"So, after waiting 5 hours for Joey's aunt to get hooched up enough to pass out.'" "We had full access to her infinity pool and hot tub." "Of course we forgot our swimsuits but that didn't stop us." "And that's how they invented tan jellos." "Chastity, I was a little sick last week are tan jellos like a slang word for something?" "Sorry ladies, but this story is NC-17." "I can't serve it to minors." "Just because I moved from Ohio doesn't mean I'm some... naive little farm girl." "My neighborhood was pretty sketch." "You wouldn't believe the number of prostitutes who'd been hanging around our cul-the-sac." "Oh, that is so cute." "You brought a little kitty for... nap time?" "It's my lucky charm." "Okay, you got me." "I use it to smoke heroin." "Honey, something's wrong?" "I'm in the middle of a major crisis." "Chastity thinks I'm a goody goody which means the whole school will" "That is a major crisis." "Ranks right up there with the global recession and the collpase of the Artic shelf." "Let's turn on the radio, see if Bono wrote a song about you." "Sarcasm never helps, you should be proud of yourself, Bianca..." "Good reputation can take you places, in politics, in business, in this house." "Dad, we're in California now." "Home to medical marijuana, the Kardashians, the pantieless crotch flash..." "Good girls don't sit at the popular table." "Maybe it wouldn't bother you so much if your self esteem wasn't based on what other people think." "See, that's why, you, have no social life." "I need to change my image." "I'd narrowed it down to getting a lip side dye my hair pink, or dressing like a Pussycat Doll." "No face piercing, no alternative hair colors." "No put... what's a Pussycat Doll?" "Multi-hyphenates strippers who sing" "Why don't tell people you are a groupie" "Or one of those White House interns" "Or some idiot who gives birth to a baby at the prom and didn't even know they're pregnant." "That is a genius idea, dad!" "Thanks, I can tell everyone I had a baby." "Way to go, grandpa." "Oh, she's going to hate those pretend stretch marks." "Funny." "10 things I hate about you" "S01E04" "EngSub" "TvSubTitleS.NeT" "Did you watch "Datelane" last night?" "I cannot believe they have it run out at predators." "You missed!" "He's not gonna pick that up." "Don't mess with him." "He'll kill you, literally." "That's what he wants you to think." "Kat, he comes from a long line of criminals." "I heard his dad in prison for skinning a man alive." "Okay, well, his gene pool gives him an excuse to kill." "Not litter." "Be careful, his mom is a Mexican drug lord." "Pick it up." "Oh, do you have trouble hearing?" "Real mature!" "I just like to watch you bend over." "Oh that's nothing." "You should watch me do this..." "Now you know how the Earth feels." "It's called Peacocking, bro'." "All the celebrity dudes are doing it." "Like Pitt, Justin Timberlake." "Even that Marvin guy in the Real World." "I don't know, it feels weird drawing attention to my neck." "You'll never gonna get Bianca in your Bill Gates wardrobe without the man scrilla to back it up." "Okay, but are you sure it doesn't make me look like a choreographer?" "You look great." "I have a big fat favor to ask." "Oooh, I don't respond to fat.." "Ok, small skinny favor then." "Can I lie and say I am at your house after school?" "It is for a good reason." "I'm dating this older guy and my dad will freak if he found out." "How much older, is older?" "26 or maybe 31, it's hard to tell." "He feels weird about the age difference." "It's adorable." "The oldest guy I've ever been with was my camp counselor." "I know what you're gonna say, "Bianca this can't go anywhere"" "and you're right, but he's so hot and when he blows on my neck..." "I..." "I have already said too much, promise you won't tell." "Oh come on Bianca... you can truly trust me." "Hey Bianca." "Hey Cameron, you got a nice scarf." "Talk later." "This peacock needs more feathers." "Tell me what happened." "He littered." "Which apparently triggered some sort of psychotic break." "Right, right, because I'm a woman, I'm emotionally unstable." "What a stereotype." "Mister Verona, since you love trash so much, you can spend the afternoon in detention picking it up." "But she's the one who..." "Don't try to pin it on her." "Whatever happened is obviously your fault." "It always is." "You're kidding me, right?" "I don't kid." "Between the hours of 8 and 3." "Goodbye." "Oh, hey, he forgot his backpack." "You can go, unless you wanna help me hire a new lunch lady." "Why do they wear their hairnets to these interviews." "I'll never understand." "Don't you think that that was a little harsh?" "I mean you don't even know what happened, what about "innocent until proven guilty? "" "Are you representing him now Mrs. Dershowitz?" "Patrick Verona has spent more time in this office than I