""Italy was relieved today upon learning..." ""that the country's high court had ruled that influence peddling is not a crime." ""Said Franco Ferrarotti, an Italian sociologist:" ""'Essentially, the judges are saying what everybody believes.'" ""He was referring to raccomendazione..." ""the Italian custom of seeking special treatment from people in power." ""'This is our version of the Protestant ethic,' Mr. Ferrarotti said." ""The case concerned a clerk of a civil court in Potenza..." ""who was jailed for promising to speed up someone's trial." ""Evidence showed that he received 88 pounds of fish..." ""in return for his assistance."" "Hello." "Yeah, she's here." "She's on duty today." "The same, undercover." "Yeah, let me have her call you back." "Deb, it was your mom." "You're complaining about your paper on ethnicity." "Here's some interesting stuff from your own background." "We're from Potenza?" "I thought we were Napoli-Daboli or whatever." "Neapolitan." "But this is about Italy as a whole." "Did the squirrels eat the bread I put out for the ducks, or somebody sweep it up?" "I do know that Meadow stepped in some soggy bread with her bare feet." "You should've heard it." "What's that?" "This is the New York Times that your friend here has delivered to him at school... for his Social Studies requirement, then he doesn't read them." " I find them piled in his room." " Make a go of it at that new school." "You got no idea what we did to get you in there." "There is no reason you shouldn't be able to pass Social Studies." "You passing Social Studies?" "You just revealed your own ignorance." "It's only been five days." "We didn't get grades yet." "I what?" "I revealed my own what?" "Look at that." "Now, he's reading." " Hey, everybody." " Where's Furio?" "How you doing, Ton'?" "A.J., finish getting dressed." " You want some coffee?" " No." " Has Furio got that bug again?" " Tony likes to mix it up, you know." "Different cars." "What, the Caprice?" "No, he's turning off." "Take me to my uncle's doctor." "Furio called me." "He's going to the fucking track today." " So what about it?" " I don't know." "I'm driving again, all of a sudden." "So what?" "I gotta explain why I want you with me this week?" " God forbid you'd explain." " That's right." " Now you're gonna get fresh about it?" " I'm just saying, I mean, I'm glad to do it." "I'm glad you're glad." "You know, your father was like a mentor to me." " Right." " A standup." "You ask anybody." "Your old man was a legend." "He single-handedly hunted down that New England crew." "Brought the war home to them up there." "Another Chevy." "Nuns." "Might be undercover Feds, but I doubt it." "He must be colicky." "I think he likes your hair better that way." "Mr. Soprano." "There she is." " You be good now, don't start." " You ought to see my finish." "You get sued for talk like that nowadays." "Then cancel my appointment." "Let me die now." "If a man can't voice to a beautiful woman... the zephyrs that are blowing through his mind..." "God, listen to him today." "Go in there now, and strip down to your shorts." "You see now?" "I'm not gonna touch that line." "Too much class." " But as for that lovely laugh line..." " Come on, handsome, we're busy." "Give me that cheek, right here." " I surrender, do with me what you will." " Okay." "The doctor will be with you both." "So, what'd you wanna see me about?" " My trial starts a week from Tuesday." " You'll beat it." " Melvoin's good." " We have to change our arrangement." "Which arrangement is that?" "These fucking lawyers are taking my internal organs." "$1 million for this trial, Melvoin and Hirshorn are charging." "And that was bad enough." "Now they put this Harvard kid on, this lackey." "I don't know what the fuck he does." "And then they just decided we needed audibility experts to testify... you can't definitively state what people are saying on the government tapes." "I could fucking tell them that." "Those guys, they got sound graphs and shit." "$50,000, the cocksuckers are charging." "Plus the minimization expert, plus the fucking monthly expenses." "Fucking lexis fees, the Xeroxing." "An entire Northwest forest must've given its life in Xerox paper... for this one fucking trial." "I said to Mel, "Can't we just at one fucking meeting..." ""all read from the same sheet of paper, pass it around?"" "Our split stays the same." "You kept me in place as boss to take the heat off you." "My legal problems have let you go around like a gabavreche..." " two fucking years now." " There you go." "Ten points." "I got medical bills, too, Anthony." "I got cash flow problems of my own." "A one-time hit, $50,000, $75,000 to cover the audibility expert." "I got two kids in private schools." "Goddamn it!" "Get your shy running right." "That's what you should be focused on." "Would you like to try some kielbasa?" "Kentshire farms." "Nitrate-free." "I mean, don't get me wrong." "I like Versace's dinnerware... but stamping your face on every plate..." "The ego!" "Look who's here." "My God, what are you doing home?" " I got to get this out to my car." " Is that for us?" "You're in a good mood." "Want me to fix you a plate?" "Will you shut that pocket rat up?" " You wanna say hello to Danielle?" " Not really." " I should go, anyhow." " Enjoy your wine." " Don't listen to his bullshit." " I got to get up early tomorrow." " No matter how much the john offers you?" " Pig." "This is beautiful." " Where'd you get it?" " You said you were gonna go." "Go." " I got to get some sleep." " I should go." "Froze to death in that mall today." "They go crazy with the air-conditioning." " So, when am I gonna see you again?" " I'll call you." "Okay, sweetie." "Some of those bags look like Gucci." "Yeah, he gets that stuff all the time." "His cousin's a liquidator." " Bye." " See you." " You are so fucking rude." " I had a horrible goddamn day." "She's over here all the time lately." "Tony still acting all mean?" " Cosette, quiet." " Fucking asshole." "Ever since I questioned his judgment on some RalphielJackie Junior problem." "Like he's fucking infallible." "Pope Tony xxiii or some shit." "And now, of course, he starts in with my father so I can be compared all negative." "You never know, I could be on the endangered species list." "Chrissy." "Gonna get high?" "Maybe I'll just smoke some." "That's more addictive than shooting." "I don't do it every fucking day now, like some people." "I'm just chipping, I got it under control." "Chrissy, Tony loves you." "Why would he have you made if he didn't depend on you?" "He can depend on me." "When the fuck have I ever not been there 100 percent?" "Want some?" "Can I talk to you a minute?" "Turn this off?" "Turn it down." "I'm worried, Tony." " About my weight?" " About money." "You're getting a little less allowance than usual." "I told you, it's temporary." "Super Bowl last year, we didn't lay enough off." "No, it's not just that." "I'm worried about you, about the future... about me and the kids, if something happens to you." " I don't provide for you?" " Now." "I saw Angie Bonpensiero today." "She was handing out free Polish sausage at the supermarket." "Don't start." "I supported her." "You're so worried about the money." "Who is gonna support your children and me... if, God forbid, something happens to you?" "That's the point." "Sil?" "Paulie?" " That is frightening." " You'll be taken care of." "You're set in perpetuity." "There's money in overseas accounts." "I don't have the serial numbers." "You'll have them when the time comes." "Not now." "For your own benefit." "So you're not an accomplice." "Jesus Christ, I been busting my pick all day long... to bring home the money you're so concerned about." "I thought maybe I could have a sundae and zone out in front of the frigging TV." "Because, A: you're right, my job is extremely stressful..." "I am talking about some simple estate planning, Tony, that's all." "My cousin, Brian Cammarata, has helped lots of people set up trusts for their kids..." " begin asset allocation..." " I got to spell this out for you?" "I can't declare X amount of my income." "Your consulting fees from Barone Sanitation you do." "We file a tax return to justify the house, the cars." "We could put aside some of that to start a portfolio." "Stocks?" "You gotta be high in the corporate structure to make that work." "We don't have those Enron-type connections." "Bonds, then." "There are these things called "REITs" Brian told me about." "Bonds, where's the capital for that?" "In the Caymans or under the mattress... or wherever you put it at zero growth." "The money stays put." "With what's going on globally..." " There's always some excuse." " There's no cash in this house." "Not since our last bust." "Check the vents." " And I provide for my children." " Yes, Tony, you do." "But I don't know how you do it, because you won't tell me." "Let me tell you something, or you can watch the fucking news:" "Everything comes to an end." "Good morning, Ton'." " They over there?" " I was able to reach everybody." "What the fuck are you doing?" " What?" " You're wasting fucking ice." " It's mostly melted." " You're fucking arguing with me now?" "No, Ton'." "You don't see the monthly statements." "We're hemorrhaging money out of here." "No, you're right, I don't." " Think that shit grows on trees?" " Ice?" "No, I don't." " Are you getting cute with me?" " No." "I think you are." "You're getting a fucking attitude on you." "I'm not." " Ice, when it hangs around..." " Georgie, be quiet." "But it gets watery." "It dilutes the drinks..." " especially Scotch." " Jesus Christ." "Here, throw it all away." "Waste it all, fucking John D. Rockefeller!" "Waste it all!" "Conserve." "Where were you?" "I wanna know why there's zero growth in this family's receipts." "Where's the fucking money?" "You're supposed to be earners." "That's why you got the top-tier positions." "So, everyone, go out to your people on the street, crack some heads." "Create some fucking earners out there." "The guy..." "We talked about this, over at the other place with the guy." "The councilman." "What the fuck happened to that?" " It petered out." " "It petered out."" " It died on the vine." " "It died on the vine."" "It died on the vine." "The guy, he moved or something." "Nobody knows what the fuck I'm talking about!" "We hear you." "My uncle... the boss of this family... is on trial for his life." "And what you people are kicking up to him is a fucking disgrace." "You know how much lawyers cost?" "A major RICO like his, I'm the only one supporting him." "This thing is a pyramid, since time immemorial." "Shit runs downhill, money goes up." "It's that simple." "I should not have to be coming here... hat in my hand... reminding you about your duty to that man." "And I don't wanna hear about the fucking economy either!" "Sil, break it down for them." "What two businesses have traditionally been recession proof... since time immemorial?" "Certain aspects of show business, and our thing." "Now, that's it, that's all I got to say." "Frankly, I'm depressed and ashamed." "Is that what your coach laid out for you as a training breakfast?" "The shelf in the garage is still loose." "You went down in the garage?" "I'm gonna go check it out." "You said you'd wake up early, come to church with me... then go online and register for your classes." "I'll miss Grandma and Grandpa at dinner." "There's a back-to-school party for Hadley." "These boring Sunday dinners." "Can one of my new friends eat over?" "Aunt Ro and Uncle Ralph will be here, too, but I'm sure we can fit." " You're not gonna lay out, Dad?" " It's too cold." "Ralphie and Ro are coming out here today?" "I thought we got that straightened out months ago." "And it's not "Uncle Ralph."" "I asked you about inviting them the other night, and you said..." "I must've been focused on something else." "It's Ro's birthday, and she's very down." "Anthony." "I ever tell you about the time I had a Harley?" " Whoa, cool." " '74 Shovelhead." " I could blow off Porsches on that thing." " Not my dad's Boxster." " What's your name?" " Matt." "Matt, no offense, but your dad's Boxster is a Porsche with panties." "He knows what I'm saying." "I mean, that's for the Hamptons, the Boxster." "I'm talking Turbo