" Hey, fella." " Huh?" "You thinking of jumping?" " Why, what's it to you?" " Nothing." " You got any cash?" " Huh?" "It's not gonna do you any good down there." "Oh, for..." "Much obliged." "Nice watch." "Thank you." "You have a nice day." "Hey, fella, it's none of my business, but you really picked a lousy spot." " What are you talking about?" " There's too much traffic." "You jump here, a car could swerve, cause an accident, hurt some people." "You'd never forgive yourself." "Oh, I guess you're right." "Thank you." "Where would be a good spot?" "There's an on-ramp over there." "I bet it'd be perfect." "I'll show you if you'd like." "Oh, you're very kind." "See?" "Isn't this better?" "Much better." "Thanks again for your help." "My pleasure." "Hey, you mind if I watch?" "I never saw anyone do this before." "If it bothers you, just say so." " I don't mind." " Great." "I'll just stay over here." "Give you a little privacy." " Excuse me." " What?" "I got some other things to do today, if you're gonna be awhile." "No no no no." "I mean, I could go, and I could come back." "There's no need for that." "I can't do it." "I cannot do it!" "Oh, hell, who needs this?" "Wait wait, look, I have no place to stay." "No place to go." "I'll need some money." "Hey, what am I, the Salvation Army?" "You need money, go get a job and earn it." "Come on, I'll buy you a drink." "So why'd you want to end it all?" " Nothing to live for." " You had a hard life?" "Not always." "This time last year I had $10 million." "Oh yeah, sure." "I did." "I had everything." "I had a beautiful home in Beverly Hills." "Beautiful wife and a beautiful mistress." "A beautiful dog." "Most beautiful of all, I had a son, Michael." "He just graduated from college and was traveling through Europe." "And I had a lot of good friends." "Aram, you already got that full house?" "It'll cost you 10 to find out." "I'm out!" "Me too." "Aram, I will... see your 10 and raise you 10." " Oh, be still my heart." " I fold." "Now let us see." "He needs a straight to beat what's showing, but three eights were already out." "Now does he have the necessary eight of spades?" "Well, it'll cost you 10 to find out." "Come on, come on." "Wait, I have to do this logically." "Will you notice Harry is looking me straight in the eye?" "For 20 years, whenever he looked anybody in the eye, forget it, he was bluffing." "When he really had the goods, he just looked down at his hand." "But a couple of months ago, he must have figured I was onto him because he reversed himself, and ooh, it worked." "He did pretty good for a couple of weeks." "But last week I realized what was going on, and I took him for a bundle." "So this week, he has probably reversed himself again, which should mean he does not have the necessary eight of spades." "Would you please put your money where your logic is?" "All right, all right, all right." "10 and I raise you 10." "I will see your 10 and 20 more." "I could be wrong, but a man has to do what a man has to do." " Did you say 20?" " 20." "20 and I will raise you 30." "Ooh, Harry, the price of poker just went up." "I will see your 30, and I will raise you... one, two, three, four, five... 50!" "I am going to raise you 100." "100, 100, damn!" "I love it." "I love it." "I love it." "This could go on all night." "How could you be sure he didn't have the eight of spades?" "He could have been pulling a double reverse." "He might have had it." "That would have made two of us." "You bastard, you." "Oh, what a night." "Good jokes, good pastrami, I made a bundle." "And ooh, to top it off, I got to humiliate one of my closest friends." "It doesn't get better than this." "I had a thriving business." "A business I built up from nothing, that I was very proud of." "I had a dozen stores, but I treated each as if it were the only one." "Come in." "Sir, what can I do for you?" "Mr. Katourian, you're on another inspection tour, I see." "No no, Mr. Macrae." "I don't inspect." "I spy." "I spy on box boys, butchers, checkers." "What I spy with my little eye," "I do not like, Mr. Macrae." " Problem?" " Yes, a problem." "A problem with the supervision of this supermarket." "Do you follow baseball, Mr. Macrae?" " A little." " Strike one." "I asked a clerk in the vegetable section," ""Where are the fresh chick-peas?"" "Without looking up, he said, "Three aisles over to your left."" "In a Katourian market, when a customer asks the location of an item, what should happen?" "The employee should personally take the customer to the desired item." "I tell the staff regularly" " that it's their job..." " Strike two." "I had to wait behind five customers at the checkout counter." "At a Katourian checkout counter, what happens when three or more customers form a line?" "Another counter is opened." "The vegetables arrived late this morning." " I told the staff..." " How are eggs bagged, Mr. Macrae?" "Always on top of the bag, of course." "Staff knows that." "Otherwise, they get broken." "Would you find the eggs in that bag, please?" "Strike three." "Mr. Katourian..." "Mr. Macrae I do not procure the finest organically grown eggs from the finest organically grown chickens so that my customers can find an organically grown mess at the bottom of their shopping bags." "Go ahead." " Yes." " Is Mr. Katourian there?" "Yes, he's here." " Hello." " Aram." " Oh, yes, Millie." " Michael called." " Oh, he did, Michael called?" " I just talked to him." " Where from?" " The airport." "The airport here in LA?" "He's home?" " Yes." " Tell him to wait there, I'll get him." " No, he's taking a taxi." " He's okay?" "He sounds all right?" " He's fine." " Good, I'll be right home." "Macrae, keep up the good work." "Yes, sir." " Good disguise, huh?" " One of your best." "Oh, Michael, oh!" "There he is!" "Hey, wave at the camera." "Wave at the camera!" " Face the camera." " Dad!" "Hi, Dad!" " Hi, Dad!" " Still going, still going." "There we go." "It's so good to see you, son." "Hey, this is Bob." "Dad, Mom..." "Bob." "Do me a favor." "Could you hold that camera there?" "Get on that side." "Here we go." "Point it at us." "That's it." "Up a little, I think." "Can you see all three?" "Okay." "There we go." "Wonder if Michael gave any thought to a career while he was away." "Why didn't you ask him?" "I didn't want to pressure him." "You know, first night home." "I didn't want him to feel like he's gotta get up tomorrow and start looking for a job." "Very important decision what a young man does with his life." "I don't wanna push him." "Yes, sir." "Again, the pool." "He was there when I went to work this morning." "He didn't spend all day lying there, did he?" "No, he had a friend over and they played some tennis." "Tennis, good." "It's funny." "I can't understand it." "I mean, it's been 10 days." "When I was his age, I had three jobs." "I was taking a night course in business administration, knocking myself out trying to get somewhere in the world." "You should talk to him." "You never talk to him." "Hey, this has to come from him." "If he wants to try to make something of himself, it has to be because he wanted to do it." "And he will." "That I know." "You want him to be like you, Aram?" "No, I don't want him to be like me." "I just don't want him to be like him." "Hey." " Hey!" " Hey, Dad, how you doing?" "Fine fine." "How are you doing?" " Great." " Good." " Good party last night?" " That was the night before." "Went to a concert last night with my friend Linda." " Oh, Linda." "Rock concert, right." " Yeah." "Party was okay." "Concert was a little disappointing." "That's too bad." "And a baseball game tonight." "No no, change of plans." "Some friends are going to The Comedy Store." " They asked me to go." " Busy busy busy." " Yeah." " Yeah." " Dad, what time is it?" " 6:00" "I think I'll go in and take a nap for an hour before I get dressed." "Kinda sleepy." "Got to bed late last night, huh?" "Yeah, then Shaggy woke me up at 6:00 in the morning." "I couldn't get back to sleep." "Yeah, he always