"The whole art of clay pigeon shooting lies in the time." "The trick is, when I say "pull"..." "No!" "Sorry." "My fault, should have warned you there." "Weren't you ready?" "No, it's alright." "See they go up jolly quickly, don't they?" "You want a go?" "No I think I'll learn the shooting bit first." "Can you reload that, Pamela?" "Oh, I don't know." " They go in here, don't they?" " Shall I, Miss?" "I'm perfectly capable, thank you very much." "Well, we'll leave the reloading for a minute." "You see, when I say "pull"..." "Hoy Hastings." "Lovely day." "Morning, General." "Morning, ladies." " Morning!" " Morning!" "Well, now." "Kitty, why don't you have a try?" "You don't practice, you won't be ready for the Championship." "It's all set for the fourteenth." "Morning, Mr. Russell." "Briskly, eh?" "Morning, Mr. Poirot." "Bonjour, Captain Fowler." "Ooh!" "Good morning, Monsieur Poirot." "Bonjour, Mademoiselle Morgan." "You're in good voice, huh?" "It's your Captain Hastings, Monsieur Poirot." "He's got us all organized." "Captain Hastings is very good at that." "I thought the General was awfully good last night, with his recitation from Swinburne." "Oh!" "The General recites poetry with true military vigor." "Perhaps your niece can also be persuaded to entertain us one evening." "Well, perhaps, she will, Mr. Poirot." "Perhaps she will." "Excuse me." "John?" "John?" "Of course, the actual wound I got was ludricously minor." "I felt a complete fraud." "I'm sure it wasn't minor." "I assure you it was." "Mind you, I was convinced I was going to die, but that's only because I'm a coward." "Oh, John!" "Oh good morning, General." "Morning, Clapperton." " Good morning, General Forbes." " Morning, Miss Henderson." "Fine day." "A little breezy." "John?" " Good morning, Monsieur Poirot." " Madame Clapperton." "Have you seen John?" "Ah... yes, he is on the fore deck, Madame." " Oh!" "Shall I...?" " Sit down, Monsieur Poirot." "I didn't see you at dinner last night." "Non, non, non." "It was just a shade choppy, of course." " No no, I..." " Fortunately, I am an excellent sailor." "The one thing I must not do is overtire myself." "I live so intensely, if you know what I mean, Monsieur Poirot." "Oh, yes!" "As a matter of fact, I nearly wore myself out as a girl, in the war." "My hospital." "You've heard about my hospital." "Of course I had nurses, matrons and that sort of things  but I actually ran it." "Your vitality is formidable, dear lady." ""You're so alive, Adeline", they say to me." "But really, Monsieur Poirot, what would one be, if one wasn't alive?" "Dead, Madame." "I must find my husband." "You won't find sharks in the Mediterranean." "There you are." "Hello, my dear." "I did find you a chair." "Are you ah, are you feeling cold?" "I'm freezing." "I'd take a hatchet to that woman, if I were her husband." "Bonjour, Monsieur." "I knew a woman like that once." "In Hyderabad." "Absolutely poisonous." "In 87, that was." "And did anyone take a hatchet to her?" "No." "Last time I saw her, she was on her third husband." "Position is everything." "If you lose your balance, you can swing around and shoot over the mast." "Or worse!" "Colonel Clapperton?" "Colonel?" "Such a soldierly looking man." "Soldierly?" "He was in the Guards, wasn't he, General Forbes?" "Guards?" "Before the war, that fellow was on the music hall stage." "No!" "Fact." "Music hall stage." "War comes along, they start letting any one in." "Hun drops a stray bomb, pure good luck, he goes home with a flesh wound in the arm." "How did he meet Mrs. Clapperton?" "Mrs. Clapperton?" "Lady Pardoe she was, then." "Really?" "He got into her hospital, somehow." "Did it have anything to do with him being wounded, do you think?" "Oh yes, he had to be wounded." "You should get a bit of exercise, Miss Henderson." "Does you no good sitting around thinking, you know." "No, I know." "Unfortunately, my religion forbids it, at this time of year." "Oh?" "Oh!" "Right." "I mean, er..." "Well!" "Adeline!" "Oh hello, Dermot." "I've been trying to talk to you ever since you came on board." "We don't seem to have a lot to say to each other, have we?" "Oh, surely, after all these..." "What do you want?" "I was just..." "Were you spying on us?" "I