"I don't think you want to go into that part of town, not alone." "I'll go with you, Joe, if you want." " What do you think?" " Sounds good." " Yeah, for real?" " Very natural." "I think I'm gonna get this one." "You know, I feel like it was written for me." "With Eddie Burns producing..." "The guy knows me from back in the day." "Sure that's a good thing?" "Don't listen, Johnny, I love the positivity." " Thanks, Vince." " You do sound good, Drama." "But don't count on Eddie Burns knowing you." "Focus." "You're right." "Focused." "Like a laser." "No." "No." "OK, sorry." "Ari Gold's office." "No..." "Can I ask you to hold, please?" "What's up?" "You look like hell." "The phones are ringing." "Everyone knows you took the new space." " They're asking if we're a new major." " Terence signed the papers." " Deny, deny, deny." "It'll all be over soon." " You know I don't like to lie." "Lloyd, be a man." "Or as much of a man as you can possibly be for God's fuckin' sakes." "Now what's up this morning?" " Vince and the boys are on their way." " It's gonna be a good day." "I can feel it." "Ari Gold's office." "No, I haven't heard anything about that." "I'll be here." " You gonna make me hang alone?" " Sorry, bro." "Audition's at 3:00." " I'm a laser." " You're a retard, but OK." "No, that is so not true." "So not true!" "You guys can go right in." "Ari Gold's office, please hold." "I'll be out here all alone." "You having a telethon?" "Raising cash for subordinates of movie stars who can't fend for themselves." "What's the big surprise, Ari?" " Getting right to it, huh?" " Last time you surprised me, I was fired." "Naturally I'm anxious." "Remember Queens Boulevard, that was supposed to be released on six screens, for NYU students on a Friday night?" "The studio has decided to push the release." " Why?" " What the fuck?" "Because they want to release it wide on 1,200 motherfuckin' screens!" "E's lucky pick has been testing through the roof" " and with the success of Aquaman..." " Two for two!" "The Hollywood Foreign Press wants to sit down, discuss everything QB, wanna have a press conference this afternoon." "Give me a little less notice!" "When the Hollywood Foreign Press calls, you run." "Will you be there?" " I'll be there." " Do something for me." "Will you smile?" "Will you look happy and cooperative?" "What does cooperative look like?" "Vin, we need this." "We want people to forget that you just got fired." "Will you smile?" "Hey, Eddie." "It's great to see you too." "Me?" "Thanks, yeah, things are great, just great." "Life is just so amazing, isn't it?" "What the hell?" "Maybe you didn't notice, but I was sitting in the car." "I noticed." "You didn't notice the meter needed feeding." "What, no heads-up?" "No tap on the window?" "Sorry, pal." "The meter's red, the car is dead." "Civil servant?" "What is civil about not giving a warning?" "It's anti-American." " I think that's in the Bill of Rights." " This isn't Communist Russia." "Communist Russia isn't Communist Russia any more." " You wanna fuckin' start?" " Johnny, relax, I'll pay for the ticket." "That's not the point, it's the principle." "A guy should be able to sit in his car on a public street without being unjustly harassed." " What are you doing?" " Fighting for my rights." "I'm gonna go down and make that guy's day a living hell." "I thought you were a laser." " This won't affect me." " Forget him." "You're nervous." "You get uptight when you have something big." "You can get this if you stay focused." " You're right." " Right?" "Yeah." "You're right, bro." "Thanks." "Turtle, let's get a cup of coffee, head west so I'm not late." "Thanks!" " You betcha." " Hey, good luck." "Thanks, E." " See how calming I can be?" " Yeah, very impressive." " What should we do?" " Call Walsh, celebrate." " Really?" " He'll be happy to hear from you." "Hillbilly Willy is coming on as he passes Marshal Tito..." "Hillbilly Willy is starting to come on..." "Suit!" "What a pleasant fucking surprise." " How you doing, Billy?" " I'm awful." "This will make you feel better." "Queens Boulevard is opening on 1,200 screens." " Willy is closing fast..." " Yes!" "Run!" "Run, you fucking slag!" "Come on!" "Hello?" " It's Hillbilly by a nose!" " Fuck!" "What a finishing kick on that horse!" "Fucking fillies, Suit." "Never count on a