"The past everything that went before, is a dry leaf fallen from a dead tree." "The tree's been cut down, the leaf crushed by feet and ground into earth." "So now there is only the memory of trees." "I am the disease that rots the bark of trees." "I am rust and gravity." "In my dreams we are all together again and my mom is happy." "But then the leaves all fall off the trees and my dad is gone." ""I call out to him, but wherever he is he can't hear me."" "Mr Clark, please." "This is AP English." "If you can't extend a modicum of respect to your classmates, you are free to go right on down the hall to auto shop." "Sorry." "Thank you." "Miss Denning, how do you feel about that piece of writing?" "Anyone else?" "Praise, criticism for Miss Denning's poem?" "It's very nice." "Good work." "Anyone interested in vying for the Discovery Award for Young Poets, we will be discussing the details today after school in Poets' Circle, room 302." "And, just in case the $3,000 scholarship doesn't entice you, the finals are held in Florida over spring break." "Journals in the box." "Miss Denning..." "You can go deeper." " You're not staying?" " I have to take care of my sister." "Do you want me to pick up an application for you?" " They're not gonna pick me." " Auster's judging the finals." "What did he say to you?" "Nothin'." "A man in Mexico burst his own eardrums with a pencil and sewed his eyelids shut." "He says because the government is deaf and blind to people's pain." "Lily, shut up." "Look." "Stop it!" "You'd better stay in there you little brat!" "Where's Lily?" " Megan..." " I didn't do anything." "Lily?" "Open the door." "What's it gonna take?" "Huh?" "Get ready for bed." "It wasn't my fault." "I expect you to take care of her when I'm gone." " Get a baby-sitter." " I can't afford a baby-sitter." "You do have a responsibility to this family." "You had her." "You take care of her." "What did you say?" "Get out of my sight." "It's gonna get infected." "You've gotta stop hurting yourself, Lily." "Mr Blazek." "Mr Blazek." "Channelling Bukowski-very good." "Mr Cappo." "I believe "blow job" is two words." "Or maybe it's a hyphen." "Miss Denning." "Mr Sadler." "Another adventure story." "Crap!" " Want a ride?" " No, it's OK." "Come on." "So are you starting to look for colleges?" "Oh, I think I'm just gonna stay here and go to Sinclair." "Well, there are scholarships, you know." "I mean, in addition to the contest." "Well, I just got a job, so I'm kind of busy." "Have your parents ever read your work?" "My mom has school after her work so she's kind of busy, and I don't really see my dad." "Ever?" "Birthdays and Christmas and..." "He and my mom don't really get along so it's kind of... kind of easier that way." "Easier for you?" "We're the building up on the... on the right." "I'd like you to enter the poetry contest." "I can give you my lunch hour a few days a week to help you prepare." " But I'm not a poet." " Not yet." "You miss the bus?" " You see me on it?" " No." "Draw your own conclusions." "Where'd you get those?" "Did you take them from the storage space?" "Draw your own conclusions." "Put 'em away before Mom comes home." "Who's this?" " Dad." " No, the baby." "I wasn't an angel." "It's not me." "You have his face." "Same chubby cheeks, same eyes..." "You look just like him." "Lily, get up." "Lily, you'd better be ready to leave in two minutes." "Why are you all dressed up?" "Do you have your lunch?" "No." "I don't want it." "Why are you wearing Mom's shirt?" "Why are you such a pest?" " That's his house." " Auster's?" "Yep." "He won some big award for writing a long time ago." "You know that leather book he carries around?" "It's his novel." " How would you know?" " My parents used to be friends with him." "If he told you to enter the contest, you're in." "Sorry." "Oh, no, please, don't be." "Please." "Great poets touch the hidden nerve." "So, we need a map of your nerve centres." "If you're going to reveal them in your work you need to know where they are." "That's for later." "What was "The Memory of Trees" about?" "You said "I