"[ALARM CLOCK RINGING]" "I gotta go." " Good morning." " Don't you open at 6:30?" "It's 6:42." "I'll need a poppy-seed bagel, cream cheese, Tabasco and a lot of coffee." "Oh, my God, where is that phone number?" "Is this Zippy Print in Dallas?" "My name is Isabel Evans." "I ordered 150 wedding place cards last week." "Right." "Well, they were supposed to be overnighted to me yesterday." "So where are they?" "Buddy, your labor problems are not my labor problems." "What's your name?" "All right, Ed, I'd like to speak to your manager." " Good night." " Good night." "[DOOR LOCK CLICKS]" "Well, I ordered the floral arrangements three days ago." "I still need them here by Friday." "No, I don't want a refund." "I want them here on time, or else." "Trust me, you don't want to know what that means." "Flowers, Friday, or else." " More pie?" " No." "Liz, thank you." " I'm sorry for being such a bitch today." " No, just don't even worry about it." "I don't know what I'd be like three days before my wedding." "How about me?" "Imagine the stress involved getting married to Michael." "Well, are you nervous at all?" "Not about the wedding but about getting married?" "It's for the rest of your life." "Honestly, no." "MARIA:" "You're that sure?" " I guess I am." "I really respect that." " Thanks." "MARIA:" "I mean here I am, totally in love with this amazing guy, but to marry him?" "Please." "LIZ:" "Oh, my God, I know." "Could you imagine?" "What if I had married Max?" "MARIA:" "Stress." "You okay?" "Yeah." "I'm fine." "To Have and To Hold" "[CHATTERING]" "MAN:" "Well?" " Come on, I need an answer." " I'm still looking." "Not talking to you." "Hello?" "I'm talking to you, Phil." "Make sure the same time slot's gonna be open for us on Saturday." "Yeah, well, you find out." "Okay, so, what's the deal?" "Okay, hello?" "I'm talking to you now, Gomer." " What's wrong with the bus?" " Well, Mr. Karter..." "No "mister." No last name." "No first name." "Just Karter with a "K"." "Okay." "Look, I don't know what the problem is yet." "So why don't you and the band go get a cup of coffee and come back in an hour or two." "Great." "We're stuck in some rat hole called Roston, New Mexico." " Roswell." " Not talking to you." "Let KZAB know we have to rebook the interview." "Yeah, who am I talking to?" "Shirley!" "Hey, you got a minute?" "[SIGHS]" "I got all the time you need." "I don't know, it was just the strangest dream." "It was like it was me, but it wasn't me." "Thanks." "Like, I was saying and doing things I had no control over like it wasn't me." "But it was me." "They say you should write down your dreams as soon as you wake up." "I don't know." "The whole thing just felt really dangerous." "But I was thrilled by it, by this man, this familiar man." "It was pretty erotic." "I mean..." "Don't tell anyone but when I woke up in the Crashdown I was so disappointed, I literally had to take a cold shower." " That's quite a visual." " Shut up." "Look, don't let it get to you." "Don't you think that this is just a case of the pre-wedding jitters infecting your dream life?" " Jitters?" " Surely, you jest." " No." "And don't..." "TOGETHER:" "Call me "Shirley."" "[CELL PHONE RINGS]" "We're spending way too much time together." "Hold on." "Hello." "What?" "!" "Are you out of your mind?" "!" " No jitters there." " Thanks, Kyle." "No." "No, that's not gonna work!" "No, I'm not changing the date." "It's not an option!" "Listen!" "When I..." "God, I hate cell phones." "ISABEL:" "I don't understand." "How do you run a business this way?" "You take an order." " You take my payment, and..." " Isabel." "Hi." "PHILIP:" "How..." "How are you?" "Fine." " Yeah, I'm..." " Honey, wait." "I know that you're hurt, and you're angry." "And we understand, but..." "But the reason we're not coming isn't because we don't love you." "Of course not." "But we can't support this." "It's..." "ISABEL:" "You listen to me!" "This is my wedding, and no one will screw it up." "No one!" "So how was