"IAMSO SICKOFTHAT STUPID" "BITCH." "BLABBING, PRISSY LITTLE SKANK!" "WHY DO PEOPLE TALK ON THE PHONE" "LIKE THAT?" "I CAN'T EVEN GET A MINUTE OF" "PEACE BEFORE THAT BITCH WALKS IN" "HOLDING THE CELL PHONE OUT LIKE" "THIS AND TALKING ON" "SPEAKERPHONE." "NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR YOUR" "GODDAMN CONVERSATIONS YOU LITTLE" "BITCH, YOU'RE NOT THAT" "IMPORTANT!" "YEAH,NODUDE,I'M TELLING" "YOU IT WAS THE WORST PAIN IN MY" "ENTIRE LIFE." "HOWMANYHOURSWEREYOUGUYS" "PLAYING?" "LIKESIXHOURSDUDE." "AND MY FRIENDS WERE ALL LIKE" "'DUDE CARTMAN WE NEED YOU TO" "KEEP PLAYING DEFENSE.'" "URHGGH!" "YOUWEREPLAYINGFOOTBALL?" "YEAHBUTIWAS LIKE,'ICAN'T" "YOU GUYS, I TWISTED MY ANKLE'." "IN THE END THOUGH THEY REALLY" "NEEDED ME TO PLAY SO I PLAYED" "THROUGH THE PAIN." "KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?" "THATISNOTWHATHAPPENEDYOU" "TOTALLY STARTED CRYING AND QUIT" "THE GAME!" "KYLE,THISIS APRIVATE" "CONVERSATION!" "THENTAKETHATSHITOFF" "SPEAKERPHONE!" "ISTHATTHATSAMEKID?" "YEAHIT'STHATKID KYLE" "AGAIN." "HE'S A TOTAL BONER." "ALWAYS LISTENING IN ON MY PHONE" "CALLS." "HOWDOWE HAVEACHOICE?" "STOPLISTENINGTO MY" "CONVERSATION KYLE!" "WHAT ARE YOU, THE NSA?" "LAWRENCE, REMEMBER I WAS TELLING" "HOW THE GOVERNMENT LISTENS TO" "EVERYONE'S PHONE CALLS AND READS" "ALL OUR EMAILS?" "YEAH,YEAHYOUSAIDTHAT ." "MYDADSAIDTHE GOVERNMENT" "KEEPS A DATA BASE ON EVERYONE." "WHOISTHAT?" "IS THAT TOBY?" "YEAH." "DUDE,TOBYAREYOU OVERAT" "LAWRENCE'S?" "YEAHWE'REDITCHINGSCHOOL." "YOU'REWHAT?" "WHAT'D YOU SAY?" "MEANDTOBYARE DITCHING" "SCHOOL." "I'MTELLINGYOUGUYSTHE" "GOVERNMENT THINKS THEY CAN DO" "WHATEVER THEY WANT AND WE DON'T" "HAVE ANY PRIVACY ANYMORE." "JUSTBETWEENYOUAND ME, I" "THINK EVERYONE IS TOO STUPID TO" "SEE WHAT THIS IS ALL LEADING TO." "DID YOU GUYS READ 1984?" "IDON'TTHINKSO." "YEAH,I DIDN'TREADEITHER" "BUT I SAW THE PUPPET SHOW" "VERSION AT CASA BONITA." "WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT" "THIS." "WE NEED TO ORGANIZE A RALLY." "THAT'DBECOOL." "THAT'DBEWHAT?" "IT'DBECOOL." "IKNOWRIGHT,ABIGRALLY TO" "TELL THE GOVERNMENT TO STAY OUT" "OF OUR PRIVATE LIVES!" "I'M GONNA EMAIL EVERYBODY AND" "PUT IT UP ON MY BLOG PAGES." "ISERIOUSLYFEELLIKEI'M" "BEING SPIED ON RIGHT NOW." "I'M SURE THE GOVERNMENT HAS A" "FILE ON ME A MILE LONG THAT'S" "WHY THIS IS SO IMPORTANT, YOU" "KNOW?" "HANG ON I'M GONNA MAKE A VIDEO" "BLOG FOR MY 'STOP LISTENING TO" "ME' WEBSITE." "WASSUPEVERYBODYIT 'SME" "AGAIN JUST KICKIN' IT AT MY" "SCHOOL." "THERE'S GONNA BE A BIG RALLY TO" "TELL THE GOVERNMENT TO STOP" "GATHERING INFORMATION ON US." "GONNA TWEET YOU ALL THE DETAILS" "BUT KEEP IT QUIET CUZ IT'S TOP" "SECRET." "YOU GUYS GONNA UPDATE YOUR BLOGS" "TOO?" "DUDEI CAN'TREALLYHEARYOU" "LAWRENCE ARE YOU OUTSIDE OR" "SOMETHING?" "ISAIDIGOT YOURTWEETOF" "THE ADDRESS." "OKAY." "WELL, PUT TOBY BACK ON THE PHONE" "YOU GOTTA START GOOGLING" "EVERYONE THE DIRECTIONS TO THE" "RALLY SITE." "TOBY YOU THERE, BRO?" "YEAH,I 'MHEREBRO." "BROYOUGOTTA,UM, EMAILDEX" "ABOUT