"Um, back about 6:30." "Yes, ma'am." "Hey, why don't you... oh, it's miss "strictly business," isn't it?" "Strictly." "Ah." "Well, then let's get down to business." "Where shall we go to dinner tonight?" "How about the ritz?" "Forget i mentioned it." "Won't take a minute." "Hey, hank, how's it feel to be a lady's man?" "You'll never know." "Man:" "Copy boy!" "Woman:" "Careful, hank." "The boss is sore." "I'll have him eating out of my hand." "No, no, no, no!" "No longer news when every blonde dame between the ages of 15 and 40 who gets herself arrested for shoplifting turns out to be your next follies girl!" "Now, that story you had in the early run is just about good enough for the dummy edition!" "You missed the whole point!" "Can you hear that?" "!" "Good!" "Well." "Good morning, mr." "Branch." "Good morning?" "It's 4:00 in the afternoon." "And get off the edge of that desk." "It's louis xiv." "Say, where have you been for four days?" "Three days." "Four days." "Three days, jim." "Three days, four days, it's all the same." "Don't change the subject." "Where have you been for four days?" "In brooklyn." "Four days in... what are you trying to do, set a record?" "Drunk again?" "How can i get drunk in three days?" "What's that in your hand?" "Some red-hot photographs of the brooklyn bridge or what?" "The real red-hot stuff i got, that patterson case you sent me on, and i got pictures... rich husband, beautiful wife, dashing correspondent." "Yeah?" "Where's the story?" "Story?" "Here's one of the juiciest divorce cases this town has ever seen, all ready to break." "Henry king patterson, president of one of the biggest banks in the country." "His wife, old family, famous long island hostess." "Young bannister, just as old family." "And not one of those fatheads we got working out there for us can even break the story." "Do you remember the murray trust swindle?" "Remember it?" "All the dough i ever saved went into that mousetrap..." "842 bucks." "Yeah, and there were hundreds more like you, old men and women who had everything in it... office boys, stenographers, street cleaners." "And young mr." "Bannister was the mouthpiece who got the head crooks off with a scolding." "Sounds like a smart boy, that's all." "Is it against the law to win cases?" "No, but it's against a lot of laws to bribe a jury." "Did he?" "How do you know?" "Have you got the facts?" "Look out for libel, now." "We got to be sure of this." "That's just it." "I have got the facts, but i can't pin it on him so it'll stick." "This young bannister's a smart tomato." "But even the smartest of us makes mistakes sometimes." "Even i do." "Oh, no, chief." "And maybe his playing around with madam patterson is where he made his." "Yeah?" "Jordan:" "I'd like to see you a minute, branch." "All right." "His honor, the publisher." "Probably wants to know why his wife's second, third, or fourth cousin's husband wasn't listed among those present at the duchess of bilgewater's dinner party at the casino." "Thank you." "Don't mention it." "Hey." "What?" "Oh, okay." "All right?" "Gentlemen, you will never know the cross i bear." "Well, mr." "Jordan... hello, branch." "Hello." "Have a cigar?" "No, thanks." "Sit down." "Thank you." "What's on your mind?" "It's about that, uh, patterson divorce story you were after." "What about it?" "Have you got something for us?" "I think that, for several reasons, it would be best to forget about it." "Oh." "Well, may i have one of those reasons?" "Well, for one thing, mr." "Bannister's likely to be involved." "However slightly, it might hurt his chances for nomination as state senator." "Slightly?" "It'll kill him." "Hmm, well, let me put it another way." "I am particularly interested in having mr." "Bannister nominated and elected." "He can be invaluable to me at the capitol." "Oh, i see." "You know, i've always been under the impression that we were running a newspaper." "I don't see that it's the purpose of a newspaper to print scandal that doesn't exist." "A newspaper should print any news that can be found, stolen, or bought to print." "One moment, branch." "I want the patterson divorce story killed as of this instant." "Well?" "You like your job here, don't you, branch?" "Of course i do." "Why shouldn't i?" "When i took a hold of this sheet four years ago, it was nothing but a rag." "I brought it up, made a newspaper out of it." "My life's blood's in it." "Why shouldn't i like it?" "I should hate very much to have to get along without you." "Will that be all?" "I hope so." "Thanks." "Anything serious?" "No." "'Cause if there is and you should make any change without letting me know... take me with you, will you, chief?" "What are you birds talking about?" "I'm not taking anybody anyplace because i'm not going anyplace myself." "You know, i can't remember any story i ever wanted to break more than this patterson yarn." "Break bannister with it." "If you mugs would disguise yourselves as newspaper men and get to know these people, we might have a chance of... hello." "Who wrote this?" "Hmm?" ""Mr. Eckelstein conducted as though he were anxious" ""to finish before his orchestra did." ""He very nearly succeeded." ""However, neither mr." "Eckelstein nor his orchestra" ""finished quickly enough for this reviewer." "Oddly enough, the audience seemed to like it. "" "Who wrote this?" "Who's n." "S?" "Society dame, been here a week." "Mr. Jordan's wife got her the job." "Society dame, eh?" "Send her in." "I want to see her." "Okay." "Hello?" "Yeah?" "Yeah." "What?" "What?" "Miss america in an automobile accident?" "Spread her picture all over the front page." "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Four-column cut on page... what?" "Miss america of 1923?" "!" "Put it in the want ads!" "Can you imagine?" "Miss america of 192... who are you?" "I'm from the music department." "You sent for me." "Oh, yes, yes." "Uh-huh." "Hank, go take a picture." "So, you're n. s." "Well, i, uh..." "yes, in a way." "You can't be n. s." "In a way." "Either you are n. s." "Or you're not n. s." "Exactly." "What i mean is i am n." "S...." "Nancy sharon." "But that's not my real name." "Oh, incognito?" "Royally?" "No." "My name is sharon norwood." "Norwood?" "Any relation to mrs." "Scarlet t." "I. Norwood of newport?" "Yes, she's my mother." "Mm-hmm." "Do you like the work?" "Love it." "Yes, you meet so many interesting people." "I haven't so far." "You know, mr." "Branch, i think the news-record is more intelligently handled than some other papers." "That's the reason i chose it to get my practical experience, because no matter what anyone thinks about theory, practical experience is always the best, and i think... would you like to have some tea sent in?" "I'd love to." "Have cap bring in the files on that butler case." "Didn't you wish to discuss my review with me?" "Yes, i did." "You know, it's easy enough for you, after all you've learned at oshkosh college... oshkosh..." "to pour out your scorn on people who happen to be old-fashioned enough to like beethoven's fifth symphony." "You know, our readers may not be smart as you are... are they as smart as you, mr." "Branch?" "It's a tie." "I give them what they like, and they like what i give them." "Well, i give them what i like and what they should like." "Tell me." "Uh, you're not seriously contemplating a newspaper career, are you?" "Yes, for a few months, doing the best music reviews this paper's ever had." "Then i'll try magazines." "I might even edit one or two." "Yes, yes." "Well, in view of your higher career, i'm afraid that forcing you to slave away your time on this paper is merely throwing an obstacle in your upward path." "Obstacles never bother me." "Oh, no." "But i'm too concerned with your career, so i'm going to do you a favor." "I want you to go down, see the cashier, ask him for two weeks' pay, and then tell him..." "you're fired." "Mr. Branch!" "With your appreciation of music, one of these days you ought to run a full-column cut of a bathing beauty sitting astride a great big brass horn." "You owe it to your public." "Good!" "Get that, cap?" "Four columns over all." "Caption..." ""horn of plenty. "" "And you, tell the cashier i said to give you an extra five bucks for the best suggestion of the week." "Good day." "Good day." "And you, cap, put some of my reporters on that patterson case right away." "If that divorce breaks and i haven't got that story... okay." "Hello?" "Oh, yes, yeah." "Hello, honey." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Ju-just a minute." "Hello?" "Who?" "Who?" "Mr. Taylor?" "Yeah." "Well, just a minute." "Hello, honey." "Yeah, look, i'm leaving here in a few minutes." "Yes, we'll have dinner at the bevort and then go on to "the cat and the fiddle. "" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah, absolutely." "Yeah, i'm leaving here in 5 minutes." "Hello?" "Send mr." "Taylor right in." "But tell him i can only give him a half an hour." "How do you manage to always get to a theater just at intermission?" "darling, they always declare an intermission when i arrive." "Whitmore:" "Hello, tommy." "Hello, whitmore." "How are you?" "Say... isn't that tommy bannister, the big athletic type?" "So, you do read your own rotten bureau section?" "How come julia patterson isn't with him?" "Maybe patterson got smart all of a sudden." "Pardon me." "Hello, nick." "Hello, hello, jim." "How are you?" "Glad to see you." "Hello, lane." "How are you?" "Hello, bannister." "Hmm?" "I'm branch of the news-record." "I met you last year in the lobby just before the gridiron dinner." "I'm sorry." "I seem to have forgot." "Oh, that's all right." "Oh." "Pardon me." "Miss norwood, may i present mr." "Branch?" "How do you do, miss norwood?" "How do you do?" "Say, branch, lane's telling me that cornell holds the course record at poughkeepsie." "I say it was columbia." "What do you think?" "Well, bannister here stroked the crew that really holds the record." "Why don't you ask him?" "They'd think i was exaggerating." "I'm afraid you're not a newspaper man." "Uh, miss norwood, when you, uh, come to work in the morning, will you drop in my office?" "I have a special story for you to work on." "Are you working for his paper, sharon?" "I was, but i've been fired." "Fired?" "Who fired you?" "One of the most egotistical men i have ever met." "Oh, yes, yes, i did hear about that." "You don't mean to tell me that you took that lecture seriously?" "Seriously enough to make up my mind i'd never work for that man again if he offered me the last job in the world." "Well, i wouldn't worry about that because from what i know about him, if it were the last job in the world, he'd keep it for himself." "I'll look for you around 3:00 then." "There's no law against looking, but i wouldn't let it interfere with my regular work if i were you." "Man:" "Curtain!" "Third act!" "Curtain!" "Can we go in, tommy?" "It's been swell being with you again, sharon." "Grand." "What about tomorrow night, tommy?" "I'm sorry." "I've got a date with a patterson." "Oh, julia and henry?" "Yes." "Incidentally, there's something i want to tell you." "What?" "There's been a certain amount of talk about julia and me." "Why, tommy!" "Julia's been having a miserable time." "I don't know whether henry could be called a jealous husband or just a drunken one." "Anyway, i tried to play the good samaritan and put my foot in." "There's been gossip." "Henry hasn't helped things by his attitude." "Oh, how awful for you." "Isn't there anything you can do about it?" "Not much." "I can't very well go to julia and say," ""look here, you can get someone else to handle your estate because i've heard rumors about us. "" "That sounds silly." "Besides, i need the money it pays me." "Well, you stick to your guns." "Wait please." "May i go up with you, sharon?" "I'd like to say hello to your mother." "Oh, i'm afraid she's deep in her beauty sleep by this time, tommy, but thanks awfully for the lovely evening." "It sort of reminds me of our long forgotten past or something." "Well, now that we've discovered each other again, i hope you won't be as elusive as you have been in the last few years." "Well, with my large and heavy newspaper career slightly on the wane, i'll probably have more time to myself." "Anyway, call me up again soon, and i'll prove to you i'm not so elusive." "I'll do that, sharon." "Good night." "Good night, tommy." "Mother:" "Sharon?" "Yes, mother." "I'm in here, darling." "What are you doing up so late, de..." "I hardly know, myself, only it's all very agreeable and charming." "Thank you." "Darling, don't look so bewildered." "This is mr...." "Oh, how silly of me." "Of course, you know each other." "Yes, but i didn't know you did." "We didn't." "And now you're the first to know." "It's a "scroop. "" "It's a what?" "A "scroop. "" "I think your mother means a scoop." "Exactly." "And why have you kept your delightful mr." "Branch a secret from me?" "I would have understood everything so much better if only you'd told me." "I was terribly opposed to sharon going into newspaper work, you know." "But i seem to have had an entirely erroneous impression of you newspaper men." "Yes, well, mother, i wouldn't judge all newspaper men by mr." "Branch." "Well, perhaps you're right." "Perhaps it is a little too much to expect." "Still, times have changed." "When i think of the names your father used to call newspaper men... for instance?" "How... how did the play finish tonight?" "With the whole company on the stage." "Really?" "Yes, a very original idea, don't you think?" "Oh, yes, yes, quite." "You make me quite nervous standing there, darling." "Why don't you sit down or something?" "After all, mr." "Branch really came to see you." "Yes, well, that's very sweet of him, mother dear, but i'm really awfully tired, and i'm going to go to bed." "Oh, nonsense." "You're hungry." "That's what's the matter with you." "And how about you, mr." "Branch?" "You must need some food, too." "The hungry news boy." "Oh, i'd welcome a crust of bread, ma'am." "Ah." "Don't ring, darling." "You might wake the servants." "You know, i practically adjust my life to suit theirs." "But i don't mind, really." "It's part of the new plan or new deal or whatever you call it, and I-i don't mind." "It keeps me quite young and patriotic." "Your mother's a darling." "Yes." "You're very like her." "Why are you here?" "Just an impulse." "I repeat, why are you here?" "I want you to come back to work." "What brought that about?" "Oh, i should have realized it takes time for people to adjust themselves." "That's a pretty radical change of heart to have in a few hours, isn't it?" "Well, that's the way i am..." "an extremist." "You haven't, by any chance, seen mr." "Jordan since you fired me, have you?" "Jordan?" "Yes, jordan." "You know, the man who owns your paper?" "Oh, yes, yes." "He hasn't had anything to do with your change of heart, has he?" "Well, we all have our bosses." "Well, supposing i don't want to come back." "Please." "You made it very clear to me this afternoon just what you thought of me as a music critic." "Oh, forget about that." "I've got a new idea for you." "I want you to write color pictures of big events." "Now, you know, take tonight's opening for instance." "Uh, there are a lot of our readers who don't care a hoopla what the reviewers think of the show." "But if we could make them feel that they'd really been at that opening themselves... you know, tell them who was there and how and why." "Cigarette?" "Tell them all about the 70-year-old jeweler who always takes his 95-year-old mother to all the first nights." "And then about the society crowd coming into the theater, the rothrocks, the lindens, the heltons." "And, uh..." "and then the younger set... uh, mrs." "Patterson with tommy bannister, and lady... what do you mean by that?" "What?" "Mrs. Patterson with tommy bannister." "Well, i thought... mrs." "Patterson was not at the theater with tommy bannister..." "i was." "And nothing bores me more than malicious gossip." "It's common talk." "Terribly common talk." "They've been friends of mine for years, and there's absolutely no foundation for this common talk of yours." "You know, i'm glad to hear that." "The news-record has enough legitimate stories to print without running anything just based on malicious gossip." "What do you mean by that?" "I mean that after what you've just told me, i wouldn't touch that story with a 10-foot pole." "Now, you know these people, and i don't." "Now, if you say it isn't true, it isn't true." "That's that." "You know, you're a strange man." "I wonder if by any chance you could be nice." "I am what i am, just a newspaper man." "Nothing more, and i hope nothing less." "Just the same, i think my idea is a good one." "Only we'll confine it to facts and leave out all