"Hello!" "It's all right." "All right." "Come on." "There we are." "Good morning, Mr Herriot." "Hello, Mrs Butler." " Me man's in t'carving shed." "Right. I just thought I'd drop this little thing off first." "It is one of yours, isn't it?" " No, we've got no kittens at present." "Oh." "He must have strayed from somewhere else." "Can I have a look it, please?" " Of course." "Poor little beggar." "It's only just alive." "Where did you find it?" "In the rushes by the pond." " Poor little thing." "What is it?" "'lm or 'er?" " lt's an 'im." "Er, him." "Well, since they found you in t'rushes, we'll have to call you Moses." "You'll have him?" " lf he makes out, aye." "I'll pop him in t'oven to get it warm a bit." "Oh, erm..." " Don't fret yourself, Mr Herriot." "An hour in a warm oven has saved many a weakened little 'un." "You'll see. lf he's any use, he'll be lapping milk in an hour." "He's in good hands." "I'll see to those calves." "I'll have a pot of tea waiting for you." " Thank you." "Morning, Mrs Hall." " Morning, Mr Herriot." "Er, no, Mr Farnon's had the mail." "Oh, I see." "Nothing for me, I suppose." "Nowt but a letter." "Thank you, Mrs Hall." "is she well, then?" "Hm?" " Mrs Herriot, is she well?" "Yes, she's splendid." "Misses us all." " l thought it was from her." "is her aunt better?" " Coming along it seems." "She won't be with us for a while yet, though." "Cheeky...!" "Have you seen him yet?" " Seen him?" "My God, has he got out of bed on the wrong side this morning!" "If he..." "James, you're not even listening to me." " Hm?" "Oh, what's that?" "Siegfried." "He's on the prowl." "Simmering like a corked volcano." "What have you done?" " Apart from existing, nothing." "but it's the bad debt problem." " How?" "Oh, James." "Cast your mind back." "Remember how it was before Helen?" "When Siegfried had to deal with the chronic bad payers." "Screaming fits, howling rage..." "mental breakdowns." "Every practice has bad debts." "Siegfried's just discovered the same ones up to their tricks again, despite his PNS system." " PNS?" "You know, his system of letters." "Personal, nasty, solicitor's." "The really hard cases never pay any attention to it anyway." "He can always prosecute." " Yes, but he won't." "Good morning." " What's good about it?" "Sun's shining..." " Who asked you?" "I told you Henry Branson was to pay cash on the nail." "Yes, well, I tried." " You must demand." "It's a year since we've seen his money yet I've seen him on the racecourse." "I'll have a word." " Look!" "27 and 6 owing from old Sonner." "They say he's got thousands." " They do say..." "Bert Mason." "Driving around in a new car and we've had nothing for 18 months!" "If this keeps up, we shall go under." "Finished." "Bankrupt." "Yes." "Yes, I see." "They're all here." "All the old bunch." "Major Bullivant, Charlie Townsend." "Dennis Pratt!" " What shall we do?" "You will do nothing as usual." "I shall declare war." "All-out PNS." "And if that fails, I shall call in the law." "You like Dennis Pratt." " l do like him but this is business!" "is that too subtle for your callow brain?" " No need to be offensive." "My boy, you don't know the meaning of the word yet!" "See what I mean?" " Yes." "James, will you put Wilkinson on your list today?" "He's got a colt that needs a tumour removing." "I'll come with you." " Haven't you anything to do?" "As you're dealing with paperwork, I'd rather get practical experience in." "Exam time again soon." "You don't mind my coming, do you?" " The state he's in?" "It'd be cruel to leave you here." " Mm. I agree." ". ..my lady Greensleeves... ." "Do you know the words?" " Not well." "." "Greensleeves..." "." "Here we are" ". in time to see the colt . ..my lady..." "The colt" "." "La da da-da... ." "." "Greensleeves... ." "Hello?" " Hello." "Anyone home?" "Yoo-hoo!" "Anyone home?" "Ah, hello." "Mr Wilkinson about?" "Boss in't in but he said you're to see to t'horse." "Oh." "Where