THE RALLY AND SEE IF HE'LL" "BRING PETITION FORMS." "WILLYOUPLEASETAKEYOUR" "RALLY CONVERSATION SOMEWHERE" "ELSE?" "OHHELLNO YOUDID NOT JUST" "INVADE MY PRIVACY AGAIN." "THAT IS THE LAST STRAW KYLE!" "EVERYBODY!" "EVERYBODY, HEY!" "JUST SO YOU KNOW WE MIGHT HAVE" "AN NSA AGENT RIGHT HERE AT OUR" "SCHOOL." "WHAT'STHENSA?" "JUSTSOYOUKNOW." "THE GOVERNMENT IS WATCHING" "EVERYTHING YOU DO." "ALWAYS WATCHING." "THEY SAY IT'S TO KEEP US SAFE," "BUT WHAT PRICE IS SAFETY, KYLE?" "CARTMAN LOOKS KYLE UP AND DOWN" "AND THEN STORMS OFF." "THEGOVERNMENTWATCHES" "EVERYTHING WE DO?" "HELLO?" "HEY GOVERNMENT." "IT'S ME." "BUTTERS." "I JUST WANNA SAY, WUL, THANKS" "FOR WATCHIN' OVER ME AND DOING" "EVERYTHING YOU DO." "AND PLEASE WATCH OVER MOMMY AND" "DADDY." "AND MY FRIENDS STAN AND KYLE," "CRAIG AND TOKEN." "AND EVEN OL' ERIC CARTMAN." "I KNOW HE CAN BE A MEANY" "SOMETIMES, BUT PLEASE WATCH OVER" "HIM TOO." "G'NIGHT GOVERNMENT." "OH YEAH!" "AND THANK YOU PRESIDENT OBAMA" "FOR MAKING ME FEEL SO SAFE AND" "LOOKED AFTER." "AND IF IT WOULDN'T BE TOO MUCH" "TROUBLE, I'D REALLY LIKE TO GET" "A PUPPY FOR CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR." "NIGHT, GOVERNMENT!" "DUDETHEYHAVEGONETOOFAR" "THIS TIME!" "THERE IS NO DOUBT THE GOVERNMENT" "IS TRACKING ME." "WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO PUT OFF THE" "RALLY." "THEY'RESPYINGON YOU?" "YEAHIT'SRIGHTHERE." "I WENT TO AMAZON TO SEE IF THEY" "HAD GRAND THEFT AUTO FIVE AND IT" "SAYS 'YOU MIGHT ALSO BE" "INTERESTED IN THE BLU-RAY FOR" "STAR TREK.'" "I'M TOTALLY INTERESTED IN THE" "BLU-RAY FOR STAR TREK." "HOW DID THEY KNOW THAT UNLESS" "THE GOVERNMENT IS KEEPING TABS" "ON ME?" "THIS IS WAR BRO." "FORGET THE RALLY." "WE HAVE TO GO HARDCORE." "LIKEWHAT?" "ALRIGHT." "LISTEN, I'M GONNA GET A JOB AT" "THE NSA AND THEN I'M GOING TO" "PUT ALL THEIR SECRETS UP ON" "TWITTER." "NAHDON'TDO THAT." "NODUDE,I'MGONNASNEAKINTO" "THEIR HEADQUARTERS DISGUISED AS" "AN EMPLOYEE AND I'M GONNA " "HANG " " HANG ON A SECOND," "LAWRENCE." "I THINK WE HAVE A NOSEY NANCY IN" "THE ROOM." "DUDE, MY TWITTER ACCOUNT MIGHT" "ALREADY BE COMPROMISED." "IF I'M GOING TO INFILTRATE THE" "NSA AND GET ALL THEIR SECRETS" "OUT TO THE PUBLIC THEN I'M GONNA" "NEED SOMETHING BETTER THAN" "TWITTER." "YOUNEEDTHATNEW THINGWHERE" "YOU DON'T NEED TO TYPE." "WHATTHEYALREADYSOMETHING" "BETTER THAN TWITTER?" "YOUHAVEN'TYOUSEENTHEALEC" "BALDWIN COMMERCIAL?" "NO." "WHAT ALEC BALDWIN COMMERCIAL?" "HELLO,I 'MALECBALDWIN." "AND I LOVE SOCIAL MEDIA." "BUT SOMETIMES I ACCIDENTALLY" "TWEET THINGS THAT ARE" "HOMOPHOBIC." "I DON'T THINK THAT WAY, I JUST" "TYPE THAT WAY." "THAT'S WHEN I REALIZED, IT" "WASN'T ME THAT WAS HOMOPHOBIC." "IT WAS MY THUMBS, AND THEY" "NEEDED TO BE GOTTEN RID OF." "DAH!" "SO THEN THE PROBLEM WAS, I DON'T" "HAVE THUMBS, BUT I KNOW THAT" "EVERYONE IN AMERICA STILL WANTS" "TO HEAR EVERYTHING I HAVE TO" "SAY." "WELL, THAT'S OKAY BECAUSE NOW" "THERE'S A DEVICE THAT CAN" "ACTUALLY TAKE THE THOUGHTS IN" "YOUR