"Serena?" "Well done!" "Do a nice drawing, sweetie." "This is me, one year old and only two teeth, but I am already drawing ambitious little houses." "Unfortunately my mother and aunt didn't recognise my talent." "Darn it, you're wasting all this paper, Serena!" "Especially my aunt." "My name's Serena Bruno, and I was born in Anversa, but not the "Antwerp" in Belgium." "The one in Abruzzo." "The first to notice my artistic talent was my kindergarten teacher, who impolitely exclaimed:" "Bloody hell!" "Thank you, miss." "When I was 6, 1.132 people lived in my village." "A multitude." "Daddy!" "Jump on, darling." "While other little girls were playing with dolls, I was investing in real estate." "Crikey, that's amazing!" "Thanks." "At 11, the inhabitants of Anversa had fallen to 645." "Many had emigrated to Tagliacozzo, but not us." "Dad was a good bricklayer, and being able to help him was a real privilege." "When I reached 17, there were only 450 people left in my village, half of them my relatives." "News of my school-leaving exam on graphics layouts crossed the ocean and as a prize I received from Cupertino the first Macintosh of the Abruzzo valleys with a dedicationfrom Mr Jobs." "Doctor Serena Bruno." "I completed my degree in Architecture before time, and they still remember it in Rome." "And not only for my marks." "Well done, Auntie's darling!" "#Don't show us up!" "I set off from my Anversa to acquire several MA's abroad." "Moscow." "Beijing." "Sorry!" "#Dubai!" "Washington!" "How proud her father would be if he were still alive." "God rest his soul." "I now live in London, where l selflessly work as an architect." "Every morning I head for the centre where I'm in charge of an important construction site." "ln fact, I have worked on a dozen, and I have to say that they've all given me a lot of satisfaction." "But a girl can't live off work alone, and the British man, I don't know what you think, has his own charm." "Firstly, he's an evolved male... who is highly civic-minded." "Darn it, all over my shoes!" "But I have to admit, that the weather in this city... can at times be a little hostile." "A little damp at times." "With many downpours..." "And stormy weather." "Or simply a constant drizzle that can last for days." "Or weeks..." "or even months." "But it's not always like that  I like to consider the glass half-full." "Today, for example, it's finally stopped raining!" "EXCUSE ME FOR EXISTING" "As everyone knows, living abroad is an unusual privilege." "Yes, I think the time has come for my next step." "Now I want to move ahead with a revolutionary decision." "What have I said?" "So here I am, in the wonderful suburbs of our capital city, ready to tackle my daily journey through what the locals,  with their admirable sarcasm, call "The Triangle of Death":" "Dragona, Capena, Morena." "My main activity in Dragona is as an interior designer, but only for exclusive and very exacting customers." "The Alfa 495 wardrobe frame, a fixed combination with chromatic variations..." "Whatcha talkin' about?" "It sucks!" "Please, give him what he wants, he's only a child." "The bedroom is available with a long cupboard on the left and sky blue doors." "I want a Batman bedroom!" "Sweetie... we don't have Batman, unfortunately." "#l want Batman!" "How many times must he tell you?" "Here, number 4." "Do you like number 4?" "That's better." "Then you can put Batman stickers all over it." "I'll take your order to the office." "#l have to run... bye." "My most important job is in Capena, where I'm designing a tomb for one of the area's oldest  and most influential families." "Mr Tinozzi!" "Good morning, madam." "I'm sorry I'm late, Mr Tinozzi." "Here's your project." "This looks like a crate!" "You said you wanted something grandiose." "I was inspired by dolmens, the first great tombs in human history." "Since megalithic times..." "Mega what?" "That's no good." "I wouldn't be seen dead in it." "I wanted something richer, more beautiful, much bigger." "An angel, a couple of cupids..." "#Wait, I get it!" "I've got the idea:" "we'll have a nice arch, with two putti at the sides..." "#and a nice angel in the middle." "In solid gold." "With a sword, and written underneath:" ""Here lies the Tinozzi family"." "In Latin, you've heard of Latin?" "#SPQR." "I like it, I like SPQR." "It'll say:" ""Ad onorem perpetuum familiae Tinozzae."" "I'll design a tomb that'll make the others drop dead with envy!" "So to speak..." "All right!" "Really sorry!" "ln the meantime I'd used up all my London savings." "So, right now, as busy as I am with commitments, I am widening my horizons towards new and stimulating activities." "Hi, I hear you're looking for a waitress, here's my CV." "Give it to the boss, he's on his way down. #Thanks." "What is it, my dear?" "My CV." "Thanks." "Serena." "Look at her!" "She's riding a 1967 Ciao." "A collector would pay good money for that." "Leave it to me." "Excuse me!" "Do you need any help?" "That'd be great, thanks." "I presume it's the spark plug, but I'm not sure." "She presumes..." "We'll sort it out for you." "Thanks, you'd be doing me a big favour." "We'll try and get it going for you." "Stop!" "What?" "Crash helmet." "Crash helmet..." "Thank you." "No, thank you." "Bloody idiot!" "My moped... stop thief!" "Stop thief!" "Stop thief!" "Stop thief!" "Dad's moped." "Stop thief!" "Hold it!" "It's not pension day today." "What are you doing?" "I'll kill you, you know!" "You're not likely to kill me with some apples." "What do you want?" "Nothing." "I was looking for my moped and I got disorientated." "You got what?" "I got lost." "Me too, help me find my stair, come on hurry up." "Grab this