"NARRATOR:" "In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court... for a crime they didn't commit." "These men promptly escaped from a maximum-security stockade... to the Los Angeles underground." "Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune." "If you have a problem, if no one else can help... and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-Team." "[Theme music]" "[Slow instrumental music]" " Good afternoon." " Hello." "Welcome to Perrino's Restaurant." " Good afternoon, sir." "May I..." " May you what, sucker?" "May I park your vehicle?" "Are you crazy?" "Nobody drive my van but me." "Get out of here." "HANNIBAL:" "He's a famous French actor." "A little eccentric, but with a talent beyond compare." "He didn't sound French." "Studied for five years at the Harvard School of Performing Arts." "Bravo!" "Don't touch my van, sucker." "If you do, I'll come back and feed you your socks." "[In French accent] The famous "feed you your socks" line... from the Pulitzer Prize winning play, Right on Ruth by Margaret Hanley." "Shut up, fool." "Come on." "Mr. Peck, how marvelous to see you again." " Your table is, as always, waiting for you." " How sweet, Henri." "You run one of the best restaurants in the city." "We try, monsieur." "Have you ever come to our brunch?" "How long we gotta listen to this jive?" " When can we get something to eat?" " Allow me to take you to your table." "[Soft instrumental music playing]" "I have ordered a bottle of Mr. Peck's favourite wine for your table." " Merci." " Our compliments." " Enjoy." " Henri, you are a treasure." "Enjoy." "When's the wedding, Face?" "Head waiters need to be stroked." "And B.A., will you just button it?" "It's bad enough you look like an extra from Fort Apache... without giving the head waiters a bad time." "AMY:" "Which one is he?" " He ain't here, man." " He's probably in the supply room." "At first I thought I was wrong, but the more I ate here..." "Especially the bread." "Remember that bread he used to make?" "Just a hint of ginseng." "Remember that?" "Wonderful." "Man, this bread tastes like the bread we had in that Viet Cong prison camp." "[In Southern drawl] The North Vietnamese POW cuisine is highly underrated." "The sauces were exquisite, the brown gravy was simmered in wine." "[Face laughing sheepishly]" "Comedians from Second City." "They're opening at the Comedy Store Tuesday night." "A riot." "A real riot." "Come on, guys, try and not burn this place for me, huh?" "Do you think the cook at the POW camp you were at 10 years ago... is the pastry chef in this restaurant?" "HANNIBAL:" "It doesn't add up, Face." "How could Lin Duk Coo get out of a communist territory?" "No, we really owe it to that little guy." "There was a general in the camp, Amy." "He would starve the prisoners." "Guys were dying of malnutrition." "And Lin Duk Coo would just sneak them food." "MURDOCK:" "Saved a lot of grunts' lives and risked his own life." "If General Chow had caught him, he'd have killed him." "This is Lin's bread, all right." "There." "Now is that Lin Duk Coo or his twin brother, or what?" "HANNIBAL:" "I'll be a son of a gun." "That sure does look like him." "Face, why don't you just ask him?" "Well, I was a little hesitant to say anything." "I was with society people." "It didn't seem appropriate to stand up and call out to him in an elegant restaurant." "Hey, Lin Duk Coo!" "Ay-yi-yi!" "It's B.A. Baracus." "Hey, man!" "Come on, Face." "HANNIBAL:" "Gangway." "Thank you, Henri." "As always your hospitality was..." "[Fast-paced instrumental music]" "DON:" "Everybody on the ground!" "Okay, pal." "Let's go." "Do it now, or you're dead." "[Car tyres screeching]" "[Fast-paced instrumental music continues]" " I do nothing." "Let me go." " Shut up." "Where did those guys come from?" "When Lin came out the back door, they were on him like a cat on a rat." "Are you sure it was him?" "It's been 10 years." "Ay-yi-yi!" "Did you hear him say, "Ay-yi-yi"?" "He said, "Ay-yi-yi. "" "Yep, that was Lin, all right." " Nobody says "Ay-yi-yi" like that." " What?" "Well, when we were in prison camp, Murdock taught him some Western songs." "The Chisolm trail, you know, "Come a ti-yi-yipee-yipee-ay. "" "Well, that was Lin's favourite expression." "Only he couldn't sing it right." "He used to sing: "Come a ti-yi-yi-yi-yi. "" "'Cause Murdock didn't