HEAD, AND SEND THEM" "DIRECTLY TO THE INTERNET." "IT'S CALLED SHITTER." "WIRES ARE GRAFTED HARMLESSLY" "INTO YOUR SKULL AND ANY THOUGHT" "YOU HAVE IS UPLOADED TO THE" "INTERNET AND ON TO ALL YOUR" "SHITTER FOLLOWERS." "I'M AT A YANKEES GAME RIGHT NOW." "GOD I LOVE BASEBALL." "PEOPLE WHO TAKE THEIR CATS ON" "PLANES SHOULD BE SHOT." "I'M AT A REALLY GREAT MUSICAL" "RIGHT NOW." "IN 1992, I HAD SEX WITH THE" "QUEEN OF MONACO." "I HAD MY ENTIRE FIST UP HER ASS." "DON'T LET YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA SLOW" "DOWN YOUR NEED TO COMMUNICATE" "WITH THE WORLD." "GO DIRECT FROM THOUGHT TO" "INTERNET WITH SHITTER." "JUST FINISHED MY SHITTER" "COMMERCIAL." "TIME TO DO FIND A PUSSY" "SANDWICH." "ALRIGHT." "WASSUP EVERYBODY WASSUP." "I'M ABOUT READY TO GO TO THE NSA" "UNDERCOVER AND SEE IF I CAN" "EXPOSE SOME OF THEIR SECRETS." "YOU CAN FOLLOW ME ON MY SHITTER" "ACCOUNT AT HASHTAG" "KEEPTHEGOVERNMENTOUTOFMYBUSINESS" "WAIT!" "SHH." "I GOTTA BE CAREFUL." "KYLE IS HERE AND I'M PRETTY SURE" "HE'S TRYING TO LISTEN IN." "WHATTHEHELLARE YOU DOING?" "KYLE,IFYOUWOULDN'TMIND ," "THIS BROADCAST IS FOR MY SHITTER" "FOLLOWERS ONLY." "WHAT'SSHITTER?" "DON'TKNOWIF YOU'VEHEARD," "BUT THE GOVERNMENT IS ACTUALLY" "ABLE TO MONITOR ALL OUR EMAILS" "AND TWITTER ACCOUNTS." "WITHSHITTER,IDON 'TEVEN" "NEED A CEL PHONE, MY THOUGHTS" "ARE SENT DIRECTLY TO THE" "INTERNET, AND THEN TO EVERYONE" "ELSE ON SHITTER." "WOW!" "YES." "NOW AS I INFILTRATE THE NSA I'LL" "BE ABLE TO BROADCAST EVERYTHING" "TO ALL MY SHITTER FOLLOWERS." "YOU'REOKAYWITHEVERYTHING" "YOU THINK GOING UP ON THE" "INTERNET." "YEAHBECAUSETHEGOVERNMENT" "WON'T RESPECT MY PRIVACY!" "HOWMANYPEOPLEARE ON" "SHITTER?" "JUSTTWOSO FAR." "ME AND ALEC BALDWIN." "I'MABOUTTO SITDOWNANDEAT" "A SANDWICH AT THIS AMAZING DELI" "RUN BY TWO FAGGOTS IN CHELSEA." "OHKEWL." "I'LL HAVE TO TRY IT OUT" "SOMETIME." "LOL." "IN1982IWAS ATA PARTYAT" "MIKE DOUGLAS' HOUSE AND I" "[BLEEP] KIM BASINGER." "WOW,THAT'SCOOL." "SHE'S CUTE, WINK EMOJI." "OHMYGOD." "OH GOD THEY SAW ME." "THEY SAW ME AND THEY'RE GONNA BE" "SO ANGRY." "MAYBE THEY DIDN'T SEE ME!" "NO, NO THEY SAW ME, THEY SEE" "EVERYTHING." "I DID SOMETHING REALLY BAD." "REALLY, REALLY BAD." "NEXT!" "OHGOD!" "BUT MY PARENTS ALWAYS TOLD ME," ""IF YOU DO SOMETHING HORRIBLE" "THEN YOU HAVE TO ADMIT IT TO" "YOUR PROTECTOR SO THAT YOU CAN" "HAVE FORGIVENESS."" "ARE THESE PEOPLE NICE?" "DMVPEOPLE?" "THERE THE MEANEST PEOPLE ON" "PLANET EARTH." "OHGEEZ." "OHGOD!" "HERE WE GO." "I YELLED AT A MIDGET." "I WAS WATCHING MTV, AND THIS" "LITTLE PERSON WAS SINGING A" "SONG, I THINK HER NAME WAS PINK" "AND I DIDN'T LIKE THE SONG AND" "SO I YELLED 'HEY GET OFF TV YOU" "[BLEEP] MIDGET!" "'" "AND I, UH, I WAS AT BARNES AND" "NOBLES WITH MY MOM." "AND WHILE SHE WAS LOOKING FOR A" "BOOK, I SAW THIS PICTURE OF" "JENNIFER LAWRENCE IN A" "MAGAZINE." "UM, AND I " " WUL, I CUT THE" "PICTURE OUT OF THE MAGAZINE" "WHILE NO ONE WAS LOOKING." "THERE'S MORE." "I TOOK THE PICTURE HOME WITH ME." "AND I " " I