"Once upon a time, there was a little ogre named Shrek, who lived with his parents in a bog by a tree." "It was a pretty nasty place but he was happy because ogres like nasty." "On his birthday the little ogre's parents sat him down to talk just as all ogre parents had for hundreds of years before." "Listen son, you're growing up so quickly" "Growing up, bigger by the day" "Although we want you here, the rules are very clear" "Now you're seven" "Now you're seven" "So it's time to go away" "Your Mama packed a sandwich for your trip" "Your Papa packed your boots in case of snow" "You're gonna make us proud, no backing up allowed" "Just keep walking" "Just keep hawking" "And you'll find somewhere to go" "It's a big, bright, beautiful world" "With happiness all around" "It's peaches and cream" "And every dream comes true" "But not for you" "It's a big, bright, beautiful world" "With possibilities everywhere" "And just around the bend" "There's a friend or two" "But not for you" "We're ugly son which means that life is harder" "People hate the things they cannot understand" "And when they look at us they tend to make a fuss" "Burn our houses down" "And chase us" "Off our land" "It's important that you find a cozy cesspit" "A place no one would ever dare to tread" "And if they happen by, make sure you terrify them" "If you don't son" "If you don't son" "Then you'll surely wind up dead" "Goodbye" "Goodbye" "Watch out for men with pitchforks" "And so, the little ogre went in his marry wind." "And whatever he went," "Crowds will welcome him with festive torches, and ashes, and something like that." "And whenever the little ogre try to join in the fun" "His new friends suddely realize they had other things to do" "So the ogre went to his parents and found a perfectly rancid swamp" "There he stayed for many years, all alone, very happy for his life have turned down." "Keep your big, bright, beautiful world" "I'm happy where I am, all alone" "I've got all I need" "So read the stinkin' sign, haha" "Keep your big, bright, beautiful world" "I party on my own anyway" "Doing what I can with a one man conga line" "Yeah, your big, bright, beautiful world" "Is all teddy bears and unicorns" "Take your fluffy fun" "And shove it where the sun don't shine" "I prefer a life like this" "It's not that complicated" "Sure I'm fated to be lonely" "And I'm destined to be hated" "If you read the books they say" "That's why I was created" "But I don't care" "Coz being liked" "Is grossly overrated" "Who needs a big, bright, beautiful world" "I've got my own little patch on the world" "It's not a big, bright, beautiful world" "But it's mine" "Alone, it's mine" "And it's mine" "All mine!" "Right this way" "Don't mind the mud." "You'll get used to it" "This place is a dump!" "It's awful!" "xxx xxx" "Look, you all read Lord Farquaad's decree." "Yeah, yeah,we read it." ""All fairytale creatures have been banished from the kingdom of Duloc." "All fruitcakes and freaks will be sent to a resettlement facility."" "It smells like burn." "Alright, when I call your name step forward." "Pinocchio, the puppet." "I'm not a puppet I'm a real boy." "That's your patch of mud down there." "Right here." "Ugly Duckling!" "Oh, dumped on a swamp." "Man, I tell you sometimes being a fairytale creature sucks pine sap." "Life is disappointing," "Whoa is what I know." "Outted by my nose," "That's just how it goes," "For poor Pinocchio." "Story of my life," "Always doomed to fail." "Cheated by a fox," "Swallowed by a whale." "That's the story of my life, oh yeah," "That's the story of my life." "Three Bears, take your spot over there by that sign." "No, that's too far." "Too close." "Ahh, just right." "Strife is never ending." "Banished from the town" "They dragged me from the pond." "They pulled my magic wand." "They blew our condos down." "Life is but a witch hunt." "Mama's in the mud," "Mama's in distress." "They ridiculed my hat." "They said that we were fat." "They tore my cotton granny dress," "And called me a hot and tranny mess." "Sugar Plum Fairy!" "Story of my life." "Booted from ball" "Told to go away." "Tumbled off a wall" "That's the story of my life." "You're late rabbit." "That's the story of my life." "Have fun you guys" "That's the story of my life." "And remember if we find you back in the kingdom you will be executed." "I always dreamed I'd get a happy ending." "And this right here," "Not how it goes." "I always dreamed I'd get an ever after." "If this is it," "It blows" "This is worse than that case of Dutch Elm Disease I caught in Tijuana." "Story of my life," "All the wasted prayers." "All the broken dreams." "All the broken chairs." "All the damage done" "All the busted beds." "All the shattered falls" "Pourage on our heads." "That's the story of my life, yes sir." "That's the story of my life, oi vei." "That's the story of my," "Life" "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP?" "Well gosh, we were forced to come here." "Forced?" "By who?" "Lord Farquaad!" "He hoofed und he poofed, und he signed an eveection notice." "Huh." "Well, not my problem." "Now you all need to turn around and go back where you came from." "Go back?" "!" "We can't go back." "Farquaad will turn us into bratvurst!" "The guy's bad news." "Hei, maybe you could talking to him." "Yeah, he'll listen to you!" "You're big and scary." "I'm also an ogre, which means I stay on my swamp and avoid large crowds." "Or haven't you read the stories?" "You mean those stories that say I'm big "bad" wolf?" "And the ones that say I'm a "wicked" witch?" "Or the ones that say I'm a "wooden" boy!" "What?" "I'm not a wooden boy." "I have a glandular condition." "Look here, ogre," "I'm gonna spell it out for ya." "We don't want us here any more than you do." "But you're the only one tough enough to stand up to that no-good flim-flammer Farquaad." "Tough enough?" "You don't even know me." "I always dreamed I'd get a happy ending" "It was foretold in my horoscope." "Can't ya help us out with an ever after?" "Can't you see that you're our only hope?" "You're our only hope." " Hope." "You're our only hope." "H-o-p-e hope" "You're our only hope." "Esperanza" "Okay, fine, I get it!" "attention all..." "fairytale things!" "Your welcome is officially worn out!" "I'm gonna go see this Farquaad guy right now, and get you all off my land and back where you came from!" "Yay!" "Time to say goodbye!" "Time to say farewell!" "Time for you to fly!" "It's been really swell!" "Gosh, I'm gonna cry!" "Time to say goodbye!" "I'll be right back." "Time to say vamoose!" "Don't get comfortable!" "Ogre on the loose!" "And don't touch my..." "Time to say goodbye!" "Don't die!" "Stop that Donkey!" "how are you doing?" "Aw, that's not very nice." "It's just a Donkey." "Step aside, ogre, and let us at him." "Why?" "What did he do?" "I don't wanna die." "I don't wanna die." "I don't wanna die..." "He's a talking donkey." "A freak of nature." "As are you, you unsavory beast." "Hey now, you're going the right way for a smacked bottom, you are." "by the order of Lord Farquaad," "I am authorized to place you both under arrest." "Under arrest, eh?" "This is the part where you run away." "And don't come back!" "Can I just say?" "That was incredible." "Man, they were trippin' over themselves to get away from you." "I liked that." "Oh good, I'm glad, now why don't you go celebrate your narrow escape with your friends?" "But I don't have any friends." "Now there's a shocker." "Say, you lost or something?" "No, I'm just trying to figure out the best route to Duloc." "Oh Duloc!" "I know Duloc." "You gotta let me show you the way, because I am like a GPS with fur!" "I'll be fine on my own, thanks." "But nobody's fine on their own!" "Not when you look like we do!" "Hey!" "Didn't you hear what they said?" "Man this place is goin' Stepford!" "We gotta join forces!" "Otherwise they're gonna lock me up!" "And I can not go back in a cage!" "I don't know if I mentioned it or not, but I did six years in solitary for impersonating a piñata." "Whoa, that was really scary." "And if you don't mind me saying, if that don't work your breath'll certainly get the job done." "Listen, little Donkey, take a Look at me." "What am I?" "Ahhh... really green?" "No!" "I'm an ogre!" "You know grab your torch and pitchforks!" "Doesn't that bother you?" "Nope." "Really really." "Oh... ?" "Man, I like you." "What's your name?" "Shrek" "Shrek?" "Huh." "Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek?" "You