"Previously on "Rescue Me"..." "I think you're drinking too much." "And I think you're drinking for all the wrong reasons." "Give me another." "I'm learning a valuable lesson." "Pat Mahoney." "What the hell you doing here?" "I have cancer?" "I'm gonna lie in this room and nobody's gonna give a shit." "Don't worry about anything, OK?" "You're in good hands." "I'mma take care of everything." "The guys in my house wanted me to try to get information about your cookout." "Yeah, same with the guys in my house." "I thought you might have some answers." "Who is one person that's been there with you through the thick and the thin?" "My wife." "I can tell just looking at that picture that that is a woman you don't let slip away." "Maybe that's... what now." "Hey." "You have a clogged pipe." "You know." "Drain." "Yeah, so I called him." "You two have got to be shitting me." "Can you come pick me up?" "Did Colleen get into that bottle that we gave you?" "Here." "Let me tell you something else." "We laced the bottle." "So, my little girl is out there sick somewhere." "This is all my fault." "Just find her, Tommy." "I got her!" "Hey!" "Coll, honey?" "Hey." "Hey." "Hey." "Hey." "How you doing?" "Good." "Hey, what's the... the new meeting you're going to?" "Brand-new one." "Loose." "I think you're gonna like it." "I'll text you the info and the address later, ok?" "Nice to have you back in tow, brother." "Nice being back." "How are you feeling?" "Great." "Head's clear as a bell." "Nerves nice and calm and I remember everything I said and did last night." "Sucks." "But guess I gotta get used to it." "The new me." "I'm thinking of taking Colleen to this new meeting that Mickey's been talking about." "Well, good luck with that." "I just spoke with Sean." "She's staying at his house, coming home drunk every night." "So it's like, basically, the double barrel bender thing, the blackout thing never happened." "Yeah." "Apparently not." "I mean, she's young, dumb, and a Gavin." "Mm-hmm." "Hmm." "Welcome back to sobriety." "I just wish we could say the same to our daughter." "Maybe when she hits menopause." "Franco, get the saw." "We gotta cut the pin." " Alright." " Anybody got eyes on a driver?" " She's over there." " Go, Mike, go." "Hey, probie." "Grab some shears." "Come on!" "Hurry up!" "Hang on a second." "Hang on." "Hang on." "Come on." "Come on." "Come on." "Got her?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Bring her back." "I'm guessing she wasn't the designated driver." "You know, this is classic." "The drunk ones, they walk away unscathed." "Like goddamn rock 'em sock 'em robots." "Heads up." "Hang on, hang on." "Uhh." "Ok." "We're good." "Ok." "Hey, Tom." "Tom!" "What?" " Her neck is broken." " What?" "Tom!" "Her neck is broken, Tom." "What?" "Hey." "Hey, what are you doing to my sister?" "Hey!" "Hey!" "You get off of my sister!" "I'm gonna kill you." "I'm gonna kill you." "Get off of me." "You get off of me." "I have a party to get to." "She's gone, Tom." "Hey, guys, wanna come to the party?" "Yeah, yeah." "Where's the party?" "You're kind of cute." "Get off of me." "Hey." "So, where's this... where's this party?" "Where's this party at?" " Talk to us about the party." " Right over there." "Yeah?" "All right." "Don't touch me." " I'm really..." "I'm really..." " Thought I had her." "It's over there." "I don't want water." "I have to tell you where the party..." "She reminds you of someone, doesn't she?" " Hey." "Hey." "Get off of me." " Yeah." "They both do." "♪ On another day, c'mon, c'mon, with these ropes tied tight, can we do no wrong, now we grieve 'cause now is gone, things were good when we were young, when my teeth bite down, I can see the blood of a thousand men" "who have come and gone, now we grieve 'cause now is gone, things were good when we were young, is it safe to say?" "♪" "♪ c'mon, c'mon ♪" "♪ was it right to leave?" "♪" "♪ c'mon, c'mon ♪" "♪ will I ever learn?" "♪" "♪ c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon ♪" "Come on, man." "Make a move." "Hmm." "Jeez, Lou, what are you making over there?" "The smell alone is giving me a woody." "Well, you know what?" "That might be the most disturbing compliment that I've ever received, but fully understood and graciously accepted." "I am making chicken cutlets in