"As the year comes to an end, millions await the highly publicized epic battle... between the major Hollywood studios next fall." "It seems they all agree that the bigger the movie, the better." "The Ten Commandments, Paramount's bet, has started production... and is a strong candidate for the Oscars." "With Charlton Heston as Moses, they clearly have an edge." "It would take a Giant to defeat them- and that's exactly what Warner Brothers is making... with Elizabeth Taylor and James Dean in a torrid romance- unless The King and I... a 20th Century Fox musical starring Yul Brynner... takes them by surprise." "On a sad note, after winning its first Best Picture award..." "United Artists has lost one of its founding partners, Mary Pickford... leaving Chaplin and Fairbanks with a heavy task." "How are they going to enter this epic race... when their most ambitious project..." "Jules Verne 's Around the World in Eighty Days... has not even started production?" "Word has it that glamorous, first-time producer Mike Todd... could become the last of his kind... as independent productions are being pushed aside by the system." "Thank you." "Hello." " Thank you so much." " Have a great day." "You too." "Bye." "Hey, Mike." "How do you like Hollywood?" "Well, it's a bit warmer than New York... but the real question is if Hollywood likes me." "They say you're here to meet Elizabeth Taylor." "In her case, I'm quite sure she will." "Sorry I'm late." "I'm still getting used to the size of this city." "Yes, well, let's get started, shall we?" "We're on a tight schedule here." "Miss Taylor." "It's an honor." "Mr. Todd." "That was my father's name." "Please call me Mike." "Mike." "We have several appointments this morning." "And yours-well, it's now half over." "Robert, all I'm here to talk about today... is the biggest event in the history of cinema... since the first movie projection by Lumière." "This is gonna be the biggest, the most entertaining... spectacular and thrilling movie the world has ever seen." "Yes, thank you, Mr. Todd." "We also read Variety." "We know all about your idea." "I mean, who doesn't?" "Now let's hear your proposal." "That is my proposal, Robert." "You see, I want to capture all the beauty there is in the world... and there is no way I could possibly dream of doing that... unless Miss Taylor is a part of this." "I don't know how things are done on the East Coast... but here we'd rather cut to the chase." "Here's the bottom line, Mr. Todd." "Miss Taylor" "Miss Elizabeth Taylor- has an exclusive contract." "I'm not interested in breaking any contracts." "That's why she'd be doing a special appearance." "Frank Sinatra's doing the same thing." "Let me see if I get this." "Your proposal is essentially... to have Hollywood's biggest star in your movie for free." "Mm-hmm." "Yeah." "No wonder your picture's being shut down." "Robert." "You don't have to be mean." "I'm sorry, Liz." "I'm really sorry." "But I mean-This is so atypical." "Well, now, I never said I wanted Miss Taylor for nothing." "Ah." "Okay." "So let's hear your final proposal then." "How would you feel about pulling up to the world premiere... of Around the World in Eighty Days in your own brand-new limousine?" "We'll even make the interior violet to match those lovely eyes." "What happened?" " She fell for it." " Wow." "Really?" " She's in the movie." " Well, maybe not." "But at the premiere, for sure." " I don't get" " You will." " And you'll need to get us another car." " What?" "I'll explain later." "Right now, we need to get ready for John, all right?" "He's got the jitters again." "This time, it could be serious." "Now, any news from Sinatra?" " No, but I got this picture of Mario Moreno." " Who?" " Mexican star." "For the cameo role." " Right, right, right." "Yeah, get him on the next flying donkey to LA." "HELP WANTED" "Dearest ladies and gentlemen of the audience... thank you, thank you." "It is my great pleasure to introduce..." "The Jiménez Sisters!" "I can see fat girls at home!" "Let's see some legs." "Come on." "Have a little respect for the ladies." "Did you say little?" "Get out of here." "Are you talking to me?" "Calm down." "Order, order." "Please." "That's enough." "Calm down, please." "Sir, I'm here about the job." " What's your name?" " Mario." "Mario Moreno." "Where do you live?" "What brings you out here?" "There was supposed to be a boxing match... but the fight was canceled." " Are you any good?" " I get by." "All right." "You're hired as an assistant." "Thank you, sir." "The job is to clean everything after each performance." "Especially the dressing rooms." "They're a mess." "You know actors." "You'll also help with the tickets." "And every now and then if a drunk gets in, throw him out." "Sorry." "I didn't know you were busy." "That's Estela." "My daughter." "Help me keep an eye on her, too." "Of course, Don José." "An eye, an ear, from head to tail." "I'll give it all I've got." "Welcome to Pagola's Tent Show." "Thank you, sir." "Let's see." "Let me see some of that fancy footwork." "Yes, sir." "One more." "Going low." "That's it." "Excuse me." "Excuse me." "What do you want?" "I'm "El Chato" Moreno." "We had a fight scheduled for last Saturday." "We did." "We postponed it to protect my boy's career." "And my career?" "What career, Chato?" "You haven't won a single fight." "Maybe because you haven't put your boy in front of me." "Really?" "Think you're hot stuff?" "I'm hot-blooded, man." "Okay." "Let's put 30 pesos on it to make it interesting." "Loser pays." " You're on." " You're on." "Go on." "Time's a-wasting." "Get closer." "Hit him." "Hit him." "Don't just dodge." "Hit him." "Hit him." "Stand up." "That's good." "Later you can do the others." "You got it, Don José." "Don't worry about the money." "A bet is a bet." "No, I really wanted to win." "I ended up making a fool of myself." "Maybe boxing isn't your thing." "You looked more like a bullfighter." "Enough already." "Get out