"Is this a carjacking?" " Are you carjacking me?" " I'm the devil." "Before you were born, your mom and I sold your soul to the devil." " You gonna tell Andi?" " I'm not gonna tell Andi!" "If she knows, she'll never go out with me." "You could make her go out with you, Damien." "You're just gonna bring escaped souls back to hell." "That's cool, right?" " How am I supposed to capture 'em?" " This will help... a vessel, hand-crafted in the bowels of perdition by the iniquitous and the vile." " That'll work." " A word of caution..." "I don't accept failure." "You finally found the one thing that you're good at." "You sent an escaped soul back to hell." " Come on, come on." " All right!" "Those are huge on you." " All right, feel that?" " Nope, not a thing." "This is gonna work great." " All right!" "Now run, rabbit." " All right, wait, give me a head start." "Steady..." "Oh, Sock!" " Below the waist!" " What did you say?" "Say..." "let's try again." "Here, here." "This 2 pants thing doesn't work!" "You sure about that?" "Let's try again here." "Sock, you're makin'me mad!" "Wait, wait." "Oh, my god, mom!" " You're back!" " Hi, sweetheart!" "Oh, ribs, sweetie!" "Ribs, ribs." "Oh, sorry." "How was Vegas?" "Mom, did you see me shoot Ben in the butt?" "I did." "Good shootin', Bert." " Very good shot." " Hey, Ms. Wysocki." "Um, mom..." "Who's the, uh, cowboy?" "Um, Bert, there's something I have to tell you." "Uh, this is Morris." "And we have some wonderful news." "Will you stop checking the time?" "Am I that boring?" "No, I told you I have to leave in 10 minutes." "I'm gonna be super late." "And it's definitely not boring." "I'll tell you when 10 minutes is up." "What..." "Hey, what?" "Oh, my gosh, this is beautiful!" "You were gonna give it to me as a present?" "That is so sweet!" "Yeah." "Yeah, you... you like it?" "I love it." "It's perfect." "Put it on." "There you go." "Oh!" "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" " What's up?" " Sock, what are you doing?" "I need you to get rid of this, OK?" "Sock, are you all right?" "My mom came home from Vegas today." "You shot your mom with a BB gun?" "No, Sam, of course not." "I might have shot an Asian cowboy, though." "What?" "Yeah." "And I think I punched him in the eye." "I don't know." "It's all a big blur." " Will you rub my head?" " Yeah." "Thank you." "That feels good." "Sock, what the hell is going on?" "My mom get married." "And now I have nobody, except for you two." "Would somebody get me a six pack?" "It's what my mom would have done." "Oh, hey, you're up." "Sock, why is my alarm clock going off at 4:30 in the morning?" "Yeah, I couldn't sleep, either." "But, um, since we're both awake, do you want to talk?" "Do we have to do this now?" "Can you believe she married a guy named Morris?" "Morris, Sam." "I mean, I don't even think he's a real cowboy." "You know, I mean, how long has she even known this guy, a week?" "Now she's going to shack up with a total stranger." "Yeah, good idea, mom." "She's absolutely going to regret this." "Oh, blue tie." "Definitely better than the red." "Sometimes, if you love somebody enough, you have got to let them hit rock bottom." "Even though I might want to kick Morris' ass to the curb right now," "I'm not gonna do it." "I'm gonna stand strong, and I'm gonna be firm." "Hello?" "You know, my mom and I are a team, and teammates do not go out and get married behind each other's backs." "That's one thing I know." "So I'm gonna take the one thing away from her she loves the most... me." "I'm not gonna move back in until she admits she made a mistake." "I can't do it." "I can't work." "I'm too upset." "Sock, come on, it'll be good for you." "It'll take your mind off of things." "OK, but I need a push." "Sam, I am a wall of misery, all right?" "You're gonna have to do a little better than that." "Let's go." "Sock?" "!" "Oh, my god, Sock, are you OK?" "Hey, did you just fly in here?" "Sam moved me with his mind." "The devil must be screwing with me." "What do you think it means?" "It might have something