"When I entered the ninth grade at Corleone, even though I was still in junior high building, it was thnically myirst yeaof high school." "Some things remained the same." "Welcome back, Jungle Love." "And some things changed tally." "Naly, everything I d from then on would affect my future." "At the end of the eighth grade, every student had to take the Grade 8 Proficiency Assessme test." "The G.E.P., or GEPA, assesses your prress andaddresses any changes you might need in your curricum." "So we're not getting a grade on this?" "Chnicall no." "That's technically great 'cause I technically didn't study." "So didou get your test scores back yet?" "Not yet, but I'm not worried abt it, though." "Ey said the test dsn't count tords yourrade, so what fference doest make?" "A lo" "Chris, after looking at your test rests, I'm very concerned." "I'd been getting my ass whooped for two years andnowshe's concerned?" "What are you concerned about?" "You did horribly on your test." "With that on your reco, it could siously harm your chances of going to college, even if you get a basketball scholarship." "Is she crazy?" "The's no grades they won't take if you can play basketball." "I thought the test didn't count." "Chris, everything counts." "You ould knothat." "I would expect Gre to get suckered in by someone saying that but with all your street smarts, you should know better than that." "I'm sure with all e careers available with." "Ir care companies and dance show hosting, it's hard to decide, but you're going to have to apply yourself, even for that." "Hair care companies and dance show hosting?" "My point is:" "To help you get off on the good foot," "I've made an appointment for you to see the new guidance counselor." "Guidance counselor?" "All I knew about guidance counselors was that you usually went to see them because there was something wrong with you" "So you're Chris." "Yes, sir." "I'm Mr. Bott, your guidance counselor." "Having problems, huh?" "Yeah, my teacher says I need some help figuring out what I want too with my future." "You can say that again." "What do you mean?" "Chris, what do you want to do when you get out of school?" "I don't know." "You know, you got about as much direction as a broken compass." "I'm surprised you we even able to finyour wayo this office." "According to this test, you put the "upid" in "stupid."" "The y I see it, you're about." "Two bad decisions away from a life of crime." "I dot know anything about crime." "Make that one bad decision." "Can you help me?" "Well, unless they hi Big Bird, I'm going to have to." "EHC Season 3 Episode 1" "**" "Looking at my grades, you'd think I couldn count." "How did you even make it into ninth grade?" "I mean, they should have picked up on this years ago." "How many did I get wrong?" "It's a skills assessment test, Chris, and basically what it says is at you don't have thpropensity for any skill." "Propensity?" "I got propensity." "Do you even know what "propensi" means?" "No." "Okay, maybe it's not that bad." "I'm going to have to help you." "That's my job." "I'm the "guidance" couelor." "But I'm going to have toun some more tests." "More tests?" "What are these tests for?" "Well, I'm going to have to build a psychological profile." "You're giving me a crazy test?" "No, it's not a crazy test." "It's to see if you're good at anything." "One queson." "Arethesetests important?" "Well, unless you want to start taking a little bus to school, they're very iortant." "I'll see you tomorrow" "While the guidance counselor worked on a plan for my future, my fatr had a plan for my present." "Hey, baby, what you doing?" "You wante to go get the kids' new school clothes, righ" "Well, not unless you want me to take off of work do it." "No, that'skay, t before go buying new stuff," "I wa to get rid of the old stuff first." "So I've got two piles:" "Chris' stuff that I'm getting rid of and Drew's stuff that I'm giving to Chri" "That's right there." "I'm sure gd Drew wasn't a girl." "So you're buying something for Drew and Tonya and not Chris?" "You want him working on his Ph.D. In hand-me-downs?" "Drew barely wears something before he grows out of it." "I mean, his stuff is almost new." "Chris will be fine." "My father was working his scheme and the next day I was getting worked over." "What wre going to do is the word association test." "I'm going to say a word and I want you to say the first thing that comes to mind." "Brain." "Excuse me?" "Brain." "Y said "md" and