""Comment j'ai tué mon père"" "I feel washed out at dinner parties." "I could easily doze off." "I work for a big American firm." "I can tell that I've lost my fighting spirit." "HOW I KILLED MY FATHER" "I'm worn out." "Your employers sense it too and it shakes your confidence." "Younger men are fighting for your place..." " How are your nights?" " Bad." "I sleep poorly." "And then there's all the rest..." "Sexually, I mean..." "It's not my wife, it's life in general." "I have a son..." "He's two now." "I've worked out that when he turns twenty," "I'll be an old man." "In other words, I'll have no hold over him, no prestige in his eyes." "And so I'm unable to show him any affection." "I look on him... as a stranger." "Almost... as a threat." "That's one aspect of fatherhood." "I'll examine you now but I must explain that the key to your "profile", as we call it, are the lab tests." "They're costly but thorough." "They'll show your body's oxidation rate... the rate you're rusting at, if you like, and ageing." "This is a classic crisis." "We all go through it." "We don't all age equally." "Ready?" "Got the champagne?" "Don't worry, we've got twelve crates." "Isa!" "dear sir," "I regret to inform you ofyouR father's passing." "he died a month ago, unexpectedly, and so could not return to france as he'd intended..." "Good evening." " Wonderful party..." " Yes." "Is our host around?" "I haven't seen him yet." "Doctors are always late..." "His wife's here." "Where?" "That blonde woman." "The elegant one." "Patrick..." " Is there enough?" " Eight more crates." "My friends..." "May I have your attention, please?" "I'd just like to say that I'm particularly happy to be awarding our town's order of merit, one of our oldest and most cherished traditions, to a man who has distinguished himself as a doctor of talent and innovation." "I won't introduce Jean-Luc Borde since this is his home..." "Thank you." "Thank you all." "I'm very touched." "I wanted to say that when I moved here, ten years ago now," "I was warned that Versailles was a cold, bourgeois place that would reject any newcomers." "That's what they said." "I looked around and saw otherwise." "I was like an orphan and you adopted me." "If you now feel that I've accomplished something, that's because one must love a place to succeed there." "And with your encouragement, I shall try to press on and move forward in my field." "But not to make us a pack of breezy centenarians." "After all, we know life is a burden..." "Thank you." "Thank you all." "And especially lsa, our hostess." " How are you?" " Very well." " Congratulations." " Thanks." "Yes, it's me..." "I simply followed the flow of people when I arrived." " When did you get here?" " This afternoon." "I should have warned you but I decided to chance it." "The man of the moment..." "Feted in your own home?" "It's the usual thing here." "I spoke to a few people..." "They seem relaxed, not at all mannered." "A little like you were just saying." "A very good speech." "It hit all the right notes." "If this is too much for you, tell me." "No, I don't think so." "I'll make myself scarce." "So soon?" "You're such a rarity." "I thought you were dead." "Isa, this is..." "Maurice." "Are you Jean-Luc's father?" "What's more, it shows!" "He doesn't look like he ever won the jackpot." "No one makes suits like that now." "What's that cloth?" "Terylene..." "Right, I'm going." "When d'you need the car tomorrow?" "At nine." "You do the glasses, I'll see to the bottles." "Sorry, he refuses to come." " I'll ask him." " No, you mustn't." "Isa tells me your brother works for you." "For long?" "No, he had trouble at work, so..." "Your father could stay here." "In the attic room." "No, I don't want to impose." "Do you think it's a good idea?" "Yes, of course..." "What about your things?" "A small bag at the station." "Patrick can pick it up." " He can do that." " I'll go." "I can't say that I know a great deal about you." "He spared you the details." "Thank you." " You have many paintings." " You don't like them?" "I can't judge." "My awareness of art ends with Whistler's Mother." "You must be retired now." "Not quite, actually..." "What did you do there?" "I had a medical lab, with a pool of African doctors." "It did very