"Let me down!" "Sweetheart, I'll talk to him." "Son, your mother and me would like for you to cosy up to the Finkelstein boy." "He's a bright kid and he's going to military school." "Remember, he was an eagle scout and..." " Arnold, he is a retard." " Shut up!" "We're not gonna have a brawl!" "We put up with a lot!" "Can this wait?" "Build up your goddamn muscles." "You know, you could build your muscles picking strawberries?" "You know, bend and scoop?" "Like the Mexicans." "Maybe I could get you a job with United Fruit." "I got a buddy with United Fruit." "It would get you started." "Start with the strawberries and you might work your way up to these bananas." "When, boy?" "When are you gonna get your act together?" " Gross!" " Good God Almighty me!" "I think he's the Anti-Christ." "I want to talk to you." "Now listen..." "Don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you." "You get a goddamn job before sundown or we're shipping you off to military school with a goddamn Finkelstein kid!" "Sonofabitch!" " You girls need a ride?" " No." "You sure?" "I'm going that way." " No." " You young jailbaits." "What's that?" "She's hitchhiking." "Watch out!" "Coming over, Geronimo!" "Hey, double-bubble!" "Come on, baby, I'll give you a ride." "Bend over, I'll drive you home, baby." "You ain't a chick!" "That's the only way I can get anybody to stop." "That's false advertising, man." "Listen, I slept in a ditch last night, I almost froze my balls off, man." "I didn't think you had any." " Wow, I really like your car, man." " You do?" "Did you do this yourself?" " Yeah, I customised it myself." " Wow!" "It looks fantastic, man." "Guess it does." "I'll give you a ride, let's go." " Just a minute." "I gotta get my stuff." " Hurry up, I got a lot of things to do." " Let's go." " Just a minute, man." "I got a few more things." "I'll be right back." "Hurry up, man." "What are you gonna do, move in, man?" "First gear." "Second gear." "Here we go..." " How far are you going, man?" " Right here is fine, man." "You ain't scared of a little speed, are you?" "You got some speed, man?" "Speed?" "No, I ain't got no speed, man." "You know what I do got, though?" "I got a joint, man." "All right." "Come on, light it up, let's get Chinese eyes, man." " What kind of joint is this, man?" " It's a heavy-duty joint, man." " Looks like a toothpick, man." " It's not a toothpick, man." " It is a toothpick, man." " It's just..." "It is a toothpick." "I must got it in the other pocket, man." "Hold on, I got the bullshit right here." "Oh, that's my dick..." "There we go." "There you go, light that sucker up, man." "Go to the moon." "I hope your dick's bigger than this, man." "You wanna get out and walk, man?" " You wanna get high?" " Does Howdy Doody got wooden balls?" "I got a joint here I've been saving for a special occasion." "Fire it up." "I hope the drums don't mess up your upholstery." " No, I'm in a band too, I'm a lead singer." " That's hip." "We play everything from, like, Santana to El Chicano." "Is that a joint, man?" "Goddamn, looks like a quarter pounder!" "Led Zeppelin!" "Be careful with that shit, man." "Is it heavy stuff, man?" "Gonna blow me away?" "Better put your seatbelt on." "I'll tell you that." "I've been smoking since I was born." "I can smoke anything." "I smoked that Michuacan, Acapulco gold." "I even smoked that tied stick." " Tied stick?" " You know, that stuff is tied to a stick." " Oh, Tai stick." " I felt nothing." "I could probably smoke this whole joint and still walk away." "No problem at all, man." "Toke it out, man." "It kinda grabs ya!" " Hey, man." " What?" "What's in this shit, man?" "Mostly Maui Wowie, man." "But it's got some Labrador in it." "What's Labrador?" " Dog shit." " What?" "My dog ate my stash, man." "Had in on the table and the little motherfucker ate it." "I had to follow him around with a little bag for three days before I got it back." " It really blew the dog's mind." " You mean we're smoking dog shit, man?" "It gets you high, don't it?" "I think it's even better than before." "Wonder what Great Dane taste like, man." "Wow, man." "That's some heavy shit, man." "Hey, man..." "am I driving OK?" " I think we're parked, man." " Shit." "I've never had no dope like that before in my life." "That's the heaviest shit I ever smoked." "I smoked a lot of dope before, but that's heavy shit." " You