"Ladies and gentlemen of the hallway, it's yearbook time!" "Hi, page 42." "Hi, pages 27, 34, and 58." "You're doing too much." "You should calm down." "Yearbooks!" "Find out who we are and what we really think about each other." "You wanna know what I think about you?" " No, I do not." " But I wanna tell you." " I don't think you need to." " I'm gonna do it anyway." " Don't do it." " It's been a while." "I'm asking you not to do it." "I'm gonna do it." "You wanna run, or you want it straight in the face?" "Well, I wanna run, but how would that look?" "You guys wouldn't judge me if I run, right?" "Come on, man." "There's always another option." "You okay now?" "Hmm." "That was good." "You know else is good?" "Yearbooks." "All of our classmates say what they think of us." "Yearbook, find out how we'll be remembered." "Guess what." "You took another nice picture, you freak." "Thanks, Farkle." "How will you be remembered?" "Did they do it to you again?" ""Most likely to be Farkle..."" "Farkle." "I didn't think I'd win it again this year, but I did." "What does that mean exactly, Farkle?" "How should I know?" "They turned being me into a category." "Hey, Riley won most likely to smile herself to death." "Aw." "Well, who wouldn't wanna go that way?" "I mean, when the time comes, why you gotta be a gloomy Gus?" "Riles, I don't think they meant this as a good thing." "They're making fun of me, and they're making fun of you too." " What?" " Would you stop smiling?" "I'm not smiling, Maya." "This is my upset face." "This is smiling." "You know what?" "I don't care what they say." "Neither do I." " I don't care what they say at all." " Neither do I at all." "How did this stuff even get in here?" "We're the editors." "Wow, we must have very poor quality control." "What did you get, huckleberry?" "I got most likely to be okay with anything that ever happens." "How do you feel about that?" "Well, actually, I'm okay with that." "Oh!" "I'm not all sunshine and rainbows." "I have a dark side." "Let me see your dark-side face." " Aw." " Aw." "Look, guys, we're not gonna make a huge deal out of this, are we?" " Yeah." "Who cares?" " It's only what everybody thinks of us." "What's more important to you?" "What you think of yourself or what other people think of you?" " What I think of myself." " Yeah." "And what I think of myself is that it really bothers me what other people think of me." " Yeah." " Well, forget about it." "It's not like you can just turn around and be someone new." "Yeah." "This is me now." " Farkle?" " Nope, Farkle is gone." "You will never see him again." "Okay, what have we got here?" "I'm Donnie Barnes." "Really, Farkle, of all the names in the world you could pick for another personality, you pick Donnie Barnes?" "You don't get it, do you?" "I'm Donnie Barnes, regular guy." "I'd see that movie." "Donnie Barnes is the real me." "Farkle Minkus is my goofy other personality." "No, you're Farkle." "Look, I'll prove it to you." "See?" "How did you possibly do that?" "I don't wanna be most likely to be Farkle." "Face it, cowboy." "There's a new pretty boy in town." "Thank you." "I am..." "Donnie Barnes." "Are you gonna do something?" "Because this is where you do something, right?" "Are you gonna do something?" "Is there a lesson?" "You got a lesson?" "Is there a lesson?" " Iceland." " Iceland!" "You all fixed?" "No?" "I don't think he's all fixed." "If that was Riley, you know you'd fix her." " Sit down, Lucas." " Oh, you know I'm right." "Iceland and Greenland." "What do you think about them, Mr. Barnes?" "When I look like this, I don't have to think, right, Lucas?" "Dude, I won the scholar athlete award." "Ooh, nerd alert!" "Iceland and Greenland, anybody?" " Iceland is a land of ice." " Wrong." " Then Greenland is a land of green." " Wrong." "Then who cares?" "Stupid countries don't even know who they are." "Stupid countries." "The vikings discovered this beautiful green country." " I come from vikings." " You do?" "You don't know me." "Okay." "So, the vikings, they didn't want anyone else taking their new country, so they decided to name it Iceland." "Everyone figures it must be cold." "Nobody wants to go there." "So they made everybody think of it in that way even though it wasn't true?" "That's right." "Then another viking comes along, Erik the red, and he discovers a land of snow and ice." "And he wants everyone to go there instead, so he names that Greenland, and everyone goes there." "The jerks!" "So you're saying the perception of a thing doesn't make it so?" "I'm saying people are always gonna say stuff." "How you react to what they say is what makes you the person you are." " So don't react." " That's right." "Just keep on smiling." "Would you, please?" "Lesson over." "And nothing anybody else says is ever going to make me feel any different." "Hey, Maya, Lucas, congratulations on winning favorite couple." "I feel different." "How is that possible?" "How could anybody ever see me and Lucas as a couple?" "Everybody does." "But we're so much alike." "And they're so different." "But we're like a summer rain." "And they're like fire." "Daddy, remember when you told me not to react?" "Yes." "I'm