""I REMEMBER"" "The puffballs!" "When the puffballs come, cold winter's almost gone." "When the puffballs soar, then winter's no more." "I've got the best one!" "Ciccio, let's go to the seashore." "In our town, the puffballs and spring arrive together." "These are puffballs that are drifting around." "Soaring over the cemetery, where all rest in peace..." "Soaring over the beach front and over the Germans, just arrived, who don't feel the cold..." "Drifting, drifting..." "Swirling..." "Swirling... swirling..." "Drifting, drifting, drifting!" "I'm the last of fourteen children by then my father had had enough, so he called me "Definitivo."" "Had he had enough sooner, there'd have been one less chatterer." "Good evening." "See you in the square." "I've come for my sister." "Is it too early?" "Your sister's here!" "Fiorella, I've finished, come in!" "I better calm you down, you horny beast." "What a body!" "The bonfire's bigger this year than it was last year." "Going to the bonfire tonight?" "What're you playing?" "I've composed a brand new tune." "Listen to this." "Now, Dad, we'll watch them light the bonfire, then off to bed." "The doctor says you must go to bed early." "The doctor's an asshole." "I'll go to bed when I please!" "You'll end up in the hospital, and this time I'll leave you there." "Blockheads!" "Numbskulls!" "Let me through!" "That's my place!" "You creeps!" "Let me through!" "Listen to this one!" "A father can take care of 100 kids, but 100 kids can't take care of one father." "That's the gospel truth." "I want to set off a firecracker." "You stay here." "Hey, Giudizio, catch!" "I can, I order and I want!" "Viva Giudizio!" "Volpina, have you made love today?" "How many men did you service?" "I bet you even dip a cock in your morning coffee!" "Here she is!" "You're the greatest, Gradisca." "Greta Garbo's got nothing on you!" "Let's go over there." "Ronald Coleman, we're over here!" "Giudizio, take this chair too." "Burn this one too!" "Put it on top." "Sit the old witch in it." "I'll stuff that chair down your throat!" "Take it home." "The old witch!" "The old witch is here." "Let me wed her before you burn her!" "What're you looking at?" "I wasn't looking." "Keep still!" "Don't look, otherwise you'll get too excited!" "Bring the firecrackers!" "Let's light the bonfire and burn the old witch." "Burn away, oh witch so old." "Burn the winter and the cold." "Here's spring!" "I don't have a match." "But your beloved has." "Viva the old witch!" "Viva Giudizio!" "I can, I order and I want!" "Where's the ladder?" "Want it?" "Take it!" "Want it?" "Take it!" "Hurry, I'm burning!" "In America, I saw bonfires 106 meters high." "When were you there?" "My parents are American." "I'll break your neck!" "You should hear what my father can do with his ass!" "Hurrah for spring!" "It gives me a funny feeling." "Does it you?" "Yes, but it's winter that's dying and spring is now here!" "I can feel spring all over me already!" "Our respects to you, milord." "Our respects to you, ma'am." "Our respects to you, little countess." "Drink a little, it'll do you good!" "Even your aunt's drinking, look!" "Good old Lallo!" "No one would know you're sixty." "Just take a look!" "Your brother really is an asshole!" "He's only a youngster!" "Now see the Malayan tiger leap!" "Be careful!" "You'll catch it when we get home." "The heel's come off." "He'll just have to do without one!" "Where's that other useless ass gone?" "Ciccio, throw the big bang on the fire!" "Off to bed with you!" "I'll put you all in boarding school!" "Here's Scureza di Corpolo~, "The Fart." Go to it, Scureza!" "Scureza di Corpolo~!" "Bravo!" "The origins of this town are lost in the mists of time." "In the Municipal Museum, there are stone implements..." "All the best." "My respects." "...that date back to prehistoric times." "I myself have found some graffiti of great age on the walls of caves in Count Lovignano's estate." "Be that as it may, the first certain date is 268 B.C." "when this became a Roman colony and the start of the Emilian Way." "Mr. Lawyer!" "This, too, is characteristic of the spirit of these people who have Roman and Celtic blood in their veins." "Theirs is an exuberant, generous, tenacious nature." "Dante, Pascoli, D'Annunzio and many others have lauded this land while innumerable are its sons who have contributed greatly to the arts, science, religion and politics." "Who are you?" "Trying to be clever, but too gutless to show yourself." "Come out and show yourself!" "I'll explain everything face to face." "Mr. Lawyer!" "Sure... sure." "Shut up, you delinquents!" "Shall we all take our places?" "If you insist, headmaster..." "But I never come out well in photographs." "You boys at the back... get on the bench!" "Now what, De Santis?" "It wasn't me, sir!" "Aldina!" "Doesn't it look like you?" "What's happening?" "Gigliozzi!" "Be seated!" "Put it down her neck." "Hold it like that, please." "What is this?" "A stone." "Y es, but what is it?" "I know, it's for a slingshot." "Is it an elephant's testicle?" "It is a pendulum." "You certainly all know a pendulum clock." "And how does it go?" "tick... tock..." "Where did Tiberius retire to when he gave up leadership of the Empire?" "To Capri." "When was Agrippina killed?" "69 A.D." "Why have you given me a zero?" "Wasn't it 69?" "It was 59 A.D.!" "Are you sure?" "What do you mean, sure!" "It was 59 A.D.!" "Oh, damn