"(Angus Stone) ♪ Hey ♪" "♪" ""A tattered pair of socks, a stained coffee mug, an unpaid bill, a pair of eyeglasses on the dresser..."" "(Sniffles)" ""A desk calendar frozen forever on that idle Wednesday."" "(Woman crying)" ""Mementos of you linger, untouched, ethereal..."" "Thank you." ""As if disturbing them would risk losing you forever." ""You are gone, yet you remain, and tomorrow, this won't hurt as much."" "What stage of grief are you in?" "(Rhythmic whistling)" "(Addison crying)" "♪ In your father's tears ♪" "Everything okay?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "I'll be right out." "Can you, um, can you warm up a bottle for Henry?" "I'm on it." "You hungry, big guy?" "Hmm?" "A few years after, I moved out with my boyfriend Josh." " (Chuckles) J-Josh?" " Mm-hmm." "And he developed a bad habit of getting high and forgetting he had a girlfriend..." " Uh-oh." " So I kicked him out." " Uh, threw myself into work at UCLA..." " Right." "Until Dr. King stole me away." "And then I met this hot doctor." "Mm." "Mm." "Your turn." "Okay." "I like this game." " Mmm." "No. (Laughs)" " What?" "How about your story?" "Uh, you..." "I don't want to bore you with that." "No, I want to hear it." "Come on." "I want to hear the Sam Bennett autobiography." "Give me the cliffsnotes version." " Okay, cliffsnotes version is..." " Mm-hmm." "Uh, well, first I was born." "Mm-hmm." "♪" "And then I grew up." "♪" "And then-- oh, yeah." "I became a hot doctor." "Mm." "Yes, you did." " Is that right?" " Mm-hmm." "♪ We were feeling fine ♪" "You're crazy." "He's obviously a vampire." "A vampire that eats nothing but chocolate." "Tony is a freaking tiger." "He would maul the count-- and eat him as part of his complete breakfast." "No way." "Get ready for school, Mase." "Thank you." "You bet." "You guys behave yourselves in there today." "Don't do that." "You know you're 12 weeks, right?" "That's customarily when people tell other people." "We're not people." "♪" "I am gonna be at the hospital most of the day." "I'm pulling a double." "Are you covering the ER again?" "Maybe I'll come have lunch with you guys." "I'm gonna be busy, Coop." "No kiss?" "♪ Hey ♪" "That's what got me here in the first place." "(Laughs)" "(Grunts)" "(Baby-talk voice) All right." "Hey." "Are you excited about your new room?" " Mm-hmm." " What color do you want it?" " Blue." " Blue?" "Blue it is." "(Normal voice) We'll go over there and we'll unpack right away, and then you can make a fort with the boxes." "All right." "This is the last one." " We'll see you over there." " Okay." "All right." "You ready, buddy?" "I want daddy." "I want to see daddy." "What?" "I want to see daddy." "Do you remember what we talked about?" "I want to see daddy." "Hey, baby, remember when we talked about seeing "Lion King,"" "and you asked me what happened to Mufasa?" "Mufasa died." "That's right." "That's right." " So daddy's with Mufasa..." " Mm-hmm." "In-- in heaven." "I want to see daddy." "Baby, he's in heaven." "Do you understand, honey?" "Mm-hmm." "Daddy's coming later?" "I want to see him." "Okay." "(Laughs)" "Yeah." "You ready to go?" "All right." "Say, "bye-bye, house,"" "(grunts) Bye-bye, house." "(People speaking indistinctly)" " Have you talked to Derek?" " Mm-hmm." "How's he doing?" "He's great." "I mean, it's not every day you get to watch them pull the plug on your best friend." "Sorry." "It's just, Mark was, you know, he spent so much time at our house, growing up." "He was as much my brother as Derek." "W-- except for the fact that we, you know, did it." "I don't know how to respond to that." "Well, how about this?" "Two men I've slept with are dead." "You think it's me?" "Well, with Pete, my count is also at two, and mine's two in one week, so I think you're in the clear." "In the clear about what?" "Uh, I... gotta work." "What's that all about?" " Mark Sloan." " Ah." "I'm sorry." "I know that you were all good friends." "Honest." "No." "No." "I'm honest." "I'm honest to a fault." "It's just" " I don't want to reveal too much too soon." "Well, then don't." "I