"Hey, give it." "Naoko and Kizuki had been close almost from birth." "Because Kizuki was my best friend, the three of us did things together." "I lost." "I'll pay for the game." "After Kizuki died, there was a vague knot of air inside me." "I wanted to get away from this town." "I wanted to begin a new life where I didn't know a soul, and forget everything." "The chain reaction of unrequited love and its tragic consequences is the core of the story of Andromache." "We want permission to use the remaining time to debate this." "The world is drowning in problems more profound than Greek tragedy." "I can't imagine anything is more profound than Greek tragedy, but suit yourselves." "For a while after I moved to Tokyo, reading was all that mattered to me." "My life felt like it was on hold, as empty as the margins of the books I read so avidly." "That's 1,900 Yen." "Watanabe, it's already 6:30 am." "Instead of staying up all night reading, why don't you go to bed early and just get up and exercise with me?" "Nagasawa." "Is it true you've slept with a hundred girls?" "Don't exaggerate." "More like 70, at the most." "I've only slept with one." "Come with me next time." "Don't worry, it's easy." "I had a definite interest in the strange, complex aspects of Nagasawa's nature, along with his sophistication." "Excuse me." "Life is too short." "Don't waste valuable time reading any book that has not had the baptism of time." "Shall we make a toast?" "He was both a spirit of amazing nobility and an irredeemably materialistic man." "I..." "I was sitting over there." "What are you doing in Tokyo?" "What am I doing?" "Let's walk a little." "Have you been well?" "You don't talk much." "I can't say what I want to say well." "Sorry." "Don't worry." "I don't talk much, either." "Where are we?" "Komagome." "We made this big circle." "You're really tough." "Surprised?" "Yeah." "Can I call you?" "This Saturday?" "Of course." "Every Sunday, we met and walked, walking with no destination in mind." "As if walking were a religious ritual to heal our wounded spirits." "We continued to avoid any mention of the past." "Certainly, Kizuki's name never came up in our conversations." "Can I look?" "You can look." "It's cute." "Ready?" "Oh, sorry." "Wait just a minute." "OK?" "Go ahead." "For you." "For me?" "Right" "Thank you." "You're welcome." "Can I open it?" "Of course." "I don't know." "It's stupid being 20." "I'm just not ready." "It feels weird." "Like somebody's pushing me from behind." "I've got seven months to get ready." "I'll take my time." "You're so lucky, still being 19." "I think that people should just go back and forth between 18 and 19." "Go to 19 when 18 is over, and back to 18 when 19 is over." "That way things would be easier..." "Is this your first time?" "You didn't sleep with Kizuki?" "Why?" "I'm sorry." "I shouldn't have asked." "I'm sorry." "I have to go." "Will you call me again?" "When her apartment manager told me Naoko had moved," "I was stunned." "I wrote her a long letter and sent it to her home in Kobe." "Wherever she was," "I was certain they would forward it to her." "On your birthday," "I probably should not have done what I did." "What I felt for you was something I never experienced before." "I need you to answer me." "At least let me know whether I've hurt you or not." "Watanabe." "Trim your nose hair." "It's really dirty." "You know we're late." "I know." "So what?" "Hurry up." "You're such trouble." "Hatsumi had a pretty good idea that Nagasawa was sleeping around." "But she never complained to him." "She was seriously in love with him, but she never made any demands." "Want to find some girls tonight?" "Sure, let's go get them." "What the hell was that?" "Really?" "Yes, the elbow is the least sensitive part of the body." "Hm, is that so?" "Do your best." "See you someday." "Please forgive me for not answering sooner." "It took me a very long time to be in any condition to write." "For now, I am not prepared to see you." "After I moved out of my apartment," "I came back to my family's house in Kobe and saw a doctor for a while." "He tells me there is a place in the hills outside Kyoto that would be perfect for me, and I'm thinking of spending a little time there." "I feel grateful in my own way for the companionship you gave me." "Please believe that much." "You are not the one who hurt me." "I myself am the one who did that." "This is how I truly feel." " You're Watanabe, right?" " Yeah." "Mind if I sit down?" "Are you expecting someone?" "Nobody's coming, please." "Have we met?" "Euripides." "We just finished class, right?" "Was your hair down to here before summer break?" "But over the summer..." "Let me see your profile." "It looks good on you." "You really think so?" "Yeah." "Hey, you're not a liar, are you?" "I like to think of myself as honest." "Are you suntanned?" "I spent the last couple of weeks hiking around." "Alone?" "Alone." "Do you always travel alone?" "Yes, I do." "You