I said "brain."" "Yeah, but we haven't even started y." "Oh, sorry." "Okay, let's start." " School." " School." " Teacher." " Teher." "Okay, I-I don't think you understand this." "I" " I don't need you to repeat what I say." "I need you to say the first thing that comes to mind." "But what you sayisthe first thing that comes to my mind." "Well, I need you to say the next thing that comes to mind." "So the second thing?" "If the second thing that comes to mind is the thing that works in your mind, then let's do that thing." "Okay, let's start." " Father." " Tired." " Mother." " Bald." "Excuse me?" "Sorry." "I was still on "father."" "Thank God." "I thought you had a bald mother." "Okay, I'm going to make it a little simpler for you." "Slow." "Fast." "Dumb." "Sucker." "Punk." "Chump." "Idiot." "Fool." "Who?" "You." "What?" "Chicken-butt." "Put it in a cup." "Go around the corner and lick it up." "Oh, wait minute." "Aftegoing to the guidance unselor," "I really started to think abouwhat I was going to do with my life." "Hey, Dad, how'd you decide what you were gonna do for a living?" "I applied for a bunch of jobs and I took every one that hired me." "And he would have kept theall if he could have." "Well, you won't have to do that, baby." "You're goingo college." "You'll be ab to do anything you want." "Like get outf high school?" "Am I going to college, too?" "Yeah, you can be profess of ugly-ocity." "Shut up." "Ll, whatever you do, make sure you like it, 'cause once you have a family, that's what you're gonna be doing r the rest of your life." "You make it sound so bad." "So, Mom, how did you decide what you were going to be?" "Wellwhen your father decided that he wa't going to be richI decided to get a job." "I didn't decide I wasn't going to be rich." "I didn't go to college." "I drive a truck 'cause that's what I know how to do." "So you're saying you don't likeour life?" "I didn't say that." "You know what, Julius?" "Do you think you are the only one that had a dream?" "Here we go." "You kn what, kids?" "I haa dream." "Every time I see Shirley Chislm, I think," ""Wow, hey, that could have been me."" "Yeah, I could have done a loof thing" "I could have won a Pulier Prize." "If she oy learned how to Pitzer." "I could have been a Poet Laureate." "That don't rhyme." "You know what?" "I even cod have won a Cy YounAward." "If she cld only throw a knuceball." "But instd I decid to raise your family." "My family?" "Now it's my family." "That's right." "Your family." "And what thanks do I get?" "Whatever you want to d Chris, just maksure you like it." "That's whahe said to you." "I didn'tean it like that." "You know what, Julius?" "I don't want to make you any more unhappy than you already are." "If he wasn't happy before, it ain't changing no time soon." "My dad didn't go to college and neither did my mother, so I tried to find out if I knew anybody whdid." "Hey, Manny, diyou ever go to colle?" "Always wanted, buI found out I couldn't." "Why not?" "I had this thing called "extenuating circumstances."" "Like what?" "I never finished high school." "So I got a job here and when Manny died, I took over." "Wait, you hathe same name as the owner?" "No, no, my name was Lester." "But I had to make a oice:" "Change the sign or change my name." "And at sign was expensive." "Hey, Kill Moves, what did you want to do?" "I'm doing it." "And if you study real hard, you, too, could be Psident of the United States of America." "Or crazy as he." "Hey, Mr. Abbott." "How's it going, Chris?" "Well, I talked to a few people and I still don't know what I want to door a living, but I do know that my mom wants me to go to colle." "College?" "W-Why?" "To learn?" "Learn?" "You can learn anywhere, Chris." "You can learn by reading a fortune cookie." "If you get hit by a truck, you learn not to walk out into traic." "If you smack Mike Tyson, you learn that you are going to get your ass whooped." "But your parents are way too broke for yoto go to college to just learn." "They need you to go to college and learn how to get a job." "Besides, I think it's a little o early for you to be thinking about college right now." "And whis that?" "Well, according to your test results, you have a lot of potential, but it's just ing to take time to develop." "So what do we do now?" "I'm recommending that you take remedial asses." "Remedial class?" "Remedial class." "I can't go tremedial class." "You're going to go." "How am I supposed to tell my mama I'm