bag, I'm getting too old, I can barely walk." "I'm sorry I made you jump." "I'm dismayed." "Are you foreign?" "No, I'm from Abruzzo." "Really?" "Then grab these bottles and move it." "I don't see the connection, if you're from Abruzzo... #Move it!" "Hurry up, I'm tired." "Yes." "Get a move on, we're nearly there." "I'm coming." "COMPETITION FOR REDEVELOPMENT OF CORVIALE'S EMPTY FLOOR" "Hurry up, I have to make dinner!" "Right away!" "How do you know which stair is which in here?" "I've marked it in green, with my grandson's paints." "See the mark I put here to find my way home?" "Come on." "See this other mark I put here?" "Otherwise I wouldn't know which flat is mine." "See?" "Come eat something." "Really?" "I'll whip something up for you." "A cake then, come on!" "Come on!" "What are you doing?" "Come here!" "Three, two, one..." "I dream of this at night." "How long's he been divorced?" "5 years." "And he's got a kid too." "Can you imagine his wife?" "I'd kill myself if a guy like him ditched me." "I marked it in green with my grandson's paints." "See the mark I put here to find my way home?" "You're awesome!" "Where did you appear from?" "Anversa." "Nice." "Anversa in Abruzzo, not Belgium." "I've travelled a lot but decided to use my knowledge here." "And that's why you came back to Italy?" "That's bloody stupid!" "Think so?" "It's not as tragic as it sounds." "I've got an interview tomorrow, a project..." "And you work as a waitress." "Yes, but..." "I'm also designing a tomb." "Where?" "#Capena." "Ennio Tinozzi, "I Buy and Sell Gold since 2013."" "How old's your son?" "#Seven." "He's the best trouble I ever got into." "But I haven't seen him much since we separated." "My ex has moved outside Rome with her partner and... it's difficult when you run a restaurant." "Oh God, my strap's broken." "Yes... a restaurant owner's life is a very tiring one." "With all those tables..." "Here we are." "So this is where you live?" "Yes, but not for much longer, I'm looking for a place." "Here we are." "I've already said "here we are"." "Thanks for the nice evening." "#Thank you." "Good luck with your interview." "Serena!" "Mum, Aunt, what the heck!" "Know what I've been thinking, Mummy's darling?" "#Seeing you're being evicted, perhaps you could look for a bigger place." "Now you have this important job..." "#you're bound to find a husband too." "You're so pretty yet you're still single!" "Your boyfriends only last a day!" "What did she say?" "That you can't keep a man." "I don't have time for that, I'm working on this project." "You can't remain single." "Who says I am?" "You do have someone then?" "#Who is he?" "What's he like?" "What's he do?" "What's she saying?" "That maybe you have a boyfriend." "God, the Virgin and all the saints willing!" "All of them." "St Anthony, St Paul, St Peter..." "All the saints." "All of them!" "You were born in Anversa?" "Yes. #Good." "Right, you're part of our team now." "Thank you." "Here you are, miss." "Just this little clause, a mere formality." "A purely precautionary expedient." "#ln the event of catastrophic events." "Like floods, whirlwinds, meteorites." "#And pregnancies." "My resignation letter?" "#Of course." "I find that totally unfair." "Next." "You should've kept your mouth shut!" "Darn it!" "See you tomorrow." "Bye." "Why are you still here?" "Almost done." "What about the interview?" "No, eh?" "#Come with me, come on." "Don't be scared." "Franciacorta 1996, awesome vintage." "Sit down." "Thanks." "Let's toast." "To what?" "#Let's toast to the non-job." "Yeah, sure!" "This is great, this is the first time I've sat down all day." "Come here." "What are you doing?" "Relax." "Okay, I'll relax..." "Bloody hell, that's lovely!" "My life was a sham and I said:" ""What are you doing?"" "I spoke to my wife and told her the truth." "She'd already realised." "I resigned and bought this place with my severance pay." "And now I lead life the way I want to." "My dad used to say the same thing." "What?" "Life runs away from you, so go and grab it!" "Go and grab it!" "That's right." "Here we are again." "Listen..." "I'd like to ask you something." "Yes." "But you might be busy." "No, I'm free." "I haven't told you what day yet." "What day?" "Saturday." "I'm free." "Would you like to come to a party?" "Yes." "I do." "Two mojitos." "Thanks." "Excuse me a sec." "Hi!" "Want another one, darling?" "What's wrong?" "You didn't tell me you were gay." "I told you my wife had realised that our marriage was a sham!" "Why were you so nice to me?" "#Sorry, I'll slap you next time, okay?" "And that wine?" "Corta-whatever 1984..." "Franciacorta 1996, an awesome vintage!" "You expect me to believe you'd open a Corta-whatever..." "Franciacorta." "Whatever!" "Just for a friend?" "Of course." "And when you want to make love?" "I go to a dark room." "And you say "screw"." "Because that's what you wanted from me!" "Next time I'll write it on my forehead. "I'm queer"." "Or I'll wear high heels and a feather boa." "You may have left your wife, but your life is still a sham." "You may have travelled the world but you're still narrow-minded." "Go fuck yourself!" "You go fuck yourself!" "What do you want?" "I don't need anything!" "Go away!" "I carried your water, remember?" "The girl from Abruzzo?" "Yes." "Hello, come in and have a bite." "This place was never finished." "They were supposed to build a cinema, supermarkets, shops, chemist, a post office..." "Everything, but they never did anything." "Have a roulade." "Just one." "No, that's enough." "Just one, go on!" "I'm full, I can't manage another." "#Have a drop of wine." "I'll have some wine but I can't eat another artichoke." "I wanted