"What's up?" "What's up?" "What's up?" "What's up?" "What's up?" "What's up?" "What's up?" "What's up?" "It's the office Christmas party at QI." "And we're ready to get down with a G for groovy show." "let's hang loose." "Boogie-woogie and put a donk on some awesome anecdotes and funky facts with tonight's guests." "The well wicked Lee Mack!" "The well safe Bill Bailey!" "The well cool David Tennant!" "it's Alan Davies." "We were slightly afraid that you may not have heard enough" "Lee goes..." "# It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. # Ah." "Bill goes..." "# So here it is merry Christmas.#" "David goes..." "# Last Christmas I gave you my heart. #" "And Alan goes..." "JEWISH TRADITIONAL MUSIC" "Excellent." "Later on we're going to put the photocopying machine but first a bit of bad news." "the QI cow." "But I'm afraid she's gone missing." "you will let me know." "boys and girls?" "AUDIENCE:" "She's behind you!" "Is she?" "the other side!" "I wish you'd warned me earlier." "Buttercup." "Great to see you." "What I'd like you to do is to do a demonstration for the boys and girls." "Would you go round the front?" "what Buttercup is going to do." "AUDIENCE LAUGH all right?" "And Buttercup is going to do an impression." "darling." "# It's beginning to look a lot like... #" "Is it two out of work actors?" "Oh!" "Oh... they're stamping their tiny heels." "There we go and..." "Is it the way of walking?" "yes." "Is it the legs not being in opposition or something?" "she's doing an impression of..." "A freak." "A cow with an inner ear problem." "Yeah." "left right." "Oh." "A weasel." "but not a weasel." "There are a couple actually." "Rhino?" "A tapir?" "The other one in..." "You're in Africa." "You're on safari." "Dormouse." "Giraffe." "Dormouse(!" ") Giraffe is the right idea." "Buttercup's very proud of herself." "That was a very fine..." "It was a very fine imitation of a giraffe." "do that left-right walk." "like horses..." "Buttercup?" "You see." "DAVID:" "Seems slightly drunk." "Is that a cow creeping up on someone?" "a big thank you to Buttercup!" "CHEERING AND APPLAUSE" "CRASH!" "BUTTERCUP MOOS" "Never ever in the history of show business been more appropriate." "Alan." "The question was about the gait of four-legged animals." "for example... that's how..." "But who was it..." "Do you know?" "if you can tell me who the man was progressed?" "moving images?" "Yes." "A French cinematographer?" "He was not French." "No." "His name was Eadweard Muybridge." "Oh(!" ") Hey." "No!" "He's very well known." "I bet people in the audience..." "You knew didn't you?" "AUDIENCE:" "Yes." "some of his pictures." "Lying toads." "His book was Animal Locomotion." "And he demonstrates the difference galloping and trotting in horses. he also did humans." "And he was no stranger to controversy." "He murdered his love rival in cold blood." "What?" "Yup." "as well?" "He might have done to claim what excuse?" "Insanity." "Yes!" "Points for David Tennant." "Absolutely." "Come on!" "Well done. was giving us her giraffe impression." "what use is a giraffe bicycle?" "# It's beginning to look... # Lee." "I was thinking of the hedgehog skateboard." "isn't it?" "Any thoughts? we didn't actually put pram wheels on the giraffes." "No." "Fair point." "That has been added in." "You don't want letters." "Yeah. as opposed to a bicycle for a giraffe?" "A bicycle with a long neck." "We've been seasonally silly." "Alan is right." "a big bicycle." "It was called a giraffe bicycle." "It had a little badge on it saying The Giraffe Bicycle." "And it had a specific function." "But you may know that all bicycles at the beginning were very big." "There is The Giraffe Bicycle." "That looks lethal." "What happens when you get to the lights?" "there weren't traffic lights then." "Delivering papers to giant mailboxes." "thank you." "For lighting lamps." "David Tennant." "One point." "Thank you." "It's all the time travel he does." "He knows something about every era." "Yeah." "(He's acting.) So..." "What?" "What do you mean?" "Don't listen to him." "I'm sorry." "Don't tell me..." "Don't listen to the bad man." "isn't it?" "It's