"Our song arrives flowing from the Andes,  like the lava that flows from the highest Andean peaks." "The lava that flows and flows..." "We are the "Andean Lavatory" group." "Before, our song used to be a political song,  before, our songs were inspired by Marx, by Engels..." " By Lenin..." " No, no." "Lenin no." "Why not?" " l dont like his songs." "Lenin wrote songs?" "Lenin and McCartney." "What happened was that changes took place in History;  there were big changes in the East." "East is East, and West is West, and never the Mark Twain shall meet..." "Now that the Berlin Wall has fallen we ask ourselves,  Was it a mistake by the bureaucrats?" "A mistake in the doctrine?" "A mistake of the architects." "And for that reason we now devote ourselves to sing to our dear  Andean land, and to its autochthonous fauna." "And also to the animals of the region." "The llama... altruistic." "The condor... aloof." " The puma... alert." "The chicken..." "...à la king!" "Heh, heh, heh!" "I got it!" "Lenin and McCartney." "But its been over half an hour since..." "Very often my students ask me if the telluric  lnca hermeneutics transposes the peripatetic  lautretics of Aristotelian philosophy  because of the factic iniquity of the non-dogmatic Socratic dialogues... I always tell them no." "No what?" " No, I dont know." "Sorry, may one ask students of what?" " Basketball." "We will now sing you the song of the Indian who returns to his hut." "Its great;" "I already have it on CD." "As we have just returned from France, we will sing you  the didactic version we did there, with the explanation of  some words of our folk vocabulary and simultaneous translation into French." "Beyond the mountains the sun..." "Derriére les montagnes le soleil" " ... has disappeared." " A disparu." "Oh!" "A man walks sadly..." "Un homme marche triste." "Alone along..." "Alain Delon." "Uh, uh, uh." "The Indian is already going home..." " ll retourne chez-lui le..." "mmm..." "ie... - Indian." "Indian, yes, but... whats the word?" "Le... uh... uh... uh..." "The Indian is already going home,  the glorious day has arrived..." "Le jour de glorie c'est arrivé ... along a road close to..." "the snow-clad Andes." "Par un chemin près des Andes..." "Les Andes sont une châine de montagnes très hautes qui va [...] ...à l'étroit de "Ma-ga-ya-néssss" [...] loh, là-là, quelles montagnes!" "Huge eyes, pardon me,..." "Des grandes yeux et "pardes"" " ... tired body dragging..." " Druggé!" " ... his feet, entangled, feel pitifully like cardboard,..." " Pierre Cardin." "... along the Puna he advances silently." "ll va par la Puna..." "La Puna c'est une mesète  de trois-mille mètres d'altitude, placée à côté des Andes,  entre la Bolivie et l'Argentine..." "Voyez;.... ... la Bolivie, I'Argentine and there, wham!" ", la Puna." "As he approaches his hut..." "Près de sa chosse" " ... he raises his voice to the sky..." " Sa voix jusqu'au ciel" " ... his prayer flies on high..." " Sa prié "très en haut"." "... high as a condor in flight." "Comme le vol du cóndor." "Le cóndor,  le grand oisseau de la famille des vulturides, avec son bec  un peu curvée, il mange les plus petits de la région, mange.... ll vole majestueux avec ses ailes très grandes  son crie animaux les" "Graaaaaacckkkk!" "Lord!" "What?" "Lord!" "iMonsieur!" "Lord of the Christians." "Cristian Dior." "Cause her to have waited for me." " Fais qu'elle m'aie attendu lf she hasnt done so,..." " Si elle ne l'a pas fait" " ..." "iii suffer!" "iSoufflé!" "He is about to enter. - ll va entrer" " Will his squaw we waiting for him?" " "Lattend-il sa...?" " Squaw." "Squaw... yes..." "Uh-uh-uh" "No, an Indians wife." "Oh." "He goes in." " ll entre" "Good heavens!" "iMerde!" "She is not alone." "Wow, oh wow!" "She is with her baby, which has just been born:  She is with the fruit of their love!" "Ah, ah, ah..." "Paris!" "The Indian embraces his squaw;  she embraces him in turn;..." " ... the papoose cries in her arms,..." "Waah, waah!" "... of the passing time, it is easy to lose all track." "Toulouse Lautrec." "And here ends this beautiful song of Indian love." "lci c'est finie cette belle chanson d'amour indien." "Already theyre walking happily ..." " lls marchent..." " ... alongside the Andes...." " ..." "Les Andes, la chaine de montagnes...." " ... the Andes of the Puna..." " ..." "la mesète de trois-mille mètres..." " ... d'altitude placée à côté des..." "In the distance  a majestic condor is flying." "Le vol majestueux du cóndor, avec ses ailes.... its a beautiful poem...." " C'est un beau poème de... -... of an Indian,..." " Uh uh uh... - ... the Andes,..." " Andes, la chaine de montagnes... -the Puna,..." " La mesète de trois-mille mètres...." " ... the condor!" " Graaaaaaacckk!" ".." " Stop!" "I cant do it that fast, man!" "We will now recall a famous singer and songwriter:  Manuel Darío, a pop-music idol;  an artist who has sold millions of records,.  who has packed stadiums with his concerts." "We will watch fragments, precisely, of those concerts,  as well as the recording of an interview  in which Manuel Darío describes his life,  with testimonials from people with first-hand knowledge of him." "And we remember him today because, as everybody knows,  this is the time of year of a sad anniversary:  20 years, 20 years already  of the tragic day on which Manuel Darío  began to sing in public." "When I see you..." " ... my heart beats." "when I see you..." " ...my heart beats." "When I dont see you  it also beats." "Thank goodness!" "Thank goodness!" "With this song I won the award of the Cardiology Association!" "I am the one who best knows Manuel Darío;" "I have been his agent." "What most attracts me in his songs is the way he works things out;  works out my percentage." "Its astonishing how successful he is in general, but those who understand him best  are the young, the very young:" "4 to 6 years old." "I was born in a very humble family,  at home we were very poor, and I had to start  working from a very early age;  from that time I already composed small songs  quite wonderful, actually;... one of my first jobs was at a little fruit and vegetable stall," "... and one of my first songs said:... I come back to you, full of despair  pear, check out the pear!" "As I was composing the songs, I sold the merchandise:" "it was pears." "Without you, I know no peace  peas, peas!" "I am wet through from the rain... rain!" "Sometimes I also goofed." "But the truth is that I am what I am... thank you very much -  I am what I am, I have the success I have  thanks to so many people who believed in my talent; for example  at home l had tremendous support from my parents..." "My parents..." "We are the parents of Manuel Darío." "And I am the mother." "No, theres been a small mistake, we are the parents of Manuel Darío  no, the thing is that its dark..." "Lil Joe used to say to me when he was tiny, poor thing, he used to say to me,  well, for me hell always be Lil Joe, right?" ", not "Manuel Darío", as they call him now  he said to me: "Mom, I love to play the guitar," oh!" ",  he spent the whole day practicing,  Oh!" ": "When I grow up I want to be a singer-songwriter," hed say  in those days it was an impossible dream." "Yes, impossible to dream... at home none of us could get any sleep." "You remember, Daddy, when he turned 15?" "Ahhhh!" "You yourself made a present of his first guitar." "Yes!" "I took it from him, and gave it away as a present." "Yes, my parents always backed me all the way." "Mom is the one with the beard." "She calls me Lil Joe because my name is José,  "Manuel Darío" is my stage name." "Manuel Darío:" "like the poet,  the one who wrote Becketts poems:..." ""And I who took her to the river believing she was a maiden,"..." ""To be or not to be, that is the question" ... and so many others that he composed." "There were many people who believed in my talent, like my first teacher,  Miss Cristina, she too believed in me." "Manuel Darío was a very special child;  even when very tiny he stood out from the others,  he was such a dunce." "Miss Cristina... how she understood me, ... she never scolded me for cutting classes,  more than that, she would ASK me to cut classes." "How she wept when I flunked the first grade and had to do it again!" "Oh, yes, poor child, how he suffered,  he could never put it behind him  put first grade behind him." "The first teacher, the first impossible love,  and thats the way it was, she was in love with me,.  