"Ho ho and ho!" "Hi, hi, and hiiiiiii!" "All right, young lovers of learning and short pants..." " I do love short pants!" " Yeah, guess what I love." " What?" " Slapping perky redheads." "Now Jade..." "don't be a Christmas grunch." "Ha ha ha. "Grunch." That's my word." " You need to calm down." " I can't calm down!" " It's not the end of the world." " Yeah, it is..." " it's absolutely the end of the world." " You have all next semester to make it up." " I don't care, I'm just gonna give up music!" " You know what..." "Just forget it!" "Forget everything!" "HO HO HO AND JINGLE BELLS!" "NO, ANDRE DON'T YOU DARE" "Ah, ya did it." "I BET THAT JINGLED HIS BELLS." "I'M SORRY BUT ALL OF Y'ALL CAN JUST KEEP YOUR CHRISTMAS SPIRIT TO YOURSELVES." "Andre?" " You got a beef with Christmas?" " I love Christmas beef!" " EVERY YEAR, MY BROTHER STEALS A CHUCK ROAST AND THEN RUBS IT WITH" " CAT!" "Hey." "Hey." "You woke me up." "Ooh sorry Beck." "Certainly wouldn't want to keep you awake during my class." "Thanks." "You're the best." "BEFORE I GET MY "TEACH ON"..." "Andre... why the sour puss?" "Yeah." "Why the sour puss?" "I don't really want to talk about it." "ANDRE WROTE A CHRISTMAS SONG FOR HIS CREATIVE MUSIC CLASS..." "Ahhhhhh..." "And it was a really great song..." "But his teacher gave him..." " Don't say that loud." " Okay." "A D. Ah!" "I said it out loud!" " A D?" " I've always gotten A's in music." "How does a person go from an A to a D?" "HAPPENED TO ME IN EIGHTH GRADE." "Well, I'm sorry Andre." "Now." " Yo!" " Whoa whoa, wa... wow?" "!" "WHY BECKY IS SO SLEEPY?" "There's a stupid cricket in my R.V so I can't sleep." "'Cuz it chirps all night long." "SO JUST CALL ONE A'THOSE BUG MURDERERS." "THEY'RE CALLED EXTERMINATORS." "Yeah, why sugar coat it?" " Hey, Sikowitz!" " Yes, what is it boy?" "I have your Hollywood Arts secret Santa assignment." "WHO AM I BUYING A GIFT FOR THIS YEAR?" "!" "Courtney Van Cleef?" "!" "Oh no." "That kid's a freaky little weirdo." "She's my sister." "I know!" "I don't know why your parents didn't stop with you." "COULD I PLEASE SWITCH SECRET SANTA ASSIGNMENTS WITH SOMEONE?" "C'MON, PLEASE?" "TORI?" "Sorry." "I didn't sign up for the secret Santa thing." "YEAH, NONE OF US DID." " Why not?" " 'Cuz it's stupid." "Why should we buy gifts for random people we don't care about?" " I mean what's the point?" " All right." "YOU KIDS NEED A BIG FAT DOSE OF CHRISTMAS SPIRIT" "RAMMED INTO YOUR TEENAGE HEARTS." "So theresuch, as your teacher," "I require you to participate in shh." " Secret Santa." " Ah." "No, Sikowitz." "AH!" "NO AD-LIB COMPLAINING." "I'll text you all your secret Santa assignment." "And I expect you all to give very good, very creative gifts." "And what if we don't?" "Whoever gives the worst give, will have to join me on Christmas eve for Christmas yodeling." " What's Christmas yodeling?" " Tori!" "♪ Yo-da-lay-dee-doo" "♪ duh-day-dee-deee..." "♪ Here I am" "♪ once again feeling lost but now and then." "♪ I breathe it in to let it go" "♪ and you don't know where you are now" "♪ or what it will come to" "♪ if only somebody could hear" "♪ when you figure out how" "♪ you're lost in the moment" "♪ you disappear" "♪ you don't have to be afraid" "♪ to put your dream in action" "♪ you're never gonna fade" "♪ you'll be the main attraction" "♪ not a fantasy" "♪ just remember me" "♪ when it turns out right" "♪ 'cause you know" "♪ that if you live in your imagination" "♪ tomorrow you'll be everybody's fascination" "♪ in my victory" "♪ just remember me" "♪ when I make it shine" "Setting up our mechanical Santa Clause!" "He's chubby and cute!" "Feeling:" "Kringly." "Okay, Mr. Sante Clause, let's see whatcha got." "Wooh!" "Ha ha." "Show me that north