"I'd like to say that in the beginning I was easier, but must be told I was as bigger pain then as I turn out to be later." "But I'm getting ahead of myself." "Right now the unbreakable bond between a mother and daughter was about to be born" "So just listen and watch and pay attention." "Look, look..." "Hey baby..." "Gosh, she is beautiful!" "She's changed our lives forever." "...If you only know..." "Mom and dad had waited a long time for a kid." "They tried everything so you can only imagine how many hopes and dreams fully pinned on me, their first born." "Even though I was a part of the plant." " Honey!" " What?" "Our kid, Jane, she's not make any noises." "She's fairly asleep." "Just let her was..." "Robert, you gotta calm down" "No no no..." "I'm gonna check on her." "It turns out long to have a baby." "I'm not gonna let her suffocated." "You are insane!" "Ok fine..." "I'm coming." "What are you doing?" "I don't want to her turning red." "That was some of old moment for me." "Yes, I do too, remember it." "Baby is no way more stuff they goes on than you think." "And from that moment on I feel like the spot light was on me, which I've never get used to it." "Turn that light off!" "Sorry, sorry..." "To make it through year one is quite an accomplishment although no one ever gives you a boy for it, they really should." "And another thing I learned that year is that if parents could crazy glues to them, they would." "Sweetheart" "My mother was pregnant and ready to pop again." "Then I stupidly thought that when Brad was born he'd take some of the pressure off me" "Boy, was I wrong." "This was also the goo-goo ga-ga period." "It's a little doll." "So let's jump a head, shall we?" "I wish our parents were here to see this." "Both mom and dad's parents were dead." "I missed not having great parents." "They missed not having parents more." "How long are we gonna sit here?" "A long time." "My mother knew that some day she was going after to let me go round free little one" "But she didn't want to be on this day or another day soon." "So began the parents witness protection programme." "Honey, she's got to go to school and I got to go to work" "So either we do it as a family or I take it myself." "How important is kindergarten anyway..." "I can't remember it." "And you?" "It's not the point." "What is the point?" "The point is...we can't protect her forever." "Why not?" "It's not healthy" "It's healthy that you are not protecting." "Honey, she's...gotta be around kids." "She has to start developing social skills." " Why?" " Oh...this is nuts." "I'm taking her in." "Come on!" "Let's go." "Are you coming?" "No..." "I want her to have the memory of you leaving." "Blackmail is an interesting thing if you use it properly." "My mother had a black belt in it." "My mother wanted to be a dancer." "But she will tell you about that later." "Let's just say her expectations were way too high." "They hide it so tightly that you could almost hear the escape from my tiny little bodies." "You are wonderful." "Brilliant." "Is she brilliant?" "Moving on." "Hey, baby...how you feeling?" "Come on, sweetie." "Here, drink this." "Come on, make you feel better." "Promise." "My parents love me more than life itself." "But it was my mother who truly would've cut off her right arm had I asked her to." "Not quite sure why" "But you get the picture." "Let's get to the good stuff." "Let's get to where my life really started, ok?" "It's a very important day." "This is one thing suddenly begin to fall into place." "Our little girl...all grown up." "First day of high school." "Jenny, all the world is at your feet." "Dad..." "Mom..." "I gotta go." "Just thought your father and me share this moment with you." "All right." "But any more moments in, your little girl's gonna be late for her first day to school." "It's not a good way for me to start my wonder years, is it?" " Get out the car." " Hold it." "Hold it." " You forget it..." " Come on... come on..." "From now on, I'm walking to school by myself." " Got it?" " Yeah we got it." "I don't think so." "I'm Ms. Walcott and I will be your English teacher through your tortured first year of high school and I guarantee that you'll make it through the experience alive" "Now, I'm pretty easy to get along with as long as you follow a few of my simple rules" "One, if you show me respect, I will show it to you and two, if you have any questions, ask me and three, if you're feeling overwhelmed and need somebody to talk to, you can talk to me." "I know it's hard to believe but I'm not so old that I can relate to what you might be going through." "So, let's hit the book, shall we?" "I want you to turn to page 424 in Latin language..." "The beauty of reading is that it's personal, it's your interpretation." "It's what you think, it's what you feel, it's what you see and that's what makes it so magical." "And I hope that if you learn nothing else from me" "I set you learn to love words." "They will save you someday..." "Trust me on that." "Have a great lunch!" "Jane, over here!" "I can't believe you are not in our class." "Who do you get?" "Ms. Walcott." "She's cool, though." "She is my guidance counsellor too." "You luck just never ends." "We gotta bone head Mr. Speavek" "That's the new boy." "Oh, is he a hottie or what?" "Oh my god!" "Jane, he smiled at you!" "Why did he smile at you, why not at me?" "Competition is an ugly quality." "When I can honestly say it was not a problem for me." "Although I have many other problems, that was not one of them." "Hi, I'm Ned." "Elizabeth, Betsy, Claire and Jane." "Nice meeting you." "Jane's got a boyfriend, Jane's got a boyfriend!" "Leave me alone, I'm not interested." "You are idiot then." "He was positively dreary." " So?" " So don't be retarded." "He is like the cutest guy I've ever seen here except for Todd Burkin, captain all the football team who I'm going after studying today." "But back to you, we need to jump start your hormones." "You're a way of high." "And that's where the fingerpointing begin." "Brad, stop it." "I'm doing homework." "So?" "Mom!" "What is it honey?" "I was in here first and I need to do my homework." " Brad, turn the Nintendo off." " Why?" " Your sister's studying." " She