"Tom Dvir" " Win 7" "Mike Bonanno:" "ARE YOU READY?" "( chuckles ) I'M EXTREMELY HAPPY TO BE HERE" "BECAUSE TODAY IS A VERY HISTORIC OCCASION" "FOR ALL OF US AT DOW." "AND I AM GRATEFUL." "LET'S WALK THAT WAY." "I AM GRATEFUL." "Mike:" "YOU'RE EXTREMELY PLEASED AT THE" "I'M EXTREMELY PLEASED TO BE HERE." "YES, EXTREMELY PLEASED TO BE HERE, STEVE." "Mike:" "THIS IS MY FRIEND ANDY... ( door thuds )" " HI." "BONJOUR." " BONJOUR, MONSIEUR." "...AND MY NAME IS MIKE." "TODAY I'M HOLDING THE CAMERA." " AND IS IT OKAY IF" " Woman:" "YES." "SURE." " IT'S A GOOD THING TO KNOW." " EXACTLY." "Mike:" "ANDY IS ABOUT TO GO ON LIVE TELEVISION" "IN FRONT OF 300 MILLION PEOPLE." "THEY'RE GONNA THINK THAT HE REPRESENTS" "ONE OF THE LARGEST COMPANIES IN THE WORLD..." "WHICH HE DOESN'T." "AND THAT'S WHY HE LOOKS SO NERVOUS." "SHOULD I TYPICALLY JUST LOOK..." " Woman:" "YEAH." " ..." "RIGHT INTO THE CAMERA?" "OKAY." "( sighs, mutters ) LET'S SEE HERE." "Mike:" "ANDY'S ABOUT TO TELL A REALLY BIG LIE" "WHICH, UNFORTUNATELY," "IS GONNA WIPE $2 BILLION" "OFF ONE COMPANY'S STOCK PRICE." "BUT BEFORE I TELL YOU THIS STORY..." " ONE MINUTE." " ..." "I GUESS  ISHOULDTELLYOU" "HOW WE GOT OURSELVES INTO THIS SITUATION." "( big band music playing )" " HI, MY NAME'S MIKE." " AND I'M ANDY." "AND THIS IS A MOVIE IN WHICH THE TWO OF US..." "Both:" "FIX THE WORLD." "( yells )" "AREN'T WE FIXING THE WORLD?" " YES." " WELL, COME ON." " ( both laugh )" " I'M SCARED." " UH-HUH." " ( both laugh )" "NOW WHAT?" "Mike's voice:" "WHAT WE DO IS PASS OURSELVES OFF" "AS REPRESENTATIVES  OF BIG CORPORATIONS WE DON'T LIKE." "( mouse clicking )" "WE MAKE FAKE WEBSITES THEN WAIT FOR PEOPLE" "TO ACCIDENTALLY INVITE US TO CONFERENCES." "MY NAME IS FRED." "I'M FROM HALLIBURTON." "MY NAME IS HANNIFORD SCHMIDT." "I'M WITH THE WORLD TRADE ORGANIZATION." "I'M FROM ARIZONA." "MY NAME IS FRANCISCO GUERRERO." "ORBOLOO HOCHMANKS." "Hundreds of oil and gas executives were duped today." "Louisiana officials are taken for a ride by the Yes Men." " The Yes Men." " Man:" "The Yes Men, antiglobalization activists that travel the world pulling pranks at corporate events." "Man #2:" "...a bunch of lefty protestors world-renowned troublemakers..." "Sick, twisted, cruel" "Man:" "And what they do is they like  to take absurd ideas, and they present these ideas in all seriousness." "( all chuckle )" "The group has done this many times before." "They have a track record of getting away with it." "So how did this happen?" "Equity International says the imposters showed up..." "Mike:" "AT HOME IN OUR UNDERGROUND HEADQUARTERS," "IT WAS TIME TO START PLANNING OUR NEXT MISSION." "Tom Foreman:" "Tens of thousands of Iraqis have died." "Worries are growing among top government and business leaders about the surge of food riots" "Foreman:" "Markets continue to shake." "Unemployment is up." "Oil companies reported the highest profits in the history of the world." "Mike:" "BUT WITH SO MANY THINGS GOING WRONG," "WHO SHOULD WE GO AFTER NEXT?" "WE GOT OUR ANSWER WHEN  A TEXT MESSAGE ARRIVED." "( thuds )" "Mike:" "DOW CHEMICAL HAD" "JUST BOUGHT UNION CARBIDE," "A COMPANY THAT BECAME  INFAMOUS IN THE 1980s." "YOU REMEMBER THE 1980s" "CHALLENGER,  CHERNOBYL..." "BHOPAL." "BHOPAL?" "IN 1984 WHEN UNION CARBIDE'S" "PESTICIDE PLANT AT BHOPAL EXPLODED," "AT LEAST 5,000 PEOPLE DIED WITHIN WEEKS" "AND 100,000 MORE REMAIN SICK FOR LIFE." "IT WAS THE BIGGEST INDUSTRIAL DISASTER IN HISTORY," "BUT UNION CARBIDE SETTLED  WITH THE INDIAN GOVERNMENT" "FOR $470 MILLION," "MEANING MOST OF THE VICTIMS GOT LESS THAT $1,000 EACH." "Warren Anderson:" "NOW I JUST WANT TO SAY TO SHAREHOLDERS OF UNION CARBIDE" "THAT I AM CONFIDENT THAT THE VICTIMS" "CAN BE FAIRLY AND EQUITABLY COMPENSATED" "WITHOUT A MATERIAL ADVERSE AFFECT" "ON THE FINANCIAL CONDITION OF UNION CARBIDE CORPORATION." "Mike:" "THERE WAS LITTLE ADVERSE AFFECT ON THE SHAREHOLDERS" "BUT IN BHOPAL, PEOPLE CONTINUED TO SUFFER." "WHEN DOW ANNOUNCED IT WOULD BUY UNION CARBIDE," "THERE WAS FINALLY HOPE FOR JUSTICE." "DOW SAID IT WOULD  COMPENSATE VICTIMS OF CARBIDE'S PAST NEGLIGENCE" "AND PROMPTLY PAID  OVER $2 BILLION... ( record scratches ) ...TO 14 ASBESTOS PLAINTIFFS IN TEXAS." "DOW COULD DO FOR BHOPAL WHAT THEY'D DONE FOR TEXAS," "BUT WE KNEW THEY WOULDN'T." "SO WE DECIDED TO DO IT FOR THEM." "WE SET UP A FAKE DOW CHEMICAL WEBSITE," " AND WAITED..." " ( clock ticking ) ...AND WAITED." " THEN ONE DAY WEGOTOURCHANCE." " ( bell dings )" "Computer:" "You have mail." "Mike:" "WE'D JUST BEEN INVITED" "TO A CONFERENCE ON INTERNATIONAL FINANCE." "SOME OF THE BIGGEST BANKS IN THE WORLD WOULD BE THERE." "THESE WERE THE KIND OF BANKS WHO HELPED COMPANIES" "LIKE UNION CARBIDE AND DOW DO WHAT THEY DO." "A COMPANY MIGHT SAY" ""WE'RE GOING TO BUILD A SHODDY PLANT" "IN AN UNDERDEVELOPED COUNTRY" "WITH A CORRUPT LEGAL SYSTEM." "THE PLANT MIGHT EXPLODE AND PEOPLE MIGHT DIE," "BUT WE'LL MAKE A LOT OF MONEY."" "AND THE BANK COMES BACK AND SAYS," ""GREAT!" "SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN."" "WHAT COULD WE POSSIBLY DO" "TO SHOW BANKERS WHAT WAS WRONG  WITH THIS LOGIC?" "SO RIGHT NOW I'M PAINTING" "GILDA THE GILDED SKELETON" "ACTUALLY, THE GOLDEN SKELETON" "THAT WE'RE GOING TO USE IN THE DOW CHEMICAL LECTURE" "IN LONDON AT A FINANCIAL SERVICES CONFERENCE" "IN JUST A FEW SHORT DAYS." "THE ONLY GOOD SKELETON IS A GOLD SKELETON." "Mike:" "IN CASE GILDA DIDN'T SCARE THEM ENOUGH" "WE HAD A BACKUP PLAN." "WE RENTED A THEATRICAL PYROTECHNICS UNIT HERE" " SO THAT WE CAN..." " OH YEAH, THANK YOU." "...MAKE A BIG PUFF OF SMOKE" " AH!" " OH MY GOD." "Mike:" "WE ARE ON OUR WAY TO A CONFERENCE" "AND ERASTUS HAMM IS GOING TO BE SPEAKING" "AT THE CONFERENCE AS DOW CHEMICAL COMPANY." "Mike's voice:" "OUR PLAN WAS TO HAVE DOW DEMONSTRATE" "FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER" "EXACTLY HOW THEY CALCULATE THE CASH VALUE OF HUMAN LIFE." "WOULD THIS MAKE THE BANKERS THINK TWICE?" "IT WAS TIME  TO FIND OUT." "Andy:" "THANK YOU VERY MUCH." "ON MAY 1st WE ARE RELEASING THE BETA VERSION" "OF "ACCEPTABLE RISK,"" "THE WORLD'S FIRST MARKET-SMART RISK CALCULATOR," "TO HELP YOU FIND OUT INSTANTLY" "WHAT RISKS ARE OR ARE NOT ACCEPTABLE" "FROM A BOTTOM-LINE BUSINESS PERSPECTIVE." "WILL PROJECT X BE" "JUST ANOTHER SKELETON INHE CLOSET," "SOMETHING YOUR COMPANY COMES TO REGRET?" "OR WILL IT BE A GOLDEN SKELETON?" "COMPLEX CASE IS I.B.M.'S SALE" "OF TECHNOLOGY TO WORLD WAR II GERMANY" "FOR USE IN IDENTIFYING CERTAIN POPULATIONS." "THIS WAS VERY BAD, OF COURSE," "BUT NO ONE CAN DENY THEY WERE PROFITABLE." "AND ALTHOUGH THE ISSUE REMAINS A SKELETON IN THE CLOSET," "IN RETROSPECT, IT IS  QUITE CLEARLY GOLDEN." "NOW YOU MAY HAVE HEARD THE JOKE "HOW MANY AMERICANS" "DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHT BULB?" "12" "ONE TO CLIMB THE LADDER AND 11 TO FILE THE LAWSUIT."" "( all laugh )" ""WHAT ABOUT INDIANS?" "OH, JUST ONE."" "( silence )" "WE WOULD, OF COURSE, NEVER WISH TO IMPLY" "THAT AN INDIAN LIFE IS WORTH MORE OR LESS THAN ANOTHER." "I MYSELF BELIEVE IN THE SANCTITY OF ALL LIFE." "BUT THE MARKET HAS ITS OWN LOGIC," "AND IF WE'RE WILLING TO LIVE WITH IT," "WE MUST MAKE THE MOST OF THE CHOICES IT MAKES." "BECAUSE IF THERE'S ONE THING" "THAT WE AT DOW WANT YOU TO REMEMBER TODAY," "IT'S THAT THE ONLY GOOD SKELETON" "IS A GOLD SKELETON." " OOH!" " ( audience applauding )" "SURPRISE." "( chuckles )" "THIS IS GILDA." "SHE'S THE MASCOT" "FOR THE DOW "ACCEPTABLE RISK" PROGRAM." "GILDA IS HERE TO BASICALLY TELL YOU" "THAT IF YOU HAVE A SKELETON IN THE CLOSET," "IT MAY NOT BE JUST A SKELETON." "IT COULD VERY WELL BE A GOLDEN SKELETON AS WELL." "AND AS YOU MOVE INTO A FUTURE" "OF EVER-INCREASING COMPLEXITY" "AND EVER-INCREASING OPPORTUNITIES," "DOW ACCEPTABLE RISK CAN ASSURE YOU" "THAT YOUR TOUCH WILL BE THE MIDAS ONE." "( sneezes )" "AND I'D LIKE TO FINISH WITH A LITTLE POEM." ""I'D RATHER BE HANDSOME THAN HOMELY," "I'D RATHER BE YOUTHFUL THAN OLD," "IF I CAN'T HAVE A BUSHEL OF SILVER," "I'LL DO WITH A BARREL OF GOLD."" "SO THANK YOU VERY MUCH." "WE HOPE YOU COME UP" " AND GET A CLOSER LOOK." " ( applauding )" " ( murmuring )" " THANK YOU." " THANKS A LOT." " THANK YOU." "THANKS." "THANK YOU VERY MUCH." "HERE IS A KEYCHAIN." "THANK YOU VERY MUCH." "ABSOLUTELY." " THANK YOU." " UNFORTUNATELY, I DON'T HAVE A CARD ANYMORE," " I RAN OUT OF THEM." " OH WONDERFUL." "YES, YOU WERE ONE OF THE EARLIER SPEAKERS." " THANKS." " YES." "IT'S A PLEASURE." " THANK YOU." " IT WAS VERY INTERESTING." "IS IT APPLICABLE-- IS YOUR MODEL APPLICABLE TO ANYTHING?" "I MEAN, CAN WE USE IT IN RISK MANAGEMENT?" "OH, ABSOLUTELY." "YEAH