"It seems like only yesterday the party would go on forever but in just 12 short months, the place known as americas spring break capital has become a virtual ghost town" "who can forget the devastating attack on lake victoria, that left scores of people dead, and a community in shock and who could have guessed that this hell on earth would be rocked by a species of Piranha believed extinct for the last 2 million years" "a massive eradication program has left these waters teeming with life silent and dead after a massive exous that left most property abandoned the local econemy fell into ruin lake victoria is now a quarantine area only weeds grow on the beaches where thousands once soaked up the sun" "and the only boats that remain, are dusty relics littering the shoreline as we look back on the anniversary of this tragic event were left to wonder, if it happened here can it happen again." "and if so, where?" "" "Sarah" " Sarah... hollering aint gonna do you a damn bit of good" "i got my foot stuck in a rut" "there she is right there is she dead?" "thats a big old cow aint it... yeah she took second place at county last year" "what the hell..." "theres somethin laying on her belly shine the light on the belly see whats going on" "theres something in there... holy flying babyshit damn piece of crap i think i got a lighter" "that smell would knock a buzzard off a dump truck" "fudge, thats the gassiest damn cow i ever seen" "ahh... shit shit shit" "Carl" "carl, get away" "" "hey, its time to get wet again comeon down. our lifeguards are hot, single, and ready to party with someone like you so if you wanna cool off, comeon down to the hottest hole in town" "3 words for you... the big wet and remember, double D swims free" "oh boy, hold on... cut it" "hey hi ive got to cut something off at the pass here you go, keep them wet and are you guys friends of someone?" "Maddie... get over here and give your step dad a hug" "Chet, tell me you did not fire our old lifeguards and replace them with... strippers water certified strippers... really..." "more than that pumpkin unbelievable. listen, before your sweet momma died, god rest her soul she made me promise her to keep this waterpark running and im just gonna make sure that i provide for you aswell as she did" "im your daddy now were so lucky to have each other wow ched, sometimes i really think you beleive whats comign out of your mouth baby doll you are gonna love this... adult pool, go ahead" "we are gonna make bank on this" "what do you think?" "i think this is a very expensive joke worlds first strip bar at a waterpark thats a stroke of genious, franchising baby no no no no, oh dont worry about that install a little extra chlorine and sulphuric acid in the pool it sanitises everything" "hey kiki why dont you get your shapely ass out of the pool" "russian..shes a doctor now keep your eyes over there, on the flat screen T.V i call this the cooch cam..." "but im open to suggestions check it out thats disgusting.-do not touch it - im getting rid of it thats not your call dont you forget that im still half owner of this place ohh... is that right?" "raise your hand if you own 51 %... of this... waterpark now raise your hand if you have 49 % minority on it... thats you" "hey hey maddie how are you... whats new?" "well, this is the summer. shall we finally abstain from abstinence shes afraid to have sex because her cousin gave birth to a flipper baby stop it that didnt happen here he comes here he comes the boy whos going to pop her cherry" "he just doesnt know it yet hey maddie what do you think of all the new changes around here?" "Josh, meet me at the lake alright, see yah, cool what am i?" "the last guy to know your back?" " hi... how are you?" "... i missed you oh me too. bet you wish you were still in grad school for the summer huh?" "i cant believe what cheds done ...i know this place is everything to me working here... hanging out." "i know i miss those moments too so look, now that your back... hey you guys, are you sure thats such a good idea?" "there better not be any underage drinking going on here here you go pal come on man im on duty cant be drinking you got fireworks... indecent exposure... probable drugs... definite drugs" "i might just have to write you up" "i dont see what he has, that i dont have... 6 inches and a badge?" "i heard you were back in town, so i figured id stop by and say hey and i feel i should say something about the last time we talked no, you dont have to long distance relationships..." "there weird your back now" " for the summer should be an interesting summer" "i..ahh..im still on duty so... ok - welcome back" "i had fun at the party tonight." " yeah me too i love the water its uhh... really wet" "what are you thinking about?" "nothing much hey, lets take off all our clothes and go swimming uhh... ok cool, sure" "turn around..." "Shelby?" "Shelby?" "Shelby!" "you coming in or what?" "yeah im coming" "no funny stuff ok" "you want some of this... you want some?" "your not supposed to splash me back" "what?" "...i just felt something against me is that you?" "what are you talking about?" "ow, what are you doing?" "i didnt..." "well whatever it is, i dont like it i didnt do anything shelby, where are you going?" "im cold im getting out" "you have to do it ok fine" "dear lord come on ok. dear lord please forgive us for what we are about to do we both know that having relations before