pole shuffle." "Ahhh!" "Uh-oh." "What's wrong, buddy?" "Help me!" "Get off!" "Get off me!" "Tori!" "Quit playing with my mechanical Santa!" "Did you see that?" "!" "The Santa tried to kill me." "Will you quit acting childish and help me bring the Christmas tree in?" " You bought a tree?" " Yarp." "Well I thought we were gonna wait for mom and dad to get back in town." "I do not need your negativity." " Oh!" "Yay!" " Yay what?" "Yay me?" "No, I just got a text from Sikowitz." "I get to be secret Santa for Andre." "Look!" "AT MY ENORMOUS CHRISTMAS TREE!" "I'm looking." "Come help me pull it in!" "Man, how big is this tree?" "It's not small." " Hi!" "Christmas beef." "My brother made it!" " Yeah." "Merry Christmas!" "Hi!" "Christmas beef." "My brother made it!" "YAY, HAVE A BEEFY CHRISTMAS!" " Hi." "Christmas beef?" " Just give me anyone else." "Jade, you're Tori's secret Santa and let be that!" "But why do I have to..." "He said he's not gonna change it so just deal with it, why don't you just deal with it?" "Why don't you just deal with it?" "His heart is vibrating." " How much coffee have you drank?" " A lot, like a lot." "I don't know." "Like maybe seven cups, a lot, is there a problem?" "He's drinking coffee so stay awake at shool" "'CUZ OF THE STUPID CRICKET THAT'S KEEPING HIM UP EVERY NIGHT." "LOTTA COFFEE." "Look, I don't wanna be Tori's secret Santa." "Too bad!" " STOP BOUNCING!" "." " I CAN'T HELP IT." " Hey, Trina, Trina." " What?" "You wanna see what I got Andre for his secret Santa gift?" "No." "Look!" "It's a little ceramic guitar!" "I MADE IT AT COLOR ME POT." "I thought Sikowitz said that your secret Santa gifts have to be really special and creative." "He did." "Well, that's ugly and useless." "Nooo, it's cute." "And look!" "He can pretend to play it, like... ♪ Tori gave me the Christmas present" "♪ And it's a tiny guitarrrr..." " Why are you walking away?" " 'Cuz I'm embarrassed for you." "♪ THATASAS MEAN." "Hey Andre, Christmas beef?" "Yeah, sure." " Wait." "Who made it?" " My brother." "UNH-UH, NOPE, NO THANK YOU." "Why not?" "'CUZ LAST MONTH I ATE HIS THANKSGIVING SAUSAGE" "AND I'M STILL A MESS." "Ho ho to the ho!" " WHAT'S SUP?" " Ho!" "SO MISTER MUSIC MAN... close your eyes and get ready for..." " FOR THE BEST SECRET" " CAT VALENTINE." " Calling Cat Valentie." " I'm Cat Valentine!" "Who's calling?" "Your secret Santa." "Oh my God!" "Yay!" "And your Christmas present is..." "Your very own cotton candy machine." "Whoa." "THAT'S RIGHT." "THIS MAN, LARRY STEIN," "WILL FOLLOW YOU AROUND ALL WEEK AND GIVE YOU ALL THE COTTON CANDY YOU WANT!" "Oh my God Robbie!" "Thank you." "This is the best Christmas present ever!" "Look everyone!" "ROBBIE GOT ME A COTTON CANDY MACHINE WITH A MAN!" "C'MON LARRY, LET'S GET TO CLASS!" "FOLLOW MEEEE!" "That's a legit secret Santa gift." "Yeah." "It is." "Bye." "Hurry, Larry!" "Why?" "!" "Why is it so hard to think of a good gift for Andre?" "!" "Okay." "Got the star on top!" " Now, help me decorate it." " No." "I have to fi..." "I need your help, okay?" "And Robbie's late!" "I can't think about anything until I figure out what I'm get..." "Robbie?" "Yeah." "I invited him to help decorate the tree." "Since when're you and Robbie friends?" "Oh we're not." "I'm just started makin' him do stuff for me." "AND WHY WOULD HE AGREE TO THAT?" " 'CUZ I'M PRETTY." " BUT" "It's open!" "Hey girls." " Hey!" " Hey Robbie." "HOW ARE THE VEGA SISTERS DOING ON THIS FINE DECEMBER EVENING?" "There're twenty box of ornaments in the garage." "Go get them!" " You said we'd have pizza first." " Yeah, changed my mind." "Ornaments." "Get them!" "Roger dodger." "AND WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" "OH, I HAD SOME OF CAT'S