YEAH YEAH." "I'LL HAVE OUR RISK-MANAGEMENT GUYS TAKE A LOOK AT IT," "'CAUSE WE DO A LOT OF INTERESTING THINGS." "WONDERFUL." "THIS IS INTERESTING" " THANKS A LOT." " THANK YOU." " OKAY, TAKE CARE." " YES, HELLO." "HELLO." " Andy:" "MM-HMM." " AND YOU" "Andy:" "THAT'S RIGHT." "( Andy laughs ) YEAH, WELL" " YEAH." " ( all chuckle )" " IS THAT RIGHT?" "WELL, THAT'S PRETTY MUCH" "YEAH, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I SAID." "IT'S" "DID YOU FIND THAT NOT" "OKAY." "Mike:" "REFRESHING?" "WE MEANT TO BE SHOCKING, NOT REFRESHINGLY HONEST." "TO US, THIS WAS ABOUT AS REFRESHING AS THE KOOL-AID IN JONESTOWN." "Man:" "The mass suicide and murder of more than 900 Americans  who took cyanide-laced fruit punch from their spiritual father and then laid down to die." "Mike:" "THAT'S THE THING ABOUT CULTS" "WHAT'S SHOCKING TO OUTSIDERS" "SEEMS NORMAL TO INSIDERS." "IS THIS WHY UNFETTERED GREED" "SEEMED NORMAL TO BANKERS?" "AND IF SO, WHO WAS THE CULT LEADER HERE?" "THIS IS MILTON FRIEDMAN." "WE WERE TOLD THAT  HE WAS THE WORLD'S" "MOST INFLUENTIAL ECONOMIST." "DID GOVERNMENT PLAY A ROLE IN THIS?" "VERY LITTLE." "ONLY BY KEEPING THE ROAD CLEAR" "FOR HUMAN GREED AND SELF-INTEREST" "TO PROMOTE THE WELFARE OF THE CONSUMER." "Mike:" "IN THIS BOOK, FRIEDMAN USED" "THE WORD FREEDOM 374 TIMES." "BUT BY FREEDOM, HE DIDN'T MEAN THIS." "HE MEANT THIS" "THE FREEDOM OF CORPORATIONS TO PROFIT," "NO MATTER THE RISK TO PEOPLE" "AND WITHOUT INTERFERENCE FROM GOVERNMENT." "DR. MILTON FRIEDMAN-- A SCIENTIST," "A CAREFUL THINKER AND A GREAT TEACHER" "George W. Bush:" "A HERO OF FREEDOM-- MILTON FRIEDMAN." "I SOUGHT OUT DR. FRIEDMAN" "AND HAD THE GREAT PLEASURE AND PRIVILEGE" "OF MEETING HIM AND HIS ECONOMIST WIFE ROSE." "WE'VE ALL BECOME FRIENDS," "AND NOW I CALL HIM MILTON." "Mike:" "IF WE WANTED TO UNDERSTAND THE BANKERS' MINDSET," "WE NEEDED TO FIND  THE GURU OF GREED." "THERE WAS ONLY ONE PROBLEM." " ( church bell gongs ) - ( wind gusting )" "Mike:" "BUT THOUGH FRIEDMAN HAD NOW ASCENDED," "HIS FOLLOWERS CARRIED THE FLAME." "OKAY, SO WE SHOULD GO IN THERE?" " Man:" "YEAH." " GREAT." "THANK YOU." "UNCLE MILTY I CALL HIM." "Mike:" "THESE GUYS BELONG TO FREE-MARKET THINK TANKS" "WHICH HAVE SPENT BILLIONS OF CORPORATE DOLLARS" "TRYING TO MAKE US ALL BELIEVE" "THAT IF WE JUST  LET CORPORATIONS DO WHAT THEY WANT," "EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT GREAT." "Andy:" "WE'RE KIND OF ON A QUEST." "WE WANT TO FIX THE WORLD" "AND WE WANT TO KNOW HOW TO DO IT." "PRIVATE PROPERTY, RULE OF LAW" "AND A MARKET UNRESTRICTED" "BY GOVERNMENT REGULATION AND CONTROL." "WHEN WE SEE COMPANIES DEMONIZED," "WE SHOULD WORK AGAINST THAT." "WHEN WE SEE THE FREE-MARKET SYSTEM CASTIGATED" "WE MUST WORK  AGAINST THAT." "MORE WEALTH LEADS TO GREATER EFFICIENCY," "GREATER INNOVATION" "AND, BASICALLY, ALL GOOD THINGS." " WEALTH." " MONEY." " PRIVATIZATION." " WEALTH." " MONEY." " INDIVIDUALIST FREEDOM." " PRIVATIZATION." " FREE MARKETS." " OWNERSHIP." " AND A GREAT DEAL OF MONEY." "CAPITALISM AND FREEDOM." "WEALTH AND PROSPERITY." "( choir singing )" "Mike:" "WE WERE GETTING THE MESSAGE," "AND SO WERE MILLIONS OF OTHERS." "THESE GUYS SPREAD FRIEDMAN'S  FREE-MARKET GOSPEL" "BY ANY MEANS THAT THEY CAN," "LIKE SPEAKING TO CONGRESS," "VIRAL VIDEOS" "AND GUEST SPOTS ON SUNDAY MORNING TALK SHOWS." "THEY CLAIM TO HAVE DERAILED THE KYOTO PROTOCOL" "AND TO HAVE HELPED DESTROY REGULATION" "AROUND HOUSING, BANKING, ENERGY" "AND THE ENVIRONMENT." "THEY AGREED TO MEET PRETTY MUCH ANYONE  WITH A CAMERA..." " EVEN US." " ( singing continues )" "YOU SEE THERE'S A BLUE SCREEN BEHIND YOU." "WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE PUT IN FRONT OF?" "A PLANET EARTH." "OH COOL, A BLUE SCREEN." "I'D SAY THE JEFFERSON MONUMENT." " HOW ABOUT JEFFERSON MEMORIAL?" " IT'S ALREADY TAKEN." " OH, IT IS TAKEN." "SHIT." " Andy:" "SOMEBODY ELSE..." "I'M SURE YOU HAVE A GOOD BACKDROP" " OF WASHINGTON." " ( fireworks zoom )" "DON'T PUT ME IN FRONT OF ANYTHING IN WASHINGTON." "I HATE WASHINGTON." "PUT UP A SCENE IN OUTER SPACE OR SOMETHING." "I WOULD SAY A WORLD IN WHICH" "MAN IS TREATED AS AN END IN HIMSELF" "RATHER THAN A TOOL TO BE MANIPULATED" "BY THOSE WITH POLITICAL POWER." "HOW CAN WE REPRESENT THAT?" "IS THERE A SINGLE IMAGE OR..." "A SERIES OF IMAGES?" "I THINK THAT THE IMAGES ARE" "OF MEN" "JUST THE PROSPERITY OF FREE MEN" "FOLLOWING WHAT THEIR HEARTS AND DESIRES" "LEAD THEM TOO." " I THINK WE CAN FIND THAT." " SOUNDS GOOD." "Mike:" "NOW THAT WE HAD OUR NEW FRIENDS AT EASE" "IT WAS TIME TO ASK THEM THE REALLY TOUGH QUESTIONS." "WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO PEOPLE WHO HARP ON" "THE BHOPAL CATASTROPHE OR OTHER TRAGEDIES?" "Man:" "BHOPAL IS AN INTERESTING EXAMPLE." "THAT FACILITY HAD CREATED EDUCATIONAL OPPORTUNITIES" "FOR AN INDIAN EMERGING TECHNOCRATIC CLASS." "IT HAD CREATED VALUE ADDED" "AND TAX BASE FOR THE COMMUNITY," "AND SOMETHING LIKE 3,000 PEOPLE DIED." "THAT'S A TRAGEDY, BUT THERE ARE ALWAYS RISKS" "OF GOING INTO THE FUTURE." "Mike:" ""THERE ARE ALWAYS RISKS OF GOING INTO THE FUTURE"?" "FOR THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE IN BHOPAL," "THERE WAS NO FUTURE." "AT LEAST THE JONESTOWN SUICIDE CULT" "KILLED ONLY THEMSELVES." "THE FREE MARKETEERS SEEMED WILLING" "TO PUT EVERYONE ELSE AT RISK." " BACK AT HOME..." " Computer:" "You have new mail." "...WE HAD MAIL." "IT TURNED OUT" "OUR DOW SITE WAS THE GIFT THAT KEPT ON GIVING." "THIS TIME IT WASN'T A MERE CONFERENCE" "WE'D HIT THE JACKPOT." "THE B.B.C., PERHAPS THE WORLD'S" "MOST-RESPECTED NEWS ORGANIZATION," "WAS DOING A BIG BROADCAST ABOUT BHOPAL" "AND THEY WANTED TO KNOW" "WHETHER DOW MIGHT FINALLY CLEAN UP THEIR MESS." "THE INTERVIEW, THEY SAID, WOULD BE BROADCAST" "TO 300 MILLION PEOPLE." "THIS WAS WHAT WE'D BEEN WAITING FOR." "TO THE B.B.C.'S GREAT SURPRISE," "DOW EMAILED BACK TO SAY THEY WOULD BE DELIGHTED" "TO SPEAK PUBLICLY ABOUT THE CATASTROPHE." "AS FOR US, 300 MILLION PEOPLE" "WAS ABOUT A MILLION TIMES BIGGER" "THAN ANY OTHER AUDIENCE WE'D EVER HAD." "WE WERE SCARED." "SO WE ASKED THE B.B.C. IF," "INSTEAD OF COMING TO THEIR HEADQUARTERS IN LONDON," "WE COULD MEET THEM IN NEUTRAL TERRITORY" "THE ORIGINAL LAND OF REVOLUTION." " ( crowd cheers ) - ( laughing )" " Mike:" "ARE YOU ALITTLENERVOUS?" " I'M SO NERVOUS." "OH GOD, IT'S LIKE GOING TO THE GUILLOTINE." "I THINK IT'S RIGHT NEAR WHERE THEY USED TO HAVE" "THE GUILLOTINE, TOO, IN PARIS" "THE OFFICE." "MMM." "YEAH, I THINK IT'S THE BIGGEST THING WE'VE EVER DONE" "THIS." "I HAVEN'T COMBED MY HAIR IN LIKE..." " Mike: 100 YEARS?" " ...20 YEARS." "YEAH, REALLY." "I THINK I USED TO DO IT THIS WAY." "ALL RIGHT." "( whispers ) WE'RE OFF." "OH GOD." "OH GOD." "WHEN WE ACQUIRED UNION CARBIDE THREE YEARS AGO," "WE KNEW WHAT WE WERE GETTING INTO." "TODAY WE ARE PREPARED TO DO THE OBVIOUS." "( sighs ) LET'S SEE." "DON'T SHOW TOO MUCH WHEN WE GET THERE, I THINK." "( door thuds )" " HI." "BONJOUR." " BONJOUR, MONSIEUR." "You're watching BBC World, our main headlines." "The world's worst industrial accident is being remembered in India today." "It's 20 years since deadly gas leaked from the Union Carbide chemical plant in the city of Bhopal." "At least 18,000 deaths are attributed to the leak, and many local people say that the contamination  has never been properly cleared up." "YEAH, SHOULD I TYPICALLY JUST LOOK..." " Woman:" "YEAH." " ..." "RIGHT INTO THE CAMERA?" "OKAY." "The factory still exists here and that's been a real problem for the people living here locally." "The site-- I've been to it, and it's full of toxic waste." "People who are living in these houses, they've all got a story to tell about that day 20 years ago." "Many of them lost members of their family, and they say they are continuing to suffer because of the tragedy." "And they're saying somebody needs to answer for this." "Legally, what they're saying is they want to pursue the company to try and clean up the site." "But whether the company will accept liability seems doubtful." "Well, joining us live from Paris now is Jude Finisterra." "He's a spokesman for Dow Chemicals, which took over Union Carbide." "Good morning to you." "A day of commemoration in Bhopal." "Do you now accept responsibility for what happened?" "Steve, yes, today is a great day for all of us at Dow and, I think, for millions of people around the world as well." "It's 20 years since the disaster and today I'm very very happy to announce that for the first time Dow is accepting full responsibility for the Bhopal catastrophe." "We have a $12 billion plan to finally, at