"♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYS) ♪" "Subject lion fails to react to approach of cardboard zebra at 35 feet." "Ok, zebra, move it up." "Come on, zebra, move it up." "That's just a lazy cross-eyed lion and he's not gonna hurt you." "(LION SNORING)" "Ah, for Pete's sake, Clarence, wake up, will you?" "Just this once try and act like a lion, huh?" "Brother." "Ok, Sultan, you stay put." "There." "Ok, Sleeping Beauty, now let's get something straight between us." "I know about all this propaganda that you are the king of the beasts and the monarch of the jungle, but, uh, just forget it." "Around this compound, you are another experimental animal." "So get up on your feet and give us some reactions, Come on." "(GROWLING)" "Hey, Jack, why don't you give Clarence a chow break?" "A chow break?" "His whole life around here is one big chow break." "In fact, he's the most out-to-lunch animal in the whole compound." "Well, why don't you substitute Sultan for Clarence?" "I'm sure he'd be more than willing, and ever since he's been here he's been dying for some attention." "(MARSH OVER WALKIE-TALKIE):" "Marsh Tracy calling Wameru, do you read?" "Over." "Yeah, Marsh, I read you." "I just wish Clarence could read me." "Why, what's the matter, Jack?" "Well, he's being his usual miserable self." "I have been trying to run some visual tests on him with a cardboard zebra and if that worked out" "I'd try a real zebra." "Well, I wish you luck." "Look, um..." "Hedley just brought me word that we have to join that government survey team at Nagoro." "Uh, how would you like to trade places?" "You better finish that experiment." "Write it up and then submit it to a scientific journal." "(JACK):" "Oh, Marsh." "I know Clarence can be trying, but how many lions do you know that have internal strabismus." "In other words, just because Clarence is cross-eyed," "I have to cater to him, right?" "You graduated in animal psychology;" "why don't you apply it to Clarence?" "Thanks a lot." "Look, anyway, will you tell Paula and Mike that we'll be back in a few days and, um, then I have to go out again alone, right?" "Yeah, they're right here, they can hear you." "I'll do my best with Clarence." "Thanks, Jack." "And good luck." "Oh, you ready to go?" "Uh..." "Yeah." "Come on." "Well, how about it?" "Substituting Sultan for Clarence?" "You heard your Dad." "Clarence is unique." "Therefore, we are stuck with our cock-eyed wonder." "(KISSING)" "I just wish there was some sort of experiment you could use Sultan in." "He's so neglected and he just sits there in the sun like a lizard." "Naturally, he's been taking lessons from Clarence." "You know, I kind of feel sorry for Sultan myself." "He doesn't even have a buddy like Sarang." "Look, Mike, I would gladly exchange Clarence for Sultan, but you know I can't." "Well, time to get back to work." "Ok, Clarence, hit the field and fight for the home team." "Judy, hit that line, move the zebra up to the 20-foot stripe." "(GRUNTING)" " That's my girl." " (CLARENCE GROWLS)" "All right, Clarence." "Some reactions if you please." "Just focus those great big beautiful and very rare eyes on the target for today." "Clarence, the target is not me." "It's the zebra." "(GRUNTING)" "(KISSING)" "(CLARENCE GROWLS)" "Clarence isn't growling at you, Jack, it's his stomach." " Why don't I get him some food?" " Oh, no you don't." "You know what happens to Clarence after a good meal." " Mm-hm." "Goes to sleep." " Exactly." "(PAULA):" "Well, Sultan would cooperate." "Sorry, Paula." "Unfortunately, my subject animal is Clarence." "Ok, here is my official ultimatum." "No work, no food." "In short, you cooperate or you starve." "(GROWLS)" "All right." "That I take as an official declaration of war." "We'll just have to wait and see, uh, what surrenders first:" "your extremely stubborn will power or your extremely greedy stomach." "Yes, sir, my friend, your days a privileged pet are over." "(GROWLS)" "Ah, good morning, ladies." "I was just coming to talk to you." "Toto, you and Judy aren't too tired to help me with Clarence again today, are you?" "(GRUNTING)" "Good, thank you." "Clarence, rise and shine." "Well, good morning, Your Majesty." "Are you