"" MASTER A COPACABANA building"" "A building in Copacabana, one block from the beach." "276 studios home... to some 5OO tenants." "Twelve floors, 23 units per floor." "We've leased a studio there for a month." "Three film crews shot the building's life over a week." "l was 1 when I moved in." "So all your 49 years, you've lived..." "Here." "All my 49 years!" "In one building." "ln one apartment?" "No. I've already lived... I first moved into #813." "Then I moved to #715." "Then to #714." "I've lived in #11O2, #3O6... #2O9, #123... #117..." "Your mother lived in..." "28 apartments." "'Cause we'd rent them and... the owner okaying it, she'd sublet them." "She'd furnish a studio, people liked it... you know..." "so we'd rent it out." "Regularly." "We lived like gypsies... only within one single building." "This place used to... I'll draw the general picture first, then I'll go into details." "This used to be a seedy dive." "There's been suicides, doormen killed... assassinations." "This used to be quite seedy." "ln the hallways?" "There used to be hookers... and lines, see?" "Men and women waiting for... clients to exit, so they'd have their go." "There used to be lots of madams here." "There were natural deaths, too." "I remember..." "Sure you wanna hear this?" "A friend died in #6O8." "The studio we've in?" "That 's right." "The building's been revamped." "The indecorous people have moved out." "There's lots of decent people here now." "Thank God, this is a family building now." "Welcome to the Administration." "I'm glad, I'm really glad, cause... I've been in charge here since April '97." "I was reelected last March... until 2OO3." "I hope to be able to do much more... but my goal is not, let 's say... I wanted this place to be nice-looking and decent." "Thank God, I succeeded." "I use a lot of Piaget." "Otherwise, I resort to Pinochet." "That 's reality, huh?" "People say I'm the King of sayings, so..." "" Reality is the funeral of illusions."" "So when they flip out, I bring them back to reality." "They come to their senses, shocked with reality." "That 's how I deal with them:" "I start with Piaget. I'm polite, I'm kind." "I give love and expect to get love... but I can't demand love from them." "Like I say: " One can't demand love; only conquer it."" "Go on, Eliska." "Go, go, Eliska." "Hi, Ms. Maria do Céu." "How do you do?" "Fine." "Welcome." "Thank you." "Come on in." "Before Sergio's tenure, at the wee hours... that lobby there... became the hang out place for us, ladies... to drink with the doormen all night... every night." "I used to join them, too." "About 1 am, I'd get insomniac, so I'd go down, too." "We all ate, the doormen drank... got drunk, then one of them would go to sleep... on a foldable beach chair out of sight... and the lobby would then be deserted." "You say it with such fondness!" "Look, it wasn't all that good." "Only when we were having fun, but things could turn sour." "First, some woman would show up, throwing a fit." "Then someone else, waving a pocketknife." "It 'd go on like this." "So the cops were called." "When fights broke out, the cops would come, and go up." "Out front, there was a scaffold, for the facade was being painted." "So someone would rappel down the scaffold ropes." "Then, a second person would rappel down... from the 7th or 8th floor." "Then a third one. I'd say:" ""What the hell is this?"" "All night long..." "In the morning I'd say:" ""Who's giving the scoop of what happened... you or me, Conceição?" "About what we saw last night?"" "We'd give each other the scoop, saying it was a news flash." "Before Sergio, this was hell, but thank God, all's calm now." "All's great, but the poor fellow suffered... to chase out of here the transvestites... prostitution, the massage parlors." "Good Lord!" "He kept going down to the district... the poor guy suffered." "We would go testify... and so would the doormen." "Now it 's better." "All's fine." "We're here." "This is our crew." "I'll see myself in, okay?" "How are you?" "This is Jacques." "This is Coutinho, the director." "You look smart, huh?" "Yeah, but one should look smart?" "My favorite objects?" "My portraits!" "Definitely!" "Tell me why." "Cause I love myself." "We should all love ourselves, right?" "If I don't love myself, who will?" "Except when you have a boyfriend." "Then you love your boyfriend, of course!" "I began posing for portraits after my divorce." "I started working as a seamstress for the high society." "I worked for Roberto Marinho's family..." "Othon Palace Hotel's , and Niemeyer's family." "I had to polish my act." "I learned many great things with the high society." "Then I started posing for portraits, cause I fell in love with myself." "And to this day, I've got portraits on my phones and about everywhere!" "We live in one of Rio's postcards:" "Copacabana." "It 's very violent here, though." "How was your mugging, Ms. Esther?" "Here?" "Yeah." "I was on Siqueira Campos St., near here... when a guy and a woman approached me." "I got quite frightened." "Then... he took his piece out of his pocket." "When I saw the gun, I panicked." "He said: " Be quiet, and don't look sideways."" ""Where do you live?"" "When I came in here, I got so scared... really scared of him." "Such a handsome man!" "White... really well-dressed." "He said:" ""Where's your bank card?"" "I said: " l don't know!" l shook so badly, I was speechless!" "I opened up a drawer, emptied it on my bed... kneeling on the floor, looking for it, but couldn't find it... being under gunpoint like that." "I had to crawl on my knees... grab his leg, and beg him not to shoot me." "Then we left for the bank." "He cashed all my money, R$ 8,OOO reais." "He had the gun on me all the time." "I think the branch manager was in it with him... cause he paid right up." "For you to cash a couple thousand reais... a 24-hour notice is required." "I came back home, in such a state!" "I couldn't stop crying." "He handed me a damn bag that 's still here!" "It 's here, that damn bag!" "He said: " Keep it." "I don't need your money."" "I thought the money was really there." "Boy, what a letdown!" "The bag's here." "Here's the damn bag." "I find it disgusting." "Look, he did all this!" "It 's disgusting." "All nicely folded up, so I'd take it for my money." "I got desperate, when I saw myself alone here... pacing up and down, debt-ridden at CA, and Ponto Frio..." "At 4 am, I got dressed and decided to jump out of the window." "I was going to jump." "It 'd been two years my late husband had died... and left me alone." "But I... didn't go through with it." "People always teased me:" ""You didn't jump because of CA and Ponto Frio?"" "I said: "Yes", cause I'm not like those who say:" ""The dead don't have to honor their debts."" "When I die, I want to go in peace!" "Not owing a dime to anyone." "Now I have a really great boyfriend." "I'm very happy." "One shouldn't be alone." "We should all have someone." "I'm not dead yet." "Men and women need companions, don't you think so?" "We all need a partner." "You spend your daytime with your friends, and that 's nice." "Then you come home, and lock your front door..." "My friends tease me, saying:" "" lf you dislike being alone within 4 white walls, paint them in colors!"" "It 's easy for them to say so, cause they're not in here." "Solitude hurts a lot." "It hurts a lot." "My boyfriend is American." "What 's he like?" "Christopher?" "Oh, God, he was a godsend, a glory." "Calls me everyday." "Must be nuts my cel phone's off." "Where's he?" "He lives in Greenville, a city in the US." "He's bought me a home, and proposed. I plan to move