wanted to clear your trays, Ma'am." "Well, get on and do it, then." "I am a happily married woman, General Forbes." "It's her family I feel sorry for." "No soldier songs, I said." "No Indian love letters." "What does she sing?" ""The Army of Today's Alright" and "Kashmiri Love Song"." "You can't expect no better from civilians, sir." "We're all civilians now, Bates." "The trouble with a cruise like this is you're forced to suffer amateur entertainment night after night." "Oh, we'd rather enjoyed it, didn't we, Molly?" "What did you think, Colonel Clapperton?" "John would be quite happy to sit and listen to that dreadful woman for hours." "He has no taste at all as far as anything artistic goes." "It's true." "Mrs. Tolliver is artistic." "Must be a great solace to you." "We're really looking forward to seeing the museum in Alexandria tomorrow." "John and I won't be going ashore." "We never bother with antiquities." "One must live in the present, don't you find?" "My house has nothing in it older than three years." "I'll have to be selling my car next year then, darling." ""My" car, I think, John." "Certainly, my dear." "Your car." "Voilà ce qu'on appelle pukka sahib." "(This is what we call pukka sahib)" "Twenty past ten." "Indeed." "Well, what about bridge?" "Bridge?" "Bridge?" "Yes, bridge." "Come on." "We can use the dining table." "Oh, may we join you?" "What about you, Captain?" "Oh, John won't play." "Most tiresome of him." "Sorry." "So, you can join us, if you like." "What was your name, again?" "Tolliver." "Mrs. Tolliver." "And I am her husband, Mr. Tolliver." "What a clever arrangement." " A kidnapping!" " A kidnapping!" "You're coming with us, it's a kidnapping!" "A Clapperton-napping!" "To the fore deck!" "Don't be foolish, John." "You'll catch a chill." "Not with us, he won't." "We're hot stuff." "Anyway, there's a moon." "Bonsoir." "Bonsoir." "Do you ever go down on your knees and thank God you didn't have any children?" "Well as a matter of fact, we did." "Two, a little boy and a little girl." "Oh, for heaven's sake, get on and deal." "I know it's the most awful romantic cliché, but the moon is beautiful, isn't it?" "Certainement." "It is like a giant oeuf en cocotte." "Monsieur Poirot!" "Mademoiselle, I want to ask your advice on the matter of the English language." "I'm sure you don't need that." "Mademoiselle is too amiable, huh?" "But no." "Just now, Madame Clapperton said, that "John won't play bridge"." "Is not "can't play" the usual term?" "She takes it as a personal insult that he doesn't play, I suppose." "The man was a fool, ever to have married her." "Many odious woman have devoted husbands, huh?" "It is an enigma of nature." "Which is perhaps why the estimable Captain Hastings has not yet taken the plunge into matrimony." "Matrimony?" "Urgh!" "You're not in for the clay pigeon championship yet, are you, Miss Henderson?" "Er... no, I don't think I really mean to..." "Hastings!" "Can't you talk of something else, for once?" "No, no, I'd love to talk about the clay pigeon championship, but tomorrow perhaps?" "I have some letters to finish that I want to post in Alexandria." "Good night, Mademoiselle Henderson." "Good night." " Good night, Miss Henderson." " Good night." " Oh Hastings, Hastings..." " What?" "Whatever is the use of me introducing you to nice young ladies, if all you do is talk about the shooting of the clay pigeons?" "They like it." "You heard what Miss Henderson said, she'd love to talk about it tomorrow?" "Oh!" "Hastings, Hastings, Hastings..." "Now, pick a card." "No, don't show me." "Now, remember what the card is and put it back into the pack." "That's good." "Now, just a little shuffle..." "Your card!" "Geez!" "Isn't that clever?" "I see you enjoy playing cards, monsieur, even though you do not play bridge." "I have my reasons for not playing bridge." "I'll show you." "Sit down." "We'll play one hand." "You can shuffle the cards, Mr. Poirot." "Voilà!" "See?" "Any man who can deal his partner and adversaries any hand he pleases, had better stand aloof from a friendly game of cards." "But how did you do it?" "I mean, it all looked perfectly ordinary." "Ah!" "The quickness of the hand deceives the eye." "You could go on stage, with