"One of these days." "One of these days." "Pow, right in the kisser." "He's just an ordinary mokes that's trying to make it and just can't do it." "I don't care if you've got any confidence, because I have enough confidence in me for the both of us." "You've got enough everything in you for the both of us." "They were just a couple of kids, really." "And we acted like a couple of kids too." "How about we play?" "How about we play?" "[YELLS]" "If it pertained to anything theatrical, he knew the right thing instinctively." " Aah!" "If you can't plate all" "It was work up until the lights went on, the show began, then it was fun." "Baby, you're the greatest." "ANNOUNCER:" "The Honeymooners Anniversary Special." "Featuring special appearances by Art Carney and Joyce Randolph, and starring your host, Audrey Meadows." "Good evening and welcome m The Honeymooners Anniversary Special." "Thirty-five years ago," "The Honeymooners series first hit the air in 1955, and it's even more popular today than it ever was." "Now, how is it that the simple story of a bus driver, his wife and best pal that takes place in one dingy apartment could have such a universal appeal?" "This old apartment holds a lot of sweet memories for me." "And I cherish them." "We filmed every one of the 39 half-hour episodes in this kitchen, which I'm sure you've never seen on The Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous." "And not only the 39, but hundreds of Honeymooners sketches before that on The Jackie Gleason Show." "One of the reasons for the success of The Honeymooners is the strength of its characters." "Ralph and Alice, Ed and Trixie were real people with real problems." "Our audiences could identify with them." "Let's face it, there's a little bit of these characters in all of us." "And yet there is no one quite like Ralph Kramden." "[BELL RINGING]" "He could be volcanic." "You are a blabbermouth." "MEADOWS:" "And sometimes he could be a pussycat." "I'm sorry, Alice, for everything I said." "We never used to argue when we first got married." "I'm not leaving this house..." "MEADOWS:" "But one thing's for sure, life with Ralph Kramden was never dull." "I'm gonna buy sheet music and study that." "I'm gonna buy records and study them." "I'm gonna rent a piano," "I'm gonna have Norton come down here and play the piano, every song he's ever heard, and I'm gonna study them." "Ralph, that's gonna cost us a fortune." "It'll take every penny we have saved." "We won't have one cent left in the bank." "When the smoke clears away, we'll have $99,000." "Yes, sir, this is the time I'm gonna get my pot of gold." "Just go for the gold." "You've already got the pot." "CARNEY:" "Kramden was a schemer." "And everything always fell through for the guy." "And you had to feel sorry for him." "The Poor Soul hasn't got a hell of a lot of ability, but he keeps trying." "He gets schemes, and his schemes are all to make he and Alice happy." " Norton." " What?" "You just gave me a million-dollar idea." "I will send you a percentage." "For $20, a 20-percent percentage of the Ralph Kramden Corporation." "Five thousand dollars for a story about hiccups?" " Yeah." " I ought to be a cinch" " to get $10,000 dying." " You bet." "I'm going after success." "I'm not gonna wait until it hits me." "I'm going out and grab it." "But this one is different, it's surefire." "Not only will we get all the money that we lost on the other investments, but will end out ahead of the game." "Two thousand dollars, Alice." "That's big, big, big." "This is probably the biggest thing I ever got into." "The biggest thing you ever got into was your pants." "FINN:" "The idea of writing Kramden's script was, what can he do that he can get in trouble with?" "That's the whole idea, you see." "In a strange way, he represented every man in that character." "He's just an ordinary mokes that's trying to make it and just can't do it." " Kramden?" " Hey." " Well, what are you doing here?" "I'm" " I'm" " I'm" "What are you doing behind my desk?" "Listen, listen, come, come, Kramden." " Now, what's the explanation for this?" " Well, uh" "Well, you see, I come up to talk to you about a little business and, uh, I was looking at your chair and I thought I'd sit down and see how it feels to be