OK?" " I can't breathe." " Want some air?" " I can't breathe." "Here, man." "I got something that will mellow you out, man." "You're just freaking out." "I've never smoked no shit like that." "Take these, man." "These will mellow you out." " What is that?" " Just take it." " Hey, don't take those." " What?" " I almost gave you the wrong shit." " I already took them." " What do you mean "wow"?" " Wow, man." "What was that shit, man?" "You just ate the most acid I have ever seen anybody eat in my life." " I never had any acid before, man." " Hope you're not busy for about a month." "I'm gonna die, man." "That stuff's gonna make me die." "I never had it before." "It's gonna make me freak out." "I've seen guys that took too much acid, their heads looked like a pumpkin." "Relax, man." "Mellow out, man!" "Just go, "Aum"." " What?" " Do it, man." " Ohhh, shit." " Mellooow." " Better now, man?" " Yeah." " Mellow?" " Yeah." " Feel all right?" " Yeah." " What are you doing?" " Sometimes that helps." "Can we get off this street?" "We're parked in a bad spot." "The cops just went by." "We're being pulled over." "It's the cops!" "They're coming, man." "Cool, man." "Never had it before, man." "I didn't think it was going to be like this, man." "What's the problem, son?" "Roll down your window." "Keep on knocking but you can't come in..." "I gotta roll down the window." ""Weigh the anchor." "How much did it weigh?"" ""I don't know, I forgot." "You forgot?"" "I saw that in a movie once." " Can I see your licence, sir?" " What?" " Where is your licence?" " It's on the bumper, back there, man." "No, I mean your driver's licence." "Oh, I got my driver's licence." "I just thought of something real funny:" "Your mama!" " Sir, what is your name?" " What?" "What's your name?" "Isn't it on there, on the licence, man?" "That's it, Pedro de Pacas." "That's my name." "Just wait here." "Hurry back, I miss you already, darling." "I gotta get rid of this dope." "Don't act the fool." " Oh, OK." " We're gonna get busted." "I'm blind!" "I can't see!" "I'm blind!" "I can see clearly now, the rain..." "How long does this shit last, man?" "What's your name, sir?" " I told you my name." " Sir, what's your name?" "The dude wants to know your name." "His name is Raaauulph, man." "You're in trouble." "Excuse me, I need some water." "Fucking vodka, man!" " I'm down here, man." " I didn't see you." " You can sleep in that bedroom." " OK." " Check you in the morning." " Where's the bathroom?" "It's right there." " See you tomorrow." " We've got a rehearsal." "Listen, if you hear some noise in the bedroom, don't pay any attention, it's just me and my lady." "Next tune you hear I'll be doing on the bedsprings." "See you in the morning." "Amigos presenting, your new uniforms." "Hey, man, I can't wear this stuff." "This is terrible." "Look, they don't even fit." "You just don't understand the new style." "It don't even..." "It's too short, man." "We'll just make a few minor adjustments." "Hold it, man." "No, I can't wear this." "Curtis, man!" "Look at these uniforms." "These uniforms are out of sight, man." "I hope mine is as bad as this, you know." "Have you seen the new cuts." "All they need is rhinestones on the pointed shoes." " These uniforms are lame, man." " What do you mean, "lame", sucker?" "Where is the white dude you said was playing the drums?" "That's him." "That's James, the bass player." "Seriously, man." "These look like waiter uniforms." " You don't like them?" " No." "I'll be in the kitchen." "Wait a minute." "He's right, man, these are lame." "This is the new cut." "You'll all be bad." "If we're gonna wear uniforms, let's all wear something different." "We want something where everybody wears something different, but the same." "I gotta get out of this stuff." "Those are lame, get us something else." " Pedro, this is Curtis, baby." " I know Curtis, man." " I'm on top of it, Curtis is on the case." " Hurry up." "We gotta go score a lid." "Man, I can't believe we can't find no grass nowhere." "Too many people are smoking it now." " It's really tough on the rest of us." " Yeah." "The prices have gone crazy, man." "Some people are paying $100 for a lid!" " Yeah?" "Wow!" " Who lives here, man?" "My cousin Strawberry." "He has probably got some dope." "I hope so." "He is cool." "The thing is, he's a little weird." "He went over to Vietnam, and he came