" Why sing?" " Why do you sing?" "Because I get to experience a lot of feelings, it's really a lot of fun." "You get a feel all kinds of things that you can hardly find if you went to parties all year round and made it with everyone you ever wanted to." "Because you get to feel things that are in your imagination and are the real truth." "That's why I like music, because it's creative and as it's happening creates feelings." "What could I feel if I attended your concert tonight?" "I'd like you to feel like standing up and jumping up and down in time with the music and get sweaty and just go with the music." "Just go with it." "Like, rock-and-roll's very rhythmic, that's what it's all about, you know." "It's 1, 2, 3, 4." "# Ye-ah" "# You thought you had found yourself a good girl" "# One who would love you and give you the world" "# Then you find out that you've been misused" "# Come to me, honey I'll do what you choose" "# I want you Well, tell mama all about it" "# You tell mama what you feel" "# Tell your mama, babe what you want" "# Tell your mama, babe what you need" "# What you want What you need" "# What you want, whoa" "# I'll make everything all right" "# I tell you When you get lonely... #" "I figure everybody does, huh?" "Because, as a matter of fact, everybody does." "I'll tell you what you need, baby, when you get those strange thoughts in your head, you don't know where they came from, man." "You get those strange, little weirdnesses happening to you, you don't know what they are." "I'll tell you what you need." "# You need a sweet loving mama babe." "# Honey, a sweet talking mama, babe" "# You know, somebody to listen to you" "# Someone to want you Someone to hold you" "# Someone to need you Someone to use you" "# Someone to want you Someone to need you" "# Someone to hold you" "# You need a mama-ma-ma ma-ma mama, babe" "# Go to a mama-ma-ma-ma, yeah" "# Mama-ma-ma-ma-mama" "# Tell mama all about it" "# Tell mama all about it" "# What you need What you want" "# Anything I can do" "# Anything I can do" "# I'll be your mama, babe Yeah, your mama, babe" "# Whoa, your mama, babe Your mama, babe" "# Whoa, mama, babe Whoa, mama, babe" "# Wow!" "I'll make everything all right. #" ""Dear family, I managed to pass my 27th birthday" ""without really feeling it." ""It's such a funny game." ""Two years ago, I didn't even want to be in it." ""No, that's not true." "I've been looking around and I've noticed something." ""After you reach a certain level of talent " ""and quite a few have that talent - the deciding factor is ambition." ""Or, as I see it, how much you really need." ""Need to be loved and need to be proud of yourself." ""And I guess that's what ambition is," ""it's not all a depraved quest for position or money." ""Maybe it's for love, lots of love." ""Hah!" "Janice."" "Port Arthur - to a lot of people, it was a really good town to grow up in." "I never thought so." "Janice never thought so and she couldn't figure out how to make herself like everybody else." "Thank goodness." "# And if my love could take a walk... #" "Our parents, I'm not exactly sure how they actually met, but they started dating after mother had gone away to college and come back and started working." "Daddy was a mechanical engineer, but he was able to get a job because at that time so many people were away fighting, you know." "So he got a job at Texaco and he stayed there his entire working life." "And he came home from work one day and told mother," ""Let's do something for posterity"." "So, that's Janice being born in 1943." "She joined the choir and they kicked her out of the choir." "She wouldn't follow directions and they said, "You're out!"." "Like most women, Janice wanted to be beautiful and curvaceous and skinny like the pictures that she saw in magazines." "And she saw herself, you know, gain weight and get chunky, her skin broke out and her features weren't that fine, beautiful female that we see in pictures everywhere." "And so she had questions about her own desirability." "# It don't make no difference, babe yeah" "# I better hold it now" "# I better need it, yeah" "# I better use it till the day I die... #" "She demanded to be different." "You know, our parents had given us permission to do it and then weren't aware of what would happen if you did it." "Janice was the first one in our family to find that out." "That if you are rocking the boat you might get noticed and she rocked the boat as often as she could." "She liked rocking the boat." "The world was changing and I think that Janice's interpretation of what being good was included things that a lot of people in the South weren't yet ready to include." "She said I think integration is the right thing to do." "Well, our hometown had an active KKK chapter and what happened was she was harassed by some guys in her class, they threw pennies at her, they called her names and she became a target for the last three years of high school." "She started dressing differently, wearing loafers without socks and tight skirts." "Her hair was becoming more like a beatnik and still there was an aspect of her sexuality and her personality that was at odds." "Where does she go?" "What does she do?" "She was pushing the limits and women weren't supposed to swear and women were supposed to be demure and not know that anything existed below their waistlines." "I met her in high school and she wouldn't go away." "She was always calling us up, one of us or the other and say, "What are you doing tonight?" "Where are we going?"." "She was a lot of trouble." "We went to Louisiana and she would start fights, which we didn't want started because the Cajuns were known good fighters, but she got a kick out of it just playing the bad girl." "She wasn't a bad girl, but she just liked to bait the men." "You know, we would deny all knowledge of her and barely escaped with our lives." "That made her real dangerous to take to a bar." "I mean, she was amusing." "So, we took her to the beach with us." "She borrowed some records which were obscure." "One of them was a record by Odetta." "# Love," "# Oh, love Oh, careless love... #" "All of a sudden, she busted into a perfect imitation of Odetta on the record and everybody was just stunned." "This little troublesome kid, you know, can sing that well." "# Oh, love Oh, love" "# Oh, careless love" "# Oh, love, oh, love Oh, careless love" "# Well, love Oh-oh, love" "# Oh, careless love... #" "This particular night, Janice said let's go see this wonderful Austin you're always talking about." "So, we pulled in at 5:30 in the morning and you could hear music." "And it wasn't recorded music, it was live music and Janice grabbed my arm and she said, "Jack, I'm going to like it here"." "That's when I discovered that I had an incredibly loud voice." "So, I started singing blues, because that was always what I liked." "And, you know, I got a bluegrass band, played hillbilly music in Austin, Texas, for free beer." "I used to sing in folk clubs just for goofs." "We called ourselves the Waller Creek Boys, and instantly Janice became one of the boys." "People just stared open-mouthed and she was not ever accepted, really, except by the folk community." "Growing up, her peers picked on her and bullied her and by the time she got to Austin and by the time I knew her, she had already been profoundly hurt over and over." "And so in Austin, it was the same way." "Every year, the fraternities held a contest and people could nominate someone to be ugliest man and someone nominated Janice and all these jerks