CHRISTMAS BEEF AND I'M KIND OF A MESS." " You know she's just using you?" " I know." "But when we're done, she might hug me, so..." "I'm okay with it!" "That's so sad." "YEEEAAAH." "Hey, I think something just moved in your bushes outside." "MISTER BUSEY, IS THAT YOU?" "My dad said that you're not allowed in our yard anymore." "Okay now." "Stick your stupid arms right in there." "'Kay 'kay." "Ahhhhhhh!" " IT'S CRUSHING MY ARM!" " WHAT?" "!" "?" "!" "THIS?" "!" "?" "!" "?" "!" "NO, I'M JUST KIDDING " " IT FEELS NICE." "OH." "AH HA HA HA HA..." "Kill me with a rock." "Anthony." "Anthony c'mon please..." "Andre, the reason that you got a D is that your Christmas song deserved a D." "OKAY." "ALL RIGHT." "You're the teacher, and..." " AND I RESPECT YOUR DECISION." " Thank you." "WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?" "!" "I'm sorry!" "Anthony!" "Wait!" "I LET MY EMOTIONS GET THE BEST OF ME!" "ANTHONY!" "I'M GONNA WORK ON THIS!" "ANTHONY!" "ANTHONY!" " MISTER ROBBIE SHAPIRO..." " OH, HEY BECK." " LET'S TALK SECRET SANTA." " YOU'RE MY SECRET SANTA?" "!" "MERRY CHRISTMAS, ROB." "You bought me a girl?" "No." "No." "YOU KNOW HOW YOU ALWAYS TALK ABOUT THAT BULLY..." "THE ONE WHO USED TO BEAT YOU UP WHEN YOU WERE SEVEN?" "Yeah, Christy Vicaris." "I HATED THAT BEEFY LITTLE WITCH AND HER MEAN FACE." "AND YOU ALWAYS SAY YOU'D KILL FOR JUST ONE CHANCE TO TELL HER OFF?" "Yeah." "Robbie." "Christy Vicaris." "You found her?" "!" " You're Christy?" " So you wanna tell me off?" "Well..." "I did." "But now you're hot." "MAYBE YOU KIDS SHOULD GO TO JET BREW AND TALK THINGS OVER." "Oh, I'm not paying three dollars for a cup of coffee." "OOO, THIS WILL BUY COFFEE AND SCONS." " SCONES." " MAYBE IN CANADA." "Merry Christmas, Rob." "I know." "Here..." "THIS IS THE MOST GIGANTIC CUP OF COFFEE THEY SELL." "It's not enough." "LOOK, THAT CRICKET'S BEEN KEEPING YOU AWAKE FOR OVER A MONTH NOW" "HIIIIIIIII!" "SECRET SANTA TIME!" " YOU MINE OR HIS?" " YOURS!" "IT'S FOR YOU!" "Give it!" " Hey guys..." "Can I ask you a..." " Shut up!" "I'M OPENING A CHRISTMAS PRESENT." "Grunch." "OH MY GOD CAT, YOU DID NOT." "Scissors?" " THEY'RE SPECIAL SCISSORS!" " Okay." "THEY'RE FROM A REAL MOVIE!" "I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU GOT ME THESE." "WHAT MOVIE WERE THEY USED IN?" ""THE SCISSORING"." "Wait, that one about the girl who comes back from the death and uses a pair of scissors on her two best friends?" "Yep." "Starting with the pretty girl." "OH." "Um, anyway... you guys, I'm Andre's secret Santa, and I have like no clue what to give him." "Just get him a present." "Oh my God." "Okay." "Help me!" "Please." "I don't want to give him the worst present and then have to go Christmas yodeling with Sikowitz." "Two words..." " I bet they won't be helpful." " Your problem." "I was right." "Grrr!" "What do I get "a certain person" for Christmas?" "!" "?" "Feeling:" "UnMerry." "Hey!" "SO WHEN DO THE DECORATIONS GO ON THAT THING?" " Soon." " First we have to flock it." "YOU HAVE TO WHAT IT?" "Flock it." "I..." "I don't understand." "This is a flocking machine." "And use it to spray fake snow all over the tree." " And that called flocking?" " Sure is." "Someone's at the door, go get it." " Jade?" " Correct." "What are you here for?" "You." "Wait..." "DO YOU HAVE YOUR NEW SCISSORS WITH YOU?" "No." "DON'T BE SHY." "THOSE ARE MY OLD SCISSORS." "Okay." "So what do you want?" "Merry Christmas." " You're my secret Santa?" " Ho ho." "Ho..." "So... what's my gift?" "An idea... for a present to give to Andre." " You have an idea?" "!" " A perfect one!" "Awesome, tell me!" "Beg me!" "C'mon, if you have an idea..." "How do I make it flock?" "Just press the red button right on top..." "Sorry." "Please