back all weirded out." "Well, that Nam grass will do it to you." "That stuff will lay you out, man." "That's what lost the war." "Don't say nothing about his birthmark cause he flips out then." "I'm not gonna talk about any birthmark." "Don't look at it either." "Are you sure it's a birthmark?" "Sometimes that Nam grass can do weird things to your face too." " Who is it?" " It's me, Pedro, man." " Pedro's not here." " No, I'm Pedro." "Open up." " What's the matter?" " I don't know." "Come on, it's open." " Strawberry?" " Strawberry's not here." "Hey, it's a bird, man." "The bird answered the door." " Wow, what a trip." " Hi fella." "Wanna get high?" "Wanna get high?" "Want something to eat, man?" "They got some pizza." "Strawberry, what's happening, man?" "How you doing?" " Pedro." " Yeah, right, Pedro." "This is my friend." "How you doing, man?" "I'm doing, friend." "We're stopping by to see if we can score some smoke." "We've been all over, and nobody's got any." "So, can we score some smoke from you?" "Smoke?" "You want smoke?" "I can get you some smoke." "All right." "We can score some smoke from him, man." " What are you looking at?" " Nothing." "I wasn't looking." "I wasn't looking at his neck." "Your friend better stay here 'cause we're gonna see some people of mine." "And they don't like strange dudes." "They don't fuck around." "I'll stay here." "Look at that, man." "The great outdoors." "Yeah, great outdoors." "El roacho." "It sure looks real..." " Who are you?" " Hey, how are you doing?" "I spilled." "I made a mess." " Where have you been all my life?" " We just came in..." "Never mind." "It's not really..." "Jesus, I don't believe this." "Wasn't that great!" " What a rush." "What's it like?" " Good shit." "The freak is leaving with a basketball." "Cover the freak." "He's covered." "Have the rest of the men stand by." "Stand by." "I think we're onto something really big here." "This could be the bust we've been waiting for." " Right, Sarge." " Zipping up." "Claymores." " What?" " Claymores." "Get me past that hutch and jettison me into the paddies." "There ain't no Paddies, they are just Chicanos, man." " What are you talking about?" " Strike that line, chatter grunt." "Deploy a little recon." "Charlie has us surrounded." "Charlie?" "It's a cop." "They're on your pad." "They're gonna bust your pad." "Strawberry?" "You've flipped out on one of your Vietnam trips." " Hold on to your thing." " You take the point, I'll take the rear." "If you need air... call it in." "Oh, no!" "Oh, shit!" "Oh, God." "No!" "Hello?" " Hello?" " Hello?" "Don't answer the phone, even if it's me calling." "I think it's bugged." " Pedro?" " Yeah, it's Pedro, I mean..." "The house is being raided." "Get out of there." "Hey Sarge, listen to this." " Did you get the weed?" " Outskys, man." "You hear?" "Get outsky." "Sounds very Latin." "Could be the Mexican connection." "Get this down." "Hurry back, man." "There are some joints here." "There's coke and everything, man." "This place is full of joints." "Come back, man." "This could be it, Harry." "Pass the word along." "Tell the men it's time to shoot the moon." "Shoot the moon." "You idiot, not out there, on the microphone." "Shot the moon." "Shot the moon." "Hello?" "I can't hear you, man." "Just a minute." "Hello?" "Pedro?" "Did we get cut off?" "We did get cut off." "Hello?" "How am I gonna get him out of there?" "Freeze!" "This is a bust." "The party is over, folks." "You, out!" "You, Freebird with the Raincoat, get out." "Not you!" "Don't swallow the dope." "We know you're holding it." "How well do you know that freak with the basketball?" "Get a load of these two." " What's her problem?" " Can't you see she's sick?" " It's turning blue." " Yeah?" "It's high-grade stuff." "Could be Peruvian flake." "That's right." "Just keep on laughing, miss." "This is serious." "This stuff destroys your mind." "Can't you see she's sick?" "She's been through a lot." " She's all fucked up." " Watch your language, miss." "Get a lab sample of this stuff." "You have the right to remain silent." "If you refuse that right... anything you say may be used against you..." " Have you got the book?" " No, sir." "...in a court of law..." " Read the book!" "Jesus!" "Excuse me." "OK, take that." "Right there." "What's going on here?" "Who are you?" "Who are you?" "We're from the finance company." "We came to