to ask you:" "what would you like to have most nearby?" "I don't want to be posh, but I'd like... a quiet place for us ladies where we can chat, keep each other company." "And I'd like to take my grandchildren out to play, but I'm afraid they'll get tetanus with all the rubbish outside." "Come on, eat up." "Mrs Antonietta..." "Don't be offended, but do you know how I could find a stolen moped?" "Who's offended?" "Wait!" "Boccino!" "#Boccino?" "Mrs Antonietta... says there's the possibility... of asking you about a moped." "Bye." "Serena?" "She can't work today either." "Don't worry, I'm not going to propose." "Come in." "I'm embarrassed, I behaved like a fool." "No, I didn't explain it properly." "Can I ask you something?" "Why are you living here?" "Because it's cheap." "No kidding." "#lt was cheap, I'm being evicted." "Who's moving in?" "A family from Chiapas." "Have a seat." "Now tell me something:" "why were you being so nice to me?" "Because I like to wipe your face, you're like a five year old." "The pizza." "#Because you dress awful and don't care." "Because you're clumsy." "#You're all wrong." "And you're perfect that way." "You won't believe it, but since I separated, it's been easier to find someone to sleep with than talk to." "No, I believe that!" "Is this the project you were telling me about?" "How can you work in here?" "I can't, in fact." "In ten days I have to hand it in... but it's no use, they'll want to hire a man for a job like this." "One problem at a time." "The project's more important, as for lodgings, you can stay with me." "It's only temporary, don't get any ideas." "Not even a little kiss?" "You didn't feel anything?" "#Just asking..." "Okay." "Excuse me, girls, I'm an architect," "I'm working on this project." "It's a long story..." "Can I take your photo?" "A photo?" "A photo." "Go ahead." "Thanks, you carry on studying..." "Carry on studying." "Thanks a lot, girls." "Bye." "Bye." "Weirdo!" "A photo..." "Is that all you've brought?" "And some work things." "When did you get here?" "Just now." "And when are you leaving?" "Tonight!" "Serena's got a nice boyfriend." "Mum!" "#They've moved in together." "Mum!" "He's so handsome, Clementina, he looks like that actor..." "Brad Pitt." "Taller." "George Clooney?" "No, more handsome." "Show her his photo." "Not again." "#Let me see, Auntie's darling!" "What did she say?" "That she'd like you to bring him here so we can meet him." "When will you bring him here?" "Soon, Auntie." "Soon, I'll introduce you soon." "All right." "All right?" "All right." "How do I look?" "Go and grab them!" "You and I are just wasting our time you know?" "They'll never put a woman in charge of such a big job, they'd rather hire an idiot like him." "Scruffy, with hairy ears..." "#Look at him, lanky..." "If we're lucky they'll let us choose the curtains and tiles." "Architect Serena Bruno." "Yes... that's me." "Go on." "The real problem is updating the cadastral map..." "It's not right that the gardens include..." "Good morning." "#lt's absurd there's so much..." "Excuse me for existing." "Good morning." "Good morning." "Good morning, where's Architect Bruno Serena?" "What do you mean?" "Mr Bruno Serena, where is he?" "Darling..." "Did you buy any diet Coke?" "Snacks!" "#How did the interview go?" "I haven't heard from them yet." "#By the way, this is..." "Marco... come on." "#Hurry up!" "Does no one wear a shirt in this place?" "A dressing-gown..." "A bed jacket..." "This one isn't bad." "Cute." "No, he's hot!" "The best are Taurus75 and Footlicker78." "To be honest, they look the same to me. #Serena, this one or that one?" "Not the one in short socks." "#This one's cute." "Or this one, he's not bad..." "#COMPETITION RESULTS." "Perfect..." "Serena?" "Serena, are you okay?" "Oh God, they've hired me!" "Fantastic!" "You see, things aren't as bad as they seem in Italy, after all." "What's wrong?" "#There's something I didn't tell you." "Where is Mr Bruno Serena?" "He's in Japan." "In Osaka, he returns at the end of the month." "I'm his assistant." "I'm the assistant of Bruno Serena, the architect." "I've come to show you his project." "What did you do?" "You said so yourself..." ""go and grab it", that was the only way!" "#Pretending to be your own secretary?" "Assistant." "#l just did what they expected, a male architect with a female secretary. #Here you are." "Right..." "#These are the aerial plans that I will show you if you can please move this." "Here..." "#straighten it out or you can't see." "The details of the water supply and the experimentation... 110 families living in 15 types of housing units, type A2, A/p, A/b, B1," "B1/p, B1/b1, B1/b2, B1/b3, type B2, B2/b..." "This is the survey done on the spot." "There you are." "You're terrible!" "This is an important project!" "What do you intend to do?" "What do I intend to do?" "It takes three weeks to go from the preparatory to operational stage." "I have to hold out for three weeks." "But what if they find out you're Bruno Serena?" "No, because after three weeks..." "there's no going back." "The town authorities must decide and construction begins." "21 days, and it's done." "And what has this secretary ever done?" "Who is she?" "I've messed up big time!" "That's right!" "What'll I do now?" "Do I go to the police?" "I'll go to the police." "Shall I call them?" "No... wait!" "We need some smoke." "Yes, what shall we burn?" "A joint, you fool!" "Right, a secretary has to be a determined woman." "Yes." "Stiletto heels." "And an animal print outfit." "What's that?" "A leopard mixed with tiger and zebra." "Take a drag." "May I help you?" "#No, are you crazy?" "I'm a secretary, not Beyoncé." "What