"THE VIZIER'S FINGER" "All Characters in This Story Are Entirely Fictitious" "Only God stands alone." "The girls in our village are withering away day by day." "I feel sorry for them." "They don't deserve this." "It can't go on like this." "Our women are not doing well." "They are all miserable." "I really don't know what we can do." "Safiye, I am unhappy about this too, and we need to find a solution." "When I see them so sad and gloomy, it breaks my heart." "We should ask the men in the village for advice." "If you brought me here for the same reason, send me back immediately." "Grandpa, please don't." "You have travelled everywhere and experienced many things." "You buried three wives." "Pay attention to us a little, please." "What?" "I don't understand what you're saying." "You are looking for trouble again." "Yes, we are asking for it, but we are not getting it." "Who is the "bandit"?" "Girls, watch your tongue." "What do you mean by that, Dilbeste?" "You did all kinds of things." "Is it considered a shame only when we do it?" "What did we do, you suckling cow?" "Don't make me mad!" "I'll tear out your hair!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "This is neither wrong nor shameful anymore." "It's unbearable now!" "Unbearable!" "Unbearable!" "We want to get married and be happy too, right?" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Don't we have the right to give birth and become mothers?" "We do!" "We do!" "Are we going to "God"?" "Grandpa Ali!" "You always go deaf when you don't want to hear something." "Did you say that the cattle are here?" "Ibis, please take me away." "Grandpa Ali!" "Look over here!" "Why don't you hear our voices?" "Don't make me bring the old Nurdane back." "Look, my silence is out of my respect." "Now, I'm speaking for the last time." "This is a dire situation." "My daughters and our womenfolk need some peace in the village." "They need husbands!" "Do they need a "teacher"?" "Oh!" "He is of no use from top to bottom." "He's talking nonsense." "Why do they need a teacher?" "We all will have an affair with the teacher." "Grandpa Ali, please show us the right way as an elder person." "What shall I show you?" "God forgive me." "If only I had the strength..." "I'd know what to do with you." "Oh my God!" "This old geezer has no conscience!" "What kind of a person is he?" "Listen to me." "If we ask help from Grandpa Ali, we'll never be happy." "We need to find a solution for this issue." "You're right." "People used to bury baby girls alive in the past." "If we trust this old geezer, our daughters will be buried alive." "If he makes me mad again, I would bring up the past, and enslave all the guys in the district, but I'm not the person I used to be." "Mom, we'll be left to rot in this village!" "We are tapped out." "We are doing men's work." "Is it fair?" "My heart doesn't beat anymore." "It's wasting away day by day." "Herding the animals, plowing the vineyards and orchards..." "My beauty is gradually wearing off!" "Look at me!" "I want kids." "I want to become a mother and a wife." "Enough is enough!" "Why would I need a huge mansion if I don't have a husband?" "Why would I need a field or a plower?" "Why would I need a house?" "Tell me!" "We'll keep grinding our gears for this village!" "We just want husbands!" "Isn't there anybody in this village who understands how we feel?" "That's right!" "Women!" "Sisters!" "Hey, you tramps!" "Listen to me now." "I have an idea." "What?" "Let's share our problem with the state, not with that cold fish Ali." "And?" "Who is the most powerful person after the sultan, who is our fellow townsman?" "The Vizier." "Look!" "This is true!" "If we tell our problem to our grand vizier in a proper way..." "And say that we want to make babies for our country, this might be the solution our women need." "What will we say to the honorable grand vizier?" ""We are horny and want to get married." "Please send us some studs to have babies with." Is that it?" "Right, the vizier will leave all his important duties and search for men for us, huh?" "Are you kidding me?" "Women!" "Women!" "Pay attention to us now." "Did the infidels not kill Gulbahar's parents and our relatives?" "They did." "Did our husbands, fathers and twelve or thirteen-year-old sons not fight to save the homeland?" "They did." "Did they not sacrifice their lives to protect our sultan and the Muslims?" "They did." "Did our martyr warriors not leave behind grieving, tearful mothers and wives?" "They did." "Did anybody among the 56 men come back?" "No, they didn't." "We feel that our vizier will find a solution for this problem." "Nobody will be able to gossip about it because of fear." "People are having difficult times." "They too have the right to love, to become mothers, and raise dutiful children for our empire." "We'll do everything possible for these villagers who are my countrymen." "But who will be charged with this duty..." "My vizier." "Mustesna, you don't have any relatives, right?" "I don't, my vizier." "I'll assign you a crucial duty." "We're always ready for our vizier's orders." "But you'll have to leave Istanbul for this duty." "This duty has to be kept in strict confidence." "Yes, my vizier." "You must find five men to accompany you for this mission." "Yes, my vizier." "You're going to a village and there is a magistrate in the district." "Keep an eye on the magistrate, Mustesna." "Yes, my vizier." "My vizier, if you need me, I will also go to that village happily." "Denizens!" "Our master is coming!" "Make way!" "Make way!" "Listen, denizens of the town!" "We came here by the command of the vizier who is the servant of our sultan." "We came here with Mustesna Pasha, who is the governor of Baghdad, to select, not porters, but five warriors to take on the road of no return." "Yes, sir." "What pasha?" "Be cool, father." "They are both porters and very naÃ¯ve people." "Here, sir." "We'll offer our lives for our sultan and our homeland." "We will!" "We are at our sultan's service!" "We are!" "We are ready to go to war!" "We are!" "Honorable pasha, please pick me, for God's sake." "I'm ready to be a martyr." "Pasha, please pick me first if you are recruiting for the army." "Denizens!" "Your love for our sultan and our state deserves respect." "But now, follow me to the inn." "Alright." "For this crucial duty, you'll need to divide into two groups: single and married." "Now, the married ones who have children, go back to your initial places." "Now, those from the Black Sea region and Caucasia, divide as a group; the Kurds and Zazas as a group;" "the Arabs and Persians as a group those living on the coast, the Rumelians and Thracians, as a group;" "...and those from Anatolia and the nomads, as another group." "What is your name, son?" "Nazik, sir." "Iâ€™m from Kayseri." "Move over there." "Pasha, I'd like to die on the battlefront for my country instead of dying here." "I'd like to take you with me, but it seems that you've already completed your duty for your country." "May God give you a long life." "What is your name, son?" "Hamdullah, sir." "I'm from Diyarbakir." "You too, move over there." "Yes, sir." "What is your name, son?" "I'm from Erzurum and I'm the brother of all people." "I'm Ekmelettin the Arabian, sir, your majesty." "You too, move over there." "Yes, sir." "What is your name?" "Hizir, sir." "I'm from the Black Sea region." "You too." "Yes, sir." "My dear Ahmet." "It's the same duty." "Does it matter who is doing it?" "What is your name?" "Dilaver, sir." "We came from the Balkans." "I'm from the Thrace!" "You too, move over there." "Yes, sir." "Now, make your preparations and say your goodbyes to your friends as you'll never see them again." "We'll set off in ten days." "Takbir!" "Allah is the greatest!" "Takbir!" "Allah is