"Yeah, I know it's Christmas Eve, Jill." "I just don't know why I have to drive an hour and a half to your parents' house tomorrow when I'm going to see Ben on New Year's." "Yeah, I know New Year's isn't the same as Christmas." "I'm aware of that." "No, I'm not shopping now." "No, of course not." "Why would I wait until next week to get Ben his Christmas present when everything is marked down?" "That would be crazy." "Look, I have his present." "You just..." "I have to go, Jill." "No, no, no, no, you're open." "It's okay, thank you." "Hey, I beat the rush." "What, was there a looting?" "Where is everything?" "I saw something on the news, those actually give you a rash." "You don't..." "Attention, customers, once again, our store is now closed." "Have a merry Christmas!" "Hey, I need a present for my six-year-old, Mr. Elf." "I'm not an elf, jackass." "I'm shopping." "My mistake." "I'm sorry." "Just that elfin-like vest and bow tie..." "This would be cool if..." "That's great." "This was like this." "I didn't..." "What, do you stab people with this in prison?" "What is this, a prison toy?" "Is this the prison toy aisle?" "Please, Daddy, I really love it." "What's he love?" "Wouldn't you rather have the fire truck?" "No, that one's the coolest." "Please?" "Please?" " All right, go on." "Whatever." " Okay." "Hey, whatever that kid just got, I want one, too." " Wrap it up for me, all right?" " Okay." "All right." "Not, not..." "Don't do it too nice." "Make it look like I did it." "All right, thanks a lot." "Extra $5, if you do mine before you do theirs." " I'll let you go." " All right." "And it's a beautiful Christmas morning in Oakville." "Forget those winter parkas, folks, and come out to the Christmas Fair." "The winners of our annual competition will be announced at..." "I can't believe you got a football for Christmas." " Merry Christmas, mister." " Yeah, yeah." "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Call me." "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Go deep!" "Go!" " Hey, look out!" " Whoops." "You're here?" "Hey." "Hey!" "Sorry, mister." "Kevin, merry Christmas!" "It's so great to see you." " Really?" " Well, it's Christmas." "Come on in." "...into the end zone." "And the..." "How you doing there, Arthur?" "Interception on the two-yard line!" "Oh, you know Arthur." "Never one to fake emotion." "I'll just put this with the others." " Just the one gift, is it?" " Yeah." "All right, Arthur!" "How's our team doing?" "Oh, I forgot." "You prefer us to enjoy our time in silence." " Daddy!" "Daddy!" "Daddy!" " Benny!" "Get over here!" "My man!" "How you doing, buddy?" " Good." " I think it's getting a little windy in here." "A little windy, like maybe it's time for a Hurricane." "We're safe now." "It's over." "Oh, I think Daddy might have broken a vertebra." "Hey, Dad, guess what." "My class is going on a camping trip, wanna come?" "We're gonna make a fire and roast marshmallows and tell scary stories about monsters and stuff!" "I don't want to go." "I think camping stinks." "I don't like fires and marshmallows and ghost stories, but you go." "You go." "Hey, I'll buy you a new sleeping bag." "How about that?" " I guess." " Yeah, how about another Hurricane?" "That's okay." "You know, Mom said you probably wouldn't come." "Well, Mommy doesn't really know much, does she, Ben?" "Like how beautiful she is." "She has no idea how beautiful she is." " Hi, Jill." " Hello, Kevin." "I'm gonna go get your present!" "Yes, sir." "Get my present." "We'll pass out all the gifts, and then I gotta hit the road, okay, kiddo?" "What do you mean?" "You just got here." " It's Christmas, come on." " Yeah, I know it's Christmas, Jill." "I didn't drive all the way into the boondocks because it was Arbor Day, all right." "I don't even know why I invite you." "You know, you always come here and you complain about being with my parents." " Yeah, because your parents hate me." " They don't hate you." "They..." "They just are not expressive people." " Well, all right!" "Todd's here!" " Oh, Todd's here!" "Jill's boyfriend!" "Boyfriend?" "Yeah, remember?" "We decided we could date other people when we got divorced." "Well, yeah." "Well, of..." "I date." "I just don't bring all my girlfriends to your house on Christmas." "Why not?" "You could have fit four or five of them in a suitcase if you just let the air out of them." "Oh, snap!" " Hey, merry Christmas, Arthur." " Merry Christmas!" "Hey, Mrs. Conlon, how are you?" " There's something for everyone here." " Hi, honey." "Hey, you." "Kevin, Todd." "Todd, this is Kevin." "Heard a lot about you, Kevin." "Yeah, it's all lies probably." "Todd's a cardiologist." "Chief of Surgery." "Oh, that's great, I guess." "You know, I think what you do is not nearly as important as who you are." "Kevin has a crappy job." "I don't have a crappy job, Arthur." "I work in the music industry." "Well, if you call writing jingles music." "Couldn't make it in the big leagues." "You know, writing jingles is sort of a specialty in the music industry." "'Cause you have to tell an entire story, but you have to tell it in 30 seconds and you have to set it to music." ""So come to Rugs and More for a rug you can afford." ""They'll treat you above board at Rugs and..."" "...and More" "That's mine." "Snappy." "You're very talented." "Thanks a lot." "You know, after that commercial, the sale of rugs went up 17%." "And that's not even including pads, fella." "Big whoop." "Is that my Kevin?" "Is that my Kevin?" "Come on, honey, give the old lady a great big fat kiss." "Come here." " Granny, Granny, let's remember..." " What, what, what, what?" "Everyone's tongue in their own mouth." "Okay?" "I'll kiss you." "Just keep yours in there..." " Every party has a pooper." " That's okay." "All right." "It's okay." "Hey, look at the time." "I guess it's time for Kevin to put on the old Santa suit, hand out the gifts and get going." "Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!" "Merry Christmas!" "Merry Christmas to the Conlons." " It's for Jill." " Is it?" "Oh, it is Jill's." "Yeah." "Why is Todd Santa?" "Every year I'm Santa." "And every year you complain that the suit makes your butt look big." "That's tradition." " Here's your eggnog, Granny." "Spiked." " Thank you, son." "Thanks, Dad." "Dad, thank you." "It's beautiful." "Well, you're welcome, honey." "Of course, my real gift was that angioplasty that lead you to Todd." "Best thing that ever happened to you." "No offense taken, Arthur." "It's..." " All I can taste in here is egg." " Ma." "Okay." "Me next." "I'm opening Dad's present." "Yeah, open mine, it's the big one." "It's the biggest one in there." " What did you get him?" " I don't have to tell you." " What is it?" " A Fun-Bake Oven?" "Thanks, Dad." "I don't have