"Passengers traveling to Paris are asked to board at gate 12." "Didier shhh." "Where did I put my boarding pass?" " Plus I forgot my sleeping pills." " Have a drink it's the same." " Will you be OK Jean-Pierre?" " Yes." "Take your magazines." "Mmmmm." "Kevin Deer." "Which do you prefer?" " He's not bad, eh?" " Sure, you're going to be late." "I can't wait to meet him." "For his last film he did 6 months of Tae Bo." "It's magnificent." "What moves!" "I've been learning." "Did you see the cover of of "Cahiers du Cinéma"" "What about in "Crash"." "Wasn't he sublime?" "And "I'm No Angel" with Jonathan Swyke?" "When he finds his brother at the end, I was in tears." "He does have the nicest butt in Hollywood." "You're right." "Come on Annabelle, we should board." "Didier, mommy has to go work now." "But she's coming home very soon." "So be a good dog for 10 days." " Don't tell him how long." " Dogs have no notion of time." "1 year is 7 for a dog." "Do the math, 10 days is going to make him sick." "Well Didier..." "Jean Pierre is daddy now." " You're sure you don't mind?" " Of course not." "I don't mind at all." "I almost forgot..." "His squeek-squeek" "He sleeps with it in his basket." "Ok go now because he's getting riled up." "It's fine...mommy just went to do some shopping." "For now it's daddy who is taking care of you." "Good dog." "Nice dog, just what I needed right now." "What's wrong?" "Come one." "Stupid dog." "Ok here we go, we're off." "We're leaving." "We're gone." "NowJean,forthe gameWednesday, it's going to be a doozy." "Iftheboyslosethat game , they're down to division 2..." "Especiallynowwiththeir striker limping around." "He's not limping!" "You don't know anything." "Oh shut up." "Timeforacommercialbreak." "The yellow is too yellow." "I tried with a less yellow yellow." "Jean-Pierre is here for you." "What's with the dog?" "This is Didier." "He's Annabelle's dog." "He's nice, eh?" "I wanted to ask, could you keep it for 3 or 4 days?" "Because it's really hard for me to do it right now..." "I don't have...euh..." "Plus he's really really nice." "I'm sure he would get along great with your kitty." " She's a cat." " You're cat." "And how is your blond tramp?" "My blond tramp?" "The blond tramp I saw you with on Monday." "What does she do in life besides people?" "That was Barbara, Fabrice's girlfriend." "Jean-Pierre I'm sick of you only calling me when you need something." "So you keep the dog and I'm giving back your keys." "Do what you want." " That's not nice." " No it's not nice." "But I have work to do so please leave me alone." "Beige?" "Yes of course." "Why did I take this tunnel?" "I know there's always construction." "Why did I take the tunnel?" "I'm so stupid." "Go, move it." "No!" "Super." "I can tell this is going to be fun." "Ready!" "Come on, you can kick harder." "Wait 2 seconds!" "Fabrice, Mendes, go with the others," "Stupid, stupid why?" "No, not stupid..." "I just think that it's a little stupid Didier for a dog's name" "Calling a dog Didier, that's weird." "I don't see what's weird." "Jean-Pierre I'm telling you it's weird." "I don't see why Didier is weirder than Médor." "Or Pompon" "I find it funny but weird...." "You could also put a feather in his butt." "Is that funny?" "Putting a feather in his butt would just be degrading." "And the other is not degrading." "Is there a law that forbids calling a dog Didier?" "So you have something against dogs named Didier?" "No, not that!" "I think it's on the limit of weird..." "to call a dog by a human name." "I don't know why I care." "It's Annabelle who named him, not me." "Oh no!" "Richard?" "It's Coco." "It is a sprain, Fabrice." "That means 3 weeks of complete rest." "Impossible, I play at Le Parc in a week." "In a week you'll be playing cards, not at Le Parc." "3 weeks" "If you tell Richard he'll kill us." "One is limping and the other injured." "We're dead." "Baco's not limping much." "Jean Pierre, Baco limps." "What do we tell Richard?" "This season we bought 2 losers." "And with the goalkeeper injured..." "First, it's not his fault he's injured." "And Fabrice is not a loser." "I bet they get to breathe a little on the Bordeau team." "You're like the Apollo XIII rocket." "And here's Coco to make things worse." "I talked to Richard on the phone." "To tell him about Fabrice's sprain." "He wasn't happy at all." "He wants to see you at 7:30 tomorrow morning at his place." "Why did you have to call Richard?" "Fabrice will be fine in 3 days so why are you getting involved?" "Yeah sure." "Keep your hot air for tomorrow." "You'll need it." "Isn't he a jerk?" "We'll look around." "Nobody's up to par." "Tagillaud's not bad?" "Taguillaud?" "No way, he's a scarecrow." "I'd rather use Fabrice with his sprained ankle." "Who then?" " How are you Mijo?" " Hi Jean Pi!" "My dove" "It's growing, eh?" "The good side of pregnancy" "Charlie's thrilled" "I understand" "If it's a boy what do you think of Didier?" "I love Didier," "Right Charlie?" "I was telling you earlier how much I like Didier." "Hey my car!" "Pee elsewhere!" "Didier, I'm not so sure." "Maybe it's a girl." "That's it, stop there." "Stop." "Don't start huh?" "Now is not the time." "No begging!" "You spoiled yourself." "Don't grunt." "A real garbage, this dog." "Hi Charlie" "No, Coco will be there." "He's always there." "We will meet in Ecar." "And be on time... ya ya" "Yes we can go for a drink or two." "Yes that's fine." "And I'm penniless right now." "I've taken Richard's crap for awhile now Charlie." "How?" "Well