"( sighs )" "So did you like the movie?" "I think the movie was good." "Yeah." "It was very entertaining." "What about you?" "I liked it." "It wasn't what I expected." "Too many people in this... in this movie theater." "Yeah?" "I don't do very well in-- with crowds." "( laughs ) I know." "It was great, you know, very well done, very well done." "And the way he describes, you know, the different steps that led him to do that-- that's what's interesting." "It's a documentary kind of movie." "I thought it wasn't going to happen." "They kept saying, "Oh, we're not gonna get away with this."" "And they did." "I was surprised." "Yeah, it was good." "Would you watch it again?" "Yeah." "Sorry to interrupt." "Have you decided on a wine this evening?" " Yes." " What would you like?" "Can--?" " red is good for you?" " Yeah." "Can we get a bottle of--?" "The first time he asked for money was two years ago." "The second time-- six months ago." "And now, two days ago, he's asking for some more." "And he's a friend." "And, you know, I help him." "But it's a lot of money we're talking about." "And it never ends." "So what do I do?" "What would you do?" "It sounds like he's taking advantage of you." "It's good to see you." "It's always good to see you." "Thank you." "Come here." "MAN:" "Attaboy." "Get 'em." "Get 'em." "Good." "20, 19, 18, 17." "Focus." "16, 15, 14..." "Two." "Good stall here." "Good stall." "Beautiful, Zizzo." "Drop it down." "Attaboy." "Good set." "Ow." " I'm just kidding." " How're you feeling?" " All right." " Eat your Wheaties this morning?" " My Wheaties?" " Yeah." "I had my muscle milk this morning, Wheaties after." "So what's going down?" "What's new?" "You want to hear everything or just recent things?" "Let's start at two or three and work your way up." "Let me ask you a question." "Yeah." "What are you doing this weekend?" "What am I doing this weekend?" "No, the other trainer I'm working with." " I don't know." "I don't know." " I do." "MAN:" "Chelsea, I'm ordering breakfast." "Do you know what you want?" "I'll just have whatever you're having." "Thank you." "What about the bailout?" "How do you think that's going to turn out?" "That's not gonna work." "You need more money in the system, a lot more money than what the government is putting in." "It's just the beginning." "So I don't know what to tell you." "I think it's better to stay cash and... that's what I do anyway, so it's good for me." "No it's not." "( speaking French )" "I'm out of here." "Thank you very much." " I hope I'll see you soon." " Me too." " Take care." " You too." "CHELSEA'S VOICE:" "I met with Philip on October 5th and 6th." "I wore a Michael Kors dress and shoes with La Perla" "I wore a Michael Kors dress and shoes with La Perla lingerie underneath and diamond stud earrings." "We met at 7:30 at the hotel and had a drink downstairs." "He liked my dress but didn't go into detail why and didn't mention anything else about my appearance." "MAN:" "So how did it go?" "It was fine." "We had a nice dinner, you know, went back to the hotel." "But he's very well endowed and sometimes I just can't handle him that long." "Lucky for me, though, he's attractive, so that helps and I at least enjoy myself." "But it was weird when I left." "He didn't even stand up to hug me or say goodbye or kiss me on the cheek." "It was a very awkward departure." "He's never done that before." "CHELSEA'S VOICE:" "We ate dinner at Blue Hill." "Philip didn't ask for a menu and had the chef serve us a five-course meal, a different wine with each course." "We went to the 9:40 showing of "Man on Wire"" "at the Sunshine Cinema." "And he liked the movie." "We went back to the hotel and talked for half an hour, mostly about a friend of his that keeps borrowing money from him and not paying it back." "Then we had sex for about an hour." "After, we talked about" "After, we talked for about 15 minutes and he fell asleep." "At breakfast he briefly told me his worries regarding the economy and said I should invest my money in gold." "He also mentioned a book about how the Federal Reserve works." "He didn't make another appointment." "Sometimes clients think they want the real you, but at the end of the day they don't." "They want what they want you to be." "They want you to be something else." "They don't want you to be yourself." "Suppose I'm that rare client that really wants to-- if they wanted you to be yourself, they wouldn't be paying you." "I know you've been buying five sessions at a time." "Right." "You realize you're losing money by doing that, right?" "But I'm taking it as it goes, you know?" "I know." "I hear that." "The whole thing is is, like, if you buy more sessions, obviously you're gonna save a lot more money." "I think our relationship is good." "You're liking what we're doing." " You do a great job." " You're feeling good." "You're looking good." "You've gained five lbs. of muscle." " You're on your way to a six-pack." " I'm trying." "I don't think our relationship is going to end soon." "So my suggestion is let's have you buy a bigger package-  like 25 or 50." " What did I do last time?" "10?" " You did five." " That went quick." "So if you did 25 or 50, you'd be saving, like, 20 bucks per session." "So you're looking at saving $400." "And I know times are a little crazy, but that's my point." "I know what I pay for five." "What's it go up to from there?" "You pay $150 for five." "And you'll end up paying $125" "If you end up getting 25 sessions." "You are the beautiful, young ingenue accompanying" "Let me ask you a question." "Not to pry, but you guys" "I mean, you guys are hurting." "Everybody's hurting right now." "How do you--?" "You're gonna spend money?" "You're going to do this?" "Self-medicating." "Don't worry about that." "I'm go?" "If I was hurting, I wouldn't go." "I can't afford to go to Vegas." "You don't have to afford to go to Vegas." "I can