"I feel certain that I'm going mad again." "I feel we cannot go through another of these terrible times and I can't recover this time" "I begin to hear voices... and cannot concentrate." "So I am doing what seems to be the best thing to do." "You have given me the greatest possible happiness." "You have been in every way all that anyone would be." "I know that I am spoiling your life... and without me you could work... and you will." "I know." "You see I cannot even write this properly." "What I want to say is that I owe all the happiness of my life to you." "You have been entirely patient with me... and incredibly good." "Everything is gone for me... but this certainity of your goodness." "I cannot go on spoiling your life any longer." "I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been." "Virginia." ""THE HOURS"" "good days, doctor." "Mr." "Woolf." "I don't see him very lively." "I already see." "That it is in the place to the one that belongs." "City of New York." "Good morning, Leonard." "Good morning, Virginia." "How was your sleep?" "Uneventful." "headaches?" "no, no headaches." "Scanty in words." "that's whole from this morning?" "yes." "This infant submitted his manuscript." "I found 3 errors of fact... and 2 spelling mistakes... and I am not yet on page 4." "You had breakfast?" "yes." "Liar." "Victoria your existence in this life... you owe it to the doctors." "Nurse Nelly has left fruit in the pantry." "Right, then in the lunch... a proper lunch, husband and wife sitting together... soup...putting it all." "By force if it is necessary." "Leonard, I believe I may have a first sentence." "work then." "Then you must eat." "Mrs. Dalloway said... she would buy the flowers...herself" "Mrs. Dalloway said she would buy the flowers herself." "Sally, I think that I will buy the flowers myself." "What?" "What flowers?" "Shit." "You are never gonna be a big boy if you don't eat your breakfast." "You are gonna be the big brother, that it is an important job." "Happy Birthday." "Good morning, honey." "Oh, Gives." "Roses on your own birthday." "You are too much, really." "The gentleman chose for you." "It is your birthday, It should have been I buying the flowers." "oh, you were still sleeping." "so?" "Well, we decided it would be better to let you sleep in a little, didn't we?" "." "Good morning, bug." "And you need to rest, Laura." "They are only four months away." "Don't." "I am fine." "I'm just tired." "I have been telling him if he's gonna eat his breakfast." "That's true." "So, It is a beautiful day." "What are two of you be doing?" "We have got our plans." "Don't we?" "What plans?" "Well, you wouldn't be much for party if I ever told you every detail in advance." "Well I'd better stop asking questions, huh?" "Look at the time, I better get going." "Have a good day." "You too." "Dan, Happy Birthday." "Oh, thank you." "You have not finished your breakfast." "I am gonna make a cake." "That's what I'm gonna do." "I am gonna make a cake for dady's birthday." "Mommy, can I help?" "Can I help make the cake?" "Of course you can, sweet pea." "I am not gonna do anything without you." "No, of course, you have to come." "Of course." "I have always wanted you Ann." "Everybody involved in the actual ceremony." "I don't know." "Around sixty?" "Well it will... it would mean so much." "The whole occasion." "it's the least I can do to have a nice dinner to say thank you everybody." "You have done so much for him." "Oh, I think that was a yes." "He'll be thrilled." "Oh, my god." "Oh that's great.I'm thrilled.Oh good -what if nobody comes?" "This is Clarissa Vaughan." "Yes I'm just confirming that you're sending a car to pick me up first." "hi Clarissa." "hi Brenda." "And then going over 679 Hudson which is 9 40." "Then you will take me uptown and you will wait for us... it will be over 7 00." "Flowers." "what a beautiful morning." "Hi, Clarissa." "How are you?" "I am having a party." "My friend Richard's won the Carrouthers." "Well, that is terrific... if I knew what it was." "It is a poetry prize... for a life's work." "It is the most prestigious." "For a poet, it is the best you can do." "Oh, very good." "So what would you like the lillies are perfect." "No, too morbid." "Hydrangeas, I think." "And... oh, letis just have buckets of roses." "And..." "I think lim gonna take these with me." "Rodney." "Thank you." "I actually tried to read Richard's novel." "You did?" "Oh, I know." "It is not easy." "I know." "It did take him 10 years to write." "Maybe just takes another 10 to read." "it's you, isn't it?" "what is?" "In the novel." "She meant to be you." "Oh, I see." "Yes, sort of." "I mean, in a way." "Richard is the writer." "That's what he is." "It -uses things which actually happened." "Yes." "Ten years ago he and I were students, that is true." "but you know then he changes things." "Oh, sure." "I don't mean in a bad way." "It is more