"Naturally, Major Hochstetter, I'm not trying to tell the Gestapo how to run their business." "I should think not." "I was merely suggesting that if you'd told me what you wanted from Colonel Hogan," "I might have saved you the trip." "That is ridiculous." "That is exactly right, and I don't even know why I said it." "This is not the job for an amateur." "Gruppenfuhrer Freitag himself personally has ordered me to question Hogan." "He is waiting for my report." "Gruppenfuhrer Freitag?" "Oh, that's top, top level Gestapo." "I... ( knocking )" "Come in!" "You wanted to see me, Colonel?" "I'm sorry." "I didn't know you had company." "The Gestapo is not company." "Frankly, I never thought much of them myself." "Hogan, you will show a little respect for Major Hochstetter!" "Just a little, sir?" "I mean a lot of respect!" "And please, don't twist my words." "I will take over, Klink." "Colonel, I will stand for no nonsense." "I want some information from you." "Gosh, you mean there's something the Gestapo doesn't know?" "What we don't know, we have ways of finding out-- ways that are not always... pleasant." "Don't make trouble for yourself." "Talk." "Klink, will you stay out of this?" "Colonel, sit down, please." "Tell me, Colonel, what do you know about the Manhattan Project?" "What is it?" "Maybe they're selling the island back to the Indians?" "The 504th Bomb Group was assigned to the Manhattan Project, is that right?" "Were they?" "You should know." "You commanded the 504th Bomb Group." "Did I?" "They have been taken out of combat and sent back to the States for special training, correct?" "How 'bout that!" "Those are not answers." "You better..." "HOCHSTETTER:" "Klink!" "Colonel, may I remind you that the Gestapo can be very unfriendly?" "Very unfriendly." "You know, I've heard that, and I've often wondered, what's a nice guy like you doing in an outfit like that?" "Of course, we could give you the time to think it over in a special cell we have." "It's not big enough to stand up in, and it is not big enough to lie down in." "Sounds like a hotel room I once had in Cleveland." "During the days, the temperature is 140 degrees, and at night, it is below freezing." "That's the hotel, all right." "Then, if you still won't talk, you will be starved, tortured and then shot." "Well, Colonel, what you say, hmm?" "What can I say?" "You've made me homesick for Cleveland." "All right, Colonel, that will be all." "For now!" "I certainly enjoy these impromptu chats." "We should do it more often." "I must make my report to Gruppenfuhrer Freitag." "What are you going to report?" "That being nice didn't work." "( radio pulsing ) Kill that transmission." "Shut down right now." "What's the matter?" "The Nazis have a spy at Allied headquarters." "I don't want this radio used till we find out who he is." "How do you know there is a spy, Colonel?" "I was just visiting with the Gestapo." "They know I was with the 504th Bomb Group and that they've been transferred back to the States." "So they know." "What good does that do them?" "The only place they could have found that out is headquarters in London." "Well, if there's a spy, shouldn't we tell them about it?" "How?" "Send it on the radio?" "We might be telling it to the spy himself." "That'd be a waste of time." "He already knows." "There's got to be another way to tip them off." "Have you got the schedule of the courier planes between Washington and London?" "Yeah, right here." "Good." "General Butler left Washington this morning." "Must be halfway across the Atlantic right now." "Can we reach him with our radio?" "No, that's out of our range." "We'd need a bigger antenna." "Can you make one?" "I guess so." "All right." "Good." "Go ahead." "It's a good thing you found out about that spy." "Do you think Hochstetter knows about us, sir?" "I don't think so." "He's got something else on his mind, something called the Manhattan Project, whatever that is." "( laughs )" "In a way, it's kind of funny-- about the spy." "He's in the same kind of business as we are." "We may be in the same business, but we're not working for the same company." "Can't be any smaller, not if we're going to reach" "General Butler's plane." "And it has to go on top of the flagpole?" "That's the only place." "It'll be