a bore!" "Let's play with your name then." "Daphne, spelt with "ph"." "No one would fall for that." "Louise Veronica, like Madonna..." "She's from Pacentro, not far from my hometown... but no." "Hello." "#l've got it." "My name's Giulia Conti." "Giulia Conti..." "#Assistant to Architect Bruno Serena." "What an old-fashioned name!" "Second floor, they're expecting you." "You don't like it?" "No." "Excuse me, is this Mr Ripamonti's office?" "Yes, Mr Ripamonti's office is..." "Paragraph 4 in the contract." "No, read it again, and take a look at the article concerning the penalty, you might change your mind." "Antonio?" "We need a table for 15 tonight, not 10." "Thanks." "Good morning, crew." "Good morning, sir. #Good morning." "Michela, thank you for existing." "Denise, you're in great shape." "Thank you, sir." "Come on, Juventus!" "Yeah!" "How much damage did you do last night, Volponi?" "Girls... don't let Casanova distract you." "No, sir." "I'm innocent." "Frangipane!" "Any news?" "No news is good news." "Well done!" "I was forgetting, cancel dinner tomorrow." "How many times have I..." "I adore you, thanks for existing." "But do it." "Phone and cancel it." "Excuse me, I'm Bruno Serena's assistant." "Yes, you can have that desk." "What's up, Serena?" "Guess where I am." "Where?" "In the office, at my desk." "They all fell for it." "Hi." "Hi." "We've met before." "No!" "Where?" "At the presentation of the project." "The lanky idiot with hairy ears..." "Lanky... ah, yes, of course." "What are you doing here?" "I work here, I'm an architect too." "Though right now I'm handling scans." "Prints." "Photocopies." "I even printed out your project, or what I thought was your project." "That's right." "I really liked it." "The green kilometre's a great idea." "Thanks." "When's he coming?" "I can't wait to meet him." "Who?" "Bruno Serena." "The architect." "Of course." "Not before the end of the month..." "Strange, they're organising a video conference for Tuesday." "Get off, I'm not a ski lift!" "#Please, I'm begging you!" "I don't look good on webcams, right?" "Tell her." "Yes, they make you look older." "Look older?" "Fatter, you mean." "Excuse me for existing." "Who's this?" "Pleased to meet you, I'm Nicola." "Cute, eh?" "He is cute." "But I'm not doing it, I know nothing about architecture." "I'll give you instructions via web from the conference room." "All you have to do is read what I write and smile at the screen." "You are capable of reading and smiling at a screen?" "Where from?" "Do you want to recreate Japan in here?" "Be careful with these." "Only because it's you." "Thanks." "We'll put the "screensy" here." "The "screensy"?" "Here." "Thanks for your help." "We'll put the bonsai here." "Can you manage?" "Get these panels up." "This goes here." "Here we are." "Pull your pants up!" "Don't like it?" "No, I don't." "Obnoxious." "You're obnoxious." "The flowers here." "Wait." "Let me see." "Now for the computer." "Move out of the way." "#lt works." "Will you move, please?" "#l want to see the background." "I think that's a little..." "More of a fantail?" "Fantail!" "Is that okay?" "It's fine for me." "Well?" "Let's try it out." "I'll write and you read." "Go on." ""Redeveloping the empty floor of the Corviale building..." "Redeveloping the empty floor of the Corviale building, means..." "Looking for new forms of communal..." "Read it properly." "Redeveloping the empty floor of the Corviale building means looking for new forms of communal spaces." "#How about the Great Wall?" "What do you think?" "It's in China!" "Get out!" "Thanks." "Go on." "The green area is a place where people can meet..." "Put your hand down." "#A study room, a play room..." "A centre for..." "The elderly." "I don't believe it!" "What's up?" "Another grey hair, can you believe it?" "This looks very Japanese, you have to use this." "Put that cat back or I'll chop your hands off." "You're so aggressive." "Go on!" "I can't go ahead with this." "Yes, you can!" "Shoulders straight and keep your hands down. #Be manly!" "Remember: you've a wife and 2 kids." "Yes." "Just one thing, I beg you..." "Don't overdo it." "Me?" "Here he is!" "Good morning." "Sorry, this sushi is delicious." "Good morning." "#"Put that sushi down!"" "Pleased to meet you." "How are things in..." "Osaka?" "Fine." "Redeveloping the empty floor of the Corviale building means looking for new forms of communal spaces." ""At least say hello!"" "Good morning." "Good morning!" "Redeveloping the empty floor of the Corviale building means" "looking for new forms of communal spaces." "The green area is a place where people can meet." "The projects will be funded in full by circumstances that..." "Forgive me, it's my daughter." "Little Louise Veronica." "My wife's a Madonna fan." ""Get back to the project or I'll kill you!" Now, where were we?" ""The morphology."" "Yes, the "formology" of the block." "What did he say?" "The "formology of the bloke", the block..." ""Morphology of the block."" "The formol..." "The morphology..." "There must be a technical issue." "#With the broadband." "Yes, what the architect is trying to say is that the morphology of the building consists of apartments that are very small, in which often very large families live." "This is the purpose of the green kilometre:" "to supply them with the necessary facilities." "We'll start with the centre where grandparents can look after grandkids in a safe place." "Then the young people." "A section of the green area will be set aside for study rooms..." "How do you intend to pay for these communal areas?" "Let's get to the point, how will you fund them?" "They will be financed by the commercial