"Thousands of bells bring us, through the centuries,  the humanistic pealing of the arts of the Renaissance." "From Italy, land of sublime musicians,  we shall hear:" ""La Campana Suonerá"." "lo sono un seduttore incorreggibile per femmine e ragazze irresistibile e quando la campana suona dolce, dando le ore è comprensibile io sento un fuoco dentro il cuore molto terribile e voglio urgentemente fare l'amore..." "...se m'è possibile." "Giovanna è una attrice molto bella e giura che per sempre mi amerá." "Lavora nel teatro, arriverá alle quattro quando suoni la campana arriverá." "La campana suonerá e la mia bella arriverá." "Luciana è una bella infermiera conosciuta in tutta la cittá." "Sará un perfetto assunto alle cinque en punto quando suoni la campana arriverá." "La campana suonerá ...e la mia bella arriverá." "Rosanna è una bella cameriera mi giura il nostro amor grande será." "...mi piace tanto lei arriverá alle sei quando suoni la campana arriverá." "La campana suonerá e la mía bella arriverá." "Giulliana è una dolce cantatrice... ..suo canto è troppo dolce in veritá nel cuore mio si mette arriverá alle sette quando suoni la campana arriverá." "La campana suonerá e la mía bella arriverá." "Silvana è una bella ballerina che sempre in movimento se nè stá." "Lará lará lará e mi sembra  che questa campana non suona mai." "And now, a fragment of the drama "Henry Vl"  by William Shakehands." "This is the seventh scene in the third part of the eighth act." "King Henry Vl has poured himself a fifth, though hed rather drink a quart... its only his second all day..." "for him thats a first." "Come, minstrel." "Let us approach Marys balcony to serenade her." "Mary, Mary." "Look at her,  what a pluperfect plebeian." "Should I give up the throne for love of her?" "is a cold crown  worth more than a single reflection of the sun in the golden hair  de Mary Blessing?" "Well, sort of." "Oh, woebegone spirits!" "Oh, everlasting moaning!" "Come to my aid, tell me what I must do  tell me the side youre on, the side  in other words, help me decide." "Look, minstrel, look at the skull,  do you know whose it was?" "Do you know it, do you recognize him?" "Tis true, hes somewhat wasted away." "In life he was Jerry, the buffoon;  his life was one lavish binge,  an interminable orgy..." "Naughty, naughty!" "Do you know why his emaciated mouth remains silent?" "Because hes skulking." "Oh!" "Oh, glorious ancestors!" "Aid me!" "Have pity on me, you, Godfrey the Mule,..." "Norman prince, famous for coming across Abdulhamid while following the cross  twenty-one across, ten letters." "Mary!" "Mary!" "The crown!" "The crown!" "But does one crown matter,  if the rest of the teeth are fine?" "The throne, vain glory,  empty tinsel." "Look, look, minstrel, look at the statue that immortalizes me on a spirited steed." "I, in my vanity, ordered the kingdoms money spent  on an equestrian statue..." "nobody dared "questrion" the expense." "Look, look at the figures:  the king, horse,  only the jack is missing." "The jack..." "Near the cliffs of Dover, navigates Eric the Red,  with greed in his eyes and a flower in his pullover." "Mary, Mary, tell me, why so much tenderness surrounded by so much treachery, meanness and murmuring?" "So the Duke of Boicharment and the Marquis of Coligny got together  in Calais to agree to an alliance?" "Hah, how naive!" "Frightening an Englishman with the Alliance Française." "The French, frighten me?" "They must still remember that tough engagement next to the Arc de Triomphe." "What a memorable day!" "Chateauvieux, Fouchée, Petitfour,  one after another I eliminated my rivals, and then, alone, facing that goal..." "What did he call?" "What cost so many lives?" "What cut off so many dreams?" "Power, the throne!" "The throne, or Mary?" "After all, the reason I want the throne is to mount it  and satisfy all my desires, the most sublime and the most perverted." "The reason I want Mary, on the other hand, is  boy, what a coincidence!" "Come, minstrel, draw near, look,  I would like to sing to Mary, but destiny has punished me  harshly as regards my musical inspiration." "I beg you, add music to my inspired verses to Mary." "For being a fountain of sweetness" "For being a fountain of sweetness" "For being of roses a posy" "For being of roses a posy" "For having a body of such neatness, oh Mary, up to you I cozy." "For having a body of such neatness, oh Mary, up to you I cozy." "Oh Mary, up to you he cozies." "Love me like I love you." "Love him like he loves you." "And all others will envy our love,..." "Hmm... and the rest of us will envy the love of you two." "Oh my love, my Mary." "Oh his love, his Mary." "My ruby, fit for anybodys ring." "His ruby, fit for his or herring." "My song, my poetry, never forget me." "His song, his poetry, never forget... his." ""You are above all else," l sing." "You are above all else, hissing." "You are my merry joy." "You are his merry, er..." "his Mary joy." "My love." "His love." "My treasure." "His treasure." "My all, my, my, mine!" "His all, his histamine." "His histayours!" "So far do you burrow into the deepest of me" "So far... -... that I no longer know if I am mine or I am yours" "So far do you burrow..." "If you loved me, you would love in me  that which we love and is envied by you and by them..." "Love him!" "When you contemplate me disdainfully" "When you contemplate him disdainfully" "You look aloof, harassed." "You look aloof  hisassed." "I need to proclaim my love, you are my clarion, my trumpet." "He needs to proclaim his love, you are his clarion, his strumpet." "No!