first it's the taxes." "You know those papers they send you with large amounts you have to pay?" "So Charlie, tomorrow..." "no, no...go ahead..." "I already knew that joke with a different ending." "Tomorrow at 7:15?" "Ciao" "Oh no!" "Crap!" "You're bad!" "Crap!" "What a stupid dog." "Will you look at this!" "Yes go hide in your basket." "And bravo huh?" "!" "Today's the day everyone decided to get on my nerves." "Today" "(WEDNESDAY)" "It's time for the 6:15 France Express News." "Two councilors are questioned..." "Stand up." "Let go!" "What are you doing here?" "Get lost." "Get dressed and get lost." "Out!" "Your clothes" "Where are your clothes?" "Here." "What's wrong?" "You're not going to wear pants?" "Do you know how to put them on?" "These are pants." "Do you speak French?" "You put the first leg in..." "One...then the other leg is the same." "Who is this guy?" "Put the thing..." "put the thing inside." "This is a shirt, put this on." "It's time to go now." "Huh?" "It's time to go, because I'm in a hurry." "You can keep the pants and the rest of the clothes." "OK?" "It's this way, there." "Goodbye." "OK, goodbye." "Didier" "Didier" "Yum yum..." "Didier?" "Where is that stupid dog now?" " Good morning Mr. Costa" " Morning Mrs. Bécassignier" "Your friend can't stay on the landing." "He's not my friend." "He scratches." "Look what he did to the varnish on my door." "He scratches?" "Good morning Madame." "Why were you scratching?" "What do you want from me?" "Don't move." "What the heck are you still doing at home?" "Yes it's me, Coco." "The handsome guy with the ponytail." "Its 7:20, where are you?" "I'm on my way." "But there's this guy here." "He somehow got into my house." "Yeah whatever." "So you'll be here in 5 minutes." "I wonder what excuse he'll come up with next." "I have to hurry!" "I have to go, we have to go" "The two of us will leave." "And once outside we part ways." "OK?" "Mrs. Bécassignier I can't find my dog." "A labrador, about this big, very nice." "If you see him..." "No problem, I've had hamsters for 7 years." "people don't realize that 7 years is a long time for a hamster." "Is yours working?" "Yes, yours?" "If Fabrice doesn't recover we will find someone else." "Richard, really, I understand your apprehension, your worry." "Jean Pierre this makes 2 crappy players that you've sold me." "Baco is limping and now Fabrice has a sprain." "It's not apprehension or worry... but a feeling of being duped." "You understand?" "That was not our initial intention" "That reassures me." "Baco has already played a good match in Bordeaux and..." "Bordeaux was a robbery." "And since then Baco hasn't even touched the ball." "Pft, Baco." "And what will he do in 8 days in Paris?" "Sell souvenirs at half-time?" "At least those jerks don't care if you lose." "You didn't have to call the vendors jerks." "Jeesh, it was a joke." "Sorry I didn't get that, it wasn't very funny." "Jean-Pierre, are YOU going to be scoring the winning goals?" "Do you want to calculate what it would cost if we both lose?" "20 K, and that's just in sponsors." "Are you going to be the one to reimburse me?" "Dad?" "Daddy's working, come." "Jean-Pierre" "You injured your knee a while back, right?" "How is that?" "It's fine, it was 10 years ago." "Good..." "It would be a shame to break it again." "And why I would break it?" "Find a solution quickly." "I said quickly, what are you still doing here?" "Did you want some coffee?" "I loved Richard's suit." "He has nice suits." "Did you like what he said or did you have the image with no sound?" "He says he's going to break my knees and you like his suit?" " I'm trying to be positive." " It's not working." "We're screwed." "The king of chatter." "I'm impressed" "You going to stare a long time?" "I'll change the lock and he won't get in again." "He got in once but not twice." "Tell me when I can stop by to see the door and I'll do a quote." "As quickly as possible." "I live on Saraï Boulevard, number 33." "Ni port or starboard, the first nation" "What's up with the commotion in the neighborhood?" "Some young Nazis parading." "Young Nazis is a little harsh." "That's a good key." "Listen, let's be clear here." "I don't know what you want and I don't really care." "You are going to leave me alone now." "You need to forget me." "Forget me now." "Lover's quarrel?" "What do you want?" "She's nervous." "Okay it's fine." "We're leaving." "Wait." "Bingo!" "Wait here." "I'm going to get some cotton swabs." "Squeak-squeak?" "Where's the squeak-squeak?" "Search, search" "Didier !" "What are we going to do?" "It it there?" "Is the squeak-squeak there?" "I don't understand" "How do you explain it?" "One day you're a dog and the next a man." "I don't even believe what I just said." "The only explanation is that it's a Buddhist thing." "Like a reincarnation but super accelerated." "Or..." "Or a parallel universe." "I don't know." "I'm sure this isn't everything." "I mean, humans don't know everything, right?" "We know things... but not everything." "We don't know everything." "OK that's enough." "You're finished." "OK this is YOUR plate now." "Yuck, gross." "But how did you do it?" "Was it a morphing thing, like this?" "Didier, no not here!" "The toilet." "Pee... and caca..." "You stand in front and you put up the seat." "You put up the seat, so you don't make a mess." "You take out your little thingy, and you pee there, in the water." "Same thing with poop." "But sitting." "Yes, like that." "Get up." "When you're