Carrera." "One time, I'm alongside this Turbo with doctor plates." "We come off the line, he's got this big Jew grin." "You're not Jewish are you?" " Half." " Anyway, he knows it's all in fun." "At the Passaic Avenue and New Dutch Lane intersection... we're doing 110." "Boom!" "Right through the light." "He wasn't grinning then, boy." "I look back." "He's white as false teeth." "Jason Mingelli's parents let him get a YZ-250." "You get on that bike, I will cut your legs off before the bike does." " I had the high handlebars, you know." " Bruce Dern, don't you have to go?" "I got to hit the little boy's room." "You guys need some help?" "In my day, there was a motorcycle called the Vincent Black Shadow." " Boy, did that thing take off." " The hoods all drove those." "They beat you up that time, you remember, on City Island?" "He'd just gotten out of the Navy." "I think he weighed 105 pounds." "Did you see any action in World War II, Hugh?" "A little bit." "I was stationed in Nova Scotia." "But I caught diverticulitis." "It's the weight loss she's talking about." "Oh, my God, you're eating, I'm so sorry." " Don't worry about it, come in." " You want something?" "No, my God, thank you." "I just came over to borrow the samovar for my cousin's baby shower." "This is my friend, Danielle Ciccolella." "This is Christopher's cousin Tony." " Tony." " How you doing?" "His cousin Carmela." " This is a beautiful home." " Thank you." "Where you from, Danielle?" " Whippany." " Want some anisette?" "No, thanks." "This thing needs polishing." " There's a bathroom downstairs." " It's me, Janice." " There's a bathroom downstairs." " I know." "What?" " What are you doing?" " Nothing." "Come on." "I knew it." "Go ahead, you can do that." "How's Ro doing down there?" "Very quiet, you know, it's to be expected." "They got her on medication." "I don't think it's helping." ""Ah, Bartleby!" "Ah, humanity!"" "Danielle, did you see the loggia?" "That loggia was my daughter's idea." "Nice?" "Danielle, come check this out." "Come on." "What are you doing to me here?" "I was stationed in Nova Scotia." "Well, I told you that." "Anyway, there was nothing for them to do in Nova Scotia." "Great seafood, but other than that..." "That's a lot of cracked corn." "All the ducks, they've flown south for the winter." "So?" "I'll be ready for next season." "Thanks." "Red Suburban." "I'll be over at Italianissimo." "Good news about the Esplanade." "The legislature's voted to refund the special Newark development district... along Frelinghuysen Avenue, north from the Museum of Trucking." "Because of the vote, Omni is gonna put up a hotel with a galleria... on the first floor." "Word came down yesterday." "A galleria?" "Fifty stores selling sneakers and turnip greens." "It's a demographic imperative." "Hoboken's maxed out." "Your Prada people are already moving to Down Neck." "Where are they gonna go next?" "My old man had a piece of the garbage transfer station... in Lower Manhattan, back in the '70s." "People told him:" ""Start buying up the abandoned buildings around here."" " But he couldn't see it." " And now it's TriBeCa." "I tell you, Tony..." "I'm borrowing money myself to grab up parcels along Frelinghuysen Ave... through a shell company." "And a private citizen like you?" "Who's gonna quibble with patriotic entrepreneurism?" "My uncle has property down on Frelinghuysen." "Mr. Soprano." "I remember you" "You're the one that made my dreams come true a few kisses ago" "Oh, boy." "I'm gonna be busy the next couple months." "But after that, what would you say... me and you... una bella giornata, to that city called Atlantic?" "I have many dear friends there." "I could show you quite a time." " Thank you, but I don't gamble." " With me, it's never a gamble." "You know, today is my last day." " Where you going?" " Back to school." "Anyway, I'll come say goodbye when you're done here." "Excuse me." "All the fucking luck." "So, what is it today?" "It's becoming clear to me..." "Murf can't run my operations while I'm in court." "He's starting to forget things." "His words..." "Sometimes there's food on the front of his shirt, the poor bastard." "I'm gonna move Bobby up." " I think it's a good choice." " I wasn't asking, I'm telling." " So you know who to talk to." " Bobby know yet?" "I think we should bring him in here." "He's gonna be a very happy man." " Thought you were at the beauty parlor." " I'm going to get the last of the tomatoes." " Yeah, they were good last night." " A little late in the season for ducks, no?" "Not necessarily." "The ones from upper Canada, this is the south to them." " Speak." " I have a collect call for Mr. Walters." "Okay, operator." "John?" "Right on time." "That's all I got, pal, time." "What the fuck happened out there?" "Didn't Tony tell you?" "Sil?" "They mentioned in passing that you were doing the county book in Youngstown." "Didn't have long to talk." "Hello?" "Let me first say, I can't tell you how touched I was... when my nephew told me you wanted me to call." "Anthony only talks to me through middlemen." " So, what did they pinch you for?" " Gun charge." "I drove out to visit Lenny Scotise." "Don't know if you know Lenny." " Him and I used to have that little club..." " Doesn't matter." "Anyway, my first night here... we drive out to visit Dean Martin's birthplace in Steubenville." "Cops pull us over for no left blinker." "Long story short, they find a piece under the seat." "Fucking.38." "Turns out it was used in an unsolved murder out here from eight years ago." " Jesus." " Yeah." "So what can I do to help?" "You're too much." "Nothing." "The lawyer said they'll keep us here as long as they can... till they make their case, or unless somebody cops to it." "Keep your dick up." "Well, I..." "Leave that." "Don't touch that, my program's coming on." "John, love you, babe." "Don't let me rot, now." " Turns out I gotta work tonight." " I see." "You see what?" "You're so concerned about finances... where do you think it comes from?" "Be careful driving home." "There he is!" "Here's to Newark's newest hotel." "Anything else with the Esplanade I should know?" "No." "It's the girls from Icelandic Air!" "Come on in!" "Hey, how are you?" "All right, let me get the fuck out of here." "How's Junior?" " He's gonna be all right." " Tell him he's in our prayers, etc." "I'll be sure to let him know." "One other thing, though." "John said he went to a cookout at your house." "A don doesn't wear shorts." "All right, come on." "Elevator's here." "So where are you girls from?" "Reykjavik." "You do and you'll clean it up." " Christopher!" " Yeah!" "Let's go!" "What's up, T?" "You have a good time tonight?" "All right." "Learn anything?" "Like what?" "Anything." "You had a sit-down with two bosses." "You got a real hard-on for me, that's all I know." " You think so?" " It's fucking obvious." "Take the parkway." "You know, for all the things there are to eat on this island... breadfruit, mangoes, papayas, not to mention the fish in the sea... there's no question about us surviving." "We could go on here for years." "And I mean years." "Where are you going?" "Get that." "Hello?" "Who did?" "They did?" "I'll tell him." "Tell me what?" " That was Melvoin." " So, it was Melvoin." "What the fuck is this, Mother May I?" "Go ahead, tell me!" "He just had a call from some source of his." "Dr. Schreck's office isn't safe to talk at." "The FBI had an undercover in there since January." "Or D-day or something." "The agent's been pulled to testify at your trial." "All right, pull up over there." "Who's that, Bobby Bacala?" "See over there?" "Guy in there killed your father." "What the fuck are you talking about?" "Barry Haydu." "Detective Lieutenant in the Clifton Police Force." "Retired today." "That's his retirement party." "Everybody always told me it was a fucking cop." "I thought he was dead." " My mother can't even talk about it." " Did the hit for Jilly Ruffalo." "Him and your old man were in the can together." "Jilly stabbed your old man's cellmate to death." "So, when your old man got paroled, he tracked down Jilly." "Took out his eye so bad, he couldn't even put a glass one in." "Loyal, your old man." "That's what I heard." "Some guy's eye." "They hit my dad right outside my house, right?" " He was bringing home a crib for me?" " Yeah." "Well, no..." "He was outside the house, but he wasn't carrying a crib." "He had a bunch of TV trays." "Could've been a crib just as easily." "That rat fuck was in uniform then." "Gambled like you wouldn't believe." "He did it on contract." "Made a lot of money over the years." "So, how come he's still fucking walking?" "Because he's been useful." "But he's outlived it... as of his cute little ceremony this afternoon." "Is that him?" "With the sombrero on?" "No, you can't tell from here." "Maybe..." "Yeah, probably." "Here." "Nice house, apparently." "They say he paid cash for it." "Good luck." "Questions?" "Kill the dome light." "Said, "Hey, Joe"" "That's the lamest plan I ever heard." "It is not a lame plan, we got it all worked out." "And we got the time to place everything." "It's lame." "Magnum, why are you being so negative and hostile?" "Higgins, he's one of the biggest drug dealers in the Midwest... and he's as dangerous as Quenneville..." "What the fuck is this?" "You're cleaned out." "Nothing to rob in this place." "Well, there's this." "Okay." "You know I'm a police officer." "Engraving on this watch says you retired today." "Every little bit helps." "Rough divorce?" "She must be a real vile twat." "Hope she didn't pass it on to your daughter." "Listen to me." "It's not too late to cut your losses." "Unlock me, give me the weapons." "I promise you I will do whatever is in my power to help you." "Maybe." "Let's come back to that." "You remember Dickie Moltisanti?" " No." " No?" "Is that what you said?" " Is he a friend of yours?" " He was my father." "Steak san, Newport fries?" "Scrambled eggs, no oil, tomato slices." "So, are you... mentally prepared for this promotion?" "Yeah." "How's that steak?" "It's okay." "Hon?" "Another steak san over here." " Rare." " Coming up." "You know, because it's..." "It's a lot of added responsibility." "I think it should've happened sooner." "How's your family doing, you know... since the tragedy with your dad?" "Rough on my mother." "How old is she now?" "She's 69." "Mom really went downhill after the World Trade Center." "You know, Quasimodo predicted all this." "Who did what?" "These problems." "The Middle East, the end of the world." "Nostradamus." "Quasimodo's the Hunchback of Notre Dame." "Right." "Notre Damus." "Nostradamus, and Notre Dame." "It's two different things completely." "It's interesting, though, they'd be so similar, isn't it?" "And I always thought, "Okay, Hunchback of Notre Dame." ""You also got your quarterback and halfback of Notre Dame."" "One's a fucking cathedral." "Obviously." "I know, I'm just saying." "It's interesting, the coincidence." "What, you gonna tell me you never pondered that?" " The back thing with Notre Dame?" " No!" "Look, I don't know who told you I had anything to do with your father's death... but their information is faulty... or they are deliberately not telling you the truth." "Are you inferring that you didn't take cash from Jilly Ruffalo... to whack my father while he was carrying a TV tray for me to watch TV?" "I don't know anybody named Ruffalo." "You're being set up!" "He's lying to you, whoever he is." "It wouldn't make any difference." "What do you mean, it wouldn't make any difference?" "He wants you dead." "All right, look." "I got a boat." "It's a Sea Ray 230." "It's almost brand new." "I didn't kill your father, but you could..." "You don't want a cop-kill on your head!" "...and what if they won't pull over, T.C.?" "I'm not gonna take on a limo in this car." " No problem." " I'm sorry!" " What are you gonna do?" " Honk the horn." "Pull over!" "Police!" "Police, in a Ferrari?" "Freeze!" "Don't move a muscle, or I'll put a bullet through it." "Special Investigator Finaday, you're under arrest." "What's the charge, Officer?" "Speeding, reckless driving, endangering another vehicle... and impersonating an officer." " How do you think it's going?" " Couldn't be better, you two are terrific." "Soon as they