"gossip girl here-- your one and only source into the scandalous lives of manhattan's elite." "(kati) you'll never believe what's on "gossip girl."" "(isabel) someone saw serena getting off a train at grand central i thought everything was good between us." "it was, before i found out you had sex with my boyfriend." "i didn't come back for you." "look, blair's my best friend, and you're her boyfriend, and she loves you." "you'd really go out with some guy you don't know?" "well, he can't be worse than the guys i do know." "if you want to be a part of this world, jenny, you need to decide if all this is worth it." "(jenny) get off. stop." "hey!" "that is my little sister!" "bendel's is interested in carrying my line." "'cause more people should be like you, mother." "eleanor waldorf is gearing up to take her company public, and i've been courting her for months to let me handle the deal." "then you should get it." "i will get it, if you just help me out a little bit." "spotted--s. and lonely boy macking in the meat packing." "opposites do attract, but for how long?" "and who am i?" "that's a secret i'll never tell." "you know you love me." "x.o.x.o., gossip girl." "long ago, when european royals grew bored with palace balls, they took a page from the peons and added some pageantry." "couture and canapés are just another saturday night until you add a mask, but preparing for a ball is an event in itself, which is why queens invented handmaidens." "so the dresses should be delivered, and i'll take the small stuff with me. which one's yours?" "oh, no. i'm just helping blair, but i mean, you know, we'll see." "well, here's hoping." "we'll put it on blair's tab. oh, no, no, no." "the girls at that party are my best customers." "why not show off my latest wares?" "just return it after the ball." "so kati mentioned something about a custom-made corset, and i hear there are wigs involved?" "it's a masquerade. you have to conceal your identity, but i do have something special planned for nate tonight." "it's a game. it's a scavenger hunt." "nate starts the night with a clue, which leads him to a lady-in-waiting, who gives him a clue to the next lady  wait. hold on. you have ladies now?" "if he finds me before midnight when the masks come off, he can claim his prize. and what's that?" "oh. yeah, right. sorry." "i just figured that after everything that's happened, or hasn't happened, i should find some way to make it special." "well, that's really romantic, blair." "really." "look, um, if you don't want me to come tonight, i totally understand. i could just-- what?" "no, i want you to come." "in fact, i was hoping you would be one of my ladies." "would you give nate the last clue?" "are you sure you want me to?" "tonight is all about starting over." "i trust you... and him." "well, then i will be honored to serve you, my queen." "(both laugh) well, besides, you're bringing dan, right?" "a ball?" "haven't you heard?" "your sister's cinderella." "and let me guess. your wicked stepsister is blair waldorf." "blair may have asked me to do a few things, but i'm happy to help. and if she happens to help you out with an invite and outfit?" "it'll all be worth it. everyone in disguise in this old ballroom-- it's gonna be amazing. you know, i'm actually surprised serena didn't mention it." "why?" "we've only been out twice." "it's not like all of a sudden, we have to do everything together." "all right, well i gotta go deliver this stuff." "let me know if you need me to pick you up a tux." "what?" "it's a masked ball." "i'm sure she thinks i'd never go to something that pretentious, which shows she knows me well." "i know him. a masked ball?" "dan would never want to go to something that pretentious, where he has to wear a mask and a tux?" "he likes you. he would wear a tux and a mask and one of my mother's dresses if it meant that he could go out with you. come on." "what, are you worried that he already has a date?" "i mean, he is dan humphrey. (chuckles) shut up. i don't know." "i guess a masked ball is better than a regular party because then all those kids from school that he hates-- he won't even recognize them." "all right. invite him. i insist." "i'm not saying i wouldn't go." "if serena asked me, i wouldn't deprive her of my company." "no, that would be too cruel." "but she hasn't asked me, so... if you want to go