that, Colonel Clapperton." "Yes, quite." "Well, I hope I haven't bored you with my little demonstration." "Good night, ladies, gentlemen." "Did I say something wrong?" "I don't know, Hastings." "I really don't know." "Oh, we ought to get off now." "You'll come with us, won't you?" " You won't let us go ashore by ourselves." " Miss, Miss!" "Miss Miss!" "Oh please go away!" "Genuine bits from the tombs of the Pharaohs." "I don't want any Pharaoh's bits." "You see?" "Awful things might happen to us." "Well, I certainly don't think you should go alone." "Hurray!" "But I'm not sure if my wife feels up to it." "Hurray!" "I mean er.. boo." "She can have a nice long rest." "Well, I'll go and have a word with Adeline." "We'll come with you." "Yes, perhaps we can persuade her to come." "Who's there?" "Adeline my dear, it's John." "The door's locked." "I don't want to be disturbed by the stewards." "Bonjour, ladies." "We're trying to get him to ourselves, for the day." "Lure him into the souq." "Cajole him into the casbah." "What about coming ashore?" "Certainly not." "I've had a very bad night." "I'm staying in bed most of the day." "Well, I think I might go, Adeline." "Oh do as you like, John, for heaven's sake." "Do you mind if I just come in and get my bedecker?" "Yes, I do mind." "I am not getting out of bed." "Do go away, John, and let me have a little peace." "We can go now." "What about your passport?" " In my pocket." " Glory be!" "Miss!" "Miss!" "No, no, no!" "Please, please I really must go." " How much are those amber ones?" " 300 piastre." " Well that's far too much." " Mine 200, Miss." "Oh, very well." "Look I'll take the amber ones." "But after that, I really must go." "Here!" "Get off you!" "You are not allowed down here." "Cheeky blighter!" " Ah, Hastings!" "Are you ready to go?" " All set." "Going ashore, General Forbes?" "Well yes." "Very probably." "I'll see you." "See you later." "I think we ought to avoid the usual sort of tourist thing, as much as we can, Poirot." "Good, good." "I am absolutely in your hands, Hastings." "Be looking fierce." "Savage." "Non, non, Hastings." "Now you look merely constipated." "It's all very well for you." "This camel's jolly uncomfortable for sitting on." "It's sharp." "Good morning, Monsieur Poirot." "Ah bonjour, Mademoiselle Henderson." "Good morning, Captain Hastings." "Oh!" "Good morning." "Like that." "Ready." " Doesn't he look dashing?" " Oh yes, indeed." "You know, he looks as if he is summoning up the courage to order a second tea cake." "Monsieur Poirot, have you seen the Clappertons at all, this morning?" "I believe Madame Clapperton was spending the day in her cabin." "Ah!" "And what about Colonel Clapperton?" "Ah..." "let me think, he came ashore." "Yes, no." "Certainly he came ashore." "It's just that there was some talk last night of us all going ashore together." " Monsieur Poirot?" " Yes, Mademoiselle." "Was Colonel Clapperton alone when he came ashore?" "Was he alone?" "Let me think." "Maybe someone was with him." "Miss Mooney and Miss Cregan, perhaps?" "Ah, yes!" "Yes, the two little girls." "Yes." "They're not children, Monsieur Poirot." "Oh, non." " Nor am I." " Non." "Very good, hawaga (lord)." "I say, Poirot!" "Look at these pomegranates." "Sorry?" "I don't think they like you to touch the fruit, Captain Hastings." "Sorry." "Monsieur and Madame Tolliver, what a pleasant surprise." "Are you alone?" "Quite alone, yes." "That nice General Forbes joined us for a while, but he had to rush back." "He wasn't feeling at all the thing." " Cheapy tummy, I dare say." " Oliver!" "Now, we were just about to take some lunch." "Would you care to join us?" "Lunch?" "In a native place, you mean?" "I say!" "Why not, Molly?" "Let's give it a go." "Count me out, Poirot." "I think I'll better be getting back to the ship." "Aw, must you desert us, Hastings?" "Ah.., one or two things to catch up on, you know." "Very well." "Monsieur and Madame Tolliver and I will see you back on board ship late afternoon." "Please!" "We'll let the two girls go first, because they're the least experienced." "Then, it'd better be General Forbes." "He's an old hand at this sort of competition." "We can't do it in the middle of Alexandria harbor, sir." "Oh, I