ready to resume the royal experiment?" "(ROARING)" "He's waiting for you to feed him some breakfast, especially when you didn't feed him any dinner last night." "Well, he's gonna have a long, long wait." "Jack, you know how difficult it is to work on an empty stomach." "Aw, come on, Mike, I hardly think our free-loading boarder here is starving to death." "Ok, Clarence, here's the schedule:" "1 hour of work in the experimental area and you get breakfast." "That's fair, isn't it?" "(ROARING)" "Ok, buddy, you can growl from now to kingdom come, but as I told you yesterday, no work, no food." "Come on." "Let's go." "(GROWLING)" "Hey, where'd you think you're going?" "He's heading for the bush!" "Clarence, come back here!" "Clarence, stop fooling around and come on back." "(LOW GROWL)" "We better get the truck and go after him." "He could get hurt out there." "Oh, I doubt that." "He's a full-grown lion." "Even the scent would scare away most of the animals on the compound." "Besides, he's been on these little expeditions before." "Jack's right, Paula." "Clarence knows enough about the bush around here to stay out of trouble." "And when he gets hungry he'll just come back." "He always does." "Well, maybe he'll just show you 2 fellas that he can go out there and find some food for himself in the bush." "Are you kidding?" "With his eyes, Clarence couldn't find any game if he fell over it." "Stubborn animal." "Beginning to think he's half mule." "Well, he's not the only one around here that fits that description." "Ok, look, Miss Tracy, this is my experiment and we don't need any Monday morning quarterbacks." "And Clarence is my pet." "Don't let anything happen to him." "I suggest a time-out so everybody can cool off, including Clarence." "All right." "Anyway, I have to get up to Lake Tanoe and continue my bird photography." "Judy, you don't mind coming along, do you?" "Ah, good." " See you fellas later." " Mm-hm." "Ready, Judy?" "Marsh wanted to make some alkaline tests at the waterhole, so I think I better shove off too." "Oh, you're beginning to sound like you agree with Paula." "Me?" "No." "No, no, no." "You're the psychologist." "Psychologist." "(GRUNTING)" "Oh, Toto, you have an opinion too, huh?" "Great." "Just great." "(GRUNTING)" "Come on, Toto." "Look, I know you wanna play, but I'm busy, so you'll have to go play by yourself." "Hey, Toto!" "Hey, you nut!" "Hey, what's the matter with you anyhow?" "You know I need this." "Oh, I get it." "You miss Clarence, huh?" "I'll tell you something confidentially: so do I." "Now, look, Toto, I know he's hungry, but he's got to learn to shape up." "You know, like you and Judy do." "(HOWLING)" "No, I am not going out after Clarence, and that is final." "(CONTINUES HOWLING)" "Aw, look, Toto." "Look, what could happen to him out there?" "He's a lion, the king of the beasts, muscles all over." "'Course, trouble is, most of 'em are in his head." "Guess Clarence's eyes aren't too good." "There are poacher pits out there." "Nope." "He has got to learn discipline." "(LOW GROWL)" "(BELLOWING)" "(CALLING)" "(MOVIE CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)" "(CHUCKLES)" "Oh, I know, Judy, Jack's right." "But what if Clarence should wander into a lake and get stepped on by a hippo, or bitten by a crocodile?" "We can't let that happen to him, can we?" "(GRUNTING)" "Then again, Jack's pretty stubborn." "Well, somebody's gonna simply have to go out there and rescue Clarence and it's up to us." "Least we know he headed towards the lake by his tracks." "We're just gonna have to keep on tracking him." "(RUSTLING IN THE BUSHES)" "(MIKE):" "Paula." "Mike, I thought you were supposed to be checking out the waterholes." "Oh, I checked a few, but Clarence wasn't around any of them." "Hey, aren't you supposed to be bird watching?" "Well, after a while I thought it was strictly for the birds." "I'm worried about Clarence." "He's so tame and gentle, the poor thing." "Hey, don't worry you two, we'll find him." "Paula, there's a grove of shade trees near here that Clarence goes to from time to time." "Likes to scratch his back on the bark." "Judy suppose you climb up and see if you can spot Clarence?" "(GRUNTING)" "Judy, shh!" "Shh!" "Hey, Judy