"How'd you get him to do that?" "I asked." "Very clever." "He was surprisingly eager..." "Eager is a good thing." "Uh-huh..." "You're staring." "Uh-huh..." "No, I'm not." "I'm supervising." "I see what you're supervising." "It's like an apple." "You could bounce a quarter off that apple." "Apples are good for you." " Hi." " Hi." "Sure is hot." "Sure is." "You want something to drink?" "I don't recommend the tap water." "What was the stuff that came out of your faucet that made you cry?" "I think it was mud, actually." "At least I hope it was mud." "I have bottled water." "Bottled would be great." "I'll get it." "You two continue the mating ritual." "So when do I get to come over and watch TV?" "Oh, I don't know." "I just have the one TV and it's very small." "That's okay." "We can sit close." "Head's up." "Thank you." "Welcome." "We can sit close." "So close..." "So close..." "Your man-sweat is like honeymustard glaze on my tongue." "Inappropriate touching." "This isn't fun for anybody." " Stop it." " You stop it." "I haven't started anything." "That's what I'm talking about." "You should stop the not starting and start something already." "He's married." "To a philandering strumpet." "Those sorts of marriages get annulled." "I can't be in a relationship right now." "I have... issues." "Who doesn't?" "I'm going through a "me" phase." "Going through?" "Leave me alone." "Why can't I just be celibate?" "Um... because you like boys." "And this boy is ready for you .........." "But look at him." "He's smitten." "Smitten and eager are bad." "You know what you get with smitten and eager?" "Romance." "Relentless, treacly, manufactured romance." "And that kinda romance never ends well." "Darling!" "Girl needs a boy." "What'd you say?" "Girl needs a boy." "What girl needs is to get in the door before the badgering starts." "That's what girl needs, 'kay?" " Girl needs..." " ...coffee." " Girl needs a..." " Girl might actually find time" " to have a boy if you'd ever shut up." " ...a donut." "Girl needs a donut." "Finally something sensible." "Hi." "Hi." "I was just coming to see you." " You were?" " Yeah." "I brought you donuts." "Those donuts?" "She was starving." "So you were bringing me... and then she's here... and now they're all... and she is..?" "Her name's Katya." "From Russia." "I was passing by and a little voice told me I should probably stop and check on her." "Voice?" "There was a voice?" "You know, that little voice inside." "Oh!" "Right." "The little voice." "Inside." "She looked like she needed help." "Interesting..." "I guess she's been here all night." "She slept at the fountain?" "Fountain of love." "I meet my Peter." "I marry." "But he no come." "Peter got a phone number?" "No phone." "But he make me letters." "All e-mail print outs." "No last name." "No physical address..." "You think she's one of those Russian mail order brides?" "You know... sex slave." "No sex slave!" "I coming for love!" "And some sex." "But no slave!" "This is so sad." "Still hunger." "And another order of Buffalo wings." "Taste like chicken, yes?" "Yeah." "Funny right?" ""Never break this spell I'm under, every thought of you is wonder."" "I think I just threw up a little in my mouth." "I dunno..." "I think it's kinda sweet." "Anyway, we're supposed to be looking for clues, not critiquing the lovelorn." "Okay, but I gotta ask." "I mean, I sort of get why you'd give her my donuts." "And even springing for the all-you-can eat wings." "But even if we do find this guy, there's gotta be a reason he ditched her." "Why would you want to get involved in something so potentially messy and complicated if you don't have to?" "Because she makes me sad." "Are you attracted to her?" "If I were attracted to her I wouldn't be trying to find the guy she's in love with, would I?" "Oooh." "Good answer." "Is this because of Heidi?" "Heidi?" "Yeah." "Your wife." "I know who Heidi is." "Why would it have anything to do with Heidi?" "It'd explain why you're so big with the empathy." "Hell, you only had to drive in from New Jersey to be betrayed and dumped on your honeymoon -- that poor woman came all the way from Asia Minor and never even got to have the wedding." "I'm over Heidi." "But I have been in love, if that's what you mean." "Well, yeah." "Who hasn't?" "Have you?" "Have I what?" "Been in love?" "Ggggyyyy-yeah." "Sure." "I think so." "You think so?" "I've had boyfriends." "Lots." "Yeah, but you've never really been in love." "You don't know that." "It would explain why these letters make you cringe -- it's like a language you haven't yet learned." "Actually, I think it's a language the author hasn't yet learned." "He seems to think "nuptial" rhymes with "cupful."" "Well, when it happens to you, when you finally open yourself up to it, you just know it." "In your bones." "What do you mean "open myself