"...so find yourself somebody" "Get yourself somebody" "You're nobody till somebody loves you" "You're nobody till somebody cares" "Now you may be king" "You may possess" "The world and its gold" "Gold won't bring you happiness" "When you're growing old" "Now the world is still the same" "You'll never change it" "As sure as the stars shine above" "You're nobody" "Till somebody loves you" "So find yourself somebody" "Get yourself somebody" "Find yourself somebody" "Somebody to love." "Thank you." "Hey, it's been 400 years but that little number still works for me." "Isn't he terrific?" "I prefer Klingon opera." "Come on, I'll introduce you." "To a hologram?" "Uh, Doctor, is this really necessary?" "Trust me." "He's no ordinary hologram." "Vic." "You're terrific." "Great." "Thanks, Doc." "Wonderful." "Very nice." "I know what you're thinking-- he has pretty sweet pipes for a light bulb." "Light bulb?" "That's what I am, right?" "A collection of photons and force fields-- you know, your basic heuristic fully interactive hologram." "He knows he's a hologram?" "Felix designed him that way." "Thought it would give him the right attitude for the era." "If you're going to work Vegas in the '60s you better know the score otherwise, you're going to look like a Clyde." "A Clyde?" "A Harvey, you know." "Harvey?" "A square." "You know what a square is, right?" "It's one side of a cube." "Well, I guess that answers my question." "Where are your manners, Julian?" "Aren't you going to introduce me to your entourage?" "I am so sorry." "Commanders Dax and Worf." "This is Vic Fontaine." "How long you kids been married?" "How did you know we were married?" "When you sing in as many joints as I have you become a student of the human heart." "Don't beat yourself up, pally." "Just because you miss your wife doesn't mean you've gone blind." "What's that supposed to mean?" "It means there are a lot of very attractive ladies in the room and it's all right to look at them as long as you don't touch." "He's good." "And as for you two..." "Yes?" "Never mind." "Forget I brought it up." "You have time for another song?" "Oh, no, no." "We've got to split, Vic." "Well, you know where to find me." "By the way, this is a high-class joint." "That means coat and ties for the gents dresses for the ladies." "You guys look like a trapeze act." "Catch you later, baby." "Come on, Julian-- you told him about Keiko." "I didn't say a word." "So, why don't we all meet here tomorrow night at 2100?" "We can listen to Vic's whole set then maybe hit the casinos play a little blackjack, roulette." "We'll be there." "Right?" "I still prefer Klingon operas." "Well, count me out." "I'm leaving for Bajor in the morning." "Oh, that's right." "I forgot." "Say hi to Shakaar for me." "Sorry." "I forgot." "Pretend you didn't hear that." "She doesn't want anyone to know that she's visiting the First Minister." "Business or pleasure?" "Ah, you see what you started?" "I said I was sorry." "So... what do you think?" "About what?" "About Vic." "Clever, isn't he?" "Too clever." "I tell you, I owe the man, Miles." "If it wasn't for him" "I wouldn't be dating Ensign Walker." "What are you talking about?" "She turned down three dinner invitations." "I talked to Vic he gave me a few pointers and, uh, voila." "Julian, are you telling me that you discussed your love life with a hologram?" "He's not an ordinary hologram, Miles." "He knows about love, life, women." "Three things you know nothing about." "Now that's a little unfair." "Well, then why are you asking advice from a light bulb?" "I don't know why you're so surprised." "What did you expect was going to happen?" "I wasn't expecting anything." "I see." "How long has it been since Shakaar and Major Kira broke up?" "I don't know." "About a year." "It's been over a year." "You've had plenty of time to arrange a... a merger with Kira, but in all that time, have you even tried to open negotiations?" "No." "It's not that simple." "Odo, the woman waited a year for you to make an offer-- any kind of offer." "Face it." "You've had plenty of opportunities and you've let them all slip away." "Who asked for your opinion?" "You did." "I came here to talk