the greatest!" "Takbir!" "Allah is the greatest!" "Denizens, everybody should give as much as they can for these warriors will sacrifice their lives in battle for us." "Let's do it." "Fahriye, I'm now here as a state officer given special authority assigned by the vizier." "I've been working for him for 40 years." "Why didn't he ask me if I would want to go or not?" "Okay, I'll go, but who will shovel the snow over my dear Fahriye?" "Who will clear the weeds?" "Why am I going, you ask?" "Well..." "To act as some kind of breeder..." "It's some kind of pimping." "I'll take the men for breeding and bring them to a village." "Give me your blessings." "I came here to say goodbye." "Kamil, are you crazy?" "Is the vizier really dealing with this?" "Why is he trying to find men for those women?" "Cumali, choose your words carefully." "Don't make me mad." "The women's husbands died at war." "Please be a little understanding." "What else could those miserable women do?" "They felt so desperate." "Kamil, maybe I can also find my love, my precious, my sweetheart, my darling there." "We need to leave everything behind and go to that village." "Mustesna, I'm grateful for everything." "Please accept my gift." "Thank you, Bazancirzade Yusuf." "Give me your blessings." "They are yours." "Wow." "I have been in this palace for 45 years." "Unbelievable." "Sir, hello." "Hi." "We heard that you're looking for people." "What do you mean?" "We came here as soon as we heard that there was a job for us." "Sir, you can't find anyone better than us in the matter of women." "We are the best." "We have never missed any of them until now." "No matter who you send there, they will eventually mess things up." "Guys, show a little respect." "I don't know who told you this, but there is no such thing." "We made our choice." "May God bless you." "Thank you, old man." "You're welcome." "When did we become such a gossiping community?" "If my late mom could see that I joined the army, she would cry." "Yes, man." "Apparently, being a martyr for our country is our fate." "Most of my friends from the orphanage became martyrs." "We will kill the fathers of these infidels." "We will smash their heads." "Those enemies will see." "They will see!" "They will see!" "Brothers." "We are going to the front, but I don't know how to use a rifle." "Me neither." "Well, how are we going to fight?" "I don't know either." "They will teach us." "Am I supposed to fire a rifle too?" "You will, Hamdullah." "My late father knew well how to fire a rifle." "He used to aim like this..." "The pasha's men are coming." "Peace be upon you." "And upon you, peace." "And upon you, peace." "Are you ready, warriors?" "Yes, we are!" "Yes, we are." "Which front are we going to?" "You're going to a very harsh, challenging front." "You don't say!" "Is it in Moscow or the Arabian lands?" "So, it's a very desperate situation." "I wish you the best of luck." "Guys, becoming a martyr is our fate." "The mothers of these infidels..." "Come on, guys." "Come on." "It's time to set off." "Let's go." "Get going." "Come on." "Dilaver, are we really going to travel in the pasha's carriage?" "I don't know." "Be quiet." "He's here." "Guys, give us your blessings." "They are yours, pasha." "I wish we could go with you." "Today, I'm feeling kind of blue." "I wish we could set off with you." "Pasha, take pity on them." "Brave men are hard to come by in this age." "Let them go to war." "I agree." "The love of homeland by which I am enslaved is very precious." "Please, think again." "Stay out of this, guys." "Of course." "Of course, pasha." "Kamil, Cumali, you know, this is a special assignment." "I can't bring more than five people." "There is nothing to do." "Destiny chose them." "Then, have a safe trip and take care of yourself, pasha." "Okay." "Let's go." "We need to get going." "Goodbye." "Oh, dear..." "I can't bear saying goodbye." "Take care." "Goodbye." "Sir, don't feel sad." "We will fight on your behalf." "Don't forget to lubricate your rifles." "Okay, we won't!" "Girls, I had a very beautiful dream last night." "What was it?" "What was it?" "Well, I was in a heaven like place." "Peace be upon you, ladies." "And upon you!" "Oh, Gulbahar." "The sultan of sultans." "Just say "yes", I'll dedicate my life to you, my quiet Gulbahar." "Kudbettin, do you really think that you can marry her with your 3 wives and 12 kids?" "That has nothing to do with this." "And it's allowed in our religion." "Three or four, does it matter?" "Everybody has three, four or five wives." "Oh, beautiful Gulbahar." "Once..." "Just once..." "What are you saying, weasel face?" "I just want to hear her voice." "We couldn't make her talk 25 years, how are you going to do it?" "God damn you." "God damn you." "Kudbettin, you can't marry anyone from this village." "First, go deal with your own wives." "Yes." "Look at yourselves." "You all became old maids." "I'm getting laid all the time!" "Kiss my ass!" "Kiss my ass!" "You can only shit with those fat asses!" "By the way, Zerafet, yours is actually not that bad." "Here you go, ladies." "The magistrate told me to send the news immediately." "This is not an issue that concerns you." "We'll inform the magistrate himself when we see him." "You must have work to do, Kudbettin." "Go ahead." "You used to treat me with great respect whenever I came to this village." "But now, you want me gone." "What happened?" "Listen!" "What?" "Cut it out." "Good riddance, Kudbettin." "I'm leaving now, but I will tell everything to the magistrate." "Look at me!" "Don't make me mad." "I'll tear you apart." "And say hello to that lecher magistrate." "Nurdane, what are you saying?" "What are you trying to do?" "How can you say these words to the holy magistrate?" "Whenever he hears the word "woman", he appears immediately." "He is such a pig." "What kind of people are you?" "How can you badmouth the magistrate?" "Don't you know that he is such a holy man?" "We don't." "I know all the people around." "I don't understand when this magistrate became a holy man." "I don't know what kind of a magistrate he is, but he's certainly not a holy man." "Nurdane, you're committing a sin!" "They say the magistrate mixed two different waters in public." "And the water turned white!" "White!" "Most of the people who drank that white water saw the companions, the angels and al-Khidr in their dreams." "Is there any news?" "Yes, there is." "I hope it's good news." "Finally." "I'm so curious." "Oh my God, please hear me." "Hear our pleas." "Let's go quick and hear the news." "My God, please end this suffering." ""We have assigned six warriors for you." "The warriors have set off." "May God's greetings be upon you."" "Peace be upon you!" "Peace be upon you!" "Upon you, peace!" "Enjoy your meal." "Pasha, when are we supposed to be on the front?" "I'm not a pasha, Hizir." "Why are you talking like that, pasha?" "We know that you're a pasha." "Or are you a secret pasha?" "You were sitting on the back of that carriage like a sultan." "Was that all a lie?" "Guys, would I come with you if I were a pasha?" "Would you?" "No, I wouldn't." "Right, you wouldn't." "Then, honorable pasha, what is you?" "I'm a specially authorized state officer charged with bringing you to your post of duty." "Really?" "Yes." "Oh my dear pasha, with a lovely mustache." "An officer is almost an equal to pasha, right?" "Sure!" "So, who are we going to fight with, pasha?" "Guys, I've just told you that I'm not a pasha." "Well, we got used to calling you pasha." "We can no longer call you anything else, right?" "Now, hear me out and listen to me carefully, guys." "Our state put each of you on salary from the treasury." "So, you are all state officers now." "Ekmelettin, this jerk fainted again." "Nazik!" "Move aside!" "Move aside!" "In