like he makes it his own..." "A woman' whole life... in a single day." "Just one day." "And in that day... her whole life." "This is what we need, short nail." "Mrs. Dalloway." "it's you?" "yes." "It is me.It's me." "Come in." "Oh, Richard, it is a beautiful morning." "How about, we let in a little more light." "Is it still morning?" "Yes, it is." "Have I died?" "Good morning, my dear." "Any visitors?" "Yes." "Are they still here?" "No, they have gone." "How they looked?" "today?" "Sort of like black fire." "I mean sort of light and dark at the same time." "There was one that looked like an electrified jellyfish." "He was singing." "May have been Greek." "So, the ceremoníal is at 5." "Do you remember?" "And then... the party is right after." "They didn't bring you the breakfast, didn't they?" "What a question." "Of course." "Richard, you did eat it?" "can you see it?" "Is it here?" "Do you see a breakfast lying around?" "No, I don't see it." "Oh then I must have eaten it." "Wasn't I?" "I suppose." "Does it matter?" "Of course it matters." "You know what the doctors say." "Have been skipping pills?" "Of course, I cannot take this." "To take what?" "To try to be proud and brave... in front of everybody." "Honey, it is not a performance." "Of course it is." "I have gotten the prize for my performance." "That is nonsense." "I have gotten the prize for having AIDS, going nuts... and being brave about it." "actualy got that prize for having come through." "no it is true." "To survive then..." "no it is true." "...that's what I got the prize for." "you think that they would have given it to me if I were healthy?" "yes, as a matter of fact, I do." "Is it here somewhere?" "What?" "The prize?" "I'd like to look at it." "No, you know, you have not gotten it yet." "It is tonight." "Are you sure?" "I remember the ceremony perfectly." "It seemed to have fallen out of time." "Richard." "Richard." "It is a party." "It is only a party." "Populated entirely by people who respect and admire you." "A small party, is it?" "Select party, is it?" "Your friends." "I thought I lost all my friends." "I thought I drew my friends crazy." "Jesus." "Oh, Mrs. Dalloway  always giving parties... to cover the silence." "Richard... you won't need to do anything, all you have to do is appear... sat on the sofa." "And I will be there." "This is a group of people... who want to tell you your work is going to live." "Is it?" "Is my work going to live?" "I cannot go through with the Carrouthers." "Why do you say that?" "I can't." "Why?" "Because I wanted to be a writer, that is all." "So?" "I wanted to write about it all." "everything that happens in a moment." "The way the flowers look, when you care them in your arms." "it's towl, how it smells... how it feels... it's thread." "All our feelings yours and mine." "The history of it." "Who we once were." "Everything in the world." "Everything all mixed up." "Like it is all mixed up now." "And I failed." "I failed." "No matter what you start being and end up with being so much less." "share fucking pride." "A stupidity." "Do we want everything, don't we?" "I suppose we do." "You kissed me on a beach." "yes." "Do you remember?" "How many years ago." "Of course." "Why did you want it.." "that?" "Come closer." "I am right here." "Come closer." "Would you please?" "take my hand." "Would you be angry...?" "would I be angry if you didn't show up in the party?" "Would you be angry if I died?" "If you died?" "Who is this party for?" "What do you mean who is it for?"" "Why are you asking?" "What are you trying to say?" "I am not trying to say anything." "I'm saying, I think I'm only staying alive to satisfy you." "well, so that is what we do." "That is what people do." "They stay alive for each other." "The doctors told you." "You don't need to die." "They have told you that." "You can live like this way per years." "Well, exactly." "I don't accept this." "I don't accept what you say." "and it's for you to decide?" "How long have you been doing that?" "How many years... cleaning the apartment?" "What about your own life?" "What about Sally?" "Just wait till I die." "And then you will have to think of yourself." "And you're going to like that." "Richard... it would be great if you did come to the party." "If you feelt well enough to come." "Just let you know I'm making the crab thing." "not that I mention it makes any difference to you." "Of course it makes the difference." "I love the crab thing." "Clarissa." "yes?" "I will be back at 3.30." "So you will hardly get dressed." "Wonderful." "At three thirty." "Wonderful." "It is on this day...puts this day of all days." "Her fate becomes clear to her." "Excuse me, Mrs. Woolf." "Mr. Woolf said I was to come and speak with you." "Nearly finished, Nelly." "Wait to me in the kitchen.I'll be done very soon." "What happens if she says she does something?" "and turns out she doesn't?" "Oh, and