up to it?"" "You are a little closed off." " I'm not closed off." " Little bit." "I thought maybe it was because you'd been hurt." "But since you've never been in love..." " I've been hurt!" " Okay." "And I'm not closed off." "I'm open." "Open for business." "I'm just not actively... active right now because my life is so... full." "Solve the mystery, or should I have Pedro slaughter some more chickens?" "We're still working on it." "Better work quick." "You do know this girl's supposed to get married at six at the Fountain of Love?" "That's where we found her." "She thinks people get married at the fountain." "The "Fountain of Love" is a chapel down on Rainbow Boulevard." "Ohhhh... that "Fountain of Love."" "Can you believe this place?" "No." "Is too beautiful." "Hi." "We're here about a wedding?" "'Course you are." "Katya here is...um... she's the, you know the one who's..." "Katya here's the bride and we're wondering if the groom's arrived." "His name Peter." "Peter got a last name?" "They're on a first name basis." "Six o'clock." "What've you got on the books for six o'clock?" "The six o'clock was canceled." "Cancel?" "!" "?" "No cancel!" "Yes cancel." "Stop payment was put on the credit card charge last night." "Ya think we could get an address and phone number of the cardholder?" "Our privacy policy is very strict." "How 'bout just a last name?" "Come on." "She's his fiance." "Then she should have his contact information." "And if she doesn't it's probably for his own safety." "How bad I'd feel if I gave you his address and you went and killed the sonofabitch?" "Real bad." "Eric!" "Nobody panic." "I've seen this a million times." "That was awesome." "You did the whole vapors thing and dropped." "It got a little Don Knotts with the eye-rolling but other than that, very real." "That was real?" "I'm sorry..." " Last time I was in one of those was..." " Heidi?" "I wasn't expecting..." "I really am over her." "You seem over her." "Is beautiful." "I always dream of such a house... split-level revival with French modern influence... da?" "Yeah." "Nice pad." "I change my mind." "Like he did." "W hat?" "Maybe he come and see I no great prize." "That'd be impossible." "You're adorable." "Katya, this is something you have to do -- if you don't ring that bell, it could haunt you." "He's right." "If you don't face this now, you'll be eating chapel floor the rest of your life." "That wasn't a reference." "I not know..." "He owes you an explanation." "And airfare." "He owes you airfare." "He no wants me, he rejects me." "He cancel credit card." "Fine." "If he canceled after he brought you all the way over here, then he's damn well gonna explain why." "Don't you want that?" "Don't you think you deserve that?" "Ring bell." "Hi." "We're looking for Peter Johnson." "I'm Peter Johnson." "The other Peter Johnson." "There isn't one." "I'm Peter." "And you must be Katya... my darling." "Oh no." "I need bigger Peter." "My darling Katya, I would never have missed our nuptials, except I got grounded." "What are you, like five?" "Sixteen." "Fifteen." "Fourteen." "On my next birthday." "He tiny boy." "I'm so sorry, my darling." "If only I'd cashed in a bond and not used my dad's credit card," "I'd be married now instead of grounded." "But in jpeg you send, you man, not unripe dumpling!" "I used photo-imaging software to age myself." "It's how I will look... in twelve to fifteen years." "But you -- you look even better than your jpeg." "I send you most intimate photographs!" "I know." "I made them into my desktop wallpaper." "Can't you get her to stop?" "She just found out the man she loves doesn't exist." "Her heart's broken." "This is what happens." "People cry." "I cried for three days." "Okay." "You were right." "I guess I've never been in love, because the only time I ever made a noise like that" "I'd had some bad fish." "Love doesn't always sound like that." "You have to be willing to risk the heartache if you want the good stuff, right?" "Uh, I'm pretty sure there's lots of "good stuff" you can get without all that." "Sure." "But if you want to be close to somebody... really close... you have to open yourself up." "Like a wound?" "You have to drop the defenses." "I don't have defenses." "No." "You have offenses." "Don't you ever wish you had someone you could just be yourself with?" "I'm not sure who that is yet." "But wouldn't it be interesting to find out?" "I want to home." "I want to Russia." "I all alone." "I have no one." "All of us are alone." "Essentially." "You no alone." "You have Eric the great for boyfriends." "No boyfriend, not boyfriend." "Just boy." "Just friend." " Not a couple." "There's no coupling " " I think she got it." "We all did." "You alone too?" "Yeah." "See?" "All of us are alone." "We're all of us here, together alone." "Katya!" "Katya!" " Keep it