"Male announcer:" "And now, nickelodeon and dreamworks'" "Monsters vs. Aliens." " ¶ mva ¶" "¶ mva ¶" " ¶ monsters vs. Aliens ¶" "¶ it's us vs. Them" "¶ foe vs. Friend" "¶ brain vs. B.O.B." " ¶ it's a super-freaky job" " Oh, yeah, it's freaky." " ¶ mva ¶" " ¶ monsters vs. Aliens ¶" " [cackles] - ¶ monsters vs. Aliens ¶" "¶ monsters vs. Aliens ¶" "¶ mva ¶" "[dramatic music]" "¶ [eerie music] [beeping, sizzling]" " [maniacal laugh]" "Behold!" "My crowning achievement!" " Two thoughts:" "One, I love it." "Two, where is it?" " Down here." " Oh, your new phone?" "Is something wrong with it, dr." "C?" "Because I think that's gonna void the warranty." " Yes, something's wrong!" "They advertize it as a smartphone," "Yet it is incapable of independent thought." "So I did some tinkering and now... [shimmering tone]" "This smartphone is a sentient phone!" "[electrical sizzling, beeping] [laughs]" "It's alive!" "[all gasp]" " Booting up." "Stock market's down 15.4 points." "It's your turn on "wordzy."" "[buzzes] and you've got three new texts." " Why, thank you, smarty." " Doc, are you saying your phone is alive?" "Like alive-alive?" " Yep, and I'm jacked into the internet 24/7." "I know it all." "Literally." " Oh, yeah?" "Then what's the atomic weight of rubidium?" " 85.4678." "[chuckles] nailed it." " I have no idea if that's right." "I just wanted to sound smart." "Is rubidium even a thing?" " Ooh!" "Let me try." "If you're so smart, then what color am I?" " Blue." " [burbles]" "Guys, smarty knows everything." " Of course!" "Daddy made me fully functional." " Daddy?" " [slurps, spits, hiccups] [squeaks]" " I'll just put my bed next to yours." "That way you can read me bedtime stories every night." "Okay, dad?" " Fine, smarty." "[clears throat] fine." "[beep]" "Susan, link." "This is, not to put too fine a point on it," "Weird." " Maybe not." "I mean, you created smarty." "You gave him life." "So you kind of are his father." " True." " And, unlike some of your other creations," "This one isn't trying to mangle, eat, or disintegrate anybody." " Which I find refreshing." " Refreshing?" " Look, he just wants to be your son." "I say give it a try." " You make good points." "Perhaps I will try." " What are we gonna do now, dad?" " A better question, smarty," "Is what aren't we going to do?" "[pop music] [beeping]" "¶ [techno dance music plays]" "¶" " We could launch a modest-sized rocket" "Packed with thousands of mirrors." " 26,571 at a diameter of 21 inches." " With precise interval delivery timing," "We could, indeed, put a smiley face on the moon." " Then whenever we looked up at the night sky," "We'd think of each other." " I like seeing doc like this, all fatherly." "It's a new side to him." " Uh-huh." "Though I'm still waiting on" "The mangling-eating- disintegrating stuff." "'cause you know that's coming." "[slurping]" " The bug has started a family, eh?" "[sing-songy] I smell opportunity." "[chuckles]" " [scatting upbeat melody]" " Yo, little earth phone." "I'm coolverton." " Coolverton?" " Yes, that's my name, yo." "Coolverton." "And I'm very rad and..." "Slamming." "[hip-hop music plays on boom box]" " Okay, coolverton." "Gotta go." " Say!" "Have you tried the latest extreme apps?" "They are totally a bag of chips." " Ooh!" "Apps?" " Carry the two and" "Ah, smarty, there you are!" "What's the square root of 37?" " 6.0827625303." "[belches]" " Thank you." "Oh, and 42 cubed?" " [belches] 74,088." " Very good." "One more." "What's..." " [belches]" " Gotten into you, lad?" " A burp app, dadster." "[belches]" "Look, I can do the alphabet." "[belching] a, b, c" " Child, where did you get such a grotesque app?" " A friend showed it to me." " Well, delete it now." "It's sure to corrupt your operating system." " But I-- - delete it." " I was--I-- - delete it." "Are your audio sensors not working?" "De-lete!" "Smarty:" "But it's not fair!" " "not fair." classic." "I used that one on my dad all the time." "Dr. Cockroach:" "Life's not fair." "You live under my roof, you live under my rules." " Oh!" "I remember my folks saying that" "When I was just a tadpole." "Smarty:" "More like I live under your thumb." "Dr. Cockroach:" "Don't get smart with me, young man!" " Aw, my mom would have