"Not only did I have a long distance girlfriend who was pregnant, but I still hadn't found an apartment." "So I was living on my half-acre ...in a tent." "A haunted tent." " Stop stealing our power!" " You are ruining our neighborhood!" "Oh, really, Donna?" "!" "I'm ruining the neighborhood?" "At least I'm quiet!" "Were you guys having sex last night, or raping a baboon?" "!" "I wasn't home last night." "My bad." " I'm gonna beat your ass!" " Donnaagh!" "* Donna beating JD's ass *" "Check out Ted-buddy, don't like to give her a ride, uh?" "Ooh, you bet-cha!" "Over here, perv." "It's for my retirement, so Inid and I can see the country in luxury." " So it's a wheelchair accessable for her, sir?" " Ted, I'm not retiring for at least three years." "If she's still alive, I'll deal with it then." "Now, take the rest of the day off, and get it washed and waxed." "You smell like my mom, meowgr!" "Allright, Mr. Marioni, mazel tov!" "You are the proud owner of yet another kidney stone." " Did you try laying off the red meat, buddy?" " I'm trying Doc, but it's hard." ""I'm in", Kim's having the first ultrasound tomorrow." "Woow, there is nothing like that first ultrasound, bring tissue" "You kid me?" "I can't just up and leave, I gotta find an apartment, I live in a teepee." "DOOORIAN!" "You have been wrong about so many things that I'm not even going to say something's wrong anymore, instead I'm going to say" "It's Dorian!" "And the fact that you'll be willing skip seeing that child's heartbeat for the first time...it's just plain Dorian!" "I mean, hell, Jordan is having her second ultrasound and I couldn't be more giddy" "I can't wait to find out the sex of that unborn tax-break." "Jordan doesn't let you know" " the sex until the baby is born." " Dorian, again!" "That I don't know if it's the hormones or if the baby is actually eating the the bitch-cells but Jordan has...softened." "In fact last night she..." "she ask me to cuddle her." "Is cuddling bad now?" "!" "Baby, I need permission to road trip JD to Tacoma, so he can see his ultrasound." "Sure!" "I think not giving you permission to do this for your friend would be totally Dorian!" "How is this spreading so quickly?" "!" "Gandhi?" "!" "Did you tell Jordan what I said about her wanting to cuddle?" "She doesn't like people to know that she actually cares... for me." "Relax...she's pregnant, what can she possibly do?" " Aaargh!" " Whooo!" "Aaargh!" "Good boy Jack, good boy!" " He can possibly made this "muffle", right?" " Dorian!" "Ooh, Damn it!" "Now I'm doing it." "Careful, he's going feedled." "[Cox is coughing]" "Itasa Team Scrubs proudly presents" "Scrubs" " Season 06 Episode 08 My Road-trip VO subtitles" "Transcript:" "JohnDorian, gi0v3, Teorouge" "Sync: gi0v3, Teorouge" "Revision: gi0v3" "The secret to a great road trip is to get as many people as possible to come along" " So, are you guys in?" " Totally!" "Last road trip I went on was with my sorority sisters and I went to Tijuana." "So, it will be nice to go with people" " who actually like me." " Why are you always so hard on yourself?" " Your sorority sister probably loved you." " Keith, they tried to sell me." "You know Keith?" "If the buyer hadn't been an undercover "Federale"," "Elliott would be a slave somewhere there wouldn't be any unconfortable sexual tension between us  and you and I would probably be best-friends." " Yeah?" " Yeah!" "Keith!" "Oh." "Uhm, we still can't make it...we made plans to find a hangout with my grandma." "Oh, Keith, that woman is 96 years old, there will be plenty of weekend for that." " Road trip!" " This way." "Ok." "You know, you are one special lady, Carla." "It's not every wife that works a full shift, and goes home to change baby's diapers while her husband and his girlfriend spend the weekend mooning truckers and playing slut-boog." " It's not a big deal." " Oh, but it is." "If you keep letting Gandhi do wheter he pleases when ever he pleases, while you take care of the baby, eventually, you're not even gonna have time to shave your legs or groove your face" "thus making the most prominent male figure in your daughter life..." "You." "Adios, Pickle." "As soon as I change out of this clothes, I'm outta here." "I'm going, you're staying." "How d'you do that?" "!" "Gandhi, I'm great at this stuff." "Don't ever talk to Jordan again." "ROAD TRIP!" " Where's chocolate bear?" " Getting to know his daughter!" "I knew that little "ten" baby will eventually ruin everything." " Keith, keep that thing, sweetie." " Uhm, I can't" " Rowdie needs to see the world." " We need a bigger ride." "You guys know where I can find a giant carwash?" "[People laughing] Ooh, right!" "Whoho, I've got friends!" " Hey, cutie!" " Hey!" "Oh, like there's a chance I meant you." "So you're here for your ultrasound, huh?" "I can't believe you cannot let him know the sex, especially when you could..." " No, that's too mean, I couldn't do it." " No, mean is good, er..." "I like mean." "You can learn the sex, not tell Perry, hold it over his head, and play him like your little bitch-boy." "Perry was so wrong about you!" "You're not an idiotic