got that whole, "I don't care what anybody thinks of me"thing." "I like that, I respect that, Shrek You all right." "Hey, hey, hey!" "You gotta let me go with you!" "You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak!" "Well maybe you do." "But that's why we gotta stick together!" "No, no, no!" "Don't speak, don't speak, don't speak!" "Just hear me out!" "I might surprise you." "I'll be a friend, when others despise you." "Don't roll your eyes!" "Stop with the moping'." "You need a pal!" "My calendar's open!" "I'll bring you soup, when you feel congested." "I'll bail you out, when you get arrested!" "I got your back, wha, when things get scary." "And I'll shave it, when it gets hairy!" "Don't let me go!" "Don't let me go!" "Don't let me go!" "You need me!" "You need me!" "I'll treat you right, and never get shoddy." "If you kill a man, I'll hide the body!" "So what do you say?" "You're not responding..." "I think we're bonding!" "Don't let me go." "Don't let me go." "Don't let me go!" "You need me." "You and me, we belong together." "Like butter and grits," "Like kibbles and bits," "Like yin and yang," "Stern and Trang," "Like Eng and Chang, attached at the hip" "But not an old lady hip that might break" "I'm gonna be on you like a fat kid on cake!" "Like Cupid and Psyche, like pop rocks and Mikey, we'll stick together like that Velcro stuff, I'm the fuzzy side; you'll be the spiky." "Ooh!" "Like little kids and pajamas with those funny things at the bottom, you know, feeties." "Like donuts and... oh, what goes with donuts?" "Donuts and diabetes!" "Don't let me go!" "Don't let me go!" "Don't let me go!" "Don't let me go!" "Hold me!" "Hug me!" "Take me, please!" "Na-na-na-na-na-na, please don't let me go!" "I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you," "Don't let me go, Go!" "Go!" "Don't let me g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-go!" "Alright, look, only because I'm lost, you can come..." "Yeah!" "Woo-hoo, alright...!" "On one condition!" "You keep the jabbering to a minimum." "You got it!" "No jabbering!" "Man, you will not regret this." "Too late." "Now that's what I'm talking about!" "Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart friends off on a whirl wind big city adventure!" "Farquaad is on his way." "He's on his way" "He is nearly here." "He's down the hall Getting close." "He is just outside." "Behind the door." "He is on his way." "Here he is." "Right here." "Thelonius, I'm ready." "Bring in the cookie." "Ohhhh, gosh." "Uh oh, what's happening now?" "Oooo, this is scary." "Ohhh, geez Ohh, no." "Ohhh, it's you..." "Run, run, run as fast as you can, you can't catch me..." "I'm the Gingerbread Man!" "Look what you've done to my legs!" "You're a monster!" "I'm not the monster here, you are." "You and the rest of that fairy tale trash poisoning my perfect world." "I know how I have to got then all!" "So tell me, where are the others!" "Eat me!" "No!" "I've tried to be fair to you creatures, but now my patience has reached its end!" "Tell me or I'll...!" "No!" "Not the buttons!" "Not my gumdrop bottons!" "Alright then, Who is hidden then?" "!" "Okay..." "I'll tell you." "Do you know the Muffin Man?" "the Muffin Man?" "the Muffin Man." "Yes, I know the Muffin Man." "Who lives on Drury Lane?" "Well, she is married to the Muffin Man." "The Muffin Man?" "!" "Marry to the Muffin Man!" "We strolled entirely the place" "And finally found the one treasure the most chic." "A pretty poney?" "No!" "It's the magic mirror." "Sir," "Oh!" "the one." "Bring it in!" "and bring that cookie to the swamp!" "Swamp?" "!" "Mirror, mirror on the wall, is this not the most perfec kingdom of them all?" "Not yet, Dunloc is a wonder land, but there's one thing you forgot, you're not the king, and so there's no kingdom, at all." "Thelonius, You are saying!" "What I mean is you're not a king yet but you can become one." "All you have to do is marry a Princess." "Go on." "So, just Sit back and relax, my lord, because is time to play the Dulocs fastest growing show in date share." "This is your life!" "Bachelorette number one." "is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away." "She likes sushi and hot tubbing anytime." "Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters." "Please wellcome..." "Cinderella!" "Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of fancy." "Although she lives with seven other men, but she's not easy." "Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is." "Come on." "Give it up for Snow White!" "Bachelorette number three lives in a dragon guarded castle, surrounded by hot boiling lava." "But don't let that cool you off." "She likes pina colads and getting caught in the rain." "Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona!" "So will it be bachelorette number 1, bachelorette number 2 or bachelorette number 3?" "There's no 4." "Okay, okay, uh, number three!" "Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess Fiona!" "Ooo, Princess Fiona, she's perfect." "Except for that dragon and lava thing." "I'll have to find someone else to do..." "I shall make Fiona my Queen, and Duloc will finally have the perfect King!" "Yes, but there's something else..." "Captain, round up your men, summon the citizens, tell the Royal Coiffuer I need to get my hair pressed." "We're going to get a queen!" "but you miss my special feature." "Check this out." "I got a extra!" "Fiona's pottery gallery the story of the curse just click on back story." "And you can see the Princess, when she was 7 years old." "Settle in girls." "It's story time!" "There's a princess" "In a tower" "Oh my gosh, that's just like me" "Poor Rapunzel" "Needs a haircut" "But the witch won't set her free" "She passes time by singing" "Like someone else I know" "As years go by she sits and waits..." "As years go by?" "Uh oh" "A torturous existence" "I don't remember this part!" "She wishes she were dead?" "Skip ahead skip ahead!" "But in the end Rapunzel finds a millionaire" "The prince is good at climbing and braiding golden hair!" "So I know, he'll appear" "Cause there are rules and there are strictures" "I believe the storybooks I read by candlelight" "My white knight, and his steed" "Will look just like these pictures!" "It won't be long now, I guarantee!" "Day number...23." "I know its today" "I know its today" "Oh here's a good one!" "It's a classic!" "There's a princess" "In a coma" "Glad its her instead of me." "Pretty maiden" "In a glass box" "How I wonder does she pee?" "Blah blah blah, poison apple" "Boring boring evil queen" "Filler filler, been there, read that!" "Seven shorties on the scene." "Skip ahead, skip ahead..." "But in the end the princess wakes up with a start" "The prince is good at kissing" "And melting Snow White's heart!" "So I know, he'll appear" "And his armor will be blinding!" "As shining as his perfect teeth" "And then repose" "He'll propose" "On one knee" "And our prenupt will be binding!" "About time we set the wedding date!" "Day number...958." "I know it's today." "He'll show up today..." "There's a princess" "Any princess" "Take your pick, they're all like me" "Not exactly, I'm still waiting they're living happily" "Ever after better get here" "I want love in seconds flat" "No one needs these middle bits" "Oops, did I do that?" "Cut the villains, cut the vamping" "Cut this fairytale" "Cut the peril and the pitfalls" "Cut the puppet and the whale" "Cut the monsters, cut the curses" "Keep the intro, cut the verses" "And the waiting, the waiting, the waiting, the waiting" "The waiting!" "But I know, he'll appear" "Though I seem a bit bipolar" "And I'm a vandal now as well, though he won't mind" "I'm a find, I'm a catch" "And a very gifted bowler!" "It won't be long now, I guarantee!" "Day number..." "Are you there God?" "It's me Fiona..." "It's me Fiona!" "Now I know, he'll appear" "Cause there are rules and there are strictures" "I believe the storybooks I read by candlelight" "My white knight, my knight and his steed" "Will look just like these pictures!" "It won't be long now, I guarantee!" "Day number 23" "Day number 958" "Day number 8423" "I know its today," "I know its today," "I know its today," "I know its today," "I know its today," "I Know it's today" "The rules are very simple, whoever spots a horse and cart along the road..." "Punch buggy!" "Fun, right?" "No!" "What kinda insane game is that?" "Haven't you ever been on a road trip?" "No." "Man, you need to