"Such a pleasure doing business with you and Dethklok, Charles." "Well Roy, the way this band has been doing I think we'll all become very wealthy." "It's all quite metal." "What's that, uh, sound?" "oh." "Hey, where's all the fucking naked sluts?" "Dad, your stupid whore secretary told me that you" ""weren't to be bothered."" "I told her to go fuck herself." "And then I slapped her." "Now I need some money." "Now!" "I'm sorry gentlemen." "This is my son Damien." "Damien!" "This is a private meeting!" "You should be back at recording industry college!" "Fuck that stupid shit." "I'll be running this place anyway since you don't know what the fuck you're doing." "Look." "You'll just let anybody in here!" "Ha." "Look at this long haired monkey." "What kind of music do you play?" "Death metal." "You motherfucker." "Maybe it's best we all cool down, huh?" "You'll be sorry for that, you son of a bitch!" "I'll never fucking forget you did this!" "Sorry, uh... again." "What do I tell you guys before every meeting?" "Try not to punch people." "Try not to punch people." "That's correct." "What do you expect from us?" "These meetings are sooo boring." "We don't care about them." "You should care, William." "Let me just say this to everybody." "Pay attention to this contractual stuff because, uh, what if i'm not around in the future?" "God it's loud!" "Shut up with the fucking construction, man!" "Can you guys see that hungover people are trying to sleep?" "How the fuck can people listen to that racket?" "# [Death metal plays] #" "There." "That's better." "What's up bro!" "?" "!" "Who the fuck are you?" "I'm some dude!" "I snuck in." "How is that possible?" "I just snuck into your trunk last night!" "You guys were pretty hammered!" "Whose in charge of fucking security now?" "Dude you're my favorite singer!" "You gotta leave a message on my cell phone!" "Ugh." "Weird dude in my bedroom." "This doesn't look good." "[Jackhammer] oh, good mornins!" "Nice of yous twos to join us!" "Dudes, when the fuck is this place gonna be fuckin' finished?" "I need to be able to start sleeping again!" "Well, we're almost done now that we've picked the most beautiful and elegant interior designer in the whole world." "Who is that dildo?" "!" "Some guy who snuck right in!" "oh." "Murderface, don't." "Don't do that." "ow!" "ow!" "Stop!" "Fuck you lady!" "You're fired!" "Get out of here!" "I'm sorry it didn't work out you know." "Call me if you want to hang, you know what I'm saying." "or whatever." "You, weirdo." "There's the door." "Get the fuck out of here and uh, thanks uh, for buying our records." "My friends are never gonna believe me!" "See you guys later!" "ALLh Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" "ToKlh oh nooooos!" "Not agains!" "PICKLESh we keep forgetting that we're up here!" "SKWISGAARh Until renovations ams finished at least." "NATHANh Guys, we don't have a manager now so all the stupid fuckin' shit is up to us." "# Doodily ding dong tick-tock #" "# Doodily ding dong tick-tock #" "# Doodily ding dong tick-tock #" "# Doodily ding dong tick-tock #" "# Doodily ding dong tick-tock #" "# Dethklok!" "Dethklok!" "Dethklok!" "Dethklok!" "#" "# I'II... teach you... to... rock... #" "# Dethklok, Dethklok #" "# Skwisgaar Skwigelf, taller than a tree #" "# Toki Wartooth, not a bumblebee #" "# William Murderface" "Murderface Murderface #" "# Pickles the drummer doodily doo # ding dong doodily doodily doo #" "# Nathan explosion #" "Dethklok in a press conference recently announced plans for their first live show since its attack, giving a much-needed boost to the world's economy." "We know that the world is going through a tough time right now economically." "And we see a Iot of businesses scaling down." "But not us." "We're going to put on the biggest, most expensive elaborate live show that's ever been done." "We're gonna make spending money metal." "Check it out!" "We made solid crystal posters and they're not even for sale!" "Tickets are pentouple price!" "There's no recession for metal!" "The recession is an asshole!" "And with the untimely death of their manager, how will Dethklok continue to organize their multi krillion dollar business?" "We're not hiring a replacement manager." "Too fuckin' soon Kimosabe." "We're taking on all management, uh, thingies." "I ams in charge of Financials Treasuries." "I am head of Financial" "Business Affairs." "I'm chief of" "Financial Receipts." "Gathering." "Deputy President of" "Financial Monies." "I'ms in charge of snacks." "Fuckin' bullshit." "Aren't you frightened of mismanaging this band?" "Charles offdensen was considered by many a financial genius." "What are your credentials?" "Fuck you!" "That's my credentials!" "We know what we're fuckin' doing, as... and with Dethklok in charge of their finances, how will they control their spending?" "Receipts have been submitted to the media that show billions of dollars squandered on vanity projects." "Fifteen million dollars was spent on Dethklok kitty