"Season 5 Episode 8" "The Why of Fry" "by Joke0" "Delivery boy, Phillip J. Fry, reporting for duty." "Dr. Zoidberg, soaking in brine." "What's the meaning of this, we've got to delivery people." "Let's move, let's move." "Amy, mission fore file." "Interesting" " Dr Zoidberg, mission bag." " Packed and ready, sir." "What this?" "This is the same toy surprising at last time!" "I can't work under these conditions, without me there is no mission." "I AM the mission!" "We're back from the mission." "Wha, what?" "You went without me?" "You were looking up cursewords in the dictionary, it seemed like a better use of your time." "But..." "But, I'm the delivery boy!" "Don't worry, everything went fine." "Better than usual." "We got medals." "Good work team!" "We've really pulled together on this one." "They got medals." "I'm really sorry I missed the mission." " I wasn't there, you might have needed me." " Nope." " But if I'd been there, I..." " Nope." " Look ..." " Nope." " Bender is great." " Nope." "Listen, Leela." "Let me make it up by taking you out for dinner tonight." "No." "I got a date with Chaz." "Chaz!" "?" "I met him at that charity cock-fight last week." "He's the major's aide." "You go, mutant girl!" "I do go, he's a very important man." "So?" "I'm just as important as him." "It's just that, the kind of importance I have..." "it doesn't matter if I ... don't do it." "I'm nobody." "There are guys in the background of Mary Worth comics who are more important than me." "Buck up meat loaf, Bender will take you out tonight and cheer you up." "What do you want to do?" "And I mean anything!" "You have the power." "Name it and I'm there." "You're the man." "Well..." "OK." "Let's go bowling." "No." "Table for two?" "Step right this way." "I'm afraid we don't have a reservation, but... as you can see," "I'm the mayor's aide!" "Table for two, please!" "Okay, then..." "It's OK my man, I've got you covered on your next health inspection." "I really appreciate that mister mayor's aide." "Here you go." "Compliments on the house." "Free bread of the restaurant!" "Is there anything you can't do?" "I can't fail the mayor." "Not ever." "Jeez!" "Better not let Leela see me." "Hey, I hear Fry!" "Boy, I'm glad you here." "You are?" "So things aren't working out with what's-his-name?" "Actually...they are..." "Confidentally I might not make it back at my appartement tonight." "Could you up Nibbler for me?" "And bring a baggie in case he drops a steamer." "Have a great night!" "Oh no!" "Please no!" "Perfect." "Smells like a 289 in progress." "Failure to scoop..." "Oh yeah!" "Wait!" "I'm trying." "It weight as much as a thousand suns." "Don't worry Fry, I'll pull some strings and see if I can get you trialed as juvenile." "Oh Chaz!" "I'm as worthless as this trash can." "You think I'm as worthless as you?" "Try catching garbage in your head and raising six kids, you dumb townie!" "At least I'm important to you, even if it's only because I clean up your poop." "The poop eradication is but one aspect of your importance!" " Did you just talk?" " Indeed." "And I have other amazing powers as well." "Like what?" "Are you my mommy?" "Negative." "Welcome Lord Nibbler." "Welcome Acknowledged." "I bring with me...the Mighty One." "At last!" "Our centuries upon centuries of waiting have achieved fruition." "Aren't you a fuzzy wuzzy wittle guy." "Stop that!" "Please..." "Your Mightiness" "Mightiness?" "Are you off your nut?" "I just got kidnapped by a bunch of guinea pigs." "Does he not know?" "He does not know." "He knows not?" "Knows not does he." " Not he knows?" " Enough!" "Fry, it is my duty to inform you that the fate of humanity, the fate of our race, indeed, the fate of all that exists and ever will exist, rest with you" "You are the single most important person in the universe." "Oh!" "Snap!" "On this auspicious occasion, let the horn of eternity cut a thunderous blast!" "The feast of a thousand beasts is begun." " You're gonna eat that?" " Maybe later." "The time has come to discuss matters of the gravest importance." "Fry, do you remember some months ago when Earth was attack by flying brains?" "I remember the square dancing stomachs." "Or that might be in the lately commercials." "Wait!" "The brains!" "I do remember!" "But no one else does, they said I was crazy" "On the contrary, you remember because you were the only one immune to the brains mental attack." "Because I'm so smart?" "Oh my!" "Anyway." "Your immunity is due to the fact