get out more, because..." "Punch buggy!" "I gotcha with that wagon full of hay over there." "Donkey, if you do that one more time..." "See, that's another reason you need me around." "Who else is gonna fill you in on all the fun stuff you missed out on?" "You may not know it, but you are on lucky ogre to meet up with..." "Punch buggy!" "Mutton cart at three o'clock." "Mother Hubbard, that hurt!" "You know, you're right, that was pretty fun." "Shall we play again?" "No, that's okay, you win." "Maybe we should move on to I Spy, or I Went on a Picnic, or something that isn't gonna put me in a body-cast." "Donkey, look!" "Lord Farquaad's castle." "Didn't I tell you I'd find it?" "It's a bit much isn't it?" "Do you think he might be compensating for something?" "Ah, forget it." "Welcome to the Duloc Fetch a Princess festival!" "The show's about to begin!" "Hey!" "Hey, you!" "Oh, now come on, I'm not gonna eat ya!" "I just..." "Uhhhh... ohhh..." "whyyyyy!" "whyyyyy?" "!" "This place is weird." "Let's find this Farquaad guy and get outta here." "Oo, I wanna stop in the gift shop to get a t-shirt." "We're not stopping for t-shirts." "Welcome to Duloc, such a perfect town." "Here we have some rules, let us lay them down." "Don't make waves, stay in line, and we'll get along fine." "Duloc is a perfect place." "Please keep off the grass" "Shine your shoes, wipe your...face." "Duloc is, Duloc is, Duloc is a perfect place." "And here's the man who made it happen!" "That towering colossus of moxie!" "Looooooooord Farquaad!" "Oh, it's you!" "What a terrific surprise." "Once upon a time this place was infested." "Freaks on every corner" "I had them all arrested" "Hey nonny-nonny-nonny-no" "If you had a quirk, you didn't pass inspection." "We all have our standards, but I will have perfection." "And sooooo..." "And sooooo..." "Things are looking up here in Duloc." "Just take a look!" "The things I'm cooking up here in Duloc." "He likes to cook!" "A model that amazes." "A plan with seven phases." "Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum" "Things are looking up here in Duloc" "They're looking up!" "In Duloc!" "The ladies all look swell." "Ahhhh..." "The men are so dashing." "Ahhh..." "Thanks to my new dress code," "The fashion's never clashing." "Hey nonny-nonny-nonny-no." " This castle I had built" " Farquaad..." "Farquaad..." "Farquaad" " is taller than the cliff-tops." " Farquaad..." "Farquaad..." "Farquaad" " A city like a postcard" " Farquaad..." "Farquaad..." "Farquaad" "A monorail and gift shops!" " And so..." " And so..." " And so..." " And so..." "And so..." "No one from the gutter in Duloc." "He's takin' aim!" "Embrace the cookie cutter in Duloc." "We're all the same!" "The upshot is enormous when you can shout..." ""Conform us!"" "Yes!" "Things ... are... looking up..." "Here in Duloc." "Hey, let's hear it for those Duloc dancers!" "Aren't they terrific?" "!" "There's no sign of slowing!" "We're growing!" "We're growing!" "Look, he's growing!" "And growing!" "And growing!" "Look at him groooow!" "Things!" "Are looking up here" "We practiced this part both forward and back." "We make one mistake, and we get the rack!" "Things!" "I'm cooking up here" "He taught us to dance with razzamatazz!" "He's trained in ballet, flamenco and jazz!" "My hard work, and my rigor, have made me so much bigger!" "Things are looking uuuuup..." "Things are looking uuuuup..." "Things are looking uuuuup... here in Duloc!" "Ah-ah-ah-ah!" "Here in Duloc!" "Ah-ah-ah-ah!" "Up...up..." "Up...up..." "Uuuuuuuuup!" "And now good people of Duloc, the moment you've all been waiting for!" "The raffle drawing to determine who will have the honor of setting forth to rescue the lovely Princess Fiona from the fiery keep of the dragon!" "Spin that barrel!" "Uh, excuse me." "Hey, are you Lord Farquaad?" "Maybe." "Does the name strike fear in your heart?" "No, but that little hat does." "Who let this thing in here?" "Look, I'll be out of your silky hair just as soon as you gimme my swamp back." "Your swamp?" "Yes, where you dumped those fairytale creatures." "Newsflash, ogre, that oozing mud pit is actually within the province of Duloc, and therefore under my jurisdiction." "Now look here, Half-Pint..." "Wait... a... minute." "Oh this is too perfect." "What is?" "You!" "You're big and hulking and..." "wonderfully expendable." "People of Duloc, we have a winner!" "Congratulations, ogre." "You've won the honor to embarking on a great and noble quest!" "But we're already on a quest." "To get my swamp back." "Yes, and you've nearly accomplished it!" "All you need to do is one more simple little task, and I'll hand over the deed to your swamp." "And what exactly is this "little task"?" "my people, your queen is on her way things are looking up things are looking up things are looking up here in Duloc!" "here in duloc!" "and no one's gonna bring me" "DOWN!" "AAHH" ""Little task" my hooves." "rescue a princess, fight a dragon." "We've got jackets." "We!" "I don't remember inviting a Donkey on this legal material." "I don't give a trick." "Why didn't you just make him give you your swamp back?" "Pull some of that ogre stuff on him?" "You know, throttle him, lay siege to his fortress?" "The whole ogre trip." "For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think." "Example?" "Example?" "Okay, ogres are like onions." "They stink?" "Yes " " No!" "They make you cry?" "No!" "You leave them in the sun, they get all brown, start sprouting' little white hairs." "No!" "Layers!" "Onions have layers." "Ogres have layers!" "Onions have layers." "You get it?" "We both have layers." "Oh, you both have layers." "Oh." "You know, not everybody likes onions." "Parfaits!" "Everybody likes parfaits!" "And they have layers." "Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait,"" "They say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfait"?" "Parfaits are delicious." "I don't care!" "Ogres are not like parfaits!" "Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet." "You know, this may turn into the longest day of my entire life" "Oo!" "I got the perfect remedy for that!" "Oh no." "I am not interested." "Sing a song" "Yes a travel song when you gotta go somewhere" "'Cause the fun is getting there." "Yeah." "Oh what the heck, I must confess" "I love a road trip!" "Sing a song." "Hit the trail." "Forget the maps." "Forget the guides." "Before ya know it, you've made strides with me." "And I know - all I need - all along is a path - and a pal - and a song, so I'm singin', and I'm pallin' with you," "See?" "It makes the time go by faster!" "Why me?" "Why me?" "This is nice." "Tell me what was my crime?" "We are strolling" "He's as chatty as a parrot." "More annoying than a mime." "Hey, look, a cat who's wearing boots!" "That's crazy!" "Why me?" "Why me?" "A simple answer would be fine" "This is good cardio" "Won't someone please send me a sign?" "Oh look, a sign!" "Yunita Pal Avenue straight ahead!" "What did I do to deserve this?" "Honestly" "This ass 'o mine is asinine" "WHY ME?" "!" "oh you did a little bunny." "I did delicious." "What's so funny?" "I just got the, "He must be compensating for something", joke." "Oh man, what could be better than this?" "!" " Why me?" "Why me?" " Sing a song, hit the road." " A simple answer would be fine - it's the way to get around." " Won't somebody please send me a sign?" "Before ya know it you've gained ground with me." " What did I do." " And I know all I need all along." " To deserve this?" "Honestly." " Is a path and a pal and a song." " This ass 'o mine" " So, I'm singin'and I'm pallin is asinine" "Finally, the bridge to the dragon's keep, let's go" "Shrek, remember when you said ogres have layers?" "I have a bit of a confession to make..." "Donkeys don't have layers." "We wear our fear right out there on our sleeves." "You can't tell me you're afraid of heights?" "Ah..." "No..." "I'm just a bit unconfortable about being on a rickety bridge over a boiling lake of lava." "oh is so sweet that thing..." "Because will have tragedy for that." "You do?" "What are you doing?" "Sing a song, a travel song." "That's all you done all day." "Before you know it, you're have played with me." "Ignore the fire, and the pin roll." "and the lava." "And a know what a need all along." "Is a path, and a pal and a song." "So I'm singin'" "And I'm pallin' with you." "Why me, why me." "Why god oh I" "I'm too old to wed myself, but much young to die." "I'm lookin' down!" "Shrek." "I'm