"Timing by Fist_Rothbone" "For hundreds of years in Japan, there has lived a clan who have dedicated themselves to a secret art of self-defense and survival." "The art is so lethal that it has made the clan invincible." "To this day, we are known as ninjas." "Twenty-five years ago an ancient legend of this sacred art came alive." "It spoke of a foreign child who would come among us and become a ninja master like none other." "How he arrived on our shores will forever remain a mystery." "We ninjas thought that this child would be the Great White Ninja of the legend." "We were wrong." "We were very wrong." "Haru!" "Haru." "Gobei." "I need your honest opinion about something." "Yes, sensei." "What do you think of Haru?" "I Iove my brother." "His heart's like a flower." "His determination's like a tiger." "He's a fat fool and an embarrassment to ninjas everywhere." "Today, I am proud to be your sensei." "This is that special time when I can say to you:" ""You are a ninja."" "You can communicate with other ninjas by projecting yourself onto the plane of enlightenment." "Remember on this plane which can be shared by no other mortal we can always contact each other wherever we may be." "As a ninja you are one with the universe." "AII of you who are graduating today will receive the medallion of the Tengu Warrior." "However, I give the golden medallion to my finest student." "Gobei." "Forged in the fires of confidence and discipline." "Carry it with you always." "Sorry, Haru." "congratulations, big brother." "Wait!" "Sensei, wait for me!" "Sensei, I am so excited about tonight." "I have been waiting for such a Iong time!" "Tonight's exercise is for the ninjas only." "But your job is an important one." "You are to remain here to protect the village and guard the dojo." "I shall do as you say." "I shall protect the village and guard the dojo." "And I shall water the plants." "Good luck." "Good luck." "Stay low so as not to be detected." "Good luck, my brother." "Do not try it." "Don't try it." "Are you communicating with me?" "Are you communicating with me?" "hello?" "Excuse me." "Is this the Takagure dojo?" "I'm sorry." "This must be the wrong place." "No!" "please do not go." "I mean...." "Yes, this is the Takagure dojo." "Oh, thank goodness." "Let me take your shoes." "Thank you." "I was told that I couId find a ninja here." "really?" "please, sit." "Wait!" "Thank you." "That's very impressive." "So are you a ninja?" "Yes, I am." "But you're white." "You are observant as well as beautiful." "I'm sorry." "I didn't expect to find a white ninja." "Do not be fooled by the color of my skin." "Haven't you heard of the white child who'II grow up to become the greatest ninja master of all?" "Is that you?" "Some say it is so." "You see, it is written in this holy writ." "This holds the teachings of all ninjutsu that have been passed down for generations over five centuries." "And in this writ there's a legend about a Great White Ninja?" "You see here...." ""In the 1 6th century there came to pass--"" "This is the wrong writ." "This is about the sensei and the twin geishas." "also a good legend but not the one we were looking for." "Here is my legend." ""It is foretold that a foreign child will come and become a ninja master like no other."" "It's burning." "Yes, the words are seared into my soul." "I mean it's really on fire!" "Yes, I can tell." "They may have a second copy." "please tell me why you have come to my dojo." "I warn you that what I'm gonna ask you to do might be dangerous." "Danger is my companion." "Miss...?" "sally." "sally Jones." "I am Haru." "Do not worry about Haru." "This ninja knows no fear." "You see, I am a trained master in each of the weapons of battle." "That rack was not built by ninjas." "This, however, was." "Luck is with me for this sacred shrine holds the ashes of our fallen ninja warriors." "Sensei is going to kill me!" "Takure." "Master Go." "Tampo?" "Kai?" "I think they worked as a team." "tell me why you are in need of a ninja." "I've heard ninjas can get into places without being seen." "This is important, because what I