"Coming up next, I want you to give a warm welcome to DJ Phantom!" "I'm really proud of ya, mate." "Great set, Mr. Wonderful." "Thank you, man." "Let's rock this house, Phantom." "That's my boy." "Come on!" "Not now, come on." "No, no, no no." "Oh, shit." "Logan." "Mom!" "No, you can't..." "I was in the middle of a mix." "Is knocking asking for too much?" "I did knock, and so did your father." "Good luck hearing anything over that." "When are you going to stop wasting your time with all these DJ stuff?" "Just so you know, this DJ stuff could make me a lot of money if that's what you're worried about." "Just like my Tupperware parties." "I can make $15,000 a night." "Stanford does not offer a major in DJing." "Is there a reason you're up here, or are you just here to crush all my hopes and dreams?" "Honey, your father wants to know if you were anywhere near his car." "No." "Was Blake?" "Logan." "Stay away from the Porsche or your father will kill you." "He's funny about his car." "I'd like you to keep you room cleaner." "And, you know, I'm noticing these nudey photos." "Is Blake putting those up?" "Yeah, Mom." "It's all Blake." "I used to look like that." "No, no." "No." "No." "Logan, my website needs production value." "You need to lose your virginity." "We need this car." "Dude, don't touch it, don't touch it!" "My dad will kill us." "She's not gonna care if I show up in a Porsche." "Seriously, Blake, fuckin' stop!" "Seriously, dude, fuckin' stop!" "Okay, relax, relax." "Take it easy." "Alright?" "Take a deep breath." "Close your eyes." "Imagine you and Lina in this car." "There's wind blowing through her hair, her hand is on your gearshift, music is blaring through the subwoofers." "I have been making her a mix." "Of course you have!" "And you know why?" "So you can play it for her, in this car." "Tonight!" "We'll show off your badass DJ skills." "Spin her around, play DJ all over her vagina, lil booty action." "No." "Logan, we have been best friends since preschool, OK." "We're two juice box buddies." "I know how big your penis is through your basketball shorts." "I could sketch it like a mugshot." "Have I ever misguided you?" "This is fate." "Don't pussy out now!" "Whoo!" "Yeah, Stephanie." " Hey." " Hey." "What a surprise." "I didn't think you guys were coming." "Hey, you wanna smoke some weed?" "How about some California gold?" " Oh, my God." " That's just for you." "This is awesome." "I got one for you, too." "Whoa, is that Logan?" "Eugene, film this, film this, film this." "Dude, that's not funny!" "That's not funny!" "That's not funny!" "Don't do that." "Dude, dude, mission accomplished." "Mission accomplished!" "Look to your right!" "Logan, where'd you get the Porsche?" "Yeah, the mission was to get Lina to notice you, and she's looking right at you." "She wants you." "Go in there and talk to her!" "Let's go inside." "Go!" "I'm gonna do it." "Tonight's the night." "Yeah." "Alright, watch the car, Blake." "I will not take my eyes off it." "You watch the car, Blake." "Stop talking to me, go talk to her!" "Eugene, did you get that?" " Yes, I got it all." " Yes!" "Drink, drink, drink, drink!" "Yeah!" "Oh, my God, high school parties." "I can't wait for spring break." "It's gonna be so cool." "Please." "To do anything fun, you have to get out of" "United States of Can't Do Anything." "So you and Asher are really gonna go to Puerto Vallarta?" "Yes, and so should you!" "It's going to be so much fun." "Better boys, better booze, better music." "I mean, what is this shit?" "I can't even dance to it." "I know." "Let's get out of here." "Hey!" "What's up?" "Puerto Vallarta, huh?" "That's cool." "It's Mexico, right?" " Have you ever been?" " No." "Oh, my gosh, it is so much fun." "You should totally come with us." "It's gonna be epic." " Really?" " Oh, my God." "Okay, this party officially sucks." "Can we please just get to the college party?" "Ah, yes, please!" "Oh, Logan, would you mind driving us?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I can do that, that's cool." "Oh, my gosh, thank you so much." "You are so sweet." "Gentle, gentle." "Oh, just throw them over, huh?" "Oh, yeah, shots!" "Shots!" "Hey, just, uh, excuse me one second." "Blake." "I told you to watch the car." "I have not taken my eyes off of it." "Just get them off, I'm driving Lina to another party." "Yes!" "Uh, hold this." "Ladies, Eugene, you guys are done." " Andale!" " Just a sec." "Super-virgin coming through!" "Thank you very much, Eugene you're done, get out of here." "I'm so sorry, it was those shrimp tacos." "You know what?" "It's fine, don't worry about it, we'll get another ride." "No, no, this is fine, this is fine." "I can clean this up, I can clean this up real quick..." "It's fine, don't worry about it." " Hey, Josh, can I get a ride?" " Sure, jump in." " Are you going to a frat party?" " Of course." "Bye, thanks anyway, Logan!" "I'll get some paper towels." "I was actually going to give her a ride, in the Porsche." "Let's turn it up." "Dude, if my dad wakes up, he'll kill us." "Jesus, you're a pussy." "You like saying that word too much." "Well, that's because it takes away the power." "Pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy." "♪ I just wanna touch a pussy ♪" "Oh, shit, I gotta back it in." "Pussy, pussy, pussy..." "Oh, fuck." "Dude, this is so not my fault." " What were you thinking?" " I'm sorry." "Damn right you're sorry, because you are grounded." "No spring break." "Mom, no, no, no, Blake and I have been planning this trip for almost a year." "Then you should have thought about that before you stole your father's car!" "The cruise tickets are non-refundable." "I've been saving up a lot of money, we can't let that go to waste." "Well, you're right." "We're not a wasteful family." "We recycle." "Which is why we're going to let you house-sit for a week." "House-sit?" "Where are you two going?" "Listen, your mom wants us to pay you back for those cruise tickets, so uh, here's what's left after the cleaning costs on the Porsche." " Thanks." " You're welcome." "Oh, your mom also thinks that I should give you a chance to earn back my trust." "So have a seat." "Logan, your grandfather was a great man, he was kind and he was honest, and