"Copyright from ecOtOne™" "Wilee." "Shit." "I can't work in an office." "I don't like wearing suits." "I like to ride." "Fixed gear, steel frame, no brakes." "The bike cannot coast." "The pedals never stop turning." "Can't stop." "Don't want to either." "There are 1,500 bike messengers on the street in New York City." "yöu can e-mail it, FedEx it, fax it, scan it, but when none of that shit works and this thing has to be at that place by this time, yöu need us." "Some of us get killed out here." "Pedestrians are a menace." "Cabs are killers." "One time or another we all get hit." "Sometimes we gotta hit back." "If yöu're not gonna use it," "I guess yöu don't need it." "My mirror!" "And we stick together, 'cause most people just wish we'd get off the street." ""Go get a haircut." "Take a shower." "Get out of the way. "." "Stop!" "Pay heed!" "They have no idea why anyone would risk their lives in a death maze for 80 bucks on a good day." "But if yöu're out here thinking about the money, yöu're not gonna be around to spend it." "Hey!" "Hey, it's Vanessa." "Leave me a message and I'll call yöu back." "'Kay, I'm actually leaving a voice mail now." "This is demeaning." "Why won't yöu call me?" "Hey." " Samantha Harris, TVM?" " Yep." "And sign here, please." "yöu need a number, too?" " yöu got a pickup for me?" " yöu already got it." "Positive I did not." "No, someone from yöur company." "What'd he look like?" "He was prettier than me." "Hey, watch yöur back." "Manny's office, this is Manny." "Dude, yöu jumped my route?" "I had a drop-off." "It was sitting right there, man." "Dude, but that's my tag." "Then how come it's in my bag?" "I'm coming to get it." "Wasting yöur time, man." "I'm almost there already." "Well, I'm right behind yöu." "Yo, it isn't yöurs, it's mine now." "Like yöur girlfriend." "I'm getting worried, dude." "Real concerned." "It's been a couple of days." "Manny's a gentleman, but Manny's got appetites." "Click!" "Asshole." "No, no, no, sweetheart." "Think Gandhi, not Sitting Bull." "Boom!" "Yes, I'm already on it." "Sweetheart, I gotta go." "Security Courier." " Get line two a 20 on Squid." " Got it." "I'm right here." "Goddamn radio got run over." "Raj." "What the hell, man." "Mannyjumped my route?" "Is it so?" "Yes, it's so. yöu shouldn't try to be Zen, dude. yöu're wearing a gold chain." "Tito, my midtown monster, slow and steady comes in last." "yöu get passed by a hot dog cart today?" "The pedals turn, Raj." "Not just the left one, but the right one, too." "I have no idea what he's talking about." "The words he says, they don't go together to create meaning in a traditional sense, but I believe it is profound." "Hey, I'm light. yöu got anything else today?" " I need anotherjob." " The pedals turn, my friend, the pedals turn." " That doesn't mean anything." " Well, Tito said it, not me." "No hello?" "Hey, Vanessa, I hope yöu're gonna fix that wheel and get back out there." "Y9K)..." "Why didn't yöu call me back?" "I don't have anything else to say." "Okay, I know yöu're not about to kiss me right now." "Why?" "yöu don't want me to?" "My hand to God, I don't." "Then why did yöur back just arch?" " It did not." " Yes, it did." " Nope." " Like it always does." " See, yöu did it again." " Stop!" " Really?" "Come on." " No." "Okay." "Ride safe." "Security Courier." "Yo, Nima, what's up?" "Yeah, he's here." "Where we going?" "Okay..." "Okay." "All right." "Great." "Got it." "Wilee, yöu're in luck." "yöur alma mater summons." "116th Street entrance, law school main office, drop is in Chinatown." "I need yöu south of Pell in 90 minutes." "Let's go." "yöu're getting 50 for that run at least." "Give me 40." "Forget it." "Tito." "Never mind." "Marco." "Polo." "I got a nice long run for yöu guys." " Can't do it." " Why not?" " Gotta get hammered." " Fair enough." "Come on, man." "I'm tired, I'm hungry, my day is taking a turn for the shitty, give me the 40." "I'll give yöu 30." "Don't screw it up." "It's premium rush." "Hey, Wilee." "yöu and me, man!" "Central Park." "Just one lap." "Straight up bicycle race." "No whale riding, no bumper surfing, none-a yöur alleycat bullshit." "I'll kick yöur ass, man." "Have yöu seen my thighs?" "Have yöu seen my thighs?" "What do yöu want?" "So yöu into Spandex now?" "On yöur right!" "God, can yöu forget about Manny?" "He's just helping me move." "Move?" "What, yöu guys are moving?" " No, I'm moving, she's staying." " Why?" "I don't wanna talk about it." "She wants me out by the end of the day." "What, did yöu get into a fight with her, too?" "I'll call yöu back." "Shit." "Hey, walk that thing!" "Wilee?" "It is yöu." "Hey, man." "Hey, what yöu been up to, man?" "yöu know, running reds, killing peds." "I heard yöu never took the bar." "It's on my list." "Don't stress about it." "Hey, they say if yöu snort some Ritalin, it's a cakewalk." "Sage advice, Mr Hand." "Hey, Nima." "They didn't tell me it was yöu who called." "That it?" "It must be there by 7:00." "Deliver only to Sister Chen." "Where am I going?" "Chinatown. 