the malicious gossip." "Do you agree?" "Mm-hmm." "I think it might be very interesting." "It certainly would..." "for you and for our readers." "Hello?" "Who?" "Mister... it's for you." "For me?" "For you." "Well." "Hello." "I'm calling you like you told me to, jim." "Oh, now, look, don't bother me with that silly nonsense." "You know that story automatically calls for a two-column head." "What are you talking about?" "And, uh, and listen, another thing, this is very important." "Yes, i, uh..." "i want you to kill that bannister-mrs." "Patterson story." "There isn't a word of truth in it." "Don't argue with me." "I don't care if you got it set up in platinum." "Kill it, mount the type, you understand?" "And just this afternoon you was boring out hank for a simple four-day drunk." "Three-day." "Good." "I thought you only dropped in here on impulse." "Well, i always let them know where i am, even on impulse." "You know... you're lovely when you smile." "Do you ever laugh?" "Sometimes." "Let's see." "I haven't anything to laugh about." "Oh, well, that's easy enough." "Did you ever hear the one about... yes." "Well, all right then." "Stop me if you've heard this one." "Stop." "You know, a good newspaper woman never interrupts." "She might miss the point on an important interview." "Then i'll wait until i'm on an important interview." "Well, you are practically on an important interview right now." "What are you doing?" "Well, now, never mind." "What's that mean?" "I am the woman with the quintuplets." "There's renee, clemence, jacques, louis, and, uh Uh, mildred." "Uh, interview me." "Oh, well, let me see." "My good woman, isn't it a bit unusual for this time of year?" "No, no, only in months with "r" in them." "Oh, you poor thing." "Oh, it was nothing, really." "No, no." "It wasn't a thing." "Anyone would have done the same thing in my place." "Oh, darling." "Now, look, aren't they the darlingest thing." "Ooh!" "There goes mildred!" "Oh, mildred!" "Oh, i've never seen a man who could hold a child correctly." "Mildred, mildred!" "Leave her alone." "She'll come out when she's hungry." "Yeah, that's what you say." "It's not your apple." "Oh, it will be if i find it first." "Millie, come here." "Here, i got her." "There she is." "Oh, the sweet... you know, she has a nice, red, ruddy complexion." "You see?" "You see?" "You're marvelous when you laugh." "I told you so." "Uh, miss norwood, you have a lot of money, haven't you?" "Well, i'm not starving." "Mm-hmm." "I mean, you have a large income of your own?" "Mm." "Mm?" "Yeah, that's what i thought." "Miss norwood, i want a simple answer to a simple question." "Will you marry me?" "No." "That's what i thought, too." "What would you have done if i said yes?" "Well, i'd have gone through with it." "I think it still is a good idea." "Whoa, mildred." "Why, may i ask?" "Well, we both work on the same paper, we both laugh at the same thing, you got a job, i got a job, everybody's got a job, and you still got a lot of money." "Yes, but you might lose your job, and i might lose my money." "Well, then i think you'd have the best of the deal because i can get another job, but i don't think you'd find it so easy to get another fortune." "Oh, i don't know." "I've never seen a blonde in a bread line yet." "Mother:" "Mr. Branch, i think it's horrid of you to be amusing while i'm out in the kitchen, slaving for you." "Well, i'm always willing to give an encore." "Never mind the encores." "You see, you have no idea the jealousy that exists between artists today." "Uh..." "Hey, it's 1:00..." "the middle of my day." "I'm sorry, but i've got to be getting back to the office." "But, mr." "Branch, you're hungry." "No, no, no." "It's all in a day's work." "Hunger, insomnia." "Eat when you may." "And all so the world may know tomorrow morning that joe dotes was fined $5 for running through a traffic signal." "Oh, you're too modest." "I don't know what we'd do without newspapers." "Well, i don't know what i'd do." "I do." "I'll expect to see you in my office tomorrow around 3:00." "We can arrange the details then." "Yes, i am fixing up a new assignment for your daughter." "Oh, how marvelous." "I don't know when i've had a more delightful evening." "No, no, nor do i." "Well good night, miss norwood." "Mr. Branch." "Good night, mother." "You know, i've never had a mother." "He's never had a mother?" "Oh, darling." "Good evening." "Well, this isn't such a bad-looking place." "Hello, mr." "Jordan." "Hello, sharon." "How are you?" "Well." "Hello, branch." "Hello, mr." "Jordan." "I didn't know you two knew each other." "Oh, i had meant to talk to you about miss norwood." "She's very keen to learn newspaper work." "I think you won't have any trouble finding a place for her." "No, no." "As a matter of fact, she's working on the paper right now." "What?" "Doing very well." "Good!" "Splendid!" "My wife must have fixed it." "Amazing woman, mrs." "Jordan." "Never forgets." "No, no, i'm sure." "I hope you like it, sharon." "I'm sure you're in good hands." "Oh, i'm very sure." "Yes, yes, indeed." "Well, well, nice to have seen you." "Yes, thank you." "I thought mr." "Jordan told you to hire me back." "You said that." "I didn't." "What are you looking at?" "The biggest liar in the world." "Oh, come, now." "You're taking up too much territory." "They tell me there are liars in europe that have forgotten more than i'll ever know." "Why did you lie to me?" "If you were looking at what i'm looking at, you'd know why i lied to you." "How about a cocktail?" "Oh, yes." "That's a grand idea." "What about that story you and i were going to work on?" "Well, to begin with, i think you ought to write a few sticks about the architecture in this place." "Shall we start outside?" "No, but we saw the outside from upstairs when we came in." "No, no, no." "I mean the other side... the river side." "Oh, that's lovely." "Very nice." "Can we go and take this with us?" "Let's." "Lovely." "Charming." "Hmm, black water under a full moon." "Very beautiful, but rather banal." "And very romantic." "Oh, among the early arrivals was mrs." "Murchison and party." "What are you doing?" "Reporting." "Must you?" "Mm-hmm." "That's a handy little gadget, isn't it?" "Yes." "Tommy bannister gave it to me when he heard i was a "working girl. " Oh." "As your boss, i demand that you pay more attention to me." "Mrs. Murchison:" "Hello, sharon." "Hello, mrs." "Murchison." "How are you?" "How are you, darling?" "Fine, thank you." "What a charming place." "Yes, isn't it?" "Is your mother here?" "No, she's not." "Remember me." "I will." "Hurry up." "What?" "Hello, sharon." "How's the music?" "Oh, divine." "Hi, harvey." "Swell." "You look pretty swell yourself." "Must you know everyone?" "Well, it's part of the job, isn't it?" "Hello." "Hello, you." "Hi, sharon." "Well, mrs." "Murchison had on a brocade wrap." "Mr. Murchison had on a black tulle." "I see the fleet's in." "Yes, and you're blockaded." "Laugh again, please." "You know, it doesn't seem possible this river could have been here for centuries just as a background for you on the night of august the 18th." "But that's the way it seems to have worked out." "You say awfully nice things, mr. "b. "" "Not nearly so nice as i'd like to say." "You know, this is all nonsense." "You're a pernicious influence." "I've got to get down to work." "Whoa." "Where are you going?" "You'll have a body on your hands if you don't take me in." "I'm..." "i'm famished for food." "I warned you." "No wonder admiral byrd takes all those trips." "There's no privacy left in america." "I don't think i care awfully." "I'm afraid i do." "No, i mean about all those people." "You're grand." "Come on." "Well, here we are." "Oh, so you won't talk, eh?" "Here we are." "Yes, yes." "That seems to be pretty well established by now." "Miss norwood, will you give me a civil answer to a civil question?" "Yes." "Will you marry me?" "No." "You mean that?" "Mm-hmm." "As much as you meant it last night?" "Mnh-mnh." "Mind if i ask you often?" "I'd be furious if you didn't." "Too soon now?" "No." "All right." "Here it goes." "Lovely." "Julia:" "I don't know where your places are." "You'll have to find them yourself." "You knew, of course, that julia patterson was going to be here tonight." "Yes." "But i'd forgotten about it until this very minute." "You also had a hunch that tommy bannister was going to be with them, and