"(THEME SONG PLAYING)" "Twenty years and our aluminum tree looks good as new." "Love this tree." "I like you, Eric, but I love this tree." "Okay, please, I am just asking you, please," "Topanga's gonna be staying here for Christmas, overnight." "Could we please not run naked down the hall singing We Wish You a Merry Christmas?" "I'm looking at you." "I only do it because people have come to expect it." "Anything embarrassing about your dad you'd care to mention?" "Well, at this stage of your life, are you capable of change?" "Nope." "Okay, so just when you do it, say, "excuse me."" "Eric, come here." "What?" "(SIGHS)" "What do you think of this?" "(GASPS) A ring." "This is so sweet, Cory, but I can't accept this." "We're family." "It'd be wrong." "No." "It's a promise ring for Topanga." "It means we're gonna be together forever." "That's really precious." "You guys must be the most precious couple in the universe." "You're freaks." "No naked running." "You got it?" "Cor, look what I brought you for Christmas." "Look, Miss Topanga head." "Hi, guys." "Thanks for letting me spend Christmas with you." "My parents went on a cruise to Barbados, but I told them, no, I wanted to spend Christmas with Cory." "Hey, why don't we toast Topanga's first Matthews Christmas with some of my special eggnog?" "Yeah!" "There you are." "Mmm, this is really good." "Have you guys ever tried hot mulled cider?" "No." "Nog." "We're an eggnog family." "Wait." "If this is tradition, I would never want to interfere with tradition." "It's just that, you know, my family's always had cider." "Well, we can have both, huh?" "How?" "How could we have both?" "You ever been to the supermarket?" "The cider's nowhere near the eggnog." "You know why?" "They hate each other." "Go get Topanga some cider." "Gas money?" "No." "Go." "I'm gonna go with him." "Listen, Topanga, is there anything else we can get for you that's gonna make your Christmas with us more enjoyable?" "No, and I'm really sorry to put you guys out." "It's just that cider on Christmas is, like, my family's one tradition." "Well, that and we go to our favorite evergreen tree farm." "But everybody has one of..." "What the heck is that?" "As long as we're in Vermont, could we stop and get some syrup?" "We'd be nuts not to." "This is gonna be the best Christmas ever." "Ask her if she still wants it on the 25th, Cor!" "You guys, this is my first Christmas away from my family, and I just really want to thank you for making me feel like part of yours." "You're welcome, honey." "So what time on Christmas Eve do you guys open your presents?" "We open them on Christmas morning." "Oh." ""Oh"?" "Oh." "Oh." "Conference." "Come here." "Come here." "What?" "What?" "Welcome to the rest of your life." "Eric, so she opens her presents on Christmas Eve." "This isn't about the presents." "So she wanted a real tree." "This isn't about the 600-mile drive to Vermont." "Okay, so she makes purring noises when we make out." "But perhaps I've said too much." "Listen, what this is about is today she takes over Christmas, tomorrow it's the rest of your life." "Goodbye, Cory Matthews." "Hello, whatever your Topanga name is." "What's the big deal about when we open presents?" "And my Topanga name is Captain Take-Me-Shopping." "Yeah, well, Captain, this isn't about the presents, okay?" "This is about the power struggle between men and women since the creation of man over 300 years ago." "Wait till you guys see what I have to put on top of that tree." "I'll be right back." "Okay, okay." "Okay." "Hey, another conference." "Come here." "Come here." "What?" "Why are you letting her walk all over you?" "She is not walking all over me." "Watch, okay?" "When she comes downstairs with her little ornament," "I am gonna let her know that our cardboard noodle star is going on our tree, or I'm not Captain Take-Me-Shopping." "Hi, guys." "(PURRS SEDUCTIVELY)" "He guessed." "It was a guess." "Won't this look beautiful on top of the tree?" "Topanga, I have something to say to you." "Let me guess." "You love the angel!" "I love the angel." "I have failed." "Duh!" "Um, hi, Topanga." "About you spending Christmas with us, the Matthews," "I have a problem." "Eric, if this is about the spending limits on presents," "I'm sorry." "I just saw something that was so Eric, and I had to get it." "I love you." "Welcome to our family." "Okay, okay." "Hello." "Greetings of the season." "It's Christmas Carol time." "I love A Christmas Carol." "Yeah." "Every year, Mr. Feeny comes over and reads it to us." "No one ever asks him to." "He just does." "Tradition." "You know what might be fun?" "Tradition." "What if instead of you just reading the story, we all took parts and acted them out?" "Cory, did someone express a problem with how I read this last year?" "Because if I was a little slow," "I could always pick up the pace." "Morgan would have a blast playing Tiny Tim." "I'm gonna go tell her." "But I'm Tiny Tim." "And Scrooge." "And all of