must have spotted him." "Great." "You little rat-fink." "You couldn't keep your lip buttoned, could you?" "Uh, well, uh, meet sentimental Jack Dane, tracer of lost lions." "I thought you told us you were gonna stay at the compound." "You've decided to feed Clarence after all." "What, with this?" "No, no, no." "I may hit him over the head with it, but it will never reach his lips 'til he performs properly." "Then why'd you bring it in the first place?" "Oh, it's a little bit of bait for that applied psychology your father was talking about." "(LOW GROWL)" "(GRUNTING)" "(PARROT SCREECHES)" "(GRUNTING)" "What's with her?" "(CONTINUES GRUNTING)" "What is it, Judy?" "I don't believe it." "Clarence a great lover?" "He's just eaten." "But he's not supposed to be able to catch any game, he's cross-eyed." "Maybe he found it." "There's no such thing as a spare meal in the bush." "Oh, I suspect that his lady-friends went out shopping for him." "Uh, no doubt in one of the native delicatessens." "(CHUCKLES) Clarence." "Look at him." "A lady-killer." "The lion who came to dinner." "(LOW GROWL)" "(GRUNTING)" "(GROWLING)" "Would you look at that." "Clarence looks like a sultan with his own harem." "Well, he's had his banquet, so we'll do him a little favor." "We'll take him home so that he won't have to help wash the dishes." "(CLICKS TEETH) That may not be so easy." "His charming hostesses may want him to stay for breakfast." "(PAULA):" "You mean they think that he's their new mate?" "Well, you take 3 lonely lionesses, widowed or rejects, with no male to hunt for." "Along comes old Clarence, the most eligible bachelor in the animal kingdom..." "Result?" "A wife and 2 doting sisters-in-law." "(JACK):" "I don't see how Clarence could've sweet-talked 'em into it." "I'd have thought they'd have torn him to bits." "Hey, I get it." "Don't you recognize those little cubs as the ones we used to have at the compound?" "That's Juliet, Cleo and Josephine." "Oh, yeah." "(MIKE):" "No wonder they're feeding Clarence." "They're old buddies." "This is a Wameru alumni reunion." "Except that they're no longer helpless little girls." "(JACK):" "Well, they're still gonna have to give him up." "Besides, he's too old for them." "Well, some women prefer older men." "Well, fun and game time is over." "I need Clarence." "Jack, if I were you I would not invade Clarence's territory." "Not now." "Territory or his honeymoon." "Either way, it's time for Clarence to go home." "(GROWLING)" "(HOWLING)" "Jack." "I wouldn't go any closer." "I won't go any closer." "We'll let Clarence come to us." "Ok, Clarence, let's go." "Kiss the girls goodbye." "Come on." "(ROARING)" "You know, I think he plans to spend the night." "I have a feeling Clarence wants us to leave." "Well, I don't know how I'm supposed to work this applied psychology bit with an old ox bone when those three beauties have just brought him a 10-course meal." "And without making him work for it." "But I do have to try, don't I?" "Hey, Clarence?" "Hey, look what I've got here, boy." "(LOW GROWL)" "Now, if you come back now I'm gonna forget about everything and we'll start from scratch, ok?" "(ROARING)" "(HOWLING)" "We got a deal, old buddy?" "Come on, don't be stubborn." "Let's get outta here before somebody gets hurt." "Those lionesses mean business." "She's right, Jack." "We cannot handle 3 angry ladies." "Look, I am not being stubborn." "I need Clarence to finish those experiments." "Jack, be reasonable." "Think of Judy." "She could get hurt." "Ok." "Come on, Judy." "But don't think you're getting away with anything, Clarence, you and those 3 witches." "I'll be back, MacBeth." "(GROWLS)" "Excuse me." "Romeo." " Hey, Mike?" " Mm-hm?" " Let me have this for a minute, huh?" " Sure." " Who are you calling?" " Your father." "This is something he's gotta see for himself." "Jack calling Marsh Tracy." "Jack calling Marsh Tracy." "You read me, Marsh?" "By George, you're right." "You know something?" "I never would've believed it." "I had no idea Clarence was such a charmer." "Yeah." "There you go, Marsh." "Oh, wait, whoa, whoa, what's this for?" "There's 3 of them and there's 3 of us." "If we each take one lioness we can