"to a dreadful dynasty of vicious vampire ducks." "The Counts of Duckula!" "Legend has it that these fowl beings can be destroyed... by a stake through the heart or exposure to sunlight." "This does not suffice, however... for they may be brought back to life... by means of a sacred rite... that can be performed once a century... when the moon is in the eighth house of Aquarius!" " Batswing blood." " I'll get it!" "The latest reincarnation did not run according to plan." "Ooh!" "In the heart of Transylvania" "In the Vampire Hall of Fame, yeah" "There's not a vampire zanier than" "Duckula" "He won't bite beast or man" "'Cause he's a vegetarian" "And things never run to plan for" "Duckula" "If you're lookin' for some fun" "You can always count upon" "The wild and wacky one they call" "Duckula" "Heh heh!" "Count Duckula!" "Heh heh heh!" "It is morning at Castle Duckula... and the wretched fiends of the night... slither from their ghastly pits... to greet another ghastly day and break their ghastly fast." "Here's your breakfast, Duckypoos." "Lovely Crunchy Munchies." "Crunchy Munchies?" "Nanny, I hate them." "It's the box tops that I like." "Oh, I see." "Mmm, quite nice." "It'd be nicer with some nice warm milk, though." "No!" "Hey, stop that, Nanny!" "Oh, look, you nearly ate the token." "Oh, that's the best bit, is it?" "Yes, it is, Nanny, but you don't eat it, you save it." " I'll put it with the others." " Others?" "Fourteen thousand, nine hundred and ninety-eight." "Oh, I just need two more, and then I can send off... for my supersonic X-ray goggles and protective space helmet... as worn by Tremendous Terence, Hero of Space." "Oh, if only I had two more packets of Crunchy Munchies." "Yes." "Ooh." " What is it, Nanny?" " Silly Nanny." "Here, look, I always carries a couple of packets... in case of emergencies." "Hey!" "Wow!" "Great, Nanny!" "Now I can be just like Tremendous Terence." "Igor!" "Igor, what I need is a box." "A box, sir?" "Oh, yes, sir." "I'm sure we can find one your size." "No, Igor, not one of them." "I just want an ordinary, common or garden cardboard box." "But, milord, look." "Here we have teak, mahogany, oak." "No, Igor, cardboard." "I want a plain cardboard box... to send away all my Crunchy Munchy tokens... so I can be just like Tremendous Terence." "Oh, very well, milord." "They'll probably be one in the lumber room." " This way, sir." " Great!" "Ha ha!" "Whoo!" "I didn't know we had a lumber room." "Oh, so this is a lumber room, huh?" "Soon I'll be Daring Duckula, Hero of Outer Space." "OK, Goosewing, get ready." "What was that?" "I said, get ready." "Oh, speak up." "I said..." "Oh, this is no good." "I can't hear myself speaking." "Ah, so..." "That's better." "Now, are you ready, Goosewing?" "Ja, I am being ready." "Then, Duckula, prepare to meet your fate." "I don't believe it." "All this junk and still no cardboard box." "Ooh, so that's where they were." "What, Nanny?" "Cardboard boxes?" "No, silly, those bottles of my homemade sarsaparilla." "Let's open one now." "No!" "No, Nanny, please!" "Remember what happened the last time you opened some of that?" "It's lethal!" "Oh, now, don't be silly, Duckypoos." "There's nothing wrong with it." "It's just a little bit lively, that's all." "Look." "Drei, zwei, eins, fire!" "There, you see?" "There's nothing to be afraid of." "Ha ha!" "I've done it!" "Dr. Von Goosewing, greatest vampire hunter in the world, has done it!" "Ha!" "Duckula is no more!" "Ha ha ha ha!" " Uh, Nanny..." " Y-Y-Yes, D-D-Duckypoos?" "I told you that sarsaparilla was l-l-l-lethal." "All right, I'll p-put the top back on... on... on... on... on... on." "D-D-Don't be s-s-s-s-silly..." "N-N-N-N-N-N-Nanny." "What good's that going to do?" "Well, it stopped all that wobbling for a start." "Ooh, save us." "What's happening?" "Nanny, will you stop fooling around?" "Come down here." "I can't." "What do you mean, you can't?" "Haven't you heard of gravity?" "Well, all I can say is that if this is gravity I don't like it." "No, Nanny, this isn't gravity." "That's just the point." "There isn't any." " I see." " No, you don't, Nanny." " No?" " No." "Of course, this happens to Tremendous Terence all the time... whenever he goes into space." "Space, milord?" "Yes." "Whenever Terence takes off in the Shirley Temple." "The Shirley Temple, milord?" "His spaceship, Igor." " He named it after his favorite film star." " Ugh." "After they unstrap