"Well, boys, we finally made it." "The premiere of our very own DVD." "This place is a zoo." "Technically, no." "It's the biggest night in Hollywood." " Hollywood!" " Tonight we hit the big time." " Oh, boy!" " Commence Operation DVD." "Go, go!" "Rico?" "Weapons check." "Kowalski?" "lntelligence." "Substantially above average, but I don't like to brag." "Oh, the map." "Right here." "Private?" "Snack cakes." "Swiss delight." "Nilla creme." "And a peanut butter winky." "All right men, let's move in." "Private?" "Dibs on the peanut butter winky." "Easy does it, men." "This could well be a trap." "Rico?" "Well-played, Skipper." "It seems Dr. Blowhole isn't as smart as he thinks he is!" "I don't think the peanut butter winky made it, Skipper." "Curse you, Blowhole!" " Blowhole." " Well, peng-you-ins." "We meet once again." "Well, well, Blowhole." "It's been a long time." "Well, well, well." "Too long." " Well, well, well, well..." " Enough!" "I suppose you are wondering why it is that I have laid a ridiculously complicated trap for you." "Actually, yes, I am." "Why tell, when I can show?" "You'll appreciate this, Kowalski." "I have installed a lair theater system." "High definition with surround sound." "Extremely spendy." "Why do the bad guys always get the good stuff?" "Hey, hey, hey." "Eyes on the big screen!" "See?" "Delicious dipped in butter." "What's your point?" "Now imagine if this crustacean had an exoskeleton of shiny metal!" "Peng-you-ins, I present..." "Chrome Claw!" "Did you feel that subwoofer?" "He's just rubbing my face in it." "Without you peng-you-ins around to foil my plans," " I will unleash..." " Chrome Claw!" "...on an unsuspecting world!" "With this mutant monster at my side," "I will rule land and sea!" "Back up to that "without you" part, please." "I get the gist." "Rico!" "We got us a laser show, boys." "Who's foiled now?" "Foiled?" "Private!" "Snack cakes!" " ls this really the time to..." " Private!" " Say what?" " Kowalski!" " Wait..." " Aspirate Swiss Delight, bottlenose!" "You have seen the last of Dr. Blowhole!" "Good." "Run." "Oh, you think..." "Right." "I mean this is the last you will see of anything!" " Oh." " Self destruct in..." "Five seconds!" "That's right, we had only five seconds." "But we escaped with half a second to spare." "It was a ripping adventure!" "A dolphin supervillain?" "No, I totally believe you." "No, really, Marlene." "He's our arch enemy." "Pure evil, with skin that's surprisingly pleasant to the touch." "Look, I've got the mission file to prove it." "That's top secret, Private." "Eyes only." "My eyes." "I'm not even sure about your eyes." "Let alone her eyes." "Actually, Skipper, these files are de-classified now." "Pinhead pencil pushers." "They have no idea." "They're..." "They're nice." "Look, I know you guys do your commando thing around here, and you do it, you know, well." "But, come on." "I mean." "Secret lairs?" "Chrome Claw?" "Superspy stuff?" "Please..." "Did you say... spy?" "I'm a spy!" "I've been spying on you this whole time." "I could have a fancy spy car that can shoot things out of the headlights." "No... fog lights." "They won't expect that." "You, Ringtail?" "Facing the likes of Dr. Blowhole?" "He's pure evil, with skin that's surprisingly pleasant to the touch." "You wouldn't last five minutes." "Oh, dear, we're open!" "I still say I could be a spy guy." "Mort, if this is a ploy to get to the royal feet, it's very clever, but ineffective." "What is that on you, anyway?" "You smell like the fishweed." "Who the hecks are you?" "No!" " Private." " Sorry, Skipper." "I'm not feeling very cute or cuddly today." "Oh, stop." "You're always cute and cuddly and you know it." "I'm just cheesed that Marlene doesn't believe in Dr. Blowhole." "Better that she doesn't, Private." "Imagine if she blabbed and that mad doctor discovered our secret Zoo H.Q." "Dr. Blowhole!" "Satellite targeting has a lock on the enemy." "And they are subway convenient!" "Excellent work, Red One." "Prepare peng-you-in transmission." "Peng-you-ins." "I have found you." "Blowhole!" " Where is he?" " Greetings, my flightless foes." " Oh, he's only on the TV." " Get off of our TV!" "I have been spying on you peng-you-ins for months with state-of-the-art lookie-loo technology." "Always." "Gets." "The good stuff!" "Yeah, he's fine." "Go on." "Right." "Anyway, I have unmasked your Achilles heel, Skipper." "Your greatest vulnerability, aside from the flightlessness." "You fiend!" "You've cut off the peanut butter winky supply lines!" "What?" "No." "But somebody write that down." "I have struck the cruelest blow of all." "I assure you, Skipper, your world will be rocked." "Life will be drained of meaning." "For..." "I... have... captured..." " ...your best friend!" " Help!" " Ringtail?" " I have been king-napped!" "By ninja shellfish." "This is outrageous!" "And a little embarrassing, quite frankly." "You think he's my best friend?" "Skipper, don't play coy with me." "My brain is bigger than your whole body." "Look at you two!" "Obvious BFFs." "Kowalski!" "Decode." "Buffalo Fire Fighter..." "No." "Baby Fat Flinger..." "No." " Best Friends Forever." " You're stark raving mad!" "Not you, Kowalski." "Him." "Let's not be making him madder." "This time, I will triumph." "Just try and stop me and your fuzzy little buddy sleeps with the fishes." "Technically, fish don't sleep, so much as rest." "You'd think a dolphin would know that." "Unless he means..." "Can you believe that Blowhole?" "" Fuzzy little buddy?"" "You and Julien do spend a good bit of time together." "Quality time." "Ringtail and I are not friends, case closed." "That said, let's go rescue him." "What?" "It's the penguin way." "A penguin never leaves his fuzzy little buddy behind." "You'll find sarcasm is more effective if you don't giggle it out" " like a naughty school girl, Private." " Right, sir." "One thing doesn't add up." "If Julien is missing, why hasn't anybody actually missed him?" "Skipper!" "Why so jumpy?" " Mort?" " What?" "Why is he letting you touch his feet?" "It's not because he's a fake King Julien." "You know, come to think of it, the King has been a little low maintenance." "Mort, is there something you haven't told me?" "Only that ninja lobsters tied me in kelp and replaced the real King Julien with this one that lets me touch his feet." "Why?" "ls that all?" "Glowing red eyes?" "That's almost never good." "My car!" "Kowalski, run a trace." "Picking up salty sea air, roller coaster grease and all beef wiener..." " ...with mustard." " Coney Island." "Subway convenient, at least." "No." "They'll be expecting that." "Commence butt wiggling now." "Wiggle butt." "Carbonation agitation reaching critical level and lift off!" "Question:" "Why are we laughing?" "Question:" "How did the prisoner escape?" "The prisoner escaped?" "ls he dangerous?" "No." "And apparently he isn't very bright." "I know the type." "So, let's talk." "I can't see!" "Then I will be your eyes." "Turn left." "Turn right." " Then do a loopy move." " Get off me!" " See?" "We make an excellent team." " What?" "I am willing to overlook your fishiness." "A dolphin is not a fish!" "I am all mammal, I assure you." "If you say so..." "Fishyface." "No, really." "Why do you think I have this hole in my head?" "Yeah, I was trying not to stare at that." "To breathe!" "Oxygen!" "Mammal!" "Then you and I are much alike." "Oh, please." "Lobsters!" " You're poking me!" " Can't help it, Doc." "My hands are all soft." "And look at that, what is this?" "Thumbs!" "Two of them!" "They make my hands handy for picking things up." "Fine." "Your skin is surprisingly pleasant to the touch." "Always make time to moisturize." "So, I have a proposal for you." "Not the marriage kind of proposal." "A different kind." "Hold that thought." "I'm on top of it, Doc." "The splash zone." "Good seats." "Come on, come on." "Boss man needs a treat." "Help!" "Nice work." "Let's find Ringtail." "There he is." "Hello, slap-happy penguins!" "He doesn't look very captured, does he?" "Not even a little." "That would be a horrible way to treat my partner in crime." "The King... the King's feet..." "The King's feet must be saved." "Mort, I'm telling you." "You gotta chill, man." "The penguins are on the case." "The King needs me." "I am so glad you could all be here to witness history." "I am, of course, especially pleased that my flightless foes graced us with their presence." "Wouldn't miss it for the world." "There's nothing good on telly tonight anyway." "Well, Private, here's a little show I whipped up." " lt's called..." " Ring of Fire!" "It is fitting that I have returned to the very aqua-theater where I performed tricks for the dullard humans." "Oh, how it made me bitter." "Sorry, did he say bitter or better?" "Hard to say." "The sound really bounces around in here." "That would be the high ceilings." "My humiliation in the Ring of Fire became my inspiration." "ln the frozen North, we have constructed a vast circle of absurdly pricey devices that tap into the heat of the earth's core." "Oh, come on." "Do you mind?" "I'm just getting to the good part." "It's really quite a shocker." "It's so obvious." "Humiliated by the humans..." " Activate the Ring of