"With you it all seems simple." "Alone, I'm worthless." "I'm like a zero ;" "only useful with other numbers." "Priests are so wretched." "They spend their lives seeing God humiliated." "People make fun of me." "I'm like a wall covered with obscenities." "You're weary." "Weariness is an evil thought." "Suspend your visits." "I do more harm than good." "At first I didn't know what evil was." "I learned it from the moths of sinners." "No one knows better than a priest." "...the awful monotony of sin nbsp" "I can't talk to them." "I can only absolve or weep." "nbsp" "If one absolution in thirty did its work... the world would soon be converted." "nbsp" "You're silent tonight, Estelle" "Still no coffee at night, Father Donissan?" "No thanks, Dean nbsp" "I'll take mine in the next room." "nbsp" "I've been waiting for you." "I know" "I want the Bishop to return me to the monastery." "Please back me up." "Why?" "I don't belong here." "Parish work is too much for me." "My superiors thought so." "You do, too." "nbsp" "I'm willing to request your recall, but it's complicated." "Are you overtaxed here?" "Don't be childish." "The parish is too poor to feed a useless mouth." "Perhaps I could go to the Trappists for a while." "Trappists!" "You all want to go there!" "A monastery's no rest home." "nbsp" "What should I do?" "Now you're showing sense." "If you can't guide others, how can you judge yourself?" "You've been given a master ; me!" "I know it..." "You were allowed to take holy orders... despite your superior's doubts." "I am not totally incapable of parish work fitting my intelligence." "Luckily, my health..." "Health is God's gift." "I know its price too well." "Your strength and manual skills." "suggest you were meant for a humbler vocation." "It's never too late to admit an error." "Should you try something else, or return to your plow?" "I'm asking, not answering." "A man like me is easy to size up." "You're being tactful." "I'm eager to obey." "Don't keep me in suspense." "I know you're impatient." "But what you hope I'll say maybe be too great a temptation." "You want my decree." "Will you obey it?" "nbsp" "I'm not just a crude, ignorant priest, unable to make himself loved." "I was a poor seminary student." "nbsp" "It took a miracle... to get me admitted to the priesthood." "I lack intelligence, memory, diligence." "Yet I can't overcome my stubbornness." "Your submission touches me..." "I must have seemed cruel." "I'm going to be even more so." "Do you know whose hands you've put yourself in?" "Please..." "The hands of a man you don't respect!" "nbsp" "I seem to live like a wealthy layman." "You're ashamed of my leisurely ways, admit it." "You know fools praise my experience..." "You think it's sterile, of no use to anyone." "nbsp" "That's how you see it, no?" "nbsp" "The thought was unintentional..." "That's not an excuse." "nbsp" "Now you know my wicked mind... and now... nbsp" "My dear boy!" "nbsp" "I thought so!" "nbsp" "My boy, our Lord is not displeased with you... nbsp" "Burn this devilish thing tomorrow." "We'll find something better." "nbsp" "Your mortification is misplaced." "a proper priest wears white linen." "nbsp" "You know, my boy." "nbsp your opinion of me is by and large correct... nbsp but it errs on one point:" "I judge myself harshly." "I'm reaching my end empty-handed." "nbsp" "You're very different from me." "nbsp" "You've changed me!" "nbsp" "I sent for you dreaming naively of bringing in a young priest with poor grades, lacking the qualities I so prize, and shaping him." "This was a heavy burden to take on." "nbsp" "But you are shaping me!" "I need you!" "[i]They[/i] didn't see the gift the Holy Spirit gave you." "[i]They[/i] never see anything!" "God appoints us." "nbsp" "The spirit of strength is within you!" "nbsp" "Anyone but me, assuming he'd seen as clearly, wouldn't dare speak to you as I do." "Human prudence is a trap." "nbsp" "Truth will out." "Sanctity!" "nbsp" "My pronouncing that word pains you, I know." "You know what the word means ;" "a vocation, a calling." "You must climb to where God calls you, or be lost." "Except no human help." "Doubting your powers and God's aims led you into a blind alley." "I'm setting you back on your road." "nbsp" "I am giving you to those who will prey on you!" "nbsp" "May the Lord bless you!" "Allow me to withdraw." "Listening to you, I felt despair, but not any