barks when I'm driving away." " I'll try to keep him quiet." " Thanks, Dad." "Price check on four, please." "Young man, could you tell me which melon is the ripest?" "I think you'll find this is the sweet one." "The texture is nice and rough, and you can even hear a little liquid." " It should be just right." " Thank you." "You do your job very well." "Well, thank you, Mr. Katourian." " I should have worn the false eyebrows." " No, I saw you rearranging the tomatoes when you thought no one was looking." "I'd heard stories about you." "I put two and two together." " What's your name?" " Steve Harrison." "Steve, you're a very bright young man, Steve." "I think maybe you're ready to handle a more responsible position." " The Northridge branch..." " That's very kind of you." "But I'm leaving next week." "I'm going back to school." "I just took a semester off to earn some money." " What are you studying?" " Architecture." "Oh, architecture, that's a wonderful field." "Well, I'm sure you'll succeed at whatever you do." " Thank you." " Good luck, Steve." "I'll bet your parents are very proud of you." "I hope so." "Price check from produce, please." "What's he doing?" "Michael?" "He's by the pool." "What could be going on in the boy's head?" "He's been out of college for six months." "There's not been one word about a job." "What's he wanna be, a bum all his life?" "I have to speak to him, don't I?" "Yes, Aram, you really should." "God, it's so hard." "We get along so well, and I am terrified of spoiling that." "God, I love that boy so much, Millie." "He loves you too, and he won't stop loving you just because you tell him how you feel." "Probably." " Thank you so much." " Good night." "Dad, you would have been proud the way I got it out of that sand-trap." " Why get in the sand?" " It was there." " This is great, huh?" " Mmm-hmm." "Mom was gonna have an early supper before she joined her bridge group." "I said, "Oh, no." "No no no, Michael and I, thank you, are gonna eat out."" "We'll have a real boys' night out, huh?" " Right." " Yeah." "This reminds me of that commercial." "I know you've seen it." "I think it's a beer commercial." "Anyhow, the father and son, they're sitting at a table in a restaurant like this, and they're celebrating something." "Yeah, like, the son got a great new job." "He passed the bar exam." "It was something like that." "It had a nice warm feeling to it, you know?" "And they were eating these big thick juicy steaks, and they were each holding a mug of beer." " Hi, can I get you something to drink?" " I'll have a Heineken." "I'll have a pina colada." "Okay." "Your mother asked me the other day, do I know anything about your plans for a career." " Oh, yeah?" " Mothers mothers mothers." "They always gotta worry about something, don't they?" "I said, "Hey, Millie, he's gonna make his own mind up in his own time, and then he will go out and he will do it." "And there is no need to even discuss it."" "That's what I told her." "I told her." "One thing I do want you to know, though." "Whatever you do decide on, I am behind it 100%." " Thanks, Dad." " Here you go." " Thank you." " You're welcome." "I'm not one of those fathers that says," ""Hey, you have to follow in my footsteps," or any of that." "Whatever you want to do, you know?" "You want to be, a what, a lawyer, a stockbroker, a deep sea diver?" "Okay, whatever." "That is what I want for you." "You're your own man." "I was wondering about one thing, though, and that is if you were leaning in any particular direction." "I know you've given this a lot of thought, and if maybe you might have narrowed it down a little, like business as opposed to a profession." " No, not really." " Not really, no." "Well, I just wanted to get a general idea, you know, or like, medicine, let's say." "You know, a veterinarian or a psychoanalyst, a surgeon." " Anything like that?" " Nothing like that." "Do you remember in biology when I had to dissect a frog?" "I threw up right in the middle of the class." "It could be that you're just not cut out for the healing arts." "I don't think so." "Ever give any thought to law?" "Oh, what a magnificent profession." "I don't know." "I hate the idea of taking sides." " Advertising, advertising." " Advertising?" "Your Uncle Sam has a lot of agency contacts." "I'm sure he'd be glad to help you get started." "Getting people to buy things they don't want, don't need and can't afford?" "I couldn't live with myself." "After that I spent a few days near Lake Balaton." "It's in Hungary." "It's truly magnificent." "You should go when you have a chance." "That sounds very nice." " Let's see, 15% of $52." " About eight bucks." "Accounting." "You were always good at math." "Not really." "Only compared to my other grades." "Besides, being cooped up in an office all day helping rich people cheat on their taxes..." "Well, maybe you'd rather work outdoors." "There's nothing wrong with that." "A lot of our people are still in the wine business around Fresno." "Nah, just doesn't interest me." "Come on, Michael." "Now there has to be something in this world that you want to do, something." "I guess I'm doing it." "Yeah yeah." " Still awake?" " Yeah yeah, I'm up." "I'm up." "Good." "I have to talk a little bit more." "These past months, see, I was assuming that you were trying to figure out what sort of career you wanted to pursue, which was fine by me." "You take all the time you need." "It never occurred to me that you might be considering no career at all." "I mean, that's hard for me to take in." "I can't conceive of life without work." "I have to work." "Dad, I guess if you have to, you have to." "Well, it's not just a matter of having to work, you see?" "The fact that I started with nothing and through hard work was able to achieve what I have, can you imagine what a satisfaction, what a joy that is to me?" "Sure." "Someday I want you to feel that joy, too." "How can I?" " What do you mean?" " Thanks to you," "I'm starting with everything." "Dad." "The light." "Uh-huh." "Yes, okay." "Well, we've just gotten the initial reports on the over-the-counter dealings in New York." " What happened?" " Well, do you remember when you first approached my firm about handling the initial public offering of Katourian stock?" "I told you then I thought that the first day it was listed it would rise a little, close around 41, 411/8." " Yes." " Well, I'm afraid I was wrong." "It just closed at 443/8." "443/8." "Mr. Katourian, on the shares you hold, you made a profit today" " of approximately..." " Never mind approximately." "That's $2,231,250." "You're very good with numbers." "Not numbers, just dollars." "Come here, Mark." "Stuart told me that you were a very bright young man." "Now if you don't mind my asking, how did you get started in your profession?" "Was your father in finance?" " No no, he wasn't." " Ah, what did he do?" "What did he do?" "Well, my father was a thief and a drunk." "And when I was 10, he ran out on my mother and me and left us without a cent." "You have no idea how lucky you are." " Hello, Millie." " Hi." "You're late." "Hurry and change." "We have the arthritis benefit tonight." "Oh, no, we have to go?" "I'm on the committee." "You're on the committee." "Okay, dear, okay." "Everything all right?" "Yes, fine." "Oh, fine." "We made a public offering of our stock today." "It sold out in one hour." "I made over $2 million." "Isn't that nice?" "Do you like these?" "Yeah, they're lovely." "Yeah, they're lovely." "Hey, didn't we go to an arthritis benefit just last week?" "No, that was multiple sclerosis." "Rodney Dangerfield entertained, remember?" "I thought Rodney Dangerfield was leukemia." "No no, Barry Manilow was leukemia." "I could have sworn that Rodney Dangerfield was leukemia." "Last year Rodney Dangerfield was leukemia." "This year he's multiple sclerosis." "What is it?" "Is it Michael?" "No, not just that." "I was thinking of something else." "Like what?" "Well, like, you remember when we were first