"THE SECOND HEIMAT" "CHRONICLE OF A GENERATION IN 13 FILMS" "1" " Time of the First Songs" " Hermann 1960" "Hermann, my dear Hermann, now I am alone again but I still do not feel abandoned." "I still feel the warmth of your face in my lap and of your wet hands... which make me so strong that I believe I have to shout aloud... and squeeze everyone half to death so they can share our love." "When we were cuddling in our little tent... so that we both were not cold anymore... you and me and eternity was all that was left." "I don't know how long that is, but one more day would be enough." "Isn't that crazy?" "You'II laugh at me." "I'm quite grown up and old now... but I'm still a little girl." "But you're there, and nothing bad can happen." "AII that lovely time at home, everything had to be secret." "Now everything is so easy and so clear and I'm not afraid anymore." "Let's not be sad anymore or cry either, will you promise me that?" "I am quite sure our child could not have lived... at your mother's who was not allowed to know of our love." "But if we still love each other in a few years, we will have a baby." "Or two or three." "Or 10." "Hermann, I Iove you forever." "Your KIärchen." "Open the door, Hermann." "I'II break it in." "Open up!" "They destroyed my first, my only love." "My mother, my stepbrother... the whole village was against KIärchen." "She was 12 years older than me, and worse still... a refugee." "No money, no home, no family." "They hounded her out like an animal." "AII in the name of mother love, and my own good." "Dear God." "You are in me." "So I know you can hear me." "Therefore I now make the following solemn vows." "First..." "I shall never love again." "Because if love exists... it can only exist once... and I would rather bite my tongue off than saying to another woman "I Iove you."" "And I can well do without the second... the fourth and the fifteenth love... because I think they are ridiculous." "Second..." "I swear that I will leave Schabbach... and the horrible Hunsrück." "In particular, I will leave my mother's house... and I will never come back." "Not even when I am famous... and they all want to see me." "especially not then." "Third... music shall be my only love... and my only home." "Whenever there's freedom, there's music." "I know no one will understand me... but I'II learn from the great composers... for they too were always lonely." "Dear God..." "I solemnly swear to do all this... as soon as I'm 19 and my exams are over." "I was the only one in the class to be orally examined in religion." "It was the chaplain's last attempt to save me." "I was put through my paces, not in Music, philosophy or Literature... but in theology... which I rejected in terms of it being a question of beliefs." "Sit down." ""The aim of force is freedom." "As we bind the vine..." ""to free it from the crawling dust, heavenwards to wind. "" "That was my text, and the subject was freedom." "But I couldn't believe in a God... who wouldn't let me use the mind he gave me." "What's this mark in religion?" "A in German, A in Music, A in Art..." "A in Maths and Physics, B in Chemistry." "But F in religion, chaplain?" "It's not a question of faith, I assure you." "only Simon knows what's happened these last few years." "religion is a subject like any other." "Discuss the text from a theological point of view." "I'II start with crawling dust... winding and binding." "crawling dust evokes the devil... crawling on his belly like a snake." "But the image fails... because a vine can't go to heaven, can it?" "The theme is freedom of the will, an old theological problem." "The predestination controversy goes back to the fourth century." "The problem is this..." "God is omnipotent and omniscient, how can we...." "I got an A in religion." "This was pretty embarrassing in front of my friends... who wanted to see the heretic and class rebel in me." "So, on matriculation day, instead of a speech..." "I wrote a piece... for piano, choir and orchestra... to a poem by RiIke." "secretly, I thought of KIärchen, who cried when I read it to her." "Now that's good music, isn't it?" "He does play well." "I taught him to kiss." "A farewell present." "careful, it only folds one way... but it's the best map of Munich, pocket-sized." "Just a moment, Simon." "The chaplain was waiting for me." "He was almost too upset to speak." "He begged me to go into a retreat... and learn to subdue my pride... with fasting and prayer." "But God hadn't helped me, I had helped myself." "I knew that, now especially, from the applause and with my exam... in my pocket." "only as he turned away I saw that he was crying." "Where's your Ma?" "In the kitchen." "I'II go and have a chat." "On September 2, 1960, I Ieft Schabbach forever." "I'd heard nothing from KIärchen for two years." "I Ieft and my heart was ice-coId." "I Ieft for Munich's bright lights and mysteries... for Schwabing, where all the artists lived... for concerts and premieres, museums and galleries... for theatres and film studios, nightclubs and cafes... ateIiers and attics." "I refused to look back even once." "I felt that freedom was awaiting me." "At last I alone decided, what was good or bad... beautiful or ugly... permitted or perhaps forbidden." "I was born a second time... not from my mother's body, but from my own mind." "I would seek my own, my chosen home." "Men and their friends make history." "Not great personalities... not social forces or ideology... just men and their friends." "Take JuIius Caesar." "Without his friends... what was left?" "CIassicism." "Think of Goethe and Schubert... of HegeI, and the other Munich personalities." "Mann, Brecht, Feuchtwanger, Steiner." "classical status come later, as a profundity bonus." "Profundity bonus?" "Do you believe in yourself, my dear?" "You must." "Go to the Schwabing cafes, you'II learn to there." "That brings people together." "The search for oneself... for life, for meaning, for destiny...." "Am I going too fast for you?" "Under the red lantern of St. paul" "You'II wait to welcome me home" "What do you play?" "Guitar." "And piano, of course." "classical?" "If you Iike the avant-garde, Iet me tell you something." "The avant-garde is fine, but... it needs to slow down." "It's going much too fast." "And something else." "The first of you to free himself from ideology... the first of you to do that, will succeed." "You don't believe me now... but when you're over 30, you will." "I can't imagine being over 30." "Are you Jesus?" "No, but if Jesus had lived to 50... his religion would only have been a youthful folly and nothing else." "I got these cauIifIowers in Sigmaringen." "half the price you'd pay in Munich." "I buy all my food in the country." "That's how I survive." "Have you ever had cauliflower PoIish-styIe?" "A great invention." "I'm having it for supper." "delicious." "You know, Munich is an island of light." "The rest of Bavaria is utterly provincial..." "lost in medieval darkness." "Are you new here?" "Yes, but I have a map." "Munich has the loveliest women... in the Western hemisphere." "An orgy of beauty... a delirium." "Good luck, Jesus." "Another gold medal for Germany." "Can't you look out?" "You are messing up the street." "Can I see Dr. Brettschneider?" "I have a letter of introduction." "Come in." "Renate?" "That pain again, what is it?" "Who's this?" "Hermann Simon." "I have a letter from my music teacher..." "SchiIIer, from Simmern." "He doesn't realise... there's not a student room left in Munich." "18,000 at the University alone." "A music student, too?" "Trombone, I bet." "You'II need soundproof walls." "No, I play guitar and piano." ""I often think of our good times in Innsbruck." ""Those were the days, before the war!" "Your old friend, karl SchiIIer."" "We were students together, me in law, karl in music." "We fell for the same girl." "He got her, I married her." "When I got back from the war in '47... she'd run off with a lorry driver." "They're never at home either." "I couldn't stick Innsbruck after that." "Dr. Brettschneider is a famous judge." "It makes a good reference to work for him." "Are you a law student?" "In the second year." "Look here." "See that little shop down there?" "It says, "Leather repairs and repairs of stockings."" "Where?" "Over there." "See the little cards in the window?" "That's how students look for rooms." "Why don't you try it?" "Good idea." "Is that the Frauenkirche?" "Come in until it stops." "Rain and storm all the time." "Life is hard in this small town." "A big village, that's what Munich is called, and rightly so." "Can I put a card up, too?" "These optimists." "Another one." "If you Iike." "What do you study?" "Music." "A musician?" "An artist?" "I saw it in your mournful eyes." "I Iive for music." "What do you play?" "Piano, violin?" "You must tell me." "Piano and guitar." "And I hope to study composition." "Have you ever heard the name Moretti?" "italian conductor in Budapest?" "My husband." "A genius!" "But a bastard." "He left me in '56." "He thought he could leave me behind with the Communists." "But he thought wrong." "How about a cup of coffee?" "But I really have to find a room." "luckily, I'm easygoing." "That's how I survived it all." "Leaving home, marrying an artist." "They're all completely faithless:" "artists, men in general." "You ought to be poisoned." "Come in, young man." "Turn left." "Make yourself at home." "You won't regret it, you'II see." "My coffee is famous." "Artists confuse me." "What a pity." "Fate." "Do you believe in fate?" "will you play something for me?" "It would give me such pleasure." "What's this?" "Gypsy Love, by Lehár." "When the zither sings" "How my heart longs" "For my native language" "And my native land" "For thy woods I sigh" "And thy golden fields" "I sigh for thee, sweet Hungary" "You may go" "From east to west" "The world is good, but home is best" "Never mind, life's for living" "Never mind, love's for giving We can't be sad forever" "If your love for me has died I'II find another lover" "Forget the tears I cried" "I can't live without caresses" "I can't live a day without love" "Let me show you something." "How would you Iike to live here?" "You can have it." "Surprised?" "But someone's already here." "only another four weeks." "I've given him his notice." "He's lying low, but he'II be back." "You understand?" "On the thirtieth his notice is up." "Then he's out on the street, and it's yours." "You mean I can rent it?" "You dreamer, I keep telling you..." "I've always wanted a musical Iodger." "Doesn't matter if you practise." "You have to, right?" "Six hours a day..." "like Moretti." "My poor husband, the bastard." "You are a genius." "I see it in your eyes." "I'm doing a good deed." "One day there'II be a plaque outside:" ""Here lived the famous composer...."" "What is your name?" "A name to remember." "I'II be right back." "I've got a room." "You never." "I knew it." "I move in next month." "Forgive us, we've been peeking." "What key is this in?" "I say C major, Frau Krause says" "A minor." "It's not in any key." "It's atonal." "Then we're both wrong." "congratulations." "I don't know how you do it." "karl could write music, too, just like that." "You're a funny lot, you musicians." "What is it then, a symphony?" "It's for the entrance exam for the Conservatory." "careful, it's tomorrow." "We must wish you luck." "This is how you do it, right?" "Goodbye." "Thanks." "Have you got somewhere to sleep?" "I've only been here two hours." "That's my address in your pocket." "Just don't ring the bell, okay?" "My landlady would go crazy." "Throw a stone at the window and I'II come down." "I mean, if you have nowhere to go." "Here I am." "So much luggage." "Your trunk can go into the attic, it's safer." "You can keep the key... until you come." "I've got the money." "Be careful with money." "The world is evil... and its root is money." "This is a bad neighbourhood." "people are bad." "If you'd seen our house in Hungary...." "Now that was living." "A red mansion, with separate entrance for servants." "Give me your hand." "I'm afraid of the dark." "Such sensitive fingers." "I know what you musicians are like." "I'm very grateful." "You see, you owe it all to your music." "veal cutlet, 1 2.50 marks." "They must be crazy." "These enchanted nights." "The scent of summer and the gentle perfume of women." "For a lapsed catholic like me, it's a sacrament." "What say you, fair lady?" "It depends how you look at it." "Have you read Thomas Mann's story?" ""God's sword flashes also over Munich, city of pleasure."" "Night had fallen and I hadn't eaten." "I had nowhere to sleep." "I'd walked the strange streets so long..." "I no Ionger knew where I was, everything was so big." "Had I been in Schabbach that morning?" "I saw a Iong road stretch before me." "I was cold, but the sky was full of music." ""You see..." ""you owe it all to music. "" "I couId hardly believe it." "I'II throw the key down." "Better use the toilet now... while she's still watching TV." "Where is the toilet?" "First left." "Be quiet." "I don't need this." "Above my head the pipes gurgIed." "AII around me was the presence of strangers... all coughing, snoring, blowing their noses." "This was the city, too." "Did you put the seat down?" "I'd better go myself." "I was alone with a strange woman." "actually, I found her ugly." "And I did not Iike her accent." "Yet a feeling of adventure gripped me." "I was intensely aware she was a woman." "She always knows if a man's been in the house." "You forgot the seat, of course." "Undress, the bed's nearly ready." "I never slept in a strange bed till I was 12." "I was sure I'd never fail asleep." "My mother remembered that when I Ieft... and she tied up my bedding in a huge bundle." "But I wouldn't take my sleeping habits with me." "I wouldn't take... any other advice... from my family either." "smells good." "Oh, you." "It's nothing." "It is only UIbrich from next door, he does that every night." "I'II turn the lights off." "Renate's airbed reminded me of a school trip." "I had been awake half the night... and pondered my inner loneliness." "Now my heart was pounding." "Can you put the lamp off?" "At the end of the first long day, I wasn't tired." "What district is this?" "Don't know." "The GoethepIatz is nearby." "I must learn my way around." "I was in the Hofgarten." "Is that near Schwabing?" "Not very." "I've been here a year and a half." "Do you Iike it?" "It knocks spots off Neu-UIm." "You're from Neu-UIm?" "Is your quilt okay?" "Take mine." "This is a Iot better than sleeping in the park." "I saw an old guy in the Hofgarten... completely sozzIed, snoring, all curled up." "Do many people sleep in the park?" "You know, women don't go to such lonely places." "I'm scared of the city sometimes." "And I haven't got a boyfriend either." "Is that so hard?" "You must meet a Iot of students." "I know I'm not very pretty." "And when I'm excited, I sweat." "Is that your thesis?" "No, it's just an essay." "We have to be even quieter now." "I keep thinking about the exam." "We start at 9:00 with the aural." "What's that, then?" "Chords." "You have to guess the notes." "It sounds awfully hard." "It is, unless you have perfect pitch." "And have you?" "Of course not." "It'd be hell." "No great musician ever had perfect pitch." "It would drive you mad, and stop you working freely." "So you can be too gifted." "I'm glad to hear it." "Why?" "Sometimes I feel so stupid." "The worst thing about being stupid... is not knowing you are." "I've always thought I was clever." "The great philosophers and poets... always knew they were pretty clever." "plato, Descartes...." "They said, "I know I know nothing."" "But they knew they were special." "Do you think you are special?" "I don't know." "When I write or compose... sometimes things come out that surprise me." "And I wonder what that means." "I don't know about myself, either." "I wanted to be an actress." "But even my father was against it... who was always so good to me." "If only I were a little prettier." "ShouIdn't we be quiet?" "You know... actors can be whatever they like." "Kings and queens... or whores or beggars." "They can try out many deaths... and many, many lives." "My favourite would be a love story." "I've finished with love forever." "You twerp." "When you leave tomorrow, don't forget the toilet seat." "My landlady leaves at 7:00, but be quiet." "I want to sleep in." "The other students... moved in a seIf-confident way, they laughed... greeted each other loudly and seemed to know everything already." "One girl even brought her mother and a chauffeur... who carried her harp." "Stinking rich, obviously." "At home, I'd been a genius." "Some of my teachers had wept to see me go." "Here, suddenly I was a nobody." "How is my German?" "Do I have a bad accent?" "No." "Where are you from?" "I am an autodidact." "Do you understand me when I speak?" "Am I correct?" "You understand me." "I am extraordinarily amazed." "German is my eleventh language." "I studied it for six months... before I Ieft chile." "I Iearned it from Langenscheidts phonetic dictionary." "Was that correct?" "eleven languages?" "actually 10." "Music is the eleventh." "I count music, too." "Have you done it yet?" "Done?" "I don't understand." "I mean the exam." "Not yet." "I am preparing." "eleven languages." "CastiIian, english, French, italian..." "Russian, Finnish, Dutch, Esperanto, Chinese... and German." "Is that 10?" "Are they perfect?" "Not at all." "naturally, I prefer the Latin tongues." "You're at home all over the world." "Foreigners must be very careful." "We are watched." "We live in fear." "I must lose my accent." "May I speak with you?" "Number 47." "That be me!" ""That be me"?" "Leave your things here." "So, you are Herr Hermann Simon?" "Come over to the piano, please." "Now turn around, please." "That's right." "Identify the intervals, please." "A fifth." "A second." "A minor second." "That's a diminished fifth." "also called?" "Augmented fourth or tritone." "Tritonus diaboIus in musica." "Now tell me if these chords are major or minor." "Major." "Minor." "Minor again." "Major." "Now major and minor together." "Which is which?" "Listen carefully." "The major is below and minor above." "Can you name the notes?" "I'II give you the chord again." "In the Ieft hand, E-fIat, G, B-fIat." "And in the right..." "D, F, A." "Do you have perfect pitch?" "No, only relative." "Are you sure?" "relatively sure." "What did he say?" "My luck held in the rest of the exam." "After my Canto triumphaIe... the Professor of Composition even shook my hand." "AngeIika, it'II be awhile before you play like that." "But you will..." "I'm sure... and the Professor agrees." "We'II do it." "My mother." "She helped with my harp." "I noticed." "Great, isn't it?" "I never knew the xylophone could sound like that." "It's a marimba." "But, yes, it's great." "Get out of the shot!" "sylvia, start again." "Heads down!" "This was Nazi headquarters." "Maybe some of you were here that day." "hitler, Goering, Hess... marched here from Schwabing, down the street." "There was a huge crowd yelling:" ""We want the Fuehrer!" ""One people, one Reich, one Fuehrer!"" "You're in shot." "could you, please...." "Can I take my cauliflower?" "Everyone, please." "See you soon, I hope." "Do you have accommodation?" "More or less." "I'm at the Pension Victoria." "My money will last... twenty days and a night." "An eternity." "Germany is rich." "I see it in your faces." "And clean." "You are all so clean." "What is your economic situation?" "Is it secure?" "No." "Not at all." "But I won't take a penny from my mother." "Is she rich?" "How did we get into this?" "shall we play your piece?" "It's not finished yet." "We have to give the camera back." "I wouldn't have thought... that we'd be able to finish this take." "It was sufficient, really." "I am aiming the camera at the girl, point it to the ball... and he starts his sermon." "unbelievable." "Carry on, we like it." "Some machine." "Is it studio quality?" "There are better ones." "The Swiss take them up to 1 7 kHz, music quality." "We only use location sound." "What's that?" "You know the nouvelle vogue?" "Out of the studios, into the streets." "Dad's movies are dead." "I would Iike to go to Paris." "A city celebrated in song." "Munich still stinks of the Nazis' sweaty feet." "particularly this square here." "Is that what your film's about?" "brutality in Stone." "That's what it's about." "Is that a triplet?" "I Iove Munich." "Beginnings are easy." "One often finds one's best friends on the first day." "That would be sad." "This is already my second day." "It was nice while it lasted." "The camera is on Ioan." "We were allowed to keep it 24 hours." "Tonight we were sitting in his room and practised." "You know what it's like?" "It is like in the military service." "Practicing moves." "Taking your weapon apart, cleaning it, putting it together again." "On the double!" "I didn't do national service." "I failed the medical." "Fingers too delicate?" "No, my heart." "I had heart trouble." "That is the right organ to refuse the service." "I tried it with my bottom." "Refused to follow orders, a week in jail, refused again." "But I got away finally, to berlin." "Where are you from?" "I'm a Bavarian BerIiner." "You can hear that!" "Leaves its mark, eh?" "Are you the sound man on the film?" "No, I am not on the staff." "incidentally, I know how to handle recording machines." "I am a medical student." "At least I have some moral basis." "It's just like I imagined." "film units everywhere." "I Iike your piece." "Let's play." "I been here a year." "I plays in a jazz band." "Oh, aye, I knows Munich well." "What was that sound in the depths of the tram?" "The voice was so familiar... but in this place, so strange." "It was Hunsrück dialect!" "clemens from Mengerschied." "Hermann from Schabbach!" "What are you doing here?" "That you be here." "I'm looking for a room." "Come with me?" "Then we can chat." "clemens, I had no idea you was here." "Come see my place, at the coalman's." "What a coincidence, man." "Let's see if Josef's in." "He's a really great old guy." "Two of you, that's a bit of luck." "She won't start." "Give us a push." "Good lads." "Wait, I'II say when." "Wait!" "This is Hermann, from back home." "I met him on the tram." "You a jazzman, too, turning night into day?" "No, he's a student." "I wanted to ask... can he sleep in my room at night, when I'm working?" "There's a mattress in the shed." "Take that." "What's he study?" "Music." "At night?" "No, at the Conservatory." "If you need to practise in the day... you can use the shed." "Thanks again, lads!" "This is it." "But it ain't free, Hermann." "It'II cost you 50 marks." "Fifty marks?" "Are you kidding?" "well, seeing it's you, 40." "In such a short time, I had met only a person from Munich... part of the art scene." "I had a room for the next few weeks, and even another one... with a piano and a view." "I'd passed the exam, and met a film crew, and after two days between the places..." "I had Renate in case of need." "Now look what you've done!" "It's completely shattered." "You're supposed to be quiet." "Where have you been?" "I got in!" "To the Conservatory?" "For composition." "Out of 30 people!" "That's why it took so long." "I'II get the key." "No, I've come for my things." "I've met an old friend." "I can sleep at his place." "Now you're happy." "I'II come down." "We mustn't make so much noise." "Lucky my landlady's away, she'd have a fit." "I Iive right on Schwabing, on the Number 7 line." "And I'm composing a new piece." "Come and see me again some time." "Aye, I will that." "I mean, okay." "Do you know your way around yet?" "Since my bike got stolen, I take shortcuts." "From my place to the jazz club is six kilometres." "That's nothing in Munich." "At home it'd be two train stops." "should I get them to send my bike?" "definitely." "It'II only take a day." "Do you Iike it here?" "Sure, but it's only my third day." "Now, Iet's see... to the east, the River Isar... and the German Museum." "Straight ahead, MarienpIatz..." "OdeonspIatz, FeIdherrnhaIIe." "To the west, central Station... but you can't see that from here." "To the west, the station...." "What's the name of the place back there?" "plenty of time for that." "To the north, Schwabing, Siegestor..." "Ludwigstrasse, FeIdherrnhaIIe." "I have only eleven practice rooms, and they are booked." "How are we supposed to practise?" "They're all taken, I tell you." "It's regulations." "For those with a bit of manners, there's always a key." "Thanks." "I thought they were all gone." "You keep that one, don't lose it." "The Conservatory was forbidding, inside and out." "How could I study there?" "Our famous composition professor was always away on tour." "The practise rooms were all full." "Wherever I went, I was turned away." "There was something in this building I didn't understand." "Looking for someone?" "Isn't this Room 1 44?" "I've come to practise." "We're rehearsing." "Where did you get the key?" "From the porter." "C'est toujours Ia même chose." "The same old bottle." "They hear modern music, and out comes the spare key." "We always rehearse in the chamber music room." "It's only for seniors." "Where can I go then?" "Right." "Section 2, bar 13." "How I envied the older students." "They were the lords of creation... haughty, united against the whole world." "They were the proud prophets of the new music." "Whatever shocked the older generation, they did it." "The next bit is a blend... of the turbulent static of the first movement... and the harmonic expanses of the second." "AII built on these semiquavers in the bass." "Okay, Iet's go through it." "play it static and with a Iot of expression." "So this was the new music." "It fascinated me..." "like the city itself." "He's gone." "I haven't seen you for ages." "I was not accepted." "Maybe I must leave Munich." "But that's crazy." "You were the best of all of us." "They said my music is folklore." "But it's not." "It's just art." "shall we have some lunch?" "What will you do now?" "Wait a bit." "I don't mind waiting." "I do." "Waiting makes you feel stupid... and people think you're stupid." "I would go away." "Or fly away." "Let's be friends." "I'm Hermann W. Simon." "I'm Juan Ramon Fernandez Subercasseaux." "Subercasseaux sounds French." "It's my mother's name." "Very ChiIean." "Bon appétit." "It's Chinese for "eat slowly."" "But it means Guten Appetit." "I thought I knew her." "And you don't?" "Pity!" "I don't know her at all." "Are you afraid of women?" "I don't think so." "Sehnsucht." "That's a beautiful German word." ""nostalgia."" "No. "Longing."" "I'II never love again." "Do you believe me?" "No, I don't." "Ya must." "Ya?" "Ya, you." "You have a funny accent." "Where are you from?" "I'd seen an advertisement.:" ""EIocution lessons." ""Correct German Pronunciation. "" "It was in a drama school out in the suburbs." "My bike had arrived, so I cycled there." "I wanted to speak..." "like the others, Iike an educated city person... not Iike a peasant with straw in his hair." "I wanted to speak the language of the poets." "The Dishter...." "I mean, the Dichter." "The language of the poets and thinkers." "He's in the orangery." "Now relax." "I used to have an accent myself, but can you hear it now?" "No, not at all." "My problem was the hard "G."" "Mine is "C-H," we always say "S-H." But when I say "sh" I feel a fake." "You'II soon get used to it." "Now relax, loose lower jaw... palate slightly arched, tongue behind your teeth." "Don't stick your lips out." "Good." "We'II beat the Hunsrück yet." "Musicians understand discipline." "Now say after me...." "This is a lesson!" "Look at my lips, not hers." "The tighter the writer, the worse the verse." "A bit more expression will help." "Goddamned Hunsrück." "Come in, Herr Simon." "Anything new?" "A short piece." "For?" "For voice, flute, and cello." "A rare combination." "This is just the beginning." "It's very short." "It looks a little dodecaphonic." "could you sing the voice part for me?" "Yes, just the voice alone." "And piano, you Iike." "I want to hear the melody." "The great composers, Herr Simon... wrote their best works for people they loved." "A woman, perhaps." "In poetry, painting, music... in all art, love is a spur." "I think you understand." "Here, he's put dolce, very different from espressiva." "tell me... are you still all alone in Munich?" "I have my cello." "A good answer, perhaps too good." "You work hard, I know, I can hear it." "But working all the time... you won't make any new friends." "Why?" "You're very ambitious, or so you seem." "But sometimes... you should enjoy yourself a bit, too." "As a woman, I mean." "I know what's good for me." "On to Webern, then." "Right, Iet's have a look and see... what problems we've got here." "The famous Three Pieces." "We'II need the mute." "Now, the third piece always reminds of the Brahms." "It starts very aggressively." "You might say... it's a masculine beginning and then a soft feminine reply." "well, you can think of it that way." "Start on the bridge... with a good, aggressive attack." "Don't be shy." "Like this." "Now three bars of piano... then the next entry in the cello is that famous high F... gently, up to the crescendo, then dying away again." "Very difficult." "I'II play it through first, then we'II work on it." "What are you doing?" "Preparing the piano for my new piece." "Sounds?" "Safety pins, a rubber, sponges, a key... a cardboard roll, scissors." "What notation do you use?" "Nothing special, just the usual." "could you pass me the tuning key?" "Can I show you something I've written?" "I know you from somewhere." "Haven't I seen you in the composition class?" "Yes, I'm with Professor Heinrich." "YOUNG COMPOSERS' CONCERT" "Music is dead!" "Long live music!" "VoIker!" "No, it's not junk, and Chopin fits the film perfectly." "Look at the German marble." "Nonsense." "Nothing but polished plaster." "That's why it survived the war." "That's where HitIer signed the Munich Agreement." "We can hardly film that." "We'II see." "See?" "Sehnsucht." "Everywhere?" "If only I couId play as well as VoIker." "Be careful with your wishes." ""With your wishes"?" "Why?" "They might come true." "Who will take the camera factory job?" "Good pay?" "No, not at all." "The pay is, we get a camera free... for three or four weeks." "Is that it?" "well, "no camera, lads, until you can take it apart..." ""and put it back together screw by screw."" "He said?" "Herr arnold, the owner." "I'm no good at that sort of thing." "You know what?" "I'II do it." "Ever have piano lessons?" "They tortured me for five years with that shit." "Beethoven, Bach, bow down and worship." "Do you Iike Chuck Berry?" "Are you staying?" "Persona is about the lack of time in the modern world." "It lasts exactly one minute and lays bare its structure." "It transforms a minute of lived time... into a minute of musical time." "The stopwatch above your heads... will help you to follow the passage of time." "CIarissa LichtbIau on cello..." "Mac and Christos on drums." "Shame!" "The composer!" "Do you know the fable of the clockwork nightingaIe?" "The Emperor of China asked his watchmaker... to make him a toy bird of infinite precision." "It moved just like a bird." "It could even fly." "It perched on the tree outside the palace." "could it sing?" "More beautifully than any nightingale in the world." "In that case, I'd choose the clockwork one." "But the Emperor fell in love." "With the bird?" "It was horrible." "The bird had no soul." "It was the devil." "It was clockwork." "Or magic." "Sehnsucht." "I watched Juan mastering German." "He explored the words like new landscapes." "Sehnsucht." "The word intoxicated him." "But when he waxed lyrical about love, I remembered my Hunsrück vow." "Never to love again." "I resisted love with all my might." "Someone called." "A woman, waited two hours, then went." "A woman?" "Who was she?" "She didn't say." "Didn't say much, not that I was interested." "What did she say?" "The usual stuff." "Was I from Hunsrück, too?" "Was I at school with you?" "I didn't get most of it, I was half asleep." "Hermann, it's got to stop." "I'm up all night, I need my sleep." "What did she look like?" "Not big, but not small." "Skirt, blouse, curly hair, I think." "Not my type at all." "Never mind your type." "Dark hair?" "Brown eyes or blue?" "You must have looked at her." "I was trying to get some sleep." "She just sat there, smoked a bit, looked at your books." "She stuck the butts in a matchbox and took them away." "And didn't leave a word?" "She must have!" "I couldn't say when you'd be back." "Sometimes it's 6:00, sometimes 8:00, sometimes not at all." "Hermann, I thought we'd agreed." "clemens, don't be like that." "Try to help me now." "Was she from Munich?" "I don't think so." "Why not?" "Just a feeling." "also, she said she was passing through." "If she wants something, she will be back." "At least you must remember her eyes." "blue." "Or brown." "Yeah, Hermann, they were more brown." "You great oaf!" "Two hours in the same room and you didn't even look at her." "Where did you keep your eyes?" "Up your backside?" "You're a real village idiot, you are!" "typical Hunsrück!" "You call that noise you make music?" "You didn't have to leave home for that." "You could have stayed in Hunsrück shit, where you belong." "You drive me mad, blundering around Munich..." "like a village idiot." "So now we know." "The sensitive music student." "You were the village idiot here, until I gave you a room." "And that's all the thanks I get." "I pay for it, just as much as you." "And you were looking for someone to pay your 40 bloody marks." "I will find someone else, no problem." "Good." "You and your stupid noise!" "You can't even read music." "Louis Armstrong can't either." "That's about all you have in common." "Hermann, you're in a strange mood." "I can't make you out at all." "well, don't bother." "Hermann, you've come for the key." "Yes." "On the wall behind you." "I have had another key cut." "I got it put on this ring." "It's for you." "So when I'm out, you can still practise." "Thank you." "You really don't mind?" "Of course not." "Listen, before the war... we had two painters living here." "On the north side... because of the light." "They used to let me watch them." "One even painted my mother." "oil on board." "Great." "I helped him mix the colours, though I was only a little kid." "I have always liked artists." "They're the hardest workers." "Were you born here?" "No, over the road." "JosefpIatz, Number 4." "But we've had the coal depot for three generations." "The land belongs to a lawyer." "And some of the other houses, too." "When I got back from POW camp in '47... the whole place was in ruins." "Nothing left but the back building and the cellar." "shall I play the Bartök again?" "That brazilian piece by villa Lobos." "I really liked that one." "play that." "Is the Bartök too modern?" "In this rain, Iet's have something brazilian." "I have another piece for rain and solitude." "Did you write it?" "Yes, awhile ago." "suddenly, it was as if I had arrived." "As if, in all these weeks, I'd still been travelling... with the roar of the train in my ears." "Now, all at once, my hearing cleared." "My music teacher, Herr SchiIIer, was the first person I wrote to." "Perhaps I wanted him to envy me." ""I feel like the sorcerer's apprentice poised to summon the spirits." ""Munich is all I ever dreamed of, and music is my open sesame." ""I've made a few good friends, too." ""I'm staying with clemens Bangardt, he's become a jazz musician." ""So the Hunsrück is still with me, but I hope not forever." ""Long live freedom!" "Hermann Simon. "" "What's this?" "Munich." "Munich shines." "Thomas Mann." "It's from Hermann Simon." "That makes me very proud." ""Dearest Hermann." "It's four years since I saw you." ""But today I was passing through Munich..." ""and at Ieast I saw your room, your books, and your friend CIemens." ""If only I'd seen you, too..." ""and been able to talk to you." ""I waited for you for four hours..." ""but I didn't want to say who I was." ""Waiting there in your room, it became clear to me..." ""how very different our lives are now." ""Maybe that's why we didn't meet..." ""though I sat on the bed you sleep in." ""Dearest Hermann, this letter is to say goodbye." ""I wanted to do it in person, but perhaps it's better this way." ""I am married now, happily married." ""Why did I need so much to know..." ""what you feel about our love?" ""Does it still mean as much to you as it does to me?" ""Hermann, it still hurts." ""Maybe one day we'II say goodbye." "Your KIärchen. "" "THE SECOND HEIMAT" "CHRONICLE OF A GENERATION IN 13 FILMS" "2" " The eyes of strangers" " Juan 1960I61" "I came to the land of Johann Sebastian Bach to study music." "At home in chile I'd play the Bach on the marimba." "But the Conservatory did not accept me." "They said my marimba piece was folklore." "It wasn't." "But I'd come for other reasons, too." "Sehnsucht, as they say in German." "The winters are so cold in Europe." "I was afraid." "My mother had warned me." "How would I Iive without her help?" "Von Zett's Drama school needed a gymnastics teacher." "Hermann had told me." "So I went to apply." "A Chinese smile." "You're a strange young man." "What's your sign?" "Sagittario." "What's that?" "I don't know it in German, the one with the bow and arrow." "Do you play the piano?" "Yes, piano, too." "You can have the chauffeur's room." "unless there's scenery in it." "Show our new teacher your room." "But I have an acting class." "Don't argue!" "You're always arguing!" "This way." "This is the chauffeur's room." "Whoever has it has to drive the VW bus, too." "I've done it for two years." "She said to show you." "But I can't drive." "I had never dreamed so much as in Germany." "Every night I woke, my heart pounding." "I was afraid something had happened to my mother." "I'd had no more money from her, and no letter." "What are you doing?" "Monika, listen to me!" "But Frau von Zett, it's not dangerous." "Come up here!" "I can't." "I kept going back to the Pension Victoria... to ask if a letter had come for me, or money." "Are you sure there's a letter?" "I can't park here." "I'II drive round the block." "Pension Victoria" "Do you still live here?" "No, I've just fetched my bags." "With Wemer from the Drama school." "You mean, you've got the job and can live there?" "till the end of winter term." "But you don't look happy." "What's wrong?" "I was so sure there'd be a letter." "I dreamed about it last night." "It was blue, with a red stamp." "And my name was on it, in mayúscuIas." "I mean, in big letters." "Juan Ramon Fernandez Subercasseaux." "Pension Victoria, Munich, AIemannia." "Hermann, am I going mad?" "Of course not, Juan." "I'm not at home here yet, either." "Juan was the first friend I made in the city." "He had arrived six months before, to study music like me." "His curse was to have too many gifts." "He knew 10 languages... even Esperanto." "plus maths, karate, acrobatics, piano and drums." "He was a magician, a juggler, a dancer." "He'd been as much an outsider in his home as here." "Where are you going?" "Nowhere, I just had to get out." "Hermann, stop thinking about CIarissa." "I wasn't thinking about her." "You've fallen for her yourself." "only for her name." "Her name bothers me." "LichtbIau?" "No, CIarissa." "CIarissa comes from ciara, CIäre, KIärchen." "They're all ghosts' names for me." "I've got something for us." "It will completely sanitise our finances." "You translated that from Latin!" "Say it in German." "It's a concert for a rich bourgeois." "We need you." "Have you got a dark suit?" "Yes." "I mean no." "My trunk is at Frau Moretti's." "When is it?" "Tonight, at 6:00." "Then we'd better go." "Yes, we must leave on Line 25." "Leave?" "Where to?" "To a villa in GrünwaId." "They're expecting us at 7:00." "What will we play?" "A bit of Beethoven, Mozart...." "GrünwaId" "Juan seemed to float on air." "Often he seemed to me..." "like a being from another planet... invuInerabIe, alien." "He was almost robot-Iike, he spoke and moved so precisely." "We couldn't step on the carpets or the floorboards, picture that!" "And the food always tasted burnt." "Then she wasn't so rich, your aunt." "Bavaria film PIatz" "Next stop, Robert Koch Strasse." "It's empty now." "We can change." "What will we play?" "I don't know." "I couId play the Hungarian Rhapsody." "I won a prize with it once." "I couId play my piece, the entrance exam one." "Or maybe yours." "I mean, your flute piece." "But I haven't brought my guitar." "What have you got for me?" "Hurry, it's the stop after next." "Why am I thinking of my aunt again?" "My grandparents have a villa, too." "In Bario alto, Santiago's GrünwaId." "These really fit!" "I used to practise acrobatics there when I was about 1 2." "Are your parents rich?" "No, they're not." "And your father?" "He's dead." "He died in an earthquake in the Andes, in a copper mine." "Anything else for me?" "This bow tie." "Let me help you." "I only saw my father once." "When I was four years old." "During the war." "Listen, Iet's forget our fathers." "We gave birth to ourselves, created our own selves." "Didn't we?" "Then we are gods." "Do you think you're a genius?" "Yes!" "Don't you?" "I'm ashamed to." "We'd been asked to give the concert in a private house." "Our evening clothes were hired." "Thus disguised, we could study the Munich bourgeoisie." "But it's AngeIika!" "Why didn't you tell me?" "You know her, too?" "I was beginning to worry." "My father will be so pleased to meet you." "You're my birthday present for him." "I want to make him understand why I Iove music." "You see, he's a money man, and frightfully rational." "Just leave everything here." "These are friends of my parents." "Just dump your stuff." "Here are the music stands." "What shall we play?" "What have you got?" "VivaIdi?" "shall I fetch it?" "VivaIdi, for harp?" "Mummy, my friends have arrived." "I'm just getting our music." "Juan, what have you got us into?" "Munich bourgeoisie." "How long will we play?" "Two hours, maybe." "What's he do?" "Art dealer, I think." "You call this art?" "Look out!" "Here's the music." "I hope Papa will like it." "We'II do our best." "Egon, have you gone mad?" "We have guests and you play sailors!" "Now, a modern work for harp and flute." "What is it?" "The clocks put me out." "We'II soon fix that." "We played for nearly four hours." "We played classical music, folk music... songs to sing along with, arias... modern music, and even a composition of Juan's." "By midnight we were played out." "We'd entertained AngeIika's family into the ground." "But instead of the fat fee we were expecting... we got a warm handshake... and a bottle of red wine... the finest." "You got us into this." "I'd never have gone near that capitalist zoo!" "How about... we all jump off the bridge?" "I don't get it." "They spend their lives paying." "Why not pay us?" "They treated us as AngeIika's friends." "Shit!" "What'II we do?" "Suicide." "You crazy fool, what'II we do?" "sell the bottle." "It must be worth a Iot." "Look at this:" "Chateau Lafite RothschiId... extra cuvée 1937." "But do we know anyone who'd buy it?" "Maybe put an ad up at the school." "So AngeIika sees it, and buys it back." ""Papa, Papa, our lovely RothschiId!"" "mil novecientos treinta y siete." "The wine of fate." "I began to dream about CIarissa." "The more I thought Hermann loved her, the more I dreamed of her myself." "I hadn't seen her for so long, perhaps she'd changed... or never really existed." "But I had her address." "Is this a bad moment?" "I'm just leaving for Wasserburg." "To pick up a few things." "I just wanted to see you." "I'm glad, what shall we do?" "Maybe I can come?" "To Wasserburg?" "My mother's there." "Is it in Bavaria?" "In deepest Bavaria." "So we can go mountain climbing." "Is that correct?" "No, it's not in the mountains." "It's more like on an island." "What a surprise." "So, we're off to Wasserburg?" "What really made you come?" "I dreamed about you." "Onion dome." "My mother is a simple woman." "How can I explain...." "She's from the north." "From Pomerania... where people are very Protestant." "My father was a Protestant, too, from Virginia." "My father was a Bavarian." "Mother brought me here after the war." "I never knew him." "He died in the war?" "killed in action." "He and my mother were never married." "So she hid herself away." "And now she fears for me, you see?" "She fears you will become pregnant." "Every time I come home she talks to me about it." "For five years she tried to marry him." "She thought of nothing else, till the day he died." "Each time he came home on leave... his family stopped the wedding." "My parents tried everything... in order to make me legitimate." "I remember... it went on till I was five." "I've sworn never to marry." "Never." "You must believe me." "Have you a boyfriend?" "In Wasserburg they'II be surprised to see us together." "Or a lover?" "In Wasserburg every window has eyes." "When I come here..." "I don't feel it's my home at all." "Though I know every stone... and every corner where we used to hide." "I know who lives in every house." "That one, for instance, is Louise's." "Louise was in my class at school." "She plays the violin, badly." "But I'm not at home here." "You know, our name, LichtbIau, is a seafaring name." "Light blue." "That's the colour of the sea." "My grandfather was a captain on the baltic run... from StraIsund to Rügen." "That was before we had the railway." "well, CIarissa should really be home by now." "It's after 4:00." "Where can she be so long?" "It's not very polite of her, I'm afraid." "Have you known her long?" "Just a month." "I'm glad she has such weII-brought-up friends." "will you be staying the night?" "Yes, but I've forgotten my toothbrush." "I have a brand new one." "You can have it." "Untouched by human hand!" "I bought it for CIarissa." "It's four months now since she left home." "She's already a bit of a stranger." "How does your mother feel, with you so far away?" "I don't know." "I'm afraid she must worry about me." "Is she a good musician?" "Who?" "CIarissa?" "Yes." "Yes, she is." "She was a child prodigy here... though she only started the cello at 1 1 ." "I don't know much about it... but Dr. Kirchmeier... the head of our hospital, a very artistic-minded man... he said she had great talent from the start." "He was her patron." "He loves her like a daughter." "Can you understand that?" "You're a real gentleman, you are, Herr Juan." "I'm getting a new cello!" "An old italian one, a real beauty, with a fabulous tone." "I've tried... and it plays by itself." "You don't have to do a thing." "Have you had a good time together?" "Have you seen Dr. Kirchmeier?" "How is he?" "He's fine." "I'm hungry!" "I think my mother wants you to stay." "Untouched by human hand." "Anything else?" "Three Brötchen. "Chen." rolls." ""MiIch. " "MiIchmädchen. "" "Five weeks had passed since I'd arrived in Munich." "At last the day came when I couId move to Frau Moretti's." "My own place at last." "I wouldn't have to share a room anymore... especially not with clemens, and his dung heap dialect." "There was even a piano." "You'd better ring the bell, long and loud." "Good luck!" "Is nothing sacred anymore?" "Who is it?" "It's you, is it?" "Good God!" "You're the Iast person I was expecting." "Where are you hiding all these weeks?" "I hear nothing, I Iook for you." "I've been studying." "Studying!" "You make me laugh!" "I Ieft my things downstairs." "Young man, I must have a serious word with you." "I'm sorry." "I'm really very sorry... but the room is not free." "Where is my trunk?" "My God!" "Lock is broken!" "BurgIars!" "Oh, poor me, nowhere safe anymore!" "And where's my trunk?" "Is not there?" "Trunk is stolen!" "Don't ask me!" "I good, clean woman!" "Trunk bye-bye!" "I want my 50 marks back." "Not here now, come back tomorrow." "But I swear by all the saints in heaven... you will have your money back!" "I swear it!" "I good woman!" "I not steal poor student's money or trunk either!" "AII my work was in there... my books, my letters." "They're no use to anyone!" "My camera, maybe... and my telescope." "But my poems, my music." "I believe you." "But I don't believe you." "My trunk's been stolen." "stolen?" "really?" "You'd better come in, Herr... but weren't we on first name terms?" "Can I speak to Dr. Bretschneider?" "He's not very well... but if I take you in quietly...." "Our young adventurer, just look at me." "Herr Simon's trunk has been stolen." "stolen?" "Very nasty." "Come and tell me all the details." "No talking, Doctor." "Don't make such a fuss, Frau Krause." "would you please leave?" "I'm completely cleaned out." "That people can be so wicked, it's really awful." "You know, Hermann, I'm often scared of the big city." "sentimental crap!" "You're as bad as my mother." ""Hermann, the city's full of bad people." ""Stay home at night."" "Shut up!" "Eat or be eaten... that's the Iaw of the jungle!" "Hey, I haven't done anything." "Why is he so angry with me?" "So, that was Wasserburg." "Thank God we got away." "Was it very bad?" "Your mother told me her life story." "I shall buy a map, and go and see every town in Germany... north and south." "You're sad." "No, I'm not sad." "Maybe we're both sad." "You helped me a Iot, Juan." "I'd Iike to travel on forever." "Far away." "Far away from mothers and families and small towns, and...." "And far from love." "Let's forget love." "We will." "We'II forget love." "In a hurry?" "Working hard tonight?" "Maybe." "I'II never do it." "I'II never do it." "I can't go on doing the same thing year after year." "I feel ridiculous." "I know what you mean, believe me." "I'm one of thousands." "You're lucky then." "I'm one of millions." "play on, while I finish these logs." "I have to make money somehow." "Don't worry, money grows on trees." "But listen..." "I was always glad to be second best." "That's how I survived." "The best were the first to go in the war." "They always cop it." "But I'm not even third best." "I heard the loudspeaker three streets away." ""Danger of death." "Keep clear!"" "I was more curious than scared." "Though it was nearly 20 years since the bombs had fallen... some still lay unexpIoded." "One moment of tension, of irritation... awakening memories of panic and fear... then all was back to normal." "I needed a job." "I still had to pay CIemens... and I wasn't getting a penny from my mother in the Hunsrück." "Three people to clean windows at the hospital." "2.70 an hour for two days." "A man to clean carpets." "hello, Ansgar!" "How are you?" "Have you ever been in danger or death?" "We're always in danger of death." "No, I don't believe that, it's only words." "It's passed, before you know it's happened." "What's up?" "Just now, in the street...." "Two men for arnold and Richter... clearing out old film cans." "91, Türkenstrasse, in Schwabing." "That's us." "So here we were, in a Munich film archive." "We had to sort out the old nitrate prints... which were infIammabIe and dangerous." "It was illegal to keep them any longer." "Whatever we weeded out was destroyed." "We enjoyed the power this gave us... over the recent past." "But we worked as slowly as possible... so that the job would last." "Is it really so dangerous?" "It's nitrate." "That's like nitroglycerine." "Did you ever see The Wages of Fear?" "One spark, and Schwabing blows sky-high." "It's a huge bomb, in the middle of the city." "For 20 years, these Nazi films have been hiding here... ready to leap back to life, at any moment." "As soon as the cork pops out of the bottle." "But we're destroying them." "I often think of death." "When I walk down a street, and see a window..." "I imagine someone dying behind it." "A complete stranger..." "I know nothing about." "But death is something... that's in me, too." "When someone dies... he's just like me." "When I imagine people dying here..." "I almost feel at home." "Where are you from?" "From a crummy village in the Hunsrück." "So you know that family crap, too." "I Ieft all that forever." "And where are you now?" "Among perverts, whores and thieves, predators and their prey." "And all alive." "CIarissa had kissed me." "Then she had run away." "Whenever I wanted to see her now, she was busy." "The women convinced me I was in a foreign country." "Work of:" "VoIker SchimmeIpfennig and Jean Marie Weber" "SoIoists:" "Dietrich HenscheI" " Mac Lindinger Kristos Joachimides" " SaIvatore Fiorito" ""Wake up, for your dreams are evil!"" "This poem by Günther Eich... inspired VoIker SchimmeIpfennig... to set it to the music you are about to hear." "A film by Reinhard Dörr and Stefan Aufhäuser... will be shown, to combine the media." "The singer is Dietrich HenscheI... and the composer will conduct." "Wake up!" "For your dreams are evil" "Awake, for horror approaches" "It will find you, however, for you are from the fields of blood" "It will come in the afternoon and catch you napping If not today then tomorrow, but it will come" "How's it going?" "Like a dream." "Looks great from up here." "Oh, comfortable sleep on the rose-covered pillow" "A Christmas present from Anita embroidered with her own hands" "Do you Iike the music?" "No, I'm afraid not." "Pity." "And the words?" "The words are probably good, but I don't understand them all." "Why not?" "Where are you from?" "From chile." "Santiago." "Nature wakes, the casinos open in Baden-Baden" "Cambridge defeats Oxford by two and a half lengths" "That's all you think about" "We have a Iot to Iearn from these young composers." "Free spirits." "Are you a musician, too?" "Yes, I am." "The current's flowing in the fence" "The guards are at their posts" "Are you going home after?" "I don't know yet." "Just listen." "Do not sleep, while the rulers of the world are busy" "Do not trust them with the power they pretend to wield for you" "Make sure your hearts aren't empty for that's what they are counting on" "Don't serve, don't sing the songs that they expect of you" "Be stubborn, be sand not oil, in the engine of the world" "Is it for Stefan?" "No, just across the road." "SPATENBIER" "My man he don't love me" "Treats me oh so mean" "My man he don't love me" "Treats me oh so mean" "He's the meanest man that I've ever seen" "The question is, where does music stop and politics begin?" "I think our music should be made to last." "If a composer just thinks of now, that's one kind of music." "But if he thinks of eternity, or of death... you hear it." "I'd Iike to hear your work." "I wrote a cello piece once, but it's lost." "How did that happen?" "My trunk was stolen." "We're dealing with the case in the office." "I don't care about the trunk... only about the works I lost." "Was there a Iot?" "Yes, including the cello piece." "But I'm starting another one." "Where did you learn that?" "On the street." "Our last piece, recorded on gold." "It's rust and heat resistant, and it can't be demagnetised." "Impervious to gravity, chemicals." "ImperishabIe, Iike jewellery." "The sleeve's stainless steel." "You could even store it in a salt mine." "Excuse me, may I see it?" "But don't touch the surface." "It's fabulous!" "Pure gold." "What a marvellous idea." "Can I see it, too?" "But don't touch the surface." "If only we could make films in gold... actors could live forever." "Excuse me, can I see it, too?" "But don't touch the surface." "Can't we invite them all home?" "AII of them?" "They're nice." "I know the two composers very well." "They're good, aren't they?" ""The actor's art has no memorial." SchiIIer." "Thank God, or you'd be even vainer." "I'II screw you later, then you'II stop acting so phoney." "AII that money just to show off, it's absurd." "This must've cost a fortune." "Are your parents rich?" "Swine!" "It's just eIectropIated." "It costs less than putting on a concert." "I prefer to be transitory." "Can you say that?" "Are you jealous?" "Of whom?" "Just jealous." "I don't think so." "If you mean in love..." "I think jealousy is a sign of weakness." "And in art?" "Cocteau once said:" ""In art there are no winners."" "It happens anyway." "Maybe because it isn't art." "I Iike you." "Hermann, how long are we staying?" "What is this?" "Just asking." "I don't know yet." "I Iook forward to the winter." "I've never seen snow." "Is there a Iot of snow in Bavaria?" "It'II be my first winter here, too." "You are de bonne famille?" "Mes parents habitent à Strasbourg." "I can smell good breeding." "I hope you don't mind my saying that." "Were you at the concert?" "Of course, that's why I'm here." "It was a wonderful experience." "Thanks