." "And this time you can't kill it." "I-I'm sorry, I was trying to process that threat but I was asphyxiated by your breath." "Onion bagel?" "It was in everything!" "I see you've added Anna Crouse to your girl squad." "We're just working on something together." "I'd slow your roll if I were you." "I know about the Pulitzer." "Wow, what a bombshell, huh?" "It would ruin your career." "Then I'll have to fire you." "You'd be exiled from New York and then probably have to take a job in Poughkeepsie as a weather girl." "Well, at least you'll have something to watch with your wife from the prison rec room." "[sighs] Look." "Maxine, I'm willing to drop all of this if you will just tell Shawn the truth about what happened that night." "You're lecturing me about the truth?" "[door opens] [piano music]" "Uh, sweetie, sweetie." "You're playing very heavy on the keys." "Remember what Mommy told you?" "Gentle, gentle." "Okay, let's, let's try it from the top." "Mommy, I'm tired." "Well, nobody said pageants are fun." "If you wanna win, you have to work harder than everybody else." "Alright, let's do it again." " Daddy!" " Hey, B.J." "Watch me." "Why are you making him do this?" "I'm not making Ella do anything." "Softly, sweetie, softly." "Besides, she loves it." "Fine, she is what she is but do we have to parade it around for everyone to see and comment on?" "Well, why shouldn't we?" "She's a beautiful and talented little girl." "Smile, sweetie, smile." "Pageant teeth." "Whee!" "[Heather chuckles]" "I'm very proud of her." "And you can come and support her or not but just know that if you don't, you'll break her heart." "[piano music]" " Good job, honey." " What'd you think, daddy?" "Well, good-good job, son." "Shine." "Really." "No one is funny like you, Mo." "And trust me, they'll come crawling back." "Once again, Leon, you have no idea of what you're talkin' about." "I know what you did was right which... is hot." "Does it always come back to that for you?" "Well, is that a problem?" "Of course not, fool." "Now take off your pants so I can sex some of this sadness away." "[chuckles] Oh, yeah." "[chuckling] [instrumental music]" "You can't just run and hide from something like this." "I'm not hiding, I'm going to India for peace and enlightenment." "I need a spiritual [bleep] awakening." "Call it what you want, it's still running away." "Look, I really appreciate what you and Mo did for me but Vance won, I'm just a little whore that tried to take down America's dad." "Now everyone hates me." "Poor Kibby having her own little pity party." "Do you really think you're the first woman who's ever gone through something like this?" "No." "I know, I'm not." "I wasn't even Vance's first." "Kibby, there is power in numbers." "No, I really don't wanna have to..." "I know." "But you need to strap it on and get to work." "[clears throat]" "I know you trolls think I'm a drunk an addict and a liar." "And I get it." "Why would you believe me?" "But maybe you'll believe America's sweetheart my "Lacey" co-star, Maddie Finn." "When Kibby called me, my first thought was" ""Ew." "I thought I told that skank to lose my number."" "Rude." "There's a reason we don't get along and it all goes back to working on" ""Lacey From Out Of Spacey" with Vance Gordon." "Vance was my TV dad." "And my TV uncle." "And IRL he was both of our boyfriends." "Vance totally screwed us up." "Look, we may not be angels but, you shouldn't have to be perfect to be believed." "And creeps who prey on young women shouldn't be rewarded." "Right, so call Jason Abel at NEB and tell him you agree." "Hash tag Fire Vance Gordon." "We're done being afraid and we're done being ashamed." " Vance Gordon is a prick." " We won't shut up about it." "So, let's get it trending, bitches." "[cell phone ringing]" "[keyboard keys clacking]" "[instrumental music]" "Oh, my God." "[doorbell rings]" "I know." "What are you talking about?" "I know Shawn killed Ted." "How could you keep this a secret for so long?" "[Horns blaring]" "I have my reasons, but not a day goes by that I don't blame