CUT JENNIFER" "LAWRENCE'S MOUTH OUT WITH" "SCISSORS." "AND THEN I " " I PUT MY WIENER" "THROUGH THE HOLE." "I HAVE NO IDEA WHY!" "HOW CAN I ATONE FOR IT?" "I ALREADY SAID THE PLEDGE OF" "ALLEGIANCE 50 TIMES!" "AND I SANG 'MY COUNTRY TIS OF" "THEE' A HUNDRED TIMES, AND I" "WATCHED 'AMERICA'S GOT TALENT'" "TWICE!" "WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?" "WHYNOTATHOUSAND'LIVINGIN" "AMERICAS'." "YES!" "YES I WILL!" "OH THANK YOU!" "I WILL!" "OH I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER" "ALREADY!" "?" "LIVIN' IN AMERICA" "?" "EYE TO EYE" "?" "HAND TO HAND" "?" "ACROSS THE NATION" "SMOKETRACKFATBACK!" "MANY MILES OF RAILROAD TRACK!" "OW OW!" "SAY OW OW!" "CANI HELPYOUSIR ?" "YES,I 'MHERETO APPLYFOR" "THE NSA JOB." "ALRIGHT." "AND YOUR NAME?" "BILLCLINTON." "IDON'TSEEYOU ONTHELIST," "MR. CLINTON." "OH." "WELL, MUST BE A CLERICAL" "MISTAKE, BUT THEY ARE EXPECTING" "ME." "IFYOU'REEVERINLOSANGELES" "BE SURE TO LOOK UP JENNIFER LOVE" "HEWITT." "SHE CAN MAKE A PUSSY SANDWICH" "THAT WILL GIVE THOSE FAGGOTS IN" "CHELSEA A RUN FOR THEIR MONEY." "WHATHAVEYOUGOT ,PATRICIA?" "UH,THISMANSAYSHEHASAN" "INTERVIEW FOR A JOB, SIR." "IAMEXTREMELYQUALIFIEDSIR" "AND VERY EAGER TO WORK." "IBORROWEDMY BROTHERSDICK" "ONCE TO [BLEEP] DARYL HANNAH." "I,UH,WASSURETHE" "APPOINTMENT WAS TODAY." "THAT'SQUITEALRIGHT." "THE NSA NEEDS ALL THE HELP IT" "CAN GET." "COME ON UPSTAIRS AND I'LL SHOW" "YOU AROUND." "HELLO,SIR." "MY COLLEAGUE AND I ARE GOING SRU" "THE NEIGHBORHOOD AND SEE IF YOU" "LIKE TO KNOW THE TRUS." "SUREI LOVETHETRUTH!" "OKAY." "WE FROM THE JEHOVAH'S WITNESS WE" "ARE KINGDOM HALL OF JEHOVAH'S" "WITNESS AND WE BELIEVE, SIR THAT" "MAYBE PEOPLE THE INTERPRET THE" "BIBLE WONG." "WHAT'SA JEHOVAH'SWITNESS?" "YESSIR,WE BELIEVETHE " "THE TRUTH." "I WAS ONCE LIKE YOU I NOT KNOW" "WHAT TO BELIEVE BUT THEN I LET" "MY PROVIDER JEHOVAH INTO MY" "HEART." "OHMYGOODNESS." "YOUR LITTLE CARTOON HAS A GIRL" "ON FIRE!" "YES,BECAUSEJEHOVAHWILL" "BRING JUDGMENT AND ALL WILL" "PERISH, LIKE THE LITTLE GIRL" "WILL BURN IN THE FIRE." "OHYOUSHOULDN'TBEHANDING" "OUT DRAWINGS LIKE THIS, MA'AM." "DON'T YOU KNOW THAT THE" "GOVERNMENT IS WATCHING YOU?" "THEGOVERNMENTWATCHINGME?" "WHAZZE?" "HESAIDTHEGOVERNMENT" "WATCHING US." "RIGHTNOW?" "HOWLONGTHEYBEENWATCHING" "US?" "CANI ASKYOUSOMETHING?" "WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WENT" "TO YOUR LOCAL DMV?" "INOGO DMV." "I DON'T HAVE CAR." "OHYOUCANWALKTHERE." "TRUST ME, YOU GOTTA GO TO THE" "DMV, IT'S INCREDIBLE." "SEE, I WAS LIKE YOU ONCE," "AFRAID, UNSURE, DOIN' STUFF I" "SHOULDN'T DO LIKE SHOWING PEOPLE" "PICTURES OF LITTLE GIRLS WITH" "THEIR HEADS ON FIRE." "BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE LEARNED?" "THAT JUST GOING TO THE DMV AND" "LETTING GO OF ALL MY WRONG" "DOINGS FILLED ME WITH A JOY I" "HAD FELT NOWHERE ELSE." "WOULD YOU LIKE TO READ SOME DMV" "LITERATURE?" "THIS'LL TELL YOU MOST OF WHAT" "YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE DMV." "BUT JUST GO, EVERYONE