"Oh, look how cute I was." "Oh, yeah, you were cute, too." "This is going to look so adorable at our college dorm." "Lilly, college is not all about decorating your room." "It's about getting an education and expanding your mind." "Now, with that being said, which one of these fake glasses makes me look more higherly educated?" "This one?" "Or... this one?" "Miley, if you're going to be using the phrase "more higherly educated" at Stanford you're gonna need more than fake glasses to pull it off." "Oh, Lillian, you loquacious provocateur." "Just admit it, I look scary smart." "No, you just look scary scary." "You really think you're gonna get away with fake glasses for four years?" "Of course not." "The second year I'll have fake contacts, third year, fake laser eye surgery and the fourth year I'll probably have to get one eye redone, so that'll give me a week to get a really cute eye patch." "You just always have to have a secret, don't ya?" "And your faithful Hannah wig isn't even cold yet?" "Shame on you." "Whoa!" "Who's that intelligent-looking college girl over there?" "Oh, well, that would be me." "Your daughter is the pathological liar wearing the fake glasses." "Oh, yeah?" "Says the girl that told Oliver she never kissed anybody before..." "It made him feel special!" "Well, lookie here." "Somebody's thoughtful daddy got them a Stanford sweatshirt." "Thought you might want to wear it tomorrow when you head up for orientation." "Oh, Dad this is returnable, right?" "What are you talking about?" "It's perfect." "Oh, yeah, if you want me to look like a shapeless lump." "If you put the hood up, you couldn't even tell I'm a girl." "Like I said, it's perfect." "Now, Lilly, why don't you get yours on." "I'll take a picture of my two college girls." "Or..." "I could just, you know, get in there with her." "Oh, yeah?" "See what happens the next time you want to borrow my car up in Stanford." "Oh, really?" "What are you gonna do?" "Hide it in your sweatshirt?" "Zing!" " Hello?" " I gotta get outta this thing." "Like I said, guys, Miley is not interested in doing any movie right now." "Yeah, I'm going to college, and no movie's gonna change that." "Well, listen, it doesn't matter to her that Tom Cruise is her costar." "You tell Mr. Spielberg I said thanks but no thanks." "Oversized-sweatshirt-buying Daddy who just said three-time Academy Award-winning director/producer of Jaws, Jurassic Park, E. T., Men in Black One and Two wants me to star in his next big blockbuster opposite of Mission:" "Impossible hunky hunk Tom Cruise, say what?" "Whoo!" "Here we go, everybody!" "♪ Come on ♪" "♪ You get the limo out front ♪" "♪ Oooh ♪" "♪ Hottest styles Every shoe, every color ♪" "♪ Yeah, when you're famous it can be kind of fun ♪" "♪ It's really you but no one ever discovers ♪" "♪ Who would have thought that a girl like me ♪" "♪ Would double as a superstar ♪" "Whooo!" "♪ You get the best of both worlds ♪" "♪ Chill it out Take it slow ♪" "♪ Then you rock out the show ♪" "♪ You get the best of both worlds ♪" "♪ Mix it all together and you know ♪" "♪ That it's the best of both worlds ♪" "♪ Ooh, whaa, ooh, whaa, oh ♪" "Miley, are you actually thinking about calling back and taking this movie?" "Of course not." "Why don't I believe you?" "Because I'm lying through my crooked-yet-uniquely-charming teeth." "Come on, Dad." "It's Steven "Phone home" Spielberg." "The greatest director of our time." "OK, all right." "Time for that picture of me and my roomie in her roomy sweatshirt." "See what I did there?" "That's college humor." "Here you go." "I can't believe we're gonna do this." "I am so proud of you." "I mean, you gave up this secret, and you put your entire career on hold just so we can go to college together." "I mean, who does that?" "I don't know if I could do that." "Really?" "Yeah, I mean, you're not just my best friend, you are my hero." "You here that, Mile?" "You're her hero." "Take the dang picture, Dad." "Let me see." "Aw, that's gonna look so cute in the collage." "I gotta e-mail it to Oliver because I look cute." "Oh." "Yeah, you do, too." "Eh." "Well, bud, looks like you're in a bit of a pickle." "What do you want me to do?" "Call back Spielberg or let it go?" "Mile?" "I want this part more than anything else