teach him right." "That's how we know it's him for sure." "[Adventurous instrumental music]" "All right." "We don't know what's going on in there." "We gotta play it loose." "Amy, you take the wheel." "When we come out, pull this thing in close." "Got it." "Ready?" "Let's go." "B.A., you take the right flank." "I'll take point." "Face, you take the left." "Murdock, you're on rear guard." "On a 30 count, give us crossfire on a retreat." "Hannibal, don't put this crazy man on the crossfire." "I don't wanna get shot by this fool." "It's just a cover position, in case we get in trouble." "We never get in trouble." "1,001, 1,002, 1,003..." "[Tense instrumental music]" "[Tense instrumental music continues]" "I guess you know you're dead, mister." "A threat from one without authority is not to be feared." "Mr. Anderson says take him out with the load and feed him to the crabs." "In case you don't comprende, that's the authority to waste your butt." " Are we loaded?" " In a minute." "Let's get outta here." "You, let's go." "All right, drop them or get kissed off." "[Don grunts]" "[Gunshots firing]" "[Gunshots continue firing]" "Come on, Lin, move it." "[Car tyres screeching]" "Hey, you need a lift?" "[Fast-paced instrumental music]" "MURDOCK:" "Ride 'em, cowboy!" "[Whooping excitedly]" "[Slow instrumental music]" "HANNIBAL:" "Hey, Face, what kind of place is this?" "FACE:" "We need a hideout." "We might as well use my new apartment." "And be sure you don't mess anything up." "MURDOCK:" "Lin, you buckaroo." "Oh, boy, I get rescued in the nick of time." "If you'd looked before you ran, you would've seen it was us." "LIN:" "Yes, you are one hard man to miss." " What's going on, Lin?" " I'm in big trouble." "DR. PETERS:" "Mr. Toney?" " Is everything all right?" " Fine, Dr. Peters." "These people are here to install Mrs. Wright's 16th floor "L" unit." "Wait till you see it, little piece of heaven." "DR. PETERS:" "Outstanding." "I hope you're still planning on Sunday brunch." "Yeah, wouldn't miss it." "Nice to see you, Mrs. Peters." "Mr. Toney?" "You gotta be kidding." "Sounds like some hairdresser to me." "Mr. Toney." "Isn't that the name of a famous LA decorator?" "Look, can we get out of the garage, please?" "Let's just go to my penthouse suite." "Of course." "Mrs. Kline, Mr. Kline." "How many times have I told you, when you deliver a crushed velvet sofa... you must wear white gloves." "You left your fingerprints all over it." "Now, let Mr. and Mrs. Kline out, please." "LIN:" "Faceman does not change." "Still scams like crazy." "You jiving these folks you a decorator, man?" "A decorator, Face?" "That's great." "I love it." "Yeah, a riot, isn't it?" "I supply the hideout and you supply the raspberries." "[Murdock murmuring in amazement]" ""This model penthouse apartment was designed by... "" "Man, how did you scam a place like this?" "I live in a sleazy hotel and you live in a palace." "Look, can we put the apartment behind us?" "I think we should try to find out why they're trying to kill Lin." "I love it, Face." "You got a lot of style." "This lamp ought to be a little higher." "Here you are, living in Mr. Toney's plush pile playpen... bumming brunches with Dr. and Mrs. Peters... and wearing Mr. Toney's silk jammies." "I'm proud of you." "HANNIBAL:" "And as leader of the A-Team..." "I'm gonna commandeer this joint for my temporary headquarters." "B.A.:" "Hey, Face." "We like your place." "Great." "Just great." "Try and help out, and you get used and abused." "Faceman is still one sharp cookie." "LIN:" "I come to America." "General Chow arranged it for me." "He say to me, "Contact Mr. Anderson at Angel Bakery Company." ""Give him a letter. " Which is what I do." "Mr. Anderson turned out to be..." "Lt. Angel from POW camp." "That creep from "C" barracks?" "That slime Navy lieutenant who burned everybody?" "Mr. Snitch?" "So that sadistic general you guys were telling me about sent Lin to the U.S.?" "Yeah, he's got the power to arrange about anything." "He wanted Lin to take a message to the worst dirtball in that POW camp... a Navy lieutenant who collaborated with the enemy." "HANNIBAL:" "His name was Thomas Angel... and then he changed it to Thomas Anderson." "He's the one who owns that bakery." "That's all I know." "Got no more information." "LIN:" "After I deliver message, I hear them say they're gonna kill