"Pirates loot the ship and murder everybody on board." "Wait a minute, there are no pirates in Santa Monica." ""I could use one of" his yachts and set up a sting." "My name is Lili Vantress, and this is my husband, Trevor." "Everybody and his brother knows we are filthy rich and putting in at Lovers Cove tonight all by ourselves." ""How are you enjoying" your honeymoon so far?" "She's getting away!" ""I think we ought" to just dump her." "Mitch!" "Gordon?" "Oh!" "Honey, you startled me." "God..." "I'm making you breakfast in bed." "Now go sleep for another ten minutes." "Oh, you're so romantic." "Mmm..." "Gordon?" "Are you all right?" "No!" "No, don't do that!" "No!" "C.J., slow down." "No, I want to go faster." "Yeah, well, this isn't a race." "We're on patrol." "Well, the faster we patrol, the more area we can cover." "What is it with you and speed?" "I love it!" "I don't know..." "my heart beats fast, my blood pumps." "It feels great." " Hit it!" " What?" "Get your blood pumping!" "Go!" "I know this woman." "I knew Beverly Lowry." "Her husband was my psych professor at Long Beach State." "But there's no way that Gordon Lowry would have murdered his wife." "The police think he did." "Well, I don't." "He emptied out their bank accounts, the safe-deposit box." "All of her jewelry is gone." "The cut end of the wire wrapped around her legs matches a spool in his garage." "I'd say that's pretty incriminating evidence." "I think someone set it up to make it look like he did it." "Stephanie, her body was weighted down." "It only came to the surface because the wire snapped." "Now, face it, this guy's probably on his way to Bora-Bora with a new and younger Beverly." "Nah, it doesn't look that way to me." "I don't think so." "Garner, what'd you find out?" "Mitch!" "Here you go, Johnny." "Well, for one thing this is not the first time that this has happened." "See?" "I'm right." "But Homicide doesn't agree with me." "They're still convinced Lowry murdered his wife." "Aha! "I'm" right." "Garner, what did you mean when you said this isn't the first time this has happened?" "Well, this ran in the "Times"" "three months ago." "Rich couple leaves on a week-long cruise." "Suddenly hubby shows up at the bank alone, withdraws all the money, then poof, they disappear." "It says they left from the same yacht club as the Lowrys." "But there's no proof they're dead." "Yeah, well, they haven't been heard from since." "Maybe they decided to sail away, drop out of society." "Did you ever see that movie, Lost In America?" "Um..." "Albert Brooks." " Albert Brooks." " Right." "They drop out, she blows their nest egg in Vegas." "And then he goes back to the casino boss..." "You guys want to talk about movies?" "Well, how about The Ghost of Blackbeard?" "The scene where the pirates loot the ship" " and murder everybody on board." " Wait a minute." "There are no pirates in Santa Monica." "Yeah, well, what if drug runners are stealing boats to use for smuggling?" "Or selling them on the black market." "Some of those yachts are worth a fortune." "Don't convince me, convince Homicide." "You know, I know a yacht broker." "He'd do anything for me." "I rescued his daughter." "I could use one of his yachts and set up a sting." "Well, their M.O. Is, they go after... rich, married couples." "Don't even think it." "Mitch, please?" "I'll back you both up." "You get seasick." "I'll wear a patch." "Hobie's at Gayle's." "Come on, do this for me." "Forget it." "They'll recognize us at the yacht club." "No, they won't." "What are you doing?" "Imagining what you'd look like in a moustache." "Thank you, Ellerbee." "Darling, please." "Oh." "Watch over Sushi for us, would you?" "Sushi?" "Aren't you a little overdoing it?" "No." "Everyone's watching us." "We want them to, remember?" "Excuse me." "Can I help you?" "Yes, my name is Lili Vantress, and this is my husband, Trevor." "A pleasure to make your acquaintance." "We have an appointment with our yacht broker here." "Oh, yes, Leslie told me to be expecting you." "We're sailing off on our honeymoon." "Mm-hmm." "Well, congratulations to you both." "I'm Fred Adler." "I'm the assistant dockmaster, and, uh..." "There she is." "Shall we?" "Thank you kindly, sir." "Mr. Vantress?" " " What?" "Oh, uh..." " Mr. Vantress?" "Ye..." "Yes?" "Now that you've gone and purchased your boat," "I hope you'll give some consideration to becoming a member of our club." "Well, we will definitely consider that, but before we make our final decision, we would like to see a list of all your members." "I'm sure you understand." "Yes, of course I do." "Darling?" "Okay, okay, that's enough." "No, that one is for real, for you." "Thank you for doing this." "Well, it's the least I can do for my lovely bride." "Why, Trevor," "I do believe you're making me blush." "Hmm..." "We'd better keep up the act." "What for?" "People are still watching." "Kiss me." "Oh, look." "A parade." "C.J., slow down!" "C. J!" "C.J., C.J., please." "Oh, come on, Garner, we got to make it look like we're on official duty." "Okay, we should reach Lovers Cove in about two hours." "Live Bait to Fisherman." "Live Bait