147, Doyers." "Is that going to be difficult?" "Would be for some." " It's a tiny street, very hard to see..." " I'll find it." "Time is now 5:33." "Sign here and print yöur name under it, please." "yöu Okay?" "I heard yöu got roommate troubles." "I feel bad, I kinda hooked yöu guys up." "Deliver only to Sister Chen." "It must be there by 7:00." "It's extremely important." "Always is." "Gonna need the envelope." "Thanks." "Have a nice day." "Hey!" "Hey, there yöu are." "Hey!" "Hey, excuse me, messenger guy." "That envelope yöu picked up, I gotta ask for it back." " Who are yöu?" " Forrest J. Ackerman." "Head of campus security." "The woman who gave yöu the envelope, she's not authorised to use the school account." "It's an internal matter I've been investigating." "Not yöur problem." "Can I have the envelope, please?" "Yeah, the thing is, once it goes in the bag, it's gotta stay in the bag unless I hear from a dispatcher." "Fine." "Call him." "I'll talk to him." "I got the receipt right here." " Nima gave that to yöu?" " Who?" "Nima." "yöu don't know the name of the woman yöu're investigating?" "Yeah." "Nima, right." "I'm sorry, I couldn't hear yöu. yöur mouth was full." "Thing is, man, company I work for, it's called "Security Courier."" "The "Security" part means that once people give us their shit, we don't just hand it out to random strangers on the street, so..." "Listen, I just spent $7 on this delicious urban food log, so if yöu'd step aside and let me eat, that'd be great." "What's yöur name?" " Wilee." " Wilee." "Wile E?" "Like the coyote?" " That's cute." " Thanks." "yöu got a real name?" "A girlfriend?" "Family?" "People who give a shit if they see yöu again?" "Who are yöu, man?" "I'm the guy yöu don't fuck with." "Hold my log." "Hey!" "Have a nice day, douche bag!" "Okay..." "I just wanted to say I was sorry." "That thing was important to me." "Maybe that doesn't mean shit to yöu..." "No, it means something to me." "I just forgot, that's all." "Okay, I get it." "Look, this is three sorrys now." "It's actually only two." "Well, yöu hung up on one of 'em, so that's on yöu." "I don't get it." "Honestly?" "Watch it!" "Excuse me." "I just don't get it." "I mean, yöu have opportunity and all that brain and yöu throw it away." "Look, why are we having this conversation?" "yöu get it. yöu ride like I do." "No, I ride, but not like yöu, Wilee." "I put a brake on my bike and I use it." "Yeah, and that brake's gonna get yöu killed." "yöu should get rid of that." "The worst shit that ever happened to me happened when I had a brake." "Brakes are death." "yöu know what?" "That thing yöu say, it's not as cute any more." "yöu could have any job yöu want." "When I see a guy in a grey business suit, my age, makes my balls shrivel up into my abdomen." "Whatever." "Hi, Alonzo." "We get paid to ride." "What could be better than that?" "Do yöu know why I ride?" "Because I hate waiting tables." "Thank yöu." "Look, I'm sorry that I didn't come to yöur school thing." "But what do yöu want me to do about it right now?" "My "school thing"?" "It was graduation and yöu blew it off for a race." "Look, I know it took me eight years to get my degree, but I'm gonna get a decent job and sit behind a desk all day." "I don't need anyone in my life telling me that it's meaningless 'cause it means something to me." "And I need to know that I can count on yöu." "Hello?" " I gotta go." " Of course yöu do." "I'm gonna call yöu back." "Hey, what?" "Douche bag?" "What the hell's the matter with yöu?" "Come on, son, this is silly." "yöu're gonna skin yöur knee." "I think I'll be all right." "Thank yöu, though." "Just pull over, right up here." "Come on." "yöu're a very uncooperative guy, yöu know that'?" " Come on, give it to me!" " No!" "yöu take care now!" "Shit!" "Shit." "I'm chasing a bicycle." "Jesus." "Tricky." " yöu moron!" " yöu're right!" " yöu maniac!" " Sorry!" "My fault!" "Hey!" "Give me the envelope!" "What?" " yöu can hear me, yöu little shit." " Sorry, I can't hear yöu!" "What's it to yöu?" "Come on!" "Give me the goddamn envelope!" "That?" "No." "No, no, no." "I just wish they wouldn't ride on the sidewalk, yöu know?" "I mean, look, I understand yöu've got a job to do." "Excuse me!" "Hey, hey!" "Hey, hey, hey!" "Slow down!" "Now, see?" "I told yöu this wouldn't end well for yöu." "Where'd yöu go?" "Hey!" "Come here!" "Hey!" "Yo, yöu crazy?" "NYPD!" "I wanna talk to yöu for a minute!" "Great." "Hey!" "Pull over!" "Hey!" "Delinquent scum!" "Red shirt on the bicycle!" "NYPD!" "yöu just caused an accident back there!" "Pull over!" "Come on." "Shit!" "My baby!" "Shit." "yöu little shit." " Thanks for helping me with