"I can't see, could you sit down for a moment?" "How are you doing?" "I'll be right back." "Mrs Miller's husband is Victoria's new French teacher." "Well!" "I leave you with Victor Allen." "Mr Valette would like to get me a job at the French Embassy." "How long have you been living in the island?" "My whole life." "I'm the oldest French man in Jersey." "I was told that you were a perfumer." "Yes, from father to son." "A little traditional firm." "Reputable?" "Quite well." "May I?" "I didn't have the time to introduce her, she's my wife." "I'd like to visit your perfumery." "See you later." "Good bye." "When will you take a look at my cuttings?" "Tomorrow, Doctor." "Between 1:00 PM and..." "She exhausted me!" "Really?" "I wanted to tell you... my company asked me to stay in Jersey one more week." "I'll be able to give you your kind invitations back." "And it's nice of you to allow me to go out with your wife." "I know a lot of husbands who could beat you up for less than that." "You're very cool!" "Thank you." "You know, I never "beat someone up", as you say." "If I really don't like somebody, I kill him." "Did you hear about Malcolm McRae?" "You know, the Malcolm McRae's mystery." "Yes, he was a friend of yours?" "Of my wife's." "I don't think it's funny!" "The murderer has never been found." "Between you and me... if I killed him, it's not really because of Melanie." "Just because he was vulgar." "You're lying." "Of course" "I think Melanie is looking for you." "This isn't funny." "You've already told me that." "But you're wrong: this is funny." "How are you?" "Fine" "And Marion?" "Very well" "What did the teacher's wife want?" "Who?" "I hope your friend enjoyed the evening." "Does he intend to settle in Jersey?" "No, I think he'll leave soon." "Marie, the Millers are leaving." "Can we go home?" "I'm tired." "What did you say to Joel?" "To Joel?" "I saw you talked to him." "Did you?" "Then he was odd." "What do you mean?" "He was just odd." "You found Mrs Miller charming." "So you saw me?" "And your teeth?" "And your pee?" " Tomorrow..." "Am I singing off-key?" "You're singing off-key." "Mum is sleeping." "Breakfast is burning." "We're very late." "And five: you give me the towel." "Judith says that her father says that when the news..." "When the news say that it won't rain, it actually rains." "And I say that it won't rain." "This morning there are hot and fresh croissants." "That's nice!" "I'm late, I go to the perfumery." "Would you come by the butcher's on the way home?" "A roast for four people." " For four people?" "We'll have a guest." "What a face!" "Wait, let me guess." "It's... it's..." "It's Joel!" "Great!" "you're beautiful." "Good evening!" "So, you're cooking?" "Red-handed!" "Help yourself, I'm coming." "Yes, but quickly, I'm in a hurry." "Don't you stay for dinner?" "No, I can't." "I must tell you:" "I'm leaving tomorrow." "But yesterday, you told me..." " Yes, but they changed everything." "They put me back at the central office." "So I must leave by tomorrow." "Oh!" "We're so sorry you're leaving." "All the more reason to stay for dinner." "She's right!" "All the more reason." "No, I'm sorry, this is impossible." "If you come to Paris, call me occasionally." "See you!" "Yes" "You won!" "What did you say to him?" "Tell me." "What, darling?" "What about inviting Ralph?" "You really don't want to get bored, tonight." "I'm sick of this music!" "I think Melanie wants to dance." "I'm sorry." "You're not." "Then don't tell her so." "Do you intend to stay here all night?" "Frankly, I chose the English beginning, but I don't cope with it very well." "Don't you play anymore?" "I won." "Another drink?" "Thank you." "Not too much." "Aren't you trying to make me drunk?" "Yes." "Do you want to read, children?" "I think I'll read a little." "Mom!" "I can't sleep with all that racket!" "No, I didn't notice anything." "And you?" "Sorry, honey." "Go back to bed." "I haven't seen you for while." "Did you bring me a present?" "It will be for the next time!" "With him, it's always for the next time." "Go back to bed, honey." "Do you like Ralph?" " Yes." "I prefer Malcolm." "Of course, he always gives you some presents." "You're the most venal woman I've ever known." "Dad, are you jealous?" "You don't have to, you know." "You're the one I prefer the most." "Thank you, I'm relieved." "Now you sleep." "And my bedtime story?" "In these