married, living in that dingy little apartment in Hollywood, huh?" " Oh yeah." " You remember that I worked at my uncle's dried-fruit stand during the day, and I sold insurance at night, trying to get ahead" " and make ends meet." " I remember." "You worked very hard." "When I would sell a policy, and I'd make, what, $70, $80, do you remember how we would celebrate?" "Huh, huh?" "I'd call you up, and I would say, "Hey, don't cook."" "I'd pick up Chinese food at that little joint on Western Avenue." "I'd bring it home, and we'd lie down on the living room floor, watch "Bewitched" on television and we'd eat the Chinese food." "Then we'd make love." "Oh, God, do you remember how good that $70 or $80 made us feel?" "I remember." "Today, I made $2 million." "And when I told you about it, you said, "Isn't that nice?"" "Well, I was busy getting ready." "I think it's wonderful what you did with the stock thing." " The stock thing." " We're late." "I'm not criticizing your reaction, Millie." "God, it's perfectly natural." ""Isn't that nice?"" "It's not even nice." "It's just numbers." "You know, numbers in a bank account." "That $70, $80." "That really meant something." "A pair of shoes, a new dress." "Down payment on a refrigerator, huh?" "Oh, God, the $70, $80." "That wasn't nice." "That was wonderful." "And that made Millie proud of me, you know?" " Made her want me." " Want you?" "You know the last time that Millie and I made love?" "I don't think I was there." "I probably would have remembered." "Four months ago." "We've done it maybe 12 times in the last two years." "And even then, it's like a ceremony, you know?" "Just going through the motions." "God, Irene, I wish I could tell you how good Millie used to be at sex." " Even better than you." " Oh, that good?" "Aram, you really think your money has anything to do with Millie's sex drive?" "Absolutely." "You've heard the phrase "Power is an aphrodisiac."" "It applies to marriages, especially." "A poor man has tremendous power over his wife." "She needs him." "Without his support, her, the kids, they're gonna starve." "She humps the hell out of him." "The richer a man is, the less his wife is dependent upon him, the less power he has over her, and the less sexy he becomes to her." "It's a law of nature." "Horniness equals dependence times poverty squared." "Oh, God." "When I'd bring that $70, $80 home, Irene," "I was so happy." "I mean, I knew what I was working for." "I knew what I wanted to get." "Aram, you wanted to get where you are now." "Yeah yeah." "I wanted to get where I am now." "I struggled to get there and it was a noble, worthwhile struggle." "Now I'm there." "I'm there, but all I can think of is how good that Chinese food used to taste." "You see what I mean?" "My life was screwed up." "My son's life, screwed up." "My relationship with my wife, screwed up." "Everything screwed up because of my money." "Yes, I see your problem." "Boy, I wish I had it." "Why make more money?" "Money was my enemy." "Manager to register four, please." "The answer was obvious." "Everything?" "You wanna liquidate everything?" "Sell the entire business." "All my shares, everything." "Why?" "You love this business." "I didn't think you'd retire if you lived to be 100." " I'm not retiring." " Are you sick?" " I've never felt more alive." " Well, why?" "I have my reasons, Stuart." "I want everything sold within in one week." "A week?" "No, can't be done." "You try and unload all those shares that fast, the bottom will fall out." "Just sell for whatever price you can get." " It's all going to charities anyway." " Charities?" "And, Stuart, not one word to anybody." "Those are my instructions." "Just sell everything and one week from today, I want to see a cashier's check on my desk." " It won't be your desk anymore." " Exactly." " Michael." " Dad." " Yeah." " You're up late." " Are you okay?" " Yeah, fine." "Nice party?" "Yeah, okay." "That's good." "I was just standing here thinking about your great-grandfather Albar." "I wish you had known him." " Me too." " Yeah." "He was about your age when he left his village in Turkey." "Everybody thought he was crazy." "They said those rumors of what's happening to other Armenians in the other villages, that couldn't possibly be true." "No no." "Murdering an entire people?" "Oh, that's impossible." "That man knew that in this world anything is possible." "Every situation is different." "A man has to size up each individual situation and then act accordingly, right?" "And no matter what anybody else thinks." "He took his wife and his two small children and he got out." "One month later, that village didn't even exist." "Smart fella." "Yeah." "Well, he liked to think things through." "If he hadn't, you and I wouldn't be here." "A man has to think things through for himself." "Right." "Well, this man is thinking he ought to get some sleep." "Gotta get up early." "Tennis date at 11:00." "Oh, yeah, well, you sleep well, my son." " I love you, Michael." " I love you, Dad." " And they love you, too." " And I love them." "Good night." "Oh, Albar, you saved this family's life." "I'll save its soul." "Most of the money I gave to various charities." "Some I decided to dispose of in a more personal manner." "It's for you." "You were that guy who came around here giving away that money?" " Yeah." " I know people who got some of that." " That was you?" " Yeah." " You gave it all away?" " Yeah." " You asshole." " Yeah." "I think most people would agree with you." "Now I can't believe that I did it, but at that time, it certainly seemed logical." " Every last cent?" " Every last cent." "Aram, that's the most insane thing I've ever heard." " Just to force your kid to get a job?" " Oh yeah." "Couldn't you just kick him out of the house?" "No!" "He knows his father would never let him starve." "Took away his incentive." "I'm restoring that incentive." "Couldn't you have stashed your money in a bank and not told him?" "Well, yeah, but... the truth is I'm not doing it just for Michael." "See, I've got other reasons." "I'm bored." "The greatest pleasure in life is becoming a success." "Being a success is crap compared to it." "I'm giving myself a chance to do that twice in a lifetime." "I see, and how's Millie supposed to react when you come home tonight, you throw your arms up and say, "Honey, I'm home." "We're poor!"" "Don't you think you maybe should have consulted her?" "Yeah, but I couldn't, you see?" "I want Michael to think that I've lost all my money." "If I tell that to Millie, she's gonna give it away because she's a lousy liar." " Oh, then it serves her right." " But I did it for her, too." " She's the third reason." " Ah, Katourian's law." "By making Millie a pauper, you're restoring her to a rich and full sex life." " Exactly." " I hope she's properly grateful." "It's not just the sex." "Before we were rich, Millie's life had purpose." "Just as my money ruined my son, it ruined her too." "I'm giving Millie back a reason for living, a sense of importance." "By making her a pauper?" "Oh, come on." "Millie's gonna be okay." "She won't starve to death as long as I'm around." "Aram, what if you're not around?" "What if something should happen to you while you're between fortunes?" "You think I didn't think of that?" "I prepaid my insurance premiums for the next 10 years." "I think of everything." "It's the deed to the condo." "Aram, you didn't have to do this." "Yes, I did." "I won't be able to afford the rent anymore." "May be a while before I can bring the sort of gifts I used to." "May I still come and see you?" "Aram, yes, of course you can still come see me." "Thank you." " Have a good day." " Thanks." "You too." "Michael, would you come downstairs, please?" " Hello, Millie." " Hello, Aram." "Would you sit down?" "We have to talk." " What is it?" " Let's wait till Michael gets here." "Hey, Dad, what's up?" "Michael, sit down." "I, uh..." "I've some bad news, very bad news." " Oh my God." "Somebody died." " No." " You sure nobody died?" " Nobody died." "Well, is somebody gonna die?" "Everybody's gonna die." "Please, Millie, let me tell you what happened." "Now..." "I made some very bad investments lately, and I lost a lot of money." "So much money that I've had to sell everything in order to cover those losses." "In short, this family is penniless." "We have nothing." " Nothing?" " Nothing." "The entire business that took you 20 years to build, you lost it all?" " Yeah, everything." " God, you must feel horrible." "All of the stores, they're all gone?" "Yeah, all." " Our stocks, our government bonds?" " I had to sell 'em." " We still have the house?" " We never owned the house." "The company bought the house and leased it to us for tax purposes." "I no longer run the company." "We no longer can live in this house." " The cars?" " Same thing." "The furniture?" "The furniture is ours, yes, and our clothes, but that's all." "That's all." " What about the paintings?" " No." "Not my jewelry." "The company bought those things as investments." "They were only ours to use." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "Hey hey, we got our health." "We got each other." "We'll get by." "Millie, Millie." "I know you don't think so right now, dear, but believe me, this may be the best thing that ever happened to us, and I mean it." "For three separate reasons." "First, did you see what happened down there?" "Did you see Michael take over that situation?" ""We'll get by." That's what he said." ""We'll get by." It's making a man of him." "And second, you don't know what this is doing for me." "I feel invigorated by the challenge, you know, rejuvenated." "I feel like I'm being given a second chance at life." " What's the third reason?" " I forget." "Now don't you worry." "You know that I'm gonna look after you," " no matter what happens." " Oh, Aram, what's gonna happen to us?" "Oh no, we'll be fine." "Darling, you'll be fine." "You'll be... fine." "Aram, where are we going?" "You'll see." "You'll see." "Are we getting near?" "Yeah, very soon." "All right, we're almost there." " Millie, get ready to close your eyes." " What?" "Just get ready to close your eyes." "It's gonna be a surprise." " Okay." " Don't open them." "Keep them closed." "Michael, pay the cab, would you?" "Okay." "Okay, be careful." "Step on out." "Now close 'em." "All right, up the curb." "Okay." "Wait a minute." "Okay." "All right, just keep 'em closed." "Almost, okay." "Now you can open 'em." "Huh, you see?" "Huh?" "You recognize it?" "Michael, this is the building your mother and I lived in when we first got married." "Millie, you're not gonna believe this." "Our old apartment was vacant." "It's gonna be just like coming home again." "Come on, come on." "We had some happy times here, huh, Millie, huh?" "Yes." "Somehow it seems smaller than I remember." "Five minus that..." "833." "Okay, now I didn't get as much as I wanted for the rest of the furniture, but after paying the movers one month's rent, we have a grand total of $833." "We're still ahead." "Now, Millie, Michael, come here a sec." "Would you?" "I've made a detailed budget here." "I figure that we need $372 a week for necessities." " You see?" " Yeah, I used to pay that for a belt." " Yes, I know." " On sale." "You will again soon, I promise you." "But in the meantime, our objective is just to make $372 per week." "Dad, I got..." " I got a..." "I got a problem." " Uh-huh." "You see, it's a little problem." "Joey and I have this date to take these two women out to dinner tonight, and I don't have any money." "Yeah, well, as I was saying, Michael, right now all our money has to go for necessities." "We're poor." "I know, but I made the date when we were rich." "You know what?" "Never mind." "Sorry, excuse me, Shag." "I'll ask Joey to lend me some money." "No, hey, Michael, we do not borrow." "12 friends tried to help us." "I refused every one of 'em." " Aram..." " Excuse me, Millie, please." "This family will get by through its own efforts, son." " Hmm?" " You're right." "Hey, Michael." "Last time." "As long as there's food on that table, you can eat it." "As long as we have a roof, you can sleep under it." "But anything you want or need more than that, you supply the money, okay, understood?" "Understood." "There's Joey." "I'll see you later." "Bye, Mom." "Have a good time and don't forget your key." "Millie, that dinner was delicious." "It was just delicious." "And I was afraid you'd forgotten how to cook." "I know." "Isn't it wonderful?" "After all these years, I haven't forgotten how to cook or sweep floors or wash windows or do laundry or scrub toilets." "Isn't it wonderful?" "I'm sorry." "It must be very hard for you." "And that's another thing I haven't forgotten how to do... bitch." "What?" "You making breakfast in the kitchen, me going out to look for a job and having no idea how to pay next month's rent... life is an adventure again." "I feel 20 years old." "I wish I could feel 20 years old." "You'll always be 20 years old." " You do like me without the mustache?" " Very much." " I missed your nostrils." " I think it's important." "I want to look as young as possible when I'm applying for jobs." " Michael up yet?" " No, I haven't seen him." "Get up, Michael." "Michael." " Hey." "Michael." " What's the matter?" "Sorry." "I'm on the way to the employment agency." "I thought maybe you'd like to go with me." "Huh?" "Oh, yeah yeah, right." "I really got to bed late." "Why don't you go alone?" "I'll go later this afternoon." "Well, the thing is with an employment agency, it's better to get there early in the morning." "Get first crack at those new jobs." " Afternoon's not so good." " Yeah yeah, you're right." "That makes sense." "I'd better wait till tomorrow." "Hey, good luck." " Michael." " Yeah." "The other day when I said that we weren't rich anymore, you put your arm around me and you said, "We'll get by."" "What exactly did you mean by that?" "I meant you'll find a way to make us rich again." "Okay, Mr. Katourian, age?" "59... 5." "55." "Previous job experience?" "When I was younger, I did everything." "I sold insurance, drove trucks, did dishes, you name it." "What was your most recent employment?" "Actually, chairman of the board of a company." "We don't get a lot of calls for that." "No, of course not." "Chairman of the board." "I'll take anything you got." "I'm just looking for work." "Approximate earnings last year." "Oh, tough one." "What with stock dividends and bonuses..." "Ballpark figure." "Ballpark... three mil." "Well, 3.2." "Obviously, I'm not expecting to earn anywhere near that much." "That does make it easier." "Hey, man, do me a favor." "Don't have such a nice day." "Minimum wage, of course, but it paid for supper." "Oh, the other interview I had, that is very promising." "This fella is starting an express delivery service downtown, like in Manhattan, you know, on bicycles, so you can get through the traffic fast." "Salary plus a dollar a delivery and tips." "Anyhow, with that, plus three, four nights a week at the car wash, and then on Saturdays, a shoe store." "They need extra help." "With those three jobs, plus what you're gonna bring in, I think we can meet expenses each week," " put a little away for the business." " What business?" "I don't know, but it'll be good." "Just like I came up with the health food supermarkets 20 years ago." "I'll come up with right idea, and I will make it a reality." "Why not the food business?" "You already know it." "Exactly, I know it and I've done it." "That's no challenge, dear." "Michael, give me a cookie, please." "Thanks." "Hey, Dad, going through what you did," "I mean losing everything like that, yet refusing to be beat, hanging tough... well, I just think you're terrific." "You're terrific too, Michael." "You just haven't had a chance to find out how terrific you are." "I don't know." "Your drive, your determination," " I don't seem to have any of that." " Oh, you have it." "It's in our blood." "Trust me." "Okay, well, I