to Fisherman." "Come in, over." "This is Fisherman." "" Sounds like you're a little green around the gills there, Fisherman." "Yep." "He's got his rod and reel over the side right now." "So did the honeymooners sail off with tons of hoopla?" "We sure enough did." "Filled out a yacht application." "Now everybody and his brother knows we are filthy rich and putting in at Lovers Cove tonight all by ourselves." "Listen, we'll make our way there... slowly... and, uh..." "I'll come aboard after dark." "Just stay out of sight till then." "We don't want the sound of the fisherman's reel unspooling to frighten away the fish." "Listen, you wouldn't have to worry about the sound of my reel unspooling if these patches worked." "Don't worry, I'll keep his line wound nice and tight." "And if you need us, we'll be around the point." "And Trevor?" "Yes, darling?" "If you need a little privacy on your honeymoon night," "I'll be sure not to bring him over until a little bit after dark." "Sounds awfully romantic." "Uh, that won't be necessary." "Trevor and I will not be consummating our marriage on this trip." "Auf wiedersehen." "Hmm." "Hmm." "I think we can get rid of Trevor and Lili for a while." "Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for the one and only Miss Lili!" "I think we should stay in character, you know, just to..." "be on the safe side." "Don't you want to take your moustache off?" "I thought you said it itched." "Yeah, I did, but, uh..." "I'm getting used to it." "It doesn't look very good on you." "You're the one who told me to wear it." "Well, as Trevor." "It looked wonderful on Trevor, but not on you." "What are you talking about?" "Trevor "is" me." " No, he isn't." " Of course he is." "Mitch, Trevor is suave and sophisticated." "That is not you." "What, are you saying that you like Trevor more than me?" "You do." "Well, what about Lili?" "Do you prefer Lili to me?" "Well..." "Lili is kind of sexy." "Are you saying that she's sexy and I'm not?" "No, I'm saying that sometimes when people put on costumes, it allows them to free feelings that they usually hold inside." "So you're saying I'm repressed?" "No, no, I'm saying that "you" are usually in control." "Oh, and Lili isn't?" "How should I know what Lili is?" "But I suppose you'd like me to put the wig back on so you could find out, wouldn't you?" "Well, Lili's a lot more fun than you are, that's for sure." "I don't know how I ever thought we could get along together out here for two days." "You want to call it quits?" "No." "What are you doing?" "Well, it's obvious you and I can't handle this." "Maybe Trevor and Lili can." "Why, Trevor, darling, thank goodness you're here." "You are here, aren't you?" "Yes, darling, I'm here." "Mm." "I'm right here." "Whatcha reading?" "Three Faces of Eve..." "it's for my psych class." "Yeah, that multiple-personality thing?" "Boy, let me tell you, that stuff is spooky." "No, it's not." "I believe in that multiple-personality stuff." "I believe all of us have them." "Sometimes they just come out at different times." "Mm, like C.J. The speed demon." "Yeah." "You know, part of me gets off on the speed, while another part of me is scared to death and wants to slow down." "Well, you know that scared-to-death one?" "That's the one you ought to listen to." "Well, sometimes I do." "Sometimes I don't." "That's what makes it exciting." "Mm-hmm." "That's what makes me ill." "Darling, I'm hungry." "I'm hungry, too, darling, but you know Lili doesn't cook." "MITCH " Man cannot" live by grapes alone." "Why, Trevor, honey, you wouldn't want cat not to have her milk, now, would you?" "Fix me something to eat that'll make my mouth water." "Do I strike you as the kind of man who could be manipulated by a kiss?" "Oh, of course not." "You're much too strong and worldly-wise to be titillated by such a thing." "Hey, how you doing?" "You know him?" "I wish." "Oh, no, oh, no, he's going down." "Come on, Garner." "Hang on." "'Kay, now, keep it steady for me." "Is he okay?" "He needs medical attention." "Get me the first-aid kit." "It's right behind you." "I'm heading in." "Wait a minute, what about Mitch and Stephanie?" "Priority injury." "I got to go." "You, go in with her." "I need your boat." "Do you feel something?" "Oh, Trevor, yes." "No, I mean on the boat." "Anybody home?" "That's got to be Garner." "Look, if you say anything to him about this," "I will torture and then kill you." "Hmm." "What the hell do you want?" "Uh, I'm, um, looking for some friends of mine." "This is their yacht." "The hell it is." "This isn't the "Venus?"" "No, this is Lady Be Good." "This-this is Lovers Cove, though, right?" "Wrong again, pal." "Lovers Cove's south of here." "Damn it, Garner, the least you could have done is radio." "Mr. Vantress." "How are you enjoying your honeymoon so far?" "Ah." "First, I want you to realize this is nothing personal." "You're going to be perfectly safe." "The only thing that we're interested in is your money." "And our yacht." "Well..." "I'll get about $90,000 for that in Mexico, but that barely covers my expenses." "So how do you expect to make a profit?" "We're