mean, certainly don't reveal anything too incriminating." "Yeah." "We'll, uh, we'll talk about this later." "(Amelia) Talk about what?" "Sam doesn't know when to tell Stephanie about his past." "Coop." "What did I just say?" " What about his past?" " We're not talking about this" "(Amelia) Well, there's a lot there." "You live next door to your ex." "And she's not just any ex." "I mean, she was your ex-wife's best friend, so" "(Charlotte) Secrets will get you into trouble." "Better put it all out there." " Seriously?" " Shut up, Cooper." "(Jake) Look, I think every relationship is different." "There's no right or wrong time when to reveal things about who you are." "Sam, just tell her everything." "If she runs, she's not worth it." "Where'd he go?" "Hey, man." "I wanted to follow up on your test results." "Yeah, I have it covered, Sam." "Thanks." "So then you got the biopsy?" "I said, I have it covered." "Are you angry with me?" "Well, let's see." "I come to you, my colleague, my friend-- or so I thought-- for a routine physical, and you take it upon yourself to give me a PSA test and change the trajectory of my life." "So, yes, anger is one of the many things I'm feeling." "You told me that you had trouble urinating." "I said I had a shy bladder." "Your PSA was a 5, Sheldon." "Now it doesn't necessarily mean you have prostate cancer, but" "I didn't want to know." "Most men die with prostate cancer, Sam, not of it." "Ignoring this thing isn't gonna make it go away." "Well, how about ignoring you?" "Maybe this was a bad idea." "I mean, maybe I'm just an angry guy." "Adam, you came to see me because you know you have a problem." "So let's talk about it." "How does the anger start?" "Is there anything specific that sets it off?" "Honestly... it feels random." "Like, last week, my wife wouldn't shut up about the drapes in the dining room." "I mean, who cares about drapes in a dining room?" "So..." "I snapped at her." "I mean, look, I apologized immediately." "You know, I mean, I know I was being an ass." "And then there's this guy at work." "He always takes the last cold soda." "Doesn't put anything back in the fridge." "All he's gotta do is just pick it up and just put it in there." "Does he know how you feel about this?" "Well, he does now." "I threw a can at him." "(Scoffs)" "Look, I-I know that what I did was wrong, but" "It's all right to feel whatever you feel." "It is not all right to behave however you want to behave." "Okay, so a-are there some tricks I can use?" "Like, my brother Ricky-- he tried hypnosis to quit smoking." "Well, anger doesn't really work that way." "It's not a habit." "So in order to help you, we really need to know the underlying causes." "Some people get angry when they feel they haven't gotten what they deserve." "For others, it comes from fear or vulnerability." "Guilt can also be a trigger." "Um..." "What are the rules here?" "I need to know if I can trust you." "A-anything you say is protected by the doctor/patient relationship." " Anything?" " Well, there are two exceptions-- if you've ever abused a child or if you are planning to commit a crime." "So if it was... in the past" "It stays between us." "I don't know." "I don't think that I can." "You can tell me, Adam." "It's okay." "What is it?" "What happened?" "11 years ago, I shot someone." "Okay?" "I shot someone." "Our daughter, Jenny, she was 21, just finished college, and she was backpacking across Europe, and she had one more week." "So I called, left a message." "You know, what do you say to a voice mail?" "So I, uh, I told her to call me, and, uh, she did... from the Moulin Rouge." "And she was so excited, just going on and on, and when she said, "how are you?"" "I couldn't tell her." "I-I couldn't do it." "So I said-- and this just came out" "I said, "Tracey was in the shower."" "I mean, she's just a kid, and those four words-- "your mother is dead"... they were gonna change her life forever, so if I could give her one more week..." "Why not?" "Who did you shoot?" "I don't know his name." "I was 18." "A stupid kid." "I mean, you gotta