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "Myopic dunce." "Hisopic dunce." "Mindless knave." "Hisndless knave." "Guards, get to me!" "Guards, get him!" "Very often, a radio soap operas background music moves us  deeply, without our later recalling the name of the composer," "... but, there is one musician.." "... who like few others has suffered this lack of recognition, this forgetfulness  on the audiences part." "Its the Canadian composer..." "Apropos of radio soap operas background music,  we shall now hear a chapter of the radio soap "interrupted Symphony,"... the music for which belongs, precisely  to the Canadian composer  er..." "... whose name  has slipped our mind." "The afternoon radio show presents:..." ""interrupted Symphony."" "Romualdo lzaguirre,  a talented piano soloist, the scion of a rich family,  has fallen in love with María Inés, a clerk in a store,  and is about to marry her." "This attitude by Romualdo, young and attractive,  has unleashed the the jealousy of Patricia,  sister of Esteban, close friend of Romualdos,... the youngest son of the Vidal del Cerro clan, which was related  to the lzaguirres, yes, the ones who used to own land in Baradero." "It seems things didnt go so well, so,  what did the guys do?" "This is very interesting, they up and sold everything, ... and with that dough they went and set up a pig farm  with such bad luck that just at that moment there began..." "That morning, at the store where she works,  María Inés helps an odd-sounding customer." "Packing section." "Anything else, sir?" "No, thats all ggight, miss, how much is that?" "Thats a hundred pesos." "Excuse me, you arent from around here, are you?" "No, miss." "Oh, youre on vacation." "No, no, lm heagg on business,..." "..." "lm an aggtists ggepresentative." "Oh, how interesting." "Yes,..." "... although I am foggced to do it by ciggcunstances." "Why?" "Well, that stoggy is veggy long and veggy sad." "Believe me, lm sorry." "I was a famous opegga singer  in demand at the most impoggtant opegga houses aggound the woggld until  suddenly it was all ovegg." "What happened?" "Well, thats anothegg veggy long and veggy sad stoggy." "Oh!" "Believe me, lm soggy." "Abgguptly I suffegged a teggible illness, which kept me..." "... fggom singing any mogg." "What happened to you?" "Dont you ggealize, miss?" "lm not Fggench, I cant pggnounce my ggs." "Believe me, lm sorry." "Oh!" "It doesnt mattegg, miss, dont woggy." "But now ive come to  offegg a contggact to a talented and young pianist to caggy out  an integg... integg  an integg  integg... an integggg  integg... a woggldwide tour!" "I wonder..." "Ggggg... I wonder, what is the name of this pianist?" "Gggomualdo lzaguigge." "Romualdo lzaguirre?" "Yes, Ggomualdo lzaguigge Belmont." "Romualdo lzaguirre Belmont?" "Yes, Ggomualdo Héctogg lzaguigge Belmont." "Romualdo Héctor lzaguirre Belmont?" "Yes, yes, miss, why, do you know him?" "No...!" "...no, its not possible!" "Yes, yes,  I know him." "That man is  my fiancé." "Ggggg..." "María Inés is filled with excitement." "Disordered images race through her mind;  her imminent wedding, the international tour accompanying  her new husband, success, fame, the triumphant homecoming." "Yeah!" "Swept away by this torrent of fantasies..." "Watch it... watch it!" "Aaaarghhh!" "Swept up by THAT torrent of fantasies,  María Inés reaches the house of Romualdo, who, ignorant of all this  feverishly practices his concert." "Only 24 hours to go until the concert and I still... havent managed to get this part right." "Come in!" "Come in, come in!" "Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa llo, my darling!" "How are you?" "Hello, love, hello, María Inés." "Am I interrupting?" "No, my love, you never interrupt me." "Tell me, Romualdo, are you really ready for the concert?" "Yes, of course." "Arent you nervous?" "Me, nervous?" "Hee, hee, hee, no, Juan Carlos." "No, María Inés!" "lm really relaxed." "Romualdo, baby, I have some marv..." "Er..." "No, the thing is, today I have a touch of asthma." "You were saying, darling?" "Romualdo, baby..." "..." "I have some marvelous news to give you." "Oh, yes?" "Tell me, what is it?" "iii tell you later, now go on practicing, I wouldnt want to interrupt you." "But, love, you know you never interrupt me." "What was that slamming door?" "Me!" "I closed the little door, man." "You know, María Inés?" "I can already imagine tomorrow night at the concert:" "... the audience filling the hall, the lights  dimming." "I, in elegant tails,  step up to the proscenium, greet the audience,..." "Oooooof...!" "... I am greeted by a big ovation,  I sit at the piano and begin to play." "Ooooooohhh Romualdo, Romualdo, boo, hoo, hoo..." "Romualdo, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah ah, ah, ah..." "Romualdo, baby..." "Boo, hoo, hoo, hoo, ah, ah,  oww, oww, boo, hoo  ah, ah, boo, hoo... sniff, sniff..." "... boo, hoo, oww, boo  what beautiful