days, the Princess had a dog and four uncles who were kings." "The first was called Aligoté." "He was the king of Zambèze and the surroundings." "Do you want something to drink?" "No thank you, I was about to leave." " It's very late, isn't it?" " No, it's very early." "Almost time for breakfast." "You can't leave us like that." "Who wants scrambled eggs?" " Me." "Did you sleep well?" " Very well, however the sailor doesn't seem to be in good shape." "If you want my opinion, he's a weakling." "Have a taste of these eggs, they're really good!" "I'm not hungry any more." "Well, if you want to dance all night long, you need proteins." "Whom will have this one?" "For Ralph?" "The skilled dancer..." "The great sailor..." "The lousy drinker." "Bye!" "I'm going to bed." "What is it?" "!" "How do you feel?" "I'm a bit worried." "I feel seasick." "You're a good guy." "How good you are!" "You should have thrown me out for a long time." "We're not in 19th century any more." "And, when people annoy me," "I don't throw them out." "When they annoy me about Melanie, I just kill them." "You're totally right!" "I want to keep Melanie and you as friends." "I like you." "See, Malcolm McRae, for example..." "I killed him." "Malcolm..." "It was you?" " It was me." "With a hammer." "In his apartment." " With a hammer?" "Yes." "Between you and me... he had sex with Melanie, you understand?" "Does she know that?" " Nobody knows." "Don't tell Melanie, all right?" "I have to leave." "Do you want me to walk you home?" " No, no." "You're too good." "Thank you for everything." " No problem at all." "Did he leave?" " Yes." "You were very good." "I had the feeling you thought I was ill-bred." "You never seem ill-bred." "Good evening." "Do you know people talk a lot about you?" "About me?" "About your murder." "Our smart captain told all the people on the harbor." "Melanie will lack a faithful servant." "My dear Vic, I think I won't entrust my hydrangeas to you!" "What do you think, mister Valette?" " Dear doctor," "I have the same concerns." "You know what?" "The shit's gonna hit the fan." "Go and see what's wrong." "Did Ralph really believe that I killed Malcolm?" "Of course not!" "Didn't he think it was funny?" "What's so funny about that?" "It's funny when I tell it." "I dreamt about you last night." "You were dancing in a garden with a very smart young man and... not vulgar at all." "Melanie..." "There's no need to cry." "Are Joel or Ralph worthy of these eyes' tears?" "I'm not crying because of them." "Because of me?" "Because of us." "Do you have my Pilote?" "The Princess' newspaper hasn't arrived yet." "I'm not a princess, because when a princess wants a dog, she gets a dog." ""Malcolm McRae's murderer has been arrested. "" "The weather is fine, when will we go for a picnic on the cliff?" "Daddy, are you deaf?" "See you tonight, behave yourself!" "Malcolm's murderer has been found." " Really?" "Aren't you happy?" "You read the article while I'm having a bath." "Miller always said that you were the murderer!" "Miller?" "Why?" "I think he is a little bit jealous of you." "Because of you?" "Or because of you?" "Hello Henry." "Congratulate on what?" "I didn't arrest him." "All the better." "Bye bye!" "Who was it?" " The Consulate." "They're reassured." "Do you learn it by heart?" " No, I'm reading something else." "Are you going out?" " Yes." "I'll have lunch with Evelyne and then I'll go to the library." "Is it enough for you or do you want more details?" "I want to go to the factory on foot." " Could you pick me up there at the end of the day?" " Of course." "Let me introduce Carlo Canneli." "Carlo, this is my husband." "Nice to meet you." "Carlo is a pianist." "He plays at the Grand Hotel's bar." "Then they may be looking for you at this time." "No, Monday is my day of rest." "Like hairdressers." "You know what?" "I'll start learning piano again." "Carlo will teach me in the afternoons." "Really?" " Want us to take you back?" "Are you pleased with yourself?" "Your "zombie trick" at the Grand Hotel..." "Didn't you have any other idea?" "Sir, grandson of the Fish, great-nephew of the Slug, would you grant me an encounter?" "See?" "You can't put up with me having fun." "Neither learning piano." " I can." "And I am free not to want to greet mister Carlo Canneli." "You'll have to greet him, since you'll see him at the next party." "He's a guest." "Invited by