don't see why not, Bates." "We shoot in the general direction of the open sea." "There's nothing much parked out there." " Moored, sir." " Moored?" "Well, I'm sure the harbor Master will have something to say about it, sir." "It started in India, you know." "Beg your pardon?" "Had its origins in India." "Clay pigeons." "Oh, really?" "In the thirteenth century." "Of course, it was bows and arrows, then." "And they didn't have that catapult thing." "Just had these fellows with tremendously strong arms." "Come along, Pamela!" "Ah!" "Mademoiselle Mooney and the Colonel Clapperton." "You've had an enjoyable day ashore, I trust." " Absolutely." " Good!" "Come on, Pammy!" "I'll see you at dinner, perhaps?" "I hope so." "Adeline?" "Adeline?" "Adeline, my dear?" "Adeline?" "It's locked." "You do not have your key?" "No, I'll find the steward." "Ah Poirot!" "We seem to be having some trouble with the clay pidgeon championship." "Really?" "It was originally planned, you see, to take place on the fourteenth, but it seems that we dock at Haifa on the thirteenth," "and that's one of those places where we more or less have to go ashore and look at the ruins, while they refuel the ship." "Now, that leaves the fifteenth, the sixteenth and the eighteenth." "Seventeenth's no good, because that's the night of the Captain's party." "Oh, my God!" "My God!" "She's dead!" "Fetch the Captain, mon ami." "Look at this, Poirot." "One of the souvenir sellers must have dropped it." "That devils!" "Colonel Clapperton, what a tragedy." "Can you help us with this, Mr. Poirot?" "I want to avoid involving the Egyptian police, if possible." "Yes, Captain." "Perhaps I can." "Is anything missing, as far as you can tell, Colonel Clapperton?" "My wife always keeps..." "Kept." "Always kept some cash on the second drawer of the dressing table." "It seems to have gone." "How much was that?" "Between twenty and thirty pounds." "Anything else?" "Her jewels." "They weren't very many." "Most of them were in the Captain's safe." "Perhaps you could let us have a description of them." "I'll try." "Don't know if I can remember them very exactly." "I know the headband thing she was wearing last night was gone." "What can you tell me about this?" "That's not my wife's." "You're quite sure?" "Quite, she'd never wear a thing like that." "It is found on the floor between the two beds." "Then someone must have dropped it there." "Would you say that your wife had any enemies?" "Certainly not." "Colonel Clapperton, you have been most helpful." "Thank you very much." "May I offer you my condolences?" "If there's anything we can do, Colonel..." "Thank you, Captain." "There's nothing." "Nothing can bring Adeline back again." "Good God!" "Murdered, General Forbes." "Good God above!" "You were acquainted with Madame Clapperton before this voyage, I think." "I knew Adeline when she was Lady Pardoe." "I knew her before that, when she was Adeline French." "I was ADC to her father back in '92 when she was seven years old." "God, I can hardly believe it!" "I was in love with her for years." "She was not always the silly woman she became." "You must not incriminate yourself, Monsieur." "Incriminate myself?" "How could I?" "Monsieur and Madame Tolliver tell me that you came back to the ship before lunch." "What of it?" "Saying that you were ill?" "No." "All right, no." "I came back to talk to Adeline." "I hadn't seen her for seventeen years, not since the war." "That was after Pardoe died." "I thought there might be a chance for me then, but I didn't..." "I mean, she was in mourning." "Of course, that didn't deter a man like Clapperton." "You came back to the ship to talk to Madame Clapperton." "Yes." "Tell me what happened when you got back to the ship." "Well, nothing happened." "I went to her cabin and knocked, and she didn't reply..." "So I went back to mine... and had a nap." "Well, what do you say, Mr. Poirot?" "One cannot hurry the little grey cells, Captain." "You rounded up the souvenir wallahs yet?" "Yes." "Actually one of them identified Miss Henderson as having bought an amber necklace." "Really?" "Come in!" "Yes, Bates?" "I've carried out my examination of the body, sir." "And?" "The deceased died from a knife wound to