"[engine fires up]" "¶ On an outer space adventure" "¶ They got hit by cosmic rays" "¶ And the four were changed forever" "¶ In some most fantastic ways" "¶ No need to fear, they're here" "¶ Just call the Four" "¶ Fantastic Four" " ¶ Don't need no more - ¶ That's ungrammatical" "¶ Reed Richards is elastic" "¶ Sue can fade from sight" "¶ Johnny is the Human Torch" "¶ The Thing just loves to fight" "¶ Call the Four" "¶ Fantastic Four" "And now this is Gary Owens welcoming you back to Dick Clark's College Scholarship Telethon with Dick's special guests, The Fantastic Four." "Now let's do a quick recap of how you got your incredible powers." "Okay, but remember, folks, we're professionals." "You don't wanna try this stuff at home, huh?" "[Dick Clark] You took off in Reed's untested spaceship to investigate a weird streaking phenomenon which somehow altered normally harmless cosmic rays which changed you in amazing..." "no, make that fantastic ways." "[Gary Owens] Your lives would never be the same, but you unselfishly pledged to use your new powers for the good of mankind." "However, few buildings wanted you as tenants and your adventures began the moment you found an apartment." "A strange Puppet Master was controlling human beings through dolls sculpted in a special neuro-kinetic clay." "But his lovely blind daughter, Alicia, knew nothing of his evil schemes." "[Dick] Mad at Reed for keeping him out of the lab," "The Thing left the Baxter Building under the Puppet Master's control, resulting in Sue's capture." "The Puppet Master then forced Alicia, disguised as Sue, to accompany the entranced Thing back to the Baxter Building, not knowing he was under orders to destroy Mr. Fantastic and The Human Torch, thus clearing the way for him and his doll puppets" "to take over the city." "Aaaagh!" "Slash Curtis, a brutish, vicious criminal from the dregs of society." "The courts gave you life imprisonment, but you shall serve me well." "Welcoming you to the new escape-proof, maximum-security state prison, built when voters finally approved a construction-bond initiative." "I say no breakout till I get the guard patrols timed." "Hear me, Slash Curtis!" "Hey, sweetheart!" "Got a news flash for ya." "Jailbreak!" "[siren wails]" "They've seized the guards' weapons and are storming the gate..." "Here comes the warden!" "Warden Butler, how will you control the situation?" "No cause for alarm, Diane." "That gate is state of the art." "I've been waiting for you, Warden." "Say "Cheese. "" "[evil chuckle]" "I must be accurate." "But once I've made your likeness perfect, you too shall be my puppet slave." "I don't understand why you won't speak to me." "I feel that someone..." "some force... is preventing you." "Just one moment, Mr. Grimm, Mrs. Richards." "Stop!" "I must speak to you about the revolting chemical smells coming from Dr. Richards' laboratory." "And then there was that huge piece of scientific equipment delivered yesterday." "I'm speaking to you..." "Well, what cheek!" "[doorbell]" "Reed, can you get it?" " Reed?" " [doorbell]" "Okay." "Okay, fine." "I'll see who's there." "He might as well be on Mars when he's in his lab." "Never picks up a phone, never answers a doorbell." "Never." "Great." "Hey, Reed!" "Sue's back with tall, orange, and gruesome!" "Terrific time for you guys to forget your keys!" "I just got out of the shower and..." "Hey!" "What's with you, Ben?" "If I wasn't soaking wet," "I'd flame on and barbecue your spareribs!" " Ben!" "Is that your name?" " Sue?" "Reed!" "Reed, help!" "The Thing's gone bananas!" " Oh!" " [growls]" "Ben, stop!" "What's wrong?" "What's gotten into you?" "Your eyes, they're glassy." "You don't know what you're doing." "If you want me, come and get me!" "[grunting]" "Sorry, Ben." "That was the only way to stop you." "And now we'll see if my formula works." "My head." "What's... what's happening?" "My... my... my face, it... it's human!" "Hey, I'm Ben Grimm again!" "Hey, I'm..." "I'm..." "I'm me!" "It's the formula I've been working on." "I didn't want to tell you." "I didn't wanna raise your hopes." "What's wrong with me?" "I come here to clobber my best friends and..." "Hey, Johnny!" "[Ben] Are you okay?" "I..." "I didn't mean to hurt ya." "Hey, you're yourself." "You're Ben again." "Not that it's much of an improvement." "Oh, yeah?" "How'd you like a knuckle casserole?" "Won't somebody tell me where I am, who you all are?" "The resemblance is uncanny, but she's not Sue." "I remember now." "She's the Puppet Master's stepdaughter." "Hey, come here." "The poor kid's, well, she's blind." "She sure does look like sis, but where's Sue, and who the heck is the Puppet Master?" "Him?" "He's