"♪ Zaga-zow ♪" " J' Ziggy-zow, zaga-zow ♪ - ♪ zaga ♪" "♪ let me out, ba-na-na, yow ♪" "♪ zaga-zow, Ziggy-zow, ze, ze, zow ♪" "♪ a' yeah a'" "♪ we like the way you comb your hair ♪" "♪ we like those stylish clothes you wear ♪" "♪ it's just the little things you do ♪" "♪ that show how much you really care ♪" "♪ and when I'm all alone with you ♪" "♪ there's nothing i would rather do ♪" "♪ than spend each moment loving you ♪" " ♪ yah, so we say ♪ - ♪ baby, through and through ♪" "♪ girl, you want to make me touch ya, touch ya ♪" "♪ girl, you want to make me rock ya, rock ya ♪" "♪ girl, you want to let me kiss ya, kiss ya... ♪" "♪ Move over ♪" "♪ make me beg ya, plead ya ♪" "♪ we like the way you comb your hair ♪" "♪ we like those stylish clothes you wear, it's just... ♪" "♪ The little things you do ♪" "♪ that show how much you really care ♪" "♪ and when I'm all alone with you ♪" "♪ there's nothing i would rather do... ♪" "♪ Than spend each moment loving you ♪" "♪ baby, through and through ♪" "♪ girl, so you want to freak me, freak me ♪" "♪ girl, so you want to kiss me, kiss me ♪" "♪ use your hand and touch me, touch me ♪" "♪ touch me all over body, body ♪" " ♪ y'all just want to... ♪ - ack!" "Ack!" "♪ Baby, on the rhythm, i talkie, talkie... ♪" "♪ Zaga-zow, zaga-zow, yo... ♪" "♪ Zig... ♪" "Yeah." "Heh." "Yeah." " Whoo!" " ♪ zig ♪" "♪ we like the way you comb your hair ♪" "♪ we like those stylish clothes you wear ♪" "♪ it's just the little things you do ♪" "♪ that show how much you really care ♪" "♪ and when I'm all alone with you ♪" "♪ there's nothing i would rather do ♪" "♪ than spend each moment loving you ♪" "♪ baby, through and through ♪" "♪ girl, so you want to freak me, freak me ♪" "♪ girl, so you want to eat me, eat me ♪" "♪ girl, so you want to kiss me, kiss me ♪" "♪ use your hand and touch me, touch me ♪" "♪ touch me all over body, body ♪" "♪ y'all just want to groove me, groove me ♪" "♪ baby, on the rhythm, i talkie, talkie ♪" " ♪ zaga-zow, zaga-zow... ♪ - watch out!" "♪ We like those stylish clothes ♪" " ♪ you wear... ♪ - sorry." "♪ It's just the little things you do ♪" "♪ that show how much you really care ♪" "♪ and when I'm all alone with you ♪" "♪ there's nothing i would rather do ♪" "♪ what's up'?" "S'" "♪ than spend each moment loving you ♪" "♪ baby, through and through. ♪" "Yo, what's up with that?" "Tommy quit." "Looks like he went out in style." "You know Tommy." "I tell you what, you better steer clear of bostick today." "Come on, man." "You know i invented the low profile." "All right?" "I ain't going nowhere near that." "Hey!" "Bostick wants to see everybody, now." "Check it out." "Opening up two miles from here." " Aw, man, what's up with that?" " Hello, castle world." "Woman:" "I heard that." "We've survived a recession, two earthquakes, and a health inspector who, despite my many advances, turned out to be gay, so we're not going anywhere." "We're going to stay right here and compete with castle world." "I've been providing quality jobs for this community for over 27 years." "I got an idea." "Why don't you cash out?" "Yeah, yeah." "Go to Miami, get you a Cadillac, one of them bald-headed pool boys." "Everybody get to work." "Jamal, you can clean the moat." "Oh, come on, th-- but first I want to talk to you." "Damn it, Jamal." "Can't you look outside yourself for two seconds and just buckle down and help me?" "Why can't you help yourself?" "Forget about the community and providing quality jobs for people." "Take what money you got and jet." "Book it." "Feel me?" "Get out." "Bye-bye." "You don't get it, do you?" "I had high hopes for you." "Maybe you shouldn't have." "Jamal..." "Clean up them batting helmets while you're at it." "Dang, man!" "Man, this is like some three mile island, exxon valdez shit." "What other choice do we have, man?" "In two weeks, castle world's going to blow this place out the water." "We apply now avoid the rush." " Eh?" " You feel me?" " Yes." "'Cause I can't keep doing this, not here." "Oh." "All right." "Okay." "To castle world!" "Castle world!" "And then I go in-- oh!" "You dead." "'Unh!" "." "Hey!" "That's got to be worth a lot of money." "What?" "Hold on." "Let me get something to get that out." "Hold on." "What the hell?" "Hey, Steve!" "Ms. bostick!" "Oh, shit!" "Oh, shit!" "The water cold!" "You disturb my peace." "What is your business here?" "What the hell?" "That's good." "Oh, all right." "I get it." "You had too much to drink, huh?" "Opening party for castle world?" "Oh, you upset." "I ain't got no beef with you, dawg." "Kindly address me with the proper respect." "I am knolte of marlborough." "And I am not a dog." "You may not be a dog, but you may want to roll over." "Got my suit all soaked up." "Wait a minute." "You ain't breathing, man." "Wake" "ohh." "He ain't breathing!" "911!" "911!" "White man down!" "White man down!" "All right, I'm gonna get a little close to your mouth, so if you wake up and you see a brother on you," "I ain't like that." "It's about getting you to breathe, so bear with me." "Ahh!" "Here we go." "Here." "Oh, damn." "What you been eating, spoiled nachos?" "Wait." "Wait, wait!" "Where..." "Spray paint." "I ain't going to spray-paint you." "Nah." "Ah, hold on." "Here we go." "You saved my life." "Don't mention it." "I" "I owe you thanks." "Don't even worry about it." "Where do you live, man?" "Come on." "Here you go." "Come on." "Come on, man." " Jamal:" "This is it?" " It is." "What the?" "Whoa, whoa." "You got a license to have animals, man?" "All right, this a big-ass donkey." "Do you have a license for this?" "Homie, may I make a suggestion?" "Ikea." "Yeah, get you some end tables and some of