"Don't say a word." "Fergulous." "Shawn, I said no words." "Oh, I see how it works." "Two weeks ago, we're playing Scrabble, it's not a word." "Now, suddenly, it is a word because it's convenient for you." "Oh, buddy." "Dude, you've got some peat moss jammed behind your ear." "It could be infested with mites." "Mites?" "I lost a $200 shoe." "Your dad almost got a skull fracture." "You're the one who got us into this, and absolutely nothing happened to you." "Would you two stop it?" "I've been on the other side of this table a thousand times." "You tell them only what they need to know." "What do we say about Uncle Jack?" "He's not here, is he, Shawn?" "Why don't we take care of ourselves?" "We didn't do anything wrong." "We didn't break any laws." "HENRY:" "Oh, no." "Oh, no." "What..." "What did you do, Shawn?" "Nothing." "It's just that laws keep changing." "It's getting very challenging to keep up with them all." "Did you know, for instance, that it is now illegal to give a perm to a possum?" "What?" "HENRY:" "Shawn." "Did you or did you not break any laws?" "We impersonated priests." "What?" "What?" "We were professors." "We were priests, Shawn." "(DOOR OPENS)" "You gentlemen have a lot of explaining to do." "You can bet your ass I'm gonna get to the bottom of this." "Don't I get a phone call or something?" "No." "Fine." "How about a text message?" "I'll be quick." "I just need to respond "OMG, LOL.' '" "Here's a question." "How do you make the face that's winking, with the tongue coming out one side?" "Mr. Spencer!" "Now, by my estimation, you may be in some serious trouble here, so I'm only gonna ask you this once." "Where's the gold?" "It's not quite as simple as that." "Right, if we were to really answer that question, we'd have to go back quite a while." "How long?" "About 20 years." "As the rain thundered down from the dark night sky, and 30-foot waves crashed over his ship, the great pirate Bouchard stood on his bow," "pointed at the California coast and yelled," ""We shall take this land as ours, men!"" "(ALL CHEERING)" "Your dad's awesome." "I know." "I'm so glad my dad didn't come." "I mean, I don't even know what a manager of debt consolidation does, anyways." "Except drink." "Rumor has it that Bouchard was obsessed with searching for Spanish gold." "They also say he may have had syphilis and went crazy searching for something that never existed." "But I say the gold did exist!" "(CHILDREN GASPING)" "Okay, my dad has to go now." "Thanks, Dad." "See you later." "Bye." "What?" "(STAMMERING) What the heck's going on here?" "Officer, we're just in the middle of a class." "Is there a problem with something?" "Yes, there is a problem." "That's not Shawn's dad." "Because I'm Shawn Spencer's father." "You're not Shawn's dad?" "Ah, well, you know, technically..." "Uh, technically, that is my brother Jack, who technically didn't tell me he was coming to town and obviously cooked up this ruse with Shawn to fool his new teacher." "What were you thinking?" "I don't know." "I just thought it would be cooler if Uncle Jack spoke." "Look, class, I'm sorry to break this to you, but..." "He's not a real treasure hunter." "And this is not real gold." "(DISAPPOINTED GROANS)" "Kids, my big brother Henry is absolutely right." "This is not real gold." "But it is real chocolate!" "(ALL CHEERING)" "What does this have to do with the gold?" "Relax, Lassidophilus, we're getting there." "Last night..." "What can I say, the movie didn't make any sense." "Of course it didn't make any sense to you." "You came in 20 minutes late, fell asleep for an hour, then woke up and asked me what happened." "You always do this." "What can I say?" "They're making the movie theaters too damn dark." "It makes me sleepy." "So, basically, I paid $10 for you to take a nap." "Uh, basically, I paid." "Dad, someone's in the house." "Oh, my God!" "Let's call the cops." "We should call the cops." "You keep a stun gun in the birdhouse?" "What's under the garden gnome, an M-80?" "You want me to poke you in the eyes on the roof?" "We're calling the