there." "I just wanna wait a little, cause he's too eager." "Everyday he sends me e-mails, calls, wires me money..." "How do you call him?" "" My chocolate baby", he calls me." "I call him " my chocolate white" ." "He's really cool." "Always joking, you know?" "No one would say he's 42." "He's the chairman of one of the US' most famous organizations." "ls he single, married, widowed?" "He's single, and he's mine!" "He's got a beautiful son, who loves me dearly!" "Does his son know you?" "Yes, he does." "I know his mom." "His son came to visit, she didn't ." "She sends me e-mails." "It seems he has a huge house, and his wife left him." "My poor baby, his wife was a neurotic." "She took off with a lover, and left him with their son... and a huge trauma." "He's been separated for 2 years." "I think he found in me what he'd been looking for." "I have a dream, cause when I left home, my mom said:" ""You wanna move in with your cousin?" "Fine!"" ""You'll be back in a week, begging for a plate of food."" "As I'm really proud, I said:" "" Mom, apart from being a hooker or a killer..."" "" l'd sooner starve to death than ever come back here."" "Why?" "Cause I had a boyfriend..." "She was so liberal with my friends, I thought with me..." "Then I got pregnant." "And I'm through and through against abortion." "My mom was worried about what people'd say... what the neighbors would say." "That upset me even more." "When she got her paycheck, she took me to this..." "Spiritist Center, where a lady, like, induced miscarriages." "You go there, she does her thing, and the next day, you miscarry." "Only I didn't ." "So, I had an internal infection." "I kept the dead baby in my womb for 3 days." "On the 4th, my temperature was, like, 1O7 F." "When I recovered, my mom said:" ""Let 's go home."" "I said: " Maybe you forgot you'd told me... that I couldn't stay home with a baby."" "" So, even without one, you won't want me there."" "" l love you, but..."" "I couldn't bear to see my mom cry, I'd cry, too." "Now I'm Renata, and that 's it." "I'm #1 in Brazil." "Nobody will ever let me down again." "My music keeps me entertained." "I've already played a little keyboard today." "I enjoy singing." "I used to sing a lot." "When a radio station in Maranhão was founded... I sang in one of their talent shows." "My family disapproved of it, but I loved it." "I've lived by myself for quite a while, and am used to it." "But I have children." "I've had 4 children:" "one of them passed away." "I have 3 children... two married girls and 8 grandchildren." "My daughters say: " Mom, people have CDs now, not LPs!"" "Oh, c'mon, my LPs are beauties!" "Once in a while, I sit there... play my LPs, and fly!" "I'm not sad, I'm not unhappy either." "No sir, thank God." "I face my problems... naturally." "I'll sing, if you want. I'm not self-conscious, did you notice?" "Never,not even if my world ends" "Neither in God's name" "Not even then" "Will I evertake you back" "Never!" "When our illusions" "Are shattered" "Our hearts end up buried" "As I have buried mine" "Nostalgia" "Go and tell him Please" "How happy my love was" "And how much I loved him long ago" "Nostalgia" "Don't forget to say, at last" "That you bring me sleep and rest" "So I can live in peace" "Your 1st anniversary?" "!" "How has it been?" "Thank God, all's fine." "Why did you eye him like that?" "Be honest." "Why?" "Aren't we fine?" "Honestly?" "Since December... in January and February..." "Until January, all was fine." "In February, we had a fight." "I thought of jumping out of that window." "We fought all night." "In the morning, he saved me." "If I'd seen him coming, I'd have jumped." "I sat down on the windowsill, and said: " So be it..."" "" l can't stand it anymore."" ""When I meant to jump, he threw me on the floor."" "She's sick with jealousy." "So is he!" "That fight, back in February, was out of jealousy." "I'm honest. I'll say whatever I please to his face... anywhere." "Whenever he's with a woman." "Say I'm a guy, with a date." "I won't check out other women passing by." "She's paranoid, says I'm gawping at them." "Do you look at them?" "She says I do..." "Do you love each other?" "I love her, but I don't know if she loves me. I think she does." "I used to be crazy about him." "That love I felt for him... I first got married at 42... and I'm never getting married again." "Did you have children?" "Ready for this?" "You won't believe me." "I have a 23-yr-old son." "I've had 22 children... 15 abortions." "I didn't get it." "Come again?" "How many children have you had?" "22." "Total, with 15 abortions." "As a child, were you poor?" "Yeah, I can't say I was rich." "I was raised... and lived in a slum." "But he didn't ." "His life..." "His life was better." "Thank God, I've had a good life." "My dad gave us an okay life." "But my mom and I lived in a slum." "My dad left me with her to be raised." "I'd spend a year with each of them." "My mom had a rather improper life... if you know what I mean." "I was 13, 14, and she rented out rooms for trysts." "With you there?" "l was there." "Do you like Copacabana?" "No." "I've worked here for years, and never liked it." "What did you use to do?" "I'm not ashamed of saying it:" "I was a housemaid." "For how long?" "Years." "You've worked for a family in Copacabana... so you know the neighborhood well." "Why don't you like it?" "Because." "You know why?" "I feel caged in." "Of her own choice." "I always invite her to take walks on the beach." "I don't like it." "You know why?" "I'm an old lady." "Why sit and watch old folks stroll by?" "I don't mean that!" "Just for the sake of walking." "You know what I really like?" "To do the samba, to dance... but he doesn't ." "I love him more than he loves me." "ls it a love contest?" "Yes, it is." "We're good for nothing, but we love each other." "I've told his daughter:" ""Next time he misbehaves... I'll kill him first, and then I'll kill myself."" "Your hair grows longer Your look goes downhill" "You grow older, Time doesn't stand still" "A minute can contain a lifetime,or more" "Within that minute, What's in store?" "Love stories do not exist anymore" "And they were only lies of yore" "She showed her bellybutton" "Herworld spinning there" "Look beyond your bellybutton" "See time go by, by,by" "She showed her bellybutton" "And herworld spinning there" "Look beyond your bellybutton And see" "Have you ever made money with your music?" "We have. lf we played covers, we'd earn a living with it." "But if money was my only concern, I wouldn't be a musician." "Real money, not pocket money here and there." "Or else, I'd be home in Curitiba, playing at bars." "We used to play every week, Thursdays thru Sundays." "But we don't want to play musak at such venues." "We want to play concerts, go on tours, play for real." "How do you like living in Copacabana for 6 months?" "It 's cool." "I like it here." "Why?" "lt 's great." "We go down... to the corner bar, everyone's happy, sipping beer." "You go to the beach, everyone's jogging." "How much is your rent?" "Rent R$ 35O, taxes R$ 135." "And how do you make ends meet?" "They both work, and I study, so my dad send me some dough." "What do you do?" "Can he speak?" "No." "He works at a Chinese restaurant." "Won't he ever answer me?" "When he's in that outfit, he's isn't allowed to speak." "Explain it to me." "Well, he's in our band as a visual message." "He expresses, physically, what we want to convey with our music." "So if he talked, it 'd be meaningless, cause he's an image." "He's meant to be a visual message, not a talking one." "How was your 1st marriage?" "l had two children." "How long