the name of God..." "What are you doing, guys?" "You shouldn't slap a fainting man." "We need to slap him." "This asshole never wakes up without a slap." "I apologize, pasha." "God..." "Thank God." "Did I hear that right, brothers?" "Yes, Nazik." "That's right." "You're not porters anymore." "You're the officers of these lands, this country and this state." "How much is our salary?" "Your honorable magistrate!" "This heathen introduces himself as a sheikh, and tells that he is healing people by spitting into Muslim people's mouths." "And he collects coins by dashing out charms." "100 strokes, and confinement for 6 months." "This is the penalty for deceiving people using religion." "Sir!" "Your honor!" "Please don't do this to me!" "Aren't we Brothers?" "Your honor." "This thief stole 3 gold coins from a shopkeeper in front of 60 witnesses." "Behold!" "I swear, I didn't!" "It's a lie!" "According to the Islamic law, this thief's hand shall be cut off as a warning to others." "Your honorable magistrate." "In our district of Bursa, this heathen stole exactly 200 horses and 15 thousand coins which belonged to our state." "Is that so?" "I swear that they're wrongly accusing me, your honor." "Our Prophet Muhammad who was sent as a mercy to mankind said that:" ""I swear by God that even if my daughter Fatima were to steal, I would cut off her hands."" "All these poor people work and pay their taxes, but you steal what the Muslim people have." "Is that so?" "People like you need to be killed!" "Let's cut off the head of this dirty, dishonest thief who robbed the state!" "Your honor, please have mercy!" "I kept everything I stole!" "I never touched them!" "I'll return them all if you forgive me!" "I didn't understand." "What did you say?" "I kept what I stole in a village." "I swear, I'll give them all back." "Hold on, God is making him speak." "Your honor..." "Believe me, I have lots of expenses." "Can I keep one fifth of it?" "You heathen!" "Am I taking all these for myself?" "Would I ever get something illegally?" "Never, your honor!" "Everybody knows how you help the dervish lodges, the madrasas and the poor." "Please don't be upset, your honor!" "There you are!" "Now, you're talking!" "Set this man free!" "God bless you." "Set him free!" "God bless you." "Set him free!" "Abdulcabbar, bring the goods to my lodge." "Yes, sir." "Your honorable magistrate." "I saw a lot of beautiful maidens in the village that I visited today." "Do you want me to continue?" "Beautiful maidens?" "God is the greatest." "Tell me more, Kudbettin." "Sir, I've never seen such beautiful broads in my life." "Kudbettin, you pimp, why am I not aware of this village?" "I figured that you would be busy." "Kudbettin, if I were informed about these ladies, would I still stay here among these hairy jerks?" "If the vizier sent news to that village, there should be an important situation." "Abdulcabbar, make the preparations." "We're going to the village." "Yes, your honor." "I heard from Kudbettin that there is a village with very beautiful women." "Forget about the village." "200 horses and 15 thousand coins are going to be sent, and you'll receive them in the lodge." "Brother..." "Please forget about the coins and stuff." "I have many horses, but no woman." "Please take me with you." "I may end up with one of them." "You idiot." "You'll receive the goods at the lodge secretly." "Don't make me mad." "You're not allowed to have a woman until you stop being an idiot." "The warriors will come here." "Then, we'll have no fever." "The suffering of many years Will end very soon." "My dearest." "My precious." "Oh, my loneliness..." "My dearest." "My precious." "Oh, my loneliness..." "Congratulations, girls." "They're finally coming." "What kind of a man do you want, Kadriye?" "A tall and brunette man." "Feride, yours?" "A true gentleman, And a proper man." "Zerafet, what about yours?" "A rough man who makes my back ache, And slams me against the walls." "All what we want is a gentleman." "We'd die for a man." "Ganimet, Sadiye..." "What about yours?" "I want a ruffian" "Who won't let me sleep Kissing me every night." "I want a big one, like an animal." "I want 3, 5 or 9 husbands." "I'll be his poodle." "He can make me bark." "He can rough me up as he likes." "Oh, my quiet Gulbahar." "What about yours?" "Girls, look here!" "We are having fun and all, but what if these guys turn out to be ugly?" "Then what?" "As the vizier said, they are sending the most important warriors of Istanbul." "I'm even more curious now." "God knows what kind of men they're sending us." "The grand vizier would never send useless men from Istanbul." "It doesn't matter whatever they sent." "I'm all in." "Never mind!" "It doesn't matter, but they have to come right away." "I'm burning up!" "Women, there is no such thing as an ugly man." "It's enough if he looks like a man." "Every person God creates is beautiful." "Women, let's have a good bath before the guys arrive." "Oh, my dear!" "I'm hitting the deserts at dawn!" "The deserts, my dear!" "The deserts, my dear!" "The deserts." "My dear, the deserts." "I see a lion roaring." "I see a hyena sucking blood." "I see the wavy ocean." "I see a djinn, I see life." "I see a ghost in a tomb." "I see all sorts of floods, All sorts of wild animals." "But I'm not scared." "I'm not scared, my dear, not scared." "Oh, my dear!" "With my fearlessness..." "I swear, my dear, I swear, my dear..." "Wherever I see a bigot, Wherever I see a fanatic," "Wherever I see a mullah, I'm scared, I swear, I'm scared." "From their changing opinions, From their two-faced statements," "I'm scared, my dear, I'm scared." "I'm scared, my dear, I'm scared." "Beautiful, you said, huh?" "Kudbettin, take these women and shove them up your ass." "You'll pay for this." "The magistrate Abdulcelilzade is gracing us with his presence." "Don't growl!" "These women are so old that their bodies will be torn to shreds, and they will die because of your growlth." "Welcome, your honorable magistrate." "I heard that you aren't sharing the news from our vizier with your magistrate." "Never, your honor." "We didn't hide anything." "Sir, I swear that they're lying." "They said:" ""Who the hell is this magistrate?"" "Is that so?" "Soldiers, take these sluts and the others right now, and punish them with foot whipping." "Run!" "Did he say "salad"?" "I didn't get it." "Whip!" "Whip!" "Now, tell me the truth." "What did the vizier say?" "Whip!" "Whip!" "Stop..." "My God, I'm coming to you." "My eyes are dazzled, my ass is frazzled." "I feel like peeing warmly." "Am I about to die?" "God is the greatest." "Behold!" "Your honorable magistrate!" "Shut up, Abdulcabbar." "Don't growl." "Your honor, how can you punish faithful women like us with foot whipping and call us sluts?" "Woman, do I know what I'm doing?" "Soldiers, help them get up right now." "Look, protecting and guarding women is our duty according to the religion." "Our prophet says:" ""Heaven lies under the feet of our mothers."" "It really seems so." "From now on, this village will be my new household." "I'll administer the district from here." "Your honor, we'd like to drink some of your white water too." "Are you sick?" "We want it just for healing." "Alright." "Look at the sky tonight." "You'll see God's light." "Only God wills those who can see the light, and who can feel the wrath." "God is merciful." "God is wise." "We'll drink it." "He'll give it to us." "His neck is about to break, but he talks as if he can send light." "If he were able to work a miracle, he would change his look." "The poor are starving, yet, there are corrupt people like him." "I hope their necks break and their heads fall off their bodies." "Amen!" "I'm still so surprised." "What a change..." "Have we really become important