"( theme music playing )" "( knocks on door )" "YES, WHO IS IT?" "DR. CARL HASKELL." " WHAT DO YOU WANT?" " PLEASE, I MUST SPEAK TO YOU." "SHUT THE DOOR PLEASE." "YOU ARE MAXWELL SMART, SECRET AGENT 86?" "PERHAPS." "YOU'RE DR. CARL HASKELL THE PHYSICIST, AREN'T YOU?" "YES.I THOUGHT I'D BE FRANK WITH YOU." "I NEED YOUR HELP." "AS I RECALL, DR. HASKELL," "YOU WERE WORKING ON A TOP-SECRET PROJECT" " FOR OUR GOVERNMENT AND SUDDENLY" " YES, SUDDENLY I DISAPPEARED." "THEY SAY YOU DEFECTED TO THE ENEMY." "I WAS TAKEN PRISONER, KIDNAPPED" " BY" " BY KAOS." " KAOS?" "YES, OF COURSE, THE INTERNATIONAL ORGANIZATION OF EVIL." "WELL, I'VE DEALT WITH THEM BEFORE." " THEY LET YOU GO?" " NO, I ESCAPED," "BUT NOT BEFORE THEY FORCED ME TO TURN OVER TO THEM" "THE RESULTS OF MY MOST SECRET EXPERIMENT..." " YES, GO ON, DOCTOR." " I INVENTED A GUN" "WHOSE RAY CAN TURN A MAN INVISIBLE." "KAOS NOW HAS IT IN THEIR POSSESSION." "DO YOU REALIZE THE IMPLICATIONS?" "YES OF COURSE," "BUT I FIND IT VERY DIFFICULT TO BELIEVE." "WOULD YOU BELIEVE THAT I HAVE THE PLANS AND DESIGNS OF THAT GUN" "HERE WITH ME, IN THIS BRIEFCASE?" "YOU CAN TURN THEM OVER TO YOUR GOVERNMENT," "BUT MEANTIME I MUST BE PROTECTED." "YES, WELL, DR. HASKELL, NOW THAT YOU ARE HERE" "I'M SURE THAT YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT." "Man's voice:" "STAND STILL, GENTLEMEN." "IF EITHER OF YOU MOVES" " THE DOCTOR WILL DIE." " WHO SAID THAT?" " I DID." " IT'S KAOS." "( trembling ) THEY FOUND ME!" " NOW LISTEN, WHOEVER YOU ARE" " Man #2:" "DON'T MOVE, SMART." "THERE ARE TWO OF US HERE." "IF YOU TRY ANYTHING" "I WILL SHOOT YOU AND MY ASSOCIATE WILL TAKE CARE OF THE DOCTOR." " Man #1:" "THAT'S RIGHT." " OH!" "YOU'RE BREAKING MY ARM!" "COME ON, DOCTOR." "YOU'RE COMING BACK WITH US." " Man #2:" "BRING THE BRIEFCASE, HASKELL." " ( grunting )" "OPEN THE DOOR." "Man #1:" "RIGHT." "BEFORE WE LEAVE YOU," "A LITTLE SOMETHING TO REMEMBER US BY, MR. SMART." "Man #2:" "LET ME GIVE YOU A MESSAGE FOR YOUR GOVERNMENT." "YOU CAN HAVE THE PLANS FOR THE INVISIBILITY RAY" "FOR $10 MILLION." "IF YOU DON'T WANT IT, THERE ARE OTHER NATIONS WHO WILL." "Haskell:" "STOP THEM!" "( coughing )" "( theme music playing )" "...THEN THE GUN WENT OFF, I GOT HIT ON THE FACE" "BY A PUFF OF SMOKE, AND I CAME TO 20 MINUTES LATER." "MAX, I DON'T MEAN TO SUGGEST THAT YOU ARE NOT TELLING THE TRUTH," "BUT ISN'T IT JUST CONCEIVABLE THAT THIS WHOLE AFFAIR" " COULD HAVE BEEN A BAD DREAM?" " ABSOLUTELY NOT, CHIEF." "I TELL YOU, I SAW TWO INVISIBLE MEN." "UH, THAT IS, I DIDN'T SEE TWO INVISIBLE MEN." "WHAT I MEAN TO SAY IS" "I SAW TWO MEN WHO WERE NOT IN MY APARTMENT" "WHO WERE THERE." "MAX, THINK WHAT YOU'RE