them $5 lamps, man, you know, and a futon." "Then you'd be styling." "Yeah." "And try to wear something on your feet that has a little give, other than metal." "You know, get you the proper sneaker." "Are you hungry?" "What is that, man?" ""Us food." "'Tis roadkill, man!" "Ugh." "You know what?" "Get you some food stamps." "Just tell 'em you doing bad." "You know what I mean?" "You know, if they don't believe you, ask one of them social workers come through your spot, check out where, how you living, 'cause this is..." "It's like that, seriously." "And..." "You ought to get yourself into a shelter, you know?" "Try that." "So thank you for inviting me to your place." "Thank you..." "For your..." "Conversation." "You thanking me for talking to you?" "I am a man reviled for my failings, for-- for I have not served well my queen." "I must be crazy, man." "Here's two bucks, all right?" "Get yourself some soap and some tic tacs." "I'm going to get up out of here." "Freeway should be that way?" "I'll find it." "Brother lost in the woods, not good." "Ah, hell, no!" "You know you dead wrong!" "Oh, shit." "Castle world?" "Ms. bostick, you in trouble." "Jamal:" "You all seen this?" "They tried to run me..." "Hold up!" "Hold up!" "Hold up!" "Hey, let me see your manager, okay?" "I damn near got trampled by some of them dumb-ass actors taking theirjob way too seriously." "Who be ye?" "Who be I?" "I be stomping your ass, you put your hand on me one more again!" "Okay?" "I'm from south central," "Florence and normandie." "Normandy?" "A thousand pardons." "We've been awaiting word from normandy." "Please, enter." "We'll inform the king of your arrival." "That's more like it." "That's how brothers need to be treated, you know?" "And talk to your boy, 'cause punks jump up to get beat down." "I'll holler!" "Whoa." "Castle world got it going on." "Horses, costumes smells." "Jamal:" "Hello." "Lose the hat, homie." "Man:" "Thank you for saving our little village." "And such is the legend of the black knight." "The Princess will look so beautiful." "It will be a wedding for the ages." "Don't you agree?" "Yes, but she doesn't love him." "So?" "She's but a woman." "Well, what if a woman were not considered merely a man's property and were free to choose her own husband?" "Are you feeling ill?" "Let us pray it's not plague." "Should she be bled?" "No." "No, I'm quite well." "It was just foolish talk." "Oh, damn." "That's what I'm talking about." "Allow me to introduce myself." "Jamal." "Victoria." "Oh, wait." "Look, darling, don't cheat yourself, treat yourself." "Look-- ahem." "I don't work here." "Yeah, I'm a talent agent." "I represent people like..." "Mariah, Denzel." "You can call him zel." "I'll let him know just you going to call him zel." "But I got to tell you you are" "I'm just going to be up front and say it." "You are gorgeous." "You glow, girl." "You speak with an unusual tongue." "Oh, no, that's just how we talk in my neighborhood." "Now, look, first thing we got to do, right, is get some pictures taken." "You own a thong?" " A what?" " Okay, never mind." "Why don't you just bring an old pair of drawers and cut the ass out?" "You know?" "So just give me your number." "Seven." " Excuse me?" " You asked my number." "I am one of the king's chambermaids, number seven." "Oh." "Well, that must be your employee number." "Nah, nah, I was talking about your phone number." "Don't worry." "I'll write my number down." "Anybody got a pen?" "Jamal:" "You..." "You can read and write?" "Yeah." "Who you been dating?" "You got to raise the bar." "Man:" "Good day, ladies." "How are you feeling today?" "Wait." "I shall tell thee." "Yes." "Very nice." "Good day to you, lady." "You especially, my nubian queen." "Hey, what the hell is wrong with you, man?" "Don't you know that's sexual harassment?" "Ah, you the idiot that damn near ran me over, aren't you?" "Wait till I find your boss." "He's going to fire your metallic ass." "You would do well to mind your tongue, moor or I will cut it out and feed it to the dogs." "Come here." "Nah, I'm just messing with you, man." "I ain't no talent agent, you know, so cut the act." "I'm just trying to get at her." "Ain't she fine?" "Watch me work." "Moor!" "Do you mock me?" "The king awaits thee, messenger." "Hey, you might want to take a chill pill, all right?" ""Do you mock me, moor?"" "Hey, look, your boss makes you call him king?" "We got to talk union." "Yeah, man, that's not right." "You know, you got to get you a dental plan, maybe..." "We do apologize, sire." "We did not expect your arrival for several weeks." " How shall I introduce thee?" " What do you mean?" "Your formal introduction for your audience with the king." "Ah, formal introduction?" "Your majesty, if I may have your attention?" "Starting at small forward, from inglewood high, two-time all-county conference player of the year, the messenger from normandy," "Jamal "sky" Walker!" "That be I!" "What's up?" "What's happening, y'all?" "Ah, thank you!" "Appreciate it, big homie!" "Thank you!" "It's the-- what's up?" "Hey, what's up, now?" "Oh, man!" "Now, that brings back memories." "You arrive early." "My daughter and I welcome you." "What news from normandy?" "Uh..." "What news?" "Well, a couple of drive-bys." "Other than that, same old-same old." "When will the Duke arrive to take my daughter's hand?" "This is a hell of a setup you got here." "I mean, I'm not lying." "I mean-- whoo!" "You got to have major coins behind this." "Who's backing you, puffy?" "Silence, moor!" "Tell me, when will the Duke arrive?" "Oh, I get it." "You want to see if I can improv." "Okay, well, let's see." "The Duke will arriveth