activities, without laying any more concrete, but with the aim of salvaging..." "Good, thank you." "The list of amendments." "I know, Michela." "Stop butting in or you can sit at the back of the class." "In fact, would you mind getting some water?" "Some still, some sparkling, and some effervescent." "Go on!" "Thank you." "#Right, Mr Serena... if you could let us have the amendments as soon as possible." "The amendments... yes, of course." "#They're all ready." ""THE BACKGROUND" The background..." "What's going on?" "Mr Serena, just as a reminder, are you still..." "The local authorities..." "I know!" "The local authorities have arranged a meeting very soon." "Ladies, get your knives sharpened!" "I grind knives, scissors, dressmaker's scissors!" "Ham knives!" "Ladies!" "It's my phone." "My ring tone." "I miss Italy so much I downloaded this ring tone." "It's your project, isn't it?" "No." "Such a cool project can't belong to that idiot!" "It's not fair!" "Same old story, you do the work, he gets the credit." "It's not what you..." "Don't stick up for him." "We're all in the same boat here." "I don't think so." "I can imagine Bruno Serena, third generation of architects, easy life." "He's worked very hard too, his father was a builder..." "Yes, with an office in Piazza di Spagna." "To start with, Bruno Serena is from Anversa. #Native French speaker, chic!" "It's cool to hire a Belgian here." "No, Anversa in Abruzzo." "A village of 300 inhabitants, in the middle of the mountains." "For five years Bruno Serena commuted two hours by bus to university." "With deep snow in winter." "#Because Mum and Dad, God rest his soul, couldn't afford an apartment in Rome." "So I wouldn't call that an easy life." "I see you're very close." "You've no idea how close!" "I won't judge, but a word of advice:" "they never leave their wives." "You've got the wrong idea!" "And it's none of your business!" "Go and do some printing!" "Yeah, at least another hour." "Don't wait for me." "Yes..." "Two exercise books with lines, one with squares and a saw for plywood." "The past perfect of the verb arise?" "I don't know, honey, isn't Daddy there?" "Remember to change the cat litter." "Is this Mr Ripamonti's family?" "Yes." "Look how pretty Anna is, I've known these rascals since they were born." "This is Angelica, she's sitting her diploma this year." "This is little Tommaso he's in 6th grade. #He's a picky eater." "They're very affectionate, I'm like an aunt to them." "See you tomorrow." "See you tomorrow." "Admit it, they're crazy about me, I won them over." "That idiot Nicola saved us, and that's saying something. #Yeah, all right..." "Who can that be?" "Slave72." "Who?" "Slave72!" "You go and open it, I'm not ready yet." "I can't let Slave72 see me like this." "Come in, Francesco will be right with you. #l don't think he's expecting me." "Slave72?" "Ex-wife '74." "And you are?" "I live here." "But..." "No, no!" "Francesco!" "Just a sec." "No, come here!" "What's up?" "Hi." "Hi." "I need to talk about our son. #l'll leave you to it." "Come in." "Japan?" "What are you up to?" "Nothing." "What's up?" "I want you to mind your son." "The restaurant's open all day, how can I take him to swimming lessons and school?" "I've never asked you for anything, so I need..." "I'll go!" "How can I?" "The same way I have for six years, figure it out." "But with the restaurant..." "Slave72." "Please come in." "You can't change your habits..." "No!" "It's a job, not a habit." "No, I can see that..." "Wait in the kitchen, please." "Listen carefully..." "Can I get you some tea?" "Thanks. #l've just brewed some." "Even when we were married, you boasted you were a hard worker!" "Was he hetero once?" "Yes, but a long time ago." "You can't make me out to be a monster!" "It's because you're a good father that I'm sorry." "Does he have a kid too?" "How much sugar?" "#Two." "You persuaded me to call him Elton." "Elton?" "Like Elton John." "What about it?" "Ask him what his schoolmates say." "So he's bisexual?" "No!" "I wish..." "It's only for 15 days." "I can't." "I have a life too, you know." "A couple of biscuits?" "I shouldn't, I'm on a diet." "No!" "You're just big boned!" "Think so?" "It's a chance to spend time with your son, for 15 days." "You could tell him the truth." "Wait!" "You haven't told your son you're gay?" "#No!" "The kid has a right to know the truth." "Shut up, go and tie yourself up." "No, I won't. #Please, don't you start now." "I'll be going." "I'll see you out." "Wait!" "Bye, Serena, thanks." "Try and convince him." "#Bye." "She's right." "You're one to talk!" "Have you told them the truth at work?" "Are you a lesbian?" "No, at the office... #l'm a secretary to myself." "Of him, who's pretending to be me as a man, right?" "No, sorry, this is too much even for me." "I'm off, I start my shift at the Ministry at 3:00." "A bunch of crazies in here!" "#l'm never coming back." "I know, you're right." "#l have to tell him." "But you have to help me." "No." "Serena, please." "Please." "I'm not being your girlfriend." "Wait a minute." "You scratch my back... and I'll scratch yours." "Right..." "First of all I don't want him to be scared." "I'd like him to feel reassured." "A father, a partner, and a comfortable home." "A normal life." "I'd left it in the kitchen." "The merman too?" "Desperate Housewives." "The Greeks..." "Get rid of them too." ""Gone With the Wind"?" "What's wrong with that?" "#To be on the safe side." ""Sex and the City"?" "Toss it. #Get rid of "Glee"." "This artwork of two backsides..." "We'll never pull it off." "Don't worry." "Just calm down, he's a 7-year-old child." "And he's your son, I'm sure he's a sweetie." "In