"¶ Someone once told me the grass is much greener ¶" "¶ On the other side. ¶" "¶ Well, I paid a visit ¶" "¶ While it's possible I missed it ¶" "¶ It seemed different yet exactly the same ¶" "¶ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ¶" "¶ Till further notice ¶" "¶ Till further notice ¶" "¶ I'm in between ¶" "¶ I'm in between ¶" "¶ From where I'm standing ¶" "¶ From where I'm standing ¶" "¶ My grass is green. ¶" "¶ Someone once told me the grass is much greener ¶" "¶ On the other side. ¶" "Captioningsponsoredby THE U.S.DEPARTMENTOF EDUCATION andNICKELODEON" "( siren blaring )" "( muffled complaining )" "( more muffled complaining )" "Mumma's in pain!" "Somebody do something!" "Now!" "Do you hear me?" "!" "Now!" "Relax, Courtney..." "I think she just wants her pillows fluffed." "That was going to be my second guess." "I hope these cheer you up, Mrs. Gripling." "( muffled expression of thanks )" "That's so sweet of you, Ginger." "Nothing says "Sorry about the botched plastic surgery"" "like daisies and pink rosebuds." "I can't believe they bungled a simple facelift." "Actually, the facelift isn't the problem;" "it's the infection from the facelift that we got to keep an eye on." "But she's going to be just fine." "Well, Mumma, I hope you've learned your lesson." "There's just no trusting a medical facility called "Same Day Nip and Tuck."" "Okay, girls, visiting hours are over." "Oh, please... just two more minutes?" "All right..." "but only two." "Bye, Mrs. Gripling." "( Claire mumbles good-bye )" "Hey, Ging, I'm almost finished with my shift." "Got to run some errands." "Want to come with?" "Oh... do you really need me to?" "I wanted to meet up with Dodie and Macie." "Oh, well..." "I just feel like we've been doing that whole "two ships passing in the night" thing lately." "( sighs )" "All right." "Just be home by 6:30." "Thanks, Mom." "( Claire shrieks )" "You better come quick, Mrs. Foutley." "Now she's in pain." "What happened?" "She just found out this isn't a private room." "( muffled screams )" "One twenty-two." "Any faster and he's going to blow." "( man groaning )" "( siren wailing in background )" "Talk about your visual hyperbole." "It's only a plastic surgery show, for cryin' out loud." "Yeah, and what's with the weird camera angles and choppy editing?" "It's like they're trying to create the illusion of tension when he's probably just going in for a nose job." "Right on, Hoods." "Don't they know we're the irony generation?" "Yeah, nothing impresses us." "TV ANNOUNCER:" "Today on Ultra Plastic Surgery, chin implants." "Chin implants?" "!" "Chin implants?" "!" "Yes, I have to say chin implants are very popular right now." "And, as you know, the chin makes the man... especially mine." "( voice echoing )" "I could be wrong here, Hoods, but my chin isn't a whole lot like Dr. Juan's." "Should I be worried?" "Who cares?" "!" "They're bringing out the surgical drill!" "( man yelling in pain )" "This is guaranteed to tighten the pores and moisturize the skin." "Plus, if we get hungry, all we need are some chips and we've got ourselves a snack." "COURTNEY:" "So you're saying they don't grow frozen vegetables in frozen soil, Mrs. Foutley?" "They grow them in regular soil, thentheyfreezethem." "Oh..." "Oh, hi, Ginger!" "( awkwardly ):" "Oh..." "Hey, Courtney." "You know, I don't always look like this." "Did you go to the store with my mom?" "Mm-hmm." "Visiting hours were over and Miranda had a clarinet lesson and, well, I didn't want to go home, so I went grocery shopping with your mother!" "And I was a big help, wasn't I?" "You sure were." "Courtney here stuck her hand all the way into the back of the freezer to get the last bag of succotash." "Well..." "I would've gone with you, Mom." "You should've asked." "I did." "But you said you had something to do with Dodie and Macie." "Only avocado masks-- no biggie." "I must say, Ginger, you missed out on tremendous fun." "Now I know why they call them supermarkets." "( car horn toots )" "Oh, Winston's here already?" "Oh, pooh." "Now I won't get to put away the groceries." "Oh, well, maybe next time." "Ta-ta, everyone!" "You know, girls, it's like I've got a sixth sense." "Hope everyone likes jalapeño and black bean corn chips." "BLAKE:" "I don't suppose you gents happened to catch yesterday's episode of UltraPlasticSurgery?" "Listen, Blakey, we're the ones with the autographed picture of Dr. Juan, not you." "In other words, we never miss it." "It's true, of course." "The chin does, indeed, make the man." "In fact, Wall Street and Washington, D.C., have never been without a Gripling chin." "And it's one I shall undoubtedly inherit." "My father has it..." "his father had it... his father's father had it." "Since when is a strong chin a surefire sign of success?" "Yeah... you