"And three mini muffins" "For the little girl from the "children having a dream" foundation." "Three pictures of "mackenzie falls"" "And no tawni, no tawni," "No tawni!" "Bananas-- if the girl is needy," "I'm sure she'll "needy" some potassium." "oh, I'm funny." "They're not for you!" "They're for dakota," "The underprivileged little girl who's going" " To spend a dream day at "so random!"" " I'm underprivileged." "You're under-photographed, not underprivileged." "Under-photographed is much worse." "And do I get a muffin basket?" "No-oo!" "Let's focus on what's important here." "As the ambassador of fun, I promised her the best day ever." "Who nominated you ambassador of fun?" "I did." "I even have a hat." "Ambassador of fun." "Oh, hey, look at that." "It's me and my cast at every hot club in hollywood." "Oh, and you in a dumb hat." "Well, we don't care about pictures in magazines, okay?" " We have charity." " Oh..." " And you don't care that you're on page 48 of "tween weekly"?" " We are?" "!" "This is how the world sees us." "Cheese pants." "This is why we never get invited anywhere cool." "Uh, sure-- it's the pants." "Chad, you are so superficial." "Yeah, all I hear from that is, "chad, you are so super-- blah blah blah."" " I don't care!" " Uh, mr." "Condor!" "Hey, big boss man, how's it going?" "I'm on the phone!" " I'm sorry." "Fire her!" "Fire him too." "On second thought, cancel the whole show." " I was just on my way out." " Oh, I-- what are you doing?" "Saving you." "That's mr." "Condor," "Head of condor studios." "If you tick him off," "He'll cancel your show." "And I'm on that show." "And we've got the cheese pants to prove it, huh?" "♪ off to the races, I'm going places ♪" "♪ might be a long shot, not gonna waste it ♪" "♪ this is the big break and it's calling my name ♪" "♪ yeah!" "♪" "♪ so far, so great, get with it ♪" "♪ at least that's how I see it ♪" "♪ having a dream is just the beginning ♪" "♪ so far, so great, believe it ♪" "♪ can't take away this feeling ♪" "♪ taking a ride with chance on my side ♪" "♪ yeah, I can't wait ♪" "♪ so far, so great ♪" "♪ so far, so great ♪" "Dakota!" "Hi, I'm sonny." "I'm so happy you're here." "I'm gonna give you the best day of your little life." "It's not gonna be that hard, sonny." "Well, will this help?" "a "so random!" gift basket?" " My life's already better." " Yeah." "You got your "so random!" sun visor," "Your nico and grady yo-yo." "Watch this-- it even talks." ""yo yo, I'm nico!" "Yo yo, I'm grady!"" "Believe it or not, it's a collector's item." "Oh, so, oh, look, there's zora." " Hey, zora." " Hi." "Evil." "Uh, don't take that personally." "That's just zora." "It's okay." "When every day's a struggle," "Names don't bother you." ""mackenzie falls" shoots here?" "!" "I had no idea." "I love chad dylan cooper." "Yeah, so does chad dylan cooper." "Do you think I could meet him?" "But you won the day at "so random!"" "I get it, sonny." "Just another disappointment." "No no no, sonny munroe does not disappoint." "Yeah, she appoints." " You'd do that for me?" " Just watch me dial my cell phone." "This is chad dylan cooper." "Sorry I can't come to the phone right now," "Because if you were important enough, you'd have the number to the phone I answer." " let's go get some ice cream." " Cheese pants?" " I know, right?" "Page 48, baby!" "Up top." "Cheese pants!" "Do you hate me?" " The pants were from a sketch." " Yeah." " You wore them to go out!" " Whoa whoa whoa!" "And now I'm out-- of every magazine," "Every club opening and everything cool." "And who do you see there and there?" " And there and there and there?" "!" "Chad dylan cooper and the cast of "mackenzie falls."" "Ugh, you know what?" "She's right." "We need to be seen in cooler places." "Yes!" "That's why we're going to a place so cool," "So exclusive, so underground," "It doesn't even exist!" "we're going to narnia?" "This isn't narnia." "No." "This is "the basement"!" "This is the basement set" "We used in the basement sketch." "And now with a few throw pillows and better lighting," "It's hollywood's hottest new teen club" "The basement!" "♪ hoo hoo!" "♪" "Now get over here and disco hoo for the camera." "Okay, now gimme cool." "Yeah, that's it." "Now act like you don't know your picture's being taken." "Yeah, that's great." "Now give me obsequious." " What?" " Huh?" "That's it." "I just wanted a shot of you looking confused." "And I got it." "Okay, we've been seen." "Now, zora, get our pictures on the internet." " Got it, chief." " And you two," " Tear the set down." " Wait wait wait!" " Tear the set-- what?" " Just a minute." "Now give me I just got stuck with all the clean-up." "Yeah, that's it, baby." "Work with me." "Yeah." "Hey, dakota, how's your hamburger?" "They forgot to put the pickles on it." "But you didn't ask for pickles." "Yeah, because my life's already sour enough." "Look, why don't I call chad?" " Cdc here." " Really, chad?" "Sonny?" "Oh man, I answered the wrong phone." "Look, I need a favor." "I have the sweetest girl here" "And she really wants to meet