their space belts, they always float about a lot." "And we are now experiencing the same phenomenon, milord?" "Phenomenomemon." "That's right, Igor." "Then that can only mean one thing." "Yes, Igor." "We're in space." "Igor, we're in space." " Indeed, milord." " Ooh, isn't it dark out there?" "There appears to be a large lumpy mass heading towards us, milord." "Oh." "Uh-oh." "Here, who are you calling lumpy?" "No, not you, Nanny." "He meant out there." "That's an asteroid storm." "Tremendous Terence's ship got hit by one of them once... and all the air got sucked out, and he couldn't breathe." "It's getting a bit stuffy in here and all." " I'll just open the door." " No, Nanny, don't open the..." "Ooh!" "Oh, trust Nanny to go and get herself lost in space." "And the asteroids are approaching rather quickly, milord." "Oh, this is terrible." "Oh, what would Tremendous Terence do in a spot like this?" "Mmm, I fear nothing can be done, milord." "That asteroid is heading straight for us... and there appears to be another huge object heading towards the asteroid." "I can't quite make it out." "It's Nanny." "Oh, dear." "Now, how did that happen?" "Well done, Nanny." "You saved us." "Quick, quick, Igor, get ready." "She's floating closer to us." "Then we're doomed again, milord." "No, Igor." "I mean get ready to catch her and pull her back in." "Um, look, grab that fishing net." "Oh!" "Ooh!" "Ooh, it's nice to be home." "Hardly home, Nanny." "Now, let's see what Tremendous Terence would do next." "Yes." "Mm-hmm." "Tremendous Terence finished brushing his teeth... and stepped into the trusty rocket ship, Shirley Temple." ""I must away," he said..." ""to save Mars from those evil creeps, the Oids."" "Boy, he sure is brave, huh, Igor?" "Oh, indubitably, milord." "Yeah, going to Mars to fight the most dangerous and evil race... in the whole universe completely single-handed." "Boy, what a guy." "I think I'm going to be sick." "These Oids really stink, Igor." "In fact, no one goes near them." "I mean, you must have heard of the expression, "Beware the Oids of Mars."" "Beware the..." "Little joke there, Igor." "Do you get it?" " Yes, sir." " See?" "Look." "That's an Oid." "Revolting, isn't it?" "Oh, it's ghastly, sir." "Those flashing eyes and the blonde hair... and the... oh, the smile." "Smile?" "No, Igor, that's Tremendous Terence." "I mean the other page, the other one." "Look, there, there... the Oid there." "Oh." "Now, that's altogether different, milord." "I rather like that... especially the way his little nose turns up at the end." "Oh." "Which one?" "The one in the middle, milord." "Oh, yeah." "Just a minute, Igor." "This is a nasty, vicious space monster." "He can't have a cute turned-up nose." "Listen to what it says about them here." "Duckypoos." "In a minute, Nanny." "Listen to this, Igor." "The two-headed Oid approached Terence." ""Say your prayers, earth-spawn," he rasped..." ""and then I shall eat you."" ""Ha," laughed Terence." ""You can't eat me."" ""Oh, yes, I can." "I'm an Oid." ""I'm nasty and I'm hungry... and I can eat anyone, anywhere, anytime."" "Most admirable." "Duckypoos." "Will you stop interrupting, Nanny?" "Look, there's a picture of an Oid's ship." "Ooh, boy, it looks mean." "Ha ha." "Tinted windows, twin exhausts, and loaded down... with headlamps and heat-seeking nuclear missiles and..." "And a roof rack... and one of those silly flippy-floppy radio aerials and all." "Yes." "A roof rack and flippy-floppy..." "How did you know that, Nanny?" "There's one heading straight for us right now." "What?" "Where?" "Oh." "Help!" "The Oids are coming!" "Oh, why didn't you say something, Nanny?" "Well, I did, but..." "Hey, Neville, look at what's up ahead." "Oh, lunch." "Good, I'm starving." "I've got a tin of barbecue sauce I've been wanting to use for ages." "Lasers are set." "Barbecue sauce ready." "Cheap warm wine ready." "Overpowering smoke fumes guaranteed to blow in your face... wherever you're standing ready." "Loud disco music to annoy the neighbors ready." "Hey, this sounds like it's gonna be a great barbecue." "Let's go." "Now, let's see now." "Oh, yes." "Um, here we are." "As the Oid craft approached, Tremendous Terence stood firm... his steely blue eyes unwavering and his jaw set square." "Is that what I think it is?" "Oh." "Oh, I hope not." "You know what fanfares mean all the way out here." " You don't mean..." " Oh, yes, I do." " Tremendous