to do with the soul." "That... was wicked." "Let's do it again." "Ben, help me with the tree." "Sam, get back over there." "Hey, do you know where Sock is?" "I need him to fake a seizure for me." "That is an unusual request." "Yeah, well, Ted saw Sock fall into the Christmas tree." "He's terrified of a workman's comp lawsuit." "Terrified Ted is always a good time." " Sock's in house wares." " Great, thank you." "There's something about the sea air." " You know?" " Yeah." "Maybe it's because all of life came from the sea." "It's primordial." "Clean, fresh." "And almost entirely covers up the stench of that decomposing corpse down there." " Who is that?" " A vagrant, I think." "No one of consequence." "Where's its head?" "Removed, and partially eaten by one Phillip Carmona." "Hell's latest overachiever." " Eaten?" " Yeah." "In life, Carmona was a cannibal." "Had a predilection for eating the brains and the heart." " So the soul ate its heart, too?" " No, I don't think so." "He got scared away." "Look, he always finishes his meals and he always eats at night." "Now you just follow the corpse, you'll find your soul." "Excuse me a moment." "What's up?" "You're gonna be sorry when I'm famous, Rachel." "Rachel, how can you date an accountant?" " Great titles, man." " Thanks." "They're about my ex." "Her name was Rachel." "Really?" "Not a nice girl, I take it." "She left me for following my dream, the dream of rock and roll." "You're probably drinking a lot more than usual." "You gotta numb the pain, bro." "Jerry Belvedere." "AR for popblast records." "Ryan Milner." "My stage name's Ryan." " No last name." " Ryan." "You know, Ryan, I bet you and I can make a deal that'll be extremely beneficial to the both of us." "Mr. Belvedere, can I talk to you for a second?" "What are you doing?" "What does it look like?" "You're setting that guy up so you can buy his soul." "Duh, Sam." "Come on, just leave him alone." "He's pathetic enough as it is!" "Oh, wow, Sammy, maybe you're right." "If I'm hearing you correctly, you're basically calling me a morally bankrupt, evil being." "Yes, more or less." "Then this makes perfect sense." "Hey, uh, I gotta get going." "Wait, wait, wait, is that her?" "Cady?" "Yeah, yeah, she's just..." "We're gonna hang out." "Oh, OK, well, bring her over here." "What's the big deal?" "I mean, we're friends, right?" "So, why can't I meet your girlfriend?" "I mean, unless you're trying to hide her from me." " Why would I do that?" " Too late." " Hi, cutie!" " Hey." " Hi, I'm Cady." " Hi." "Uh, Andi." "I've heard a lot about you." " Yeah, all good things." " Oh, good to hear." "That's a nice necklace." "Oh, thank you." "Sam got it for me." "Yeah, actually, he showed it to me... once." "Andi used to play soccer in high school, like you." " You guys... did that..." " Well, enjoy your lunch." "And your necklace." "She hates me." " No, she doesn't hate you." " Come on, Sam, it's obvious." "Did you guys have a thing?" "Yeah..." "Let's sit down." "All right, this... this is my fault." "All right, the necklace you're wearing was actually one I had originally bought for her." "When?" " Uh, a few weeks ago?" " And then you gave it to me?" "Yeah, but to be fair, I didn't plan on giving it to you." "I..." "I just, I got caught when you found it and I made a rash decision." "I..." "So why did you keep it?" "I..." "I don't have an answer." "That's weird, Sam." " Cady..." " Don't follow me." "Next time I buy a present for a girl..." "I need you to punch me in the junk." "Hard." " That's the only way I punch." " Not now, Sock!" " What's the problem?" " Cady's mad at me," "Andi's all pissed off." "I don't..." "Will you listen to this guy?" "Oh, wah, I have 2 chicks fighting over me!" "What am I gonna do?" "Why am I so loveable?" "Shut up." "Enjoy it, Sam." "Or at least, you know, try and flip it into a three-way." " That's what I'd do." " Hey, this guy Ryan's pretty lame." "This CD is for all the dreamers who dream of the rock and roll dream, so dream on." "I gotta..." "I gotta side with the devil on this