"It's alive!" "Oh!" "I want my sundae." " Where the hell have you been?" " It's none of your business." "None of my business?" "It isn't my business that..." "Are you really a tooth fairy?" "Um, yeah." "Damn right it isn't." "Maybe you'd rather be with your whore." "Don't you dare call her that!" "You admit it!" "You unbelievable bastard." "That is it!" "I'm gonna shut you up once and for all." "You put that down!" "Get your hands off me!" "You get out!" "Who the hell are you?" "Get off me." "Get off me." "You be good now." "You admit it!" "You unbelievable bastard!" "That is it!" "I'm gonna shut you up once and for all." " You put that down!" " Get your hands off me!" "Who the hell are you?" "Hey, champ." "Uh, OK." "Pack up." "You and me are going on a vacation... uh, to Disneyland." "Is Mom coming?" "Disneyland!" "I'm gonna shut you up once and for all!" " You put that down!" " Get your hands off me." "Who the hell are you?" "Hey, get off me." "Freeze!" "Freeze?" "When I drop a fairy?" "You know I am only getting started, motherf..." "Hey!" "Sir, put down the weapon." "Put down the weapon." "Stay down!" "On the ground!" "Spread your legs." "Don't move." "Put your hands behind your back, sir." "Congratulations!" "This is the darkest sketch in television history!" "Darkest sketch!" "Darkest sketch!" "Darkest sketch!" "I did it!" "Did you guys get that?" "Darling, will you marry me?" "Uh, folks, this is your captain speaking." "Sorry for the little bump." "We're just going through a little turbulence... and there's nothing to worry about." "This is actually my first time flying... and I'm pretty nervous." "Oh, don't be." "I fly all the time." "It's the safest way to travel." "This is the captain again." "Well, folks... the copilot just won't stop touching my wheel." "He's really annoying." "Folks, this is the copilot, and it's not his wheel." "It's the airline's wheel, and I can touch it if I want to." "That doesn't sound good." "Let go of my hands!" "Why are you hitting yourself?" "Stop hitting yourself." "Hi!" "Excuse me, Mr. Chicken, but can you tell me... why you crossed the road?" "Why, sure, Billy." "I'll tell you." "Don't let this car in." "What... what are you..." "I have to." "It's common courtesy." "This traffic is ridiculous." "I knew I should've taken my teleporter to work today." "I have a teleporter, you know." "I invented it myself." "Blah, blah, blee, blah." "And yet every day, you carpool with us." "Uhh!" "We're in the slowest lane!" "Oh!" "This minivan in front of us is killing me!" "Ooh." "An honor student at the Fancher Elementary School." "Note to self... blow up Fancher Elementary School!" "This is unacceptable!" "You missed the kids." "That was a good one." "What was a good..." "It's burning my eyes!" "They're watering." "Unlock the windows!" "Behold the gaseous stench of Skeletor's breakfast burrito!" "Oh, crap." "OK, OK." "Don't look at them." "Just act casual." "Oh, yeah!" "In your face, villains." "This is exit 32." "Merge over." "Yeah, I'm signaling, but they won't let me in." "It's common courtesy!" "We are so late, man." "Oh, there's a spot!" "To hell with this." "I'm teleporting." "Wow." "He really did have a teleporter." "What the..." " Baldy!" "Baldy!" " Baldy!" "Baldy!" "Son of a bitch." "You don't have any hair." "Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy birthday" "Happy, happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday" "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you" "Is everyone ready for more of those hysterical bloopers?" "You know, The Today Show has been a trusted source... of morning news for more than fifty years... but it's not always boring." "Just watch!" "And sadly, Ling-Ling the panda... was destroyed by federal wildlife officials." "In a related story..." "In a related story... traffic on New York City's Brooklyn Bridge... was brought to a standstill today..." "Traffic was brought to..." "Hi, Katie." "Someone get the Windex." "Everyone remembers Mister Rogers' Neighborhood." "But things weren't always hunky-dory in the hood." "Do you know what sharing is?" "Sometimes it's nice to..." "Peter, come over here, please." "The train track is too close to the lake." "I got a shock." "Weren't we gonna solve this problem?" "I'm sorry." "It's just that, you know, the lake is..." "We're solving the problem, Peter." "Solving the problem." "Solving the problem." "Solving the problem." "And problem solved." "Now get ready for one of the biggest bloopers of all time!" "This just in..." "CNN calls the state of Florida for Al Gore." "That means gore has won the presidential election." "Thank you, Jesus." "We sure dodged that bullet." "Oops." "The top-rated CSI is full of twists and turns... as well as its share of unexpected blooper action!" "You guys!" "Aw, that was..." "that was really funny." "Oh, [Bleep]." "I [Bleep] cut myself." "It's really bad." "It's deep." "[Bleep]" "Ow." "This bullet casing shouldn't be here... if the shooting took place ten meters west." "Sorry." "That was me." " I'm sorry." " Sorry." "I'm sorry." "Sorry." "Sorry about that." "Now it's time for those amazing sports bloopers." "They're always a home run." "Yeah!" "That's all for today, but come back next time... for more of those ca-razy bloopers!"