running!" " Get out of here!" " I came to collect my wife!" " Leave!" "Shoo!" "No shoe." "And definitely not those shoes." "Come away with me to my cabin!" "Our magical hideaway where you'll always be safe and pampered." "All your desires will forever be met." "Come, Katya." "Come!" "Yeah!" "What she said!" "Let me have my bride!" "This kid doesn't need a bride, he needs a talking to." "Someone needs to explain to him what it means to be a man." "Can't expect a guy to do that." "Here." "Forty thousand channels." "Welcome to America." "We'll be back." "At Josh Poskanzer's bar-mitzvah the Rabbi proclaimed he was a man, and he turned thirteen six months after I did." "That doesn't make him a man." "That's a symbolic rite of passage." "A thirteen year-old isn't ready for the responsibilities that come with starting an adult relationship." "I did everything I was supposed to do." "I found a woman, paid for her, I intended to marry her and provide my family's luxurious cabin on the lake in Chautauqua." "I'm ready." "I love her." "I burn for her." "You lied to her." "You didn't tell her who you really were." "She knows who I am now." "She doesn't want you." "See what happens when you tell the truth?" "Sorry." "Continue." "Tell him the part about how getting involved in a relationship like heaving after bad fish." "Um, that wasn't my observation, that was yours." "Oh." "Well, tell him the thing about love being like an open wound." "Also yours." "Oh." "Peter, for your own good: don't go after a woman who isn't interested." "They'll just make you crazy." " What's that supposed to mean?" " Just giving the kid some advice." "That's not advice." "That's thinly veiled sub-text." "Whether she's interested or not isn't the point " " So you think maybe she is?" " Shut up." "He's thirteen!" "He's practically a zygote." "That's the only argument you need to make." "I'll be fourteen in a month..." "See?" "He's willing to wait." "Don't wait, Peter." "She doesn't want you." "You're only setting yourself up to be tortured." "Actually, Peter, "torture" would imply some kind of malicious intent on her part, and I don't see it." "You'd be torturing yourself." "So you can't really blame her." "No one said anything about blame." "If it's not there, it's not there." "Nothing you can do about it." "And sometimes it's there, but there're just larger, more insurmountable obstacles " "Something can't be "more" insurmountable." "Either it's surmountable or it's not." "Point is, obstacles." "The only really insurmountable obstacle would be her disinterest." "Or not." "You know what?" "I agree with your girlfriend -- there's a chance she's interested." "Your boyfriend's right, it's not insurmountable." "I wanna thank you both." "Nice job." "Hi." "Maybe I wasn't getting my point across back there." "Here's the remedial version:" "Stay the hell away from Katya." "She didn't pack up her whole life and leave everything behind so she could be with an embryo." "She wants a man." "A real man." "My god, you've got fire." "It's gonna burn you unless you stay away from her." "Leave her alone." "Forget about her." "I've forgotten about her already..." "Good." "Every time you start to think of her, think of me instead" " and my burning fire, got me?" " Uh-huh." "Burning fire..." " Who are you forgetting about?" " I don't remember." "Keep it that way." " Are you in the mafia?" " What are you talking about?" "A Russian mail order bride's not something you get on E-Bay." "You do realize these women are Russian mob controlled sex slaves?" "You can't be involved with a sex slave." "You get too close to something like that you might be next." "I can't be next." "I'm not ready for a relationship right now." "Huh?" " I'm just trying to help her out." " Out of what?" "Out of my trailer!" "Come on, where's you sense of compassion?" "Can't you just have her deported?" "I can't deport her unless her visa expires." "What if she breaks the law?" "You can't go down that road again." "There's no more wiggle-room on your rap sheet." "I promised myself I wouldn't beg." "No, no." "No begging." "Please... please help me." "I don't know." "I don't..." " I guess I'll see what I can do." " Thank you." "What?" "You're not laughing because of the begging?" "I just think it's funny that you moved in with a woman before I did." "Oh." "Hello." "Hi." "You cleaned." "Having to do somethings to stop crying." "I hope you're not minding." "Not at all." "I kinda like having a wife..." "Ohmygod." "Did you make dinner?" "Galubnya." "Is that yes or is that dinner?" "I not know how to expect you back, so I'm not telling you about..." "Hi." "Hi." "Eric!" "You come too quick." "I believe you've met my wife." "Who seems to have fidelity issues." "Vodka." "Sorry, it's not Russian." "I put in freezer." "You sit." "Guess she won't be crying for three days..." "This