gonna react." "You open this bay window right now." "I wish to be alone." "Ring power!" "Curses!" "Hey, Riley, funny question." "Have you seen everything black I own?" "Oh, hey, look at you." "There is no more Riley." "My name is Morotia M. Black." "What does the M. Stand for?" "Morotia." "Poor, dark thing, you." "Yeah, she's very depressed." "Oh?" "Well, that's too bad." "You know, the neighbor's golden retriever just gave birth to six puppies." "Must fight cute!" "Oh, but have they met the other neighbor's bunnies yet?" "They just did." "There is a bunny and a puppy nibbling at opposite ends of the same carrot." "Gah!" "They're gonna kiss." "This is fantastic." " That's exactly what the pony said." " No!" "Cut it out!" " You snap out of it." " And do what?" "Smile myself to death?" "Riley is gone." "Everybody else is right." "I'm wasting my life, and I'm tired of being chip-chip-chipper." "You are being ridiculous." "Is there anybody more ridiculous than you?" "Knock, knock." " Who's there?" " I'm Donnie Barnes!" "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I really miss, "ladies."" "That's a catchphrase, and Donnie Barnes don't need no stinking catchphrase." "You know why?" "I'm Donnie Barnes." "Shplidow!" "Okay, I'm out." "Riley, I came over to check on you." "Because, well, I kind of expected this." "Donnie Barnes, regular guy." "Morotia M. Black." "Shplidead inside." "I feel you." "What's say you and I play by our own rules?" "Shall we sit and ponder on the ridiculous futility of caring?" "Let's do it." "You get me." "Stop." "Riley, is this about the me and Lucas best couple thing?" "That doesn't affect me at all." "We need Riley back." "There is no value to the existence of Riley." "Well, we need Riley back to get Farkle back." "There is no value to the existence of Farkle, dude." "Guys, listen, okay, I know you're hurt." "I know what people say can be upsetting, but I have no interest living in a world without Riley or Farkle." "And I'm not going anywhere until you two come back." "You hear me?" "Maya, the people you knew aren't here anymore." "Then can you please tell me where I can find them?" "They're in the yearbook." "Keep in touch and have an awesome summer." "Knowing you is so hard." "Pay no attention to the bunny night-light." "I'm Donnie Barnes." "Mom, I need your help." "Oh, I don't think I've ever heard more beautiful words come out of that little face." "You're a great actress/waitress, right?" "Well, some have said my crowd person number three in hey, mister, watch out for that car was life-changing." "Yes." "Hey, mister, you should have watched out for that car, yeah!" "I need you to turn me into Riley." " Does Riley need to say, "hey, mister..."" " No." "No?" "Well, is she willing to?" "I don't know how to do what she does, all right?" "She fixes things." "I break things." "We need someone to be her." "You wanna be Riley Matthews, you gotta get inside her soul." "My soul motel has no vacancy." "It is fully occupied by scary Jack-o-lanterns and candy corns." "Aw, dark Riley is really scraping the bottom of the Halloween barrel, now isn't she?" "You didn't teach me enough bad things." "I'm so sorry, honey." "Riley, we need you back to fix Farkle." "It's what you do." "What if we are fixed?" "What if this is who we're supposed to be?" "Ma, you gotta help me out here." "If she's not gonna be her, I will." "Show me how." "All right, but before you become another person, understand that you may learn things about them you didn't know before." "You may learn a secret even they don't know about themselves." "Riley, this is your last chance, or else, I become you, and know all of your secrets." "Nonsense." "It's impossible to become somebody else." "I love today." "Today is even better than yesterday, and yesterday was the best day ever!" "I'd think about tomorrow, but I am afraid I'd burst into sparkles." "Oh, there it is." "There it is." "If you were better, perhaps I'd gasp." " Stop it." " Stop it." "Gasp." "Please be back to normal." "Please be back to normal." "I'm Donnie Barnes." "What the..." "Life is what we do between nothings." "Is this a New York thing, or what is this?" "Maya?" "Lollipops, and circuses, and things that rhyme with that." "No!" "This is your solution, Maya?" "Hi." "Hey." "Hi." "No!" "Please be back to normal." "Please be back to normal." "What's up, hambone?" "Don't worry, daddy." "I'm going to fix everybody right up." "All right, you know what?" "It's Lucas time." "You're the best Farkle we got, and everyone knows it." "And you are a complete ray of sunshine." "And you are not." "And that's who we are." "I don't know what this is." "But I do know that if you let someone say who you are, then you really won't be who you are, and you certainly won't end up being who you were meant to be." "If you end this with Iceland or Greenland," "I'll give you an a on the report right now." "Because you are the only one in here I recognize." "Don't worry." "I'm not gonna stay Riley." "I know how much everybody would miss me if I did." "No, no, stay Riley." "Yeah, you're a good Riley." "Wait." "You like us all like this?" "We like Riley." "We don't care who plays