cops, right?" "(SIGHS)" "Why aren't we calling the cops?" "Dad, wait!" "Stop!" "Uncle Jack!" "I knew it was you as soon as I saw the penny." "(LAUGHS) The kid!" "Shawn, my boy!" "And by the way, that's a '59 penny." "It's the first year they used the Lincoln Memorial on it." "I want you to keep it." "Thanks, man." "(SCREAMING)" "Jack?" "Dude, a hose?" "Really?" "What were you gonna do?" "Give him a high colonic?" "Shut up, Shawn." "No, no, no, no." "I get it." "You bust in here, you blind him in water, and then you make your move, baby!" "Come here, you!" "Ah, boys." "It seems like only yesterday I was bringing you kids to the track and we were betting the ponies." "I was the only eight-year-old kid who knew what a trifecta meant." "Uncle Jack, I haven't heard from you since you sent that email from Prince Albert's boat in the Maldives." "Yeah, well, I had to sign a confidentiality agreement there, guys." "I can't really talk about it." "Oh!" "JACK:" "By the way, I got presents for everybody." "Hey, hey, hey!" "Got these when I was excavating near Machu Picchu." "(EXCLAIMS IN AWE) Dug them up myself." "(BOTH GROWLING)" "It's been three years, Jack." "What are you doing here?" "Besides breaking into my house." "Breaking in?" "You gave me a key, Henry." "I didn't give you a key." "I don't give anyone keys, not even Shawn." "Oh, that's not true." "I actually made a copy a while back." "It was when I was hooked on Wow!" "Wow!" "Wubbzy!" "on Noggin." "I didn't have cable." "Oh, I also stole your toilet paper for about a year." "And a huge box of sporks." "I guess you are wondering why I came back." "I want you to help me find Bouchard's treasure." "HENRY:" "Come on, not that again, Jack!" "I hate to break it to you, little brother, but Bouchard's treasure does not, has not, and will not ever exist." "It's a pipe dream." "Don't listen to him, Uncle Jack." "He's a dream killer." "Yeah, I understand his frustration." "All those years spent listening to me drone on about the whole treasure thing, without even a semblance of proof." "I get it." "One thing confuses me, though." "If it is just a figment of my imagination," "where did I get this?" "I know, you know That I'm not telling the truth" "I know, you know They just don't have any proof" "Embrace the deception Learn how to bend" "Your worst inhibitions tend to psych you out in the end" "Why do I feel like he can see us?" "No, it's impossible." "He can't see or hear a thing." "That's just weird." "So, what?" "We're just gonna let this guy listen in on everything?" "KAREN:" "It's out of our hands, Detective." "Now just get in there and get to the bottom of this." "You got it." "When are we gonna find out the deal with the suit-guy in there?" "Let's just get back to the story." "I can't believe your Uncle Jack actually had a treasure map." "I can't believe you actually pretended your uncle was your dad." "I wanted Gus' dad to do it, but there was a genealogy issue I just couldn't resolve." "What else can you tell us about the Bouchard guy?" "We could only remember bits and pieces of the Bouchard myth, but" "Jack filled us in on the rest." "JACK:" "November, 1818." "Bouchard sailed up and down the California Coast, searching desperately for the mythical Spanish gold." "He ravaged and looted the Mission at Monterey, was repelled at San Juan Capistrano, and finally made land here, in Santa Barbara, where he did battle with a small Spanish garrison and the Chumash Indians." "Yeah." "I remember reading about that." "They said he made off with millions in Spanish gold coins but his boat sunk off the coast north of here." "He disappeared and years later he showed up in Argentina." "Superior retention of historic detail, Gus." "Bouchard was also fond of hiding clues to the treasure's whereabouts in the maps." "I stumbled upon this one while researching him in Argentina." "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" "First you say you're in Machu Picchu in Peru, and all of a sudden, now you're in Argentina, so which one is it?" "Dad, he's not a suspect." "(SCOFFING) Oh, he's