understand, back then, it was just me and my baby brother growing up." "We had two different dads who we never met." "Our mom-- she bailed." "We had nothing." "I mean, what would you do if you saw your baby brother hungry, crying, cold?" "Tell me what happened." "Um..." "It was, uh..." "It was Super Bowl." "A guy came out of this fancy Italian joint on Pico." "Ricky was 13." "He was all bones, no coat." "He didn't deserve that." "So I got a gun." "I wasn't planning on shooting it." "It was just to..." "Look, I just needed to get us some money," " Some food." " So it was a robbery?" "If I could go back and change it..." "But the guy-- he wouldn't give me his money." "He lunged at me, and I panicked, and the gun went off." "And then I ran." "What happened to the guy you shot?" "I don't know and I don't need to know." "(People speaking indistinctly)" "Dress the wound, then get an X-ray." "(Indistinct conversations)" " Hi." " Hi." "I know you said you didn't have time to have lunch with me today, but I wanted to make sure that you ate." "Thanks." "Sandwich with a side of broccoli-- jammed with nutrients-- and also two kinds of soup-- lentils and chicken noodle." "Lentils are great." "They got iron, folic acid, they got protein, and, you know, chicken soup has sustained my people for centuries." " Thank you." " There's also a plum, which I don't know about the nutritional value, but in a symbolic point of view, you know that the cooplettes are the size of plums right now?" "Now that you could tell with you since you're barely showing." "Where's the on-call oral surgeon?" "We paged Dr. Walker twice." "Well, then page him again and get this guy an abdominal CT." " Ask me how I know that." " What?" "How the cooplettes are the size of plums." "Honey, I" "How do you know that?" "There's an app for it." "I downloaded it this morning." "Sends you all sorts of information about the babies, about what to expect." "In two weeks, they're gonna be the size of avocados." "Oh, then you'll bring me some guacamole." " I'm really busy here, Coop." " Yeah, I know." "You've been pulling shifts at the ER for months." "Just hire someone." "I can't hire just anyone." "It takes time to find the right person." "Well, I think you're being overly picky, and you can't keep this up, especially now." "The plums need you off your feet." "I have to go." "I brought you an iced tea from downstairs." "Thank you." "So how's it feel being back at work?" "Ah, work keeps me busy." "It's helpful to feel helpful, you know?" "Yeah." "My patient had an important breakthrough today." "It's a-- it's a tricky one." "He did something when he was younger." "He shot a man." "He fled the scene." "He doesn't know what happened." " Does he want to know?" " He says he doesn't, but the guilt is eating him alive." "I mean, maybe he does want to know, but-- but his denial" "No." "No." "You're a psychiatrist, not a detective." " Well, no, I didn't say" " You don't have to." "Your patient didn't ask you to research this, and going behind his back is a betrayal of his trust, and without that trust, the patient can no longer engage in therapy, and you can't help him." "But what if the man is still alive?" "I mean, if it's good news," "I could tell him, and a huge burden would be lifted." "Yeah, what if it isn't good news?" "What if your patient is, in fact, a murderer?" "What then?" "You think you're gonna be able to keep this to yourself?" " Of course." " No, I'm not so sure." "If his victim is dead, you're gonna judge him." "You're gonna know that your patient is a murderer, and it's gonna color how you feel about him." "It's a Pandora's box, Violet, and, you know, it's not yours to open." "Leave it alone." "Hey." "What's with the smile?" "Lydia Riggins." "18 months-- that's how long we've been trying." "And now she's pregnant." "Congratulations." "You okay?" "You sure?" "You don't really seem okay." "(Sighs deeply) You're right." "I'm" " I don't know." "I don't mean to be not okay." "I'm sorry." "Look, a friend died, and it's-- it's a lot to deal with." "Well, I will be fine." "People die all