afford for you to go to Vegas." "We all can afford for you to go to Vegas." "In fact, we almost can't afford for you not to go." "You gotta come, dude, seriously." "All right, let me see what I can do." "( doorbell rings )" "Hi, Chris." "Package for you." "Thank you very much." "Have a good day." "Thanks." "I'm starving." "CHELSEA:" "How was work?" "Work was good-- a little crazy." "I trained Zizzo." "He was trying to convince me to go" "To some crazy trip in Vegas." "Vegas?" "Yeah, boys' trip to Vegas this weekend." "I told him I didn't think you'd approve of that." "Do you get bored of just talking to rich people?" "It can get tedious." "It can get tedious?" "Why?" "It can." "You really have to adapt and become something that they want." "Oh, God." "I mean, do you find yourself caring at all?" "I do." "I think you're getting a little worked up about it, though." "Because the economy is fucked." "And my business is fucked." "I'm making 1/10 of what I made two years ago." "It's just getting worse and worse." "And this is something that is gonna fucking fall by the wayside if I can't get it together." "And I've aged out of the business also." "So I fucking show up on a set and people ask me" "They think I worked on "McHale's Navy" or something." "Did that other show get picked up?" "Yeah, it might have gotten picked up, but it's not a sure thing." "And it's not enough" "To maintain what I'm kind of used to." "You don't think so?" "I can't tell." "I don't know what the fuck's going on in the business anywhere anymore." "( exhales )" "Well, anyway, thanks for listening." "I've been in so many relationships where nobody listens." "I definitely think relationships are about communication, don't you?" "God, totally." "Jesus, that's why we-- it's completely two-way." "We're constantly exchanging kind of what we think." "I mean, that's how people relate." "It's just so fucking ridiculous the way everybody wants something completely one-sided and want something for nothing." "Sorry, my hands are really cold." "It's okay." "I'll warm them up." "MAN:" "Well, my first thought is I do like it." "I do like it." "It's just that, I'll tell you, right now" "It's a tough time for me to start pioneering a new line like this." "The economy right now is really in the toilet." "And we got a store full of stuff." "And we do have stuff that somewhat competes with this type of garment right now." "CHRIS:" "Right." "MAN:" "I'd like to show it real quick to Marvin, just to get an idea of what he thinks." "I'm thinking right now, no." "But I'm thinking maybe down the road we can try it." "Marv, uh... you know, I would definitely" "I'm definitely okay with it being on consignment because it gets a chance to be out on the floor and see how it does." "You guys have a very big store and I'm sure we could find a little bit of space to put the stuff out there." "I know it's going to sell." "I know people are gonna buy it." "This way I'm okay with that." "If it doesn't sell, then I'll take it back." "That's fine." "But I would like to have it out there for the Christmas season" "Because that's when people are buying things." "MAN:" "Everyone has to stop talking and listen." "If we don't close this deal on Friday" "We have to pay a huge, huge penalty." "There's no way this deal's gonna close on Friday." "The whole world is afraid of redemption." "No one knows-- 70% of all hedge funds are gonna be out of business..." "CHELSEA:" "On October 25th I met with Dennis." "We had lunch at Nobu and then went to a hotel room." "During lunch he talked about the financial crisis." "When we got back to the room he immediately got on the phone and ordered some MaCallan 25." "I put on a Kiki de Montparnasse corset, panties and gloves." "The shoes were basic Zara." "After he got off the phone we made out for a while." "Then he asked me to masturbate, which I did." "Then he masturbated watching me." "He made another appointment for November 3rd." "MAN:" "I think one element that could be improved a lot is the photography." "You should have much better pictures." "I have pictures I can give you." "That's not a problem." "Are they really top-quality pictures?" "They should look like "Playboy" pictures." "Yeah, they're perfect." "Yeah?" "Okay." "That's important." "And we could improve the logo and general style of the site, make it look much more high-class." "Okay, I also wanted to" "I don't know exactly how you'd do this, but I would really like it if my site would come up in the search engines." "You know, like" "I don't know exactly how you do that," "But when you Google "escorts," I come up." "It's a little tricky." "It'll take some time." "But one good idea is to get yourself listed in a lot of directories and review sites." "The more links there are to your site, the better your rankings in the search engines are gonna be." " You can do that?" " I can help you with that." "Sure, sure." "But that takes monthly work, if you want to work out a monthly maintenance contract..." "How much?" "You have to continually update it every month." "How much would you charge just to design it?" "About 1500 bucks." "And how soon could you get it done?" "I could only work after hours here, so..." "MAN OVER PHONE:" "Can we sort of start over here?" "I am not trying to tell you how to run your business." "I'm trying to help you enhance your business." "And I think I can do that." "If I didn't think I could do that," "I wouldn't have taken an interest in you." "You seem like a pretty smart girl." "Are you familiar with an escort named Tara?" "I'm not." "Okay, well, you might want to check out" "Some of the stuff that's been posted about this Tara" "On "The Erotic Connoisseur."" "I don't usually like checking out reviews." "Well, let me tell you a little story about what happened to Tara." "Tara is 20 years old, kind of came in here just falling off the turnip truck, doing her own