marriage is a sin, but" "we know that we will be forgiven for it because... were praying about it" " Amen." " Amen." "you can fuck me now - amen ohh look at this" "you like that?" "mine... aha, dont make me cuff the other 1" "were moving travis..." "i know." "no, look you idiot" "Ashley, are you ok?" "the waters coming in, shit give me the key for the cuff ugh, it must have fallen out find it now where is it... shit shit shit damn it" "key for the damn cuff... i should go for help no." " i cant see anything im sorry" " Ashley!" "hit the light and keep looking" "im scared... what are you doing?" "get over here" "Ashley." "im gonna get some help get back here what are you doing?" "Ashley!" "Travis!" "Travis!" "Travis!" "theres something in the water help... anybody... ashley" "Ashley!" "travis... come on are you there?" "Travis!" "Travis!" "Travis!" "Travis!" "Ashley!" "oh my god oh my... help please, is anybody out there anybody... im sorry i just..." "no its cool i dont mind hanging out oh no its not you, its just that... do you think ashleys prettier than me?" "no most guys do yeah well i..ive never been into girl with big breasts" "welcome back maddie" "Dave." "yoh man, what the fuck you doing?" "the hole where the water comes out... oh god man shes so wet... hey shelby have you seen ashley or travis?" "neither one of them punched in this morning no, i havent seen either of them i dont know." "just a sec you ok?" "i just feel a little weird here let me help you no im fine" "you ok?" "look who has morning sickness nice work papa" "nobody was inside shel im sure there fine probably just shaken up and scared there gonna get in trouble" "comeon ash pick up hey... its ash leave a message shit call me is there anywhere else they might have gone?" "no, umm im just gonna go" "Ashleys my best friend i mean... i know shes kind of a slut she stole one of my ex boyfriends, and" "im pretty sure she stole a pair of ear rings my grandmother gave me before she died but... we were like sisters" "what is that?" "Oh my god we have to get off this thing right now. hurry" "come on Shelby." "quick comeon ive got you" "quickly lets go, were almost there" "careful" "no no no come back Shelby." "come here come this way quick your going to have to jump" "Come on you have to jump i cant jump from here quit it lets go" "ive got you" "what is this thing" "Maddie... what the fuck is that?" "oh shit" "is that a fucking Piranha?" "my father worked construction on carson dam they found fossils like this when they first broke ground he gave me this on my 8th birthday im telling you man, it was a Piranha howd it get from lake victoria to our lake?" "thats what weve got to find out" "what?" "look at us the cop and the marine biologist im sorry, it just sounds like a shitty sitcom the cop and the marine biologist" "your still wet a little yeah" "will you ask coony to open the door" "Kyle, open the door yoh man" "thats funny, dick" "who are you?" "why are you here?" "im sorry, we saw you on youtube... you and 11 million 486 other people i have 700 more hits than the laughing diarrhea baby we need your expertees mr goodman" "why?" "we think there back... false lake isnt even connected to lake Victoria the piranha must be migrating through underground lakes and rivers ive studied this specimen for almost a year" "i think you might find this interesting can i get some help here" "ok this is galvanised steel like ordinary household plumbing there we go aha, now for some incentive" "no no no, not the frog sorry they sold out of puppys this morning" "now, i think this is quite resourceful, watch" "now its got something to grab" "its a frog" "Barry, are you crazy?" "you almost lost a hand i had a pet frog once" "uhh can you give me...?" "really?" "now to check on some data - what were you thinking?" "these Piranha spent eons living in underground lakes full of sulphur dioxide from all the geo thermal activity thats how they come back to spawn they followed the wrong lake somehow?" " yes problem is sulphur dioxide is probably released during the treatment of chlorinated water so its conceivable that the fish could become confused and try to enter man made drainage systems" "especially with an abundance of backyard pools our waterpark drains directly into false lake. thats the equivalent of like a thousand swimming pools that would be a very bad thing did you tell anyone that this could happen?" "i tried, unfortunately i lost some credibility after my last book that foretold plague of dreadful walking fish oh thats right you wrote the fish walk among us i love that book its really great why thank you kindred spirit" "thanks" "Barry." "you ah... you read a marine biology book?" "i wanted to see what you were so interested in" "look guys, we have to check the drains and the outflow pipe into the lake tonight i can get a dive team up here from tempy by tomorrow no its too late, the waterpark opens tomorrow, that place is going to be packed" "if the fish are gettign through the drain system that would make lake victoria look like an appetizer guys weve got to get out there right now thankyou so much for your help mr Goodman." "oh thank you thank you sir, an honour be well, alright" "aha... 11 million 888 hits take that laughing diarrhea baby" "2 local teens, ashley sorby and travis mitchell were reported missing this morning after there van was pulled out of cross lake thanks for letting me stay here its totally