one." "Yeah, that's what I was going for with that." "You know, I didn't..." "You don't have one, right?" "Were they all out of Tinker Bells?" "No." "I saw a six-year-old in the store going crazy for that, Arthur." " A boy?" " I think it was a boy, yes." "A boy." "You know, some of the best chef's in the world are men." "Hey, maybe one day you can grow up and be a real famous chef, huh?" "Yeah, I guess." "Thanks, Dad." "You got it." "Say, Ben, how about you open my present?" "Okay, here goes." "Wow!" "Cool!" "It's a train set!" "It's a starter train set." "We can add to it each year." " Oh, neat." " Look!" "Train set?" "Could you be any more predictable?" "Well, no one's gonna accuse you of that." "I seem to be missing a present for Jill." "It must be outside." "Oh, my God!" " Todd!" " For my baby." "Oh, my God!" " Whoa." " Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "What's the best present you ever got her, Kevin?" "Signed her divorce papers." "That's what she most wanted." "Okay, okey-dokey." "You know what, everyone?" "I'd really love to stay, but I've got to go." "Daddy!" "No, Daddy, I don't want you to go." "I know, Benners, but I have to." "I just got things I have to do." "But don't worry, 'cause next week you get to open your New Year's Eve gift." " An oven mitt?" " It's not an oven mitt." "Merry Christmas." "God bless you, everyone." "It was nice seeing you, Kevin." "You stop by anytime." "Yeah, right, sure." "I hope you're not planning on heading out of town, son." " The only way out is blocked." " What?" "A big boulder landed right in the middle of the road." "Can't move it on Christmas." "Why not?" "They would get paid double time." "Everybody loves to make double time." "Yeah!" "Now you can spend Christmas here." "Oh, I'm sorry, we don't have any more room." "Yeah, we do." "We have that big empty one next to mine, or the one across the hall, or the other one downstairs." "Oh, those." "Well, so I guess that means we'll be spending Christmas together, and pretending that we like it." "Now we can go to the fair together!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Don't those cops have anything better to do with their time?" "Like, I don't know, moving the giant boulder blocking the only road out of town." "Kevin, I'm asking you, one day." "Can't you just be nice for one day?" "What's your dad's lame theme this year?" "Good start." "I don't know." "But he can't lose." "He cannot handle another loss to the Hendersons." "Merry Christmas!" "Ho, ho, ho." " Hi, Santa." " Turn that frown upside down, or you'll get a big lump of coal in your stocking!" "Why don't you mind your business?" "Oh, look, the Hendersons." "Hiding behind a religious theme as usual." "How about, "Thou shall not steal thy neighbor's trash cans"?" "Hey, look, there's Grandpa!" " Peas on Earth." " Oh, my gosh!" "Grandpa!" "Peas on Earth." " Oh, wow!" " Merry Christmas." " Peas on Earth?" " Peas on Earth!" "Well, it looked better on paper." "It's better than last year's "Silent Knight,"" "when he had the mime dressed up in the suit of armor." "Peas on Earth." "Wow, Todd's really milking it." "Is this still about the Santa suit?" "Because you never liked being on stage with Dad, so stop complaining." "Yeah, I'm really upset." "I don't get to dress up like a giant pea." "Listen to me, this is why we're divorced, okay?" "You are a total child." "I mean, we're at a Christmas fair." "Everyone's having fun except for you, Kevin." "The world is full of joy and wonder." "Embrace it!" "I'm going to go ice the wonder and joy." "Dinner!" "Gobble, gobble, gobble!" " Come to the table." " Doesn't this look beautiful?" "Honey, how did you get this all out here?" "No, no, I think you go sit next to Ben." "Kevin, right there." "Looks wonderful." "To have everyone at the dinner table together." "So heartwarming." "And only a little awkward." "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Yes, I am." "Gravy." "Thank you." "Kevin, you know the routine." "Every year we go around the table and everyone says what they love about Christmas." "And then we have a yummy meal." "I'm starting a new tradition, Trudi, and that is every year I eat a whole bunch of yummy food and then I unbutton my pants and I take a nap on the couch." "I'll go first." "What I love about Christmas is sharing beautiful music that's special because we only hear it once a year." "I like putting together my display every year, even though I come in second to a cheesy nativity scene." "But, most of all, I like seeing my family happy." "Especially my daughter, now that she's found the man we always dreamed she'd find." "Again, no offense taken, Arthur." "I like anything to do with booze and making out." "Whatever happens in Oakville stays in Oakville." "Granny, nothing ever happens in Oakville." "You're so right." "Actually, Kevin, the home championship of the thumb-wrestling competition is right here in Oakville." "Did you say thumb-wrestling championship?" "I like the little things." "I like wrapping the presents and buying the tree." "I like getting toys and I like my parents being together." "So, my turn." "I try to think of Christmas not just one time a year, but more like a feeling that envelops you." "Noted author Burton Hills expressed it poignantly when he said," ""The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree" ""is the presence of a family all wrapped up together."" "Ta-da!" "Kevin, do you happen to have any Christmas thoughts?" "Sure." "Christmas is an over-commercialized holiday that stores use to overcharge you for crap you don't need." " Like little girlie ovens, right?" " It was unisex." " Dad, you don't like Christmas?" " No, no, no." "That's..." "No, I love Christmas!" "Ben, I love it." "I love Santa, I love the snow." "I love being with my family-ish." "I love..." "I can even name all the reindeer." "You got Donner, Blitzen, Prancer, Doc and Grumpy." "Those are dwarves." "Hey, I know my reindeer, little man!" "What are you talking about?" "No!" "It's Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen!" " You forgot Grumpy." " Not a reindeer." " Dwarf!" " He's on the waiting list." "I saw the paperwork." "It's in Central Booking." "Dad, this is so fun having you here." "I'm glad you stayed." "I wish it was Christmas every day." " Shall we." " That was strange." "Kevin!" "Kevin!" "Kevin!" "Yeah, you've had enough turkey." "We're going caroling." "No, I don't want to go caroling." "I just had all this turkey." "I should wait a half hour or I'll cramp up." "I can't sing." "You're not making Ben go." "Let me stay here with Ben." "It's torture." "I..." "Please, no." "Deck the halls with boughs of holly Fa la la la la, la la la la" "Try opening your mouth." "Tis the season to be jolly Fa la la la la, la la la la" "Good