Los Angeles?" "Not quite what I expected." "How's, uh...?" " How are you?" " Under a lot of pressure." " Two days and counting, you know?" " Yeah." "Just say it, Max." "You don't want me to marry Jesse." "It's okay." "People aren't exactly jumping for joy when they hear the news." "Everyone's just a little concerned." "It's not that we don't like Jesse." "It's that you don't know Jesse." "It's how sudden this is." "It's that you don't want me to make a mistake I'll regret the rest of my life." "I know, I have heard it all." "Don't you think there's a reason that everyone keeps telling you the same thing?" "Like maybe we're right." "Or maybe you could trust me." "I would like to believe that my family would find a way to be there for me." " You know we will." " No, I don't." "Mom and Dad aren't coming to my wedding." "My parents aren't coming to my wedding." "I can say it, but I can't quite make myself believe it." " I'm sorry." "I didn't know." " It doesn't matter, okay?" "All that matters is that I know that Jesse is the one." "JESSE:" "Hey!" " What's this?" " Well, this is a setup." "Hello, Max." "ISABEL:" "Hi." " Hi." " What's up?" " Well, I thought I'd let you ask, dear." " Tradition." " Right." "[CLEARS THROAT]" "I know we don't know each other too well yet but since we're going to be family I thought that..." "Actually Isabel and I thought that maybe we could start things off on the right foot by asking you if you'd consider being my best man." "Your best man?" "Yeah." "What do you say, Max?" "Okay." "Yeah." "Yeah, I'd be honored." "Great." "First, we need a sample of his blood." "Make sure he's not an alien." "Oh, yeah, that'll be easy." "Then we check his background, talk to his family, his friends try and find out everything we can about this guy." "We can't let Isabel know." "She feels abandoned by her family." "If she knows I'm not into this..." " Max, you're not into this." " I know." "I know." "But now that I've stupidly agreed to be best man, I can't let her know that." "Not until I have something solid on Jesse." "JESSE:" "Magruder called this afternoon." "There's still a chance we can rent the lodge for the reception but he can't commit until the Elks officially cancel." "Jesse, are you sure about this?" "No cold feet or last-minute butterflies?" "Yeah, I'm sure." "I don't think I've ever been more sure about anything in my life." "Okay, good." " Are you sure?" " Oh, I'm sure." "Nothing is stopping this wedding." "Nothing." "Yeah." "I gotta go meet the new photographer." "Bye." "Hey, wait a minute." " Something's wrong, I can tell." " No, it's just last-minute wedding stuff, that's all." " Well, don't stay up worrying about it." "ISABEL:" "Don't worry, I won't." "ISABEL:" "Do you approve?" "KIVAR:" "Do you need my approval?" "ISABEL:" "No." "KIVAR:" "Does your husband like this face?" "ISABEL:" "He's not my husband." "KIVAR:" "You won't marry him." "ISABEL:" "You can't stop me." "KIVAR:" "You'll stop yourself." "You will always be mine." "Good morning." "Oh, my God." " Hi." "ISABEL [WHISPERS]:" "Hi." "Is everything okay?" "Yeah." "Fine." "It, uh..." "Liz and I were a little worried when you didn't show up." "So when I got a break, I thought I'd pop over and see how the wedding's going." "Oh, my God!" "What time is it?" "What day is this?" " It's Saturday at 11:30." " Oh, my God, Maria, I'm really late." "I was supposed to be at the pavilion an hour ago to meet with the florist and I gotta pick up your bridesmaids dresses right now." "I have to do that." "I was supposed to do that a really long time ago." "Actually, if I had more time..." "And I actually have to drop off that check at the lodge or they're gonna give my space away." " Jeez." "No, no." "It's okay." " Oh, my God, I'm gonna..." " Sit down." "Don't worry about it." "Just don't worry." "There's no problem." "Everything's gonna be fine." "I promise you." "I promise you." "I'm gonna help you, okay?" " You're gonna help me?" " Mm-hm." "Thank you." "Thank