"♪ I'm feeling of this change That I'm on to something new" "♪ There's something in the air" "♪ Something that could break our tune" "♪ A spark of light is visible from where I stand" "♪ I can see it getting bright" "♪ The time is getting close at hand" "♪ Pulled me to jump off to the path that leads me to the place" "♪ I'm looking out for better days ♪" "I never understood why I should care about creatures that lived 60 million years ago, had brains the size of Pez, and happily crushed the smaller and weaker of their species simply because, well, they could." "Until the day I realized that I was the weaker of the species." "Put me down!" "And, for me, it seemed there was no escape." "It's terrible, but true." "Right here at Cedar Valley Junior High, a predator stalked the halls." "A beast more horrible and cruel and smelly than any creature we ever learned about in Mr. Green's class." "Bubba Bixby was the T. rex of my world." "And I, Nolan Byrd, was his lunch." "For someone who paid zero attention in school," "Bubba Bixby actually taught me a lot." "There's the noogie, purple nurples," "the fish hook, goober yo-yo, the donkey dance, the finger snap sap, and the never-gets-old classic, the atomic wedgie." "Where did this guy come from?" "Did he crawl out of the primordial ooze?" "Or was the theory of nature versus nurture to blame?" "After all, Bubba's father, the Sewage King of Cedar Valley, taught Bubba everything he knew." "And none of it was good." "Searching for a solution to my endless Bubba nightmare, my parents forced me to meet with the school principal, Dr. Voss." "This little tiff between yourself and young Mr. Bixby is just a good life lesson, Nolan." "The world is full of rambunctious people like Bubba." "And..." "Well, learning to deal with it is all part of growing up." "You should be thanking him." "Thanking him?" "Yes." "Okay." "Yeah, that helped." "My ex-best and only friend, Max, ditched me for Bubba to protect his own butt." "I guess he felt being Bubba's right hand was better than being under his left foot." "Whoo!" "Those of us who didn't join forces with the enemy were given nicknames." "I'm Weird-Eyed Wally." "Teeny the Weenie." "Art the Fart." "Dirt Wad Todd." "Man-Hands Miriam." "And, of course, I was no exception." "Byrd Turd." "Byrd Turd." "Byrd Turd." "Byrd Turd." "Here's Byrd Turd." "Byrd Turd." "Something had to change." "Was this how it was gonna be forever?" "Here, ducky." "Byrd Turd." "I hope not." "Thankfully, there was still one place on Earth where I could forget about Bubba." "Emerald Pond was the only place" "I could perfect the so-far impossible task of piloting three remote vehicles at once." "That's right." "I said three." "History will have to be made another day." "Okay, truth." "This isn't the only reason I love hanging at the pond." "I first saw Isabel here when I was in kindergarten." "Hi, my name is Isabel." "I made my own kite." "Isabel was the kind of girl who could smile after eating a fudge brownie and still look perfect." "And through all we had in common, our mutual love of the pond, and the aerodynamics of flying, our relationship had blossomed into nothing." "Oh!" "Oh!" "Oh, just great." "Man!" "Oh, your kite got..." "Uh, the..." "Do you..." "Do you need, uh..." "Okay, so you wanna help?" "Thank you." "Oh..." "Yeah." "Thank you." "Too high..." "Can't reach..." "There were robin eggs in the nest and I didn't wanna scramble eggs." "Well, thanks." "I guess." "Nolan Byrd, you are so weird." "I could've been a hero." "Could." "Have." "Been." "Sure, you're a great hero, Gecko." "But maybe it's time to surrender." "Surrender?" "The word has no meaning to me." "Until now." "Give up?" "Never." "Together, Sticky, we will defeat the epicenter of injustice and save the universe." "Together, we ride." "Hey, kiddo, beautiful day." "Why aren't you out playing hoops, or handball, or catching something?" "Bubonic plague would be nice." "Well, why don't you fly your planes over at the pond?" "Hey, how's that three-remote challenge coming along?" "A little slow since my planes blew up." "Well, why don't you hang out with Max?" "He's embraced the dark side." "And just think, you and Max were going to get married when you were five." "You know, I still have the tape." "Nolan's my best friend, and I love him." "We're gonna get married." "Yeah." "We're gonna get married." "For the record, he proposed." "Not me." "Bubba's on your back again." "I don't want to talk about it." "No..." "On your back, there." "What?" "Why?" "How does he do that?" "Maybe it's time for another sit-down with Principal Voss." "Oh, please." "I taught Sheila Voss." "She makes as much sense as horns on a poodle." "Bullies versus nerds has been an ongoing struggle since cave nerds invented fire, and cave bullies thanked them by burning their butts with it." "Don't let Bubba get under your skin, Nolan." "Not quite sure that whole cave nerd comparison was the morale booster you intended there, Dad." "Oh, your dad's not saying you're a nerd." "He just means that all of us go through these awkward stages." "And well..." "You know, back in the day, your father was perceived as some kind of a nerd and..." "Look at him now." "Semicolon." "Sweet jet pen you got there, Byrd Turd." "Think I'm gonna have to get me one of these." "That's mine." "All right, guys, if you could stop text messaging each other under your desks, we can get our day started." "Thank you." "Whatever happened to passing notes?" "Anybody remember?" "Paper, pen?" "No?" "Okay, great." "All right, well, as you all know, today is the first Monday of the month, and that means..." "♪ Project assignment day ♪" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Sweet." "You're my boy, Dirt Wad." "I expect a B." "Hey, you should shred on this one." "You get to use your computer, so have a good time with it." "Cool, Mr. Green." "Okay, everybody, this month I want you guys to do a multimedia report on an issue that is important to you." "Anything goes this month, okay?" "You can use the Internet." "You can use your computer, digital camera," "Ouija board, two cans and a string." "Whatever you want." "Just take advantage of the technology." "All right, everybody, now close your eyes." "And think about what gets you going." "It could be a person or an issue." "The most important part is, pick a topic that you feel passionate about." "I want you to reach inside and find that thing that you care deeply