in all his royal pomposity and splendor on Tuesday." "Tuesday!" "Hah!" "That is excellent news." "Ah, Phillip, have the servants ply this messenger with much food and drink, and let him lay with any damsel he desires except my daughter, of course." "Can I get a ride back to town?" "Oh, an excellent idea." "Phillip, show our guest the grounds." "Allow him rest, and then we shall ride, and ride we shall." "Oh ho ho!" "This is funky!" "Hey-- oh!" "Y'all got the little cutout thing like the castle's for real." "Hey, how you doing, miss darling?" "Hey, look here." "I'm in the presidential suite." "Uh-huh." "Yeah!" "Oh, so, I get it." "This is like a theme park and a hotel, right?" " Sire?" " Y'all got the real brick, none of that fake stuff, huh?" "Oh, man." "Oh, man." "Hey, I need to use your bathroom." "Bathroom?" "What is that, i pray thee?" "I got to drain the-- you know, drain the anaconda." "Got to-  ah, the privy." " Yeah." "Appreciate it." "Ah." "Got to go." "Got to-- whew!" "Oh!" "Ah, damn." "No, seriously, you think you're going to charge people money to stay here and wipe their ass with straw?" "Ain't going to happen." "There's doo-doo on top of the-- tell me you don't see that shit." "And I mean that literally." "Where's the texaco?" " Texaco?" " ..." "Couldn't make it today." "No, she couldn't." " We'll be late." " What's happening?" "Where y'all going?" " To the beheading." " No, do not tarry." "They're executing a leader of the rebellion." "Y'all done went all out." "Y'all got the-- you said-- say what?" "They're executing a leader of the rebellion." "Oh, that should be live." "Let's check it out." "Hey, look, remember that little honey" "I was just hollering at over there a second ago?" " Out the window?" " Yeah." "Yes, yeah!" "I also want her, and..." "Jamal:" "Yeah, that's tight." "Long live our deposed queen!" "Power to the people!" "I'm sorry." "I didn't mean to interrupt y'all rehearsal." "Please, proceed." "Proceed." "Y'all got a head that comes off?" "A neck that spurts blood?" "Look at the head." "How do they make it look so real?" "Oh, because it is real." "You have to calm yourself." "Calm myself?" "I was just holding a human head!" "Ah!" "You'd think you've never seen an execution before." "Not lately." "Wait." "Okay, all right." "What day is it?" "Is it Sunday the fifth?" "Yes, messenger, I believe it is." "2001 ?" "Two?" "It is the year of our lord 1328." "The date frightens you?" "You think it don't when it does!" "I didn't mean-- oh, you-- okay, let me calm-- let me just, you know, relax." "And that's why they put a seat-- it's a-- all right, is that how you-- is this how you use the chair?" "Okay, 'cause I don't really know if you should go..." "I qot to go!" "But leave, you cannot." "There's work to be done." "You wear the medallion." "Well, lots of brothers wear medallions." "I got a cousin, right." "He'll wear a manhole cover if you get a big enough chain." "You got to put some bling-bling on it, though." "You know?" "You're nervous." "Yeah, a little bit." "I'm a little nervous, 'cause, see, this is not" "I don't even know where I'm from." "When I walked in, I saw, like-- let me calm your spirits." "Oh, my damn." "Y'all really know how to make a brother feel welcome." "Yeah." "Let's make it happen!" "Eh?" "Grab that leg for me right there." "Why do you disrobe?" "Well well, I noticed you were getting out your drawers." "I wanted to show you that I too wear the medallion." " ( Zipper z." "I ahem." "Yeah, that-- you know what?" "Well, that was my thinking." "That was my thinking, 'cause, see, it looks just like mine right here." " See?" " Of course." "I'm here to help you kill the king and return the kingdom" " to our deposed queen." " Say what?" "That's why we wear the medallion." "Well, see, i was wearing my medallion 'cause I thought it looked good with my gear." "You know?" " So, how will you do it?" " Huh?" "Poisonous snakes in his chamber?" "Or will you drop him off the edge of the earth?" "God knows he deserves it after killing king John and stealing the throne from our queen." "He left a warning to all those who might dare oppose him." "What kind of warning?" "Oh!" "Oh." "I'll be going now." "Yeah, I'm just going to step on-- we have a fresh horse ready for you, sire." "The king awaits thee." "Horse?" "You said you wanted to ride." "Yeah." "Oh, shit!" "He's yours to ride." "Me?" "I haven't been..." "Totally honest to you about who I am." "Oh?" "I'm not only the Duke's official messenger, but I'm also the court Jester." "King:" "Messenger and Jester." "An odd combination of talents." "Bring him on." "That is funny." "Damn." "Whoa, horsie, whoa!" "Whoa." "No." "King:" "That's..." "Huh?" "King Leo." "Bastard." "Look at him." "I've a mind to slice him open and feed him to the masses." "Soon, brother, very soon." "Come on, man." "Help a brother out." "King Leo:" "You have to admire his commitment." "It is no longer funny, but he refuses to give up on the joke." "Messenger and Jester." "I have great respect for this man." "Does that feel better?" "Yeah." "Good." "The bloodletting appears to be working." "What's that?" "It's to burn off the leeches." "Heh." "The what?" "Oh!" "Now I got to get home." "Where's the lake?" "Which lake?" "Where?" "The one with the-- the drunk-ass homeless guy." "Knolte." "Knolte?" "He's dead." "No, he just smells dead." " Am I interrupting?" " Yes." "My apologies." "There is a banquet tonight, and the king requests your presence." "Oh, I don't think i can make that." "My schedule just opened up." "Mmm." "Hmm?" "Let us celebrate the upcoming union between my daughter and the Norman Duke." "He is coming, isn't