you?" " By Evelyne." "But I arranged everything." "He had a good price." "And besides, he gets paid..." "Anyway, the problem for your dress is solved." "You will be able to dress like Lady Chatterley." "A lady who had sex with her servant." "All right." "The war." " How are you?" " Fine." "And Marion's fine too." "May I introduce Carlo Canneli who accepted to play for us tonight." "This is Philip Cowan, the Grand Hotel's manager, an old friend of mine." "Where is the charming Ms Miller?" "Over there, somewhere." "Follow me, the buffet is right here." "Do you think he did this party on his expense account?" "Go ask him." "It's deadly boring..." "I don't think so." "And nobody forced you to die with them." "You know that guy, Miller." "He really believed that you went to criminal court." "He believed Ralph's fibs." "Then, Miller and me have something in common." "The discovery of Malcolm McRae's murderer didn't please both of us." "You talk nonsense!" "What are you doing here on your own?" "Stay with us, we're going to heat the pool." "Those who want to go in the pool can put on a swimsuit in the changing room." "The door is locked." "Don't you want to go swimming?" "Good evening." "You look fine." "I adore you." "Go swimming, it's quite warm!" "I just have a little headache." " Do you want a pill?" " Yes." "Hi!" " Hi." "Aren't you cold?" " No." " It's a nice pool." " Isn't it?" "Vic, the Millers apologized, they were tired and they left." "And Carlo?" "He's still swimming, I mean, he was there when I left the pool." "What's he doing?" "Do they know each other for a long time?" "No, not really." " What happened?" " I call Franklin!" "You think he felt faint?" "Perform mouth-to-mouth resuscitation!" "Don't you think we should wrap him in a blanket?" "Maybe he had a cramp." "Do something!" "How did this happen?" "I don't know." "It happened 5 minutes ago." "We take him away." "He will die!" "We shouldn't have taken this pool, you were right." "What was he doing when you left the pool?" "Nothing." "Didn't he say that the water was too cold?" "No" "It's you." "You hit him and you drowned him." "She's delirious." "I'm sure he hit him and drowned him, I want to call the hospital." "Let go of me!" "I wanna call the hospital so that they examine his head." " Let me go!" " I'm calling, I'm calling." "Can you put the casualty department on?" "I'd like to know how is Carlo Canneli's state?" "All right." "Thanks." "He's dead." "An autopsy will be done." "Do you come with me, Melanie?" "We go home." "We're home." "What's happening?" " Carlo is dead." " Is it true, daddy?" " Yes." " How?" "Drowned in the hotel's pool." "Did he eat before going swimming?" "You hurt me." "Doctor, didn't you find any information which shows that the death was not acidental?" " Nothing." " No mark of struggle?" "Red blotches on the shoulders which were surely made when he was taken out of the pool." "Or when the mouth-to-mouth resuscitation was performed." " Any contusion on the head?" " No." "Then, your conclusion is the same than the medical examiner's one." "But the pool was heated." "All right." "Now, I'm talking to all of you." "Is there anybody here who have doubts about the accidental death of mister Canneli?" "Yes," "I have." "I'm listening." "My husband didn't like Carlo." "You mean they quarreled?" "No." "He didn't like him because I did like him." "And you think that your husband was jealous of mister Canneli?" "Yes." "And I think that he killed him." "I have to require you get back to your seat, Madame." "Did anybody of you notice a particular move from mister Allen to mister Canneli." "Ms Allen?" "No." "But I know he killed him." "Do you have any proof?" "Any clue?" "No." "I just feel it, that's all." "Can anybody of you assert that mister Allen has a jealous or quick-tempered character?" "Your Honor, I know mister Allen for a long time, and these suspicions are unbelievable... and disgraceful." " Mister Allen is... the straightest man I've ever known." "In the absence of any proof, mister Carlo Canneli's death is considered accidental." "The investigation is closed, thank you." "You were great." "It's just the beginning." "Did you really kill Carlo?" "No, who told you so?" "Julia swore it on her brother's life." "Poor brother." " It's great!" " But it's not true." "If it was, we shouldn't tell anybody, right?" "You're already here?" "That's a good surprise." " It