"Resynched by ShooCat" "Hello." "No." "Running, reading..." "going out, staying in... the countryside... films... if they're good." "Intelligent, of course." "Kind... pretty, I suppose." "But it's not critical." "Somone you can really talk to." "I think communication is key." "The most beautiful girl in the world" "Picks my ties out she eats my candy" "She drinks my brandy" "The most beautiful girl in the wo-o-rld..." "I came from Moscow, and, um..." "I'm looking for perfect husband." "...Older than me, about 5 years." "I don't want anything fat." "I don't like stingy man." "...like Johnny Depp." "He's got passion." "He's good-looking." "...Who care about family, who loves children." "I do wild things." "I'm actually looking for somebody who could control that." "I like "Earth, Wind, and Fire," my favorite group." "... To the one and only beautiful girl in the world" "Okay, when you think about it," "England is just a small island." "I mean, I know that gives you about 20 million girls to choose from." "But if you live in a small town and you work long hours, you're just not gonna get the chance to meet them all." "But I suppose I never really believed in that stuff about falling in love with the girl next-door." "I mean, for a start, I never had a girl next-door." "But where does it say that you have to meet the love of your life in the local supermarket?" "We all have someone in our past -- one skeleton, if you like." "We've all got at least one person, as it were, under the patio." "Not literally, of course." "I should say that some people, on the face of it, might not understand what I'm doing." "They might think it was a bit sad." "I think it's quite a brave move." "Quite a brave..." "reasonable thing to do." "Attention please." "Flight 236 from Moscow has now landed, and passengers are disembarking at Gate 7." "This is a security announcement." "Would all passengers ensure that they keep their luggage with them at all times." "Unattended baggage will cause a security alert." "Flight 179 from Rome has now landed..." "Nadia?" "I'm " " I'm John." "Right." "Is that everything?" "Yes." "It's about 40 miles from here." "Don't know if you've had a chance to look at the map." "Close to London, but it's a city in itself." "I'm having a problem with ants." "It's the warmer weather." "I can't seem to find the nest." "Do, um -- this is strange, isn't it?" "Yes." "I mean ants, you know?" "I'm having a problem with ants." "Honestly." "It looks like it might rain." "So, you're a smoker." "I thought you were a nonsmoker." "Sorry." "Do you understand what I'm saying?" "" " Yes." "" " Good." "Good." "" " Or should I speak slower?" "" " Yes." "Do you " " Do you follow or should I speak slower?" "Yes." "Um... are you a giraffe?" "Yes." "Oh, Jesus." "Jesus Christ!" "This is John Buckingham from St. Albans." "I need to speak to you absolutely urgently." "There's been a mistake." "She doesn't speak English." "Repeat -- she does not speak English." "Please call me back as soon as possible." "It's critical." "Ooh." "Your letters were in English." "Good English." "You said you'd studied English." "Whoa... um..." "I can't take that." "I can't take that." "I'm " " I'm not really a ring guy." "Okay." "That's no big deal." "Yep." "Thank you." "Thanks." "John Buckingham again." "If anyone's there, could they please call me back as soon as possible?" "It's an emergency." "Repeat -- emergency." "Absolutely right." "Percival Lowell, who predicted the existence of the planet Pluto, was a champion of the theory that intelligent life once existed on which planet of the solar system?" "Neptune." "" " Mars." "" " Correct." "That number again -- St. Albans. 