more." "nbsp" "Only you, God, may judge me as I am." "nbsp" "A man knows what is happening within him." "It's an impenetrable secret to anyone else." "nbsp" "Father Donissan?" "You'll be late." "nbsp" "Are you ill?" "No, Dean." "nbsp" "I won't be a minute." "nbsp" "It's me!" "nbsp" "What a situation!" "nbsp" "You come here at 1 A.M. after your father's visit..." "You deserve a spanking." "I'm tired." "I fell in the mud, I'm soaked." "nbsp" "My throat's dry from crying." "I was out of my mind." "They'd have ended by killing me." "What parents!" "They'll never see me again!" "Nonsense." "I've god money." "I can catch a train to Paris." "My aunt has a nice house and a grocery store." "I'll work for her and be very happy." "Are you of age?" "I will be, in time." "nbsp" "Let be stay!" "nbsp" "Stay?" "Where?" "They'll all be on our backs..." "including Gallet." "that damn Deputy!" "I was seeing him tomorrow with Dad." "Mouchette, I've god enough problems..." "I need time." "They say your furniture's the finest around." "nbsp" "Will you answer me?" "Answer what?" "Answer what!" "You can't move in here." "It'd stir up a storm." "It's late." "I'll take you part-way back." "I won't go to Campagne tonight." "Where'll you sleep?" "Here, by the road, anywhere..." "Do I care?" "Sleep wherever." "You should've give me time." "In a month, I'd have sold all this." "But your father threatened me..." "Because you blabbed, like at confession..." "Don't cry...please don't cry." "Why are you crying?" "nbsp" "I didn't mean what I said." "nbsp" "I can imagine your bully of a father..." "Did he whip you?" "nbsp" "I didn't tell him a thing." "nbsp" "Why wasn't I told?" "You wouldn't have believed me." "nbsp" "Come on, it's over." "nbsp" "You don't believe me?" "nbsp" "I don't believe you?" "nbsp" "I've done a lot of thinking in the last week." "But it all just became clear." "nbsp" "Life, that is." "nbsp" "I hardly knew myself..." "Me, Germaine..." "I take pleasure in anything, sunshine...any silly thing." "nbsp" "But deep down there's a longing for something else." "nbsp" "But what?" "Something you must have, nothing else matters." "nbsp" "We girls'd say:" ""He gets the prettiest ones"" "nbsp" "So I thought, "Why not me?" "It's my turn"" "nbsp" "And now my dad scared you..." "You're pitiful!" "nbsp" "What did I do wrong?" "nbsp" "Listen..." "If I can sell the mill at Brimeux, I'll have 30,000 francs after settling my debts." "nbsp 10,000 for you, 20,000 for me." "Keep your money." "You need it more than I do." "nbsp" "Alright, turn down my money." "nbsp" "But don't spit at me." "I'm not ashamed of poverty." "Neither am I. And I didn't ask for anything." "You didn't, but your father..." "What's that got to do with me?" "nbsp" "He lied ;" "I didn't give you away!" "nbsp" "Last night when he said that, I was furious!" "I could've stuck my scissors in my throut...to spite him!" "nbsp" "You two don't know me." "Trouble's just starting." "nbsp" "I'm wrong to get angry... nbsp" "Take me to Paris...anywhere... nbsp" "After the baby's born." "nbsp" "The baby!" "My father lied to you and you believed him." "nbsp" "Shut up!" "nbsp" "If he did, I'll break his neck!" "nbsp" "Once everything's sold, I'll find us a place." "nbsp" "Think I'll settle for a country cottage?" "nbsp" "At my age?" "For a life of rural excitement!" "nbsp" "If you don't want me, I have ideas of my own..." "I know the perfect man... nbsp" "Who?" "nbsp ...who'll refuse me nothing..." "he's rich...educated...a scientist... nbsp" "A Deputy..." "Yes, a Deputy." "Gallet!" "What a catch!" "nbsp" "He has two kids and an ambitous wife." "You have big ideas for your age!" "nbsp" "Well, your father sells lousy beer." "nbsp and you selll what you've got!" "Gallet's mistress..." "and under Papa's nose!" "He'll set me up in Paris." "Yes, with a pretty room and freedom!" "A Deputy's mistress... nbsp" "Next a Minister's..." "then the president's!" "nbsp" "Laugh!" "..." "Why not me?" "nbsp" "Alright...." "You can stay till tomorrow." "nbsp" "But tell me the truth;" "have you and Gallet...?" "nbsp" "Yes, I've slept with him." "nbsp" "Come here!" "nbsp" "Little bitch!" "nbsp" "What are you doing?" "nbsp" "Answer me!" "nbsp" "Put that down!" "nbsp" "You hear me, Mouchette?" "You're a pest!" "Why are you here?" "nbsp" "I'm pregnant." "It doesn't show yet." "How long?" "About 3 months." "You only admit it now?" ""Admit" Big