a weirdo with a place in the Village." "Sue's his prisoner there, but... [gruff voice] Well, it ain't her fault." "Your voice." "You're the strong, kindly one who came to my stepfather's house." "But you seem different now." "No, wait." "It is you!" "Yes!" "You are the same wonderful person!" "Yeah, wonderful!" "Hmm." "I'm sorry the formula wasn't permanent, Ben, but we've got to move!" "I can't leave Sue in the hands of a madman." "Flame on!" "[Thing] The squirt gets to fly and we gotta go catch a cab!" "[Reed] I think I can do better than that." "I call it the Fantasticar." "You wait here, kid, and I'll be back for you." "I want a 24-hour lockdown, Clancy." "You got it, Warden." "And put Slash Curtis in solitary." "I..." "Warden Butler!" "Hear me!" "Hey, you okay, Warden?" "Warden?" "Warden Butler, the man you saw put down a prison riot only moments ago is now acting very strangely." "Must free all prisoners." "Must free all prisoners." "Must free them... now." "But, Warden, you can't do that!" "Warden!" "No!" "He's activating the gate control!" "What is happening?" "The warden!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Now seize him, prisoners!" "Quickly!" "Take him to the main cellblock!" "Yes, Slash!" "With him as your hostage, you can begin to negotiate for the things I want!" "[evil cackle] [reporter] A detachment of guards has just moved in to surround the main cellblock but the rioting prisoners have taken control and, more important, they now hold Warden Lewis G Butler in their hands." "[grunts] Getting out of this chair would be easy for Reed, but I'll have to do it the old-fashioned way." "Phew!" "I'm out of here!" "And Slash Curtis has just designated himself chief negotiator for the rioting prisoners." "What's this?" "Did the Invisible Woman think" "I'd be unprepared for an escape attempt?" "How foolish!" "[Sue] Oh!" "The force of the fall shook me into visibility." " I must get away." " It's useless to resist me." "You are my helpless puppet!" "[Reed] Sullivan Street dead ahead." "Let's pray we're not too late." "There." "That's the street number Alicia gave us." "Hurry, Ben!" "It's clobberin' time!" " Sue, darling!" " Reed!" "I can't run away." "He's controlling me with a puppet doll." "I have one for you too, my friends!" "And I've got somethin' for you, Bug Eyes!" "There's no way you'll escape." "It's you who won't escape!" "[laughs maniacally] [droning voice] Won't escape." "Won't escape." "Won't escape." "[Johnny] He's getting away with Sue!" "Won't escape." "Won't escape." "Ow!" "I got him, Johnny." "Can't... hold him." "Ben!" "I hear you, Stringbean!" " Say goodnight, Gracie!" " Won't escape." "Won't escape..." "Now, let's find Susy Q." "[Puppet Master] You're too late!" "Can't get there, but have to try!" "Hold it, Stretcho!" "Look at the kid!" "Hang on, sis." "I'm on the way." "She's yours." "No!" "Johnny, help!" "Moved too fast." "I'm out of gas." "You had it when it counted." "Great job, son!" "I guess I wasn't too shabby at that, was I?" "Don't ever put me through that again, sweetheart." "Well, it wasn't fun for me either, darling." "Hey, hey, hey!" "Smooch later." "Look, we got work to do." "Slash Curtis has just demanded weapons and freedom for all prisoners or the warden will pay the price." "Let's get busy." "Fantasticar front and center." "We're going directly to jail." "Well, the cops gotta play ball with us long as we got the warden here." "Just to make sure that they don't get a little cute, we're gonna take us out an insurance policy." "Bull!" "Skink!" "You know what to do!" "Silly me." "Forgot to thank you for opening the gates for us." "Must free all prisoners." "Must free all prisoners." "Things have been quiet since Slash Curtis made his demands but..." "What in the world...?" "It's the fantastic Flying Torch, the Stretchable Man, and that powerful, incredible Thing!" "They rescued the jumper off the 59th Street Bridge the other day!" "They're traveling in some sort of amazing flying vehicle and..." "Oh!" "Just hang loose, honey, and you won't get hurt." "This won't be as easy as I'd hoped." "Now they've got both the warden and that televisión reporter as hostages." "If we make the slightest mistake, it could cost them their lives." "And the total continues to grow." "Ladies and gentlemen, your tribute to the Fantastic Four is gonna give a lot of kids the great education they deserve and our country needs." "Now, let's get back to the exciting story of..." " Where's The Thing, Gary?" " Well, we're not sure, Dick." "He went backstage during the commercial break and... [grunting]" "No sweat, Jack." "Ol' Blue Eyes is back!" "I figure if we're gonna