is it?" "In there." "Fine." "We'll take a look at it." "In there?" "Thanks." "Hardly sounds like a colt, does he?" " Quite." "He ain't no colt." "Six-year-old stallion is Dancer." "My God." "I suppose we'd better have a look." " Go ahead." "Quite large, isn't he?" "All right." "All right." "Easy." "Ah!" "Well, James?" " Well, he's got a growth under his belly." "Probably papillima." " Papilloma." "Yes, well, er, what's your plan?" "We can't be certain that this is the right horse." "It is, mister." " Well, I was led to expect a colt." "It's hardly that, is it?" "Yes, James, you were saying?" "I think we should postpone treatment until Mr Wilkinson is here." "But t'boss said..." " Good." "That's settled." "Come on, Tris." "Admit it, James, you funked it." "Of course I admit it. lt'd take an army to deal with that stallion." "Someone has to." " lt's a nonmalignant tumour. lt can wait." "Ah, there you are." "Well, James?" " Got through everything on the list." "And Wilkinson's foal?" " Well, it was hardly a foal." "What's the difference?" "You dealt with it?" "Not exactly, no." "We have the most precise instrument of communication, the English language..." "Wilkinson wasn't there so I thought it better to wait." "Something amuses you?" "No, of course not." "Then would you explain these meaningless outbreaks of mirth?" "It's nothing." " Are you drunk?" "Certainly not!" "I find people who laugh for no reason disturbing." "Please curb your eccentric sense of humour." "I shall do more than that." "I shall leave the surgery." "Excellent!" "Now, James, have you not removed the tumour from that colt?" "Er, yes..." " But you'll make arrangements to do so?" "There is a problem." " Excellent." "You see, axe the ifs and buts, eliminate the hesitations and what have you got?" " Communication." "Precisely." "Mr Farnon, that Dennis Pratt called to pick up his medicine." "He was here?" "!" " Aye." "Come to collect his pessaries." "You let Dennis Pratt into my surgery?" " You told him he could have 'em." "I told him no such thing!" " There is no need to raise your voice." "That villain had no right..." " l was not to know that." "And I'll thank you to speak civil if you will." "Sorry, Mrs Hall." "My apologies of course." "That contriving Dennis Pratt." "I'll..." "I'll... I'll put salt on his tail." "Thank you, Mrs Hall." "She's drinking a lot of water, is she?" "Aye." "Never seems to be away from the water bowl." "Won't touch food, though, Mr Herriot." "She hasn't had a bite for days." "She's been ill for some time, hasn't she?" "Well, not rightly ill just a bit off, like." "But I worried when she stopped eating." "She will be all right, won't she?" "She's got acute pyometritis." "That's a bad infection of the womb." "It's a very serious condition." "Isn't there anything you can do for her?" "You see, Dinah's in very poor shape." "I mean, she is 1 1 years old and her heart is weak." "I'm not sure she'd survive an operation." "I don't care how much it costs, Mr Herriot." "Leave her here for a few days and let's see what I can do." "Oh, thank you." "It doesn't matter how much it costs." "I'll do what I can." "Now, you'll be a good girl, won't you, Dinah?" "Bye, Mrs Barker." "It's all right, Dinah." "Hello, could I have Hartington 713, please?" "Yes." "Thanks." "Good evening, this is James Herriot." "I'm with Siegfried Farnon at Darrowby." "Yes." "Thing is, I've got rather a sticky job on here." "Do you think you could take it on for me?" "Bah-hah!" "Well, James, you'll be relieved to hear I've got all those wretched bills off at last." "Oh, fine. I wish you luck." "Luck has nothing to do with hard cases like Dennis Pratt." "No, no." "Tactics, strategy - that's the order of the day." "You'll really think he'll pay up?" "I do admit that Dennis Pratt is in a class of his own." "Any man who manages to build up a bill of £50 for haircuts at the barber's commands a certain respect." "He's an out-and-out con