this." " yöu know I'm always there for yöu." "Well, I couldn't have done it on my own, so thanks." "Look, it's none of my business, but yöu know yöu saved yöurself a lot of heartache breaking up with the Coyote Man." "I mean, seriously, yöu know, he's crazy." "And it's not like he's some great cyclist or something." "I mean, he's just got a death wish, that's all." "That's no skill." "Only reason he beats me in alleycats is 'cause the man got a mental instability." "I mean, all that fixie bullshit." "yöu know, the no brakes, no gears." " That's ridiculous." " Yeah, I hear ya." "Look, think about it, okay?" "He's broke his left collarbone twice." "Got a couple concussions, a pin in his wrist." "That's when he was doing all that trick stuff." "He's not into that any more." "Okay, sure, but the way he rides." "What does that tell yöu'?" "How much he loves it, I guess." "Then he's got him some confused priorities, babe." "Yeah." "No, Manny." "Hey, my roommate's in some kind of trouble and she won't text me back." "Can yöu just drop me off over on Broadway?" "Please?" "I gotta go find her." " Okay, okay." "Okay." " Thanks." "Jesus." "Shit." " This douche bag tried to..." " I can hear yöu." "Sorry." "Guy tried to rob me and run me over with his car." " Are yöu injured?" " No." " yöu wanna file a complaint?" " No, I want him arrested." "It's like attempted vehicular manslaughter, or whatever." "Is it, yöur Honour?" "Have a seat, someone will be right out to take yöur statement." "I also have a picture of his license plate number." "That's fantastic." "Have a seat, someone will be right with yöu." "Thank yöu for yöur concern." "Holy moly." "Hey." "What do ya know?" "Detective Monday graces us with his presence." "Yeah." "I'm sorry I'm late." "yöur wife had a lot of unusual requests." " Yeah'?" "She still got that rash?" " Yeah." "I worked around it." "What's the matter with yöur face, Monday?" "Goddamn tooth went abscess on me, vicious little bastard." "I go to the dentist, son of a bitch got me in the waiting room an hour and a half." "Finally, he sits me in the chair, takes one look at it..." "Yanks it right out of my head." "Can yöu believe it?" "Yeah, that's why I'm late." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Got yöu now, sucker." "Monster hand, monster hand." "Jesus, yöu're kidding me!" "Goddamn shit!" "No!" "Next time better luck, Bobby, huh?" "Not bad hand, not bad hand." "Almost, Bobby." "Everything okay, Bobby?" "It's great." "I just gotta get to work is all." "Same old, same old." "Mr Monday, Mr Sunday." "Rebuy." "Hello?" "Rebuy." " Let me get yöu a Coke, Bobby." " No, thank yöu." " I need five grand." "What's the problem?" " It's up to 17." "Which happens to be my lucky number." "This isn't yöur game, man." "Anglos don't have the math for Pai Gow." " Mr Lin thinks..." " What does Mr Lin think?" "He can't get shut down 'cause a cop owes him a few dollars?" " Come on, yöu don't wanna talk like that." " 72nd Street." "Brooklyn Players." "They all went down eventually." "They all go down, Charlie Chan." " Maybe yöu need to go get some fresh air." " yöu take a walk in the park!" "I want a rebuy!" "Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry." "Sorry." "Sorry." "Look, if yöu really need cash..." " I shouldn't be telling yöu this." " What?" "yöu know that bitch snakehead my sister works for?" " Yeah." " She said they got a serious ticket coming down from a hawaladar in Morningside, tonight." " How much is it worth?" " Fifty grand." "And that ticket is as good as cash." "If yöu get a hold of that thing and bring it here, yöur money problems with us are over." "Maybe I take a little finder's fee, let's just say a third." "Mr Lin gets the rest, and yöu're even." "What do I look like, a change-snatcher to yöu?" "I'm a cop." "I look like a purse-pincher, a goddamn mugger?" "I'm just trying to help yöu out." "yöu don't wanna do that, then be a big boy, go to the Shy, borrow what yöu gotta borrow." " Mr Lin gets his 17, yöu're right back in." " Yeah." " What's the vig?" " Twenty points." " That's ridiculous." " Don't take it." " From our friends in Ozone Park?" " yöu wish." " Brighton Beach." " Shit." "Seriously, don't take it." "Give it to me." "Hey, where yöu going?" " He took it across the street." " I have now seen it all." "Look at that sick bastard." "Come on." "Yeah, come on, come on." "Are yöu sure yöu want to put that all in one hand?" "Yeah, I'm sure." "Come on." "This is the one." "Let's see, what do we got here?" "What do we got?" "Keep yöur eyes to yöurself, all right, buddy?" "I'm not done." "Six plus seven is shit!" "Six plus five is shit." "Eight plus five is six..." "ls seven..." "ls shit." "It's all shit, no matter how yöu add it up." "Yeah." "Whatever, whatever." "Thanks a lot." " That a Chinese phone book?" " Yeah." "Don't stop yet." "Why, yöu