well." "I felt I was doing useful work because the country had nothing like it." "But there was a series of violent political events..." "That upset things a little." "Perhaps you heard?" "I haven't really followed." "It must all seem so far away here." "Third world poverty, bamboo huts..." "You realize they kicked him out." " He didn't say that." " Of course not." " He's an old man now." " He's sharp." " He's funny." " Funny?" "Original." "Yes, I suppose he must be." "These pills confuse me." "Only the blue one is new." "It's to relax you." "Take one and a half before bed." "You slept better last night." "I woke up once but I read." "Why do you think he's here?" "I don't know..." "To piss me off." "He wants to make up with you." "I don't buy that." "Why not?" "There are times in life when you have to." "Only if you're a father." "Are you angry with him?" "No..." "Not that I'm aware of." "Or I've forgotten." "Last time I saw him, I was a student in Tours." "He breezed through to say he was happy I'd chosen medicine." "Then nothing more..." "The dark continent." "Perfectly well." "Yes." "Yes, my bag is here." "Thank you for your welcome." "We met last night." "That's right." "You have an appointment with Dr Borde?" "No, not at all." "I'm his father." "He is expecting you?" " He's very busy..." " I can imagine." "I wanted to see where he works." "Follow me, then." "How many rooms are there?" "Ten." "It's a five-star hotel!" "All this greenery..." "Have you been with Jean-Luc long?" "Almost three years." "So he trained you, in a way..." "Physiotherapy..." "The ladies are there now." "I couldn't harm them." "Where are you from?" " Lebanon?" " No." "Syria?" "I studied here but was born in Damascus." "I know it, a wonderful place." "I was a conscript there during the French mandate." "Yes, we gave you a hard time too." "Do you plan to stay here?" "I'd like to go back one day..." "Yes, it's hard being between two worlds." "Your serotonin rate is still low." "I'll alter the treatment but the results are good." "Do you feel better?" "Yes." "I still have a few circulation problems." " You still swim?" " Three times a week at the Ritz." "Good." "You mentioned botox injections." "Yes..." "We'll start with the forehead." "We can work on the frown lines and prevent the muscular spasms." "Three or four sessions should do the job." " You're here?" " I didn't want to bother you." "I've seen it all." "It's magnificent." "Can you see to Mrs Ziegler?" "I'll go right away." "You do the tests here?" "She said you keep a stock of growth hormones." "Forgive my ignorance but what do you do?" "Inject them?" "I don't see any other way." "And that slows our inevitable decline..." "Precisely." "Do you want to try?" "No, I don't want to delay the call." "That's good, you have no anxiety or regrets..." "This may surprise you but I no longer think of death." "In short, you cover the whole field." " Do you run it all alone?" " No, I have partners." "It's doing well, almost too well." "Is the waiting-list long?" "Fairly, yes." "Well, it isn't an emergency service." "Sure you won't have one?" "You're an ascetic." "I'm impressed by your success." "Really?" "It's not your style of medicine." "True, it's aimed at one level of society..." "The rich need care." "They're human beings too." "Is that cynical enough?" "We don't work miracles." " You're in great shape." " So-so." "The engine's faltering." "The usual things..." "Basically, you're at a loose end." "You're drifting." "In a way." "I spent a few days in eastern France." "I have a place there, going to ruin." "I don't remember." "Everyone there is dead or almost." "I soon left again." "I was born there but felt nothing." " I don't believe in roots." " You make your own." "It's wherever you end up feeling comfortable." "If you were happy in Africa..." "Why am I here?" "You said things had been a little hairy lately." "I spent a week in jail with nothing but cornmeal to eat." "Not much fun." "Charged with what?" "I didn't kill," "I didn't steal." "As you may know, when those countries blow up, the army moves in, clans change and, even at my level, anything to do with the former regime is swept aside." "They seize your property and money." "You're reduced to nothing, stark naked..." "That's