"The soul man is recorded." "Before a live studio audience." "I'm just saying, I don't know why these things." "Always have to be so damn gloomy." "It was a funeral, stamps." "Did you see the way that man's family was fighting." "Over his property?" "He wasn't even cold yet." "No, pop, he was pretty cold." "All right, yes, I touched him." "Babe, help me make some coffee." "Are you sure we're brothers?" "That's what your mother told me." "Your eulogy was beautiful today, baby." "You really are a good preacher." "Well, you may not be saying that tomorrow." "What happens tomorrow?" "Remember I used to talk to you about yvette springer?" "Your old high school girlfriend?" "The first girl you..." "Yeah, uh-huh, yeah." " yes." "I remember you used to say," ""oh, I can't keep my hands off her."" ""she drove me crazy."" "Whatever happened to her?" "I'm seeing her tomorrow for counseling." "Say what now?" "She's having marital problems, and the only reason" "I'm telling you this is because we always promised." "To be open about this sort of thing." "Now, look, if you're uncomfortable with it," "I understand." " No..." "Boyce, it's fine." "It's your job." "I mean, what has it been, like, 25 years?" "Your little girlfriend can't compete with all of this." "no, she can't, baby." "No, she can't." "Let me see you do the coffee walk." "Uh-huh, nice." "people..." "After what I saw at that funeral today," "I don't want my children fighting over my inheritance." "When I'm gone." "So I've decided." "To announce my last will and testament tomorrow." "How's noon for you?" "Yeah, I should be up." "You don't want us to fight." "Over your inheritance when you're gone." "That's right." "You want us to fight over it now." "Exactly." "Where's the fun if I'm not there to see it?" " The Soul Man " " S01E05..." "Thank you all for coming." "We are gathered here today for the reading." "Of barton moses ballentine's last will and testament." "God rest his soul." "Now I won't read you all the facts and figures." "Let me just say that the monetary portion." "Of his estate is divided evenly between his children." "To his son sherman boyce..." "Sherman." "Who has recently come back to the fold," "The deceased leaves his house and all his worldly possessions." "Wow, dad, that's very generous..." "Except to his youngest son, fletcher Emmanuel," "Who calls himself "stamps" for some reason," "He leaves his 1969 chevrolet camaro." " Oh!" " Okay." "May I rest in peace?" "Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." "Stamps gets the camaro?" "Well, you know, bro," "I don't mind that you get the house and everything." "I mean, that's as it should be." "But you get the camaro." "You get the house, boyce." "Yeah, but I don't get that till after you die." "He gets to drive the camaro tomorrow." "Actually, I was thinking about taking it out." "For a spin this afternoon." "We'll talk later." "I might not be able to hear you, ha, ha!" "Through the camaro." "Vroom, vroom!" "I hope you're having fun." "Oh, I am." "Hold on, pop." "Boyce..." "Who is that girl in your waiting room, man?" "She looks real familiar." "It's yvette springer williams." "Hoo, hoo!" "Bro, didn't you used to..." "Court her?" "Man, that was almost, like, 30 years ago." "I mean, time has not been kind to any of us," "You know what I'm saying?" "Except her." "Reverend ballentine, hi." "And look at you, stamps, you're all grown up." "Yeah, look at you, all grown up." "Come on... come on in." "Holy magooza." "Hey, yvette, how are you?" " I'm good." " Good, how you doing?" "So boyce ballentine became a preacher man." "That is the last thing in the world that I expected." "Now are you sure this is not gonna be weird," "Me counseling you, since I know you so well?" "I wanted to talk to you because you know me so well." "Isn't your husband coming?" "Oh, boyce." "We split up, it's over." "I can't believe it." "Oh, wow, I'm sorry to hear that." "I feel like a total failure." "You are not a failure, all right?" "You're a very beautiful..." "Person." "See, that's why I had to come talk to you, boyce." "You always said the right thing." "Do you remember how much fun we used to have." "In the back of your dad's camaro?" "I got to get that car back." "And now look at me." "I've been stuck in a marriage." "Where there's no communication or honesty." "I mean, we don't even talk, there's no affection," "We haven't made love in six months." "Ooh, that's not good." "You probably have a great marriage." "I do." "So how often do you and your wife have sex?" "Well, now..." "I don't think that's appropriate." "More than once a week?" "God, yes." "What... what..." "I give up." "You know, I-I guess he just got tired of me," "Or maybe we got tired of each other." "Yvette, now, you can't give up on love." "You got to fight for it." "Remember how you felt when you first fell in love?" "I sure do." "Well, you got to rekindle those feelings." "Get the heat of that fire going again, you feel