enjoy solitude?" "Nobody likes being alone that much." "I just don't go out of my way to make friends." "It just leads to disappointment." "You can use that line if you ever write your autobiography." "Are you teasing?" "I love the way you talk." "My name's Midori." "Take your sunglasses off." "My eyes are tired today." "Lack of sleep?" "A little." "Sorry I forgot about our lunch." "Did you wait there long?" "It doesn't matter I've got time on my hands." "A lot?" "I wish I could give you some to help you sleep." "That's sweet." "Come in!" "Hello." "Welcome." "Hello." "For you." "Thank you." "I'll water it." "Am I too early?" "It's fine." "Hey, you have a bookshop downstairs." "It's been our bookshop for thousands of years." "I'm glad you're enjoying my cooking." "This is great." "You weren't expecting much, were you, judging from my looks?" "So, your family's out today?" "My mother's in her grave." "My sister's out driving with her fiance." "And then there's my father." "He went to Uruguay in June of last year." " Uruguay?" " Yes." "An old army buddy of his has a farm there." "Suddenly he said he could make it there and took off alone to Uruguay." "I see." "I'm sure losing his wife was a real shock to him." "He told us, "I'm so angry."" ""I would much rather have lost the two of you than her."" "He did?" "We were stupefied, speechless." "Still, it is wonderful for two people to love each other that much." "Have you heard from him?" "One postcard, in March." "But he didn't tell us much." "A postcard of a stupid donkey." "Give me a break!" "I always thought, of course I'd be sad if my parents died or went away." "But when it happened, I felt nothing." "I don't feel sad or feel abandoned or in any pain." "Do you think you weren't loved very much?" "Not enough." "Just once, I wanted to know what it's like to get my fill of love." "What is love to you?" "Let's say, I tell you I want to eat strawberry shortcake, and you drop everything and run out and bur it for me." "And you come back out of breath and give me the strawberry shortcake." "And I say, "I don't want it any more,"" "and I throw it out the window." "That's what I'm looking for." "I'm not sure that has anything to do with love." "It does." "I want the man to say," ""You're right, Midori." "It's my fault."" "I have all the intelligence and sensitivity of a donkey." "To apologise, I'll get you something else." "What would you like?" "Chocolate mousse?" "Cheesecake?" "Then what?" "Then I'll love him." " Tired?" " It's not that." "It's just been a while since I let myself relax completely." "I'm dating someone else." "Somehow, I knew that." "Do you love someone?" "I do." "My doctor says it's time I began having contact with people." "The only face I see is yours." "And there are some things that I need to explain to you." "I can no longer avoid them." "It's almost four months since I came here." "I've thought a lot about you in that time." "I can sense the good feelings you have for me." "They make me very happy." "If I have left a wound inside you, it is not just your wound but mine as well." "If you stay on this road," "Dr Ishida will greet you." "Yes, I see." "Thank you." "You must be Watanabe." "Call me Reiko." "Hello." "Are you Naoko's doctor?" "Naoko's doctor?" "Why?" "He told me Dr Ishida would greet me." "Oh, I see." "I teach music here, so some people call me "Doctor"." "But I'm just another patient here." "I've been here seven rears." "Come in." "What a nice room." "My dorm room only has a ceiling and a window." "I see." "You sleep there, OK?" "Of course." "Naoko and I have to work in the garden." "Do you mind waiting here?" "Not at all." "I'll study my German I have an exam next week." "Also, you're not allowed to be alone with Naoko here." "You always have to be with a chaperone." "That would be me." "You'll just have to put up with it." "That's fine." "I'll be off." "Sure." " Good." " Yeah, this peach is good." "When I said good, I meant how you eat the peach." "What?" "Sleeping?" "No..." "How are you?" "I don't have much time." "I'm not supposed to be here, but I snuck over." "Don't you hate my hair?" "Not at all." "It's really cute." "But my mother said it was awful." "I just had to see you." "I don't have anything special to say, but I wanted to get used to seeing your face." "How long were you here?" "Thank you so much for coming to see me It makes me very happy." "But if being here becomes a burden to you, you shouldn't hesitate to tell me." "I won't be crushed." "I'll tell you honestly." "I have to go." "Watanabe, do you mind taking a little walk?" "Do you love me?" "Yes." "I love you a lot." "Get up." "I want to talk." "You asked me once why I had never slept with Kizuki." "Do you still want to know?" "I probably should know." "I think so, too." "The dead will always be dead, but we have to go on living." "I wanted to sleep with Kizuki." "And he wanted to, too." "So we tried a lot." "But it never worked." "We couldn't