come through the door, we're gonna nail them." "Freeze!" "Shit." "I missed my game, again." "Fucking loser." "Now Reese'll have to lead the guys to victory." " Who's Reese?" " Kenneth Reese!" "He was my back-up quarterback at the academy... and he's been waiting for a chance like this since 1963." "Now he's got it because of you." "...more than 12 hours." "Ted?" "Amy, in Pennsylvania tonight, two men were shot and killed... in what was described as a brazen but successful armored-car robbery." "Three accomplices escaped with $800,000... while one of the dead men, Dennis Lynch of Freehold, New Jersey... was said by police to have ties to organized crime families... both in that city and in New York." "The street where the robbery took place... was littered with bills of denominations from..." " You smell gas down here?" " It's always like that." "You had the pipes checked?" "I thought I heard something." "Is he up?" "I need to talk to him." "I brought him a steak." "You can put it with eggs." "Actually, your wife's here." "She's making him something to eat." "Karen." "Did something happen?" "We got some bad news last night." "Are you just gonna stand there?" "The Feds had an undercover agent in Dr. Schreck's office." "Uncle Jun'." " Hey, Karen." " Fucking Grand Central Station?" "Junior, my kids?" "You're right." "Sorry, dear." "I brought my bar of soap." "What time they call you?" "We had a little scare." "Thought it was the shunt in his heart." "He passed some gas, and he seems better." "Why don't you go on Joe Franklin, tell the whole tri-state area?" "Dad." "Not now." "I heard what happened." "It's bad, but it's not worth getting yourself sick over." " I told you, just sit down." " He doesn't have cable." "Actually, we're gonna go." "Okay, Jun', you got everything?" "Thank you, dear, you've been wonderful." "Bye, Karen." "I'll see you." "See you, kids." " Goodbye, Karen." " Be good." "Must've been that piece of tail." "Now, look, she..." "She probably reported the meetings... who was there, all that shit." "As far as conversations, what could she hear?" "You'd better hope nothing... because you were involved in every fucking one." "How could you fall for that flirty shit?" "That's the point!" "Get the hell outta here." "I wanna talk to my uncle." "Forget about that for a minute." "That shit about your legal expenses." "I been thinking, and okay." "Maybe I can give you some relief." "What?" "You got that empty garage over on Frelinghuysen Avenue." "You been trying to sell it." "I'll take it off your hands." " What are you gonna do with it?" " I don't know, I'm trying to help you out." "How much?" "$100,000." "Who gives a fuck anyway?" " Come on." " I was led around by the nose, Anthony." "You're right." "A young cooze smiled at me, and birds started chirping." "Time was, my instincts would've never failed me like that." "So, what are you now, the Amazing Kreskin?" "What did I tell her?" "Did I say anything could be used against me?" "I don't know." "Bullshitting, singing." "Atlantic City, Jesus Christ." "I'll be sitting right across from her in the courtroom." "All right, come on." "Have something to eat." "I'm an old man, Anthony." "An old man that's going to trial." "Not much else to say about me." "I'm a little depressed." "You were on vacation." "Can you describe the feelings?" "Things are good." "Especially with Carmela." "But then she starts ragging on me about the future." "How she's worried." "And what's gonna happen to them if I'm dead." "And "buy bonds" and all this shit." "A lot of people are feeling vulnerable." "On the other hand, she's right." " Not that I'd ever tell her that." " Why not?" "'Cause then she'd wanna know where's the money, how much." "Don't you want Carmela to be taken care of?" "She is." "Anyway, she's right, that's the point." "Over the last few years, I've been doing a lot of thinking." "And?" "My uncle definitely snapped it into focus." "What's he, 72 years old?" "What's he got?" "Fucking shitty house in Belleville, and a bunch of legal bills... that'd make you gargle Drano if you had them." "I've analyzed it." "There's two endings for a guy like me." "High-profile guy." "Dead, or in the can." " Big percent of the time." " You've never talked this frankly." "Even with all this terrorism shit, the government has resources up the ass." " As far as legal bills are..." " Anthony!" " What?" " Why don't you give it up?" "You didn't let me finish." "There's a third way to wrap it up." "You rely only on family." "Not many men could survive without the love and support... of their wife and children." "No, I'm talking about business." "You trust only blood." "A friend of mine... guy whose name you wouldn't know... stayed out of the can and in charge." "Lived in Florida till he was 81 years old." "He only gave orders through his son." "No other conversations that could come back in testimony." " His son?" " No, not A.J." "What I've been dealt is my nephew." "He's gotten his act together, the kid." "Over the last few months..." "I started the process of bonding him to me inseparably." "How?" "That we can't get into." "Didn't your uncle do that with you?" "You said his life is like a desert." "I'm 42, and I'm already more successful than my uncle ever was." "You've seen my house." "Anthony, why are you telling me this?" "I don't know." "Guess I trust you." "A little." "Hi, Mom." "What the hell are you doing here?" "You scared me to death." "Just stopped by to see how you're getting along." "You ever do anything like a normal person?" "There is a bell." "How you been?" "Fine." "How's Connie's kid?" "He's huge." "Jesus!" "That's Jason?" "He has a weight problem already." "Eight years old." "She never had him baptized." "She thought she knew everything." "Actually, I was hoping you would make me one of your fluffernutters." "It's fucking mouthwash." "Leave me the fuck alone." "You come over here with that shit." "What's that on the table, Daddy's navy picture?" "You ever miss him?" "When he was in prison... or since he's been dead?" "I don't know." "Did I saddle you with a stepfather?" "I don't have any peanut butter." "I haven't kept it since you left." "I can't make you a fluffernutter." "You want French toast?" "I gotta go." " Ade sends her love." " Right, say hello." "You watch that Bailey's, or I'll give you a shot in the head." " Look who's talking." " What?" "Never mind what." "Who's a big boy?" "Lilac Personal Shopping." "Hey, you." "My cousin came through on those day-spa certificates." "Excellent." "How's outside Daffy's, at 11:00?" "Perfect." "You want some lunch?" "I was just gonna sit down to a tuna san." " Onions, in the morning?" " Actually, it's 2:00." "I'm going out by the pool." "What, Mom?" "You were gonna get up at 8:30 to be at TCBY Yogurt... when the manager got there." "It's, like, five days till school starts." "Why get a job now?" "I don't know." "A few textbooks you could buy." "Pairs of socks." "Anything that we don't have to supply." "This thing about working between now and start of classes... is about you being pissed 'cause I didn't intern at the Paper Mill Playhouse." "We bought you a car so you could drive back and forth to your internship." "You don't feel bad that you didn't live up to the deal?" "Jesus, we've been through this how many times?" "There was no stagecraft in what they had me doing at the Playhouse." "Xeroxing does not count towards a drama minor internship." "Did you call the drama department, check that out?" "I didn't, so can we shitcan the courtroom theatrics?" "Watch your mouth." "Like I haven't been through enough this year." "12 credits, 2 semesters in a row, and I'm not entitled to a summer?" "You hardly..." "Hello?" "Are you kidding?" "Listen, can I call you back?" "You hardly broke a C, Meadow, your entire second semester." "Maybe you forgot my ex-boyfriend died?" "Your grades were going down while you were still going out with Jackie." "Great." "Jesus, did you ever lose a friend at my age?" "Did you ever have to grieve when you were 19?" "Honey, you should've been working this summer... to feel good about yourself... get your mind off Jackie, instead of laying out by that pool." "I read, Mom, out by that pool." "Probably half the canon." ""The canon." Okay, what is that, now?" ""Now"?" "The great books?" "Western literature?" "Dead white males?" "Who even in their reductionism... have quite interesting things to say about death and loss." "Maybe more interesting than what you have to say." "Is Mary Higgins Clark a part of that group?" "'Cause that's what I saw you reading every time I passed by the pool." "Hello?" "You're not surprised, are you?" "Come on, he's so totally duplicitous." "He had the nerve to come to the pub-crawl?" "Can I call you back?" "Are we done talking?" "Did you go on-line and register for your classes?" " I will." " Just go." "There's some guy in your driveway with a ponytail." "What is his story?" " Hi, Mrs. Sop'." " Hello, Misty." "Fur', hi." "He'll be down in a second." "He's just changing." "He was working outside this morning." " Do you want some coffee?" " Sure." "I'm gonna buy a house, you know?" " I didn't." "Where?" " Nutley." "So you're gonna stay?" "You gonna become a citizen, too?" "You don't need that." " How's it going, Ton'?" " Here at Peaceful Acres?" "Just swell." "I don't got time for coffee." "Drop me off at the mechanic's, so I can pick up my car." "Then I got an appointment, and I'll drive myself, all right?" "Later." " Say goodbye to Mead' for me." " Why don't you say goodbye yourself?" "I'll tell you what a gold mine is, those Harry Potter books." "That's 'cause it gives the other kids, the 98-pound weaklings, some hope." "Speaking of 98 pounds..." "I hear Ginny Sack's getting a 95-pound mole taken off her ass." "That's some guy's wife, come on!" "All right, gentlemen, I got to go." " Talk to Patsy." " Happy birthday." " All right." " So long." " See you, guys." " See you, Ton'." "Happy birthday, Al." "I understand we got some business to discuss." "The floor is yours." "Go on, tell him." "I drove out to Youngstown to see Uncle Paulie... and he was, I don't know... hoping you could settle this shit with Ralph... and the no-show carpenter jobs." "Ralph." "Okay, for the record, I had my guy go over the books." "We can do maybe two carpenter jobs, one no-show, one no-work." "Two jobs." "On a $300 million project?" "Come on." "What's the real number?" "What?" "Am I speaking in tongues, here?" "Two." "Maybe I can do three." " My uncle's looking for at least 10." " I'm talking, here." "The guy's in the can." "You think you want to keep him happy, maybe?" "All right." "Here it is." "And this comes from..." "For the duration, you will give Paulie five carpenter jobs... two no-shows and three no-works." "One of the no-shows, our friend in Youngstown keeps... and one, he gives to Chrissy here." "The others, the no-work jobs, that's for Paulie... how he wants to distribute them." "It is so decreed." " Now, if there isn't anything else?" " There is something else." "With Paulie in the can, there's a new acting capo of his crew." "It's Chrissy." "That's the way certain people want it... and we trust there will be no ill will." "This is fucking great!" "I mean, I know I'm just the acting, but still..." "It's a big responsibility." "I got it covered." "First thing I'm doing is getting wings in my hair." "You know, like Paulie." "I'll talk to you later." "See these crystal paperweights?" "Last year, I bought the Christmas gifts... for the entire Jets front office." "Over 600 of these, shaped like footballs." " You ever get tickets?" " Lost the account." "To better times." "That's so adorable, with the animals shaped like letters." " I know." "If I ever have a baby..." " Yeah." " What?" " Nothing." "Christopher talks about having kids, once in a while." "I don't know." " Where is our angry young man?" " Out with his friends, I guess." "I used to date this one guy, Vinnie." "He was more like a fuck buddy, but he lived on Staten Island." "I swear, we'd be in the middle of doing it, and if his goddamn beeper went off... then he'd just leave." "I think he was, like, connected, or something." "He used to carry a gun." "It was probably just to protect himself." "I mean Christopher does, too, sometimes." " When