for the compliment." "Ladies and gentlemen!" "I would Iike to invite you all to my house." "It's a lovely big villa... with a piano." "Where is it?" "Nearby." "Are you coming?" "What instrument do you play?" "I'm in the conductors' class." "The master class?" "Yes." "Hermann, beware of beautiful women." "Is that another ChiIean proverb?" "No, but it's true." "Hermann, here you are." "Leave your coats here, please." "For you, my love." "What was that?" "Time can't turn back" "It's past, it's gone forever" "Forever." "As I travel on, through every danger" "For a heartbeat long" "I see a stranger" "He may be a foe" "He may be a friend" "He may take your side until the battle ends" "The eyes of strangers meet for a moment" "Our brows are dark" "Our Iids are heavy" "What was that?" "Just a face in the crowd" "It's past, it's gone forever" "They say you're a splendid cellist, too." "Do they?" "I'm delighted." "I'm so excited." "It's like getting stage fever." "Your friend, that Juan, he's so nice." "He said such sweet things to me." "He really knows how to treat women." "It's made me all dizzy." "olga, this is Renate Leinweber." "She wants to be an actress." "Maybe you can help her." "Do you Iike it here?" "Yes, I Iike it very much." "No, I mean the house?" "That, too." "The people who own these houses, they were all Nazis." "I know that." "I say, will you keep this place in my bed for me?" "Can't you pee later?" "Better than that noise out there." "No comparison." "As I always say:" ""Better concrete goulash for the mind than concrete poetry for the stomach."" "For good goulash you need the right paprika." "That's the secret." "Not hot paprika, only mild, that gives it the right aroma." "old Hungarian secret." "It's the same with women." "Do you cook for groups, too?" "Never, on principle." "small is beautiful." "Is the door locked?" "GouIash with mild paprika." "Who was the girl sitting beside me?" "She's a poet." "In that group called Traces." ""Traces Ltd." That might do for our film company." "Something a bit more civilised." "Just try it." "No, I'II have a cucumber." "Like alpha and Omega film?" "What have we so far?" "We have metropolis..." "Ecstasy, Far Out." "Far Out Co." "Ltd." "That's worse than Pig and whistle Co." "Ltd." "We can't have a company, it's too expensive." "Besides..." ""Company" sounds better." "An association, then." "With four more people we can be Associates, and then...." "We can only afford a syndicate..." "like for betting." "Far Out Syndicate." "Director:" "N.O. Chance." "Or Far and Wide Co." "And then our names:" "Rob, Reinhard, Stefan." "Names don't matter." "To us they do." "Rio Bravo Co." "But we won't be making Westerns." "Why not?" "Because we can't make Westerns in Germany." "We haven't got the right horses." "You've missed something good." "I think it's the start of a beautiful friendship." "Pinching my goulash, that takes the cake!" "Who's been cooking?" "alex!" "So, CIarissa, how long have you been playing the cello?" "I started at 1 1, that's quite late really." "Juan, will you juggle for us?" "Of course." "alex is right." "How about something Greek, Iike Dionysus?" "How about Texas film?" "Are we staying much longer?" "Maybe we can go soon." "I don't think I'm really suited to a profession." "As a lawyer?" "You know, if it's just helping farmers... who quarrel with their neighbours... or want to make their wills..." "I couId do that." "But with people like tonight, you have to be different." "Know what I mean?" "Maybe." "What a day." "Are you dreaming about CIarissa?" "I've told you, I'II never fail in love again." "well, I couId easily fall in love with Juan." "He's a really attractive man." "Do you mind if I say that?" "Do you think I'm made of stone?" "It needn't be love right away." "I'm covered in sweat." "You know, Hermann, usually... when I'm sweaty like this... there's a smell I don't even like myself." "But now I smell lovely." "It's a sign that I really like you." "That kind of thing doesn't lie." "BIimey, did you light my fire!" "Come back a minute." "I'm dead tired." "Won't you stay a little?" "You were so sweet." "You really lost your head, did you notice?" "I mean, that ought to make you think a bit." "I want to be alone now." "I won't stop you, then." "So long as you're not running away from yourself." "That happens, Hermann." "Be quiet now." "I am." "Be quiet, too, when you go." "I won't go to the door with you." "You understand, don't you?" "I'm so happy." "I don't want to lose the feeling." "You've never seen snow before?" "people always said it's completely fIavourIess." "But it isn't." "only in your imagination." "It tastes like freshly washed blouses." "Like your mother when travelling the mountains." "It's snowing." "It's snowing." "Three-dimensionaI, stereomorphic." "A delirium!" "I Iike that." "My grandfather came from Russia." "I can see him now, striding over snow-covered tundra." "A fur cap on his huge head... and my grandmother following him." "And in the distance... the village, with its onion dome." "Onion dome, they have them here, too, don't they?" "Listen, Juan, what did you mean when you said:" ""Beware of beautiful women"?" "Did you fuck the ugly one?" "You don't realise how that sounds." "Did you or didn't you?" "You did." "She loves you." "But I don't love her." "It was good." "I am sure it was good with her." "I don't like her smell." "In that case, I think she's afraid of you." "I know that smell very well." "It's a mixture of passion and fear." "How do you know?" "I grew up in a catholic country." "That's how I know." "But Renate isn't catholic." "But you are." "For Christ's sake!" "That was all over long ago." "What did you say?" ""only in your imagination."" "It sticks to us, that mixture of fear and passion." "And what's worse, we pass it on to others." "CIarissa is like you." "How do you know?" "I went home with her." "I met her mother." "Did you and she...." "No." "She only made me hot." "Like China's politics, you know?" "She gave up the North... in order to be able to defend the South." "So you didn't." "I think there is someone in the background." "A mysterious man." "You think so?" "I am beginning to fear the women in this country." "Can I practise?" "You have visitors, Herr Simon." "They're up in your room." "Go through this way." "Don't faint, Hermann." "We've just dropped in." "This is Marianne EIss." "Have you been here long?" "half an hour." "We arrived yesterday." "You two must know each other." "Isn't CIemens here?" "No, thank God!" "We'd rather not bump into him." "They practically grew up together, Marianne and clemens." "He's usually here at 6:00, he must have left early." "I hope he doesn't come back." "I can't remember exactly." "Weren't you in the Fifth Form?" "But I remember you." "And I saw you at your concert." "Right." "You were in the choir." "Marianne plays the piano, too, and violin." "Very well." "Our new star." "Hermann, we won't keep you in suspense." "You're an artist, you'II understand." "Marianne and I, you see... we're in love." "It shows." "It does?" "My God, KarIi, did you hear that?" "In Simmern, it's top secret." "Hermann, promise us you won't breathe a word." "I'II never go back to Hunsrück." "That's a shame." "We had such a lovely autumn, the colours were glorious." "Yes, it was a wonderful autumn." "We're going for a night on the town." "will you come with us?" "I'm pretty tired." "Come on!" "Look at me." "I'm still a match for you." "I've never seen this sort of a thing before." "Do they have men, too?" "I don't know." "I've never been here, either." "Marianne's her name?" "How did you do it?" "Music is the food of love." "You're a devil." "You always were." "I Iove her." "Want some more, darling?" "Why did you look at me like that?" "I was trying to imagine what you were thinking." "This is Sunny." "sylvia, more champagne." "Do you think it's bad, me and KarIi?" "Bad, why bad?" "He's much older." "Love must be bad, or it isn't love." "That's what I think." "Hermann, what's wrong with you?" "You're as white as a sheet." "I think I'm ill." "Have you been drinking?" "This is Hermann." "He lives here with me at home." "You understand?" "I understand." "What's wrong with him?" "I don't know." "I will go and look." "What a mess." "Are you sure you haven't been drinking?" "I'm just iII." "DeathIy iII." "I think he has fever." "Fever?" "You're feverish." "We'd better take your temperature." "Lie down." "Take your shoes off." "Come." "The thermometer." "ShouIdn't we call a doctor?" "Maybe he's just drunk." "I want to go home." "Hermann, are you delirious?" "39.4 CeIsius." "Is that high?" "We'd better do something." "Where were you tonight?" "Nowhere." "Were you out in the cold?" "I don't know." "Check this." "It's snowing." "You go down, take a right and take a left, then...." "No, Mother." "Your mother isn't here." "You're in Munich." "Are you ill?" "How did you get in?" "We knocked." "Didn't you hear?" "What's the trouble?" "TonsiIIitis." "Feverish." "Guess what?" "We just missed CIemens, my heart's still pounding." "Is it catching?" "We're going to Garmisch." "I've booked a good hotel." "Marianne wants to see the world a bit." "And we'II be safer there." "It'II come out somehow." "Don't say that, Hermann." "I dream about it." "I dreamed that KarIi murdered somebody... and I tried to hide him... but they found us." "I was shaking like this when I woke up." "Love is murder." "You're depressed." "Can't we help you?" "please let us." "provincial musicians help each other." "That's all they're good for." "Now you're going too far." "If you mean me, okay, maybe you're right." "But don't talk like that about Marianne, or yourself." "Last night, I wanted to run home to Dr. Dörr... who treated me when I was a kid, for measles and whooping cough." "God, I feel awful." "There are lots better doctors here than in Hunsrück, Hermann." "What's this stuff you're taking?" "I don't know." "clemens gave it to me." "Have you been overdoing it?" "That cellar is damp." "No, it's dry." "should we stay a few more days?" "And mother you?" "And then we'II all go back to Hunsrück together... and I'II give piano lessons forever, amen!" "No, you push off to Garmisch." "Haven't you a girlfriend?" "Lots." "You have time... but we haven't." "We'II come back." "I'II write to you." "When they left, the thermometer still said 38.4." "I couId breathe again, though my throat still burned." "When I was 14, I got tonsillitis every few weeks." "Whenever I wrote a poem... on a piece of music, or when I fell in love." "A year later my heart was affected, and I nearly died." "Now I knew what it was like to be ill in a strange city." "You're composing?" "Yes." "It's going to be really modern." "I Iike modern things, so long as they're not too modern." "I've just seen the chair." "It was like a triangle, out of plexiglas... and the back was a lorry spring, chrome-pIated." "That was a bit too modern for me." "It was in the MaximiIianstrasse." "This is going to be for cello and Sprechgesang." "You know, I go to a drama school for speech lessons... because in my profession I have to speak proper German." "Why?" "You mean composers have to?" "Not exactly, but I want to." "I get these exercises there." "Step by step the strong man strives to master the monster." "standstill." "The stronger... stabbed the stabIe-boy in the stallion's stall." "The city is full of people driving themselves crazy with these exercises." "They come here from the country, to Iearn to talk." "It's a martyr's chorus." "I want people to hear it." "I came up to show you something." "I've brought it with me." "That is my mother." "I told you about this picture." "How that young painter painted it, right here is this house." "oil on board." "Good, isn't it?" "You won't believe this... but it really looks like my mother." "But they called it degenerate art in those days." "She was so young." "You forget that so fast." "And she's been dead so long... since the bombing in 1944." "So young." "It's a work of art, isn't it?" "I mean, the painter couldn't know what we know today." "But somehow he caught an idea of it in her eyes." "That's what artists do... they take things really seriously." "When I Iook at this picture..." "I even remember the weather that day." "It was just before the föhn wind... when you could smell the ozone out in the yard." "You know, ozone, it smells like sun lamps." "You know what I mean?" "I'm glad you told me." "I'd Iike you to come and hear my piece performed... when it's done." "That could be awhile." "I know who'II play the cello part." "A very beautiful woman." "Get well first." "Excuse me, do you know Adorno's theory of modern music?" "The connection of the social theory to the musical scale?" "Sure I've heard of it." "Dissonant, in tweIve-tone music." "I'm a musician, too." "Yeah, I'm a drummer." "I'm not a musician myself, I've no ear... but philosophically speaking, Orff...." "Just a moment." "Orff is a positivist, not the fabulist he seems." "You know, the greatest mysteries don't run away." "Mysteries arise, just where we think we know everything." "absolutely, but I've got to go now." "Remember that, it's dialectic." "applied dialectic." "Hermann, can you swallow again?" "I think I'II live." "Better eat then." "I am eating." "Are you taking a break?" "Yeah, I just saw GiseIa." "Aren't you playing tonight?" "Juan's sitting in for me." "May I join you, lovely lady?" "As my name means "noble"..." "I drink only the noblest wines, from the noblest glasses." "Here's to music... the most magical of the arts." "You know, I'm an alcoholic, but I can control it." "As a lapsed catholic, I've got enough guilt." ""The aim of force is freedom."" "That's too puritanical for me, too Protestant." "Force is the enemy of freedom." "Do you know the drunkard's prayer?" "Liver us not into cirrhosis... but delirium us from tremens." "May I join you?" "We are all made in God's image." "You've been ill?" "I'm much better now." "please carry on." "Mind if I stay here?" "What about your friends?" "I haven't seen you for ages." "And I haven't seen you." "It was great at that lady's villa." "Why did you leave so early?" "I can't remember exactly." "Have you got anyone to take care of you?" "I mean, medically." "To help me be ill?" "The fever's nearly gone." "Your forehead is still warm." "They say men are the stronger sex." "That's not been my experience." "I think we're the sensitive ones, and the endangered species." "More baby boys die than baby girls, too." "I don't know very much about men." "It may look as if I do, but how can I really?" "I only ever see how they show off to me." "There are three kinds of men." "The weak ones, who run away from strong women." "The middling ones, who want them, but plan a retreat in advance." "And the strong ones... who take what they want, and then move on." "There are three kinds of women, too." "When you practise eight hours a day, you feel awfully alone." "Don't you?" "What happened with Juan?" "Answer me." "With him I felt even more alone." "Why?" "He treated me as if I were ill." "You hate men." "I think they hate me." "The more they tell me I'm beautiful... the more they hate me." "Juan, too." "I think you hurt his pride." "Yes, he's South American." "I forgot that." "I'm sorry I hurt him." "And me?" "I Iike you." "But we're sceptical." "What shall we do?" "I want you to play my cello piece." "You're lying." "truly." "If we pretend this is about music, we're both lying." "You're like a hedgehog, full of spines." "And you, you're like a super hedgehog." "Our spines are inward." "I've never said "I Iove you" to anyone." "You'd rather have cut out your tongue." "What is it?" "I had run away." "Never say "I Iove you" to another woman." "Was a secret vow really binding?" "CIarissa was like me." "She'd run away from Juan." "Juan had acted with CIarissa as she had acted with me." "Had CIarissa known that I would run away?" "Had Juan known that she would?" "I envied Juan." "He'd travelled half the world... and compare us to all of it." "He had the widest view and he still believed in love." "Yet, he was alone." "And she had kissed me, yet I had to run away." "Hermann, I've got engaged." "Surprised?" "No." "Isn't that package for me?" "It came like that, all torn open." "The cake was sticking out." "From my mother." "This is real Hunsrück redcurrant cake." "We've met before, don't you remember?" "I'm Gabi." "You know, I work for Frau Moretti." "Of course." "And where did you meet?" "Here, while I was waiting." "I was waiting for you, see, and clemens came in and helped me." "He helped you wait?" "Yes." "I came to tell you your trunk's been found." "Frau Moretti's got it back." "I came to tell you." "Is anything missing?" "Check please." "You comforted me, young man." "Did you know that?" "That was hard time for me, because love dying." "TaII stalks rise on either side like walls" "fencing in our narrow ways" "That's mine." "A beautiful song." "You were unhappy then?" "And my 50 marks?" "I want my money back, too." "It's up there, in an envelope." "Artists need money, too, I know." "But all the evil in the world comes from money." "Know what I say, you are a genius." "Must believe it." "Never lose ideas, never." "Must fight, and dream." "I know the world." "I have to go now." "Is the film over?" "How long was it, Ansgar?" "18 minutes, 10 seconds." "I had to fetch my trunk." "How was it?" "Modern." "You've no idea!" "But uncle Ansgar...." "Don't talk to me like that!" "I just didn't like it, that's all." "We've got to cut those 10 seconds." "Shut up." "First, we have to submit it and" "No arguments tonight." "We're celebrating." "She can't talk." "TonsiIIitis." "Forgive me, I'm sorry." "How was the film?" "Very German." "French." "How nice to see you!" "You're obviously well." "Have you got your trunk back?" "Yes, it's already at home." "Remember Gabi, from Goethestrasse?" "Are you staying here for Christmas?" "I don't bother with Christmas." "Are you coming to FoxhoIes?" "Maybe." "Pity." "I couId have invited you home for the holidays." "To Neu-UIm?" "Sure." "My parents are awfully nice, and they like visitors." "I must work." "What would you say if I became an actor?" "Why an actor?" "I want a response, I need to be needed." "Or I'II start a marimba band." "Or maybe I'II join the circus." "It's dangerous here in the cold." "You know him, too, it's Herr EdeI." "The man is dead." "They say that freezing is an easy, painless death." "Liver us not into cirrhosis... but delirium us from tremens." "Let's be friends." "We are friends." "THE SECOND HEIMAT" "CHRONICLE OF A GENERATION IN 13 FILMS" "3" " jealousy and Pride" " EveIyne 1961" "In july, 1961, my father died." "He was only 42 years old." "The night before his funeral, my Iife changed completely." "I Ioved my father very much." "He always confided in me... even when I was a little girl." "And yet he never told me that I was not the child... of the woman I'd always thought was my mother." "suddenly, my brothers were no Ionger my brothers... as I'd believed since I was a child." "Was he afraid I'd be too weak to bear the truth?" "But I knew him so well..." "I'd often been stronger than he." "Jürgen, where is EveIyne?" "I'II go look for her." "No, you stay here." "I'II go." "well, Hartmut...." "Edith, if you ever need anything..." "I'd love to hear from you anyway." "And not just about family matters..." "I'II give you our number, it's ex-directory." "GeroId, have we got any of those...." "We have indeed, somewhere...." "Over in IngoIstadt, where I used to work... it's all gravel, not Iike this." "gravel all the way down, however deep you dig." "It's better than this heavy stuff, I'II tell you." "This here's slit from the Danube... washed up by the River Lech, millions of years ago." "Takes about 15 years to rot away in this... or in patches over there... 25 years or more." "In a bog it takes forever." "Do you want that wreath in the middle?" "Coming back from the cemetery, everything seemed so strange... my house, my family, Neuburg." "As though I'd been carried off to a foreign country." "AII the things I'd taken for granted all my Iife... turned into lies and accidents." "How many of these people were really relatives of mine?" "How many of these hypocrites... had known all the time and never told me?" "There's a gorgeous little castle not far from here." "We'II go there later, if you Iike." "I shan't come in." "As you Iike." "Don't be long." "As the bIack-cIad mourners entered the house I'd grown up in..." "I took my leave." "Neuburg was no Ionger my home." "Music seems to run in the family." "No, my brother was an exception." "Of course, we all had lessons... but I never got beyond the moonlight Sonata." "still that was enough in a good middIe-cIass family." "Arno was the youngest of us." "And the first to go." "At only 42." "I'm 44 myself, and life's just beginning." "Am I right?" "Yes, you're right." "The music shop had belonged to my stepmother's family... who were all completely unmusicaI." "Perhaps my father had married into it... because he could play any instrument... and loved music." "I knew so little." "Why was I born in Munich... in the middle of the war?" "And how had I got here?" "Who was my mother?" "She'd been killed in 1944... in an air-raid on Munich." "That is what I had learned the night before." "There were no pictures, no documents... nothing to go on at all." "I'm certain my father didn't mean to take the truth to his grave." "One day, he'd have told me everything." "He was often so sad." "That came back to me now." "I'm going to find out about my mother." "AII our lives, we've been deceived." "well, isn't it true?" "Don't pity me." "We had a happy childhood." "I shan't ever forget that." "But we're only just beginning to understand why." "You'II stay in Neuburg." "You belong here... where your mother was born... and on the land that belonged to your grandparents." "I have no part in it." "I shall retrace Father's steps." "In fact, I've wanted to... ever since he started giving me piano lessons... and telling me about Munich." "The more my haIf-brother Jürgen pleaded with me... and warned me... the more of a stranger I felt." "And the more certain I was I would never return to Neuburg." "I'm going to find my real mother." "I swear it." "I'd been in Munich almost a year." "My life was a round of concerts, plays and artistic experiments." "I ran from lectures to friends, from discussions to rehearsals." "It was as if I had lived here all my Iife." "I knew professors, composers, young writers... actors and filmmakers." "Even the stuck-up older students..." "like VoIker and Jean-Marie had accepted me..." "I wrote a new piece nearly every day." "Over there on the right, see... that's the FeIdherrnhaIIe." "There were some nasty goings-on there." "Over there, the Annost." "And back there's the Hofgarten." "On the right, that's the House of Art." "They get artists from all over the world there." "Sure, writers and painters... and poets and film people, all the big names, huh?" "You an artist yourself, maybe?" "I want to be a singer." "No!" "A singer, eh?" "On your right, that's the national Library... and there's the Ludwigskirche." "Can you guess how many streets there are in Munich?" "bloody learner!" "My father grew up in Munich." "He was the son of a famous publisher who owned a villa in Schwabing." "My aunt EIisabeth CerphaI lived there now." "I felt I had... a granddaughter's right to stay there... until I found a place of my own." "hello." "hello." "Is my aunt not in?" "FräuIein CerphaI?" "Yes." "The door's locked." "Just a sec, I'II be back." "Right." "Is that your luggage?" "The house was strangely familiar to me... as if I'd seen it before, or dreamt it." "That smell, too... of damp cellars, of old wood, of cinnamon." "It reminded me of something I had forgotten." "If you're looking for FräuIein CerphaI, she won't be back till tonight." "FräuIein CerphaI is my aunt." "Do you live here?" "Stefan does." "We're the lodgers... or rather, he is." "Have you seen Frau Ries?" "No, who's that?" "The housekeeper." "She lives downstairs." "A visitor for FräuIein CerphaI." "I'd better get back." "I'd Iike to stay here for the time being." "My aunt's out, I think." "Don't tell me you're EveIyne, from Neuburg?" "Oh, yes." "You're just like I always imagined." "A will of your own, I think." "But things have changed a Iot around here... with all these young people." "I never know who's coming in and out anymore." "They come through the garden, the garage, the scullery." "At night, it's like a railway station in here." "please come in." "But your aunt likes it that way." "It reminds her of what it was like when she was a young girl." "I remember it very well myself... all those literary gentlemen who came to see us." "Those were the days." "Around 1927, 1928." "When Brecht came and Herr Feuchtwanger... now there was a gentleman." "I'm glad I can get away from it all down here... and that your grandfather doesn't know." "I often visit him in the nursing home." "Thank you, Frau Ries." "He's getting on now, nearly 82." "What shall we do with you?" "It all seems so familiar." "Have I ever been here before?" "Yes, you were." "Just once, with your father." "But you were only a tiny wee thing... maybe two or three." "Let's see." "It must have been... in the autumn of '46." "Then I was four." "I remember that cupboard, too." "And you had a Iong braid, didn't you?" "That's right." "I used to put it up." "I'd stand at that mirror there... and do my hair." "The things children notice." "I was very sorry... that your family fell out so." "I was very fond of your father...our Arno." "He was the youngest... everybody's favourite." "And I'm still here...." "Thank heaven." "Can I wait here?" "ShouIdn't I take you up to the drawing room?" "It's much nicer than down here." "I'd rather stay here." "That's Herr Gattinger." "Have some, if you Iike." "Thank you." "The new centre of our lives... was FoxhoIes, an old villa in Schwabing." "It belonged to FräuIein CerphaI, a middIe-aged lady... who collected young artists as other people collected stamps." "She lived in the upper storey with Herr Gattinger... a suntanned man in a loden suit." "You know that's army equipment you have there?" "Herr Gattinger took care of FräuIein CerphaI's finances." "We reckoned he was an old Nazi gone underground... and did our best to ignore him." "I remember these projectors from the navy." "They used to have these units, too, for the frontline cinemas." "Where did you dig up this museum piece?" "From the American Institute." "They were stuck up in the attic." "Next to an ancient editing table... and masses of other stuff." "probably confiscated... in 1945." "I know someone here in Munich... who started up a pretty profitable film company... with army equipment like this." "Cameras, doIIies, lights... stuff that was hidden away there after the war." "In the film business, are you?" "I used to be a civil servant." "You learn a bit of everything there." "And what are you now?" "A student." "FoxhoIes replaced our local and the seminars... or the studios and drawing rooms of the old times." "It was a privilege to belong to the foxholes circle... and FräuIein CerphaI... was our patron, mother substitute, and guardian angel... although she refused to accept any of those titles." "It's great." "Want something to drink?" "No." "Tea?" "No." "hello, Rob." "Hi, HeIga." "eleven minutes, 301 metres." "I'II go make some tea." "For me, too, please." "You have a lovely voice, FräuIein EveIyne." "So, tell me." "What are your plans?" "I want to apply to the Conservatory, to study singing." "I remember that stove there, too... and that picture." "Frau Ries had known my father when he was a baby." "She retained all the feelings of the pre-war years." "She was the villa's memory." "Excuse me." "Preparations in full swing, I see." "There it is." "The Last of the Just." "That's my book." "Don't read it." "It'II make you very sad." "It's great literature, but very sad." "I spent the saddest holiday of my Iife with that book." "Once you've begun, you can't stop reading about... that dark Jewish destiny." "Do you believe... the Jews are the chosen people?" "You don't look Jewish." "What do Jews look like?" "You look more Teutonic to me." "Were you in the SS?" "I was blonde enough." "But what about you?" "From the north, I bet." "Let me guess." "OIdenburg?" "celle?" "Wrong." "Who's he?" "He comes with the house." "He looks after the finances." "He is after the finances." "He's got enough time for it, anyway." "Stefan, Reinhard and Rob had made a short film... about the ruins left by the war... especially the Munich Opera, which had been completely destroyed." "No film distributor would take it... and the film Board refused to certify it." "So the premiere was to be that night, at FoxhoIes." "The filmmakers hoped at Ieast to impress their own friends." "Anyone for tea and cake?" ""...were like two cherries..." ""in the pallor of his skin." ""One bite, she thought..." ""and the pale red cherry blood."" "Quit faking." "Ansgar, tea, please." "I don't suppose you've ever heard of Schwarz-Bart?" "HeIga, don't you hear the lie?" "You want to be an artist and you let this creep shit on you?" "Interesting." "tell me, are you an actor?" "Ansgar is a medic." "You don't belong here." "Finish it, by all means." "You remind me of my old man." "He's a real Teuton, too, and preaches at you day and night." "Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm an atheist." "You shouldn't touch that book." "There's blood on your hands." "Come on, Wasti." "What's got into you?" "He gave you no cause." "I'm a racist." "When I see someone like him of a generation so Iacquered..." "and slimy." "Steady on." "The economic miracle in person." "You know what the economic miracle is?" "The middle classes seizing power, minus HitIer." "You don't know anything about me." "olga?" "What's the matter?" "Can we help you?" "Say something." "Is it my fault?" "I don't know what it is." "I've been like this for days." "You know?" "It's like your father and mother, your whole family just died." "It started in the garden." "The two of you... you were like behind glass... or underwater." "I don't believe a word of it." "It's all in your mind." "In your great, gifted actress' mind." "You act, too, Ansgar." "You act the cynic." "I don't fool myself." "Forget it." "Don't worry about me." "What are you doing here anyway?" "Trying to impress people with your hysterics." "Did you come here because of me or were you looking for a new friend?" "Ever since we've met, you've humiliated me." "Ever since we met, you liked it." "You!" "Dad's movies are dead" "We'II give them out tonight." "A packet to everyone, and go forth and multiply." "It's voodoo." "Dad's movies are still alive and kicking... but we'II kill them by saying they're dead." "Character assassination." "legally speaking." "Atrocity stories." "Pack them up." "You're a typical teacher's daughter." "Anyone over 40 impresses you." "It wouldn't have hurt you to listen." "Herr Gattinger has read more books than you've ever seen." "Books...." "Stefan was FräuIein CerphaI's pet." "He lived in the villa... which made him the centre of our circle of friends." "He was a law student, and came from a rich family." "We'd go and see him in the middle of the night... and stay talking, smoking and drinking... and making music until dawn." "You're about to see an early work of the late avant-garde." "Certificate: "Banned."" "well, it can happen to anyone." "The Nazis had a prize for "Patriotic film of the year."" "That was better than "Best film of the year."" "well, Iet's see what we're in for." "Come in, alex." "Stefan." "Can you introduce me?" "well, who've you brought?" "How do you do?" "We haven't met." "The performance is in here." "HeIga!" "My little vixen." "What animal are you, alex?" "Not a rodent, anyway." "It's all right, Frau Ries." "I asked FräuIein CerphaI." "We'II fix up a corner of the library for you." "If this gets too much for you, just come back down to me." "Don't worry, Frau Ries." "They won't eat me." "I don't know." "They eat everything." "Fine, Ansgar." "To the right." "Don't shake, it'II fall down!" "Do you hear me?" "Not so loud!" "Friends, lads and lasses, screen horns!" "You know what a "screen horn" is?" ""Screen," as in movie..." ""horn," as in greenhorn." "I coined the word myself." ""Dad's movies are dead," long live Iads' movies!" "We can say we were there." "My gift is for the historical perspective." "It comes from always being a stranger." "In Baden-Baden, I was a BerIiner... in Munich, I'm a Russian, in Moscow, I'm a German." "Here, I'm the Pope... representing Christ among the heathen." "Na zdorov'e!" "You don't believe me?" "Of course we do." "well, fancy seeing you here." "hello, CIarissa." "I couldn't come any earlier." "We had a date." "What, here?" "Five weeks ago." "Five weeks, four days, and two-and-a-haIf hours." "We waited for you." "You two waited for me, you don't expect me to believe that." "You must believe it." "And you missed me." "You always run away." "You think I do?" "Wasn't he going to write a cello concerto for me?" "So he said." "And so I have." "Can we meet tomorrow?" "When?" "At 5:00, at the SendIinger Tor." "5:00, at the SendIinger Tor." "And you'II really be there?" "You know you can rely on me." "Right, then." "I balance like happiness upon a ball.:" "the longer to stand, the more likely to fall." "I'm practicing for a competition." "Maybe I couId play your piece." "We're starting." "It's wonderful, Stefan, I'm so looking forward to it." "We've never had a film premiere here before." "You'II tell me when it starts?" "Now, I hope." "And your father was Aquarius." "No, Libra." "And I think you're a Scorpio." "No, Leo." "They get their own way, too." "You just turn up here, without a word?" "I didn't even know you were in Munich." "You should have let me know." "Is this your luggage?" "Don't be cross with her." "I let her in." "Aunt, I'd Iike to stay for a while." "please don't ask me why." "But there's no room here, child." "My Herr Gattinger's upstairs, the students are downstairs... and you can't live in the library." "That couch is genuine Rococo." "I'II look after her." "Don't worry, FräuIein CerphaI." "Can I lock that door?" "hardly, it's a swing door." "I won't be bullied like this!" "EveIyne, you've no manners at all." "I'm staying." "We'II see about that." "How lovely to have the house full of guests again." "Where do I sit?" "Here." "please don't mind me." "Pretend I'm not here." "Did you know that in this very room Brecht and Feuchtwanger met?" "In 1927, I was 16." "The leaves were turning yellow." "It was September, or October." "My father didn't think much of writers, but they came anyway." "Brecht sat there, where that young woman is... and here, where the bed is, sat Feuchtwanger." "Can you imagine it?" "Who knows, FräuIein CerphaI, maybe tonight will be just as historic." "I hope so." "Why else would I open my house to you?" "And how many Nazis met here?" "Am I where HimmIer sat, or Hess?" "please don't joke about that." "A Iiqueur?" "We're thankful it's over, and left us unscathed." "We'II be back soon." "That's Herr Gattinger." "Right, Iet's begin." "As you know... this is the new version, which was rejected by the film Board." "I'd just like to say one more thing." "You mustn't expect too much." "This is a kind of anti-premiere... which we've had to hold in an anti-cinema." "In a way, our film is also an anti-fiIm." "Let's hope we're not an anti-audience, and laugh in the wrong places." "I'm afraid there's not much to laugh at." "Youth is always serious." "An open wound." "I was the same." "ideals stick in the throat and stifle laughter." "Is it starting?" "Sit down, alex." "Rob, Iet's go." "The battle for Germany... also by wilhelm CerphaI." "Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov..." "Life of Beethoven, 1901 ." "Your grandfather used to love to sit in that chair... and read, when things got too noisy." "Are all these his books?" "Nothing's been added for 20 years." "Most are really old, from your great-grandfather." "Was he really as harsh as my father said?" "FräuIein EveIyne..." "I wouldn't like to criticise." "Things were very different in those days." "Imagine Munich then." "A great and ancient city." "Everything proper and in its place." "In the next century, the Opera House became worId-famous." "Many of the works of Wagner and Strauss were premiered here." "Of course they tested my cooking first." "I had to do a Chateaubriand, a waldorf salad... and a neapolitan ice-cream." "naturally, there were no guests that day." "Madam was just expecting..." "little Arno, your father." "How time passes, FräuIein EveIyne." "I'm getting very fond of you." "FräuIein CerphaI will soon calm down." "She's got too much to do to give you any trouble." "Who was my mother, Frau Ries?" "Did you know her?" "Your father never said anything to you?" "I must know who my mother was." "Can you understand that?" "Of course." "I'd be just the same." "It's important, when you're young." "How much do you know?" "Very little." "We weren't allowed to talk about it." "In 1943, the Opera House was hit by incendiary bombs... and completely gutted." "Ever since, the mighty ruin... has towered alone above the rebuilt city." "Your father was the heir to the firm." "Did you know that?" "In 1941 was the Russian campaign." "Your father had just turned 22." "He was a romantic young man." "If he'd been killed, they'd all have said:" ""well, a dreamer like that."" "That's how he was." "And that's how he was with LieseIotte." "Romantic and resolute." "LieseIotte?" "My mother was called LieseIotte?" "Yes, I know that for certain... though I never met her." "Why were they all so against her?" "She was poor." "I think that was all." "Of course, if they had known... that a year later it wouId all lie in ruins... they might have seen things differently." "But the heir to a publisher had to marry a girl from a good family." "That's how it was then, FräuIein EveIyne." "But my father persisted?" "He had to go back to the front." "And every time he put in for leave... his father made sure... that he didn't get it." "She was his great love." "He would have married her if they'd let him home." "And I was on the way, right?" "And when you were born, they all talked about... whether they should adopt you... or find you a home... or pay off your mother." "Those were Iunchtime discussions... until the air-raids started." "It was terrible." "Every day you heard of more people who'd been killed." "Over 6,000 people." "So, when your mother was killed, too, no one was very surprised." "You see...." "Was he such a Nazi, my grandfather?" "No, certainly not." "He was too much of a gentleman." "He was really respected, even by those HitIer people." "They respected people?" "They had to." "They'd never have gotten anywhere without the influential families." "And we were an influential family, FräuIein EveIyne." "You slept through it all again, huh?" "I heard all those people breathing." "Did you?" "My head's full of images... crazy sounds and images." "You've been taking that stuff again." "I saw it as soon as you arrived." "I couldn't have stood it otherwise." "Just don't take too much." "It's goddamn dangerous." "I know, I'm a medic." "You'II look after me, promise?" "I bloody well won't." ""We learned from the beauty of ruins." That's from a poem by Pasternak." "alex translated it for us." "For a beer." "But it expresses our feelings exactly." "There he is, it was marvellous." "I enjoyed it immensely." "Our other lovely big villa was destroyed, too." "But the garden wasn't so pretty, or the ruin, either." "What's this ancient thing?" "It's an old army projector." "What a lovely moon." "When children from rich families... enter the arts, they have the opportunity, the duty...." "I've been neglecting you, Herr Simon." "Am I interrupting?" "Never, elisabeth." "This gentleman seems to think... we all have rich parents, and I wondered why." "It was just an impression." "I mean no offence." "But it's no disgrace, surely?" "Your attitude reminds me of my teacher, and of...." "Don't worry, elisabeth, we're not quarrelling." "That complacency and arrogance professional people have." "people who can have whatever they want..." "like to have opinions on art, on what is art, and what isn't." "They make up their minds in two seconds flat." "Interesting, do go on." "They want harmony, beauty, clarity." "That's control, but also fear." "Fear of being shaken out of their complacency." "So, New Music is an attack on the old social order." "Nothing less." "Interesting." "Are there books on the subject?" "Books?" "That's not in books." "It's in yourself." "Or it isn't." "What are you writing?" "Words." "Words that occur to me." "Words that occur to you?" "Where do they occur from?" "I don't know." "I listen." "Have you ever been somewhere, just listening?" "And suddenly you hear a word." "The word "cat" maybe." "And very soon you hear it again, in a completely different context." "Funny, isn't it?" "And you write that down?" "Cat...." "I think someone just said "cat"!" "Nobody sees, but the word Ieaps out." "There's a Word-Cat, leaping round here." "It's like music." "Why the Iong faces?" "There were no catcaIIs...." "A cat...." "people saying "cat."" "Juan, that was a lovely song." "Spanish or South American?" "It was South American, sung in Spanish." "What was it about?" "Love, as always." "Cat seeks tom?" "No, woman leaves man." "Crap, caterwauIing...." "Bird." "Cat-bird." "He'II catch it." "Someone saying, "catch it."" "Cat shit." "It's tipping!" "Is this private?" "Yes, it is." "I see." "I'II go then." "Come on." "Stay." "What did you say?" "Never mind." "What's wrong with you two?" "Nothing, I didn't want to butt in." "But you did." "You're both idiots." "That's no way to impress women." "But practising Spanish songs all night is, huh?" "well, it worked." "jealous?" "You must be kidding." "The words." "Let's go in." "I've got an idea." "olga, where are you?" "I can hear you breathing." "That's not me." "Someone's sleeping here." "feel this." "Hard enough for you?" "Let's go, I'm scared." "I Iike it when you're scared." "It was all over your head, huh?" "I was so tired." "But you're waking up." "Ansgar, I'm really scared in here." "No need to be scared of me." "What a voice!" "You're the niece, right?" "Turn on the light." "You'd see I'm short and ugly." "I'm ugly, too." "This is our big chance, then." "I'II say what I Iook like, and you'II say what you look like." "You have an amazing voice." "It's just like on the phone." "I hear you and picture you." "No pictures, please, no pictures." "We'II only be disappointed." "I just want to hear you." "I was dreaming." "What about?" "I was little, and sitting under a sink that was about to fall on me." "It was full of sawdust, heaps of sawdust... that had come out of my favourite doll." "Far more sawdust than any doll could hold." "And lots of people were looking for me... but I didn't speak to them." "What do you think it means?" "Maybe it was the noise next door." "Where are you from?" "If only I knew." "My family's a mystery to me." "And you?" "My family?" "I'm trying to forget them." "Do you love that girl you were with just now?" "I hate her." "I use her body, but I hate her." "I Iike your voice." "I believe everything you say." "I lie sometimes." "I'm used to lies." "tell me more." "I want to listen to you." "The truth and nothing but the truth?" "I want to get in there with you." "Do, then." "But then I won't say anything." "Not a word?" "I mean it." "suddenly I have the feeling we've got all the time in the world." "That's lovely." "I'm looking for something." "What?" "What?" "Thank God, there it is." "My earring, excuse me." "Dad's movies are dead." "Who's dead?" "Is anything wrong, child?" "Go forth and multiply." "Lissi, your shoe!" "See, Renate's doing a balancing act" "Be careful, dear." "Juan!" "OIé, oIé, Dad's movies are dead!" "Be quiet, boys!" "This is good." "It's the only way to perform the poems." "Pretend I'm not here." "A cathouse, a word house" "A house word, a house-cat" "A word, a house" "A cat, a bird" "AII saying" "You can really sing." "This is EveIyne." "hello." "May I listen?" "It's not worth it." "Maybe you could sing it." "Here's the text." "One says cat" "Two say cat" "One says that cat" "One says catch that" "One says the cat shat" "Two say words" "Words say birds" "One says cat-shit" "Two say catch it" "Birds turding words, cats hurting birds" "Birds saying cat words" "Word cats saying bird words words saying catbirds" "A cat word, a birdhouse, a house word" "A word cat, a house-cat" "A word, a cat, a house" "A bird, all saying" "A blind man teaches deaf men to feel" "The mind has seven senses" "In darkness, four disappear" "EveIyne, you're an artist." "You sing superbly." "Herr Simon, this is our new star." "You must have the best teachers." "But won't you put some clothes on?" "Hermann, play the Rain Songs." "Remember?" "The Rain Songs...." "They're for guitar, really." "FräuIein CerphaI, do you have a guitar anywhere?" "GeroId, do we have a guitar?" "Ansgar, you're free." "What are you on about?" "Of course, I'm free." "You think you can free me?" "You must be nuts." "I'm just a shadow." "I don't exist anymore." "Stuff the dramatics." "You just want to get laid regularly, that's all." "Why are you so mean to me?" "Liar." "I Iove you." "Lies." "Right, olga, my brazilian marmoset?" "For days the rain had drowned the rose" "Extinguishing among the thorns" "The embers of our love" "Strands of rain" "As thin as blood" "Seep downwards" "Through the flower" "Threads of water" "Reach the root" "Tightening the net of hours" "Checkmate." "unbelievable." ""My rocking chair falls backwards" ""And with it, the sky and roofs" ""Roofs red" ""And getting drunk on sour wine" ""My feet above me, and the tiny files" ""Dancing in swaIIow-dives above the sea" ""The falling chair pulls down the birch twigs" ""And blue" ""And longing" ""Hands, love, death" ""And mirrors mirror my gaze" ""Oh, fall, Oh, falling" ""No" ""Oh, end" ""End, end not" ""Now it's I" ""And again" ""And ever I"" "Don't be sad, Stefan." "In such a night as this... you have to fight for your love." "Promise me something, Hermann?" "What?" "No, forget it." "AII right, I promise." "Such a beautiful night." "Whither away, Juan?" "I'm looking for" "The secret of wisdom?" "No, the key to happiness." "Come and sit here." "And tell him he has to fight for his love." "But surely he knows that?" "Yes, but he doesn't believe it." "Excuse me, Herr Simon... one must fight for one's happiness... in such a night as this." "Now, dear, do you have any...." "GeroId, do we have any cigarettes?" "May I?" "Dear CIarissa, we must stop... this endless hesitating, hiding, running away." "I have to tell you, even if I lose you forever..." "I Iove you." "Ever since I Iooked into your unfathomable eyes...." "A smile." "A look, and I was wounded." "I feel so far away from you, empty and dead." "CIarissa, I'm always looking for you... and yet I'm always running away." "I think I am going mad." "LICHTBLAU please ring 3 x" "bloody hell!" "Where's the switch?" "Someone's coming." "I must go." "What are you doing here?" "Do you live here?" "Not exactly." "Then you'd better come with me." "Come along." "Dear Hermann... damn your jealousy and my false pride." "Why can't you tell that it's you, I mean... and only you, with all my...." "No, what am I saying?" "I keep returning to my fear." "I'II shout it out... even if it leaves me completely at your mercy." "I must tell you..." "I am hurrying now, to catch the post..." "I'II have to run as fast as I can." "I Iove you" "And who is this proud soldier?" "An officer?" "That's my older brother, Peter." "A first-Iieutenant, wasn't he?" "He was one of the very few to be killed in France." "1940." "It was a tragic accident." "At a small lake in alsace." "A stray French grenade exploded right outside his tent." "We couldn't believe it." "EveIyne's asleep." "Our family is very FrancophiIe, you know." "Before the war, my brother had many good friends in France." "They call France our traditional enemy." "But that's all nonsense, of course, propaganda." "We always loved the French." "They talk of Franco-German friendship today...." "But then it really existed." "hitler was...." "He was always for the grand solution." "He was a European." "Did you know that?" "It's true." "Tragic, that your brother died there." "Were you a national socialist?" "Is that the word?" "I mean, were you a Nazi?" "No, we weren't in the Party." "My father had a big publishing house, as you know." "So of course a Iot of people came to the house... including some prominent Nazis." "We had to keep the business going somehow." "I expect you learned all sorts of things about Germany at school." "But you must get to know us firsthand." "would you say Herr Gattinger was a wicked Nazi?" "Excuse me." "Are you a relative?" "No, I'm part of the inventory, so to speak." "No, Herr Gattinger looks after my finances." "Quite right, elisabeth." "I understand." "Is that you?" "Pretty imperial?" "We were a very conservative household." "My father remains so to this day." "We children moved with the times after 1933." "But not he." "And these, are they orthodox Jews?" "That's uncle GoIdbaum, my father's partner... until 1935." "We got him out just in time." "His daughter still lives in Haifa." "Did he come back after the war?" "No, he died just recently, in israel." "I often thought of him during the bad years." "I often think of him now, very often." "We have a Iot to thank him for." "This house belonged to him once." "You never told me that, elisabeth." "It's the first time you've heard it?" "The first time." "We have a Iot to thank him for." "My grandmother was Jewish, too." "From Russia." "You're a KaImuck?" "No, you're a gypsy." "No, just a Don Juan." "Come on." "Let's have another little one." ""It was the nightingale, and not the lark" ""that pierc'd the fearful hollow of thine ear" ""nightly she sings on yon pomegranate tree" ""believe me, love, it was the nightingale"" ""It was the lark, the herald of the morn"" "Gattinger knows his Shakespeare!" ""Let's talk, it is not day"" ""It is, it is!"" "Too true!" ""Hie hence, be gone, away!" ""It is the lark that sings so out of tune"" "Don't worry, elisabeth, I'm coming." ""O!" "now be gone more light and light it grows"" "Forgive me." "Here is Radio Bavaria with the news." "On the stroke, it will be 8.:00." "8.:00." "berlin." "The Soviet Zone authorities... with the approval and at the request... of the Warsaw Pact..." "last night closed the borders... between West berlin and the Soviet Zone." "This measure is designed to halt the continuing flow of refugees." "From now on, the inhabitants of East berlin and the Soviet Zone... will no Ionger be permitted to work in West berlin." "You're a light sleeper." "I've brought you a bit of breakfast." "What's the time?" "Past 8:00." "It's so quiet." "They're still asleep." "They turn night into day." "Life only starts here at 5:00 in the afternoon." "I've never started up so late." "Except the night my father was buried." "Then I didn't sleep at all." "I've brought something for you." "Recognise the writing?" "It's to you." "It looks like Papa's writing." "You can keep it." "It's from the autumn of '55." "Your father asked me to find your mother's sister." "And I did." "She has a dairy in Hefnerstrasse." "I gave her the 200 marks he'd sent, too." "He mentions that in the letter." "Do read it." ""Frau Emmi Schmidt, née ZiegIer."" "My mother's name was ZiegIer?" "LieseIotte ZiegIer." "I Iike "LieseIotte."" ""I'm sure you'II find the right words to explain my situation..." ""and why I can't come myself." ""please ask Frau Schmidt to tend the grave of my beloved LieseIotte..." ""at the East Cemetery."" "I did what he asked and never told a soul." "What does my aunt look like?" "Go and see." "I'm afraid to." "She's a simple woman, but a good one." "You go and see her." "But have breakfast first, your coffee will get cold." "This is what I Iook like in daylight." "hello." "My mind was far away." "Haven't you slept at all?" "It's so bright." "When you've been up all night... things seem so clear." "It's like you are a projection." "Like you're the only person in the world." "I've still got all yesterday's new faces in my head." "Of course I can't remember a single name." "What brought you to my aunt's?" "I met Reinhard through Stefan... and Hermann and Juan on the KönigspIatz." "Through Juan I met CIarissa... through Hermann, olga... and through OIga, you." "But that's only my story, of course." "Been here long?" "Have I been here long?" "No, I was in the EngIischer Garten." "tell me about yourself." "I'm a good listener when I'm tired." "Your voice sounds like the sea." "Ansgar, listen, I have to go somewhere." "will you come with me and show me the way?" "Do you know Hefnerstrasse?" "Come on, I'II tell you my story on the way." "Have I paid?" "Who is there?" "My mother's sister." "Your mother's sister, and you've never seen her?" "milk Products" "Eggs" " Butter" ""Owner Emmi Schmidt."" "You speak to her." "I think I'II just listen." "I am not sure I want to say who I am." "A bottle of milk, please, and... two straws." "We'II drink it now." "I have cups as well." "Warm or cold?" "Warm." "cold." "A bottle's fine." "To take away." "Yes, it's a fine day." "That's 85 pfennigs, then." "would you know of any rooms to let for students?" "Students, are you?" "I thought so." "I'm often asked." "Try advertising, it might work." "I'm sorry, I can't help." "Her voice is just like yours." "older people often have deeper voices." "alike as two peas." "Don't blow into it." "You're drinking faster." "well, it's my aunt's milk." "shall we go to the Conservatory?" "You'II have to get used to it." "It's not far, five minutes away." "Don't you have a lecture?" "It's not important." "Today nothing's important." "I'm glad I met you." "Me, too." "I'm going to kiss you." "Here and there, here and there" "Among so many people" "There must be one who'II please me" "Turn around, I don't know you" "Are you the one or aren't you?" "No, it isn't you" "Go away, I'II none of you" "Turn around, I don't know you" "Stay" "Are you the one or aren't you?" "Yes, you are the one You must come and dance with me" "High up on the mountains" "The seven dwarves are dancing" "It's nice and warm." "Come here." "I can't believe you're a medical student." "It just doesn't fit you, somehow." "I know." "Are your parents alive?" "Yes, but they are pretty old." "When I was born, my father was 45 and my mother was 40." "You can work it out, just add 23." "Do you mind that they're so old?" "Every other word they say is "Iove."" "My father's a Jehovah's Witness." "He's a hypocrite and a liar." "He never says a word about the Nazis." "But he's got something to hide, I can tell." "I know it." "And I'm their only child." "When I first got here, I kept moving so that they couldn't find me." "You don't like your parents." "So it seems." "Strange." "Now you can understand, EveIyne." "It was all so different for you." "You know what I hate the most about them?" "Their seIf-sacrifice." "They sacrifice their whole lives... and somehow I end up getting the blame." "Somehow it's my fault that they have nothing." "I'm ashamed for them." "Come and sleep, Ansgar." "You're tired." "Yes, I'm tired." ""I didn't want to wake you." ""If you're looking for me, I've gone back to the dairy." "EveIyne."" "It's you." "Come in." "We're in the back room." "It's nice and cosy there." "I can't believe you didn't say a word." "I'm just showing EveIyne the photos." "My, the things you find when you look." "Ansgar, look, I've found a love letter from my father." "He was completely smitten." "Do you want to see a picture of me?" "Is that you?" "Sure, it's EveIyne." "obviously." "It's my mother." "Isn't it incredible?" "The spitting image." "It's so wonderful to see you again." "I mean, to meet you." "Let's sit down, it's like I'm tipsy." "Our father bought the shop just after the First War... before the inflation." "We grew up here." "My mother was "Zenzi" to the whole neighbourhood." "That's Bavarian for Kreszentia, see." "And the bomb?" "A direct hit." "plus a few incendiaries, too." "Like hell, it must've been." "I only saw what it looked like after '45, when I got back... from czechoslovakia." "A ruin, just a ruin." "Here, look." "I'm not on that one, but I couId've been." "These are the Trümmerfrauen, who cleared the rubble." "What's this?" "The Isartor." "charlie must have taken that