she never does it, does she?" "she never wants anything." "But what she wants is particularly out reach... it was a showside." "I wish I had been there." "I wish she had told." "but you gave her that look.I saw him look you doing." "I said, imagine..." "Yes, Nelly, tell me." "How can I help?" "It is about lunch." "I just have to go ahead on my own." "I understand." "you chose a pie?" "I chose a lamb pie." "It seems suitable." "you've been so busy with your writing..." "I had no instructions." "You do remember that my sister is coming... at four with the children?" "Yes, Mrs.." "I have not forgotten." "China tea, I think." "And ginger." "ginger, Madam?" "I like to give the children a treat." "We have to go to London for ginger Madam..." "I have not finished this, there is the rest of the lunch to get ready." "12:30 train will get you in London just after 1... if you return on the 2:30 you will be back in Richmond soon after 3." "Do I miscalculate?" "No." "Then is it something entertaining you Nelly?" "I cannot see anything else easier than a trip to London." "Good morning, Mrs. Woolf." "Good morning." "We should publish no more new authors." "I have to tell I have discovered ten errors in the first proof." "Lucky that you've found them then." ""Pasandel, was, a channel house..."" ""from which no men returned."" "Do you think it's possible bad writing actually attract the higher incidents of era?" "If it is all right I thought I might take a short walk." "Will you take a lot?" "No, it will be short." "Go then." "If I could walk every morning I would be a happy man." "She will die." "She is going to die." "That is what's going to happen." "she will kill herself." "she will kill herself over something which doesn't seem to matter." "Let's think." "You have to grease the pan mommy." "I know it is good to grease the pans sweet pea even the mommy knows that." "This is what we gonna do." "Flour." "bowl." "sifter." "Can I do it mommy?" "Can you sift the flour?" "yes... you can sift the flour baby, if that's what makes you happy." "isn't it beautiful?" "Don't you think it looks like snow?" "okay." "Now... the next thing, next thing I'm gonna show you is to measure of the cups." "Mommy, it isn't that difficult." "No, I know that it isn't difficult." "It is just that I... just wanna do this for daddy." "Because it is birthday?" "that's right." "We are baking the cake to show him that we love him." "otherwise he won't know we love him?" "that's right." "I have got all the stuff." "I'm going right out again." "My God, what a zoo." "Why do people have to talk about dry cleaning?" "what is it to tal about?" "I bought you some flowers." "Where are you?" "in here." "I found somebody in the work to cover me." "I will be with you all night." "Are you all right?" "Sure." "I guess you saw Richard." "that's right." "well, of course." "I bet he said:" "Oh, by the way honey, do you mind, can I skip the party?" "Don't worry, he always shows up... oh sure." "in the end." "What?" "Richard miss the chance to talk about his work?" "I don't think so." "He will show up." "You did the seating?" "I did." "I don't believe it." "Louis Walters." "Is Louis coming?" "Richard's Louis?" "he is." "You put him next to me." "Why do I always have to sit next to the ex's... is that some kind of a hand sweetheart?" "anyway, there should be a ex's table of their own where they can all... ex together... with exquisite agony...?" "I'm off." "try to pass out from excitement." "Clarissa, it is going to be beautiful." "Thank you." "you're welcome." "Why is everything wrong?" "It didn't work." "Damn it." "It didn't work" "Hey, Scott." "Hi, Mrs. Barlow." "Mommy, mommy, there is someone at the door." "Hello?" "Laura?" "Hi Kitty," "Hi Am I attracting?" "oh of course not, come in." "Are you all right?" "why, sure." "Hi, Richie." "Sit down, I have got coffee off." "would you like some?" "Please." "oh look, you made a cake." "I know." "It didn't work." "I thought that it was gonna work." "I thought that it would work better than that." "Laura, I don't understand why you find it so difficult." "I don't know." "anyone can make a cake." "It's ridiculously easy." "like, I bet you didn't grease the pan." "I greased the pan." "All right." "Do you know?" "You have other aptitudes..." "And Dan.." "he won't even notice." "whatever you do he is gonna say it is wonderful." "well, it is true." "Does Ray have a birthday?" "sure he does." "When is it?" "September." "We'll go to the country club." "We always go to the country club." "We drink martinis, and spend the day with fifty people." "Ray has got a lot of friends." "yes he does." "you both have a lot of friends." "You are good at it." "How is Ray?" "I have not seen him in a while." "Ray is fine." "These guys are something, aren't they?" "Yes." "You can say that again." "He came home from the war." "They deserved it, didn't they.." "after what they