"Rawdon, we've been in bed all day." "It's 6:00." "Six pounds... eight and tuppence and the grocer's got his man out on the pavement." "Get up and go to the club and fleece some poor fellow at billiards or something." "Oh, Lord." "Well, go on, then." "You're a hard taskmaster." "Nothing from the old lady yet?" "Not a word." "That'll be Mrs. Bute poisoning her mind against us." "Do you know, I think she meant all this to happen." "It won't do her any good." "The old girl's not going to leave her the money, is she?" "Why not?" "She don't like her." "She likes you and me." "She'll come 'round..." "any day now." "I know she will." "But I'm very much afraid that that young man's wicked and ungrateful behavior could have been predicted for was he not always steeped in sin?" "And that young creature who shares his bed- she was buying gin for her drunkard father at nine years old." "Say what you will, Squills." "If a man's character is to be abused there's no one like a relation to do the business." "Yes, indeed." "And to pretend to you that she was sprung from the flower of French aristocracy." "Yes..." "But, you know, she was rather fun." "Fun, ma'am, will count for very little on the day of judgment." "That Hampshire woman will kill her in two months, Clump, me boy, if she carries on like that." "And we don't want that, do we?" "No, we don't, Dr. Squills." "Old woman, full feeder nervous subject palpitation of the heart pressure on the brain, apoplexy- off she goes." "Get her up, Clump." "Get her out." "Right." "Or I wouldn't give much for your 200-a-year retainer." "Right!" "Get her up?" "Get her out?" "It would kill her, Mr. Clump." "On the contrary, Mrs. Bute." "Dr. Squills and I are in full agreement- light, air, a little drive in the park." "In the park?" "And run the risk of coming face-to-face with her horrid nephew?" "No, Mr. Clump." "If you wish Captain Crawley to be her heir you're doing your best to serve him." "I believe the old lady hasn't changed her will as yet." "Gracious mercy!" "Her... her life in danger!" "Mr. Clump!" "Why did you not inform me sooner?" "Oh!" "Gently!" "Does the air do you good?" "How are you, ma'am?" "Very well... apart from your company and conversation which I find excessively tedious." "I like to see pretty young people." "I was a beauty myself once, you know." "A famous beauty, ma'am." "Look, Rawdon, look." "Don't look, ma'am." "Oh, I dreaded this." "Hat, Rawdon, hat, hat." "Firkin!" "She cut us." "I know it's not the done thing to leave them alone, but I hadn't the heart not to, Captain Dobbin." "She loves him so badly." "Though, what Mr. Sedley's going to say," "I don't know." "He won't have the name Osborne mentioned in the house." "You did the right thing, ma'am." "It's damn difficult, Emmy." "I don't want to offend him too much while he holds the purse strings." "But you wouldn't throw me over, George?" "Not for anyone." "Look down there, George!" "That's her in the carriage." "She has I don ' t know how many plantations in the West Indies." "She must be worth near a million." "I adore her excessively and Papa says you 're to marry her as soon as may be." "Oh." "And those are real diamonds." "Good God, they 're as big as pigeons ' eggs." "Now, I'm a man who likes to speak his mind... and I like you, Miss Swartz!" "Champagne, champagne to Miss Swartz!" "Eh, George?" "She'll be a great match for you, George." "What a fine girl she is." "Her money's very fine indeed." "By God, it is." "You can leave the army and all that nonsense behind." "Go into Parliament and cut a figure there, be seen at court." "You could do anything, George." "Well, she might not take me, Father." "Her not take you?" "Of course, she'll take you." "Fine young fellow like yourself." "The thing is, sir, it can't be done." "What?" "Not... not now, I mean... while we're expecting every day to go on foreign service." "Damn you, sir, don't take that tone with me." "You'll dine here tomorrow and every day that Miss Swartz honors us with her company and you'll be pleasant to her, sir." "Now, if you want for money, go and see Mr. Chopper." "Go on, finish your drink, join the ladies." "Is she very beautiful?" "Oh, herjewels are." "Jane quite adores her." "I wish your sister liked me better." "If you had three-quarters of a million" "Jane would like you just as well as she likes Miss Swartz." "Miss Swartz?" "Is that her name?" "But there was a Miss Swartz at our school in Chiswick." "Mulatto?" "Plump?" "Giggles a