you thought it might help your story if i were here." "Now, didn't i tell you i was convinced there was no story?" "Yes, but you also told me there were bigger liars in europe." "Well, you know, sharon, it's... it's hard for me to judge people in your crowd." "I'd like to meet them, get to know them better." "I'd like to believe that you're right." "You know, julia's just like an older sister to tommy." "You really should meet them." "If i only could." "Hello, sharon." "Hello, branch." "Slumming?" "No." "But miss norwood is." "Well, you see, tommy, this is the assignment i told you about." "I'm just a slave to my boss." "And do you keep tommy informed daily as to your assignments, sharon?" "Not at the present writing." "I don't think you've met mrs." "Patterson, branch." "Julia, this is mr." "Branch." "How do you do, mrs." "Patterson?" "Oh, mr." "Branch and i have sort of a reading acquaintance, haven't we?" "Yeah, yes, sort of." "Isn't this a lovely place?" "I mean, being on the river and all that sort of thing?" "We were just on our way to the bar for a cocktail." "Won't you join us?" "Oh, fine, i think a cocktail's a grand idea." "But we've just had..." "oh, come on, sharon." "But what about our ham and eggs?" "Why is everybody standing around for?" "Julia, why aren't we in a bar, drinking?" "Well, walking seems to be the only way to get in." "We can try running, if you like." "Oh, henry, this is mr." "Branch." "This is my husband." "Mr. Patterson?" "Well, mr." "Patterson, i am happy to know you." "You'll never know how i've been looking forward to meeting you." "The pleasure is mutual, i assure you." "Oh, thank you." "What did you say your name was?" "Branch." "James branch." "Oh, i've heard of you." "Take the order, will you please?" "And get some more chairs." "Hello, sharon." "Hello." "I didn't see you before." "Oh, don't tell me that julia and tommy have gotten themselves a chaperone?" "Henry, don't be silly." "In henry's present condition, he's lucky to be able to see what anybody's doing." "Mr. Patterson, i suppose you're backing your good friend bannister for state senator." "I am not!" "Really?" "What was that my mother used to tell me about old friends being the best of friends?" "Well, they may not be the best of friends, but they certainly get away with an awful lot." "Julia:" "Henry, sit down." "Henry says the cutest things when he's drunk, and he's always drunk." "Why shouldn't i be drunk?" "I got more right to be drunk than anybody else in the world." "Really." "I've had enough of this." "Julia." "Julia." "If anyone should leave, i think it should be... here!" "Keep your hands off of her, bannister!" "Henry." "I thought you said there wasn't a story there." "All i had to do was give it a little push." "Aren't you clever." "I think we'd better go home, henry." "You're in no condition to entertain guests." "Well, my condition is my own affair." "And as for anyone leaving, i have only one suggestion to make." "Julia, i do think it'll be better for everyone concerned if i were to leave." "Oh, but you... please excuse me." "Good night." "Good night, branch." "Good night, bannister." "Sorry you're leaving." "Good night, sharon." "I think i'll go along, too, tommy." "Do you mind taking me?" "Why, of course not." "Must you go?" "Yes." "I have a story to write at the office." "Oh." "Please sit down, henry." "You'll excuse me, won't you, julia?" "Good night." "Good night." "Do you really have to go to the office?" "No, i want food and fresh air... fresh air first." "All right." "You meet me on the terrace, and we'll take a club launch to the moon." "Sounds pretty nearly perfect to me, all except the moon." "I'll get my hat and coat." "Sharon?" "Yes?" "You've had exactly 58 minutes of that fresh air you wanted." "How about paying a little attention to me?" "I'm sorry, tommy." "That's the sharon we know and love." "My boathouse is right ahead." "What about that food you craved?" "You're an angel." "Some food." "All right." "Second boathouse on the left, please." "Just a minute." "Oh!" "Welcome to bannister manor." "Tommy, this is charming." "Want me to wait?" "No, won't need you." "I'm on." "Hey, wait a minute." "I came here for ham and eggs, not to be stranded on a desert isle." "Have no fear, madame." "We're prepared for any emergency." "My boathouse, my gymnasium, my play room, and my garage." "Oh, tommy, it's delightful." "Do you like it?" "A boat at your front door, a car at your back." "Where do you keep your airplane, in the kitchen?" "Oh, tommy, nice, nice, nice." "Make yourself at home, sharon." "And now for the bannister food." "Hmm!" "Beautiful view." "Moon on the water." "Haven't you got any to go?" "Oh, how mortifying." "You don't mean that... yes." "Aah, is there nothing a girl can count on?" "I can be content with ham and eggs without ham." "I could even be content with ham and eggs without eggs." "But ham and eggs without ham and eggs?" "Ohh!" "What a cad i am." "Ah!" "I once saw a man pull eggs out of a hat." "It's not that kind of a hat, and i'm not that kind of a man." "I suppose this is the place where i should tactfully change the subject." "Bless you." "Mm-hmm." "Well, let's see." "Oh, yes." "Isn't that the crew you once stroked?" "Yes, that's the gang." "I bet you never knew you kept me up until 11:30 one night at geneva waiting to see what that crew would do." "Really?" "Geneva?" "Yes." "That was the year that mother decided that my french accent was too german and my german accent was too french, so she sent me to switzerland." "If i had known that, i'd have made them start the race at 10:00 in the morning." "Remember, i wanted to take you to the prom that year." "Mm-hmm." "We really haven't seen each other since we were kids, have we?" "Well, that's not my fault." "You were at bryn mawr, in europe, social service, and then newspaper work." "Why do you have to work on a newspaper, sharon?" "I don't have to." "I'm resigning." "Oh!" "I'll, uh..." "i'll go downstairs and get some wood and build a fire." "Wood?" "Why on earth?" "I'm not cold." "Oh, but you may be." "It's very deceptive out here." "Oh, i'll just turn this on." "Old american custom..." "music with your meals." "Meal?" "Well, meals if there was anything to eat in the house." "I won't be a minute." "Julia... julia, what are you doing here?" "I want to talk to you." "Tomorrow." "No." "Not tomorrow." "Tonight." "Now." "You've got sharon norwood upstairs, and i'm gonna tell her exactly how things stand." "I've had enough of this." "Sharon's not up there." "There's nobody up there." "Ha!" "You're lying." "Let me pass." "Julia, you're out of your mind." "Well, if i am, it's your fault." "You can't get away with this." "I'm gonna tell her all about us." "Julia, will you be quiet?" "!" "Julia, you can't go up there, i tell you!" "All right." "You're through." "You've got my money, and you're through." "But you're not gonna do the same thing to sharon norwood." "If you don't shut up, i'll shut you up!" "Oh, no, you won't." "I will." "I swear i will!" "If it's the last thing on earth... will you be quiet?" "!" "I'm going upstairs." "Keep quiet!" "Tommy!" "Julia." "Julia!" "Hello, mr." "Branch?" "Yes." "Oh, i know you haven't got that story yet." "But supposing you write it." "You know all about the river club and who's there." "You can't quit like that." "It isn't ethical." "Oh, yes, it is..." "your kind of ethics." "What difference does it make where i am?" "I'm having a very nice time, if you want to know." "Listen." "Now do you believe me?" "Hey, listen, baby, i know a phonograph record when i hear one." "Yeah, now, you go kiss your mother good night and go to bed." "And by the way, you better tell your maid to dust off that record." "It's a little worn-out." "And so are some people." "That's for you, mr." "Branch." "Do you think he caught my hint?" "You have a positive gift for innuendo." "Oh, where do you get these awful antiques?" "Always belittling." "If you weren't hungry, you wouldn't criticize." "So i'm gonna take you out and give you something to eat." "What?" "!" "Well, you've been screaming for it." "Well, it's all right with me, only first you get the wood, then you have no food." "Never mind that." "Walk, don't run, to the nearest exit." "I'll go first." "Whew!" "Can't see." "Never mind." "Follow me." "Can't go wrong." "Careful." "Watch your step." "Phew!" "Hang on to me and i'll guide you." "Look