voted for her." "And it crushed her." "Saddest thing I ever saw, you know." "It really was." "Till that point, I'd never seen Janice cry." "Janice had a very tough exterior." "But it really got her bad and I said, "Janice, they don't mean anything to you." ""They're not even in your class"." "It became increasingly harder to fit into a group of angry, angry men who liked to pick on her." "Even though she ran around with a tight group of friends who were into books and ideas, she needed to go out to where the people were that wrote those books." "Where the people were that sang those songs." "Where does she go?" "What does she do?" "# I just had to get out of Texas, baby" "# Lord, it was bringing me down... #" "When did you come to San Francisco?" "In about '63 was when I couldn't stand Texas any more and I went to California, because it's a lot freer and you can do what you want to do and nobody bugs you." "'15,000 San Franciscans protest segregation in Birmingham." "'Negro and white citizens marching in unity for equality in San Francisco.'" "We used all hang out at a bar called the Anxious Asp on Green Street, North Beach." "We went to a party one night and, you know, with a little bit of wine and a little bit of, you know, whatever," "We kind of got to talking and two weeks later she moved in with me." "Sometime we went down to Monterey and she would sing in the hootenannies and she would win tickets for us to get to the main arena." "One time, we went there and there was Bob Dylan, her idol." "And she walks up to him and she said, "Oh, Bob." "I just love you!" ""You know, I'm going to be famous one day"." "He said, "Yeah." ""We're all going to be famous"." "I'll never forget that." "She definitely felt the blues." "Bessie Smith and all the blues singers, she loved those people." "And I think she emulated them in the sense of wanting to be like them." "You know, to have the pain." "I guess that's why she drank like she did and took drugs because that's all part of the whole picture." "She definitely needed people to tell her how great she was and she needed that stroking all the time." "I don't think she was with girls to shock people, I think she was with girls because that's what she felt at the moment." "And I think she was totally in a conflict all the time with herself." "Constantly." "And she was unhappy, she was quite unhappy and I think on the stage it made her feel that she was somebody, you know." "That she had something to offer." "I said, I just think this is not working for both of us, you want to go off and do things with other people and I'm not strong enough to handle that." "She got with this English fellow and they were into shooting up and stuff like that and that was never my style." "You know, I could just never get into that." "Janice was in North Beach and she developed an intense relationship with Peter de Blanc, then Janice got into methedrine." "Janice told me that they were living in that building behind Tommy's joint and had not a stick of furniture and Peter was just sitting there for hours on end throwing a Super Ball against the wall and catching it." "And she was skin and bones." "She used - overused - lost weight, got so strung out that her group of friends held a party and they passed a hat to get enough money to put on a Greyhound bus and send her back home." "# A woman left lonely... #" "She and Peter decided that they both needed to get their lives cleaned up and would go to their home towns and get their lives together and then they'd get together and get married." "# She'll do crazy things, yeah-eh" "# On lonely occasions... #" ""Dear Peter, well, I'm home now." ""I have your picture on the desk where I do my homework" ""and everyone in the family has seen it at least three times." ""Everyone agrees you're handsome," ""I really love you." ""In attempting to find a semblance of a pattern in my life," ""I find I have gone out with great vigour every time" ""and gotten really fucked up." ""All I did was be wild, drink constantly, fucked people, sang." ""In San Francisco, kind of wanting to find an old man and be happy," ""but I didn't." "I just found Linda and became a meth freak." ""Christ, I want to be happy so fucking bad."" "# ..for granted, Lord, yeah" "# Honey, she doesn't understand" "# No, no... #" "He came home at one point and met the family and asked our father formally for her hand in marriage." ""Well, now it's Saturday and your letter didn't come." ""So, I'm very sad and moping around the house and mother's worried." ""Baby, what's happening?" ""You could really be hurting me and hell, I couldn't tell." ""Am I still happy?" ""Do I still have you?"" "She was embarrassed that he wasn't going to show up after she had told her mum and dad that he was." "He was evidently living with a woman who had gotten pregnant and Janice only discovered that when she happened to call him and this woman answered the telephone." "Did you ever go back to Port Arthur?" "I went back once, it was a bummer." "I ain't going back again!" "No, it's no good." "Chet asked me to come and see his new band and that's when" "I heard that Big Brother was auditioning women." "So, I went by his house and said, you know, I'm going to go home" "I can ask about Janice, if you like." "And she found out that I was there and we spent the whole day talking about what was going on since she had left and we should go and see a rock and roll band and there's one playing around the corner." "Didn't have anything to drink because she was sober and we listened to, I think, two songs and she turned to me and she said, "That's what I want to do!"." "So I said, "OK." "Let's go figure this out"." "He said I'm not going to go and take you until you tell your parents." "He waited in the car while Janice went in to tell our parents." "Janice went in and said she was going to Austin for the weekend and left and went to San Francisco." "# I guess I'm going to make it somehow" "# But you made nothing with me darling... #" ""Mother and dad, with a great deal of trepidation," ""I bring the news " ""I'm in San Francisco." ""Now, let me explain." ""Chet Helms is an old friend, now he's Mr big in SF." ""He encouraged me to come out," ""it seems the whole city had gone rock and roll and it has." ""And he assured me fame and fortune, so I came." ""I'm so sorry." ""My love to Mike and Laura." "Love, Janis."" "MUSIC:" "Down On Me by Big Brother and The Holding Company" "# Looks like everybody in this whole round world" "# They're down on me Come on... #" "I would pick her up and I'd drive her back to where she was staying." "I mean, she was always like, I don't know whether this is going to work out." "I probably, I should go back to Texas." "I don't know if I should do this." "She had a lot of misgivings." "She was very afraid of drugs." "She said, I don't ever want to see anybody shooting drugs." "I can't stand to see that, because if I see that, it's just going to take her out so much." "She came out to San Francisco and had this coffee-house career." "She almost died that time, she lost all this weight and she went back to Texas and her mother said, if you ever go back out there again, you're going to die." "# When you see a hand that's held out towards you" "# Give it some love... #" " Did your parents encourage you to sing at all?" "" " Oh, no, no, no." "They wanted me to be a schoolteacher, you know." "Like all parents." "But I just started singing when I was about 17." "I listened to a lot of music first, you know, and one day I started singing and I