it!" "I knew it was!" "You'll drive me crazy!" "Get back to your seat!" "What have I done?" "Why couldn't it have been 69?" "There will come the day when a renewed Italy will take to the field of battle on her own behalf and not be defending her soil for others, with their weapons." "Universal, being Spirit incarnate in the State and cannot but enter into the true nature of the Church." "This reconciliation between State and Church occurred through a Demiurge which brought order to members of State and Church demanding iron discipline and the right to intervene in all aspects of individual life." "He is God's chosen Son because he has the same power as the Father." "Then there is the Holy Spirit to be placed on the same level as the Father and the Son." "Is that clear?" "This is why God is one and also a Trinity." "I'll speak about the great Giotto..." "Whose balls exploded like this!" "Do you know, boys and girls why Giotto is important in Italian painting?" "I will tell you." "Because he invented perspective." "Remember, per spec tive!" "Miss, can I leave the room?" "Bobo's let a real stinker!" "What do you mean?" "You're nuts!" "It's not true, I never fart!" "You do!" "You do!" "Alboin... signed the peace." "Gigliozzi!" "Outside!" "Now, this is not difficult." "Solve it." "Why have you stopped?" "You were doing fine." "What did you want to do?" "Give me a clue." "Pass it to me." "Just think a moment." "X9 plus the square root of K3." "It's so obvious!" "Move over." "What have you done here?" "We'll go through it together." "What is written here?" "What is written here, I say?" "You must know how to read!" "But I..." "Keep quiet!" "X9 plus the square root of K3..." "Here's the solution." "X1 = 140..." "X1 = 140..." "X2 = 3/5ths of the total, less the difference." "Is that clear?" "What have you done?" "Are you crazy?" "Janitor!" "Janitor!" "Greek is so beautiful, isn't it?" "You betcha!" "Don't you think it is so musical?" "Emarpszamen!" "Repeat after me." "Be quiet!" "Now try again." "Please, teacher, could you be so kind..." "Could I hear it again?" "Certainly." "Look:" "Emar pszamen." "Careful with the tongue... it must go here, against the palate... then spit it out." "Silence!" "Come on now." "Greek is so difficult." "How did you put your tongue?" "Not that way, between your teeth." "Like this?" "Right!" "Go back to your seat, damn it!" "I nearly got it, that time." "Who's that?" "It's Ciccio." "Leave me the butt." "Just one drag." "Is it true that Aldina's ripped up your poem?" "But, I've written another!" ""What a kind, gentle maiden art thou, Aldina." ""You set my heart beating like a steam hammer"" "It's pretty warm outside." "I prefer Aldina's mother." "Who'll be on the beach this morning?" "Fu Manchu!" "Volpina!" "Come here!" "What do you want here?" "I've lost my pussycat." "There's no cats here." "Go home." "It's hot, isn't it?" "Aren't you all hot?" "What an odd girl you are." "Come on now, go home." "There's no cats here." "Boss, "Mortar" has written another poem." "When do you manage to write these poems?" ""Mortar " let's hear this poem." "O.K., let's hear it." "What's its title? "Bricks"" ""My grandfather made bricks" ""My father made bricks" ""I make bricks too, but where's my house?"" "Bravo!" "I get your point!" "It's quite right." "But I, too, was once a poor man and I have gradually worked my way up to master builder." "You can't get everything at once!" "You have to be patient, you have to work." "By working, one can." "You must work." "Aren't we working?" "That's enough!" "No drinking before the soup!" "Where have you read that?" "It blows up the stomach." "I read it in the Sunday paper." "Keep your hands to yourself!" "There's a spoon missing." "Is it hot, Lallino?" "A little." "I want a lot." "You'll get your share." "Would you like some more, Lallo?" "There's some left, you know." "Is there enough salt?" "Yes, Grandpa." "Give him a little." "He's already eaten." "My father's father was known as "Big Meat"" "He lived to be 107 and he was still doing it!" "And so?" "And so then..." "When I was little, he taught me you have to eat at 11 in the morning before the sun burns your head, and at 4 in the afternoon, otherwise food's like poison that gets into your blood." "Aren't you eating?" "No!" "What have you done to her?" "Nothing!" "They've done nothing." "Bloody hell!" "Get up at 4 in the morning..." "Slave away all day like a mule." "Then come home to eat some bread and see a bunch of long faces..." "Well, now you'll see no more of them!" "Ma'am, it's time to take the boiler off." "What's the matter?" "Nothing!" "Well, eat something, then." "I don't want anything!" "Why?" "Because I don't!" "Shut the door, it's cold." "I'm still convalescent." "Who can it be at this hour?" "How would I know!" "Shall I see who it is?" "Y es, you go." "What do you think my bottom is?" "Holy water?" "Chicken always gets stuck between my teeth." "Can I have some more, Dad?" "A wing." "Stop there!" "I'll give it to you!" "Have you put mint in it, Miranda?" "No, not mint!" "Sage!" "But you realized there was something different, didn't you?" "Lallino has a good palate." "Gina!" "Who is it?" "Mr. Biondi." "He's the bishop's cousin, isn't he?" "What's all this?" "Anyone'd think I never fed you!" "Uncle, look!" "If your dad sees you...!" "Uncle, do that trick for us." "Come on, just once." "Look, Titta!" "Bravo!" "It's difficult, isn't