life." "How old are you now?" "40?" "41?" "40." "Yes... in a few days." "You have a charming wife." "Very well-bred." "The best side of the bourgeoisie, as I imagine it." "That's an unknown land for me." "But no children?" "You don't want any?" "Did she say that?" "No, good Lord, we've barely met." "I set you a bad example." " I'll walk back." " We can give you a lift." "No, don't upset your brother." "I'll walk, it's mild." "Good night." "Still not curious about your begetter?" "He's like a plainclothes priest." "In any case, I'm not a lot like him." " Had a nice little dinner?" " Interesting." " You talked?" " He did, mainly." " Is he after money?" " No." "Does he feel any remorse?" "Not his style..." "He won't dandle me on his knee now." "But you knew him." "A little..." " The way he treated mum..." " She was no angel." "You're right there..." "Let me say this, Solange..." "First off, I think you're a great girl." "I mean it!" "Everyone says you're too good for me." "The thing is..." "I don't know how to tell you this..." "I don't want to hurt you..." "But..." "What?" "Hold on..." "You've met someone?" "You're kidding, right?" "Who?" "The guy from the Sofitel?" "The valet parker?" "Where?" "Senegal?" "The old Tarzan spiel." "At Club Med?" "And you fell for it?" "It's a trap." "You're by the pool, bored as hell." "Some jerk brings you a drink..." "How long has this been going on?" "Six months?" "What was I going to say?" "Nothing, babe." "That I love you, that everything's cool..." "Hold on, we can talk." "Solange, give me five minutes!" "Give me one more chance." "Okay, then, get lost!" "Piss off!" "Bitch!" "Max, can I have my bottle?" "Look who's here." "My brother, the doctor." "Evening, doctor." "Well, what did you think?" "It's not bad..." " Did you write it?" " Yes, all on my own." " Did you laugh?" " Yes." "When did you laugh?" "I can't remember exactly but..." "There's a "but"." "Tell me." "I need input, I'm still working on it." "It seems pretty good to me." "The humour is..." "But it went down well." "You never give anything away..." " I like your hair." " Yeah?" "Laetitia, Jean-Luc, my brother..." " Want a drink?" " Malibu." "Max, give us a Malibu." "She's not bad." "I can set you up." "I have to be going." "God, you're so uptight!" "I don't believe it..." "Don't piss me off." "I came here for your sake." " What time is it?" " Two." "I'd given up waiting for you." "I have a pain in my chest." "Want something to drink?" "Here, have some water." "Hello, Maria." "Come in." "Everything okay?" "I'm like a pig in clover." "The coffee's delicious." "Don't worry, I'm not going to move in for good." "Stay a day or two." " Are you off to work?" " I'm late..." " Did you sleep here?" " Yes." "Here, I've brought you a tie." "Very smart..." "I'm too scruffy for you?" "No, but if you go out..." "I know you haven't mentioned anything but I assume you're hard up." "It's none of my business how you ended up like this..." "You have a pension?" "You didn't contribute?" "I was careless." "You're broke?" "So, you expect me to..." "What?" "Help you out." "After all, why not?" "I can give you a decent monthly allowance." "I don't feel obliged, not at all, but it seems natural since I can afford it." "There, I've said it." "Think about it." "I heard you." "Thank you." "Why didn't you speak to Dufour?" " He disgusts me." " He's a lawyer." "So let him plead..." "Can't you see them for lunch?" " You drank too much." " Two glasses." "I was bored." " I bet I won't sleep..." " You've already decided..." "I'm sorry." "Men find you so attractive..." "That Swiss guy was staring at you." "Which one?" "The young, good-looking one with the longish hair." "Yes, perhaps..." "Funny, some guys have sex written all over their faces." "I wasn't bored." "Good." "You talked a lot." "That's true, I tried to keep it lively." "Is that him?" "At this time of night?" "Surely he wasn't with a hooker?" "I think that if I'd met him by chance" "I'd have fallen for his charm." "There, you see." "But have you seen his eyes?" "When he's silent, they're pure ice." "He judges you calmly, down to the bone." "Isa..." "Are you ill?" "No, but I'm very hot..." "It's stifling here." "I'll get up now." "Have you taken something?" "A drop of scotch..." "I