me." "I run, get job as cook." "I guess today they find me, and try to kill me." "They gotta get past me first." "What's going on?" "I have been informed of last night's mistake." "General Chow, this is not Vietnam." "ANDERSON:" "You aren't the camp commander any more, and I am not your POW." "Furthermore, you'd be advised to remember that we've become partners." "You have let Lin Duk Coo slip away." "You have robbed me of my revenge." "In case you've forgotten something... we're in the narcotics business, and not the revenge business." "You've got the distribution pipeline setup from China... and I've got the best distribution outlet there could be." "I don't see that revenge has anything to do with it." "You are not of my culture." "Perhaps you should ask your father about the laws of silence... the omertà of the American underworld." "Perhaps he can explain revenge to you." "When they took him, they also robbed my bakery truck." "And in that truck was installed the first shipment of your China white." "Then you have much to do." "And I would suggest you not waste time standing here." "A new distribution network can be set up." "Lin Duk Coo, he helped American prisoners to escape from my concentration camp." "This cook who defied me must die." "GEN." "CHOW:" "You will accomplish this... or I will fill his grave with your body, Lt. Angel." "ANDERSON:" "Let's get out of here." "[Murdock and Lin singing]" "Do you have anything else at all?" "Hobbies." "Memberships, anything like that?" "Yeah." "Great." "Got it." "You're a doll." "Thanks." "[Both singing]" "Shut up, Murdock." "Don't wanna hear this fool singing." "Murdock." "All right, what do we know about our old war buddy, Lt. Thomas Angel?" "I think you're gonna like this." "His father is Big Tom Angel... the well-known underworld figure who's semi-retired in Arizona right now." "Now, Little Tom changed his name to Anderson about five years ago." "He's been running the family's dope operation out of here." "Nobody seems to be able to hang anything on him." "HANNIBAL:" "Golf, huh?" "AMY:" "Apparently he's a real nut about golf." "It's one of his few vices." "He plays out at Hillfair every afternoon with two of his gorillas." "HANNIBAL:" "No kidding." "Hannibal, I don't like it when you get that look." "The Colonel love it when plan come together." "You bet he does." "HANNIBAL:" "What do you think of his game, Joe?" "Can't hit a lick." " Nice shot, sir." " Thank you." "ANDERSON:" "Hey, come on, you guys." "Putt, will you?" "We're waiting out here." "Don, go down there and get those guys moving, will you?" "I said, come on, we're waiting." "Let's go." "I tell you, Face, my ball can talk." "It can." "DON:" "Come on, guys, hit the ball." "We're waiting up here." "Say something nice to Faceman." "[Squeaking]" "Lots of them can talk, Murdock, but can it sing?" "I haven't taught him any songs yet." "You guys wanna get off the green?" "Mr. Anderson's party's tired of waiting." "Company's coming, and you with nothing to wear." "Real funny, guys." "Well, if you don't like our jokes, let's try some business." "Just stand nice and still and say nothing." "Don, will you come on and get those guys to putt?" "Come on, move it!" "Okay, Joey." "Drop that belly gun on the ground." "What do you say, Lieutenant?" "Still selling other people's stuff like in Nam?" "Colonel?" "Colonel Smith." "We're ready." "HANNIBAL:" "Put your nose in the ground, Joey." "Hands behind your head." "Amy, grab that gun." "Get back inside." "Okay, kid, climb in." "We're gonna have a POW-wow." "You don't know what you're messing with, Smith." "Yes, I do." "I'm just impetuous." "I'm also nuts and trigger-happy." "So get in the van before I foam at the mouth and start blasting." "He'll be okay, pop." "[Squeakily] You think that we like being socked around this course?" "We don't." "This is a warning from the Golf Ball Liberation Front." "Leave my people be." "MURDOCK:" "Let's go!" "[Slow instrumental music]" "[Military instrumental music]" "It's all clear." "Go ahead, Face." "Post your guard." "Very clever, Colonel." "You were always neat with sort of unique kind of plans." " Let's just say I'm real impressed." " Let's say you're in trouble." "Wait a minute." "You guys are the ones in trouble." "By now you've surely found out who my father is?" "Yeah." "A big dope dealer." "And General Chow is