always gets her way." "You go wash and up for dinner." "Should I been a girl, then you'll be nicer to me." "Goodness..." "You'd been a lovely girl." "Jane!" "As you can tell, I didn't much care for my brother" "I don't even know why, but I think it's mandatory." "Jenny, be nice to your brother!" "Why?" "Lost about your homework?" "Yeah, it's Maths." "Sorry, can't help you there." "Well, how do you get through in school?" "I didn't." "What were you good at?" "Mmmm..." "English..." "Recess..." "You are smarter than I was in your age..." "You do fine." "I think not." "What do you say Saturday...the two of us just the girls, do little shopping, go to movies" "Just ciao..." "Is not the phrase, just ciao?" "No..." "It's hang... oh, hang..." "What do you say?" "I will say you are the bomb." "Oh, I'm the bomb." "Oh, I am the bomb." "Great!" "And at that time, I meant it with all of my little heart." "So, how do you like high school?" "It's ok." "Compare to what?" "Surgery?" "Bob, you just find it thrilling because you don't have to go through it again." "If you back to go back that far, if you could really remember." "It was pretty rough, you know, new kids, new teachers." "Don't know where to go, do questions." "Brad, dinner!" "Sweetheart, we have to start planning your sweet sixteen party" "Why?" "It's months away!" "You never start too early planning really important events." "I really don't wanna a party." "What?" "Everybody wants a sweet sixteen party!" "Everyone but me." "I don't know what teenage girl especially doesn't wanna have a sweet sixteen party." "You know, it's what every kids should have." "Wait a second, who are you?" "That Janice I know all these years never did anything that was expected ever?" "Yeah, what happen to the hell was society girl." "We all used to know in love." "She became my mother" "A mother?" "Jane found out?" "Woo.." "Ouch!" "That is cold" "But accurate..." "How do you do in that Maths test?" "Hum..." "I think I will pick out a C." "I'm so proud of you !" "You're the only member of this family hasn't flunk maths." "Thanks." "So any cute boys in this school?" "No, I just started going there." "It's alright." "Do you have a boyfriend right away in high school?" "Yeah." "When did you first have sex?" "Excuse me?" "I know you know the answer." "Yes, I do." "I'm just trying to remember it." "I was 21" "Such a liar." "Yes, I am." "Did you always wanna kids?" "Far back?" "I can't remember" "Why you stick with dancing?" "I wasn't really good at it..." "Then I tried to be a writer, I really had passion for it." "But I really had passion for is being a mother." "That's job in the world." "I'm kinda glad you are good at anything" "Do me a favour, next Maths test, just pick out a B." "I'll try..." "Thank you very much!" "Your reading assignment is going to be crime and punishment." "I'm kidding!" "Ok" "Sorry, I'm late." "Paper work took longer than I planned for." "That's ok." "Just take a seat in the back." "So as we are saying, we are gonna find something exciting for you to read." "Hi, I'm Taylor" "Hi, I'm Jane" "Hi Jane!" "She was different, smarter, wiser..." "Maybe it was just because she wasn't from here." "But maybe it was just her..." "I don't know but I'm gonna go with the last one and I should know because Taylor would end up changing my life." "Hi!" "I didn't mean to scare you." "You didn't." "I'm a little behind on what book, we need on some of the assignments." "Do you think you could fill me in?" "Sure" "Ok" "You're my saviour." "No, you wouldn't go that far." "Hi, what are you doing?" "Oh, this is Taylor, she just transferred here" "So I just help her catch up on her assignments." "This is Elizabeth, Bessy and Claire." "Hi" "Going to a movie tonight, wanna come?" "Oh I can't." "I have to baby-sit my brother" "See you tomorrow then." "Hey, what it be ok if I came over tonight?" "We can go over this stuff." "Yeah, around 8 o'clock?" "Sure" "Excuse me, is the bulter night off?" "Answer the door." " Hey." " Hi, you two look nice." "Thank you" "You guys double-dating?" "I am not his type, wrong hype" "Hahaha, funny." "Hi, Brad." "What is this, Halloween?" "Oh, I haven't tell you mom there is a new girl at school coming over so that I can help her catch up on class." "Hello." "Hi, I'm Taylor." "Hi, Taylor, I'm Janice, Jane's mother." "This is Jimmy and Beth." "This is Taylor." " Hi." " Hi, Taylor." "And the one on the couch in a coma... staring at the screen is Brad." "Brad!" "Roberts, this is Taylor." "This is Jane's friend and gonna do dome homework together." "Great." "Hi, Taylor." "So Taylor you from around out here." "Janice, we do not have time." "Yeah, right, we have a minute." "What do your parents do?" "My parents were divorced when I was 6 and I live with my mom, she works full time for the phone company." "Do you have brothers?" "Mom..." "Jane, it's ok." "I can take it." "So anybody else have any questions?" "Yeah, how many pets?" "Funny, really funny..." "Our number will be on the edge of refrige if you need us." "Just in case." "Bye sweetie." "Bye Brad, not too late." "Brad, turn it off." "I have company." "Who cares?" "Go play your computer 'coz next time I won't aim so high." "Sorry, I think he is adopted." "Yeah, must be rough..." "But even have a jerk as a younger brother is better than I don't have one at all." "You go to high school full of fear and excitement so many emotions that your body can barely handle all the things rising through it" "Then it gets worse just when you thought it couldn't get any more complicated" "Why wasn't I like my friends?" "Why wasn't I like everyone else?" "Why couldn't I just like a boy named Ned?" "I was in trouble." "Big, big trouble." "I had a crush on a girl." "Hey, Jane!" "Oh hey, you know Taylor right?" "Yeah." "Hi, how're things?" "Good." "All right, see you later." "Boy, does he have a crush on you?" "No, he doesn't." "Yes, he does." "I don't blame him." "Did anyone have trouble with "Wuthering heights"?" "Kate?" "I thought it was hard to read 'coz it was so sad" "Anyone else?" "Grant?" "I thought it was too much about love and should have more story..." "Jane?" "I think all the greatest stories ever written are about love no matter what plot they are rapt in..." "Jane's right, love is complicated and with that sadness is great beauty." "But how about next time," "I'll give you something a little more fun to read" "Jane, what are you doing here?" "Well, you haven't been in school and I called a couple of times..." "I was worried." "I want to come by to see if you are ok." "Are you ok?" "Yeah, I'm fine." "I just can't come to school for a while" "Taylor?" "Taylor, where are you?" "You don't come in right now, you're going be so sorry." "You hear me?" "I'm your mother for god's sake..." "Look, you shouldn't have called." "Ok, I'll call you when I can." "Taylor!" "At that moment, I thank god for my mother." "Maybe the reason Taylor seems so much more grown-up than the rest of us was because she was forced to grow up faster than the rest of us." "Hey" "Hey" "Hummm, I was wonder if maybe we can get together sometime, movie or something." "Why couldn't I just say yes?" "My life would've been so much easier." "I like you, Ned, but..." "I don't really wanna a boyfriend right now." "That's ok." "How about friend?" "Ok" "Hi, Jane." "Why aren't you talking?" "What could I possibly have to say to you?" "Jane, what's the matter with you?" "Nothing" "Mush pork." "Wanna pass the salt?" "Something is matter with you 'coz you've been snapping everybody lately." "I told you nothing is wrong." "I wish I could've told her that I had so many feelings running through me, things I didn't even understand." "But I couldn't tell her." "I didn't even know how to put it into words." " Can I be excused?" " No, stay and finish your dinner." "I'm not hungry." "You can go Jane." "You're excused." "If I say one thing don't undercut me and say another." "Why do you always have to have the last word?" "I told." "Come in." "I probably should've let you just go to your room." "But I got upset." "You haven't been yourself lately..." "I worry about you." "I know you do." "It's just growing pains." "You know you can tell me anything." "You may find it's difficult to believe but I actually went through this myself once." "I'm your mother, I'm your friend, I just wanna help you." "It's ok." "Don't worry." "Your friend Taylor's here." "You want for company?" "Yeah" "You would've been blind not to see me light up at Taylor's name." "Thank god parents don't have a clue sometimes." "If kids were drunk or stoned and fell over in front of them they'd convince themselves that was an inner-ear problem." "Hey" "Hey" "Are you ok?" "No" "I know my mom's having a rough time taking care of me and making ends meet but it never gets any better." "She blames me for the divorce." "When she looks at me she sees him" "and she goes crazy..." "I..." "I could take the hitting if I just knew that someday it might stop." "You'll be ok." "Did this make me gay?" "No" "It's just an innocent crush phase." "At least that's what I kept telling myself." "But I also know that it was the first moment in my life that I ever felt connected to someone." "What do you say pick you up after school?" "we go somewhere..." "Like where?" "I don't know." "Anywhere you want." "I can't." "I have plans with Taylor." "Don't get me wrong, I really like Taylor..." "But what happen to Elizabeth, Besty and Claire." "You haven't even seen them anymore." "They are still my friends." "I just... have a new one." "I knew I was hurting my old friends but they will never gonna get along with Taylor." "I had to choose that with the feelings I had for her." "She is bond to win." "I'm really glad I moved here." "I'm too." "Do you think Taylor's far much mature for her age?" "No, not really." "Mmmm, I think Jane's spending too much time with her." "It's not healthy." "Why, they are friends." "She has no seeing her other friends..." "dating, almost 16." "We talk about it some other time?" "She should be going out with boys." "She should be giving us heart attack right now." "Yeah, well." "You are not gonna win me over your side." "I'm not." "What?" "'coz I preferred Jane never date a boy as long as she lived." "You just..." "You know what a boy want." "Who was your name again?" "Finals are just around the corner." "If you need help studying, just ask." "I'll stay late and help you." "So, just let me know ok?" "I love you too." "It didn't matter how much they like Ms. Walcott" "Kids are like pets and dogs." "When they hear the bell, they gotta go." "So my mom is out of town tonight, you wanna come over?" "Sure." "It would be nice if you have told me before I made dinner that you would be home for it." "What's the big deal?" "What's the big deal?" "The cook day for the family which you are a part of." "You cook every night..." "Like I said, what's the big whoop?" "Excuse me, what's the big whoop?" "You just watch your tone with me, young lady." "Boy, you are turning into such a smart ass." "You are never like this when you around your other friends." "What?" "You wanna blame this on Taylor?" "You know you can stand is that I'd rather be with her... than with you." "What was I doing there?" "I still have time to leave." "She will never know." "I could have said food poisoning or cramps That's a good one...cramps." "Who was I kidding?" "I wanna to be there, ready or not." "Are you sure you wanna do this?" "No" "Do you want me to stop?" "Tell me to stop..." "No" "I was so terrified that I thought I have a heart attack..." "I wanted her to stop..." "No I didn't..." "Yes I did..." "No I didn't..." "It's hard enough having sex for the first time with anyone but when you do with a girl... you're just asking for it" "Hey" "Are you OK?" "No" "I think what happened was a mistake and that should not happen" "Why?" "I don't know, because it isn't normal?" "So what's normal?" "I guess... going out with boys?" "And that if you go out with a girl you might be gay, which I don't think I am..." "OK." "First of all it doesn't make you gay." "And if you were, what's the big deal?" "Everything" "Fine." "Go back to your boring little friends then." "Are you ok?" "No." "Could you take me home?" "I don't feel good." "Yeah." "Sure." "Own life or her own friends just don't want to be around her mother anymore." "Of course she doesn't want to be around you" "I mean, she's a teenager do u blame her?" "Thank you for those kind words." "Jennis, none of us wanted to be around our mother when we were teenager" "This is different" " How?" " I don't know" "I just wish I still have a baby" "Why?" "You thought she needed you that is sick." "I mean you should be thrill, but she is a person with her own ideas and dreams and polls." "Oh I am not" "Oh look at the bright side, you still have brad to suffocate" "He is a boy" "He won't need his mother until he gets his first apartment and need someone to decorate it for him." "You can laugh all you want but she is hurting and I can't help her." "She won't talk to me." "Maybe she needs to sort out things herself, and then she'll talk to you." "Yeah just give her some time" "I mean and take comfort in the fact that you are the millions of mothers to go through the exact same thing this week and thank God you two enjoy these lunches." "Check" "Hi" "Could we talk?" "About what?" "About us." "I got scared Taylor, I'm sorry." " I'd like another chance." " There are no us Jane." "I want to be with people who are sure they want to be with me." "Come on Jane, come with me, ok?" " Whatever it is Jane, it will be ok." " No it won't." "You just got to pull yourself together." "I can't." "In a little while, you'll feel better with whatever it is upsetting you." "You'll see, things will change." "I don't want to feel better." "And when something's happened it doesn't change." "You wanna talk about it?" "Fine, you wanna know what I am upset about?" "I slept with someone for the first time." "That can be traumatic for everyone." "No I think it is more traumatic for me." "We broke up already." "It's that what you wanted to do?" "No" "But that's what I did because I'm a coward." "No you're not." "In our first sexual experience we sometimes invest ourselves wisely and sometimes foolishly and it doesn't matter which because in the end the investment is the same" "but if you want to be with them you gotta tell them that." "I did." "They'd moved on." "But if you don't try again you will never forgive yourself." "My advice to you is... write them a letter and then tell them why you did what you did and how you really feel." "Honey you have to eat." "I'm not hungry." "I know I know I know I sound like a broken record but..." "I'm just trying to help." "Can you tell me what's going on?" "I just want to be alone." "Please..." "Okay" "Taylor my life changed the moment I met you..." "Only I was too stupid to see it." "Actually I was scared and I'm sorry for that." "You took my breath away and that frightened me." "I'm not frightened anymore and I'd like another chance." "Hey Jane" "Hey" "What's going on?" "Nothing" "What happened to your friend Taylor?" "I haven't seen you with her lately." "She isn't around." "Does she have a new friend?" "I gotta go." "I wanted to like them again but boy, they made it hard." "Well, is everyone gotta behave themselves?" "I am not sure about her, though." "Don't your lord Brad, it's really a bad idea." "You want to live for your fifteenth birthday, don't you?" "Bye though." "Bye kids." "What?" " Hi" " Hi" "I've got your letter." "Can we talk privately?" "Yeah" "No I should have known this gotta be hard for you." "For anyone... and I am sorry I took it so personally." "I was hurt." "but when I got you letter, it was just...beautiful." "I thought you were dating anyone else." "There is never anyone else." "Whose little brother who's in the same classes our ex-friend Jane's little brother knows the most disgusting thing ever about Jane." "Tell, tell!" "Someone saw Jane and Taylor kissing." "Shut up!" "I swear." "I'll get it." "Hello" "Yes this is she..." "What?" "Who is this?" "Who is this?" "But...this is some kind of sick joke..." "Where did you..." "Who is this?" "Where did you hear such a thing?" "Hello?" "When I said it was a phase, it wasn't." "I was gay, with or without Taylor." "I knew it deep down for a long time." "But what my mother didn't know is that I was exactly who I was meant to be." "Whether she liked it or not." "What kind of person would do such a thing?" "It's probably just a kid make a phone call." "No no no no no this is not what our kids slander as what it is." "Calm down, it just gossip." "There is nothing to it." " Why would anyone say such a thing?" " I don't know" "Why would everyone called but total stranger say "Oh your sixteen year old child is a lesbian"." "Oh, people are so sick." "Maybe...hum..." "Maybe...she was learning how to kiss." "What?" "Girls do that, don't they?" "They practise maybe is that she was doing." "We should ask her." "Why should we obsess her with this advice?" "We have to protect her." "Whoever called us... might start calling her friends." "Come in." " Hi" " Hi" "Honey, we need to talk." "Yes" "We got a phone call..." "A very disturbing phone call..." "And..." "We know this isn't true, but..." "we thought we should talk to you about it... because..." "We thought we should warn you" "Warn me about what?" "What?" "We don't know who called, honey, but..." "They said that...the..." "You were a lesbian." "They said someone had seen you kissing Taylor..." "We know if it is just a gossip." "you can tell from the way she said that what she thought was out of the question" "I was frozen with fear, I wanted so badly to tell the truth but I was so afraid of losing my parents." "I couldn't speak." "Is it possible... that you kissed Taylor, that...you were... practising with her?" "Yeah...that's what we were doing." "It won't happen again" "Oh...well..." "We didn't mean to upset you, honey, but... there are some nasty people in this world." "Don't worry about it, baby." "We love you." "Good night, sweetie." "Good night." "I used the word "coward" before but I never really understood what it was meant until that moment." "I was ashamed about my feelings because it was someone else might think" "I made myself sick" "Come on in baby." "You don't look so good." "Ok...tell me what's going on?" "My mom got this anonymous phone call saying he saw me kissing a girl" "And I told her it wasn't true." "Okay, you lost me." "Sounds like you have no problem." "I lied to her." "I was kissing a girl, and slept with a girl, but the way...she was talking about..." "I know if I told her the truth." "She'd hate me." "I've gone gay Jimmy." "It's ok." "Sometimes it is easier not to tell the truth..." "Don't be so hard on yourself." "I don't know what to do." "You're the only gay person I've ever known." "Don't worry." "It happens to all of us." "First times someone despise or call us a name." "It's just a "don't ask-don't tell" moment." "What if my parents find out?" "If people find out?" "They are all gonna hate me." "Honey, I am black and I am a gay." "They hate me way more than they'll hate you." "What did you do?" "You get to fix skin?" "I have once since I was a baby." "Cause I had to have it." "I don't take personally anymore." "Because I know it is based on ignorance and fear and it ain't about me, really, it's about them." "I don't wanna hurt my mother." "But I don't know how long I can keep this as a secret." "You know when time is right." "Maybe we'll be ok." "and you've been friends with mother for a long time and she accepted you but you're her baby." "Mother and daughter are about this complicated as it gets..." "Jimmy please don't tell my mother anything I've told you!" "Not a word." "I was so glad Jimmy was in the world." "Its ok Jane, keep walking." " Hey lesbos!" " Punk!" "We were about to run at children's hour?" "Now stop all this nonsense all of you." "Open your books..." "So what do you guys doing this weekend?" "I am going Jeff's parents, play metrogolf." "Jane, what about you?" " I am seeing Taylor." " I prefer you don't see that girl." "She is not a girl mom." "She is a dyke!" " Jane!" " Cut it off!" "Look at you are!" "Go to your own room!" "Why?" "He started it!" "Why isn't it going to his room?" "Cause I am not a dyke!" " Go to your room!" " Go to your room, right now!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "You just can't attack your brother like that!" "You can't just do that!" "It was now and never, and I would prefer never..." "It was out of control and I have to something." "So I took the deepest breath I've never taken in my entire life." "You are younger than you are!" "And next time you say something off just let it roll off your back." "This was just gossip." "It not just gossip!" "I lied to the two of you because I was afraid" "afraid that you'll hate me, afraid that you'll throw me out." "I did kiss Taylor and I think I am in love with her." "But..." "She is a girl." " You don't know what're you saying." " Yes, I do." "But it's ok, because..." "Taylor is a really good person." "That's not the point." "Why is it wrong for me to care about someone and for someone to care about me?" "Because it's not right!" "You... you don't have a clue." "If you are saying you're a gay..." "You have no comprehension of what that means!" "I don't care anymore!" "It's what I feel..." "It's what you feel?" "How do you know what you feel?" "You're 16-year-old kid." "Look, it's just a phase, it's gonna stop right here." "It's not just phase!" "I am gay!" "You could see it through my eyes to have someone you are care about, care about you and they make you feel not so alone in this world" "This really matter who the person is?" "Of course it matters." "Why?" "Why?" "It is since when you hate gay people." "Jimmy has been your friend forever, he is a gay." "He is not my daughter!" "I used to be at emergency rooms skin needs, breathless, broken hearts, not this this wasn't a part of my plan." "I know, it wasn't a part my plan neither." "What the horrible thing to do is I am her mother?" "No you are a great mother." "It's not about you." "We have to do something Bobbie?" "The world is not tore that place." "Her life can be reverted." "I know.." "She is not a baby anymore." "But she is... she is my baby... she is my child..." "You know she is my child too." "Listen, I think we need to stay calm here." "Or you say is it ok for her to be gay?" "No, it's not what I am saying." "Don't you think I wanna walk down the isle." "To have grandchildren, just like you do?" "I don't want my child to be gay." "But she is our daughter and we have to find a way to help her through this." "I am not going to help her through this." "I am not going to help her become a lesbian." "I didn't I ask you to do that!" "It's not what I am saying." "But we can't just pretend this haven't been happening." "We can't turn her back on her." "or this will tear us apart." "What we gonna do?" "Jane told she is gay last night." "I know." "You know?" "How do you know?" "She came by the other day and told me." "She told you?" "Why didn't she tell me?" "But you're my friend." "You should tell me." "She was terrified of losing you." "Terrified you'll hate her." "She needs to tell when she was ready." "I have to do something." "Like what?" "You're a friend with me." "You love me and I am a gay." "Why can't you do that with Jane?" "Because I don't want her have a hard life like you have." "It's not your place to judge my life!" "or anyone else's..." "Jimmy!" "Oh come on." "I am not blind." "I have been there" "I have seen that, how cruel people have been to you, have told to you." "Been you're only concern she has been not becoming one of those people." "This is my life, this is who I am, and Jane should be able to be who she is too even if this is not who you want her to be." "No!" "As long as she is my responsibility" "I have to save her from all of these." "Jennis, don't be like this or you'll regret till the day you die." "Then that would be my choice." "Jane it really would be a better use of time together if you said something during our sessions." "Like what?" "Like why do you think you're here?" "Because my mother said I have to come, and do as shorter as I can." "Sharing with you wasn't part of the deal." "Why are your so mad at your mother?" "Oh, I don't know..." "Because she is a bigot." "That's good that's a start." "Really?" "Where are you now?" "I have been wasting time then." "Therapy hasn't changed a thing." "I try to keep her away from Taylor but I can lock her up and Jimmy is no help." "He's on Jane's line, of course." "What?" "Nothing" "What Beth?" "I don't know." "You have always been so liberal-minded..." "I think you are overreacting." "It is probably just a phase she is going through." "Oh, I pray it is." "What if it isn't?" "What do I do then?" "Then it isn't when you accept." "She is your child Jennis, whatever happens you accept." "What if I can't." "Then you wouldn't be a very good mother." "Excuse me?" "This is coming from someone who has absolutely no Relationship, who is capable of loving them?" "How nice must be you have judge from far." "You asked for my opinion so don't attack me to defend Jane." "Maybe you should take a look why this bothers you so much." "I am sorry, you know absolutely nothing about this." "You know why?" "Why don't you just take this condescending crap and pad it somewhere else." "So, how's therapy?" "Sucks." "Do you have to go again?" "Yeah." "My mother thinks it'll convert me." "Heh." "Believe me, if that were true, a lot of queers would flock to therapists." "I mean..." "life would be easier if we were straight." "But who wants easy, right?" "Who wants to fit into this mold?" "We're trailblazers unique and to ourselves." "We're special." "Yeah." "We're special alright." "We can't even go anywhere." "Nowhere is safe." "Yes we can." "Can you get out the house Friday night?" "I will even if I have to throw myself out of my window." "They can be this." "People in this town isn't humanely possible." "We are everywhere in every cities." "We just wanna hide against to these people." " Where have you been?" "It's 4 in the morning." "I was out." "Let's just leave it at that." "No, we won't leave it at that." "You're grounded for a month." "We'll take you to school, we will pick you up from school." "We'll set you up to alone just if we have to." "That's what you ever do us to." "You can't do that." " Oh yes we can." " Now go to your room." "Acting out is a strange thing." "No one ever wins..." "But you don't know that when you are doing it.." "Jane, we have to talk about this." "What's there to talk about?" "My mom can't look at me, you are disappointed at me, what else is to talk about?" "Fine, then we talk about it." "You have to understand." "This is not just normal growing up pains." "This is a decision could form the rest of your life." "That's why your mother and I so upset about this." "I understand that..." "But this isn't easy for me either." "And parents are supposed to love their kids no matter what." "Jane, I will always love you, no matter what." "That doesn't feel that way to me." " Sorry." " It's ok." "I just want to tell you that I am still your friend." "No matter who you sleep with." "I can't believe she'll ground you for a whole month." "Isn't therapy enough for the punishment?" "Only if you have to go." "This isn't gonna work Jane." "What?" "Us" "I mean, I really like you, but..." "This is getting out of control." "It's not worthy." "But why should we let another people to decide what's the best for us?" "Jane, I have more relationships than you and I guess I just don't get attached." "It's easy for me to have them." "As it's not to have them." "But I love you." "No, you don't." "You barely know me." "You just think you do because I'm your first." "You will get over it" "You will get over me..." "Just better this way." "What happened?" "I'm gay and everyone hates me." "They don't hates you, they are kids." "What did they do?" "Did they say something to you?" "Taylor just broke up with me." "She never really care about me at the first place." "That's not true!" "Of course, she did!" "No, she didn't." "She just flings to her." "She just cares herself." "I'm sorry..." "I just wanna die..." "You don't understand." "Yes, I do." "First girl I dated dump me, too." "What did you say?" "I swear I thought I just heard you say you dated a girl." "I did." "No way!" "Yes." "I'm still dating girls, Jane..." "I'm gay." "Oh my god!" "But nobody knows so I'd appreciate it if u don't tell anyone." "I swear." "I know it seems like the end of the world but it's not." "When I was 16" "I fell madly in love." "Her name is Barbara and I thought" "I would spend all my rest life with her." "But we didn't even know what a life was then..." "Has been with anyone we haven't done anything." "How would we know anything?" "And when she dump me to date the football star." "I thought I die, too." "What did you do?" "I didn't die but it took me some time to get over her." "Eventually I did and we became friends." "We still are." "When did u know..." "I mean really know that you were gay?" "That wasn't a phase?" "Almost from the start." "It's not that I didn't like man..." "It's just I felt connected to women in a different kind of way." "A way that I've never felt with a man even though I try over and over again to please my mother to please other people to be like them." "but I wasn't like them." "I was me." "How long did u take to get over Barbara?" "A couple of years." "I'm kidding!" "But it will take some time." "An open heart is easily wounded and it's hard to repair." "I have to pick up Brad at Jeff's after dinner." "I will go." "Ok" "Jane, what's the matter?" "Besides the fact that I live with stubborns?" "You'll be happy to know that Taylor broke with me today because of you." "Honey, it'll be ok..." "Maybe they'll put an end to this nonsense." "It isn't nonsense to me." "Thanks God, Janice." "She's hurting." "Can't you be a mother for a minute?" "Don't concern yourself..." "What I should be?" "It's all about you, you know?" "no, it isn't maybe you should concern yourself with the fact that your daughter could ruin her life." "I'll tell u what I'm concerned about." "I'm concerned about the fact that my daughter gonna broke her heart." "That's what I'm concerned about." "I wasn't sorry about how I felt but believe it or not" "I was sorry about tearing my parents apart." "If one don't just concerning remember their first love maybe they would not think we are so wrong." "Where you've been?" "Out" "You've been drinking?" "Yes" "What are you thinking about?" "You're ground, again" "Why?" "Because you're 16 years old and as long as you're in this house, you will do what we say or I'll lock you!" "Where's your little girlfriend?" "Just walk away Elisabeth." "Who is gonna make me?" "I will" "That's right, you are a dyke now, ain't you?" "It's nonsense, stop it." "Stop it!" "Whenever say it's the best year of your life, it's a liar." "Hello Mrs Madison." "I'm sorry." "I came over as soon as I could." "I'm glad you are here." "We can't stand any violence around here." "That' why I suspending Jane." "Now I'm sorry." "I understand." "I'm sorry for any trouble that Jane has caused." "You don't have to apologize for me." "Somebody has to." "Come on come on, let's go!" "Come on!" "Let go off me!" "What?" "You gonna hit me, too?" "Hey, lesbo, if you are with me, you needn't be a dyke!" "Right, man." "Why do you care with these?" "You just like them." "Jane!" "Get off me!" "Come on!" "I'm not even gonna ask you to explain what you did, because there is no more explanation." "Jane, you can't resolve things this way." "Why not?" "Elizabeth started it." "She's making fun Taylor of me." "Does u blame her?" "What are you doing isn't normal." "Jimmy is normal?" "Mrs Walcott is normal?" "What did you say?" "Nothing, I accidentally said her name." "I just mean Jimmy." "You said Mrs Walcott is normal." "Is Mrs Walcott gay?" "Jane, is your teacher gay?" "Yes, but it doesn't matter." "Of course it matters!" "She has influence over you." "She's misusing it." "She's the only good thing at that damned school." "Oh I have say about that!" "No please, don't hurt Mrs Walcott!" "Please mom!" "Please don't anything!" "I'm dying!" "Janice, please don't do this!" "No!" "No, please..." "Why she's doing this?" "It's ok." "Janice, come on." "Mrs Walcott?" "Yes" "I'm Janice Taylor, Jane's mother." "It's nice to meet you." "Stay away from my daughter" "Well, that'll be difficult coz I'm a teacher." "You are also gay and you influencing her." "Unless you would like me to go to school board which I perfectly prepare to do." "Just stay away from my daughter." "Jane?" "Your father and I thought we have to do something about your behaviour." "We try to talking to you, punishing you and therapy doesn't work at all." "So..." "We decide we should send you away to a boarding school." "I won't go!" "I like the school I'm in." "It's not your choice." "It's not what we want to do." "Well, I'll run away." "They can't watch me 24 hours a day." "Maybe you prefer our bound." "I don't care..." "Do what you have to do." "Jane!" "Jane!" "let her go." "How do we getta here?" "You know how we gotta here." "no I don't!" "I don't want to send her away." "I'm not gonna let you make this my fault." "Jane, what are you doing here?" "Come in." "Are you ok?" "Lynn?" "What's?" "Honey, this is Jane." "Hi Jane." "I heard a lot about you." "Want tea or something?" "You want some tea?" "no, thanks." "I'm back to sleep." "I must get up early." "Nice to meet u, hang in there." "Come on here, sit down." "what's going on?" "I'm so sorry." "I never meant to hurt you." "Oh sweetie, you didn't." "It's gonna be ok." "It won't be." "My parents are sending me away." "They're kicking me out." "They hate me." "Everybody hates me." "I don't know what to do I have nowhere to go." "I just want to disappear." "I don't want to live anymore." "It's gonna be ok, sweetie." "I swear." "It's gonna be ok..." "I know I'm the last person you expected and the last person that you wanted to see but Jane run away tonight and she came to my house." "Is she there, now?" "Yes" "Would please give us your address to come to get her?" "No, first, you gonna listen what I have to say to you." "And after that you could do whatever you need to do." "I know you think it isn't my place to say anything to you about your daughter." "But someone has to..." "I understand but I also understand Jane's pain." "The pain having people hates you not based on you but based on what I think we have a little control over." "Well, that's where we disagree." "Look, you make your choice, frankly, it's not my business." "I just don't think you should be teaching young girls and supporting alternative lifestyles just because they haven't to be yours." "Don't you understand, Jane?" "And girls like Jane are impressionable." "They look up to their teachers." "They want to be just like them." "Just let me finish what I have to say to you and after that, if you want to go to school board." "So be it." "But in the meantime your child that you give birth to is in a agony and it doesn't need to be." "Jane run away tonight because she thinks that you hate her." "And I know what' that like." "It's awful." "No child should have to go through that." "Jane's a good person." "Being gay not make her a bad one." "She's still the same person that you adore two weeks ago." "I still adore my daughter." "I just want to protect her from people like you." "Jane, let her talk." "Jane's only crying is that she loves differently that you do and you don't have to understand it and even agree with it." "But unless you try to you gonna lose her... forever." "I appreciate your concern, but I think we know our daughter better than you do." "Really?" "Did you know your daughter came to my house tonight?" "Thinking suicide is one of her options." "Can I speak to Jane alone please?" "Sure, I'll be right there." "Hi" "Mrs Walcott came over tonight and told us something" "I never considered before." "She said if I continue to behave the way I behaved" "then I will lose you permanently." "I'm your mother and I love you" "and I don't wanna lose you." "When you first told us" "I thought" "I've done wrong as a mother and" "I did think what would people say what'll I tell my friends." "But my first reaction was I didn't want your life to be any hard as it has to be." "The world is not a nice place" "and I guess I had the same dream as every mother has with their little girl." "Let you meet a good man." "You fall in love." "You get married." "Have children..." "Those are your dreams" "I know that." "Can I ask you a question?" "Yeah" "When did first feel that you were a..." "A lesbian?" "It's ok, you can say it without becoming one." "OH god, you are exhausting something." "Sorry" "I guess" "I always know that I was different." "I didn't feel a part of things." "I'm not sure when it became clear." "Probably last year..." "But I guess it always be inside of me." "What' the hardest part of it?" "The people you care about will hate you." "I never gonna hate you." "I don't think I'm gonna change." "I know you want me to, so..." "What do we do?" "I don't know..." "Just try harder." "I will if you will." "I don't know if I'll ever gonna accept it." "But frankly..." "I don't know if I can understand what are you doing, but..." "Take it day by day." "An hour ago I didn't think I had a mother." "But now I think I'm maybe meeting her for the very first time." "Thanks for not telling anyone about Mrs Walcott." "You are welcome." "What?" "Because you're still having a hard time accepting this" "I'd like you to come to a meeting with me." "It's for parents with gay kids." "It's called PFLAG." "What kind of name with that?" "It stands for parents, friends, and family of lesbians and gays." "Ah..." "What will we do there?" "Come on!" "Coming, don't pull me!" "Hi, welcome to PFLAG!" "I'm Dorothy, and my son is gay." "This is my mother, Janice and her daughter is a lesbian." "That would be me." "It's hard to say it at first being a presenter to be saying to everyone." "Oh really?" "When will that be?" "First I thought it was me." "Then I thought...what people will think about me?" "What a kind of a horrible mother am I?" "Then when" "I almost lost my child because of my ignorance." "I found her again, and who she was" "was exactly who she always meant to be." "Good child." "Kind child." "my..." "My child, excuse me..." "When I came to realize was that none of this," "has anything to do with us." "It's their lives" "We are their parents, need to let them live their lives." "Is they safe at?" "Not as we safe at." "Thank you." "Ring a bell?" "I got it." "Oh, thanks!" "thank u!" "Oh, don't even think about that." "He's my friend." "Nothing more, nothing less." "She's still a dyke, mom." "And she's still your sister, so watch your mouth!" "Just go to hell!" "May I catch that, please?" "Thank you." "I'm really proud of you!" "don't be." "Have I ever say anything to act as you" "as if you...understand or accept something." "When you really don't" "unless what I'm doing acting as if" "because it still breaks my heart." " Did you want to say something?" " No." "Thanks" "But you can't protect me forever." "No, but when I can I hope you allow me" "what happens to you." "Someone call me a fag head." "It won't saying, I'm not a fag." "I beat the crap out in many ways." "At that moment if I had been straight, I'd marry the man right in there." "You are ok about Taylor moving back to east?" "Yeah, thanks." "Is this great?" "Dad ,don't think I'll suddenly like sports because I'm gay!" "How about fishing?" "Sports go to out of question!" "So what do lesbian like to do?" "Same things like you to do." "Can we go home now?" "Yeah, sure." "Hi!" "Hi!" "I'd like to see you guys." "Who the hell think this is a fun?" "Lose a tiny piece, you barely seemly as much as fun and u still blow your brain out." " Can I go Jess's house?" " Go, go!" "Nice, Lord." "You guys have fun?" "Yeah, tell her that time about us..." "Can I talk to you guys for a minute?" "Sure" "I appreciate all that what you are doing to try to be a part of my life and to show me you love me even though I'm gay." "But you don't need to try acquitting so hard." " Sorry." " Sorry." "Hi, Janice, glad you here." "How's Jane?" "She's going , thank you." "And you?" "I'm trying." "My name is Lorraine and my daughter is a lesbian..." "I'm susan, and my son is gay..." "My name is Janice, and..." "It's ok, let's start to meeting now." "What do you want?" "I'm not gonna hurt you." "And what do you want?" "I bought you this." "Why'd you give me a present?" "I never be nice in my whole life." "I know, I never been nice to you either so I thought I'll try." "I won't tell people you were gay." "I know..." " It's a trick ,isn't it?" " No." "I don't get it." "There's a thing killing with kindness and in a few years, you'll know what I means." "Why can't I eat at Jess's house?" "Because we have more family dinners" " Why?" " Because your blood is punishment." "Because we are family, son." "That's in the eye to beholder." "If you didn't accept you'll be hold to your room." "How's PFLAG meeting going ,Janice?" "Good..." "Good..." "You have these gay pride parade next week." " I don't mind, it's feel a trip." " Great, great!" "Good for you." "Well I don't think I'll be going, I mean, I'm getting better but I don't think I can shout from the roof tops yet." "One step forward, one step backwards..." "Jane!" "Can I come in?" "Look, I'm doing my best I can, sometimes stinks, but I'll get better, I promise..." "When?" "going to meetings, acknowledging you a gay," "I can do it pretty well but it's all on private, it's still safe." "You don't really accept me unless you do it out in the open." "I'm sorry..." "I can't" "going as fast as I can." "We stand united, as Robinson sisters, offer all human beings deserved equality, rights, dignity." "The very things that other people taken for granted are given to them..." "Under the law, all men and women were created equal in the eyes of my God." "A god that is inclusive, not exclusive in a world we envision, not in a world of offences and walls." "I think that keeps people out because they are different but in a world that loves," "we ask for the world for we expected from it, not what if it gives us if it's wrong?" "Those are the things we are still fighting for." "We demonstrate, protest." "Hi, Jane!" "You shouldn't be there, someone might see you." "This time we did." "Sorry, your mom isn't here." "She'll come around." "What if she doesn't?" "Janice will come on stage to speak." "She's not coming..." "Oh, I'm sorry, Jane." "It's ok." "It took me 3 or 4 rounds before I came but you are here, it's a start." "We'll see u guys later." "[ladies and gentlemen, the PFLAG moms]" "Hi, I'm Dorothy, and my son is gay." "I'm Madoon, my daughter is lesbian," "I love her, and proud to be her mom." "I'm Carol, my daughter is lesbian..." "I'm Danse, and my son is gay..." "I'm Rick, my daughter is lesbian, I'm very proud of her." "The amazing thing about change is that everyone can do it, even the people you least expect it from." "My mother was the finally exactly the person she meant to be." "I was so proud of how well she has grown up." "This is dedicated to Matthew Shepard..." "and to all of the men  women who love differently."