need requires great stealth." "You are in luck." "My highest grades were in stealth." "Let me give you an example." "close your eyes, turn around and count to nine." "When you open them, I will be gone." "One, two three, four five, six seven, eight nine." "hello?" "Here I am." "sally Jones, I will accept your dangerous mission." "Oh, that's great." "Thank you." "Here's my problem." "I'm seeing this man." "Oh, you have a man friend." "I've become suspicious of him." "He may be seeing another woman." "I think it's bigger than that." "I've discovered he has a meeting tomorrow by the harbor." "excellent." "You too should be a ninja." "I need you to find out what he's up to." "His name's Martin TanIey and he has a limousine with this license plate number." "3-5-1 -0-2." "Where shall I contact you?" "It's important that you don't try to contact me." "I'II contact you before I return to the States." "Whatever you wish." "I will follow your boyfriend, sally Jones." "My eyes will be like the tentacles of a squid." "Good." "I guess." "Thank you." "Yes!" "I got you." "Good morning, Mr. TanIey." "Nobu." "It's all set." "They'II meet us here." "Let's have a look at it, then." "Oh, yes." "It's a perfect counterfeit." "Yes, one we can duplicate 1 0 million times." "Martin TanIey, attack me with your front gate I come in the back door." "Oh, yes." "They are beautiful." "I have some bad news." "What?" "I have the plates for only one side of the bill." "Excuse me?" "We tried to get the ones for the other side..." "...but they're held up in Los angeles." "Why?" "I don't know." "You're paid well to know." "I arranged to get this set of plates." "I've just paid a million dollars for one side of a 1 0,000 yen bill." "What good does that do me?" "No good." "well, here's some advice for your next life:" "Never take a job you can't complete." "Sensei, I am sorry I posed as a ninja, but this woman needed my help." "It's you who needs help." "I have learned the police believe a ninja committed a murder." "believe me, sensei." "I killed no one." "I do believe you, Haru, but I'm worried." "Do not worry about me." "It is the woman who is in trouble." "Does it not seem likely that this woman hired you because she wanted someone she could blame for this murder?" "She is incapable of such things." "She is as lovely as a dove." "It sounds to me you are being led around by your short sword." "Gobei called her hotel." "There is no one named sally Jones." "A woman such as you described had the name alison Page." "Perhaps she gave the hotel a false name." "Perhaps she gave you the false name." "Sensei, believe me." "This woman's telling the truth." "You are unable to tell truth from untruth." "That is impossible." "My ninja intuition tells me this." "You don't have ninja intuition." "You do not even have normal intuition." "AII my feelings tell me sally Jones is in trouble." "I must go to America to protect her." "What makes you think you can find her in America?" "I have this." "My mission is clear." "I must go to the hills of beverly, find sally Jones and save her." "And prove, once and for all, that I am the Great White Ninja." "I will miss you." "Goodbye." "Goodbye." "Gobei, I've always looked up to you and you've always looked out for me." "But now it's time I Iook out for myself." "Be careful in your travels." "The world is a dangerous place." "Thank you, big brother." "Though I think it is wrong for you to make this journey I want you to take this." "Use them only for necessities." "believe in yourself, my son." "I know you will succeed." "Thank you, sensei." "There is no better father that a boy could have had." "Go, Haru." "Wait!" "Wait up!" "Goodbye, everyone!" "I'm surprised, but I'm going to miss him." "No, you will not." "Because you are going with him." "No!" "please!" "Anything but that!" "Goodbye, my family!" "See you!" "Don't worry" "You will become his shadow." "No one can know you are helping him especially Haru." "Goodbye, everyone!" "I'II take your bag." "Empty your pockets, please." "I am sure you would Iike to know who I am and what I do." "But as part of