Fire..." " Melt the Arctic..." "Well, how did we do, punk?" "You're... in the ballpark." "And then the planet's water levels will rise... and rise... and then..." " Jet skis for everybody!" " No." "Then I will have my revenge because the humans will be jumping through hoops!" "Oh." "Can I have a jet ski then?" "You know, we're gonna stop you." "You can try." "But this time, I have an army of crustacean warriors!" "Yeah." "We can take 'em." "Oh really, Skipper?" "Give us all you peng-you-ins got!" "So they cut down ten, twenty lobsters!" "We've got more lobsters!" "Yeah!" "Hey, wait a minute." "How can the penguins do anything?" "They are thoroughly trapped." "Trust me." "They never stay trapped." "Don't lose hope, boys." "Sometimes all it takes is one lucky serendipitous break." "The King's feet must be free!" "I took the subway." "Mort, I am not even a prisoner." "Oh, and by the way... not the feet!" "Nice work, Sad Eyes." "See?" "See?" "This is what I'm talking about." "Lobsters, attack!" "Lobster pile!" "You have to understand, he's just such a freak." "Ring of Fire activated!" " You fiend." " You know it!" "Come, fellow evil mammal." "Join me and bask in our victory." "I do like basking." "This is Chuck Charles coming to you live from the Arctic Circle, where these mysterious and sinister towers have erupted from underground." "Apparently these towers tap directly into the Earth's core." "And they form a giant..." "Sorry." "They form a giant circle around the North Pole." "This can only be described as a Hoop of Heat." " Ring of Fire!" " I do not like this show." "Me neither." "Let's pull the plug." "Oh, Skipper, you have more urgent matters to deal with." "Like what?" "Like a certain mutation I like to call..." "Chrome Claw!" "So you did get around to making that monster." "Yes, and I'm rather pleased with how he turned out." "That would be extremely impressive if it weren't about to..." "Put an end to this madness." "I am victorious!" "I am suddenly moving backwards." "Hey!" "Off!" "No need to panic." "I'm smarter than that egomaniac." "The big red button turned it on, therefore the big blue button must..." "Heat output increased to a ludicrous level!" "Arctic meltdown will now be even faster." "Thank you, Kowalski!" "The North Pole is surely doomed as this Hoop of Heat melts the ice and snow at an alarming rate." "This is Chuck Charles, and I cannot swim." "Help." "Green!" "The green button will surely..." "Heat output increased beyond all reason." "Kowalski, status report." "Mostly not good with hints of horrible." "You have failed, Skipper." "Bad news for non-swimmers." " Blowy!" " I'm a little busy." "Can't you see we're tussling?" "I just thought everyone should know that I am not on the side of evil." "I am a double agent!" " What?" " What?" "I am a good guy spy!" "Ring of Fire shutdown in progress." " Purple was my next guess." " No!" "Yay for King Julien!" "He's the best double agent ever!" "This is Chuck Charles reporting that the planet, and more importantly, I, have survived this disaster." "You have foiled my plan for revenge." "But for that, I will get revenge." "Wait, are we talking a new revenge here?" "Revenge against the humans." "Revenge against you." "Yes, I've got a whole bunch of revenges all piling up." "And it's not pretty." "If you ask me, the " not pretty" part was the bad guy running away like a scaredy baby." "He was no match for me." "Double Agent Spy Guy." "You're kidding, right?" "No, Marlene, you are wrong again." "Shut it!" "I helped." "Julien the Double Agent saves the world?" "Come on." "So I face danger and the adventure of a lifetime and nobody will ever know about it?" "Welcome to my world." "That makes you an honorary penguin." "Does that mean I am your BFF?" "We'll keep that code on the QT." "King Julien is a Buffalo Fire Fighter." "OK, boys, let's review." "Our mission to take out Blowhole was a success." "I think my big scene's coming up next." "Roger that." "Hit it!" "Cute and cuddly, boys!" "Maurice, this smoothie is the yuck!" "Make me a better one." "You got it, Your Majesty." "I'll make you a better one." "Now that is a smoothie I can call groovy!" "That's 'cause of the secret ingredient." "It's the same smoothie." "Just grosser." "Gotcha, Maurice." "I just don't feel right about this." "Made a mistake when you messed with me" "Should have known better and let it be" "Making dumb choices is one of your flaws" "So look out, baby, here come the claws!" "Yeah, here come the claws!" "Yahoo, here come the claws!" "Embarrassing, Marlene." "Quite embarrassing." "I still don't feel right..." "What?" "OK, Mr. Bunny." "Time to make night-night!" "You're so cuddly..." "Bingie likes his bunny?" "lnteresting." "I just don't feel..." "Gentlemen, Operation:" "Sneaky Peek is a success." "We now have sensitive intel on every animal in the zoo." "But Skipper, aren't the animals our friends?" "Young Private, a friend is just an enemy who hasn't attacked yet." " That's not very friendly thinking." " I know!" "Why are they attacking us?" "This collection of sordid secrets guarantees that we'll have the upper flipper when they do." "Still, holding these secrets is an awesome responsibility." "If any were to leak, it would be chaos." "That's why I'm classifying Operation:" "Sneaky Peek tip-top, tippy-top-top-top secret." "Wow." "That's even more secrety than your delicious Monkfish Surprise recipe!" "Exactly." "So if anyone asks..." "you didn't see anything." "Skipper..." "One and two and three and four and..." "Private, put a little hustle in your muscle." "Sorry, Skipper." "Didn't sleep well last night." "I kept thinking about Operation:" "Sneaky..." "Private!" "Those words must never be spoken aloud!" " Sorry." " Tell you what, skip the calisthenics and go get yourself some chow." "Aye, aye, Skipper." "Tender-hearted tenderfoot." "Kowalski, make a note to wring that tenderness right out of him." "Aye, Skipper." "Needs a little something." "Hot sauce!" "Perfect!" "That ought to give these sardines a little kick." "Not bad!" " Good workout, men." " Tesla's coil!" "Please!" "Tell me you didn't consume the contents of this bottle!" " I did." "The hot sauce was very tasty." " This wasn't hot sauce!" "It was truth serum!" "You put truth serum in a hot sauce bottle?" "Of course!" "Hot sauce is truth serum, grape jelly is sleeping gas, and ketchup is amnesia mist." " Where was I...?" " And what's mustard?" "Well, it's a tangy condiment you put on your hot dog." "Sounds delicious." "Point is, for the next few hours, Private will be unable to do anything but tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth." "Observe:" "Private, do you honestly like Skipper's Monkfish Surprise?" "No. lt tastes like elephant sweat." "But everyone pretends to like it to spare Skipper's fragile ego." "My whole life... is a lie!" "So, we've established the effectiveness of the truth serum." "OK, but this won't be a problem." "I mean it's not like we have anything to hide, right?" " Oh, yeah." " Help!" "A desperate cry for help." "Roll out, men!" " Private, mum's the word." " OK, Skipper." "I don't know how he got in, but if we don't get him out soon," " he'll be buried alive!" " Help!" "I am... trapped!" "Ladder formation on three." "Uno, dos, three!" "I'm buttery!" "Oh, thank you, Penguins." "I was really getting worried about the popity corn." "Sure." "Happy to help." "Now, if you'll excuse us..." "Why the rush?" "Stay!" "Celebrate!" "No can do." "Big fish to fry." "Come on!" "What, are you actually afraid you're gonna have some fun?" "No, Marlene." "Skipper's afraid I'll tell everyone your embarrassing secret." "Secret?" "What secret?" "That you fancy yourself a pop superstar and perform imaginary concerts every night." "How do you guys know about that?" "Have you been spying on me?" "Muffle the blabbermouth!" "No, Marlene." "We haven't been spying on you." "We've been spying on everyone." "We know all your secrets." "Bing sucks his thumb." "Phil cheats at chess." "The spider monkeys aren't even half spider." "These are very embarrassing secrets we are hearing." "Julien picks his nose." "My secret gold-digging shame exposed!" "Get him!" "Mason is really Canadian." " Burt has a..." " Oh, no you don't!" "I don't want anybody knowing about that tattoo!" "I was young and foolish and in..." "Hey!" "Look, tell anybody about my Tijuana vacation and I swear, buddy boy," "I'll stomp you into paste!" " Kowalski, secure the Private!" " Aye, Skipper!" "Here he is!" "And there he goes." "Spill to me the mostjuiciest of the gossips!" "Mort loves you just for your feet." "It's true!" "It's so true." "Well, duh!" "Come on!" "More with the spilling." " And Maurice secretly..." " OK, thanks for coming!" "Bye!" "What was he going to say, Maurice?" "That secretly I think you're the greatest king that ever lived!" "Maurice, that is no secret!" "Rico, about-face!" "OK, so all I wanna know is, do you know about the...?" " Yes." " And how I like to...?" " Yes." "Yes." " With the...?" "You know what?" "Not cool." "No, not cool at all." "Friends don't spy on friends!" "I am so embarrassed." "If you think that's embarrassing, you should see what Kowalski does when he thinks no one's watching..." "Rico, floor