with her, just make it happen." "put yourself out there. this thing happens in a matter of hours." "the window for bold gestures is officially closed." "(cell phone rings) is that her?" "(ring) uh, no, it's vanessa." "vanessa?" "(ring) that's been a while." "you gonna answer that?" "of course. why wouldn't i?" "hello?" "vanessa." "hi. yeah, it's me." "so what's up?" "what's up?" "how's vermont?" "do you still have my copy of "the crying of lot 49"?" "um, i don't know." "well, could you check?" "okay. i haven't talked to you in over a year, and you called to ask me about an old book?" "you know, it could be anywhere." "try over by the window. (giggles) vanessa. surprise!" "what?" "oh, my god." "how are you?" "so good to see you. i can't believe you're here." "what--what are you doing here?" "my parents said i could live with my sister and finish high school in the city. so--so that means you're-- i'm back for good." "wow. wow." "that is... awesome, i hope?" "yeah, t-totally. yes, of course." "it's just... unexpected." "unexpectedly awesome." "(cell phone ringing) go ahead. answer that. i'm starving, and i smell waffles." "(vanessa) rufus. (rufus) vanessa." "hi. serena, hey." "hey. hi." "(blair) go ahead. do it." "uh, hey, i was just wondering, are you, uh, are you, uh, doing anything tonight?" "tonight?" "no. no, nothing. why?" "good, because there's this thing, and you're probably gonna think it's stupid, but... try me." "even cold, these are so good." "i-i've missed rufus' cooking. i have." "(vanessa) rufus, do you have whipped cream?" "who's that?" "uh, it's... it's my sister, but you--you were saying something." "hi, blair. what do you want me to do with this stuff?" "oh, just leave them over there." "that's fine. i left you another list." "(chuckles nervously) is anyone there?" "hello?" "i'm sorry. uh... what?" "uh, you--you were asking me something." "no, uh... no, never mind." "thank you. have a good day. okay." "bye. (shuts phone)" "(shuts phone) so what are we doing tonight?" "i think i need a date." "damn it, anne, i told you no starch." "howard, we've been going to the same cleaners for 19 years." "your shirts are exactly how they always are." "we both know this isn't about laundry. i'm sorry, but i need everything to be perfect at eleanor's party tonight." "i can't screw up. eleanor knows you're the best person to take her company public. she's going to pick you." "just show up and be yourself." "look, i'm gonna call you from the office." "i gotta look over the proposal again." "(door shuts) hey, mom." "oh, nate." "is everything okay with dad?" "just work stuff. nothing for you to worry about." "sure." "god!" "i love new york." "there was only one theater in woodbury, and all it ever played were family movies." ""the pacifier" played for, like, a year." "and they said vin diesel couldn't do comedy. (laughs) i can't pick. overwhelmed by choice." "whatever you want." "yeah, sure, whatever. you do wanna do something, right?" "i mean, you don't have plans." "big night out with overprivileged, under-parented trust fund brats from your fancy school?" "yeah, the limo's actually waiting back at the loft." "good. we can egg it. maybe slash the tires?" "(chuckles) so is it weird, having me back?" "no. why, uh, why-- why would it be weird?" "because we said some things the night that i left-- things that you immediately asked me to take back." "because i was leaving, but... now i'm here." "yeah, and it's been over a year, you know?" "a lot has happened, actually." "and i look forward to hearing about it tonight." "late show. angelika?" "whatever's playing?" "unless it's "the pacifier." unless it's "the pacifier." (laughs) all right. i'll get tickets." "glad to be home, humphrey." "glad to have you, abrams." "(chuck) so what exactly are you looking for?" "evidence." "of what?" "the captain's dislike of starchy shirts?" "i totally sympathize. the collars chafe." "did you, uh, ask him about your missing college money?" "yeah, he said he was moving accounts around." "it was all back the next day." "so why worry?" "mysterious financial transactions, warring parents. welcome to the upper east side." ""chi chi, get the llello." nathaniel, i'm shocked." "i thought you were strictly an herbal man." "this isn't mine." "who does this dan humphrey think he is?" "serena is putting up atrong front, but i can see how