"surgeons aren't known for being warm and cuddly they are arrogant, impatient, mean as often as nugget you can go with straight up chemo and immunol therapy the survival rates are prttey low, but there is a lot of succsefull metastat-sectomies." "we could propbly just, you know, cut this thing out you think they wouldn't have friends" " 'cuz who could stand them. - what are you hiding?" "nothing. its just work stuff." " what is that?" "physical surgery?" " no. its nothing." "its nothing whatever it is ,they're gonna pick me i'm already for the solo." "Just for training well." " are you sure you just won't tell him - yes, i am sure ok look, I researched a ton of information here you should read all of this before you see this oncologist." "What is that?" "i called dr. golding and he gave me a direct profile of dr." "Swender." "so i gonna try and get you in today what are you doing here,i told you i was fine" "Oh, god." "You are so not fine." "i will be fine if i knew Derek is fine what?" "you still haven't heared from him?" "no word?" "Izzie, don't you think you should call in sick today?" " what?" "why?" " because this is a lot of reading and you are sick" " you guys coming?" "big surgery today - yeah izzie, just but surgeons are like a bad cold nasty but persistent" " chief, i need to ask you about" " Sloan have you heared from Derek no." "oh, i am sorry. you were saying?" " Meredith - no, i don't know how he is.i have heared nothing nothing today, nothing yesterday, nothing the day before that." "and no. i will not go back out there." "hey, why move my surgery." " chief,chief. - don't. just don't he's a wreck.He's disintegrating before our very eyes." "That's why men die earlier than women." " board's a mess. - he can't lose sheperd i'll go talk a sense to him, but" " just got too much on my plate - have you tried calling him?" "about a hundred times" "no. oh. you want me to go to the woods. no ." "i don't do woods. the woods are dirty and there are many many bugs what am i gonna say to the guy?" "i barely know him." "you don't have to know him. you're both surgeons." "and you've been to the same war just remind him we've all been there." "we all came back." "you are kind of a bully, you know that?" "wouldn't do it if it didn't work so well." "this is one of the biggest surgeries you may have ever get anywhere near. so please pay attention the patient is 38-year-old man who is hit by a drunk driver 12 years ago." "he suffered severe facial trouble he's got no nose no lips thats why we dubed him blowhole he's had 9 reconstructive surgeries none of which brought back full form or function this surgery have already been done 4 times worldwide and" "all of the candidates have to undergo extensive psychologicl testing to determine wheather or not they can handle the process psychological components are assigned cuz this surgery has a huge chance of rejection or infection patient will have to be in a room ... we will be on right for antirejection drugs" "which pretty might risk for lung foma, diabetes, hypertension, remon failure i hear they call the dude blowhole what did you just say?" "nothing i just heared the other nickname." "don't talk anymore, ever!" "holly crap!" " blowhole is right - what did i tell you?" "surgeons, nasty, aggressive, unstoppable." "just the kind of people you want on your side when you are really screwed" "ladies and gentlemen this is MR david young today he will be receiving a face transplant" "Dr. hunt and his team" "Will be recovering the donor facial graft." "We're replacing 70% of mr. young's face." " see the deficit here. - or here." "The donor recovery will include his nose" "Left eye, lips, left zygoma." "Why will allotransplantation" "Work better than traditional techniques?" "better aesthetic outcome," "Which allows for reinnervation of the facial nerves," "Giving a better functional result." "Very good, dr. grey." "Then we'll position the flap over mr. young's face." "How do we know when we're in the clear?" "when the graft turns pink." "Excellent." "Dave, any questions for us?" "H-has anyone seen the donor?" "Yes. he's a match with your age, skin tone and blood type." "What does he look like?" "I think you'll be satisfied." "Who am I kidding?" "it's a face, right?" "If I end up anything above a point-and-stare freak," "I'm gonna call it a success." "Karev, you're with me on the donor." "Usually we take them