could sing." "It was like, it was a surprise." "To say the least." "# Said jack o'diamonds Said jack o'diamonds" "# Whoa-oh, I know you of old" "# Honey, you robbed me out of my silver" "# And out of all my gold... #" ""Dear Mother and Dad, Daddy brought up the college issue, which is good," ""because I probably would have continued avoiding it till it went away." ""I don't think I can go back now." ""I don't know all the reasons, but I just feel this is a truer feeling, true to me." ""I don't feel like I'm lying now."" "# Now see the cuckoo she's a cruel bird" "# And she warbles when she flies... #" ""I have to see this through first." "If I don't, I'd always be" ""thinking about singing and being good and known" ""and feel like I cheated myself, you know."" "# Well, say goodbye Well, say goodbye" "# Ooh-hoo-hoo... #" ""Weak as it is, I apologise for being so just plain bad at the family." ""I'm just sorry." ""Love, Janis."" "Folk blues, you know." "I was a folk singer, you know, and sang blues mostly." "Country blues, old-time blues, slow..." " Didn't you have a job soldering once?" " Soldering?" "No, a keypunch operator." "I was a waitress in a bowling alley once, too." "Playing is the life, the most just fun there is." "Feeling things and really getting into it." "That's fun." "# Amazing Grace" "# Well, how sweet the sound" "# That saved a sinning wretch like me... #" "At that time, there was definitely a sense of camaraderie." "If you knew the Grateful Dead had a house on Ashbury, you know, it wouldn't be unlikely that if you were in the neighbourhood, you'd just drop by and hang out with those guys and smoke a joint or something like that." "# A sinning wretch like me... #" "We were all, sort of, riding the same wave, in a sense." "All part of the same scene and all shared, in some ways, the same values that we were part of this counterculture revolutionary music thing that was going to, you know, change the world." "She was just funny, unassuming, sexy, and sort of a, a kind of like, almost a sort of Huck Finn innocence to her." "The absolute child-woman ideal of The Haight." "Well, I met Janice as a romantic interest for one of my bandmates, Pigpen, Ron McKernan." "We called him the mighty pig." "It was an on again, off again little affair that they had." "And on the nights that Janice would come over and visit," "I got very little sleep because Janice was not real quiet in the rack." "So, all night long, it would be, "Daddy, daddy, daddy!"." "All that kind of stuff." "I mean, endlessly." ""Isn't Pigpen cute?" ""They make Pigpen T-shirts now with his picture on it for fans." ""I have one in red." ""Those people are all friends of mine, aren't they amazing?" ""The people with stars after their names are members of the band." ""I'm in the back, on the left, really an amazing picture." ""They weren't dressed up, they looked that way all the time." ""Now, taken in perspective, I'm not so far out at all, eh?"" "There was a party, there was a party in the city in an apartment on California Street." "Someone opened this bottle of this stuff that is called Cold Duck." " You don't see it around much." " Sparkling wine." "And it started to go around the room and people were taking chugs of it and Janice took a big swig of it and someone said to Janice, "Oh, man." "You must really want to get high"." "And she said, "What?" "!"." "And someone said, "Yeah, there is, like, 68 hits of acid in that bottle"." "Anyway, she ran into the bathroom and tried to throw up." "# They don't forget it Love is their whole... #" "But she got very high anyway and we went from this party to The Fillmore." "# Have a little tenderness" "# Yeah" "# All you got to do is" "# Everybody just has to" "# Get on up, get on up" "# Get on up, get on up" "# Now get on up" "# I got to... #" "And Otis Redding was, I think, in his second night and it was his second show." "They did two shows." "So there weren't a lot of people there." "And I remember sitting with her." "We sat down in the middle of the floor and Otis Redding came out with his band." "# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah" "# You got to, got to, got to... #" "I think when she saw him and saw the way he moved and how he interpreted a song, I really think it very much affected her." "I mean, literally, she'd start doing this, "Gotta, gotta, gotta", she stole that." "# Got to, got to, got to" "# Oh... #" "Billie Holiday, Aretha Franklin, they are so subtle, they can milk you with two notes." "They could go no further than from A to B and they could make you feel like they've told you the whole universe." "You know?" "And Otis, oh, Otis." "My man." "But, I mean, I don't know that yet." "All I've got now is strength but maybe if I keep singing, maybe I'll get it." "That's what I think." "In the very beginning, she didn't take over as," ""I'm the singer, I'm the lead singer"." "She really tried to integrate into the band and be part of it." "The big turning point was Monterey Pop." "A very good friend of mine said," ""You've got to come to the Monterey Pop Festival." ""There's never been a pop festival"." "You know you're going to have a great time - it's a weekend, it's in Monterey, California." "Simon and Garfunkel were going to perform there." "That's all I knew about." "So I came there with my khaki pants and a tennis sweater." "And..." "I was astonished by everything that I saw." "I got a call from Lou Adler, who was the producer of Monterey Pop." "He was also the manager of the Mamas  the Papas." "He told me, "There's a whole new Monterey Pop Festival." ""Will Big Brother come?"." "I saw the future." "They offered me a number and I went for it." "I didn't give a damn about the money." "I knew that this was going to be a monster." "So I vividly remember sitting in the grounds there, being surrounded by this unusual crowd and then they announced the group." "Three or four years ago," "I ran to into a chick in Texas by the name of Janis Joplin." "And I heard her sing and Janis and I hitchhiked to the West Coast." "A lot of things have gone down since that time but it gives me a great deal of pride to present, today, the finished product of three or four years of work - Big Brother and The Holding Company." "# Knock you, rock you" "# We're going to sock it to you now... #" "Cass was sitting there in one of the rows and I kind of had an eye on her during Janis because they had been a little critical because they were Los Angelenos." "And the Los Angelenos were somewhat critical of the San Franciscans, in terms of the bands." "And so I kind of wanted to watch her when Janis sang." "# Sitting down by my window" "# Just looking out at the rain" "# Something came along" "# Honey, grabbed a hold of me" "# And it felt like a ball and chain... #" "# Last time" "# And I say oh-whoa-whoa" "# Honey, this can't be" "# This can't be in vain" "# No, no, no, no, no" "# No, no" "# And I say oh-whoa-whoa" "# Honey, this can't be" "# B-b-b-b-b-be, be, be, be" "# In vain" "# No, no No, no, no, no" "# And I want someone that can tell me" "# Come on" "# Tell me why" "# Oh, tell me why" "# Oh, people tell me why love" "# Honey, why love is like" "# Well, it's like a ball and" "# And a chai-ai-ai-ai-ain. #" "Once she caught real recognition at the Monterey Pop Festival, I think she began to see what the possibilities were and the possibilities were somewhat over-the-top." ""Dear mother, at last a tranquil day and time to write all the good news." ""I'm now safely moved into my new room in our beautiful house" ""in the country." ""Gosh, I