"(I Love Lucy theme music plays)" "(theme song ending)" "Well, good morning, dear." "Good morning." "Uh, Lucy..." "What?" "I know you must have a very good reason but, uh... you just dropped two cups of coffee out of the window, didn't you?" "No, I gave it to the painters on a scaffold out there." "Oh, I forgot, they're painting the building." "How about some breakfast for a non-painter?" "Yes, sir, coming right up." "Hello, Mrs. Foster?" "This is Ricky Ricardo." "Oh, good morning, how are you?" "Fine, thank you. ls Bill home?" "No, Bill's gone out of town for a few days." "Oh, I see." "Well, look, I might as well tell you." "Monday is our wedding anniversary..." "Oh?" "...and I want to get Lucy some real pearls, and, well, they're so darned 'spensive, you know, and-and Bill told me that you work at Joseph Jewelry Company, and, uh, well, sometimes they give the employees a discount" "and I thought that maybe, uh..." "I can save you 20%." "Twenty percent." " Honey... oh." " All right, Sam." "Yeah, that's right, Sam." "How do you want your eggs, scrambled or fried?" "Sam." "I'll talk to you later, Scrambled." "Scrambled." "Did Lucy just come in?" "That's right, Sam." "Well, look, why don't you come down to my apartment and we'll talk about it." "I'll be here for another half hour." "Okay, I'll do that, Sam." "Good-bye, Sam." "See you later." "Who was that?" "Uh..." "Sam." "He plays the tuba." "He's a tuba player, you know?" "Oh." "Scrambled." "Scrambled, yeah." "Morning, Lucy." "Hi." "How about some breakfast?" "Well..." "What will you have-- eggs, coffee, rice?" "Rice?" "Nobody eats rice for breakfast." "Well, I'm giving it to Ricky for a reason." "I don't get it." "Well, now, suppose you were my husband and I served you rice for breakfast." "What would you think?" "I think I'd eat at the drugstore from now on." "The rice is a symbol." "It means something." "Oh, you want him to stop by the Chinese laundry." "No, day after tomorrow is our wedding anniversary." "Oh, the rice is just a subtle reminder, huh?" "Mm-hmm, and if the rice doesn't get to him" "I have a lot of other things planned." "I have the date on the calendar circled, see?" "Well, that's subtle." "And I left my wedding ring by his plate." "Lucy... did you ever think of saying" ""Ricky, day after tomorrow is our wedding anniversary'?" "Oh, I wouldn't say a thing like that." "If he can't think of this by himself" "I'm just not interested." "Well, I can't stay and watch this tender little scene." "Let me know how you make out." "Okay." "Oh, sit down, honey." "Breakfast is all ready." "Good." "Rice." "Yeah, rice." "Honey, doesn't that rice remind you of anything?" "It sure does." "Makes me think of when I was a little boy in Cuba." "We used to eat rice for breakfast all the time." "Oh." "Sweet of you to think about it, honey." "Oh, that's all right." "Honey, what day is it?" "Saturday, why?" "Are you sure?" "Well, now, let me see." "Yesterday was Friday." "I know tomorrow is Sunday." "Friday, Saturday..." "Yeah, it's Saturday." "Well, I'm not sure." "I better check." "Yeah, it's Saturday, all right." "Well, I'm glad that's settled." "Oh, look, there's a big red circle around Monday." "I wonder what that's for." "Mm..." "Monday, huh?" "Yeah." "Can you think of anything important that happens on that day?" "No." "Oh, sure, I know." "That's the day they collect the garbage." "Lucy... how many times have I told you not to leave your wedding ring lying around?" "Honey, that little ring means a lot to you, doesn't it?" "It sure does, honey." "Cost me 50 bucks." "(humming "Wedding March")" "I..." "I got to go down and see Fred." "I'll see you later." " Hi, Luce." " Hi." "Ricky around anyplace?" "He just went downstairs to see you." "Oh, I've been up on the roof checking on the painters." "I'll catch him." " Okay." "There's