King Wenceslas last looked out on the Feast of Stephen" "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah" "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah" "Silent night holy night..." "Kevin, how old are you?" "All is calm" "Thirty-five-and-a-half." "You know, if you really think my family's carols are so boring, you should use your talent to come up with one of your own." "Jingle bells, Santa smells He's been drunk all day" "Hey, hey, wait up." "I have a surprise for you." "Really?" "Oh, look!" "Jill, this last year with you has been amazing." "You're beautiful, kind, and everything I could have ever hoped for." "And because I know you love Christmas," "I wanted to make it even more meaningful by asking you to spend every Christmas" "with me." "Jill," " will you marry me?" " No." "I think he was asking me." "I would love to marry you, Todd." "For you, my darling." "Ben, come here." "Oh, that's great!" "Magic time." "How did you plan that?" "Welcome aboard, lad." "To Todd and Jill." "12:00." "Thank God this day is over." "Go!" "Get down!" "Sorry, mister." "Kevin!" "Merry Christmas!" "It's so great to see you." "What?" "What day is it?" "What day..." "It's Christmas!" "Come on in, silly." "Christmas." "Again?" "What?" "What's happening?" "What's happening?" "Well, we were waiting for you to open the presents." "Arthur, Kevin's here!" "Interception on the two-yard line!" "I'll just put this with the others." "Just the one gift, is it?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Daddy!" "Daddy!" "Daddy!" "Hey." "Hi, Benners." " How's it going?" " Good." "Good." "Good." " Dad?" " Yes, sir." "Isn't it windy in here?" "Oh, yeah." "It's windy." "It's crazy!" "It's..." "It's crazy." "Wind's blowing..." "That wasn't a very strong Hurricane." "Yeah, it was like this off-shore storm thing." "Hey, Dad, guess what." "My class is going on a camping trip, wanna come?" "We're gonna make a fire and roast marshmallows and tell scary stories about monsters and stuff!" "Ben, could you do me a favor?" "Could you punch your daddy in the stomach as hard as you can?" " Huh?" " Yeah." "Yeah." "'Cause Daddy thinks he's having a dream." "I want you to really drill me." " Okay." " Okay." "I've been taking karate." "That's great." "That's great, Ben." "You know, Mom said you probably wouldn't come." "Really?" "Mommy's right behind me, isn't she?" "Hi, Jill, how are you?" "What's going on?" "What's happening?" "What's wrong with your stomach." "Oh, nothing." "I don't feel so good." "I'm going to go home soon." "I'm gonna go get your present!" "Okay, yeah." "Kevin, come on, you just got here." "Don't you want to see his face when he opens your present?" "No." "No, not really." " Well, all right!" "Todd's here!" " Todd's here!" "Jill's boyfriend!" "He's a cardiologist, right?" "Hopefully a neurologist?" " Did I tell you about him?" " No." "You couldn't have." "How could you tell me that?" "You know, 'cause you're not even here." "You're just a figment of my imagination." "I'm hallucinating, right?" "I mean, I'm hallucinating you." "I know you don't wanna be here, but could you just save the crazy for later?" "Hey, Arthur." "Merry Christmas." "Hey, Mrs. Conlon." "There's something for everyone here." " Hey, sweetie." " Hi." "Todd." " Kevin, this is Todd." " Heard a lot about you, Kevin." "Yeah, sure." "Chief of Surgery." "Cardiologist, right?" "You got a car for Jill in the driveway." "Wow." "Yeah." "Thanks for spoiling the surprise, there, Kev." "Todd..." "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Oh, my God!" " Todd!" " For my baby." "Wow." "What's the best present you ever got her, Kevin?" "A nervous breakdown." "Is that my Kevin?" "Is that my Kevin?" "Come on, give the old lady a big kiss." "Okay, okay." "I waited a whole year for that?" "Okay, you know what?" "All right." "That's great." "I really have to be going, everyone." "Merry Christmas." "It was nice seeing you, Kevin." "You stop by anytime." "Sure." "Look, Benners, I'll be back in a week." "The present under the tree is just a joke." "I'm going to get you a real present in a week." "I hope you're not planning on heading out of..." "No." "No!" "No, no, no." "You can't." "You..." "No." "No." "You can't, 'cause I'm not listening." "Bye-bye." "Cop car, elfin band." " Cue Santa." " Merry Christmas." "Ho, ho, ho." " Hi, Santa." " Turn that frown upside down, or you'll get a big lump of coal in your stocking!" "I have to go home." "I don't feel well." "Don't you want to see Dad's display?" "We just got here." "No, well, some of us have been here longer than others." "There's nothing wrong with you." "You're just being a baby." "Easy, easy." "Gentle, gentle." "Easy..." "I'm going crazy." "I'm going crazy." "No, you know what?" "It's just stress." "You're stressed out." "Get some sleep." "Everything will be fine." "Okay." "Nighty-night." "Christmas is officially over." "I quit." "Oh, no." "No, no." "No way." "Look out!" "Sorry, mister." "Kevin, merry Christmas!" "It's so great to see you." "I need to talk to Jill." "Well, I hope Santa brought someone some manners this Christmas." "Arthur, where's Jill?" "Jill!" "Interception." "Interception on the two-yard line!" "Jill!" " What?" " Jill, the craziest thing just happened to me." "You're not gonna believe this, but I'm living the same day over and over and over again." "Oh, Kevin, that's ridiculous." "I know it sounds ridiculous, but it's not ridiculous." "I am living every day over and over again." "I knew what Trudi was going to tell me at the door." "I knew what the announcer was going to say on the football game." "I knew that Arthur was going to be rude to me." "I know that wasn't a stretch, he's always rude to me." "But I knew he was gonna be rude to me in this case in particular 'cause I'm living this same day over and over." "And I know there's a guy in the driveway that's about to tell me that there's a big boulder blocking the only way out of town." "And now you're talking gibberish." " And I wish I could help you but I..." " Okay, listen." "You think I'm talking gibberish, look." "I'm serious, Jill, come on." "I'm telling the truth." " Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" " Tell her." "Tell her about the boulder." " The one blocking the highway?" " See!" " Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" " So what?" "You heard on the radio and you're trying to come off as some psychic" " and you're coming off as psychotic." " Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" " Todd!" " He got you a new car." "That's your car." "He bought that for you." "Tonight, he's gonna ask you to marry him." "And you're gonna say yes." "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "All right, that's what this is about." "Someone told you about Todd and