you, Maria." " Okay." "MARIA:" "Okay." "You can start with..." "You just start with everything." "I gotta go." " Wait, you're gonna go?" " Yeah, I gotta run." "Um..." "Thank you so much." "So much, Maria." "[DOOR SHUTS]" "This is so not like Isabel." "Something's wrong." "No argument." "But the wedding is tomorrow." "What I've been able to gather is that there's a million things that should've been done." "So here's what I'm thinking." "We should just jump into this right now with both feet and take control of the situation." "Or we could sit back and let it all fall apart." "Exactly." "So, what's the most pressing emergency?" "My dress, your dress, her dress." "In that order." "My dress, your dress." "Let me just show you what she picked out for us." "I don't think I can do this shawl collar." "Let's try the double-breasted." "Hey, Jesse." "Congratulations." "All the best." "You're really getting a great girl." " Thanks." "But..." "Don't tell me." " Michael." "We met in..." " Utah." "Right." " Exactly." " I'm bad with names." " Oh, no, don't sweat that." "So 25 hours and counting." "You gotta be getting nervous." "You know it." " Oh, that's sharp." "JESSE:" "Thanks." "Um..." "So Max tells me that you're a local boy." "JESSE:" "Yeah, born and raised." "Then you went to Harvard?" " First, I did my undergraduate at Cornell." " That's in upstate New York, right?" " Why so far away?" "JESSE:" "Couple reasons." "Scholarship was one." "Mostly, just wanted to get out of New Mexico." "Yeah, I can relate." "Family problems, right?" "No." "No, nothing like that." "It's a restless feeling." "Just a desire to see something outside my window besides the desert." " I know the feeling." "I'm dying to get out of this place." "Tell me about Cornell." "What was it like?" "It was beautiful." "It sits on this hill overlooking Lake Cayuga." "There's a lot of great hiking trails." "The woods are gorgeous." "Anyway, I didn't make the Law Review so I knew I wouldn't be clerking for anyone on the Supreme Court." " No, of course not." "MAX:" "Could we go back?" "You changed apartments between your second and third year at Harvard." "Why did you move?" "[LAUGHS]" "Are you guys interrogating me or something?" " No." " No, no, no." "Just curious." "Small-town boys eager to hear about the outside world." "Wow, that's sharp." "MAX:" "You've been to a lot of other places that we really haven't, so..." " Roswell's Roswell." "JESSE:" "Yeah, you can say that again." "MICHAEL:" "Here, here." "Oh, try this on." "Ow!" " You okay?" " There's still a pin in there." "Oh, I'm sorry about that." " There's still a pin in the jacket." " Oh, Max, we gotta go." " We gotta do that thing we gotta do." " Yeah." "Sorry." " Yeah." "It was nice talking to you." " Yeah, you too." " You know, good luck." "All right, Max." " Thanks." "Thanks, guys." "We got bad news, Maxwell." "Jesse Ramirez is, ta-da, human." "Yeah, nice red blood cells." "Not a green one in the bunch." "[LOUD KNOCKING IN DOOR]" "Uh, I gotta go." "All right, I'm coming!" "I'm coming." "Michael, I'm in trouble." "We may all be in trouble." "There's an alien out there somewhere, and he's after me." "You know, it might just be a dream." "You're under a lot of pressure." "What's strange about dreaming about an alien?" "No, this is an alien who..." "Who knows me, who's intimate with me." "I mean, what if it's...?" "Oh, God." " Who?" " Kivar." "What if it's Kivar?" "So what if it is?" "It's probably still just a dream." "Yeah, okay." "Think about it for a second." "Who's Kivar?" " He's a man you had an affair with." " No!" "That wasn't me." "That was that other person." "That was you on another planet, okay?" "And how did this illicit affair turn out?" " It got us all killed." " This isn't helping." "Because you're not listening." "Don't you see what's going on?" "It's just a dream." "Your subconscious mind is screwing with you." "I mean, you know, guilt." "You feel guilty about what you did." "I don't even know what I did back