"Just like a hunted animal can find shelter," "I beg you to spare my wretched soul for all eternity." "Amen." "(♪ Choir singing in foreign language ♪)" "♪ Is he good?" "Is he bad?" "♪" "♪ Psychopath or sexy cad?" "♪" "♪ Sinner or saint?" "♪" "♪ The sinner fell ♪" "♪ But the saint wound up in hell ♪" "♪ We took his face ♪" "♪ Gave him another ♪" "♪ He changed his place ♪" "♪ Bullet in the face ♪" "♪ (Siren wailing in distance)" "Excellent." "Ah..." "Face transplants are still an experimental procedure, but this one is going remarkably well." "So you're saying the transplant is a success?" "Not quite yet." "A few adjustments will be necessary." "Maxillofacial surgery to reduce the jaw line and a few tooth extractions." "You are not taking out my teeth, you raspberry flavoured asshole." "I killed the last dentist I went to and stole his car." "His office still sent me a bill." "Calm down, Gunter." "You're only making it worse." "Worse?" "How could it get any worse?" "What's next?" "Amputate my penis and replace it with an egg beater?" "I could screw women while scrambling their eggs." "And it's all the fault of this bitch, stealing my face and substituting it with another!" "You can think "bitch" as much as you like, but for protocol's sake, why don't you start calling me "Commissioner"?" "Ah!" "Yes!" "Commissioner!" "The C-word." "And you, you are a criminal, a criminal that I have recruited into law enforcement." "There's mob war going on, Gunter." "Good against evil doesn't always work, so I'm using you to fight evil with evil." "But if you fight evil with evil, evil wins either way." "(Sighing)" "Just sayin'." "(Scoffing)" "(Cars honking)" "This was the home of the man you murdered." "Now you'll be living here, taking his place." "A cop lived here?" "Feels more like a pastry chef." "The man you killed had impeccable taste." "Only in killers." "Hmm... (Sniffing)" "Scented candles." "Are you kidding me?" "I would rather smell a runway model's farts." "Oh!" "Barry Manilow!" "Celine Dion!" "The soundtrack to Xanadu?" "What did he use music for?" "To torture the birds outside?" "I like that music." "It's... pleasant." "What the hell is this?" "Photo from when we" "From when the man you look like now and I vacationed together." "Where are your women?" "Where are your women?" "(Sobbing)" "(Growling)" "(Gasps)" "Hey!" "Hey!" "What is wrong with you?" "Get down!" "(Both grunting)" "This is not a gun I am feeling in your trousers, is it?" "But this is." "What's happened here?" "That looks like a bullet hole." "It is." "A mobster by the name of Racken put a price on our heads." "Although I believe I'm the primary target." "I took out a few of Racken's men." "Where did you take them?" "To dinner?" "Who is this shrew challenging your testicles?" "Who am I?" "I heard you suffered memory loss after being shot in the face." "Sorry, you get no sympathy from me." "You owe back rent." "I plan on giving it all to you soon." "(Cell beeping)" "Homicide very near here." "We gotta go." "(Bell tolling)" "What's the matter, Gunter?" "You look uncomfortable." "This is the first crime scene where I am not responsible for the crime." "I know not what to do." "Not much of a crime." "Suicide." "Victim didn't even leave a note." "Religious people have many reasons to kill themselves." "They're under too much pressure to be good all the time." "It is much easier to be rotten." "I can do no wrong as long as I do wrong." "(Whistles)" "It would do you good to spend some time in church." "Oh!" "Why?" "So I can sing terrible songs and drink cheap wine?" "A church is the world's worst karaoke bar!" "Gunter, don't you ever get tired of being so relentlessly evil all the time?" "Of course." "That's why I take naps." "Not much to investigate here." "Case closed." "There's something here." "From the same date the priest splattered the walls with his brains," "Isaiah 3:11." "That's from the Bible." "Yes, I've heard of that book." ""Woe unto the wicked."" "Ha!" "I've written better suicide notes for people I've murdered." "My favourite was: "I cannot live with my dark secret any longer."" ""I used soiled underwear to make soup and served it on Hanukah."" "(Gunter giggling, door opening)" "This is the housekeeper for the rectory." "She found the priest's body, but is a deaf-mute." "Thank you." "I'm sorry for your loss." "Do you have any idea why the Father may have taken his own life?" "Ah!" "What did she say?" "I have no idea." "I was just being polite." "Ah." "Here, let me." "(Slaps chest)" "(Chuckles)" "(Chuckling, jaw cracking)" "Aaah!" "(Groaning)" "How appropriate that face should cause you pain after the pain you caused taking that man's life." "You were a superb criminal, Gunter, but your own brethren betrayed you." "Now your only hope to catch them is to become a