do it." "I didn't know why then and I still don't know why." "I loved him." "But it never worked." "I couldn't get wet." "I never opened to him." "It hurt too much." "We tried everything, but it never worked." "So I... used my lips" "and my fingers for him." "I wish" "I didn't have to talk about this." "But I can't help it, I have to talk about it." "I can't figure this out alone." "When I slept with you," "I was really wet, wasn't I?" "Yes." "That evening of my birthday," "I'd been wet since I saw you." "I wanted you to hold me." "I wanted you to take off my clothes and touch me." "I'd never felt like that before." "Why?" "How could that happen?" "I mean," "I really loved Kizuki." "You mean, but not me?" "I'm sorry." "But please understand," "Kizuki and I had a truly special relationship." "We had always been together, from the age of three." "We talked about everything and understood each other." "That's how we grew up." "The first time we kissed, we were in sixth grade." "It was wonderful." "When I had my first period," "I ran to him and cried like a baby." "We were that close." "After he died," "I just didn't know how to relate to other people." "I didn't even know what it means to love someone." "Naoko!" "Time to confess." "What were you two doing?" "Going out at that hour, coming back nearly naked." "I can't tell you." "We did it." "But it didn't work." "What do you mean?" "Watanabe was too big for me." "He didn't fit inside me." "It's been seven years since the last time, so I was all stuffed up." "That was the dream Reiko had, the night before you came." "You dreamed about me?" "It wasn't you, it was just some man." "Don't forget, we, re not normal here." "Apparently not." "Do you want to sleep with me?" "Of course." "Can you wait?" "Of course, I can wait." "Before that time comes, I want to get a little better." "Will you wait for me until then?" "Of course, I'll wait." "Is it hard?" "The soles of my feet?" "Silly you." "If you're asking if I have an erection, of course, I do." "Can you please stop saying of course?" "OK, I'll stop." "Is it difficult?" "What?" "Being hard like that." "What?" "I mean, does it hurt?" "Sometimes it does..." "Shall I help you get rid of it?" "With your hand?" "Right." "It's warm." "You're good at that." "Be a good boy and shut up." "When did you get here?" "A while ago." "Why are you so spaced out?" "I'm a little tired from my trip." "Hey, Watanabe." "Do you have any idea what I want to do, right now?" "No." "I can't imagine." "I want to be lying down on a big, wide, fluffy bed." "You're lying beside me and slowly taking my clothes off." "So tenderly." "I'm spacing out, feeling really nice." "Suddenly I come to my senses and yell, "Stop it, Watanabe!"" "Stop it, Watanabe." "I like you." "But I'm seeing someone else." "I can't do this." "Please stop." "But you don't stop." "Then you show it to me." "Your thing, sticking way up." "That's what you want to do, now?" "That's right." "Do all the guys in here masturbate?" "Probably." "Can you talk more quietly?" "Do they do it, thinking about girls?" "I kind of doubt anybody masturbates thinking about the stock market or the Suez Canal." "Have you ever thought about me?" "Hey, tell me!" "When you weren't at school, you were here." "Yeah." "Whenever I saw you, you looked tired." "I did?" "Why?" "Daddy, it's me, Midori." "How are you?" "Daddy, I have to go and see the nurse." "I'll be right back, OK?" " Can you stay with him?" " Of course." "Hello?" "My father died." "Is there anything I can do?" "I'm fine, thank you." "I just wanted to let you know." "Don't come." "I hate funerals." "I don't want to see you there." "I get it." "Will you take me to a porn film?" "Of course." "A really dirty one." "I'll find a good one for you." "My father should have gone to Uruguay." "You're right." "Would you have come to visit me?" "Of course." "We might have had lots of healthy babies there." "That's not a bad life." "You're so kind." "I'll call you again." "Sure." "What happened to your hand?" "I just got hurt at work." "I see." "I passed..." "The Foreign Ministry exam?" "Congratulations." "You're going abroad, right?" "The first year is training here." "Then I'll be abroad for a while." "What are your plans for Hatsumi?" "You'll be abroad for years." "What will happen to her?" "That's her business, not mine." "What do you mean?" "Look," "I'm not planning to marry anyone and I made that perfectly clear to Hatsumi." "So..." "If Hatsumi wants to marry somebody, she should go ahead." "If she wants to wait for me, she can." "That's what I mean." "You think I'm a shit, don't you?" "Yes." "I'll bring her along next time." "Talk to her, I'm sure you'll like her." "It's a waste of time." "I'm too poor to go out with girls from your school." "Don't be silly." "She's a nice, natural girl." "My school cafeteria has three lunches, A, B and C." "A lunch is 120 Yen, B is 100 Yen, C is 80 Yen." "When I eat the A lunch, everybody gives me