cool how you feeling?" "a little better you dont seem any better hey what is it?" "just the stress of the whole ashley thing" "make love to me please... right now?" "please josh i think something is really wrong with me" "if i dont get better, i dont want to die a virgin" "please josh, i want it to be with you" "cum inside me cum inside me, ill do whatever you say after that" "the outflow pipe leads directly to the waterpark, ive got to check them out you considered how bat shit crazy this is right?" "i got to take a look, ill be quick umm, look, about what i was trying to say last night... are you coming in?" "cos i could really use a spotter i mean... if your... its ok no no no, im not scared its just umm, cant swim you work at a waterpark and you cant swim?" "ding ding. what about all the beach partys in high school the partys at the park... never?" "oh my god barry, i totally would have taught you how to swim yeah i know, you seemed kind of busy at the time" "not a big deal." "toss me that flashlight yes i know thats what i said alright ill find you" "are you sure you want to do this?" "... no" "you uhh..you let her go in there alone?" "fuck off Kyle!" "oh yes..." "Barry cant swim" "Maddie..." " Maddie!" "swim Maddie" "get out of the way, get back" "are you ok?" "i think so" "dont worry, i wont break" "im sorry." "its ok, its ok its good, go on oh god shelby, look at me" "" "somethings wrong no somethings wrong - almost there" "what the fuck is on my dick... ohh... oh my god" "Josh!" "im feeling a little better now" "Josh, Josh." "Josh." "i think i had an accident" "Josh." "josh what are you doing?" "oh my god" "Josh." "Josh." "Josh!" "Josh!" "what the hell did you do to me?" "ohh... you almost going 70 back there buddy dont you have somewhere else better to be, like boning my step daughter?" "ill get to that, first things first" "your all good, for now oh your looking for a raise?" "with any luck, your little theme parks going to take off and i wont have to live off a deputys salary forever so, we good here?" "yeah, did you check those airflow pipes at the lake?" "Maddie did." "nearly got herself killed what about the grates..." "they still intact?" "should be good, unless theres another way into the park?" "like that bootleg well you drilled - dont you worry about that i do worry ched im the one protecting your unlaweful ass let me tell you something." "why dont you worry about keeping maddie and johny law off my ass alright ill take care of my waterpark have a nice night deputy you too ched ohh by the way..." "what in the hells this?" "i told you, you were speeding - are you shittin me?" "just doing my job weird crooked cop" "what a night huh... do umm... you and kyle, you guys getting back together or... no definetly not i dont think so, probably not you showed real decisiveness on that one, you know that right?" "i kinda did, didnt i" "Josh cut off his penis because somethig came out of my vagina should be coming to shortly, so the nurse is going to take you guys back there" "you guys can probably go." "josh is still sedated and im going to stick around to get a statement ill let you guys know if i find anything out ok hows shelby?" "shes not making a whole lot of sense right now but ill keep an eye on her too how about you?" "you alright?" "im pretty tired." "get some rest and ill call you" "aww that is so sad come to bed hoffy, its nappy time" "im rochelle im dawn right" "yeah lets party" "welcome to Rock Bottom." "wait" "i dont know if i can do this all you got to do is baby steps just little baby steps what the hell you talking about baby steps for?" "incase you havent noticed, fish ate my damn legs i hate the water, i hate it remember what dr smith said, this is all about our road to recovery well start out with a harmeless little kiddy pool" " whats the worst that can happen?" "couple of kids wizzin thats all kids wizzin?" "i can handle that" "im not afraid of some punk ass water im not afraid of some punk ass water" "i cant dont worry about it, we'll figure out somethig else no its weak, dump me in the water" "what?" "you heard what i said... get behind the chair, grab the handles, and dump my sorry ass in the water the way parents toss their kids into the pool when they want them to swim isnt a bad idea." "ok i can do this 1... 2..." "stop ok right what happened?" "whyd you stop?" "you said to stop..." "no dont listen to my pussy ass mouth no matter what i say, dump me in the water ok got it. not going to listen to your pussy ass mouth i mean, you dont have a pussy ass mouth, im just saying... dump me in the water" "ok here we go, 1... 2...3 aww shit no no, i changed my mind no no no, your going in." " i changed my mind, i dont want to go in the water your going in." " no i dont want to go in your going in hey, leave him alone." "no he wants to go in no the hell i do, i dont want to go in whats wrong with you?" "dont push that poor legless stump into the pool whats wrong with you?" "dont push that poor legless stump into the pool yeah thast right, dont dump this poor legless stump in the pool ok you know what..." "your going to go into the water no i dont want to go" "not cool man." "im not afraid of some punk ass water not cool at all" "ladys and gentlemen, boys and girls hot moms of all ages." "welcome to the big wet" "and now, the moment youve all been waiting for they most famous lifeguard of all time who wants to party with the