he?" "Yeah." "Yeah, yeah, the Duke?" "Oh, no doubt." "He'll be here." "Yeah, the Duke, he-- ahem-- he just likes to stop off, you know, see the sights and..." "Stuckey's." "He likes to stop at stuckey's, because they got, like, a banana pie that he likes, but he'll be here." "Allow me to carve." "Peas?" "Uh..." "Please." "I'm interested in learning more about your culture." "It is my understanding that the normans are excellent dancers." "If you want to know more about my culture, remove the dog from the table." "No offense, king, but, you know, that thing about dancing, that was a very stereotypical thing you said." "So you cannot dance?" "Ahh!" "Can I dance?" "Come on, man." "That's how I get down." "Please, pleasure us with your skills." " Now?" " Mm." "Silence!" "Servants, clear the floor so Skywalker may demonstrate some fine Norman dancing." "Uh..." "Yeah, time to get the boogie on." "Ah, yeah." "Dance well, moor." "Starting to like this word "moor" less and less." "Your kingliness, special request?" "Okay." "Now, this is a pretty white crowd, okay, so nothing too crazy." "Okay?" "My life's depending on it." "Okay, guys, look, I'm going to need a bass line, okay?" "So I'm gonna need y'all to help me out here, 'cause I got a lot riding on this, man." "Y'all do that, 'cause y'all got the trumpets, so I'm going to need y'all." " Skywalker." " Yeah?" "I'm getting impatient." "I got it together." "They just" "I just want the music to be crisp." "'Cause if it's crisp, you're going to jam." "All right." "Okay, you kick the beat, man." "I need you to kick it like a white boy ain't never kicked it!" "Kick it." "Follow me, okay?" "Just one..." "Two..." "Three." "♪ Boom-ba-boom, ba-boom-boom-boom ♪" "♪ ba-ba-ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom-boom-boom ♪" "♪ ba-ba-ba-boo, ba-boo, ba-boom-boom-boom... ♪ ' 0w!" "Boom!" "Boom-boom!" "Boom-boom!" "♪ Boom-booom ♪" "♪ boom-ba-boom ♪" "♪ behh... ♪" "Woman:" "Dreadful." "Excuse me." "Y'all going to get me killed." " Skywalker!" " Yeah?" "Okay." "We're ready, king." "One two..." "Three." "♪ Boom-ba-boom, ba-boom-boom-boom ♪" "♪ ba-ba-ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom-boom-boom ♪" "♪ ba-ba-ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom-boom-boom... ♪" "♪ Ba-ba-ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom-boom-boom ♪" "♪ ba-ba-ba-boo, ba-boo, ba-boom-boom-boom... ♪" "Now, that's better." " Huh?" " ♪ all we need is a drummer ♪" "♪ for people who only need a beat... ♪" "Now give me some drumming." "Yeah." "♪ Now someone add me some guitar ♪" "♪ to make it easy to move your feet... ♪" "Whoo!" "Yeah." "Yeah, yeah." "♪ Someone add me some bottom ♪" "♪ so the dancers just won't hide... ♪" "I see what he's doing here." "♪ They might like to hear my organ ♪" "♪ I said, "ride, Sally, ride"... ♪" "♪ And you might want to hear my horns blow ♪" "♪ sitting there on the throne... ♪" "♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪" "♪ dance to the music ♪" "♪ dance to the music ♪" "♪ dance to the music... ♪" "Whoo!" "♪ Dance to the music... ♪" "♪ Dance to the music... ♪" "♪ Dance to the music ♪" "♪ dance to the music ♪" "♪ dance to the music ♪" "♪ dance to the music ♪" "♪ dance to the music ♪" "♪ dance to the music ♪" "♪ dance to the music ♪" "♪ dance to the music... ♪" "That's it, y'all." "Whoo!" "Mmm." "I think ourjester messenger knows not his place in society." "Perhaps he should learn it." "Your tongue was in my mouth, swimming around like an eel." "Yeah, it's called a French kiss." "From normandy?" "Florence and normandie." " Show me more of this." " ♪ dance to the music... ♪" "Whoa, whoa." "Mmm, mmm." "Whoa." "♪ Dance to the music... ♪" "Excuse me." "You have no business with this woman." "Hey, man, she was coming on to me." "Are you accusing our fair Princess" " of having an interest in thee?" " No, no." "No." "I'm accusing her of having an interest in me." "♪ Dance to the music... ♪" " Prepare to taste cold steel." " ♪ dance to the music... ♪" "Behold!" "♪ Dance to the music... ♪" " Halt, coward!" " ♪ dance to the music ♪" "♪ dance to the music ♪" "♪ dance to the music. ♪" " Assassins!" " Seize them!" "Stop them!" "Protect the king." "Protect his majesty." "This is an outrage." "Lord percival, how could this happen?" "I would be dead right now were it not for the heroics of Skywalker." "That's very nice of you, king, but we do what we can do." "Hey, look." "Please, allow me." "Lighten up on Percy, okay?" "Let's show a little mercy for Percy." "Everyone is entitled to one enormous, near-fatal, catastrophic disaster." "Ain't that right, Percy?" "Skywalker, allow me to honor you by appointing you a lord of my court in charge of security." " What?" "!" "My liege-- - the king is talking." "Now, that's rude, Percy." "But I guess that's how you were brought up." "Now, you were saying, your magnitude?" "Yes, as I was saying, is there some way i could prevail upon you to stay a while and become a lord of my court?" "Lord of the court?" "What comes with that?" "Well, I would give you 60 hectares of land..." "With 20 men to till it." "Farming?" "No, I got to think about that a while." "I would also give you women for your bed, as many as you need." "I've reached my decision." "His lordship, sir Skywalker!" "What's up, homie?" "You straight?" "Cool." "I decided to stay." "Now, I got an idea how to make some serious coin." "Have you ever had a frappuccino?" "No?" "Check this out." "What is it?" "Jamal in the box, man." "Yeah, the first of many." "And the good thing is it's going to have a ride-through," " right?" " Ah." "Yeah, you just gallop up, place your order, and in seconds, you're out of