man." " James, a little charity." "Possibly you're right." "I think it simply never occurs to him to pay his bills." "When you come down to it..." "he's such a damn likable fellow." "Legal action's out of the question." " You've changed your tune." "No. I mean to recover every penny." "And you think you will succeed where every other trader has failed?" "Psychology, James." "Let me explain." "Thursday's market day." "Also the end of the quarter." " Right." "What if I get Dennis up here while all our good clients are paying their bills?" "The flutter of cheques." "The chink of coins, the rustle of notes." "Exactly." "And you think that will bring the brass pouring out of Dennis?" "You'll see. lt'll work." "Aye." "All right, Mr Wilkinson." "Aye, I won't forget." "Right." "Goodbye." "Mr Wilkinson, White Cross Farm, wants you to do summat about his hoss." "Thank you, Mrs Hall." "It's the animal with the growth on t'stomach." "Yes, we're all aware which animal he means." "Well, he wants it done today." " Right." "Thank you, Mrs Hall." "James, why haven't you made arrangements to deal with that colt?" "With one thing..." " l'm sorry, James." "This kind of negligence is not acceptable." "I'm sorry, too." "Anyway, put it first on your list for today." "I mean today." "Well, I'm visiting the surgery at Hartington today." "You're seeing Granville Bennet?" "Mrs Barker's dog is sick and he's one of the few people who can deal with it." "Of course." " Well, you're going up White Cross way." "I've too much on my list already." "The colt won't take you long." "It's a nonmalignant..." "Papilloma." " Thank you." "It's a quick job." " lt's only a colt." "All right." "But I shall need your help, Tristan." "Oh, no!" " Oh, yes." "All right, James." "Er..." "Wilkinson." "And good luck with Mrs Barker's Dinah." "Oh, thank you." "Thanks!" "Bye." "Mr Herriot?" " Yes, hello." "Mr Bennet's expecting you." "is this the patient?" "Yes. I have already sedated her." "There we are." "Her name's Dinah." "Right, Dinah, you come with me." "There." "That's it." "James Herriot!" " Oh!" "Glad to meet you, Mr Bennet." "Granville." "Granville." "Has the old girl had a sedative?" " Yes." "Her name's Dinah." " Hello, Dinah. lt's going to be all right." "She's got a stinking pyo." " Lovely." "And she's 1 1 years old." " Splendid." "Splendid." "With a dicky heart." " Even better." "And toxic as well." " Excellent." "Sounds right up my street." "Would you care to watch?" " Yes, please." "Right." "Let's get on with it, shall we?" "That's it, old girl." "There we are." "It's Pentothal." "One of the new fast-acting anaesthetics." "Yes, I've heard of it." "Thank you, James." "Thank you." " Sorry." "Fine." "Mr Herriot." " Oh, thanks." "Scalpel." "Tissue forceps." "Forceps." "Scalpel." "Suture." "Scissors." "Suture." "Scissors." "That's it, James." "It's up to the old girl now." "What are her chances?" " lt's a bit early to say yet." "The saline drip should help the postoperative shock." "Well, the old girl'll need a few hours to herself so why don't we go out and have a little drink?" "That sounds splendid." " Right." "Thank you." "Thanks, Fred." "Cheers." " Cheers." "So you specialise in small animal work?" "Yes, just cats and dogs." "I rather blaze the trail for that kind of work around these parts." "Same again." " l'll get this." "No, no, you are a guest." "Come on, drink up. lt's on the slate anyway." "A well-trained staff is half the battle, you know." "And having the best possible equipment helps, too." "Cheers." "Ah!" "One for the road, Fred." "You're falling behind, James." "Come on, my boy." "People thought I was batty, specialising in small animals." "Especially in a farming area like this." "It seems to have paid off." " Oh, handsomely." "And I don't mind saying that my approach has set new standards." "It's a far cry from the muck and sweat of our practice." "Each to his own, James." "I've chosen my way and I'm sure