lookin' down." "Oh, God, I can't do this!" "Just let me off, please!" "Are you crazy!" "I'm goin' to not gonna drop ya." "What did I do to deserve you," "My pal evermore." "we crossed a bridge together," "What a beautiful metaphor." " Why me, why me, why me..." " I'm singin', And I'm pallin', and I'm travelin'..." "With you, oo oo oo oo..." "That'll do Donkey." "That'll do." "Ohh!" "Shrek!" "Was that you?" "You gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off." "My mouth was open and everything." "Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead." "It's brimstone." "Yeah, right, brimstone." "Don't be talking it's the brimstone." "I know what I smell." "It wasn't no brimstone." "It didn't come off no stone neither." "Oh hey, this'll come in handy." "Hope it's fire proof." "Alright, now you wait here and I'll be back in a bit." "Wait here?" "You mean by myself?" "Unless you'd rather come slay the dragon and rescue the princess?" "Uhhhh...no, I'm good." "Waiting is fine." "I just stay here, and twitle my hooves." "And don't get in any trouble." "What trouble can I get in?" "I'm just seated and waiting." "Have a little flair." "Shrek, is... that... you?" "Oh, Dragon!" "Well, hello gorgeus!" "is in the time already." "What's your name, Donkey?" "My name..." "Oh." "What a coincidence." "That's his name too." "And his..., and his..." "and his... and his..." "You didn't knock when you entered, baby" "You didn't wipe your feet." "Aww, geez." "I didn't see no Open House sign." "Is this is a Trick or Trade?" "OO-oo-oo!" "A little help here!" "You need to brush up on fairytales, friend." "Cause dragons like their sleep." "Go on and grab some shut-eye!" "I wrote the book on fire-breathing." "Why don't you read it and we-ee-eep?" "I'm actually already in a book club." "We're reading Angela's Ashes." "I'm gonna shake you." "I'm gonna bake you." "I'm gonna make you a donkey pot pie." "What?" "Salisbury steak you" "I'll frosted flake you" "I'll paty-cake you, my donkey pot pie" "Yeah!" "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!" "What a minute!" "My, what big teeth you have." "They're so... sparkling' white." "I bet you hear this from all of your food, but you much bleach at night." "Is that a hint of minty freshness." "(Oh, I am scared to death!" ")" "I like a girl with a dazzling' smile." "And tic-tac on her breath." "Oh-oh-oh..." "Don't kill me, lady with the pretty teeth." "I'm gonna love you," "Uh-oh." "And take hold of you." "I'll velvet glove you..." "Velvet glove me?" "My donkey pot pie!" "I'm gonna keep you." "Little Little Bo Peep you." "I'm gonna sweep you up into the skyyyyyyyy." "I'm gonna squeeze you." "I'm gonna tease you." "I'm gonna please you." "I'm gonna have me a big ol' honkin' sloppy gloppy cherry on the toppy piece of donkey!" "Pot!" "Pie..." "Na-nana-nanana!" "Donkey!" "Donkey!" "Donkey!" "Pot!" "Pie!" "I know it's today..." "I know it's today..." "I know it's today..." "Hellooooo!" "Anyone up there?" "!" "Shouldn't you toss down some hair or something?" "I should've worn my cup," "Phew." "Aw great, I got one of the snoozers." "Wake-up!" "Uhl-Uhl-hul!" "Are you Princess Fiona?" "I am." "Awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me." "Ah, that's nice." "Now let's go." "But wait, Sir Knight!" "I have long awaited this day!" "And I wouldn't first like to knowest the name of my champion." "Um..." "Shrek" "Sir, Shrek..." "I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude." "Thanks." "So where's the door?" "There is no door." "What do you mean there's no door?" "How do we get down?" "Why, the same way you got up?" "The same way I ...?" "!" "Oh come on!" "just...!" "Alright then, let's go." "Now holdest on, Sir Knight." "Don't you want to savor this moment?" "It be-eth our first meeting." "It must be a wonderful and romantic scene." "Aw geez, I'm like a crackpot magnet." "This is how a dream comes true." "This is how I pictured you." "Climbing in to rescue me." "This was always mean to be." "This is how a scene must go." "Standing there the light just so." "Then you smile and gaze at me." "Take my hand on bended knee." "Bended knee." "Bended knee!" "So even though we only met." "Somehow I always knew, it would look like this" "When dreams come true." "Hey, What are you doing?" "I have to save my ass." "Easy i'm in heels!" "Brave sir Knight, slow down a bit." "Shut-in girls are delicate." "I've longed for this my whole life long." "and now your doing it all wrong!" "Got a rope a steed awaits." "That's what every story sates." "Riding over ruff terrain." "Pass the dragon you have slayed." "you have slayed you have slayed" "Its on my to do list." "WHAT?" "Donkey over here!" "Oh, you found the princess" "It talks." "Ya but the real trick is getting him to shut up" "Are you there God?" "It's me Fiona" "Less praying more running" "Tra la la la la" "This way instead" "Tra la la la la" "Tore ahead" "In the end remember all your dreams come tru-Ah!" "Say your affirmations and love will come to you" "If you can conceive it, believe it, achieve it" "Wooh!" "Mad dragon yay!" "Skeletons hurray!" "Pretending I'm not here" "Nothing more to fear" "Pink ponies happy sky, pink ponies happy sky" "Pink ponies happy sky, Pink ponies happy sky" "Oh my God we're gonna die" "This is how I pictured it." "More or less I must admit." "Fluttering in my heart." "A life about to start." "I knew this day would come, and you would find your way," "At last my dream comes true." "I knew, I knew, I knew, it would be today!" "You did it!" "You-did-it" "You're amazing," "You're wonderful," "You're... a little unorthodox I'll admit but..." "Thy deed is great, and thine heart is pure." "I am eternally in your debt." "Ahem." "And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed?" "Alright!" "I hope you heard that." "She called me a "noble steed!"" "She think I'm a steed." "Well, Sir Shrek, the battle is won." "You may remove your helmet." "Ahhh...no." "Why not?" "I..." "I have helmet hair." "Please, I wouldest look upon the face of my rescuer." "Oh no, you wouldn't..." "But..." "How will you kiss me?" "What?" "That wasn't in the job description." "Maybe it's a perk." "No... it's destiny." "A princess is rescued by a brave knight and then they share true love's first kiss." "With shrek?" "You think that Shrek is your true love?" "Hahahaha!" "What is so funny?" "Well, let's just say" "I'm not your type, okay?" "Of course you are." "You're my rescuer!" "Now remove your helmet." "Look, I really don't think that's a good idea." "Just take off the helmet." "I'm not going to." "Take it off!" "No!" "NOW!" "Okay!" "Easy." "As you command, Your highness..." "You're... an ogre?" "Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming?" "Well... yes actually." "Oh no." "I'm supposed to be rescued by my true love!" "Not by some ogre and his...pet." "Well so much for noble steed." "you're not supposed to be an ogre." "Princess," "I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay?" "He's the one who wants to marry you." "Oh." "Then why didn't he come rescue me?" "Good question." "You should ask him that when we get there tomorrow." "Tomorrow?" "Oh my gosh, it's almost sunset!" "So?" "I didn't realize it was so late." "We need to make camp." "Camp?" "But you've just escaped!" "Yes, and I found the whole ordeal quite exhausting." "I need to rest immediately." "That's unfortunate, because we're gonna keep going." "I NEED TO FIND SOMEWHERE TO CAMP RIGHT NOW!" "Very well." "There's a cave right there." "Shrek!" "That's no place for a princess." "No, no. it's perfect." "Well gentlemen," "I bid thee good night!" "You want me to read you a bedtime story?" "Cause I will." "I said GOOD NIGHT!" "She seems nice." ""By day one way, by night another..." "This shall be the norm, until you find true love's first kiss and then take loves true form."" "And this is what I realized..." "If we escaped a dragon, then we could do anything." "Man, I could be a steed." "Or I could work the Crusades circuit if I wanted to." "I could even be one of those horses who pull those wagons full of beer!" "I'd need some hair extensions on my ankles, but I could do it." "Who do you wanna be?" "I don't wanna be anyone." "Just for fun though, who would you pick?" "I wouldn't." "But if you had to." "Donkey..." "Like if a guy had a sword at your throat and was like," ""Look here, you can't be an ogre anymore, pick something else", then who would you pick?" "I would pick