there, killing and plundering." "Excellent." "Well done." "Now, I had my royal tailor whip this up." " Hmm." " Ah." "Yeah!" "Hey, hey, pay attention." "See this?" "This is my official..." "Skywalker logo." "Yeah." "Whoo!" "Yes!" "Damn, y'all catch on quick." "What do we have here?" "Look like you can use some help." "If you think I need help, you do not understand the game, moor." "Moor?" "Well, I prefer "lordship."" "Do you mind?" "All right." "Excuse me." "All right." "Oh." "If you're going to win this game, you're going to need your knights, and you might want to leave your rim pawns at home." "Yeah." "That's your ass." "Sometimes the queen has to be sacrificed for the good of the kingdom." "Yeah, but every pawn is a potential queen." "You turn your back, she'll bite you in your ass." "I don't intend to let the game last that long." "Checkmate." "We should get together and play again sometime." "I'm sure we will." "Mind your back, moor." "Phillip:" "Lord Skywalker, the king demands your presence immediately." "Excuse me there, cuz." "Heh." "Hey, your kingliness." "What's up, big homie?" "Heh." "What's happening?" "Were you not to consult on issues of security?" "Yeah." "Why, what happened?" "I was out for a ride with my men." "One of my soldiers caught this peasant stealing a turnip from the castle garden." "Sire, I beg your forgiveness." "I only did it to feed my starving family" " for we are out-- - silence." "Round up his starving family, and take them all away for execution." "See to it." "Yqu-- man just said" "how much did you take?" "Only a turnip." "Only-- come on!" "That's..." "And, Skywalker..." "Yeah?" "...we are still waiting on your Duke." "My Patience is wearing thin." "Yes, your fabulousness." "I'm going to handle a little something." "Get your ass up!" "Lookit." "That's the king." "You take a good look at him." "Say, "king, I'm sorry"!" "King, I'm sorry!" " "King, I apologize!"" " King, I apologize!" ""King, that's my ass!"" "It's my ass!" "That's your ass." "Watch out." "Dead man walking!" "Dead man walking!" "Dead man walking!" "Dead man walking!" "Why you bring the mean out of me?" "!" "Why you bring the mean out of me?" "!" "I'm security, and you going to be punished, punished severely!" "With these coins, all right?" "Okay, go." "Get out of here." "Go." "Here." "Take the bag too." "Go!" "Go." "You're free." "Go." "Get out." "With the compliments of the king, it is his pleasure to share with lord Skywalker his Booty." "Booty?" "Booty as in "spoils of war"?" "Oh, that Booty." "Good night." "Whoo!" "Let's get it over with." "You asked to have me delivered to you?" "Yeah, so we can talk." " Mm-hmm." " No, seriously." "Um..." "If you're not naked, they may hear us." "Uh..." "Let me break it down for you." "I asked him to bring you here for this so they wouldn't get suspicious." "Now, we got to act like we're doing the do, okay?" "'Cause the guard's right out front." "Um..." "Oh!" "Oh, yeah!" "On!" "Oh, girl!" "Yeah, there it is." "Oh!" "Ooh!" "Oh, remind me to thank the king!" "Whoo!" "Go on." "Oh, sire, you're hung like a horse!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Work with me." "The king is crazy." "He's killing people over vegetables." "So you'll help with the rebellion?" "Oh, no, I got to get out of here, okay?" "Look, once the real messenger shows up, they're going to slice me up like wonder bread." "But you wear the medallion." "You're a man with honor, and as lord, you now have even greater access to the king." "Oh!" "Good." "Oh!" "Put that up right there." "Right there." "Now hold that right there." "Whoo!" "Look, I'm not the guy you're looking for." "Then I have nothing more to say to you, and that is how I break it down." "She's quite a spirited one, eh, sire?" "Whoo." "Where did y'all get her?" "Oh!" "One in a million." "Jamal:" "Mmm." "I was hoping you'd come back to say good night." "Halt!" "I am jobert of normandy with a message from the Duke Dubois." "Skywalker." "Hmm?" "Oh!" "Ahem." "Regina?" " Regina?" " What are you doing here?" "You would dare to deflower the king's daughter?" "Trust me, somebody got to that flower long before I did." "You need to know..." "Your daughter's a freak." "~ oh!" "The girl has been soiled." "My Duke will no longer be interested in-- oh!" "My Duke will no longer be interested in your daughter's hand in marriage." "Good day." "You have not only tarnished my daughter, but any chance of forming an alliance with normandy!" "He'll pay for this." "Well, what if I was to say, in all seriousness, that I'm really, really sorry?" "Oh, we misjudged you, Skywalker." "Right." "When you foiled our assassination attempt and doomed us to a bloody execution..." " We were a little peeved." " To say the least." "But now, seeing your plan unfold..." " Genius." " ..." "Genius." "My plan?" "Oh." "Well, yeah." "Well..." "Ahem." "Well, I don't like to be obvious, you know?" "My plan, it just creeps up on you." "Yes." "Had the king united with normandy, our poorly armed rebels could never have defeated them." "Because you deflowered the Princess," "Leo cannot form his alliance." "Your action has given us hope, and, with luck, we can still restore our queen in hiding to the throne." "Sounds like that's a good plan." "It's a perfect plan." "Our deaths will not be in vain." "Well, good, good." "Death?" "!" "What-- ain't nobody dying here!" "Ah, that white girl came on to me!" "We're all going to be put to death tomorrow." "You can bloody well bet those bastards are sharpening the ax right now." "At least, you better hope they're sharpening it." "I saw it done with a blunt ax once." "Took all day." "Just hacking and hacking and