my creed, I cannot tell you." "You see, my identity must remain mysterious and my mission secret." "I cannot reveal it to you." "Why not?" "Because I would then have to kill you." "Daddy!" "Daddy, he said he was going to kill me!" "What did you say to my kid?" "I was merely relating to the child the importance" "That's it." "Grab it." "Thanks, asshole!" "You are welcome." "What happened?" "The plates were taken by a gang called the Kobudosai." "I don't care who they are." "I want them back." "It's being arranged." "But it has to be done delicately, not Iike in Japan." "Nobu, this is beverly hills." "Everyone behaves delicately." "Why do you think crooks like me are so weII-respected?" "My dear..." "...how was your shopping?" "Good." "Share some lunch?" "May I take your bag?" "Thanks, asshole." "You're welcome, sir." "You see, sensei?" "It is all coming together." "Seventy-three minutes to deliver two suitcases and one garment bag." "Do you have an explanation?" "Yes, sir." "I seem to be coming down with a mild case of tunnel carpal syndrome in my wrist." "I think it's from carrying real heavy garment bags around." "Now I don't want to go on disability and sue this company for millions." "So I figured I would just pace myself." "Mr. Washington, everything you do irritates me." "I'm going to go soak my wrists." "May I help you, sir?" "Yes." "I am looking for a sally Jones." "I'm sorry." "I don't see that name in my computer." "Now, if you'II excuse me." "I'd Iike to rent one of your lodgings." "Is the cost great?" "Compared to what?" "A hut in a rice paddy?" "Sir, we are a five-star hotel with 800 rooms booked six months in advance." "I have money." "I'm sure you do." "unfortunately, we don't take wampum." "Do you, perhaps, take gold?" "Front!" "Perhaps I shall send Dom Perignon to your room?" "I prefer to be alone tonight." "Perhaps later I will meet your friend Don." "1 A." "My wrists!" "What you got in here?" "Car radios?" "Here you go, sir." "welcome to the Rodeo plaza hotel." "What are you?" "A spy or something?" "A spy?" "A spy is like a gnat compared to a ninja." "Ninja?" "You're a ninja?" "Get out of here!" "You're a ninja!" "Yes, I am a ninja." "I took a few karate lessons myself." "I'm not as advanced as you." "I'm what you might call a tangerine belt, orange belt." "I'm one of them citrus colors." "You know what I'm saying." "Very admirable." "Then perhaps you will know what these are." "Man, that was dope!" "What are you?" "Like a third-degree black belt?" "The blackness of my belt is like the inside of a coffin on a moonless night." "That's pretty black." "It is a black art." "And I, Haru, am the blackest of the black." "Or, actually, the Great White, black art bIackest master." "Hey, man." "Do you know what I do once I leave here?" "No." "What?" "I'm running." "I'm always running, man." "My neighborhood's bad." "I run to get cigarettes and milk and to take out the trash." "You know why?" "Because whenever I leave my house somebody's just waiting to kick my ass." "You gotta show me a little of what you know." "Just a kick or a jab." "Something." "If I do this, you must give me your solemn promise that you will not question my authority." "No problem, man." "I went to catholic school." "AII right then, Joey." "I'II do what I can." "Lesson number one:" "always be on your guard." "always be on my guard." "AII right." "You the ninja." "On my guard." "Lesson number two:" "Your foe's back can quickly become his front." "And lesson 34:" "The final technique for ripping a man's head off is by simply using your bare hands." "This requires hard work and discipline years, sometimes decades, to achieve." "I suggest that you practice on chickens." "Chickens?" "Ninja secret." "Chickens." "Here is what I was looking for, Joey, my young friend." "A beverly hills disguise." "Something simple and natural yet subtle and cunning." "You wait here." "I got your back." "You look like a pimp." "Thank you." "And as a pimp, I'II blend into beverly hills like MSG into miso soup." "It's time for me to find my dove." "And how do we do that?" "She's rich, she's