word!" "nbsp" "Undress...in my office." "I'll freeze in there!" "nbsp" "I won't leave tonight." "nbsp" "I told Dad I was going to my aunt's nbsp" "Your wife's back tomorrow, no?" "Your rashness will be our ruin." "We used to only meet out of town." "Now you make up and lie." "Scared?" "nbsp" "Ever known women like me?" "nbsp" "It's fun to be beautiful." "A new suitor is always handsome." "But a suitor who never tires of us is even handsomer." "nbsp" "That's how you look at me." "nbsp" "Men are so sad." "nbsp" "We grow too used to them to notice." "nbsp" "You didn't examine me!" "I will now." "Another time." "Anyway, I know more about it than anyone." "nbsp" "In 6 months I'll be a "proud mother"," "This pregnancy seems unlikely." "nbsp" "You love me?" "nbsp" "I ask because of an idea I have." "nbsp" "What idea?" "Do you love me?" "Answer me!" "nbsp" "Don't give me that!" "Tell me you love me." "nbsp" "You don't dare say it?" "Scared?" "nbsp" "You hate me, but less than I do." "You don't know about self-hate." "nbsp" "About what?" "Hate and contempt..." "you've never felt that." "nbsp" "It's like an idea that you get..." "you want to sink... nbsp into a pit where the contempt of fools can't reach you." "I used to be afraid...of a word, a look, anything... nbsp" "That Rageot woman really hurt me once." "I was crossin the Planques bridge." "She grabbed her niece away, as if I had the plague." "nbsp" "You feel ashamed... nbsp" "Whoever you sleep with... nbsp" "Sometimes, at night, a few paces from my snoring father... nbsp" "I, scorned buy everyone, but for what?" "... nbsp" "I get up, I listen..." "my little body feels so strong... nbsp" "I go to the window, as if drawn by a voice outside... nbsp" "I wait..." "I'm ready... nbsp" "I must be insane... nbsp" "You're over emotional..." "Let me examine you..." "I've changed my mind." "nbsp" "All right." "I suspect you've been pregnant longer than you say." "nbsp" "There's no hiding from Science!" "I didn't lie to you." "It doesn't show yet." "nbsp" "I know you won't let me down." "What do you mean?" "I'm not stupid." "I know it's easy for you people." "One, two, three and it's gone." "nbsp" "Love won't make me lose my head." "What you're asking is illegal and I won't do it." "Then don't..." "I'll go to Boulogne!" "nbsp" "All I'm asking is a trifle!" "You can leave if you want." "nbsp" "Don't let me go." "nbsp" "Don't throw me out today." "nbsp" "Usually, I'm not scared..." "This is the first time." "nbsp" "I also want to apologize." "I was so unpleasant just now." "nbsp" "If you'd made me go, I'd have been back." "nbsp" "Because I need you." "Not for what you think." "nbsp" "Let's not squabble over a baby that'll never be born." "nbsp" "I need you because you're the only man I don't lie to." "nbsp" "Think that's nothing?" "You're wrong!" "nbsp" "I lie all the time, I can't help it." "nbsp" "Even as a kid I hated my lies." "nbsp" "With you I can be natural, as I want to be." "nbsp" "Why aren't we like animals?" "They live and die unthinkingly nbsp" "Oxen calmly chew hay before they're slaughtered." "nbsp" "I envy that." "nbsp" "If I'd put you out, where'd you have gone?" "nbsp" "To kill myself." "nbsp" "I pictured a place." "...at Vauroux pond to drown myself." "nbsp" "You can see the chateau from there." "nbsp" "It's silly, I know.." "nbsp" "What are you scared of?" "Sometimes my wife comes home without warning." "nbsp" "Do you believe in hell?" "nbsp" "Mouchette, don't be silly!" "nbsp" "Stop it!" "you can be so annoying!" "nbsp" "You believe in hell?" "nbsp" "Of course not." "nbsp" "I knew it." "nbsp" "You fear your wife, but not hell." "You're so stupid!" "nbsp" "Enough!" "Shut up or leave!" "nbsp" "Now you wish you'd put Mouchette out." "nbsp" "She'd be in the pond now." "her little mouth full of mud, safely silent." "nbsp" "Coward!" "nbsp" "You fear your wife, but not me!" "Why not me?" "nbsp" "Because you're a good girl." "nbsp" "No doubt." "From Mouchette you want only pleasure." "You just proved that." "nbsp" "But Mouchette's baby...!" "nbsp" "It's not my child!" "I didn't ask you to recognize it." "nbsp" "We're both at the bottom of the same pit." "nbsp" "What pit?" "Who suspects Mr. Gallet makes love to a girl of 16?" "nbsp" "Two-timing your wife here is half your fun." "nbsp" "You like troubled water." "nbsp" "In my Vauroux pond I see odd creatures.." "nbsp" "Like centipedes, only