despite the difference in our ages..." "I was much older." "And when I was about to move up to the second grade I had to choose:  music, or continuing with my studies." "Music, music!" "Miss Cristina encouraged me to continue with my music  because she believed in my talent." "At the beginning things were very difficult, I went hungry, but  slowly I began to sell some records,  then I sold Daddys radio, the clock  One of my first hits was "That Woman Makes Me Suffer,"  even today some people remember it..." "Oh well, some people bear grudges a long time." "That woman makes me suffer  in front of her  ld like to speak to her and cannot, want to speak to her and cannot, that woman makes me suffer  that woman  is my dentist." "It cant be denied that Manuel Darío knows how to move his audiences,  he is very clear about his goals:" "his sad songs... inspire tears and his happy songs..." "also inspire tears." "At the beginning the critics didnt understand me, but  with passing time I have achieved greater acceptance; to seek no further, the critic for the "Show-Business Gazette"  praised the quality and the quantity of my output." "Says the critic: "ln his output, quantity does not undercut  quality, quite the contrary:" "it undercuts it." "His working capacity is awesome, he toils constantly,  as if he couldnt cease composing,  and one asks oneself:" "couldnt he cease composing?"" "I love you more than my life  you are my life  but if you are my life  and I love you more than my life... it means  that I love you more than I love you." "Thats some philosophical song, huh?" "I dont understand it!" "With the next song I conquered the U.S. market." "I fell in love in Ohio,  I greeted her, "Oh, hi, oh!"" "Shalalala-la-la" "Beautiful girl from Texas,... the sight of you wallops me in the plexus." "Shalalala-la-la" "But the woman from Nevada..." " Shoorooahh  is like no udda." "Shalalala." "The woman from Connecticut..." " Shoorooahh  wears the cutest petticoat." "Shalalala." "and the woman from Miami Beach..." " No, no, no!" " ... also!" "Yes, yes, of course, I remember that young man very well." "He came to see me at my consulting room,  lm a psychiatrist,  and I found him to be in very bad shape, very disturbed." "And just at the moment of greatest success, when everything was going well for me,  I had conquered the U.S.,  I had also conquered North America  I began to feel bad, worse every day,  something terrible, I couldnt eat, I couldnt sleep, I felt empty inside:  thats because I didnt eat." "I was afraid I was going crazy,... of having asthma, or a split personality or something like that  but Dr. Pérez Osorio put my mind entirely at rest." "Split personality?" "No, no way..." "he had no personality to split." "You see, in my treatments, the first stage consists of very simple exercises  to leave the mind entirely blank and not think about anything." "One can tell he didnt find me doing so badly, because he said that with me  that first stage would not be necessary." "This is because my theory holds that the majority of people  employ only half of their mental power, in other words,  they waste 50 percent of their mental power." "He told me I was an exceptional case... I wasted 100 percent!" "Therefore, having obtained a favorable diagnosis from Dr. Pérez Osorio  I took my songs to the great academician,  professor and lecturer López Jaime." "Oppenheimer!" "Yes, please, my name ist Franz Oppenheimer,  I am full professor of music,  of harmony, composition and counterpoinkt;  ive received awards for symphonic music,  and in opera and ballet prizes  or surprises, its the same..." "ho ho ho ho..." "Ho ho ho... ho ho ho..." "Ho ho ho... of course, because, I vill explain  prizes and sur..." "ha ha ha." "Manuel Darío as a poet is very  how says one?" "... very appealing..." "no: very appalling,  but his music ist not common  its exclusi... er, no:" "its excruciating!" "Professor López Jaime admitted that my songs reach the soul,  that my concerts must not be thought about, they must be felt." "Yes indeed, I went to one of his concerts... and truly, I felt... sorry." "I confesses to him that I played and composed by ear; but well, many  inspired popular composers cannot write music." "At least they can write their name!" "As I was singing my songs to him I realized  that the professor was becoming visibly touched;  I even believe I saw two tears trying to escape his eyes." "Well, er,  tears escape, no... lt was I who wanted to escape!" "Finally I asked him: professor, what do you think of me as a singer and songwriter?" "... and he firmly advised me to keep on singing." "Ah, yes, I said to him: you must sing..." "where nobody hears you." "You must sing for yourself;  because, more than as a songwriter, I see you as  a "selfwriter."" "Well, the time has come to say goodbye, I want to thank you  for the homage you have paid to me, the warmth and understanding  of you all towards me, really lm very touched;  I really love you, I say it truly,  I feel it not only as a person, but as a human being;  what I feel is summed up in one word: immense thanks  two immense thanks." "Before concluding, ld like to introduce my musicians:  Carlos Núñez, ld like you to meet Jorge Maronna;  Jorge Maronna, may I introduce Carlos López Puccio;  Carlos Núnez, Carlos López Puccio." "Its the first time they play together." "I will therefore end, as I was saying, with an absolute first: my most recent song which I hope will establish a "millstone" in my career as singer and songwriter;" "... perhaps a somewhat puerile one, to enter fully into a "maturile" stage,  with greater boldness in the subject matter of my songs,  because I believe that even love finds itself compromised  these days by the problems that beset modern man." "Theres so much pain the world,  war, death, destruction,  shalalala" "... and you dont want to talk, shalalala.,  with me you dont want to shalala,... you dont want to shalala,  with me." "Po... po... poverty here,  mi... mi... misery there,  wi... wi... with my song I condemn them,  shalalala." "lm the biggest dreamer, I am, shalala  in the midst of a world thats stupid;" "shalalala ... lm the biggest, I am, shalalala  in a world thats stupid, shalalala;... I am the biggest, I am, shalalala,..." " ... stuuuupid!" " Stupid." "As is well known, we have as a visitor among us,... the prestigious Indian guru  Swami Sali Maharishi Baba, a spiritual leader  with millions of followers around the world." "Some of his acolytes are very famous people, but  the majority are acolytes anonymous." "According to his doctrine, the Essential Being is reborn in successive reincarnations." "Sali Maharishi Baba was born in 1932,  in 1812, in 1 41 7, in 1 103,  etc., etc." "In his diverse reincarnations he was Maharaja of Calcutta,  Bengal tiger,  Ceylon chimpanzee,  Doberman flea,  and Koch bacillus,  in that order." "On a certain occasion,  through a mistake attributable to