guess I'd better get to bed early if I'm gonna be the first one at that employment office tomorrow." " Good night, Dad." " Good night." " Good night, Mom." " Good night." "And you were worried about him." "I was so proud of Michael that night." "Excuse me a second." "I think I see lunch." " Do you need any help?" " No, I'm fine." "Maybe you could help me." "I haven't eaten in two days." " Could you spare a little change?" " Sorry, no." "Oh, no wonder." "Don't ever stand near me when I'm begging." "Why?" "A guy sees one bum, he feels compassion." "He sees two, he figures it's a social problem," " let the government take care of it." " Oh, sorry." "So go on." "Michael was going to the employment office." "Oh, yeah, I couldn't wait to see what happened." "He's coming, Millie." "He's coming." " Hi Dad." "Hi Mom." " Hi." "Hey there." "How did it go today at the employment agency?" "It was fine." "I'm in kind of a hurry, though." " I got a date." " Wait a minute." "Did you hear that, Millie." "Michael has money for a date." " Did you get a job?" " Mmm-hmm." "Oh God, that's wonderful." "You spend the money you earn, 'cause you deserve it." "What kind of job?" "Well, it was kind of an office..." "That's past tense, "was." You did get a job?" " Yeah." " You showed up?" "You started to work?" "Yeah, I started work, and then I quit." " You quit?" " Well, Dad, the boss was a real jerk." "Well, of course he was a jerk." "All bosses are jerks." "Hopefully, someday you'll become a jerk." "What did he do?" "Well, he kept ordering me around." "Do this, do that." "It was demeaning." "It was insulting." "Oh, how long did you suffer these demeaning insults?" "I don't know." "20 minutes, half-hour." "But it's okay." "I figured out another way to make some money." "Another job?" "No, I don't want to go through that again." "I found this secondhand clothing store." "I took in a bunch of my clothes." "I got over $100." "Oh!" "No!" "Hello." "Hey, Joey, how you doing?" "Nah, I don't feel like going to a movie tonight." "I'm just gonna stay around the house." "I do love Woody Allen." "I just don't love him tonight." "Okay, I'll see you later." "You'd like to see that movie, wouldn't you?" "Yeah." "Movies cost money, don't they?" "Yeah." "You're all out of money, aren't you?" "Oh yeah." "I guess if you want those things that you like, you'll have to get a job and earn some money, won't you?" "There's gotta be a better way." "No, Michael, no, there is no better way, period." "That's the way the world is." "The way the world has always been." "Man must work." "Can't be right, Dad." "The human race has gotten along for hundreds of thousands of years without work." "If a guy needed food, he went out and he hunted." "If he needed shelter, okay, he built one." "That was it." "The rest of his time, he did what he felt like." "Chased girls or he drew pictures of animals in caves." "He had no concept of work." "Do you know that even today in some African tribes, and even in the Eskimo language," " no such word as work?" " What do you know from Eskimos?" "Well, in college, I took this course in anthropology." " So?" " So you know how work got started?" "One day this really big guy went up to this little guy and said," ""Hey, buddy, I got a proposition for ya." "From now on, you do all my hunting for me." "You do all my fishing for me." "You clean up my cave for me and you do whatever else I tell you to do, okay?"" "The little guy said, "Well, gee, I don't know." "What do I get out of it?"" "And the big guy said, "If you do all these things for me," "I won't bash your head in with this rock."" "And the little guy said, "That sounds pretty good to me."" "And boom, that's how work got started." "And then one day, the little guy's girlfriend went to him and said, "Honey, why are you doing all this stuff?"" "He didn't want to seem like a wimp." "So he said, "Because it's good." "Work is a noble thing for man to do."" "And that's how the work ethic got started." "Yes, work is a noble thing." "It is the most noble thing in the world." " Dad, that's your opinion." " Who would disagree?" " Socrates, for one." " Socrates?" "Socrates." "In his day, work was for slaves." "For inferior beings who did all the menial tasks so that the superior Greeks would be free to pursue art and philosophy and statecraft." "All through Europe, up to the 20th century, if work was so noble, how come you never saw any of the nobility doing it, hmm?" "What is with these Eskimos and superior Greeks?" "This is the United States." "And this is today." "People think differently, Michael." "Not everybody." "You can't change the world you live in, Michael." "And everybody knows that work is good for man." "Like everybody in your grandfather's village knew that they were safe from the Turks?" "Are you sure you don't want to be a lawyer?" "Here you go." "Good luck." "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Hey, wanna go around it and not through it?" "I'm sorry." "Hey, man, come on." "Get out of the way!" "Trying to get through." "Oh my God." "Are you okay?" "Oh yeah." "Oh yeah." " Oh yeah." "Oh yeah." " Are you sure?" "Long as I don't have to sit down for the next 20 years," "I'll be okay." "I'm fine." "I'll be all right." "It's like somebody used a pineapple as a probe." "Pillow pillow, put the pillow down." "Put the pillow down." "Put the pillow down." "That's it." "That's it." "You are not going back to that job." "No, it's just I did too many miles the first day." "My body will adjust." "Make me a drink." "Until the pain set in, I really enjoyed the day." "It was nice riding out there in the open air, and the people going by, all the activity." "The trees passing by." "Heck of a lot nicer than that damned exercycle." "You know, sitting there looking at nothing but reruns on the... television." " Oh oh oh!" "That's it!" " What is it?" "That is it." "Michael, come on out here, would you?" "Hurry up, quick." "This is the new business that I'm going into." "Here, listen to this idea." "Video bicycle tours." "We make videos of what a biker would see while he was riding through London or Rome, the French countryside, whatever, you name it." "We sell those videos to the people that own the exercycles." "They go home." "They put it into their set and instead of boring exercise, every workout becomes a holiday." " Do enough people own these exercycles?" " There must be millions." "Wait a minute." "We could develop a luxury exercycle." "You know, with the TV set built right on it." "Two, three of 'em." "Yeah, different points of view." "Left, right and center." "Sensational." "You could go around the world without ever leaving your bedroom." "Sunday we'll take the camera, we'll go to the park" " and we'll try it out on my bike, huh?" " Okay, sounds great." "One problem, I don't think you'd use your video camera on the bike." "The picture would get wobbly." "I know how to fix it." " Why don't you let me handle it?" " Well, thank you, Michael." "As a matter of fact, a buddy of mine is in film school." "He could probably loan us some of his equipment." " I'll go check it out." " Yeah." " Help me up." "Help me up." " All right." "Yes!" " Shut up!" " Okay, help me down." "Are you ready?" "I am ready." "Okay, come ahead when you're ready." "Go ahead." "Looking good." "That's beautiful." " Millie, your son is a genius." " Hey, I just provided a little technical assistance, Dad." "You have come up with a terrific idea." "This thing could work." "Of course it could work, but I'll tell you what's really great." "It takes hardly any capital." "We start out making the videos, we sell them to the video stores, then later we expand" " into the exercycles with TVs attached." " Sound great." "Yeah, there's only one problem, though." "I mean, merchandising is a cinch." "It's just I've got to find someone to take care of the production of the videos themselves." "Someone who has a certain technical knowledge about filmmaking, and, of course, someone who wouldn't mind traveling