am rust and gravity." What does that mean?" "That I felt bad." "Was there a particular time when you felt bad, or you just felt bad in general?" "I don't know." "All right." "What was the poem about?" "My dad leaving." "So what happened when your dad left?" "Was it day or night?" "Night." "Did he say goodbye to you when he left?" "Miss Denning, I want you to write about that day." "In detail." "Write about the weather, write about what you were wearing, what you were thinking." "Be specific." "A whole world emerges from little details." "For example, when we buried my son I'd forgotten to put in my contact lenses and I stood over him right before they closed the coffin trying to fix him in my memory." "I could see the red from his sweater and his blue pants, and there was a scab on his forehead that hadn't healed-from a bicycle accident - and I could feel that scab when I kissed him, but when I looked at him it was... well, it was out of focus." "So, when your dad left what were you doing?" "I don't remember." "Forget that I'm here." "OK?" "I'm not here." "Now, just close your eyes." "Where are you standing?" "By my window in my room." "Did your dad leave in a van, or a taxi, or...?" " A car." " A car." "What colour was the car?" "Blue." "OK." "Go on." ""You're on a voyage across an uncharted sea."" ""You must believe that there is land beyond the horizon."" ""What land remains as a question mark, but that is the mystery the joy of discovery..."" "He doesn't write that stuff to me." " Maybe he'll ask you to the prom." " Shut up." "Meg, Mom wants to talk to you." "Hi." "She won't." "She's on a hunger strike." "Well, I can't make her." "Hello?" "I thought your class was only till nine." "Whatever." "Meg?" "OK." "You tell me." " I don't know." " Why not?" " What's funny?" " Nothing." "Well, why did you laugh?" "I don't know." "Are you afraid I'm gonna tell you that your work stinks?" " Does it?" " What do you think?" "Probably." "I don't know." "Come back when you do." "It doesn't stink." "There's a line that I like." "Which one?" ""Lost leaves spin past the glass, but the trees don't go, they stay by my window."" "What about the rest of it?" "I could go deeper." "Good for you." "So, Meg, how are things going over at Seymour and Cedar?" "Fine." " Did they say they were happy with her?" " Well, Steve hasn't called." "Well, I guess that's good." "You don't have school tomorrow do you, Mom?" "No, honey, my interview is tomorrow." "Why?" "Well, I just have this thing, this writing contest, where we're gonna read our stuff." "What time?" "After school." "I don't know if I'll be able to make it." "I don't know when I'll be done." " I didn't call to confirm." " It's all right." "I talked to him this afternoon." "Oh." "Well, did he say who else he was considering?" " Somebody in plastics." " A man or a woman?" "Diane, stop." "Then you'll have to take the bus to Mrs Rand's tomorrow, OK?" "Maybe when I get this job we can all go out and celebrate, huh?" "The four of us." " Have you sent Don a thank-you note?" " No." "Well, please do that." "He didn't have to help you get that job." "I'd like to read your story." "It's not a story." " I thought you said..." " It's a poem." "Well, I would like to read it." " Georgia in the contest too?" " Yeah." "Well, maybe her mom can drop you off at Mrs Rand's." "I don't wanna go there, Mom." "Her house stinks." "Don't start." "Don went to a lot of trouble to get me this interview, and if I get that job it'll be a lot more money for all of us, so don't be a pill." "Wish me luck." " Good luck." " Good girl." "This is called "Blue Car"." ""I rode my bike past our old house."" ""A rusty chair keeps your place on the lawn."" ""Lily cuts holes in herself to hurt you but you just won't bleed."" ""Now she won't eat."" ""Since you left Mom doesn't say your name."" ""But even gone, I remember your face" "The way the sun stays bright when I shut my eyes," "The way a torch whipping the dark leaves a long red scar."" ""Some nights when I wake up I forget where we are."" ""From our apartment, I can't see the stars or