finished... you press here." "It's the flush." "Flush." "And... what else..." "And that's good." "Good?" "Questions?" "What?" "That's toilet paper." "Right, I forgot." "Thankfully you asked." "Not at all." "Oh la la." "Not at all." "You get a hold of the thing..." "And lift it up..." "There you go." "Good." "It's better than that canned crap." "Cranp." "Almost" "Didier..." "When you meet someone new you can't just go up and smell their butt." "It's important." "Very important." "No more smelling the butts of people we don't know." "OK?" "Yeah well..." "People know me in this neighborhood." "But you don't care." "Just trotting around." "I totally agree." "Ok true, we know her." "But you have to know someone a lot better to smell their butt." "That was the baker." "She sells bread." "Bread" "Forget the bread." "It's not important." "We don't smell butts." "We don't smell womens' butts." "Unless she asks you to." "If she asks, that's her choice." "Yes yes...but you said "yes" before and now..." "Yes, yes Coco." "I'll be there tonight." "Of course I'll be there with Richard." "Whatever, jerk." "I said I'd be at the bar." "Jerk." "What was I saying?" "Yes!" "Nobody else!" "Nobody." "Don't be silly." "You don't smell anybody's butt." "Not guys, not girls, not dogs, nobody!" "And especially not the landlady!" "I'm going to have to move because of your nonsense." "If you try to smell my butt you're out of here." "I'm warning you." "Didier" "Do not move huh?" "Daddy's going to get his head ripped of by Richard then he'll be back." " But Fabrice plays on Wednesday right?" " Yes, he's just resting right now." " Because you have to win huh?" " Yes, for sure." "Richard will be ready for you in 15 minutes." "Thank you." " Good luck." " Yeah, good luck." "Some matches?" "It's a girl!" " I saw the ultrasound" " Who?" "It's a girl." "I'm having a girl!" "That's good!" " Guess what we're calling her?" " Fabrice." "No!" "It's a girl!" "Fabrice, what are you doing here?" " It's Barbara..." " You've got to be kidding me." "You're supposed to be resting and you come to Richard's club to party?" "It's not me, it's Barbara." "Do me a favor." "Get lost and I'll take care of Barbara." "It's a girl!" "Even when we leave early we never get to sleep before 4 am." "Why?" "We found a bunch of old videos." "With He-Man, Captain Flame... and Gandhi." "It's super funny to watch them in their diapers." "You understand..." "It's important that he rest right now." "Ok." "But if you're interested I have the videos at home." "Put on number 3." "No, 3." "That's number 7." "That's the best album." "...and watch old cartoons with her." " In the afternoon?" " No, one's she has on tape." "How's it going lovers?" "Taking in the night air?" "Coco can you be normal for 10 minutes?" "What did you say?" "Are you talking to me?" "Jean Pierre, isn't that your car?" "Forget it Jean Pierre." "We'll take care of them for you." "Run, run run!" "At least he's grateful" "Can you stay here a minute?" "I have to see Richard then I'll be back." " OK." "Don't worry about it." " Thank you very much." " Jean Pierre" " Maria!" "How are you?" "Having fun?" "I'm here for work." "Must not be easy." "I'm here to see Richard." "And this club is Richard's club." "And with Miss Muffins it seems to be going well, huh?" "Oh stop it." "I told you, that's Fabrice's girlfriend." " What would you call her?" " I don't know." "There is good news." "Things are going better than expected." "Fabrice's injury is much less serious than we thought." "We are very confident." "Training is going very well." "Team moral is solid." "There's nothing more to worry about." "And I'm going to have a girl." "We're going to call her Amandine." "I wanted to call her Esther but the wife didn't like it." "Jean Pierre I have no desire to get angry because it's useless." "So in summary..." "If we lose in Paris..." "you hurt." "At least it's clear." "That goes for you too Coco." "You're the one who introduced me to Jean Pierre." "So the same goes for you." "You better hope we win." "I know you're a joker but even so, you can't go around smelling butts." "Now where are you going to "work"?" "In an after-party?" " That's a friend." " I'm a friend." "That's fine today is Friday." "We're all friends" "But the game is on a Wednesday." "In four days." "Didier, let's go." "We're going." "Sorry but I have to work tomorrow." "Goodbye Didier!" "Get your head back inside." "Hey!" "We don't put our head out the window." "Who is it?" "Go ahead and speak up." "He can't understand a thing." "Where is he from?" "He's from..." "Lithuania." "He's staying with me right now." " Staying with you?" " Yeah, why?" "Nothing, that's something new." "You usually don't help people." "It's for my sister..." "She's in a "save the world" phase and she asked me to help." " Why doesn't he stay with her?" " Well, Why doesn't he stay with her?" "!" "Because she already has 2 Pekinese..." "2 Chinese children staying with her." "So she's overwhelmed and I'm the one who has to help." " I think it's good." " Yeah." "If we weren't able to have kids I think Mijo and I would have adopted." "This is all wrong." "We need to find a solution soon." "For?" "Sometimes you scare me." "Why?" "What are we going to do with that?" "It's also complicated because... the transfer season is over and we'll have to ask for an exception." "We're not replacing him anyways." "If that jerk Fabrice had only stayed in bed for 2 days... but no." "He had to go out dancing." "Can you imagine the