beautiful, she's blonde." "How many rich, beautiful blondes could there be here?" "natural blondes?" "I'm in." "Let's do it." "No, Joey." "We are entering a dangerous phase of our mission." "Any misstep could put sally's life in jeopardy." "So what are you saying?" "I can't go with you?" "sally?" "Oh, my gosh!" "Get away from me, you creep!" "I thought we was homies." "I thought you was my boy, my ninja." "I thought we was like this." "A ninja master knows best." "You're breaking rule number one, questioning my authority." "You're right." "You got it." "If you need me, I'II be at the hotel." "Okay, Joey." "Good work today." "sally?" "sally Jones!" "I mistook you for a friend of mine." "You look so much like her." "I mean, him." "Up close, you don't look like either of them." "They are twins." "And they...." "This is nice." "Excuse me, I have to be going." "Thank you." "sally!" "sally Jones!" "It is I, Haru!" "What are you doing here?" "You said you needed a ninja." "I've come many miles and now travel disguised as a pimp to help you." "Just go away." "I've come to rescue you." "I don't need to be rescued." "Just leave." "I see." "Very smart." "For now, it is better that you not let them know I am here." "Here, take this." "I'm sorry to tell you this but your boyfriend is a counterfeiter and a killer." "A man like that, you can be sure he's cheating on you too." "Do not despair, sally Jones." "I will be ever-vigiIant." "I will be watching your every move making sure that as the" "Do not be afraid, my dove." "I will be watching you." "There you are." "Now we will see who is the hunter and who is the prey, Martin TanIey." "Martin TanIey, you have left a trail a sloth could follow." "Thanks for meeting us, Mr. Ozaru." "It's in our interest to resolve our differences." "We're in perfect agreement." "Cut the bullshit." "What do you want for your plates?" "I think you have it backwards." "It is the Kobudosai who are going to buy your plates." "Do you honestly think you can waltz in grab the plates and try and run the show?" "You don't have a choice, Mr. TanIey." "I will know." "I will do." "I am one with the universe." "holy Shinto!" "I am one with the universe." "No, I am not one with the universe!" "Let's discuss how much we're going to give you for your plates." "Get out!" "holy Shinto!" "help!" "police!" "No!" "No!" "I did not do it!" "This is the site of a gangland murder last night in little Tokyo." "Witnesses say the assailant had matching tattoos on his arms and may be what is called a ninja." "He matches an Interpol description of a man wanted in Japan for murder." "Come to papa, baby!" "Keep practicing, Joey and someday you will choke that chicken." "For Pete's sake." "Who is sloppy and messing up?" "Getting in the way all the time." "Sensei." "Meditate on me, Haru and we'll meet on the Plane of Enlightenment." "help!" "I must concentrate!" "I am one with the universe!" "Here, Haru!" "I am here." "I hate this!" "Thank you, sensei." "hello, my son." "hello, sensei." "There's a problem you are facing." "Not really." "It's just that I have been accused of another murder or two." "Come home, Haru." "I cannot, sensei." "I need your help in finding sally Jones." "I have considered several techniques." "I couId find the names of all BMW sales in the Iast five years checking on all the Joneses, then visiting them all." "Or" "You could try a phone book." "A phone book." "Then resume your quest." "I will, sensei." "You thought, perhaps, an experienced ninja would not be ready for you." "I am Haru of the Takagure dojo." "Do not forget that." "I am one with the universe!" "I am Haru of the Takagure...." "alison." "hello, alison." "Did Martin say when he'd be back?" "He didn't." "That's strange." "We have some business to go over." "It appears sally's using her false name with these people as well." "Very clever, sally." "You really should be a ninja." "Something's wrong." "It seems as though I am the only one who is calling her sally Jones." "How could she do this to me?" "Do not move, alison..." "alison Page!" "You have to get out of here." "The guards