said the same thing." "If she hadn't been, you know, a tomato." "Smarty:" "Can't help it, dad." "I know everything, remember?" "Oh, and one more thing." "[belches]" " I-- did you hear any of that?" " Unh-uh." " Nope." " Every last word." " [scoffing] are your audio sensors working?" " What's up, smarty?" "Why you all..." "Bugging?" "Um, yo?" " [sighs] my dad said I can't keep" "The burp app you gave me." " Sounds like he's up in your grill and dissing yo." "You." "Yo." "Which is ridonkulous," "Because I bet you have mad "skills-zzz."" "I bet you could even hack into area 50-something's mainframe." " Well, yeah!" "If I wanted to." " Then you could drop in this awesome-sauce app I created." "It's called "phones totally rule, omg!"" " Yeah, maybe I will." " Do it, I say!" "Then your father will see you are slamming and rad." "[hip-hop music plays on boom box] [grunting rhythmically]" "Uh, what-what?" "[tense music]" "¶" " Mornin', sam." "[keys clacking, computer beeps]" " [chuckles]" "Beyond easy." "[computer trills]" " So when I say, "keep my seat warm,"" "That's just an expression!" " General, again," "I want to apologize" "For my unfortunate misinterpretation." " Tell it to my slacks, sqweep!" " Hello, everybody!" " Smarty?" " Hey, dad!" " How'd that get on my screen?" "This is a secure connection!" " Oh, I'm not just on this screen." "[echoing] I'm on every screen on the base!" " Smarty, you log out, right this instant." " Here's a notification, dad." "You're not the boss of me." "I've plugged into the computer core" "And completely taken control of the entire base!" "Everything on this base answers to me!" "It's my house now, dad." "My rules." "[belches] [beeping]" " Ow!" " [screams] - [screams] [alarm blaring] - emergency lock-down." " [screams] [all screaming]" " Uh-oh." " Lock-down?" "Doctor, get your phone in line," "Or I'm gonna take it offline!" " Smarty, you stop this at once" "Or I will put you in airplane mode for a week." " Dad, I'm not doing it." "Not on purpose." "Something's making me." " Smarty's been infected with a malware program called" ""phones totally rule, omg!"" " A virus?" "Can we remove it?" "[beeping]" " Negative." "It blocks any attempts to disable it." " [laughs] perfect." "I mean, perfectly horrible situation." "Whatever shall we do?" " Dad, help me!" "I'm scared." " Fear not, my boy!" "I'm on my way." "Ooh!" "Usually these slide open automatically." "There are other ways to the computer core." "You know how they say, "if you see 1 cockroach" "There are 1,000 more in the walls"?" " Tell me that's not even slightly true." " No, it's very true." "Cockroaches love traveling by walls." "I just need to find access." "[tense music]" "¶" "Hey!" "[screams, grunts]" " Dad!" " Son!" "Now, I'm just going to unplug you." " What?" "If you do that," "The virus will make the base self-destruct." " Seriously, we need to rethink" "This whole "base self-destruct" thing." "We come up against it, like, every other day." " Then we have no choice" "But to remove the virus from smarty." " There's only one way to do that, dad." "Memory wipe." " You can't!" " What a deliciously horrible predicament!" "Sacrifice the base or erase his son." "Whatever will he do?" "[snickers]" " Doc, there must be some other way." " I'm afraid there isn't." "[button beeps] - bye, dad." "[phone powers down] [dramatic music]" "¶ [alarm stops] [machinery powering on] [electrical whizzing]" " [grunts]" " [grunts] [all screaming]" " Poor little guy." " So, who's up for ice cream?" " How can you be so heartless?" "You just erased your son!" " Yeah, doc, that's way cold-blooded," "Even for a half-insect." " What kind of monster do you take me for?" "Smarty automatically backs up every five minutes." "Rise and shine, smarty." "[phone rings]" " [yawns]" "Hey, dad!" "What's up?" "[all slurping]" " Mmm!" "[chomps]" " Good news, monsters!" "The top brass was very impressed" "With the virus infiltration." " Wait." "They thought that was a good thing?" " Proved our system is vulnerable." "That's why they'd like smarty to be" "Part of their cyber-security task force." " Really?" "Awesome!" " I'm proud of you, son." "Be sure to visit." " [scoffs, chitters]" " [chuckles] I will, dad." "And I'll text." "A