out, there's a step there." "Slip in and start the motor, will you?" "I'll open the door." "Well, here we go." "North or south?" "Food!" "This looks like one of those places you get ptomaine." "I don't care as long as we get eggs with it." "O'connor: new york police." "Shh!" "Shh!" "Calling all cars, calling all cars." "Cover all highways leading in and out of the metropolitan district." "Be on the lookout for a stolen car... a chevrolet coupe." "I don't know why i'm looking at this thing." "Shh!" "Shh!" "Shh!" "Please, please." "All i want is... 47328, 47328." "Cover all highways." "Hey, can't we have a little music?" "Yeah!" "Music?" "Who wants to listen to music?" "It may be a good murder any second." "Calling car 47, car 47." "Listen, please." "1001 spruce street, apartment 407." "A man beating up his wife." "That's all." "O'connor." "That might have been something serious." "Now, will you please shut that off and give us some music?" "If i shut that off, how will i know what happened?" "It'll be in the paper in the morning." "Can't you read?" "No." "Don't you want to please your customers?" "No!" "It's all right." "I turn the music on." "I don't care anything about music." "I want ham and eggs." "Ah, that's better." "You think so?" "I don't think so!" "Please may i have some ham and eggs?" "!" "What you want, miss, please?" "Ham and eggs." "What do you want?" "!" "I think i'll have a cup of coffee." "One ham and eggs, one cup of coffee for him." "Excuse my husband." "He wants to listen to the radio every day... murder, murder." "Someday, i murder him." "Someday, you're gonna find out who is the boss of here... me or you." "Oh, yeah?" "I never saw ham and eggs disappear so quickly." "Oh, i'm out of training." "Two minutes flat is my record." "Man: when you hear the sound of the gong, the time will be exactly 56 and one half minutes past 1:00." "What i want to know that for?" "I got a clock." "I hope the ham and eggs are better than the coffee." "What's a matter with the coffee?" "Well, it's..." "my wife, she make it." "Oh, she did, eh?" "You no like it?" "No." "You don't like my wife?" "!" "I didn't say anything about your wife." "Let's go, huh?" "75 cents!" "All right, all right." "Here you go." "Keep the change, greek." "O'connor:" "At number 62 avenue "a. "" "Hurry." "That's all." "O'connor." "Good morning, good morning." "I'd like to see miss norwood." "Tell her it's mr." "Branch." "I couldn't, sir, not for anyone." "It's 7:30." "Yes, yes, yes, i know the time." "Tell her i'm here." "But it's not possible, sir." "Well." "I'm sorry, miss sharon." "That's all right." "That'll be all." "What are you doing here?" "Well, I-i thought you might want to know." "Mrs. Patterson was found murdered in her home this morning." "I don't believe you." "It's true." "We just had a flash of it in the office a half-hour ago." "That's why i hurried right up here." "Hello." "Good morning." "Whatever in the world is the matter?" "Well, i've been trying to break the news to your daughter." "Mrs. Henry king patterson has been murdered." "Murdered?" "Oh!" "Now, if they play this thing up from the bannister angle, you're going to get your name in the paper." "You wouldn't want your name in the paper, would you, mother?" "Oh, certainly not!" "They're holding an investigation out in the patterson home this morning, but they're not letting any of the papers in on it." "Well, what can i do?" "You can get me in there." "You're a friend of the family." "Once i'm there, i'm pretty sure that i can get the police to soft-pedal certain angles of the investigation." "Well, i may be able even to get them to leave out certain names of people who may be innocently involved." "That is if i can get there in time." "That's up to you." "I'll take you." "Does tommy bannister know?" "Probably." "Who... who murdered her?" "We don't know yet." "Goodbye." "Mother, call the garage and have my roadster sent around, will you?" "Sharon, be careful, darling, and... and let me know as soon as you know who murdered her, mr." "Branch." "All right, mother." "Wait a minute." "You can't come in here." "Hello, miss norwood." "Oh, hello, joe." "old friend of the family's." "Oh." "Okay, go ahead." "All right, get back, everybody." "All right, get back, lady." "Where is the body?" "Who are you?" "Coroner's assistant." "Okay." "Coroner's assistant." "Where is the body?" "Okay, upstairs." "Woman:" "Mr. Patterson called mrs." "Patterson an awful name." "What was it?" "Well, it was awful." "I'll have to write it for you." "Never mind." "Then what happened?" "Then mrs." "Patterson tried to hit mr." "Patterson, but he grabbed her arm, and... and what?" "Then mr." "Patterson smacked her in the face." "It was all very embarrassing." "Did he hit her very hard?" "Oh, yes." "How hard?" "That'll be all." "Wait around till we need you." "Yes, sir." "It's a good thing he didn't kick her." "You take care of him." "Right in there." "Thank you." "Who's that man?" "I've seen him before." "Don't you remember?" "He's the head waiter from the riverview club." "Oh, yes." "Say, the..." "the police stenographer's taking down a lot of notes in there." "Aren't you afraid the information might get into the papers?" "Well, i must admit it has gone pretty far." "Well, isn't that the object in our being here, to squelch it?" "Yes, but, uh..." "oh, i see." "It was just an excuse of yours to get in here." "You never had any intention of keeping your word at all, did you?" "Well, i just thought... you just use people to gain your own end." "Did it ever occur to you that there's such a thing as honesty?" "You know, i'm sorry you take it that way, because after all, you know, i have a job to do." "I can't see any particular harm in... no, you can't see any particular harm in anything you do." "I'm afraid we just haven't the same ideas about anything." "Fred:" "What time did you leave the riverview club?" "Mr. Patterson:" "I think it was about 11:00." "L- i can't remember." "You can't remember, huh?" "No." "Hello, branch." "How'd you get in here?" "Influence, fred." "Feel better now?" "Yes, thanks." "Cigarette?" "Why did you kill her?" "I didn't say i killed her!" "I said i couldn't remember." "You admit that you were drunk when you came home." "Yes." "You must have been pretty sore when you hit her." "Yes." "Do you remember everything you did when you were drunk?" "No." "Now, mr." "Patterson, why don't you tell us all you really know?" "It'll save you a lot of trouble." "Hey, you can't go in there." "Why not?" "The body... no one allowed in." "I can hear someone in there now." "Oh, that's the coroner's assistant." "Oh, oh, okay, i wouldn't think of interfering." "Tell the boss i got all the pictures." "Okay." "Man:" "Now, mr." "Patterson, according to your statement, you came home from the riverview club last night at 11:00, had an argument with your wife downstairs, and slapped her, is that right?" "Thank you." "Hey!" "Well, coroner, what do we do with the body?" "Uh, put it in the bathtub." "Hey!" "Ixnay akincray." "Fred:" "Who let that guy in, and what for?" "I'd like to see anybody like that get by me." "Yeah, yeah, so would i." "Yeah." "So, this is mrs." "Patterson's room, eh?" "Yeah." "Hey, you can't go in there!" "What's the matter with you?" "Come on, now." "You got to get out." "Oh!" "Well." "It doesn't look like there was much of a fight, does it?" "Don't touch anything there now." "All right, all right." "Get away from that window." "Oh, i'm not hurting it any." "Get away from it all the same." "You might gum up the fingerprints." "All right, all right." "Nothing been touched, eh?" "No." "That's the position they found the body in." "Killed at 11:20." "How do you know?" "Well, the wristwatch stopped at 11:20, and the coroner said she'd been dead seven or eight hours when they found her." "Oh, the coroner, eh?" "Must have struck that watch on something there." "Look, the crystal's all broke." "The nightstand, i guess." "She must have banged it pretty hard." "Wonder what could have been his reason for killing her." "Well, they were married." "Well, that's a reason often enough, isn't it?" "Come on, come on, hey, hey." "You got to get out of here." "Get out." "Outside." "All right." "Everything's all right." "Don't worry." "Everything..." "i don't know how you got in here in the first place, but out." "All right, now." "Don't worry about it." "Yes, and the first thing