the time, you know?" "I've lost my mom," "Pete, and now Mark." "It's what it is." "It seems like more." "No." "I gotta head to the birthing suite." "You are not the only one who brings life into the world." "Well, if you want to talk..." "You know, I think you actually might be a saint." "Thank you." "It's a teakettle." "Doesn't telling me defeat the purpose of wrapping it?" "Yeah." "I guess." "We thought it'd be a perfect housewarming gift." "Oh, I love it." "Thank you." "Hey, can I ask you something?" "Yeah, it comes in other colors." "I mean, I said we should get red, and Charlotte was like, no." "No." "No." "No." "I-I love the kettle." "It's perfect." "I-- uh, supposed there's someone, and you want to help them, but they claim that they don't want your help." "Oh, is it-- is it Addison?" " No." " No?" "Sam?" "Is it Sam?" "No." "No." "You don't know them, Cooper." "Oh, it's a patient." "Okay, you know what?" "Forget I asked." "How are you, you, of the mighty olympian sperm?" "Ah." "Gold, silver... (High-pitched voice) and bronze." "(Normal voice) Um, I'd be better if I saw the mother of my soon-to-be children a little bit more." "She's picking up all sorts of shifts in the ER, and she's just-- she's running herself into the ground." "Well, sometimes work can be the best way to occupy your mind." "From something bad." "This is a good th--I mean" "Coop." "In a year, she's gone from not being a mother to being a mother of a 9 year old and 3 babies." "That would be a nightmare for a normal woman, and she's Charlotte." " I know." " She'll come around." "There's a reason they give us nine months, you know?" "(Woman) As tragedy struck tonight in West LA, 43-year-old Kevin Glanville left a Superbowl party early and was shot and killed outside, the four-star Pierro's on Pico Boulevard." "Police officers believe the motive was robbery." "At this point, there are no suspects, but the search continues for any witnesses." "Glanville is survived by his wife Elyse and their two children, Brady and Lena, ages 7 and 4." "You know, there's so much to take care of-- the bills, the insurance." "I forgot to cancel his BlackBerry, and about a week ago, there was a call from a number I didn't recognize, so" "I called back." "She said she loved him." "(Sniffles)" "(Crying) My husband." "Two years he'd been seeing her." "(Sniffles)" "I'm mourning his loss, but I hate him." "My husband is in the ground, covered in dirt, and..." "I hate him." "(Sniffles)" "Chai tea latte." "Aw." "You always remember." "Thank you." "You know, you-- you don't have to do this now." "No point in putting it off." " Wonder what saw palmetto is." " Damned if I know." "I was talking to one of Pete's patients earlier." "She asked me what she should do if she runs out of milk thistle." "What did you tell her?" "Try whole foods." "(Chuckles)" "You holding up okay?" "You know what they say about grief having five stages?" "There's way more." "How about you?" "I'm a... cheater." "You cheated on Jake?" "Not physically, but emotionally." "Who's the lucky guy?" "Mark Sloan." "I mean, we hadn't spoken in months, but I can't-- I can't stop crying, you know, and that feels like cheating on Jake." "Addison, there is room to mourn somebody you loved and still be in love with somebody else." "Yeah, well, it feels very crowded inside of me right now." "Well, maybe talking to Jake would help." "(Scoffs) I have a history, Violet, and not just I dated some guys and made some mistakes." "I have a history." "Jake doesn't know a lot of things, and I-I-I-- if open that door, then" "Addison, anyone you enter into a relationship with is gonna have a history." "You are your past." "Own it." "(Indistinct conversations)" "Hey, sexy." "That's Dr. Bennett to you." "You want to grab food tonight?" "Oh, I can't tonight." "I'm sorry." "Oh." "Oh?" "What, oh?" "It's your night with the other women in the harem." "What?" "Well, it's not like I really know anything about you." "Oh, come on, Stephanie." "So it's just a date with an old flame then?" "You know what?" "Yeah, that's exactly what it is." "Sam, that