of here." "Deadbeats." "Who does this guy think he is?" "Sorry?" " Who's the show-off?" " He's the breeder's nephew." "Since they provide the young bulls, he's up first." "When it's worn out, it's our turn, but what's the point?" "¡Olé!" "That's not a bull, man." "Looks more like a dog." " Here, little doggy." " They should feed him." "Why don't you feed him?" "Closer, blondie." "Don't be scared." " He won't bite." " You got that right." "Hey, you." "Yes, sir?" "Think you can do better?" "We'll see who wears the pants." "These may be patchy, but I'll give him a kick in the pants." " Come on." "Let's see." " You're on." "Come on, charge." "Don't be shy." "See?" "It's not so easy, kid." "Let 'er rip." "Is this a bullfight or what?" "You're ruining the animal." "Come on, little bull." "¡Olé!" "¡Olé!" "¡Olé!" " He's much better than the nephew." " Yeah, look." "This is no bullfighter." "The guy's a clown." "Come on, little bull." "Mama!" "Hey, how are you?" "Are you okay?" "Huh?" "What happened?" "Take it easy." "You're bruised all over." "How'd I do?" "It looked like you were dancing." "You're really funny." "What are you laughing at?" "Haven't you ever seen black-face?" "Yeah, in the movies." "So... aren't you nervous?" "It beats going hungry." "Why do you put up with all this?" "You think I was born to push a broom?" "No." " Promise me something." " Whatever you want, babe." "If you ever make it big, take me with you." "Or just take me now, already." "Hurry up." "You're on next." " This is going to be a disaster." " He's really funny." "Get him out of here!" " That's enough." " Just a little longer." "You'll see." "Bring back the fatties!" "That's the last time I listen to you." "Why'd you stop me?" "I was just getting going." "Just getting going?" "You hear that?" "Go get them under control." "No, Don José." "He started this, let him stop it!" "Get cleaned up first." "We don't want them to recognize you." "Here." "Come on." "Come on." "Get rid of that clown!" "Ladies..." "Ladies and gentlemen" "Please..." "Good evening, lovely gentlemen, and esteemed ladies." "Kindly lend me your attention." "Now what?" "That's it!" "At least you could throw me the other sandal." "Yikes!" "Better not." "I smell a rat." "Here's the rub." "Now you have to go home barefoot." "No, no." "Don't be a jerk." "But it gets under my skin, man." "You should be more friendly." "Aren't I giving you-And when did I ever" "It just gets under my skin, man." "Now listen up... so they can't tell me I didn't tell you what they told me to tell you." " What?" " What's wrong, miss?" "Weren't you listening?" "Or were you paying attention to that dreamboat at your side?" "Who, by the way, couldn't take his eyes off of me." "Maybe that's why he wasn't eyeing you." "So put your hands together... and welcome these lovely girls to the stage!" " Don't ever do that again." " Did you see that?" "What?" "That I got all mixed up?" "That I hardly knew what I was saying?" "No." "They loved your style." "My style?" "Gosh." "I'll have to rehearse it then." "No." "Please, just be yourself." "Then I'd better get to work on the dressing rooms." "The trash is really piling up today." "Cheer up, champ." "Mama!" "Estelita, girl." "What?" "No." "What are you doing?" "Your father's going to catch us!" " Estelita." " Mario, take me with you." "Where?" "Get off of me!" "Get off of me." "Get lost!" "I won't kick your ass because I caught you just in time." "I just kept an eye on her." "She threw her whole body at me." "Get out!" "And don't come back!" "I really liked your act." "My act?" "My father-in-law owns a tent show in Mexico City." "I'd like you to audition." "Mexico City?" "I am Estanislao Shilinsky." "Look me up, if you're interested." "Mr. Todd, Sinatra is performing in Vegas..." "David Niven is not answering the phone... and Marlene Dietrich says she doesn't work for free." "What should we do about Liz Taylor?" "Stop working." "Kid, you're gonna be fine." "Okay." "Thank you, George." "We'll see you around 3:00." " Billy, make sure you send those flowers." " Yes, sir." "Mike." "Thanks for coming." "I hear you've been pretty busy." "I should have known no one can take so much as a sip of water in this town... without your knowledge, John." "I see you brought our good friend Maurice." "Yes, Maurice will be joining us." "I like to get his opinion, if you don't mind." "Mind?" "Of course not." "More than happy to have such a, uh, fine gentleman like Maurice with us." "All right." "Well, let's get started then, shall we?" "All right." "What can I do for you, John?" "We have some concerns about Around the World in Eighty Days." "Concerns?" "What concerns?" "It's a great story" "You are corrupting Jules Verne's story." "You know, we have spent a fortune... and we haven't had any results." "You have my word, John." "You are gonna be amazed." "Come on." "Get serious, Mike." "This idea of yours about having 50 international stars from all over the world... for free... is, quite frankly, ridiculous." "John, everybody, and I mean everybody, wants to be part of this thing." "I just got off the phone with Thailand." "The king himself wants to lend us his own barge." "Have you not heard of, um, miniatures models?" "I've heard of miniature minds." "Small thinkers." "Lack of vision." "I'm making the most spectacular movie in the history of cinema." "For God's sake, John!" "This is not one of your Broadway shows." "This is a major motion picture studio." " There is a system, a protocol" " Oh!" "Mike." "Mike." "Maurice is only trying to help." "We're under a lot of pressure here... and you seem to be distracted with this pie in the sky idea of international casting." "I am not distracted at all." "Mike, we have a press conference coming up in one week... and we have yet to see the contracts for any of the cast." "And we will get there, John." "I'm working" "For instance, I did get you that, uh, Mexican actor you asked for." " What, uh" " Moreno?" "This