music!" "Romualdo...!" "Er... what a beautiful melody, right?" "Romualdo, babyyyyy." "What is it now, María Inés?" "What is it?" "!" "Sorry, sweetie-pie, I didnt mean to interrupt." "lve told you a million times already that you never interrupt me, María Inés." "Romualdo, you are nervous." "lm not nervous!" "Its my nerves." "Relax, lm leaving now. lll call you later to give you the incredible news." "But what is it about?" "Oh, no, no, no, no, no... ld better tell you later. I wouldnt want to make you nervous; besides, lm in a hurry" "But María Inés, my love." "iii call you later, bye." "My heart, my baby,..." "...my life." "My finger!" "We continue listening to "interrupted Symphony."" "Dusk falls." "Duh, duh, duh duh, dusk falls..." "While Romualdo continues to practice his concert, he is visited..." "... by Patricia..." "Yessss!" "She is torn by jealousy." "Tear!" "Tear!" "Tear!" "Patricia is concocting a plan." "Conc!" "Conc!" "A plan to drive María Inés away from Romualdo." "Only 23 hours to go until the concert and I still havent managed to  get this part right." "Who is it?" "Patricia." "Ah,..." "Romualdo." "Yes?" "lve to speak to you." "Do so." "You know ive always loved you,..." "... since childhood,..." "... and thats the reason ive accepted..." "... your relationship with María Inés,  but... there are things I can no longer hold back." "I dont understand tell me what you mean." "María Inés hasnt told you all the truth about her past." "No!" "Shut up!" "I dont want to know!" "Dont say another word!" "What happened?" "Romualdo, María Inés has had a baby." "Yes, I knew that already,..." "its an old story." "What do you mean old?" "She had it this morning..." "No!" "Yes, Romualdo." "Another one?" "Another one, Romualdo." "It cant be!" "What you tell me cant be true." "Shes a serpent. I wont allow you." "Shes a witch. lm no longer responsible..." "... for my actions, cruel woman." "Take this!" "Ouch!" "You mustnt hit me, Romualdo." "Oh, I mustnt hit you?" "Take that, ive hit you again." "Take that, and take that!" "lm going to go on hitting you." "es, for being a tattler Let me go, you!" "You rotten slut, you tattletal" "Ow, ow!" "Dont forget to tune in tomorrow  for the first chapter of:" ""Who Shot Patricia?"" "Bang!" "The person who has given most thought to music for television,  may be the composer Pierre Pérez Pitzner, author of the book entitled: "The Quaver and the Orthicon, interaction y Proposal."" "That book is the source of the famous phrase that says:  "Out of every ten people who watch television,  five  are half." "Next we shall hear,..." "Next we shall hear, by Pierre Pérez Pitzner,  his "TV Suite Op. 83," also known as "The Commercial Break,"  for reciters, choir and small group of instruments." "Televice." "Televice." "The best programming." "This Saturday dont go away from Televice." "At 5 p.m., in "First-Run Movies": "Untamable Woman."" "Untamable Woman, a lady trapped by her past." ""Let go of me, past!"" "Untamable Woman, a woman who had to face the violent world..." "... of men." "But nobody could subdue the Untamable Woman." "On Saturday at 3, the Untamable Woman will be on your screen." "If she feels like it." "And at 5, a new episode of the series that has millions of..." "... viewers agog." "Two public servants..." "...who tirelessly cruise the streets of Los Angeles." "Carrying out..." "... their important mission." ""The Garbagemen of Los Angeles."" "Dont miss it, "The Garbagemen of Los Angeles," this Saturday at 5." "Attention farmers,  for your hogs to give you ever better yields,  Oink Labs introduces its new pigsty filth,..." "Porca Miseria." ""Porca Miseria."" "Porca Miseria." "Packed wholly in the open air,  which guarantees its perfect contamination." "Pigsty filth..." "Porca Miseria." ""Porca Miseria."" "Porca Miseria." "The best filth for your  pigs!" "And your pigs will resemble true  swine!" "Clean swine never grow fat." "Televice." "Televice." "The best programming." "Dont miss the next broadcast of..." "Saturday Fair,  Saturday Fair." "Saturday Fair." "Saturday Fair,  brings joy to the family at home." "A whole load of contests." "Sweepstakes!" "Music!" "Sweepstakes!" "Joy!" "Sweepstakes!" "Cut it out!" "All right!" "With a star-studded cast of international attractions." "Just arrived from Europe..." "The Tyrol Boys Choir." "Ich liebe dich meine Frieda, meine schöne Frieda ich liebe dich meine Frieda, meine schöne frau" "Ach wie kühl und warum ist die nacht, cuckoo lichtvoll gar, cuckoo, lichtvoll gar, cuckoo ach wie traurig ist sie wenn sie lacht, cuckoo wunderbar, cuckoo, wunder -cuckoo- bar." "Ich liebe dich meine Frieda, meine schöne Frieda" "The Tyrol Boys Choir." "See them before they grow up." "And continuing with the star-studded parade of top figures,  the new and brave voice of the tango, our city music." "Valentín Moral." "The Macho." "I remember that night,... when I left her, but I dont remember where l left her" "Maybe I left her on the bus" "She was wearing gray, no distinguishing marks,..." "She answers to the name of Juana, where she went  turday Fair, Saturday..." "..." "Fair..." "And to crown  "Saturday Fair," the sensational game show: "Think..." "And You Lose."" "You mustnt miss, like every Saturday, "Saturday Fair," coming this Sunday." "Continuing