it?" "Well, you know..." "Good wine, this Sangiovese." "Where were you last night?" "At the cinema." "What was on?" "The Americans were trying to get into Comanche territory and they'd built a bridge for the railway, but the Indians shot arrows at them from above." "It was a massacre, Dad!" "I'll massacre you, you little criminal!" "What's happened now?" "I didn't do anything!" "I'll put you in the hospital if I catch you!" "Aurelio, people are watching!" "Starting tomorrow, no more school, no more allowance." "He can start working with me!" "But will you pay me?" "With a hammer in the face!" "You have to tell me who fathered this piece of shit!" "At his age, I'd been working three years!" "Y eah, I know." "And gave all the money to Grandma!" "That's enough now!" "Let's all go and eat." "Good day to you." "Everyone in town laughs at us, even the roosters." "In my own home, I'll do as I please!" "Listen to His Royal Highness!" "Give me your brother's plate." "Put that plate down." "What has he done?" "I'll show you what he's done." "What has he done?" "What has he done?" "I don't know." "This is Mr. Biondi's hat." "He was at the cinema last night." "Just smell it." "Know who did that?" "That brat of a son of yours." "He pissed over the rail of the balcony, right on Biondi's head." "That cost me three bills!" "I'm sure it was those juvenile delinquents he hangs around with!" "That's enough!" "You've got to stop taking his side." "He's getting worse and worse!" "They're a pair of little criminals!" "You've educated them wrong!" "O.K., you do it!" "Let's see how well you do!" "I can't stand any more!" "I'm going crazy!" "I'm going mad!" "I'll kill the lot of you!" "I'll put strychnine in your soup!" "That's what I'll do!" "1... 2... 3..." "1... 2... 3..." "But I'll kill myself first!" "Right now!" "You'll see!" "I'll kill myself first!" "Uncle, look at Dad!" "Why does everything happen to me?" "What have I done?" "God damn it all!" "Have you hurt yourself?" "What are you doing on the floor?" "Good evening, headmaster." "There's Gradisca!" "Where is she!" "Over there..." "If you give the archbishop permission to sell holy pictures in the schools, we can settle the matter between us." "When are you showing "The Vale of Love" with Gary Cooper?" "Next week, my dear." "When can your little prince come to bed with you?" "You'll get my bag round your ear!" "Such behavior!" "Get lost, Giudizio!" "It was lovely..." "I really had a good cry!" "Romanesque, 13th century, perfect condition." "Mullion window..." "Excuse me, I'll continue later." "Lallo, read the telegram "White Feather" got from Stockholm." ""Come immediately, I cannot live without you." "Inge"" "Is she the bucktoothed one from last summer?" "Are you going?" "It'll be cold up there now!" "If I shot them, they'd call me a murderer!" "I'd throw them all in quicklime!" "Get the hell out of here!" "I couldn't leave Mamma behind for those buck teeth." "Look at Madam's new girls." "Just look!" "See that big one with the hat?" "I'm here!" "Here I am, too!" "With the sacred right of a place in the sun..." "He was a lovely man, a lot like Wallace Beery." "Do you remember?" "With that beard, he looked like a French duke." "That's a great load!" "Good night, King Vittorio, good night, everybody!" "This is the Victory Monument we used to visit everyday." "And I dreamt about it at night, too." "I'm going, Mamma." "Make a good confession." "If you've had a drink, you can't receive Communion." "You can drink, but you can't eat." "You can't drink either." "And tell him you're a delinquent." "That you make your parents angry... that you answer back." "And that you curse everything, understand?" "Who's the first?" "When did you last confess?" "Christmas." "Oh, lovely." "Do you go to mass?" "Not when I've got the mumps." "Do you honor your parents?" "Oh, yes." "Not like that!" "White flowers on one side, yellow on the other." "It's not the same thing, it's all matter of aesthetics." "Well, do you honor your parents?" "Oh, yes, but they don't honor me." "They beat me." "You must annoy them." "Do you tell lies?" "I have to." "Do you covet what belongs to others?" "The small flowers in the small vases." "What do you covet?" "My pal Bragger's got a raincoat with a lot of metal buckles" "like the one the detective has in the William Powell Myrna Loy films." "Do you commit impure acts?" "Do you touch yourself?" "Do you know Saint Louis cries when you touch yourself?" "Let him cry..." "I'm not going to say whether I do because you'll only tell Dad." "Don't say you don't touch yourself." "Can you avoid touching yourself when you see her at the tobacconist's as stacked as she is, when she says "Export brand"?" "And the math teacher who looks just like a lion?" "Madonna..." "How can you avoid touching yourself when she looks at you that way?" "What do you think we come to see on Saint Anthony's day when there's the benediction of the animals the sheeps' butts?" "See how he's looking at me?" "How can I tell him about Volpina when I fixed her bike tires." "Did you know people kissed that way, with tongues going in and out?" "I ask the questions, not you." "Go on." "Then, there's Gradisca." "Last summer," "I saw her going into the cinema." "Not because..." "You see..." "I'm crazy about Gradisca." "I want a wife like her." "She was alone." "She was there, in front of me." "I changed seats..." "I changed seats