long last, fully compensate the victims, including the 120,000 who may need medical care for their entire lives," "AND TO FULLY AND SWIFTLY" "REMEDIATE THE BHOPAL PLANT SITE." "Now when we acquired Union Carbide three years ago we knew what we were getting, and it's worth $12 billion." "$12 billion." "We have resolved to liquidate Union Carbide-- this nightmare for the world and this headache for Dow-- and use the $12 billion" "TO ADEQUATELY COMPENSATE THE VICTIMS." "Jude, that's good news that you have finally accepted responsibility-- some people would say too late." "It's three years, almost four years on." "When we acquired Union Carbide we did settle their liabilities in the United States immediately." "And we are now-- three years later-- prepared to do the same in India." "We should have done it three years ago." "We are doing it now." "I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO SAY THAT THIS IS NO SMALL MATTER." "THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN HISTORY that a publicly-owned company of anything near the size of Dow has performed an action which is significantly against its bottom line, simply because it's the right thing to do." "Our shareholders may take a bit of a hit, Steve, but I think that if they're anything like me, they will be ecstatic to be part of such a historic occasion of doing right by those that we've wronged." "Just to reiterate what Jude Finisterra, the spokesman for Dow Chemicals, has just said:" "he says Dow Chemicals now fully accept responsibility for the events in Bhopal." " GREAT." "THAT'S IT?" " WELL DONE." "GREAT." "NOW THEY WANTED..." " NOW YOU DO-- - ..." "RADIO." "I CAN TELL YOU ONE THING:" "WE'RE NOT GOING OUT OF BUSINESS." "WE WILL CONTINUE TO MAKE PROFIT;" "WE WILL SIMPLY MAKE SLIGHTLY LESS PROFIT THAN NORMAL." "BUT WE ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING." "WE'RE COMPARING HERE THE VALUE OF MONEY" "TO THE VALUE OF HUMAN LIFE," "AND THERE IS NO COMPARISON." "( woman speaks )" "EXACTLY." "I MEAN, HOW OFTEN DOES DOW GET TO" " YOU KNOW." "( chuckles ) I WOULDN'T WANT TO BE" "A DOW SPOKESPERSON OTHERWISE." "GOOD." "OH MY GOD." "OH MY GOD." "I'M GONNA HAVE A SERIOUS NERVOUS BREAKDOWN NOW." ""DOW ACCEPTS RESPONSIBILITY FOR BHOPAL" " SPOKESMAN."" " Mike:" "WHERE'S THAT?" " Andy:" "IN REUTERS." ""CONGRATULATIONS." "YOUR APPEARANCE" "EVERYONE HERE AT B.B.C. CHEERED."" "IT'S OVER AN HOUR AND IT'S STILL HEADLINE NEWS." "HELLO, THIS IS JUDE." "WHO HAS SAID THAT?" "PERHAPS THEY'RE NOT IN COMMUNICATION" "WITH THE DOW-- WITH THE DOW LEADERSHIP." "( phone rings )" "HELLO?" "YES, THIS IS JUDE FINISTERRA." "SURE." "RIGHT." "SURE." "RIGHT." "LET ME JUST" "YES, COULD I ASK YOU TO EITHER" "TO HOLD FOR A MOMENT?" "OKAY, THANK YOU." "( whispering )" "WELL, I WOULDN'T SAY IT'S A HOAX." "IT'S AN HONEST REPRESENTATION" "OF WHAT DOW SHOULD BE DOING." "Maria Ashanin:" "This morning a false statement was carried by BBC World regarding responsibility for the Bhopal tragedy." "The individual who made this statement identified himself as a Dow spokesperson  named Jude Finisterra." "Dow confirms that there was no basis whatsoever for this report." "Well, earlier today we carried an interview with someone purporting to be from Dow Chemical, a company which subsequently bought the plant from Union Carbide." "This interview was inaccurate and part of an elaborate deception." "Andy:" "TAKE A LOOK AT THIS NOW" "LOOK AT THIS." "THIS IS THE TOP OF GOOGLE NEWS." ""DOW SAID ON FRIDAY THERE WAS NO BASIS WHATSOEVER" "IN A B.B.C. WORLD REPORT SAYING THEY HAD ACCEPTED RESPONSIBILITY" "FOR INDIA'S BHOPAL DISASTER."" "THAT'S A FUNNY SENTENCE." "The hoax was an elaborate one involving a fake website." "Down Chemical was quick to issue a series of statements denying all knowledge of Jude Finisterra." "Also tonight, backtracking because of this man..." "WE'RE GOING BACK TO THE B.B.C. TELEVISION STUDIO RIGHT NOW" "THAT WE WERE AT THIS MORNING" "BECAUSE THEY WANT TO TALK TO US." "OKAY, WHAT DO THEY WANT TO KNOW?" "WELL, LET'S GO SEE." "( woman speaks )" " YEAH." " HI." " HI." "SORRY." " ( all laugh )" "( man speaks )" "IT DIDN'T OCCUR TO US AT ALL." "WE GOT CONTACTED BY YOU GUYS." "( man speaks )" " YEAH, I DID HEAR THAT." "HAS IT GONE BACK UP?" " Man:" "I'M SURE IT HAS." "Well, the prank which briefly knocked 3% off" "Dow shares comes 20 years to the day after the chemical leak from the Union Carbide plant in Bhopal." "Man:" "Today's unlikely corporate humiliation  of a US chemical giant was all about reminding the world  that Bhopal remains an unhealed sore." "Well, earlier I spoke to Andy Bichlbaum and I asked him what he did when he got an email from the BBC asking him for an interview." "Essentially, Dow has been promulgating a hoax by which they've convinced people that they can't do anything about Bhopal, that they cannot accept responsibility." "And we wanted to prove that that was not accurate." "Nevertheless, a pretty cruel trick to play on the people of Bhopal." " Well, we" " Did you think about the people of Bhopal when you decided to peddle this stunt?" "Yes." "Yes, we did." "Well, that surely is the tragedy of today." "You spring upon them the hoax that they-- they actually suddenly believe that they have got a payout from Dow, then an hour or two later they find it's untrue." "Let's put this in contrast:" "We may have given people two hours of false hope," "Dow has given them 20 years of suffering." "I mean this is what we're faced with." "Are you expecting the next knock at the door to be Dow's lawyer?" "No idea what Dow will do." "Mike:" "DOW'S LAWYERS DIDN'T CALL." "AND MILLIONS OF PEOPLE LEARNED FOR THE FIRST TIME" "THAT 20 YEARS ON, BHOPAL WAS NEVER CLEED UP." "BUT THE MEDIA ALSO REPORTED" "THAT MANY OF THE VICTIMS IN BHOPAL" "CRIED TEARS OF JOY UPON HEARING THE NEWS." "AND WERE THEN BITTERLY DISAPPOINTED." "HAD WE ACTUALLY UPSET THE PEOPLE WE'D MEANT TO HELP?" "THERE WAS ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT." "HERE WE ARE." "WE'RE IN INDIA." " Both:" "HEY." " ( car honks )" "Mike:" "AND THIS IS BHOPAL." "BHOPAL IS A BIG CITY." "THERE'S OVER A MILLION PEOPLE HERE." "UNFORTUNATELY WE HEARD FROM A LOT OF NEWS REPORTS" "THAT THE VICTIMS HERE IN BHOPAL" "WERE EXTREMELY UPSET" "BECAUSE WE HAD RAISED FALSE HOPES" "ABOUT THEM ACTUALLY GETTING SOME COMPENSATION" "AFTER 21 YEARS." "WHAT DO YOU THINK THEY'LL DO?" "WELL, I DON'T KNOW." "WHAT'S THE LOCAL CUSTOM HERE?" "( yelling in Hindi )" " ( mimicking choking ) - ( laughing )" "Mike:" "WE'RE HERE AT THE SAMBHAVNA CLINIC" "AND THIS PLACE WAS SET UP BY A BUNCH OF PEOPLE" "TO HELP TREAT THE GAS VICTIMS" "OF THE WORST INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENT IN HISTORY." "Rachna Dhingra:" "SO PATIENTS COME IN FROM HERE." "THIS IS A FORM, BASICALLY," "WHERE WE DETERMINE THEIR HISTORY OF GAS EXPOSURE" "HOW FAR THEY WERE LIVING" "OR WERE THEY SLEEPING IN A TENT THAT NIGHT?" "AND THEN THEIR SEVERITY GRADE IS DETERMINED." "THESE ARE SOME OF THE DISABLED CHILDREN." "EVERY SYSTEM OF THE BODY HAS BEEN AFFECTED" "THE MUSCULOSKELETAL, THE NERVOUS SYSTEM." "40% OF THE WOMEN COMING HERE UNDER 40 HAVE MENOPAUSE." "YEAH." " THIS IS SATHYU." " HEY." "HEY." "OH MY GOD." " I AM GLAD TO SEE YOU." " HEY." "( chuckles ) HEY." "Sathyu:" "WE GOT THE NEWS THAT DOW WAS WILLING" "TO PAY $12 BILLION." "AT FIRST WE JUST" "WE FELT THE NEWS WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE..." " UH-HUH." " ..." "AND DOW WAS TOO BAD FOR THE NEWS TO BE TRUE." " YEAH." " STILL, WE THOUGHT MAYBE IT IS TRUE," "MAYBE THEY'RE JUST SEEING SENSE IN THIS." "FOR ABOUT AN HOUR WE WERE UNDER THAT IMPRESSION." "YEAH." "DID PEOPLE CRY..." " WITH JOY?" " I CRIED." " OH NO." " LOTS OF PEOPLE CRIED." "WERE YOU KIND OF ANGRY AT FIRST, THOUGH," " WHEN YOU HEARD IT WAS A HOAX?" " NO, I WASN'T ANGRY." "NO." "WOW." " DO YOU THINK IT WAS WORTH IT?" " TOTALLY WORTH IT." "WE ARE SAYING NO MORE BHOPAL." "WHAT PEOPLE HAVE GONE THROUGH HERE," "NO ONE ELSE IN THE WORLD SHOULD GO THROUGH THIS." "I THINK WE'RE IN SHIVAJI NAGAR" "AND IT'S BEEN A LITTLE BIT OF A" "A BIT OF A" "WELL, A BIT OF A" "A MAZE GETTING HERE." "A LITTLE-- WHAT DO YOU CALL THAT?" "WE GOT LOST." "THAT'S WHAT IT'S CALLED." "WE'RE TRYING TO MEET UP WITH A JOURNALIST" "TO INTERVIEW AND WE GOT LOST." "HERE HE IS." "HERE HE IS." "OH MY GOD." "Mike's voice:" "RAJKUMAR KESWANI BROKE THE DISASTER STORY." "IN FACT, HE BROKE IT YEARS BEFORE IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED." "SO YOU HAD ALREADY PREDICTED HOW MANY TIMES" "THAT THE DISASTER WOULD HAPPEN BEFORE IT