them." "I'm sorry." "She likes things done her own way, but it's just one time of year, you know?" "It's not my whole life." "It's just Christmas." "And every morning when she tells me what to wear." "Nice shirt." "So, Jack, how do you usually celebrate Christmas?" "We usually go to Val d'Isere and ski the French Alps." "How about you?" "Well, those of us in the trailer park just like to thank God for all that we have this time of year." "We pray on the plane." "Okay, two brothers, not a whole lot in common." "Nothing alike whatsoever." "So how should we celebrate Christmas?" "I don't think it's important what we do as long as we do it together." "So what do we do?" "Hey, when I was a kid," "I used to always wonder what it'd be like to celebrate Christmas with my brother." "Now I'm gonna get that chance." "This is gonna be the best Christmas ever." "So what do you want to do?" "TOPANGA:" "Cory." "Cory, wake up." "(DOOR OPENS)" "Topanga?" "I mean," "Topanga, you frisky little girl, come in." "No." "I'm here because I couldn't sleep." "Well, I think you need a nice little snuggle, so come in." "No, I'm not here to "come in."" "Then why did you wake me up?" "I was wondering what you were doing." "At 3:00 in the morning?" "I'm usually sleeping and dreaming, and in my dream, I said, "come in," and you did." "Don't you ever wake up in the middle of the night?" "Not once ever." "Why?" "Well, to think about things." "What sort of things are you thinking about?" "Like, I know that Eric likes his eggnog and that your father loves his aluminum tree, and I know that you understand that I have my traditions, too." "And you're okay with that, aren't you?" "Well, yeah." "I mean, we all have our own traditions." "In fact, one of my favorite is sleeping when it's dark." "'Cause, you know, Cory, we're not the same people, and sometimes the way that I would do things is totally different than the way that you would do things." "Yeah, I know that." "I knew you would." "It's just good to know that for the rest of our lives, you'll get up with me at 3:00 in the morning to talk about things." "Good night." "(DOOR CLOSES)" "Now I'm up." "Dad, what are you doing up in the middle of the night?" "I'm always up now." "How come?" "Oh, every night I just wish that I can make it to the morning without that tap, tap, tap." ""Alan, are you up?"" ""Yes, pumpkin."" "Then those words," ""Let's talk."" "She talks until she falls asleep, and then I make models." "Zoom!" "Why are you up?" "Topanga." "She also likes to get up at 3:00 in the morning." "You know, Dad, she's been here for less than eight hours, and I'm just now finding out all these new things about her." "And that's bad?" "Yeah." "I mean, I always thought we were so much alike, and I thought that's why we get along so well." "Oh." "So just when you get to the point where you think that she's you, you find out that she's her." "So what do I do?" "I've been saving one of these for each of my sons." "Enjoy." "Merry Christmas Eve morning, sleepyhead." "Morning." "I made you my traditional Christmas Eve morning breakfast." "Pancakes shaped like Christmas trees." "Thank you." "(SIGHS) Oh, no." "No syrup." "We drove to Vermont for it." "These trees get snow." "(SINGING JINGLE BELLS)" "You know, I'm not really that hungry." "I think I'm gonna take the garbage cans out front." "Silly, there's no collection on Christmas Eve day." "Actually, I was gonna hang out there till the 4th of January." "Somebody got up on the wrong side of the bed." "Here, a glass of orange juice will wake you up." "Thanks." "So..." "Ah!" "What?" "This isn't orange juice!" "Well, I squeezed in some grapefruit." "But why?" "Orange juice on its own is very delightful." "Cory, you're a little tense." "Why don't we go for a walk?" "(GASPS) Along the way, I'll show you the route we'll take when we go caroling." "No." "Topanga, you know I can't sing." "It's Christmas." "We'll sing together." "No, you're not hearing me." "I can't sing." "I don't like to sing." "I get embarrassed when I sing." "It's just singing." "No, it's not just singing." "I like opening presents on Christmas morning." "I miss our aluminum tree." "You're right, you know, we're two different people, and we're not gonna change that." "Boy, you're with somebody for 32 years, you think you know them." "You walked out on Topanga on Christmas Eve day?" "Cory, go back." "No." "I'm not gonna go back." "You know, Jack, he doesn't realize how lucky he is to have a girl like Topanga." "I don't really know her." "You know, I was gonna give her this ring, Shawn, you know?" "I was gonna give her this ring that meant that we're gonna be together forever." "Okay?" "But then I started learning all these new things about her." "What kind of human being puts grapefruit juice in orange juice?" "Cory, I am but a simple idiot, but the one thing I do know is that you and Topanga are just like grapefruit juice and orange juice." "Okay?" "You shouldn't be together, yet