Mario Moreno?" "Sure." "I just sent him his plane tickets." "He's on his way." " Doesn't he own three planes?" " They're being repaired." "Okay." "Well, let's get all the paperwork prepared... and set up a luncheon with him... just before the press conference so we can talk strategy." " Good." "Good." " Make sure there's a reporter... from every international publication on the planet at that conference." "Come on, Maurice." "We got a lot of work to do." "Mike." " All right, John." "Good." " All right." "Mexico City." "Estanislao Shilinsky." "Shilinsky." "That's my pal!" "Esteemed audience... ladies and gentlemen..." "Valentina's Tent Show is proud to present... all the way from Russia... with all of their beauty and talent... the incomparable..." "Ivanova Zubareff Sisters!" "Come on there, buddy." "Cat got your tongue?" "Come on there, buddy." "Cat got your tongue?" "Six days before the press conference." "Mr. Todd, the next plane to Mexico City leaves tomorrow at 9:00 AM." "I don't understand." "The Mexican guy's supposed to be flying here for the press conference." "You heard John." "I'm afraid it's a bit more complicated than that, sir." "Mr. Moreno is expecting you at a bullfight." "So I have to go to Mexico to close this guy." " Mm-hmm." " Well, bullfight" "Very Hemingway." "At least I'm a fan." "Mr. Moreno is not a fan." "He's the one actually fighting the bull." "What?" "My God." "Hey, gorgeous." " Who are you calling gorgeous?" " Your bird." "How dare you!" "I'll bash your face in!" " It'll cost you." " What do you mean?" "Please, sir." "Don't get worked up." "Don't worry, darling." "Right this way." " You don't know who you're talking to!" " Who are you?" "Young man, I am noble." "Blue blood runs in my veins." " You're a fountain pen?" " This is an outrage." "I demand a duel." "I only drooled as a baby." " Tomorrow in the woods!" " What are we..." "Tomorrow in the woods!" " What are we..." " No, no, no, Mario!" "That's the fifth time, and you can't get it." ""What are we... nymphs?"" "It's not hard." "You just have to say the words." "But they aren't my words." "They weren't written for me." "Don Mario is putting on airs." "Would you rather I wrote you a poem?" "What if we just take the idea and run with it?" "Nyet." "No, no." "That's it." "I told you." "You memorize lines." "I don't." "I improvise." "You don't." "So as they say, what now?" "Lapochka." "Lapochka." "Okay." "You're on." "If it doesn't work, we can forget about pairing up." "Okay." "Cue me." "I am noble." "Blue blood runs in my veins." " You're a fountain pen?" " This is an outrage!" "I demand a duel!" " I only drooled as a baby." " Tomorrow in the woods!" " What are we, nymphs?" " I'll bring my seconds." "It won't work out." "It will take at least a few minutes." "Well?" "Like it?" "I think it might work." "It's a matter of timing." "We go back and forth and let the dialogue flow." "But don't forget- leave the punch lines to me." "Just don't knock me out with boredom." " You were good." " I can't work like this." "You were good." "I'm proud of you." "I'm proud of myself too." "Good evening, my dear gentlemen... and your dear ladies." "Because last time I said my dear ladies... they sent me packing." "You were out of line, young man." "You are present here for something unique." "Because you are present." "If you weren't present, you couldn't witness this wonderful thing." "I was facing the abyss... when I said to myself..." ""Self, you gotta take a step forward, man."" "So here I stand before you... ready for the first duty of every human being:" "To be happy." "And the second:" "To help others pass a few happy moments." "Like that somewhat chubby and contented guy who said" "What did he say?" "Gosh." "I don't remember." "Oh, yes." "That moments pass... and minutes too." "Even seconds do." "So from second to second, you get your second wind, right?" "I love." "You love." "He loves." "We love." "You love." "And they love." "I wish this was not just conjugation but reality." "Since I'm starting to get a little serious now... here comes the moral of the story, kids." "If you've found yourself a gal... take good care of her." "Because there are moments in life that are truly "momentaneous."" "I'm very proud of you." "Love, V." "We're among the crème de la crème." "Someday they'll come to see us." " At the tent show?" " No." "In a real theater." "The boy can barely crawl, and already he wants to run." "This is not for the likes of us, Mario." "And why not?" "Because the upper crust comes here for a thrill... and to take a peek at the dark underbelly of this town." "What's that about a belly?" "Sorry." "I'm trying out some new words." "There are two kinds of news." "The kind the government tells us... and the truth." "May I?" "This is the official news." "But inside this building, there's another truth." "Thanks, just taking a look." "If I don't open it, I don't have to pay." "What's with that rude kid?" "So, Plutarco, have you decided?" "What's to decide?" "You know how I like elections." "Right." "You're a true democrat." "Shall we honor the decision of the people?" "Of course." "The voice of the people is the voice of God." "How's that?" "Everyone will vote for the one I select." "But we won with 100% of the vote." "Not even the mother of the other candidate voted for him?" "Such are my powers of persuasion." "Look, Mario." "You see that guy up there?" "He's a government minister." "They never acknowledge their mistakes... but when they see them on stage... they even laugh at them." "They dress better, but they're not that different." "Come on." "No, let's go." "Good evening." "You're amazing." "I could dance with you for the rest of my life." "I bet you say that to all the girls." "No way." "You're the first." "Liar." "I'd like you to be the last." "Come on, Valita." "I'm coming." "Let's go." "Come on." "Hurry, come on." " Relax." " What?" "Come on, come on." "Now who do we have here?" " Just me, myself