"Previously on "Pushing Daisies"..." "Young Ned had a special gift." "He could touch dead things and bring them back to life." "But he could only bring the dead back to life for one minute." "Any longer, and someone else had to die." "And there was one more thing he had to learn -- first touch, life." "Second touch, dead again forever." "But as young Ned grew into the pie maker, this gift proved to be most useful in the untimely death of his childhood sweetheart, Charlotte Charles." "Are you in love with her?" " You only got a minute." " I know." " 60 seconds." " I know." "What if you didn't have to be dead?" "You can't touch me." "So a kiss is out of the question?" "You touch murder victims, you ask who killed them, you touch them again, they go back to being dead," " and then you collect the reward?" " That's it in a nutshell." " Might I make an observation?" " Compliment or criticism?" "A neutral thought, I would say." "It's neither complimentary nor critical." "Neutral thought gives me pause." " You seem decidedly unhappy." " What are you beating at?" "An offer to repair your espresso machine." "The motto of the Longborough School for boys was" ""institutum superior omnibus," or "tradition over all."" "But on this morning, whether it was the topic of flight or the brandy the teachers parlor," "Mr. Gault threw tradition to the wind and let the students chose their own lab partners." "young Ned, however found his chosen for him." "Eugene Mulchandani was an exchange student from Gorakhpur, India." "Young Ned felt a gnawing pity growing in his stomach, as was tradition." "But beneath Eugene's headgear thrived an active imagination and a useful gift for aeronautical model building, as well as the hope that someone might not dislike him for the simple fact that he was different." "Young Ned found himself breaking with his own tradition and, in a moment of passion... he fought back." "For the first time since his father dropped him off, young Ned made a friend." "In the surge of emotion, he forgot his mother had died, his father had left him, and that he missed the girl named Chuck." "He also forgot he was jumping into a pile of dead leaves that were once alive." "Eugene Mulchandani fled in a flurry of saliva and fear." "Eugene would eventually forget young Ned's mistake and chalk it up to magic leaves." "But young Ned would never forget that happiness born of passion is always short-lived." "Yet, for no fought of his own, he had once again stumbled into happiness..." " Good morning." " Which terrified him." "Morning." " Guess what day it is today." " World hello day." "You finally put up my calendar of obscure holidays." "Yes." "And hola!" "That's española." "Merhaba, selamat pagi, o si yo." "That's turkish, indonesian, and cherokee." "Although the indonesian really says "good day,"" "which I think is much better than "hello,"" "'cause what does that say?" "That says, "I'm here." "Your turn to talk." Kind of selfish." " What?" " Nothing." "The pie maker wished to express to Chuck exactly how intense his fer her." "Am I your boyfriend?" "And I realize "boyfriend" and "girlfriend"" "are familiar, trite labels." "If convention were something you soaked in," ""boyfriend" would be dripping with it." "But we've never actually said it, and I think we need to define the relationship." "But, it may be helpful in a familiar, trite way " "The way on a holiday created to sell greeting cards it's still kind of nice to get a card." "And are you gonna cut me off with a "yes" anytime soon?" "Yes." "You never said what today is." "Thank you." "Today is my daddy's birthday." "You know he would have been 60 today if he were still alive?" "The mention of Chuck's father sent the pie maker's thoughts spinning." " What's wrong?" " Nothing." "The meaning of "nothing" was" ""I never told you that I inadvertently killed your father."" "Olive Snook had told the pie maker she was happy for his happiness with the girl named Chuck, but upon hearing the word "boyfriend,"" "she unexpectedly found her sadness spinning into anger." "It was a truth she could not yet stare in the face." "Olive." " Where are all the customers?" " You got me." "I am a customer." "Her dizzy heart missed another truth staring her in the face." "Fredo." "Alfredo, when did you come in?" "Before, when you opened the door for me and I asked how you were, then you said you were fine." "Then I asked for a macchiato, and you said, "coming right up."" "So, I guess you'll still want that." "Yes, please." " This