about a missing shipment of groat clusters." "You're the one who started talking about the Major." "You want my advice?" "No." "Make it easy on both of us." "Forget all about her." "Is that the best you can do?" "I'd like to see someone do better." "So would I." "You're not exactly the most lovable person in the galaxy." "You're not even the most lovable person in this sector or on the station... or even in this room." "You are cold... rigid, remote." "Can I leave now?" "Please do." "Wait." "Odo... make up your mind." "I need a favor from you." "It's about..." "Dr. Bashir's new holosuite program." "You're up late, Doctor." "Yeah." "Can't sleep." "Feeling a bit tense, actually." "I've got just the thing." "One warp core breach..." "coming right up." "A few sips of this... and you'll be relaxed for the next three days." "I'm not that tense, Quark." "Look, I think I'll just go up to the holosuite for a bit and, uh" "Holosuite?" "Yes." "If you could hand me my new program" "Uh, sorry, Doctor, all the holosuites are in use." "At this hour?" "It's been that kind of a night." "I'm afraid there won't be one available for the rest of the evening." "Oh, that's unfortunate." "Maybe I'll go and wake up Miles... play a little tongo." "I remember back in... must have been '58, I was playing the Sands." "One night, Frank and Dean dropped by." "We ended up taking over one of the blackjack tables." "Between the three of us we must've dropped 15 big ones and believe me, back then, that wasn't chump change." "So Frank goes over to the pit boss-- what was his name?" "Uh" "Look, Mr. Fontaine..." "Vic." "Vic... these stories are all very interesting but I didn't come here to reminisce about your past." "Yesterday, when my friends and I were here... you seemed to know things." "I've been around the block a couple times." "No, you seemed to know specific things." "For instance, Dax and Worf are married... the Chief misses his wife." "You don't have to be an Einstein to clue into any of that." "At one point, you were going to make an observation about..." "Major Kira and myself." "I thought about it but I didn't want to embarrass anyone, you know give away any secrets." "Exactly what secrets are you talking about?" "Come on-- do I really have to connect the dots?" "You're crazy about the broad but you're afraid to do anything about it." "And she... well, you know." "No." "Go on." "It's the oldest story in the book." "She thinks of you as a friend." "I wouldn't call that a secret." "But women have been known to change their minds." "You just have to give them a reason." "You make it sound so easy." "That's because it's not that hard." "The girl already likes you." "That means you're halfway home." "Well... she's aware of my feelings toward her but the truth is, she prefers Shakaar." "Who?" "The First Minister of Bajor." "He's a leader, a hero, a man with great charisma." "I don't care if he's JFK." "It's not the other guy you have to worry about." "It's you." "Me?" "That's right." "I mean, for starters, you've got to lose this whole Nanook of the North thing." "I..." "l-I don't understand." "Well, I mean, you've got about as much personality as an icicle." "Cool is one thing, but you're frozen solid." "You think I have no emotions." "Oh, believe me, I do." "I just don't always show them." "And therein lies the problem." "Come with me." "Where to?" "Look, pally, if you want to win the girl we got to thaw you out a little bit." "You know, turn up the heat... get those emotions you claim to have bubbling to the surface." "It's time to have some fun." "What does fun have to do with Major Kira?" "I'll pretend I didn't hear that." "First..." "let's lose those threads." "I mean, there's nothing like a tuxedo to make you feel like... a million bucks." "You mean..." "something like this?" "Very sharp." "After you." "Oh, uh..." "I don't sing." "Glad to hear it." "I don't need the competition." "What I do need is someone to handle the black and whites." "My piano player just threw ten sevens in a row at the craps table and took off for Reno." "So have a seat, my friend." "Crowd's getting restless." "What crowd?" "That one." "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen." "I'm