shades, sunglasses for cats." "Twenty million was spent on the "super tits candy snake project," which was never completed or defined." "And finally, $85.5 million was spent converting 90 acres of land and corn silos into "cool" "Ranch Dorito" dispensers." "[Cheering]" "Welcome to Dethklok's" "Dorito Land!" "[Electricity buzzing, people screaming]" "I'd like to remind you all that Dorito Land is not open to the public." "It's just for us." "Sorry." "Which brings us to now." "With the economic world in flux," "Dethklok has cancelled all interviews to work on" ""more important issues."" "Guys, ever since Murderface harassed that other interior designer and she fell out of our house, it made me think- we got to be the interior designers of" "Mordhaus." "All it is is making decisions." "I'll make a decision right now, check this out." "I decided to slice it." "So then what are we going to do about the living room?" "That's the most important decision because that's the room that everybody shares." "Am I right?" "Yeah, you're right." "Guys, wait!" "I've got it!" "I got it!" "A sandscape!" "A big badass indoor desert scene." " Sandscape right here!" " No!" "Living room is going to be" " a badass Arizona style." " No way!" " Tucson!" " Fuck no!" "Scottsdale!" "Right here man!" "You know how I feel about sand!" "But it's an escape!" "I hate this idea!" "Real cactus, real tumbleweeds, real snakes!" "Huh?" "Jackrabbit!" "Where's Toki?" "He'd love that!" "Where is he?" "Sand will get everywhere," "Murderface." "Vacuum." "No problem." "oh yeah, like that won't be a fuckin' nightmare." "oh, uh, guess I'm gonna leave the room." "Guess I'll vacuum my stupid fuckin' shoes again." "Tucson!" "Scottsdale!" "Ugh." "Do you know what goes into making a house a home?" "Fuckin' bad-ass concert lighting." "I'll show you." "Uh Toki." "You're supposed to be making snacks." "And all I'm smelling is burning plastic." "And you know that burning plastic isn't snacks." "I mean, Toki?" "Are you listening to me?" "I misses hims Pickle." "We all do." "Even though we don't say it." "Why don't we says it, Pickle?" "Toki... [sighs]" "Because admitting sadness makes you gay." "I feel we're taking Dethklok and managing it right downs the crapper." "Toki. okay, listen." "You're in charge of snacks." "And judging by your snack..." "[Nathan screaming]" "Ams dat Nathans screamins?" "Alright check this out." "It's scream activated lighting." "Whaaaaaa!" "See?" "You come home it's dark." "Where are my keys?" "Whaaaaaaaaaaa!" "over there." "Put it in every single room of the house." "I'm afraid that's going to cost an awful lot of money" "I'm just telling you." "Fuck money!" "ALLh Fuck money!" "Dis is my platinums practice chambers." "I has a solid ruby metronome." "And a champagne humidifier." "So fuckin' expensive dat it makes me horny." "This is my endangered species furniture room." "Seriously guys." "Fuck money." "My Lords may I please speak with you about a personal financial matter?" "What?" "Go!" "Talk!" "Masters our paychecks are not being honored at the bank." "ohhhhhhh." "Uhhh, lets see." "That's weird." "Yes sire." "It bounced." "Guys if their money's fuck'd then our could be too!" "We gotta find out what's going on with our money!" "You'll be sorry for that, you son of a bitch!" "I'll never fuckin' forget you did this!" "Since my poor father has been ill it's been my personal task to clean this company up." "Which brings me to Dethklok." "Dethklok is finally in a vulnerable position." "And they're getting no more of the label money until they renegotiate the terms that we think are fair." "And if they don't." "They'll be sorry." "NATHANh Guys, uh I just checked all of our accounts and uh, no money is coming in." "What the fuck is going on here?" "SKWISGAARh Uh, Williams?" "Did you pay the electrics bill?" "MURDERFACEh uh, what am I gonna pay it with?" "My farts?" "[Creaking]" "ALLh [screaming]" "REPoRTERh This is the footage that caught the world's attention." "Dethklok literally plummeting both financially and actually." "Hopefully this hiccup won't affect Dethklok's" ""most expensive concert ever."" "Gentlemen, for the first time" "Dethklok could be in grave financial peril." "Vader orlag?" "Dethklok lost a truly important part of their empire." "This man." "With him gone Dethklok hasn't the capabilities to make educated business decisions and in the meantime they're squandering billions." "Here to explain more about" "Dethklok's financial problems is" "Dethklok financial expert" "Wilmore Unduntingiminen." "Dethklok is acting as their own management and the limits of their financial ruin are endless." "And then there's this man." "Damien Cornickleson, heir apparent to" "Crystal Mountain Records... currently run by his well respected and terminally ill father Roy Cornickleson." "But what label owner in their right mind would devour their most profitable entity?" "Damien is a record executive... a cunning hotheaded opportunist." "Don't you see, they thrive on