mixed it with a sleeping pill." " What pill?" " I don't know." "A green one, a capsule." "That feels good." "Thank you." "Your pyjamas are funny." "Should I call Jean-Luc?" "No, he'd be furious." "I'll stay here a little longer." "Does this happen often?" "Often, no..." "Don't mix things..." "you don't know where it may lead." "Yes, doctor." " Do you feel better?" " Yes." "Take my hand." "Your hand is cool." "for a fling with you, there's nothing I wouldn't do" "for a fling with you" "I promise I won't be late ifyou fix me a date" "for a fling with you" "for a quick spin" "As dawn peeks in, before the night has fled" "for a quick spin" "As dawn peeks in, nestled in your bed" "I'd give it all away, never mind what people say for a fling with you" "I could damn myselflike this, for a single stolen kiss..." "You've missed so many of his birthdays." "I'm making up for lost time." "This was Patrick's idea." "I've never seen Jean-Luc like this." "Are you listening?" "See that guy..." "The old guy on his own, by the toilet door..." "That's my father." "What's he doing here?" "I didn't invite him." " How old were you when he left?" " Search me." "Four." " I think he's pretty classy." " Yeah..." "He looks better with that tie." "You're acting as if I'm making demands." "You're not but I'm tied up until September." "I may be gone by then." "What do you mean?" "Great song." "I didn't know it." "You and your brother get on well." "Why wouldn't we?" "I'm glad you can let yourself go occasionally." "Yes, it happens every ten years or so." "I'm not an adventurer like you." "My father's the last colonial doctor." "Want a drink?" "Yes, vodka." " I butted in." " Not at all." "It's amusing to see you together." "We don't know how to talk." "We advance, retreat, avoid each other..." "Oh yes, we talk about money." "We're both clumsy." "Don't take it badly but I'm stunned by your success." "As a child, he was a bundle of nerves, a bit dyslexic..." " He had long bouts of inertia..." " What a memory!" "And have these fits of rage." "Our parents see us as kids." "That's their problem." "Everyone changes." "You're above all human emotions now." "But I remember a man who stood up at dinner and said" ""l'm going to blow my brains out."" "That's true." "It did happen once." "Okay?" "You're new." "D'you live around here?" "No." "Coming with me?" "Strange, all these pictures..." "You like them?" "I did them." " Where did you learn?" " At my gran's." "She had a little perfume shop." "I used to help her out." "I'd see the women's faces and felt like drawing them." "I picked up a pencil to pass the time." "People liked them so I kept it up." "Colours are important for me, see." "Reds, ochres, blues..." "Blue, a little like your eyes." "I want to kiss you." "I need to stop at that shop." "I'll only be five minutes." "You wonder why we're here." "A little." "She insisted." "You get on well." "Yes, she's very kind to me." "She has her good side." "Poor little rich girl..." "I can't justify myself to you." "There are things you don't know and that I won't explain." "We don't know each other." "What did you do before?" "Nothing much use." "That's why I'm here." "I've done a bit of acting." "You have the looks..." "I worked on markets, flogging US army surplus." " That sells well." " Sort of." "I got screwed but it was my fault." "So Jean-Luc took you on..." "It's not killing me." "It's cushy." "I come and go, I park..." "I wait..." "Is your brother kind to you?" "He's kind, yes..." "He's made a big success of his life but..." "It hasn't made him human." "It'd be wrong to criticise him." "I was a Catholic as a child, a scout, very pious..." "I wept on the day of my first communion." "From 20 to 24, I was a Communist, at the end of the war." "Then I seemed to lose every form of ideal in my life..." "But I'm not saying I have no beliefs." "Hello, lsa." "Hello, Cyril." "My father-in-law." "Maurice Borde..." "We'll be in touch." "You look great." "He has very impressive hair." "Almost leonine." "Is he one of your suitors?" "No, he's sweet but a bit of an idiot." "I have no suitors." " Never?" " No." "Well, just once, but I ran a mile..." "I suppose I'm the faithful type." "If the feeling's shared..." "I don't know and I don't want to