stupidity?" "Well..." "Let's go." "And what about the dog?" "Isn't he here?" "Oh yeah." "He's in the bedroom." "He's sleeping under the bed." "Goodbye" "That guy's a little weird, no?" "It's not the same culture." "Sure." "He doesn't seem like a bad guy." "Yeah, except when he bites." " Ciao" " Ciao" "NO!" "Go to your basket." "I'm sick of you always smelling my butt." "Stop that." "Close your mouth." "You don't see me walking around with my tongue hanging out." "Tongues stay in." "What's wrong with you?" "Didier!" "Didier, leave the dog alone." "Get off him!" " It's a she!" " Sure." "Didier, leave her alone." "He won't stop." "What's wrong with your friend?" " He's playful." " He's mostly stupid." "I'm exhausted." "He exhausts me." "Do you want the whole neighborhood mad at you?" "Give them their ball back!" "This can't be true." "You're intolerable." "What am I going to do with you?" "Holy cow." "Didier, Didier!" "Heel, heel!" "Didier that was good." "Very good." "You're going to save my life." "You have no idea." "Good dog." "He lovers, nice day?" "There sure are a whole bunch of jerks around here." "Come on, let's go shopping." " He sir!" "Come back!" " Did you see how good he was?" " What did you say?" " Turn your iPod off." "How do they feel?" "We can do better." " Do you feel this on your toes?" " Yes." "Jean-Pierre don't you know I have better things to do?" "Where's this Armenian you were talking about?" "Lithuanian." "I just want you to take a look..." "Tell me if we have something to work with." "He's a little...but he has enormous potential." "OK. 5 minutes." "Come on buddy." "Just remember what I said." "Didier, do you remember what I said?" "Didier, heel!" "Come here." "You're a pain." "Yes, you're a pain." "Remember the basics." "Soccer is a team sport." "The goal is the victory of the team." "If you want to play alone, go play golf." "Let's practice passing." "I'll pass you the ball." "Are you listening?" "I'll pass you the ball and you pass it back." "We'll pass the ball." "You remember?" "I pass you pass..." "Pass me the ball Didier." "Didier pass me the ball!" "Hi Kamel." "Didier stop!" "Oh my god." "Wait for me." "I have something to tell you." "Look" "I bought a new CD." "I want my daughter to listen to it in the amniotic sack." "Why haven't they invented a CD case that's easy to open?" "They could at least have a little tab." "Do you want to talk about CD packaging or watch soccer?" "Do you want to go to HMV during practice?" "You never focus on what you're doing." "You're always talking about something else." "Fine, it's cool." "I can do two things at once." "He runs fast, eh?" "He's a little cocky though." "Yes, but effective" "A little inexperienced, but effective." "You can't touch it with your hands!" "Lithuanian soccer is a little "freestyle" huh?" "Come here." "Don't move, don't move." "What was that?" "!" "I could leave you in the parking lot, huh?" "It's not complicate, heck." "Give me the ball." "Pass" "With your foot, not your hands!" "Your foot!" "This is your foot!" "Pass, again, pass." "There you go." "Go get it!" "So?" "Yes, he has something." "Wow, you're pretty full of yourself talking to him like that." "Why?" "You talk to him like he's a dog!" "If it was me I would've punched you in the face." "Even a dog gets treated better." "It is a dog." "So there." "You're gross!" "Is that what foreigners are to you?" "Not even the Polish speak to people like that." "He knows we're talking about him." "Tell him to come here." "He can't kneel there forever." "Didier!" "Come here!" "Come here." "There." "OK, OK, that's enough." "Calm down." " I told you after the show." " I know but..." "I'm listening." "I have a proposition that might be of interest to you...to us." "I'll let you test drive a player for one year." " Who?" " A new guy." "His name is Didjei Asdravisus." "He's very good." "Don't know him." "Where did he play?" "He's from Lithuania." "A friend coaches at this..." "My grand-daughter is up next." "Spring has arrived in the Chouchougnon forest." "Everyone is very happy." "The bees, the daisies, the mushrooms... and caterpillars and butterflies." "She was amazing." "Bring your player to my house tomorrow." "Set up a time with Claudie." "Next to Los Angeles, everything seems tiny." "Don't you think so?" "It's right here." "Pull over." "Don't take 3 hours!" "The jet lag is killing me." "I'm just picking up my dog." "I'll be back in 5 minutes." "A..." "We've seen it before." "A giraffe." "An owl" "A trumpet..." "Bless you." "Wait here." "Be good." "What day is it?" "I thought you were in Los Angeles." "It's a long story." "I brought gifts." "The marketing on this film was amazing..." "Where's Didier?" "Didier" "Weren't you in Los Angeles?" "At first I had a half-hour appointment with Kevin Deer, but then the assistant..." "Are you okay?" "Who's the nutzo?" "My aunt...has problems with her kid." "He's staying here while she finds an institution." "He's not mean, just a little..." "Oh no!" "I told you he's harmless." "Harmless, you're kidding." "Don't provoke me." "I'm sorry." "I should've warned you but didn't have time." " Do you want a drink?" " No, I'm good." "That guy is nuts." "I'm going to take Didier home." "Where is he?" "Well no...because Didier..." "he's not here." "Because Coco, my aunt's kid is here." "So I took Didier to a friend's house." "Who?" "A friend who lives in the country." "You don't know him..." "Hervé." "He's very nice." " When can I get him back?" " Whenever you want." "I'll call