it!" "Not in reverse." "Well, should be smooth sailing from here." "Bail out, men!" "Kowalski, status on the angry mob." "Mob's still there." "Mob's still angry." "Hello." "What's all this then?" "Private!" "Welcome back from La-La Land!" " Thanks." "Was I gone?" " Yep." "You accidentally spilled the beans on Operation:" "Sneaky Peek." "Oh, yes." "I remember." "Sorry, Skipper." "Not to worry, Private." "We'll just stay safely locked up in here until this whole thing has..." "You penguins are gonna pay for violating our inalienable rights of privacy and whatnot." "What am I supposed to do now?" "What's this?" "Amnesia spray!" "Fantastic!" "What's this?" "Amnesia spray!" "Fantastic!" "What's this?" "Amnesia spray!" "Fantas... tic." "Hey, should I sit on them individually?" "Or do I go for the group squish?" "Why drag it out?" "I say one and done." "Kowalski, options!" "Get fresh air while you can!" "OK, here we go!" "I'm dropping booty!" " Forget!" " What's that?" "You hear something?" " Forget!" " I hear it, too." "Forget, everybody!" "Forget!" "What...?" "...am I doing?" "I'm feeling a little discombobulated here." "I'm kinda dizzy myself." "I'm gonna sit down right here." "What have we done to deserve this?" "Watch where you park that thing, pachyderm!" "Sorry!" "Didn't see you there." " What are we doing here?" " I dunno." "I can't remember." "I remember." "It is a party!" "A party for me!" "A me-esta, if you will." "A you-esta!" "Now where are my gifts?" "Present me with the presents, already." "You know, it's weird." "I can't remember a thing from the last week." "If it was worth remembering, we'd remember it." " Rico, might I have a stick of TNT?" " Yep!" "Thanks!" "Private?" "What was that?" "Nothing, Skipper!" "Just my little secret." "Hit it!" "Cute and cuddly, boys!" "Skipper, we're picking up an outgoing airborne target." "It's on a north by southwest heading." "Air speed two and a half knots." "Altitude is four meters and climbing fast... five meters... six..." "Private, you know how I feel about the metric system." " We go with feet and inches." " ldentifying target now." "It looks like we have another "Runaway Red" on our hands, Skipper." "Why is it always the red ones?" "My balloon!" "On my mark..." "Now!" "Yeah!" "Gentlemen, today's operation was a success." "However, I have to ask..." "Are we ready for the Big One?" " The Big One?" " El Grande Enchilada." "Not the eating kind of enchilada." "The in-your-face, knock-you-on-your-posterior kind of enchilada." "So, it's not actually food?" "Kowalski, we don't know what it actually is." "Then how can we know if we're ready for it?" " That's what today is all about." " The Big One's today?" "Affirmative." "The Big One is coming today." "Around four-ish." "Fortunately, I have spent months preparing for the Big One." "And when my plan was complete, I knew what I had to do." "The plan was secured in a lock box." "And, under the cover of darkness, I chose a top-secret location, at which I buried the top-secret plan." "A remote area of the zoo where no human or animal ever goes." "Until, of course, they complete construction" " of the new Children's Zoo." " What?" "That's where the Children's Zoo is going to be." " Groundbreaking is today." " Blast!" "We only have four hours until the Big One." " We need those plans." " Perhaps a diversion." "It's Live at Five's Chuck Charles!" "From the telly!" "We're here live at the Central Park Zoo for the groundbreaking of the new Children's Zoo." "There's our diversion." "I'm going in." " Do you think Skipper needs back up?" " Our Skipper?" " Skipper?" " Awaiting orders." " Oh, boy." " We must get him out of there!" "What should we do?" "Commence Operation..." "get Skipper out of the locked van?" "The name needs work, but let's do it!" "What was that?" "You were supposed to catch me." "No, we were supposed to pick the lock." "Boom!" "Boom!" "Boom!" " Skipper!" " OK." "Who hid my hair spritz?" "Hey, what happened in here?" " Are you all right, Skipper?" " Get out of my shot." "This is Chuck Charles, with your late breaking local news." "ls he talking to the wall?" "Something horrible happened inside that news van." "I wonder..." "Theoretically, it's possible the electrical receptors inside Skipper's brain picked up the signals from that van and reprogrammed his functional sensors to mimic the patterns of behavior" " shown on the broadcasts." " You mean?" "Yes." "I think we can safely say that Skipper is stricken with Anchormanesia." "I'm Chuck Charles and we're your Live at Five news team." "Gil Force with weather." "Scooter Alvarez on sports." "And, as always, my co-anchor Bonnie Chang." "Bonnie Chang?" "But the Big One is coming!" "We still need those plans!" "And, even if we get the plans, we still need Skipper to be Skipper." "All right." "I will randomly combine liquids and powders until I find a cure!" "This could take awhile." "I'm with the Live at Five news team here on the scene." "You are a penguin." " How's that weekend forecast, Gil?" " I'm Private." "Look, I waddle." "And you waddle, too." "Because you're a..." "Chuck Charles, and I know the news." "Look!" "Penguins swim." "Well, Gil, looks like another wet and that's the news." " Status report?" " Still Chuck Charles." "And the Anchormanesia cure is a bit behind schedule." "We only have one hour!" "Yeah." "I need at least 7,000." "Years." "Don't worry, Rico." "Skipper's gone?" "Here's your Live at Five exclusive interview with..." "King Julien." "Yes, but you can call me King Julien." "Do you have any comment about the rumors?" " What rumors?" " Don't play coy." "We all know what they're saying about your royal family." "Lies!" "All lies!" "This interview is over." "And we're... out." " Fantastic interview." " Well, thank you." "Care for some fruit?" "It is tasty and nice." "Except maybe the grapes." "I'm not 100 percent on those." "Could your grapes be poisoning you?" "Find out at five." "And we're... out." "News I can use." " Let's not be running off." " Chuck Charles has a..." "The technical term for our situation is "doneski."" "Bonnie, are you doing something different with your hair?" "I like it!" "Skipper would want us to go get those plans." "But how can we do that when Skipper..." "Now over to Scooter Alvarez with the highlights and the lowlights." "I am not Scooter Alvarez!" "I don't even know what a Scooter Alvarez is!" "OK." "We're just going to have to..." "to do it without him." " But..." " I know." "But what choice do we have?" "Skipper would want us to carry on without him." "Keep an eye on Scooter." "He's not quite himself today." "No, I'm here with those scores or my name's not Scooter Alvarado." " Alvarez." " Exactly." "OK." "We're going to go out for awhile, Chuck." "So you just stay here in the... studio." "According to the map, we should be digging... over there." "With all this construction, there are too many witnesses." " Must think." " What would Skipper do?" "Precariously perch himself high atop the crane?" "I don't see how that would help." "Oh, it won't." "But that is what Skipper's doing." "This is your Live at Five Eye in the Sky." " He is not making this easy." " Easy?" "Was it easy for Manfredi and Johnson when that undersea escape tunnel turned out to be the business end of a beluga whale?" " They couldn't even speak for a month." " And even then, it was gibberish." "So if this is going to be hard, that's fine with me." " Yeah." " Let's do this thing!" "And all other things required of us." "Can you describe to the folks at home how you're feeling right now?" "You heard it here first." "This is Chuck Charles reporting." "Do I connect the red one to the blue one or the blue one to the red one?" "I dunno." "That's the sort of thing Skipper would normally decide." "Be honest with me." "Do you like my good side..." "or my even better side?" "But there isn't anything normal about this." "Perhaps if I bypass the..." "Stop!" "I see the plans!" "Come on, we have to hurry!" " Got it!" " Yes!" "Yes!" "What did we do?" "How should I know who moved the dozer?" "Our top story:" "Chuck Charles and the news team get buried alive." "Well, at least we saved the top-secret plans." "Although it might have been preferable to not be buried alive with them." "Yes, Rico, it is just about four-ish." "Then we'd better check out Skipper's top-secret plan." "What?" "ls the team ready for the Big One?" "We shall see." " Afraid not." " But what is it?" "Some sort of natural disaster?" "You might think it might be some sort of natural disaster, but you'd be wrong!" "No, the Big One is the greatest challenge of all." "What happens if one member of the team is out?" "What if we didn't have young Private's heart, or Kowalski's brains or Rico's appetite for reckless destruction?" " I dunno!" " I suppose that would be bad." "Or what if the team leader were inexplicably acting like a pompous anchorman?" "What if, indeed?" "Yes." "What if..." "Hang on..." "You were faking it!" " Bingo." " lt was all a test?" "And the team came through!" "Huzzah!" " We're ready for the Big One!" " Yes, we are." "We are also running out of oxygen." "Kowalski, give me options." "Rico sets an explosive charge under this, blasting it straight