thing." "And when I put up the reviews, her rate started going up." "Do you understand?" "This is making you more upscale than you've ever been." "You think you know an idea of upscale, but what I'm offering you is upscale beyond." "So..." "So anyhow, do you have to develop business skills?" "Who does your books?" "That's something I'd rather not answer, actually." "Well, I'm not gonna-- let's just say, do you keep books?" "I do." "Let's just say I have a few people that help me out." "I'd like to keep it at that." "MAN:" "I think you want to look at this time" "As a time to actually get more invested." "Personally, my wife and I have gotten more aggressive with our family." "We set up a 529 for our young son." "We wanted to get more involved here, because you don't see these levels, these opportunities very often." "If you sit back like everyone else and sell, you're actually going against the grain of what you should be doing-- investing." "It's important." "How's your wife?" "How's Rachel?" "She's well." "She's better." "Thanks for asking." "Yeah, of course." "How's your son?" "He's good too." "Everyone's well." "Every family right now feels stress." "We watch the news." "We watch this Presidential election and this campaigning." "And it's stressful to wonder where our country's going." "Definitely." "I think sometimes you just gotta turn it off." "You just can't even listen to it." "I think, more importantly, you have to look at your career, really." "I see your ledger." "I see your numbers." "You're good at what you do." "You could possibly be the best at what you do." "You're amazing." "But let's not rest on our laurels here." "There's more things you could be doing." "Like what?" "It just seems like everything changes." "A reflection point like this allows you to look at it and see what's changed." "I asked you to meet with Michael for that exact reason." "I think he has a really good view of what's going on in your market and could take you to the next level." "What exactly does he want?" "What exactly does he do?" "MICHAEL:" "What differentiates you from those other women is what's gonna make these other businesses grow for you." "So I do understand it, but I just wanted to say that." "Besides that, there's other things." "There's so many things that you can do that will allow you to continue having your anonymity, but you can continue to grow your business." "Here's an example-- do you really think some woman would want to take her 16-17-year-old daughter to my boutique if they knew I was an escort?" "If it was a sex boutique and it was a couple, that'd be a different story, but that's not what I'm interested in." "I'm not trying to be insensitive to that." "I get that." "I'm just trying to make sure you understand there's an opportunity lost if you don't take advantage of that." "In what other ways could I do that where I'm safe?" "Well, like, you could write a book." "We could do a movie about your life." "Right now that's really hot." "People are making movies like that." "MICHAEL:" "There's Tara right there." "Tara." "Sugar!" " Darling, how are you?" " How are you?" "Very well." "Good to see you." " This is Chelsea." " Hi." "Nice to meet you." "I have to get out of here." "Thanks for lunch." " It was nice to see you." " You too." "We have about 20 minutes." "Want to grab a quick drink?" " I'd love a drink right now." " Let's do it." " So how was your flight?" " It was good." " Where are you staying?" " I'm staying over at the "W."" "Yeah, it's really depressing." "Well, you know, you're successful, you're very creative." "I'm sure there's plenty more opportunities" " in front of you" " Yeah, I know, I know." "I know, but it's" "I don't really want to talk about it," "But it's just bad out there." "I mean, if I" "You know, two holes in the ground that were gonna be buildings, now the banks have-- you know, it's just a bad time." "I have a big office." "But that's just-- it's why I'm a little..." "I don't want to leave." " MAN:" "Hi." " Hi." "Here." "You can just put that right there." "Thank you." "Um..." "I haven't seen you in almost two weeks now." " Yeah, that's a long time, right?" " I know." "God." "( sighs )" " It's good to see you." " It's good to see you, too." "How long have I been coming here?" "Two and a half years...?" "God..." "Two and a half years." " CHELSEA:" "It's not that long." " It's not that long?" "No." "Feels like a-- feels like..." "Doesn't feel like a long time." "It's been fun," "But it feels like you're a big part of my life, you know?" "I look up and suddenly you're a big part of my life." "I'd like to think so." " Yeah?" " Yeah." "( sighs ) Yeah." "You have a lot of makeup on today." " Do I?" " Yeah." "I like it, it's just..." "Someone else have you do that, or did you just do it on your own?" " I did it myself." " Yeah?" "This is how it usually is." "CHELSEA'S VOICE:" "On October 18th I met with Dan." "I wore a vintage black cashmere sweater," "Earnest sewn jeans and Pour La Victoire boots." "Dan talked the entire time." "We didn't have sex." "He was very upset about a contract his firm lost to I.M. Pei." "He set a date for Tuesday." "MAN:" "So they gave us a booth" "And they started doing the bottle service, and they started just bringing all this shit." "We were totally hammered." "As we're leaving, some other manager comes in and decides not to comp it." "It was, like, 10 grand." "10 grand was our bar bill." " Are you fucking kidding me?" " Isn't that sick?" "That's a big bar bill." "( laughs )" "Oh, I'm sure it was a lot of champagne, wine." "I don't even know." "There was a little ring of us." "Then it grew." "And by the time there was that outer ring," "I think strangers were just ordering buckets of beer" " and champagne and shit." " Oh my God." "It was so fun, though." "I think he charges the movie." "She needs to get one of those-- what do they call those things?" "It's