getting tired?" "Hey, wait a minute." "Wait." "Tired, my ass." "What..." "That..." "That's my tooth!" "yöu piece of shit!" "I said nothing permanent!" "Hey, I'm talking to yöu!" "Get over here!" "There are goddamn rules about this shit!" "Okay?" "yöu think it doesn't apply?" "I'll take a lump or two if I cross the line, but yöu think I'm gonna grow new teeth at my age?" " Mr Lin..." " Mr Lin!" "Hey!" "What?" "Ls Mr Lin in charge?" "Is Mr Lin President of the United States?" "Let me tell ya something, boys." "I am a cop!" "yöu do not do this!" "Hey." "Come on, it wasn't that bad." "He'll be all right." "Come on." "Come on, papi." "Yeah, there yöu go." "See?" "Get yöur buddy to Bellevue." "Fourteen minutes." "I timed it." "That's how long it took yöu to soak yöurself in gasoline and set it on fire." "That ticket yöu were talking about?" "I think I'm gonna need the address." "Yeah, the goddamn dentist." "Is that a good enough reason for yöu?" "Two hours in the chair." "Can yöu believe it?" "Well, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do." "I'm gonna go get my morphine." "I'll be right back." " yöu know, I've been thinking about firemen." " What about 'em?" "They hang out together, yöu know, they work out." "They cook pasta." "Pose for calendars." " What are yöu talking about?" " We should do that." "I'm not posing for any calendar." "No towels?" "Depressing." " Hey, look who's here, Lance Armstrong." " Hey, what's up?" " Hey, guys." " Hold up a minute." " What's up?" " What happened to yöu?" "I just got my ass kicked by a kid on a bicycle." " Jesus, yöu okay?" " I'm all right." "Monday, come on, we gotta see that guy." "Yeah, all right." "Monday, seriously, we gotta go." "Let's go." "yöu talk to him this time." "He responds to yöu better." "Really?" "I don't know why." "I can't stand the guy." "Yeah, but he doesn't know that." "Monday, are yöu coming?" "Yeah, I..." "I forgot my bullets." "I'll meet yöu guys there, okay?" "Who forgets their bullets?" "Monday." "Shit." "Hey, red shirt!" "NYPD!" "Come on, dude." "Really?" "I'm working on it." " The guy's dead." " What?" "The guy yöu beat up, Bobby." "He didn't even make the ride to the hospital." "yöu got a real knack for making it worse, yöu know that?" "God damn it." "I'll make amends." "Start with the money." "Get that ticket." "Bring it to Mr Lin's shop on 28th." "yöu got one hour." "Heads up." "Look out, look out." "Outta the way." "Police!" "On yöur left, lady, look out!" "Jesus Christ." "What do yöu want me to do?" "Hello, everybody!" "Stand still!" "Lady, stand still!" "yöu're good." "There yöu go." "Police!" "Coming through." "Lady, please." "Heads up, man." "Whoa, buddy!" "My God!" "Stop already!" "yöu're making it worse for yöurself, I swear to God!" "Keep the kids back!" "Keep 'em back!" "NYPD!" "No!" "God damn it!" "Mister!" "That way!" "Get yöur arms inside the bus!" "Dispatch." "What did yöu do to me, man?" "What the hell am I carrying?" "Wilee?" "Where are yöu?" "I do not carry drug shit, or whatever the hell this is!" "It's not drugs." "It can't be drugs." "It's from a highly respected East Coast college." " It's probably drugs." " Yep." "Listen to me." "I almost got my ass killed three times in the last 20 minutes!" "And it wasn't my fault!" "Is somebody messing with yöu?" "yöu need backup?" "No." "I just wanna get rid of the thing." "Well, I got nobody else." "The only person here is Tito, and I can't send him that far north." "The guy's like 98 years old." "No of fence." "Dude, just call the college and tell them I'm bringing the package back, okay?" "I'm done with it." "No, no, don't take it back!" "Come on!" "Wilee..." "Manny." "Just the person I need to see." "What's up?" "Yeah, hello." "I'm calling about an order yöu just picked up." "Order number?" "Yep, yep, got it right here. 2231970." "Yeah, that's it." "I'm gonna need to change the delivery address on that envelope." "Yeah." "Me, I'm Forrest J. Ackerman, Dean of Students." "I've got that appointment now." "I'll see yöu in a bit." "Okay..." " Hi." " Hey." "I'm almost done." "My friend borrowed a truck to help me move, so I'll be outta here by 6:00." "Thank yöu." "I'm sorry it is so sudden." "yöu will be all right?" "Yeah." "I'm staying with my aunt until I find a place." "Okay, good." "I still don't get what happened." "Did I do something to piss yöu off or something?" "No, I told yöu, it's a private matter." "Okay..." "Excuse me, I have some things to take care of." " Where'd yöu get all that?" " This is my business." " Better for yöu to stay out of it." " Are yöu going out with that'?" "'Cause this is New York City, yöu can't walk around with all that money." " Where are yöu going?" " Down the street." " Where?" " The nail salon." "The nail salon?" "This is something I have to do." "I don't have a choice." "Okay." "I'm coming with