up through the dirt and rock." " And we all hang onto it." " Sounds like a wild ride." "Rico?" "I don't get how a bulldozer just turns on by itself." " We did it!" " We kicked Big One butt!" "And we're... out!" "Clock's tickin', boys." "We're going undercover." " Can we wear wigs?" " Kowalski." "Right." "Hit it!" "Cute and cuddly, boys!" "Feed the penguins!" "Two bucks!" "Animals." " Now, Skipper?" " Not yet, Private." "You gotta play hard to get." "Make 'em beg for it." " Over here!" " Hey, penguins!" "Entertain me!" "I'm beginning to sense restless hostility from the crowd." " We're gonna lose them." " OK." "Commence adorable hijinks." "Go, go, go!" "Executing waddle with odd, but somehow strangely endearing body shakes." "Pretending to lose my balance and face-plant into the pool... now!" "I call belly-slide duty!" "Let's make it extra cute and cuddly today, boys." "Yeah." "Perfect." "Look how beauticious you are." "And this apple here is looking pretty good, too." "No." "Not "feeding the Penguins" time!" "How am I supposed to enjoy my breakfast with all of the savage, fishy smelling fishes assaulting my kingly senses?" "Maurice?" "The royal nose clamp." "There." "That should do the trick." "Kowalski, irresistibility reading." "The crowd's appetite for our enamoring antics is reaching optimal levels." "Beautiful." "Hit them with the tail-wags." "No mercy." "And... cease tail-wagging!" "Always leave them wanting more." " There you go!" " Yeah!" " We did it!" " Fish are incoming." " Three, two..." " Wake up your taste buds, boys." " What are these?" " How's the catch of the day, gentlemen?" " Looks fishy, Skipper." " Fish are supposed to look fishy." " No, I think he means "fishy."" " Good fishy or bad fishy?" "Definitely bad fishy, sir." "That's strange." "There's no fish stank." "Nothing." "You are right!" "The fishy smelling fish fumes are no more." "We shall wildly celebrate!" "And I am talking about more than usual," " you know what I mean?" " But if it's not fish, what is it?" "It appears to be some kind of molecular soy composite, Skipper." "And we're supposed to eat this chow?" "We're penguins, man, we need fish!" "Real fish." "Technically, these cakes do meet our nutritional requirements." "OK, boys, let's give it a shot." "Maybe it's more of an acquired taste, Skipper." "Right." "We go again..." "And again." "And again!" "And again!" "Abort!" "Abort." "This has gotta be some sort of freak experiment." "A one time thing, right?" " We're... charming." " We're..." "loveable." "We're hungry... for real fish!" "Three days and I am loving this life, baby." "No fishy-fish fumes fuming from the fish eaters." "You see, Mort?" "I am so happy, I forgot, for a second, how disgusting you are." " Look at you." " Hi." "Fish!" "Fish!" "Fish..." "Sixty-seven hours without the succulent, salty tang of the sea." " He can't take much more." " Neither can l." "What I'm about to show you is highly classified." "Slide, Private." "Sorry, Skipper." "I don't know how the holiday snaps got in there." "This, gentlemen, is our target." "One standard rest..." "One standard restaurant grade fish truck." "Where are we on cracking this code, Kowalski?" "It's fiendishly clever encryption, Skipper." "Well, I have secured the services of a specialist for aerial surveillance." " I get a cut of the haul, right?" " You'll get your fair share, Pinky." "No, never." "We cannot allow them to return the ferocious fishing fishy smell to my kingdom." "Gather around." "Now, we need to be doing exactly what I say." "Starting with paying strict attention to me talking right now." "Right now." "Now." "This is Wiener One." "I am up and operational." "Target is on the move." "Repeat, target is on the move." "Roger that, Weiner One." "We are southbound, approaching rendezvous." "Target turning east onto 23rd street." "Eye in the Sky is a go." "Thirty-four seconds until fish." "Prairie Dog Blue and Prairie Dog Red are in position." "Roger." "T-minus five, four, three, two, one." "Stopping target." "You are "go" for insertion." "Go fish!" "Private, I want confirmation that there is food on that vehicle." "That's affirmative." "But it looks like the food is us." " Skipper!" "Help!" " Hang on, Prairie Dogs!" "Kowalski, keep your eyes on the target." "I am locked on, Skipper." "This is Weiner One." "Are we aborting mission?" "Repeat, are we aborting mission?" "Gentlemen, we are penguins." "We have a natural need to feed on the fruits of the sea." "That's the way Mama Nature built us." "Now, who wants to spit in the eye of Mama Nature?" "That's what I thought." "We are "go" for operation." "Target is turning right onto Broadway." "I am sending it to extraction point." "Locked!" "We're in!" " Job well done, boys." " We have enough fish to last forever!" "Fish!" "Fish!" "Fish!" "One small problem." "We could not allow for you to return to eating the savage smelling, foul-fuming fishy fish." "So I planned to come up with my own carefully planned plan." "To plan to steal the stinkies ourselves." "And my plan all went accordingly..." "to plan." "So, you see, we have the crates with the real fish, while yours are filled with only the phony fish cakes, so..." "Oh, nice try, Ringtail." "But I know how much you hate the smell of fish." "I was expecting a move like that." "Which is why I switched the crates before you even got back to the zoo." "But I was expecting you to be expecting that." "So we switcher-ooed the crates on the pier before the fish got loaded onto the truck." "Doesn't really matter, because I just switched these crates during your last flashback." "I switched them while you were saying that you switched them." "I switched them the last time you blinked!" "Yes, but I pretended to switch them so you actually switched them back." " Oh, but I double-switched." " And I triple-switched." " I million-zillion-switched!" " I switched them to infinity!" "So you have to shut up a little bit." "But what you didn't see coming is that I am actually you!" "OK, nicely played." "But if you are me, then by processing of elimination," " I must be you!" " Maybe." "Maybe." "But if you are me and I am you, then we must both be..." "Enough!" "Can we just crack these babies open and get this over with already." "Please?" "Fish cakes?" "They're all the phony fish cakes!" "So I am the winner!" "Right?" "I think so." "Can we get an official ruling on this so I can better enjoy my gloating?" "But where are the real fish?" "I have a theory." "Suckers!" "Hit it!" "Cute and cuddly, boys!" "Screwdriver." "Calipers." "Spork." "Ostrich feathers." "And finally, bubble gum." "Blueberry." "Fine work, Kowalski." "What is it?" "I have no idea." "Let's just keep it under wraps until you do." "Hey, guys, guys!" "Private, interference!" "Rico, stash the invention!" "Kowalski, look natural." "Guess what!" "Quiet, Marlene!" "We're testing Kowalski's new invention." "Private!" "Top secret." "Yeah, 'cause you're doing a real good job of hiding it." "I'll have you know we're close to an exciting breakthrough." "You want exciting?" "Try this on:" "Guess who's getting a new roommate?" "That's right lt's me New roommate" "New..." "New..." "New what what?" "OK, so they're transferring someone into my habitat." "So we can totally hang out and swim and style each other's fur, it's gonna be perfect!" "Too perfect." "How can you be sure this new roommate isn't actually some sort of spy?" "Come on." "A spy?" "Sent here to steal the plans for Kowalski's new invention." "Here's a little something that I try to keep close to my heart:" "Try looking for the best in people 'cause you'll always find it." "That's cute and naive, Marlene." "Manfredi and Johnson were cute and naive." "Well, Manfredi was the cute one, until their little Nairobi surprise party." "Friendliness beats paranoia." "Still cute." "Still naive." "Cute and naive..." "Mr. Always-Assume-The-Worst." "OK, just gotta perk up the place with some fresh flowers, comfy pillows, yummy snacks..." "Guys, I have a door." " Right over there." " Sorry, Marlene." " Skipper thought you should see this." " They're zoo transfer papers." "Your new interloper... roommate, arrived in-country this morning." "On a Class F freighter." "OK." "A Class F freighter is only used for animals weighing 1500 pounds or more!" "If the average otter weighs 13 pounds, that means exactly 1 15.384 otters are headed here right now." "Fifteen hundred pounds?" "That's gotta be a mistake." "Besides, if my roommate did land this morning, it means she'd be here any..." "Excuse me?" "Hi." "Hi, there." "I'm Marlene." "You must be my new roomma..." "Rat!" "Disgusting rat!" "I'm not a rat!" "I'm your roommate!" "Really?" "'Cause with that rat face, you must get mistaken for a rat often." "Actually, no." "Mostly because I'm an otter, see." "And my name's Mar..." "I'm Rhonda." "So help yourself to the sardines there, Rhonda." "They're kind of a "welcome to the zoo" kinda thing." "And I actually thought maybe we could..." "So, where do I bunk?" "Oh, yeah!" "You must be exhausted." " We're tight on living space, so..." " This'll work." "Remember, boys." "We may not be dealing with 1 15.384 otters at all." "It might very well be one giant, mutant, 1 ,500 pound