a big dope supplier... who is looking for a way to get his junk into the U.S." "And then 10 years ago, in Nam... along comes Mr. Angel's little boy, Tommy... ends up in the General's POW camp." "The perfect solution for General Chow's U.S. distribution... and his daddy's wholesale business." "So, you sold out, didn't you, kid?" "The rest of the prisoners were eating cockroaches and grass... while you're in the General's headquarters eating smoked almonds... and having your nails buffed." "That was over 10 years ago, like you said." " Not even you'd hold a grudge that long." " Maybe he can't, but I can." "A lot of men died and you had the power to help them." "But you didn't." "So, we can square it for them right here." "We drop you in a hole and all debts are paid." "Hey, wait a minute." "You guys are better businessmen than that." "Come on, I know who you are." "I've read the newspapers." "You're hot and you need money." "What do you say, Colonel, if we just let Saigons be bygones... and make a deal?" " I'm not for sale, Lieutenant." " Sure you are." "Everyone's for sale." " You really believe that, don't you?" " Wait a minute." "You've got my bread truck, and you've got Lin Duk Coo." "I need them both." "ANDERSON:" "Why don't we make a deal?" "You turn them over to me... and I'll pay you $1 million cash money." "It's not enough." "You'll have to come up with something more substantial." "What do you got in mind?" "General Chow." "I can't do that." "He's not even in this country." "Lin says he is." "There're lots of ways of getting dope out of China." "General Chow is just one of them." "HANNIBAL:" "You're a smart kid." "You can come up with another supplier." "I can't buff your nails, but I can keep you alive." "I can't stay alive standing in this hole." "Give me time." "I'll have to talk to my father about this." "Give me your telephone number." "You got four hours." "Wait a minute." "You guys gonna leave me standing here?" " What happens if I double-cross you, sir?" " Hey, kid, you're not that swift." "HANNIBAL:" "I did some squirrelly things in Nam, and lived to tell about it." "You're like bread on a windowsill." "Mine, when I want you." "The only thing saving you is I want General Chow more." "[Tense instrumental music]" "Face, Amy, come on the run." "MURDOCK:" "Golf balls all over the world are ready for a new leader." "B.A.:" "Shut up, fool!" "I can't pull this muffler off with you jabbering in my ear." "MURDOCK:" "Sure." "You live in a nice hotel room." "MURDOCK:" "How'd you like to be stuffed in the side pocket of a golf bag?" "A hairy hand pulls you out and stands you on your tippey toes on a wooden tee... and you, not even fully awake yet." "And then, they pull out the club." "A club, B.A." "And they stand over you." "You close your little eyes while they winding up, B.A... and then they swing that club with all their might... hitting you in your little face, driving you off the tee, man." "Driving you off the tee!" "It's a golf ball, sucker." "Nothing but a golf ball." "You're driving me crazy." "Nothing changes." "You guys find anything?" "Take this fool back with you, Colonel." "Can't stand this golf ball liberation stuff." "There's got to be something valuable in this truck." "Hey, B.A., you're strewing stuff all over the floor here." "I mean, we have a maintenance policy in this building." "No messing the common areas." "This garage happens to be a common area." "Look, Face." "If I wanna mess up around here, I'll mess up." "Hannibal, you really think you're gonna find something in the truck?" "Little Tommy... offered us $1 million for this truck and Lin." "Now, my guess is there's some China white stashed in here." "[Car horn honking]" "STELLA:" "Mr. Toney, what on earth is going on here?" "I was planning..." "[Hammering]" "I was planning a little merci soirée for the people in the building." "Coffee and cake in the model." "And this fellow's bakery truck broke down." "Well, that's very sweet, but this is a common area." "I know." "I feel just awful." "You better get it cleaned up before Mr. Yerkovitch sees it." "I will." "Listen, are you busy Tuesday night?" "Ciao, darling." "[Car tyres screeching]" "Ciao." "This is the best deal I ever promoted, and you..." "[Hammering]" "Hannibal, do you mind?" "You guys are gonna get me thrown out." "How did you work this, Face?" "I mean, you