about." "Nolan..." "Or even that injustice that you want to change." "Find your inner voice, the one that is screaming out," "and maybe you can make a change." "Make a change." "That's it." "It's time for Nolan Byrd to strike back." "♪ It ain't no joke I'd like to buy the world a... ♪ And teach the world to sing in perfect harmony" "♪ And teach the world to snuff..." "If I can't take Bubba on face-to-face," "I'll do it the only way I know how." "♪ This is a love attack" "♪ I know it went out but it's back" "♪ It's just like any fad it retracts before impact" "I want the whole world to see him in action, and spying on him will be the fastest, simplest and, to be honest, safest way to do it." "♪ Buy it just to stay in the clique" "♪ So don't delay act now supplies are running out" "♪ Allow if you're still alive" "♪ Six to eight years to arrive" "♪ And if you follow there may be a tomorrow" "♪ But if the offer is shun You might as well be walkin' on the sun" "♪ Twenty-five years ago" "♪ They spoke out and they broke out" "♪ Of recession and oppression and together they... ♪ And they folked out with guitars around a bonfire" "♪ Just singin' and clappin' man... ♪ Then some were spellbound..." "Mr. Green wants us to expose injustice." "It's time to expose everyone to the epicenter of injustice and save the universe." "♪ Because fashion is smashin' the true meaning of it" "♪ So don't delay act now supplies are running out" "♪ Allow if you're still alive six to eight years to arrive" "♪ And if you follow there may be a tomorrow" "♪ But if the offer is shun You might as well be walkin' on the sun" "Nolan, what're you doing?" "Nothing." "What do you mean, "nothing"?" "Oh, no." "I didn't." "The absolute worst answer you can give a parent is "nothing."" "Nolan, what are you doing?" "Adjusting the electrodes in Diego's head so that he can speak German." "Okay, honey." "Have fun." "Okay, Diego, it's time for our moment of truth." "♪ It ain't no joke When a mama's handkerchief is soaked" "♪ With her tears because her baby's life has been revoked" "♪ The bond is broke up so choke up and focus on the close-up" "♪ Mr. Wizard can't perform no godlike hocus-pocus ♪" "Uh..." "Mr. Green, can I get something out of the back?" "I..." "Yeah, go for it." "Did I get it?" "Please say I got it." "Ew!" "I'll never eat ham again." "What you looking at?" "Oh, I was just..." "Learning about my new backpack and how, when you pull the zipper, it opens." "Way cool, right?" "I'll just stick it..." "Dr. Simon says we have the exact same food allergies." "Well, it's a good thing we're not having kids." "He said that won't be a problem." "Oh?" "You smell good." "It's tuna fish." "Yum." "Nolan." "Miriam." "Would you guys like to join us?" "Wait." "Excuse me." "All right, I have the results of last week's test and, you know, if some of you guys could study a little bit harder, it would be great." "That's yours." "By the way, FYI, the first person to circumnavigate the globe was not Santa Claus." "Oh, right." "Do you have gum in your mouth?" "No." "And some people belong in high school." "Yeah." "I do shred." "Yes." "Nolan Byrd, you've done it again." "Hey, just think, you did it without Mommy to help you." "You're not just a nerd." "You're, like, a pervert, too." "He's a..." "He's like a..." "Like a nerd-vert." "Yeah, that's what you are." "You nerd-vert." "It's funny, the way you mixed "nerd" and "vert"" "like peanut butter and chocolate." "Well, I gotta go." "Wait a minute there, Byrd Turd." "Looks a lot like my backpack." "What do you think, Max?" "Yeah, what do you think, Max?" "Um..." "Yeah, yeah." "Sort of." "No, it's mine." "I got the receipt and everything, so bye." "Well, it sure does look like mine." "How's about that?" "Oh." "I see what's different." "It doesn't have the..." "The purple nurples." "Hey, don't say I never gave you anything." "Move it, maxi pad." "Nolito?" "One sec." "Hey, Mom just told me that you're pretty excited about your social studies project." "You know, with my fairly impressive newspaper contacts," "I could really help you out." "It's okay, Dad." "I'm fine." "Well, Nole..." "A fish on my tail." "Nole, come here, sit down." "Hey, Nolan, I want to be an involved father and be a part of your world." "And that means sharing." "I want us to share everything." "No secrets, okay?" "Okay." "Got it." "But the truth is, Mr. Green wants us to do this one by ourselves." "Well, that makes sense." "After all, it's your name that's going on it." "Exactly." "My name's going on it." "Mmm-hmm." "All over it." "Yeah." "Well, I just thought I'd throw that out there." "If you need ol' Dad, I'm here for you." "Hey, I love you, buddy." "Me, too." "If you need me..." "Okay, okay, no need to panic." "We just need another name." "Something that says Nolan Byrd, then actually doesn't." "Something cool." "An alias." "Okay, think." "Messy Man." "What else?" "Spare Parts Person." "That's pretty lame." "The goal is to shred Bubba totally undetected." "Yeah." "That's it." "I'll be the Shredder." "No, that sounds like a slasher guy who hangs up photos of people with their eyes cut out." "Wait a minute." "I'll be..." "Shredderman." "Grandma, I need to ask you a favor." "I've been doing this project for school, and well, it's for Mom and Dad, and I really don't want them to find out about it." "Like a surprise." "Uh-huh." "So I was wondering, if I paid you back, could I use your credit card to get what I need online?" "Is it a secure site?" "Yeah." "Totally." "Well, all righty, Nolan." "As long as it's safe." "I do like safe." "Bubba." "His name is Bubba." "Here's his brains." "Hubba hubba." "Let's watch Bubba." "So much to love-a." "Just watch him shove-a." "Break it down." "♪ Bubba, his name is Bubba" "♪ Bubba's busted Shredderman rules" "♪ Here's his brains Hubba hubba" "♪ Bubba's busted Shredderman rules" "♪ Let's watch Bubba So much to love-a" "♪ Bubba's busted Shredderman rules" "♪ His name is Bubba Just watch him shove-a" "♪ Bubba's busted Shredderman rules" "♪ Break it down" "♪ Bubba's busted Shredderman rules" "♪ Break it down ♪" "Now, how do I get people to see it?" "This is the Sewage King reminding you that a royal flush always beats a full house." "Bixby's Royal Flush." "Call for a free estimate." "Yeah, advertising can work for anyone." "But how?" "And now back to Gecko and Sticky." "The only way we are gonna save the universe is to climb to the top of this building and let the wind spread the