"# Come on home" "# Comin' home, baby, now" "# You know I'm waitin' here for you" "# I'm comin' home now, real soon" "# You've been gone" "# Comin' home, baby, now" "# You don't know what I'm goin' through" "# I'm comin' home I know I'm overdue" "# Since you went away # Expect me any day now" "# Real soon" "# I'm comin' home and never more to roam" "# Baby, tell me you're # Baby, I'm for sure" "# Coming home" "# I'm comin' home # Come on home. #" "Why do you belong on the board of International Women of Medicine?" "Well, I did hear that the last delegation to New York got to go backstage at the Beyonce concert, and I love Beyonce, so... (CHUCKLES)" "Jokes aside, I think that the IWM is such a powerful organisation, connecting women from all over the world to share and study and practise, and, just to be clear, I'm not even that keen on Beyonce" "because I think she posts too many photos to Instagram of her and Jay Z on their yacht..." "Our organisation aims to lift the lives of women globally in all areas of medicine, naturally, but also through education." "Which is what I admire." "How do you lift the lives of women?" "Oh, me?" "I..." "Well, I..." "Not so much globally at the moment." "Then what's the impact of your local charity work on others?" "Well, I do a lot of pro bono work and, um, obviously work here at the public hospital." "Both of which are heavily subsidised by your private practice." "We're trying to understand how you are socially inclusive." "Of course." "Can you share which IWM-supported charities you're involved with?" "Oh, um, which ones are those?" "Let Girls Learn, Do it in a Dress, The Smith Family, Women of..." "Ah!" "Yes, well, right now, I'm mainly involved in Bikes 4 Babies." "Oh, that's not an IWM-recognised..." "No, it isn't, no, but it is to support our neonatal intensive care unit." "Which, obviously, is a charity right here." "And right here." "So you're doing a bike ride?" "Yes, I am." "Yep." "With my family." "My husband and kids, they..." "I think that's everything." "Yeah, OK." "What do you mean you didn't get it?" "She hated me!" "Who?" "Clara Rubenstein." "Never heard of her." "She's a big deal, Mum." "She's friends with Michelle Obama." "That woman's arms are overrated!" "She didn't think that I was socially inclusive enough." "Maybe I'm not." "You're lovely at a party - you're the first to offer a drink and you bring those yummy prawn balls." "Not that kind of social inclusion!" "Put the sugar down, Mum!" "I'm upset." "I told Pat from View Club you being on the IWM board was a foregone conclusion." "Well, you shouldn't have!" "Anyway, that's not why I asked you here." "I wanted to talk about Mother's Day." "So did I!" "I thought this year, we could skip the high tea." "It's Julie's turn." "Julie doesn't get a turn." "I get all the turns." "Julie just wants to celebrate one Mother's Day with me, Mum." "Mother's Day is a reward for all the hours you have put in." "Julie hasn't put any hours in." "Why does she get a reward?" "She gets a reward for giving you the opportunity to be a mother at all." "You can come too." "But we're going to Julie's." "Have some sugar." "(LAUGHS)" "You should probably go before Shawn gets up." "(SHAWN CLEARS HIS THROAT)" "Don't sneak up on us." "Yeah, that's what happened." "OK, I should go." "When can we catch up on the weekend?" "I've got to repaint the girls' toilet block on Saturday and... (GROANS)" "..beg for the school on Sunday at the Mitre 10 sausage sizzle." "I could come and help...beg." "Really?" "(SCOFFS) Really?" "I love volunteering." "Need a lift to school, Shawn?" "Yeah, that'd be weird." "Bye." "Bye." "So, it's going well, then?" "What is?" "You going out with my school principal." "Or are we still pretending it's not happening?" "Does it look like I'm pretending?" "You haven't told Nan and Pop." "I just want to get to know Evan on my own, before Dad orders him a World's Best Son-in-Law stubby holder and Brianna gets his family sticker made up for the car." "But you're gonna