state officers?" "Pasha also said that we would receive salary, right?" "Yes." "Nazik, what are we?" "Porters." "What is a porter?" "Poor." "What is poor?" "Hungry." "What is hungry?" "Needy." "What is needy?" "Desperate." "What is desperate?" "Weak." "What is weak?" "Unable." "What is unable?" "I couldn't find an answer for that." "Nazik, we'll die on the front anyway." "Does it matter if we receive this salary or not?" "I feel this pasha is playing a bad joke on us, brothers." "Guys, there is something fishy about this, I'm telling you." "Let's go and ask the pasha." "Yes, let's ask him." "Come on." "Come on, let's move." "Come on." "Pasha, may God give you a long life." "We'd like to ask you something." "Go ahead and ask, gentlemen." ""Gentlemen"!" "Oh, my dear pasha, please don't call us that!" "Pasha, for God's sake, please tell us if a porter can ever become an officer." "Never." "Never." "I'm telling you this for the last time." "You are officers on salary." "This is the end of the discussion." "And don't ever call me "pasha" again." "Pasha, do you hear what are you saying?" "We were porters, then soldiers." "We were soldiers, then warriors." "We were warriors, then officers." "But we're still porters." "He's right." "How can we..." "You're officers." "Pasha, if this is really true, I will be short of breath, and my lungs will get loose." "Pasha, you're such a kidder." "Look at me!" "Does a pasha ever joke?" "Never!" "Never!" "Does a pasha ever lie?" "Never!" "Pashas never joke or lie." "Gentlemen..." "I'll be angry with you." "You should take this seriously." "Look, I'll give you very important and great news." "You'll have a salary, a household, even vineyards and orchards." "Girls, I don't believe that these warriors will come here." "I hope nothing bad happens to them." "Don't say that!" "Bite your tongue, you fake beauty!" "Nurdane, I want to ask you something." "Go ahead, my beautiful Feride." "You would know." "What is this thing called love?" "What does it look like?" "Can it be described?" "Sure, Feride." "Love starts with the eyes, continues on the lips, flourishes in the heart, and unites you forever by marriage." "Nurdane." "What about marriage?" "What is it like?" "Let's not speak about it!" "Come on!" "Tell us." "Okay, I'll describe it too." "On the first days, which is the honeymoon, one is on top of the other." "Then, it becomes back to back." "And, finally you say "move over"." "I hope you'll all be very happy." "Amen!" "Well, 23 women want to get married." "And 6 men are coming." "How are we going to solve this?" "Yes." "Girls, then 3 to 4 women will marry each man." "It sounds good, but there are virgins, widows, beautiful ones and ugly ones." "God, forgive me for thinking this." "So, there are all kinds." "What are we going to do now?" "That's what I am saying!" "Women, each man will have one widow in addition to one virgin." "One beautiful in addition to one ugly." "Thin, fat, tall, short..." "I'll deal with everything as long as these men finally arrive here." "God!" "God!" "God is the greatest!" "Oh, God is the greatest." "Was that the last one?" "Yes." "Did you fire all the fireworks?" "Yes, all of them." "After that light, the magistrate will rip those faithful women off." "This son of an infidel is never satisfied." "The dishonest jerk will die one day." "Where will all those ill-gotten goods go?" "Bastard!" "You'll always need to be flirtatious and skillful, just like concubines." "Take after your mother." "All the warriors and ministers proposed to me." "Your mother was the talk of the town." "But I fell in love with your bastard father when I met him." "Mom, please don't call my deceased father that." "First, tell us this:" "Will those warriors like us?" "Oh, they will love you." "Just do as I say." "They can't find anyone more precious than you in this village." "Mom, as a religious matter, we need to ask you something as your daughters." "Do you want to get married too?" "My daughters, I'll eventually marry." "God willing." "Mom!" "What?" "You know the magistrate." "What about the magistrate?" "It would be good if he married you." "We all saw the magistrate's miracles." "Right?" "He is such a holy man." "Did you compare our honest holy men to that magistrate?" "Magistrate, my ass." "This charlatan shows fireworks invented by the Chinese people to us as God's light." "That con artist can't sell his tricks to your mother." "Mom, why did you not tell the elders that the magistrate is a charlatan?" "My dear, what are you saying?" "They believe this deceitful magistrate is al-Khidr." "They never stopped praying no matter what I said." "Mom, you know what, the magistrate is about to die anyway." "If we find an opportunity, that is, if the magistrate becomes our father..." "And?" "Then, we'll own everything." "We'll have power, prestige, gold, emeralds, velvets, lands and soldiers." "We need to side with the powerful to avoid being weak with the weak." "Power brings money, but money doesn't bring power." "Look at these little trollops." "Where did you learn all those things?" "From you." "From you." "The magistrate, huh?" "The deceitful magistrate." "I swear, I'll make you pay for deceiving those naÃ¯ve old women." "Guys, look." "What are they?" "I can't even imagine what the enemies look like, if they have rocks like that." "We need to watch our backs just to be safe." "Are you done, guys?" "Are you ready to get back on the road?" "Yes, pasha!" "Yes, pasha!" ""Pasha"?" "Are you crazy?" "Are you really crazy?" "You will not call me "pasha" once we get there." "Okay, pasha." "Okay, pasha." "What did I just say?" "What did you say, pasha?" "Did I not say "don't call me pasha"?" "Yes, you did." ""Yes, you did."" "Don't call me "pasha", for God's sake." "I'm not a pasha, okay?" "Okay, pasha!" "Okay?" "Okay, pasha!" "Okay?" "Okay, pasha!" "Leave the "pasha"!" "Lift the pasha!" "Guys, what are you doing?" "You said "lift", pasha." "Put me down." "Put me down!" "Put the pasha down." "God knows what to do with you." "My God, give me patience." "Move it!" "Kamil, do you think that I can find the love of my life in that village?" "Cumali, if we go slowly like this, those porters will get there before us." "They will choose the best women, and the worst ones will be left for us." "God, please see us and change our luck." "Kamil, put your hands up." "God, you ordered us to pray five times a day!" "We prayed!" "We prayed!" "You ordered fasting." "We fasted!" "We fasted!" "You ordered giving alms." "We gave!" "What else?" "We never gambled!" "We never drank alcohol!" "We never gossipped!" "We weren't unfair!" "We never fornicated!" "Pilgrimage..." "We haven't gone on pilgrimage yet." "No, we haven't." "We will." "Yes, we will." "God is perfect." "Oh, my sweetheart." "Since I was honored with your beauty, my love for you..." "What are you saying, Cumali?" "I'm rehearsing for the owner of my heart." "Forget about the rehearsal." "We're already late." "Women, you need to be very skillful." "What is the thing called "beauty"?" "Beauty is the garments that you wear." "I think all men are the same old shit." "All of them have to be destroyed." "But most importantly, most men are good, but they are still idiots." "Women..." "I think we have to keep these men pleased." "Since my husband fell a martyr I learned how it feels not to have a husband." "Gulbahar." "What do you think about marriage?" "Oh, my dear orphan." "We got married." "You are the only one who never got married." "It would be so nice if you just speak." "Have you washed, pashas?" "Pasha?" "You made me confused." "He said "pashas"." "Alright." "Come on." "Our destination is behind that hill." "Pasha, there is no sound of fighting coming from the front." "Yes, there is no sound." "It's prayer time." "They must