antidote to all the citizens of this fair city." "But, Gecko, that's a huge undertaking." "If you're going to be a superhero, Sticky, then you have to do superhero things." "He is so right." "I know what I have to do." "That's all I got, man." "Yo, Byrd Turd." "What did your mommy make me for lunch?" "Brussels sprouts." "And onion pie." "Oh, and some radishes." "Gross." "Next time, tell her to make me something a little bit more refreshing." "Maybe some springtime mangoes." "Cup and a half of grapes with some cottage cheese." "Large curd." "Nolan." "Oh, no." "I saved you a place." "Thanks Miriam, but I forgot to do something." "So..." "I can do this." "I'm not afraid of heights." "I'm so afraid of heights." "But I can't give up." "I'm..." "I'm..." "Never been so happy to see a janitor in my life." "No nausea." "Good sign." "Whoa!" "...that you multiply by a whole number." "For example, take the digits zero, four and one." "If you multiply..." "I'm not scared." "I can do this." "I'm not scared." ""Is Bubba Bixby causing you grief?"" "Come on, let's check it out." "Yeah." "Yo." "You see this, turdo?" "Actually, Todd, it's Nolan." "Just wanted to see if you wanted to check out this Bubba stuff with me." "Nolan." "Yeah." "What is going on here?" "What is this all about?" "♪ Bubba's busted Shredderman rules ♪" "This really is a cool site." "Yeah, it's got over 600 ways to get back at Bubba." "How'd you know that?" "♪ Bubba's busted Shredderman rules ♪" "Lucky guess." "♪ Bubba's busted Shredderman rules ♪" "Gentlemen, the website you are currently visiting is not on Dr. Voss' approved list." "Kindly exit the website immediately and proceed to your next scheduled class." "Dude, Dr. Voss doesn't approve." "If the man is trying to stop us from looking at it, it must be good." "♪ Bubba's busted Shredderman rules ♪" "I want everyone back in the classroom immediately." "Go, go, go." "Out!" "Go, go!" "This is hysterical." "Whoever made this site is a genius." "Can you print it out?" "Print it out." "Yeah." "♪ Bubba, his name is Bubba" "♪ Bubba's busted Shredderman rules ♪" "There will be no more Internet or cell phone use in this school for the remainder of the day." "Man." "Dude, that's whack." "It's a conspiracy." "It's all right, guys." "Come on, let's get back to work on our projects." "It'll be fun." "Hey, Bubba." "Who do you think did that website?" "What, do you think I can read minds?" "Like I got PMS or something?" "How am I supposed to know who made up the website?" "But when I find out..." "All right, guys, look, I was thinking before lunch I would do a..." "Mr. Green, may I speak with you please?" "Sure." "Excuse me." "Dr. Voss." "I hope Shredderman doesn't get busted." "He's so cool." "Don't you think?" "Nice." "Yeah, cary vool." "Now." "Okay." "Dr. Voss would like to have a word with you, Mr. Bixby." "Word about what?" "I didn't even do nothing." "Bubba's busted." "Shredderman rules." "Shredderman rules." "Bubba's busted." "He really does rule." "I can't believe it." "Bubba's finally been busted." "Oh, I can't wait to see what Shredderman's gonna do next." "Turns out Bubba wasn't the only one doing bad things." "And my camera caught them all." "Mr. Brown you get a..." "B. Lucky you." "Keep moving, maggots." "Any of you puke or die and I'm adding 10 more laps." "I'm glad I got my degree in PE." "Miss Saltzer, you get a..." "Oh, a D." "Not good, Miss Saltzer." "Not good at all." "All right." "Dear Shredderman," "I already loved the website when you used it to bring Bubba down, but now, by exposing all the injustices in this school, you're making life better for everyone." "You're my hero." ""Keep up the good work."" "This is too good." "Dear Isabel..." "Bubba?" "I know who you are, Chicken Little." "And you'll be sorry you were ever even hatched." "No." "No way he knows it's me." "He couldn't." "Could he?" "I have a firewall." "No, he's gotta be faking it." "He has to be." "No." "I'm not falling for it." "Well, this Chicken Little is dropping the sky on your head, loser." "Take that, sucker." "Nole, everything okay up there?" "Yeah." "Just doing some homework." "It's actually kind of fun." "Homework, fun?" "You want me to come up there and..." "No." "No, thanks." "Fun's over." "Back to the grind." "Thanks, Dad." "Gotta hit the books." "What?" "No." "Where's my jet pen?" "I definitely put it in here before the bell." "All right, that's it." "There's no way you're getting away with this, this time." "Prepare to be shredded." "Hey, Nole, it's awfully quiet up there, what you doing?" "Noth..." "I'm splitting atoms with Mom's hairdryer." "Okay, buddy, keep it up." "Just hand over the jet pen and no one gets hurt." "Hand over the jet pen or I'll turn mashed potatoes into your face." "I'll give you to the count of three before I have to call in the sheriff and the deputy." "Don't make me get backup." "Come on, let's take a spin in the dumper." "I'll show you some tricks of the trade." "Sweet." "Remember, in the sewage business," ""Tide and time wait for no man."" "Yeah!" "These are all things to know if all this one day is gonna be yours." "The truck?" "No, you stupendously misinformed child." "The business." "Right." "Sorry." "Cool." "Let's go." "That Shredderman site's just some stupid, cruddy cartoon show some no-life loser at school made up." "And you don't know who's behind it." "Oh, yeah..." "No." "No, I don't." "But when I do..." "All right." "All right." "Don't let it get you down." "Desperate little people always take cheap shots at big people like us." "Bubba, they're jealous of us." "Yeah?" "Look at the two of us." "Me, I'm good-looking, I'm rich, I'm smart." "You, you take after your mother." "Even now, Papa Bear is working on a plan to outsmart the entire town." "Yeah." "That's so great." "You are?" "Yes." "I've generously offered to rebuild the old water reclamation plant down by the pond." "Once I have the town's support for my phony eco-mission," "I'll enact my real plan." "A plan that gives me access to a pond." "A pond that I can use for my own advantage, if you catch my drift." "Oh, yeah!" "I don't catch it." "What's important is that you understand that your old man is trying to build a sewage dynasty that stretches from sea to shining sea." "And then one day, one glorious day, whenever anybody hears the name Bixby," "they'll think of crap." "Yeah." "Crap." "So what're we doing way out here?" "Insurance." "We're gonna guarantee that the contract is awarded to us." "Yeah, but won't we get in trouble for dumping this thing out here?" "No." "Gary will." "Oh, man." "I hope one day I'm as smart as you." "That's really nice, Son." "You can hope." "Let's go." "What are you doing?" "What are you doing?" "No!" "Yes." "Okay." "Ugh..." "Well, as many of you know," "Bubba Bixby has been suspended for two days for the none-too-cool incidents that appeared on the Shredderman Rules website." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Don't take it so hard, kids." "Shredderman really took out Bubba like he promised." "Yeah, he did." "Mr. Green, everyone thinks you're Shredderman." "Yeah, are you?" "Yeah." "Are you?" "Is that true?" "Well, I guess it's time for me to tell the truth." "With music." "♪ Shredderman, Shredderman Shredderman is watching you" "♪ Shredderman will show the world All the evil that you can do" "♪ He'll show the world your evil plan Expose you plain and simple" "♪ And if you're hurting people, man" "♪ He'll squeeze you like a pimple ♪" "No, guys, I had nothing to do with that awesome website." "But you know who Shredderman is, right?" "Well, I think Shredderman put it best when he or she said," ""Shredderman is all of us."" "You sound like you're defending the guy." "No." "But I think that if we all knew someone was watching us, we'd be in the habit of being a little bit nicer to each other." "Kindness is cool, people." "Remember that." "All right, kindness is cool." "Kindness is cool." "Hey, Nole." "Yeah, Mr. Green?" "You do know that all the teachers were asked to turn in names of students who missed the lunch period the other day." "Uh..." "You're being pretty cool about this, Shredderman." "Relax." "I didn't turn your name in." "Mr. Green, I'm not Shredderman." "Okay." "Right." "Well, look at the time, I better get to lunch." "Don't wanna get a low mark." "See you." "Right." "Hey, Nolan." "You know you have one week left to turn in your report?" "And you still haven't told me what you're doing it on." "That's because, um, the entirety of the metamorphosis of the overall thinking of the evolution of the hypothesis..." "I've got no cover." "...it brought me back to..." "On me?" "Me, Nolan?" "You wanna do your project on me?" "Of course, yes." "Okay, Dad, calm down." "Calm down." "This is great." "This is super great, Nolan." "Okay, which one of my stories do you wanna start with here?" "Well, what's the story with the pond?" "Well, Mr. Bixby is getting final approval to renovate the historic water reclamation plant at the pond." "There's gonna be a big groundbreaking ceremony." "The Mayor's going to be there." "It's gonna be quite a hoo-ha." "Hoo-ha?" "Yeah, you know..." "You see, Bixby says he wants to give something back to the town and in exchange the town will grant him the deed to the surrounding parkland, which he'll beautify as part of his new eco-mission." "Bixby made his money in sewage." "Since when is he into making plants happy?" "Something stinks." "Oh, I'm sorry, I just burped my anchovy pizza." "Something stinks with the pond deal, Dad." "I mean, what if his supposed reclamation system hurts the pond?" "Well, Nolan, he's got oodles and oodles of studies here, saying it's perfectly safe." "It's all right here in black and white." "Look, Nolan, I know how much you love the pond." "And I also know how much you dislike the Bixbys." "But believe it or not, Bob Bixby is doing this town a favor." "A very expensive favor." "So, Nolan, just remember, the first rule of journalism is objectivity." "You see, you have to maintain a certain..." "Nolan?" "Why?" "Sorry." "Sorry." "It's not fair." "I mean, we've been taking care of this park for years, and now Bixby gets it?" "Someone like Bixby shouldn't even be allowed to walk by it, much less have responsibility for it." "I don't trust him." "And the sad part is, we can yell and scream all we want." "But the truth is, Isabel Lopez or Tina Atkins can't do a thing to stop Bixby from taking over this place." "Yeah." "Bixby..." "And the pond..." "Sure, Nolan." "It's like what he said." "Isabel's right." "Nolan Byrd can't save the pond from Bixby's clutches." "But Shredderman can." ""Doesn't Mr. Bixby's eco-mission stink of yesterday's sewage?"" "I love it." "Finally, someone who's not afraid to ask the tough questions." "No kidding." "Pond is mine!" "Pond is mine!" "He's really got Bubba's dad's number." ""Bixby smells of deceit, and he who smelled it dealt it."" "I just hope Shredderman knows what he's doing, putting all those accusations and stuff on the site." "Bixby's dad doesn't seem all that nice." "I mean, Shredderman could really be in trouble." "Are you kidding?" "Shredderman can stand up to a hack like Bixby." "Brains will always conquer brawn." "If anyone thinks that Shredderman doesn't have brains, they're going to get their butt kicked by moi." "That is so cool." "You guys want to see something else cool?" "Well, as you all know, tomorrow is our field trip to the pond." "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "It's going to be great." "Now, don't forget to pack your lunches, okay?" "And just in case you care, I love egg salad, and whole grain is good for the heart, too." "All right, with that being said," "Isabel is in the back of the room with her pet guinea pig, Claudette." "She's doing research on how pets reduce stress in stressful situations." "She needs volunteers." "Claudette, say hi to Nolan." "Nolan, Claudette." "I like to have my fuzzy stomach rubbed, too." "No, no." "My guinea pig, Diego, he likes to have his fuzzy stomach rubbed." "Well, then you should both be nice and relaxed." "Okay, now think of something that you care about." "Something that calms you down." "I like the pond." "What?" "Okay, now pet Claudette." "She really is calming you down." "Thank you for volunteering." "Maybe, someday, you know, if you ever want, we can have a guinea-pig play date." "You know, you, me, the guinea pigs, doing something?" "Your eyes dance when you laugh." "Uh..." "Yeah, I was just thinking." "You were saying..." "I was saying your eyes dance when you laugh." "Mr. Bixby?" "What's he want?" "Mr. Green, I have an issue." "Can I go to the boys' room?" "Yes, been there." "Run." "I'm sorry." "You're sorry?" "Look, there are 500 students here." "Unmasking the Shredderman isn't as easy as it sounds." "You know how important this project is for me." "For us." "Find me the Shredderman, whatever it takes." "I will." "Show