fact, you know what?" "I think we'll have a lot of fun together." "How was your day at school?" "Nothing special." "Nothing special." "You're studying with the older kids this year?" "The party's over!" "What are the teachers like?" "Yeah?" "Nothing special." "Dinner's ready!" "Dinner's ready, dear." "Okay." "Yes, dear." "A little bird told me you love tomatoes stuffed with rice." "Delicious!" "#Right?" "What do you think?" "Nothing special." "Good!" "Very good!" "Darling, the tomatoes." "Why don't you come and get them?" "You're here, bring them over." "Let's not argue, dear." "Why not?" "Why not?" "Of course I'll get the tomatoes." "Careful, it's hot." "Stay where you are." "The tomatoes." "Here they are, these tomatoes... are made with tomatoes and rice, and rosemary, which isn't right, but she's from Abruzzo." "Done, darling?" "There!" "Amazing!" "Come here, dear." "Pass me your plate, dear." "My plate..." "Where are you going?" "To work." "I took half a day off yesterday for this play acting." "I have to do some surveys with Pietro, the biggest pain in the office." "And you're leaving me on my own?" "Francesco, you're his father." "Please, you can't leave me..." "Do you like her then?" "Who?" "#Serena." "You see?" "Daddy's not on his own any more." "He has someone who loves him." "What do you think of her?" "Nothing special." "Nothing special." "What the fuck are you doing?" "Nothing." "What are you doing?" "Calm down, guys, he's with me." "He's with you?" "Yes." "Cool, Serena!" "#Thanks... come away." "Bye." ""Cool, Serena"?" "#Sister, he said "Cool, sister"." "He's affectionate... in his own way." "Hi!" "This is Pietro." "Nice to meet you, I'm Sharon." "I'm Jennifer." "Are you two an item?" "Who?" "You two." "No, he's a colleague." "Too bad." "Jennifer, Sharon..." "where are we, in New York?" "They're cute." "Yes, really cute. #Homework!" "Bruno Serena might be cool, but he's never set foot in here." "No, he did the survey, he's a very professional person." "I don't reckon so, while you're here working, he's living it up elsewhere." "Here." "Thanks." "Why does everyone think things are better abroad?" "For the same reason we use the expressions "spending review"," ""meeting" and "jobs act" instead of the Italian words." "I don't even know what "default" means." "Foreign things sound more cool." "That's not true." "Damn it!" "Why won't anyone admit it?" "#ltaly's a really beautiful country." "Really beautiful..." "You can spend a few years abroad, then you've had enough." "Name one fool who wants to come back to Italy." "Bruno Serena, for example." "He's happy where he is." "Look, when you live abroad you can also feel very..." "Alone, unhappy... fragile." "Him, fragile?" "With his deltoids?" "Yes, him." "I'm sure he'd be much happier sitting here right now eating this cheese and ham sandwich..." "With you." "With me?" "Geez, you're getting me confused!" "You get on my nerves!" "What have I said?" "And what deltoids?" "How do I know, I don't even know where the deltoids are!" "Do you mind if I sleep on the right?" "#Fine, I prefer that side." "Are you sure?" "What's up?" "This situation with my son." "Maybe I should prepare a speech." "A speech?" "You're not swearing in at the White House." "You'll know when the time is right." "Think so?" "Yes." "You just have to create a quiet moment." "Now move your flippers out of the way and sleep." "You have to be wide awake at the video conference tomorrow." "You're right, or my face will look puffy." "The dilapidated state of the building..." "The written list by 4:00." "I know." "The local authorities, Mr Serena, want a written list." "By 4:00." "4:00." "What?" "Nothing, I was telling my secretary, Yoko..." ""Don't you dare repeat that"." "I told my secretary to go and open the door." ""Go and open it!"" "Forgive me while I go and get an important document." "I'll be right back." "Darling!" "Good morning!" "Mummy's darling!" "Mummy?" "I'm Serena's mother!" "How handsome you are!" "Even more handsome in the flesh!" "Hello, I'm Aunt Clementina." "I'm so fond of you!" "Aunt Clementina..." "Quiet!" "Hello?" "Some delicious meat kebabs!" "And homemade aubergines." "Serena loves them." "#l'll call you back." "Come in, but keep quiet..." "Look, all his things are hanging out." "Come in here!" "All of it!" "Come on!" "You're more handsome in real life." "Hurry up. #l'll call you back." "Well?" "I'd wait for the summary table." "The new amendments." "I know." "About the amendments..." "Yes." "Mr Serena, the important thing..." "The liaison." "Would be to have your assistant liaising with my secretary. #Perfect!" "So that we'll immediately be operative for the local authorities." "Fully operative." "#At this point, for the amendments," "I'd ask you to look at the graphics in table 3." "Because there, practically..." "I can send it again if you want, it's not a problem." "Remember the town hall on the 25th." "I know, I remember!" "The representatives from the town hall are coming here on the 25th..." "Perfect." "To sign the contract." "We'll expect you here in Rome." "In Rome?" "#Of course." "You can't ask me to do that." "It's the last time!" "Come home, I can't take any more!" "They're yelling in a language I don't understand." "Salami!" "You have to come to this meeting." "Come here." "I'll call you back. #Meat kebabs!" "What are you up to, Giulia?" "Nothing." "Why isn't he coming to sign for his project?" "Because we've fallen out." "Why's that?" "Are you hiding something?" "Why did you fall out?" "#Because..." "Because there's someone else in my life now..." "What do you mean, someone else?" "Bloody hell!" "Aunt Clementina's aubergines are wonderful." "What