0724935." "I'll be here all night." "And if you get this message, if anyone gets this message..." "You should go now." "We'll " " We'll talk in the morning." "Wh" "Ohh!" "Ohh!" "Oh!" "Ohh!" "Ohh!" "Ohh!" "This is Mr. Buckingham again." "It's now Monday 16 a. m." "It is now imperative that you call me back as soon as you receive this message." "Thank you." "You have reached "From Russia With Love."" "If you are interested in any of our services, please leave us a message " "Nadia... this isn't gonna work." "I'm sorry." "I'm booking a flight for you... today." "I'm sorry." ""John Buckingham, deputy head of new business, yearly report." ""John listens and comprehends well." ""When communicating, he selects the most efficient methods" ""and displays effective verbal-communication skills in dealing with both customers and colleagues."" "Could you cash this, please?" "So, John, did you have a good weekend?" "Uh, yeah, pretty good." "Do anything special?" "No." "Do you want it in 10s?" ""In January, John narrowly missed promotion" ""to head of new business at the branch," ""but was rewarded in March" ""when he became a trusted holder of the keys to the vault." ""This was to mark 10 years on-the-floor service." ""Customer relations -- although John" ""is sometimes reticent in engaging with customers," ""on one occasion," ""John showed first-class communication skills" ""in a delicate customer situation." ""Problem solving " ""John identifies most problems within appropriate time frames." ""He usually resolves or minimizes most problems" ""before they grow into larger problems." ""As a local boy," ""John is a recognizable face to customers," ""and so a valuable tool" ""in maintaining lasting relationships," ""although John still has some reluctance to -- or has problems in " ""carving out new relationships face to face." ""Judgment " ""John makes able decisions in most areas of his job." ""John follows instructions conscientiously" ""and responds well to personal directions..." ""and in most situations, assumes responsibility" ""for his own actions and outcomes." ""On the whole, John grasps the central principles of banking for the new century." ""He understands and responds to" ""the power structure on the floor." ""In conclusion, John should be satisfied with his performance." ""This has been a sound, workmanlike year for him much the same as last year."" "Thank you." "I think that's very fair." "Ooh." "Oh." "And... go." "Good." "Good." "Very good." "So, how did that feel?" "John?" "It feels -- It felt good." "Weird." "It's called "Trust..." "And..." "Letting Go."" "Trust..." "And..." "Letting Go." "Made you a cup of tea." "Are you okay?" "Bahd-day." "Sorry?" "Mm-mm." "Today... bahd-day." "Bahd-day." "I-I don't understand." "Mm." "Happy birthday!" "Happy birthday!" "" " Birth-day." "" " Yes." "Happy birthday." "Par-ty." "" " Yes!" "Party." "Party." "" " Par-ty!" "Yeah." "Party." "Yes." "Party, party." "Happy birthday to you" "Happy birthday to you" "Happy birthday, dear Nadia" "Oh!" "Let me get it." "The flight was terrible." "I told you I'd make it." "I told you she was beautiful." "John!" "Hey, John!" "John, John, John, my man!" "Hey, let me look at you." "Oh, beautiful, beautiful." "Beautiful." "One " " One minute." "Nadia." "Meet my new guitarist Alexei." "You'll love him, he's a riot." "Happy Birthday." "How's that, huh?" "We can't drink our own piss, can we, John?" "Hey?" "Hang on." "Um, sorry." "Who are you?" "Get some glasses." "Uh, what are you -- what are you doing here?" "Sorry, eh, you've lost me." "You don't speak Russian?" "How do you say friend in English?" "Friends, friends!" "Nadia, Yuri -- friends." "Is it Ok me being here?" "Yes." "Nadia." "Okay." "She wants to tell you that, you know, her English is so shit, no one speak Russian, so it's very, very hard for her, you know." "The light -- for the cake." "Okay, Nadia..." "happy birthday!" "Hang on, hang on, hang on." "I need to know who you are first." "We are Russian." "Yes, I know." "Good." "A-and?" "And what?" "Oh, from the beginning." "Okay..." "Nadia is my little cousin, except she's not my little cousin, but we say "little cousin."" "Is it good?" "So you're -- you're both Nadia's cousins?" "No, no, no, Alexei doesn't speak English." "We are actors." "Although he is actor/musician." "He is very, very good." "I'm not so good." "I just strum along." "He makes me look like a retard." "He smokes me." "No, I don't mean he "smokes" me... you know?" "What?" "You " " You say "smoke" in England?" "No." "No, okay." "So I can say "he smokes me," huh?" "So I come to England with other actors to make shows." "And I meet this crazy guy from Novgorod." "I tell him about you, about chicken, and birthday cake." "And here we are!" "So how -- how long will you be in England?" "Oh, plans." "Come on." "Plans are for architects, politicians, not for us." "Uh, but you must have a visa or something?" "Are you asking me for my