the horizon, only the road."" ""I know it goes to wherever you are."" "Miss Denning, do you have a second?" "Sure." "Losing a contest doesn't mean you lack talent, any more than... than winning one makes you Ezra Pound." "Do you understand that?" "All of your life you'll be judged." "Some people will love you some will say you stink." "None of it matters." "The opinions of these judges your friends, your mother, me." "What matters is the condition of your soul." "That it remain intact." "And that you stay strong and you keep doing the work no matter what." " I will." " No matter what." "I will." "I have to go." "So, congratulations." " I won?" " Yes, you did." "So now we have to talk about how to get you to the finals." "Florida?" "Are you gonna be there?" "Yeah, I'll be there." "OK?" "Ms Pound, you can... you can go." "I would actually be reporting directly to Don, though Frank would be my boss." "So when do you hear?" "Could be as soon as Monday." "I know you've been picking up the slack lately." "How does a sperm get into the egg to fertilise it?" " I have some books at home." " I've read those books." "If the sperm is in the man's penis and then the egg is in the woman's uretus, how do they come together?" "Did I give you permission to borrow my blouse?" "So how does the egg enter the uretus?" "Do we have to have another talk with Father Allwart?" "No, thank you." "Then keep your hands off of things that don't belong to you." " How does the egg enter the uretus?" " Uterus!" "Do you hear me?" "Don't touch my things without asking." ""So our lives are difficult and perhaps unpardonable," "And the fey gauds of youth have as the old men told us they would, faded."" ""But still, it is morning again, this day."" ""In the flowering trees, the birds take up their indifferent, elegant cries."" ""Look around." "Perhaps it isn't too late to make a fool of yourself again."" ""Perhaps it isn't too late to flap your arms and cry out," "To give one more cracked rendition of your singular, aspirant song."" "Is this where they have it?" "Yep." "You can hold on to that, if you'd like." " No lunch?" " No." " Come on, here." " Oh, no, thanks." "It's OK." "No, no." "I will be offended if you don't." " What kind of bread is this?" " It's rosemary." "You've never had it before?" "Tell your mom if she has any questions she can call me." "Do you think she'll be able to come with you?" "I haven't asked her yet." "If your family can't afford to send you the school might consider..." "We can afford it." ""Blue Car"." "Do you think I could win?" "The girl wants to win." "Maybe I should write that here on the application, huh?" "Well, no, maybe I should change my poem." "Write about America write about something nice." "No." "You write what you care about." "Can you read me some of your novel?" " What do you mean, my novel?" " Georgia told me." "I'm not gonna copy you or anything." "Just for inspiration." ""In one creative thought a thousand nights of love revive, filling it with sublimity and exaltation."" ""And those who come together in the night in a rocking delight, do an earnest work, and gather sweetnesses, gather depth and strength for the song of some coming poet who will arise to speak of ecstasies beyond telling."" ""And though they err and embrace blindly the future comes all the same."" "It's beautiful." " Sorry." " No..." "What's up?" "Can I have some money for lunch?" "Meg, this is my son Rob." "This is Meg." "Hi." "Thanks." "I never realised he was your son." "That's my son." "Ready or not the future comes all the same." "Where's Mom?" "She took me to the doctor." " What did he do?" " The usual." "We met Don afterwards." "Did she get the job?" "I don't look like anyone." "Not even myself." "He said not to indulge her." "When she gets hungry enough, she'll eat." "He's a quack, Mom." "She hasn't had anything but water in two weeks." "She's probably eating at school." "Maybe we could take her to Florida." "Over spring break." "It's a really good place for sick people." "I cannot afford the bills I have, Megan." "I can't take you on a