was a joke." "Not a good one, obviously." "Yeah, right." "Come on." "I was kidding." "All right, I gotta get back to the office." "(Clears throat)" "I have to say, since, uh, telling you about what happened," "I'm just starting to feel better." "I mean, I know what I did was wrong, but just saying it out loud, I feel so... (Exhales) relieved." "I mean, if I'd known that could've happened," "I would've brought it up much sooner." "Dr. Turner?" "Are you all right?" "Yeah." "It's..." "I'm" " I'm" " I'm just not feeling that well all of a sudden." "Do you mind if we cut our session short?" "Yeah." "Um, could I make an appointment" " for the same time tomorrow?" " Sure." "I just feel like I'm really starting to get somewhere." "(People speaking indistinctly)" "I-I hope you feel better." "You don't belong back at work yet." "You lost your husband." "You can't achieve closure with the problems in your marriage, so instead, you go digging around in your patient's past." "Well, maybe knowing the truth could bring him closure." " Maybe I should tell him." " It's not your place, and if you do tell him, he's gonna have to live with the fact that he's a murderer" "He always was a murderer." "His ignorance didn't change that." "The only difference is, if he knows for sure, maybe he could do something about it." "You came to me because you screwed up." "I know!" "I know." "I did the wrong thing, and now I need you to help me to fix it." "I-- if I don't tell him, I don't know what to say." "What do I say?" "Help me, Sheldon." "I know you're right." "I know." "But if I tell him, he is screwed." "If I don't tell him, I'm screwed." "I-- ah, damn it." "I mean, any other time, I" "I'm off my game." "Otherwise I would never... (Cries) What do I do?" "Refer him to another therapist." "You have to stop seeing this patient, so just-- just walk away, Violet." "Two doctors say she's brain-dead, a third says, "miracles happen." "Don't give up."" "I don't know what the percentage is." "It's small." "Miniscule, even." "But if I take her off life support, what if she's in that small percentage?" "What if the next day, she would've opened her eyes?" "You hear about it all the time." "People just wake up." "And she's such a fighter." "We went on this cleanse once for three weeks." "Day two, she comes home and catches me scarfing down a box of cookies." "I mean, literally inhaling them." "I was so done." "But she saw it through." "She never gives up on anything, so how can I give up on her?" "There you are." "Just listening to the sounds of the real ocean and the sounds of the fake ocean from the baby monitor." "It's very meta." "Addison, what's..." "What's going on with you?" "Have I done something wrong or" "No." "No." "You-- you haven't." "You're" " It's not... you." "(Exhales deeply)" "You asked me about Mark before." "Yeah, but you clearly didn't want to talk about him." "I" " It's not that." "It's just" " I, uh, you look at me right now-- you have this way of looking at me." "It's very honest and open, and I'm afraid if I... (Sighs)" "I don't want you to look at me differently." " Why would I look at you differently?" " Can we not do this right now?" " I-I can't do this right now." " No, Addison." "Stop." "Just stop." "All right?" "Will you sit down, please?" "I've tried not to push." "I've given you plenty of space and plenty of time, but-- but this is enough." "There's a limit to my patience, because I'm understanding, but I am not a saint." "(The Howls' "All" playing)" "(Henry crying over monitor)" "♪ Swallowed... ♪" "Really?" "So now you're gonna use Henry as an excuse?" "♪ by the devil's ♪" "♪ eyes ♪" "♪ cry all... ♪" "Violet." "What are you doing here?" "Oh, just cleaning up Pete's locker." "Just need a minute." "♪ ..." "lost ♪" "(Scoffs)" "(Clear throat)" "The other half of your housewarming gift." "(Laughs)" "Cooper forgot." " Thanks." " It's tea." "Oh, you look exhausted." "Cooper tells me that you've been working a lot." "I bet that's not all he tells you." "I am pretty sure you knew I was knocked up before I did." "Anyway, if the hospital