documents?" "" " No." "" " Yes, you are " "Okay, John, yes." "I've put on a few pounds." "Come on, John." "Don't tease him." "John, please." "Can I have a light?" "So..." "John, you have nothing to say to your fiance'e?" "Maybe to a wife of 40 years, I can understand." "But... come on." "You speak and I will translate if you want, okay?" "Hello." ""Hello." She say "hello" to you, John." "It's good." "Go for it." "Um..." "Do you like England?" "That's a classic." "Hey, whew!" "Thanks God she say "yes"!" "Go, go, go, go." "Can't think of anything." "Okay, now, Nadia -- she has secret to tell." "What?" "Okay, she says that she watched you at airport..." "I saw you standing there by the gate..." "She says, When I was a little girl, my father had these beautiful, old glasses for watching the birds." "Binoculars." "Binoculars." "Okay." "That he had kept from the war." "I would pretend binoculars was a camera, and I would take pictures of the things I loved." "The day before I left Russia, my father gave me the old binoculars..." "And he said that when I was to see you, I was to stand far away..." "And look at you through the binoculars... and if you were a bad person, I could run away." "She say, She took picture..." "In the head." "Took mental picture." "Okay." "T ake picture." "Closer." "Closer." "Okay." "Hey!" "Is like Hollywood, eh?" "Come on." "A 1... 2... 3!" "... 3!" "Ahh!" "John." "John." "John." "Huh?" "John..." "John, John, John, John, John!" "John!" "We can see you." "Come in." "Come in." "John." "Johnny!" "Some Rabbit?" "Hangover medicine for yesterday." "" " You want some?" "" " No." "No, thank you." "Ahh!" "Ahh!" "Ahh!" "Hey, John!" "John!" "Hey, John!" "Look " " John!" "You've got something on your face." "Stop that!" "I won!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "What the hell are you doing?" "I couldn't breathe!" "You bastard." "Don't ever touch me again!" "I told you to leave her alone." "Keep out of this." "So..." "I'm really sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave." "Oh, I-I'm sorry, John." "It --It's not you." "Oh, it's my fault." "I should have maybe come alone?" "It's okay." "You can stay tonight." "I'm sorry." "I don't know him that much." "Okay." "I see you tomorrow morning, we go." "Good night, Yuri." "Thank you very much, John." "You've been very kind." "" " Thank you." "Thank you, John." "" " John." "Good night, John." "I'm sorry, John." "" " What happened?" "You're throwing me out?" "What's he saying?" "!" "Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit!" "" " Alexei!" "Alexei!" "" " Leave her alone!" "You think you're better than me?" "I beg you." "Let's see if lover boy has any balls." "Put the fucking kettle down!" "What?" "You with your nice job." "And your big house." "And you still have to pay for a women." "I don't understand." "Let's see what she's worth to you." "Oh, Jesus!" "What are you doing?" "!" "What do you want?" "!" "What do you want?" "Bread." "Money." "Ah, John?" "John, this is Robert Moseley, head of Southeast new business." "Robert, this is John Buckingham." "" " Hello, John." "" " Hello." "Thought you could give us a tour this morning, sort of be our Indian guide?" "" " Right." "" " Do you play?" "Yes, I do." "That's John -- he's always surprising us with his hidden talents, isn't he?" "I was in a band." "Keyboards." "Sort of like... very loud, uh, very loud Marillion." "" " Oh, yeah."Script For a Jester's Tear." " " Yes." "Come on, maestro." "Give us a tune." "I'll give you a tune later." "Take the ball and run with it, John." "Right." "Good morning, John." "Hey, give us a tune?" "" " I'll give you a tune later." "" " All right." "This is the, uh..." "This is, um..." "This is where we're doing "Trust " ""Trust And Letting Go."" "Yeah." "We're not doing this till the fourth quarter." "The result -- has it been beneficial?" "Yes." "It's really weird at first." "It's sort of, um, exciting and frightening at the same time." "Wouldn't you say, John?" "Yes." "No, no, we're starting to see results." "This is Karen who's, uh, taking it." "" " Hi." "Robert." "" " Hi." "Hi." "So, what are you doing here, exactly?" "It's called "Trust And Letting Go." It's a kind of game..." "Excuse me." "Hey, John, Moseley's here." "Yeah, I'll give you a tune later." "It's weird, isn't it?" "Very