"Kim still hasn't gotten back together with Craig." "Can you believe it, Pearl?" "Yeah, if I had a body like hers, i'd be banging everybody I could, too." "Pearl, you must've been a handful." "{\pos(192,230)}I'd like to think I broke up a few happy homes my day." "{\pos(192,230)}" " What's up, Pearl?" " Hi, honey." "{\pos(192,230)}Mom, you forgot to wash my hello Kitty halter top." "I wanted to wear it today." "{\pos(192,230)}No, sorry, Kimmy." "In case you forgot, you promised to do your own laundry I bought you those white lizard boots remember?" "I was going to clean the whole house today, but it was going to be a surprise, and you ruined it now, so forget it." "All right, i'll febreze your top as soon as I'm done with Pearl's hair." "That's my cheese casserole." "I'll be back in a Jiff." "Sorry about that, Pearl." "I had a body like yours once." "But with bigger boobs, of course." "Okay, Ginger, come on." "Come here, Ginger, inside." " Are her paws clean?" " Not super clean, no." "Then no way, Jose." "She can't come in." "I hate to turn away a pregnant dog," " but no, no." " Okay well, just tell Kim that we stopped by on the way to the doggy gyno." " All right." " Let's go outside girl." "Let's go outside." "Okay, hi." "Mom, I think Pearl fell asleep." "I don't think that's sleeping." "{\pos(192,160)}-= 110 =- " Florida "" "VO By : ¤AkaZab¤" "Subs-Addicts" [Sub-way. fr]" "{\pos(192,210)}Did you know that Pearl was my very first paying client?" "{\pos(192,200)}You know, my beauty school got in all this trouble for giving out licenses" "{\pos(192,210)}willy-manilly, my other customers turned their backs on me." "But not Pearl." "{\pos(192,210)}She stayed true blue." "{\pos(192,210)}" " Sounds like Pearl was a Pearl." " She was, Phil." "{\pos(192,210)}She had such a big heart." "{\pos(192,210)}Maybe it was fitting that it exploded in her chest." "{\pos(192,210)}I'm so sorry, honey." "Honey, look, there's Roland." "This is the second time he's been in here today." "{\pos(192,210)}I don't know, honey." "I look at him, and I have so many memories." "Bad memories." "That was me." "Switch out the sandwiches for tacos, add a couple of all-butter pound cakes," "{\pos(192,210)}you're looking at a picture of big Phil." " But you were never that big." " Bigger." "{\pos(192,210)}And what am I doing now?" "I'm just basically loading a gun" "{\pos(192,210)}with meat and cheese and aiming it right at his heart." "I'm an enabler." "{\pos(192,230)}I know it's none of my beeswax, but I have half an urge to march" "{\pos(192,230)}right over there and put that man a 2,000-calorie die" "{\pos(192,230)}with a good strong dose of rigorous, but safe," "{\pos(192,230)}- low-impact aerobic exercise." " You know what?" "You should do it, Phil." "I wasn't able to save Pearl from the grips of death, but you could save Roland." "C'est la vie, Phil." "Seize the day." "Squeeze box, you're making a lot of sense." "I think I heard you crying for help." "Maybe you heard me crying for more sandwich spread." "About seven years ago, a very concerned, and pretty impatient ice cream man urged me to lose the 200 pounds that were standing between me and my true happiness." "And that happiness was that super foxy woman over there in those flamingo pants." " Okay, I'm in." " Really?" "Just like that?" "That was easy." "I haven't had sex in like five years." " Gotcha." "Yeah." " Yeah." "Would you look at this?" "It's half past noon on a tuesday, Kim." "I've already made a fruit salsa from scratch and gone to the funeral home to do Pearl hair." "By the way, that dead hair is very tricky." "It's real flyaway." "All right, I want you to get showered." "Get up." "Let's get the day going." "No, I can't move." "I'm too traumatized over my near-death experience." "With Pearl yesterday." "Kim, you didn't have a near-death experience." "You were near death." " It's different." " Mom," "I stared death in the back of the head." "One minute, Pearl was there, and the next minute, she was there, but..." "Dead." " Are you having feelings, Kimmy?" " I think I am." "That's really interesting." "I didn't think you'd give a rat's Tiny "A" about anyone but yourself." "I thought so, too." "But we were wrong." "Hey, dudes." "So, Kim," "I got you something to take your mind off that dead lady." "A shower Cd