you've chosen yours." "Yes." "And I have no regrets." "Let's drink to that." "Cheers." "A bit on the slow side, aren't you, James?" "Well, the old spaniel won't be out of it yet, so, er... why don't we slip down to my house and have a bite to eat?" "Hmm?" "Yes, of course." " Right." "No, you finish your drink first." "Well, take care, Fred." "Let's go, shall we, James?" "Sorry." "Sorry." "It's a five-minute walk." "Just enough to put the edge on the appetite." "How do you do, Mr Farnon?" " Mr Wilkinson." "Good morning." "Aye, I were beginning to think you were shying from t'job, Mr Farnon." "Sorry about the delay." "We're here now so let's have a look at the youngster." "It's inside." " Ah, good." "Youngster?" "Come on." "He's in the loose box." "You might need a bit of a hand with Dancer, Mr Farnon." "I think we can manage a young fellow all right, Mr Wilkinson." "I thought you said he was a youngster." " lt weren't me that said it." "It were you." "That's Dancer, me new blood stallion." "Hello, Dancer." "Well, I'd better check the papilloma." "Tristan, get the ropes and the bag." "Right." " Come on, Dancer." "Don't be silly." "Come on, there's a good fellow." "No one's gonna hurt you." "Come on, boy." "Steady!" "Steady, steady!" "Steady!" "My God, Siegfried, are you all right?" "Fine." "Fine." "Don't fuss!" "My word, I hope you haven't done any damage to Dancer, Mr Farnon." "He cost quite a bit of brass, you know." "He looks in good spirits to me, Mr Wilkinson." "Aye, but how are you gonna get him back?" "You've got a couple of mares, haven't you?" "Aye." "One of them is in season as I recall." " Aye." "Oh, I see." "Here, go and fetch Pixie for Mr Farnon, lad." "By gum, you're a crafty one, Mr Farnon." "A bit cunning an' all." "What was all that about?" "The carrot and the stick, my boy." " Yes but I..." "Patience." "Mark, observe and inwardly digest what you are about to witness." "Make yourself at home." "Zoe's out at the moment so I'll get us some grub." "Thank you, Mr Bennet." "Granville." "There's nothing better after beer than a few pickled onions." "Don't be shy." "Mmm!" "My God, they're good." "If there's one thing my wife knows, it's how to pickle onions." "They're wonderful." "Delicious." "Cheers." "Come on!" "Dig in, dig in!" "Not just now, thanks, Granville." " lt's funny you don't like them." "I always thought Zoe did them marvellously." "Oh, they are marvellous." "I'll just finish my drink first." "Oh...why not?" "Splendid." "Right, I'll get us some grub." "No doubt you've worked up an appetite by now." "A beef sandwich will go down nicely." " Oh, yes." "Perfect." "Come on, James, you're not finishing your drink." "Plenty more where that came from... and for goodness' sake, don't be shy." "Have another onion." " Thank you." "It was a bit of gamble getting the practice started." "The trick was to equip the surgery with the very latest equipment." "The object being the same standards of hygiene you get in a human hospital." "Yes." "Yes, I know what you mean." "Of course, a lot of people didn't approve." "They didn't like the idea of so much money being spent on a surgery that dealt mainly with domestic pets." "Right, wrap yourself round that lot." "Thank you." "You know, James, this is the life." "A few beers, a chat with a colleague and a nice little snack to round it off." "Just the job." "As soon as Zoe comes back, we'll have dinner." "Dinner?" " Mm." "You are staying?" "Well, I am expected back at Darrowby tonight actually." "What?" " l promised." "Ah." "Oh, some other time, then." "Zoe!" "Come on, then." "Come on." "Hello, Feebles." "Aah, Feebles!" "Who loves her daddy, then?" "She's a lovely lady." "Say hello to Mr Herriot." "There." " Hello, Feebles." "Zoe, my love." "How are you?" " Hello, darling." "Now, let me introduce." "This is James Herriot." "How do you do, Mr Herriot?" "Am I allowed to call you James?" "Yes, of course." " Then you must call me