"So do I look familiar?" "I don't go to the movies that often." "Oh, no, no." "I meant, do I look like my sister?" "I think it's interesting that you chose to see me, your sister's former therapist." "My sister is sick." "Breast cancer?" "Stage IV." "Is that how you perceive yourself..." "As a former star?" "I need help." "With your lines." "I have them down verbatim and then I go into rehearsal and wham..." "They just disappear." "You've just come through a difficult divorce." "I would imagine that the play provided a kind of an escape." "Escape?" "No." "It's the problem, not the solution." "What's the problem?" "I'm failing." "You look tired." "I'm sorry." "I hate that." "Don't ever tell me when I look like shit or tired..." "Or old." "What's that?" "Here, open it." "It's a prompter... an earpiece for aging actors" "Who can't remember their lines." "Too bad they don't have something similar for younger actors" "Who refuse to learn theirs." "The director wants me to wear it during performances" "In case I lose a line." "So how did it go this week?" "As to be expected." "Everything's fine," "Sailing along, and then..." "But I'm not wearing this fucking thing." "Did you tell that to the director?" "I told the director that I am seeing the best psychoanalyst" "In New York and that I'm sure I'd be fine." "So now both our reputations are on the line." "So you'd like us to be in this together." "Aren't we?" "The stage manager keeps shanghaiing me backstage" "To talk about her own memory problems," "Hormone treatments, hot flashes." "She even gave me a book..." ""The Wisdom of Menopause."" "Thank you." "Oh God." "I sound like a spoiled brat." "You must think I'm ridiculous." "Why do you say that?" "There's all this frivolous stuff I'm talking about..." "Lines and the stage manager." "I can't..." "Frivolous compared to what?" "Last week when you were here" "You were worried about seeming frivolous" "Compared to your sister." "Tricia doesn't complain about anything." "She faces it all so bravely." "You must think I'm awful." "I must think you're awful or ridiculous" "Or whatever." "Last week you were defending" "Your decision to take a job" "Instead of staying at home." "Yes." "And you said, "does that make me a coldhearted egomaniac?"" "Good memory." "Maybe you should play this part." "Why do you use language like that to describe yourself?" "Is there some specific response" "That you're looking for in me?" "I'm sorry I even brought any of this up." "I certainly didn't come here to talk about Diane the stage manager." "So what are you here to talk about?" "Last week, do you remember when just before you left," "I asked you to keep an eye on what happens" "During rehearsal when you go up" "On your lines?" "How did that go?" "No rhyme or reason that I could see." "One moment I'd be there," "I'd be Maxine." "And the next moment I'd be Frances" "And I'd be thinking of something else entirely." "I can't tell you where I go when I jump like that." "I don't remember." "I want you to try." "I want you to really try" "To remember." "Okay, two days ago I was in the middle of a scene" "And I found myself thinking I needed to call Izzy." "So I tried to force myself back into the scene," "But I couldn't remember anything, didn't know was happening, total blank." "Why do you think you felt this need to talk to Izzy?" "I don't know." "I wanted to talk to her." "I called Russell later looking for her." "And he told me that Izzy's been spending all of her time at Patricia's." "Taking care of her, I suppose." "And did you call her there?" "I didn't want to intrude." "Izzy's always preferred Tricia" "And her father over me, which is ironic." "How so?" "I met Russell through Tricia." "She introduced us." "She was a graduate student at Columbia" "And he was this sort of brilliant" "Youngish Professor," "Kind of a star in the history department." "I was 30, sick of dating actors," "And she set us up." "And what did she think you were going to like about him?" "Well, he wasn't the best-looking man I'd ever known," "But he was the smartest and funny." "I liked his take on things." "It was a turn-on." "So he excited a part of you that hadn't been excited before." "I guess that's right." "And he had..." "What?" "Really good hands." "Physically?" "Sexually?" "When Russell and I first had sex," "It was completely overwhelming for me." "I hardly knew him and we'd only been out on a few dates," "But I don't know." "I fell so hard in love with him." "And it just all went really quickly." "I didn't care about getting married" "But he did, so we got married." "You mean that you got married to please him?" "No no, I was just surprised by how much he wanted to." "Later on, I did a lot of things to please Russell." "Like what?" "Getting pregnant." "Of course, I wanted to be a mother." "Just happened very fast." "It had to." "I was 35, he was 42-43." "So the clock was ticking." "So did you feel that you wanted more time to be alone with him?" "Just the