misleading, tricking and ensnaring." "They're like feral animals, rabid dogs thinking only of what will benefit them in the moment." "And since Dethklok is already making bad decisions." "exactly." "Why not make one more that could end up being their undoing?" "He is indeed a dangerous man." "our record's selling really well, at least that's what it says on the news." "So why should we renegotiate?" "Yeah!" "Why ams we recongotinates?" "We know your that your most expensive concert ever is coming up and if we don't hear the answer that we want, we have the right to shut down the event." "It's all in the contract we're faxing you." "But wes already spents our monies on de concert!" "Dats the only ways we gets it back!" "That's right." "I'll pull the plug on your show and you'll never make your money back." "You'll be doomed." "Renegotiate." "Dude this thing is fuck'd." "It's totally cluttered with addendums and appendixes and stuff like that." "But what does it mean?" "I think it means that this slick asshole is trying to fuck us." "We should get some help with this." "You know how bad that would" "look?" "We're supposed to be our own management and legal consult." "It's like admitting failure." "Wait, I totally know where to go." "Come on." "Listen, I know you guys are regular dildos and stuff but you sell records, so this shit should make sense to your fuckin' ass right?" "Yeah it should." "She's not answering." "Let me try to talk to her." "So does this make any sense to you?" "Uhhhhh." "My managers not in now." "No but." "You." "You." "Do you know what these words mean?" "Uhh, "exclusivity"?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Here we go, here we go." "Uhh, cross recoupment?" "Here we go." "I told ya." "My manager isn't here today." "okay gimme that back!" "This is a waste of time." "Ladies and gentlemen." "The store is closing in 5 minutes." "It's closing forever because it's a record store." "And, they're all closing." "I wanna thank all the employees for sticking around and sticking it through the tough times." "So enjoy illegally downloading all your mp3's online." "Hey guys I just thoughts about somethings." "What evers happens to" "The KIokateers whos nevers gots their paychecks?" "ooh yeah?" "# #" "Guys." "Why are we all so dreary?" "We shouldn't have to worry about this crap." "We never have before!" "We should just concentrate on what we're good at." "Death metal and interior design!" "Surprise!" "Take it in!" "I know, I know its supposed to be a group effort but look, check it out!" "I went above and beyond." "I gotta go take a shit." "[Nathan groaning]" "[Groans]" "Whoaaa!" "[Nathan shudders]" "Let's see how much this thing cost." "Guys I've been crunching numbers and financially," "I don't know how to say this, but we're fuck'd." "Thanks to Murderface's sandscape we're in the red." "Good one, Murderface." "The only way we're gonna make money back is if this concert is successful." "And until then, we're really gonna have to cut down on spending." "oh guys, we can't eats here, dis ams too expensive." "Now where are we gonna eat for restaurant night?" "This is the only restaurant" "I think we can afford now." "I didn't realize that 7-11 was a restaurant." "Listen." "The construction has stopped." "Dats because they don'ts gets paid, stupid." "ow!" "Guys, start turning the couches over." "We gotta find some loose change for some fuckin' hamburgers." "We're live tonight in Monaco eagerly awaiting night sold out record setting biggest most elaborate most expensive concert ever." "Quite a feat in this economic climate." "This is also the first show" "Dethklok has ever done without the aid of their manager/lawyer" "CFo Charles offdensen." "Look guys, tonight's the only night that we can really make back the money that we spent while we were acting like assholes as managers." "And I know the label has been threatening to shut this thing down so they can force us to renegotiate." "I think we just got to play this concert and call their bluff." "So uh, let's just play and hope for the best." "Go get em' guys." "Yeek." "Shitty speech, I'm sorry." "Go, uh..." "Nathan?" "Just stop talking." "Just stop talking." "# #" "# #" "We're here tonight to take all money and fuckin' destroy it." "It will rain worthless blood money onto your putrid souls." "Tonight we will watch money commit suicide." "[Angry screams]" "What's going on out there?" "The label shut us down." "What are we gonna to do?" "You boys got a show to do." "Don't worry, I'll be right here when you're done." "I'm going to have a little meeting with these guys." "# #" "# #" "[indistinct]" "# #" "We thought you were dead." "You're right, Nathan." "I was dead." "I made sure that I was pronounced dead on the premises." "Where were you for the last nine months?" "I can't tell you now." "But when the time is right," "I will." "There's something much bigger than us going on out there." "But that's a story for later." "In the meantime we got some work to do."