you're in a cash business..." " Stocks is a cash business?" "Can I tell you something?" "Sure." "I don't think I can have kids." "What?" "Why?" "I can't believe I'm telling you this." "It's just that I feel really close to you." "A long time ago, before Christopher even..." "I had an abortion." "I didn't want to." "I know it was wrong... but the guy was such an asshole, it was really the best thing." "Anyway, there were complications." "My gynecologist says that there's a good chance..." "I won't be able to hold a pregnancy." "Oh, God, I can't believe I'm telling you this." "Christopher don't even know." "My own mother even." "Sometimes it helps to talk." "They can do incredible things these days, Ade." "When the time comes..." "I know a great ob-gyn that my sister went to in the city." "Really?" "You just show up without calling?" "I thought you were going out." "I'm a man of many mysteries." "Danielle, this is Christopher's friend, Paulie Germani." "Hey, how you doing?" "You put this in the back of your freezer, it'll take out any odors." "Go on, buy her a drink somewheres." "I got to talk to my fiancée." " Some manners?" " I'll call you tomorrow." "So what?" "You from around here?" "Something's wrong with that broad." " Something's wrong with you." " Oh, yeah?" "Here's what's wrong with me." "Holy shit!" "Oh, my God." " These diamonds..." " Harry Winston, baby." "It's got more carats than Bugs Bunny." "I had a great conversation with Silvio today." "What?" "Tell me." "Let's just say that Carmela ain't gonna be First Lady forever." "Political disagreement is often a catalyst... leading to violence in a world gone mad." "Burning rage in Korea spilled onto the street with deadly results." "Check it out." "Guy in the red jacket?" "In 10 seconds, that cop's a fucking fireball." "I don't think I want to see this." "Janice!" "Fuck, it's my brother." "I'm coming." "What are you doing here?" "I was nearby, at Bacala's." "Figured I'd come by, say hello." "Good." " How's he doing?" " He's fat." "Faces of Death?" "What?" "Was The Sound of Music already rented?" "It's research for our Christian rock video..." "I'm coordinating with the record release." "That Tommy Mottola, he's one slow motherfucker." " What's it been, about a year?" " Actually, we are not going with Sony." "We're considering a smaller, independent label." "Naturally." "Got any coffee?" "I may only have soymilk." "What?" "What do you care?" " It's none of your business, anyhow." " Ralph Cifaretto?" "It's always fucking something with you." "Why don't you stay out of other people's living rooms?" "Jesus Christ." "You look good." "Better than last time." "Ralph came through with those jobs." " What did Tony say?" " It was Tony made him do it." "I wished Albert "happy birthday" for you." "Who's been to see my ma?" "I don't think anybody, Paulie." "Chrissy says Tony sent her some chocolates." "Chrissy said T made a killing in real estate, down Frelinghuysen." "That assemblyman guy hyped him to it." "Ralph told this funny fucking joke, though... at Albert's party." "He goes:" ""Ginny Sack had a 95-pound mole..." ""surgically taken off her ass."" " He said that?" " Yeah." "And you think it's funny?" "It's in bad taste?" "The fuck?" "That's not what I want." "I want 50 T's, 50 reverse, got that?" "Guys." "Pick up those ice-cream wrappers." "If I were a carpenter and you were a douche bag" "What are you doing?" "Breaking my balls, what's it look like?" "I tell you, this no-show shit is tough." "Deciding what not to wear to work, what not to put in my lunchbox..." "You're breaking my heart." "You should try sitting here 10:30 to 3:00." "You got Carson Avenue?" "You know that girl the other night?" "Danielle?" "She's a piece of ass, but fucking rude." "It's all here?" "You remember to put the spores in there?" "That's not funny." "What the fuck's all that?" "Fiber-optic cable." "High-speed Internet access." "Lot of money in this shit." "The kid was supposed to get a job this summer, an internship." "Then it wasn't right for what she was studying." "Okay." "That's one down." "Then she was gonna be a hostess at Artie Bucco's restaurant." "I got her that." "Then she couldn't work Tuesdays and Thursdays... 'cause of her baby-sitting commitment, and Artie didn't try to understand... so she left." "Then the baby-sitting family disappeared to Nantucket." "Then something else fell through, and then..." "So, she's regressing." "She keeps it up, she'll be back in the womb." "Over the course of a child's life... there's a constant moving away and coming back." "Security versus freedom." "But what I find interesting, and that's if I hear you right... is that at the age of 19... she actually wants to stay close to home." "See, that's what I was gonna say." " She did have someone close die." " Jackie." "But she brings that up whenever you ask her to clean up after herself, or whatever." "That she's traumatized." "He was shot to death." "It's tragic, that kid." "It was some kind of drug deal, you said." "Exactly, all the earmarks." "It's gotta be tough." "Then again, they'd been broken up, and he wasn't very nice to her." "It may be a manipulation, in part." "She's got a hard-on about Columbia." ""It's so competitive."" "But it doesn't mean that her pain over Jackie's death isn't real." "Has she said to you or Carmela she's depressed?" "Come on with that shit." "She's gonna be all right." "Maybe she should be on medication." "And her anger is focused on Carmela, not on you?" "I catch some shit." "But me and Mead' were always close." "Even in that 15-year-old period, you know?" "When she could hardly stomach Carmela?" "You are the dad." "The template for all future lovers." "She loves me." "I know that." "Since she was a tiny baby." "Might be helpful if she saw someone." "Dr. Wendi Kobler." "She's an adolescent psychologist and an educational consultant." "What do you mean?" "Talk about private family stuff, like I do here, with you?" "Yes." "Like you said, she's going back to school... she's gonna be with her college pals, back to the grindstone." "That's all good shit." "I thought you had final registration today." "Technically, drop-and-add goes on for the next three weeks." "Still, shouldn't you register for the classes you know you want... so you don't lose them?" "Look..." " I decided to take a year off." " You what?" "And do what, loaf around the house?" "Actually, I'm going to Europe with Misty." "What are you talking about?" "Look, Mom, I'm just not ready." "If I go back now, I'll have to start meeting with advisors... who'll at least want me to temporarily declare a major... or independent course of study." "I'll have that to deal with." "And obviously you don't want me around here." "That is not what I said at all." "You think I don't want you here?" "She knows what I fucking make." "Who am I?" "Bill Gates?" "I already support the kids." "You're a bartender." "You're supposed to be listening to my problems." "Sorry I'm late." " What's up?" " You tell me." "Got a call from Jack Massarone." "Massarone Construction?" "A very angry call." "The M80 in the porta-pot." "I told Benny..." "Don't fuck with me on this." " The fiber-optic shit." " You knew it would be boosted?" "No." "Yeah." "I mean, Patsy mentioned something..." "Jesus Christ, if I wanted Patsy in charge..." "Use your fucking head, Christopher." "I'm sorry, T, I thought I was." "By drawing heat to a $250 million job?" "Think." "The big fucking picture." "Aren't they insured?" "She's nice, Janice, you know?" " Not my usual type, but..." " Her hair, it's pretty." "Pre-Raphaelite, they call it." "With the curls." "Nothing but net, motherfucker." "She does have an earthy quality, you got to give her that." "It's those big tits." "No disrespect." "And, of course, there's the issue of her family." "Making her happy wouldn't be the worst thing in the world for my career." "Game." "Where you going?" "Come on." "I'm tired." "Come on." "One more." "Come on, a little fucking defense." "Hook shot." "Thank God." "Where is the number of the therapist Melfi gave you?" "Why?" "What happened?" "She's going to Europe, your daughter." "She's dropping out of school, going all over the place on a Eurail Pass." " What is she, fucking kidding?" " Apparently not." "Her passport from our Christmas in the Bahamas is still valid." " Where is she?" " I don't know." "Down the shore." "I suppose all these parties she goes to... they're all memorials for Jackie Junior, right?" "Please, with the yelling." " You still on-line?" " As a matter of fact, I am!" "What the fuck's in Europe?" "Experience." "Real life." "Art." "I knew all this constant harping on art was gonna cause trouble." "Gonna work in publicity or something." "Some friend of Misty's is making a movie in Denmark." "I think we should call that therapist." "She's going back to school." "They got counselors there." "Better ones, lvy League ones." "No fucking way she's going to Europe." "Fine." "Maybe they don't have to talk." "Maybe they're the kind of couple that doesn't have to talk constantly." "One beer left?" "Danielle was over." "We had pizza." "I figured out what's wrong with that broad, and it's some bad shit." "What's the matter, baby?" "Tony again?" "I owe this guy a lot, but he's a fucking jerk sometimes." "Like he never heard of a learning curve." "You know what?" "I'm gonna get high." "I thought you were gonna stop using junk 'cause of your new job." "I am." "This is my goodbye party with heroin." "You want to do a hit?" "I don't know." "I did some blow at the club." "It's funny with Tony." "It's like Danielle was saying, how we send food to the poorer countries." "No good deed goes unpunished." "What is it with you and this girl?" " What?" "I can't have friends?" " You're amazing, you know that?" "With all your intelligence, you never see the big picture." " You met her where?" " At the mall." "So?" "Think, Adriana." "Girl like that." "Ass like that." "She don't have a boyfriend, she don't like Paulie." " Like he's Jude Law." " Whatever." "Are you that fucking blind?" "She's a dyke." "You think?" "Use your head." "It's a $250 million job." " My head?" "It was your idea." " Excuse me?" "When the kid there, Vito, told you how expensive the shit was..." "I don't know, you gave me a look." "A look?" "So now you're a fucking mind reader?" "It won't happen again." "Stop now, it'll be that much harder to get back on track." "Your mother's right." "Just out of curiosity, what are you planning on using for money?" "Cheap Tickets is running a sale." "I can cash in the bonds Nana gave me, and most likely I'll be working." "Some student film." "It's not a student film." "It's a feature on DVCAM." "Alvar hangs out with Dogme." "He got honorable mention... at the Winnipeg Film Festival last year, for his short." "Forget money." "What about security?" "You think traipsing around Europe's a smart move these days?" "Like Europe's any less safe than here?" "Look, you don't seem to get it." "I keep having images of Jackie Aprile lying in a pool of his own blood... in some street somewhere." "So what?" "French discos drive away all sad thoughts?" "What, Mom, you've never heard of the restorative nature of travel?" "Read Henry James." "Why does every college have junior year abroad if there isn't a need for it?" "Then why don't you wait for junior year?" "It's eight months." "'Cause I need it now." "You want to go to Europe?" "Go." "Clear your head." "Run with the bulls." "Do whatever it is the hell they do over there." "Thank you." "I will." "Don't you think she should talk to someone first?" "A counselor, maybe?" "Maybe the college of hard knocks is what she needs." "Let's see how she likes it when a gypsy lifts her wallet." "Or learn you can't work without a permit... which the French hang on to like their balls." "Thank you for that united front." "The more we object, the more she'll want to go." "You know her." "She's going." "I don't understand you, with this flip-flop." "She'll meet other boys." "Maybe an Italian boy, an actual Italian one." "Jackie'll stop playing a big part..." " You would want her married to a foreigner?" " Married, no!" "Jesus!" "Although, look at Furio." "What's so bad about him?" "You do what you want... but I am not gonna stand idle while she throws