repossess the furniture." "That?" "We gave them a lot of chances to pay up, but they didn't." "The boss says it's gotta go." "I'm just doing my job." "No, it's whiteball!" "Everybody, out!" "Move!" "Everybody out!" "It's locked, man." "Let go." "Let go, man." "Come on in." " What's going on, man?" " It's a bust, man." "We gotta figure out a way to get you out of here." "Freeze, this is a bust." "Single file!" "I wasn't looking at his neck." "The town's dry." "There's no dope nowhere." "I gotta pee." "Hey, Pedro." "Pedro, my man." " What's happening, Curtis?" " What's going on?" "Is this your ride?" "I got it of my cousin, Johnny." "This is your..." "This bad love machine is yours?" "You've got a taste of soul to you, brother." "And style too." "You know what you need to go with this bad ride?" " A chick?" " No, baby." " Knuckles?" " Genuine diamonds, baby." "Those ain't real diamonds, man." "What?" "Check this..." "Step back!" "Ain't for real?" "Check this!" "What are you doing?" "You're scratching my window." "It's cool." "We've been looking all over for some smoke." "You got some?" "I got some weed straight from Turkey." " It's what set them Arabs off." " Arabs from Turkey?" "This stuff is so bad it'll put a hump on a camel's back." " No shit?" " I wouldn't shit you." "This is some bad weed." "Check it out." "It'll boogie-woogie on your brain." "I'm gonna let you have it for a double dime." "This shit ain't shit, man." "What?" "We smoked this whole lid and I haven't even got a buzz yet." "You ain't high?" "I ain't high." "I'll tell you that." "I don't feel nothing, man." "My man Curtis came through for us this time." "I'm annihilated, you know." " What?" " Give me a cookie." "Juan, don't beg me, man." "Go in the kitchen." "You must get high on lawn clippings, Jack." "This ain't grass, I'm telling you that." "You guys are just tripping, man." "Curtis is our partner, man." "He came through for us." "If he sold you that, man..." "Hide, man." "It's a bust." "Freeze, you chilli-choking pepper belly." "What have you got here?" "Get the seeds." " Who is it, man?" " It's a bust, get the seeds." " Why?" "They can't bust you for seeds." " Just hide your face." " We ain't done nothing." " It's a bust, man." "There is no weed in the house." "What's going on?" " It's just the migra." " Who?" " I forgot." " Migra?" "They're looking for illegal aliens." "I forgot it's the wedding." "The wedding?" "Who are these guys?" "The immigration." "They're gonna deport these dudes." "Deport them?" "My cousin is getting married down in TJ." "He caused the immigration on himself." " Why?" " So he can get a free ride, man." "They take the whole wedding party down." "Plus they even get fed lunch." "So, we're cool?" "Don't worry..." "Unless you don't got a green card." "Hello, Uncle Chuey." "It's Pedro." "Hey man, we got deported." "We're down here at Tijuana right now." "We need a way to get back." "Do you have anything that needs to be picked up?" "Yeah?" "Yeah, just hold on." "No, gracias." "What's the address?" "1-8-1-1." " Hey man, we got a ride." " Far out." "My Uncle Chuey's got a van." "We gotta smuggle across the boarder." " What are we smuggling?" " Upholstery." "He's got a shop in Beverly Hills, but he gets all work done cheaper here." "Smuggling of marijuana from Mexico into the United States has reached a dangerous high." "The methods have become unbelievably devious." "These are the seeds which may sow the destruction of the human race." "I don't think we need to comment on the seriousness of the situation." "Harry, stop that." "We are on the threshold of copping one of the largest shipments of marijuana that has ever crossed the Mexican border into the United States." "The question is how are they going to transport it across the border?" " By boat." " Plane." " Freight?" " Piggy-back?" " Plastic cans." " Long trucks." "Let me show you." " Inside TV sets." " No, Harry." "Not inside TV sets." "The TV set itself is the marijuana." "The tube, the aerial, the whole works." "How can you make a TV set out of marijuana?" "That's a good question." "I'll show you." "The weed is separated from seed." "The weed is then transformed into liquid." "The liquid is then acted upon by a chemical, which makes it hard like a plastic." "The plastic is then transformed into a spray." "This spray, gentlemen, is called fibreweed." "And is pure