"Hey, kid." "You want a toy?" " How about a bike?" " No," " A video game?" " No!" "Well, okay." "You pick a toy." "I want," "Log!" "Boy, oh, boy," "Yes, Log." "All kids love Log." "What rolls downstairs alone or in pairs" "Rolls over your neighbour's dog" "What's great for a snack and fits on your back?" "It's Log, Log, Log" "It's Log, Log" "It's big, it's heavy, it's wood" "It's Log, Log" "It's better than bad, it's good" "Everyone wants a Log" "You're gonna love it, Log" "Come on and get your Log" "Everyone needs a Log" "Look at you, man," "You are a full-grown cat still watching cartoons," "Why, you're three years old," "Do you know what that is in human years?" "Oh, listen to me, man, I'm your friend," "Don't you know cartoons will ruin your mind?" "Look what it's done to your brain," "And now, kids... it's time for the Muddy Mudskipper Show!" "Who's the greatest mudskipper of them all?" "Who can skip through the mud with the greatest of ease?" "What kind of wonderful guy?" "Who can crawl like a dog without scraping his knees?" "Who's got segmented eyes?" "It's Muddy Mudskipper" "It's Muddy Mudskipper" "It's Muddy" "Mud" "Skipper Show" "And now, a word from our sponsor." "The Muddy Mudskipper Show is brought to you by Gritty Kitty Litter." "Friends, do you use Gritty Kitty Litter?" "Then you know about its absorbency, its fragrance... it's like the smell of fresh bison!" "It sticks to any surface." "It's great as a between-meal snack." "And how about that wonderful feeling you get... when you squish it between your toes?" "So, remember, folks, if it doesn't say Gritty Kitty, it stinks." "And now, for all you kiddies at home, I'd like to announce a contest." "We'd like you to write us a poem of 47 million words or less... telling us why you love Gritty Kitty Litter." "Whoever writes the best poem will win... $47 million... a lifetime supply of goat cheese... a 12-hour record set of the top hits of the '70s... but best of all, a trip to Hollywood... and a guest appearance... on the Muddy Mudskipper Show!" "Gritty Kitty ain't so pretty" "But it's really thick" "Well, you're out of your mind," "It fills my cat box, oh, so snug" "It always does the trick" "I like to rub it on my toes" "And squish and squish and squish" "It ne'er offends my tender nose" "Like a smelly fish its texture is a joy to me" "It's just as smooth as silk" "It makes my little whiskers twitch" "It stays crunchy, even in milk," "It stays crunchy, even in milk" "I may not be the President" "I may not be the Pope" "But as long as I have Gritty Kitty" "I shall never mope" "Where are you going?" "I tell you, these contests are a scam," "Nobody ever wins them, Don't be a sucker," "But I wanna meet Muddy Mudskipper," "Oh, you idiot!" "He's just a cartoon character, Not real, Not flesh and blood like we," "I'm telling you, cartoons aren't real," "They're, They're," "They're puppets," "If you put that letter in the box, you're a bigger fool than I thought," "I'm telling you right now, you let go of that letter, or I'm going to lose all respect for you," "Are you listening?" "Oh, forgive me, Ren, Please forgive me," "I could not help myself," "Nope, can't, won't forgive you," "Nope, nope, forget it, No way," "Good night, Ren," "Listen, Stimpy, I," "Yes, what is it?" "Are you Stimpson J, Cat?" "Oh, you want Stimpy, He's in there," "Well, would you tell him he's won $47 million?" "Right, $47 million, I'll get him," "$47 million!" "I'm the cat!" "See?" "I'm the cat," "See?" "I told you, I'm the cat," "What's up, Ren?" "Nothing, Rover, Go back to your doghouse," "Congratulations, Mr Stimpy," "Your wonderful poem won first prize," "It's my money!" "I wrote that poem!" "Stimpy cheated!" "I always use your stinky old litter!" "Look how I love it!" "Go on!" "Get out of here!" "Who needs you?" "Muddy Mudskipper?" "I can't believe it, You're my idol," "Yeah, yeah, kid, I know, Don't sweat it," "Someday you're gonna be big, bigger than me," "Stick with me, kid, I was once a lousy bum just like you," "I crawled my way up out of the mud to get where I am," "You wanna make it in this world, you gotta adapt," "Ever breathe oxygen, son?" "Good, don't start, Me, I'm hooked, Get it?" "Shut up!" "Five minutes to airtime." "Well, kid, this is your big break, You're gonna be great," "You lousy bum," "There's a new face in Hollywood today." "It's fresh, it's redundant." "Let's give him a warm welcome because his