you know, they'd have me back in uniform again." "All right, all right." "Keep right on going." "Goodbye." "Goodbye." "Go ahead." "Go ahead." "Mr. Bannister." "Thanks for coming, mr." "Bannister." "It's all right." "Is it true, mr." "Bannister, that mrs." "Patterson was planning to leave her husband for you?" "It is not." "Well, from what we can learn here in the house..." "look here." "I came here to help the police if i could, not to be cross-examined." "Well, it's true, isn't it, that mr." "Patterson was very jealous of you?" "That's ridiculous." "I was very fond of mrs." "Patterson, and we occasionally went out together." "But mr." "Patterson knew all about it." "Why, mr." "Patterson was..." "it might interest you to know that we've just arrested mr." "Patterson on the charge of murder." "What?" "There must be some mistake." "Well, have you seen him since this happened?" "No." "Like to?" "Certainly." "I'd like him to know that i'm standing by him." "Okay." "Right this way." "Excuse me, sharon." "Henry, old man, this is terrible." "Is there anything i can do to help?" "Will that be all?" "We could hold you as a material witness, mr." "Bannister." "But if you'll give us your word to be at our disposal if we need you... certainly." "That'll be all." "Well?" "I don't know what to think." "This is a terrible mess, sharon." "Horrible." "I still can't believe..." "he couldn't have killed her." "Hello, bannister." "Hello, branch." "You know, i think you're right about patterson." "I don't think he killed her, either." "You don't?" "No, but i got a pretty definite hunch who did." "You have?" "Mm-hmm." "And whom do you suspect?" "You." "In that case, i suppose i should go back and give myself up." "Well, that would save a lot of trouble." "Don't you think so?" "I'll tell you what i think." "Come on, tommy." "Jordan:" "It's inexcusable." "Sharon:" "I felt sure you wouldn't want your paper used for personal spite." ""Mr. Bannister appeared at the patterson home" ""early in the morning at the urgent insistence of the police." ""If he had any doubts about a police suspicion" ""in connection with himself, he concealed them well." ""His manner was perfectly that" ""of a young man about town with nothing to hide." "He... " ugh." "Won't happen again, i can promise you." "Hello, chief." "What's up?" "I'm afraid i've reached the limit of my patience, branch." "I think i'll be running along now, mr." "Jordan." "Oh, can't you have lunch with me?" "No, i'm sorry." "I promised mother i'd lunch with her at the beach club." "Oh, sorry." "Allow me." "Goodbye." "Goodbye, my dear." "Well, branch, what is the meaning of this?" "It's simple enough." "Any six-year-old child can understand it." "It's written for a circulation of 800,000." "As far as it can within the limits of the libel law, this story refuses to accept the police explanation that patterson murdered mrs." "Patterson and practically suggests that bannister might be involved in the murder." "Mm." "I'm told you wrote this story yourself." "Yes, every word of it." "We beat the town on the pictures, too." "I hope you noticed them." "They're hank parr's." "Mr. Branch, i spoke to you some days ago about the election story." "You ignored my request." "There's a limit to my patience, sir." "Mr. Jordan, i'll have to beat you to the punch." "I resign." "I'm through." "I've enjoyed working here, except for your illusions about your friends and business associates being untouchables." "There isn't a finer collection of men on any newspaper in the world than that bunch you've got out there." "I hope you appreciate them." "Goodbye." "Well, i'm sure we..." "goodbye!" "Uh, we, uh..." "All washed up?" ""Mr. Jordan, i beg to tender you my resignation effective as of this moment. "" "Is that the correct form?" "Hey, look, one of these days you're gonna talk about resigning, and somebody's gonna take you up on it, and then where will you be?" "With you." "I don't want you to leave this office." "Tell cap to stay here and be ready to write that story if i can get it." "You're not working here anymore." "What do you want to get the story for?" "Never mind." "I've got a personal reason." "It couldn't be because you're in love with miss sharon norwood?" "All right, i'm in love with her!" "You want to make anything of it?" "No, it's all right with me." "I'll keep your secret." "It's no secret." "I love her!" "I guess he loves her." "Sharon, i don't believe i've ever seen you act so stupidly." "No one that knows tommy bannister is going to believe that silly stuff, not for one instant." "That isn't it." "Well, what is it?" "I don't know." "That makes a lot of sense, doesn't it?" "Fine newspaper training, i must say." "Oh!" "I, uh, suppose you're surprised to see me here." "Nothing you could do would surprise me." "That's all over." "L" " I-i've been fired." "May i sit down?" "You know, i can't remember when i've ever gone so completely haywire in my whole life." "And now i'm through." "So, i'm going back where i started." "Uh, kansas city." "Oh!" "I didn't know you came from kansas city." "Did you ever know margaret fairhold?" "Oh, yes." "Her mother was a druten." "You know, we used to..." "mother." "Yes, but, well, they know me back there for what i am, the..." "the real jim branch." "I, uh... i just bought myself a one-way ticket." "Good old kansas city." "I've got some real friends there." "They'll give me another chance back there." "There are only two things that i must clear up before i leave." "You are one of them." "I want to apologize to you for the way i behaved." "Won't you accept my apology, please?" "I'm afraid you're taking it too much to heart." "A man with your..." "as well perhaps, and, well, there's..." "there's one other thing." "Uh, bannister." "Now, I-i know that i can never repair the injustice i've done him." "But i do want him to know that i didn't do it maliciously." "But I-i can't reach him." "I tried to call him." "He won't even see me." "He won't talk to me." "If tommy bannister doesn't forgive you, i'll never speak to him again." "Oh, could you?" "Would you?" "Take me to him." "Well, sharon can take you." "I must see him right away." "I know how you feel." "Well, i... of course, i abused you so much in a shabby way." "Won't you grant me this last favor?" "Please?" "I'd like to see that ticket to kansas city." "Huh?" "The ticket to kansas city." "You know, the one you didn't show my mother?" "So, you want to see my ticket to kansas city, huh?" "You catch on." "And just why do you want to see my ticket to kansas city?" "'Cause i don't think you've got one." "Oh, so you don't think i've got one?" "Well, suppose i showed it to you." "Then what would you think?" "I'd think you had a ticket to kansas city." "Yes." "You know, i know exactly what you're thinking, and i can't blame you." "That's mighty noble of you, mr." "Branch, but i'd like to see the ticket to kansas city." "Where is it?" "Now, don't tell me you t'm lying again?" "You've got to believe me about this." "You've got to." "Oh, yes?" "You can't ride in this car without a ticket." "So that's the way it is, is it?" "You won't take my word for it, will you?" "Get out of thi you know, a man has a certain pride about some things." "I might not show you that ticket just out of stubbornness." "Will you get out?" "You mean i've got to get out and walk home, like a girl?" "Get out of this car." "You're gonna look back on this someday with regret." "The only thing i regret is that i've taken you this far." "Now get out." "All rig's the way you feel about it." "You can turn around and go right back where you came from." "Oh, no, you go back where i came from." "I'll go on and apologize to tommy bannister for you." "Hey!" "Hey, hey, hey!" "Wait a minute, officer, wait a minute!" "Don't go away!" "Don't go away!" "I'll be right back!" "What's the matter with that guy, crazy?" "Hey, hey!" "Give me a ticket to kansas city." "Kansas city?" "!" "Yeah!" "Don't blame me." "I didn't name it." "Hurry up." "Which kansas city you want?" "We got two of them." "Any kansas city will do." "Give it to me, give it to me." "I'll give you missouri." "I'll give you missouri." "Hurry up." "Does that say kansas city?" "Yep." "How about your birth?" "Okay." "March 17, 1776." "Hey, that ticket ain't any good!" "I ain't signed it!" "I'll sign it!" "Hey, hey, hey!" "Come on, come on, hurry up, hurry up!" "Come on, come on!" "Hey!" "What