skull-pull-tonic basketball dribbling" "Blood Sugar watching idiotic man-boy!" "Stop, haha... huh huh, this thing is awesome." "Let's roll these Kimonos" "I don't know, but there is" " a stripper pole in the back." " Carla's got some serious moves." "She can even do an inverted spread leg pole spin" "You know that's what they're called, it's not like I...took a pole dancing class or anything." "Nice cover." "Don't touch the Kimonos those are for Dr. Kelso various masseuses" " Ted, who's driving?" " Ooops, my bad." "Maybe I should drive, so we don't all die." "No fants, Ted." "None taken." "I wish that none of us had to drive." "We are cruising at a comfortable speed, Dr. Dorian, and should arrive up to the schedule." " Could you possibly do me a small favor?" " Of course, Jolly 2-3000." "Could you" " rub that spot, off my dashboard?" " You've got it, pal." " Oh, yeah!" "Just point back." " All right." "That's the stuff, you bitch!" "It can get lonely on the road, even for computers." " But this is gonna be great, right?" " I miss my baby...we have to go back." "Now, if we slide the wand over here, we'll se if it's a boy or a girl." " Waiit." "Change of plans, Per." "Beat it!" " No no, no." "You committed to find enough the sex of the child, this time." "Oh yeah, I am gonna find out the sex of the child, but you're not, unless you were gonna retain Jack for the parent-child dancer side-o." "Jordan...the boy already lipsinks into your tampons, must we put a final nail in this tiny gay coffin?" " Moma wants you at her feet." " Tell her she can't do this." "I would, but once she looks at me my inside get all cold." "You're a coward!" "You're a coward!" "Wo-ow...did you re-cage your mouth for some unexpected reason?" "* "Guy Love" ringtone from "My Musical" episode *" " Here, I--here, here..." " I can't do..." "Beardface!" "Can you get your foot go 90ish...yeah." "That a boy!" "Yeah!" "That was awesome!" "...But uncool!" "He's not answering." "Something's wrong with the baby." " I'm telling Elliot to turn over home." " No no no no no." "Calm, my darling." "Everything's fine with the baby, fine with...hey, what's that?" "Waah!" " Now i'll let ya out when ya calm down!" " Open this door, JD!" "And then I realized my dad had hugged me at my graduation, not with his arms, you know, but with his brain." " Keith!" "Come and give me company, I'm lonely." " Yeah, you know who else is lonely?" " My grandma!" " No, she's not, Keith." "She's a lesbian and nursing homefold old ladies." "You do the math." "We can solve both our problems, if we can get" " My grand mother together with your mom." " Excuse me?" "!" "My mother sleeps with men, i've seen it!" " Hey calm down, mama's boy!" " Bring it on, Tall on 60!" " Kick his ass, Ted!" "That's enough!" "You guys can't get along, so sit down and don't talk!" "Ain't meant to do that." " What are you doing here?" " I'll tell you what i wasn't doing here." "I was not taking a nap on company time in Dr.Kelso's mobile home." "Not this guy..." "Yaaawn!" "Back to work." " I don't think he knew we were moving." " Elliot, stop!" "So can i stop squeezing our bratz, or is it another stupid boy?" "Oh-oh." "Excuse me for a second." "Oh-oh?" "!" "Don't say "oh-oh"..." " ...on a road trip right now?" " There's a little bit between road trip and" " I'm sorry, on a road trip right now..." " telling 'bout your..." "Follow him." "He said "oh-oh"." " Ok." "I'll get you up." " Wow haw-wow how." " He's fine." "Let's get going." " Look at us." "I hurt my ankle, Ted may have a broken arm, ant the janitor is blind." " Who's making pancakes?" " See?" "he's great, and so's Ted." "Waaaah Aaaagh!" "Ooh...i think it popped back in the joint" "You guys, Turk told me how amazing it was when he saw Izzy's ultrasound." "Can I say something?" "I don't know this young man." "I wish I did." "I admire his spirit, and if he says we must continue onward, then I say, I am in!" "There are lot of times in life when you just have to take control." "Hey, give me those keys..." "I'm driving." "Next stop..." "Kim tell." "Of course, sometimes control is taken away from you." "You have to operate on my baby" " while it's still in the womb?" " Well, there's a urinary tract obstruction which ould be blocking the amniotic fluid." "We need to place a shunt." "I gotta talk to Jordan." "* "Guy Love" ringtone *" " Mickhead!" "Giveme my phone." " It's mine." "Oh, really?" "Does yours have a picture of Carla in the background?" "Ha!" "Trick question!" "Mine's got Tyra Banks, see?" "!" " Shello?" " Baby?" "I got Turk." "And sometimes, just not as a control as you think you are." "Aah...that tunnel looks kinda small." "Chill out, Ted." "Why would they build a tunnel that a RV wouldn't fit?" "Admittedly, the tunnel was more narrow than I thought, but the damage wasn't too bad." "Keith just had to stop accidentally making the "please-hunk-your-horn" signs to passing truckers." " What, for God's steak?" "!" " I was stretching!" "Four aces, I win!" "I only got a six of clubs...i win." " Ok, babe, bye." "There's a problem with Jordan's ultrasound." "This is our best chance to restore