know, unless you call being able to keep a turtleneck from riding up "success."" "Well, if you don't believe me, take a stroll over to the nearest newsstand and see what kind of chins land on the covers of important news and business weeklies." "Yeah, right." "Like I got the time." "I see your point... or, perhaps, the lack of one?" "Don't let him get to you, Carl." "It's Blake, for cryin' out loud." "Carl?" "CARL:" "I don't know... maybe Gripling's on to something." "Ha!" "That's totally lame." "You rule Lucky Elementary." "It's written all over the boy's bathroom." "That's 'cause we wrote it." "Anyway..." "sure, I rule now." "But what about down the road?" "Say when Gripling finally sprouts that chin he's been yapping about?" "Mmm, I don't know, Carl." "If you get a chin implant, you'll look... different." "You'd get used to it." "No... no, I wouldn't, Carl." "I'm totally, like, a creature of habit." "My Mom uses 2% low-fat milk instead of 1%, and I spaz." "I'm talkin' ugly, Carl, 'cause I can taste the difference." "My mind's made up, Hoods." "I'm going to do it." "Carl, didn't you hear me?" "I said I can taste the difference!" "I really want to thank you for sticking by me in my hour of need, Ginger." "Hospitals are incredibly upsetting." "( man coughing violently )" "Do there have to be so many sick people?" "Even Miranda wouldn't come with me, and she loves misery." "It's no big deal." "Macie had band practice and Dodie's at a dentist appointment." "I'll catch up with them later." "Well... ( gasps )" "What the...?" "!" "Mumma?" "Oh!" "Where is she?" "Tell me the truth!" "Tell me the truth!" "Yikes, Courtney." "You got to stop going off the deep end." "Your mother's fine." "A private room finally opened up in the Sheldrake Pavilion." "We got her all nicely settled in." "Oh, how much longer does she have to be in the hospital anyway?" "The infection's clearing up nicely, so I'd say only a few more days." "Uh!" "A few more days!" "But that's an eternity!" "( sobbing )" "Aw, Courtney, I know it's been really tough having your mom in the hospital." "Sure... it'd be hard on anyone." "You have no idea!" "time with Winston, and Daddy's away on business." "I've been home alone." "Mom, since Mrs. Gripling will only be in the hospital a few more days, you think maybe Courtney could stay with us?" "Fine by me, kiddo-- it's your call." "I got to run." "They're posting the results of this month's birth pool and I'm in for a fiver." "See you later." "Ginger, you'd really do that for me?" "Sure, but I have to warn you, things'll be pretty basic." "Perfect!" "Simplicity is very "in" right now." "And I promise to do my fair share." "I don't want to be a burden to you and Mumma..." "I..." "I mean, your Mumma... mother." "Well, you know what I mean." "Well, I'd better go get Maid started on packing." "with your generous spirit, Ginger... letting Courtney stay with you and all... especially after Camp Caprice, where she was clingy, needy... a total deadweight." "And those were her positive qualities." "Guys, you should've seen her when she got the news her mom had to stay in the hospital a few more days." "She was a wreck." "Besides, she promised she'd be helpful." "Well, there's "helpful," and then there's "Courtney helpful."" "MACIE:" "Right... like reorganizing your closet without asking." "That'd be "Courtney helpful."" "She wouldn't do that." "Not alone." "She'd have Miranda helping her." "And don't forget Mipsy and Lanie." "Hope she doesn't give away any of your favorites." "Oh, like the pants I gave you last Christmas!" "That's not going to happen!" "Hey, where're you going?" "Just... you know, to... to make sure." "I want the surgery done as soon as possible, and since you're the only surgeon I know..." "Well, Carl, I should tell you that you will need a parent's signature to have this kind of surgery done." "A loophole!" "All right!" "Tough luck, Carl." "What?" "Drag the Momster into this?" "Look, Dr. Dave, this is totally a guy thing." "The chin makes the man, remember?" "Uh, Carl, I'm sorry, but the law is the law." "Okay, well..." "I hear they got clinics that'll do this sort of thing without asking a whole lot of questions." "Hmm, I... uh, don't like the sound of that at all." "Hmm... didn't think you would." "Eh... all right." "I'll do the surgery." "But, uh, you've got to do something for me first." "Uh, way ahead of you, Dr. Dave." "This spreadsheet outlines my 40-year installment plan." "Course, you're going to be real old when you get the last payment and all, but..." "No, no, not that at all." "You see, I think it's important for the patient to try out what their new "look" will be like, you see?" "Just so that they're absolutely certain that this is what they want." "Come again?" "Well, let me put it this way, Carl:" "you