"AN ACCOUNTANT'S SMURF CD" "It's a perfect summer cottage, honey." "It's a perfect summer cottage, honey." "It's great." "It's close to the beach and the golf course is nearby." "It's the best one we've seen for years." "Aren't you ready yet?" "The open house starts in one hour!" " I'm not leaving the food out." " It's last chance before bidding." " Why don't you give me a hand, then?" " It's now or never, honey!" "We have to be there in half an hour." "We're late, honey." " Relax, it's a learner." " They're doing 10 mph." " You can't go faster here." " Of course they turn right too." " He belongs on a test track." " Frank, really!" "Why don't they move over?" "Are you deaf or what?" " You're frightening her." " We'll lose that summer cottage." " Calm down, all right?" " Move over!" "Why won't he communicate?" "Finally he got the message." "Now what?" "No, no..." " Open the window." " What the hell is wrong with you?" "This is no way to behave!" "Can you read that?" "What does it say?" " "Lear-ner"." " Show some consideration." " You have to move over when I beep!" " I don't know that rule." "That's what the horn is for." "I just use it for communicating." " And what did you just communicate?" " Sorry." "We have to see a cottage." " Stop that!" " I won't talk to him." "Go away." " You delayed us even more." " I know, honey." "I'm sorry." "Lovely, eh?" " Let's go inside." " It's so pretty." "Don't be enthusiastic." "It makes the price go up if the others hear it." " H i, welcome." "I'm Jan." " Mia." "Hello." "I'm Frank." " Welcome to Rågeleje." " This doesn't look bad." "It's a lovely little house." "And the insurance covers dry rot and insects?" " That's super." " It's a healthy house." "It's just the barge boards that need to be replaced." " Can we look around?" " Please do." "This is just what we want." "And look at that view!" "I really want it." " Hi." " Hi." " Are you...?" " What a surprise." " Hi there." " Oh boy." "Hi, Susan." " You're cottage-hunting, too?" " Yes, we're just..." "I didn't know you were in the market." "Yes..." "Well, we're just looking." "Want to come upstairs with me?" "There's a first floor." " Feel free to ask me about anything." " Thanks." "Thank you, Jan." " Well, then..." " So, do you like it?" "I don't think so." "It needs a lot of work." "It's lovely and romantic and my first impulse was: "I'll buy it!"" " But now I don't think so." " I feel exactly the same." " You have to see a lot of places." " Are you seeing more today?" "Sure." "We're looking at thousands of cottages." "Sure." "We're looking at thousands of cottages." "Maybe we'll meet at one of the other places." "Bye." " Bloody hell." " What a coincidence." "We're very interested." "Very, very interested." "We're going to bid." "ACCOUNTANT" "Have faith in me." "I know what is tax-deductible." "Take the iPod..." " That's not deductible." " Yes, it is." " I don't understand." " But pizzas are not deductible." "If you have the pizza while you're at work, it's deductible." "It's my job to know what is deductible." "That's what I'm here for." "Save all receipts, give them to me, and I'll sort them out." " I want to give you a little..." " Sweet?" "No, it's an accountant's smurf cd." "A present for our best clients." "That must be the really important clients." " It's funny, I promise." " It's full of great stuff." " I'm sure it is." " Great to see you're back with Iben." "We're so happy." "It's wonderful." "It's the best thing I've done." " We met in Tivoli." " Had a glass of mulled wine." "Lovely." "We're so happy." "I guess it shows." "Happy Christmas if I don't see you." " You're back with Iben?" " Yes." "Isn't it odd you've told the accountant but not me?" " Who cares who knows it first?" " I don't." " You do care." "That's obvious." " It's the principle." " You'd get to know eventually." " From Kurt the accountant." "Your close friend gets to know first." "Then maybe you tell your mother or father, who..." " What are you doing?" " Getting a quick pressie for Iben." " Something sexy?" " I saw a cute outfit in the window." "I wonder if Mia would like this kind of thing." "Iben likes dressing up?" "She's an actress, you idiot." "You can live out your fantasies." " An FBI agent, a mermaid, a nun..." " That one is sexy." " A maid." " Mia would be into that." " So buy it." " Maybe I should." " It's decent, but sexy, too." " Mia'd look so hot in that." " She can wear it at the tea shop." " If I had to shag Mia..." "I'm not." "What are you saying?" ""Shag Mia. "... "She'd look hot." You and your fantasies." "I said "if"." "If I'd get killed if I didn't shag Mia, I'd like her to wear it." "What if I'd get shot in the head 1000 times if I didn't shag Iben?" "Get a good hold of Iben in that outfit, "You naughty maid!"" "I'm