at the same time," "But the donor's life support is fading fast. we gotta move." " Oh, thank you, sir. - uh, stevens, grey." "Yes!" "No, the other grey." " Really?" "uh, great. - great." "You did an awesome job in there." "Why don't you call me after the pre-op labs come in?" "Dr. sloan, only one resident?" "Wait for bailey. there's already going to be enough of a crowd." "What the hell?" "Uh, izzie," "I don't think you have time to scrub in with sloan." " Don't worry about it." "I can handle it. - awesome job." "She probably quizzed him in bed last night." "She gets to work on blowhole because she gave sloan a" "Shut your mouths!" "Finish the chart." "I'll be back." "Uh, o'malley, grey," "I need you on pre-ops and post-ops." "But there's the biggest surgery in the world happening here today." "Yes, and half our attendings are involved, which is why we need strong residents on pre-ops and post-ops." "Yang, you're with me today." "You're moving to the big leagues. what?" " She gets a solo?" " today?" "A nice old lady with a hernia. you're gonna fix it." "congratulations." "I know I should seem more enthusiastic," "But I'm not that big a person." "Don't worry about it." "Is it wrong to have hatred in your heart?" "Good morning, ms. sully." "I'm dr. cristina yang." "I'll be performing your hernia repair today." "Lovely to meet you." "do you have any questions before we get started?" "Oh, yes. can you hand me my purse, please?" "My friends gave me a bunch of questions," "And, well, I can't remember any of them, of course." "They're such worrywarts." "They're all off on a european tour without me." "They threatened not to go when this hernia" "Started becoming a problem, but I told them no, no." "We have been saving up for this for two years." "It helped that I was able to get my deposit back" "With a doctor's note. mm-hmm." "Cristina yang." "Yes." "No, no, it has to be today." "It's stage iv." "No, she has to see dr. swender," "Not--not a partner." "Uh... um, I'm sorry, ma'am." "Um, I will get to your questions" "When I come back to examine you, okay?" "Referral was golding. golding." "It's a little early in the day for that," "Don't you think?" "You sound like my mother." "Uh, I met your mother." "I liked her." "Who sent you--richard?" "Uh, bailey." "Of course." "Look, I'm sorry about your patient." "I know how hard it could be." "I-i had a patient a couple of years ago" "Uh, young guy, 50 maybe." "Simple knee replacement." "He was post-op, he was fine." "I even told his wife she could go and get him lunch." "I mean, it was a simple knee replacement. it was nothing." "But, uh, he'd been getting short of breath," "So I put him on blood thinners for a post-surgical p.e." "And, uh, it wasn't until he was vomiting up dark red blood," "Looking me in the eye telling me that he was dying" "That I figured it out-- that I was wrong." "That it wasn't a p.e. he was bleeding internally." "And it wouldn't have been fatal, but the blood thinners..." "God, I will never forget the look on his wife's face..." "When she came back with that sandwich in her hand," "Asking me why her husband wasn't in his room anymore." "How do you live with it?" "Killing him..." "Taking him from his wife" "How do you live with it?" "We call it malpractice. we call it a mistake." "Yeah, I know what we call it." "I'm asking you, when you get up in the morning," "How do you look at yourself in the mirror?" "I'm not--i'm--i'm..." "I'm asking." "Can I get one of those?" "It's the not knowing that does it" "Not knowing if he's okay, not knowing if he's coming back." "Maybe I've just been dumped." "I mean, it's not knowing if I'm single" "That makes me want to throw up all day long." " You are not listening to me, are you?" " uh, sorry." "No, no, that's okay." "I get it." "You've got the solo surgery and g.i. joe." "It's a charmed life. you don't have time for me." "I have not had g.i. joe. we've kissed a couple times." "It's like friends with benefits," "Without the benefits." "Still no sex?" "Mnh-mnh. not a charmed life." "Lab results on the splenectomy." "Do we ask?" "No... 