yöu." "No, thank yöu." "Mr Leung?" " NYPD." " Yeah?" "yöu got a minute?" "Count it." "A lot of money for a yöung lady." "Took me two years." "I work three jobs." "American dream, huh?" "Is to work three jobs?" "These days, yes." "yöu speak Mandarin?" "Yes." "If yöu lose the ticket I cannot give yöu back the money." "yöu understand?" "This ticket now is money." "For whoever holds it." "If yöu have problems yöu don't call the police yöu call this number." "The Hawala system settles its own problems." "This money is for a snakehead?" " Yes." " Which one?" "Sister Chen." "She won't take cash." "She sent me to yöu." "Did yöu tell anyone yöu were coming here?" "Only my friend." "This city is not yöur village." "Many people would rob yöu if they know what yöu have." "My friend would n't tell anyone." "If she did they may be watching for yöu." "Can someone else deliver the ticket for yöu?" "Someone they won't recognise?" "I don't know." "Think about it." "May the Buddha watch over yöu." "Hey!" "Security Courier." "Yo, Nima." "What's up?" "I have a pickup from our office." "It will be ready in about 10 minutes." "Is Wilee available?" "Yeah, he's here." "Where we going?" "Okay..." "Okay, all right." "Great." "Got it." "Wilee, yöu're in luck." "yöur alma mater summons." "Come on!" "Good to see yöu, too." "Excuse me." "Damn." "Damn it." " Hey." "Excuse me." " Yeah." "NYPD." "I'm looking for a yöung Asian woman, about 22, 23, blue shirt, black pants." "She just walked by a minute ago." " Know where I can find her?" " Let me think." "Yeah, I do." "Hey, walk that thing!" "Yeah, I believe so." "Thanks." "Have a nice day." "Hey!" "Hey, there yöu are." "Hey, there." "Forrest J. Ackerman, Internal Revenue Service, Wire Fraud Investigation Unit." "Yes?" "Now, yöung lady, yöu realise this system of money transfer yöu're participating in circumvents about 18 different United States banking regulations?" " I'm not sure I understand." " Relax." "It's not yöu that's facing jail time." "At least I don't think so." "These hawaladars are known to prey on unsuspecting illegal immigrants." " I'm not illegal." " We don't have to get into that." " I have a student visa." " With yöu?" "At home." "See, it's supposed to be with yöu at all times." "Yeah, yöu leave it at home, that's a good way to get yöurself deported." "But we don't have to go down to Immigration and talk about that now." "That's totally unnecessary." "We need to settle it right here." "I just need to see the envelope the hawaladar gave yöu." "Please." "I don't understand." "What don't yöu understand?" "Why someone who says he's an IRS agent has a New York City police detective's badge." "Come over here." "Okay..." "What are yöu doing?" "Let me go!" "Okay, smarty-pants." "yöu know what the HR shrink said I have?" "Impulse control issues." "Like yöu need a college degree to figure that out." "I'm telling yöu this so yöu know that it's in yöur best interest not to lie to me or waste my time, but give me the goddamn envelope." "Please." "Before I lose my shit and rip yöur throat out." "Clear enough?" "What's that?" "What did yöu do?" "Damn it." "Damn it." "Hey!" "Excuse me!" "Messenger QUY!" "That envelope yöu just picked up?" "I'm gonna have to ask for that back." "What are yöu doing here?" " What is up with yöu?" " Nothing." "Well, that doesn't look like nothing." "It's my problem." "It's personal." "Did that cop find yöu?" "yöu saw him?" "What did yöu tell him?" "He said there were some people planning to rob yöu and he was trying to stop it." "He wanted to help yöu." " Yes, he helped me very much." " What's going on?" " yöu're no friend." "We are not friends." " Yes, we are." "I told yöu one thing, and yöu almost ruined it all." "I'll take care of myself." "Nima. yöu gotta start trusting somebody." "Please, tell me." "What's going on?" "Wilee?" "What are yöu doing here?" "Nima." "yöu can't have delivered already, it's not possible." "yöu know what?" "It's really uncool to let a messenger service deliver yöur illegal bullshit." " Where is my envelope?" " It's hard enough out there." " Where is it?" " I gave it back to the front desk." "Did a messengerjust come by and drop off an envelope?" "Yeah, and another one just came and picked it up." "Who told them to change the address?" "Hey." "yöu get yöur envelope back?" "Someone else come and pick it up?" "But it's going to the wrong place." "What?" "Why?" "What do yöu care?" "So, what was that thing I was carrying?" "It's like a receipt for a great deal of money." "What's the money for?" "A she-tou." "A snakehead." " What's that?" " It's a kind of importer." "Right." "So yöu're involved in some kind of drug thing?" "No." "What are yöu "importing"?" "My son." "I came to this country on a student visa." "He was to come right after me." "It is not illegal." "He can travel on my visa." "But then an article I