HAPPENED?" "WHEN YOU HEARD IT WAS A HOAX, THE THING THAT WE DID," "WERE YOU, LIKE-- WHAT DID YOU THINK OF IT..." "AT FIRST?" "I THOUGHT THAT WAS A WONDERFUL THING TO DO." "WE WERE PUT INTO A SITUATION" "WHICH WE NEVER THOUGHT OF," "THAT WOULD ACTUALLY HAPPEN." "SO IT IS JUST LIKE BEING IN THE HEAVEN." "( guys laughing )" "BECAUSE I'M SURE I'M NOT GOING TO BE IN THE HEAVEN," "SO IF ONE" "IF I'M EXPECTING HELL" "AND SOMEONE PUTS ME, FOR A WHILE, IN THE HEAVEN" "SO I SAID, "OKAY, THANKS."" " HI." " HI." "Mike:" "20 YEARS SINCE THE DISASTER," "THE POISONS LEFT BEHIND AT THE PLANT" "WERE STILL LEACHING INTO THE GROUNDWATER." "COMMUNITIES THAT YOU SEE IN RED HAVE NOT GOTTEN" "A SINGLE DROP OF CLEAN WATER." " Sathyu:" "OH, REALLY?" " YEAH." " Sathyu:" "UNTIL NOW?" " UNTIL NOW." "EIGHT COMMUNITIES, REALLY?" "ARE GETTING." "ABOUT 12% OF THE REQUIREMENT." "BUT THIS IS CONTAMINATED WATER." "SOME OF THEM USE IT TO DRINK," "COOK, WASH CLOTHES." "Mike:" "DOW COULD CLEAN UP THEIR MESS, BUT THEY DIDN'T." "INSTEAD THEY SPENT TENS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS" "ON AN AD CAMPAIGN TO CLEAN UP THEIR IMAGE." "Ad announcer:" "FOR EACH OF US, THERE'S A MOMENT OF DISCOVERY." "AND JUST THEN, IN THE FLASH OF A SYNAPSE," "WE LEARN THAT LIFE IS ELEMENTAL." "AND IN THE DAZZLING BRILLIANCE OF THIS KNOWLEDGE" "WE MAY OVERLOOK THE ELEMENT NOT LISTED ON THE CHART." "ITS IMPORTANCE SO OBVIOUS," "ITS PRESENCE IS SIMPLY UNDERSTOOD." "THE MISSING ELEMENT IS THE HUMAN ELEMENT." "AND WHEN WE ADD IT TO THE EQUATION," "THE CHEMISTRY CHANGES." "THE HUMAN ELEMENT IS THE ELEMENT OF CHANGE." "THE HUMAN ELEMENT:" "NOTHING IS MORE FUNDAMENTAL;" "NOTHING MORE ELEMENTAL." "( people chatting )" "Mike:" "THIS IS KEVIN FINN." "HE TRADES BONDS." "THIS IS WHAT I DO:" "SIT HERE" "AND JUST LOOK AT THIS SCREEN" "FOR 12, 14 HOURS A DAY." "IT'S VERY ROMANTIC, ACTUALLY." "Mike:" "MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE WE KNEW," "WE THOUGHT KEVIN COULD EXPLAIN" "WHY DOW WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING TO FIX BHOPAL." "HE TOLD US WHAT HAPPENED WHEN ANDY WENT ON THE BBC." "Kevin:" "I GOT A CALL FROM MY CLERK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT" "DOW CHEMICAL MADE SOME ANNOUNCEMENT" "THAT THE STOCKHOLDERS OF DOW CHEMICAL DIDN'T LIKE," "BECAUSE DOW STOCK WENT DOWN," "THE SP 500 FUTURES WENT DOWN." "I HAD TO GO ROLL OUT OF BED." "MY CLERK'S FREAKING OUT" "BECAUSE MY POSITION'S GOING AGAINST ME." "MY FRIEND TELLS ME HE THINKS IT'S SOME GLOBAL CONSPIRACY" "OF TRADERS TO TRY TO SCREW US," "AND HE FINDS OUT IT'S TWO JOKERS." "Mike:" "THE EFFECT OF OUR BIG ANNOUNCEMENT ON THE B.B.C." "WAS THAT DOW STOCK LOST OVER $2 BILLION" "IN 23 MINUTES." "THIS TELLS ME ALL THE NEWS THAT'S HAPPENING IN THE WORLD." "SO ON DECEMBER 3rd IF I WAS SITTING HERE" "WATCHING THIS, IT WOULD SAY," ""DOW CHEMICAL DECIDES TO SETTLE WITH THE BHOPAL PEOPLE."" "AND PEOPLE THAT OWNED DOW CHEMICAL WOULD BE LIKE... ( screams ) "SOLD!"" "EVERYBODY WE TALKED TO ABOUT THAT WAS REALLY HAPPY" "THAT DOW WAS DOING THE RIGHT THING." "SURE." "SURE, OKAY." "I'M NOT SAYING THAT THEY SHOULDN'T BE." "I'M JUST SAYING THAT," "SURE, IT SEEMS LIKE A GOOD THING" "UNLESS YOU'RE A DOW CHEMICAL STOCKHOLDER" "AND YOU'RE EXPECTING THE $20 BILLION" "TO GO TOWARDS A DIVIDEND TO COME BACK TO YOU" "OR TO COME BUY SOME NEW CHEMICAL PLANT." "AND IT'S GOING TO THESE PEOPLE THAT," "AT LEAST AT THIS POINT, AREN'T ABLE TO GET ANY MONEY." "YOU COULD SEE HOW THEY WOULD BE UPSET ABOUT THAT, RIGHT?" "Mike:" "WE WERE CONFUSED." "AS KIDS, WE LEARNED THAT" "IT WAS BAD TO DO SOMETHING BAD," "AND IF YOU DID SOMETHING GOOD" "YOU GOT A REWARD." "YET WHEN WE ANNOUNCED DOW WOULD DO SOMETHING GREAT," "THE MARKET GAVE DOW A SPANKING." "SO HOW COULD WE GET COMPANIES TO DO THE RIGHT THING?" " ( alarm blaring )" " Mike:" "WE NEEDED TO CHANGE THERULESOF THEMARKET," "BUT THAT MEANT REGULATION," "AND REGULATION MEANT GOVERNMENT." "THE ONLY PROBLEM WAS" "GOVERNMENT WAS DRINKING FRIEDMAN'S FREE-MARKET KOOL-AID." "Reagan:" "FREE MARKETS ARE WORKING MIRACLE AFTER MIRACLE" "OF ECONOMIC GROWTH." "Clinton:" "OPEN MARKETS AND RULE-BASED TRADE" "ARE THE BEST ENGINES WE KNOW OF." "THEN THE GOVERNMENT STEPPED BACK" "AND LET THE FREE ENTERPRISE SYSTEM DO ITS WORK." "THEN THE BETTER WE DID," "THE MORE ROBUST OUR ECONOMY GREW," "THE BETTER I DID AND THE BETTER MY BUSINESS GREW." "Mike:" "FOR THE LAST 30 YEARS," "THE LEADERS OF MOST POWERFUL COUNTRIES" "DID WHATEVER THE FREE-MARKETEERS RECOMMENDED." "AND WHAT THEY RECOMMENDED WAS SIMPLE." "THE SOLUTION IS NOT" "TO HAVE GOVERNMENT INTERVENE OR REGULATE IN SOME WAY." "IN FACT, MOST PROBLEMS WILL SOLVE THEMSELVES IF IGNORED." "LET FREE PEOPLE WORKING IN FREE MARKETS ADDRESS THEM." "Mike:" "FOLLOWING ADVICE LIKE THIS," "GOVERNMENTS AROUND THE WORLD GOT RID" "OF A WHOLE BUNCH OF REGULATIONS MEANT TO PROTECT PEOPLE," "LIKE IN BANKING." "( stammering ) I'M CONFIDENT THAT" "THE DEGREE OF HARM OR SPILLOVER EFFECT," "WHATEVER SUBPRIME MORTGAGES GO BAD," "THAT THE MARKET WILL DEVISE WAYS" "TO MINIMIZE AND DIFFUSE THE NEGATIVE EFFECTS." "Mike:" "THEIFAITH IN THE MARKET WAS UNSHAKEABLE," "BUT WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED NEXT." "Female reporter:" "Now with the world's largest insurance company," "AIG, on the brink of collapse, it could mean devastation way beyond Wall Street." "Mike:" "WHAT OTHER DISASTERS WEREN'T COMING?" "Global warming is silly." "It's not a serious issue." "Warmer is healthier, warmer is more pleasant and that's why states like Arizona keep gaining population rapidly." "THERE ARE BENEFITS TO GLOBAL WARMING." "COLD-RELATED DEATHS WILL ACTUALLY DECREASE CONSIDERABLY." "Mike:" "JUST LIKE WITH THE SUBPRIME MORTGAGES," "OUR FREE-MARKET FRIENDS WERE DOING ALL THEY COULD" "TO STOP GOVERNMENT FROM INTERVENING." "EXCEPT HERE THE STAKES WERE HIGHER." "I THINK IT'S QUITE POSSIBLE" "THAT IF IT WEREN'T FOR GROUPS LIKE OURS," "THAT THE UNITED STATES MIGHT VERY WELL BE" "IN THE KYOTO PROTOCOL BY NOW." "IF YOU'VE SEEN THE ADS THAT WE RAN ABOUT A YEAR AGO," "WHICH WE PRODUCED IN-HOUSE ON THIS GLOBAL WARMING," "WHERE OUR CENTRAL CONTENTION IS "CARBON DIOXIDE" "THEY CALL IT POLLUTION, WE CALL IT LIFE."" "Ad announcer:" "THERE'S SOMETHING IN THESE PICTURES" "YOU CAN'T SEE." "IT'S WHAT WE BREATHE OUT" "AND PLANTS BREATHE IN." "CARBON DIOXIDE" "THEY CALL IT POLLUTION, WE CALL IT LIFE." "WE GOT LOTS OF HATE MAIL." "TWO SENATORS THIS PAST FALL SENT" "THE LETTER TO EXXON MOBIL," "CALLING ON IT TO STOP FUNDING C.E.I.." "Mike:" "SO EXXON WAS SECRETLY PAYING THINK TANKS" "TO TELL US" "WE SHOULDN'T REGULATE EXXON." "( shatters )" "Mike:" "PUBLIC OUTRAGE FORCED EXXON TO STOP." "IN FACT, EXXON MOBIL DIDN'T FUND US AT ALL THIS PAST YEAR." "Mike:" "THAT WAS GREAT BUT EXXON HAD" "OTHER WAYS TO INFLUENCE POLICY" "LIKE THIS GUY, LEE RAYMOND." "HE'S A TRUSTEE OF ONE OF THE KEY FREE-MARKET THINK TANKS." "HE ALSO USE TO BE EXXON'S C.E.O." "AND THE YEAR HE LEFT THAT JOB," "HE BECAME AN OFFICIAL ADVISOR TO THE U.S. GOVERNMENT" "ON ENERGY MATTERS." "THIS WAS SCARY." "IF WE LET THE FREE-MARKET CULT KEEP RUNNING THE WORLD," "THERE WOULDN'T BE A WORLD LEFT TO FIX." "WE HAD TO DO SOMETHING," "SO WHEN WE HEARD ABOUT A HUGE OIL CONFERENCE" "UP IN CANADA WE DECIDED TO GO." "POSING AS A BIG P.R. AGENCY," "WE OFFERED THEM LEE RAYMOND," "EXXON'S EX-C.E.O.,  AS KEYNOTE SPEAKER." "THEY JUMPED AT THE CHANCE." "BUT WHAT THEY DIDN'T KNOW" "IS THAT ON THE DAY OF THE TALK" "RAYMOND WOULD BE SUDDENLY UNAVAILABLE" "AND AN ASSISTANT WOULD  STEP IN TO REPLACE HIM." " WHEW!" "YUP." " OKAY." "THIS KEYNOTE SPEECH WILL ATTRACT SUBSTANTIAL MEDIA COVERAGE" "AND WILL BE ONE OF THE MAJOR HIGHLIGHTS" "OF GO EXPO." "Mike:" "WHAT WOULD WE DO TO SHAKE THIS AUDIENCE UP?" "IT WOULD HAVE TO BE MORE SHOCKING" "THAN ANYTHING WE'D DONE BEFORE." "IF THERE'S ONE THING THAT'S GONNA BE ABUNDANT" "IN THE WORLD TO COME, WHAT WITH CLIMATE CHANGE AND ALL THAT," "IT'S PEOPLE-- DEAD PEOPLE." "THIS IS A PILOT PROGRAM TO USE THAT FUEL." "IT'S CALLED VIVOLEUM," "AND HERE WE ARE, MAKING VIVOLEUM." "Mike:" "AS LEE RAYMOND'S ASSISTANT," "ANDY WOULD ANNOUNCE VIVOLEUM-- EXXON'S NEW BIOFUEL" "TO BE MADE FROM THE VICTIMS OF CLIMATE CHANGE." "AND HE'D EVEN HAND OUT A SAMPLE." "SO IT STARTED OUT, WE MADE ONE REGGIE," "AND THEN WE CAST A BUNCH OF REGGIES IN WAX." "THAT'S HUMAN HAIR RIGHT THERE." "Andy:" "THIS IS A LOT OF EXPERIMENTING" "TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE A CANDLE SMELL LIKE HUMAN FLESH." "OW!" "I LOST A REGGIE." " QUICK!" " OW!" "Mike:" "WE WANTED TO MAKE SURE THAT THE OIL MEN KNEW" "WHAT THE CANDLES  