tranquilize them at the same time." "Wait a minute, wait a minute." "Are you suggesting that we try and bring Clarence back to the compound by force if necessary?" " Well, yes, he belongs there." " Does he?" "Well, of course he does." "(HEDLEY):" "I disagree." "I think Clarence is having a perfectly wonderful time out here." "(LIONS GROWLING)" "3 beautiful females to wait on him hand and foot, providing him with food and love." "Right." "All the comforts of home." "And what more does he need?" "Well, he needs us, that's what more he needs." "Well, Jack, if he did, he'd come back on his own accord, wouldn't he?" "Look, uh, Clarence is having a... what do the kids call it?" "A love-in, He seems perfectly happy." "A..." "A love-in?" "Marsh, you've gotta be kidding." "Clarence is not a flower child." "He's not a hippie." "He is a compound animal who is totally helpless in the outside world." "Maybe he was, Jack, because of his handicap, but don't forget, he was born in the bush." "And now that he has 3 doting females to hunt for him, protect him, that handicap's jolly well overcome." "Exactly." "Oh, come on, now, Jack." "We have no right to interfere with the balance of nature out there." "All right, this may all be very true, Marsh, but I have devoted much too much time to Clarence to let him stay here, love-in or no love-in." "Look, Jack, Clarence is now the head of a pride." "He belongs here." "That means you won't help me." "I'll do it myself." "(LIONS GROWLING)" "Uh, Jack." "I think you'd better get back here before you get hurt." "Marsh, look, what about the experiment?" "If Clarence stays here the whole project goes right down the drain." "Well, I guess that's part of being a research scientist, huh?" "I gotta get on with my survey." "Hedley'll go back with you to help out." "But Jack, do me 1 favor, will you?" "Just leave Clarence alone?" "Yeah, and there goes 6 months' work." "Well, what's more important, 6 months' work or what Clarence has found for himself: a new life?" "Take it easy." "(HOWLING)" " Hey, Mike, where are you going?" " Well, down to feed..." "Oh, boy." "It must be force of habit." "Every morning I wake up, I say, "It's time to feed old Clarence."" "Hey, Judy, here, why don't you take this down to Sultan?" "I know just how you feel." "This morning when I came out to greet the day I said" ""Good morning, Clarence, old boy," before I realized he wasn't there." "Yes, the lawn looks pretty bare now that Clarence is gone." "Perhaps we can put a fountain or something in his place." "No, Paula, it wouldn't work." "Fountain would be beautiful, would bubble merrily, but it could never take the place of magnificent old Clarence." "Aw, come on, why don't you all stop being so pointedly polite, huh?" "Why, what are you talking about, Jack?" "It's what you're all not talking about." "I know I sent Clarence into the bush and it's my fault he's not here anymore." "Jack, nobody's blaming you." "Well, I am." "If I'd fed him he'd still be here and everybody'd be happy." "You'd still have your experiment." "Instead, you have to write it off as a failure." "Well, if it had to be a failure, at least this way" "Clarence got something out of it." "Only would have taken me another 2 or 3 days." "3 more days." "Suppose we got Clarence back here temporarily, on a 3-day pass?" "The only thing we'd have to do would be to find a suitable replacement so that his male presence wouldn't be missed." "Hedley, how about it?" "We'd search the bush and find one, a rogue male with no pride of his own, we could let him take over, bring Clarence back here, I'm sure Marsh would approve." "Maybe on the surface it's a good idea, but I know the reserve as well as anyone." "There just aren't any unattached males roaming the bush." "They're all spoken for." "Why else do you think those 3 girls settled for old Clarence?" "Hedley, 1 might've wandered in during the past few days." "Suppose Jack and I take a look?" "I'll go with you." "All right." "You push off on your wild lion chase." "I've got a great deal of district office paperwork to catch up on." "So good luck and keep in touch." "Will do." " Oh, hey, Hedley, do me a favor, huh?" " Of course." "Uh, check with Marsh, see