'cause he might tell us." "Can you imagine?" "This guy's got a family, right?" "A wife, kids?" "One day they're gonna be walking down the street" "And see his face on somebody else's body." "It's kinda creepy, right?" "Mr. young won't look exactly like the donor." "The underlying facial structure" "Of any two people can be very different." "plus, a person's identity is more than just skin and bone" "His expressions, his style, his eyes." "The donor's family wouldn't recognize this face on anyone else." "Transplant surgeons are getting antsy." "Transplant surgeons are always antsy." "They can't relax until they've got live tissue in their coolers." "All right, I am making the final dissection." "Karev, take a hold right at the temple" "And gently..." "lift" "Don't tear the flesh." "Awesome." "Tenderness around the incision is normal." "No signs of infection." "Would you redress that wound?" "Uh, Megan, will you please go to 20..." "Go to room 22-14 and..." "Thanks." "Just take out the drain..." "When you're ready?" "Uh, I know it seems personal," "And we wouldn't ask if we didn't need to know," "But have you passed gas yet?" "Sorry." "We can't release you until that happens" " The gas." " I'm sorry." "I'm trying to listen." "But are they supposed to look like that?" "Like what?" "The bleeding and the shiner," "And that one looks like she's suicidal." "They're supposed to be doctors?" "We're gonna reserve judgment on that for right now." "Freak show." "What the heck do we do with them?" "can we shove them in a locker?" "I guess we should just talk to them." "No." "We're professionals, and that's clearly personal." "besides, we'll just waste time." "We'll never get to see the solo surgery or the face transplant." "Oh, that's a-- yeah, that's a good point." "I guess, well, we should-- we should just ignore it then." "yeah, we should just ignore it." "It's the professional thing to do." "yeah, professionally ignore them." "It's important that you take all the medications," "Uh, because there's a risk of" "Risk of rejection and infection." "I know." "I know. you drilled it into my head a thousand times." "And is your family here yet?" "I'm--i just ask because" "Someone's gonna need to take care of you afterwards." "I don't have family," "But my friends are coming after the surgery." "I'm excited to meet them and show them my new face." "We met in an online chat room for orchid lovers," "And, well, um, we've never actually "met" met, so..." "Dave, um, after the surgery," "This device is gonna help prevent lung problems" "By exercising the muscles you use to breathe." " I'd like you to practice on it now, okay?" " Sit up straight." "Take three easy breaths and then blow... into that..." "Hole." "That's it." "Both of you in the hall, now." "You really think that was okay?" "!" "You think that was doctorly?" "!" "you two find something else to do." "What the hell is going on with you?" "They were making completely inappropriate jokes" "At the expense of the patient right in front of him." "I have been trying to teach them," "And they were cruel and inappropriate." "okay, they were inappropriate." "You know what else is inappropriate?" "this. you." "This case is my baby." "I've spent three years planning for it," "And you and your emotional life" "Are not about to piss all over it." " You're off the case." " No." "he needs me in there with him." "You can't leave him alone with those interns." "Okay, fine. you want to be there for his feelings?" "You can be there before and after the surgery." "But you're not coming in my o.r." "And whatever's going on with you, stevens," "You better get it under control." "I found them." "What?" "oh, um, the, uh, questions about the surgery?" "One of my friends who went on the trip--Bill Ferguson." "He's a retired surgeon, and he told me to ask you these," "But I can't seem to find my glasses." "My friends should be here." "I'm always putting my glasses down somewhere," " And they always find them for me-- - okay," ""will you finally be able to pick up your grandkids?"" "Is--is this a question from a doctor?" "No. no, my other friends helped me with some questions," "Plus I added a few on my own, like will it hurt?" "Will it... hurt?" "You'll be anesthetized." "Oh, yes, I know that." "I mean, after, will it hurt?" "Uh, you should expect normal, post-operative pain." "Yes." "Yes." "Oh, no. that is fantastic." "No, I'll--i'll take it." "I'll take it." "Thank you so much. thank you." "No, I'll get in touch with her right away." "Um, 2:30?" "anytime is fine." "So I've covered 22-13, 19 and 33." "Yeah, okay. and I've got 20-11 and 20-07." "Mer, there is something wrong with izzie." "Uh, what do you mean?" "I don't know." "All I know is