totally trustworthy." "And those qualities so impressed his father that he was given a beautiful Rolex watch." "And when he thought that I demonstrated those qualities, of trust and responsibility, he gave the Rolex to me." "Problem is, I don't think you've demonstrated those qualities at all," "but, the Rolex is at the jeweler's." "It's being cleaned." "I'm not giving it you, I just want you to pick it up." "Really?" "Do you think you could handle that?" "Of course, Dad, yeah." "I can handle it, I promise." "Now, we'll be back Sunday, I don't want" "Blake coming over." "And here is a to-do list." "I want every one of these done." "Uh, Janice, I think that's a bad idea." "Kent, we discussed this, trust exercise." "Logan gets to show us that he can be a responsible young man." " I'm going to miss you." " Okay." "This is really happening?" "Kay, why talk to a closed door?" "You're taking my tickets." "Go inside and start the list." "Take care of that watch." "I can't believe they took our cruise tickets." "Yeah, well, at least they paid us back." "But that was our spring break." "We should be the ones frolicking naked on deck, not your parents." "Need you to sign right here, Logan." "Yes, sir." "Sweet time piece." "1962 Rolex Submariner." "Total chick magnet." "Can you please tell him that no watch is gonna get a girl?" "C'mon." "Why do you think I do this?" "Honey, could you deposit this?" "Okay." " Who's that?" " My girlfriend." " Willy, babe, it's for you." " Excuse me, please." "Put it on." "No." "Just put it on!" "What can it hurt?" "Fine." "I'm putting on the watch." " You happy?" " Oh, yeah." "Lina would love that." "We should go show it to her." "Yeah, let's go all the day down to Puerto Vallarta to show Lina a watch." "Mexico?" "Dude, that's brilliant!" "That's way better than a cruise!" "Puerto Vallarta is a romantic paradise!" "How many years have you been trying to get with Lina, and suddenly this just falls into your lap?" "Dude, we have the funds, Lina practically gave you the invite." "This is fate, my friend." "Fate." "Remember when you said that the other night?" "Look what happened." "That's because fate had something else for you in mind." "Fate had this." "Lina would look amazing in that dusky Mexican light." "Yes!" "Yes!" "I'll book us a package online." "I still have that whole to-do list." "It's a to-do list." "We'll get it done in a couple of hours, tops." "Dude, if we don't do this, we will regret it for the rest of our lives." "♪ Mexico ♪" "♪ Mexico ♪" "♪ Mexico ♪" "♪ Mexico ♪" "♪ Mexico ♪" "♪ It's Mexico ♪" "♪ Mexico ♪" "Whoo!" "Hola mamacitas!" "Can I meet your parents, I just wanna congratulate them!" "Losers." "Oh, my God." "That's your way to break the ice, Romeo?" "Dude, girls love it when you talk dirty." "It's perfect, okay?" "Sex is not polite, it's sloppy, it's dirty." "Yeah, okay, you're an idiot." "Lose the negativity, we're on spring break!" "You should take a little lesson from him." "Okay, that was pretty good." "Okay." "I don't know which one to choose." "Do we just like, pick one at random?" "Hey, guys!" "Hey, are you Logan and Blake?" "Yeah, you are?" "Yeah, we are." "Um, who are you?" "The hotel tell me to pick you up." "C'mon, c'mon!" "You are really special guests, huh?" "Special guests?" "What did you do?" "I got us a really bitchin' tour!" "Come in, come in!" "Come in." "I hooked us up, baby!" "Welcome to Mexico guys!" "Welcome!" "Amigos, my name is Chuy." "Where can I take you?" "Uh, I thought you said the hotel sent you?" "No, not really." "You needed a taxi, no?" "Chuy to the rescue." "How did you know our names?" "Because Chuy knows everything in Puerto Vallarta." " A Fiesta Americana." " Let's go!" "How did you know our names?" "I still don't understand it." "This guy's a Mexican Jedi!" "This is Vallarta!" "Land of the beautiful beaches." "So, what bring you here, amigos?" "I'm here for material for my website." "Ah!" "What about you...?" "He's here for his dream girl." "Her name is Lina." "She's alright." "Lina, heh." "Watch out!" "Oh, shit!" "Look, look!" "Hey, ladies!" "Smile!" "Hey, they my cousin." "Yeah, your fucking cousins my ass." "So, you came to see a girl?" "Yeah, it's a special girl." "Oooh, here we have a lot of special girl, amigo." "Hold on, guys." "We have arrived." " Okay, that will be $50, guy." " $50?" " Yeah." " No way, man." "Okay. $20, huh?" " Okay, fine." " But Chuy made you a deal." "I drive you all week for only..." "$200." " $200?" " Yes." "No, that's too much money." "Not for you, right Mr. Rolex?" "This isn't mine, it's my dad's, I'm just keeping it safe." "No problem, amigos, no problem." "Just remember, you want anything, you ask Chuy, hmm?" "I get for you 24/7." "Anything at all, okay?" "Anything at all." "Call me, call me." "Look at this shit." "This is heaven." "Not bad at all." "What?" "They're everywhere." "Oh, come on, can we at least get our room first?" "Later!" "Welcome to Puerto Vallarta." "Are you ready for the bikini contest?" "Puerto Vallarta, Mexico spring break!" "Let me hear you make some noise!" "Our next contestant, number six." "Oh, my God, look at at that..." "Oh, wow, that is amazing." "Give it up for number seven!" "Oh, yeah, baby, shake it, shake it, shake it!" "Check out those curves!" "Don't worry, we got more girls coming, more girls coming up!" "That's right, now we have contestant number eight!" "Oh, my God, I hate my job." "Final contestant, all the way from Miami Beach, number nine!" "Check her out." "She's smoking!" "Guys, check it out, look up to the balcony!" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God, take it off ladies!" "Because what happens in Mexico, stays in Mexico!" "I'm home, I'm home." "Spring break, let me hear you make some noise!" "Check this out." " Huh?" " Mmm." " Huh?" " Mmm." "And, she's here." "And the Blakejob knows where she's going tonight." "Can you say foam party?" "¿Dónde está foam party?" "We don't have a room." "What?" "How can that be?" "I got us a package online." "Did you?" "Watch and learn, Logan." "Watch and learn." "Excuse me, miss, there must have been some kind of mistake." "This is our e-mail confirmation." "As you can see, Totally Bitchin' Tours doesn't exist." "I believe you've been scammed." "Uh, could you just, uh, double check that for us?" "Checked twice already." "Miss, we are not going anywhere." "So unless you want to cause a scene of thorough unpleasantness..." " God, shrimp food poisoning." " Stop it, stop it." "I'm sorry." "One star Yelp review!" "I suggest you lower your voice." "Well, I suggest that you get somebody to show us to your room!" "Now!" "Or I will vomit!" "You can't throw us out, we're Americans!" "Americano, Americano!" " Oh, God." " Shit." "Fuck." "If we don't do these, we'll regret this for the rest of our lives." "This is fate testing you!" "How can I be so stupid?" "Fuck." "We'll find another hotel, okay?" "How are we going to pay for it?" "Maybe we could stay with Lina?" "Yeah, hi, Lina, I stalked you all the way to Mexico." "I don't have a room, can Blake and I stay with you?" "What else do you wanna do, dude?" "Do you wanna sleep on the beach?" "Fate." "Amigos." "You're in luck!" "Sixto find a great room for you!" "Hey, look, look!" "Washers machine!" "Showers!" "Sauna!" "Hey, prima!" "Hola!" "My cousin, Lupita!" "Hey, don't touch her, okay?" "Come on, come on, guys!" "Hey, welcome to the VIP section!" "C'mon!" "Sorry, guys." "You asleep here, you rest here, for..." "No problem, guys." "No problem, this is my cousin." "Look, look the bed, heh?" "Muy comfortable, heh?" "Come on then, all for only... 100." "100 pesos?" "That's cool." " No, no. $100." " What?" "For this?" "Yeah, yeah, and you also get this!" "Look, Chuy wristband, huh?" "All you can drink, entrance to clubs." "Oh, my God, the best deal in Puerto Vallarta... okay?" "Chuy never lie, never." "The thing is, we're really low on cash." "Oh, no, guys." "Okay, okay, okay, okay guy." "I like you." "So..." "I give you everything for $50." " Done." " Yeah?" " Yeah." " Okay, 50." "And this." " And this what?" " Your shirt." "My shirt?" "He wants my shirt." " Give him the shirt." " He wants my shirt." "That's a shitty shirt anyways, give it to him." "Okay, okay, Chuy." "Great, great, Chuy." "Okay." "Shirt and $50, right?" "Okay, guys." "Enjoy your stay." "Okay, so how exactly do I get Lina to take me to her room, because she's definitely not coming back to ours." "Well, it starts with Jager bombs, and then it starts with bold confidence." "And then you just straight up tell her," " "Let's go back to your place."" " I just tell her?" "Yeah, tell her you're rooming with me, and I've already got plans to take the room." " That's good." " That's great!" " That's fantastic." " Alright." "Whoa." "This is the place?" "Okay, yeah, let's do this." "Holy shit, it looks packed." "You really think these are gonna work?" "We're about to find out!" "C'mon." "Excuse me, excuse me, watch out man." "Move over." "Excuse me, oi!" " Yeah!" " Okay, amigo." "Okay?" "C'mon man, let me in, Chuy's my cousin." "I know Chuy, too, he's my boyfriend." " Now do you believe?" "Fate!" " What?" "I can't believe it worked." "Whoo!" "Chuy, yes!" "Yes!" "Oh, my God." "Behold, the power of the pussy!" "Make some noise!" "Let's go find Lina!" "Mexico!" "Oh, my God." "That's Steve Aoki!" "That's Steve Aoki!" "One, two, three, Aoki jump!" "Viva Vallarta!" "Get a room!" "This is awesome!" "Amazing!" "This is madness!" "Oh, shit!" "I'm sorry!" " That's okay." " Let me buy you a new one." "Open bar." "Nice watch." "Dude, I told you, chicks dig the watch!" "You're a rockstar!" "See?" "Haha, fate!" "Listen to the man!" "We should get some action..." "So many hot guys here!" "Oh, there goes the table!" "Oh, no." "Shit, I wasn't filming that." "Go ask her to do it again." "No." "Is she okay?" "C'mon." "Who's ready for the cake face?" "You?" "You?" "Whoo!" "I got it, thanks." "I got it." "Lina, hi!" " C'mon, I gotcha." " Oh, my head." " Are you okay?" " Let me go, I gotta pee." "What?" "Dude..." "Off with the camera!" "C'mon, look away, she's a lady!" "Stop!" "She's not that much of a lady anymore." "Please, can you not?" " She will appreciate..." " Can you please not?" "Logan?" "You followed me?" "That's so sweet." "Hi, Jose." "Okay, you gotta go." "I go night night, bye bye." "So much for that dusky Mexican light." "We gotta help her." "Thank you, Mexico!" "I love you!" "Hasta la vista!" "Give it up for Steve Aoki!" "Now, get ready for the wet t-shirt contest." "Make some noise, people!" "A toast." "What?" "No, no, Lina." "You're okay, just don't do that." "Come with me, let's get you to bed." " Logan?" " Yeah?" " Let me ask you something." " Okay?" "You know when someone is the one, right?" "Mm-hmm." "And you just can't fight it, you can't fight it, cause you have to be with the one." "Yeah, exactly." "Then why didn't Connor come find me?" "Ah, fuck!" "Ow!" "Ow, fuck!" "Ow, fuck!" "Thank you, man." "Thank you." "Sorry." "I'm sorry, who's Connor?" "I told him that I'd be here, so why didn't he come find me?" "Okay, let's just, I'm sure he just got lost." "It's a big city." "Well, you found me." "Oh, no, you vomited it in my mouth!" "What's wrong with you, who does that?" "What's the matter, dog boy, I thought you were into that kinky shit?" "You vomited into my mouth, what's wrong with you?" " Don't yell at me!" " Don't vomit in my mouth!" "Oh, God!" "She's fine, I'm..." "Sorry, don't cry." "Lina?" "I got one question, and one question only, are you ready to party?" "This is it, we have a bunch of beautiful contestants." "Right now, ready to go." "Here we go, give it up for contestant number four!" "Contestant number four!" "Whoa!" "Oh, she can dance!" "She can dance!" "Look at her go, she's amazing!" "Or maybe not." "I am going to need a cleaning deposit." " She's at the Fiesta." " Twenty?" " Oh, come on..." " I need more." "Okay, okay, Chuy." "Drunk pussy, no pussy man." "And our final contestant from Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, number five!" "Yeah!" "Let's give those jugs some water!" "Oh, I think we're gonna have a winner here, ladies and gentlemen!" "I can't hear you!" "The winner of the wet t-shirt contest..." "spring break, is number five!" "Let me hear you make some noise!" "You want a breath mint?" "Yeah." "Thanks." "Your girlfriend alright?" "She seemed pretty drunk." "She's not my girlfriend." "I love Paul Oakenfold." ""Maybe love is not for me, maybe