her education away." "What are you gonna do?" "She's not gonna take this drastic step without talking to someone first." "Come on." "Dr. Melfi's person is an educational consultant." "Maybe she can explain to her how dropping out now... is not going to look at all good to medical schools." "We could use an ally here... some adult, besides us, to toe the line for accountability and responsibility." "So maybe you go on an anti-depressant to tide you over." "You're not paying for it." "I don't know." "Maybe." "Anyway, it was supposed to be his funeral." "Jack's?" "And they all stood around... drinking and blubbering... at these egregious, saccharine, fucking Italian ballads." "It was revolting." "After I left the restaurant, I actually vomited." " You were drinking." " Smoked a joint with my friends, too." "That's okay." "As long as you didn't deliberately purge." "When I asked you earlier what Dad does for a living... you said:" ""Waste management, wink, wink." What does "wink, wink" mean?" "Okay." "He's like..." "You know?" "You mentioned Jack's father was in the mafia." "I didn't realize your dad was, too." "There's no such thing as the mafia." "I said Jackie's dad was a loan shark." "How did Dad react when he heard Jack had been killed?" "He was pretty upset." "He used to tell Jackie all the time, "Don't get involved." "Stay in school."" ""Get involved"?" "With what?" "Drugs." "Right." "The "X"?" "So, Dad was a positive force in Jack's life." "Jackie." "Yeah." "You don't like talking much about Dad, do you?" "He doesn't bother me." "I'm gonna ask you a question about Dad." "This may be very painful for you." "Did Dad ever molest you?" " No." " I don't tell them what we discuss." "I don't think so." " What about Mom?" " God, no!" "Unless you consider obsessing about my fucking GPA an assault, which I do." "She has to learn that education is a lifelong process." "That's what I told them." "A college degree is a nice thing, sure, but not at the sake of emotional well-being." "That's exactly what I said." "Perhaps they should examine their own needs to have you stay in school." "Blow off their self-esteem issues." "So, you book on Columbia, you can come back when you're ready." "Or I could write you a letter to the University of Barcelona." "It's a hot school." "I'm on a consultancy there." " Busy out there?" " Bachelor party." "Some asshole just slipped on a lime wedge." "I was talking to Patsy." "Sounds like Chrissy's got a little Napoleon thing going on." "Yeah?" " Good." " Right." "Of course." "Nobody's denying his leadership abilities." "So, what's the problem?" "It's just..." "I don't know." "Patsy feels bad, maybe he was passed over." "What the fuck do you care?" "Last year, you were pushing me to take him out." "I'm just saying, with the change of rank and all... maybe he feels... marginalized." "Marginalized?" "What the fuck does that even mean?" "I like your pants." "Leather?" "Yeah." "I got them at Bebe." "Fucking packed tonight!" "Let's celebrate." "No, thanks." "I'm gonna stick with the champagne." "It's primo shit, Danny." "We got an awesome connection." "It's okay." "So, I was thinking, right?" "What we do is start our own group." "I'll be the singer, and you two can back me up." " Please." " Right." "What?" "It's so hard to rap?" "My bitch, my ho, my ho My bitch, my bitch, bitch" " What?" "It's a joke?" " Stop!" " You don't wanna back me up?" " Stop!" "God." " That's gorgeous." " Isn't it?" " Christopher gave it to me." " You like it, baby?" " What are you doing?" " What?" "I'm gonna go." "What?" "Hang out." "What's the matter?" "I'll call you tomorrow." "You piece of fucking shit!" " What the fuck?" " I saw what you did." "What'd you think?" "You were gonna fuck the two of us?" "You and those fucking videos!" "She came onto me!" "She took my hand, she was rubbing it on herself." " Bullshit!" " How about right before you came over?" "She was telling me where she buys her pants." "Her fucking underwear and shit." "Fucking Bebe's, like I give a fuck." " I thought you said she was gay." " Who knows what her problem is?" "Broad like her will fuck a snake." "Use your head." "What do I want with that skank, when I got you?" "You were saying she had a nice ass." "I was trying to say something positive, 'cause she's your friend." "Come here." "What have I been telling you about this pucchiachia?" "She's trying to fuck us up, Adriana." "And what we have is stronger than any of that shit." "I'm sorry." "Son of a fucking bitch." "What happened to the Krazy Glue?" "Somebody left the top off." "Dried out." " What'd you want?" " Nothing, really." "You should see the floor tiles, though... that got delivered to the job site." " Mexican travertine." " Johnny Sposato will take that shit." "No more dipping at the job, according to fucking Alfalfa." "But the order comes down from Tony." " Go ahead." " What?" "Knock off the tile?" " Tony says no." " I got your back." "Tony will be fine with it." "The rotor on the washing machine broke." "Carm said I could use yours." "Clean out the filter this time." "Disgusting." "So, how's your love life?" "Why don't you mind your goddamn business?" "It feels like it is my business... considering I had to haul your last boyfriend out of your kitchen in a Hefty bag." "You're a miserable fuck, you know that?" " You're just like Ma." " Oh, yeah?" "Really." "With your condescension and your sabotage." "For your information, Ralph is a great guy." "Trust me, I got more information than I need about him." "It's always something." "Are you threatened by the fact that he has a sense of style?" " A sense of style?" " Ralph Lauren, Collegiate?" "Let me ask you a question." "Do I know this guy better than you?" "'Cause I'm telling you he's no fucking good." "My happiness really drives you crazy, doesn't it?" "This reorganization of the Bureau could be good for both of us." " Lilac Personal Shopping." " Five fucking messages, Danielle?" "Can't you take a hint?" "Stop fucking calling here." " Sweetie, don't be like that." " "Sweetie," bullshit." " You're lucky I don't rip your ass." " I thought we were friends." "Did you take his hand off your leg?" "Did you?" " I tried." " Bullshit!" "Don't ever fucking call me anymore." "Four fucking months of work." "Maybe if we let her cool off." "She thinks I tried to seduce her fiancé, Dwight." " Little shitbag that he is." " What now?" "Do we set someone else up?" "And waste another five months getting in close?" "Her guard will be up anyway." "I think we should consider the undercover-op a dead issue." "Let's just bring her in, straight up." "Still, in all, good work, Ciccerone." "Right." "Thanks." "You know what the problem is, right?" "She gave Moltisanti a hard-on." "So, what do we do?" "Hire only schifosas?" "You know, I had a dream about her the other night." "This boring cocksucker." "Jehovah's Witnesses are more interesting." "Jack!" "How's your balls?" "What are you doing here?" "I got a foursome with some city engineers." " You got a sec?" " Sure." "Artie Bucco, Jack Massarone." "Sure, you been in my restaurant." " Problem with the stracciatelle, right?" " Yeah." "Come on." "It's all right." "Listen, I don't mean to be a pest, but some of your guys..." " I told you I'd take care of that." " This is not the fiber-optics." "I'm talking about the floor tiles." " What floor tiles?" " Last night, somebody hijacked a trailer." "The truck crushed a shed on its way out, too." "My mother's expecting us." "Look what the cat dragged in." "Fucking greedy cocksucker!" "You had to come back for more?" "Fucking floor tiles, now!" " You little fucking prick!" " Come on." " Relax, fellas!" " Mind your own fucking business." "What'd I say?" "I distinctly told you to lay off this fucking job!" "Talk to Silvio!" "He gave the order, you stupid fuck!" "What'd you call me?" "That's right." "Little fucking tough guy?" "You bastard." "You work for me, not fucking Silvio." "I told you to knock it off." " I'm calling the police." " Don't think I forgot... about you going through my fiancée's underwear drawer." " That wasn't me, you fucking jerk." " We'll see." "Who the fuck are you?" "Ralph Bunche, over here?" "You motherfucker!" "Oh, my God." " Let me go!" " Let's just get outta here." "Get him to the fucking hospital." "Make sure he keeps his mouth shut." "Keep your fucking mouth shut!" "Keep your fucking mouth shut!" "Right, he's the one." "I never said they shouldn't get engaged." "Mom?" "Can I have a tuna san?" " Hang up that phone, please." " Excuse me?" "Can I call you back?" " Did you go to see Dr. Kobler?" " Yeah." "What did you talk about?" "She said I don't have to tell you or Dad." "It's confidential." "This is what we pay $200 for?" "It was your idea." "I only saw her out of a gesture of goodwill." "I don't know what you're so upset about." "It's my right to go to Europe." "That's what she said." "I don't care what she said." "She's totally irresponsible." "What?" "The therapist told her it is her right to go to Europe." "She actually thinks this is a good idea?" "She said it's no big deal." "I can pick up my education wherever, whenever." "Really?" "Wendi said she can get me into school in Barcelona if I decide to stay." " Who's Wendi?" " Dr. Wendi Kobler." "Barcelona." "I could take Melfi's head and crush it like a fucking walnut." "I feel battered." "I've gotta get to the salon." "Did you tell Wendi that you didn't work all summer?" "Wait, you're right." "I forgot to mention the pivotal role of the work ethic in this family." " You can lose that smart mouth right now." " Or what?" "What is this, Afghanistan?" "I'm over 18 now, I'm a grown woman." "I can go where I want and do what I want." "All right, Jesus, God, we know that!" "Is that your only point here?" "Because just getting what you want is for babies, not adults." "It may interest you to know she thinks I should probably be on Prozac." " She does?" " She said that?" "Jackie was murdered." "I know you think... it's nothing screaming my head off at the Columbia-Army game wouldn't cure." " That is so unfair." " All right, look." "I've been thinking about this." "Now, you're a smart girl." "The right move for you is to wait." "Just till next year, maybe." "You know what I don't understand, Dad?" " You were all in favor of me going." " Your mother doesn't want it." "Wow." "Listen to Mr. Mob Boss." "What did you call me?" "All this fucking pussyfooting around." "Years now?" " Why don't we just get it all out there?" " Shut up." "You got something you wanna say to me?" " What do you mean?" " What do I mean?" "What do you mean?" "All these innuendoes." "You inferring I didn't do everything I could... to keep that kid from fucking himself up?" "That, knowing him and his family... that I didn't try to be a better dad to him than his own dad?" "God rest his soul." "That I didn't try to protect Jackie Junior?" "That I didn't smack him around, 'cause I was so frustrated?" "Is that what you're trying to tell me?" "I'm through telling people you help with environmental cleanup." "That's not what I asked you." "Like you could talk honestly for three fucking seconds." "You try me!" "I've made my plans, I'm going to Europe, and I'm getting the fuck out of here!" " You been told no!" " Watch me!" "Don't do it!" "I'm warning you, do not do it!" "Do it for Mommy." "That's a good girl." "Special agent Dwight Harris, FBI." "I believe you two have already met." "Holy fucking shit!" "Don't make a scene." "You don't want to attract attention." " You're in the fucking FBI?" " We need to talk, Ade." "It'll only take a half hour, and I assure you, it's in your best interest." "Come with us, please." " My dog." " It's okay." "Just take her with you." "Am I under arrest?" "Not at this time, but that can all change momentarily." "That's a search warrant." "Your office, your club, your cocaine." " It's not my cocaine." " Really?" " That's not what I have you saying on tape." " You were taping me?" "If I were you, I'd put aside my hurt feelings for a while." "I told you shit in confidence that had nothing to do with any of this shit!" "Things that I never told no one." "We're offering you a way out." "A chance to save your life and Christopher's life." "You don't give a fuck about us!" "You and your fucking ob-gyn doctor." "You