isn't a date." "Then what is it then?" "Galubnya." "Oh." "Fish jello..." "And it looks like just enough for two..." "No, no." "Plenty for all." "You stay." "You can be third wheel." "Matryoshka -- nesting doll." "My town Zagorsk famous for this." "Beautiful." "This is me." "I always baby." "I feel so small." "I want bigger." "But mostly I need love." "Couldn't find it back home, huh?" "Only old mans and cripple." "So I making web page and Peter, he hit me many times with much love." "So I come as bride to America to live with many things, and much food." "And look where I now -- in sardines can with curtain!" "..........." "Capitalism makes society greedy, insensitive." "With socialism, everyone would have a job and everyone would have the same amount of money." "Everyone have job no one get paid." "You wait in line thirty hour in frozen cold for piece of bread then telling me you liking socialism." "You can't lead with a heart until hearts are broken." "My hearts not broken?" "No." "These hearts..." "Your turn." "Jaye breaks hearts." "Yes, she does." "I'll show you a real man." "This was in your hair." "Dorsal fin." "I was looking for that." "Thanks." "So how long is perestroika gonna go on tonight?" "Because, you know, I gotta be up early." "Aren't you having a good time?" "Not as good as some people." "Though that could be because I don't have anyone cutting my jello for me." "You really shouldn't lead her on." "Do you think I have?" "No..." "You've been a perfect gentleman -- but that could be taken the wrong way, you know." "By whom?" "I thought you said you weren't attracted to her?" "She was engaged at the time." "Oh, so now that she's not you suddenly are attracted?" "I didn't say that." "What are you saying?" "Who's for wodka?" "Look what your boyfriend did to me." "Hi." "I have a problem." "Peter showed up at my house last night with a big black eye and he says you did it." "That's ridiculous." "Yeah." "I know." "I have a problem." "Peter showed up at my house last night with a big black eye and he says you did it." "What are you laughing at?" "It's not funny." "Clearly he did it to himself." "The kid's disturbed." "He think you're my boyfriend." "Hey, you're the one who gave him a taste for it." "For what?" "Violence." "He probably fell in love with you the moment you threw him up against that wall." "Uh, no, if I wanted him to fall in love with me," "I would've given him a taste for fish jello." "What's that supposed to mean?" "It's impossible you could've actually liked any of your three portions -- it's fish jello." "You do realize that's jello and fish?" "I don't know why you're so bent out of shape -- you made it perfectly clear you weren't interested in me." "When did I ever make anything perfectly clear?" ""No boyfriend, not boyfriend, just boy."" "Didja mention that to little Peter?" "You're not my boyfriend!" "That's just a statement of fact." "Doesn't mean I'm not interested." "Are you?" "If I were in a position to be interested in somebody..." "I think I could safely say it'd be someone very much... not unlike... you." "Did you just come here to deliver your mixed message in person?" "I came here because I have a Peter problem." "He invited me to the opera." "Come on." "You gotta help me out." "I can't have a stalker whose voice hasn't changed yet." "I don't know what you expect me to do about it." "Talk to him." "Or smack him around for real." "Whatever." "He'll never hear it from me -- he thinks I'm your boyfriend." "He'll never hear it from me -- he thinks I'm his girlfriend." "Then I guess we'll just have to find someone he will hear it from." "Excuse me." "Are you Dick Johnson?" ".........." "Mister Johnson, if you could give me a few minutes " "Better be good." "You tell me." "I need to speak to you about your kid." "What about my kid?" "Look what your boyfriend's father did to me." "I probably shouldn't have said that thing about his wife..." "Whatever you said didn't give him any right to hit you." "I kind of implied Peter must be taking his cue from the way his father treats his mother." "That doesn't sound so bad." "Apparently she's dead." "She died a year ago." "Oh." "And he didn't actually hit me." "But it was his fault I walked into the forklift." "So Peter has not mother?" "Seems like he doesn't have anybody, really." "Poor kid's trying to deal with his mother's death and he's got a father who can't be bothered." "Sorry." ".............." "We disinfect." "I mean, he's obviously starving for adult attention and not getting it at home." "He's hit puberty, and now he's confusing the issue." "Well, clearly there's just one solution to this problem " "I'm gonna have to start dating the kid." "Oh, geez." "You're not dressed for an afternoon of Tchaikovsky and heavy petting." "Ew." "Just get in the car." "Are we goin' some place