"Oh, Lucy, isn't this exciting?" "In a little while we'll land in Cuba and you'll meet Ricky's family." "Well, to tell you the truth, Ethel, I'm scared." "Scared?" "Well, weren't you when you met Fred's family for the first time?" "After marrying Fred, nothing could scare me." "Oh, I sure hope they like me." "Honey, they'll love you." "What if they don't?" "Well, so they don't." "What are they going to do start another Spanish-American war?" "Honey, stop worrying." "They'll love you." "Oh, just think... you'll be visiting your relatives in a foreign land." "Sometimes I wish I'd married a Cuban." "That makes two of us." "Oh, go back to sleep." "Ricky, what are you going to say when you meet your grandmother?" "Buenos dias, abuela." "Very good, very good." "What are you going to say, Mommy?" "What, dear?" "What are you going to say when you meet my mother?" "Oh, um..." "Bonus dies, madry." "Bonus dies, madry?" "Honey, it's buenos dias, madre." "I don't think that's very nice, making fun of my Spanish." "Well, you've been making fun of my English for 15 years." "Well, English is a foreign language to me." "Well, the way you speak it it is to me, too." "I don't know why you're so worried." "After all, Ricky's mother loved you when she visited you in New York." "Well, I'm not worried about his mother." "It's all those other relatives-- his aunts, his uncles, his nieces, his cousins, his great uncles, his great aunts." "Oh, now, honey, a big family's nice." "You don't know how big his family is." "Let's see." "There's Uncle Pedro, and Aunt Rosa, and Uncle, uh..." "Rafael." "Rafael and Aunt Sylvia and Aunt..." "Maria Pepa." "Maria Pepa." "Uncle Jorge." "That's Uncle George." "Nandine, Manuel, Amberta..." "Guillermito Menendez." "Who?" "That's another uncle." "Guillermito Menendez." "That's another one." "Amparo..." "Amparo." "Eduardo." "Eduardo." "He's the judge." "The twins." "The twins." "If you ask me you did not leave the island of Cuba voluntarily." "You were squeezed off." "Now look, honey, I told you that the only one that you got to worry about-- and remember, the only one that is really important is Uncle Alberto." "Yeah, Uncle Alberto." "He's the head of the family." "I remember that." "That's right." "He practically raised me." "You make a good impression on him and you're in." "Well, I shall certainly try, you know that." "Now, I just want to warn you; it's not going to be easy." "Uncle Alberto's the one that wanted me to marry a Cu..." "What were you saying, dear?" "Oh, uh..." "I-I was saying that Uncle Alberto is the one that wanted me to marry a cute, red-headed American." "You were not." "You were saying that Uncle Alberto was the one who wanted you to marry a Cuban girl." "I didn't say anything of the kind." "But you were going to say it." "How do you know?" "I might not be able to understand what you say when you say it, but before you say it" "I can understand what you're going to say perfectly." "No wonder Uncle Alberto wanted me to marry a Cuban girl." "So, you admit it." "But I didn't marry a Cuban girl." "I married you." "Daddy, I'm glad you married Mommy." "Well, you and me both, partner." "And I'll bet that Uncle Alberto will be glad, too, when he meets you." "Oh, I hope so, dear." "Sure." "Our clipper will be landing in Havana in 15 minutes." "Oh, dear, do we have to?" "Honey?" "Yes, dear?" "Honey, did we have to have this family reunion our first night in Havana?" "Couldn't you have made it some other night?" "Well, honey, you know that we're only going to be in Havana two nights." "And tomorrow night, they've asked me to appear at the Casino Parisien here at the Nationale." "So, what other night is there?" "Well, I was thinking about some night next year maybe." "Now, honey, you'll get along just fine." "Oh, I wish Fred and Ethel were going to be here." "Well, you know, we invited them, but they felt it was a family reunion;" "they didn't want to barge in." "Well, I feel the same way." "I think I'll join Fred and Ethel." "Now, Lucy, come back here." "Daddy, when is abuela going to get here?" "In a few minutes, son." "Who?" "Abuela." "It means grandma." "Oh." "I'm so nervous I can't remember my own name." "It's Mommy." "Thank you very much." "Oh, they're