you're all upset." "Listen, Kevin, we have to move on with our lives, okay?" "I already have." "No, this isn't about Todd or moving on with our lives." "It's about me knowing everything that's gonna happen." "Don't you understand?" "I know what you're going to say next." "Okay, what am I going to say next?" "Well, I don't know because we haven't had this conversation yet." "But tomorrow, when we have this conversation," "I'll know what you're about to say next." "Good." "Well, today I'm about to say you're acting like a jackass." "Well, that's fantastic 'cause tomorrow, when we have this conversation, and I say, "I know what you're gonna say next," and you say," ""What am I going to say next?"" "I'm gonna say, "You're going to say I'm acting like a jackass."" "You'll know that I'm telling the truth." "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Okay, so what am I gonna say next?" "You're gonna say I'm acting like a jackass." "Well, anyone could have guessed that." "Okay, so what am I gonna say next?" "You're gonna say that I'm acting like a jackass." "And then, after I say that, you're going to say," ""Well, anyone could have guessed that."" "And after I say that, you're going to say, "Can't you think of anyone but yourself, Kevin?"" "And then you're going to hit me." "You're going to hit me after that." "Can't you just let me have one little day?" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" " That's my point!" "It's not just one day!" " Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Well, I try to think of Christmas not as a time of year, but more like a warm feeling that envelops you." "The noted author Burton Hills expressed it poignantly when he said," ""The best of all gifts under any Christmas tree" " "is the presence of a happy family..." " "presence of a happy family..." " "...all wrapped up together." - "...all wrapped up together."" "Are you a fan of Hills'?" "Yeah, actually, he's a dear friend of mine." "Well, that's odd." "He's been dead over 30 years." "Really?" "That's probably why he hasn't returned any of my calls." "Any thoughts of your own about Christmas, Kevin?" "I'll be glad when it's over." "Dad, you don't like Christmas?" "Oh, no, no, no." "I didn't mean that." "I didn't mean that, Ben." "I love Christmas." "Me, too." "I'm glad you stayed, Dad, it's so fun having you here." " I wish it was Christmas..." " Wait, wait, wait." "That thing you're about to say, Ben, don't say it, okay?" "In fact, don't say it ever again, okay?" "Kevin, what is your problem?" "Nothing, nothing whatsoever." "Boy, those yams look fantastic, huh?" "Trudi, you devil." "Deck the halls with boughs of holly Fa la la la la, la la la la" "This is the last time I'll have to sing this Fa, la, la, la, la" "Hurray for me" "If you really do not like the songs that my family sings, you should write one of your own." "I thought I just did." "It doesn't matter, 'cause tonight is the last night" "I'm going to have to sing that dumb song." "And tonight is the last night" "I'm going to have to watch Todd ask you to marry him." "Todd is not gonna ask me to marry him." "Okay." "Jill, will you marry me?" "I would love to marry you, Todd." "Ben, come here." " Congratulations!" " Thank you." "Magic time." "How did you plan that?" "Oh, dear." "Hey, buddy, remember that thing at dinner I asked you not to say?" "You didn't say it did you?" "That's a good boy." "Hey, good boy!" "I love you, and I'll see you in a week, okay?" " Okay." " All right." "Hey, look out!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Come on!" "I got it!" "I got it!" "Well, that didn't work." " Good night, Dad." " Good night, buddy." "Let me hear you play your song now, sucker." "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" " Hey, look out!" " Whoops." " Sorry, lady." " Doesn't matter!" "Nothing matters!" "What's that supposed to mean?" "It means my behavior has absolutely no consequence." "What?" "I can say or do whatever I want, Trudi." "Yeah." "Where's that wonderful husband of yours?" "There he is, sitting on the couch like a big blob doing nothing, staring at the TV." "Don't make the slightest effort to get up or acknowledge my presence." "And, by the way, Arthur, your beloved Eagles, they get their butts handed to them 37-17." "You're being very rude." "Rude?" "No, I'm being honest." "Trudi, it's Christmas." "Let's be honest, okay?" "Hey, Ben!" "Daddy!" "Daddy!" "Benners!" "Hey, let's see what Grandma Trudi made." "Kevin, those pies are for after dinner." "Carpe diem, Trudi, seize the pie." " Cool." " Jill!" "You don't need forks?" "Forks?" "No way, dude, we're monsters." "We don't need no stinking forks." "Mom says I'm not supposed to have pie before dinner." "Mom said a lot of things like, "Oh, Kevin, I love you." ""You're the only man for me." ""There'll never be another man after you leave my life." ""You don't look fat in those jeans." They were all lies, lies." "Kevin, what are you doing?" "Eating pie." "Oh, well, that's really going to help your butt to jeans ratio, isn't it?" "It doesn't matter, 'cause tomorrow I'm gonna weigh exactly the same anyway." "Yeah, well, I wouldn't necessarily brag about that." "Christmas." "Be nice." "Come on." "Before you get the door, I have to tell you a story." "A friend of mine, he has a..." "He has a doorbell." "Right, he was cheating on his girlfriend." "At Christmas time, he felt so bad about it, he bought her a car." "Pathetic." "Real pathetic." "I'm sorry." " Wow, what made you do this?" " Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "You shouldn't have." "Should you?" "What I love about Christmas is sharing beautiful music that's special because you only get to hear it once a year." "You know, it's funny to hear you say that, Trudi, because I, too, love those same songs every year." "And one in particular has really become my favorite." " Hark the Herald Angels Sing." " Me, too." "Really?" "I'm going to sing a little for you." "Hark the herald" "angels sing." " Now do Little Town of Bethlehem." " And Jingle Bells." "Kevin, you know I cannot abide belching at the dinner table." "Honey, go in the kitchen and get some milk." "I don't need any." "Okay." "Are you insane?" "He's on drugs, look at his eyes." "You're a doctor, Todd!" "What I'm grateful for are these yummy yams." "How'd you get them so fluffy good?" "I will never hear that song the same again." "Actually, you will, Trudi." "Tomorrow you'll hear it the same way again." "Since we're talking about being grateful, I'm grateful that Jill divorced you and this will be the last Christmas you'll ever spend here." "If only that were true." "Is that my beeper?" "You know, Kevin, I never liked you." "You never made my little girl happy." "That's not true, Arthur, I did make your little girl