one." " Some people just belong in hell." " No, I feel bad for him." "The devil's gonna sucker him into a deal and he'll be just as screwed as I am." "What can you do?" "I mean, if the guy wants to sell his soul to the devil," " it's not your problem." " But I could at least warn him." "If somebody had stepped in before my parents sold my soul..." "Whatever." "Devil says something about the soul eating after dark." " Don't we have to get to the morgue?" " No, we have time." "We can stop" " at the marina along the way." " Then can we swing by my mom's house, too?" "I kinda want to egg her bedroom window." "Well, this is where he was." "Maybe he's playing in another spot." "Yeah, but know where?" "I mean, we can't look on every corner..." "I think I know where he might be." "Looks like the devil got to him first." "Pike Arena?" "That's huge." "Damn it." "Devil said follow the body." "Carmona only feeds at night." "Pretty good, right?" " Look it." " Jose Miller." "Not bad, yeah." "How'd you get Josie to give you her ID badge?" "It's part of some memory trinkets I stole from her." "She took so much and gave back so little." "So Jose Miller it is." "Well, as long as that thing gets us into the morgue," " where the body is, who cares?" " It's almost 6:00." "We need to be ready when the soul comes back to feed." "Let's see what we're saddled with this time." "Nice." "A spear gun." "Very James Bond." "You say this job isn't cool." "Evening, lieu-tective." "Just gotta get these experts in for a dental match on a certain Jonathan Deere." "All right?" "So he always finishes his meal?" "Yeah, we gotta find the headless body." "Which one do you think it is?" "It's gonna be this one." "Yeah, well, Carmona didn't come back for seconds." "Excuse me." "What are you doing here?" "Oh, uh, we're from, uh, downtown." "Downtown branch, and we're actually taking over the case." "It's a jurisdictional thing." " Juris... jurisdictional." " What case are you talking about?" "Actually, that is a need to know." "We wish we could do something about it, but we can't." "It's just... whoa." "This ID is expired." "And the picture is pasted on." "What..." " Get out of here." " OK, but could I possibly have the ID back?" " I'm calling the police." " No, I... keep it!" "I thought you said that jurisdiction thing always works." "Why do you always have to point out my flaws, Ben?" "So what do we do now?" "We'll just stop the soul before he ever gets to the body." "There's only 2 ways in." "Let's seal up the doors so we know which way Carmona's coming." "OK, good one." "All right, come on, Carmona." "Whoa, sorry." "Oh!" "It's my mom." "Hurts, doesn't it?" "All right, be cool." "All right, be cool." "You guys, look." "Look, it's him, it's the soul." "It's him." "Go, go, go!" "On three!" "1, 2, 3!" "Where is he?" "Where is he?" "Oh, damn it!" "It's locked, it's locked." "Go, go, go." "Boy, you spook easily." "Huh." " It's just rubber." " So it was you, right?" "Use your words, Sammy." "What was me?" "This." " You got Ryan a concert." " Oh, wow, this came out pretty sharp." "Yeah." "The umlaut was my idea." " You made him sell you his soul?" " Not yet, but I will." "It's a classic "first taste is free" gambit." "Ryan gets his gig, tastes a little fame, and then while he's on that endorphin high," "I slap that contract right in front of him." " Never fails." " That really works?" "We're talkin'about rock and roll, man." "The devil's music." "Comin'down the crossroads." "Sell your soul for rock and roll, baby." "It's not funny." "He's gonna spend eternity in hell!" "Oh, you're right, you're right." "It's never a laughing matter, Sammy." "But, hey, let's talk about you." "What's up with that cannibal of yours?" "Why haven't you caught him?" " I don't know where he is." " Talk to the mother." " Carmona has a mom?" " Yep." "And you know moms." " They love talkin'about their kids." " Even when the kid's a people eater?" "Well, it's just more to talk about." "Hi, Mrs. Carmona." "We were wondering if we could talk to you about your