could kill us both." "You are a liar, sally..." "sally Jones!" "I'm sorry that I gave you a false name." "I only did it so TanIey wouldn't discover that I hired you." "Your lies bounce off me like Ping-Pong balls." "I am not lying to you, Haru." "In fact, I have you to thank for helping me." "You found out what I needed to know." "I did?" "Yes." "Look." "My sister carla worked for TanIey." "Three months ago, she died mysteriously." "I suspected TanIey, but I couldn't prove anything until you came along." "But you're his girlfriend." "You're in love with him." "I only got involved with him to find out what happened to carla." "He doesn't know I'm her sister!" "I cannot tell the truth from the untruth." "There's no time!" "If I find the plates, I can put him away." "You must believe me!" "I do believe you." "I have never stopped believing in you." "You are not alone." "Great White Ninja is on your case." "Thank you, Haru." "Quick!" "Bedroom, bedroom!" "Go!" "Go!" "What are you doing?" "I was looking for you." "I thought I'd make lunch for you." "I'm late." "I have a meeting I have to get to." "Wait!" "Let me take you to your favorite restaurant." "I can't." "Not today." "I'm in a bit of a hurry." "hopefully, I'II see you later." "Why don't you call a friend?" "Have a lovely afternoon." "Since I can't be with you, take them out to lunch instead." "Have a great meeting." "Bye!" "Good job!" "Thank you." "I don't know what to do." "I can't find those plates anywhere." "Do not be disheartened." "I know TanIey's next move." "I have discovered his schedule in this date book." "That's great." "Shrimp?" "Shrimp?" "I gotcha!" "Look at this!" "Word is out that what happened at the Neon club could start a war." "If they want a war, they'II have one." "Do not underestimate the Kobudosai." "They are ruthless." "We're not exactly kittens." "This ink specialist, have you met him?" "Chet waiters." "I'm told he's the best in the business." "Good." "I want him to print the front half of the bill tomorrow." "I want no complications." "What do you know about this ninja the police think killed Ozura and the other Kobudosai?" "We're lucky the police have another suspect." "And a white ninja." "Who ever heard of a white ninja?" "TanIey's at the first table on the right." "please don't!" "Do you know how long it took me to do my hair?" "Hurry, my dove!" "What the hell is she doing here?" "I've learned how to get to the plates." "You have?" "That's great." "Hurry." "They're coming." "Don't be afraid." "A ninja knows when he's in danger." "There they are!" "Shoot them!" "Now we are in danger." "We are really in danger!" "I'm one with the chicken." "Keep practicing, Joey." "Where...?" "Thank you for letting me stay here, Haru." "It is my pleasure, alison." "Besides, there is no place for you to go." "You must stay here." "TanIey will be watching your every move." "especially your apartment." "You need not worry." "I will protect you with all of my being." "I'm so lucky I found you." "You really are courageous." "If only I had caught TanIey in Japan." "Today, you would be basking in the safety of our dojo, after a bath where I would bring you soap and sweet-smeIIing oils that you could rub all over your body." "And then" "I am sorry." "I got carried away." "It's okay." "Your loyalty is most appreciated." "well, I guess it's time to turn in." "Do you want the bed or the couch?" "Which would you prefer?" "Couch is fine for me." "Oh, that would be fine for me too." "Good night." "Good night." "Do not worry." "He is simply an ink specialist." "He will suspect nothing." "As we talked about, you'II distract him and I'II use the ninja sIeephoId to incapacitate him." "Are you ready?" "Yeah, Iet's go." "How you doing?" "welcome to beverly hills Bank Note." "I'm Chet waiters." "Nice coat." "Who shot the couch?" "I'm just kidding." "What can I do you for?" "Our car broke down." "would you mind if I used your phone?" "Oh, don't get me started on car problems." "I got a 1 975 Fairmont." "That thing's about as hard to turn over as me on Laguna Beach." "I'm just bugging with you." "Auto