case is easy money." " You told me that already." "It's my fault Chuck's father's dead." " You told me that already." " I should just tell her." "Well, that idea might make a stupid idea feel better about itself." " I can't keep lying to her." " You ain't lying." "The only way you're lying is if she asks the question," ""Hey, did you kill my father when you brought your mother back, which I didn't know about, because you never told me?"" "Don't tell her." "Have you guys heard?" "The most amazing new candy store is opening up across the street." "It's amazing." "Who are you?" "I'm just some guy who's telling everybody about it 'cause it's so amazing." "Seriously, everybody, you got to check this out." "Do you work for the candy store?" "No." "I'm just some guy." ""Some guy"?" "Yeah." "Some guy who sure loves candy." "Be sure to tell everne you know." "See ya." "Oh, no." "See?" "This is how it all ends." "Some weird guy comes in saying stuff that don't make no sense." "And by the time your head realizes," ""Hey, this weird guy don't make no sense,"" "your guts are all over the window." "Here." "So, did Ned tell you he's my boyfriend?" "You two are gonna love this case." "The facts were these -- one Tony Dinapoli " "26 years, 9 weeks, 2 hours, and 10 minutes old -- was found strangled to death in his friend's apartment." "His girlfriend, Tina Arongino, was arrested at the scene for the murder the police described as a typical crime of passion." "I freakin' loved Tony." "You got to help me, Emerson Cod." "I didn't do it." "With the evidence stacked against her," "Tina Arongino hired Emerson Cod." "How you doin'?" "Do you know how you're doing?" "I'm dead, right?" "Your girlfriend murder you?" "Hell, no." "Me and Tina were mad for each other." "She friggin' loved me." "It was burly Bruce Carter who strangled me." "This burly Bruce, did he have congenitally dainty hands?" "'Cause those strangle marks were made by a petite female with rounded, crimson, french-tipped nails." "He used his girlfriend hands to kill me." "I don't know what to do with that." "His girlfriend's a doll -- not like you're a doll." "She's a doll doll, like life-sized and plastic." " You mean she's not real?" " Don't tell Bruce that." "That was my mistake." "Bruce invited me and Tina over for a double date." "I got to Bruce's place before Tina did." "When he showed me the doll and said it was his girlfriend, I let him have it." "Then he kind of flipped out." "So you're saying the murder weapon was a life-size-human doll?" "That's what I'm sayin'." " Got a phone number, sweetie?" " Do you mind?" " What about friggin' Tina?" " I'm dead, ain't I?" "No." " Now you're dead." " Oh, my gosh." "Well, that was a crime of passion." "What?" "It was a minute." "I'm having a hard day." "Olive found herself in a cloud of steamed milk and self-pity, unaware of the warm breath blowing out of the mouth of Alfredo Aldarisio." "...is compromised, because a traveling salesman isn't such a thing if he does not travel." "As any nontraditional-remedy salesman knows, resistance to the novel and the unconventional is marbled through this country like gristle." "If I'm not cutting that gristle, I'm not doing my job." "Were you talking?" "I have to go back on the road soon." "It may be a long time before I return." " Can I ask you a question?" " Of course." " If you loved me..." " Yes." "...And we could never, ever, ever touch, wouldn't you eventually get over it and move on, letting someone else have the slightest hope that you might move on to them?" " If I loved you?" " Yeah." "Then I would love you in any way I could." "And if we could not touch, then" "I would draw strength from your beauty." "And if I went blind, then I would fill my soul with the sound of your voice and the contents of your thoughts until the last spark of my love for you lit the shabby darkness of my dying mind." "Forget it." "Mr. Carter?" "Mr. Bruce Carter?" "What if he does actually believe that his doll is a real person?" "Maybe that is his truth." "It's just different from our truth." "The truth ain't like puppies -- a bunch of them running around, you pick your favorite." "One truth, and it has come a-knockin'." "But let's just say he's got his own truth, and he's grown attached to it." "Marry that with a short fuse and a violent temper, and what you get is " "What do you want?" "That crazy broad Tina tryin' to pin this on me?" "'Cause she came in screaming', said Tony had been foolin' around on