noticed right away." "Nobody could miss that." "Of course not." "They'll notice it, all right... ( sighs ) ...but there's a way so they won't pay attention." "That looks absolutely great." "What a sneaky idea." "( radio pulsing )" "General Butler says he's received the message, and do you have any idea who the spy is?" "Tell him no and ask him what time exactly he expects to be at headquarters." "Right." "( radio pulsing )" "Two hours and 15 minutes." "All right." "Tell him to get everybody, including off- duty personnel, on their jobs." "In exactly three hours, we're going to send a message to headquarters." "All right." "Whoever tries to leave will be the spy." "What message are you going to send?" "And what makes you so sure the spy's going to try to get out?" "Put yourself in the spy's place." "A message comes that a bomb's been planted on Hitler's private train." "The bomb is going off in an hour." "Wouldn't you break your neck to get a warning out?" "I'm glad you're on our side, Colonel." "Radio message from headquarters, Colonel." "Bulls-eye;" "on target." "The trick worked." "We got the spy." "( laughing and cheering )" "Fabulous!" "We're back in business!" "Achtung!" "The commandant is coming." "( conversation continues )" "Achtung!" "The commandant is coming!" "( conversation continues )" "( whispers ):" "Colonel Hogan, please." "All right, hold it down, fellas." "Now, everybody seems to be very happy." "What's the occasion, eh?" "Some good news from home." "We haven't had any mail for two weeks." "A delayed reaction." "Colonel Hogan, I'd like to have a word with you." "Hogan, I admire the position you're taking with the Gestapo." "That's very manly, very soldierly." "Thank you." "Naturally, they're going to make you talk, and when they do, you don't want to talk to a man like Major Hochstetter, do you?" "He's not our type." "Well, who is?" "I am." "So don't talk to them; talk to me." "Of course." "Why should we let credit go to strangers?" "It's agreed, then?" "You'll only talk to me?" "If I talk, it's only to you." "( relieved chuckle )" "Schultz!" ""Spy talked." "Said he was working for Gruppenfuhrer Freitag."" "That's the clown that sent Hochstetter to question me." ""Freitag knows all about us-- the tunnel and the radio."" "Boy." "( sighs )" ""End the operation here." ""Arrange with the Underground to get back to London at once."" "Hey, London!" "We're gonna..." "London!" "( excited conversation )" "Can you believe that?" "We're going to..." "If Freitag knows about us... why weren't we arrested?" "Who cares?" "Let's get out of here while we can!" "Yeah, before they blow the whistle on us." "Hold it, hold it!" "I don't think Freitag's worried about us." "He's after something more important." "Kinch, ask London what "Manhattan Project" is." "Right." "You know what I'm going to do first thing we get out?" "What?" "I'm gonna take you all 'round the Red Lion." "What's the Red Lion?" "It's a pub." "Oh, yeah?" "We'll have a beer..." "Fabulous." "Do they have hot dogs?" "They have sausages in Eng... ( radio pulsing )" ""Do not, repeat, do not mention that project" ""in any communication." "Classified Top Secret."" "They seemed a bit upset." "Manhattan Project..." "I wonder how much Freitag knows..." "It might upset them even more." "Here we are, gentlemen." "Last chance-- a "going out of business" sale." "A perfect watch, perfect working order." "Shock-proof, everything." "No offers?" "You sell it to yourself." "You know, I've been figuring out:" "I've got an awful lot of back pay coming." "I'm going be very rich." "I know a French girl who's living in London." "She used to be with the Follies Bergere." "I'm going to take her to the best restaurant and spend the evening just looking at her and the food." "I'm going to get into a hot bath and stay there for a week." "Hah-hah!" "I'm going to go to Regent Park Zoo and watch somebody else in a cage." "What's happening?" "We're just shining up the old place a bit, Shultz." "For the next bunch." "What next bunch?" "Well, we heard a rumor, Shultz, we're going to be moved to a new barracks." "Yeah, that's right." "Why do you listen to rumors?" "If you were going anyplace, the commandant would tell me." "Maybe you'll tell him." "You're throwing all this away?" "Yeah." "Who