marijuana." "Thanks to the efforts of our undercover man inside the dope factory, we have some very interesting facts." "That is quite a quantity of marijuana, gentlemen." "It is not a lid, a kilo or a gram." "How much do you think is in this dope-factory?" "A million pounds." " Harry?" " A shit-load." "Harry." "We know that the dope-factory is disguised as an upholstery warehouse." "This is the street, man." "Come on." " How can you eat this stuff?" " Don't you like these?" " I told you not to buy them." " Why did you do that?" "I would've ate it." "You never know what's in it, could be a dog." " You got the address?" " Good dog, man." " Hey, sonofa..." " 1-8-1..." "Is that 7 or 1?" "Looks like 7." "Let's go and check it out." "We are here to pick up the van." "We're here to pick up the van." "Have a seat, the boss will be right back." "The boss will be right back." "He's somewhere else." "Those burritos, man." "Where is the bathroom?" " Straight in the back." " Thanks." "Come on, cheeks, tighten up." "Come on, cheeks, stay together." "Let's stay together." "Shit!" "I hope that was a fart." " Where is the toilet?" " Over there." "Where's the toilet?" "Thank you." "I'm sorry, man." "Did you eat one of those burritos too?" "Suppose to eat them with ice cream." "Come on, ice cream." "Even though we don't know what we're looking for, we do know the approximate value of the weed itself." " I would like to hear your opinions." " A million?" "The TV set alone is worth close to a million." " A billion dollars." " Now we're getting somewhere." " I'm freezing at two hundred million." " I think it's four billion." "You're all wrong." "Nine billion big ones, boys." "And you know what that means." " The better the bust, the bigger the boost." " Excellent." "Well, I guess that wraps it up." "Any questions?" "You sure know how to roll them big joints." " You like that, man?" " They're heavy." "I used to be a roadie for the Doobie Brothers, you know." "What a groovy gig." "Yeah, that's how I learned to play drums." "Speaking to all of them drummers." "I dig Mexico, man." "I'd like to come back here when we've got more time." " Are we at the border already?" " Looks that way, man." " Get rid of the stuff, man." " Yeah, better get rid of this shit." "Put it down, man." "Get rid of it." "We're at the border, man." "Hey, get rid of it!" "Not that way, man." "Throw it out." "This is Toyota Kawasaki here at the Mexican-United States border, where a huge task force of narcotic custom agents is preparing a surprise welcome for a vehicle which they say is constructed entirely of high-grade marijuana." "Don't make that face, man." "Just let me talk to them..." "Good afternoon, sisters." "How long have you been in Mexico?" "Just be cool." "How long have you guys been in Mexico?" "A week." "I mean, a day." "Which one is it, a week or a day?" " A weekday." " You got any narcotics, marijuana?" " Not any more." " You better step out of the van." " I'm on fire!" " Sister's on fire!" "This looks like a bust." "Get Stedenko on the phone, this might be it." "What have we got here?" "They're busting nuns, man." " That's cold-blooded." " Let's watch." "Up against the wall, all of you." "Sergeant Stedenko, exactly what are you looking for?" "Dope, drugs, weed, grass, toot, smack, quackers, uppers, downers, all-arounders..." "You name it, we want it." "How important is it to apprehend the suspects?" "Critical." "The buying and selling of dope may be the last vestige of free enterprise left." "There are rumours that the suspects are armed and dangerous." "Do you expect to see any violence here today?" "I hope so." " Have you yourself smoked marijuana?" " Once." " We're on TV, man." " Hi, Mom." "This could be it." " Let's find out, man." " Yeah." " Listen, I gotta go and pee." " Don't go scuba diving." "So, it was a station wagon, Harry." "Very devious." " They almost look like real nuns." " Right down to the stockings." "Very clever." "You ought to be ashamed of yourselves." "Reminds me of a story my dad used to tell me." "The only kind of meat a priest could eat on Friday was nun." "Inside!" " Harry, get a sample of that car." " Yes, sir." "Start the interrogation." "I'll be right back." "Hey, what's going on out there, man?" "Excuse me, what's going on out there?" "It's nothing." "Just some people doing what they're not supposed to." "Some asshole pissed on my