like a vaporizer." "She did." "It didn't last long." "Didn't get her high enough?" "I don't know what it was." "DAVID:" "My buddy tried one, but he didn't like it." "He's been smoking a long time and he missed the burn and the coughing in the lungs." "He needed it." "The clean thing wasn't enough for him." "Chelsea?" " Hi." " Hello." "I thought that was you." "Hi." "I'm Ken." " How are you?" "David." " Hi, David." "I'm just taking off, but I thought I'd say hi." "DAVID:" "See you." "And how's Sheila?" "She's doing good." "She's doing good." "There's always gonna be old people too," "No matter what's going on with the economy." "She's doing okay, still at the center, even though she's a little afraid that, you know" "Cutbacks, recession, depression" "They might lose their funding." "But that's a long way off." "We should get together soon." "Yeah, we should get together." "I think she'd like that again." "That'd be nice." "You know, there's not a lot of couples like you guys." "I agree." "There's not a lot of couples like us." "A lot of people think they can separate love from sex." "And when they get into it... they're intimidated, their emotions arise, they get jealous." "With you guys, it's simple." " Chris." " Jess, nice to meet you." "Nice to meet you." "Come into my office." " How're you doing?" " Great." "This place is beautiful." "CHRIS'S VOICE:" "Are you guys looking at expansion?" "From the looks of this place, it looks like you're well-funded." "You already have four locations." "How aggressive are you about finding other locations?" "We do not want to take over the world." "But we do want to expand our facilities." "We want about 10 clubs in the area, but we certainly don't want to take over the world." "We want to maintain a boutiquelike style-- of operating style" "So that we can cater to each member." "So many of the corporate monsters out there are very rigid in their policies, and that's the last thing that we want to do." "The problem is with gyms is it's hard for the-- a" " I have to take care of my client, but b" " I need the facility to take care of my client." "They're with me for one hour, but they're in the gym for the whole year." "I'm liking, I think, that I hear that that's very important to you guys." "Yes?" "Absolutely." "Absolutely." "If you look at the club alone, it's a $15-million facility." "so we have to maintain retention with our members." "So if we're not getting results, guess what-- they're gone." "I was wondering if we could do something where I could start working with you more-- not just doing my sessions where I'm getting a piece of them, but something where I could help you train the trainers" "or manage the place, and you could cut me a base salary." "I just have to start doing more for myself, you know." "I've gone out and checked some other places out and felt some people out and" "You've looked at other places?" "After all the times I've helped you out here you've looked at other places?" "I mean, again, I just looked, just to feel out what I was gonna say to you." "And I'm here to you first, obviously." "How do you feel about the other places?" "I mean, look, I've been working with you a long time." "I don't want to leave here." "But at the same time I need to do something now." "I need to step it up." "I've been doing this for too long, man." "Right now is not exactly the best time" "To start hitting people up for more money." "I know that." "I know that." "But that's exactly almost why I have to." "Because I don't know how much worse things are gonna get." "Or hopefully they turn around and get better." "I don't know." "But all I do know is I've been doing this long enough to where I need a change." "If it's gonna be with you guys, I would love to do that." "And if it's not, I understand, but then I have to move on." "You're talking about more of a management role, taking a piece of the profits, stuff like that." "I've been trying for weeks just to get you to wear the shirts." "And you can't even pass along with me on that." "I got to be honest with you, Bill, I'm not a uniform guy." "I mean, I love the gym." "I just don't love the T-shirts." "But if I have to wear a T-shirt to be on the team, I'll do that." "That's what I mean-- more of a team role." "I don't see you in that role." "I don't get that feeling from you." "I get you're more of an outsider, more of an independent fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of guy." " Hi, how can I help you?" " What's your cheapest prepaid phone?" "Cheapest prepaid?" "Let me show you." "This is $110." "You get 200 minutes and nights and weekends free." "$110 and I only get 200 minutes?" " Yeah." " I'll give you $80 for it." "No, our cost is $95." "I can't give you for $80." "Then I'll take $95, and I'll buy two." "No, I can give you $100 if you want." "Okay, that's fine." "I'll take two then." "Hi, David." "This is Chelsea." "Hi." "You're real." "You can never tell with these websites." "( chuckles ) So I checked out your information and I see that you're a writer and your company is in L.A. Is that where you live as well?" "Yeah, I live in L.A. I'm just in for a couple days." "Do you travel a lot?" "I do, you know, project to project." "I just go wherever they're shooting." "I'm in New York, like, five times a year." "What kind of writer are you?" "Screenwriter." "So what are you looking forward to?" "Do you have anything specific in mind?" "Well, you know, after looking at your site" "I'd just really love to get together with you." "I'm just feeling kind of stressed out." "I should probably see a shrink," "But it seems more fun to see you." "Why don't you tell me about yourself?" "Are you married?" "Do you have kids?" "Yes and yes and no comment." "How many kids do you have?" "I have two little girls." "Don't make me feel bad, though." "I won't." "Would you like to meet tomorrow?" "Yes, I would," "But tomorrow is