a white wine, shallot, and mushroom reduction." "Ooh." "I think I just shot a little mushroom reduction of my own." "Ok, probie, I'm trying to read." "All right?" "I don't want to hear about your woody and your reduction." "You mean more than the usual?" "More than the usual?" "So, Lou, is this cook-off ever gonna jump off or what?" "Day after tomorrow." "Yeah, the wild men panicked after they heard we busted Lou out of the hospital and decided to postpone a couple days to restrategize." "Say it again." "No." "Didn't think so." "Yeah, so, we found out that they postponed how?" "Our probie found out from their probie Penny." "He's our inside man." "Oh, yeah." "I forgot about that." "So, what's up, probiscus?" "What's the 411?" "Did you actually get inside or you still on the outside looking in, huh?" "Look." "I already feel like a dick telling you guys about this cook-off shit." "I'm not about to spill the details of my getting into Penny's pants." "Yeah, outside looking in." "Ha ha." "Thought so." "The first date went to shit?" "No." "No." "All right, here's what happened, OK?" "I took her out for a nice dinner." "We got some beers afterwards." "We're talking, we're laughing, we're drinking." "I'm getting pretty shitfaced." "I go to the bathroom to take a leak, come back out and boom, she, uh," " she ditched me." " Oh!" "Of course she did." "What, did you take your shirt off?" "She got a little scared?" "Don't underestimate me, Garrity." " I don't do that." " Trust me, if I had to take my shirt off" "I guarantee I would've sealed the deal that night." "Chicks dig the white meat." "Oh, my God." "Not as much as they dig the dark meat, brother." "Sorry, Tom." "So, she effectively froze you out." " Maybe alcohol." " Maybe alcohol." "Not so fast, assholes." "We're going out again." "Really?" "You gonna call her and beg for a second date?" " That's kinda pathetic, bro." " No, she called me." "Mm." "Mysterious woman." "I likes that." "Hey, look." "Let's not forget the whole point of this is that our friend over here is gonna get us inside information on the Wild Men's menu, all right?" "And I want details." "Look, guys, this cookout's important." "We screw it up, may be the end of this house." "Don't forget that." "Jesus Christ." "I just shit an Inca temple." " Ha ha!" " I'm cooking here." "The goddamn thing had gold in it." "Here's the best part." "I barely had to wipe." " That's how perfect it was." " Wow." "Clean break." "One sheet." "Very impressed." "Congratulations." "Thank you." "I just made a great shit comparison." "You're not even gonna crack a smile for me?" "Congratulations." "All right." "She's not the first kid we lost, Tom." "She's not gonna be the last, either." "We can't save everyone." "No, we can't." "Let's go." "My reduction." "Don't worry about your reduction." "It's gonna be fine." "Tommy." "Let's go." "All right." "She reminds you of your daughter." "I get it, OK, Tommy?" "God forbid Colleen ever puts her or her sister in that situation but this is here and this is now." "We'll deal with that later." "Come on." "Remember Johnny Panface, Brooklyn 68 truck?" "Yeah." "Half-Irish, half-Asian." "He liked to get drunk and kick shit." "So?" "Two kids died on him one day on a call." "You probably remember this story." "And he..." "Got back to the firehouse and he..." "He peeled off and he walked away." "I think..." "I think he became a teacher." "Yeah, well, you ain't no teacher, Tommy." "Come on." "I used to..." "I used to think that he was nuts." "I mean, we all did, right?" "I'm..." "I'm starting to think maybe I'm... maybe... maybe..." "I don't know." "I tell you, Needs..." "Girl today..." "Uh..." "Hit me." "It's like I'm stuck in cement over here, man." "I can't..." "See, that's because there's no alcohol in your system, Tommy." "Just get up." "I ain't gettin' up." "Yo, come on." "We got a call." "What are you guys doing?" "Get on the rig." "Go get on the rig." "You, too." "All right, look." "We'll talk about it, all right?" "When I get back, we'll talk all about it." "Talk about this." "We'll talk about your daughters." "But right now, Tommy, your daughters ain't gettin' on that truck and heading into a possible life-and-death situation." "You know who is?" "Your nephew, Tommy." "And the rest of your crew." "All right." "You