have to tell them..." "No." "..why you're doing a sausage sizzle..." "Nuh." "..on Mother's Day." "God!" "What do you mean you can't come?" "Bess is telling Margaret it's my turn and I want all my children together!" "What is so important?" "We've hardly even seen you lately." "Howdy, stranger!" "See?" "Dad's really upset with you." "No, I'm not." "Am I?" "She's not coming to Mother's Day." "What happened?" "Do you know we're having a spit?" "It's not for jumping, Younis!" "Why can't it be multipurpose?" "What could be more important than this?" "I promised I would help out at the Mitre 10 sausage sizzle for Shawn's school." "You know, to raise money." "Because they're under-resourced and they rely on the parents to help." "Amber, what's really going on?" "Is it so unbelievable I'd be volunteering on a sausage sizzle?" "ALL:" "Yeah." "(SIGHS) She's dating someone." "Shawn!" "They were gonna find out." "You're dating someone?" "From Mitre 10?" "Is it Mickey?" "From Outdoor Living?" "He's awesome!" "Isn't he, Dad?" "Is it Mickey?" "Is it?" "Because I would be very proud to give Mickey a son-in-law stubby holder." "Which one is he?" "Has he been in one of their ads?" "Does he work out?" "He's the tall guy with the blond hair." "Would you call it blond, Kayne?" "Yeah, I would." "A natural blond." "Imagine their kids." "Mum, we need to ask him over so I can see his hair." "When's he free, Amber?" "I don't know who fucking Mickey is!" "Then who are you dating?" "I'm not gonna tell you anything, unless you all promise not to do this." "It's very early days and I just want to get to know him on my own, without you calling him your son-in-law." "You have to let me introduce you when I am ready, OK?" "His name's Evan." "From Lighting and Electrical!" "With the tatts!" "He's incredible!" "That's it!" "(ALL PROTEST)" "Hey, ganggajang!" "What's that?" "You want to hear the dopest plan ever?" "OK." "We - you and you and me - are gonna hit all the cafes featured in Hot Urban Eats." "No, don't eat." "Oscar." "Oscar." "Don't eat!" "Don't eat!" "We're going to go out." "I don't want to." "Yes, you do." "See, we're going to do this every week!" "We're going to work our way through all the smashed avos on both sides of the river, because I love this side of town but sometimes I get FOMO about the buzz on the other side of town." "I have too much homework." "OK, OK, we'll go somewhere local." "Where do you want to go?" "To my room." "No, that's too local." "Come on!" "Let's..." "OK." "Hey?" "You guys never want to do anything with me anymore!" "You don't want to play frisbee, you don't want to do Dubsmash, you don't answer any of my snaps on Snapchat!" "Of course, of course!" "That sounds incredible!" "Yes, yes!" "I'll definitely be there." "Yeah." "No, I completely understand." "It'll be the only chance that the rest of the IWM board will have to meet the shortlisted candidates." "I realise it's an imposition since you have your Bikes 4 Babies ride." "My what?" "For the neonatal intensive care..." "Oh, yes." "No, of course." "I can sort that." "Yes, OK, OK." "Bye-bye!" "Guess who's been shortlisted for the IWM board." "Katy Perry." "Not a doctor." "You." "Yes!" "Oh, so proud!" "They've invited me to the IWM Mother's Day luncheon." "(GASPS) Do you know what this means?" "No." "I have a chance not to be an idiot." "Oh, baby, shoot for the stars." "Actually, what is the Bikes 4 Babies thing?" "Oh, I panicked in the interview and I said that you, the kids and I would do a charity bike ride for the hospital on Sunday." "Actually?" "Yes, I'm so sorry..." "No, no, no, is it actually a thing - Bikes 4 Babies?" "Yes." "Got 'em." "Got...who?" "Me and Oscar and Eddie are going on a bike ride this weekend." "It's for sick babies so they can't say no." "(GRUNTS) You're my International Woman of Medicine." "Oh, hang on." "Mother's Day." "Lunch." "I thought you were doing Mother's Day with Julie." "Oh..." "Uh..." "BESS:" "Are you sure it's OK to be here?" "Is the rest of the family