wrote about Tibet a long time ago was posted on the Internet." "For the past years they have not let him leave China." "So I have to get him out another way." "Because I will have my son." "Why'd yöu have to go and ask for me?" "Vanessa always said yöu was the best at what yöu do." "She says maybe she can never count on yöu, but at work, there's no one better." "She said that?" "Is it true?" "Can I count on yöu?" "Let me see the name on the sheet." "How come yöu don't answer my calls?" "Because I got a business to run." "What do yöu want?" "yöu picked up an envelope from Nima at the college office at 5:30." "Where is it?" "Jesus, what is it with this envelope?" "People love it, they hate it, they gotta have it, they gotta get rid of it." "It's like cigarettes or Democrats." "Where is the opener?" "Who's got it, Raj?" "yöur boy Wilee pussied out." "He said he was taking it back." "So it's back at the school?" "Negativo." "Somebody called to change the drop-off address." "Why are there a million tools in here and nothing to open a beer?" " A man or a woman?" " That would be a dude." "So who's gonna pick it up?" "I gave it to Manny." "Shit." "Which way are yöu going, yöu roided-out freak'?" "Really?" "Hey, where are yöu?" "Corner of Broadway and Kiss My Ass." "What do yöu want?" "Need that envelope yöu just got." "Do yöu really?" "Yeah, seriously. yöu don't know what it is." "I know exactly what it is, 5O bucks if I get it there by 7:00." "What, yöu're getting 50?" "Raj is only giving me 30!" "Yeah, speed costs money, pussy!" "Pull over and give it to me, man!" "I'll explain later." "Okay, pussy, I'll wait right here." "There, I just stopped at 112th." "Bullshit, dude, I can hear the wind." "yöu're still moving." "Yeah, Manny rides fast!" "yöu should try it, it feels good!" "Hello?" "Asshole!" " 'Lee?" " Now yöu want to talk?" "This whole thing is my fault." "yöu're hard to keep track of." "I accept yöur apology." "Can I call yöu back?" "That envelope Nima gave yöu is for her kid." "She has a kid." " I know." "I just talked to her." " Well, do yöu still have it?" "I'm chasing it down Broadway right now." "I really gotta call yöu back." "Manny is taking it to the wrong people." "I tried to call him, but he won't pick up." "I'm on it." "I'll get him." "No, it's my fault." "yöu don't need to get involved." " Well, it's on my way home anyway." " Just tell me where yöu are." "Baby, this situation sucks." "I don't want yöu anywhere near it." "Hey, Jersey, yöu wanna move yöur fat-ass SUV!" "yöu know how sexy yöu are when yöu talk like that?" " L/Vilee." " I'll call yöu when I deliver." " Wait!" " Count on it." "Shit." "Hey, Wilee, I got an idea." "Why don't yöu race me for it?" "yöu get to 28th Street before I do, I'll give yöu the envelope." "We'll go through the park." "Enter on 106." "I don't have time for this bullshit, man." "yöu don't got the legs for it, man." "And that steel pig yöu're riding ain't gonna help yöu neither." "Be like me, baby." "Parlee, custom-cut carbon fibre!" "I am begging yöu." "My bike fits me like a Naturalamb, son." "Just listen for one second." "See yöu in the park." " Manny!" " Peace!" "God damn it." "Okay. yöu wanna race, let's race." "Dispatch." "Raj, I need that address yöu sent Manny to right now." "Manny?" "Come on." "Don't the three of yöu ever get tired of this Real World shit yöu keep playing?" "Raj!" "Manny, Wilee, Wilee, Manny." "When does Raj get to climb Mount Vanessa?" "The address, God damn it!" "Hold on, let me look for it." "Piece of shit." "Fellas." "Manny!" "I'll give yöu the 50 bucks!" "Manny can't hear yöu, Manny's moving too fast." "Come on, man, yöu don't wanna drag yöur hefty ass up this hill." "Not a problem for me, baby." "I'll just drop into my little ring." "Hey, Fixie, I bet yöu wish yöu had gears now, donlyöu?" "Gravity, yöu is my friend again, baby." "Hey, Wilee, I got something for ya!" "yöu like that, huh?" "Yeah, I know yöu do, yöu little bitch." "I got yöu, Spandex!" "I'm on yöur wheel!" "I'm in yöur draft, dude!" "It's like yöu're on my team!" " Slow down!" "Hey." " Guys, get off of the path!" "21 dispatch. 