you." "Oooh, what's she look like?" "She's nine." "Yeah, no, bad connection." "I'll call you back, don't worry about it." "Bad connection." " cdc." "What it do?" "Look, I have the sweetest little girl in the world here," "And she really wants to meet you." " Man, I gotta get a third phone." "Come on, chad." "She really really wants to meet you." " She's a huge fan." " Yeah, of course she does." "Okay, but unlike you we're very busy" "At "mackenzie falls," so-- besides I'm" "I'm going through a tunnel." "I'll-- talk to you later-- we should hang out." "Chad, I can see you." "All right, so you can see that I'm very busy." "So don't go bringing that kid over to the "falls" either" "Because we're all very busy." "Okay, I'll talk to you later." "Okay." "Peace out." "Look, dakota, chad can't make it." "He's, uh, very busy." "Of course he is." "The story of my life." "Well, hey, come on." "Now when life hands you lemons, what do you do?" "You make lemonade." "I don't want lemonade." "I want chad." "Well, what if that lemonade you were drinking" "Was coming out of a "so random!" crazy straw?" "See, it's so crazy 'cause the straw" "I want chad!" "Evil." "Check it out!" "We're all over the internet" "At the basement!" " Nico:" "The hottest club in town." " ♪ hoo hoo!" "♪" "And who wasn't at the basement?" "All right, guys, guys, that's enough." "You always play with a toy so much it breaks." " Move." " Dakota!" "Toe-stomping is not nice." "Oh, but you're so cute and so underprivileged" "I'll forgive you." "Aw, is this the little darling" "From the children having a dream foundation?" "Evil." "Zora, she is not evil." "She might have anger issues, but mostly she's" " Disappointed!" " Because you got stuck with sonny?" "Girlfriend, I know how you feel." "No!" "I'm disappointed that none of you are chad dylan cooper!" "according to the world wide web," "We are much cooler than chad dylan cooper." "This isn't about cool." "This is about hot." "Chad dylan cooper is hot." " get out of my way, old lady." "Hey hey hey, paws off the gnome, sister." "It's mine-- until I get to meet chad." "Oh-hhh, I don't think that you want to get in a gnome fight with me." " Look, he's wearing the same pants as you." " Oh, that's great." "Gnomey!" "No you" "Stop it, stop it, stop it." "Dakota, dakota, stop!" "Stop!" "Okay okay okay okay okay." "Uh, why don't we continue the tour?" " Is chad on the tour?" " No." "Well..." "Then put him on the tour!" "Okay, ow." "sorry, sonny, she's the ambassador of fun." "That's great." "Oooh, check it out!" "They're having a sale on peasant blouses." "I know they're out, but if anybody can bring them back, it's me." " hey, what time is rehearsal?" "Oh." "How did you not notice I'm tied up?" "I don't know." "How did you not notice I'm wearing new nail polish?" "It's a two-way street, sonny." "Look who we found making a break for "mackenzie falls."" " I'll handle this." " Get off me." "You are one mean, manipulative, selfish" " Gnome-murdering-- - chad-loving" " Sonny-tying-- - evil little girl." "And you say it like it's a bad thing." "That's because it is a bad thing." "What, were you raised by wolves?" "I'm going to call your parents" "And I'm going to give them a little piece of my mind." "Aw, he brought his puppy to work?" "Fire him!" "But keep his puppy." "Hang on a moment, mr." "Condor." "I'm in the middle of giving this little girl" "Daddy!" "The best day ever." "I don't care if he's crying, just take the puppy away from him" "Good news, princess, I got you a puppy." " Oh, dad!" " I will see you later, my angel." " Okay, bye." " I love you with all my heart." "Okay, losers, everybody front and center." " come on!" " Come on!" " Nico:" "Oh." "So what have we learned today?" "That your dad owns the studio?" " Mm-hmm." " That I'm under-photographed." "That children having a dream isn't a real charity." " You made it up." " Of course I made it up." "but the dream is real." "Hey, that's mi..." "Iiiine." "That's yours, heh." "Look, it's your color and everything." "Children having a dream." " All:" "Chad!" " Chad." "Uh, miss condor?" "If your dad owns the studio, why did you have" "To go through all this to meet chad dylan cooper?" "I'm nine." "I'm not really allowed to watch "mackenzie falls."" "Oh, me either." "Back in line!" "And I'm certainly not supposed to be crushing on the star." "My daddy thinks I'm an angel." "Obviously he doesn't have a very good sense of direction." " Okay, zora." " Just chill." "Now get me some quality face time" "With chad dylan cooper!" " But-- - sonny, remember," " She's the sweet little daughter-- - spawn!" " Of the guy-- - scary guy" "With the power to fire you." "So make it happen!" " Oh, okay." " Now!" "No!" "This can't be happening." "There's no way those "so random!"s are getting into the basement before me." "No, I'm looking at them on my other phone right now." " Hey, chad, I need-- - yeah, let me tell you what I need." "Why are your needs always more important than mine?" "Look, your friends got into this hot new club called the basement." " You've