broad." "Did you hear me, Billy?" "1,200 screens." "Yeah, I fuckin' heard ya and I already know." "Why do you think I'm blowing all my money on booze and ponies?" "I'm depressed." "Billy, this is good news." "No, it ain't." "And it ain't gonna happen either." "I'm slapping those fucks with an injunction to make sure that film never sees the light of day." "He's trying to kill the release of the movie." " What?" "Why?" " Why?" "Because I'm not gonna let those douchebags Aquaman-ify my movie." "Where are you?" "We're gonna come see you." "Meet me at my girl's." "I gotta tell her I lost the rent money again." "It's not true, Shauna!" "Tell Variety they can suck my balls, but clean it up." "You Indian now, Lloyd?" "Jesus, you can see this?" "This lying is making me break out." "God, and I have a date tonight!" "I'm sure your date will pop that with his pecker." " Tell me why you came in or get out." " Barbara Miller's on three." "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck." "Out!" "I don't want to hear your bitch-ass whiny voice again." "Do you understand?" "Go, go, go!" " Babs, what are you wearin'?" " We need to have lunch, Ari." "The word is out." "You mean that shit about you getting lipo?" "Dr Dessler's like a fucking Picasso with that knife." "I'm coming to you as a friend." "People are mobilising against you and you need to know." "Now do you want a Caesar fucking salad or not?" "Let me call you back, Barbara." "Speak, Lloyd." "You're not talking?" ""Rob Rubino's in the conference room."" " Terence fucking fired him?" " I did not say the "F" word." "My..." "I... we..." "I don't have the sk... the skill set..." "I can't understand your whimpering." "Why did Terence fire you?" " He knows." " What does he know?" "They saw your name on my call sheet." " Fuck." " They escorted me out of the building." "Then they gave everybody employment contracts and they had to sign them by 5:00pm saying they wouldn't work for you." " What should I do?" " I don't know!" "But just stop fucking crying so I can think, OK?" "Call Barbara, tell her I'll go to lunch." "You know, Eddie Burns offered me Brothers McMullen." "True story." "But I took a TV show instead." "Was that when you did your full-frontal Red Shoe Diary?" "No, that's when I did my three-episode arc on 90210, sexually harassing Tori Spelling." "Nice choice." " This can't be the right address." " Look, there he is." "What is this, your house?" "No, I'm house-sitting for my girl's folks." "They made a fortune off ginseng and kombucha drinks." "They won't let her see a dime of it." "I'm praying they die before they raise the estate tax." " How are you, Vince?" " Good, you?" " What happened to Queens Boulevard?" " They butchered her." " They changed it?" " They murdered her." "You wanna see the body?" "Take care of yourself." "Hey, you ever coming back?" "You kidding?" "I am Queens Boulevard." "Insane, ain't it?" "Looks like Willy Wonka's factory." "You see why I have to do what I have to do." "How could they ruin a great movie?" "They're fucking animals and they need to be put to sleep." "Sign the injunction and they'll know we ain't fucking around." " What do you think, E?" " We should call Ari." "One suit, two suit, three suit, four!" "Billy, I'm with you, all right?" "But we have to talk to somebody before we sign an injunction." "Can't afford to be pissing off another studio right now." " Pussy." " Asshole." "All right, guys, chill." "Call Ari." "So who's picking up the tab on this little chow-down?" "Relax, Ari, my treat." "Greetings, Ari." "I knew you liked dick, Babs." "I didn't know you were a cocksucker." "Please, join us." "It's like a meeting of the five families." "I shoulda had a gun taped up in the bathroom stall." "Look, all the majors are here " "CAA, UTA, ICM, Endeavor, William Morris." "Who the fuck invited APA?" " There it is." " There's no spots." "Pull up in the red, I'll go grab one." "All right." "Cafe latte, 4.50." "Well, actually, I'm on my 10th purchase, paid for the last nine, so you'll be paying for that, bad boy." "I won't, because we don't take those any more." "What do you mean?" "Too many people were counterfeiting 'em, so we stopped." "Unfortunately, the only form of currency I have is that card, so accept that card or you're gonna have to eat that drink." "I'm not gonna eat