ASKING ME TO BELIEVE." "IT'S SCIENCE FICTION." "IT'S A FANTASY." "YES, BUT THIS ISN'T." ""OUR REPRESENTATIVE WILL BE AT YOUR APARTMENT TONIGHT." "IF THE MONEY IS NOT READY WE WILL BE GLAD TO SELL THE SECRET" "TO YOUR COUNTRY'S ENEMIES." SIGNED" "I CAN'T MAKE OUT THE SIGNATURE." "IT'S INVISIBLE." "ALL RIGHT, MAX." "IT'S INCONCEIVABLE," "BUT IN THIS RAPIDLY CHANGING WORLD WHO KNOWS?" "HAVE THE BOYS FROM THE LAB GO TO SMART'S APARTMENT" "AND TELL AGENT 99 TO MEET ME THERE." "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO, CHIEF?" "YOU'D BETTER WRITE DOWN THESE INSTRUCTIONS." " WE'VE GOT TO BE PRECISE." " RIGHT, CHIEF." "FIRST OF ALL, PLAN "A"" "IF THEY DO SHOW UP WITHOUT THE RAY GUN" "HOLD ON A SECOND, CHIEF, YOU GOT A PIECE OF PAPER?" " YEAH." " THANK YOU." "IF THEY SHOW UP AT YOUR APARTMENT WITHOUT THE RAY GUN" " YOU'VE GOT TO FORCE THEM" " JUST A MINUTE, CHIEF," "DO YOU HAVE A PENCIL?" " I THINK SO." " THANK YOU." "IF THEY SHOW UP AT YOUR APARTMENT WITHOUT THE RAY GUN" "YOU'VE GOT TO FORCE THEM TO TAKE YOU TO THEIR HIDEOUT" "AND FIND A WAY TO CONFISCATE THE WEAPON." "YOU GOT THAT?" ""PLAN 'A'."" "I HAVE A FEELING THIS IS GOING TO TAKE TOO LONG." ""I HAVE A FEELING..."" "COME ON, MAX." "COME ON, MAX." "NOW IF THEY SHOW UP WITH THE RAY GUN" "WE PUT PLAN "B" INTO EFFECT." ""..." "TAKE TOO LONG."" "NEVER MIND THAT." "JUST LISTEN." "IF THEY HAVE THE RAY GUN" "YOU STRIKE A MATCH AT THAT WINDOW." "WHEN YOU STRIKE THAT MATCH IT WILL BE A SIGNAL FOR US TO MOVE IN FOR THE CAPTURE." "WHAT IF THEY TRY TO TAKE A SHOT OF ME?" "IF THEY SHOULD DO THAT" "YOU'LL BE PROTECTED BY DOING THIS." "( clicks )" "THE BOYS FROM OUR LAB INSTALLED IT EARLIER TODAY." "APPLYING PRESSURE TO THE EDGE OF THIS DESK" "WILL LOWER AN INVISIBLE WALL THAT NOTHING CAN PENETRATE." "ONE QUESTION, CHIEF" "IF THE WALL IS INVISIBLE," " THEN HOW DO YOU KNOW IF IT'S UP OR DOWN?" " ( thud )" "THAT'S ONE WAY." "THAT'S FANTASTIC." " YOU CAN'T EVEN TELL IT'S THERE." " ( thud )" "HOW DO YOU RAISE IT?" "BY LEANING ON THE DESK AGAIN." "NOW IF THEY SHOULD TRY TO KILL YOU" "THIS INVISIBLE WALL WILL SERVE TO PREVENT YOUR HARM..." "SORRY ABOUT THAT, CHIEF." "...AT WHICH TIME THEY WILL UNDOUBTEDLY RETURN TO THEIR HIDEOUT" " TO REPORT THE INCIDENT." " AND THAT'S WHEN I FOLLOW THEM, RIGHT?" " WRONG." " WRONG." "IN THAT CASE 99 WILL BE WATCHING FROM ACROSS THE COURT" "AND SHE WILL FOLLOW THEM." "I DON'T THINK THEY'D BE SUSPICIOUS OF A WOMAN." "BUT WHAT IF THEIR HIDEOUT IS IN THE Y.M.C.A.?" "THEN SHE'LL CALL YOU." "I'M NOT A MEMBER." "MAX, DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING FOR A HEADACHE?" "YOU KNOW, CHIEF, YOU WANT TO GO AND HAVE A CHECK-UP." "YOU'VE BEEN