"[Heath] Enjoy your crickets, losers." "The Omega Chis pranked us?" "The old crickets down the chimney gag." "[Casey] I poured my heart out to you at the end of the world party and you didn't" " come after me." " But I'm here now." "What you guys need is a common enemy." "We get our houses to team up against him." "Bond over our hatred for Huck together." "Guys, we can't hold this forever!" " They need our help up there!" " Run, Cap." "No, no, no, no!" " [Cappie] You planned this?" " Yes!" "We left you guys holding the cart and we called the police." "I had to do it to get my house back." "And your solution was to get three of my brothers expelled." "[Evan] I could really use a friend right now." "The judges scores are in." "The winner of this year's songfest is Gamma Psi." " [gasping] - [indistinct chatter]" "The judges gave us 95, 95, 99 and a zero." "He also gave the Gamma Psis a 100." "We have our proof." "Rebecca, did you remember to blow out that candle?" "We the sisters of Zeta Beta Zeta promise never to tell anyone what happened tonight." "I'm telling you, the hole has to be deeper or it'll come up after the first rainfall." "Please say you learned that from a scary movie." "OK." " Would you stop eating?" "!" " I can't." "Guys!" "Once we're done here, we can put this behind us forever." "No, not there." "There." "Hey, Betsy!" "It's good to be back, right?" "Gotta love spring." "Fresh start, wipe the slate clean." "Yeah, and with all the stress of burning down the Gamma Psi house, I couldn't eat over winter break so I look fantastic." "We don't know it was us, so..." "Hi, Laura!" "[chuckles] Uh, is it brighter in here?" "The Gamma Psi house used to block the sun this time of day." "We should get used to the brightness." "That's what it'll be like when they interrogate us." "Did you tell anyone what we did?" "I didn't tell anyone, a, because we don't know we did anything and b, we have a pact." " The pact." " [cell phone rings] i" " Cappie!" "Where are you?" " I wanted to get a jump on the semester." "I'm buying my books." "Really?" "You do know that comic books don't count, right?" "[Cappie] Ha, ha." "Are you mad at me?" "No, I just thought you'd be here for a romantic" ""I haven't seen you in three weeks" kiss." "[Cappie] And catch your cooties?" "No thanks." "You're so full of... [phone beeps]" "Hello, Clarice." " Oh, my gosh!" " [grunts]" "Oh!" "Oh, my gosh!" " I'm so..." " These are for you." " Thank you." " [grunts]" " Um." "Oh, my God." "Oh." " [grunts]" " Welcome back, Case." " Hi." "Hi. [moans]" " Dale, I'm home." " [man] Hello?" "Excuse me..." "Uh..." "Who are you guys?" "Hey, look who's back!" "I see you've met my interns." " That's Todd and Tim." " Actually, I'm Tim." " Darn it, I keep doing that." " You have interns?" "Yeah, they're freshmen who got in touch with me after the break." "Apparently, they were dazzled by my project and my performance at the Battle Bot competition, and wanted to be part of Team Kettlewell." "Word gets around, huh?" " Well, you know, what can I say?" "They think I'm gonna win the Gary Wyatt grant." "Forty G's is a big chunk of cheese." "When do you think we'll hear?" "It could be today, could be next month." "All the officials said was this semester." "This meatloaf's moldy." "Want me to throw it out?" "Or, we could take it to the lab, determine its genus." "Go crazy, fellas." "Well, I gotta get going to the KT house." "Hey, Rusty, wait." "Um, are we OK?" "I mean, no hard feelings, or anything?" "Yeah, we're fine." "It's just three of my KT brothers" " got expelled last semester." " Really?" "Cappie didn't mention that in his Christmas newsletter." "He did have a fantastic date-nut bar recipe." "So I gotta go." "My house needs me." "So who wants to learn the chemical compound of dust bunnies?" "All right, come on." " Home sweet home." " Ooh, happy last semester!" "Wait, why am I peppier than you?" "Are you worried about the fire like everyone else here?" "[grunts] No, I wasn't until you just mentioned it." "Sorry." "What's wrong?" " Well, Fisher and I broke up." " Wait!" "?" "What?" "When?" "When we talked on Christmas, everything was great." "Well, it just didn't work out." " Ooh, flowers." " Do you want to talk about it?" "Ooh, flowers." "Who are they from?" " Cappie." " And our front yard." " [laughs] Same old Cappie." " Or, not." "Cappie and I talked constantly over break." "He even called to wish me a happy Boxing