hurt she is." "we have to help her heal her heart. but it's pretty late notice." "most of the good ones are already taken." "no more excuses. serena must have the hottest date ever." "if he's got plans, he'll change them." "if he's got a girlfriend, he'll dump her, and if he's out of town, he'll charter a g5 and fly home." "make it happen." "(man) do you like it?" "that's outstanding. (gasps)" "is it a bong, mother?" "please. i didn't take you for a stoner." "it's a... a hookah... mm-hmm." "and it is adorable. it's perfect for my moroccan-themed party." "why do you have to celebrate your bendel's deal by turning our penthouse into an opium den?" "why not?" "(laughs) hey, it's blair." "i'm sorry i can't come to the phone right now, but i'm getting ready for the masked ball." "see you tonight, if you recognize me, which you won't. (beep) hey, blair. it's me. i, um... i just-- i really need to talk to you." "it's, uh, there's this thing with my dad, and, um... you know, i just-- i really need to talk to you." "so can you call me back when you can?" "thanks." "(hangs up)" "(sighs) well, that's all of it. thank you so much." "i don't know what i would've done without you that's okay. yeah, it was fun." "i'm glad. it's all part of your education." "and it looks like you're learning. it's a nice bracelet." "vintage, right?" "the diamonds look real." "'cause they sort of are." "uh, the man at the store lent it to me." "why would he do that?" "oh!" "oh, sweetie, you didn't think you were gonna be able to come tonight, right?" "i thought maybe, yeah." "jenny, freshmen don't get to go to the masked ball." "it's just tradition. no, i know. it's just that there were five dresses." "oh, it-- you always need backup." "i mean, what--what if i spilled something or a zipper broke?" "yeah, of course. i'll--i'll remember that." "have fun tonight." "i will, and don't worry, your time will come. i promise." "now if you'll excuse me, i have to get ready." "do you think that eleanor waldorf will find this... night in tangiers enough?" "maybe if you brought a goat." "you know, eleanor always goes all-out." "speaking of going all-out... yeah, i know. tell me about it. i don't think the waldorf women ever met a theme they didn't just love." "you going with dan?" "um, no, dan has plans, actually. doing what?" "the question is "with whom?"" "oh, i didn't realize." "well, frankly, i am relieved." "you know, at your age, you should be playing the field." "what about at your age?" "you got a hot date tonight?" "what?" "no, please. who would i be dating?" "(i.m. alert dings) you know what?" "i'm gonna go try this on and see if i can find a goat." "(serena) well, he's no dan, but i guess he'll do." "hey, jen, you're not gonna believe this, but, uh, vanessa is back in town." "so we're going to a movie tonight, and i don't know if you're going to that ball or not, but i was wondering if you wanted to come with." "so, uh, we're getting tickets online." "call me back." "why is it that friends of serena van der woodsen haveo search for her suitor?" "have fables fallen so out of fashion that the princesses have to do everything themselves?" "call us old-school, but sometimes the fairy-tale ending requires the knight to get off his ass and saddle up his steed." "(beep)" "(typing on keyboard)" "(dan) maybe it's never too late for a bold gesture." "nate, hey." "what are you doing here?" "i thought you were, um, shouldn't you be getting ready?" "i'm sorry to bother you. it's, um, do you have a minute?" "yeah, of course." "come in." "thanks." "yeah." "maybe it's old. you know, left over from the '90s or something, from some night at limelight or the tunnel?" "our parents did way worse stuff than we do." "it's not old, and it makes total sense." "i think he's having some money problems." "well, have you asked him about it?" "yeah." "i just wish, you know, i wish he'd be honest with me." "it's like he and my mom-- they made some secret pact to act like robots." "yeah, well, i don't think that pact is so secret." "i think all of our parents signed it." "but i'm not a little kid anymore." "he doesn't have to shut me out." "look, if what you think is right, he's probably really scared." "maybe you have to tell him how you feel more than once for him to really hear you, you know?" "hey, don't give up, okay?" "you should probably go." "you know, i've