never did tell us." "Mr. Toney's in Europe for three months, so he's never around." "I dropped by one day to see a model... and I just sort of never left." "Pretty soon, everyone was calling me Mr. Toney... and it's just a case of mistaken identity." "Well, that was fun." "I never cut up 40 loaves of bread before." "Hey!" "Hey, that's either well under done, or we found the stash." "I knew there was some junk in here somewhere." "[Serious instrumental music]" "Heroin." " I say, Mr. Toney." " Yes, Dr. Peters, isn't it awful?" "DR. PETERS:" "But this is a common area." "I'm really truly devastated by what's happened here." "HANNIBAL:" "See you later, Face." "FACE:" "Truly devastated." "ANDERSON:" "Hello." "HANNIBAL:" "Not bad, kid." "HANNIBAL:" "Inside the bread." "That's real clever." "Good way to ship it around the country." "I wondered what you were doing selling bread." "I figured you'd find out in time, old buddy." "There must be $10 million here." "Depending on how much you cut it." "Now, here's the deal, kid." "You tell General Chow to meet us at Indian Dunes tonight at 11:00." "Got any plans on how I'm supposed to deliver him?" "Yeah." "You tell him we have Lin Duk Coo... and we'll trade you Lin and the dope for General Chow." "I'm not sure that I can deliver that." "Sure you can, Tommy." "We're not talking breadsticks here." "We're talking $10 million of heroin, your entire distribution set up... and who knows, maybe 20 years in the federal slammer." "You think that's gonna work, just holding on like that?" "Depends whether or not it's connected to a switchboard." "OPERATOR:" "If you're through with this call, please hang up." "ANDERSON:" "This is the telephone company operator." "ANDERSON:" "Time and charges on that last call: $15.65 for 16 message units." "OPERATOR:" "This is the switchboard at Century Towers West." "Re-contact your party for those charges, please." "We're gonna pay Col. Smith a surprise visit." "Hannibal and the guys said you saved their lives in Vietnam." "That you risked your life to feed the American soldiers." "I'm not political." "Born in North Vietnam, forced to join army." "But I make bread, cook like angel." "So, General Chow makes me personal chef." "When he took over prison camp, I go, I cook." "You're really something, you know that?" "If you are a friend of A-Team... if they make you a member, then you really are something, I think." "And now for secret ingredient." "[Hammering]" "You're destroying the elevator." "Another common area bites the dust." "What are you doing?" "Look, man, Hannibal said he wants the truck to be armour-plated." "This is the only stuff I could find that would work." "Hello." "I'm redoing the interiors of the elevators... getting all this atrocious macho chic steel out of here." "Gonna put up flocked wall paper." "It's really lovely." "We'll be finished in a day or so, Mrs. Steiner." "So sorry for the inconvenience." "Can you please use the next car?" "Thank you." "[Adventurous instrumental music]" "It's always easier to look the other way, isn't it, Hannibal?" "Injustice is always rewarded with indifference." "Yeah, I guess so." "Murdock, when you seal these, be sure you get all the air out first." "Like, I mean... take the injustice of the golf ball washer." "MURDOCK:" "There it sits right next to the tee-off area... and all those naked little balls... are put into that torture chamber... and they are slammed up and down... the brush bristles clawing... into those little bodies..." "The Golf Ball Liberation Army, huh?" "We're organised, but undercapitalised." "Have you ever thought of a telethon?" " No." " You get Arnold Palmer as the host." "You get Slamming Sammy Sneed... to tote up the board and lament all those balls he's knocked the covers off." "That is a wonderful idea, Colonel." "Here you go, kid." "Ten packs of Sweet 'N Low." "Do you really think this is gonna work?" "The guy is really no dummy." "HANNIBAL:" "Only has to work for a minute." "It's a diversion." "[Singing] Come along boys Let me tell you a tale" "Let me tell you a tale Of the old Chisolm trail" "By Jove, I think you got it." "Sort of." "Not really." "Sorry." "[Adventurous instrumental music]" "Hey, B.A., don't sit down." "You'll get grease all over the sofa." "I don't live here." "I'm just a guest." "You ain't even a guest here." "Mr. Toney's come back, he gonna