then, for sure." "I mean all I really know is that I betrayed you and Max and my whole family for this..." "This Kivar." "[ISABEL SIGHS]" "God." "Why?" "What is wrong with me?" "I mean..." "Who does something like that?" "What if I betray Jesse the way I betrayed all of you?" "No." "Sit down." "None of us know what happened in that life." "All we know for certain is who we are in this life." "And in this life, you're Isabel." "And Isabel isn't the kind of person who's gonna betray her husband." "What if they're not just dreams?" "What if Kivar is really trying to contact me?" "So what?" "Kivar isn't here." "He's up there somewhere, on a different planet." "If he's trying to contact you, then we'll deal with it." "Okay." "Yeah, okay." "Good." "What is this?" "A school project." "Huh." "Whose blood is this?" "Is this Jesse's blood?" "Are you testing his blood now?" "And he passed!" "Because I knew he would pass." "I told Max." "Max is in on this?" "Oh, thank God you're here." "Okay, here's the situation." "There's a slight kink in the plans." "Your..." "Your dress is in Florida." "What?" "What?" "!" "Oh, God." "[DOOR OPENS]" "DIANE:" "Who would have thought." "PHILIP:" "That's true." "Hi." "What are you doing here, Max?" "I, uh, needed..." " For the wedding." " So you're going?" "Yeah, it's kind of complicated, but I'm, uh the best man." "DIANE:" "Really." "I thought you didn't approve." "Well, not entirely, but, you know family." "So how is your sister?" "I mean, she must be getting nervous." "PHILIP:" "Knowing Isabel, she's got everything wired right down to the number of petals on the roses." "Well, actually, she's been having kind of a tough time." "Oh?" "Yeah." "The, uh, dressmaker lost her wedding dress, so..." "[CLEARS THROAT]" "So you're still not going to the wedding?" "She's making the biggest mistake of her life, Max." "I can't stand there with a smile on my face and pretend to be happy about it." "You don't, you'll lose her." "You and I we're having problems." "And I don't know what to do about that right now." "But I hope that, eventually, we'll work it out." "But you miss your daughter's wedding, I don't think you'll ever work that out." "Liz, what the hell is going on?" "I got a call from the bakery about a wedding cake." "Uh, yeah, I'm catering Isabel's wedding." " I'm not laughing." " I'm not joking." "First of all, this is not a charity." "This is a business." " It's being paid for." " Second of all, I'm not stupid." "I know Max will be in this wedding." "If you think you've found some loophole to be around him, well, it's not gonna work." "I'm helping out a friend." "You see, my parents taught me that friends help each other." "So unless you plan on having me put away in handcuffs I'll behave like the person I was raised to be." "Now, excuse me." "Come on, you need a band at the reception." " Not a country-western band." " Maria, we need the exposure." "You know, you can play at the bachelor party." "How's that?" " Hey, Kyle!" "Tell her how good we are." " I'm not your publicist." "I need to talk to you." "I want you to do something for me at the wedding during the ceremony." " Not an usher, is it?" "I look so bad in those monkey suits." "I mean, I'm touched and all, but..." "No, I want you to give me away." " You mean...?" " Walk me down the aisle." "My, um..." "My parents aren't going." "And since I sort of think of you as a father figure, I thought..." "What do you say?" "Yes." " Yes, I'd be honored." " Thank you." " Have a seat." " I get it." " What are you talking about?" " I get it." "The whole stuck-in-Mayberry- until-we're-nice-to-Gomer routine." "Sorry I hurt your poor, little feelings." "Now how much will it take to fix the bus so the band can get back on the road and make the airdates I keep booking?" " Wait a minute." "You manage a band?" "No, Alice, I'm the program director of seven, count them seven radio stations spread across the Southwestern United States." "What band?" " Ivy." " Ivy." "Here?" "Unfortunately." "Let's