lovers dream things that I don't dream."" "That's a great song." ""The harder they came, the harder they fall."" " You got that right." " What's that?" "You know what?" "It doesn't matter." "Everything matters." " I'm Logan." " I'm Gaby." "Still want to get me a drink?" "Yeah." "So where you from?" "From here." "Really?" "Your English is really good." "My boyfriend taught me." "Oh, cool, cool." "I'm joking, I don't have a boyfriend." "It's still early, no?" "Nice, this is a great Fredde Le Grand track." "It's really good." "You're really into music." "You a DJ, or what?" "I am, inside my own room." "Outside, not so much." "Well, I know the DJ here." "Would you like to try it?" "No, no, thank you." "Why not?" "I want to hear what you can do." " I do have this one mix." " Where?" "In a USB in my pocket." "But, it's not finished." " Let me see it." " No, seriously, it's not finished." " I have more work to do on it." " Why are you so scared?" "Give it to me." "C'mon!" "Okay, DJ Phantom, don't move." "You really don't have to..." "Dude!" "This is Mona!" "I'm gonna make her a star!" "Hi, Mona." "I've got to go to the bathroom." "Okay..." "She's gonna go to the ladies room!" "That..." "What did I tell you, buddy?" "Paradise!" "Where's Lina?" "She, uh, she had to go back to the hotel." "We're gonna meet up later, it's all good." "Tell me about Mona, dude, who is that?" "She won the wet t-shirt contest!" "I'm proud of you." "I've been fingering her on the dance floor all night!" "Wow." "Yeah, it's when you finger a butt hole!" " You wanna smell?" " No, what?" " You are fuckin' gross, dude." " I know, it's so awesome." "You're not serious though, right?" "No, I'm dead serious." "Now I've got a little poo on your lip." "No, the foam kept it clean, it's fine." "Shut up." "Gaby!" "This is my friend, Blake." "Blake, this is Gaby." "Hi, Gaby." "It's very nice to meet you." "Nice to meet you, too." "What is that?" "To celebrate your club debut." "The DJ is going to play your mix." " Okay, fuego!" " What?" " Oh!" " Whoo!" "Yeah!" " You ready?" " Ready." "Yes?" "One for you, and one for you." "And cheers, DJ Phantom." " To DJ Phantom." " DJ Phantom." "Oh, what is that?" "It is a secret, it gets your blood pumping." "And now, people, we have a new mix from a new DJ, DJ Phantom!" "That's my friend!" "I know him!" "That's me amigo." "I love this song!" "I love it." "Dance with me." "Yeah, Logan!" "DJ Phantom!" "♪ Can't get better than this ♪" "♪ I don't wanna be nowhere else ♪" "♪ I said Can't get better than this ♪" "♪ Can't get better than this ♪" "♪ We don't know where we are ♪" "♪ But we're still dancing on a star ♪" "♪ Now were looking at the bright lights ♪" "♪ But I was still chasing fireflies ♪" "♪ Can't get better than this ♪" "Can't believe they played my music, that's like..." "That's so cool, you're so great." "You're wonderful." "Thank you so much." " No..." " Shh..." "Okay." "I'm coming up." "I'm coming up." "Okay, wait." "I don't know what that means." " It means relax." " Okay." "Come on in." "This is a nice room." " See, relax, okay?" " Okay." "It's okay." "It's just, this is my first time." "Okay, shh." " Whoa." " Okay." "You relaxed now?" " Mm-hmm." " See?" " Ow, ow, ow." " What?" "My hair, my hair, my hair." "Hold on." "My hair." "Hold on." "Logan?" "Logan." "Viva la Mexico." "Nice." "Huh?" "Wha..." "Where are you going, lover boy?" "Jesus." "Oh, my God, it's huge!" "I gotta go." "I'll call you." "Right after I get some therapy." "Good morning." "Sorry, I must have fallen asleep." "I, uh, where are we?" "A motel." "Do you remember?" "No, I do." "Yeah, the motel, last night." "Last night, it was incredible." "So was your mix, DJ Phantom." " Really, you liked it?" " Mm-hmm." "Ah, so, can we go get breakfast?" "We?" "No, we, we're not doing anything." "I have to go, and you owe me $300." "You're messing with me, right?" "No." "No joke." "Now, I need to get going, so can we do this please?" "So, last night, it was just..." " Oh, you didn't like it." " No, I did, it was great." "Good." "Then you won't mind paying me." "Yeah." "Shit, I don't have it." "If you don't pay me, I get in very big trouble, okay?" "Look, I'm going to pay you, I swear, I swear." "You better not be lying to me." "I'll be back, okay?" "Just wait here." "Was it good for you, you know?" "Did she tickle your balls a lil bit?" "She give you a little tickle?" "A little pickle tickle?" "Can you just get the money, dude?" "This is it, man." "After this we are down to our last 200." "I still can't believe she's charging me." "One way or the other, you always gotta pay for the pussy." " So how was it?" " It was amazing." "She was amazing." "No, I want details." "For $300, did you get some oral first, perhaps some anal?" "Did Mona include anal?" "As a matter of fact, yes, but that's between me and Mona, okay?" "I didn't have to pay her." " What happened with Gaby?" " I don't remember." "Dude, seriously, I want details or give me my money back." "Seriously, dude, I don't remember." "Shut the fuck up." "Hey, Mom." "How's the cruise?" "It's interesting." "Never been on a naked cruise before, young man." "Naked cruise?" "Yes." "Butts, penises, and boobs, everywhere." "Oh, my God, Mom, I am so sorry." "I had no idea, Blake booked the tickets." "Jan, you gotta use sunscreen Jan, you're gonna burn your booty!" "Is Blake at the house?" "No, he's not at the house, because we're out." "Hey, you and Dad aren't naked, are you?" " Not yet." " They're naked." "Your dad wants to make sure you got his watch." "Yeah, yeah, I got it right..." "When did men start shaving their penises?" " I got it right here." " Are you doing that?" "Um, so don't worry about that or anything, enjoy your naked time, I gotta go!" " Logan?" " Fuck, fuck, fuck!" " Logan, honey?" " Dude, what are you doing?" "Gaby, hey, sorry it took so long, I've got your money." "Gaby?" "Gaby, no." "Gaby." "Shit." "Shit, fuck." "Fucking goddamn it." "No." "Logan, what is happening?" "Dude, she's not here." "She's not here." "Shit." "Well, sweet, we just saved $300!" " No, and neither is the watch!" " What?" "What happened to the watch, Logan?" "What do you mean, where's the watch?" "Shit, shit." "What happened to the watch?" "Dude, she took it." "We