my screening and my dinner." "That's what I'm in for." "So I can't do it tomorrow." "And I leave Friday morning." "How about tonight?" "I can't do it tonight." "Really?" "Have you ever even seen an escort before?" "No, this is my first time." "Is it that clear?" "Well, no, it's just that I have this policy that I usually don't see a client unless they've been with an escort." "You know" "Do you make exceptions?" "Actually, I was just going to tell you that I was looking at your birthday and it actually coincides with mine really well." "Let me see if I could push some things around." "CHELSEA'S VOICE:" "We clicked." "There was something there." " And I told him that" " WOMAN:" "You told him that?" "I told him that I was going out of town for the weekend." " Right." " And he didn't like that at all." "And what really set it off was when he insulted me about my, you know-- all my personology books." "Right." "I had a feeling he didn't support me in my belief." "And I found out last night for sure." "So you found out last night that he's not into astrology?" "It's not astrology." "Are you gonna do this to me too?" " It kind of is." " It's not." "20,000 people-- that's more than just reading star signs." "I definitely think it's important." "It's critical to have somebody who supports you." "But it's important to, you know" "I don't want to be negative, 'cause I think that feeling when you connect with a client is the best feeling in the world." "I don't want to be sort of down on that." "It's funny because I wanted to get away from my parents." "I didn't want to depend on them." "I didn't want their money." "That's more than half the reason" "I started doing this in the first place." "I have a lot of money saved up, and I won't completely feel like I'm dependent on him," " monetarily at least." " Right." "But he made me feel happy." "And I want to know if that's something that will continue or if it won't." "CHRIS:" "Do you really believe what's coming out of your mouth?" "You think-- what do you think?" "Let me guess-- this guy's married." "Does he have a family?" "What do you think's gonna happen?" "You're gonna go away this weekend... something magical is gonna happen?" "He's gonna go home to his wife-- who he's cheating on by the way-- and say, "Hey, Honey, guess what?" "I spent three days with a hooker, and guess what--"" "I don't know what's going to happen." "And that's the point." "I know what's gonna happen." "You know what's gonna happen?" "You're gonna go on your little trip, all right?" "And when he's done playing with you because he's having a midlife crisis, he's gonna leave you and go back to his normal, great life with his wife and his family and he's gonna leave you high and dry." "And guess what-- then you're gonna come back here, and there's no here anymore." "And you'll be stuck with you and your books, alone." "I promise you that." "I wish I would've known you felt like that." "MAN:" "So that's it?" "Just fucking blindsides you out of nowhere?" "Blindsides me out of nowhere, walks in and," ""I am going away with somebody and it's over." "That's the end of it."" "Buddy, listen." "I feel for you." "From fucking everything you told me about this girl, you loved her." "You were happy." "This was the thing." "So for that I feel for you." "But, honest to God, good fucking riddance." " It's not good riddance." " It is good riddance." "It's the first girl in as long as I can remember that I really care about-- cared about." "Let me tell you, all women ultimately are evil." "They're the worst species." "They're worse than fucking hyenas, because they have all the power." " I'm sensing a little frustration from you." " They have all the power." "And they know this." " CHELSEA:" "Do you ever listen to Jim Rome?" " DAVID #2:" "Yeah, I love Rome." "CHELSEA:" "He always talks about Charles Barkley, and he had a bill at some club in Vegas for 15 grand in alcohol." "And he was like, "It was just an accident." "I forgot to pay it."" "He walked out on it?" "No, it was just like he said, "put it on my tab,"" "and never paid it, honestly just forgot to pay it." " DAVID #2:" "Sure, Charles." " ( laughing )" "Sock down $15,000 worth of booze and then waltz out of the door." "Then he repeats it, like, five times." "You see that when they hand you that funnel cake with the powdered sugar on it." "It's all hot and crispy." "You think, "this is gonna be great."" "INTERVIEWER:" "I guess what I'm building up to is I'm trying to see the role that this guy plays in your life-- not necessarily your relationship between him" "I'm not interested in the intimate details between these two people-- you and your boyfriend." "I'm interested in the kind of relationship somebody in your business would have with somebody they actually love." "Let me speak with him and see how he feels about it." "This journalist mark is actually really nice." "He's a little intrusive, but" "Intrusive?" "How so?" "He's a journalist, so that's his job, right?" "It's just I'm not used to that really." "He wants to meet you." " He wants to meet me?" " Mm-hmm." "What does he want to meet me for?" "He's never met an escort that is in a committed relationship." "WOMAN:" "He just continues to keep asking me out." "He's even talked about my boyfriend too, like if I say" "I feel like he's gonna be like, "Oh... bring your boyfriend out, or we can do this,"" "and, "if your boyfriend's away..."" "I know guys that do stuff like that" "He'll have you bring the boyfriend out but then hit on you the whole time..." " Exactly." " That you're with him anyway." "So it doesn't even matter if I tell him I have a boyfriend or not." "So, I mean..." "I don't know what to do." "I'm gonna keep training him and continue to blow him off nicely, but I'm at a loss right now." "That's like the worst situation." "I've been there before, but for girls it's so much worse." "Just kick the crap