me?" "Yes, I do." "If he were here right now, what would you say to him?" "I would tell him that I-I still love him," "And I would tell him that breaking up with him." "Was the biggest mistake of my life." "There you go." "Act on those feelings." "I love you, boyce ballentine." "Mm!" "You really need to work on your counseling technique, son." "I can't believe I just did that." "Look, you were just reaching out anywhere." "For a little comfort." "But this is not the way to do it, my sister." "You can't just run up on me like that." "I'd better go." "You... you won't tell anyone about this, will you?" "Counseling is confidential." "Now, of course, I've got to tell my wife." "We have a policy of full openness in our marriage." "Wow, that is so sweet." "I could just kiss you." "But you won't." "You're right." "I-I should just go." "Good thing I forgot my will." "Looked like you were headed for trouble." "Oh, that was nothing." "She was just upset." "It's called transference." "It's very common." "Yeah, she was transferring her tongue to your mouth." "You're not seriously thinking." "Of telling lolli about this, are you?" "Of course." "I'm gonna do the right thing." "The right thing is to keep your mouth shut." "Take it from somebody who's been in this position." "What are you talking about, dad?" "Women will keep throwing themselves at you." "It comes with the cloth." "Preachers are basically the rock stars for the lord." "Your wife would be happier not knowing about this." "May I remind you I am boyce the voice?" "I've been a real rock star." "I had groupies throwing themselves at me all the time." "He did." " And I always turned them down." " Yeah, he did." "And they always went home alone." "They didn't." "Look, dad, I always told lolli all about it," "And that's how she knew to trust me." "If she found out I was keeping something from her," "It'd be trouble." "Son, let me tell you something." "The truth in a marriage is a precious thing." "And should be doled out sparingly." "It's okay that some things go unsaid." "And trust me, one of those things." "Is getting kissed by the first girl you took." "For a ride in the camaro." "Yeah, maybe I should keep this to myself." "Wise choice." "What she don't know won't hurt you." "What is that delicious fragrance you're wearing?" "Fabric softener." "All right, now I want to know." "How your counseling session went." "How did yvette look?" "Oh, poor girl." "Yeah, 25 years is a long time, you know?" "Especially with gravity being what it is." "How can she keep up with..." "All of this?" "Mom, dad, guess what." "Stamps took me for a ride in his camaro." "Oh, that thing can fly." "And the surround sound is cray." "Surround sound?" "No, that car had the original push-button radio in it." "Well, it doesn't anymore." "He put speakers everywhere." "Oh, he can't do that." "You know, your grandfather and I worked on that car." "All through my high school years." "Some of my happiest memories of that man." "Are all wrapped up in that car." " Baby, it's just a car." " I know, babe." "I should let it go." "Let it go." "Hey, bro." "What you doing to daddy's car?" "Oh, you mean my car?" "Well, I just made a few modifications." "You know you can't have a fine ride like that." "Without chrome rims and hydraulics." "Zzz!" "Zzz!" "All right, that's it." "How much you want for it?" "What?" "After I fixed it up?" "Fixed it up?" "I can think of another F-word of what you doing to it." "Look, I don't need the house, all right?" "I already have a house." "So why don't I give you the house for the car?" "What you think this is, dog, monopoly?" "Don't make me throw you out of my houses." "Don't make me tell lolli what I saw today in your office." "You gonna snitch?" "Look, okay, you know what?" "That's only gonna work for so long, all right?" "Because I'm gonna tell her." "Matter of fact, I'm gonna tell her right now." "Babe, dinnertime." "Well, I can't tell her right now." "She got a knife in her hand." "Hi, are you mrs." "Ballentine?" "Yes, I am." "Did you want to make an appointment?" " I'm yvette williams." " You are?" "Huh..." "Well, sir." "Looks like gravity's been real good to you." "yeah, it's pilates." "Um, I just..." "I had to come talk to you." "I feel awful, and I just want you to know." "That your husband had nothing to do." "With what happened at his office yesterday." "He didn't?" "No, it was all me." "He didn't even kiss me back." "Not even when I threw myself at him." "Really?" "And when he told me he was gonna tell you about it," "I thought to myself," ""now, why can't my husband be more like boyce?"" "He shares everything with you, and that must be so nice." "It is." "I'm gonna share something with him tonight." "I know that look." " You do?" " Damn straight." "That mean you ready for your teddy." "To be in the beddy." "Okay, well, before I get to my teddy," "Let's have a little chat." "You do anything interesting yesterday?" "Not as interesting as what I'm about