hacking and hacking." "We get it, man." "If only the black knight were here." "Who?" "You never heard of the black knight?" "You ever heard of Shaq?" "We're even." "Well, the legend of the black knight-- legend?" "The black knight was a great warrior." "Kings tried to buy his might, but he swore allegiance only to justice." "It is said..." "He was once swallowed whole by a fierce dragon." "Swallowed whole." "But lo, with a sword of gold did he cut his way from the belly of the beast, and when he emerged, he himself could breathe the fire of the dragon." "See, this is why you shouldn't drink your own urine." "Shit." "Let the execution commence!" "Jamal:" "Wait!" "Maybe we need a-- should wait for a bigger crowd, okay?" "I'm only going to do this once." " Go forth!" " Okay." "They want us to line up in order of color, light to dark!" "You a priest!" "I pay my tithe." "I go to church." "I give out the moola!" "Ohh!" "Wait." "Primitives..." "They're backwards." "Your kingliness, one last word?" "Uh well, uh..." "Behold!" "I am a great sorcerer!" "Ooh!" "Uh do not anger me!" "For with these hands," "I make..." "Fire!" "Wait." "Fire!" "We have fire." "Oh." "Execute him!" "Now!" " Woman:" "Execute him!" " No, no!" " Execute him!" " No!" "Execute him!" "The sorcerer has cast a spell of death upon him!" " Who?" "Yeah!" "That's right!" "I cast a spell of death on him!" "But I can bring him back, 'cause I'm a great sorcerer." "Boogedy-boogedy-boogedy!" "Man:" "Not me!" "Not me!" "Behold!" "I have something to tell you." "I can make the sun fall from the sky and burn you, medieval mother..." "Fire!" "The sun is falling!" "He'll kill us all!" "Fear him not!" "He is no sorcerer!" "He is a charlatan and a Jester!" "Seize him!" "This way!" "Down!" "Be still." "Get in!" "Remain still." "Get him!" " Come on!" " Go!" "Hyah!" "Close the portcullis!" "Open it!" "Open the portcullis!" "It's stuck, sire!" "It won't open!" " Skywalker!" " Knolte." "Knolte:" "Up we go." "Fifth time's the charm." "Go." "Now go!" "You find them." "You kill them." "You done this shit before, haven't you, knolte?" "Knolte:" "You saved my life." "I simply repaid the debt to you." "Paying debt?" "You were kicking ass back there, man." "How'd you get in on this?" "Your fair Victoria told me of your plight." "Victoria did this for me?" "Well, you and the rebellion." "But-- a lot of it was for you." "Yeah, that's all right there." "I wish you well." "Look, I owe you one." "I got your back, all right?" "But if you fall into trouble again, he will not be there." "Will you, sir knolte?" " Sir knolte?" " I've paid my debt, and now I must leave." "Knolte was once one of the greatest knights in all of england, until he fell for one of percival's tricks and the queen lost her throne." "That was a long time ago." "I've laid down my sword, and I will not fight again." "What-- knolte!" "Uh..." "But check this out." "Knolte!" "Sir knolte!" "I still say we should move camp." "It's just a matter of luck percival's roving patrols have yet to discover us." "An interesting suggestion." "Now here's another interesting suggestion." "Serve more gruel." "You know, y'all dead wrong." "You're dead wrong." "This is a lady here." "Vicky, I want to thank you for helping sir knolte save my life." "Actually, the plan was mine." " No shit?" " I shit you not." "Though I had to tell everyone it was something I'd heard from a great warrior." "Otherwise, no one would have listened to me, a woman." "Oh, so you like me a little more than you-- did you have a nice time with the Princess?" "Wait!" "Look, the only reason i slept with the Princess, 'cause I thought she was you." "That's true." "That's the real, true bill." "True bill." "Okay?" "It was dark, and I had no night-light, and I'm telling you-- whatever you think i want to hear." "I think all our words have been said." "Hey, Vicky, i can help you get out of here, way out of here, take you to a place where a smart woman like you can do more than just ladle gruel." "Look, if you show me how to get to the lake, tomorrow you'll be at fox hills mall getting your legs waxed, huh, drinking mai tais, chilling." "So what's it going to be?" "Gruel, leprosy, mean-ass king?" "Mai tais, chilling, bikini, thong?" "I realize that our backward rebel society is far from perfect, but it's a step in the right direction." "Now is the Eve of our great offensive." "I can live with losing the good fight, but I cannot live with not fighting it." "The lake you seek is that way." "Safe journey." "Hey, old sot." "I have no quarrel with you, sir." "Finally, the lake." "Better not come out on the other end fighting dinosaurs." "All right, think, think, think." "It's not my fight." "Yeah, that's it." "It's not my battle." "That's right, it's-- it is not my battle at all." "Yeah." "So-- ahem-- let's do this." "Home, sweet home." "Perhaps I'll stand you to a drink." "Oh." " Thank you." " Now..." "Bless you." "Man, I think it's time to admit you have a drinking problem." "I want my grog back." "Pick it up." "Now, you don't want to be messing with me, 'cause I'm liable to stuff a mudhole in your ass." "You know?" "It's an insult, dumb-ass." "I have killed six men with these." "What do you move for?" "It's called boxing." "Ho." "Huh?" "That's called a rope-a-dope." "Look at the footwork." "Look at the footwork." "Whoa." "♪ You know it. ♪" "Now let me introduce you to my little friend." "Knolte." "Come on, man." "I know you got my back." "Knolte is not a fighter." "He is not even a man!" "All right, wait." "Knolte:" "Get up." "Get your ass out of here." "That's right." "That's what I'm talking about." "Well, perhaps there's life in the old