THEY'D BE HOLDING WERE MADE OF." "SO WE'D SHOW THEM A TRIBUTE VIDEO" "TO REGGIE WATTS," "A TERMINALLY ILL EXXON JANITOR" "WHO HAD VOLUNTEERED TO BE TURNED INTO FUEL." "I THINK I'D LIKE TO BE-- I THINK I'D LIKE TO BE A CANDLE." "I THINK A CANDLE WOULD BE FUN," "BECAUSE THERE'S JUST SO MANY USES FOR A CANDLE." "THERE ARE SIX BILLION PEOPLE ON THIS EARTH TODAY." "WE'RE PROBABLY USING THE ENERGIES, MAYBE," "OF A BILLION OF THOSE AT BEST." "THEY HAD ME TEST A HELLFIRE MISSILE ONCE." "THAT WAS PRETTY COOL." "WE SIMPLY HAVEN'T FOUND" "THE MIRACLE FUEL YET TO REPLACE PETROLEUM," "BUT WE'LL EVENTUALLY GET THERE" "IF GOVERNMENT GETS OUT OF THE WAY." " THIS IS HOW IT WORKS." " Mike:" "WE HAD HIS MIRACLEFUEL," "AND OUR GRANDFATHERS WERE TURNING OVER IN THEIR MASS GRAVES." "( dramatic music plays )" "Announcer:" "CTV news with Barb Higgins and Darrel Janz." "Good evening." "A bizarre situation today at the GO EXPO energy conference at Stampede Park." "Organizers and hundreds of Alberta oil and gas executives got duped." "Male reporter:" "They had been promised a major announcement from a major player in the energy industry." "Attendees paid $50 a head to hear this speech from the National  Petroleum Council, a group that advises the White House on oil and gas matters." "Man:" "WELCOME TO GO EXPO'S KEYNOTE LUNCHEON." "PLEASE WELCOME S.K. WOLFF." "FIRST I NEED TO SAY HOW WONDERFUL IT IS TO SEE," "ON ALL THE FACES HERE TODAY," "THE CHILDLIKE EXUBERANCE OF A GREAT INDUSTRY" "IN FULL FLOWER." "AND WHY NOT?" "WITHOUT OIL," "AT LEAST FOUR BILLION PEOPLE WOULD STARVE." "AND STARVING WOULD BECOME THE NEW BLACK." "BUT I'M NOT HERE TODAY TO PAT US ALL ON THE BACK." "I'M HERE TO SPEAK OF PLAN Bs." "Mike:" "AS ANDY BEGAN OUTLINING" "EXXON'S TOUGH SOLUTION TO CLIMATE CHANGE, 10 VOLUNTEERS PASSED OUT" "300 HUMAN FLESH CANDLES." "THIS VIGIL WOULD BE LIKE NO OTHER." "WHO FIRST HAD THE IDEA" "TO USE THE OIL OF A RECENTLY-LIVING ANIMAL" "TO LIGHT HIS OR HER HOUSE?" "EVEN TODAY, SHETLAND ISLANDERS" "CUT THE HEADS OFF THEIR PUFFINS" "AND PUT WICKS IN THE STUMPS TO MAKE CANDLES." "WE AT EXXON FIRMLY BELIEVE" "THAT A FREE MARKET WILL, IF LEFT TO ITS OWN DEVICES," "ALWAYS FINDS SOLUTIONS TO THE DILEMMAS" "THAT HUMANITY FACES." "WE'RE CALLING OUR NEW TECHNOLOGY VIVOLEUM." "Mike:" "AS ANDY BEGAN TO DESCRIBE EXXON'S NEW BIOFUEL," "THE CANDLES WERE LIT." "A STRANGE ODOR ROSE INTO THE AIR." "WHAT YOU SEE HERE IS AN ARTIST'S RENDITION" "OF AN ADVANCED LARGE-SCALE PLANT," "THE VIVOLEUM FEED STOCK IS RENEWABLE, UNPRECIOUS" "AND RESPONDS TO THE NEED OF A SHRINKING MARKET" "WITH GREATER SUPPLY." "THE DANCE OF CAPITAL APPEARS IN FULL FLOWER." "Mike:" "FINALLY IT WAS TIME TO INTRODUCE REGGIE WATTS," "THE DYING EXXON JANITOR" "WHO HAD VOLUNTEERED TO BE TURNED INTO FUEL." "AND NOW WE BEGIN THE TRIBUTE VIDEO TO REGGIE WATTS." "I WORKED IN MAINTENANCE FOR A WHILE." "I MOVED UP TO MAINTENANCE 2." "I STARTED DOING CLEAN-UP-- toxic spill clean-up." "AFTER I HEARD FROM THE DOCTOR THAT I WAS GONNA DIE," "I felt like I had something to live for." "( man speaking )" "I THINK I'D LIKE TO BE A CANDLE." "There's just so many uses for a candle." "I MEAN, LIKE IF YOU WANT SOMETHING ROMANTIC," "LIKE THAT'D BE NICE TO KNOW I WAS A CANDLE ON A TABLE." "YOU KNOW, WHEN PEOPLE-- WHEN THEY FIRST MET EACH OTHER" "ON A DATE." "I THINK THAT'D BE GREAT." "THIS IS A FUNERARY OBSERVANCE." "I MEAN, THIS GUY DIED." " SWITCH THIS OFF BEFORE I DO." " THIS MAN DIED!" ""IT'S PEOPLE." ( laughs )" "IT REALLY IS." "HOW IS IT?" "THANK YOU VERY MUCH, GENTLEMEN." "THANK YOU VERY MUCH." "Mike:" "I'M VERY SORRY, BUT WE'VE BEEN CUT OFF." "APPARENTLY WE'RE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE A FUNERARY OBSERVANCE" "FOR A MAN WHO'S DIED TO MAKE A PRODUCT POSSIBLE." "AND I'M" " I'M BEING-- WHY" " ARE YOU ALLOWED TO DO THAT TO ME?" "I" " WHAT-  ( scattered applause )" " Man:" "GOOD JOB." "THE REMAINING 20 IS JUST, YOU KNOW, BINDERS" "BONDERS TO KEEP IT TOGETHER." "WE HAVE TO THINK" " COME WITH US, PLEASE." " SURE." " WOW." " Man:" "BOY, OH BOY." "( chatting )" "NOW!" "THANK YOU." " HEY." " SHUT IT DOWN." " DON'T TOUCH MY CAMERA." " SHUT IT DOWN." "NOW." "Mike:" "HAD WE ACTUALLY MADE THE OIL PEOPLE" "THINK ABOUT WHAT THEY WERE DOING?" "IT WAS HARD TO TELL." "AND THERE WASN'T MUCH TIME LEFT TO FIGURE IT OUT." "BIG OIL WAS ALREADY DESTROYING THE PLANET," "AND NOT JUST BY SPEEDING UP CLIMATE CHANGE." "THIS HOUSE RIGHT HERE, IT USED TO BE ON THIS SIDE." " YEAH, BUT WHERE?" " IT WAS OVER HERE." "IT MOVED OVER THERE." "I COULD ONLY TAKE IT TWO OR THREE DAYS" "A WEEK COMING DOWN HERE TO WORK" "AND THIS YEAR FOR HUNTING SEASON, I DIDN'T KILL NOTHING." "I JUST WASN'T IN THE MOOD TO KILL." "AND I'VE SEEN EVERYTHING ELSE THAT WAS DEAD." "JUST WASN'T IN THE MOOD." "I MEAN, YOU KNOW." "NOT THAT I'M A BIG KILLER, BUT I LIKE KILLING STUFF." " YEAH." " ( laughing )" "IT'S REALLY JUST AMAZING." "WHEN YOU GO DOWNRIVER," "SOME OF THE PONDS WE USED TO FISH IN ARE NOW ALMOST LIKE A BAY." "Mike:" "FOR DECADES, THE GOVERNMENT HAD IGNORED SCIENTISTS' WARNINGS" "AND LET INDUSTRY CARVE UP THE WETLANDS" "THAT PROTECTED NEW ORLEANS FROM STORMS." "Mark Davis:" "ABOUT A MILLION ACRES OF LAND" "HAS DISAPPEARED SINCE 1930." "IT WAS DONE CANAL BY CANAL, OIL FIELD BY OIL FIELD," "PORT BY PORT, PARCEL BY PARCEL." "IT WAS, IF YOU WILL, DEATH BY 1,000 CUTS." "THE GOVERNING MINDSET, CULTURALLY AND LEGALLY," "WAS IF THERE'S AN IMPACT, WE'LL DEAL WITH IT LATER." "AND IN SOME WAYS THIS IS A PREVIEW" "OF WHAT THE REST OF THIS COUNTRY AND THE REST OF THE WORLD HAVE IN STORE FOR THEM." "( wind roaring )" "Mike:" "WHEN KATRINA HIT," "THE WETLANDS WEREN'T THERE TO DIMINISH ITS FORCE" "AND THE LEVEES DIDN'T STAND A CHANCE." "SO THE REAL CULPRIT FOR THE DESTRUCTION OF NEW ORLEANS" "WASN'T JUST A BIG HURRICANE," "BUT GREED DRESSED UP AS PROGRESS." "WHAT PRODUCED THIS TREMENDOUS IMPROVEMENT IN TECHNOLOGY?" "IT WAS SELF-INTEREST OR, IF YOU PREFER, GREED" "THE GREED OF PRODUCERS WHO WANTED TO PRODUCE SOMETHING" "THAT THEY COULD MAKE A DOLLAR ON." "Mike:" "GREED HAD CAUSED" "THE BIGGEST CATASTROPHE EVER TO HIT THE U.S." "AND NOW THE GOVERNMENT WAS HANDING OUT" "BILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN REBUILDING CONTRACTS." "IN OTHER WORDS, LETTING GREED SOLVE THE PROBLEM." "THERE HAS BEEN THIS IDEA THAT IT IS GOVERNMENT'S RESPONSIBILITY" "TO REPLAN THE CONSTRUCTION OF NEW ORLEANS." "IT'S BETTER TO LEAVE IT TO THE MARKET." "Mike:" "WE WANTED TO TAKE A CLOSER LOOK AT HOW THE MARKET" "WAS FIXING THE U.S. GULF COAST." "WE'RE ON OUR WAY TO THE GULF COAST RECONSTRUCTION CONFERENCE" "AT THE WASHINGTON CONVENTION CENTER." "WE'RE GOING TO TALK TO A NUMBER OF PEOPLE" "WHO ARE BUSY RECONSTRUCTING NEW ORLEANS." " ( honks )" " YEAH, WATCH OUT." "THERE ARE MANY SILVER-LININGS TO THIS HORRENDOUS DISASTER," "AND WITH IT HAS COME AN INCREDIBLE OPPORTUNITY." "I'M OPTIMISTIC WHEN I SEE A ROOMFUL OF FOLKS" "WHO WANT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE OPPORTUNITIES." "AND THAT'S A GOOD THING FROM OUR PERSPECTIVE." "IT'S A GREAT THING." "WELL, YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE THE ISRAELIS SAY:" "ONCE IN A WHILE A GOOD CRISIS IS NOT BAD;" "YOU COME UP WITH NEW THINGS." "Mike:" "WE WERE SEEING A LOT OF NEW THINGS." "BUT WASN'T THIS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT GULF COAST RECONSTRUCTION?" "WE'RE ESPECIALLY INTERESTED IN GULF COAST RECONSTRUCTION." "AND, UH, IS THIS-- DOES THIS HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THAT?" "THIS IS FOR BOMB DETONATION" "AND AMMUNITION STORAGE." "PERIMETER AND PHYSICAL SECURITY," "MAINLY ANTI-RAM ROADBLOCKERS." "Woman:" "THIS PARTICULAR UNIT CAN BE USED IN MILITARY APPLICATIONS." "WOW." "SO IT'S A REAL CATASTROPHE TOILET, BASICALLY." "Mike:" "ALL THIS STUFF WOULD BE GREAT FOR THE PEOPLE OF NEW ORLEANS" "IF THEY WERE GONNA FIGHT A WAR." "WHERE WAS THE STUFF ABOUT HELPING PEOPLE?" " ( Middle-Eastern musicplaying)" " AH, HERE IT WAS." "THE PAVILION FROM CENTRAL ASIA." "KYRGYZ'S PEOPLE ARE READY TO HELP" "THE PEOPLE OF LOUISIANA, MISSISSIPPI AND ALABAMA." "BY ERECTING YURTS THERE FOR THEM AS A TEMPORARY SHELTER." "AND HERE'S THE YURT." " OH MY GOSH." " THIS IS IT." "YOU CAN COVER IT UP." "YOU CAN BUILD A FIRE-- YOU CAN OPEN IT UP." "AND IF THERE'S A FLOOD, YOU CAN JUST TAKE IT UP IN LESS THAN AN HOUR." " THEY'RE INTERESTED IN SENDING ONE FREE OF CHARGE..." " GREAT." " ..." "TO LOUISIANA AS A TEST IF YOU'RE INTERESTED." " THANK YOU." " YEP." " NO!" "Mike:" "THE YURT WAS THE ONLY SOLUTION HERE ABOUT HELPING PEOPLE." "BUT THE GOVERNMENT REPS DIDN'T SEEM VERY