"[Remote clicks] [Upbeat music plays]" "♪ I don't care what you say!" "♪" "♪ I'm gonna do what I want all day!" "♪" "♪ I'm the king of the world!" "♪" "♪ I'm the king of the world!" "♪" "♪ I'm the king of the world!" "♪" "♪ I'm the king of the world!" "♪" "♪ I'm the king of the world!" "♪" "♪ I'm the king of the world!" "♪" "[Romantic music]" "Ms. Baker:" "And after your done with your cards, you know, you give them to a special someone you like." "Or it could just be a friend, too." "No presh." "[Chuckles] You guys are young, and that's, uh ... ugh, that's your Valentine." "It's your day to appreciate each other." "Hey, Jeff." "Jeff, look." ""He loves love."" "I love love." "[Giggles]" "[Gasps]" "[Grunts]" "[Sighs]" "There, fixed it." "[Grunting]" "Hey, guys, keep it down, please." "Ms. Baker!" "Who's your Valentime?" "Oh, uh, it's all of you guys." "You guys are all of my Valentines." "We already all have Valentimes." "You got to have a real Valentime, too, like a grown up." "Is it Mr. Reese?" "[Laughter] Ms. Baker:" "Okay, guys, come on." "Is it no one?" "All:" "Ooh!" "Who cares if Ms. Baker doesn't have a boyfriend?" " She's fine on her own." " Uh, Chel..." "Chelsea." "I see her all the time at the Fryer's Cinnapuffs." "Almost every week." "We go there after soccer, and I see Ms. Baker there all alone." " Thank you. [Sighs]" " Totally by herself, and she's okay." " She's just fine." " Hmm." "Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen her" " with anybody else before." " Hmm..." "Quiet, class." "It's Sumo's turn now." "Uh, I brought this." "I found it." " [Gasps] Whoa." " Whoa." "Hmm." "Interesting take, Sumo." "Instead of a normal journal entry, you manifest this heartbreaking meditation on futility." "Yeah, he's really smashed in there." "You know, I can't help but be reminded of T.S. Eliot's "The Wasteland."" ""And I will show you fear in a handful of dust."" " Cool." " Um, Mr. Mozer, are we gonna do anything for Valentine's Day?" "Valentine's Day?" "It's not Valentine... oh." "Oh, it is..." "Okay, uh, why don't we just have a discussion about how maybe we don't need big greeting-card companies telling us when we should and should not express our love, and through what?" "The power of consumerism?" " Duncan's mom made cupcakes." " Oh, cupcakes." " Mmm, oh." " Ooh, chocolate." "Mmm." "[Sighs]" "Hmm?" "What?" " How'd this get in ..." " Ms. Baker!" "[Screams] Come over for dinner!" "Clarence!" "What are you doing?" "It's Valentime's." "You can't just have a sad microwave eat-it-over-the-sink dinner." "Come to my house instead." " What?" "No." " If you come, you might get hit by Cupid's arrow." "[Whispering] I found you an amazing man." " What?" "Who?" " Only the most handsomest, nicest, rich man you'll ever meet." "[Sighs] Listen, Clarence, I'm working on myself right now." " When will you be done?" " It doesn't work like that." "Will you be done working in time for dinner tonight?" "[Sighs]" "[Tires screeching] See you tonight!" "[Imitates static] Come in, Sumo." "[School bell rings]" "Male voice:" "And I will show you something different." "From either your shadow at morning, striding behind you..." "Clarence:" "Sumo, do you read me?" "What's up, man?" " Do you know of any amazing men?" " Uh..." "[Jazz music plays]" "[Chuckles]" "Ahh ..." "[Doorbell rings]" "Huh?" "Uh, did you order pizza already?" "What?" "No." "Oh." "Ms. Baker." "I mean, Melanie." "What brings you here?" "Is ... is Clarence in trouble?" "Mom, Ms. Baker's coming over for dinner!" "Oh, Ms. Baker." "You look great." "Clarence, I thought you were supposed to be at Sumo's." "Holy smokes." "I did not know we were having company tonight." " Why is it so dark in here?" " Well, I-I hope I'm not imposing." "No!" "No, no, no, no, no." "Please, come in." "We're just ... we'll just turn on these darn lights." "[Laughs] Okay." "Oh, my gosh, you're in my house." "I'll show you around." "Don't be scared." "It's not so different from school." "[Chuckles] This is a coffee table." "It's kind of like a desk, um, but for, like, watching TV and putting your feet on." "And this is my TV." "Sometimes I watch it instead of doing my homework." "Sorry." "[Gasps] Oh, my gosh." "Looks like Mozer got cold feet." "Mr. Chicken to Rooster Boy." "Do you read me?" "Cue the backup." "Copy that." "Hey." "Come on." "[Doorbell rings]" "Sumo, abort backup!" "Abort!" "Abort!" "Abort!" "Hey, get out of here." "Your prince has arrived." "[Sighs]" "[Hums]" " Hi, Mr. Mozer!" " Howdy, Clarence." "Thanks so much for having me over." "Hey, I heard somebody likes a certain special TV show." "Clarence: [Gasps] Oh, my gosh, "The Mmms."" "You're a perfect man." "Take