longer." "nbsp" "They float on the clear surface, then suddenly dive." "nbsp" "A cloud of mud rises." "We're like those bugs." "nbsp" "Hidden from the fools by a cloud:" "our big secret." "nbsp" "When you realize that, we'll love each other." "nbsp" "What do you mean?" "Listen:" "You're not the father!" "nbsp" "Guess who is?" "Cadignan...the Marquis de Cadignan!" "nbsp" "Kiss my hand!" "nbsp" "Go on, kiss my hand!" "nbsp" "It's the hand that killed him." "nbsp" "This is insane!" "nbsp" "You're upset and having an early pregnancy." "nbsp" "Is this a joke?" "nbsp" "Believe what you like!" "nbsp" "I killed him." "nbsp" "What day?" "The 27th" "What time?" "5 A.M. I can still see the clock." "nbsp" "I took his gun." "It was on the table." "I didn't know it was loaded." "nbsp" "I fired when the muzzle touched him." "nbsp" "Convinced now?" "nbsp" "The inquest is over, the verdict given." "I'm not judging you." "nbsp" "Seducing minors has its drawbacks." "nbsp" "I'm your friend." "You can talk to me." "nbsp" "You didn't go home on the night of the 26th?" "nbsp" "What a question!" "nbsp" "Your father?" "Asleep." "Sneaking out was easy." "How'd you get back?" "Same way." "nbsp" "But the next day, when they heard...?" "nbsp" "They thought it was suicide, as everyone did." "nbsp" "You killed him and ran away?" "To the pond, to wash my shoes." "nbsp" "I examined the body." "It looked like suicide." "Such close range..." "Under the chin..." "I was so much shorter than he... nbsp" "He came right toward me..." "He wasn't scared... nbsp" "It weighed too much on my mind." "nbsp" "You're mad!" "I don't believe a word of it!" "nbsp" "It's true!" "nbsp" "I can't live or breathe because of that awful lie." "nbsp" "Now I've told all!" "nbsp" "You had a bad dream, Mouchette." "nbsp" "If I doubt my own mind.." "what can I believe?" "nbsp" "Why reject the word of a repentant killer?" "I do repent." "nbsp" "If you doubt my "dream" I'll tell it to everyone." "nbsp" "Alright, let's drop it." "nbsp" "I scared you, huh?" "nbsp" "A bit." "You're so nervous and impulsive right now." "nbsp" "Don't worry." "I've seen nothing, heard nothing." "nbsp" "You've nothing to fear from anyone." "nbsp" "What's that mean?" "True or not, your story's like a dream." "No one saw you go out or come back." "No witnesses." "no bloodstans, no evidence." "It'd be just as silly if I said I did it." "nbsp" "Chatter, chatter..." "Be serious." "nbsp" "Think you deserve absolution?" "nbsp" "We'd give you God without confession, nbsp but God, He knows... nbsp" "We've a baby to baptize..." "Sunday." "That possible?" "Of course." "Father Donissan will do it." "nbsp" "What do you say that flusters our people so?" "nbsp" "When I talk of you, they can't meet my eye." "nbsp" "I'm sending you to Etapies to help the priest there retire." "nbsp" "nbsp" "It's 8 miles on foot along the road." "Dean, you're wanted..." "Coming!" "You like to walk, unless you want to take the train... nbsp" "I'll give you my coat." "You'll freeze in your cassock." "nbsp" "A dark night, eh?" "We're still a long way from daybreak." "Darkness draws folks together." "It daunts the wiliest." "nbsp" "If you met me by day, you'd pass right by." "nbsp" "Come from Etaples?" "Going where?" "nbsp" "To Campagne." "I won't go all the way." "We'll cut across country." "nbsp" "Thanks for your kindness and charity." "nbsp" "My cassock frightens some people." "Ignoramuses!" "Illiterate yokels!" "nbsp" "You see them at fairs and markets all over the North." "nbsp" "My uncle, my mother's brother, is a priest." "nbsp" "I know this area well." "Live around here?" "I don't live anywher.e I travel for a horse trader." "nbsp" "I was on the coast yesterday, but I'm moving inland." "nbsp" "No time to take root." "You married?" "To poverty." "I haven't time to think of that!" "nbsp" "I move around, never stay put." "nbsp" "Look out!" "nbsp" "Come, come... nbsp" "May the Lord repay your trouble." "He put you in my path when my courage flagged." "nbsp" "This has been a long..." "hard night for me, nbsp nbsp more than you can imagine." "Etaples to Campagne:" "10 miles of bad roads!" "nbsp" "My short-cut has saved us over a mile." "nbsp" "Here's the Chalindry road." "nbsp" "I won't go that far with you." "nbsp" "You in a hurry?" "nbsp" "I've already lost too much time." "nbsp" "If you like, we can spend the night at my place." "nbsp" "I mean... there's a