get me flock rag." "OMVG!" "Jade just gave me the best idea ever!" "Feeling:" "Very Merry!" "Hey man!" " Hey Beck!" " Yeah!" "Hey!" " Hi!" " What?" "Bam!" "Oh." "So you're my secret Santa." " TRUE CHIZ." "OPEN IT UP." " OKAY." " You bought me a cricket?" " Nope." "I caught you a cricket." "THAT'S THE ONE THAT'S BEEN LIVIN' IN YOUR TRAILER, KEEPIN' YOU UP EVERY NIGHT." "SHUT UP, HOW DID YOU" " HOW'D YOU CATCH HIM?" "!" "YOUR MOM LET ME INTO YOUR PLACE AFTER YOU LEFT THIS MORNING," "AND I USED SOME PEANUT BUTTER TO LURE HIM INTO THAT BOX." "How'd you know that crickets like peanut butter?" "Everybody likes peanut butter." "Is that a cricket?" " Yeah!" " Uh-huh." "Can I have it?" "Sure." "Courtney!" "Merry Christmas from your secret Santa." " WHAT'D YA GET?" " A CRICKET." "That's hot." "Oh..." "Here comes Robbie with Andre's teacher." "Ooo, hurry, go!" "Go!" "Check!" "Hey, Anthony!" "Hey!" "Okay, everyone," "YOU GUYS KNOW ANTHONY, ONE OF HOLLYWOOD ARTS' AWESOME MUSIC TEACHERS." " Yeah!" " Here he is, to my right." "Well." "Early of this week, he gave Andre Harris a D on his Christmas song." "OH MAN, NOW EVERYBODY KNOWS..." "SOOOOO..." "WE THOUGHT YOU GUYS SHOULD HEAR ANDRE'S CHRISTMAS SONG" " and see what you think." " Yeah" "♪ CAROLERS ARE SINGIN', SLEIGH BELLS ARE RINGIN'" "♪ It's that time of year" "♪ Everyone's toasting chestnuts are roastin'" "♪ Christmas time is near" "♪ But something's missin' and I'm wishin'" "♪ Wishin' that you knew" "♪ How much it would mean to spend this" "♪ Christmas time with you" "♪ So if you feel it comin'" "♪ On this special day" "♪ Just trust your heart" "♪ Don't let your head get in the way" "♪ 'Cuz it's Christmas" "♪ And the start of somethin' new" "♪ 'Cuz it's Christmas!" "♪ And I hope you feel it, too" "♪ Candy canes and mistletoe" "♪ Jack frost nipping' at your nose" "♪ But all of it means nothin' without yooou!" "♪ If just for a minute, you get a feelin'" "♪ Look up in the sky." "♪ Santa's here so get in the spirit" "♪ Just give it a try" "♪ Children beaming' and I'm dreamin'" "♪ Hopin' that it's true" "♪'Cuz it would mean so much to spend this." "♪ Christmas time with you" "♪ So if you feel it comin'" "♪ On this special day" "♪ Just trust your heart" "♪ 'Cuz I can't wait to hear you say" "♪ That it's Christmas" "♪ And the start of something new" "♪ Well, it's Christmas" "♪ And I hope you'll feel it, too" "♪ Everyone together sings" "♪ Of silver bells and golden rings" "♪ But all of it means nothin'" "♪ Without you... ♪ Oh no no no!" "♪ It's not Christmas" "♪ Without you-you-you" "♪ It's not Christmas without you-ooo-ooo" "Yeah." "That's my girls." "Merry Christmas Andre from your secret Santa." "All right, okay..." "Maybe I was wrong about your song." " Yeah!" " Way wrong." " So now you're gonna change Andre's grade to..." " Well..." "Perhaps... an "A"?" " An "A."" " Yeah!" "And when the gift giving was over" "Sikowitz realize that all the children gave each other wonderfully creative Christmas presents, and that his gift, a used cricket, to an awkward young girl was truly the worst Christmas present of all." "And so, on that Christmas eve..." "He yodeled with crazy strangers." "♪ Yo-da-lee-da-lo" "♪ da-yo-da-lee-da-laaay" "♪ yo-da-lee-da-lo" "♪ da-yo-da-lee-da-laaay" "♪ hoh" "♪ yo-da-lee, yo-da-lay" "♪ yo-da lee-da-ay!" "♪ Yo-da-lee, yo-da-lay" "♪ yo-da lee-da-ay!" "♪ Yo-da-lee, yo-da-lay" "♪ yo-da lee-da-ay!" "♪ Yo-da-lee, yo-da-lay" "♪ yo-da lee-da-ay!" "♪ Hoh" "♪ as long as you say it ♪" "♪ so tell me that you love me, ♪" "♪ yeah ♪" "♪ and tell me that I take your breath away ♪" "♪ and maybe if you take one more ♪" "♪ then I would know for sure ♪" "♪ there's nothing left to say ♪" "♪ tell me that you love me anyway ♪"