her." "Then she leapt on him like a cat." "It was over before it started." "The evidence backs me up." "Yeah." "On that subject" "Mr. Carter, you are a big, tough guy, and I have no doubt you could make mincemeat out of all of us if what you needed was more mincemeat." "But the shoes by the door and the daffodils on the table and the smell of garlic pasta" " coming from the kitchen..." " Maybe I got a girlfriend." "That so hard to believe?" "And Sheila's got nothin' to do with this." "Yeah." "Uh, when you say "Sheila" " "Did Sheila witness the murder of Tony Dinapoli?" "I'm done talkin'." "You need to leave now." "But if she saw something or did something, we understand." "You're just trying to protect her 'cause you love her." "It wasn't Sheila's fault, okay?" "It was mine." "Take me." "I never should have put her in that situation." "It's okay." "Okay." "Sheila!" "Sheila, baby!" "You can come out." " The g's up." " It's okay." "She's probably too scared." "The information Emerson Cod gave the police led to further investigation of Tony Dinapoli's real murder due to unreal circumstances." "Tina Arongino was released." "Burly Bruce Carter was detained by local authorities, awaiting his trial." "Sheila!" "I love you!" "Sheila the doll was also detained." "Olive, having been detained by her own angry thoughts for long enough, had escaped to sample something sweeter." "Welcome." "Bitter much?" "I'm sorry?" "Sweets taste sweeter with a bite of the bitter." "Welcome to Balsam's Bittersweets Taffy  Sweets Emporium." " Bitter much?" " Yes." "Actually, bitter very much." "Aren't you "some guy"?" "You're a pie holer." "Billy Balsam, co-owner." "Hi." "I-I thought we should bring pie." "That's what new neighbors do." "So sweet." "You are so sweet." "A girl could get the diabetes just standing next to you." "Dilly, there's some other small-business owners" " from across the street." " Who's Dilly?" "Bitter much?" "Pie holers, I'd like you to meet my sister and the queen of candy, Dilly Balsam." "It's a pleasure to meet you." "Dilly Balsam." " Hi." " Hi." "I'm Ned." "He's the lord of the pies." "Oh, of course!" "That little pie place with the quaint crust roof." "I do hope Billy apologized for all this commotion today." "If by "apologized," you mean he pretended to be somebody he's not so he could lure us into your sugar shack..." "Actually, I think it's really nice to have a bit of excitement in the neighborhood." "I'm so glad you see it that way." "Do you like excitement, pie man?" "The pie maker did not like excitement, but he knew to be polite to a new neighbor." "I feel excitement is so much better than a lot of things." "Do you know what I find exciting?" "Com...pe...ti...tion." "I hope you're not afraid of a little competition." "I don't really see us as competitors." "Is what's in that box the amazing smell I'm smelling?" "Oh, is what you're smelling georgia peach cobbler?" " That's exactly it." " Then I'm the guilty georgia peach." "It's from the pie hole, across the street, as in "shut your," but one sweet whiff, and people usually want to "open their."" "That sounds delicious." "Let's go." "Bye." "I'm sorry." "This is for you." "Happy grand opening." "That was interesting." "I admire your s-s-s-s-s-s-strategy." "Strategy?" "Sorry." "My sister stutters when she's upset." "Why is she upset?" "Why are you upset?" "Pretty nervy bringing your p-p-pie up in all my business, stealing my c-c-c-customers." "Oh, I-I think this is a misunderstanding." "If you want a w-w-war, then that's what you'll get." "A war?" "No." "A war's what we don't want." "We just came by to say h-h-hello." "Are you making f-f-f-fun of me?" " She's eaking out-fray." " What?" "Freaking out." "You haven't seen anything." "Ame on-g-g-g-gay." "What?" " Game on." " Game on." " Game on?" " Game on!" "Now get out!" "Out." "That should shake them up." "I liked the stuttering." "It was off-putting and odd." "Amateurs." "We'll have them out of business in a week." "You still think it's a coincidence?" "I don't think someone purposely damaged our sign to read..."pie ho."" "Hello." "That crazy candy lady threatened us." "They're trying to steal all of our business." "We've only had one customer today." "We can't just sit here and do nothing." "Yes, we can." "Candy might be sweet, but it's a traveling carnival blowing through town." "Pie is home." "People always come home." "Come on, Digby." "Let's bake some pies." "Why won't he do anything about this?" "I don't know." "He's been acting