"(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)" "MAN: (SINGING) Tell me, Doctor, where are we going this time?" "Is this the '50s" "Or 1999?" "All I wanted to do" "Was play my guitar and sing" "So take me away I don't mind" "But you better promise me I'll be back in time" "Gotta get back in time" "I'll be back in time" "Gotta get back in time" "COMPUTER:" "Focal range, 3.27 meters." "Commence transmission." "Dr. Emmett Brown here." "Today marks an important milestone in the history of my scientific endeavors." "After months of exhaustive research and experimentation, it can finally be revealed." "Prepare yourselves as you'll be the first to witness..." "The first to witness..." "I can't believe it." "I've completely forgotten what I was going to say..." "Oh..." "I've got it now." "I am about to reveal my findings in the area of..." "My findings..." "Blast!" "I've forgotten again." "I must be losing my mind." "Great Scott, it can't be, not my brain power." "This reminds me of a similar incident that occurred once before." "Only last time it all started on April Fools' Day, as my sons Jules and Verne were preparing some holiday high jinks..." "JULES:" "Salt in the sugar bowls." "VERNE:" "Check." "JULES:" "Shower nozzle filled with chocolate sauce." "Check." "Banana peels in Father's auto-jog running shorts..." "Check." "Cross wires on the environmental adjuster..." "Check." "Add sparkling soda water and imitation flavoring to his patented brain wave analyzer." "Check-er-rooni." "Brother, inventory is now complete on our April Fools' Day shenanigans." "Greetings, youthful offspring!" "BOTH:" "Good morning, Father." "Ah!" "Nothing like a nice cup of coffee in the morning." "But first, my pre-breakfast exercise." "I'll just slip Into my auto-jog running shorts." "Ahh, and I do mean slip..." "Perhaps today a gentle trot... (SCREAMS)" "I said trot, not stampede!" "What a development!" "Gee, Pop, I wonder what went wrong?" "To the contrary, for the first time these things no longer chafe!" "And they used to always give me an aluminum-melvin." "CLARA:" "Emmett, what happened to our shower?" "I look like a hot fudge sundae!" "Only sweeter." "Mmm, actually, my skin feels so soft." "It's like a combination shower and moisturizing cream dispenser." "Some parents just don't appreciate quality juvenile mischievousness." "Come along, boys, or you'll be late for school." "I hope Vice Principal Strickland likes my worm-loaded apples." "Oh, Emmett, your new invention is such a wonderful surprise." "Funny, I don't recall conceiving an apparatus involving plumbing and chocolate sauce." "Perhaps my brain-wave analyzer will help me locate the missing idea." "Hey, check it out, Doc!" "The biggest concert of all time." "That would be Woodstock." "August 15th through 17th, 1969." "500,000 attended at Yasgur's farm." "Oh." "Okay, the biggest concert in Hill Valley." "Here's your tickets, and remember, Doc, you promised to design some great special effects." "Not now, Marty." "I'm attempting to ferret out an absent concept." "(SCREAMS)" "Great Scott!" "Ah, what's up, Doc?" "Marty, the normal human uses merely 3% to 5% of his or her brain power." "Yeah, well, face it." "You're not exactly normal." "No offense." "Thank you." "According to my calculations, the amplitude of electrostatic diodes counterbalanced with a modulation of binary cathodes is equal in frequency imagery to its own friction weight!" "(UNINTELLIGIBLE)" "This should graphically demonstrate, after a lifetime of science..." "The amount of reserve brain power left in my noodle." "Jumpin' gigawatts," "I've used up 99.99% of my brain power!" "I possibly have one or two more ideas left, then it's no more cerebral facilities!" "Zero!" "Zippo!" "Zilch!" "Nada!" "Pfft!" "Ah, mega brain-drain." "My only hope is to stop all thought process immediately!" "I must give up science." "Doc, if you give up science, that means no more time travel, no more adventures..." "Wait a second!" "No special effects show for my concert!" "Now that is a bummer." "Marty, it is imperative that we discontinue all conversation immediately." "Accidentally registering the slightest input could possibly wipe away my few remaining brain cells." "You mean, like if I was to ask, what's two plus two?" "Ahhh!" "I must inform Clara!" "I'm sure she already knows the answer is four." "Hey, check it out." ""Lightning, thunder, fog."" "I don't know what this is but it's exactly what I need for my concert." "Clara!" "Something catastrophic has occurred!" "You're telling me." "The kids finished off the orange juice." "How would you like your eggs?" "Fried or hard-boiled?" "No, no, mustn't think, can't use up my last remaining cells." "Poached is good." "Clara, you don't understand." "My brain, it's shot, done for, completely scrambled!" "Well, scrambled's nice." "Clara, listen to me," "I'm retiring from science!" "Oh, honey, April Fools' to you, too!" "Coffee or tea?" "Oh!" "SOAP OPERA WIFE ON TV:" "Dirk, you've got to do something with your life!" "I won't just stand here and watch you throw it away!" "These TV shows are so unrealistic." "Emmett, you've got to do something with your life" "I won't just stand