going to remedial class?" "I'll write a note." "So how'd it go withhe guidance counselor?" "He wantso put me in remedial class." "What?" "How did that happen?" "Well, remember that test we took?" "The one ey said didn't matr?" "Right." "It mattered." "The only thing worse an getting put out of school was the thoughof being put in remedial class." "Come on, Chris!" "I guess it was a little bit more serious than I thought." "I got to see that guy, too." "What for?" "I don't know." "Well, at least I live too far away from school to ride the short bus." "Actually, you don't." "City regulations allow for special nes students pickups throughout all school districts." "Thanks." "What's all this?" "The kids' new school clothes." "The Salvation Marines?" "You went shopping at the thrift store?" "My father loved thrift stores 'cause you could trade in your old clothes." "For some w old clothes." "My kids are not wearing somedy else's old clothes." "I mean, these pants could've belonged to anybody." "You act like the pants are rsed." "Face forwa." "That's him, officer." " Aryou sure?" " I know it's him." "He's wearing those pants." "Look, I can't afford to buy all new school clothes." "I guess that's one more thing you can't std about your miserable life." "My kids are not wearing these, so you either get new clothes or newids." "He's trying to figure out which one is cheaper." "While my mother was throwing clothes in the box," "Greg was thinking outside the box." "You did unbelievable on this test." "There's a lot of things you could do when you get out of college." "At first, I was thinking I could start up an investment banking firm, or mayberanchise a coffee store." ""Fnchise a coffee ste"?" "That is the dumbest idea I've ever heard in my life." "A store that sells nothing but coffee?" "Well what you going to open up next?" "A place that sells nothing but staple" "Oh, what's after that?" "A place that sells everything for 99 cents?" "You smell anything?" "Well, see that'shat was gointo tell you." "I settled on beingn astronaut." "I'm-I'm wearing a diap." "A dier?" "You mean, you want to fly a rocket, but you're still gonna pee in your nts?" "Well, they don't me you do it but I wanted to see if I could take it." "Nobodyould takit, Greg." "Now, et the funk t of my office." "Mr. Abbott?" "Chris." "Can I help you?" "I'm not going to remedial clas" "Chs, I'm just trying to do what's best for you." "If Iould've known the test was that imrtant, I could've donbetter." "If you could've ne bette you would've de better" "Then let me take the test again." "It wouldn't even matter, Chris." "It's already on your permanent record." "So you're tellinme that even though I've beepassing classes for the past two years," "I do bad on one test, and it's over?" "Hey, I don't make the rules." "I just folw them." "Why?" "Hey, heyhey, don't get mad at me, hort bus" "You're the one that didn't take this test serious." "It's a test." "Wh did you think s gonna happen?" "You kn what they do to fd bere they give it to people?" "They test." "They don't even give people per towels without testing it first." "How do you think they know that Bounty is the icker pier-upper?" "They test it, and you know what ppens to all the otheraper towels that couldn'sop up t grease?" "They faiand get sent back." "Well, maybe if they would've told the paper towel that he needo sop up therease to get to the store, he would've done bette" "What are you talking about?" "I don't know." "U started it." "Okayyou want some help?" "Yeah." "Let's go f a ride." "What does this have to do with me ing to college?" "If you don't knowhat you want to with your life, it's all going to be a big waste of time and ney." "You know how many broke people wt to colge?" "Not rely." "Laes and gentlemen, this young man here thinks that a you have to do in life is go to college and you'll be ccessful." "By a show of hands, how many of you went to college?" "We're on the wrong bus." "Now by a show of hands, how ma of you people went to college?" "We're on the right bus." "Now another show of hands, how many of you peopleight now wishou had that money to pay some bills?" "Thank you." "So what do I do?" "Well, I can't tell you tt." "But I'll tell you this, you can't go to colle just because youparents will get mad if yodon't." "When you get out of high school, take some time to figurehings out." "Get a job, travel." "Go find yourself." "Hey, kid, you need a ride?" "Can I get on without a helmet?" "Come