21 dispatch, come in." "2-1, bike post 3, yöu on the air?" "Yeah, this is Roselli." "Go ahead." "yöur bike freak." "Beat-up white bike, red shirt?" "Yeah?" "He's at it again." "Park Drive, headed south towards 7th." "I'm on it." "Careful on the path, ma'am." "Dude, when's the race starting?" "People, please!" "Stay awake!" "Stay alive!" "Look out!" "Look out!" "God!" "That one hurt." "yöu're too slow!" "Give it up!" "NYPD!" "Stop the bikes!" "Both of yöu!" "Back it up!" "yöu're such an asshole!" "Screw yöu, Wilee!" "Billy, pull forward!" "Pull forward!" "Hey!" "Who the hell are yöu guys?" "Damn!" "Is that it?" "No!" "Gimme that!" "Gimme!" "No!" "Look at yöu." "yöu have got to be kidding me!" "Come here!" "Come here!" "Hey, what happened to yöu here?" "yöu use that goddamn brake again?" "Yeah, I took that shit off." "Thank yöu, Jesus." "Hey!" "Them!" "Them!" "This way, this way." "Shit!" "What are yöu doing?" "Looking for the thing." "Here it is." "Roll this up." "Really tight, really tight." "Okay." "Shit." "I mean, holy shit, right?" "I know." "Is it good?" "Yeah." "Come on, guys." "Come on!" "Hey!" "No, yöu don't." "Shit." "Wilee!" "Shit." "Wilee?" "Aren't yöu afraid yöu're gonna get killed?" "yöu believe in luck." "When yöur number's up, yöur number's up." "Aren't yöu afraid yöu're gonna get killed?" "I mean, the way yöu ride." "Wile e!" "VVi/ee!" "Aren't yöu afraid yöu're gonna get killed?" "Yeah, but if it comes, that's just gonna come outta nowhere." "Am I afraid?" "Sure, but that's part of it, yöu know?" "There's no feeling like that." "When yöur number's up, yöur number's up." " yöu could say that." " So yöu're a Buddhist, then." "Yo, give it up for Sleigh Bells!" "That's what's up, that's what's up!" "Sleigh Bells, yo!" "yöu believe in luck." "yöu know it's the Taoists that believed in luck." "The Buddha rejected all that." "He insisted on cause and effect." "What kind of bike messenger are yöu?" "The kind with a Masters in Bullshit and Obfuscation." "yöu still haven't answered my original question." "Aren't yöu afraid of dying?" "I mean, the way yöu ride." "yöu wanna know what scares me is what happened to my friends who just got out of law school." "That is collective insanity." "Compared to that, going down Broadway at 50 with no brakes is fine." "Sounds good." "It also sounds like bullshit." "The bike wants to go fast." "It's steadier that way." "I've never been hurt going all-out." "It's just the hesitation that'll kill yöu." "So yöu're one of those guys." "No brakes." "No, I hate brakes." "Brakes are death." "Now it's time to announce the winner of the Fifth Annual New York Bike Messenger Association Alleycat Race." "Grand prize is $100 and Felipe's bike." "yöu like that?" "To the winner for the third consecutive year, the original bumper surfer, the Coyote Man, Wilee!" "Wilee!" "That's my boy, right there!" "All right, baby!" "Well, come on." "Come and get it." "Get up here." "Give it up, give it up!" "Yeah!" "yöu back?" "Where's my bike?" "Yeah, yöu're back." " Where's my bike, seriously?" " Relax." "Relax." "I can't leave without the bike." " I'm going with him." " No." " What the hell are yöu doing?" " yöu stay here." "Hey, I need some help over here." "This woman is unruly." " What?" " Calm down." " I didn't even do anything." " yöu got to relax." "Fine." "Okay." "Is this my bag?" "Thank yöu, I appreciate that." "Hopefully there's nothing missing." "This crazy man..." "I don't care what happened!" "Because yöu tackled me!" " I didn't mean to tackle yöu." " Just FYI, there's a lawsuit happening." "I'm not saying I'm gonna do it or whatnot, but there is one coming." "Thank yöu." "All right, come on." "Get yöur stuff." "Hey, chief, I need to talk to yöu." " Hey, what's up?" " I need to talk to yöu." " Did he come to?" " Yeah." "He's awake." "A little messed up." "He's got a couple of bruised ribs, but he'll be all right." " Listen, I gotta ask yöu a favour." " Yeah, shoot." "I have got to talk to this guy right away." "V?" "The bike." "His partner got away." "I gotta find him before he gets too far." "Is there any way I could ride and ask him a couple of questions?" " What, right now?" " Yeah, yeah, yeah." "If I could just sit with him on the way to the hospital?" " That's very unusual." " Yeah?" " Yeah." " Well, NYPD needs a favour." "Okay?" "Okay, chum?" " All right, come and ride with us." " All right." "Thanks." "Drive." "Hey, buddy?" "Hey, buddy?" "Hey..." "They're not yöur buddies." "yöu're one of these bike assholes." "yöu know how much time they waste scraping yöu shitheads off the street?" "This whole city hates yöu." "Hey, man. yöu headed to the impound?" "Yeah." "Why?" "Good." "Take this thing." "I'll meet yöu there." "When this asshole comes for his bike, he's mine." "Time to quit clicking around, son." "yöu got involved with some people with real problems." "Real deadlines." "Life and death shit." "What is this to yöu?" "What, the slope that gave yöu the ticket, she gave yöu some sad story?" "Eighteen cousins in Fujian that wanna come to Chinatown, dish out Mongolian beef with snow peas?" "Well, life's hard." "Turns out they can't come." "It's for her kid, man." "Do I bother her with my problems?" "Where's the ticket?" "Yeah, I hear yöu got some cracked ribs, that's gotta sting." "We better be careful." "Don't want yöu bouncing around too much in here." "Might poke a lung." "I'm sorry." "Is that uncomfortable?" "Douche bag." "I don't really care much for that term "douche bag."" "People throw it around like crazy these days, like it's suddenly okay." "yöu know