all over the world to those exciting and exotic locations." "You wouldn't have any idea where I might find such a someone, would you, Michael?" "It does sound like fun." "Yeah, and it also sounds like earning a bundle of money." " No, sounds like fun." " Earn a bundle." " Less filling." " Tastes great." ""Katourian  Son," right?" ""Travel Videos."" "Let's celebrate, huh?" "Movie and a dinner sound good?" "Oh, sounds wonderful, but I promised the neighbor" "I'd babysit." "You guys go." " Okay." " I'll go grab a sweater." "We'll see that Woody Allen movie, then we'll come back and pick you up for dinner." "Now, you remember the Blue Pagoda?" " Oh, I remember." " A couple of weeks ago I took a walk." "I wanted to see if it was still there, and it is, and I promised myself we wouldn't go until we had a real reason to celebrate." "I can't think of a better occasion." "Thank you." "Well, we have about a half hour to kill before the movie starts." "Okay, why don't we go..." "Oh." " Let's do a little window-shopping." " Good." "We can look at things we'll be able to afford again." " We can get Mom a little something." " Why not?" "Would you like to try it, sir?" "Please feel free." "Oh, thank you." "Wonderful idea, isn't it?" "So simple." "It's amazing nobody ever thought of it before." "How long has this been in the market?" "Just last month." " Is it doing well?" " Incredibly." "A new health club just ordered 20 yesterday." "That is rough." "Oh." "It's amazing, the waste that goes on in this world." " Oh my..." " You want some?" "No, thank you." "So what happened after the bicycle video thing fell through?" "It was a rough time." "What happened?" "Well, you showed up about half an hour ago after six weeks without a word." "We sat down on the couch, you kissed my neck, you put your hand inside my blouse and you fondled my right breast for about three seconds," " then fell asleep." " I'm sorry." "Oh, don't be." "It was very pleasant while it lasted." "Don't be upset, 'cause it's not your fault." "Same thing happened with Millie the other night." "Well, a wife expects that sort of thing." " I don't seem to have any energy." " It's so strange, Aram." "You're just working 18 hours a day at three different jobs." " You know you can't go on like this." " Well, it's only for a short while, just until I get enough money" " to start the business." " What business?" "I don't know... yet, but I'm gonna get an idea." "It's gonna be better than that damn bicycle thing." "And when I do, I'm gonna need capital, so until then it's important that I, you know, keep on... keep..." " Killing yourself." " Exactly." "Add in workmen's compensations." "Okay, how does that come out?" "The expenses are 316 a month more than the income." " What's in the bank?" " A little under 400." "Well, that'll get us by for a month." "By then I should find another job." "Don't be crazy, Aram." "The doctor said you need six months, and he knows what he's talking about." "He doesn't know me." "I've already stood up long enough to take a pee." "That's wonderful, but I don't think it pays very well." "I will do what I have to do." "No, Mom's right." "If I don't find work, Michael," " we'll be out in the street in a month." " No, we won't." "Dad, don't worry about a thing." "Everything is gonna be great." "Let me handle it." "Finally, all you had to do to get your son off his ass was to break your own." "Ha, if I'd known, I would have done it months earlier." "Mom, would you get our best glasses?" "I'd like to make a little toast." " What's going on?" " I have great news, Dad." "Hey, that's champagne." "Did you get a job?" "Our money worries are over." "Oh, Millie, our son the breadwinner." " Oh, I'm so proud of you." " I'd like you to take a look at this." "Oh my God, you got a paycheck already?" "$200,000..." "What is this, some joke?" "Oh no, no joke." "It's very real." " Who's this Linda Talbot?" " You met her." "She used to come over to the house sometimes, play tennis." " Oh, I remember." "The blonde girl." " Why should she..." " It's a gift, Dad." " A gift?" "$200,000?" " She's rich." " Well, good." "If she were poor" " this could break her." " No, she's really rich." "Her father was GK Talbot, the tire manufacturer." "You remember, he and his wife died in that plane crash a couple of years ago." "Linda was left with everything." "Over $300 million." "And she just decided to give you 200,000?" "Well, it's an engagement gift." "Oh, Michael." "Like Linda said, you can't expect someone in her position to just go out and marry a pauper." "Okay, she wanted me to have the money so I'd feel independent." "God, she's really terrific." "When you're feeling a little better, we'll have dinner so you could get to know her." " Michael, do you really love her?" " Yeah, Mom, I really do." "We hadn't planned on getting married for a couple of years, but now it seems to make sense." "Tomorrow morning I'm gonna start looking for a new place for you guys." " Maybe a condo and a car." " Oh, Aram." "And Dad, Linda says whatever business you wanna get started, she will back you financially." "You see?" "Everything's gonna be great again." "When he first walked in I thought you had a job." "Are you kidding?" "I'll never have to work as long as I live." "Oh, yeah, good." "So far you've lived off your father, now you can live off your wife." "Dad, come on." "Money is money." "If it's there, why not enjoy it?" "He's a bum." "Millie, our son is a bum." " Aram." " He's a bum." "He's a bum!" "Is everybody who doesn't work a bum?" "Is Prince Charles a bum?" "Yes, Prince Charles is a bum!" "Never done a day's work in his life!" "If I was his mother, I'd throw him out of the palace!" "And that is exactly what I'm doing to you." "I'm throwing you out of my palace!" "Now this may not be much of a palace, but oh God, every penny that pays for it, I earned it!" "And I want you out of it!" "You get out of it." "You get out of my life." "Damn it." "Excuse me." "No, that's okay." "Let that out." "It's healthy." " Want a cigarette?" " I quit." "Yeah, I should too." "Smoking is stupid." "It's suicide." "No offense." "No offense taken." "So, you and your son ever get back together again?" "Oh God, months went by, terrible months." "Aram, don't worry." "We'll try again later." "Oh, it's no use." "Same thing with Millie for a couple of weeks now." "My son and my thing..." "I can't get either one to work." "How is Michael?" "Have you seen him?" "The wedding was last month." "Millie went." "You didn't?" "To witness my only son's manhood being amputated?" "Thank you, no." "But you're feeling okay, right?" " Your back's better, your leg?" " Yeah, everything's fine." "Except..." " You're able to work?" " Huh?" "Yeah, I'm well enough." "The guy at the bicycle delivery service made me a dispatcher." "I sit at a desk all day long." " Does it pay anything?" " Well, we scrape by." "I went on some interviews for jobs that pay better, and nothing seemed to happen." "And I don't know why." "I used to be able to make things happen, and I cannot make things happen now." "And what's worse is, it's beginning not to bother me." "I'm content to sit at a desk and just answer a telephone for $200 a week." "If I were half the man I was," "I would be raging at my failure." "Raging." "No rage left in me." " Hi Aram." " Hi dear." "Mmm, what smells so good?" "I have a roast in the oven." " Cherry strudel?" " Uh-huh, and I have a Crown Royal over there." "Pour yourself a drink." "Dinner will be ready in 15 minutes." "Where'd the money come from?" "Did Michael..." "No, I promised you I wouldn't take from Michael." " Then where?" " You know Anita, Mrs. Villalobos down the hall?" "She had the flu today." "She cleans for this lady in the valley." "This lady had a party last night, and she needed somebody real bad," " and Anita asked me if I would go." " And you went?" " You cleaned another woman's house?" "!" " Oh, it wasn't hard." "I earned $45, and while I was there, this other lady, this neighbor, she