otter." "Or six large, semi-mutated, 250 pound otters." "Or 1 ,500 tiny, one pound otters, right Skipper?" "I like where your head's at, soldier." "Yeah, it's so not otters." "You mean because of how grotesquely they've all been mutated?" "No, no, of course not. lt's because my new roommate is a walrus." "For the record, is this walrus spy mutated in any way?" "She's not a mutant!" "And she's not a spy!" "She's just huge and kind of gross." "I've tried to be nice to her but nothing works." "Well, we could always arrange a nice long trip for her, right Rico?" "What?" "No!" "No!" "I can't do that!" "I mean, she's not that bad." "It's just, maybe we just need to get to know each other." "Wake up, Marlene." "You can't get along with everybody." "Oh, I am awake." "Yeah, mostly 'cause she snores really loud." "OK, but still, with the right attitude, you can make any situation work." "You'll see." "I'll prove to you that I can get along with Rhonda just fine." "You watch me." "Take me out to the ball game" "Take me out to the ball..." "Good morning, Rhonda!" "How's the water?" "Even better now that I added my own bubbles." "If you know what I mean." "Yeah." "I got that." "And all over my pond, too, thanks." "You know, you really might want to consider... ls that my hairbrush?" "Oh, this is yours?" "Here, I'm done anyway." "Just be sure you clean it before you give it back." "Give it back?" "But it's mine." "That's what I said." "Just clean it before you give it back, OK?" "But I..." "You can't..." "OK." "Look, Rhonda, maybe we need to set up some ground rules here." "Ground rules." "Sure." "I hear ya." "Great." "Great." "Now, if we work together and just respect each other's..." "Heads up!" "Booger alert!" "Wait, what?" "Excuse me?" "False alarm." "Did I mention I have a chronic sinus thing?" "That does it!" "Listen up sister, I..." "How are you two roomies doing?" "Great!" "We're doing great." "See!" "We are like sisters!" "Oh, really?" "You seem a mite worked up." "No, I'm good." "Who are you, anyway?" "As far as you're concerned, I am nobody." "Does he always just barge in like that?" "Talk about pushy." "My home!" "It's ruined!" "And wha... what's..." "What's that smell?" "Finally, I'm exhausted." "Good night, Rhonda." "Night-night." "Take me out to the ball game" "Take me out to the ball game" " Take me out to the ball game..." " Stop!" "Stop, please!" "Please!" "Please!" "You are driving...!" "Rhonda, Rhonda, it is clear that we are very different animals." "And that's great." "You know, I believe, in my heart, that no matter how much distance there is between them," " two animals can..." " Hey!" "Rat face, where's that hairbrush you were supposed to give back to me?" "It's mine!" "It's mine!" "You cannot use my brush to scrub your disgusting..." "Hold that thought!" " Here comes another one!" " Oh, no." "Here." "At least cover your face with this." "Oh, no!" "The towel, don't use me, the towel...!" "That was a close one." "Thanks." "Rat face?" "Why?" "!" "Why?" "lntruder!" "Kowalski, initiate the self-destruct." "I want you guys to get rid of Rhonda tonight!" "Right now!" "But you're like sisters." "I don't care if we're identical twins!" " I want her gone!" "Forever!" " Cancel self-destruct." "Now I know you're all worked up." "Maybe you should calm down, think things through before you..." "She used me as a tissue!" "Talk to me, simians." "Here it is, two shipping containers, both scheduled to leave..." "Whichever one's going furthest, put her in it." "Just make sure it ships out of here tonight, you hear me?" "Kowalski, options." "We can't close the top, Skipper." "We may have to abort, wait until tomorrow to..." "Cut of my way, soldier!" "Hey, Rhonda, I got a song for ya." "Take me out to the ball game" "Take me out to..." "Bye-bye, Rhonda." " Home sweet..." " Marlene!" "You might want to take a look at this." "It's the shipping label on Rhonda's crate. lt's headed for Alaska." "Private, I don't care if that crate is going to a polar bear reserve." " I am done..." " But it is!" "It is?" "It is what?" "Going to a polar bear reserve!" "But polar bears eat walruses, don't they?" "What have I done?" "We need to stop that crate and bring Rhonda back!" "I thought you hated that spy." "For the last time, Rhonda is not a spy!" "And yes, yes, I hate her." "But I'll hate myself even more if I let something bad happen to her." "Not on my watch." "There's the crate!" "I'm on it, Skipper." "Marlene, wait!" "I've got to save her!" "This is an ideal time to try out my invention." " Will it help?" " Couldn't hurt." "Just throw it to her!" "Of course, I suppose it could hurt very much in that I still don't know what it does." "So that's what this does." "What the heck is this doing here?" "This crate's supposed to be going to the Hoboken Aquarium?" "Whatever." "Well, at least she wasn't a spy." " Marlene, have you seen my invention?" " Yeah, sure, it's right..." "I mean, it was right..." "lying right..." "Agent 12 calling Dr. Blowhole." "I have a priority one coded alert:" "Take me out to the ball game." "Repeat:" "Take me out to the ball game." "Agent 12 out." "Hit it!" "Cute and cuddly, boys!" "What?" "What is it?" "!" "I didn't touch it, I swear!" " Evacuate!" "Evacuate!" " We're under attack!" "Gentlemen, if this had been an actual tennis ball machine uprising, we would've lost, game, set, match." " This... was a drill?" " Affirmative." " Sorry, Skipper." " Don't be sorry, Private." "Be alert." "You never know when our enemies are about..." " What in the hamsteak?" "!" " Skipper... is this part of the drill?" "Here you go, Doc." "Four penguins, ready for treatment." "Why thank you, Alice." "This is just a routine visit to the doctor." "Turn and cough, boys." "Turn and cough." "OK, who's my first victim?" "Wow." "That's a big needle." "Let's start with you, friend." "This is all routine, men." "Nothing to..." "Nothing to fear here." "Just a routine visit." "Totally normal." "Don't panic, men!" " Keep it together!" " OK." "Next." "Be strong, Kowalski!" "Be strong!" "Good Galileo!" "Galileee...!" "The man's a butcher." "Rico, evac!" "Move, man!" "Move!" "All righty, you're up, pal." "OK, and now..." "Think again, Dr. Deranged!" "I don't do needles." "I don't mean to be cheeky, but why'd the doctor have to give the shot in the bum?" "Our fleshy buttocks make ideal distribution points for injected medicines." "Unfortunately." "Listen to us carrying on." "It was just a little pin prick." "Skipper'd be ashamed of us." "Yes." "I expect him to drop through that hatch any moment and call us a bunch of whiny babies." "Bug out, men!" "Bug out!" "Our entire operation has been compromised!" " Compromised?" "!" " ls this another drill?" "Negative!" "All you need to know is we've got to..." "Evacuate!" "Evacuate!" "Pack light!" "Only the essentials." "ln less than two minutes, we leave this base forever!" " Forever?" " Forever!" "Forever." "I've got the zoo in total lockdown." "Nobody gets in, nobody gets out." "ls that really necessary, Alice?" "Yes!" "I'm telling you, that penguin is a tricky one!" "Lockdown." "They're on to me!" "I mean... us." "This complicates our escape considerably." "Hot dog cart at three o'clock." "Roll out." "Rico, lights!" "Kowalski, options." "We'll need a diversion." "I suggest releasing the spider monkeys." " Bedlam is their middle name." " They never disappoint." "Amid the chaos, we escape through the South entrance." "Good, and then?" "Then we getjobs as holiday store displays!" "When we've earned enough money, we build a new secret lair!" "One with laser beams!" "Laser beams!" "Solid plan, Kowalski." "I dig it!" "Me too." "But I do have one question." " Shoot, little Private." " Didn't you get your shot, Skipper?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Of course I did." "What could possibly make you think such a thing?" "The doctor didn't take your ankle tag." "I can't lie to you men." "We're leaving this zoo because I'm a..." "You're a...?" "No." "I'm a..." "I'm not familiar with that term." "I'm a... lt sounds like he's trying to say he's afraid." "Private, that's the most absurd, ridiculous, nonsensical..." "No, Private's right!" "We're leaving the zoo because I'm afraid to get a shot." "Actually, I kinda suspected." "Skipper, there's nothing to fear from a visit to the doctor." "Except his big, sharp needle and its slow burn of pain that..." "That doesn't feel as bad as it feels." "We'll be at your side every step of the way." "Gentlemen, it's an honor to serve with you." "Come on. lt's time to stop running." "There she is." "Just waddle over and turn yourself in." "Nothing to it, right, Skipper?" "Skipper?" "Skipper!" "You really don't want to get that shot, do you?" "I don't think we're gonna catch him." "Clearly, he is the master, and we, his unworthy students." "If we don't find an answer soon, Skipper may leave the zoo grounds" " forever." " Forever?" "Evacuate!" "We can't lose Skipper." "There must be some way." "Wait." "Alice is looking for a penguin wearing an ankle tag, right?" "Private, you're not thinking...?" "Indeed I am!" "I think." "If you are thinking what I think you're thinking, I think it could be risky." "If it means getting the Skipper