with its cycle dedicated to spreading culture, Televice  offers a new contribution to culture for the people." ""Culture For All,"  literature, the visual arts,  concerts, ballet, typing..." "For the spiritual enrichment of the entire family,..." "See "Culture For All," in its customary timetable of 3 a.m." "Televice." "Televice, hah, hah, hah." "The best "programice"!" "Mom, mom, look at all the moths!" "Dont worry, maam, "Nomoth" moth killer protects your clothes." "They eat all the clothes you bought her  but with Nomoth, Nomoth, you treat them like you oughta," "Spread Nomoth wherever you findem;" "Nomoth, Nomoth,  all moths will slaughter." "They wanted to eat the clothes but Nomoth destroyed them." "Psss, psss..." "Nomoth,..." "Nomoth, Nomoth, Nomoth, all moths with slaughter." "Its revolting, that Nomoth,  a nasty liquid, filthy muck, disgusting filth." "Its a moth killer." "Thats what sickens me, that it kills the little moths." "Moths are harmful bugs." "Why?" "They eat clothes." "And what do you expect them to eat, noodles?" "They are tiny moths, not people..." "Cute they aint, good they aint, Nomoth, Nomoth, Nomoth  teaches moths restraint." "Spread Nomoth wherever you find em," "Nomoth, Nomoth will make moths faint." "I bet these ones wont feel like eating any more clothes." "Oh, you think youre so smart!" "That tiny moth is hungry, thats why it eats the clothes." "Maybe shes sweetly expecting, maybe a tiny little moth is coming,... she could be pregnant, the little slut, who knows what shes been up to,..." "... so thats why she is hungrier." "Moths that your home do throng, Nomoth, Nomoth, Nomoth, gives a boost lifelong." "Spread Nomoth wherever you find em, ... Nomoth, Nomoth makes them fat and strong." "Little moths, the clothes are served and tastier with Nomoth." "Nomoth in its three flavors:" "wool, cotton and polyester." "Nomoth, Nomoth, Nomoth, gives them a boost lifelong." "What was that?" "A moth." "Only... only a few of the elect  truly belong in high society,..." "Only a few of societys elect  display the exact time on their wrists." ""Chaque heure pour la minorie" watches." "Yo, some watch!" "Tickety tickety tickety tock Tick, tock, tick, tock" "Tick, tock, tick, tock" "Chaque heure, Chaque heure, Chaque heure" "Ticke tickety tickety tock" "Chaque heure, Chaque heure, Chaque heure Ticke tickety tickety tock." "Youve bought yourself a Chaque heure pour la minorie?" "Far out, stud!" "Tick, tock, tick, tock." "For ladies and for gentlemen  with a minute and a second hand..." "Kids, ask for the junior Chaque heure with the second hand in the shape of a little worm!" "Chaque heure, Chaque heure, Chaque heure" "Ticke tickety tickety..." "Hey!" "...tock." "We now turn to our timeslot devoted to advice for parents." "And heres this programs habitual host,.." "...Dr. Herbert Tchwok." "Good afternoon, mothers." "Hee, hee, hee!" "Today I will begin my program  with some advice which I have already given you before  but which always bears saying again,  and its the following: children must have a space." "A spot where they know that they can play, run,  jump, make things dirty, break things" "Naturally, maam, its convenient, whenever possible,  for that spot not to be too far from your neighborhood." "Many motherses  see me, worried about infant diarrhea." "Dont worry, lady,  it could be that your baby, perfectly healthy,  dirties the diapers with a certain frequency,  shall we say every three, every two... minutes." "In that case, lady, keep your calm,  change your baby  for another." "In any case, one must be careful with  infant diarrhea, one must take certain precautions because  it leaves a stain." "And now I will teach you a song for you to sing to your tiny ones, the "Song for Moving," to stimulate them to be agile,  happy, healthy, er... and ... agile." "To this end, I already leave you in the company of the musical group "The Little Mushrooms."" "Not fungus, the mushrooms that grow in the soil, okay?" "Er... heh, heh, heh, heh..." "The game is about to begin and it isnt hard." "These ten little fingers are already ready." "The right hand and the other one too,  go forward along with one foot." "The foot remaining goes back  while the head turns and turns." "While one hand is saying "hello,"  the left heel hits us in the behind." "If the right elbow comes up to the temple ,  the hand will scratch the ear with ease." "Scratch your little ear   and hit your little behind." "Between the two legs an arch will be seen,  through it the left hand  will now pass." "Yes... yes..." "After these turns, having got to this point  the hands gladly shake like this." "With this little song we shall finally be  as agile and loose-limbed as a dancer." "Did you enjoy it?" "Heh, heh, heh..." "Now... heh... heh  I will refer to a subject that is the source of many queries  by mothers, fathers er ...by mothers and by fathers:  childrens questions, lady," "... especially those questions on somewhat delicate subjects  like, for example, the well-known, "Where do children come from?"" "Children must always be told the truth,  naturally in words they can understand." "Thus you can explain it to him in the following manner,  you can tell him for example:" ""Look, kid,  since Mom and Dad love each