one." "An American captain I worked for, for two years... in the military Government." "He sent us the pictures afterwards from Michigan." "The national Theatre." "They are rebuilding that." "See that, the whole roof blown off." "There's even a black man in this one." "That's the famous Mop Op, that is." "Mop Op?" "Mop Op. Mopping-Up..." "Operation." "still, those Yanks helped a Iot." "Come back sometimes, EveIyne." "You, too." "I keep thinking it's me." "I'm my own mother." "You did come." "I've brought the piece." "I'm glad." "It's not easy." "So much the better." "Where shall we go?" "My room is no good, with clemens there." "We can't go to mine, either." "My landlady's in a temper." "Did you ring the bell last night?" "No, I wouldn't ring so late." "She says you rang twice." "So where shall we go?" "In broad daylight...." "If Stefan's in, we'II go away." "Isn't it a bit odd?" "Breaking in?" "The others do it all the time." "I'II take a look around." "Is anyone here?" "We're alone." "My cello piece." "I think I've managed to write a real cello concerto." "The cello is the soloist in the fullest sense." "Here's the score." "There are 25 orchestral parts... and all just to set the cello off." "To give it a chance to explore all its possibilities... that was my aim." "The orchestration is very light, pianissimo." "The harp's important... but very gentle, rhythmical, just touched in...." "well, Iet's try it." "I'm dying to hear how it sounds." "Here's the cello part." "First, there's two bars in the orchestra." "I'II just give you an idea." "VioIins, violas." "Very gently." "Then the first harp chord." "Then the strings again, a wash of sound." "Underneath, the violas still and the bass." "Then two quintupIets... tutti C in the orchestra and that's your entry." "shall we try it?" "You've put two strokes over the C sharp here." "Do you want a tremolo or a trill?" "TriII." "Imagine a spring day." "Water, a mountain stream and pebbles." "pebbles rolling under the water." "The sun... and wind." "Something like that." "well?" "I Iike it." "It's hard...." "What are you doing after?" "I don't know." "Have you heard from Juan?" "I haven't seen him today." "Maybe he's still here somewhere." "Ghosting around, listening to us." "There were so many people last night." "The room seemed much bigger." "Everything looks different at night." "shall we go on?" "Same place?" "Did you really write this for me?" "Yes, it's your piece." "I kept imagining you, seeing the way you play." "That gave me my ideas." "I'm wondering if I should play it for the competition." "My piece?" "It's good." "But will they like it?" "It's risky." "Better stick to something classical." "I want to take the risk, Hermann." "Let's try another bit." "Here, near the end, bar 164." "It's a lyrical passage, I'm quite pleased with it." "Different tempo." "One, two, three." "It's you." "will you be long?" "No, we're packing up." "We've just been to a film." "You've got to see it." "La Notte, by Antonioni." "When you come out, you're ready to shoot yourself." ""The Last Days of Mankind."" "Reinhard, take the Winchester." "Is it a real Winchester, Iike in the wild West?" "Sure." "They don't make them like this anymore." "Is it loaded?" "I keep the ammo locked up." "What do you need a rifle for?" "It's a prop, for the film." "It belongs to my father." "It makes him feel like a big landowner." "You could blow away an elephant with that." "Except that there are no elephants in our garden." "There are only mice and moles." "So he blows away the mice and moles." "He sounds pretty dangerous." "He was a pilot in the war... in the Condor Legion." "He likes a fight." "Now the fighting's over, he's like a fish out of water." "The army would have had him back... but it's too dull for him, he says." "Fascinating, isn't it?" "Let's go through the bills." "I'm not ashamed to talk about money, Reinhard." "You ought to know what the film cost." "You could set this to music." "Who wrote it?" "I wrote it last night." "It's about the atmosphere in the garden." "If we took out these two verses, this one's about the moon." "It's called full Moon." "Maybe change this... because that would be much clearer." "See what I mean?" "while this bit's just decoration...." "We should work together." "I'II be in touch." "We'd be good, I know." "Yes, we would." "I must go." "Read the poem." "I will." "shall I put the cello on my bike?" "No, it's too dangerous." "Then let me carry it." "I'm used to it." "I feel funny without it." "Can I see you tomorrow?" "I don't know." "I'd Iike to." "Wait and see." "Wait for what?" "Who knows?" "Fate." "AII right then." "suddenly, there was a wall between us." "I drove away thinking... that wall had to come down again." "She'II play my piece and understand its hidden meaning." ""Wait. " But what did she mean... by fate?" "I rode away, to wait." "But I hated waiting." "I've always hated it more than anything." "Everything had happened so quickly." "Aunt Emmi even showed me the place... where Arno and LieseIotte had their private meetings." "I imagined my parents as lovers." "We followed in their footsteps along the Isar." "I worked it out." "In early October of 194 1, my father had his only leave." "And in july, 1942, LieseIotte had me." "It must have happened here." "You couldn't get closer to your roots than I had on my very first day." "And I had found Ansgar." "The more I Iooked for my mother, the more I found myself." "The more I Iooked for myself, the more I found Ansgar." "Look, EveIyne... a big, fat, slimy worm." "If I cut it in half... their two separate halves can go their separate ways." "If I cut it in four, it can go in four different directions." "Stop, Ansgar, you're hurting it." "But if I cut it in lots of pieces, it can't go anywhere." "Look, Ansgar... this must be the chestnut tree my aunt meant, with this wall." "My mother brought a whole four-course meal here once for his birthday." "My father's birthday was on August 8." "In August, the nights are still warm." "You know what I've been thinking?" "That they're both dead." "Your mother rotted away long ago, eaten up by worms and bacteria... and your father's starting to rot right now." "Did you really have to drag me along here?" "For me, they're still alive." "almost more alive than you and me." "Do you know what makes me happy?" "That I was conceived in love." "I can easily imagine it happening here." "The sun shone even in wartime." "Can you imagine it?" "What do you want to imagine it for?" "You are you." "You weren't made." "Look, I'm like that worm." "I just exist." "I just love you, without explanation, without history." "When I say, "I Iove," it's like remembering something." "My first months, perhaps, when I still had a mother." "Is that possible?" "Love is our invention." "It never existed before and it never will again." "And one day, we'II turn to stone..." "like these little statues." "I'II gaze at you... ice-coId and tender... eternally dead." "I want to live with you, Ansgar." "Or die." "well, they didn't make me here." "It's much too cold and wet." "I burned everything that reminded me of my parents." "AII the stuff they made me lug from Rosenheim." "You should have seen it smoke and stink..." "like that plane that crashed in Bayerstrasse." "Corduroy trousers, pullovers." "Bodies burn better than clothes, did you know that?" "And the paper." "AII that paper, covered in words." "Perhaps it was up there." "Or here." "Or here." "Not here." "Dad's movies are dead" "THE SECOND HEIMAT" "CHRONICLE OF A GENERATION IN 13 FILMS" "4" " Ansgar's Death" " Ansgar 1961I62" "Excuse me, what are those funny birds?" "These are coots." "In Munich, we say Duckantern." "And that there." "See?" "Over there." "That is a swan." "When I think of Ansgar..." "I see a friend who would die very early." "It seemed as if you could have observed it in him." "AII his remarks about death." "His pretended cynicism." "His constant laughing." "If you know the ending... it can seem as if the whole life had prepared for it." "The love affair between Ansgar and EveIyne..." "lasted seven months and four days." "They were never apart, not even for hours." "EveIyne attended the medicine lectures with him... and Ansgar went along to her singing lessons." "hello." "I start in the number 6 line tomorrow." "Their love gave us all a sense of eternity." "It must have felt like this in the war when lovers said goodbye." "In the war...." "They were a fixed point amidst our world of covert genius... our brief affairs and our fears." "Ever since I saw your aunt's photos, the city looks different to me." "Look at these windows, these walls, just as they were in the war." "If we were here 20 years ago, we'd be torn to shreds." "But I feel safe now with you." "Take care, EveIyne, I'm a sinking ship." "It is swirling around me." "But I'm a good swimmer." "Do you believe in fate?" "No, never." "Soon it'II be too late." "I feel it." "We hardly noticed the world we lived in." "Yuri Gagarin became the first man in space... the Americans disgraced themselves in the Bay of Pigs..." "Khrushchev and Kennedy met in Vienna..." "Hemingway committed suicide... and they built the berlin wall." "These were the events of 1961." "This was autumn." "We, the friends in Munich, felt the melancholy of autumn above all." "The realisation of our desires was not really far." "But, nevertheless, there was this sadness in our souls." "We had no explanation for this." "would you shoot someone, Bernhard?" "Depends on the situation." "Sometimes you look like John Wayne." "In Westerns, I can find the whole philosophy of cinema." "First, they meet at eye level, always." "And then... the showdown, the moment of truth." "I really love those movies." "Movies with no women in them." "Have you never been in love?" "We all know you are." "Ansgar walks in and you'II cry floods of tears." "Why don't you answer?" "What for?" "Love, pain, agony." "That's all nonsense." "Why are you here?" "Waiting for Ansgar?" "What's that?" "What is that?" "Show me." "That's terribly dangerous." "Where did you get it?" "From Ansgar." "Don't!" "Love and death." "It's an addiction." "You don't know anything about love." "You know what love is?" "This is love." "AII the rest is imagination." "You'II never make good films that way." "Want to have a go?" "Line up the sights... and when you fire... you have to be ice-coId." "Ice-coId?" "Ice-coId." "Fire." "I can't." "Go on." "No." "Fire." "You've got me." "olga, how could you do that to me?" "Stop it!" "You're all crazy." "calm down." "Why are you crying?" "I'm not." "Your turn." "clear the decks." "You love Ansgar, don't you?" "That's all over." "What if I take care of olga?" "She's not bad." "If you do this...." "Go on, shoot." "Look at my hands tremble." "I've never trembled like that." "I'm afraid my aunt will be back soon." "She won't come in here." "She respects the library, I know." "Have you had lots of girls in here?" "Listen, EveIyne, you never must compare with the others." "Promise me that." "I Iove you." "What's so funny?" "I was just thinking of someone I met this morning." ""See that, there's a swan."" "I always thought people like that only lived in the country." "But they have them in the city, too." ""See that, there's a swan." -"See that, there's a swan."" "You certainly think I'm crazy, because I have to think about that." "Just when I want to say that I Iove you." "My poor head." "I thought about other things, too." "Just now, when we were making love." "About what?" "About that jacket, for instance." "What happened?" "Who's been shooting?" "Was it you?" "I had to." "Are you crazy?" "I cut down the birch." "You are really silly, Reinhard." "What's it all about?" "He won't listen." "We've got bills for over 2,400 marks... the distributor won't touch it... and I've borrowed 8,000 marks... of my inheritance to pay for the film." "How much longer does he think this can go on?" "And that's why you shot that tree?" "You look great." "Just crawl out of bed?" "Answer me!" "So you've touched your inheritance." "You might have to rent out the room of your villa one day." "Or have me as a lodger." "8,000 marks." "His dad must be rich." "I don't have to justify myself to you." "I heard a shot just now." "Don't touch it, Miss EveIyne, it's dangerous." "Three cheers for poetry." "Reinhard, you are great." "I still lived with clemens... and shared his cramped room at Josef's." "I still practiced in the woodshed... and spent my nights at FoxhoIes." "For days, Josef had been brooding over architects' plans... and receiving visits from smooth-faced men in suits and ties." "On that day, even Josef got his own Sunday best out of the wardrobe." "Now, I'II feel like MaIer." "Do you remember him?" "The claim that he could see into the future." "I can see a big digger in here... a huge great thing." "Like the one that is dredging at the railway station." "It comes in here, see, on this bit of land... and mows everything down like a tank." "Don't look at me like that." "I know what I am talking about." "This is all going to be knocked flat... cleaned away, see?" "My coal depot's a blot on the landscape, right?" "There's going to be flats instead like a big city should have." "With balconies and Iouvered windows... and underfloor heating so they can charge the earth." "You mean, we've all got to move?" "There's no more room here for music students... or artists, or poor people." "Understand?" "Where can I go?" "And when?" "Hermann, nothing lasts forever." "It'II all come down in March." "I've heard it just now." "But the new owners want to show their appreciation... that I'm giving up my whole life... and that my family's been here... for three generations." "They're giving me a settlement that I just can't refuse." "It's so much money, I'II never have to work again." "So, no more job." "No more coal dust on the pillow." "AII this time I hadn't let myself think about CIarissa." "And now this letter." ""Herr Hermann Simon, Munich, " it said on the envelope." "That was all." "I should have married." "In 1947, near Landshut there was... this farmer's daughter." "But I didn't love her." "You understand?" "She had left it to chance how long the letter would take... or if it wouId ever find me." "Is that what she'd meant by fate?" "hello." "hello." "Is FräuIein LichtbIau in?" "You must be the composer." "No, I'm afraid she's away." "Away?" "But I've just had a letter from her." "Such a lovely girl, I'm so fond of her." "And hardworking, she practices daily." "AII night, too, if she can, but in a rented flat." "I don't mind, I played myself." "Not anymore, of course, and the children left long ago." "But work." "She often took the cello away with her." "I read CIarissa's "I Iove you" over and over... until it began to look like forgery." "She was gone." "Three weeks passed." "Four weeks, six weeks." "I heard no more from her, and no one saw her." "What secret was she hiding from us all?" "Are you cold?" "Why don't you take your jacket off?" ""Giovanni Franziskus Preszender..." ""Q. RaphaeI fecit Tauri..." ""anno domini..." ""17 49. "" "Over 200 years old." "It's waited for you a Iong time." "Now you've found each other." "It's yours, CIarissa." "Take it." "Now I'm sad." "It keeps happening." "When I'm very close to what I want, I'm sad." "I don't know why." "I'd Iike to give you everything." "I want to fulfill all your wishes." "I think there is a force in me that destroys everything as soon as I have it." "What is it?" "You're still searching." "You are trying out." "You're young." "I want to take the cello and go." "Do, then." "You know that I still love you?" "I'm going now." "You've played better, CIarissa." "Practice, that's the secret." "If I were your age, CIarissa..." "I'd make the most of myself." "You must put all your energy into it." "You've got enough talent." "Mother." "You should have the thirst for knowledge." "Do you choose your friends carefully?" "Stop it, Mother." "You can't be careful enough." "Do you know how I met your father?" "You've told me a hundred times." "Life only gives you one chance, remember that." "When is this competition?" "In five weeks." "Then you can do it." "I'II help you." "Light meals, fresh air... and a mother who knows what's good for you." "Not everyone has that." "Your old cello sounded better somehow." "Is that possible?" "I have to get used to it." "Listen, CIarissa... with me behind you, you'II win." "That's how it always was." "What do you think of that?" "horrible." "What was it?" "I Iike it better every day." "AII right, I'II leave you to it." "Tickets, please...." "Change at the next stop." "Tickets, please." "Thank you." "Tickets are checked every 280th trip, so now you got 279 free." "I want to be with you always." "always?" "Even when I'm cross?" "And when I'm on the toilet?" "Pervert." "Next stop is Monument." "Change at the next stop." "There's Hermann." "Hermann!" "hello!" "I was trying hard to forget." "CIarissa's letter, my new friends... my Hunsrück vows, all my unfulfilled dreams." "I'd written a piece for Frau Moretti." "A theatrical happening, with drums and electronic music... piano, a wind machine and eight vacuum cleaners." "Frau Moretti represented a piece of the world of operetta." "With her help, I'd shock both my friends and my professors." "I've got to laugh bright as silver." "Frau Moretti!" "Can you hold on a moment?" "We have to test the machines." "Don't turn around." "He arrived." "My new conquest." "Do me a favour and rehearse my part with me, please." "You know my difficulties in this foreign country." "Yes, of course I do." "Let's do the opening, please." "Frau Moretti's entrance." "Straight in." "And please keep a straight face." "I want nobody to laugh." "Do you all have your tails?" "recently I'd taken to visiting the plump Hungarian quite often." "Maybe I still hoped to rent her room." "And maybe, too, because to her I was the genius..." "I'd wanted to be to my friends." "What's wrong?" "He's gone." "What did I do wrong?" "Was it that high note?" "Maybe he didn't like the dress." "It's the music." "That I don't believe." "Boy." "Do me a favour, go and see... where he got to." "please." "I've come to show you my new cello." "You have been missing." "More than six weeks." "The whole school was looking for you." "I can go where I please." "Nobody's stopping you." "But before you put everything on fire, you light everything before you run away." "AII?" "Everywhere?" "You're talking in riddles." "I got a letter from you." "That was a Iong time ago." "Give it back?" "No." "please." "Is that why you came?" "I'm going to play your piece in Neuburg." "Under Mamangekis." "My cello concerto...." "I'd forgotten about it." "What do you think of it?" "It's good." "It's really good, Hermann." "I won the competition." "Where have you been so long?" "And what about that letter?" "I must have been mad." "I must have been mad." "A perfect pair." "It seems even longer ago to me than to you." "I'm sure." "Hermann, you are like a dream." "I wake up and then you're gone..." "leaving hardly any traces." "That's how you seem to me." "And you to me." "I sat in on the rehearsal, Hermann." "Great atmosphere." "You've got something really strong here." "Do you think so?" "Thank you." "I've got to get back." "But you have to see my cello." "It's a real italian one." "I call it Giovanni after its maker." "I've got to go back." "Come to the concert?" "It's in two weeks." "will you be back?" "She's on tour with the winners of the contest." "You will get royalties." "See to it." "Young man, we're waiting." "My genius." "Good." "Now the Iegato." "Good." "AII in one breath." "And again." "relish the notes." "please, breathe out." "Now, breathe in, against my hand... all the way down." "And now out slowly." "Yes, please?" "That's my friend." "Don't worry." "And again." "Breathe out, and in." "Desist, Wotan!" "Desist!" "flee the Curse of the Ring!" "Lest doom and disaster befall thee" "Wide are his realms" "Don't put my cap on." "I don't like it on you." "I don't like it on you." "I've been away for six weeks now." "feels like forever." "It's real hard to imagine how the situation is in Neuburg." "Your faces become blurred... when I try hard to remember you." "finally I found my real home." "Don't be cross with me for this." "You were always my dearest." "I've been accepted at the Conservatory in the departments of chant and oboe." ""Next Friday..." ""there's a concert in Neuburg." ""Go along." ""I know the cellist..." ""and the composer is a friend of mine."" "As you see, I've made friends here." "One of them means a Iot to me." "Do you remember what your mother looked like?" "Just like me, I swear it's true." "Send love to mother and Hartmut." "Yours, EveIyne." "I always will be your sister, in spite of everything." "What shall we do now?" "My cello concerto had been a success without my knowing it." "Even my vain composition professor liked it... and was happy to conduct it... when he heard it wouId be broadcast live on radio." "CIarissa had won the cello composition." "And at the final concert, she played my concerto... in front of the critics, agents and professors... who had come to hear her." "Boy, please come here." "Where's Congregation hall, please?" "Do you know who that reporter was?" "I hope that picture of me giving you the bouquet... doesn't get into the Wassenburg paper." "No one at home knows I'm here." "The new cello is a dream." "It's as though I never had another." "It's yours." "Forever." "It's such a strange thought." "For 200 years, it was handed on from one person to another... and now it's mine." "I can't believe it." "And yet it is mine." "It obeys me... it forgives me everything." "When I'm nervous, when I'm furious..." "when I'm in love." "Are you still in love?" "Did you Iike his piece?" "You play it beautifully." "I asked you about the music." "I'm not a musician." "I react emotionally, that's all." "It's hard to play." "It has genius." "You love him." "please give me a chance, too, tonight." "For six weeks you were in my house almost every day." "Yet we weren't alone once." "Georg, we agreed." "Stop hoping." "You frighten me." "And don't try to tempt me with presents." "The cello is more than enough." "You're crushing me." "Let's join the others." "I don't want to be alone with you." "Don't be angry with me." "I'm so glad you came." "We've changed our minds." "Good!" "We hoped you would." "please sit down." "Look at this, your CIarissa's reviews." "My CIarissa?" "Oh, all right." "It's a fairytale success." "Here, look. "New Star in cello Heaven."" ""...beautiful balance between..." ""forte and piano...."" "Something is also written here." "Listen." ""brilliant execution...." ""CIarissa LichtbIau, at Congregation hall, Hamburg." ""The jury's choice of this young cellist was rightly." ""CIarissa LichtbIau was the star of the evening." ""She showed complete mastery of the instrument..." ""and enchanted..." ""both fans and critics." ""In the final concert she showed her full ability..." ""with a virtuoso piece by a fellow student at the Munich Conservatory."" "Read on." "Peter W. Koenig." "The end." "The end?" "It can't be." ""...a virtuoso piece..." ""by a fellow student at the Munich Conservatory."" "The end." "A virtuoso, but nameless." "An artist's lot." "There's a picture of her." "Did you look at it carefully?" "The man who tells me...." "I'd gone as far as I couId... with my cello concerto, and wanted to do something completely different." ""Enigma, riddle"..." "RIDDLE" "I called it, and we rehearsed it night and day." "That too had kept me from Neuburg." "It was based on an old riddle... that I remembered from childhood." "In it, I was really asking CIarissa a question." ""He loves her." ""She loves him not." ""She seeks him." ""He runs away..." ""and yet he stays." ""What is it?"" "What is it?" "What is it?" "What is it?" "Good to see you." "How's it going?" "It's good, very amusing." "I don't do this theatrical stuff anymore." "But it's going down well." "And how was your tour?" "Great." "It was a big success." "Great." "I'm glad." "What is it?" "What is it?" "A poet is someone who lies wittingIy, willingly" "so he alone can tell the truth" "HeIga." "It was great." "For the music and for you." "Thank you." "If you ask me, I didn't like it." "I'm not asking you." "You only listen to brass bands." "really great." "wonderful, Hermann." "So funny." "It was good." "We'II talk later." "follow me, children." "A fine early work of the late avant-garde." "It really has something." "Brave." "VoIker." "Did you approve?" "In principle." "The staging was a bit crude, but apt." "Jean-Marie couldn't come?" "His mother has a concert tonight." "congratulations, Hermann." "What's wrong?" "I wanted to give this back to you." "What is it?" "Hermann, are you coming?" "A bit later!" "You're scared of one another, you revolutionaries." "But Moretti understands." "I knew a man once, an artist... who left the light on in his flat every night... he was so scared of his friends." "I've been thinking a Iot about you." "You're talented, maybe too talented." "You can do whatever people ask." "Oh, my poor feet." "And legs all swollen." "I'm not so young anymore." "These stiIettos are torture." "If only I were a bit rich." "Just a little bit." "Dear God... why did you make me so poor in this city?" "You'II get your due soon." "There were over 200 people there." "Critics and students, who don't pay." "Now we're both sad." "Never to love again." "How right I was." "And pretending to your friends you are doing fine." "Is that a life?" "You have vanished and my purse has gone with you" "May the Lord forgive you all" "for tearing my poor life apart" "Your cruel game will wound my mind" "Your carelessness will break my heart" "You gave me a scare." "Have you been waiting here?" "I have to talk to you." "Why didn't you go in?" "I don't want to meet your girlfriend." "HeIga?" "She's not my girlfriend." "I've come to see my friends." "Why didn't you speak to me tonight?" "And what's this?" "That was long ago." "That's what you said." "I don't understand you." "You're successful." "You have all this admiration." "And you still need me?" "I don't believe it." "But it's your piece that's made me successful." "They keep asking about you." "It's your success, too." "It is?" "It's a wonderful piece." "You can't leave me to do it all alone." "Interviews, invitations, questions about the music... and about you, about the composer." "Listen, CIarissa." "The Sueddeutsche... the Merkur, the AIIgemeine, the TagebIatt." "I read them all." "There wasn't a word about the composer anywhere." "They're absolutely right." "You play like an angel." "You're the new star in cello heaven." "Heaven knows what heaven, but you're the star." "But not at this price." "I'II write other things for you." "Hermann, I want us to be friends." "Do you remember that night with Juan... when we found Herr EdeI dead?" "You talked of friendship then." "I was wrong." "Why?" "It was something else." "Love?" "Yes." "And now?" "Is it... over?" "We're just hedgehogs." "You don't understand." "Oh, it's you, CIarissa." "Sorry, I'm in a bit of a state." "My sainted stepmother's here." "Have I told you she's the pianist EIisabeth Tacke-Weber?" "Is that her playing?" "No, that's VoIker." "He's experimenting." "I'II get my coat, and we'II go out." "But everything's closed." "It's 2:30, at Ieast." "I need company." "I don't want to be alone, that's all." "You understand?" "You're angry." "Of course not." "My stepmother's actually staying at the Bayerischer Hof hotel." "But her fans won't leave her alone there." "So, she's parked herself on me." "VoIker's with her, too." "He's composing a piece for her." "Come in." "Are you tired?" "Go to sleep if you Iike." "I Iike your friend's ideas." "What if I started playing modern music?" "It wouldn't do you much good with my father." "Stop hating him." "He's given you this marvellous piano." "Don't you have a single vase?" "What did you do with my flowers?" "This is our friend, CIarissa." "And what do you play?" "I don't play anything." "What nonsense, she's a superb cellist." "What did you say?" "What's wrong?" "I don't want to play anymore." "That's it." "It's all over between me and the cello." "We've separated." "You're joking." "No." "From now on...." ""shortly before Christmas, Ansgar wrote a letter to me..." ""that I understood only later. "" ""Dear Hermann, maybe you remember a conversation..." ""when we were looking at the photos of Nazis and their women." ""We were talking about our families and about the mess our lives were." ""I have to confess that I have been writing and painting a Iot since the age of 12." ""The difference between us is that my parents..." ""wanted me to become a genius." "How sickening." ""recently, I told them that I had burned all my paintings and poems." "In part this is true." ""I send you some poems I unfortunately consider of genius." ""You can meIodise them, once when I'm dead." ""Can you keep a secret?" "bloody well keep this one." ""Yours, Ansgar. "" "It's such a hole, I've hardly ever slept there." "Poor homeless Ansgar." "Have you paid the rent at Ieast?" "You think they'II arrest me?" "Maybe the police are waiting inside." "Why aren't you ever serious about serious things?" "What's serious?" "That...." "Don't say anything." "Here, Ansgar." "You're back then." "You have visitors." "Your parents are here." "Ansgar, love." "Look, Papa's come, too." "Say hello to him nicely." "What's this sweater?" "tell me later." "Come on." "Wait till he's finished praying." "Ansgar, who's that?" "EveIyne, my girlfriend." "So that's why you've abandoned your old parents." "We haven't seen you for so long, we wondered if you were still alive." "Ansgar, don't treat us like that." ""I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward."" "What is it?" "You know you can't hide anything from me." "What do you want?" "We've paid your rent." "How can you make the poor people wait so long?" "Didn't you get the money we sent?" "We're only concerned for you, pet." "I'm working." "I can manage." "But why, Ansgar?" "We have enough money." "You are our only child, and we need so little." "I have plenty left for you." "You're so cruel to us sometimes." "Leave him alone, Mother." "If he wants to struggle, Iet him." "It strengthens the soul." "Ansgar, what about your poetry?" "Are you writing?" "We've looked everywhere." "Where are all your notebooks?" "Burnt." "That's funny." "He's really a genius, isn't he, Papa?" "Even at school, he wrote like an angel." "His teacher kept all his poems." "She still cries when you read them." "How did it go, Ansgar, that lovely one?" ""Oh, God, give each his own death"" "How did it go on?" "And you ought to see his paintings." "especially the watercolours." "Right, Papa?" "That one, you know, on the stairs." "Storm Over Rosenheim." "You know the one I mean." "That's my favourite of all." "I always wanted you to go to the Academy of Fine Arts." "But Papa always considered your disposition to poetry higher." "Take a look, EveIyne." "These are my parents." "It's really sad." "Sad?" "What do you mean?" "I'm not a poet." "And I'm not a painter, either." "Let's go." "Have you finished?" "Can't you understand?" "We're worried about you." "We're afraid of what might happen to you in the city." "I don't want to hear anymore." "I don't want your money, or your love." "You stick to me like slime." "Stop it." "You're so damn Christian to me." "I'm finished with you." "So this was our foxhole." "Good Lord, this is a real villa." "We'II go round the back, over the veranda." "Are we allowed to?" "Everything we want." "well, nearly." "Wait." "My high-heeIed shoes." "Give me your hand." "close the door!" "Okay, you old owl." "Come on." "This is Stefan." "This is DorIi, my best friend from home." "This is Juan." "And I'm alex." "Christ, alex, didn't you remove the fuse?" "Juan, remove the fuse." "Yes, you do it, DorIi." "DorIi's a great electrician." "alex, give me the screwdriver." "And a great plumber, too." "Is the fuse out?" ""And God said, Let there be light:" ""and there was light."" "Fuse." "lovely." "You've really made it lovely." "Juan, tell me that proverb again." "Ansgar, what's wrong?" "I'm a failure." "I make myself sick." "Kick me out, EveIyne." "My love." "I'm so happy you're here." "Are you in pain?" "Have you been drinking?" "I took something." "Not today, yesterday." "You didn't notice." "I need it still." "I did notice, Ansgar." "Medicine doesn't suit me, you're right." "I can't make myself do it anymore." "It's true." "We haven't been to a lecture for weeks." "That's bad, Ansgar." "You're so strong." "You always know what you want." "You put me to shame." "I'm a piece of dirt." "I hate seIf-pity." "You mean yourself?" "Who else?" "I know I have to fight." "But for what?" "I'm so scared, so damn scared." "I've never seen you Iike this." "Are we together too much?" "Is that the reason?" "Maybe." "Or maybe you're just hungry." "I'II come to you then and warm you." "shall I tell you a story?" "I'd Iike to know what makes them want to go on." "Art?" "It's a delusion." "It's all vanity." "Vanity and conceit." "I'II sing to you." "close the door." "It's freezing in here." "Have you run out of coal again?" "When everyone's here, it'II warm up." "I'II warm you up myself." "There's a Iot more in the attic, Juan." "carnival decorations from before the war, too." "We'II just have to dig around a bit." "There's a torch up here somewhere." "My father kept everything." "You could write a thesis about this attic." "hold this a minute." "Part of Schwabing's history is hidden away here." "This picture, for instance, and that one." "That one's good, too." "There they are." "These beautiful masks...." "We'II take them all down with us, of course." "Look at this." "It's the showpiece, a real Marc." "When the house was built... at the turn of the century... the secessionists met here." "Then Der blaue Reiter... the Expressionists, the surrealists... and all the rest of them." "You know, paintings don't mean very much to me." "But there's one here I Iike very much." "It's of that famous carnival party in 1932." "I don't remember if it was here or in our other villa in Bogenhausen." "I was 21 ." "Look, it's supposed to be by Beckmann." "They're all portraits." "This is Feuchtwanger... with his wife, Martha." "Here's Brecht." "And this Thomas Mann and his wife." "And this one?" "He looks like Herr Gattinger." "You recognise him?" "He was 25 then." "My God, how time flies." "We adored him." "He was...." "He was an extraordinary handsome man." "Did you love him?" "I mean, you loved him, didn't you?" "well, I was his closest friend until the end." "When was the end?" "That was in april '45." "Then he had to disappear." "Did he do something?" "What?" "No." "I mean, in the concentration camp." "He was in the SS Leibstandarte." "That was an elite corps." "The pick of the generation." "I understand." "Take the other end." "We'II bring it downstairs." "Good." "It doesn't look heavy." "Come and see, children." "We've found all the lovely old things." "Aren't they gorgeous?" "Are you going to the party?" "Later." "I'd Iike to dress you up." "Make you look nice." "With make-up?" "Yes, I'd make you a lion." "And I'd make you a Greek youth, with a crown of laurels." "A hero." "Why?" "It's the opposite of this soldier's uniform you're wearing." "I think I'd be a donkey." "Donkeys are obstinate and intelligent." "And cuddly." "And I..." "I'd be a night owl." "The owl and the donkey." "Nice." "I'II be at FoxhoIes by half past midnight." "Can you get hold of some makeup?" "Sure, from OIga." "Great." "I really want to make us into animals." "Go on, hurry now." "half past midnight!" "animals!" "Watch out!" "Haven't you got a girlfriend, alex?" "I Iove a certain Ingrid of HeideIberg." "The mysterious Ingrid of HeideIberg." "will we ever get to meet her?" "She can't make up her mind between me and a chap called klein." "Are you a virgin?" "In a sense, yes." "A mental, spiritual sense only." "Reinhard, meet little EIfie." "little EIfie." "pleased to meet you." "Why not a female lead, Reinhard?" "HeIga, I told you, start on the right." "Where's the drink?" "In the kitchen." "Juan, don't you want to dance with the young ladies?" "I Iove talking to you... but you're young." "I feel very old." "With every language I Iearned, I grew older." "And died a little more." "Lived, you mean." "I admire your languages, and envy you." "We are all ghosts." "Why?" "Think of the picture we brought down from the attic." "Our ancestors." "Aren't we like them, somehow?" "Ansgar is dead." "Did you know that Stefan is moving out?" "He says he'd Iike to sleep in, for once." "But I expect it's really to prepare for his state examination." "And I'd Iike you to take over for him." "Yes, there's the grand piano here." "I Iike you, and I Iike your music." "You'II come to something, I'm quite certain." "Thank you." "What's wrong with everyone?" "Is that all?" "This is all I have left of Ansgar." "A shirt, some underwear... socks, a tie... a cap... shaving things... cigarettes." "It's impossible." "There was so much." "He took a whole big trunk with him." "Suits, shirts, paintings... photos, records, everything." "And I must find his notebooks." "But nothing." "An empty suitcase... some old junk... a few old newspapers." "It's very suspicious." "Where are all his things?" "FräuIein, you must tell me." "If not, I'm going to the police." "So, it was true." "What?" "Ansgar burned everything that reminded him of you." "What are you talking about?" "My God, don't talk like that to me." "I'm his mother, after all." "My poor boy." "What's this?" "What does this mean?" "I don't know." "He was studying medicine." "Was he addicted?" "And you?" "Do you take drugs, too?" "I beg you, tell me the truth." "You can't lie to a mother at a time like this." "Did he take drugs?" "No." "And if he did, it was long ago." "You're lying." "I can't help you." "That's Ansgar's sweater." "Take it off at once." "Don't touch me." "My God, you not only lie, you steal, too?" "I want my Ansgar back." "So do I, you stupid woman." "It's just like the streets in the city." "You've got row houses, new houses... old houses, barracks... palaces, villas." "The cemetery is a mirror of the city." "Now, we had our first Munich death." "It's like back home in the village." "You see a grave, and it's someone you used to know." "I want to die like Hemingway." "One shot." "Boom." "It's over when I want." "We're wasting our time." "For months now, we have been wasting our time." "We talk and talk and talk." "Too little." "THE SECOND HEIMAT" "CHRONICLE OF A GENERATION IN 13 FILMS" "5" " playing with Freedom" " HeIga 1962" "Some days you remember perfectly... as though caught by a camera." "The soft morning light... the banners moving in the breeze... the women praying in the procession." "Corpus Christi Day 1962 was such a day that I'II never forget." "already in the morning there was thunder in the air." "For days it had been as hot as summer in italy." "I was so full of longing, I couldn't bear it." "My skin ached with desire for...." "I tried to express it in words, in poems." "I recorded it all in my mind." "I observed what was going on in the city." "Then, in myself..." "I inhaled the scent of piety and sin... and of the birch branches that lined the streets." "I too was a birch tree, waiting for the growing storm." "I'd been restless all day... impatient and irritable." "When the storm broke in the afternoon, I was giving a piano lesson." "Tommy was the son of a designer... and an actress." "A spoiled brat." "I remember that day vividly, too." "Right." "Back to the beginning." "We spent half an hour talking about this last time." "These aren't crotchets, they're quavers." "Here and off." "Right." "That's better." "Mind the phrasing." "Go on." "Tommy!" "We've been on this piece almost a year." "You'II drive me mad." "When you concentrate, it's not so bad." "Then, next time, it's back to square one!" "Don't you enjoy playing the piano?" "Does it interest you at all?" "I always look forward to lessons, honest!" "And you're lot nicer than Dr. Bach." "He had false teeth." "Tommy!" "Yes, Mama." "Be quiet and practise!" "Every time, while playing, he used to take them out..." "Stop talking!" "...and put them there on the piano." "Yuck!" "Tommy, I know all that." "And FräuIein Burkhardt." "She was an opera singer, or she wanted to be." "Anyway, she used to sing along really loud while playing the piano." "I hated her, too." "also, because she smelled like sour milk." "Tommy, you've told me all this before and so has your mother." "I just want you to practise on a regular basis." "If you don't, I won't come anymore." "Right?" "From the top then." "Tommy, what did I just say?" "Look, I'II show you." "It's so easy." "I knew how to play it when I was seven." "You play beautifully." "If only I'd learned the piano." "I couId listen to you for hours." "Do you think Tommy will ever learn?" "He won't concentrate." "It's the same in school." "You just won't concentrate, will you?" "The psychologist says music is the finest cure." "So you've got to do it." "I'II tell you what." "If you learn that piece by Christmas, you'II get your horse." "BIackmaiIer." "Isn't that fair?" "A horse for a piece of music?" "Go on then." "Perhaps we've given him too many toys." "May I stay for a while?" "Do sit down." "tell me a bit about yourself." "What would you Iike to know?" "Everything!" "Everything?" "Where are you from?" "The RhineIand." "The RhineIand?" "Guess where I'm from?" "In this family, there was a strange complicity." "Even Tommy seemed part of it." "But what was it?" "The storm brought no relief." "I stayed for supper though I kept wanting to escape... that seaIed-off penthouse." "Why don't you come with us to SyIt next week?" "Some friends of ours have a lovely house there on the dunes." "We go there every year." "Five weeks or more." "Tommy, your plate!" "Our friends will be in italy, so there's plenty of room." "Seven rooms, plus sauna!" "On SyIt, we go around naked." "Mama's even gone shopping naked!" "only on the beach." "We'd Iike to make you an offer." "Come and give Tommy lessons... make sure he practises... and you'II get free bed and board in the good sea air." "Go on, dear." "Your travel expenses, of course... and 300 marks a week." "That's 1,500 marks altogether." "It'II do you good." "You're very pale." "I promise I'II practise like mad." "Three hours a day." "Take his book away." "well...." "You know, I am not prepared for this." "I was going to work in Munich during vacations." "Composing?" "Among other things." "There's a superb piano in the house." "What kind, Tommy?" "A Steinway." "It says in gold." "will you have some more wine?" "I'II give you the address, anyway." "tell me, why do you always bring your guitar along?" "Mondays and Thursdays are my guitar classes." "It's in Kempten." "Kempten is very nice." "I'm sure you'd Iike it." "You go every year?" "Yes." "For how many years now?" "Five." "Very nice people." "careful!" "Is it a Stradivarius?" "Don't touch!" "It's valuable." "Tommy, you're awful." "You can't keep your hands off things." "Come here, now." "How long have you been playing?" "About 10 or 1 2 years." "And you're still taking lessons." "Guitar is one of my subjects at musical academy." "would you play something for us?" "well, ok." "Sit still, Tommy!" "I wandered the streets all day, looking for you." "In the evening, the city filled with people... street musicians everywhere." "What are you writing?" "A cycle." "Where are they going?" "LeopoIdstrasse." "Something's up!" "When I heard about the riot there, I thought, "It's starting at last!"" "As if that's what I'd been waiting for all day." "Do you remember how it started?" "Three kids were playing rock-and-roII music on the street singing rock-and-roII songs." "An outraged citizen from the house next door called the radio patrol." "But when the policemen arrived wanting to drag away the kids... the people in a café took their side." "One of them let down the tyres on the police car." "And that started the riots." "I was on the way home, and they knocked me over!" "Just look at me." "You're bleeding." "I fell into a puddle left by the storm." "You're not safe anywhere!" "I didn't do anything!" "They must have mixed me up with someone else!" "It was the first time we encountered it.:" "The hatred of the authorities for anyone young... anyone who rejected their petit-bourgeois order." "I've just got here, I've no idea...." "You haven't been beaten?" "No!" "What's my guitar got to do with it?" "clear off!" "I haven't done anything!" "I tried to steal away... but that only made them suspicious." "They didn't want me." "They wanted my guitar." "It was my guitar they hated." "I've had enough!" "I'm not going back out there!" "What happened?" "You're bleeding and shaking." "Did they attack you, too?" "Are students fair game now?" "It wasn't like that in my day!" "What?" "Are you trying to tell me the Nazis were better?" "Don't start singing their praises!" "control yourself, please." "I understand your indignation." "Go to the police tomorrow and demand your rights." "I'II gladly testify to the value... of your guitar." "well, I've seen worse." "What happened to your guitar?" "Shattered!" "Some thug of a policeman smashed it." "Now I'II get you a plaster and you'II be fine." "The mob is back in uniform." "GeroId, have we got any pIasters?" "Here's some bedding, and a plaster." "We must be nice to Herr Simon, it was a great shock to him." "He's had that guitar since he was a boy." "He's practically lived with it, you understand?" "You do it." "Herr Simon, quieter, please!" "The neighbours will complain!" "Today is June 22, 1962." "We are witnesses!" "We mustn't ever forget!" "I want to live!" "Do you still remember why we came to Munich?" "Do you?" "Munich doesn't want us." "It despises us, treats us like garbage." "I want to get away from here." "Go somewhere." "Just forget all this!" "To the south." "The italians love art, I know." "I'm not going to run away like a dog with its tail between its legs." "They won't get rid of me that easily." "I need my rights, don't you understand... or I might as well be dead!" "AII our friends are away on holiday." "They're enjoying the summer night." "They have someone to love." "They'II read about this in the paper, and feel safe." "Don't you see, we're powerless in this Bavaria!" "We mustn't accept that!" "Ever!" "One day you'II be successful." "You'II see." "I'II be proved right." "A drink?" "I'II never write anything for the masses." "I owe that to myself." "The masses are sick and savage, Iike this state." "Long live the individual!" "I'm sick with longing." "I'II leave this for you." "You women are a mystery to me." "I'm like a birch tree... a tangle of thorns, a medusa in the sea." "It's as simple as that!" "I want to be alone." "What?" "What's wrong?" "You're like an animal." "Don't go away." "I didn't mean it like that." "Now I want to be alone." "could I see the guitar in the window?" "Sure, but be careful, it's a really good instrument." "Very delicate." "I'II be careful." "It's not made for wandering on the streets." "Not to mention taking it to Schwabing making a racket on the streets." "And it's 200 marks, minimum." "Where'd you learn that?" "You're really good!" "will you keep it for me if I leave a deposit?" "150 marks is rock bottom, it's what I paid for it myself." "150 is okay." "I have 25 right now." "will that be enough for the deposit?" "No smoking here!" "This way, ladies." "Here they are." "This is like Nazi Germany!" "So that's him." "UIrich HöIscher, is that your name?" "Come on in." "Who's a Nazi?" "Say it again!" "You all are!" "Look what they've done to me!" "What did you do under the Nazis?" "Shut up!" "So it's true?" "I know you!" "Aren't you the one who says, "I broke his guitar"?" "Last night you smashed up my guitar for no reason whatsoever." "I recognise you and I demand compensation!" "Shut up, you dirty beatnik." "But it's true!" "Be careful, don't tell them anything." "They're Nazis!" "Shut up!" "Speak German!" "I want to see your superior!" "Eric, come here." "Your name?" "Hermann Simon." "Address?" "Fuchsstrasse 1, 8 Munich 23." "And what did we break?" "My guitar." "He did!" "And you play the guitar?" "Where?" "It was on DiIIesstrasse." "So you play on the street?" "No!" "Come with me." "Stop!" "Don't go with them!" "It's a trap!" "What happened?" "Never mind, we've got his address." "Christ, it hurts!" "We made it!" "How many times in my Iife had I sought refuge in flight?" "There were times when I had my own theory of escape.:" ""He who fights and runs away..." ""lives to fight another day. "" "I still had that invitation to SyIt, from Tommy's parents." "I needed a new guitar, and I needed money!" "The summer holidays had begun." "Why stay in Munich, when all my friends had gone?" "I wasn't running away." "But I felt alone in the riot-torn city." "They're filming!" "Fantasists!" "Do you know them?" "Yes, they're friends." "You know them well?" "Very well!" "What station was that?" "RoIandseck." "How do I get back?" "What's the next stop?" "Bonn." "Bonn?" "Take the local to koblenz." "Is yesterday tomorrow?" ""only the fragrance of her words...." "farewell!"" ""A meadow, a horse, a sky...."" ""There's enchantment in every beginning."" ""The wind tugs at the heartstrings."" ""Beyond the horizon, another."" "With a woman's instinct she knew that Fate awaited her in RoIandseck." ""But nothing awaited there." ""I'm going on to DüImen, HeIga."" "Nobody was waiting there." "I'm travelling on to DüImen." "HeIga - 23 June" "Daddy!" "I'd almost given you up." "Where have you been?" "I made a little detour." "Don't I get a little peck?" "We could walk faster than this!" "You used to admire me." "Watch out, Daddy." "The bell still doesn't work." "Five months, Daddy!" "You've no sense of time at all." "Here you are!" "I've just seen Munich on television." "lovely to see you, darling." "What's happening in Munich?" "Riots in Schwabing!" "...a police officer, who hit me... with his truncheon... even though I told him I lived in ViIIenstrasse 3, coming from Landshut." "I was crossing the square, alone... when this policeman almost pushed me over." "I said, "What's that for?"" "The answer was a rubber truncheon." "while we were filming the riot for television... two policemen attacked me." "I yelled, "I'm a reporter. "" "But they tore into me all the same." "The Mayor of Munich, Dr. VogeI, claims... no women have been hurt." "well, look at me." "The bastards!" "You're not to talk like that!" "...a few incidents I cannot condone... and I wish to express my sincere regret...." "Thank heavens you weren't there!" "...for 15 minutes, I personally attempted... to calm down the crowd, some of whom... were standing on the roadway... blocking the traffic." "Turn it off, I don't want to see it!" "But I do!" "...whereupon one large group dispersed...." "Some of my friends are there." "Those hooIigans are your friends?" "I forbid you to talk like that!" "You have no idea what you are talking about." "You forbid me?" "You're in our house now, don't forget." "And here, yobs like that get no sympathy!" "I'd Iike to blow up the whole of DüImen." "HeIga, sweetie... what a state you're in." "Is it the heat, or this Munich business?" "Or is it a man?" "You can tell me." "You know that, don't you?" "Hypocrites, liars." "And it's so horribly peaceful here!" "You make me sick!" "Don't preach at us!" "Look at this." "They always want to play with the boys." "smile." "7 1, 72, 73...." "Can you drive?" "See that?" "It's a war wound." "Every now and then I get these blackouts." "Just for a few seconds." "That's why I always pick up hitchhikers, see?" "To keep an eye on me." "Understand?" "160, isn't that a bit fast?" "Not with this baby." "She really holds the road." "See this." "Like on rails?" "careful!" "No one else makes them like this." "I never buy anything but Mercedes." "Let's talk." "Then, you'II see if there's a power cut in the old brain!" "It's awfully hot today." "Sometimes I'm quite pleased about the head injury." "It knocked all memory of hitler and the war right out of my head." "The whole thing's completely wiped out." "So I don't suffer, Iike those poor sods who can't forget." "And I'm free to concentrate on the future." "See a problem, solve it." "That's my motto." "Are you an engineer?" "Nope, technical salesman." "I don't understand technology, but I understand technicians." "What are they like?" "Idiots!" "You just lock them in... until they're done!" "Then they're happy, and go off on holiday with their wives." "Don't worry, I'm okay." "Where are you headed?" "To SyIt." "For a holiday job." "You don't look like a lifeguard to me." "I teach piano." "A musician?" "well, blow me down!" "A musician." "A musician!" "What is wrong with you?" "Nothing, why?" "I blacked out." "Didn't you see?" "No, nothing." "You must watch me better." "Okay, I will be talking now, that way it'II be easier for you to watch me." "I was an officer in the Luftwaffe." "21, 22, 23...." ""They know they are meant for each other, and this..." ""is the love of their lives." ""film star Vera Tschechowa was born in berlin in 1940." ""She came to films from fashion school."" "Do you know any actors in Munich?" "It says here they all hang out in Schwabing." "DüImen's idea of Munich." "The title's a bit gloomy, but it should be good." ""Eat in bed and you're left with crumbs!"" "I always used to eat in bed, because Mum said:" ""Who knows if we'II eat tomorrow." In the bad years...." "I still have habits from those days." "I can't throw bread away." ""Hard bread isn't hard." "only no bread is hard."" "Look, who's coming." "Marianne!" "Hurry up!" "She looks like Carmen in person." "A real lady." "The twins wouldn't sleep, so I had to call their grandma." "I feel so wicked." "You know, in Würzburg, when I first met WestphaI... we used to creep into the cinema so his wife wouldn't see us." "It was my first time outside Munich in two years." "I hadn't seen open countryside since I'd left the Hunsrück." "My eyes had got used to the closed prospects of streets... and the artificial light of rooms." "I felt quite uncertain in this little country town." "But I wouldn't show it." "I was Hermann W. Simon, the budding genius... without history or home..." "like Odysseus cast up on a foreign shore." "What do you think you're doing?" "I'm looking for HeIga Aufschrey." "I'm a friend of hers from Munich." "You look like it, too!" "Do you know how late it is?" "9:15!" "Don't shout, you'II wake the neighbours!" "How dare you, at this time of night?" "Anyway, our HeIga's not in." "I am passing through." "Where can I find her then?" "I've no idea." "And now, clear off!" "I couId eat a horse." "She always can." "But DüImen's fast asleep, of course, the sleep of the just." "Except for Erna's." "well, ladies?" "Curry sausage, please." "Fried sausage with mustard, please." "One fried sausage." "Frankfurters, please." "sold out." "only fried left." "Fried then." "I'II be sick, after that ice cream." "This can't make you sick." "It's our speciality." "I'II treat you." "DorIi." "How much?" "Three marks." "I must be seeing things." "Hermann!" "HeIga!" "What are you doing here?" "Here he is." "Hermann from Munich." "I'm so glad to see you." "It's my back." "It's awful." "What's wrong with it?" "Show me." "It looks terrible." "What happened?" "I stood up to a policeman." "The one who broke your guitar?" "Did he recognise you?" "I recognised him." "alas." "Now I'm a wanted man in Munich." "How bad is it?" "Come to my house." "I have an ointment that'II help." "We should show your father, HeIga." "It might make him think for a change." "Forget it." "Are you hungry?" "shall I treat you to a sausage, too?" "I'm starving." "Better not then." "Maybe Marianne will make you some scrambled eggs." "It's so quiet here, it's incredible." "It reminds me of Schabbach." "I hope the twins are asleep." "Quiet." "Is your husband back?" "He can't be." "He's in basel, at a gynaecoIogists' conference." "Wait here, I'II see if the coast is clear." "Isn't she gorgeous?" "absolutely, I've got a crush on her, too." "A real Southern beauty." "Sometimes I think if I were a man...." "I'm big enough, anyway." "Go on, what do you think?" "I don't know her." "But your first impression?" "I see what you mean." "Listen to the city gent." "Very cagey." "Marianne is my best friend." "Except for you, DorIi." "But what are you doing here?" "Anything special?" "It was pure chance." "I was on my way up north, and I saw the sign "DüImen."" "And here I am." "I've