good." "So if you'd like to swap places with your partners, we'll try a bit of mutuality." "Get into your place..." "and brace." "And arms penguin... and in the back, I want you to really flex your knees." "Be ready -- Be ready to catch them." "Okay?" "And... go." "I am so sorry, John." "So sorry." "Come on, you big orange bastard!" "Live!" "Tell him he's got what he wanted and to let her go." "Thank you, John." "Thank you very much, John." "I love you." "I'll always love you." "Guess?" "Fifty thousand." "Sixty four thousand, eight hundred." "There's over ninety grand here." "Woo!" "Woo!" "Split it up three ways." "You owe me 150 pounds." "What for?" "I've been shelling out for you all week." "What have you bought me?" "When we went to the Hard Rock Cafe." "When we went to see "Cats"." "Who paid?" "That's normal friendship stuff." "Tightwad." "What was "Cats" like?" "Not bad." "Yeah it was so-so." "I gave it three stars." "The sets were good." "The sets were excellent." "Everything was very big." "the trash, coke cans so you felt cat size." "It was really clever." "So..." "Tell me..." "How many times did you have to do it?" "Two?" "Three?" "You scared me with the kettle." "How are you doing?" "You okay?" "Listen, uh, let me show you something." "Maybe this is gonna make it easy, you know?" "Look, uh, look -- uh, this is, uh, German guy." "Okay?" "This is, uh, Switzerland." "This is, uh, Greek -- Greek guy." "This is, uh, a croupier." "This is a fat guy." "You see?" "No." "And this is, uh, this is you." "Listen, John, you know, uh... they weren't -- you know, they weren't as good as you are." "You... you shouldn't feel so bad, huh?" "Okay, um, I need this." "Thank you." "Thank you." "It's enough isn't it." "We can stop now." "Do you want to stop?" "Yes." "Well, stop then." "What's this?" "What?" "It's nothing." "I burnt myself." "A rope burn?" "No." "I did it cooking." "You liked this one didn't you?" "That's ridiculous." "Just drop it." "Are you lying?" "And that story?" "The binoculars." "Was that true?" "I'm going to that arcade." "They've got GranTurismo." "Have fun." "I made you something" "I want to see if it fits" "Do you like it?" "Say thank you." "You're going to be a father." "I'm pregnant." "I've been throwing up for weeks." "Aren't you pleased?" "What are we supposed to do with a baby?" "Think of a name for it." "John's been with us for, uh,10 years, and, uh, I think I speak for us all when I say I hope he, uh, I hope he gets 10 years." "Banking asks a great deal of an individual." "It says,"Here's all this money." "Don't... steal it."" "We are insured for this sort of thing, so it's not the money, it's just..." "I sat next to him for years, and, uh, he seemed perfectly normal." "Sort of, good-old John." "Ah!" "Ahh!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Ooh!" "Ooh!" "Ooooooh." "Ooh... ooh... ooh." "Ahhh!" "Great." "You split my fucking lip." "Good morning." "What can I get for you?" "Uh, I'll have an espresso with, um... with a small pastry or a croissant." "We only do a croissant with the continental breakfast." "Uh, just -- just give me a coffee." "One coffee." "And for you, sir?" "He'll have a coffee." "It makes it easier, okay?" "It makes it faster." "I worked it out." "If I don't speak English, the men, they -- they fall faster." "Look, they don't blame you." "When a bank employee does this, they -- they understand." "You get your life back." "Hmm." "Anyway, I bet " " I bet you hated the bank, huh?" "Why else would you send off for me?" "I-if you just wanted sex, just go to a prostitute." "Well, as it turns out, I did." "Ahh!" "" " Here we are." "" " Lovely." "" " Splendid." "Thank you." "" " I don't want it." "Take it back." "I'll " " I'll have it." "" " Lovely." "" " Pleasure." "Oh, excuse me." "Um..." "Where are we?" "Uh, we're just outside Newbury." "Do you know where the nearest police station is?" "Um, that would be Marlborough." "Two junctions in that direction." "One or two." "I can't remember." "So about five or ten minutes?" "Five or ten minutes." "Not far." "Lovely." "Perfect." "Thanks." "" " Pleasure." "" " Thank you." "John, uh..." "John, I -- I need your help." "Ooh." "You must think I'm the biggest pillock in the world." "I know you just want to punish me." "I do." "I want to very badly." "So, what, y-y-you're -- you're just going to be... vindictive!" "In every sense." "If at all possible." "You can't hurt me more than I'm hurt already." "Well, Nadia, if it's all the same to you," "I'd like to give it a bash." "My name is not Nadia." "John, in Russia, there is no work for women." "Sometimes you get drawn into something." "You don't know how it's going to end." "" " Here we go." "" " What?" "No, go on." "I've been actually looking forward to this bit." "What?" ""It's so hard in Russia in winter that we have to eat each other." ""It's so cold that we have to go to England and shag people to keep warm."" "I'm just saying -- the life there for women is very hard." "No, I'm sure." "The rest of the world is not like St. Albans, John." "Well, thank Christ for that." "So..." "Alexei -- which I know isn't his name -- " " He will be back." "" " I beg your pardon?" "He left me my ticket and passport." "It's pretty clear he wants to see me again." "Yeah, actually, yes." "Yeah." "I tend to tie up and abandon women I really want to see again, too." "No, but you tie them up." "Well, I was queuing up at the checkout, and I think I put my bag on the floor..." "All right, would you like to give me some details, love?" "" " Where's the toilet?" "" " What?" "I'm going to be sick." "Where's the toilet?" "" " No, you're not." "" " I am going to be sick!" "Nice one." "How stupid do you think I am?" "Where's the toilet?" "The what, love?" "Where's the toilet?" "Through that door, up the stairs, and it's just on the left." "You're pregnant..." "aren't you?" "Can I help you?" "Hmm?" "Sir?" "Can I help you?" "Hmm... no." "Thank you." "...And finally, a St. Albans bank clerk is on the run today after stealing 90,000 in broad daylight from his own branch." "John Buckingham, who lived alone and had been with the branch for over 10 years, was described by bosses as a "workhorse."" "Now police are on the lookout for a bright orange..." "Oh, Jesus." "We'd better get off this motorway." "" " You got your passport?" "" " Yes." "" " When's your flight?" "" " It's tomorrow." "I want you to know -- I appreciate this." "I'm sorry you're a fugitive from justice." "John " "So when you were a little girl, you know, running around Russia with your binoculars on, did you think," ""When I grow up, I want to fuck loads of strange men," ""steal their homes, jobs, and their dignity," ""but what I really want to do" ""is I want to end up on my own, flat-broke, knocked up, bun in the oven, back to Moscow on an Aeroflot"?" "So tell me, John... did you say, "When I grow up," ""what I want is to still be in this town," ""in this job that I hate, in a house with ants," ""and a big bag of pornography," ""and then I'm going to send off to Russia for a wife, and she will fall in love with me"?" "What did you expect, John?" "What did you really expect to happen?" "Hey, John, they're looking for this car." "This is not a very good plan." "Dear Nadia." "You are only girl in world." "I dream-to talk." "What will happen?" "How far is the airport?" "What are we going to do, John?" ""This newly built,2-bedroom villa is peacefully seated" ""in a hillside above the stone-walled village harbour." "It has its own swimming pool."" "Ah, shit." "I have no more cigarettes." "So what happened between you and the blonde?" "What?" "The, uh, the short -- the one with the small eyes." "The one in your cupboard." "Hmm?" "It's none of your business." "She didn't have small eyes." "Did she leave you?" "Come on." "Hmm?" "It's nothing to be ashamed of." "Did she leave you?" "Who'd she leave you for?" "Her boss?" "Your best friend?" "A woman!" "She's dead." "Oh, I'm sorry." "I'm sorry, I, uh..." "I... don't know why I said that." "She's not dead at all." "She's not -- " " What?" "!" "" " Um..." "I don't know why I said it." "I'm sorry." "She's alive?" "Laugh it up." "Go on." "You should stop smoking." "You're pregnant, and you smoke like a bastard." "" " I'm trying to quit." "" " Well, it's not working." "I smoke more when I'm unhappy." "Nobody's that unhappy." "Well, maybe I want to die." "Don't you want me to die?" "I don't want anyone to die." "Oh, except for "Small Eyes."" "Except for "Small Eyes."" "So why did it end?" "I don't know." "Mm." "What was her name?" "What's your name?" "Mm..." "I've got three hours." "Maybe I