alright?" "Of course!" "This is amazing!" "Amber's with Evan anyway and I want you to get backstage at Beyonce." "Shh!" "(GIGGLES) We're not focusing on that." "Plus I get to be your mother on Mother's Day." "(COUGHS)" "With Margaret." "Why do both our nametags say "Mother of Dr Bess Denyar"?" "Because you are both my mothers." "I don't see why you have to announce it in print." "Is there a press release to follow?" "Mum, please don't start an argument." "You want me to be on the board of the IWM, don't you?" "Just don't embark on our whole life story." "No-one needs to know the ins and outs." "I promise I won't reveal any of the sordid details of our grubby little lives." "(CACKLES)" "Why don't you check out the silent auction and I will get us some drinks." "Are you gonna be OK?" "I feel a bit bad leaving you on your own." "I'm fine." "I think, Amber, you OK to stay for a little while?" "Yeah, I can manage the next shift." "Thank you, Sonia." "Thank you, Graeme." "Thanks, guys." "See ya." "See ya." "I could not hold out any longer." "Slowest two hours of my life." "Is that Amber?" "That's right - you said you'd be here today!" "She did too!" "At the sausage sizzle, yes." "Hey, Shawn." "Hi, Mr Janko." "Oh, you know each other, do you, Shawn?" "You are pathetic." "No!" "We just popped down to pick up a few supplies and we forgot you'd be here with..." "Who was it again, Shawnie?" "Mr..." "Janko?" "Who we don't even know is the high school principal!" "No." "Oh, my God." "Evan, this is my dad, Wayne, my sister Brianna, her fiance Younis and my half-brother, Kayne." "I'm not her half-brother!" "(QUIETLY) Am I?" "So, Evan, how do you..." "Nope!" "That's it." "Go and buy your supplies." "Amber, they are actual supplies." "We need to grab a few things for the spit we're having tonight." "So, Evan, if you're free, you could..." "Dad!" "Go!" "OK." "We're going." "Let's go." "How great is this?" "I know you guys weren't keen but this is da bomb!" "Bikes 4 Babies?" "More like Bikes for Cool Dads and Kids - am I right, guys?" "Hey!" "Excuse me!" "Oh, Dr Rubenstein, hello." "Dr Denyar." "Which table are you at?" "Uh, I think I'm on table four." "Which charity?" "Every table is assigned to an IWM-supported charity to which the funds are going today." "Yes, of course." "I know." "And my charity is...is..." "Clara!" "I'll bring Dr Wang, the chair of the board, over to meet you." "Oh!" "Thank you so much." "Listen, I've got an interesting..." "The Smith Family Learning for Life." "Does your mum work for The Smith Family?" "Is she a doctor?" "Then why are you here?" "I'm part of their programs." "What do you mean?" "What's Learning for Life?" "Quickly, quickly!" "Well, this lady called Erica and this man called Mike, they help my mum pay for me to go to school." "Yep." "Yep." "That's it?" "They pay for you to go to school?" "Yeah." "Private school?" "Then what do they pay for?" "Nuh-uh-uh!" "You can have that in a minute!" "What do they pay for?" "They pay for stuff like my shoes and my bags..." "Oh, OK, got it." "..and excursions." "Yep, OK." "And I do reading, because, before, I couldn't." "OK, and now you can read." "Shh!" "Natalie Wang, Bess Denyar." "Oh, Dr Wang." "It is an honour to meet you." "And this is...?" "This is..." "Evie." "Evie." "Hi, Evie." "Evie's part of The Smith Family programs - the Learning for Life and the..." "reading one." "We're very glad to have you here, Evie." "The statistics are just extraordinary, aren't they?" "(LAUGHS) Extraordinary!" "The statistics about education and poverty." "Amazing!" "Unfortunately." "Well, not really." "No!" "No, actually, because education is..." "The only thing that breaks the poverty cycle." "Exactly." "Mum." "This is my mother, Margaret." "This is Dr Wang and Dr Rubenstein." "Hello." "I do so admire the work of the IWM." "I've got eight things on the go in the silent auction." "I don't want any of it but it's always good to jack up the prices!" "(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)" "Uh, this is