nobody down in our apartment." "Are you sure he's looking for me?" "Sure." "That's what he said." "Well, maybe he's looking for me up on the roof." "Why don't you sit down and have a cup of coffee?" "He's got to come back." "No, thanks, I'll find him." "Okay." "(door closes)" "Did you find Fred?" "Uh... oh, yeah, yeah, I found him, yeah." "You sure must have had a lot to say to each other." "What do you mean?" "Well, you couldn't have said more than a couple of words." "Oh, well, you know he's busy with the painting and the stuff, you know, so I told him I'd talk to him tonight." " Mm-hmm." " See you later." "Bye, honey." "Listen, Ricky you know, that isn't the garbage collection day." "No, I wish I could figure out what that's circled for." "Look at that date again." "Are you sure that doesn't mean anything to you?" " No." " No?" "No." "Well, bye." "Bye." "Hey, Lucy, I can't find that guy anyplace." "Who are you looking for now?" "Ricky." "Ricky?" "You were just talking to him." "I was not." "Fred, what's the matter with you?" "Ricky just went out the front door and said he was talking to you a minute ago." "Just talked to me?" "Yeah." "Well, I better catch him." "Why?" "Because one of us has cracked his crock." "Hi." "Ethel, the strangest thing just happened." "What?" "Well, Ricky just told me he was downstairs talking to Fred a minute ago, and Fred was just here and said he hadn't seen Ricky all morning." "No!" "Yeah, why would Ricky make up a story like that?" "Where do you suppose he really was?" "Um..." "I got to go, Lucy, good-bye." "Ethel... what's the matter with you?" "What do you know?" "Look me in the eye." "Ethel!" "Look me in the eye." "You know something, don't you?" "Who, me?" "No, I don't know anything." " Ethel. .." " Now, Lucy..." "Ethel..." "If I..." "Oh, Lucy, I wasn't going to tell you but..." "I just saw Ricky coming out of..." "Now, I know he's got a reason." "I know there's a good explanation." "But where do you suppose Ricky was when he told you he was downstairs talking with Fred?" "Where?" "In the Fosters' apartment." "So what?" "Why wouldn't he want me to know he was talking to Bill Foster?" "Well, there's no reason except that Bill Foster is out of town." "So, Bill Foster's out of town." "I still don't why he wouldn't want me..." "Bill Foster's out of town?" "!" "Now, Lucy, don't jump to conclusions." "I'm not." "I'm not jumping to conclusions." "I trust Ricky." "That's good." "If Bill Foster's out of town and Grace Foster stayed here" "If Bill Foster's out of town and Grace Foster stayed here and Ricky said he was going down to talk to Fred and he went to Grace Foster's apartment instead he must have a good, simple logical explanation for it." "Oh, Lucy, you sure are sensible." "(wailing)" "Oh, now, Lucy..." "Lucy, don't cry." "(wailing gets louder)" "Oh, Lucy, you got to give Ricky a chance to explain." "(wailing)" "Oh, Lucy, you're much more attractive than Grace Foster." "I am?" "Oh, certainly." "You're much prettier than she is." "You got a better figure." "You got much more personality." "As a matter of fact" "Grace Foster hasn't got anything that you haven't got." "She has so." "What?" "She's got Ricky." "♪ You'll find your life will begin ♪" "♪ The very moment you're in Argentina ♪" "Yeah!" "♪ If you're romantic, senor ♪" "♪ Then you will surely adore Argentina ♪" "♪ You'll be as gay as can be ♪" "♪ If you will learn to si, si like a Latin ♪" "♪ For mister, soon as you learn ♪" "♪ Then you will never return to Manhattan ♪" "♪ When you hear "yo te amo" ♪" "♪ You'll want a kiss and then... ♪" "♪ If she should say "manana" ♪" "♪ It's just too late, you know you're gonna meet again ♪" "(singing in Spanish)" "♪ You will never forget Argentina ♪" "Yeah!" "♪ For there are rumbas and tangos to tickle your spine ♪" "♪ Moonlight