somehow you are." "(LAUGHS)" "You know, I'm sure I'll get to know her." "And if I don't, I don't." "Well, Merry Christmas, everyone." "Shawn, you know, I thought Topanga and I were exactly alike, but we're not." "We're different people." "But I guess it's better I found this out now." "Cory, you want to talk about different people?" "Me and Jack, don't have one thing in common." "Nothing." "We're spending Christmas together trying to find one similarity." "Hey, some girl's here to see you." "Now, Cory, I know you're upset with me." "I'm sorry, I love you, and if you never want to go caroling with me, you don't have to." "I'm sorry that my family's traditions are different than your family's." "I'll just be waiting for you back at your house whenever you want to come home." "Go after her, Cory." "It's Christmas." "No, I need to think." "If Topanga won't let me fall asleep listening to Feeny read A Christmas Carol," "I'm gonna fall asleep watching it on TV." "SHAWN:" "Okay." "Do whatever you want, but I'm going ice skating." "Wait a minute." "You like ice skating?" "I love ice skating." "I love ice skating, too." "You're kidding!" "No!" "Now we got something in common, man!" "All right!" "Yeah!" "Let's go ice skating." "All right." "And every Christmas, we'll go ice skating." "We're starting a tradition right here." "I especially love ice skating in France." "Don't kill this." "Okay." "ANNOUNCER ON TV:" "And now we return to Charles Dickens' immortal classic, A Christmas Carol." "Mr. Matthews, wake up!" "Mr. Feeny." "I am not Feeny." "I am the Ghost of Christmas Future." "No." "You're a doorman at the Plaza Hotel." "You were watching A Christmas Carol and you fell asleep." "Now I am here to show you what will become of you if you stick to the path you have chosen." "I don't want to play." "Well, hey, look, there's Eric." "See, everything's the same." "Hey, bro." "He can't hear you." "This is Christmas future." "Well, look who lost his looks." "Cory, I'm home!" "Got your aluminum tree, your eggnog, and I had your pants let out!" "Now, why would I need my pants let out?" "Oh, I'm a big boy." "Once you let Topanga out of your life, you took comfort in food." "Not just any food, for some inexplicable reason, you eat only one thing." "Breakfast, lunch, dinner, 3:00 in the morning." "Gosh." "Okay, Mr. Feeny," "I want you to show me how horrible and miserable" "Topanga ended up without me." "Oh, you don't want to see this, Mr. Matthews." "It's pretty grim, huh?" "Show me." "Topanga." "She's beautiful." "But she's alone, isn't she?" "I guess that's what happens when you have to have everything your own way." "Look at that." "She even has to have wood delivered." "Probably no husband around to chop it for her." "Hey, wait a minute, that's Jack." "I don't really know you too well, but thanks for marrying me." "Well, obviously, it's a loveless marriage." "Those are supposed to be my kids." "All right, children, it's Christmas Eve." "Time to open presents." "You see that?" "Everything her own way." "Look at the tree." "It's aluminum." "Topanga would never have an aluminum tree." "How did Jack get her to do that?" "Perhaps he never ran out of the house like a coward." "Perhaps he realized that the spirit of love brings compromise, that when two people grow together, they start their own traditions." "You know everything, don't you?" "Oh, no, Mr. Matthews." "This is your dream." "I'm merely in it." "Topanga, I'm sorry, okay?" "We can have Christmas your way." "And the next year, maybe we can have it my way." "And the year after, we can have a combination of both of our ways, with the emphasis on your way." "She can't hear you." "Topanga," "I love you." "I love you, too," "Jack." "FEENY:" "Come, Mr. Matthews." "Time to go." "I really thought Cory would be back by now." "This is all my fault." "Hello." "If I would have never come here," "Cory would have never run away." "I've ruined your Christmas." "I just wanted so much to be part of your family." "I never wanted to push Cory away." "(CORY SINGING THE FIRST NOEL)" "Hi." "Hi." "Merry Christmas." "Cory." "It's a promise ring." "It means that we're gonna be together forever." "You mean you want to be together with me even though we're so different from each other?" "Yeah." "And don't get me a present this year, because, you already did." "You know, I thought I knew everything about you, but I'm just starting to find out." "It's good we're different." "Yeah, it is." "Open your present." "It's a promise ring." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "And now for my favorite part of the holidays." "A Christmas Carol, by Charles Dickens." ""A Christmas Carol, by Charles Dickens,"" "as read by George Feeny." ""Marley was dead," ""to begin with." ""There was no doubt whatever about that." ""The registrar of his burial was signed by the clergyman," ""the clerk, the undertaker..." ""And so, as Tiny Tim observed," ""God bless us, every one."" "(SNORING)" "Bah, humbug!"