Day, whatever that is." "Um..." "I really think it's going to work this time." "Well, then I do too." "It's an exciting way to start out the new semester." "You've got a boyfriend, I'm single, we're arsonists." "We really need to stop saying that." "We don't know we're responsible." "Which is good, because if we were, we'd be totally screwed." " [Rebecca] Hi." " Hey, hi." "You girls seem nervous and guilty." "We were just talking about the fire." " Oh, that?" " You're not nervous?" "You were the one that lit the candle." "We don't know that's what caused the fire." "[Rebecca] Why would I be nervous?" "When we were leaving the Gamma Psi house" "I noticed how tacky the wallpaper was, which made me think this house blows, which reminded me to tell Ashleigh to blow out the candle." " Who wants to hit the bookstore?" " You did not!" "OK, let's not keep pointing fingers at each other." "Says the woman whose idea it was to go over there in the first place." "OK, you managed to remember that correctly." "Fine, I will talk to Katherine and find out how the investigation's going." "We'll find out that we're not to blame and we can go on with our lives." "So, for now, can we just relax and stay calm?" "[Beaver] Maybe we should have a wake for Wade," " help us get over the loss." " What about Jeremy and Ferret?" "They're gone, too." "And Heath." "'Cause "wake for Wade" is faster to say." " And it's alliteradation." " Close." "We should do something to memorialize the guys." "Or we could slaughter Evan Chambers and the Omega Chis." "That would perk us up." "In due time, Beav." "Whoa, whoa, whoa." "What do you think you're doing, pledge?" " I was going to sit down." " Yeah, but Wade sat there." "Oh, sorry." "[groaning]" "Wade sat there, too." "I think Wade probably sat everywhere in the house." "Then it looks like he's standing." "We should choose a replacement for Wade as pledge educator." "You know, maybe we don't need a pledge educator this year." "Why don't we just initiate all of them, that way we don't have to worry about it." "Jeremy loved initiation, especially the secret knock." "[knocks twice] [sniffs] Man!" "I could be pledge educator." "No offense, Spitter, but you're no Wade." "[Rusty] No, but I am me." "I feel terrible I wasn't there the night Wade and the guys got busted." "Come on, gimme a chance." "All right, fine." "[grunts] By the power vested in me," "I now pronounce you pledge educator." "[Calvin] History of Pornography?" "Yeah, hey, come on." "I need this to graduate." "[man] It's the douchebags." "[chuckles]" "I guess the Cold War with the KT house is over 'cause of that prank." "Now it's just open hostility." "Your boyfriend was involved too." "That maybe so." "But he wasn't president." "[sighs] Listen, I didn't mean for those guys to get expelled, but I had to do something to get control of the house back." " You get that, right?" " Yeah, I do." "It just wish that it hadn't happened the way it did." "But, I guess the silver lining is that Grant finally feels good enough with the brothers that he's ready to come out to the house." "He decided to tell his family over the holidays, so now we're gonna come out to the house and finally have a normal relationship." " Congratulations, man." " Yeah." "Yeah, so what should we do for that?" "You wanna have like a..." "like a brunch?" "Or...?" "No, I think low key is better." "Don't wanna make a big deal of it." "Right." " But it's good to know you're in my corner for sure." " Absolutely." " Uh-oh." "Forgot, Byzantine Architecture." "I'd rather have your class." " Hey." " Hey." " Well." "See you around." " Yeah." "OK, so we'll have the chapter meeting in the ping-pong room of my dorm, but we have to be out by eight o'clock because it's reserved for a pizza pow-wow." " OK, bye." " [phone beeps]" "Hi, Casey, how are you?" "Good." "How's it going?" "Just fantastic." "The university here put me in this dorm room without wi-fi, skateboarding stickers on my bed and a roommate who rages all night and sleeps all day." "[chuckles softly]" " [woman groans]" " Oh, Angie, it is 4:00pm." " [Angie] Shut up, Mom!" " [sighs]" "[Katherine] So I know you're here about songfest." "And despite the fact that my clipboard and all worldly possessions are nothing but a pile smoldering ash," "I am still looking into the situation." "Well, actually, I came here to see how you were doing and to tell you how very, very sorry I am about the