here and watch you throw it away." "If you can't invent anymore, do something else." "Without my intellect, I'm nothing." "Fiddlesticks, there are plenty of jobs which don't require brains." "Clara, I refuse to go into politics!" "(CRASHING)" "That does it, I'm fetching Marty." "Maybe he can talk some sense into you before you destroy the whole house." "She's right." "Not only am I useless," "I'm becoming a hazard to my family!" "I must go my own way before someone I love gets hurt." "(SCREAMS)" "Other than myself that is." ""In this state of mind, or lack of it," ""I feel I am a burden to you and the boys." ""Good-bye, Clara." ""Obtusely yours, Emmett."" "Marty, this is terrible." "No kidding." "Look at that penmanship." "And he spelled boys, B-O-Y-Z." "Whoa." "This is serious." "DOC:" "Don't think." "Don't think." "Mustn't think." "Mustn't think." "Avoid thinking." "Mustn't think." "How could this catastrophe have happened to me," "Emmett L. Brown?" "Twice-voted Hill Valley High's" ""Most likely to violate the laws of Newtonian physics?"" "What a conundrum." "I had no idea that having too many ideas could lead to having no ideas." "(HORN HONKING) Ahhh!" "(GASPS)" "Employment office?" "That's it!" "I shall bury my troubles in menial labor!" "DESK SERGEANT:" "Now, let me get straight, Mrs. Brown." "You say Doc Brown has run away from home because he's used up all of his brain?" "Yes, well, not quite all of it." "He still has..." "How much?" "Ah, a tenth of a percent..." "Give or take a little." "That's right, Officer." "(LAUGHING) That's a good one!" "Doc Brown without a brain!" "(LAUGHING)" "April Fools'!" "Well, I never!" "I don't think they believed us." "Don't worry, Clara." "Doc's gotta be out there somewhere." "And we're gonna find him." "(SINGING) I could while away the hours conferrin' with the flowers" "Consultin' with the rain" "And my head I'd be a scratchin'" "While my thoughts busy hatchin' if I only had a brain" "If I only had a brain" "Baa baa baa baa baa" "Thank you." "(YAWNS)" "(HONKING)" "(CRASHES)" "(THUDS)" "BRETT:" "All you gotta do is take the orders and make the pizza." "Now, I'm takin' my break at the video arcade so you're in charge." "And don't mess up." "Affirmative, boss." "Okay, here's what I need." "One super-large, deluxe, gigantor pizza with extra mozzarella cheese on two slices, another slice with half mushrooms and half olives..." "Oh, that means cutting the mushrooms and olives in half, mind you." "I choke very easily." "Da Vinci couldn't design a pizza this complex!" "ALL:" "Pizza!" "(TELEPHONE RINGING)" "Pizza!" "We want pizza!" "What's goin' on here?" "Where's that new kid?" "Hey, rookie, wha-what happened?" "Don't worry, boss..." "Everything's okie-ma-dokie... (EXPLOSION)" "Not bad, although I may have used a dash too much yeast." "That's it, dude!" "You're fired!" "Oh, this is hopeless." "The modern world is just too complicated for a non-thinker such as myself." "Holy bovine!" "Of course!" "(LAUGHING)" "Mother!" "Martin!" "What are you guys doin' here?" "Is this about Vice Principal Strickland going to see the nurse after eating an apple?" "Verne, Jules, it's about your father." "Eh, yeah, fellas, there's been sort of a weird development." "Why do I have the sinking feeling that this is all our fault?" "DOC:" "All systems are go." "Destination, back when life was simple." "No, no, no!" "Let's try again, now pay attention, and no grunting amongst yourselves." "Rapidly rotate the pointed stick against the larger piece of wood." "The resultant friction causes fire." "There." "See how simple?" "Doop!" "What is it with you proto-humans?" "You want to eat raw meat all your lives?" "Oh, I give up!" "Pleistocene period is not the dream vacation I'd hoped it would be." "Hmm." "What am I doing?" "That's the problem with prehistoric living!" "There are too many things left to invent!" "The temptation to think is too strong!" "There must be somewhere in the universe where no thinking is required!" "Oh, what's this?" "A rock concert!" "Perfect!" "Ha-ha!" "Nice move, huh, Verne?" "Yeah." "Cool." "Marty, are you sure Emmett will show up here?" "Hey, Doc told me he was coming, and he's never broken a promise to me yet." "Boys, do you know what to do when we find your father?" "Yes, ma'am." "We confess our youthful prankery vis-a-vis the sabotage of his brain wave analyzer." "Then we duck." "In the meantime, just chill out and enjoy the show." "Hey, you'd better hurry if you want to get a good seat." "(SNORING)" "Did the show start?" "Emmett!" "Father!" "Dad!" "Ahh." "(GRUNTS)" "Father, you must listen to us." "Dad, it was, it was all Jules' idea." "You don't understand, I'm a hazard to your collective health." "No, you don't understand." "It, it was all a joke, Father." "Jules, if my brain were working, I'm sure I would know what in the name of" "Isaac H. Newton you're talking about." "Jules and I, we kind of monkeyed around with that brainwave whatchamacallit as an April Fools' joke." "Yes, Father, I poured sody pop into it." "You see, Emmett?" "The machine was malfunctioning when it said you only have 0.01% of your brain capacity left." "Do you expect me to believe anything as absurd as