going to have a little scavenger hunt." "I'm going to give Trevor a list of things that he's got to find and bring back here." "And if he can do that in the allotted time, without arousing any suspicion, he wins your freedom." "If not, you lose your life." "What's on the list?" "Cash, jewelry, contents of safe deposit boxes," " other valuables like that." " And if he doesn't have that..." "I think I've answered enough questions." "You just do exactly as you're told, and I promise you, you won't have to see the violent side of Admiral Nelson's behavior." "Now, at dawn, we're going to take you ashore." "Then we're going to drive you to your house, which is at 214 Winter Road in Beverly hills." "That's very nice." "Once you get there, you're going to collect your wife's jewelry, a few other items I've listed for you." "And then I want you to put on a really nice suit and tie." "And you're going to be taken to your various banks, where I want you to empty your safe deposit boxes." "You're going to withdraw your cash maximum and you're going to get the balance in a cashier's check." "An if you can do all of that and get back here by 3:00 p. m.," "Lili will still be alive." "If not," "I promise you, you won't want to see her." "I'm sorry." "It's okay." "I'm just sorry our honeymoon didn't last ten minutes longer." "Unless your friend's boat sank," "I don't see it here in Lovers Cove." "Listen, can I use your radio?" "I need to call the coast guard." "Yeah." "Get in!" "Thirsty?" "Yes." "Nerves." "Please, may I have some?" "Yeah." "Sure." "Sorry." "All you really need to do is relax, yeah." "Now, how about if I help you relax, huh?" "You like that?" "I was going to be nice to you." "You would have liked that more." "Nelson, get up here now." "Pretty soon, you're going to be drinking a whole lot of water." "Don't tell me you're afraid of the water." "A man afraid of the water has got no business owning a pleasure yacht." "Hey, he don't own no yacht no more." "Yeah, come on, let's go." "Let's get some..." "let's get a beer right now." "She's getting away!" "No!" "No!" "We need her alive." "Get the skiff; take the nets!" "Over there." "There she is, right there!" "There, get her!" "Hey, what are you looking at?" "A shark coming right towards us." "A shark?" "You're afraid of a shark?" "You ain't getting nowhere in those handcuffs!" "We keep her alive till Crocker and Chulo bring something of his back here." "Like a fancy tie or a belt, something with his initials on it?" "No, no." "We can't use strangulation again." "Well, what do you think?" "Poison." "A prescription with his name on it, so it will look like he killed her." "Oh, Mitch." "Right." "We're on our way." "The coast guard spotted "Venus" two miles off Huntington." "There's no response to radio calls." "You don't think..." "Let's just get there, fast." "Fast?" "Double protection." "Hit it." "Where the hell are they?" "They should have checked in by now." "I think we ought to just dump her, get out of here." "Do it." "You're freezing." "It's not right." "I'm going to take you someplace warmer." "Okay." "It's okay." "Just don't kick." "Look, look, I think I should just wait for my husband, okay?" "I really think I should just wait." "Psst." "Come on, you don't have to do this." "Come on, up we go." "Let's go!" "Come on, pretty lady." "No, this is a setup, man." "You know, the police and the coast guard know all about..." "What do you mean, they know?" "Hey, easy!" "Easy!" "Come on!" "Stop!" "They got enough evidence to convict you!" "Stop it!" "Stop it!" "I don't want to hurt you!" "Hold still!" "That's it." "This is crazy!" "You can't get away with this!" "Shut up!" "Shut up!" "That's it!" "Be quiet!" "Mitch!" "Over here!" "Come on!" "You're going over." "Hold it right there!" "Let her go." "That's what I'm going to do if you don't drop that gun, now." "You drop her," "I'll drop him." "You're not going to kill me." "Guess we'll never know if I would have killed you or not." "You all right there..." "Lili?" "Yeah, I'm fine, Trevor." "Can I get you out of those?" "No, it's okay;" "I'm, uh..." "I'm kind of attached to them." "How's Garner?" "Oh, he's a little green around the edges, but I think the fact the coast guard recovered the yacht and arrested the pirates, it's easing the pain a bit." "I never should have gotten you involved in this." "I'm sorry." "Oh, I don't know." "I thought the involvement got pretty interesting there for a while." "I'm glad you're not Trevor." "I thought you liked him more than me." "When I was afraid I might die," "I thought about you, not him." "Well, when I was swimming," "I thought about you and not Lili." "Why do you think we had to be them in order to get so close?" "They don't have our history." "I wonder what would have happened between Trevor and Lili if there hadn't been such an untimely interruption." "I guess we'll never know." "Guess not." "I think maybe I'll dye my hair." "Yeah." "Maybe I'll grow a moustache." "It would look good on you." "Think so?" "Yeah." "Maybe I'll grow one." "I just love to kiss a man with a moustache." "What?" "Hmm?" "What did you say?" "Oh, nothing."