more intimate?" "Oh, yeah." "You're gonna love it." "I knew you'd come around." "I hope you're through with that abusive boyfriend of yours." "He's not my boyfriend." "Did he beat you?" "He didn't beat me and he didn't beat you either." "He denied it, didn't he?" "Of course he did." "He's a liar." "He's a liar who beats people." "He's not a liar -- you're a liar." "Did you like ............. to hit you?" "No." "With eyes that beautiful, how can you be so blind?" "What?" " He's threatened by me." " Shut up." "He wants you all to himself." "He won't share you with anyone." "You're in danger." "He's dangerous." "I saw him smoking a cigarette." "He doesn't smoke." "He doesn't hit people." "He doesn't deface synagogues and he doesn't frequent gay bath houses." " I have pictures..." " You have photo-imaging software." "I'm only trying to protect you." "Come with me to the cabin " "I'll keep you safe." "We have a cellar." "Listen, you could really learn a thing or two from the book that is Eric." "You'd be lucky to grow into half the man he is." "You're right." "He's a puss." "Where're we going?" "Excuse me, Mr. Johnson." "I'd like you to meet your son." "We've met, actually." "What'd you do?" "My only sin is love." "What'd he do?" "He ordered a wife from Russia." " You bought a woman?" " She's my fiance." "Was my fiance." "Where is she now?" "In some kind of shelter?" "She's singing Russian folk ballads at the High  Dry Trailer Park." "He was planning to lock her away in the woods where nobody would know about her or hear her scream." "What were you gonna do with her, Peter?" "Protect her." "That's what you're supposed to do." "You're supposed to protect your wife and keep her safe and make sure she doesn't die." "Peter, she had cancer." "You should've kept her safe." "Safe from carcinogens." "Safe from power lines and microwaves." "If you loved her more you would've kept her safe." "If he loved her like I love you." "Okay, that's my other problem " "Peter, you twelve years old." "You don't love this woman." "How would you know?" "You don't know how to love!" "That's what's wrong with you!" "He's a puss." "Just like your boyfriend." "If you want to slap him I'll totally look the other way." "I'll show you how to love." "I'm Jaye." "Nice to meet you." "I'm just gonna... make sure he doesn't steal my car." "You little sonofabitch!" "I hitched a ride on a poultry truck." "And can I just say?" "I'm never eating wings ever again -- unless they're actualy made from buffalo." "Where's Eric?" "I need to talk to him about our son." "I thought he was with you." "With me?" "Why would he be with me." "We're not a couple." "Then why would you have a son?" "And are you referring to that freaky kid Eric just left with -- ?" "He was here?" "!" "Came in, said something to Eric about you and a cabin and they ran out of here." "Not that I was eavesdropping." "Well, not very successfully, anyway." "Ohmygod." "Psycho boy cabin." "The kid's probably got a shrine up there with Eric's picture and a bull's eye or something." "The cabin... the cabin..." "Where did he say it was?" "On a lake... which lake?" "Was it Chautauqua?" "What's going on?" "Remember that Russian mail order bride?" "Yeah..." "Actually, that's all I have time for right now." "I need your car." "What happened to yours?" "I lost it." "Um, I don't feel comfortable lending my car to someone who's lost theirs." "I need your car." "Lives are at stake." "Possibly." "That kid's not right." "He's fixated on Eric." "He keeps insisting I should dump him." "I thought you weren't a couple." "Shut up." "I need your car." "After the last time you borrowed my car?" "I'm thinking not." "Fine, where's Eric's car?" "Probably parked out back where people with cars park them." "Where are his keys?" "Probably in his pocket where people with pockets put things like keys." "Damn." "Since when do you need keys to start a car that doesn't belong to you?" "Ooo!" "Good point." "Where is she?" "Inside." "I told you." "She's inside." "But you can't just go rushing in there." "You're gonna spook her." "Why was she even up here?" "I told you." "She's under the impression that you assaulted me." "Right, because you told her that." "Yes, yes, whatever." "Anyway, she came up here to beg me not to press charges." "And that's when she hit her head?" "She did that when she passed out." "I thought she was just trying to scare me because, you know how women are, but she was pretty upset." "I tried to call a doctor, but she wouldn't let me." "She said she'd only talk to you." "Only you... she only wanted you..." "Jaye?" "Jaye?" "Do you want me to kick your ass?" "'Cus I can." "I can do that if you'd like." "Uh..." "I'd rather this not spiral into a whole physical thing, so I'll respectfully decline your offer to kick my ass." "How long did you know?" "The whole