a documentary." "Exactly." "LAUGHTER" "Cybermen are real." "Saw one in the corridor upstairs looking for you." "Mr Tennant!" "Like that." "Can I just ask a question about that?" "Yeah." "you'd have to do it on the move." "whoa!" "Otherwise you'll fall over." "You get to the lamp." "You lean against the lamp." "You've got a torch and you raise your lit torch to..." "these are gas lamps." "And you hold... your assistant dismounts you." "don't..." "AUDIENCE LAUGHS" "We've got a very Christmassy audience." "If you were leaning on the lamp would there be anything...?" "Just lean down and set light to him." "Mr Woo... # Ow!" "ah!" "But you could use the post to swing around and you could do like a figure of eight between them all." "you've got a TV show." "Giraffe biking on ice." "Celebrity..." "Celebrity giraffe biking on ice." "early bicycles were all very tall." "the classic sort?" "known as an ordinary bicycle." "doesn't it? was known as a Dwarf Safety." "And that was considered a really tiny bike." "were like this." "How do they get on those things?" "I guess a leany thing and a..." "Like horses." "I know they used to..." "Get out of a first floor window... get down on to it." "There were novelty big bicycles and the Clark Brothers built flood bikes to go above flood waters." "So you could get around..." "That's what I thought that other one was." "That would have been a good guess." "Higher than the Penny Farthing?" "yes." "How flooded did it used to get?" "Then of course there was the cross-channel bike." "Which was over a mile up into the sky." "But there are people on tall bikes to this day." "like jousting." "With lances on bikes." "highly." "We used do at school." "like a polo only on bikes." "You use a hockey stick and a ball." "And then you just go round on a..." "On quad bikes?" "not on quad bikes." "In a quadrangle." "In a quadrangle." "Yeah." "You played hockey in a quadrangle?" "Yeah." "I can tell right away." "Why?" "How is that different?" "at my school we use to set fire to cars." "In an octangle." "there you are." "I suppose...flying." "Giraffe bicycles were a boon to the weary lamp lighter." "to queue bargers?" "very unfavourably." "yah." "it goes against the very bedrock of Western society." "in lanes entering the motorway." "And there's a coned off lane." "I'd better conscientiously merge now." "And some people go right the way down the end of the thing." "You!" "You do that!" "later merger Davies." "Alan was a part-time ambulance driver." "Like a zip!"." "one." "isn't it?" "Yes." "I hate the late mergers in the bar queue." "they get on the edges." "I hate when you're at the bar and someone taps the bloke next to you." "mate?" "Or when you're at the bar and someone leans forward and they get served first just cos they're on television." "I hate th... scum." "make way." "Enough!" "Lord Fry." "Just come for a port." "here." "On his bicycle with his hockey stick." "Make way." "Mr Fry." "get out!" "Can anyone here sing the Lord's Prayer in Latin?" "No?" "all of you!" "Throw that man on the fire." "sanctificetur nomen tuum...." "It happens I do know it." "You see." "I don't know why." "queue jumping." "It is despicable and you would think most people react very badly." "If someone were to walk in and just barge in front of a queue." "But do you know the name..." "You're probably familiar with the experiments done by a behavioural psychologist in which members of the public were given white coats and asked to inflict pain." "Stanley Milgram is the one best known for it." "They asked people to do things that were against what they considered to be right." "And yet because they were told to do it..." "And the person doing it had apparent authority." "But the less well known experiments were in queues or lines as he would say." "elsewhere." "you'd think where people would not be afraid to show their opinion." "And what the experimenters had to do was enter the queue between the third and fourth person in line." "Excuse me I'd like to get in here." "and only leave when admonished whichever was sooner. because they were admonished." "And in only 50% did anyone so much as tut." "It's