been on the road for 10 hours." "Is there anywhere I can sleep?" "Grandma will be asleep, in my house." "What about yours?" "It drives me wild, it really does!" "Grandma's completely taken over." "Sitting in front of the TV, Iike the lady of the manor." "We can't go in there now." "We'II have to go to your place, DorIi." "I've got everything: martini..." "Cognac, almost the real thing... and a bottle of Châteauneuf-du-Pape." "May I call you Hermann?" "Of course." "I'm Marianne." "Look." "A lovely couple." "For heaven's sake." "I need some cigarettes." "could you lend me a mark?" "Sure." "I'm sorry about that night." "In the library." "still cross with me?" "Of course not." "It was just as much my fault." "Come on." "DorIi's place is pretty good, too." "We've had some good times there." "Great times." "I don't believe it!" "The cakes are all fake." "Just for show." "These, too?" "Fake." "AII fake." "Up here, there's a room for you." "It's all yours." "Like it?" "It's wonderful." "Great." "Fantastic." "What a relief." "Our pastry cook used to live here." "He was a bachelor, and played the piano all night." "Want to see?" "Here, just around the corner." "And nobody can hear us." "Take this." "will you hand me up the parasol?" "Our parasoI?" "Let's shade the light a bit, or we'II look like death." "HeIga, there are some candles over by the radio." "hold this a sec?" "Doesn't sound so bad." "Great." "You play beautifully." "See, we're all kneeling in adoration." "I couId listen for hours." "I've never heard you play classical pieces." "I was beginning to think you couldn't." "Funny, I'm hungry again." "Hermann, you must be starving." "AII you ever think of is food." "If you've got anything...." "Of course we have." "See, HeIga, I told you." "Artists are only human." "Let's drink to friendship, Hermann." "When you've finished, can I have a turn?" "This cream cake is the most famous in DüImen." "Come and try some." "It's our main attraction... even more famous than our ponies." "I haven't had cream cake for ages." "This must be half the shop." "There's plenty more." "Just for us two." "You'II be sick." "No, we won't." "Try some?" "No, thanks." "Why not?" "It's just the thing after fried sausage." "How's your back?" "Much better." "HeIga, come here." ""O man!" "Take heed!" ""What does the deep midnight say?" ""In sleep...." ""In sleep I lay." ""I woke from deepest dream!" ""The world is deep." ""Deeper than the day has dreamed." ""Deep its pain..." ""and deep its bliss." ""Deeper still than heartache is." ""Pain says:" "Die." ""But all bliss..." ""craves eternity." ""Craves deep...." ""Craves deep eternity."" "HeIga, what's the matter?" "HeIga, can you hear me?" "Here, DorIi, Iet me." "She's coming to." "What happened?" "Don't move." "You fainted." "Sit up." "Lie still." "She should get up now." "How do you feel?" "Say something." "A bit woozy." "Hermann, give us a hand." "Lie her down." "She'II soon be better." "I'm okay." "Feet up." "Now just relax, and breathe deeply." "Listen to me." "Keep still." "I want to go home." "It was all a bit much." "HeIga's right." "We should all go straight home to bed." "Any better?" "I'II take you home." "It's much too hot up here." "You're right." "I'II let some air in." "Can you walk by yourself?" "Sit here for a moment." "We'II say goodbye then." "We must go." "It was very nice." "But you'II stay till tomorrow?" "Of course." "Don't worry." "I won't let him go." "I'II lock him in." "For a brief moment, I felt everything was possible." "I was trembling." "Was this the start of something completely new?" "Freedom." "Then I was afraid." "I wanted to be alone." "At the same time, I wanted to be lost in a huge crowd... to be one voice among thousands... to have lost consciousness as part of one great cry." "That was the feeling I had." "So this is your room, HeIga." "Isn't it as if time has stopped?" "You can go now." "Marianne?" "Thank God you're here!" "How's HeIga?" "She's asleep." "Is she better?" "I still haven't got over the shock." "My hands are shaking." "Can I lean on you?" "Come back with me." "Grandma can't sleep on my sofa, luckily for me." "Sometimes I'm shocked at how much I can forget." "I forget my children, my house, my husband whom I Iove." "I really do, DorIi." "And yet, I'm always running away." "Your husband?" "He's just my type." "I married for love, as they say." "You can't imagine the things we got up to in Würzburg." "We used to lock ourselves up in the X-ray department... even in the loo." "Seven minutes later we were out, cool as cucumbers." "Seven minutes?" "I was a nurse then, in Würzburg." "WestphaI was married and the twins were on the way." "So he took this job in Münster, because his mother lives here." "Hasn't he got a first name?" "WaIter." "I got used to calling him Dr. WestphaI in public." "I'd still like to, really." "always, always, forbidden fruit is sweetest." "Why is that, DorIi?" "I thought you'd be asleep and dreaming." "Has Grandma gone then?" "I'II tuck you in and sit with you awhile." "Yes, it's me." "I thought so." "Come in." "I couldn't sleep." "I spoiled the whole evening." "You just sit down there." "Can I ask you something?" "You're so experienced." "Which is better... to do it the first time with someone you love... or with someone who's just good-Iooking?" "tell me." "Do you know anyone who's just good-Iooking?" "You ask crazy questions." "still, maybe I understand you." "You're very sweet." "But this crazy night had better end." "I know that he doesn't see me as a woman." "Even though I'm 23 today." "Of course... it's your birthday." "Happy birthday, HeIga." "Many happy returns." "Happy birthday." "They're devouring you." "Are you better?" "Watching you Iike predators...." "Look at that one in the fur coat over there." "Where?" "There, in the fur." "Cake-eating predators." "Why did you really come?" "I don't know." "Instinct?" "With a man's instinct, he knew that Fate awaited him in DüImen." "How do you do?" "Look, Hermann." "AII my fault." "When your mother sees that" "Something for Grandma to do!" "Women like you, Hermann." "And I Iike women." "It's starting to rain." "That's the Iow over Britain they've been promising us." "Hermann, the cake's getting wet." "What was all that stuff... about all men being the same the next day?" "What did you mean?" "We women have our secrets." "Me, too." "Happy birthday!" "We're here!" "Is it raining?" "Give it here." "This is Herr Simon from Munich." "Frau Aufschrey." "Now you're expected, young man." "I'II show you to your room." "Wash your hands." "Dinner is nearly ready." "Leave it to me, Grandma." "Hermann is my guest, after all." "Let's stay here till after the news." "My father's watching the riots again." "For the fourth day." "If we go down now, there'II only be trouble." "We ran away." "I feel bad about that." "Come here." "Why?" "...broke out when police arrested three young people playing guitars." "For the past four days there have been serious clashes... between young rioters and police armed with...." "Just look at that." "HooIigans." "TroubIe-makers." "unbelievable." "Look." "There's a girl, too." "Lock them all up." "You see?" "That's enough now." "Sit down." "That's really enough." "When is your birthday, Hermann?" "On May 29." "The same day as Kennedy, actually." "Now that's someone to live up to." "The image of eternal youth." "And catholic into the bargain." "AII right, Father, you can make your speech now." "But not too long, or the soup will get cold." "Dear birthday girl, I am delighted... that you brought us such a distinguished guest today." "It is one more tribute to your character... which we, your parents, have always respected." "Perhaps Herr Simon would Iike to Iearn a little... about our part of the country... and its language." "well, then, if I couId play as well as he..." "I'd give you a birthday serenade on the piano." "But we must not ask too much of your friend." "Herr Simon, I'd Iike to say that from the start... music has played a major role in this family." "Perhaps that's what our HeIga can offer you." "The soup, WiIIi." "You can tell him all that later." "Very well." "Then let's have a toast." "To our birthday girl... to our guest, and to Munich, the capital of German art." "That's good." "Kurt wild was in the café today with a gun." "He was waiting for you." "Rubbish, DorIi." "honestly." "I went up and asked him why he was looking so sinister." "He said he was going to shoot you... or himself, or Hermann." "Kurt's from the sawmill." "failed his exams three times!" "HeIga's admirer since they were 16." "AII right, we all know." "He saw you in the café today, kissing Hermann." "That's enough, DorIi." "Kissing?" "Where did he get a gun from?" "Who knows?" "Are you scared, Hermann?" "Hermann, what does your mother cook?" "What do you Iike best?" "well, we have potato dumplings in Hunsrück, too." "But they're much bigger, and filled with meat." ""RhineIand dumplings" they're called." "We call them "spud dumplings"... if you know what I mean." "I haven't had one for ages." "How did I get on to potato dumplings?" "My mother asked you." "well, we do have them sometimes in Hunsrück." "play something now, Hermann." "I'd love you to." "Come on, Music Man." "What should I play?" "What would you Iike to play?" "Something nice." "Do you have any music?" "Look in my room, on the top shelf." "There's some Chopin." "We'II clear up in the meantime." "DorIi, your plate." "Grandma?" "I haven't finished." "No ideas?" "I can't say it." "Daddy, I can't find it." "silly, come on, I'II show you." "Let's get it all done, DorIi." "believe me, young man, we have heaps of music." "Sad?" "I owe you something." "The mark you lent me last night." "Returned with thanks." "Don't worry about that Kurt wild story, Hermann." "It was only a joke." "I used to play all this." "For four hands." "shall we try that?" "If you say so." "darling Minka, a Russian folksong, that won't be...." "Not too fast." "Wait, it's not over yet." "Where's that other piece?" "HeIga, can I use your bathroom?" ""Come to me tonight."" "Don't cut into the flowers." "This must be from DorIi." "What's the difference between their cake shop and a public toilet?" "No, Grandma, there is no difference." "You have to be desperate to go there." "I know, there's never a vacant seat." "The person before you always leaves a mess...." "And when you're back outside, you're relieved." "Stop it." "How can you make such vulgar jokes against people?" "How would you Iike it, Herr Aufschrey?" "Hermann's come to see me, not DüImen!" "This shitty dump, with its stupid jokes...." "Watch your language!" "Is that what you learn in Munich?" "We've seen the results on TV." "I can't stand the hypocrisy of this place." "It's all right, HeIga." "I don't mind." "But, DorIi, you ought to mind." "HeIga, I'm dead tired." "I haven't slept for days." "You won't be cross if I go now?" "Of course not." "If I were you, I'd go, too." "Thank you for the cake." "I won't be cross if you all go." "Wait, I'II come, too." "I'm worried about the twins." "What a pity." "See you soon, Hermann." "Give our best to your husband." "He couldn't come?" "No, he's in basel." "What a birthday." "Thanks a Iot!" "Don't let it worry you." "We haven't given you your presents." "I want to be alone with Hermann." "Let's go up." "I Iove you." "Take me." "please." "I Iove you, too." "But aren't your parents angry?" "Forget them." "We must forget all about them." "I'II try." "Where did you get that?" "Do you Iike it?" "HeIga, open the door!" "Come out of there!" "Come out of there right now!" "I will not!" "I'm waiting right here, until you come out." "You'II wait forever!" "HeIga, she's still out there." "I can hear her." "I don't care." "But I do." "Just feel my heart." "HeIga, don't do this to me." "Go away." "You're drunk, Grandma!" "HeIga, I can't." "honestly, it's no good." "Goddamned bourgeois family." "Can't they ever leave me alone?" "They'II drive me crazy!" "You'd better go out now." "It's no good like this." "Shit!" "Don't lock the door tonight." "I'II come back when they're all asleep." "AII right?" "HeIga, what's got into you?" "Even when you're engaged, you mustn't do that." "Do what?" "Say it." "At least say the bloody word." "Hypocrite." "How can you talk like that?" "It's disgraceful." "You know... yesterday, when I first saw you, I said to myself:" ""Be careful, don't hurt him."" ""Don't hurt him"?" "You look like someone who's been hurt." "Long ago." "Your eyes have such a questioning look." "You were so shy when we met... so secretive." "tell me about yourself." "I'm 22." "My father died in the war." "I study music, and I don't have a girlfriend." "Is that enough?" "You're so gentle." "I Iove that." "So different from...." "From?" "You kept your eyes closed." "What were you thinking of?" "I've forgotten." "You smell good." "It reminds me of...." "I've forgotten." "I'm 1 1 years older than you." "eleven?" "Is that so bad?" "Not at all." "You look so shocked." "Do you know it, too... that feeling you get... that something has happened to you before?" "Sometimes I hear something or see something... and I'm absolutely certain it's happened before." "Maybe I've already been here... as an animal... or in another country... or in another century." "Your back is nearly healed." "Sometimes I feel like I'm being watched." "There was a room once, with a big mirror... when I was 16." "That was my great love." "It still hurts, doesn't it?" "Are you hungry?" "Of course you are." "I'II cook something." "I knew you were hiding something." "I understand you." "HeIga, I'm a very light sleeper." "Hermann, open up!" "He's gone." "A good thing, too." "Come back to bed." "Does anyone know you're here?" "How can they?" "Maybe HeIga's discovered I'm not in my room." "But how can she know I'm here?" "Let's forget it." "You're a dream." "No, I'm very real." "That's exactly why you're a dream." "Your husband?" "impossible." "He's at the gynaecology conference in basel." "The children will wake up." "They told me to give you this." "And you'd give me a mark." "Who told you?" "I'm not allowed to say." "Then you don't get the mark." "Scram." ""We know where you are." "HeIga and DorIi."" "It's for you." "For me?" "You're being followed." "HeIga loves you." "Do you think they're still out there?" "She could be hiding anywhere." "will she make a scene?" "I don't think so." "And what if she does?" "Is that what you call love here?" "You don't mean me?" "No." "Be glad you live in a big city, Hermann." "No one watches you there." "I envy you." "Don't ever come back to DüImen." "Okay." "Now leave." "I've started smoking." "But you don't like it." "You've gone all green." "That's my affair, right?" "You do what you want and I'II do what I want, okay?" "I'm your friend, that's all." "I'm going back to Munich." "For the first time in my Iife, I saw the sea." "I thought, "Just over the horizon lies england." ""And somewhere far beyond the setting sun, America. "" "Here, on the island the sense that I was looking... for something I couldn't name grew stronger than ever." "I understood how people could be seized by wanderlust... and leave their homes." "I had run away from Munich." "I had run away from my village." "I had run away from DüImen." "But I had a goal... hidden inside me." "AII alone?" "I Iike her best, do you?" "Have you been practising?" "See, real gold!" "shall we have a go?" "AII right." "Sit down then." "Listen." "Imagine... that all the notes... are women." "Young ones." "And old ones." "blondes." "And brunettes." "I'II show you something." "Okay." "After five nights of rioting in Munich... peace has returned to Schwabing." "police were out in force along the LeopoIdstrasse again last night... but no incidents were reported." "During the disturbances, more than 200 arrests were made." "Today, however, Munich's shopping street was back to normal." "police action during the rioting... has been severely criticised." "An official inquiry is to follow." "A low had come from Britain, across the North Sea, WestphaIia... the Hunsrück, the German low mountain ranges to the foothills of the alps... bringing us all cooler weather." "The rain that had drenched DüImen yesterday... now engulfed the streets of Munich." "The police had waited for the young rioters, as before... but they simply didn't appear." "On the fifth day, the Schwabing riots were rained off." "And that was that." "I stayed on SyIt for five weeks, and earned enough money... to buy the guitar." "Have you been waiting long?" "There's no one here." "Give me that, it's valuable." "I know." "Are you from the shop?" "I'm the owner." "I've come to collect it." "Here's the rest of the money, 1 25 marks." "No need to feel left out, Hermann... it's your cake we're eating." "We just had to open the package... it smelled so good." "Who's it from?" "It's postmarked DüImen, WestphaIia... from HeIga, DorIi, and Marianne." "Come on, own up." "There's a charming letter, too." "We didn't open it, that's not done." "Dear Hermann, Your DüImen women send you this souvenir" "I think of you." "Marianne" "It's a real Ramirez." "You've practised too much?" "And how's your work?" "Diversions." "Detours." "That's a pity, really." "THE SECOND HEIMAT" "CHRONICLE OF A GENERATION IN 13 FILMS" "6" " Kennedy's children" " alex 1963" "The crows cry out and wing in ragged flight towards town" "Soon, snow will faII " "Happy is he who has a home!" "Here you stand stiff, looking back for how long now!" "Why have you fled, fool, from the winter into the world?" "The world, a door to wildernesses, mute and cold!" "He who lost as much as you will rest no more." ""The worst things happen in the early morning"..." "alex used to say." "Outbreaks of war, arrests... railway accidents, executions... and "the exploitation of the working class. "" "alex didn't want to belong to that part of the world." "So he slept till the danger was over." "That was usually around noon." "alex was older than the rest of us... but he was still a student." "No one has read as much as he... not even his philosophy professors." "One of his sayings was.:" ""What use is knowledge, when you're broke?"" "This even impressed Maria, the waitress at his local restaurant." "She'd often give him some good hot soup... and let him pay with philosophy." "only alex could have managed that." "A few years before, alex's father had hanged himself in an attic in heidelberg." "The story was, he'd got into debt running a grill room." "It was his father, alex said, who'd coined another of his sayings.:" "What is a friend?" "Someone who will lend you money." "My gift is for the historical perspective." "For exampIe, I know exactly... what I was doing at 9.:30 a.m. on November 23, 1963." "I was deciding to put my friends to the test." "I remember exactly how it smelled in my flat." "My landlady had started her Christmas baking, and then gone out." "It was odd, because usually she left the kitchen door unlocked... but that day she didn't trust me." "I wondered whether, with my empty stomach... and my empty wallet..." "I'd terrify everyone that day." "It was the day that Kennedy was assassinated in dallas." "This event, that only happened in the evening, made the whole day... grow in our memories and assume a historical dimension." "Everything I did that day became linked with the assassination... though it hadn't happened yet, though no one knew it wouId... and though it could still have been prevented, now I think of it." "It rained all day." "Or rather, it rained in Munich." "In dallas, the sun shone." "If I'd been a Texan, Kennedy would have died on a sunny day." "But as it was... it was a grey November day, as described in so many German poems." ""The crows cry out, and wing in ragged flight towards town. "" "Nietzsche." "FräuIein CerphaI, too... seemed to see that this would be an unlucky day." "FräuIein CerphaI, good day." "AII through the storm last night, I felt that tree would fall on my house." "Stand back, there!" "Just imagine if it had happened... when one of my students was on the veranda." "They're mostly here during the night." "I couldn't bear to think of a young life in such danger." "It's like a sword of damocles or a tree of damocles." "tell that man up there to be careful." "Be careful up there!" "Now you can see how tall it is." "At least 30 metres." "You can hardly see him." "No, no." "Don't worry." "It's only 10 metres at the most." "Trees are alive, too." "Though they're like predators sometimes." "Predators?" "Isn't that a bit harsh?" "My maternal grandmother was killed... by a faIIing tree, in November, 191 1 ." "My family often tells that story." "She was a lovely young woman... and my mother, who was still a baby, was in her arms." "My grandfather... had just come home and she ran up to him." "He was such a handsome man with a magnificent moustache." "I have his photo somewhere." "And just at that moment, a gust of wind swept across the manor... and tore down the rotting old apple tree." "Before his eyes, this huge tree crashed down on the young lady." "And killed her." "One twig scratched my mother's cheek... and left the sweetest little scar." "20 years later, my father fell in love with that scar." "Without it, I wouldn't be here." "It all started with that apple tree." "It's November again, and I'm awfully afraid of this cherry tree, or whatever it is." "Can you believe that?" "Yes, I can." "I'm afraid that tree accidents may run in the family." "Things must look quite different to trees." "Suppose this one had seen napoleon... or your great-grandfather when he was a child." "It's a sin, what we do to trees." "My God, it's just what I feared." "Good morning." "What's going on?" "It smells like a print-shop in here." "Have you been sleeping in these fumes?" "They could be dangerous." "Herr Simon, do you have a headache?" "It's a good thing we woke you." "These are the posters for my concert." ""Traces ensemble." "New music by Hermann W. Simon." ""String Quartet for Absent cello. "" "That's a good one." "Very witty." "careful, they're still wet." "Because we secretly printed them last night." "secretly?" "At the Academy." "Without the director's permission." "So we had to take them home to dry." "They're very good." "This traces motif." "It intrigues me." "Me, too." "You can keep one, if you Iike." "Thank you." "As a souvenir." "What shall we do about this mess?" "shall I call a glazier?" "Yes, but at your expense." "We'II see about that." "It was cracked already." "As if!" "It was perfect." "Be careful." "Yes, yes." "Good morning." "Good morning." "Listen, could you lend me 70 marks for 1 4 days?" "Or 50 marks for 10 days?" "well, 30 marks for 5 days." "Herr Simon, if you want firewood, help yourself." "Provided that you work with us and chop the wood yourself." "tools are available." "Ever used an axe?" "I'm a musician, if that means anything to you." "He's certainly an artist." "He owes three months rent." "I spent the whole day putting up my posters on that November day." "It was so wet, they crumpled and wouldn't stick." "On November 23... we covered Munich with those blue and white posters." "Around noon, HeIga came to help me." "She was very quiet and got herself drenched intentionally." "I sensed that she was planning something dramatic." "I tried to ignore her mood." "It wasn't the first time." "usually she snapped out of her mood when she'd written it all down... and transformed her longings into poetry." "In the canteen I Iearned what the trouble was." "It was all in her diary." ""As soon as you realised that I only have eyes for you..." ""that I think about you night and day..." ""you ran away." ""You wanted all sorts of things from me..." ""but you were disgusted by my love." ""You were afraid of it."" "I'm not cut out for love." "You noticed that, didn't you?" "I want to be free." "Love is something that always makes you feel so guilty." "In November, 1963, I started my seventh semester." "I'd been here for more than three years." "Now I myself was one of the older students I used to envy so much." "I wrote avant-garde music and experimented with random effects." "It was "aIeatory music, " from the Latin word for dice." "To me, it meant something like fate... in a world without God." "Doesn't sound bad, does it?" "Let's start from the top." "You two at metronome 60... and you two at 56." "We'II wait till they're together and see what happens." "And when you come in, be dead serious." "It's a battle between those two groups." "Otherwise it didn't make sense." "Each on his own." "Right now." "No, wait." "suddenly I felt that someone was listening to me." "I hadn't heard her come in." "CIarissa." "It sounds great." "But no cello, guess why?" "Can we talk?" "I need money." "please don't ask me why." "But it's urgent." "Can you lend me some?" "How much?" "I have to find 800 marks today." "800 marks?" "You're not serious." "I've only got 70 or 80, and I owe three months rent." "I thought you might have some hidden reserves." "I don't know why." "Where have you been for two weeks?" "You vanished into thin air." "We're furious, do you realise that?" "Did you ever think of us at all?" "We were in the middle of rehearsal, the posters were nearly printed...." "We have to do it without you now." "I had to rewrite the whole thing, think about that." "I composed you out of it, Iike a vanishing act." "I only managed it because I was so bloody furious." "AII these years I never asked myself if I have friends here in Munich." "But you do now?" "It's about time." "Hermann, I'm having a bad time." "I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy." "I would really like to understand." "Later." "I'II tell you everything later." "But don't ask me now." "And don't be angry at me." "Sometimes you have no choice." "Why don't you ask VoIker?" "Or even better, Jean-Marie?" "His parents are rich, they've got a villa in Strassburg." "CIarissa, 800 marks, that's a fortune." "I wish you good luck with the concert." "I'II be thinking of you." "There are lots of good people in the cello class who'd be glad to do it." "I wrote the piece for you." "Nobody else." "I think you're the only friend I have." "I'd gladly have given you the money." "honestly." "There was always something to eat in FräuIein CerphaI's kitchen." "A piece of sausage, some cottage cheese... or Frau Ries' good gherkins." "But on that day there was only... a bit of stale bread... and some mouldy jam..." "I shouldn't have eaten." "hello." "Excuse me." "Does Hermann Simon live here?" "That's how we met WaItraud." "Yes, that was the day she first appeared." "Something like that can happen, too." "Someone comes in the door... and you know you'II see them again." "I believe I can predict such things." "There's an instinctive intelligence in us that grasps things... and flashes the message to us in a split second." "I felt a whole cascade of flashes... when I saw the little tour guide walk down the hall." "It would have been such a lovely surprise." "I am so sorry he's not home." "Give him my love." "I was afraid you'd bring the whole busload in." "Of course not." "They're Americans, from Idaho." "They're really nice... so sweet and patient with me... because I'm only a beginner." "They put up with everything." "Thanks." "Goodbye." "Where did you meet Hermann?" "We were at school together, till I was 16." "I must dash." "Bye-bye." "Goodbye." "She taught Hermann to kiss when they were 15." "By the river." "Her mother gave her his address." ""I've never forgotten you, WaItraud."" "It's a funny day today, eh?" "Put that back, alex." "It's not done." "Hermann never mentioned a WaItraud." "You all seem to know very little about one another." "personally, perhaps you're right." "But family, origins, that's all just pure chance." "What matters is what people think." "families are usually a sorry tale." "It was different, before the war." "You may be right." "But what genius ever came from a good family?" ""History is the triumph of the upstart."" "Good, don't you think?" "You could say that about hitler." "well, he made history." "If we deny that, we'II never be rid of him." "If I think about it." "We used to have such a stimulating life in this house, until recently." "What's happened to all your friends?" "Hermann says he had group fatigue, whatever that means." "It's individualism, the curse of our century." "Stop phiIosophising, alex." "You know, I've been wondering... whether or not to sell this house." "I've had an awfully good offer for it." "Let's discuss what to do with the house." "Why don't you ask your friends." "I am at a loss." "Did you know that every square metre here in the garden is worth a great deal?" "Do you play the piano, too?" "No, I'm at drama school." "Did Hermann tell you?" "I was shocked that FräuIein CerphaI wanted to sell the villa." "She was forgetting that hers was a historic house... historic because of us." "We were Kennedy's children, intelligent, young and free." "This was a day for fundamental questions." "And there's nothing like an empty stomach... to spur you on to ask them." ""Everything that is clearly known..." ""can be clearly said."" ""The world is everything that is the case."" "What's keeping him so long?" ""Even in a room of melody..."" "I don't know." ""...the world is faIIing to pieces."" "Aren't you waiting for him?" "No." ""Substance is what exists independently from...."" "Do you share this room with him, then?" "I'm just here to practise the piano, that's all." "I wish I had someone like that... who just drops in to practise the piano." "You know, I had a friend at home... but her name was Renate, too, so we stopped being friends." "You understand that, don't you?" "Yes, I do." "Can I tell you something in confidence?" "Hermann and I, we were very close once." "You know what I mean?" "You mean, you fucked." "I wouldn't have put it like that." "But I guess that's what I mean." "I haven't seen him for ages now." "You see, I met this man... who's a bit older, and I started meeting a different group of people." ""Thus the picture is linked with reality." ""It reaches up to it."" "You play beautifully, you really do." "My mother plays the piano, too." "Christmas carols... and Schumann's Dreaming." "I don't seem to have the talent." "But you studied law, didn't you?" "So Hermann did tell you about me." "He hasn't forgotten me." "I'm so happy, I'm getting hot." "I must take my coat off." "Are you staying the night here?" "I don't think so." "You mean you haven't decided?" "Which drama school do you attend?" "A private one." "I have a private teacher." ""The world is everything that is the case."" "Don't look at me like that." "I know I'm no beauty." "Wait." "Just a moment." "What a coincidence." "What are you doing here?" "Do you know what Wittgenstein says about coincidence?" ""The world is everything that is the case." ""The world is the totality of facts, not of things." ""The world is determined by the facts..." ""and by these being all the facts." Isn't that good?" ""For the totality of facts determines both what is..." ""the case and what is not the case." ""The world divides into facts." ""Any one can be the case, or not..." ""and all else remain the same." Great, eh?" ""The facts in logical space are the world."" "Speaking of facts in logical space... could you lend me 20 marks for a week?" "If you only knew...." "You'II get it back." "after eight days." "I'm sorry." "Okay." "Goodbye." ""The world is everything that is the case." ""The world is the totality of facts, not of things." ""The totality of facts determines..." ""both what is the case, and what is not the case." ""Any one can be the case, or not the case..." ""and all else remain the same."" "Have you got two vases?" "For the flowers, I mean." "I'II put them in the sink." "separately, okay." "I'm pregnant." "I couId have told you separately." "But that wouldn't have been honest." "I've thought about it very carefully." "I really don't know which of you it was." "But you can find out later." "I mean, it's possible to establish who the father is." "You could decide between us after." "What a strange situation." "I'm a 50-50 father." "Strange, that such thing existed at all." "You don't think I'm going to be stuck with a baby?" "I've signed the contract for the tour through France next spring." "You really mean to get rid of it?" "Have you found someone reliable?" "You know it's illegal?" "I hope you know what you're doing." "How much will it cost?" "I need another 800 marks, I've got the rest myself." "You mean, you want us to share it?" "400 marks each?" "As you Iike." "But it must be today." "I'II write you a cheque." "No, it has to be cash." "Do something, please." "It's taken me two weeks to fix this up." "I've got to go today, to a doctor in Rosenheim." "Aren't you afraid you might lose us, as friends?" "What's that supposed to mean?" "I'II pay you back, every last penny." "I'II be back in 15 minutes." "I'II go to the bank." "It's sad to end like this, with money." "It's the death of any romance." "VoIker, I can explain." "I just don't love either of you." "This is the perfect sort of day to die on." "salut." "What's the hurry?" "It's about to close." "What a coincidence." "Listen, I know your mother now." "Not personally, but I've read her book." "A towering woman." "PhiIosophicaIIy and musically, too, of course." "I adore her." "I'd love to have a mother like yours...." "Jean-Marie, wait, there's something I have to ask you." "I must get back, alex." "Can't it wait?" "I'm a victim of individualism." "A plague among us I fight continually, as you know." "But you've all disappeared into your little lives... and left me stranded." "I'm writing an article on Heidegger." "It's nearly finished." "I'II be paid next week." "I just need 150 marks to tide me over." "I know you're in a hurry, but" "If you're thinking of these 800 marks, they're for a friend." "For VoIker?" "I do help my friends, but not at all once." "It's too much." "But you're rich." "My parents are rich, not me." "Don't be naive." "I'm hungry." "I have something important to do." "We must face the facts." "Good afternoon." "Excuse me, are they making a film here?" "Yes, in there." "Stefan Aufhäuser, by any chance?" "Yeah, that's the name." "Just follow the cables." ""Rain never fails up." Brecht." "Listen, I can't just let anybody in." "600 people work here, It'd be complete chaos." "Look, that's the camera." "And next to it, Herr Aufhäuser." "Quiet, please." "When I think of that rainy day..." "I see myself in it as well." "I see how I changed, from scene to scene." "In this one I had, as it were, shrunk." "The wetness penetrated my coat, the fur lining... my jacket, shirt, and skin... to my vital organs, right to my solar plexus... and finally got to the moral level." "I had never been so wet." "What Wittgenstein had forgotten... were the conditions for observing any facts." "So wet and hungry was I... that it all just looked a dream." "Reinhard, Stefan and Rob, the friends, performed... in a film about film about film." "They were remote figures, gods ruling over an exotic crew." "Actors playing actors." "Costumes, equipment." "A vast contrivance that completely supplanted the real world." "Cut." "I had turned into a worthless frog, I hit rock bottom." "A beggar in the anteroom of Paradise." "Break." "AII extras over here." "No money for the tram, eh?" "Did we call you?" "Not as far as I know." "I'm looking for Stefan Aufhäuser, the director." "You mustn't disturb him now." "He's got a Iot on his mind." "This is a really tricky scene." "The actors, the extras, they're all done in." "And do you know why?" "The mental effort." "That's the hard part." "You'II have to show consideration." "would you Iike a towel?" "Yes." "Sabine." "Give that young man a rub-down, would you?" "Come over here." "Right, lads, that's it." "The dresser's over there." "5:00 is the limit, remember?" "When our lot finish work, anything can happen." "600 people, and they go out the same way." "So, 5:00, that's my last word." "Don't worry, Herr Bareface, no need to quarrel." "You know what I mean." "You're an intelligent man." "It's a very tricky scene, this one." "Load of nonsense, if you ask me." "I should have left straight away." "But there were these helpful hairdressers... undressing me, rubbing me down... getting me ready for a part in the film." "And all around me I saw signs of money." "You can say money's tied up, or ready, or easy... it can work for you, or jingle or burn a hole in your pocket." "Here, it was all dedicated to one end." "I began to realise what that meant for me." "What about BuñueI's Viridiana?" "What's dream and what's reality in that?" "Or in Zazie by Louis MaIIe?" "I've had it." "Let me remind you, this film was my idea." "The night we saw the Antonioni, I dreamt this scene... and there were no cuts in it." "I told you so, remember?" "Okay, then I'II insist on seeing my own scenes." "This script has my name on it." "That gives me a few rights, too." "It is my idea." "And the money and that comes together." "Therefore I have the say here." "I'm the director." "That was the agreement." "And the director decides." "Do Visconti or FeIIini let their writers butt in?" "Or Aufhäuser." "ArsehoIe." "Quit it." "You're forgetting the producer." "while you're talking, six actors... 25 extras and a whole team are standing around." "Have your discussions in the pub." "It's cheaper." "Herbert, that's a wrap." "hold on, we have to do the atmos track." "Atmos!" "See that strange tinge we've given the room?" "That's how it's done in film." "You may think it's easy, but that's where you're wrong." "It's very complicated." "And shall I tell you... what you'II see on the screen?" "Disintegration." "Now think about your nuclear war." "Quiet, please." "Atmos." "Nobody move." "Atmos." "Thank you." "Thank you." "hello, Stefan, I am a victim of your eternal individualism." "Me, too, alex." "Stefan, wait." "hello, Reinhard." "Listen, I'm broke." "Not now, alex." "suddenly money is no Ionger important, eh?" "Rob, you're my last chance." "Two directors, it's hell." "Stefan." "Don't make a scene." "We've got an hour, that's all." "You don't know a thing about money." "I don't?" "And after two days, you decide" "You can't just walk off the set." "I've never seen anything so unprofessional." "I want to make a film, not run a bloody seminar." "It's unbelievable." "Just decide one way or the other." "You make me sick." "I know, you want to direct, too!" "I forgot everything that happened on November 23, 1963... except for one thing." "That I met you at last, Hermann." "At the central railway station in Munich." "Where else would two Hunsrückers meet?" "God sent you there, I know." "At exactly 3.:40, he sent you to the railway station." "Take that look off your face!" "Hermann, don't you recognize me?" "Go back, five or six years." "The fair by the MoseIIe." "We left together, remember?" "We sat down on the bank and then I showed you something, eh?" "French kissing." "Schnüsschen, it's you." "What's that funny uniform?" "I've got a job doing sightseeing tours." "This is my first day, and I'm already taking off... the Iast five minutes." "Hermann, is it really you?" "Schnüsschen, what brings you to Munich?" "I'd forgotten what you look like." "Very nice." "older and wiser." "And you?" "You're a composer... what you've always wanted to be." "Let's go, we're in the way." "well, well, Schnüsschen." "Hermann, do me a favour and use my proper name." "call me WaItraud." "I'II never get rid of the Hunsrück, otherwise." "Who was that, Juan?" "A railway policeman." "Okay, meet Juan, my friend." "And this is WaItraud." "A friend from my youth." "That sounds strange, a friend from my youth." "As though we were ancient." "Hermann, it's so lovely to see you." "I must give you a proper hug." "Don't worry, no French kisses this time." "You must have a hug, too." "I come from the same place as Hermann." "One moment." "I'II be right back." "He looks great." "He always was a good-Iooking boy... but even here in Munich, he stands out from the crowd." "HeIga, what are you doing here?" "alex, hold me, hold me tight." "I'm going mad, I'm going mad." "What is it?" "HöIderIin's poems have become better and better." "It hurts so much here, inside." "You know what Spinoza says?" ""Pain is localised sorrow."" "Is it your heart, is it love?" "Love is just vanity." "follow my example... the example of a philosopher." "I'm free of love." "Now, you can help me." "How?" "What with?" "To get money out of olga." "She's my last hope." "I've helped her out three times." "First, in May '61 ... second in February '62, and the third time later that year... when her current copuIator walked out on her." "Where?" "Ah, here." "Dr. Hardon, how apt." "Hey, no germ warfare." "I'II leave in a second." "What kind of crazy place is this?" "You're both crazy." "You're soaking wet." "You're making everything filthy." "Go sit on the bed, alex... take your shoes off and shut up." "Come here, HeIga." "Here's the shutter, and this is where you wind up the film." "Don't touch, alex." "Just press the button... when I'm ready, okay?" "Like Waikiki Beach." "Go on." "Shit." "Hey, alex!" "It stops hunger." "Don't fall asleep there." "I have a visitor coming and then you have to leave." "Your dynamic young positivist?" "Shut up." "No." "It's the driver of the assistant... of the director of the film I'm auditioning for." "The pictures need to be in Rome by tonight." "In Rome?" "You're going to be in a film in Rome?" "Yes, they asked for my pictures." "But I don't have any, at Ieast none that would fit." "A film?" "What film?" "full Heart, Empty Pockets, something like that." "Anyway, I get to act with Heidi BrühI, on the Via Veneto." "Speaking of empty pockets, I have a question." "HeIga, come and help me." "Go away, alex." "Why are you here, anyway?" "usually you never come." "I know." "You need money, am I right?" "You're not wrong, comrade." "Don't "comrade" me." "I don't belong to your precious group." "I'm an actress." "Do you know what that is?" "perishable goods... for immediate consumption." "What have I got to sell?" "only my youth." "Do I have any choice?" "An actress is utterly dependent on other people." "Writers, directors, producers... they decide what becomes of you." "If they're crazy, you get crazy, too." "And if they don't know you, you are screwed." "I can't stand it anymore." "MeIodramatic seIf-pity." "Wait for me." "You've always felt so superior, HeIga." "Do you know why?" "Because you never take a risk." "It's easy that way." "And you, alex?" "You risk a bit more, because you're ugly and have no skills... except for reading and being smart." "Thanks." "To each his own." "Come on, alex." "We're going." "Let me tell you something." "We can't stand each other." "We just have some so-caIIed friends in common." "And why have we had this chance encounter on this horrible day?" "Because we've all had it, all three of us." "It's true." "You love Hermann, but you'II never get him." "He sleeps with you sometimes, but his heart is miles away." "He's one of those arrogant geniuses, Iike VoIker and Jean-Marie... and Reinhard and Stefan and all the rest." "AII they care about is their immortality... and they don't need us for that." "We're not geniuses, but we won't groveI, either." "If you played the little woman at the stove... and licked his boots and idolised him... then you might have a chance." "At least you recognise his genius." "That does you honour." "I'd almost call that friendship." "alex, you're no artist." "But you're touching, because you're not envious." "You have a kind of generosity." "Come on, I'II fry us some eggs." "Want some?" "I wouldn't say no." "pull yourself together." "Take off your coat." "You forget that I write poetry." "For Hermann to set to music." "You put life before art." "That's where we differ." "shall I tell you something?" "I'm going to leave this city." "And you know why?" "Because Munich is an illusion, a chimera." "A lion's head, a snake's body... and the backside of a bloody pig." "To buy a bottle of Chianti..." "I'd collected all the empties I couId find." "After a Iong cold and rainy day we wanted to get cosy at waltraud's." "A friend who travelled to America had lent WaItraud this flat." "It had central heating and a fully equipped kitchen." "At last Juan had a chance to show off his cooking." "Know what Juan's making?" "Empanadas." "Where are they from, Juan?" "chile or bolivia?" "Peru, I think." "But they're the national dish of chile." "Open the wine, Hermann." "I need a bit for the pino." "Ready?" "What a smell." "It reminds me of Christmas." "Christmas cookies, I Ioved those." "Cinnamon toast, remember, Schnüsschen?" "Sorry, WaItraud." "please, Iet me say Schnüsschen, or I'II get all mixed up." "You know my favourite dish at home?" "Spud cakes or stumpies." "Do you know that?" "From ages ago." "How'd your mother do them?" "Just a few drops." "With Ieeks or chives?" "We always had apple mash for afters." "Or pork broth... and then slap cakes." "Or spud dumplings or spuddies." "Remember that?" "Or dippIe apples." "Remember dippIe apples?" "What are spuds?" "You invented them." "They come from South America." "They come from there." "Potatoes." "Papas." "Look, the first batch is ready." "Fantastic." "help yourselves." "beautiful." "They really smell like Christmas." "I am really hungry now." "Be patient." "They are still very hot." "Let's drink!" "To the chef." "To the fact that we have found each other today." "What I remember most about that day were the smells." "The doctor lived near a spruce forest." "The foggy air smelled of petrol... and resin... and rotten leaves." "Four boys were pushing a car." "The exhaust fumes mixed... with the smell of the steaming wet pavement stones." "By the gate was a lamp... that smelled of charred cables." "And a rubbish bin... that gave off a stench of rotting garbage." "I passed the garage." "The smell of oil mixed with the ivy... and the wilting roses on the garden wall." "Even the iron gate had a smell." "It smelled of rust, and rain." "As I entered the house..." "I was engulfed by the fetid air of a cellar." "It smelled of damp plaster... of urine... and chloroform." "My own coat began to smell musty." "AII my senses were reduced to the sense of smell." "Get ready, please." "You can leave the money there." "Perhaps dogs smell things so sharp and clear... when danger threatens." "Come along, please." "Now, try and relax." "I couId give you a proper lecture about Munich." "You're obviously not interested... but I couId." "That church, for example, that's the Matthäuskirche." ""Martin Luther's Achterbahn."" "Hermann, are you as glad as I am to have got away from the Hunsrück?" "You are holding back from me, aren't you?" "I want to watch CIeopatra now." "Have you watched her move?" "Isn't it enchanting?" "That swing of the hips." "Even though she's from the Hunsrück." "But of course she doesn't sing... or write poetry, or play the cello." "Oh, Juan, if I'm really honest... if I told you what I really want...." "well?" "What?" "Right, this is my boss's ticket... this is his wife's, and I'm the daughter." "Come on up, don't be shy." "Have some soup." "It's leftover, because..." "we've stopped filming." "Stopped filming?" "It's a real shame, FräuIein." "Were you going to be in it?" "But where are Stefan and Reinhard?" "Not together, anyway." "Not after the ding-dong they had today." "What happened?" "You've made me curious now." "Soup for 57 people." "What a waste." "Looks delicious." "careful, it is still hot." "Have you seen the yellow film downstairs?" "Have you peeked through?" "Doesn't it make you think of nuclear war?" "nuclear war?" "And you should see the caretaker." "He's called Bareface, and he's a barefaced Fascist." "Let me tell you something, he'd be perfectly happy to say it all to camera." "But our two geniuses don't notice." "I've talked to him." "Just like that, 18 years later, he tells you... how he turned people in during the war." "I went to his flat." "What a smell." "floor polish and vinegar." "That's a film, right there." "A horror film, no yellow gel needed." "And he's called Bareface." "I swear." "What are you called?" "Renate." "What's going to happen to the film?" "I wanted to audition for a part." "See?" "They miss their client right under their noses, FräuIein Renate." "Life's wherever filmmakers aren't." "Yeah." "What a pity." "It's maddening." "I couId tell you stories that'd make you despair." "See, I get in everywhere." "Maybe because I'm only production manager?" "I don't know." "Anyway, we meet, and they show me their bedrooms, their family jewels." "You don't believe me?" "I can't." "well, listen to this." "They're re-opening the Opera House today." "And do you know what Bareface's grandfather did in peacetime?" "He was Chief Heating Engineer at the Opera House." "On steam basis, then." "WouIdn't our little Fascist be thrilled if we could go where he played as a child?" "Sure it's all modernised now, all changed, but it's the same place." "Right, Iet's see what you can do." ""O, holy staff, I would that I had never shunned the sword for thee." ""Had never heard, O, sacred oak, the rustling wind among thy leaves." ""That thou hadst never come before me, Queen of Heaven's high renown." ""O, take it back, I am unworthy." ""Take it back, thy golden crown." ""O, I saw the heavens open upon the faces of the blest." ""But earth alone contains my longing." ""In heaven I shall never rest."" "You won't Ianguish in obscurity much longer, I'm sure." "Oh, come off it." "FräuIein Renate...." "You won't be groping in the dark much longer." "Your gifts are wasted, too, am I right?" "alas." "Around 8.:00, I decided... to test the rest of my friends by telephone." "With the deposit from one milk bottle, and three beer bottles..." "I couId make six calls." "Perhaps someone still had faith in me... and would invest a little money in my future." "Perhaps I couId even wangIe an invitation to supper." "It's all yours, young man." "In the wallet there was one 100 mark note... two 20 mark notes, and one 10 mark note... plus a few coins." "No name, no address." "I couldn't get rid of the feeling that he had left it there on purpose." "How else could he have vanished so completely?" "Hi." "What have you done with your crew?" "I gave them crisis leave." "Pretty packed here, isn't it?" "Let's all scoot together a little." "Say, Stefan...." "I still owe you 40 marks, right?" "There's no rush, alex." "Let me buy you some soup." "Here, 40 marks." "Returned with thanks." "My God." "Did you bump off your grandmother, or what?" "Look, 150 marks." "A complete stranger gave it to me." "You see, it isn't always your friends who help you." "150 marks for an extempore translation of Pushkin." "A beautiful piece of poetry." "It was for an old man... in a telephone box." "He'd learned it from a Russian girl, when he was a POW." "He never knew what it meant." "But today he heard the translation for the first time, from me." "And it is?" "colon:" ""A friend is someone who lends you money."" "Pushkin." "See, Stefan?" "There are still a few people who believe in me." "Ladies and gentlemen." "We must interrupt the programme for an announcement." "I hand you over to Mr. hilton of Twentieth Century-Fox." "On behalf of the management, and as head of German Twentieth Century-Fox... it is my sad duty to make the following announcement." "I must tell you... that an hour ago, in dallas, Texas... the President of the United States..." "John F. Kennedy... was assassinated." "Kennedy assassinated." "Extra!" "Kennedy assassinated." "Death in dallas." "Extra!" "Why are you running like that?" "Where are you going?" "I don't know." "Come on, Iet's buy a paper." "Where now?" "I don't know." "HeIga lives over there." "We'd better tell her." "You go ahead, I'II phone my parents, then I'II come up." "HeIga, it's me, alex." "I'm sorry to wake you." "Can't you hear me?" "HeIga, comrade!" "The lines are all engaged." "It's hopeless." "What's the matter?" "She's completely out." "She doesn't seem to hear me." "What shall we do?" "She took sleeping pills." "We have to make her vomit." "Quick, help me." "Let's take her to the bathroom." "shall I call her landlady or a doctor?" "Just help me, it's got to come out." "Yes, good, wake up." "Out with it." "CIarissa, we've been waiting for you." "I have to talk to you." "Listen, CIarissa, you've got to give us a chance." "Chance?" "For what?" "Do you know what's happened?" "I need to be alone, I'm sorry." "How are you?" "Okay, I don't want to talk about it now." "We understand that." "You know where I Iive." "Let me help you." "well?" "She's gone through with it." "How do you know?" "She'd have been different, otherwise." "I wanted to help her." "She's so damn stubborn." "She'd die before she'd let you help her." "My father was just the same." "When he got ill my mother pretended to be sick, and terrorized everybody." "Not even the doctor suspected he was the one who was dying." "I blame myself." "About your father?" "We should have been more careful." "You mean I should have been." "Right?" "The trouble is, you don't love her." "VoIker, just be glad it's not worse." "Did she talk about Hermann to you then?" "When?" "In Donaueschingen." "Yes, he'd hurt her feelings, I forget now." "She was trying to provoke him." "You mean that's why she was so wound up on the way from the castle to the pizzeria?" "She was playing with us." "Herman was behind us with that italian soprano, remember?" "She was putting on an act because of him." "Out of jealousy, you mean?" "I don't think so." "You always look on the dark side." "She was exhilarated." "It had all gone to her head." "Remember, everybody was cheering for her at that concert." "Who wasn't in love with her?" "She could have had any man in the audience." "And instead she took us." "When were you the lucky one?" "You really don't have to know that!" "It must have been in that hotel." "VoIker, I want us to stay friends." "Stop it." "She only has herself to blame." "believe me." "The trouble is, you don't love her." "Stefan, HeIga, hello." "Back on your feet again?" "What a funny day it's been." "First...." "I am so cold." "...pineapple fritters at Edith's." "Then IentiI soup at the Picnic... and finally pancakes at Maria's... just like that, through the window." "And all for free." "I didn't have to pay a penny... though this is the one day I'm rolling in money." "Strange." "Jean-Marie, VoIker, hello." "Have you heard?" "My knees are shivering." "It's the after effects." "I'm so cold." "You'II feel better soon, you'II see." "I'm afraid I'm not too well today, I had a go at poisoning myself." "Poisoning yourself?" "I nearly made it, too." "I couId have met that handsome American president." "But alas, they wouldn't have me." "Stop it." "I'II leave you to it, then." "Why do I bother, can you tell me that?" "So you can say you did the right thing." "So you can say that you loved me." "Is Hermann in?" "I don't know." "Let's go and see." "I'm cold, too." "HeIga, you've got to drink." "careful." "Take small sips." "Drink." "What's wrong with her?" "She did something really stupid." "Stefan, come and taste this." "Come on, Reinhard's doing his goulash... with mild paprika." "mild?" "mild." "But that's FräuIein WaItraud." "How do you know, alex?" "I wanted to introduce her to you, but of course I can't right now." "Her name's WaItraud, WaItraud Schneider." "She comes from my village." "She does sightseeing tours in Munich... so she has to get up very early." "Strange." "A picture like that conceals more than it shows." "Truth is, Kennedy was having acute pain due to his intervertebraI disk." "He fights to smile though it hurts like hell." "Can you see it?" "Good evening." "It won't burn, it's too wet." "But it's nice and warm anyway." "A night like this makes you see what matters in life." "The Prime Minister left a banquet, to go and do... something more important, whatever that is." "The pubs are empty, but people haven't gone home to bed." "Are they huddIing together?" "We don't know." "Maybe Mr. X feels especially lonely tonight without Mrs. X." "When a great man goes, suddenly we know what we feel." "Am I right?" "bless you." "You want to see Herr Aufhäuser, too?" "No." "Can you set this to music?" "For a friend in need?" ""To lend money without interest is true charity." ""There is no greater good."" "An old Jewish proverb, 13th century." "Set it to music?" "Yes." "Here we are." "With mild paprika." "Look at Khrushchev." "There is a question in his eyes." "Love?" "Yes, the little fat guy is in love with the handsome Kennedy." "Amazing." "Despite Cuba, I never noticed it before." "Kennedy's