if he's run across a lonely lion lately?" "(CHUCKLES) Oh, all right." "Hey, Judy, just a minute, where do you think you're going?" "Now, Judy, listen, you stay here with me." "They're searching for a lion that's hungry for love, not chimps." "You know, I wonder, Judy, I just wonder, if old Clarence isn't ready to come home." "Maybe 3 lady lions growling at him all day is too much for the old boy." "What do you think?" "Well, anyway, would you get me the walkie-talkie?" "I wonder." "I wonder." "Ah, thank you, Judy." "Hedley calling Marsh Tracy." "Hedley calling Marsh Tracy." "Do you read me?" "Wameru sending to Marsh Tracy." "Marsh, this is Hedley, do you read me?" "Yes, Hedley, I read you." "What's up?" "You haven't seen any lonely lions, have you?" "Lonely lions?" "No, why?" "Your staff are out hunting the bush for a substitute groom." "A substitute what?" "A stand-in for Clarence, or rather, a love-in." "Oh, boy." "Look at that beautiful lonesome animal." "(LOW GROWLING)" "Folks, I think we have found our Casanova." "Uh, Jack, don't look now, but Mr. Casanova is joining Mrs. Casanova." "Mm-hm, with all the little Casanovas." "Well, I guess Hedley was right." "That's the 10th happy pride we've found." "I guess we'll go back to the compound and forget about Clarence and the experiment." "Come on, let's go." "(TRUMPETING)" "(GROWLING)" "Now." "(SIGHS)" "Well, just to be on the safe side..." "Oh, well." "Ha!" "there we are." "Run along little fellow and try and not get yourself scratched up again." "Ah." "By the way, did that aspirin I gave you help your headache at all?" "It helped." "It helped." "Oh, good." "Good." "Now I have a stomach ache." "Now I have a stomach ache." "What?" "Ah, well." " What is it, Judy?" " (GRUNTING)" "Oh, don't tell me you're ill now." "Well, what is it then?" "Oh, Judy, that's a splendid idea." "Putting Sultan in Clarence's old spot." "He really does something for the lawn." "No bachelor lions, Jack?" "Oh, I'm afraid not, Hedley." "Nothing but old married men." "Uh-huh." "You'd think there'd at least be one unattached male in the bush." "Looks as if Mother Nature's been a busy matchmaker this time of year." "Anything new, Hedley?" "Take a look." "Oh, Hedley, he looks magnificent." "Was it your idea to put him there?" "No, it was Judy." "She thought it out by herself, mostly for you, I think." "Ah, thank you, Judy, it was very thoughtful of you." "You know, he looks very handsome in Clarence's old spot." "If we could only substitute him for Clarence in the experiment" "Jack would have it made." "Well, maybe Judy can figure out how to cross Sultan's eyes." "Oh, Jack, don't suggest it." "She'll probably work something out." "(CHUCKLES) Well, Doctor Hedley, let's see what you've accomplished here." "Mm." "(CALLING)" "Oh, Sultan, you look absolutely magnificent here." "Boy, if Clarence saw you now he'd be so jealous he'd come right back home." "Hold it, you 3." "I want to record this moment for history." "Got it." "[PAULA IN FLASHBACK]:" "Sultan, you're absolutely magnificent here." "Boy, if Clarence saw you now he'd be so jealous he'd come right home." "(GRUNTING)" "(TIGER SNORING)" "(LOW GROWL)" "(PAULA):" "If Clarence saw you now he'd be so jealous he'd come back home." "(GRUNTING)" "(CLARENCE ROARING)" "(LOW GROWL)" "(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)" "Clarence." "Hey, Paula, everybody, come on out quick!" "Hey, Clarence, old buddy, you came back home after all, didn't you?" "Huh?" "Ah, you don't know how glad I am to see you." "What happened?" "You couldn't take all those nagging women, could you, huh?" "Or do you just kinda miss your old buddies here at Wameru?" "Clarence!" "Oh, welcome home." "We gotta feed our star boarder." "With your permission, of course." " Oh, be my guest." "Believe me." " Oh, thank you." "Clarence, old colleague, as soon as you have a great big breakfast we're gonna get cracking on those experiments again." "Yeah, we're gonna show the scientific world a thing or 2, aren't we, huh?" "Yeah." "Well, well, the return of the prodigal." "Good old Clarence." "What brought you back?" "Well, I have a feeling he got lonesome for his friendly neighborhood animal psychologist." "Right?" "Yeah." "My