fire." "Oh, well, that is very oughtful of you, Casey." "Did they find out how it happened?" "Faulty wiring?" "Oily rags?" "No, they are still investigating." "Still?" "Seriously?" "I mean, that's gotta be hard for you." "Well, in the meantime, Pan-Hellenic and IFC are organizing a "Help Us Rebuild Our Castle" Fairy Tale Fundraiser Ball at the Canyon Lake Lodge." "So, I really hope we can count on ZBZ to be there and give us support." "[voice cracks] Anything to help Gamma Psis." "[indistinct shouting]" "All right." "Hey guys." " [man] Rebound." " [man 2] Shoot!" "[man 3] Shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot!" "[cheering]" "My kindergarten teacher used to do that." "I'm your new pledge educator." "So, if someone could tell me where Wade left off, um, maybe..." " Yeah, Marbles." " [belches] [all chuckling]" "OK." "Any other questions?" " Ooh." " Anthony Hopkins." "Can you teach us how to make a stink bomb for Omega Chi?" "Well, actually, my job is to teach you about KT history and how to steer you through your pledgeship." "So, uh... [mumbles] [indistinct shouting]" "[Rusty] OK, hey, guys... guys." "I'd appreciate it if I could just get a little ounce of attention." " [shushing]" " There you go." "Hey, how 'bout we find out what the chalice means on the Kappa Tau crest." "Go ahead with your little lesson, Spitter." "They'll listen now." "Won't they?" " Won't they?" " [all] Yes, sir." "OK, so first order of business:" "We're all gonna go to the Gamma Psi Fairy Tale Ball." "So we can dress up and be reminded of how we burned their house down?" "We don't know that." "They're still investigating." "[doorbell rings]" "[Rebecca] Besides, fairy tales are such crap." "Sleeping Beauty was based on a story about a girl who was violated in her sleep and then ended up pregnant." "There's nothing sweet about that." "[Betsy] Um, Ashleigh?" "Hello, fireman, sir." "How can we help you here at ZBZ?" "[crunches] - [man] I'm going to all the houses to drop off fire safety pamphlets, in light of what happened at Gamma Psi." "Oh, so you guys are done with the investigation?" "Yes, and we determined the fire was started accidentally by a candle." "Look, I'm sure there are lots of candles in that house." "Like in a bathroom." "Or the kitchen." "There were." "But the one that started the fire was in the common room." " Jasmine, I believe." " Ah!" "[man] You ladies have to be careful about these kinds of things." " [mouths] Thanks." " Have a good night." "[all] Good night." " We burnt down a use!" " But he called it an accident." " Ashleigh, you're off the hook!" " [murmuring] [scoffs] Casey, What do we do?" "Uh, no one knows we were there." "And no one's broken the pact." "So..." "We're going to have to go to that ball." "[man] What's up, Cap?" " Cappie, can I talk to you?" " You know, can we do it later?" "I'm meeting your sister for costume shopping and if I'm late she'll make me go to this ball as the least attractive dwarf, which I happen to think is Sneezy, so..." "Why'd you tell Beaver to babysit me?" "I just wanted to make sure you didn't get eaten alive." "Our pledges are cuddly, but they are also vicious." "[laughs] OK, well, they won't listen to me if they don't think I'm in charge." "And I can't be in charge when you don't let me." " I need to do this my way." " And what, exactly, is your way?" "I'm thinking about getting a whistle." "Add some orange slices and you've got yourself a youth soccer team." " Come on." " All right, fine." "No more Beaver." " Hey!" " Hey." "Welcome back." " I missed you." " I missed you, too." " You put the picture out." " Yeah, it seemed appropriate." "And there's another photo op coming up." "There's this fairy tale ball for Gamma Psi and I was thinking we could go as Tweedledee and Tweedledum." "People always thought they were a gay couple in fairy tale land anyway, right?" "Um... about that." "Um, I didn't exactly come out to my family when I was home." " But you said..." " I wanted to." "But... there was always a visitor, and the game was on and..." "I don't know, it just wasn't the right time." "Hmm?" "So I guess there's probably never gonna be a right time to tell the guys either, huh?" "I'm just not ready yet." "I'm sorry." "Look, that doesn't need to change anything between us though, right?" "[Calvin] It kind of changes everything." "We've been together for three months." "And what, we're just supposed to wait another three months?" "I'm