"Too supermarket." "Too PBS." "Too 'Dance Fever'." "Please!" "don't be afraid" "You were made to go out and get her" "The minute you let her under your skin" "Then you begin to make it better" "There it is." "My god." "terrific." "He just fixed this last week." "he thought it would be a gold mine." "And all we ever got out of it is dirty hamburgers." "Josh!" "babe!" "Bobby and Kelp are giving me a ride to work." "right?" "Josh." "He's your father." "is a flake." "He's a scientist who—" "Josh." "And she won't have you talking this way." "what's he doing in there looking for Wookies?" "It's embarrassing." "This is incredible." "Josh!" "I did it." "The eagle has landed." "we're talking to Mars! hah hah" "Those wild and crazy scientific guys" "— I love 'em those Misfits..." "Zap me with your misfit science" "Shoot me full of ecstasy" "I need a hit from this excitement" "In my wildest fantasy" "I can feel it! straight from my heart straight from the heart" "Oooh straight from my heart oh-no-ohohohoh" "Science is over" "Class dismissed!" "don't tell me that!" "goose" something." "You should feel flattered." "El and I invented the damn thing." "Don't you think that they should show us the test results?" "it's not up to me." "this second." "It's just simply not up to me." "Then who is it "simply up to"?" "They won't tell me." "Billy!" "Billy!" "you wanna hear something incredibly far out?" "okay?" "Oh." "but it's touchy." "Touchy." "Leonard Sprocks." "Says he only gets like this during mating season." "Better watch his hands." "this'll just take a second." "It's okay." "They're gone." "(Everybody talking at once)" "Dick:" "Four labs in the east building have already called to complain about electrical problems." "Richard? you think we got B-Man down here for testing or something." "B-Man." "guys." "Can we get the test results back on the human fly now?" "a week." "C'mon." "Nice shot. fourteen Stetmeyer's" "Billy:" "Alright." "You guys blew it when you showed him the swatter." "Tech:" "Dr. Hayes." "We're not getting a reading." "it doesn't work." "he's got to go." "Billy:" "He's got a little smoke." "See the smoke?" "El:" "It's our landlord." "He said he looked under the mat and the check wasn't there." "you tell 'im I looked in the bathroom and the plumber wasn't there." "Okay?" "take the phone." "I'm tired of talking to him." "I've gotta talk to you." "man." "Tech:" "Dr. Hayes." "Dr. Hayes." "Will you come back here?" "okay?" "I just don't have the—" "Richard." "Can you just...?" "Dick:" "Oh." "Excuse me." "Excuse me." "I've been listening to him for the last twenty minutes." "Richard can't give us our test results because of that "goose" something project." "It's classified." "I've already made myself perfectly clear." "If it were up to me— just take the phone." "We're talking about something of major significance here!" "Okay." "Harry." "You got the floor." "What is it?" "Dinner." "Excuse me?" "I—I got something really far out I wa—I wanna show you guys i-if he wants to—" "Can come over to my house for dinner tomorrow night." "we got— Tomorrow?" "uh— I checked it out with Gloria and Jane – it's cool with them." "look." "Um..." "We'd really like to – we'd love to – it's gonna be impossible." "thing on our—" "On our—our new experiment. I-I just— Some other time would be great." "right now." "it'll—it'll keep." "It'll keep." "Next time." "Huh?" "yeah." "It'll—it'll keep." "We'll do it next time." "okay?" "babe?" "Thanks." "Alright." "Now what seems to be the problem here?" "it's unconstitutional when the government classifies your own work." "sir." "babe." "We threw away how many Transicon units before we got one that worked?" "Four." "three or four?" "Something like that." "I mean—" "What if they get a hold of one that's got bugs in it?" "Huh?" "I'm telling you – trust me on this – this whole secrecy business is gonna pull a major boomerang on these guys." "I'm telling ya." "she put pickles on my burger!" "mayonnaise." "Mayonnaise" "She's definitely upset." "I just have a minute." "Glo?" "would it?" "He called