did it last?" "I was married for 9 years before I got divorced." "I spent some time by myself, then got married again." "After 9 years, I became a widower." "Was your 2nd marriage good?" "Excellent." "Haven't been married since?" "No." "We've been living together for 13 years now." "And were you separated, or a widow?" "A widow." "How long until you met him?" "Three years." "I worked all day back then... and had no time left to miss a partner." "It was only after I got retired that things got worse." "I began to feel a big void." "One week seemed to last a year." "I knew I couldn't go on alone." "I decided to look up the personal ads." "I picked up Balcão and read them, but didn't want to write one." "But in the paper, all 5O... 51-yr-old men, up to 6O yr. olds... they all wanted 4O-yr-old women... or between 3O and 4O. I was 5O, I'd have to look for an 8O yr. old." "No way, huh?" "I was doomed... cause an 8O yr. old would do me no good." "So I decided to write my own ad." "One farmer sent me his picture, surrounded by oxen... saying I was right for him, and he'd like... to exchange letters with me." "But I didn't like his self-advertising." "Did you have any actual dates?" "Three." "How did they go?" "Fast!" "In one..." "Where were they?" "One was at Lido Square." "He was a soccer coach in Niterói... but I when saw his white  brown shoes, I didn't like them." "I hated his shoes." "The second one I met at the square... grabbed my arm, and said:" ""Let 's see if it 's firm."" "Just like that?" "Yeah." "I said: "Why?" "I'm not selling anything."" "" Just checking if your body's firm."" "I'd call the paper to check for letters." "I'd give my phone and box." ""Any letters?"" ""Yes, 'X ' letters." Then, I'd go pick'em up." "I'd read'em on the bus ride back." "Did your heart beat fast?" "Of course!" "Did you ever post any ads?" "No, never." "But you read them." "l read and replied to them." "What interested you the most?" "Age, personality." "What age group interested you?" "Upwards of 48." "No young ladies?" "Absolutely not." "Why not?" "Because." "I was looking for a partner in every respect." "I could find a girl just wanting to go out on dates... and that 's not what I wanted." "My first date took place in Campo Grande." "I got there, parked far off, got out... and when I saw her from afar... she was horrible." "Horrible." "She was hideous!" "I thought: " No way."" "I walked back and drove off." "Then I had a date with a fashion designer." "She was very pretty, and I got interested." "But all she thought about was money." "She was only after money." "Miracles are rare, but they do happen." "Like how we met." "It 's hard finding someone who fulfills you in every way." "ln 3 days." "ln 3 days." "Day 1, we met." "Day 2, we dinned." "Day 3, I moved in with him." "I wanted a free, independent... attractive woman." "My old lady is pretty." "She's pretty, and I wanted a pretty woman." "I once was..." "I once was." "Were you also looking for a handsome man?" "That 'd be hard." "Why?" "Him?" "Were you also looking for an attractive man?" "Any man without a belly." "But then I found him." "I liked all about him, except for his belly." "So we've been living together." "He's so nice he put his apartment, his car, everything... under my name. lf l leave him tomorrow, he's lost." "Would it be rude if I asked your age?" "Not at all. I'm 67." "65." "You're still young." "And pretty, isn't she?" "You fool!" "She's very pretty." "Did you forget we'd made this appointment?" "Of course, not." "It 's just that... I woke up with the doorbell." "Do you mind if we shoot?" "I don't , but your audience might." "I just woke up." "Look at my face." "Are you a teacher?" "Yes." "An English teacher?" "l've lived in N. Orleans for 8 yr." "And why?" "My mom worked at the Consulate." "Worked at the Consulate?" "Yes." "Do you have cats?" "Yeah, I live with 3 female kitties." "I used to have males, but since the kitties aren't spayed... I had to get rid of them." "It was a great blow to me... but that 's ok." "I live with the kitties... and half of the week, my boyfriend comes over, but..." "Over here?" "Yes, he does." "I'm a bit of a neurotic and social phobic... and Copacabana's busy hustle and bustle... makes me stressed out by the time I get home." "The crowds?" "Yeah. I don't know:" "Either there are too many passersby... or the sidewalks are too narrow... or there's an unpleasant combination of both." "What I'll say is not nice... but I quite enjoy it... when I ride the elevator by myself." "Not because I might loose time stopping at another floor." "Only because I know I won't have to see nor be seen." "Can I ask you something?" "Sure." "Why do you avoid eye contact when we talk?" "It 's not that what I'm saying isn't true." "It 's just that I'm not sure... I'm too insecure to face you... without stammering, or blinking compulsively." "In your first interview, you also looked sideways." "Right, I have that problem." "I'll only make an extra effort, if I'm in a job interview... or else people think I'm lying:" ""Your gaze avoidance means you're either afraid or guilty."" "Since neither is usually the case..." "Here, I don't feel guilty, but I'm afraid." "You are?" "Course!" "What do you think... makes people avoid eye to eye contact?" "It 's fear, huh?" "Writing for me is a necessary escape... but lately I haven't found inspiration to write poetry." "Here's a short poem, called " Opium Dreams" ." "Did you get it?" "Overall, but could you... in Portuguese?" "Its symbolism touches me deeply." "This one here is entitled... I'll translate it, cause I give them English titles:" ""The Forest of My Despair." lt 's about paranoia and lack of love." "The forest is such a dubious place." "It elicits our exploration." "It is trees, and oxygen, adventure, and enigma." "It entices our curiosity." "It 's quoted... in many fairy tales, especially the ones meant to scare us." "These are the eyes that define the concrete jungle... as a place of paranoia... and intrusion." "It somehow seems... we're constantly being watched." "It 's aesthetically ridiculous... but I don't care, 'cause I have no ambition." "This was a balm to me when I made it." "I've settled many issues." "ls this Roberto's home?" "Yes." "is he in?" "Mr." "Roberto, I brought a crew." "Welcome." "Make yourselves at home." "Where do you work?" "I'm a street vendor, pal." "I used to be well off, I had several houses... and lived in Santa Tereza." "I've had several occupations in life." "I've bust my butt all my life." "While some drank many a beer, I worked." "I worked, day and night." "But, sadly, I suffered a brain stroke... which put me in a hospital for 6 months... paralyzed." "I'm 65, going into 66... and sick." "Who will employ me in such conditions?" "Young men find it hard to get jobs... let alone an old sick fart." "So men like me are unemployed." "Would you give me a job?" "I have none... er..." "but I know it 's tough..." "You're very kind, thank you." "I'm right, aren't I?" "But that 's the tough reality, right, pal?" "Are you married, separated?" "Married... but we got separated some 3O years ago." "I get along just fine with my wife, though." "We're separated, but we've never gotten divorced." "We're friends, and I wish her well." "Really well." "I wish the best for her, she's wonderful." "It just didn't work out for us." "Look... quite frankly... you'll laugh at me." "I get all emotional." "I cry for no reason, I'm sensitive." "I'm from Italian descent, that 's why." "But the issue here is not sensibility." "So, in answer to your question... I've really, really missed my mother since she died." "She