you or you call me." "But take your time." "I've become very fond of him." "So you two should live in the countryside together." "OK, I'm off." "I have a taxi waiting." "I'll call you tomorrow for Didier." "Yes, OK." "You really know how to make my day." "I know you're sad, but how can you expect her to recognize you?" "Didier, you're not a dog anymore." "You know that." "You don't walk on all fours or lick your privates anymore." "Yes, I know...but..." "OK, for Annabelle, I'll just tell her you're dead." "You got run over, or something like that." "No, if you die she'll kill me." "I'll say I saved you." "You're a soccer player now." "A great soccer player." "And that's what we're going to tell Richard tomorrow morning." "So you have to be good." "Very good, huh?" "Because Richard is a very very mean." "This isn't going to be easy." "Catch it, catch it." "Basically, that's my proposition." "And why would he play for me for a year?" "He owes me a favor." "It's private." "He agreed." "And because he loves to play." "He loves it." "For him, money isn't important." "Nobody thinks money isn't important." "He does." "But where is he from?" "I've never heard of him." "What's his name?" "Az..." "Aza..." "Asanavisus." "It's Lithuanian." "Oh, Lithuanian." "That's all we needed." "At least he's white." "That's not bad." "Richard" "I guarantee you he's not a loser." "He's a rare find." "He's instinctive, inventive... and he could destabilize the other team." "I've seen him in training and it's true that he's different... but surprising." "And he also knows how to get inside your head." "You said the same thing about Baco." "No no no..." "They aren't in the same league." "Didier is an exceptional player" "He's talented..." "He has eyes in the back of his head." "At the end of the season I'm sure you'll want to keep him." "Because the other teams' negotiations will be violent." "Richard, there's no work to do." "I'm not saying he's a soccer genius and there's nothing to work on." "But this guy, he really understands the game." "Are you OK?" "It's true, there are a ton of bugs here." "Come on, Richard." "You're not gong to listen to this crap long, are you?" "Nadia!" "You left Camille alone in the pool!" "I turned my head for 2 seconds!" "And you guys!" "The 2 of you didn't even move!" "It's over." "Daddy's here." "Thank you." " He comes to practice tomorrow." " OK" "Is it just me, or does it smell like wet dog?" "You catch the ball and pass it to Merenguez." "Head passes." "This is a gift." "He can't stop acting silly." "Jean-Pierre this is the best work you've done." "Good job." "He's active, generous, not selfish." "Yes, hes different." "Just don't get too involved with his training." "It might annoy Kamel, it's his job." "Give me some tips and I'll pass on the message." "I know Didier well" "If we want to use him we'll have to hurry to get his league papers." "Why don't we have a quiet dinner together tonight?" "Don't watch this drivel." "You stay here and guard the house, OK?" "I'll be back around midnight" "Its 9 pm now, which means..." "3 x 7... 21 hours for you to wait." "I left you a can of food on the table." "Good dog." "It's me!" "Anyone home?" "This is mine and it's NOT a rag." "That's mine." "Excuse me." "Good evening." "Didier, that's right?" "We danced together at "Chemise"." "Maria." "Jean-Pierre isn't here?" "If you see him can you tell him I cam to get my things?" "We don't smell butts." "Oh, you were eating." "Did Jean-Pierre cook that for you?" "What is it?" "Can I try?" "What is that?" "You must NOT eat that." "You can NOT eat that!" "Even re-heated it's infectious." "Do you speak French?" " The house wine?" "As usual?" " Yes please." "It's nice here, don't you think?" "It doesn't seem like much but trust me it's very nice." "And very good." "I used to come here often with Jean-Pierre." "Jean-Pierre likes meat." "I prefer fish." "Actually, I'm a Pisces." "Chicken sauteed with prawns..." "Where are you from exactly?" "Weshh, where is that?" "Ahh Wales?" "Well, welcome." "Would you like to taste the wine, sir?" "Let me see." "It's a little dry, but it's good." "A toast?" "How do you toast in Whales?" "What do you say in English?" "Cheers?" "It's good, isn't it?" "I'm going to the ladies room." "He has no papers whatsoever?" "After Lithuania, he landed in ex-Yugoslavia." "He lost everything there." "It was horrible." "I don't have all the details but it was..." "It's terrible what has happened in ex-Yugoslavia" "Nothing has changed." "Who can help us with the paperwork?" "It's much more complicated than a naturalization." "We will have to see." "We will fix it." "A toast to Didier and to Fabrice getting well." " And to Wednesday's game." " Yes, yes." "To Jean-Pierre, Coco and Charlie." "Can I call you Charlie?" "It happens to be my name!" "Can I call you Richard?" "As long as you're not whispering it softly into my ear, it's fine." "Richard, I've always wanted to tell you how much I love your suits." "Jean-Pierre, didn't I tell you that?" "I love his suits." "It's true." "I think they're classy." " And psychologically, Didier is..." " Normal." "It's hot." "Does Jean-Pierre take you out?" "Take you to see things?" "If you feel like going out this weekend there are some great flea markets." "Don't look at the mess." "I have to clean up." "I used to have a roommate..." "Oh!" "An Irish girl, actually." "Oh but she was always depressed." "Once wanted to stick her head in the oven." "But we don't have an oven... so she decided to