"♪ There's a hundred and four days of summer vacation" "♪ and school comes along just to end it" "♪ So the annual problem for our generation" "♪ is finding a good way to spend it" "♪ Like maybe" "♪ Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy" "♪ or climbing up the Eiffel Tower" "♪ Discovering something that doesn't exist" "♪ Or giving a monkey a shower" "♪ Surfing tidal waves" "♪ Creating nano-bots or locating Frankenstein's brain" "It's over here!" "♪ Finding a dodo bird Painting a continent" "♪ Or driving our sister insane" "Phineas!" "♪ As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do" "♪ before school starts this fall" "♪ So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all!" "Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!" "(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)" "CHORUS:" "♪ Perry" "(HORN BLOWS)" "Hey, you can't do that!" "Hey, the same thing, but in French." "You're out of your jurisdiction, buddy." "I'll take it from here, eh?" "Whoa!" "(TIRES SCREECH)" "Coming through!" "Well, there's no catching up to them, now." "(BEEP)" "(STARTS ENGINE)" "Agent P. We just received word you're on Canadian soil." "We don't have jurisdiction there." "Stand down." "That's an order!" "Sorry, Agent P. Our hands are tied." "Carl, don't interrupt me!" "Return to headquarters, pronto!" "Sorry." "(CHATTERING)" "PHINEAS:" "Good morning, Perry." "Ready to start another fun day?" "FERB:" "Good morning, Perry." "MOM:" "Hi, Perry." "How are you?" "CANDACE:" "Okay, Mom." "If you go out into the yard today and there's nothing there, I'll..." "Candace, you were supposed to do that anyway." "So, we have a deal?" "BUFORD:" "So, what you're saying is that it advocates a mixed economy where significant roles are played by the private sector and the government?" "BALJEET:" "No, it..." "Actually, yes." "That is what I was saying." "BUFORD:" "Hey, Perry." "ISABELLA:" "Good morning, Perry." "What you doing?" "(CAR ALARM BLARING)" "Agent P. Doofenshmirtz was last seen boarding a train transporting Precious Albert the Moose." "Cue the graphic, Carl." "Albert the Moose is Canada's prized animal who represents the unity of the provinces." "We need you to make sure that Doof keeps his mitts off that moose." "If you fail, the Canada Day celebrations will be ruined and Canada will break into civil war." "Or, since it's Canada, it would be a civil conversation where secession would be the topic of discussion and..." "Carl!" "Antlers?" "Now, this train runs along the border between the United States and Canada." "So, you'll only have jurisdiction on the American side of the train." "To help you out on the Canadian side of the train, you'll be teaming up with an agent from C.O.W.C.A., the Canadian Organization Without a Cool Acronym," "Agent Lyla." "You may remember her from that special assignment for our Seattle bureau we sent you on a couple of months ago." "I know that didn't go too well." "But, I expect you to be a professional and put that all behind you." "So, get out there and good luck." "Carl, can I have those antlers back?" "(CHUCKLES) Oh, yeah." "I 'mrockin'thislook!" "LYLA:" "Woo-hoo!" "Ah, Agent P!" "We meet again." "Oh, look at that face!" "I know, you work alone." "But you'll see, Mister "I can do it all by myself", having someone to watch your back can be just what you need, there!" "Hey, where are you going?" "Ah, Perry the Platypus!" "What an unexpected..." "Oh, Wait, wait, wait!" "You're trapped... by societal convention!" "Look, we're in a fine dining environment." "Everyone knows not to throw a scene in a fancy restaurant." "That's right." "You're trapped." "Sit down." "Oh, shoot!" "I see we're trapped by societal convention." "Agent Lyla, from C.O.W.C.A.?" "Is this an international team-up?" "Oh, you must hate that, Perry the Platypus!" "A loner like you?" "LYLA:" "Oh, come on, he's warming up to the idea." "Why, are you causing trouble in Canada, Doofenshmirtz?" "Well, you see," "I'm part of a U.S.