be taking a break." "Guys, we need to prepare now." "I'll go and bring your clothes." "Military uniforms will look great on us." "We'll have rifles and swords too, but I'm not sure how." "Of course, Nazik." "A soldier looks cool." "If he is cool, he is strong." "If he is strong, he is brave." "If he is brave, he is a true man." "If he is a true man, he is nice." "If he is nice, he is neat." "If he is neat, he is obedient." "If he is obedient, he is clean." "If he is clean, how is he?" "How is he?" "How is he?" "How is he?" "Why are you yelling?" "What a crazy man!" "Here, these are your clothes." "Pasha, they're civilian clothes, right?" "Yes." "Pasha, we were supposed to be soldiers." "Did you change your mind?" "Who told you that you would be soldiers?" "You." "You." "Does an officer ever wear a soldier's uniform?" "Does he?" "He doesn't, of course." "Soldiers wear soldier uniforms, right?" "I get it now!" "We'll be spies for the state." "Pasha..." "Am I going to be a spy too?" "Hamdullah, what is a spy?" "A spy is just a spy." "He is an ordinary person like us." "Really?" "A spy is a soldier." "Guys, listen to me carefully." "Don't you ever call me "pasha" when we get there, okay?" "Okay, pasha!" "Okay, pasha!" "Tighten this and my waist will look thinner." "You'll tighten my waist too, okay?" "Okay, I'll do it." "Girls, I'm so excited." "Fortunately, my waist is thin." "Just like a glass." "He will see a thin waist for the first time in his life." "Meftune, you look great, but I wish God would have made you a bit taller." "Camels are tall, so what?" "Short is intelligent, tall is idiot." "Tall is better on the street, short is better in bed." "You're talking too much." "Neither short nor tall." "A woman should be a little chubby." "It doesn't matter how you look." "It is experience that matters." "Of course, you should know how to do it." "Ladies, listen to me now." "Come here." "We'll have enough men for all of us." "Surely, there is always a woman who brings a man to his knees." "This might be his mother or his wife." "I'll deal with my warrior gently, without scaring him off." "First, I will flirt and make him fall in love with me." "In any case, the men will be short of breath when they see us." "Just that, Sadiye?" "They will be captivated." "You can do whatever you want." "The warriors will not be able to take their eyes off of us." "There will be nothing left for the others after they see us, because the light will be gone out of their eyes." "Don't make me get up." "What are you saying?" "Skinny witches." "Girls!" "You're talking too much." "I haven't said my final word yet." "We'll see who will be the winner." "Oh, you and your outstanding beauty!" "Come on!" "Let's have fun!" "Come on girls, let's swim!" "I'm willing to be their dog, donkey or horse!" "Here is what they call heaven!" "They are the cream of the crop." "There are some camels too, but they are useful for winters, Cumali." "Kamil, I became speechless, my heart flew away." "All of these women are great and lovely." "Oh, dear!" "Oh, dear!" "Whoa!" "Dilaver, how do I look?" "You look handsome." "Guys, we look like gentlemen from Istanbul." "Wow, Hamdullah, look at you!" "If women in Istanbul saw you like this, you would take their breath away." "You are blessed!" "May God save all of us from evil eyes." "Amen!" "Amen!" "Now, you look like warriors." "Are you ready?" "Yes, we are, pasha!" "Yes, we are, pasha!" "What did I say?" "What did you say?" "I told you not to call me "pasha"." "Did you forget?" "What should we call you, pasha?" "Call me "Mustesna"." "Mustesna?" "Why?" "We have to hide the "pasha", because it's a secret assignment." "He is right." "If we called the pasha "pasha", everyone would know." "What will happen if everyone knows?" "What?" "I don't know." "I need to think about it a little." "Move over there." "Come on." "Yes, yes." "Move aside." "Come here." "From now on, you won't look sheepish and hunched." "Let's give it a try, okay?" "Alright, think about warriors." "Keep your belly in, your chest out, your shoulders high, your heads up." "Now, give a proud, handsome and seducing look." "Ekmelettin." "What?" "Why are we supposed to look at the enemy in this way?" "So, the enemy is gay." "Enchant the person in front of you with your eyes." "You shall become self-confident gentlemen from Istanbul." "Us?" "Yes, you." "Gosh, I don't understand." "Are we not going to war?" "Nazik." "What?" "Don't you understand yet?" "We are spies." "Spy!" "Pee!" "I have to pee." "Okay, go." "What is your name?" "She didn't talk, maybe she is an infidel." "They are here, women!" "They are here!" "They are here!" "They are here, women!" "The warriors are here!" "They are here, women!" "The warriors are here!" "Peace be upon you." "Peace be upon you." "And upon you peace." "We are in the Arabian lands, I guess." "They really look like our people." "Kamil, Cumali..." "Nazik." "Can you believe this?" "Bravo to them." "They are such brave guys." "It looks like they couldn't stay put." "So, they want to be martyrs too." "Guys, what are you doing here?" "Sir, we came here by the order of our vizier." "I know our vizier very well." "You..." "Anyway..." "Move over there." "Okay, fine." "Welcome." "Who are they?" "They are the ministers, grandpa." "The preachers?" "Welcome, preachers." "Welcome." "This is wonderful." "You are very much welcome." "Let's go to the inn of our village." "Come." "Come on." "They're speaking in our language." "I wonder where we are." "I don't know either." "We need to be careful." "Girls, they are coming." "Hurry." "Take your places." "Move!" "Hurry!" "They're coming!" "Tidy yourselves up." "What are they, my God?" "Oh, my God." "How did you create these?" "Say that God is the One." "God is perfect and the ultimate One supplying all our needs." "He does not beget or is not begotten." "There is none equal to God." "Dilaver, I wonder if we died." "I guess so." "Oh!" "My chest is tightening, and my spleen is swelling." "God is the greatest." "Kamil, are we in heaven?" "Straighten your backs, guys." "Take the seat of honor and have a rest, gentlemen." "Go ahead, men." "Thank you, pasha!" "My God!" "Get up!" "Yes." "That guy playing with his mustache has a crush on you, I guess." "He's looking at you like a sinner." "How was your trip, pasha?" "I was put in charge of bringing these men here, by the command of our vizier." "I'm not..." "My pasha!" "I..." "These women would like to learn the orders of our vizier from you." "Sir, you are given the whole authority by our vizier." "We are eight people now." "We'll obey your choices." "I'm not here for marriage." "I'm here for the assignment." "If you don't mind, we want to make a discussion as the village council." "If you'll excuse us..." "Of course." "We too will have a discussion with these young men." "Okay, pasha." "Okay, pasha." "Whoa!" "I'm squeezed." "I can't believe that the vizier assigned a pasha for this business." "Finally, I got to see a pasha." "It's enough for me." "There were supposed to be six men, but now, it's seven." "Who will have whom and how?" "Who will sleep with whom and how?" "I can't find a solution." "Just trust me with this." "I'll find a way around it." "Don't worry." "Women..." "Women, you won't believe me, but Gulbahar wants to get married too." "Guys, here is the order of our vizier:" "You'll marry the women that you've just seen." "Are the old ones included?" "It depends on your luck." "You'll have families." "You'll have kids." "You'll live and die in this village." "God blessed us." "God willing." "Nazik, it's not the right time to faint, please." "God." "Pasha, what does this mean?" "I don't understand anything." "Guys, don't ask anymore questions!" "Each of you will have two, three or four wives in this village." "The