the upper thorax, sir." "God, Bates!" "We can all see that for ourselves." "I'm sorry, Sir." "But I've..." "I've only got me first aid book, haven't I?" "At what time did she die, Monsieur Bates?" "Oh, erm!" "It's difficult to say, sir." "What with the weather being so warm, and..." "Never mind about that, Bates." "What we want to know is, what time was Mrs. Clapperton killed." "About ten o'clock this morning, Sir." "Ten, eh?" "Give or take one hour or two, Sir." "Dear God!" "It's alright, Kitty." "You weren't to know, old thing." " Who is it?" " It is I, Hercule Poirot." "Alright, Kitty." "Oh!" "Hello Monsieur Poirot." "Bonsoir, Mademoiselle Cregan." "May I come in for a minute, please?" "Well..." "I only have one question." "No, it's just that Kitty is making such a blessed racket." "Oh dear, dear!" "She blames herself, you see." "Well... and me." "But how can she blame herself?" "Well, we did say some pretty dreadful things about her." "My dear Mademoiselle Cregan, if everyone on board who had said unpleasant things about Madame Clapperton were to make as much noise as your friend, this vessel would become a danger to ship in." "There!" "You hear that, old girl?" "What was the one question?" "Oh it is quite simple, really." "You both left the ship this morning at nine-thirty with the Colonel Clapperton, yes?" "You know we did, you saw us." "Précisément." "So, please tell me, was Colonel Clapperton with you for the whole day until you got back to the ship at four o'clock this afternoon?" "Yes." "Absolutely." "Every minute of the day." "He doesn't think..." "Oh no..." "Every minute of the day, you say?" "Absolutely." "Well..." "Yes?" "Well, we went to a café for some tea at about twelve and he, Colonel Clapperton that is... well he went to the..., you know..." "For a couple of minutes." "Ah!" "I understand." "But just for a couple of minutes, you say?" "Well, one doesn't time it." "Oh no, you don't!" "You've got a lot of questions to answer, my lad, unless I'm very much mistaken." "I didn't kill her." "You had her jewelry." "Jewelry?" "She was rich." "What did it matter to her?" "Come, Mr. Skinner!" "Madame Clapperton is dead." "You are caught red-handed by my colleague, Captain Hastings, trying to sell the jewellery of Madame Clapperton." " You admit that you let yourself in her cabin this morning..." " She was dead already." "I shouldn't have taken it, not when I saw she was dead." "I known it'd be trouble." "Do you believe him?" "Yes, I think I do." "Me too." "So, we're back to the souvenir hawkers." "Why do you not consider one of the passengers, Hastings?" "The passengers?" "Who?" "Colonel Clapperton?" "A watertight alibi." "General Forbes?" "What about Mademoiselle Henderson?" "Really?" "No!" "Well I think perhaps she has the motive, non?" "She's a lady, Poirot." "And you think, mon ami, that ladies do not commit murder?" "Ladies don't get found out." "Madame Clapperton had been dead for at least five hours when she was found." "A small amount of money and some jewellery had been taken." "A string of beads was on the floor near to her bed." "The door was locked and the key missing." "And the hatch which gives onto the deck was opened." "What are you driving at, Poirot?" "Madame Clapperton had locked the door from the inside." "We actually heard her say so herself." "If Mrs. Clapperton could locked the door, she could unlock it too, I suppose." "Précisément!" "Precisely!" "Which leads us to the inescapable conclusion that Madame Clapperton unlocked the door and let in the murderer." "Miss Henderson, I hope you don't mind me asking, but you bought an amber necklace yesterday, didn't you?" "Yes, I did." "How did you know that?" "The Captain mentioned it." "He just happened to mention it." "Would you mind if I had a look at it?" "I'm afraid I've lost it." "I must have dropped it somewhere." "Put it down, I don't know." "Yes, right." "Of course." "I thought Mrs. Clapperton a very unpleasant woman." "In fact, I don't think anyone on board ship really liked her, but surely..., who would have reason to kill her?" "Mademoiselle, it is the opinion of every person on board the ship that the Colonel Clapperton would have been quite justified in taking a hatchet to her." "Now, that