Terence!" " Tremendous Terence!" "My, my." "What's this?" "It looks like a job for my amazingly keen superpowers." "Tremendous Terence away!" "He's saved us." "Saved by Tremendous Terence!" "I don't think you'll be bothered by those Oids again in a hurry." "Boy, you were tremendous, Tremendous!" "I was rather, wasn't I?" "Yeah, the way you saw off those Oids." "Did you see the way he saw off those Oids, Igor?" "Most impressive." "Yes, I..." "I couldn't have put it better myself." "Oh, I'm your greatest fan." "Boy, I love your helmet." "You know, I'm getting one, too." "Look." "I've got all the tokens." "I just couldn't find a cardboard box to send them in." "Mmm." "He wants some of your giggles and all." "My, my, we have eaten a lot of Crunchy Munchies." "Well, if you'd care to give me those tokens, it just so happens... that I'm carrying a spare helmet and goggle set in my ship." "Boy, look at this!" "Look at this, Igor!" "Very smart, milord." "You got it, Igor..." "smart, snappy, snazzy, and..." "Say, what's that down there?" "That?" "Oh, no!" "What is it, Tremendous?" "Is it full of Oids and evil space fiends and blood-thirsty space pirates and stuff?" "Hardly." "That... that is Planet Kute." "You'd have to be a madman to go there." "Yes." "You can call me a madman." "You can call me a crazy, reckless, foolhardy... fool... but that is where I am going." "Daring Duckula, Space Explorer, fears nothing." "Oh, no." "But Planet Kute, I mean..." "That is where we are going to right wrongs... to protect the weak and... and, um, so forth." "Come on, Igor, to the controls." "What controls, milord?" "Well, the contr... the..." "Ah." "There you have me." "Oh, drat." "And just when I thought I was going to be a hero like you, too." "Well, if you really want to go there..." "Oh, I do, I do!" "Please, milord, I beg you to reconsider." "No, Igor." "My mind is made up." "Well, in that case, I'll drop you off... but I'm not staying, mind." "Ta da da da!" "Daring Duckula away!" "Farewell, Daring Duckula." "I must away." "Oh, already I can feel the influence of the planet affecting me." "Yes, this is good-bye." "Uh, what's the date today?" "The date?" "It's May the Fourth." "Why?" "Then May the Fourth be with you." "Milord, I feel this adventure is extremely unwise." "Unwise, Igor?" "Unwise?" "Of course it is." "It's rash, and it's foolhardy... but it's also brave and heroic and bold." "With a devil-may-care grin playing about his finely chiseled beak..." "Daring Duckula, Space Hero, strode boldly forth... to meet who-knows-what dangers on Planet Kute." "Ooh, isn't it nice here?" "Mmm, it doesn't look very dangerous." "Not much of a challenge." "Huh." "Still, you never can tell." "Come, men." "And me?" "Yes, and you, Nanny." "Let's explore." "No, milord, let's not." "I don't like it." "It's... it's..." "It's kind of cute." " Precisely, milord." " Hi!" "I'm Adorable Amy... and I'm your Kute hostess... and I'd just love to show you our planet, because I care about you." "Oh, this is even worse than I imagined." "And these are my little helpers." "Hi." "We're really pleased you could come." " Yes, hi." "Hello." " Hello there." "Yes, we're really glad you're here, because we love you." " Welcome to our planet." " Hi." "Hello." "We're really glad you're here, because we love you." "Welcome." "Ah." "Oh." "Ahem." "Good." "Uh, good... good morning." "Oh, little bunnies." "Aren't they nice?" "They are quite vile, Nanny." "We're the Kute bunnies." "Yeah, yeah, I can see that." "We're cute, and we're sweet, and you can cuddle us if you like." "Well..." "That is... that is, thanks, but no thanks." "We're kind to our mothers, and we never tell lies." "We do a good deed every day, and we never drop litter." "No." "And we're winsome and appealing... and cute and cuddly and kissable." "And who are you?" "Yes." "Oh, yes, who are you?" "Tell us, do." "Oh, please, please, please, please, please." "We'd love to know, because we care, and we're interested." "And we feel good about being cute and cuddly and lovely and wonderful." " So, will you tell us?" " Please?" " Pretty please?" " Double pretty please?" "Double pretty please with pink frilly bows on?" "I forgot the question." "Never fear, milord." "I will save you from these vile creatures." "Oh, dear." "Poor, poor man." "Is he all right?" "Probably just a little tired." "We have come a long way." "Of course you have." "And you must be