just saying Mia would look nice in it." "And I'm just saying Iben would look so hot in it." "I'm a bit annoyed now." "Let's agree not to discuss this." "Let's agree we don't think of each other's girlfriends in this outfit." " Deal." " Anything else?" " Maybe..." "Ever tried these?" " I'll have one too." " Hi, Honey." "I got you a present." " Really?" "A kinky outfit for my sexy little number..." "Hi." "What a surprise..." " No, honey." "Don't open it now." " I can't open it now?" "We'll wait." "So you're looking at the summer cottage?" "Daddy says we can afford it." "He's looked at the particulars." " Don't open it." " I've looked at the particulars..." "Honey!" "No." "We just agreed you'd open it later." "Honey, put it away." "I want to be there when you open it." "I've looked into your personal finances. 3. 1-3.2 million is fine." "You can afford it and in fact it's a very sound investment." "I've also looked at the accounts of your and Casper's company." "I have one comment." "Your accountant's bills are too big." "I offer to do it for you and I'll do it for free." "Thank you, but no thank you." "I don't want you to do our accounts." " It's too private." " Frank..." "Daddy'll do it for free." " One's accounts are private." " We don't have any secrets." " We trust each other." " He's my father, Frank." " We trust each other." " He's my father, Frank." " It's money saved." " It's nice when can help each other." "Very well, then." "I'm going to change." "... and pulls a hat over Meyerheim's head." " Meyerheim takes it off, and..." " It's full of shit." "He shat in the hat!" "Cheers!" " Done anything about the cottage?" " No." "Have you?" " No, nothing." " Let it go, man." "What is most important when you want a shag, age or brains?" "The price." "What a couple of nancy boys." "This is totally Neanderthal..." "So get it settled already!" "Just look at that." "Lars..?" " Bloody hell, Lars." " That is so disgusting." " Are crooners all you've got?" " Hey, come off it." "Otto Brandenburg, Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, Dario Campeotto..." " Yes, and it's great." " We need some real music." "Carøe, I'll get some cd's in my car." "I've got an accountant's smurf cd in my car." " That's party music!" " Sure sounds like it." "Good evening." "May I see your driving license?" " But I..." " Let me see your license." " Going for a drive?" " No, the thing is..." "I wanted to get an accountant's smurf cd from the cd player." " Have you been drinking?" " Yes." "Blow into this device." "I had to start the car to get hold of an accountant's smurf cd..." " Take a deep breath and blow." " But I have been drinking." " I need to check your BAL." " I'm completely pissed." " Right." "Get out of the car, then." " I wasn't going anywhere!" "That's what they all say." "Take a deep breath and blow." "Come on." "Just do it." "Thank you." "Alcohol and driving don't mix." " Mummy, Frank wasn't driving." " So we are told." " Mads, will he go to prison?" " No, mother, he won't go to prison." "Frank will probably get fined for drinking and driving." "His driving license will be suspended and he must take a new driving test." "And he has to complete a course on alcohol and traffic." " It's a course." " Is it AA?" " Of course not." " You don't know that." " It's an extended theory test." " I'm not at all equipped for that." "I mean, I'm too busy." "I don't want to." "But you have to." "The fine is worse." "We're buying a cottage." " You can afford it." " It's so annoying." "Frank, really..." " Mummy." " I can't..." "Mads, there must be a way out of this." "Can you find a witness from the party who'll testify you were getting a cd?" "Can you find a witness from the party who'll testify you were getting a cd?" "I told them : "I'm going to fetch an accountant's smurf cd in the car."" "You actually said it?" "Then maybe you won't need to do the course." "Hear that, Mia?" "It's not serious." "Now that's what I call a happy end." " I can't remember you were gone." " You really didn't notice?" "It's not that I don't want to have seen you leave." "I just didn't notice." "Is it possible that you'd say in court  that you'd pretend you'd heard or seen me go to pick up a cd?" "No." " Why can't you say that?" " I'd have to lie, Frank." " I don't do that." " I think I've heard you lie." "Yes, and it's over now." "I'm back with Iben and I've told my last lie." " I'm a new person." " Until you're in the shit." "I made a promise." "It's a huge relief." "Forget it." " Did you shag Mia in that costume?" " No." "My in-laws are at the house." "Do it." "I shagged Iben." "It's was great fun." "Wow, a maid!" "Oopsie-daisy onto the sofa and a bit of the old doggy style..." " And in the jacuzzi too..." " I have to do something about it." "Did