was very old, but I would like she were by my side." "I really miss my late father, too." "Life goes on, of course." "We move on, right?" "You." "Didn't you have parents, too?" "Didn't you grow up, get married, have children?" "Didn't you leave your parent 's house to raise your own family?" "Doesn't life go on?" "We don't own our children." "Where are you from?" "Belo Horizonte." "How was your childhood?" "I didn't have one." "I had no childhood." "No childhood whatsoever." "What do you mean?" "Because I wasn't free to be, like... a normal kid, to play." "I had no freedom." "My father wouldn't let me." "At 14, I gave birth, and my childhood was over." "How did you get pregnant?" "Was it your 1st experience?" "Yeah." "He was my first lover, 'cause I wasn't allowed to date." "After school, my dad made me go straight home." "He'd have picked me up at school... so I wouldn't meet men, to protect me from the world." "And so it happened." "On my first date, I met my daughter's father... I had no idea what infatuation was." "I was 14, and thought I was in love." "So I gave myself and got pregnant." "Damn!" "Did you get an abortion?" "No, my mom wouldn't let me." "I've never lied to her." "I told her: " Something weird is going on with my body."" "" l think I'm pregnant." Cause my hips grew wider... my body had changed." "So I told her... and she got desperate." "My dad didn't talk to me for a whole year." "Afterwards, he realized he was to blame... for my fate, so..." "So you gave birth?" "l did." "To a boy or a girl?" "A girl." "What 's her name?" "Alexia Caroline." "Well, my first call girl date was cool." "Excuse me?" "My 1st call girl date." "When I got paid all that money, I freaked out." "I'd never touched so much money." "Some R$ 15O reais!" "A fortune!" "Jeez!" "More than my monthly pay." "I earned R$ 136 monthly." "So I told my daughter:" ""Let 's hit the mall."" "We pigged out on McDonald's all day... ice cream... great!" "Today I wouldn't have the guts to do that." "Back then, it was fun." "What wouldn't you do?" "Spend R$ 15O at McDonald's ." "No, sir!" "But that day I was a child... who's been given her favorite toy." "We stuffed our faces!" "What 's your life like?" "What 's it like?" "Well... not good." "It 's not " an easy life", as some call it." "It 's disgusting to go out on a date with a man... you might even like, and be attracted to him... and the next day, he wakes up and gives you money." "That 's not nice." "And it 's not an easy money at all." "It 's hard-earned..." "under humiliations, and offenses." "It 's humiliating... a lot." "That 's not easy." "Do you have pleasure at it?" "Or fake it?" "I have to drink to be able to do it." "I can't work straight-faced." "I drink all day, 'cause I have to work all day... to support my daughter, my family." "So I drink to gather up the courage I don't have when I'm sober." "Apart from work, do you have a boyfriend?" "No." "Really?" "No." "There's this guy... I'm still a teenager." "Hey, I'm only 2O." "Say, do you enjoy life?" "I do." "But I expect to die any moment." "I've already told my mom she shouldn't cry... 'cause I'll better off than most people here." "How come?" "When you die you're better off... than living here, in this ugly world with mean people." "So I say:" ""l'll be happy when I die."" "But I don't want to die." "I love my life... but I know it will be the end of my suffering." "I'll stop suffering and hustling for work." "That 's good!" "Waking up at 7 am is horrible." "I mean it." "I don't like to work." "I do it to support my daughter, but if I could I'd be living the good life." "What do you mean?" "I'd get up at noon, have lunch cooked for me." "I should marry a millionaire." "Lunch on the table... I would play with my daughter all day... talk on the phone all day." "That 's what I would like." "How did you work up the courage to give this testimony?" "You agreed to talk... and this movie will be showing at theaters." "How come?" "It 's no act of courage." "It 's normal. I think so." "It 's quite normal to me." "Most people out there today... have a" b.C." mentality." "That 's history." "Now, anything goes." "Babies are born left and right." "There's men with men, women with women." "There's 5O women for each man." "Those things shouldn't be normal." "People stealing from people." "Politicians, too." "Thieves stealing from the poor." "Poor thieves stealing the poor." "Rich thieves stealing the poor." "Everyone's stealing, and... that 's normal." "So why shouldn't being a call girl?" "Should people cast stones at me?" "I don't think so, that 's why I'm honest." "I'm not ashamed." "The whole neighborhood and my family know it." "If you like me as I am, great." "I don't see anything unusual in that." "Here's my last question." "When your daughter grows up, she's 6 now will you tell her the truth?" "l will." "I'm gonna tell my daughter everything." "When she turns 14, I'll put her on the pill. I've told my mom." "Cause I ain't gonna do to her as they did me." "I'll tell her:" ""Here's all I've done."" "I want neither her nor my sister to do as I did." "I'll earn enough to pay for their studies for both of them." "I'll help, I'll pay to keep them away from this life." "But if that 's what she wants, I can't stop her." "I'll suffer, like my mom did." "Sure, she's my daughter." "But, all I can do is say:" ""You're hurting me..."" "No. I can't ever say that, cause... she'll say: "You hurt my grandma, and didn't hear all this."" "You said you lie a lot." "l do!" "I lie a lot." "When you lie, you gotta believe." "Really believe, so you must lie well." "And I'm quite a liar." "I even cry to convince my own self of things." "I lie so much, I end up believing my lies to be true." "So what were the lies you told me in our chat?" "I didn't tell you any lies." "I lied to you guys yesterday... cause I didn't wanna do this interview." "So I lied. " l'm going out, and I'll be in late."" "The instant they left, I came back. I was scared." "But today I didn't lie." "I forgot about it." "I'd forgotten I was gonna do this interview." "It 'd slipped my mind, but yesterday I lied." "There you have it." "I'm an honest liar." "I lie, but I also tell the truth." "I'm shy." "And I stammer." "Excuse me?" "l'm shy... and I stammer." "This will be terrible." "How old are you?" "l'm 57." "And your wife?" "25." "ls it your first marriage?" "No, my second." "How many children?" "Two." "I've had one son with my first wife... and I'm also a single father." "I have a 31-yr-old son." "What 's a"single father"?" "Well... in my 2Os, I knocked up a girl." "I fathered the baby." "So I was a single father." "At what age did you start working?" "When I was 8." "Doing what?" "I sold peanuts and snacks in trains." "I was a shoeshine for 2 weeks, but I didn't like it." "Then I got a job at a supermarket." "Before that, I'd worked for the City Morgue... picking up bodies out of the streets hit and run victims." "My mom often couldn't put food on our table." "Any check, ticket... or coupon I got at school... for my bus fares... cause I didn't pay for school I'd give my mom to buy us food." "How come you didn't stammer once during our conversation?" "Beats me." "God spoke through me." "It was wonderful." "Was it?" "Why is that?" "Because I had an opportunity to... speak publicly about... my childhood." "Though it was tough... and rather bitter... I never turned to coke, nor drinking." "I've always kept my dignity about me." "I've got no chip on my shoulders." "I'm convinced I was a good son." "My poor mom died on my lap, in Brasília." "I used to travel to Brasília to visit her." "At times, I'd just