extraordinary." "Where was this?" "This was in America." "In America." "Not in Tunbridge." "No." "Not in Tunbridge." "No." "Not in Peckham." "No." "very high tut ratio. then it's five items or fewer." "Don't come in with six and stand in front." "LEE:" "But that's confusing..." "Do you look in their basket?" "You bet I do." "And then say absolutely nothing about it." "Yes." "But what if it's three for two?" "I'll give you one of those items off." "you'll give me two?" "I'll give you two of those three." "But if there's not a special offer on..." "And I'm checking." "I know you're checking for those offers." "Oh." "take him." "That was low." "Get your sonic thing out." "In the First World War..." "Is that it?" "A biro from WH Smith?" "!" "It's not working." "It's not working?" "Help!" "they toured a tank..." "Boom!" "..around Britain." "look!" "Don'twaveit around!" "Easywiththat!" "Whoa!" "they toured a tank around Britain." "And it went to all the major city centres in the country. to chuck any spare change they had into the tank." "bless." "because they thought it was a big fruit machine." "Oh!" "He's bad." "Mummy!" "I've won a soldier!" "yeah." "I cannae do this." "I cannae..." "You'll win a prize." "I can do it!" "dear." "Do you like my Scottish accent?" "There we are." "it was." "I see." "we're more tolerant of queue jumpers than they deserve." "until 2008 it was legal to smoke what I'm talking about in Dutch coffee shops." "But now they've changed the law." "What is it?" "Yes." "Tobacco." "He's clever." "He's right." "but you're too smart for us." "they don't mind you smoking that." "They encourage it." "I went to Amsterdam when I was 19 years old." "And I don't do drugs." "And I'd never done drugs." "And I sat in this cafe and everyone was smoking." "I'm not going to touch that." "I'll just have a piece of cake." "don't you?" "It's a hash brownie." "But I thought that was the same way as you have brandy and trifle." "it's just a little jokey thing." "It's had no effect." "I'll have another one." "I accused the taxi driver of trying to kill me." "The point is it leads to rather bizarre situations. you would be fined." "you can only have pure." "It's only mixed or... not since July 2008." "No." "I suppose." "you can't get passive smoking from pure... more carcinogenic than tobacco." "dear." "It's seven times more or something." "Really?" "that's 20 fags. you could smoke tobacco in the street." "you'd be breaking the law." "You don't know whether to go indoors or out." "magic mushrooms." "as you're talking about drugs." "yes." "..which is that sort of..." "Like the mushroom you get in a fairy tale." "Like a big cheese toasty." "It's red with white spots on it." "The fly agaric in Siberia was eaten by the reindeer." "And so the reindeer would eat this fly agaric and they'd bounce around." "Off their face." "That is where the legend of flying reindeer came from." "Oh!" "For your Christmas edition." "That's a Christmassy story." "the drug addled reindeer." "because it's highly toxic to humans... drink it and get a secondary..." "Buzz." "And then you could drink the wee of the man that drunk it." "Just a mild sort of..." "Lovely buzz." "Just sort of nice feeling." "wouldn't it?" "Pop it in your drink." "And it would be like a little sort of Pro Plus." "Fabulous." "We're actually going to move on to various narcotics in a moment." "But I'm just going to finish off this smoking business." "Are we?" "Hooray!" "Tell me when smoking bans were first introduced into Europe." "# It's beginning to look... #" "Yes." "Three years ago?" "Four years ago?" "it's earlier." "Five years?" "Earlier." "You're thinking..." "I'm not an idiot!" "10 years ago." "15 years ago!" "I think." "I've got an idea." "79 years ago." "Ha!" "yeah." "You're the one that said it!" "almost 79 years ago." "cut me some slack." "But you'll find I corrected myself." "but that's all right." "JEWISH TRADITIONAL MUSIC If only I could rewind." "Alan." "Very good." "I hate this game." "He's experienced." "It was the Nazis." "It was the Nazis." "The Nazis banned smoking?" "!" "they had very strong anti... the less I like." "that's the final