that guy up and hurl him into a tree!" "Man, you are no fun at all, you know it?" "Is this what it's gonna be like when we finish rescuing the princess?" "us sitting around our swamp all day doing nothing?" "Our swamp?" "Donkey, there is no our." "There's no we." "There's just me and my swamp." "And when I do get back, the first thing I'm gonna do is build a ten foot wall around my land." "You cut me deep, Shrek." "You cut me real deep just now..." "What's your problem anyway?" "What do you got against the whole world?" "I'm not the one with the problem, okay?" "It's the world who seems to have a problem with me." "You saw how that princess reacted." "That's how it always is." "People take one look at me and it's all," ""Aghhh!" "Help!" "A big stupid ugly ogre!"" "They judge me before they even know me." "That's why I'm better off alone." "But you know what, Shrek?" "When we met, I didn't think you was just a big, stupid ugly ogre." "Yeah I know." "So there's really no one else you'd rather be?" "I thought I'd be a hero, With sword and armor clashing" "Looking semi dashing, A shield within my grip" "Or else I'd be a Viking, live a life of daring" "While smelling like a herring, upon a Viking ship." "I'd sail away, I'd see the world, I'd reach the farthest reaches" "I'd feel the wind, I'd taste the salt and sea." "And maybe storm some beaches." "That's who I'd be." "That's who I'd be." "I dreamed I'd be a poet, Write a different story," "One that told of glory, and wiped away the lies" "And to the skies I'd throw it, the stars would do the telling" "The moon would help with spelling, and night would dot the 'I's" "I'd write my verse, Recite my joke, it'd fit in perfect timing." "I'd share my heart, confess the things I learn, and do it all while rhyming." "But then we learn." "But then we learn." "And Ogre always hides, an Ogre's fate is known" "And Ogre always stays in the dark and all alone" "So yes I'd be a hero and if my wish was granted" "My life would be enchanted, or so the stories say." "Of course I'd be a hero, and I would scale a tower" "And save a hot-house flower, and carry her away" "But standing guard there'd be a beast, I'd somehow overwhelm it," "I'd get the girl, I'd take my breath, and I'd remove my helmet." "We'd stand and stare, we'd speak of love, we'd feel the stars ascending" "We'd share a kiss, I'd find my destiny" "I'd have a hero's ending, a perfect happy ending." "That's how it would be" "A big bright beautiful world" "But not for me." "An ogre always hides." "An ogres fate is know." "An ogre always stays" "In the dark and all alone" "All Alone" "So yes i'd be a hero, and if my wish was granted my life would be enchanted or so the stories say." "Of course I'd be a hero and I would scale a tower to save a hothouse flower and carry her away!" "A perfect happy ending, thats how... it... should be!" "Good morning birds good morning trees ohh what a lovely day" "The sun's so big it Hurts my eye but really that's ok" "A brand new day more things to do so many plans to make" "I've had 6 cups of coffee so I'm really wide awake" "I've always been a morning person a morning girl" "Hurray" "Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep" "Hurray" "Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep" "Hurray" "Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep" "Hurray" "Good morning dear say have you heard to day's my wedding day" "I haven't met my husband yet" "I'm hopeful anyway" "Ill wear a gown well have a ball and dance for ever more he'll take me in his massive arms and spin me in the floor" "I've always been a morning Person" "A Morning girl" "Hurray" "Why, good morning Pied Piper." "Bah, what's so good about it?" "I can't get these stupid rats to follow me!" "I think you may need to change your tune." "Mister." "Hey!" "Look here, lady..." "A brand new start." "A palette cleanse." "As fresh as lime sorbet." "Last night I was a monster but this morning... this morning... this morning..." "I'm okay!" "This morning I'm okay!" "Oh, why good morning, men." "Mornin'." "Uhh, princess, did you by any chance eat a few of those funny little mushrooms by the stream?" "Of course not." "I'm just happy that it's a new day, full of promise and fresh starts!" "And the first thing I'd like to do is apoloogize for my behavior yesterday." "We obviously got off on the wrong foot, and I'd like to make it up to you." "You would?" "Yes, you did rescue me after all." "So I've gathered a basket of berries for the trip, and I made you each a daisy chain!" "Oh look at these!" "They're beautiful, princess!" "Aren't they beautiful, Shrek?" "Uhhh...ihhhhh..." "You'll grow to love'em, I promise." "Lead the way!" "So, Princess, do you often frolic with rats?" "And what if I do?" "Oh, I don't know, Princess..." "Germ infested vermin..." "Not exactly what I expected." "Well maybe you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them." "Ouch!" "So tell me about my groom to be." "Lord Farquaad." "What's he like?" "Well, let me put is this way, Princess..." "Men of Farquaad's stature are in short supply." "Really?" "Oh yeah, but he is a little intimidating." "Well he must be!" "And yet very good at small talk." "What are you guys doing?" "What?" "Just saying ya might wanna lower your expectations a bit." "Yeah, like three feet of so." "Alright, yuck it up." "Doesn't bother me." "Not today." "After a lifetime of misery, things are finally going my way." "Oh, a lifetime of misery, right." "Okay," "You chuckled." "When I said lifetime of misery." "You chuckled." "Did I?" "Yes." "Look, I'm sure it was very difficult living in a dragon guarded tower." "It was." "I'm sure." "Alright then." "Althrough, it must've been nice to have a roof, and a cozy bed." "Which is more than I had when I left home." "You're not actually comparing yourself to what I endured?" "I'm just saying you don't corner the market on unhappy childhoods." "There are things you don't know, ya know." "About me." "About how rough I had it!" "What, ya run out of shampoo a couple times?" "I mean about my life!" "In that cushy tower of yours?" "Cushy!" "Are you kidding?" "I had nothing in that tower" "Fighting boredom by the hour." "Princess lonely" "Walking circles" "I had only..." "Bare essentials army cot a hot plate and chamber pot." "And every morning I would boil it." "No choice I had no toilet." "Just a view of devastation out one window, isolation in my bedroom and very little headroom" "Twenty years I sat and waited" "I'm very dedicated" "On the walls the days were added" "Luckily those walls were padded so..." "I think I got you beat" "I think I got you beat yeah, yeah yeeeaaahh," "I think I got you beat" "Oh you think so." "That was a sad story but" "I've heard better I'm just saying" "A for effort thanks for playing" "Sad to see a princess suffer" "But I had it rougher" "Like that time a mob with torchers burned my britches" "See the scorches" "You're just whiney" "I had a flaming hiney" "As I fled I had to wonder" "If I were torn asunder" "Would an ogre go to Heaven" "Did I mention I was seven?" "So..." "I think I got you beat." "yeah, yeah, yeah" "I think I got you beat." "I think I got you beat." "No warm regards" "No Christmas cards" "And every day" "Was hell on earth day." "Okay top this." "I missed my prom" "My dad and mom sent me away, it was my birthday." "I was sent away on Christmas Eve." "Haha." "My dad and mom sent me away..." "So..." "So..." "I think I got you beat, yeah, yeah, yeah" "I think I got you beat, yeah, yeah, yeah" "I think I got you beat, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ,yeah" "Oopsy." "Ah well, better out than in I always say." "Nya-nay-nay-nana-nyow-nyow..." "Yeah, yeah." "Yeah, yeah." "Yeah, yeah." "Yeah, yeah." "We've just gotten word..." "Princess fiona has been rescued." "She's on her way." "On her way!" "She's on her way, and so am I!" "My fairytale princess." "I always said I'd be king, and now look!" "The las adorable piece to my master plan!" "Thank you, Thelonius." "Piña Colada!" "Just think they aren't writing books about me.." "Instead of those disgusting little freaks." "Oo, that reminds me, oh mirror!" "Yeeees, my lead." "how are the weddind preparations coming?" "All in order, my lord." "We've booked the cathedral and the band." "Although I did wonder if you wanted to maybe invite your father?" "My what?" "Your...father, my lord?" "Do you mean that horrible little man who tried to keep me down my whole life?" "That