leg!" "Our agent just phoned from Mexico." "It's not a bunch of nuns in a station wagon, it's two hippies in a green van." "Must be some heavy shit." "Let's go, come on!" "Get that siren up!" "Where would these two creeps hang out?" "Where do hippies hang out today?" "Sunset Strip, that's where they hang out." "Yeah, we can try there." "If not there, we can go up to San Francisco." "Imagine the field trip these two creeps will have when they find out that the van is made of grass." "I don't believe it." "You guys are supreme idiots." "How can you let a big, green van slip through your fingers." "What did we end up with?" "Busting a bevy of nuns, a guy pisses on my leg." "I lose my special canine sentry dog." "The best cop I ever knew." " See anything?" " Negative." "Use mine, they're on the floor." "Yeah, these are great, I can see everything." "What do you see?" "There is a great doughnut shop up there." "No, on the road!" "Wait a minute." "There's the van!" " There's the van!" " Yeah, that's it." "Listen, when we get back, let's get serious about this group." "Yeah, if we practise all the time and rehearse, we can have a heavy band." "Let's not let anything interfere with our music this time." " Hey, do you see what I see, man?" " Yeah." " Hey, they're hitchhiking, man." " All right." "There they go." "I wonder what they're doing way out here." "I don't know, but here comes the Mounties to their rescue." "Turn around." "They are over there." "Keep an eye on them!" "You want to drive?" "Take over." "What are you doing?" "Hi, ladies." "Here you go." "Watch your step." "I'll watch everything else." "Hey, what's happening?" " How far are you going?" " All the way." "We are going there ourselves." "Come on over." " There they go, Harry." " I see them!" "Shoot their tyre." "Not yours, use my gun." "My God!" "Damn it, you stupid, idiot!" "Look, you idiot!" "You are a stupid, stupid man." "Get over here, Harry!" "Give me that gun!" "When I think of the time and the money I wasted on your training, and you turn out to be a blithering idiot!" "You're an utter failure!" "You make me sick." "Have you anything to say for yourself?" "In the car!" "I will never, ever, put a bald-headed man in the department again." "Wow, it's a neat van." "Yeah, you wanna see the rest of it?" " OK." " Yeah?" "We'll go right back there." "The rest of it is right back there." "Go ahead, watch your step." "There you go." "Right back there." "Have fun in the Magic Mountains." "Yeah, I see London, I see France." "If I'm not out in three weeks, send a search party." "Hold on, don't start without me." " You wanna do a lude?" " You got ludes?" "No, I don't have any ludes, I wish I had ludes." "I thought you said you had some." "No, I don't have some." "I don't have enough." "All right, all right." "I wish I had some, you know." "I love a manly chests." "So do I. I mean, on a girl." "Attention all units, attention all units." "This is Sergeant Stedenko." "Attention all units, this is Sergeant Stedenko." "We are changing from a code 3 direct pursuit to a code 347... completely lost, due to incompetence." "You know where these chicks are going?" "They're going to the Roxy." "They're having a battle of the bands there." "And the winner gets a record contract." "A battle of the bands?" "It's the best thing in the world." "Everyone's gonna be there." "The winner gets a record contract with Rowel Records." "That's not gonna mean dick unless they promote you." "We could get our band in it and win, man." "It's a hundred dollars too." "We couldn't enter." "We don't even know any tunes yet." "We've had two rehearsals, man." "Besides, it's just punk rock." "You don't have to know how to play, all you gotta do is be a punk." "We gotta get loaded first, though." "We need to score a lid." " Stop and I'll call Gloria." " Who's Gloria?" "Hi, you're looking good." "You wanna go powder our noses, you know?" "Anyway, I wanna talk some business, OK?" "I got the powder." "She's got the best stuff, I'm telling you." " She can bust me any time." " You should see her summer whites." "Come here." " That's heavy." " Yeah." "I bet a lot of cops smoke dope." "No, I mean that." "Looks like a radio station." "The request lines are now open." "KGFJ Soul Radio." "Do it now." "Request lines are now..." "Shit, it's open." "Go ahead." "Officer Clyde, contact Headquarters and give them our