can't seem to find anything else to talk about." ""This band is my whole life now." ""I really am totally committed and I dig it." ""I wanted to send you these clippings." ""Since Monterey, all this has come about." ""Did Port Arthur News have anything on these?" "If so, please send." ""I just may be a star some day." ""You know, it's funny, as it gets closer and more probable, being" ""a star is really losing its meaning but whatever "it" means, I'm ready." ""Things are going so well for me personally." ""I have a boyfriend, he's head of Country Joe and the Fish," ""a band from Berkeley." ""He's a Capricorn like me and is 25 and, so far," ""we're getting along fine." ""Everyone in the rock scene just thinks it's the cutest thing" ""they've ever seen and it is rather cute, actually"." "We were never in love with each other." "No." "No, there was no sizzle going on." "We were good friends." "We were both control freaks, both lead singers." "There was a maternal, feminine side of her that never was allowed to grow." "She was really trying hard, you know?" "And her mother was coming to town." "She wanted to cook chow mein for her mother." "She was so worried that her mother would like her apartment and" "Seidman had just made that poster of her naked with the necklaces." "We put them all up on the wall." "We went out to visit her, the summer of love, as a family." "My brother and I were the only teenagers who probably went out with their parents." "We're going to see Janis, we're walking down the street, she's showing us around." "I was so excited." "Then we went to The Avalon Ballroom and Big Brother was not on the bill that night." "But they went on and did three or four songs." "Moby Grape let them have a set because Janis' parents were there." "When we were getting ready to leave," "I remember overhearing one of my parents tell the other one," ""You know, dear, I don't think we're going to have" ""much influence any more"." "I think that her own telling of her story was about the ability to make your life fit your values." "And she found that opportunity in the music world of the 1960s." "The social acceptance that she'd always wanted was there and it just propelled her forward." "# Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on" "# Didn't I make you feel" "# Like you were the only one man?" "#" "It felt so fresh and so different for someone who'd been an outcast." "# A woman possibly can?" "# Honey, you know I did" "# And each time I tell myself that I, well" "# I think I've had enough" "# I'm going to show you, baby, that a woman can be tough" "# I want you to come on, come on come on, come on" "# And take it" "# Take another little piece of my heart now, baby" "# Break it" "# Break another little bit of my heart" "# Oh, yeah" "# Have a" "# Have another little piece of my heart now, baby" "# You know you got it if it makes you feel good. #" "You got another manager, Albert Grossman, who also manages Bob Dylan." "Yeah." "He's better." ""Dear mother, as of yesterday afternoon, we are" ""officially with Columbia." "Wow, I'm so lucky." ""25, 25, 25, it's all too incredible." ""I just fumbled around being a mixed-up kid" ""and then fell into this." ""Finally it looks like something is going to work for me." "Incredible"." ""February 20th, 1968." "Dear mother, our record is a success story" ""in itself." ""We've got a gold album in three days." ""And the most fantastic thing of all happened at the Rose Bowl." ""The cops wouldn't let the kids off the grass near us and," ""all of a sudden, they broke, just like a wave," ""and swarmed onto the field." ""They were pulling on my clothes, my beads," ""calling, 'Janis, Janis, we love you'."" "# Have another little piece of my heart now, baby" "# You know you got it if it makes you feel good. #" "She had a sense that, as long as people gave her the stage, she would be a winner." "Sit down, boys." "Come on, boys." "Let's sit down." "There we are, sitting down." "Fantastic." "Is there a San Francisco sound?" "And, if so, what is it and how did it start?" "The thing that makes what they call the San Francisco music scene, as far as I'm concerned, is, like, first of all, the freedom to create here." "For some reason, a lot of musicians ended up here and ended up together and were at complete freedom to do whatever they wanted to until they came up with their own kind of music." "What do you think, Sam?" "That's what we call love music, baby." "# Had no chance to say I love you and I need you, baby. #" "Not bad." "Here we are, together again at last, by popular demand." "How are you?" "'I don't know what it was, we sort of hit it off right away." "'Was she romantically attached to me?" "I would hope so.'" "May I light your fire, my child?" " I guess not." " Apparently not, no." "I would have bet against it myself." "'We were good friends and, I will level with you, we may or may not have ended up intimate.'" "I just, you know..." "My memory is so bad." "Or so good." "We lived in the Chelsea Hotel while we were making Cheap Thrills and while we were touring and we lived in Los Angeles." "About half the time we were in" "Hollywood and half the time we were at the Chelsea Hotel in Manhattan." "And it was just so much fun." "We would get together and do heroin at these people's rooms." "And just kind of not nod off or go to sleep or something have really nice, mellow conversations." "# If you believe in magic" "# Don't be afraid" "# Afraid to use it, baby" "# No, no, no, no, no, no" "# Come on home" "# Dressed in mystic silk" "# Or wearing rich rags and waste" "# Darling, please come on back to me" "# I know we can be" "# Part of a magic race. #" "She liked New York and it had that tombstone quality for her so I was going to do a film with her because I really liked her a lot and she was recording stuff with the band and" "I would go and listen and film them." "I was interested mostly in how she understood to control her singing because her singing had this thing of when she'd lose it, she would shout and scream." "And sometimes that was very effective but it couldn't be the music had to have something more to it than that." "I think it's a real good..." " Let's do Summertime." " OK, let's go." "Over to you." "She goes..." "# Don't you cry... #" "# No, no, no, no, no, no No, no, no, no" "# Don't you cry. #" " ..at the very end of the song." " In the song, last chord of the song." "The first G major arpeggio, I think, is wrong." "When she says "cry"." " What you want?" "Six arpeggios of G minor?" "" " G minor." "Because it changes to G minor for two after that." "It's already in the major, he's trying to get it in the minor." "Why don't you do 4 G minors?" "We can do it either way." "They're both valid approaches but I think..." "It's 10 o'clock." "I think by 4 we could have Summertime." "Let's say we'll be done by 12 o'clock, 1 o'clock, and we can spend a few hours doing something else." "If you all voted to do a bunch of them tonight, that's OK with me but I personally don't agree with it." "Playing it and listening to it back ain't going to teach us a damn thing." "I know exactly what that song sounds like and I've racked my brain to try and get ideas for it, as I'm sure everybody else has." "...G major and G minor when you sing, "Don't you cry"." "How do you know what it...?" "Turn that thing off." "OK, all right." "Don't go away." "MUSIC:" "Summertime" "# Oh, one # of these mornings # child, you'll rise up singing, babe" "# I said you're going to go" "# Honey, going to sprea-ea-ead your