talk." "[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]" "[MUSIC PLAYING]" "[CHEERING]" "[SINGING]" "What happened after you two passed the bar?" "We went our separate ways." "I didn't see him again until a year ago." " What was he doing then?" " In private practice." "Working for a big-time corporate law firm." "You boys don't play much nine-ball out here, do you?" "KYLE:" "Not like you Harvard boys." "Ooh!" "It's like a nightmare, isn't it?" "It just keeps getting worse and worse." "And that's the game." "That's 20 big ones, my friend." "I'd love to sit here and answer questions all night but I'm married." "This is a bachelor party, and time is a-wasting." "Whoa." "Excuse me." "It's time to let it go." "You're not gonna find anything because there's nothing to find." "My alien friend, there's someone I'd like you to meet." "Hey, I'm Max Evans, the best man." "So how long have you known Jesse?" "KIVAR:" "You will always be mine." "ISABEL:" "I marry him tomorrow." "KIVAR:" "It means nothing." "ISABEL:" "It means I'm finished with you." "Goodbye, Kivar." "[SINGING]" "Yeah, we talked on the phone all the time." "Well, except for when he was doing that FBI thing." "FBI?" "I don't know what he did." "He wouldn't talk about it." "Said it was classified." "National security, that kind of stuff." "RICHIE:" "I can't believe you sunk the nine ball again." " Double or nothing." " You read my mind." "You interrogating my friends?" "I'm just asking questions." "[MEN GROANING]" "It's like a nightmare, isn't it?" "That's what that was about in the tuxedo shop too, wasn't it?" "You and your friend trying to build some kind of dossier on me?" ""Dossier"?" "That's an interesting word for someone who used to work for the FBI." "What?" "What you talking about?" "I never worked for the FBI." "Louis said you had a mysterious, classified job at the FBI." "Louis is an idiot." "I did an internship at the DEA for a semester and, yeah, some of it was classified." "But what the hell business is it of yours?" "You looking for some dirt on me?" "Some excuse to get Isabel to call off the wedding?" " That's not it." " The hell it isn't!" "RICHIE:" "I'm calling you a cheater!" "MICHAEL:" "Say it to my face!" "Come on, guys." "Come on." "Come on." "Nobody makes shots like that." "A statistical impossibility." " How would you know?" " I'm a statistician." "[LAUGHING]" "Ooh." "Whatever." "Just give him his money back, man." "JESSE:" "Richie, what's going on?" " These rednecks are trying to hustle us." " What did you just call us?" "MAX:" "Just calm down." " I said you're a redneck jerk-off!" " Hey, calm down." "Back off!" " You broke his nose?" "!" "MAX:" "I didn't mean to." "It just happened." "You happened to be swinging your fist, and he happened to step in front!" "Look, I am sorry." "It was a party." "People were drinking too much." "I didn't..." "Things got out of control." "Oh." "Like your investigation." "Is that one of those things that got a little out of control?" " I can explain." " Don't bother." "I understand perfectly." "You don't trust me." " It's not about trust." " It is all about trust, Max." "God, do you really think that I would marry someone I don't even know?" "Someone who might be secretly working for the FBI, or even an alien?" "Don't you think I've walked through his dreams a few times and that maybe I checked on his alien status a long time ago?" "!" "God, Max!" "The irony here is that I trusted you." "I trusted you to stand up at my wedding when my whole family bailed." "I trusted you to be there for me and you weren't." "[QUARTET PLAYING]" "It's fine." "I know it's not exactly what you wanted, but..." " We searched every store in Roswell." "ISABEL:" "No, it's fine." "And thank you." "Thank you both so much for everything you've already done." "And it'll be really really fine." "DIANE:" "It's lovely." "I mean, really, it is." "But I just thought that maybe as an option..." "This was my wedding dress, girls, and my