her." "What about Maya?" "Nothing we do matters." "Maya, you're the most secure person in this room." "You have a great life." "Why would you change?" "I mean, okay, not great life." "I mean, your family life could be, you know, better." "But at least at school, you're, uh... you're here a lot." "Right?" "Little help, please." "Donnie Barnes?" "I think people should be the best person they can be." "I agree." "Riley Matthews is the best person I can be." "Maya is gone, and you're never gonna see her again." "World peace." "And bunnies!" "Okay, do Cory." "He has to choose between me and Shawn." "Go." "Shawn." "I wonder how Maya is doing as Riley." "Oh, I hope everything is going okay." "Coming to terms with your identity can be so difficult at their age." "Well, I went through it." "I'm sure you and Cory went through it." "Yeah, I was weird." "Cory was celery." "Something will change because of this." "When you become someone else, even though you're just acting, it's impossible not to discover something you didn't know before." "Hmm." "Do you ever do Maya?" "Ooh, I can't." "When you have strong emotions for someone, it's like you're too close to see straight." "Hmm." "Do Shawn." "Hey, I'm Shawn." "That wasn't good." "You having some issues there, Katy?" "You set me up." "Huh." "All right, you all say I'm most likely to be okay with anything." "Well, I'm not okay with any of this." "I'm not okay with all you guys not realizing that what you say about people matters." "And I'm not okay with you guys thinking what people say about you matters." "You know what happened after everybody went to Greenland because someone told them to?" " Donnie?" " Riley?" "Black swan?" "They all died." "Yep." " What?" "Really?" " Really." "They came to an inhospitable, uninhabited ice ball named Greenland because someone said it was pretty, and the first thing they did was die." "The jerks!" "So please remember, you shouldn't pay attention to what everybody says." "Because if you listen to everybody else, you just might end up crashing your little ships onto the rocks." "But you should listen to the people who care about you." "Because they have your best interest at heart." "Right, buddy?" "You're much more than just a regular guy." "Aw, Lucas, you're a very sweet guy." "That's why I always liked you since I fell into your lap on the subway." "It's why we should have been favorite couple, because we're so much alike." "You know, it's like we're two sunshine-y people from the same sunshine-y family." "That's why I like you so much." "It's like you're my brother." "Oh." " It's like he's your..." " What?" "Whoa." "What just happened?" "Uh, nothing." "Nothing happened." "I don't wanna be Riley anymore." "Only you're Riley." "I'm Maya." "We don't care what you say." "We're not crashing our ships." "Come back." "Come back right now." "Wow." "There is a lot of light in this world." "If you let it in, yeah." "You know who taught me that?" "Me." "The real you, yeah." "We need you back, Riley." "If you wanna listen to what people say, listen to the right people." "Listen to me." "I'm Maya." " Maya." " Yeah, sunshine." "Your mom told you that you might find out a secret about me." "Did you find anything out about me that maybe you should tell me?" "No." "Did the bunny and the puppy really kiss?" "Absolutely, Riley, they did." "But I know that the pony didn't actually talk." "I can't keep anything from you." "That's because I'm a smarty-pants." "Yes, you are." "Can you please fix everything now?" "There it is." "Yeah, we know who we are." "And you know who you are." "You're Farkle, and it's a state of being." "There's only one, and everybody who cares about you knows that." "You are in your own category, Farkle." "I'm glad you guys are back to normal." "I love you both any way you are." "So you're gonna come back too?" " No." " Why not?" "Because people change, Lucas." "I think you know that better than anyone." "And I think it could be a good thing." "What?" "You don't have to call me Donnie Barnes." "I made that up." "My name is Farkle Minkus." "I'm growing up." "And I don't know what's gonna happen next." "But you guys are my best friends, so deal with it." "Okay, Farkle, who are you?" "I wanna know the new rules." "I'm finding out who I am." "You know who you are." "You have your own category named after you." "What's a Farkle anyway?" "A Farkle is a loyal, loving, best possible friend that there could be." "I think everyone should have one." "But they don't, and I do." "And I never want him to go away." "A Farkle is a nerdy, little scientist genius." "You say that like it's a bad thing." " Is it?" " No." "Not to me." "And not to the people who truly care about you." "So it's okay if I stay the scientist that I am?" "Yes." "And you'll allow me to run some tests?" "What kind?" "In order for a living organism to thrive, it needs to be allowed to grow." "I hear you." "I may not wear my turtlenecks every day." "I'll miss them." "You still wanna take over the world?" "I wanna take over myself first." "But then, yeah, the world." "Well, I'm right here next to you." "Thanks." "I never want that to change." " Sign my yearbook?" " Of course."