not gonna force you to do anything you're not ready to do, but..." "I can't stay in a relationship that has to be a secret." " What does that mean?" " It means that as much as it kills me..." "I think it's over." "[Cappie] How about I go as the Big Bad Wolf and you can go as the grandma?" "Um, the whole reason sororities throw parties is so girls can look hot and slutty, not old." "All right." "Well, how 'bout I go as the wolf who blows down the Three Little Pigs' houses." "Or, in honor of Gamma Psi, is there a version where he burns the houses to the ground?" "You know what?" "I don't think so." "You know, are we sure we wanna go to this thing?" "I mean, who wants to sit around and listen to people talk about a fire all night?" "You're right." "You know, I'm just go with the girls and I'll meet up with you later." "That's not what I meant." "I'll go." "I'll totally go." " Is everything OK?" " Um..." "With us, I mean?" " Totally." "Yeah, it's all good." " Good." "Honestly, I feel bad for them." "Could you imagine what it would be like if your house burned down?" "You know what?" "I need some... some air so..." " Oh, my God." "Oh, God!" "Um..." " Actually, that's the devil." " Yeah." " [man] My bad." "You know what?" "I really like this one." "Um..." "I'm gonna go pay." "[rock music plays]" "You're studying and classes haven't even started yet?" "I'm reading about ways to inspire young minds in hopes of becoming the new KT pledge educator, since your house got our last one expelled." "Oh, hey, I had nothing to do with that." "I know." "But that Grant did." "I don't get why you're with that guy." "Yeah, well, it's actually why I'm here." "I was wondering if I could, you know, crash here until another room in the house opens up." "You guys broke up?" "Uh, well, let's just say we're driving on different sides of the same street." " So, can I stay here?" " Yeah, of course." "You know, maybe it's for the best." " I never liked that Grant." " Yeah, Rus." "Thanks for having my back and all, but... too soon." "Hey, I think there's this gay guy in my Engineering program." " You want me to get his number?" " Absolutely not." "[indistinct chattering]" " [woman shushing] It's Evan." " [chattering stops]" " [Evan] Hi." " Hey, what are you doing here?" "I wanted to apologize for yesterday." " It was a little weird." " It was a lot weird." "[both chuckle]" " So, what I really wanted to say then was thank you for being there for me." "You know, that night." "You needed a friend, and I needed what you brought to the table." "[chuckles] True." "Um, but, you know, I just wanted to make sure we're cool." "'Cause unlike the first time we hooked up, we're friends now so..." "I would say having sex makes you better friends." " Hm." " So yes, we're cool." " Excuse me." " [Rebecca clears throat]" "Careful, there's a lot of pixie dust and taffeta around here." "Um, are you gonna go to the ball?" "I guess." "But it's all a bunch of nonsense." " Hmm." "Did you know the real reason Rapunzel got stuck in a tower is because her father tried to sell her for food?" "That sucks." " Finally." "Someone who sees it the way I do." "So let's just take it all in." "Good." "Tell me what your first impressions of Wade's room are." " Anthony Hopkins?" " It smells like dirty sheets." "[all] Mm-hmm." " And bong water." " That's good." "I'd like to praise you for your positive attributes and thank you for your contributions." "Hey, what are you guys doing in here?" "Why aren't you meeting in the basement?" "We're bonding as a unit by brainstorming on a way to honor Wade and the other guys." "So we came up to Wade's room to soak up his essence." "Maybe I can help." "I think I've got it, but thank you for your offer." "What I would focus on is how much fun you guys had" " when you were with Wade." " I think we're having a pretty good time right now, so..." "Did you know that once when I was having a bad day," "Wade shaved his eyebrows just to make me smile?" "I mean, you won't find someone like that every day." "True, but all sorts of things can make this guy smile, so... [shushing] What else, Cap?" "No!" "OK, shows over." "I'll just clean it up." "It's just a bunch of beer bottles." "From a trip Wade made around the world." "The world of beer." "So we're going to keep them here forever?" "You know what?" "Everybody out." "From now on, keep your meetings in the basement." " Wade's room is off limits." " Cap?" "Let's