out of him every time you see him." "Make him throw up, so he can't think about asking you out and then he'll start to hate you." "I hope so." " Either that or get in really good shape." " That's true too." "And then you might want to go out with him." "I don't know about that." "I'm not sure about that." "You can make him over, like a work in progress." " Hi." " Hi." "May I help you?" "Glenn wouldn't happen to be here, would he?" "Yes, right this way." "( knocks on door )" "Glenn, someone to see you." " Ah, Miss Chelsea, I presume." " Thanks." "Thanks, Dad." " What the fuck is up?" " Hello." "So how do you like what I haven't done with the place?" "Uh..." "This is your place?" "It's kind of a nice setup." "I've got a little deal with Pater there." "So you're supposed to be a "sophisticated escort," I read." "Would you like a little Schoenberg?" "( bangs keys )" "I could improvise on it for hours." "Ahem" "So what's on the menu?" "What would you like to know?" "Well, it's not so much what I'd like to know." "It's what I'd like to feel." "But again..." "I don't think you really understand what I can do for you if this goes well." "I trust you've looked at my site again." "You've seen some of the girls who are the stars of "The Erotic Connoisseur."" "I've got a very big project coming up that I think, if this works out, you'd be perfect for." "I'm organizing a junket, such as it is, to Dubai." "You know Dubai?" "Lots of money." "Very tall buildings." "Arab people with cash flowing out of their water faucets." "I'm gonna take a bunch of girls to Dubai." "Everybody there says that the Russian hookers are the best." "I want to convince the Dubai elites that it's best to buy American." "It's very-- it's all on the up and up." "The great thing about the whole project is that it sounds like a white slavery ring, but it's not." "And again, I think this could be something that really ups your profile, gets you more money." "I want to help you." "And you can help me help you by giving me a little bit of a sense of what you're like to be with." "How does this trip to Dubai exactly benefit you?" "It benefits everybody." "I've got some people out there who set up the capital." "We go out there totally first-class all the way-- private jet, champagne... ( sing-song voice ) cocaine" "All sorts of yummy yummy things." "We're out there." "We spend a week." "On your off-hours you do whatever you like." "But on your on-hours I bring you to men who will pay $2500, $3500, $10,000 just for the pleasure of shaking your hand." "And then it goes from there." "If you want a piece of this, it might be... ( sighs ) in your interest to give me some play." "We talked about review copy, as it were." "I'd like to see what it's like to be with someone as breathtaking as you are." "Here I have... a new, hygienic, lovely Q-tip." "And maybe... to get a better sense of something, you could take this Q-tip and swab it a bit on your treasure part... give it to me, whereupon I will take a little taste, and in this fashion," "I will be able to discern whether your treasure part tastes like fresh maple syrup poured onto a hot-off-the-griddle piece of French toast on the one hand, or... a salt lick doused in chlorine on the other." "You see, this is the thing." "This is the kind of wordplay the kind of vivid verbal imagery that makes "The Connoisseur" the connoisseur." "GIRLFRIEND:" "Oh, God." "How'd it go?" "Thank you." "Not so well." "But I don't really want to go into that." "I dealt with that and I just want to leave it there." "But when I came home, I tried calling Chris, 'cause I really needed him and he wasn't there." "And meet you-- like, meet and talk to you Wednesday?" "Mm-hmm." "Okay, what is that gonna entail?" "Hopefully more money." "He said he could help increase my rate." "That's what he said?" "What did he say in relation to the other girl?" "He said he reviewed her and she did really well." "INTERVIEWER:" "Do you ever get intimidated by other women's bodies that are in competition with you?" "Not at all." "I'm very happy with what I have." "You look great, but this is a high-stress business, right?" " You know?" " True." "I mean, there's always somebody else." "( street drummer plays throughout )" " Hi, how are you?" " Good." "Thank you." " Hi there, how are you?" " Hi." "Good." "( drumming continues )" "Yeah, so what did he say about that?" "You know how Philip was acting really strange the other day?" "Yeah." "Now I know why." "Why?" "Or I think I know why." "I was shopping today." "And I saw him and some girl outside who I've never seen." "I think it's that new girl, the one the hobbyist was talking about." "Oh, that new girl." "You think it was her." "What'd she look like?" "Similar to me." "She had long brown hair, thin, pale skin." "She's taller, though." "And that upsets you, of course." "Listen to me." "I don't know how much this hobbyist is playing this to his own favor-- you guys against each other, the new girl in the street-- to help himself out and try to get a freebie off you." "And, honestly, can I tell you something?" "You are the best at everything you do, okay?" "And just because there's some new girl-- there's always going to be new girls that come on the scene, but nobody does what you do, okay?" "So please do me a favor and do not let it stress you out." "I know you're competitive and want to be the best, but you are the best." " Thank you." " You're welcome." "Can you get me another drink?" "Yes, I can get you another drink." "Excuse me, guys." "I'll take a ginger ale and whatever looks like a vodka something." " What's going on, brother?" " CHRIS:" "Nothing much." " Nice to meet you." " MAN:" "Heavy date?" "I'm trying to cheer my girl up." "Not my date." "It's my girlfriend." "That's all right." "She's having a bad day." "MAN #2:" "He's been checking her out." " CHELSEA: "buy me." - ( DAVID #2 laughs )" "We're having