Vic Fontaine." "And tonight is going to be a gas." "Hit it, Nanook." "No. l-I don't play the piano." "You want to bet?" "Stay with me, pally." "Well, you don't need me." "The piano's doing all the work." "That's not the point." "You've got to sell it." "Style, baby, style." "Make 'em believe." "Style." "Come fly with me" "Come fly, let's fly away" "If you can use some exotic booze" "There's a bar in far Bombay" "Come fly with me" "Come fly, let's fly away" "Come fly with me" "Let's take off to Peru" "In llama land, there's a one-man band" "And he'll toot his flute for you" "Come fly with me" "Let's take off in the blue" "If I get you up there" "Where the air is rarefied" "We'll just glide" "Starry eyed" "Once I get you up there" "I'll be holding you so near" "You may hear" "Angels cheer 'cause we're together" "Weather-wise" "It's such a lovely day" "You just say the words" "And we'll beat the birds" "Down to Acapulco Bay" "It's perfect for a flying honeymoon" "They say" "Come fly with me" "Let's fly, let's fly away" "Once I get you up there" "Where the air is rarefied" "We'll just glide" "Starry eyed" "Once I get you up there" "I'll be holding you so near" "You may hear" "Angels cheer 'cause we're together" "Weather-wise" "It's such a lovely day" "Just say the words" "And we'll beat the birds" "Down to Acapulco Bay" "It's perfect for a flying honeymoon" "They say" "Come fly with me" "Let's fly, let's fly away" "Come fly with me" "Pack up, let's fly away." "Whoo!" "No, it's... it's nothing." "Cool!" "Bottoms up." "Oh, I don't drink." "Why am I not surprised?" "It's not real booze." "You're in a holosuite, remember?" "Ah." "So, how'd you like being in the spotlight?" "Very bright." "That's all you got to say?" "Well, the lights kept me from seeing the audience." "I suppose that's why I wasn't nervous." "Nothing to be nervous about." "You were too busy having fun." "Well, I suppose I was." "I'm just grateful none of my friends saw me." "There you go-- tensing up again." "Look at you." "I mean, you're standing there like a statue." "I mean, the only things you're going to attract are pigeons." "Sit down." "Relax." "Take a couple of deep breaths." "You do that and everything you want will come to you." "That's all it takes?" "Try it." "Go on." "See?" "Are you expecting someone?" "Let's find out." "Surprise!" "Well, for crying out loud, what are you two lovely ladies doing here?" "You invited us, remember?" "Oh, that's right." "Come on in." "Odo, we've got company." "Look, it's the piano player." "We saw you perform tonight." "Melissa thinks you're adorable." "Would you mind if I looked at your hands?" "Show her your hands." "I knew it." "They're so artistic." "You know, I once played on the same bill with Liberace." "He has the sweetest dimples." "Are you classically trained?" "No, actually, uh" "Vic taught me everything I know." "Is he a good student?" "Head of his class." "Maybe I can help you get your diploma." "All right, ladies, the night is young and I have a table waiting for us at the Dunes." "We're going to see Shecky." "Shecky." "Shecky who?" "Oh, you didn't tell me he had a sense of humor." "He plays the piano and he's funny." "Kind of like Victor Borge." "Who?" "I think I'm in love." "After you, ladies." "Uh, l-I don't think" "What are you worried about?" "Melissa's a very nice girl." "Oh, no, I'm sure she is." "It's just... she's not Kira." "Tell me something." "How do you get to Carnegie Hall?" "I have no idea." "Practice, practice, practice." "Get it?" "No." "Think of this evening as a trial run." "Trust me." "You're going to do great." "All right." "Captain, here's the report on that smuggling ring you requested." "Should I forward the information to the Zevian authorities?" "I'll let you know in a minute." "No, no, they" "Can't take that away from me" "The way your smile just beams..." "Yes, Captain?" "Oh, don't stop on my account." "Stop what?" "You were singing." "I was singing?" "No, no" "They can't take that away from me." "You're right." "I was singing." "They can't" "Take that" "Away from me" "We may never" "Never meet again" "Never meet again" "On the" "Bumpy road" "Bumpy road" "To