come back from my annual vacations... and I'd ask my manager:" ""Let me go see my dying mother."" "Once, upon my return, I thanked him: " Listen, Pedro..."" "His name is Pietro, he's Italian." "" Pietro, I'll make up for missing work in the future."" "" l had to go." "Thank you for granting me leave."" "He said:" ""You don't have to thank me."" "I'll never forget his words." ""You don't have to thank me."" ""You traveled not because you had to, but because you deserved it."" "I was very happy." "I had no idea he held me, as an employee... in such high esteem." "I worked with Pietro for 15 years." "Are you very emotional?" "I'm a softie." "is that good or bad?" "Men don't cry." "Just because he cries... a man... I've got nothing to hide." "This is me." "This is me." "No, Beth." "I'll ask them to stop." "There's no doorbell." "Sir, excuse me again." "We're interviewing your next-door neighbor in #111... and it 's tough." "We got a film crew here." "Look." "See?" "We're working here." "If you guys could stop for just a sec?" "Can you stop just for a sec?" "Thanks." "Eliska, a half hour is not a sec." "Now keep going, keep going." "Who knows them?" "Hi, Lucinha." "How are you?" "is Rita here?" "We'd been waiting for you." "Make yourselves at home." "How long have you lived at the Master?" "4O years, since I was born." "Were you born right here in this studio?" "That 's right." "At night, I can find my way in the dark." "I go to the bathroom with the lights out... but she gets lost." "Or my mom will enter the bathroom... as I'm leaving, and we scare each other." "We always walk around in the dark." "Does you mom sleep in there?" "Yes. I sleep here." "Where do you sleep?" "That 's a sofa-bed." "A bunker bed?" "No, a pullout bed." "Where are you headed for?" "The Public Security office... where l used to work." "The police." "You worked for the police?" "I'm a retired police officer." "You going downtown?" "Don't forget your key." "Don't take too long." "Did you go to school?" "Yep, until high school." "I've had jobs, but I've quit to take better care of mom." "I quit working 5 years ago." "Do you get along well, or what?" "Say something, help me out!" "We have the occasional quarrel." "That 's life." "We're the same sign." "But I'm more..." "We're Leo." "She's a bit more..." "I avoid conflicts." "Ritinha is a good roommate." "She's easy-going." "What was that?" "l'm easy-going." "And how about her, Rita?" "Level with me." "She's got more of a temper." "I've got a temper, I'm stubborn... I admit it, I'm difficult, indeed." "But I'm a nice person." "When people need me, I'm there for them." "I'm always there for my friends." "Ain't it right?" "Yeah." "Really, Rita?" "You may disagree." "No, really." "She's a friend for all times." "And would you live together forever?" "I would." "We get along great." "She's learning to cook now, which is hard cause she's not too keen on it." "What about the house chores?" "I do most of them." "But she helps with the cleaning." "I prefer to cook." "Are you preparing lunch?" "Just a quick bite." "Excuse us." "Make yourselves at home." "Didn't you say you'd lost your father?" "I haven't lost him." "He's missing!" "Tell me." "1931, haven't I told you?" "Two months after I was born, he kissed me... left for Belém, and never came back." "He went to Fortaleza first." "Then boarded a ship to the Amazon... and disappeared eaten by cannibals in the Amazon, I don't know." "People would ask:" ""Where's your old man?"" "I'd say: " He's gone."" "That would hurt me, and my mother would tell me:" "" Son, you daddy's gone." " He went to Belém, and has been gone ever since."" "She was father and mother to me." "How did she support you both?" "She had a stall in a street fair, she sold knickknacks." "She was quite a smart lady." "What did you use to do?" "Here?" "I've had many jobs." "I've sold furniture... at a shop in Catete St. I've been a bartender... then worked at a carpet shop... at a fabric store..." "Since I was a kid, I've written poetry." "I used to be quite inspired." "Here... I started writing sambas... and got the inspiration to write " Favela" ." "Has " Favela" ever been recorded?" "Yes, by Marisa Gata Mansa, in 196O-61... back when she was a star." "Only the favela's residents" "Are aware of its enchantment" "Are aware of its enchantment" "Gazing out at the moon We see it's beautiful" "And the favela seems More blissful" "The only true samba ls that made in a terreiro" "A dirt -covered,sacred ground" "The tambourine keeps the beat The mulattas shake their hips" "All is settled all around" "People are tired of working all day" "Carryingwateron their heads, And cooking on hot plates" "When the circle is complete People surrenderto the beat" "And even the moon comes to a standstill I suspect the moon agrees with me:" "They suffer all day,but doing the samba at night, they are happy" "Only the favela's residents" "Are aware of its enchantment I came to the Master 4 years ago." "Funny, I said " came" to the Master... cause the first time I came in here, I got scared." "" God no!" "Not another one of those Copacabana buildings!"" "I had sort of " inhabited", or else... been a frequent visitor to a studio nearby." "I got nervous." "I saw this place and said:" ""Another one of those buildings" ." "Obviously, I was brought here by emotional reasons, and stayed." "Its diversity of tenants... doesn't bother me." "But its high population density does." "It 's an oppressive number of people... a lot of them!" "Their diversity is not a problem, it 's what 's interesting." "In the late '7Os, I used to come here... to hang out at the old Sótão... a night club in Alaska Gallery." "Back then, there was a mix of... sleaziness and glamour, both in one place." "I couldn't tell them apart in the short time I spent here... I didn't know better." "I felt I was attending... a Carnival Ball." "All was a fantasy." "You lived elsewhere?" "Far from here." "None of this really affected me." "What bothers me today... is that Copacabana's reality affects most people." "You go out into the streets and see terrible things:" "kids sniffing glue, male and female prostitutes... drug dealers, etc., that 's our reality." "It 's too much, for God's sake!" "I don't think social evils should be eradicated... and treated to create an ascetic society." "But this is too much." "Natalina, how do you like Copacabana?" "You work at two homes." "Tell us... about Copacabana's mayhem." "Look this way, and tell us." "Be yourself." "It 's chaotic, huh?" "I prefer quieter places." "I'd rather go straight home after work." "Or travel to Minas to visit my mother." "I'd rather stay home." "On weekends... or weekdays, I go to church." "I'm a Pentecostal." "Happy Birthday to you" "Happy Birthday to you" "Happy Birthday,Geicy" "Happy Birthday to you" "Do you live here by yourself?" "Yes, I do." "Don't you feel lonely?" "Very much so, very often." "But I've got an aunt who lives nearby... and relatives in Belo Horizonte." "My kids live in the US, all of them." "What are some of your hobbies?" "Going to the beach and walking." "You're in good shape." "Not yet, because of my domestic accident." "What happened exactly?" "It was April 23." "I came in and, as you can see, the place is all carpeted... except for the tiled entrance." "I slipped and hit my head." "I must 've fainted, I don't remember." "I moaned, and a neighbor passing outside heard me... and knew it:" ""Something's wrong with Henrique."" "What if nobody happened to be passing by?" "I would be dead." "I can't quite describe it to you." "It was a... a... I don't have words to describe it." "3, 4 hours later, it