and I!" " What's happening?" "How are you, pal?" "What's in the box?" "A new suit?" "The old one's stiff as a board." "Maybe, but at least it isn't patched together like some I know." "Don't get your feathers in a ruffle." "I'm cool as a cucumber." "You think you're a fine kettle." "But you're just a clay pot from Tlaquepaque." "You crack at the first tap." "Sometimes I bend, because if I break, this egg can't be put together again." "You're sharp as a tack." "Come on, Valita." "Was that Spanish?" "I didn't understand a thing." "No, Valita." "Pure Mexican." "Let's go." "So what's in the box?" "It's a present for you." "It has no material value... but it means a lot to me." "There." "Close your eyes." "Wait a second." "Now?" "No, wait." "Wait." "It needed a touch of elegance." "Now." "There's the rub." "Mario." "Ready to rehearse?" " What's with that?" " How about it?" "How you like them apples?" "Good." "I like it." "What really gets to me is the way the police treat you." "When the officer arrived, what did you say to him?" "You're not my type." " That's just it." " Why should I go with him?" "If somebody comes up and says, "Come with me," do you go?" "As he is an authority, it is your duty to go with him." "Just a minute." "So, you, as an authority" "Yes, sir." "So you're an authority." "What do you need that for?" "I'm saying that with your backwards way of speaking... we always end up in jail." "What do you mean?" "You just gave testimony." "Why did you speak to the judge that way?" "Because the judge asked me." "Very well." "The judge is there, and you, as a man" "There you have it." "Just because he's a judge... and while you are" "The guy's drunk." "Can't understand a word he says." "Shut up, you barfly!" "What are you talking about?" "How much did you imbibe?" "Whatever you're buying." "But not right now." "Can't you see I'm working?" " You're just a Cantina fly." " Shut him up." "Give him a break, man." "As I was saying, you have no authority" "How do you know who I am?" "I don't even know that." "You're a Cantina fly." "What's your name then?" "Can't you hear that guy cackling like a hen?" "Cantinfly." "That's my name:" "Cantinflas." "They want to hire me for a new theater they're opening near Garibaldi." " What about the tent show, Mario?" " Tent shows are an endangered species." "You're right, kid." "Such are these modern times." "What are the conditions?" " That I join the union." " And what about us?" " You aren't leaving, are you?" " Only if they give me what I asked for." "What did you ask for?" "For my family to be included in the contract." "Valita." "My lovely Russian." "Will you be my wife?" "Yes." " Yes?" " Yes!" "Make me a proud grandfather." " Papa." " Don Gregorio." "Watch the birdie." "One, two, three." "What are you thinking about, Mario?" "Your father." "He's very proud of you." "Of us." "We have the most important things- good health, work." "And soon this place will be full of kids." "Kids?" "How many do you want?" "A dozen would be nice." "At two pesos a show... you'll have to work like a mule to make ends meet." "Mondragón is going to book me at the Follies Bergeres Theater." "Really?" " No." " Yes." " No!" " Yes." "Our life is going to change, Valita." "I promise." "But now we have another job to do." "What other job?" "To start working on those babies." "Well, time's a-wastin'." "Let 'er rip." "Five days before the press conference." "Hey, Jacques." "Sorry I'm late." "I'm still getting used to the size of this city." "Don't worry." "Let's get in." " How are you?" " Fine." "So what's the catch here, Jacques?" "Is the bull trained?" "Sure they are trained." "Trained to kill." "What?" "You mean he really is in danger?" "Mario is very passionate about his art, Mike." "Many of these people sacrifice a lot to come here." "I can see that." "The place is packed." "You guys got a great product here." "Cantinflas is not simply a great product." "He's the most loved person in Mexico, Spain and the rest of Latin America." "Really?" "I didn't know that." "Four days before the press conference" "Mike." "Please come in." "Mario's waiting for us." "Good." "I hope he's not raging like yesterday's bull." "Mario, this is Michael Todd." "Nice to meet you, Mr. Todd." "Come in." "Please call me Mike." "I'm sure glad you speak English, Mario." "Only when it's absolutely necessary." "Well, I can assure you it's better than my Spanish." "I'm out of practice with the señoritas." " I hear this is your first time." " Oh, no." "I've seen my share of Mexico." "It's a beautiful country." "I mean the film, Mike." "This is your first one, right?" "Yes, it is, but it's not my first production." "I come from Broadway, you see." "Oh, good." "I also moved from theater to film." "It's a tough leap." "Anyway, I know who you are." "Um-Please tell me more about the picture." "I am gonna make this picture the biggest box office success in the history of cinema." "That's why we need the world's biggest stars." "Now, you come very highly recommended as Mexico's top entertainer... but I say it's time for the entire world... to get a glimpse of Cantinflas." "Is that so?" "The entire world?" "Absolutely." "What do you have in mind?" "For you, the most amazing scene in the picture, okay?" "You would play the chief of an Apache tribe attacking a train." "Wait." "Wait, wait, wait." "One of your famous cameo roles?" "Everybody wants to be part of this picture, Mario." "You are gonna love this." "Are you shooting in México?" "Well, I would love to shoot in Mexico, but the studio..." "I see." "I see." "I see." "Yeah." "Uh-We have a major press conference next week." "The entire planet's gonna be watching us." "I'm sure I will enjoy your movie, Mike... but unfortunately we are not interested in working for a studio." "Well, I certainly can understand that, Mario, but, uh- how do you plan on financing the picture... if we don't work with the system?" "Money is never a problem." "No?" "No." "Mario has