that there is something wrong." "Well, you know, george," "We're already drowning in intern drama." "We don't need resident drama, too." "If it's a problem, she'll tell us." "Until then, just ignore it." "I repeat, ignore it." "What in god's name is going on?" "it's a personal issue," "And we are just trying to give them their privacy." "Oh, do you think for a second" "I wanted to get involved with your little intern dramas?" " We were not this bad. - oh, uh, getting married in vegas," "Shaking up with attendings, cutting l-vad wires?" "Look, you don't have to like it, but you have to manage it." "Oh, we've got it under control." "Wait!" "I love you, Megan!" "Sir." "Are you ok?" "I'm so sorry." "Whatever it is the two of you have going on, it stops now." " I didn't" " I-i don't think you should talk while she's talking." "You are scaring the patients." "And you're making this hospital look ridiculous," "And you're making us look incompetent." " No, but we have" " No, it's not a good idea." "Just stay away from each other. so much as a tear" "Or a glance in each other's direction, and it's over." " I don't understand-- - no, no, no. don't talk while I'm talking." "That's what I was..." "Now just get out." "Go." "Not together." "Oh, that felt good." "You paged me, dr. bailey?" "Oh, yes." "you're finished with your part of the face transplant, right?" "Yes, but I cleared my schedule" "To watch sloan and dr. yang do their surgeries." "So whatever it is you need," "I hope it's not too time consuming." "That all depends on how fast you can drive and talk." "Uh, I'm sorry." "I need you to drive out to the woods" "And talk derek shepherd into coming back here." "And I believe you also might run into callie torres," "With a flat tire or a broken heel" "Or an... ax-wielding serial killer." " You're serious?" " see, I sent torres after shepherd," "And she's fallen off the grid." "Her phone goes straight to voice mail." "Okay, i--i'm normally not a panicky person," "But I'm a fan of daytime television," "And, you know, the mind creates these scenarios" "Uh, never mind." "I need you to go get torres and shepherd" "And bring them back here" "Before the chief notices that any of you are gone." "Shepherd's been gone all week." " I'm sure the chief wouldn't notice" " Hunt!" "You survived a war. mm-hmm." "You can do this." "I know I can do this." "I'm saying I don't want to." "People don't really say no to you, do they?" "Not when I say please." "I'm saying please." "O.r.'s set. transport's on its way." " You ready?" " I've been ready for 12 years." "Y-you said you had some friends" " That were coming to take care of you?" " yeah, after my surgery." "They're coming now." "Surprise!" "Hi, it's me, Shayna." "You can probably tell from my vanda rothschildiana." "Uh, I hope you're not mad that we came early." "We thought we should be here through it all," " Make sure you knew-- - get out." "Get them out. they're strangers." "I don't want them in here." "Well, we're hardly strangers, Dave." "We chat every night, all night for years." " We--we flew in s-- -get out!" "We've never met. you don't know me." "You don't know anything about me. get out." "Get--get them out!" "get out!" "get out!" "Get out!" "Hey, did you get my page?" "You got the appointment. it's in, like, 15 minutes." "God, how amazing am i?" "It usually takes weeks to get in there." "Uh, did you take a look at the research?" "seriously?" "can I just eat?" "No." "I'm sorry. you don't have time." "Time for what?" "To do, uh, there's, uh, an enema." "Uh, izzie's enema." "Yes, I was supposed to get an enema today," "But I decided it can wait." "How about we talk about something else?" "N-no. we need to talk about it." "You've been complaining about being really backed up," "And I got you an appointment." "Dude, if you need an enema that bad, maybe you shouldn't have all these fries." "You really booked her an appointment for an enema?" "You can't just say that you're all backed up and just sit there, izzie." "If you make the decision to get an enema, then you should get an enema." "I think maybe you're the one that's backed up." "Solo surgery panic?" "Tell you what--I'll scrub in with you." "If you can't handle it, I'll take over." "I don't--i'm--no. okay." "You know, I'm just saying," "Enemas can be a serious business." "Okay. izzie, "enema" is code for what?" "My enema, my business." "Uh, 15 minutes." "This