have been through." "what, did they deserve?" "i don't know.Us I guess." "All this." "You are reading a book." "What is this one about?" "It is about..." "This woman is incredibly." "well, she is a hostess, and she is incredibly confident." "She is going to give a party." "And may be because she's confident everyone thinks she is fine." "But she isn't." "So?" "Kitty, what is it?" "Is something wrong?" "I have to go to the hospital for a couple of days." "Kitty..." "I have some kind of a quills in my uterus and... they are gonna go in and take a look." "When?" "This afternoon." "I need you to feed the dog." "Of course." "Is that what you came here to ask?" "What did the doctors say exactly?" "It is probably trouble with the spine" "About getting pregnant." "The thing is that..." "I mean, you know..." "I have been really happy with Ray." "And now it is that there is a reason, there is a reason I couldn't conceive." "You are lucky Laura." "I don't think you can call yourself a woman until you are a mother" "Where the joke is... all my life I could do everything." "I mean, I could do anything, really." "Except the one thing I wanted." "yes." "that's all." "At least now they will be able to deal with it." "That's right.That's what they'll be doing." "I am not worried." "what would be the point of worrying?" "No, it is not in your hands." "That's it." "It is in the hands of some physician I have never even met." "Some surgeon who probably drinks more martinis than Ray." "Oh, Kitty." "I mean, I am so worried by Ray." "Come here." "I am doing fine, really." "I know." "I know that you are." "I am more worried about Ray." "if anything is not good with this stuff." "Forget about Ray." "Just forget about Ray." "You are sweet." "You know the routine, right?" "Half a can in the evening and to check the water now and then and..." "Ray will feed him in the morning." "Kitty, you didn't mind?" "What?" "I didn't mind what?" "Do you want me to drive you?" "I think I'll feel better if I drive myself." "Kitty, it's gonna be all right." "Of course it is." "Bye." "What?" "What do you want?" "Mr. Woolf, Mrs. Bell has arrived." "Not due till 4." "I cannot help that..." "She is here." "You look a perfect angel ... don't let the boys make fun of you." "Fly away." "Virginia." "Leonard thinks he sees end of civilization people are invited to 4... and arrived at 2.30." "Oh God." "Barbarians." "We have finished lunch sooner than we imagined." "I'd have to send Nelly of to London for sugar ginger." "No Virginia." "You have lots of frightened of servants, are you?" "Come on." "And how are you sister?" "Frantic, it has been ridiculous in London." "Ridiculous?" "How?" "Busy." "Why is busy ridiculous?" "I would have invited you to our party but..." "I knew you would not come." "Did you?" "How did you know that?" "I thought you will never come to town." "must because you no longer ask me." "only if you are not forbidden to come." "do the doctors not forbit it?" "The doctors..." "You are not paying to heal to doctors?" "Not when they are a bunch of contemporary Victorians." "What are you saying?" "Are you feeling better?" "has this fastness made you stronger?" "I'm saying Vanessa, that even crazy people has right to be asked." "Nessa, Nessa, Nessa..." "Hello changelings." "What have you got?" "what have you found?" "We found a bird." "Did you?" "Where did you find that?" "I think he must have been fallen from a tree." "Oh my Goodness.Just look at him." "You konw you have to save him." "To save him?" "I think you have to be careful Quentin." "There is a time to die and it's maybe the bird's time." "Come on, Let's pick grass to make him a grave." "Oh Julián." "Just saying." "At least he'll have a bed to lie on." "come on Nessa, let us make a grave." "Nessa, come on." "God, very well, I'm heading." "Wait for me than." "Angelic, he'll be all right?" "You go very quickly." "Do you think she liked roses?" "Is this a she?" "yes, the female is larger... and less colorful." "What happens when we die?" "What happens?" "We return to the place that we came from." "I don't remember where I came from." "Nor do I." "She gets very small." "Yes, that's one of the thinks that happens." "We look small." "and very peaceful." "has it done?" "have you finished?" "Is the bird funeral complete?" "Yes." "Very well then, I not wait for you angered for coming so early." "Not of course not." "come on boys We will have tea." "Oh, stop it Julián." "Julián go inside." "Hey Bug." "I've got this idea." "We're gonna make another cake." "We're gonna make a better one." "What happened to the first one?" "And after that I think we should go out." "yes?" "Clarissa?" "It's Louis." "Louis Waters." "Louis?" "Oh my God, you're early." "Do you mind?" "Is it all right?" "Why should I mind?" "I am delighted." "well, hello." "I feel like I interrupted." "why, no?" "I know... that the ceremony is up to 5... but I flew