"Some days is just like any another day." "Come on, Sean." "Let's hear about everybody's day." "I'll go first." "I went to work, filled my purse with doughnuts," " Didn't sell a car, came home." " There's doughnuts?" "Sorry." "I hit a lot of red lights on the way back." " All right, next." " I didn't make the chess team." "Turns out, it's nothing like checkers." "I finally sneezed this eraser out of my nose." "I did stuff." "Whatever." "I found a dinosaur bone." "What?" "Then again, some days really surprise you." "Yeah, I was in the south end of the quarry," "And all of a sudden I look down," "And there's this gnarled claw bone thing." "Awesome!" " Cool!" " That's not lame." "At the commuty college, have them come pick it up." "What?" "You're gonna let them take credit for your discovery?" "Mike, this is a big deal." "Dad, you should ll the "ors herald."" "Maybe they'll put your picture in the paper." "Oh, they don't want my picture in the paper." "Well, they did that whole article on the guy" "Who found the chicken nugget shaped like texas." "I think you'll get in." "So mike called the "orson herald"... who called the local news... who called the national news... and just like that..." "So we gotta shut down for four months" "To let the paleontologists dig." "mike was out of a job." "Oh, you're home early." "And you made dinner." "What a nice surprise." "Yeah, well, it's really more of a bad surprise." "Aw, you forgot ketchup." "Ohh, this sucks!" "I'm out of a job." " What?" " Wait!" "found it." "It was under the french fries." "They're closing the quarry down for a few months" "So scientists can come in and dig up the rest of it." " Dude!" " Yeah." "Oh, my god." "You lost your job." "Are we gonna be okay?" "Don't worry." "It's just a few months." "We'll be fine." " Absolutely." " Nothing to worry about." "Hey, mike, can I see you in the kitchen for a sec?" "Okay." "Oh my God, Mike, we are screwed." "Oh, yeah." "I would not want to be us right now." "At the dealership." "That's just something I say when the kids are in the room." "We can't afford you being out of work right now." "What are you gonna do?" "Well, I thought I might travel a little bit," "Bike around europe." "What do you think I'm gonna do?" "I'm gonna find another job." "I got a lot of skills." " I'm not worried." " Okay. then I'm not either." "Mom, sign this." "You're running for school historian?" "What?" "I thought you'd want me to run." "Brick, every time you sign up for something," " I end up doing it." " That's not true." "Mom, I entered the science fair." "We're having a party for mr." "Peterson's retirement." "I signed up to write him a song." "# mr." "Peterson, you were really fun # # we're gonna miss you a ton, mr." "Peter-son #" "You won't have to do a thing this time." "I promise." "All I need is your signature." "Or I could have axl do your signature." "He's really good at it." "Hey, here's a job." ""paleontologist's assistant." "Must have master's degree."" "It's not fair." "You're totally qualified." "You found the damn thing." "Trust me, dad." "I've been looking." "There's no jobs out there," "No matter how awesome you may be." "Seriously, I texted my resume to, like, Three places last week." "You can't just text your resume places." "Times like these, you gotta get out there," "Work the shoe leather." "Finding a job is a job." "I'd like to quit that job." "Well, the only way to quit that job is to get a job," "And that's why you're going with me" "To the orson job fair this weekend." "Oh, god!" "When do I get time for myself?" "Job fair?" "More like unfair." "When a fine young man like that can't get a job," "What hope is there for the rest of us?" "And so mike was officially on the job hunt." "And he did look pretty snazzy in his funeral blazer." "This is a line just to get in." "Lot of people looking for jobs." "This is lame." "I'm the only one here under 100." "hey, where's your resumes?" "How do you expect to get any interviews?" "Dude, I'm on an interview right now" "With the guy from the movie theater." "Do you want to see a picture of his dog puking?" "Oh, look." "It's indiana bones." "If you find anything on the ground," "Don't tell this guy." "My interview's going great." "How do you spell "scrotum"?" "Aw, brick." "This says your campaign flyers are due tomorrow." "Oh, really?" "Flyers are super important, brick." "I did flyers when I lost for student council," "And when I lost for teen board," "And when I lost for junior high homecoming court." "I just don't think you get it." "But I can't get 'em done by tomorrow." "I need paper and a copier and..." "Oh, no." "Whatm I gonna do?" "oh, no." "Don't look at me." "If you forgot to make flyers," "Then I guess you'll just be the candidate without flyers." "You know the deal, pal!" "You are on your own." "I am not doing it." "Ooh, personal copies on company time." " That is like a bad girl." " Yeah." "Momy likes to keep her job, So could you watch the door?" "Sure." "Don't worry." "I'm cool." "sometimes I sit on mr." "Ehlert's desk" "With no pants on." "Yep, every day, a little victory." "No funnel cake, no rides..." "oh, this fair sucks!" "Let's just get our jobs and get out of here." "Axl, this is what you gotta do to get a job." "Now watch and learn." "Welcome to cfb consulting." "I'm charles f." "Barnes, a.K.A. "cfb."" "Hi." "Mike heck." "Well, mike, let's see that resume." "First of all, I'd say you have a major font problem." "What?" "Oh, it's a little dry." "Now I can give your resume" "A complete makeover for $100." "Now if you want" "A more comprehensive career consultation," "My weekend packages start at $500." "That's a better price than any of these other booths." "Wait." "This is a racket." "There are no jobs here." "You just lure people who are out of work," "So you can sell 'em crap they can't afford." "Just trying to make a living." "Told you, dad." "That's not how you get a job." "There wasn't anything else in the paper." "Paper?" "oh, that's hilarious." "You know how I got my last job?" "My friend on facebook friended this other dude" "Who I.M.'ed me saying," ""hey, you want this stupid job at barnacles?"" "And I'm like..." ""sweet."" "I can stop worrying about america now." "that's how it's done, dad." "You gotta get online." "Right about then," "Mike was starting to feel a bit like a dinosaur himself." " Axl!" " What?" "This company's taking job applications online." "I need your help." "You need a consult with the ax man, do ya?" "Yeah." "I'm never calling you that." "How do I get this onto that?" "save it as a p.D.F. And upload it." "There." "That's it?" "Thanks." "Axl!" "What?" "They need a e-mail address, and I only have the one at work," "And that's down, so what's yours?" "Here's your flyers." "I'm out." "Wait." "You're actually doing your poster on your own?" "Yep." "And..." "I'm done." "Walk away." "Just turn arnd and walk away." "Axl." "What?" " I got a interview." " Sweet." "You got an interview?" "Yes, I did." "Honey, get me my tie." "Okay, but what are we gonna yank to turn the basement light on?" "Once I get this job, baby, I'm gonna get you the best basement light bulb money can buy." "Hi." "I'm mike heck." "Ah, yes." "The rockin' freak show." "Please, sit down." "So tell me, mike," "What brings you to hoosier grain?" "Well, you called me, told me to come in," "And, uh, here I am." "Okay." "How about you tell me a little about you?" "What are three words you would use" "To describe yourself?" "Uh..." "Tall..." "Mike..." "Man?" "Okay." "Well, what would you say is your best quality?" "Tall?" "What's your worst quality?" "Why would I tell you that?" "That'd be stupid, right?" "I mean, I'm trying to get a job here." "if you were a color, what color would you be?" "I guess I would stick with the color I am." "Are you even allowed to ask me that?" "See, mike just couldn't play the game the way you have to" "In an interview." "He just didn't have it in him." "Look, I be a manager, I'm a hardworker," "I've never been late in my life." "What else do you need to know?" "What superhero quality would you find" "Most valuable to you in the workplace." "Flying, invisibility" "Or stretching to extreme lengths?" "So brick forgot the flyers." "Big surprise." "I guess kinda my fault, 'cause I put them" "On top of his backpack instead of inside it." "When will I learn?" "Oddly enough, whoever defaced the poster" "Put more work into it than brick did." "Hey, pigtails." "This your handiwork?" "No, but it is pretty funny." "You think