dirty looks." "You still think I can talk to her?" "Just meet her." "You don't have to screw her." "I should say not." "You can't do that, she's still a virgin." "Watanabe's in love with a girl." "But he won't say a word about her." "Really?" "But I'm not hiding anything." "It's just that the situation is complicated and hard to talk about." "What a shame, we could have gone on double dates." "We could have got drunk and swapped." " Don't be awful." " Nothing's awful." "Right?" "We swapped girls once." "Watanabe." "Did you?" "Go ahead, tell her." "I'd like to hear that story It sounds very interesting." "We were drunk." "That's all right, I'm not blaming you." "I just want you to tell me the story." "The two of us were drinking in a bar and got friendly with this pair of girls." "They went to a junior college." "They were pretty plastered too." "So anyway, we went to a hote and slept with them." "Nagasawa's room was right next door to mine." "Nagasawa knocked on my door in the middle of the night and said we should exchange girls, so I went to his room, and he went to mine." "Was it fun?" "Not especially." "So why did you do that?" "I suggested it." "I'm asking Watanabe." "Why did you do that?" "Sometimes, I really want to sleep with a girl." "You know, Watanabe..." "I don't know how complicated it is, but that kind of behaviour isn't of your style." "It isn't right for you." "What do you think?" "I feel that way too sometimes." "So why don't you stop?" "Let me summarize." "Watanabe's got this girl he likes, but can't get any because of complications." "So he tells himself sex is sex and satisfies his needs elsewhere." "But if you really love her, shouldn't you be able to control yourself?" "Maybe so." "It's just a game." "Doesn't even count as cheating Nobody gets hurt." "I get hurt." "Why am I not enough for you?" "It's not that you're not enough for me." "Hey." "What do you think about Nagasawa and me?" "It doesn't matter what I think." "It's all right." "Tell me exactly what you think." "If I were you, I'd leave him." "The way he lives, it never crosses his mind to make himself happy, or to make others happy." "You seem like you could be happy with just about anyone." "How did you end up with Nagasawa of all people?" "Things like that just happen." "There's not much you can do about it." "You love him that much?" "I do." "It must be wonderful, to be so sure you love someone." "After Nagasawa was posted to Germany," "Hatsumi married some man." "Then, two years later, she slit her wrists with a razor and died." "Sorry about the other night." "Never mind." "I made up with Hatsumi." "I'm not surprised." "She told me you told her to leave me." "Isn't that what you wanted me to tell her?" "Phone for you, Watanabe." "Excuse me." "Sorry I'm late." "What are you drinking?" "A Tom Collins." "A whiskey and soda." "What happened?" "I hurt myself at work." " Where were you?" " Nara and Aomori." "Had a hard time with the funeral?" "No, we're used to them." "My sister and I have worked so hard, we decided to do whatever we wanted." "I decided I'd take my boyfriend to Nara and screw like crazy." "So, did you screw like crazy?" "No, not even once." "My period started the minute we got to our hotel room." "It's not funny I was a whole week early." "It was pathetic." "Both he and I had been about to explode." "So we had a big fight and I haven't seen him since." "I came back to Tokyo and then went to Aomori." "Have you ever been?" "Never." "And, you know, while I was travelling by myself, I kept thinking about you," "wishing that you were beside me." "How come?" "What do you mean, how come?" "How come you were thinking about me?" "Because I like you." "Why else?" "What other reason is there?" "But you've got a boyfriend." "You don't have to think about me." "Don't be so mean." "Watanabe, do you know what I want to do now?" "Come on." "Remember where we are." "I never dreamed you'd answer me like that." "Midori, answer the phone!" "It's fine." "Are you seeing someone in Tokyo?" "No." "If you do, please tell me." "Of course." "Oh, look." "But Reiko still doesn't eat much, just smokes one cigarette after another." "There isn't much gardening to do at this time of year." "The birds and rabbits are doing fine." "We hunt for mushrooms and pick chestnuts to eat." "Every day, it's rice with chestnuts or mushrooms, but it's so delicious, I never tire of it." "I get confused by most things that come from the outside." "But your descriptions of the world around you give me wonderful relief." "It's so strange." "I wonder why." "Midori sounds like an interesting person." "Reading your letter," "I got the feeling she might be in love with you." "Happy birthday." "I hope you have a happy year, being 20 years old." "My own year of being 20 will probably end miserably." "I hope you can be happy enough for me, too." "Reiko and I knitted this scarf together." "The good half is Reiko's, the bad half is mine." "Will you come and