strange since yesterday." "Does he seem distant to you?" "Would you like to discuss his fear of intimacy, his dark moods, that thing he does when he's lying?" "I can be a very good resource for you on Ned, if you don't mind me clawing out your eyeballs while we talk." "Really?" " Why do you want me to care?" " Because you really like him." "Wouldn't it just rock 'n' roll if liking someone meant they had to like you back?" "Of course, that'd be a different universe, and something else would probably suck." "Refill?" "This isn't really my shade of lipstick." "I am going to have to cite you for it." "Cite all you want, sweetie." "I'm standing right here in front of you." "I don't think you understand." "Andrew Brown, health inspector." "Excuse me, but don't you need to notify us first?" "Not if it's a surprise inspection." "Surprise!" "Effective hair restraint Not worn." "Live animal found in the facility's food area." "You need to open this." "Wait." "I can explain what's in there." "No, I can't." "But you should definitely wait anyway." "It's okay." "We never use this room." "Yes, we do." "I do -- sometimes." "Open the door." "Please." "Olive Snook was unaware that the pie maker could bring dead fruit back to life for his pies." "Why is this room filled with rotten fruit?" "That inspection was no accident." "We are being attacked by a vicious nutbag." "We need to retaliate with a swift and overwhelming show of force." "I don't retaliate." "I'm not a retaliar." "You let your emotions get away from and everything falls apart." "You really believe that, don't you?" "Yes." "I've seen it happen." "She's coming to get us." "That's exactly what I'm talking about." "Nobody's coming to get anybody." "But she is." "We need to talk." " You're not welcome here." " Of course she is." "All are welcome." "Uh, would you like a slice of triple berry?" "Oh, thank you." "You teach me something, pie baker." "Olive." "I wanted to apologize for my outburst yesterday." " It was inappropriate." " Thank you." "And I'm sorry for pretending to be a stutterer." "You were pretending?" "That's mean, and it's disrespectful." "I like to mislead my competition -- encourage underestimation with the idea that I have an impediment." "But I know that stuttering can be a very serious disorder, and I only chose to mimic it because I'm legally blind." "She's doing it again." " You need to leave." " Oh, come on." "We all know that the world of small business is nothing but a big, sexy game." "Call me old-fashioned, but I like to win." "There are plenty of customers for both of us, Dilly." "Why can't we both win?" "Because I like your crust roof, your square footage, and your corner location, even if your sign does go on the fritz now and then." "Oh, and I was so, so sorry to hear about your inspection." "You didn't come here to apologize at all, did you?" "No." "I came by to tell you that it's only gonna get worse." "You've shown yourself to be vulnerable and careless competitors, so you can count on more surprise inspections and disruptions to your business." " Why are you doing this to us?" " What I see, I want." "What I want, I take." "Nothing scares me." "I've looked death in the eye and survived to open a successful candy franchise." " Can you say that?" " Actually, yes." "Not the "candy franchise" part, but " "I won't let you bully me into a fight, Dilly." " That's not how I settle things." " Then you'll lose." "Thanks for the pie." "What is up with that... witch?" "What was up with that witch was this " "Dilania "Dilly" Balsam and brother Billy's lives were turned upside down when their parents died of bird flu." "Dilly felt adrift, until she resolved to confront her greatest fear." "She set out across Bodega bay, determined to look the killers of her parents in their beady-eyed, feathered faces." "Then, just as she was about to reach the other side, her worst nightmare." "Dilly Balsam survived the attack, to be rescued by a local merchant, who offered her a very sweet treat." "She realized that her love of taffy and fear of nothing would serve her well in business." "And Balsam's Bittersweets Taffy  Sweets Emporium was born." "What?" "You think I should do something." "We're just saying." "No." "You let your anger win and you engage the crazy person, then you're no different than they are." "People say, "Hey." "Look at that." "There's two crazy people fighting."" "I will not engage." "Yeah, but if you don't engage, pretty soon, people will start saying," ""Hey, look