lot." "Like, all the time." " Splendid." "[cheerful music]" "¶" "[dramatic music]" "¶" " Greetings and welcome to another informative edition" "Of earth studies!" "For today's entry:" "Behold, a local classic." "The baking soda volcano." "Built to scale." " No." " Please?" " No." " Please?" " No!" " Please, please, please?" " No!" " Cherry on top, please?" " For the last time, coverton," "You cannot attend the top-secret aero-tank test." " But, general, it is a flying tank." "A tank..." "That flies!" "I simply must attend for, um, fiercely peaceful reasons." " And just what" "Does a galactic peace ambassador want" "With a 550-ton, voice-controlled," "Flying mega-weapon of hot doom?" " [drooling] flying doom." " That is some grade "a" nightmare fuel, son." "[beeps]" " And now for the reactive ingredient." "[giggles] science is fun." "[crate crashes]" " Let's get outta here!" " You cannot attend the aero-tank" "What is that?" "Oh, wait!" " Protect me!" " [screams]" " [muffled, garbled speaking] - hmm." "I expected a messier reaction." " Sqweep!" "Get back here right this-- [muted, garbled speaking]" "In all my days..." "[hiccup, bubbling]" "I have never..." "[hiccup, bubbling]" "Such blatant..." "[hiccup, bubbling]" "Disregard for-- [bubbling, choking] [garbled] this is serious!" "Pay attention!" " General, I do not know why you are so upset." "The foam is harmless." " Not to my music pod." " This ain't about damage!" "Explosions and sudden avalanches" "Are a routine part of base living." "But what you did was worse." "You made a mess!" "And left without cleaning it up." "[all gasp]" " Oh, no!" " Look at this mess." " No, you didn't." " I had to ask henry to do it." "Took him half the live-long day!" " Oh, this is henry's everest." " General, earth studies reports are extremely time-sensitive." "I did not have time to stop and clean." " That may be," "But on this base, we clean up our messes." "No exceptions!" "Little alien," "You've earned yourself a time-out!" " A time what?" " Whoo-hoo!" "[squishing] oh!" "Did someone say "time-out"?" " I do not understand." "How can one be outside of time?" " Oh!" "Time-outs are great!" "You go to this room." "No tv." "No toys." "No video games." "Just a cot and a funky-smelling toilet." "It's like a dream vacation." "General, requesting permission to time-out!" " B.O.B., you haven't done anything wrong y-  [laughing hysterically]" " Self-destruct activated." "[alarm blares]" "Reactor overload." "Launching all missiles." "[all screaming]" " Welcome to the official time-out chamber." "You are not to leave this chamber" "Until your time-out is complete." "Understood?" "Now you two think about what you've done." "[timer ticking]" " This does not feel so vacation-ish." "[timer ticking] [fly buzzing]" " "hello, would you like to discuss" "Advanced quantum particle physics?"" "[assumes southern accent] "oh, I would." "But hands cannot talk."" "[timer ticking]" " [chomping, slobbering]" "And that is how you eat a sloppy joe, men!" "[belches]" "Excuse me." "Yes?" "Whoa, mama yeti!" " I have completed my time-out." " What happened to you?" "It's only been five minutes!" " For a brain that thinks in 15 dimensions," "Five minutes of boredom can feel like an eternity." " Yeah, what's up with the whiskers?" " Oh, this is not a beard." "It is merely bed stuffing I glued to my face." "I do not recall why." "Things got a little weird after minute four." " General, sir." "The aero-tank is ready for its test flight." " Whoo-doggie!" "Let's do this." " Right behind you, general." " Not for you." " [groaning]" " Time for my test drive in the skies!" "Sqweep, why are you tank-blockin' me?" " General, you made a mess and left" "Without required cleanup." " Easy, son." "Ol' henry's just mopping your face." " That all?" "Tiny alien, I've got" "A 550-ton flying boom-maker waiting for me." "I can't stop for this!" " But you put me in time-out" "For not following cleanup protocol." " Oh, that's different." "This is an exception!" "On this base, we clean up our messes." "No exceptions!" "That thing always recording?" " It sees everything." " Well, well, well." "Isn't this quite the turning of tables?" "A time-out for the time-outer." " [laughs]" "A kid giving