the cosmic bureaucracy,  he was born several years before dying in his previous life,  and for a time he was two people at once:  Erik, an old Viking pirate, and Aeneas, a young Athenian  who took up embroidery." "They were very strange years for both:  while the young embroiderer turned into a tough and manly being,  the old pirate spent the happiest years of his life  surrounded by the affection of his sailors." "Maharishi Baba is the author of several widely known books  on matters of doctrine, such as for example  his commentaries on the sacred books,  the famous "The Rig Veda in the Age  of the Oil Rig",  and his celebrated  "Dangers of the Business of Baptism in the Waters of the Ganges,  Gan - jeez, its Risky!"" "Now, the illustrious master is here to offer us his teachings;  we get ready to receive him." "Taj Mahal..." "New Delhi..." "Calcutta..." "Samarkand..." "Some Are Kinda what?" "Here comes our guru;  here comes the great master Swami Sali Maharishi Baba;  the master Sali Sali, not Sally" " Baba;  at last we shall know the Truth." "Welcome, dear master,  we await you with anxiety;" "... we receive you with gratitude;  we greet you with respect;  we look at you with curiousness;  cmon, siddown!" "Hello!" " Hello!" " Hello!" "Hello." "lve come before you  because I am the pristine personal aura of divinity." "Laura who?" "Laura Christina!" "Before beginning this lesson we shall cast away every kind of desire;  I will teach you to reduce and even eliminate  for example, sexual desire." "No, master, dont bother!" "No, no, no." "We will cast away the image of lustful women,  we will separate them from our mind." "Separata, Separata,  Ejecti Lahore!" "Our first subject for today will be the asanas;  the asanas are the yogis positions." "The asanas fulfill a purification role,  a role of mental hygiene,  in other words, they are like the roll used to clean up." "If you practice the asanas, when you get to be my age  you too will have an enviable physique, because  the asanas help to free us from the pain of our body." "Asana, asana,  kiss your cares away." "Master, tell us about some of your reincarnations." "Ah, yes!" "In one reincarnation I was Rex." "A Latin king!" " No, no, a police dog." "And now let us feel the light within us." "Our truth is the light and we shall never be extinguished,  because we are the light!" "Our truth... lt doesnt matter, it doesnt matter, darkness,  too, is an attribute of energy, a power burst." " Master." " What?" " its a power CUT." "Well, if we have been awarded darkness, let us enjoy  this darkness as something much awaited." "At last the darkness came!" "At last the shadows came!" "Ah, at last the light is back." "Well, now let us sing and dance." "Let us sing, because we are in harmony  let us dance, because we have been illuminated  let us jump, because we are within the energy,  let us sit down, because lm very tired." "Well, all right, in that case, to conclude, I shall answer  an individual question from each of you." "Lets see, you start." " Yes." "Master, I would like to know what is the origin of the Universe." "Ah, look, within each of us resides the Universe  and all its beings, you understand?" "You dont understand?" "Look:  when you die, you can be reincarnated in any living being,  for example an ass, you understand now?" "I think youve begun to be reincarnated ahead of time..." "Lets see, YOU ask." "Master, my son is about to go to University, but  he doesnt know if he wants to be a doctor, or a lawyer..." " ... he doesnt know what he wants to be..." "He doesnt know what he wants to be?" "Listen:" "... is the Being better in the fact of being?" "No." "is "to be" to lie embedded in the fact of being?" "The best must be in fact to lie in bed with Bea." "Lets see, the third one, what did you wish to ask?" "No, nothing, thanks." "Well, in that case thatll be all for today,  you continue prac... prac  practicing the asanas, and remember  that if you practice the asanas, when you get to be my age  you too will have an enviable physique." "How old are you?" "Thirty-five." "And remember that every being thinks it is all; but nothing is all:  everything is just nothing at all;  the bird is nothing at all, because it flies;  the giraffe is everything, because it is tall." "Thanks for everything!" "Not at all." "The next item in this concert  is a very festive, very animated Latin American rhythm,  which is sung and is, above all, danced  very widespread, especially in tropical countries like  Colombia, Venezuela, the Dominican Republic;  in sum, we are referring, no less, than to the famous merengue." "How are you?" " The merengue is a dance..." "Doctor." "How are you?" "... so we can share this brief lecture." "Oh, definitely." "And this ceases to be a monologue, to turn into  biology." "We were talking about the merengue..." "The meringue is a delicious dessert, a small pastry or shell... with a scooped out or hollowed out shape ... which is made by beating egg whites until stiff,  mixing in syrup and baking the mix for 20 minutes." "No, doctor..." "Once its..." "lm afraid  there has been a small misunderstanding,  I was referring to merengue as a dance." "The whites are beaten until the mix is stiff, then the syrup is added..." " No..." " ... and its baked for 20 minutes." " ... dance, dance." "Well, one can dance, while doing the whippage." " No,  allow me." "Therefore I propose we make a break with all this..." "You cant break it, it crumbles, its a dry dessert." "No;" "I mean lets start with History." "You know that in  Greek mythology, there are the muses that inspire the Arts;  for example the muse of the theater, Thalia;  the muse of music, Euterpe  well... there are others, theres more..." "... the muse of getaways  "vamoose";... but, given the nature of the lecture that gathers us in this hall,...." " ..." "let us mention that the muse of dance is Terpsichore." " Who?" "Doctor, dont tell me you dont know Terpsichore." "Not by name, perhaps if I see her..." "Esther Piscore?" "Who is she?" "No, I dont know her,  no, no, ld remember, I have a good memory for..." "Esther Piscore, whats she like, is she nice?" "Well, bah, not that I care, is she a bit of all right?" "With that name shed hardly go unnoticed." "Esther Piscore, ha, ha!" "," " ... "Here is Esther Piscore"." "I didnt say Esther." " Esther Piscore." "I didnt say Esther." "Are you suffering from paresthesia?" " Ahhh!" " Esther Piscore said... I didnt say Esther." "What dyou mean, you didnt?" "I said "she is" " Terpsichore"." " Ahhhhh!" "Ahhhh, of course!" "ES-ther Piscore, ES-ther Piscore..." "That is the Greek pronunciation." "Your "ES-thers," we call "Es-THERS," straight off." "If one comes walking down the street and you call her "ES-ther,"... she keeps on walking and it doesnt register;" "on the other hand, if you say to her, "Es-THER,"  she turns around and says "Yes, you were calling me?",..." ""Yes, I am Daniel," and there starts out, "pleased to meet you," and there starts out what could turn into... well, as long as her name is Esther,  if shes called Alice she keeps going, it doesnt register either,  however much you say Esther to her.  once, one was coming, I said, "Esther"  she turned around and said, "My name is José Luis,"  and nothing started out because I dont go for that sort, that sort of  neither that guy nor any other guy, I mean, it isnt my thing,  my parents brought me up in a certain manner and I have seen my way to  responding to that education, honoring, honoring it, let us say,  I was educated in the freedom to be able to think whatever I feel like,  but yes, things were done in a certain manner;  it was also necessary to respect others, because  each