in the world but if it means disappointing Lilly, I can't do it." "'Cause I'm her hero." "Unless you insist that I take a year off of college to do this movie because, you know, you are my daddy and... daddies know best." "Honey, I could never tell you not to go to college." "It's gotta be your decision and yours alone." "Fine." "I'll be a good friend and go to college with Lilly." "You know, the closer I get to 18, the more useless you become." "Honey, as long as you wear this boy-repellent sweatshirt I got you, you can call me any names you want to." "Wow." "Who's this from?" "Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise." "Oh, boy." ""Hey Miley, Steven and I really want you to do the movie." "Hope the script and the muffin will convince you." "Love, Tom."" ""PS, this card will self-destruct in five seconds."" "Yeah, right." "♪ Oh, hey ♪" "♪ Oh ♪" "Not another kids' party?" "They clutter up my pier, they block my customers..." "Parents are always asking you if you need help finding your mommy." "That's funny." "And you know what's funnier, my new policy." "No shirt, no shoes no Jackson." "I don't have time for your petty little games, you petty little man." "I have a job to get to." "You have a job?" "Doing what?" "Stewart you're up." "Oh, no, you're doing kids' parties now?" "Do they string you up like a piñata and smack you until you spit out candy?" "No, I don't spit out candy." "I spit out knowledge." "It's my job to educate and enlighten the youngsters of today about their place in the glorious ecosystem that is our Earth." "This is my friend Cuddles." "He's a Burmese python, one of the six largest snakes in the wwrld." "Where you goin' there, buddy?" "This isn't what we rehearsed." "Uh, some snakes use venom to paralyze their prey." "Others simply squeeze the life out of them, as Cuddles is so playfully demonstrating now." "Kids, don't try this at home." "Oh, look at the pretty stars." "This is the best birthday party ever." "Jackson, why are you putting yourself through this?" "There's gotta be better jobs out there than professional snake snack." "You think I haven't tried?" "I've been looking for a job for weeks." "I even carry around my resume in hopes that one of the parents at these stupid parties has a job opening in their company." "No wonder you're not getting a job." "This resume's a mess." "Is that snake urine?" "Yes." "Look, man, I need the money." "Siena is always buying me these great gifts, and I never have any cash to get anything for her." "And now her birthday's coming up, and I just wanna get her something as nice as the dual time zone, solid gold," "Gushenflagen watch she got me for my birthday." "I mean, check this thing out, it's..." "Jackson, is this yours?" "I picked it out of Cuddles's vomit." "Yeah, thanks." "Hey, honey, what's up?" "Just wondering what time it is." "Well, let me check my beautiful watch, given to me by my even more beautiful girlfriend." "It's 2:20." "Just four more hours until I can get out of this bikini, change into some comfy sweats and come over to see you." "Or if you're running late you can just come over in the b-b-b-bikini." " You're so f-f-f-funny." " OK, we'll see you after work." "OK, bye." "You know, Jackson, if you need a job that bad, you can come back and work for me." "No!" "Ahh!" "You know I may have bruised ribs and a watch covered in bits o' dead mouse but I still have my pride." "All right." "Ready to box the kangaroo?" "I believe the question is, is the kangaroo ready to box me?" "They're always brave at first." "Oh, you're gonna need this." "She fights dirty." "Of course she does." "♪ Yeah, yeah, ooh, ooh ♪" "Oh, mud crunkies, I can't believe how good this is." "I know." "The chocolate chip is incredible." "Mmm!" "I meant the script." "It's perfect for me." "How would you know?" "You barely cracked the cover." "It's about a girl from Alabama who goes to Paris as a Foreign Exchange student and is recruited by the CIA to pose as the daughter of an oil tycoon to stop a plot to bring down the World Bank." "So basically I'm a Southern girl with a double identity." "I think I can handle that." "You just gonna forget about college and Lilly?" "One minute." "You couldn't let me enjoy it for one minute." " Mile..." " I've got