other very much, Dad   made Mom a present of a little seed that he had,  that little seed germinated, grew,  and after nine months,  turned into a beautiful cabbage where you were deposited by the stork  that brought you from Paris."" "Children must always be told the truth." "Children another thing must not be scared..." "Children must not be scared with bogeymen,  witches, ogres,  all of those fearsome imaginary beings." "If the need arises, speak to them about things that are more real:  the wolf, a spider, some humongous snake." "Its hard to believe, but even nowadays,... there are mothers, nowadays, in the midst of the nineteen  twentieth century, who still tell their children things like, for example:  "Look, kid,..." "... if you dont eat your soup, lm going to call the bogeyman."" "Maam..." "And if the bogeyman doesnt want to eat the soup either?" "Children must always be told the truth, one must explain things to then, make them understand the motives, the reasons;.." "... because after all, children, even the tiniest ones,  are thinking beings,  we might almost say they are human beings." "Therefore you must explain things to them patiently, kindly." "For example, a typical case:" ""Look, kid,  its already midnight, isnt that right, darling?" "Its a little late, ... and today we got up early, remember?" "Of course, and   tomorrow too, because you have to go to school... and I have to go to work,  you understand what lm explaining to you?" "That means, darling, that if you dont go to sleep now,  lll slaughter you!"" "Children must always be told the truth." "And now, to conclude this program, I leave you again... in the company of The Little Mushrooms who will teach you  the song: "The Chicken Said Eureka" Heh, heh, heh, heh..." "A chicken from Topeka, laid an egg and said "Eureka."" "The chicken, cluck, cluck, cluck,  the chicken said "Eureka."" "It was so unforeseen she quite forgot her cuis..." "What?" "Why did the little chicken say "Eureka"?" "Yes, you said just now the little chicken said "Eureka," cluck, cluck, cl..." "Explain it to me, why did she say "Eureka"?" "The... the little chicken said "Eureka" because she was very happy." "Yes?" "Of course." "She was happy?" "Very happy." "Very happy?" "Yes." "She was merry." "Well... er... okay." "It was so unforeseen she quite forgot her cuisine." "The chicken, cluck, cluck, cluck,  it interrupted her routine..." "... and..." "And why was she very happy, huh?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "!" "The little chicken was very happy, dear, because she was going to have a baby." "Huh..." "And that made her very happy." "Yes?" "Of course." "Huh... its so beautiful to lay a baby..." "What?" "Have an egg..." "What?" "Have a baby." "So with many proud squeals off she rode on two wheels." "The chicken, cluck, cluck, cluck,..." "And why is it so beautiful to have a baby, huh?" "Because children bring joy into ones life, dear,... with the laughter, with their games, with their questions..." "Each child is like a rose that blooms." "A rose that blooms..." "Yes." "How nice." "You like the little song?" "Yes." "Then shut up!" "With many stunts she went off far showing off like a great star." "And why does the rose bloom, huh?" "Because its a little plant of the Rosaceae family,  with stamens and pistils well inserted in the thalamus;  and just like little plants bloom, people need fulfillment." "All right, okay." "Let me live." "Through the square, unconcerned, back towards home she t..." "And why do people need fulfillment?" "Because to fulfill oneself is to transcend, going beyond circumstances, until reaching  a certain kind of balance  like a trees branches." "Oh, like "branch-ESS."" "Like BRANCH-es." ""Branch-ESS."" "Yes, like "branch-ESS."" "BRANCH-es." "Like a little plane that flies." "Oh... a little plane that flees!" "Yes, flees!" "Like a little boat that floats." "Oh..." "a little boat that floats... okay." "And why does the little boat float?" "Because every body that is immersed in a liquid experiences an  upward push, equal to the weight of the volume of liquid displaced!" "Its the principle of Archimedes!" "Who?" "Archimedes, the one who when he discovered it said "Eureka"!" "Hah, hah, hah..." "like the little chicken!" "Yes, like the little chicken said "Eureka"!" "And why did the little chicken say "Eureka"?" "No, kid, no, little chickens dont talk!" "Tonight, continuing with the cycle of concerts by the Argentine Mastropiereum, ... well hear, by Johann Sebastian Mastropiero,  his trio opus 1 15." "Opus 1 15, according to Hoffmeister;" "according to Kreutzer..." "... its opus 109." "Of course, but..." "Yes, according to Kreutzer, yes;" "according to Glockenkrantz its opus 1 1 7." "Of course, thats fine, but..." "Thats the way it is." "Youre wrong." "Of course, if its 109 its all right, but according to... no, of course..." "But no, lm telling you that... well..." "according to, of course..." "No, thats right." "Of course, but not... all... all right Then its 1 13." "1 1 7." "But..." "I... of course, well..." "1 1 7." "It cant be that... lt was over a hundred." "This trio has been composed for latin, cellato and piano." "No,  for latin, piano and cellato." "Excuse me, whats the différence?" "Its a difference in the