gotta find her." "Well, how in the hell are we gonna do that?" "I don't fucking know!" "I can't even remember last night!" "We gotta find her, fuck!" "Why the fuck did you make me wear that thing?" "I didn't make you..." "You looked good with it." "Why did you lose it?" "Thank God." "Here comes the cavalry." "Chuy, man, you could save us." "Chuy, you're a beautiful little Mexican man." " Hey!" " I love you!" "We're looking for the girl from last night." "She stole his Rolex." " Yeah, she..." " His Rolex." " Yeah?" " She stole my watch here." " Really?" " I need that watch, dude." " Okay, who?" " Her." " Her name's Gaby." " Beautiful girl, yeah." "She's pretty." "She's also a thief." " I find her." " What?" " I find her." " Really?" " Yeah!" "Chuy knows everyone!" " See?" "I told you." "Yeah, you were right." "Thank you Chuy, thank you." "Okay, but I'll need a cash." "For expenses." " How much?" " $50." "Okay?" " Fifty...?" " Yeah." "No, no, Chuy." "Chuy, no." " Twenty." "Twenty." " Okay, 20." "And your shirt." "Are you sure she's in here?" "Yeah." "The guys who owns this place is a pendejo." "This is what I call a strip club!" "Focus, we're here for the watch." "I'm focused." "I'm so focused." "Hey, my cousin!" "C'mon." "El Guapo!" "He will take care of us." "Come on." " My cousin." " Hi." "These are my cousins from the Uniteds." "Ah!" "Sit down, please, welcome." "♪ I feel like I know ya ♪" "♪ Am I crazy?" "♪" "♪ Feel like I touched you, baby ♪" "♪ I've seen those eyes ♪" "♪ I've seen those eyes ♪" "♪ I've heard those lies ♪" "♪ I've heard those lies ♪" "♪ I feel like I kissed you slowly ♪" "♪ Your love ♪" "♪ Burns ♪" "♪ Your love ♪" "♪ Burns ♪" "Hey, wait, wait." "Listen, listen, El Guapo will bring her." "Stick to the plan." "Move over there." "Okay?" "Where's my watch?" "I waited for over an hour." "I got your $300, so there." "Now where's my watch?" "I don't have it anymore." "What?" "Why not, where is it?" " You need to go." " No, not until I get my watch." " I think you need to go." " Gaby, no, seriously." "You need to go now." "Please." "Hey, hey, hey." "Hands off the merchandise." " So, what happens here?" " She stole my watch." " Get him." " I don't need to..." "Get him, all of them in the back, right now." "I don't need to go to the back." " Shut up." " I just need my watch back." "Okay, man." "I'm walking." "Dude, this is so fucked up." "Are they gonna kill us man?" "I've seen this shit on the news." " I don't know man..." " Now what's all this about?" " A watch?" " She stole my Rolex." "It's silver with a black face." "It's a part of my family." "That's my..." "Jesus, that's my watch!" "Okay." " This?" " Yeah, that's my watch." "Did you give it to him?" "Are you calling me a thief?" "No, sir." "The thing is, it belonged to my dad, and his dad before that, and it's really important to him, and to me." "Do I know you?" "You are lucky today, because I'm going to give you this watch." "Yes, yes, thank you, thank you, so much, seriously." "For only $5,000." "What?" "No, no, I don't have $5,000." "Come on, my friend, I'm giving you a real deal." "It has to be worth twice than that." "Panic!" "I don't like your friend." "Okay, okay!" "Okay, so this is a limited time offer." "24 hours." "No cash, no watch." " $5,000 in 24 hours." " Yes." "How the fuck are we gonna..." "You prefer $24,000 in five hours?" "No, $5,000 in 24 hours sounds... that's awesome." " Good." " I'll see you in 24 hours." "No more work for you tonight." "Get the fuck out." "Get out!" "Fucking B-rate movie pimp wannabe." "We gotta go to the cops." "No cops." "He has many friends in the cops." "Great." "I gotta get that watch back, dude." "I can't go home without it." "Well, when I sell the Blakejob we'll buy Kent a new one." "Think I can buy his trust back, too?" "Hey!" "Why are you here, Gaby?" "Come here for the rest of my belongings?" "Want my shoes, my jeans?" "Do you want my shirt?" "I got more stuff at the hotel." "Listen, I'm really, really sorry." "I had no choice." "Sure you did." "You chose to rob me." "I was just keeping it for collateral but then Dorian saw it and he took it." "I'm really, really sorry, okay?" "I'll do anything to help you get it back." "Who the hell is this guy anyways?" "His real name is Igor Aganovich." "But everyone calls him Dorian." "Hate that pendejo." "Fuckin' Russian doesn't run this town." "So, Chuy help you." "We do this together like, brothers." "No charge." "Together, okay?" "Okay, cousin?" "Fuck yeah, Chuy." "So how do we make five grand in 24 hours?" "I know a way you could get it in 20 minutes." "But it may offend your delicate American ways." "Delicate?" "Bro, I'm in!" "What the fuck?" "I can't watch this, man, this is brutal." "I know dude, but it's our last chance to get the watch back." "It's either them, or you." "Fuck." "We haven't won once." "Don't worry." "You bet the same color five times in a row, next one guaranteed winner." "Put it all on red." "Rojo." "This is fucked up." "Don't be scared." "You're gonna be alright." "Yeah." "Everything's gonna be alright." "We're putting it all on green." "What?" "You crazy?" "No, no, no." "Put it all on red." "Dude, Chuy's right, bro." "Green is 20-1." "2-to-1 odds on red." "You won't win a lot but it's a start." "No, we're going with Greenie." "Are you sure?" "Do it, Chuy." "Okay." " Get him, Greenie!" " C'mon, Greenie!" "Come on!" "C'mon, he's not even..." "Fuck this." "Where is he going?" "Excuse me, excuse me." "Hey, wake up, man." "Wake up." "C'mon, wake up, this bird needs you, do something!" "C'mon man, seriously, I need this." "C'mon, c'mon, c'mon." "C'mon, Chuy." "Time out!" "Time out, time out!" "What do we do?" "Take the bird." "Take the bird!" "Drink." "Drink." "Spit!" "Yeah, c'mon, dude!" "Yeah!" "Dude!" "You're the cock whisperer!" "I'm the Cock Whisperer!" "Gracias amigo!" "Gracias!" "Go get the cab running." "I'll be there in two minutes." " Get it ready to go." " What?" "Why?" "Go get it running." "I love you Cock Whisperer!" "Let's get out of here, c'mon." "Go, birds." "Come on, come on." "Oh, shit!" "Fuck you!" "Fuck you!" "Let's go, let's go!" "Drive, Chuy, drive!" "Logan, did you do?" "!" "What the fuck were you doing, dude?" "I had to do the right thing!" "DJ Phantom..." "Did he just say..?" "Is it..." "It's your mix, they're playing your mix!" " How?" " I don't know." "Maybe you left your music at the club?" "My friend hosts this radio show." " That's awesome, dude!" " Yeah, yeah, it is!" "You should consider the Blakejob for all of your representation." "In fact, I think I could do something for you, I can paint you..." "We need to call Dorian to get my watch back." "Hello." "It's Panic." "I've got the money, all of it." "I want my watch back tonight." "Slow down, cowboy." "Meet me tomorrow at Punta de Mita Beach Club at noon." "And don't be late." "Punta de Mita Beach Club, tomorrow at noon." "Now, I feel much better." "Spray the..." "We have arrived." "Okay." "Every time, every time." "I have to go to bathroom." " Uh, meet you by the pool?" " Okay." "Yeah, I'm, uh, pretty tired, so..." "And another soldier falls to the power of the pussy." "Stop, nothing's gonna happen." "Wait, do you think it might?" "Seriously?" "That's your problem." "You're too serious." "Chuy, show me the sights, man, we've got some money!" "Blake, only a little bit." "Don't spend all that money!" "Hey, Logan." "Um, about last night." "I'm really sorry." "You were drunk, it was nothing." "No, it's not." "You boys were really nice to me, and I appreciate that." "So, lemme know how I can make it up to you." "I know." "Buy me a drink?" "Well, I can't now." "I'm actually meeting Ashley." "Of course." "Of course." "Yeah, alright." "How about a drink tomorrow night then?" "I..." "I really like you, Logan." "I think you're a super great guy, so I have to be honest with you." "I'm in my crazy wild phase right now, and I just want to experience life, you know." "There's just nothing experienced about you." "You know, so, I'm not saying no, I'm just saying, not now." "Hola!" "Who's this?" "Who's who?" "Uh, Lina, Gaby." "Gaby, this is Lina." "Well, forget the skinny gringita cause I've found a friend for our threesome." " Threesome?" " Threesome?" "Si, Si." "She's muy caliente, huh?" "So c'mon." "Yeah." " Hey, Logan..." " Yeah..." "Club Strana tomorrow night?" " Come on, come on." "Let's go." " Sure, yeah, that'd be great!" "Okay, bye." "See, she's totally into you now." "I can't believe that worked." "Are you ready for our threesome?" "I'm messing with you." " Good night, Logan." " Wait, don't go." "What, afraid Lina won't see us together?" "I just like talking to ya." "My parents would kill me if they found out I was here." "Mine would kill me if they knew I was a stripper." "How do you keep them from finding out?" "Easy." "They're both gone." "Oh, I'm sorry." "Whoa..." "What?" "What happened to your parents?" "My dad was a gringo tourist, got my mom pregnant." "He was a salesman, my mom was an English teacher." "By the time I was born, he was gone." "Then, when I was ten, my mom died." "So my grandpa took care of me until he got sick." "But, I didn't know how to pay the hospital bills, and Dorian saw me dancing and offered me a loan and a job." "You are an incredible dancer." "I thought that's all I'd be doing, dancing." "But then clients kept asking for more, and Dorian just doesn't take no for an answer." "I had no choice." "But then an older girl took me in and showed me a trick." "It's called Rohypnol, it's a pill that puts clients to sleep." "You... you roofied me." "Wait, but why?" "I never would have tried anything..." "I know that... now." " You have to quit." " I will, I will." "I took a second job at a hotel, and I'm going to go back to school, and make my grandpa proud of me." "But, first I have to pay Dorian back or then he'll own me forever." "At the club, why'd you choose me?" "They teach you to look for certain things." "Like a super expensive watch." "Si." "Logan..." "My real name is Jessica." "Nice to meet you, Jessica." "You too." "♪ When I was young I would stand alone ♪" "♪ With visions of worlds that were all my own ♪" "♪ All my life I've been a star ♪" "It is always a special place for me." "I've never brought anyone here." "♪ Of all the waves in your atmosphere ♪" "♪ All my life I've been a star ♪" "C'mon!" "Hurry up!" "I'm coming!" "♪ Of all the waves in your atmosphere ♪" "♪ Of all the waves in your atmosphere ♪" "Details, details." "I want to know everything, okay?" "Okay." "You're out of your fuckin' mind." "C'mon." "Why aren't you answering me, Logan?" "We're going to get the watch, alright?" "Hey, look, look, look!" "Whoo!" "Look, look..." "Look at all those girls!" "Hey, I told you!" "I thought this was a business meeting." "This is how we do business here." "Is that where we're going?" "Chuy, you're a fucking madman!" "Let's go." "Thanks, guys." "It's pussy paradise!" "Hey, guys." "You look thirsty." " Wow." " Okay." "Can you tell us where Dorian is?" " He's up there." " Great, thanks." "Catch you later." "Dude, c'mon." "What?" "She's so into me, you didn't see that?" " Yeah." " She was flushed in the face." " Sure, dude." " She was like getting sweaty and shit." "That's Chris Lake!" " Dude!" " That's Chris Lake!" " What?" "Hey!" " Yeah!" "What are you doing with my dog?" "He likes me." "Can we do this?" "Let's go." "Follow me." "Dude, what the..." "Oh, my head." "Oh, I need a hospital." "Why are we naked?" "Dude, there's makeup all over your body." "There's makeup all over your body." "What the fuck happened?" "Where's your watch?" "Here it is, $5,000." "This calls for drink!" "Let's toast to a new beginning!" "What the fuck?" "Oh, fuck." "Fuck." "Oh, shit." "I think you need to close the door." " Where is it?" " I got it, I got it." "Oh, fuck." "Hello?" " Panic?" " You're a fucking asshole." "What happened to new beginnings and all that bullshit?" "This is, my friend, the new beginning for you of a very long jail sentence for you." "And take good care of the car, huh?" "It belongs to the mayor of Puerto Vallarta." " The mayor's car?" " The mayor's car?" "This is bad!" " This is the mayor's car?" " Very bad." "Here comes the best part." "The car has just been reported as stolen!" "It's stolen?" "Shit!" "We're in a stolen car!" "We gotta find the keys." "Pass the keys, move over Juanito, move over!" "Our dicks are touching!" "Our dicks are touching!" "Get out of here!" "Chuy, drive!" "Drive!" "We're