know." "That girl you saw, his assistant..." "there was something." "Something very banal but I'm sure it's over." "We know each other by heart." "I know what he's about to say." "He's so different from the people I knew." "And intelligent too." "That's true." "I know I've been lucky." "He certainly has been." "Even if I'm sorry we have no children." "It's a choice..." "No, I really wanted children." "More than anything." "I think Jean-Luc feels the same but it's dangerous for me, so..." "Were you advised not to?" "Jean-Luc's been my only doctor for years." "Sometimes, a second opinion can help." "I feel so jealous at times, in the street, in parks, when I see all those blissfully pregnant women or others with strollers..." "I don't like feeling that way." "Myriem..." "You're not there?" "You must be out with your son." "It's Sunday." "I'm upstairs." "I have to go andjoin the others." "My paRents-in-law are an ad for sixty-yeaR-olds." "They'Re not my patients, maybe that's why." "My brother with his current "partner"." "he's doing some great dives into the pool." "And my father..." "Yes, he's still in occupation." "he's stuck here like glue." "he's smiling and Relaxed, chatting to my wife and brother." "It looks so idyllic." "It's all a pathetic sham." " Okay?" " Fine." " You're not swimming?" " No." "I don't like my body." "You're pretty slim." "You were chubby as a child." "I was downright fat." "You wouldn't do any sports." "Patrick!" "Let me take a photo of you three." "It's more peaceful here." "Playing happy families soon tires me." "You agree it's meaningless." "Are you being evasive or do you think I'm a fool?" "Don't you have the perfect reply?" "I'm listening." "You haven't responded to my offer." "I thought you'd given me a few days." "Perhaps you felt insulted." "I'm sorry." "What does a stranger expect?" "I thought you didn't want to talk about it." "It suits you to think that." "Probably." "But, deep down, it is interesting." "How do you cancel it all out in one go?" "You become someone else." "That's ambitious." "I thought my life was mapped out, in a long, straight line." "Times were different then." "Then it all came to a halt overnight." "I'd finished with the day's patients." "It was a Thursday." "I went into St Antoine's Church." "The organist was playing." "The one you liked." "Remember him?" "Vaguely." "His daughter wore braces." "I went to a bar, I had a drink..." "An aperitif..." "And I stayed there for at least an hour." "I felt incapable of going home." "The last train to Paris was leaving and I took it." "I went to a small hotel near Denfert-Rochereau." "There was a travel agency nearby with catalogues to go anywhere..." "Asia, Africa..." "New countries waiting to be developed." "I could have gone anywhere." "I couldn't resist." "I had to leave." "It was a matter of survival." "What was so unbearable?" "Not other people." "It wasn't your mother." "She was beyond reproach." "But I was a changed man." "I no longer recognized myself." "You mean no one was stopping you." "Oh, I thought about returning." "But the idea of standing before you..." "I'd never have found the words." "I was caught up in another system." "There's no changing it now." "Does it work?" "Do you end up forgetting?" "The trouble is, you do." "On the highest branch," "A nightingale sings" "Sing, nightingale, sing" "You whose heart is so light..." "I have loved you for so long" "I'll never forget you." "His father came through with a present." "About time..." "Wait, there's some wine." "I love the way you said, "There's some wine."" "Really?" "As if nothing else existed." "That must be where the truth lies." "I've heard about an apartment we could visit." "If you like." "What have you done with your father?" "I don't follow his every move." "He's had a depressing life." "He's touched you." "He's a case." "He's like you, I suppose." "Make the most of it while he's here." "You'll regret it when it's too late." "I think my strongest memory with dad..." "It's odd saying "dad"..." "I feel like I'm speaking Russian." "If I said "popov", it would mean as much to me." "I think my strongest memory with "popov"" "was the day he forgot me at the supermarket checkout." "I spent the afternoon with Teddy." "Teddy had been forgotten too." "When his mum fetched him, she kept saying, "Naughty mummy."" "And Teddy just kept wagging his tail and licking her face." "Dad didn't fetch me." "No." "He had a business meeting that lasted ten years." "It was on the 200th floor." "The lift broke down," "Dad was trapped up there in the clouds." "He could only pee or call my brother who kept me posted." "My brother has a direct link to dad, see." "Since he was born, they've had at least three weeks together." "A lifetime compared to my twelve hours..." "Well, twelve... counting the six spent waiting at the supermarket, of course!" " Drink?" " No thanks." "I've finished." "They thought I was a customer." "I must look the part." " Do you come here often?" " Yes." "You're beautiful like that, without make-up." "I don't know what time it is." "We can walk a little longer." "You're expected at home..." "I don't think so." "I want to stay with you." "You have nothing to say?" "It's very cruel of you." "You're together?" "Where were you?" "At your thing?" " Yes." " Until this late?" "The meeting ran on and on." "I'm going up." "Good-night, Maurice." "There was a call for you." "From Africa." "Jean-Toussaint something..." "Ah, yes..." "I'll call him back." "Who is he?" "A friend, a doctor." "A remarkable fellow." "What's wrong?" "Nothing." "You seem remote." "Why tonight, not yesterday or tomorrow or in three weeks?" "What do you mean?" "We don't have to do it for the sake of it." "What's got into you?" "It's what I feel." "I'm not angry." "I'd rather you were." "You think so?" "You're miles away." "No, I promise I'm not." "If you know better, tell me." "I don't know anything." "I'm trying to understand." "Perhaps you're hiding things." "What would I be hiding?" "We had it because you decided." "It seemed unreal to me." "Don't make a fuss about it." "What are you up to with him?" "I enjoy talking with him." "About what?" "What can he tell you?" "That he won a Nobel Prize?" "That's a stupid thing to say." "Are you flirting with him?" "You turn him on?" " You're not choosy." " You're insane." "Can't you sleep?" "You can't either." "I want a glass of water." "I have some here." "Did you have women out in the bush?" "I wasn't a monk." "Professionals mainly." "Right." "Whores are handy." "No strings attached." "As you say." "Never more than that?" "My head may have spun occasionally but the union of two bodies, the fiery ecstasy of love..." "I've never known it." "Put my mind at ease..." "It's not hereditary, is it?" "No, who said it was?" " No one." " Look at Patrick..." "You can tell he's hot-blooded..." "But it's no crime to be of a more placid disposition." "It's just a small part of ourselves." "An appendage." "We're not even sure it belongs to us." " I'm exaggerating." " No, it's true." "The truth is, 90% of the time, we fuck alone." "Your view's darker than mine." "Maybe..." "But you're past all that now." "Old age must be a relief." "Once, I remember, he turned up dressed all in blue." "And I politely led him to the electricity meter." "Later, I learned to read the signs, of course." "My brother helped me." ""A man in a cap is the postman, a fat man's the neighbour," ""if he's selling calendars, slam the door on his fingers."" "My brother's got flair." "Always one step ahead." "At three, he was top of the class, at five he was dissecting frogs..." "What marked me most of all was that at the meter, dad smiled at me." "I felt comfortable and I said," ""Mum told me where the gas meter is but I forget now."" "Looking back," "I think that's the longest sentence I ever said to him." "Come in." "He threw a fit last night." "We got back too late." "So?" "What is he thinking of?" "You told him it was nonsense?" "I've thought about what you said." "I'm looking for my test results." "Would you check them?" "If you like." " I wondered if you were up." " That colour suits you." "Thank you." "Don't let me disturb you." "Come in, we've nothing to hide." "I've been on this treatment a year." "I expected better results." "With your background, the results are good for a man of your age." "You told me to walk." "Well, it exhausts me." "You expect to gambol like a lamb?" "You can't dance the night away." "What's wrong with you?" "How many to go?" "Four more