go, Spitter." "[indistinct chattering]" " Today totally sucked." " Yeah, I almost destroyed a costume shop." "I told Cappie it's because I had too much coffee, but I don't know how long I can keep this secret from him." "I want to tell him about the fire." " You can't." " But keeping this secret is creating all this weirdness between us." "Casey, you started this pact." "You can't start telling people." "Especially Cappie." "He's the kind of guy you go to if you want to start a fire." "I don't think that you can trust him with something this major." " That's a little unfair." " OK, fine." "Never mind." "First the flowers, now this." "Suddenly you're down on Cappie?" "[sighs] I know you're in this blush of rekindled love, but you can't count on him." "What happens when you guys break up again?" "When?" "I told you, it's not like freshman year." "Why are you being so cynical, Ash?" "I'm being realistic." "I know in your mind, it's going to last forever." "But I've been watching this dance between you and Cappie for years." "Will they?" "Won't they?" "I just don't think you should share this with someone you're probably not even going to end up with." "[sighs]" "Um?" "Hey, invite the lady in." "Don't just stare at her." "Hey... [chuckles]" "My apologies, Casey." "My interns are scientifically adept" " but socially inept." " Of course you have interns." "Case, what's up?" "I need advice about something." "Is it how to deal with Cappie and his attitude lately?" "He's probably being weird with you because of me." "So, remember when you were eight and you took apart the TV because you wanted to see what it looked like on the inside but when you put it back together," " we stopped getting channel five?" " And you covered for me, you said channel five went out of business." "Mom totally bought it." "Then why did you wake her up in the middle of the night" " and tell her the truth?" " I don't know." "I guess" "I didn't wanna keep something like that from her." "But what she didn't know wouldn't have hurt her." "But it would've messed up our relationship." "We performed magic together." "It would have been totally awkward." "You mean more awkward than you calling Mom your lovely assistant?" "Hey, maybe you can help me with something." "I can't seem to get my pledges in line." "The sorority world is totally different." "We just give them presents." "I can't see puffy paint making an impact on Dumptruck." "Cookies are up." "Take a few to go, Case." " They're so well-trained." " I know." "How did you make them to do that?" "Confidence." "I know I'm the best, therefore, they know I'm the best." " Where've you been?" " [Calvin sighs]" "I've been thinking about staying at Rusty's." "Just until another room in the house opens up." "[Grant] You don't need to move out." "We can divide the room in two and put a piece of tape down the middle." "And since your bed's by the door," "I'll come in and out the window." "Probably not a good idea." "I made you a copy just to remind you how much I care." "Grant, I know you do." "I just wish you cared more about me than about what everyone else thinks." "It's not that simple." "Maybe I'm not ready for my life to change." "I can't just close the door on who I've always been." "And I wish you could see it as opening a door to something more real." "Listen up, you numb-nutses!" "Uh..." "Who the hell is this guy?" "I'm your worst nightmare." "Eyes forward!" "Who said you can eat?" "!" "[gulps]" "Now, it's my understanding that y'all been taking advantage of Mr. Cartwright." "So let me make something very clear to you, if you think I'm scary, you have no idea what this man is capable of." "So it would behoove you to start doing what he says." "Do I make myself clear?" " Do I?" "!" " [all] Yes, sir!" "Now we're ready to work." "Whoa, whoa!" "Nobody said anything about any pagan sacrifices." "[whispers] It's Wade's." "I just brought it for back-up in case your way didn't work." "But now it's just used for effect." "Now, we're really gonna get some work..." " [grunts] - [all gasp]" " My toe!" " That's effective, all right." "[whimpering]" "Nice twinkle lights." "Although, this did take you longer than I expected and someone needs the staple gun." "My boyfriend was supposed to help me." "He's late." "By forty-five minutes." "Should never rely on a man for anything other than procreation." "My mother told me that." "I hope this raises a lot of money for