mal tempered monster?" "That vile grunt who abandoned me in the woods as a child!" "Well he did have his reasons." "Lackley, please." "My father simply couldn't accept that I wanted nothing to do with the family business." "That lowly, dirty family business" "My daddy was a miner" "So he wasn't much around" "Foraging for diamonds" "A life spent underground" "Daddy didn't talk much" "He barely said hello" "He'd simply mutter "Heigh ho"" "And off to work he'd go" "Daddy was grumpy..." "Me and my old man" "A tale as old as dirt" "A bitter distant father" "In a tiny undershirt" "Daddy up and left me" "Left me good as dead" "Now he lives in squalor" "Sleeping seven to a bed" "You abandoned me in those woods, daddy." "Well I crawled out!" "And up!" "Oh, if only you could see me now, daddy..." "I'd invite you to the wedding but you have to be" "THIS tall to get in!" "Hahahahahaha!" "My bride-to-be is gorgeous" "Her wedding dress, designer" "The guest list will be major" "Without a minor miner" "La la la la la la la la la la la la la" "Packs of royal lackeys" "Playing violin" "Strings of royal underlings" "Who will not let you in!" "Ha ha, ha ha, ha ha!" "Tricked out carriage!" "Twenty stallions!" "With a coachman named Raoul" "Big reception!" "With a boy band!" "And a royal deejay by the pool..." "Yes!" "I can see my future" "And so it shall be done" "It's total domination" "With some torture just for fun, hee hee!" "'Cause I will have my wedding And I will have a queen!" "And once I get that crown on" "You will get the guillotine" "And I'll punish you daddy" "'Cause I'm all grown up And bigger than you'll ever know!" "You're gonna pay daddy!" "It's any day daddy!" "I'm off to work" "Heigh ho!" "Are you okay?" "Yeh, I'm fine." "Yoohoo!" "We're here." "What?" "Oh wouldja look at that." "What is it?" "It's ..." "It's Duloc." "Oh." "Duloc." "I didn't realize we were so close." "No, me either." "Congratulations, Princess." "Your future awaits." "Yes, it does." "Ah well, so much for that batch of S'nothers I was gonna make us." "S'nothers?" "They're traditional ogre campfire snacks." "A little bit like S'mores but instead of marshmallow and chocolate, we use squirrel gizzards and mulch." "Oh, they just melt in your mouth!" "I think I need to sit down for a minute." "No, no sitting down." "We need to get the princess to Duloc." "No, wait, Shrek..." "I, um..." "Well, look, I may not get another chance to try one of those S'nothers..." "You eat one and you may not get a chance to do anything!" "Zip it , Donkey." "I was just thinking... maybe Duloc could wait until morning?" "Morning?" "Why not?" "I've spent my whole life without true love." "What's one more night?" "Alright, I'll find us some dinner." "I'll get the firewood." " Oops - sorry" " Were you gonna...?" " That's fine." "There's something going on around here" "I've been watching and the signals are clear" "A nervous laugh when she brushes his skin" "The sweaty palms, the big dopey grin" "Hmmm Hmmm Hmmm" "With a giggle and a flip of her hair" "I smell the pheromones in the air" "Making goo goo eyes over their food" "They need my help here in setting the mood" "Oh you don't believe love is blind?" "Well I got some friends who think otherwise." "And here they are." "Direct from my imagination." "Three Blind Mice" "Watch your step girls" "Three Blind Mice" "See how they run" "You got to turn up the heat" "You got to butter the pan" "You got to make a move and don't be afraid" "Reach for her hand" "And maybe give her a kiss" "She's waiting for a move to be made" "You got to" "Got to" "Got to" "Got to" "Got to" "Got to yea" "You got to make a move" "You got to make a move" "You got to make a move" "You got to make a move" "You got to make a move" "You got to make a move" "Yea" "Mm." "Mm." "These S'nothers are so good." "Didn't I tell ya?" "They're delicious." "And a little nutty, right?" "Mm." "Mm." "I guess I'll be dining a little differently tomorrow night." "Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime." "I'll cook all kinds of stuff for you..." "Swamp toad Soup, Fish Eye Tartar." "You name it." "Hmmm." "I'd like that." "Shrek, I know you can't hear me right now, but if you could I would want to say a few things to you I am in your corner buddy, but you have got to tell that girl" "what you are feeling deep down." "You may not get another chance." "So just go on now." "Just open your heart and" "Umm Princess" "Here we go" "Yes Shrek" "Oh he's gonna tell her" "I uh" "I can't take this" "Well I was uh" "Uh Huh" "I was wondering" "Ok" "I was wondering" "Spit it out!" "Are you gonna eat that?" "Man what is wrong with you" "You got to make a move" "You got to shift into gear" "You got to buckle down and give it a whirl" "The scene is set right out of a book" "With a sunset and a beautiful girl" "So you've got to" "Got to" "Got to" "Got to" "Got to" "Got to yea" "You got to make a move" "You got to make a move" "You got to make a move" "You've gotta" "Make a Move!" "yeah!" "oooh, ooh, oooh, oooh," "You've gotta use the sunset" "What a beautiful" "Sunset, baby!" "You've gotta use the sunset, baby!" "Woooah, woooah, wooah, yeah!" "You gotta reach for the ring" "You've gotta give it a shot" "Grab the bull by the horn" "Or give up the pot!" "whoo!" "And make a move" "In this romantic out of nature with butterflies, and beautiful sunset..." "Sunset?" "!" "Oh my gosh!" "Sunset!" "Oh no!" "I mean..." "It's late." "It's very late" " What?" " Wait a minute." "I see what's goin'on here." "You're afraid of the dark, aren't you?" "Yes!" "Yes, that's it." "I'm terrified." "You know, I'd better go inside." "I used to be afraid of the dark, too, until..." "Hey, no, wait." "I'm still afraid of the dark!" "I'm sorry, I have to go." "Oh. alright." "Good night." "Good night." "Uh, uh." "No sir." "I'm sorry, but I did not come this whole way, puttin'up with you and your body odor, just so you can let her walk away like that!" "What're you talking about?" "Hey, I'm an animal, and I go instincts, and you two were obviously digging on each other." "Oh, you're crazy." "I'm just bringing her back to Farquaad." "Uh, huh." "So you don't have any feelings for her at all?" "Look, even if I did... and I'm not saying I do, 'cause I don't." "She's a princess and I'm..." "An ogre?" "Yeah." "An ogre." "She needs to know." "Where are you goin?" "To get more wood." "Before your fire dies." "Princess..." "Princess Fiona..." "Princess, where are you?" "Princess... it's very spooky in here, I ain't playing no games..." "No!" "No!" "It's okay!" "Oh no!" "Help!" "Shrek!" "Donkey, it's okay!" "Shhh!" "What is it?" "Help me, Shrek!" "What'd you do with the Princess?" "Donkey, I am the Princess." "It's me." "In this body." "Oh my God." "you ate the Princess!" "Can you hear me?" "keep breathing!" "I'll get you out of there!" "Donkey!" "Princess...?" "What happened to you?" "By day one way, by night another..." "This shall be the norm, until you find true love's first kiss and then take loves true form." "That's beautiful." "I didn't know you wrote poetry." "It's a curse." "I've had it since I was girl." "A curse?" "A witch cast a spell on me." "So now every night, when the sun goes down I become this..." "This horrible ugly beast!" "Alright, calm down, you're not that ugly..." "Okay, I'm not gonna lie..." "You are ugly, but you only look like this at night..." "Shrek's ugly twenty-four seven." "Wait a second, this is perfect!" "Perfect?" "Donkey, if Lord Farquaad finds out I look like this, he'll never marry me!" "So?" "So, I have to kiss my true love!" "The kiss is the only thing that will break the spell and make me beautiful." "But you know..." "Hmm, you're kind of an ogre, and Shrek..." "Well, you've got a lot in common." "Shrek?" "Yeah, if he knew all this, I think maybe..." "No, he can't know!" "And you can't tell him!" "Not a word!" "No one must ever know!" "Promise you won't tell." "Promise!" "All right, all right." "I won't tell him." "But you should." "Man, I know when this is all over," "I'm gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy." "Princess.." "I.." "How's it going first of all?" "Uh, it's good for me too." "I'm okay" "I picked this flower" "Right over there" "Is where it grew" "And I don't really like it" "But it made me think of you" "Because it's pretty" "Is what I'm trying to say" "And you are also pretty" "But I like you anyway" "So please accept this flower" "With its petals and a stem" "Which represent my