back, it'll all be worth it." "OK, here's what I'm thinking." "We change the zoo records to say there are only three penguins." "Hold that thought." "You!" "Freeze!" "I thought you were taller." " Oh, well." " Yes!" "Private's plan is working!" "Phil, I don't know how to break this to you." "There is no "checkmate" in checkers." "You groom your mother with those hands?" "All the trouble you caused." "I should get hazard pay!" "Private's sacrificing himself... for me?" "I say, how long have you been under there?" "Two shots in one day." " Boy's not gonna sit for weeks." " Pardon?" "Private pulled the ol' switcheroo on Alice." "She thinks he's me." "He's gonna take my shot." "Oh, dear." "Phil says if Private has already had one shot, a second one could make him quite ill... or worse." "Doc?" "Hey, Doc!" "I got your missing penguin." "Skipper?" "What are you doing here?" "Saving you from saving me." "But it's all right." "I don't mind taking another shot." "I can always turn the other cheek." "You'll mind if it makes you sick..." " ...or worse." " How worse?" "You know, the chimps didn't say." "I assume you'll grow a second head or something." "I don't want a second head!" "Then hurry, man!" "The doc will be here any second." "You know, Skipper, none of us think any less of you for being afraid." "Well, I do." "My fear almost hurt a friend." "Now get out of here, soldier." "Well, there you are, my little friend." "Now, please hold still." "This won't hurt at all." "Actually, it was excruciating, but it could have been worse." "It's funny how fear feeds on itself, like an engorged tick, ripe with blood" " and ready to burst in a shower of..." " Skipper, please!" "Oh, sorry, men." "The point is, fear of medical professionals is completely unwarranted." "Yes, the benefits to one's health and well-being are simply too..." "Looks like you penguins are due for a visit to the dentist." "The dentist?" "!" "But we don't have teeth." "Hit it!" "Cute and cuddly, boys!" "All hands, intruder alert!" " Oh, hello, neighbor." " Hey!" "Those snack provisions are for authorized personnel only." "Do not worry." "It is only I, King Julien, who is borrowing your delicious food for my stomach." "Yes, that is it. "Borrowing."" "And kick, punch, chop, mulch, duck, spin, back-flip, twirl, bob and weave!" "Weave and bob!" "Plié!" "Punch, kick!" "And... punch." "Hello, neighbor!" "Fore!" "It is OK!" "I have 400 more golf balls where that came from." "I like golf." "I like flying!" "I don't like drowning." " Look out, coming through." " What the...?" "Hello!" "You've run out ofjuice." " Hello, neighbor." " What are you... ?" "But this is our home." "Our HQ." "Our inner sanctum." " You can'tjust..." " I can't hear you." "Television too loud!" "Gentlemen, we need a vacation." " A vacation from that lemur." " We could visit a zoo!" "They have pandas, hippos" " and a lovely house of reptiles." " Private, you do know we live in a zoo?" " But we could visit a different zoo!" " Rico!" "Kowalski!" "Calculate the furthest trip possible from our present location." " Climate?" " Unspecified." " Elevation?" " Unimportant." " Lemur population?" " Zero-point-zero percent." "I've come up with two locations that fit our vacation parameters." " Denmark." " I can't set foot in Denmark." " Why not, Skipper?" " That's private, Private!" "Between me and the Danes." "Very well." "That leaves one location." " The moon." " Gentlemen, we are going to the moon." "And no, there's no zoo on the moon." "Well, we'll never get to the moon at this rate." "Let's pick up the pace." "Men, I present to you..." "the Penguin One." "ls it... safe, Skipper?" " Kowalski?" " Technically speaking?" "Maybe." "Say goodbye to Earth, boys." "But Skipper, Earth has some of my favorite things." "Like cookies." "And oxygen." ""And brown paper packages tied up with strings."" "Kowalski, light this candle!" "T-minus five, four, three, two, one... lgnition!" "Yo, Max!" "Do I look a little, I don't know, chunkier to you?" "I mean, I've been exercising and all, but no matter how I try," "I can't get rid of all this succulent, delicious dark meat!" "Psych!" "Hey, just give it up, hairball!" "You've never caught a bird in your life." "Never have, never will!" "A shooting star." "I wish..." "I wish for a bird that can't fly away." "And..." "I also wish the shooting star doesn't hit me!" "Hello?" "Neighbors?" "I would like to borrow your toothbrushes to scrub my hard-to-reach regions." "If you agree, say nothing at all." "I guess they agree." "This is a once in a lifetime opportunity." "And as long as we are borrowing, how about a little television, Maurice?" "You mean, big television." "Big and heavy." "Good point." "Let me think." "OK." "My brain is saying that the king, which is me, should not have to lift heavy things." "I like heavy lifting!" "Welcome to the moon, boys." "Lemur population: zip, zero, nada!" "Beautiful." "Oxygen reading surprisingly high." "Moon cheese content disappointingly low." "Private, claim this rock in the name of..." "Penguins?" "How did penguins get up here?" "When they... can't fly?" "Thank you!" "I'm picking up a possible alien life-form." "Game on, boys." "Disperse and investigate." "Skipper?" "Hello?" "Aliens?" "A moon rock!" "Oh, it's just a baseball." "That flew all the way to the moon!" " Hello." " Greetings, my little friend." "Excuse me..." "Are you a penguin?" " Why, yes, I am." " A flightless bird?" "That means no flapping, no flying, no resistance." "Kudos, Private." "You've discovered an alien life-form." "A buffet!" "Skipper, this alien is oddly cat-like in structure." "A moon cat?" " Moon cat?" " Greetings, moon cat." "We come in peace." "For now." "You really think that you're on the moon?" " Affirmative." " Well... good." "Because you are." "Definitely." "You're on the moon!" "Welcome to... the moon." "They spotted the crash!" " They wanna take you away!" " Who exactly is "they?"" "The..." "The evil moon warriors!" "We can take 'em." " But that beam is their death ray." " Death ray?" "Bring it on!" "Look, I refuse to let anything happen to you guys!" "You're coming with me!" "And to think, he just met us." "Poor Mort." "Here, let me help you." "Lift with your legs!" "Your tiny, tiny legs!" "Your Majesty, I thought for sure the Penguins would have this place booby-trapped." "Mort, I am starting to think you are not taking this job seriously." " Maurice!" " Hang on!" "Moon cat, I'm touched by your hospitality." "I..." "Yeah." "Well, it's time to eat!" "And now he's making us a meal." "You, sir, are a model of kindness." "Oh, my!" "Do you hear that?" "They're coming!" "You'd better use my teleportation machine to hide." "Teleportation?" "That's pure science fiction." "Which is exactly why I've had to disguise it as a microwave oven." " lt's top secret." " Camouflage." "Well-played." " lt's a bit of a squeeze." " Maybe if you took off the helmet." "This moon cat has opened his home, his heart and his top secret technology to us." "Ten-four on that." "He's downright neighborly." "Hello, neighbor!" "Hello, neighbor." "Hello, neighbor." "You know, Kowalski?" "Maybe I need to sign on to moon cat's good neighbor policy." "Forget the microwave!" " You mean teleportation device?" " Whatever!" "No more foolin' around. lt's time." "Moon cat is so right!" "We can't fool around on the moon any longer." "It is time." "Time to go home." "Wait, what?" "No!" "Thanks for everything, moon cat." "Rico, gift him." "Food?" "For me?" "No one's ever, ever given me a gift before." " Sorry." " You're quite welcome." "T-minus five, four, three, two one. lgnition." "Kowalski, status report?" "I am randomly pushing buttons while we spin out of control, Skipper." "Can I push one?" "I'd feel better." "Prepare for splash-down." "Or crash-down, as it were." "Hello, trap-happy Penguins." "We were just "borrowing" your... lt was Mort's idea!" "Not to worry, my ring-tailed neighbor." "I've had a little attitude adjustment, thanks to my visit up there." "Hey, thanks for the fish!" " So, we didn't go lunar?" " lt seems I forgot to carry the two." "And there's no such thing as moon cat hospitality?" "Looks like we have intruders, boys." "Commence Operation Hammerhead." "Excuse me, hammer whose head exactly?" "That proves it, boys." "Penguins are smarter than mammals." "Really?" "We should have gone on Are You Smarter Than A Lemur when we had the chance." "Next year." "Hit it!" "Cute and cuddly, boys!" "Well, well." "Trying to bury a secret, Ms. Zookeeper?" "Pity for you, penguins never sleep." "Penguins never sleep!" "Look alive, men." "I've got my freak on for recon." "Whistling." "Awfully cheery for someone pushing a suspiciously human-shaped sack," " wouldn't you say?" " I don't know, Skipper." "Sometimes a good whistle makes me feel like a pretty little butterfly." "Can the sweet talk, Private." "You know Rico has gooey love mush sensitivity." "Looks like she's burying the evidence, Skipper." "Above ground, standing up in the busiest crossroads at the zoo." "Putting her gruesome handiwork on display?" "How sick is this woman?" "Please no zombie, please no zombie." "No. lt's worse." "Hello, Mr. Robot Guide!" "Can you tell me where to find the otters?" "Otters