boss." "Ha, ha." "He wasn't, uh, you know, Mr. Perfect." "And when he made mistakes, they were usually huge blunders." "You turned it the wrong way!" "Turn it toward the wall!" " The wall?" " Yes, the wall." "There's four walls." " Turn it the other way." " All right." "MEADOWS:" "And if Ralph wasn't enough trouble on his own," "Norton was always there to lend a hand." "Norton, will you turn it--?" "CARNEY:" "Norton was always getting Ralph into trouble." "[ALARM RINGING] [CLAMORING]" "And it worked both ways." "Ralph would, uh, get Norton into trouble on occasion." "Uh, but they never ended up really mad at each other by the time the episode ended." "They were tried-and-true friends, believe me." "Nothing left to say, is there?" "Just one more thing, Norton." "From here on in, we are deadly enemies." "I don't wanna see you, I don't wanna talk to you," "I don't wanna have nothing to do with you." "If you see me coming down the street, get on the other side." "When you come down the street, there ain't no other side." "Norton was a combination of Bronx-Brooklyn New Yorkees." "Just a guy that used to hang around the corners a lot, like I did when I was a kid." "I don't possess a mansion, a villa in France, a yacht or a string of poloponese." "I'm glad to hear." ""String of poloponese"?" "Where do you see that?" "Right there, "a string of poloponese."" "That's "a string of polo ponies."" "Norton was" " Norton was a mental case, let's face it." "Norton was, uh, childlike in a lot of ways." "Basically a very good-hearted, kind, patient guy." "He had to be to put up with Kramden, let's face it." "What do they mean by "address the ball"?" "How should I know?" "That's what it says here." "Well, read a little further." "Maybe it explains it." "[NORTON MUMBLES]" "Oh, that's all it says, "address the ball."" "Wait a minute, I think I know what it means there." "CARNEY:" "When you create a character that's likable and is accepted, uh, it's a joy to do, believe me." "Plant your feet firmly." "Hello, ball." "That's not how to address a ball." "When Norton entered the room, you knew something was gonna happen." "Of course, uh, you knew something was gonna happen with Ralph too." "For the last time, Alice, I'm telling you, I'm going for the $99,000 question." "For the last time, Ralph, I'll be very proud if you win the 600 bucks." "Six hundred dollars?" "Peanuts, peanuts." "What am I gonna do with peanuts?" "Eat them, like any other elephant." "MEADOWS:" "Unlike Norton, Alice didn't let Ralph push her around." "But that didn't stop him from trying." "RALPH:" "Ho, ho." "Ho, ho." "Do you wanna go to the moon?" "Do you wanna go to the moon?" "Bang, zoom!" "Bang, zoom!" "Bang, zoom!" "Bang, zoom." "Alice, come out here." "MEADOWS:" "Well, I always thought of Alice as the first women's libber." "As deeply as she loved her husband, she was not gonna be a doormat." "Let's not do any hollering, screaming or yelling." "You are not going on the fishing trip." "L am going." "You're not going." "L am going." "You're not going!" "I am going!" "The only place you're going is to the moon." "You get this, Ralph, and get it straight." "When you're on that fishing trip tomorrow, I'm gonna be there too." "That phone is for you, you, you." "[PHONE RINGING]" "Hello." "Yeah." "It's for you, you, you." "You found out housework's a lot harder than you thought, didn't you, Ralph?" "You want me to quit my job and come back." "I want you to quit your job?" "Are you kidding?" "Ha." "It's the furthest thing from my mind." "Good, because I have no intention of quitting." "Alice, you gotta quit and you gotta come back." "MEADOWS:" "The reason Alice stuck around was that she was really in love with this man." "And she knew even though he lost every time at those crazy schemes, he was doing it trying desperately to make a better life for her." "He fails, and when he fails, she feels a great deal of affection." "She knows why he did it." "I'm sorry, sweetheart." "I'm sorry." "That's all right, Ralph." "Baby, you're the greatest." "The people liked them." "And once get an audience to like the characters in something you're doing, you're two-thirds of the way home." "And people could identify with, uh, The Honeymooners." "There were many, uh, Kramdens in