needs it?" "SCHULTZ:" "Ooh." "This is foolish to throw all this away." "This is real wool." "It's all yours, Schultzy." "Thank you." "Look at this!" "Ah!" "Ooh!" "Dr. Livingstone, I presume." "No, it's me-- Sergeant Shultz." "Oh, for goodness sakes." "So it is." "Herr Kommandant wants to see you in his office, but don't worry." "He is in a very good mood." "That's the time to worry." "Tell him I'll be right there." "I'll come back for the rest later." "Don't forget to set the time charges in the tunnel and on the radio equipment." "All taken care of, sir." "Okay." "I'll see what Klink wants." "( knock at door )" "Colonel Hogan, what do you think of this hat, eh?" "Well, it covers your head." "I don't know what else you can expect of it." "Guess who's here in town?" "General Eisenhower?" "Oh, please." "Don't be ridiculous." "I'm not." "He's going to be here sooner or later." "Gruppenfuhrer Freitag." "And he's invited us to dinner-- you and me." "It's a social invitation." "Dinner." "Sounds like a great honor." "It's the greatest." "Don't you realize how important this man is?" "He has the Fuhrer's ear." "It sounds kind of messy to me." "Oh, please don't make those kind of jokes about Gruppenfuhrer Freitag." "He doesn't have my sense of humor." "Now, if he takes a liking to me, there's no telling how far I'll go." "Naturally, I'd like to see you go far." "Thank you, Hogan." "We're all ready, Colonel." "The underground will meet us at the tunnel entrance right at the dot." "I can't go." "Something's come up." "I've got to check and see whether" "Gruppenfuhrer Freitag really knows what the Manhattan Project is." "But we were ordered to leave." "Yeah, sir." "It was an order." "I know." "Look, I know how you guys feel." "You go as scheduled." "I'll come later." "But, Colonel, once they find out we're gone, you'll never get away." "You'll be a dead duck." "Look, don't worry about me." "I'll make it somehow." "You go as planned." "I think I'll stay." "I'm getting used to cold showers." "A hot bath might give me pneumonia." "Me, too." "I mean, I'll have more back pay coming." "You know, at the end of the war." "CARTER:" "Well, I may as well stay." "I don't want to see animals in a cage." "I hope you don't think" "I'm going to a big city like London all by myself." "What about that French bird you told me about?" "The ones in the Folies Bergere." "I haven't seen her for ten years." "She must be a grandmother by now." "Look, you guys are free to go." "You're all here as volunteers in the first place." "We're staying." "It's settled." "Business at the old stand as usual, sir." "Right." "Okay." "Thanks." "Hey, Schultz has our stuff." "Hey!" "Schultz!" "Hey!" "Ilse." "Well?" "You look very well, Ilse." "Thank you, Herman." "You think the American colonel will like me?" "If he doesn't, everything I've heard about the Americans is a lie." "Now, Ilse, remember," "I want you to be especially nice to Colonel Hogan." "You know what I mean?" "I know." "Is there anything I can do to be of help?" "Yes, Mannheim, you can help by keeping your nose out of this." "From what I've heard of Colonel Hogan, he would make a monkey out of you in two minutes." "I'm your assistant." "If you would only tell me why he is coming here," "I might surprise you by thinking of something." "If you ever thought of anything, it would surprise me." "What I want from this Colonel Hogan is some special information." "And your rubber hoses and medieval tortures won't get it-- not from this man." "You seem well-informed about him." "You might say I have a special interest in him." "He's a remarkable man." "Intelligent and resourceful... ( knock on door )" "Gruppenfuhrer Freitag, I cannot tell you what an honor it is to have the opportunity to be talking..." "Colonel Hogan, I've heard so much about you, I feel I've known you for a long time." "How would you have heard about me?" "I haven't really done anything." "Your modesty does you credit." "But, sometimes, the best-kept secrets leak out." "Know what I mean?" "I suppose you're talking about the bombing mission I flew against your secret submarine base at Bremen." "Oh, was that you?" "( chuckling )" "Yeah, we lost eight submarines in that raid." "I believe it was nine, but who's counting?" "( laughs ):" "That