stay here." "And if you see your balls, pick 'em up." "When I get back, I'll staple them back on you." "Chicken shit," "62 truck, cancel that call." "1281 Amsterdam." "False alarm." "Copy." "What the hell was that?" "Might've lost a wheel." "I better check." "Hey, what's going on?" "Flat tire." "What do we got here?" "Oh, boy." "Nielsie." "Oh, shit." "You know, I would try mouth-to-mouth, but I only do that with live pussy." "Not that I remember." "Don't worry about it, Niels." "I didn't even see her." "Too bad Tommy isn't here to see this." "He hates cats." "Probably put you up for a medal, Niels." "Yeah, if he's not on his way to knitting class." "What is that supposed to mean?" "What do you think?" "He got a little rattled, that's all." "Yeah, well, you know what, Dame?" "A lot of guys get a little rattled and they never recover." "Spend the rest of their lives like cowards." "Whoa." "Who you are calling a coward?" "I think I was pretty clear the first time." "No." "No." "You got some balls, Franco." "You're the one trying to get with my man's wife behind his back." "You want to see a coward, try looking in the mirror, slick." "All right, bro." "You know, if that were true, that would make me an asshole, not a coward." "Be an asshole and a coward." "Look, I wasn't trying to get with her." "Oh, bullshit." "Just stop it." "You've been over there all the time." "When he's not there, there you are." "Prowling around his house and shit, Franco?" "Come on." "All right, well, you know what?" "Maybe if he was taking care of his own business, she wouldn't have be calling on me." "Whoa, whoa." "So now you gonna place some blame on her." "I mean, that sound like some coward-ass shit to me, son." "Yo, why don't you just step up and take some responsibility, punk?" "All right, you know what?" "I'll be stepping up, but I'll be stepping up your ass with my size 13s." "Yeah." "You want to talk about stepping up and taking responsibility?" "What about your drunk-ass girlfriend?" "How come you ain't keeping that pussy in line, bitch?" "Come on, come on, come on." "You want to fight?" "We can fight, man." "What's up?" "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey." "Let them fight." " What?" " There's nobody around." "This animosity has been building between these two." "We don't stop it now, it's gonna fester, it's gonna spread through the whole house." "We got enough of that shit going on right now." "So, we fight." "But listen." " When the fight is over, the argument is over, understood?" " Done." "All right." "Let's stop talking shit and let's go." "Don't go getting all spic on me and pull out a knife." "Yeah?" "Don't get all black on me and pull out a gun." "What's up?" "Come on." "Come on." "Oh, my God." "Gumball." "That's my cat." "Oh, no." "Please." "That's my cat." "All right, hey, folks, there's nothing to see here." "Just a couple of West Side Wild Men blowing off a little steam, so, go back to your houses." "Everything's..." "Oh, shit." "The men in blue." "You know, guys, don't even get out of the car." "It's all right." " It was just a little..." " Break this up." "Come on." "House fracas going on." "Nothing to worry about." "This ain't in house." "Step aside, fatty." "These are our guys." "You guys are out of line here." "Come on." "Come on." " It's like a family thing." " You guys are out of line." "You're not gonna get around me." "Ain't gonna get around me." "That's enough!" "Frankie, break these assholes up." "All right, knock it off." "Knock it off." "That's enough." "Enough." "Enough." " Come on, break it up." " He started it." "Walk away." "Walk away." "Come on, Lou." "Ah, look." "Nobody needs the paperwork." "I know I don't." "Let's walk away." "This never happened." "All right?" "Let's forget this happened." "You go back to your house." "We'll take care of this." "Everything'll be fine." "Thank you, gentlemen." "Thank you very much." "Jerk-off." "Nielsie." "I murdered Gumball." "No..." "Listen, Gavin isn't even in the mix." "See?" "I guess Tommy's not the cause of all your problems." "Go back to the rig and get the med kit." "Put Nielsie in there." "Nobody wants to see a goddamn Redwood cry." " Move." " Niels, get on the rig." "All this before lunch?" "Wasn't my fault." "I just want to go on record." "I did nothing