straw." "Up until this point I'd be prepared..." "I can rationalise everything else." "But that! restrictions on tobacco rations for women and linking tobacco use with lung cancer." "the wrath of the Red Indian man against the white man for having been given hard liquor." "He suggested that Nazism might never have worked hasn't it?" "Put your fag in your mouth..." "Maybe that's how that started." "He didn't like smoke." "The first smoking ban we could find is 1640." "Tsar Michael of Russia declared smoking a deadly sin." "had their lips slit." "GROANING whoa!" "Your lips slit." "Like when you lick an envelope and you get a paper cut... that's horrible." "what about in Jackass when they did paper cuts between the toes." "Oh!" "I was kneeling on my seat in the cinema facing the other way" "Tell me when it's stopped!" "I couldn't look at it." "Did you go to see Jackass at the cinema?" "Yeah." "I don't mind watching it late at night when I've come from the pub." "But I wouldn't go to..." "There was a movie." "Jackass the movie is the funniest film ever made." "indeed." "yah!" "I believe." "Oh..." "But it was James I of England and VI of Scotland who was the first real anti-smoking tyrant." "He wrote a pamphlet called the Counterblaste To Tobacco." "In which he damned it and damned it and double damned it." "Really?" "Why?" "For being injurious to the lungs and everything." "He spotted it wasn't a good thing." "but you can't damn it and damn it and double can you?" "You can damn it and damn it and triple damn it." "obviously." "actually." "Yes..." "Very good." "you knew that. but not tobacco in a coffee shop." "And tobacco but not cannabis on the streets." "you can't smoke tobacco in Dutch coffee shops or libraries come to that matter." "But do you get a kick out of book sniffing?" "Book sniffing? to get the adhesive?" "It's not the adhesive." "what would form around it?" "Mildew." "Mildew and mould and general fungal matter." "fungus." "And one of the fungi that grows is an hallucinogenic fungus." "And it seems it maybe has been responsible for affecting quite a lot of scholars and antiquarians." "The source of inspiration for many great literary figures may have been nothing more than a sniff of the bouquet of mouldy books." "Who'sbuyingbooks that look like that?" "they'd be in libraries." "All books are rotting." "because the paper breaks down into an acid which makes them rot even faster." "we'd have to get quite close to it?" "And you have to do it for quite a long time." "Yeah." "It's a rather unusual way of reading..." "It seems extraordinary." "LEE:" "I can't help doing that... and I'm having a look through and they've got those aftershave things..." "Those scratch and sniff." "I always have a little." "it must be a good one." "I always have a problem that aftershave stops smelling" "I'll buy it." "can you?" "the fact is it would take a long time to get truly high on one of them." "But it is a real fungus and is truly hallucinogenic. the hallucinogenic ones?" "which is like that one really." "But the magic mushroom..." "psilocybin." "Silent P...psilocybin." "Interesting experiments have been done. are based on some sort of hallucinogenic experience." "It's an interesting thought." "Isn't there some sort of theory in America that there's a religiosity... some have come up..." "There's some part of the brain which induces some sort of spiritual..." "Which may be accessed by magic mushrooms." "Do you know who rediscovered the magic mushroom?" "yes." "And he was the first person..." "To formalise acid?" "yes." "LSD." "That was his even more famous thing." "as it were?" "wasn't it?" "It was... yeah." "no." "I mean a little further than that." "But a kind of bread." "Bread would have a mould which would cause..." "The yeast... the yeast of a bap." "It was called ergot. and rye." "Rye in particular." "And ergot has lysergic acid in it. that Hoffman absorbed some though his skin without knowing it and had these extraordinary hallucinations." "So... three days later he took what he thought was a tiny dose diethylamide." "000 times more potent." "A demon had invaded me." "mind and soul." "I screamed