myself for what happened." "(Maxine) Shawn showed up at the apartment drunk." "He was a different person back then, drinking, drugging always angry." "And that night he was out of control." "Ted had taken all of Shawn's trust money without telling anyone and put it into a high-risk investment." " It's all gone!" " Calm down." "Yeah, you know, you should check your accounts." " They're probably clear, too." " What did you do?" "You know, you're a spoiled brat who wants the mommy to clean up all of your messes." " Shawn!" " I told you..." "As much I tried" "I couldn't help my son or myself." "My marriage was crumbling." "I think you've had enough." "I will do whatever I want." "Ted had become violent and I didn't have the strength to leave him." " Shawn, stop it!" " Come on." "[screams]" "Oh." "Ted!" "[sighs] Oh, my God." "I couldn't fix this." "I couldn't fix any of it so I called the only person I could trust someone I had become very close to." "Get up here now." "William got Shawn out of the apartment." "For once, I was grateful that Shawn was so drunk he completely blacked out." "He wouldn't remember what he did and I vowed he'd never find out." "Tell the police that you came home and found Ted on the floor dead." "Oh, my God!" "You have been protecting him this whole time." "Well, that's what a mother does." "Right?" "But I failed." "I should've gotten him help." "Maybe I could've stopped him from doing something that would ruin his life." "Maxine, I'm so sorry that I have been chasing this." "We both love Shawn very much." "So, can we put this all to bed?" "Yes." "I just have one thing I need to do." "(Anna on phone) What do you mean disintegrated?" "Cassette tapes last forever." "Unfortunately, over time the tape has degraded too much to survive the transfer." "I have no story?" "I mean, I've already written half of it." "I even managed to work in the word insouciance without sounding pretentious." "Well, that is a hard word." "Not to mention I just put Visine in Bowen's coffee." "No, Bowen, don't y..." " Oh, that's his problem." " I'm sorry." "Anna, we tried." "So, now I'm just supposed to trash the story?" "This is not okay, Nina." "(woman on phone) Is American dad America's grief?" "This is great." "This is everywhere." "Yeah." "It's great." "But, I lost my sitcom." "She could at least mention that I'll be performin' at the Improv all week." "[sighs] It took a lot of guts." "Yeah, you know, I figured I should get back in front of an audience right away." " Were we still on Kibby?" " It's show time, everyone." "It's starting, the pageant's starting." "[audience applauding]" "[indistinct chattering]" "Beatrix had a really good warm-up." "Your daughter better bring it." "Oh, it's been brought." "[piano music]" "♪ Welcome to the Inner Beauty Pageant ♪" "♪ Where self-esteem and confidence are magic ♪" " Asia Pacific Islander." " Latin X." " Ginger." " White!" " Product of a sperm donor." " Yes!" " Vaccine-free." " Handy-capable." "[audience applauding]" "Just showin' up." "♪ It's almost time for us to know ♪" "♪ Who we miss or sis or mister ♪" "♪ Or transgender patrol ♪ [audience cheering]" "That's the only way you can have the pageant." "[audience cheering]" "And so "In A Pinch" is officially dead." "Oh, thank God!" "And, on behalf of the network we would like to invite you back on "The Lunch Hour."" " Oh!" " And offer you a salary bump." "Ah, yes, five percent." " Ten percent." " Oh." "Sure, fine, ten percent." "And the network insists on mandatory rehab." "Oh, yes." "Yes, we do." "And one more thing, Jason, and I can't believe I'm saying this but what will you be doing for..." "Mo?" "Now, give it up for Fatima." "Oh, my goodness, I have never seen a person in a wheelchair twerk!" "Oh!" "Ha." "Hit it!" "Hit it!" "Ooh, I got a call from the network so, I gotta go." "You know I'm important." "So, we're gonna take a brief intermission and we will be right back." "[audience applauding]" "And to be honest, Mo, "In A Pinch"" "it wasn't the right vehicle to showcase your talents anyway." "Normally I'd like a