gotta get ready and stuff." "yeah, me, too. um... look, thanks for just listening." "that's fine. yeah, don't worry about it." "chuck just wanted a bump, and blair's phone was turned off, so it, um, really means a lot." "yeah, anytime, nate. i'll see you tonight, okay?" "all right. i'll see ya. bye." "hey, anybody home?" "hey, you and dan going out?" "just to the movies. what about you?" "a humphrey man in a sports coat?" "i'd normally ask if you had a date, but-- but my wife left me, hmm?" "yeah. what's up with alison?" "dan says she's still upstate." "i thought that was just for the summer. so did her husband." "okay, we'll circle back to that." "one issue at a time. like where are my keys?" "what do you need keys for?" "just use dan's window." "where is dan, by the way?" "uh, he should be back in a minute. hmm." "so, uh, dan seems happy to see you." "why wouldn't he be?" "well, um, if you don't mind me saying so, when you left here, you kind of broke his heart." "i'm back, aren't i?" "i hated being away from the city.." "away from dan." "did you tell dan this?" "no, not yet, but i'm planning on it tonight-- before or after the movie. i'm not sure yet." "you know, i gotta pick my moment." "it's kind of a big deal." "hmm." "oh, thanks." "you know, there's, uh, a lot that's changed since you were here." "so dan says." "but you guys have always been close." "you'll figure it out." "wish me luck?" "me, too." "where are you going anyway?" "uh, just some party." "with a friend?" "(cell phone rings) i wouldn't exactly call her that. (ring) see ya." "(ring)" "(beep) hello?" "hey. where are you?" "at your house." "oh. oh, you're early." "yeah, i just couldn't wait." "oh, um, i tried to get you before you left." "i-i feel terrible." "'cause i'm early?" "no, because, um, i... i totally spaced." "i have this, uh, american history paper due monday." "so you know, i'll be writing all night." "i'll make it up to you, though. i promise." "pierogis at veselka?" "i'll call you tomorrow." "(shuts phone)" "(beep)" "jenny, hey." "hey." "jenny, what's wrong?" "and how is this a favor to me again?" "rufus, look around. when was the last time you had access to the top people in music and art?" "introduce yourself. revitalize your flagging career." "put that sad little gallery on the cultural radar." "since when were you the patron saint of former rock stars?" "since when were you a star?" "no, look, leave if you want to." "really. alison would have a fit if she knew you were accompanying me to this party, even if it was for your benefit." "actually, i don't care what alison thinks right now." "good. then let me introduce you to our hostess." "eleanor." "it is divine. squint, and it's marrakech." "(laughs) lily." "i had no idea you were bringing a date." "how delightful. oh, this is rufus humphrey." "oh, it's not a date. oh, pleasure." "it's not a date. mm-hmm." "look. appetizers. is that couscous?" "(eleanor) yes, please." "(bart) hey. (eleanor) bart!" "hi." "and friend." "hi." "oh. mm. something catch your eye?" "(whispers) oh, i like her outfit. lily." "bart." "hello." "hi." "i'd like you to meet carissa. yeah, hi. carissa." "hi." "hi. rufus. hi, rufus." "(rufus) yeah, hi. well, it's so good to see you." "great to see you. enjoy." "you, too. okay." "mm." "you and bart bass?" "suddenly it all makes sense." "you brought me here to make him jealous. oh, don't be ridiculous." "i mean, it's flattering, i guess, but couldn't you have done a little better?" "oh, not on such short notice." "(laughs) eleanor, oh!" "as-salaamu alaikum." "oh!" "how are you?" "this is fantastic." "this is beautiful. god bless you." "so this blair girl used you as her slave?" "no, i was her handmaiden." ""handmaiden" is jane austen for "slave."" "she never actually said i would get to go to the ball, even if i did all those errands." "unh-unh. don't make excuses for her." "you did all that stuff. you deserve to go." "i thought you said that masked balls are "totally pretentious."" "one woman's opinion." "but if you wanna go, no blair should keep you away." "it's not just blair. i mean, i don't have a gown." "my friend worksin the costume department at b.a.m." "we can borrow one. next?" "i don't have an invitation." "every ballroom has a back door. what else?" "if blair saw me, she'd be furious." "then it's a good thing you'll be wearing a mask." "(yeah