"Boner Balls." "Boner Forest." "Dense Boner Forest." "Pungent Crotch Sweat." "Milky Crotch Ooze." "Barking Vaginal Belch." "Protruding Vaginal Boner." "Inc." "I like that." "Rotten Booby Turds." "Bloody Butt Cough." "Angry Clit Spasm." "Sorry." "Whooping Fart Balls." "Lubricated Titty Burgers." "That's taken too." "Indifferent Rectal Semen Splooge." "Sorry." "That's taken?" "Come on!" "How are we supposed to name our startup company if every name is already taken?" "I told you you just have to be really original with your company name." "There are a lot of startup companies these days." "Inc." "That's available." "Congratulations!" "It doesn't quite roll off the tongue." "We won't get any attention with that name." "This sucks!" "Aren't you supposed to be in school?" "We don't need school anymore." "We're forming a startup company." "A startup company?" "A company that does what?" "– We don't wanna do anything." "– That's why we have a startup company." "We're sick of school." "But all the good startup company names are taken." "There's more to starting a company than having a catchy name." "there isn't." "You guys!" "It's awesome!" "you guys!" "I've got it." "It's the greatest company name ever!" "Tell us!" "Washington Redskins." "Washington Redskins?" "It's so sweet!" "I'm pretty sure that's taken." "and the trademark got pulled." "We can use it!" "And the logo!" "Washington Redskins?" "– I like it." "– Me too." "and it's instantly recognizable." "This doesn't seem legal." "You're not hearing me." "The trademark has been pulled." "We can do whatever we want!" "{\*THE WASHINGTON REDSKINS CORPORATE HEADQUARTERS}" "I just..." "I just thought our company name would be more like original." "It's a strong name." "but it was taken." "But maybe we need a name that's more affirming." "Like shows what we stand for." "guys." "bro down." "I'm not sure this is the name people will give money to." "We already got a dollar!" "$1 pledged!" "I told you guys!" "Washing Redskins totally gets people's attention." "– Another $2!" "– No way!" "here we come!" "Another new startup company is gaining a lot of attention on the Internet." "They're a company that does absolutely nothing." "And they're called the Washington Redskins." "The Redskins started as what appeared to be some kind of adolescent prank. it has become one of the most heavily funded projects on Kickstarter." "Why did you give $5 to the Washington Redskins Kickstarter?" "I don't know..." "They don't do anything." "That's pretty sweet." "I thought it was funny." "245)}you are helping us in our quest to not have to do stuff." "245)}you will receive this luxurious company micro badge. using the Internet to raise money without having to pay back your investors." "A tactic that some believe is unfair and impersonal." "{\*LET THE REDSKINS DO NOTHING FOR YOU!" "}" "Washington Redskins." "Go fuck yourself." "we'd be happy to take your money." "Just go to our Kickstarter page." "idiot." "Fuck you." "Bye-bye." "I know." "My name is Dan Snyder." "I'm the president and owner of the Washington Redskins." "Please take a seat." "I like that." "we ask that you please stop using the name Washington Redskins for your organization." "Stop?" "But why?" "and we are a football team." "You have no right to use our name to get attention." "The trademark got pulled." "I'm totally free to use the name." "could you get that?" "Washington Redskins." "Go fuck yourself. it's offensive to us?" "How is it offensive?" "How is it offensive?" "Jesus!" "Mr. Cartman." "We have no wish to be associated with people who actively do nothing." "Make us feel like a joke!" "Guys!" "We have total respect for you. it was out of deep appreciation for your team and your people. but won't you just do it out of decency?" "Because I don't want to." "'cause it's like super hard. go fuck yourself." "people are saying they are inspired by the Washington Redskins." "that now more groups are doing the same." "More news on the Washington Redskins tonight." "Their defiant f-you attitude has caught the attention of terrorist group ISIS." "The terrorists say they admire the Washington Redskins and want to follow their business model." "there's a people here who are not happy about the use of the name." "The football Washington Redskins." "But does anyone really care about them?" "this is so cool!" "We only have six days to go before our pledged money becomes liquid." "we need to talk." "I don't think we wanna be a company that ISIS looks up to." "We should issue a statement saying we don't sanction it." "you guys!" "We started this company to do nothing." "it'll put it all at risk." "People won't support us if we dig in our heels and don't care about anything." "Digging in our heels is what the Washington Redskins are all about!" "guys!" "you have to be honest about yourself." "you're pretending to be about more than money." "your NFL players get caught molesting little boys." "That's the Catholic Church." "same thing!" "let's use the Church. then your clergymen are getting caught beating up their wives in an elevator." "– That's the NFL." "– It's the same thing! and it'll most likely be Butters." "but..." "I'm not happy with the direction this company is taking." "What are you gonna do?" "Go back to school?" "man!" "Maybe I'll start my own company." "You can't call yourself Washington Redskins!" "I don't want to." "It's a stupid name!" "I guess everything's out on the table now." "I guess everything is." "Do you think our name is stupid too?" "I don't know." "But I don't know if my future is with this company either." "I wish you both well in your new venture." "Goodbye." "Hang on." "Is this the company where I don't get raped?" "right?" "I'm gonna stay in here." "Is the League {\*just }gonna sit by while my team and my players are compared to ISIS?" "commissioner Goodell." "What are you going to do about this? and do whatever is necessary to accomplish that." "We will continue to identify and add expertise to our team." "That's the most ridiculous nothing answer I've ever heard." "What are you gonna do now?" "Everyone will participate in education sessions starting in the next month." "This thing is broken!" "We can add... and we will do more... do more..." "Call the NFL owners on Skype." "This thing is broken again!" "And