do you think you're doing?" "Oh, come on, officer, have a heart." "I'm branch of the news-record." "I got to catch a car on the main highway." "What for?" "I just got out of it." "You just got out?" "Yeah." "Now you want to get back in?" "Yep." "Kind of whimsical, ain't you?" "Yeah." "No!" "What did you get out for in the first place?" "Because the girl in the car, she doesn't think i'm going to kansas city, and i'm not, but i got to prove that i am." "What's a matter, you nuts?" "Yeah." "No!" "Oh, come on, officer." "Have a heart." "I got to save her because i love her." "You love her?" "You're the one who ought to be saved." "Yeah." "Yeah, i know." "Hop on." "No, you don't." "Get up front." "Yeah, all right." "I want to keep my eye on you." "All right." "That dame belongs on the indianapolis speedway!" "Hey!" "Pull up there!" "Is this dame you're stuck on, buddy?" "Shh, shh!" "Well, i don't blame you." "Thanks, officer." "What are you playing now, "dracula"?" "Well, i'm going to give you one more chance." "What?" "Why should i let your stubbornness come between us?" "My stubbornness?" "Do you believe i have a ticket to kansas city or don't you?" "I do not." "Must i be the kind of a weakling to prove my honesty?" "You don't have to prove anything." "All right, then, here." "Here's my ticket to kansas city." "And i hate myself for giving in." "You're the most inconceivable man i've ever met in my life." "You can get in now if you want to." "I don't know whether i want to or not." "Hello, sharon." "Hello, tommy." "I..." "oh." "I brought mr." "Branch along." "He... he wants to see you." "Hello, bannister." "Hello, branch." "Come in." "Thanks." "Say, this is all right." "Garage, boathouse, gymnasium all in one, eh?" "Yeah, i don't think i've ever seen a place like this." "Thanks." "Oh, a racing scull, eh?" "Yes." "Say, you know, that's all right." "That's one exercise a man can keep up after he's out of college." "Uh, how long does it take to dry a thing like this after it's out of the water?" "Not long." "Do you have to oil it often?" "Not very often." "Oh, ready anytime you want it, eh, day or night?" "Never use it at night." "How many miles an hour can you make in it?" "I don't know." "About... well, i'll bet it's plenty fa... oh, you have living quarters upstairs, i suppose." "Hey, what is this, an inquisition?" "Now, wait a minute, tommy." "Why, that's the last thing that would enter my mind, bannister." "Mr. Branch came here to explain exactly how he felt about everything." "Well, aren't you gonna ask upstairs?" "Oh, of course." "This way." "Thanks." "Say, this is cheerful, i must say." "Thanks." "I don't want to seem rude, sharon, but may i ask what brings mr." "Branch here?" "Yes, of course." "He came here just to... i, uh... i've come to tell you what a fool i've been, bannister." "And i feel that you're entitled to hear it from me." "I... well." "I didn't know you had a motorboat, bannister." "I haven't." "That's mrs." "Patterson's." "Oh, i see." "You were saying... i was saying that i had come to certain conclusions, which i realize now are clearly absurd, and i'm sorry." "Indeed?" "Yes." "Like a sap, i believed every silly story i heard." "I don't think there's anything quite so stupid as a wise guy trying to believe what he wants to believe." "Why, i actually fell for that story about mrs." "Patterson endorsing almost $200,000 worth of your notes at the bank." "Gullible, that's me, just plain gullible." "If you hadn't been so stubborn and had listened to me... yes, but i... you want to know how i figured this patterson thing?" "I thought... well, i thought that maybe he rowed across to mrs." "Patterson's house that night." "It isn't necessary to itemize your suspicions when you're apologizing." "But i can see now how wrong i was, and i've come to tell you." "Of course, i must admit, there's one thing that has me stumped." "Nobody knows yet exactly where you were the night of the murder." "Just for fun, where were you?" "That's none of your business!" "You don't have to use me again to get him to answer that." "But, sharon, i'm only..." "i'll tell you where he was." "Sharon, i won't have you... he was right here with me the greater part of the evening." "I don't believe you." "Oh, that's right." "I forgot." "You're the man who always knows a phonograph record when you hear one, aren't you?" "Now do you believe me?" "I wish i didn't." "Rather upsets your theory about tommy, doesn't it?" "I wasn't thinking of bannister." "Now that you're through with your cross-examination, i'm gonna take you outside and give you the licking of your life." "Oh, tommy, this is ridiculous." "Wait a minute." "Wait a minute." "I like this." "I don't see any harm in you trying." "Right this way then." "It'll only take a minute." "Thank you." "Is this spot satisfactory?" "I think you'll find it okay." "Mm-hmm." "Ah, tell me, is this the way they did it when you stroked the crew?" "Not quite." "Would you like another lesson?" "Yeah." "I'm a slow study, professor." "Yeah, you are a slow study." "Here you are!" "You'll find a taxi stand about 21/2 miles down the road." "Wait a minute." "Here's a place." "Whew." "Pardon me for pointing, but what is this all about?" "What's all what about?" "Well, this rowboat, for one thing." "This isn't a rowboat." "It's a motorboat." "Oh, my error." "And what would a man like me be doing in this motorboat at this time of night?" "That's your second mistake." "You're not a man." "You're a woman." "Hey, now, look, boss, i've done a lot of screwy things for you." "I've been a nudist, a barking dog, i've even been a comanche indian on his first trip to new york, but i'll be doggone if i'm... well, i'm trying to re-enact a crime." "I'm trying to figure out how mrs." "Patterson was killed." "You're mrs." "Patterson." "Before or after?" "Both." "A star part, huh?" "Come on, come on, come on, get going." "Turn to the boathouse here." "Okay." "Say, i don't want to get into an argument with a mastermind, but what happens if mr." "Bannister's home?" "Not a chance." "He's at the st." "Regis having dinner with... with miss norwood, huh?" "You know me, i'm..." "i'm wrong about everything, but i'm just sap enough to believe that you're all burned up at him because of that gal." "Nuts, ain't i?" "Yes." "Can't understand how she could fall for a mug like that with something like you around, huh?" "When i want your views on life, i'll ask you for them." "Okay." "Got it?" "Get the rope." "Okay, i'll take it." "Hey, hey, suppose he comes home early." "Yeah, don't worry about him." "I'll handle him." "Yeah, like you did this afternoon... from a sitting position?" "No, i got him all figured out." "Now, you know, every time he's about to hit, he shifts." "And all i got to do is get him while he's shifting." "All i have to do to be president is to get the job." "Hey, where are you going?" "Don't leave me alone." "Okay, now, look, i'm going upstairs." "While i'm gone, i want you to holler as loud as you can." "Holler?" "Yeah, holler." "You feel all right, don't you?" "Don't worry about me." "You just holler." "How's this?" "Hey!" "No, no, no." "Well, is this all right?" "No, no, no." "What i mean is i want you to talk as loud as you can." "Oh!" "This thing is locked." "You know, i'd feel a lot better if we had a couple of cops with us." "Yeah, and every other paper in town would get the story but me." "Hello." "What's this?" "I can make it here." "I'll get onto this roof and then up through the window." "You wait here." "Oh, take it easy." "I don't want to row home alone." "Hey, look out." "Look up!" "Okay." "All right?" "Okay." "Everything's all set." "Now, as soon as you hear the music, start to chatter." "Did you say music?" "Yeah, yeah." "I'm gonna put on a record." "As soon as you hear it, start your loud talk." "Okay." "I hope my mother never hears about this." "You know we french stormed ratisbon!" "And on that storming day, on a little mound napoléon stood a mile or two away!" "The government..." "the government of the people... of the people and of the people shall not perish from this earth of the people." "Of the people!" "And while i'm about it, let me tell you a thing or two!" "If you think i'm gonna keep on slaving this way for peanuts, you're out of your mind!" "I want more dough!" "And not only that, i've got to have a little respect!" "I'm not gonna be treated like a guy that