again... then again." "And finally..." ""Looking for something?"" "I sat there like an asshole." "I could have jumped in the harbor." "Father Balosa can't understand such things, so I said to him that I'd touched myself once, just a little, but I repented immediately." "He was happy with that." "He gave me three Our Fathers," "Hail Mary's and Glorias and that was it." "Three Our Fathers, Hail Mary's and Glorias." "Do you touch yourself?" "Just look at those rings under your eyes!" "Yes, you obviously do." "Yes, just once in the garage." "Keep still!" "Always touching me." "Jean Harlow!" "Gradisca!" "The tobacconist's tits!" "The girl at the circus!" "Which one?" "The one in the fishnet!" "Aldina!" "No, Aldina's mine!" "I'll smack your face!" "There he is!" "Comrades!" "Salute the Duce!" "We hail the Duce with grateful hearts and the Fascist salute!" "The greeting of lmperial Rome which shows us" "the path of destiny to be followed by Fascist Italy." "Let me touch him!" "I want to touch him!" "Viva il Duce!" "Ninety nine per cent of the population carry the party card." "We have 1200 Young Fascists, 3000 Young Italian Girls and 4000 Sons of the She Wolf." "A single Fascist heart but the work on the sea front needs hurrying up." "This marvelous enthusiasm makes us young but so old at the same time." "Young, because Fascism has rejuvenated our blood with shining ideals that are very ancient." "All I can say is..." "Mussolini's got two balls this big!" "Today, April 21st, we celebrate the birth of Rome, the Eternal City." "What does that mean?" "It means we must respect the monuments, the ruins that Rome has left us." "That is what I am doing, despite being razzed at night." "Why don't we see on this glorious sun filled day, the Italian sun, to which no one can apply sanctions, is a Divine sign that the heavens are on our side!" "Miranda!" "Who locked the gate?" "I did!" "Why?" "You know why!" "You've heard what's been going on in the piazza all day." "Open up, I have things to do!" "You're staying at home!" "If I want to be a widow, I'll kill you myself." "I'll strangle you with your neckerchief!" "Think I'm scared of those black shirted lice?" "Give me the key!" "Damn it all... why is it that whenever there's a meeting going on" "I have to stay home!" "That's the last straw!" "These youth are sturdy as rock!" "Y es, yes, sturdy as a rock!" "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven..." "Hail to the Duce!" "Young Fascist, Ciccio Marconi... do you wish to marry Young Italian, Aldina Cordini?" "And you, Young Italian, Aldina Cordini... do you wish to marry Young Fascist, Ciccio Marconi?" "Bravo, Ciccio!" "Camerati, they say bread and work, but wouldn't bread and wine be better?" "A Fernet..." "A coffee..." "Fernet!" "Just a soft drink." "For our "camerata the Federale"!" "Three cheers!" "Difficult shot!" "Difficult shot!" "Quite, Your Excellency, a difficult shot!" "I wouldn't like to go up against him!" "Who doused the lights?" "Attilio, light a candle." "Light the candle." "There's a gramophone upstairs." "What're you saying?" "Silence!" "That's the Internationale!" "What's the Internationale?" "The hymn of subversives." "Where is it?" "Where's it coming from?" "Where're you hiding, you miserable?" "It's incredible!" "Let's see you, you coward!" "We await your orders, sir!" "Everyone's to go home!" "Close the windows!" "Get inside you!" "Go home!" "What're you doing there?" "Get home with you!" "Hey!" "He's up there!" "He's in the bell tower." "To arms, to arms, to arms" "We are Fascists." "We fight against the Communists..." "You're free." "You can go home." "You see!" "The Fascists aren't all that bad." "They've not even harmed a single hair." "We almost offered you coffee as well." "Good night, sunny boy!" "Bring him here." "Take your hat off." "I'm sorry, it's a habit... even at home." "Why don't you use the Roman style of greeting?" "I didn't know it was mandatory." "I don't know anything about politics." "Sit down!" "So you don't know anything about politics!" "Y et you have been heard to say:" ""If Mussolini continues like this, I really don't know"" "What do you mean by "I really don't know"?" "I never said anything like that." "I generally only talk about my work." "Perhaps I said..." "I really don't know about politics, how it works..." "Is that a threat?" "Certainly not!" "Lack of faith in Fascism?" "No, why?" "Subversive propaganda, perhaps?" "No, there's no reason for it." "And you know nothing about the gramophone?" "The gramophone?" "Don't try to be a wise guy!" "Answer!" "They woke me from my sleep." "I didn't even have time to put my tie on." "Your tie or your anarchist's neckerchief?" "What neckerchief?" "Would you like to drink a toast to the victory of Fascism?" "Well, really at this time..." "At this time..." "You fools!" "Trying our patience in this way!" "You must drink to a Fascist victory, my friend." "We don't want to crack your skulls to make you understand that Fascism is for your protection, for your dignity." "Go to hell, you ignorant bunch of animals!" "This is castor oil." "Drink it!" "Why should I drink it?" "What have I done?" "What are you doing?" "Leave me alone!" "What are you doing?" "Be good!" "Open your mouth!" "Open your mouth!" "Don't make me angry!" "Drink it down, it'll do you good!" "Just look at the state he's in... a man of his age." "It's shameful!" "What're you doing, vomiting