hut at the edge of the woods..." "Belongs to a charcoal-burner." "We can make a fire." "nbsp" "Stop for a moment." "You've walked a long way." "nbsp" "You're worn out." "nbsp" "Forgive my weakness." "nbsp" "I'm ashamed to be seen like this." "nbsp" "A poor priest like me, trying... nbsp to solace the poor, to bolster their courage... nbsp when God deserts me.." "nbsp" "I saw you before, walking on all fours." "nbsp" "You saw me?" "nbsp" "Don't be embarrassed." "You're exhausted." "nbsp" "You've overdone it." "Patience..." "that's a good remedy, preacher." "nbsp" "Less drastic than some, but surer." "Patience... nbsp" "It's not fatigue." "I'm sturdy, I can fight a long time... nbsp but not against some things... nbsp" "Lean on me." "nbsp" "I'm your friend." "nbsp" "I love you dearly." "nbsp" "I have no friends." "nbsp" "Rest... nbsp" "I sought you..." "hanted you ardently... nbsp" "A friend's kiss." "nbsp" "A trifle!" "nbsp" "I've kissed others.." "lots of others!" "nbsp" "Want to know something?" "I kiss you all!" "nbsp" "You bear me in your flesh..." "None of you escapes me!" "nbsp" "I'm leaving you..." "You'll never see me again!" "nbsp" "Cling to your obstinacy!" "nbsp" "If you knew the fate your master plans for you..." "We alone are not fooled!" "We chose his hate, not his love!" "nbsp" "Why enlighten your muddy brain about this, nbsp cringing dog, enslaved brute?" "nbsp" "That's enough now!" "nbsp" "It's time we split up!" "nbsp" "What did you want of me?" "To test you..." "From now until you die." "nbsp" "God assigns the test." "I'll wait for it!" "nbsp" "I don't want to hear about it now..." "and from such a mouth!" "nbsp" "Seeing us is scary, eh?" "nbsp" "Look me in the eye..." "You'll recognize yourself!" "nbsp" "See how transparent you are?" "nbsp" "Back, Satan!" "nbsp" "To know oneself!" "nbsp" "See oneself!" "nbsp" "Who hasn't dreamed of such a vision?" "nbsp" "So perfect an image..." "Not like in a mirror!" "nbsp" "Every thought's there, from start to finish!" "nbsp" "Your conscience is trained to examine itself, nbsp but it can never achieve such insight!" "nbsp" "You can grasp only one thought at a time." "nbsp" "Man never fully knows what's going on in himself." "nbsp" "You see yourself in enigmas, not clearly!" "nbsp" "Look!" " nbsp" "All your thoughts are here, in detail... nbsp the endless web that links them... nbsp" "You know your whole life!" "nbsp" "Go away!" "nbsp" "How can you refuse such a vision?" "nbsp" "I don't need that!" "nbsp" "I don't want to know myself this way!" "nbsp" "I'm sure you already wish you did!" "nbsp" "Have I any time left?" "nbsp" "Answer me!" "nbsp" "Am I going to die here?" "nbsp" "Then if I live a day or 20 years, I'll tear your secret from you!" "nbsp" "I'll follow you if I must!" "I don't fear you!" "nbsp" "I'll nail you like an owl to the center of my prayer!" "nbsp" "Your prayers don't scare me!" "nbsp" "You were graced tonight." "nbsp" "You'll pay heavily for it..." "my dear exorcist!" "nbsp" "What grace?" "nbsp" "You'll see!" "nbsp" "What grace!" "nbsp" "Your curiousity lost you!" "nbsp" "You'll see a few others as you saw yourself." "nbsp" "I held you to my breast." "nbsp" "I took you in my arms." "nbsp" "I cradled you." "nbsp" "You will often fondle me, thinking you're fondling [i]the other!" "[/i] nbsp" "You are marked now... nbsp with the sign of my hatred!" "nbsp" "Who are you?" "What do you want?" "nbsp" "I'm a quarryman in St. Pre." "Feeling better?" "nbsp" "You'd fainted." "A horse dealer found you before I did." "nbsp" "The two of us put you here." "You saw him?" "He's here?" "nbsp" "Shall I call him?" "No thanks..." "I need to stretch my legs." "nbsp" "You know him?" "Who?" "..." "Yeah, last month he sold me two fillies." "nbsp" "We can walk a ways together." "nbsp" "If you're tired, get a carriage at Sansonnet's." "nbsp" "You alright?" "We're here, Father." "You go straight ahead." "I could come with you..." "No, the walk did me good." "nbsp" "You're back, Marquis?" "nbsp" "Oh, it's just you." "nbsp" "What do you want?" "Stopping people at this hour!" "nbsp" "I came the long way... nbsp" "Odd?" "Not really." "nbsp" "I can't sleep nights." "nbsp" "A man of God who hides in the bushes to peek at girls?" "nbsp" "You don't think it's funny!" "nbsp" "I love to laugh." "Is that forbidden?" "nbsp" "We don't have much to say." "nbsp" "You assume I just left my lover." "nbsp" "You're