Brooklyn." "Almost everybody was a Kramden in this particular neighborhood that I lived in." "MEADOWS:" "Jackie's neighborhood was a section of Brooklyn called Bushwick, where he was born in 1916." "He spent much of his youth in the streets of the city, which would become the basis for much of his later comedy." "My mother had to work because my father had left when I was about 9 years old, 8 years old." "He had a very unhappy childhood." "I think that unhappiness, that insecurity was a pan of the nurturing of this great talent." "MEADOWS:" "It wasn't long before Jackie discovered show business." "He began doing comedy and musical routines in various small clubs." "And eventually in some of New York's biggest venues." "I don't think he had had, you know, a great amount of schooling, because he had a rather unhappy bringing up in Brooklyn." "But somehow if it pertained to anything theatrical, he knew the right thing instinctively." "CARNEY:" "They were just a couple of kids, really." "And we acted like a couple of kids too." "That Irish chemistry seemed to work right from the start, and, uh, I became a regular with them." "I'll never forget my first meeting with Jackie." "It was about two weeks before he went on the air." "And I went to see him about the part of Alice." "Well, he turned me down flat." "He said I was too young and too pretty." "That really bugged me because I thought, of all people," "Jackie certainly should know that I could play that pan." "So I asked my manager if he could get a photographer to come to my apartment early the next morning, and I was not gonna get out of bed until they rang the door bell, and have him take pictures of me with no make-up on." "And I fixed my hair all frumpy and I tore a sleeve out of a blouse and I got an old apron." "And we got the pictures and we had them delivered to Jackie with no name on them." "Jackie took one look and he said, "Oh, my God," he said, "this is Alice." "Who is she?" "Where is she?" "Can we get her?"" "And they said, "Jack, this is the girl who came in to see you yesterday."" "And Jack's remark was," ""Any dame with a sense of humor like that deserves the job." "Hire her."" "The rest is history." "Well, let me tell you something." "I had some chances too, you know, before I married you." "[ALICE LAUGHS]" "Don't laugh, Alice." "There were plenty of girls crazy about me and you know it." "Every time I went down to the beach, they used to crowd around me." "Sure, sure they crowded around you." "That didn't mean they were crazy about you." "They just wanted to sit in the shade." "[NORTON LAUGHS]" "Shut up!" "CARNEY:" "Audrey is a very capable performer, right on the ball." "I know that, uh, she would help Gleason out if he forgot a line or if I forgot a line." "And, uh, that's why we worked with each other." "But any adlibs, anything like that, were always done in character." "Mr. President, Brother Kramden." "Brother Norton is a nut!" "I have the floor." "You're out of order." "The only thing out of order here is your head." "Brothers, brothers, this is getting us no place." "Let's face the facts." "There must be a plenty of eligible, uh, comp" " Uh" " Uh" " Applicants." " Applicants." "I'm sorry, sir, I couldn't think of the word." "MEADOWS:" "Jackie hated to rehearse." "He liked to improvise and create while he was performing, and he expected the same from us, which really kept us on our toes." "Too much rehearsal would take the edge off it." "I thought there should be a little spontaneity to it." "And, uh, at first it was tough on the other actors, because they like to rehearse." "But we had the kind of performers that could do it my way." " Who is it?" "JOHNNY:" "It's me, Johnny." "Have you got my water pistol in there?" "MARTH:" "I can never remember any time when we rehearsed with Jackie, because he loved that idea of the spontaneity, you know?" "Just, "Let's go, let's go." He wanted the energy to go." "And the show was photographed like a football game." "Jackie was the ball and we stayed with him." "[YELLING]" "MEADOWS:" "We never knew where Jackie might go." "[YELLING]" "And sometimes neither did he." "If you can't plate all" "MEADOWS:" "When people at home are watching, uh, the show on television and they see something that goes as radically