very good cop." "To be sincere, you still need sin." "You cannot speak to us." "So I ask you." "Show us what you saw." "You saw this?" "The angel of death." "(Chuckling, cracking)" "(Groans)" "(Telephone ringing)" "I want you to continue to investigate the priest's suicide." "But, madame, it is just that, a suicide." "I need a motive." "Perhaps it was to escape the sound of your voice." "That wasn't very nice." "Oh, shut up, Hagerman." "A hobbit could kick your ass." "I'm very tired of your bad attitude, Vogler." "Then perhaps you should've given this face to someone more pleasant, like a florist." "He'd smile and bring you flowers." "Or maybe a dairy farmer." "He'd milk those teats by hand, gently, as those nipples are delicate." "Cougar milk is very..." "Ooh!" "Bitter." "(Cell buzzing)" "Excuse me." "(Cell beeps)" "Martine." "Gunter." "This is not possible!" "You were shot in the face by someone who was very close to you." "Me!" "(Tannhauser):" "Martine!" "Martine?" "Martine, I have been giving thought to the idea of naming my child." "It's a great responsibility, you know, choosing the right name." "Hmm." "If I call him Zeus..." "But that would cause problems of high expectations." "Maybe I call him Awful." "That would cause problems of low expectation." "Maybe I call him Fire!" "That would cause panic whenever someone calls his name." "I would like this." "But you know, I am really looking forward to disciplining our child." "'Cause without discipline, how can he ever learn?" "Discipline?" "In the meantime, your child has been getting the best prenatal care." "Yeah, yeah." "I called the obstetrician." "He's never heard of you." "So you check up on my check-ups now?" "Of course I do!" "You don't even trust the mother of your child?" "Of course I don't." "Do you know how many species there are where the female kills the male after copulating?" "Scorpions!" "Black widow spiders!" "Praying mantis!" "That's it, 3." "Not that many." "But then there's the female of the human species, and the female of the human species, after copulating, sucks a man's ego out and then spends all his money on cushions." "(Gulps)" "I have always been loyal to you." "I wish I could believe you." "Gonna put a microchip in your vagina, to see when you're coming and going." "(Groans)" "That's a joke." "(Chuckling)" "Maybe I'd do it." "(Telephone ringing)" "(Jaw cracking)" "You really should have oral surgery to correct that problem." "No!" "No more butchery." "This goddamn face is not a keeper." "I feel like a freak!" "You don't look like one to me, Gunter." "Hagerman tried running a background check on the priest." "Zilch." "Nothing came up." "Probably easier to do a profile on you." "(Chuckling)" "Did you come from a broken home?" "Abusive parents?" "Am I close?" "No." "My parents stayed together until the day they died." "The electric chair." "They even held hands." "(Electricity crackling and buzzing)" "(Bell tolling)" "Just like a hunted animal can find shelter," "I beg of you to spare my wretched soul." "(♪ Choir singing in foreign language ♪)" "(Whimpering)" "(Gasps)" "(Panting)" "I'm so happy we made a deal for orgasms in exchange for rent." "You're paid 6 months in advance now." "What's the matter, baby?" "Don't ever call me baby." "I was never called baby even when I was a baby." "What did your parents call you?" "A German term." "Kleine SheiSer." "Means "Little Shit"." "(Cell vibrating)" "(Chuckles)" "Hagerman." "It must be the crack of dawn and I'm here with a woman." "Of course we're in bed together." "Because sometimes these things happen." "What?" "This is very disturbing." "Two priests in a row committing suicide." "Yes, but if they both believed they were going to heaven, this must be their early retirement." "Listen to me." "The commissioner was adamant about us solving the first case and now this." "What's the connection?" "Oh yeah... (Grunting)" "Gunter!" "You are in the house of God." "I know, but he's not home." "Is nothing sacred to you?" "One day you will have to atone for everything you've done on this earth." "But religions claim that no matter what... (Imitates gunshot) ...all will be forgiven." "I am just waiting until the last minute to apply for absolution." "When I go to heaven," "I will enjoy fine cigars and crème brulée with Stalin, Hitler, Dick Cheney, because they'll all be forgiven too." "(Chuckling)" "I don't believe this." "From yesterday, on the same date this priest killed himself, another passage from the Bible." "Isaiah 4, 3:30." "Hmm?" "Look it up." "(♪ Choir singing in foreign language ♪)" "Uh, I do not know how to use the Bible." "There's no corresponding quote." "(Thunder crashing)" "It is strange to see a priest with a tattoo, especially a tattoo of a nude pole dancer, hmm?" "The same tattoo belonged to a