person could do what he or she wanted with her life, right?" "But there was nothing doing, no, I mean, the family.... ... your aunt wasnt there, MY aunt sure was there, right?" "... ... and it was she who let us have it when we behaved, get it?" "In other words,  but there was always a reason to be tolerant, for example  one did have to respect others for what the others might want to be, one mustnt be sectarian, pluralism, otherness  and shall we say freedom of expression, even,  were the basis of... in my family, at least, I dont know in yours, right?" "If José Luis wants to, thats his business, lm not going to stand in his way;  well, for sure lm not going to stand in his way, thats for sure,  let him look after his own..." "let him do his own thing, I mean;  and if you want to go with José Luis, go, huh?" "You too." "You want to?" "lm not going to introduce him to you, because what do I..." "Piscore is a Greek surname?" "Piscore, ES-ther Piscore, ah,  who married García, who was the Greek guy." "Esther Piscore García, wife of the Greek." "The teacher called her by her Christian or Buddhist name: "Esther, darling, come here!"; and she didn't go because... she was always getting into a discussion she was a "discobolus," thats the Greek word." "ES-ther, the discobolus, married to García;  and she had been drafted, she served... in the army..." ""ES-ther Piscore García, present!" "Hit the deck, Piscore!" "Come here!" ln the..." "Relax, doctor  you have been thinking along, shall we say.  meandering roads..." "Let us say, you have been reasoning... outside the pot." "Its much simpler than that;  watch with what natural almost indifference I state it:  the muse of dance is Terpsichore;" "as if I couldnt care less." "ES-ther Piscore, I couldnt care less either." " Esther Piscore, is correct." " TERPSlCHORE!" " ESTHER PlSCORE!" " ino, TERPSlCHORE!" " Esther Piscis, Esther Piscis..." " What Piscis?" "No, I dont know if shes a Pisces, I dont know when she was born." "Esthesis  she has cystitis, if she is a Pisces she could have cystitis." "Shes Piscis thesis is Ester Piscis sit." "Its thesis tis tipis  tisipidipis isis  disis isipisistisis  disis piscis disis  disis disis disis." "This is the pencil;  this is the pencil of Esther Piscore." "This is not the pencil of Louis Jefferson." "is this pencil of Louis Jefferson?" "No, you know why?" ",.  because this pencil is of Esther Piscore,  this pencil is of Esther Piscore, this pencil." "is this pencil of Esther Piscore?" "No, this is the pencil of Esther Piscore." "Wait a moment, wait a moment." "Where is Esther Piscore just now?" "is she cleaning the blackboard?" "is she clapping hands at the "público"?" "is she looking for a bus at the avenue?" "Look at the feets." "Avenue!" "No, she went to the bathroom!" "My dear friend, my dear friend..." "you are... arrre  "equivocated."" "And I believe I know the reason for your mistake;  the thing is that the word Terpsichore has  a "p" and after it an "s," what we might call a "diphthong of consonants," or, "diphthongonant," according to some authors;" "... yes, some already call it a "consonanthong,"  thats their business;  but let us say its a simple juxtaposition of consonants,  and I believe that thats where the difficulty resides." "Tell me, do you normally have problems with the juxtaposition?" "I havent received any complaints, thus far." "Watch how I pronounce it:" "Ter-psichore:  the upper lip above, the lower lip below." "In the traditional position." "Doctor, I suggest we practice it." "Here?" "Yes, why not?" "Lets see, go  "ps"." " Here?" " Yes." " Oh!" "The consonanthong!" " Ps!" "Ps!" "Ps!" " Youre doing wonderfully, very good." "Did you gentlemen call?" "Ps, ps, ps, ps." " Er... yes... what is there to eat today?" "Very good  today we have, if the gentlemen so please,  they could begin..." "well... for starters, we have,  for starters, the chef recommends, we have... er  at a restaurant as good as this one, naturally, everything very fresh  we have... er... for starters..." "and for the second course, too." " Well, imagine that when..." "Whats the matter with you?" "I have it at the tip of my tongue, and no matter how hard..." " ... that... no..." "lm trying Well, man, why dont you try to remember?" "I do try, but..." "You have the menu, all written down in words, so read them." "Of course." ""Dear nephew,  here we are all well and missing you;  also missing the roofing target, because weve run out of tiles;  next month well finish the roofing." "Yours, your aunt Caroline." Well, thats all it says." "Thank you very much, you may go, you have a B." "I..." "I was wholly unable to understand you, dear colleague,  because you pronounce it incorrectly;  the muse of dance is Terpsichores..." "How can she be "Terpsichores," if theres only one of her?" "Or do your friends say to you, "Hello, how are doing, Alberts?" "Theres only one of her:" "Terpsichore." "My friends call me Louis." "There is also only one Aeschylus,  Archimedes, Euripides,  "Platos"; meatballs;  platos of meatballs..." "Excuse me, doctor, but I detect in you  an uncontainable and irrepressible tendency and/or compulsion  to refer everything to issues of food intake, and... or... er hey, hey gastronomy." "From your words its clear as black and white..." "No, you beat the white of the eggs until stiff,..." "... you mix in the syrup and..." "The dance, the dance, dear friend,  one of mankinds most genuine expressions, which  is manifested through jumps, swiveling, contortions, beating of hands..." "No, the egg whites are beaten until stiff, then..." "No, no!" "HANDS are beaten, havent you seen that the dancers  mark the beat by beating their hands?" "For example..." "Did you gentlemen call?" "Er, yes, what is there to eat today?" "Well, today we have tongue vinaigrette, stuffed peppers,  octopus, Galician style, and hake." "Zowie..." " No, weve run out of zowie, youll have to choose something from the menu." "How is the hake prepared?" "The hake can be grilled, or you can refrain from asking it any questions." "Sorry, after the stuffed peppers and the tongue vinaigrette, what comes next?" "Some heartburn." "Youre doing quite a bit better." "Today you are all right, so that  today we wont apply electroshock;... in any case, carry on with the psycho-active drugs, and see us on Monday." "The egg whites are beaten until stiff...." " ... and the syrup is mixed in..." " Tropical dances have reached their peak...." " and the mix is baked about 20 minutes, - ... in Western ballrooms..." " until we have finished this little pastry - ... for example we have the cha cha, as meringue; we divide it into two halves:" " ... which actually with minor deformations..." " the lower half, or lower hemimeringue..." " bit we had two origins for tropical dances:" " we can cover with a bit of marmalade..." " those of Afro-American origin and also those" " or whipped cream, and the upper half,..." " in Andalusia, such as the tango, the rumba..." " or ut supra hemimeringue, we decorate with - the merengue, the joropo, the cumbia, even." "...some small fruit, for example a watermelon, on the upper part..." "A watermelon?" "A small one, about 18 pounds." "And doesnt it squash the meringue?" ", sorry for pointing it out..." "Yes, sometimes" "the meringue is squashed, because if you" " Did you gentlemen call?" "Yes." "Whats for dessert today?" "For dessert we have... meringue." "For dessert we have meringue!" "For dessert we have meringue!" "For dessert we have meringue!" "By Johann Sebastian Mastropiero, his meringue entitled..." ""The Brother Wants to Dance"!" "One, two, three, four!" "The weekend is here, its time to have fun the brother is getting ready, the brother