is short-staffed, it is my job to pitch in." "It's also your job to hire someone." "It's okay." "You can replace Pete." "♪ Ooh ♪" "♪ ooh, ooh ♪" "Ever since..." "You know, after I was raped... he was always there for me." "Here at the hospital, Pete... was like my work husband." "You know, if he was getting a cup of coffee for himself, he'd get one for me." "He'd wait the extra ten minutes it took me to sign off the ER board so we could eat lunch together." "He looked out for me." "I miss that." "I miss him." "I can't imagine what this feels like for you." "Oh, I'm okay." "I mean, I have to be, because I have a little boy at home who doesn't know where his father is." "He keeps asking me, and I keep coming up with new ways of explaining it," "It likes I'm living with someone with dementia." "(Laughs) I can't even tell you how many times I've told him, and... and every time, it feels like I'm lying, because I don't understand it myself." "And Lucas is just a 3-year-old boy... (Crying) who wants to know when he's gonna see his father again." "♪" "Hey, if you kill someone, how do you make it right?" "I-I didn't kill Pete, obviously." "This is a-- this is a hypothetical." "Uh..." "Well, in AA, making amends is essential." "But sometimes the other party is gone or they refuse to forgive us, so we practice living amends." "What is that?" "How do you do that?" "Uh, well, you live the best life that you can, do good where you can, help people when you can, be of service, try to save lives." "You... can't change what you've done, but you can change who you are and improve your life." "It's hard to explain why living amends work, but they do." "Somehow they just... set you free." "♪" "♪ all ♪" "♪ yeah, all ♪" "♪ oh, all ♪" "♪ is not ♪" "♪ lost ♪" "Hey, Sam." "Hey, man." "Listen, I, uh, sorry about your friend Mark." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Hell of a week." "Addison's taking it pretty hard." "She'll be upset for a while." "No, of course." "I get that, but, uh, she won't talk to me about it, so..." "I mean, you were all friends back in the day." "Is that what she said?" "We were all friends?" "Yeah." "Listen, I-I know this might sound a little weird, but can you..." "Can you help me out here?" "What do you want me to do?" "Talk to her." "♪" "That's not my job anymore, man." "♪" "(Mouths word)" "(Voice breaking) I lie in bed all day, just waiting for something to change, hoping that it's not real." "(Crying) He was 26 years old." "He was my boy." "He's my only child." "(Sighs)" "The best thing I've ever done with my life... is gone." "(Sobs and sighs)" "(People speaking indistinctly)" "Hey." "Are you doing okay?" "About Mark?" "No." "Between him and Pete, I'm sad all the time, and it's probably not the best thing to be hiding in the bathroom crying." "So don't hide." "Just talk about it." "Are you saying I can talk to you?" "I'm saying you could talk... to your boyfriend about it." "Really, Sam?" "Look, not telling Jake about Mark," "Addison, that's-- that's a problem." "Okay." "That is none of your business." "You're right." "It isn't any of my business," " but Jake is making it my business." " What?" "You keep doing the same thing over and over and over." "Okay, we both screwed up our relationships, Sam." "Yes, we both have screwed up all of our relationships, which is why I'm telling you maybe you should do this one differently." "Are you doing it differently?" "I'm" "All right." "Charlotte." "Charlotte." "(Sniffles) What?" "What?" "What are you doing here?" "No, I get to ask the questions in this particular situation." "(Groans) My pregnant wife doesn't come home?" "Oh, you knew I was working." "Yes, I did, which is why when you didn't answer my texts," "I called the admit desk every hour to make sure someone had seen you alive." "Only half an hour ago, nobody could find you, so I made them search, and then I ran over here, wondering if you were dead." " (Groans)" " What?" "What is it?" "It's my feet." "It's just these damn shoes." "I'm fine." "You're not fine." "Charlotte!" "You are not fine." "Do you