swallow a glass of bleach." "I got sick of it and threw her out." "Thank you." "Have a seat." "I'll be right back." "Come here kitty." "Hello you." "Her name's Bianca because before I had a cat named Bernard." "You know, Bernard and Bianca, from the Disney movie." "But he died." "On my birthday, what a gift." "Later." "Sit, sit, sit" "What should we drink?" "White wine?" "In France there's a saying:" ""White after red, you're body's dead..." "Red after white, everything's right."" "It's a lovely red from a château in the Loire Valley." "I have no idea." "So now, I live here." "Well, sometimes here..." "sometimes at Jean-Pierre's." "Wow, you're lucky." "Usually she's pretty wild." "How do you say "cat" in Welsh?" "Cray, like crepe?" "How guttural" "Bless you." "Are you okay?" "Is it the cat?" "Are you allergic to cats?" "Lie down, breathe." "Don't move, I have something for that." "Where did I put it?" "Don't worry, it's just an allergy." "This happened to a friend once." "He swelled up like a balloon." "How horrible." "And after taking this, he was fine." "Better?" "Are you cold?" "You're nose is freezing." "What is Jean-Pierre doing?" "Hey guys." "What do you call 2 holes in 1 hole?" "Your nose up my butt!" "It's me Didier." "Good night." "This is starting to annoy me." "I just saw your note." "What's wrong with you?" "Coming into my house and taking Didier like that." "I couldn't sleep, I was worried." "Then I find him this morning, sleeping on my doorstep." "How irresponsible." "Something could've happened to him." "He's a little simple, or didn't you notice?" "Or maybe you didn't let him get a word in?" " Simple?" " Yes, simple." "Yes, of course." "For you, as soon as someone's nice, they must be simple." "It was nice to meet someone nice for a change." "Instead of someone selfish." "What do you know?" "He can't even go buy a croissant without getting into trouble." " He's worse than a kid!" " Worse than a kid?" "You've just said it all." "And where were YOU all night?" "If you were worried all night, you could have called." "I was here." "Crap." "Be polite." "I'm sick and tired of dogs and cats." "I'd like to move on." "Your kitty just dropped all my records on the floor." "What are you talking about?" "Your kitty followed Didier home." "Jean-Pierre, it's a CAT!" "OK?" "And I advise you to be nice to her!" "Then come and get her as soon as possible." "I'd like that." "This isn't the SPCA." "I'll be right there." "What an idiot!" "When he wants to be stupid, he's really stupid." "Your friends with a cat now, huh?" "You're forgetting your roots." "I guess you've forgotten." "Did you sleep together?" "If you did, just say so." "I don't care." "I hope you used protection." "Yuck!" "Just thinking about it disgusts me." "You can't even speak, how practical." "It might be a difficult concept for you..." "But I'm a little hurt that my girlfriend was stolen by my dog!" "Plus, you're not even MY dog." "Let's get dressed." "This is useless." "Wait, you need to clip your nails." "It's amazing how fast your claws grow." "Didier, the combination with Merenguez is working well." "If there's a free kick..." "Gomez, the first post..." "Curlèsse second post." "Baloud, you take Doberman." "Everyone moves...you all run to the goal." "Ok so I overacted a little... but I was worried." "What are you doing on Wednesday?" "I'll be in Paris meeting with a client." "I'll be in Paris too!" "We're playing at le Parc." "Do you want me to reserve you a ticket?" "It's in the evening." "Yes." "Then afterward you can take me to a funny movie." "Or a war film." "Is Didier playing on Wednesday?" "Well, yes." "Do you have to run around everywhere, jumping on people, stepping on toes?" "Now he's in the pond." " Do you have the time please?" " Yes." "Oh Annabelle, it's so nice of you to stop by." "Please come in." "I can't stay long." "I just came to pick up Didier." " You don't want a drink?" " No thanks." "You did remember that I was coming to pick up Didier?" "Yes Didier, D-I-D-I-E-R." "My dog, who I left here and would very much like back now." "Let's go get him now." "He's in the countryside at a friend's I don't' know, right?" " Well yes, but..." " Do you think I'm stupid?" "I know you too well." "Where is my dog?" "!" " Don't scream." " I'll scream if I want to." "I deserve some respect, you know." "Respect starts with the truth." "So tell me, WHERE IS MY DOG?" "OK, OK." "You want the truth?" "Yes." "That's the truth." "That is Didier." "Didier isn't a dog anymore." "One morning I got up and that guy was in Didier's basket." "Your dog became him." "How?" "I have no idea." "But that's the truth." "I was sure of it." "Excuse me?" "I saw it in his eyes last time." "I felt it, I knew it." "Didier?" "Yes, my Didier, I recognize you." "I'm so sorry for kicking you." "He's so cute!" "Isn't he?" "I'm glad you think so." "When I was in Brazil, I saw some really weird things..." "You wouldn't believe me if I told you." "I don't know." "I've made some progress with weird." "It's amazing, he sometimes has canine eyes." "sure do not want a drink?" "I need it" "He always had cowboy breath." "Yes well I tried to brush his teeth." "You'll see, it will be tons of fun." "We'll take him to Madame Massart." "She has to see him." "Is she a dentist?" "Not really." "Madame Massart / Podiatrist" " Hypnotist By appointment / 3rd floor right." "Then left." "Your eyelids are heavy." "Very heavy." "Sleep." "But you still hear everything I say." "Is it a surprise?" "There is a very