death did three things.:" "We found HeIga in time and saved her from committing suicide." "I had a bit of money in my pocket again." "And after more than a year, we friends were together again, Iike we used to be." "What does Wittgenstein say?" ""The world is the totality of facts. "" "THE SECOND HEIMAT" "CHRONICLE OF A GENERATION IN 13 FILMS" "7" " wolf Notes" " CIarissa 1963" "Three years and three months had passed... since I had left Neuburg... to study music in Munich." "I had come a Iong way from my mother's house... and from the thrills of my childhood triumphs on the cello." "A long way from my patron, Dr. Kirchmeier... and from the good luck people had wished me... on my way to fame." "It was December, just before Christmas." "My tendonitis had flared up again... a widespread musicians' disease." "What is this compulsion... that drives us to practise for thousands of hours?" "What do we hope to find in those long soIitudes with the instrument?" "When I had tendonitis, I used a saltwater solution." "Hot saltwater, three times a day." "It worked." "It's just a suggestion." "Everyone has their own remedy, of course." "Sometimes I fought with my cello..." "like an enemy." "To me the cello was always male... with that deep voice..." "I was trying to speak with." "My old cello teacher said... on my sad and desperate days I should go to the alte Pinakothek." "Looking at the old classics would give me hope and strength." "I tried it for the for the first time now." "But my gaze kept turning inwards." "I felt as though a cold stone lay in the pit of my stomach." "I was afraid." "It was 1 1 days since I had seen the doctor in Rosenheim..." "EveIyne had recommended." "A back-street abortionist working his foul trade in some basement." "AII I had to do was wait, he'd said after the operation." "For 1 1 days nothing had happened." "I didn't want a woman's life." "I wanted to do things myself... not merely have them done to me." "For weeks I'd been trying to persuade CIarissa... that she could play the cello part in my Traces concert." "I'd dreamed of the two of us together on-stage... of sharing the applause with her and healing the pain... we'd had over my first cello concerto." "No Admittance After Start of Concert" "It was my first concert outside the conservatory." "AII the music was by me." "For the first time I would be judged by my friends and by the press... without the protection of my teachers." "I was very nervous." "Quiet, please." "What's that humming, Herr Wischer?" "A power line?" "AII I hear is boards creaking." "Who's walking around out there?" "I think it was me." "What are you doing here?" "Surprise." "Don't say anything." "Keep still and don't move." "If you ask me... it's the central heating." "Where's the heating, then?" "Everywhere." "They're warm air vents." "Right." "We'II have to check them, one by one." "If nothing else helps we'II have to turn the heating off." "well?" "I'II check round the back." "There's a gurgling here." "Here, too." "But that's not what I mean." "I don't hear gurgling, I hear humming!" "Maybe it's a ventilator." "Is there one here?" "I don't know." "Where's the janitor?" "I want to hear absolute silence just once!" "When I write a rest, I want silence, not humming." "Herr Simon, there's no such thing as absolute silence." "It's a physical impossibility." "call it what you will." "call it relative silence if you Iike." "Can't you hear what I am talking about?" "You're not being very cooperative." "Whatever it is is below the hearing threshold." "Whose hearing threshold?" "Yours or mine?" "Or do you mean people's in general?" "New Music is unthinkable without proper silence." "What's this cable?" "Where does it come from?" "Maybe... it's only the mains connection for the amplifier." "Maybe that's it" "Leave it alone!" "Look at your hand, Hermann!" "You can't conduct like that." "silence." "That's what I call silence, Herr Wischer." "It was your bloody amplifier all along." "Do your intro without my bloody amplifier, then." "And there will be no mike for the singer, either." "What is it?" "You're making me nervous." "Where's EveIyne?" "Now come with me." "Just for a minute." "There are people out there." "Yes, lots." "amplifier or no amplifier?" "No hum!" "STAGE" " NO SMOKING" "Just calm down for a moment." "But it's 8:30." "I have a surprise for you." "I'II wait out here." "No, you've got to come in." "To the ladies'?" "There's no one there." "Quick." "Wash your hands first." "See?" "Take your shirt and tie off." "What?" "I bought it just as they were closing." "I know it'II suit you perfectly." "What are you planning?" "Go and put it on." "What if someone comes in?" "Just do it!" "Go and stand guard." "Have you seen the photos of Leonard Bernstein?" "In all of his concerts he is wearing a jumper like that." "Even in the greatest opera houses." "When he plays the piano, too." "But I'm not a pianist." "Let me look at you." "You look great." "Keep it on." "No arguments." "It's a present from me." "I want to admire you." "Up there, conducting." "It really looks good, Hermann." "Thanks." "What about this?" "I'II look after it until after the concert." "well, good luck." "Come here." "Here's your ticket." "Have you seen HeIga and Stefan?" "Our new couple." "And immediately, writer's block." "If they're in love...." "He ought to make films!" "With you, comrade?" "Forget the "comrade."" "Good luck." "They were sold out." "I hope the seat is okay." "AII in black too, Hermann?" "I'm your widow." "But I'm still alive." "hello, Stefan." "Nervous?" "And how." "Have you seen CIarissa?" "No." "Good evening" "Just a sec, Hermann." "Listen, I can't stay." "I'm really sorry." "It's not envy or rivalry or anything." "Something's happening." "I'II explain next week, okay?" "I've got to go." "Good luck." "The first piece on the programme is called Sine NobiIitate." "Louder!" "Sine NobiIitate." "It is dedicated to an absent cello." "I mention this to avoid any misunderstanding." "Right." "Good luck." "Why had CIarissa walked out in the middle of rehearsals?" "Why didn't she say anything when she went?" "Why had she terminated our contact... just when we had begun to look forward to the concert?" "I was deeply hurt." "I took my despair out on the musicians, and refused... to rewrite the piece, or to find another cellist." "I wanted it to be a sign to her." "A gesture of disappointment and of pride." "So my String Quartet for Absent cello sounded deliberately... harsh and malevolent." "CIarissa, what's wrong?" "Say something." "Are you ill?" "Do you have fever?" "Yes, high fever." "Are you in pain?" "Don't move her." "Are you in such pain?" "The air in here...." "Can you hear me?" "It's suffocating." "I'II open the window." "Do you hear me?" "tell me what to do." "I'm calling a doctor." "Excuse me." "Don't go away." "I need you." "I need some personal data." "Since EveIyne had become one of our friends..." "I had composed a Iot of songs for her." "One was dedicated to Ansgar, our dead friend." "One day, Ansgar had sent me several of his poems." "They included this one, about the rocking chair... he liked to sit in, in the garden at FoxhoIes." "Once, sitting in it with a glass of red wine in his hand... he felt like Kennedy, and said.:" ""John FitzgeraId was right." "Rocking makes your thoughts more human. "" "Now, the President in the rocking chair was dead, too." "My rocking chair" "FaIIs backwards" "And with it" "fall the sky and the roofs." "Roofs red" "And getting drunk" "On sour wine" "My feet above me" "And the tiny files" "A dance with swallows" "Above the sea" "The falling chair" "pulls down the birch twigs" "And blue" "And longing" "Hands, life" "Death" "And mirrors mirror my gaze" "Oh, fall, oh, falling, no" "Oh, end" "End, end not" "Now it's I, and ever" "Ever I" "hell, I'm afraid for her." "It's septicaemia, that's to say, blood poisoning." "It's a generalized infection." "The symptoms are high fever... a racing pulse, and breathing problems." "I see here that the patient also has severe anaemia." "The cause was an illegal abortion which went septic." "Have you seen her at all?" "How is she?" "I've been here all night, but I haven't seen the patient yet." "Now, you will have to excuse me." "I'm needed in Emergency." "I still wonder how I got involved in this." "She'd come straight from you when she came to me." "Can you tell me why?" "She runs away from love." "That's the way she is." "But why?" "Why would a woman be like that?" "It's that damn cello." "It's either love or the cello." "She wasn't thinking of either of us." "oddly enough, I find that attractive." "Is this FräuIein LichtbIau's room?" "Yes, it is." "Can we see her?" "Not now." "The doctor's just visited and she is sleeping." "How is she?" "Better." "Can't we have a quick look?" "well, just for a second." "I've got my rounds now." "The applause went on for a Iong time." "I heard cries of "Bravo!" especially from my friends... from alex, HeIga and Stefan." "Frau Moretti... from Juan and Renate." "But one voice was missing." "CIarissa's." "I wondered if the others were just trying to console me." "When I met them afterwards, I felt dissatisfied and unsure." "That's EIisabeth." "She's dying to meet you." "You must all come back to FoxhoIes." "I've got some wine." "MoseIIe." "Home-grown." "We'd love to." "Put your jacket on." "You've worked so hard." "please spare me EIisabeth." "I can meet her another time." "But she's such an admirer of yours." "Schnüsschen hadn't only given me that sweater." "She had also been telling her friends that I was a star." "She was very sweet." "She knew that I was sad, and did her best to cheer me up." "She's taking all the risks." "I'm glad I'm not a woman." "I'II ask my father if he knows the head here." "It's best to go straight to the top." "Upper class." "shall I call you working class?" "VoIker, you're my friend." "You've got something to say." "musically, I mean." "Hey, what do you mean?" "Come." "Let's not lose our head." "CIarissa is a dream for me, Jean-Marie." "I'm mad about her." "I wanted to write a piece for her." "following in Hermann's footsteps." "Oh, yes." "How was his concert?" "The audience loved it." "And you?" "He's a sorcerer's apprentice." "Derivative, but talented." "A late Romantic." "What can I get you?" "Two daiquiris." "It's impossible to get through to you." "It's as though you are behind 1,000 panes of glass." "I'm a woman." "That's all I'm really sure of." "Do you ever think you're a genius, too?" "Pity." "Two daiquiris." "Hemingway's drink." "That's us." "Without faces?" "Dead." "Not yet born." "I want to get drunk." "The toilet seat." "Did you put it down?" "Yes, of course." "We've really stood Hermann up this time." "Do you want to stay tonight?" "I don't know yet." "I'm still wondering... if I should have started with you." "I'm always doing things I regret later." "Admit it, Juan." "I'm just a stopgap for you, too." "I shan't be here too long." "I'm only a visitor from a faraway land." "Did I take it or didn't I?" "I got our doctor at home... to put me on the pill." "That's good." "So you don't have to worry about me." "You know what I mean?" "Yes, I know." "We can't rely on you men." "No, you can't rely on us." "You are terrible, Juan." "You can't get anywhere in life, either." "You're just like me." "Do you think I couId become a decent actress?" "No." "You don't believe in my talent?" "But my determination." "Do you believe in that?" "And in the anger inside me." "Don't you dare say no again... or I'II chop you into little, bite-sized bits... and throw you out the window." "What do you want me to say?" "I don't want you to say anything." "I want you to go." "You are making me sad." "Everything about you makes me sad." "What a night!" "I don't understand it." "It's almost 2:30." "Where are they?" "It's like a conspiracy tonight." "Night after night, they keep me up." "And now, no one." "I Iike it like this." "Oh, that sweater really suits you." "I can still see you up there on-stage." "surely they heard it." "The end, for instance." "If I'd written it like this...." "That's a cadence, straightforward stuff." "It's banal, it's kitsch." "But the way I wrote it...." "It's a completely new world." "Have you heard anything like that before?" "I haven't." "My God, they can't have missed it." "Why should you care what they think?" "Forget about them." "You don't write music for yourself." "But your art is yours and yours alone." "I wish I couId take you in my arms and convince you how good you were." "You know what I'd Iike?" "For you not to care a bit what other people think." "I'd make sure you could work in peace." "There'd be like a moat all around you, Hermann... and I'd guard it like Cerberus." "Can you imagine?" "Just you and your music." "And you." "Schnüsschen, you're very sweet." "I don't know why I need their approval." "Maybe I just want praise." "Just like in school?" "Rubbish." "No." "I just want to be recognised." "They do recognise you." "And admire and envy you, too." "They all promised to come tonight." "And it's nearly 3:00." "Do you feel lonely?" "Maybe." "I can't bear that." "Come on, give me a kiss." "Let's open the wine." "It's from Kreuznach." "Do you know that area?" "We used to go there with Kurt's wife." "She's my favourite sister-in-Iaw." "Just look at the colour, Hermann." "Like gold." "It's beautiful." "Oh, I'm looking forward to it." "It's a bit of home." "Much too good for your snooty friends." "Just like your music." "Schnüsschen, you don't know a thing about it." "Don't be cross, Hermann." "I know I don't." "But you'II soon find out who your real friends are." "Christ, it's cold." "Why don't we go to Strassburg?" "We'II be out of harm's way." "You'II like it." "I'm staying till she's out of danger." "It was only a suggestion." "Think it over." "We ought to start working again." "Do you know how long it's been?" "Prophets of the new music." "And look at us now." "But at Ieast we never made any compromises in our music." "Never mix music and pleasure." "As for love...." "HeIga, stop this nonsense." "Come on." "Why did you come this far, then?" "10 stairs and you're safe and warm." "10 decisive stairs, Stefan." "Let's not pretend." "We'II get sick out here." "Sick!" "Sick, sick." "We're sick inside." "You're right." "But, if we stay out here, we are sick... sick in the head." "I've never been so close to your bed." "Right?" "Right." "Herr K visited a girlfriend." "On the second floor he stopped." "Today he would go no further." "You must hate me." "I'm here, aren't I?" "I've forgotten it all." "The concert, everything." "It's good with you, Schnüsschen." "Come on, you'II catch cold." "You've no idea what these intellectual women do to you." "I hate them all." "AII the women at the Conservatory... the actresses and poetesses." "Uptight career bitches." "I hate them." "I feel I've been wounded." "I know, Hermann." "Come and rest." "You know, I Iike it when you just lie on me." "I Iike it when you're really heavy..." "I know, Hermann, we have something no one else can understand." "We know the same hedges, the same trees and streams." "Do you know what I mean?" "We were children in the same place." "That's a bond." "Maybe we should get married." "Don't say things like that." "We've only known each other...." "Forever." "I have the feeling I've known you as long as I can remember." "I'd Iike to marry you." "But I know we shouldn't rush into things." "I'm through with those bIuestockings, anyway." "It's all right, we'II talk about it again, Hermann." "You've got a bit too heavy after all." "Come and lie beside me." "Go on." "When I see all those chic women like you..." "I feel small and ugly." "You need to style yourself a bit more." "That's all." "You could be much prettier." "I couId?" "I know." "We'II fix that right away." "Where are we going?" "You'II see!" "Schnüsschen had a gift for failing on her feet." "For her the city wasn't the world of wonders it was for me..." "Skin Care" " Massage Chiropody" " Radiotherapy but a series of practical arrangements." "After a few days, she'd made friends with my friends." "She knew immediately what it took to belong." "That's the owner." "Very nice." "It's not for me this time, but a new customer." "This is FräuIein Schneider." "pleased to meet you." "Is Frau Moretti in?" "Just for a consultation." "Rubbish." "Frau Moretti, are you doing consultations?" "What is it?" "Excuse me a moment." "Oh, my dear, don't you do anything for your skin?" "I wash with soap and cold water." "No wonder!" "And then you come here." "You see beautiful women everywhere on the streets and in theatres?" "I know how that feels." "And you feel like a little grey mouse." "Am I right?" "Yes, you're right." "FräuIein OIga." "I didn't recognise you." "Moretti must be getting old." "You look a bit pale today." "Sit down." "And those lines on your forehead, those deep lines again...." "What is it?" "unlucky in love?" "I make you as beautiful as angels but men aren't worth the trouble." "Have you noticed that the most famous men... geniuses, they have ugly, little wives... and homely little grey mice?" "Excuse me!" "No offence, FräuIein...." "Schneider." "And now I'II make you a real beauty." "Yes?" "Right, my dear." "You'II be so lovely, all men will be after you." "You won't believe it." "Trust Moretti." "Very, very experienced." "One on the nose." "And one up here." "And now Moretti's speciality." "Against those deep lines a Szegedin sausage." "It was mid-December." "Advent, and the days before Christmas... still reminded me of home, of childhood, and of family functions." "I tried to forget them all and I avoided Schnüsschen, too." "Just a sec." "When I heard about CIarissa..." "I didn't want to see anyone." "I made sure my musicians got the money, and I withdrew." "The coming end of the year was like a dark tunnel... we were all supposed to walk through... without seeing the other side." ""...of very different character..." ""which naturally evoke conflicting responses..." ""and at the same time ask just as many principal questions."" "The usual drivel." "Right." "It was mostly student tickets." "The rent's been deducted." "50 marks for our nude, leaving 945 for us." "Divided by six is..." "150." "150.57." "Right?" "For four weeks' work?" "What'II we do with EveIyne's share?" "Have you seen the paper?" "Can you carry on yourselves?" "And return the cashbox afterwards." "VoIker." "Hermann." "CIarissa is very ill." "I've heard." "From her landlady?" "Yes." "She has taken her to hospital." "Then you know everything." "Yes." "I can't hold it." "Somebody heIp" "My God!" "FräuIein CIarissa." "Is that your mother?" "Oh, God, what shall I do?" "I don't know." "What should I do?" "Where's the nurse?" "Go along." "Back to your room." "Thank God you're here." "It's her mother." "She collapsed." "It's all right, the nurse is here now." "Can I help?" "Just a minute." "Fetch Dr. AchthaIer." "My bag." "Lie down now, FräuIein LichtbIau, I'II do it." "What's wrong with my mother?" "I've brought your night things, FräuIein CIarissa." "And your sponge bag." "AII right?" "Thank you." "call Dr. HesseI to the patient." "Wait outside, please." "POST-OPERATIVE INTENSIVE CARE" "The aImost-father." "Don't worry." "Crisis like that are typical." "We have the infection under control and her temperature's back to normal." "Can I see her?" "Just for a sec." "What is the matter with my mother?" "She's fine now." "And you, CIarissa?" "Tired." "I've given her something to sleep." "You'd better get going." "And your washing things." "Frau LichtbIau, you mustn't go to your daughter now." "She needs complete rest." "The doctor said so." "Leave her alone." "I can drive you back to Wasserburg, if you Iike." "I've got a car." "You degenerate!" "If my daughter's dying, I want to be with her!" "Your daughter isn't dying, Frau LichtbIau." "What nonsense!" "She's not going to die, believe me." "Now you come with me." "Outside, in the fresh air." "That'II do you good." "STRASSBURG" " Christmas 1963" "That's all I couId find, sir." "My father's shoes?" "I found his sunglasses, too." "You think of everything, HéIène." "As always." "VoIker's in the dining room." "VoIker, we've found a few things for you." "Try them on." "I'm sure they'II suit you." "Come on." "I'II show you the view." "A fantastic pianist, your mother." "Hard to believe." "My beautiful stepmother." "She is only 1 2 years older than me." "Did you know that?" "I can hardly remember my real mother." "She died in 1944." "I was 5 years old." "We lived in Narbonne, in the south of France." "A few years ago... my father married the beautiful piano student from Starnberg, near Munich." "He could afford her." "Then it became a cosmopolitan house." "During the war, he collaborated with the Nazis." "That's the way it goes." "You don't like your father?" "I wonder where I got my musical talent from." "Maybe from the teachers in all those boarding schools, in France, switzerland." "I don't care about him." "Does that answer your question?" "Over there is Sesenheim... where the pastor's daughter, Friederike, lived..." "Goethe's beloved, when he was a student in Strassburg." "Remember?" "If I'd grown up here, I'd see things differently." "differently from me, you mean?" "I was the only kid for miles around who went to grammar school." "You were an insider, I was an outsider." "Because of your family background?" "I didn't have a family background." "I hardly knew my father, for instance." "I have no father." "And Goethe... is a Iong way away." "A legend." "What are you looking for in clarissa?" "CIarissa is like me." "With that mother she's always known some things just have to be borne." "I understand her and know that she also would understand my thoughts." "Be careful!" "Love's made up of so many feelings." "Most of them aren't that hard to understand... and pretty shameful when you do." "We're too alike." "That's the trouble." "May I stay here for Christmas?" "Of course." "Two minutes." "I have to stop." "shall I take your rucksack?" "Everybody must carry their baggage themselves." "I have to do the rest without help, too." "It is all a question of attitude... whether a woman is weak... and not of her nature." "I will never allow a man to provide for me... as other women usually do." "You can rely on that." "How do you mean?" "politically or sexually?" "sexually." "hold me." "Make love to me." "Now." "This minute!" "HeIga, you're just enjoying my weaknesses." "Make love to me." "I only do it in church." "On principle." "Or in the cinema." "Like in Ingmar Bergman's The silence." "But not in the back row." "Right down in front, where everyone can see!" "would you dare?" "That's a funny question, considering we haven't done it at all yet." "For me, the best place would be a tower." "Where you can see for miles around the town!" "Such towers only existed in the middle Ages." "Those were prisons." "I'm not a jailer, or a torturer, either." "Get up, now, you'II catch cold." "This is the wrong way, anyway." "We should have kept further right." "The snow's not so deep." "I doubt we'II escape German Christmas... even up here." "well?" "Do you Iike it?" "Bunks." "A stove." "I'II get a fire going." "I've got an awful Christmas feeling already." "It makes me want to scream." "What's this sinister smell coming from your rucksack?" "Christian consumerism, even up here." "Later...." "For weeks, I've had this feeling...." "It's driving me mad." "I don't know what it is." "We're all fixed up." "From my mother." "A candle, for Christmas Eve." "It's not political or sexual." "It's something else." "But what?" "Stefan, I have to find out!" "I've been thinking about near and far." "This hut, for instance." "From far away, it looked near." "But now, now we're here... it seems miles away." "HeIga." "This is a fire." "This is a hut and this is a table." "This is a chair." "I'm a man, and you're a woman." "That's how simple things can be!" "A fairer blush shall veil thy cheek" "shall veil they cheek" "Make haste thy heavenly spouse to seek" "Here's to drink." "I'm sober." "I've never been more sober." "I'm watching you." "Your movements are hasty... your eyes uncertain." "You have red spots on your chest." "You don't know what to do." "You're wondering if you should take me by force." "You're thinking, "If only she'd shut up."" "Your expression is hateful, soon you'II put your trousers back on." "You're thinking this is no good." "Be quiet." "You must have me, but I'm completely sober." "Shut up." "Take me." "I'II scream." "Be quiet!" "Christmas in hospital... a farce directed by the night nurse." "A Christmas tree, a record-pIayer in the corridor." "A sudden stillness in that noisy place." "In my room, a mother with a new baby." "So that I'm not spared the joys of motherhood." "while I'm still feverish, I start MusiI's The Man Without qualities." "I imagine the life of that other CIarissa." "An enigmatic woman with the same name as me." "The slowness of the novel is as lonely... as the slowness of recovery." ""Eyes." "She sees so many eyes." ""She has so many human experiences." ""She realises that people's souls speak through their eyes." ""blue, fidelity." ""The feminine." ""Brown, infidelity." ""The masculine." ""Green, duplicity." ""The serpent." ""black, devil and angel." ""Love." ""Grey, cold, calculating." ""Eyes of mixed colour are the most interesting." ""BIue-green.: feminine guile." ""Brown-grey, masculine guile." ""Brown-bIack..." ""devilish infidelity." ""CIarissa's mind in the grip of madness." ""Five." ""Each pure colour has its own symbol." ""Red, the diabolical." ""black, the devil himself." ""When they believe they are possessed..." ""they take fright at their own faces. "" "At their own faces?" "At their own faces." ""Green, expectation of redemption." ""White appears dirty." "Does not exist." ""Or else, elevation to the Kingdom of Heaven." ""She does not believe in blue. "" "She does not believe in blue?" "LichtbIau." "She does not believe in blue." "Merry Christmas." "Merry Christmas!" "Look at my present!" "It's lovely." "And these sweets, too." "Great." "Can you please tell me my daughter's room number?" "What's her name?" "CIarissa LichtbIau." "Room number 93 on the 2nd floor." "93, 2nd floor." "The sacrifices pleasing to God... are a troubled spirit... a troubled, mortified heart." "Isn't he sweet?" "What a surprise!" "You murderess!" "That's enough." "I can't bear any more!" "Good evening." "I'm sorry to disturb you." "Is Jean-Marie Weber at home?" "Monsieur Weber is not here." "He's spending Christmas in Strassburg." "I see." "Merry Christmas." "I've run out of coal." "It's pretty cold in my house." "You're alone?" "I was miles away." "Somehow I thought everyone would be here." "Juan, Renate, Stefan and HeIga." "Maybe your girlfriend, too." "What's her name again?" "If you're looking for VoIker, he's with Jean-Marie." "Didn't you know?" "In the lap of luxury." "CIarissa, are you really well again?" "I couldn't stand it in the hospital any more." "It's the first time... you've come to see me." "alone, I mean." "Aren't you celebrating Christmas?" "I haven't been home for three years." "That's over and done with." "Quite right, too." "Good for you." "We'II need a fire." "You'II stay a while?" "If you want me to." "I have an idea." "I'II be back in a sec." "Sit on the bed, if you Iike." "What's happened?" "I just wanted to warm the place up." "Damn it, I think I've hurt myself." "It's full of rusty nails." "You're bleeding." "Show me." "Have you got a first-aid kit?" "It's dripping on the carpet." "What will I do?" "Wait, I have an idea." "Wait." "Here, use this." "Let go!" "Have you got a handkerchief?" "There, in the top drawer." "Let's see." "Move your fingers." "It doesn't hurt." "Can you feel that?" "I can feel you." "No harm done, I think." "I'II put a new dressing on later, and take a closer look." "I thought of you often." "I nearly died, Hermann." "You were incredibly far away... for such a Iong time." "I wasn't myself any more." "You know how I Iove my freedom." "Can you understand at all?" "Men don't go through these things." "I may know more about them than you think." "I think I'm more afraid of love now than I was before." "Yet everyone still loves you." "That's not going to change." "VoIker still wants to marry me." "What would you do if I got married?" "What?" "Are you serious?" "Me and Schnüsschen." "In the spring, maybe." "Then Christmas has broken out after all." "Have you got a cigarette?" "You won't get rid of me that easily." "I don't want to get rid of you." "My mother has taken over my room." "She's sitting there like judgement day." "She utterly cursed me." "I don't dare go back there." "Do you know that she absolutely cast me out?" "I'm terribly tired." "You can sleep here, if you Iike." "Where do you sleep?" "You can stay in the library." "Your Iove-nest." "shall I leave you alone now?" "What's happened to us both?" "We're always against everything, and then we do it anyway." "Do you love her?" "I think so, yes." "It's as though I always have." "I'II manage." "Good night." "bloody Christmas!" "Don't you say that." "Why is it so hard to be happy?" "Now we're both ill." "We were always ill, when we loved each other." "I'II always love you." "I run away from you." "I always run away from you, Hermann." "Why?" "And I run away from you." "What's wrong with us?" "We're mad." "We must be like brother and sister... we're so wounded." "I'm your wolf and you're my wolf." "Give me your bad hand." "I keep thinking of my blood flowing into your pad." "With us everything is the other way round... from everyone else." "I'm like you." "And I'm like you." "Are you jealous?" "would you marry me?" "Never." "Never." "We've never fallen asleep together." "Yes, we have." "Often, in our dreams." "One wolf" "Lay beside the other" "And there was no" "Gnawing" "And there was no" "CIawing" "And no" "Loving" "And no" "Possessing" "And they were tender" "To each other" "The wolves" "THE SECOND HEIMAT" "CHRONICLE OF A GENERATION IN 13 FILMS" "8" " The Wedding" " Schnüsschen 1964" "Here you are at last!" "Can we say happy new year?" "Not yet." "Five minutes to go." "I was so worried, I haven't drunk a single drop." "Now, now, Mother!" "Come in, quick!" "I can't imagine spending Christmas anywhere but home... and my whole family is the same." "So I said so long to the city... and came home to the Hunsrück." "My six brothers are all married... but that never stops them coming home for Christmas." "They just bring their wives and kids." "So the house is fabulously full." "With all the aunts and uncles, in-Iaws, cousins and brothers... we're 26 grown-ups and 17 kids." "Cheers, Dad!" "It is almost 1 2:00." "I will turn on the radio." "Nine, eight, seven, six... five, four, three, two, one." "1964." "Our youngest, my sister-in-Iaw HiIde's babe... is only four days old." "But he will get his presents, too." "No one's left out of family gossip, either." "You get everyone's new acquisitions, their hire-purchase agreements... their children's illness." "Seeing my family... keeps me going for the whole year." "I will see what Dad's up to." "How is the rheumatism, Dad?" "You get used to it." "You are still my best girl, you know." "And I went the furthest away." "But you will stay a few days, I hope." "No, Dad, I do not want to miss anything in Munich." "I was the only one who was still unmarried." "So the questions never stopped." "Wasn't I in love?" "Didn't I have a sweetheart?" "When would I have a baby, and why was I keeping so quiet about it all?" "I wanted to go straight back to Munich." "That immediately made people think there must be a man in my Iife." "And maybe they could say I was in love." "I had a Iot of time to think." "Munich was where my fate lay." "And I thought in May, in the sweet month of May... it wouId have to be decided." "Won't you tell me what's wrong?" "This country is without pity and without joy." "Where have you been?" "In Oberstdorf." "I've been travelling for three weeks." "First I was in Neu-UIm, with Renate and her family." "Then other places, from hotel to hotel." "You've always been a loner." "There's something about you I can't fathom." "I am different from the rest of you." "Juan, you must decide." "You keep doing things that don't get you anywhere." "Why learn Chinese?" "Are you going to China?" "Why see Renate?" "Do you want to live with her?" "You have so many talents, I am jealous." "But you don't use them." "people need someone to fall back on." "I mean, someone to turn to... whose opinion you trust." "You all have that." "You have your family." "Hermann has his concerts, his reviews, his teachers." "Stefan, Reinhard, and Rob have their film company." "They are always broke." "That doesn't matter." "people talk about them." "They know who they are." "But you are much better than them." "You've seen the world." "You are special, believe me." "I am no one." "A wine without a label." "Nobody would notice if I disappeared." "I have so much strength in me... enough for you all." "You can always turn to me, I promise." "At the travel bureau I had a really nice colleague." "Her name was EIisabeth." "She helped me settle in the city." "She was born and bred in Munich, so she knew the ropes." "especially about flat hunting." "I had to find a flat soon, because the friend who'd lent me hers... wanted it back." "I wanted somewhere seIf-contained, and was willing to pay for it." "But sometimes, the Munich rents made me lose heart." "elisabeth gave me moral support, and new tips everyday." "You know what I'd Iike?" "A flat like yours." "How did you find it?" "Just luck." "My father had helped the owner." "He works in a bank, a money man." "But we need him, rolf earns nothing." "Won't he be a doctor?" "I do love him, he's my great love." "But he's so impractical and sensitive." "still he's great with the kids." "Is that why you do the tours?" "I was just fed up at home." "I do a Iot of photography, too." "I noticed." "You are great." "You know what?" "I admire you." "I am proud you're my friend." "But I am very selfish." "My father always says so." "You know what?" "By the time we get there, the flat will be taken." "Let's go for coffee instead." "That was fun." "Did you Iike it?" "The kids love you." "I Iove them, too." "shall we ask WaItraud to stay?" "Can she bring her boyfriend?" "Is he nice?" "He is an artist." "They don't care about that." "But I do." "In other words, there's this garden party on Friday..." "and we were wondering" "Of course I'II come." "shall we have another ride?" "Hermann didn't realise how I'd centred my Iife around him." "His friends were my friends." "Even the women, who liked me less at first... because they had all been in love with him, too." "But I held all the cards, as Hermann had said." "We were both from Hunsrück." "I haven't been back for nearly four years." "And I shan't go back, either." "I don't see why, Hermann." "Your mother's very sad about it." "Why are you so stubborn?" "In some ways you're still a pig-headed peasant." "I have to go my own way." "The Hunsrück, my mother, my family...." "It's all just chance." "Can you tell me where my taste for music comes from?" "You know what I think?" "That you have to give birth to yourself, all over again." "Doesn't it make you feel awfully lonely?" "Who can you tell... when things are going well or badly?" "When you're proud of something, or have done something special?" "For me, it's part of the pleasure to tell my family everything... especially if it's good." "Have you told them about me?" "So far I've only hinted." "Sometimes I can forget my childhood for months on end." "But I remind you, don't I?" "You know, your Hunsrück dialect." "I can't stand that, when I'm in love." "It's like a cold shower." "Then we'II speak proper German." "SpreCHen." "I Iove you." "I Iove you." "Again!" "Now tell me it sounds better in dialect." "We wouldn't say it in dialect, anyway." "With you, it's like I've never been away." "I'm not sure I Iike this idea." "In someone else's flat...." "You'II see, elisabeth's children are awfully sweet." "The children, and when do the parents get back?" "Not before midnight, for sure." "It's so quiet." "The children are asleep." "Come and have a look at them." "Aren't they sweet?" "Look at their little faces." "But we mustn't wake them." "That'd be the end of our peace." "Kids can create havoc for hours." "believe me." "They may look angelic, but they're worse than a hundred grown-ups." "I bet you were like that." "Come and see that kitchen." ""hello you two." ""The party won't end before 2:00." ""There's plenty to eat and drink in the fridge." ""Use the samovar for tea." ""We've told the children." ""Enjoy yourselves." "elisabeth and RoIf."" "Is this the samovar?" "Can you start it?" "Do you know how it works?" "It's so nice to hear the water bubbling... and to sip hot tea out of those cups." "I'd prefer some of this wine and cheese." "Wait." "Let's eat in a civilised fashion." "CiviIised?" "Come on." "What's this?" "elisabeth's darkroom." "Living room and bedroom in one." "elisabeth loves Japanese design." "Let's take our shoes off... the Japanese way." "If you say so." "Has she been to Japan?" "But you can learn a Iot from them." "Isn't this nice?" "Yes, Japanese." "During the day the bed turns into a couch." "And in the evening, elisabeth says... up to twenty people can sit on it, at a party." "And that chair?" "Isn't it a perfect flat?" "Whatever you need, it's here." "Look at the records, for instance." "There's something for every mood." "Now, if your pieces were on record, Hermann... they'd be here for sure." "If you ever do make a record..." "elisabeth knows a designer... who can do the cover for you." "She said to tell you." "There's a Iot of rubbish, too." "The beatles, they're good." "Put them on, or don't you Iike them?" "Let's eat on the same side." "Your tongue's all sour from the wine." "Let's try that again." "We must wash it right away, or the stain will never come off." "Leave me alone a minute." "Where did you get that?" "It must be hers." "Let's have a look." "Isn't it wonderful?" "wonderful." "We've woken the children." "What is this?" "Once upon a time, there was a poor little crippled girl... who could never go out." "He went back to sleep the moment he smelled his mother's perfume." "He touched her negligee and he was off." "It's a real discovery." "We should pass it on to all babysitters." "It was so sweet, the way he smelled me." "It gave me gooseflesh." "Look, I still have it." "Do you think this perfume suits my natural smell?" "Here there's only your natural smell." "I am getting goosefIesh again." "It feels like sandpaper." "That is not very flattering." "Is it really safe here?" "They could be back any minute." "What if someone comes in?" "They won't." "I don't know." "Look... isn't that nice?" "It smells very strongly of her here." "Do you Iike it or don't you?" "I almost couldn't breathe then." "Do you love me?" "Want some more wine?" "What's that?" "A nightcap." "shall we try it on?" "If you Iike." "Can you feel it?" "No, can you?" "only you." "The music's driving me mad." "Stay there, I will turn it off." "I hope this won't wake the kids." "Don't worry." "Who are you?" "That's Hermann." "And you?" "I am RaouI." "RaouI, go back to bed, it is late." "I've lost my nightcap." "Where is it?" "I don't know." "Let me out." "It's damn dangerous, your nightcap." "Into bed, both of you." "I will come in a moment and tell you a story." "The search was not in vain." "Never to love again." "Come on, I will tell you my story... and you can smell Mummy's perfume." "Eyes closed." "It took ages this time." "It's really a beautiful flat." "If you're tired, sleep a bit." "should we disturb our babysitters?" "It's 2:30." "They are asleep." "Are you tired?" "A fabulous party." "Simon." "How do you do?" "Stay if you Iike." "Did the kids leave you alone?" "almost." "I bet it was RaouI." "He's like you, rolf." "Inquisitive, even in his sleep." "I'm an admirer of yours." "You're a real artist." "You don't have to say anything." "We'II sleep in the kids' room." "Good night, WaItraud." "Thanks for everything." "My heart's pounding." "Go back to sleep, Hermann." "Isn't it lovely here?" "I want it to be like this forever." "It's like home." "Without going home." "See?" "Like a child." "Come here, Iet's cuddle up." "Are you asleep?" "Good night." ""Dear CIarissa..." ""I have just..." ""been dreaming about you."" "Turn around." "Have you been there all along?" "I dreamed that I came to see you." "I've just been dreaming about you." "Now I'm glad to hear your voice." "Doctor!" "please, help me." "Now, try and relax." "AII right?" "Did you sleep well?" "Yes, but I had too many dreams." "Whatever you dream on the first night comes true." "And there was no possessing" "And they were tender" "To each other" "The wolves" "The wolves" "I must pop in for a second." "What if they all want to get out?" "Let them!" "For three years, I'd been FräuIein CerphaI's Iodger." "The circle of friends now revolved around me... at Ieast, around me as custodian of foxholes." "I'd soon got used to the villa's rhythm." "AII night, the friends coming and going... discussing art, politics, music... and revolution." "And all day, a somnolent stillness." "The silence of an afternoon nap... broken only by my experiments at the piano." "I was trapped in this routine... and yet felt no need to run away." "I'd always run away before, but not this time." "Perhaps I even liked being trapped." "Who is it?" "Guess." "I had to pull a fast one to get here!" "My bus is outside." "Hermann, there's something I have to talk to you about." "Are these all friends of yours?" "Yes, relatives." "relatives?" "I wish I knew." "These are Americans from Wyoming." "I must work." "You know I can't at night." "An interruption like this costs me half a day." "That's why I'm looking for a flat." "Imagine being free of all this rumpus." "You could get down to some real work." "Right." "Frau Ries, this won't happen again." "I just had to talk to Herr Simon." "That's all right." "Come here a moment!" "What is it now?" "Come to the letting agents with me later." "I've made an appointment for 5:00." "The thing is, they only take married couples." "But we are not married." "Never mind." "We'II say we are." "They won't be able to tell we're only lovers." "What did you say it costs?" "180 marks?" "That's nothing!" "I pay 100 here." "Hermann, I'm so happy." "I can't concentrate on work." "Can you?" "I keep thinking of you." "Cooing, wooing, wedding." "That was a strange invasion." "Have you ever been to America?" "Pity." "Have we any plans?" "Great!" "Are we late?" "And you are the husband?" "The husband-to-be." "Your profession?" "Sources of income?" "I'm a musician." "Sign here." "That's our young family." "That's not strictly accurate." "My fiancé is a composer." "He studied several instruments." "That's obligatory, but he doesn't play them himself." "He's not...." "Not a performing musician." "He works out music in his head." "Composing makes no noise." "You see what I mean?" "Perhaps you've heard of perfect pitch." "When you can sing along, right?" "well...." "Not really." "I can explain if you Iike." "I'm afraid I'm no expert." "My son and I... our whole family, in fact, is unmusical." "We can't sing a note." "We croak like ravens." "Are you from a musical family?" "SoIoists and performers often are." "VioIinists, pianists... they usually grow up in a musical tradition." "Composers are different." "We often come from unmusicaI families." "That makes us freer to break with musical tradition." "Perhaps you read about the concert... my husband gave." "I mean, my fiancé gave... in Goethe hall last winter?" "Do you read the Munich Merkur?" "Won't we have a vacancy in july?" "Is it a profession with prospects?" "I'm quite confident about our prospects." "I still have to work a bit now, but we're only young." "What do you do?" "I'm a travel guide." "Then you're away for long periods of time?" "I'II make sure that doesn't happen." "I'm very fond of my husband." "Are you fond of children?" "Yes, of other people's." "We need to know if you can count on a steady income." "That's crucial." "We want tenants who can commit themselves to a Iong-term lease." "Composers rarely have permanent jobs." "We don't want them, we prefer freelance work." "But commissions can be very lucrative, from radio stations, for instance." "I'm sure you know Southwest Radio." "They commission a Iot of new music." "So do West German Radio, Radio Free berlin." "Bavaria Radio rather less." "Then there are the opera houses, the city orchestras... and independent ones." "Not to mention the record industry... film and television, and advertising, if you Iike." "well, well!" "Did you know that Georg?" "But aren't you still a bit young?" "I'm 24." "By that age, Mozart and Schubert were geniuses." "But poor, and unable to pay their rent." "well, things have changed, in this day and age." "When's the wedding?" "Have you put up the banns?" "Just today." "We'II need proof of marriage." "A copy of the certificate will do." "Then we'II sign." "One more thing, Frau Schneider." "We'II need to see your last wage slip." "Make that out, please." "The deposit is 1,500 marks." "Can you manage that?" "Yes." "When can we move in?" "july 1 ." "That's the best we can do." "congratulations on your marriage." "I envy you." "I mean it." "well?" "May I take you out for supper, Herr Fiancé?" "Are you crazy, Frau travel Guide?" "Why not?" "I'm rich." "I'II need to see your last wage slip." "Are you full?" "You don't eat this kind of meal to feel full." "But I'm really hungry." "The portions aren't exactly generous." "They must make a fortune, selling empty plates." "well, I'm not full, either." "But it's nice here." "Let's have some more wine." "May I have the bill, please?" "Are we leaving already?" "If you're so hungry, we'd better." "At last, some real food." "Hermann, I'm worried." "Now?" "There's something about you I don't understand." "You're so different with your friends." "How?" "With me you're so uncomplicated." "You laugh and chat and bite my feet." "well, I Iike being with you." "There's something you don't want me to see... or that I can't see." "Maybe I'm too stupid for you." "AII right, I'II tell you." "I Iike tormenting myself." "But not right now." "I Iike to seem complicated." "I Iove it when people treat me like the oracle of delphi." "Oh, I'm a tragic figure!" "really tragic." "I suffer, and no one understands me." "But you'd never fail for that stuff." "Hermann, you're a funny one." "But I'm very, very, very fond of you." "You know what I'd Iike?" "For you to play me something... something for me." "I've always wanted that." "Suppose we really did it?" "What?" "Got married?" "Dearest, what did you say?" "I've often thought about that." "Expressing an idea... a totally intangible, unreal thing.:" "an idea." "Express it, and suddenly it's real." "july 22, 1964" "I get the fright of my Iife whenever one of them monsters overtakes." "Now we get his muck, too!" "well, I never!" "We ought to take his number." "You're right." "Our Robert reported one of them." "He stopped and called the police." "Good for him!" "And you know what they said?" "There wasn't any damage!" "As if nerves wasn't damage!" "They ruin your nerves, these rowdies." "But the police turn a blind eye." "We're nearly there." "I've got to go again." "Wait till we arrive." "It's silly to stop when we're so near." "I need to go myself... but we'II both hold out." "You've gone very quiet, Mariegoot?" "Grandma, I think she's going to be sick." "I've never been this far from home." "How long have we been going, JacqueIinsche?" "Six hours?" "I'm knackered enough for 10." "And we've still got the wedding." "We're supposed to be there at 1 1 :00, and we have to change first." "pauline, what if I can't last?" "You will, Mariegoot." "You'II have to." "You can't show Hermann up." "Why did he pick such a hot day?" "CouIdn't he wait till September?" "We could have gone straight on to Lake Garda." "It's not far, just over the alps." "Don't be so sure, pauline." "There's Austria in between, and tyrol, and the Brenner Pass." "Mariegoot, did you pack our silk blouses." "Aye, of course, pauline." "In here." "We can't turn up like this." "And Munich's a big place." "Bigger than Kirchberg and Simmern?" "Aye, JacqueIinsche, lots bigger!" "A dozen times." "will we even find Hermann's street?" "Simon-Schneider, please?" "That's us." "Bride and groom in the front row, witnesses on either side." "No music, is that right?" "That's right." "shall I tell the organist to leave?" "It only costs 20 marks for him to stay." "I'm aware of that." "I'II tell him to leave, then." "ShouIdn't we have some music, after all?" "But we decided." "well?" "Music or no music?" "No music." "They'II call you a philistine." "It's the money-grubbing I hate." "Why are you so hard, Hermann?" "Maybe the man once had his dream." "So, what'II we do?" "I'd Iike to treat you." "May I?" "Music, please." "You might have made up your minds before." "What would you Iike?" "The Wedding March, perhaps?" "The Wagner is 18.50 and the MendeIssohn 42.50." "Why is MendeIssohn so dear?" "It's all fortissimo..." "I have to pedal like mad." "And?" "handel's Largo is very reasonable." "That's for funerals." "What's this?" "matrimonial medley." "Not my best." "Or this, for 30 marks?" "Liszt's Liebestraum." "But that's for connoisseurs." "What's the most expensive?" "Ah, that's my aII-purpose Wedding March deluxe." "Wagner, MendeIssohn, and the prelude from Tristan." "Hermann wrote that he was living in such a villa." "But nobody in Schabbach believed him." "Look out." "Isn't that nice?" "It's a treble clef." "Did you ever see the like?" "JacqueIinsche, go find the bell." "They've gone to a Iot of trouble." "It's gorgeous, look at that carpet." "Don't it work?" "What'II we do?" "The door's open." "We can't just walk in." "Is anyone there?" "I'm his great aunt and here's his aunt, Frau Kröber from Simmern." "Mind you, I'm not his real aunt." "strictly speaking, I'm... his stepfather's sister." "This is Frau Kröber's granddaughter." "JacqueIinsche, say hello nicely." "I'm Hermannsche's grandmother's sister." "His mother." "You see, his mother... was dying to come, but she gets so carsick." "She just couldn't face it." "So we said, Iet's us two go and his mother stayed home." "And I came instead." "Are you the owner?" "No, I'm her second-in-command." "I'm Frau Ries." "They're all still at the registry." "Oh, no!" "could we still make it?" "You might, in the car." "But by the time I've explained how to get there, they'II be back." "Why don't you come in?" "Bring the chairs down, please." "And you carry on, EIfriede." "Come on, JacqueIinsche." "We'II fetch the cases." "Go on, pull." "But don't scratch it." "It's all rosewood." "Go on." "It's seven metres long, and seats 30 people." "Look at me, smile!" "Renate, you came!" "I'm so glad he didn't forget me." "I've moved in with Herr Brettschneider now." "As business partners, or what?" "I'm not married." "At the office, they call me "the concubine."" "How's your Latin, Hermann?" "Have you met?" "Frau Moretti." "Dr. Brettschneider." "congratulations!" "To you!" "To you and your charming bride." "Renate, Schnüsschen." "WaItraud!" "hello!" "You've got a nerve, Hermann." "Why?" "I'm not the first artist to marry." "But the most unfaithful." "Or shouIdn't I say that?" "Hermann, get a move on." "So we meet again." "Is this your girlfriend?" "May I present..." "Annikki, from finland." "She teaches German." "Are you learning Finnish?" "Of course." "But I spoke it before." "Have you given up acting?" "Oh, no." "But Dr. Brettschneider has taken me under his wing." "Actresses need protectors." "Don't we, AIois?" "What, poppet?" "Nothing." "Give me the present." "A beautiful car." "And not cheap, either." "Look at that." "It's lovely." "The rice, the rice!" "Carry the bride over the threshold, so we can get on with it!" "Everything is meaningless, but nothing is chance." "Hermann." "Where's my mother?" "You know her." "She was dying to come." "But so many strange faces... and the Iong journey." "Yesterday, she said yes." "She didn't sleep all night." "And in the morning she said no." "well, I'm glad you're here!" "But she sends her love, to your wife, too!" "This is WaItraud Simon!" "She's a lovely girl, Hermann." "And your mother will write to you." "I thought you wouldn't give rings!" "Now, stay here." "I've brought a pair from the shop!" "Not the cheap ones the farmers buy." "These are the big, solid ones, look." "1 4 carat, these are, 18 is too soft, it doesn't last." "These here last forever." "They're for life." "Your uncle Robert and me... we'd have given anything for rings like these." "But those were hard times." "1934, before the war." "We were so poor, we couldn't afford a ring from our own shop." "But now my son, Robertchen, who's taken over... he has these big solid rings." "Now, Hermann, put one on your wife's finger." "It's hers." "I'm dying to see if it fits." "It does!" "Now the other one, WaItraud." "Other hand, Hermann." "will that fit, too?" "They both fit!" "Now, give her a kiss, go on!" "That'II do, now!" "Look, everyone." "Here goes!" "It's nothing to do with me." "I want to go home." "clemens, the drummer boy, Bernd." "VoIker, Jean-Marie, CIarissa." "The holy Trinity." "jules e Jim." "Renate and Dr. Brettschneider, sexual politics in the office..." "Herr Schneider, son of the soil..." "Hermannsche, fancy you eating soup out of cups." "And turtle soup, too!" "Poor creatures." "Mäthes-Pat once took me to Frankfurt Zoo." "They had turtles there." "But they were all hard." "Are you sure that's turtle meat in here?" "Don't you Iike it?" "Hermann, who's that black man?" "He's EveIyne's boyfriend." "He's got lovely manners." "He comes from Africa." "But why's he wearing a nightgown?" "It's not a nightgown." "That's what they wear." "What bits do they use?" "Neck or belly?" "I really couldn't say." "You know, where we live... you can't get things like this." "We're cut off from civilisation, if you take my meaning." "Our Robertchen, always says so." "It's all a question of supply and demand." "It's the same with gold, watches, and jewellery." "What do farmers know about it?" "Sometimes, no one comes into the shop all day." "So there you sit, with all your jewels?" "You know about jewels?" "Yes, indeed." "From the negative side." "What it's like not to have any." "And now, waldorf salad in Iady-finger baskets." "I prefer your fingers." "Very good, sir." "Very good." "See you later." "Hermann, are you paying for all this?" "Not so loud, Mariegoot." "Listen to what the others are saying." "It's interesting." "You can tell me what it cost!" "It won't take long." "AII right." "It cost about 500 to 600 marks." "But we didn't need to ask you." "Schnüsschen's father paid." "Look, this is all for you." "They said to give it to you after." "But you should know we're giving you something, too." "please put it away." "Here's how!" "As the actress said to the bishop." "You've got Inca blood in your veins." "I'd love to see the Andes." "They must be so different from our boring old countryside, Annikki?" "They say finland's full of mosquitoes." "Is that true?" "Mosquitoes?" "Dangerous animals." "I want to go home." "Have a look at the lovely food first." "Come and sit down." "little pest." "If we'd known you'd be like this, you would've stayed home." "Duck in orange sauce." "Hermann, I'm full." "First fish, then salad, then soup, then nuts...." "Come on, we'II go out." "And all in the wrong order." "I must get some air." "The duck is the best part." "Now, who'II carve?" "Where's the toilet?" "I'II show you." "Wait." "I don't have to go." "I just wanted to know, in case." "These friends of yours, they're from the best families." "Are you sure you can rely on them?" "Some of them." "The way they look at you sometimes... it put me right off my dinner." "Hermann, why did you never once come home?" "Your mother would've been so happy." "You're a funny one." "Must we talk about it now?" "Someone has to tell you." "It's hard for us, too." "It's my affair." "So you think." "I be your father-in-Iaw." "I made it." "Very nice!" "I smell money." "Daddy!" "Schneider, karl, from Schneppebach!" "How's Mum, HiIde, and the baby?" "They're all fine." "Come in." "This is my father." "These are Hermann's friends." "My father, FräuIein CerphaI." "How do you do?" "well I never, Schnüsschen's dad!" "What sort of music do you write, Herr Weber?" "Modern, too?" "One has to listen to new music over and over, in order to like it." "Each piece is unique." "It doesn't remind