" Previously on batman:" "The brave and the bold..." " Aah!" "[both grunting]" " The phase oscillator" "A bridge to parallel earths." "Owlman's a parallel me" "The evil one." " Where you going?" " To get answers." "Red hood, stay down." "I'm here to help." " You're from the parallel world." "Whoever he is, I hope my counterpart on your world" "Will have a chance to repay you." "[siren]" " Hands up, batman!" "You're under arrest!" " This is clearly a mistake." "I'll just explain." " Your reign of terror in gotham is over, freak." " Or maybe not." "[click]" " Hey!" "[coughing]" " What?" "[coughing]" " Batman's heading west on haney." " Suspect known to be armed and very dangerous." " I returned from the world of opposites" "Only to find my own has gone topsy-turvy." "And according to the date, I'd been gone 3 weeks." "It seems the phase oscillator does more" "Than simply bridge worlds." "It warps time." "[alarm ringing]" "Of course." "Looks like I wasn't the only one" "Playing dress-up on a parallel world." " Uhh!" " Uhh!" "Uhh!" "[both grunting]" " Welcome home, dark knight." " Owlman." "You beat my failsafe holding cell." " Hunh!" " A titanium alloy 7-pin, 8-cam lock" "[bototh grunting]" " And since you're alive, that means you defeated my friends" "And freed my enemies." "Impressive." "[both grunt]" " I bet you'd like the keys to your life back now," "Such as it is." " Uhh!" " And you'd like the phase oscillator" "So you can go home and prepare an invasion." " Unh!" "Uhh!" " Uhh!" " You're a hard bat to pin down, old friend." "Hero one second, villain the next." " Green arrow, the criminal you're after isn't me." "He's my evil double from a parallel world." " Right." "Uhh!" " I have spider holes like this all over gotham," "Built to surprise my enemies." "[sirens]" "Never expected to use them to save myself." " Bats knocked out 2 guards," "Blew up a lot of cash and got away from me." "Whatever his game is, he's going down tonight." "And, no," "Your assistance is not required." " Bat's in my crosshairs." "Unh!" "Aah!" " Uhh!" " And to think," "All those lectures you gave me" "About staying on the straight and narrow." "How does he do that?" " Uhh!" "Uhh!" "[beep]" " No response from the car." "Of course." "Owlman stole it and reprogrammed it." " Blind alley." "He's trapped." " So this is how it ends." "Not in a battle against criminals," "But taken down by my own best friends." " How does he do that?" " Uhh!" "Uhh!" "Uhh!" " Tsk, tsk, tsk, batman." "Our game was so simple" "Brooding hero, dashing devil-may-care villain." "I strap you to a drill press," "You lock me in a rubber room." "And it's fits and giggles till aunt fannie comes home." "But if you think you can switch sides" "And out-criminal the clown prince of crime," "It's only fair to warn you," "I always blow away the competition." " Recently, business has been lousy," "But I'm about to make a real killing." "Ha ha ha!" "Ha ha ha ha ha ha" "Uhh!" "Ooh!" "Ha." "Never could take a joke." " But I can deliver a punch" " Hold the trolley." "I don't want to fight." "I want to be partners." "Assuming you're you and not that pointy-eared fake in a cape." " How did you know about my imposter?" " Still wound tighter than a straitjacket, I see." "Ah, you're the dull deal, all right." "And as for your doppelgangster..." "You see, he messed with the natural order." "Not your style at all." "Batman a worse threat to gotham" "Than the harlequin of hate?" "Why, it's libelous, I say!" "You know it's always been my gift" "To bring smiles to others." " Ha ha ha..." "Ha ha!" "Ha ha!" "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "[thud]" " But inside, I'm one very sad clown." " Ha ha ha ha!" "Hoo hoo hoo hoo!" " So crazy thought" "You and I team against our common foe." " Only a twisted, diseased mind like yours" "Could think of such a plan." "I'll deal with owlman myself." " You need me, sunny jim." "If the new you is as good at being bad" "As the old you is at being you," "Then neither of you can beat the other on your own, see?" "But if owlman's another you," "He craves control." "And who better to take down a control freak" "Than the nemesis of order," "The crown prince of chaos" "Moi." "Just think about how many times" "I've nearly punched your ticket." " The clown's crazy, but he's onto something." "Adding an unexpected element to the mix" "Could tip things in my favor." " Found him!" "And he's not alone." " So..." "Shall we take your car..." "Or mine?" "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" " That's the clown's car!" "Stop it!" " Ha ha ha ha!" "Ha ha ha ha-- [tires screeching]" " So, how we doing?" "Did we get him?" " You're an idiot." " We need to go somewhere safe to figure out our next move." "But owlman has the batmobile." "[engine revving]" "Stop." "Good thing I keep a spare." " We'll make the bestest team ever--joker and batman." "Fine, batman and joker." "Take top billing," "But why is it always me compromising for the sake of the act?" " Joker, if we're going to work together," "I need your word you won't hurt anyone." " Hmm." "Not really me," "But what the heck-- I'm in." "Put 'er there!" "Oopsy-batsy." "Old habits." "Speaking of old, they don't build 'em like this anymore." "So what's this one do?" " Don't touch that." " What's this one do?" " Don't touch that." "What's this one do?" " Don't touch that." " Ooh, shiny!" "What does this one do?" " You really don't want to touch that." " [snoring]" " Told you not to touch it." "[spraying] [joker muttering]" "My, what big ears you have." "Jiminy christmas, the bat cave!" "[gasps] look at all your toys!" "[gasps] oh, an entire wing for