love." "To love." "Lieutenant." "Julian." "Morning." "Ops." "I wonder... should you ask Kira about Shakaar or should I?" "Why don't you do the honors?" "But you'll have to wait." "She's staying on Bajor for two more days." "She and Shakaar must be having a good time." "That'd be my guess." "Poor Odo." "Odo?" "What's he got to do with it?" "Not a thing." "That's the problem." "Have fun." "Thank you, thank you for that kind applause." "Keep clapping." "There's a fly buzzing the room and one of you is bound to nail him." "Why the long face, buddy boy?" "You still haven't told me what I'm supposed to do about Kira and Shakaar." "Shakaar?" "Forget about that fink." "I'll bet he doesn't look half as good in a tux as you do." "What difference does that make?" "You've been coming here every night for a week." "Have I steered you wrong?" "No." "Then you trust your Uncle Vic." "Ladies and gentlemen we have a very special surprise for you tonight." "If this babe doesn't raise your temperature you better check the obituary column because chances are you're in it, pally." "Let's have a nice, warm round of applause for Miss Lola Chrystal." "Never know how much I love you" "Never know how much I care" "When you put your arms around me" "I get a feeling that's so hard to bear" "You give me fever..." "Remind you of anyone?" "When you kiss me" "Fever when you hold me tight" "Fever" "In the morning" "Fever all through the night" "Everybody's" "Got the fever" "That is something" "You all know" "Fever isn't such a new thing" "Fever started long, long ago" "Sun lights up the daytime" "Moon lights up the night" "I light up when you call my name" "'Cause you know I'm gonna treat you right" "You give me fever" "When you kiss me" "Fever, if you live, you learn" "Fever" "Till you sizzle" "What a lovely way to burn" "What a lovely way to burn" "Don't look now, but I think she likes you." "A toast." "As Georgie Jessel once said" ""To whatever makes you happy."" "My thoughts exactly." "I'm going to turn in." "You two lovebirds can live without me, I trust?" "Oh, we'll manage." "You have a beautiful voice." "And you... have beautiful hands." "So I've been told." "They feel good, too." "So do you." "I've been waiting to hold you like this for as long as I can remember." "We just met tonight." "I must have a short memory." "You're funny." "Kind of like Victor Borge?" "How'd you know?" "Ah, I..." "I can't." "I can't do this." "Why not?" "I'm sorry." "It has nothing to do with you." "Vic?" "Vic?" "!" "What's wrong?" "This isn't working." "I thought you two were getting along just fine." "Of course, we are." "You programmed her to find me irresistible." "I could read her a criminal activities report." "She'd think it was poetry." "Do you want me to reprogram her-- make her play hard to get?" "No." "She's nothing like Kira." "Who's Kira?" "Of course, she's not Kira." "She's a hologram." "A what?" "Sweetheart, please, stay out of this." "Do you know how difficult it was for me to get a holographic image of Major Kira?" "Lucky for you, Julian used her image in one of his spy programs-- though it did take me an hour to get rid of the Russian accent." "Look, I appreciate what you've done for me but I'm afraid it's all been in vain." "I may be Romeo in the holosuite but I know the first time I see the real Kira" "I'll turn back into Nanook of the North." "At least you're starting to talk the talk." "No, I was hoping for a bit more than that." "Wait." "Wait a minute." "You can't give up now." "I'm sorry, but I am tired of discussing my feelings with a hologram." "You're a hologram, too?" "Odo... hello." "Major." "Anything interesting happen while I was gone?" "Interesting?" "No, no." "Nothing at all." "As a matter of fact, it's... been rather dull." "I'm sorry to hear that." "Well, I, uh..." "I'd better get back to work." "Hey, doll face." "You asleep?" "How the hell did you get in here?" "I'm performing next door for Dax and Worf." "I'm between sets, so I transferred my matrix from that holosuite to this one." "Now, I don't have much time." "What do you want?" "We have to talk." "About what?" "Odo." "What else?" "Odo." "Come on, Major, don't be coy." "We both know