happy." "It was a long time ago, but I brought you some moments of joy along the way, didn't I?" "You leave me out of this." "Merry Christmas, everyone." "Merry Christmas!" "Ho, ho, ho." "Turn that frown upside down, or you'll get a big lump of coal in your stocking!" "Can it!" "Merry Christmas, everyone." "Merry Christmas!" "Ho, ho, ho." " Turn that frown upside down or you'll..." " Stuff it!" " Merry Christmas, everyone." " Hi." "Merry Christmas!" "Ho, ho, ho." "Turn that frown..." "Stop it!" "Kevin, that's Santa!" "Stop it!" "Stop it!" " Kevin!" " Kevin!" "Oh, no, no, no." "That's no fair." "I can't fight Jesus." "Jesus, that's not a very Christian thing to do!" "Not my son!" "Arthur, do something!" "My peas!" "No one touches my peas." "Nobody asked you to put up your display here, Conlon." "You're a loser." "You're always gonna be a loser." "Hey, Henderson, you want to go?" "Come on, let's do it!" "Todd!" "Sorry." "Arthur, be careful!" "Your bridge!" " You knock that off!" " Mom!" "You hit Jesus!" " Jesus is coming!" "Jesus is coming!" " Pray for me!" " Hey!" "Hey!" " Jesus started it." "Jesus should be disqualified!" "He should be disqualified." "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "You ruined my peas." "I would have won this year." "No, you would not have won this year, Arthur, and it's because of me the Hendersons didn't win this year, either." " The whole day has been spoiled." " You're welcome!" "Hey, kiddo." "You ruined the fair." "I know." "I'm sorry." "There's going to be another Christmas Fair tomorrow and you won't even remember this one, I promise." "There's another Christmas Fair tomorrow?" "I promise." "I'm sorry, Ben." "Nothing?" "All righty, oven, let's see how you stack up against Todd's train set." "Hey, this isn't such a bad toy." "Look at Todd's little station agent now." "First of all, it's not Todd's toy, it's Ben's." "Fine." "You know what?" "Just take his side 'cause you never supported me anyway." "It's fine." "That's ridiculous, Kevin." "Is it?" "Really?" "So it's just a coincidence when my music career failed, you bailed." " That just happened for no reason?" " I am not the one who bailed." "I'm not the one who stopped believing in you, Kevin." "You know, I don't know what's going on with you today, but I cannot wait till you leave and today's over." "Well, that makes two of us, Jill." "Look, I know you're mad at me right now, but it doesn't matter 'cause you're not going to hate me any more tomorrow than you will for the rest of the year, because none of this even matters." "I have no idea what you're talking about." "But right now, Ben is in his room really hurt, and that matters now." " Are you okay, sweetie?" " Yeah, I guess." "Kind of a funny day, huh?" "Why did Daddy beat up Santa?" "Well, honey, because he didn't think he was the real Santa." "He thought he was an imposter come to spy on the real Santa and steal all of his present-making secrets." "So, really, your dad's a hero." "So, what, Daddy saved Christmas?" "Yeah, that's right." "All because he loves you more than anything in the whole world." "Don't you forget that, no matter what ridiculous things he does." "You are really lucky to have him for a dad." "Good night, sweetheart." " What're you drinking?" " A lot." "Good." "I'll join you." "Okay." "What's a nice guy like you doing in this part of the house at this time of night?" "Thinking." "Thinking about Jill." "Mostly about my marriage and how..." "How did it all go so wrong?" "For starters, you were a big sap who only saw what he didn't have." "I thought you were the family member who liked me." "I am." "Sad, isn't it?" "I always thought the break up was Jill's fault because she's the one that left, you know." "But I've been thinking maybe I drove her away." "I once lost a guy." "Broke my heart, but I didn't give up." "I snuck into his apartment and lay on the bed, surrounded by rose petals." " And I shaved a little heart..." " Yeah, that's..." "You probably told me that once before or something." " Well, I did." " No, I believe you." "I mean, sometimes you got to pull out the big guns." "That's a big gun." "That's a bazooka." "Granny, that's..." "I don't think I'm gonna try the heart thing." "It's not my style, I'm a purist." "Maybe on my back." "No, I..." "You got the picture?" "I do have the picture and I understand that" "I'm going to have to change some things about myself if I want my family back, and I thank you." "Thank you." "Good night." "Yeah." "That one's on the house." "That's for you." "I got it!" "I got it!" "Go!" "Look out!" "Thanks, mister." "Kevin, merry Christmas!" "It's so great to see you." "Hi, Trudi." "Wow, you look beautiful today." "Just beautiful." "Well, thank you, so do you." "Come on in." "Okay." "Arthur, how are ya?" "Hey, Arthur, do you need anything?" "Like, I don't know, a beer?" "No." "Well, if you do need anything, anything at all, you let me know because I'm your man." " Daddy!" "Daddy!" "Daddy!" " Benners!" "Get over here, boy, 'cause there's a Hurricane!" "Wow, that does not get any easier." " Huh?" " Nothing." "Hey, Dad, guess what." "My class is going camping." "I know you're going camping and I'm coming, and I got you a lot of marshmallows, new sleeping bags and everything." "And I'm brushing up on all my best ghost stories 'cause that's the kind of super great Dad that I am." " Cool!" " Yeah!" " Hey, Kevin." " Oh, hi, Jill." "I didn't know you were standing there." " Merry Christmas." " Merry Christmas." "Merry Christmas." "Kevin..." "Yoo-hoo, everybody, time to open presents." "Sometimes daddies have to play a little dirty." " Thanks, Mom." " That's beautiful." "A hand knit." "You put a lot of love into that, huh?" "Damn straight." "I swiped it off some old biddy at bingo." "Hey, Benners, why don't you open Todd's gift?" "That's sweet of you, Kevin." "Okay." "Thank you, Todd." "Whoa!" "That's not the gift I gave him." "That's not what I bought him." "Somebody doesn't know much about six-year-old boys, does he?" "I guess you wear the red suit, but it doesn't make you Santa, huh, Todd?" " I'm telling you, that's not what I..." " Todd..." "Hey, why don't you open my gift now, okay?" "Here." "Mine." "From Daddy." "Yes!" "A train set!" "Wow, cool!" "Thanks, Dad." "Wait..." "That is the gift that I bought him." "Todd, calm down." "Todd, really, man, it's between a father and his son." "You're kind of..." "It's inappropriate." "Kevin's was the Christmas tree wrapping paper, Todd." "I never forget wrapping paper." "He must have switched the paper when nobody was looking." "Yeah, Todd, I really switched the wrapping paper when I don't even know what's on the inside of the packages." "Are you even hearing yourself?" "This guy, he's..." "He's really flipping out, Trudi." "Kevin, that was a really