appointments." "All this could end overnight." "Just a minute." "Can you undress?" "Don't gawp at me." "I only asked you to undress." "I'd like to see you naked." "You have a beautiful body." "Solange..." "Give me five minutes." "Okay, go ahead, get lost!" "Piss off!" "Bitch!" "There you are..." "I was telling Laetitia I enjoyed it." "Really?" "I'm not too useless?" "It's lively, it's funny..." "It's full of truth." "It doesn't seem your style." "Why?" "Because you seem a bit..." "a bit old-fashioned." "You see the type of career I could have had." "Care for a drink?" "Can you get us two glasses of champagne, honey?" "She seems very fond of you." "I'm about to screw up..." "She wants to pull out all the stops, white wedding, the works..." "Bravo." "She has a friend setting up a video business down south." "I'm thinking about it." "I don't know if I can do that to Jean-Luc." "Does he need you?" "He's a crap driver." "He has his wife, his chauffeur, his handmaiden..." "Everyone has a part to play." "Hats off to him." "His pills and hormones are a gold-mine." "You're pretty scathing..." "You know, the years soon pass." "Don't get bogged down in messy situations." "If you have a real opportunity, don't hesitate." "Take it." "This is Jean-Toussaint Diallo." "I took the liberty of inviting him round." "He's spending a few days in Paris." "He's here to contact relief organizations." "It won't be easy." "We're not always welcome." "They tend to be generous." "It's fashionable, fortunately." " Did you meet there?" " I've known him since he was 16!" "Your father was my mentor." "He changed my life." "He persuaded my parents to let me study." "He encouraged me, he was always there." " Where did you study?" " Montpellier and Czechoslovakia." "I know you're a doctor but what's your field?" "Gerontology." "An ugly word but Europe is old." "We miss Maurice." "He's very popular, everyone knows him." "I hope he'll come back soon." "You knew he was coming?" "He had mentioned it." "He said things are much quieter there now." "That's good." "People are even going back." "You mean you want to?" "I didn't expect to but it's possible." "I'd get the lab back, with a new team." "They just need you?" "No, of course not..." "We'll have to get things running again." " Just as you left it?" " Not quite." "No strings attached?" "A few debts to settle." "How much?" "I can't say exactly." "At the most... 500,000 francs." "That's quite a sum..." "That's for sure." "Hi." " Give us five minutes." " What time's your..." "Please!" "It would be a loan, all signed and official..." "I can draw up a repayment schedule." " Three years at the most." " You're joking." "I couldn't possibly accept otherwise." "What's the link with Diallo?" "He turns up just after you..." "There's no link." "He has nothing to gain." "He's just an intermediary." "You were undesirable but you can go back if you pay!" "You..." "I mean, if I pay!" "What's to say they won't rob you and throw you back in jail?" "You're mistaken." "I have guarantees." "Diallo is..." "I know, a "remarkable fellow"." "He loves you like a son." "How touching." "But I don't see why I should trust him!" "Why?" "Because he's African?" "Please, don't give me that..." "Sorry..." "I was being absurd." "It's not the money." "I could get it for you." "But why go back to those warlords, civil wars and the heat?" "You want to fall ill so I can fetch you?" "You can't start anew at 75." "It's irresponsible and immoral!" "You follow nature's cycles." "You step down, you tend to your roses!" "I don't have any roses." "Fleeing's a mania with you." "What do you want to do?" "Take the last train?" "Go back into exile like an eccentric?" "With that same clean conscience?" "Who'll fall for that?" "It's chronic abandonment." "Can't anyone rely on you?" "Such as who?" "Nobody needs me here." "All right then... if you feel as free as a bird..." "But I won't help you like this." "I won't drag you down deeper." "True, we don't know each other." "I've seen you for... two minutes in the car... fifteen at the cabaret... a bit longer at the pool." "But at the pool... the others were there too." "I wasn't alone." "What more can I tell you?" "I've done things all these years..." "I've drunk..." "I've eaten..." "I've