THERE IS" "REALLY NICE." "YOUR GOVERNMENT IS WATCHING YOU," "AND YOUR GOVERNMENT WANTS YOU TO" "BE HAPPY." "HAVE A NICE DAY!" "RIGHTTHISWAY,BILL." "WELCOME TO THE NSA MAIN OFFICE." "AHYES." "SO THIS IS WHERE THE GOVERNMENT" "CHECKS UP ON ITS CITIZENS." "THERE'SA LOTOF PEOPLE" "WORKING HERE AT THE NSA." "GOOD PEOPLE." "PEOPLE WHO JUST WANT TO KEEP" "AMERICA SAFE." "ONLY PROBLEM IS CHECKING ALL" "THOSE EMAILS, TWITTER ACCOUNTS" "AND SURVEILLING ALL THOSE PHONE" "CALLS CAN TAKE A LOT OF" "MANPOWER." "HEYJOE." "WHAT'CHYOUGOTMILLER?" "GOTA 24-YEAROLDMALEIN" "ALBUQUERQUE." "HE JUST EMAILED HIS WIFE AND" "ASKED IF SHE COULD GO TO THE" "STORE AFTER WORK." "THEN HE CALLED A FITNESS CENTER" "TO SET UP A MEMBERSHIP." "HE LIKED THE FITNESS CENTER SO" "HE TWEETED HIS FRIENDS THAT THEY" "SHOULD TRY IT OUT." "ALRIGHT,KEEPAN EYEONHIM." "LET ME KNOW IF ANYTHING CHANGES." "WILLDO." "IT'SA NEVER-ENDINGGRIND" "HERE AT THE NSA, AND IT SEEMS" "THERE'S NEVER ENOUGH DETECTIVES" "TO KEEP TRACK OF EVERYONE." "SERGEANT!" "WHATHAVEYOUGOT ,LAWSON?" "GOTA 17-YEAR-OLDFEMALEDOWN" "IN JACKSONVILLE." "SHE CALLED HER FRIEND AND ASKED" "IF SHE WANTED TO GO SEE THE" "PERCY JACKSON MOVIE." "THEN SHE EMAILED HER MOM AT WORK" "AT ASKED IF IT WAS OKAY." "THE MOM SAID YES, BUT CALLED HER" "HUSBAND FIRST TO MAKE SURE THERE" "WEREN'T ALREADY DINNER PLANS." "ALRIGHT,KEEPAN EYEONALL" "THREE OF 'EM." "WILLDO." "IFYOUTHINKYOU 'VEGOT THE" "STOMACH FOR IT THEN WE COULD" "DEFINITELY USE YOUR HELP, YOUNG" "MAN." "SIR,YOUMIGHTWANNAGOCHECK" "THIS OUT." "WHATHAVEYOUGOT ?" "32-YEAR-OLDPIZZADELIVERY" "MAN." "HE JUST PUT ON HIS TWITTER" "ACCOUNT THAT HE HATES AMERICA" "AND WANTS TO BLOW UP THE LINCOLN" "MEMORIAL." "4:16PM,THECHIEFASKEDME" "TO JOIN HIM AS HE WENT TO" "QUESTION THE POSSIBLE SUSPECT." "I AGREED TO GO ALONG." "HOPEFULLY THE NSA HAS NO IDEA OF" "MY SECRET INTENTIONS." "WELL,WELLTHENSA ." "I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN." "WEWANTTO TALKTOYOUABOUT" "SOME TWEETS YOU'VE BEEN" "TWEETING." "HEYMANIWAS JUSTBLOWING" "SMOKE." "SAY WHAT RIGHT DOES THE" "GOVERNMENT HAVE READING MY" "PRIVATE EMAILS ANYWAY?" "HAVEN'T YOU SQUARES EVER HEARD" "OF THE CONSTITUTION?" "YEAHWE'VEHEARDOFTHAT ." "WE'VE ALSO HEARD OF THE" "DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE." "SEE, THERE'S A LOT OF PEOPLE OUT" "THERE WHO THINK LIKE YOU." "PEOPLE WHO THINK THEIR" "GOVERNMENT DOESN'T HAVE THE" "RIGHT TO GO AROUND POKING THEIR" "NOSES IN THE EMAILS OF ITS" "CITIZENS " "THAT IS UNTIL A PLANE FLIES INTO" "A COUPLE TOWERS AND A LITTLE" "GIRL LOSES HER LIFE." "YOU WANNA LIVE IN THE LAND OF" "THE FREE AND HOME OF THE BRAVE," "BUT THE BRAVE CAN'T BE FREE IF" "THE LAND ISN'T HOME AND THAT" "LAND WON'T BE HOME SO LONG AS" "FOLKS OUT THERE WANT TO TAKE" "THAT AMERICAN FLAG AND SHOVE IT" "SO FAR UP YOUR ANUS THAT YOU" "CRAP STARS AND STRIPES FOR A" "WEEK AND AS YOUR SITTIN' THERE" "ON THE TOILET WITH THE STAR" "SPANGLED MONTEZUMA'S REVENGE" "THERE'S ONE THING I CAN" "GUARANTEE." "YEAH,WHAT'STHAT?" "YOUWON'TCAREWHO 