son." "Wait, wait, wait, you don't understand!" "Why don't you vultures leave me alone!" "But we're not vultures, Mrs. Carmona." "My son didn't do any of the things they said." " He was a good boy." " Oh, I'm sure he was." "He was our favorite camp counselor." "You knew him at Camp Soaring Arrow?" "Yes, we did know him at Camp Soaring Arrow." "The memories are flooding in." "You know, toasting marshmallows and panty raids and learning how to use your..." " Archery." " Bow and arrow." "You like my son?" "Yeah, we thought your son was great." " Would you boys like some pie?" " Sure." "Here's the picture of Phillip in the school play one Thanksgiving." "He's so cute." " He's the kid dressed in brown?" " Oh, yes." "He played gravy." "Oh, here he is in the pee wee football." "And this is Phillip in his high school graduation." "Such a sweet boy." " You and your son were close, huh?" " He was my best friend." "That's nice." "That's how it's supposed to be." "Yeah, it's true." "Yep, you're right." "So what was Phillip like away from camp?" "Where did he like to go?" "Was there any special place he liked to hang out?" " Or hide out, maybe." " Well, not really." "Mostly he liked to hang out with me." "Sometimes right after the sun goes down, I imagine I see him, out there at the end of the driveway, or over in the backyard." "The other night," "I could have sworn I saw him sitting on the swing." "It seemed so real." "Bye bye, Mrs. C. Have a good day." "All right." "He just comes here to hang out with his mom." "Well, can you blame the guy?" "I mean, that... that, my friends, is a real mom." "A beautiful, selfless, kind-hearted woman who built her entire life around her son." "Even though he was a crazy-assed convicted cannibal." "Gets me, right here." "Right... right here." "Is it... where's your heart?" "On the left?" "OK, Ryan, sound check on mic." " Tommy, how was that?" " Great, Ryan, let's take five." "All right." "Thank you, gorgeous." " Hey, from the record company, right?" " You're friends with Jerry?" "Yeah, yeah, that... that's me." " How ya doin'?" " Awesome." "Listen, Ryan, did you sign any contract or make any promises..." "I can't believe it." "Tomorrow night, every seat's gonna be filled." "Ryan!" "Did you sign anything?" "What... no, man." "I didn't get any paperwork yet." "But don't worry." "When I do, I'll sign it." "No questions." "No, no, I'm trying to tell you to not sign a contract with... with the record company." "Just walk away." " Dude, what are you talkin'about?" " This isn't what you think it is." "Did Jerry mention anything about what you might sacrifice for this deal?" "But I'll do anything." "Jerry is the devil, and he's trying to get you to sell your soul, OK?" "Get out of here, man, are you crazy?" "Think about it!" "How did you sell out this entire arena when nobody's even heard you before?" "Maybe..." " they like my songs." " How did they even hear your songs?" "I mean, come on, doesn't it bother you that this all happened so easily?" "He's the devil, and if you go through with this, you're gonna spend eternity in hell when you die." " Who cares?" " Who car... are you insane?" "Hey, look." "Yesterday, I was nothing." "My wife left me." "My friends thought I was a failure." "But today, I'm a rock star, man." "You got it?" "I'm a rock star!" "They were wrong." "They were all wrong." "I'll worry about my soul when I'm dead." "What do you want?" "I just wanted to see if this car had heated seats." "I always wanted to try heated seats." " Please get out of my car." " Fine, fine." "After the way you helped me out with Ryan, I owe you one, buddy." "How did I help you out?" "Well, you remember when I told you that that first time is for free gambit never fails?" "White lie." "Usually the sticking point is when I reveal that I'm the devil." "You know, that freaks some people out." "But this time I mixed it up a little bit." "See, I had you deliver the news." "You're utterly unthreatening." "When you say "devil", it sounds sorta cute." "So now that he's over the initial shock, I can step in