anything." "Anybody ordering a cafe latte?" " Right here." " Hey, wait, hold on." "That... that's my drink." "Get me the manager." "Well, tell Ari when you find him" " he needs to call me back." " I will indeed." " Ari's MIA." " What the fuck is he so busy with?" "Press conference is in three hours." "We can't do nothing." " Attaboy, Vince." " Well, fuck Ari!" "Fuck this injunction." "We'll handle this." " What do you have in mind?" " I got Jamie Burke's number." "Don't waste your minutes." "I already called." "They ain't seeing nobody." "If they want to do another movie with Vince, they'll see us." "I like your newfound balls, Suit." "My rapper's signing a big deal this month, but I still have time to handle Vince as well." "Shit." "Excuse me." "Can you leave your number on the windshield?" " I'm afraid I have to ask you to leave." " And I'm afraid I have to say no." "I ain't going anywhere till I get my free cup of coffee!" "Jesus Christ, Drama!" "What the fuck?" "They discontinued my free coffee card." "Listen, pal, I'll buy you the lousy $3 cup of coffee." " You want to get involved, dickhead?" " Drama, Drama, come on!" "You don't need any more coffee." "You're wired up enough." "You only got 15 minutes to get to Ed Burns." "Fuck it." "Fuck all of you!" "I'm gonna go get me a pilot!" "But I will be back and you will give me a free cup of coffee." "Oh, fuck, the car!" "Come back here!" "Turtle, call a cab!" "Come on, Ari, you really think we haven't been watching you?" " I don't know." "Have you?" " Yes." "We know what you've been up to." " What?" " Why don't you tell us?" "Why should I if you already know?" "All right, this is getting us nowhere here." "Let me just say this." "I've known you for 20 years." " Yeah." " I always knew that you were a smug little rat with grand aspirations." "That's why it was such a shock to see you sitting in that little boutique agency of yours for the last nine months." "But I guess" " I've seen this before - it's all a ruse in your master plan." "Master plan?" "Look, Ari, simply put, we're here to assure you that the eight of us who represent the power in this town, are lined up to say that if you go near one of our clients or one of our agents" "or even one of our highly prized mailroom boys, we will all come down on you with the wrath of 10,000 suns." "You know what's interesting about that... is that you used the words "master plan" and "rat"" "when talking about me, you Hitler-loving, anti-Semitic cuntbag." "I can only hope that 50% of the power at this table is as offended as I am." "Ari!" "Is it true?" "Come on." "Yes or no." "You got me." "I'm setting up my own shop." "Thank you, thank you." "Ari Gold is back." "But I assure you, and I swear this on my children's names," "I have no intention of going after any of your clients or your agents." " Only his." " Really, Ari?" "Really, Terence." " With whose money will you fund this?" " Yours, you cockney fuck." " You signed the settlement papers." " Yes." "But I didn't sign any cheques and I won't." "Ari, I'll happily spend 50 million over the next ten years to make sure that you don't even get a dime today." "Call everyone on that list." "Emergency Hamlet session, now!" "Ari, Vince and E called twice." " They do not seem happy." " I will call them back." "Did you not fucking hear me?" "This is an emergency!" " Well, who's going to man the phones?" " Fuck the phones, Lloyd!" "Unless Carmen Electra calls for an emergency titty fuck, don't answer!" "82% excellent." "That's pretty good." "It's more than that." "That's Greek Wedding good." "What these test scores tell us is that black-and-white is depressing." "People want colour." "Why have those eyes if people can't see 'em?" "They might as well be brown." "I didn't make this movie to show off my eye colouring." "Vince, you not only look great in the movie, you are... great in the movie." "And with this version we will attract a much broader audience." "Isn't that what making movies is about?" "Well, actually, it's an art film." "You know it's good if people hate it." "I'm sorry, but we are not in the business of having people hate our movies." "Guys, I love your passion, but trust me, there's nothing unartistic about making money." "You're driving like a snail." " I could run faster than this." " All right, we're here." "Go get 