have." "For what?" "Here, let me get his file for you." "Oh wait a minute, it says here it's none of your business." "Okay, here's the thing." "He did litter." "Repeatedly, and I think he enjoyed it." "But I may have overreacted a little when I... kicked the trash can over on him." "It's very noble of you to confess." "Thank you." "So he doesn't have detention?" "No, you have it with him." "But I suggest you keep your distance." "Have you ever poked a monkey in a cage." "You poke him enough times, he'll bite you back." "Yeah, he'll bite back." "Bianca." "If I were to buy a book about a girl named Bianca and an older guy where would I find it?" "Fiction, or non-fiction?" "Oh, definitely, non-fiction." "So it's not true." "No, it's true." "Wow, cool, dating older dudes is a textbook supermodel maneuver." "Give me some." "Mr. Ross, hi, who invented geometry?" "I say it's was Pythagoras but Belinda says Euclid." "Well, Euclid was known as the father of geometry though technically he didn't invent it he just wrote it all down." "I knew you'd know." "You know everything." "Well, not everything, but most things." "Okay." "Bianca, you mind sticking around goign over your test?" "Was it my ink choice?" "I like working in fuschia, it relaxes me." "You skipped an entire page of the test, I mean assuming you don't hate isosceles triangles." ""Hate" is a strong word, I prefer to call our relationship "rocky"." "That was very funny." "I can't believe it." "She is totally having an affair with Mr. Ross." "I'm so jealous." "I hate her." "I can't believe she's making me return Patrick's bag." "Let him get his own Sherpa." "It's not ticking." "Good, because my bombs defusing skills are a little rusty" "I am so tempted to just toss it in the dumpster." "First, let's look through it." "That's an invasion of privacy." "How would you like somebody go thrugh your stuff?" "I wouldn't care, do you want to look through my bag?" "Not really." "Oh no is coming in time" "Come on, don't." "This is not cool." "Kat, it would be irresponsible not to open it." "What if there are murder weapons in here?" "What's in there?" "It's just as I thought." "Before he kills, he uses a lighter to burn off his fingerprints" "Then he uses those gloves to strangle people." "And the clippers to cut off souvenirs body parts." "And what are the anti acids for, Sherlock?" "Maybe what he does is so horrificly vicious" "Even he gets nauseous." "Trust me, Patrick Verona wishes he was that dangerous." "But reality is never as juicy as rumor." "No way, Mr. Ross he's not having an affair, that's crazy." "Who told you this?" "Hi, everybody." "What's going on?" "You're welcome." "Thank you so much for..." "Totally covering for you and Mr. Ross." "Which means you owe me the juicy details." "Wait, you think Mr. Ross is my older guy?" "It's not him." "Why would you think that?" "I know what I saw." "I have to say, you holding that on me hurts my heart a little Bianca." "I thought that we were slowly building that bridge of friendship brick by brick, but now..." "I worry that may be crumbling" "No, no, no." "The bridge is still very much intact." "Remember, bricks are strong and sturdy they are the only thing that you cannot huff and puff down." "Well, secrets can cause erosion." "Okay, you got me." "It is Mr. Ross." "But now, you really, really can't tell anyone." "I wouldn't want him to get in trouble." "I would never." "You can't stay away, can you?" "Did you take a peek?" "Oh, I was going to but, my hazmat suit is at the cleaners." "Okay, fine, it's not Mr. Ross, but if it were Mr. Ross." "How did it started?" "Its' not Mr. Ross." "Well, I was up that store at the mall, the one with the creepy mannequins with no hands and I was trying on these pink skinny leg jeans." "And I came out of the dress room... and Mr. "Jones" was there, and he was all, "wow"." "Bianca hasn't even looked over here yet." "And I know it's working because everyone else is staring." "Are you sure girls like seeing a guy nipples in prints" "I think your nipples are too young and baby sweet to attract Bianca." "So what are we talking?" "Piercing?" "Cause I don't know if my mom will let me." "Look, I'm not talking about style bro'." "I'm talking about your girl." "She's not who you think she is." "Bianca is hooking up with Mr. Ross." "What?" "No way!" "She would never do that." "I know Bianca." "She's a sweet decent person." "Like..." "Taylor Swift." "Bianca Stratford, please report to the principal's office." "I think I finally figured you out." "You dump trash on me, you go out of your way to get detention, steal my backpack." "You're obsessed with me." "What can I say, you nailed it." "You and me, in this sexy vests, picking up trash, the sweet stench of garbage in the air." "Welcome to my dream date." "Do I make you nervous?" "So nervous." "How much would you pay me to eat