and close the deal." "I just wanted to tell you that I appreciate it." "Just thanks again, buddy." "Hey, Josie." "You are coming with me." "Why were you at the coroner's office?" "I got a call from my grandmother." "She thought my uncle Hector was hit by a car." "Turns out, he's OK, the whole thing was a false alarm." "Write it down." "You guys just happened to go to the morgue the same night my old ID badge shows up." "Inexplicable, but true." "Why would I want to use your ID, Josie?" "I look nothing like you." "Where were you when you heard about your uncle?" "I was at Sock's house playing nintendo." " You sure about that?" " Positive." "Nintendo at Sock's." "Ben was racking up points." "He almost didn't take the call about uncle Hector." "And you didn't use my ID to get into the morgue?" "Why would I use your ID?" "I look nothing like you." "I... sorry, I..." "Uncle Hector, Nintendo, I look nothing like you." " Booya." " "Booya."" "What does that mean?" "That means you're not gonna fool us with any of your lawyer mumbo jumbo legalese." "What would I want to trick you about?" "What is it that you're so excited to be throwin'in my face?" "The truth." "I get very excited about confirming the truth." "It sets me free." "The truth that you three tell in exactly the same words," " exactly the same way." " Yep." "Why?" "I'll find out what you're up to." "Then I'll show you "Boo-yah."" "Oh, do it." "I dare ya, show me your booya!" " Hey, I wasn't sure you'd come." " Yeah, me, either." " Thanks for the flowers." " Yeah, of course." "I don't know what to say to you, Sam." "You don't have to say anything." "I'm a jerk." "You saw that necklace and I freaked out." "I'm sorry." "I should have just told you the truth." "It wasn't about the necklace, Sam." "What do you mean?" "Look, I can get over the fact that you bought a present for another girl." "It's just..." "I don't know that you can get over it." "Yeah, I can." "It just seems to me like maybe you still have feelings for Andi." "And if you do, just tell me." "Yeah, I'm gonna be sad, but" "I'm not a consolation prize." "Cady..." "I don't think that about you, all right?" "I'm with you." "Not her, OK?" " OK." " OK?" "Oh, come on, man." "Just answer the phone." "It's like 6 times she's called already." "Seven." "Just talk to your mom!" "What if she's trying to apologize?" "She's not calling to apologize, Sam." "All right, she's calling to get me to accept her dumb decision about Morris." "And I don't accept him." "I reject him." "Right, until she rejects him, too," " we got nothin'to talk about." " What if she never rejects him?" "I mean, have you thought about that?" "I mean, you might not have a choice here." "I do have a choice, Ben." "I have a very good choice." " Sock, what are you doing?" " Starving, Sam." "I'm gonna go in there, I'm gonna talk to Mrs. Carmona." "Sweet little Mrs. Carmona, see if she has any more pie." "What about the soul?" "The soul's supposed to show up any minute now." "Hello?" "Mrs. Carmona." "Hi, it's Sock." "Remember me?" "I was just, uh, driving by, and I thought I smelled some of that delicious pi..." "Pie?" "Oh, no." "Mrs. C?" "You... sicko, sociopathic, bastard." " How could you?" " I was hungry." "All she had was pie." "She loved you... through everything." "She supported you completely!" "And you killed her because you didn't want to eat delicious pie?" "!" "Come here!" "No, no!" "You could have eaten anyone!" "She was loving, and sweet, and you chewed her up like she was nothing!" "Nothing!" "I'll go get a table." " I'm sorry." " I'm sorry." "Listen, I should never have given anyone that necklace." "That was a mistake." "No, listen, I'm the one that should be apologizing, OK?" "I was a jerk." "I deliberately provoked that fight, OK?" "I should have just... kept my cool." "Good." "We both can admit we're awful people." "I don't think I'm awful." "What was that?" "Nothing." "We just... cleared up the whole necklace incident." "We're all going to be friends, yay." "Do you want to be friends?" "'Cause that's not what it