my hand." "Mr. Mozer, I want you to meet Ms. Baker." " Oh, hi." " Oh." " Nice to meet you, yes." " I think I recognize you from the Common Curriculum Conference." " Oh, you were there?" " Of course." "I remember you asked an insightful question about ..." "Oh, oh, oh, oh." "About those furlough days." "Right!" "Everyone was thinking it, and you just said it!" "[Laughs] Yeah, well, what were they thinking?" "Sometime you just got to teach 'em." "[Both laugh]" "You got to ..." "You got to teach them, yeah." "It's working." "[Sighs]" "Oh, boy. [Sniffs] Ugh, no, that's not good." "Clarence:" "Okay, Ms. Baker." "You sit over here, and, Mr. Mozer, you sit right here." "Oh, yeah, great." "[Chuckles]" "[Clears throat]" "[Chuckles]" "[Chuckles]" "Ah, kids, right?" "[Laughs]" "Oh, man, we're in luck." "I found an extra seat." "So good to have you guys over for dinner." "I managed to, uh, scrounge something up for us." " I'm starting to get the feeling that ..." " Drinks for the lady!" "Da, da, da, da!" "Get a little juice in here." "So, Mr. Mozer, looks like you're really hitting it off" " with your Valentime's date." " Oh, uh, thank you." "Wait." "Date?" "[Dramatic music]" "Date?" "Date?" "These drinks are pretty good, huh?" "Date?" "[Bell tolls]" "[Wailing]" " Date?" "Date?" "Date?" " Uh, Craig?" " Yes!" "The drinks are very good!" " Oh, wow." "Uh, you know, you really can't force these Valentine's things." "It was only when I really stopped looking, you know, that I got in a good enough place where Chad and I just found each other naturally." "Huh?" "Oh, oh, no, no." " We're ..." "We're not ..." " No, no, not us." "No." "Oh, it's true, man." "Oh, I love the single life." "Uh, but finding Mary was the best thing that ever happened to me." "[Both chuckle]" " Yeah..." " Uh..." "Hmm." "Sumo, a word." "Kkk!" "What are we gonna do?" "Mom and Chad are hogging all the love." "Uh, on it." "[Tearing, thud] What?" "Ow!" "Mar." "Come on, Chad." "I was just playing." "Kkk!" "Now we got to spice things up." " Time for the love potion." " Copy that." "Okay, time to get to know each other." "Starting with Ms. Baker." "Ms. Baker writes, "I'm a simple, small-town girl with big-time, uh, ambitions."" "Is that my Aber-Dating profile?" "!" "Yep." "We found Mr. Mozer's, too, but his was so boring." "[Groans] I can't believe this is happening." "I love Western-style barbecue." "Oh, I like that." "Oh, Western style's underrated." "Uh, Clarence, I think that's enough of that, all right?" "[Chuckles]" "Wait, this other stuff is also kind of boring." " Give it ..." "Clarence." " Hello." " C-Clarence!" " Ms. Baker, I'm trying to read it." "That stuff is really personal." "Let's see here." "We got biggest fears." "Are you scared of dying alone?" "[Chuckles]" "[Clears throat, clicks tongue]" "[Gasps] Hmm." "Oh, my." "It is time for the main course." "Uh..." "[Sighs]" "♪ Do, do, do, do, do ♪" "Oh, here we go." "[Grunts]" "Here we go." " Ms. Baker." " Oh." "[Humming]" "Sprinkle this." "Eh, a little more." "Mr. Mozer, can you pass this to Ms. Baker, please?" " Oh, uh, sure." " Ooh, yes, thank you." " Uh, mmm, yummy." " Wow, great concept." "Can't wait to try it." "Oh, Craig, you don't have to do ..." "The little guy went through the trouble, so..." "[Gulps]" "[Gagging]" "[Gags]" "[Spits]" "Ew!" "Ew!" "Ew!" "Ew!" "Ew!" "Ew!" "I'm sorry, Melanie!" "Please come back." "[Screams] We got to rub some club soda on that dre..." " I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" " Ms. Baker, I know you're not at school, but you got to try and fall in love!" "Ugh!" "I got to get out of here." "[Engine starts] Uh, you know, why don't we ... whoa!" " Holy moly!" " Oh!" "Craig!" "[Straining] I'm okay." "Ow." "Oh, boy, I'm really sorry again about all the ..." "Please, don't worry." "I think we had a good night." " [Chuckles] Did we?" " Okay, bye, guys." " You have a nice night." " Bye." "Thanks for coming over." " Uh, Valentine's Day, right?" " [Laughs] Uh, yes." "You know, believe it or not, I've had worse." "Oh, [chuckles] so have I." " What are they saying?" " Words of some sort." "Kiss." "Kiss." "Kiss." "Kiss." "Kiss." "Kiss." "Kiss." "Kiss." "You know, I'm actually still kind of hungry." "Uh, want to maybe grab some falafel as pals?" "Love me some falafel." "Now, where were we?" "[Laughs]" "Looks like Cupid's arrow struck again." "But why stop here?" "♪ Eat my meaty meat hearts ♪" "[Gasps]" " # They'll make you fall in love #" " Huh?" "♪ My meat hearts will spread the love so far ♪" "[Crash]" "♪ Can you taste the love tonight?" "♪" "♪ My meat hearts will spread my love tonight ♪" "♪ Early to bed ♪" "♪ Early to rise ♪" "♪ Picking my nose ♪"