just takes pictures!" "I'm a photographer!" "I want respect!" "But first, i got to have more dough!" "Am i talking too loud?" "!" "I got to have more dough, working for a nut like you!" "I heard that last crack." "Why didn't you yell when the music started?" "I did yell." "Are you sure?" "Sure." "Listen." "You know we french stormed ratisbon!" "And on that... oh, that's great." "That's great." "Huh?" "I couldn't hear a word." "You couldn't hear it?" "No." "Say, what are we doing this for anyway?" "Now listen, listen." "Suppose you're mrs." "Patterson and you just came here." "I'm bannister, and you're in love with me." "Oh." "Yeah, but you know that i got sharon norwood upstairs, that i've been spending your dough on her." "What would you do?" "I'd holler my head off." "No woman's gonna come between me and the man i love." "You would holler your head off?" "You bet i would." "All right, let's hear you." "I'm mrs." "Patterson." "Yeah, you're mrs." "Patterson." "I'm bannister." "All right." "All right." "You let me go up there!" "I'm going to tell that so and so." "Julia!" "Julia!" "Now listen!" "Listen, tommy, i'm gonna tell her!" "Julia, julia!" "Julia, don't do that!" "hey, wait a minute." "You're choking me." "Now you're dead." "You think you're kidding?" "Now, wait a minute." "Let's try and figure this thing out." "Now, after he killed her and after he took shar... miss norwood home... hey, look, where was miss norwood when... when mrs." "Patterson was killed?" "I just showed you." "She was upstairs, playing the victrola." "Oh." "But bannister and norwood were here together until after 1:00." "And the wristwatch shows she was knocked off at 11:20." "Did you ever hear of a wristwatch being turned back?" "Oh." "There's no doubt the murder was committed around midnight." "But he was with sharon then." "If i could clear that up... um, only at the risk of boring you, what made you suspect this cluck at all?" "Mrs. Patterson's nightstand had been moved to put it into a position to smash the wristwatch." "Now, she was either killed by patterson or her sweetheart, and patterson was too drunk to figure out alibis." "You've got a mind like einstein, boss." "Thanks." "I mean mac einstein that runs the lunch room on beesy street." "All right, you mug, listen to this." "When i looked out of mrs." "Patterson's window and saw the staircase leading down to the boathouse, i realized then that the whole thing could be pulled by water, boathouse to boathouse." "What do you think of that?" "It fits all right." "Of course it fits." "After he took miss norwood home, he came back here, put the body in the cruiser, and went across, and somehow or other got mrs." "Patterson up into her bedroom where they later found her." "Uh, but the cruiser was found in the patterson boathouse." "Right." "So, how did he get home?" "By way of east orange or did he swim?" "You remember my telling you this guy was captain of his crew in college?" "Yeah." "Well, my theory is that when he went across in the speedboat, he took this racing scull with him, and then when he planted the body, he came back in this." "Oh!" "Yeah, come on, let's see how heavy this is." "Hey!" "Hey, boss, look!" "Somebody's coming!" "What?" "Yeah, look!" "Where?" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Wait a minute." "Put that thing down and come on!" "Get out of the way!" "Come on, come on, stupid." "Hurry up." "Get that thing untied." "Get the oars!" "Hey, what's going on here?" "Oh, just a little social visit, that's all." "Oh, it's you, huh?" "Yeah, yeah." "I don't believe you've met mr." "Parr." "Mr. Parr, this is mr." "Bannister." "Mr. Bannister, mr." "Parr." "Pleased to make your acquaintance, i'm sure." "Is this the guy that killed the lady?" "I've had enough of this, branch." "I'm gonna call the police." "Hey, that's the best idea you've had yet." "Perhaps then you can explain how that night table in mrs." "Patterson's bedroom happened to be moved so that her arm would hit it and smash her wristwatch?" "And while you're about it, tell the cops to bring a diver so we can find her vanity case." "What are you talking about?" "I'm talking about a vanity case mrs." "Patterson had the night she was killed." "It's missing now, and i have feeling we'll find it where she was killed." "And i think it was right here." "Get out of here!" "Mr. Bannister isn't himself tonight." "Perhaps we had better go." "Yeah, staying up too late, huh?" "Yeah, some nights." "Don't forget to tell the cops to bring the diver." "Silly fools." "I got to find some way to put an end to this." "That fellow branch is getting to be pretty... we, um... we have an appointment at the st." "Regis at 7:30." "Yes." "It's 8:00 now." "Yes, i'll go upstairs and change." "Come along." "It won't take a minute." "Won't be a minute." "Oh, tommy, you've still got these awful antiques." ""In the shade of the old apple tree. "" ""Then they'd row, row, row. " Hmm." ""Waltz me around again, willy. "" "Oh, well, this is better." "Say, tommy..." "i've just made up my mind what i'm gonna give you for christmas." "I'm gonna give you a brand-new record of that brand-new tune, "alexander's ragtime band. "" "How's about it, hmm?" "Tommy?" "Are you there?" "Tommy?" "Tommy?" "Going someplace?" "No, I-i was just a little bit chilly." "Oh, we'll fix that right up." "We'll have a fire." "There we are." "Cozy, isn't it?" "Mm-hmm." "I, uh..." "My shower was out of order, so i took a dip." "You saw me, didn't you?" "Yes." "Tommy, do you realize we have a dinner engagement?" "Oh, let's have a drink first." "But it takes over an hour to get there." "Oh, a couple of minutes more or less won't matter." "Sharon, darling, you're all upset about this silly business." "You've got that fellow branch on your mind, haven't you?" "Tommy, i really think we should go." "What was the latest idea that idiot had?" "Oh, yes, something about a vanity case." "We're dreadfully late, you know." "What of it?" "Let them wait." "They'll never miss us." "Besides, we've never really had an evening alone together?" "Tommy, i want to go, eh?" "I'll tell you, we'll have some of that good old bannister sherry." "Wait a minute." "What's the rush?" "You did." "You killed her!" "Sharon!" "Sharon!" "Let go of me!" "Let go of me, i tell you!" "There he is, boss!" "What?" "Look out." "Whew, wait a minute." "Yeah, well, pardon me for being late, bannister, but after i saw you dive, i had a little trouble getting out of your woodpile." "Remember the shift, boss!" "Call the police." "Yes, sir." "What's the number?" "Aah!" "3-100." "How'd you know about the vanity case?" "There wasn't any vanity case." "I made that one up." "Aah!" "Keep it up, boss." "I'll get my camera." "Oh!" "Oh, this is..." "this is terrible, terrible!" "Barlow." "Barlow:" "Yes, ma'am?" "Isn't this too awful?" "It is indeed, ma'am." "Oh, dear, oh, dear." "Has miss sharon gone for her ride yet?" "No, ma'am." "Miss sharon has not gone for her ride." "Oh!" "What time did she get in?" "About 5:00, ma'am." "5:00?" "This morning?" "Yes, ma'am." "Oh!" "Who brought her home?" "Mr. Branch." "Mr. Branch?" "What time did he leave?" "I don't think he has left, ma'am." "Barlow, really." "Ohh!" "Answer the bell, barlow." "Certainly, ma'am." "Oh, dear, oh, dear." "Good morning, barlow." "Good morning, sir." "Mrs. Norwood in?" "Yes, sir." "I shall like to see her." "Certainly, sir." "Oh, good morning, mrs." "Norwood." "Good morning, mr." "Jordan." "Uh, where's mr." "Branch?" "Mr. Branch?" "Yes." "W- w-w-what made you think he was here?" "Well, he telephoned the paper half an hour ago and told the desk how to handle the bannister case, then he hung up." "We found he telephoned from here." "From here?" "I see." "Yes." "B- but I-i'm sure..." "uh, i mean..." "I- i'd like to see mr." "Branch." "Yes, certainly, of course." "I mean, to be sure." "Barlow, where are they?" "I'm afraid they're in the guest room, madame." "Guest." "Shall i call mr." "Branch?" "Yes." "No, no, no!" "I'll do it." "If you would excuse me, just a minute." "Why, yes, of course." "But i would like to see mr." "Branch." "Yes, j- j-j-just a moment." "Sharon, how could you?" "Shh!" "Shh!" "Oh, I-i'm sorry." "Good morning, mr." "Jordan." "Mother, it was his idea." "The best idea i've ever had." "He said it was no use waking you up at 4:00 in the morning just to see us get married." "Married?" "!" "Oh!" "You see, they're married."