great gift." "It was nothing." "Hate to do this to you, Todd old buddy, but you're not going to feel anything tomorrow." "Come on, Todd, everyone's waiting for you." "Just securing my belongings." "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ouch." "I mean, Todd, are you okay?" "Here you go, sir." "Lottery ticket?" "Lottery ticket?" "No, I'll play the lottery tomorrow." " There isn't a lottery tomorrow." " Sure there isn't." " Here you go, sir." " Thanks a lot." "Can I have a lottery ticket?" "17, 37..." "Do you mind?" " Dad!" " Hey, Benners!" "Who wants some fresh hot apple cider?" " With bourbon?" " Yeah, that one's yours over there." "That's very nice of you, Kevin." "I know." "I mean, you're welcome." "And, hey, sorry Todd couldn't be here, but I'm sure his ankle's gonna heal up and he'll be as good as new in no time." "I have to go." "Got something really important to do." " Where are you going?" " You'll see." "Hi, Santa." "Merry Christmas!" "Ho, ho, ho." " Peas on Earth!" " Hey, look, there's Grandpa!" " Peas on Earth." " Looks like Todd made it after all." "That's not Todd." "It's Dad!" "Hey, Benners!" "Look, your daddy's a pea!" "Come on, Arthur, let's rock it, bro!" "Come on." "I'm a little too old for this stuff." "Don't you think?" "No way, you're like a man half your age, you kidding me?" "Go, Dad!" "Come on, Arthur!" "Peas on Earth!" " I can't believe that's my Kevin." " Your Kevin?" "Yes, my old Kevin, past tense." "You didn't hear that." "You were..." " Honey, what are you doing here?" " I didn't want to disappoint Arthur." "Oh, not to worry." "Kevin filled in for you." "Peas on Earth." "Peas on Earth." "Peas on Earth." "What I love about Christmas is sharing beautiful music that's special because you only hear it once a year." "I couldn't agree with you more, Trudi." "And you know what?" "I don't know, it's sort of like us being all here together today made all the more special because it only happens once a year." "I love you guys." "Well, I guess I'll go next." "Well, I like putting together my display every year." "Although I came in second again." "I mean, what do I have to do to beat these Hendersons?" "Stand on my head?" "Well, I must say it was nice having Kevin participate for once." "Thank you, Arthur, and you're right, there's nothing like family spending time together." "I mean there's nothing like it." "It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from my favorite author Burton Hills, when he writes," ""The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree" ""is the presence of family all wrapped up in each other."" "Kevin, that was really beautiful." "You think so?" "But that's what I was going to say." " Excuse me?" "Todd, what?" " You stole my quote." "I'm telling you, that's one of my favorite quotes." "Todd." "Todd." "Todd." "Wow, Trudi, that was so delicious." "You really outdid yourself." " Well, thank you." " I'll take this." "You know what?" "Why don't you guys go in the family room?" "I'll do all the dishes." " You?" " Yeah." "Wait, you know how to do that?" "Yeah, I can do it." "You guys go relax in the family room." "Go, go, go." "I'll do the dishes." "It's okay." "Please let me do the dishes." "Let me do something for the family." "Thanks." "Well, that was a surprise." "Maybe Kevin got the Christmas spirit." "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Boy, Kevin sure has been in the kitchen a long time." "He's probably putting away leftovers." "Well, that's thoughtful." "No." "By "putting away," I mean "eating."" "Okay, I'm all finished!" "Who wants to go caroling?" "All right." "God rest ye merry, gentlemen Let nothing you dismay" "Remember, Christ, our savior Was born on Christmas day" "There's nothing better than bringing people joy on Christmas." "O tidings of comfort and joy" "Hey, hey, wait up." "I have a surprise for you." "Yeah?" "Todd?" "Needs a little something." "I have a surprise for you." "Yeah?" ""Todd Hates Jill"?" "Better." "I have a surprise for you." ""Todd Loves Missy"?" "Wait!" "Wait!" "Who's Missy?" "Better be his cat." "Not so high!" "Merry..." "I got it!" "Go!" "Look out!" "Kevin, there you are." "What took you so long?" "We've been waiting for you." "I know." "I'm sorry I'm late." "I had a bunch of errands to run." "But, hey, here I am now." "Merry Christmas, Trudi." "Arthur?" "Arthur, you old dog." "Guess what?" " These are for you." " Really?" " Why?" " 'Cause I love you, buddy." "And I know candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker." "Oh!" "You little devil you." "Good boy." " Don't drink it all in one place." " Daddy!" "Hey, Benners, look at this, a comic book with monsters in it." "Cool!" "And, of course, we have sweets for the sweet." "Kevin, thank you." "Last but not least." "Jill." "Jill." "Jill." "Jill." "Jill!" "Look at that." "Come on, kiddo, let's go." "Todd, come on outside!" "Look at this." "Come on." "Come on." " I bought you a brand new car!" " Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "Ho!" "What?" "What?" "I'm just kidding." "I'm just kidding." "Look how red he got, he's all red." "I'm just kidding, Jill." "I got you this instead." "Merry Christmas, Jill." "This is for you." "Open it up." "Go ahead." "A diamond bracelet." "Merry Christmas, Jill." "That's beautiful." "Kevin!" "I don't know what to say." "She loves diamonds." "That is a lovely present." "Thank you so much." "Merry Christmas." ""The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree" ""is the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other."" "Kevin, that was beautiful." "Wait, that's exactly what I was going to say." "That's, like, my favorite quote." "I suppose you were also going to say that Christmas is like a warm blanket enveloping you, bringing back wondrous memories of childhood?" " Yes!" " Todd..." " Wow!" " Stop it." "You all don't understand." "First he tries to steal my gifts, and then he knocks me down, and now he's trying to steal my words." "Todd, you been working extra shifts at the hospital, buddy?" "Are you going to ask her to marry you, too?" " Are you?" " Excuse me?" "Because I was going to do it later." "Marry me." "Marry me, Jill." "Marry me before he steals my proposal, too." "See?" "I beat you to the punch, didn't I?" "Didn't I?" "So you want to get married?" "Are you sure you're okay?" "That was quite a shot you took from the good doctor there, sister." "Yeah, I'll be fine." "I love this time of year." "It's so beautiful out, isn't it?" "Yeah." "Boy, this is weird." "My ex-husband is being wonderful and my boyfriend is having a nervous breakdown." "Todd will be okay." "He just needs some rest, I think." "A good night's sleep." "Did you just call me wonderful?" "You did." "Wonderful is one of those words that's overused a lot." "But in this