received several offers from Hollywood, mostly for leading roles." "Your offer is simply unacceptable." "Well, Mario, would you at least do me the honor of reading our screenplay?" "Sure." "I will." "I will." "But honestly, Mike, I don't think that's gonna change my decision." "Thank you very much for coming." " All right." "Thank you, Mario." " Thank you, Mike." "Take care." "Bye." "I didn't know about the Apaches, Mario." "Jacques." "Let's get serious." " Come on." " I don't get it." " Hurry." " We can afford to take a cab." "Follies Bergeres Theater." "What's wrong with him?" "Let me try that." "Manuel, you're the best comedian in Mexico." "May we assimilate, sir?" " Hello." " Hello." "You must be that Cantinflas guy." "Fabriqué en la France." "Brightest match in the batch." "Qu'est-ce que c'´ est ça?" "Les Champs-Elysées?" "This is Valentina, my wife." " How do you" " No, no." "Your dressing room is in the back." "Do me a favor and don't disturb me." "With great pleasure." "Asshole." "Come on, Valita." ""Fabriqué en la France." "Champs-Élysées."" ""Oui, oui, oui. " You bet." "Mario." "I told you." "It's not that bad." "Trash, Mr. Furstenberg." "Medel treats us like trash." "Since we got here, he constantly humiliates us." "What do you want me to do?" "He's the star!" "That's just another word for impostor." " What?" " Look, Don José." "He put us in a storeroom." "He changes the order of the acts without notice." "And he took our names off the marquee... to put his up in bigger letters." "And who packs the theater?" "You or Medel?" " But our act is good." " Sure it is." "That's why everybody comes to see Cantinflas." "How can they come to see us if we're not even advertised?" "I'm not spending on publicity for complete unknowns." " We have our audience." " People who can't afford a ticket." "Is that what you think?" "All right." "I respect that." "For me, all thoughts are respectable... be they small-minded or fat-headed." " What?" " Never mind." "Listen, clown." "You better start thinking of other characters." "I've just about had it with this little bum!" "Damn!" "Well, why not talk with Mondragón?" "And get us deeper in trouble?" "Then how about changing your character?" "Never." "Cantinflas is Cantinflas." "Mario, we need people to come see us." " Got another?" " No, I'm out." "Want a newspaper?" "Cantinflas." "What are you doing here?" "We work here now." "Great." "More or less." "Nobody comes to see us." "What do you expect?" "You have to announce it on the front page." "Yeah, do I look rich?" "If you want, I'll spread the word." " On the level?" " Even stephen." "Wait." "Here goes." "Coming soon!" "Don't miss it!" "Who's that?" "A pal." "He'll help us out." "Yeah?" "How?" "As was said by the poet... who never said a thing because time ran out..." ""Let us act either as what we are, or as gentlemen."" "Sometimes I need a dictionary to understand you." "All who hear the sound of my voice..." "I am here before you... and you before me... and that is a truth that no one can deny." "And now I wonder, why am I here?" "And my answer is coming right away." "I am here because I am not anywhere else and because you called me." "And if the people call upon me... then they must have a reason for it." "As for myself, contrary to what was said by a certain someone... who shall remain unnamed... but who I see right now..." "I don't represent any union." "And I don't represent any union because I simply represent myself." "Because, as the saying goes..." ""Better to be alone than in bad company."" "And you well may wonder, if this young man of such a tender age... of such extinguished bearing, of such pleasing and regular portions... will be able to bring the ship to safe harbor?" "Can he negotiate the perils and find the refuge of happiness... where he may leave us entirely safe and sound?" "And this same fellow, yours truly, I might venture to add... will answer." "This spring chicken is cockier than a rooster!" "And above all, I want to do justice... and give the people what they need." "And I, unlike some others... will give you bread, and lots of it." "Not just crumbs, as they have always given you." "I don't want them here at all." "I can't understand why you agreed to it." "But, Manuel, I accepted because of union politicking." "And you expect to compete with the Lírico Theater like that?" "The Follies is not for the tent show crowd." "What are you afraid of, Manuel?" "Afraid?" "I pity them." "Three days before the press conference." "Hello." "I'm meeting an associate." " How are you, Mike?" " I'm great." "Where's John?" " John won't be joining us." " I'll have to take a rain check." "I've got my hands full with this press conference and" "I spoke to Gelman, Mike." "I've always known Mario Moreno is not coming." " Is that so?" " The game is up, Mike." "I'm taking this production away from you." "You listen here, you snake." "I brought this project to United Artists, and I can take it away." "And you know as well as I do that you can't take this project anywhere... unless you pay every cent the studio has spent on your set... fancy dinner and your-whoo!" " whole crazy lifestyle." "At least I have a lifestyle." "You've got neither- no life, no style-and you never will." "This conversation is over." "This conversation was over before it began." " My apologies, sir." " No, no, no." "I apologize for eavesdropping, but" "Well, I could hardly avoid listening to your conversation." " May I sit down?" " Of course." "Um, from what I gather... it would appear there's some challenge... involving getting Mario Moreno- Cantinflas... to appear in your picture." "Well, he's already turned me down." "Hmm." "What exactly was his response?" "He said he does not work for studios." "Hmm." "Sometimes freedom has its price... but it's always something worth aspiring to." "Actually, this same studio was built by people who wanted that kind of freedom." "Now, you see, it seems we've become everything