needed someone to come in and clean three times a week," " so I said I would." " Oh Millie." "Aram, if you don't want me to, I won't, but it would make things a lot easier." "Aram..." "I went from my father's house to yours." "I never had a job." "I really enjoyed the feeling of earning money today." "It was a really good feeling." "Please don't be angry with me." "Oh Millie, how could I be angry with you?" "Aram?" "Aram?" "Aram?" "Millie... there's something I gotta tell you." "I don't have the guts to do it to your face." "I didn't go bankrupt." "I gave my money away." "See, I thought I could turn my son into a man and I thought I could turn myself into a kid again, and I couldn't do either." "It's a te... no no, Shaggy, go away right now, please." "It's a terrible thing that I've done to you, Millie." "I stole your whole life away." "I thought I could give it back to you anytime I wanted, and I couldn't." "And I cannot stay here day after day looking at the results of my stupidity, and I do not have the right to forbid you from taking Michael's help." "God, let him..." "let him look after you the way that you deserve to be looked after." "And... you're a wonderful woman... and I'm not worthy of you." "Goodbye." "Oh." "Boy, that's really rough." "That's when you found me on the overpass." " I should have jumped." " No, don't say that." "If you had, I wouldn't have gotten to know you." "I wouldn't have heard your story." "Anyway, I love a good cry." "Hey, I got kind of a confession to make." "When I told you that I knew some of the guys that you gave that money to," " that wasn't the whole truth." " No?" " I was one of the guys." " Huh?" "I was afraid if I told you you might put the touch on me." "You mean, there's some of it left?" "I got most of it." "In a bank." "What are you saving it for?" "For when times get rough." "Look, it kills me to part with even a dime." "I just can't do it." "That's just the way I am, all right?" "But maybe I could let you have a couple of hundred?" "That's very good of you." "Good?" "I'm a goddamn saint!" "But what the hell, and I'll tell you what," " I'll buy you dinner." " Yeah?" "Yeah, we'll go someplace really great, huh?" " Like maybe Denny's?" " Yeah." " Or you got another idea?" " Oh, there's a Chinese restaurant that I would love to go to." "Yeah." "I haven't been there in a long time." "Mmm, wow, that was one of the best meals I've ever had." "Yeah." "What's the matter?" "You didn't like the food?" "Oh hell yeah, I liked the food." "I loved it." "The damn food was great." "On special occasions, I used to come here with my wife when I was feeling very proud of myself, you know, made a big sale, closed a deal, whatever." "I always thought that what made these dinners so great was how good I felt about myself." " You see?" " No." "Well, I never thought that I could enjoy anything unless I really earned it." "Otherwise I'd feel guilty." "Ah." "So I figured if the food tasted that good," " it's because I earned it." " Oh." " That wasn't it at all." " Oh." "This meal is being paid for by a lovely lady who lives in a cardboard box." "It's every bit as good." "The damn food is just great." "Yeah well, there was a lot of good stuff in the world before you came along, and there'll be a lot of good stuff after you've gone." "The trick is to grab some while you're here." "You're a very wise derelict." "Thank you." " Okay." " Where are you headed?" "As far as that bus is going." "You know, I would go with you, but I really like LA." " Yeah?" " I wouldn't feel at home being homeless anywhere else." "Bye, Billie." "Bus number 67 serving the route to San Diego" " arriving at gate 9." " Thanks for all your help." "Hey, wait a minute." "I got something for you." "Here's your watch." "Thank you." "Five, 10, 20." " Thank you." "Have a nice day." " Thank you." "Hello, Millie." "I went by the apartment." "I didn't know you'd moved." "Mrs. Villalobos told me I'd find you here." "You look wonderful." "Oh, thank you." "How are you?" "Eh?" "Fine." "You got my letters?" "Yeah, from all over the country." "But I'm not so sure an envelope with no address containing only some money wrapped in a blank sheet of paper could be called a letter, but thank you for the money." "It's not much, I know, but whenever I had any to spare..." "Oh... it was nice you thought of me." "It would have been nice if I had known what you were doing." "Nothing really worth talking about." "I'd find a job of some kind, make a little money, and then quit the job, relax a bit, move on somewhere else, take another job, and so on." "It's hard for me to picture you ever relaxing." "What did you do when you weren't working?" "Sit in a park and feed a pigeon." "Read a book." "Visit a zoo, Grand Canyon." "What about you?" "Isn't Michael taking care of you?" " Why are you still working?" " I enjoy it." "Oh." "The boss treat you okay?" "Aram, I am the boss." "Oh, isn't that wonderful!" "Michael bought this for you?" "No no, I never took money from Michael." "I wanted to look after myself." " Then how..." " I have a partner who put up the initial investment." " Oh, is it anybody I know?" " Oh yes." "What's going on here?" "Oh, don't worry." "It's not "This is Your Life."" " How..." " After you left, and I didn't hear a thing for two months," "I didn't know if you were alive, so I went to see Irene" " to see if she knew anything." " You knew about Irene?" "I knew about Irene." "How long?" "Oh, a few years." "You never said a word to me." "The night before I got married my grandmother came to my room." "She told me there were three things even God could not create... a floor that would stay clean, a baby that would stay dry and a husband that would stay faithful." "Oh." "Very wise, your grandmother." "Anyway, when I didn't hear from you, I went to see Irene." "And she was as worried as I was, and we started talking and we found we liked each other." "We agreed you had excellent taste in women." "One day I invited her over to the apartment for coffee and I baked my cherry strudel." " Oh, it was incredible!" " I know." "Oh yeah, of course." "And Irene got the idea of opening up a shop." "I took out a mortgage on the condo, and here we are." "The shop is doing well?" "We have branches in Westwood, Encino, we're opening another in Pacific Palisades, and there's a group of investors talking to us about opening a national franchise operation." "What?" "I wanted to make a man of my son, not my wife." "Aram, why did you come back?" "Pick up the invoice for me, will you?" "It occurred to me that you might want to end the marriage formally." "So I'm here to do whatever you want me to do." "That's very considerate." "Is there... anyone in your life right now?" "No no, not really." "Every time I start to think about someone, an envelope would come from Buffalo or Wichita with $15 or $20 in it, and I... it confused the issue." "Is there anyone in your..." "No, it's okay." "You can ask her." "Ask me what?" "Is there anyone in your life?" "Yes, there is, an actor." "Oh." "Been in anything I've seen?" "Just my bedroom." "He's a lot younger than I am, and he's poor." "I find the combination irresistible." "Irene, we have to hurry." "Oh, Millie, how is Michael?" "Oh, he's fine." "Look, Irene and I have to meet the architects at the new shop." "Here's my home address." "Come over to the house for dinner about 6:00 and we'll talk." "Oh good, yeah." "Well, I'm very happy things are working out" " so well for both of you." " In a way, we owe it all to you." "Millie and I never would have met if you hadn't been the rotten cheating bastard that you are." " Uh-huh." " See you at 6:00." "Heather, we'll be back in a few hours." "Oh okay, Mrs. Katourian." "Hi, Millie." "Hi." "All this from cherry strudel?" "Oh, this isn't mine." "I'm just renting the guest house until I can find a place of my own." "I was planning to cook dinner, but I didn't have any time to shop, so if you don't mind," " I thought we'd eat out." " Good, fine." "Tell me about