-Canada evil scheme exchange program." "I come up with a scheme and this other Canadian guy comes up with a scheme and we switch." "I do his scheme, and he does mine." "You gonna eat those fries?" "Don't touch!" "Anyway, I've got a little Math quiz for the both of you." "If a train carrying Precious Albert the Moose left British Columbia at 8:00 in the morning, what time would it arrive at the Canada Day Celebration?" "Never." "Because I've tied up the conductor using my remote controlled Train-Operator-Inator." "Right now we are all headed to my scheme exchange partner's secret fortress." "Hey!" "Cut it out!" "Those are mine." "Seriously, I can get the waiter over here if you want to order your own, but, please." "This evil exchange partner of yours, what's his name?" "I think his name was Sir Railing or Dr. Stairway, or something." "Professor Bannister!" "Of course, my arch nemesis." "Can I put some gravy on those?" "Seriously." "Leave my lunch alone!" "Anyway, after Professor Bannister gets the moose, it's going to ruin Canada Day, or you know, whatever." "Crazy, right?" "You know what's really crazy?" "How good these fries are." "Hey, I am not kidding." "Leave those alone!" "I just don't understand it." "Why would you take my lunch when you're in the dining car and you can have your own lunch." "Oh, it makes me crazy when people pick at my food." "Seriously, why is your hand out like that?" "I'm seriously going to lose it!" "I..." "Oh, now you're both doing it?" "Stop it!" "Stop it!" "Oh, no, not even taking now, but squishing." "I can't take it!" "(SHOUTING) Get your own lunch!" "That man is causing such a scene in here, it makes me feel free to break up with you in a very loud manner!" "I can't stand being a waiter." "(ALL SHOUTING)" "Very clever." "You've completely dismantled my societal convention trap!" "Let's get that Inator!" "It's pronounced "in-a-tor!"" "(PANTING)" "You did that on purpose." "All right, Doofenshmirtz." "End of the line." "Oh, train metaphors, so that's how... (GRUNTING)" "I got it!" "Ow!" "Ugh!" "Mine." "Oh, here, let me..." "I know how to use it." "Seriously, just give me..." "You know, I think I'm with Perry the Platypus on this." "I don't like seeing him teamed up either." "I don't know." "I think he's warming up to it." "Wait, P!" "That's the Canadian side of the train!" "You know, I think I'm going back to the Canadian side!" "I got this!" "Oh, no, you don't." "I'm on the American side, now." "You can't touch me." "Oh!" "Canada!" "Oh!" "America!" "Ow!" "Oh, it's on, now." "LYLA:" "Ha!" "Take that!" "This is for William Hull and the War of 1812!" "Look it up, kids." "I got him, P, cuff him!" "Hold it." "Hold it." "Ooh, sorry." "Where is he?" "(DOOR CLOSING)" "Open up, big guy!" "DOOFENSHMIRTZ:" "Occupied!" "Oh, oh, sorry." "You know what they have in here?" "They have those tiny soaps." "They make my hands look so big!" "It's like I'm a giant." "All set!" "LYLA:" "I can't believe it!" "He left the seat up!" "DOOFENSHMIRTZ:" "I'm up here, Perry the Platypus!" "You knew we'd end up up here eventually, right?" "P?" "Wait up!" "(PANTING)" "(LAUGHS)" "LYLA:" "He's getting away!" "Aah!" "Oh!" "Aah!" "Perry!" "P!" "Help me up." "Give me a hand!" "(SCREAMING)" "(TRAIN HONKS) Whoops!" "Sorry!" "My bad, eh?" "Hey, look!" "An old-timey handcar." "I've got an idea." "Come on." "P, what are you doing?" "This is a handcar." "There's a trick to it." "Look, if we're going to catch the train, we're going to have to work together." "We've got to get in sync, develop a rhythm." "Watch." "I'll show you." "♪ Yours goes up" "♪ When mine goes down" "♪ And then we do it the other way around" "♪ Don't you give me that sigh" "♪ 'Cause if we can't see eye to eye" "♪ Then our missions will be always filled with strife" "♪ 'Cause a handcar is a metaphor for life" "♪ For life" "Don't push up." "Just push down." "I'll push down on my side." "That's it." "That's right!" "Here we go... (YELLING)" "Ah, I see a little platy-smile there." "That's right." "Now we're cooking with gas!" "See?" "It's better when we work together." "♪ We're on a handcar" "♪ We're on a handcar CHORUS:" "♪ Handcar" "♪ We're on a handcar CHORUS:" "♪ Handcar" "♪ We're like a well-oiled machine" "♪ We're on a handcar CHORUS:" "♪ Handcar" "♪ We're on a handcar CHORUS:" "♪ Handcar" "♪ We're a real double header" "♪ Yeah, that's a heavy handed metaphor" "♪ For how we work together" "♪ It's a handcar CHORUS:" "♪ Handcar" "♪ Yeah, we're on a handcar CHORUS:" "♪ Handcar" "♪ We're on a handcar CHORUS:" "♪ Handcar" "♪ Yeah, we're on a handcar ♪" "Excuse me, conductor." "You know, the train doesn't seem to be stopping at any of the scheduled stations." "My apologies, Straphanger." "Which one was your stop?" "The next one." "Oh, don't be concerned." "Step right this way." "So, wife cooking dinner tonight?" "Oh, yes." "We're having asparagus tips." "Asparagus tips?" "Very classy." "What's the entree?" "Nova Scotia Salmon." "Mmm-mmm!" "Delish." "Well, here's your station." "Say hi to your wife for me!" "Oh, shoot!" "Ow!