would've been too late." "Do you have 3 children?" "l do." "l have 2 sons and one daughter." "What do they do?" "My eldest is VP of an oil company in Lafayette, Louisianna." "My other son is a computer analyst." "And my daughter Rebeca drives... one of those 18-wheelers big rigs for Federal Express." "ls your wife deceased?" "Yes, she is." "For how long?" "She passed away 6 years ago." "Was it tough for you?" "It was, indeed." "We were very close." "Whose idea was it to move to the US?" "I'd always wanted to against my family's will." "I was 17, and my uncle, who had acquaintances... in high places, got me a fake id." "With only my passport, R$ 2OO reais, and no contacts, I moved to the US." "I was a dish-washer at first." "One day, I happened to be at the Idlewild Airport... an old US airport." "A man asked me if I were Puerto-Rican." "" Brazilian", I said, and he told me of a job for Portuguese speakers." "The next day, I was employed." "By what company?" "Pan American." "You held an important position in the US." "You must 've had big savings and a pension plan." "Why live in such a small place?" "l didn't save much." "All I got I gave to my children." "I gave my house and car to my son." "My retirement pay comes from the US but it 's no big deal." "It 's enough to support myself here, but not what people think:" "" Oh, he gets paid in dollars, he must be rich."" "No, absolutely not." "Honestly, if I lived in the US... with my retirement pay, I'd be worse off." "How did you meet Frank Sinatra?" "That 's interesting." "Through my company... when the astronauts came back from the Moon... and a reception was thrown for them at Houston's Astrodome... I was included in the guest list." "I sat down in the arena... and there he was, sitting 4 or 5 chairs away... sided by thugs of the..." "Mob?" "Sitting with the mob." "I went up to greet him:" "" How are you doing, 'Blue Eyes'? "" "He smiled, we shook hands, and started chatting." "Dione Warwick was there..." "many celebrities." "I told him I was crazy about his song, " My Way" ." "He said: " Come up on stage and sing two lines with me."" "I went up on stage, and sang two lines with him." "Did he tell the audience what you were doing there?" "He said: "This is a good friend I just met." "He's Brazilian... he works for the SAS, and he'll sing with me."" " Why " My Way"?" "" My Way" is my life story." "Why?" "Tell me." "The lyrics describe my life." "He did all he could've done... traveled West and East... went to Europe, went everywhere... but he did it his way." "Right or wrong, he did it his way." "And I, for my turn, did the same." "I moved to the US with moxie only and did it my way." "I made it there, and I did it my way." "Two Saturdays a week, I play that song for the people outside." "They walk by and say:" ""Okay, okay!"" ""Two Saturdays a week?"" "Sorry, every other Saturday." "At what time?" "Around 1O am." "I'll turn it up!" "Ready?" "That 's right, gentlemen." "The voice could be better, but... next time it will be." "That was in the 6Os, a long time ago." "I get emotional listening to it." "I get... shivers." "That 's it?" "is it over?" "If I hear: " Fernando José!", it 's Globo TV." "" Fernando!", it 's my family." "" Baldy!", my Copacabana friends." "I love it here. I attend to old ladies on the beach... on the sidewalk, where l walk every day, religiously... even if I'm hurting here, and there." "How old are you?" "l'm 73." "Do you get along with all here?" "I do. I know everyone." "For instance, I care for... an elderly couple who lives across the hall." "They have no phones, no doorbell." "He's sclerotic, and she's very ill." "He's way past 9O... so I care for both of them." "Have you acted in many soaps?" "Over 3O soap operas." "And movies?" "62 movies." "Back in the old era of sex slapstick comedies... but I've also acted in an award-winning film." "I've had great times, I miss them dearly." "If I hadn't gotten deaf on the set of The Cláudia Affair... I was to get shot at my nape... with a squib this big." "The EFX guy sent a stand-in that day... who used a bigger charge." "So when I got shot on the set, I knew it:" "" l'm fucked!", but I did the whole scene." "I had a fake blood capsule in my mouth... and spat it on the wall." "The shot came out beautiful, but I couldn't hear a thing afterwards." "Welcome." "This is Dalva, the mistress of the house." "This is our home." "Make yourselves at home." "This is just a simple thing we prepared to welcome you." "Just a simple thing to welcome you." "Where do you work now?" "I'm an accountant, working freelance... since I sadly joined the ranks of the unemployed." "One's got to take menial tasks to survive:" "I'm a dispatcher, a freelance accountant... I solve people's red-tape at the DMV." "Oddly, what helped me when I set up home in Copacabana... was having lived in the North city area." "I felt out of place here." "I enjoyed having a beer with my buddies." "There are picket-fence houses there... we greet everyone:" ""Hi, Maria." "Hi, João."" "Here we lock ourselves in... and only know a neighbor's died if he's missing for more than..." "Henrique, our neighbor and good friend, a US Navy Major... who had a fall at home... disappeared for 2 days, and he's alive to tell the tale... cause he dragged himself to the phone to call for help, right?" "He was rescued, and thus we heard he'd had an accident." "In my old neighborhood, we'd say:" "" l haven't seen Maria today." "What 's up?"" "Then we'd knock on the neighbor's door." "I gotta tell you." "Just because I've lived here for the past 7 years... my former neighbors discriminate me." "Why?" "They say I'm rich." "" Oh, he lives in Copacabana."" "My dad is a tough German guy... with all the cons attached to it." "So he wasn't too happy to have a grandson so soon." "What do you mean, "a grandson so soon?"" "Did it just happen?" "Yes. I found out too late and had Lucas." "Because you wanted to, or you had to?" "Thanks to a series of coincidences... I was left with no other choice." "Did you live with your kid's father after his birth?" "For a short while." "Things didn't work out?" "Certainly not." "So your father wasn't too happy with your pregnancy?" "I think he had other plans for me... so he acted... I don't know." "I think he acted a bit... I don't know... a bit hasty." "Lucas wasn't even 1 yr. old, when he... handed me a small sum of money to buy an apartment." "Did he give you the money?" "He did." "As if saying: " Move out", right?" "Right." "Did you use to live in a big, spacious home?" "Big, right." "How did you feel moving into this studio?" "Claustrophobic." "And really scared." "I was 18 when I moved in... not even 19, and brought only my room's furniture." "I'd call and ask him if I could go sleep there but he wouldn't let me." "I really hated it here." "And now?" "Now it 's my home." "What bothers me is the noise." "Hearing other peoples' lives coming in through the vent through the windows." "Really?" "Yeah." "Cris' seen it." "For real?" "For real. I know when the downstairs neighbors are cooking... or arguing, or fighting with their children." "You hear it through the kitchen vent?" "l'd love to insulate that." "Do you hear much yelling, fighting?" "It 's annoying." "I tell Lucas... I teach him that 's wrong, you know... but it 's constant, so..." "How do you like Copacabana?" "lt 's terrifying." "Some days... this melting pot is anthropologically interesting... but, above all, I think I'd like to kill passersby who bump into me... its street vendors, its chaotic traffic." "I was born in Petrópolis and..." "HEAD DOORMAN was adopted with 8 months... by a