wants to dance." "He can no longer hold back, he can no longer stop himself the brother wants to shake, the brother wants to dance." " Hey!" "What does the brother want?" " The brother wants to dance." "Keteketay!" "What does the brother want?" " The brother wants to dance." "But theres a small problem..." "The brother wants to dance." "A small problem, the brother cant dance!" "The brother thinks about the dance, doesnt know what to do at last the brother takes the plunge, decides to go learn." "The brother goes to the dance academy to learn how to dance the teacher shows him the steps he must perform:" "One step forward, a short step back, one step forward, a short step back." "One step to the side, one step to the other one step to the side, one step to the other." "Jumpin to the right, jumpin to the left jumping to the right, jumpin to the left." "Up with the hands," " Up with the hands, moving the waist - moving the waist moving the hips - moving the hips you turn around." "you turn around." "The hands The hands - the legs the legs the arms the arms - hips - hips" "The hands The hands - the legs the legs the arms the arms - hips - hips" "The hands ... the legs..." "the arms ... hips." "The brother is very happy" " The hands, the legs, the arms, hips." "he dances all day," " The hands, the legs, the arms, hips." "and dances all night" " The hands, the legs, the arms, hips." "and he dances happily." "The hands, the legs, the arms, hips." "Dancing like this can be harmful to you health." "The brother dances and dances, loves to dance" "The brother dances and dances, without a rest." "What did the teacher say?" " To move the lil hands" "What did the teacher say?" " To move the hips" "What did the teacher say?" "To move the sternocleidomastoid!" "See how nicely the brother dances, he thinks only of dancing" "See how nicely the brother dances, without a stop." "Fifth position!" "Pas de bourrée!" "Une pirouette!" "Une grande jetée!" "The brother then suspects this may not be up his alley that at the dance academy hes gone to what they teach is ballet." "And I bet nobody guesses where the brother now dances with joy:" "hes having a brilliant career, hes a dancer at the Bolshoi." "Luisa?" "Luisa?" "Luisa?" "Luisa, come here!" "Luisa?" "Luis Alberto, lm calling you!" "The leg... the leg..." "No, no, what are you doing?" "Come, come,  come, the leg... take it northward." "Ouch, but what happened?" " l had a dreadful accident." "But when?" "Just now, my leg got stuck upwards like this." "I was doing "The Death of the Goose," and I tumbled over." "Cow leather, hand sown, made in Argentina..." "But, what!" "?" "Have you gone crazy?" "Play cool." "According to some authors, the origins of religious music  hark back to a very remote past;" "... according to others, they delve back into prehistory." "The question that emerges is:" "do they hark, or do they delve?" "Primitive fishermen already intoned fervent  liturgical hymns to obtain a good catch,  a practice that fell into disuse because these chants  flattered the gods, but scared away the fish." "For this reason, the fishermen of the village of Rocca Povera,  in southern Italy, pray to St. lchthycola of the Fish,  also called St. lchthycola of the Sea, and pray to him for  a good catch, at the saints hermitage, located high in the hills,..." "... where the fish cant hear them." "The village of Rocca Povera depends for its subsistence  on its impoverished fishery and on a few crops; in other words  its economy is typical fishy farming." "The village of Rocca Povera is poor even in mystical legends:  never a miracle, never an image that sheds tears;  not only has nobody ever had a visitation of the Virgin,  but the village church has suffered the theft of several saints,  a chalice and two reliquaries." "But the fishermen dont lose their faith;  once again, like every year on his feast day,  they march in procession guided by the parish priest  to the hermitage of St. lchthycola of the Fish, to request that,  this time, indeed, he will listen to their prayers." "Dear brethren, let us all go to St. lchthycolas hermitage  to ask for a good catch, lets go!" "Actually, Father, ever since weve prayed to St. lchthycola,  were fishing less and less." "Before, we did have good fishing around here,  with the saint we had before, but... he was transferred." "Its because St. lchthycola knows that among you are heretics,  perjurers, apostates  and that upsets him." "Father, if he has an upset "apostate," why doesnt he have an operation?" "Oh, we are almost there!" "Come, come!" "St. lchthycola of the Sea, St. lchthycola of the Fish we want to ask you" "that you give us a good catch;" "unlike other times dont fail us again." "With fervor and with faith we come to pray to you but you, too, show some will." "St. lchthycola of the Sea, St. lchthycola of the Fish, dont fail us again." "Aaaaaaahhhhh!" "Ow, what happened?" " l was bitten by the caterpillar." "Are you all right now?" " Yes, this hand is now all... ah!" "Aaaaaaahhhhhh!" "Aaaaaaahhhhhh!" "Aaaaaaahhhhhh!" "Why are YOU screaming?" "Out of solidarity." "Ah!" "Silence, my sons, silence." "Remember, we have come on the saints feast day  to pray to the saint on the saints feast day." "St. lchthycola of the Fish on your feast day we implore you;" "grant our requests grant our prayers on your day" "happy birthday to you!" "Brethren,  every time there are fewer fish." "And whose fault is it?" "The fault is yours  because you live in iniquity." "No, father, we live in ichthyquity." "Let us pray." "St. lchthycola of the Fish, have pity on these poor sinners." "St. lchthycola of the Fish, have pity on these poor sinners." "We confess all our shortcomings." "We are short of clothes, short of food, short of money." "We retract the offenses made." "We retract the offenses made." "To our parents, to our brothers." "To our parents, to our brothers:" "we retract." "To children, to spouses." " To children, to spouses: we retract." "To uncles, to cousins," " To uncles, to cous cousins, brothers in law, fathers in law, sons in law, daughters in law." "Yes, we retract." "(One can tell its a family portract.)" "St. lchthycola of the Fish, forgive these sinners,  iniquitous, impious, perjurers,  perverse, despicable, degenerates." "Dont you believe him, it isnt as bad as all that." "Let us sing." "St. lchthycola of the Fish give us abundant fish or we shall fall into the temptation of the flesh" "and the curse of cholesterol." "Praised be the flounder;" "and the cod... caught;" "be keen on sardine;" "do not forsake hake." "Let us intone magnificent psalms,  salmons!" "And praised be tuna." "Praised be tuna, tuna, tuna tuna... tonight." "And now, I will read the life of St. lchthycola." "All of it, Father?" "lchthycola Fiorentini was an honest merchant  who lived in Tuscany in the  eleventh century,  who discovered his religious vocation the day he almost died  choking on a sea-bream bone;  his selfless wife saved his life by extracting the bone;  but those instants of panic made  a tremendous impression on him;  lchthycola had never seen death from so close up  or his wife either." "He then decided to take the habit,  particularly the habit of not eating fish," "... and he began to preach;  to preach against consuming any kind of fish." "In 161 4 he was canonized as St. lchthycola of the Sea,  protector of fish,  in charge of keeping them away form fishermens nets." "So what are we doing here?" "Id like to know what were doing here!" "For 20 years weve come  to this rotten rock to pray to the little toy!" "And now lm...!" "No, no..." "The thing is, I had never read this part before." "It was St. lchthycola who ruined our catch!" "Do