we tried to escape." " Don't lose your faith, Mr. Todd." " Thank you, sir." "And a word of advice, if I may be so bold." "Perhaps next time, you should try to talk to Cantinflas... not to Mr. Moreno." "I don't see what the difference would be, Mr." "Charlie." "My friends call me Charlie." "Oh, my God." "THERE'S THE RUB" "Churubusco Studios." "There's the rub, man." "Damn it." "Cut!" "Listen, Mario." "I don't know how you're used to working... but here, you have to stick to the script." "I only improvise to improve the dialogue." "Why?" "Just do your job." " Precisely." " Not one word outside the script!" "Ready?" "Camera." "Lights." "Silence, please, everyone." "There's the Rub, scene 21, take 7." "And..." "Action." "This man has been hiding behind a false name, and I will prove it." "Now, my friend." " What do you go by?" " I get by with my wits." " You're ignorant." " Don't insult me!" "Your Honor, I prot" "Step outside, man." "I can't take it, Your Honor." "He insults me." "You're the big shot here, you should behave correctly with such individuals" "Why don't you go outside?" "Let me go, sir." " You're right." "Please excuse me." " You may be excused." "Just answer the question." "Didn't I answer already?" " What is your name?" " All right." "No need to yell." "Which one?" "The first one or the one after?" " Just as I told you!" " Yes, sir." "And there's the rub." "Let the record state that this man... had one name first and another after that." "Members of the jury... you must know that this man has posed as a certain Cantinflas... to conceal his identity." "You've got it backward, man." "Cantinflas first." "The thing is, afterwards, you know, they look at you and this and that." "And a man has his feelings." "So then it was Don Mario..." " That's what I said!" " Oh." "All right." " Sorry, old man." " Who are you calling old man?" "Cut!" "All right then." "Let's cut for lunch." "One hour everyone, please." "If this little actor keeps this up, the movie will be a major flop." "Relax, sir." "I'm telling you." "A huge flop!" "THERE'S THE RUB" "Jacques Gelman is a good friend of mine, Mario." "And he is very interested in your career." "He wants to help you grow." "I don't like being exploited." "It's about having control." "I need complete creative freedom." "You have the talent." "I have the money." "If we team up..." "Cantinflas will be the biggest comedian on the continent." " Complete freedom?" " Of course." "I guarantee a gold mine." "All right." "All right, Jacques." "And if a sacrifice is called for..." "I can always give up my share and take yours." "Neither Blood nor Sand, scene 77 take 7." "And..." "Action!" "Money is everything in life." " Who told you that?" " Life." " What do you know about life?" " Don't I?" "You innocent babe." "Life, mister, must be seized." "Money, all things considered, of course." "Look, when I talk physiologically dealing with a situation... we might call physiological." " Because money, as Spearshaker said" " Spearshaker?" " Shakespeare." " That's his cousin from Toluca." " What cousin from Toluca?" "Cut!" " Not again." "Now what?" "It was going fine." " You don't know your lines, Mario." " Obviously." "That's the way I am." "I can't work like that, Mario." "I remind you that I'm responsible for this film." "I leave nothing to improvisation." "Can you imagine me improvising?" "We owe it all to the screenplay, Mario." "Every word is there for a reason." "And we can't just go changing them at will!" "You're fired." "On the Set of The Unknown Policeman." "All right, now." "Where the heck is my coffee?" "Mario, do you need anything?" "Here?" "Gabriel, is this is my light?" "Okay." " No." "Let's get started." " All right." " Ready, Mr. Figueroa?" " Yes, sir." "Ready." "Roll it." "Rolling." "Slate it." "And..." "Action." "At your service, chief." "Thus Moreno enters the major leagues of entertainment... not only as performer... but also as director." "What's wrong?" "Aren't you glad?" "Yes." "Of course I am." "Our life has changed completely." "Yes." "What's wrong?" "Nothing." "The more you work, the less I see you." "If you're not filming, you're on tour." "And now with your appointment to the Actors Association... you spend all day at the office." "There's the rub." "It's not one thing or the other" "Stop it already, Mario." "I miss you." "And every time I want to talk, you start fooling around." "But, Valita" "My pretty Russian." "You know I do it all for you." "It's just..." "I don't know if I'm talking to you or to Cantinflas." "I miss you, Mario." "You, my husband." "Not Cantinflas." "How can you say that?" "You don't understand." "I told you we shouldn't have moved into this house." "It's huge." "What am I going to do here?" "I'll feel even lonelier." "No." "Lonely?" "I'm afraid." "Valita." "I love you." "I love you with all my heart." "And we will be together always." "Really?" "Always." "I have to go." "See you later." "Mario, stop looking at your watch." "They'll think you aren't comfortable." "And they'd be right." "They're all scoundrels here." "As leader of the Actors Association... you must maintain good relations with the heads of the other unions." "I suspect no one." "But I mistrust everyone, Jorge." "Silence, please." "Fidel." "It's an honor to raise this glass... and wish you a long life as head of the CTM." "Cheers." "Who's that dimwit?" "One of Fidel's men." "They say he's the next head of the Film Workers Union." "For you." "For your family." "Then we're done for." "No?" "Charlie." "I'm glad I found you." "Two days before the press conference." "You almost missed me." "I'm off to Europe in a few hours." "I really need your help, Charlie." "Hmm." "Moreno-lvanova Residence." "Valita!" "What's the matter?" "What happened?" "Where is the help?" "Aurora!" "I sent them away." "I don't want to see anyone." "Valita." "How can I help you?" "Help me?" "I needed you all this time." "Especially today." "I needed you today." "We had