your house." "[Katherine] Yeah, I'm just having a hard time feeling festive because we found out that someone was in Gamma Psi before the fire started." "Uh, how do you know?" "Well, we lit a ritual candle before songfest, and the last Gamma Psi out of the house blew out the candle." "I mean, maybe she's just saying that she did because she feels bad." "Burning down a house could make you feel pretty guilty." "I imagine." " I know she did because it was me." "I was the last person to leave the house." " I know that candle was out." " Hey!" "Sorry I'm late." "Uh, I'm Casey's boyfriend, Cappie." "President of Kappa Tau." "Right." "Casey, remember my mother's advice." " My, she's tall." " I gotta go, Cap." "I thought we were hanging lights." "Yeah, 45 minutes ago." "It's already done." "I'm sorry, there was this thing at the house." "Apparently, your brother cannot handle cutlery." " But you could've called." " Look, I'm sorry." "It's just been kinda rough at the house lately." "Rusty said you haven't been yourself." " What's going on?" " Just stuff, you know." "Stuff?" "Why can't you just tell me when something's bothering you?" "Why, because you tell me when something's bothering you?" "Things have been awkward between us ever since you came back from break." "I've been busy." "You don't have to come tonight, if you don't want to." "I will go if you want me to go." "Come if you want." "Or not." "I'm sorry, I just..." "I have to get back to the house." "Mirror, mirror on the wall." "Who's the hottest of them all?" "Still me." "Hey, Evil Queen, you're standing on my hair." "OK, um, we've got a problem." "The Gamma Psis know someone was in the house." "They had a candle lit in the common room before they left," " but Katherine blew it out." " What do we do?" "I can't go to jail." "I am not going to be someone's bitch." "Relax, Rapunzel." "If I learned anything from shredding documents for my dad when I was a kid, it's that if they can't link you to the crime, you won't do the time." "Rebecca's right." "They can't trace this back to the house because they don't have any evidence that we were there." "Yeah, sounds good, Case." "Um, one question." "Is it bad that I still have Katherine's clipboard?" "You what?" "Why didn't you get rid of it?" "!" "Because it's proof we got cheated out of songfest." "Yeah, it's also proof we were there the night the house burned down." "I call top bunk in our cell." "Ashleigh." "Fire trumps voter fraud." "I'll just keep it in my dresser." "So when they show up with a search warrant they'll find it, and we can all go to jail?" "Don't you watch Criminal Minds." "I'll put it in the dumpster outside." "Trash is one of the first places cops look." "Hello?" "Law  Order." "Then I will keep it in the trunk of my car." "What if you get in an accident?" "They can get our DNA from a single drop of sweat." " [all] Scrubs." " [Casey] OK, girls!" "On our way to the ball, we'll put someplace no one will ever find it and then we will be done with it." "For good." "All right, look sharp, Dumptruck." "You've got big shoes to fill." "Wade and I were the Maverick and Goose of the Allied Forces." " [man] Right." " [Cappie] I'm going right." "Why aren't you guys dressed for the ball?" "What good's a Pied Piper without his rats?" "Cappie, do you want to come with us?" "Uh, I'm not sure your sister wants me there." "Yeah, she mentioned things were weird." "She did?" " You know what?" "It's none of my business." "Hey, come on, guys." "Let's go." "Come on!" "Yeah, before The Impaler cuts off another one of our toes." "You guys don't have to worry about that." "I hid the cleaver, all right." "We can't afford to lose any more appendages." "Too bad we can't bail on dressing up as rats." "Look, if you guys don't want to go, you don't have to go." " Sweet!" " Yes, you do." "Yes, they're my pledges." "Look, Spitter..." "You've given your all to these guys, but you just don't have them under control the way Wade did." "Maybe I would if you'd support me a little." " I've supported you." " Oh, really?" "Sending Beaver to babysit me?" "Interrupting my meetings?" "You're hiding Wade's cleaver?" "You're undermining me." "You just can't take Wade's cleaver and expect to be as good a pledge educator as he was." "I'm not trying to be Wade!" "I'm trying to be me." "I took this job because I love Kappa Tau and I wanted the pledges to feel the same way." "You know what?" "Maybe I'm not