"Idea for song - murder." "A guy gets murdered and eaten at an all-you-can eat buffet." " Last time I was in Finland..." " Yeah." "Last time I was in Finland, I must have, "you know what-ed" about 500 girls." " And that happens forever." "Yeah." " Ballspark estimate." "Whatever." "Not like it's so hard." "You're in the biggest band in the world." "Women have..." "He brags about eating lollipops." "He works in lollipops factory." " Women have felt the attraction to me." " You got to deal with it." "I'm dealing with it, believe me." "I'm holding back gallons of throw-up as we speak." "Don't do me any favors." "Throw up on yourself." "OK." "Before we go out there, here are your Dethphones." "There you go." "There's yours." " I don't know what that is." " Don't you remember making this deal?" " Nope." "Were we drunk?" " Yes, you were." "This is heavy." "It hurts my face." "Boy, I really hates it." "Well, it's your design." "You may have been drunk... but you made a very convincing case to me, so..." "All right." "You know we get really excited about really bad ideas... when we drink, and it's your job to talk us out of it, right?" "I tried very hard but you all threatened to kill me, If you don't remember." "So?" "Big deal." "Those threats aren't new." "Noted." "Anyway, look." "You're on the Band Plan... and the weekend "murder minutes" start at 11 pm." "How do you like that?" "Wait a minute." "Night-time minutes start at 11 pm?" " That's brutal." " Well, it's your idea." "Well, they suck." "I approve." "All right." "It's time, boys." "Finland is expecting our apology for almost destroying their nation last tour." "Oh, boy." "## Do anything for Dethklok Do anything for Dethklok ##" "## Do anything for Dethklok Do anything for Dethklok ##" "## Do anything for Dethklok ##" "## Dethklok, Dethklok Dethklok, Dethklok ##" "## I'll teach you ##" "## Who rock ##" "## Dethklok!" "Dethklok!" "##" "## Skwisgaar Skwigelf Taller than a tree ##" "## Toki Wartooth Not a bumble bee ##" "## William Murderface Murderface, Murderface ##" "## Pickles the Drummer Doodily doo ##" "## Ding-dong, Doodily doodily doo ##" "## Nathan Explosion ##" "We are here to... apologize for alleged happenings during..." "During..." "During..." "Reading..." " Hey, what the hell is this?" " You're trying to read a speech to people." "Yeah." "Wait." "Hold on." "You know what?" "I pass." "Wrote my own speech." "Hey, Fi" "Oh, what's happening?" "Well, what did he say?" "What did you say?" "You did not." "I know." "I know." "Friggin'..." "Friends, we're not used to the whole apologizing thing." "We're not professional apologizers." "We're musicians, so we wrote a song for you, a new national anthem." "We took the lyrics from your Finnish folklore book of necronamic spells." "No!" "You may recognize this one... though it hasn't been sung for a few thousand years." "Awaken, awaken, Mustakrakish, the lake troll." "## Mustakrakish ##" "## Mustakrakish ##" "## Awaken, awaken Awaken, awaken ##" "## Take the land That must be taken ##" "## Awaken, awaken Awaken, awaken ##" "## Devour worlds Smite forsaken ##" "## Rise up from your 1,000-year-old sleep ##" "## Break forth From your grave eternally ##" "## I command you to rise ##" "## Rise, rise ##" "## Rise, rise ##" "## Rise, rise ##" "## Rise and awaken ## ...the southern section left in shambles." "Finland is reporting..." "No word from Dethklok." "...night vigil was given last night in Salzburg." "The satellite feed has been destroyed by what the locals are calling the troll vir-- ...knocking down all technological devices." "This small piece of footage is all that we've seen since this blackout occurred." "Gentlemen, it's clear that we're in a universally precarious situation." " Dethklok has summoned a troll." " That's impossible." " There's no such thing as trolls." " How do you explain the dead unicorns?" "This may be the first you've seen of this... but since Dethklok has gained more power... odd events have come to our attention." "Let me introduce you to Dr. Amon Skagerrak Fredrikshavn." "This troll is no myth." "He is a breathing entity banished from this world hundreds of years ago." "It took a magnificent force to wake him." "Dethklok is more powerful than we'd expected." "God will crush this demon." "I should hope he would soon because the more your God waits... the sooner he will find himself joined by more entities whose power will dwarf his." "You dare to challenge God?" "You have no idea of the true danger." "You would do well to remain silent." " You dare show..." " Gentlemen, gentlemen, please." "We've contained all