is a really strange day." "I was a second-year resident." "M.v.c. rolls in." "Parents were in the front seat, three kids in the back." "Kids were okay." "Mom and dad were a little banged up, but nothing terrible." "They were talking and laughing in the E.R." "Turns out both parents had massive internal injuries." "I operated on them both that night--hours." "Lost 'em both." "You know, if I had moved faster, if I had rushed them to c.t., if I had known how bad off they were sooner," "But I didn't." "The oldest kid was 9." "When I came out to tell 'em about their dad, he was trying to console the 3 year old and the 5 year old about their mother." "I'll never get that image out of my head--this" "This 9-year-old boy trying to hold these 2 little ones," "And his arms-- just not big enough." "I don't know how I came back the next day." "I think part of me never did." "I'm surprised you didn't talk about Iraq." "I don't talk about Iraq." "At I'm-- what my point was" "I kept..." "You know, I..." "I went back." "I showed up." "I..." "I showed up for work, you know?" "Or you go dead inside." "You go dead inside because if you actually felt it?" "If you let yourself feel that?" "No way you're going back." "No way." "You blew it off?" "Cristina, please." "I called every favor I had in this hospital" "And then some." "Swender's the best surgical oncologist In this state." " Why didn't you go?" " why do you care so much?" "Oh, why don't you?" "I'm working really hard on this." "So the least you can do is they were calling the guy blowhole, cristina." "Not just the interns" " Alex." "What are they gonna call me when I'm the patient," "Swiss cheese for brains?" "No." "That's awkward and long." "Blowhole's pithy." "I'm not gonna be a piece of meat in this hospital" "While you all fight over who gets to slice me up and then laugh while you do it." "Okay, this right here" "This, um, is" "A-an emotional thing you're having" "Which is why you should tell Meredith or George or" "I'm not telling anybody, so just drop it." "No. y-you're not dumping this on me." "You're not dying in my arms." "So either you tell them, or I will." "No, I don't even know if I want treatment, cristina." "I know too much." "I know how violent surgery can be." "They're gonna cut into my brain." "They're gonna slice open my abdomen" "And pull my organs out, and for what?" "Surgery fails all the time." "Derek shepherd is in the freakin' woods right now" "Because we fail all the time." "And even if they do everything right," "I have a 5% chance of survival 5%" "Why would I put myself through hell," "Run poison through my veins, irradiate my brain," "If it's not gonna work anyway?" "Why did you tell me, then?" "If you don't want my help," "And you're not gonna do anything about it," "Why did you tell me?" "Just keep your mouth shut" "And forget I ever told you anything." "Izzie." "Oh." "You need to call 'em back, Dave." "You're my surgeon, right?" "You're not my shrink." "So why don't you just do your job?" "Because I can't do my job anymore." "It took us three years to find the right candidate," "And part of you being the right candidate" "Is having a support system post-op." "You cannot do this alone." "The ethics board will not allow me" "To let you do it alone." "You need your friends." "You see that orchid?" "It's--it's ugly." "To anyone who doesn't know orchids," "It's dark and droopy and it's ugly..." "Unless you know it," "Unless you understand how it adapted" "What it's lived through," "And how strong it had to be to survive." "A photo of that orchid," "That's the only picture my friends have seen of me." "And that's how I wanted them to picture me" "Until I had my new face." "People look away from me." "Kids cry and..." "Adults cringe." "They look away." "I didn't want my friends..." "I d--i didn't want them" "To ever have any reason to look away." "They didn't look away." "Your friends," "They didn't cringe, not one of them." "They didn't look away." "You looked away." "You didn't trust them. you looked away from them." "Look, let us call them. they flew all the way here." "Just let us call them back." "It's not too late." "If you want this surgery, dave," "You gotta give 'em a chance." "Oh, uh, chief?" "Dr. Bailey." "Ooh. how's your mood?" "Eager." "Anxious." "Uh, I'm excited about Sloan's face transplant." "I'm a little concerned about Derek shepherd," " But, you know, all in