"Man, this Islamapalooza thing is killing me." " What's an Islamapalooza?" " Yeah, besides a bad play on words." "Muslim youth day." "This year I'm calling it "Islamapalooza"." "Get it?" "Islam like islam and..." " Palooza!" " Now we get it, you've taken two words and you've put them together there like" ""not" and "impressive"" "it's "notpressive"." "Hey, be nice." "He's just trying to make it hipper for the kids." "Does the kids live in the year 1994?" "Wow, somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." "Yeah, the side where my alarm-clock says 3 AM." "Your alarm-clock's broken?" "No, I had to pull a double shift at the clinic." "So, you know how I feel." "Are you comparing me, pulling a double shift at the clinic to you putting two words together?" "It's more than that, I'm also renting a bouncy castle." "I haven't done it but I'm thinking about." "Oh yeah, saving lives, bouncy castle, oh it's all about the same." "Gotta go." "Hey can I go on the bouncy castle?" "You have to be under ten." "s02e04 :" "Lucky day #freelance subs transcript/synch : [dx]" "Ortho :" "Till" "Future site of the Mercy park gazebo." "When I was running for mayor, I ran on a gazebo building platform." "And today, I'm delivering that platform." "That... gazebo..." "Which... you know it's a kinda platform." "Anyway, I officially declare this ground..." "Broken!" "Thank you." "And now, I turn it over to Yasir Hamoudi, of Hamoudi Contracting." " Overwhelmed by the press." " You'll get used to it." "A gazebo, it's every contractor's dream." "The angles, the wood-working, the uptime." "Well, you were the only man for the job." " Well it's..." " Seriously, no one else was there." "My God, those pumps are killing me." "How do you construction guys stand around all day?" "I wear flats." " Ow!" " Careful!" "What the heck was that?" "I'm gonna say, a rock." "Well it's dangerous, someone could get hurt." "Better put that pump of dirt back where it was." "You do understand the concept of a groundbreaking, yes?" "You're stressed, you need time off." "Yeah, I don't have time to talk about taking time off." "Come on, look, I know you have vacation days saved up." "Yeah, I'm kinda collecting them." "No offense but that's a really crappy hobby." "Seriously, I'm worried about you." "Maybe you need to take some time off." " You need me to write you a note?" " No." " I'll write it and I'll sign "Rayyan's mom"." " That's my girl." "Oh listen, can you grab me a lottery ticket?" "That's not for you." " Why not?" " It's... gambling, and muslims don't gamble." "You're a muslim." " You can't win if you don't play." " It is a sin to win." "That's a catchy slogan." "Fine, no ticket." "Can I ring through the milk or are you gonna talk about that too?" "The roof is leaking." "Well I'm glad the first consultation is free." "You were right to come to me, roofing's my speciality." "I demand a fair price." "I will not been taken advantage of." " But there's one thing you should know." " What's that?" " I'm desperate." " Brother Baber, you're like family," "I will not dream of taking advantage of you." "Though it is tempting 'cuz you're in a tough spot." " Come tomorrow?" " Oh no, no!" "Not for a long time, I'm building a gazebo." "When can you come?" "I'll check my date timer." "Why are you pretending to be hurt?" "So you can charge me more." "It won't work!" "How much more?" "It's a thing the mayor found in the dirt, very sharp." " It's in paddle head." " Yes, you like it?" "Keep it." "Are you trying to part me up by giving me a rock?" " A rock will not fix my roof." " Well then give it back." " No it's mine." " I'll tell you what," "I'm gonna fix the immediate problem now," " and finish later." " Fine." " Salam aleikum." " Waleikum salam." "What are you up to?" "I was doing the grocer puzzle and then I lost interest and now I'm doing this thing where there are two slightly different cartoons." "See, on this one the squirrel has three stripes on his shirt and on this one he only has two." "Wow, nothing passes you." "I'm taking some time off." "So I am going to catch up on my sleep and go for walks." "And... count the stripes on squirrels." " Sounds relaxing." " I am incredibly bored." "Yeah, sounded boring." "Listen, why don't you help me with..." "Islamapalooza!" "I have a coranic quiz to do." " I don't know." " Come on!" "You always want me to let you more involved in the mosque, here is your chance!" "Can I spell quiz with a "K" to show that it's a fun game?" "Oh you mean "K" like "K.W.I.Z"?" "I was just going to do the regular spelling with a "K", but your way is much better." "Who says muslims can't have fun?" " Excuse me." " Are you okay?" " It's probably my throat." " No that's a predictive cough for sure." " Is that bad?" " Well" "I'm sorry," "I am off duty." "Hey, in this one he's wearing a glove and in this one, he's not." "You can't fool me, squirrel." "Lottery's up to ten million." "What would you buy?" "Something cool, like a shark?" "Or something practical, like a big box of diamonds?" "Why choose?" "A diamond-covered shark!" "Oh, me without a ticket!" " You always buy a ticket." " Oh, I'm not supposed to gamble." " It's a muslim thing." " This isn't gambling." " It's a lottery." " What are you talking about?" "The odds are so bad it's like throwing money away." "So it's really a selfless act." "A selfless act that can get me a trained diamond shark." " Sharks train now?" " Bah, for what I'm paying!" "You know, you've really got more chances to be hit by lightning." "Would you call it gambling to go outside in a thunderstorm?" " I'll call it stupid." " I'm gonna do it then." "If you need to leave, go ahead!" " Professor Gracko." " Baber Siddiqui." "What is it now?" "You're not going to ask me to look at something new you found in the ground?" " You're an archeologist." " And you're an economist and I don't come down to your end of the campus and ask you to look at my pie-charts." "But this is good." "I wish I'd never met you." "I don't know why I joined Facebook." "Look!" "Look at that..." "That's chiseled." "It's a" " It's very crude." " Don't insult it." " No, crude is good, it means it's old." " Can I borrow?" " Oh suddenly the" "Thank you..." "Thank you." "Okay, Islamapalooza," " What are we doing?" " Activities, it's fun for kids" " from 9 to 99." " So kids can't come up there under 9?" "Allright then, but no one over a hundred!" "So how's your cough by the way?" "My cough, I totally forgot it." "Well that's okay." "As long as it hasn't turned from a productive cough into a persistent hack" "Why?" "What would that mean?" "Oh, nothing, I'm sure you're fine." "Unless you have stiff neck, but I'm sure you're fine." "My neck is stiff." "Now, I think." "How is your appetite?" "Not good, why?" "Cuz I'm wondering if you're gonna finish those fries." "Yeah, go ahead." "I can't believe it, I won, I won!" " What have you won?" " The lottery!" " The ten million cheque?" " No, $5.000!" "$5.000...?" "$5.000!" "I can't believe that I won!" "I won!" " Have you told Rayyan yet?" " No, of course not!" "These bouncy castles look expensive." "We could pay it with a bouncy cheque." "Okay, I'm going to pick one out, do you wanna try it?" "Oh I can't, bad knee." "Did you had a tendon shot when you were a kid?" " Why?" " I'm sorry," " I don't need to get on medical again." " No, no, please." " It's hard to turn it off." " I have tendness?" "Well, is the pain in your knee stabbing or shooting?" "It barely hurts, oh, maybe a little stab." "OK, well that's not as bad then." "As bad as what?" " Let's get this red one." " As bad as what?" "OK, now it's actually quite" " Ow!" "What is going on?" "Isn't it exciting, archeological excavation!" "You can't do this, I'm supposed to build a gazebo here!" "Oh no, that's been shut down." "The province has deemed this site as potential historical importance." "I have a job to do!" "Sorry, it shouldn't take more than three weeks." " You still have to pay us." " I know." "Look at these tiny brooms that they have." "Hey, sweep faster!" "Excuse me just for a sec." "Oh, you don't have to do this on my camp." "I didn't." "I just felt very cold on that side." "See?" "He's been doing this all morning, switching from hot to cold." "Is that bad?" "It is, isn't it?" "You might create a low-pressure system but..." "He's been looking at medical sites on the internet." "I have a stiff neck!" "My eyes are sore, my arm is cramping." "All the symptoms of looking at medical sites on the internet." "I'm very thirsty." "I can't stop drinking water." "Excuse me." " You think he's sick?" " Why?" "Cuz he's thirsty?" "Although his insuline levels might have a dropped a little." "Sometimes it causes people to" "It's you!" "You're doing it!" " Doing what?" " You can't turn it off!" "You're a symptom machine, you're making Amaar sick." "Amaar is a grown man, if I throw at him medical terms, it's not going