me." "Hello, this is Dr. Voss." "As most of you are aware, a certain website is making outlandish accusations about one of our most outstanding citizens, Mr. Bixby." "I have no recourse but to order an immediate search of every student's locker." "Will all students please report to their lockers now and wait there for Mr. Bixby and myself?" "Thank you." "What do I have in my locker?" "Great grade." "I want hands open and nothing in your pockets." "Clear." "Clear." "Clear." "Nolan Byrd." "Oh, Nolan Byrd." "Of course." "My son, Bubba, speaks of you often." "I'm sure." "What's in your locker, Nolan?" "Nothing." "I mean..." "Show me." "I don't think Nolan is anyone you'd be interested in." "Oh, really?" "Really?" "Is that because you have some special inside information about this Shredderman that you wanna share with us?" "Me?" "No." "I just think..." "I want to see him in your office." "Mr. Green?" "Yes." "Unless there's a reason that you can't help us solve this problem." "Wait." "Mr. Green didn't do anything." "Nolan." "Nolan, Nolan, Nolan Byrd." "This really isn't any of your business." "So just stay out of it." "Let's go." "You look so vulnerable." "Need someone to hold you?" "Ow." "I can't believe they searched our lockers." "Total invasion of privacy." "It was like the time I was strip-searched by airport security." "That must've been really traumatic." "They'll get over it." "I mean, how would Voss and Bixby like it if people snooped into their stuff?" "I feel bad for Mr. Green." "He was humiliated in front of the whole school." "That was like the time I was in this dressing room naked, and..." "Okay, that's really enough." "I don't need to know that." "Nolan, what do you think about all this?" "I agree." "I don't wanna hear about the dressing room." "I was talking about Mr. Green." "I'm not sure what I think anymore." "Well, here goes everything." "As we all know, Mr. Green has been unfairly removed from our school." "The truth is..." ""..." "Mr. Green is the most prepared, engaging" ""and caring teacher that we have."" ""His methods may be unconventional to some," ""but his ideas and adventurous field trips are" ""the things we will remember most 20 years from now."" ""Mr. Green's support of Shredderman is proof," ""as opposed to certain members of the faculty and administration," ""he really does care about how his students are treated," ""and if Voss and Bixby think invading privacy and humiliation are okay," ""let them have a taste of their own medicine"?" "Why would you take on those two?" "Oh, no, Shredderman." "Sheila, by spring, it'll all be over and we'll be sun-kissed in Florida." "Oh!" "I hope you don't mind, but I packed a little early." "Oh, Sheila." "I love when you pack light." "You are such a little vixen." "Shredderman." "What?" ""In 1997, Bob Bixby lost his license to do business in three states..."" ""...after his Wonder Vitamins were proven to be merely gel caps stuffed with dirt."" "There's minerals in dirt." ""In 1985, Sheila Voss was asked to quit her cheerleading squad" ""because her cheers came from the wrong end."" "Isn't that crazy?" "Shredderman." "Okay, Diego, no embarrassing me in front of Isabel." "No gnawing or licking yourself." "Got it?" "Here!" "Here!" "Yes." "Hey, Todd." "Why are you playing football with a boot?" "And why are they playing street hockey with mops?" "Voss took away all the sports equipment." "Punishment for what Shredderman did." "He went for the nuclear option and now we're all paying for it." "Man, Voss is so burned, she even turned off the handicap elevator." "I'm okay." "Shredderman's ruining everything." "Diego's really excited about meeting Claudette." "Oh, too bad." "The field trip is canceled." "What?" "Voss canceled it because it's a Mr. Green activity, and since he's been put on administrative leave, she says it's not gonna happen." "Huh?" "Maybe this Shredderman should've weighed the repercussions before he got Mr. Green in even more trouble." "I mean, telling everyone that Green supports him..." "It made him look like he knows something." "What an impulsive goon." "At least now we know Shredderman's a guy." "I thought Shredderman was different." "Somebody who gave us hope that things could change, but he's just like the Bixbys." "♪ Shredderman's a deader man ♪" "Now, what I'm trying to say is, he's a loser." "Nolan, what are you doing up there?" "Nothing." "Nothing." "Look, when you say you're doing nothing, you're..." "doing nothing." "You all right?" "You don't look too good." "Yeah, I think I might be getting sick." "Headache?" "Cough?" "Vomiting?" "Yes." "Hmm." "Well, maybe you should stay home tomorrow." "I'm a little dizzy, too." "That's it then." "No school." "Maybe for the rest of the week." "It's been, like, two days now, and nothing from Shredderman." "What do you people expect?" "He made one mistake and you all turned on him." "Like pitchfork wielding villagers on Frankenstein." "He has feelings, too, you know." "How do you know, Man-Hands?" "I've been interfacing with His Shredderness." "We're like this." "Really?" "I just don't understand why he made such a big deal about the pond, and how important it was, and then just vanished?" "Bixby's groundbreaking is at the end of the week." "Why doesn't he care anymore?" "Trust me, he has his reasons." "I don't mean anything by this, Miriam, but it seems weird that you're the only person he's talking to." "Jealous, are we?" "What do your friends say?" "He's gone." "Done." "Cooked." "Toasted." "Shaked 'n baked." "Hey, what's wrong?" "You seem tense." "No touchy." "All right." "This isn't over yet." "Yeah, but Dad, I just told you Shredderman's history." "Bubba, what do we know about history?" "That it's really hard." "History always repeats itself." "So what do we do now?" "Now, we're going to have some real fun with Shredderman." "Yeah." "Here's what I want you to do." "Good morning, students." "This is Dr. Voss." "And now for some school news from Cedar Valley." "Greetings, worms and wormettes." "What?" "This is Shredderman." "Since you've all betrayed me, I think it's time I return the favor." "Hi, Mrs. Byrd." "I'm a friend of Nolan's." "Isabel from school." "Mr. Green wanted me to give him his assignments." "Wow." "You're a girl." "Yep." "And a friend of Nolan's?" "Uh-huh." "Can I just leave this 'cause I..." "Oh, no, no, don't be silly." "Come in." "Come in." "He's right upstairs." "Hey, would you like a snack?" "I've got waffles." "They're