that you lack the delta brain wave." "It's a genetic abnormality which resulted when you went back in time and performed certain actions which made you your own grandfather." "I did do the nasty in the pasty!" "Verily." "And that past nastification is what shields you from the brains." "You are the last hope of the universe." "So, I really am important?" "How I feel when I'm drunk is correct?" "Yes." "Except the Dave Matthews Band doesn't rock." "For a 1000 years the evil brains have been constructing the infosphere." "A giant memory bank twice the size of 3 ordinary memory banks." "What so evil about that?" "They plan to collect all the information in the universe and store it within the sphere." "So they try to learn things?" " Right." " Those bastards!" "Being brains, they feel compelled to know everything and soon they will." "I'm as mad as I've ever been." "Once their task is complete, they will ensure that no new information arises in the only way possible by destroying the universe." "Now, it's personnal!" "Your mission is to infiltrate the infosphere and plant this quantum interphase bomb, blasting them into an alternate universe, from which there is no return." "Then outrun the blast on this Scooty-Puff, Jr." "OK, let's go through this once more..." "Brains!" "Fear not, Mighty One." "Your missing brain wave makes you invisible to them." "So long as you avoid intense thinking." "Sorry, what?" "I wasn't paying attention." " That is most wise." " Who?" "In a few seconds, the brains will finish scanning the last bits of information in the universe." "Beavers made for life 11 greater than 4." "For quality carpets visit Kaplan's carpet warehouse" "Now, the infospere will open is protective crust." "So it's to scan itself, completing its thousands years task." "This is your one chance to enter the sphere," "Scoot, scoot now." "I'am at the input console." "I'm a little nervous and I've got brain in my but-crack." "Roger." "Once you press the detonator, you will have 60 seconds for an exciting escape." "Eh wait!" "Those brain knows everything about everything, right?" "It will soon, that's why you're supposed to be setting off the bomb." "Yeah yeah." "But I can't pass up the chance to learn the answers to the greatest questions of all time." " Is it true that post stamp glue is made of..." " Correct!" "Toad mucus." "There's no time for this, activate the bomb!" "Wait, wait, wait." "What really killed the dinosaurs?" "Me!" "Detecting trace amounts of mental activity, possibly a dead weasel or a cartoon viewer." "You gross, cut it out!" "Odd..." "He is immune to our psionic attack!" "Impossible, we are an ambitious young squad with everything to prove!" "It appears we are in presence of the fabled one." "But without his Scooty-Puff, Jr., he cannot escape." "A quantum interphase bomb?" "Are you insane in the membrane?" "You got it point, Dexter." "Not good." "Detonation in T-60 earth seconds." "You fool!" "You'll be transported into the other universe with us." "Trapped there for all eternity." "And we'll form a tightly nitted clique that you wont be part of." "At least, I did one important thing with my life!" "leading good to victory over evil." " Hourray!" " Exactly!" "The Nibblonians?" "Good?" "During your last moments in this universe perhaps you should query our database concerning the night of December, 31st 1999." "The day I got frozen?" "What about it?" "No!" "Don't ask about that, euh...it...it would be...boring." "Forget it then..." "Query!" "What append to me Phillip J. Fry on the night of December, 31st 1999?" "Clarification request!" "Are you the Phillip J. Fry from Earth, or the Phillip J fry from Howering Squid World 97A?" "Earth, you fat idiot." "Hurry up." "Hello!" "Pizza delivery for..." "Oh, crud" "I can't believe how fat I look!" "Ooh, Nibbler's there." "Wait!" "What?" "!" "What the..." "I..." "I don't understand, you made me go in the freezer tube?" "Detonation in T-15 seconds." "You're the one frozing me!" "You took away my life." "We can explain." "No, you can't!" "Shut your adorable trap." "We had no choice." "You were the only one who could help us." "What is one life weighed against the entire universe?" "But it was my life." "Detonation in 2, 1... will the owner of the white Pontiac Firebird..." "Nevermind, zero." "Well, here we are trapped for eternity." "We could sing 'American Pie'." "Go ahead, I deserve it." "I wish the stupid racoons had never brought me to the future." "I have