that-a-way, lil' rangers!" "Works like a dream." "Goodbye, annoying tour group questions." "It's too horrible for words." "Except these ones." "The words I'm saying right now." "These are fine." "But anything else?" "No-go." "But, Skipper, it doesn't look that horrible." "I like that fearless attitude, Private." "But only a fool could fail to see the danger in this metallic invader." "Step to the sides that way now." "Can you not see that I am coming through?" "Metal wise man, show me, who is the smartest of all creatures?" " Hey, that is right!" "Yes, me." " Make the shiny man do magic again!" "Now show me who has the most attractive bottom." "Amazing!" "How does it know?" "Take a look at our future, boys." "Phase two?" "Robot animals." "It's a classic cost-cutting maneuver, replacement and elimination." "But there's... one, two, three, four..." "four things they didn't count on." "The war on robots starts..." "Skip?" "...now!" "Come on, Rico." "These prissy party favors won't take down that pile of evil robot steel!" "What now?" "That is just disturbing!" "Dy-no-mite!" "The classic time bomb bundle with the LED countdown delay." "Maximum explodability matched with maximum get-away-ability." "Rico, you're a mad genius." "That robo-zoo-guide goes sayonara in half an hour." " High noon." " Skipper!" "Alice incoming!" "Time to take your medicine." "There." "That should keep your lunch down where it belongs." "That dame is a riddle, wrapped in mystery and dunked in nasty sauce." "OK, mission time." "Rico, re-regurgitate that time bomb." "Rico?" "Are you all right, buddy?" "Skipper...?" ""Gack Attack Anti-Vomiting Syrup." "We'll take the 'you' out of 'spew.' "" "Appetizing." "Sorry, old boy." "Looks like you're plugged up till the medicine wears off." "Twenty-three minutes, 1 7 seconds from detonation, Skipper." "So that's their game." "Blowing us up one by one with unregurgitatable gut bombs." "Horrified, yet impressed." "It's so obvious." "I should've seen it coming." "I'm sorry, Rico." "I blame myself." " Not Rico!" "No!" " Not Rico." "Not anybody!" " Kowalski, status report." " Twenty-two minutes, 46 seconds." "Then we've got 22 minutes and 45 seconds to get that bomb out of our buddy's belly." "Rico, my friend, we are gonna teach you to spew again." "Try to keep it in the bag, please." "Shields up." "Not to worry, men." "There's more than one way to make a penguin puke his guts out." " Really?" "How many..." " Seventeen." "Just don't ever ask to see number 12." "I smuggled this out of the zoo-venir shop." " A nature documentary?" " Wait for it." "This is Antarctica, icy home to the playful penguin..." "Hey, that looks like Uncle Nigel!" "...plump prey for the insatiable blood thirst of this leopard seal." " That image will haunt me." " lt's just a boring documentary." "Bet you can't eatjust one, Mr. Seal." "Well, Rico, I'm sorry it's come to this, but I had Kowalski whip up a little concoction called Number 12." "Two scoops of squirrel lint, a dash of baboon spit, used kitty litter, one hippo toenail, and anything we could find in the monkey cages." "Whoa, Mama!" "Bottoms up!" "Only four minutes, 26 seconds left!" " Kowalski, ideas!" " That bomb is not coming out." "We could send a man inside to defuse it, if we were about yay tall." "How close are we to shrink ray technology?" " Seven hundred years." " Curse you, shrink ray!" "Make that 712." "Who is burping up the stinking fog of lint and spit and unspeakable things from a kitten, and..." "I don't even want to know what that part was." "It smells like the circus!" "Am I going to the circus, too?" "Why is the circus so dark and slimy?" "Hey, there's popcorn down here!" "Hooray!" " Hey!" " The bird's gone carnivore!" "Quick, we must flee!" "Maurice, distract them by being eaten!" "Tiny lemur, listen very carefully to Kowalski." "He's gonna talk you through this." "OK." "All right, Mort, you need to get to the bottom of the stomach." " Down the spiral staircase?" " Take the elevator. lt's quicker." " OK." "Do you see the time bomb?" " I see an old squeaky toy." " Oh, I see it." "I see the bomb!" " Good!" "Very carefully separate the blue and yellow wires from their sheathing, reverse their polarity, then splice both into the ground lead, which should be a slightly thicker copper filament." "Am I going too fast for you?" "OK." "Which of the colors is blue?" " ls this a blue wire?" " No." "I believe that's a kidney." "Sorry, amigo." "Looks like game over." "I never thought it would end this way, but I want you to know" "I love you, you crazy knucklehead." "I... also..." "love... you." "ln the same way expressed previously dude." "I love you too, Rico." "And I love this popcorn!" "It's a little wet though." "What is that noise?" "I know I'm not good with words, Rico and well, either are you, really, but I just want to say..." "you are my brother." "That's poetry, Skipper." "I don't know about him, but this mush is making me want to blow chunks." "Do you mind?" "Where e'er the sun lays softly its head, there will the land whisper:" " Rico, Rico" " OK, now that's poetry." "I just want to see a penguin throw up." "Mort, the bomb!" "Get rid of the bomb!" "I got the bomb!" "Mort is the best!" "I am the winner!" "Mort is so..." "Lil' ranger!" "We... we won!" "And Rico's still alive!" "Come here, boys!" "He was the only one who truly appreciated my bottom." "Hey!" "He's still loving my booty!" "Hit it!" "Cute and cuddly, boys!" "Pop quiz, troops!" " What can't we trust?" " Three-day-old stir-fry mung beans." "Right." "What else can't we trust?" " Badgers?" " What?" "Maybe that's just me." "What I'm getting at is sometimes we can't trust our own eyes." " What do you see, Private?" " Black nothingness, Skipper." "Perfecto!" "Bravissimo, Private!" "Rico, showtime!" "Yeah, yeah!" "Stand down, man!" "Stand down!" "Crudely done, but I admire your moxie." "All right." "Kowalski, feel it." "Sixty-forty cotton-poly blend, with a nylon cross-weave." "Nice." "Kowalski!" "Turn down the old think-melon." "Otherwise..." "Catch my drift?" "Listen to your gut." "Sorry, Skipper." "That's an anatomical impossibility." "Kowalski, what would you do if we actually were under attack?" "Guys, guess what?" "Considering barometric pressure and the Coriolis effect, a sunrise assault would be the best course of action." "Excuse me?" "What in the world are you guys doing?" "I might ask you the same question." "Except for the "guy" part." "What are you doing sneaking about?" "Who's sneaking?" "I'm just heading over to welcome our new neighbors." "No one's seen them yet." "Now, I figured they're just shy." " Wanna come with?" " Not without proper recon, Marlene." "It could be death a thousand times over in that new habitat!" " Venomous vipers, blood-thirsty..." " Badgers?" " ...flying piranha." " OK..." "Yeah, piranha don't fly." "That's exactly what Manfredi and Johnson said back in Ecuador." "We buried what was left of them with a teaspoon." "Right..." "Well, I think I'm gonna go ahead and risk it." "Yeah, but I do appreciate your raving paranoia." "Anytime, Marlene." "Anytime." "I would love to join you in the meeting of the neighbors, but I am far too busy with..." "Maurice, what am I far too busy with?" " Posing for your royal portrait." " I'm an easel." " Mort?" " Yes?" " Shut up a little, OK?" " OK." "Shouldn't my muscle parts be, you know, bigger?" "Pumped a bit more?" "Yes?" "Maurice?" "What is that hideousity?" " That's Mort." " Mort?" " What?" " What did I say?" "Shut up a little?" "Why is Mort in the royal painting?" "Paint him out now, before my eyes smell him forever." "My eyes are still stinking of you!" "Now go with Marlene" " and think about what you've done." " But I didn't..." "I was there and now I'm here." " Hello?" "New neighbors?" " ls it safe?" "It's nice." "A little humid." " And a lot dark and spooky." " I didn't notice." "OK, Marlene, you're just letting Skipper's crazy talk get to you." "Hello?" "New neighbors?" "Welcome to..." " Mort, did you see that?" " No, I see nothing!" "Hi!" "Someone there?" "Anyone?" "Flying piranha?" "Look!" "Footy prints!" "I know these, they are..." "Mort, no!" "You can do it, mate." "Don't think." "Just use your instincts." "Right, instincts." "En garde!" "Wait, which instinct should I use?" " Survival instinct?" "Homing?" "Social?" " Private?" " Should've gone with survival." " Help!" "Help!" "What is with all the screaming craziness?" "I am having troubles concentrating on the beautifical portrait of myself!" "The new neighbors, they took Mort!" "He's gone!" "Who's Mort?" "Oh, my easel." "Right." "I, too, am gasping in horror." "But on the inside, because you know I need that easel." "From the beginning, Marlene." "Give me every gruesome detail." "I can take it." "Well, we felt like something was, you know, watching us." "Then Mort, he found these weird footprints." "And, all of a sudden, these squishy tentacles just shot down and sucked him up!" "He's gone!" "Unknown hostiles with tentacles and feet." "Again?" "If I had a nickel for every time..." " OK, describe the enemy's terrain." " lt was jungley, so let's think they could be from where?" "South America, Africa, Asia," " maybe Australia..." " You've got to