right here in the freezer." "Just toast 'em up." "It's just..." "No." "No." "No." "You don't have to." "Okay, well, he's upstairs." "It would really do him good to see a girl..." "Friend." "I mean a girlfriend who's, you know..." "He's bored to tears up there." "For wrecking my life, prepare to have your booty kicked, Bubbabeard." "Why, Gecko?" "Why have we been banished to the Cavern of Isolation when all we tried to do is help?" "All superheroes are outcasts at some point, Sticky, until the ungrateful citizens realize they need them again and the superheroes rise to the task." "Now, eat your cave moss and get some sleep." "Let me tell him you're here." "Come here." "Nolan." "Isabel's here." "Huh?" "What?" "Isabel." "She's here in the kitchen." "Shall I send her up?" "How great is that?" "No." "No." "No." "Don't send her up." "I'll come down in a second, the stairs are dangerous." "Room's a mess." "Hey, Nolan." "Hey." "Cool earring." "Oh." "Yeah, it's my grandma's." "I must've fallen on it or something." "Mr. Green wanted me to give you these assignments." "He's okay?" "Yeah." "He came back yesterday." "That's good." "I guess you heard what Shredderman did?" "Uh, no." "Haven't you been online?" "No, I haven't been on my computer in days." "He stole my guinea pig, Claudette." "He couldn't have." "He even left a note saying he was going to grill her." "He went from pond protector to guinea-pig thief." "I just don't get it." "I don't really think the real Shredderman would do something like that." "I think he's being set up." "Look, I gotta go." "Isabel?" "What?" "I think the real Shredderman will return." "Yeah, well, tell him to make it quick." "I will." "I mean..." "I mean, I would if I could." "If I knew where he..." "Or if he's a she, or she's a he." "Or..." "Right." "Smooth." "Four hundred messages?" "It's time for some serious shredding." "See, that's why he's been so mysterious lately." "He's got a girl." "It explains everything." "Feeling super." "Gonna go to school, which I love." "What a great day." "Later, Mom." "Bye, Dad." "No soap radio." "Hey, look who's back." "Hi, Nolan." "We were just talking about the negatives and positives of Shredderman." "Why are we still babbling on about that cyber-fraud?" "Hasn't he caused enough trouble?" "How do you know Shredderman did anything wrong, Bubba?" "'Cause I know, turd." "Mr. Bixby." "Because he left his mark." "That's not proof." "Well, he doesn't exactly have proof that my dad did anything bad, did he?" "But he still babbles on like he knows what he's talking about." "Bubba has a legitimate point there." "First time those two words have been used in the same sentence." "Nolan." "Look, why are you defending Shredderjerk?" "He's been dumping on everybody." "Maybe because he's Shredderman." "Who, me?" "Yeah, right." "I wish I was that ingenious." "I just think it's time that Shreddergoon showed some evidence." "Well, maybe he will." "Evidence." "Bubba's dad talks all kinds of trash." "Point is, I gotta catch him talking it." "Come on." "Just give me that." "Give me the bag." "Come on." "Come on." "Sharing is caring." "Sharing is caring, my friend." "Sorry, buddy." "Okay, look, I was just..." "Hey." "I might just have to take out a restraining order against you, Mr. Nolan Byrd." "Well, I am a big lacrosse fan." "Thought you'd be helping your girlfriend find her pet weasel." "It's a guinea pig." "Whatever." "It's just a little flea-carpet pee puppet." "Pets bite." "Well, you know, until you have a pet, you can't really understand how they bring out the best in a person." "If a pet will complete me, then a pet it shall be." "I know it's risky, but Bubba usually doesn't open his own backpack." "Except of course to put things in it." "Yuck." "Now, I just need to find a way to get Bixby ticked enough so he'll say something he shouldn't, and I can post it on the website." "All right?" "Yeah." "Hey." "Hey, Nolan." "Somehow I took Bubba's backpack home by mistake today." "So I'm just gonna go over there and swap." "Oh, well, I'll give you a ride over there, bucky." "I want to ask Bob some questions anyway." "No, thanks, Dad." "I've been sitting in front of that kooky computer all afternoon." "I mean, I could use the exercise." "Getting cottage-cheese butt, if you know what I mean." "I'm gonna just take Grandma's bike." "Bye." "All right." "Bye." "See you." "Sorry." "Why me?" "Byrd Turd." "You want a raisin?" "Oh, come on, it's nature's candy." "Why are you breathing my air in front of my house?" "I took the wrong backpack by mistake today." "Sorry." "You know, you should talk to my father." "Why?" "'Cause maybe he can pump out what's ever inside your head." "I mean seriously, what's your deal, No-lame?" "My backpack?" "Bubba, who's at the door?" "It's nobody important." "I think it's only fair I warn you." "Word on some of the school's blogs say" "Shredderman's going to take down your dad tomorrow." "He got the evidence." "If I were you, I'd warn your father." "It's gonna get real ugly." "Look, mark my words, Byrd Turd, the Bixbys ain't busted 'cause Shredderman is flusted." "Or flustered, or whatever." "One last thing." "Spit it out." "I got rice pudding in the kitchen, it's simmering and I gotta add my raisins before it starts to curdle." "Do you know where Isabel's guinea pig is?" "Last I heard, Shredderman took her." "Hey, Dad, there's some loser at the door..." "What did you say?" "I don't get it." "Of course you don't, because it's just too simple." "The little people are bringing me down." "Just like the big ape with the little blonde in the palm of his hand." "You mean Uncle Louie at his wedding." "The movie." "Bubba, the movie." "The movie with the big gorilla climbing up the side of the building, and the stupid, little people come by in their stupid, little-people planes, and they shoot at him, and they get to him." "They get to that big, mighty ape." "They get under his skin and those rotten, little people take him down, that big, beautiful ape, with their picking, and their pecking, and their pestering." "And then..." "Bubbles." "I'm not gonna let them make a dead monkey out of me." "I'm gonna sue them." "I'm gonna sue them for libel." "Because what those cheese balls are saying is libel." "That's right." "It is libel because you had all those studies done." "Bubba?" "Yeah." "I'm not a drum." "Sorry." "I had many studies done." "But the studies are fixed." "Once my reclamation plant is built that