he's nuts about you." "He told you that." "He tells me everything." "We've been spending a lot of time together." "Odo... spending time in a holosuite?" "And loving it." "Uh, I'm sorry." "That's just not the Odo that I know." "Which tells you what?" "You don't know him as well as you think you do." "He's not the same stick-in-the-mud anymore." "That cat can swing." "Are we talking about the same Odo?" "The one and only." "But let me tell you the only chick he wants to swing with is you." "I take it that's a good thing." "It's love, baby." "Nothing better than that." "How did you get in here again?" "Don't try to change the subject." "We're talking about you and Odo." "No, that's what you're talking about." "I'm trying to meditate." "And I don't mean to interrupt." "Good, then leave." "Talk about your cranky aliens." "You two really are made for each other." "Which is why you've got to come to the holosuite tonight." "What for?" "So you and Odo can have dinner together." "If Odo wants to have dinner with me then why doesn't he ask me himself?" "Because I'm asking you for him and neither one of us will take no for an answer." "Well then I... better say yes." "Crazy." "Odo?" "Can you hear me?" "Vic?" "What are you doing on the com line?" "I need to talk to you." "I want you to come to the holosuite tonight." "Why?" "I've done a complete overhaul on the Lola hologram-- or should I say the Kira hologram?" "I'm telling you, Odo you're going to think she's the real thing." "She walks like Kira;" "she talks like Kira." "Really?" "How did you manage to accomplish that?" "I don't have time to explain now." "I'll see you tonight, 9:00" "That's 2100 to you." "I know." "I'll see you then, pally." "I believe you two know each other." "You look lovely." "Thank you." "So do you." "Mademoiselle." "I'll be your server this evening." "I'll try not to spill anything." "To begin, a little Dom Perignon, '55 and some Oysters Rockefeller... to be followed by Caesar salad chateaubriand and cherries jubilee." "This is all very interesting, but, uh... don't you feel a little silly being here in a holosuite?" "A bit." "Let me know when you're ready for the salad." "Bon appetit." "It's French." "An Earth language." "It means "enjoy your meal."" "I didn't know you spoke French." "I don't." "It's something I learned from Vic." "French is, uh... the language of love." "Vic's a fountain of information." "He's certainly a man of many talents." "But... we're really not here to talk about Vic, are we?" "I'm certainly not." "Hmm." "I always wondered what this would be like." "The two of us having dinner together?" "It's certainly not the way I pictured it would be." "It is a bit unusual." "Is something wrong?" "You haven't touched your food." "No, it-it looks delicious." "l-I'm not hungry." "Truth is I'm a little nervous." "You?" "Nervous?" "A bit." "It is our first date, right?" "Right." "Well, there's nothing wrong with being a little nervous as long as it doesn't get in the way." "Of what?" "Of enjoying yourself." "I thought the only thing you enjoy is your work." "How'd you know that?" "You told me yourself." "Well done, Vic." "Vic?" "Never mind." "I do... enjoy my work." "But I'm afraid I've used it as an excuse to avoid the rest of my life." "I know the feeling." "I've got you" "Under my skin" "I've got you" "Deep in the heart of me" "So deep in my heart" "You're really a part of me" "I've got you" "Under my skin..." "It's a pretty song." "It is, isn't it?" "You're sure you're not hungry?" "I'm sure." "What do we do now?" "Only one thing we can do." "Dance with me." "l-I'm not sure I know how to dance to this kind of music." "Just... stay close." "You never can..." "Oh, sorry." "No, that's good." "Use your mentality" "Wake up to reality..." "Whoo!" "And each time I do" "Just the thought of you makes me stop" "Before I begin" "'Cause I've got you..." "I had no idea you could dance." "It's amazing what you can learn in a holosuite." "I can't believe we're having our first date in a holosuite." "'Cause I've got you" "Under my skin." "I understand that you wouldn't be comfortable at Quark's, but I know one or two out-of-the-way restaurants on the station." "Well, I