not going to understand me." "I'm not going to be able to understand them." "Now look, honey, they speak a few words of English." "You speak a few words of Spanish..." "Oh, I've forgotten my Spanish." "Well, you took it in high school, didn't you?" "Don't you remember anything?" "I remember I flunked." "Well, look, all you have to remember is just a few words." "If I help you, maybe it'll all come back to you." "All right." "Say hello." "Hello." "No, in Spanish." "How you gonna greet them when they get here?" "Oh." "Uh, bonus dies." "No, no." "No, dear, it's not quite that." "It's not bonus dies." "It's buenos dias." "Oh." "Bonus dias." "Buenos dias." "Buenos dias." "That's it." "Oh, but you can't use it now anyway because it's night outside." "You've got to say noches." "Noches." "Buenas noches." "Buenas noches." "That's right." "Good." "Now, how are you?" "Fine." "I'm a little nervous." "Honey, in Spanish-- how are you?" "Oh, how are you?" "How are you?" "Now, don't tell me." "?" "Como esta usted?" "Hey, I could have used you in high school." "?" "Como esta usted?" "?" "Como esta usted?" "Please" " Por favor." "Por favor." "Thank you" " Gracias." "Gracias." "Thank you very much" "Muchas gracias." "Muchas gracias." "There you go." "Now, listen..." "Oh, por favor, adios..." "Yeah, well, listen, honey, just make sure that you muchas gracias" "Uncle Alberto all over the place." "He likes that." "Stand up." "Come on, son." "Fix his coat." "Coming." "Mama!" "Mi hijo!" "Que gusto tengo de verte." "Mira a Lucy." "Hi, Mama." "Lucita, dejame verte." "Thank you." "Look!" "Look at your grandson!" "Buenos noches, abuela." "Buenos noches, hijito." "Aqui, aqui vengan todos." "?" "Como esta?" "Hi, how are you?" "I want you to meet my family." "Pepe, Enrique, Rafael, Josefina," "Alberta y Sylvia." "This is my wife, Lucy." "Bonus noches." "What did they say?" "What'd they say?" "They say they're very glad to meet you and that they like you very much." "Good." "And this is my son." "This is Ricky." "Buenas noches." "Uncle Alberto!" "?" "Como estas?" "Hay esta." "Este era para ti y ahora es para el." "Ah..." "Thank you." "Uncle Alberto, I want you to meet Ricky." "Buenos noches, Uncle Alberto." "How about that?" "Listen, look what Uncle Alberto brought you." "This is my drum when I was a little boy." "Muchas gracias, Uncle Alberto." "What do you know about that." "He looks like a Ricardo." "Say, I got an idea." "Would you like to play the drums with me tomorrow night?" "Oh, boy!" "Okay, we'll practice tomorrow." "Alberto, quiero que conozcas a mi senora." "Uh-huh." "Lucy?" "This is Uncle Alberto." "Hi." "What's this "hi" business?" "Quiere decir "hello."" "?" "Como esta usted?" "Es una muchacha muy bonita." "How's that?" "I was saying, you're a very pretty girl." "Oh." "And where did you get that beautiful red hair?" "Oh, I get it every two weeks..." "Oh!" "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry, Uncle Alberto." "I'll buy you a new one tomorrow." "I'm terribly sorry." "Everybody..." "let's have some punch, huh?" "Un ponche." "Alberto, tome un buen ponche." "You look well." "Tu muy bien tambien." "Muy bien." "Muy bien." "You see, she was nervous." "You know, she was nervous meeting you." "Te debias haber casado con una muchacha Cubana." "But I wasn't in love with a Cuban girl." "You'll love Lucy when you get to know her." "You really would." "Dale una oportunidad." "I'll give her, I'll give her..." "Very well, very well." "Honey, come on." "Come on." "Oh, I'm so sorry." "I was so nervous." "I made a terrible impression on your uncle." "Honey, no, no." "Why don't you tell him it's an old American custom." "Oh, now" " What?" "When you like somebody, you break their hat." "Now, honey, I had a talk with him and everything's smoothed out." "Now, you just go over and talk with him." "Oh, do I have to?" "Por favor." "Please." "What will I say?" "Well, let him do the talking." "Oh, okay." "Uh, Uncle Alberto?" "?" "Si, querida?" "Would you care for some punch?" "Si." "Macho grasa." "What?" "Macho grasa." "?" "Que modo de tratar el tio son esas?" "What did I say?" "What'd I say?" "What?" "What did you say?" "He asked me if I wanted some punch." "I said, si." "Macho