reminds me of a marvelously funny story about a sailor who hadn't seen his wife for..." "Actually, I'm an admirer of what you have been doing more recently." "Oh, I'm sorry." "Colonel Hogan, this is Ilse Praeger." "Uh, Deputy Gruppenfuhrer Mannheim...?" "What is your name?" "Uh, Klink, sir." "Wilhelm Klink." "Yes." "Mannheim, why don't you see if my uniforms are back from the tailor?" "And take Colonel Kink with you." "Klink." "Whatever you say." "Let me get you a drink, hmm?" "Sit." "I suppose you don't see many girls at the prison camp." "The percentage is pretty low." "But you must think about them a lot." "Well, you see, we have this program of sports and pure thoughts." "Getting acquainted, I see." "That's nice." "I can't get over how friendly everybody is." "Speaking of friends," "I have a friend in London." "I haven't heard from him for a few days." "I wonder if anything could have happened to him." "Who knows?" "London isn't the safest place in the world these days, thanks to you." "Neither is Berlin, thanks to you." "You're welcome." "Colonel Hogan, let me make my position clear." "I am a loyal German, but the Gestapo and the High Command don't always see eye-to-eye." "So, if I knew of anyone who was making a fool of them-- someone who's operating a secret radio, let us say, in, uh, a secret tunnel, perhaps" "I wouldn't feel obliged to turn that man in." "Do you follow me?" "Sure." "You don't like the brass." "Ah, I see you understand." "All I ask in return for my silence is some information." "About what?" "I want to know about the Manhattan Project." "You're not supposed to know about that." "It's the biggest secret of the war." "Yeah, but you see, I do know." "Suppose you tell me all you know." "Nothing." "I know nothing about it." "I don't want to talk about it." "I better see when dinner will be ready." "You have such wonderful, sensitive hands." "Do you play the violin?" "No." "Harmonica." "Such a strong face." "It shows a great deal of character." "You know, I've never had much confidence in that program of sports and pure thoughts." "Something wrong?" "I'm sorry." "I don't want to bother you with my troubles." "Okay." "It's him" " Freitag." "I hate him." "He's mean." "I can't stand him." "Well, these will help you to bear up." "They're not from him." "They belonged to my mother." "Mom got around a little." "Oh, Colonel Hogan," "I want to prove to you I'm on your side." "Yeah, I can see for myself." "The information Freitag wants-- he'll do anything to get it." "And you can make him pay for it." "Money?" "Now you're talking my language." "Dinner will be in a few minutes." "Now, let me see." "Where were we before I left?" "No place." "But I did pretty good after you left." "Really, if you men are going to talk business," "I will go powder my nose." "Now about this Manhattan Project-- it's a bomb, isn't it?" "What's different about it?" "How close are they to finishing it?" "( sighs )" "Hogan, I'm going to be frank with you." "You've heard the expression "Every man has his price"?" "I'd say there's a price for everything a man has or knows." "I like the way you think." "Keep talking." "Tell me what I want to know, and I'll see you are safely escorted to the Swiss border." "Also, there will be $50,000 in American money deposited in your name in a Swiss bank." "Well?" "Very generous." "But you're forgetting there are four men back in camp who have been working with me." "Not gonna get much chance to enjoy that money after the war when they talk and my government puts two and two together." "We'll dispose of them." "That's the most efficient way, I suppose, but I'm sentimental." "I'd like to keep them with me." "Very well, they will be taken with you to the Swiss border." "However," "I don't want to share the $50,000 with them." "Still, they should get something." "Hmm." "( laughs ):" "Hogan, it's a pleasure doing business with you." "You're dishonest enough to make me trust you implicitly." "And I trust you." "But I don't know if I can trust your partners." "No partners." "I work alone." "That way, I never have to share the credit." "Good." "Now, what about the men?" "They'll be expecting something." "There will be $1,000 for each of them." "$500 will be enough for them." "All right." "Now, tell me exact..." "Not