normal function" " and then minimize the damage to the lungs." " Fine, but I wanna be in there." "You know we can't allow family members in the OR." " You gotta be in there for me." " Don't you see I got a baby" " grabbed to my chest?" " Fine." " Now can you?" " First off, I'm not a neonatal surgeon." "Second, you ruined my road trip, and you just gave my baby to Rochelle." "The only nurse to get kicked out of a nursery for using a baby as a ventriloquist dummy" " I don't buy things paint." " That's because you haven't found someone who's doing it right!" "Give me that!" "What's the matter with you?" "Gandhi!" "You'd damn sure want somebody in there, if it was your kid." "Come on, just do it!" "Knock it off, Rochelle." "Hey guys, there's the hospital." "Keith, wake up sweetie, we're here." "Yes!" "I haven't seen a truck!" "Well, how are you going to get home?" "I don't know, I'll rent a car or something." "Go to care Dr. Cox." "Tell him Gladis is thinking of him." "He knows it's me." "Good luck." "Farewell, stranger." "I shall toast you with my hearties ?" "white?" "." "Maybe he should lie down." "Turkleton, if I let you assist on that surgery," "I would be breaking every hospital protocol." "And you know damn well that I would never be that inappropriate." "Oh, thanks Sugar Boobs." "Lucky for you, I am a man in need." "Enid asked me to get her tickets to see Al Green, for birthday." "I forgot, now they're sold out." "Can you call him for me?" "Sir?" "Do you think I know Al Green just because I'm black?" "Plan B. Also lucky for you." "Inid has gone blind from glaucoma." " Now..." " Oh..." " Here's what I need." "In life, it's never easy to know what's waiting for you, on the other side of that door." "Surprise!" "Oh my God, J.D.!" "Come with me for a second, it's a game." " Everything is gonna be OK." " I know." "Jordan?" "I love you." "Sometimes you find the moment that knocks you on your ass." "How's our baby doing, eh?" "J.D., I had a miscarriage." "Other times, it just takes your breath away." "Wow!" "Hey!" "So everything went great." "Yeah, Jordan and the baby are fine." "Fair enough." "That?" "That's it?" "Yep." "Ok, I don't know about you but when I get great news," "I like to show some form of emotion." "Like when I graduate at Med School." "I went all Billie Ocean dance and all over like "Hmmm"." "And then, when Izzy was born, tried the wedge armswing." "Look, you know as well as I do, that no kids who had surgery before it's even born, is just gonna pop out into the world without any... without any problems." "In 3 months it's gonna have grown that shunt... and we're gonna have to go through this all thing all over again, so you're gonna have to excuse me if I'm... not celebrating." "The baby's gonna be fine." "And just how can you be so sure of that?" "Because that little thing grabbed my finger so tight, and wouldn't let go." "Perry." "She's strong." "She?" "Yeah, daddy." "I should have told you earlier." "I, just, I didn't wanna do that on the phone, and..." "You OK?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "It's kinda weird, there was this... thing." "That I never met." "And now it's gone, I kinda miss it." "I know." "When I was hurrying, looking for to do all those parent things you hear about, you know like... changing diapers, first steps, play and catch." "Turk was getting even, teach me how to throw like a guy, so... ?" "Last time it was a girl, who I saw that can throw like yourself.?" "Can I ask you something?" "Were we just staying together 'cause we were having a kid?" "No." "No, come on." "Come back for me and see in a couple of month we're gonna pick right where we left off." "I mean, I guess it'll be a little more casual." "We probably shouldn't talk there was, we're wearing full body condoms." "What if I wasn't coming back because they offered me a permanent position here?" "Do they?" "Yeah." "We said the almighty talk might lead to everything, how we felt about each other, what that we wanted since this relationship, whether she would ever see herself come back to Sacred Heart, wait a pizza place to deliver to avenge at 3 in the morning." "They would." "And, at the end of it all, we both realized that without a baby in the picture, the best thing to do was to say goodbye." "Stay friends and hope that our paths cross again." "Someday." "So then I took a 900$ cab ride home, and voila', here I am." "Oh, J.D., that sucks." "I'm so sorry." "Bummer!" "Now why am I back in here again?" "Cause I couldn't wait to rub a little jelly on your treaty trail." "No, I have to see if your kidney stones has dissolved yet." " J.D.!" " Ahah!" "I always do that." "So do I." "There really are two kinds of surprises:" "the good ones, that makes everything OK," "It's a girl." "We're having a baby girl!" "And the bad ones, that makes you mad." "That's Poppa's Pleasure Palace." "Looks great, Teddy." "I'm going on vacation." "Viador!" "All right, let's take a look." "And I can never be mad at Kim for giving me a bad surprise." "Everything looks healthy." "See?" "Here's your baby's heartbeat." "Wow." "Beacuse at least she was straight to me."