member of Tannhauser's gang, a fellow named Baskin who vanished after robbing an ice-cream parlour." "It was a cold case." "He was presumed dead." "He was no saint and no priest." "But this corpse has different face." "But as my own mirror proves, looks can be deceiving." "If you know more than you're telling us, tell us so we'll know more than we now know." "Over the years, a number of Tannhauser's men have turned informant for money, and new identities, and the safest new identity is man of the cloth." "Who would ever suspect that a priest was a hardened criminal, hmm?" "True, only pedophiles." "So plastic surgery was performed, new faces were given." "Different surgeons each time." "None of the doctors knew who they were working on." "And in the end, the only person who knew their true identities is me." "Ah!" "You have turned criminals into priests, crooks into cops and the only person who knows their true identity is you." "But I know the truth too, Eva." "For all the power you wield, you cannot force a man to love you." "It's been a long time since you've been with a man, hasn't it?" "You are suffering a long "manopause"." "Ooh!" "Look at you, whipping it out." "Don't worry, Eva, you're still beautiful." "But your clock is ticking." "Your expiration date is fast approaching." "Before you know it, you will be a little old lady in a room filled with cats." "And when you die, your cats will be well fed." "They'll eat your eyes, your ears, your intestines." "Meow." "(Knocking)" "I bring refreshments." " Get out!" " Happily." "For a moment there, I thought you were going to bank me." "(Laughing, jaw cracking)" "Oh, still refusing surgery?" "You're a true masochist, Gunter." "No!" "I found a doctor to see." "If there are no reports of his murder in the next 24 hours, he was successful." "Good work, Hagerman." "(♪ Gunter whistling ♪)" "(Telephone ringing)" "Get the hell out!" "(Cars honking)" "Open." "I see so many irregularities." "Have you had any reconstructive surgery?" "I was in a bad accident." "I prefer good accidents." "(Assistant clearing throat)" "I'll be back." "The name this patient gave doesn't match the dental record in the global database." "He is not who he says he is." "I'll use whatever means to make a positive I.D." "You know, I've been meaning to ask you..." "How did you hear about me?" "Actually, the first time I saw your name, it was mistaken for Bible passages." "Isaiah 3:11, Isaiah 3:30." "But eventually I figured out they were appointments, just like the appointment I made with you today." "Isaiah 5:30." "You are a busy man," "Dr. Max Isaiah." "(Click)" "All right, prick, fill in the blanks, since this does not shoot any." "Well, I've always offered free medical care to the spiritual community." "Hmm, but I sensed a certain strangeness with the new priests that I was treating." "Sodium Pentothal isn't just an anaesthetic." "It's also a truth serum." "Under its influence, one of the priests confessed his true identity." "And soon, I discovered other imposters." "And since Tannhauser keeps a running bounty on anyone who betrays him..." "Yes, he showed his appreciation by showering me with gold." "Well, it was enough to provide a lifetime of fillings, as well as relocating me to this prime location." "Tannhauser owns the building." "Hmm." "What are a few lives lost when it allows you validated parking?" "(Laughing)" "So you killed those men, making it look like suicides." "No, Tannhauser's personal angel of death performed those procedures." "We assumed suicides wouldn't stay active investigations." "But I am amazed that you figured this out." "And I would like to know who is threatening me." "Gunter Vogler." "I could arrest you, but I would much rather satisfy my desire for revenge against Tannhauser." "Summon his angel of death here." "It's already done." "Oh!" "Then I commend you on anticipating my next move!" "And I you for not expecting mine!" "Aaah!" "(Groaning, screaming)" "(Gunshots)" "(Battle cry)" "(Glass breaking)" "(Gunter groaning)" "(Grunting)" "(Gas hissing)" "(♪ Woman singing in German ♪)" "(Screaming)" "(Girl gasps, Gunter laughing)" "(Laughing)" "Oh!" "(Drill whirring)" "(Laughing wickedly)" "(Screaming in distance)" "(♪ Muzak ♪)" "See?" "This is what happens when you don't brush your teeth." "(Wheezing)" "Whoa!" "(Women screaming)" "(Gasping, laughing)" "(Many voices laughing)" "(♪ Muzak ♪)" "(Thunder)" "(Sighing)" "Martine." "Gunter." "Don't." "I don't want you to see me like this." "We're in the same room, but we're a million miles away." "What has happened to us?" "Our world is a jigsaw puzzle where none of the pieces fit." "We're actors in the right play but the wrong parts." "And there's no telling how any of this will end." "I know how tonight will, darling." "(Thunder)" "(Exhaling)"