location." "And then I want to take off your dress..." "And then I want to take off your bra..." "And then I'm gonna take off your shoes." "Hello, hello, hello, hello." "Can you hear me?" "Hello, Headquarters." "Come in Headquarters." " This is Officer Clyde, we are..." " Use the codename!" "Headquarters, come in." "This is codename Hard head." "Hat!" "Hard hat!" "Give me that!" "Hello, radio dispatch." "This is Hard hat." "You read me?" "Was that Lard ass?" "Codename Hard hat." "Do you read, radio dispatch?" " Got something for you, Lard ass." " Hard hat!" "Do you understand?" "Lard ass!" "Hard hat!" "Radio dispatch, do you know who this is?" "No, who is this?" " This is Sergeant Stedenko!" " Yeah?" "You know who this is?" "No!" "Bye bye, Lard ass." "Attention Headquarters, attention Headquarters." "This is codename Lard..." "this is codename Hard hat." "Any signs of them within the last half hour?" " They burnt the stash they had." " Oh, no!" "Can you believe it?" "They burnt the whole thing yesterday." "They're expecting a new one in from Tijuana." "It's supposed to be worth millions and millions of dollars." "The cops are out looking for it now." "Jesus, I hope they find it." "Me too." "If they find it, can you set aside some lids for me?" "You can believe we'll have a party!" "Why don't we just split, OK?" "Bye, Glo, see you." "You want me to give you the number to that guy?" " Bye bye." " See you." "I gotta go to the bathroom." "I'll meet you guys outside, OK?" "Come on, man." "Sometimes when you gotta go bad, you can't." "Come on, man." "You wanted to go out there." "I'll put you back in the closet." "I think he's got stage fright, man." "Ah, that's the one." "Hey man, thanks a lot." "Hey, hey, hey!" "Come on, man." "Look at it!" " I'm sorry." " Hey!" "Come back!" "Jesus Christ!" "Can everybody be quiet, I'm calling home." "Hello?" "Who's this?" "James!" "Listen, we got a gig at the Roxy." "Get the guys, OK?" "Be sure to be there, don't be late." "All right, see you later." "It's together, man." "We're gonna be there, man." " Does this show?" " Yeah, they sure do." " I mean this, the spot." " Let's see." " Yeah, a little bit." "I'll take it out for you." " Will you?" " Yeah, sure." "Just take it off." " Great!" " I'll just do a toot." " No, man, not in the front." "Now get in the back." "Get in the back!" "Get in the back!" "Hey, Pedro." "Pedro!" " What's the matter?" " Pedro!" "You still like me, don't you?" " Pedro, come here, man!" " He's so sweet." "Get out here, man!" "Where did you learn how to drive, man?" "We got stopped by the cops." "I don't have a driver's licence." " Why didn't you tell me that before?" " What are we gonna do?" " Shit!" "Change place with me, man." " I don't think he's seen us." " No, sit down." " My leg's caught." " What do you guys want?" " Nothing." "You mind if I have a bite of your hot dog?" "Yeah, man." "You can have the whole thing." " Want some frittos?" " No, no." "This is fine." "Thank you." "You guys have a nice day." " What?" " You're squashing my nuts." "Did that really happen?" "What was that dude's trip, man?" "I thought we were gonna get busted." " It may be a trick, man." " OK, just sit there and be cool." " Damn, man!" " I wonder what he's been smoking." "I wish we had some." "We gotta score some before we go on." " But where, man?" " I don't know." "There's gotta be somebody in this town that's got a lot of smoke." "She was like nuts." "You could always tell if she was balling a man." "Everyone would be dozing off and all of a sudden she would start up like..." "But then she would get going and she'd be more like..." "And she starts going like a motorboat, you know..." "Her boyfriend's name was Alex." "Fuck me..." "Fuck me, Alex." "Fuck me." "I've got a cramp." "That's just like it." "You're doing good." "Yeah, that's just like it!" " Then she'd have two tears." " That's better." "That feels better." "Oh, God." "I need some air." "Right on, man!" "I didn't know you're name was Alex." " I got a cramp." " I'd have a cramp there too, man." "What's going on out here?" "You don't know where you're going, wait for me." "Make way for the new king." "You're a star, man." "After you, King Salami." "They don't know where the best dressing room is." "The next day, he comes up to me and says," ""Thanks for being there, like you saved my life."" "Just like Cher." "Come