'SCHECKING" "YOUR TWITTER ACCOUNT THEN." "INEVERTHOUGHTOFITTHAT" "WAY." "I[ BLEEP]JACKLEMMON'S" "MAKEUP GIRL IN A PORTA POTTY." "WHOOPS!" "HELLO,CRAIG!" "HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW THE" "TRUTH?" "THETRUTHABOUTWHAT?" "WE'REJUSTGOIN'THROUGHTHE" "NEIGHBORHOOD AND SEEING IF" "YOU'VE ACCEPTED THE GOVERNMENT" "INTO YOUR HEART." "UHNO,IDON 'TTHINKSO." "YESSIRMY COLLEAGUEAND I" "WE WANT TO SHARE OUR EXPERIENCE" "AT DMV." "WE WENT TO DMV AND WE ADMIT TO" "ALL OUR SHORTCOMING AND SINS AND" "A BIG TIDAL WAVE OF A PEACE AND" "SHERINITY WENT OVER OUR SOUL AND" "TOUCH OUR HEART." "OKAY." "YOUSEECRAIG,ONCEICAME" "CLEAN WITH THE GOVERNMENT, I NO" "LONGER HAD ANYTHING TO HIDE." "THEN I FOUND PEACE." "HAVE YOU READ ANY DMV" "LITERATURE?" "UHHHNO." "WULTHERE'SALOT OF" "INTERESTING STUFF IN HERE CRAIG," "THERE'S EVEN SOME QUOTES FROM" "PRESIDENT OBAMA." "COULD YOU READ THIS PART OUT" "LOUD?" ""YOURLOCALDMVISFUNDEDBY" "YOUR TAX DOLLARS TO BE EFFICIENT" "AND PROFICUOUS."" "YEAH." "WHAT DO YOU THINK PRESIDENT" "OBAMA MEANS WHEN HE SAYS THAT?" "IHAVENO IDEA." "WELL,WEBELIEVETHATHE" "MEANS THE GOVERNMENT LOVES YOU." "AND IT WANTS TO FORGIVE YOU IF" "YOU JUST LET THE GOVERNMENT INTO" "YOUR HEART." "YESSIR,SEEIUSE TOBELIKE" "YOU I GO AROUND SENDING THE" "NASTY EMAIL SEND THE NASTY TEXT" "PUT UP THE NASTY PICTURES ON MY" "NASSY FACEBBOOK." "BUT THEN I REALIZE ALL OF THESE" "THEY LIVE FOREVER BECAUSE" "GOVERNMENT KEEP A FILE ON US." "SO ALL THAT LIVE FOREVER UP IN" "WHAT THEY CALL THE CLOUD." "IF THE GOVERNMENT, SIR, IF THEY" "GONNA PUT THAT FILE IN THE CLOUD" "THEN I WANNA MAKE SURE I COME" "CLEAN ABOUT THE BAD ONES MAYBE" "GET THOSE THINGS OFF MY RECORD" "OFF THE CLOUD." "BECAUSE WE LIVE FOREVER, IN THE" "CLOUD." "UHHUH." "DID YOU FOLLOW ALL THAT CRAIG?" "I DON'T REALLY THINK I FOLLOWED" "ALL THAT." "I'VEDONEIT ." "I'VE INFILTRATED THE NSA AND" "GAINED THEIR TRUST." "SO FAR I HAVE NOT ASCERTAINED" "HOW THEY ARE ABLE TO KEEP TRACK" "OF EVERYONE IN THE COUNTRY." "BUT I'M CLOSE, VERY CLOSE." "I JUST HOPE THAT I'M NOT FOUND" "OUT AS A WHISTLEBLOWER BEFORE" "I'M ABLE TO EXPOSE THEIR ENTIRE" "OPERATION." "WHATISTHATVOICE?" "SOMELITTLEFAGGOTINMY" "HEAD." "HEYSOUM ,AS I'MGOING" "THROUGH PEOPLE'S EMAILS AND" "PHONE CALLS, UM, HOW DO I KNOW" "WHICH PEOPLE TO START WITH?" "PRETTYSIMPLE." "EVERYONE HAS A FILE." "PEOPLE WHO HAVE A STATUS OF" "THREAT, POSSIBLE THREAT OR" "PERSON OF INTEREST ARE THE ONES" "WE REALLY WANT TO LOOK AT." "THEMOREWE PAYATTENTIONTO" "THEM, THE BIGGER THEIR FILE" "BECOMES." "REALLY?" "HOW BIG IS MY FILE?" "HUH?" "UH,THATIS-UH,YOU MUSTHAVE" "A PRETTY BIG FILE ON ERIC" "CARTMAN." "ALL HIS BLOGS AND EMAILS HAVE" "BEEN WATCHED FOR QUITE SOME" "TIME." "JARVIS,WHATHAVEWEGOTON" "AN ERIC CARTMAN." "ANY FILES ON ERIC CARTMAN?" "OHYEAH,WE TRACKEDHIM FOR A" "LITTLE BIT BUT CENTRAL COMPUTER" "DESIGNATED HIS STATUS AND FAT" "AND UNIMPORTANT." "UHTRUSTME ,HE 'SNOTFAT AND" "UNIMPORTANT." "I THINK WE NEED TO CHANGE HIS" "STATUS TO