and music and orchids and wine ♪" "♪ You'll want to stay... ♪" "♪ Down Argentina way!" "♪" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Pretty good, pretty good." "We... we finished together, for a change." "Hey, watch it, here comes the union." "ALL:" "Allah, Allah, Allah..." "Hey, Ricky." "Hello, Julie." "Listen, when I was in the office before some dame called." "She says her name is Grace Foster." "What are you whispering about?" "That's business." " Yeah?" " Yeah." "What kind of business?" "She says she can't come down to the club tonight and she wants you to go up to her apartment." "She says she'll phone you when the coast is clear." "Well, look, I can't tell you what it's all about, but it is business." "Business, huh?" "(chuckling)" "(imitates chuckle)" "What a character he is." "Hey, let's try that intro again, will you?" "Hi, Rick." "Oh, hiya, Fred." "I've been looking for you since yesterday morning." "What did you want?" "What do you mean what do I want?" "Well, Lucy told me you wanted to see me." "What do you want?" "Oh... (chuckling)" "I wasn't really looking for you, Fred." "I wanted to go down and see Grace Foster and I used you as an excuse." "Oh, yeah?" "No, not "Oh, yeah?"" "Monday is our wedding anniversary." "Tomorrow?" "Yeah." "And I want to get Lucy some real pearls and Grace is gonna get them for me at a discount." "I'm waiting for her to call me right now." "Ah, too bad." "I thought maybe something exciting was going to happen around here for once." "Lucy thinks that I've forgotten that it's our wedding anniversary, and she's been real grumpy." "Yeah, just forget an anniversary and they grump right up." "She won't even speak to me." "Oh?" "That's what I want you to do, Fred." "Don't worry, I'll look after it, Rick." "Thank you, old man." "Hello, Lucy." "Hi, Fred." "Well, I'll see you folks later." "(phone rings)" "Hello." "Hello, Ricky?" "This is Grace." "Can you talk?" "Oh, hello, Sam." "Yeah, that's right, Sam." "Oh... she left the room." "I can talk now." "I brought home a whole selection of pearls for you to choose from." "Oh, that's wonderful." "Does Lucy suspect anything yet?" "RICKY:" "No, not a thin'." "Oh, it would be terrible if she found out what we're up to." "GRACE:" "Oh, yeah, it would be awful!" "RICKY:" "Well, don't you worry." "I think we got her completely fooled." "GRACE:" "When can you come down?" "RICKY:" "I'll be down right away." "GRACE:" "Fine, I'll be waiting." "Oh, uh..." "I got to go down and see Fred." "Oh." "I'll see you later." "Lucy, I came up to see if you'd like..." "What's the matter with you?" "Oh, Ethel, it's all true." "I've lost him." "What?" "I listened on the extension." "Grace Foster asked him to come down and he flew to her waiting arms." "Oh, Lucy!" "I still can't believe that he chose her over me." "After all, don't 11 years of faithful service count for anything?" "Oh, you poor little thing." "You'd think if he was going to let me go like this he'd at least give me a gold watch." "Or a letter of recommendation." "Gee, Ricky and Grace Foster." "I got to see what's going on in that apartment right now." "How can I do it?" "Gee, that's a tough one." "You could... you could hang me by my heels and lower me out the window." "No!" "It's two floors down!" "Besides, I might drop you." "Oh, yeah." "No... no, there's just no way we can see what's going..." "Hey, wait a minute." "Why do we have to see?" "We still have ears, don't we?" "The furnace pipe." "The furnace pipe!" "The snooper's friend." "Let's go-- come on." "Here's a nice set." "How do you like these?" "Oh, these are beautiful." "Yeah, I'll take these." "Why don't you look at the rest?" "I've got all these cases full." "Oh, all right." "Here's one with three strands." "I'll just slip them on so you can see what they look like." "Oh, those