"Yashoda once accused baby Krishna of eating dirt." ""Tut, tut you naughty boy..." "you shouldn't do that."" "But he didn't!" "That's what he told her." ""I didn't eat dirt."" "Yashoda said, "No?" "Well then..."" ""Open your mouth."" "So Krishna opened his mouth." "And what do you think Yashoda saw?" "What?" "She saw in Krishna's mouth the whole entire universe." "You're sure, Sir?" "Pi's just a boy." "Do it." "Go ahead!" "No, I want something vegetarian." "She asked if you have something vegetarian." "The cow that produced this liver was vegetarian, the pigs that went into these sausages were vegetarian." "Very funny." "But my wife doesn't eat liver." "Then she can eat the sausage, the rice, and the gravy." "Or you can cook your own food." "How dare you talk to my wife like that?" "Here's your rice." "I cook for sailors... not curry-eaters." "What did you say?" "!" "Let go of me!" "Who do you think you are?" "You're nothing but a servant!" "I feed people!" "You feed monkeys!" "Why are you talking about bananas?" "Are you sure about that?" "Get him some water."