wings" "# Honey, take" "# Take to the sky" "# Lord, the sky" "# But till that morning" "# Honey, no nothing's gonna harm you, babe" "# I said, honey nothing's ever gonna let you down" "# Oh, it just wouldn't do it" "# Hush" "# Baby, baby, baby, baby" "# Baby, baby, baby" "# No, no, no, no, no, no don't you cry" "# No. #" "Dear family, lots of trouble in the band." "Most of them revolving around the fact that I think I'm hot shit, as I'm told by everyone from Albert down, and the band is sloppy." "When she came into the band, Peter was the leader of the band, the bass player." "And James was the mythic, iconic, you know, beautiful figure." "He represented the band." "And then here comes Janis and when she joined the band, she became both of those things." "They had a very complicated reaction to her fame." "There was a cadre of hangers-on that sort of insulated her from her band, from what I could see." "And it was just a matter of time until somebody tried to polish her up and make a big star out of her." "It's crazy now to think back that we signed our management agreement with the guy." "But I think from the very get-go, there was a sense that he was not a big fan of ours, that he really was into Janis." "But we wanted to believe that he would work for the whole band." "And the guys in the band were powerless." "No-one had the ability to stop that from happening." "She was a singularity and she attracted that kind of attention." "She cared about Big Brother's career, she loved those guys, but there was something that she saw that was beyond that." "And if she didn't do it, she'd never know if she could." ""Dear family, so we're back in California for 2 more weeks." "After that begins my hardest task." "I told you, remember, that I was leaving Big Brother and going to do a thing on my own." "There'll be a whole lot of pressure cos of the vibes created by my leaving Big Brother, and also, at just how big I am now."" "Nobody ever saw her wearing those kind of clothes, but that's the kind of clothes she had when she came from Texas." "If someone said, "What did you learn from Janis?" "What did she teach you?"." "If I had to say it in a sentence, it's emotional honesty, and the price of not emotional honesty." "She started to lose that." "She started to become something that people expected of her." "She started to become a caricature of what she was, and play it for people, you know?" "And I think that hurt her in some way." ""Take this lonely heart from one lonely girl." "Reaching too high, babe, can't help from getting burned."" "Everything she ever wrote, pretty much, is autobiographical, and I thought the "Reaching too high, babe", too, was right..." "This was done right at the time when she's leaving Big Brother." "She knows she's kind of going to go for some higher level of fame and stardom and, you know, she might fall on her face." "She knew that it might not work out, she might get burned." "The fallout for James and Peter and David was significant, because Janis asked Sam to come with her to her new band." "I loved Jan, I loved her all the way through, you know." "The first time I ever saw her, she just had this attitude that I like." "It wasn't belligerent but it was non-compromising." "MUSIC:" "Maybe by Janis Joplin" "She's loud, she's..." "You know, one of these loud Texas women." "She was real smart and considerate most of the time." "We both had real quick tempers." "# Ma-a-a-a-aybe" "# Oh, if I could pray" "# And I try, dear" "# You might come back home" "# Home to me... #" "They called me up to play with Janis, so they sent me a ticket and I went to New York." "I went there, opened the door, and this girl had on a bra and some panties and said, "Hi, I'm Janis"." "I said, "Hi, I'm in the right place"." "# Maybe..." "# Maybe, maybe, maybe... #" "When she started singing, I said, "Damn!" "Are you sure she white?" "!"" "Now, you quit Big Brother and The Holding Company." "Why did you do that?" "Just because..." "It was sort of just time for us to, I think, to go on and do something else, you know what I mean?" "Like, you grow together, you know, a certain way and you sort of exhaust each other." "You exhaust the good that you can do for each other, and it was just time for each of us to start growing from..." "In other directions, do you know what I mean?" "'I think you really grow as a musician, and that's what we're, after all, we're supposed to be all about.'" "'Just trying to get better at what we do, you know?" "'" "San Francisco was the first place, the first community, where Janis really felt at home." "When she left Big Brother, she lost it." "The pressure to succeed was huge, and she was carrying around this weight." "She didn't know how to lead a band, that's one of the reasons it was a mistake, you know." "She didn't know how to lead the band, and she was in charge, so she had people putting together that and for her, along with a lot of other strange people who were appointed band directors, you know." "It wasn't working." "There were changes in personnel, and none of it solved anything." "We went to Europe only, like, 2 months into touring." "She's there with a new band which doesn't know what the hell it's supposed to be." "OK, you guys." "You know what?" "No." "I'm making a problem." "We played in Frankfurt and Janis was freaking out." "We peeped out the curtain and all of these dudes were sitting there with their little haircuts, like you put a bowl on their head and cut around the bowl." "Is everybody ready?" "!" "But we felt like playing." "We said, "Hey, man, we play the show." "If y'all want to boogie, come on up here with us and boogie"." "MUSIC:" "Raise Your Hand by Janis Joplin" "# If there's something you need" "# Hon, that you've never ever, ever had" "# I know you never had it" "# Oh, honey don't you just sit there crying" "# Don't just there feeling bad" "# No, no, no" "# You'd better get up" "# Now, don't you understand?" "# And raise your hand" "# Hey, hey" "# I said raise your hand" "# Right here, right now!" "Ay!" "#" "I'm nobody, I'm just a fan!" "No, I'm just a fan!" "Cos, like, I'm crazy about her!" "Where from you are, friend?" " I can't talk if you're taking pictures of me!" "" " Why not?" "Because I'm not groovy, she's groovy, look at her!" "I guess, because we're strangers in foreign lands, the Kozmic Blues Band came together." "The Albert Hall in London was the last concert, and Janis knew that Bob Dylan had sold out, and she was really excited about playing the Albert Hall, and she did sell out." "She got people dancing in the aisles at the Albert Hall, and she was just ecstatic after." "Oh, excited!" "Nobody ever, nobody, anybody ever thought it would be that good!" "Nobody's ever fucking got up yet, no-one's gotten to dance and dug it, no-one's ever done anything there, and they did it!" "Man, they fucking got up and grooved, and then they listened!" "God, I'm so happy!" "When Janis was onstage and things were going well, all was right with the world." "But after that hour, you got to come offstage." "She used to say that it was like making love, being on the stage, you know." "But it's an illusion." "When the show's over, the audience leaves and you're left with yourself." "She rarely was using heroin before a concert, because it wasn't the right kind of energy for onstage and she cared about that." "But her after-the-concert fix was a real regular thing." "We were devolving into this drug use that was way out of hand." "I have to digress for a second and say, when Janis was in Big Brother, Peter didn't do any drugs, you know, so out of respect to him, we kept it toned down a lot, you know." "So now she's in Kozmic Blues, so we're doing, really, a lot of drugs, you know, because Peter's not," "Daddy isn't there any more, you know." "We're free and we can do all these drugs now." "So, it really got out of hand, you know, in Los Angeles, in particular, the Landmark Hotel." "She called me to her room and she said," ""Your services are no longer needed"." "And so then we shot up some heroin and she said," ""Well, aren't you going to ask me why?" "!"" "I said, "What difference does it make?"" "It was just like a marriage and I'd run out of juice and a lot of our friends were dying that year." "She's lying on a motel bed and she says," ""It's not going to happen to me"." "She said, "My people are pioneer stock and they came across the country and they came to Texas." "They're tough." "I've got those genes and nothing's going to happen to me", which made me... "Shit, I wish you wouldn't have said that!"