powerful electrical current around him." "An electrical dog?" "I'm sorry Annabelle, but I can not work under these conditions!" "I feel negative waves in the whole room!" "Please sir, be nice and leave." "Yes you." "Go be show off OUTSIDE!" "GET OUT!" "What karma." "No we are going to go back into your past..." "Let's go...back... weeks, months." "How do you feel?" "He's a dog." "It's about time you figured that out." "Go back further, Didier." "What do you see?" "Tell us where you are." " Didier?" " What's happening?" "I am Eurodepis, wife of the Pharaoh of Egypt." "I think we went a little too far back, no?" "He's a very receptive, interesting subject." "That will be 800 francs ($200 Cdn)" "Can he come back tomorrow?" "No, no!" "He plays tomorrow." "Don't start." "WEDNESDAY" "Look, 57 grams, digital, liquid crystal display." "Yeah, but the image sucks." "You just need to orient it." " It it OK?" " Yes, yes, no problem." "Lift your leg." "Remember, you catch the ball and pass it to Merenguez." "Merenguez." "I'll be back." "Didier Asanasius is Lithuanian, 30 years old." "A little older than the team average, which is 24 years old." "I see Merenguez is on the bench?" "Can't you play him?" "No, we only need 1 point." "I'm not playing aggressively." "We're on defense." "Why play deference when with Didier and Merenguez doing amazing things out there?" "Forget it Jean-Pierre." "I don't butt into your business, so leave mine alone." "Jean-Philippe will try to get to know more about this guy, Didier... by going to ask him a few personal questions." "Oh no, that's not got at all." "Jean-Philippe, are you there?" "Robert?" "Hello George." "I'm here with Didier Asanavisus." "So, Didier, this is your first big game." "How will you deal with the PSG super-team, with players like N'Goté and Doberman?" "Didier, is there a lot of pressure?" "Is it hard to handle?" "Excuse me..." "Sorry Jean-Philippe, but Didier's parents are on the phone..." "It's an emergency." "But don't worry, it's good news." "His mom is going to be a mother." "Or just became a mother..." "I don't have the details." "Any reaction?" "Well it seems we won't get any information about Didier Asavinius." "Right, just that his mom is going to be a mother." "And poof, now he's a soccer player." "Amazing story." "No, not really." "When Didier was still a dog... he loved to play ball." "So it's not so surprising." "For me, my niece is a super-talented artist..." "But they put her in a school with a focus on math." "Isn't that dumb?" "Yes, that's very dumb." "And for your pleasure tonight, the best striker in the league:" "Yann Doberman!" "Help me welcome him and the rest of the team!" "Listen, I used you without asking what you thought." "I'm sorry." "I was only thinking of myself." "I don't want you to do anything you don't like." "We can stop everything, if you want." "Tell me..." "What do you want?" "Play." "How was the car ride?" "No traffic jams?" "Flowers..." "Did you get my flowers?" "Yes, they're very pretty." "Thanks." "You came, so you can't be too mad at me." "I came to support Didier." "We are on our way..." "to crash the game..." "We are on our way..." "To make trouble at the game!" "To make trouble, to make trouble at the game!" "We have tickets, we have tickets." "Watch out!" "This is going to be your lucky day!" "Hey guys, look!" "It's John and Yoko" "Coin toss goes to FCB." "Good dog, good dog." "That's very good." "The team captains are shaking hands." "Let's hope that these two teams play a fair game..." "Hopefully it's cleaner than what we've had the misfortune of seeing in the past." "Dioto takes the kick-off and passes it to Curlèsse." "Yes, Curlèsse, the great Curlèsse..." "who returns the ball to Dioto." "And the ball is taken away by Gurlecki...." "Now it's being stolen from him" "Open your eyes!" "Open your eyes!" "And Paris has the ball..." "From Gurleck to Doberman." "Watch out!" "Close in!" "Close in!" "Good job, Didier!" "He steals the ball... and he's taken off on is own!" "He has good control of the ball..." "He's looking for a teammate..." "He passes..." "Dummy!" "What's he doing?" "He had the whole field!" "If you tell him to get the ball and pass it to Merenguez... then he'll pass it to Merenguez!" "Paris has the ball..." "Oh no, that's dangerous!" "That had to hurt." "It reminds you of something, doesn't it Jean?" "Yes, it wasn't exactly the same, but definitely close." "Piece of crap TV...." "I didn't see anything." "Look, the goalkeeper is out cold!" "Oh yeah, he's out." "TO THE HOSPITAL!" "HE'S GOING TO THE HOSPITAL!" "(Crowd Singing))" "That's can't be fun." "What are the goal posts made of?" "They're kevlar." "And the coach is sending in a replacement, it's Perrier." "Oh, a new offensive plan from PSG...to Doberman..." "He's going to run into Didier along the way." "What a good dodge, huh Robert?" "A perfect technical move... or a "juke", as it's called in our soccerist jargon." "Nice recovery, a little unorthodox, but effective." " He pushed him!" " He did not push him!" "Oh no, he's on the ground." "Oh no, he tricked Didier!" "Parisians take the ball back and charge up the middle." "This can't be happening!" "Come on!" "He's a super player, that Romanian you brought us." "Coco, one day I'm going to rip off your head and use your ponytail... to give you a tail." "It will be an improvement." "No one's on Doberman!" "He's all alone out there!" "And it's a beautiful goal by Doberman for Paris Saint Germain!" "Hey Perrier, come up here!" "Maybe you'll