to turn him into a mosh." "Guys, do my elbows look correctly to you?" " Yeah I'll talk to him." " Good." " You, you did that on purpose." " What?" "You shot down my gazebo site." "Now, the town will go gazebo-less." "It's not like we have us all-gazebo or an old gazebo, we have no gazebo at all, zero gazebo." "What... would I possibly get from your site being shut down, huh?" "Well, you have a crew sitting idle." "And you have a roof that needs to be fixed." "You can get him to do it at a fraction of its original estimate." "Thank you very much Fatima, private conversation." "I expect a tip." "Wait, wait, wait, don't you see she is right?" "You can do my roof, and you can give me a discount." "Brother Baber, you would not take advantage of my misfortune, would you?" "Ah, business is business, you do my roof for half the price, it is win-win." "How is that win-win?" "Win-loose, win-win, either way, my roof does not leak." "Five grands, not bad!" "Well it's not shark-buying good, but it's good." " Huh?" " Nothing?" "Well thanks for calling ahead, we can't redeem these big wins without advanced notice." "Why is that anyway?" "We have to pre-book the confetti cannon." "What's a confetti" "Congratulations to Sarah Hamoudi!" "You've won!" " Will this be in the papers?" " Seems possible." "Lottery winner" "We should hide this from Rayyan, except, it's a pretty flattering picture though, isn't it?" "You are the most beautiful woman on the entire page." "Well the other pictures are obituaries." "And you put them all to shame, darling." "Mmmmh, I smell coffee." "You're up early." "Actually it's pretty late." " Have a great day." " I'm on vacation." "Well then I'll make you a coffee to go." "Why are you trying to rush me out the door?" " You're the one who said you were late." " No I said it was late." "Well then, catch up to it." "Thanks, why are you hiding the newspaper like that." "Now she has time to read the paper." "She's late but she has time to read it." "What an odd girl." " Isn't she an odd girl, Yasir?" " A very strange girl." "Why are you putting the newspaper in the garbage?" " Whoops, I'll just get it out." " Take it out." " Well, I should get going." " Yes." "There, there she goes." "Why doesn't she want me to read the newspaper?" "Because she won five grands at the lottery, she doesn't want you to know, she knows it's not islamic," " and you're gonna give her a hard time." " I am." " And I thank you." " I'm here to help." " What are you doing here?" " I'm coming on the day." "I've seen you at work, you need all the help you can get." "I've rescheduled my lectures on consumption anomalies." "You cannot do that to your students." "They can wait, you and I, are on the doorstep of history!" "You, are the "door stop" of history." "There's nothing worse than having an amateur archeologist around." "I know exactly what you mean." "Oh, shall I get my fit helmet?" "I thought you said you were going to stop buying lottery tickets." "Oh see, honey, it was all just a terrible mistake." "You see, I didn't know that they were going to take my picture" " and you wouldn't have seen it." " I think you're missing the point." " What if I pray more?" " Still missing the point." " I'll go to the sermon every Friday." " You already do that." "The point is that our faith has rules." "See I was never really good with rules honey, when I was in school, I-- always let my hall pass in the bathroom." "Why are you a muslim?" "Because, you know, Allah's the only god and all that... and your father's a muslim and it's just a lottery ticket, it's not like I went to Vegas and played Russian Roulette." "Russian Roulette is the game where you try not to shoot yourself in the head." "Now you see, I would never do that." "I think... you may have some soul-searching to do." "Right, can I spend the five grands first?" "Rayyan?" "Have you spoken to Amaar yet?" "No, why?" "I meant to tell you this before, and it might sound kinda silly, but I think maybe me talking about medicine a lot has turned you into a bit of a hypochondriac." "What do you mean?" "Where did you get the old style ice bag anyway?" "You borrowed it from Andy Capp?" "Who's he?" "Is he sick too?" "You're fine, there's nothing wrong with you!" "But both my knees hurt now." "Plus my bloody sciatic." "OK, you know what?" "You are sick." "Don't worry, cuz we're going to knock it out of your systems." "Where are those placebos?" "Why, you have something?" "No, if