time." "Damn." "You know, even if you got rid of me, you'd still be left with the biggest obstacle to Jaye's heart." "What's that?" "Jaye." " Hello?" " who is it?" "It's Dick Johnson, Peter's father." "Look, I'm so sorry he did this to you." "I'm gonna pay your way back." "I see tree drops same rotten fruit." "Excuse me?" "You like Peter -- not so tiny." "You can not put that fire by peeing much money on big flame." "You let small child who is like cross eyed dog to run and poo over whole village." "If you're finished with the potty metaphors, maybe you can just tell me who to make the check out to?" "Pay, pay, pay." "What Peter needing you no can pay." "He have no parents." "He has no mother." "He have no parents, he have no mother, he have no father also." "He needing love." "He troubled." "He tortured poet." "Tortured?" "Maybe." "Poet?" "Don't think so." "Da." "Look at what your boy he writes to me." "I etched your name in a cloud, but it was lost when the thunder cried." "I etched your name in the surf, but it was stolen by the rising tide..." "I etched your name in my heart, and forever it will there reside." "You have read these?" "I wrote it." "What?" "To my wife." "Years ago." "Peter must have found these and copied them..." "I didn't even know she kept these..." "Who would throw away such words?" "Her heart was captured with this." "Yeah." "I guess so." "And mine too." "I can't stop thinking about her." "It's nothing wrong with that." "It's normal." "Why does it have to hurt so bad?" "Because you love her, but you know it's impossible to be with her." "You think I'll ever forget her?" "She's your mother." "She'll always be a part of you." "I'm sorry I tried to steal your woman." "Jaye's not my woman." "She's not?" "Huh-uh." "Oh." "You think I still have a shot?" "Actually, by the time you're old enough to date, she might be ready to stop running." "So maybe you do." "What's she running from?" "I dunno." "Take a smarter man than me to answer that." "I'm smarter than you... and I can't solve the riddle that is Jaye." "She is a riddle." "She's the most mysterious girl I've ever known." "She's an enigma." "She's a conundrum." "She's a ten million piece sky puzzle." "She's a lifetime of New York Times Sunday crosswords." "She's a Rubik's cube." "She's here." "In my car..." "Okay." "So would one of you please tell me why someone isn't dead or injured?" "Say, for instance -- him?" "I risked my life -- and your car -- to rush out here." "And may I say that jeopardy puts a lovely blush in your cheek." "Shut up." "Get me a soda." "Okay." "Hi." "Yes?" "Can you help me?" "Jaye?" "Is Jaye... in there?" "She no is here." "You must be Katya." "Da." "I am she." "Jaye asked me to look into helping you return to Russia and I've found a way." "Hi." "She's not going back right now." "I'm not sure she's ever leaving." "But I'd appreciate it if you would." "So... you came to rescue me." "I guess I kinda did." "Thanks." "But he is only twelve." "Yeah, well, I guess I was trying to rescue you from me..." "I am the one who let him get away." "I don't think I need to be rescued from you." "In fact, I think..." "You know what?" "Maybe this isn't really a conversation we should have right now." "Oh, it's not going to be a conversation." "It's actually going to be a speech." "By me." "I had some time to think during my abduction, and here's the thing " "I don't know what your issues are or what happened to you to make you the way you are, but you're clearly not ready for a relationship." "Frankly, I think with you any sort of human interaction is pretty iffy." "And that's not a criticism, because god knows you saw what happened to me back in that chapel." "I'm damaged." "And it's going to take me time to heal." "Probably more time than I can guess." "Which is why I think... we should absolutely have a date." "What?" " You know, a date." " I know what a date is..." "You're not talking about the fruit, are you?" "I just feel like there's something here, a spark or chemistry or something and we should explore that." "But the issues and damage?" "You weren't wrong about any of that." "In fact, you don't even know the half of it." "I mean, forget about your damage." "I'm quite possibly certifiable." "Why would you want to get involved with anything so potentially messy and complicated as, well, me?" "Because you make me happy." "So you know how when you have like a first date there's all that tension because you've never kissed before?" "So now we can just go out and it can be tension-free." "I..." "I still have tension." "So I guess you worked out your differences." "We didn't have any differences." "Congratulations to the victor." "I'm gracious enough to admit that the better man has won the girl." "Don't worry about me." "I'll be fine." "I mean, you know, eventually." "I may still have issues."