grasa." "?" "Macho grasa?" "Oh, dear, it's muchas gracias." "You just called him a big, fat pig." "Oh, no!" "Say you're sorry." "That you didn't know what you were saying." "Uncle Alberto..." "Oh!" "Oh, I'm so sorry!" "I'm so sorry." "I'm terribly sorry, Uncle Alberto." "It will come right off." "It will come right off." "Let me get some cold water." "It will come right off." "Honey, please." "Honey..." "Lucy, sit down, darling." "I'll get a towel, dear." "My cigars!" "My cigars!" "He should have married a Cuban girl." "Now, honey, it couldn't have been that bad." "Well, I ruined his straw hat, spilled punch on his clothes, crushed his cigars, and called him a big, fat pig in Spanish." "Well, that's pretty bad, even for you." "After what I did last night" "Cuba may cut off America's sugar supply." "Oh, dear." "We've got to rehearse." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey, where did you get that drum?" "Uncle Alberto gave it to me." "Yeah." "It's the drum I used to have when I was a little boy." "Yeah?" "Say, shall we tell them the big news?" "Ricky's going to appear with me tonight." "Oh." "No kidding." "Will you be there?" "Will we?" "!" "Why, we wouldn't miss that for anything in the world." "My whole family's coming." "I got a big table reserved." "Yeah, you better reserve one table for your family and one for me." "Oh, now, honey, what are you talking about?" "After what happened last night," "Uncle Alberto will never want to see me again, much less sit at the same table with me." "Now, that's not true." "Well, if the first time I met you" "I said awful things, spilled stuff all over you, and acted like a first-class nincompoop, what would you have done?" "Just what I did-- wait for my clothes to come back from the cleaners and then marry you." "Boy, he's got a memory like an elephant." "Come on, partner, we got to go to rehearsal." "Listen, after the rehearsal," "I'm going to take him over to his grandma's house and then I'm going to see Uncle Alberto." "So I'll see you later." "Okay." "Adios." "Good-bye." "Adios." "Bye-bye, dear." "Oh, come on now, honey, snap out of it." "Let's all go shopping." "Shopping?" "Again?" "Yeah, let's go shopping." "There's something I want to get." "What?" "A box of cigars for Uncle Alberto." "I found out where he has his made." "Maybe if I get some more for him" "I'll get back in his good graces." "Oh, sure you will, honey." "Come on." "Oh, look at me." "Brown purse, blue shoes." "Heavens to Betsy." "I'll only be a second." "I want to get my other purse." "I'm going to get my other wallet." "I left my money in this one." "Yeah, this is the place, all right." "Oh, look, they make cigars by hand." "Isn't that interesting?" "Mm-hmm." "Hey, how about that?" "Honey, while you're buying the cigars" "I think I'll go buy some more souvenirs." "Ethel, do you think I'm made of money?" "Oh, I just want to buy a pair of those maracas." "Swell-- then we can mambo all the way to the poor house." "I'll catch up with you later." "Buenos dias, senora." "Bonus dies." "What can I do for you?" "I'd like a box of Corona Grande, please." "Por favor." "Aqui estan sus tobacos." "El mejor tobaco en Havana." "Ah, macho gra..." "I mean, muchas gracias." "Quince pesos." "What's that?" "15 Dollars." "15 Dollars?" "Si, senora." "Oh, my gosh!" "?" "Que paso?" "I forgot to put my money in this purse." "I have some friends right down the street." "I'll go get them and bring the money back to you." "No money, no cigars." "What are you talking...?" "Look what you did!" "What do you mean, "what I did," for heaven's sake." "If you hadn't grabbed ahold my arm," "I wouldn't have dropped the box." "Si usted hubiera traido dinero no pasa esto." "Now, you have to pay for this." "Well, how can I pay for them if you won't let me get the money from my friends?" "You stay here." "Your friends come back for you." "But they're not coming back for me." "Oh, then I call the police right now." "What are you talking about, for heaven's sakes?" "Why should you call the police?" "Me espera ahi un ratito." "Ahorita regreso, ?" "eh?" "Ah, Senor Don Alberto." "?" "Como esta usted?" "Muy bien, senor." "What can I do for you?" "Well, I need some more cigars." "Tengo palmas" "Corona