me to cancel" "I don't see how you guys could treat him like that." "too – we really do – you know? right?" "Right." "And there's only so much Janis Joplin and outer space and robots you can talk about before you just have to draw the line." "Has he ever invited you to dinner before?" "Do you have any idea what he had to put himself through just to ask?" "would you?" "Cause you think you're too good for 'im." "I'm really disappointed in you." "You think he'll be serving brown rice?" "huh?" "Had a real 'earthy' taste." "it's one of my dad's greater inventions:" "gritty hamburgers." "huh?" "have you?" "look" "I just feel a little uncomfortable." "Okay?" "Billy and I have a relationship." "Sort of." "okay?" "You should probably say something to him before he figures it out himself." "I tell you what:" "I'll tell him." "No you won't." "I'll tell him." "When?" "At my earliest convenience." "When?" "Not today." "that's her third burger." "Dr. Hayes." "I'll try to remember that." "I'm serious." "Is she looking a little Cabbage Patch to you these days?" "Fabulous." "I know." "Get ready for Eugene." "my name is Eugene McCarthy." "Would you like some coffee?" "No thanks." "I'm middle of the road these days." "and— don't bet on it." "I'm— I've got something very big." "uh... o-off a satellite." "And finally – uh..." "I contacted extraterrestrials." "Did—did he say...?" "Martians." "Aliens." "Mars." "I-I don't know how far." "Okay!" "Um..." "Harry." "I had a cousin whose friends lived on the next farm and they saw flying saucers." "Harry?" "but— Right." "Okay." "I guess I better show you." "C-c'mon." "Hello out there." "This is Harry." "Planet Earth." "wait—wait a min—wait a minute." "Harry." "Hello out there." "This is Harry." "Planet -"?" "Harry?" "You need a Transicon unit." "I-I-I-I got one." "One of the busted ones you guys threw out." "All it needed was a couple circuits." "boosting the F-ROM." "Harry." "Planet Earth." "What's a "Transicon"?" "The Transicon unit is a device we developed—" "—that translates computer input from one language or set of codes to another." "man to machine..." "Madonna to Mantovani." "Stetmeyer said they're using it on a goose." "I can't believe you guys are buying into this stuff." "the Misfits wouldn't be here." "Hello out there." "This is Harry!" "Agent:" "We're getting a signal in the neighborhood." "We're trying to home in now." "Planet Earth!" "okay." "I know what you guys are thinking." "cloud cover's interfering with my signal." "man." "Clouds are not a problem." "it could be electrical interference above the clouds." "Electrical..." "Interference." "no problem." "I tell ya what:" "You talk to 'em in here and I'll go outside and I'll wave to 'em as they fly by." "I have to go to the bathroom." "Again?" "Hello out there!" "This is Harry!" "Planet Earth!" "I was takin' a bath." "On about a Saturday night." "I was sittin' in a tub." "Thinkin' everything was alright." "That's a stupid song." "Sixties." "It's fifties." "But who's countin'?" "how ya doin'?" "How would you be doing if your father was in there talkin' to Martians?" "Why are you on his case all the time?" "It seems to me he's a pretty major league guy." "We used to be real tight when I was a kid." "I used to work in the garage with him and invent things." "but when you grow up..." "Then you're s'posed to stop dreaming?" "it depends on who's paying for those dreams." "He's got an IQ of a hundred and ninety zillion and he's still washing test tubes at a lab." "you know?" "He doesn't care about his job." "He doesn't care about money." "He just cares about what's in that garage." "What?" "And you think he doesn't care about you?" "he'd do a lot less dreaming." "This is a major bummer." "I feel terrible." "This is all just to get us up here to dinner." "Jude!" "Josh!" "I got 'em again!" "That's binary code." "It's the language of the universe." "The song of the stars." "Harry:" "Star system confirmed." "Billy!" "This isn't a trick." "Or some fancy software." "This is happening." "This is real. but this..." "This is