you hear me saying I'd get a smurf cd?" "Did I hear?" "You were dissing my record collection quite openly." "You wanted to liven up the party with a smurf song." "Yes, I heard it." "Would you say that in court?" "Would I say in court that you listen to smurf cd's?" "I'd love to, Frank." " That's awesome, Michael." " You and I need a beer." "You're a real pal." " So you're bidding after all?" " Yes, we decided to give a bid." "Susan was really keen on it." " It doesn't matter to you anyway." " We decided to give a bid, too." "Have you looked at our estimate?" "Did you look at our bid?" " No." " Okay." "To hell with it." "I don't visit a good friend and start prying into his offer." "Never mind." "It's just a bid." " Thanks, Michael." " Don't mention it." " Coming, honey?" " Where did you buy it, Frank?" "In "Paradise" on Gammel Kongevej." " Come on, honey!" " Coming." "Come on, then." "I'm a guest at the hotel, right?" "Great." "I've been out all night but I haven't managed to score." "Anything could happen." "I'm all filled up." "I'm a German!" "La cleaning." "Hallo..." "Was is dass?" "Komm herein, bitte." " Come on in." " Bonjour, monsieur." " La cleaning la room?" " You look stunning, honey." "Lie down." "Your legs look great in those nets." " It's not Casper's idea, is it?" " Of course not." "It's our thing." " Our little game." " You bet." "I'll ask the questions and you answer briefly." "You say that you heard Frank say he was getting a cd in the car." " How are the odds?" " Odds are fine." "It's a formality." " How are the odds?" " Odds are fine." "It's a formality." "When is it?" "Are we going in now?" "That's wonderful news." "Super." "See you tomorrow, then." "Bye." "We must help each other if we can." " Who was that?" " The estate agent." " The summer cottage is ours." " Congratulations." "Yes, honey." " Isn't it great?" " Congratulations." " This is so awkward." " Never mind." "What was your offer?" " 3. 1 million." " That wasn't a lot more." " Our offer was 3 million." " That was pretty close." "And it had nothing to do with the fact that you checked our offer?" "Come on, Michael." " Did you look at their offer?" " He was holding the envelope." " Did you look at it, Frank?" " No, I did not." "Odd." "You offer 100. 000 above us, and you looked inside the envelope." "It would be conspicuous if we were 25 øre above." " It's not a joke." " We'll have a beer afterwards..." " No we won't." " You can visit us at the cottage." " There's no afterwards." "I'm off." " You can borrow the cottage, Susan." " Frank, our case is coming up." " It's bad style." "Fucking bad style." "How can I say this?" "I did not look inside that envelope!" " Frank, what's going on?" " He's gone crazy." " Did you look at it?" " No!" "Forget that envelope." "This is serious." " You have other witnesses?" " No." " What can we do, Mads?" " Typical Carøe." "I'm going to look like an idiot when your witness fails to appear." " What a bloody nuisance!" " Poor Mads." " He's my brother." " What about me?" "I'm going to lose my license and everything." " They didn't believe Frank's story." " They implied I was lying." " It's so nice you're together again." " Have you been apart?" " For a while." "To think things over." " I thought I'd told you." "It didn't really feel as if we were apart." "In your heart there's a place where you're always together." " Come on, you have been apart." " Physically, yes." "But here  we were together." "In honesty and love." "It's great you're back, Iben." "I haven't been told off for ages." "You need a good telling-off after that smurf cd incident." "Thanks, Ole, for checking the accounts." "I'm done now apart from one receipt from a shop called Paradise." "It says "miscellaneous"." "450 kroner." " It's private." " It's odd, you see..." " Just throw it out, Daddy." " Casper has one exactly like it." "So I figured it might be work-related." " Casper has one from the same shop?" " Same time, same shop, same price." "For all your talk about honesty and love you're as cheasy as ever." " It might be..." " What a lousy thing to do." " I didn't see him there in the shop." " You're the same old liar." "I don't know how Frank spends his money." "Iben, baby..." " It's private, Ole." "Just bin it." " In that case, I'm done." "So how was it?" " It was great." "Really, really great." " I can imagine." " She really is a hot little number." " She is?" "I can picture it." ""Don't get tempted or provoked into committing irresponsible acts."" ""Show consideration for fellow road users   by letting them change lanes, overtaking you etc."" ""It's no use beeping, flashing your lights or offending others."" ""Be tolerant instead of insisting on your own right."" ""Maybe you're the one who needs a positive change of attitude.""