on my shoes?" "This is what saddens us, this utter refusal to understand." "Why?" "Why, I ask?" "There must be something wrong with your head." "Have some more... it'll clear your ideas!" "You'll pay for this!" "Well, just send us the bill." "Good Heavens, it's two o'clock!" "Aurelio!" "What's happened?" "You won't listen to me!" "You'll see!" "Get up..." "Dry yourself." "Don't catch cold." "Dad!" "Go to bed!" "God, what a stink!" "If the person who squealed is the one I think it is, he'd better move to another continent because I'll eat his guts I'll eat his balls!" "Traitorous son of a bitch!" "The Grand Hotel." "I call her the "Old Lady"." "I come here every year to sip the nectar of love." "I give kindness and I yearn for kindness." "I'm the only one in town to visit the Grand Hotel." "They say Gradisca was here once." "It was because of that highly improbable adventure that she came to be called Gradisca." "Her real name is Ninola." "But three years ago... one winter night..." "Don't let us down, Ninola!" "The Prince is a handsome man, you know." "If he looks like he's satisfied, mention the work on the harbor." "It'll only take a word from him." "Be polite, speak Italian." "He's a real prince, not just any old asshole." "It's a great opportunity for you, too." "The harbor." "Oh, Mister Prince, sir..." "Gradisca!" "(Whatever you desire)" "That's how Ninola came to be called Gradisca." "I don't think there's a lot of truth in this story." "Nor in the one that Biscein tells." "He's an inveterate liar." "He invents a new one each day." "A couple of years back... an Emir arrived with thirty concubines." "I saw him arrive." "The Emir locked all thirty rooms every night up tight." "That is quite true, but the rest of Biscein's story has holes in it." "The silly man claims that on that very night..." "Beans, olives, toasted melon seeds!" "Here I am, here I am, girls!" "Come on, Biscein!" "Sweet Jesus, the pussy!" "He claims that making no distinction between the beautiful and the ugly, he polished off 28 of them that night!" "Uncle!" "Are you Polish?" "Because only Poles have this fire in their eyes." "My uncle dances very well!" "Commander!" "Ladies!" "Then you must be Czech!" "Because only Czech women have this fire in their eyes." "I now Italian: "bellissima," "Buonasera" (good evening)" ""Michelangelo," "Fanculo" (fuck you), "O sole mio."" "Good evening." "Uncle!" "." "Uncle!" "." "Get out of here!" "." "Jesus, the waiter asshole... asshole... asshole." "Seen the sea?" "The sea?" "Come and take a walk with me." "Let's go!" "." "Leopardi wrote poetry." "Do you know Leopardi?" "No, this is my first time here." "Dante Alghieri here, Leopardi here, or even here!" "." "Oh, good!" "Skol!" "How did it go?" "Fine, it's always a pushover with Germans." "She's really fallen for me." "And to prove it, she even offered me posterior intimacy." "Uncle!" "Uncle!" "Uncle Teo was Dad's brother." "We went to take him for a ride every month, in the summer." "He's coming." "He's coming." "Hello, Uncle!" "How are things, Teo?" "He's happy, Mamma." "He's looking well." "Yes, he's looking well." "Watch your step." "How are you?" "And how are you?" "I'm fine, I go to school." "Guess where we're taking you today?" "To eat "passatelli" at the farm." "What do you think of that?" "Look, Dad's here too." "He's a lovely lad!" "Give Dad a kiss." "How's he?" "He's normal." "He's grown, hasn't he?" "He's in the fifth grade." "And he got dead drunk the other night." "How are you keeping?" "I'm much better." "Mamma, the pastries!" "Uncle, Mamma brought you pastries." "We'll be back before evening." "Have a smoke on me." "Is Father Pazzaglia still alive?" "He's been dead ten years now." "He's been gone quite a time!" "He was alive last year." "That was Father Amadeo." "Is he dead as well?" "No, he's alive." "Exactly, that's what I was saying." "I saw him last year, walking along with a bunch of flowers." "I wonder where he was going?" "Teo was a bright lad when he was eight." "I don't want to offend you, Aurelio, but Teo was smarter than you at school." "I grant you that." "That's quite true." "He still is, even now." "Do you like being with us, Teo?" "Uncle, the sea's over there." "It's like a blue streak." "Dad, can I drive the horse?" "No!" "What can I do just sitting here, then?" "Let me drive it!" "That'll be the first time a horse was driven by a mule!" "That's a shorter road." "An awful road, full of potholes, enough to take this carriage." "Is something wrong?" "Why do you carry those in your pocket?" "These stones!" "Aren't they heavy?" "They're beautiful, stones are." "Stop the carriage!" "Teo needs to take a leak!" "If he has to..." "Watch how you get down." "You too?" "Don't be long, Grandpa, I'm hungry." "My father's father used to say:" "to be fit as a fiddle, you have to piddle!" "To be fit as a frog, pee often like a dog." "How green!" "How beautiful, Teo..." "How old's the mare?" "Three years and two months." "She's only got one vice, she can't stand train whistles." "When I'm at the station stand, it's really a job to hold her!" "What'll you give her to eat today?" "Cappelletti (pasta)." "You forgot to unbutton your fly!" "Uncle pissed in his pants!" "They said he was normal!" "You didn't undo your fly!" "He forgot." "It's really true." "The sea looks like a blue streak." "You pissed in your pants!" "Shut up!" "He didn't open the shop!" "It doesn't