nice, long ass kiss but tick-tock, little man." "[laughs] You see, that's, that is why we love you." "So, um, let's do lunch and we'll start kickin' around some new pilot ideas for you." "How's that sound?" "Okay, okay, but I gotta go because right now I'm in the middle of a major, major gig." "And after today you may not be able to even afford me." " Ah..." " Yes!" "[song on stereo]" "[audience cheering]" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Nailed it!" "[indistinct cheering]" "Uh, she's okay." "Oh, I've seen better in the Olympics." "Oh!" "Oh, my God, Ella's next!" "We are running a jam with Ella Kellogg on the piano." "Does Brad Jr. have fake eyelashes on?" "Ella is wearing them, yes." "It makes her happy." "And you can't win a pageant without false eyelashes." ""And one day plans to have a-my-little-pony themed wedding."" "Give it up for Ella!" "[piano music]" " Ouch." " Hey, back off, buddy." "It's Bobby." "That's the one with a Y." "[instrumental music] [elevator bell dings]" "Oh, hey, hey, any word on the tape?" "No." "Not yet." "Look, that tape is really old." "There's a good chance we're not gonna get anything from it." "I just really need to know if it was William." "[sighs] Look, I know you wanna protect your mom but what would knowing the truth do?" "Would it really change anything?" "Baby, it was a very shitty time for me and my mom." "I just want closure." "I-I just wanna stop thinking about it so, we can just get back to us." "Wow, Beatrix." "So, you invented an app and already made $300,000?" "And donated it all to an orphanage in the Sudan." "Get off my stage." "Get off the stage." "[sighs] Beatrix has this sewn up." "Well, look on the bright side." "It's good for a kid to learn disappointment." "It makes 'em stronger." "It's called grit, Heather." "(Mo) Okay, Ella, Ella!" "Okay, Ella, your question is what would you do to make the world a better place?" "(Ella) Hm, um..." "I would make copies of my mom and dad in a 3D printer and give them to every kid because my mom and dad love me no matter what and everyone should have that." "[audience cheering]" "That's a good answer, Ella." "We got this." "[indistinct chattering]" "I did not see that coming." "No one did." " Beatrix was ra." " So was Ella." "That's sweet of you to say." "The important thing is that our daughter is happy." "I think so, too." "That was so much fun, I'm totally gonna win next year." "It's good to dream." "I knew I couldn't trust you, but no hard feelings." "You just made my big-ass story even bigger with a very compelling plot twist." " Now, Anna, you can't..." " Ooh, oops, got it." "[chuckles] Don't you love the cloud?" "Now I can listen to Shawn killing his stepfather on any device." "What are you doing?" "Just saying hello to my little friend the detective." "Yo, Stag, get down to "The Lunch Hour" set now." "I've got something that'll make both our careers." "Oh Maxine, your face!" "Oh, this was totally worth a trip across the hall." "Don't get a Botox for the next ten minutes." "I want the detective to see all that emotion." "Anna, you wanna hurt me, not my son." "Anna, please, I am begging you." "Shawn and I are having a baby." "Can you just call off the detective?" "Have some compassion." "Like you had for me?" "Stag should be here any minute." "Alright, what do you want, money?" "Oh, no thanks." "I have all I need." "I have the story of a lifetime." "I get it, you wanna restore your career with a byline." "But what's next?" "You don't want people to think you're a one-trick pony, do you?" "Oh, don't worry, sweetie." "I'll dig something up." "That's what everybody says." "What if I gave you your follow-up?" "What if you walk out of here with two big ass stories?" "No, Nina." "Don't be stupid." "I'm listening." "Ramona, the show starts in two minutes where's my mother and Nina?" "I think they're in Maxine's office but they are not answering." "[knock on door]" "Hey, mom, what are you.." "Whatever." "We have a show to do." "Yes, we have a show to do." " We're on our way." " Break a leg, girls." " Call