all" " Do I look like a therapist?" "You asked." "I've lost Hunt and Torres." "See, I-I sent them to get Shepherd," "And I never heard from them again." "See, I was trying to solve the Shepherd situation" "For you, sir," "But it appears I've somehow made it three times worse." "So I'm telling you, and my next move, I believe," "Is that I'm gonna call the police," "Because I'm half convinced they're all dead..." "On a spit with a one-armed man" "Turning 'em into shish kebabs." "Sir, it's my mind, it just goes there." "Don't beat yourself up." "It's a hard decision." "Yeah, you've been with pierce for the whole year." "Just listen to your heart." "Stop thinking so hard. exactly." "Listen to your heart." "Why are they starting late?" "There was a problem with the recipient." "They've only got a few hours left" "For that face to still be viable." "Oh, shoot." "Sloan must be freaking out, right?" "Home wrecker. what did you just say?" "What?" "what did he just say?" " Guys, guys!" " Hey!" "you two, get out. you, come with me." "Come on. hey, buddy." "You need to start talking.You need to start talking now." "I really can't." "Talk to Steve." "Ry-guy, you gotta start talking, dude... mnh-mnh." "Because any second, they're gonna start" "That face transplant surgery, and then her good friend ... my best friend." "Is gonna have her very first solo surgery," "And so..." "We have very little patience right now." " Look, it's not my place - okay." "You are gonna tell me everything that's going on," "Or else every time I have a rectal exam or an infected abscess," "It's gonna have your name on it. every time." "Megan was with Pierce," "But they broke up for a little bit." "While they were broken up, she slept with Steve," "And then she got back together with Pierce." "But Steve Sent her an e-mail about how they slept together," "And instead of just e-mailing her," "He hit "reply all," went to a whole bunch of people," "One of 'em was Pierce." "And now Steve says he loves her." "Pierce wants to kill him." "Megan's, like, really freaking out, right?" "Because..." "Okay, wait, so a while back, someone sent" "This text message, right?" "And, like, I didn't get it." "I didn't get to see it." "It just came to certain people's phones, you know..." "Why would they come back?" "I was cruel." "I was hateful." "You were scared. they surprised you." "You were in shock, and it wasn't what you were expecting." "You were... you were just" " I was awful." "You were scared." "And you were trying to protect them." "If they're your friends, they'll understand." "I didn't want you to see it." "This--this ugliness, it isn't me." "I-i didn't want you to see it." "This right here..." "It looks just like the coryanthes speciosa." "You guys see that?" "She's right." "The coloring's just the same." "If the surgery doesn't take," "If--if I reject the donor face, I'll be uglier." "I'll--i'll be even uglier than I am right now." "Please don't call my dear friend ugly." "You're a survivor." "And it's written all over your face." "What the hell is this?" "oh, this is not okay." "I have a hospital to run." "And, derek, what the hell's the matter with you, man?" "We've all been there. we said that." "We've all had tough losses. he knows that." "We show up the next day, and we try and save" "The next life. yeah, we covered that, too." "Okay, what about this?" "Nothing we do can stop death." "We can hold it at bay now and then," "But everyone dies." "And that's not on us." "I took a pregnant woman in for a simple surgery" "And I botched it." "That is on me." "I should feel badly about that." "And you?" "You should feel badly that while I was out here," "You sent meredith out here expecting a ring." "Why would you do that?" "Why in god's name would you do that?" "I..." "I was trying to help." "She didn't want to come." "I mean, she wanted to leave you out here alone." "I..." "I was trying to help, derek." "You were trying to help yourself, not me." "Yourself." "I hit the ring in the woods." "In the woods." "You destroyed me." "You'll place the facial graft." "I'll be connecting the vessels and nerves." "Get the microscope ready." "Okay, people, it's time." "You ever put a new face on someone?" "Really?" "I'll take the right side, you take the left." "Very gently." "That's it." "Take your time. he's not going anywhere." "Okay." "Watch the left corner of his mouth." "You're off center just a bit." "There we go." "Careful around the eyes." "Good. very good, dr." "Grey." " Get out.