vacation." " Well, if you get the job, then..." " I'm not getting the job." "Angels don't fall out of the sky." "They emerge from within." "There is an angel within each one of you and he is your personal bridge to heaven." "This is the body of Christ." "This is the body of Christ." "Blessed are the pure at heart for they shall see God." " I'm an angel." " The Lord knows you are, my child." "The body of Christ." "The body of Christ." "Lily..." " Lily?" " Oh, God..." "Honey?" "Lily?" "Lily?" "Honey?" "Is the hurt new?" "Yes?" "I'm gonna get the nurse to fix it." "What do you think?" "Mr Auster?" "It's Meg Denning." "I'm sorry to bother you." "Well, I just wanted to talk." "My sister's not doing very well." "Mr Kastran?" "I have a family emergency." "ls it OK if I go home early?" "My dad's here." " Are there any customers upstairs?" " No." " Go ahead." " Thank you." " Megan, she's gonna be OK." " I don't know." "No, she will." "She's in the hospital now, and they're gonna take very good care of her." "It's OK." "She's gonna be fine." "I wanna take her to Florida." "Everything's gonna be fine." "I'm not gonna listen to my mom any longer." " You gonna be OK?" " Yeah." "Sorry if I got stuff all over your shirt." "It's not a problem." "Why are you so nice to me?" "I mean, I'm glad." "Thanks for coming." "Anytime." " Where the hell have you been?" " I forgot my backpack." " Where were you?" " Work." "I called work." "They said that you left with your father." "How did you get home?" "A friend." "I have been driving around for two hours looking for you." "I called your father." "He had absolutely no idea what I was talking about." "You wanna go to Florida?" "I can't even trust you two miles from home." "Get in there." "You can go to school and to work and to the hospital." "That's it." "You will come straight home after work and if you don't, then you don't get to work." "Do you understand me?" "And when I find out who your little boyfriend is," "I'm gonna tell his parents he's an inconsiderate little brat." "Unfortunately, we do need your mother to co-sign for any withdrawals." " But it's my account." " That's the way the account was set up." "I wish that you could stay with us." "I wish that you could stay with us." " Do you guys drive?" " No, we fly." "Unless Pat goes." "But he's on parole, thank God." "The four of us in one car for ten hours is basically hell." "You know, you probably could stay with us." "I don't think Tampa's very far from Siesta Beach." "That way all you'd have to do is pay for the airline ticket." " I don't know these people." " They're really nice." "Did they invite us, or is this just Georgia?" "Georgia said that she was gonna ask her family." "If you need to work, then I could take Lily and you can have a break." "I don't know, Megan." "I just..." "Hello?" "Could you close that door, honey?" "Yeah." "Because I don't believe you." "Well, what about my family?" "Here." "I got you some chocolate, too." "Your favourite." "They can make you disappear in the night." "They break the doors and windows and then they amputate the wings." " Can you see them?" " What?" "Wings." "They won't grow because there's invisible food in the tubes." "Lily, you don't need wings." "We're gonna fly to Florida." "In a plane." "The ceiling's too low." " What did they say?" " They're gonna move her." "Where?" "The psychiatric wing." " Hey." "Everything OK at home?" " Oh, yeah." "Everything's fine." "Um, I was just wondering if it would be possible to get my pay in cash this week." " That could probably be arranged." " Thanks a lot." "You bet." "When did you purchase these?" "Couple of weeks ago." "They were, like, $40 each." " You bought them here?" " Yeah." "This isn't our stock." "Perhaps if you can find your receipt?" "I got 'em at the Beermans in Oakmeadow." "I'm afraid I can't help you." "Oh, God, no..." "It's Lily." "The window was open, and she fell." "Oh, Jesus, God, no!" "We deliver her up to you, O Lord to your arms and your mercy." "The 23rd Psalm." ""The Lord is my shepherd;" "I shall not want."" ""He makes me lie down in green