the right guy to be pledge educator, but they deserve more than what you're giving them." "Wade's gone." "Playing video games, blowing off Greek events isn't the way to bring him back." "[sighs]" "[door closes]" " Would you stop eating?" " I can't." "Guys... [sighs]" "Once this is done, we'll put this behind us." "Forever." "[clears throat]" "Nature creeps me out." "Let's get out of here." "[whispers] OK." "[Ashleigh] Um..." " We came in this way." " No, we came in this way." "I remember... stepping over a log..." "at some point." "[* Jupiter One:" "Fire Away]" "* Is anybody here OK?" "*" "[Calvin] Hmm?" "That is the weakest Big Bad Wolf I have ever seen." "And you're wearing a cape." "Oh, by the way, I think I can probably move you into Marco's room." "Oh, so I can go from one closeted gay guy to another?" "No thanks." "[clears throat] Can we talk?" "Yeah." "So, I've been thinking about what you said." "And you were right." "I was too concerned about what other people think." "But I'm more concerned about losing you." " You can't have it both ways." " I know." "That's why I was wondering if you would like to dance." "Here?" "Um, there's no one dancing." "So who better to get it started than two hot princes?" "You sure your ready for this?" "Yeah." "[soft music plays]" "* I fell so hard for you *" "* There's nothing that I can do *" "Uh, what are they doing?" "Dancing." " * They say that you *" " With each other?" " * Learn from mistakes *" " They're your brothers." "Get out there and support them." "* But you gave to me *" " Do you want to dance...?" " With girls, yes!" " All right, good." " * No other way *" "* And you *" "* Couldn't stay *" " * Stay for a while * - * Stay for a while *" "* Yeah, ooh *" "Brilliant idea to try to navigate by the stars, Rebecca." "Well, at least I know Orion wears a belt, not a scarf, Rapunzel." "Can we try to be nice to each other?" "At least until we get to the lodge." "No one even knows we're out here." " Unless Casey told Cappie." " I didn't tell Cappie anything, OK?" "And it's probably for the best." "What's that mean?" "You said it yourself, I can't tell him about this." "I have to be realistic." "Something's going on with him and he won't tell me about it." "OK, I need to tell you something." "There's a reason it didn't work out with Fisher." " Uh, he cheated on me again." " What?" "I went to go visit him for New Year's, where I met his family and his friends." "And then..." "I met his other girlfriend." "You deserve so much better." " That son of a bitch." " I'm so sorry, Ash." " I just feel stupid." " We should burn down his house." "[chuckling]" "So I just don't think that I was in the right place to be giving you advice." "Just because Fisher's a jerk doesn't mean that you can't count on Cappie." "But stuff's going to keep coming up." "Hopefully not accidental arson, but things happen in life." "If we can't share things, what are we to each other?" "[rock music plays]" " How long do we have to stay?" " Five minutes." "* Too much love in you, my dear *" "* I would sing you a verse in tears, now *" "Make it ten." " * I see inside, a beating heart *" " Your highness." "I feared you'd been eaten by a dragon." "Or, you know, just gone to Dobler's." "The girls and I had to do something first." "Let's go talk." "* You're scared... *" "Look, I know something's been bugging you and you feel like you can't tell me about it." "I've been a little preoccupied myself and it took your brother, of all people, to make me realize it." "Wade's gone and I was responsible." "I trusted Evan and got screwed." "And I keep pretending that everything's the same, but it's not and that sucks." "But the only thing that makes this OK is that I have you to talk to about it." "So I'm sorry if I seem distant or..." "I burned down the Gamma Psi house!" " What?" " After songfest, we went over there to find Katherine's clipboard but it was dark so Rebecca lit a Jasmine candle and then Hot Fireman confirmed it was us." "But we got away with it until Ashleigh kept the clipboard and you can't put it in your trunk because of Scrubs." "So we buried it and I lost my tiara!" "Oh, my God." " I know." "I know." "I know, I know." "Oh, there, there, my little Firestarter." " It's not funny!" " I'm wearing tights," "I think I know funny." "Look, I know it may seem like the biggest deal in the world right now, but it was an accident." "And someday it'll just be a really