wanted me and Christopher... to stay together long enough so you could find shit out." "We understand your fiancé is moving up in the world... or down, as the case may be." "Problems at the Esplanade construction site?" "Oh, my God." "We're not asking you to wear a wire." "We're not asking you to testify." "We just want information." "Is your name even Danielle?" "What if I say no?" "If you say no, you'll be placed under arrest... and charged with possession and intent to distribute cocaine... a charge that carries with it a penalty of up to 25 years in prison." "Oh, my God." "After you make bail, you can explain to Tony Soprano... why you brought an undercover federal agent into his home during Sunday dinner." " My God." " We'll probably never hear about it though." "Chances are you and Christopher will just disappear." "Get the wastebasket." "Come on." "I left three messages." "Are you okay?" "You look like shit." "I didn't sleep too good." "It's Meadow." "I don't know." "We think maybe she ran off to Europe." "Europe?" " So, you got a minute?" " Who's that?" "Nobody, go back to sleep." "How you doing, hon?" "This floor tile shit... misunderstanding." "It's a huge job." "A lot of money at stake." "You of all people should know that." "What?" "Are you mad at me now?" "You're getting to be a very strange man in your old age, you know that?" "What?" "I'm just asking." "Is it a hanging offense, or not?" "Did you deliberately disobey me?" "Of course not." "'Cause Patsy says you gave the okay." "This is after Chrissy talked to him." "Timeline got fucked up." " We go back a long way." " Indeed we do." "If in any way you feel like..." "Chrissy usurped you or anything like that, and you're trying to read me..." " That's not how it is." " Fine." "Whole thing, misunderstanding." "Truckload of floor tiles." "You should be looking at what, $30,000?" "Should be about $2,000 there." "I'll have the rest for you later." "I know you will." "What?" "You catch some shrapnel?" ""Intro to Social Theory" is..." "Sorry, it's closed out." "You're cutting it a little close for most of the popular classes." " What about this one?" " 09531?" "It's your lucky day." "I've been thinking, and if you want... we can talk to your cousin Brian about the estate planning." "Listen to him, now." "What?" "Do you feel guilty?" "You have nothing to feel guilty about." "It's me she blames." "What for?" "It happens." "Massachusetts!" "Listen to this shit." ""New Jersey Council of Indian Affairs has announced plans..." ""to disrupt Monday's Columbus Day Parade in Newark." ""Council Chairman, Del Redclay, Professor of Cultural Anthropology..."" "Stop blowing your nose, I want to hear this." ""...says council members and supporters will lie down..." ""in the path of Columbus Day marchers..." ""'in protest of Columbus' role in the genocide..." ""'of America's native peoples.'" ""To launch their protest, the Native Americans and their sympathizers..." ""plan to begin a deathwatch tomorrow..." ""over the statue of Columbus in Christopher Columbus Park."" "Some fucking balls, bad-mouthing America, especially now." "I thought that Columbus was the hero of America." "See, it's these Indians and the Commie fucks." "They wanna paint Columbus as a slave trader instead of an explorer." "You gotta admit, they did get massacred, the Indians." "We gave them a bunch a shit to make up for that." "Land, reservations." "And now they got the casinos." "What the fuck we ever get we didn't have to work for?" "I wouldn't mind sitting all day... smoking mushrooms and collecting government checks." "You know what it is?" "I'll tell you what it is." "It's anti-ltalian discrimination." "Columbus Day is a day of Italian pride." "It's our holiday, and they wanna take it away." "Fuck them." "But I never liked Columbus." "In Napoli, a lot of people are not so happy for Columbus..." " 'cause he was from Genova." " What's the problem with Genova?" "The North of Italy always have the money and the power." "They punish the South since hundreds of years." "Even today, they put up their nose at us, like we're peasants." "I hate the North." " Jesus, take it easy." " I'm gonna take action, here." "Ro, gonna go to the church luncheon tomorrow?" "It's on the subject of Italian-American women and pride." " I guess 'cause of Columbus Day." " Who's the star?" " A woman professor from Montclair State." " Father Phil says she's very good." " You should come, Adriana." " Me?" "Yeah, come with us." "Noon in the bingo room at Saint Peter and Paul's." "They have a series of ladies' luncheons every week." "The food is good, and the speakers have been fantastic." "Furio Giunta just bought himself a little house in Nutley." "He is so gorgeous." "I'm surprised nobody snapped him up yet." " I think he should lose the ponytail." " You do?" " I think it looks great on him." " That's his trademark." "Sandi Fortunato says it looks like a dick coming out of his head." "And she pretends to be his friend." "What a two-face." "How much money did you make today, slut?" " $300." " That's all, bitch?" "I'm gonna put you back on the street." "Make you work that ass." " Put me back on the street, baby, yeah." " Work that ass, you little cunt." "Yeah, you work it, baby." "Mama's little tramp." "Mama's little whore." "I'm gonna pimp you out, bitch." "I gotta get that." "Hello?" "No." "Hi, Ro, how are you?" "What?" "I can't hear you too good." "It must be your cell phone." "You in the car?" "No, I'm coming home." "Yeah." "No, chicken's great." "No." "Yeah." "Me, too." "Bye." "God, we're so naughty." " How can we do this with Ro on the phone?" " What?" "We're so wacky." "No regard for nothing." " Operator." " Yeah, I'd like to make a collect call." "Area code 917." "Speak." "Collect call from Mr. Walters." "Okay, I'll take it, operator." " How you doing?" " You know." "Thanks for the stamps." "How you getting on?" "I feel old." "Listen, John..." "I just want to say..." "I hope your feelings weren't hurt too bad, and that it never got back to the missus." " The fuck you talking about?" " You didn't hear the joke about Ginny?" "Never mind." "Let it die a death." "What joke?" "You're better off not hearing it." "Trust me." "Fuck that!" "I demand you tell me, Paulie!" "John, you got more laborers on that job site than we got carpenters." "What's the problem?" "The carpenters are carrying sheetrock and materials." " We ain't getting what we expected to get." " Minimally expected." "Let Massarone hire more laborers off the books." "Nobody's talking to you!" "All right, Jesus." "65:35." "Johnny, you explain the other thing I want to talk about." "Sure." "Tony, we've discovered you bought property... around Frelinghuysen Avenue and turned it in a week." "So?" "You did it with inside knowledge from Ron Zellman." "Got your attention from where?" "That property's hot because of the Esplanade." "We share the Esplanade." "We share Zellman." "If the Soprano family's gonna benefit from a thing, Carmine feels we should, too." "Okay, we'll work something out." "I've been your doctor for 30 years, you still hate the thermometer." "Tony, Furio's here!" "Thank you for bringing those strufoli." "I love those." "Here's a few long-term bonds that I find attractive." "Wouldn't it be great if the person you trust most was your broker?" "Let's look at your allocations." "At Schwab, we give advice that's not driven by commission." "Call 1-800-7-SCHWAB... to set up a consultation to check the health of your portfolio." "And lay off the junk bonds." " I got pictures of my new house." " Let me see." "Welcome back." "We're here today with our guests..." "Dr. Del Redclay, who's a professor of anthropology at Rutgers University... and spokesman for the anti-Columbus protest." "My God." "And also Mr. Phillip L. Di Notti..." "It's lovely." "...a coalition of Italian-American anti-defamation organizations." "Okay." " This thing gets on my nerves." " Don't get me started." "Well, let's start with the idea of a parade for a genocidal colonial general." "A national holiday, no less." " Such festivities are deeply offensive to us." " These are pretty broad charges." "All I know is Italian Americans are extremely proud of Christopher Columbus... admiral of the ocean seas, and a great Italian." "You know very well of the compromised position we put forth." "Now, if you people wanna make it an Italian pride parade... we have no problem with that." "Western history says Columbus discovered America." "The same America that put your people in bondage for three centuries." "But every culture has had to bear the pain... in the making of what I think we can all agree is a startling economic miracle." " We cured polio." " I have to agree with Phil." " The right to vote." " Exactly." "Take my grandparents." "Two simple people from Sicily..." " who braved the perilous middle passage..." " Middle passage?" "That's the term for the slave trade." "Montel, the Italian people in this country... also have suffered discrimination." "Earth to Phil." "We're talking 300 years of slavery, here." "Enough." "You okay, Tony?" "You look a little muscia-moosh." "Uncle Jun's trial starts today." " First Soprano family trial in 16 years." " We should go." "The guys are gonna be at the other place." "Thank you for the cookies." "And congratulations on that house." "And I like the kitchen." "Take a strufoli." "Be seated." "Next case on the calendar..." "United States of America versus Corrado John Soprano et al." "Any applications before I bring in the jury?" "No, your honor." " Bring the jury." " Telephone charges on your last bill?" "Cost me $40 every time you pick up the phone." "I can't..." "$2,380, last month alone." "I'm going to give you some preliminary instructions... and explain the process by which we will try this case." "The first order of business..." "Looking out at this audience of proud, strong, beautiful women... how far we have come in this American journey." "Look how we've both preserved the tradition of our ancestors... and managed to become new Italian-American women." "Such flair we have added to our image." "And yet, America still sees us... as pizza makers and Mama Leones." "It is your job, ladies, to spread the word." "Our grandmothers may have been dressed in black... but we're in Moschino and Armani." "For those who say Italian Americans... eat smelly cheese and sip cold wine... tell them we're from the land of aromatic Asiago... and supple Barolo." "If they say, "Spaghetti and meatballs"... you tell them, "Orecchiette with broccoli rabe."" "If they say, "John Gotti," you tell them, "Rudolph Giuliani."" "A Princeton study showed that 74 percent... of Americans associated Italian Americans... with organized crime." "Why would they do this?" "Because of the way the media depict us." "Again, it is our job to make sure people know... the other side of Italian-American culture." "The educated, wage-earning, law-abiding side." "Because isn't that who we truly are?" "Thank you." "Thank you, Professor Murphy... or should I call you Professor Longo-Murphy?" "Longo as you don't call me late for dinner." "Small point:" "Didn't I read about a more recent study at Fairleigh Dickinson... that found the opposite was true?" "That the great majority of Americans... recognize these are fictional portrayals?" "We're still looking at the sample selection criteria used in that study." "Well, thanks for an excellent talk." "And thank you all for attending today." "Don't miss Professor Murphy's new book:" "Strega." "The Sorceress as lmago Figure in Italian Literature." "And stick around for coffee and dessert, courtesy of Cocuzzo's pastry shop." "I'll say it, that was totally uncalled for." " Father Intintola's forgetting his friends." " It was outrageous." "I'm shocked." " Everyone's entitled to their opinion." " Really, though, how dare he?" " After all you've done for this parish." " What are you gonna do?" "I'm gonna cut him a new one." "Father, I don't know what to say, I'm so upset." " Why, what's wrong?" " What's wrong?" "Carmela is one of your biggest supporters and friends." "How dare you let her suffer humiliation and embarrassment..." " at the hands of an outsider?" " What do you mean?" "You know exactly what I mean." "Unfortunately, because of her husband's high