trying to free myself from him." "helpless on the sofa." "The substance I'd wanted to experiment upon had vanquished me." "I was seized by the dreadful fear of going insane." "Wasn't it the fact that he actually... he was funded by the CIA." "Because the CIA got wind of it." "And they thought it was some sort of drug" "I think." "Or truth drug." "yeah." "And basically they were responsible for the psychedelic movement." "the CIA basically eventually led to Jimi Hendrix." "essentially." "Yeah." "Thank God for the CIA." "Indeed." "Without them we wouldn't have had Purple Haze." "old books give off a mixture of inert gases and hallucinogenic fungus spores." "A combination much beloved of book sniffers." "grooviest hippest cat on the show tonight?" "I'd have thought." "Yeah." "DAVID:" "I'm going for Bill." "Could be." "What do we know about these words?" "many of them are jazz words." "And how old are they?" "'40s?" "Stone Age." "Let's take the word cool." "do you think?" "'60s Beatnik poet era." "1933." "But I don't think that's quite relevant." "MOCK GERMAN ACCENT:" "These new uniforms are cool. 1933." "this is Christmas. # daddy-oh." "I have no choice." "I burned down the Reichstag." "Cool." "Jazz Nazis." "HUMS A JAZZY PHRASE" "It was the West Coast School..." "ButjazzNaziswouldusebotharms." "It was the West Coast School Of Relaxed Jazz led by Miles Davis." "is 1957." "Which was the year I was born." "maybe I am cool." "Groovy." "I'd love if you said all that that as a chat-up line." "Do you know who the coolest person in the room is tonight?" "Let me explain." "In 1933..." Cut to two hours later." "is why I am cool." "Where's she gone?" ""Can I get you another vermouth?" "Don't go." "What about groovy?" "When did groovy first arrive?" "Groovy?" "Ploughing." "Ploughing in the 17th Century." "hasn't it?" "You're right." "Black jazzers in the 1930s." "because the needle was in the groove of the record." "there we are." "What about hip or hep?" "When did that come?" "a hep cat?" "Hip or hep?" "Both words are used." "I'veneverheardhep ." "Have you not heard hep?" "I've read On The Road." "My mother's just had a hep operation." "Or a hop operation." "Where you just cut your left... in black American slang in 1904 - hip." "I'm afraid." "There is a theory that in the groove is also a sexual reference hello." "as well." "madam." "meaning fellow or chap?" "that's got to come from Top Cat..." "Hewasthecoolestcatintown." "He WAS the coolest cat." "He was." "He always got one over on Officer Dibble." "It's from the musical Cats." "That'snotcool!" "was first spotted. 1920." "Exactly right!" "To the year." "Brilliant." "That was a guess!" "All right." "Good." "More points." "Get ready with the year to shout." "Chick for meaning a girl?" "chica." "Chiquita." "Chiquita!" "A cigarette?" "A cigarette." "that's it." "That's it." "Shakespeare." "All my little chicks." In one fell swoop." "You're right." "In Mac as you... don't say Beth." "What about dude?" "Dude meaning a person." "The Amish." "When?" "not who. 1702." "dude." "Any other thoughts?" "LEE:" "Neanderthal." "1883. 1883?" "Dude?" "Foxy?" "Pardon?" "I beg your pardon?" "Foxy." "meaning splendid." "2001." "The Salem Witch Trails." "1920." "meaning...?" "these are surprises." "she's a witch sense"?" "Course not." "That's much older." "They weren't doing that in the 1920s?" "!" "cool wicked." "I'm wicked." "kill you." "Much of the youth slang we associate with the '60s and '70s is jazz speak from the '30s polygamy." "Polygamy would be fairly groovy." "how many wives would you have?" "# So here it is merry... #" "Up to nine." "Up to nine?" "Yes." "ALARM BLARES" "Bill." "I'm sorry." "What?" "Up to nine?" "Nine counts as many!" "yeah." ""Have you been drinking?" ""I've only had up to nine." "haven't you?" "officer." "What do you mean I can't drive a tractor through the shopping centre?" "I haven't had many." "I was just after some shoes." "But as you probably know... obviously Mormons are associated with plural marriages." "apparently." "Telling him that he could have as many wives as he liked. but you can't do what you like. but you can't have it in practice." "You