case..." "In this case, I think it was appropriate." "Call me wonderful again." " Wonderful." " Yeah." "No, it works there." "Does Todd ever make you laugh?" "No, not so much." "But he's never made me cry, either." "Ouch." "Fair enough." "Did I ever make you happy?" "What?" "Of course you did." "Never been happier than when I was with you." "I mean, till..." "Since I met..." "I mean, until I met Todd." "I'm very happy with Todd." "But you, you were so sweet." "You wrote all those songs for me." "And I remember when we were dating and you broke into my house and put that necklace under my pillow." " What kind of guy does that?" " A crazy guy." "I was stalking you." "But I just wasn't good at hiding myself." "I was stalking and dating." "And then when you didn't become this famous musician overnight, you changed." "You completely changed." "You sat around and you sulked and blamed everyone else, and I just didn't want you to bring Ben and me down with you." "I want to pay you back for all those lost good times, so that's why I want you to have this." "What's that?" "It can't be the winning numbers." "Yes, those are the winning numbers." "It's $5 million." "It's yours." "Daggonnit!" "Oh, my gosh!" "Todd, are you okay?" "Coming around!" "Look out!" "To my special Kevin." "Come on!" "Kevin!" "To Dad!" "Jill, are we going for a walk or not?" "It's almost 11:00." " Do you have a curfew?" " No." "No, of course not." "It's not like at midnight I turn into a pumpkin or something." "It's just..." "I'm leaving soon and I'm not spending enough time with you." "All right." "Well, I'll just go check on Todd." "He's really upset." "No." "Don't check on Todd." "No, don't go in there." " What do you mean?" "He's my boyfriend." " No, I bought you a bracelet." "You think I owe you because you bought me something?" "A diamond bracelet, Jill." "Diamond!" "You know, you can't buy me, Kevin, and no diamond bracelet is going to change that." "No, just..." "Okay, maybe you're right." "$5 million, that's for you." "From me to you." "Go ahead, go ahead. $5 million." "You are unbelievable." "You are unbelievable." "You think it's about the money?" "You think I'm with Todd because he makes a lot of money?" "I was with you, you had nothing." "Remember?" "I fell in love with your sense of humor, your thoughtfulness, your creativity." "Not this." "You can give me whatever you want, Kevin, but it's not gonna make me love you again." "I gotta get out of this town." "Okay." "Okay." "Positive." "Negative." "Negative." "Negative." "Negative." "Come on, come on, come on." "Yes!" "No!" "Thanks for coming to get me, Todd." "No problem, Kevin." "Good thing that hiker found you." "At least you survived the fall." "Believe me, I've survived a lot worse." "Kevin, there's something I want to ask you." "Okay." "I was planning to ask Jill to marry me tonight, but because of your suicide attempt..." "Whoa, whoa, wait." "My what?" "Well, obviously, you have a problem with our relationship, and I want to let you know that I am perfectly willing to wait until you feel better about it." "I don't want to hurt you." "Wow, Todd, that's really nice of you." "You're a nice guy." " Well..." " I mean, you're certainly nicer than I am." "It's obvious you make Jill very happy, Todd." "So if you want to marry her, I think you should ask her whenever you want." "Thanks, Kevin, thank you." "Let's get you home." " You all right?" "Watch your head." " Yeah." "I got it!" "Go!" " Look out!" " Merry Christmas!" "Kevin, it's great to see you!" "Merry Christmas, Trudi." "It's good to see you, too, and I know you're just being positive, but I know there was a time that you genuinely were happy to see me, and I want to tell you I really blew that, and I'm sorry." "Hey, Arthur." "Merry Christmas." "You know, if it's not too late to get a bet in, take the Cowboys." "They're going to win." "Interception on the two-yard line!" "Wow, a cardiologist." "Saving lives." "That's pretty commendable." "I told you." "He's acting strange." " So exciting!" " It's big, whatever it is." "Ben, when you open my gift, it's just a joke, really." "I'm going to give you a really cool one" " later on that you'll love." " A Fun-Bake oven?" "Okay." "What were you thinking?" "I wasn't." "I wasn't thinking at all." "I waited until the last minute." "It was irresponsible of me, and I apologize to the entire family." "Wow, that was honest." " Are you okay?" " Yeah." "No, I just have a lot on my mind." "Work stuff." "What, you can't think of a rhyme for "peanutty goodness"?" " Dad." " No, it's okay, Jill." "He's not wrong." "I haven't been lighting the music world on fire lately, so..." "Dad, I think you're the best singer ever." "Thank you, Ben." "Well, merry Christmas, Mrs. Conlon." "Thank you, Todd." "Look!" "Pasties." "I haven't worn these in years." "They're earrings." "...more like a warm feeling that envelops you." " To Todd." " To Todd." "To Todd." " Hey." " Hey." " You all right?" " Oh, yeah." "Wow!" "Nice rock." "I'm glad you finally got a ring the size of one you deserve." "I loved the ring you bought me." "I always told you size didn't matter." "Yeah." "The day you said yes, that was one of the happiest days of my life, Jill." "Me, too." "You know, just because things didn't end happily, does not mean that they never were happy." "If you could live one day over and over again, what day would you pick?" "The day Ben was born." "What about you?" "The day Ben was born, yeah." "The day I asked you to marry me." "The day we got married." "You're in all my good days." "And some of my not so good days, too." "Like today, I wouldn't want to live today over and over again." "That would be awful." "All my failures adding up to you marrying another guy." "If I had to live that day over and over again, that would be hell." "Thank goodness you don't have to live today over and over, then." "Yeah." "Kevin," "I've taken my life in a new direction." "Now you have the opportunity to make your life whatever you want it to be." "You're right." " I'm gonna go inside." " Go ahead." "Go deep!" "Merry..." "I got it!" "Whoa!" "Look out!" "Merry Christmas, Trudi." "Kevin, we've been waiting for you." " Todd's already here." " I know." "I'm sorry I'm late." "That's okay." "You don't know who Todd is, do you?" "No." "No." " So I called..." " Merry Christmas, everybody." " Kevin!" " Merry Christmas, Arthur." "Oh, merry Christmas, sweetheart." " Daddy!" "Daddy!" "Daddy!" " Benners!" "Get over here." "Hey, how you doing, kiddo?" "Good." "Mom said you weren't coming." "And miss spending time with my favorite guy in the whole world?" "That's never ever going to happen, Ben." "Listen to me very carefully." "You're the most important thing in my life." " I love you." " Me, too." "I can't wait to go camping." "You