not entirely wrong." "nbsp" "Let's walk." "You have nothing to fear from me... nbsp" "I'm glad we met up..." "It's not too late... nbsp" "Maybe too soon." "nbsp" "I didn't seek you." "I came a long way round to meet you." "nbsp" "To draw you away; you know the dead man you await is not here." "nbsp" "What dead man?" "nbsp" "When I saw you..." "I saw God in your heart." "nbsp" "Don't be ashamed." "nbsp" "No sermons!" "They mean nothing to me." "nbsp" "Harsher ordeals await you." "nbsp" "How old are you?" "You should know, since you know so much!" "Till now you've lived like a child." "Who won't forgive a child?" "nbsp" "God helps us even in our madness." "nbsp" "Even when we curse Him, He supports us." "nbsp" "What do you want with a girl like me, a child?" "nbsp" "You won't meet many in your choirs like me." "nbsp" "You'll save on holy water!" "nbsp" "May your God spare you what I've been through!" "nbsp" "You feel special." "nbsp" "I think you've never left the beaten path." "nbsp" "Why did sin seem so worth the trouble to you?" "nbsp" "You're an odd priest." "So being evil is nothing..." "even if... nbsp" "Forget that." "nbsp" "To God, you are not guilty of that murder." "nbsp" "You are Satan's toy." "nbsp" "Satan!" "nbsp" "I have the power to see inside you." "nbsp" "I now know your story as well as you do, Germaine Malorthy." "nbsp" "I know every twist and turn, every thought... nbsp" "Pull yourself together... nbsp" "You're exhausted... nbsp" "You've said enough." "nbsp" "Said enough?" "What have I said?" "Nothing!" "nbsp" "You spoke at length... nbsp" "I spoke?" "nbsp" "That's impossible." "nbsp" "What right have you...?" "nbsp" "I have no right over you." "If God... nbsp" " God!" " nbsp" "God's a joke..." "God means nothing." "nbsp" "I didn't mean to offend you." "nbsp" "You lied to me just now?" "I said nothing." "Did I?" "nbsp" "You can't refuse to answer." "I must know." "nbsp" "To find out, I'll do anything you want... nbsp" "Now you know..." "I admitted everything... nbsp" "So what?" "I have nothing to fear." "nbsp" "Did I really talk in my sleep?" "nbsp" "I saw you." "As no other person was ever seen." "nbsp" "Now you can never escape me." "nbsp" "Does your sin horrify me?" "You offended God no more... nbsp ...than animals do..." "Your only sin was a foetus." "nbsp" "Look inside yourself.." "nbsp" "The vice you're so proud of has died there... nbsp" "Your heart's filled with self-loathing." "nbsp" "You've found only vain dreams.." "You think you've killed a man." "nbsp" "Poor girl!" "nbsp" "Later you crawled to a man baser than the first." "nbsp" "Whom you scorn and who fears you." "nbsp" "You can't escape him;" "you told of your crime." "nbsp" "I can't escape him..." "Yes, I can." "nbsp" "Whenever I want." "nbsp" "People thought me insane." "I didn't deny it." "I was waiting to be ready." "You never will be." "Think you're free?" "Only God could free you." "nbsp" "Your life repeats other lives, all alike." "nbsp" "Lived like troughs where cattle feed." "nbsp" "Your actions betray your heredity." "nbsp" "God lets me see those from whom you spring." "nbsp" "Truly..." "I have seen you in them, them in you." "nbsp" "All those faces blend into the face of vice." "nbsp" "Their actions become an act of murder." "nbsp" "Evil everywhere, that's your generation." "nbsp" "Hundreds of men and women linked by the same cancer... nbsp" "You saw yourself in your family, as one of the herd." "nbsp" "Nothing you've done was not done before." "No thought, that wasn't already buried with the dead." "nbsp" "Only age-old actions." "nbsp" "Not similar; exactly alike." "Not repeated; unique!" "nbsp" "You feel the vast deceit of your life?" "nbsp" "You hear the laughter of your deceiver?" "nbsp" "Your wretched ancestors have claimed you as their own." "nbsp" "And you surrender all." "nbsp" "You're feeding them your own life." "nbsp" "What can you do?" "They've left their sins in your child's heart." "nbsp" "Back already?" "Made a fool of myself again:" "I got lost." "nbsp" "You reached Etaples too late?" "Confession was over?" "There's more to it..." "Arrive late, alright, but not get there at all...?" "What will they say?" "nbsp" "Too bad." "I'll write to Etaples tonight." "nbsp" "I didn't lose my way." "nbsp" "I took the main road and left it only briefly." "nbsp" "By going straight ahead, I couldn't miss it, even at night." "I didn't