pastures;" "he leads me beside still waters."" ""He restores my soul." "He leads me in right paths for his name's sake..."" "I don't belong here?" "For God's sake, she's my daughter!" "You wouldn't know it!" " You don't come around..." " And whose fault is that, exactly?" "Am I the one trying to turn the kids against you?" "I'm going to work." "Yeah." "Yeah, all right, fine." "That's how we'll handle it, then." "Bye." "Do you have any personal belongings here?" "No." "Good." "Clear out." "Your pay should just about cover the cost of the ties." " Get out of my store." " I need my money." "You should've thought of that before you stole from me." " I didn't steal anything!" " Get out of here anyway." "I didn't steal anything!" "Asshole!" " What are you doing?" " Where are they?" "The things you stole." " I didn't steal anything." " I thought we were done with this." "Get out of my room." "When you contribute to the rent of this place, then it'll be your room." "Hey!" "Hey, that's my stuff!" "Go ahead, ground me." "You're never even home." "What are you gonna do, hire an armed guard?" "I'm going to Florida, or wherever else I wanna go." "It's none of your business." "Then maybe you better find someplace else to live." " Fine." "I'll go live with Dad." " Oh, good." "You do that." "You think he's so wonderful?" "You go see how you like it over there." "At least he doesn't try to control everything I do." "Your father doesn't give a shit about you." "How many times did he come around here last year?" "What, three?" "He doesn't come here because of you!" "He can't even manage to pay the lousy $60 a week in child support he owes me!" "I am up to here in debts trying to give you a life I can't afford!" "I work 12 hours a day and go to school at night so that I can make life nice for you, and all that I ask is that you respect the few rules that I lay down." "And when I stick my neck out to get you a job, you don't embarrass me in front of my friends." " That's all you care about, isn't it?" " What?" "Your stupid friends!" "Stupid Don!" "You're an ungrateful brat." "What do you think you're doing?" "You can't just pack her away into a storage unit like you did with Dad." " Put that back in there." " She's not yours, you fucking bitch!" "I'm sure your mother feels a tremendous grief." "And to lose a child is..." "Well, my son Lucas was only four." "You wanna tell me how you feel?" "I don't know." "How do you think your sister would feel if she lost you?" "Sad." "Yeah..." "I don't know..." "Mad?" "Well, who would she be mad at?" "My mom." "Why would she be mad at your mom?" "Do you think your mom could've saved her?" "Maybe I..." "Maybe I could have." "This is not your fault." "It's not your..." "Oh, come here." "You are very beautiful." "And you are... and you are very..." "Listen, why don't you take some time take all the time you need, and, you know, you can stay here..." "OK." "All right." "We'll be home in a half an hour." "All right." "Bye." "It's OK." "You can stay with us." "Every time we have a break, he comes..." "You ladies have a full evening planned?" "Huh?" "Sex, drugs and rock'n'roll?" " Pat's a delinquent." " Pat's a delinquent." "Do I detect a fellow fuck-up?" "So I was lifting credit cards cos nobody ever checks that shit." "I'd buy some stuff, OK then I'd sell it for cash." "Yeah." "I've done a bunch of fucked-up shit that I'm not really proud of in my life, but now I'm really trying to make it up to the people I hurt, like my parents." "They're so fuckin' cool." "Sorry..." "But the fuckin' feds, OK, bust my ass in Vegas because some chick at the bank is supposed to tell the casino that I got some sort of line of credit set up but instead she fuckin' bones me." "Yeah." "Can you believe that shit?" "Excuse my fuckin' French." "But these motherfuckers" " I'm sorry - cuff me, haul my ass down to jail, and my parents gotta fuckin' bail me out." "Now let me tell you something:" "you put that shit out there, it's comin' back." "You gotta set it straight." "Seriously." "It's like a boomerang." "Well, I've done some things." "Stole