so fast." "Let me talk to the men first-- make sure they'll go along." "When will you know?" "Tonight, if I go back now." "Very well." "I'll see you at the prison camp later." "Mannheim!" "( laughing ):" "Colonel Mannheim was just telling me that every year the weather seems to be..." "Take him back to camp." "What about dinner?" "What dinner?" "But you invited us." "Forget it." "I'll see you later." "That's all!" "What did you say to him?" "Me?" "Nothing at all." "Gruppenfuhrer Freitag," "I must register a protest." "This is all very improper." "I'm your second in command, and I don't know what's going on." "That's the way I want it." "Mannheim, why do you think I picked you for this job?" "Have you any idea?" "Because I was the best man you could find." "Not at all." "It's because I don't trust bright, ambitious people." "You have to watch them all the time." "But let me warn you, Mannheim." "There are limits to how much stupidity I will put up with." "What's the good of staying?" "You couldn't tell Freitag about the Manhattan Project even if you wanted to." "You don't even know what it is." "Well, whatever it is, Freitag knows too much." "I'm going to see that he never learns more about it." "Well, you don't mean that you're gonna..." "Tonight, when he comes to camp." "Suppose somebody else has that information?" "No." "Freitag's a loner." "He's the only one that knows about the project and the tunnel." "He's got to be liquidated." "Colonel Hogan!" "You'll never guess in a million years what's happening." "Not in a million years." "Gruppenfuhrer Freitag's car is coming through the gate, and Klink sent you to get me." "Yeah." "How do you know?" "When you said I'd never guess in a million years, what else could it be, Schultz?" "( sighs )" "Gruppenfuhrer Freitag, it is indeed a great honor to have you..." "Mannheim, park the car." "Don't you want me to help you interview Colonel Hogan?" "You'd better do what you're best at." "I believe you were a parking attendant in Munich before the war." "Uh, would you like to come into my office?" "Yes." "But you stay out." "Sir, out of my own office?" "Major Hochstetter, send a radio message to Berlin and arrange a meeting with Himmler." "Say I will have some very important information for him." "Yes, sir." "He can't do this to me-- keep me out of my own office." "He can't?" "Well, I mean, he shouldn't." "Of course he can." "Aah!" "Colonel Hogan, go right in." "Gruppenfuhrer Freitag is waiting." "Hogan, when you're in there talking to him, could you say a good word for me?" "I know he likes you, and if you... ( two gunshots )" "SCHULTZ:" "Somebody's shooting outside." "Somebody's shooting inside." "( whimpers )" "What happened?" "I heard shots." "Get a doctor, quick." "He's still alive?" "But that's impossible." "Anyone's aim would be a little off shooting through a window." "And you were a little excited, you know." "I'll finish him now!" "He treated me like a dog!" "What's going on here?" "Why don't you get a doctor?" "Never mind the doctor." "Freitag's deader than a doornail." "But you said..." "Forget it, duck for cover." "MANNHEIM:" "You lied!" "( shouts )" "You lied!" "( glass breaking )" "Schultz, go out there and get him." "That's an order." "I can't, Herr Kommandant." "I lost my rifle." "( thudding )" "HOGAN:" "I've been counting the shots." "His gun is empty." "Are you sure?" "Positive." "I'll capture him, Herr Kommandant." "Never mind, Schultz." "I'll do it myself." "Mannheim, you're under arrest." "You've run out of bullets." "You're helpless." "( gunshot ) Oh!" "Hogan!" "I've always been terrible at arithmetic." "What was all the shooting?" "Your man Mannheim shot your man Freitag." "Take him." "Oh, here it is!" "I found my rifle." "I knew it was someplace." "Congratulations on your courage in capturing Mannheim, sir." "What are you talking about?" "All I did was to..." "That's right." "It was me." "I did capture him." "Oh, Major Hochstetter, when you make out your report to Berlin, be sure and tell them that I was the one..." "Well?" "No." "Mannheim got Freitag." "Looks like we got two for the price of one." "And we have our tunnel back." "All to ourselves." "To say nothing of the Manhattan Project still being a secret, whatever it is." ""(End of Episode)""