yeah yeahs' "kiss me" playing) on the upper east side, appearances are often deceiving. from friends to hair color, there's always more than meets the eye." "is uptown this way or that way?" "it's, uh, that way, and these things whizzing by here--they're cars." "you mighwant to avoid them. you know what?" "you'll see better without this, too. whoa. that is better." "hey, you got a name?" "jack altman." "hi. jack altman. i just stepped out for some air." "altman?" "okay." "come on. (vanessa) thank you." "wait. let me see." "okay, look, i know you're completely morally opposed to society events and stuff, but-- we'll deprogram you later. this is ugly." "just go." "all right. thanks." "thank you so much. anytime." "(nekta's "guess who" playing)" "* i'm a good girl, i'm humorous and smart *" "* i read books and speak french and latin, too * * and i'm a good girl, i'm humorous and smart *" "* i read books and speak french and latin, too * * you heard right * * mgarita tastes sweeter * * than gin on ice * * i'm your best friend * * i'm glad you've known before *" "(gossip girl) what was it we said about appearances?" "yes, they can be deceiving." "but most of the time, what you see is what you get." "hey." "have you seen that girl i was with?" "when i grabbed her bag, i got her house keys, too." "(man) * we got to keep it movin' *" "what is nate doing?" "he's supposed to go find kati and is." "it's getting late, and i'm losing heat. well, you look ravishing." "if i were your man, i wouldn't need clues to find you." "or to ravish me, i'm sure. who is that?" "(blair) probably some bitch from chapin." "hot bitch from chapin." "forget her. go get nate. point him in the right direction." "first things first." "well, hello, angel." "you must be my lucky night." "and with taste to boot." "apparently not." "i'm talking to you." "beautiful and mean?" "i've got chills." "care to dance with a poor devil?" "why don't we just skip all that and, uh, go somewhere quiet to talk?" "i'll get the champagne." "find me in five." "taking a company public is an enormous responsibility." "there's nothing more valuable than making a good first impression." "and you taught me that, eleanor." "captain, you know that i adore you, but you've never done fashion before." "i have been talking to calvin's people, and i have to say, the presentation is very impressive." "enough business talk, howard. you're boring her." "mm. eleanor, i've been thinking." "when nate and blair get engaged, she should have my great-grandmother's ring," "the one that cornelius vanderbilt gave her?" "huh." "(gasps)" "you still spying on him?" "i'm not spying. i'm just... keeping track of his whereabouts." "well, so long as you're watching, he's winning." "if you really want to make a man jealous, there's only one thing to do." "rufus, i invited you here for many reasons, but knowledge of romance is not..." "(chuckles) that was, um... unexpected." "give him 20 minutes." "i need a drink. i need a drink." "so every time we see their yacht now, we just pull out our air horns and let 'em rip." "(laughs) wow. i tell you, it is almost enough to make you never want to summer in newport again." "wow, that sounds, uh, awful." "it is. it's pretty bad." "yeah, yeah, um, you know what?" "if you'll excuse me, i, uh, i think i'm gonna go and-- change partners?" "hey." "dan, what are you doing here?" "i'm saving you." "i don't need to be saved. really?" "'cause, uh, i could see your eyes rolling to the back of your head from across the room. dan." "hey. blair sent us over." "she said it's getting late, and you're taking too long." ""your lady-in-waiting is closer than you think, her headdress is feathers of black and pink."" "it's her. it's me." "what?" "i'm sorry." "just find serena." "she'll lead you to blair." "serena. right." "boo." "let's play a game. i'd say strip poker, but i don't have my cards." "how about, uh, hide-and-seek?" "you hide. i'll seek." "and how will you find me?" "i don't have any bread crumbs." "well, you can leave me a trail... with your clothes." "i have truly died and gone to heaven." "so how you doing?" "serena, wait." "what are you really doing here, dan?" "what am i doing here?" "i ran across the city." "i rented a tuxedo. i stole this mask from some drunken kid, only to look like robin." "i conned my way in here, all to see you. i care." "well, you