lot?" "Yes." "Well, well." "Small world." "Huh?" "Amelia?" "Amelia Sedley?" "Miss Swartz!" "But she was my dearest, dearest friend at Miss P's!" "Miss Swartz, please don't mention her." "Her father cheated Papa, you know." "Oh... oh, dear." "That's very bad." "Don't you believe a word of it, Miss Swartz." "There is nothing bad about Amelia Sedley." "Anybody who speaks against her is my enemy and anyone who speaks kindly to her is my friend." "Oh..." "Captain Osborne." "George!" "George." "I say I thank anybody who loves Amelia Sedley!" "A word with you, sir." "How dare you mention that person's name in my drawing room before Miss Swartz!" "May I ask you, sir, how dare you do it?" "Stop, sir." "Do not say "dare."" ""Dare" is not a word to be used to a captain in the British army." "You may be a captain, sir but you're a captain by purchase, sir and it's my money that purchased it!" "I'll say what I like to my own son, sir." "I ama gentleman, sir, although I am your son." "And I'll thank you to treat me as such." "Then kindly remember... in this house... while you choose to honor it with your presence, Captain" "I am the master!" "And none... none of those Sedleys shall ever be mentioned here." "If you mean Miss Amelia Sedley, sir" "I cannot comply." "Our family has done her quite enough harm already." "I love Amelia Sedley, sir, and she loves me." "I ain't going to have any of this sentimental humbug here, sir!" "I want no beggar marriages in my family." "Now, if you choose to fling away 10,000 a year so be it." "But, by God, sir, you take your pack and walk out of this house and forever, sir." "Now, will you do as I tell you and marry Miss Swartz... once and for all, sir?" "Will you do it?" "I don't think I shall, sir." "Mr. Sedley..." "How do you do, sir?" "Captain Dobbin, I..." "I'm very glad to see you, sir." "Come, come, sit down." "This is just..." "This is just a temporary arrangement, you know till my new offices are ready." "Well, what can we do for you, sir?" "Would you take something to eat or drink?" "No, no, nothing, thank you." "They don't understand here what I was and what I've come to." "Could any man have speculated on that scoundrel Napoleon getting off Elba and landing in France?" "It was he that ruined me." "He and a parcel of swindling thieves." "You know who I mean, Dobbin, my boy?" "I mean a purse-proud villain in Russell Square who I knew when he hadn't a shilling." "I have heard something of this from my friend George." "Your quarrel with his father has distressed him a great deal." "Indeed, I am the bearer of a message from him." "So that's your errand, is it?" "Well, go no further." "I won't hear his name mentioned." "I wish you would reflect a moment, Mr. Sedley." "His father's harshness isn't George's fault, is it?" "And there's no reason why... why Emmy should suffer a lifetime's unhappiness because John Osborne treated you unfairly." "I won't go back on my word, sir." "It was I who broke the match off first- not that villain." "I won't go back on my word." "I've fallen low, but not as low as that." "If they marry, they... marry without my consent." "Then they'll have to elope, sir." "Well..." "Well, if they do that, then I can't stop them, can I?" "No, indeed." "You're terrible fellows, you captains." "Miss Briggs!" "Oh, Miss Sharp, you gave me such a start." "Oh, dear, I shouldn't be speaking to you." "I gave my word." "Poor, dear Miss Briggs, don't fret." "I shan't embarrass you." "I only wanted to inquire about poor Aunt Crawley's health... and yours, of course." "Miss Crawley is a little stronger, thank you." "We are to go to take the air at Brighton for the season." "But really, I..." "I must say, I never..." "I wish you and the captain every happiness." "Dear old Briggs." "All right..." "Oh, first class." "I've cut myself off without a penny." "Well, damme, I don't care!" "She's the sweetest girl in the world, Dob." "I love her more every day." "Good man." "Here you are at last!" "Damme..." "I thought you'd cried off, George." "What a day, eh?" "Like the rainy season in Bengal." "I thought you were back in Boggley Wallah, Jos." "No, no, been lying low." "In Cheltenham, as it happens." "Thought it best." "Well, well, come along." "Mother and Emmy are waiting in the vestry." "Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God and in the face of this congregation to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony, which is an honorable estate instituted of God in the time of man's