can have it as a belief." "Does this mean it happens but there's just no legal...?" "it means it doesn't happen cos they go to prison." "But people live together in groups of up to nine without actually... they do." "This is the weird thing about polygamy. if you deceive someone by having a mistress and a whole family..." "Yes." "I love you both." "How would it be if I married both of you?" "that would be breaking the law." "Yes." "It's kind of odd." "Or if a woman said that to two men." "isn't it?" "I just don't see why it should be quite so illegal." "If people willingly enter it." "If it's a deception it should be wrong." "Should it be capped at a certain number?" "Up to nine." "Up to nine." "Ten." "Ten?" "I'm not a slag." "No." "then?" "They don't condone polygamy at all? had a convenient divine revelation telling him that the practice should stop." "So God just came in at the last minute." "That's good." "Isn't that handy?" "That is handy." "There are of course the lovely Osmonds." "Aren't they lovely?" "Were they all married to each other?" "right." "They're members" "I think they're from." "What teeth!" "weren't they?" "Were they?" "Apart from Jimmy - he was The Long Haired Lover From Liverpool." "there was big Graham Osmond." "The one they kept in the attic." "Who had terrible teeth." "He had one massive..." "Yellow teeth." "..and a claw." "He wrote all the songs... ..by groaning them." "He groaned them into a tin can that was connected by a piece of string." "HOWLS:" "Crazy." "Horses." "MUMBLES AND GROANS:" "Wild horses." "HOWLS:" "Crazy." "Horses." "ALAN MOANS" "You're very bad and you know it." "BILL GROANS What was that?" "Graham?" "LEE:" "Bring me another wife!" "calm yourselves down." "Bill Bailey said!" "I've only got eight!" "I'mallowedto havemany!" "behave." "Pull yourselves together at once." "The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints..." "Whata greatidea!" "That's a great idea for Doctor Who isn't it?" "He goes into the attic." "secret brother of The Osmonds." "Aaaah!" "And that's how they kill off David Tennant." "Imagine that!" "Raaawrr!" "Played by Bill Bailey." "You're sick puppies." "I'm very ashamed of you. has forbidden polygamy for 120 years." "Which brings us to what we call General Ignorance." "put your fingers on your buzzers." "What are these gentlemen spelling out in semaphore?" "# Last Christmas... # wouldn't you?" "ALARM BLARES" "Paul McCartney died and there's a replacement?" "but..." "I am a walrus." "No." "# It's beginning to look... #" "Paul is "live and Ringo is "yellow submarine"." "OK." "That's the elderly brother of The Beatles that's not allowed don't start." "MOANS:" "I'm in a yellow submarine!" "DAVID:" "Daydream Believer." "That was the Monkees." "MOANS:" "Help!" "I'm in a submarine." "BILL MUMBLES" "I'll write that down." "that's very good." "the photographer who was commissioned to do the cover of Help did ask them to do it." "But for some reason nobody liked the outcome graphically." "Instead they positioned their arms" "V." "Like so." "Which..." "It probably meant something to them. the first of the great Beatles conspiracy theories." "people said." "For crying out loud." "Isn't it tragic?" "Claiming that John had died." "Why do fans ruin the bands?" "John had died." "We need a way of telling the thing." "let's get John back out." "Stuff him." "I know." "Surely a conspiracy theory... he's not dead." "But actually help would have looked like... which seems acceptable to me." "V." "or infamous Beatles...?" "Barefoot on the Abbey Road cover." "Barefoot on the Abbey Road cover is the classic." "And what did that indicate?" "Dead." "supposedly John is said to be dressed as a preacher." "George as a grave digger..." "Why a grave digger in denim?" "but no shoes is a corpse." "You might also notice that he's carrying a cigarette. you would find that had disappeared." "LEE:" "Where's it gone?" "it's gone." "Wow." "Disappeared." "Robert Freeman wanted to arrange The Beatles to spell out Help." "V." "What does Puff The Magic Dragon have in common with Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds?" "# It suddenly looks a