was Miller." " Who doesn't greet me." " How was your reciting?" " Not really." "Hello!" "You should have forgotten... but once you promised me I could visit your factory." "I do remember that." "Come in." " For the bottles, I'm planning to do..." " I wanted to tell you..." "I don't approve of what my husband does." "Oh, and what does he do?" "You mean the fuss he made about me?" "I don't know why he keeps fighting against you." "All he does is making people hate us." "That's all." "I just wanted to apologize... for him." " Does he know that you're here?" " No." "Everything goes wrong between me and him." "Anyway, thanks for coming, it's kind of you." "Why did you do that?" "Because I wished I had loved someone like you." "And I can't." "Give my regards to your husband, Ms Miller." " Shit!" "I give it up!" " Try again." "Or you won't win the competition." " It's in two weeks, I've got enough time to improve." " No, you barely have enough time." " OK, let's try again." "You still love mommy?" "Of course." "Why are you asking?" "Because." "Do you love her?" "Marion..." "Hi everyone!" "What's happening?" "Nothing." "Hello." "Vic, let me introduce Robert Carpentier." "Robert Carpentier, this is my husband." "Mister Carpentier researches Victor Hugo." "He'll stay in Jersey for a few months." " Very well." "What do you want to drink?" "Whatever you want." "You work on perfumes, don't you?" " I do." "Robert will stay for dinner." " All right, but I don't know if..." " I bought steaks." " Very well." "Who cooks?" " You cook." "I show him the house." "Beatrice Marie Allen." "Marion for the close friends." " Hello, how old are you?" " I'm 18, and you?" " I'm 28." " Liar!" "Marion, will you help me with the cooking?" "Hurry up!" "Come on." "You're right, tourism is bad for islands' culture." ""Pieces of... "" ""Pieces of France that fell into the sea, fished out by England. "" "It's nice." "Who wrote it?" "Guess who?" "Hugo?" "Well done!" "Aren't you tired?" "Yes." "Wait!" "What is it?" "That's the one with the pink line that we've seen before?" "Robert, today is our seventh wedding anniversary." "Congratulations!" " Eighth." " Really?" "Good night Vic!" "Thank you!" "Where's my wife?" "She went upstairs a few minutes ago." "I don't want to expel you, but she's asleep." "Really?" "She told me she was going to get back." " Excuse me." " It's nothing, good bye." "Melanie, I'm here!" "I let the car outside, I've still something to do." "Are you our guest for dinner, tonight?" "I'm not going to overstay my welcome." "Do overstay, my dear, as long as you are able to." "I hope I'm not interrupting a meeting of the Melanie Allen's support group." " What do you want?" "I want you to get rid of that moocher who doesn't leave my house, who is pretending to have sex with my wife" " and who's certainly never read Victor Hugo." " No." " I thought you'd got balls, Mr Miller." " You usually have better manners." "Yes, but I'm usually in a better mood, I didn't really enjoy the fuss you made." " What fuss?" " Drop it." "No no, I'll tell you." "My wife and Mr Miller hired a private detective, Mr Carpentier, to push me into killing him, because, you see, I'm apparently very jealous." "And the proof is, I killed the pianist involved in the same kind of business." " Why should I answer?" " All right." "Carpentier works for the confidential agency in Cherbourg." "Thank you." "Give my regards to Ms Miller." " My wife left me a week ago." "She thought that I was making enemies, but unlike you, I don't need friends." "I forgot!" "Who pays Mr Carpentier?" "You?" "Yes, I'm waiting." "You had a nice walk?" " Very nice." "Hello, sir." "It's about your employee, Mr Carpentier." "Help yourself, I'm coming." "No, he's very nice, very friendly." "Beware, it's hot!" "But the man Mr Carpentier is supposed to shadow is aware." "Who am I?" "The man he is supposed to shadow." "That's it." "The husband." "Charge the return ticket to my account." "Yes, thank you." "Want to eat something?" "It's good." "I received a letter from Anthony Cameron." " He'll spend a couple of days here at the end of the month." " Who is he?" "You know, the Canadian man who wants to sell my perfumes in his country." "You don't give a damn, do you?" "I don't give a damn." "Do you want to divorce?" "I'll give you whatever you want, except Marion." " No." " You don't want?" "No, it's not over between