"Daddy, guess who?" "Is it Big Bird?" "No, silly." "Okay, then I give up." "Who is it?" "Michelle Elizabeth Tanner." "Michelle, you fooled me again." "What are you doing up in the middle of the night?" "The sun woke me up." "What sun?" "It's only-- 7:30?" "Michelle, I forgot to go to sleep." "I was checking the schedule for my big telethon" "Good thing I did, because in hour 17 I booked back-to-back tap dancers." "That's tune-out city." "And then" " Daddy?" " Yes, honey?" "You talk too much." "It's very important to be a good listener." "Maybe next time." "MAN:" "I'm getting really tired." "Places, everybody!" "Two minutes to show time." "Aren't you supposed to be going over your music?" "Danny, relax." "I got it." "You got us playing "Feelings" once every hour." "Great news." "That 4 a.m. "Feelings," it's been switched to "Tie a Yellow Ribbon."" "That is great news." " Joey, what's in the doughnut boxes?" " Doughnuts." "Great." "Doughnuts go on the doughnut table." "It's a good thing I ran into you." "Relax!" "Becky, what are you supposed to be doing?" " Waiting for the show to start." " You're doing a great job." "Danny, relax!" "All right, phone volunteers." "Is everybody ready?" "Relax!" "[PHONE RINGS]" "All right." "Our first call." "We Love Our Children Telethon '9O, may I take your pledge?" "Oh, hi, Kimmy." "Dad, it's for you." "Mr. T, I brought my unicycle." "If you need me, I'm ready to ride." "That's very sweet of you to offer, and gosh darn, Kimmy if this show wasn't supposed to be entertaining, you'd be right in there." "Tanner?" "Oh, Tanner." "I gave you 24 hours of airtime on my station because I have total confidence in you." " Now, don't screw this up!" " Don't worry, Mr. Strowbridge." " Everything's under control." " Then why aren't you wearing shoes?" "Because I wanted to impress you with my brand-new designer socks." "Wardrobe!" "We're on the air in five seconds, everybody." "Here we go." "Four, three, two...." "Welcome to the We Love Our Children Telethon '9O." "And now your host for the show, the host of Wake Up, San Francisco Danny Tanner!" "[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS]" "Ha!" "Thank you, Jesse and the Rippers." "Welcome to the first annual We Love Our Children telethon." "Our goal is to raise $1,000,000 in the next 24 hours to buy new equipment for the Children's Health Center." "Right now, our lines are open and volunteers are standing by to take your calls." "Here's my daughter Michelle to give you the number you can call." "Hi, people." "I got a new dress." "To make a pledge, dial 555-HELP." "Hi, to all my friends at Frasier Street Elementary School." "Hi, Laurie." "Hi, Harry." "Hi, Brian." "Hi, Walter." "Hi" "Steph, honey, it's only a 24-hour telethon." "Ha-ha-ha!" "Well, what do you say we bring out our first act?" "Say hello to one of the hottest comics in San Francisco, my close friend" "And that's not just show-biz chatter." "He lives in my garage." "Say hello to Joey Gladstone." "[BAND PLAYS]" "[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS]" "Hey, thank you." "Oh, come on now." "Cut it out." "Quit it, come on, knock it off." "Hey, let's hear it for this band, huh, ladies and gentlemen?" "JOEY:" "Yes." "My favorite guy in any band is always the bass player." "Because the bass player's getting into his thing:" "[MIMICS BASS GUITAR]" "He sees the rest of the guys in the band and he smiles, right?" "He's like:" ""Hey, I like you guys."" "Then you go to a heavy metal concert." "It's always great, you get to hear the lead guitarist, right?" "He's always:" "[MIMICS ELECTRIC GUITAR]" "Your friends are just going, "Hey, just wait." "They're gonna sing, dude."" "Ladies and gentlemen, every time you pick up the phone and make a pledge you do some magic for the kids." "And now, I'd like to do some magic for you." "Ladies and gentlemen, my lovely assistant, Rebecca Donaldson and the Cabinet of Mystery." "[BAND PLAYS]" "[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS]" "The Cabinet of Mystery!" "[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS]" "And now, ladies and gentlemen, for the hard part:" "Putting her back together." "[DRUM ROLL]" "Get me out of here." "While I go for help, ladies and gentlemen why don't we bring out the next act?" "I am the next act." "I'm singing a duet with Danny." "Well, in that case, the song stylings of Danny Tanner and the Rebecca Donaldson Trio." "Joey." "Joey!" "[BAND PLAYS]" " Becky?" " In here." "[SINGS] Kiss today goodbye" "Maybe we should do this later" "No, we do what we have to do" "And I can't regret" "Oh, you're gonna regret this." "What I did for love" "What I did for love" "Gone" "Love is never gone" "As we travel on" "Love's what we'll remember" "Kiss today goodbye" "Kiss my career goodbye" "Point me toward tomorrow" "Point me toward the exit" "Wish me luck" "Same to you" "Yeah, the same to you, fella." "Oh, can't forget, won't regret What I did" "For love" "What I did for love" "What I did for" "Love" "DANNY:" "Thank you." "[inaudible DIALOGUE]" "[CHEERING]" "Thank you, cheerleaders." "Boy, I miss football season." "Okay." "Becky, why don't we check that tote board?" " Becky?" " Oh, Beck went home to get some sleep." "Oh, right, I forgot." "She went home to get some sleep." "Sleep." "Hey, I'm