what else people say now?" ""Suck it."" "I was watching TV the other night, 8:30, middle of prime time." "Kids could be watching." "Guy says, "Suck it."" "Everybody's laughing." "How is that appropriate?" "I'm gonna ask yöu some questions." "And yöu're gonna give me one-word answers, yes or no." "Even a bagboy should be able to handle that." "First question." "Do yöu know where the ticket is?" "Hello!" "yöu better give me an answer or I'm gonna snap yöur ribs like toothpicks." "Do yöu know where the ticket is?" "Will yöu give it to me?" "Good boy." "Just get me my bike." "Are yöu negotiating?" "Yeah." "Yeah, and yöu're outta time." "yöu might have these assholes in the bag, but yöu can't lean on me like this when we get to the hospital." "That's my offer!" "Get me my bike!" "I'll get yöu the ticket." "How do we make that happen?" "Manny." "Bring me Manny." "How ya doing, George?" "Charlie, pull up to the side!" "Put it back there?" "Yeah, I'm pushing it through." "Shit." "Get out." "Come on." "Here they come." "I'm gonna kick yöur ass till Thursday if he doesn't have it." "It's in his bag." "Why do yöu think I was chasing him?" "Can I get my bike now, please?" "Hey." "Hey, fellas." "What's up?" " Take this kid inside to get his bike." " All right." " But bring him back." " Will do." "Hello, sir!" "Rough day, huh?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Have to ask yöur permission to search yöur bag." "yöu're not in any trouble at all." "I have reason to believe somebody may have put something in there without yöur knowledge." "Okay..." " Hey, did yöu just bring a bike in?" " End of the row." "Okay..." "Hey, yöu see somebody hanging on the back of my truck?" "No, I just got here." "Like who?" "Like some batshit crazy messenger chick." "I think she was holding on the whole time I was on the West Side Highway." "Damn." "Something I've been looking for all damn day." " I've had a bit of a rough day myself." " What are yöu doing?" "Got it." "Nice!" "Are there any more compartments?" "For what?" "Over here." "I love yöu for more than one reason." "God damn it!" "Have a nice day." "Yeah, just leave it right there!" "I'll take care of it, not a problem!" "Shit." "I'm gonna shred the living shit outta that thing." "Wait." "I'll see yöu outside." "Hey!" "Where is the little shit?" "Left him back there behind the bikes." "End of the row." "yöu left him?" "What, yöu wanted me to watch him the whole time?" "No, I wanted yöu to give him the keys to yöur car, jackass." "Where'd he go?" "God damn it." "Bastard!" "Can I get some help here?" "Go round the other side!" "Outta my way!" "Hey!" "Come here!" "Cut him off!" "Jesus Christ!" "Hey!" "Close the doors!" "Okey-doke." "Come on." "Hey, somebody stop her!" "The girl on the bike!" "Come on!" "Close the doors!" "Angus, grab her!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Hey!" "yöu know what?" "I'm done." " Hello'?" " Hey, yöu out?" "Holy shit!" "That was the most fun I ever had with my clothes on!" "yöu know what to tell him?" "I'm on it." "I need a flash mob, like, five minutes ago." "24/7 Delivery." " Moosey, it's Raj." " Hey, what's up, Raj?" "I need the cavalry, bro." "No shit." "Where we going?" "Roadrunner." "Thought I told yöu not to call me, Raj." "Really?" "Hey, it's Phoebe." "Who's at the bridge?" "Cyclehawk." "This is Johnny." "Yeah." "I got it." "I got it." "Well, tell him I got it." "He can send whoever he wants, the Red Army, General Chow, I don't give a hoot." "Yeah, I have the money." "147, Doyers Street." "Cross is Pell." "Five minutes." " Check this out." " Man!" "That was a fauxback." "Shit." "Come on, I gotta go." "I gotta go." "Time to ride!" "Pay heed, people!" "Here we go!" "yöu know how they say, "There's enough to go around for everybody"?" "There isn't." "Give me the ticket." "Yeah, yöu know the thing about these folks?" "They never testify." "Who's to say yöu didn't lunge at me?" "Give me the ticket." "What, is that yöur backup?" "Yup." "Them, too." "Suck it, douche bag." "Get off me!" "Stay the hell off me." "I said stay away!" "Sister Chen?" "Delivery." "Shit." "Yeah, what?" "What, huh?" "I'm a cop, yöu zipperheads." "What are yöu going to do?" "What?" "Wait a second." "Wait a second." "I need a..." "Okay..." "Okay, just gimme a break." "I need to think for a second." "Thank God." "Are yöu okay?" "I'll still take 6th Avenue at rush hour over an office with a view." "Might have to put on the suit someday, but not yet." "Fixed gear, steel frame, no brakes." "Can't stop." "Don't want to, either." ""Hope You've Liked  Enjoyed The Movie"" "Copyright from ecOtOne™" "Let's get this." "This is Joe's bike." "And that's where he ended up." " That's rough." " This is cool." "I mean, kids, don't try this at home or nothing, but, like..." "Seriously, let's get yöu to the hospital." "Copyright from ecOtOne™"