suspect all right." "Forget him." "Forget him, okay?" "My big brother's always been just a little cynical." "And that's what I love about him." "You still haven't answered my question." "So, what about it, boys?" "Wanna be treasure hunters?" "Are you kidding me?" "That's like asking me if I want my own jet pack." "Or if I've ever wanted to be a koala bear." "Okay, I think he means yes." "You can count him in." "And me too." "(LAUGHS) Superb." "Mmm." "You know, I've been reading a lot about that detective stuff you do, and it seems to me that having a psychic might be a real asset." "Who knew I had one in my own family?" "Well, Uncle Jack, I..." "I don't know." "I'm not really..." "I wouldn't necessarily say psychic." "Oh, hey, hey, hey." "Stop that right now." "Don't you do that to yourself, young man." "Do not sell yourself short." "Do not feel embarrassed, just because you're a little different." "Didn't I always tell you, you'd be great, didn't I?" "Yeah, you did." "Okay, now here's the plan." "Everything we find, we split 50-50..." "That's after we donate most of it to a museum, right?" "We are so gonna do that, Gus." "Right." "You and I are really, up here, in sync." "Okay." "So the first thing we need to do is..." "Get matching fedoras?" "Get matching fedoras?" "You're the one who wanted the fedoras, not me." "Stop changing the story." "My mistake." "He wanted the yellow gauchos." "I said no to that." "Oh, would you please put me in a separate room from these idiots?" "I will tell you everything." "Just continue." "SHAWN:" "Jack had told us to meet him at the front steps of the mission, because that was the first step on the map." "Gus and I could barely contain our excitement." "I contained mine a little better." "Okay." "Just follow my lead." "Say yes to everything." "Oh, welcome." "Welcome." "I'm Karen Raven, head of the Santa Barbara Historical Society." "We are delighted to have such a distinguished professor as yourself visiting us." "(SPEAKING SPANISH)" "I am Abner Espinoza." "These are my compatriots, Ernesto Agapito Garces con y a de Abelar, and Juan Priestly." "Oh, now I see where you got the priest thing." "What does that mean?" "Nothing." "Nothing." "Well, welcome." "Please, come this way." "Now, as you know, most of our prized collection pieces are kept away from the public." "But, well, we're happy to open our doors for visiting dignitaries, such as yourselves." "Yes." "(WITH ACCENT) Yes." "Okay, then." "Um..." "Take as much time as you need." "And Bill, here, will be waiting just outside." "All right, boys." "We've got about 10 minutes before the real Espinoza shows up." "There's a real Espinoza?" "Well, technically speaking, we used to be partners." "He's a great guy, but we had a little falling out when I had a small dalliance with his wife." "And his sister." "And his housekeeper, Debbie." "Uncle Jack, what's really going on here?" "My research has told me that there are clues about the treasure's whereabouts hidden somewhere in this room." "And it all has to do with the number 152." "Why don't we just use the map?" "Well, technically, there's, uh, something I haven't told you about the whole map." "SHAWN:" "Uncle Jack!" "This is a pretty big thing to leave out." "Yeah, I know." "I know." "I know." "It's a long story." "A one-legged woman, a bottle of Cutty Sark..." "The point is that the missing part of the map is the first step of the hunt." "Now, come on, kid." "Use that psychic gift you got." "Come on." "Oh, boy!" "I'm seeing letters, swarming." "They're zinging!" "Oh, they're forming words!" "They're forming words!" ""Couleur.' '" "Couleur." "Couleur." "Couleur?" "What does that mean?" "French..." "Color..." "Paint!" "Painting." "That's it!" "Come on, let's go, hurry up!" "More!" "There's paintings over there." "Wait, wait, wait!" "Go back!" "Go back!" "Hello, Bouchard." "Let me see the map." "Where did you hide that clue, you old syphilitic sea dog?" "I know where the map starts." "And I know where the first clue is." "Wait." "The map was actually real?" "Oh, yeah." "We