that?" "But we can prove it, Father!" "I've repaired the machine." "VERNE:" "Come on!" "Hey, you dudes all set?" "Yeah, Ned." "And remember, when I give you the cue, crank that baby to lightning." "We're gonna give Hill Valley a concert it'll never forget." "I don't see what this is going to prove." "Hey, all you cats, this is Ned the fish!" "Rest your dogs and don't be chicken to swing like a monkey and go ape to some foxy new tunes." "Where'd this guy come from, the zoo?" "Let's really hear it for Marty McFly and The Pinheads!" "Rock and roll!" "Okay!" "Let 'er rip!" "I don't like the looks of those cumuli!" "Far out!" "Wow." "Emmett, this is horrible." "Well, I didn't want to say anything but I'm a Mantovani man myself." "I told you this thing would blow everybody away!" "Hi, Ned." "How's it hanging?" "JULES:" "Father, look!" "It's your environmental adjuster!" "That device is finely calibrated." "It would never malfunction like this!" "Well, we kind of monkeyed around with it, too." "We have to do something!" "I concur!" "However, I'm still not convinced I can formulate any original ideas!" "The best part is, they look like pumps but feel like galoshes." "When I said "let 'er rip," I didn't mean "let 'er rip!"" "(SCREAMING)" "Offspring!" "Hang on, boys!" "Doc, I'm sorry!" "I'll never borrow another invention without asking permission." "Don't worry about it, Marty, it's not your fault." "CLARA:" "Emmett!" "Whoa." "Whoa." "Whoa." "Whoa." "Whoa." "Whoa." "If we don't stop that machine, the town square and the rest of Hill Valley as we know it will be washed right off the map!" "Father, you must think!" "I can't!" "Sure you can, Dad!" "Negative!" "It's impossible!" "Listen to them, Emmett." "It's now or never." "Well, if I'm going to go out, I might as well go out big." "Think, think, think." "We necessitate a length of rope, a television remote control unit, and a queen-size, extra firm mattress from Handy's Houseware Hutch." "Ahoy!" "Weather machine, ho!" "Excellent!" "Although the controls have been damaged," "I should be able to adjust the output by triggering the infrared emergency override signal within the body of the machine!" "Doc, that's an impossible shot!" "Not to one who is familiar with the physical properties of light reflection!" "(CHEERING)" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Whoa, Doc, when you have a brainstorm, it's a doozy." "JULES:" "Again, Father, our most abject apologies." "DOC:" "Duly noted and accepted, son." "In what year will our allowances resume?" "Oh, sometime after the turn of the century." "Let's not think about that now." "The main thing is that we're all together, and I can finally have my morning cup of coffee." "(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)" "How is it, Pop?" "(COUGHS)" "I don't know, Vernie." "I think it could use a bit more salt." "COMPUTER:" "Camera status, operational." "You're on, Dr. Brown." "Dr. Emmett Brown here." "Brain power still intact." "I wanted to discuss some basic principles of weather and cloud formations." "But for the life of me, I, I can't remember why." "Uh..." "Ah!" "Right." "The weather machine!" "That's right." "I can't reveal the scientific working of my weather machine, but I can show you the basic theory behind it." "Access video-encyclopedia, section "C" for cloud formation." "COMPUTER:" "Section "C" entry, cloud formation." "DOC:" "Clouds are formed when moisture in the air is cooled to the point that it condenses into tiny drops of liquid, this, of course, is called condensation." "Having cool air and condensed water is not enough to form a cloud, however." "It is also necessary to have particles in the air for the water vapor to attach itself to." "Nature usually uses dust particles, but for our purposes a little bit of smoke will do the trick." "Now, watch carefully as we create our own cloud." "Here we have a clear plastic cylinder which is capped at both ends." "One end has a hole that fits a rubber stopper." "The hole in the stopper itself connects to a small air pump." "We begin by putting a small amount of water into the cylinder." "Closing it, and then pressurizing it." "And now, when the stopper is yanked off, watch what happens!" "Absolutely nothing, because there were no particles for water vapor to grab on to." "This time we do the same thing." "Just before we seal the water in the cylinder we light a match, because this experiment involves matches, better not try this one at home put it out, and quickly toss it into the chamber." "Now we pressurize it just as before." "Watch what happens this time when we yank off the stopper." "Instant cloud!" "The smoke from the match provides particles that the water vapor needs to cling to." "I hope I didn't cloud your minds with too much information." "Sometimes it's hard to weather so much at once!" "(THUNDER RUMBLES)" "Till next time." "See you in the future." "(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)" "All this science stuff is making me sick." "It's like what happened to that nuclear physicist when he drank some uranium?" "He got "atomic" ache!" "(LAUGHS LOUDLY)" "(GROANS) (STOMACH RUMBLING)" "(EXPLOSION)" "BIFF:" "Oh, excuse me!"