order of the vizier can cut even the hardest iron." "You are in heaven instead of on the frontline, and among women instead of in the trenches." "What more do you want?" "Yes." "I started to think I'm the sultan." "People say things against the sultan." "But he is making the poor have a life just like his life." "I can give my life for such a sultan!" "Long live my sultan!" "Long live my sultan!" "In the name of God." "Let's begin with the name of God." "What is this?" "Mine is number 1." "Mine is number 2." "There are four women for number 2." "Stand up!" "Gulbahar, you are in our group too." "Stand up." "Mine is 3!" "Stand up, women!" "I'm ruined." "What is this?" "Mine is 4." "Hurray!" "Hurray for my sultan!" "Hurray for my sultan!" "This poor man will get slammed under me." "I'll eat him up." "Cumali." "Is she your sweetheart?" "Yes." "You are so tasteless." "Mine is number 5." "I have number 6." "Mine is number 7." "Oh, nana..." "People, some of the women were not divorced by their husbands." "What are we going to do with them?" "The magistrate can take care of that, since such an honorable pasha is here." "Isn't it so, pasha?" "Bastard Kudbettin, I wonder why the famous pasha of Baghdad came here." "And he didn't let me know that he was coming." "Keep your eyes peeled." "If I fall, I'll drag all of you with me." "And the pasha wants me to perform the ceremonies, is that so?" "Sufilahara." "Excuse me?" "It means "eat shit" in Arabic." "Sir, the pasha wants you to perform the ceremonies." "We can't stand up to the pasha." "Bastard Kudbettin, the pasha came here, so there must be an important issue." "If the pasha came, the vizier will come." "If the vizier comes, the sultan will come." "Sir, we have to host the pasha very well by all means." "You're right, "Horrid-bettin"!" "Do everything to win the pasha's favor." "Otherwise, I'll stick you up the pasha's ass." "Yes, sir." "This might be unexpected luck." "This pasha might assign me as the minister of the district." "They won't find someone better than you." "Please excuse me." "Brother!" "What about my marriage, for God's sake?" "I can't wait for it." "People have all those women, but I have only money." "You bastard!" "We are doomed." "The pasha of Baghdad came to the village of women." "Go and hide all the goods." "If the pasha finds them, he will cut off our heads, you idiot." "Our heads, you say?" "What are you saying, brother?" "Kamil, Cumali." "Everybody calls me "pasha" because of you." "You've left me in a difficult situation by leaving the vizier alone." "Father, if you don't want us here, we can go back with the women." "Why don't you understand me, guys?" "We'll get in trouble." "If the vizier hears all of this, we will be beheaded." "Why did you call me "pasha"?" "What are we going to say to the magistrate of this village?" "Father Mustesna, relax." "Don't worry about him." "I took care of everything." "I'm sure the magistrate is shaking in his boots now." "I know state affairs." "Father Mustesna, speak seldomly." "Everybody already knows that you're a pasha." "Now, we'll tell you the most important issues that you need to know." "Gulbahar, don't be upset." "We'll find a solution." "Did you fall in love?" "I have an idea." "Look at me." "When are we going to marry these lovely women?" "What are you doing, bro?" "Why are you so upset?" "By the command of God, the tradition of the Prophet, the opinion of the imam of our sect, and in front of our pasha and the witnesses, do you accept to marry these ministers?" "Yes, we do." "Do you accept?" "Yes, we do." "Do you accept?" "Yes, we do!" "Ministers, do you accept to marry these women sitting next to you by approving the declared prices and with your free will?" "Yes, we do." "Do you accept?" "Yes, we do." "Do you accept?" "Yes, we do." "By the authority vested in me by our sultan and in the presence of our pasha, I pronounce you husband and wife." "Surat al-Fatihah!" "I feel it overflowing inside me." "My love for you burns my bosom." "Even an infidel cries Seeing how miserable I am." "I have chickens." "I have roosters." "The longing is about to end." "The wedding night is soon." "I have chickens." "I have roosters." "The longing is about to end." "The wedding night is soon." "Oh, God!" "You can't chug that." "Women are just like soil." "If you cultivate her well, she will offer you lust in one hand, and compassion in the other." "A woman can make you a vizier or a pauper." "Pasha, I want to confess something." "I have never talked to or touched a woman in my entire life." "I don't know what to do tonight." "Yes, pasha." "I haven't talked to any women in my life either." "And Ekmelettin won't be with me anymore." "So, I'll probably faint every day." "Then, you can do it by fainting and waking, man." "I haven't looked at any woman's eyes except my late mother too." "I've always waited for the one." "But they gave me three instead of one." "I don't know what to do." "You know the saying "God gives you three chances"." "But three of them the same night..." "We should get going." "Don't forget, I chose you to preserve your own language, culture and tradition." "You're not porters anymore." "You are the new owners and true masters of these lands." "Go, make me proud." "Pasha..." "If you have nobody to support you and if you are poor, nobody is interested in you." "Rich people never look at our faces while we carry their goods." "But you..." "You looked into our eyes." "You treated us like humans." "Pasha, we're grateful to you for choosing us and for giving us a chance to live these beautiful moments." "Pasha, we aren't educated, wise and elegant like you." "We are mere porters." "Thank you for treating us like humans, pasha." "Pasha, who would take care of poor porters like us other than you?" "Pasha, you made orphans like us happy." "May God give you a long life." "You're the father of all of us!" "Father, we entered the palace and found work there thanks to you." "You always took care of us and protected us just like your children." "You deserve the best." "Go ahead, guys." "You're going to make me cry." "Father, I wish you would get married too." "You wouldn't be alone at this age." "And you would have a home." "There would be someone taking care of you." "Thank you, Cumali." "You know what, I've prayed to God every night to have a child." "Thank God, I have seven children before my eyes." "I don't know when my journey of life will end, but my passing from this mortal world where there are lies among the truth is soon." "I'm waiting for the day when I will reunite with my wife." "May God keep you in right path, and keep you loved." "Amen!" "Amen!" "Go on then." "Let's go." "This white water was like medicine." "I swear, my toothache and my stomachache are completely gone." "My legs gained strength." "We thought over an issue and made a decision." "We too want husbands!" "But we want one strong husband." "We can get along fine." "Don't worry about it." "What are you saying, brother?" "Do you want to bury me alive?" "Anything is possible for status and prestige." "So, your fate is to marry three experienced women." "Nice to see you like this, Gulbahar." "Please be calm, okay?" "There is nothing to be scared of." "Don't worry about anything." "Just look him in the eyes when you go inside." "Be calm, take it easy." "Don't get nervous." "Go on." "Now, get inside." "Get ready." "Try for a baby." "We're leaving now." "Our husbands are waiting for us." "Go on." "Go on." "Go on." "Go on." "Go on." "Guys, May God accept our prayers." "Amen." "Amen." "Look at me, people." "Who just poked my ass?" "Dilaver?" "Kamil, did you poke me?" "Oh, God." "What a shame." "What are you saying?" "I was poked too." "Cumali, was that you who poked me?" "No, they poked me too." "They poked