this morning." "Well, Richard's going to be thrilled." "He will be thrilled to see you." "You think so?" "of course." "What are we doing?" "We should go in." "Are you all right?" "Yes." "It is nothing." "It's just the party." "Oh, right." "Oh, wow.it is looking beautiful." "thanks." "Are you still with...?" "Yes, I am." "I'm still with her." "Ten years." "It is crazy." "why is it crazy?" "No reason." "Would you like something to drink?" "some water." "okay." "Are you still an editor?" "Oh, sure." "with the same publisher?" "Hhm hhm." "How is San Francisco?" "It is one of those cities people tell you to like." "Richard said he thought you were happy out there." "Great." "It's another illness makes him psychic." "You have to prepare yourself Louis." "He is very changed..." "I've read the book." "Oh God." "Exactly." "I thought he meant to do more than just change people's names." "well..." "isn't it meant to be fiction." "He even had your living on 10th street." "Is it me." "isn't it?" "You know how Richard is." "It is a fantasy." "A whole chapter on should she buy some nail polish... and than guess what, after 50 pages she doesn't." "the whole thing seems to go on for eternity, and nothing happens and then wow." "for no reason she kills herself." "His mother kills herself yes sure, his mother but still for no reason." "well I think..." "out of the blue." "I know the book is tough." "but I like it." "I know." "Only one thing upset me." "What's that?" "What upset you?" "Well that there was not more about you." "That's kind." "I went back to Welfleed." "you did?" "One day." "I didn't tell you?" "No, but then I'd never seen you." "You remember the house?" "it still there." "I think you're courageous." "courageous?" "Why?" "To there,go visit." "What I mean is to face the fact... that we have lost those feelings forever." "Mierda." "Clarissa?" "I don't know what's happening?" "." "I'm sorry." "I am in a strange sort of mood." "It is very rude of me." "I seem to be unraveling." "I shouldn't have coma." "no, it's not you, it's not you." "It is having a premonition, do you know what i mean?" "oh god, probably just being nervous about the party." "I know I'm a bad bad hostess." "Clarissa what's happening?" "Jesus." "what is it?" "Do you want me to go?" "no, don't go." "don't go, explain to me why this is happening." "don't, don't touch me." "Jesus, it's better if you don't." "It's just too much." "You're flying from San Francisco... and I have been nursing Richard for years." "And all the time I held myself together..." "no problem." "I know." "One morning in Welfleed, you were there... we were all there..." "I'd been sleeping with him and I was out of the back porch... he came right behind me, and he put his hand on my shoulder." "Good morning Mrs. Dalloway." "I had been all night being stucked." "Stucked?" "With the name I mean." "And now you, walking... just see you walking because I never see you..." "look at you... anyway, it doesn't matter." "It was you he stayed with It was you he lived with." "I had one summer." "The day I left him..." "I got on a train and made my way across Europe." "I felt free for the first time in years." "So, tell me about San Francisco." "What's to tell?" "stone teach traumatic idiots mostly." "They cannot all be idiots." "No, no..." "In fact I should not tell you this." "I have fallen in love." "Really?" "Yes." "with a student." "with a student." "Exactly." "I know, you think..." "Am I still up for this, all this intensity all this arguments... doors being slapped... but you know what it is like." "Are you feeling better?" "A little." "Thank you." "You think I am ridiculous?" "Ridiculous?" "Fortunate, too." "I'm gonna leave you to Mrs. Latchs." "I have to do something." "Mommy I don't wanna go." "You have to." "I'm sorry." "I have something to do before dady's home" "Hello." "Hello Mrs. Latch." "My boy is not very happy." "Mommy I don't wanna do this." "I have to go honey." "Your mother has things she has to do." "Come on." "I've got cookies." "Okay baby." "You have to be brave now." "Don't worry." "It's gonna be fine." "Honey." "Come on, come on darling." "mommy." "stop it." "mommy." "You -have to stop." "Mommy, mommy, mommy..." "Mommy, mommy, no." "The breakfast is served between 7 and 11 in the regency room... and the room service is available 24 hours." "Thank you, Ma'am.." "Is there anything else you need?" "Yes,..." "No." "Not to be disturbed." ""Did it matter then?" ", she asked herself walking toward Bond street."" ""Did it matter" that she asked inevitably, sees completely,"" ""... all this must go on without her?"" ""did she resent it..."" ""... or did it not become consoling..."" ""... to believe that death ended absolutely?"" ""It is possible to die."" ""It is possible to die."" "There was a lovely coat for Angelic in Harrods... but nothing for the boys." "It seems so unfair." "Only Angelic be