know about the camping trip?" "Yeah, I know about camping." "And I know about the camping trip and we're going to have a lot of fun." "And I hope when we're camping that there's no Hurricanes." "You must be Kevin." " I'm Todd." " Hi, Todd." "Nice to meet you." "Nice to meet you, too." "We've been waiting for you to open up presents." "That's nice." "If it's okay with everyone, I'd like to actually wait a little while to open the presents, 'cause I'd really like to go to the fair." "Look who's here." "Happy holidays." "Mommy, where's Daddy going?" "Honey, Christmas fairs aren't really his thing." "I'm surprised he lasted as long as he did." "Merry Christmas." "Ho, ho, ho." "There's Santa!" "Hey, look, there's Grandpa!" "Silent night..." "Not anymore!" "Check it out." "Rock the house, it's time to party" "Fa la la la la, la la la la" "Don't care who's been nice or naughty" "Fa la la la la, la la la la" "Santa's bringing lots of bling" "Fa la la la la, la la la la" "Come on ya'll, it's time to sing" "Fa la la la la, la la la la" "Daddy!" "Christmas comes but once a year" "Fa la la la la, la la la la" "Sing it loud and let me hear" "Fa la la la la, la la la la" "Wave your hands and stomp your feet" "Fa la la la la, la la la la" "Let's all groove to the Christmas beat" "Fa la la la la, la la la la" "Peas on Earth, huh?" "Peas on Earth!" " Happy holidays!" " Peas on Earth!" "Yeah, Dad!" "And now the moment everyone's been waiting for, Best Overall Award!" " Oh, please." " And the winner is..." "Goodness me, the Hendersons will have to wait until next year!" "Because for the first time in 17 years, congratulations, Arthur Conlon!" "Yeah!" "Thank you." "This has been a long time coming." "But as Winston Churchill once said, never give in, never give in, never, never, never." "Oh, sure, he was talking about fighting evil, but make no mistake about it, evil was defeated here today!" "Wait, I'm not done!" "I'm not done." "I want to thank my wife, my daughter." "But most of all I want to thank my son-in-law, Kevin." "Well, former, and, well, Todd was there, too, and..." "Thank you." "This is for you, buddy!" "Thank you!" "All right!" "Dad, you were great." "Yeah, you were!" "So how did you do all the spins and that thing with your head?" "Oh, that's just a little hobby I picked up in my spare time." "You know, I'd say..." "I got it all from Arthur." "Remember he said he'd stand on his head to win this contest?" "I did?" "Well, no, you know what I mean." "Let's just say you inspired me." "Hey, wait a minute you guys." "I got an idea." "Let's go to the pub, huh?" "Winner buys, I'll race you." "Sounds like fun, but I can't go." "There's something I gotta do." "I'll catch up with you guys at home later." "It's okay." "Listen, be a good boy." "I love you." "Well, all right." "Okay, let's go." "Okey-dokey." "Just me and you now." "Here you go, guys." "Cookies are done." " Wow!" "These are delicious." " Wow!" "Monster Melt." "I've never heard of this." "That's 'cause you're the only kid in the world with a Monster Melt." "Check this out." "You plug this in." "You heat it up." "You put all the goo in here." "Whatever you want." "You turn this crank and then, when it's all cooked and completed..." "Cool!" "And you're the only kid in the world that has one of these." "And I made it so it runs on batteries, so you can take it camping." "You can make monsters melts for all your friends." " Benners, you're gonna be the man." " Way cool!" "Hey, listen, Todd's gift is pretty cool, huh?" "They're both cool!" "That's amazing, Kevin." "You really put a lot of time and effort into that." "You have no idea." "Well, I think we all should toast to Kevin for making this such a lovely day." "It was nothing, really." "It was just another day." " To Kevin." " To Kevin." "To Kevin, who continues to amaze me." "Us." "Continues to amaze us." "To Kevin." " Those cookies were amazing, Kevin." " Thank you." " Let's go, you lazy bones, let's go caroling." " Okay." "I gotta tell you, Kevin." "You cook almost as good as Trudi." "Better." "Hey, Benners!" "You coming caroling with us, huh?" "I think you should grab a jacket because it's getting a little windy in here!" "You mean, like a Hurricane?" "No!" "That's between you and your dad." "This is more like a tornado!" "Todd." "Yeah, I wouldn't..." "Yeah." "It's a crazy storm!" "Dorothy, Dorothy, look!" "Todd..." "Oh, no." " Oh, my God." " Clean up on aisle five." " Nice!" " That's great." "Well..." "There's one more song I would like to sing." "All right, let's take it from the top, you guys." "Okay." " Come on, guys." " Ready?" "Do you believe in Santa Claus?" "Didn't think I could" "Never seen a miracle" "Never thought I would" "Yeah, it's Christmas time" "And I hear sleigh bells chime" "That's the jingle sound that makes my world go round" "Yeah, it's Christmas, Christmas time" "I look into my baby's eyes" "It's Christmas time" "And it took me so long" "But I finally see" "There's something about Christmas" "That made a change in me" "Yeah, Dad!" " All right!" " That was wonderful!" "Bravo!" "That was good." "What did you think of that, Ben?" "Doesn't rhyme with "peanutty goodness," but..." "Good job, man." " Thank you, thank you." " I really misread you, Kevin." "You know, you're a good kid." "Thanks, Arthur." "Thanks a lot, man." "You know what?" "I kind of owe you guys an apology 'cause I've been acting like a creep lately." "But if you'll forgive me, Arthur and Trudi, I'd like to make up for the time we've lost." "You're not my son-in-law anymore, but I still love you like a son." "Wow." "Wow." "That fanny is as good as Christmas pudding!" "Come on, sugar." "I always believed in you." "Oh, Kevin, you've given Ben and me the best Christmas ever." "I just don't get it." "It seems like you've become this new person, like..." "Maybe you've been like this for a long time, I haven't noticed, but it seems like you've became a new person overnight." "I am a new person, Jill." "I am, and I don't care if tomorrow you don't remember a single thing about today." "Because right now, this moment is the most..." "This is the most important thing in the world to me." "I think I'll remember today." "I wish you didn't have to leave tomorrow." "Me, too." "This has been pretty much a perfect Christmas." "I wish it was Christmas every day." " No!" " What?" "What time is it?" "What time is it?" "Just..." "What time is it?" " What time is it?" " It's a few minutes after midnight." "It's the day after Christmas, Jill." "Jill, it's the day after Christmas." "It's December 26." "And the next day will be the 27th, and the day after that will be the 28th!" "Don't you understand, honey?" "I'm free." "It's over!" "We can be together!" "Or apart." "Jill, we can be whatever you want." "I know what I want."