get there." "Even stranger...worse..." "an ordeal awaited me." "nbsp" "Go on." "God twice let me see through a body to the soul." "Not by ordinary means, but..." "by a special grace... nbsp" "Which you see as a miracle?" "nbsp" "I think so." "nbsp" "Report it to your bishop." "nbsp" "I've awaited a supernatural sign of God's plan for you." "nbsp" "The sign has come." "Now I'm more puzzled than ever;" "the sign is ambiguous... nbsp the miracle isn't pure." "nbsp" "There's more." "I met Germaine Malorthy..." "I had a vision..." "a certainty...that she killed the Marquis de Cadignan." "Her only consolation is to revisit the places she can't forget... the silent walls where her mute witness waits... nbsp" "She confessed it all." "nbsp" "Harsher ordeals are in store for her." "nbsp" "She's desperate... nbsp" "It may outweigh her remorse... nbsp" "If you've misjudged and harmed that girl... what an awful responsibility!" "nbsp" "I can't let you behave like that in the parish." "nbsp" "I can't trust you!" "nbsp" "We must follow the infallible word and no other!" "nbsp" "Did you help her?" "That you, Germaine?" "It's me, Mother." "nbsp" "Cousin Georges took me to Viel..." "on his way to market." "nbsp" "At this time of day?" "nbsp" "He had a load of pigs..." "so I got a lift part-way." "nbsp" "You had no dinner." "I'll make coffee." "nbsp" "I'm tired, I just want to sleep." "Let me be." "nbsp" "You're a lunatic!" "nbsp" "What have you done?" "nbsp" "Do something!" "nbsp" "What have you done?" "nbsp" "I tried to restore her to God... nbsp" "Are you responsible...?" "What's happened?" "nbsp" "I tried to restore her to God... nbsp" "Bringing a dying girl to the altar..." "a relic from the past." "nbsp" "Father Donissan will enter the Trappist monastery." "nbsp" "Later we'll find a suitable parish for him." "nbsp" "You baffle me." "nbsp" "I'm used to wisdom from you." "Wisdom is the vice of the old." "nbsp" "Here's the "Imitation of Christ" with your annotations... nbsp" "You made it yours." "nbsp" "Soon there'll be no way I can help you." "nbsp" "No!" "I'll remember you even in Satan's arms." "nbsp" "I didn't teach you blasphemy." "nbsp" "That wasn't blasphemy." "nbsp" "I was shown man's misery and Satan's power for a reason." "nbsp" "You began with too much self-mortification." "nbsp" "You threw yourself into the ministry!" "nbsp" "You were pleased with yourself." "You should have found peace." "nbsp" "You haven't." "nbsp" "God never refuses peace." "You're rejecting it." "nbsp" "I suspect you've made some dangerous vow." "nbsp" "I've made no vow...no promise.." "nbsp barely a wish... nbsp" "It's poisoning your heart." "nbsp" "You like that picture, no?" "nbsp" "Very much." "nbsp" "So many souls possessed by sin..." "that enraged me." "nbsp" "To save them, I offered all I had... nbsp" "My life, first...it's not much..." "My salvation, if God wants it." "nbsp" "You risk damnation by straying from the path, as you've done." "nbsp" "The spirit of evil has entered your life." "Fools ignore such things, some priests daren't utter Satan's name!" "nbsp" "Inner life today is a battlefield of instincts." "nbsp" "Morality?" "Hygiene of the senses." "Temptation is a mere carnal appetite." "People want only what's pleasant and useful... nbsp" "There's nothing for a saint in such a world...or he's called mad!" "nbsp" "Are we truly so wretched?" "nbsp" "You're surely not meant for a cloister" "Your retreat will be a time of better trial and moral loneliness." "nbsp" "It will last longer than you think." "nbsp" "Hope is almost dead in you!" "nbsp" "You'll be alone on your chosen road!" "I didn't ask for that!" "Let me live and die in humility!" "nbsp" "What was begun here will not be finished!" "nbsp" "We'll miss you." "nbsp" "You weren't born to please." "The world hates your taste for strength..." "Will you ever vanquish the distrust, pity, and opposition... of others?" "They'll never let go of you." "nbsp" "Who'll stop me from being what I was?" "I attract no attention." "I've the reputation I deserve." "nbsp" "If you let me, I could pass unnoticed..." "Unnoticed!" "God's work in us is seldom what we expect." "He seems to get things wrong, to waste time." "nbsp" "God wears us down!" "nbsp" "How old I feel!" "nbsp" "And how...unsuited for it..." "I'll never learn to be old!" "nbsp" "Poor pastor of Lumbres..." "He's good for nothing!" "nbsp" "So many nights