favored." "Virginia?" "Virginia." "Virginia." "what are you thinking about?" "Are you still with us?" "Your arts are very lucky, Angelic." "She has two lives... she has the life that she is eating... and also that of the books that she is writing." "This makes her very fortunate indeed." "what were you thinking about?" "I was going to kill my heroine." "But I've changed my mind." "Again." "And I'm afraid I have to kill someone else instead." "I am clever." "A fascinating visit." "I enjoyed it completely." "Do you have to go really?" "I wish you wouldn't go." "Oh,Virginia the last thing you want is our noiseness." "My hopeless, clumsy boys." "Say good bye boys." "good-bye." "When will you return to Walt?" "tonight." "He suffers so much the whole day... you could not even live, Virginia." "But I do." "Say something Nessa,didn't you think I seem better." "Yes, Virginia, you seem better." "You think...?" "You think I may one day escape?" "One day." "Nessa." "come on Nessa." "come Angelic, we should leave." "We -go." "good-bye." "good-bye little girl." "Angelic, the train." "We're gonna miss the train." "Hurry, a big step." "Come on, Come on, Come on." "I wanna go home." "We stayed too long, we will miss the train." "Stay close." "I'm sorry, I know." "I tried to get here earlier." "I tried, okay?" "Don't start." "I know, it is just incredibly wrong because... it is your party." "Julia... how have you been doing?" "I am fine." "come here." "What have you been doing?" "Well, studying, mom." "So... what should I do, cherries?" "No, let's clear of the desk first." "We will take it into the bedroom." "I bumped into Louis Waters." "Oh, you did?" "Where?" "in the street." "They are all here, aren't they?" "All the ghosts." "All the ghosts are celebrating the party." "He is... so weird." "Oh, what?" "you cannot see that?" "You cannot see that Louis Waters is weird?" "I can see that he's sad." "All your friends are sad." "You have been crying." "What's happening?" "all the day as I looked around this room and I thought:" "I'm giving a party... all I want to do is give a party." "And?" "I know why he does it, he does it deliberately." "Oh, is this Richard." "of course." "He did it this morning..." "He gives me that look." "What look?" "To say... your life is frivolous." "You... you are so... frivolous." "Just...daily stuff you know schedules and parties..." "and details" "That is what he means." "That is what he's saying." "Mom, that only matters if you think that's true." "well?" "Do you?" "Tell me." "Well I'm living my field." "Yes, I am living... and when I am not with him, yes, everything does seem sort of silly." "I don't mean with you God.Jesus." "Never with you." "Just all the rest of it." "Sally?" "The rest of it." "False comfort." "Because..." "if you say to me when were you happiest." "mom... tell me the moment you were happiest." "I know." "I know, it was years ago." "Yes." "All you are saying is... you were once young." "I remember one morning... getting up at the dawn... there was such a sense of possibility." "Do you know?" "The feeling?" "And.. and I remember thinking myself:" ""So this is the beginning of the happiness..."" ""this is where it starts."" ""And of course there always be more."" "never occurred to me... it was not the beginning." "It was happiness." "It was the moment... right then." "Mary, good morning." "I was wondering if you've seen Mrs. Woolf?" "I thought you knew, Sir." "Mrs. Woolf has gone out." "Permission, permission." "I am astonished for this unexpected pleasure." "Perhaps you can tell me exactly what you think you are doing?" "what I was doing?" "I went to look for you and you were not there." "You were working in the garden, I didn't wish to disturb you." "You disturb me when you disappear." "I didn't disappear." "I went for a walk." "a walk?" "Is that all?" "Just a walk?" "Virginia?" "We must go home now, Nelly is cooking the dinner... she has already had a vey difficult day." "It is just our obligation to eat Nelly's dinner." "There is no such obligation." "no such obligation exists." "Virginia, you have an obligation to your insanity." "you always have this custody." "you have this imprisonment." "Oh, Virginia." "I am attended by doctors." "every where I'm attended by doctors who inform me of my own interest." "they know your interests." "they do not." "they don't speak for my interests." "Virginia, I can..." "I can see that it must be hard for a woman of your... of what?" "of my what exactly?" "talents to see that she may not be the best judge of her own condition." "Who hell is a better judge?" "You have a history." "You have a history of confinement." "We brought you to Richmond because you have a history of fits... moods,blackouts hearing voices." "We brought you here to save you from the irrevocable damage you intended to put on yourself." "You've tried to kill yourself twice." "I live daily with that