RIPPED AND SWEET." "EXCUSE ME." "EXCUSE ME, THERE IS A VERY" "IMPORTANT THREAT TO NATIONAL" "SECURITY." "WE NEED TO CHANGE ERIC CARTMAN'S" "STATUS." "ANDTHAT'SWHENIMASTURBATED" "TO GAME OF THRONES." "I KNOW IT WAS WRONG TO" "MASTURBATE AND I KNOW IT WAS" "ESPECIALLY WRONG TO MASTURBATE" "WHILE ON DUTY " "WHATTHE" "WHY DO THESE PEOPLE KEEP COMING" "HERE?" "BUTI AMDONEFOREVERWITH" "GAME OF THRONES." "FOREVER!" "NEXTPLEASE!" "THANKYOU!" "YAY!" "CONGRATULATIONS,BROTHER!" "HOW DO YOU FEEL?" "I" "I FEELREALLYGOOD!" "WOW!" "THOSE PEOPLE OVER THERE SEEM" "LIKE THEY'RE HAVING FUN." "I CAN'T THINK OF ANYWHERE I'D" "RATHER BE, THEN AT THE DMV WITH" "ALL YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE!" "NOW LET'S ALL PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE!" "I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE " "TOTHEFLAG!" "OFTHEUNITED" "STATES OF AMERICA " "WHATTHEHELLISGOINGON" "HERE?" "THIS IS THE DMV!" "THERE WILL BE NO JOY HERE!" "UH,PEOPLEKEEPSHOWINGUP" "AND TELLING US WHAT THEY DID" "WRONG." "HEYI 'MJUSTTRYINGTORENEW" "MY LICENSE." "HOW MUCH LONGER I GOTTA WAIT?" "SHUTUP!" "SIT THERE AND WAIT AND NO CEL" "PHONES OR OTHER THINGS THAT PASS" "TIME JOYOUSLY!" "LOOK,I AMTELLINGYOU THAT" "YOU ARE MAKING A HUGE MISTAKE." "ERIC CARTMAN IS THE NSA'S WORST" "NIGHTMARE." "NOTACCORDINGTO THECENTRAL" "COMPUTER." "THECENTRALCOMPUTERIS" "WRONG." "YOU NEED TO CHANGE HIS STATUS." "SORRY,BUTIF CENTRAL" "COMPUTER SAYS HE'S NOT A THREAT" "THEN WE CAN'T DO ANYTHING." "CAN'TDOANYTHING?" "YOU'RE THE NSA." "THERE'S300MILLIONPEOPLE" "OUT THERE." "HOW DO YOU THINK WE'RE ABLE TO" "KEEP TRACK OF EVERY SINGLE" "PERSON IN THIS COUNTRY?" "HOW DO YOU THINK WE'RE ABLE TO" "REALLY KNOW WHO'S DOING WHAT?" "IDON'TKNOW." "ALRIGHT,I 'LLSHOWYOU." "BUT THIS IS VERY TOP SECURITY" "STUFF." "BECAUSE IF PEOPLE KNEW HOW WE" "DID IT, THEN EVERYONE WOULD DO" "IT." "THEN OUR ENEMIES WOULD DO IT." "WE CAN'T LET OUR ENEMIES GET" "THEIR HANDS ON THIS." "GETTHEIRHANDSONWHAT ?" "DUDE." "THISISHOWWEKNOW WHO'SA" "THREAT AND WHO'S NOT." "HOW WE KNOW WHO IS SLEEPING, AND" "WHO'S AWAKE." "HOW WE KNOW " "YOUTHINKI'MFAT AND" "UNIMPORTANT NOW?" "I AM ERIC CARTMAN!" "AND I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU." "THIS IS ALL BEING BROADCAST LIVE" "ON MY TWITTER ZEPPELIN AND ON" "ALEC BALDWIN'S NEW TELEVISION" "SHOW VIA SHITTER!" "HIEVERYBODYANDWELCOMETO" "MY NEW SHOW ON MSNBC, "FREE PASS" "WITH ALEC BALDWIN."" "YOURSECRETIS OUTNSA !" "AND NOW THAT EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT" "YOU'RE DOING TO SANTA YOU CAN" "KISS YOUR PROGRAM GOODBYE!" "YOUSHOULDHAVETAKENMEDOWN" "WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE." "NOW EVERYONE KNOWS THE TRUTH." "AND EVERYONE'S GONNA THINK I'M" "SUPER COOL." "[CRYING]" "ERIC,HONEY,WHAT'STHE" "MATTER?" "ITDIDN'TWORK,MOM ." "I INFILTRATED THE NSA AND I WAS" "A WHISTLEBLOWER AND I THOUGHT" "EVERYONE WOULD BE SUPER PISSED" "OFF AT WHAT I EXPOSED ABOUT THE" "GOVERNMENT, BUT NOBODY CARES!" "NOBODY CARES THAT THE