but help break it up." "So, you're not afraid." "No." "You're just..." "Done." "Done." "Right." "I know you can't drink anymore, but I sure as hell can." "I think you are afraid." "I think..." "Are you ready for this?" "I think you're a coward." " Take it back." " It's true." "If you didn't have that baseball bat leaning against that wall next to you..." "I'd hit you so hard, you'd be shitting teeth for the next 10 days." "Take it back." "Take your best shot." "Sinner." "Demon." "Chickenshit." "Not afraid to hit a priest." "I got a cousin who's a priest." "Used to be a priest." "Hit him many, many times, even when he was wearing the collar." " Yeah?" " Yeah." "Yeah, well, you would've swung already if you didn't know inside that dick mick head of yours that I'm right." "I'm right as goddamn rain." "Coward." "You ain't afraid of fire." "Ain't afraid of running in there and staying in there longer than anybody else." "I've seen that with my own two eyes." "No." "As far as fire's concerned, you got a pair of titanium testicles." "So... it's gotta be something else that's stuck in your throat, instead of your balls." "And let me guess." "Karma." "I got you nailed down on this one, I think." "How's that?" "You feel like the nasty-ass, lousy behavior you indulged in, especially since 9/11... the sex, the booze, the egotistical stuff..." "It somehow gets all balanced out by what you do..." "Saving kids." "People." "Pulling people back from the brink." "But if these kids, if these people do not cooperate with you, if they die and they stay dead..." "No matter what kind of magic you try and work, the scores don't add up." "The bad karma gets the upper hand on the good karma." "You're screwed." "The people you're supposed to rescue?" "They don't do what you want." "Colleen... doesn't do what you want..." "So you know what you do?" "You quit." "You take the coward's way." "You quit." "Suck it up, brother." "Here's a headline for you..." "you ain't Jesus." "So just get back on that bus." "Go to work." "Some people die sober." "Some drunks..." "They won't die." "Who knows why?" "No." "You know what I believe in?" "What?" "I believe in karma." "I believe in good deeds done." "What else do we have on this earth?" "You... do what you can." "Be a man." "Jump off that rig, run into the fire, and breathe life back into a dead baby." "Pull a senior citizen back out into light of day." "That is legal tender come judgment day." "If you believe in judgment day." "You really don't... you don't..." "Believe in any of the traditional catholic heaven and hell and any of that stuff that's in the bible." "Nope." "I run a practical parish, thus, the baseball bat, the booze." "No hell, no heaven." "All right." "This is like... this is good." "This is like... you're like one of them guys the Jewish guys go and talk to." "Rabbi?" "No." "Shrink." "It's like when Jewish guys talk to a shrink." "This is..." "like it." "This is good." " Anytime." "You know where to find me." " Thanks, padre." " Ah, what'd I tell you?" " Always dreamed of this." " Ha ha ha." " The ballet." "Wow." "Hey, I was stationed at a house in this neighborhood about 15 years ago." "Always used to drive by this place at night going out to calls." "But this is the first time I ever been a part of it." "Man." "A night at the ballet." "A dream come true." "Yeah, what the hell *** in the ballet in the first place?" "Yeah." "You used to be, like, a dancer or something?" "No." "No." "I always wanted to have sex with a chick who could brush her hair with her feet." "Oh." "Who doesn't?" "Hey." "I want you guys to know." "State I'm in, a lot of clear thoughts bounce around my head." "Feel like I oughta let you know a couple of them." "Ok." "Now that I'm facing the end, I got a couple of regrets." "Yeah, I'll bet." "Like cleaning up down at ground zero all that time?" "No." "Even though, like, it might be the reason, you know..." " What?" "I'm dying?" " Hey." "No, no." "No." "It's OK, Sammy." "These regrets are more... profound." "You know, like..." "I always wanted to punch Dr. Phil in the face." "Oh, yeah." "Me, too." " And Regis." " Oh." "He bugs me." "Yeah." "Kids." "You want to punch kids?" "Ooh, like that kid from "The Sixth Sense"?" "I always wanted to punch him right in the face." "No." "No." "I don't