it's funny, huh?" "I n't think it's funny." "You know why?" "'cause brick's not a nerd." "Doesn't make sense." "Not a good joke." "Unless it's ironic." "Is that why you're laughing?" "Because of the extreme not-nerdiness of my son?" "Are you a teacher?" "Yeah, you wish I was a teacher." "Your school laws don't apply to me..." "Megan." "So I assume brick can count on your vote for historian." "Oh, yeah." "I'm in this thing now." "Okay, not too neat." "It's gotta look like an 8-year-old made it." "Frankie, I took advanced charcoal sketch" "At the learning annex." "I can't unteach my hands." "Mom, I found some more markers in the basement." "Oh, good." "And I couldn't find any clean poster board..." "So I brought some of my old ones." "We can use the other side." "Look." "I put so much work into these," "And vicky hanson grows boobs, and it's all over." "I was robbed." "frankie, do you want a glitter border," " Or is that too much?" " I think that is too much." "I'm gonna need a new poster." "Mom, if I've learned anything" "From my 17 non-winning campaigns," "The poster can only get you so far." "It's really all about the speech." "You're supposed to give a speech?" "Yeah, Thursday at 2:30." "3 to 5 minutes." " Have you written it yet?" " I don't know the words yet," "But I do know what shirt I'm gonna wear." " Hi." "How'd your interview go?" " Great, really great." "Can I see you in the kitchen for a sec?" "it was awful." "She kept asking me all these stupid questions" "That had nothing to do with the job." "How do I describe myself?" "I don't." "It was just stupid." "It was stupid," "And I told her so." "Mike, you have to learn to play the game." "You gotta suck it up in these things." "Look, you have another interview tomorrow," "And whatever crap job they're offering you," "You have to make them think it's your passion." "My passion is you and the colts and the kids." "Work is..." "Work." "You can't tell them that, mike." "And thank you for putting me above the colts." "I'm telling you, it's tough out there, frankie." "I don't know how anybody gets a job." "Hey, I got a job!" "The guy from the movie theater texted me." "I work in the projector, and he says I can have girls up there.." "So mike went to his next interview" " Ready to play the game." " So, mike, what iit about septic tanks" "That appeals to you?" "gosh." "Where do I begin?" "Uh, I think what you do is important" "For the community." "Well, there are a lot of important jobs out there, mike." "Why this one?" "I just really like to work with my hands, you know?" "Just get in there and..." "Lot of jobs where you can work with your hands." "Why here?" "I just..." "Think of the reward..." "Of hosing out a tank" "And giving some lucky family a fresh new start." "I mean, you can't ever really get to know somebody" "Until you've gotten to know their waste." "But why septic waste?" "Because..." "The idea of putting on a rubber suit and goggles" "And wading through human excrement" "Sounds like the adventure of a lifetime!" "It's like being an astronaut here on planet earth." "I guess what I'm really saying is that..." "Seotic waste is my passion." "Okay, so in your speech, you have to say" "Why do you want to be school historian?" "So..." "Write was to be school historian." "Just write whatever you want." "Brick, I won't always be here." "You know, if you want something, you have to work for it." "It doesn't just magically come to you." "Here's the rest of the posters," "And I made this "brick" flag," "In case you want to wave it around at the assembly." "Careful, 'cause the paint's still wet." "brick, why are you reading?" "Bob's bringing your posters," "I'm sitting here doing your speech." "well, I didn't ask you to." " Well, somebody has to." " God!" "You're suffocating me!" "Hey, break it up!" "would you come with me for a second?" "Look, frankie, if he doesn't get it done," "He doesn't get it done." "It's not your job to save him." "bob, you don't know what hapened." "They already think he's a nerd." "All right." "I'm gonna let you in on a little secret." "I was a nerd." " Blows your mind, right?" " Yeah." "Best thing my folks ever did was let me fail..." "Everything." "They didn't even put training wheels on my bike." "Broke my wrist three times, but I learned." "Now every time I-I think I can't do something," "I just listen to the click of my wrist." "Clearly bob had terrible, terrible parents," "But there was a grain of truth to what he was saying." "Look, honey, I'm sorry." "It's your speech, so write it, don't write it..." "It's up to you." "Okay, I won't write it." "Thanks, mom." "hi, honey." "How was the interview?" "It went great." "Really?" "You don't need to see me in the kitchen?" "Nope." "Bob, what are you doing here?" "Ohwe just, uh, put the kids to bed..." "Yeah." "Thought we'd watch a little tv." "Can I get you a beer?" "Uh, no, thanks, bob." "I got it." "Those my pajama bottoms?" "Oh, yeah." "I got paint on my pants," "So they're in the wash, so I grabbed a pair of yours." "I knew you'd be okay with it." "Get out, bob." "You sure?" "'cause, uh... maroon 5's on "kimmel" tonight." "I don't know who that is, bob." "Drive safe." "So?" "It really went well?" "killed my soul." "That's how you know you're doing it righ" "So the day of the election had arrived," "And I was ready to let brick sink or swim," "But if he really started sinkg, i was prepared to pull a fire alarm." "Has been an excelent history." "orson septic." "I believe serving in student council" "Is the best way for me to give back to the school" "That gives me so much." "I would be honored" "With the great privilege to tell our story" "For future generations to come." "Since the end of last year," "I've been working tirelessly day and night..." "And you sucked it up" "And everything." "Did he say why?" "Why, yes, he did." "He said he didn't believe anyone" "Could be that passionate about septic tanks." "He sensed a certain falseness in my enthusiasm." "Thank you." "Thank you, ken." "Our final candidate" "For school historian is brick heck." "Brick?" "brick?" " How's his speech?" " I don't know." "I didn't write it." "What?" "Hi." "I'm brick heck," "Or, as most of you know me, "nerd."" "I've spent a lot of time locked in lockers" "Here at orson elementary," "And that's given me a lot of time to..." "Think." "You may think I'm odd, and maybe I am." "Sure, I'm the kid who makes you late for recess" "Because we have to walk in a group," "Sure, I talk in a scottish accent sometimes." "don't knock it 'til you've tried it!" "but aren't I exactly what you want" "For your school historian?" "Someone who has no social connections whatsoever?" "Someone who will take pictures of you" "Doing fun things I have no desire to be a part of." "but the main reason you should vote for me" "Is because I suck at basketball..." "And if I'm not elected, I will try out for the team." "Do you really want that on your conscience?" "I don't think so." "I was so worried about trying to save brick," "But he saved us." "He took a day that could've been a real lousy one" "And turned it into one of our best." "like I said, some days really surprise you." "I won!" "You're kidding?" "Wow, brick!" "I'm so happy for you!" "Mom, could I see you in the kitchen for a sec?" "I can't believe he won." "I have tried out for a million things," "And I have never gotten anything." "It's just not fair." "I know it seens that way now," "But you we right there on the back of his poster," "Pushing him..." "From behind." "Uh, so in a way, it's your victory, too." "Well, I'm just worried about him." "If he got the first thing he ted out for," "How is he ever gonna grow as a person?" "Actually I feel sorry for him." "We all do, honey." "How about that brother of yours, huh?" "Nailed it on his first try." "God, I'm proud of that kid." "I haven't felt like this since axl went to regionals." "I have character." "Hey, I made dinner." "Whatever." "Okay, what's this about?" "Did you get suspended?" "Did you crash your car?" "No, I got paid, and I wanted to treat." "God!" "You're welcome." "Thanks, buddy." "12,000 more dinners and we're even." "So mike picked himself up" "And got right back into the game." "Honey, have you seen wh..." "I'm on an interview." "Besides, we weren't that worried" "That he didn't have a job yet..." "Oops." "I just remembered I'm supposed to take a picture" "Of every kid in student council by tomorrow." "Because, suddenly, I had two." "Hi." "Can I take a picture of, um..." "Tommy?"