are they like, sweetie?" "Nothing special." "The doorbell." "#Go and open it." "Go on!" "They're delicious, Auntie!" "Who is it?" "A friend of Francesco's, but he's not staying." "Let him in, there's plenty to eat." "#Hello, who are you?" "Nice to meet you, I'm Nicola." "Goodness, Nicola!" "#l'm Serena's mother." "You're so handsome!" "You're all handsome here." "This is my sister Clementina." "How handsome you are!" "That's enough, Auntie!" "#Enough!" "You'll wear him out!" "Don't queen it up. #Rude!" "Francesco!" "#Come in." "Move over for our guest." "Give Nicola a plate..." "Have you already eaten?" "Yes. #Eat up!" "Now for the ice-cream!" "And some cherry syrup." "Some for the little boy, some for my Francesco..." "Just Francesco." "Some for Aunt Clementina." "Thank you." "For Mamma Grazia." "Thank you, dear Nicola." "And some for dear Serena!" "#Thank you." "Not so much." "And some for me." "Bloody hell!" "#Don't you dare!" "Sit down and behave." "Down." "Wicked." "Fool." "A little more ice-cream, Auntie." "Have some more ice-cream." "Thanks." "You're welcome." "What's the ice-cream like?" "Nothing special." "Daddy buys you ice-cream and you say it's "nothing special"?" "#Elton?" "Can I have some more?" "Of course, Grandma's treasure!" "It'll do you good." "It can't be "nothing special" then." "What's this ice-cream like then?" "Good." "What?" "Good. #Good?" "What a lovely happy family." ""Happy families are all alike." "Every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."" "Tolstoy." "#The opening lines of "Anna Karenina"." "Children are the best things in the whole world." "I only had one, but look what a marvel she is!" "You're so beautiful!" "The phone!" "Answer it!" "Let go then." "Go on." "There we are." "#Good boy." "This ice-cream is really amazing!" "He's fallen asleep." "And so has Nicolino." "Have you told him?" "Yes, can you hold the line, please?" "#Michela, excuse me, I'm preparing for the meeting with the local authorities tomorrow." "Mr Ripamonti's on his way up." "It's the councillor's secretary." "It's 10:00, not now." "Forgive me, I'll call you back." "If you don't mind me saying so," "Mr Ripamonti can walk through the door on his own." "I've done this every morning for 30 years, don't tell me what to do." "Why do you do it?" "It's my job. #To make his coffee?" "What do you know?" "Mr Ripamonti and I have a special relationship." "Built on decades of respect." "That's strange!" "I find him rather ungrateful when it comes to you." "I won't let you judge us." "Everyone here knows it." "You do the work, he takes the credit." "Don't you do the same thing?" "It's ourjob, my dear." "They're in the spotlight, we work behind the scenes." "At least I don't have to make him coffee every morning." "I don't do it because I have to, I do it because I want to." "Good morning, crew!" "Good morning." "Michela, thank you for existing." "Denise, you're in great shape." "Thanks." "Come on, Juventus!" "Yeah!" "#Mr Volponi, who did you upset last night?" "I'm innocent, sir." "Any news, Frangipane?" "Everything's fine." "Have a good day, everybody." "Italy's best amateur chefs fight it out for 100.000 Euros..." "Dad?" "Can you give me a lift?" "I'm going to a friend's house." "Of course." "I can record this... so I won't miss the finale." "Then I'm all yours." "Can I have some money?" "I want to buy some chips." "Okay, perfect." "Pull them out with this and put them there." "Well done." "Elton, Daddy wants to tell you something." "Can I put some ketchup on them?" "You can put whatever you want on them." "Farewell, crew." "Goodbye, sir." "Sir, don't forget it's Tommaso's birthday." "Tommaso who?" "Your son." "Right, what did you get him?" "He'll love it, you'll see." "Michela, thank you for existing." "#Good evening." "Why didn't you answer my call?" "I couldn't." "Is he back, is that why you couldn't?" "Is it because we kissed, or do you kiss everyone..." "We'll discuss it later." "Have you spoken to him?" "About what?" "About us." "Listen, I'm not Bruno Serena's mistress." "What then?" "I can't tell you." "The architect arrives tomorrow, I have to plan the meeting." "You've just torn into Michela, yet you're doing the same thing." "Are you spending the evening doing your stupid boss's work?" "You don't get it, it's important." "No, you don't get it, it's important for him, not for you." "Oh God!" "Go away!" "You're getting on my nerves!" "Oh really?" "Daddy!" "Hello, darling." "Happy Birthday!" "Let's see if I guessed right." "There you go." "Thanks, Dad!" "#Nintendo, just what I wanted!" "I'm so glad." "Come on, let's go. #Hello, darling." "Can't you give your dad a smile?" "#Darn it..." "The new technology of the casting." "The cladding." "The cladding in Focchi facades greatly improves the energy consumption in the building and guarantees..." "An..." "Energetic..." "Energy!" "Energy conversion efficiency..." "Enough, we've been at it for three hours." "You're as focussed as a hamster!" "Let's take a break." "Not another!" "The meeting's in nine hours!" "A lot can happen in nine hours!" "What do you care?" "It's my life that's at stake here!" "Bad-tempered and melodramatic!" "Here, have a drop of wine and relax." "Everything's under control." "Yeah, sure." "Do you trust me?" "No?" "You're right not to." "I'm teasing." "Get off!" "Jesus!" "Francesco, Francesco..." "Francesco, wake up!" "Listen, do you think last night we..." "#No!" "Oh God, I don't think so." "Teeth?" "Make-up?" "Wonderful, beautiful." "Good luck." "Thanks." "Hello." "Hello." "Bruno Serena, this is Pietro." "Pleased to meet you." "#The pleasure's mine." "Is he..." "No..." "#Okay, now concentrate." "Mr