- no." " Get out.- no." " Richard!" " no!" " Get out!" " look, I've destroyed lives before," "Several in fact, and yours is not one of them." "I sent the woman you love out here to help you." "I sent the woman who loves you out here" "To bring you back to your life." "If you ruined it with her, that's on you." "I don't accept it." "You're scared. you're drunk.you don't know which way is up." "You threw a punch at your best friend," "You threw a ring at Meredith,now you want to throw me out." "I'm not accepting it, because I'm older than you," "And I've been where you are." "You been drunk for a few days." "I was drunk for years." "And I know you're gonna need at least one friend" "When you decide to come out of that hole you're digging." "I hope you come out of it soon." "I'll be here when you do." "I don't think I can get her back." "Did you call her?" "What am I gonna say?" "I had an affair for years." "And when Adele found out, somehow she..." "She took me back." "You can make your way back..." "From anything." "This is year one of your residency." "You turn on each other now," "You're not gonna make it." "Okay, here's what's gonna happen" "All of you are going to go find the sense" "That the good lord gave you" "And never behave like this within the four walls" "Of this hospital ever again." "You are doctors." "Pierce, get an ice pack" "And put it on that oozing, disgusting mess of an eye." "And, Steve, go to the pit" "And get that unsanitary" "Bloody hand x-rayed and stitched." "And, Megan, you should go to o.b." "Because, yes, you are pregnant." "That was very Bailey." "You ready, dr." "Yang?" "Wait." "I'm sorry." "I need one thing from you before I go under." "Now I haven't asked for much." "You haven't answered my questions," "And I understand that you're busy," "But I'm scared." "I don't want to die." "I want to go on a tour of Russia with my friends next year." "I may just be a batty old lady to you," "And this may be a silly little procedure," "But I need you to tell me that it's gonna be okay." "You're my surgeon, after all." "This isn't a silly procedure, to me, ms." "Sully." "And I will get you through this." "Thank you." "I'm ready now." "Izzie has stage iv metastatic melanoma" "That has spread to her brain, liver and skin." "She may only have months to live," "And she's resisting treatment." "She needs help." "Scalpel." "No, no, don't try to talk, Dave." "It'll only hurt. you did great." "Can he see his new face?" "I think he'd really like to see it. it's still early." "It's very swollen and bruised." "The tissue needs time to settle." "But yeah." "I'll give you a sneak peek." "Sometimes we fail, but that's not always the case." "I know. blowhole has a new face." "You know, and what people call him" "To get through the day is" "Cristina, I know." "I told Alex" "And Bailey." "And they're telling Meredith and George." "Cristina" "No, I couldn't do my job." "I think you came to me for help," "And that's what I did." "Because sometimes we win, Izzie." "And I want you to fight, okay?" "You know, for whatever that's worth," "I want you to fight." "Thank you." "Dr. Grey?" "They think that you're taking advantage of me," "And they think that I'm using you." "But they don't know us." "They think that we're ugly," "But I know that we're beautiful." "And we can adapt to a hostile environment." "Thanks for coming." "Thanks for calling." "I love you." "I know." "Would you still love me if I wasn't a surgeon?" "No." "No, because Izzie..." "Has skin cancer that spread to her brain." "And you're one of about 20 people in the world" "Who can save her." "And I don't know if I could respect somebody" "Who could walk away from a gift like that." "So please don't." "Here are her scans." "It's pretty bad." "Practicing medicine" "Doesn't lend itself well to making friends..." "Maybe because life and mortality..." "Are in our faces all the time..." "Maybe because in staring down death every day..." "We're forced to know that life..." "Every minute..." "Is borrowed time..." "And each person we let ourselves care about..." "Is just one more loss somewhere down the line." "For this reason..." "I know some doctors who just don't bother" "Making friends at all." "But the rest of us..." "We make it our job to move that line..." "To push each loss..." "As far away as we can."