back!" "And we've only got a little while left, four hours in fact to hit that sack." "I mean, hit the million-dollar mark." " Hi, Dad!" " Oh, look!" "It's my family, back to answer the phones." " Hi, wonderful family." " Hi, Daddy." "Hi, Michelle." "I got an idea." "Why don't you wait there and why don't we sit down in this chair and rest awhile?" "It's a nice, soft, cozy chair." "Come here, honey." "Oh, boy." "Oh, you're heavy." "So, sweetheart, what did you do last night?" "I went to sleep." "You went to sleep?" "Aren't you lucky." "You were in your bed, and you were comfortable under the covers and then you closed your eyes...." "Daddy." "Daddy." "Earth to Danny." "Daddy is sleeping." "Well, your daddy has to put a show on for the people." "I'll do it." "[SINGS "ITSY BITSY SPIDER"]" "JESSE:" "Oh, yeah!" "Too much." "[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS]" "Why is a 3-year-old hosting my telethon?" "Well, because her daddy is sleeping." "[SINGS "ITSY BITSY SPIDER"]" "[SINGS "ITSY BITSY SPIDER"]" "Oh, yeah!" "Ain't nothing to it." "A baby can do it." "All right." "Thank you very much." "Joey, what's up next?" "Well, not Danny." "Well, it seems like we" " We have a little gap in the entertainment, if you will here at the We Love Our Children Telethon '90." "And not that we're in trouble or anything but there are a lot of great acts in town:" "The Bolshoi Ballet, the Beach Boys, Chimps on Ice...." "If any of you are out there watching, I'm not gonna beg but please, please come down and help out." "Now what do you wanna do?" "Wanna sing the alphabet?" "Come on, man, do that alphabet thang you do so well." "Here's your mike, babe." "[SINGS THE ALPHABET]" " Now she's singing the alphabet?" " Oh, don't worry." "Aside from that M-N-N-O-P part, she's pretty good." "[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS]" "Congratulations." "You guys are now the hosts." "Your first job, wipe his chin." " Well, what do we do now?" " I don't know, but I ain't wiping his chin." "I have an idea." "I can do my dance to "Love Shack."" "What do you guys think?" "Great." "I'll go get the tape." "Why don't you sing that song you do to Michelle?" " Well...." "JESSE:" "Thank you." "MICHELLE:" "The kitty goes: meow." "The cow goes: moo." "And there you have it, the fabulous barnyard stylings of Michelle Tanner." "Thank you very much." " You're welcome very much." " All right." "And now for our next performer." "Here she is performing "Love Shack," baby Stephanie Tanner!" "[MUSIC PLAYS]" "[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS]" "Thank you, thank you!" "And now, here she is, direct from my room my sister and yours everybody give it up for D.J. Tanner!" "[MUSIC PLAYS]" "[SINGS]" "[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS]" "Yeah!" "[SINGS AEROSMITH'S "JANIE'S GOT A GUN"]" "Stop it." "Becky, please do something before he starts doing Tina Turner." "Well, Jess, I have a woman on the phone who's willing to pledge $200 if Kimmy Gibbler will ride her unicycle." "Gosh, that's a generous offer." "Unfortunately, Kimmy Gibbler's not here." "Guess again." "Thanks for calling, Mom." ""Sabre Dance" in G. Hit it, boys." "[BAND PLAYS]" "Kimmy." "Kimmy!" "Kimmy!" "Kimmy!" "Kimmy!" "Kimmy!" "I close my eyes for two seconds, it's the Kimmy Gibbler Telethon." "Danny, you've been out for four hours." "Four hours?" "Why didn't somebody wake me?" "Oh, my gosh." "I'm ruined." "I ruined the telethon." "My life is over." "Danny, we're still on the air." "That concludes the dramatic portion of our show." "Don't worry." "We took over as hosts for you." "Joey, myself, Becky." "The girls did a little dancing." "It went extremely okay." "Thanks, man." "You guys are the best." " Go get them." " All right." " Well, let's take a look at our new total." " All right." " Nine-hundred and sixty thousand dollars!" " All right!" "Doing great, but we've gotta hit that million-dollar mark." "The kids are counting on you." "When we go off the air, don't forget about other charities that need help." "Guess who's here!" "Guess who's here!" "One of the Beach Boys, Mike Love, and he's right over there." "Where'd he go?" "I lost him!" "I lost a whole Beach Boy!" "Excuse me, I'm over here." " Dr. Love, how you doing?" " How you doing?" " What are you doing down here?" " Well, I heard you begging for help and I think it's a great cause, and I think we can work it out." "You'd really put us over the top if you'd sing." "I'd love to sing "Be True to Your School" if we could get cheerleaders out here." " Oh, yeah." " Oh, thanks." "Here you go." "Okay." "I'm gonna sing." "I'm singer, you're drummer." "Right." "I'm gonna start the song, I'm gonna pause, a little drum roll." " Got it." "Little solo." " Little, tiny thing." "I'm in." "Got it." "Let's hit it!" "[SINGS "BE TRUE TO YOUR SCHOOL"]" "You asked me to play a solo." "Ever since Ringo started touring, we've had problems with drummers." "Anyway, why don't you come up here and play guitar?" " All right." "MIKE:" "Here." "JESSE:" "Hit it!" "[SINGS "BE TRUE TO YOUR SCHOOL"]" "Well, we're almost at the end of the show." "Let's check the tote." "We did it!" "[CHEERING]" "DANNY:" "Oh, boy!" "We love our children!" "We love you!" "Thanks a million!" "Subtitles by SDI Media Group" "[ENGLISH SDH]"