moi?" "I knew you cared." "[gasps]" "[growling]" " We need to find a pattern," "Deduce owlman's next target." "I combed through owlman's files," "He searched mine." "Which means owlman knows every hero's weakness." " What?" "I'm helping." " I keep detailed files on my friends," "Methods to neutralize them," "In case any of us ever fall under a criminal's control." " Huh?" "Uh--uh--aah!" " Aah!" "Uhh!" " I never dreaead my precautions would fall into the wrong hands." "Evil hands." "Well, joker, you ready to do this?" " To the batmobile!" "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "[opens door] ooh!" "What's this one do?" "[spraying] [joker snoring]" "Uhh..." "Sensing a lack of trust, batsy." "I get it--we don't play well with others," "So, end of the day, neither of us can count on anyone" "But ourselves." " Arrow, beetle, anyone copy?" " I read you, bats." "You two clowns ready to pay your debt to society," "Earn a fresh start and a clean slate?" " You're in danger." "Stay put." "I'm coming to you." " Nice try, batman." "Even you can't get the drop on me 3 times in one..." "Dayay" "Aah!" "[shivering] h-how d-did he do that?" " I hope you're hungry." "You're about to be served a heaping double dip of justice." " Remember our deal, joker." " Huhh!" "Uhh!" " Hey, I got the heroes off your back." "How about a litt gratitude?" "Say a phase oscillator, perhaps?" " Not feeling very gracious right now." " Uhh!" " So, not hurt anyone." "Hmm." "Too toxic." "Too stabby." "Too fruity." "Hey, where's my" "The real one will move." "He always does." " [groaning]" " Heh heh." "Oopsy." "" " Joker." "" " Ho ababsolutely eililarating!" "I could get used it to this hero stuff." "Besides, noboby kills my wingman but me." " We all know how what this works." "A fair trara" "Your buddies for my phase oscillator." "Everyone goes home happy." " Listen, you creep in bat's clothing," "We don't make deals with criminal scum." " Don't touch my radio." "We don't make deals with criminal scum" "Usually." " Don't care about your friends?" "Fine." "How about the man in the street?" " Aah!" " Brake, choke, throttle." " Ooh!" "My kind of fun." " [gasps]" "Please don't hurt me, batman." " Ha ha ha ha ha ho ho ho!" "[beeping]" " [groans] [brakes screeching]" " Clown face saved me." "Oh, watch out, clown face!" "It's batman!" " It's ok, kiddo." "Bat breath's with me." " Bye-bye, clown face!" " 'fess up, bats." "What made you take a chance on me?" " Whoever he is," "I hope my counterpart on your world" "Will have a chance to repay you." " Something a friend said." " Gentlemen, I hope you're enjoying your accommodations." "Each was tailored to your special needs." " [groaning]" " 5 more minutes under that lamp, aquaman," "And you'll be fish jerky." " [groaning]" " Hope you like taffy, plastic man." "You're about to become it." "My own invention, blue beetle." "Heroes check in, but they don't check out." "Atom," "At your size, a hit from a single lead particle" "Will be like a direct shot from a cannonball." "Speaking of shots..." " Yeah, ok, I get it." " When this magnet tears you apart, red tornado," "Clock king will get a chance to see what makes you tick." " So, you recruited these venomous vipers" "To help you with your diabolical scheme." "Of course, batman," "Seems they wanted to see all of you iced, too." "So I repeat--give me the phase oscillator" "Or the heroes die." " And you lose your only ticket home." " Grrr!" " Uhh!" "Hunh!" " Ohh!" " Time-out!" "Since batman's being such a spoilsport, joker," "Maybe you'll want to play along." "I knew you were coming, so I planned a surprise" "Just for you." "[beep]" "Your very own trap," "Primed and ready for batman," "If you're interested." " Joker..." " Oh, bat buddy," "We shared some laughs," "And I really gave the hero thing" "The old clown college try." "But it's just not me." "Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "[continues laughing]" "Oh, what fun!" " Hunh!" " Uhh!" "Unh!" " Wormholes?" "Wormholes!" "So that's how he does it." " Unh!" "Ohh!" " I'll be taking what's mine now." "When I return with my friends," "We'll take everything else." " Well, finally a batman who's in on the joke." "Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" " I knew you'd betray me, joker." "You said it" "In the end, I'd have to count on myself." "So in the split-second I was gone," "I spent a week visiting parallel earths." "Traveling alone is a great way to get in touch with yourself." "In fact, I really bonded with me," "Myself, and I." "Shall we?" " Unh!" " Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" " [grunts]" " Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "[continues laughing]" " Excuse me." "Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "Aah!" "[all grunting]" "[grunting]" " Out of the way, you giggling ghoul." " No way, bat fake!" "He's mine." "It's my destiny to take out the caped crusader." "[beep]" "Drat." " Funny thing about wild cards, joker" "You never know which way they'll fall." "[sirens]" " You know I'll be back somehow to even the score, batman." " And you know I'll take you down every time." "If you ever need anything," "You know where to find me." " Psst." "Bats, based on this little adventure," "If you weren't the stalwart hero" "And I wasn't the homicidal maniac," "We could have been friends." " [thinking] thanks to the red hood," "I know that somewhere inside the joker" "There's a decent man." " But next time, batman," "I'll have the trump card." "The clown prince of crime will have the final laugh." "Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "Ah ha ha ha ha ha!" " Or maybe not."