matter, you can change at the farm." "Come here, or I'll throw myself under the wheels!" "Sit down, you criminal!" "Shall we move on?" "Ah, that was a fine meal!" "You all go and see the spring." "My son Teo and I will stay here and have another glass of wine." "Fine, but just one and no more." "Know what I'll do?" "I'll have a nap." "Good." "It won't do you any harm here in the shade." "The eggs's lovely, isn't it, Teo?" "Me too." "When I see an egg, I could look at it for hours." "I ask myself how Nature manages to make things so perfect." "God made Nature, not an ignorant lout like you!" "Oh, don't bust my chops!" "See you later here." "I'm relying on you, Dad." "Menghino, how far away is this spring?" "Uncle, look, I'm hypnotizing it." "Oliva, there's a toad!" "It looks like Father Balosa!" "What's it like?" "Fantastic!" "It won't give you a hangover." "We'll put it here." "Throw that stone away!" "You naughty little boy!" "I know what your name is, you delinquent!" "Dad, Uncle Teo's up a tree!" "What's that?" "What's he shouting?" "I can't understand." "Uncle Teo's up a tree!" "I want a woman!" "I want a woman!" "But where am I going to get you a woman, my boy?" "Uncle's up there." "I want a woman!" "There he is, up there!" "Come down, Teo, you'll hurt yourself." "Quickly, get a ladder!" "Is this how you keep an eye on him?" "How did he get up there?" "I'll go up." "I'll hammer you into the ground." "How did he get up there?" "If he falls he'll break every bone." "You go indoors and stop playing the actress." "How did he do it?" "We were having a drink, and like a shot..." "He was away and up there like a cat." "What're you doing?" "Throwing stones at your old dad!" "That's enough, now!" "Now, now!" "Don't you do the same!" "Come down, Teo, your brother's angry." "Come down, now!" "I WANT A WOMAN!" "It's quite a normal urge." "He's 42!" "Yes, but he'll fall down." "When I was 42..." "I'll tell you!" "Now, that's enough, Teo!" "Climb down, Teo!" "Good shot, Uncle, right on his head!" "Right on the target." "Now, I'll come up, but don't throw anything at me!" "We'll take some birds home." "Do you want to kill us all?" "Now, I'm coming up." "Y es sirree!" "If you throw one at me, you'll hear about it!" "What a shot!" "Murderer!" "I hope somebody kicks you in the nuts!" "Christ, what'll I do now?" "Jerk off?" "I'm an asshole, a stupid asshole." "Well, let's all go home!" "Driver, hitch up the horse, we're going home!" "Are you going to leave him up there?" "Yes!" "Hitch up the horse." "Let's go!" "As you wish." "Dad!" "Titta!" "Call your mother!" "Where's your mother?" "Leaving him there?" "He's all right up there." "Let's go!" "I want to go home." "But he's my son!" "Aurelio, listen to me." "I want a woman!" "Miranda!" "Teo, we're going." "Come down!" "We're just pretending." "Listen, Aurelio..." "Send me up there." "He'll come down." "Everyone in the carriage!" "We're leaving right away." "Get in." "Teo, what're you doing?" "Staying there?" "We're going now." "It's late." "It's getting dark." "Who'll take you back?" "You going to stay up there?" "All right, then, ciao!" "Come down!" "Teo, Holy Mother of God!" "Are you going to come down?" "We're leaving!" "Good bye, Uncle!" "He'll kill the lot of us, today." "Come on, let's have you all out!" "Get out, now!" "No questions!" "What're you crying about?" "Now, you drive to the hospital and call the attendants." "And come back right away, or I'll throw myself down the well!" "What're you crying about?" "It's a big laugh, it's just comic!" "Listen to him, Miranda." "Poor lad." "Do you feel better?" "I want a woman!" "I can't stand any more!" "Make him shut up!" "I've had enough!" "Dad..." "Dad..." "What do you want?" "Shall I go and call Volpina?" "Look, Dad." "Mamma, they've arrived." "Good evening, Doctor." "What's happened?" "He's up the tree." "Nice place." "Fresh air." "All yours?" "It's only an old farm." "He's been up there for five hours." "You can't see him now, because of the foliage." "What have you done to him?" "Nothing." "He's been shouting and throwing stones." "I hope he won't always be like this... his whole life, Doctor." "A dwarf nun!" "It'll be bad for him and worse for us." "Keep cool, she'll attend to things." "Were you getting a bit of air?" "Is she going up?" "Come down!" "I'm not going to play these damn silly games!" "Jesus, just look at that!" "She's got him to come down!" "She's got him down and he's quite happy." "Teo, Teo..." "Here he is." "So, have you been up to your tricks again, have you?" "What were you doing up there?" "Counting how many stones fig trees grow in this season." "Take him home." "Some days he's normal, some days he isn't... just like all of us." "Ciao, Uncle!" "Titta, take care." "You can see Gigino's place from up there." "It's a long time since I saw him." "Between 11 o'clock and midnight, in Caghetta's boat." "It's thirty stories high and has sixteen smokestacks." "Think what a pirate could do with a ship like that!" "Where's "Ronald Coleman"?" "I don't see him." "Gradisca!" "Hurray for Gradisca!" "Hello, sister." "Your steamboat." "Climb aboard!" "Where're all these people going?" "Where're they going with hearts all pounding?" "Where're they going?" "Today is a very important day for our country, for our fatherland..." "Come on, we're off!" "If you drop me, you'll have to pay for it all." "I'd like to tell you, but I can't because