Serena, at last!" "Nice to meet you!" "Come with me." "We have to wrap up a mere formality." "I am sure you and I will see eye to eye immediately." "Of course!" "My assistant can come too." "Yes." "Good morning, councillors." "Economic reference." "Everything's fine then." "All we need is the economic reference." "For each item." "For each item." "Paragraph 4 of the terms of contract." "It's all in paragraph 4 of the "terms of contrast"." "Contrast?" "Contract." "Say it properly." "Terms of contract." "Energy conservation plan." "I know." "Michela, can you get the energy plan of the building?" "Right away." "Volponi?" "The energy plan of the building." "Engineer Volponi, Architect Serena!" "Oh fuck!" "Fuck what?" "Fuck, fuck." "Fuck, fuck?" "#Volponi?" "Thanks." "How about a champagne break?" "Yes!" "You've been groping my arse in front of everybody all this time!" "Playing the hetero?" "So?" "What was the point?" "With 200 applicants for 2 jobs, do you think Ripamonti would hire a queer?" "What about you two?" "What about us?" "With 50 candidates for a project, would Ripamonti hire a woman?" "Precisely, we all spew bullshit to keep ourjobs here." "I need to keep mine." "I need to sign for mine." "Are we all agreed then?" "Good, you'll all get an up-to-date schedule within 7 days, okay?" "Goodbye." "Goodbye." "Frangipane, see them out." "Give my regards to Councillor Angeletti. #Of course." "Dear Serena, come here." "We need to discuss some priorities." "Of course." "To cut down on costs, we've decided on a few changes." "Who's "we"?" "Miss Conti, I'm talking to Architect Serena. #l'm sorry." "As I was saying we have seen the possibility of altering the intended use of plot 7." "And that's where we'll build..." "The shopping centre." "No, plot 7 is..." "#set aside for communal space." "The play area, the old people's centre, it's the heart of the project, you can't do away with that!" "Miss, we are all impressed by your enthusiasm, but sit down now." "Come with me." "Michela, get the young lady a glass of water, then she'll stop creating all these problems for us." "You're the one who's the problem!" "You see these two girls?" "I didn't photoshop them, they're real." "Their names are Sharon and Jennifer, yes, they're dreadful names." "Jennifer has a huge arse, but that's not her problem." "Her problem is she lives in a tiny flat with four other people, and she doesn't need a new shop that sells mobiles or underwear, she needs a decent place to study in." "People are important, damn it!" "Mrs Antonietta, who you haven't even met, can't find her own home because the corridors are all the same." "This place is not a box to be filled, people live here!" "We're working for them, right?" "Understand?" "This project is for people!" "It's wonderful to see how passionate you are about yourjob." "I am sure Architect Serena will reward you for it." "You're a bloody fool then!" "What did you just say?" "She said: "You're a bloody fool"." "It's my project." "I'm Serena Bruno." "Goodness!" "Cheer up!" "What a bitch!" "I'm going to ruin her!" "Not only will I fire her, I'll make sure she never works for anyone else." "Forgery of public deeds is illegal." "#Michela, call Attorney Sinibaldi." "I'm not calling anyone." "If you report her, I'll reveal the Campobasso papers." "And if you ask me to bring you a coffee, I'll throw it at you." "What's your name?" "Who are you?" "My name's Serena, Serena Bruno." "How much crap have you told me?" "None." "Who's he then?" "Hey!" "Shut up!" "Calm down." "I'm sorry." "#l just did it for the job." "Everything?" "Us too?" "What do you mean?" "Us too?" "Who is this dickhead?" "Careful!" "Cut that out, okay?" "Don't you dare!" "Oh God, careful!" "Stop it!" "Oh God!" "Stop it!" "Fine, just kill yourselves!" "Darling, I just wanted to..." "Do you wear glasses?" "Why didn't you tell me before?" "I don't like them." "Wearing glasses is fine, it's just the frames... #They're awful." "You know what?" "On Saturday we'll go downtown and buy you decent frames, then you'll look real cool." "Dad?" "#What did you want to tell me?" "What did I want to tell you?" "How long have you been messing about with that guy?" "No... it's not true." "It's no use denying it, I saw you." "I assure you I haven't." "Tell the truth." "I swear, you're the only guy for me." "But if I weren't a woman..." "I'd be the man of your life." "Good morning, crew!" "Denise, you're in good shape!" "#Thank you!" "Come on, Juventus!" "No!" "Look here!" "Come on, Naples!" "Volponi!" "Frangipane, any news?" "No news is good news, sir." "Thanks, Serena." "Thanks. #Bye." "Thanks." "Bye, Serena." "Thanks." "Where did you find that?" "It was a present from Boccino, and this too." "Did you talk to Mrs Antonietta too?" "What did she say?" "They've bought 30 litres of green paint and they're painting that floor themselves." "They'll never make the green kilometre, will they?" "I don't know, I'm not setting foot in there again." "Have you handed in your notice?" "What will we do now?" "#We..." "Dad?" "If Dad were hetero, you'd be perfect for him. #Thanks, darling." "Thanks." "Well done." "What for?" "#You told him." "Bye." "Hooray!" "Here's the "cotturo"!" "Applause!" "Hooray!" "Hooray for the "cotturo"." "Do you know what "cotturo" is?" "It's a sheep cooked whole in its own broth..." "A heavy meal." "When did you get here?" "Just now." "When are you leaving?" "To the only question Aunt Clementina can formulate... I think I'll give her a different answer this time." "THE "GREEN KILOMETRE" PROJECT EXISTS" "IT WAS DESIGNED BY A WOMAN." "ARCHITECT GUENDALINA SALIMEI" "THE PROJECT HAS BEEN APPROVED, WORK SHOULD BEGIN IN 2015" "HOPEFULLY"