got to get me in there." " Oh, so you need something from me, huh?" " Where's this going?" " I'll get you into the basement..." " Awesome." " ..." "If..." "This is why I have two phones." "...You take that little girl from the charity with you." "Actually funny little story-- she's not actually from a charity." "Sonny, I don't care about the girl or the charity" "Or your funny little stories that seem to never be funny or little." "Okay, I'll do whatever, I just need to get into the basement!" "No problemo." "And you know what?" "I won't bore you with any detail of who that little girl is." " Good." " Good." " Fine." " Fine." "I'm sorry, mary-kate, but I can't get you into the basement." "I just said no to an olsen." "I just said no to the other olsen." "I just said no to spiderman." "tobey maguire?" "No no no, the guy who dresses up like spiderman in hollywood." "He's so cool!" "He lives in a van." " It's mr." "Condor." " What does he want?" " Is he gonna fire us?" " I'm gonna put him on speaker." "I'll make this quick." "I saw those fantastic pictures of you" " Hanging out at the basement." " You know how we roll." "Yeah yeah yeah!" " Get me in there." " What?" "We just kind..." "Make it happen!" "Barbara, I'll need my skinny jeans and a hoodie." "Yeah!" "What are you so happy about?" "We're going to the basement with mr." "Condor!" " There is no basement." " There is no basement?" " No!" " Exactly how I felt" "About narnia." "So wait, let me get this straight." "You guys build a fake club to make yourselves seem cool?" "That's pathetic and deceptive and just plain wrong." "Do you think you could build it again?" "Uh, yeah, but it's still gonna be on the set of our show." "Yeah, but, nico, you know that and I know that," "But chad and mr." "Condor won't know that." "So why do I have to be blindfolded?" "Well, the club is so exclusive" " Nobody can know where it is." " Oh." "Why don't you have to wear a blindfold?" "Well, how do you know I'm not?" "We're here." "welcome to the basement," "Hollywood's hottest teen club." "That'll be..." " $20." " Here you go." "Thanks." "Oh, darn it!" "Chad, I forgot my wallet." "can you cover me?" " Yeah, sure, I got ya." " Thanks, chad." "yeah, enjoy the club." "And might I say," "Tawni, you look particularly stunning this evening?" "Why, thank you!" "Chad, tip the nice man." "Oh, right." "Here you go." "Thanks, man." "Thanks!" "Let's go." "Dude, check it out." "We're dancing with some really cute girls." "They're actors." "They're paid to be here." "Yeah, well, it's money well spent." "Yes, I made it to the basement." "Finally I'm cool again!" "Word up!" " Chad." " Sonny." "All right, let's get this over with." "Where's the punchline to your funny little story." "Chad, dakota;" "dakota" "You must be the sweet little girl I'm obligated to hang with." "It's really you!" "Now take me to the back of his head." " he's perfect back here too." " oh my gosh!" "I love this song!" "Take me back to his front." "Let's dance." "So I'm feeling a little third-wheelish, but thanks for the dance." "So far so good." "Chad's believing it." "Yeah, well, chad still believes" "That miley and hannah are two different people." "It was great meeting you." "You have outstanding taste in tv stars." "I just need to dance with someone a little more..." " Not you." " Chad." "Chad, chad, chad." "Let me explain to you..." "How this evening is gonna work." "You're gonna hang out with me:" "A little talky talky, a little dancey dancey," "You'll laugh at all my jokes and then we'll live happily ever after." "I held up my end of the bargain, you know." "I had the meety meety, the greety greety." "And now it's time for the beaty beaty." "Ha ha, so beat it." "Hey, ladies." "Well, look at that." "Those girls aren't even looking at you." "It's because there's a kid on my leg." "What are you doing?" "Get-- get off!" "Get off." "The ride is over!" "Whoa!" "♪ hoo hoo!" "♪" "Hey, mr." "Condor, how's it going?" "Man, can you believe this little brat?" "Daddy, daddy!" "Oh, daddy?" "Daddy-- there's your funny little punchline." "And, boy, is he gonna be mad at you for yelling at his daughter." "Sonny, you brought my precious angel to a hollywood club?" " Sounds like he's mad at you." " Oh no!" "He's mad at you too." "Actually, mr." "Condor, it's a really funny story." "Trust me, it's really not that funny." "And you're really gonna love this part." "Whoa!" "this club is fake." "of course it is." "You don't think I'd bring your daughter to a real hollywood club, do you?" "Sonny, you expect me to believe you built all of this" " For my daughter?" " Do you believe it?" "Well, if it was coming from chad, I'd say it was a little butt-kissy." "But from you, sonny," "Sure." " Let's go, angel." " Angel?" "She's a little-  yeah, I know." "Everything turned out right." "I'm not laughing at that." "I'm laughing at this." " 'cause this is actually a funny story." ""So random!" fake club, The internet." "Chad dylan cooper, dancing, nine-year-old girl." "Just delete them!" "Fine." "So who wants to boogie?" "Yeah!"