feelings" "And tells you how.." "Oh man I'm in trouble" "When words fail" "What will I do?" "When words fail" "How will she know how I feel?" "When words fail" "Will I fail too?" "Hello fair princess" "Oh look the moon" "Is out tonight" "You remind me of that moon" "Because it's big and bright" "And by big I don't mean chubby" "Obviously you're not fat" "But your personality is biggish" "Is what I meant by that" "Sorry 'bout that fat thing," "I'm on the hefty side myself" "I have to blame the gene pool" "Which reminds me of..." "Oh where I am going with this" "When words fail" "What will I do?" "When words fail" "How will she know how I feel?" "When words fail" "Will I fail too?" "Do I have a snowball's chance?" "Are my prospects just too grim?" "I spent my life stuck in the mud" "Now I'm crawling out on a limb" "If words fail" "She'll know what I mean" "If words fail" "She'll just take my hand" "She sees me like no one else has" "If words fail" "She'll understand" "She'll understand" "I can't think about Shrek." "Not now." "I'm a princess after all, and look at me!" "I mean really..." "Who could ever love a beast so hideous and ugly?" "Princess, and ugly..." "don't go together." "That's why I can say I express" "My only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my one true love." "Good morning dawn" "Good morning day" "Good morning Morning Dove" "I had a long and sleepless night" "Pondering true love" "My fairy tale" "I know so well" "Must somehow gone awry" "Looks may be deceiving but," "Feelings cannot lie." "Do I love him?" "Last night I was uncertain" "But this morning" "This morning" "This morning" "Shrek, thank goodness." "There is something I have to tell you." "You don't have to tell me anything I heard enough last night" "Oh, you heard what I said?" "Every word!" "Especially, "Who could love such a hideous ugly beast?"" "But..." "I thought that wouldn't matter to you." "Yeah, well it does." "Ah, right on time." "Princess, I've brought you a little somenthing." "Fiooona!" "Fiona, Fiona, Fiona, Fiona!" "Fiona, Fiona, Fiona, Fiona!" "Fiooona!" "Whooooa, Plastic Horse!" "Princess Fiona?" "As promised..." "Now about my swamp..." "Cleared off, as agreed." "And the deed has been put in your name." "Now step away before I change my mind." "Forgive me, Princess, for startling you." "I am Lord Farquaad." "Lord Farquaad." "Forgive me, for I was just saying a short farewell." "Oh, that is so sweet, but you don't have to waste good manners on the ogre." "It's not like it has feelings." "No, you're right, It doesn't." "Princess Fiona, beautiful, fair, flawless Fiona..." "I ask your hand in marriage." "Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom?" "Lord Farquaad.." "I accept." "Nothing would make me..." "Excellent!" "I'll start the plans... for tomorrow we wed!" "No!" "I mean, ah, why wait?" "Let's get married today." "Before sunset." "Oh!" "Anxious are we?" "You're right." "The sooner the better." "There's so much to do!" "Captain, ride ahead and tell them it's a Code Red!" "We'll be married by sunset!" "Oh man, there's nothing like a good night's sleep." "What I miss?" "Fare thee well, ogre." "Shrek!" "What are you doing?" "You're letting her get away!" "Look, there's something you don't know!" "I ..." "I talked to her last night and..." "Yeah, I know you talked to her last night." "You two are great pals aren't ya?" "So why don't you follow her home." "But Shrek, I want to go home with you." "Hey, I told you already, I live alone!" "My swamp, me." "Nobody else, understand?" "Nobody!" "I'm gonna build me a wall, I'll make it ten feet high." "See ya later pal, bye bye." "No one gettin' in so don't you even try." "A ten foot wall.." "But Shrek, it's not what you think!" "Let me explain!" "I'm gonna build me a wall, I'm gonna disappear." "What's the matter pal, am I not bein' clear?" "Can't you take a hint, am I getting through at all?" "Just get outta here.." "I was told the world would despise me." "So I should have known, I should have guessed." "I thought these two might be different." "Well now I know, they're just like all the rest." "I'm gonna be what they want, I'm gonna be what they say." "Hey world, I'll do it your way!" "You're looking for a monster, it's your lucky day." "I'll be what you want.." "What a fool to think she might love me." "I opened my heart and let her walk through." "She wanted prince charming, I wanted my home back," "How lucky both our wishes came true.." "Gonna build me a wall, a perfect place to hide." "Hey world, stay on your side." "The best way to conquer they say is to divide." "Gonna build a wall." "Gonna be what they say." "Gonna hide in my heart." "Gonna build a wall..." "Just when ya think life can't get any worse, ya get evicted from a swamp!" "I really thought that ogre was gonna help us." "He still might!" "Maybe if we all close our eyes and clap really hard!" "Oh, grow up." "I won't grow up!" "You're thirty four and need a shave." "Whoa!" "Eh!" "Am I wrong?" "Where to now?" "Forty miles north, they said." "There's a landfill with our names on it." "Landfill?" "Are you kidding me?" "What's next a dunghill?" "A septic tank?" "How low do we need to go, People?" "It's time we stood up a long time ago!" "Gingy's right!" "We need to get off our fluffy butts and do something!" "Now wait a minute!" "Maybe that ogre wasn't the answer, but something better will come along, and we have to wait for it, because that's what fairytale creatures do." "We wait for miracles." "We wish upon stars!" "Why my cricket always told me..." "Aw, forget that cricket!" "If he was so smart he would've seen that windshield coming!" "No..." "No..." "We just need to lay low until this all blows over." "Oh none of this would've happened if I was a real boy!" "Why can't I be a real boy?" "Listen up, puppet." "We spend out whole lives wishing." "We weren't so freakin' strange." "They make us feel the pain." "But it's they who need to change" "The way they think, that is." "It's time to stop the hiding." "It's time to stand up tall." "Sing hey world, I'm different, and here I am splinters and all!" "Spliters and all" "Let your freak flag wave" "My what?" "Let your freak flag fly" "Thats what im talking about!" "Never take it down, never take it down" "Raise it way up high!" "Yeah!" "Let your freak flag fly!" "Let it fly, fly, fly!" "It's hard to be a puppet" "So many strings attached." "But it's not the choice you make." "It's just, how you, were hatched!" "Let your freak flag wave, let your freak flag fly." "Never take it down, Never take it down," "Raise it way up high!" "Let your freak flag fly" "I'm proud to be a pig" "I raise my furry fist" "Papa Bear, Papa Bear" "It's time a tell the world I'm a scientologist!" "I did some time in jail" "I smell like sauerkraut" "I'm gonna shed my house coat" "You work it out!" "Let your freak flag wave!" "Let your freak flag fly!" "Never take it down never take it down." "Raise it way up high!" "Yes!" "It all makes sense!" "We may be freaks, but we're freaks with teeth, and claws, and magic wands!" "And together, we can stand up to Farquaad!" "Never take it down" "Raise it way up high!" "We've got magic" "We've got power" "Who are they" "To say we're wrong?" "Wrong!" "All the things that make us special" "Are the things that make us strong!" "What makes us special," "What makes us special" "What makes us special" "Makes us strong!" "Let your freak flag wave!" "Let your freak flag fly!" "Never take it down, never take it down" "Raise it way up high!" "Let your freak flag fly!" "Fly!" "Fly!" "Fly!" "Fly!" "Fly!" "I'm wood!" "I'm good!" "Get used to it!" "FLY!" "To Duloc!" "xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx" "Donkey?" "What are you doing?" "I'd think you of all people would recognize a wall when you saw one!" "But the wall's supposed to go around my swamp, not through it." "It is." "Around your half." "See?" "That's your half, and this is my half." "Oh..." "Your half?" "Yes, my half." "I helped rescue the Princess." "I did half the work, I get half the booty." "Back off." "No, you back off." "Stubborn jackass!" "Smelly ogre!" "This is my swamp!" "There you go again!" "My..." "My..." "My...!" "Me..." "Me..." "Me..!" "Well guess what, now it's my turn, so you just shut up and pay attention." "You are mean to me," "you insult me and you don't appreciate anything I do." "You're always pushing me around or pushing me away!" "You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you're