it's all still in the air." "Where're these people going?" "How far out will it be?" "Eight kilometers." "But thanks to Galileo, it will seem like 400 meters to us." "Marvelous!" "It'll seem like it's coming straight at us." "Mr. Lawyer, how much will it weigh?" "About two and a half times the weight of the Grand Hotel." "Plus the Arch of Augustus!" ""Go thou, Queen of the Sea" ""Thou passeth and thy destiny" ""I shall follow in the waves" ""Watching the glistening wake..."" "Get closer to your mother, and you move nearer to your son." "Suck me off!" "The water's really freezing!" "My nuts has shriveled to the size of two dried beans." "You swam out?" "Sure!" "I did the Australian crawl." ""I want to dance with you" ""All night like this..."" "The third day I went there with my boat, whistled as usual and out came the dolphin." "It looked at me and said "mamma"!" "What a load of bull!" "Dolphins are intelligent, my dentist told me so." "Look how many there are." "Millions and millions and millions of stars." "Jesus Christ, you guys!" "I wonder how the whole lot stays up there in place?" "It's pretty simple for us." "If we have to build a house, so many bricks, so much lime..." "But up there, Sweet Jesus!" "Where do you put the foundations?" "They aren't just confetti, you know!" "Are you asleep?" "Answer me!" "Are you cold?" "Want my jacket?" "Come on, take my jacket." "Put it round your shoulders or you'll get a chill and complain." "We've still a long time to wait, haven't we?" "It's one o'clock." "How would I know?" "They said it'd be around midnight." "Even if it's late, it's coming from America, you know." "Go fuck yourselves, all of you!" "He's a friend..." "He sent you best wishes." "Every time I was full of hope, but it never came to anything." "And now..." "Know how old I am?" "Fifty two?" "I'm not ashamed to tell the truth." "In fact, I always add a few years on." "I'm thirty." "That's surprising, my darling." "I haven't given up hope." "I thought you were seventeen age." "I want one of those long encounters that last a lifetime." "I want a family, children, a husband to chat with in the evening at supper, maybe, and to make love with now and then, because that's important too." "But affection is perhaps even more necessary than love." "I'm so full of affection." "But who can I lavish it on, who wants it?" "Why are you crying?" "Look at the silly girl, she's crying!" "The girl is delicate and sensitive, oh yes!" "She's right!" "Men are all the same!" "Don't cry, my darling!" "Here it is!" "Dad, Dad!" "The Rex!" "The Rex!" "Hurray for the Rex!" "The greatest thing the regime has built!" "As the representative of the Podesta, I wish you a safe journey!" "Long live ltaly!" "What's it like?" "What's it like?" "Just look at this!" "Can't see a darned thing!" "I'll keep to the wall." "The last fog like this was in '22." "Careful now, stop." "There's a man here!" "Well, damn it all." "Gina!" "Gina!" "Where am I?" "I don't seem to be anywhere." "If death is like this, I don't think much of it." "Everything's gone." "People, trees, birds, wine..." "Up yours!" "Dino, I can't even find my house." "Where am I?" "You are in front of your house." "It's there..." "Where're you going in all this fog?" "To school." "Ciao, Grandpa." "Just think of that." "I was in Norway." "Two women... beautiful, huge, Norwegians!" "Beans, olives, toasted melon seeds..." "It's open, you can get in." "Last one in's a queer!" "Naso, get an eyeful of this." "It's gorgeous!" "Where are you, my love?" "It was number 18. 18..." "Campari." "Aldina, do you want to know who it was?" "We know, it was Campari." "I knew him in the race at Monza." "Aldina!" "Be careful, Lallo!" "What is it?" "An ear." "Look, an ear!" "Can I come in?" "I'm closed." "Can I come in, miss?" "What do you want?" "A cigarette." "Can I help you?" "You couldn't manage." "What do you mean?" "I can lift 80 kilos." "I can even lift my father." "What do you weigh?" "I don't know." "I could lift you, too." "Let's see you." "I really can." "Let's see." "You silly boy, put me down, let me go!" "You're strong!" "I'll lift you again." "Now that's enough." "What're you doing?" "You'll let me fall!" "You mad thing!" "Put me down, that's enough!" "You'll let me drop, you crazy boy!" "You really are mad..." "What's happened to me?" "My head..." "See how many times I did it?" "Yes, my little darling..." "Come here... you really are nice." "Drive me crazy, just a little." "What should I do?" "Suck!" "Come on..." "You can have this one, too..." "Don't blow!" "Suck!" "Is this right?" "Yes, darling, yes!" "You have to suck, you idiot!" "I can't breathe!" "Let me alone." "Get out, now, I've got to close up." "What was it you wanted?" "A cigarette?" "I'll give you one." "Now, beat it!" "I can't manage it." "Come on, get out!" "Good night!" "Drink it." "It'll do you good." "It's hot!" "It has to be hot." "There's a fly." "Where is it?" "It was there." "The only house with flies in winter..." "How did it happen with you and Dad?" "What?" "How'd you meet, fall in love, get married?" "What's all this about?" "Anyway, who remembers!" "Your dad's not a great one for compliments." "He was a laborer at Saludecio, my folks had a bit of money and they didn't think much of him..." "Well, we eloped without saying a word to anyone." "When did he give you your first kiss?" "What kind of a question is that?" "I don't even know