." "You know." "# Trust in me, baby" "# Give me time, give me time, # give me time" "# Oh, my love is like a seed, baby" "# Just needs time to grow" "# It's growing stronger day by day, yeah" "# Make anybody want to sacrifice" "# My love is like a seed, baby" "# Trust in me, baby" "# Trust in me, baby" "# Trust in my love" "# In my heart" "# Keep the faith, baby" "# Keep the faith in me, dear. #" "We had heard about Woodstock from pretty well in advance, and we thought, "Oh, great, it's the next Monterey"." "It's a very warm summer day and all this variety of choppers are taking off and landing." "I do remember that Peggy was on the airlift zone where we took off from." "I was always apprehensive when Peggy was around because I felt she would be an enabler rather than a helper with the drug problem." "She called and said, "You have to come"." "I said, "I can't"." "Because we were hearing reports that the turnpike was bogged down and people were out of gas and having babies and, you know, it was like locusts coming through, you know." "I said the only way I'd come out there was if I was airlifted in and she said, "OK"." "We were both around the same age in the South." "With middle class families." "But I think Janis had a harder time of coming through." "But on the other hand people tend to think, because of that, that she was depressed." "She wasn't." "It was all fun." "We shot heroin for fun." "And it took the edge off." "We were in the midst of one of the most social phenomenons in history." "What I understand is she got very high shooting up in the Porta-San and couldn't go on." "Finally, Peggy and John Cooke had to push her on stage." "How are y'all?" "I mean, How are you out there?" "Are you OK?" "You're not..." "You're staying stoned and you've got enough water and you've got a place to sleep and everything?" "Because, you know, because we oughta, all of us," "I don't mean to be preachy but we oughta remember, and that means promoters too, that music's for grooving, man." "Music's not for putting yourself through bad changes." "You don't have to go take anybody's shit, man, just to like music." "You know what I mean?" "You don't." "So if you're getting more shit than you deserve, you know what to do about it, man." "# Work me, Lord" "# Work me, Lord" "# Please don't you leave me" "# I feel so useless down here" "# With no-one to love" "# Though I've looked everywhere" "# And I can't find me anybody to love" "# To feel my care" "# Work me, Lord" "# Oh, use me, Lord... #" "Do you ever have a whole night when you just stand up there and you feel you're not making it?" "Well, yeah, but you're kind of trying..." "You have little games that you play with yourself to turn yourself on." "You can usually get yourself going." "You've never had a desire to just leave the stage and say, "I'm sorry." "It isn't working tonight, folks"." "It's the best thing that ever happened to me." "I wouldn't leave." "Yeah." "Yeah." "If you couldn't do it any more you'd be miserable, huh?" "Yeah." "I hope that by that time I'll have something else that's groovy." "# Please" "# Oh, daddy no, no, no, no, no... #" "# Plea..." "# Ah no, no, no Don't you go and leave me" "# Honey, when I reach out I wanna" "# I said I wanna hold on to you" "# Well you're never there" "# It doesn't turn me off again" "# I still reach out to hold on to my man" "# I said daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy daddy, daddy, daddy" "# Don't you go" "# No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no" "# Honey, don't you go and leave me" "# Say, my Lord. #" "This is the dark time in my time with Janis." "Albert and Janis reached a point where they said," ""We're going to let the Kozmic Blues Band dissipate"." "Janis took that failure on herself." "She felt that she was failing and this was, as a result, by far their worst abuse of heroin and alcohol." "This whole thing that's happened to me, you see, this whole success thing..." "It hasn't yet really compromised the position" "I took a long time ago in Texas that was to be true to myself, to be the person that was inside of me and not play games." "That's what I'm trying to do mostly in the whole world, is to not bullshit myself." "What do you think when you're singing?" "Do you actually think what's going on in the song or can your mind be somewhere else?" "I'm not really thinking much." "You're just sort of trying to feel." "The last I heard of you, you were in the jungles of Brazil." "I went to Rio for Carnival and then I decided to hitchhike around the northern part of Brazil." " As a kind of vacation?" " Just like a regular old beatnik on the road." "I knew I was going to try to make it to Rio for Carnival cos" "I was meeting a friend of mine so I got to Rio a couple of days early and I thought," ""God." "There's Ipanema beach, you know." "God, the girl from Ipanema", you know." "So I went over to Ipanema beach and the very first person I ran into on the beach was Janis." "I didn't know it was Janis, I just saw this girl with a bikini on." "# Don't you understand me, baby" "# Why I need a man to love... #" "She looked up." "I remember lifting her sunglasses up and saying," ""Hiya, cute thing"." "And I went, "Wow." "Hiya, cute thing"." "I'd been in the jungle a long time!" "# This loneliness" "# Baby, surrounding me" " # No, no, no, it just can't be - # No, it just can't be" "# There's got to be some kind of answer" "# No, it just can't be... #" "When we went back to the hotel the first night she wasn't sleeping well, she was rolling around, she was unhappy, she was having cold sweats and she told me that she was trying to kick the habit" "so I held her for two-and-a-half days while she came down." "She was really a different person." "She was much more calm, she was much more beautiful." "And she wasn't used to being straight so she knew she was more beautiful and then after that it was clear, she couldn't have gotten higher than when we travelled around Brazil." "She was so free and so different than any other girl I'd ever met." "I'd never had a woman inspire me before." "So it stopped me in my tracks, so to speak." "I was heading for North Africa and when I met her I realised," ""Shit, I'm not going anywhere"." "When we came back to California we spent time together, just the two of us." "We did come to the park here and we did go to the Haight but basically we just pretty much hung together." "We were inseparable, really, for those months." "As my relationship with Janis grew," "I realised when she sang me these songs they