afraid of your own feelings!" "If I treated you so badly, then why did you come back?" "Because that's what friends do!" "They forgive each other!" "Oh go away!" "See!" "there you are doing it again!" "Just like you did to Fiona." "And all she ever did was like you." "Maybe even love you!" "Love me?" "She said I was ugly!" "A hideous creature!" "I heard the two of you talking!" "She wasn't talking about you!" "She was talking about... uh..." "somebody else." "She wasn't talking about me?" "Well then who was she talking about?" "Uh..." "Uh..." "No way." "I ain't saying anything." "You don't wanna listen to me, right?" "Right?" "Donkey!" "Okay..., I'm sorry, alright?" "I'm sorry." "I guess I am just a big, stupid..." "ugly ogre." "Can you forgive me?" "hey that's what friends are for, right?" "Friends?" "Friends." "So, um, what did Fiona say about me?" "What are you asking me for?" "Why don't you just go ask her?" "Donkey!" "The wedding!" "We'll never make it in time!" "I know somebody who could help!" "People of Duloc, we gather here today to bear witness to the union of our new King and Queen." "And as the warm glow of this setting sun lifts our hearts, so too does the joy of this blessed..." "Um..." "Excuse me..." "Ah..." "Could we just skip to the "I do's?"" "Ha, Ha, Ha." "Go on." "Right, well then." "Uh, do you Lord Farquaad take Princess Fiona?" "I do." " And ..." " I do." "Well then, by the power vested in me," "Stop the wedding!" "Shrek...?" "Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a wedding..." "Fiona..." "I need to talk to you." "Oh, now you want to talk?" "Well it's a little late for that." "So if you'll excuse me..." "But you can't marry him!" "And why not?" "Because..." "Because he's just marrying you so he can be King." "That is outrageous!" "Fiona, don't listen to him!" "He's not your true love." "What do you know about true love?" "Well, I, duh..." "Oh, this is precious!" "The ogre has fallen in love with the Princess." "Oh good Lord." "Hahahaha..." "Guards, take this abomination out of my sight!" "No!" "Uhh..." "I mean..." "Let's hear what the..." "monster has to say." "It might be worth a laugh." "Ohh, you are awful." "You heard her, ogre." "Express yourself... with a few grunts as possible." "Right." "Okay." "Um..." "It's a big bright beautiful world with happiness all around." "It's peaches and cream if a dream comes true." "It's a big bright beautiful world with possibilities everywhere." "If true love is blind maybe you won't mind the view?" "I know I'm not the handsome prince for whom you waited" "I don't have a fancy castle, and I'm not sophisticated." "A princess and an ogre," "I admit, is complicated." "You've never read a book like this, but fairytales should really be updated." "It's a big bright beautiful world." "I see it now, I'll let it in." "I'll tear down a wall and clear a spot for two" "to be with you." "Are we ready, darling?" "I can't." "Stop the wedding!" "Stop him!" "Stop him!" "We've taken your abuse for the last time, Farquaad!" "Well no more!" "It ends today!" "Power to zi piggies!" "We demand our homes back!" "And our rightful place in duloc!" "Right, guys?" "How dare you freaks interrupt my wedding?" "Freaks, eh?" "Well, I guess it takes one to know one." "What?" "Be prepared to have you mind blown." "Hiiiiiiiii..." "Hooooooh!" "Daddy?" "I suppose my invitation was lost in the mail?" "Well maybe if you hadn't abandoned me in the woods!" "Abandoned you?" "You were twenty eight, and living in my basement!" "Heh..." "Heh..." "Loser." "People of Duloc, your leader is a Halfling!" "not a freak!" "I'm not freak!" "I'm a King!" "I'm a big man!" "A big tall giant man with a kingdom!" "Not a freak!" "Not a freak!" "I have a castle!" "Bring in the lanterns!" "Stop the wedding!" "Fiona?" "I wanted to show you before." "Well, ah..." "That explains a lot." "It's disgusting!" "Guards!" "Guards!" "All this hocus pocus alters nothing!" "This marriage is binding and that makes me king!" "See!" "See!" "As for you, my wife!" "I'll have you locked back in that tower for the rest of you days!" "No actually, you won't." "What are you doing, you insolent beast!" "I'll see you drawn and quartered!" "I am king!" "I will have order!" "Dragon!" "Arrrgghhh!" "Nobody move, I have a dragon here, and I don't have afraid of use it." "Fiona, I love you!" "Really?" "Really, really." "I love you too." "By day one way, by night another..." "This shall be the norm, until you find true love's first kiss and then take loves true form..." "true form... true form..." "Fiona..." "Are you alright?" "Well yes..." "But..." "I don't understand." "I'm supposed to be beautiful." "But you are beautiful." "Once upon a time" "To look like us would be a pity." "But now we know, that beautiful" "Ain't always pretty." "I waited all my life lived it by the book now I know that's not my story you take me as I am love me as I look standing here in all my glory" "I am sweetness" "I am bratty" "I'm a princess" "I'm a fatty" "I'm a mess of contradictions in a dress" "I am sassy" "I am sappy when I'm with you" "I am happy this is my story" "You laugh at all my jokes even though they're crude you don't mind that I'm not classy" "We make a perfect pair radiant and rude so in love and much too gassy" "We are ogres we are scary we are donkeys we are hairy we have bold and brand new stories to be told we will write them we will tell them you will hear them you will smell them this is our story" "...and that is how the little ogre came to live on the swamp with a beautiful princess- and his best friend!" "And his best friend!" "and a gingerbread man!" "and a very handsome puppet!" "and an elf!" "and a fairy godmother!" "and a witch!" "and a crossdressing' wolf!" "and three pigs!" "What makes us special makes us strong" "We are witches we are fairies we are weirdos" "I'm AN AIRES!" "we're a giant different sampler here to try" "We are puppets we are rabbits we are hobbits with bad habits we're a screwy but delighted crazy stew we are different and united we are us and we are you" "This is our story this is our story this is our story" "GOD BLESS US EVERYONE!" "THE END" "I thought love was xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx" "Only true in fairy tales" "Meant for someone else" "But not for me" "Love was out to get to me" "That's the way it seems" "Disappointment haunted" "All my dreams" "And then I saw her face" "Now I'm a believer" "Not a trace" "Of doubt in my mind" "I'm in love" "I'm a believer" "I couldn't leave her" "If I tried" "I thought love was" "More or less a given thing" "The more I gave the less" "I got, oh yeah" "What's the use in trying" "All you get is pain" "When I wanted sunshine" "I got rain" "And then I saw her face" "Now I'm a believer" "Not a trace" "Of doubt in my mind" "I'm in love" "I'm a believer" "I couldn't leave her" "If I tried" "Then I saw her face" "Now I'm a believer" "Not a trace" "Of doubt in my mind" "I'm in love" "I'm a believer" "I believe" "I believe" "I believe" "I believe" "I believe" "I believe" "Let your freak flag wave" "Let your freak flag fly" "Never take it down, never take it down" "Raise it way up high!" "Yeah!" "Let your freak flag fly!" "Let it fly, fly, fly!" "It's hard to be a puppet" "So many strings attached." "But it's not the choice you make." "Its just, how you, were hatched!" "Let your freak flag wave, let your freak flag fly." "Never take it down, Never take it down," "Raise it way up high!" "Let your freak flag fly" "I'm proud to be a pig" "I raise my furry fist" "Papa Bear, Papa Bear" "I told the world..." "I'm a scientologist!" "I did some time in jail" "I smell like sauerkraut" "I'm gonna shed my house coat" "You work it out!" "Let your freak flag wave!" "Let your freak flag fly!" "Never take it down never take it down." "Raise it way up high!" "Yes!" "It all makes sense!" "We may be freaks, but we're freaks with teeth, and claws, and magic wands!" "And together, we can stand up to Farquaad!" "Never take it down" "Raise it way up high!" "We've got magic" "We've got power" "Who are they" "To say we're wrong?" "Wrong!" "All the things that make us special" "Are the things that make us strong!" "What makes us special," "What makes us special" "Makes us strong!" "Let your freak flag wave!" "Let your freak flag fly!" "Never take it down, never take it down" "Raise it way up high!" "Let your freak flag fly!" "Fly!" "Fly!" "Fly!" "Fly!" "I'm wood!" "I'm good!" "Get used to it!" "FLY!"