can buy you a coffee." "No." "I-I shouldn't be here anyway." "I think " " I think I'd better just go." "What are you going to do?" "Uh..." "I don't know." "I got this, uh..." "This is for you." "Yeah?" "No, thanks." "No." "Please." "Why not, huh?" "Goodbye." "Would all passengers traveling on BCC Air Flight 003 to Dusseldorf please proceed immediately to Gate 19, where the flight is now boarding." "Excuse me." "Could you please tell us where to get the bus to -- to Tate Gallery?" "" " T ate Gallery?" "" " Yeah." "" " Excuse me." "" " Just a minute, sir." "Excuse me." "Sorry." "Excuse me." "Sorry." "Excuse me." "To the Skye Grand Hotel, across the way." "Fuck!" "The Skye Grand Shuttlebus..." "Two Russians just came past w-w-with a woman." "Which room are they in?" "I'm sorry, sir." "I'm afraid we can't give out room numbers." "It's just that she -- she left something -- she left something in -- in my cab." "We'll make sure she gets them." "Excuse me." "Two Russians are staying here." "Do you know which floor they're on?" "Yes." "I know which floor they're on." "And " " And, um..." "Which floor would that be?" "We've only got one floor." "Thanks." "... So easy to leave me" "All alone with the memory..." "Oh, Jesus." "Oh, Jesus!" "So you came back to rob me?" "Is that it?" "So now we're even." "I panicked." "I'm sorry we're square." "I love you." "I've still got my ticket home or Spain?" "Come with us..." "Just one last time." "Okay!" "John!" "What are you doing?" "!" "Huh?" "!" "What the fuck is john doing here?" "Be careful." "That's the cigarette lighter I gave you for Christmas, isn't it?" "Don't hurt him." "What do you care?" "He came here with me" "You mean..." "You mean you're together?" "No we're not." "I told you." "I knew I knew something was going on." "You don't know anything." "and you don't own me." "If you love him so much" "Let's see you do it." "do it." "What's he saying?" "Come on." "Show me." "Don't do this." "I'll make a big mess here." "You know I'll do it." "Ahhh!" "You hate me." "You hate me." "And I showed you the world." "Don't leave me here." "At least leave me my share." "Your money's in his coat." "Passengers traveling on Flight 461 to Moscow, please proceed to Departure Gate 4." "Your flight is now boarding." "Are you okay?" "Yeah." "Okay." "Goodbye." "Goodbye." "So, what are you gonna do?" "I don't know..." "something else." "Promise?" "Promise." "Goodbye." "This isn't mine." "It's not mine, either." "I don't want it." "" " I can't take it." "" " Just..." "I..." "Y-You could spend it on the baby." "You know You're always surprising me." "You know when I said that I didn't speak Russian?" "I wasn't actually just making that up." "I-It's a long way to go for a date." "I know." "Gate closing for Flight 1311 to Moscow..." "But..." "I don't know you." "And I don't know you, either." "What will happen?" "Alexei?" "Fuck a Duck." "Airport!" "Airport!" "Give me the coat." "" " What?" "" " Just give me it." "You say "yes," hmm?" "" " Say "da." " " Da." "Are you Ok?" "Da." "Are you scared?" "Da." "Are you a giraffe?" "Da." "My name is Sophia." "Sophia." "Hello, Sophia." "Mine's still John." "Hello, John." "I know I stand in line until you think" "You have the time to spend an evening with me" "And if we go someplace to dance" "I know that there's a chance you won't be leaving with me" "Then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place" "And have a drink or two" "And then I go and spoil it all" "By saying something stupid like "I love you"" "I can see it in your eyes" "You still despise the same old lines" "You heard the night before" "And though it's just a line to you" "For me it's true" "And never seemed so right before" "I practice every day" "To find some clever lines to say" "To make the meaning come true" "But then I think I'll wait until the evening gets late" "And I'm alone with you" "The time is right Your perfume fills my head" "The stars get red and, oh, the night's so blue" "And then I go and spoil it all" "By saying something stupid like "I love you"" "The time is right Your perfume fills my head" "The stars get red and, oh, the night's so blue" "And then I go and spoil it all" "By saying something stupid like "I love you"" "I love you" "I love you" "I love you" "I love you" "I love you" "I love you" "The End"