wouldn't buy a car without taking it for a spin first, would you?" "They're not culottes, okay?" "They're cargo shorts, so everybody can just...!" "( kids laughing )" "COURTNEY:" "Mrs. Foutley!" "Hey, Ging, you're just in time." "( proudly ):" "I'm going to cook the spaghettini." "But I usually do it-- well, I mean, not lately, but..." "Oh, I insist." "After all, I'm the guest, and I want to do my fair share." "And you've been very helpful, Courtney." "She alphabetized the spice rack." "I tell you, there'll be no more hunting around for that cream of tartar." "You got anything that looks like a chin, Lola?" "What for?" "Uh... school project." "Like I believe that for one minute." "Try the tool drawer." "I think you'll find some of my old heel guards in there." "( clanking )" "Perfect... thanks." "Don't go far-- we're eating in five." "Actually, Mrs. Foutley, it takes eight minutes for the pasta to cook." "So we'll have it a little extra..." ""al dente."" "Who's he?" "( both giggle )" "That's my joke." "( giggling )" "I know, your mother told me, and it's so funny." "( sighs )" "You know, I'm doing so well with dinner," "I want to make breakfast, too." "No, I'll make breakfast." "Don't be ridiculous, Ginger." "I'll do it." "No, I will." "No, no, I will." "You know, the dinner dishes are still up for grabs." "Then I'll do them." "No, I'll do them." "No, I'll do them." "I'll do it." "I'll do them." "( buzzing )" "( gasps )" "( shuts off alarm )" "Oh, ahh!" "( perkily ):" "Morning, sleepyhead." "What time did you get up?" "5:30-- can you believe it?" "Up with the pheasants." "You mean, the chickens." "Those, too!" "I guess you made breakfast for my mom." "And it was so easy." "All I had to do was put the frozen waffle in the toaster, then depress the button." "Your mother was thrilled!" "Are you always cheerful in the morning?" "Yes." "Oh, waffle?" "( groans ):" "No, thanks." "I'll get something at school." "LOIS:" "Over my dead body, he's getting a chin implant!" "Do you hear?" "Dead!" "In the ground, six feet under, cold!" "Yeah, well, I... uh..." "Dave, don't tell me you didn't tell him that?" "!" "Look, let me clue you in on Carl." "You've got to nip stuff like this in the bud." "Trust me..." "you give him an inch, the next thing you know, you're out one mile." "So, uh... what did you tell him?" "Oh, uh, I thought the better way to go was to... ( chuckles ):" "well, to have him walk around with a fake chin on for a while." "( laughs nervously)" "That explains the heel guard." "I think he'll learn pretty quickly that the chin doesn't make the man and lose all interest in the surgery." "Of course, I..." "I hope I didn't step out of line by not consulting you first, Lois." "No, not at all, and it's a smart move, Dave." "Course, it remains to be seen if it's smart enough." "You should really think about settling down and having some kids of your own." "You'd be good at it." "You know, lately I have been thinking of doing just that." "Actually, I was wondering if... ( beeper goes off )" "Oh, sorry, Dave." "Gallbladder on 12-- got to go." "Right..." "Yes, uh, that'd be fine, too." "( talking quietly )" "CARL:" "Come on, Hurry up." "I can hear them outside." "Hold on, I've got to cover it with makeup so it looks natural." "Good thing you and my mom have the same skin tone." "CARL:" "Make sure to blend." "I hear it's important." "Okay, okay." "( gasps )" "Well?" "It'll never work." "Whoa, are you kidding?" "Even I'm intimidated, and it's my chin." "Grab your clipboard and start sending them in, Hoods, one by one." "( sighs )" "Surprise, Mom, I brought you... a glazed donut." "Would you look at this hair of yours hanging in your face?" "What am I going to do with you-- Hey, Ging!" "Hi, Ginger!" "Hey, Courtney's got good news, and she brought some white chocolate- dipped biscotti." "( beeper goes off )" "Oh, wouldn't you know it?" "Sorry, girls, got to run." "Uh, Ging, did you need me for anything?" "( moodily):" "No, not really." "Okay." "I'll see you later, then." "COURTNEY:" "Mumma's being released from the hospital." "Oh, well, guess that means you'll be heading home." "Well, not exactly-- as it turns out, she needs to get away to recuperate, so she'll be jetting off to a spa in New Mexico and I, of course, can't go with her" "because I'd miss too much school." "So you're saying...?" "I just asked your mother, and she said" "I can stay until Mumma gets back-- if it's okay with you, that is-- and I'm sure it is?" "Well... what if it isn't?" "( gasps )" "Gin-Ginger, are you saying "no"?" "Yes." "( laughs )" "I'm confused-- is it "yes" or "no"?" "It's "yes"..." "I'm saying "no."" "( gasps )" "But Ginger..." "I said "No!"" "( groans )" "You're... you're..." "Under Terrence's name, put down that the chin rendered him unable to form