on." "Good-bye, st." "Hello, uture." "***counselor where he could go." "Still wearing that diaper, huh?" "After a while, you don't notice." "Right." "So what are you doing out here?" "My mom wast happy with the guidance counselor's guidance." "I know how she feels." "The guy basically told me I can do anythinI want." "That's pressure." "It's like, even if I wanted to fail, I couldn't." "That was the moment I realized what itruly meant to bwhite." "Must btough." "I'm sorr but it's all right there in the test." "Tests, tests... you keep talking about tests." "I'm here to talk about my son." "I mean, what does a test prove anyway?" "Charles Manson passed some tests." "I'm not saying there's ything wrong with your son." "Well, m saying that there's something wrong with you." "You're supposed be a guidance counselor." "Guide." "I dithe best I could." "No, you didn't." "O find yourself."" "What is that?" "I'm not trying to hold your son back." "But going to college without knowing at you want to study is kind of like going to a grocery store withouknowing what you want to eat." "And telling a boy to figure out what he wants to do by telling him to do nothing is like tellinhim to learn how to swim by drowning." "What are you talking about?" "I don't know, but you started it." "Thanks for coming." "You're more than welcome." "Nice meeting you." "Pleasure." "Anays, I can't wait for this interview to be over, so I can put more baby powder on." "I know you want what's bet for your son, but I think he's going to be okay." "Thank you very much." "What the hell is thasmell?" "Greg, is that you, boy?" "I'm studying to be an astronaut." "Well, even astronauts wash their." "Come on, Ma." "My God!" "Nope, nope, nope." "Get out of he, Funkyrewster." "Every day of my life, my mother threatened to knock the lobes off my ears or slap the pores off my face, but if anybo else ever put me down she was always the to pick me back up." "Ok, Chri I don'tnow what you're going to do wi your life." "You may go to college, u may not." "But I know whatever you do, you're going to good att." "'Cause I a't having no grown man sleeping in my house." "Yes, a'am." "So, how'd things go?" "Did you figure o what you want to do?" "Not really, but I'll be all right." "If I can't figure out wh I wa to do, at least I can be a guidance counselo" "I mean, all u do is ask peoe questions that you don't even know the answer to, and you tell them to take a hike." "I me, I may not be the smartest person in the world, but I think m smart enough to do that." "Is that I you thk I do?" "Even in a aper, Gregould run like the wind." "The smel wind." "Am I wrong?" "Listen her short bus, I work for the school." "I deal with the sts, oka You know, when I was your age," "I took these teststoo, and I did great." "Do you think I thought I was going to just be a guidance counselor?" "What did you want to do?" "What I wanted to do required brave." "Dedication, commitment." "I wanted to serve the people." "So you wanted to be a Mane?" "Not exactly." "Anyway, it's not too late for me, and it's not too late for you." "Good luck." "Y, Ma, ce look!" "Aren't these jeans cool?" "Baby, ose are adorable." "Hey, Chris." "So how'd it at school today?" "Fine." "Fine." "Daddy let us pick out our own clots." "Well, hopefully you picked out somethinyou liked." "I mean, heaven forbid u wake uone day and realize you can't stand." "Rochelle, stop it." "Okay, just stop it." "What?" "What are you talking about?" "Rochelle, the reason I said those things to Chris is because nobody said those things to me." "You're the bt thing that ever happened to me." "And, yeah, Iean, I don't get a lot of sleep, and I don't make aot of money, but I'veot you." "I've g my kids, and that's all I need." "At that moment, I didn't have any idea what I wanted to do, but what I wanted to b was just like my father." "Where the he you get that, from the inside of a card?" "Abo Bryson song." "That's how I feel." "Then why didn't you just say that?" "I st said." "Why didn't you say it in the first place?" "Hey, Chris, I got you somethg." "AiJordans?" "These cost a fortune." "Oh, not these." "Let's just say I t a deal" "Even though I wasn't se what I was going to do with my life," "I knew one thing for sure:" "My mother and father were always going to look out for me." "The only feeli better than that was having a brand-new pair of shoes." "That's h!" " Are you sure?" " I'm positive!" "He's wearing those shoes." "Daddy!"