at that crazy person eating that guy just sitting there, doing nothing."" "We've got to give her a dose of her own medicine." "Chuck, don't go over to the dark side." "Revenge never works." "I got to go." "Me too." "Well, this can't end well." "Wait!" "Didn't think you'd do this." "Thought you were all goody-good, apple pie, and baseball." "Well, only insofar as I know how to use a baseball bat to make someone's face look like an apple pie." "I am sorry about Ned." "Well, not about Ned, but about upsetting you." "I thought you were okay about it." "So did I." "Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!" "Here's what we're not gonna do." "We're not gonna start with all this puppy-dog-face," ""get back on your horse and nd a man" crapola." "'Cause maybe you forgot, but Ned was the horse and you pushed me off." "So maybe, just maybe, I need to get a little angry before I can be all happy about it." "Okay." "I get it." "Thank you." "There's no alarm system." " Got a credit card?" " Why?" " You know how to pick a lock?" " No." "You're gonna need to pay for the damages." " Cool." " Come on!" "Here." "You ready?" " For Ned." " For Ned." "I hate rats." "So do health inspectors." " We're done here." " We're so done." "Don't mess with the pie hose." "He cleaned for hours, yet he could not wipe away the fear the battle with Balsam's Bittersweets Would only turn more bitter." "Chuck?" "I thought you were Dilly Balsam." "Why are you dressed like a cat burglar?" "Why are you dressed like a fish m***monr?" " I'm scrubbing the kitchen." " I was out with Olive." "You know what?" "She is really great." "Chuck?" "Sorry." "My whole body's pumping with adrenaline." "Are you upset with me?" "The truth he was hiding from Chuck was one spot he could not scrub out." "What's freaking me out is the ruthless woman trying to shut down the pie hole." "This was true." " It has nothing to do with us." " This was not." "Are you sure you wouldn't feel better if you just... fought back a little?" "Whis it so hard for you to see that the brave thing here is not to fight back?" "Well, in that case, Olive and I were cowards tonight." "We may have set loose some inappropriate vermin." "Where are you going?" "To clean up another mess." "Ned." "Ned?" "The expression "like a rat in a candy store,"" "though slightly less popular, is equally true." "As Ned came to try to undo what Chuck and Olive had done, he found not fighting the fight was becoming more work than fighting it." "Gross." "Not good." "Billy?" "Billy, were you dead?" "Oh!" "Wait." "Freeze!" "You killed my brother!" "Chuck, this place is crawling with police." "You could be recognized." "She shouldn't be here." "I've been saying that for weeks." "I had to come." "This is all my fault." " It's not your fault." " Yes, it is -- if I'd have listened to you when you told me not to retaliate, you wouldn't have to clean up all my mess." " I did a terrible thing." " Okay." " So it's a little your fault." " Well, maybe now you're even." " What do you mean "even"?" " Nothing." "What happened at the candy shop?" "I was collecting the rats, and I was about to leave, when I saw Billy dead in the taffy vat." "Did you..." "Yeah." "But he couldn't talk on account of his mouth was full of taffy." "I heard the police, and I..." "him again." "They caught me red-handed." "Well, me and Nancy Shrew will get you out." "I mean, it's a broad generalization, but my guess is, an attractive man who makes pies for a living shouldn't even spend a short amount of time in prison." "Without the pie maker and with little to go on," "Emerson Cod and Chuck set out to seek the truth." " You gonna... do something?" " I am doing something." " But we can't wake him up." " I know that." " Don't you think I know that?" " I'm just saying." "It's been a while since you solved a crime for real " "You know, the old-fashioned way." "I did fine the old-fashioned way, and I'd do fine now if I could just think without you blabber-jabbering." "This what you do when you're in here -- muttering with the bodies?" "Bicker and moan?" "We were just observing the body for any, uh... visible signs." " I like my way better." " What's that?" "Cutting the sucker open." "I got to do an autopsy." "Oh, good." "You two check under the hood." "I'm gonna do a full background check on Billy Balsam, see if anybody else wanted to put him in a permanent candy coma." "Olive..." "Olive?" "Olive, it's okay." " I brought you a pie." " Thank you." "It has a special