threat." "I set up the press... we set up the printing press not just for itself... not just for itself but." "But you might have a ready source of absorption and remedy." "I need a work." "It was done for you." "It was done for your betterment." "It was done out of love." "If I didn't know you better, I'd call this ingratitude." "I am ungrateful?" "You call me ungrateful." "My life has been stolen from me." "I am living in a town I have no wish to live in." "I am living... a life I have no wish to live." "How did this happen?" "It is time for us to move back to London." "I missed London." "I missed London life." "This is not you speaking, Virginia." "This is an aspect of your illness..." "It is my voice." "it is not your voice." "It is mine, only mine." "it is not, could you listen?" "no it is it... it is mine." "I am dying in this town." "If you were thinking clearly, Virginia." "You will recall that London broke your love." "If I were thinking clearly..." "if I were thinking clearly..." "We brought -you to Richmond to give you peace." "If I were thinking clearly, Leonard, I would tell you:" "that I restle, alone... in the dark, in the deep dark ." "And that only I can know..." "Only I can understand my own condition." "You live with the threat, you tell me." "You live with the threat of my extinction." "Leonard, I live with it too." "This is my right." "It is the right of every human being." "I choose not to suffocating anesthetic of these suburbs... but the violent jolt of the capital, that is my choice." "The meanist patient, even the very lowest is allowed some say in the matter of their prescription." "the matter she defines humanity." "I wish for your sake, Leonard, I could be happy in this quiteness." "But if it is a choice between Richmond and death..." "I choose death." "Very well, London then." "We will go back to London." "Are you hungry?" "I feel hungry myself." "Come on." "You cannot find peace avoiding life, Leonard." "Train to London in platform 1." "Mommy." "Mommy." "Hey, there Bug, hey what's wrong?" "Hi Mrs. Latch, sorry I'm late." "He is fine." "He's a bit of fine." "he is just happy to see you." "Oh, could have been that bad, could it?" "Oh, so you got a cut that?" "Yes, yes, probably." "That's good." "they didn't have to do very much." "Well, we had a fine time together." "Thank you very much." "So, that wasn't too bad, was it?" "I wasn't gone too long." "no, you weren't out long." "that is right." "One point..." "I don't know." "There was a moment I thought it might be longer." "But I changed my mind." "What is it, honey?" "Mommy, I love you." "I love you, too baby." "What's wrong?" "What?" "Don't worry honey everything is fine." "We're gonna have a wonderful party." "We will make daddy such a nice cake." "I love you sweetheart." "You are my guy." "Mommy." "Mommy." "Richard it's me." "I'm early." "What the hell is going on?" "Richard." "What are you doing here?" "You are early." "What is going on here?" "what are you doing?" "I had this wonderful idea..." "I needed some light." "I needed to let in some light." "Richard, What are you doing?" "I had this fantastic notion." "I took this insanity and riddled it together... and it'd never occurred to me." "Richard..." "Don't come near me." "I seemed to me I needed to let in some light." "What do you think?" "I cleared away all the windows." "All right Richard, do me one simple favor... come, come sit." "I don't think I can make it to the party." "you don't have to go to the party." "you don't have to go to the ceremony... you don't have to do anything you don't wanna do." "You can do as you like." "But I still have to face the hours don't I..." "I mean the hours after the party and the hours after that." "You do have good days still you know you do." "Not really." "Just kind of you to say so but... it is not really true." "Are they here?" "Who?" "The voices." "Oh, if, the voices are always here." "And it's the voices you're hearing now, 'sn't it?" "No, no, no, no..." "Mrs. Dalloway, it is you." "I'm still alive for you... but now you have to let me go." "Richard ..." "I..." "No, wait, wait." "Tell me the story." "What about?" "Tell me story from your day" "I..." "I got up..." "Yes?" "And..." "I went out and..." "I went to buy flowers... like Mrs. Dalloway, in the book,you know?" "Yes." "And it was a beautiful morning..." "Was it?" "Yes, it was so beautiful... it was so fresh." "Oh, fresh, was it?" "If." "As... how that tomorrow in the beach?" "Oh, if." "How this?" "Yes." "Like the morning on the beach... like that morning when you walked out of that house and..." "you were eighteen... may be I was nineteen." "Yes." "I was nineteen years old... and I had never seen anything so beautiful." "You, coming out of the glass door early in the morning, still sleepy." "Isn't it strange?" "Most of an ordinary morning in anybody's life." "I'm afraid I cannot make it to the