you of anything." "I'd Iike to go to the opera, just once." "I saw the reopening of the Munich Opera on the telly." "You wouldn't credit it!" "That great big chandelier alone." "It's bigger than this whole room." "And higher." "Do you write operas, too?" "In theory, yes, but not to date." "Mariegoot, shall we go to the opera, now we're here?" "Maybe the young gentlemen will help." "With what?" "With tickets." "For what?" "For the opera." "Remember?" "What's it cost?" "Is it very expensive?" "It can be." "That's the hardest thing about opera." "But we need some things we can't afford everyday, Iike weddings." "Just think, there's five musicians here... not counting Hermann!" "The others are in films." "And there's two actresses!" "Where?" "That's one film gentleman there." "The others are over there... and the two actresses at the end." "How do you know all that, pauline?" "The gentleman with the Inca blood told me." "Some digestive spirits?" "Come on, Hermann, it's your wedding!" "Come and join us!" "There's plenty to drink." "What's your name?" "vladimir." "Are you from Russia?" "No, from the RhineIand." "Mid-19th century." "I wore myself out tracking it down." "Look at this divine inlay!" "My grandfather had a musical pocket watch... and when I was a girl I had a humming-top that I still adore." "It has the charm of an early Goya, don't you think?" "Abracadabra." "And now...." "Let me hold you this way" "In my arms till break of day" "Dancing our rumba of love" "Its rhythmic sway" "will transport us far away" "To a land which only seems" "To exist in our dreams" "In our fiery embrace Our fingers interIace" "Your eyes caress my face" "Our hearts are on fire The flames leap higher" "When I hold you close like this" "There are no words for the bliss" "That I feel deep inside" "And though it drives me wild" "I try to pretend" "It won't ever end" "Our first encounter The last few hours together" "The only tango left to share" "Take me into your arms, dear" "Make me forget We have to say goodbye" "tell me we'II meet again dear" "please hold me close Or my poor heart will break" "Come dance with me" "Our last tango d'amor" "I'm so in love More than ever before" "Each moment with you" "Was such heaven for me" "Come dance the tango with me" "shall I show you a French kiss?" "We're too old!" "close your eyes." "Mouth open." "Tongue out." ""Pepper in the pot." "Love will stay hot."" "I took my little ciara Off to the Sahara" "And I Ieft my little KIärchen There in Sahärchen" "What did you Iike about Kibbutz?" "Working together, in a collective." "There were 50 of us, from all over the world." "But only five from Germany." "Where was it?" "On Lake Tiberias." "The Sea of galilee, where Jesus walked on water." "Did you walk on water?" "Every night, barefoot." "Yeah, barefoot!" "Leave us in peace, Stefan." "Since when do you Iike peace?" "That's new." "Go away." "Why?" "Go on." "You make a lovely couple." "A lovely couple." "Shove off." "For Christ's sake, Stefan, this suit's hired." "So?" "A lovely couple." "It's hired." "Reinhard, what did I do?" "Come on now, I'II get you a glass of milk." "And you can see my scalp." "I know what you're thinking." "What makes you think I'm thinking what you think I'm thinking?" "You know what I think?" "I should go." "No." "We'II both go." "And I have to watch you moping all night?" "No, I'II take the kids, and you stay." "So you can tell me for weeks I'm a lousy mother?" "You simper at those musicians like a schoolgirl!" "So you're jealous?" "Get stuffed!" "You're horrible today, mean and nasty." "Today?" "You despise me for mothering your children." "My children?" "They're our children, aren't they?" "Who knows?" "That's the Iast straw!" "Come on, Mariegoot, it's late." "How does that music box work...." "Hurry up!" "california okay?" "congratulations!" "I'm dying to see their flat." "Me, too." "Hurry up, JacqueIinsche!" "Where's Hermann?" "In his Hunsrück heaven!" ""May it always taste as sweet."" "Long live music." "The electricity's not on yet." "Now, everyone... back to the party." "There's lots of food and drink left." "I want to be alone with Hermann." "WaItraud's tired." "I'm sure you understand." "But we'II never find our pension." "It's easy." "You turn right outside, then take the second left... then there's the lights, and it's on the corner." "I don't know." "It's such a big place." "You'II manage, pauline!" "Good night!" "sleep well!" "Dad'II help you." "Keep your end up, lad!" "Go on!" "I'm counting the days." "Do you know you leave in exactly 34 days?" "That's over a month." "I'm sad." "You'II be so far away." "VoIker, I've got to go." "I want to go." "How was Paris?" "It rained." "The rain falls on Paris." "And those fools who pinch your bum in the metro." "I'd Iike to take you away... for two days." "One day for talk... and one for silence." "So this was Hermann's wedding." "Now that's in the past, too." "Every day, something ends." "It's like being on a merry-go-round." "It all goes so fast!" "How about it?" "Two days." "Perhaps." "I don't know." "You're thinking of Hermann." "Not at all." "AII right, I'II go with you." "But where to?" "The Lammer Gorge?" "It's a gorge on the River Lammer, in Austria." "AII right, to the Lammer!" "You think of everything." "Yes, sir." "You needn't be afraid." "Who's afraid?" "That's not what I meant." "We're not going to do it, are we?" "Not on our wedding night!" "Shit!" "Leave me alone!" "Juan has...." "He's tried...." "Your bloody rifle!" "Now are you satisfied?" "Can someone fetch the first-aid kit?" "It's only a scratch." "A flesh wound." "Turn over." "Does it hurt?" "Can you feel this?" "Say something!" "please, Juan." "Were you here the whole time?" "I had no idea!" "Were you out in the garden?" "You mustn't keep hiding, Juan." "Where've you been?" "No one's heard from you in months." "Juan, it's me, look at me!" "Don't you want me to help you?" "We've always been friends." "You said it wasn't loaded!" "Do you think I'm going to jail for your stupid games?" "Shut up, prig!" "You know it's illegal." "You're a bloody criminal!" "You had that coming to you." "Stop it, now!" "Not on my property!" "You are my guests." "This has gone too far." "Juan, you disappoint me." "I thought you in particular a disciplined person." "You in particular, with your talent and application." "Juan, I'II call a doctor, okay?" "No." "We were only fooling around." "I want to know what happened." "He tried to shoot himself in the heart." "I just managed to stop him." "I Iove you, CIarissa." "Never say that again." "That's my only condition." "Juan, you're a dreamer." "You men, you talk about everything except yourselves!" "philosophy, yes!" "But what about you?" "This is intolerable!" "It's an attack on everything I stand for." "How could you do it?" "It's impossible, inconceivable." "We're rational human beings!" "It's immoral." "It's not on, its revolting!" "That's enough now!" "It's over!" "I want you all to leave." "Leave my house and my garden." "This instant, and for good." "I didn't mean it." "But I do!" "I'm turning you off my property." "I don't want to see you again." "You've all disappointed me, all of you." "And now you want to live here!" "I want you to go, too, this instant." "It's over!" "THE SECOND HEIMAT" "CHRONICLE OF A GENERATION IN 13 FILMS" "9" " The eternal daughter FräuIein CerphaI 1965" "FräuIein CerphaI never lifted her ban on us." "Our FoxhoIes time was over." "Our lives changed... even more radically now." "We all went about our own business... isolated from the others." "We kept our plans to ourselves, doubted our talents... and let no one see our hand." "only Juan was allowed to live at the villa." "After his suicide attempt..." "FräuIein CerphaI took him under her wing." "Now, he became as inaccessible as the house... the garden... and all the other places where we'd been so happy." "I'm certain I was right... to send those young people packing." "I was chasing an idée fixe all those years... thinking I couId resurrect the old Schwabing." "Those were quite different times." "The 18th century... that was the right age for me." "I'd have had a salon... for all the best minds of the day." "And people didn't have this fixation with youth then." "A genius was a genius... at 15 or 50." "Artists aren't what they used to be either." "With Juan it's different." "He's simply special." "What a beautiful job he's making of that paving." "What a beautiful job he's making!" "A work of art." "although he's no artist... he's infinitely versatile." "And yet so unhappy." "I couldn't just turn him out." "The others, yes." "But not him." "But he mustn't have it too easy." "I don't want him trying suicide again." "He needs clearly defined tasks, which I shall set him." "He's a brilliant entertainer... but I must make sure he has work to do." "I don't think your father will be with us much longer." "I saw my mother die... and your grandfather." "Both in spring." "Spring is cruel to old people, FräuIein CerphaI." "You can take my word for that." "please excuse the comparison with my mother." "Is he worse then?" "If you want to see him again, you'd better go." "It's a full moon tonight, you never know." "I'm always fine at full moon." "What did he say?" "He said..." "I needn't bother doing that laundry." "He often gets depressed." "You're reading too much into it, Frau Ries." "Your father is 80." "You've stayed a proper child." "How is he?" "Fine." "Leave us alone." "Daddy, look, I pinched these for you." "Do you Iike them?" "Fetch writing things: paper and pencil." "And then stop fussing around." "There are so many things to do." "It's all in the right-hand drawer." "child, why can't you be more orderly?" "You'II be grown-up soon." "Don't criticise me." "I'm putting my Iife in order." "There's so much unfinished business." "In my position one must settle things." "How are you, Daddy?" "Don't you want to hear my news first?" "I spent a wonderful evening... talking to Dr. Zehetmeier." "He gives his best regards and wants to visit you sometime." "By the way, EveIyne has become a real artist." "She will soon be singing at the Parisian Opera." "Now listen, my daughter, this is important." "You will go into the department." "To the office on the fourth floor." "I have put the keys over there." "The small one is the master key." "It opens all the doors in the building." "The big one is the key to my office." "The rest are the keys to my desk." "Now the combination to the safe." "Ready?" "Three left... five right, four right... four left, five left... one right." "Easy." "In '35 we built it... in '44 it was bombed... and in '51 we rebuilt it again." "Where was I?" "The safe." "On the top Ieft-hand shelf... there's a brown envelope." "Bring it to me." "Unopened." "Hurry." "Now?" "But it's closed now, Daddy." "They've gone home." "Use the parking lot entrance." "Better if they don't see you anyway." "The key fits that, too?" "It's a master key." "Don't you know what that is?" "It fits all doors." "Except my office." "only the big key fits that." "Got it now?" "You've opened your eyes at last." "I thought you didn't want to see me." "Frau Ries gave me a fright today." "For forty years she's been so vague." "I thought...." "elisabeth, you must be prepared." "I can't move my right hand anymore." "Things don't look good." "really?" "Now go and do as I said." "Be a good girl." "And bring the picture of your grandmother." "Then we can throw that landscape out." "I've seen enough of it." "Now what have I done?" "How did you get in?" "What are those keys?" "They're my keys." "This isn't a government building." "You're right to do your job... but that's enough." "Give me my keys, and go back to work." "You'II come with me." "Let go of me!" "I'm a CerphaI." "This is my father's office." "Just come with me... to the office... we'II take your particulars and sort this out." "Don't push me!" "police." "Any proof of identity?" "fortunately, yes." "Shine your torch over here." "please note the name." "It's on the second page." "FräuIein fall?" "No, CerphaI." "How and why did you enter the building?" "Officer, can you read?" "Answer the question, please." "Are you blind?" "CerphaI publishing, and my name's CerphaI." "well?" "Do you know the lady?" "Nope." "What's your name?" "elisabeth CerphaI." "I'm the daughter." "Far as I know, we're a company, lots of owners." "I must ask you to come to the station." "Get in the car, please." "That man's got my key!" "Good evening, Frau Ries." "That dog thinks I'm someone else." "How did you get in?" "Did you climb over the fence?" "There's no bell." "That's no reason to break in." "Good thing FräuIein CerphaI's out." "But you know me." "I was always against people coming and going as they pleased." "It was different in my day." "There has to be some order." "Everybody respects it but you." "You have no manners, Herr alex." "hello, Juan." "What are you doing?" "Making a brontosaurus out of a single piece of paper." "AII these animals are made out of a single piece of paper." "It's called origami, the art of paper-foIding." "A 500-year-oId tradition." "Look at this." "There's nothing like it in nature." "An icosahedron." "A regular solid." "There are only five of them." "Twenty equiIateraI triangles." "I find it fascinating." "Don't you?" "Speaking philosophically, Juan, you're going crazy." "RENATE'S U-BOAT" "Joining us, Herr Juan?" "alex is such a regular... he gets a special discount." "Let me show you around." "Mind your heads." "You're just in time." "The show starts in five minutes." "THUS FAR ..." "AND NO FURTHER" "That's the password." "You know Herr Aufhäuser." "That's his film editor, FräuIein Dagmar." "Who else do you know?" "We keep open house." "Not too open." "Too open today, closed tomorrow." "well said!" "roll out the barrel, then." "This is Dagmar, my editor, and alex, my personal sage." "What'II it be, alex?" "Some nice draught beer?" ""capitalism thrives on...."" "Zeroes." "Make me forget We have to say goodbye" "tell me We'II meet again, dear" "please hold me close Or else my heart will break" "Come dance with me" "Our last tango d'amour" "I'm pregnant." "Come, dance just once more with me" "With this tango, it all began" "And with this tango it will end" "But I won't cry now" "For if our true fate's in store" "I know the time is coming" "When you'II dance with me ever more" "I didn't know I'd given you a child." "You haven't." "It isn't yours." "I'm so in love More than ever before" "Each moment with you" "Was such heaven for me" "WouIdn't call it Stefan ever." "Never." "At FoxhoIes, our friends had invaded us... almost every night." "At all hours." "When the city was silent, and the Iast pub had closed... they landed on us like a flock of birds." "They ate us out of house and home... and never stopped talking." "Searching talk." "talk that shook us out of our torpor... that inspired unrest, protest... and a wild desire for freedom." "That was all over." "We were left in peace now." "Schnüsschen and I, and our baby." "I'm worried." "What about?" "That we're in your way." "Are we in your way, Simone and I?" "We must be such a drag on you." "But I don't know how to make us smaller." "We could ask Herr Roos to move out." "But he won't find anywhere cheap, either." "Hermann, are we in your way?" "Schnüsschen, forget it." "You know how fond I am of you." "Look how much she's drunk." "Sometimes I feel she's just visiting us." "Look at me." "I can't wait till she starts to talk." "I dreamed about it." "She stood by my bed, put her little face up to mine... and talked to me." "Like a big girl, for a Iong time." "Then she swore me to secrecy, and said:" ""Let's not tell anyone I can talk."" "Then she chatted on, and on." "I can't remember what." "I'II tell Herr Roos to go." "shall we?" "Then you'd have a room for a piano." "When I think how many people we used to have around." "At FoxhoIes... hardly a night went by without friends dropping in." "I miss that sometimes." "We haven't seen anyone for months." "I don't even know what they're doing." "Give me your vest." "But it's all sweaty." "Give it to me." "I Iike it like that, honestly." "You haven't said if we're in your way." "Stop it, Mozart had dozens of kids." "But he was a womaniser." "That's the difference between Mozart and me." "If the bell rang now, we wouldn't open the door." "We'd leave them out in the cold, till they turned blue." "I'd throw a message down:" ""Come back when we don't need you."" "Don't be too generous." "You must be more careful." "people take advantage." "You think?" "I'm getting up." "I've had an idea." "I'd better just write it down." "AII right." "I'II ask you again tomorrow if we're in your way." "shall I shut the door?" "gentlemen, if you weren't on duty, I'd ask you in for a drink." "But alas!" "You are on duty, aren't you?" "Don't forget your master key, madam." "Are you hurt, Juan?" "What are you doing down there?" "My key." "It seems to be a day for lost keys." "Take the master key." "well, gentlemen, thanks again... for your kindness and for bringing me home." "Regards to your inspector." "Goodbye, LeopoId, goodbye, karl." "No!" "You're LeopoId, aren't you?" "The other way round." "Juan, I'm worried." "I get everything mixed up." "This master key is too much for me." "Did you know my father is ill?" "Are your parents alive?" "only my mother." "I owe everything to my father:" "my house, my past, perhaps my future." "It never occurred to me that I couId lose it all." "I was taken for a criminal today." "Can you imagine it?" "You'II have to explain that." "You frighten me." "Come and have a drink." "No, thanks, I've had enough tonight." "Some strong tea, then." "You know, I've never seen a dead body." "Can you imagine?" "Not even in the war." "Throughout the air raids I was here in this house." "At night I saw the flames of the burning city... reflected in the clouds." "Up to now everything horrible and bloody has passed me by." "Perhaps you'II see a dead body soon." "I'm completely at a loss, Juan." "I am at a loss." "I wasn't expecting you!" "My child." "I prayed so hard for a safe landing." "CIarissa, what's happened to the cello?" "Did it fall over?" "CIarissa, tell us." "What happened?" "I knew it!" "The whole time, I just knew it." "That bloody fool talked me into it." "He said it'd be safe in the hold... he'd take care of it personally." "I didn't believe him... but I wanted to save the money." "They charge more for a cello... than for a person if you keep it with you." "Even though a cello doesn't eat or drink or even speak...." "Shit, I knew it." "Anyway, you're safe." "Oh, Mother!" "Look what's happened!" "Isn't that enough?" "For 200 years it waited for me." "Listen to this... that degenerate has become a famous pianist." "I've got an article about him here." "Want to read it?" "VoIker." "Praise everywhere, and excellent reviews." "He seems to be really gifted." "That changes the way you feel about a person." "We'II go to my house, shall we?" "CIarissa won two competitions in America." "And she played in a studio." "For a record company." "CIarissa, won't you tell us anything?" "Father Trechmeier is already curious." "I have written you everything." "She plays the Debussy sonata." "Is the record available here?" "Perhaps next year." "And your invitations... to New York and california?" "To Boston and San Francisco, Mother." "Aren't you proud?" "I'm sad." "It had a soul." "We'II repair it." "Who knows how many knocks it's had in 200 years." "But skilled and dedicated craftsmen have always restored it." "Maybe it's tone improved each time." "Isn't that possible?" "You're an optimist." "You've grown even more beautiful in America." "Have I told you?" "The first thing you learn in America... not to have any illusions." "Tomorrow, we'II take the cello to be looked at." "I can do that... on my own...." "Thank you." "My student years were over, too." "I entered the conservatory once more... climbed the Fascist marble stairs... and remembered everything and nothing." "Every step was familiar." "My nine terms started there..." "like a table littered with leftovers." "Herr Simon, turn around." "DIPLOMA" "AII that remains, is to wish you every success." "SCHOOL OF MUSIC" "Now I had a diploma to prove that I was qualified to compose music." "At least it was something to keep off the rain." "CERPHAL PUBLISHERS" "I have an appointment with Herr von Beck at 1 :00." "They're still at lunch." "would you take a seat?" "Von Beck." "How do you do?" "This is Dr. Leierseder, our senior editor." "And Dr. Riebe, our legal expert." "I'm sorry about the fuss last night." "It was just as much a shock to me." "I see you have your legal adviser here, just in case." "Not at all, FräuIein CerphaI." "I act for the firm in several capacities." "It's an honour for us to welcome a real CerphaI." "A representative of our former owners." "And founders, Iet's not forget." "Founders of a publishing empire." "We strive to uphold their tradition..." "I assure you." "May we give you some "CerphaI Editions"?" "CerphaI." "They're reprints... of original titles." "Did you know about them?" "A deluxe edition." "Top quality paper." "We found a contract ensuring your father... access to his office for life." "We were really surprised." "It must date back to the early days." "The right also extends to... the other members of his family." "But only during office hours, I should presume." "We're pleased that the firm was so sensitive... to the human element, then." "Your family's story... must be a wonderful reflection of its time." "Why don't you write a book about it?" "Me?" "No, really." "We want to record the history of the firm." "A history... that lies hidden, as it were, in your father's office." "His office has always been sacrosanct." "If writing is a problem, we have some excellent authors." "But they lack the authentic, personal angle... which is just what you possess." "That's true." "And I'm here to help and encourage you." "May I help?" "No one but your father has ever had the key." "Time has stood still here, Iike the air." "1910 air." "My father's still alive." "I have several things to see to." "Thank you." "I promise not to trespass again." "We can talk again later." "Is that my contract?" "A copy." "I shall need an hour or so." "I can find my way out." "Where do I start?" "'35, '44, '51 ...." "What did I always say, Daddy?" ""Get me someone to play with."" "I was sure you'd make uncle GoIdbaum your partner... because his daughter was my age." "Edith was fourteen." "So it must have been 1924." "And you always said, "child, there's no need for you to worry."" "So I didn't worry." "Not about the firm when Peter was killed." "Not about Mother, when she got cancer." "Not about the family when our house in Bogenhausen burned down." "Not about Edith when they took her away in 1943." "And not about her little girl... when they took her to switzerland in the middle of the war." "Excuse me." "Your books." "May I ask a little favour?" "could we take a picture of you, just as you are now?" "will it make a noise?" "We'II be as quiet as mice." "Very well." "Now Arno is dead, Aunt Hedwig has died in Haifa, and you are ill." "I know so dreadfully little." "Daddy, you mustn't leave me in such ignorance." "I beg you, change it." "I'm sure you think everything I know is just nonsense." "The way the cakes tasted on your 60th birthday for instance, in the war." "Or that Edith smelled of sweat... before they took her off to Dachau." "Edith was my best friend for 20 years." "And Dachau is only 20 kilometres away." "You see what rubbish I carry around in my head?" "Won't you help me, Daddy?" "Speak to me, say something." "hello, may I show you something?" "The outfit that lady bought... do you have it in my size?" "GeroId!" "Frau Ries!" "Of course, GeroId's in Spain." "Where's my milk chocolate?" "I don't like plain." "AII the milk's gone." "Come in." "Do I Iook like my grandmother?" "No, I don't think so." "Why didn't I marry?" "Why didn't I learn to do anything?" "I wasn't meant to take over the firm." "Why can't I find my way in the city?" "Look, this is my diary." "It starts in 1927." "But I don't feature in it." "I keep it hidden in this chest." "If my father were here, he could explain it to you." "I'm missing 20 years." "I've mislaid them somehow." "We'II unwrap the picture here." "Don't touch the surface." "What shall we do with this pretty picture?" "Daddy, what shall we do with this pretty picture?" "Leave us alone." "Leave us alone, and take the picture with you." "Wait, leave it here." "Put it there, against the wall." "And shut the door." "Come here." "Tear this up." "You mean, you want me... to tear it up now, in front of you?" "What is it?" "A sham contract." "It's invalid." "Go on, tear it up properly." "It's your writing." "When did you write it?" "It must be destroyed." "Now listen." "If anyone comes and lays claim... to your house, kick him out." "Who?" "GoIdbaum's relatives, for instance." "The house is yours and yours alone." "But...." "It did belong to uncle GoIdbaum once?" "That's all in the past." "He's dead." "It's over and done with." "Get rid of that." "Won't you burn it?" "But, Daddy, I can't light a fire here." "What are you thinking of?" "I'II throw it in the rubbish." "What's wrong with this hand?" "It's driving me mad." "Why won't you tell me what those papers were?" "What was all that about the house?" "Have I anything to worry about?" "You have nothing to worry about." "But now do something for me." "What, Daddy?" "I want you to... finish your studies at long last." "I'm completely serious." "Didn't I always say you should do a doctorate?" "You've been studying for 20 years." "Art, history, psychology... anthropoIogy, medicine." "EgyptoIogy, drama." "Is there anything you haven't studied?" "So much, Daddy." "I'm like you." "Things only interest me up to a certain point." "You always said, "The rest is bureaucracy."" "You don't understand me." "I want you to earn what you own." "That's what I had to do." "It's not enough just to inherit something." "I have no more questions." "The pen." "MY LAST WILL" "VOLKER SCHIMMELPFENNING Concerto for Left Hand" "ORCHESTRA CONDUCTED BY JEAN-MARIE WEBER" "The Concerto for Left Hand is a sign." "You must carry on as a pianist." "It's true, VoIker." "See, it brings you luck." "I'm a composer." "Things one is really good at come easily." "Your health." "Remember when you said you were giving up the cello?" "That's long ago." "But you nearly did." "I'm sure that was Herr Juan." "I'm quite serious, I assure you." "I'm not as young as I may look." "It's time I did a degree of some sort." "But a doctorate is a lengthy business." "Isn't there something a size smaller, a diploma of some kind?" "It's for my father's sake, he's 84." "What kind of career have you in mind?" "That's the other problem." "What openings are there in geology?" "AII the coasts and mountains have been explored." "Now mineralogy, that would interest me." "I've seen your splendid collection." "Nature's works of art." "There's petrography, which draws on palaeontology." "structural geology examines the processes... determining rock formations." "Geochemistry studies their chemical composition." "Stratigraphy is the study of rock layers and their fossil content." "That's a more practical field." "Economic geology Iocates deposits... of ore, coal, salts, petroleum." "And then, there's civil engineering... testing the substratum, for tower blocks dams, bridges, roads." "So there are many useful applications with excellent prospects." "well, tower blocks and dams...." "I don't know." "I was thinking of something... that had a little more to do with travel." "You enjoy travel?" "Yes, it's a girlhood dream of mine." "We're planning an excursion up the Danube." "I thought perhaps australia, or the GaIápagos islands... or the Andes." "Peru sounds very exciting." "I must have something to do, or I shall feel useless." "particularly as my father's so ill." "I'm taking it very seriously." "tell me frankly, Professor... for all those things you mentioned... don't you think I'm a bit too old?" "No." "But the competition is keen." "I encounter it myself daily." "You'd encourage me then?" "well, no." "No?" "Yes." "I mean, no." "Out twice." "No, with your left hand." "Where the heart is...." "Juan, you know everything." "You are the eternal daughter." "Queen of diamonds?" "Your father decides:" "Money, love... career... travel, health... house." "It's all in the cards?" "A deep, dark secret in your family." "Your father... got GoIdbaum's house... by promising to return it after the war." "He took everything he had... and gave none of it back." "A great wrong." "Where did you get all that from?" "It is a reconstruction." "Is that the word?" "I asked you." "I asked Herr Gattinger." "Observed, that's all." "My father told me nothing, he only spoke to my brothers." "Peter comes first for him." "Then Arno, whom he loved." "I was the "grace note." He even called me that once." "Your brothers are dead." "Look again." "For what?" "travel?" "Love?" "You live in the wrong generation." "Time stopped for you, 20 years ago." "You knew it all." "The story of your friend in Dachau." "Herr Gattinger's story with her and her child." "You knew that Herr Gattinger would betray her." "You knew that she would die." "You know whose house this is." "You've gone too far, Juan." "None of this is true." "I know nothing, and I don't believe a word of all you've said." "You loved Herr Gattinger." "That's enough." "Fetch us a drink instead." "I think... perhaps you love me as well." "Daddy, don't die." "Don't leave me alone." "professional Repair of String Instruments" "It always smells so good here." "Maybe he's in the workshop." "Do you think you can restore it?" "I think so." "It reminds me...." "The F-hoIes?" "A dream." "What about?" "I've forgotten." "It's only a feeling." "You had a picture in your room." "A photo, wasn't it?" "In your old room." "It's pizzicato, all the way through." "And, then, we'II see." "Let me finish it first." "I can't wait." "Bye!" "Send it to me." "I'II bring it around." "Oh, excuse me." "Ah, hello, nice to see you!" "This is our little Simone, Hermann's and mine." "How old is she?" "Four months and five days old." "I'm in an awful rush." "Come and see us." "Have I been away so long?" "Do you see why I've always believed in her?" "She plays wonderfully." "I know you only represent established artists." "But won't you take CIarissa on?" "She's so gifted." "We're faced with violence." "We reject violence against the person... but in some cases violence against property is entirely permissible." "Breaking it open would be criminal damage." "Whereas climbing over it wouId be...." "There's a dog." "A big one?" "We'II see if it's open." "If not, we'II get in the back." "Was that a shot?" "Are you all right?" "I'm all right." "I shouldn't have touched it." "It just went off." "Look." "There's a hole in the chair." "What time is it?" "almost 1 2:30." "I'II come with you." "Then I won't be frightened in the dark corridors." "We'II leave it all as it is." "Juan, what's going on?" "help me, please." "What's going on?" "I think it's a meeting." "In my house?" "Yes, since 10:00." "FräuIein HeIga, what's going on here?" "What are you doing in my house?" "I don't understand!" "We've brought our own food." "It's all right." "Don't worry." "Listen!" "Listen to me!" "Quiet, please!" "The point is:" "Does liberation from the affluent society...." "Listen." "Does liberation from the affluent society mean the transition... from capitalism to socialism, or not?" "That is what we should discuss." "And my answer?" "My answer is:" "It doesn't mean that." "If you want to start the revolution, go ahead." "Pretend I'm not here." "Are you the owner?" "precisely." "As representative of the bourgeoisie, you're a class enemy." "Not personally." "I'm sure you're very nice, but your views are those of the ruling class." "My view... is that you didn't consult me about this meeting." "That's not politics, but decency." "Who let you in, anyway?" "That's immaterial." "We're talking about dismantling the power structure." "Don't threaten me!" "This is FoxhoIes, isn't it?" "well?" "I want this meeting ended now." "FräuIein CerphaI... we're here because we must stop the Emergency Laws." "It's our historic duty." "But you're not the government!" "I don't understand anymore." "You know very well I closed the house to you." "This is an exception." "help me, Juan!" "I can't call the police." "Let's discuss this." "You're upset because you weren't asked." "But we need a place where..." "Strauss  Co. haven't put their bugs." "people like that don't have bugs." "Don't be silly." "Time's running out." "They'II rush the laws through." "Think how HitIer came to power." "It's insane." "You can stay the night." "I'II give you a toothbrush." "Untouched by human hand." "I've always told CIarissa:" "Life only gives you one chance." "But this time it's different." "This seems to be the exception." "You understand?" "Life's giving you a second chance." "But I've always...." "Hush." "The tone is even better, after the repair." "Don't you agree?" "Thanks for everything." "The agent will be in touch." "I know him." "He wanted to study medicine, too." "The problem is... we don't know how the laws will operate." "They haven't even defined an emergency." "So what are we against, they say...." "Your father is dead." "Soon there'II be nothing left for me to do." "You see, FräuIein CerphaI, that's the end for us." "For you... and for me." "Were you at the nursing home?" "So late?" "It's 2:00." "He died just before 1 2:30." "The doctor was with him, and nurse, and me." "He didn't say any more." "1 2:30?" "I want you all out of here." "If not, the police will be here... in five minutes, to arrest the lot of you!" "Get out!" "Have you no decency?" "Daddy." "I couId have sworn he moved." "It's easy to deceive oneself..." "FräuIein CerphaI." "A letter for you." "Your father wanted you to read it." "Come along, nurse, we'II leave her." ""My dear daughter EIisabeth..." ""don't forget the house belongs to you alone." ""Go to the bank." ""You'II find all the papers in the safe." ""deal with Dr. Finck, he knows about everything." ""He will explain that the rest of your inheritance..." ""will only come to you when you have got your degree." ""I shall be buried in the North Cemetery..." ""where I can be near you." ""Daddy."" "I don't want to go home." "The flat's lovely... but I'm scared, alone there at night." "A while ago, I woke about 5:00, and thought someone was in the room." "I heard it quite clearly." "Some creature breathing in the darkness." "I told myself, "It's impossible."" "The door's bolted, the window's shut... it's the fifth floor, it's impossible." "But that just scared me more." "I turned on the light to convince myself." "But that made it worse." "HeIga, not in your condition." "I couldn't see anyone... but I felt something alien." "Some alien being was there, but I couldn't see it." "Do you know what I mean?" "Has that ever happened to you?" "You men would never admit it." "I didn't sleep until it was light... and the danger was over." "But I had a rehearsal at 10:00, so then I started panicking I'd oversIeep." "Where shall we go?" "Good question... at 1 :00 in the morning in Munich." "Here we are." "What's that whistling?" "Knock three times for luck." "This is Herr Böhringer, the conveyancer." "I'm the hen that lays no eggs." "It's true." "And what the war didn't destroy... we're destroying now." "Herr Böhringer... can we at Ieast oblige the buyers... to put up a building that has something to do with culture?" "I'm afraid not." "The company plans to build a complex of 150 seIf-contained flats." "The City council is in favour." "150 flats?" "Are we asking enough?" "We've got an excellent price." "Enough to travel the world for the rest of your life." "And all tax-free." "well, the past has to end sometime." "When shall we pack?" "Whenever you Iike." "Today?" "My father will turn in his grave." "His time was over, elisabeth." "My father was a tycoon." "Did you know?" "What shall I put for your occupation, FräuIein CerphaI?" "Student." "Juan, there's no point now." "Don't you want to stop?" "But I haven't finished." "AII right, carry on." "THE SECOND HEIMAT" "CHRONICLE OF A GENERATION IN 13 FILMS" "10" " The End of the Future" " Reinhard 1966" "Reinhard came back from South America a sick man." "Montezuma's revenge, the doctor called the bug... that infested his intestines." "He'd been back in Munich for 1 1 hours." "For a year, he'd looked at the world with a filmmaker's eyes.:" "brazil, Peru, EI salvador, Mexico... countries that grew the cotton he'd been sent to document." "With Rob's help, he'd captured on film... everything the German chemical company wanted.:" "history, economy, technology, climate, culture." "An understandable world." "Reinhard knew how much his film left unsaid." "If only he could see his friends again." "For weeks he'd tell them of the mysteries he'd seen." "He was laden with the immensity of the world... and had no one to share his burden." "Rob, it's me." "Listen, FoxhoIes is gone." "Gone, disappeared without trace...." "In the phone box in HoIIandstrasse." "Have you still got the camera?" "There must be some film left." "Bring it here, right now." "I must get to the bottom of this." "Why the camera?" "So I can understand what's happened, damn it!" "Right, I'II wait outside." "It's really gone, honestly." "Do you live here?" "As you see." "Can you help me?" "If you're looking for number 21 ... you're too late." "It's gone." "Since when?" "Since last Thursday." "In four hours they knocked the whole thing flat." "The rubble went yesterday." "Quicker than in the war, even." "With these modern machines...." "Friends of mine used to live here." "well, we're not leaving." "We refuse to budge." "And so far, we're winning." "See that bulldozer over there?" "Like a tank about to attack?" "They want to knock our house down, too." "My wife was born here." "Next month... we're planting a hedge all the way round." "That's a promise." "You own the house?" "I wish we did." "Both of them were sold to Munich building Enterprises." "Didn't you know?" "That's their sign on the corner." "Take a good look." "It shows the office block they want to put up over our heads." "We'II be filming here in a moment." "Can we interview you?" "For TV?" "No, a documentary." "I've put my foot in it often enough." "I'd rather not." "Do you know where the owner, FräuIein CerphaI, lives now?" "Is this part of the interview?" "AII I know is she sold up." "500 marks per square metre." "Amazing, eh?" "We've already survived two eviction orders." "The greed of some people, you've no idea!" "But we're planting our hedge and that's that!" "The present... the future." "Let's try and get some shots that remind us of the house." "Look." "Look at that." "It's incredible." "Here!" "So you want to push it aside, or install it right here, or...." "And the gate!" "Reinhard." "What will a pan tell us?" "Let me tell you what I see, okay?" "I see a felled tree... three oil tanks... a TV aerial on the ground... a cellar wall...." "And now somebody's in the way." "Rob!" "speculation!" "Devastation!" "The spirits of the place banished and driven away." "The ancients believed in that." "Every place has its gods." "If they're angered..." "they turn nasty!" "And you want to use this as commentary?" "It's what I want to capture." "The house has gone, as though it's been stolen." "Even the space it took up has gone." "The space." "You can't put space on film." "See for yourself." "AII this bloody glass eye can do is goggle." "No hope, no feeling...." "Nothing is stupider than a camera." "You're right." "There's almost nothing to remind us of foxholes." "The villa was so much bigger than this hole!" "It couldn't have fitted in here." "Hang on." "One, two, three, four...." "impossible." "Just 130 square meters!" "That's nothing." "Just a hut." "Reinhard, our villa was a hut." "It's impossible, isn't it?" "It's those goddamn cramps again." "What did the doctor say?" "Montezuma's revenge." "What?" "Come on, Iie down." "Rob, is it you?" "You're back!" "Is Reinhard here, too?" "Yes, in a moment." "Reinhard, Hermann's here." "Is that your kid?" "Yes, that's lulu." "I don't believe it." "Did you know it was gone?" "It's been boarded up for months." "No curtains in the windows." "I tried to find out what they did with the piano, but I couldn't get in." "It's tearing my guts apart." "Fancy meeting you here." "Do you know what happened?" "FräuIein CerphaI sold the house." "They say she's travelling the world." "She's spending her money with Gattinger." "You know, we were happy in that house." "I always thought I didn't really belong." "But now...." "What about the others?" "Do you ever see them?" "You've been away a Iong time." "Remember that story about HeIga?" "How she came home after a year, and the doorbell still didn't work?" "You get around, you see the world." "You realise how much you can do in one day." "Then you come home, and time has stood still." "They haven't even repaired the doorbell." "Then you know you're home." "I've always hated that feeling of being home." "But it all revolved around you." "In the villa?" "That was just chance." "half a year in South America." "You come home... and Munich is a village." "The capital of Bavaria." "We moved six times before I was 16." "We never stayed anywhere longer than two years." "Five new schools, five new sets of teachers to hate." "If I only knew what happened to the piano." "It wasn't bad at all." "It had a special sound." "cool, but rounded." "You had to like it or it wouldn't respond." "How can you think of this stupid piano?" "The villa's gone and you don't give a damn." "Nothing's like it was anymore." "I've got to go." "She's getting hungry." "Marriage makes us all materialists." "shall I drive you?" "I've got the car." "Aren't you filming?" "Are you happy, Hermann?" "With a wife and child and home?" "And an alarm clock beside the bed?" "Things have changed." "That's just what I said." "You don't like children, do you?" "You're under the weather, Reinhard." "Go home." "RENATE'S U-BOAT" "Hi." "Good evening." "Nice to see you again." "Have a look around." "Yesterday we were closed, today we're open." "Now for our latest cocktail:" "olga's Tears." "freshly squeezed." "What are you writing?" ""Every finite thing is determined by other finite things." ""None has God..." ""as it's proximate course."" "And that's OIga's Tears for you." ""The question is:" ""What links the infinite number of substances..." ""to the infinity of God?"" "Did you know that FoxhoIes is gone?" "Yes." "Spinoza has an explanation for that, too." "Every house is defined by the neighbouring houses... every demolition by neighbouring demoIitions." "Can you look after the guests?" "I'm on in a moment." "well, gIobetrotter, Iet's have a look at you." "Your eyes have changed." "I realised today that I can look back on 33 years." "Can you imagine?" "It's incredible." "Same age as Jesus." "Time to do something for your immortality." "I nearly died in Mexico." "Ladies and gentlemen, in honour of Poseidon, god of the sea... we present the poem, The Night Song of the Fish." "How can you stand it, alex?" "Everyone off in his own little corner?" ""There is no centre in this world of monads." ""We're closed off from the outside, windowless."" "As Leibniz says." "You look unwell, and unhappy." ""Pain is localised sorrow."" "As Spinoza says." "Stuff Spinoza!" "I want to know what's wrong with us." "The same thing that's wrong with everyone." "We are mirror images of the whole." "You drive me nuts!" "I'm not going to play this game, this solitude game." "I want to belong, to be needed." "Understand?" "Reinhard Dörr here." "The cutting room, please." "Dagmar?" "It's me." "No, it's a Mexican record." "I just wanted to say I'II be late." "Trixi, what are you doing here?" "Can I come in?" "Sure." "Are you skipping school?" "Have you seen Dagmar at the studio?" "Does she know you're here?" "Where did you get my address?" "I know everything." "well, what do you want?" "I want to be in films." "That's why you're skipping school." "You're writing a film, aren't you?" "I plan to." "What's it to do with you?" "Lots!" "I want to play the lead." "You have to know me better, so you can write it for me." "I'm 5'5"." "I Iike dancing... and nice clothes, and I'm good at kissing." "I see myself as a diplomat's daughter or a hollywood belle." "Do you know Brigitte Bardot?" "I travel the world, and men worship me." "In the film, I mean." "If you only knew." "please, Herr Dörr, Iet me be in it." "Why so formal?" "You're at Ieast 10 years older than me." "And a director." "Of the New German Cinema." "Shit, don't make me laugh." "Want some?" "Now, listen." "I've only just started writing." "I don't know how the story ends, or if I'II like it." "At the moment, I'm just sad... and that's why I'm writing." "I'm looking for images that make me sad." "I'm often sad." "37 days ago, I was in Tampico." "Can you imagine?" "On the coast of Mexico." "A famous Western's set there." "My God, and now I'm back here." "Is your film a Western?" "It's about a man travelling through the wilderness." "One day he gets homesick, and wants to be back with his friends." "But, when he gets home... the house is gone." "Get it?" "Burnt down by Apaches?" "Yes, if it was a Western." "But this is a modern story." "Now the wilderness is the city." "There are no more horses, only cars." "No more killers and outlaws... only respectable citizens, businesspeople, developers." "Too bad." "Why?" "Horses and Indians, the desert and the prairie, they're much more fun." "well, I don't know what'II become of this story... or how it'II turn out." "Is that your sister's lipstick?" "Very funny." "Anyway, I've no idea where the money's coming from." "I'II put in for a grant, but...." "It's just an idea, that's all." "Take me with you." "Where?" "Everywhere." "We'II write together and go to movies." "We'II think up a good story and be sad together." "please, I'm not a kid anymore, honestly." "Sometimes I feel ancient, and I'm only 33." "I always thought the older you got, the sadder you got." "With my sadness, I ought to be 1,000." "You're lonely, I can tell." "I'm off." "Bad conscience?" "You know what Dagmar says?" "What?" "When I'm dead... my finger will grow out of my grave like this." "And threaten you." "That's creepy." "My sister believes that stuff." "I won't tell her, I promise." "Good morning." "Good morning." "Can we run the sequence?" "Was that my little sister out there?" "I heard her voice." "Why didn't she come in?" "Your sister?" "Don't look so innocent." "I know she's after you." "Be careful, she's a little hussy, our Trixi." "Runs in the family." "Remember that?" "That was the morning we got lost." "We came down from Tampico in that old Land Rover." "An army jeep, full of bullet holes." "The night before, Rob met this guy, Don Gustavo... who insisted on fixing him up with a Mexican girl." "When I see these pictures, it all comes back to me." "In those subtropical places... at sunrise, it's still hot from the day before." "And so damp, you think you've got TB." "You sweat all night." "The dew's not cool, just sticky." "And Don Gustavo says, "Before you leave..." ""you must have a Mexican girl." ""Then you'II come back again."" "And will you?" "Sure." "Look at this." "Know who that was, Dagmar?" "The man with the red flag?" "Now listen to me." "You can't cut a film this way." "For three weeks, all I've heard is memories of these pictures." "Let me tell you, you can forget your memories." "You mean, the film's no good?" "I didn't say that." "There are good shots, they may make a good film." "And the cotton theme is fine." "But there's nothing in here of your memories." "Nothing of all that personal stuff." "We must forget all that, Dagmar's right." "Forget it?" "Never!" "What are you talking about?" "That trip was the high point of my Iife." "Every day was a jewel." "But we didn't bring the jewels home." "I brought myself home." "What if it isn't in the film?" "It's here in my head, every image forever and ever!" "Run it all again." "So you've heard about it, too?" "Jean-Marie told me." "I couldn't believe it." "That's why I'm here." "It looks so empty." "I can't imagine the house ever stood here." "And it's all somehow shrunk, don't you agree?" "How are you?" "It's been nearly two years." "This is lulu." "I heard that you're expecting a baby." "It's overdue." "AII I can do is wait." "Are you happy about it?" "Perhaps." "They say the hormones make you happy." "A lovely child." "She has your eyes." "I don't know." "I'd Iike to think so." "After Berg's heroine." "Schnüsschen doesn't like the name." "But you do?" "lulu was a wicked woman, you realise that?" "One day she'II make men suffer." "It's funny, meeting like this." "I wasn't expecting you at all." "What about your music?" "It's taking a break." "Can it?" "I'm a woman." "I'm going to marry VoIker." "So I heard." "How are things, otherwise?" "I'm writing a requiem:" "farewell to FoxhoIes." "So that's why you're here." "I'm going now." "So am I." "I'II see you." "I must talk to you." "You can't skip school every day and come here." "What is it now?" "I have a great secret." "I couldn't wait." "Can I tell you?" "Go ahead." "You need money, right?" "Yes, lots." "But don't you know anyone rich?" "No, I'II have to marry a rich widow." "Reinhard, I am so excited." "Have you got a cigarette?" "What's up?" "Are we going to rob a bank?" "You told me how much that woman made." "The one whose house was torn down." "Don't you get it?" "You know her and she is rich." "filthy rich." "Go and tell her your idea." "She'II give you the money... and you can make the film." "And I'II play the lead." "What did you say?" "It'II work, you are such a great storyteller." "tell it to her like you told me in the car." "She'II lap it up." "She has got millions." "And she is probably bored stiff." "You better hurry, other people may be after her, too." "Trixi, you're sweet." "Undo these." "Do you really think rich people are like that?" "Not all." "But maybe one." "One is enough." "What gave you the idea?" "Mary Queen of Scots." "I suddenly thought, "What a noble woman."" "Maybe there's one around today who'd pay for your film." "You've got a funny mind." "Are you disappointed?" "I don't even know where FräuIein CerphaI is." "Find her, then." "CERPHAL PUBLISHERS" "I know another person who has a claim on the house." "EveIyne?" "Maybe." "But someone else as well." "What?" "If I tell you, you'II have to go to Venice." "Venice?" "I had scribbled down my FoxhoIes Requiem in a few days... feeling irritable and unable to concentrate." "lulu had an ear infection, and kept me awake at night." "Schnüsschen wanted to give up her job... and was pressing me to earn money with my music, at last." "Reinhard needed someone to write the music for his cotton film... and my friends only reluctantly agreed to join a Requiem parade." "We marched down the street, dressed up and determined... but we hadn't rehearsed." "With every step, our music sounded worse." "I was ashamed." "But played through to the end." "What now?" "A funeral meal?" "A glass of wine at Renate's?" "Can you feel the spirits?" "They still haunt the place." "I've got goosefIesh." "I am sure the little fellow in there sensed something." "Did he give any sign?" "He doesn't like music, he goes all quiet when he hears it." "I think he is unmusical." "Thank God." "Let him find another torment." "It could mean just the opposite." "Anyway, I think he's a she." "Juan, are you really going back to South America?" "Yes." "I have no luck in your country." "You are the only one of us who still lives alone." "In a way, I envy you." "VoIker says we are like ships on the high seas... that have to sail under someone's flag." "It's all a question of whose:" "olga's... or HeIga's... or Schnüsschen's." "well, comrade?" "will he be a LichtbIau or a SchimmeIpfennig?" "In other words, when's the wedding?" "She's still against it and I must admit, LichtbIau is a nicer name." "There's not enough marrying." "In May, I sail from Genoa... in a beautiful white italian ship." "On the journey over I found an eternal love on that ship." "It lasted 1 1 days and nights." "As long as the crossing." "That won't happen again." "You are leaving in May?" "I Iove you all." "I'd Iike to invite you home." "Schnüsschen would love to see you." "I liked your Requiem." "I recognised the wolves motif." "Are you crazy?" "Where have you been, anyway?" "Stop that bloody thing at once!" "Get out, it's dangerous." "I'II flatten you all." "You and your sentimental crap." "I know how you feel, Juan." "For three months...." "I've been in a play and none of our dear friends has shown up." "Happy families." "I have an appointment." "Got to go." "Peace, friends." "Why don't we all go and see OIga's play?" "Why is everybody so touchy?" "I arranged this." "I composed this piece out of friendship." "Out of friendship." "And to mark this occasion." "What's past is past." "I know that." "FoxhoIes was only a house, the place where we used to meet." "But we have our whole lives ahead of us, damn it." "You act as if everything is lost." "Nothing is lost." "Just open your eyes and ears." "And why doesn't anybody say what they thought of my Requiem?" "I told you I liked it, at the rehearsal." "Music isn't my field but it was moving, here on this site." "olga, wait, I am coming." "I've had enough." "I am sorry, but this is all complete shit." "I am going for a beer with my musicians." "Your wife lets you out for the day?" "I shall escort you to the theatre." "You don't have to, alex." "I insist." "really?" "Let me be your only admirer, just for today." "What's wrong?" "A terrible headache." "Do you get them often?" "recently." "It'II pass." "I am going mad." "You are a genius, that's all." "Right, Trixi." "Time to get off." "It's about to leave." "You really can't come." "Why not?" "I don't see why." "Because your mother doesn't know." "Your sister doesn't know." "Because you are only 15." "And I don't know what will happen." "Stop trying it on all the time." "But I am your girlfriend." "I know." "I'II be back." "Mother?" "I am all wet." "My bed is wet." "It's running out of me." "Is it normal?" "Have the pains started?" "I don't think so." "Just sometimes." "I woke up with a pain." "shall I call Dr. Kirchmeier?" "You must know, Mother." "Is it starting?" "Have my waters burst?" "It was different with me." "3:00." "You overdid it today." "I told you not to go." "I can't relate to this child." "I am ashamed that I have no maternal feelings." "That will change when you see it." "When it loves you and needs you, you'II love it, too." "It's a stranger." "It needs everything from me and it's a complete stranger." "You have to get to know each other." "Was I a stranger?" "Later, when you grew up." "Then you were often a great stranger." "You know, you forget so quickly... what it was like, with children." "And VoIker...." "I don't really love him." "I try to because he is gentle and intelligent and patient." "I try to be the same." "He is a good musician." "almost a genius, sometimes." "almost." "I Iike him." "I worry about him." "He doesn't look well." "Is he ill?" "He has always looked like that." "It's all fate." "You can't choose who to spend your life with... your children or your husband." "Success, too, just comes or doesn't come." "Why do we work, then?" "Why do we fail in love?" "I don't know, CIarissa." "It all sounds so hopeless." "I am so happy about your baby." "I'II help you to bring it up." "I can't just take things as they come like that." "But you must." "First you must have your baby." "I'II call a taxi to take us to the hospital." "That's enough of this night fears." "That's all they are, night fears." "ESTHER GOLDBAUM PHOTOGRAPHER" "You can speak German." "You won't find FräuIein CerphaI here." "You're in my light." "I was told I couId find FräuIein CerphaI here." "Perhaps you can help me?" "Are you her niece?" "Who told you that?" "It was just a hunch." "You are Esther GoIdbaum?" "I am." "Out of the way." "They are almost medical, your pictures." "Case histories of sick cats?" "In Venice." "AII in Venice." "Shocked?" "What is your name?" "Reinhard Dörr." "I am a filmmaker from Munich." "Or rather I Iive there." "I am writing a screenplay about a Munich story." "A publisher's family, an heiress." "hold this." "Various heirs." "It's really about a house." "I am still researching." "Who said my aunt would be here?" "Is she coming?" "Don't you know?" "No idea." "I'II