complete sentences." "Who's next?" "Blake's the last one." "Then, by all means, show the Gripling lad in." "Next!" "Hi, Blake, nice espadrilles." "Why, thank you, old man." "Just doing my part for "Casual Fridays."" "Now, what's all this folderol about...?" "F-Foutley?" "Gripling?" "What's that on your chin?" "A chin." "Duh." "I'm thinking of having one of these babies installed permanently, and I just wanted to see how it might sit with some people." "Well, i-it's having n-no effect on me whatsoever." "Boy, it's sure not looking that way, Blakey." "Initial denial, undermined by extreme spazzing." "It's... it's... ( screaming ):" "It's not natural, I say!" "( screams )" "( sighs )" "Well, that's it." "With one of these puppies," "I'm going to rule for sure and rule for good." "( cackles )" "( student screams )" "But I don't understand." "Courtney was going to stay on with us." "What happened?" "Well, she just couldn't." "Gee, I was even going to pick up her favorite TV dinner, turkey breast stir-fry." "So... she didn't even say why?" "( snapping ):" "No, she didn't say why." "Is that okay?" "I mean, if she doesn't stay?" "Think you'll be all right with just me again?" "( groans )" "Boy, when those hormones kick in, they really kick in." "Boy, oh boy, I can't wait to have a permanent one put in." "Hey, think Dr. Dave'll be able to do it today?" "'Cause I'd like to take over the world by Tuesday, if possible." "Wow, Carl, you're scaring everyone off." "Yep." "This chin is mighty powerful." "You don't think it's too powerful, do you?" "I mean, everyone was screaming and running off at school, too." "But... it's what you wanted." "Oh, but not exactly." "The chin is supposed to be "me" bait." "They scream and run off, and I can kiss the Carl dynasty good-bye." "Well... okay, so maybe your chin can front for you." "You know, like, it does the talking, but they're listening to you?" "But... what if it doesn't end there?" "What if it takes over?" "I may rule the world, but my chin'll rule me." "Creepy!" "Oh, and every time you look down to see if your shoes are tied?" "There it'll be... ( gasps )" "HOODSEY:" "Staring back up at you." "( gasping )" "Get it off me, Hoods." "Get it off me!" "( shouts )" "( groans with effort )" "It's stuck, Carl!" "We've got to find Dr. Dave!" "I've got to get me a "chin"-ectomy-- pronto!" "( groans )" "( crunches )" "( groans )" "Ginger, will you be in this bad mood for much longer?" "Because I feel like I'm doing homework with my mother." "Mother-- why do you say "mother"?" "No reason, just that she hates it when I turn the pages too loudly." "You know, it suddenly hit me." "Homework may be called "homework"" "for a reason." "Yeah, I agree." "Bye, Ginger." "Guys... ( doorbell rings )" "Um... hope I'm not bothering you, Ginger, but I do need to pick up my things." "You're not bothering me." "You want a soda or something?" "Mmm, no, thank you." "I don't want to be a burden in any way." "You're not being a burden, okay?" "I mean, it was nice having you here, but..." "I don't need an explanation." "Anyway, it turns out" "Mumma's canceled her trip to New Mexico." "Oh, hey, that's great." "COURTNEY:" "I admit, I had to work the pity thing a bit, but she gave in." "Sometimes she gets caught up in herself and needs to be reminded she has children." "Yeah, I guess that can happen." "I mean, I don't want her around all the time, but I..." "Well, here I am, running on and on, when I came by to pick up my things." "I mean, two people shouldn't speak at all when they're fighting." "Hey, uh, Courtney... you know... someday I'm going to want to talk to you about all this, just not right now." "Even though I don't understand," "I'll say I do... just to keep the lines of communication open." "Thanks... you didn't really have to beg your mom to stay, did you?" "Well, I may have exaggerated a little." "( chuckles )" "So, uh... you took the bus home, then you took it back here so we could drive home together?" "Yeah." "That's okay, isn't it?" "Sure." "I'm going to go get a soda, so don't leave without me, okay?" "I won't." "I'll be right here when you get back." "You want one?" "My treat." "Okay." "Uh, diet anything." "Lola." "Carl." "Hoodsey." "Hi, Mrs. Foutley." "Stick around for half an hour" "I'll give you a ride home." "No, thanks, we're trying to support public transportation." "May the chin never rise to haunt me." "Better put a rock on top, just in case." "You know, I'm sure I've learned a very valuable lesson here, Hoods." "Like, "Be careful what you wish for,"" "or "Be happy with what you got."" "Uh-huh." "Think it'll stick?" "Not a chance." "Captioningsponsoredby THE U.S.DEPARTMENTOF EDUCATION andNICKELODEON" "Captioned by MediaAccessGroupatWGBH  access.wgbh.org" "DR. DAVE:" "Right... yes, uh, that'd be fine, too."