a conversation with this one here." "Oh, yes?" "He's done very well, as you can see." " DAVID #2:" "A lot of red dots in that book." " A lot of red dots." "Actually, that one is available." "I love that one." "Kind of reminds me of a crown." "CHELSEA:" "When I went to meet him, he listened." "He made me feel a way I haven't felt with Chris since the first couple months of being with him, and probably more so than that." "Yeah, I mean, that's great." "I love that when it happens with a client-- you meet somebody and there's like a real connection." "It is different." "A client's different from a boyfriend." "It's a different kind of relationship." "There's boundaries there where it's just a little bit artificial, whereas what you have with Chris is really-- it's a real relationship." "MAN ON TV:" "This is not the end." "This is not the worst." "I think it's going to get much worse before it gets better." "If I hear one more thing about this debate, I'm gonna throw up." "If I hear the word "Maverick" one more time, I'm gonna throw up." "INTERVIEWER:" "There could be somebody who just really wants the real you, right?" "I mean, the real you." "In other words, that's a lot of money for a short period of time." "You don't want to get the fake diamond." "You want to get the real diamond." "What else do you want to know?" "Another blind alley here." "It's the story of my life." "DAVID #2:" "So listen, the idea of going home this weekend is really starting to bum me out." "And I'm thinking a crazy thought." "I'm thinking I'm not going to." "You have any big plans this weekend?" "Want to spend the weekend together?" "Yeah." "Good." "You want to get out of town?" "Okay, I'm gonna take care of some things" "I need to do on Friday morning." "I'm gonna send a car for you, take you to this place in the Hudson Valley I know about." "It's called Monteverde." "And I'm gonna meet you up there in the afternoon." "We'll spend the weekend together and see where this thing goes." "Okay." "It's a plan?" "CHELSEA:" "About a year ago I found these books on personology." "So the first thing I ask a client-- or one of the first things at least-- is when is their birthday." "And that helps me see if this person is going to put me in danger, if they're gonna be a risky business decision." "INTERVIEWER:" "So you vet them out by seeing if they have their personal details on the top of their head?" "That's right." "The guy you met-- you mentioned him before-- the guy you met before your boyfriend that you were kind of interested in, he was interested in you." "How did you handle that situation?" "Let's just say I handled it." " Yeah, but" " Or I am handling it." "You are handling it?" "It's still going on?" "What's next?" "Where have you been?" " I've been out." " Out where?" "I've been calling-- I haven't heard from you in hours." "I just had my phone turned off." "I've been freaking out, calling you incessantly." "Get that for me." "It broke." "Where have you been?" "I told you." "I was out." "It's freezing out there." "Doing what?" "Seeing somebody." "What do you think?" "I think that you've been gone for the entire day without any contact." "I thought" "I didn't know if you got attacked or what." "Are you still gonna take that trip to Vegas?" "I have no idea." "No." "I told them, no, I'm not going to Vegas 'cause you couldn't come." "I don't know" "( sighs ) What is going on?" " Maybe you should." " What does that mean?" "I met somebody today." "You met somebody?" "Okay, what does that mean?" "I want to go away for the weekend." "( stuttering ) I'm sorry, I'm not understanding." "You met somebody today-- a client, right?" "You know our rule is you don't go away with clients." "It's just something I have to do, you know." "No, I don't know." "I don't even know what you're talking about right now." "Who is this client?" "I've actually never met him, but there was something there." "There was definitely something there." "Today was the first day you met him?" "I just said that, didn't I?" "This is just hard for me to suddenly-- you're suddenly going away with someone you met today." "Does this have something to do with your books?" "Yeah, it does." "But that's not the only reason." "There's just something about him." "And there's something I feel I can't miss" "I can't miss out on." "Okay, let's back up." "Did I do something?" "Is this about me?" "It's just for two days, Chris." "It's for two days." " Okay, I get it." " I don't know what's gonna happen." "Is this because of me talking about Vegas?" "Is this something to get back at me?" "Not at all." "What's this guy's name?" "Don't worry about his name." "What does this mean, you're going away for the weekend?" "I'm just going away for the weekend." "That's it or you're making other plans?" "Look, we've been together for over a year and a half." "I'm gonna need more than just a "hi, how are you doing?"" ""I'm fine." "I'm going away for the weekend." All right?" "You don't even know this guy." "Chris, you know what this means to me." "You know what my books mean to me." "Books." "You know, look," "I was cool with your books 'cause it made you feel comfortable and it made your work easier, but at the end of the day they're books-- written by some guy that probably has never been in a relationship in his life" "and doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about, okay?" " You think so?" " Yeah, I think so." "I knew you felt that way." "Why didn't you just admit it?" " Why didn't you admit it?" " Because you weren't talking about leaving me" "For a guy that you read about in a book, okay?" " I didn't say I was going to leave." " We're not living in a book." " I said we're going away for a weekend." " You and I are real." "It's not just a guideline or a format for my business." "It's for my fucking life." "No, it's" "We are our lives." "Do you understand that?" "What you do for work-- you