mother wore it before I did." "I'd be honored..." "I mean, I don't know if we can possibly get it altered in time." "No." "No, I will find a way." "Good." "[KNOCKING]" "Guess who's here." "Hi." "Can I leave you two alone, or do I have to referee?" "Thanks, Mom." "I picked up a steak on the way over." "An old wives' tale, Max." " I just wanted to say that..." " Forget about it." "No, really I was way out of line, interrogating your friends." "I mean Isabel's obviously in love with you and you obviously make her happy." "And I don't know why I couldn't accept that." "You probably know this from all of your research." "My father died when I was 13." "But you don't know it was four years before my mother ever saw another man." "And I couldn't take it, not even then." "I hated them." "You didn't want anyone replacing your father." "Partially, yeah." "But even more than that, it was..." "They weren't good enough for my mother." "No one, to tell you the truth, could ever be good enough for my mother." "So I understand." "No one's ever going to be good enough for Isabel." " I'll get over it." " Maybe." "I never did." "But we gotta put it behind us, all right?" "Because even if we're not going to be friends we are going to be family." " So you wanna eat that steak or what?" " Uh..." "Just hold it there." "It just takes a second." "Uh..." "I don't know." "Take a look." "JESSE:" "Yeah." "Look at that." "[WEDDING MARCH PLAYS]" " This is it." "Are you ready?" " I don't think so." "May I?" "I, Isabel Amanda, take thee, Jesse Esteban to be my wedded husband." "I, Jesse Esteban, take thee, Isabel Amanda to be my wedded wife." "ISABEL:" "In sickness and in health..." "JESSE:" "In plenty and in want..." "ISABEL:" "In joy and in sorrow..." " For as long as we both shall live." "MINISTER:" "By the authority committed unto me as minister of the Church of Jesus Christ I now proclaim that Jesse and Isabel are husband and wife." "You may kiss the bride." "[CHEERING]" "MAX:" "If I could have your attention, please." "Hi, I'm Max Evans the best man." "[CLEARS THROAT]" "Isabel and I, uh..." "Well, I'm sure you all know the story how they found us little kids wandering in the desert." "No one knew where we came from or where we belonged." "We didn't know anything either who our parents were, how we got there." "All we had was each other." "Two people took us in gave us names, made us part of their family something I'll always, will always, be grateful for." "Growing up, I always felt very protective of my big sister." "I always tried to look out for her." "I guess what I've come to realize is that she doesn't need me anymore to protect her." "She's too strong for that." "So, uh to Jesse." "Welcome to the family." "I think you'll find it's going to be an interesting experience." "[CROWD LAUGHS]" "And to Isabel I love you I trust you and I wish you all the happiness in the world." "To Jesse and Isabel." "ALL:" "To Jesse and Isabel." "To Jesse and Isabel." "[APPLAUSE]" "All right, Karter, you're on." "Hit it." "[MUSIC PLAYS]" "[APPLAUSE]" "[SINGING]" "[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]" "There's a chafing dish in my truck, get that." "MAN:" "Right away." " Dad." " Yes?" " I'm gonna dance with Max." "Not because it's tradition, and not because I found some kind of loophole but because it's my choice." "We love each other, and we are gonna be together." "And I love you too." "[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]" "KIVAR:" "Stay calm and, uh, keep smiling, Isabel." "You're not here." "You're not really here." "Oh, I am here." "I've, um, come for you." "No, I'm dreaming or sleeping or something." "May I?" "To your happy day and many more happy days still to come." "I'll see you soon." "Can I dance with the bride?" " Kyle, did you just see that guy?" " The guy you were dancing with?" "You saw him?" "You really saw him?" "Sure." "Yeah." "Why?" "Who is he?" "Someone who can't be here." "Subtitles by SDI Media Group" "[ENGLISH SDH]"