be here for a while." "Can I come again?" "will it be a feature film?" "I hope so." "Are these for an exhibition?" "A cat's-eye view of Venice?" "Something like that." "Come back in a few days." "Come on." "Coming up?" "Been seeing Venice?" "I have been thinking and writing." "I have something for you." "From my aunt." "Read it." "From Peru." "Posted six weeks ago." "It took all that time to get here." "Peru?" "I'II have a Iong wait, then." "Go ahead, read it." "After that she was going to Biarritz or somewhere." "Excuse me." "How is it going?" "Not too well." "I can't keep my room, they don't like me typing." "And it's awfully expensive here." "Venetians have their own inflation, just add a zero." "Come here." "You can work here." "You mean...." "It's free, there's no one to disturb." "The house is too big for me." "lovely light." "Afternoon sun." "I can't work in the morning, anyway." "Take it." "Fix it up to suit yourself." "It'II save you coming to ask all the time." "She is coming with Herr Gattinger?" "My father." "Gattinger?" "That oId" "Nazi." "Say it." "I am sorry." "I didn't mean to." "I didn't know." "Guessed...." "You can use it for your film." "Trixi, what's wrong?" "What is it?" "Nothing." "You can tell me." "Is it a boy?" "Leave me alone." "Okay." "I can look into the depths of your wicked little soul." "And what do I see?" "The end of a hollywood career." "Stupid cow!" "At least you have stopped bawIing." "One day it'II happen to you and you'II see how mean you were." "One day what will happen?" "Right, I've got it." "Seven seconds of musique concrète." "How does it sound?" "Look what I've got." "Venice." "It's from Reinhard." "In Venice." ""Dear OIga, I am on the track of a character here."" "I can't read this bit." ""I am learning about her as I write." ""What are you doing next spring?" ""I have got a wonderful part for you." ""Love from the city of dreamers and robbers, Reinhard."" "Go on." "Go on typing." "Stand up." "Over against the wall." "Take your vest off." "Turn around." "What do you want to see?" "Everything." "I never photograph people." "This is new for me, too." "Go to the window." "Lift your arms up." "Higher." "Now kneel down." "Didn't you have dysentery?" "It hurt like hell." "Where?" "In your stomach?" "Lower down." "clutch yourself, remember the pain..." "like your guts were being torn out." "Sorry." "Take your trousers off." "You'II pay for this." "You'II have to tell me everything." "Okay." "I want your whole life." "On your stomach." "What have I let myself in for?" "How many more?" "Not many." "Turn over." "Catch!" "Is he asleep?" "I want to go away." "To australia, preferably." "And little arnold?" "He looks at me so reproachfully." "You are imagining it." "He's always hungry." "I'm not enough for him." "He's never satisfied." "But he's gained weight." "Look at his chubby cheeks." "We have to get to know each other, arnold." "You were nine when your mother died in Dachau." "You had only one photo." "only one photo of the beautiful Jewess." "At night, in bed that photo hung next to you on the wall." "In that room, in that house, in Ticino, in switzerland... you were homesick and couldn't sleep." "Every morning you asked your aunt... when your mother was coming to fetch you." "Never an answer could you believe." "You were too young to understand what war meant or... that they'd betrayed her and sent her to Dachau." "Your Swiss aunt couldn't understand that, either." "One day the war was over." "But for you nothing had changed." "War was only a word." "Your mother seemed further and further away, until finally... she was just a photo." "A piece of paper, which you smelled... and licked, searching for some trace of your mother." "But she remained a piece of paper." "Perhaps, that paper made you a photographer." "You are rewriting me." "No, I'm telling you your own story." "It's too romantic, too German." "But very good." "I can feel it, ever since you've been here." "You're so afraid when a woman comes near you." ""alexander doesn't reply." ""He looks out the window at the haIf-moon over Venice."" "Have you got a woman in Munich?" "You needn't be afraid of me." "It's just a strange thought, that I'm giving you my Iife." "To make into a film." "I'm giving you my Iife." "You know what maddens me about writing?" "That no feeling is ever simple." "You ought to hate all Germans." "But you think and speak German." "You ought to hate Herr Gattinger, who made you... then betrayed your mother, to protect his Nazi career." "But you call him father." "He helped me to go to the Academy in florence." "He helped himself to your inheritance." "He and the CerphaIs." "But you love him." "Do you love him?" "Do you?" "Do I Iove him?" "Of course I do!" "Reinhard, what are you doing?" "I'm not one of those Nazi Jewesses!" "Don't write that." "It's kitsch and it's not true." "I'm only me!" "Come back and listen properly!" "What do you hear?" "What do you hear?" "It'II take weeks and weeks." "You can have the attic, my ex-husbands room." "I'II leave you alone, and you me, okay?" ""alexander turns on his back..." ""gazes up at the moon..." ""and says...."" ""'The haIf-moon shines in the sky..." ""the air is foggy and cold..." ""I hail thee, demigod of the heavens..." ""Like thee I'm half, not whole.'" ""Do you know that poem?"" ""Esther shakes her head."" ""I was born half good and half evil." ""But paltry in either course." ""My goodness lacking grandeur." ""My evil lacking force."" ""Esther gets up..." ""steals over to Reinhard..." ""sits on his lap..." ""and whispers comfortingIy in his ear:" ""'The moon is waxing!"'" "Is it really?" "When it's round on the right, it's waxing." "luckily for us...." "It's all right, it's all here." "For you." "She's lost all her money." "She's destitute, did you know that, child?" "I tried to warn her." "It was a completely harebrained scheme." "Some Frenchmen wanted to build a cultural institute in the mountains." "Doomed to failure from the start." "But she gave them two million." "Marks." "Gone for good." "How are you feeling?" "Don't play the innocent!" "You got me into this mess." "I should never have listened to you." "My father warned me about you." "Do you know what he said?" ""That Gattinger is a bad cheque." ""Like the whole Third Reich."" "You haven't learned a thing, GeroId." "It's not true." "I tried to warn her." "But this artist appeared and there was no stopping her." "My father's here, and my aunt." "Come in." "Don't we know each other from Munich?" "well!" "What was your name again?" "Dörr." "elisabeth, look who's here." "Reinhard's living here." "We're working together." "well, I've done my bit, once and for all." "You artists are bloodsuckers, absolute vampires." "For years they were all over my house, bleeding me dry." "Are you after me, too?" "I'm writing a screenplay, about Esther... and your house." "They only ever wanted my money." "Money, it's horrible." "Look at me." "In one year, I've aged 20." "It's horrible." "I wanted him to be goulash." "But he won't." "Maybe the other one will." "will you?" "That was my father." "My father was a fighter pilot." "He helped bomb Guernica." "He got a medal for it in '37." "He wore it next to his heart." "It looked just like a fried egg." "Another murderer?" "But nice." "He made my mother happy... at Ieast for a few years." "First I found you ugly." "well?" "The first photo's always the best." "How about the grain?" "It's good." "Go closer." "You know, I Iove your neck?" "It's so vulnerable." "Have you ever thought of being beheaded?" "The blade cutting into your neck... and coming out through your throat?" "I often imagine going to the scaffold." "How my heart pounds, and I start to panic." "But I keep walking." "It's just chance that we live in an age when such things don't happen." "unlike your mother, in the Third Reich." "My mother was gassed, not beheaded." "If only I knew why I told you my story." "As if I'd been waiting to get rid of it." "Your story is my story now." "296 pages!" "Don't you want to read it?" "Don't you want to read it?" "Later." "Now you'II leave me." "Let me out, please!" "You were my prisoner all the time." "I must go back to Munich, to see what's real and what I've invented." "Maybe it doesn't even exist." "No one ever listened to me for so long." "If I stay here, I'II never make this film." "Have you got me now?" "Is your curiosity satisfied?" "Have you got me?" "I'II be back!" "1 1 days ago I was in Venice." "Can you imagine?" "The whole city under water." "And now, I'm back here." "Right, they're ready." "Don't open them yet, the glue's not dry." "I'd Iike one for my leading lady." "Of course, that's different." "May I introduce myself?" "HösI." "I'm a real film fan." "As a kid, I went around with a travelling cinema." "I knew all the actors in those days." "Just a moment." "May I have your autograph?" "Mine?" "Better get used to it, olga!" "Your name?" "HösI." "With an "e"?" "No, just "s-I."" "Trixi!" "It's been ages!" "I've finished the screenplay." "Look!" "Traitor!" "Don't be like that." "Five weeks I waited for you!" "And you never sent one word!" "Waited?" "It was all my idea." "Everything's changed, Trixi." "I'II tell you about it soon, okay?" "Phoney!" "I'II never speak to you again." "Has she got a crush on you?" "I'm so happy it's starting at last." "I've waited so long." "Get in, I won't be long." "I won't disappoint you!" "What'II you have?" "Coffee?" "Now listen, Trixi." "In this film... there's a really great little part for you." "honestly." "So?" "Esther, you know, the lead... she's much older than you." "She was in the war, you see?" "And she has dark hair." "Like OIga?" "Yes, well, she'II have to dye it." "You know what, Reinhard?" "You're a stupid wimp!" "You'II never make a decent film." "blonde, dark, Munich, Mexico." "And best wishes from Venice." ""I've got a wonderful part for you."" "You know what you are?" "A straw in the wind." "FIuttering around, dipping... and bobbing." "Like this!" "Wimp!" "Drop dead, Reinhard!" "shall I open the window?" "No, there's an awful draught back here." "It's misting up." "Wait, I'II fix it." "Just press the knob." "Let me do it, I can manage." "Press it, and then what?" "I think he's hungry." "He's just tired, obviously." "You sound like my mother." "well, our Simone's sleeping." "Hermann, close the window." "Where are we?" "Can't be far now." "The sooner we get there, the better." "What if Rob's not home?" "He's always home at weekends." "True." "You can't go any faster?" "What a load!" "You said it!" "AII right, Simone, all right." "Get the pram, Hermann." "What do you think I am doing?" "AII right, my love." "Where's Mummy's little baby?" "Why did they cut his head off?" "St. AIban spread the word of God... and that made him many enemies." "finally he was beheaded for it." "He looks as if he could put it back on again." "You're right." "For that is what Christ tells us:" ""He that believeth in me hath everlasting life."" "Where is CIarissa?" "In the church, I think." "Is there anyone in that boat?" "I can't see anyone." "It must have come adrift." "What's that?" "Looks like a patrol boat." "There must have been an accident." "Has anyone seen Reinhard?" "No, why?" "I've called the Lake patrol." "Why?" "What's happened?" "Have you found anything?" "Not yet." "Reinhard went out very early in our boat." "He wanted to think about the script." "Has something happened to him?" "Reinhard was in that boat." "Found anything?" "Nothing." "He was bobbing about, but...." "Herr Stürmer, can I have a word?" "You knew him?" "He had a screenplay with him." "A4, bound." "title Esther." "Age?" "33." "From here?" "No, Munich, WiIheImstrasse, 4." "Anything else you can tell us?" "I can still see your face before me..." "I still hold my heart in check." "Sometimes it's too much, and I want to drop the film and run back to you." "But how could I face you, without having told Esther's story?" "It's my way of loving you." "Isn't it?" "Reinhard." "COAST GUARD" "THE SECOND HEIMAT" "CHRONICLE OF A GENERATION IN 13 FILMS" "1 1" " A Time of silence" " Rob, 1967I68" "bloody freezing!" "Since Reinhard had disappeared in the Ammersee... that Sunday in March... my Iife had changed completely." "He had been our author." "He'd done the thinking and planning for us." "He'd thought up the projects, and written the stories." "Now, he'd become a story himself." "still more stories grew up around his disappearance." "And as his body was never found... we could never quite dismiss them." "Stories that he'd been seen in Renate's club... at the airport... or in Venice." "Reinhard once said.:" ""Everything important in life is invisible..." ""and escapes the camera's eye." ""Love..." ""what people think and feel..." ""death. "" "Now, his own death was a proof of his theory." "So it seemed." "I grew up on the banks of this Bavarian lake." "My father was a forester." "Nobody ever said very much in our family." "But we always knew exactly what the others were thinking." "Using your eyes." "I learnt that from my father." "That's why I always disagreed with Reinhard." "I became a cameraman... because I distrusted words." "unlike Reinhard, down there among the fish... as silent as he." "Bavarian beer's so watery." "Watery?" "Runny." "Hey, clemens, when do we get paid?" "No problem, 50 marks each." "50 marks?" "That's exactly what I owe you." "Want to pay me back now?" "AII right, you keep it." "Thank you." "Come back!" "That's our boat!" "Sorry, I thought it was just lying around." "I just wanted to borrow it." "I'm a photographer." "So?" "You might have asked." "The lake's so agitated at the moment." "A friend of mine drowned here." "My father." "pleased to meet you." "She's a friend of Reinhard's." "A photographer." "I wanted to photograph Reinhard's grave." "But the lake looks so grey and dull and Bavarian." "Don't you believe it?" "You can come with us, if you Iike." "Give us a push." "That put paid to the story that Reinhard was holed up in Venice." "So, this was his Venetian love." ""An unlucky person, " my mother said... when she met Esther that morning." "What about next week?" "There's a gig in Starnberg." "I see." "50 marks." "In the winter of '67-'68... we were having trouble making ends meet." "Often we didn't know where the next month's rent was coming from." "The money that Schnüsschen earned... was hardly enough for food, and for lulu... who kept growing out of her clothes." "clemens was often our last hope." "He was good for an occasional Ioan." "He got me small jobs at country carnivaIs... weddings, and village festivals." "Now that Reinhard was dead... there were no more commissions for film music." "And I never heard from the others at all." "The days dragged on so slowly." "I slept till noon, racked my brains... played with lulu... and never had one single, solitary musical idea." "You don't know how fond I am of you." "You and lulu." "In different ways, I hope." "Quiet, maybe she'II stay asleep." "Mummy, I'm awake." "Good morning, sweetheart." "Awake already?" "My little bunny." "I've got a confession to make." "Can I tell you?" "I'm listening." "You won't be angry?" "Of course not." "Promise?" "Go on." "Yesterday, I was in the ScheIIingstrasse." "You know, that smart boutique on the right?" "There was this dress in the window." "You can't imagine how gorgeous it was." "I stood there for ages with lulu... and then I saw this little hat at the back of the shop." "A sunhat, Iike I always wanted for her." "So I went in and tried the dress on, just for fun." "And it fitted!" "When I asked the price... the girl said it was a real designer model... a Pierre Cardin." "And it cost 600 marks!" "well, I ran out doubIe-quick." "Then the owner called me back... and said I couId have it for 300." "It was the Iast one, and size 10." "That's too small for most people." "So I tried it on again." "And it fitted like a glove." "Size 10 and all." "So you bought it?" "shall I put it on?" "lulu, you're wide awake." "I'II get you!" "Come...here." "You women are a mystery to me." "Wow, look at that!" "really wonderful." "Look at Mummy." "Isn't she pretty?" "real fox." "And I've just paid CIemens back." "So we're flat broke." "Looks like it." "How do we get through the rest of the month?" "Come with me." "This is ridiculous." "Coward." "I know the place." "It's staged for the tourists." "Just a sop to consciences in Dachau and Munich." "No one really faces the post here." "It's shameful." "I want you to come with me." "I want to say goodbye to my mother." "Listen to me, Esther." "Dachau was an internment camp for dissidents." "There were no women here." "Your mother was never in Dachau." "Those are just stupid stories." "believe me, there were no women here." "Go and ask." "See for yourself." "But don't drag me in there to hear what I already know." "Whatever you say about that time is a lie." "You lie, just like the rest of them." "Esther, I admit to what I did." "unlike the ones back in government." "They were the liars." "You're right here." "You're so stubborn!" "What good can it do?" "Take a good look." "Look here, here...." "Now tell me what really happened to my mother." "First they put her into StadeIheim Prison, in Munich." "From there, she was taken to Ravensbrück in mecklenburg." "Then we managed to get her moved to Moringen." "She was safe there for a time." "She could have survived there, too." "They bred siIkworms... for parachutes." "SiIkworms." "In November '44, they closed the camp." "That's all I know." "I'II wait for you in town, in the restaurant." "You'II be hungry." "There's no trace of her left." "No trace of any of those who were tormented... and tortured to death here." "Nothing left to see, or to hear." "It's all so clean and tidy." "Look at that wreath..." "laid by some hypocrite politician to salve his conscience." "Thousands of photographs have been taken of this place." "I see it clearly." "How they've all stood here, taking their snaps... first one, and then the other..." "like dogs lifting their legs, because all the other dogs have lifted theirs." "Photography is just the same." "I shall give it up." "Resistance Square" "What'II you have?" "A cutIet?" "Or the hotpot?" "What was it like in Dachau?" "I took the worst photographs of my Iife today." "Don't run into the road." "Here we are." "Ring the bell." "Down you go!" "Give us your cap." "shall we find LoIIo?" "There he is!" "LoIIo!" "Look, arnold's supper." "You look great!" "Here's Papa." "I've ruined us, buying this." "I've got nowhere else to wear it." "Chic, eh?" "Just a minute." "We've got oil, margarine... crispbread and greens." "Here." "Good." "Can we use it?" "I'm sure we can." "The fish is the main thing." "Hermann, give me your things." "I have a new piano." "Your own?" "Rented." "Come and see." "beautiful." "You have a piano." "Not bad, eh?" "shall I cut its head off, or not?" "will you?" "Come on, Iet me do it." "If that's from the Ammersee..." "I couldn't eat it." "I didn't ask where it came from." "I just liked the look of it." "I bought it without even asking what it was." "Fish that size come from the sea." "I'd Iike to be sure." "Let's have a look." ""Crucian." Never heard of it." ""Success for German film." ""At this year's Cannes festival..." ""there was much praise for a German entry."" ""In the individual awards category..." ""the Isar film Company of Munich..." ""took the prize for best music."" ""ConsuI TheobaId Handschuh..." ""majority owner and director..." ""of the largest German industrial and documentary film company..." ""accepted the prize on behalf of the composer, H. Simon."" "It says that in the paper?" "Of course." "Today's paper." "The business section." "H. Simon." "That's you!" "surely they'd have told you." "Let me see." ""The film, a documentary on cotton production..." ""was particularly noted for its artistic merit."" "That's the film you did with Reinhard!" "I couldn't sleep all night." "What'II we do?" "Have you got some change so I can go and phone?" "Cash in some trading stamps." "AII night, I'd had visions of the paradise awaiting me." "Fame, a prize, money, new commissions, new people." "Visions like these had tormented me as a boy." "I knew that they'd come true... but that I'd have to wait forever." "A whole lifetime, waiting for what was bound to happen." "But I never knew when." "So I went to see consul Handschuh." "consul for Sauru, a South Sea island I'd never heard of." "And head of Isar film, where Stefan and Reinhard had worked." "My dear fellow..." "let me tell you my vision." "I'd Iike you to set up a studio... for electronic music here." "What do you say to that?" "I'd Iike you to be able to... explore the potential of electronic composition... free from commercial constraints." "My vision... is of an entirely new tonal language." "A completely unprecedented... acoustic approach... to advertising on radio." "Got that?" "On radio and television." "I want you to be free, free as a bird." "No jingIes for beer or detergents." "Don't be alarmed." "AII I want... is to break new ground with you." "Don't tell anyone, but I wanted to be a composer, myself." "And then the war." "Poppet!" "Sweetheart." "This is the certificate... we got for the film." "Look at the Iast line, Catégorie Musique..." "Hermann W. Simon." "It's yours." "Can we come in?" "Hermann's not home." "He's in town... on important business." "And you?" "Are you a student, too?" "No, I'm not." "So I can't be of much help." "Workers can be even more help." "I'm not a worker, I'm with a travel bureau." "Have a seat." "Thank you." "You could get your clients to sign this petition." "I don't know what my boss would say." "You're not going to ask him, are you?" "I don't think he'd be very pleased." "You'II have to do it behind his back." "I know him very well." "I couldn't possibly do that." "I don't mind you waiting for Hermann... as long as you're quiet and don't wake the baby." "I'm afraid I can't offer you anything, not even a cup of tea." "We're broke just now." "In the past I would have left everything to Reinhard." "But now, I was the author." "More than that, the inventor of a new kind of cinematic perpetuum mobile." "One of the houses at the lake belonged to my parents... or rather, to the forestry commission my father worked for." "I'd been experimenting there since the autumn." "For the consul." "No Entry" "He paid for everything... the building materials, the technicians, the equipment... and everything else I needed." "I'd never been so happy." "Herr Stürmer!" "Good morning." "How do we get into our secret lab?" "This way." "careful!" "Watch out, it's slippery." "You won't recognise your friend." "He's a real visual genius, with an astonishing eye... and a voracious appetite for images." "This way, please." "For heaven's sake, ZieIke." "I'd planned to use a boat, but the lake froze over." "Take a seat, Herr consul." "Me?" "I'II try anything, once." "Easy does it." "Jump, ZieIke!" "I've set up the screens and projectors on a scale of 1 to 7... to give us the impression of overhead screens." "Do sit down." "So we'II be going in under the boathouse floor." "Stutzi, heave-ho!" "Here goes." "I hope this is safe, Herr Stürmer." "Don't worry, the ice will hold." "I'II put a row of projectors here." "There will be 16 cinematic projectors." "God, universe." "galaxy." "Sun." "Earth." "Sea." "Continent." "Country." "Town, village." "Street, house." "Room, bed." "pillow." "I." "I." "The audience will walk over an expanse of water...." "Great!" "Like Jesus?" "...which we'II project... onto a shiny black floor." "The projection will hit the audience, too... making them into screens themselves, producing new pictures as they move." "And above their heads, we'II have the various themes." "Man and the Universe." "The secrets that lie on the floors of lakes." "On the floors of lakes?" "Utopian dreams, the Iast visions of the drowned." "Reinhard...." "Herr Simon, you'II write the music of the spheres for this." ""The sun makes music as of old."" "Goethe's vision realised... in our electronic studio." "Yes?" "May I come in?" "Hermann, I warn you." "They've been waiting for you for hours." "I want to know how it went." "Look." "From now, it'II all be different." "To sum up, the root of the evil... is the judicial system." "Look at the Emergency Laws." "They're not only superfluous... but positively dangerous." "We've been waiting for hours." "We won't keep you." "Just sign this." "Sign what?" "hello, HeIga." ""American imperialist aggression in Vietnam, in the Third world."" "They've started to burn people with napalm." "Death isn't a private matter anymore." "We want to invite you to a teach-in, too." "Wednesday at 8:00." "Lecture Room 702." "That includes the chancellor, with his Nazi past." "Do you mind?" "We've go to go." "But I can prove it." "Did you know Reinhard's dead?" "I've heard." "And your poetry?" "I just wanted to set some more of it to music." "You've completely changed." "Sometimes there are more important things than poetry." "We intellectuals are responsible for the democracy in this country." "That's where most German artists failed, in 1933." "It mustn't happen again." "I've had enough of your endless talk." "And all this smoke is bad for the baby." "You know what, I'm kicking you out." "Besides, I want to be alone with Hermann." "I'm sorry, I've had as much as I can take." "Kathrin, come here." "When you're a big girl, you can join us." "Come here, poppet." "Goodbye." "Enjoy your solitude." "They're just jealous." "Didn't you see?" "Now tell me what happened." "A certificate, but no money." "I'm to set up a studio." "I've told you that already." "I don't feel like talking about it." "CERPHAL PUBLISHERS" "Excuse me." "Hush, they're working." "Esther." "How lovely to see you." "I'm so glad you've come." "These students are fixing up my dissertation." "I've too much imagination for academic work." "But my history of the firm... that's coming along nicely." "Dr. Beck's found me an absolutely charming writer." "Now we can talk, child." "Nothing fits." "Everything I see here is hiding something." "Covering its traces." "Germany is a book with its pages torn out." "You need to get your bearings." "It's your first time here." "How can you understand it all at once?" "Let alone take pictures of it." "I did invite you years ago." "When our house was still standing." "The house where I was born has gone, too." "The war destroyed so much, forever." "But I'm glad you've found your way home at last." "You're all so nice, so positive, so open." "When I Iook at you, I think... what a nice old thing." "But what are you really like?" "What are you hiding?" "This house...." "Why is there no trace of my family, who lived here?" "Where did my grandmother work?" "Where did my mother sleep?" "Where did they live and love... and celebrate and suffer?" "Where were they afraid?" "Where was my mother when they came for her?" "There's a display case upstairs." "The GoIdbaum mementos are in there." "Another memorial." "You tidy everything away." "Or else it's at the bottom of a deep lake." "The consul made us his advisers." "One day he even took us with him to his backers." "That was something new." "That someone could get more credit... by having me there, or Rob... with our experiments and ideas." "Modern man can process 1,000 impressions at the same time." "Take your driver." "How much does he have to respond to all at once?" "It's the same in modern art." "Life is a multimedia show, non-stop." "Is that true, Herr Bittner?" "Pretty well, Herr consul." "gentlemen, we're not just talking about an audio-visuaI work of art." "It's a whole exhibition:" ""Transport in the Modern world."" "Don't forget, your dreams cost money, lots of money." "Anyway, we're getting rid of the proscenium screen." "film isn't theatre." "We can change all that." "No curtain up, no curtain down." "Permanent performance." "Remember, Herr ZieIke, we're not selling ideas." "The customer has the ideas, remember that, gentlemen." "I'm trying to see it all musically." "No one here, just King Ludwig." "consul Handschuh?" "Von Schweinitz." "How do you do." "FräuIein Brandstätter, Herr Simon." "Herr Stürmer." "Do sit down." "Hand out the proposals." "ZieIke, Isar films, nice to meet you." "Herr ZieIke, over there, please." "Come closer, Erika." "That's better." "presentation financial plan" "That's an exhibition site." "I'II start the presentation." "Ladies and gentlemen." "We shan't give you the usual pitch... the conventional clichés." "We're proposing something entirely new." "I know your time is precious." "So we hope you will give the go-ahead today... to a concept... which will soon become... a household word." "What's VariaVision?" "VariaVision." "Thank you, gentlemen." "He's more trouble than they are." "Hermann and I had mane up the title "VariaVision" for fun." "But there and then it became real." "It became a key word for us and gave a name... to everything that was to follow." "Even Herr ZieIke, Isar film's jealous resident director... felt part of the project... and wanted to join us in breaking new ground." "We we're the pioneers of film art." "I've know Herr ZieIke since 1944." "We were on the Eastern Front together, in bialystok." "He was a captain in the propaganda division... and I was a Iance-corporaI in the Ack-Ack." "He shot our retreat to look like an advance." "An advance?" "GoebbeI's orders." "Germans had to march from left to right." "That meant victory." "So he filmed from left to right." "He dreamed at making feature films." "Worked at BabeIsberg before the war." "And after the war?" "He was always an aesthete." "Even in the war." "We need aesthetes in advertising." "So I took him on." "shall we start?" "Right, Herr Bittner?" "Right, Herr consul." "Our project had become our life." "It gave us a completely new feeling of togetherness." "No one thought of office hours, of free evenings or overtime." "We were workaholics." "And everybody participated." "The engineers, the assistants, the studio teams... and our fat boss, who gave us all a free hand." "When we came out of the tunnel, you should've filmed that." "We did." "But you didn't look through the camera." "Which one?" "You have to look when you're filming." "How?" "I haven't got four pairs of eyes." "We have four separate cameras... to give us a single panorama." "Is it running yet?" "Not yet." "Now." "This is my electronic studio." "What do you think?" "This is a brand new mixing table from england." "Of course, we haven't sorted it all out yet." "I've no real idea of it's potential." "But this... is our vocoder." "Six channels." "It makes the sound generators respond to the human voice." "Do you realise what that means?" "That sawtooth generator there." "I can make it talk." "I can make a VW engine talk." "I can break down human voices into their elements... and synthesise them." "I can turn speech into music... and vice versa." "And all thanks to Herr Gross here." "Among others." "I've got the parts for the ring modulator." "wonderful." "Another little toy I'd Iike to show you...." "Here, play something." "Yes." "What's that?" "A by-product for commercial use." "For musicians who still need a keyboard." "That reminds me." "I've told you about my project." "Mixing electronic sound generators and acoustic instruments." "I remember." "You know, we don't splice anymore." "We synthesise." "sleep my child" "sleep now and rest" "See how the sun" "Sinks in the west" "Beyond the mountains" "It fades like a breath" "You know nothing" "Of sun or of death" "Turn your eyes" "To the reddening rays" "sleep, many suns will light your way" "sleep my child" "sleep the night away" "sleep my child" "The evening wind blows" "Where does it come from" "And where does it go?" "Dark are the paths and bordered with fear" "For you and for me" "And for all of us here" "blindly we travel lonely and free" "No one is anyone's company" "sleep my child" "Don't listen to me" "What I have learned" "Means nothing to thee" "It's the wall of the wind and the rush of the rain" "Words only words all of my pain" "What I have won will die with me" "No one is anyone's legacy" "Is something wrong?" "Do you want to tell me?" "please yourself." "Are you hungry?" "Maybe." "I'II get us something." "Don't go in to arnold, he's asleep." "What do you think of the Isar film project?" "Depends on what they make of it." "It won't work." "Hermann's not up to it." "He's mesmerised by the technical possibilities." "A studio of one's own." "Who could resist?" "But a thing like that... is too much for one man." "Did you quarrel?" "I Ieft before we could start." "Seeing is more than believing." "Seeing is knowing." "When I see, I know the truth." "Which truth, Herr Stürmer?" "There are some false truths, terrible ones, I know." "Yeah." "Retreat as advance, Herr ZieIke." "How cold was it?" "cold." "We're frozen stiff, but we survived." "The worst was the headwind." "But I told him to go faster." "And the shots we got." "unlike this music of yours." "It sounds awful." "I've got used to it." "It'II take some beating." "Can we try the vocoder?" "Now?" "I can hardly see straight anymore." "Have some of this, Herr Gross." "I'm so glad this firm is going places at last." "I really enjoy working with you." "I've been meaning to tell you." "I enjoy it, too." "This is a nice game." "really a very nice game." "She's asleep." "VoIker, I just can't imagine how you and CIarissa...." "God, this is embarrassing..." "I mean, I just can't imagine you in bed together." "I always think you must call her FräuIein LichtbIau." "You'II laugh, but I did once, just for fun." "It used to be common practice in France." "Among aristocrats, you mean?" ""I kiss your hand, Madame. "" ""You're a cad, Monsieur. "" "I'd laugh, and that'd be the end of love." "But your parents weren't like that, were they?" "What were they like?" "I hardly knew my father." "They split up when I was a baby." "My father was a bandleader in the navy." "After the war, he was nothing." "He played the violin in nightclubs... till my mother left him." "VoIker, you're a funny guy." "shall I tell you something?" "Do." "You could be really special." "And a really great artist, if...." "If?" "If you weren't so shit scared... of showing your feelings." "I can't call you Schnüsschen." "It's too silly." "What's your real name again?" "That's even worse." "Hermann feels so far away now." "For the first time, I don't know anything about him." "What he's doing, or thinking." "We hardly see each other." "When I leave for work, he's still asleep." "And when he comes home, I'm asleep." "He sits there for hours, writing music... and staring out into the night." "This Isar film, I don't like it at all." "I envy him." "Is that why you've come to talk to him so late?" "You're supposed to be friends." "Why don't you do something together?" "A concert, or something just for fun." "I ask myself the same thing." "I'II suggest something to him." "You know, I envy CIarissa." "WaItraud." "That wasn't very kind of your parents." "We were seven kids." "You try finding seven decent names." "Hungry?" "Eat." "Forgive me." "They've just ditched me." "Dropped me without a word." "That's what I can't get over." "You mean Hermann and the others?" "For years we tried... to start an electronic music studio together." "I know what's wrong." "Hermann's a composer, and you're a composer." "That's one too many." "Why do you all have to be composers?" "You all want to be immortal." "It's ridiculous." "I'd Iike you to go now." "I'm glad you came." "Come again, VoIker." "I mean it." "Bye." "shall I guess the time?" "Nobody will believe I worked this late." "3:00?" "3:15." "It's only natural, when you Iike each other." "We spend so much time together." "AII day." "Know what I mean?" "I'm nervous." "Of your wife?" "She says I'm a terrible liar." "She's probably right." "tell her the truth." "I'm not taking anything away from her." "Safe journey home." "I'II walk, get some fresh air." "shall I say "Herr Simon" tomorrow?" "Do you think you should?" "Our firm's a little small." "Very well, FräuIein Brandstätter." "It was very nice, Erika." "Yes, Hermann, a very nice game." "Do you know how late it is?" "I had a breakdown." "In Rob's car." "At least I get to see you for a change." "I've forgotten what you look like." "You're lucky with the nanny." "She's like a big sister to lulu." "We were that young once, not so long ago." "Do you sometimes feel ancient, too?" "Sometimes." "But sometimes I think life hasn't even begun." "Sometimes I think it's nearly over." "Bring arnold over to play with lulu more often." "Then you'II have time for the cello." "No, I've given up the cello." "I've stopped for too long, I can't start again." "I wouldn't know." "And I'd feel guilty." "Towards VoIker and the baby." "You know what makes me feel guilty?" "AII this money we've got suddenly." "only two months ago I bought that designer dress, remember?" "Now, I couId easily buy another." "I'm scared." "I think that someday I'II have to pay for all of this..." "and the worst will happen." "Not necessarily." "Who says this?" "There are people who earn a Iot more than you." "Nothing will happen." "Do you think it will snow again?" "You know that I didn't like you?" "I know." "And I know why." "Because you were Hermann's great love." "Things were going so well for us when you turned up." "Then everyone started getting married." "AII our friends, it was like an epidemic." "I did it myself in the end." "Though I'd sworn I never would." "You were a crazy bunch at FoxhoIes." "It wouldn't have lasted much longer." "Someone would have killed themselves, or gone mad or something." "It was a dream." "Hermann never wrote a song for me." "For you, but not for me." "I always wanted that, so very much." "But do you think I couId tell him?" "I'd rather cut out my tongue." "CIarissa, that's my tragedy." "You know what my tragedy is?" "I long so much for that other love." "For songs, poems, dreams, and things." "But everyone thinks I'm just practical." "Someday I'II just leave." "Leave the baby and the housework, go south and write a romantic novel." "That'd show you!" "Or I'II have an affair with an Arab sheik." "I'm so unhappy." "You were all so different." "I so wanted to be like you." "Is it because I didn't go to University?" "Why is it?" "I know that in his heart Hermann left me long ago." "He looks down on me, because I don't understand about art." "Is that why he looks down on me?" "But I'm a woman." "A woman like you, with the same feelings as you." "Don't cry, Schnüsschen, you're okay." "arnold's crying." "Where is he?" "My darling...." "Is Mummy sad?" "Come on, we'II go for a walk." "My baby, my sweetie-pie." "First, we'II put your sled away." "hold on." "Soon, soon." "AII right, love." "Mother!" "You take him for a change." "Want to play?" "Where have you been so long?" "Your fridge is starting to smell." "I've cleaned the whole place up." "There was dust an inch thick on your cello." "Don't you practice anymore?" "Put him to bed, he's asleep." "Your mother's come to see you." "She's been waiting for four hours." "I've got to go." "Where now?" "Remember me?" "The doctor never said anything." "He'II understand when he sees the cello." "Just go." "But he won't be long." "Don't you want to wait?" "No, my train...." "Just tell him...." "Thank you, but I don't need it anymore." "It was just a Ioan." "Esther...." "Let me tell you a secret." "The top two storeys... belong to me." "That's your secret?" "The flats are rented now." "But soon..." "I can sign some of them over to you." "As restitution?" "Your aunt doesn't know." "You needn't mention it." "Aren't you pleased?" "What's wrong?" "What is it?" "He loves her she loves him not she seeks him she wouldn't fight him and she...." "I'm too lowbrow for you, am I?" "I'm sick of being pushed aside on this project." "It's nearly done and you'II get more credit than you deserve." "It's you and Herr Simon who've got more than you deserve." "He's got a whole music studio." "You've got a safe job and no worries about the future." "Carte blanche for your wild ideas... at other people's expense." "This has nothing to do with modern transport anymore." "I always respected my commission." "As a director." "The difference between us is that I'm not afraid." "What do you know about being afraid?" "Upstart!" "Looks great." "We're nearly ready." "Now the cover...." "You shouldn't have gone to all that trouble." "How's it look?" "Fine." "Perfect fit." "Now this one." "It fits, too." "Herr Gross, roll it!" "Tape 1 rolling." "The ghost in the gutter!" "will it hold?" "It'II hold." "But dirt can get in." "We'II take care of that later." "You've done a tremendous job." "Magnificent." "Herr Gross!" "Ready?" "Three, two, one, go!" "On it went, past telegraph poles and pig farms." ""On the right, cattle and poor land." ""With a woman's instinct, she knew that fate awaited her in DuImen." ""But nothing awaited there."" ""FaII in love, change, expand..." ""grasp, lose, desire."" "Upstarts!" "They'II get their comeuppance yet!" "The boss must be mad, letting them use him like this." "That's me." "well." "AII right." "Yes, it's fine." "You like it?" "really?" "You did a great job." "Yes, really." "Don't you see it's crap?" "What's that supposed to mean?" "I'II tell you." "The thing is, we're trying...." "Don't explain." "It's just private wanking." "What do you mean, private?" "I mean Iounging and love and crummy villages." "You don't like it." "That's no argument." "Pure formalism." "Listen to this shit." "The music's the worst." "I reject this stuff." "What should we be doing, then?" "Just because you don't like the placements...." "What's the point?" "Doesn't mean it's private." "It has absolutely no political awareness." "What do you call political?" "Not reciting fucking villages, anyway." "Put the fuse in, I can't see a thing." "Hang on." "Today's the 18th." "Has been for three hours." "Reinhard...." "It's a year today." "A year ago today, a friend of ours drowned in the Ammersee." "We should include a homage to him in our work." "How about going out there right now?" "It'II soon be light!" "When I was 16, I thought the future... would be something that would approach me...." "The future...." "I thought I just needed to wait." "I was hunting with my father." "You sit there, forget what you want... observe, and then suddenly the game approaches." "Reinhard also waited." "He might have made a good film." "Or a bad one." "We just don't know." "You weren't his friend." "I spent seven months with Reinhard in Mexico." "In my opinion someone lies down there who had a good deck of cards." "We must push ourselves." "That's all that counts." "Pity HeIga's gone." "Yes, pity." "There are always fewer of us." "Why is that?" "Where did it happen?" "Over there." "A year ago, to the day." "You're in shot." "For me, the Ammersee means Reinhard." "Duck." "We're casting shadows." "Shadows!" "Homage to Reinhard." "It can't be...." "I'II be right back." "Trixi, what are you doing here?" "Come in to breakfast." "You make breakfast, and I'II eat what I want, okay?" "You're here for Reinhard?" "Sad." "Who cares if a person dies?" "You scare me." "You scare me." "Just a minute." "This won't take long." "I was here first!" "Where's Hermann?" "I've been looking for him for days." "Have you tried the exhibition site?" "They won't let me in." "HeIga, this isn't a good moment...." "Excuse me." "Don't be so bloody business-Iike." "You'II be seeing him tonight, won't you?" "I've hardly seen him for months." "The exhibition site is your best bet." "Herr MerkeI, two reservations for the Marina hotel, Rimini." "I've told you, I've just been there." "They wouldn't let me in." "I must serve this gentleman." "Sit down, I'II be there in a minute." "I'm coming." "The Passion play in Oberammergau is once every 10 years." "You have to book early, the hotels are always full." "Or you might consider RuhpoIding." "A nice quiet spot, and very near." "There are wonderful walks." "Excuse me just a moment." "I'II be right back." "It's all right, Herr MerkeI, they're friends of my husband's." "It's peak season now, I just haven't a moment." "Sorry, I couldn't attend to you earlier." "What do you mean, "attend"?" "I worked like a dog, and they haven't paid me." "I'm sure they've just forgotten." "AII they think of is their project." "They work night and day, even on weekends." "AII this nice weather, and they don't even notice." "Nor, what's going on in the world, eh?" "well, they're not vegetating." "I want you to give Hermann this." "There's a letter with it." "It's a text I want him to add." "It's by me and the comrades." "A political statement, so that it'II have some political awareness." "Which it won't have otherwise." "tell him it's exploitation of the workers... if I don't get my money." "I'II tell him about the money." "But as for the text...." "You can do that yourself." "Goodbye." "I'm sure he's there." "Here, quick." "Here he comes with his bloody dog." "Get down from there!" "What?" "Down!" "Why?" "You're trespassing." "Do you have a pass?" "We don't need passes!" "Were you invited?" "We've got to get in." "Understand?" "Not here." "That's why there's a fence." "call your dog off!" "filthy cur!" "Have you got a Iicence for it?" "The day of our premiere came too soon." "First it had been February 5." "But it was moved forward, to suit a group of international journalists." "We slaved day and night to make the new deadline." "A fortnight earlier." "It was crazy." "We never had a concrete run-through." "For a year, we'd worked to the highest standards... of perfectionist care." "Now, it was just a race to get things off the ground, at all." "We were all in." "Ladies and gentlemen!" "Before we enter the hall... on this historic occasion..." "I'd Iike to make a few preliminary remarks." "It was my aim from the start... to revolutionise our concept of film." "please help yourselves." "From it's earliest beginnings, film has been simply... the presentation of moving pictures... on a stage." "The screen is on a stage, behind the curtain, Iike an actor." "And when the curtain rises, the performance begins." "But I ask you, isn't this... just a pointless imitation of the theatre?" "What's wrong?" "There's a fault somewhere." "What kind of fault?" "I don't know." "Picture or sound?" "Picture." "Which projector?" "Number 3." "I'II take a look." "Give me a torch." "careful on the scaffolding." "It's only temporary." "What's wrong?" "Number 3's on the blink." "tell Erika." "Erika." "We have a problem." "We need more time." "He's still talking." "Keep him waiting until I tell you." "It smells of burning." "VariaVision is a step into the future of the cinema." "It took months of labour..." "I'm at Number 3 now." "...to develop VariaVision." "The fourth dimension of cinema." "Are we on manual?" "Stutzi, are we on manual?" "We are." "We are." "Okay." "I'II turn it on." "The xenon lamp's not working." "The xenon lamp's not working." "Must be the relay." "The relay's okay." "Shake it." "No!" "Don't shake it!" "We've located the trouble, in the control panel." "What's that noise?" "The relay." "It's okay." "But that can't be normal." "Ladies and gentlemen, as we go through the hall now... you will never see fixed objects." "It's a process of permanent transformation...." "We have it!" "Once again." "Yes, good." "Start the countdown." "That's it." "Stutzi!" "Action stations, everyone." "I'm starting the countdown." "16, 15, 1 4...." "Herr consul, have you seen a trial run?" "Patience, madam." "Wait and see." "10...." "Take this, please." "Seven, six... five, four... three...." "This way, please." "One." "Get away from the lamp!" "Something's coming down!" "What is it?" "What's happened?" "Short circuit." "My eyes." "I can't see." "Get me down." "Lights, please!" "It's my fault, I yelled." "But it was too late." "I knew you'd have your head in the lamp." "I couId just see it." "But I threw the switch with my own hand." "It burns." "How could I be so stupid?" "I couId kick myself." "Don't look into the light." "We'II get you to hospital." "There's no bleeding." "Keep your eyes shut." "I can't see!" "I've never seen such a flash." "You have my fullest support, both of you." "You've broken new ground." "He'II get the very best care." "And don't worry, he will see again." "That was the Big Bang." "If the press isn't interested, it's their own fault." "THE SECOND HEIMAT" "CHRONICLES OF A GENERATION IN 13 FILMS" "1 2" " A Time of Words" " Stefan, 1968I69" "Turn off engine" "Every time, it's like entering a concentration camp." "They could at Ieast say good morning." "But that's socialism." "They're just jealous." "We don't need to be in berlin before 6:00." "That's when Bernd arrives, with the key to the villa... and Rob, with all the equipment." "Do you want to hear Esther's monologue?" "Not now." "I went through it with Reinhard." "Listen" "You know I'm not sticking to Reinhard's ideas." "But I want to lose myself completely to become her." "From now on..." "I want to be called Esther, not olga." "Okay?" "Reinhard may have been a genius... but he had no sense of political reality." "But his characters have blood in their veins." "Wait, I'II just get that note that he gave me." "Listen to me." "You'II only understand the Third Reich in berlin." "Munich was just a growing village." "berlin will give the film an historical dimension." "AII the men I wanted to be with have died." "Ansgar, Reinhard...." "Don't say that now." "Maybe I can feel it when someone hasn't much longer to live." "Maybe that's why I faII in love." "I hope you don't mean me." "You'II live to be 100." "Driving licence." "Didn't you see the sign?" "What sign?" "Is speeding allowed in the West?" "What's the limit?" "Sixty." "There was no sign." "Don't tell me that!" "Your passport." "What are you?" "A director?" "What kind of film?" "Feature films." "That's italian." "Oh, italy...." "will you pay the 100 mark fine?" "And if I don't?" "You come with me." "You know what that was?" "A set-up." "bloody country!" "No wonder they wailed themselves in." "A good thing, too!" "This is your house for the next four weeks." "What do you say?" "I've never lived here as Esther." "I can't relate to it." "calm down, just look at it." "The outside alone... tells us a Iot." "This imposing facade." "Keep the poor out... call the rich in." "You're the director... you tell the story." "Come in, we're all here." "Make-up, too?" "And wardrobe, and both dressers." "We must dye your hair." "It has to be black." "Not that again!" "You keep forgetting Esther's father was in the SS." "I just know you're dark." "I'II give you an aura of strangeness." "How was the trip?" "Expensive." "You're right about her hair." "Reinhard wanted her dark." "I disagree, and I am Esther." "Reinhard!" "I was at FoxhoIes for three years before any of you turned up." "That's where he got the whole story." "Without me he couldn't have written it." "Attention, everybody!" "There are one or two things I want to put on record." "What makes a film is what you don't see." "So, I want...." "I'd Iike us all to be... one big family." "equal responsibility for all." "Don't you worry about that, wouldn't you agree, Herbert?" "UIIa, we're dying OIga's hair." "I'II make an appointment." "Here's to a good film!" "Nervous?" "It would be funny if I weren't." "Next year you'II be in Cannes... with all the journalists after you." "It's Stefan, he sounds in a hurry." "Great, fine." "Listen, I've got it." "The theme music, or theme sound." "You've got to hear it." "The place is full." "We're having a briefing." "You've got to hear this." "Hang on." "Coming?" "There's a family discussion." "could you do that somewhere else?" "I understand you wanting a say in the story, too." "I said so yesterday." "Nobody likes just taking orders." "But I didn't mean it like this." "There can only be one director." "I couId talk for hours about auteur film." "Don't get upset." "A film crew is a public thing." "How do you Iike it?" "Sounds crap." "Kathrin, what are you doing there?" "We're having a little "go-in."" "Leaning on Stefan a bit." "Why don't you come?" "You're missing something." "I can't." "Listen." "Look, Stefan, the extras want to read the script... and discuss it." "Right?" "They want to know your political intentions." "Nothing personal." "Just everyone's right to non-aIienated work." "Who's she?" "We want to discuss the message." "Discuss it?" "What for?" "We stick to the script, or we lose the money." "Are you still writing jingles for that old capitalist?" "How's the family?" "Nice of you to ask." "Ditch all that crap and come here." "It's fun." "I can hear that you're starting the revolution." "Breaking new ground." "New territory." "I can't." "Too much to do." "Coward!" "What would I get out of it?" "What would you get out of it?" "Me, for example." "That floored you." "Say something." "I often think of you." "honestly." "Enough of this." "It's me." "Look." "Democracy's broken out here." "Sorry." "What?" "Fine, it sounds fine." "Do I need the electrician's approval?" "Or the driver's?" "Just listen to yourself, Stefan." "MiddIe-cIass prejudice." "Why shouldn't an electrician be a competent judge?" "The workers know more about life than we do, with our university degrees." "films are for the workers too, right?" "The bloody state's given you all this bloody money." "Why not make a real agitprop film... make them sit up and take notice?" "250,000!" "Wow, that'd buy a few MoIotovs." "well, Mr. Director?" "Who is the director?" "Me." "Or so I thought." "I thought so, too." "Do we want one director, or collective responsibility?" "That's a general issue today." "Geniuses do exist... but is Stefan a genius?" "Even so, he can't make a film about social reality... all on his own." "Sure he can!" "I've got my child with me now." "I thought he was with your parents in DüImen." "I didn't want him growing up in an authoritarian nuclear family." "It makes things more difficult." "But my political work still takes priority." "And the father?" "130 marks alimony a month." "Doesn't even cover food." "I'm living off Kathrin and the commune." "There are five of them." "You must give them jobs." "Let's fix wages." "Add up the total and split it into equal parts." "Get out!" "You heard." "You're not part of the team." "You waltz in here, talk and talk... but I have to play the part." "olga, that's not the way." "Forget it." "We'II talk later." "Look, many heads are better than one." "Think of the critics, all lefties, to a man." "This way we'II be in the clear... ideologically." "KaIIe's in." "Bye." "There was endless discussion... about director and crew." "What can an individual achieve... and where does the group come in?" "Given our subject, this was a crucial question." "How could I find the answers for my whole generation?" "I wanted them all to help to get the story right." "Herr Aufhäuser, I can't bear to see... the camera idle all day." "You'II see, it'II turn out fine." "This'II be a great film." "We're living in revolutionary times." "I'd been working for Isar film for 21 months." "For 13 of them, I'd had my electronic music." "It was the most modern in Europe, the pride of the firm... and of Herr Gross, our devoted sound engineer." "The boss wants you to look in before you go." "For months, I'd been waiting for the consul... to give me the go-ahead." "The signal to push back the frontiers of New Music." "I can't let you go without giving you this." "A year's free pass... to the entire rail network." "A personal gift for the creators of VariaVision." "Herr Stürmer will get his when he comes back." "For your role... in the advertising campaign." "Now you're mobile... and whenever you want to be alone and think... you can board the observation car... and revel in the beauty of nature." "A whole new dimension!" "Thank you very much." "Herr Simon, something is wrong." "Won't you tell me?" "Can I help?" "Not really." "Time." "Time is passing." "That's what one says at my age." "You once promised me a free hand in my studio." "In our studio." "Let's not forget that." "It's the same everywhere." "Investments have to pay off." "You can only enjoy your freedom when you've paid your bills." "We have every reason to be pleased." "Your work is a great success, and the studio is almost paid for." "sensational." "And your royalties haven't been bad, have they?" "They'II stay that way... as long as people eat chocolate and take trains." "As long as you live, Herr Simon!" "Take a holiday... a holiday for your own projects." "The studio is yours." "For two months no one will disturb you." "Do something for posterity." "I'm proud of you and your revolutionary