club number is 555-9300." "Thank you." "Yep, the AAA." "You know, I knew a guy who started off in AAA, then ended up in AA." "He got busted for DUI." "hello, is this the Auto club?" "What are you doing?" "Are you not familiar with the art of shiatsu massage?" "Shiatsu?" "Watch your language." "There's a lady present." "When I was playing ball in Wisconsin these two cheerleaders Iathered me up like a whaIe" "Get off me!" "I'm calling the cops." "Give me the phone!" "Not a ninja technique, but effective." "Let's get him in the back." "What are you doing?" "I am preparing one of our greatest ninja tools, the laughing mushroom." "One pinch and he can't help but tell the truth about his business with TanIey." "careful, alison." "The effects of a tiny spore are profound." "Open his mouth." "I'm involved in counterfeiting some money!" "Big deal!" "If I get caught I couId do 30 years." "TanIey is a killer!" "He killed her sister." "When he's done, he'II probably kill you!" "When are you to meet him?" "Ten minutes." "And if you're here when he gets here, he'II probably kill all of us!" "I don't think we should." "I'm sorry." "I was...." "I wasn't trying to...." "I was merely trying to get close to the temple, not inside." "I just wanted to climb the steps and maybe peek at the sacred object." "Hey, how you doing?" "Chet waiters." "Mr. TanIey?" "Say, nice jacket." "Who shot the couch?" "Very funny, Mr. waiters." "Are you ready to go?" "You bet!" "Say, your buggy or mine?" "Mine, I think." "Gotta get the gear here." "Can't start an operation without the gear." "And here we are, off to the wild blue yonder." "You don't mind, do you?" "A small precaution." "No, if it makes you feel more comfortable." "I just want to know, how will you drive with that on?" "It's for you." "Of course it is." "Let's play Pin the tail on the Donkey!" "Who's got the pinata?" "Hear about a lady who backed into a van?" "Made a disaster." "Dis-assed-her!" "I don't care." "Okay, you bet." "Gotcha." "You betcha." "alrighty." "Here we go!" "TanIey, you pick up guys and do this all the time?" "Who's driving this buggy, anyhow?" "Let me guess." "Don't tell me." "Don't tell me." "carol Channing." "Mind if I borrow this next week?" "I got a blind date." "A blind date!" "Which way is he taking us?" "Through the Grand Canyon?" "Where did he learn to drive?" "Cooking school?" "Thank God we made it!" "Okay, Iet's take the blindfold off." "That's what she said." "She said!" "Don't you think I ought to do the work before you pay me?" "This is the real bill." "Print a proof copy by the end of the day." "I want it exactly like this." "Right." "No problem." "hold the phone a second." "old faithful!" "End of the day?" "You don't want it sooner?" "They don't call me the best for nothing, you know." "I'm standing there in a thong Speedo, hiking boots and a backpack." "You try catching a ride on 83rd Avenue, dressed like that in the middle of winter." "What happened?" "A bug must've bit me." "I got a brother in pest control." "BIindfoId him bring him over." "He'II nuke every cockroach and mosquito in this dump." "could we please get to work?" "Hey, I see you got the T-200 spIit-IeveI Barber ink printing press." "These came out when I was printing for the "Shave the whale" campaign." "You mean "Save the whale."" "Is that what you did with them?" "Nobu, keep an eye on him." "Maybe it was "Starve the whales"!" ""Starve the whales."" "Let's see what we got baking in the oven." "Not yet a match." "It looks like we are one degree celsius off on that magenta color." "I guess I'm going to have to quantify the 7-F reading on this and that would run it through with the surface-gravity viscosity." "I couId plug it into the marshall formula, and that would that would give me an accurate mix design." "To me, they're just a little bit off." "What I couId do on that is run a pap smear test and then tone it down a little bit." "hello, Mr. TanIey." "What the hell is that?" "You can see what I'm up against." "I've got to rethink my inks." "So what I couId do is I couId swing back to my shop and be gone not more than