incredible" "Hold on." "We're getting some contact now." "Wait a minute." "We gotta find a way to confirm this okay?" "I mean— We gotta find a way to prove it." "man?" "Ask 'em to send a postcard? and come over to the lab" "You got it." "Invitation to dinner." "Define dinner." "Uh..." "Feast and celebration." "Accept... very pleased." "Send coordinates." "Send coordinates." "Accept"?" "Did they say "accept"?" "El:" "This is great!" "Great!" "Alright!" "He did it!" "He did!" "he got 'em!" "They're talking to the aliens!" "You really think he could be onto something?" "Do I look like an expert?" "What do you think?" "I think I've been down this road before." "but the signal is strong and steady." "we've made contact." "Do you copy?" "This is mother Goose We've acknowledge contact" "Contact Confirmed." "Will be sending in support" "Billy:" "There's no way." "There's just no way he could've made this stuff up." "look at these orbit parameters." "Look at this." "Billy." "I think he's really done it." "They told me this was going on a-and I didn't believe 'em." "I-I-I said to myself: "How—how could they be doing this to me?" "They know about my ulcer." "Do you realize what the board would do if it found out about this?" "Humanidyne scientists fooling around with flying saucers." "Stop it." "No!" "the pursuit of extraterrestrial life is a perfectly legitimate scientific concern." "gimme a break." "It's not lunchtime!" "are— Richard." "Are you asking us to turn our backs on this? we could be on the verge of—" "Losing the last shred of respectability left you." "we're talkin' frontiers here." "We're talkin' major breakthroughs." "We're talkin to "go where no man has ever gone before"." "We're talking about a lab technician with a personal computer and a homemade radio pulsar accomplishing the most distant space flights and the most sophisticated research programs in the world have been unable to do." "Think about that." "I know." "It's like Harry said." "It's... far out." "It's absurd." "And I'm not going to have Humanidyne implicated." "I don't wanna see you in this computer room anymore." "at all." "Period." "you're a man with a point of view." "And I tell you something: we respect that." "We really do thank you." "dudes!" "Check it out!" "Your old man really must be in trouble now." "'E.T.'?" "Is Captain Kirk under siege by the Klingons?" "Bobby." "Why not keep it to yourself?" "who's gonna make me?" "alright?" "let's get outta here." "It came in this morning." "Coordinates unacceptable." "Cannot land in a populated area." "huh?" "exactly what coordinates did you give 'em?" "My house." "Your house?" "!" "you know how he is about these dinner invitations." "Josh'd never go out to see them." "So I figured if I brought 'em to my house..." "Harry." "Look." "All we have to do is send up some new coordinates that are isolated." "the meadow out at Garden Grove?" "Guys?" "I think we better fire up the truck." "okay?" "we're probably blowing this thing way out of proportion." "we might be playing this down a little." "who do you think they are?" "the government has a UFO program." "Very secret." "They investigate sightings and—" "And put a lid on everything they find." "Right." "they do this to us all the time." "Harry!" "Yeah." "but I don't" "I-I know what you're thinkin'." "I-I just can't allow it." "this could get very heavy here. jeopardize your careers and what you're workin' on." "no." "Harry." "Wha—wha—what?" "I don't think you understand what I'm trying to say—" "Bill." "Listen" "You guys..." "You guys have done enough for me already and I re—I really appreciate it. do on my own." "I want you to go over to Andrea's house." "Jessica and your mother's there." "I'm not a kid anymore." "It's not fair." "It's just not fair." "I don't understand." "and they wanna take it away from 'im." "okay?" "But he's one of us." "Sort of." "Are we just gonna let 'im... go it alone." "fearing a lot of evil and—" "Are we just gonna st" "No!" "That was easy." "Harry?" "uh..." "So we'd like to stick with ya." "And help you meet those aliens