you realize?" "He looked so holy!" " No, no,  no, all right, all right, we shouldnt have prayed to St. lchthycola." "But whats it going to be, Father?" "If you pray, it doesnt work, if you dont pray, no way." "Speaking of Norway... remember those female tourists from Norway, those who came last year?" "So, whats that got to do with it?" " Lets forget about fishing,  lets go into tourism;" "lets make use of our beautiful beaches, ... the Mediterranean sun... that way the Norwegian women will come,  right?" "Who up there are..." "Those female Nordic tourists are brazen!" " No, Norwegian." "Men spy on them;  then come temptation, evil thoughts  they sunbathe with a naked torso..." "Heh, heh, heh!" "No, these things never come alone." "Well, no, they come in twos... (... temptation and evil thoughts.)" "No, no, I wont allow it  dont insist... well, all right, since you insist...!" "Father, whom can we pray to to send us tourists?" "..." "Swedish women, Belgians..." "Germans..." "Naked torso  Theres a saint..." "St. Titta of the Nurslings;  let us pray to her to send us tourists." "Swedes, Belgians and Germans are very complete women thanks to their seductive bodies" "thanks to the grace of their legs, thanks to the grace of their  to the grace of the Lord!" "When the celebrated composer Johann Sebastian Mastropiero  sat down at the piano ready to compose a song or ballast . a song or ballad,  on the text of the poem "To the Beach with Wendy,"  he thought he saw the form of a strange animal  swaying in the window of his study;  a bit frightened, he called his butler..." "Regarding Mastropieros butler theres a very interesting story;  of course, he was a stocky Welshman who had worked  in the coal mines of Thompson  Company,  until shortly before the mysterious disappearance of  one of the partners in Thompson  Company," "... Henry Company." "Yes, it seems he had had money problems, that  he had wagered a large amount in Cowthumb county,   on its ill-renowned cow races, which were held there,.." "... in Cowthumb." "Speaking of Cowthumb, the outlying farms   is where they make the famous sour cheese of losing cow,  highly valued by French sybarites,  for example the marquis d'Hiver, who uses this cheese to make  his famous soufflé, the soufflé d'Hiver,  with cheese, right?" "Speaking of soufflé..., lm going to give you the recipe for the  dont laugh, afterwards it comes out flat and you dont know why,  a little secret so your soufflé comes out  one must put the flour with the egg yolks in a   rather big pan, and this has to be allowed to ventilate 3 days and 3 nights,  but with ones eyes fixed on the mix;  and afterwards, some instants before serving it, it is placed  in the presence of a jar of Bulgarian garlic,  hermetically sealed;  yes, because otherwise the soufflé will acquire the taste of the garlic." "People always ask me: why must the garlic be Bulgarian?" "Bulgaria..." "Bulgaria is a country." "Speaking of Bulgaria,  one thing that has always seemed remarkable to me  is that in Bulgaria the women are called  for example, Nadiechda, Svoboda, Dobrinka  and the capital is called Sofia!" "Its called Sofia..." "Well, it was the Bulgarians idea, I had nothing to do with it,  yes, no, no, in this case I am a simple reproducer,  a simple repeater, shall we say..." "This brings to mind the Duchess Sofia von Stauben,  selfless protector and lover of Mastropieros;  I mean, so as not to lose the thread, right?" ";  yes, because there are many who cant see the forest for the trees  speaking of trees; Sofia von Stauben belonged to the Prussian branch  of the von Staubens, and it was she who commissioned Mastropiero... to pen the ballad "To the Beach with Wendy," which he was getting ready to compose  that time he thought he saw the form of a strange animal swaying  in the window of the study and he went and called the butler." "Heh, heh... regarding Mastropieros butler theres a very interesting story." "What, you know it already?" "Well, it doesnt matter, the thing is that  he calls the butler, the butler comes  well, lets admit a butler is basically there for that, no?" ",  to come when one calls him;  one could say the only requirement is that he be somewhere else,  naturally, otherwise he cant come:  you call him and say "Come." "How can I come if lm already here?" he says,  its a question of  2 plus 2 is..." "... well; the butler comes." "The butler  the butler, after inspecting the place,  told Mastropiero:" ""Sir, the form you saw  isnt swaying, but is motionless;" "it isnt in the window, but  in an old oil painting; and it isnt any strange animal,  but Duchess Sofia"." "Mastropiero, having recovered from the fright, began to compose the ballad  "To the Beach with Wendy," which we will hear  next, as performed by Les Luthiers." "At last lll get my wish on this very weekend-ee, lm going out with that dish - to the beach with Wendy." "Food galore down our throats well shove, guzzle booze like no nun, and we will make love on the beach under the sun." "Having fun does bring felicity but you must also your sense alcohol has high toxicity and it leads to impotence aaaaahh!" "Under the sun we will make love next to the seas blue water, food galore down our throats well shove and drink just water, like we oughter." "Put a stop to so much meat and eat many more greens, if you would the risk delete of being buried in your teens." "Candy, pasta, bread and all that make you plump send them hence, be wary of all fat and vegetables ditto..." " Why?" " They produce flatulence..." "Aaaaaahh!" "At last lll get my wish on this very weekend-ee, lm going out with that dish, to the beach with Wendy." "Well make love like crazy on a beach secret and quiet, well do it under the suns rays-ee, and well also go on a diet." "Theres danger in the suns disk stay away, dont be a sap;" "it has become a great risk because of the ozone gap." "Aaaaaaaahh!" "I accept that the ozones breach means giving sunbathing a rest, well make love on the beach but well do it fully dressed." "In these tough times, though you chafe, no precaution is in vain, love is not very safe, the best is to abstain." "At last lll get my wish, on this very weekend-ee, it is I wholl go out with that dish to the beach with Wendy." "Aaaaaaaahh!" "Aaaaaaaahh!" "On the occasion of the first performance of the well-known bolero "Forgive Her,"  by Johann Sebastian Mastropiero, which we shall hear next,  the magazine "Musical News" referred  to Mastropiero in very favorable terms;  but a few days later it published the following correction:..." "... Misprints:  where it says "in a seizure of inspiration,  like other Romantic composers,"  it should say "seized from other Romantic composers,"  and where it says "his copious production" it should say "his copied production."" "After listening to the bolero "Forgive Her,"  the great composer Günther Frager wrote indignantly to Mastropiero,  accusing him of having plagiarized a passage of his "Third Symphony";  the answer was not long in coming: "You offend me,"  Mastropiero says in his letter;" ""me of all people I, who always say  that the artist who seizes anothers idea  darkens the waters of the fountain of the spirit,"  a famous phrase... of Günther Fragers." "Curiously, this case, and other similar ones,  which show us Mastropiero plagiarizing Günther Frager  has reached us through Mastropieros own autobiography;  and its not that he repents and confesses his sin,  but that his autobiography is a word-for-word copy  of the memoirs of Günther Frager." "Nevertheless, despite all this, those who, like ourselves,  those of us who love Mastropiero, believe that  many of these traits that are attributed to him  actually