were always the blues and that's what she felt, basically, were the blues." "She could feel everybody's pain." "That's one of the reasons she did heroin, was so she didn't have to be involved with everybody else's life." "Most people can be oblivious to what's going on around them." "Janis couldn't." "She couldn't block it out." "But she was addicted to it, you know." "And I got her to stop and then when I would go away she'd get weak, I guess, is one way to say it, and start it again." "I told her I can't do that part." "I can't put up with that cos it's killing you." "And it broke my heart to see it." "Really what it is, it broke my heart, more than anything." "When I said I was leaving she said," ""Why don't you stay and become my manager?"" "It was a tempting offer but the heroin I couldn't even begin to put up with." "# Baby" "# Cry, baby" "# Cry, baby" "# Oh, honey, welcome back home" "# I had a man" "# He said honey, honey, you know that I love you" "# See, baby, you know I gotta go find myself" "# You know I gotta go find my life" "# I gotta go find myself over in Africa" "# Or over in New York City" "# Or over in Olema" "# Some place those cats are always wandering off to" "# I never figured out exactly where it was" "# Always going somewhere, man" "# And I said, baby, don't you realise" "# You lookin' for your life over there, honey" "# You wanna know where your life is?" "# Your life's waiting like a goddamn fool right here" "# For you, man" "# And one mornin' you're going to wake up in Casablanca" "# One of those fancy places" "# Honey, you're gonna be freezing to death, man" "# You're gonna wake up just think Good Lord" "# Good, good, good Lord" "# I just went off and left that woman" "# In that great big huge double bed Great big fur rug on top of it" "# And those satin sheets man What am I doin' in Casablanca, man" "# I mean really, man" "# One of these days that cat's gonna wake up and say it to himself" "# And when he comes back home Just like the Capricorn I am" "# I'll be standin' there waiting man" "# I said, baby, I knew one day" "# Honey, I knew, knew, knew one day" "# Won't you finally come home to me" "# Honey, when you walk through my front door" "# I'll be able to tell by the look in your eyes" "# I said, good God" "# I mean finally Good God, yeah" "# Lord, he done finally realised" "# So you can put your head on my shoulder yeah" "# Cos I know you've got more tears to shed do you" "# So come on, come on, come on" "# Come on, come on, come on" "# And cry, cry, baby" "# Cry, baby" "# Cry" "# Cry" "# Cry, baby" "# Cry, baby" "# Cry, baby. #" "I want to ask you about that tune that you just sang." " It's... about men." " It's about men." "Do you ever see those mule carts?" "There's a dumb mule up there, right, and they have a long stick with a string and a carrot on the end of it." "And they hang this thing in front of the mule's nose" " and he runs after it all day long." " And who's the man in this parable?" " The mule or is he holding the carrot?" " The woman is the mule." "Chasing something that somebody's always teasing her with." " Chasing a man. " " Yeah." " Who always eludes her." "They just always hold up something more than they're prepared to give." "We had dinner one night and I remember suddenly saying, without having planned to:" ""How can you assure me that you're not taking, that you're not doing heroin?"" "And her answer was interesting." "It was, "Who would care?"" "It really stopped me." "Do you ever get back to Port Arthur, Texas?" "No, but I'm going back next in August, man." " And guess what I'm doing?" " I don't know." "I'm going to my tenth annual high school reunion." "Take movies and bring them back to us." "Hey, would you like to go, man?" "I don't have that many friends in your high school class." "I don't either." "I don't either, believe me." "They won't move the reunion now that you're going?" "That's true." "I wasn't going to tell them." "What do you remember most about Port Arthur?" "I don't really remember..." "No comment." "It was really only the acceptance of millions that could make up for that way that she's grown up." "If everyone loved her, then it was OK but if anyone didn't, they could destroy her in a minute." "How were you different from your schoolmates when you were in TJ?" "I don't know." "Why don't you ask them?" "It was they who made you different?" "In other words, you were different in comparison with them or were you..." "I felt apart from them." "Let's put it that way." " Did you go to football games?" " I don't remember." "I don't remember." "I think not." "I didn't go to the high school prom." "And..." " You were asked, weren't you?" " No." "I wasn't." "They didn't think..." "I don't think they wanted to take me." "And I've been suffering ever since!" "I remember, when I was young, some doctor told my mother that if I didn't, quote, straighten up, quote, I was going to end up either in jail or in an insane asylum by the time I was 21, right." "So when I turned 25 and my second record came out, I think my mother sent me a congratulatory telegram or something." "That I had escaped the pen." "How do you get along with your parents?" "Pretty good." " They had somewhere to go?" " Right." "They went to a wedding at the high school." "We get along pretty good." "Do they ever seem surprised by your success?" "I think yeah, yeah." "Our parents saw it as, you know, challenging to their way of life, to their positions in the community and it created difficulties between them and both of them silently, with each other, feeling that they had somehow caused a calamity." "I didn't see her for 6 months." "She had promised me that she was going to quit heroin." "And she did." "And it changed her." ""Dear family." "Things are going so well for me." "I have a new, smaller band and it's really going fantastic." "Met a really fine man in Rio but I had to get back to work so he's off finding the rest of the world." "But he really did love me and was so good to me." "He wants to come back and marry me." "I thought I'd die without someone besides fans asking me." "But he meant it and who knows?" "I may get tired of the music biz." "But I'm really getting it on now."" "She called me up and said, "I've got a great new band." "You want to come back on the road?" With Janis it was magic." "She had a gift from God when she played." "There was a connection there." "I don't know what it was between us." "Somehow we didn't really do a lot..." "We never did a lot of talking." "She was a bubbly person." "She wanted everything to be so perfect for everyone." "Not just her." "Everyone." "# You say that it's over, baby" "# You say that it's over now" "# But still you hang around... #" "She said, "Man, with Full Tilt I can change something in the middle of the song and they're right there"." "She was a fantastic front person." "She would say, "When I do the windmill, keep her going"." "Or we'd be playing a song and she'd decide she'd like to talk to the audience." "She would bring the band down and then she would start talking." "I can't hear you!" "She was working the crowd." "It wasn't just that she was clean." "She had learned just about every lesson to be learned from the really tough times of the year before." "She was more comfortable about her whole life." "Having David leave her was actually really good for her." "She spoke of him afterwards as her lost love." "She still hoped that he would come back after she got clean." "# I ain't got no time for walking" "# And what's that gonna do with your