met a client today." "You didn't meet your soulmate." "You didn't meet some guy you read about in a book, okay?" "I don't know that and you don't know that." "No, I do know that." "You don't spend one day with a guy and destroy over-a-year relationship." "I mean, we live together." "We're just gonna throw that all out?" "I didn't say I was throwing it all out, Chris." "I said I need to find out." "I need to figure this out for myself." "Yeah, well, if you go on this trip, you're throwing it all out, okay?" " You understand that?" " You're so selfish." "There is no going on this trip." "You're incredibly selfish." " What did you say?" "I'm selfish?" " You're selfish." "I'm selfish?" "I've bent over backwards for you" " while you go out and fuck guys for money!" " Don't fucking yell at me." "And I don't do anything." "I sit here like a jerk-off all day." "Don't fucking yell at me." "( ringtone chiming )" " Hello." " Hi, it's David." " Hi." " How are you?" "A little cold." "Listen, Christine," "I've been thinking about you nonstop since we said goodbye." "But I can't come." "What?" "I'm sorry." "I can't come." "I have to go home." "I'm already here." "I'm really sorry." "The room's taken care of, but I just" "I was video-chatting with my kids this morning and the tears just started pouring out of me." "And I realized I have to go home." "CHELSEA:" "That's it?" "I'm sorry." "GLENN:" ""with her smoky eyes, dark straight hair, and perky little body," "Chelsea would appear to have the potential to satisfy in the goth or girl-next-door modes." "Alas, Chelsea seems intent on marketing herself as a sophisticated escort." "With her flat affect, lack of culture and utter refusal to engage, Chelsea couldn't even dazzle the likes of Forrest-fucking-Gump." "And that's just where the problems begin." "Just as her perky little tits seemed to literally shrink at my touch, so too did the connoisseur's cock fail to launch at the clammy touch of her hand and the lukewarm and loose embrace of her mouth." "To quote the great sage Jamie Gillis in 'Misty Beethoven,' 'this number is the Nadir of Passion.'" "A splendid time is absolutely not guaranteed for all."" "# when they leave # # oh, yeah # # everyone's a critic... #" "# whoo-oo-oo... # # ooh-oo-ooh... #" "# oh, yeah #" "( song continues )" "# oh, yeah #" "# you ask me # # to pray with your beads-- #" "( knocks on door )" " Hi." " Hi." "Should I come out or you want to come in?" "How are you?" "Good." "Can I get you anything?" "I'm fine." "So how's your day treating you?" "It's been all right." "Are you sure?" "No." "Want to talk about it?" "I really shouldn't." "But it's just been really bothering me." "Something happen?" "There's this guy who runs a message board and he's really nobody." "And... he wanted to meet me and have sex for the exchange that in return he'll write a good review about me, tell people that I gave him the time of his life, which I already know I do, but" "( laughs )" "I shouldn't talk about this." "I'm sorry." "You can if you want." "He took a Q-tip and he asked me to put it on my vagina." "This guy probably didn't shower for three days." "I'm sorry, I'm really hot." "This guy was just disgusting in every sense of the word." "I'm sorry, I feel really stupid." "I shouldn't be talking about this." "It's okay." "Look, you seem like you need some air." "Do you want to go downstairs?" "You want to take a walk, get a cup of coffee or something?" "( distant siren wails )" "Yeah." "I'd like that." "( silent )" "Could you put us somewhere a little further away from everybody else?" "I have something right over here." "That's better." "Thank you so much." "When somebody-- we agreed to do this, right?" "We agreed to meet here and have this kind of situation, which is a transactional situation like the one you deal with all the time in your business, right?" "Now we're up to this part where I'm asking you something that would actually be interesting to me, and I feel you're holding out on me." "I mean, the thing is that the inner you is really" "I mean, there's-- in this business it's all about appearance, right?" "If you weren't beautiful, nobody'd be paying to bang you, right?" "To put it grossly, right?" "So the thing is that if you weren't beautiful, you wouldn't be in this business." "Is that right?" "Do we agree on that?" "So suppose I like your looks, but I'm really much more interested in the real you because I get a sense from looking at your picture" "I'm not talking about myself, but say somebody else" "I got a feeling looking at your picture and also looking into your eyes right now and the way you're doing that with your hair and the way you're wearing your little outfit there and all that kind of stuff-- and I like your earrings" "and here's somebody I'd like to get to know a little better." "So is that iron door always gonna be closed?" "For most people, yes." "Most?" "It's possible that there might be a crack in that little door you could walk through?" "This kind of thing that you could possibly get through?" "I assume the armor in your situation must be very thick, just because it has to be, right?" "So what kind of guy would it have to be?" "( knocks )" "( beeps )" " Hi, Naim." " Hey, Chelsea." " How are you?" " I'm well." "How are you?" "Good, thank you." " You look lovely." " Thanks." "But it's very important that you vote for McCain-- very important." "I know." "We've had this discussion." "The state of Israel must continue." "He's the man." "Everybody's buying gold 'cause they think it's a good hedge against the stock market." "A friend of mine told me that today, actually said I should invest my money in gold." "People think that you should buy diamonds, but diamonds don't really have a resale value." "Unfortunately, it's a myth." "Gold is the way to go." "( sighs )" "Here." "( shuddering )" "( gasps )" "( sniffles )" "( moans )" "Subtitles by LeapinLar"