"For years man has retreated back to nature to make peace with himself." "Back where the sight of greenery against an azure blue sky, the sweet, fresh, salt smell of the tide gently kissing the sandy shore, the peaceful birds gathering to keep company to a bit of seaweed from some distant land." "the ancient rocks standing immobile against the horizon, the gently bubbling brook running down the back of a friendly mountain caressed by the heavenly leaves of a gracefully bending tree can help him forget the mad, impetuous, senseless, driving buzzle of the city with its traffic," "its sirens and its speed." "Modern living is driving an ambitious civilization ever forward to higher buildings, automatic autos, more potent pills, bigger stomach aches, quicker liquor, faster freeways and tighter underwear." "But the common man, the simple, uncluttered fellow who merely lives from day to day, what is he doing?" "What is he thinking?" "And where, I ask you, where is he going?" "THE IMMORAL MR. TEAS" "Who knows what mission the average man may set upon as he greets each new day?" "Who knows what fate may befall him in this helter skelter world in which we live?" "The common man on a mission together with an unobtrusive, inconspicuous brown suitcase strapped to a bycicle." "Delivering radio-active isotopes to speed research that will make our country invincible against enemy attack?" "Or information, perhaps, that will aid our vast system of counter-espionage?" "Modern man must find his place in society and diligently pursue his objective, never wavering from the appointed task for which he has been chosen never shirking his duty or letting outside interferences deter him." "REST ROOM" "Modern man must, in the course of his endeavors, always keep his eyes on the future for who knows how the windy zappers of fate may twist and cross two lives?" "But what does man think of when the toils of day are ended?" "His mind can turn to nobler thoughts:" "books, music, poetry, companionship." "And so ends another day, another seeming eternity in the complex scheme of things." "But all work and no play makes Willy a dull boy." "In fact, it makes anybody dull." "That's why you'll find modern man leaving the hustle of the city to escape where the gentler sounds of nature beckon him to rest a while and seriously ponder his problems unhindered by the bothersome distractions that ordinarily harass him." "And so ends a day of meditation, a day of communion with nature." "Tomorrow the grind of labor will be lessened, perhaps, by the fond memories that will linger." "Tomorrow, another dull day like the last." "Another dull day like the last?" "Or has the pressure of modern living begun its insidious task of breaking down the moral fiber of our indomitable Mr. Teas?" "Psychiatry." "A friendly oasis in the vast desert of masculine frustration." "The minute examination of the mind to discover the underlying mental causes producing certain mental and nervous disorders." "But, as difficult as is modern civilization, equally as forceful is the spirit of modern medicine." "A few words of friendly assurance and once again the step is forceful and Mr. Teas is on with newfound confidence." "Occasionally, of course, the need for more than one day's rest will arrive, a pleasant prescription easily and pleasantly administered." "Perhaps a different locale will suffice in bringing peace to the fevered brow." "Solitude is undoubtedly the answer." "Exercise, the use of the proper muscles and fresh air to clear the action of celebration." "If the thoughts of the working day continue to plague one, concentrating on random facts is occasionally helpful." "Psychiatrists have stated that relaxation is aided by remembering useless figures, numbers, dates and places." "Doctors have stated for many years that sunshine, in measured quantities, has a very beneficial effect on the human body." "Sunshine also is important to photosynthesis and evaporation, which eventually leads to rainfall." "The density of water is 64.4 pounds per cubic foot." "Water was one of the most important earlier means of transportation." "The sea has, for years, fascinated the roving instincts in man." "All kinds of cargo can be shipped by water." "In fact, the United States exports more tonnage per year than any other country." "Equally as varied as the cargo is the different types of power available for propelling watercraft." "Many famous discoveries were made by seagoing men." "Columbus, Magellan were two." "But there are many others." "For it is a natural instinct in man to discover and conquer, to plant his staff in new soil and acquaint himself with the natives of the area." "Bathing, a custom that we all accept today, was frowned upon, strangely enough, by our early forebears." "They thought it was vain and sinful." "Now we all take pleasure in this pleasant pastime." "Rubber was invented in 1873 and has been used in a variety of ways since then." "More than one sturdy chassis has been supported by the dependable strength of rubber." "Yes, man has come a long way since he spent his time idling uselessly in the trees." "And, too, he's progressed tremendously since he climbed down from the trees and trod uncertainly on the shores and waters with the flora and the fauna, the mammals and the reptiles." "Speaking of reptiles, there are many varieties of poisonous snakes." "Most of them are found on the dark continent, but we have a few at home, too." "The outboard motor has brought a renewed interest in water sports in this country." "Every year more and more marine enthusiasts flock to the shores of our lakes and streams for exercise and helpful relaxation." "The guitar, as we know it today, came about as a result of many types of earlier stringed instruments." "There was first the harp, the lute, then the zither and mandolin." "The guitar is a very sensitive instrument, with G being the third string, and is played over a system of frets." "Sensitive men have been fretting over G-strings for years." "Advertisers have found that the women of America are keenly interested in the type of soap they use." "In fact, the men of America have a keen interest in the product and how it is used also." "The fish that got away." "A small frustration." "Yet frustrations must be relieved or they can grow." "That was a fish, wasn't it?" "Well?" "Wasn't it?" "Still confused, perhaps?" "More random facts to ease the mind:" "Communion with nature simply must bring relief, mustn't it?" "Of course it must!" "The lingerie manufacturers have made a fortune in recent years with innovations in styling and new synthetic silks and rayons." "Women are deeply interested in their undergarments." "As a matter of fact, who isn't?" "If frustration persists, modern man can at least be thankful for the advances in modern psychiatry." "On the other hand, some men just enjoy being sick."