sounds like." "You know what, you need to let that go." "He's seeing somebody else." "I'm not getting in the middle of that." "I wouldn't let you get in the middle of it, Andi." "That just serves as further proof that we can't trust a word out of Sam Oliver's mouth." "Liars." "All three of 'em." "You're just mad 'cause they outsmarted you." "They did not outsmart me." "And I'm not mad." " I'm furious." " Yeah." " Would you look at this?" " Promotional coasters." "The devil's really doin'it up." "OK, guys, can we get a toast here?" "To Mrs. Carmona." "Loving mother who deserved much better than being eaten." "You're right." "You're right." "I gotta say, cannibal soul, scariest soul we've ever captured." "Hands down." " Oh, really?" " Yes." "Cannibal soul vs. fire soul, fire soul wins every time." "Well, maybe from a distance, yeah." "But, you know, get them in a cage match, cannibal soul gets in close, face is gone." "OK, cage match." "Cannibal soul vs. crazy dog monster soul." "That's interesting, man." "I like that." "And cannibal soul wouldn't eat the dog, 'cause it's a dog, obviously," " and it's not a man, so..." " But, I don't know, Benji." "If I got hungry enough, I would definitely eat a dog." "Would you eat a man?" "It depends on what man we're talking about." "I mean, if we're talking about George Clooney, then, yeah." "Because he's gorgeous and I hate him." "So that proves my point right there." "Scariest soul of all time," " cannibal soul." " Yeah, I agree." "How bad do you think he'd scare this guy?" " Doh, Sam!" " Sorry." " That hurts." " Sorry." "Come on, come on, come on." "OK, OK, OK." "Safety meeting first." "Sam, make sure you release the soul from the vessel." " Sock brings Ryan down here." " Bet your ass I will." "I'm gonna dangle this bacon." "I'm gonna make sure that guy turns into a crazy eating thing." "Rock star poops his pants out of fear, refuses to sign his soul over to the devil, we all go home happy." "All right, bring it." "Yo, Ry-on." "Is that how you say it?" "Ry-on?" " Rian." " Rian, all right." "Hey, listen, Ryan," "I came to the show tonight with 10 very open-minded young ladies who are just dying to meet a real star." "You." " Well, let's go!" " All right." "There's a star right here!" "Just under here." "Hey, Ryan." "Where are... all the open-minded ladies?" "We're about to show you what's going to happen if you sign your soul away to the devil." "You see him?" "He's actually an escaped soul from hell, and in a second, he's going to turn into a monster." "You guys are nuts." " No, whoa, whoa." " Come on, let me out." "Listen to me." "You sign that contract, you're gonna spend the rest of eternity with monsters like this." " Why isn't he eating the bacon?" " We should have cooked it." "Benji, get it right in his face." "You're making us look bad." "That's Canadian back bacon!" "Don't be a jerk!" "These people kidnapped me." "You need to call the police." " Shut up, and eat the bacon!" " Hey, hold on, relax." " Everybody just relax, all right?" "Move out of the way." " You don't scare me." "Performing in front of thousands of people tonight, now that's scary." "By the way, did you catch the show?" "I thought it went really good." " I need you to move." " Fellas, listen." "Tonight, the audience and I were like one." "We connected." "Just like I'm gonna connect with you, because my music has a simple message..." "Oh, sweet muscular Mary!" "Oh, my god, my hand!" " My hands!" " Sock, call 9-1-1!" "I'm gonna go after it!" " No, don't..." "Sammy!" " My hand!" "Well, that worked." "Hi." "Brought you flowers, 'cause..." "Didn't know what else to get you." "Hey, they put it back on, that's great." "Yeah, great." " You... in pain?" " I can't feel my hand, bro." "In here, wreckage." "Listen, Ryan, I want to apologize." "Things got way, way out of hand back there." "And I..." "Dude, what are you talkin'about?" " Your hand." " I was in shock." "I don't remember what happened to my hand." "I don't remember anything after the second encore." "Doc says a bear probably chomped