couldn't believe it." "The lighthouse was the first clue." "What happened from there?" "We didn't make it to the second clue." "Why not?" "Because we weren't the only ones who found the lighthouse." "(SPEAKING SPANISH)" "All right, Spencer, tell the Chief what you just told us." "Okay, Chief." "Here goes." "We're so hungry." "I can't get the burrito place on Coda Street out of my mind." "They're open late." "Gus, children's burrito, no sauce," "Dad, I know you're a fan of the carne asada." "All right, Mr. Spencer, let me be frank." "As long as I can be Dean and Gus can be Sammy." "Why do I have to be Sammy?" "Fine." "He's Sammy." "That makes you Joey Bishop." "Is that what you really want?" "You wanna be Joey Bishop?" "Shawn?" "I'm sorry, Jules." "How often does someone set you up with "Let me be Frank"?" "Shawn!" "Don't forget that you are in a lot of trouble here." "And I am probably the only person in this room who cares to see you get out of it." "Now, it's 2:30 in the morning, we've been here for hours, enough with the jokes, stop delaying, and tell us what we wanna hear." "Oh, my God." "That was so hot." "Spencer, tell the Chief what you told us about the guys who chased you away from the lighthouse with the guns." "Not just chasing us." "They found us, hiding in a cabin." "Who were they?" "HENRY:" "Jack's partners." "Because the one thing that you could count on with my brother Jackie, he always had partners." "Jack!" "What the hell are you doing?" "JACK:" "Mark, calm down, will you?" "It's all part of the plan." "Wait a second." "You guys know each other?" "Oh, yeah." "We were partners." "I thought we were partners." "Well, technically, you're all my partners." "Well, I don't know where you guys went to partner college but I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to shoot at your partners." "Yeah?" "Should partners do this?" "(GRUNTS)" "Maybe we shouldn't use the word "partners" anymore." "It seems to make him mad." "(GROANING) Mark." "Kitten, listen, this is my nephew Shawn, okay?" "He's psychic." "For real." "Works for the cops sometimes." "Fully legitimate, fully." "I only brought him around to help with the hunt." "And I was just gonna pay him a small finder's fee." "That's it." "What's finder's fee?" "Is that like 50%?" "Not even close." "No." "Not buying it." "You were gonna sell us out." "Oh!" "Psychic things are happening to me!" "Oh!" "Running down my legs!" "Oh, oh!" "Oh." "Oh." "Welcome." "Welcome." "I'm Karen Raven, head of the Santa Barbara Historical Society." "You don't worry about the pregnancy." "Your girlfriend's gonna be just fine." "Huh?" "Huh?" "Huh?" "What'd I tell you?" "Now, why don't you just let us go?" "We'll all find the treasure." "We'll be stinking, filthy rich and live fabulous lives!" "No." "Give us the map." "We don't have the map." "Really?" "That's too bad." "Okay!" "It's in the backpack." "Thanks." "What are you..." "What..." "Wait, just wait." "Wait." "It's in the side pouch." "Hey, Gus, should we tell Mark that there's a tear in the map?" "Son of a bitch, Jack!" "CARLTON:" "Hold it!" "So you just gave them the map and told them everything?" "No, not everything." "Okay, everything." "So, they found the treasure?" "(SCOFFS) Not exactly." "(HORN BLARING)" "SHAWN:" "Okay, I may have psychically led them down the wrong path." "The spirit world is just one of life's little mysteries." "Like why the Oxygen Network airs Goodfellas, or why fools fall in love." "Ow!" "Here you go, Mr. Guster." "This is all they had in lost and found in your size." "An Ugg boot?" "I can't wear an Ugg boot with..." "It'll be dope with my one Puma." "Now, Mr. Spencer." "BOTH:" "Yes." "Oh, I meant the older..." "Sorry, not old, less..." "Handsome." "Less hair?" "Less friends on Facebook?" "Less nose." "Oh!" "Henry." "Did you fill out a burglary report in your house yesterday?" "I did." "But nothing was taken." "Oh." "And yet, why do I feel this somehow plays into this whole mess, doesn't it?" "I was the one who picked them up." "Wait, wait, wait, wait." "How did your dad