'em." " I'm 20 minutes late." " So run!" "All right!" "Great news." "The Gold Standard Agency is starting its expansion ahead of schedule." "Instead of September 1st, we are going to be starting today." " Yeah!" " All right!" "Slight problem, though." "You won't get paid for six months." "What?" "The first year at Google they paid their staff with paper clips." "Now the guy that scrubbed the toilets has got a billion five." "Who's with me?" "Come on, anybody?" " I'm with you, Ari." " Like you've got a fucking choice." " Anybody else?" " This is bullshit, Ari." " You cannot be serious." " You told us..." "We had papers put in front of us today." " Come on, everybody." " I have a choice." "A little bit of patience, you guys, please." "Come on, you gotta..." "Babs, the Traitorous Skanks Anonymous meeting's next door." "Let's talk." "I can't believe you set me up after all I've done." "I needed to see your cards." " You've seen 'em." " How much do you need?" " What?" " Come on, I want to be partners." " Why?" " I believe in you." "And I can't work with my ex-husband." "This is my deal." "Ari, you have no money and I have too much." " So what do you want?" " To fuck." "Kidding." "I want 60% and my name on top." " I'd rather fuck." " 55." " 45." " 51." "49." "Ladies and gentlemen..." "I present to you," "Miller Gold!" "We sound like a fuckin' beer." "This was the one, Turtle." "I'm officially a loser." "I don't know about "officially"." "What do you want me to say?" "You gotta get the temper under control." " You gotta know that." " I do." "I was thinking about taking that anger management thing" " the judge recommended last year." " You should." " Hello?" " Johnny Drama, Eddie Burns." " Eddie?" " Yeah, look." "I've been trying to get your number but nobody's picking up the phone at your agency." " Really?" " I'm sorry I had to bail on you today." "I got an emergency and I'm off to New York." " So you weren't at your office?" " No." "Christ, I was standing out there for like an hour." "I'm sorry, but I want to talk to you about this thing I'm shooting." "Look, Eddie, I know I can do this." "I know you can do it too, Drama." "I just wanted to see you today to make sure you hadn't aged too badly." "Aged?" "Me?" "Come on!" "I got carded at Barney's Beanery Thursday night." "OK, Drama." "So you'll do this?" "Are you offering this to me?" "I don't have to audition?" "You did something for me when you passed on Brothers McMullen." " I didn't pass." " Drama, come on." "You passed to do a little arc on 90210, it's cool." "I ended up having to put myself in the movie, changed my whole life." " Awesome." " So I'll see you on set." "OK, thanks." "I just got a pilot." "Victory!" "And anger management?" "Fuck anger management." "After seeing a cut of the film, we fell in love with it." "From the moment the end credits rolled, it was obvious to me..." " Did you get it, Johnny?" " Yep." " It's easier than I thought." " Congratulations." "Thanks, bro." " There you are, Vincent." " Jesus, I thought you abandoned me." "I came as fast as I could." " They're about to introduce you." " Right." "Look, I love you." "Don't worry, I think I got this handled." " You cool with this?" " Do what you gotta do." "What's he gotta do?" " You'll see." " Oh, great." "...a great young talent like Vincent Chase." "These motherfuckin' pieces of shit." "I'm gonna fuckin' hit somebody, there's no fuckin' doubt in my mind." " Go lightly, Billy." "Life is short." " Go fuck your mother, Drama." " Where you been?" " What, is there a problem?" "The house is packed, our boy is looking great." "You know Barbara, right?" "Each camera represents a million dollars overseas." " I don't think so, Ari." " Oh, yeah?" "Why not?" " Ladies and gentlemen..." " Speak." "...to introduce to you now the star of Queens Boulevard," "Mr Vincent Chase." "Thank you." "Queens Boulevard is a masterpiece." "And I'm not just saying that because I'm in it or to sell you." "I'm saying it because I really truly believe it." "Unfortunately, you'll never see the film I'm talking about, because these people up here, these execs, ripped out its soul." "Because like all studios in this town they don't give a shit about art." "They only care about one thing - money." "Fuck commerce!" "Any questions?" "Yes." "Great start to the new company." "English"