footage of this troll." "The rest of the world will not know about it." "We need Finland safe." "We need their wood, their salt, and their cell phones." "Then we should send in our military and attack." " It would only upset the beast." " We must look to Dethklok." "Be patient." "I can't believe he said that." "Seriously?" "Well, it's official." "Finland is being destroyed by a troll that you summoned." "Well, I'm not sorry." "I can't believe we summoned a troll." "Why didn't we think of this earlier?" "High school would've been awesome with a big pal like him." " He could've carried me to school." " I know." "Dude, I'm turning on my Dethphone, and I'm hearing Murderface." "Wait a minute." "Did we just get one phone line and five phones?" " That's brutal." " Wait." "We can't even make any out calls?" "Dude, Murderface, get off the phone." " OK." "Good-bye." " Please get off the phone." "Hold on." "I just got to check my messages." "You have 67 new telephone answering machine... digital phone wireless fidelity Dethphone messages." "To hear the messages, press one on the keypad located on the front of the phone." "Preparing to play answering machine message number one." "After this message, if you'd like to save or delete or replay this message... please listen to the directions that will follow the message..." "This thing is just designed to eat up minutes." "It's brutal." "...plays one message now." "God..." "So, you think it might be a good business move to put that troll back to sleep?" "I don't..." "I just don't see that happening, you know?" "Crappy troll knocked out the DSL." "Now it takes two minutes to get to..." "OK." "I did not want to say anything but this is affecting your record sales." "There." "I said it." " Dude, nice one." " What are you trying to do, depress us?" "Well, it's working." "Hope you're happy." "Now I need a drink, a different one, not this one, in a different place." " Yeah." " Me, too." " Yeah." "Out of here." " Yeah, a drink." "Looks like that troll killed the power everywhere." "Well, there's only two things to do in a blackout..." "Get drunk." "One thing to do." "Oh, I hate Finland." "I need 100 beers." "I need 100 beers exactly." "Exactly 100." "Thank you." "We don't serve people who awaken lake trolls." "You must play a song to put the troll back to sleep." "Hey, douche bag, how the hell we gonna play with no electricals?" " Think about it." " Come with me." " What are those wood things, chairs?" " They are acoustic instruments." "What is acoustic?" "Oh, you mean a grandpa's guitars?" "Grandpa's guitars." "That's for pussies and grandpas." "I think you know it." "It's your only choice, I'm afraid." "This is a tough one, guys." "Pickles is right." "We have a tough choice." "Playing acoustic is totally lame and not metal... but then again, if we don't put that troll back to sleep... we may never be able to check our e-mail with high-speed DSL again." " Wait." "Toki, why'd you stop playing?" " l...have a confessions to makes." "I can't read music." "Dude, Toki can't read music." "It's a laugh." " Can you?" " No." "I has music dysleskia." "You know that." "I don't wish to talk about it." " Wait." "How are you playing that song?" " Honestly, I was just hitting any note." "Yeah." "Me, too." "That's an old music school trick." " Sounded pretty good." " Yeah, I know." "I think we got lucky." "Dude, check it out." "There's guitar tablature in the back of it." "So, what, we just play the song and go home?" "No." "It says we got to go out to the lake where he woke from." "Not you." "You." "So, we just play the song and go home?" "This is where he was birthed." " There he is!" " Yep." "That's definitely a troll." "Play, damn it!" "Play!" "## Are you getting sleepy ##" "## Tranquilized by the tune?" "##" "## Little trolls must go to sleep ##" "## And dream of kittens, please ##" "## Now it's time to go to sleep ##" "## Count your little baby sheep ##" "Dudes, it's working." "## Oh, your eyes are heavy 'Cause it's night ##" "The grandpa's guitars are smashed." "Dudes, here comes that guy." "Wait." "The phones." "Use the Dethphones." "Throw them at that guy." "Idea for our last song ever..." "Killed by a troll." "You did not." "What?" "I can't hear you!" "I can't..." "I just lost a call." "I'll kill this piece of crap!" "Metal." "## Mustakrakish ##" "## Mustakrakish ##" "## Awaken, awaken Awaken, awaken ##" "## Take the land that must be taken ##" "## Awaken, awaken Awaken, awaken ##" "## Devour worlds, smite forsaken ##" "## Rise up from your 1,000-year-old sleep ##" "## Break forth from your grave eternally ##"