"[MUSIC PLAYING]" "Wake up, Maxine." "Hmm?" "Oh, hey, baby." "Hey." "Come here." "Hmm?" "Come over here." "Mmm." "[MOANING] What's happening?" "Come on, come on, come on." "OK, OK." "I'm coming." "What's up?" "Maxine Isabella Morgan, would you do me the extraordinary honor of marrying me?" "[LAUGHING] (SARCASTICALLY) Right." "This was my grandmother's." "Oh my-- your grandmother's-- you're serious?" "You had my back since the moment I met you." "I want it to always be that way, me and you." "Just us two?" "Forever." "OK." "Is that a yes?" "Yes." "Yes, yes, yes." "OK, we should toast to this." "As you wish." "No, I" " I'll get it." "You stay here." "OK." "(SINGING) Future Mrs. Evan." "Wait, we can still have sex with other people, right?" "Yeah." "OK, cool." "(SINGING) Future Mrs. Evan." "[LAUGHING]" "[GRUNTING]" "[PANTING]" "[GUNSHOT]" "[PANTING]" "[GUNSHOT]" "He's stalking me in my dreams." "[MUSIC" " SICK OF SARAH, "OVEREXPOSURE"]" "THEME SONG:" "Run, run run, run run, run run, run, as fast as you can." "Tell me how low can you go, you're in out of control, and oh no, you're overexposed when, now." "Overexposure now, overexposure now, Overexposure now." "[MUSIC PLAYING]" "Got something for you." "And you've got something for me." "[SNORTING]" "[SIGHING]" "I really appreciate this." "I've been pulling 18-hour shifts at the hospital all week." "Why are you dressed like that?" "[CHUCKLING] Honey, do you mean why am I dressed like a nurse?" "Yeah." "Because I'm a nurse." "Oh." "Cool." "[LAUGHTER]" "Oh, fuck." "[CHUCKLING]" "[LAUGHTER]" "There's your tip." "[MUSIC PLAYING]" "You must be Mike." "Yeah." "Come on." "[RECORD SCRATCH]" "You're a cop." "Is it that obvious?" "Just get out of here." "Nothing's happened." "I'm sorry." "Get out." "That's for your trouble." "Wait." "[SIGH] You're for real?" "OK, come here." "Have a seat." "Sit down." "I'm a widower." "It's OK." "All right, it's OK." "[MUSIC PLAYING]" "Bender." "Oh, whoa." "Are you doing your zen thing?" "That shit's mad fucking cool." "It's mad real." "I had a bad dream." "Oh, that sucks." "Do you speak Japanese?" "No." "Neither do I. Shit." "Uh, is that healthy?" "What, my zen thing?" "No, your-- um, yeah, OK." "Thank you for coming." "I needed the company." "Yeah." "You know what I want to do with my life, like, when I grow up?" "I want to study rocks." "Rocks?" "Yeah, rocks." "What do they call it?" "Um, like, I want to be a" "Geographer?" "No, no, no, no, that's" "Geologist." "That's it, yes, yes." "Yeah, geologist was like on the tip of my tongue." "Um, so I've been saving up a bunch of money, and I want to move me and Mimi out to Florida, and we'd live on the beach, and I'm going to study rocks." "Yeah, I feel ya." "Yeah." "Have you ever heard of an agate?" "It's like this-- it's like this rock, and it's got all these pretty beautiful bands." "It's like quartz and whatnot." "There's this famous dude." "I think his name was Scott Walter, some geologist, and he spent his whole fucking life just studying those motherfuckers." "I think it's fucking cool, dude." "Like, I want to study shit like that, too." "You know, it's like" "I don't know." "It's like, have you ever seen a stressed out agate, or um, a quartz that has self-esteem issues, or a lava rock that can't chill out?" "Of course, when it cools down, it turns into an obsidian rock, so" "So you've saying I should be more like a rock." "Well, yeah, maybe, like, indirectly, not directly." "But I just fucking like talking about rocks." "[GASP]" "I feel a hug coming on." "I feel a hug coming on." "Mm-hmm." "Want a hug?" "You want a hug?" "Who wants a hug?" "Come on, nice friend hug." "Friends, my friends, my friends likes hugs." "[MOAN]" "Bender, you met me at a very strange time in my life." "Bender?" "Bender?" "Bender?" "Hey." "Hey." "Hey, you're Evan's friend, right?" "Hi." "Hi." "Um, yeah, I mean, I wouldn't say I'm Evan's friend." "I'm more like a Biblical acquaintance, I guess." "Biblical?" "Hey, do you want to go get a drink?" "It's, uh, 10:00 in the morning." "Oh, shit." "I didn't mean to be out that late." "Well, you know what they say." "I mean, alcohol's a man's worst enemy." "Bible does say to love thy enemy." "Irish