filling." "Please take that away." "As Olive considered how the inch-thick glass prevented her from holding the man she still loved, she realized that for the pie maker, there might always be an invisible barrier between them." "No known enemies?" "Well, that's not good." "You're never gonna believe what we saw at the au" " How did you know?" " Got it." " How'd I know what?" " About the finger." "Oh, I learned it early on." "See, it's sort of the universal" ""Hush up, I'm on the damn phone" symbol." "Oh, well, it must also be the "Billy Balsam bit off his killer's finger, 'cause we found it in his stomach at the autopsy" symbol." "A real finger?" "Good -- all we got to do is lift a print off that finger and match it to who done it and get our boy out the slammer." "There's no fingerprint." "The gastric acid in his stomach ate away at the skin, erased any trace of a print." "Police say the all's gone cold." "So whoever killed Billy is walking around with nine fingers, thinking they got away with murder." "Footloose and finger-free." "The pie maker considered how not telling Chuck the truth about her father was a lot like being locked in a prison." "Then he considered how being locked in a prison was actually much worse than some silly metaphor about truth." "Hey, baker boy." "You got a new roommate." "Burly Bruce?" "Aren't you the guy who got me locked up?" "!" "The pie maker was surprised, that here, perhaps 30 seconds from his own violent death, there were no grand revelations, but rather only one simple thought." " Chuck." " It is you." "But it was the thought that saved his life." "You know, you never told me how you met your girlfriend." "Sheila, right?" "It's a funny story." "We met carpooling." "I was tired of being stuck in traffic all the time." "Rule is, you need two or more for the diamond lane, so I answered a personal ad in a magazine." "Next thing I know, she's at my door." "Now, the first few weeks, we commuted together every day." "She never said much." "Then one night, I'm fixing dinner at my place, and I think, "I wonder what she's doing."" "So I invite her over." "What the hell?" "I did it as a friend, you know?" " You know how that is." " Uh, yeah." "Something happened at that dinner." "I don't know what it was." "The magic of romance, right?" "But there was definitely a spark." "We had so much in common." "We talked for hours." "One thing led to another, and before you know it, she was basically living with me." "I love her so much." "That's why I took the fall for her." "I know you love Sheila, Bruce, but maybe this is a chance to move on, find someone... full of life." "No." "Sheila's my girlfriend." "I don't care if they don't parole me for 80 years." "I'll find her again." "The truth could knock all it wanted, but burly Bruce would never open the door." "And maybe that was for the best." "I'm sure Sheila will still be there, Bruce, waiting for you." "17 miles away, the search to finger the fingerless killer of Billy Balsam continued." "No missing-digit emergencies reported at any of the local hospitals last night." "Maybe the killer didn't realize they lost a finger, so they never reported it to the hospital." "That would narrow our list of suspects down to only insanely stupid people." "Some amputees have phantom limbs." "They think the severed body part is still there, even when it's not." "It's like a psychological protection mechanism to save them from the trauma." "We need to go back to Bittersweets." "We need to get into the scene of the crime." "How are we gonna get past Dilly?" "Hi ya." "You got a lot of spunk coming back here." "I'm surprised you're here." "Yeah, well, it's what Billy would want." "Can I talk to you for a second in private?" "What are you doing?" "I mean outside private-- outside." "I know this has been so hard for you, and I feel your pain." "It's -- death is the worst." "This dude bit off somebody's finger and was found faceup in this taffy." "Which means..." "He probably wasn't attacked from behind." "Right." "So there must have been a struggle." "I'd say more like a full-on brawl." "This table was moved." "Wrong kitchen." "You know, marble's a very interesting stone." "It's resistant to grease and oils, which leave stains." "So, if it's not cleaned properly and right away and someone were to put their hand on it, say, um..." "In the heat of a scuffle..." "Then the oils on their hands should Leave imprints on the surface." " Two hands." " Nine fingerprints." "One taffy-drowning murderer." "I