hit you with a lawsuit." "Not if he can't find me, he won't." "So we meet at 11:00 tonight." "Lin has to be there for the exchange right?" "Yeah, I'll be with Lin all the time." "We got about four hours." "I want this unit rested." "So everybody flake out for a while." " I'll take the bedroom." " Well, don't forget your jammies." "[Helicopter whirring]" "MURDOCK:" "What's that?" "HANNIBAL:" "Everybody hit the deck!" "Kill him!" "I want Lin Duk Coo dead!" "Okay!" "[Helicopter whirring]" "Sounds like they're landing it on the roof." " Murdock, that's your assignment." " Right, Colonel." "Take Lin and Amy with you." "Face, B.A., we got to get to that truck." "Let's go." "Is somebody shooting from a helicopter?" "Everybody get in your apartments." "Lock the doors and stay low." "Mr. Toney, what's going on?" "Hi, guys." "You're early, aren't you?" "You weren't supposed to meet us till 11:00." "Let's go." "In the elevator." "We got three of them." "Set her down and mop up." "SOLLY:" "Got it." "[Dramatic instrumental music]" "Stay up here, General." "We got three of them." "I'll be right back." " I want Lin!" " You got it." " Who are you?" " Over here, sweetie!" "All right, let's go get that chopper up on the roof." "HANNIBAL:" "We changed the keys." "Open this thing up or I'll waste you right here, old buddy!" "Who the hell do you think you're kidding?" "Wait a minute now." "You didn't look at the sourdough." "[Dramatic instrumental music]" "The van is armour-plated!" "You'll never penetrate it!" "Let's get out of here." "Come on." "[Whispering] Go back." "[Suspenseful instrumental music]" "[Gen. Chow groans in pain]" "[Dramatic instrumental music]" "ANDERSON:" "Let's go!" "Ay-yi-yi!" "The Golf Ball Liberation Forces are on the way." "[Adventurous instrumental music]" "Murdock's got him!" "They're coming back toward us." "Shoot for their tyres." "[Dramatic instrumental music]" "HANNIBAL:" "End of the line, Lieutenant." "All right." "Now, the dope is in the van." "See if you can find it before the cops get here." "We'll close our eyes and count to 100." "My father will have you killed for this." "You tell your daddy, if he makes me mad enough..." "I'll come down to Phoenix and wash him out." "Tell him to keep his head down." "I could be the postman... the guy who cleans his pool, or maybe even his golf caddy." "Mr. Toney." "What's going on?" "Who are these people?" "Dr. Peters, you'll find two men up on the roof." "One of them is a Vietnamese war criminal named Chow." "There's another guy tied up in the model." "Apologise to Mr. Yerkovitch for the damage to the building." "I'll try to make it good." "By the way, the walls to the elevators are in that bakery truck." "Well, I guess Sunday brunch is off." "Give my love to everybody." "Ciao." "I'll bring Lin down to the paper in just a little bit." "Right." "Thanks." "That's what being a reporter is all about." "Hitting up the big ones." "Thanks." "Bye." "Well, I'm glad something turned out good for somebody." "Hey, man, get your feet off my table." "The scuffmarks gonna mess up my finish." "How can you tell?" "Everything's fixed for Lin?" "They are coming down from the U.S. Embassy to meet us at the paper." "They've arranged for diplomatic immunity for him... and he's gonna be able to stay in the U.S." "Great." " Amy, could I talk to you for a second?" " Sure." "You know, Amy, you're gonna be a really big reporter... with a Vietnamese war criminal and an underworld kingpin's son... busted for trafficking in heroin." "I thought maybe you could, like... do a story on what's happening to golf balls because we need some heat... we need something to focus the world's attention on our plight." "And the Golf Ball Liberation Army is a nonviolent group." "Okay." "Maybe a human interest story chronicling life in a cellophane package." " A series, maybe." " Would you?" " Sure, anything to support a good cause." " Thanks." " Good news for me?" " That's right." "You're gonna get to stay in this country." "Amy's paper arranged it." "You're gonna get a chance to be a United States citizen." "I make fortune cookies, an old recipe." "A" " Team is my best friend, I think." " You saved my life." " No, you saved ours." "AMY:" "We got to get going down to the paper." "I'll call you guys." "What's it say?" "Well, it says, "I love it when a plan comes together. "" "[Theme music]"