know that Pete went running, and no one could find him, and he was dead, that you were here late one night and somebody attacked you in your own office?" "And I'm supposed to protect you." "I'm supposed to protect our children." "That is my job." "And I can't do it if you're not gonna let me." "You are not fine, so I'm not fine." "Okay, look, I know you don't want to talk about this anymore, and if you don't want to get the biopsy done here, there are other doctors I can refer you to." "My father had prostate cancer." "Yeah, I know." "Your, uh, your family history was one of the reasons, why I" "I ran the test." " But that doesn't necessarily" " My father had prostate cancer." "That's not what he died from." "It changed him." "From the moment he was diagnosed, my father was a dead man walking." "And he mourned his death for years." "He gave up." "It was the most depressing thing I'd ever seen, and..." "I don't want that to happen to me." " It won't." " You don't know that." " I do know that." " No, you don't." "(Adam) I guess I never saw it before." "I mean, Ricky's doing great." "I'm doing great." "I went to computer school, changed my life." "It's different." "I mean, I'm not the same guy I was before." "But you're obviously still carrying around what you did." "Sure, but, you know, I'm starting to feel so much better." "Well, it's a little soon for that." "Don't you think?" " But you said that" " I mean, have you ever really-- thought about the man that you shot?" "What if he had a family?" "What if he had a son?" "A son who doesn't understand why his father left and is never coming home." "You may have ruined a family, Adam." "What kind of person can walk around with that for ten years and feel okay?" "(Crying) Oh, God." "I'm sorry." "Oh, God." "I'm so sorry." "I'm so sorry, Adam." "I'm so sorry." "That was unprofessional." "I apologize." "No." "No, you were right." "You're right." "No, I wasn't." "If I'm a murderer, I gotta know." "No, you don't have to." "There is a reason that you never tried to find out." "Okay?" "This is my stuff." "I'm going through something, and I-- and I lost sight of... (Clears throat) I let my needs blend with yours, and-- and that was wrong." "I was wrong." "Adam, I-I need you to see a new therapist." "What?" "I-I-I will" " I'll give you some names, people I recommend, but I cannot see you anymore." "I'm not helping you." "Nobody can help me." "If I killed him, I mean, what do I do?" "What can I do?" "You are already doing it." "You are living your life differently, better." "You are living your amends, being a better person, and that will set you free." "Last month..." "Alice passed. (Sighs)" "She was my whole world." "I didn't know what to do." "For 50 years, this woman took care of me, and then suddenly..." "(Makes whooshing sound)" "Anyway, I, uh..." "I called Jimmy, and the first thing he said to me was..." ""I really love you, dad, and I'll be there tonight."" "He hadn't said he loved me since he was a little boy." "And over the past month, we've gotten closer." "I mean, he has become a phenomenal young man." "I know I'm supposed to be grieving, but, uh..." "I got my son back." "And maybe I shouldn't say it, but..." "I'm happy." "I'm happy." "Hey." "(Knock on door)" "I brought this for you." "You, uh, you drink tea, not coffee, right?" "Yeah." "Thanks." "How are you?" "Are you, uh, you okay?" "Hey." "(Lowered voice) What are you, uh, what are you doing here?" "(Lowered voice) What am I doing here?" "What are you doing here?" " I told you I needed to change times." " And I told you I couldn't." "This is supposed to be my time." "Hello?" "Guys?" "What's going on here?" "I believe I owe you this for the babysitting club that you organized." "What are you talking about?" "Sam and Jake outed you." "I have to admit, I thought it was a little odd that everyone kept bringing me tea." "I said, "bring her tea or something."" "I did not think they would be so literal." "Sheldon brought me iced tea." "Unfortunately, I hate iced tea." "(Chuckles)" "Violet." "In the beginning, everyone's there." "But