GETTING THESE HEADACHES OFTEN LATELY." "ONLY ON OCCASIONS, MAX." "WELL, YOU'VE HAD ONE EVERY TIME I'VE BEEN WITH YOU." "THOSE ARE THE OCCASIONS." " AH, AH." " WHAT'S THE MATTER?" " DON'T DO THAT, CHIEF." " WHY NOT?" "WELL, YOU SEE I HAPPEN TO HAVE A FEW PROTECTIVE DEVICES" "OF MY OWN." "THIS IS ONE OF THEM." "NOW I'LL SHOW YOU HOW IT WORKS." "HERE, YOU HOLD THE GLASS." "HOLD IT OUT THERE." "NOW WATCH." " VERY INGENIOUS, MAX." " OH, THAT'S NOTHING, CHIEF." "WAIT TILL YOU GET A LOAD OF THIS ONE." "NOW WATCH WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I TURN THIS LAMP ON" "WITHOUT USING THE SAFETY SWITCH." "ANYONE RIFLING THE DRAWERS IS GONNA END UP WITH QUITE A STOMACHACHE." " ANYTHING ELSE?" " WELL, IF YOU LIKED THAT" "YOU'LL GET A BIG KICK OUT OF THIS, CHIEF." "I'VE GOT A SPECIAL MANTRAP OPERATED FROM THIS COUCH." " MANTRAP?" " YES." " YOU SEE THAT NET UP THERE?" " YEAH." "WELL, YOU MERELY PRESS THIS BUTTON HERE" "NO NO, MAX, THANK YOU." "I'VE SEEN ENOUGH." "WHERE DO YOU GET THE IDEAS FOR ALL THESE DEVICES?" "I'VE GOT THIS FUNNY LITTLE DECORATOR, YOU SEE." " WHAT IS THAT?" " OH, NOW THAT REALLY IS SENSATIONAL, CHIEF." "STAND ASIDE AND I'LL SHOW YOU HOW IT WORKS." "LEND ME YOUR HAT." "OKAY NOW, WHEN I DROP THIS HAT," "YOU PULL THE KNOB." "YOU READY?" " READY." " OKAY, ONE, TWO, THREE, GO." "( whoosh )" "OKAY, YOU CAN TURN IT OFF NOW, CHIEF." " WHAT?" " TURN IT OFF." "WELL, HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?" "IT'S AMAZING." "WHAT IS IT?" "SOME KIND OF A FAN?" "YES, IT IS SOME KIND OF A FAN." "IF SOMEBODY STANDS THERE AND THREATENS ME WITH A GUN" "I MERELY PULL OUT THE KNOB, AND THE GUN IS SUCKED UP THROUGH THE CHIMNEY." "IT TOOK ME MONTHS TO MAKE IT PERFECT." " WHERE IS MY HAT, MAX?" " ALMOST PERFECT." " WHERE'S MY HAT?" " WELL, I WOULD SAY" "IT'S ABOUT 14th STREET AND AVENUE "N"..." " WHAT?" " ..." "ACCORDING TO THE WIND VELOCITY" " AND THE DENSITY OF THE HAT." " SMART!" "( knocking on door )" "THAT MUST BE 99, CHIEF." " HELLO, 86." " HELLO, 99." " GOOD EVENING, CHIEF." " HELLO, 99." "86 WILL EXPLAIN THE PLAN AND YOUR DUTIES." " I'M COUNTING ON YOU." " GOOD, CHIEF." "NOW, 86, REMEMBER," "IF THEY HAVE THE RAY GUN, A MATCH STRUCK IN THAT WINDOW" "WILL BRING US RUNNING." "IF THEY DON'T HAVE THE RAY GUN" "AND IF YOU CAN'T CONVINCE THEM TO TAKE YOU WITH THEM" "TO THEIR HIDEOUT, 99 GOES IN PURSUIT." "IF THEY DO TAKE YOU WITH THEM, 99 WILL FOLLOW." "HAVE YOU GOT THAT?" " GOOD LUCK, MAX." " THANK YOU, CHIEF." "OH!" "SORRY ABOUT THAT, CHIEF." " UH, 99?" " YES, 86?" "THERE ARE CERTAIN SECRET DEVICES" "THAT HAVE BEEN INSTALLED IN THIS APARTMENT" "WHICH I SHALL NOW DEMONSTRATE FOR YOU." "( thud )" " MAX." " THIS IS ONE OF THEM." "YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT YOU CAME HERE WITHOUT THE INVISIBLE RAY GUN" "AND YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT SUCH A SILLY GUN EXIST?" "WELL, GENTLEMEN, I'M AFRAID YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SHOW ME." " YOU SEE, I'M FROM MINNESOTA." " YOU MEAN MISSOURI." "MISSOURI." "DON'T TELL ME WHERE I'M FROM." "THE KAOS AGENTS HAVE JUST ENTERED MAX'S APARTMENT, CHIEF." "IT LOOKS TO ME LIKE THEY DIDN'T EVEN BRING THE RAY GUN WITH THEM." "NOW MAX IS STALLING." "HE'S TRYING TO GET AS MUCH INFORMATION AS HE CAN." "GENTLEMEN, I'M AFRAID THAT YOUR GUNS ARE USELESS." "YOU SEE, THERE'S AN INVISIBLE WALL BETWEEN US." "GO AHEAD, SHOOT." "THE BULLETS WILL MERELY BOUNCE OFF." "YOU'LL SIMPLY BE WASTING YOUR AMMUNITION." "NOW I DON'T CARE TO DISCUSS IT ANY FURTHER." "( knocks )" "UNLESS OF COURSE WE DISCUSS IT AT YOUR PLACE." "THE KAOS AGENTS ARE TAKING MAX TO THEIR HIDEOUT, CHIEF." "I'M GONNA HANG UP NOW AND FOLLOW THEM." "I'LL CHECK IN LATER." "OH, DON'T WORRY, I'LL BE CAREFUL." "( screams )" "WELCOME, MR. SMART." "SO GOOD OF YOU TO COME." "MY NAME IS EHRLICH." "I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET SOME OF MY ASSOCIATES." "COLONEL VON KRUEGER." " WIE GEHT'S?" " DANKE." "AND DR. E.K. GAMBINI." "PIACERE, SIGNOR SMART." "( Italian accent ) WELCOME TO OUR HUMBLE HIDEOUT." "BUONGIORNO." "NOW WHAT'S ALL THIS TOMMYROT ABOUT INVISIBILITY?" "THERE'S NOBODY THERE." "ON THE CONTRARY, THEY ARE VERY MUCH THERE." "JUST INVISIBLE." "( giggles )" "PLEASE, MR. SMART, SIT DOWN." "IS THERE ANYBODY THERE?" "SOPHIE, OFFER OUR GUEST A CIGARETTE." "SOPHIE?" "Woman's voice:" "CIGARETTE, MR. SMART?" "YES.THANK YOU." "IF THERE'S ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT, JUST ASK." "PERHAPS SIGNOR SMART WOULD LIKE SOME WINE." "A SPLENDID SUGGESTION." "I'LL CHOSE IT MYSELF." "EXCUSE ME." "NOW THAT WE ARE ALONE I WANT TO GIVE YOU" "A LAST CHANCE TO GIVE YOURSELVES UP." "THERE'S STILL TIME FOR YOU TO TAKE YOUR PLACE IN SOCIETY" "AS NORMAL, DECENT, INVISIBLE MEN" "AND WOMEN." "( clicks ) EXCELLENT!" "EXCELLENT!" "YOUR WIRE-PULLING IS PRECISE." "AND YOUR VOICES ARE SUPERB." "KEEP IT UP!" "THE LIGHTING IS PERFECT." "THE WIRES CAN HARDLY BE SEEN EVEN BY ME." "( clicks )" "KRUEGER AND GAMBINI, YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS MAD SCHEME." "Sophie:" "WOULD YOU LIKE SOME HORS D'OEUVRES, MR. SMART?" "YES, SOPHIE, AS A MATTER OF FACT I WOULD." "NOW LISTEN, SOPHIE, IF YOU'LL TURN OVER THE RING ONTO ME" "I'LL SEE THAT YOU GET OFF LIGHTLY." "HOW ABOUT IT?" "HERE ARE YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES, MR. SMART." "WELL, THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS WEAR A STRONG PERFUME, SOPHIE." "DID YOU SAY SOMETHING, MR. SMART?" "HERE WE ARE." "WE'LL HAVE SOME WINE AND THEN SETTLE ALL THE BUSINESS." "SOPHIE, SOME GLASSES, PLEASE." "WATCH OUT!" "Man's voice:" "WATCH OUT!" " WHO CAME IN?" " UH..." "AHA." "VERY CLEVER, MR. EHRLICH," "BUT NOT QUITE CLEVER ENOUGH." "YOU HAD ME FOOLED FOR A WHILE," "BUT NOW I'M WISE TO YOU." "THERE IS NO SOPHIE AND THERE IS NO GAMBINI." " THERE ISN'T?" " NO," "BECAUSE COLONEL KRUEGER OVER THERE" "IS A VENTRILOQUIST." "COME COME, MR. SMART." "TELL ME WHERE IS THE MONEY?" "THERE'LL BE NO MONEY, MR. EHRLICH," "NOT UNTIL I'M FIRMLY CONVINCED." "SO FAR I HAVEN'T RECEIVED ONE SHRED OF EVIDENCE" "THAT A RAY GUN EXISTS THAT CAN MAKE PEOPLE INVISIBLE." "Gambini:" "WHAT ABOUT US, SIGNOR SMART?" "YES, WELL, YOU COULD HAVE BEEN BORN INVISIBLE." "EHRLICH!" "SHOW HIM THE RAY GUN." " BUT..." " DO AS I SAY!" "ALL RIGHT." "THERE IT IS, MR. SMART." "AHA." "HOW DOES IT WORK?" "VERY SIMPLY." "THIS DIAL GOVERNS THE INTENSITY OF THE RAY," "THIS DIAL GOVERNS THE DURATION OF THE INVISIBILITY," "LET'S SAY FIVE MINUTES." "THEN ONE TURNS THAT DIAL AND IT'S ON." " SIMPLE, ISN'T IT?" " YES, I SUPPOSE SO," "AS FAR AS RAY GUNS GO." "WHY DON'T YOU TRY IT ON ME, EHRLICH?" "THEN MAYBE I MIGHT BELIEVE YOU." "OH NO, MR. SMART." "WE ARE NOT AS FOOLISH AS THAT." "OH, HOW FOOLISH ARE YOU?" "IF I TURN THE RAY ON YOU-- PRESTO" " YOU DISAPPEAR," "WE LOSE A VALUABLE PRISONER." " SOPHIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" " WHAT?" "OH!" "ARGH!" "( beeping )" "AHA." "A LOW TRICK, EHRLICH, BUT IT WORKED." "NOW I'M AS INVISIBLE AS THE REST OF YOU." "NOW I HAVE THE UPPER HAND." "BUT I CAN SEE MY UPPER HAND." "AND I CAN SEE MY LOWER HAND." "WHY, I CAN SEE ALL OF ME." "EHRLICH, THE RAY GUN WAS A PHONY AND SO ARE YOU." "WELL..." "Gambini:" "OF COURSE YOU CAN SEE YOURSELF, SIGNOR SMART." "WE CAN ALL SEE OURSELVES," "BUT NOBODY ELSE CAN SEE US." "THAT'S RIGHT." "ONLY YOU CAN SEE YOURSELF," "MR. SMART, WHEREVER YOU ARE." "Gambini:" "DON'T LET HIM ESCAPE." "Sophie's:" "DON'T LEAVE ME, MR. SMART." "WE HAVE SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT TOGETHER." "NO, LEAVE ME ALONE." "WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE, YOU FOOL?" " SHE GOT AWAY." " DON'T WORRY, 99, IT'S ME, MAX, MAX." "I'M HERE TO PROTECT YOU." "YOU ARE PERFECTLY SAFE." "EVEN THOUGH YOU CAN'T SEE ME, I'LL PROTECT YOU." "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" "I CAN SEE YOU." "YES, OF COURSE." "YOU CAN SEE ME, BUT I CAN'T SEE MYSELF." "NO, WAIT A MINUTE." "I CAN SEE MYSELF, BUT YOU CAN'T" "MYSELF-- I" "WAIT