places, Ramona." " Places." "Maxine, I just wanna wish everyone a great show." "Thank you, Jason." "(Ramona) Okay, everyone." "We're back in 60 seconds!" "Oh, look at this." "The gang's back together." "Again." "Ha-ha-ha!" "To a thousand more shows." "Yes." "Well, partner, we finally did something together." "I suppose we should give each other props for that." "Believe it or not, gotta give it up to you, girl." "You own that left chair." "Well, thank you, Mo." "And easy is the head that wears the crown." "Oh, don't I know." "When I won Miss South Savanna..." "Oh, you were a beauty queen?" "Wow, why haven't I heard that before?" "[chuckles]" "Hey, thanks for showin' up." " Come." " Okay, Jesus, Momma." "Can't a mother just hug her son?" "Not when I'm workin'." "(female announcer) Today on "The Lunch Hour", Kibby returns." "Have a great show, Maxine." "Thank you, Ramona." "(female announcer) Here they are, Kibby, Nina, Heather" "Mo, and Maxine." "[audience cheering]" "Hello and welcome to "The Lunch Hour."" "Now, before we get to our conversation" "I would like to welcome back Kibby Ainsley." "[applause]" "Thank you so much." "I wouldn't be back here without all of your help." "And if there's one thing I've learned it's to never be afraid to speak through truth." "[audience applauding]" "Funny you should say that, Kibby, because that brings us to today's very special guest." "Oh." "Special like Idris Elba?" "Have you seen the naked pictures of him?" "Uh, please welcome Anna Crouse." "Did she say Anna Crouse?" "Anna, uh, why don't you tell everyone what you've been up to since your last visit." "When she threw that mug at the camera?" "Thank you for asking, Maxine." "Well, as most of you know I'm a journalist with a particularly impeccable instinct for a story." "Uh, in fact Anna's instinct has affected me profoundly." "What?" "She discovered you were the one that stinks up the woman's bathroom 'cause it's not me." " It's not me." " Guys, we're on television." "Actually, it concerns the death of Maxine's husband, Ted Windsor." "[murmuring]" "A decade ago, I came home and found my husband dead." "That was the story I told the police." "Ha!" "Yes, Anna." "It was fallacious." " What is "fallacious?"" " It means not true." "The meaning is not-not true." " Oh." " Not-not true." " What I uncovered was..." " The truth." "Mom, the detective's here, what's goin' on?" "Uh... it wasn't an accident." "[audience murmuring]" "The person responsible for my husband's death is..." "Maxine!" "It was Maxine!" "[audience murmuring]" "Yes." "It was." "It was me." "Ted was inebriated." "He lunged at me." "In self-defense I pushed him, he fell, he hit his head and he died." "And she covered it up and lied to the police." "And that was the wrong thing to do." "But, um, I was ashamed." "Me, Maxine Robinson." "Strong formidable woman... [indistinct radio chatter]" "...in an abusive relationship." "So, I'm sorry to all of you ladies but it's, it's time that I take responsibility." "[dramatic music]" "And I'll miss you." " Cut to commercial." " No, Maxine, no!" " Cut now." " Shawn, keep it rolling." "Hell, yeah, we are." "Mom, Mom." "Mom, tell 'em it was William." "Tell 'em that it was William." "Okay, okay." "Don't..." "Mom, just tell 'em it was William." "Uh, uh." "Ah, Ramona focus." "Focus!" "Look, I know that we are all going through a difficult time here at "The Lunch Hour"" "but we are gonna get through this together with me in the left chair." "[audience applauding]" " Ah, what do you want?" " Maxine's done." " You're up next, Nina." " Yeah, I am well aware." "You can't arrest her for this." "It was self-defen..." "Maxine, don't go!" "Oh, wouldn't it be ironic if I won a Pulitzer for exposing your stolen Pulitzer?" "You just remember the deal." "Shawn never finds out what he did to Ted." "[indistinct chatter]" "[reporters clamoring]" "Maxine, Maxine, do you have anything to say?" "Yes, tomorrow on "The Lunch Hour"" "restless leg syndrome and Nicki Minaj." "And always remember, lunch is on us." "[dramatic music]" "[instrumental music]"