my other mother, Julie." "Your other mother?" "Yep." "I have two mothers." "That's all." "No story." "Right." "Listen up, you two." "You need Bess on your board, so where does she sign?" "Go on, Marg." "Tell them." "Your champagne is getting warm." "You didn't mention your upbringing in your interview." "No, no, I didn't think that it mattered." "Well, of course not, but we're trying to ascertain your understanding of social inclusion." "Yeah." "So it's hugely significant to have lesbian parents." "I think I may have changed my vote." "How's it looking, Kayne?" "Got her." "No, that's a normal-sized sausage." "Kayne, we need intel!" "Guys!" "You shouldn't be spying on them!" "You shouldn't have your feet up on that beautiful wicker papasan!" "And how big do you think your sausage should be for 2?" "What do you want, a fucking kranski?" "Uh-oh." "She's..." "She's what?" "She's being herself." "Morning!" "You've passed, like, 100 bikes in 10 minutes." "We've passed, like, six." "It's still impressive." "Admit it!" "It's the best, right?" "It's pretty fun." "Maybe we should keep the tandem, Dad." "Maybe!" "Smell the country air, endorphins kicking in." "It's uplifting." "Ow!" "Ow!" "Stop!" "Stop the bike!" "Stop the bike!" "Stop the...!" "Ow!" "Ow, ow, ow." "Ow, ow, ow." "Ah, ah..." "What is it, Dad?" "Is it your leg?" "Is it cramping?" "Ow." "I can rub it out." "No, no, no, don't touch it!" "Don't touch it." "I've torn it!" "I've torn a calf muscle!" "I'm sorry, guys!" "Dad, it's OK." "OK, you get on the middle seat, and we'll do the cycling." "Put your leg up." "Really?" "You sure?" "I'm not you're really heavy!" "Of course we're sure." "Come on!" "Climb on!" "OK." "Hurry up!" "We're gonna lose our spot!" "Dad, come on." "OK, OK." "OK." "OK." "Ah, ah, ah..." "Oh, dear, yes." "We've got to say something." "You heard what she said." "She's gonna vote for Bess to be on the board because we're gay." "We're not!" "She thinks we're gay." "Shh!" "You're very defensive about this." "Is there something you want to tell me?" "I love this colour on you, by the way." "Stop it!" "Excuse me." "I just wanted to say congratulations on being pioneers." "It can't have been easy in your era." "My partner and I - well, she's pregnant at the moment." "Oh!" "Who is the biological mother?" "I am." "And do you mind me asking how that made you feel, not being the one who...?" "You don't have to be "the one who" to be a mother." "The truth of the matter is..." "The truth is Marg is Bess's mother." "I gave birth to Bess, but Margaret was there when I wasn't and no-one could love their child more than she does." "That's the absolute truth, isn't it?" "Well..." "Yes, I suppose it is." "You want to check out the dessert table with me, Doctor?" "You want anything, babe?" "I just can't believe someone would quibble over the price of a sausage." "I know, but maybe it's good for the school and also business if we don't swear at the customers." "If indeed we get any more customers." "Excuse me!" "Oh..." "Could we have 15 sausages, please?" "Piss off, Dad." "Amber, we're very, very hungry." "We've been up early working hard on the spit for tonight." "Oh, for shit's sake." "(YELLS) Hey!" "How much is a sausage?" "(YELLS) They're 2!" "What?" "Only 2?" "!" "Oh." "They smell so good!" "I'm getting one!" "We're creating a buzz." "Demand equals supply." "Thank you, Alan Greenspan." "Are we making up customer names?" "I don't like Alan." "Anyway, the point is we need a lot of sausages." "OK." "Yeah, retail's a funny thing." "Not everyone's cut out for it." "For instance, we realised pretty early on after an incident in the merch tent that Amber was not front-of-house material." "Dad!" "But after we popped her in the back of the truck with a general ledger and no people, she was magic." "And that might be something you want to think about, Evan." "Right, that's it." "I am perfectly capable of letting you know how difficult I am without any help from my family." "You have to tell them to leave." "You