Grande, Panatelas..." "lo que usted guste." "y me han dicho que ha comprado usted una casa en Santiago." "Bueno, una casa asi no mas." "No vaya creer que es una cosa del otro mundo." "Este es un tobaco excelente." "Tambien aqui esta..." "Mire usted, esto lo hemos hecho de un tobaco selecto para gustos delicados de la aristocracia." "?" "Que le parece?" "Ah, que bien." "Este es una cosa excelente." "Hey ?" "Donde esta?" "La Americana loca que ha venido aqui." "La turista." "I didn't see no one." "Dice usted que ha venido." "Me ha comprado cigarros." "Se ha ido sin pagarme." "Y ademas de eso los ha roto y los ha pisado." "No hay derecho, pero..." "Angelo," "?" "has visto a alguien salir por aqui?" "Maybe she went out this door." "No puede ser." "Senor Don Alberto, I'm sorry for this delay." "Don't worry." "I am waiting for my nephew right here." "Which one?" "Ricky, the one that married the Americana." "Oh, el maestro que tiene una orquestra famosa." "Tendre mucho gusto en verlo." "If you think that Americana turista is bad you should meet my nephew's wife." "No!" "Alberto." "?" "Como estas?" "Mi sobrino, Ricky Ricardo." "Mucho gusto." "An American ruined a whole box of his best cigars." "Si, senor." "Si, senor." "Americano?" "Si, una loca turista Americana." "Si, imaginese que ha venido los roto se ha querido ir sin pagar." "Sin pagar, senor!" "Disappeared right before his eyes." "?" "Una loca turista Americana?" "Loquisima!" "Loquisima!" "No sabe donde..." "Alberto, I just remembered" "I got to be someplace in ten minutes." "Look at that big cigar they're making." "They don't make them like they used to anymore do they?" "Aha!" "That's the woman!" "No, senor..." "Ladies and gentlemen, this evening, the casino takes great pleasure and pride in presenting a very special attraction." "Some years ago, a young boy left Cuba to go to America." "The only thing that he took with him was a drum full of rhythm and a heart full of hope." "He's back home tonight." "Let's give him a real great welcome." "Ricky Ricardo!" "Pablo!" "You see un hombre afortunado" "Which means you're looking at a lucky guy" "In Cuba, I'm a Cuban" "In the U.S.A., I'm a yank" "Wherever I am, I'm home, and I got you to thank" "You never see me homesick" "'Cause from home I'm never away" "Wherever I am, I'm home" "In Cuba or the U.S.A." "I've got two places to hang my hat" "Two verandas if we choose to" "And in two languages, a welcome mat" "To say "hello" to my shoes" "In New York or Havana, people make me feel I belong" "Wherever I am, I'm home" "I can go, but I can't go wrong" "Just name me one other chap" "With a girl like Lucy on his lap" "And a diet of hot tamales and apple pie" "You see un hombre afortunado" "Which means you're looking at a lucky guy" "I'm a lucky guy" "What a lucky guy" "Yes, sir, you're looking at a lucky guy." "Here's your hat, Uncle Alberto." "Thank you." "Thank you very, very much, ladies and gentlemen." "You don't know how wonderful it is to be back in Cuba." "You know, I..." "I left here alone, but I didn't come back alone." "I'd like you to meet my wife, a wonderful girl." "Lucy." "And I'd like to ask another member of the family to join me in the next number." "I'd like you to meet my son, Ricky, Jr." "Say, "gracias."" "Gracias." "Now, uh, even though Little Ricky was born in America," "I want to prove to you that there's a lot of Cuba in his heart." "Hey!" "Babalu" "Babalu" "Babalu" "Babalu" "Babalu ay-eh!" "Babalu ay-eh!" "Babalu-- hey-yeah" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Hey-yeah!" "Hey-yeah!" "Hey-yeah!" "Ole, ole, ole, ole!" "Ole, ole, ole, ole!" "Ole, ole, ole, ole!" "Ole, ole, ole, ole!" "Ole, ole, ole, ole!" "Ole, ole, ole, ole!" "Arriba con la conga!" "Arriba con la conga!" "Arriba con la conga!" "Arriba con la conga!" "Anyone who's the mother of a boy like that is all right with me." "Here we go." "Here we go." "Yeah!" "ever." "The part of Uncle Alberto was played by George Trevino," "Mother Ricardo was Mary Emery and Nacho Galindo was the cigar store owner." "Eddie Lebaron played the nightclub emcee and Barbara Logan was the stewardess." ""I Love Lucy" is a Desilu Production." "Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time."