party Clarissa." "The party... doesn't matter." "You have been so good to me, Mrs. Dalloway." "I love you." "I don't think that 2 people could have been happier than we have been." "Happy Birthday." "Happy Birthday honey." "This is perfect, this is just perfect." "Do you really think so?" "Sure." "You must have been working all day." "That's what I've been doing." "working all day." "This is just fantastic." "It is what I always wanted." "Oneday Richie, I will tell you..." "I will tell you how it all that happened." "Don't." "I want to." "I want to tell him the story." "What happened?" "When I was in the war... a war I found myself." "thinking about this girl that I had seen.I never met her at high school." "strange, fragile looking girl... named Laura MacGraw." "And She was shy... and she was interesting." "Now, your mother won't mind if I tell you this, Richie... she was the sort of the girl that you see... sitting mostly on her own." "And I tell you... sometimes... when I was in the south pacific... the fact is that I used to think about this girl." "Dan." "I used to think about bringing her to a house... to a life... pretty much like this." "And what's the thought of the happiness... the thought of this woman... the thought of this life... that's what kept me going." "I had an idea of our happiness." "Why does someone have to die?" "Leonard?" "In your book, is that someone have to die?" "Why?" "Is this a stupid question?" "No." "Let me know if my question is stupid." "Not at all." "well?" "Someone has to die in order to the rest should have a life more." "It is a contrast." "And who will die?" "Tell me." "The poet will die." "The visionary." "What are you doing?" "I am brushing my teeth." "Are you coming to bed?" "Yes, in a minute." "Coem to bed Laura Brown." "I remembered Ray, he said..." "Kitty will go to the hospital." "I know." "Nothing serious, he said just a check-up..." "I am terrified." "Why?" "over the end she could disappear." "Maybe you can go and see her in the morning honey." "I was going to." "I was going to stop-by." "I had a wonderful day... and I have you to thank." "come to bed honey." "I'm coming." "Are you coming?" "yes." "What?" "I thought you were going to bed." "I am..." "I am going to bed." "what then?" "My mind isn't clear." "The story has returned to not to have direction..." "Mrs. Dalloway's destiny must be resolved." "You are Laura Brown." "If, I am Richard's mother." "Of course." "I am Clarissa Vaughan." "Please come in." "My friend Sally is in the kitchen... with my daughter." "you were having a party." "We were going to have a party." "I was lucky I got the last plane from Toronto." "so... that's the monster." "I wanted to do the right thing... found your number in his phone book." "yes, he had it." "We didn't speak often." "It is a terrible thing Ms Vaughan... to outlive your own family." "Richard's father died." "He died of cancer.going young" "Richard's sister is dead." "Obviously he feel I'm worthy... cause your feelings of unworthiness." "you survive and I don't." "have you read the poems?" "Oh yes..." "I also read the novel." "You see... people say that the novel is difficult." "I know." "They say that." "I know." "He had me died in the novel." "I know why he did that." "It hurt of course..." "I cannot pretend it didn't hurt.." "but I know why he did it." "You left Richard... when he was a child." "I left both my children." "I abandoned them." "They say it is the worst thing a mother can do." "You have a daughter." "Yes." "But I never met Julia's father." "You so wanted a child." "That's right." "You are a lucky woman." "There are times when you don't belong and you think you gonna kill yourself." "Once I went to a hotel... later that night I made a plan." "The plan was I would leave my family... when my second child was born." "And that's what I did." "I got up one morning, made breakfast... went to the bus stop got on the bus." "I left a note..." "I got a job on library in Canada." "It would wonderful to say that..." ""I regretted it."" "It would be easy what would it mean... what is it mean to regret... when you have no choice" "it is what you can bear." "there it is." "Noone's going to forgive me." "It was death... and I chose life." "Take your coat off." "I thought you would like a cup of tea." "Oh my Goodness, thank you dear." "I feel like I'm stealing your room." "We put the food away... so if you are hungry at the night." "you can serve yourself what you want." "Oh, thank you." "Where will you sleep?" "In the sofa." "I'm sorry." "Good night sweetheart." "Good night." "Dear Leonard... to look life in the face... always..." "to look life in the face... and to know it..." "for what it is... and at last to know it... to love it..." "for what it is... and then... to put it away." "Leonard... always the years between us... always the years... always..." "the love... always..." "The Hours."