know where to find you if that Mark guy took all your cell phones?" "That is a good question." "I have to pee." "No." "No way, Shawn." "Well, what am I supposed to do?" "Hold it like a man." "I'll get a urinary tract infection." "Like a man." "You know what?" "You could link your legs underneath your chairs and form a wheel and roll to the bathroom." "I don't even wanna project how that's gonna happen." "I'm not rolling anywhere." "I don't know why I listened to either one of you." "No one is gonna find us." "We're probably gonna die out here." "Gus?" "What?" "What is that on your leg?" "Nothing." "Dude, you are strapped with another cell phone?" "Well, just call Henry." "Come on!" "No, no, no." "We're not calling anyone." "That is my work phone." "For work." "This is work." "My boss is watching everything I do, Shawn." "Plus, you already used up half my minutes waiting on hold for concert tickets." "That was Tony, Toni, Tone, and Wet Wet Wet playing together!" "You know I can't resist that." "The symmetry alone..." "All right, Gus, this is our only choice, man." "Fine." "Shawn, reach down and get it." "Me?" "I'm not gonna reach down and get it." "You get it." "With what hand?" "Fine." "I'll do it." "Hold still." "(GRUNTS)" "Stop it!" "You're wobbling!" "Hold on, now!" "(BOTH SCREAMING)" "Stop flexing." "Ow!" "(GRUNTS)" "Hold it." "Okay, it's ringing." "MAN:" "Fu's Palace." "Want to place order?" "You must've dialed the wrong number." "Hi!" "We're stuck out in a cabin on Tunnel Road, can you send help?" "For pick-up or delivery?" "This is Jack Spencer, and I'm willing to offer you a 50-50 split on pirate treasure!" "GUS:" "Hang up, Shawn." "Hold on." "While he's on the line, you guys want anything?" "GUS:" "Will you dial it again?" "And this time try to dial the right number." "Look, man, I'm dialing with a ten-year old Erasermate in my mouth." "It's not an exact science." "(DIALING)" "(PHONE RINGING)" "HENRY:" "You've reached Henry Spencer." "Leave your name and number, but speak slowly because people talk too fast in these things and I can never understand it." "(BEEP)" "SHAWN:" "Hey, Dad." "What's going on?" "Uh, I got good news." "Great news!" "The electric wrench you've been wanting, is in stock at Home Depot." "Uh, what else?" "I know there was something else!" "Oh!" "I know." "If you're not too busy," "Gus, Jack and I are tied up in a cabin about 100 yards off Tunnel Road, right by where we had the pulled pork sandwiches that one time." "Shawn?" "Spencer, are you gonna answer my question or not?" "How did your dad know where to find you?" "With some people I can communicate through psychic wavelengths." "My father is one of them." "Val Kilmer is another." "Here's something I don't understand." "Jack's partner wanted the map, right?" "So, why would they trash your dad's house?" "They'd know Jack wouldn't let the map out of his sight." "But Mark and his men, they weren't looking for a map." "So, what were they looking for?" "You know you're my boy, Shawn." "Why did you have to go and give Mark the map?" "Because I don't need it." "Uncle Jack, trust me." "I can recreate the map psychically in my head." "Hey!" "Hey." "Spare me, kid, okay?" "You can't snow the snowman." "We were so close." "HENRY:" "Stop!" "Oh!" "I feel jittery." "It starts with beans!" "Gus likes it in the morning." "Now, he has gas!" "Something having to do with coffee?" "Yes!" "Coffee!" "Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee table!" "Coffee table!" "Mark and his goons weren't looking for the map, were they?" "No, no." "They were looking for something else." "A different piece of the puzzle." "Something you didn't want connected to the map at all." "(GASPS)" "Oh!" "That is downright scary." "Maybe you really do have a gift, kid." "My bad for doubting it." "You know, this key is also from Bouchard's stuff I found in Argentina." "It was useless without that map." "But if Shawn can actually recreate that map, that plus this key means we are back on track!" "(BOTH EXCLAIMING)" "Guys, I gotta hit the head." "But when I come back, we are finding us a treasure." "(SHAWN EXHALES)" "Hope he bought that." "With Jack, you never know." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." "But if that key is real..." "Shawn, come on." "Take a look around." "Haven't you had enough?" "These guys..." "They've destroyed my living room." "Mark and his goons aren't gonna stop!" "We gotta get back out there!" "Dad!" "No!" "No." "Shawn, no!" "Just come with us!" "Come with us!" "Why do you need me?" "It's not that we need you." "We want you." "Plus, we need you." "We need your truck, because my car is still at the lighthouse and Mark has the key." "There you go, thank you very much." "Sorry, count me out." "Shocker!" "(CHUCKLING) Okay, guys, ready?" "Good." "All we gotta do now is borrow a car." "Now, technically, the term is hot-wiring." "However..." "I'm in." "But I drive," "I'm the one who decides if and when we go to the police." "I don't want any more surprises." "Do you understand?" "Yes, Dad!" "Big bro!" "I knew you'd come around." "(CHUCKLES)" "Okay, psychic, what's the next step?" "(BREATHING HEAVILY)" "Shawn?" "The key will guide us now." "(CHUCKLING) I love this!" "50-50 split between me and you guys!" "HENRY:" "No more surprises, right, Jack?" "Of course." "(SPEAKING SPANISH)" "GUS:" "Tell me this, Shawn." "How are we supposed to find clues from a bell tower that hasn't been around for over 100 years?" "The Presidio was huge." "It would've taken up several blocks." "JACK:" "So, what should we do now?" "There's only one thing we can do." "Go back in time." "The bell tower's calling me!" "Shawn!" "Come on!" "Shawn, wait up!" "Shawn!" "(GRUNTS)" "This is it." "This is where the bell tower stood!" "Well, what do we do now?" "Let's buy some mufflers." "He doesn't even own a car." "I bet you, I end up paying for these." "(SHAWN SIGHS)" "You all right?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I'll survive." "What're we doing up here, Shawn?" "I'm not sure yet." "But that's part of the fun, isn't it?" "We are good to go." "The manager said we can take as much time as we need." "Alvin." "Good guy." "Filipino." "He loved me." "And Jack offered him 50% of the treasure." "I also gave him an '82 penny." "First year they used zinc instead of copper." "Okay." "What is the deal with you and all these pennies?" "JULIET:" "Yeah, I don't get that either." "So, Jack collects them and then leaves them places?" "What's that about?" "Jack was always interested in history." "Collecting pennies was his way of being a part of it." "But leaving the pennies was his own personal philosophy." "See, Uncle Jack always said..." "I leave the penny, because it's good luck." "And Lord knows, the world could use some more good luck." "Are you for real?" "HENRY:" "All right, Shawn, what're we doing up here?" "You think that when Bouchard captured the fort, he stood up here, on the bell tower, gazing out into the big blue ocean, looking for a place to hide the treasure?" "If I were a French pirate, with a bad temper and at least one venereal disease, where would I be looking?" "(SIGHS)" "That's it." "That's it, right there!" "We're so close." "Let's go!" "Hey!" "How did he find us?" "He's got the map." "He must've figured it out." "Come on!" "Let's go!" "(SCREAMS)" "Shawn!" "Shawn!" "(GRUNTING)" "I can't lose my Puma, Shawn!" "(SCREAMS)" "I got it!" "This is it!" "This is the bluff from the map!" "Uncle Jack!" "I know this probably isn't the right time to say this, but dude!" "I think we're gonna get to ride in a helicopter." "You're obligated to let me speak to them." "I'm not obligated to make you do anything." "Chief, perhaps you should see this one more time." "No, I don't need to see the letter one more time." "Jules." "Lassy, what's going on out there?" "What's the deal with that guy?" "He didn't say a word to us when he brought us in." "His name is Andres Candalaria." "He works for the Spanish government." "Apparently, he's part of some inter-governmental task force on stolen antiquities." "(KAREN CLEARS THROAT)" "Hello, Mr. Spencer." "I believe