up at Garden Grove." "Our only problem is the goons." "we could use a little help." "but I think it could work." "Um... can you drive?" "are you crazy?" "Letting this young adult drive is like letting—" "Jane." "Okay?" "A little psychology." "you're on." "But you gotta wait till you see my signal." "Alright?" "Alright." "Hmm?" "Yes?" "There's no way to get around him without being seen." "Glo:" "We gotta have a distraction." "El:" "Maybe we should offer him a cup of coffee." "Glo:" "What?" "Harry:" "What d'you mean by that?" "That's too heavy for me." "sit!" "fella?" "come on." "my name is Eugene McCarthy." "Would you like some coffee?" "Hold it right there!" "Hey." "Got a minute?" "sir." "or something?" "huh?" "Yeah." "Sir?" "uh— and— wise guy." "That's the signal!" "Hit it!" "No!" "Not yet." "Whoa ho!" "kid." "Harry." "Hurry!" "Harry:" "Okay." "I only got a couple more things." "Can you hold 'em?" "Glo:" "Yeah." "Harry:" "Just get the monitor." "Just the monitor" "Okay." "That's it." "Hi guys." "You're cute when you're angry." "what—what a day." "hit the door!" "Hayes." "Thank you." "Where's El?" "B-Man." "I'll catch up with ya at Garden Grove." "Sargent:" "Go after 'em!" "Officer:" "Ice cream truck's in the way." "No key." "that's a good puppy." "Good dog." "bad dog!" "Get outta here!" "that was close." "You're tellin' me." "Hold it!" "Oh..." "Dog." "Get your hands up." "cover yourself." "okay?" "I'd really like an explanation." "How does treason sound to ya?" "Officer:" "This is Alpha Unit Four to Mother Goose." "We have two of the bogeys." "This is Mother Goose." "Officer:" "The others got away." "Okey doke." "Set up the search net." "And bring in the two ya got." "Roger." "Does this guy have any idea what the hell he's locked himself into?" "and counting." "okay?" "They can't hang ya for talkin' to aliens." "He said 'treason'." "Mother Goose." "Billy." "This is no time for nursery rhymes." "wait a minute." "What was the name of that classified project they're using our Transicon unit on?" "Goose" something." "This is Alpha Unit Four to Mother." "We're bringing 'em in." "this is Mother." "We copy." "What's your current twenty?" "We're about eleven minutes from home." "you gotta shrink again." "I can't." "There hasn't been enough time." "dammit." "We gotta find out what's going on here." "And this is really uncomfortable." "I'm honored to welcome you to our planet— No!" "That's too uptight." "What would Captain Kirk say?" "Scotty." "Harry." "You'll make 'em feel right at home." "This is a very far out thing that is happening to me." "I never told anybody." "I always knew this was gonna happen." "It's—it's like my karma." "I've just hung onto the dream... and it's all come round." "Ya—ya gotta hang onto the dreams." "that's all." "too." "So are you." "Everybody that's worth the trouble's a little weird." "I know." "It's just amazing." "my father being be the first guy in the world to talk to aliens." "That's super weird." "Did you call 'em?" "Are you kidding?" "Do you think I like being humiliated in front of my friends?" "I want this bird up and that means we gotta get people out of our hair." "and counting." "You the lunatic that's talkin' to Martians?" "Uh... boy." "Good for you." "they're puttin' up roadblocks all over town." "Tryin' to keep us from seein' this." "They think you're a spy." "you be polite." "Mind your manners with 'em." "We'll be watching." "Jane's looking like a blonde Shamu." "maybe it's stress." "You know?" "Some people eat when they have a problem." "long time" "'Til touch down brings me round again to find" "I'm not the man they think I am at home" "Oh no no no" "I'm a rocket man burning up my fuse up here alone" "I'm a rocket man burning up my fuse up here alone" "long time" "'Til touch down brings me round again to find" "I'm not the man they think I am at home" "Oh no no no" "I'm a rocket man" "Rocket man" "Burning out his fuse up here alone" "Billy." "El." "A human being is reaching out." "This is Alpha Unit Four." "Permission to come home." "it's now or never." "Okay." "Press