pond is gonna be a doody dumpster full of dead animals." "And I have news for you, we'd better be on our way to sunny Florida by the time the idiot town council figures it out!" "You know who's to blame for this?" "Absolutely." "Shredderman." "You." "You are to blame for it." "You had one simple thing to do." "Get rid of him." "And you blew it." "Police department." "Hi, Sergeant Klubb..." "Would you excuse me one second?" "Bubbles." "Yes, Sergeant Klubb, Bob Bixby." "Say, I need a little help from you and the Mayor." "I'm having a little problem with a website." "Hey, Mrs. Smith." "Nolan, how nice to see you." "Mr. Smith and I have been wondering how you've been." "Fine." "Just fine." "Is Max around?" "Oh, sure." "You know him, doing his homework as usual." "Thanks." "Doing homework, huh?" "Huh?" "Never could beat me at that game." "What're you doing here?" "Oh, gee, you actually said something to me." "Where's Isabel's guinea pig?" "Dude, look, I don't have..." "Don't "dude" me." "Must I remind you, you proposed to me?" "Do you want the whole school to know about that?" "Dude, that never happened." "I have the plastic ring." "We were five." "No one would ever believe you." "I have it on video." "That is harsh." "Where's Claudette?" "Help me." "Help Isabel." "All right, I'll help." "I just hope it's not too late." "Bubba brought her here yesterday." "Hopefully she hasn't been sold." "I hear that pets bring out the best in a person." "And there's someone special I want to be the best for." "You know what, their spines can break pretty easily, okay?" "I need to go to the cash machine." "Wrap it up." "Don't hate me." "I want that guinea pig." "Sorry, dude." "I just sold it." "Got a sweet sale on ferrets." "Claudette didn't have a black spot on her head." "Magic Marker." "Bubba's idea." "This guinea pig isn't yours." "If you sell it, I'll report you." "Cool, man, no problem." "She's better off with you anyway." "Take her." "And I'll need one of those." "They're free today." "Got the money." "Where is it?" "Some guys just took her." "It was mine." "I had to." "They said it was someone else's pet." "I can't get arrested again." "How about something a little more sturdy, like a turtle?" "Claudette!" "Claudette!" "No!" "So we meet again, Byrd Turd." "My name is Nolan." "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you." "I don't care what anybody calls you." "You almost made me spill 5,000 gallons of raw sewage." "Have you any idea what kind of mess that would make?" "Kind of like what you're planning to do to the pond with your water reclamation system." "Careful, Mr. Byrd." "You're in over your head." "And in the sewage business, that's a bad place to be." "Whoa, man, that was intense." "You just got right in Bixby's grill, stared down that beast and didn't even blink." "Nah." "No, man, you did." "Really." "Seriously." "Thanks." "And thanks for helping get Claudette back." "Hey, what are..." "Uh..." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah." "No problem." "Hey..." "You wanna walk to school tomorrow?" "I'll show you how to beat Blaster Destroyers." "Wait, dude, you can't beat me." "Don't know, but we'll see." "Okay." "Don't even play." "You know I can beat you." "Come on, now." "I taught you." "You guys, too, huh?" "I'm starting to get a bad feeling about this." "Things could get messy." "Real messy." "Get some rest, Byrd Turd." "You look pooped." "Bubba, you're tardy." "That's right, Mr. G." "I am the party." "And the party has arrived." "Right, guys?" "You know what I'm saying?" "Before we get started today, I just want to thank whoever it was for bringing back Claudette." "Mr. Green, can I go to the bathroom?" "You're fine, but be safe out there." "But the studies are fixed." "Once my reclamation plant is built that pond is gonna be a doody dumpster full of dead animals." "And I have news for you..." "Yes." "Yes." "I did it." "I did it." "Still a thrill, huh?" "Oh, yeah." "But the studies are fixed." "Once my reclamation plant is built that pond is gonna be a doody dumpster full of dead animals." "I'm really proud of you guys." "Good luck at the protest." "Don't forget your protest signs, okay?" "It's gonna be great." "So is everything cool?" "Yeah." "Yeah?" "Well, while you were out trying to save the world," "Isabel and some of your other classmates decided to stage an old-fashioned protest at Bixby's groundbreaking ceremony." "What's that going to do?" "Well, it seems like doing any more at this point is too much of a risk." "Don't you think?" "Look at what they did to me just for having my name on that site." "These people are not playing, Nolan." "Sometimes you have to risk things to get things." "Well, can't argue with that." "I know. 'Cause you're the one who said it." "Mr. Green, thanks for being such a cool guy." "You're pretty cool yourself, Shredderman." "I have no idea what you're talking about." "Miriam, not now." "We're through." "We?" "Uh..." "Okay." "I found someone else." "Someone who knows how to treat a woman." "That's great." "I'm very happy for you." "Don't you want to know who?" "Sure." "Who's the lucky guy?" "Oh, boy." "Come on, Bubba." "Here you go, man." "Psych!" "Man, these are fun." "Good times." "Good times with these bad puppies." "Give 'em to me." "Okay, you want 'em?" "Yes." "There you go." "Yo, turd." "My dad says thanks." "For what?" "For giving him the heads up on Shredderman." "He got the cops and school to shut the site down." "Huh?" "The website is history." "We just checked it out two minutes ago." "The Bixbys ain't busted 'cause Shredderman is dusted." "Nolan, are you all right?" "Great, just great." "It was true." "Now no one will hear Bixby's plan." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Aren't you gonna stay for the protest?" "No." "Don't you believe what Shredderman is saying?" "It doesn't really matter anymore." "You know what?" "I don't know if it does either." "All I know is, whoever Shredderman is, he speaks with more passion and intelligence and love for this pond than anyone else." "And that's who I'm with." "Besides, I know he was the one who saved Claudette." "And I'll always be thankful for that." "I just wish I could thank him, or help him in some way." "Introducing Shredderman and Shreddergirl." "Whoo!" "Yeah." "Yeah." "It should be interesting to hear what Bixby has in mind for this place." "Who knows what'll come out of his mouth?" "What did you say?" "I can't believe you." "Why are you always so out of it?" "It's just..." "Never mind." "I gotta go." "Nolan Byrd, you are so weird." "Welcome, all." "Well, I guess it's just appropriate that we have such a beautiful day in which to celebrate Bob Bixby and his generous contribution to our town." "Bob's generosity will ensure that the tranquility of this park will endure for generations to come." "Go away." "Flush the plan." "Flush the plan." "Flush the plan." "Flush the plan." "Flush the plan." "Flush the plan." "Flush the plan." "Flush the plan." "Now, children..." "We're not children." "We're citizens." "Yeah." "Yeah." "By legal definition, if you're not old enough to vote, zip it." "Actually, what Mr. Bixby meant when he said, "Zip it,"" "was that sometimes people will confuse change with something bad." "But I can assure you all that what we do here today, we will look back on and be very, very proud of." "Amen." "We will rock the boat." "This is our pond." "And so, without further delay, let's sign this contract." "And..." "Look." "Very funny." "Very funny." "Cool toy." "Let's sign this thing." "Get away from me." "Good job." "Good job, Son." "Everybody, that's Bubba Bixby, future Sewage King." "I love that kid." "Move." "Get out of the way." "How's the weather up there?" "Don't worry, Mayor." "I'll get the contract." "Everybody, calm down." "Look at all the pretty ponies." "We'll see who's laughing when I sign that contract." "Yes, I got all three." "The studies are fixed." "Once my reclamation plant is built that pond is gonna be a doody dumpster full of dead animals." "The studies are fixed." "Once my reclamation plant is built a doody dumpster full of dead animals." "That's Bob Bixby." "Well, that's a little boat, but it's Bob Bixby's voice." "...studies are fixed." "Once my reclamation plant is built..." "Bubba." "Bubba, get off your sorry fan-tootie, and kill that boat." "Now." "Coming to help you, Dad." "I'm gonna save the day." "Dude." "Bubba's dad is a total fake." "Totally exposed." "Exposed?" "Reminds me of the time I was at the doctor's office naked." "I've done nothing wrong." "Nothing wrong." "You people are gonna be sorry." "Sorry." "Bixby's busted." "Shredderman rules." "Bixby's busted." "Shredderman rules." "Bixby's busted." "Shredderman rules." "Bixby's busted." "Shredderman rules." "Hello, my meddlesome friend." "You can hide, but you can't run." ""Support Shredderman's plight." ""Stop Dr. Voss." ""Just use your kite." Huh?" "Shredderman?" "Oh!" "Shredderman, I don't think so." "Say hello to my little friend." "Yeah." "Good stuff." "You're barking up the wrong tree, my friend." "Way to go, Isabel." "You can't stop me with your puny planes." "Come on." "Come to Bubba, boat." "Gotcha." "Dad, I got it." "Well, obviously, the town and the council and I will reconsider its options regarding our beautiful pond." "This is your captain, Shredderman, speaking, champion of the little guy." "Have a nice day." "Mr. Mayor." "Mr. Mayor, sir." "Bob Bixby, a man we thought we could trust, came this close to turning one of our city's greatest treasures into a virtual cesspool." "Any comment on what you believe brought the big man down?" "Isn't it obvious, Mr. Byrd?" "'Twas doody killed the beast." "Nice." "Beautiful, honey." "Just like you." "Oh, you." "Okay." "Well, that's my taxi." "Don't wanna miss my flight." "Flight?" "Yeah, baby." "I'm off to London." "My boss thought the Bixby article was so good, he's sending me to cover the G8 summit." "No bonding?" "What about sharing our feelings over my report on you?" "Well, thanks, Nole, I'll read this on the plane." "Thanks." "Well, pip-pip, cheerio and all that." "Bye, honey." "Bye." "Well, I'll have to see you later." "I'm gonna go start my new project." "Which is?" "Building a pool." "It would've been nice to bask in the glow of hero worship, but there was no way I could reveal my secret identity." "Hey, Nolan, you rule." "Good morning, Nolan." "Community service rocks." "At least, not yet." "Actually, Nolan, Shredderman rules." "But you're nice, too." "Oh..." "Well, hello, Nolan." "Have a nice semester." "I've been asked to take an early, unpaid sabbatical." "Lucky me." "Things were even different for Bubba." "Hey, Miriam, I love your hair." "Would you like to go out sometime?" "Just kidding." "Hey, Miriam, I hear guys keep taking you out." "But you seem to find your way back home." "That is so funny." "Did you guys hear that?" "So good." "So good." "Bubba was gonna be Bubba till the day he died." "But what had changed was the way we all dealt with him." "Good times." "And as for me?" "Well..." "Nolan." "Nolan." "Guess what." "Claudette is pregnant." "Huh?" "Claudette is going to have babies." "Isn't that cool?" "I just wish I knew how that happened." "A miracle, I guess." "I'm so glad Shredderman saved the pond." "He showed up just in time, in true superhero fashion." "Oh, you would have loved it, Nolan." "You know, he seems to care about all the same things you do." "Really?" "Funny how you and Shredderman are never around at the same time." "Um..." "Scheduling conflicts, I guess." "Oh." "Well, see you later." "Isabel?" "Yes?" "I was wondering..." "Right..." "If..." "If..." "You..." "I..." "If you would..." "You can do this." "If you'd like to go hang out at the pond tomorrow?" "I did it." "I'm the man." "Nolan?" "I've waited nine years for this moment." "I asked Isabel out." "Yo." "I didn't even give you an answer yet." "Oh, right." "So do you want to?" "Yes." "Awesome." "Nolan Byrd, you are so weird." "♪ When it felt too good to be true" "♪ 'Cause you've never said" "♪ What you mean to say" "♪ Anyway you look at it, I'm confused" "♪ If you can't see where this is gonna lead," "♪ Reach for me" "♪ Don't wanna wait another day without you" "♪ Take me to higher ground" "♪ We'll be safe and sound" "♪ Come on, reach for me" "♪ I can't wait another day without you" "♪ Take me to higher ground" "♪ We'll be safe and sound" "♪ Reach for me" "♪ Just reach for me" "♪ I've got it all figured out" "♪ You decide what's best for you" "♪ 'Cause you will build me up" "♪ So don't let me down" "♪ I can't make you do What you don't want to" "♪ If you can't see where this is gonna lead" "♪ Reach for me" "♪ Don't wanna wait another day without you" "♪ Take me to higher ground" "♪ We'll be safe and sound" "♪ Come on, reach for me" "♪ I can't wait another day without you" "♪ Take me to higher ground" "♪ We'll be safe and sound" "♪ Reach for me ♪"