guess is he needed a little coaxing." "Judy?" "Judy, come here." "Judy." "Judy, now look, Judy, tell me." "Did Clarence come back on his own?" "(GRUNTING)" "Looks like Judy did it again." "Well, I don't care who did it." "I'm just glad to see Clarence back in this spot instead of Sultan." "Where is Sultan?" "Hey, we better have a look around the compound." "Yeah, before we do, just let's ask our traffic director." "Judy, is... is Sultan still here?" "(GRUNTING)" "Well, where did he go, then?" "They're Sultan's tracks all right." "Uh-oh, they're headed into the bush." "Well, that wouldn't worry you, would it?" "I mean, won't his instincts and his muscles protect him?" "After all, he does weigh 400 pounds." "Well, if he'd spent his whole life in the jungles of India he'd be fine, Hedley, but Sultan was brought up here on the compound since he was a cub." "He thinks all predatory animals are his friends." "His scent won't prevent any attacks." "It'll probably provoke them." "Yeah, we better take the truck and have a look." "I better get my equipment." "Come on, Judy, you come with me." "Poor Sultan, he'll never last out there." "He's got fangs and claws." "But he's been trained not to use them." "Wouldn't stand a chance against a rampaging elephant or a pride of lions." "And what about Cleo and Juliet and Josephine?" "(JACK):" "Well, what about 'em?" "They must be in a perfect rage now that Clarence has walked out on 'em." "Yeah, that's for sure." "They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and this is not only 3 women but lionesses to boot." "I wouldn't like to cross their paths today." "What if poor Sultan should wander near them." "Head for their territory." "See if we can get to Sultan before they do." "(LIONS ROARING)" "Listen!" "They must've gotten Sultan." "Look at that." "Would you look at that?" "(MIKE):" "He's really living up to his name." "I just can't believe it." "Sultan's finally found himself a harem." "A harem?" " Hedley, that's a "harem."" " That's right, a harem." "(GROWLING)" "But, uh, isn't he in danger though, Mike?" "Only from too much food, love and protection." "But lionesses accepting a tiger." "I can see it but I can't believe it." "Mike, why aren't they tearing him to pieces?" "When we get back to the compound I'll show you why." "Paula?" "Hedley?" "I'm all set." "Uh, Hedley, this film was shot a few years ago." "It should show you why a tiger can live with lions." "I see." "Now, the little fellow in stripes is Sultan." "The other little pesky creatures are none other than Cleo," "Juliet and Josephine." "Oh, they're darling." "But why do they have to grow up?" "Ah, that's the question your father and I keep asking about you, my dear." "Experiment was resumed at 11:30 a.m." "The subject animal, namely Clarence, having been fed, was placed in the scientific environment." "(SNORING)" "Oh, Clarence, please, please, please, wake up." "Judy, get him on his feet, will you?" "(SNORING CONTINUES)" "(ROARING)" "(HOWLING)" "(JACK):" "Ok, Clarence, please, concentrate on the zebra." "Come on, zebra, down the field." "That does it." "I..." "I give up." "I've had it." "I've taken as much as I can from that big clown." "Look, let's face it, Clarence is never gonna make a research animal and that is something we are all gonna have to accept." "How are we gonna get the scientific world to accept you as a serious researcher?" "I don't know, that's the problem." "By submitting your report on another experiment" " that was going on this morning." " You mean Sultan and the harem?" "(HEDLEY):" "Of course." "Surely, Jack, that's even more exciting and colorful than a cross-eyed lion and some cardboard zebras." "Well, they couldn't be any less cooperative than Clarence and scientifically, it might prove very valuable." "You know, Jack, Clarence is not the only one that's tired of this experiment." "Poor Judy and Toto have had enough of that awful cardboard zebra." "Ah, yeah, well, I have to admit that that particular visual aid is one that science could get along without." "Maybe not." "Take a look." "(CHIMPS GRUNTING)" "(ALL LAUGH)" "(ROARING)" "♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYS) ♪" "(English" " SDH)"