me too." "Ekmelettin, did you poke me?" "I didn't." "I was poked too." "You poked me." "I didn't poke you!" "I was poked too." "You poked me, right?" "Did you poke?" "No." "Who can do this during prayer?" "And I couldn't turn around to see." "God damn it." "God, forgive me..." "It's a sin." "I told you this village is weird." "It was obvious from those rocks." "What kind of rocks were they?" "Please tell me who poked you." "How was his finger?" "Small or big?" "So he poked you and ran away?" "Why?" "He poked you, but why not me?" "Tell me, who had a finger in this pie?" "Ministers!" "Ministers!" "I brought you Vizier's Finger." "Vizier's finger?" "Vizier's finger?" "I promise you, I'm not going to be mad, brother." "Was that you who just poked us?" "No." "Did the vizier die?" "No, he didn't." "Then, why did you bring us the vizier's finger?" "Okay, you brought it, but why did you poke us with it?" "Okay, you poked us with it, but why did you run away?" "I didn't do anything." "Vizier's Finger is a kind of dessert." "You'll eat it to get stronger." "Pasha, people are talking about the wars you won and the lands you conquered." "It's an honor to meet a warrior like you." "Enjoy, pasha." "Enjoy, magistrate." "Thank you." "Magistrate, I heard that you're single." "You were never married." "Sir, I didn't want to have a love that prevents me from living for God." "I kept myself away from earthly affairs and devoted myself to God's path." "It's written in the Quran:" ""God created women for men."" "So, we can marry you with someone from this village." "What do you think, magistrate?" "It depends on your approval." "It's my honor to comply with your decisions and fulfill all the duties that you assign me." "Being a husband or being a minister." "The magistrate took the bait." "Nurdane, it's done." "This bear is old but rich." "This magistrate looks so handsome." "He's not bad at all." "I'm just thinking if a holy man can be a husband or not." "How can you be interested in a holy man?" "I can't control myself!" "I'm going to dance!" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "That water set fire on these women's asses." "We are disgraced before the pasha." "We'll see whom our warrior will choose first." "Cesminaz, wait for your turn." "And the first one is always the eldest one." "Why?" "Our husband will choose who goes first." "Look at me." "Don't challenge me on day one." "Otherwise, I'll throw your skinny body to the dogs, you fake beauty!" "Look who is talking!" "These women's voices are so scary." "I'll make you..." "You..." "Women, our husband will hear you." "Don't do this." "Just worry about how we can treat our husband like a sultan." "In the palace, a woman can hardly come into the presence of the sultan, maybe after a year, if she is lucky." "We'll be in the presence of our husband from day one." "Don't forget this too:" "Sultans don't like women like us." "Especially, chubby or ugly women." "The sultan's foreign women are slim, elegant, well-groomed and beautiful." "And look at our women." "Don't get me wrong." "I'm not talking about you." "Cesminaz, go and put some walnut, honey, milk and grape syrup at his door." "Emine, put some wood in the fire under the water boiler." "And, I'll check on our husband if he needs anything." "Go on then." "Oh, my sweetheart with an exceptional face." "Pasha..." "God." "Welcome." "Oh, my sweetheart with an exceptional face." "After I was honored with the magnificence of your pretty face, I was rejuvenated by your love." "I never intend to annoy you, I would like to exhibit my sincerity." "What do you mean?" "Don't you like it?" "Speak plainly." "Zerafet, what were those voices coming from the other room?" "Pasha, take it easy." "First things first." "I'm the first one." "I have a fever." "What is happening to me, dear?" "Zerafet!" "Cumali!" "Don't do this..." "Zerafet!" "Cumali!" "Don't do this!" "Zerafet, I'm so afraid of those other two women." "They look like demons from hell." "For the love of God, don't leave me alone with them." "Cumali, I'll deal with them." "Now, you just slowly lie on the bed." "Take off your clothes, Cumali." "Take off your clothes!" "Oh, sweetheart with an exceptional face." "How can your lover take off his clothes?" "I'm embarrassed." "Leave yourself to me!" "But, sweetheart with an exceptional face..." "Screw that sweetheart!" "Whoa!" "Keep this in your mind." "I don't have anything to offer you." "I also don't have a nice face to steal your hearts." "This is how I look, and my name is Eko." "I'm saying that women can't rule my household." "Yes, my prince." "I haven't seen anything like that in my entire life." "What is your name, dear?" "Feristah, my prince." "Oh..." "Who said "oh"?" "What is your name?" "Afife." "Afife, you looked different on the first day." "No, my prince." "What is your name, my hottie?" "Habibe, my prince." "Is that so?" "Great." "Who is this beautiful oriental gazelle?" "Sadiye, my prince." "I'll die, cry and burn for this gazelle." "Sadiye, Sadiye." "Flirty Sadiye." "I'll die for all of you, Sadiye." "My prince, my prince." "My handsome prince." "We'll die for you, my prince." "Sadiye, Sadiye!" "Flirty Sadiye!" "I'll die for all of you, Sadiye!" "You all are my wives now." "In this household, you'll learn everything about my hometown by heart." "Now, let's test it." "In the Black Sea Region, farthest to the east, there is Artvin." "Next to Artvin is Rize." "Next to Rize is Trabzon." "Next to Trabzon is Giresun." "Next to Giresun is Ordu." "Next to Ordu is Samsun." "Next to Samsun is Sinop." "Next to Sinop is Kastamonu." "Next to Kastamonu is Zonguldak." "Answer this:" "Which cities are there in the Black Sea Region?" "Pasha..." "We forgot because we're nervous." "We're melting while you're talking." "Each word you say is an order for us." "Pasha, your wish is a command." "Good job." "You have to know my culture and traditions well in this household." "You will also raise our children accordingly." "As the saying goes, "everything descends from father to son"." "Now, lie on the bed!" "All together?" "Yes." "One under the other?" "One on top of another?" "Ladder?" "I love your ladder." "Lie down!" "I'm not an unfair man." "You are all equal to me." "Oh, nana!" "The walnut leaf is between the branches." "Oh, I'm burning." "The love for a beauty appears in between Two vineyards" "My dear, my dear." "With one step at a time..." "Peace be upon you!" "And upon you, peace." "Whoa!" "We need to slap him." "Otherwise, he won't come to himself." "My poor husband." "Slap a little slowly." "He is very skinny." "I can't believe we got this skinny man." "It will get worse if he faints from day one." "Dude, the guy fainted." "He will waste the women." "Let me go in." "Don't rush, be patient." "I fainted again, right?" "Yes, pasha." "Oh, my beautiful babies, I'll eat you up." "Eat us, pasha." "We've been waiting for you for 19 years, Dilaver." "Shall we chat a little?" "Is there something wrong with us?" "Don't you like us, Dilaver?" "No, I like you, but..." "Come on then." "Let's get started." "Look, have you never done this, Dilaver?" "Don't say that." "What a shame." "Shame is in bed, Dilaver." "The bed is waiting for us." "Come on, my lion." "Do you want some walnut, honey and milk, Dilaver?" "No, I'm full." "I don't want anything." "Dilaver, come to your senses." "I swear, we'll mess you up!" "Do what you have to do as a husband!" "Otherwise, we will muck you up!" "We can't wait for it, come on!" "Don't shout!" "It went completely soft!" "I don't know how to do it!" "I'll teach you, Dilaver." "Now, stand up." "Take off your clothes slowly." "Don't be scared, Dilaver." "Is it small?" "A Thracian man never has a small one!" "Don't make me slap you!" "Then..." "Show it." "Show it." "Okay, close