love" "# Love all just dangling" "# Make up your mind, honey" "# You're playing with me... #" ""David, honey." "Daddy, listen." "I kicked, man, 4 months ago." "I'm on the road rockin' with a new group so I got Janis back." "She's delightfully crazy but I love her, man." "I've got that picture of us in Salvador and every time I look at it, I look like a woman." "Not a pop star." "But I'm afraid it's too late." "I know how to be a pop star but I don't know how to bake bread." "But honey, when I look at you this whole flood comes over me." "I love ya and I did write, motherfucker." "Don't you yell at me."" "It seems to bother a lot of women's lib people that you're kind of so upfront sexually." "I haven't been attacked by anyone yet." "How can they attack me?" "I'm representing everything they said they want, you know." "It's sort of like you are what you settle for, do you know what I mean?" "And if, you know, if they settle for being somebody's dishwasher that's their own fucking problem." "If you don't settle for that and you keep fighting, you know, you'll end up anything you'll want to be." "I'm just doing what I want to and what feels right and not settling for bullshit and it works." "How can they be mad at that?" "One girl I know said," ""How come she doesn't have any women in any of her groups?"" "You show me a good drummer and I'll hire one." "You know." "Show me a good chick." " Besides, I don't want a chick on the road with me. " " You don't?" "I've got enough competition, man." "No, I like to be around men!" " Fuck it!" " God bless ya, folks!" " God bless ya!" " Peace, love, truth, beauty!" "It was fun getting back with her on the Festival Express." "Because we were all stuck in a little area." "Her yes men couldn't contain her there." "They couldn't control her there because she wanted to get out and be with her kindred spirits, the musicians." " Are we in Calgary yet?" " We're stopped." " We're in Alberta." " Alberta?" "Alberta, let yo' hair hang do..." "No!" "I've loved you ever since the day I saw you." "Drew didn't love Janis because she was a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model." "He loved her for what she did." "And the sparks that she threw off." "He had a right proper appreciation for what Janis was and what she had to offer." "# From the Kentucky coalmines to the California sun" "# Bobby shared the secrets of my soul..." "Her producer gave me a demo of her singing Bobby McGee." "# Bobby, baby, kept me from the cold... #" "It was so exhilarating for me to hear her make that her song." "If you're a songwriter and somebody does that with what you've got, it's the greatest feeling in the world." "# Well, I'd trade all of my tomorrows" "# For one single yesterday" "# To be holding Bobby's body next to mine... #" "# Freedom's just another word For nothing left to lose" "# Nothin', that's all that Bobby left me... #" " I hear you're making a new record." " Yeah." "It's really going good." "I like my producer." "He's really worked out really well with me." " Who's producing it?" " Paul Rothchild." " You haven't worked with him before?" " No." "No, I haven't." "The first time I spoke to Janis about Paul, she said," ""Boy, that guy!"." "And I said, "What?"." "And she started talking about him and this is serious Janis and I had never heard her say this kind of stuff about anybody." "She was talking about how much she was learning from him." "The mood was very up." "I mean, as good as sessions get." "Everybody in love with everybody else and working very hard." "And Janis, she was always ready to do the most." "She was a much better singer than the world or even she knew." "What he was asking her to do was to understand the different voices she had at her command and the ramifications of this for Janis were really profound." "Because she had always said, and she absolutely meant it, "Oh, man." "When I blow out my voice I'm gonna buy a bar, retire in Rains County"." "What she was learning from Paul was enabling her to see farther into the future." "And that's where Paul was looking all along." "He said, 30 years from now I want you to be making your best album and I want you to be making it with me." "She called me on the phone and she said," ""I've got to play on the phone for you a song of Kris Kristofferson's that I've just recorded"." "To hear that voice, to hear her pride, to hear her excitement..." "I didn't hear it till she was gone and it was very emotional for me." "I can see her saying, "Wait till that son-of-a-bitch hears this!"." "You know?" "Everything about it was positive for Janis." "Except that she always hated the down hours." "The Janis who says, "How come the guys in the band go home, you know, with these girls and I go home alone?"." "She was saying, "You can't imagine how hard it is to be me"." "She just didn't know who to relax with." "She just didn't know any more." "A lot of pressure. "You've got to do this, Janis." "You've got to do that"." "That's what made it hard for her, I think." "She loved everybody." "That was the problem." "She was like a little girl lost and then she would be as strong as a mountain lion." "As far as anyone could see, she had kicked heroin." "She had replaced it with alcohol but it didn't look like that was going to kill her." "I think she thought, one last little hurrah." "I can understand her wanting to no-one's ever going to know." "I'll hang in my room, do a hit and then go to bed." "Paul Rothchild called me and he said, "Janis isn't here." "Can you see if you can find her?"." "And I pulled out of the driveway and I look up there and I know which room is hers and there's a light on in the window." "And when I opened the door I had this really simple and direct feeling:" "nobody's here." "I came round the corner and saw Janis lying by the bed." "But that feeling of nobody is here, it was right." "# Sit there" "# Count your fingers" "# What else" "# What else is there to do... #" "I was standing at a stove, boiling an egg or something." "The radio said, "Janis Joplin..."" "And I knew before they got to the last consonant in her name out that she was dead." "# Count, oh, count your little fingers" "# My unhappy... #" "I wrote a telegram to Janis that says:" ""Really miss you." "Things aren't the same alone." "Could meet you in Kathmandu any time but late October is the best season." "Love you, Momma." "More than you know."" "I just fell apart." "I just completely fell apart." "She was in touch with her emotions and who she was in some a way that nobody else that I knew was that in touch with." "And to be that way, to try to get that, that's..." "That's the price you pay for doing that kind of art on that level, you know." ""Dear family." "I'm awfully sorry to be such a disappointment to you but I really do think there's an awfully good chance" "I won't blow it this time." "There's really nothing more I can say right now." "Guess I'll write more when I have more news." "Until then, address all criticism to the above address and, please, believe you can't possibly want for me to be a winner" ""more than I do." "Love, Janis."" "# Sit there" "# Go on, go on and count your fingers" "# Oh, no, what else, what else What else have you got to do" "# I know how you feel" "# And I know you ain't got no reason to go on" "# I know you feel that you must be through" "# Go on and sit right back down" "# Oh, won't you count Count your fingers" "# My unhappy" "# My unlucky" "# But my little Little girl blue" "# I know you're unhappy" "# Honey I know" "# Babe, I know just how you feel. #"