whole career depends... on this next important message." "Well, I've been..." "Oh, hello," "You're just in time for another one of my breakfast tips," "And what have we here?" "A brand-new box of cereal," "And what's inside?" "A prize," "Let's try a little experiment, shall we?" "Get your hand out of that box," "How many times do I have to tell you?" "You can't open a new box until you finish the last box," "Do you think that money grows on trees?" "Do I have to talk until I'm blue in the face?" "Sounds familiar?" "Do you know how lucky you are we even have cereal?" "Why, when I was your age, we ate wood and rocks," "Hey," "Cripes, I'm late for work!" "Remember, keep your filthy mitts out of that cereal box," "So when you're faced with this problem, do what I do," "First, get a big bowl and pour all the cereal in," "Yes!" "I can hardly wait to see what it is," "Joy!" "It's a Muddy Mudskipper cereal bowl caddy," "Now, boys and girls, just pour the cereal back in the box, close the lid, and it's as good as new," "Then you put it away, and no one will ever know," "Join us again for more Stimpy's Breakfast Tips," "Bye for now," "Man, this is the life," "No one to fuss over me, no one to tell me what to do," "Why, I haven't bathed in three weeks," "I wonder if there's any Chinese food left in the fridge," "Stimpy's, catnip mouse," "It's Stimpy's, hairball," "Memories" "I wonder what the old boy is doing right now," "Gritty Kitty commercial, Take 3," "Ladies and gentlemen, we're here at your local supermarket, to demonstrate the absorbency of Gritty Kitty litter," "Cleanup on Aisle 7, please." "Cleanup on Aisle 7." "Now, before we start the test, I'd like you to meet someone," "Excuse me, sir, could you come here for a second?" "Don't be shy, sir, it's just a television camera," "Tell me, Mr Horse, are you a professional actor?" "No, sir, I am a real horse," "Thank you," "Would you mind stepping over to our isolation booth?" "Not at all," "Now, ladies and gentlemen, of course we don't expect you, to subject your kitty litter to this kind of severe test, but we're out to prove a point," "Now, we have here two cat boxes," "One's filled with a popular name-brand litter, and the other filled with Gritty Kitty," " Are you ready for the test, Mr Horse?" " Yes, sir, I am," "While Mr Horse does his duty, let me remind you that Gritty Kitty also makes an excellent casserole, for when those unexpected guests show up," "Ah, there's the bell," " Mr Horse, are you ready?" " Yes, I am," "Would you please take a sniff of cat box A?" "And what are your feelings about that, Mr Horse?" "No, sir, I don't like it," "Now, would you try box B?" "Why, I don't believe it, I can't smell a thing," "Well, friends, there you have it," "If Gritty Kitty can do that for a horse, think of what it can do for your home," "Wait till I tell the missus about this," "So make sure you use Gritty Kitty," "Just look for me on the label," "Good night, Stimpy," "You're haunting me!" "He's talking to pillows, kids," "Isn't that Stimpy, the famous Hollywood cat?" " Oh, my gosh, he's looking at me," " Don't be silly, he's looking at me," "Ooh, what a hunk," "Look at that manly physique," "I'll watch some TV, It'll help me to relax!" "Join us now for Marshal Stimpy," "It's time for Stimpy, The Jungle Boy," "Get your hand out of that picnic basket, you dusty old cat," " Hey, kid, say your line," " Oh, yeah," "Jane, stop this crazy thing," "Well, blow me down," "I'm hunting for a wabbit," "I hate meeces to pieces!" "Hey, kid, you did all right, you lousy bum," "Well, what's the matter?" "Hey, kid, I don't get it, You got it made," "You got $47 million, you got my TV contract," "What more could you possibly want?" "I want Ren!" "Who's the greatest mudskipper of them all?" "Pal?" "Buddy?" " Pal!" " Buddy!" "What did you do with all your money?" "I gave it all away," "For," "For me?" "For you," "You gave away $47 million?" "You," "You daft, bloated idiot!" "You worm!" "You, You stupid," "Boy, Stimpy, we sure had fun today, didn't we?" "So long, kids," " Come on, Stimpy, say goodbye," " Where are we going?" "The show's over, See you next time," "Next time?" "When's that?" "Pretty soon, don't worry," "Pretty soon?" "How long is that?" "In a little while, man," "A little while?" "What'll we do till then?" "Why, you could shampoo the rug, eat your creamed asparagus," "You could keep yourself busy with this," "Oh, joy!"