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Oh, shoot!" "Well, someone's home early." "The conductor says hi!" "Hey, fellow commuters, look!" "It's a lady!" "And a platypus." "On a handcar." "(RINGTONE) ♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!" "♪" "My cell phone alert says there's a new platypus video online that's trending." "Perry the Platypus?" "And Agent Lyla?" "On an old-timey..." "Oh, ha!" "Bet you can't do that!" "I learned that in the '80s." "I also learned how to back away slowly on a newly installed escape platform." "(LAUGHING) So long, suckers." "And now, to watch my evil plan play out from the observa..." "This..." "This is an observation deck?" "Chairs nailed to a roof?" "You're blocking my view of Saskatchewan, eh?" "Saskatchewan is that way, you dolt!" "Hold it right there, Doofenshmirtz." "No, you hold it right there." "Because I still have this." "The Train-Operator-Inator!" "Without it, the train would be completely..." "Oh, boy!" "...out of control!" "Hey, where's Perry?" "All right, so I'm on a runaway train in a tunnel." "Afraid of the dark." "Probably also afraid of runaway trains, never really given it much thought." "Doesn't come out that..." "Ah!" "There's got to be an emergency brake in the engine car." "Let's go!" "So, I, uh..." "I guess I'll go with you, then." "Wait up, Perry the Platypus, my shoe's untied." "Just hang on a second." "You can't be too careful when you're running across a moving train." "There we go." "Wait." "On second thought," "I'll double knot this puppy." "Okay!" "Let's go!" "Ah!" "Ah, gross!" "Some joker left the seat up." "Would you guys mind bringing me some paper towels or something?" "I..." "Is that a no?" "The emergency brake is toast" "I'm gonna have to jury-rig the controls." "Darn it!" "(YELLING)" "If we weren't in the middle of a runaway train crisis," "I would totally be giving you a hard time for leaving me in the toilet bowl." "LYLA:" "Now, let me just get the red wire." "(LAUGHS) Bingo!" "Um, not to burst your bubble, but I don't think we're slowing down." "We're not." "I just got the hazard lights working." "Safety first." "The brakes were too far gone to fix." "Now, we just need to get all the passengers and Precious Albert the Moose into the same car and we can save them." "(CHATTERING)" "You're right!" "The caboose!" "Let's go." "This is why I'd rather not make friends." "They find someone else and bam, you're alone." "Attention, passengers." "There is no need to panic but... (SCREAMING)" "Pardon the interruption, Precious Albert, sir, but your tea is ready." "(CROWD SCREAMING)" "Folks, everything is under control, eh?" "We're gonna separate the caboose from the rest of the train." "I'm gonna take a pic of this and send it to C.O.W.C.A.!" "(CAMERA CLICKS)" "(ALL CHEERING) We're saved!" "We did it." "Wait, I swear that wasn't me." "(PASSENGERS SCREAMING)" "Bannister!" "I should have known." "You thinking what I'm thinking?" "Oh, man!" "I never have a grappling hook when I need one." "And I totally looked at mine this morning when I was getting dressed." "It was right there on the dresser." "Oh, I hate it when that happens." "Well, well, well." "If it isn't C.O.W.C.A.'s best agent, the unfortunately named Lyla Lolliberry." "Listen, you, I come from a long alliterative line of Lolliberries." "And now you're trapped miles above solid ground with nothing but a beaver at your side." "Uh, he's a platypus, not a beaver." "Hiya, Banni!" "Pardon me, official exchange buddy coming through." "Yo, bro." "Back so soon?" "My evil plan usually takes all day." "Well, I'll tell you." "It went a little something like this." "(POWERING UP)" "Well, I guess if you've got no one to monologue to..." "Actually, that's not, uh..." "That's not really a back story." "It's just an expositional flashback." "It doesn't, uh, have any childhood trauma, it doesn't really form who he is, it's not..." "It's just flashback." "There's a difference." "It's subtle but there's a difference." "Anyway, you're not the only productive one." "I've taken care of your moose problem." "Perfect!" "No Albert the Moose, no Canada Day." "And you call yourself a Canadian." "Do I?" "smell like pine needles and over-emphasize my T's, I'm Canadian?" "Well, you'd be wrong." "Because I'm from Greenland!" "(GASPING) (GASPING)" "Cool flag!" "Thanks." "Wait, no, it's not." "And that's the problem." "We have no national pride." "I mean, listen to this." "(PATRIOTIC MUSIC PLAYING)" "Greenland's national anthem." "Seriously, does that inspire you to do anything other than ice fish?" "But, Canada, oh, they got it all." "The maple syrup, the national parks, the medal-winning curling team." "The moose." "The symbol of Canada's national pride." "Precious Albert the Moose." "But what if he were to disappear?" "Everyone would lapse into a deep malaise, forgetting what it means to be Canadian." "I would then annex Canada to