want to punch any kids." "How about that little shit from "Jerry Maguire"?" "God." "Ok, maybe I'd punch him but really, I just regret not having any." "Oh." "That's it?" "Yeah." "But hey, let's get rid of this downer shit." "This..." "Seeing the ballet, this is gonna overcome a lot of regrets." "I mean, maybe not the kid thing, but definitely the... bopping famous assholes in the face thing." "I mean, see," "I was always afraid to come here with other firemen because" "I figured they'd just, you know, be so bored they'd fall asleep..." "Or break my balls about it." "Hey, not a chance this time, pal." "We are looking forward to it." "Ooh." "Hot dancer chicks in leotards?" "Any guy who slept through that would have to be gay, right?" "You've got that right, bro." "Gentlemen, the ballet awaits." "So, you said Teddy was coming." "He's supposed to be." "I think he's running a little late." "Hi." "I'm Maggie and I'm an alcoholic." "Hi, Maggie." "Hi." "And when I say alcoholic, I mean like a gimungous alcoholic." "We're talking, like, Babe Ruth-style drinking records that may never be broken." "What?" "It's anonymous." "Technically, I'm not even supposed to say she's here." "Technically?" "...All in one night, and not only did I not puke, I met a cute guy, we went out dancing, and we went back to my pad and banged each other until 8 A.M. the next day." "All without blow." "But that might have been at his place." "Is there anyone coming back or just new from a relapse that'd like to say hi?" "Tommy?" "Yeah." "That's my... my..." "Yeah." "He's the one I was telling you about here last week." "My brother Tommy." "He is a raging alcoholic." "He makes me look like Shirley goddamn Temple." " Um, Mickey." "I'm an alcoholic, everybody." "Not for nothing..." " Hi, Mickey." "Hi, everybody." "Even though he is a raging bull of a boozehound, you know, he's back." "I'll give him that." "Mickey's right, and he's not the only one coming back tonight." "Is he, Uncle Teddy?" "You wanted to go with your Uncle Teddy." "This is a real special place." "Come on." "Nice, big hall." "We're gonna have a ball." "Is that aunt Maggie?" "I didn't know you were drinking again." "Do you think she [indistinct]?" "Why don't you sit yourself down right over here?" "Why?" "Yeah." "You'll be good." "Dad?" "Ok, wait a minute." "Uncle... no." "This is a goddamn AA meeting?" "Sit down and shut up." "It's only gonna take a minute or two." "Maybe 3." "Hi, everybody!" "How's it hanging?" "Well, well, well, if this doesn't suck my sack." "Why don't you introduce yourself?" "Oh." "Yeah." "Right." "Hi." "My name is Teddy Gavin, and not only am I an alcoholic, but I also got a glass of whiskey right here in my goddamn hand." "Hi, Teddy." "And this here's Colleen, my niece, who's also an alcoholic but is not really up to admitting it and owning up to it right now." "Hi, Colleen." "Whoa." "That, my fellow juiceheads, is the last drink I shall ever draw." "I gave up my... sobriety a few weeks back, and I'll tell you why." "Because I wanted this chick right here, who swore to her dad that she was just gonna drink wine instead of giving up booze altogether." "I wanted to compress what may have taken two decades to flourish into a big drinking problem and I have it all happen in two weeks." "Speaking of owning up, I've been taking her everywhere." "To every dive bar, every scumbag-filled, whore-packed joint in the city, and it still ain't makin' a dent." "Well, who do we have to blame for that?" "Let him talk." "Let him talk." "It's your fault." "The both of you." "You're both complicit." "You... you put that bottle in my hand, OK?" "She could've died, for chrissakes." " I was trying to help her." " Oh, really!" "You put some GHB in a high-end bottle of whiskey?" "What'd you say?" "Just enough to mess them up a little bit." "Just sort of like liquid roofies, you know?" "And not only does he take her out on a bender with him, but he leaves her on a beach drunk." "And now she won't even stop." "Ok." "That's not my fault." "You guys put liquid roofies into the whiskey bottle, and you're trying to blame me?" "I thought I was doing the right thing." " What do you mean?" " Shut up." "Maggie, this is private." "Why don't you come here and make me, Tommy?" "That's why we're here." "Don't you go