INTERESTED." "THERE'S NO MONEY IN YURTS." "WE DECIDED WE COULD OUTDO EVERYONE AT THIS CONFERENCE" "AND BEAT THE FREE MARKET AT ITS OWN GAME." "WE WOULD INVENT THE ULTIMATE DISASTER TECHNOLOGY:" "A DEVICE SO SOPHISTICATED" "IT COULD PROTECT ANYONE FROM PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING." "BUT IT WOULD COST SO MUCH" "THAT ONLY THE RICHEST BUSINESSMEN COULD AFFORD IT." " THEY KIND OF JUST FLATTEN OUT." " YEAH." "THE ONLY QUESTION WAS, WHAT COMPANY WOULD MAKE SUCH A THING?" "Newsreel announcer:" "You've got to think Halliburton." "Man:" "For they are the ones who do the research to make the mud to build the tool to run in the well to make the test to log the zone to set the packers, cement the pipe and fire the gun," "to perforate, to pump the gel that carries the sand that props the frac,  completes the well to produce the crude that runs the world for all the people all over the earth who live in the house that oil built." "Mike:" "HALLIBURTON HAS BEEN THE WORLD LEADER" "IN EXTRACTING PROFIT FROM EVERY KIND OF DISASTER." "THEY MADE BILLIONS OFF THE FIRST GULF WAR" "AND ITS SEQUEL, AND HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OFF KATRINA" "ALL PAID FOR BY THE U.S. GOVERNMENT," "WHOSE VICE PRESIDENT WAS ONCE THEIR OWN C.E.O.." "IF ANYONE COULD MAKE A KILLING  FROM TOTAL DISASTER," "HALLIBURTON WOULD BE THE ONE." "THIS MORNING WE GOT UP REALLY EARLY," "DROVE UP TO THE VERY FANCY HOTEL" "WHICH SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS BECAUSE THEY THREATENED US" "IF WE USE THE MATERIAL... ( laughs ) WITH THEIR NAME." "BUT, YOU KNOW, WHAT-- WHAT'S IT CALLED, BASICALLY, THE HOTEL?" " RITZ-CARLTON." " RITZ-CARLTON, THAT ONE." " HOW ARE YOU DOING?" " I'M NORTHROP GOODY." "I'M HERE WITH HALLIBURTON, WITH FRED WOLF." "I'M JUST HELPING DEMO A PRODUCT." "WOULD EITHER ONE OF YOU MIND" "HELPING US DEMO THE SUITS?" "WE HAVE THREE OF THEM." "SO YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY STEP INTO IT, PULL IT ON." " IT'S KIND OF LIKE A COVERALL." " I'LL WEAR IT." " YOU'LL WEAR IT?" "ALL RIGHT, GREAT." " I'LL WEAR IT." " NO PROBLEM." " YOU'RE A GOOD SPORT." " YOU'RE A REALLY GOOD SPORT." " NO PROBLEM." "Mike:" "THE CATASTROPHIC LOSS CONFERENCE" "WAS FOR INSURANCE PEOPLE." "THEY KNEW NUMBER" "AND WE WERE ABOUT TO SHOW THEM SOME PRETTY SIMPLE MATH." "WITH GILDA, WE'D TRIED SCARY." "WITH REGGIE, WE TRIED GROSS." "NOW WE WOULD GO FOR RIDICULOUS." "UH, WE REALLY APPRECIATE BEING INVITED TO SPEAK ON THIS PANEL." "UM, A LOT OF YOU WORK WITH THE INSURANCE INDUSTRY, OF COURSE." "INSURANCE HAS BECOME EXTREMELY WORRIED" "ABOUT SOME GRAVE NEW DANGERS TO PEOPLE" "THAT WE'RE SEEING IN THE WORLD AROUND US TODAY." "AND I'M OF COURSE TALKING ABOUT CLIMATE CHANGE" "AND THE DISASTERS THAT IT BRINGS." "BUT I CAN PERSONALLY GUARANTEE YOU" "THAT LEVEL HEADS WILL ALWAYS BE ABLE TO TURN LEMONS" "INTO LEMONADE." "CONSIDER THE BLACK PLAGUE." "THIS WAS AN UNSPEAKABLY  ROTTEN EVENT, OF COURSE," "IN WHICH ONE-THIRD OF EUROPE'S POPULATION DIED IN GREAT AGONY." "NO ONE, OF COURSE, WOULD WISH SUCH A THING ON ANY CIVILIZATION." "YET WITHOUT IT-- WITHOUT THE BLACK PLAGUE" "THE OLD BUSINESS MODELS OF EUROPE WOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN OVERTURNED" "BY THE ENTREPRENEURS OF THE RENAISSANCE." "AND WHAT WOULD THE WORLD BE WITHOUT THE MONA LISA?" "OR CLOSER TO HOME," "HOW ABOUT THE GREAT DELUGE?" "THIS WORLD-ENDING DISASTER-- LITERALLY" "WAS SURELY SEEN AS A TERRIBLE CATASTROPHE BY NOAH'S CONTEMPORARIES," "AND PERHAPS BY NOAH HIMSELF." "YET NOAH WAS READY TO SEIZE THE DAY." "AND AT THE END OF THAT DAY, NOT ONLY WAS THERE A WHOLE NEW WORLD," "BUT NOAH FOUND HIMSELF WITH A MONOPOLY OF THE ANIMALS." "FOR THOSE OF US IN POSITIONS OF RESPONSIBILITY, HOWEVER," "WHO MIGHT HAVE TO TAKE CHARGE IN A CRISIS," "EVEN MORE INNOVATIVE SOLUTIONS ARE NECESSARY." "I'D LIKE NOW TO INTRODUCE MY COLLEAGUE, DR. NORTHROP GOODY," "WHO'S THE HEAD OF OUR EMERGENCY PRODUCTS" "DEVELOPMENT UNIT AT HALLIBURTON." "AND DR. GOODY WILL BE SHOWING SOME MOCK-UPS" " OF SOME ITEMS THAT HISUNITHASDEVELOPED." " ( applause )" "WE WANT SOMETHING THAT'S GOING TO BE ABLE TO SAVE A HUMAN BEING" "NO MATTER WHAT MOTHER NATURE THROWS AT HIM." "AND SO THIS IS THE ANSWER." "THIS IS THE HALLIBURTON SURVIVABALL." "IT'S THREE EASY STEPS FOR DEPLOYMENT:" "SUITING UP," "INFLATING AND OF COURSE LAUNCHING" "LAUNCHING OUT OF A BUILDING." "AND WE HAVE AN ARTIST'S RENDITION" "OF WHAT IT MIGHT BE LIKE  IN HOUSTON WHEN WE LAUNCH OUR SURVIVABALLS." "IN THE EVENT OF EXTREME CATASTROPHE," "THERE MIGHT BE A SCARCITY OF RESOURCES." "IN THIS CASE, WE'VE GOT A SURVIVABALL HERE..." " ( moos ) - ..." "THAT'S GOING UP AND EXTRACTING RESOURCES," "IN THIS CASE, FROM AN ANIMAL." "YOU DON'T WANT TO BE EXPOSED TO THE ELEMENTS," "BUT YOU STILL WANT TO BE ABLE TO EXTRACT RESOURCES" "FROM, FOR EXAMPLE, A COW." "THEY'RE GOING TO BE ABLE TO GO UNDERWATER," "RATED AT 50'." "THEY CAN BE USED IN ANY CONDITION." "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHETHER YOU'RE IN A LANDSLIDE IN CALIFORNIA" "OR EVEN IN THE ARCTIC." "OF COURSE ANY OTHER CONDITIONS," "WHETHER IT'S TSUNAMIS OR TORNADOES," "THE SURVIVABALL IS DESIGNED TO WITHSTAND." "BUT THE BEST PART  OF THE SURVIVABALL" "IS THAT PEOPLE NEED PEOPLE." "AND SO OUR BIGGEST INSPIRATION FOR THE WAY THAT A COMMUNITY SHOULD WORK" "WITH SURVIVABALLS COMES FROM BIOLOGY." "UM, AS SOME OF YOU PROBABLY KNOW" "AMOEBAS GATHER TOGETHER AND ACTUALLY FORM ANOTHER BODY." "THEY AGGREGATE." "AND SO THESE ONE-CELLED ORGANISMS" "COME TOGETHER AS A SINGLE BODY." "FOR EXAMPLE, HERE'S A RAFT FORMATION" "OF SURVIVABALLS IN THE OCEAN" " FLOATING," "COMMUNICATING, EXCHANGING NUTRIENTS," "DIFFERENTIATING FUNCTION." "LAST OF ALL," "THIS IS LITERALLY THOUSANDS OF SURVIVABALLS" "DANCING THROUGH THE STREETS." "( applause )" "AND WE'LL BE HAPPY TO TAKE ANY QUESTIONS" "SO IF THERE ARE" "ANY MORE TECHNICAL ONES FOR NORTHROP HERE" "OR GENERAL ONES." "YEP." "IF YOU COULD DEMONSTRATE THE TURTLE POSITION, PLEASE, THAT WOULD BE GREAT." "BASICALLY IF YOU DUCK DOWN" "YEAH, A VISOR, HEADS-UP DISPLAY, THE WHOLE THING." " YEAH." " WELL, YEAH." "HI." " NORTHROP." " CAREY." "HOW ARE YOU?" "IT DOES." "THAT'S IT." "MUCH MORE SO THAN KATRINA." "YEAH." "YEAH, WELL, I MEAN..." "Mike:" "WE'D DONE ALL WE COULD TO SHOW THESE PEOPLE" "WHAT SUCKED ABOUT LETTING GREED RUN OUR FUTURE..." " OH DEAR." " ..." "BUT INSTEAD OFFREAKINGOUT," "THEY JUST TOOK OUR BUSINESS CARDS." "HELLO." "WONDERFUL." "AND IF YOU WANT TO TAKE ONE OF MINE HERE?" "OUR EFFORT HAD BEEN A FAILURE." "IT'S NOT VERY WELL ARTICULATED, REALLY." "AND COME TO THINK OF IT, ALL OF OUR EFFORTS HAD BEEN FAILURES." "( orchestra music playing )" "BUT YOU KNOW, A YES MAN NEVER GIVES UP." "WE KNEW WE COULD DO IT." "ALL WE NEEDED WAS A WHOLE NEW APPROACH." "MAYBE MAKING FUN OF STUPID IDEAS WAS A STUPID IDEA." "WE HAD TO GET SMART, BECAUSE THE PEOPLE WITH THE REALLY STUPID IDEAS" "WERE VERY VERY SMART." "FOR FRIEDMAN AND HIS FOLLOWERS," "DISASTER WAS NOT JUST A CHANCE TO GET RICH," "BUT AN OPPORTUNITY TO PUSH THROUGH" "ALL KINDS OF UNPOPULAR POLICIES," "LIKE PRIVATIZING PUBLIC SCHOOLS," "SHUTTING DOWN PUBLIC HOSPITALS," "AND KICKING PEOPLE  OUT OF THEIR HOMES." "THIS IS THE LAFITTE HOUSING PROJECT." "IT SURVIVED KATRINA INTACT." "THAT WAS LUCKY FOR THE THOUSANDS OF RESIDENTS" "WHO WANTED TO COME HOME AND REBUILD." "SO WHAT DID THE GOVERNMENT DO?" "THEY DECIDED TO TEAR IT DOWN." "THE DISASTER FOR US STARTED AFTER THE STORM..." " UH-HUH." " ..." "WHEN PEOPLE FOUND OUT THAT YOU WERE GONNA BE MAROONED" "IN A STRANGE FOREIGN CITY," "WANTING TO COME HOME," "AND THE GOVERNMENT WAS GOING TO TAKE YOUR HOME AWAY." "THIS WAS OURS BEFORE THE STORM." "AND WHEN STORMS HAPPEN EVERYWHERE ELSE," "PEOPLE GET A CHANCE TO GO BACK HOME" " THIS IS HOME TO US." "WHY DO THEY TAKE AWAY OUR PRIDE AND JOY?" "THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT PEOPLE ARE GOING THROUGH." "Wade Rathke:" "THERE'S A WHOLE CITY THAT'S WASHED AWAY." "NOW YOU'VE GOTTA REBUILD THE WHOLE THING." "PART OF WHAT THIS WAS WAS IF YOU EVER HAD AN IDEA" "THAT YOU COULDN'T GET THROUGH BEFORE THE STORM," "WELL, THE STORM MEANT THAT EVERYTHING WAS TOSSED SALAD." "SO IF THIS IDEA HAD BEEN ROUNDLY REJECTED BY THE CITY" "AND BY VOTERS AND WHATEVER," "BUT NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO SNEAK ON IN." "Mike:" "WHEN RESIDENTS TRIED TO COME HOME AFTER KATRINA," "THEY FOUND THEMSELVES LOCKED OUT BY HUD," "THE U.S. GOVERNMENT'S DEPARTMENT OF HOUSING AND URBAN DEVELOPMENT." "Pres Kabacoff:" "THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT CAME UP