so I call upon the help of all owners." "You cannot let my people be belittled like this." "You don't want to be dealing with this stuff." "Let the Goodell-Bot do it." "This stupid thing isn't working!" "I will get it right..." "That thing hasn't worked right since we bought it." "My team is starting to lose hope." "You have to use your influence to make these people change their name." "Did you tell them we're about honor and integrity?" "we must stay out of it more than even usual." "So I'm alone?" "What if they ridicule the 49ers team next?" "because his eyes are too far apart?" "My eyes aren't too far apart!" "will that make you happy?" "I guess we can live with that." "Then it is decided." "We will make them change their logo." "Begin mass behind the scenes under the table enforcement of our wishes now!" "Go!" "Thank God!" "Fuck you!" "out there!" "Fuck you!" "Fuck you." "Those words mean a great deal to us." "They help us express just how we as a company see things differently. but you'll agree Washington Redskins is the most exciting." "the Redskins have been on the forefront of Kickstarter as a company that is always finding new and exciting ways to tell people to go fuck themselves." "Our company is thrilled to show you all our latest innovations." "we have moved the couch from the left side of the office to the right side." "But we didn't stop there." "We also added a new rug that goes better with our office drapes." "And probably the most exciting of all:" "we've actually updated the company from the inside out." "We received a lot of pressure to change our Redskins logo." "we want to be firm." "But we also want to be flexible. but still define us as the leading Kickstarter company." "What we came up with is the new company logo that I think you'll all agree is very exciting." "they'll think "titties and balls." ""we don't fucking care." "Redskins!" "dude." "and we still have 14 days to go!" "bro?" "I just never saw myself owning a company called Furry Balls Plopped Menacingly on the Table." "Give it time." "It'll grow on you." "Why don't we just call it Untitled Startup Company?" "That sounds like we don't have anything." "We've been through this already." "I know that." "But a good company should never have seven words in its title." "What do you mean?" "there's a perfect startup company name." "And I need to be free to go find it." "I don't want Furry Balls Plopped Menacingly on the Table to hold you back." "dude." "Good luck with yours." "Harry." "Everyone is using Kickstarter for everything!" "we get 5%." "and we just make money!" "here we come." "guys!" "Happy deadline day!" "We made it." "We can stop doing stuff and see how much our company made in... 1... that's the deadline!" "boy!" "This is like Christmas morning!" "What the hell?" "Can't find the server?" "Butters." "I wanna know how much we're worth!" "It's not coming on my phone either." "Holy Mother Mary!" "Somebody raided Kickstarter and burned the building to the ground!" "Somebody killed Kickstarter!" "Who the hell would burn Kickstarter to the ground?" "my God!" "That weird little Jewy guy." "Kyle!" "What the hell is wrong?" "Can't find the server?" "Kickstarter..." "You son of a bitch!" "I just can't get it to load." "Nobody can." "It's gone!" "You couldn't take it that our company was more successful than yours!" "My company was on Kickstarter too." "– Why would I get rid of it?" "– Somebody did!" "It doesn't matter." "There's something a lot more important here." "You guys remember when we first decided to start a company together?" "We all had a common goal." "And we weren't gonna let anything stop us from getting to the bro down." "But somewhere between starting up and selling out... we lost our way." "We can't do this on our own." "We need each other." "He's right." "– We should do a merger." "– A merger?" "It's too late for that." "Kickstarter is gone!" "We don't have a company." "We don't have anything." "we do." "We have a sweet name." "I was wrong." "Washington Redskins is the perfect name." "I think maybe I was just jealous that I didn't come up with it." "It is really sweet. and the rest would figure itself out." "fellas." "It will be like old times." "Cartman?" "Fuck you!" "everyone!" "thanks." "How do you stay relevant in a volatile marketplace?" "our goal at Washington Redskins is to not do anything and make money not doing it." "many saw their startup projects die." "we saw opportunity. you can now go fund yourself. and give the Washington Redskins 5%." "You will literally be giving us money for doing absolutely nothing." "It is the biggest fuck you we have ever come up with. a new and improved logo." "Redskins! as the Dallas Cowboys get set to take on the Washington Redskins. not Washington Redskins the audacious crowdfunding company." "the Redskins are a scam." "– The crowdfunding company Redskins." "– That's right." "you've got terrorist groups using the Redskins to raise their money." "I don't like what the Redskins are doing." "– Those Redskins." "– Whatever." "It's over." "Our name has been reduced to a stereotype and a joke." "Let's just go home." "We cannot give up." "We have been through too much together." "We have fought eagle and bear." "The Eagles only beat us by 3 points!" "But I just feel stupid wearing this know." "guys." "Where will we go?" "What will we do?" "Don't let them break you!" "Don't let them win! but there isn't anyone to kick off too." "And Jerry Jones must be happy." "another win for the Cowboys." "It appears a lone Redskin is making his way out of the locker room." "The Cowboys kick it off." "Just stay down!" "For the love of God!" "Stop!" "Make it stop!" "just make him stay down!" "Redskins!" "guys?" "We finally did it." "I might just sit here until my ass fuses into the couch." "What the hell is that?" "Change your name!" "It doesn't belong in today's society!" "– Change our name?" "– You all thought our name was sweet!" "There's nothing sweet about a people who are decimated. and left their leader to be massacred by cowboys in a defiant last stand." "When was this?" "Last night." "we are asking all your subscribers to boycott you!" "That's right." "ISIS will no longer use your company for its fundraising." "ISIS!" "What the hell do we do?" "I guess we gotta go back to school."