you and me." "What's that?" "A menace?" "I hope you're as unhappy as I am." "I won!" "Let's do it again, with the left arm, so that you may have a chance." "Not now." " Where are you going?" " I'll be right back." "Stay with me." " Mr Cameron?" " Mr Allen?" "Nice to meet you." "Let me introduce Anthony Cameron." "My wife, Melanie." "Nice to meet you." "So, you're the American guy?" " No, Canadian." " And you want to buy my husband?" "Only his perfumes." " To sell them in America?" " Very, very expensive." " You knew he went by boat?" " From America?" "No, from Ireland." "I like islands." " I was born on an island." " Jersey?" " No, he is from Jersey." " And you?" " From Ile-de-France." " The most beautiful one." "You know, there is not many perfumers who work like you." "I know." "I do a lot of things that most people don't do anymore." " You're lying!" " No, I'm telling you, that's the way it was." "If you have known my father, the orchestra of Vancouver..." "It's too late!" "It's closed." "All the better, I hate visits." "Me too." "You want to leave?" "It's not the castle I wanted Anthony to see, it's the view from the castle." "Aren't you tired of him?" " No, he's refreshing." " Really?" "And can you explain me why he is refreshing?" "Yes, he is the opposite of you." "Are you going to see him again?" "Of course." "Aren't you?" "I don't want to do business with him anymore." "Are you still unhappy?" "It's getting late." "You should go to bed." "Marion!" "When is the competition?" " On Saturday." " And when is Saturday?" " The day after tomorrow." " Do you think it's time to play the fool?" "I'm the one who should be scolded." "Oh, I didn't notice you were here." "How are you?" "Good, and you?" " Daddy!" " Yes?" " Are you still here?" " Yes." "Come close to me." "Turn off the light." "Isn't their rackat over?" "Sleep." " How can I sleep with all that rackat?" " Racket, not rackat." "Daddy?" "Tell me a story." "The story's about Sanson." "Samson was the strongest man in the whole world, and he used to fight against the Philistines." "Who were the Philistines?" "They were vulgar people, noisy... but powerful." "Sanson was stronger than them, until the day he met Dalila." "Dalila was very beautiful." "The Philistines paid her to discover the secret of Sanson's strength." "So every day she asked Sanson what was his secret, and every day Sanson told a lie." "And the Philistines couldn't get Sanson." "Then, Dalila started crying, sulking, so that Sanson gives her his secret." "Finally, he told the truth, and lost his strength." "The Philistines got him, blinded him, tied him up and put him in a temple so that everyone could make fun of him." "What was his secret?" "His hair." " It's a sad story." " No." "Because one day, while everyone was making fun of him," "Sanson leant against the columns that held up the temple" " his hair had grown again, so he got his strength back - and he made the temple collapse, which killed thousands of Philistines." "But then he was dead too?" "Yes." "But it did no longer matter." "Sleep." "But why did Samson tell the girl his secret?" "I don't get it." "Me neither." "Sleep." "I didn't know you were awake." "Aren't you cold?" " Will you see Cameron this afternoon?" " No, but he'll be here for dinner." "Vic, I accept your proposition." "What proposition?" " You know, the divorce." " Yes." "Whenever you want." "What happened?" "Why do you change your mind?" "It's Mr Cameron...?" "Yes, Mr Cameron." "That clown, with his clarinet?" "I need a clown with a clarinet at the moment." " Marion stays with me." " Vic... 50.000 F per year, okay?" "Okay." "How do we do?" "Well, you accuse me of being adulterous." "I'll take care of this tomorrow." "Vic, could you give us two or three dozens of you snails for dinner?" "We don't eat snails." "Then, what's the use of them?" "They're of no use." "You have so much of them, you could give us some." "He knows how to cook them very well." "No!" "I told Mr Cameron we don't eat my snails." "Only three dozens." "One for me, one for him, and one for you." "I said no!" " Daddy, did your snails eat today?" " Yes." "Then it's impossible, you have to make them disgorge before cooking them." "Come on." " Sorry, I didn't want..." " It's nothing." " I'm hungry!" " You should have eaten your breakfast." "I feel nervous, it prevents me from eating, but not from being hungry." "At 11 AM." "You