some things." "Yeah?" "Well, you just gotta try and find a balance." "You see a hungry guy you give him some food." "You know?" "Now, if I gotta take something from somebody, you know," "I just gotta try and find a way to give something back." "It's a give-and-take sort of thing." "Yeah." "I was trying to go to Florida." "You goin' with my folks?" "No." "No, I was trying to get the money so I could take a bus." "You ever been on a bus before?" "Huh?" "You'll sit beside some fat fuckin' bast..." "Sorry, some fat guy, OK, for 14 hours." "Forget about it." "I'll take you up." "I'm headin' down to the Bahamas, so..." "When do you need to go?" "Well, I have this thing, this contest in a couple of days." "OK." "I'll take you." "I don't have any money but I could share the driving." "Don't worry about it, OK?" "If I need a favour, you know you'll do it for me, right?" " What's the name on the prescription?" " Gross." "G-R-O-S-S." "Her first name is Doris." " Do you know when he called it in?" " This morning." "Hang on." " You all right?" " Yeah, yeah." "You sure?" "Let's see what you got here." "All right." "Show me the goods." "We got Vicodin." "Nice." "Good score." "People pay a lot of money for it." "Oxycontin." "Oh, man, this stuff is so good." "You know why?" "It fucks you up, OK?" "Xenocal." "Fat people love this stuff." "And Vicana..." "What the...?" "I have no idea what the hell that is." "What's in here?" "We got Viagra and contraception." "Diaphragm." "Nice." "Wonder what these people are up to, huh?" "Good job, partner." "Let's go to the bank." "The day I started GA, some dude says to me "Goin' straight takes balls."" "So I got me some." "There you are." "Mad money for the lady." "Give and take." "You have the hour to write then please put your journals in the box." "And bonnes vacances," "I was gonna leave you a note." "Guess I'll just see you in Florida." "Is something wrong?" "I tell you everything." "Did I do something?" "Come here." "I wish I could show you how I feel." " Hey." "Here." " Whoa..." "Thank you for helping me." "That's great..." "A tie..." "It's so nice I'm gonna have to get myself a shirt." " So when are we leaving?" " Crack o' dawn." "Yeah." "So why don't you get your bony ass to bed?" "All right." "Good night." " When was the last time you saw him?" " Last night." "Did he give you any indication as to where he was going?" "No." "So just the jewellery, coins and the car." "Anything else?" "Some silver." " My stupid idiot brother!" " What happened?" "He skipped his parole." " So maybe he's gonna come back." " He's not coming back!" "He took my dad's watch collection and my mother's heirloom silver." "What time are you guys going to the airport?" "We're not going." "I'll give you $ 75." "That's with the jacket and the bike." "That's a diamond." "Yeah, but see that little brown spot?" "That ain't worth nothin'." "Just a Coke." " Is this where the poetry contest is?" " Yes, it is." " How much are the rooms?" " They start about $189." " The front desk is this way." " Oh, no, it's OK." "I'm at another hotel." "Oh, it's great." "You guys should go in." " We will." " It's great." " I can do it." " No, you never do." "Hi." " Hey." " Miss Denning." "You all know one another?" "Miss Denning's in my AP English." " Oh." "You're here for the contest?" " Yeah." "Would you like to join us?" "Yeah, come on." "Here, pull up a towel." "Is that allowed, Tony?" "Fraternising with the contestants before the big event?" "I am the very soul of objectivity." "Yeah, right." "I'm Delia." "Pleased to meet you." " Come along, little fish." " No..." "Get your water wings on." "Come on!" " When did you get here?" " Just last night." "Well, you missed the gala opening-night festivities." "I missed seeing you there." " You don't like the sun?" " I like it too much." "Your wife seems nice." "She can be." " You little wimpy boy!" " It's fucking freezing!" "OK, let's have some drinks." " Rob, beverage?" " I'll have a beer." " Oh, I'm sorry, what's your name?" " Meg." "Here." "Why don't you and Meg go in search of drinks?" "And Meg can