order, its a typical ordeic difference." "The trio is for latin, piano and... excuse me, cellato." "With that criterion one could also say its for... excuse me,..." "... cellato, piano and latin." "And with that criterion  it could be for cellato, latin, piano and excuse me." "Hooooo... hooooo..." "Mmmeh...." "Mmmeh!" "The version we shall hear tonight of this work,..." "... will be performed by the renowned trio Euterpe." "Euterpesss." "No, no, Euterpe." "Euterpess, its a trio." "Hah, hah, hah, hah, hah, hah, hah..." "No, mon cher ami." "Euterpe, like the muse." "Euterpess, like Archimides, Euripides, meatballs, Platos." "Platos of meatballsss." "Within Mastropieros output, this trio corresponds..." "... to what we might call his middle period." "Middle what?" "Middle period... within..." "Dont say a word, a middle period..." "No, hey..." "Matropieros oeuvre is, for study purposes  divided into a middle period, early period..." "And latish period!" "Huh?" "Middle latish." "Its... a yoga position." "No, its an uncomfortable position." "Musical works,  like all works of art,  are never dissociated from the historical period  in which they have been composed." "Save this one." "Actually, regarding this trio it isnt really known  if its an expanded duo or a reduced quartet." "Very often my students, my teachers, my colleagues,  my students, rather, ask me if this contrapuntal aphasia  in Mastropieros subject matter imbricates the intrinsic whole... of his output, inasmuch its the cause effect of the later consequence,  or rather as a later consequence, in a previous cause effect," "...eponymous, imperishable, factful or ut supra." "I always tell them no." "... no idea." "Er... excuse me, students of what?" "Basketball." "I believe that eeeeheeeehheeeh  eeeeehhheeeeehheeehh  eh... eh... eeeehhheeehhh.  early on in this trio, it might already be pointed out  that through his handling of melody, Mastropiero demonstrates that  he was never bold, hah!" "That he was always bold!" "Moreover, out of his entire output,  this work shows him at his most pathetic  emphatic!" "Menswear House of Illinois." "No, no..." "qu'est que vous dit, monsieur!" ""lllinooah"  in English." "According to the opinion of the most conspicuous musicologists..." "Most what?" "Conspicuous." "Ohhhh." "What is conspicuous?" "Er... well... err..." "According to the opinion of the most conspicuous musicologists,..." "Emmm... because... emmm... yes  tis also said of... emmm..." "Emmm..." "lets see..." "no, because its also  its tantamount to a... er... according to the opinion of the most conspicuous musicologists..." "According to the opinion of some musicologists,  belonging to the most celebrated coteries..." "Celebrated what?" "... coteries: co te ries, meaning factions: f  conspicuous!" "Well... ive heard drivel before, but..." "There is no doubt." "No?" "iii bring you some right away." "Very well, we shall now hear, performed by the Euterpe trio,  by Johann Sebastian Mastropiero, his... his trio opus over a hundred." "I was born in Africa, thats why my skin is black." "My name is Oblongo,  which in a Swahili dialect means: "longer than it is wide-o."" "I know every tree in this forest, every path  in my village, all the stories of its people..." "Some stories!" "I can tell the difference between the track of a gray Nigerian elephant  with three men on its back, from the tracks of a  pelican." "I can recognize any bird by the way it flies,  however fast its flight, I follow it with my eyes and, without hesitation,  name it..." "Bird!" "I call the hyena "orumba,"  I call the mosquito "Ouatabane,"  but ld rather not call it because it just might turn up." "I wonder whats become of my nephew, Yogurtu Nghe,  who suddenly had to flee the village owing  to the scarcity of rhinoceroses." "Yogurtu Nghe..." "He was the most handsome and best-looking youth in the tribe,  his skin was so dark that in the village they called him "Blackie."" "His voice... his voice was as sonorous as the lions roar, it had the warmth  of the panthers snarl, the deep roughness of the buffalos bellow,  he sang..." "like an animal!" "I wonder whats become of my nephew  Yogurtu..." "Nghe  who suddenly had to flee the village owing to  the scarcity of rhinoceroses?" "Maybe Yogurtu inherited the ominous fate of his grandfather,  the renowned witch doctor Obtuso Nghe,  renowned witch doctor from whom I learned the arts of sorcery  and to whom came women from all over Africa so hed make them more beautiful  by enlarging their heads." "Obtuso spoke to them, spoke to them, their heads were left like this!" "Maybe Yogurtu inherited the turbulent fate of his aunt,  my sister, Bahgen..." "Nghe." "Boy, was Bahgen beautiful!" "When she danced the harvest dance,  the natives grew restless." "Many loved Bahgen." "On the mahogany trees growing on the banks of the stream,  one can still see the carved hearts and their messages:.." "... "Bahgen and Kalubu,"  "Bahgen and Mengue,"  "Bahgen and Sir Archibald Bradley,"  "Bahgen and the Obembe tribe"..." "Well... they were Pygmies." "Even today, every time a beautiful maiden charms  all the males in the tribe,  the aged sages avow:" ""Shes a real Bahgen."" "I wonder whats become of my nephew Yogurtu Nghe  who suddenly had to flee owing