innocency" "signifying unto us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and his Church and is commended of St. Paul to be honorable among all men and therefore is not by any to be enterprised nor taken in hand unadvisedly, lightly or wantonly" "to satisfy men's carnal lusts and appetites like brute beasts that have no understanding but reverently, discreetly..." "Oh, I'm so glad you could come!" "As if I'd have stayed away from my best friend's wedding." "Oh, Emmy!" "Captain Osborne... what a happy day." "And where will you spend your honeymoon?" "Brighton." "What a coincidence!" "Rawdon and I were planning a little jaunt to the coast." "Weren't we, Rawdy?" "Now, don't look like that." "You and I must not be enemies." "Shall we all be friends again?" "Oh, yes, indeed!" "And, damme, why don't we all go to Brighton?" "Dobbin?" "Uh, no, I have..." "I have business in town." "Kiss the bride, Dobbin." "God bless you, William." "Captain Dobbin, sir, how are you?" "We are expecting you, sir." "You'll find the governor all right." "Go straight in, Captain Dobbin, sir." "Captain Dobbin!" "The honorable and gallant gentleman himself." "How do, my dear boy?" "I'm very well, thank you, sir." "And yourself?" "Well." "I won't pretend I don't know why you're here." "Take a seat, take a seat." "Well?" "I've brought you some very grave news, sir." "Our regiment will be ordered abroad before the week is over and we shan't be home again before a battle which... which may be fatal to many of us." "Well, I daresay the regiment will do its duty, sir." "What I mean, sir, is that before we go- and considering the great and certain risk that hangs over us all- if there are any differences between you and George shouldn't you shake hands now?" "You're a good fellow, William Dobbin." "And you're right" "George and me shouldn't part in anger." "No need for marriage now." "He can marry Miss Swartz when he comes back a colonel, huh?" "No, sir, that won't be possible." "Why not?" "Because, uh... because of previous engagements entered into by your son, sir." "Previous engagements?" "What?" "Is this Miss Sedley, now?" "So you want my son, an heir to marry a beggar's daughter, do you?" "Mr. Sedley was your very good friend, sir." "He set you up to this, didn't he?" "My son marry his daughter?" "A little beggar from the gutter!" "No one abuses that lady in my hearing, sir and least of all you." "For she's your son's wife..." "sir!" "George?" "Oh, George." "So?" "You're allowed to tell your best friend, you know." "I never dreamed such happiness was possible." "Oh, Emmy." "But..." "What?" "We've only been married a week and already he seems so eager for the company of others." "Oh, nonsense, you little goose." "Anyone can see the man adores you." "Do you think so?" "But sometimes I think how could I be a companion for him?" "He's so clever and so brilliant." "Nobody forced him to marry you, Emmy." "He couldn't resist you." "Nobody could." "Only a dear friend like you would think that, Becky." "I know I'm not worthy of him." "Believe me, you are..." "more than worthy of him and he knows it." "I must say I'm damned glad that you and Mrs. Crawley decided to come down to Brighton." "And you, too, Jos, of course." "After the first... flush this honeymooning can become damned slow work, you know." "So what's it going to be, chaps?" "A spot of billiards?" "No, damme!" "Not... not... billiards!" "Yesterday was enough." "You played very well, Sedley." "Didn't he, Osborne?" "Oh, excellent, excellent." "All he wanted was a little luck." "Ah, here come the ladies." "Now, don't look so black at us." "We haven't come to spoil your fun." "We're quite happy in each other's company aren't we, Emmy?" "Yes." "Can't conceive of you spoiling anyone's fun, ma'am." "Well... be that as it may we'll see you later at the Swan." "You won't be late, will you, George?" "No, don't you dare." "And as for you, Mr. Sedley you must stop leading our husbands into mischief you wicked, wicked man!" "Oh, good Lord!" "Oh, I say!" "Ah!" "Damme!" "Done for!" "Oh, bad luck, me boy." "Try again?" "Gad, what a night." "How bright the moon is." "Who'd think it was 236,847 miles off?" "Really?" "Mmm." "Isn't it clever of me to remember that?" "We learned it at Miss Pinkerton's." "Do you know what I intend to do one morning?" "Briggs has brought my aunt, Miss Crawley, down for the air and the sea-bathing and, you know, I find I can swim beautifully." "So when they go in to bathe" "I intend to dive