I had something, why would I treat myself with placebos?" "No, no, no, sometimes they really work, you know, the power of suggestion." "And, I'm back on vacation." "Thank you." "So we're agreed, we'll expand these trial trenches to the south-west trench." "And then to the north-west." "I'm not agreed, we should excavate around where we found the arrow-head." "I'm sorry." "I should have said, we archeologist agree with one non-archeologist dissenting." "You would not even be here if it was not for me." "Starting to sound pretty good." "Uh, was that important?" "So you're feeling better?" "Like you said, knocked out of the system." "Pollen." "Salam aleikum." "Should you be shaking hands with everyone when you're sick?" "I feel great." "Don't I look it?" "Absolutely." " Salam aleikum." " I would wash my hands if I were you." "No, she's just kidding." "Professor Gracko," "I found a bunch of bottle caps." "Why would you show me that?" "New Coke, remember?" "New Coke!" "Baber, archeology is a slow, meticulous process," "I need you to move slowly, carefully and stay focused!" "Yes sir." "OK guys, down time, I can't take this anymore." "Rayyan is being so unreasonable." " She's a muslim." " I'm a muslim." "Yeah, but she's a real muslim." "You know, when someone's more pious than you, there's only one thing you can do." " Aspire to their level?" " Of course not." "Drag her down to yours." "Wow, why don't you just hold the pitch fork and wear a red suit?" "Drag her up to my level how?" "Plan a night on the town, she's off-work, take her out and spend some of your ill-gotten gains on her." "Make her an accomplice, tarnish her pure soul." "It's the only decent thing to do." "Yeah, but I'm her mother, are you sure I'm acting in her best interest?" "It's love, Sarah." "Well..." "Tainted love." "Salam A-lei-kum." "Waleikum salam." "Did you just salaamed me?" "You never salaam me." "Well, I need some advice, some spiritual advice." "Really?" "Of... course!" "Are you OK?" "You look sick." "Rayyan gave me some super pills, it knocked it right out of my system." "Right, I'll just sit way over here, you, sit there." "I don't understand, why is my roof not being fixed?" "I'm sorry brother, we just heard the archeological thing is over, it's gazebo time!" "Already?" "But they are digging so slowly." "Something must have motivated them to dig faster." "But Yasir, you and I had a deal." "Business is business, oh, one more thing, after taking a closer look at your roof, it's a lot more work thant I thought." "I'll be back Tuesday, with a revised estimate." "Gracko!" "Dinner and a movie in the city." "Well that's awfully nice of you." "You're worth it, what do you say?" "You just want my permission to spend your lottery money" " and not feel guilty about it." " Not true, I already spent my money." "Oh yeah, what did you buy?" "A "world's worst muslim" coffee mug?" "What kind of coffee mug will cost $5.000?" "No I'll have you know I spent the money on a little something that starts with "i" and ends with "a" and has "slamapalooz" in the middle." "Islamapalooza?" " You donated the money to the mosque?" " Anonymously," "I just felt it was the right thing to do." "Mom, oh my gosh I'm so proud of you." "$5.000 pays a lot of facepennies and loopegs." "Yes it does, that's why you're buying me dinner." "And pop-corn." "OK, be calm now." "Nurse's deal." "You're breaking my concentration." " This is very delicate." " I'm sorry, I know, this is important." "So, what does the ring toss has to do with Islam anyway?" "Well the... rings represent our striving to live by the teachings of..." "Islam, and the bottles represent... glass." "Nothing, but it's fun." "At least it's supposed to be fun." "And I handed to you though Amaar, you really pulled it off, you got the bouncy castle, the obstacle course, this is the best Islamapalooza ever!" "It's too bad nobody came." "I don't understand, I went from house to house, passing up flyers, shaking hands, eating with people," " Right in people's faces?" " Yeah." "Touching their stuff?" "Spreading the word and" "Germs..." "Germs, no, what are you talking about?" "You gave me those pills!" "Yeah, I think it should be allright, I'm gonna go back to the clinic." " What's up?" " I'm guessing an outbreak of flu among muslim families with young children." "Wow, you're like House." "Where do you want the petting zoo?" "transcript/synch : [dx] #freelance subs" "Ortho :" "Till" "Hello."