anywhere." "Get back here." "Listen, you talk about it right in here." " Shut up." " No, I'm not gonna shut up." "Hey, hey, you two break it up for God's sake." "Stop!" "Maple syrup." "Shh." "So, what's the deal with your uncle?" "Are they gonna shitcan him?" "Tommy?" "No." "No, him and Needles go way back." "Plus, the department's tried to kick him out, like, a thousand times before and it's never worked." "Thank you." "So, what do you think happened to him?" "I think he got scared." "That surprise you?" "No." "I think he's scared." "I think we're all scared." "Aren't you?" "Come on." "Yeah, I'm scared." "Me, too." "Yeah, you mentioned that already." "Mention it again and I might not sleep with you." "Mention what again?" " That was great." " I feel so rested." "Those seats were the real deal." "Weren't they, though?" "So plush." " So soft, bro." " Aah!" "Jesus Christ." " What, did he see something?" " Aah!" "Jeez." "Come on." "Pat." "You all right?" " I don't wanna die." " Ok." " Goddamn it, I don't want to die." " Ok." "Then what'd I do it all for?" "I mean, helping dig them guys out, doing the right thing, for what?" "For 40 grand a year?" "Nobody's gonna remember me, what I done down there, not the way..." "Not the way they're gonna remember what that ballerina did in there tonight." "That's true." "My God, did you see that thing she did, like, the pretzel move with her leg, like, up behind her..." "You were asleep already?" "Bro, that was 5 minutes in." "Dude, I told you to wake me for any hot stuff, dude." "You did not." "Shit." "I must've dreamt that." "But I did see, like, the whole clenched ass thing toward the end with the walnuts." "The walnuts?" "Why didn't you wake me for that?" "Oh, wait." "Sorry, dude." "False alarm." "I must've dreamt that, too." "Great." "Holy shit." "Pat, what are you doing, man?" "I am gonna piss in this fountain." "I asked if you had to go when were still inside." "Uhh." "That ballerina." "When I looked at her," "I thought to myself, what power, what beauty, what grace." "Ok." "Wouldn't I like to nail that?" " yeah." " Only I can't." "All that chemo gave me dysfunctional junk." "I'm only a shadow of the man I used to be." "I am an impotent, cancer-ridden, no-ballerina-banging loser." "And if that is what my life is gonna be, I am gonna piss in this goddamn fountain." "Listen." "Hey." "Come here." "Uh-oh." "Come here." "Hey." "Come here." "Sit down." "Turn around." "You all right?" "Take a load off." " Jesus." "You OK?" " I'm good." "Breathe deep." "All right." "You know what we're gonna do for you?" "We're gonna piss in the fountain." "Come on." "I don't have to go, dude." "Yeah, neither do I. Shit." "Well, let's go get some beers and we'll come back." "You know, I don't care who it is or what they have to say." "I ain't quitting." "All right." "Just do me the favor of listening to this person, OK?" "Doesn't work," "I wash my hands and you can go on and do whatever you want." "You just woke up, you know, from an alcohol-induced coma on a beach." "You could've drowned." "They just said it was a laced bottle." "It wasn't regular booze." "I drank a whole bottle of whiskey and never even came close to blacking out." "And you don't think you have a problem." "You do it all the time." "You know, my only problem right now is you." "And mom." "And money." "How often do you drink?" "You know, whenever." "So whenever." "Whenever I'm awake." "Do you drink to forget?" "You bet your ass." "What is it you're trying to forget?" "Everything." "Go ahead." "Sorry." "No ice." "Drink." "She's gonna want to forget what I'm about to say next." "The booze isn't the answer you need, sweetheart." "Booze is a dead end." "You drink to forget... good." "You want to drink to forget... good." "But what it is you're trying to forget is gonna be staring right back at you whenever you decide to sober up." "Thou shall not kill." "Thou shall not lie." "Honor thy father and thy mother." "No sex before marriage." "No jealousy." "No cursing." "Shit, how about you say "no fun"?" "Because that's what my life is." "It's no fun." "Unless I'm drinking." "When I'm sober, I am just waiting for the news that my father got burned up or shot dead or is leaving my mom again or sleeping with my aunt." "You don't have enough commandments for him to