to  the scarcity of rhinoceroses." "If I could find him,  if I could make use of the infallible acuteness of my senses" "Like that night,  I remember it perfectly,  I was at 100 paces from the hut of Chief Afobutu." "In the midst of the darkness of the night,  my eyes made out a human figure furtively entering  the chiefs hut..." "Some sense of sight!" "I began to approach,  my ears registered the whispering of two voices, and panting,  almost imperceptible panting that came from the chiefs hut." "Some sense of hearing!" "I remembered that Chief Afobutu had gone hunting for a week  leaving his wife alone in the hut." "And I suspected something fishy." "Some sense of smell!" "I reached the very door of the hut." "In the darkness I felt the shield of a warrior  and a spear leaning against the wall,.." "... and my fingers recognized that that shield and that spear  werent those of Chief Afobutu,... they were those of my nephew Yogurtu  Nghe!" "Then I withdrew silently trying not to inconvenience them." "Some sense of tact!" "I wonder whats become of my nephew Yogurtu Nghe,  who suddenly had to flee the village  when Chief Afobutu returned from the hunt  two days before he was expected  owing to the scarcity of rhinoceroses!" "Letter from Yogurtu!" ""Dear Uncle Oblongo:" "After lengthy wandering,  lm finally here  in the United States." "On arrival, I saw print for the first time." "They took my fingerprint." "With white ink." "iii tell you it isnt true that all blacks are mistreated in this country; some blacks are mistreated in other countries." "I any case I am bent on making it big as a musician." "By the way, dear uncle,  wouldnt you teach me some magic words  to achieve success and applause?" "Love, Yogurtu Nghe"." ""Dear nephew Yogurtu Nghe:..."" "... colon..." ""l send you these sounds  hoping to find you well..."" ""Well" with a "w,"  period, new paragraph." ""ln order to triumph,  I recommend you employ the magic words,  which earn you success and immediate applause." "You must say: Singui ngtumi!"" "Ooh, bravo, bravissimo, maestro, bravo!" "No, no." "Theres a confusion, the magic words are..." "... only for transmitting to Yogurtu." "Ohhh..." "Singui ngtumi." "Oh, bravo, bravissimo!" "Encore, encore...!" "Oh, oh, oh, oh!" "Oh, oh, oh, oh...!" "Ooohhh!" "The tribe idiot..." "Singui ngtumi"." "Heh, heh, heh..." ""But,  you must be very careful and pronounce the magic words  exactly as I have taught them to you..."" "Shorthand!" ""... because if you changes anything  you would produce  different effects." "For instance, if you said  er  singtu ngimi..."" "Ughhh!" ""Dear Uncle Oblongo:..." "Thanks for recommending your magic formula;" "I continue... bent on succeeding as a musician and managed to land an audition  for the choir of the Congregation led by Reverend O'Hara." "Reverend O'Hara has a very good voice  and has taught his technique to all the members of the choir." "Listening to them, you can tell they all sing like reverend... I went to the audition with lots of hope." "In case of emergency, I had the magic words ready." "Take me home where the glories  have no end." "Take me home,  take me home." "Where you here  when I gathered all the lambs?" "Where you here, where you here?" "Take me home." "Oh, yes, take me home." "Take me home." "Sweet chariot take me home." "I'll be waiting here where l belong for the balms and joys I've dreamt so long." "And sweet chariot  will find me in Mississippi." "Take me home." "Oh, yes, take me home." "Take me home." "Sweet chariot, take me home." "Did you ever see the blue sky?" "Yes, yes." "ln the middle of the storm?" "No, no." "Did you ever see the ocean..." "Yes, yes." "... going back and going forth?" "No, no." "Did you ever see the sinner..." "Yes, yes." "... when you're away from home?" "No, no." "Ba bee dooby dooby dooby" "No, no." "Ba bee dooby dooby doo" "No, no." "Ba bee dooby dooby dooby" "No, no." "Ba bee dooby dooby dooby" "No, no." "Dooby dooby dooby doo" "No, no." "Ba bee dooby dooby dooby..." "No, no." "Dooby dooby dooby doo" "No, no." "Ba bee dooby dooby dooby" "No, no." "Ba bee dooby dooby dooby" "Yes, yes." "Dooby dooby dooby doo" "No, no." "Ba bee dooby dooby dooby" "Bye, bye." "Dabee dooby dooby doo..." "Bye, bye." "Stop!" "Singui  pee!" "He said the diuretic formula!" "After the audition, the Reverend O'Hara  told me that a soloist like myself singing in a choir  was a real waste,  and that he followed the rule of getting rid of waste." "I continue to await another opportunity as a musician." "In the meantime, I got a job in a surprising thing  that ill try to explain to you:  it involves laying down two long ribbons of iron  over which will slide a giant caterpillar;  behind it, it pulls some cabins on wheels  which carry people inside them." "Its fantastic!" "Lots of love, Yogurtu Nghe."" ""Dear nephew:" "lm very impressed  by what you tell me about this "caterpillar with cabins."" "Never in my life had I heard something that sounded so much like a train!" "lm sorry you didnt exactly say the magic words "Singui ngtumi."" "You must pay more attention if you wish to succeed." "Yours, your uncle Oblongo"." ""Dear Uncle Oblongo:..." "How I miss everyone!" "What has become of naughty old Aunt Bahgen?" "is she continuing with her