are wholly foreign to him;  they are probably Günther Fragers." "Very well then, we will now hear, therefore,  Johann Sebastian Mastropieros bolero "Forgive Her"  by Günther Frager." "With Esther I dont want to continue living what she did can no longer be forgiven;" "she must go, I dont want to continue suffering, certain things from ones mind cannot be driven." "Forgive her, forgive her, ... she is sweet, she was faithful, she is a lady." "Forgive her, forgive her, she still loves you, no ifs or maybe." "With Esther I dont want to continue living, what could be forgiven lve forgiven, I profess;" "that evening when she was already leaving to never loving me she did confess." "Forgive her, forgiveness is royal, return to those kisses heady brew." "Esther was constant, she was loyal, and all her life she was true." "With Esther I dont want to continue living, our life was bitter, I rue;" "that evening when she was already leaving she confessed she never had been true." "So, go on!" "Understand her, your calm do keep, through yesterday those men were only twenty," "and think that in her soul down deep shes a sweet woman, theres proof aplenty." "With Esther I dont want to continue living, with that girl I can nevermore relax;" "that evening when she was already leaving she chased me around the house with an axe." "Tolerate her, shes just a girl, do relax, a few days separation might be right," "the best couples sometimes fight, and almost all chase each other with an axe." "With Esther I dont want to continue living, she never did like my chums;" "that evening when she was already leaving she remarked she thinks theyre all bums." "Forget her, you must forget her, against that witch your heart please harden." "But tell us before you do forget her what was the worst thing, what you could never pardon." "The last thing she did was really low;" "that sin truly can never be absolved;" "That evening when she was about to go  to stay she resolved!" "And now, to conclude this concert,  we present  Frontiers of Science." "The unfathomable mysteries of the Universe..." " Why?" " Why?" "Why?" " How?" " How?" "How?" "Mans eternal queries..." " When?" " When?" " When?" " Where?" " Where?" " Where?" "With whom?" " With whom?" "With whom?" "With whom?" "With whom is Esther now?" "Good evening." "Welcome to Frontiers of Science... ieieieieieieie." "Although traditional science and government organizations  refuse to admit it,  we are not alone in the Universe... eheheheheheh..." "Beings from other planets visit us assiduously  ee ee ee ee ee..." "But we intellectuals ask ourselves:  why do they hide "theyselves"?" "... ... why dont they show "theyselves"?" "A very few days ago,  very close from here, Mr. Asdrúbal García, who lives in the area,  had a close encounter of the third kind,  he saw the extraterrestrials." "That same night,  the pilot of a commercial plaaaaaaaaaaaane  caught a glimpse of the aliens craft." "Let us hear the recording made  by the aerial traffic control tower." "Aerial traffic control tower." "Aerial traffic tower control,..." "this is the pencil of Esther Piscore." "Here, heres Fly Airways flight 687,..." "... my position is 70 miles to the north." "Come in, Fly Airways." "Control, an unidentified object is flying to our side." "Go ahead!" " Ahead?" "No, to the side." "Describe the object." "Go ahead!" "Didnt you say to the side?" "I was talking to the stewardess." "Go ahead, cutie." "Begin the description." "Shes quite something, her name is Susana,..." " ... five foot eight, green eyes..." " No, no, describe the object." "Round, like a disk." "Big or small?" " Small." "Must be a compact." "Fly Airways, I can also see it on the radar its enormous!" "Its like a plane!" "Thats us, control." "The object is moving away from my plane it can hardly be seen." "I will proceed..." "Control?" "The lights have gone off!" "Control?" "The plane doesnt respond!" "Stewardess, stay away!" "The movement..." "I cant control...!" "You must control that plane!" " No, whats moving is the stewardess." "Fly Airways, I can no longer see you on the radar!" "Whats your position?" "Oh, well... the traditional position." "Thats good..." "Of course, because you said to him, "Whats your position?", then he..." "Soon afterwards  the Martians spacecraft landed and the meeting  took place with Mr. Asdrúbal García." "And now, here, in Frontiers of Science, in an exclusive scoop  for the first time on television worldwide,  we are in a position to show you  Asdrúbal García." "I was with the Martians!" "I was with the Martians!" "I was with the Mar... !" "lve seen the Martians, ive seen them!" " Mr. García, I can imagine the fright." " Yes;  but afterwards they began to get used to it..." "Well, calm down and tell us exactly what happened that night." "Well, you see, I was coming back home in my car, with my wife,  when suddenly, the engine stopped!" "And I understand that your watch also stopped. lt also stopped." " Exactly when you saw the Martians." " No!" ",  and thats the strange part." "About a year earlier." "Well, and what did you do?" "I threw it away..." "No, no!" "What did you do..." "what did you do with the Martians?" "Ah, yes, the Martians, yes, yes, yes." "Then I saw them, they were there, next to their craft. lt was fantastic!" "They acted very friendly, you know?" ",  and they allowed me to take an entire roll of photographs." "An entire roll of photographs!" "Do you realize?" "That represented, how can I explain?" "It represented the answer, the answer that I had been  awaiting for so many years." "The answer to what?" " To the messages." "To the singing messages that I sent to the planet Mars." "And how did you send those messages?" "Aha!" "With my cosmic hygrometric space instrument." "Would you like to hear one of the songs I sent to the Martians?" "Fantastic!" "Hey, Martians!" "Youre there!" "If youre there come  here." "Come to visit us, come without deceit, let us know when youre coming so we can go and meet, well give you love, our heart, before you go, ask for anything..." "except dough." "We wont talk about science, but about fun and games, about our cravings and about dames;" "theyre works of art, blondes and brunettes of equal worth;" "not those on Mars:" "they are gorgeous here on Earth!" "And tell us, Mr. García, have you sent them many of these songs?" "Yes, yes, every night  for ten years." "Poor things!" "But, we must ask ourselves, what is the opinion,  for example, of the Church on the issue of extraterrestrials?" "We shall now have the testimony of Father Gervasio, a priest  who has personally researched and delved into these matters  and who has had the kindness to come to Frontiers of Science." "Father, thanks for being with us." "Good evening." "He who provides the most telling answer  to this problem, is St. lchthycola,  although much has been debated about his statements." "Yet St. lchthycola is very clear;  when his disciples ask him about  flying saucers, he replies as follows:  "Orbis completorum iniquitatis  majestatic abundorum est"." "Aaaaaah!" "And what do YOU think, Father?" "I think it is in Latin." " No, I refer to your own studies." " Ah, yes!" "I have read the significant texts:  Isaiah 24, 3;  Corinthians 18, 1 ,..." " ... and Ephesians 1 4, 12." "And, with what results?" "Corinthians 4, Ephesians 0!" "With goals by Isaiah." "But we must also ask ourselves the opinion of other religions;  we will now hear the thinking of a wise man, of a saint,  an expert in age-old eastern wisdom." "I have the pleasure of introducing the great  Swami Sali Maharishi Baba." "Master, how lucky that you were able to get here,  that you were able to get as far as today;  well, then, what is