better not be late." "It's okay." "If I win, you promised I'd have a dog." " Are you leaving?" " Melanie told you...?" " Yes." " We're leaving tomorrow." "I wanted to talk about it with you." "I have no time right now, I have to go to the factory." "Want to come with me?" "All right." "I can smell the sea air." "Hello!" "What's Julie going to play today?" "Nothing, she caught measles yesterday." "Bad luck!" "Give her some Sofirez." " Does it work well?" " Yes, very well, and you can find it everywhere." "Ladies and gentlemen, my dear children," "I won't give a long speech, we all know why we're here today." "We will start by the piano competition." "Let me introduce the first child," "Beatrice Marie Allen." "Daddy, Perceval is in such a bad mood because I didn't win the competition, that it doesn't want to eat!" "What's wrong?" "I'll do the cooking, how many are we for dinner?" "Why do you ask?" "Because I'd like to know if Mr Cameron will be our guest, or not." "I don't know." " You don't eat?" " Me and Perceval are too angry." "Then I can't do anything." "That's ridiculous." "He may have been delayed somewhere." "Eat something." "Yes, I'm putting you through." "It's Julie." "Hi, do you stay in bed?" "Are you all red?" "Why are you so pleased with yourself?" "What did you tell him?" " Who?" " Anthony." "Why?" "What happened?" "He's missing?" "I don't know." "Nobody knows where he could be." "I think he left." "He left his things in his hotel room, how can you explain that?" "He couldn't have left without paying." "I'm explaining nothing, but he was just a guest, wasn't he?" "He'd never have left like this, never." "Maybe he was afraid at the last moment." "Afraid of you?" "I can't imagine that he could have been afraid of me." "Did something happen?" "It's you?" "I'll tell everybody!" "Let me go!" "Avermal." "Allen, Victor." "Please sit down, sir." "What happened to you?" " I fell down the stairs." " Were you there?" "Yes." "Mr Allen, you met Mr Cameron last Saturday at 10:15 AM, in front of a travel agency." "That's right." "I was sure you saw him on Saturday." "The travel agency's employee said that he got in your car." "So you're the last person who has seen Mr Cameron." "He should have gone to his hotel at 1:00PM, but he never went there." " With you?" " Yes." "Could you explain me exactly what happened?" "I saw him next to the agency," "I asked him if he wanted me to drop him off somewhere, and he said in port." "What time was it?" "10:15 or 10:30 AM." "He didn't say something in particular?" " No." " And then?" "I went to my factory for a little dog I bought the day before for my daughter." "She worked hard for the piano competition." "Yes, you came to the school around 11:00 AM." "Ms Allen arrived a few minutes later." "Mr Allen, why didn't you tell that you had seen Mr Cameron before?" "To protect my wife." "Her reputation." "To prevent her from being ridiculous." "She surely forgot to tell you about the divorce she wanted... only to leave with Mr Cameron." " Is it right?" " Yes." "You've known Mr Cameron for one week." "Five days." "And you wanted to divorce in order to marry Cameron." "Yes." "I think - excuse me, Melanie - that maybe Mr Cameron left because he was afraid of the definitive plans of my wife." "It's over for today." "Thank you, sir." "Good bye." " Mr Avermal, does it ring a bell?" " Yes, I saw him yesterday." "He just left the Consulate." "It's starting again, isn't it?" "What?" "Don't play the fool." "The same story than the pianist." "A guy's dead, and your wife just blames it on you." " Melanie isn't my wife." " What happened to your head?" "I fell down the stairs." "Anyway, I told him what I thought of Melanie and you." "Can I ask you something?" "What don't you divorce her?" "Thank you for coming." "The detective told me this case will soon be closed, since nothing indicates the Canadian guy's dead, except Melanie's fibs." "You'll see he will soon resurface." "You think so?" "Sleep." "Vic?" "Come in." "Come." "You know, I'm glad that I didn't leave." "You changed the lampshade?" "That's better, the light is softer." "Everything else doesn't matter." "What are you thinking about?" "Sanson." "Good night." ""Meet us on the cliff at 5 PM."" "Happy Birthday!" "I totally forgot!" "We didn't." "Not too close to the edge, Marion." "I was afraid." "Me too." "Come on." "We're going home." "Subtitles:" "Minimus"