my neck." "Press your neck... it could be serious." "Can you get up a little?" "if she had bad breath we'd say something." "it's up to us— she's fine." "she's fat." "She's pregnant." "What?" "!" "Boo!" "Billy!" "El:" "Now what?" "There's nothing here but corn." "you know?" "You wanna tell me what's goin' on here?" "Just growing sorghum." "and counting." "The van just arrived with the two clipped pigeons." "We're still gettin' interference." "Countdown remains conditional until we get 'em all." "but the kids never have." "Figured this'd be a good opportunity for 'em." "honey." "I'm so proud of you." "I don't buy it." "we'd both know about it." "I do know." "I—I think you'll find you're guessing'." "El." "um..." "Why would she tell you and not me?" "Huh?" "we got a problem here." "they didn't haul us up here for a corn roast." "it's gotta be—" "Underground." "Officer:" "Halt!" "Where are we going?" "How should I know?" "You think I can see?" "Billy:" "El!" "Escape hatch?" "Worth a try." "whose baby is it anyway?" "Billy." "I'll find out!" "You better tell me now!" "alright." "Her husband." "Whoa!" "Her what?" "!" "Her husband." "Come on!" "Her hu— all this time she's been married all this time and she wouldn't go out with us cause she was married?" "Billy." "Separated?" "Separated from what?" "Her husband!" "Come on!" "Her husband?" "Her husband!" "who is he?" "forget about you and Jane." "We're looking for Mother Goose." "Billy!" "In here." "El." "Uh oh." "Mother Goose." "and counting." "this is not my idea of a fairy tale" "Gaurd:" "Put your hands in the air!" "Harry?" "holding." "holding." "The bird in that silo is a top-secret orbiting delivery system for nuclear warheads and you're tellin' me he's able to do this because he has another one of your Transicon units?" "It was supposed to be one-of-a-kind." "Why didn't you tell us about it?" "You see what happens when you go to private contractors." "Mr. Classified Goose." "we might've been talking to you." "we didn't know we were giving directions to a damn ballistic missile!" "Billy." "Look." "Harry salvaged a non-working unit out of the garbage." "And he got it workin' again?" "but he's modified it and he's boosted it so that it's three or four times as powerful as yours." "It looks like we all underestimated Harry." "Desire rendezvous now." "Instructions?" "seven." "Must be coming from a mother ship. it's gonna land smack dab in the middle of Garden Grove." "seven." "Garden Grove Meadow." "That's affirmative." "We don't resume countdown until he's in custody." "Countdown resuming on its own!" "Jeffries!" "Shut her down." "Officer;" "It's not responding!" "Harry." "Launch sequence set." "Coordinates locked and set!" "Alright!" "Break out the good dishes." "Alright!" "Oh..." "Oh my god." "Announcer:" "Mother goose has reached stable orbit." "She's in stable orbit now." "Goose:" "Can you get her to respond?" "but it's negative." "She's on her own." "Damn" "Announcer:" "Coordinates fixed and locked." "Coordinates fixed and locked." "Isn't this exciting?" "Jane." "You were talking to me about—about Mark." "Look." "Maybe it wasn't as bad as I said it was." "It's just that... sometimes I felt like I ranked somewhere between his racquetball and waxing the Beamer" "We split up." "It's not such a bad going-away present." "It's the best thing he ever did." "Jude." "they're coming." "Jessica." "here it is!" "That's no spaceship." "That's a helicopter." "Please clear the area." "Clear the area at once." "Please clear the area." "no." "there it is!" "right on time!" "There!" "take the perimeter!" "Give me a hand!" "you're just in time." "listen to me." "man it's a missile." "Oh." "I'm sorry." "Harry." "You've been talking to a missile." "Oh my god." "What've I done?" "Officer:" "Please clear the area." "there are no aliens." "Clear this area!" "He did it to me again." "Let's get outta here." "Please clear the area." "This is for your own safety." "Your old man." "He's a total flake." "Bobby." "You got a big mouth." "you leavin'?" "I don't have a reason to