break." "You know, when I am sober, I am fighting with my boyfriend or hating my sister or watching the time crawl by on the wall clock at work, wishing that I was anywhere else." "But when I am drunk, my dad's the best dad in the world." "Work's just great, my sister's an angel, and my mom's my best friend." "So, I ain't quitting'." "This bullshit..." "You, Jesus, God..." "None of this shit ever did me any good." "Until tonight." "Because tonight, I've had a couple free drinks." "So, I say amen to that." "So long, father." "See you in hell, dad." "You know, we only perform exorcism usually on one person at a time." "But I think for the Gavin family, I'll have to give you a group rate." "I'm sorry, Tom." "I have to go now." "I have to get back to the rectory." "Thanks." "Colleen." "Hey." "What?" "I got your bag." "How you getting home?" "I texted Sean while your priest friend was mouthing off." "Did you know that you..." "You were never baptized?" "Little-known fact." "When you were born, you ingested some fluids and you got an infection." "So, they had you in the hospital hooked up to a couple of machines for about a month." "The idea of bringing you into an environment like this so you could be surrounded by strangers and have your head dunked underwater was..." "No, neither one of us had ever known any kid that had been baptized who didn't cry." "We decided to have Uncle Mick come over to the apartment and he did the honors." "Little official, unofficial thing, but done deal nonetheless." "Boo hoo." "God!" "Jesus!" "dad!" "What the hell are you doing?" "For your own good." "No." "Goddamnit." "No!" " God..." "Damn..." " Listen." "Stop it." "Dad!" "What are you doing?" "Dad!" "Goddamn it." " Stop it." " Dad!" " Stop it." " Dad, let go of me." "Dad!" "Stop." "Stop." " Dad." " Dammit." "What are you doing?" "Dad!" "Mom is gonna be so pissed!" "Mom's gonna be so... goddamnit!" "Dad!" "Dad, where the hell are you?" "Why are you doing this to me?" "Dad!" "Get me out of this!" "Dad!" "Dad, answer me." "What are you doing?" "What are you doing?" "Dad!" "What are you... crazy." "I never want to talk to you ever again." "God, get me out of here." "Dad!" "Oh!" "I'll tell you what." "After you leave here, you can do whatever you want with the rest of your life." "You can drink." "You can smoke." "You can go to hell for all I care." "But for the next 5 minutes, your ass is still mine." "You're holding me hostage." "It's against the law." "Dad, let me go." "God." "Stop looking at me." "You never had kids." "You wouldn't understand." "Get up." "Stand up." "Dad!" "What are you doing?" "Daddy, what are you doing?" "Now listen to me." "Do you reject Satan?" "Go to hell." "Do you reject Satan?" "I hate you!" "Then stop, OK?" "Listen to me." "Do you reject Satan?" "What the hell are you doing?" "Mind your own business." "I swear to God, you come any closer, I'll knock you into next week." "Let her up." "Let her up." "Let her up." "Do you reject Satan and his empty promise of..." "What else do I say?" "What are you looking at me for?" "You seem to be doing fine." "That's only because I've seen "The Godfather" like 900 goddamn times." "What else do I say?" "Uh..." "You don't know?" "I..." "I only saw "The Godfather" twice." "Do you reject sin so as to live in the freedom of God's children?" "Yes." "Do you reject the glamour of evil so as not to be mastered by sin?" "Yes." "Fine." " Do you believe in the Holy Spirit?" " Yes!" "The communion of saints?" "The forgiveness of sin?" "Yes, goddamnit, yes." "Aah!" "Ok, Tommy." "Tom, please." "Let her up." "Hey, whoa..." "Ooh." "Jeez." "Oh, my God." "Wait." "Jeez." "Uhh." "Come on, Col. Come on." "Colleen!" "Colleen!" "Tommy, what happened?" "What happened?" "She OK?" "Yeah, yeah." "Get some towels in the sacristy." "Come on, baby." "Yeah, that's it." "Come on." "All right." "Look, she's all right." "She's OK." "Thanks." "Put the other one over there." "Oh." "There you go." "You OK?" "All right." "There we go." "Looks like sister Rosemary called the law." " Oh, shit." " I'll go see what I can do." "Uh-huh." "It's OK." "Here." "Let me have this." "Well, thank God you've done your job." "Now we'll let them do theirs." " All right." " All right." "Keep an eye on her for me." "It's OK, baby." "It's OK." "Colleen." "It's OK."