don't think that's possible." "You embarrassed of being seen with me?" "No." "No." "I meant... it would be difficult for you to leave the holosuite." "Why?" "Well, it's complicated." "Complicated to leave a holosuite?" "You make it sound like I'm a hologram." "Aren't you?" "Is that what you think?" "Maybe you'd better tell her." "There's nothing to tell." "I'm good, pally, but I'm not that good." "You been dancing with the real McCoy." "You tricked me!" "And me." "Hey, I brought you two lovebirds together." "That was whole the idea, wasn't it?" "Nerys..." "Kira..." "Major..." "Don't say it." "Computer, end program." "Odo?" "Are you there?" "I have nothing to say to you." "Look, I know you think I sold you down the river." "You lied to me!" "It was for your own good." "It was time for you to stop playing around with holograms and start playing around with the real thing." "You should have told me it was really Kira." "Would you have shown up if I had?" "I don't hear an answer, pally." "If you think about it, there's not much to be mad about." "I saw the way she looked at you while the two of you were dancing." "The lady digs you big time." "She "digs" Shakaar." "I can only imagine what she thinks of me." "I kept insisting she was a hologram." "Odo, listen to me." "No!" "I'm done listening to you!" "Computer, end transmission." "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" "Oh, there's nothing wrong." "Have you ever had a moment of pure clarity-- a moment where the truth seems to just leap up and grab you by the throat?" "I bet this has something to do with your visit with Shakaar." "Oh, this has nothing to do with Shakaar." "Now, tell me, have you ever had a moment like that?" "One or two, but, of course that's over a span of seven lifetimes." "Only two moments of clarity in seven lifetimes?" "Nerys, total clarity is a very rare thing." "I guess so." "And when it comes to you it's important that you act on it because... believe me confusion and doubt will take over before you know it." "You're absolutely right." "Makes perfect sense." "Don't tell me you're having another" ""moment of clarity."" "That's two in two days." "That's amazing." "Odo, wait." "Major, if you don't mind" "I'd like to forget all about last night." "I don't think that's a good idea." "We need to talk about what happened." "Very well, then we can meet in my office in an hour." "No, let's discuss it over dinner." "Dinner?" "Yeah, you can choose the restaurant." "Anywhere but a holosuite." "What about Shakaar?" "Do you think he'll approve?" "Look, I don't care whether he approves or not." "Shakaar and I are friends." "That's all-- friends." "The First Minister asked me to update him on the war with the Dominion." "My visit was strictly business." "Now, are we going to have dinner together or not?" "And if we do, then what?" "I don't know, maybe we could go dancing." "And after that, I suppose you'll expect me to kiss you." "Well, it's possible." "Well then, who needs dinner?" "Why don't I just get it over with and kiss you right now?" "Well, why don't you?" "You're right." "Who needs dinner?" "'Cause I've got you" "Under my skin" "'Cause I've got you" "Under my skin." "Here in Vegas, there's only one way to make sure you don't lose any money." "The moment you step off the plane you walk right into the propellers." "See you in a few minutes, folks." "Odo." "Hey, long time no see." "Well, I've been busy." "So I hear." "Julian tells me you and the Major are quite an item." "Well, for the moment." "Who knows how long it'll last." "That's my Odo-- always ready to turn victory into defeat." "I... wanted to thank you for all your help." "Anytime, pally." "Anytime." "Hey, you feel like sitting in on a number?" "Uh... some other time." "Well, say hi to the Major for me." "Hey, do me a favor." "Leave the program running for a few minutes after you leave." "I feel like singing." "Whatever makes you happy." "Come fly with me" "Come fly, let's fly away" "If you can use some exotic booze" "There's a bar in far Bombay" "It's perfect for a flying honeymoon" "They say" "Come fly with me" "Come fly, let's fly away" "Come fly with me" "Pack up, let's fly away."