RIGHT HERE." "HOW DOES THAT GO AGAIN, EHRLICH?" " I CAN SEE MYSELF" " ENOUGH." "YOU HAD TO LET HER ESCAPE." "OUT OUT!" "ALL RIGHT, MR. SMART." "NOW YOU REALIZE THIS WHOLE THING IS A HOAX" "THAT WE HAVE NO INVISIBILITY RAY GUN," "THAT THERE IS NO GAMBINI," " NO KRUEGER" " OF COURSE!" "SOPHIE IS THE VENTRILOQUIST." "I WAS THE VENTRILOQUIST, MR. SMART." "OBVIOUSLY, THEY'VE BEEN DECEIVING YOU, MAX." "YES, BUT FORTUNATELY I FOUND OUT JUST IN TIME." "WHY, THEY'VE BEEN USING WIRES" "AND A LOUDSPEAKER SYSTEM." " EXACTLY, MR. SMART." " YOU HAVE?" " WHAT ABOUT HASKELL?" " HE'S OUR ASSOCIATE." "OH." "BUT MY APARTMENT." "HOW DID YOU ARRANGE MY APARTMENT?" "JUST THIS BRIEFCASE, MR. SMART," "WITH BUILT-IN STEREO SPEAKERS," "WITH A PRERECORDED TAPES OF THE VOICES" "OF MY INVISIBLE COMPANIONS." "Man's voice:" "I'LL SHOOT YOU AND MY ASSOCIATE WILL TAKE CARE OF THE DOCTOR." " Man #2:" "THAT'S RIGHT." " BUT THE GUN," "HOW DID YOU MANAGE THE GUN?" "WATCH." "YOU LOOK CLOSELY, MR. SMART." "YOU CAN SEE THE WIRES THAT ATTACH THE GUN" "TO A CONTROL MECHANISM" "WHICH I OPERATE." "BUT I CAN SEE THOSE WIRES PERFECTLY." "NOW YOU CAN SEE THEM, BUT LATE AT NIGHT WHEN THE LIGHTS ARE LOW" "AND YOU ARE OPEN TO SUGGESTION" "BECAUSE YOU ARE TIRED, VERY TIRED" "ENOUGH!" "ALL RIGHT, MR. SMART," "TELL US WHERE IS THE MONEY." "WELL, EHRLICH, YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE." "I SUPPOSE WE'LL HAVE TO TAKE YOU TO MY APARTMENT." "CONTROL IS SCHEDULED TO CALL ME THERE AT EXACTLY 9:00 P.M." "NOW IF THEY ARE ASSURED THAT 99 AND I ARE PERFECTLY SAFE," "THEN AND ONLY THEN" "WILL THEY REVEAL WHERE THE MONEY IS PLANTED." "LET'S GO, MR. SMART." "LET'S GO." "ALL RIGHT, SMART, THAT PHONE HAD BETTER START RINGING." "IT'S TWO MINUTES UNTIL 9:00." "OH, IS IT THAT LATE?" "NO WONDER I'M SO HUNGRY." "SAY, I'VE GOT A GREAT IDEA." "THERE IS A LITTLE CHINESE RESTAURANT" " ABOUT THREE BLOCKS FROM HERE." " LOOK AROUND, HASKELL." " I'M GOING TO GIVE THE SIGNAL NOW." " WHAT ARE YOU WHISPERING ABOUT?" "OH, I WAS JUST TELLING 99 THAT I WAS GOING TO HAVE A CIGARETTE." "ANYBODY GOT A LIGHT?" "( clicking )" "ANYBODY GOT SOME FLINT?" "HASKELL, WHAT TIME IS IT?" "ONE AND A HALF MINUTES TO 9:00." "KEEP LOOKING AT YOUR WATCH." "I WANT TO KNOW EXACTLY WHEN TO KILL MR. SMART." "MAX, WHILE WE'RE WAITING, WHY DON'T WE ALL HAVE A LITTLE DRINK?" "NO, I'M NOT THIRSTY, 99." "OH, MAX..." "YES, THAT MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA." "MR. EHRLICH, HOW ABOUT A LITTLE SCOTCH?" "I THINK PERHAPS I WILL." "THERE YOU ARE." "HOW ABOUT A LITTLE SODA?" "OH YES." "OR PERHAPS NOT." "HEY." "I THINK YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE THAT." "IT'S A REAL PEPPER-UPPER." "ONE MINUTE TO GO." "DOES HE HAVE TO KEEP GIVING THE TIME?" "TIME IS RUNNING OUT, MR. SMART." "MAX, MAYBE MR. EHRLICH COULD USE A LITTLE MORE LIGHT." "HUH?" "IT SEEMS A LITTLE DARK OVER HERE BY THE DESK." "AHEM." "YES." "THE DESK." " WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" " I WAS JUST GOING TO" "MAKE THE ROOM A LITTLE MORE CHEERFUL." "JUST DON'T TRY ANYTHING, SMART." "Haskell:" "30 SECONDS." "THERE GOES BIG BEN AGAIN." "( whispering ) PRESS THE BUTTON." "THE BUTTON OF THE THING" " OH!" " THE BUTTON." "MR. EHRLICH, HOW ABOUT A REFILL?" "YES, I THINK I WILL." "ALL RIGHT, MR. SMART," "THAT NET WAS MEANT FOR ME." " WHAT NET?" " THAT NET." "A CLUMSY TRAP THAT DIDN'T WORK." "FUNNY YOU SHOULD PUT IT THAT WAY." "SMART, YOUR TIME IS UP." "NOW WAIT A MINUTE, EHRLICH." "HASKELL OVER HERE IS THE TIMEKEEPER." "HASKELL, WHAT TIME IS IT?" " 9:00." " OKAY, MY TIME IS UP." "NOW WAIT A MINUTE, GENTLEMEN.YOU WIN." "I LIED ABOUT THE PHONE CALL." "THE MONEY HAS BEEN HERE ALL THE TIME." " WHERE?" " WELL, I'LL TAKE YOU TO IT." " IT'S IN THE CHIMNEY." " I'LL GET IT MYSELF." "I DON'T THINK HE TRUSTS ME, HASKELL." "JUST IN CASE YOU HAVE ANY MORE OF YOUR CLUMSY TRICKS." "A FIREPLACE IS AN EXCELLENT PLACE TO HIDE WEAPONS." "HERE, KEEP HIM COVERED." "SIT DOWN, SMART." " ( whooshes ) - ( screaming )" " GOOD WORK, 86!" " THANK YOU, 99." "WELL, WE'VE CAPTURED EHRLICH AND HASKELL, WE'VE SAVED THE GOVERNMENT" "$10 MILLION, AND WE'VE BEATEN KAOS AGAIN." "THAT'S RIGHT, 99, BUT THERE'S ONE THING THAT REALLY MAKES ME HAPPY." " WHAT'S THAT, 86?" " I THINK EHRLICH'S HAT WILL JUST FIT THE CHIEF." "WELL, THAT JUST ABOUT WRAPS IT UP, 99." "HASKELL AND EHRLICH ARE ON THEIR WAY TO PRISON," "THE CHIEF LIKES EHRLICH'S HAT," "AND ONCE AGAIN THE FORCES OF VIRTUE" "HAVE TRIUMPHED OVER THE FORCES OF ROTTENNESS." "MAX, WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE IF THE CHIMNEY FAN HADN'T WORKED?" "AH, I STILL HAD ONE ACE UP MY SLEEVE, 99." " YOU SEE THIS CHAIR OVER HERE?" " UH-HUH." "WELL, INSIDE THIS CHAIR IS A DEVICE" "WHICH WHEN ACTIVATED RELEASES A HIGHLY POTENT SLEEPING GAS." "THAT'S MARVELOUS." "HOW DOES IT WORK?" "WELL, IT'S REALLY QUITE SIMPLE, 99." "YOU MERELY TAKE BOTH HANDS" "AND PRESS THEM DOWN ON THE ARMS OF THE CHAIR." "THEN YOU TAKE BOTH FEET AND PRESS THEM ON THE FLOOR," "WHILE PUSHING BACK AGAINST THIS CUSHION," "AT THE SAME TIME RELEASING A SWITCH BEHIND THIS TABLE." "THEN THE GAS COMES OUT OF THE VENTILATING SYSTEM." "HERE, I'LL SHOW YOU." "( clicks )" "SEE?" "THERE IT IS." "OH." "OH, MAX." " OH." " I THINK..." "WE CAN MAKE IT TO THE DOOR." "I THINK WE CAN MAKE IT TO THE FLOOR." "( theme music playing )"