stay." "He's your old man." "Thinka one." "please clear the area." "There are no aliens." "ya gotta turn it." "Talk to it!" "You-you can't talk to a missile once it re-enters." "I-I don't have the equipment." "any ideas?" "It depends on his last transmission" "Soup's on." ""Soup's on"?" "I don't know." "The translator will trace back through its transformational codes." "I'd stick to food codes for sure." "Billy:" "Cancel dinner!" "Harry." "Billy:" "Cancel dinner." "Dinner cancelled." "not cancel." "Dinner moved." "Uh..." "I don't have enough boost without the satellite dish." "I-I don't have the antenna power I need." "Get those people outta here!" "Come on!" "Bill." "Wait." "Wait a minute." "I got it!" "you see the earthmover?" "so?" "Billy:" "The Lewis Effect." "El:" "Of course!" "The false magnetic field." "If we can get Johnny B to store up an electrical storm in it..." "We can create a gigantic electromagnetic antenna and..." "And if I beam my pulse at the antenna..." "It'll work." "It'll work?" "You're gonna turn the tractor into an antenna?" "I don't think so." "Harry." "I gotta go back." "Here." "man." "I don't know." "He once put a motor on my rollerskates." "and it didn't work." "Your old man's never done anything right and he never will." "Bobby." "Stay outta my face." "Or what?" "Josh?" "You can't go down there." "You can't go down there!" "My father's down there." "It's a missile!" "Billy." "Jane." "huh?" "Yeah." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "I should've said something." "too." "No more fat jokes?" "huh?" "Hey." "Dad!" "Dad." "Josh!" "It's not a spaceship." "I know." "What can I do?" "Pulser's floating." "I-I Can't Get antenna power." "I've really screwed up." "I can run the pulser." "You got it." "Five twenty seven." "you gotta electrify that thing." "You gotta get a current running through it." "Now can you handle that much juice?" "Seems like a good time to find out." "Johnny B!" "just think about this befor—" "Go." "Harry." "Send it now." "Moving dinner." "Harry:" "Send new coordinates." "Tell it two degrees north." "Six hundred and twenty million dollars into the side of the mountain." "am I?" "Harry." "Send it again." "Send it again." "Send it again." "New coordinates accepted." "Alright!" "He's okay." "I'm sure he's okay." "you did your best." "And that's what counts." "but it was a pretty good show." "I just—" "I really don't know what to say." "Harry." "You don't have to say anything." "I do." "If it hadn't been for you guys..." "I thought I was really up the river." "But Jeffries said that I uncovered some serious security flaw in his system and he's offered me a job." "what a cosmic shift this is." "um... for some reason..." "Uh..." "He seemed to want to move you up to full research scientist and give you your own lab in another building." "Welcome aboard." "Far out!" "Alright!" "How'd you do that?" "We'll talk about it later." "wait." "You didn't tell Stetmeyer that we were gonna do that toxic waste program?" "Not exactly." "what does that mean?" "I hate that. "Not exactly"." "El." "It means that's not exactly the position." "kid." "Alright." "maybe." "It's a good thing." "It works." "El:" "Billy." "Toxic waste is Toxic Waste!" "It's disgusting Billy!" "Harry:" "Music." "too 80's." "Heard it through the grapevine" "Not much longer would you be mine" "I heard it through the grapevine" "And I'm just about to lose my mind yeah" "I must say" "When I found out yesterday yeah" "Heard it through the grapevine" "Not much longer would you be mine" "I heard it through the grapevine" "And I'm just about to lose my mind yeah" "(Heard it through the grapevine Not much longer would you be my baby)" "Heard it through the grapevine" "Harry:" "I don't believe it" "Harry:" "I don'tbelieveit." "Dad?" "Harry:" "They're talking to us again!" "New coordinates received." "seven hundred and twenty-six..." "Earth years." "Josh!" "Maybe we just better keep this to ourselves. straight from the heart" "Class Assignment oh no no" "Science is over" "Class dismissed!" "Goodnight Bunnies."