slept..." "Inevitably, I've slept." "Maybe I've only slept?" "Can we go?" " It ran on and on." " No sweat." "Had a wild old time?" "Shit..." " What now?" " What d'you suggest?" "Didn't you see him?" "He was in the middle of the road!" "Try driving slower..." "Nice work." "So change it!" "At 55,000 miles, it's junk." " You've been drinking." " Yes, I have!" "Look, we're all okay..." " I thought you could drive!" " No, I can't even do that!" "You want to fire me?" "Go ahead." "Do me a favour!" " We'll talk when you sober up." " Fuck!" "I wait for hours at your fucking fundraiser!" " Calm down." " It's your job." "Don't." "I'd belt you but you can't fight back." "It had to end like this." "He'll forget by tomorrow." "A Renault Dauphine." "We had one when I was little." "What do you think?" "It's big, it's nice and quiet..." "Why do you want me to live here?" "It's better for you and your son." "I'm fine where I am." "I won't have you keeping me." "I was mistaken." "You won't change, Jean-Luc." "It's our last day then?" "Are you sure?" "Where will you go?" "I'll land up somewhere." "I'll let you know." "I looked carefully at your test results." "It's not my speciality." "As I said before, you should get a second opinion." "But, quite frankly," "I see nothing to stop you from having a child." "I don't understand." "Mistakes can happen." "How could he be that wrong?" " Fear..." " Fear of what?" "I won't sing the praises of fatherhood." "But there are many ways of avoiding it." "That's a horrible thing to say!" "What's all this?" "Hot air?" "A hoax that you flog?" "You have to be a pretty bad doctor." "A charlatan." " Who did you see?" " A specialist." "That's all?" "Nothing to say?" "I say you're useless and you don't react?" "We did try." "I stopped us from going further." " I don't understand." " It was to protect us." "What do you mean?" "Deep down, I couldn't..." "It was like a threat..." "Explain." "I think it scared me, physically." "Looking after a child, raising it..." "Worrying, punishing..." "I'm not suited for that." " You should have said." " You'd have left." "You don't know!" "Well, I thought so." "Because I need you." "That's cheap talk!" "How else can I say it?" "You call that love?" "What you've done is worse than lying." "You've robbed me." "Mutilated me!" "Don't touch me!" "You shrivelled, little man!" "Your words are empty and hollow." "What are we?" "Business partners?" "A sort of showcase?" "There I was, a dumb bitch, greeting, opening doors, smiling, arranging flowers..." "All that's nothing." "It's empty!" "To hell with it." "Have you eaten?" "Did you raise your funds?" "I have a few promises." "That's good." "I was just going." "I'll see you out." "You're still hanging around?" "I was waiting for you." "I have to pay you to get rid of you?" "Run, run, go after him!" "So, you have some scruples?" "Idiot." "Off to pack your knapsack and sneak away?" "You can't fuck her so you get your kicks another way?" " She'll be back." " She said so?" "You're all she has." "Why do this to me?" " I wasn't thinking of you." " You never have." "Why would I?" "Because it's natural?" "I'm not obliged to love you." "It's hell being your son." "You've ruined everything since you conceived me... with your ice-cold cum." "How can you look at yourself?" "Aren't you ashamed you're not dead?" "How dare you, you prick!" "Jean-Luc..." "Open the door..." "Open it..." "Please..." "Please, let me in." "Listen to me..." "My whole life has slipped away... without me grasping anything." "I haven't touched things." "I've learned nothing." "I don't want you to end up like me." "Forget me." "I didn't make you, you made yourself." "And you'll carry on doing it." "That's all you need to know." "It's up to you." "Let me in." "Don't turn me away." "Open the door." "Don't leave me in this hole." "What can I possibly say?" "What's between us will always be there." "Alive or dead." "Is that why you came?" "Who knows why we do things?" "You look like you did when we went to Spain in the Dauphine..." "You'd lost your wallet, with all your documents, all your money..." "We were at the roadside... and you kept saying," ""We're done for..." "We're done for..."" "I was there... and I didn't know what to do." "English subtitles:" "Ian Burley"