are real pretty." "I'll take those." "Oh, wait a minute." "We've got lots more to look at." "All right." "Good old furnace pipe." "I can't hear anything." "Where can I turn up the volume?" "WOMAN:" "Albert!" "ALBERT:" "What?" "Lunch is ready." "All right." "4B is coming in good and clear." "Where's 2A?" "Come in, 2A, come in, 2A." "Over." "RICKY:" "Stand over here by the window, Grace so I can see you better." "GRACE:" "Well?" "RICKY:" "That's the most beautiful sight" "I've ever seen." "He always tells me to get away from the window." "He says I'm standing in his light." "GRACE:" "I'd always heard you Cubans were great flatterers." "WOMAN:" "Albert!" "ALBERT:" "What?" "Come and eat your lunch!" "I'll be there in a minute." "RICKY:" "What do you say, Grace?" "Let's open up another case." "GRACE:" "Okay." "They're up there drinking!" "You certainly know how to give expensive presents, Ricky." "Oh, well, what's money?" "After all, these are for the sweetest, most wonderful woman in the whole world." "Oh, what a guy." "Grace, you sure have been wonderful and I've finally made up my mind." "You have?" "Yeah, it's a tough choice to have to make but the one for me is..." "WOMAN:" "Albert!" "Is who?" "ls who?" "Albert, are you coming?" "!" "I told you I'd be there in a minute!" "Oh, for heaven's sake, Albert, go eat your lunch!" "Oh, I can't stand it, Ethel." "I can't stand it anymore." "I got to see what's going on." "Look-- the painters left their clothes here." "They always leave them over the weekend." "Well come on." "Why didn't I think of this before?" "Get into them!" "Oh, Grace, I can't make up my mind." "Those are real pretty but, you know, these are very pretty, too." "Well, you better look at them both again." "After all, if you're going to spend that much money, you want to be sure." "I'll try these on for you." "Okay, thank you." "What's the matter?" "Oh, will you help me get these unfastened, Ricky?" "Sure." "(pounding at door)" "Hey, hey, there's been an accident!" "Two guys are in trouble on the painters' scaffolding!" "Let's see if we can help them!" "Oh, oh, hold that rope!" "Hold the rope!" "Let's get them in here!" "Oh, my goodness, they've got the paint all over them and everything." " Watch it there." " Easy." " Watch it." " Careful." "Careful." " Lucy!" " Lucy?" "!" "Holy..." "Come on, get her in here!" "Lucy!" "Oh!" "Why is she so heavy?" "FRED:" "Well, the other guy's hanging on her feet." "Come on in." "Come on." "Get in." "Get the other fella now." "Hold it, hold it." "I wonder what makes this one so heavy?" "Oh, no wonder." "Ethel, have you lost your mind?" "What's the matter with you girls?" "Are you crazy or something?" "What's the matter with you?" "Sit down!" "Look at you!" "Lucy... what were you doing out there?" "I got a better question." "What are you doing in here?" "What are you doing in Grace Foster's apartment when her husband's out of town?" "Uh..." "Uh..." "Well, you both got the same story." "Now, listen, Lucy..." "Well, Grace, I guess we might as well tell her the whole truth." "I'm afraid so." "Yeah." "Lucy... this is going to be a terrible shock to you." "Well?" "Well, you know Grace works at Joseph Jewelry Company." "And you know how valuable pearls are." "Real pearls." "Well, she took all these pearls from the store-- thousands of dollars' worth." "There's enough in there for two people to run away to Mexico and live there for the rest of their lives." "You mean, you and-and..." "Yes." "Grace and I have finally decided that these are the pearls that I should buy you for your anniversary." "Anniversary!" "Anniversary!" "Yes!" "Anniversary!" "Happy anniversary, Lucy." "(all shouting)" "(I Love Lucy theme music plays)" "ANNOUNCER"." "The part of Grace Foster was played by Gloria Blondell." "I Love Lucy is a Desilu Production."