you know why you're here." "And I believe you know I know why I'm here." "Now, why am I here?" "To help us find the treasure that rightly belongs to my government." "But we didn't find anything." "Sí." "And my men have been searching the bluffs all night, as well, with no luck." "That's because you stopped us one step short." "Your treasure is not in the bluffs, che." "(EXCLAIMING)" "The spirits are guiding my man paw!" "It's like... it's like that movie, Idle Hands." "Except with no nudity, which means, I must be completely unwatchable right now." "Do either of these words mean anything to anyone?" "It could be the clue we're looking for." ""Cueva" is Spanish for cave." ""Couleur" could be French." "I think it means paint." "I spent a semester in Paris." "Got salmonella poisoning and lost 20 pounds." "Best diet ever!" "Painted caves!" "That's it." "Bouchard was French, but he was fascinated with the Chumash Indians." "Whoa, whoa!" "Chumash Indians." "Well, they used to paint caves all over the area." "We used to roust punks in there from drinking all the time." ""Roust punks"?" "Thank you, Jack Lord." "We will now lead you to the treasure." "I know the cave." "Very well." "Let's go." "Stop." "You are not doing this." "The only reason I brought these men here, in the first place, was because Spencer would not talk with us unless he was in the station." "Okay." "Look, I said we would cooperate with you, but they are employees of the SBPD, and they're not going anywhere without my detectives." "Chief, we have been through this, no?" "This is from your Treasury Department, giving me full power to call the shots." "Now, I thank you for your help, but it will no longer be needed." "(SPEAKS SPANISH)" "Sorry." "(BOTH GRUNTING)" "I can't believe we're actually digging for buried treasure." "I know, dude." "And you're getting your pants totally dirty and you don't even care." "I'm so proud of you." "Keep digging!" "(METAL CLANKING)" ""HB.' ' That could be for Hippolyte de Bouchard!" "Or Harry Belafonte." "No." "No, that doesn't make any sense." "Just get it out." "(GRUNTING)" "Oh my God." "It's real." "(LAUGHING) Sí." "ANDRES:" "Well done." "(SPEAKING SPANISH)" "You should know the Spanish government owes you a great debt of gratitude." "Now, could I please have the coins?" "(EXCLAIMING) Before we do that," "I should tell you, I know three things that you probably don't know." "Uno, the secret of NIM and the secret of my success?" "Same secret." "Dos, I know that you don't work for the Spanish government." "(CHUCKLES)" "And tres, these caves are actually quite slippery." "(GRUNTING)" "What are you doing?" "Bag!" "Bag!" "Bag!" "Bag!" "Bag!" "(SHOUTING IN SPANISH)" "What is going on?" "Why are we running?" "Why did we leave the caves?" "Hey!" "Shawn!" "Shawn!" "What happened to your other Puma?" "You gotta be kidding me!" "I lost another shoe?" "Let's go." "This way!" "(SHOUTING IN SPANISH)" "Jack!" "Jack!" "Yes!" "Hey, guys." "I told you I'd come back." "I've been tracking you the whole time." "You, uh, have the treasure?" "This is it." "(EXCLAIMING) I always believed in you, kid." "I always knew you were special." "(ANDRES SHOUTING IN SPANISH)" "Ah, no, no, no, no, no." "You can't come in here." "We gotta split up for safety." "Listen, they're not gonna hurt you if you don't have the gold." "Believe me." "I know what I'm talking about." "What?" "Come on!" "Let's have it." "Remember the place on Foothill, where I used to take you when you were a kid, get you burgers and shakes?" "Yeah, it's Red Robin." "It's still there." "That's the one." "Meet you there in an hour." "I'll be there." "Yee-haw!" "MARK:" "Damn it!" "You gave him the gold, didn't you?" "Hey!" "That's my gold." "Who the hell are you?" "If there were doves flying around, we'd be in a John Woo movie." "MARK:" "Son of a bitch." "I'm going to kill Jack." "Oh, you know Jack?" "He was my partner." "He was my partner!" "Uh, technically," "Iron Giant guy, he was all of our partners." "And the guy who answers the phone at Fu's Palace." "And the guy at the muffler