five minutes." "You could blindfold me if you'd Iike." "I liked that anyway." "How'd that get in there?" "Who are you?" "Chet waiters, ink specialist." "I am Haru of the Takagure dojo and if you value your life, you will...." "Come on, Iet's get him!" "Open this door!" "Let us out of here!" "Haru, you are truly the Great White Ninja." "Did I say ninja?" "I meant ninny." ""Haru, you are such a ninny."" "So what did you do with waiters?" "You may subject me to any torture you can think of but a ninja does not talk." "Ninja?" "You're a ninja?" "You're the big, fat ninja everyone's talking about." "Great White Ninja." "The meeting with the Kobudosai is arranged." "Good." "Tie him up and throw him in the van." "We'II get rid of him later." "You'II have to check your guns." "Kobudosai checked theirs." "My dove!" "Are you all right?" "I am fine." "Let me get this blindfold off." "It is in the spirit of harmony we meet here today." "It is important to our community an agreement be reached." "Stop squirming!" "I've got to get these ropes undone." "The ninja way is to visualize the straightness of the rope." "It will begin to untie itself." "Or a knife is good." "My suggestion is that you allow us to make your plates our plates." "Honored elder?" "You know I have great respect for you, Kumagi but I rule in favor of Mr. TanIey." "You won't get away with this!" "Yes, I will." "I'II make these criminals face the American justice system." "Be careful." "Where's the ninja gone?" "I don't know." "Never mind." "Let's go." "That's right." "The little Tokyo temple." "Wait." "Stop the van." "Stop the van!" "What a coincidence meeting you here." "allow me to give you a lift." "help me!" "You!" "Hands in the air!" "It's him!" "The white ninja!" "Do not shoot!" "I am on your side." "Come on, Iet's get him!" "Come on over here." "Get out of here!" "I got him!" "Open the door." "Keep his head down." "alison, what have I done?" "He's an idiot!" "I cannot do this anymore." "I had to escape from jail!" "I am coming home." "Do not be rash, Gobei." "Rash?" "He has made every mistake in the ninja book." "He is coming." "Hide behind those clouds." "I hate this!" "hello, Haru." "hello, sensei." "How are you, my son?" "I have tried, but I have failed." "That is never true." "I want so desperately to be a great ninja like Gobei, but" "You must stop comparing yourself to Gobei." "Why, sensei?" "He is the best ninja ever." "I hope that he knows that I Iove him." "AII I've ever wanted was his respect." "My son we would all be lucky to have a heart as big as yours." "In fact, Gobei will not become a great ninja, until he learns that lesson." "I tried to stop this mission because I feared for you." "But I was wrong." "You must continue." "I must?" "Yes." "Go." "Save alison." "It is your duty as a ninja." "You just called me a ninja." "Yes, I guess I did." "Go now." "Sorry." "I can do it." "Patrice, my car, please." "Joey, you're coming with me." "Who is stealing my shoes?" "There's no time to waste." "I'm with you." "Thanks, asshole." "My pleasure, sir." "What are we doing?" "Using my perfect ninja sense memory I will recreate the trip to TanIey's warehouse." "Drive, Joey." "Phat!" "I get to drive?" "AII right." "Come on." "We going like Morgan Freeman." "Now turn right." "There was a bump." "This is good." "There was a right after a bump." "A right after the bump." "Take off the blindfold!" "What's wrong with you?" "I know just where we are." "We are on the right track, Joey." "We're on the track, all right!" "I do not remember hearing thunder." "There's got to be a turn somewhere!" "Turn right, now!" "I'm turning!" "This is good." "I hear water." "Now turn right." "Now left, towards the water." "Yes!" "I think we're too close to the water." "I think we should go back." "You led us astray." "I didn't!" "I cannot swim!" "Joey!" "We're drifting!" "Something's touching my face!" "Joey, these sea creatures!" "help me!" "Head towards the mainland!" "mainland?" "Yes, the mainland!" "The sea is foamy." "You have wandered way off-course!" "The weather in America fluctuates violently." "Maybe