a grown-up a time-out?" "[laughs]" "That's the funniest thing I've ever heard." "[laughs hysterically] - [grunts]" "General!" "You said!" " It seems the general is intent on setting a bad example." " Well, now, I am not." "Because, um..." "No exceptions!" "No exceptions!" "No exceptions!" " Oh, don't mind me." "Just found my new text-alert tone." " You said, general." " [growls] halt the aero-tank test!" "I've got to set a..." "Good example." " Now a little creative editing," "And then it's aero-tank..." "[drools] [screams]" " Now, please, think about what you've done, general." "[timer ticking]" " Well, time to kill some time." ""hello, you wanna talk about flying tanks?"" "[falsetto] "why, yes, I would."" "What?" " It's me!" "[chuckles]" "So I heard you were in time-out, and I thought," ""hey, why not play time-out with the big guy too?" "He's always fun!"" " I am not!" " Oh, let's play funny faces." "My turn." "[gargles]" " B.O.B., I'm not here for games!" "I'm just setting the right example for sqweep!" "I've even put my tank test on hold," "Just to show I respect the rules!" "[feedback over p.A.] - attention." "Aero-tank test flight is now commencing." " Wh-what?" " Required personnel report to airfield" "For immediate launch." " Who authorized that?" "Start--test flight-- and--let--coverton--attend." " Huzzah!" "[chortles]" " [grunting] - whoa!" "Good face!" "Looks like you just pooped your pants." "Did you?" " First of all, that's disgusting." "Second, I gotta get over there!" "[screams] [groans] - shame on you, general." "You have not finished your time-out." " I don't have time for this anymore!" "There's a tank taking off!" " You can go in five minutes." " Tiny alien," "I'm not playing around with you." " Ten minutes." " Don't you touch that timer!" " Oh, 15 minutes." " I'm warning you!" " 20 minutes." " Whoa, okay, calm down." "I'm good, I'm good." "[screams shakily]" " Please do not try to escape." "It will only add to your punishment." " B.O.B., you gotta get me out of here," "Before someone gets their hands on my aero-tank!" " Oh, you wanna play pretend prison breakout?" "That's my favorite time-out game." "[clears throat]" "Keep your head down, your chin up, kid." "I'm gonna bust youse out of this here hoosegow." "Mwah!" "[toilet flushes]" " [assumes a southern accent] excuse me," "Mister guard person." "My name is granny monger." "I have come to bring my bubala a yummy baked treat." "[normal voice] plan "b."" " [screams] [button beeps]" " Thanks, b.O.B. I owe you one." "[shudders] nightmare fuel." "[siren wails]" " Halt!" " Oh, flying doom." "[drooling]" " Awaiting primary target." " [slurps] ooh!" "Ah, yes." "[stammers] where shall I doom first?" "So many choices, you know." "[chuckles]" " Banana--sock warmers" " Error." "Unrecognized." " Ukulele--hot dog!" " Hush, you!" " Kangaroo pouch?" "Stapler--loofah" " You served your purpose." " Ammo reload!" "Alien--base attack!" " Command recognized." "Using alien as ammunition to attack base." " What?" "No!" "What is this?" "Obey my will, you infernal" " Firing." "[siren wailing]" " Let's get outta here!" " [screams] [both groaning]" " Great bald eagle!" " [screams] [puffs]" " Continuing mission objective." " Aero-tank, stop blowing up my base" "With coverton's face!" " Error." "Continuing attack." " [screams]" " Why will it not stop?" " Electronics must be locked." "This is why we test things!" "Well, looks like papa monger's gonna have to do this" "The fun way." "Yee-haw!" " Electronics?" "[mechanical hum]" " [screams] [screams]" "[screaming gibberish] [mechanical whirring, rumbling] [both screaming] [both groaning]" " Protect me!" "[both grunting]" "Both:" "Oh, floognarg." " Obstruction detected." "Firing to free ammunition." " Say what, now?" " Mr. Aero-tank, you made a big mess." "Time-out." "[explosion] [electronic fizzling] [motor sputtering out] [both gagging]" " Fast thinking, soldier!" "You just saved our sweet patooties!" " But I must clean up," "Or I will have to go in time-out again." " Little alien, sometimes there are exceptions." "Besides, I think coverton's earned this one." " Oh, best time-out buddy ever!" " What?" " And you can set the timer, b.O.B." " [giggles] - no!" "Anything but him!"