family who raised me." "My adoptive mother is alive." "I haven't heard from my biological mother in 2O years." "I never knew my father, but I've always felt that... one of these days, a secret will be revealed:" "that my late adoptive father was my real father." "Cause we are identical... in the way we act... the way we talk, our personalities." "Too much of a coincidence." "ls he alive?" "No, he died 14 years ago." "Why don't you ask your adoptive mother?" "No. I know she'll tell me before she dies." "Do you see her often?" "Every week." "How old is she?" "75." "Are you gonna wait to hear the truth?" "She'll tell me, I know." "If not to me, she'll tell someone else." "Do you like her?" "Of course." "A lot." "She raised me. I should thank her for being here today... giving this interview." "I'm grateful to her." "I was already on my way to meet the guy up there." "Why?" "I was very sick, full of problems..." "As a kid?" "Yeah." "How do you relate to God, and religion?" "I thank Him every morning for being alive... for being able to walk, and talk." "How do you communicate with God?" "I look up, cross myself, and talk straight up to Him... as if I were having this conversation with you." "Really?" "But do you visualize him and all?" "No, I don't see anything." "Just in my imagination." "You said you didn't call Him "God", but something else." "" Boss." l often call him " Boss" ... cause He hires and fires us as He pleases." "Or "The-Guy-Beyond-The-Clouds."" "This is how I call him, with all due respect." "I dream of my father the most." "I always dream of him since he's passed away." "Not every night, but very often." "And I remember my dreams." "He always scolded me, gave me nasty sermons." "Do you see his face?" "Clearly." "You dream of your adoptive father, who you believe is your real father." "That 's right." "How do you feel when you wake up?" "Good or bad?" "I sometimes feel a little upset." "Depending on the dream, I feel sad." "I'm quite emotional, and sometimes I cry." "And the baby you found in the hallway, before Sérgio's tenure?" "No, no." "During Sérgio's tenure... about 3 years ago." "The baby's mother used to work at Mr. Roberto's ... apartment, #718." "One day, she showed up with a small baby in her arms." "Ten minutes later, she left without the child." "I thought:" ""There's something wrong."" "I took the elevator up to the 8th floor... came down the stairs, and found the baby on the 5th floor... by the trash shute door... lying on newspapers on the floor." "The child was healthy... clean, chubby, next to a bottle with juice, with a clean diaper." "I ran down, fetched Mr. Sérgio and Ms. Vera... to handle the situation." "And then you left?" "l did." "I came home, and drank some water to calm down." "But that scene kept haunting me... that baby on the floor." "All else was fine, no problem." "That scene shocked me, though... as if I were seeing myself lying there." "But that 's past, I'm ok." "Where were you born?" "Spain." "And how did you end up here?" "It 's fate." "It dictates our lives." "I was born in a village... near Santiago de Compostela, La Coruña." "Quite young, at 17, 18, I left... for Santiago, where l began work at a hotel... until I decided to come here." "By yourself?" "Yes." "Did you get a job right away?" "l was jobless for only 11 days." "Where did you find work?" "At the same home l work today, on Atlântica Ave., in Copacabana." "As a house maid?" "I've been a maid all my life, and I still am. I'm proud of it." "Some people are ashamed of it, but that 's ignorance... simplemindedness." "For those who work honestly, any job is good." "Have you been back to Spain since?" "Yes, 1O years after I'd settled in Brazil." "My employer paid for my trip." "I'd had my eldest daughter, and was pregnant with Fernando." "I went back to see my father." "Then I went back again last year... on a European tour, not only to Spain." "How could you afford such a trip?" "Don't we all save a few pennies?" "I've always lived sparingly." "I don't spend unless I have to, for fear I'll be in want." "So we save, and save all our lives." "Problems are inherent to life." "If you don't have the courage to face them, you fail." "I thank God I've had the courage to face them and move on." "I'm a winner." "So to those who are willing to fight, poverty is..." "There's no poverty." "That 's a fantasy... nonsense!" "People always talk about poverty." "There's no poverty here." "Only in places plagued by war... where there's misery, no land and no means to grow crops." "But in a country like ours?" "!" "We're the richest in the world." "To me, America is not the 1st world;" "Brazil is." "We have it all." "All it takes it the will to work, pal." "So you think poor people...?" "That 's bull!" "They don't want to do anything." "I've dealt with the poor for 4O years since I came to Brazil." "I know them." "They lie, you can't fathom what they do." "Are they lazy?" "Yes." "They don't want to work." "Rather, they don't like working." "They don't even bother going to hospitals or clinics... to get their free birth control pills." "They don't go." "They don't ?" "They don't bother." "I know." "They're too lazy to go." "And if you give them medicine, they forget to take it." "So it 's very tough." "Perhaps, we could find a way to educate them." "Simpleminded people, however, don't seem to learn." "You speak, they hear quietly." "You can tell them: " Here's a job, for a salary, will you take it?"" ""That lady is a bore!" C'mon, "The lady is a bore."" "" lt pays only R$ 2O reais, that 's good for nothing."" "For some people, a job means... sermons from your boss, being humiliated, and discriminated." "But it 's not, cause there are no employees and employers." "We only exchange services." "I work, you pay me." "You pay me, and I work." "We're co-dependent." "People think I side with the bosses." "I side with reality... cause I see both sides, and people often see only one." "How old are you?" "Five." "Do you love your grandma?" "is today Father's Day?" "Are you happy or sad?" "Sad." "Why?" "Cause my dad lives in Petrópolis, and he's traveled." "Aren't you going to see him today?" "But he's working there, right?" "He was kicked out of work." "He has to find another job." "He was kicked out of work?" "!" "Such is life, and incomprehension." "When you're a parent, you have to overcome and... overlook a lot of things, so you can move on." "And today most couples..." "ls his dad divorced?" "Yes, he is." "How long have you known Rio?" "For quite a long time." "First, I used to come here for Carnival only." "I always came with my agent." "Agent?" "Cause I used to be a dancer." "I did great shows." "I'm one of the Bronze " Stautues" ." "I toured São Paulo with my show... then toured Japan with it." "How long did you stay in Japan?" "For a year." "In Tokyo, in the country, what cities?" "I lived in Shirahama... but I visited Shimoda..." "Yokohama and Tokyo." "Did you dance, or dance and sing?" "I used to dance and sing." "I'd be delighted if you sang something in Japanese." "You want me to sing?" "Wait, let me see." "There was another one I used to sing." "Gee, after all this time, one forgets." "Where were you born?" "ln Salvador." "Why did you go to São Paulo?" "I moved to São Paulo cause... I was really eager to work... and my parents were poor." "But I didn't know a soul in there, you know?" "I got a job at a lady's home... doing the laundry, the ironing, cooking." "But I actually wanted to work out of the house... so other people hired me as a cleaning lady." "I'd leave for work, and come back." "I started seeing things, learning." "I build my