change." "Let the relaxation begin." "Who wants to play a game?" " Are you gonna cheat, like you always do?" " Oh, I never cheat." "I have never cheated in my life." "I am constitutionally incapable of cheating." " Of course, I am a sore loser." " Yeah." "But that's different." "So what kind of things do you write?" "Poems." " Pomes?" " Poems." "Dear, it's pronounced "po-em"." " Delia." " What?" "I thought she'd wanna know." "Oh, I'm sorry." "You're her teacher." "Well, I'm sure Meg would like to go swimming with you, darling." "Would you like me to walk you home?" "Sure." " OK." "Just let me get a sweater." " OK." "What time are you going out tonight?" "Nine." " You boys gonna behave yourselves?" " Probably not." "You OK?" "Right as rain." "Fine as wine." "Fit as shit." "All right." "You're a lovely girl." "Thanks." "You're welcome." "Good luck in the contest tomorrow." "Thank you." "I'm sure you'll do very well." "I might do a little work." "Bravo." "Your wife seems really smart." "She is." "She's also extremely unhappy." "We've known each other for a long time." "Well, since we were children really." "Younger than you." "Does that make you feel uncomfortable?" "No." "You should put this sweater on." "You look cold." "Thank you." "All right." " What's funny?" " I don't know." "Just feels funny." "Good funny?" "I have a friend who is going to come down tomorrow." "He edits the Arden Review," "I'm gonna talk to him about publishing your new improved "Blue Car"." " I have something for you." " What?" "It's kind of stupid, but..." "What is this?" "A tie?" "You probably don't even wear ties." "Is this OK?" "Are you sure?" "Is this where you write?" "No." "You OK?" " Yeah." " Yeah?" "Oh, God..." " You warm now?" " Yeah." "Yeah?" "Oh, you are so beautiful." "Come here." " You all right?" " Yeah." "Will you lie down with me?" " Are you OK?" " Yeah." "Do you want me?" "Do you want me?" "Say yes." "Say yes." "Say yes." "Do you want me?" "Oh, come on..." "Do you need me to walk you home?" "No, it's OK." "What's your book about?" "It's about an old man who falls for a young girl." "Really?" "You don't believe me?" "How does it end?" "They make love and he is transformed." "Make me proud tomorrow." "No." "Strike that." "Make yourself proud." "And fame and fortune will follow." " Night, Debbie." " Good night." "Are you sure you don't want something to eat?" "No, thanks." "I'm fine." "Hey, Ricky!" "Make me some pancakes will you?" "And put some bacon on the side." " Do you like bacon?" " It's OK." "I'm not hungry." "And real syrup too." "None of that fake crap." " Oh, I need that." " The napkin?" "I'm sorry, honey." "I'm just trying to get some of this stuff out of your way." " I never got a check." " Oh, don't worry about it." "Meg Denning." "Sally Janin." "Good luck." ""So do not look up to me, my friend for now I realise" "That growing up is nothing more than knowing your own size."" "This poem... po-em... is for Mr Auster." "It's called "Now That I've Read Your Book"." ""I've memorised the lines." "It was easy."" ""The dirty white pages a margin of fancy designs."" ""You draw outlines of inverted hearts."" ""But mine's real, not a valentine."" ""As for the details..."" ""As for the details fiction, fiction, lies, lies," "I am the coming poet who will arise."" ""Crippled phoenix I fly up from your bed of ashes."" ""When my dad left, I cut off my hands and sewed up my eyes."" ""But that didn't keep me from reaching for you."" ""Thank you for the gold star and your leaving."" ""Blue car, gold star."" ""The leaving is a gift I will always hang on to."" "This is it." "Hi." "Is my dad there?" "Hello?" "Hi, Dad." "It's Meg." "I called Dad." "I know." "Maybe it'll be better for a while." "I'm sorry." "Me too." "I know he's not perfect but I need him too." "That it?" "Yeah." "Do you remember when we drove into the country that one time?" "To the place where they sell penny candy?" "And it was you, me, Lily and Mom." "And we were driving over the bumps on the road so fast it felt like we were flying." "I like this car." "This old car likes you, too."