wrong as that, they know perfectly well it was done live." "Well, it's absolutely necessary if you're doing comedy to do it in front of a live audience." "Because they tell you your timing." "They tell you how to time a joke or how to time a move." "And without an audience, uh, I don't think anybody can do it." "I haven't seen anybody do it correctly." "All those 39 half-hours had that quality of, uh, terrific spontaneity." "It was very exciting, because it was live and, wow, you had to go out there and do it when that red light came on." "And you knew that millions were watching you and it was pretty scary." "But it made for wonderful shows." "Well, here you are." "[SNEEZES]" "RANDOLPH:" "We had no idea when he came out on those skates what he was gonna do, if he could skate at all." "I mean, it was really wild, that show." "An and Audrey and I had gone (0" "Been sent to a skating rink to practice a little bit, but he didn't join us." "I say" " Aah!" "RANDOLPH:" "So we just had to, uh, kind of wing it." "[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]" " When I say "heave," we "ho," ready?" " All right." " Heave." " You'll be fine." "No!" "MEADOWS:" "Jackie's love of spontaneity gave all of us room to improvise on the set." "One afternoon in rehearsal, I was thinking of my father, the way he used to sign my report card." "And he'd take all the time in the world and everything was:" "Like there was a fly or something like that, I don't know, or:" "And then looking up to see if the light was just right." "And I'd want to say to myself, you know," ""Pop, just sign it and let me go back to school." "Don't look at the marks."" "And when I had to sign something on one of the Honeymooners episodes, he came to my mind and I threw it in and it was established from there on in." "Oh, you're gonna get it, Norton." "You're gonna get it." "A fellow that used to be a neighbor of ours' father, heh," "I think used to look at the show and enjoy it and everything." "And one day he said to me in all seriousness," ""You mean you actually get paid for doing what you did last night?"" "[UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]" "Good." " I got the knack of it now." " Yes, sir." "I got it now, Norton." "You know, we had a lot of fun in here." "These walls echoed with love and laughter." "But there were also tender, touching moments, which was one of the things that made The Honeymooners so special." "Ralph," "I know how you must feel." "I know how much you wanted to win that Raccoon of the Year Award, and how hard it must be for you to find out that you're not getting it." "But there's always next year, Ralph." "And another Raccoon of the Year Award." "And you know something, Ralph, I bet you'll win it." "And even if you don't, Ralph, there's something else that I wanna tell you." "You'll always be Raccoon of the Year around this house." "PETRIE:" "Jackie was a fine, fine actor." "He happened to have been a terrific comic actor too." "But pathos, it rolled right out of his pores." "Boy, you got some kisser." "Honest, you'll see, this is probably the luckiest break you ever got that I didn't take you with me." " Honest." " Right here." "Just sign this and I'll take the dog." "Everything's in order." " All right." " Thank you." "There we go." "Up you go, boy." "Let's go." "It affected everybody." "It was sad and also very, very funny." "And what's funny?" "If you laugh, it's funny." "Pray tell, who are you?" "Pray tell, who was that?" "MEADOW:" "Jackie showed us that there could be humor in pain, and pain in humor." "Pray tell, who are you?" "MEADOWS:" "And The Honeymooners had it all." "[ALL LAUGHING]" "Come on!" "[CRIES]" "[YELLS]" "[YELLS]" "When you can make people laugh, as Kramden and Norton did, inner satisfaction is, uh, hard to explain." "And when you achieve that, it's great, it's wonderful." "The Honeymooners has continued to entertain millions of people all over the world." "Working with Jackie was one of the happiest times of my life." "The word "genius," like most superlatives, is overworked." "But if the world of comedy is worthy of a genius, it had one in Jackie." "Well, Ralph and Alice's relationship seems as strong as ever." "And the honeymoon is still going on." "Good night, everyone."