orientation courses for teenagers?" "And Chief Afobutu, is he still angry with me because of my friendship with his wife?" "I must tell you I have written a musical comedy  about the story of my life." "I hope it is successful." "iii tell you a scene, its an old memory of childhood:  the day you taught me the secrets of the ritual to make it rain." "Yogurthu!" "Come here, my smart young nephew,  lll teach you to invoke the gods so theyll send us rain." "You mean it?" "What are you going to teach Charlie?" "Huh?" "He says hes going to teach him to make it rain,  and if I learn, lll make a bundle, man." "Let me too." "Thanks." "lmitate my movements." "Okay." "Come, windstorms, hurricanes." "Come, storms, downpours." "Come, big rains." "Dont you need to do any working out?" "Big rains." "Small rains?" "Drizzles... a  a little dampness?" "And the rain?" "Were killing ourselves here." "Crazy weather, huh?" "Let us clasp hands." "Let it rain, let it rain, Rain, rain, come this way, come here  this very day..." "This gang all got together..." "So let me go!" "Let go, let go!" "Let me go, I dont like it!" "Let go, you nut!" "Ahhhhh!" "iii turn to the last resort:" "repeat my words." "My words, my words!" "Shut up, you blockhead!" "Shut up, you bl..." "But you..." "Shut up!" "iShhhh!" "Rain." "Rain." "Come." "Come." "Rain!" "Rain!" "Come." "Come." "Come." "Come." "Come, come." "Come, come." "Come, come." "Rain, come." "Rain, come." "Come to me,  I need you,..." "... oh, come." "Come to me." "Since youve gone I am thirsty,  thirsty for you." "Oh, come." "Drench me, wet me all up, I beg of you." "Oh, come. I need you, come to me, for Gods sake, I am thirsty." "Moisten me, sprinkle me, spray me,  water me, soak me." "Oh, come." "Nebulize me, vaporize me, spit on me,  but dont leave me,  beautiful rain, doll, baby,  without you." ""Dear nephew:" "I didnt write until now because I was clapping." "I must tell you that Chief Afobutu is still very angry." "He no longer goes hunting, because he says that he cant stand either the charges  of the rhinoceroses or their horns." "Regarding naughty old Aunt Bahgen, lll tell you that  by virtue of her age, in the village everybody respects her very much." "Thats why she went to live in another village to see if she had better luck there." "I remind you that to succeed with your musical comedy,  the magic words Singui ngtumi can be useful to you." "Love, your uncle Oblongo"." ""Dear uncle, at last I have achieved success. I finally opened   the musical comedy about the story of my life." "For a title I gave it your magic words:  Singing to me!" "Its success is sensational, although I dont know if its  because of the magic words or because of the realism  with which I perform the scene in the hut with Chief Afobutus wife." "This scene is giving me big satisfactions." "And now I put pen down, because lm already on to do the final number,... in which I dance with my Uncle Oblongo on the streets of New York."" "Singing to me Saturday night" "You promise your love to me" "Oh!" ", my heaven above me Singing to me Saturday night I started my dream with you I'll make you feel like a princess, I shall bring you the stars" "You make me happy, you make me so new" "All of a sudden my troubles are thru." "Singing to me Saturday night I started my dream with you" "1 , 2, 3, 4!" "Yes, you promised to give  all your love, your love to me, yes  when you were swinging with me  high as a kite." "You really gave me the light." "Singing to me Saturday night." "Singing to me!" "Les Luthiers will now perform, as an encore,  a work belonging to a composer passionate about  everything to do with skid row, outer fringes, tough guys." "Mario Abraham Kortzclap..." "Kortzclap." "Kortzclap is the author of famous tangos,  like that celebrated one entitled: "A Skirts Affair,"  in which he tells the tragic love story of two Scottish soldiers." "Les Luthiers will now perform by Mario Abraham Kortzclap,  his piece in tango form, opus 1 1 ,  also known as Twosticks." "Put it here!" "When I come back to the pad  that you abandoned  that afternoon of drinking and arguments,  I remember the love for me that you swore you had,  and the kisses that at night you used to give me." "When lm hitting the bottle and feeling bitter, I wonder if your affection was undefiled, and although I search among the broads there is none  who like you will love me like a child." "Why did you leave, Mom,  with that disagreeable cretin?" "Why did you leave in a whirl, leaving me to my pain?" "Why did you leave, Mom, with that elderly man?" "Why did you leave, old girl?" "Whats he got that I dont?" "At the corner of the blacksmiths the doll ... hand to hand with silk and the percale ... watches the muscle that never rests ... of romance patsy watch out dirty dough." "Tricky infatuation handsome hoodlum,  coffeehouses, skid rows, outer fringes,  slum house, old neighborhood, corner and tango,  passionate illusions held without a twinge" "... es." "Why did you leave, Mom?" "I didnt give you many clothes to wash." "Why did you leave in a whirl?" "I seldom hit you." "Why did you leave, old girl?" "Why are you no longer here, Mom?" "As theres only one mom,  you leave me alone and sad." "If you dont send me more dough, lll go and live with Dad."