like last night, until the final night!" "nbsp" "I can no longer love." "nbsp" "Does my life have a meaning?" "nbsp" "Never any rest... nbsp" "They've pushed me to the brink... nbsp" "Beyond it...silence, nbsp true silence!" "nbsp" "To die... nbsp" "In the parlor, Father... nbsp" "It's Mr Havret, about his sick son." "nbsp" "Which one?" "nbsp" "Father, I've come to get you." "nbsp" "Since last night my son's been paralyzed." "nbsp" "The doctor said there's no hope; meningitis!" "nbsp" "My wife begged me to come for you We must go, Father." "nbsp" "It's not my parish." "nbsp" "You've a priest at Luzarnes." "nbsp" "I'm touched that Mrs Havret thought of me...poor woman!" "nbsp" "Let's go." "nbsp" "Marthe!" "I have to go to Luzarnes." "nbsp" "Not on an empty stomach..." "I'll make coffee." "nbsp" "Stay, Father, don't leave us!" "nbsp" "Pierre!" "nbsp" "I'm ashamed." "nbsp" "Forgive this poor woman's ignorance." "nbsp" "I have great esteem for you." "nbsp" "Pray for me!" "nbsp" "Don't tempt me!" "nbsp" "Let's go out." "nbsp" "I can't go on..." "I'm a poor priest... nbsp ...a wretched blind man... nbsp" "Don't say that..." "Your imagination, fatigue... nbsp" "Why'd I leave her...?" "nbsp" "What greater pain than the death of a child?" "Nothing's worse." "nbsp" "As I stood before her, I thought... nbsp" "What?" "nbsp" "Nothing... nbsp" "Only that inner voice... nbsp" "I knew..." "I still know.." "nbsp" "I'm sure that a word from me would have... nbsp revived... nbsp that dead child... nbsp" "Look at me, answer me frankly... nbsp" "Who stopped you from testing your power?" "nbsp" "I don't know... nbsp" "Follow me in, I'll find some excuse... nbsp" "Go to where the body lies... nbsp" "I'll try... nbsp" "You think me insane." "nbsp" "Not long ago, I'd have wished for it... nbsp" "Be careful, Sabroux..." "You haven't understood me." "nbsp" "He is there... nbsp" "He is in our conscience..." "He is our conscience!" "nbsp" "Men like you!" "nbsp" "Satan is prince of this world, he holds it in his hands." "nbsp" "He is here, victorious!" "nbsp" "You understand?" "nbsp" "We are conquered, I tell you." "nbsp" "And God is conquered with us." "nbsp" "What blasphemy!" "nbsp" "Leave me..." "Don't listen to me.." "nbsp" "Leave you!" "Nothing is impossible for a man like you." "nbsp" "I'll follow you." "God inspired you... nbsp" "Restore the child to its mother." "nbsp" "God is mocking me." "nbsp" "Say who is master, him or You?" "nbsp" "Show yourself before abandoning me forever!" "nbsp" "O Father, I would have sacrificed even eternal life!" "nbsp" "I accept Your sovreign decision." "nbsp" "He's alive!" "nbsp" "You are a saint!" "nbsp" "One day you'll know, you'll understand... nbsp" "I hope for your forgiveness..." "Forgive me... nbsp" "My God!" "Do not forsake me!" "nbsp" "Father Donissan will be glad to see you." "He's out just now." "nbsp" "He's visiting a sick child." "And you know how he is... nbsp" "Yes, I do..." "He arrived here by cart one evening, with his few possessions, a bedframe, some odds and ends, his clothes and books..." "It was very foggy..." "He had a hard time finding the village." "Next day, he rang the bells, so the village knew it had a priest." "nbsp" "The presbytery was in ruins." "nbsp" "The wind swept through the walls, nbsp" "Tons of rubble had to be removed." "nbsp" "He worked with the laborers, he fixed it all himself." "nbsp" "He hasn't changed." "nbsp" "I got here later." "nbsp to look after him and the house." "nbsp" "Downstairs, that is;" "I never go up to his room." "nbsp" "From the start, he said he'd deal with that himself." "nbsp" "I don't even make his bed." "nbsp" "He speaks of you every day." "nbsp" "Father... nbsp" "Your pain is barren, Satan." "nbsp" "When did I first yield?" "nbsp" "You suffered, nbsp you prayed with me." "nbsp" "Even that miracle... nbsp" "Don't mark our time, Lord." "nbsp" "Our attention wavers... nbsp" "Lord... nbsp if I'm still useful, nbsp don't take me from this world." "nbsp" "He's so pale!" "nbsp" "In the name of the Father, the son and the holy Ghost." "Amen." "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." "nbsp" "I confess to Almighty God, to Blessed Mary, ever Virgin, to St. Michael the Archangel, to Blessed John the Baptist, the Holy Apostles..." "Peter and Paul, and to all the Saints, and to you, Father, that I have sinned exceedingly in thought, word, deed, and omission..."