need to do that "I'm a principal of a school" thing and make them go before they wreck everything." "Stop!" "Hi there!" "Would you like a sausage?" "Oh, yes, please." "Two takeaways with onions for the Toyota!" "Two, takeaway, onion, Toyota, go." "Fantastic, OK." "Do you want bread?" "Next." "I've got bread." "(HORN BEEPS)" "I don't think I can ask them to go away." "So, it's, like, hundreds and hundreds of years later and the guys who are now the Kings of Numenor find out that... ..as an alternative energy source." "and I honestly think that because Copenhagen has 400km worth of bike lanes, and about half of the population rides to work, I mean, surely that means that their 100% renewable energy goal is totally achievable." "Kill me." "Kill me!" "Imagine if we had actual, actual wind turbine." "His spiritual body's actually returned to Mordor." "How are you going, Mum?" "As well as anyone who's pretending to be a lesbian for her daughter." "Perhaps not as well as anyone." "This wouldn't have happened if you didn't insist on us sharing Mother's Day." "I'm sorry, Mum." "So, what do you do on Father's Day?" "If you have two mums?" "Those cakes look delicious!" "Does one of you get to be the father and one of you is the mother?" "No, no." "That's not how it works." "Is that a tiny lemon tart?" "Dr Denyar?" "Coming!" "You just focus on eating those cakes, Evie." "Yum!" "She's a bit weird." "Yeah, she is a bit." "What about when she was a kid?" "She was a bit weird then, too." "No, I mean, did she have to buy two Mother's Day presents every year?" "No." "Did you share?" "No." "Then who got the present?" "Did she have to make two breakfasts in bed?" "You're a sponsor child, right?" "Why don't I sponsor you to stop talking?" "No, she didn't have to make two breakfasts in bed." "Why not?" "Because Julie...wasn't there." "Did she work shift work?" "Yes, she worked shift work." "Every Mother's Day?" "That's so unfair." "She never got a breakfast in bed." "SONG: # Why can't we put out the fire?" "#" "These sliders are a stroke of genius, Younis." "It's all Brianna, man." "She really gets the whole food truck experience because they were at Westfield for a while." "Well, I'm very grateful, Brianna." "Love it!" "Two sliders for Brian." "Come and get your Korean barbecue!" "Dad, I don't think this barbecue is actually from Korea." "I'm pretty sure it's from China." "It's the style of cooking, mate." "It's an ancient tradition." "That's why we've got the soy sauce." "Amber, we've got a tray for you." "Amber?" "Amber, can you take over these sausages?" "You know what you can do with your sausages." "Oh, come on, love!" "I knew you would do this!" "You would take him, everything, over!" "You're right." "We shouldn't have come down here." "We should've left you two alone to run the sizzle by yourselves, to argue with customers and to not make any money." "Give me the sausages." "Well, I got three phone numbers, an Ellen T-shirt and an invitation to Dykes on Bikes, which I think I'm actually going to look into." "Marg, are you alright?" "I was just thinking that when Bess was Evie's age, she'd lost all of her baby teeth but her big teeth were taking a very long time to come down and she had these big gaps and a big, gappy smile." "It was adorable." "And..." "Well, it strikes me that you missed out on seeing her like that." "Happy Mother's Day, Julie." "Happy Mother's Day, Marg." "(PHONE RINGS)" "Just excuse me." "Hey, how's it going?" "I think you're going to have to pick us up from the finish line." "OK!" "Is everything alright?" "I've hurt my leg and, uh, you know that time I wanted to spend with the kids?" "I don't want that anymore." "How's your day going?" "Well, I have lied my way through a luncheon, abused a sponsor child and Julie and Margaret are pretending to be gay." "(CHUCKLES)" "OK, well, I'll see you at the other end." "OK." "Bye." "Julie, you're actually funny!" "(CHUCKLES)" "(GROANS)" "Ta." "Are you sure you want to swap bikes with them, Dad?" "Uh-huh." "I