under their awning like a mermaid and insist on a reconciliation in the water." "I say, Mrs. Crawley!" "Isn't that a good stratagem?" "Do you know, uh..." "I've always longed to see a mermaid and catch one..." "if I can." "Captain Osborne, for shame, sir." "A thousand pardons, ma'am." "Emmy, what's the matter?" "Just what are you about with young Captain Osborne?" "Teaching him a lesson, Rawdon, as you are." "You're teaching him about play, and I'm teaching him about life." "Well, little Mrs. Osborne don't like it, you know." "Little Mrs. Osborne will be very grateful to me." "George Osborne made a bad mistake with me and by the time I'm done with him he'll be very glad to run back to his little wife." "Well, come on, wild warrior." "Aren't we going to bed?" "That's her." "What do you think?" "Nothing ventured, nothing gained." "Miss Briggs!" "What a surprise!" "Oh, Miss Sharp!" "Mrs. Crawley!" "Ooh!" "Briggs!" "Here!" "Oh, but, Miss Crawley..." "Come away!" "Leave, I say!" "Come away!" "Whoo!" "Damn!" "Whoa... whoa." "Dob?" "So... what news?" "Did you speak to the governor?" "Later, George." "I'll tell you presently." "But I brought the greatest news of all." "We've been ordered to Belgium." "The entire British army, guards and all." "Right." "O'Dowd goes in command." "We leave next week from Chatham." "We've got to keep trying, Rawdon." "You must write to Aunt Crawley before we leave." "Oh, Lord. must I?" "Mmm. "Into battle, death or glory." "Can't go without wishing," et cetera." "I'll tell you what to write and give you the spellings." "Has Tiger Sedley paid up his backgammon debts?" "Uh... all bar 50 I had off him last night." "Get that from him first thing tomorrow." "What about Cupid?" "Hmm?" "Oh." "Your young George Osborne?" "Um... he still owes 200." "That's hardly enough to pay the inn bill, is it?" "The inn bill?" "You weren't thinking of paying that, were you?" "You are a treasure, Becky." "A pretty way you've managed the affair!" "There are some men who wouldn't mind changing with you." "How many captains in our regiment have 2,000 capital?" "You must live on your pay till he relents and if you die, you leave your wife a hundred a year." "Live on my pay?" "I can't live on my pay!" "I do, George." "What a damned mess you've got me into!" "Look here- get yourself mentioned in the Gazette and you'll be feasted like the prodigal son and Emmy, too, if he has any heart at all." "Oh, Dobbin... have you no conscience?" "This is all your doing!" "You were never happy, were you, until you'd got me married and ruined?" "And all in consequence of my... damned sentimentality." "Oh, God... keep my dear husband safe from harm... and let him love me." "Please, let him love me." "Oh, don't they look fine!" "Marvelous." "Huzzah, my boys!" "Huzzah!" "Huzzah!" "Huzzah!" "Le gros milord a I 'arrière!" "Le beau milord et la Dame Devant!" "Attention, attention, s 'il-vous plaî t." "Allez-y, allez-y." "Oh, par ici." "Attention, s 'il vous plaî t." "I tell them what to do, milord." "You don't have to call us "milord," you know." ""Monsieur" will do as well, or captain." "Oh, I don't know, I rather like it." "Ah, oui, Monsieur Sedley." "I do everything for you." "Jolly good." "They're funny little chaps, aren't they?" "Oh, it's not like anything I imagined!" "Really, this is like a second honeymoon isn't it, George?" "I'll, um..." "I'll leave you to it, then." "I'll, uh..." "I'll call on you later." "My quarters are in another part of town." "Oh, he's good, isn't he?" "None better, my dear." "Should we dine here tonight just the two of us, quietly?" "Good God, no." "We've been invited to Mrs. O'Dowd's party and Jos, too." "George, my dear fellow present me to your pretty lady." "And I daresay you've heard all about me from that husband of yours." "If you please, ma'am, he has told me that major O'Dowd goes in command of the regiment but Mrs. O'Dowd goes in command of the major." "Hmm." "Quite right." "George... you're a devil, you're a devil." "And you've caught a beauty there." "I've just invited Lord and Lady Bareacres to dinner tomorrow- and Lady Blanche- and they have accepted!" "What, at our lodgings?" "No, you little goose." "At the restaurant, of course." "I hope there'll be no women besides our own party, Blanche." "Gracious heaven, Mama, you don't suppose the man would bring his wife?" "I don't mind." "She's a pretty little thing." "Oh, Bareacres, officers are all very well, but their women are unspeakable." "Still, we shan't have