assembly" "Gosh!" "The doctor's appointment." "I forgot." "Forgive me." "What did he say?" "What did he tell you, Valita?" "That..." "This can't be." "There must be a mistake." "We can't have children." "We can't." "If I talk to you like this, in this paternal tone..." "A Day with the Devil." "Like a father to a son who's turned out to be a real devil..." "Look, I'm not holding back here." "Because you're a devil I really like... a very charming devil, a really cool devil." "Don't get me wrong." "I think there's a solution." "That's what I needed... a good soul like yours so I could cry." "Because he who can cry is saved." "Don't cry, man." "Don't cry, my little devil." "Can't you see that your tears burn?" "Don't cry, my little devil." "Act like a man." "Buck up." "You'll make me cry too." "Besides, what don't you understand?" "Why are you crying?" "Why don't you pull yourself together?" "Work." "Work purifies." "Have you ever worked?" "I've never worked, but I hope to retire very soon." "Cut and print." "Very good." "Very good." " You don't want another take?" " Not at all." "What for?" "With Cantinflas and Don Andrés Soler, it's top-notch." " Right, guys?" " Yes." " Thanks, Andrés." " Not at all." "Mario." "Everyone be here tomorrow at 9:00." "Can someone remove my horns, please?" "Start without me tomorrow." "I'll be a little late." " Why?" " I'm godfather at a christening." "How's Valentina doing?" "Down in the dumps." "Excuse me." "Well, the baptism comes at a bad time." "I couldn't get out of it." "At least we finished early." "Take care of her, pamper her, surprise her." " Thank you, Miguel." " All right." "A word with the art department over here, please." "DRESSING ROOM." "National Actors Association." "When I ran for representative of my fellow actors... they asked what I would do to benefit our organization." "In our quest for transparency... we denounce the embezzlement and misuse of funds... which, under the protection of Salvador Carrillo... has left the country's film industry in a shambles." "I won't stand for this!" "Sit down." "Here and now... we propose the creation of a new union... to put an end to the private dealings of this band of thieves!" "Stop!" "This is intolerable!" "You're corrupt, Carrillo." "You two-bit clown!" "Thief!" "You're corrupt!" "Order!" "Calm down!" "Order!" "Gentlemen, order!" "They hit you where it hurts, man." " We're with you, Mario." " Thank you, Jorge." "There's strength in numbers." "Do you want a steak?" "For your eye?" "Only if it's well done." "CHURUBUSCO STUDIOS." "Get ready, guys!" "Here they come!" "No, no." "Don't shoot." "What is it, Gabriel?" "It's "El Indio."" "What's new, you sons of guns?" "Thought you could have a shoot-out without me?" "Come in, compadre." "President Ávila Camacho has asked the leaders... to settle their differences through peaceful dialogue." "Nevertheless, Moreno organized a mass march... joined by workers of Churubusco Studios and the A ctors A ssociation." "Actors united for a new union!" "Actors united for a new union!" "Celebrities like Miroslava Stern..." "Charito Granados, Jorge Mondragón, Emilio "lndio" Fernández..." "Meche Barba, Agustín lnsunza, Mapy Cortés..." "Tito Guízar, Dolores del Rio..." "Ernesto Alonso, Fanny Kaufman " Vitola," Gabriel Figueroa..." "Pedro Armendáriz, Sofía Álvarez..." "Fernando Soto "Mantequilla," Gloria Marín, Jorge Negrete..." "María Félix, Andrés Soler and Lupita Tovar." "The March of the Stars brought immediate results." "The president supported the coexistence of both unions... which brings to an end Salvador Carrillo's monopoly of power." "Fabulous." "This is the genius I love." "Next stop, Hollywood." "Straight to the Oscars." " Cheers." " Cheers." "Mario Moreno is getting a lot of attention from gossip columnists... since he has frequently been seen together with Miroslava Stern... star of the film An Adventure in the Night." "Don't listen to that nonsense." "It's just work." "Do you want sugar?" "Mr. Todd, are you going to be okay?" "One day before the press conference" "I'm fine, Billy." "You did send that script to Cantinflas, right?" "Yes, like you told me." "Yeah." "I assume you want me to cancel the lunch with John and Maurice... before the press conference." " They'll be expecting Cantinflas." " Stop working." "Kid, you're gonna be fine." "I see a bright future ahead for you." "Well, sir, I have to say it's been a pleasure." " Same here, my friend." "You take care." " Yeah." "Oh, I almost forgot." "I left Miss Taylor your message." " I do hope she gets back to you." " You can bet she will." "Yeah." "Just look at this scene." "The crème de la crème of Mexican cinema." "I drink to Mario Moreno." "Our leader." "He who fights for the good of his fellow man." "My colleagues, I apologize." " Clearly the gentleman is in no condition" " I found you in the gutter, Mario." "Don't you remember?" "I picked you up out of the mud." "Don't you recognize me?" "You had a falling out with Manolín, but this is neither the time nor the place." " When?" " Tomorrow." " When?" " Tomorrow." " Do you need money?" " Money?" "That's all you have, Mario." "Money, your buildings and your cars and your ranches." " But you know what?" " Tomorrow." "There's something I have that you never will." "What's that?" "Children." "You can keep your filthy money." "The party will go on." "You know him." "The party will go on." "THEATER OF THE INSURGENTS PREMIERE." "Thanks." "Thanks." " Don Mario, a pleasure." " How are you?" "Hi." "How are you?" "A photo." "I'm telling you, if I see your brother-in-law here..." "I'll have him thrown out." "I don't think he cares one bit about your mural." "You're on his side?" "Tell me." " Valentina, so nice to see you." " How are you?" "Mario, are you ready for the inauguration?" "As always." "And you?" "Take it easy, Mario." "They're waiting for you to cut the ribbon." "Excuse me." "Ladies and gentlemen... we are here to inaugurate this