hoff?" "welcome" "David Hasselhoff." "there he is david hasselhoff - ladies ladies, if you play your cards right you might get some private mouth to mouth resuscitation alright, without any further adieu lets all get wet... and... wild" "i knew it what are you doing back here maddie?" "i saw this when i was taking inventory but didnt think to ask why it was here ...untill now we pump our own water now, fuck the utilities right... you cant fill this waterpark off a well its not a standard well" "we drilled down a whole lot further, hit an underwater lake we got enough water to last us till kingdom come you have no idea what youve done - oh sure i do i got us a nice fat profit" "you dont understand..." "you could be pumping piranha straight through the intake pipes" "Maddy, hôm nay là ngày khai truong." "maddie its opening day, i have shelled out 100 thousand dollars and you want me to close shop because there might be piranha in the pipe?" "what else?" "ghosts... boogeyman..." "sharks... snakes your laughable, laughable come on kid youve been watching too many movies little girl. you should read romance novels" "are we done?" "i got work to do" "mommy i got bit let me see oh honey you just scraped yourself on something, go tell a lifeguard hell get you a bandaid no mom it was a piranha - it was not piranha there are too many people talking about piranh, now scoot" "hello... hello hey - hey i got bit y a piranha whats your name kid?" " David." "David." "thats pretty cool, that my name too David." "what... whats this?" "its an autograph - can i just have a bandaid?" "wait a minute, you dont know who i am?" "... no you never saw baywatch?" "running in slow motion... how about night rider?" "the talking car... anaconda 3, jekyll and hyde on broadway mr Hasselhoff. hey back off toro im talking to my main man here huh you really have no idea who i am?" "yeah... your a lifeguard and i need a bandaid can i get a bandaid for my main man david here please" "spongebob... im just going to get a bandaid somewhere else im a lifeguard" "i saw a fish in the splash pool, i know this is crazy but it was a piranha like the ones on the news i swear to god hey... everyone out of the pool you have to get them out of the pool right now" "hey... no running" "game over ched, we gotta shut the waterfront down right now what part of no fucking way dont you hear?" "a woman saw a piranha in the splash pool did you see it?" "did you see it... no but..." "youve got nothing thats what but im evacuating this waterfront weather you like it or not" "Maddie maddie maddie cheds right, your just going to cause more panic im sorry... whos side are you on?" "im on the side of being calm, now lets just go check things out ok you dont believe me, im the one who called you, and you dont fucking believe me come on kids get out of the pool, please get out of the water" "i cant... i cant let you do that let go of me..." "what the fuck you doing?" "let her go what you going to do shark boy, huh?" "pump me with your fucking trident im going to give you a little piece of advice buddy, your going to need a bigger one" "come on, go can you believe it?" "there back." "they find you, they always find you no matter where you go" "bring me my legs" "titanium mother fuckers eat this" "i hate the water, i hate the fish help me, help" "hey people are dying, your a lifeguard, do something im not a lifeguard, never was one help me help me lifeguard... theres still kids going down slides." "once these idiots get out of the water its not as if the fish are going to follow them home help me" "you went back in the water... you little ginger mong." "mitch, your a lifeguard mitch" "holy fuck im getting old" "i made a rescue i actually made a rescue" "can you put me down now..." "Ched" "Ched you see them, do you seem them now?" "we got to drain the pools" "Barry, Barry." "i need you to go to the pump house and force drain the pool its easy, your leavers are down, you push them straight up ok ok got it i want you to know whatever happens, ive loved you since 7th grade" "i always will i thought you were gay?" "i gotta get out of here, its not my fault what the fuck... get off me" "hey no come over here please man look at my ass holy shit - whatever it is, just get it out ok this is gonna hurt alright, you ready?" "1... 2... ahh fuck - comeon we got to get to the pump" "sorry kid its not my fault" "ok listen to me, i need you to get all the first aid supplies and bring them outside you got it?" "... go i need first aid fuck" "Maddie come here, help me i didnt know, i promise you i didnt know what are you talking about?" "the well ched promised me 35 % of the profits if i turned a blind eye." "just help me, get me out of here i didnt know that..." "kyle please please just help me help me i cant do this" "no no no dont... please help me wheres maddie?" "shes gone, i couldnt save her" "Maddie" "be a man kyle, be a man be a man kyle" "this was a bad idea" "Barry." "save her life kyle save her life being a hero" "i got you, oh my god get out of the pool" "Maddie" "Maddie" "Maddie" "nobody munches on daves ass bitch adios bastardos" "how the hell did you buy that shotgun leg?" "with the money i saved on socks hello..." "maddie your not going to believe this i was right there elvolving, there learning to walk" "yeah, i know" "David!" "David, get away from that thing mom its ok, there slow on land" "oh my god, somebody little... ginger... moron"