Greenland, bring back Precious Albert, and reinvigorate the national pride!" "And I've written a new national anthem." "♪ Oh, Greenland!" "♪ Home of things that aren't so green" "♪ Though we call it Greenland" "♪ Shining Greenland" "♪ People are very short there" "♪ In Greenland" "You're from Greenland?" "your country of origin to the Love Muffin organization?" "Plus, your scheme is unnecessarily complicated and doesn't even seem like it would work." "And that's coming from me." "It's the perfect plan!" "(ROBOTIC BEEPING) Yes, it will." "See, he agrees." "Will you stop it?" "Who is he talking to?" "Oh, how rude of me!" "Allow me to introduce..." "Me-positive and Me-negative." "They are two magnetic robots" "I created for the purpose of vanquishing my enemies." "Magnetic robots?" "Yes, because it's all about polarity." "You can't have two positives or two negatives." "Oh, you can have two negatives." "Just look at my family." "Wait a second!" "Those robot parts look familiar!" "Oh, right!" "I got them from some friends of mine." "I think you may have met in Seattle?" "DOOFENSHMIRTZ:" "Wow." "Those guys have been playing cards really quietly." "I remember them!" "But I knew they would lead me to you, Bannister." "That's why I let them escape." "Me-positive and Me-negative can take care of you." "Oh, I get it!" "We're going to have an old-fashioned helicopter fight." "Oh, a helicopter fight!" "Things can get really nasty." "I'm just gonna go play cards." "♪ If you're looking for rapture, better hold on tight" "♪ Helicopter fight, helicopter fight" "♪ Lookity-looks like we got ourselves a helicopter fight" "♪ Helicopter fight, helicopter fight" "♪ Do we move any confusion from ambiguous writing?" "♪ Helicopter fight, helicopter fight" "♪ This is people fighting on a helicopter" "♪ Not two helicopters fighting" "♪ Oh!" "♪ Though that would have been cool" "♪ It might have been more exciting" "♪ You think?" "♪ Let's take a look" "(GLASS SHATTERING)" "♪ Though that looked better in my head" "♪ Let's just get back to the action" "♪ That was really pretty lame" "♪ I apologize for the distraction" "♪ This is a helicopter fight" "♪ People fighting on a helicopter" "♪ This is a helicopter fight" "♪ People fighting on a helicopter" "♪ This is a helicopter fight" "♪ It's not two helicopters fighting, oh, no" "♪ It sounded good but it was only so-so" "♪ This is people fighting on a helicopter ♪" "What?" "I have just one thing to say to you, Lyla Lolliberry." "(YELLING) Farvel!" "What does farvel mean?" "It's Danish for "goodbye"." "It's one of the languages we speak in Green..." "(YELLING)" "Jinx you, Lyla Lolliberry!" "Jinx you!" "(CHATTERING)" "Way to text in the cavalry." "Okay, let's get this bird off to Canada Day." "We have a guest of honor to deliver." "(O CANADA PLAYING)" "(CROWD CHEERING)" "Go, Canada." "Go, eh!" "Way to go, Constitution Act of 1864." "(HOLLERS) Right on." "So, now you see why I had to let those guys go." "Right, P?" "But how was he supposed to know you had a tracker on their truck?" "He understands how these things are." "One minute you're catching a thief, the next you get Intel they might be leading you somewhere bigger and better." "Oh, and by bigger and better you obviously mean me." "Right?" "Right?" "Yeah, right." "Ah, anyway." "You got some serious skills there, P." "(CHATTERING)" "Oh, stop." "You're making me blush." "I can see that things went well with our neighbors to the North." "Well, now that our mission is done..." "Our mission?" "Maybe we could drop by Niagara Falls." "It's so close by and I've always wanted to see it." "Well, I suppose we could swing by on our way back." "(VIOLINS PLAYING)" "(SUCKING NOISILY)" "(SIGHS)" "I wonder how my scheme worked out for Professor Bannister." "I'm sure that Cloud-Magnetize-inator was a winner." "CANDACE:" "Mom!" "Mom!" "Mom!" "Hey, Perry." "Mom!" "Mom!" "Mom!" "PHINEAS:" "How was it that a cloud was able to carry off our metal super structure?" "But, but, but..." "Someone's got a bathroom to clean." "Everyone else, there's pie." "Oh, there you are, Perry." "Ah, a platypus' life is a life of leisure." "Yes." "Yes, it is." "We'd like to apologize on behalf of the show for poking a little fun at Greenland." "The Greenland flag is actually verifiably cool." "It was designed by Thue Christiansen as part of a flag designing contest in the '80s?" "Is this actually true, Carl?" "CARL:" "According to the Internet, sir." "Also, we understand that the people of Greenland do have enormous national pride and are not necessarily short." "This was all purely in the interest of comedy and not meant to be taken seriously." "Go, Greenland!"