shop." "Good catch, Gus." "Look, fellas, we're just gonna roll on out, if that's cool." "Let you settle your business here." "Not so fast." "Why don't we just take the nephew and ransom his ass for the gold?" "We have no other choice." "No, no, no, no!" "(STAMMERING) You always have a choice." "You could ransom Gus' ass." "You could swirl it up." "You could ransom half my ass and half his ass." "(POLICE SIREN WAILING)" "Drop it!" "Hands in the air!" "Shawn, you know I don't curse very often." "So when I do, you know I mean it." "What the hell just happened?" "I thought you weren't a big fan of the wrap up." "All right, I'll give it to you." "So, back at station, I realize Andres' accent isn't Spanish, it's Argentinean." "And that's where Uncle Jack just got back from, so I figure he's one of Jack's partners." "How did you know that?" "He worked in that winery in Argentina for a year." "I kept the postcards." "You did?" "I use them as beer coasters." "Okay, Shawn, but..." "So that's why I called Andres "che,"" "to see if he'd react." "Which he did." "Because in Argentina," ""che" is slang for "buddy" or "pal.' '" "Sort of like I call you "black star" or "home skillet" or "big baby Burton.' '" "Don't ever call me "home skillet.' '" "Right." "But why didn't you tell anybody?" "I did." "She knew just what to do with it." "Sorry, Jules." "HENRY:" "Doesn't matter what happened." "The important thing is you guys are safe and nobody got hurt." "Now, let's get out of here." "I'm too old to be staying up all night." "Can't believe I lost my other shoe." "Dude, I will buy you another pair." "Just tell me you didn't really drop 200 bones on sneakers." "No, Shawn." "I was making a point." "How much were they, really?" "80 bucks." "And I had $32 left on my Foot Locker gift card." "So, what am I looking at, like 30 bucks?" "48." "I'm in for half." "We'll get some jerk chicken on the way home." "Fine." "HENRY:" "Hey." "Hey." "Strawberry, huh?" "Oh, you gotta taste it." "I'd still go vanilla." "It's good." "Are you kidding me?" "That is the best shake on the planet." "One part ice-cream, two parts awesome!" "It's been a long time since you called me for a ride." "Yeah, well, Gus got tired of waiting for someone who wasn't gonna show." "All right, look, Shawn." "Here's the thing about your Uncle Jack." "He'll always come back." "You're not the first to get duped." "You certainly won't be the last." "Welcome to the club, kid." "I guess I probably owe you an apology." "I can see now where Uncle Jack might not have been the best role model." "Yeah." "Maybe not." "Why didn't you say anything when I was a kid?" "Because I always wanted you to have the..." "The "fun uncle" in your life." "I was only hard on you because I didn't want your life to turn out like the "fun uncle.' '" "Well, it didn't." "Not totally." "Here you go." "Thanks." "You know that penny thing?" "Your grandpa taught me that, and then I taught it to Jack when we were kids." "He just took it to another whole level." "Yeah, he, uh..." "He seems to do that a lot." "I still can't believe that he got away with the gold." "You gotta think that someday all this stuff is gonna catch up with him, huh?" "Yeah." "And that day might just be today." "Does Gus know about this?" "Oh, yeah." "He's got the rest of it." "Don't worry." "We're donating it to the museum." "All of it?" "Ish." "(STAMMERING)" "I saw Jack following us." "I knew he was gonna show up in the car." "I made the switch when we were running through the forest." "So what does Jack have?" "(CHUCKLING)" "Well done, Shawnie." "(CHUCKLING) Well done." "Well done." "In between the lines there's a lot of obscurity" "I'm not inclined to resign to maturity" "If it's all right then you're all wrong" "But why bounce around to the same damn song?" "You'd rather run when you can't crawl" "I know, you know That I'm not telling the truth" "I know, you know They just don't have any proof" "Embrace the deception Learn how to bend" "Your worst inhibitions tend to psych you out in the end" "I know, you know" "I know, you know"