see me, when it starts to snow?" "No..." "I can't..." "Please stop." "Please." "Why do you care for me?" "You shouldn't be involved with me, you should live your own life." "But you're..." "You're wrong." "That's not what I think." "Don't you think you're lying to yourself?" "Leave me alone." "It's what you should have done on my birthday." "Don't touch me!" "You are crazy!" "Don't touch me!" "Calm down." "Go away!" "Don't touch me!" "Calm down." "Your presence is painful!" "Why don't you understand?" "Naoko, calm down!" "I'm thinking of leaving the dorm and finding an apartment." "If I get more part-time work, I can cover my expenses." "How would you like to live with me?" "Thank you." "It makes me so happy that you asked me that." "This isn't somewhere you should star too long." "Think it over." "I'm moving as soon as possible, anyway." "Any time you want to join me, you can." "Why can't I get wet?" "It only happened that once." "Why can't I?" "It's only psychological." "Give it time." "Don't worry about it." "What if..." "I never get wet again, and can't ever have sex?" "Would you still be able to love me?" "At heart," "I'm an optimistic person." "I'll come back to see you after I've moved." "Think it over, OK?" "See you." "I thought I'd get out of here before you." "Mind if I give you a piece of advice?" "Sure." "Don't feel sorry for yourself." "Only degenerates feel sorry for themselves." "I'll keep it in mind." "It must have been difficult for you too, waiting for her letter." "But this month has been just as difficult for Naoko." "She has slowly started hearing voices again." "She has trouble just having ordinary conversations now." "She doesn't want to see you in her current state." "Hey." "I want to talk to you." "I have plans." "It won't take long Just five minutes." "I don't want to talk to you, sorry." "To tell you the truth, it's getting increasingly difficult to control Naoko." "I have to watch her constantly." "The voices she's hearing are getting worse." "She's shutting out the whole world, going deep inside herself." "Kizuki." "Naoko!" "Hey, Kizuki." "Unlike you, I've chosen to live." "And to live the best way I can." "I'm sure it was hard for you." "But it's hard for me, too." "Because you killed yourself, leaving Naoko behind." "But I will never abandon her." "The reason is, I love her." "I'm going to grow stronger." "I'm going to grow up." "Let's go." "I talked with him after I saw you at the bar that night, and I broke up with him." "I like you." "From the bottom of my heart." "But there's nothing I can do right now." "Because of her?" "Yes." "Tell me." "Have you slept with her?" "Just once, last year." "Haven't you seen her since?" "I saw her twice." "But we didn't do anything." "Why not?" "Isn't she in love with you?" "That's hard to say." "It's really complicated." "What I do know is I have a certain responsibility which I can't just abandon." "Even if she isn't in love with me." "Even if she isn't in love with you?" "I need time." "I am sorry, but that's all I can say now." "All right." "I'll wait." "Because I trust you." "But when you take me, take only me." "When you hold me, think only about me." "Do you understand me?" "Very well." "And... you can do whatever you want to me, but don't hurt me." "I've already been hurt enough in my life." "I don't want to be hurt any more." "I want to be happy." "Hold me." "Naoko died." "Nothing can heal the loss of a beloved." "No truth, no sincerity, no strength, no kindness can heal that sorrow." "All we can do is live through the sorrow and learn something from it." "But whatever we learn will be of no help in facing the next sorrow to come along." "You were planning to live with Naoko here." "I need to wash up." "Please remember me forever." "Please always remember that I existed and was here by your side." "Will you promise?" "I promise I'll always remember." "What are your plans?" "I'm going to Asahikawa." "A friend from college runs a music school there." "Aren't you going to see your husband and daughter?" "Hey, Watanabe." "Do people fall in love in Asahikawa?" "Of course, there's no question." "You should fall in love again." "Can I ask you for something?" "Yes, of course." "Sleep with me." "Are you serious?" "Yes, I think we should." "I'll go take a shower." "Are you really serious?" "I've got back what I lost seven years ago." "Thank you." "You don't need to walk me to the station, I'm fine." "No, I want to." "I'm fine here." "Asahikawa is a nice town." "I'll visit you some day." "Please be happy." "For me and Naoko, too." "Hello?" "It's me, Midori." "Midori." "I want to see you and talk to you." "I want to start all over with you." "There's nothing I want, other than you." "I love you." "Where are you now?" "What?" "Where are you now?" "I wonder where I am now." "With each passing season," "I grow farther away from the dead." "Kizuki remains 17." "Naoko remains 21." "For eternity." "English subtitles by Linda Hoaglund"