on, man." "We're gonna be on in two more bands." "You gotta hear what these other groups are into, man." "These kids are into something heavy." "Listen to this new song." "Hey man, are you awake?" " I don't feel so good." " Did she give you some pills?" "Yeah, I gave him some, but I gave him ups." "Come on, man." "Hey, how many fingers do you see?" "I think I fucked it up." "Anybody got some coffee?" "I got a popper." "We can either like party later or try to start his heart." "Get up." "Come on." "Get up." "Watch where you're going." "You're not dying, you know." "Know what I'm saying?" "Come on, I got you." "I was thinking, maybe we should have some paper between us." "In this business a handshake doesn't mean dick." "Everybody into the van." "Hurry!" "There's one." "That's right, boys." "Everybody in." "All the way down." "All the way down." "That's right, boys." "We want to talk to you about joining your order." " Wait, wait, wait." " Can I see some tickets, guys?" "We don't need tickets." "We are brothers of faith." "We don't need tickets to walk with love in the world." "We got see the tickets." "All right, we are not brothers of the faith." " We are police officers." " Sorry, man." "You gotta have tickets." "That's a ticket." " That is a gun, not a ticket." " Did you bring an ID?" "We have got to get in here." "It is very important." " Sergeant, the van!" " The van!" "No wonder Anita Bryant's pissed off." "Hey you!" "Wait a minute!" " Where are you taking this tow-truck?" " Hey, take a walk!" "What do you mean?" "Who are you?" " Who owns this van?" " Who are you anyway?" " Sergeant Stedenko!" " Sergeant Stedenko." " What van?" " What do you mean?" " Let's see some ID." " Show them your ID." "Hold it!" "Come back here." " What did we do?" " Not a damn thing." "Hey, you know who he is?" "Tell him who you are." "Benny, will you shut up!" "Call the paddy wagon." "I'll notify Headquarters." "Moving right along." "We don't know who they are, but here's Alice Bowie." "You guys really had a scheme going, didn't you?" "Thought you would get away with it?" "Almost nine billion dollars." "Nine billion big ones to help disease young minds with marijuana, smack, toot, crackers, you name it." "Sarge, the wagons are on their way." "Do you realise this is the bust that is going to send me right to the top?" "Harry, are you sure you talked to Headquarters?" " They're on their way." "Relax." " Have a cheeseburger." " A sundae?" " Hot fudge?" "Hot fudge sundae with cream on top." "Nothing for me." "What have we got here?" " They're anchovies." " Good, thanks." " How many pieces have you had?" " I'm stoned." "Yes, you are very, very stoned." "Look at this." "You've got food all over your uniform." "You've got no self-control whatsoever." "OK, are you guys ready?" "One, two, three!" "Why don't you guys admit it, you've got munchies." "I've never seen anything so disgusting." "You are a disgrace to the force." "Do you understand, Harry?" "I am stoned!" " So, go with it." " You're telling me to go with it." "You almost botch up the entire operation." "You lose my best dog." "Two guys piss on my leg." "I'm on the verge of a pig-out and you say, "Go with it!"" " I'll go with it!" " Go with it." "Go with it." "You hear that standing ovation?" "We're gonna have a bad band." "We had them eating right out of our hands." "We're gonna be big, man." "We're gonna be bigger than Ruben and the Jets, man." "All we gotta do is keep practising, man." "Just keep it together." "I feel good, man." "I wish we could have some to celebrate." "You got a joint?" " Hey!" " What, did we get pulled over?" "I just remembered, I got some hash." "Yeah?" "Well, fire it out!" " I need a pin or something." " There's a pin on my tutu, man." "Remind me, we got to take those back, or we'll get charged for extra days." "I forgot all about this, man." "We're a big band." "We're gonna have a limo, food backstage, everything!" "We need a manager, though." "That's the only thing." "My cousin." "He doesn't have a job." "We'll make him the manager." "He's got a van too." "It'll be heavy." "We're gonna be the heaviest dudes." "Get all new instruments and everything, man." "All right!" "What's this?" " I think it's hash." " Doesn't look like much, man." "Where did it go?" "Watch the road!" "Watch the road, man!" "Shit!" "Can't you put anything in my lap, man?" "Well, stop the car!"