was an expression I actually heard you use." "But..., he had an alibi." "He was on shore all day with the two girls and he did not returned to the ship until four o'clock that afternoon." "By which time, Madame Clapperton had been dead for many hours." "Seems to me we're back to General Forbes as our only suspect." "Bonsoir, Mademoiselle Morgan." "I want, please, to ask a favor of your niece." "Our niece?" "Very well." "Ismene!" "Good evening, Ismene." "I want to borrow somebody from you, if I may." "Ladies and gentlemen." "Tonight I shall offer you a gem from our national poet," "Mr. Rudyard Kipling." "Starting with "The Ladies"." ""I've taken my fun where I've found it."" ""I've rogued an' I've ranged in my time."" ""I've 'ad my pickin' o' sweet'earts,"" ""An' four o' the lot was prime."" ""One was an 'arf-caste widow,"" ""One was a woman at Prome,"" ""One was the wife of a jemadar-sais,"" ""An' one is a girl at 'ome."" " Pardon me, Mr. Russell..." " That's all right." ""Now I aren't no 'and with the ladies,"" "I'm sorry, I, I have to make an announcement." "If you'd be good enough sit down, sir." "You come and join us, Mr. Russell." "Ladies and gentlemen, you all know what a tragedy occurred yesterday." "And I'm sure you will all want to cooperate in bringing the perpetrator of the foul crime to book." "As you know, we are fortunate enough to have on board with us, Mr. Hercule Poirot, who is probably known to you all as a man who has wide experience in  such matters." "I hope you'll listen carefully to what he has to say." "Mr. Poirot." "Thank you, Captain Fowler." "Mesdames, messieurs (Ladies, Gentlemen)." "What I am about to do may surprise you a little." "It may occur to you that I am eccentric, perhaps mad." "Ah!" "You may say" ""the little Belgian detective is taking leave of his rocker", ah?" "But I can assure you  behind my madness is, as you English say  method." "Voilà!" "A suitcase." "How uninteresting." "Nothing is less interesting then a suitcase, yes?" "And you are right, except  suitcases have contents." " It's a doll." " Yes, a doll." "Except this doll is an important witness" "to the truth of who killed" "Madame Clapperton." "But how it is this doll can tell us what it knows, huh?" "But this is a doll that can speak." "You have not heard of dolls that can speak?" "Yes, of course you have." "All we have to do is put this doll back in the suitcase, where we cannot see her." "She does not like to be seen, this little lady." "Do you, ma petite?" "No!" "Now, can you tell us anything about the death of Madame Clapperton?" "What is it, John?" "The door's locked." ""The door's locked."" "Don't want to be disturbed by the stewards." ""I don't want to be disturbed by the stewards."" "You..." "Stop him!" "Yes." "Take him to my quarters." "Ladies and gentlemen, if you would clear the room." "Thank you, ladies and gentlemen." "Did I do it right, Mr. Poirot?" "Oh, yes, ma petite." "It was you, General, who gave me a valuable hint with your mention of the music hall stage." "I puzzled, huh." "I think." "And then, the evening before the crime," "Colonel Clapperton pretended to give himself away." "He wanted us to believe that he was a conjurer, because then, it would never occur to us that he was in fact  a ventriloquist." "And that's what he did, when you heard him talk to Mrs. Clapperton through a cabin door." "Précisément." "And by then, she was already dead." "Excuse me." "What about the necklace on the floor?" "Was it Miss Henderson's?" "Non, It was put there to make us think that some native thief was the killer." "But that it cast suspicion on someone who really cared for him was a cruel irony." "Pardon." "I am sorry, Mademoiselle." "He didn't do it for me." "It was those girls' youth." "It made him feel his slavery." "He wanted to be free before it was too late." "We all have such dreams." "When did you guess it was him?" "His self-control was too perfect." "No matter how appalling was the conduct of his wife, it never seemed to touch him." "That either meant that he was so used to it, that it no longer stung, or else he knew his bondage would soon be over." "It was a cruel dirty trick you played, Monsieur Poirot." "I do not approve of murder, Mademoiselle."