focus, Marlene." "You just named four of the eight continents." " There are only seven continents." " I count Atlantis." "And trust me, lemur, if you had my security clearance, you would, too." "Guys, we have to save Mort." "Perhaps we should open up back channel negotiations." "Skipper, I do not think these are the kind of creatures you can reason with." "Don't worry, Marlene." "Neither are we." "Secret panel." "Look at you. impressive." "Rooster's in the hen house, report." " All clear." " All clear." "Perimeter's secure." "Hey!" "Not cool, dude." "Marlene, I told you to leave this to us." " No, you didn't." " ln your mind, maybe." "Movement in sector Victor-Bravo." "Prepare to give this bogey a real New York welcome." "Coming this way." "Closing in." "Six yards, five, four... lt's right on top of us!" "Hello, neighbor!" "Thank goodiness you are here to help my chunky monkey carry me." "I'm big-boned." "You're putting this mission in jeopardy." "State your business." "Why, of course, I am here to give the new neighbors the wondrous portrait of their wondrous king, me." "Oh, yes, and to get back my easel." "I mean Mort." " Skipper, look!" "The tracks." " They're fresh." "Kowalski, analysis." "Reptilian in origin." "Hang on, we've seen these tracks back in Madagascar." "King Julien, they must be..." "Oh, yes, what Maurice was about to say was..." "Not the feet!" "Ambush!" "Fall back, men, fall back!" " Kowalski!" " I'm coming, Private!" " Kowalski!" " Marlene!" "Which one do I save?" "Think, Kowalski, think." "No, don't think, man, act!" "Let's go!" "Rico!" "Private's part of the team." "Then again, Marlene has vital information." "Of course, Private does owe me five dollars..." " Kowalski!" " Kowalski!" "No!" "Curse you, brain!" "Kowalski, snap out of it." "We're under attack!" "I know." "I'm not gonna lie to you, boys." "This situation is critical." "Get a hold of yourself, soldier!" "Well done, Rico." "Saddle up and stay low, gents." "I'm on point." "I'm not one for sappy speeches, men, but the odds are that not all of us are gonna make it..." "The precise odds are one in..." "Skipper!" "It's up to us, Rico." "Just me and..." "And... me." "I can't see." "I can't think clearly." "What do I do?" "What do I do?" "What do I do?" "Turn off the old think-melon." "Use your instincts." "Right." "My gut says to get my friends back." "Time to listen to that gut." "Even though, technically, a gut cannot vocalize..." "I'm doing it again!" "Kowalski?" "Kowalski!" " Did I win?" " Sure, symbolically." "Hey, pal, a little help." "Turns out the hostiles are friendlies." "Chameleons." "We were crazy with them back in the Madagascar." "Aren't they the cutest little jellybeans?" "I just want to pinch it." " And will you look how they blend?" " Wicked brilliant." "Thank you." "I'll have Maurice paint you some wallet sizes." "They're saying that they're sorry about grabbing us up with their tongues and all that." "But it was the only way they could be inviting us all to the party." "Tongues tickle!" " You speak chameleon?" " I dabble." "And here you listen with your eyes." " So it was all for nothing?" " Not at all." "You learned to listen to your gut today." "But my gut said the chameleons were killer carnivores." "But you heard your gut." "Even if it was dead wrong!" " You stand tall, Kowalski!" " Yes!" "My gut rocks!" "It's... complicated." "Hit it!" "Cute and cuddly, boys!" "Ever get the feeling somebody's watching your every move?" " Our sincerest apologies, Skipper." " Not you, soldier." "Follow my lead." "Kowalski, recon." "What do you see?" "Not sure..." "The enemy must have some sort of cloaking device." "How about now?" " Yes." "We are under surveillance." " Evasive maneuvers!" "Still there." "Still watching." "lmpossible." "We used evasive maneuvers." "Yo, Alice." "On the jungle scene He is a..." "Yo, Alice!" "I'm working here!" "You done installing those webcams or what?" "Yes." "But I still think this whole lnternet thing is stupid." "Who wants to watch animals on the computer?" "I want to watch animals on the computer!" "Well, I want to watch me on the computer, you know." "What is a computer?" " I like computers!" " So you know?" "No." "But I don't have to know to like." "A computer is a machine the people use to avoid work." "Mainly by watching silly little videos." "You're saying those cameras are there so the whole world can watch us?" "Like hawks." "Except for the swooping down and devouring us part." "Hopefully!" "Don't you get it?" "They're trying to get inside our heads." "Stealing our secrets." "Wait, what?" "Stealing our secrets!" "No, they're not. lt's just for fun." "They've gotten to you." "There's no one we can trust, boys." "Rico!" "Tell me more about this people want to watch me thing." "They watch us online and then vote for their favorite animal." "Back at my old aquarium, I was the winner three years in a row." "Which is not very interesting to me because it is not about me." "See how that works?" "Maybe you didn't hear me." "Three time lnternet popularity contest winner." "Right here." "I can see me, but wider!" "I would like very much to have it." "Well, since I'm out of competition..." "Scandal, long story I could help you, if you want." "Silly otter, I do not need this thing called "help."" "OK, whatever. lf you change your mind, you know where to find me." "Yes, OK." "But I don't change my mind, I have people for that." "Here's the plan: we give them zip." "Don't move a muscle." "Skipper, I really need to..." "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Much better." "Thank you." "Maurice, hit it!" "Over here, silly camera." "Yes!" "Yes!" "I can feel my interweb popularity skyrocketing!" "The Egyptian!" "The Sleeping Bear!" "The Angry Sloth!" "Yes!" "No!" "What is the matter with you?" "Look at me." "Look at me!" "Look at The Angry Sloth!" "Hold formation." "Hold formation." "Just a few more years of this and we're in the clear." "I'm telling you, these webcams are not gonna catch on." "The animals don't do anything interesting." "They just stand around." " Oh, dear..." " Stand strong, Private." "Aye aye, Skipper." "Private..." "Why don't you come over and hang out with us tasty, tasty, tasty fish." "The tastiness!" "Rico!" "Talk some sense into him." " Much better, sir." " I knew you'd listen to reason." "Oh, Private..." "We're surrounded." "Hey look!" "It's that funny penguin!" "The one that slips!" "Hey, Slippy!" "Who's Slippy?" "Apparently, you are Slippy." "I don't want to be Slippy." "This is just sad!" "Where is the showmanship?" "Hello, Marlene." "What are you doing here?" " I live here." " Really?" "Who knew?" "I didn't." "Julien, you never visit." "You must really be stinking up the lnternet." "Yes." "I mean, no." "No, I could not be more popularist." "Everybody loves the king that is me." "Huh." "Well, I guess I should let you get back to it then." "Well, yes, I guess." "Probably so, I'm very..." "They hate me!" "They hate me!" "I have to have the pretty shiny trophy." "And that roly-poly penguin is hogging all the glory that should be the king's." "I need your help!" "Please, please, I'll say it one more time, please!" "OK, since you are pathetically begging..." " I don't know if I'd say pathetic." " I would." "OK, it's just a word." "Help me now?" "OK." "Here's what I see:" "lights, music, artsy hats, a performance that'll knock 'em dead!" "Yes." "And if they are dead they cannot vote for that ridiculous penguin." "We don't have much time." "Counter-spying scenario s'il vous plait." "Outstanding!" "Blast!" "The enemy saw it." "I need another plan." "Even better than the last one." "Blast!" "The enemy saw this one, too." "Well." "Our little lnternet star..." " Private, retreat!" "Double time!" " Oh, dear." "Skipper!" "I'm captured!" " Skipper!" " He's just a boy!" "Here you are, Slippy." "Your own little stage." "Slippy!" "Slippy!" "Slippy...!" "Slippy could get used to this." "Top side slide, men." "Minus Private." "Welcome to Cirque du So-Great!" "That really what we're going with?" "Yes, because it is awesome, just like me." "Now hoist your king." "I'm pretty sure this ain't in my job description." "Kowalski, camouflage." "Rico!" "Commence drilling, pronto." "This routine is gonna rock the house." "Yes!" "I am a star!" "This madness ends now!" "Hello, Skipper." "Care for a bite?" "We're busting you out." "Really?" "Today may not work for me, actually." "Between slipping and falling, I'm booked solid." "Just as I feared." "You've been brainwashed." "I've been brainwashed?" " Yes, you've been brainwashed." " Brainwashed." "You don't want your brain washed." "I don't want my brain washed." "lncoming!" "On my jungle scene He is the funk machine" "When they play that groove He has got to move" "Good to have you back, young Private." "Although I do quite miss the Slippy lifestyle." "Still a little brainwashed, eh?" "Rico!" "Much better, sir!" "I am not believing that the people voted this most popularist." "C'mon dance to the rhythm now" "Gonna dance to the rhythm now" "Mission accomplished, boys." "A DVD of our show, The Penguins of Madagascar." "And I was the best." "I'm a really big star!" "To the zoo, boys." "Waddle like the wind." "SUBTITLES BY THEDAO"