it." "Listen, Ryan..." "About the contract..." "Dude, I can't even get Jerry on the phone." "I killed at that concert last night, and today, nothin'." "Like I don't even exist." "You're right, man." "He is the devil." "Now I got nothin'." "Rachel!" " Are you OK?" " What are you doin'here?" "I called her." "You came back?" "You forgive me?" "Actually, I just wanted to make sure you weren't gonna die or anything." "So..." "OK." "No, wait!" "I'm out of the life, baby." "I can't rock out no more." "I don't need crowds of adoring fans anymore, Rachel." "I just need you." "Concert of one." "I just don't know if I can believe you, Ryan." "You've told me a thousand times you were gonna give up rock and roll for me." "Yeah, but now I have no feelings in 4 out of my 5 fingers." " Really?" " Yeah." " Really numb?" " Bear chomp." " Mum." " Bert." " Morris." " Howdy." "I'm just gonna get this all out, OK?" "Cards on the table." "I may... have reacted poorly... before." "I thought that you were being impulsive by getting married, and I wanted you to see that you were making a mistake." "OK, but now I can see that maybe that is something you need to be happy." "So I am willing to accept Morris into this family... and forgive you" "for marrying him without my blessing." " OK?" " Thank you, bert." "Great." "All right, let me go unpack my schnibs." "Oh, Bert, you can't unpack." "No, I have to." "I have a ton of laundry for you to do." "No, Bert..." "Only Morris and I are going to live here now." " What?" " Bert," " you're a man now." " Yes." "You're 25." "You need to leave the nest." "No, mom, that is not you talking right now." "That is him, all right?" "You are not my dad, guy!" "This isn't Morris talking." "Now, this time apart has made me realize that we'd both be happier if there was some distance between us." "It's hard, but I know it's what's best for us." "It's what's best for you." "You listen to me." "I am going to go into my room and give you a few minutes to cool off." "When I return, you'll have come back to your crazy senses." "You turned my room into a pottery studio?" " Hi." " Hi." " Oh, um, sorry." " No, no, no problem." "OK." "Thank you." "Uh, Sam said you wanted to talk to me." "Yeah, listen," "I just feel like you and I got off on the wrong foot, and, I don't know, I kinda feel like I'm getting this... vibe, I guess from you, like, who is this chick hanging out with my friend Sam?" "I don't blame you, 'cause... 'cause you don't know me." "Right..." "So let me tell you this story." "When I was in high school," "I had this boyfriend, and we were madly in love." "And then he suddenly dumped me for this other girl." "Totally broke my heart." "So I..." "Well, I didn't take it very well." "Yeah, I got this giant knife and I went to this girl's house and was gonna find her, but she wasn't there, so I just slashed her tires." "But I've been through therapy, and I have found a way to control my emotions, pretty much." "So anyway, hope that lets you know a little bit more about me." "And one of these days," "I'd really like to hear one of your stories." "There you go." "Hey, big shot." "Hey." "That's you," "Mr. Big shot." "Feelin'pretty good about yourself, huh?" " You really put one over on me." " I don't know what you're talking about." "Oh, Ryan's soul." "I had it all lined up." "Primed to take it, then you stole it right out from under me." "You beat me to the punch." "I underestimated you, Sammy." "Big time." "You're quite the sly fox." "Oh, come on." "I know you want to gloat about it right now." "Admit it." "I won't be mad." "Yeah, it feels pretty good." "Send an evil soul to hell, save a good soul from being damned, I like it." "Yeah, there you go, see?" "Plus, you got the best of me." "Now, don't tell me that doesn't give you a rush." "Yeah, it does." "I guess you can't win 'em all." "Oh, yeah." "I guess not." "You said you wouldn't be mad!" "No, this isn't me mad, Sam." "This is me disappointed." "You should see me when I'm mad." "It's really something." "Thanks to Raceman for the transcript"