dog yet." "Oh, man!" "High-five." "This is a high-five moment." "Yeah, put your arm up." "Right here, like that." "Well, we'll work on that." "We'll work on it." "Hey, you a bad man." "You put his face in the shit." "Yes, I did." "Oh, man." "Hey, knolte, we was a great team back there, right?" "Like Shaq and Kobe." "Shaq and Kobe?" "Well, I'll explain it to you when we get back to the camp." "I loved it, man." "This "rope-a-dope,"" "could you teach me its mysterious ways?" "You know, you just let your man tire himself out, right?" "He just get to punching on you, right?" "Then you like that while he like this." "Then he tired, and you ready to really..." "Oh." "What happened?" "Percival's patrols, they found us." "The only men standing are those of us who were away from camp during the attack." "Damn!" "Victoria told us this would happen." "Victoria!" "They took her." "Now she's lost, like our cause, just another bauble in the king's crown." "Look here." "We just got to rescue her." "You know what I'm saying?" "Take out the king." "That's right." "Uh..." "Who here will fight?" "Rebel:" "You think anyone will come to help us?" "Who's ready to rumble?" "Nobody?" "I will." "That's what I'm talking about, knolte." "But we are greatly depleted, both in number and in spirit." "Nothing could inspire them to ever fight again." "Woman:" "These men might fight for their queen." "The queen." "What's happening now?" "How you doing?" "He's French." "Sir knolte." "I am pleased to see you." "For all this time, i thought you were dead." "Well, I was." "Your majesty, I was." "I" "I beg your forgiveness." "I should not have left you alone." "If you had not, you surely would have been killed with the others." "I'm therefore grateful that you did." "But now that you've returned from the dead, it is time to return me to my throne." "Will the men fight again on my behalf?" "Oh!" "I can answer that." "Ain't nothing happening." "You know?" "They dragging ass." "I asked them that same thing." "They go and act like they ain't hear me." "Didn't they?" "Didn't they, knolte?" "This is my friend Skywalker, a man of unconventional wisdom and courage." "What do you think, Skywalker?" "I think they're going to need a pep talk." "You know what I'm saying, your highnessness?" "They going to be needing a major pep talk." "Got to get up in here." "My queen could inspire the stars to fall from the heavens." "Gather the men that I might give some words to stir the soul and burn the blood." "England!" "Sceptered isle of lute and chattel, void your rheum upon my bosom!" "Oh, england!" "Man:" "I've heard enough." " Oh, england!" " Blah, blah, blah, blah." "Whoa, whoa." "Whoa." "Why don't you let me give it a try, you know, see if I can give 'em the old al sharpton?" "Well-- there once was a great king!" "Rodney king, who said..." ""Ow!" "Ow!" "Ow." "Officer, I was-- ow!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Get 'em off-- ow!" Bzzt! "Aah!"" "And who also said," ""can't we all just get along?"" "We need a knight, not a Jester." "I'm going to go and start digging our graves." "Well, I say sometimes we can't just get along!" "Sometimes we got to take up arms!" "Look hear what I'm saying." "Your lives are shitty." "I know, because I've been there." "I know the feeling of waiting for your ship to come in and you're standing in the middle of the desert." "Oh, england, you lost your kingdom." "You live in huts." "You look like hell." "Well, you do!" "Check your feet out." "Look at your feet." "Mm-hmm, see?" "Restore this lovely queen to her throne." "'Cause when you can do that, she promises that there will be a horse in every stable a chicken in every pot." "That's right." "Mwah, mwah, mwah." "Can I get an amen?" "I said, can I get an amen?" "!" "Amen." "Can I get an amen?" "!" "Amen!" "Amen!" "King Leo he thinks he's king Arthur." "Well, I know king Arthur." "And you, king Leo, are no king Arthur!" "No king Arthur, indeed!" "No king Arthur!" "No king Arthur!" "Ask not what your fiefdom could do for you, but what you could do for your fiefdom!" "Now, sir knolte, bring me back my crown." "Your majesty, it will be an honor." "Whoo!" "Jamal:" "♪ king Leo got a great big castle ♪" "Men:" "♪ king Leo got a great big castle ♪" "♪ and we're going to shove it right up his asshole ♪" "♪ we're going to shove it right up his asshole ♪" " J' sound off ♪ - ♪ one, two ♪" "♪ bring it on down ♪" "♪ huh, huh, huh-huh. ♪" " ♪ Get up offa that thing... ♪ - whoa!" "♪ And dance till you feel better ♪" "♪ get up offa that thing... ♪" "Yeah, that's tight!" "Right to the chest." " Jamal:" "I'm loving it." " "Tight."" " ♪ Unh... ♪ - "that's tight."" "♪ Everybody ready?" "I yeah, yeah!" " ♪ Get up offa that thing... ♪ - yeah, yeah!" "♪ And shake till you feel better ♪" "♪ get up offa that thing... ♪" "Try not to mount his ass next time like that." "♪ Get up offa that thing ♪" "♪ and shake till you feel better... ♪" "Ooh!" "Oh!" "One, two, three." "Yes!" "Jamal:" "Yes!" "♪ Get up off... ♪" " Set!" " ♪ huh ♪" " Red shift!" "27 blue!" " ♪ good god ♪" "♪ so good... ♪" " Oh!" " ♪ everybody ready?" "♪" "Loving it, yeah!" "See what I'm saying?" " Splendid." " Yeah, that's tight." "♪ Get up offa that thing ♪" "♪ and shake till you feel better ♪" "♪ get up offa that thing ♪" "♪ and shake it, sing it now ♪" "♪ get up offa that thing ♪" "♪ and shake till you feel better ♪" "♪ get up... ♪" "Here you go, man." "What are these?" "Some new jumps for when you lead your troops tomorrow." "Thought it might be easier for you to get around if your feet didn't weigh 500 pounds." " I thank you." " It's all good." "I too have something for you." "John!" "What's