Michael." "Is he happy?" "What did you say?" "Michael and his new bride, are they happy together?" "No, I'm afraid not." "Linda met a baseball player and fell head over heals and she and Michael got a divorce." "Oh my God." "Is he all right?" "He was pretty broken up." "He really loved her a lot, but he's adjusting." "Oh Lord." "Where is he living?" " Here." " Oh, with you?" "No, it's his house." " His house?" " It was part of the divorce settlement." "Part of the..." "what do you mean, "part"?" "He also got $5 million." "$5 million?" "Aram, please don't be angry with him." "His lawyer said he could have gotten 10 time that, and he didn't want to take anything." "And Linda pleaded with him to take it, because she was feeling very guilty about what she was doing." "Don't be angry with Michael." "I'm not angry." "I am delighted for him." "Good for him." "Even though he didn't earn it?" "If a man wins $50 million in a lottery, did he earn it?" "As your son would say, money is money, and God bless him, let him enjoy it." "Even though it came from a woman?" "Don't women get money from men in divorce settlements, Millie?" "What, are you becoming a sexist pig?" "You know, Millie, I'm not really proud of the way" "Michael turned out." "I'm not gonna kid myself about that." "But I have come to realize you don't have to be proud of someone to love them." "Is he home?" "I'm dying to see him." "Oh no, he usually doesn't get home until past midnight." " Oh." " Yeah." "Oh, uh... have you given any thought to what I said earlier?" "Do you you want a divorce?" "I don't know." "Would you?" "I've never stopped loving you, Millie." "I'm not the same person I was." "I'm a very different woman." "Oh I know." "I can see that." "I think I like the new woman too." "And I am a different man." "I think perhaps I could like this new man as well." "Maybe the four of us could double-date sometime." " What was that for?" " Irene." " What about your grandmother?" " Screw my grandmother." "Let's eat." "Right this way." "Your waiter will be right with you." "Thank you." " Thank you." " Enjoy." " It's very nice." " I knew you'd like it." "Aram, could you order me a sherry?" " I'll be right back." " Oh yeah, sure." "Excuse me, could you have that waiter over there serve us, please?" " Certainly, madam." " Thank you." "Michael, table nine." "Good evening." "Good..." " Dad?" " Michael." " Dad!" " Michael!" "Would you like to know tonight's specials?" "No, I don't wanna know tonight's specials." "I'd like to know what you're doing here." " I'm working." " Working?" "!" "Yes." "Would you care for a drink before dinner?" "Yeah, I think I could use one." "Crown Royal on the rocks for me and a dry sherry for your mother." "Mom?" "Yeah yeah." "Okay, I'll be right back with them." "Dad!" "I'm sorry I didn't say anything." " I wanted you to be surprised." " It worked." "$5 million, he's waiting on tables." "Yes, at least it's a job." "I thought you'd be pleased." " Pleased?" "!" " Is anything wrong, sir?" "Just found out my son's a lunatic." "Everything's fine." "Very good, sir." "For madam, dry sherry." " Hi, Mom." " Hi, darling." " Surprised?" " Oh yes." "And for the gentleman, Crown Royal." " Why, Michael?" " Why?" "Why are you working here?" "It's a little complicated to explain." "I should get your dinner orders in first." "Tonight's specials..." "Never mind the specials." "Just bring me steak." " Medium rare." " I'll have the salmon." " Excellent choice." " Thank you, yes." "Now, salad comes with that." "Anything to start?" "Nothing to start." "Couldn't you have talked him out of this?" "He's a man." "This is what he wants." "Clearing away people's dirty dishes?" "That's what he wants?" " You said you've waited on tables." " To make ends meet." "Not for the thrill of it." "House dressing or vinaigrette?" " What's the house?" " Blue cheese and walnut." " Okay, I'll have that." " Me too." "Hey now, Michael, that complicated story, I'd love to hear it." "Well, you know about my divorce?" " Yeah." " I told him." "I'm sorry." "The day the divorce became final, I was feeling pretty down." "I can understand that." "Your wife running off with the ball player." "If it had at least been a real good ball player... you know?" "I mean, your woman leaves you for George Brett or Don Mattingly, you kind of understand." "But this guy never batted over 260 in his career." "Couldn't hit an inside slider if his life depended on it, and his fielding..." "I understand." "The man is not gonna make the Hall of Fame." "Anyway, I was really feeling low, and I happened to pass by this restaurant." "I thought to myself, "Okay, maybe I'll go inside." "I might have a nice dinner." "I'll feel a little better"" "And darned if it didn't work!" "The food was terrific, I had some really nice wine, and when I finished, I really felt better." "You know, like the world wasn't such a terrible place after all." "And I felt grateful." "I wanted to thank somebody for the terrific meal I had that just cheered me up so much." "But who?" "Who would you thank?" "I don't know, the waiter, the chef." "Them?" "Sure, but they're not the only ones." "What about the people who wash the dishes?" "What about the people who sweep up?" "Or the cocktail pianist?" "What about the fisherman who caught the fish I ate?" "The farmer who grew the lettuce, the people who picked the grapes for the wine?" "What about the miner who dug out the silver for the cutlery?" "I mean, if you add them all up, thousands of people worked to make that meal I enjoyed so much possible." " Pepper?" " Thank you." "That's what work is." "Doing something that makes life a little bit nicer for other people." "You can't just go through life without doing something back for them." "I mean, Dad, it's not right." "So on my way out, I asked the maitre d' if they had any job openings..." "here I am." "Working as a waiter?" "A person has to work." "I know that!" "I've always known that, Michael." "Aram, you don't seem to understand." "Michael had to prove to himself that he wasn't you." "Work for you is everything, so for him it had to be nothing." " Now, he was dumb." " She's right, I was dumb." "Well, you both were dumb." "I wish I had some special ability or a talent in some field, but if I have, I haven't found it yet, and maybe I never will." "I'm sorry if I haven't turned out the way you wanted, Dad." "I'm sorry if I'm not the son you wanted, but this is me." "I think your dinner should be ready now." "Michael." "If all the fathers of all the people that ever won a Nobel prize were here tonight, every one of them would envy the way I feel about my son right now." "Sir, if you are pleased with our service, a simple gratuity would suffice." "I have to go to the Palisades today." "I have this tax appeal on the new shop." " I'll see you tonight for dinner." " All right, dear." " So what are you gonna be doing today?" " I think I'll play tennis with Michael and then maybe go to the track with Walter." " Okay, I'll see you tonight." " Okay, bye-bye." " Bye, Mom, have a good day." " Goodbye, sweetheart." "Hi Dad, I'm sorry I can't play tennis." "I gotta get to work." " Why so early?" " Oh, it's chaos." "Two busboys quit the restaurant." "We're short of staff." "Maybe I should apply for a job there, get to work again." "You do work." "You handle my investments." "Oh, a couple of phone calls a week." "Yeah, whatever." "My money's earning twice as much." "By the way, are you all right for cash?" "I told you, when I need I'll ask." " Yeah, but you never do." " Oh Lord." " I'll see you later" " All right, kid, bye." "Oh, Michael." "Do you ever stop and think that while you're running around every day in that restaurant carrying those heavy trays in and out of that steamy kitchen, I'm just sitting by your pool, drinking your booze, eating your food," "in general having one hell of a time with your money?" "Yeah, sometimes I think about that." "How does that make you feel?" "I love it." "I'll see you later." "English" " R1"