going to jail!" "We're going to jail!" "Drive!" "Holy shit!" "Motorcycles in action are huge in international markets!" "How about getting ass raped in Mexican prison?" "Oh, shit!" "Oh, shit!" " Oh, my God!" " We lost one!" "We lost one!" "We have a motorcycle on our ass!" "Chuy, not now!" "Drive, drive, drive!" "Go!" "Shit!" "Lose 'em, Chuy, I don't wanna go to jail!" "This is not a street!" "Wrong way, wrong way, Chuy!" "Whoo!" "This is awesome!" "Oh, shit!" "There's no way out!" "Oh, shit!" "No, we can't drive here, there's people, Chuy!" "Cover your faces, cover your faces!" "Cover!" "Logan, I love you, if we don't survive this!" "That was amazing!" "Chuy, you're the man!" "Still one behind us!" "What?" "You're freaking me out, man!" "What are you doing?" "Confessing my sins, in case we die!" "Confess?" "Okay, uh, I think I slept with a she-male!" "She had a penis, a really big penis, it was bigger than mine." "What?" "I didn't even sleep with Gaby!" "She roofied me, I'm still a virgin!" " Don't kill me!" " A virgin?" "I slept with a dude!" "Chuy, there's a gate!" "Oh, shit!" "Chuy, right behind us!" "I think we lost 'em!" "Stop, stop, stop!" "We're going to jail." " Oh, my God." " We're going to jail." "Never." "Shit, Chuy!" "Chuy, where are we going?" "Wait, wait, wait..." "Fuck you!" "Epic, bro!" "Yeah, epic, except we've got no clothes, no money, and no fucking watch." "Dude, at least we're not in jail!" "And let's keep it that way!" " Yeah!" " Let's go!" "Look." "When we get back, we'll find out where Dorian lives, and then we'll wait til he's asleep and we'll steal the watch back." "I'm being serious dude, why not?" "Stop!" "Stop helping!" "You know, none of this would ever have happened if you just manned up with Lina in the first place." "What?" "None of this would have happened if I manned up?" "How about none of this would have happened if you weren't such a selfish douchebag?" "Selfish?" "Dude, I did all of this just so you could get with Lina!" "No, you did all of this for your fucking website, man!" "You've been shooting the whole fucking time!" "This trip?" "Material for your website." "My dad's fucking Porsche?" "Material for your fucking website, dude!" "You don't give a shit about me." "How can you say that?" "Cause you fucking used me, man." "Fuck you." "Fuck me, man?" "I just want to get the watch, get home, and we're done." "Then we're done." "Hey!" "Boys, what's up?" "C'mon, let's go." "Here." "C'mon, man." "Fuck it." "We're supposed to be on vacation, Logan." "Nice ass, Logan." "It's chalky white." "I'm gonna enjoy the view." "Get a nice tan on my dick." "What happened?" "Long story." "C'mon, I'll tell ya inside." "Keep it flowing." "Let's face it, fucking outplayed us." "No, he didn't." "You tried to play fair, but Dorian does not play fair." "You have to stop fucking around and take this to the next level." "Si." "And how do we do that?" "C'mon, Sammy!" "Come on, Sammy!" "Be careful, Sammy." "Very good, very good, Sammy." "Good dog, good, obedient." "Good, Sammy." "Good dog." "What?" "Sammy, Sammy, where are you?" "Have you seen my dog?" "A little dog?" "Boston Terrier, a small dog, very ugly?" "It's okay, boy." "Power of the pussy." "It never fails." "Yeah, never." "Gotta get this Chiquita back to my cousin." "See you around at the club." "Yeah, c'mon." "See you, see you." "Later, dickhead!" " We have the package." " Okay." "Sammy!" "Gaby, what do you want now?" "I'm busy." "What's the matter?" "Lose something?" "You fucking bitch, you're gonna pay for this!" "If you want to see Sammy, you bring the watch and the cash to Sky Club, tonight." "Fucking bitch!" " Hey." " Hey." "Dickhead." "Douchebag." "Are we cool?" "Cause I need you." "On three?" "One, two, three." " I'm sorry." " Fuck you, you need me." "You're such an asshole, you're such an asshole." "Alright, bring it in." "Bring it in." "Can you say sorry?" "I love you, man." "I'm sorry." "Thank you." "Man, I love you so much." "I miss you." "This feels good." "Here are your towels." " Ah, that's cool." " Yeah." "We're cool." "We're good, right?" "I just wanted the one, man, but that's cool." "Have fun." " What do you mean?" " No, we're..." "Not trying to have that kind of fun." "The towels aren't..." "He thinks we're gonna fuck." "Aren't we gonna have makeup sex?" "♪ It's the same old scene ♪" "♪ You've been stuck at the screen for a lifetime ♪" "♪ You keep your mind sharp and clean ♪" "♪ With a fix of caffeine for the night time ♪" "♪ You're a black room boy ♪" " The dog!" " First the watch." "What about the cash?" "Going home now, boy." " It was a pleasure." " Not so fast." "The thing, my friend, I really fucking hate to lose." "Yeah, I thought you'd feel that way." "Chuy." "Cousins!" "What?" "What the fuck is going on here?" "What is this?" "Sammy, Sammy!" "Come here!" "Go and get him, go!" "Fucking pair of idiots." "Okay, so maybe..." "I'm all done." "Gaby, come with me." "What are you doing?" "You owe me, right?" "And I will pay you, but my way, not yours." "Ha!" "And how are you fucking going to do it?" "By working double shifts in the fucking hotel for four dollars and hour plus tips?" "You will never make enough money." "You will be always in my debt." "Forever." "How much does she owe you?" "How much?" "She owes me more money than you can ever dream, then you can ever imagine, then you can ever..." " $10,892." " Plus interests, my love." "Well, we got $5,000 here." "And its close to another $1,000 right there." "But my friend, it's not enough." "You're almost there, but yet, nothing." "So, enjoy your vacation, alone." "Yes." "I'll give you the watch." "No, no, no, you can't, you can't." "Dude, after all we've been through?" "Wait, wait, what's going on here?" "Why are you talking, the guy with the fucking tie?" "Shut up." "You said it yourself." "The watch is worth a lot more." "Yes." "And you're lucky, cause I like your dog." "So I'll cut you a deal." "I'll give you this watch to clear Jessica's name." "Deal done." "After all, you've been very lucky that I didn't kill you." "You know why?" "Your daddy will do it for me." "Hasta la vista, my friend!" "Tony!" "Let's go." "You crazy, stupid, gringo." " What did you do?" " I had to." "Chuy... thank you, man." "For