your eyes." "If I bake this bitter butter, it would make my batter bitter." "Me!" "But a bit of better butter." "Me!" "That would make my batter better." "Me!" "Ter, ter, ter, ter, ter, ter, ter!" "Me!" "Ter!" "Ter..." "My dear wives." "Now, you go outside." "And, leave me alone with my Feride as the lucky one tonight." "Come on." "Oh, my Feride, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." "I would die for you, my Feride." "Thank you, my prince." "What are we going to do now?" "Do you know how to tumble?" "Tumble?" "Yes, tumble." "Do you know the grip on the bridge?" "Grip?" "I don't." "Do you know the handle on the boiler?" "No." "Do you know the wardrobe?" "Wardrobe?" "I don't." "Are you ready?" "Yes, I am." "Shall I jump?" "Jump!" "Welcome, my prince." "The first one will be the one whose door you knock on." "I'm the one who decides the rules in this household." "Close the door and get inside." "Sure, my prince." "Welcome, my prince." "Wait for your turn." "I'll go with the eldest first." "Okay, my prince." "I'm so excited, I can't speak." "Don't be afraid of me." "I know that you can't speak either." "I will be your tongue." "Allah sent you to me." "Gulbahar, we just wanted to ask if you need anything." "No." "Gulbahar, you spoke." "Thank God!" "As long as you can speak, our Hamdullah is all yours!" "He's all yours!" "The gentlemen of Istanbul, wake up!" "We have work to do!" "Pasha, I have never spent a night like last night." "I don't remember how many times I fainted and came to myself again." "May God bless you." "Thanks to you, we have everything." "Father, raise that holy thing." "I'll kiss it." "What are you saying, Cumali?" "Father, raise that holy thing." "I'll kiss it." "Are you crazy, man?" "Raise your holy hand." "I'll kiss it, father." "Kamil, what is wrong with you?" "Father Mustesna, I need to see a doctor, I guess." "Hamdullah is a veterinarian." "Let him take a look." "Wardrobe." "I carry the world on my back every day." "But never did I feel this tired." "Pasha, only God and I know what I suffered last night." "Pasha." "Now, this village is yours." "We have a lot to do." "May God give you strength." "Come on." "Nurdane, it's so nice to see you covering your head." "Well, I thought the wife of a magistrate should cover her head." "So, I covered my head." "I hope the other girls do it too." "May God forgive them." "Amen." "Amen." "Nurdane, open it a little." "You closed it too much." "There are no unrelated men here." "No, that's better." "Just to be safe." "There might be male djinns around me." "Then, I'll fall into sin." "The rest depends on my fate." "If I marry the magistrate soon, maybe I will send you all to Hejaz." "God willing." "God willing." "I haven't seen any of our women." "Where are they?" "They must be at the stream to wash." "I really wonder how was their wedding night." "Girls, how are you?" "We're great!" "Great." "Gulbahar, I heard that you can speak now." "He is such a husband that he could make you speak in a day." "So, from now on, you'll sing like a canary." "Girls, look at me." "Let's give Nurdane a bath." "And prepare her for the magistrate." "Oh!" "He'll like me anyway." "But you can still give me a bath." "It's important to look beautiful." "Let's do it." "Mister magistrate, do you accept to marry Nurdane?" "Yes, I do." "Do you accept?" "Yes, I do." "Do you accept?" "Yes, I do." "In the presence of the pasha and the witnesses, I pronounce you husband and wife." "Congratulations." "Amen!" "Surat al-Fatihah!" "The henna is on our hands." "The belts are around our waists." "We hope this bride will be happy." "The prayers are in our mouths." "The prayers are in our mouths." "Oh, bride, bride, bride!" "Red-dressed, hennaed bride!" "May God protect you, Sparkling, veiled bride." "Sparkling, veiled bride." "Why are you crying?" "Who cries before her wedding?" "You found someone to love, so you need to be happy." "Mom, we have a magistrate father thanks to you." "From now on, the destiny of our village will change." "You became the most important woman in this region." "Stop crying please." "I'm crying because I'll be separated from my children." "I do everything for you and our village." "May God give us a good future." "Amen!" "Sir, this night is very crucial for you on your way to becoming a minister." "Do we have rhino horn?" "We couldn't find any, sir." "Mesir paste?" "It's not available either." "Then what am I going to do with that woman?" "Sir, if you can't take that woman down, your reputation will be destroyed." "You know that in our lands, people never forget the gossip of gayness, robbery and impotency." "So, no matter what you do, make it happen tonight." "Kudbettin, go and bring me some figs from the djinn preacher." "Yes, sir." "Why did you marry such an ugly woman, for God's sake?" "What a pity." "Forget about me." "Did you take care of the goods?" "I told you to take me to that village." "Look, all of those beautiful women were taken one by one." "Then, they left you with that ugly woman." "Now, you're toast." "You're talking about something else." "I'm asking you about the goods." "You are asking about the goods, but how can I take all of them?" "It's just like the Croesus Treasure." "People are already talking about us." "All of those hypocrites talking about us are anti-religious, cursed people." "They are the seeds of the infidels who want to disturb our homeland." "Who is provoking them?" "Where do these infidels come from?" "Who is the enemy?" "What did you say?" "I couldn't understand anything." "Idiot." "Don't make me mad." "Go away, for God's sake." "What am I going to do with this woman?" "What am I going to do with this woman?" "Go on." "Don't keep our papa magistrate waiting anymore." "May God give you a happy marriage." "Amen!" "Mister magistrate." "Mister magistrate." "He lies down on the bed, exposing his whole body." "Never mind." "That's better." "He is not desirable, even if you cover with honey." "Look how the holy magistrate looks like." "You're going to be in trouble from now on." "People are coming to the village!" "People are coming!" "People are coming to the village!" "People are coming!" "Feride, who are those men?" "Our new husbands." "What?" "Do you want me to flip out?" "Whoa!" "What?" "Weigh your words and then talk." "Don't make me mad." "You can't talk about my wife like this!" "Shut up!" "I'll rip out your tongue!" "Watch your mouth." "Otherwise, you'll watch it from far away." "Nurdane, where are you?" "What?" "What?" "Nurdane?" "What is this?" "What kind of a scandal is this?" "Watch your mouth." "I'm the wife of a great magistrate." "You'll get in trouble." "Where did you find these trollops?" "Get out!" "Get out!" "What are you saying?" "Hey, who are these women?" "Stop!" "Afife, is that milquetoast with an almond-shaped mustache your husband?" "Godless man!" "She became my wife in the presence of God." "Watch your mouth." "Or I'll kill you!" "How could you marry off married women?" "Why are you acting like men?" "You are walking corpses." "We have husbands now." "Pakize, what are you saying?" "How can you have new husbands?" "Grandpa, watch your mouth in the presence of my wife." "Do you see this?" "I will bring you down!" "You dog!" "Why do you keep barking?" "Woman, did you get married too?" "Yes, I did." "You should look after your wives instead of consorting with these trollops in the infidel lands for 19 years!" "Woman!" "Do you know how we suffered on the front for 19 years?" "You're not allowed to marry before we divorce you according to religion." "Don't make me mad!" "Get out of this village!" "You yellow ox!" "You get out of our village!" "Get out!" "Get out!" "Who the hell are you?" "We are the warriors of this homeland." "Who are you?" "Assholes!" "Attack!" "Attack!"