lot... #" "Lee?" "Are they both about drugs?" "ALARM BLARES they're not." "A lot of people think they are but neither is." "Do you know Puff The Magic Dragon?" "Do you know the song?" "# Puff The Magic Dragon lived by the sea" "# And he frolicked in the... # ..in the land of..." "MUMBLES SONG" "# Puff the Magic Dragon... #" "THEY AIMLESSLY MUMBLE SONG" "Very good." "That's excellent." "Is that right?" "Yup." "That's the song." "Yeah." "It's based on an Ogden Nash rhyme called The Really-O Truly-O Dragon." "I was 20 years old in 1959." "drugs had not emerged." "would never have had drugs around him." "And now you've heard that from the mouth of the dragon's daddy." "It is not about drugs." "He thinks he's a dragon's daddy?" "!" "Yeah." "there is that." "It was going well until the very end." "Do you know the official story of Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds?" "Yeah." "Didn't Julian come home from playgroup with a picture?" ""Lucy in the sky with diamonds." "Brilliant." "Absolutely right." "He'dwrittenthewholesong (?" ")" "it's my song!" "You've stolen my painting." "Get me a pen." "he'd done..." "He'd done a..." "Little Julian..." "God!" "Little Julian had painted a girl surrounded by stars." "and it was his friend Lucy in playgroup. "Lucy in the sky with diamonds." The older brother spoke like that." "what's that? they didn't notice that the initials spelled out..." "LSD." "..until after the record was released." "Good." "I can't stop singing Auld Lang Syne." "I'll have to send you to the BURNS unit." "what's wrong with that joke?" "Isitabsolutelyterrible?" "ALARM BLARES" "You see." "Any other thoughts?" "of course it's not because Burns' Night is not on New Year's Eve." "It's on..." "What is it?" "25th January." "of course you wouldn't be singing" "Auld Lang Syne on Burns' Night." "You'd sing it on New Year's Eve." "That's true." "You'd be waiting three weeks." "But most people think that Auld Lang Syne was written by Rabbie Burns." "Auld Lang wasn't even written by Burns." "Yay!" "That's right." "Although a lot of members of the Burns' Society believe he wrote it." "And say that it's nonsense he didn't." "He himself said he didn't." "He said it was a traditional song that he wrote down." "Really?" "Yeah." "Auld Lang Syne first comes up in 1724 we see it." "And that was 35 years before Burns was born." "It's a very popular song though in all kinds of places." "Especially in the Far East." "yes." "..it's played daily to mark closing time in most large department stores." "So how did Burns sign himself?" "What was his name?" "What did he call himself?" "Rabbie." "yes." "Robin and Rab and Robert." "But never Robbie or Rabbie oddly enough." "Even though everyone calls him Rabbie or Robbie Burns." "There you go." "auld lang syne?" "old...remembrance?" "Yeah." "Kind of old long since." "long time ago." "And how do the words go?" "Anyone who can give me the lyrics gets points?" "# Should auld acquaintance be forgot" "ALL: # And never brought to mind" "# Should auld acquaintance be forgot" "# For the sake of auld lang syne" "# For auld lang syne" "# Auld lang syne" "DAVID ALONE:" "# We'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet yes." "Full points." "Well done." "There we go." "drugs and rock'n'roll brings us to the end of the QI office party. let's see if everyone has scored." "And what they have scored." "bless my blimey." "I'm afraid our last place loser tonight is Lee Mack!" "CHEERING AND WHOOPING (Is that good?" ")" "In third place with -6 it's Bill Bailey." "CHEERING AND WHOOPING this is getting tense." "David Tennant." "CHEERING AND WHOOPING" "Which can only mean it's a blue moon!" "Alan Davies is the winner." "+5?" "Thank you." "CHEERING we are bidding a cool yule and a gear New Year to you all" "Alan and me." "And tonight for some reason I thought I'd leave you with a joke about doctors and time travel." "I keep seeing into the future." "And when did this start?" "Next Tuesday afternoon." "Good night and happy Christmas." "CHEERING AND APPLAUSE" "Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd." "E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk"