"La team Aeon vous présente:" "Family Guy Saison 7 Episode 5:" "The Man with Two Brians (V.O)" "Ont participé à l'épisode:" "Arthuruss, Weasel Busters et babybello" "We now return to Jackass." "Hello, my name is Johnny Knoxville and I'm gonna take a shot gun blast to the face." "Okay, ready?" "Oh, God!" "These guys are hilarious, they do so much funny stuff." "Hey, you know what?" "We should try some of that stuff here, at home." "I don't know, Peter." "That skull and crossbones warning before the show was pretty clear about not doing that." "Cleveland, shut up." "I saw something on TV that I want to imitate." "Peter, what are you...?" "What you boys are doing up there?" "Get out of the roof!" "Go back in the house, Lois." "We're being jackass." "OK, ready?" "Alright, we're rolling." "I'm Peter Griffin and this is shopping caught  roof." "Roof... shopping caught  guys." "Okay, go." " Oh my God." " Oh my God, are you okay?" "I don't know..." "What does it look like?" "What do I do?" "What is that?" "I feel something." "It's your spine, dude." "It got like you hanged up a bunch of notches" "I'm scared." "Oh God!" "This is get fixed with ice or heat." "Ice now, heat later." "I'm Glenn Quagmire." "And this is Bee Bush." "Alright, what did you do to yourself?" "I just covered my entire private area with honey." "Now we're just waiting for the bees." "Alright, here they come." "Okay, they're on here." "It's just..." "Nobody move." "Alright?" "Nobody do nothing." "Don't wanna make them made." "Stop it!" "Knock if off!" "Yeah, we don't want the bees to get mad." " I hate you bees, I hate you bees." " Stop it!" " Stop, knock it off, I'm serious." " I hate you bees." "That's enough." "Get them off." "Put them back to the hive." "Alright, enough is enough." "Cleveland, open the hive." "Alright, bring them over here." "Oh boy!" "What the fuck?" "!" "Why would you do that?" "Hey, you guys." "Lois said it's time for dinner." "Peter, this isn't safe at all." "Shut up, Brian, just keep filming." "I'm Peter Griffin and I'm the greatest American hero." "My special power is being somehow memorable after a very short run on TV." "Believe it or not, I'm walking on air" "I never thought I could feel so free" "Flying away on a wing and a prayer" "Who could it be?" "Believe it or not, it's just..." "Get some, Peter!" "Nice job on that ramp, Joe." "Ifthere's something I know, it's ramps." "Wait a minute guys, I think he's really hurt." "Help!" "I think my arm is broken." "My back!" "..." "I can't move." "I thought..." "I was gonna die." "That's good." "You know, Peter, I did expect this kind of behavior from you but you have no business endangering Brian like that." " Thank you." " I mean he jumped to that lack to save your life." "And he's 8 years old, Peter. 8!" "That 56 in human years." "Okay Lois." "Why do you think he almost drowned?" "He's old Peter." "Plus he drinks and he smokes all the time." "So take that 56 and make it 79 at least." "Why are you making such a big deal out of it?" "I was just a little tired." "That's how it begins, Brian." "Then next thing you know, I'm making Peter dig a hole in the yard and you're in a pillow case." "Peter, what's wrong?" "You've been so quiet all day." "It's just what you said the other day." "I'm starting to think you might be right." "Brian's getting old." "He's not the dog he used to be and I'll have to get used to it." "Just like I get used to my acrylic nails." "Scanlon, Weinstock and Riesman." "Hey, Laronda." "No, I got 4 people on hold but I can talk." "Good morning, everybody." "Brian, I've something to say." "I'm sorry I've been so preocupate with your age." "Look, Peter don't worry, just let forget about it." "Fantastic." "And to help us forget about it family, I'd like to introduce" "New Brian." "Hey, gang." "Who's leg do I have to hump to get a hug around here?" "I like him." " You got a new dog?" " Yes, sir." "But..." "I'm the dog." "Now that you getting older, New Brian is here to take some of the load off." "Can he do tricks?" "Oh, you bet." "He's trained to fetch, roll over and make you feel really good about yourself." "Wow, Meg and Chris." "I can't decide which one of your hates i like better." "I can't believe you got a new dog." "What about me?" "You still my buddy." "New Brian is just a new friend for the family." "Trust me, you guys are gonna get along better than Abraham Lincoln and his neighbor." "Hey, Dale." "I noticed your lands are getting a little high." "Yeah, I used to have a guy for that." "Dick." "Okay, now you've a good one." "My word!" "What a gorgeous way to wake up." "I hope you don't mind," "I checked the time your alarm was set for and I shut it off." "I figured this might be a more gentle way to start off the day." "That is so thoughtful, New Brian." "I'll start up again in 9 minutes." "Hey, Meg, I know how you like to let off steam once in a while." "So i got you a journal." "You got me a journal?" "Actually I got you two of them." "My right ear and my left ear." "Fire away." "Dear diary, today at the school library" "I saw a picture of National Geographic of a woman with nipples that covered almost of her breast too." "And suddenly, I didn't feel so alone." "You know what it sounds like to me?" "Sounds like the woman on that picture was pretty beautiful." "Alright, I see you at dinner." " Think fast!" " Wow, deodorant." " Are you sure I'm old enough?" " I think so." "I'm gonna make you a little less gross every day." "Hey, New Brian." "You have a guitar!" "In fact, I wrote a new song today." "And I want hear what you think of it." "Where did you find the time for that?" "Peter, inspiration doesn't have a schedule." "I don't like fancy learning books" "I don't like apple tarts" "I don't like cosy breakfast knocks" "I don't like modern arts" "Well, I like farts" "Yes, I like farts" "I like long farts, short farts, wet farts, your farts" "I like fart if you got heart" " I've got heart." " Let's hear those farts." "How do I stand?" "Well, Peter, I will help you get your fart to started..." "Hey, Brian, I went out for a run this morning and I found this stick." "I thought you might like it." " Thanks a lot." " And I got you some of this." "I don't smock it myself, but I sure won't judge you" "Gosh, thanks." "Check you later, handsome guy." "You know I wasn't sure about this new dog thing at first but" "I got to tell you, he's a really terrific guy." "You poor damned fool." " What?" " You've no idea what's going on here?" "He's not just a delightful new friend for the family, he's your replacement." "Come on, that's ridiculous." "You're getting old, Brian, and they know it." "You're no longer the cover girl." "Look at Carol Alt, that's..." "You're Carol Alt." "I'm through listening to you." "Fine, think what you want, aging super model Carol Alt." "Carol, come in here." "They're saying your name on the Family Man." " What?" " Huh?" " What?" " I Forget." "And besides, the evidence is all right in front of your nose." "That's hilarious, New Brian." "Now, do your impression of Punky Brewster's father." "Punky." "Oh, Punky." "Oh, Punky." "You have a dog named Brandon." "Hi, I'm Carol Alt for polygrip." "They did it again!" " Who?" " The Family Man." "Is that the one with the fish?" "No, that's American Boy." "Relax, Brian, there's no way they'd replace you." "But it probably couldn't hurt to remind them how much they value you as a family member." "OK, everybody, tonight I got a real treat for you." "We've all seen your compilation video." "Shatner singing "Rocket Man", drunk Orson Welles doing that commercial, Sylvester Stallone in that porno, and Bill Cosby beating up that midget." "Wait, I don't remember that last one." "Oh yes, freaking brutal for no reason." "You know, the poor little guy just sit there eating a snack pack," "Bill Cosby just runs in out of nowhere and just starts whaling on him" "Didn't that guy die?" "No, these are home movies from when I was a puppy." "He died." "Okay look, just watch." "Oh, look at him sleep." "I wonder what is dreaming about." "Shut up, Meg." "Oh, Oh!" "Did you hear that?" " He farted." " Just like in the song." "Oh, what the hell is the matter with you?" "Outside, outside!" "Now!" "Well, I hate to say I told you so but..." "Wait a minute, I love say "I told you so"." "Hey, Stewie Griffin, meet Stewie Griffin." "Nice to meet you, charmed I'm sure, great outfit." "Oh God." "No it is." "So, what is if there's a new dog?" "Lots of families have two dogs." "Hey Brian, I thought maybe we could spend the afternoon together." "Really?" "That'll be great." "Awesome, 'cause I got this new gun..." " Here we go..." " And I thought we could go deep in the woods." "Where no one would ever think to look." " Oh boy..." " And, just shoot it." " Awkward." " You know, like so far in that no one can hear gun fire." " A little on the nose." " Or screaming." " Uh, I don't think so, Peter." "Geez, it's like he thinks I'm gonna shoot him." "He's acted all crazy like Quagmire when he drunk-dials me." "Allo?" "Hey, what are you doing?" "Quagmire, I'm sleeping." "Yeah, I was just out with joe." "What are you doing?" " I just told you." " Oh, that's right," "I just asked that." "I forgot..." "Hey, hey this song makes me think of you, so let... wait, listen to the song." " Isn't that awesome?" " You said you weren't gonna call him." "It's not him, you big bully." "Joe... told me not to call you." "So, so what..." "So what are you doing?" "Everyone, I have an announcement to make." "I've decided I'm leaving." "What?" "Leaving?" "Brian, why?" "Well, you know, I feel like I've sort of run my course here, and you know, besides, there's a all big world out there, and it's time I saw it." "But, Brian, you live here." "This is your home." "I know but I thought about this long and hard..." " Ah-ah, long and hard." "Oh, I'm sorry Brian, please, please continue." "And this is, just something I have to do." "Well, where will you go?" "Well, I haven't decided that yet, but I promess I'll be in touch." " Wait, how is that one dirty?" " It's, uh, I was remenbering long and hard." "Well, if your mind is made up about this, Brian, then," "I wish you the best of luck." "I hope this move won't be a boner for you." " Peter?" " Hm?" " What?" " I was just saying to Brian I hope this move won't be a boner." "I would agree, I hope he'll find what he is looking for." "Okay, well..." "We're gonna miss you, Brian." "Hey, everybody, let's watch this tape." "Okay, now there's the midget just sitting there." "Now watch the left side of the screen." "I'm in a bad mood and I'm gonna take it out on you." "Oh my God, well, he's obviously drunk." "Oh, Oh!" "You're hurting me!" "About which I do not care very much." " Pancake?" " Oh, just a small one, thanks." "My God, these are the best pancakes I've ever had." "I bet Brian would love these pancakes." " I wonder where he is." " He's next door with Cleveland." "I saw him on my morning paper route." "You know, I appreciate you let me be staying with you but" "I'm... perfectly capable of going to the bathroom by myself." "Sorry, but there's a leash law in this neighbourhood and you never know who's watching." "I'm watching you make stool." "Hey, New Brian." "Oh, I see, you having pie." "You know, pie isn't really pie without Cool H-Whip." "Everything's better with Cool H-Whip." " Did you hear what I said?" " Yeah, what about it?" "It doesn't bother you the way I prononce it?" " Cool H-Whip." " No, why would it?" "Cool H-Whip, I'm putting emphasis in the H." "Sound right to me." "Nothing ever bother you, does it?" "No, not really." "I like everything." "God, he's a bigger buzz-kill than Buzz Killington." "Stewie..." "Do you know why W. S. Gilbert was frequently drunk on his Trans-Atlantic crossings?" " No..." " Because..." "He was quartered on the port side." "Now that I've got you." "Let's both revisit the birth of" "The Doyle Carte Opera Company." "Everybody hurts" "Two... three..." "Sometimes." "Okay, New Brian, you're next." "Oh no, oh boy, alright." "Well, I can't do this alone." "Lois, I'm gonna need your help here." "My God, uh-ho, okay." "Rita Coolidge's less-talented sister here." "In what way is that a joke?" "Okay, then you start." "Alright, I don't know, am I blue or am I red?" " You're blue, you're blue." " Okay." "Okay, I'll do it then." "Summer loving had me a blast," "Summer loving happened so fast," "I met a girl, that's you!" ", crazy for me" "I met a boy he's cute as can be" "Summer days drifting away to oh oh the summer nights" "Uh well uh well uh well uh." "Tell me more, tell me more..." "Thanks for letting my stay here, Glenn, I hope I'm not in the way." "No, no, should be fine." "Uh, but..." "listen, Brian," "I'm gonna be bringing a Puertoricain girl over here later, and she's super hot and real nice, but when we she was five years old, her dad run over one of her leg with a van." "And, it's still kind of messed up in a pretty obvious instantly visible way, please don't say anything and, try to make eye contact with her when she wobbles in because I want this to work." "Uh, yeah, sure, no problem." "I'm serious Brian." "That leg is a train wreck." "I mean, she herself is so pretty, but that thing just looks like a string of sausages" " with one empty casing in it." " I get it." "I mean, it's quite a sight, you know?" "When she's not looking, you should take a look at her, but, but good God be discreet." "Yeah, I'll..." "I'll check that out." "Stewie, what are you doing here?" " Brian, you gotta come back." " Why?" "Because..." "New Brian is such a tool." "I mean, he's so damn sweet and saccharine and perfect and he's turning the family into a bunch of douches." "No, big deal, you always told me I was a douche." "Yeah... but you were my douche, Brian." "My douche..." "Come back and be my douche again." "Hi, I'm looking for Glenn." "Oh!" "What happened to your leg?" "!" "Damnit Brian!" "Come back home, Brian." "I tell you what, when this is all over, I'll make you some some pie with a nice dollop of Cool H-Whip." "Here it is again, why you put so much emphasis on the H?" "That's exactly why I miss you Brian." "Forget it, I'm not going back as long as that new dog is there." "Long as he's a part of that family, there's no place for me." "Well, I can't say I blame you." "I hate him as much as you do, Brian." "He's a bad fit." "Like a crocodile at an alligator rally." "Yeah!" "Lurking in the water with our eyes poking out." "Yeah!" "Sneaking up on a crane or an egret and snapping our jaws on it!" "Yeah!" "And sometimes walking on to a dry plain or a dusty field because it's nice to get out of the swamp now and then!" "Yeah!" " What?" " What, what?" "Dry plain, dusty field." "Nice to get out of the swamp." "What a croc!" "And that's where we get the term." "Hey!" "New Brian!" "Bad news, you gotta leave!" "What are you talking about?" "This is my home." "Nobody likes you here, man." "Well, I disagree, I think everybody likes me." "No, we don't!" "We don't like your cooking, you're stupid karaoke nights, and we especially don't like the way you hump that chair in the den." "Well, Ruppert seems to like my humping." " What did you say?" " Ruppert," "I humped him for two hours yesterday." "He just laid there and took it." " Did he?" " Yeah, and now everytime you're sleeping with him." "He's gonna be thinking of me." "And that is why I killed myself, shot myself up and put myself in the garbage." "Wow, he must had some demons." "My God, suicide." "How could we have misjudged him so severely?" "Often time, it's the one who seems the happiest." "Well, the upside is, at least we have our old Brian back." "From now on, buddy, you're the only animal I care about." "Hey everybody!" "I'm Bernie the hampster!" "Would you like to be my friend?" "Oh my God!" "It's okay, Peter." "Yeah, oh my God, oh my God, it's a hampster!" "We'll talk about it, when you want to talk about it." "I don't blame you." "I..." "I don't blame you."