WITH A PROGRAM" "TO DISMANTLE PUBLIC HOUSING" "AND PRIVATIZE IT." "AND THAT'S WHAT WE'RE DOING." "AND SO YOU'VE GOT TO DEVELOP A NICE COMMUNITY" "SO THAT THE POOR HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO LIVE IN AN ENVIRONMENT" "WHERE PEOPLE WORK, THAT THEY'RE PART OF THE AMERICAN DREAM." "AND YOU'LL GET A NUMBER OF FOLKS THAT ARE NOT USED TO" "THE TYPE OF LIFESTYLE THAT WE ALL LIVE," "WHERE TRASH IS THROWN ON THE GROUND" "OR CURSING OFF  OF THE BALCONY." "THE IDEA REALLY IS TO PROVIDE ROLE MODELS, ESSENTIALLY," " FOR POOR FOLKS, RIGHT?" " ABSOLUTELY." "Mike:" "ON THE B.B.C., WE TRIED TO SHOW" "THAT COMPANIES COULD BEHAVE DIFFERENTLY." "AND WE'D LEARNED THAT THEY COULDN'T" "UNTIL GOVERNMENT MADE RULES TO CONTROL THEM." "YET EVEN HERE IN NEW ORLEANS," "WHERE HELP WAS MOST NEEDED," "GOVERNMENT WAS ALSO DRINKING THE FREE-MARKET KOOL-AID." "I BELIEVE IN A MARKET-DRIVEN PROCESS." "ECONOMICS, CAPITALISM" "IT'S GONNA TAKE OVER." "AND THE MARKETPLACE IS POISED TO RESPOND." "Mike:" "SO THE GOVERNMENT DIDN'T BELIEVE IN GOVERNMENT." "WE KNEW WHAT WE HAD TO DO:" "WE WOULD BECOME THE GOVERNMENT." "AND WE WOULD FIND OUT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN" "IF GOVERNMENT DID THE RIGHT THING." "WE ARE PREPARING TO GO TO THE GULF COAST RECONSTRUCTION CONFERENCE" " AT THE PONTCHARTRAIN CENTER IN KENNER NEAR THE AIRPORT." " LET'S GO." " YOU SHOULDN'T DRIVE." "SOMEBODY ELSE SHOULD DRIVE." " OKAY." "SO IT'S ALMOST LIKE WE SHOULD BE SAYING WE ARE FACING A STATE OF EMERGENCY." "I'M GOING TO SPEAK AS HUD, AS THE DEPUTY ASSISTANT" "OF SECRETARY OF HUD WHO COULDN'T MAKE IT," "AND C.N.N. IS GOING TO BE COVERING IT VE." "Mike:" "THIS CONFERENCE  WAS TAKING PLA" "ON THE FIRST ANNIVERSARY OF KATRINA." "A THOUSAND CONTRACTORS WHO  WERE REBUILDING NEW ORLEANS WOULD BE THERE." "WHAT'S THAT?" "OH MY GOD." "MAYOR RAY NAGIN COMING IS A BIT MORE" "THAN WE EXPECTED WOULD HAPPEN." "Mike:" "WHEN WE HATCHED OUR SCHEME" "WE TOLD THIS GUY-- THE CONFERENCE ORGANIZER" "THAT WE REPRESENTED ALPHONSO JACKSON, THE HEAD OF HUD." "WHEN THE MAYOR AND GOVERNOR FOUND OUT THAT JACKSON WOULD BE THERE," "THEY HAD TO BE THERE TOO." "ONCE AGAIN, THE KEYNOTE SPEAKER WOULDN'T SHOW UP," "BUT HIS ASSISTANT WOULD." "WOULD THE MAYOR NOTICE THAT SOMETHING WAS WRONG?" "AND WHAT WOULD THE CONTRACTORS THINK" "OF HUD'S RADICAL NEW APPROACH TO PUBLIC HOUSING," "AN APPROACH THAT COULD COST THEM MONEY" "AND EVEN PUT SOME OF THEM OUT OF A JOB?" "( applause )" "...OF THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF HOUSING AND URBAN DEVELOPMENT." "SO IT'S AN HONOR TO SHARE THE STAGE" "WITH OUR TWO PARTNERS IN RECOVERY," "WITH RENE OSWIN, REPRESENTING HUD," "WHO'S DEFINITELY ONE OF OUR MOST IMPORTANT PARTNERS IN THIS REBUILDING EFFORT," "AND MAYOR NAGIN OF NEW ORLEANS, WHOSE CHALLENGES ARE ENORMOUS." "AND I ALSO WANT TO STOP AND THANK RENE," "WHO'S HERE FROM HUD." "HUD HAS BEEN AN INCREDIBLE INCREDIBLE PARTNER WITH US." "WE ARE ON THE VERGE OF DOING SOME REALLY UNIQUE THINGS," "SOMETHING THAT WE COULD HAVE NEVER TACKLED IN THE CITY OF NEW ORLEANS," "AND NOW WE ARE POISED AND POSITIONED TO ENHANCE" "PUBLIC HOUSING IN THE CITY OF NEW ORLEANS." "YOU KNOW, THERE'S LOTS OF INFORMATION OUT THERE," "THERE'S LOTS OF MISINFORMATION OUT THERE." "BUT I HAVE A FUNDAMENTAL BELIEF" "THAT TRUTH AND LIE CANNOT STAY IN THE SAME PLACE AT THE SAME TIME." "REMINDS ME OF A STORY I ONCE HEARD." "TRUTH AND LIE WENT SWIMMING ONE DAY IN LAKE PONTCHARTRAIN." "THEY WENT SKINNY-DIPPING, SO THEY LAID THEIR CLOTHES ON THE BANKS." "AND THEY WERE OUT THERE HAVING A REALLY GOOD TIME." "BUT THEN LIE ALL OF A SUDDEN JUMPED OUT THE WATER" "PUT TRUTH'S CLOTHES ON AND STARTED RUNNING DOWN ESPLANADE" "ELYSIAN FIELDS AVENUE." "TRUTH GOT OUT THE WATER AND STARTED RUNNING AFTER LIE." "SO, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WHAT YOU HAD WAS" "A WELL-DRESSED LIE BEING CHASED BY NAKED TRUTH." "( applause )" "THAT'S QUITE A TOUGH ACT TO FOLLOW." "NOTHING LIKE THAT TO MAKE YOU FEEL A BIT NAKED, EH?" "UH..." "DEAR FRIENDS," "IT IS WITH THE GREATEST JOY THAT I ANNOUNCE TO YOU TODAY" "A BRAND-NEW DEPARTMENT OF HOUSING AND URBAN DEVELOPMENT." "EVERYTHING IS GOING TO CHANGE ABOUT THE WAY WE WORK" "AND THE CHANGE IS GOING TO START RIGHT HERE TODAY IN NEW ORLEANS." "UNTIL LAST WEEK, OUR M.O. HERE AT HUD" "WAS TO TEAR DOWN PUBLIC HOUSING WHENEVER WE COULD." "LIKE MANY FOLKS IN WASHINGTON," "WE THOUGHT THE PROJECTS CAUSED CRIME AND UNEMPLOYMENT." "WE WERE WRONG." "WHEN WE TORE DOWN ST." "THOMAS AND REPLACED IT WITH MIXED-INCOME FLATS," "ONLY ONE OF 27 FORMER RESIDENTS EVER MADE IT BACK." "AND THE REST HAVE FACED MANY PROBLEMS," "IN SOME CASES EVEN HOMELESSNESS." "IT JUST DIDN'T WORK." "WE WON'T MAKE THAT ERROR AGAIN." "THIS AFTERNOON WE WILL BEGIN TO REOPEN" "ALL PUBLIC HOUSING PROJECTS IN NEW ORLEANS" "AND ALLOW THESE AMERICANS TO BE PART OF THEIR CITY ONCE AGAIN." "BUT OPENING DOORS" "THANK YOU." "BUT OPENING DOORS WON'T BE ENOUGH." "AS YOU KNOW," "THE MAIN REASON NEW ORLEANS WAS SO VULNERABLE TO KATRINA" "WAS THE DESTRUCTION OF THE WETLANDS." "I AM VERY VERY VERY PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE" "THAT EXXON AND SHELL HAVE AGREED TO FINANCE WETLANDS REBUILDING" "FROM PART OF THE $60 BILLION IN PROFITS THIS YEAR." "AS J. STEPHEN SIMON, EXN VICE PRESIDENT, WRITES," ""EXXON MOBIL IS EARMARKING $8.6 BILLION" "FROM REVENUES OUR COMPANY HAS MADE IN THIS REGION," "SO AS TO ASSURE THAT EXXON MOBIL NEVER AGAIN" "HAS A HAND IN DESTROYING A LARGE AMERICAN CITY."" "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE WILL REBUILD NOT JUST NEW ORLEANS," "WE WILL REBUILD THE AMERICAN DREAM." "PLEASE COME JOIN US AT THE LAFITTE HOUSING COMPLEX" "FOR A RIBBON-CUTTING CEREMONY IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE PLENARY SESSION." "THIS IS WHAT WE'RE ALL HERE FOR, SO LET'S MAKE IT HAPPEN." "LET'S BRING NEW ORLEANS BACK." "Man:" "I THOUGHT IT WAS VERY UPLIFTING." "THIS HAS BEEN A BIG PROBLEM." "A LOT OF PEOPLE WANT TO COME HOME" "AND THEY HAVE BEEN UNABLE TO DO SO," "SO I THOUGHT IT WAS A VERY POSITIVE MESSAGE." "OH, VERY ENCOURAGING." "AND WHAT'S REALLY ENCOURAGING" "IN PARTICULAR IS NOT ONLY GETTING PEOPLE BACK HOME" "AND HELPING THEM REBUILD, BUT THE RECOGNITION" "THAT WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH MOTHER NATURE." "AND THAT EXXON IS GOING TO MAKE SOME SIGNIFICANT CONTRIBUTION" "TO RESTORE WETLANDS IS-- IT'S VERY ENCOURAGING." "( applause )" "Mike:" "THIS WAS ENCOURAGING." "WHEN THE CONTRACTORS HEARD THAT THE GOVERNMENT" "WAS GOING TO DO THE RIGHT THING," "EVEN THOUGH IT MIGHT COST THEM SOME BUSINESS," "THEY CHEERED." "FRIEDMAN WAS WRONG." "GREED ALONE DIDN'T RULE THE WORLD." " HI." " HI." "MY NAME'S STEVE STRADER, WITH W.W.L." " MIND IF I TALK TO YOU OVER HERE?" " ABSOLUTELY." " DO YOU HAVE A CARD?" " NO, NOT TODAY." "Mike:" "AND THIS TIME WE'D GOTTEN AWAY TH IT..." " ALL RIGHT, THANKS." "BYE-BYE." " ..." "OR SO WE THOUGHT." "THE CITY AND THE STATE BOTH SAY THEY'VE NOT HEARD ANYTHING ABOUT THIS," "THAT THIS ANNOUNCEMENT COMES AS A SURPRISE TO THE GOVERNOR'S OFFICE" "AND THE MAYOR'S OFFICE." "WHY WOULD HUD DO THIS" "WITHOUT CONSULTING THE CITY AND THE STATE?" "WELL, IT'S SUCH A-- WE HAVEN'T DONE THIS WITHOUT CONSULTING WITH THEM." "YOU HAVE NO CARDS." "YOU SAY YOU'RE NEW TO THE AGENCY?" "I HAVE A CARD, BUT IT'S BACK AT THE OFFICE." " I'LL GET IT TO YOU." " WHERE IS YOUR P.R. TEAM?" " Mike:" "I'M RIGHT HERE, HI." " UM..." "THERE." " HI, YOU'RE WITH HUD?" " YES, I AM." " DO YOU HAVE A CARD?" " THERE'S AN ENTIRE HUD HOUSING PROJECT THERE" " LEFT UNFINISHED." " YEAH." "THERE ARE SOME SAYING THAT THIS IS A FARCE," "THAT YOU'RE NOT TRULY WITH HUD AND THAT THIS IS NOT AN ACTUAL ANNOUNCEMENT." "WELL, THEY CAN SAY WHATEVER THEY WANT." "WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?" " WHERE IS YOUR OFFICE?" " IN WASHINGTON." "WHERE IN WASHINGTON." "HE DID JUST" " HE JUST JOINED THE AGENCY FROM FRANCE." " HE'S A" " FROM FRANCE?" "YEAH, HE'S BEEN A SPECIAL ATTACHE" "TO THE DEPARTMENT OF THE INTERIOR IN FRANCE." "WHY ARE YOU SO SKEPTICAL?" "WE JUST HEARD THE SPEECH AND I HAVE A NEWSCAST VERY SHORTLY." "I NEED TO CONFIRM IF IT WAS" "A REAL SPEECH FROM HUD OR NOT." "THE GOVERNOR AND THE MAYOR KNEW NOTHING OF IT." "THEY WERE SHOCKED." "WE DESPERATELY NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS REAL OR NOT." "HE'S STANDING RIGHT HERE, THE MAN WHO JUST APPARENTLY" "COMMITTED THIS HOAX ON YOUR DEPARTMENT." "I'M ON THE PHONE WITH HUD RIGHT NOW AND THEY SAY YOU'RE A LIAR." "OKAY, WELL, THEY CAN SAY WHATEVER THEY WANT." " I'M SORRY." " THEY CAN SAY