to do." "Well, guess who came in the salon today?" "I'll bite." "A lot." "Yvette williams." " She did?" " Yeah, and..." "I thought you said she hadn't aged well," "But she looked pretty hot to me." " Oh, you think so?" " Yeah." "Well, I don't..." "I was counseling her," "And you just don't look at people the same." "When you're counseling." "'Cause you had on your counseling goggles." "That's exactly it." "Plus she was crying, and she is a ugly crier." "So were you able to help her out?" "I did what I could." "'Cause she looked like she'd been helped." "She looked like she'd been helped real good." "Did she talk to you?" "About what?" "I don't know." "About things." "No things in particular." "Because I want to tell you something, okay?" "And I'm just gonna say it, okay?" "Okay." "When she was talking about her marital difficulties..." " Yes?" " I..." "Told her how much we have sex," "And, you know... and look, I know it's a breach of trust," "But she asked and I only used it to illustrate a point." "You were, huh?" "Illustrating?" "Yeah, I like to illustrate." "Whew!" "Ha." "I am glad I got that off my chest." "So that's enough about work." "Let's get back down to business." "Good night, boyce." " But..." " My business is closed." "But teddy was ready." "hi." "I'm so glad you called." "I thought that after last time," "You wouldn't want to counsel me anymore." "We are way beyond counseling." "I understand you met my wife?" "Oh, yeah, love her." "She's gorgeous." "That's nice." "Tell me, did you mention anything that happened here?" "You mean our kiss?" "That was your kiss." "Tell me exactly what you told her." "Well, I did mention the kiss to her," "But she seemed very understanding," "And I knew you had already told her about it." "You... you did tell her about it." "No." "She's my wife." "You're my hot ex-girlfriend." "I did not tell her." "Oh, my god, boyce." "I'm so sorry." "I feel terrible." "It's just that I've been starved for attention..." "And affection for so long." "Okay, all right, that's it." "Session's over." "All right, you got to go." "Okay." "I'll call you." "Lord, why you make this so irresistible?" " Hey, big bro." " Why you hate me, dad?" "I don't hate you, son." "Then why'd you give me the worst advice" "I've ever gotten in my life?" "What do you mean?" "You told me not to tell lolli about yvette." "Then yvette went and told lolli herself." "Oh." "Then you probably should have told her first." "Thank you." "You know, and another thing:" "How could you give stamps the camaro?" "That was our camaro." "We worked on it together for years." "That's exactly why I gave it to him, son." "We had the happy memories of building that car." "I didn't have that with stamps." "Stamps, when you were little, I was so wrapped up." "In the ministry," "I'm afraid I didn't have much time for you." "I guess I took you for granted." "And boyce, you have so much." "What's stamps got?" "Nothing." "Absolutely nothing." "Oh, girl." "My husband isn't home." "You'll have to get your kisses out on the street." "I deserved that." "Uh..." "Well, come on in." "Look, I just found out that boyce hadn't told you." "About the kiss before I did." "Wait a minute, how did you find that out?" "Did you see my husband again?" "Yeah, he asked me back to his office." "How can one man make so many wrong decisions?" "It's not his fault." "It's me, it's all me." "My heart was broken, and I just reached out." "To the first man that showed me any kindness, lolli." "Can I call you lolli?" " No." "You have a great marriage, lolli." "You don't know how lucky you are." "You got one of the good ones." "You don't know what it's like to be with someone." "Who totally cuts you off from his heart." "I feel so isolated." "And so alone." "Uh, okay, girl, uh..." "You know what?" "It's not you, it's him." "There are other fish in the sea." "Um..." "Wow, you really are an ugly crier." "Come here, girl." "I don't deserve to be loved." "Okay." "You do deserve to be loved." "You just haven't found the right person yet," "That's all." " Oh, lolli." "My screen door don't swing that way." " Did I just do that?" " Yes, you did." "And if that's the same kiss you gave my husband," "I understand why he didn't tell me about it." "Well well, what's wrong with me?" "You keep kissing everybody!" "That's what's wrong with you." "Now, did you do that before your marriage ended?" "'Cause that might've been part of the problem." "You're right." "I-I should just go." " Yeah." " And thank you so much." "For being so understanding." "Okay." " So understanding." " What..." "That's enough of that now." "Okay." "Save some for the mailman, huh?" "Hey, uh..." "What... when did you get home?" " Oh, I just came in." " Oh." "So how was your day?" "Just fine." "So..." "So..." "Well, you've got anything you want to talk to me about?" "You've got something you want to talk to me about?" "Not really, no." "So we are good?" "Yes!" "we..." "We are good." "Good." "Good."