proverb?" "Actually, Frank Sinatra." "He was a singer, but he's dead now." "So" "Didn't work out for him too well, huh?" "What do you mean?" "Let's go." "What did they say?" "VINCE:" "It's complicated." "Then fucking uncomplicate it." "VINCE:" "All right." "She's willing to settle." "What do you mean, settle?" "She is suing you for $2.5 million, OK?" "However, she is willing to settle for $500,000." "She wants me to pay her?" "She is only interested in money, OK?" "I've already talked this over with your father." "My dad?" "No, no." "We've made all the arrangements." "[LAUGHTER]" "Her son breaks into my house, ra-- kills me, and I'm supposed to fucking pay his mother off?" "If this was any other state, you'd be facing criminal charges." "That's fucked up." "This society doesn't tell men not to rape." "It teaches women not to get raped." "I shoot the motherfucker, and I'm the criminal." "VINCE:" "You are lucky that we can settle this for $500,000." "Any problem we can fix with money is a good problem." "No, no." "Absolutely not." "We're fighting this." "We are not fighting this." "It will cost us more money to fight it." "I'm not going to pay her for having a son who's a rapist." "Something's wrong." "Yeah, something is wrong." "No, something's happening." "I feel like I'm dying inside." "Yeah, well, welcome to my life." "Oh, Evan?" "Shit." "Oh, fuck." "Come on." "Hey, come on, now, Evan." "Come on, Evan." "Evan, button your shirt, OK?" "You're going to relax and you're going to button your shirt, right?" "Evan." "What?" "Are you calm now?" "Calmer than you are, motherfucker." "[LAUGHTER]" "Hello, Vince." "Yes, hello, Evan." "Vince-sss." "VINCE:" "Evan, button your shirt up." "Me?" "Oh, I, um, I got this major settlement from this big pharmaceutical company I was working for." "So now I sit around and do nothing." "Spend most of my time spending." "How about you?" "I'm an escort." "Wow, well, that's a recession-proof industry." "Yeah." "[LAUGHTER]" "So, you and Evan." "Me and Evan." "Yeah, you and Evan." "You know she hadn't had sex in a year, right?" "Oh, you mean since she got shot?" "You know about that?" "Yeah." "Oh my god." "I've been so worried about her." "Evan was always DTF." "She was always down to fuck." "And then that happened, and it just completely changed her." "I" " I know you guys, you know, I know you guys did it, but did she let you, you know, do anything to her?" "No, she didn't." "Damn." "Baby steps, right?" "Baby steps." "Hm." "This is good." "[MOANING]" "[MOANING]" "Hey, Trista." "Hey, Dan." "Nice seeing you." "You too." "Oh my god, Dan, what are you doing?" "Well, I'm hungry." "You have to leave." "You leave." "I'm hungry." "[SIGH]" "You have to leave." "Nope." "Told you, I'm a hungry guy." "I want food." "Oh, by the way, I checked out a book for you." "It's called "The Late Blooming Lesbian."" "[LAUGHTER]" "Oh my god." "You are such an embarrassment." "I saw that movie." "Yeah." "They actually turned into a TV movie." "It was really good." "I hate you." "I flipping hate you." "Listen, I want" "I want you to discover yourself, to" "I'll be totally understanding of your journey into the active sex styling of a lesbian later on in life." "WOMAN:" "Trista!" "It can be a difficult process!" "So did you have sex with her?" "Who?" "Trista." "No, I mean, she was drunk." "I took her home." "I hate her." "Oh." "No reason, I just really hate her." "She seems nice enough to me." "You know something else about Evan?" "She hates threesomes." "OK." "Um, that was random." "I know, but it's weird, right?" "I guess, I mean, she doesn't seem like she's into guys." "Oh, oh, no, no, no, god no." "Evan does not sleep with men." "She's never been with a man." "Neither have I, actually." "Gold star!" "Whoo." "No, I" " I mean all girl threesomes." "Like, I know, because I tried to hook us up with this really, really hot chick once." "Didn't work." "She apparently got it all out of her system while she was at Sarah Lawrence, and so now she's just all weirded out about it." "Evan" " Evan's like this-- this artichoke." "You just pull back one fascinating layer after another." "You're a good listener." "Yeah, I think that's why I'm good at my job." "Hm?" "Oh, right, the