whether there was one." "The first time, he raised his hat, and that's all." "It was the most one could do in those days." "It's not like now, when all kinds of things go on." "But I never manage anything." "Stay covered, you're all sweaty." "What do you mean "manage," and you still in short pants?" "Well, get me some long ones then, like the other kids!" "What others?" "Gina!" "She told me I wasn't to send any more love letters." "Go and ask the doctor to come as soon as he can." "Get him to examine you at the same time." "Run along..." "But I'll send letters just when I like." "In Africa!" "I'll become a doctor and go to Africa!" "That'll teach her!" "It's snowing outside!" "It's true, it's snowing!" "Professor Fighetta, up yours!" "If it goes on like this, there'll be no school for a few days." "The mountains are all white." "Let's go and see the snow on the sea." "It's wet, it won't stick." "Go away!" "Get the hell out of the way!" "Stop there!" "The sparrows!" "Wait, I'll come with you." "Titta!" "Look how it's coming down!" "Let's open the window." "Lovely!" "Me too!" "It's still snowing!" "Four days this goddamn stuff's been around!" "This will go down as the Year of the Big Snow." "Since the last Ice Age, it never snowed so heavily in our town." "That must've been a boy, not the other person." "As I was saying... the exceptional years were 1541... 1694..." "1541... 1694... 1728... 1888..." "1728... 1888... when oddly enough, it snowed on July 13th." "Where's she?" "How's your mother?" "Better now." "She's still in hospital, but she's off the critical list." "That's good, poor woman." "Give her my regards." "Your mother's a kind lady." "She always gave me soup and wine." "She's good..." "How are you feeling?" "I've brought you some flowers." "Thank you." "How are you?" "Hello, Aurelio." "They're lovely!" "I was just looking out, now I'll go back to bed." "But I'm feeling better today." "What lovely colors!" "Are you hot, with this?" "Have you eaten?" "Yes." "Are you still annoying your father?" "He whips so hard!" "I'll finish up, stupid!" "There's a nice garden here, I didn't know." "It looks as though it's in bloom, with the snow." "It's still snowing." "In one way you're lucky to be here warm in bed, with this weather." "He's tired, poor man, when he gets home." "You shouldn't answer back, you're a grown up now." "Don't throw ice!" "It hurts!" "Wind and rain, go home again." "I don't want to feel the pain." "Idiot!" "No!" "A quite difficult shot, Excellency!" "No!" "Not at Gradisca!" "No!" "Enough!" "I give up!" "If you break my windows, I'll break your skull!" "Who is it?" "What is it?" "Look, it's the Count peacock!" "There it is!" "It's coming down!" "Shall we catch it, boys?" "I don't understand." "What's happened?" "I'll tell you in the car, Uncle." "Why in the car?" "Where're we going?" "Quite near." "To Aunt Zaira's farm." "A relative's come from America and wants to say hello to you." "Well, why doesn't he come here, then?" "Who is this relative?" "My aunt is dead." "Bear up." "No, don't do that..." "Open up!" "No, I won't!" "Lallo!" "He's fainted." "Dad, Uncle's feeling poorly." "Take him to the whorehouse, then!" "Make the sign of the cross." "How do you feel now?" "Better!" "Don't take it so hard... be strong!" "Now everybody in line." "Where're the orphans?" "Stop that!" "Hurray for the bride and groom!" "Give me your arm, Naso." "Make way, make way, my breasts are full of milk!" "I raise my glass to the newly weds and say..." "May bride and groom find marriage glowing in Battipaglia." "When you're drunk, you can even rhyme!" "Gradisca's getting married and going away!" "We're sorry if we made you angry, and we hate to see you go!" "You'll miss us badly!" "Silence is golden, but words are silver." "May this married couple live happily ever after!" "Where's the bride?" "Our Gradisca is going away because she's found her Gary Cooper." "It's true that Gary's cowboy, while Matteo is a carabiniere but love's always love." "Good luck, Gradisca!" "Long live the bride and groom!" "You have crowned your dream of love." "Now it's your duty to have many children." "For your family, for the church and for your country!" "Now we're all together... one more toast before we leave." "Photograph!" "Photograph!" "Now we'll take the photograph." "A mirror!" "Everybody get behind the bride!" "She's lovely, our Ninola!" "Why're you crying?" "I'm not, now." "Get closer together." "The carabiniere must move back a little." "Stand in the light." "Hold it!" "It's raining." "Smile." "O.K., O.K. Another one." "Don't fall all over us, you drunken lout!" "Gangway!" "Let's move into the sun, the bride in the center." "Ready for a photo?" "I've made up another rhyme that goes like this." "Though the world may be full of beautiful things" "Full of towns that are attractive, even more than here," "A drop of water'll be good for you... you'll get a bath." "Get up!" "It's stopped raining, sit down." "Play!" "A wet bride is a lucky bride!" "Viva I'Italia!" "How will you live, so far away from here?" "Good bye to you all!" "Go home!" "Biscein bids you good bye!" "Naso, I'm going home!" "Wait for me, I'll come with you!" "My bouquet!" "Wait!" "Good bye!" "I love you all!" "Gradisca's going!" "She's leaving!" "Good bye, Gradisca!" "The puffballs!" "Titta!" "Nasso!" "Where's Titta?" "Shall we go fishing in the harbor?" "Titta's went away some time ago."