spirit." "Now off you go to your dear wife, with my best regards." "What's she studying again?" "Psychiatric social work." "I'd love to meet her." "And laugh!" "It helps." "I always try to laugh... or always smile, whatever happens." "That's my motto." "Hands off this piano, okay?" "I don't want it messed up." "Where's my wife?" "If you mean WaItraud, she's at an important lecture." "She'II be back at 9:30." "Who are you?" "IIona." "I'm Manni." "And you?" "AII this stuff you're eating I've worked for." "Ever heard the word?" "Okay, we'II go." "But then you'II catch it from your wife." "We swore we'd stay." "What about lulu?" "Have you seen a little girl?" "She took her." "Who took her?" "Your wife." "Now cool it, or they'II be in trouble." "I'm going." "tell my wife I'II be late." "And I don't want to see you when I get back!" "Hermann, my old electronic mixer!" "Have you left the family... that breeding-ground of neurotics?" "Risen from your sickbed?" "We'd given you up for dead." "The hardship of the people cries out to the skies" "Oh, now has come the hour" "It's up to you and me" "We'II break the bosses' power" "And set the people free" "I'm glad I Ieft university in time." "My customers think I'm ancient." "Are you 30 yet, Hermann?" "Not quite." "We're too old for the revolution." "Not me." "Suppose I come on as the Mermaid of the revolution?" "I'II sing about the poorest of the poor." "We'II fill the stage with bright blue water." "Nice and warm, so everyone can jump in with me." "sexual revolution!" "I'm my own man now, writing my own music." "I Iike that." "My own man." "You know nothing about it, Renate." "Art for art's sake can't be justified... given contemporary social tensions... and imperialist exploitation of the Third world." "You believe in revolution?" "You're celebrating?" "With Iemonade?" "The studio's all mine now." "That's nice." "Did you know VoIker has a commission... from the Southwest Radio Orchestra?" "Did I get that right, VoIker?" "More or less." "That's great, tell me about it!" "Sorry, I've got an appointment." "I'm really pleased." "I'm off to Baden-Baden tomorrow." "Come and stay with us in Strasbourg." "It's only two hours to Baden-Baden." "You'II have everything you need:" "peace, fresh air and a piano." "And a view of Sesenheim, Jean-Marie, it's not my world." "black and monstrous moths" "black sunlight from our eyes" "Down the darkened skies" "Sinister they sink" "On unseen, unheard wings" "Shrouding our hearts like cloth" "black and monstrous moths" "What made you think of Pierrot Lunoire?" "We used to do it in America, for fun." "That was the birth of New Music, 191 1 ." "You sing it superbly." "I can hardly believe they're here." "That was the best time of my Iife." "They're famous now, touring Europe." "They've even made a record." "Let me show it to you." "You don't mind them staying, do you?" "will you check if arnold is okay?" "AII this noise, and he's fast asleep." "It's amazing!" "And where do I sleep?" "I'II make up a bed in lulu's room." "What's the matter?" "I'm not going." "This is my bed!" "What's going on?" "This place is a doss-house for runaway deIinquents." "Hashish fumes, mess, noise." "The fridge is empty." "My wife's never home." "There's nobody to welcome me." "I'm kicked out of my own house and treated like dirt." "There's even someone in my bed!" "Who is she, anyway?" "Quiet, you'II wake her!" "She's called IIona." "She's taken too many drugs." "It's called a bad trip." "It makes you hypersensitive to stimuli." "You can get hallucinations." "I called a doctor, Petra's professor, remember him?" "He's had a Iot of experience with drugs himself." "He gave her a shot of valium, and told me to watch her all night." "That's why she's in here." "It's just for one night, Hermann." "And the others?" "I saw a whole gang of them when I came in." "It was scary." "One of them even threatened me." "They scared me, too." "They've gone now." "And lulu?" "I'm worried about her." "How about taking back that nice girl we had?" "No, what would the others say?" "I don't want them to know..." "I have so much money." "But I earn the money." "That doesn't matter." "It makes it worse." "Come on, I'II make up the bed." "What's that smell?" "Are you drunk?" "Don't be upset." "Look, we're so lucky." "We're healthy and happy... we should share some of it." "That's why I work at the Drug Centre." "I know all that." "Hush, you'II wake her." "sleep well." "Hermann, I'm so glad I'm a student." "Professor Huber said a while ago:" ""We live in a new age, the age of women!"" "I'm a woman, and I know he's right." "I've strength enough for 10." "I'm free now." "Free... free to compose my own music in the studio." "Music for music's sake." "I'm reading WiIheIm Reich... he's so interesting." "Do you know what orgone is?" "Something to do with orgasm." "It's forces that build up." "Like in our Japanese bed." "They have healing powers." "Is that why you put her there?" "I never thought of that." "But maybe it will do her good." "I hope our lulu never goes off the rails like that." "Did you know that lots of the youngsters down at the Drug Centre... come from very good families?" "There's a statistic on it." "WouIdn't you Iike to try some drugs?" "As an experiment." "I don't know." "I'm too scared." "We could try." "Scaredy-cat!" "You're crying." "I'm so glad you came." "You're alone, I can feel it." "Can't you come back after the tour?" "I'm staying here." "I've meditated about it, and I've decided." "Maybe we can do something together." "But I've given up the cello." "It was more for your mother than for you." "You really think so?" "We must find our own way." "I always wanted a friend." "Me, too." "Look, arnold, Daddy's going away for a while." "Why are you telling him that?" "This is an important day for him." "I want him to remember it." "I'II think of you." "I'II think of me, too." "When I met Hermann, I gave up all my friends." "I thought his friends were mine." "The funny thing was, I didn't even mind." "really." "Women are like that." "But I know your friends." "It took you long enough." "But Hermann comes home and says, "The place is full of strangers."" "That's what you men are like when we have our own friends." "It's so great you're freeing yourself from all that." "I'm not sure it'II make me any happier." "What do you want?" "Shove off." "We heard that Sigi ran away from the clinic." "We want to help him, before the police find him." "I'm helping him." "Petra's a medical student." "He's not asleep, he's unconscious." "We've got to bring him around." "He can't stay here." "He'II die." "Why did he run away?" "He was safe there." "He needs treatment." "You can't help him." "But I Iove him." "Then let us take him back." "He'II kill himself this time, he said he would." "He won't, if he knows you're waiting for him." "Who are you?" "Students from the Drug Centre." "We don't like the police either." "AII right?" "Trixi!" "You know her?" "Her sister works for us." "shall I ring Dagmar?" "tell her you're here?" "Drugs!" "I'II tell her sister." "She'II take care of her." "She has a family after all." "My wife found her." "But you can't leave us to look after your sister." "It's not our responsibility." "You can't do that!" "At least wait until we know what your sister says." "What cheek!" "She has our door key." "First we help the comrades bust up KiIian's seminar...." "That reactionary." "Our resolution was quite clear." "More power to the students, less to the professors." "Teaching must reflect the interests of the workers... not capitalism." "But they keep on about their duties... as civil servants and all that crap." "The Rector called the pigs in." "Just on stand-by, he says." "And KiIian really cut up rough." "But there's no law against discussion." "Of course there isn't." "It's a farce." "He called a vote:" "Did they want a normal seminar... or a discussion of its aims." "But we'd prepared them for that ages ago." "A complete rout for the reactionaries." "Now he's trying it on with pseudo-democratic crap." "Like individual rights, protection of minorities and all that." "You accuse us of using force... but you give us no choice." "That's just poIemics." "You know that as well as I do." "If anyone's using poIemics... it's you." "We had a democratic vote to add to this programme... and to implement peacefully." "solidarity, participation." "First we called for a change in the Charter, giving us, the majority... equal participation." "Second, for the abolition of the paternalist, authoritarian structures." "Here we come!" "And then you had the police lay into us." "I completely reject that." "As you very well know... the Rector and the Senate have taken a decision... and submitted it to the Bavarian parliament." "This is my seminar." "Are you a member?" "That's irrelevant." "Point one of our resolution says.:" "Teaching at the University of Munich... is suspended for a week... and replaced by discussion." "This is against all... academic tradition." "Hang on, comrades, can I have your attention?" "I think our comrade here has something to say." "I'm only a mature student." "But I witnessed Nazi Fascism in the Hunsrück with my own eyes." "Mind you, no one in my family was ever a Nazi." "Get to the point." "My brothers are all workers." "Workers?" "Define the term." "Two of my sisters married workers." "You call this an analysis?" "Private crap!" "I feel I belong..." "Where's the economic aspect?" "...to the working class." "Oranges and lemons." "Did I say something wrong?" "The terminology was a bit lax." "One moment, comrades." "What our comrade here was trying to say...." "The term "Fascism" belongs in the context... of a class analysis." "only then... is it an indictment of the ruling class in late capitalist society." "Further reading...." "Crap." "We're turning out crap." "No serious musician would look at it." "You were happy with it yesterday." "Has something gone wrong?" "It's not you, Herr Gross." "I was beginning to think...." "It's me." "I feel I've nothing to say." "You've been working too hard." "Look around you: everything's changing." "revolution everywhere." "The beatles are way ahead of us." "AII pop music is way ahead of us." "That's not fair." "We're producing a completely new sound." "Let me prove it to you." "Then I'm the wrong man for the job." "Don't you have any friends you could play it to?" "What do you think I've been trying to do for months?" "congratulations, Herr Simon." "Read this." ""The Chandonnay product range..." ""thanks to a creative advertising campaign..." ""by Isar film of Munich..." ""has attained..." ""a rise in sales..." ""of 27.4º%..." ""or nearly a third."" "Now I know what you meant... by "the scent of a sound."" "You're absolutely right." "melody is obsolete." "It's new sound that sways the masses." "We're on the advance." "Leave me alone!" "please, Herr ZieIke." "Herr Simon is having a crisis." "Why didn't anyone tell me?" "I'm not well myself." "It's all right, lulu, we're going home." "Hermann, look what I've got." "Marx, Lenin, Mao Tse-tung, Marcuse:" "One-DimensionaI Man, and Eros and civilisation..." "Adorno's Negative dialectic." "The critical University, russell... and Sartre, Vietnam tribunal." "In this blue Marx series I've only got volumes 6 and 7 and Das KapitaI." "But I can pick up the rest next week." "The Spartacus BookstaII has wonderful books, in pirated editions." "They cost less than half." "Imagine." "We've got to support them, because the money goes to Vietnam." "This is Heiner and...." "BIacky." "Among those who expressed their support were..." "Bertrand russell, and the Communist Youth of Cuba." "shall I put her to bed?" "Aren't you pleased, too?" "What about?" "AII these books!" "You have to read them nowadays." "And lots of others, too." "I made such a fool of myself today." "I was saying something at the sit-in... and I completely lost the thread." "You know?" "I've never felt so stupid." "So I decided, this has got to change." "Are the shoes new, too?" "You've noticed." "So then I went up to the Students' Union... to pick up Heiner and BIacky." "They're from the berlin "Hash rebels."" "They had a "smoke-in" at the Opera, so they're lying low for a few days." "What's that got to do with your shoes?" "I bought them on the way home." "They helped me with the books, so I asked them in for supper." "You do need a Iot of telling." "I'II put lulu to bed now." "police watched as the march passed... the British military Mission... on its way to the Kurfürstendamm." "German participants in this French Communist demonstration... were called upon to leave." "Are you the occupant?" "Stay here." "Stand aside, please." "We'd no idea." "What've they done?" "We have a warrant for their arrest." "Have a nice evening." "You'II have to read a Iot more books, Schnüsschen... a Iot more." "Can you start it?" "In two seconds." "I'II go up then." "telephone, Herr Simon." "please, Hermann, you've got to help me." "I don't know what to do." "Petra's stuffed me full of pills, but they haven't helped." "What's happened?" "Someone's broken in." "The flat's a mess." "The TV's gone, money, clothes, everything." "Come home, I need you." "Who's he?" "Hermann." "Does anyone know Sigi Schöpke?" "Look, what is this?" "You act as if you're dying... then I find you at a Ieft-wing coffee morning." "You can't do this to me." "Hermann, it's really bad." "You should see the case reports." "It could have kept till tonight." "Sigi sold the TV for drugs, and gave Trixi so much... she's in hospital." "And now they say she's pregnant." "Imagine, she's only a kid herself." "So what?" "Are you going to adopt her kid as well?" "Hermann, the city is so cruel." "I don't want to live here anymore." "sentimental trash!" "I walk the streets night after night, with nowhere to go." "I thought this was my home." "But it's a commune, with a reformatory on top!" "The police march in and out." "It's an academics' doss-house!" "What about your friends?" "Did I ever complain about them?" "That old complex about my friends." "Sometimes I think you started studying just to get rid of your complexes." "Do you know what you want at all?" "This is chaos!" "And all I'm good for is doling out the money I earn." "So you lot can play at socialism!" "Take that back, Hermann." "Or it's over between us." "Just watch this." "Enough of this pIay-acting." "I thought this ring meant commitment." "It does, to me." "Then I come home, and none of it is true." "Now you watch this." "Don't I have commitments?" "child, housework, university... husband and emancipation... and political action and the Drug Centre." "I'm going." "No, you're not." "I want an answer." "To what?" "I'm a free man, I can go where I want." "To that little slut at the office." "It's easy for you!" "You always get out of everything." "Listen, will you?" "I'm not descending to your level." "Egoist!" "Go ahead!" "Shove off!" "Daddy will be back." "I didn't feel like justifying myself." "I had no good reason... to fly to berlin that day." "It wasn't that silly fight with Schnüsschen... or a reaction to Trixi's break-in." "Stefan didn't need me on the set." "No, a vague longing drove me." "It was the feeling..." "I'd had as a student... that it was all happening somewhere else." "It was the sudden desire to be part of things." "But what things?" "There was an extraordinary tension in the air." "I flew to berlin, uncertainly..." "like a moth to a distant flame." "I don't trust him." "So what?" "The question is... do we antagonise the media, or do we use them?" "Excuse me, do you know Kathrin Schöpps?" "She's being interviewed." "Use them?" "They'II use us." "It's all tactics." "HIT THE PRESS ON THE...." "typical, putting girls on a bed." "It's always sexual innuendo." "Can't you see that?" "Sit somewhere else, then." "No, I haven't got your hang-ups." "sexual freedom any place, any time." "They've all told me that." "That's what revolution means." "Not your bourgeois wife-swapping." "You don't seriously think the commune is the model human community?" "It is." "Think of the extended family, the clan, the tribe." "Work, love, children, survival, all shared." "As Freud said, the nuclear family is a heII-hoIe." "We've heard all this before." "It's all theory." "What interests me is you, personally." "You know what?" "I'm not going to tell you." "Rich parents?" "Was your father a Nazi, too?" "So your father was a Nazi." "Interesting." "What does he say about all this?" "He's irrelevant." "talk to the others." "We know what we're doing." "Another thing." "Bourgeois society is rotten, corrupt." "We're the vanguard of a new society." "Are you happy here?" "Don't hide behind words." "You're just prejudiced." "It bores me to talk to you." "I don't toe any line." "I write as I find." "Someone like you?" "I never thought you'd come!" "It's a red letter day!" "We'II get rid of these reporters." "Just wait in the kitchen." "Come on, I'II show you." "He's okay." "lulu, it can't be there." "What's that?" "Have you got it?" "lovely!" "That's Daddy's ring." "Let's see if you can find Mummy's now." "Come on, Iet's look." "The eagle has landed." "Haven't you seen Hermann, either?" "Not for two weeks, I think." "I don't know what to do." "Come sit down, eh?" "Here's a chair." "I'II get you a drink." "I'm at the foot of the ladder." "One small step for a man... one giant leap for mankind." "Schnüsschen, don't you recognise me?" "You're CIarissa." "May I?" "Look, two women sitting together... meditating." ""For 400 years women were tortured..." ""and murdered as witches."" "Two spirits try to enter the women... but they're not ready." ""A militant society..." ""controlled women by prohibiting abortion and denying them work."" "Seven pomegranates: the fertility symbol... and the witches' number." "I want you to have it." ""When you control women, you control the world."" "I don't know, I don't think I'm a witch." "Yes, you are." "I think too much." "You're a witch, but it makes me laugh." "I'm a witch." "My child." "I've forgotten my child." "My heart is bright as the night" "The revolution isn't made at a demo." "Why else go on one?" "The revolution begins where we work... where we live, in the way we bring up our children." "Wherever we refuse to accept existing power structures." "At work, in education, in the family... that's where democracy starts." "There are things in your script, Stefan... that you can't get away with today." "They're purely subjective, arbitrary." "I don't want to knock Reinhard, but they're romantic gush." "You'II be a laughing stock." "When did you ever care about that?" "The progressive critics will pan you." "Today you can't divorce your characters... from their social roles." "especially in a story like this, set in the Third Reich... and about Jews, Nazis, the bourgeoisie and the SS." "Those are socio-historicaI facts." "You can't reduce them to emotions." "THE GERMAN FEAR" "You of all people." "No one was ever as emotional as you." "Your film is government-funded, right?" "That's taxpayers' money." "The working class has toiled for it." "It's the people's money, Stefan." "That's just words." "I was given the money... to further the cause of film in a grey commercial world." "He was given the money." "The artist, the Ione champion... of the cause of film." "Why do you want my job?" "Is it so great to be a director, after all?" "It's not Iike that, Stefan." "But we've shot nothing for a week, and I doubt we will for days." "We take it?" "Sure." "What are you doing with the camera?" "Take it easy." "It's only standing around." "You can get on with the script changes." "kill or be killed." "I warned you." "You got what you wanted, then?" "Don't you ever sleep?" "I'm worried." "My husband's been so strange lately." "I've never known him like this." "And now he's disappeared." "You don't know where he is?" "Do you?" "Let me think." "To be frank, I know there's... a very nice secretary in the firm." "would you close the door, please?" "I mean, work and private life ought to be separate." "Don't mix business and pleasure, you mean?" "You won't tell him I was here?" "Of course not." "Anyway, I'm quite sure... he's gone on a train journey." "alone." "I'm to blame." "I got him that rail pass." "Didn't you know?" "I can picture him... sitting in the observation car... reveIIing in the beauty of the countryside... and composing." "WORDS BREAK NO CHAINS" "FREEDOM for political prisoners" "Sympathy for the devil and for Fritz!" "FREAK" "Go ahead and pee." "No more doors." "None of this petit bourgeois prudishness." "It was new for us, too, to start with." "But you mustn't mind your comrades watching you shit, et cetera." "I don't remember falling asleep." "I must have been all in." "I covered you." "You talked and talked, and suddenly you fell asleep." "Been swiping things again?" "When will you learn?" "It undermines serious political action." "It undermines capitalism." "I am taking KarIi to kindergarten." "Then I'II look for a place of our own." "AII this talk about collective upbringing." "I still get landed with everything." "None of you has bothered with him for weeks." "I might as well be on my own." "What are you going to live on?" "I'II get a job." "Pass the butter." "Is this all about Hermann?" ""It's not enough for the idea to seek reality..." ""reality must seek the idea."" "I don't get that." "I've got better things to think of than your bourgeois love affairs." "What's that for?" "You talk into it, and later on we can hear what you say." "We must be patient, become part of the furniture." "Then we can start." "That could take time." "We have time." "True." "Weeks of it." "You must be Rene Christian." "I'm your daughter." "I play Esther." "I always imagined you blonde." "Don't say that." "I begged them not to dye it." "Is the director here?" "He's in negotiations." "He's making the script ideologically sound." "hello, Herr Christian." "I'm your dresser." "We won't be filming today." "So you needn't bother." "Come on!" "On your head be it." "I was in Prague on August 21 when the Russians invaded." "We were on the way to the studio... when we were held up." "Russian tanks everywhere, and overturned cars... with people hiding behind them." "Then came the sound of firing." "people were running towards us shouting, "Dubcek, Dubcek."" "Our Czech photographer ran right into the thick of it, taking pictures." "That shy, anxious little man had turned into a hero." "I was more scared for him than myself." "What part were you playing?" "A French diplomat in Vienna." "We shot it in Prague, it's less modern." "We had 15 days to go." "But we had to stop, nothing was working." "And the American producers had to get out quick." "The insurers are stalling." "It could take ages." "Are you happy with your part?" "It's good, isn't it?" "I must have been very small, three or four." "My parents took me to Wiesbaden." "The American officers' mess was in the casino." "I know the place." "I think they're still there." "I used to pass it on cycling trips with my first love." "Cocoa." "That was the first time I ever had it." "America was the ultimate dream." "The Americans were so confident and friendly." "They smelled good, and they loved freedom." "In school, we had an American book." "It said there was nothing worse than militarism." "Obedience for obedience's sake... was a crime against human dignity." "It was wrong to hate others... despise their opinions, be conformist." "AII these ideals came from America." "I'II always believe in them, I swear." "I was very small after the war." "I can only remember colours." "And now we're scared of the Americans." "Vietnam looks just like the atrocities our fathers committed." "Was yours a Nazi, too?" "I don't think so." "He was defusing a bomb in 1944." "It went off." "Hermann!" "What are you doing in berlin?" "I'm meeting two hollywood producers." "The ones who had trouble in Prague." "Come and see me on the set." "She knows where it is." "Mr. Christian is a wonderful actor." "We love him." "He's my central character." "The whole film is built around him." "What would it cost you... to postpone, say 10 or 15 days?" "But we've already started." "We must finish our film." "Our insurers have finally paid up." "Yes, but Herr Christian is under contract to me." "That's why we're here." "So, what will it cost?" "To postpone?" "It will have to be calculated." "How long?" "Three hours, four?" "I need to consult my crew." "Come to the hotel Kempinski at 3:00." "Know it?" "Of course." "But that's in two and a half hours." "It's okay, we'II pick up the cheque." "I make it 20,000 marks a week." "Times three is 60,000 marks." "For 16 days, plus 20º% is... 72,000." "will they pay that much for a German actor?" "They've no choice." "Write this down." "hotel: 3,400." "Go on." "travel expenses: 1,800." "Food: 2,000." "I'II get back to you, Erika." "They've done most of the film in Prague." "It'd cost a hundred times more to start again." "I just can't face telling them it's all over." "frankly, I've been thinking about it for some time." "But up to now I couldn't afford it." "The longer the discussions went on, the less I couId afford it." "Now the Americans will pay for the revolution." "Fair enough." "The cultural imperialists can pay." "Stop it." "I feel like a criminal." "I can't face them all." "Oh, come on." "But it was good." "AII those dreams of freedom and equality." "There was something hopeful in them." "Brainwashing." "We were discussing what we'd do after the revolution." "That's how far we'd got." "Look, revolution is one thing, film's another." "will you take me to the Kempinski?" "I want to go back to Munich." "Today." "You know Herr philips?" "Mr. Braunitsch of Warner Brothers." "He'd love to see your script." "Who's your distributor?" "We're still negotiating." "Mr. Braunitsch is a very good contact." "He knows anyone in hollywood." "Everyone." "So, Iet's see your budget." "At a conservative estimate, it's a loss of 80,000 marks." "For a week?" "For 15 days." "$30,000." "That's 1 1 7,625 marks, 22 pfennigs." "We've been recording the development of our revolutionary consciousness." "We film each other's analysis of the situation." "revolution begins with the individual." "We've got to record that." "Right?" "Recording." ""Pictures from a revolution," 24, Take 1 ." "Today, making a film means taking responsibility." "responsibility for political awareness." "A feature film... is just a dead record of a Iot of pre-rehearsed scenes." "Vision is only truth... when we feel what we see." "I mean, the camera has no feelings." "So it is absurd just aiming it at things... as they do on TV." "To approach the truth... the cameraman must get his feelings into the picture." "reality isn't truth." "We tend to think the more realistic a scene is, the better it is." "My name is KarI-Heinz Peter Schubert." "My comrades and friends call me KaIIe." "My main motivation here...." "Stop shooting!" "I'm announcing the end of the production." "We're taking all the equipment... all exposed and unexposed film." "These gentlemen will now pack up... all costumes, props, tools... and take them to Munich." "I'm not answering any questions." "I'm just asserting my rights." "The production is over." "But our contracts?" "You've violated them." "You're dismissed." "Turn that thing off." "filming has been systematically sabotaged." "That's that!" "Stefan, do you mean it?" "Was I so wrong about you?" "No more discussions." "Take this, and the film, table, chairs." "Repressive tolerance." "You are making a mistake." "This is the end of our friendship." "I have no choice." "God, I couId kick myself." "He asked me if I meant 80,000 marks a week." "And like a fool, I said, "No, 15 days."" "He'd have forked out another 80,000." "It was like poker." "Something awful has happened to you." "awful?" "We'II get moving at last, olga." "Like you always wanted." "You think you've won." "well, haven't I?" "What's wrong?" "Aren't you pleased?" "It'II all be back to normal." "We'II be in the studio... fetched in the morning, delivered at night." "There'II be no questions, no discussions." "No mystery." "But at last, it'II be professional." "What can you expect of those beatniks?" "What can you expect?" "They're not even trained to run a place like this." "Why don't they go over the wall?" "That's where they belong." "Do you see any connexion between this fire and your activities?" "This is terror." "The slogans of your Committee for the Liberation of Women... sound a bit like terror themselves, to an unemancipated man." "Harassment by the right-wing press... and now arson." "So you think this was deliberate?" "A child could have been burnt to death." "You distinguish between violence against "property" and "the person."" "What do you say now?" "difficult." "Isn't that rather cynical?" "Is the use of force right of the state?" "Right?" "It's just might." "So you'd call it "social democratic crap" to think... imperiaIism could be abolished without force?" "That's difficult." "So you're in favour of violence?" "It's never that simple." "careful, it's pretty strong." "special recipe." "Tastes like Christmas." "I'II remember that." "KaIIe put half a pound of shit into this." "I know them." "That's for me." ""Dear Hermann..." ""I'm sitting in the observation car..." ""reveIIing in the beauty of the countryside, and composing..." ""WaItraud..." ""lulu's all right. "" "How did you get here?" "Where's Mummy?" "She's gone away." "Gone away?" "What'II we do?" "Go away, too." "Go away?" "AII right." "Where to?" "We'II need a horse then." "Or a car." "shall we buy a car?" "Agree?" "For most feelings, we no Ionger have the right words." "We're hungry, and say we want work." "We're cold, and say we want our own house." "We long for solidarity, and say we're in love." "Love is a heap of wrecked feelings... family, a breeding ground of neurosis." "The man oppresses the woman, she takes it out on the child." "The child is jealous of the father, he feels guilty towards the mother." "The mother smothers the child with love, the child flees." "The father blames the mother, the mother reminds him of his duty." "The father represents the State, the child rebels." "The mother cries, the father hits out." "There is an emotional Fascism." "We stand up and speak this truth." "Nothing is as it was before." "THE SECOND HEIMAT" "CHRONICLE OF A GENERATION IN 13 FILMS" "13" " Art or Life" " Hermann and Clarissa 1970" "I've been on the Big Wheel, to see what it's like." "Try this, the Oktoberfest to a deaf person." "Welcome to our indefatigable genius!" "Don't you ever sleep, Herr Simon?" "Herr Gross, I'll give you compulsory leave." "Come over here." "We're one big family." "There's no "them" and "us" here." " What happened to old Zielke?" " We've lost him." "Haselchen, food for Herr Simon." "He looks ravenous." "May I?" "You'll get the next one." "Ah, my favourite churchman!" "A fine tan!" "Just back from the holiday?" "You should have seen his face." "As if God Himself... had caught him." "We're the best of friends now, and I must say... it's a beautiful part of the world." "Schnüsschen would have been in her element." "She'd grown up in a large family and loved being surrounded by... parents, brothers, good cheer." "She loved being part of a family." "But I hated this togetherness, which pretended to be natural... but actually crushed all real feeling with its banality." "Pschorr Brewery" "I was at your convention last month, and I was much impressed." "You know my attitude to the Church." "But your critique about moral decay and cultural uniformity... now, that I endorse whole-heartedly." "In May I had turned 30." "Ten years had passed since I'd left the Hunsrück." "Ten years I didn't want to look back on." "All I'd wanted to achieve still remained to be done." "Or had fate decided I would never achieve it?" "More and more, I was assailed by doubts about myself and my talent." "Ah, Dr. Pöscher..." "Bavarian TV in person!" "And his lady wife, whom we all know and love." "You see, if you'd stayed with us you'd have missed you vocation." "I always felt that your place was in life, not in the office." "Well, George, you old demagogue." "Why don't you let us do a party political for you?" "We don't want the Reds getting in." "Not that you'll get me, any more than the Nazis did." "You should really use your archive, Dr. Pöscher." "We have the some rare footage of the early years." "You'd be amazed." " Great to see you again!" " How are you?" "Fine, you know." "Nothing's changed." "You'll have to call her "Frau Doktor" now." "Oh, come on!" "It's fabulous to see you." "Here comes Zielke!" "Look at him." "Good to see you, I say." "Haselchen, something for Herr Zielke." "Thank you." "I belong to a world that's gone for ever." "No moping, Herr Zielke, hope springs eternal." "There's a place at the artists' table." "Come on, you're an artist, too." "I'll never forget what you did for me." "So, what'll happen at the next election?" "You're a magician!" "A free beer for our churchman." "Haselchen, are we going to Kitzbühel this summer?" "Good, then we can let Dr. Pöscher and his dear wife have our house." "You'll love it." "George, you remember that little slope?" "Ideal for practicing." "Please, go and have a real rest." "Say no more, you'll be doing us a favour." "One thing about the last 10 years I did remember:" "My friends." ""The world was full of friends When life was so bright." ""Now the mist descends They're out of sight. "" "I'd set the Hesse poem to music once." "When I was 15." "As if I already knew what loneliness was." "Don't you want to thank the President of German Railways?" "Don't look surprised, you dreamer!" "That is the man who's given you that fantastic present." "For two years now." "The rail pass." "Not a word of thanks?" "Thank you." "We were all dreamers once, weren't we?" "Could we have found our way without our dreams?" "I've often thought of you." "My husband's very nice." "I don't think we ever said goodbye." "I'm going home." "Goodbye, Hermann." "It was a very nice game." "I felt as if I'd never stopped talking." "My throat was dry." "My brain was a ruin of feeble, futile words." "I couldn't speak any more." "What should I have said to Erika?" "I walked through the night." "I didn't want to go home." "And yet I did." "We've been waiting for you." "Come and have a drink." "I've been thinking about you." "We have one thing in common." "We both sit in Handschuh's office, grieving... over our lost hopes." "Haven't you been thinking that 30 is old?" "That at 30 your creative years are over?" "That it is the end?" "I have an idea to put to you both, just a suggestion." "How about detaching the studio from Isar Film... as a separate enterprise, devoted to music?" "What do you think?" "An independent "Studio for New Music."" "But how, Herr Zielke?" "That'd take a mint of money." "Suppose I'd saved a tidy sum... over the years?" "Enough to buy a whole new set of equipment?" "But it's not your field!" "I'd have a share of your ideas... your daring, your ideals... and your youth, too, of course." "You'd be taking me with you." "Then all we need is a money man, to tell us how much our dreams cost." "And if I lose, well, at my age it doesn't matter." "Herr Zielke seemed to be dreaming." "Perhaps his money was a dream, too." "It left me cold." "Or did the money exist, but I didn't?" "I was a dream." "My own dream?" "Zielke's dream?" "On the Western Front in 1944 we were pretty well equipped." "Twelve Arri cameras, 34 floodlights and ancillaries." "Top quality Zeiss lenses." "Projector for the cinema tents." "Generators, thousands of metres of film, everything you wanted." "Our clever little Lance Corporal H..." " Hitler?" " No, Handschuh... offered to get it all out of harm's way at his place in the Ammersee." "I gave the order without realising what he was up to." "He hid me from the Americans, along with the equipment." "He saw me through the end of the war, you see?" "Did you do something?" "No." "I was one of Goebbel's directors, and a Party member... like everyone." "They promised we'd direct features after the war." "I was a listed person, that's all." "Then in '47 our Herr H started Isar Film... with me as resident director." "He kept quiet about my past sins... and I kept quiet about his removal of the army property." "I should have never given him so much power over me." "But that was 25 years ago." "You're like me, you put the cause first." "Let's free ourselves together." "What do you say, Herr Simon?" "Volker!" "Look, your rhythms, exactly as you wrote them." "It's your piece Corinne's dancing." "Can't you hear it?" "I don't understand." "She's come all the way from the South of France... 1,000 miles from our Fascist past." "This is a travesty." "You're frivolous, you French." "You can't play around with this." "Jean-Marie, Corinne is Jewish." "I want to understand her." "She's dancing her nightmares." "I should never have written this." "Musicians are whores." "Music can be used for whatever people want." " I love the audience." " A wild beast." "It's wonderful when it bares its teeth." "I love fighting it." "We're off to Avignon with Volker's piece." "It's genuine ballet music." "Corinne's dancing it at the Festival." "I'm still against it." "You should have been a writer." "They don't have to meet their audience." "It had happened." "I was sure I had gone mad." "These couldn't be my friends... creatures of flesh and blood." "They were unreal... figments of their own imaginations." "Invented to titillate a decadent bourgeoisie." "I wanted to wake up." "I wanted it to be day." "I was alone." "Homesickness overwhelmed me." "In the first few years I fought it." "Then I forgot it." "I'd dismissed it... as a mixture of fear... habit, childishness, and such things." "Now it was back, with a vengeance." "I thought of my mother at home, and my heart ached." ""Dear Mother." ""On the occasion of your 70th birthday..."" "What meaningless rubbish." ""Dear Mother." ""It's not because you're 70 that I'm writing..." ""but because suddenly you're in my mind." ""For months now..." ""every now and again, for no reason..."" ""Dear Mother." ""At last I want to tell you why, 10 years ago..."" "My God." ""Dear Mother." ""It seems to be a law in your life that we must leave for 10 years." ""Didn't my stepfather do the same?"" "Hello, Hermann." "Have you got any alcohol in the house?" "Alcohol?" "There maybe some whisky." "Will that do?" "It's 2:30." "On Christmas Day, around 10:00..." "I had the crucial vision of my life." "I went out into the balcony." "It was one of those clear days... that comes just before avalanches." "And suddenly I saw... the seven books I would write." "Seven books about Germany." "All of them, more or less, about women." "Did you know that this is the century of women?" "All it's great deeds will be done by women." "Silently, like witches." "We men are finished." "We're fossils... relics of an earlier evolutionary stage." "Do you realise that, Hermann?" "Schnüsschen had left me." "She and Lulu lived in our old flat." "I didn't know what she was doing, or how her studies were going on." "I saw Lulu... only occasionally." "She was starting school." "Was this really the century of women, as Alex said?" "Strange that it should be Alex predicting the decline of the male." "Alex, who never found a woman of his own... and who only knew about them from his friends." "Go straight ahead." "I'm so glad you've come." "May I call you Hermann?" "If you like." "My husband's not well." "He was only play-acting last night." "Would you ever have guessed?" "May I call you Hermann?" "If you like." " Have you shown Hermann our house?" " Later, Theobald." "As you may know, my wife and I have no children." "For years it was our greatest wish." "As you'll see, our house is perfect for children." "Full of nooks and crannies." "There's even a nursery." "Sad, isn't it?" "Please, Theobald, don't get sentimental." "But I'd like Hermann to know us." "Come along, I'll show you." "You will stay to dinner?" "Bad prognosis, bad diagnosis... in other words, old age." "I have no illusions." "You know, I earn my money pushing beer... department stores... soap, political parties and all that rot." "I'm cursed with a gift." "I'm a good salesman." "I used to be proud of that, till you turned up." "Yes, it's an expensive pleasure... you and your studio." "But it's the most modern in Europe." "In it a composer can realise his ideas all on his own." "We don't need musicians who get it all wrong anyway." "We can simulate a 100-piece orchestra... as easily as one violin... or piano or anything else." "We could rent it out for 2,000 a day, if people knew about us." "We need more work to show... advertisements for ourselves, not others." "Then the clients will flock in, I'm certain." "There it was again, my voice, which yesterday, I thought I had lost." "The words tumbled out of my mouth as though someone else had put them in." "I didn't feel." "I didn't believe." "I didn't take part." "My great ambition had fallen away." "My hope had gone." "What was music to me?" "Was I seeking the laws of nature, like the Vienna School geniuses?" "Were there any standards... apart from taste and fame?" "I heard myself talk, and was sad." "You saw Herr Zielke last night?" "We had a glass of wine together." "He made you an offer?" "Don't ask me how I know." "I have the highest opinion of Herr Zielke." "He's educated, amusing, eccentric... full of endearing traits." "But in business... it's reality that counts... and I've shielded him from reality for years." "Because of what he did for me... in 1945, '46, '47." "He can retire with an easy mind." "But don't get involved in financial ventures with Herr Zielke." " The vultures are gathering." " What do you mean?" "My managers, my directors, my head of accounts." "They'd all like to take over the firm when I'm gone." "They're all toadies." "But that's..." "Flattering, I know." "But it makes you stupid." "Have you seen this?" "A little secret." "Look." "I wish I had a son." "Like you." "I mean that." "What does your father do, Hermann?" "I only saw him once." "When I was four." "My stepfather's in America." "He's in electronics." "I grew up with my mother." "And you never wished you had a father?" "Sometimes." "Someone I could hate." "I've got something to say to you." "If you stay with me... and go on putting your heart... into your work... even hate me, if you like..." "I'll leave you my whole business." "But I'm a musician, Herr Consul!" "I know that." "Must I decide now?" "No." "But soon." "For the second time in 24 hours... an ageing man had pinned his hopes on me." "For the second time I'd been offered fantastic sums... to use as I wished." "And each time it was my youth and idealism... that were valued so highly." "I began to be ashamed of them." "I needed advice." "At home in the Hunsrück..." "I'd have gone to my grandmother... and asked her." "And she'd have been proud of me, and said:" ""If this rich man has so much faith in you..." ""you mustn't disappoint him." ""And always remember your mother and grandmother..." ""however rich you get." "Promise me?"" "And I'd have promised, like a true little Hermännsche from Schabbach." "Good evening, Frau Lichtblau." "Isn't Clarissa in?" "Don't you know she's on tour?" "For three weeks now." "And Volker's in Avignon." "Didn't you know?" "I've been away." "All this rushing around." "Will it make them happy?" "Come in." "I'll show you her itinerary." "I don't want to trouble you." "The tour's a great success." "She's going to Berne..." "Basel, Freiburg, Strasbourg... then north... to Hamburg, Kiel, Neumunster." "And then Holland:" "Amsterdam, Rotterdam, Brussels." "Tomorrow she's in Heidelberg." "She doesn't appear naked." "That's just a poster." ""Witches' Passion:" "Melodrama in Seven Cantos. "" "For two years now I'd had a first-class rail pass:" "A reward for VariaVision." "But I'd never used it, just to go... wherever I pleased... with no need to arrive." "Now that was exactly what I wanted." "To be on the move, to get away... where no one could find me." "I didn't want to talk anymore." "Departures" " Munich Station" "The express to Heidelberg is about to depart." "Mind the doors." "Have a pleasant journey." "Consul Theobald Handschuh, Isar Film, Munich." "Taken your advice, destination unknown, stop." "Will return when decided, stop." "Rhineland Express." "11:06 a.m. Between Adelshausen and Augusburg, travelling west." "AUGUSBURG STATION" "POST OFFICE" "That be me." "I thought it was you." ""Who's that?" I asked myself." "You've changed, you know, changed a lot." "You're older." "Have I changed that much?" "I feel so young." "Shall I show you?" "I'm going to the gynaecologists' congress in Basel." "I'm doing several shows there." "Do you want to see?" "What have we here?" "This is my Busty Ballerina... and this is for Emma the Yodeller." "This Goldilocks wig goes with it." "I'm a real knockout in a blonde wig." "That's the crinoline for it." "And this is Cannibal Clara's breakfast." "But the best of all is Davy Jones's Hooker." "Want to see her?" "I wear these special shoes." "I've got to take off my dress." "This is my favourite costume." "One shoe... and this other costume as well." "I put this on top and take this off." "Sometimes I sing, like when I'm Emma the Yodeller." "Then I put this wig on and I'm all blonde... like the Lorelei." "Sometimes I wear this little hat, too." "It varies, I made it myself." "Or other shoes and usually this heart." "Like it?" "And now, Davy Jones's Hooker." "Sorry, it's my stop." "I must go." "It's Heidelberg, I've got get off." "All the best!" "Heidelberg Station" "Witches' Passion" "COMMUNITY THEATRE" "One ticket for Witches' Passion." "You're too late, that was yesterday." "The press showing was this morning." "From today it's The Beggar Student." "Have they left?" "Is Fräulein Lichtblau still here?" "Have you asked at the Hotel Ritter?" "They left this afternoon." "Nine ladies and a driver." "Fräulein Lichtblau's room is free." ""Conspiracy..." "Crimes of Violence." ""Baader-Meinhof Gang." ""Wanted for murder, sabotage, bank robbery. "" "Aufschrey, Helga - 23.8.39" " Dülmen" "Schnüsschen!" "Lulu!" "BACHARACH" "In Bacharach on the Rhine" "The people are so friendly here" "And wonderful the wine" "When the early morning sun" "Through the mist doth shine" "ANTONI CIRCUS" "Next on the programme:" "Acrobatic artistry." "Please welcome, from South America, the Fernandez Duo!" "You know, I'm more intellectual now." "You have to be, to study." "You have to read more, and learn to falsify and verify and things." "Do you know that I've done lots of philosophy and group dynamics?" "That was really hard, I had an identity crisis then." "I failed my exams." "That was a blow to my self-esteem." "Aren't you going to say hello to Daddy?" "Lulu, what's the matter?" "I saw you from the train." "We've just seen Juan's act." "A great acrobatic act with a lovely girl." " Where's she from?" "Indonesia?" " Java." "She's gorgeous." "And you look so good together." "I don't know what to say." "What's wrong with Lulu?" "She's behaving so strangely." "Are you surprised?" " How are you, Juan?" " Well, thanks." "And you?" "I've got to go." "Love to Lulu." "What's going on?" "Don't we know each other?" "This is a police message." "Please remain seated." "There is no cause for alarm." "A-minor." "Remember?" "I said your piece was in A-minor." "I remember now!" "Thank you, enjoy your journey." " They're looking for terrorists." " Exactly." " What's this?" " My film." "Stefan Aufhauser Film Productions" "Hello, Stefan." "I couldn't warn you." "For obvious reasons." "That's..." "These are my comrades." "We'll leave tonight." "How did you get in?" "I had a key, remember?" "My God, Helga, how can you live like this?" "At last I'm needed." ""Today Only"" "Today is yesterday." "The sun it shines" "So cold, so cold" "And flowers fade" "And life grows old" "And what they say" "I cannot care" "I am a stranger" "Everywhere" "Where are you, where are you" "My beloved home?" "Sought, and glimpsed" "But never known" "The land where all my roses bloom" "Where all my friends can wander free" "Where all my dead return to me" "The land that speaks my native tongue" "O, where are you?" "Be brief:" "The phone belongs to the Revolution" "I hear a ghostly voice inside" "Where thou art not" "Doth joy reside" " Leave me alone." " Open the door!" "Forget it, I have had enough!" "Police!" "Open the door." "No, push off!" ""Early this morning, a special unit of the Munich police..." ""broke into the flat of the filmmaker Stefan A." ""He was said to have given refuge..." ""to members of the Baader-Meinhof Gang." ""Unaware of this, he took the order to open his door..." ""to be a practical joke, and refused." ""Police then opened fire through the door, severely wounding him." ""Subsequent searches yielded no evidence of terrorist involvement." ""A spokesman said that the tip-off came..." ""from an anonymous phone call." ""According to Schwabing Hospital, Stefan A. 's condition is critical." ""His name became known a few weeks ago when his film German Fear..." ""won a special prize at the Venice Film Festival. "" " I took that photo." "But you know all that." " Elisabeth." " Has the penny dropped?" " Well, I live in Bonn now." "Rolf and I have separated, the kids are grown up... so I work full-time." "I'm going to Marl for the Grimme Prize." "Are you still with Schnüsschen?" "Has she finished her course?" "You cannot keep modern women down." "We want more than just... a husband and kids today." "When do we arrive?" "We are separated, too." "I see." "Now I will show you some magic." "Two makes one and one makes two." "And I will make you... a witches' brew." "1964." "What do you think you're doing?" "DÜLMEN" "Hello, Frau Lichtblau." "It is Hermann Simon." "Can you tell me where Clarissa is?" "I have got to find her." "Yesterday she was in Aachen." "Now she's in Amsterdam, for two days." "For days I had been searching blindly:" "Would I find Clarissa... or wouldn't I?" "Might we just bump into each other, as we had done 10 years ago?" "I'd have liked to arrange that, secretly." "Fate was against it." "But I knew what I wanted now." "And I knew where I was going." "The performance has started." "You'll have to wait till the interval." "Can I listen?" ""And said she was no witch" ""Did willingly unclothe herself" ""Whereon the executioner" ""Did bind her to the rock" ""And did unbind her again" ""The accused cried out,"'O, woe!" ""'God in Heaven, help me"'" ""She was stretched upon the rack Cried that God should be her judge" ""Her arms did break" ""The Spanish boot was placed upon her" ""The screw screwed tight upon the right leg" ""She was enjoined to tell the truth" ""Made no reply" ""The screw screwed tight upon the left leg" ""Cried out she knew nothing Cried out she was innocent" ""Prayed for heaven's mercy" ""Mumbled she knew nothing" ""The left screw tightened" ""Accused stretched upon the rack" ""Cried out, "'Sweet Jesus, come to me"'" ""Said she knew nothing Though she should be done to death" ""Was stretched anew" ""Fell silent" "The night draws tight Around my eyes like a ring" "THE NIGHT DRAWS TIGHT" "AROUND MY EYES LIKE A RING" "My pulse transforms" "My blood to flame" "YET ALL AROUND IS COLD AND GREY" "O, GOD, AND IN THE QUICK OF DAY" "Yet all around is cold and grey" "O, God" "And in the quick of day" "I dream of death" "He is in the water I drink" "And in the bread I choke on" "For my woe" "There is no weight in any scale" ""And would not speak" ""Whereon the gaoler led her forth And shaved her head" ""The gaoler made report" ""He had found the stigma" ""He dug the needle in full deep" ""Which she felt not" ""Nor did blood come out" ""With shaven head" ""She was once more bound by hand and foot" ""And stretched again" ""And did lament and say" ""Henceforth she must beg her bread" ""Cried out, "'Bread!"'" ""Again fell silent, as if in sleep" ""And said she knew nothing" ""The right screw tightened" ""Called again, fell silent, straight" ""Clenched her jaws" ""Jaws broken open with irons" ""Left screw tightened" ""Whereon she said she could tell nothing" ""Though she should be done to death" "Your heart is bright as the night" "I see its light" "You think of me And the stars stand still" "Hotel Acacia" "Dearest, I'm here." "The stars stand still." "Come here, you'll catch cold." "I'm thinking of these last 10 years." "I was always waiting for you." "There was hardly a day when I didn't know where you were." "And there was hardly a day when I knew what you were thinking." "Can we make up for all that?" "I want to." "This tour is the first time I ever forgot you." "Especially today." "I've been following you." "It'll be a long time before you get me to talk." "I've been silent for so long, just talking to myself." "There are 1,000 voices in my head." "Echoes of my own voice." "Locked up for so long in my head." "I vowed never to love again." "And I kept that vow." "I swear to you that I kept my heart in check." "The whole time." "Since I was 16. 1 4 years." "Two times seven years." "They say... after seven years, no atom in our bodies is the same." "But longing remains." "I've always longed for you." "For love?" "For the moment that my whole heart says yes." "I could give you reasons for all the women in my life." "I've compared them." "No names, please, no names." "I don't want anyone but us in this room." "Let's be alone at last." "There were always others, it was terrible." "The wrong others." "No more." "I am free." "I think I'm free, too." "Will you mind if I go to sleep?" "Sleep." "I'm afraid to." "Perhaps I will, too." "In sleep... we become such strangers." "And we forget love." "I don't want things to be so hard ever again." "Forget love." "We must forget love." "But that's hard, too." "Sleep." "But I'm wide awake now." "What'll we do now?" "Shall we go to bed after all?" "The floor's so hard." "I'm afraid of that bed." "It's like all the other beds." "I'm glad we never went to bed together." "Can we last?" "Can we do the room?" ""Wait for me, I've an important appointment." ""I didn't want to wake you." ""You were sleeping so sweetly." "Clarissa."" "I think that in earlier ages, people were better at waiting." "When you went away, it took so long to arrive." "And it was always uncertain if you'd return." "It was the mothers who stayed at home and waited." "Years, decades, a whole lifetime." "Like my mother in the Hunsrück." "It was the first time in my life that I had to wait." "What did I say to Juan?" "Waiting makes me stupid." "But I loved her." "And how often I had made women wait... starting with my mother." "I was running away." "Though I'd sworn never to run away again." "Something had gone wrong in my life, right at the start... when the running away began." "I'd have liked to take Clarissa with me to the Hunsrück." "I'd have liked to take them all." "All my friends, all my women." "That would have caused a commotion!" "All that hate and envy... that self-righteousness, and intolerance." "That narrow, blinkered, dead-end, shit-stinking place... we call home." "2:00" " PRESS CONFERENCE" "You've spent all this time telling us about witch-hunting... and its relation to the oppression of women." "You've given us a lecture on Else Lasker-Schüler and her love poetry." "You've given us political, literary, and historical analyses." "But you've left out one very important thing." "What about you?" "What was your personal motivation?" "Let me just say this." "On this project, my whole heart said yes." "For the first time." "Are you a witch?" "YOUR HEART IS BRIGHT AS THE NIGHT I SEE ITS LIGHT" "YOU THINK OF ME AND THE STARS STAND STILL" "SIMMERN" "Dear Consul Handschuh... my journey has taken me back where it began, 10 years ago:" "My mother's village." "I know... it has nothing to teach me, and nothing to do with my chosen life." "That is just beginning." "And yet, this is to say goodbye to you." "I'm overwhelmed by your faith in me, but I have different dreams." "I must find out what they are." "I want to learn to wait." "Hermann W. Simon." "It's our Hermännsche." "Well, I never..." "I ain't seen you for years." "I know, you've come for your mother's 70th." "Hello, Glasisch." "You know, I was nearly a goner." "One foot in the grave." "The doctor said it was a coronary." "They took me to the hospital in Mainz, and gave me two by-passes." "Look at the scar, right down to here." "And the artery... they took it out of my leg." "Look, 25 centimetres." "It's called the widow's artery." "But I ain't married." "Don't you need it?" "No." "The blood finds another way." "You ain't changed a bit, Hermännsche."