profile in the waste industry... she's the one who bears the brunt of insults." "But there were many of us who were equally offended." "I am sorry." "This is an open forum." "You did hear me bring up that new study." "If that's your idea of a good luncheon speaker..." "I suggest you think about who really keeps... this parish alive year after year." "The size of your cities pain the eyes of the red man." "A man in your cities is numb to the stench..." "Go back to your reservation!" "Mussolini was Hitler's bitch!" "Go back!" "In the words of Chief Seattle." ""For the last Red Man shall have perished..." ""and the memory of my tribe..." ""shall have become a myth among the White Men..."" "Take your tom-toms and get out of here!" "You son of a bitch!" ""...these shores, these woods, the highway will swarm..." ""with the invisible dead of our people!" "The White Man will never be alone!"" "This is Newark, baby, we don't play that shit!" "And that better not be Columbus!" " Take it down." " He's going to burn..." " the way our ancestors did!" " Go sit down, cupcake!" " We're not taking anything down!" " We're gonna fucking hang you up there!" "Break it up!" "Let's break it up!" " We will make arrests!" " What the fuck is this, Joey?" "They got a permit, Sil." "Everybody, come on, let's go!" " Everybody!" " I'll remember this, Joey." "Come on." "Come on." "You, too." "Let me go." "All right, we gotta go." "Shit." "Down with globalization!" "What are you doing?" "This is a peaceful demonstration, here." "Everybody, get over here!" "Get him out of here." " Take the whole family." " Let's do it." "Orecchiette and broccoli rabe." "The truth is, that is Northern." "Armani, too." "And Michelangelo." "What a coward that man is." "He's always been a lily-liver." " He's sweet." " What did he say?" "He's all apologetic now." "I let him have it." "You did what you could." "I couldn't leave here without saying something." "I gotta go." "I'm getting my new crown today." "All right, bye." "Karen, bring Bobby and the kids over for a cookout on Saturday." " Hello?" " It's me, Dad." " What's up, Bobby?" " Mom tried to call you." "She wants you to pick up some steaks and eggplants before you come home." "She can't do it?" "I'm stuck in traffic, now I gotta go to the store?" "She had to go get some crowns or something." "Your mother's a real pain in the you-know-what sometimes." "When she gets home, tell her I said, "Thanks a lot."" " lf you can't find the recipe, I'll ask Angie." " It's around here somewhere." "Hello." "Hi, Gab." "What?" "When?" "Oh, my God!" "No!" "God, that's terrible." "Yeah, okay." "What happened?" "Karen had an accident on Pompton Avenue." "She's dead." "I get home for dinner last night, Gabby's sitting there devastated." "I just saw Karen at ShopRite last week." "You talking about Karen?" "Great kid." "This happened to this doctor I know." "Oriental ran right into him." "What's Bobby gonna do?" "He adored that woman." "What are you doing getting arrested when this family's on trial?" " I'm sorry..." " You went down there, too." " No." " It was my idea." "What the fuck?" "We got little Paulie in St. Barnabas." "Plus, we lost face there." "This is something that hits home." "I can't turn the other cheek on this." "I know, but we're running a business, here." "Don't you all got something to do?" "What's with you?" "I count on you to be the most level-headed guy I got." "My father was a Knight of Columbus." "I'm Italian American... and I pay money... to the Italian Anti-Defamation Coordination Council, and basta." " We're the victims here." " You write a check, too?" "Let's not forget." "It was a friend of ours, Joe Columbo... who founded the first Italian-American anti-defamation organization." " You were still out of line." " You're right." "A hundred percent." "But?" "Well... as your consigliere, since you ask..." "I think the guys, and myself, too, we need your leadership on this." "All right, good." "I understand you wanna do something, but use your brain." "Believe me, me and Ralphie are working on a few things." "This battle's gonna be won on the PR level." "Hearts and minds." "They manipulate your image, Columbus... you manipulate theirs." "All right." " Who's calling, please?" " Good morning, Assemblyman." "What's up?" "You know this protest with the Indians and Columbus Day?" "I heard about it." "We need somebody to make it go away." "Boy, that's a tough one." "Real hot potato." " Nobody wants to touch it." " We just want... a peaceful parade like always, with no interference." "What's wrong with that?" "It's the First Amendment, and it's Native Americans." "Very sensitive stuff." "My hands are tied on this one." "Sorry." " Yeah, fine." " I will be attending the parade as always." "You got my support there." "I wish that I could..." "The last time that you dated a friend and colleague... of your brother's, he left you flat... disappeared into the witness protection program." " I know." " Now, another man... who works with your brother... unable to meet your basic needs for love and respect... involved with another woman." "Which brings me back to my childhood." "And my mother and my father." "Now we're talking." "Where I had no love and no support." "And where I was shamed and ridiculed for being artistic." "In your relationship with these men... you have replaced your father with your brother... as a figure of authority that you need to prove something to." "You set up these scenarios with these men... similar to your father and your brother, seeking your brother... i.e., your father's acceptance." " The hell with them." " I know." "The work is to make new choices... that have nothing to do with old patterns." "I want to, Sandy, I do." "God give me the strength." "She will." "Your Star-Ledger interview conflicts with Eye on New Jersey." "Del Redclay, right?" "I knew it." "Yeah, I saw you on Channel 20." "Don't get up." "I'm Henry Caruso." "Pleased to meet you." " Now this lovely lady..." " Maggie Donner, I'm Del's TA." "Yes, I can see that." "Well, I might as well get to the point." "I represent a group of concerned citizens who are... very upset about this... protest you're spearheading, no puns intended." " Who do you represent?" " Italians." "Here in New Jersey." "Good people." "Family people." "And they've asked me to tell you that... it's not in your best interest to go through with this." "If you've come here to intimidate me..." " you don't know much about Indian resolve." " Should I call security?" " You remember this guy?" " Iron Eyes Cody, he was an actor." "Son of Paleface, Sitting Bull." "Your fucking poster boy." "Part Cherokee, part Cree." "He wasn't even a fucking Indian." "Second generation Sicilian from Louisiana named Espera DeCorti." " I think you better leave now." " The guy's a total fucking phony." "A total fugace." "Even Jay Silverheels knew it." "But he kept it quiet." "We're not gonna." "You keep up your bullshit, we're gonna go wide with this thing." "Knock yourself out." "Jesus Christ, is this true?" "This is a fucking disaster!" "Chill out." "You didn't know about this?" " It's been on Access Hollywood, E!" "..." " This is a major PR boner." "It's been researched." "Cody was definitely Native American." "Total environmentalist." " Are you sure about this?" " Look, I'm one-eighth Italian myself." "You are?" "You never told me that." "My great-great something or other was a pony soldier." "Well, actually he was a violinist attached to the Seventh Cavalry." "That is just one person's opinion, Anthony." "What, football again?" "He's not gonna get hurt, he's a tough kid." "Jesus." "We're having a discussion about Christopher Columbus." ""They would make fine servants." ""With 50 men, we could subgate them..."" "Subjugate." ""...and make them do whatever we want."" "That doesn't sound like a slave trader to you?" "George Washington had slaves, the father of our country." "Well, what's your point?" "His history teacher, Mr. Cushman, is teaching your son... that if Columbus was alive today, he'd go on trial for crimes against humanity... like Milosevic in, you know, Europe." "Your teacher said that?" "It's not just my teacher, it's the truth." "It's in my history book." "So you finally read a book and it's bullshit." "You had to walk in Columbus' shoes to see what he went through." "People thought the world was flat, for crying out loud." "Then he lands on an island with a bunch of naked savages on it." "That took a lot of guts." "You remember when we went to Florida, the heat, and those bugs?" "Like it took guts to murder people and put them in chains." " He was a victim of his time." " Who cares?" "It's what he did." "He discovered America, is what he did." "He was a brave Italian explorer." "And in this house, Christopher Columbus is a hero." "End of story." "I should've known." "I should've known you needed me." "I should've been with you." "I should've been in your place." "My love, my sweet love." "How he loved her." "You know what I heard one time?" "Sil was on the phone." "He was talking with somebody... about how Bobby was the only one of them who doesn't have a cumare." "They were laughing at him." " Who was he talking to on the phone?" " I don't know." "I'll go first this time." "I'll bring my eggplant parm over to Bobby's." "Actually, tomorrow is better for me." "Ginny, hi." "We were just talking about who's gonna do what when." "I played canasta with her just last week." "There he is." "John, look..." "I'm sorry I missed Allegra's nursing school graduation." "Unforgivable." "But I made it up to her." "Stick it in your ass." " Hey, Count Chocula..." " What the fuck, John?" "Keep him away from me." " John, what's going on?" " I don't wanna talk about it." "What's this?" "I have no fucking idea." "But I got better shit to do." "You saw how it was with them at dinner the other night?" "Something's going on." "Plus, out of nowhere, Carmine's up my ass on this Frelinghuysen Avenue bullshit." "Somebody's talking too much." "And it's costing me money." "Come on." "There's no release." "I'm surrounded by death." "My husband, my son, my friend." "I don't know what to tell you, Ro." "There's pieces torn out of me, chunks of me that are dead." "Look at me." "My youth, my looks, they're gone." "No." "That's from not taking care of yourself." " Dwelling on all this stuff." " It's not "stuff."" "Do you have any idea what it feels like?" "Do you?" "It's not "stuff." It's death, it's pain!" "I'm having a lot of trouble dealing with this." " I don't know." " You don't know what?" "I don't think I can do this." "I don't think I can help you." "You need a lot right now." "I don't think there's anything I can do." "You can be there for me, you could comfort me." "What about me?" " What do I get out of it?" " There it is." "Right there." "What do you get?" "How about your every need taken care of?" "Sexually, everything!" "All your shit." "It's all about you, isn't it?" "It's not all about me, but, I mean..." " let's be realistic." " "Let's be realistic"?" "What, you wanna leave me?" "Yeah." "Then get the fuck out." "It doesn't have to be like this." "How should it be?" "How the fuck should it be?" "Somehow Carmine found out we were flipping properties... on Frelinghuysen Avenue, so your take's a little less than we talked about." "He makes an issue out of Zellman?" " What's this one called, Hesh?" " This is Pie-O-My." "Just broke her maiden at Belmont last month." "A lot of speed." " I'm buying her." " Cool, man." "She's beautiful." "That's right." "Don't you know somebody over there at..." "Deerpark Casino in Connecticut?" "Run by the Mohonk tribe?" "Yeah, Marty." "My niece's husband." "This Columbus Day protest, we need somebody to make it go away." "What's wrong with freedom of speech?" "Listen to my kid talking about Columbus." "Calls him a murdering thief." " They wiped out almost all of my people." " Cubans are from Spain." "They were Taino Indians who got raped by Columbus and the Conquistadors." "That's right, Reuben." "Mulignon got Martin Luther King Day, what do we got?" " I have sympathy for the red man." " Why is that?" "Jews, because of their history, have common cause with the oppressed." "Some Indians were deliberately given blankets tainted with smallpox." " Died like flies." " No