player!" " Very high-end." " Very scarface." "Yeah, my financial situation is looking pretty solid, 'cause I got a bunch of advance deposit money for Ginger's puppies." " How much you going to get?" " The vet says she's jammed full of puppies." "There's like ten of them in there." "So the going rate for Rotts is like $1,000 a dog." "So do the math." "It's..." "It's $10,000." "I'm going to go install this." "Kim, you have got to tell Craig that Ginger was involved in a gang-banging." "I can't do that right now." "I am too upset over Pearl." "All right, but you're gonna give the Cd player back then." " I'm already used to it." " Kim, you're giving it back." "It's awesome." "I don't want the Cd player." "You'll have to return it." "What?" "Wh..." "is it 'cause I made you do math?" "I changed my mind." "I'm allowed." "It's a woman's "pejormative."" "You know what?" "You're right." "I come in with this lame-o shower Cd player, thinking that listening tunes all wet is going to make you forget about death." "Of course it's not." "My dad was right, man." "I don't think about things." "I'm really hungry." "She's making food now." "Is there going to be food?" "I'm really hungry." "Sure, she's making food now." "You go on in." "I'm going to pick a flower for milady." "Holy Moly "Pajoly"!" "That sky opened up like a car wash." "Should've got my wheels waxed." "Florida." "What can you do?" "It's a small price for living in paradise, honey." " Do I smell lentils?" " What's a lentil?" "Prepare to be delighted." "Now, this is a delicious, low-fat, low-salt, low-calorie vegetable couscous with a wonderful cheese alternative." "I smell pizza." "You're having a phantom aroma." "I smelled brownies for about a year." " Is that a phantom pizza?" " Kim, What are you doing?" "You do not bring a delicious three-cheese pizza into a house with a dieting person." "But it's helping me through my rough time." "Roland, keep your eyes on me." "Roland, I'm over here." "Bring your eyes this way." "There you go." "Now, what you're... no, Roland, give me your eyes right here." "Roland, let me see your eyes." "I don't have him, Kath." "I lost him." "Come on!" "Hi, honey." "I'm sorry I'm late." "I put Roland on the scale down at the recycling center." "Guess what?" "He lost four pounds." "And we got 12 bucks back on our bottles and cans." "That's wonderful news on both ends." "Earl grey... very high-end." "I know it's neither the time nor the place to feel anything like glee." "But I'm telling you, honey, I am so jazzed to the max about the difference i'm making in that man's life." "Phil, well, I'm jazzed that you're jazzed." "Hey, where's Kim?" "She couldn't come because she's in mourning." "But I think we should go pay our respects." "All right." "That tea needs to steep for six minutes anyway." "Well, good-bye, Pearl." " She's in a better place, honey." " Her hair." "They changed it." "This isn't the style I gave her." "Pearl wouldn't be caught dead in bangs." "See there." "Now there's a funeral person." "I'm going to go talk to him." "Excuse me." "It seems that the deceased's hair has been tampered with." "Judith, our in-house beautician, does all the hair." "But I came by yesterday and styled it, as per the wishes of the deceased." "The family purchased package "B."" "That includes casket, embalming, hair, makeup, and refreshments." "But her hair looks terrible." "Well, I think that's a little harsh, don't you?" "Judith worked in tampa for many years." "She knows what she's doing." "And between you and me, it doesn't matter." "Excuse me." "I think it does matter." "Hair was very important to Pearl, especially as it pertained to the hereafter." "Yes." "Well, if you'll excuse me, please." "Put that comb away and follow me to the door, please!" "Big deal tampa." " Hey, baby." "How you feeling?" " Pretty devastated and stuff." "So, I was up all night last night racking my brains trying to think of something to buy you to cheer you up." "And" " I totally nailed it." " I don't want anything, Craig." "I know." "And it felt really weird saying it, too." "That's a bummer, 'cause there's something really expensive outside for you." "But I mean, if you don't want it I could give it to someone else." "You know what I mean?" "A boat?" "!" "For me?" "!" "Baby... that is not a "boat."" "That..." "Is