to know them back in England." "Mrs. O'Dowd!" "Major." "There's more society here than there is in London in the season." "There'll be society of a different kind soon enough, eh, Dobbin?" "Ah, but, sure, there's no danger for us ladies and civilians, Mr. Sedley." "Yes, but... but I say, if it came to it" "Joseph Sedley wouldn't be found wanting." "I say!" "Isn't that the duke?" "Oh, George, there's Captain Crawley." "And Rebecca." "Mrs. Osborne, you're looking very well, ma'am." "We'll see you at the ball this evening." "George, wasn't that...?" "It was grand." "It was a grand figure." "Major..." "Mrs. O'Dowd." "May I have the pleasure?" "No, no, I'm engaged." "I amengaged, aren't I, General Tufto?" "Go away, go away." "What a humbug that woman is!" "Dearest Emmy why haven't you been to see me?" "I hope you're not scandalized because Rawdon and I and the general are sharing the same apartment." "Oh, no." "That... that is, I didn't know..." "You mustn't listen to the gossip." "It's just to share expenses." "Anyway, I think my Rawdon's big enough to take care of my honor." "Look at him there- silly great bear!" "Mrs. Crawley, would you do me the honor of dancing with me?" "Well, if Emmy doesn't object." "Oh, no." "Delighted, sir." "God, if you knew how I'd dreamed of this." "Really?" "Thought of nothing but you since Brighton." "And you only married, what?" "A few weeks?" "For shame, Captain!" "I mean it, Becky." "I know you do." "Who's that creature?" "Tufto's mistress, by all accounts." "Hot stuff, they say." "How very unpleasant." "Come and dance again." "Captain Osborne, George... you should go back to your wife and I should go back to my husband." "I don't want to..." "and nor do you." "Don't I?" "No." "Then go and fetch my shawl, would you?" "I left it with Emmy." "Promise you won't escape?" "I promise." "I've just come to get, uh..." "Mrs. Crawley's shawl." "Oh, there it is." "You might as well take her bouquet, as well." "Right." "Good idea." "I'll just be a minute." "Yes." "Looking for Becky?" "Mmm." "She's dancing with Tufto." "Shall I take the shawl?" "By the way, there's, uh... a matter of some £50 I believe you owe me." "Oh, yes, uh..." "of course." "Unfortunately..." "Any time convenient, my boy." "Shall I take the flowers as well?" "No, it's all right." "Excuse me." "Emmy?" "Oh, William, I don't feel very well." "Would you be very kind and take me home?" "Yes, of course." "Come and dance again." "I can't bear to see you with that man." "I can't." "He's angry." "He is my bread and butter, George." "Damn him." "Here." "There's a note." "Read it." "Not now, but soon... and have pity." "Will you?" "Tomorrow, or one day soon." "Tomorrow, or one day soon." "Coming upstairs with us, Osborne?" "Not I." "Not interested." "Lord, these married men." "Tomorrow... or one day soon." "George." "Hello, Dob!" "Come and have a drink." "Light up your lantern jaw." "Put the glass down, then." "The enemy's crossed the Sambre." "We're to march within three hours." "Any other British officers here?" "We march in three hours!" "Oh, God." "Emmy..." "Forgive me." "What...?" "What time is it?" "Sorry to disturb you, Sedley." "But we march in half an hour, do you see?" "And George and I might never come back and then your sister would have no one to look to but you." "I beg your pardon?" "But you do have enough gold to get you both back to England in case of a defeat?" "Damn it, sir, that's impossible!" "Do you try to frighten me?" "But you will look after Emmy." "I don't need you to tell me how to behave towards my sister, sir." "Of course, I'll look after her!" "Good man." "Um..." "What a long face, Rawdon." "Well... what it is, you see, Becky... if I am brought down" "I want to be sure to be able to leave you something." "Here's, uh... 230." "Better you have it, than I... if I do drop." "Rawdon..." "And, uh..." "I won't take my own horses, either of them." "I'll ride the general's second best." "I told him mine were lame, you know." "But they're not, of course and they should fetch a good price." "So should that young mare the general gave you." "And this dressing case cost me 200." "Well, I owe two on it." "And the gold tops and bottles... must be 30 or 40." "And both my best uniforms... worth a fortune." "This old coat will do for me... to kill or be killed in." "Please, Rawdon." "What?" "Do you think I have no feelings?" "There's no one like you, Becky." "Go in now." "You'll catch cold." "Come on, hey, boys!" "Give 'em what for!"