call girl thing, right." "Does your employer offer a good benefits package?" "[LAUGHTER]" "I said package." "You get it?" "You get it?" "I got that, Yeah, got that." "I kill me." "Whoo." "Ooh, Bender, you look so handsome." "Thanks, Mimi." "Uh-oh." "Who's this girl?" "Her name's Ling." "And she's super pretty, super cute, and stuff." "Wow." "You taking her to dinner?" "Yeah, um, I was thinking that when we get back, maybe we could play some video games." "Shit, you're going to be sleeping." "Oh, no." "Don't worry." "You girls won't wake me up." "OK." "Thanks, Mimi." "I don't want to get your hopes up or anything, but I" "I think she may be the one." "Really?" "Yeah." "We'll have to see how the night goes, though." "Oh, well, I know that once she sees you dressed up like this, she'll fall in love with you if she hasn't already." "OK, I gotta go." "Duty calls." "[LAUGHING]" "We need to have a serious discussion, young man." "[CHUCKLE] Is there any other kind with you?" "Look, I know we've agreed to cohabitate here amicably until the divorce is final." "But I" "Susan, the only reason that I'm here is because of you." "Why?" "Because you're still in love with me, loser?" "No." "Because we both know that you're in no condition, 'be living by yourself." "You have to respect my privacy." "DAN:" "Well, quit necking with her out in the open like that in front of me." "This is just as much my home as it is yours." "Hmm." "You know, if you're allowed to have your girlies over here," "I think I should have the same rights too." "[LAUGHING] You want to have girls over here?" "Uh-huh." "You want to have girlfriends over?" "Mm-hmm." "Go right ahead." "Have all the girls over you want." "[LAUGHING]" "Fine." "Don't want to hear no complaints from you." "Oh, god." "Just wait and see." "[CHUCKLE]" "Fuck, dude!" "Yes!" "How the hell'd you beat me, dude?" "I fucking play this three hours a day." "Uh, beginner's luck." "I guess." "You want to smoke?" "Oh, no, I'm good, but you go ahead." "You sure?" "Yeah, I'm fine." "All right, pretty cool." "I've actually never smoked marijuana in my life before." "[KNOCKING]" "Evan?" "Hey." "Evan, oh, hi!" "[GIGGLE] Hey, hey, hey, guess what?" "What?" "I love you." "I bet you didn't know that." "[LAUGHING] You know what else?" "I'm drunk." "Where's the bourbon?" "[GIGGLING]" "Oh, Jesus." "Sorry about that." "I, uh, I ran into her." "She wouldn't tell me where she lived, but she wanted to come here." "So um, I guess I'll get going." "No." "Stay." "Yeah?" "Stay, yeah." "Yeah." "[MUSIC PLAYING]" "I like you a lot." "Me too." "[KNOCKING]" "Let it go." "I have to get up." "Uh-uh." "Gotta get up." "I want to stay here with you." "[MUMBLING]" "I do what I do." "[KNOCKING]" "Oh, god." "OK." "I'm going to go." "Do you have to?" "Mm, OK." "Oh, shit." "Bender!" "Dude, what the fuck did I say last time?" "Not to come back." "It's a fucking sensitive situation." "I've got company." "Oh, are you on a date?" "Shut the fuck up." "I'm not your fucking friend." "This is an emergency." "You're fucking cut off." "But you got the best shit." "Yeah, you know why I got the best shit?" "Because I don't deal with ungrateful motherfuckers like you." "Well, thank you." "And good look on your date tonight." "Hey." "What?" "What?" "I apologize if this is coming out of nowhere, but are you a drug dealer?" "OK." "I don't know how I feel about that." "Yeah, actually I do." "I'm sorry." "Come on." "OK, well, I" "[CLEARS THROAT] Oh, my god." "[MUSIC PLAYING]" "BOY (ON TV):" "Dad!" "DAD (ON TV):" "Hey!" "Look what I got you, buddy." "Come on, check it out." "BOY (ON TV):" "A Y-box!" "DAD (ON TV):" "Yeah." "BOY (ON TV):" "Awesome." "DAD (ON TV):" "Way to go, huh?" "[SCREAMING]" "MAXINE (ON TV) Nice." "DAD (ON TV):" "So, cake?" "MAXINE (ON TV):" "Yeah, come on." "[SCREAMING]" "Is this the part where you get killed?" "Yeah, this is when I get my throat slashed." "Yeah, I'm not watching this." "Can I fix you ladies another drink?" "Yes, please." "Bourbon or vodka?" "You know me better than that." "Bourbon." "Avery, which would you like?" "Oh, [CHUCKLE] oh, um, I can't decide." "Go ahead and surprise me." "OK." "[MUSIC" " HUNTER VALENTINE, "A YOUTHFUL EXISTENCE"]"