everything." "Nah, nah, man, nah." " Thank you, man." " Thank you." "And thank God." "You're one badass Mexican, Chuy!" "And you are some crazy Juanitos!" "Let's go party, you crazy Mexicans!" "It's just a watch, right?" "Right?" "Thank you." "Put your hands together, make some noise for Adrian Lux!" "Oh, shit!" "Lina!" "Um, just give me a second." "Hey!" "I've been looking for you." "Yeah, about that, listen." "Everything you said about me, it's true." "I'm not crazy, I'm not wild, or experienced." "I'm in love." "I see." "But if you're looking for wild and crazy..." " Friends?" " Friends." "See you on the dance floor." " Everything okay?" " Yes." "Puerto Vallarta, give it up for Adrian Lux." "He rocked the house tonight." "DJ Phantom is in the house!" "And he's going to play his powerful mix, just for you guys." "No, I can't." "Yeah, you guys!" "Are you ready?" "Maybe, maybe, you, Logan can't." "But, hold on." "DJ Phantom can." "Adrian Lux, meet Jessica, and DJ Phantom." "Good friends of mine." "Good luck, dude." "Thank you, great mix." "Here." "It's all yours, man, good luck." "You're a rockstar!" "Whoo!" "Shit, shit, c'mon, no." "Not now, come on." "Show us what you can do!" "Relax, you can do this." "Turn that shit up!" "♪ Your love is a perfect song ♪" "Take it, Blake!" "Work it!" "♪ Your love is a perfect song ♪" "♪ Your love is a perfect song ♪" "It's been the best trip of my life." "I can't believe I'm leaving today." "I have to go." "Jessica, what?" "I can't do this." " Jessica, hey, hey, hey." " It's too painful." "What's wrong?" "What happened?" "I don't know what that means." "Please, don't go." "Jessica, Jessica." "Come on, no!" "Please!" "Jessica!" "What does that mean?" "It's a very common story in Vallarta, amigos." "The Mexican girl who falls in love with the gringo tourist." "And then, hearts are broken." "Ooh, ouch, that hurt." "C'mon, I'll help ya." "I need help, I'm stuck." "I know, and I'm going to lift you." "Light as a feather." "Thank you, bring them up here." "Bring them on up, thank you." " Hey!" " Hey, Logan, what's with the door?" "I don't know, it was working fine for me." " I'm gonna check the garage." " Nice to see you, too, Dad." "Hey, so, sorry about the whole, naked cruise." "How was it?" "It started out strange, but it turned out to be okay." " Okay." " So how about you?" " Did you uh..." " Did the whole list." "Oh, see, honey, I knew we could trust you." "Yeah." "What's different?" "You look handsome." "Everything okay?" "Oh, it's nothing, just a little sunburn on my ass." "Logan?" "Logan!" "Yeah?" "Yeah, I'm coming." "Oh, shit." "Hey, what's up?" "Well, Logan, the car looks good." " Clean as a whistle." " Yeah, I didn't touch it." "Did a good job on your to-do list." "Mowed the lawn." "Put the garbage cans back." "I noticed you're not wearing my watch." "You didn't scratch it, did ya?" "No, I didn't scratch it." "Tell me you didn't scratch my watch." " I didn't scratch your watch." " Thank God." " I lost it." " You lost it?" "You lost the Rolex?" "Yes, and I'm gonna do whatever I can to make it up to you." "You didn't lose a Rolex, you lost your grandfather's Rolex." "I know, I know." "I can't tell ya how bad it makes me feel." "I can tell ya how bad it makes me feel." "Like I can't trust you." "And you're supposed to be running off to college." "About college..." "I'd like to take a year off." "Pursue my music, go abroad, see things for myself like you did." "Me?" "Dad, Mom told me you took a year off before college to travel Europe." "She said she never would have met you if she hadn't." "And then where would you be?" "Where would I be?" "Logan... you didn't lose your grandfather's watch." " I didn't?" " No." "I lost your grandfather's Rolex." "You lost the replacement." "Wow." "I had no idea." "Feels like shit, doesn't it?" "It feels like shit." "I'm sorry." "And I'm sorry." "A year abroad, huh?" "Yeah." " What's her name?" " Whose name?" "The girl you're in love with." "What's her name?" " Jessica." " She hot?" "Whoo..." "Thank you Mexico, thank you Puerto Vallarta." "Now, coming up is a DJ I've been working with." "Please welcome, Phantom!" "♪ I had this dream ♪" "♪ It's like I'm falling ♪" "Thank you, man." " It's alright, buddy." " Thank you." "You're welcome." "Good luck." "♪ I could still be drowning in your eyes ♪" "♪ The water's deep I can't control this ♪" "♪ My heartbeat rushes ♪" "Surprise." "♪ I'm alive ♪" "♪ I need your smile ♪" "♪ I can't stop thinking about us ♪" "♪ Our love is a perfect song ♪" "♪ I can't escape ♪" "♪ I can't deny this ♪" "What are you doing here?" "I finally found out what that means." "♪ I need your smile ♪" "♪ I can't stop thinking about us ♪" "♪ Our love is a perfect ♪" "♪ Our love is a perfect song ♪" "♪ Our love is a perfect song ♪" "♪ Our love is a perfect ♪" "♪ Our love is a perfect ♪" "♪ Our love is a perfect song ♪" "Let's see what Blake is up to." "Oh, my God!" " What the fuck?" " Look at that ass!" " This is supposed to be private!" " I don't do this to you!" " Yes, you do." "Okay, fine." "But I'm going to get you back." "Don't stop." "You can continue." "This is bullshit." " Everything okay?" " Oh, Blake was right." "Your privates are the first thing to get toasted." "Oh, no, Mom!" "I'm your son!" "Put that, put that away, no." "What is happening here?" "Where is my watch?" "What the fuck is this?" "Fuck!" "Fuck!" "Sir, we're looking for Gabriella." "There's been a mistake, you are not the Gabriella we're looking..." " Ow!" " Oh, yeah!" "Who takes photos here?" "Run!" "Uh-huh, uh-huh..." "Shit!" "Bring back some weed." "Across international borders?" "Stick up your butt or something." "Trick or treat bitches!" "How sick is this?" "I'm a robot." "Stop!" "Dude, are you kidding me?" "Hurry up, princess!" "I gotta do my hair, dude." "I think you're ready!" "Oh, you piece of..." "Yeah!" "Whoo!" "Oh, dude!" "What are you doing jerking off in my parents' bedroom?" "Why you walking in without knocking?" "My mom's fitness videos?" "Really?" "Dude, get your dick away from me dude, seriously!" "Stop it!" "Did you just fart?" " Are you kidding me, dude?" " One... two..." " Are we done?" " Yeah, we're done." " Pussy." " Douchebag." "Viva la Mexico?" "See ya, bitch."