a 180 challenger, special edition." "With a rotax 1503 fuel-injected power plant, with close-looped cooling system, and full fiberglass stringer." " How'd you afford it?" " Puppy money, dude." "I already put a deposit on it and everything, baby." "I am just beyond the beyond about Pearl's hair." "I have to get it back to its normal status, before it's too late." "Kitten, what are you going to do?" " You looked so good out there." " I know." "I thought you were upstairs mourning." "Craig made me go out with him, to cheer me up." " I pretty much bought Kim a boat." " You bought her a boat?" "A boat." "Well, permission to board, sir." "I'm a bit of a salty dog myself." "Argh, matey." " Argh, matey." " Yeah, sure, Pete." " What was that voice?" " That's a pirate." "Don't say a word." "I cannot believe that you were out there sailing away, like Christopher Cross, when you could've been visiting Pearl." "We didn't even put it in the water." "We just drove it around." "I didn't want to get my hair wet." "Kim, you are coming with me to the funeral home tomorrow." "And you going to visit Pearl, and pay your respects." "And then keep watch, while I redo her hair." "Or I am telling Craig about the mutts." "All of them." "I'm serious, Kim." "Fine." "I'll go with you." "Why are you so obsessed about Pearl's hair, anyway?" "Well Kim, hair was very important to Pearl." "And Pearl was very important to me." "We had a lot in common, Pearl and i." "We were both single moms." "We've both carved out modest livings for ourselves as small business owners." "Not to mention the fact that neither our daughters gives a flying fig about us." "I give a fig." "Like, I wouldn't let you be buried in bangs." "You wouldn't?" "You look gross in bangs." "Thank you, Kim." " Is Phil here yet?" " No, he won't be in for an hour." "Good." "Look, I called in an order." " Let me check." " Thank you." "{\pos(192,230)}I was just about to leave." "They said you wouldn't be in for a while." "{\pos(192,230)}I had to come early, talk to my bread broker." "{\pos(192,230)}Bread broker, cool." "All right." "Well, I guess i'll see you later?" " All right." "Okay, great." " Here you go." "You." "I'm going to do some serious damage to these sandwiches." "Listen to me." "Dieting is hard." "Nobody knows that better than I do." "I'm telling you that you have got to work through the temptation." "Because what's on the other side Roland, is something that's so, so special." "No, I'm just going to eat." "If you choose to eat those sandwiches, you are officially eighty-sixed from this island." "Okay, just going to eat." "Scissors, check." "Combs, check." "Scrunchies, check." "Shampoo, in case there's time, check." "I don't know going get Pearl's head in the sink, due to the Rigors of Mortis." "All right." "Let's go, Kim." "No, I told Craig i'd stay with Ginger, in case she goes into labor." " So I can't go." "Sorry." " Come on." " She's nowhere near giving birth." " Really?" "How can you tell?" "Because I had a baby, that's how." "She doesn't have the look." "Her paws aren't swollen at all." "Though I will tell you, she's going to need a good bra after all this." "Just put her in the garage." "I have a gorgeous warm bean salad sitting on the counter, and I do not want her getting into it." "Come on." "Let's go." "It's Phyllis chillers in here." "Excuse me..." "Excuse me, hello." "I am looking for a ms." "Pearl schmidt." " I believe Pearl's gone." " I'm well aware of that." "Thank you." "But I just need to speak to the body, privately please." " No, the body is gone." " What?" " What did they do with her?" " They buried her this morning." "It was a private burial, i'm sorry." "Okay, let's go." "I didn't even get to say goodbye to her." "And with her hair all banged up like that." "I'm going to go." "Pearl... i'm so sorry." "But she was a bit of a homewrecker." "Jeez, but everyone makes mistakes." "Pearl, wherever you are!" "Pearl, I Miss you so much." "Look over here!" "It's so unusual!" " Different!" " Very feminine!" "Sexy!" "Oh, my god!" "Oh, my god!" "Craig would love this one." "Can we get it for him?" "It's very rock'n roll!" "Look at this one for me!" "I love the leopard." "I don't know." "I'd have to see you in it." "Do you think it's too matchy?" "Shame on the island." "What the sam hill?" "Shame on