didn't seem to care this morning, when you were with another girl and lied to me." "what?" "whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." "i-i didn't--well... i did." "yeah. i did, but i can explain." "go ahead. give it your best shot." "i was with my friend vanessa." "we're very close, and she moved away to vermont last year, and now she's back." "okay, so why'd you lie and say it was jenny?" "because i'm an idiot." "i d--i don't know why. i... look, vanessa and i... our relationship is a little complicated, or it was, before i met you." "and honestly, i didn't want anything to get in the way of you inviting me to this... stupid party." "well, i was gonna invite you." "really?" "so not into, uh, pompous ass the fourth?" "(scoffs) you're saying you're not into old friend vanessa?" "that is exactly what i'm saying." "(gossip girl) oh, yes, the other part we love about a masquerade?" "when the mask finally comes off and the truth is revealed to all." "will you excuse me?" "i just saw the last person i ever expected to see." "yeah. how can i say no to that?" "i'm sorry." "vanessa. vanessa. hey." "this is a surprise." "funny. i could say the same thing." "what--what are you doing here?" "i'm writing an american history paper." "wait. that was supposed to be you." "when did we start lying to each other?" "i-i merely refrained from sharing the truth, which would have sounded a lot more like a lie than what i told you" ". humphrey." "i'm--i didn't understand that either, i admit, but what was i going to say?" "that i was renting a tuxedo to attend a masked ball without a mask or an invitation to go get a girl who not only has a mask and an invitation, but another date?" "at least it's honest." "you--you hate this world. so do you, or so i thought." "all right, what's going on exactly?" "did you follow me here to prove that i was lying?" "yes, dan, that's why i'm here." "i stalked you because i am just so obsessed with you." "wait. don't stop there." "you're the whole reason i came back to new york, 'cause i just couldn't stop thinking about you." "all right, i get the point. you can lay off the sarcasm-- how about i lay off the whole evening?" "bye. wait, wait, wait, stop." "hold on. listen. i'm--i'm sorry." "i'm sorry that i lied about writing a term paper. you said you love me." "loved you... in the past and in a preshaving, 16-year-old kind of way." "you know, i mean, things have changed." "(voice breaks) clearly." "looks like someone's traded up." "so that's, um... vanessa, yeah. she's... beautiful." "i-i-i have to go after her. i'm sorry." "feel free to find me." "i found your pants." "well, you're getting warmer, which is an achievement considering you're already hot." "well, you better hope it doesn't get cold." "what is that supposed to mean?" "what the hell?" "!" "hey, my phone is in my pants, and i'm stuck up here, bitch!" "(dan) vanessa!" "vanessa, wait, please." "why won't you wait?" "come here--oh." "because you're not vanessa. i'm sorry. i'm sorry." "case of mistaken identity." "ironically, not involving masks." "lily." "there you are." "oh, i just needed a moment." "that-- what just happened-- the kiss?" "yeah, it made me feel a little-- nostalgic?" "nauseous. right, um, ouch." "no, i'm--i'm kidding, kind of." "i'm sorry, rufus." "i-i--maybe i shouldn't have asked you here." "right, um, and, um, i'm sorry i kissed you, but i did it because that mercenary in the starched white shirt-- he doesn't appreciate everything you have over an attractive 25-year-old mannequin." "'cause beauty fades, though yours has done a remarkable job of holding on, and in the long run, it's gonna be his loss." "and i thought he should know how it feels to lose you." "'cause trust me, it's not fun." "i think it worked." "lily, may i speak with you for a moment?" "if you'll excuse us." "happy to help." "jenny?" "hey." "serena." "um, look, you didn't see me here, okay?" "yeah, don't worry about it. just one in a series of things i'll pretend didn't happen tonight." "is everything okay?" "i'm not sure. dan surprised me by showing up here." "well, go, dan!" "yeah, except then he threw me for a loop by chasing after some girl named vanessa." "no, v.'s dan's best friend. yeah, well, they seemed like a little more than that." "they've kind of got a history, don't they?" "sure." "but, i mean, dan's never liked a