mural." "Valita." " Valentina." "Where are you going?" " Let me go." "I don't want to stay here." "Wait." "Where are you going?" "Let me take you home." "No, no." "You don't understand." "I don't want to be with you anymore." "I can't." "I don't know you." "But I'm the same." "Look at you." "Look." "Look at that mural." "Look." "Whose side are you on?" "You're surrounded by unscrupulous people." "And you are the worst." "You betray the one who loves you." " Valita..." " Let go of me." "I've had it up to here with you!" "I can't take it anymore!" "I can't take it anymore." "What am I saying?" "What am I doing?" "What am I saying?" "Did you specify it was Los Angeles time?" "Mexico's on a different time zone." "I'm sorry." "Is there something funny about this, Maurice?" "I don't know if "funny" is exactly the word." "What do you think, Mike?" "I have enough water." "No más. ¿ Comprende?" "Damn greasers." "Here's the joke, John." "Here we are, 30 minutes away from the press conference... and Mike forgot to mention something." "What are you talking about, Maurice?" "Mario Moreno is not coming." "Is that true, Mike?" "Have you been bullshitting me this whole time?" " Well..." " You're out!" "Maurice is taking over the production." "Goddamn you, Mike, for wasting my time and my money." "Well, I can't deny that Moreno turned down the part we offered him." "It was a crazy idea." "Okay." "At least you come to your sense." "Well, you're the one with all the Hollywood experience, Maurice." "Can you imagine Mario Moreno working for peanuts?" "Money is not everything in life!" " Jesus." " Nice to finally meet you, Mr." "Mr. Moreno." "This is..." "Did you notice my good friend Frank at the piano?" "Frankie!" "Frankie!" "Here, take this, pal." " Sinatra." " Yeah." "This is incredible." "Mike-Mike, I'm sorry I ever doubted you, okay?" "So-Well, what are we gonna do about the press conference?" "Well, um-Uh, the issue" "Well, why don't- Why don't you go right ahead, Mario?" "Okay." "Mike was very kind to offer me the lead role of Passepartout." "What?" "A Mexican playing Passepartout?" " Mais ça, c'est pas possible." " Oui, oui, oui." "Now wait a minute." "We-We never discussed anything like that." "There's the rub, man." "In my humble opinion, this project will be the biggest... the most entertaining motion picture in all of history." "Unfortunately, United Artists will not be producing with us." "But assuming we can reach an agreement with them-which I hope we can- they can always help us release it." "How much is this movie going to cost?" "Oh, around six million dollars." "How are you paying for it?" "Um, let's just say I have many good friends all around the world." "CANTINFLAS KING OF THE TENT SHOWS." "Thank you for coming." "What's all this?" "My way of telling you I'm back." "And this time it's for good." "He who strays too far and owns up to the same... exhibits true courage by accepting the blame." "And there's the rub." "How you like them apples?" "How long will you be away?" "As long as you wish, Valita." "Because this time, you're coming with me." "I won't shoot a single scene unless you're by my side." "My pretty Russian." "I'm going to ask two things of you." "Don't do that Cantinflas thing in English." " And pamper me a lot." " I promise." "All the time." "Around the World in Eighty Days." "Very good, Mario." "You're gonna have to teach me that dance, all right?" "And cut!" "I'm getting cold just watching you boys." "That's a wrap, everyone." "Well done, gentlemen." "Thank you all." "Good day." "I hate to say I told you so." "Well, let's be honest." "Nobody actually hates to say "I told you so."" "We want to release this film simultaneously in 125 cities." "Do you think United Artists can handle it?" "Or do you want to be famous for letting go of the greatest movie of all time twice?" "So, Mario, tell me." "When are you moving to LA?" "I've got tons of new ideas." " I have other plans, Mike." " Other plans?" "We've conquered Hollywood." "You can't go now." "Mmm." "Now I know where my place is- among my people in México... with my wife." "We are thinking of adopting a baby." "Now I understand." "That's a good reason." "Well" " You'll be missed, my friend." " You too, Mike." "I'll drink to that." "There's the rub, man!" "Golden Globe Awards." "Whoa." "My bookie's got us at 4-to-1, Jimmy." "And I'm saying he's nuts." "Am I right?" "See ya." "Steve, there's a gin rummy game going on in the press room." "I expect you to be there." "Hope to see you." "All right." "All right, gentlemen, now, I expect you to catch my good side." "There's always only good sides on her." "Mario." "Mr. Brando, over here." "Mr. Brando!" "Right here!" "Mr. Brando!" "Mr. Brando!" "Please, sir!" "Right here!" "And here are the nominees for Best Actor... in a Motion Picture Comedy or Musical." "And the nominees are:" "Yul Brynner for The King and I." "Marlon Brando for The Teahouse of the August Moon." "Cantinflas for Around the World in Eighty Days." "And the winner is..." "Mario Moreno..." "Cantinflas..." "for Around the World in Eighty Days." "Never doubted you." "Well done." "We won, my friend." "Estanislao Shilinsky ended his days in "The Actor's Home" founded by Mario Moreno." "Miguel M. Delgado directed 139 films, including almost all of Cantinflas's." "Jacques Gelman produced many of Cantinflas's films." "He amassed a great art collection... which is on display in the Metropolitan Museum of New York." "Around the World in Eighty Days won five Oscars... including Best Picture... the highest award a producer can win." "Mike Todd and Liz Taylor married in 1957 in Acapulco." "Mario was their witness." "Mike Todd died a year later." "His plane, the "Lucky Liz," crashed in March of 1958." "Valentina died in 1966." "Mario was with his wife until the end." "Mario Moreno continued making films all of his life... always as Cantinflas." "He died in 1993." "Cut!" "It's a wrap!" "Perfect!" "Fantastic!" "You're a champ, Don Mario."