just want you to know that even though we got off on the wrong foot, we are still your neighbors, and we are here for you." "And I realize we may not be able to smile and wave at each other for a while because of events that have occurred." "Yeah, I broke your sign and called the city health inspector hotline, and you all killed my brother." "So we agree to disagree on that." "Do you want proof?" "Do you want me to show you something that proves exactly what happened to Billy?" "Let me show you." " What?" "It's an empty car trunk." " No, it's not." "Oh, crap!" "Help!" "Help!" "Her hands-- she's wearing mittens." "Put the gun down, lady." "The pie-making murderer couldn't finish the job, so he sent his girlfriend and the muscle to finish me off?" "Ned didn't kill anyone, and you know it." "We're just trying to find out the truth." "The only truth you need to know is I miss my brother." " You got 10 fingers." " You're not the killer." "And I don't think you want to be one, either." "Let us take the evidence to the authorities." "We'll find out who really killed your brother." "All right." "You can go." "If you can put whoever killed my brother behind bars," "I will be happy." "I thought I wanted revenge, but all I really need is j-j-j-justice." " Did she just stutter?" " Yep." "And take your trunk monkey with you." "The facts were these" "After Olive was freed from Dilly Balsam's trunk..." "Stinks in there." "...The authorities explained that the time it would take for the dismembered digit to pass through the digestive system of Billy Balsam and have its fingerprints erased by the acid contained in the stomach put the time of death of one Billy Balsam" "hours earlier than the time the pie maker was found hovering over the body." "Fingerprint analysis of the sheet of candy fruit exposed the nine-fingered culprit to be none other than..." "Andrew Brown, health inspector, whom, it was revealed upon further investigation, had been blackmailing Dilly and Billy Balsam." "Having paid off the inspector to conduct a surprise inspection that led to the pie hole's temporary shutdown, brown had demanded a bribe, lest he reveal" "Billy and Dilly's dastardly deed and shut them down, too." "Unwilling to be bullied, Billy Balsam balked." "Health inspector Andrew Brown is now believed to be the number-one suspect in the murder of Balsam's Bittersweets" "Taffy  Sweets emporium co-owner Billy Balsam." "Thanks to the work of private investigator Emerson Cod, the owner of the local pie hole has been cleared of all charges and released from jail." "Authorities are conducting an extensive search for Andrew Brown, who remains at large." "Up next, can apes drive?" "We'll find out." "Dead girl walking." "Walking right toward me." "Are you okay?" "Sure." "I mean, I am now." "Ned." " That hug goes double for me." " Oh, double." "Double hug." " Olive." " What?" "Come on." "Doing this work without you..." "Well, it actually ends up meaning" "I'm doing a whole lot of work." "Not that I can't do it, 'cause I can." " I just don't like it." " Glad to be back." "It's not all that bad in jail." "I had a lot of time to think, and I came to a decision." "Everyone talks about how the truth will set you free, but burly Bruce was free to love someone 'cause he was so good at lying to himself about that doll being real." "Which is to say..." ""Go, lying."" "Or at least "Yay to not telling the truth."" "I'm not gonna tell Chuck about her dad." "I just heard that as though it came out of my own mouth." " Oh, wait." "It did." " Well, you were right." " Good night." " Good night." "Welcome home." "Safely home and cleared of having committed any crime, the pie maker enjoyed a celebratory piece of pie and went up to bed." " Olive." " Fredo." "I knew it was you." "Sometimes, a crime of passion is not realizing the passion in time, while other times, the crime is not seeing the world as it is." "But most crimes of passion are actually a crime." "So, people can actually feel their limbs after they're gone." "It's weird, but I kind of like it." "I know." "Me too." "When I was in jail, I think you were my phantom limb." " I was?" " You were." "It felt like you were with me the whole time." "I'm so glad you're back." "The pie maker had never felt closer to another person as he did at that moment." "He felt a rush of emotion overcome him..." "Chuck." "...Causing one crime of passion that came in the form of a confession." "I killed your dad." "Thanks to Raceman for the transcript"