hungry." "Here, let's go into the cutest little cafe you ever did see." "It's called Ickle Wickle Scrummikins Dinette." "You are hungry, aren't you?" "Hungry?" "You bet." "Boy, that's the first good thing anybody's said down here." "Yes, I am hungry." "What have you got?" "Perhaps you'd like to try a Kute Surprise." "It's our national dish, you know." "A Kute Surprise, huh?" "Well, what's that?" "It's Scrummyumptious." "Ooh!" "Oh, good." "It's made from honey, ice cream, raspberry jelly, marshmallows... maple syrup, chocolate sauce, fudge ripple, cherry cola... whipped cream, and maraschino cherries, with a side order... of three different sorts of sugar and saccharin topping." "Oh, I just remembered that I'm..." "I'm on a diet." "In that case, let's go to the Kute Gift Shop." "We can pick flowers on the way." "Oh, peachy keen." "Isn't it just?" "Ooh, I likes picking flowers." "Oh, please." "Those are trees." "Well, they look like flowers to me." "Please be more careful... or I shall have to sprinkle you with Happy Dust." "Happy Dust, huh?" "Hmm." "What is that?" "It's a special powder found only on Planet Kute." "It makes even the nastiest things cute and cuddly... and wonderful and lovely and scrummy and sweet and..." "And cuddly and wonderful and lovely and scrummy and sweet... and I don't think I can take much more of this." "Oh, we don't like grouches on Planet Kute." "I think I'm going to have to sprinkle you all with Happy Dust." "Aah!" "Yuck!" "Igor!" "Ooh, Igor, you're..." "Well, you're... you're cute." "I know, milord, I know... and I don't like it." "I don't like it at all." "We've got to get out of here, Igor." "You got us into this mess, sir." "I feel obliged to say that you ought to get us out." "Yes, I know that, but how?" "Oh, how?" "Transylvania, I'm sorry I was so rude about you." "How I long for the dullness, the darkness, and the gloominess again." "Well, I don't know what you're making such a fuss about." "I think it's lovely here." "Yes, well, you would, Nanny." "Yes." "In fact, I think I'll let these nice people... have some of my lovely homemade sarsaparilla." "Sarsaparilla?" "Of course, that's it." "Quick, to the rocket!" "I mean to the lumber room!" "Nanny's sarsaparilla got us here, and it's going to get us back, too." " Come on." " Oh, come back." "Come back." "We were just about to play some really neat games." "Come back, come back!" "We love you!" "Uhh!" "Quick, pull the corks." "Huh." "Oh, drat." "Drat and drat again!" "It didn't work." "L..." "I don't understand it." "If one bottle got us here, why couldn't 35 bottles get us back?" "Just one moment, milord." "Yes, of course... the clock." "Of course, the clock, indeed." "What are you jabbering about now, Igor?" "Well, milord, according to my calculations... if the North Star is..." "Ah, yes, and the rings of Saturn..." "Then Andromeda should be..." "Ah, good." "It should be dawn in Transylvania." "Yes, but, hold on, Igor." "Will the returning mechanism work with only just part of the castle?" "Never having been in precisely this predicament before, milord..." "I cannot be certain, but we can hope." "Oh, please, won't you come out to play with us?" "Come and play." "Pretty, pretty please?" "No!" "Go away!" "Whew!" "Boy, was that ever a narrow escape." "Come on, you two, back into the castle." "Oh, it's good to be back in the old place once again." "Home, sour home." "Yeah, you can say that again." "Oh, it's good to be back in the old place..." "No, no, Igor." "I didn't mean for you to say it again." "It's just a figure of speech." "Oh, deary, deary me." "What a gloomy old place." "Well, we'll soon chase those nasty cobwebs away." " Oh, no!" " Oh, no!" "Ooh!" "Aah!" "And so once more we leave this fairy tale land... where dreams come true... and pixies and bunnies dance about all day long... to the tinkling of fairy music." "Good night out there, whatever you are." "If you're feeling..." "Or you're kind of..." "Could be you've met up with" "Duckula" "If your knees go..." "And your teeth go..." "Maybe you've bumped into" "Duckula" "He flies through the night" "Looking for a bite" "But he's back home by daylight" "Duckula" "If you're sort of..." "Or you're a little..." "It's certain you've run into" "Duckula" "If your heart goes..." "Or your mind goes..." "Man, you had a brush with" "Duckula" "So watch out for the..." "Beware of the..." "And pray you'll never meet with" "Duckula" "Count Duckula"