shit?" " Yeah, shit." " Yeah?" "You wanna talk about terrorism?" "Look who started it." " Amen to that, my friend." " That's right." "Christopher Columbus was no better than Adolf Hitler." "Back up." " Hitler?" " Yeah." "I'm not the only one who thinks so." "That Indian from the protest who was whining about the wilderness?" "They had him on T.V., and he called Columbus Hitler." " 'Cause it's true, man." " You're talking out of your ass." "Columbus and Hitler?" "You're trivializing the Holocaust." "Frankly, Reuben, if you got that kind of covert anti-Semitism..." "I'd like you to leave my house." " Anti-Semitism?" " That's right." "Fuck you, too, my man!" "Guys, come on." "Reuben, Hesh, you guys been friends for years." "I'll call Marty up in Connecticut." "He knows a big Mohonk." "That cocksucker." "We're not tired." "I didn't spill food 'cause I'm tired." "Don't argue, okay?" "Listen to your Aunt Grace and Aunt Mary." "Do what they say." "All right, say good night to your Aunt Carmela." "Good night, Aunt Carmela." "It's great your family could come down." "They're leaving tomorrow." "Somebody's sick up there." "Dad?" " Dad, Sophia locked the door!" " Should I get that?" "He takes all my pencils!" " Baccilieri residence." " Carmela, is that you?" " It's Corrado." " Hello." "How's my boy, Bobby, doing?" "He knows I couldn't make it to the services." " He's all right, he's upstairs with the kids." " What a heartbreak." "You know, I remember the first time I met her like it was yesterday." "It was my birthday dinner at Roman Gardens." "I'll never forget it." "She said I looked like Pablo Picasso." "And I didn't even know what he looked like." "But one day, she showed me a picture of him... and, you know, she was right." "That's very touching." "Let me get Bobby." "I wanna know if he'll pick me up for court or if I should call Murf." "Maybe you should let Bobby be." "Think about his needs instead of your own." "It's not me." "Don't villainize me, here." "Murf goes to bed early, so I wanted to call him now... if I need him to drive me." "I don't wanna disturb him when he's asleep." "He's an old man, for God's sake." "Stella!" "What the fuck are you doing?" "We don't have to hide, baby." "I did it." " I told Ro." " You told her about us?" "No." "I told her I didn't wanna be with her anymore, and I left!" "Now I can devote myself to you completely." "Now there can be no more fear." "No more guilt." " Just sex." " Yeah." "You know what I want." "And you want it all, don't you?" "Oh, yeah." "You need me, slut." "I need it all, baby!" "Oh, shit!" "Tonight's my night." "I gotta bring food over to Bobby Bacala's." "You're on ziti patrol, too?" " Ro's got Thursdays." " Well, what should I do?" "You could do me a solid, Tony." "Next time you see Hesh... remind him my granddaughter's Bat Mitzvah present... doesn't really work." "The bubble jet printer." "I don't like to keep hocking him." "He knows about it." "He said he lost the sales slip." "So, Marty, where is this guy?" "There he is." "What'd I say?" "Right on cue." "Chief." " Where, behind the preppy guy?" " That's him." "Chief, I'd like to introduce you to my friends, Silvio Dante..." "Tony Soprano." "The guy I was telling you about." "Chief Doug Smith." "Tribal chairman of the Mohonk Indians and CEO of Mohonk Enterprises." " An honor." " Thanks for coming all the way down here." " I had business in Manhattan anyway." " Not again." "Would you bring the gentleman a Ketel One, please?" "So, Chief, he told you about the shit going down in Newark?" "Small element." "Ruins it for the rest of us." "I've got a $250 million casino and a huge Italian-American customer base." "Providence, east Boston." "Good people." "Our part of the world." "We're closer than Atlantic City." "This is a brand new facility, state-of-the-art." "This fucking protest." "They're burning Columbus in effigy down there." " They'll lay down in front of the parade." " That's not gonna happen." "People like Redclay, they're out of touch, in their ivory towers." "They don't understand the economic opportunity... that funds much of the Native American community." "You should see the Olympic-size swimming pool... this man put in the Deerpark reservation rec center." "Well, we all got kids." "We don't want to see our heritage attacked, that's all." "No offense, Chief, but you don't look much like an Indian." "Frankly, I passed most of my life as white... until I had a racial awakening and discovered my Mohonk blood." "My grandmother on my father's side, her mother was a quarter Mohonk." "All this happened when the casino bill got passed, right?" " Better late than never." " Mohonk if you love Columbus." "Sorry I didn't make it last night." "My Bible group had a potluck for the homeless and I was on cleanup crew." "Food, food." "Like that solves all the world's problems." "Bobby, we've been neighbors." "I know that we don't talk much... but if you want to, I'm here for you." "What is it?" "That day... when she had the accident..." "I was stuck in traffic." "And my son called because Karen wanted me to pick up steaks and eggplants." "And I was mad at her for sending me." "I was tired." "I was mad at her." "But I was stuck in traffic because of her accident." "She was up the road ahead of me, lying in twisted metal." "But I didn't know, and I could've been with her." "I should've been there to help her." "But I was mad at her." "My sweet Karen." "My sweet girl." "Pass me the peppers." "Hello." "Yeah." "Just a second." "Ton', it's the Indian Chief." "Doug, how are you?" "Tony, I wish I had better news." "I struck out." "Redclay didn't go for it." "Ask him about the Iron Eyes Cody thing." "The guy pretended he didn't know me." "You believe the son of a bitch?" "Ask him about Cody." "You ask him about Iron Eyes Cody?" "He didn't give a shit." "It was some internet rumor." "Most Native Americans don't give a flying fuck." "It's like knowing James Caan isn't Italian." "All right, well... it was nice meeting you, and I appreciate the effort." "You gotta let me make it up to you." "Come on up, spend a day." "Sil, whoever you want." "High rollers room, everything comped." " Sure, that sounds good." " Great." "What the fuck did he say about Iron Eyes Cody?" "He said Ralphie had it all fucked up." "And it don't mean nothing anyway, 'cause it's like knowing James Caan isn't Italian." "We think this guy, Redclay, is fucking a graduate student." " We hire a detective..." " I think it's over, Sil." " Yeah, but all we gotta..." " It's over." "He had just lost his wife." "And he had so much sadness." "So much love for her, such complete and pure emotion." "I felt unworthy to even be in his presence." "I was so moved by him." "And then I look at Ralphie." "You saw, in this man, the things that you want in your life." "Truth." " Love." " Yes." "Somehow, I have to find a way to move away from the darkness and toward the light." "What does this man do?" "He works with my brother, but he's not like the others." " Janice..." " Sandy, he's different." "Believe me." "Okay." "But back to Ralph." "You've got to sit him down... and level with him." "Speak the truth, Jan... but with the compassion and respect that you're famous for." "And say goodbye... for his sake, as well as yours." "You're right." "It's not his fault." "Roll me some numbers, fearless leader." " Coming at you." " Yeah, I'm ready, six." "It's all right." "You had a great run, T. You held the dice for quite a while." "Look at this operation." "Whenever I'm in one of these places..." "I remember that my grandmother was part Fugawe." "Maybe I should do something about it." " Bullshit." " No, it's true." "She was." "They were a nomadic tribe, they'd wander around, get lost... and they go, "Where the Fugawe?"" "I see you gentlemen are having a good time." "You getting enough to eat?" "Yeah." "Running out of my comps here." "Go find Marty." "He's on the floor somewhere." "Tony, can we talk a minute?" "Buy you a drink?" "Yeah, sure." "I wanted to give you a check for Jason's tuition." "Okay." " The statement's up in my bedroom." " That's okay, I trust you." "Wait... is it 5:00?" "John, I'm here at Christopher Columbus Park in Newark... where this afternoon violence broke out briefly... between Native American demonstrators and members of a coalition... of 18 various Italian-American pride organizations." "Get out of here!" "This is our day!" "You hear that?" "He fed our people to his dogs!" "My God, this is tragic." "Could be scored with Albinoni's Adagio." "Janootski!" "This is it, hon." "This is the last of the stuff I had at Ro's." "Your shoes." "What?" "Didn't I ask you to take your shoes off when you came in this house?" "Forgot." " Sorry, hon." " You forgot." "So that's just it." "You fucking forgot!" "Oh, fuck." "Get out!" "My back." "I'll kill you, you crazy bitch." "I'll kill you, you bitch." "You crazy cunt!" "Get out!" "It's gotta be on here somewhere." "...scuffle at the Columbus Day parade in Newark." "Among those arrested for blocking a fire lane... was Native American activist Del Redclay... who called the protest an unqualified success." "Elsewhere, a blind river rafter is going to get her wish... after suing for a place in the Colorado River..." "I should've been there." "I would've been fucking there." "I forgot this was a Monday." " Maybe we ought to just whack this prick." " Who the fuck are you kidding?" "All you thought about was blackjack." "What?" "You think this day in the country was free, don't you?" "Well, it wasn't." "Fucking Chief Smith wants Frankie Valli to come up there and play a week." "That's what this whole fucking junket was about." " Frankie?" " Yeah, that's right." "That's why he buttonholed me, goddamn it." "There's bad blood with Frankie's manager." "So the Chief wants me to call him as payback for him reaching out to Redclay." "Well, you're gonna make the fucking call." " I ain't seen Frankie for years..." " Tough shit!" "You're making the fucking call!" "You and this fucking parade, already." "I don't know what you're so hot about." "They discriminate against all Italians as a group when they disallow Columbus..." "Will you fucking stop? "Group"!" "What the fuck happened to Gary Cooper?" "That's what I'd like to know." "He died." "You mean, 'cause he fought the Sioux in all those westerns?" "Fuck that." "Gary Cooper." "Now there was an American." "The strong, silent type." "He did what he had to do." "He faced down the Miller gang... when none of those other assholes would lift a finger to help him." "And did he complain?" "Did he say, "I come from this poor Texas-lrish..." ""illiterate background or whatever, so leave me the fuck out of it..." ""because my people got fucked over"?" "T, not for nothing... but you're getting a little confused here." "A:" "That was the movies." "What difference does that make?" "Columbus was so long ago, he might as well have been a fucking movie." "Images, you said." "The point is, Gary Cooper... the real Gary Cooper... or anybody named Cooper, never suffered like the Italians." "A madigan like him, they fucked everybody else." "The Italians, the Polacks, the Blacks." "All right, even if he was a madigan around nowadays... he'd be a member of some victims' group." "The fundamentalist Christians, the abused cowboys, the gays, whatever." " He was gay, Gary Cooper?" " No!" "Are you listening to me?" "Hey, people suffered." "Did you?" "Except for maybe the feds." "My grandparents got spit on because they were from Calabria." "Let me ask you a question." "All the good things you got in your life... did they come to you 'cause you're Calabrese?" "I'll tell you the answer." "The answer is no." "You got a smart kid at Lackawanna College." "You got a wife who's a piece of ass." "At least she was when you married her." "You own one of the most profitable topless bars in North Jersey." "Did you get all this 'cause you're Italian?" "No, you got it 'cause you're you, 'cause you're smart, 'cause you're whatever." "Where the fuck is our self-esteem?" "That shit doesn't come from Columbus, or The Godfather, or Chef fucking Boyardee." "We gotta tiptoe around the Indians though, don't we?" "We can't call our teams the Braves or the Tomahawks or the..." "You take it up with Frankie Valli when you talk to him."