Zoe." "Here, darling." "I picked up some of those shirts you like." "Oh, how very sweet." "Thank you." "These are marvellous, James." "Absolutely superb." "Aren't they wonderful?" " Yes, very elegant." "Here, have one." " Granville, I can't." "Of course you can." "You keep it." " lt's a new shirt." "You like it, don't you?" " Of course I do." "Well, I like to share things." "For goodness' sake, have it." "Thank you very much." "Who's for a cup of tea?" " Yes, please." "James?" " That would be very nice." "You two sit down, I shan't be a minute." "Thank you." "Right, let's polish this lot off and then we can start fresh on the tea things." "There we are." "He'll be all right now, Mr Wilkinson." "That wound will heal in no time." "Aye, thank you very much, Mr Farnon." "I don't know anybody, only you, who could stay in the box with Dancer and live to talk about it." "It's all in a day's work." "And a right cunning bit of business it was an' all." "Amazing, Siegfried." "Totally amazing." "Weren't you scared at all?" "Well..." "Well, it was just a question of... finding the right distraction for Dancer." "You certainly did that." "There's nothing like a little filly for taking your mind of a problem, I always find." "Very elegant, James." "Yeah." "A nip here and a tuck there and it'll fit you like a glove." "Yes. I'll get Helen onto it as soon as she comes back." "Good idea." "He's a decent sort is Granville." "Best man I know in small animal surgery." "We're lucky we have him to fall back on." " indeed." "But he had a terrible time getting it started." "Brave thing to do in a farming community." "He seems to have made a great success of it, though." "Of course, this whole business of special treatment for pets can be taken too far." "Oh?" "How?" " There's far too many pets in the world." "That's because people need them, isn't it?" "Where..." "Shut up." "Where does the need end and neurosis begin?" "I mean, the need to possess domestic animals is largely neurotic." "They're just looking for affection, it's not neurotic." "Look at it from a practical point of view." "Think of all those useless mouths consuming all that food." "What about the farm cat, the dog that earns his keep?" "Oh, well, that's a different story altogether, there's a place for them." "I mean our useless four-footed friends." "The whole situation is absurd, especially for the animal, condemned to lead a totally unnatural life, it's only function to pander to the emotional needs of its owner." "Oh." "All right, you panting lot, I'll take you for a walk." "You've got to be objective about it." " Well, it's an interesting theory but being aware of this, we haven't fallen into the trap, have we?" "Trap?" "What trap?" " Useless pets, that kind of thing." "No fear there." "Come on then, you lot." "Come on." "Come along." "Come on." "I've cancelled all but emergency visits for tomorrow." "Oh?" "Well, it's market day." "All hands will be needed for paperwork." "I've asked Dennis Pratt up here to discuss his mastitis and I told Tristan to keep him where he can see other clients paying." "Oh, yes!" " And if that man any conscience, we'll get that brass out of him." "Damned if we don't, James." "Oh, Siegfried?" " Yes." "How did you get on with Wilkinson's colt?" "Oh, that." "Er, no problem." "Why do you ask?" "Oh...just curious." "Come on, boys, come on." "Excuse me." "Excuse me, can I get through?" "Thank you. I want to get into the kitchen." "Thank you." "I've come to settle up, Mr Farnon." " Thank you, Mr Wellerby." "Mr Wellerby's account, please." " Yes, four pounds ten shillings." "Now then, Mr Farnon, steady on there." "You're bit o'er savage with t'pen, aren't you?" "Well, that is what it comes to, Mr Wellerby." "Aye, I know but you said you'd take summat off top on account o' t'bullock dying'." "Oh, yes, I see." "Well...tell you what." "Let's make it just..." "four pounds, shall we?" "Ee, you're as hard as flint, Mr Farnon." "Hard as