WHATEVER THEY LIKE." ""THEY CAN SAY WHATEVER THEY LIKE." BUT YOU WORK FOR THEM" " DON'T YOU, AS A DEPUTY SECRETARY?" " THAT'S RIGHT." "NOW THAT YOU'VE BEEN DISCOVERED, DO YOU WANT TO EXPLAIN TO ME WHY YOU DID IT?" "IF YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE A POINT, WHY DON'T YOU" "COME OVER HERE AND TELL ME WHY YOU DID THIS?" "ALL RIGHT, MAN." "I'LL CALL YOU IN A FEW MINUTES." "BUT IT IS A HOAX-- A MASSIVE HOAX PERPETRATED TODAY." " YOU JUST PULLED OFF A HECK OF A HOAX." " THANK YOU." "IT" " I MEAN, I WOULD SAY THAT, YOU KNOW," "HUD IS PULLING OFF A HOAX BY PRETENDING THAT" "TEARING DOWN AFFORDABLE HOUSING IS WHAT'S GONNA SOLVE IT." "I MEAN, THAT'S WHAT THEY'VE BEEN DOING UNTIL NOW." "THIS IS A TIME WHEN ALL OF THESE PEOPLE ARE CLAMORING TO GET BACK IN." "THEY WANT TO GET BACK INTO THEIR HOUSING AND THEY DESERVE TO BE THERE." "IT'S CRAZY." " AND WORTH LYING TO ALL THESE PEOPLE?" " OH, ABSOLUTELY." "ABSOLUTELY." "ACTUALLY TELLING THE TRUTH." "THIS IS ACTUALLY TRUTH-TELLING WHERE NORMALLY THERE WOULD ONLY BE LIES." "( jazz band playing )" "HOW DIFFICULT WOULD IT BE TO REMEDIATE WHAT YOU SEE HERE TODAY" "AND MAKE IT INHABITABLE, SAY, NEXT WEEK?" "JUST TAKE OFF THE-- TAKE OFF THE COVERS HERE." "OH YEAH, THAT'S A GOOD START, YEAH?" " ABSOLUTELY." " THAT'S IT." "FINALLY WE WILL BE REOPENING" "PUBLIC HOUSING FOR THE RESIDENTS" "FOR THE WORKFORCE THAT'S GOING TO MOVE BACK IN" "AND AGAIN REBUILD NEW ORLEANS." "Sick, twisted, cruel-- those are all words used to describe the prank on Louisiana officials and about 1,000 contractors in New Orleans today." "I'm deputy assistant secretary, to-- of the assistant, essentially, of Secretary Alphonso Jackson." "Reporter:" "Rene Oswin can't get his title right or his relationship to HUD secretary  Alphonso Jackson." "( cheering )" "After taking the mayor for a ride, these contractors followed him to a makeshift ribbon cutting at the Lafitte Housing Project." "Mr. Oswin, you're not even on the directory of HUD." "You're not even listed-- don't have a phone number." "It's come to that, has it?" "It's come to that." "Thanks for being the one to break the news." "HANO, the Housing Authority of New Orleans says this is simply a cruel cruel joke, trying to give people some kind of fake hope that they were going to be able to move back." "( man speaking )" "...THIS WHOLE PRESS CONFERENCE." "I GUESS IT'S JUST TO CALL THEIR HAND." "I RESPECT THIS HOAX, BECAUSE MAYBE IT'LL TAKE A HOAX LIKE THIS" "TO BRING THEM OUT HERE TO SEE WHAT WE'RE GOING THROUGH." "SO IF THE HOAX WHAT IT BE, A HOAX IS WHAT WE GOT." "AND I AIN'T MAD." "I'M GRABBING ME SOME BARBECUE." "Juakali:" "I THINK WHAT YOU GUYS EXPOSED" "IS THE FACT THAT HUD COULD DO THESE GREAT THINGS" "IF THEY WANTED TO." "SECONDLY, YOU GOT THE ATTENTION OF THE RESIDENTS" "SO NOW THEY'RE GONNA BEGIN TO ASK," ""WELL, WHY AREN'T YOU DOING THESE THINGS?"" "AND NUMBER THREE, YOU'RE CREATING A CONTROVERSY" "TO FEED OFF, TO ORGANIZE AND TO BUILD A STRUGGLE" "TO THE NEXT LEVEL." "SO IN MY OPINION, EVERYTHING Y'ALL DID" "WAS EXCELLENT." "Mike:" "IT HAD ALL BEEN WORTHWHILE." "WE WERE ON TOP OF THE WORLD." "BUT THEN REALITY BEGAN TO SINK IN." "WE'D MADE A SPLASH," "BUT WE HADN'T FIXED THE WORLD." "THE FREE MARKET WAS STILL DESTROYING NEW ORLEANS." "ALL OVER THE WORLD, PEOPLE WERE LOSING THEIR HOMES." "CLIMATE CHANGE KEPT GETTING WORSE." "AND IN BHOPAL, PEOPLE CONTINUED TO SUFFER." "WE REALLY DID NEED TO FIX THE WORLD." "BUT IT WAS GONNA TAKE MORE THAN TWO GUYS" "WITH CHEAP SUITS AND FAKE WEBSITES." "IT WOULD TAKE MILLIONS OF US." "( shouting in French )" "Mike:" "BUT EVEN AS OLD REGIMES WERE SWEPT AWAY," "WE KNEW THAT REAL CHANGE WOULDN'T COME EASY." "AFTER ALL, THE FREE-MARKET CULT WAS STILL HERE." " WEALTH." " MONEY." " PRIVATIZATION." " WEALTH." " MONEY." " FREE MARKETS." " PRIVATIZATION." " OWNERSHIP." "A GREAT DEAL OF MONEY." "NOW WE CAN AFFORD THAT." "Mike:" "REMEMBER THESE GUYS?" "THEY'RE NOT GOING AWAY." "AND NEITHER WOULD WE." "WE NEEDED A REALLY AMBITIOUS PLAN," "BECAUSE ALL WE EVER READ IN THE NEWSPAPERS" "WAS HOW WE NEEDED TO PUT EVERYTHING BACK ON TRACK," "BACK TO HOW IT WAS BEFORE IT FELL APART." "BUT HOW IT WAS WAS THE PROBLEM." "WE NEEDED TO SHOW WHAT REAL CHANGE COULD LOOK LIKE." "SO TOGETHER WITH A WHOLE LOT OF FRIENDS," "WE WOULD BLANKET MANHATTAN WITH 100,000 COPIES" "OF OUR VERY OWN NEWSPAPER." "WE'D CALL IT "THE NEW YORK TIMES."" "EXCEPT OUR "NEW YORK TIMES" WOULD BE A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT." "OURS WOULD BE SET SIX MONTHS IN THE FUTURE." "IT WOULD SHOW WHAT COULD HAPPEN" "IF WE SET OUR IMAGINATION FREE." "THINGS HAVE GOTTEN PRETTY BAD AND I THINK IT'S HARD" "FOR PEOPLE TO IMAGINE THE WORLD WORKING ANOTHER WAY." "SO WE'RE TRYING TO, AS REALISTICALLY AS POSSIBLE," "PRESENT THIS WORLD AS IT COULD BE." "Andy:" "THEY JUST BROUGHT UP THE PROOF" "OF "THE NEW YORK TIMES" AND IT LOOKS UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE." "REALLY GOOD." "The obvious question:" "how the heck did you do it?" "Andy, do you want to start?" "How long were you working on this thing" " and how many of you?" " There were a lot of us." "It wasn't just the Yes Men." "It was a large group of people." "We were just one of many groups." "It was an idea that sparked a lot of people's imaginations." "They wanted to see this happen." "And that's sort of the message of the paper as well-- is "Great." "We elected Obama and that's fantastic, but now the real work begins."" "Mike:" "The idea was to put out something that was optimistic, that says we can do all these things." "Why not?" "We created the system that we have now, so why not create a good one instead?" " WOW, VERY GOOD." " LET ME TIE YOU UP." " THIS IS THE BIG DAY." " "NEW YORK TIMES."" "7:00 A.M. RUSH HOUR, THIS IS THE TIME" "TO GET THE PAPERS OUT THERE." " MORNING." "FREE "TIMES."" " Woman:" "FREE "NEW YORK TIMES."" "SPECIAL ISSUE." "SPECIAL ISSUE." ""NEW YORK TIMES," FREE "NEW YORK TIMES."" "SPECIAL EDITION OF "THE NEW YORK TIMES."" "Man:" "FREE "NEW YORK TIMES."" "IS THIS REAL?" " IT'S FAKE, RIGHT?" " WHO PUBLISHES THIS?" "CAN I GRAB ANOTHER ONE OF THESE?" " WHAT?" " WHAT?" ""NATIONAL HEALTH INSURANCE ACT PASSES."" "SO THE PATRIOT-- THE PATRIOT ACT REPEALED." "Woman:" ""MAXIMUM WAGE LAW SUCCEEDS."" "GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ONE." "THIS IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE." "BUT..." "IT'S NOT IMPOSSIBLE." "IT'S A DREAM NEWSPAPER." "RIGHT?" "IT'S LIKE YOU WAKE UP AND ALL THE THINGS THAT YOU WANTED" "BECAME THE NEWS." "THE WAR'S OVER!" "Mike:" "OUR FAKE NEWS WAS A HIT." "NEWSPAPER!" "NEWS FROM THE FUTURE." "BUT WOULD THE REAL NEWS PICK IT UP?" "YOU DON'T WORK FOR "THE NEW YORK TIMES." WHO IS IT THAT YOU WORK FOR" " HANDING THIS OUT?" " A GUY NAMED JOHN" " JOHN SMITH." " YEAH, JOHN SMITH." " JOHN SMITH?" "IT'S "THE NEW YORK TIMES," SPECIAL EDITION." "IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT?" "YEAH, IT'S NOT "THE NEW YORK TIMES."" "Read all about it." ""The New York Times" declares the war in Iraq is over." "Some commuters got their hands on what looks like a special edition of "The New York Times." As you might have guessed though," " it's a fake." " ( speaking German )" "( speaking Russian )" "We printed a paper with the headlines that we'd like to see." "So if these were the headlines that people were so excited to read this morning, let's make them happen." "Lili Taylor:" "WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO EXERCISE SOME MUSCLES" "THAT WE EITHER DON'T HAVE OR THAT HAVE ATROPHIED." "OR SOMETHING-- A CIVIC MUSCLE," "A THRIFTY MUSCLE,  A GENEROUS MUSCLE." "Medea Benjamin:" "WE'VE GOT TO TAKE BACK OUR GOVERNMENT." "MARCH INTO CITY HALL AND SAY, "HERE, WE'VE GOT T SOLUTIONS."" "Frances Fox Piven:" "WE CAN THINK OF THE DIFFERENT WAYS" "THAT WE CAN CONTRIBUTE TO A MOVEMENT THAT SAYS" "BUSINESS AS USUAL IS UNACCEPTABLE," "BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE BEING HURT" "AND WE'RE NOT GOING TO PLAY THE ROLE" "THE SUBSERVIENT, ROUTINE ROLE" "THAT WE USUALLY PLAY." " LET'S GO!" " WE'RE GOING, WE'RE GOING." "( cheering )" "MAKE CHANGE HAPPEN." "PUT YOUR EFFORT ON THE LINE TO MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN." "AND THAT'S WHAT, KINDA, WE DID HERE." "AND, YOU KNOW, MAYBE-- IT'S WHAT..." "YEAH, IT'S KIND OF, YEAH." " OH BOY!" " NO, I KNOW, YEAH!" "AND IF A FEW PEOPLE AT THE TOP CAN MAKE THE BAD NEWS HAPPEN," "THEN WHY CAN'T ALL OF US AT THE BOTTOM" "GET TOGETHER AND MAKE THE GOOD NEWS HAPPEN FOR A CHANGE?" "I MEAN, FOR REAL?" "( big band music playing )"