two of you?" "A lot of people feel ambivalent" "When they bring a child into a marriage." "They're afraid that it's gonna change" "The dynamic of the relationship." "They're right." "Mm-hmm." "When I got pregnant with Izzy," "I was really afraid that he wouldn't want me anymore." "I'd be fat and I'd get sick." "And did he still..." "Want you?" "Yeah, he still wanted me." "He liked my new pregnant body." "So did I." "Then when Izzy was born" "I thought, well, now it'll be ruined." "The sex I mean." "What exactly were you worried about?" "Well, that I would be destroyed by childbirth" "And that he would be horrified by what he saw." "Were you in the room when your children were born?" "So you know." "I mean, women tear themselves apart" "To push a baby out." "I just turned into this screaming, bleeding," "Sweating animal." "I thought I'd never recover," "I would be permanently damaged." "But you did." "You did recover." "Of course." "The female body is remarkable, don't you think?" "And did he lose interest?" "No, he still wanted me." "He used to come in and take pictures of me when I was nursing." "He thought I looked beautiful." "And did you feel beautiful?" "No, I felt fat, not beautiful." "But then later" "I really got to love it." "That feeling of my breasts filling up" "And that was what she needed." "I mean, that little beautiful warm head" "In the crook of my arm," "What could be sweeter?" "So you felt important" "When you were nursing." "No, I felt like I had a purpose." "Then she grew up." "Well, they tend to do that." "Yeah." "But now it seems that" "You feel Izzy doesn't need you anymore." "She hasn't needed me for a long time." "Well, she's a teenager." "It's fairly ordinary." "No, but she pushed away from me a long time ago." "She hasn't needed me since she was 6 or 7." "You said that you felt that she'd always" "Preferred your husband to you." "Yeah, daddy's little girl." "And now you feel like they're coming together," "United against you." "Team Wiskowitz." "Look..." "I lost Izzy a long time ago." "But Russell, that..." "That was a bit of a shock." "When did you separate?" "Two years ago." "He had an affair." "Yes, you said, with one of his students." "Oh God, what a cliché, huh?" "I was faithful." "I had a lot of jobs out of town." "Many opportunities, but I resisted." "He had to go and piss all over everything." "Can I tell you something that I haven't told anyone?" "Sure." "I haven't had sex since Russell and I broke up." "You must think I'm pathetic." "There you go again." "What?" "What I think about you." "That I must think this or I must think that." "Are you hoping that maybe I'll agree with you?" "Would you like to tell me about this period" "Of abstinence?" "Well, everyone knows that a virgin has the best complexion." "So it's an aesthetic choice." "No." "I just figure," "Really, what's the point?" "You know, at my age?" "Here's the kicker." "Guess who's getting laid, or is about to?" "Izzy." "She tell you that?" "She doesn't talk to me anymore." "I've been reading her emails." "I hacked into her account." "Well, no, that sounds too sophisticated." "I guessed her password." "Do you really think that's the best way" "To get close to your daughter?" "She won't talk to me." "How would you like it if your kids stopped talking to you?" "I don't know what's going on in her life." "She says she's in love." "You don't think that's possible?" "She's 15." "I mean, a crush maybe, but love?" "And this boy, this miller..." "That's his first name..." "he's a junior." "What's he doing, messing around with a freshman?" "He's writing her love letters, you know, quoting poetry." "It's not bad poetry..." "e.E. Cummings," "William Carlos Williams, Pablo Neruda." "Sounds kind of romantic." "Innocent, even." ""flower of fire..." "Swollen fruit raised"?" "That's Neruda." "Yeah, not so innocent, huh?" "Do you feel then that he's pressuring her?" "Just the opposite." "He says he'll wait." "They have time." "He loves her, blah blah." "That sounds mature, responsible." "No, it sounds devious and Machiavellian." "He wants to get in her pants." "You have a daughter." "Patricia remembers when your daughter was born." "You had a big bouquet of pink roses out in the office." "She said you could hardly contain yourself, you were so happy." "Yeah." "We called her Rosie" "So we got a lot of roses." "You should've called her Ruby." "We should have." "She must be 18 now." "Don't you worry about her getting pregnant?" "Or H.I.V. Or genital warts?" "Do you know that 70% of sexually active kids" "Carry this virus?" "It's an epidemic." "I hadn't heard that statistic." "That's my point." "Who is this boy?" "She won't talk to me." "She won't tell me anything about him." "She just talks to Tricia." "Well, it makes a lot of sense, don't you think?" "Did you talk to your mother about sex?" "Fine." "I see your point." "Trish and Izzy..." "They even look alike." "Those big brown eyes blinking at you." "You remember?" "They're two