girl like he likes you." "really. i mean, come on. he's at a masked ball, and i think he'd go basically anywhere with you... except for maybe the ice capades 'cause that really freaked him out when he was 5." "you know what?" "i... i think i'll go and try to find him." "i don't know how i'm gonna find anyone." "this stupid mask keeps falling over my eyes." "well, i'd give you mine, but masks come off at midnight, and i kind of need my disguise to get out of here." "you know what?" "you wanna trade?" "sure." "thanks." "and here, take this. it's so hot in here, and you'll probably be cold outside." "here you go." "did you have fun tonight?" "it was everything i hoped." "good." "okay, let's see. here." "oh, thanks. pretty." "serena, just don't say anything and let me explain." "(under breath) oh, my god." "i've been trying to do the right thing, but it's killing me." "look, i know we both care about blair, but maybe the best thing is for me to just tell her the truth." "i'm not over you, and i thought i could fight it, but i can't." "and if you don't stop me, i'm gonna kiss you." "oh!" "nate?" "wh-- nate, what are you doing?" "it's almost midnight." "you have to find blair. look, okay, whatever." "just forget the clue. she's wearing big, tall boots and a big old crown. just go, okay?" "hurry." "serena, have you seen nate?" "hey!" "(bracelet snaps)" "(all) five, four, three, two, one!" "jenny." "it's midnight!" "masks off!" "(cheering)" "serena." "serena!" "sere--serena, wait." "i'm so sorry. serena!" "little jenny humphrey manages to get my pants off and have me not enjoy it." "quite the accomplishment." "good thing someone else at the party was as lecherous as you, or you'd still be up on that roof, and, no, i don't want to know what you had to do to get that tux." "this is me." "all right, chuck, i'll see you in the a.m." "unh-unh. no, you didn't find me by midnight." "no happily ever after for you." "blair, i'm--i'm sorry." "(sighs) all i wanted was for us to start over, and you didn't even try." "(chuck) well, at least somebody's having a good night." "(cell phone rings) hello?" "serena, hey. what-- will you please just talk to me?" "please. why did you run away from me?" "wait. what are you talking about?" "you're the one that ran away. i don't think so." "blonde hair, yellow dress, black furry thing?" "there is only one serena van der woodsen." "yeah, no, not tonight." "let me say... for the record... i like you." "only you." "well, that's good, because i feel the same about you." "i'm glad that's cleared up." "hey, um, you know, i hear the ice capades are coming to town." "mm. if you're there, so am i." "you guys are up late." "we were celebrating." "eleanor waldorf has agreed to let your father's firm take her company public." "congrats. that's great news." "it is, which is why i was looking for a wine opener so i could surprise your father with a bottle of margaux, which is how i found this." "well, what do you have to say for yourself, nate?" "what?" "well, it isn't mine, and it isn't your father's, so that only leaves one other person in this house." "hey, you're still up." "yeah, not that tired. well, i am. i'm exhausted." "i ended up going to that ball, actually." "oh, really?" "yeah." "well, your night's not over." "there's someone here to see you." "pierogis?" "i come in peace." "great. 'cause i'm starving." "(sighs deeply) look-- save it, humphrey. you've never done contrite well." "besides, i'm the one who should apologize." "no, really, i am. i should have told you about serena." "and i should have asked you. well, i shouldn't have lied about tonight." "and i shouldn't have run out on you." "look, if we're gonna be friends again, we're gonna have to figure this stuff out." "you're right, and i've missed having a friend." "i've missed being one." "we can start slow, with the basics." "like, uh, fewer lies, more ukrainian food." "and you telling me about everything i missed while i was gone, such as serena." "well, she's pretty fantastic, almost as good as this pierogi." "yeah, she's got this crazy mother who's always, like, sparring with me, and this--and this best friend who's very hard for me to deal with." "the best friend has a boyfriend who's hard for me to deal with." "it's--it's all very hard for me. it's very hard for me." "let me start at the beginning." "it began in ninth grade..."