people forget." "You know, life goes on, or it goes on for everyone else even if it's not going on for you." " I just wanted to make sure that" " Thank you." "(Sighs)" "I miss Pete." "I know." "Everything is changing." "I know." "I hired a new ER doc today." "Really?" "And in an effort to be slightly less... difficult, here's the deal" "I will allow you to talk to my belly once-- once a day." "Okay?" " Don't be weird." " I won't." "And don't massage the belly or rub it or kiss it like I'm some kind of host or something." "Okay." " I swear to God, if you sing" " Charlotte." "Hi." "I cannot wait to meet you guys." "Know that your dad will always be there for you no matter what and please know you will always, always, always be loved." "(Kisses)" "I said no kissing." "All right, I'm here." "What's so important that you had to see me in person?" "You want a drink?" "No." "I want to know why you were such an ass yesterday." "Sorry." "I'm sorry." "All right?" "My relationships-- I've" " I've screwed them all up." "You know, I got in my own way," "I don't want to be the guy that you're talking about when you're in bed with the next guy." "The next guy?" "(Scoffs)" "What, did you already pick him out for me?" "No." "No." "No." "No." "That's-- that's not what I meant." "Then what did you mean?" "♪" "Hey." "Hey." "Hey." "I like you." "Okay?" "I like you." "("Ordinary World" playing)" "(Man) ♪ Came in from a rainy Thursday ♪" "♪ on the avenue ♪" "♪ I thought I heard you talking softly ♪" "I'd like to talk now." "Can we do that?" "♪ I turned on the lights, the TV ♪" "♪ and the radio ♪" "I loved Mark Sloan." "And it happened when I was still married to Derek, his best friend." "I cheated on my husband with Mark." "He got me pregnant-- the one time I ever was or ever will be pregnant." "And I didn't" "I-I couldn't keep it." "I just, uh, at the time, with him being the father," "I just couldn't, you know, which is karma for this awful thing I did to my husband, who trusted me." "My past is ugly." "It's messy and unflattering, and..." "So if you don't think you can trust me anymore or" "You think I'm a horrible person because I'm a cheater..." "If you want to go, you should... go" "But do it now because I won't get any sleep, wondering if you're gonna do it in the morning or in a week or... ♪" "I'm, uh... (Clears throat)" "I'm processing, so just give me a minute here." "Um... ♪" "First of all, thank you for telling me the truth." "I know that was hard." "Second, you are not a cheater." "You are a person who once cheated, and there's a difference." "The third thing I want to say is that, uh... (Sighs)" "I'm sorry." "You're sorry?" "A man you loved... died." "♪" "I'm sorry for your loss." "♪ ...when I need you most?" "♪" "♪ Gone away ♪" "♪ I won't cry for yesterday ♪" "♪ There's an ordinary world ♪" "♪ somehow I have to find ♪" "I am a therapist, so I am supposed to know how these things work." "I've counseled people through the five stages of grief." "You wish you could just go down the list, check him off, know what's coming next, but, uh, they don't really come in any particular order." "Some people never experience any of them." "Some people get stuck in one for a long time." "♪ on the avenue ♪" "(Sighs)" "My son is 3, and he doesn't understand what's going on." "Intellectually, I get that, but every time he asks, "where's daddy?"" "I have to remember to breathe." "It's always the same thing." "I tuck him in." "I say "I love you," he says, "I love you,"" "and then he says "where's daddy?" And I tell him again." "I'd almost gotten used to it." "But last night was different." "♪ ...that I recognize ♪" "Here you go, buddy." "Monkey man will keep you safe." "(Baby-talk voice) Snuggle." "Snuggle." "Snuggle." "(Normal voice) I love you." "I love you, too, mommy." "♪ ..." "I have to find ♪" "I love you, too, daddy." "♪" "(Violet) My son has reached acceptance." "He knows his father's never coming back... and it breaks my heart." "(Woman) ♪ Every one ♪" "♪ I don't cry for yesterday ♪" "♪ There's an ordinary world ♪" "♪ I will learn to survive ♪"