raise a ton of money for education, we gotta sell the most educational stuff of all." "Namely, the adventures of yours truly and my three assistants." "So cough up some cash 'cause I don't like deadbeats." "The audience has already been very generous, but if you'll sit down, I'll buy those books." "You... you will?" "Hey, great!" "By the way, I got plenty more where these came from." "[chuckles] How nice." "All right, now back to the story of the Puppet Master." "[Reed] By the time we arrived, the situation at the prison had reached the boiling point." "[Sue] We've gotta do something but can't risk a direct assault." "[Thing] All right, Brain-O, you got smarts." "Now use 'em." "Hmm." "We've got to make a two-pronged attack." "Sue and I will go high while you and Ben go low." "Okay." "What's a prong?" "[Reed] Start the low-prong phase now!" "Come on, Matchstick." "Let's make like heroes." "That crazy plane!" "I can't see it no more and..." "Aagh!" "Let 'em have it!" "You rang?" "There's nothin' like recycling' scrap metal... to keep the garbage in." "Now that Slash is out of it, I'm takin' charge." "Oh, yeah?" "Who says?" "I'm the..." " Ooh!" " Naughty, naughty." " Get her!" " Reed, now!" "Excuse me, gentlemen." "What's the hurry?" "I'd say this wraps things up, in every sense of the word." "I don't know how to thank you." "I must have been temporarily insane." "You were simply another victim of the Puppet Master, Warden Butler." "We'll bring him to justice." "Didn't know you was a sculptor." "Reed helped me move all your stuff from your stepfather's house and..." "Huh?" "Finding a home for me was your idea, wasn't it, Ben?" "Nah." "We all decided." "I mean, hey, you know," "Reed's got some bucks from his inventions and, well..." "Yeah, I guess it was." "I've never met any man as kind and as beautiful as you." "Yeah, well, you're kind of nice too." "Hey, look, I gotta go." "I gotta find that Puppet Master and..." "like that." "I gotta go." "You take it easy, though, okay?" "Dear Ben." "Dear, dear Ben." "[Reed] I neutralized the last of the Puppet Master's neuro-kinetic clay." "He can never use it again to control innocent people." "Great, but what if he's still out there, maybe cooking up another batch?" "Yeah." "I mean, as long as that little creep's around," "Alicia could have a problem." "Alicia!" "Of course." "We've got to hurry." " Where?" " Why?" "To Alicia's new apartment." "If he set clay aside for emergencies, she's the first one he'll head for!" " Flame on!" " [Sue] That poor girl." "We've gotta save her from that evil geek." "[door opens]" "Ben, is that you?" "No, dear girl." "It's I, your beloved stepfather." "You have something which belongs to me:" "the most powerful puppet of them all." "I wish you could see it, Alicia." "It's a small figure of me, not as I am now, a hunted man." "No." "It is I as the true Puppet Master, ruler of all the world." "[chuckles]" "Now that I have tested my power and know that it works, I can do anything I wish." "Once I have subjected the entire world to my puppet, kings, presidents, and armies will do my bidding." "My first official act will be to tear down the United Nations, the White House, the Pentagon!" "All power will reside only in me." "I will be supreme!" "For that fantastic foursome who have defied me, they shall be my slaves and their humiliation will be my sweetest victory!" "You're mad!" "Sick!" " Careful, you little fool!" " No!" "Let me have it!" "Give it to me!" "I and my royal puppet are one." "No!" "Aaghhh!" "Stepfather!" "It's all right, kid." "I'm here." "You're safe now." "Oh, Ben." "He went out the window." "I heard the glass breaking." "Oh!" "There's no sign of him outside." "It's as if he vanished from the face of the earth." " Perhaps it's better that way." " What happened, Reed?" "What made the Puppet Master fall?" "Perhaps a power greater than ours." "[Dick] That's the story of the Fantastic Four." "Thank you so much for your generous contributions." "Remember, every dollar spent on a college education brings more than you could ever count." "Gary?" "Dick and I would like to thank you very much." "You four were great guests and..." "There's only three of you." "[Dick] What a fantastic salesman." "[Gary] Tell me about it, oh, rich one." "¶ There's Galactus looking hungry" "¶ And Doctor Doom is near" "¶ Here come the Skrulls invading" "¶ Do you run and hide in fear?" "¶ No way, no way, no way" "¶ Just call the Four" "¶ Fantastic Four" "¶ That's all, no more Now, that's grammatical" "¶ Reed Richards is elastic" "¶ Sue can fade from sight" "¶ Johnny is the Human Torch" "¶ The Thing just loves to fight" "¶ Call for the Four" "¶ Fantastic Four"