flint." "Well, now, Mr Farnon." "Dennis!" "How nice of you to come!" "Oh, it's very kind of you to ask me here, Mr Farnon." "I've been meaning to talk to you about old Mable's mastitis for some time." "Excellent." "Come along." " Well, if you're sure you don't mind, you being so busy and all." " Course not." "Sit here and then we'll have a little chat when the crush dies down a bit." "Good." "Good." "Well, business is on the up and up by the looks of things." "Well, you see, it's bill-paying day." "Oh, aye." " Next, please!" "Sorry I was late paying last time, Mr Farnon." "Not at all, Mr Dawson, don't think about it." "Mr Dawson's account." " Yes, there we are." "Aye, vet always comes straightaway, so I think it's only fair that we should pay up on time." "Aye." "That's very kind of you say that, Mr Dawson." "Er..." " Thank you." "Er, there you are." " Thank you very much indeed." "My brother will receipt that for you." "There." "Thank you, Mr Dawson." "Thank you, Mr Farnon." " Goodbye to you." "Nice old boy is Charlie Dawson." " One of the best." "Straight as a die." " Non straighter." "Yes, he's a good fellow Charlie." "Always pays his bills on time." "Oh, yes." " Not like some we know." "Too true, Mr Farnon." "Perhaps you'd care to look at that while you're waiting." "Oh, yes!" "Let's see, what have we here?" "It's your bill." " Oh, yes." "Well...we'd best put this where it's safe." "It can't come to mischief that way, can it?" "Next, please." "Well, he's busy right now." "All right." "Yes, Mrs Butler." "Goodbye." "Excuse me." "There's nothing wrong with them and they haven't had any babies cos they're both gentlemen mice." "Bye." "I won't keep you a moment." "Yes, Mrs Hall?" " Mrs Butler." "One of their calves is bleeding summat bad." "Well, I am rather busy." " She says it can't wait or it might die." "Very well." "Thank you." " Right." "I don't like t'size on it, Mr Farnon, I don't like it at all." "I certainly wouldn't knowingly overcharge you." "You can take Mr Farnon's word on that, Charlie." "Well, I pays me way, not like some folk I knows." "Now, Charlie, don't take on so." "I'll tell you what, Mr Ormonroyd." "We'll forget this five shillings here and make it just two pound 15, what do you say?" "And you can't get fairer than that." "Well, it's hard doings, Mr Farnon, but if that's your last word, well..." "There we are." "Three quid." "There we are." " Right, I'll be off." "Take your receipt, Mr Ormonroyd." "Or we might ask you to pay again." "I'll tell you summat for nowt, you're lucky to get it once." "You'll never bloody well get it twice." "I don't doubt that's true, in his case particularly." "Next, please." "I'm sorry, there's a rather urgent case." "All right, I'll take over surgery." "Thanks." "Erm, Dennis, tell you what." "Why don't we go into the surgery then we can have our chat?" "At your service, Mr Farnon." " Good." "Excellent." "Carry on the good work, Tristan." "Next, please." "My brother will look after you." "Oh, Mr Herriot." " Hello." "Good of you to come." " You did say it was urgent." "One of t'calves has got summat stuck in its mouth and it's bleeding bad." "I'd better have a look at him." " Me man's in t'top field so I'll show you." "What happened to that little kitten?" " Moses?" "He's done well." "Oh, marvellous." "I'll show you something you've never set eyes on before." "Take a look, Mr Herriot." "That's summat new for you, isn't it, eh?" "I put him in Bertha's litter soon after you left and he's never looked back." "It's amazing. it's really amazing." "I'd better have a look at that calf." " Yes. lt's up here at t'end stall." "It's very kind of you to spare the time, Mr Farnon, I can't thank you enough." "Not at all, Dennis." " And you'll be out on Tuesday." "Er..." "As you please, Dennis, I'll tell you what." "Why don't you go inside and settle the details with Tristan?" "There we are." "Tristan!" "Er, Mr Pratt and I - do sit down, Dennis - have had our little chat." " Aye, that we have." "I've got to go out now so I'll leave you to deal with Dennis." "Well?" " Well what?" "Did you get the money?" " That's your job." "But Siegfried..." " My dear boy, just make sure he leaves a cheque before he goes." "All right?" "She's going to be all right, Mrs Barker." "She'll need careful watching." "I can't tell you how grateful I am." "It wasn't really me." "It was done by a colleague." "Well, between you both, you've saved her life." "Oh, she's an old dog I know, but she's all I've got." "Well, she's got a few years ahead of her now." "Haven't you, Dinah?" "Remember, peace and quiet for the next few weeks, careful dieting and she'll soon be up and about." "Thank you very much." "She can't walk at the moment so I'll run you both home." "No, thank you." "We've got to learn to manage for ourselves." "Yes, but..." " Shan't be a minute." "Oh, a pram!" "What a marvellous idea." "Aye. I bought it special for the old girl." "I shan't have to leave her on her own now when I'm doing my bits and pieces." "No." " Come on, then, Dinah." "Here, let me, Mrs Barker." " Oh." "Come on." "There's a good dog." "It's all right." "Up we go." "Mind your sore place." "That's it." "Come on." "In we go." " There we go, then." "There's a good dog." " Aw, there." "I've got to learn to care for her meself, haven't I?" "Yes." "Yes, of course." "Well, good day to you, Mr Herriot." "Good day, Mrs Barker." "Bye-bye, Dinah." "Dinner's ready in five minutes." " Oh, thank you." "And Mrs Herriot phoned." " Oh. I'd better ring her back." "No need." "She said to tell you her aunt's much better." "That's good news." "Said to tell you summat else, too." " Oh?" "She'll be on the 10:30 train to Darrowby tomorrow morning." "Oh, that is fantastic, Mrs Hall." "Fantastic." "Mm, I thought you might like to know." "Good evening." " Evening, James." "What a marvellous day it's been." " Eh?" "Coffers bulging, debts all paid." "I saw Dennis Pratt on his way home looking sorry for himself so I assume he's paid up, too." "Well, hasn't he?" "Siegfried had a private word with him." " About his mastitis." "I've decided to inject every infected quarter with the acriflavine solution." "The new stuff." " lt sounds very good." "Expensive, too." "I expect you got him to pay for it." "Well, didn't you?" " l don't know, Tristan took care of that." "Tristan?" "No." "Nothing." "After all that trouble, you let him go without paying?" "It was your idea..." " We agreed you'd take care of it." "I tried." "Honestly I did." "You had him, completely, and you let him off the hook." "There's something else you should know." "Go on." "I was working him round to the crunch, using a sprat to catch a mackerel kind of thing..." "You mean you gave him something?" "Nothing much, just some fever mixture." "How much?" "Four bottles, actually." " Oh, no." "I know you said never give stuff to people who don't pay so I accept full responsibility for it." "I walked into it with my eyes open so..." "it'll come out of my wages." "No." "No, Tristan." "There's no need for that." "Oh, I can't bear it." "You're not at fault, James, and neither is Tristan." "Dennis Pratt is an irresistible force." "No mere flesh and blood can withstand the man." "I'm relieved you feel that way about it." "Since it's time for confession, I have one of my own." "When I had Dennis in the surgery, the wretched villain conned six tins of stomach powder out of me." "Oh, I don't believe it. lt's incredible." "I was convinced he'd paid up." " Well, he didn't." "All in all, a pretty spineless performance and no blame attaches to you, James." "In fact, I feel quite keenly that we've let you down." "Oh, the cunning devil. lf l had known..." "Known, James?" "I told you, I saw him on his way home so naturally assumed he'd paid, so..." " So?" "If I'd known he hadn't paid, I wouldn't have given him that large jar of pig ointment!" "Oh, never mind, James."