the island." "Shame on the island." "This is not good for business." "Shame on the island." "I don't know why you needed a $1,500 casket." " You have expensive taste, missy." " I want to be comfy." "What's that moaning?" "Kim, come here, dude." "Me and Ginger are in the white room." "The white room?" "!" "Hey, her paws are clean, but I'm not so sure about the afterbirth junk, man." "She is in full on labor, yo." "Doggy labor in the white room!" "I'm not even allowed to have drinks in here." "Craig, you got to get her out of here." "Come on." "Please?" "They don't make this pile carpeting anymore." "I can't move her, she's giving birth right now." "For goodness sake." "Kim, go get towels." "Hurry." "And not the good ones with the sea shells." "Go, go." "Is that a puppy?" "Listen to me." "I was one of you!" "These were my pants!" "I couldn't wear these pants." "They were small on me." "Please tell them I was one of them." "Please, Roland." "Can't we just talk?" "Over a sandwich?" "Hang in there, champ." "Come here." "You kind of stink, girl." "Kim, you've got to tell him that there are no purebred Rottweilers" " coming out of Ginger." " I don't know." "I feel bad." " I mean, he got me a boat." " Well, you need to prepare him." "Let me tell you something, when I was pregnant with you, your dad desperately wanted a boy." "And I knew by my cravings for beer and salty foods, that it was a girl, but I didn't tell him." "And guess what?" "When you came out, he was destroyed." "I mean ruined, Kim." " Is that why he left?" " No." "I mean..." "He said it was something." "Maybe a tiny little part of the reason." " But the whole reason why he left..." " Something's happening, you guys." "It's a cross between beautiful and gross." " I want to cry and vomit." " Tell him." "Craig, my dad wanted a boy." "Okay, here we go." "We are going to be rich, baby!" " More sandwich spread?" " What do you think?" "Roland, I really owe you an apology." "You know, my mother spent my entire childhood trying to keep me on a strict diet." "And I mean she did everything." "From hiding food in a locked closet, to putting me on some very aggressive, and equally dangerous experimental diets." "And I'd be lying if I told you some of them didn't involve public nudity." "The point is, none of them worked." "Because I wasn't ready to change." "And I was doing the same thing to you." "And I really, really am sorry." "It's all right." "I mean look, if you didn't butt into my life," "I would've never protested your store," "I would've never met sassy over there." "She's fat hot." "Nice." "She's very nice." "We're still in that kind of beginning stage." "Real hot and heavy." "She is insatiable." " Sex-wise." " Food-wise." "{\pos(192,230)}I guess what hurts the most is that I can't trust you." "{\pos(192,230)}Like, ever." "I mean, it was me and you, dude." "{\pos(192,230)}So is what I want to know, how could you do this to me?" "I mean, how could you live with yourself?" "Craig, leave her alone." "She's been through enough." "I mean, how did this happen?" " I don't know." " Well, what am I going to do?" "Because I have spent a lot of money that I now do not have." "I can't even look at you." "I can't even look at her." "Leave her alone!" "Why are you, out of all people, defending her?" "'Cause I know what it's like to have a checkers past." " Why don't you just leave?" " Okay, you know what?" "I am going to go." "Because honestly, Ginger..." "I don't know what our next step is." "You have changed everything." "It will never be the same, ever." "I'm not even going to look at you ever again!" "You know?" "I think what we just saw is the cycle of life." "Pearl died here, and ten mutts were born." "I want to name this one Pearl." "What?" "Defending Ginger?" "Naming a dog after Pearl?" "I'm becoming very confused by you having feelings." "I know." "Right?" "Florida." "You are a fickle mistress." " What's that?" " Rainbow sherbet." "I stopped by 32 flavors." "That sounds refreshing." "Did you get me one?" "I'm sorry." "I didn't know you wanted any." "Kim, who wouldn't want a herbert on a hot day?" " Can I have a little taste?" " I don't think there's enough." "Just a tiny, tiny taste." " Beepy deepy beepy deepy!" " My daughter's so generous." "Lucky you're getting any, "ingrade."" "Team Subs-Addicts""