we should go for cover." "Joey, what is that smell?" "Pina colada." "I Iike it." "You must listen to my directions." "I'm going where you said!" "If you cannot, I will have to drive." "You must listen at all times." "I'm sorry." "We must try it again." "And this time, Joey, you must follow my directions exactly." "Okay, no problem." "I'm ready." "Everybody in my family likes to drive" "You may drive now." "You may drive now." "Consider yourself very lucky." "You've lived 24 hours longer than anyone who's betrayed me." "So I brought you this present." "A little bang." "Don't worry." "You'II vaporize before you feel a thing." "I wish I'd killed you months ago." "The feeling's mutual." "The difference is I'm able to rectify my mistake." "Somebody help me!" "Joey, do not let up." "We are nowhere near our destination." "Take a left." "Joey!" "Why are we stopping here?" "So we have entered the serpent's lair." "You are a fragile boy." "Thank God I have a short sword." "Yeah!" "Yeah, you go, ninja boy!" "Yeah!" "Mr. Dojo Rising!" "Go for it!" "I made it." "well, if it isn't the Great White Ninja." "welcome back." "congratulations on making it this far but I'm afraid this is where your legend ends." "only when I have ceased to breathe will I be dead." "Get rid of him." "What are you doing here?" "I come to help you, brother." "This has always been my dream." "Let us kick some yakuza ass!" "That's right." "I can climb." "I can climb!" "So sorry, Gobei." "Don't you think you should go save alison?" "But can you manage without me?" "I will try." "Somebody help me!" "alison, is that you?" "Yes!" "help me!" "AII right!" "Hurry!" "please hurry!" "Stop!" "Can you come any closer?" "I will untie you." "There's no time." "There's a bomb in here." "alison, have no fear." "I will defuse the bomb." "I can see now." "It is simple." "Do you know what you're doing?" "There, I have done it!" "Your call cannot be completed as dialed." "Please check the number and dial again." "Oh, great." "We've just lost five minutes." "Brother!" "My dove, hang on!" "How much time is left?" "Four minutes." "Do not worry." "I will return." "I may not be the best ninja." "I may not be one with the universe." "But I'II tell you this:" "No one messes with my brother!" "Go!" "Yeah!" "Look out!" "So sorry." "Here I come!" "Are you all right, my brother?" "Yes, Haru." "nicely done, Joey." "Hurry!" "Martin TanIey." "I'm over here." "So now you are out of bullets." "Look out!" "Come on!" "Do not worry." "Forty seconds." "Get out of there, you!" "Thirty seconds!" "Hang in there, my dove." "In a few moments, you will be as free as a bird." "Are we dead?" "You did it." "I did?" "Yes." "Thank you, Haru." "Thank you." "I cannot say this has been an easy mission." "You are, without a doubt, the greatest ninja of all time." "believe it or not, there were times when I doubted myself." "What a fool I was." "Thanks, big brother." "It'II be all right." "You did good." "Thank you, big brother." "Sorry about your head." "I was going for TanIey." "Reports here are that a group of ninjas foiled an attempted counterfeiting operation." "I am live with one of those ninjas now." "This may be an odd question, but I thought that ninjas were Japanese and you seem to be black." "Do not be fooled by the color of my skin." "You're a TV reporter." "You've heard the legend of the Great black Ninja." "I haven't." "Is that you?" "Some say it is so." "You have done well, Haru." "I am proud." "Whether I am or am not the Great White Ninja you made me believe in myself." "Though it will sadden me to see you leave I am happy for you." "I realize that I will be of better use where they don't have many great ninjas." "I will return with my dove to the land of opportunity BeverIy hills." "Whether you're the chosen one or not I'd choose to fight alongside you anytime." "Here." "Good luck, my brother." "My arm!" "It's okay." "alison and I must leave." "Goodbye." "Goodbye!" "It's amazing." "I think he's really changed." "Stop!" "Stop!" "Are you Iistening--?" "Give me my medallion back!" "Hi, Gobei." "I am sorry, big brother!"