your opinion about extraterrestrials?" "Look, I will answer you, more than as a guru, as a spiritualist." "But, hows this?" ", Could it be that you are a spiritualist?" "Oh, yes, I have now extended my practices to other disciplines: times are very hard." "Now I do astrology, tarot, mind-reading, and I drive a taxi." "And I am also a medium." "I am a great medium, one of the greatest;" "look,  more than a medium, I am an extra-large." "Congratulations, master." "Well, then, please tell us,  what is spiritualisms opinion about extraterrestrials?" "That theyre not extraterrestrials;" "theyre spirits!" "Spirits are responsible for many things we do not understand;  and I will prove it to you with an experience of   collective spiritualism." "I need volunteers." "We will summon a spirit who may be present; concentrate,  join hands." " Mine!" " Ahh!" "And repeat:..." " Spirit!" " Spirit!" "Answer our summons!" " Answer our summons!" "Communicate with us!" " Communicate with us!" "You have communicated with the spirit!" "At this time I cannot answer you!" "Please, leave your message after the beep." "Hah, hah, hah!" "The spirit had that gadget that..." "Mr. García, that much-awaited moment has arrived..." "Another song!" " No!" "You took a whole roll of photographs of the Martians,..." "At last an irrefutable document!" "The great moment has arrived,  we want to see the photos!" "No, I left the photos with them." "They wanted to take them as a souvenir to the planet Mars." "But you didnt keep even one photo?" " l kept one." "Lets see it!" "Fantastic, friends of Frontiers of Science;  I have in front of me, and will quickly be showing you  a document that is bound to change the history of space science;  I see in front of me a greenish, wrinkled being,  with a face covered with scales, hairs and warts,  with a sinister air, threatening, I would almost say repulsive... lt is holding in its upper limbs..." " ... a strange metal cylinder..." "The thermos flask!" "Its my wife!" "Ohhh... er... its your...!" "What... errr... heh, heh...!" "Heh, heh, heh...!" "You beast!" "You beast!" "And now, concluding Frontiers of Science,  the last guest for tonight; a thinker, a poet, a philosopher." "I have the pleasure of introducing the great..." "Manuel Darío!" "Shalalala!" "Shalalala!" "Here I am ta-dah!" "Manuel Darío, you turn anything into a song." "Thanks a lot." "Thats what the songs sound like." "Thanks a lot." "Well, lll ask you the same questions as all the guests,  whats your opinion about extraterrestrials?" "That its all lies, that its falsehood,  that its really used to bamboozle people and take advantage... of their gullibility, isnt it?" "Theres even some television programs,  with some hosts who are dreadful, really repulsive,  who hoodwink people, making them buy..." "Why dont you sing us one of your beautiful songs?" "Sure!" "Listen to this:" "Against the merchant hidden you certainly must rebel when your mind wanders unbidden something he will try to sell." "Against the merchant hidden you certainly must rebel when your mind wanders unbidden something he will try to sell." "When you discover hes a liar fearlessly face him, by Allah!" "And demonstrating your ire proclaim: shalalala!" "Merchants cast their spells they hoard money like elves,  but why do they hide "theyselves"?" "Why dont they show "theyselves"?" "Against the merchant hidden you certainly must rebel when your mind wanders unbidden something he will try to sell." "There are lying wheeler-dealers and preachers with light fingers there are scoundrelly healers and even songwriter-singers." "It isnt true that the soul is regrown, as you suppose;" "what do lN-grow, with no loopholes, are the nails on ones toes." "Against the merchant hidden you certainly must rebel when your mind wanders unbidden something he will try to sell;" "dont let them make you buy when saying "no" would be healthi-ER and with the money you dont otherwise apply" "come and see Les Luthiers!" "Excuse me, Sir, but were you wearing those shoes when you came in?" "Look whos wearing them!" "Look whos wearing them!" "There!" "in the front row, hes got my shoes!" "And hes wearing them with red socks!" "Sir, I humbly apologize, but... but..." "WERE you wearing them or...?" "We read in Mastropieros memoirs:..." ""Yes."" "But then, he adds:..." ""Yes, I have composed music  for the election campaign of Dr. Alberto Ortega;  because Dr. Alberto Ortega always subordinated  petty party interests to  supreme personal interests." "Because he is a great leader, respected by his own and by others,... incorruptible custodian of whats his own, inflexible friend of whats others." "And lastly, because hes incapable of betrayal,  hes incapable of a false promise, basically, hes incapable."" "Les Luthiers will now perform,  precisely, and as an encore,  "Proselytizing Music in C Major", opus 68 point 3  by Johann Sebastian Mastropiero." "Ortega, Ortega, Ortega...!" "Long live Ortega!" " We vote for Ortega!" "Citizens!" "lve come to speak before you  so you will realize for whom you must vote in the upcoming election." "We vote for Ortega!" "We vote for Ortega!" " Silence!" "We vote for Ortega  almost always!" "The next election is coming, we gloat;" "with all our heart" "for Ortega we vote." "Thank you very much. I am moved by your homage, because  I know that nothing insincere can be said  in front of this immense and beloved letter "O" that symbolizes  the three basic principles of our party:  Organization, Order, "Onesty."" "Allow me to correct you, doctor "Organization" is written with an aitch." "With your vote, tomorrow well be saying:" "Down with Rodríguez!" "Down with Rodríguez!" "Down with Rodríguez!" "Thats why we all shout:" "Long live Ortega!" "Long live Ortega!" "Long live Ortega!" "And we dont accept the type of country that THAT ONE tries to impose on us." "Down with that one!" "Down with that one!" "Let the people judge who is committed to their objectives." "Objectives!" "Objectives!" "Idiots, idiots!" "We vote for Ortega" "Ortega is predominant" "Ortega is like a father, a brother or an aunt." "Long live the Doctor, long live the Doctor!" "Ouchhhhhh!" "Somebody get a doctor!" "A trauma specialist, a trauma specialist!" "No, no, an urologist." "We vote at night, we vote when its light,  but we always vote, we vote for Ortega." "After our previous government Dr. Rodríguez accused us  of having undertaken Pharaonic projects; and I ask,  whats Pharaonic about having built those three magnificent pyramids?" "Heh, heh, heh, heh." "You know what happened with the pyramids?" "Ortega is the greatest" "Ortega has talent, as youre aware," "Ortega is the noblest, hes the best and has the whitest hair." "Ortega, our friend, the people are with out!" "We must stress cultural matters  and when I speak about culture I speak about culture with a capital "Q."" "Because I ask the people:" "People!" " What?" "Do we want ignorance in government?" " No!" "Do we want economic welfare?" " Yes!" "Do we want corrupt officials?" " No!" "Do we want stultification and prevarication?" "More or less!" "Its coming, its coming!" "Eeeehhhhhh!" "And now I will conclude, because I know that tomorrow Rodríguez  will be only a bad memory, because I know that you already know  for whom you must vote tomorrow, I know you already know..." " ... that honesty has a name..." " Ortega, Ortega." "That theres only one possible vote..." " Ortega, Ortega." "That theres only one honest candidate" " Ortega, Ortega." "If you want a great government..." " Ortega." "A great statesman,..." " Ortega." "And an incorruptible administration,..." "Ortega." "Therefore, for whom will you vote tomorrow?" "Rodríííííííííííígueeeeeeeez!"