GOVERNMENT" "IS LISTENING IN ON EVERYTHING." "NOBODY CARES THAT SANTA CLAUS" "HOOKED UP TO A BIG HORRIBLE" "MACHINE!" "IKNOWTHATTHE NSA IS" "TORTURING SANTA, SWEETIE, BUT" "THEY'RE KEEPING US SAFE." "[CRYING HARDER]" "NO,NOWYOUJUSTSOUNDLIKE" "EVERYBODY ELSE!" "HON-NEYIT'SOKAY." "IT'SNOTGOINGTOBEOKAY" "BECAUSE NOW I'M A WHISTLEBLOWER" "AGAINST MY COUNTRY AND I'M GONNA" "HAVE TO HIDE OUT IN" "RUSSSIAAAAAA." "NO,YOUDON'THAVETOFLYTO" "RUSSIA HON." "IDOTOO." "NO,IT'LLBE FINE." "HOW ABOUT I MAKE YOU SOME HOT" "TEA WITH LEMON AND CODEINE?" "OKAY." "I JUST WANT HOT TEA AND CODEINE," "NO LEMON." "OKAYHON!" "HELLO." "HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW THE" "TRUTH?" "THE[ BLEEP]AREYOUTALKING" "ABOUT, BUTTERS?" "IT'STIMETO LETGO, ERIC." "DON'T YOU SEE THERE'S NO OTHER" "WAY?" "JUST LET THE GOVERNMENT INTO" "YOUR HEART." "IT'STOOLATEFOR ME," "BUTTERS." "I HAVE TO GO TO RUSSIA AND LIVE" "WITH THE COMMIE DWARVES." "IT'SNEVERTOOLATE." "THERE'S A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN" "START OVER." "WHAT'STHIS?" "YOURGOVERNMENTDOESN'T" "LISTEN IN ON YOU TO PUNISH YOU." "YOUR GOVERNMENT JUST WANTS YOU" "TO BE HONEST ABOUT YOUR" "MISTAKES." "ICANBE FORGIVEN?" "YES." "FOREVERYTHINGBADI'VEEVER" "DONE?" "YES." "ANDTHENALLIHAVE TODO IS" "GO BACK TO THIS PLACE EVERY TIME" "I DO SOMETHING WRONG AND ADMIT" "IT AND I'M FORGIVEN AGAIN?" "THAT'SRIGHT." "THAT'SPRETTYCOOL." "WE'VEGOTANEW MEMBERTODAY!" "ERIC CARTMAN, DO YOU LOVE YOUR" "COUNTRY?" "IDO!" "I LOVE MY COUNTRY!" "DOYOUPLEDGEALLEGIANCETO" "THE FLAG?" "IPLEDGEIT !" "I PLEDGE THAT [BLEEP]" "ALLEGIANCE!" "HALLELUJAH!" "YOUWANTUS TO KICKTHEMOUT" "OF HERE, RICK?" "NO." "NO LEAVE THEM ALONE." "IT'S A NICE CHANGE TO SEE PEOPLE" "HAPPY TO BE AT THE DMV." "PERHAPS WE HERE AT THE DMV CAN" "START CHANGING AS WELL." "PERHAPS INSTEAD OF TREATING" "PEOPLE BADLY, WE CAN OFFER THEM" "COMFORT AND HOPE." "WHY, THE DMV CAN BE A PLACE" "WHERE PEOPLE COME TO GET THINGS" "OFF THEIR CHEST, CONFESS, YES," "BUT ALSO BE TOLD THAT THEY'RE" "WORTH SOMETHING IN THIS WORLD." "AND THEN DMV'S EVERYWHERE CAN" "BECOME A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE FEEL" "SAFE." "AND WHEN THEY DO SOMETHING" "WRONG, WE CAN OFFER FORGIVENESS." "DON'T YOU SEE WHAT THIS COULD" "LEAD TO?" "DON'T YOU SEE WHAT WE COULD" "BECOME?" "THEDMVWASSHUTDOWN TODAY" "AFTER RAMPANT ALLEGATIONS OF SEX" "WITH YOUNG BOYS." "THE HEADS OF THE DMV WERE" "DIRECTED AND THE DIRECTOR SAID" "HEY, IT CAME WITH THE TERRITORY." "WITH THE DVM SHUT DOWN, ALL" "AMERICANS ARE BEING ASKED TO" "CONFESS WRONG DOINGS AT THE POST" "OFFICE." "WITH THE DMV SHUT DOWN," "AMERICANS HAVE BEEN ASKED TO" "CONFESS ALL WRONG-DOINGS AT" "THEIR NEAREST POST OFFICE." "WE'VE JUST RECEIVED WORD THAT" "THE U.S. POSTAL SERVICE HAS BEEN" "SHUT DOWN DUE TO RAMPANT" "ALLEGATIONS OF SEX WITH YOUNG" "BOYS." "IT NOW APPEARS THAT THE ONLY" "PEOPLE WHO CAN BE TRUSTED WITH" "CONFESSIONS AND GUIDANCE IS YOUR" "LOCAL NEWS STATION." "WMZ NEWS WILL BE BACK IN " " A" "YOUNG BOY."