this?" "You want a bite?" "Gross." "No wonder you have acid reflux." "You did look in my bag." "What?" "Come on, just cop to it." "You couldn't resist." "Seriously, it's okay if you're obsessed with me." "Just admit it." "No." "I did not look in your bag." "Thank you." "Sorry Bianca, I'm just trying to protect you from yourself." "I mean it's not like you were born a slut." "Bianca, this is Darlene Tharp." "The school shrink we have to have you by law." "She's gonna ask you a few questions." "Okay." "Hey, is this okay?" "Just know that I am here to listen, with open ears, open heart, an open mind." "It is just the two of us against the world." "Bianca, please tell us the nature of your relationship with Mr. Ross." "It's just your normal run of the mill teacher variety." "Bianca, sweety, this is a safe place, okay?" "Think of me as your cool aunt." "Or your BFF, or all those ladies from The View rolled all in one" "Oh Lord." "Bianca, can you show me on the doll, where Mr. Ross touched you." "Bianca, are you having an affair with Liam or not?" "Liam?" "Who's Liam?" "Liam Ross." "No!" "Absolutely not." "I never had an affair with anybody." "Listen, I am very aware that Mr. Ross is an attractive, extremly attractive, funny." "Sexy man." "With really nice hands." "But, you don't have to protect him." "Because he is the enemy." "You can destroy him." "Would you like to hurt Mr. Ross." "Come on." "Go ahead." "Kick him up his head off." "Stop." "I swear." "Nothing happened." "It was just a story." "I made it up." "Listen, I know you don't want to betray your lover." "That's understandable." "But if this is true, he needs to go to jail." "No matter how good looking he is." "This is going to sound really stupid." "I wast just pretending to be a bad girl." "But I'm actually a goody goody." "I don't own a thong." "I floss every day." "And sometimes when I cross the street I still like to hold my daddy's hand." "And..." "I have a lucky cat." "Poor Mr. Doodles." "Allright, thank you Bianca, we'll take it from here." "Stop, that's how we get into this mess." "Just." "Let me see it." "It's fine, I just lost half a thumb." "Let me see." "You can go." "No, not at all, I'm not gonna go." "Because you're obsessed with me." "His time of the month." "Mr. Verona." "Where is it?" "What I can't believe you'd take it." "I don't know what you're talking about." "I didn't take anything." "Oh sure you didn't, just like you didn't look through my bag." "Patrick!" "Cameron, I need your help, I am in so much trouble." "Yes, I know all about that." "You and Mr. Ross." "I didn't think you were capable of something so unsawory." "Cameron, you know me, what's the one thing I want more than anything else in the world." "Beyonce to perform in your sweet 16." "In the real world." "To be popular." "So this morning, I made up this rumor about me dating an older guy, and that older guy turned into Mr. Ross." "And now because of a stupid lie, a really hot teacher's life could be ruined." "It's the most horrible thing I have ever done." "This is great news!" "Why is it great exactly?" "Because this will be a valuable life lesson that will help calibrate your moral compass." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "But Cameron, what should I do?" "She's gonna warn Mr. Ross." "Oh my God!" "Mr. Ross." "It's all my fault!" "I'm so sorry." "Is this about the test?" "Because I gave you an A-." "You guys have to let him go." "He is an innocent man, I can prove it." "Liam!" "You cheated on me with her?" "No!" "No!" "Rot in jail, scumbag." "It is not true, Sofia!" "You're the only one I ever loved." "Sofia!" "Sofia!" "Mr. Ross." "You... two-timing jerk face." "I see something fell from his bag." "What would it might be?" "A breath spray, a yo-yo." "Maybe a finger." "I don't know." "It was hard to understand anything he said after he cushing bailed on me." "If I don't find whatever the hell it is, he's gonna think I kept it on purpose." "Then he busts out the gloves and strangles you." "Oh, people in this school are sick." "I'm going in." "Do you think this is it?" "Hey!" "Hey, come on." "Give the girl some air." "I mean, can't you see that she is in a lot of pain." "So what the hottest thing that you and Mr. R. ever did?" "Because Joey, he's really into role playing." "This one time he asked me to stay after class, and I did, and he pulled up this chair desk" "Cameron?" "Sorry, I really need to talk to him." "To be continued..." "God, that was so in time." "I know." "Are you okay?" "Yes, thanks for being there for me." "I don't know what I'd do without you." "I'm so lucky to have met you." "You're my first GBF." "GBF?" "Gay best friend." "See you tomorrow." "She's just kidding." "She's just kidding." "Kat, can we get outta here." "I just wanna go and watch crazy people on reality tv, so I can feel normal again." "Let's go."