peas in a pod." "And again, you're excluded." "When Tricia had her chemo Izzy shaved her head in solidarity." "Now she keeps on shaving it." "She looks like a big-eyed bald alien." "You find her alien?" "Don't read too much into it." "Okay." "Well, can I read a little into it?" "In what ways is she alien to you?" "What is about her besides her bald head" "That makes her seem so unfamiliar?" "The truth is, the way she looks now," "It's exactly the way she looked when I was nursing her." "Patricia couldn't have kids of her own" "And now she's sick." "And I'm jealous anyway." "Still." "I begrudge her the one pleasure she has," "Which is time with my daughter" "While she's suffering." "I had the worst thought the other DA" "Tell me." "No, Izzy's spending all of her time with Tricia." "She hardly even takes my calls and when she does," "She just guilt trips me about not being there for Trish" "Or being in the play." "Go on." "I thought..." "That maybe when Tricia's gone..." "Izzy will let me back into her life." "You know, that she'll be mine again." "Like when she was a little girl." "Do you feel that Patricia has usurped your role" "As Izzy's mother?" "Do you feel that Patricia has usurped Izzy prefers her." "Tricia's better at it." "Yet because your sister's sick," "You punish yourself for feeling resentful." "Have you spoken to Patricia about any of this?" "Have you spoken to Patricia at all?" "Yeah, once to say hi." "And did she tell you that she and I spoke?" "When?" "I called her last Wednesday." "The day after I came in." "May I ask why?" "I just wanted to see how she was doing." "I told her I heard she'd been ill," "But I didn't say how I'd heard." "She told me about the cancer." "And I asked her if she had the support she needed" "And if she was seeing a therapist." "What did she say?" "She is." "See?" "Everything's fine." "No conflict of interest." "Did you tell her that I came in?" "I didn't mention you, no." "And neither did she, which I thought was odd." "Because last week you said" "That Patricia had recommended me to you." "You said you'd asked her permission to see me" "And that she had given it to you." "Didn't say that." "You implied it." "You led me to believe that." "You certainly did nothing to correct my misconception." "You're trying to trap me." "Trap you?" "That sounds very conniving." "What, do you want to catch me in a lie?" "Did I catch you in a lie?" "I was afraid you wouldn't treat me." "For your therapy to be effective," "It's important that we be as honest" "As we can with each other." "Do you understand?" "All right." "I'm sorry." "God, it sounds like we're in a relationship or something." "Therapy is a relationship." "You're getting the short end of the stick on this one." "Why?" "Well, all the crazy, none of the sex." "I'll tell her." "Before the next session." "Okay, I promise." "Okay." "So do you know that if you test positive" "For the brca1 and your mother and your sister had breast cancer," "You have a 90% chance that you'll get sick?" "This is the test Patricia's been wanting you to take." "And it's one of the reasons why you've been avoiding seeing her." "I made the appointment," "So she can stop nagging me now." "You know what they recommend" "If you test positive for the gene?" "Prophylactic mastectomy." "That's removing both your breasts before you're sick." "Doesn't matter what the result is." "I'm not gonna have that operation." "You wouldn't ever consider having it?" "My sister had to have mastectomies." "She had cancer." "The doctor said that was her best chance." "She never thought about it." "She had them removed." "She never even had the reconstruction." "She said it made her feel powerful," "You know, to be herself, scars and all." "Oh, it looks..." "What?" "Izzy and I went to see her when she came home from the hospital." "She really wanted to show us her chest." "I wanted to say no, but I couldn't." "She just lifted up her shirt." "There was horizontal slashes." "I mean, I only looked for a second." "Of course, Izzy scolded me later." "She said, "mom, it's just skin."" "But I couldn't breathe." "So I'd better test negative." "If my life had been different, right?" "You know, if Russell would have stayed or..." "Couples, I think, get closer when stuff like this happens." "But alone?" "51." "Who would ever want me?" "How could they even see me?" "You know, would you?" "I'm sorry." "I know I'm not supposed to ask you things like that." "I didn't... just..." "You've..." "You've had a great deal of loss" "All at once." "Russell, Izzy, now Patricia" "And the threat of losing your breasts," "A part of your body that's erotic and maternal." "And that comes at a time just as Izzy herself" "Is just starting to become a woman." "Do you think I could just sit here a little bit longer?" "Thanks." "How long do I have about?" "All right." "Come on." "Thank you." "You don't tell anybody that I come to see you, right?" "Of course not." "Good." "Don't." "Our secret." "Thanks."