house." "Then I met Ruth... and she said: "Wow!" "You're tall, bonny, and beautiful."" "" l'm producing a show."" "" Come on over and have a look." So I went." "Then she produced a show and cast me in it." "We staged it all across São Paulo... performing here, performing there..." "Were you ever in a relationship?" "Yes, I was." "Were you happy, or not?" "l was." "I lived with a German guy... for 1O years." "1O years." "We got separated quite recently." "Was it good?" "lt was great." "If I were meant to be married, I'd already be by now." "But I won't find a partner within these walls." "One's got to go out." "I can find men easily, but... I don't want a man to give me trouble." "I don't men to give me trouble." "I'd dreamt of living in Copacabana." "I used to live in Tijuca, and I liked it there." "But..." "I'd always dreamt of living here." "How long have you lived at the Master?" "13 years." "How do you like it?" "It 's great. lt 's calm, quiet." "Have you always been roommates?" "Yes!" "It 's always been she, my mother, and I." "For the past 3O, 2O years?" "For a long time." "Since I was born." "For 5O-some years." "You're sisters." "Have you always lived together?" "Always." "Were you married?" "I've never had the time, with so many things... and responsibilities." "There was no time left." "We work too hard." "And there's their health problems." "She's sick, my mom's sick, so I had to deal with it all." "I had no time to go out to date, especially here in Rio." "I'm afraid of these people... so many are drug addicts, and you can't tell." "You go to the beach, and you see people smoking pot, doing drugs... and you say:" ""God knows if they are..."" ""Those who pose as decent people, but..."" "l heard you paint." "l do." "I have a bunch of paintings around here." "There's that one there, and more in storage." "Would you comment on the one with a window?" "Oh, " Ocean view", right?" "It isn't finished yet." "It 's over there." "How is it?" "And how do you want it to be?" "I want to do it... as I envision it." "I wanted to include Botafogo... with Copacabana in the same painting, anyhow... including the Sugar Loaf, and Botafogo." "So you mixed in different city areas." "l am, like..." "What?" "Crazy." "Why?" "Cause I paint things that don't exist." "Stay there, boy." "Calm down." "If you leave him alone, he'll be quiet." "Go, go." "Where did you start playing?" "ln Bahia... at Galicia." "I'm from Bahia." "Since I was 12, I've played soccer." "In Rio, I've played in Bonsucesso, and Bangu." "Then I went abroad and played in Mexico for 2,5 years... in France for 3 years." "I've played in Mexico, so yo hablo español un poco." "I've played in France for 2,5 years, so... je parle français un petit peu." "I've played in the US." "I've played in Venezuela... then I quit playing soccer... and became a coach in Saudi Arabia, Thailand, and Sudan." "Tell us that episode in Maracanã." "When I got naked?" "Yes." "I coached ltaperuna, a small team... in the State Championship." "I'd been doing a good work... cause a good coach turns a small team into a major team." "I'd managed to take my team to that next round... so we'd get to the quarter-finals." "Then... on that fateful day, I knew it wouldn't happen." "We couldn't possibly win." "The match had been rigged." "Why?" "Cause that 's Brazilian soccer." "But you were in your coach uniform... I was. I took off my shirt first, then my pants, I was..." "ln your briefs or naked?" "Naked!" "They showed a close-up of my butt." "That was the end, at least so far, only God knows... of my soccer coaching career." "That was the end of it?" "So far, cause I haven't coached again for the past 5 years." "The TV, the papers..." "The press showed that for the world to see." "I may be the only nude who hasn't gotten rich." "I consider myself a great coach... but I'm also skilled as a composer." "I've put out a hasty record that should've been a bit more..." "Actually, all my life as a soccer player... my coaches used to urge me to calm down... cause I was always too anxious to score." "I felt driven to it by my pride..." "Likewise, I've recorded this album a bit too fast." "I want to send out a message." "It goes like this:" "Without schooling You ain't got a thing" "Without schooling You ain't got a thing" "Hey,kids,go to school" "Say no to drugs They can kill you" "Quit being a bum This is yourwake upcall" "Take yourstudies seriously And you'll hardly fall" "Without schooling You ain't got a thing" "That 's it. I got all..." "I got goosebumps..." "Would you please recite one of your poems?" "" Still..." "Still Life", 198O." "" My flesh, open red wound... burst up watermelon, exposed at the end of the fair."" "Do you live here alone?" "l do." "Didn't you ever get married?" "No, I've had a few flings... here, and there." "I've lived with guys... but never gotten married, in the actual sense of the word." "What do you do?" "Now, I have a temporary occupation, you know?" "I'm an antique..." "I'm almost an antique in this world." "So I've acquired many skills." "Since I'm currently unemployed... I'm putting my skills to good use." "I'm an entertainer at children's parties." "I do numerology charts." "Poetry doesn't earn me any money." "I attend many poetry readings... but I don't make any money with poetry." "Have you been published?" "Yes, I have." "I self-financed the edition of my first book... while I worked at a shop and made good money." "That was my first." "Then came a second... printed by a children's publishing house." "Do you still write?" "l do." "It 's that same old story, huh?" "That closet is full of my writings." ""Third second first."" "" Bedroom bed mattress people."" "" Lobby floor street asphalt car."" "How are you?" "l'm fine." "Who are you?" "I came to Rio from Barra de S. João to study." "Study what?" "Preparatory exams." "What for?" "Either Fashion Design or Architecture." "Do you prefer Fashion Design?" "Yeah, I do, but my grandfather prefers Architecture." "Who's your grandfather?" "Who's he?" "My grandfather is..." "twice my father, right?" "He raised me." "When I came here... the worst was not having him to wake me up." "He used to wake me up for school... and now he wouldn't say:" ""Time for school!"" "My grandma would cook me whatever I asked." "In the first months here, I'd wake up, thinking:" "" l'll ask mom to make me a potato pie."" "And I'd find myself alone here." "Over time, you learn how to be self-sufficient." "Now this is my home, I'm decorating it... and I fell better." "I even like it." "I wouldn't wanna live with my grandparents anymore." "Since I moved in, I hear these people upstairs... calling their daughter:" ""Tain!"" "Grown-ups calling, "Tain"?" "Yeah, "Tain"!" "I hear her voice, too, singing in the shower." "So I got really curious." "One day, she was crying, and I'd meant to tell her:" "" Don't cry, Tain", but I was too shy." "In the elevator, I always saw a bunch of little girls... and wondered if she was one of them, but I'd never ask." "Today, I was in the elevator, the door opened... and her mom, or a maid, cried:" "" Get the groceries, Tain!" l stared at her." "Today I found out who she was, after 4 months." "When I was little and people asked me:" ""What do you want to be when you grow up?"" "I had an answer at the tip of my tongue:" "" l wanna be a doctor."" "I don't remember exactly what I used to say." "But today, I'm almost grown up, and it 's hard to say... what I'll be when I grow older." "I don't see myself as anything... nor as a doctor." "I don't ." "I don't know what I want to be." "That 's it." "English Translation by:" "Monika Pecegueiro do Amaral"