good story." "I'm sorry about Wade and the guys." "But you know it's not your fault." "It's Evan's." "And you know the Gamma Psis will be fine." "There's like a hundred bucks in that wishing well." "Well, $99.25." "I had to get quarters for the laundry." " Don't tell anybody." " You stole from the wishing well?" "I'm not the one who burned down their house, little lady." "You know, I thought, when we got back together, everything would somehow become magically... easy." "Happily ever after?" "That is so boring." "This... is much better." "[down-tempo music plays]" "My, what a half-assed costume you have." "The better to ask you to dance with." "Really?" "You know, there's too many Cinderellas out there." " Let's shake things up." " [chuckles]" "* I can take *" "* I'll remember it all *" "* Remember it all *" "* If it's all I can take *" "* I'll remember it all *" "* Remember it all *" "Do you know what I hate most about fairy tales?" "They set up false expectations." "In the originals, Prince Charming didn't always sweep you off your feet." "It's so unreal." "Like love." "The only time that ever works is in the movies." "Yeah, what's so great about Prince Charming anyway?" "I'm gonna write a new fairy tale where the Evil Queen and the Big Bad Wolf come to town, wreak havoc and ride off into the sunset." " Sounds like a classic." " [chuckles]" "* I'll remember it all *" "* Remember it all *" "* If it's all I can take *" "* I'll remember it all *" "* Remember it all *" "Um, I'm gonna go before my Benz turns into a pumpkin." "Later." "* I'll remember it all *" "* If it's all... *" "[door closes]" "I know I'm not supposed to be in Wade's room, but..." "Don't worry about it." "I took things out on you when I should've just listened to Norah Jones and had a good cry." "So, I'm sorry." "Thanks." "What's the box for?" "Well, I thought I'd start getting over it by cleaning out Wade's room." "I don't think you'll need the box." "[indistinct chattering]" "[Cappie] Wow!" "When did you guys do all this?" "[Rusty] We've been working on it all night." "It's been a real bonding experience for the pledge class." "How'd you get them to do it?" "I think seeing me yell at you really made an impression on them." "And slicing off one of their toes, probably." "They got the room done, didn't they?" "Wow, is that Ferret's hair pick?" "[Beaver] Are there any of his hairs on it." " Spitter, can we clone him?" " [man] Nice." "[Cappie] Oh, and Jeremy's eyeliner." "You know, his eyeliner is his legacy." " I wonder what mine will be." " [belches]" " Marbles?" " Excuse me." "Well, that's something to be proud of." "Hey, my stethoscope." " [all] Heath!" " Hey." " What are you doing here?" " Aw, well..." "I was so bummed about the guys getting expelled that I bombed every single one of my finals." "And now, they're not letting me graduate until next semester." "[Beaver] Hmm." " The doctor's in." " [all laughing]" " [man] Sweet!" " [man 2] Yeah." " [yells]" " Ow!" " That's loud." " It's good to see you." "You know, I'm wearing your boxers." "[both chuckling]" "I think that's going to happen, um, quite a bit." "So it's our first day out." "You think it's a little too soon to maybe take a shower together?" " [hums]" " I guess not." "Uh, what's that?" "Well, I think it's a joke." "I don't think it's funny." "[chuckles] Well, welcome to the other side of the closet." " Hey, Evan." " Yeah." "Do you know who did this?" "Tiaras." "That's clever." "It's not clever." "Well, if you want, I can find out who did it." "No." "This is for us to deal with." "If it's not a joke, then you and I will handle it." "Together." "I had to tell them the meeting was over." "The pledges can't get enough of me!" "That's great." "I'm glad I was able to help, man." "You know, it's like I tell my interns, when you've been blessed with innate leadership skills, it's your duty to share them." "[answering machine beeps] [man] Hello, this is the Gary Wyatt Foundation calling." "After weeks of careful consideration, we have the final results from the Innovation in Engineering Grant Competition." " They have an answer already?" " Rus, I want you to know," "I'm going to take you with me all the way to the top." "[man] We'd like to congratulate Russell Cartwright on being this year's" "Innovation in Engineering Grant recipient." "Dale... [clears throat]" "Well done, Rusty." "Looks like you really dazzled them after all." "Excuse me." "Yes!"