see better!" "Oh, it looks like thinks are heating up between the players." "Oh no, this doesn't look good." "They're going to kick him out." "Red card...expulsion." "What were you thinking?" "!" "The referee was paid off!" "Of course he's paid..." "Do you think he works for free?" "With no goalkeepers left on the bench, who will Kamel choose?" "Another random player." "That's one way, it's definitely difficult to choose someone." "Who will get the short straw?" "You know what I mean, Robert." "Oh, Kamel chose his new goalkeeper." "It's Didier Asavinius who was appointed..." "Yes, so it seems." "But let me remind you of the exact pronunciation of his name..." "Kanavanistuc" "What ethnicity is that?" "It's a Labrador." "You guard the cage." "Guard the cage." "The cage is your house." "The ball can't get in your house." "You catch the ball and throw it away...." "Far, far, far, far away." "OK?" "Presenting #5, in the position of goalkeeper..." "Didier Asavinius!" "It's 1-0 for Paris." "They really want to score a second, huh Jean?" "Yes, the Parisians are playing very, very well, Robert." "FCB is making its way to the net..." "And what an amazing technical move!" "Not a very nice looking save...huh Jean?" "Hands, butt, head..." "they're all allowed." "A technical move realized with a lot of technique." "Didier!" "Your hands." "You can use your hands." "Please sir, you can't stay here." "A magnificent goal to tie the score from Merenguez!" "The first goal for FCB... is scored by #12, David Merenguez." "It's been an exciting first period." "Yes, and both sides are playing strong." "Free kick for Paris!" "When are they going to put in a big screen here?" "Bravo Didier!" "Good dog!" "That's my good dog!" "A very beautiful kick..." "Oh oh, watch out..." "No, throw the ball away!" "Didier can't go in the goal with the ball." "There you go...a goal." "And yes, a goal for Paris." "He needs to brush up on the rules." "But after making such a wonderful save... how is is possible to make such a stupid mistake?" "Well that's the glorious incertitude of sports, Robert." "At the end of the first period... the score is PSG 2" " FCB 1" "You've sold me lemons before Jean-Pierre, but never this bad." "I didn't sell him, Richard." "You gave him to me, for a season." "I don't need the season." "You can take your donkey back." "He's not a donkey, he's human." "Stop talking to people like that." "I hate it." "You're really not cut out for this job." "It's time you found something else." "In any case, it would be better if we never crossed paths again." "Did you get that?" "Coco, you get 45 minutes credit...one half time." "Mental state can be very fragile..." "It's important to stay motivated and focused until the end..." "But that's the most difficult part, Robert." "But it's all his fault!" "Why, you've never made a mistake before?" "It never happens to you?" "!" "So, let's start over." "We don't have a choice." "Offense." "Now we are on the attack!" "Gomez, pass up to Balul..." "Balul you push forward." "Curlèsse will support you." "OK?" "Forget what I told you before." "Now we attack!" "OK?" "Let's go." "Let's win." "Yes or no?" "!" "Yeah ok." "Didier, come here." "OK, go sit down." "Now in the second half... but Didier isn't worried." "Maybe he should throw the ball instead of goofing off." "I think he heard you." "Hey!" "You want to take a photo while you're at it?" "Why his he going back to his own goal?" "I have no idea." "Didier that way!" "That way!" "A tie-making goal by Didier Asavinius from FCB." "The score is now 2-2." "It's incredible!" "Didier Didier Didier" "It tells time." "Even though you only came for Didier..." "I'm really happy you're here." "Listen Jean-Pierre, frankly I don't care about soccer." "You know I don't care." "But..." "I've been thinking a lot lately... and I realized... that I care a lot more about you than what I've shown you." "That I showed it badly." "Continue." "For once, you're talking without asking a favor." "I want to live with you and build a life together." "And so..." "I'm asking you... officially... to reconsider my case." "OK." "But that's Didier!" "Come, this is incredible." "There's a dog on the grass." "That's my Didier." "It's in!" "Its amazing!" "A...uh..a dog scored the tie-breaking goal!" "Its now 3-2 for FCB!" "Will they accept it or not?" "With everything happening on the field... a dog head-butting a goal with his head could be accepted." "Maybe if he had scored with his paw it wouldn't be." "I thought FCB would lose, but this is 10 times worse!" "Oh look, now the image is really clear!" "Look!" "Yeah, but the sound sucks." "Well yeah, you just have to orient it." "What a cute tail!" "We are asking everyone to please evacuate the field." "The game isn't over." "Please allow the players on the field..." "Good game." "Bravo Didier." "Please don't drive too fast because he gets car sick." "Are you doing OK, Didier?" "It's so weird to see you like this." "Can you understand me?" "We've been so busy these past few days... we haven't had time to talk much." "I didn't get to thank you." "Thank you." "Jean-Pierre, I'm sure you understand clearly..." "But what's the deal with that dog?" "I have no idea what I'm doing here." "You asked me to follow you." "I followed you." "We left in the middle of the game." "Ok, fine." "I don't care." "I don't even like soccer." "But it would be nice if you could explain a few things." "But there's nothing to explain." "What's wrong?" "Do I have something on my nose?"