this?" "A knight must be properly attired." "You and I both know I'm no knight." "You're as much a knight as any man I know, should you so choose." "Sleep well." "Man:" "The portcullis is open, unguarded!" "Where is percival?" "Where are the guards?" "Knolte!" "Man:" "Be brave, lads!" "Hold the line!" "Hold the line!" "Slaughter them!" "It's him!" " It's the black knight!" " Run away!" " Retreat!" " The black knight!" "He lives!" " It's the black knight!" " Look." " The black knight!" " I can't believe it!" "It's him!" "He lives!" " It's the black knight!" " It's the knight." " The black knight." " He lives." "It's the moor!" "Blue 27!" "Set!" "Hut, hut, hut!" "Yeah, yeah!" " Whoo!" " Whoo!" "I'll take him." "Good idea." "Knolte:" "Hah!" "Is that all you got?" "I pray you, is that all you possess?" "Huh?" "Phillip." "The kingdom is falling!" "Be not afeard." "I have everything in hand." "Are you mad?" "You must help me flee." "You must get me to safety." "Shut up." "Boo-yah!" "Watch it!" "Good, eh?" "And that, my friend, is the rope-a-dope." "Yeah, that's what I'm talking 'bout!" "Hey, hey, knolte, you the man!" "Yeah." "Knolte." "Knolte." "You're a brave knight." "It's been an honor fighting beside you." "Take this." "You know what to do." "Victoria:" "Let me go." "The black knight." "Drop the sword, or I kill the girl." "Let her-- let her go." "Do it." "Don't do it, Jamal!" "So now the moor's a swordsman." "Now you shall die at my hands, as knolte did." "Ohh!" "Let me ask you something." "You like baseball?" "Jamal:" "Huh?" "Or maybe you like basketball." "Maybe golf?" "Flipping!" "You can thank tiger for that." " You okay?" " I'm sure I'll be fine." "How's your neck?" "You were very brave." "Let me help you up." "Jamal!" "Knolte!" "Long live the queen!" "' Yes!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Knolte!" "Jamal:" "We will have an amazing life together." "I think you're going to love L.A." "Victoria:" "But I was thinking" "I'm not going back without you." "You know, I'd go to the end of the earth for you." "That's only six miles from here." "You got a lot to learn." "Teach me." "You want me to teach you?" "'Tis a strange way to-- it's French." "Oh." "Skywalker, are you both still determined to leave us?" "We hate to lose such a brave warrior." "Nothing personal, miss queen." "But knolte's right." "I got my own battles to fight, you know?" "That's my bun." "You hooked me up with her." " Mm-hmm." " Yeah, yeah, yeah." "She knew I was down with somebody cool so, you know, started liking me." "In acknowledgment for your service to the crown," "I dub thee sir Skywalker, the black knight." "Clear." "Clear!" " That's the last of 'em." " What?" "His vital signs appear normal." "Jamal!" "Jamal!" "Yo, you okay, man?" "You scared the hell out of me." "You was under that water for, like, 10 minutes." "Hey." "Yo, where's Victoria?" " Vic-- - who?" "Stop playing, man." "Vicky." "Victoria, my bun!" "Jamal, what you talking about, man?" "What?" "Vicky?" "Dude, you know, a workplace accident like this, we can sue." "There ain't no honor in that, man." "Don't think I don't know what you doing here." "You fake you some accident, get you a lawyer, and walk away with my money." "Well, it won't work." "I done already went ahead and took your advice." "What advice?" " I quit." " Wait." "Whoa." "Ms. bostick, you can't quit." "Okay?" "We can work it out." "We just got to fight, that's all." "You on the pipe?" "Ms. bostick, look." "I know things can get a little scary, but courage isn't the absence of fear." "It is the presence of fear, yet the will to go on." "Jamal:" "Good." "Good." "I'm loving it!" "All right, how's the babies?" "Everybody's good?" "Good." "Ah, this is lovely." "How you doing, my queen?" "I always knew you had it in you, Jamal." "Well, I'm just glad you like it." " I love it." " Good." "Good." "No." "No, no, you can't be scared of it, all right?" "Try it again." "Oh, loving it!" "Woman:" "Way to go, Bobby!" "Thanks." "I think that's the first time he actually hit the ball." "You look familiar." "So do you." "Name's Jamal." "Nicole." "My friends call me Nicky." "I work in admissions up at the college." "Is that where we met?" "Maybe." "I registered for some night classes." "Can I ask you where you got that scar?" " This?" " Yeah?" "Oh, it's from a long, long time ago." "Well, maybe I could take you out to lunch." "You could tell me all about it." "I'd like that..." "Very much." "All right." "Good." "Bobby:" "Hey, aunt Nicky!" "L qot to go." "Yeah, well, it's nice meeting you." "I didn't get your number!" "Excuse me." "Yeah." "Oh!" "Oh!" "Man:" "Release the lions!" "♪ Say, get up j"" "♪ and dance to the music ♪" "♪ get on up ♪" "♪ and dance to the music... ♪" "♪ Dance to the music ♪" "♪ dance to the music ♪" "♪ dance to the music ♪" "♪ dance to the music... ♪" " Hey, Greg." " What?" "♪ All we need is a drummer ♪" "♪ for people who only need a beat, yeah ♪" "♪ I'm going to add a little guitar ♪" "♪ and make it easy to move your feet ♪" "♪ I'm going to add some bottom ♪" "♪ so that the dancers just won't hide ♪" "♪ you might like to hear my organ ♪" "♪ I said, "ride, Sally, ride" now... ♪" "' Cyflthia!" "' What?" "!" " Jerry!" "' What?" "!" "♪ Lf I could hear the horns blow ♪" "♪ Cynthia on the throne ♪" "♪ a' yeah a'" "♪ listen to me ♪" "♪ Cynthia and Jerry got a message they're saying ♪" "♪ all the squares ♪" " ♪ go home ♪ - j'yeah ♪" "♪ a' yeah a'" "♪ listen to the voices... ♪" "♪ Dance to the music ♪" " ♪ whah, hah ♪ - ♪ dance to the music ♪" "♪ yeah, yeah, yeah ♪" "♪ dance to the music ♪" "♪ ooh, darling ♪" " ♪ said ♪ - ♪ dance to the music  ♪" "♪ yeah, yeah. ♪"