don't understand, Dad." "You'll have to pedal with one leg now." "But if you stayed on the tandem, you could sit back and relax." "I only got up to book three of Lord Of The Rings!" "Dad!" "(GROANS)" "You can put your order in over with Brianna at the truck, mate." "I'm an officer with the Health Department." "I'm sorry, mate, I can't give preferential treatment." "You'll have to go to the truck." "Can I check your thermometers?" "What thermometers?" "In your esky." "Your meat should be kept below 5 degrees." "What therm..." "I don't think refrigeration is an exact science." "That's precisely what it is." "Mate, barbecuing comes from the heart." "And salmonella comes from meat stored above 5 degrees." "Are they burgers?" "Do you have a class-3 permit?" "Beg yours?" "Sausages are a class-4 activity." "Hamburgers are a class 3." "And I'll need your permit number." "OK." "What is it, Kayne?" "4, 5, 7...?" "8...82-339-851-12-9..." "I'm going to have to shut this down." "Are you serious?" "Come on, mate!" "Sausages, hamburgers - what's the difference?" "One's round, one's long - that's it!" "I tell you what. (CLICKS FINGERS)" "Why don't you try a nice little slider?" "Shut it down." "No!" "This is exactly the kind of petty, minor bureaucracy" "I deal with every day." "Never mind that we've created a wonderful community atmosphere, we've raised 3,000 more than we normally would, so Judy can have one extra day in the office per week." "No, let's worry about whether or not it's a sausage or a hamburger or a...class 3 or a class 4 or a pain in my dick or a pain in my balls!" "Oh!" "They just..." "He really is perfect for Amber." "Who's moved all my floor stock out here?" "Why is the 5-piece of my wicker papasan there?" "Is that my barbecue?" "No worries, Mickey." "I can explain." "We probably should shut it down now." "Amber, that's Mickey!" "From Outdoor Living!" "So lovely to meet you, Miss Evie." "You too, Miss Margaret." "(CACKLING)" "See ya, Ange." "Great to meet you, Sharon." "I'll call you." "Bye!" "Well?" "Oh, how'd it go with Clara?" "Before or after I told her you weren't my lesbian mothers?" "You told her?" "Why?" "Because I was making you lie." "And if she wants me on the board of the IWM, it should be because of who I am, not because of what my parents are." "Don't be ridiculous!" "That is so naive, Bessie." "Wait." "What?" "Clara!" "(GROANS)" "Yes!" "Dad, your time was..." "Shut up!" "Where's your mum?" "She couldn't change her mind?" "Nuh." "She couldn't believe that Marg and I were together, but... ..we could be, couldn't we?" "See, normally I don't mind picturing a bit of that action but I feel a bit funny with that image." "Sorry about the spit, love." "We just ran out of time." "No, no, it's fine." "Besides, you've got all this meat left over." "Hey, hey!" "Evan - is he as nice as he seems?" "I know it's early days, but I think we're in love." "Wayne!" "I don't know how to thank you!" "We made 4,300." "Actually, it'll be 3,700 plus 600 in goods for the school." "Yeah, we couldn't get it all cleaned up after the Korean barbecue, so Mickey made us take it." "Got a good price for it, though!" "Yeah - it was covered in soy sauce." "(ALL LAUGH)" "Good day." "It was a good day." "Good day." "Yeah." "Dad!" "No." "Just..." "The rowing team is an epic failure." "You can coach us!" "(LAUGHS)" "Knees up higher!" "Push it, push it." "Back in the boat, biatches!" "You're off the team." "You can't do this to me." "Doing it." "It's a present for you." "The boat?" "Yes, the boat." "Amber!" "(KAYNE SHRIEKS)" "You drove it like a maniac and you destroyed it." "Good." "It's a pile of shit anyway." "She'll be alright, you know." "We haven't fought like that before." "Oh, no." "I was talking about the boat." "Amber will still be mental." "He's got an ingrown hair." "How many stitches was it?" "I think maybe 18." "Four." "Let Margaret look at it." "It's where?" "Above my... ..bisex." "Captions by Ericsson Access Services" "Copyright Australian Broadcasting Corporation"