shocking data relevant to this conversation." "We don't care, you dope." "We're in an other universe, you're not in charge anymore." "It is possible for the Phillip Fry to resume his life on the December, 31st 1999." "Really?" "I can go back in time?" "There is an access point between universes at the space time where you enter the cryogenic tube, you and only you can return there." "Interesting." "You could stop the nibblonian from pushing you into the cryogenic tube." "That IS interesting." "Why?" "It would be as you never came to the future." "You'll have your life back, and we will succeed in our plan to understand and destroy the universe." "Everybody wins!" "The human will be returned to the past." "Meanwhile..." "I love rocket skating but the wait is always so long." "Poor Fry once stood on line 6 hours to get me a ticket." "6 hours!" "Psss." "Sounds like a real nobody." "But now it's time for somebody, and some chick he is with, to go skating." "You reserved the whole ring!" "Yep!" "Buzzed ahead let then know whose aide is coming by." "The Mayor's, that whose." "Mr Vogel, I thought we were going skating?" "No, we're not important enough, everybody just hold hands until the bus driver comes back from his haircut." "Let's let those kids skate with us." "What!" "Seriously?" "I'm trying to impress you here." "I know, and it's working." "But think how much skating would mean to those kids." "We came here instead of eating today." "This might be the only chance to skate here their all lives." "Who are we to say they can't?" "The mayor's aide...and his badge." "Beat it kids, come back when you got connections." "Alright, little ones." "Back to the orphanarium." "You can slide around the gym in your socks." "What socks?" "So, am I getting lucky tonight or what?" "I hope your calculations are correct!" "Our calculations are always correct for we are gigantic brains." "Initiate: space time transfer." "I hereby place an order for one cheese pizza." "One pie, nothing good on it?" "Name?" "I period C period Wiener." "Talk a little louder, it sounds like you've some kind of tiny head on ya or something" "Hello, pizza delivery for ..." "Crud!" "Gotcha!" "I don't understand." "Yes you do." "You came back in time to knock me into that freezer." "and now, I came back in time to stop you!" "I did not come back in time." "My people lack that ability." "But..." "I know you in the future." "I cleaned your poop!" "Quite possible." "We live long and are celebrated poopers!" "You will meet me when I'm a thousand years older." "Not if you don't freeze me!" "Please!" "Our sages foresee that in a thousand years, for one moment, the fate of the universe will depend on you!" "Since you will not live that long, I must freeze you now." "Why could you not just ask me?" "We were affraid you would refuse." "Of course not!" "I love the future." "So then...why are you choking me right now?" "Because I don't like being used." "Well, now it's your choice." "Is there nothing in the future worth saving?" "Leela." "But she doesn't think much of me.." "She must be The Other." "Wh...wha?" "You must not give up on her." "I'm stationed on a distant world known as Vergon 6." "But if you return to the future," "I will tranfer to Earth to give you what help I can." "You really think I would have had a chance with Leela?" "You must choose." "The present or the future." "To save youself or save Leela." "Yes!" "Here I come future!" "No wait, I'm getting trapped in the infosphere again." "Just remember that Scooty-Puff, Jr. suckssss..." "In a thousand years I'll get right on it." "And so, a thousand years later," "Fry, once again, infiltrated the infosphere and set off his amazing bomb." "Only this time..." "Thank you for saving the universe, Fry." " Here." " Thanks." "If you ever need a saviour again, just ask." "Oh, we will, we will." "Man!" "I can't wait to tell everyone what happened." "Yes." "Incidentally," "I need to remain under cover so I'm blanking your memory." "Did everything just taste purple for a second?" "Well, let's go home you dump poop machine." "Bender, would you do the honors..." "With gusto." "Guess I got this for you." "Oh!" "Thank you." "You know what Fry?" "I don't care if you're not the most important person in the universe." "It really makes me happy to see you right now." "Then I am the most important person in the universe." "YES!" "Subtitles by Joke0 corrections by bwian, peetee!" "Thanks to K5 and his crew!" "April, 23rd 2003 - v1"