an idea." "Why don't I just, you know, take off college for a year." "And Lilly?" "Could you be a bigger buzzkill?" "Miley, you gotta tell her what's goin' on." "I know." "But do you think once I tell her the truth, she'll understand?" "Either way, she deserves to know the truth." "And Mr. Buzzkill strikes again." "Can I please tell you again how excited I am that we are going to college together?" "You don't have to say that." "You don't, really." "You don't!" "No I do, because I just got off the phone with Jeannie, who's at our college orientation at North Carolina and she just found out that she's rooming with a germophobic, insomniac with a sinus condition, who walks around all night" "in, like, little crinkly sanitary booties, going, "Nyah!" "Nyah!"" "Nightmare!" "Well, yeah, you can think of it like that or you can think of it as Jeannie growing as a more tolerant and compassionate person, which could very well be the most valuable lesson that she learns in college." "Yeah, I mean, I guess I can look at it that way." "But I don't have to because I got you... roomie." "Yeah, uh..." "Look, Lilly, I'm no big deal, really." "I'm not." "Really." "Yeah, well, you are to me." "Look, I never told you this but I was kinda nervous that you were never really gonna go to college with me." "That a world tour or one of those stupid movie offers was gonna come up and it would be too hard for you to resist, and you would just bail." "But you didn't." "And I can't tell you how much that means to me." "And I can't tell you what hearing you say that means to me." "Really, I can't." "♪ Ooh ♪" "♪ Ooh, ah, ooh ♪" "Now listen, son." "I went to bed at 2:ooam and your sister was still up trying to figure out this Lilly situation." "So play nice." "I don't want you beating her up." "Yeah, nice to see you're so worried about her being beat up." "Where were you when Candy the kangaroo was using my face for a punching bag?" "You're telling me you got whooped by a girl kangaroo?" "It wasn't my fault." "Apparently, I look a lot like her ex-boyfriend, Bobo." "Well, do me a favor, son." "Try to be less you and more not you." "She gonna be in a foul mood." "Morning, family!" "Oh, yeah." "She's devastated." "You are still going to orientation, aren't you?" " Yup." " So you decided on college instead of the movie?" " Nope." " But you're still going to orientation." " Yep." " You haven't told Lilly yet." " Nope." " Lord, I smell a plan." "Daddy, I'm no longer in high school." "I no longer solve my problems with some silly high jinks." "See, I create a sequence of logical actions that, when executed properly, lead you to the desired result." "So in other words..." "a plan." "Yes, a plan." "But a plan so brilliant, that when it came to me at 4:37 in the morning," " it was a gift from the gods." " Let me guess." "Since Lilly thinks it's gonna be hard to go to college without you, you're gonna show her it's even harder to go to college with you." "Oh, come on, son." "She's been up all night." "Surely she's got something smarter than that." "I hate this family." "♪ Hey ♪" "♪ Yeah, yeah ♪" "♪ Hey, yeah ♪" "The sky is blue." "What are you doing?" "Oh, nothing." "Decided I'm gonna take French this year." "Thought I'd better get a head start, you know?" "I'll probably be doing this a lot." "All night long sometimes." "The cat is on the wall." "Not annoying you, am I?" "Oh, no, actually I always wanted to take French, so, here, I'll do it with you." " Here, give me another one." " We're done studying for today." "♪ La da di da ♪" "♪ Oh, yeah ♪" "What are you doing?" "Nothing, must be a pollen thing." "It's weird." "It gets worse the farther north and the closer to Stanford we get." "This musta been what Jeannie was talking about." "I am so shnorry." "You know what?" "It's OK." "After the sacrifices you've made just to be in this car with me, you can do anything, and I could handle it." "This is going to be the best four years of our lives." "♪ Hey ♪" "♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪" "♪ Hey, yeah ♪" "Pea-green walls and dark wood." "I hate dark wood." "It's oppressive, it's oppressive and oppressive." "And all the other awful things in the "ive" family." "Will you please stop being so doom and gloom?" "College is gonna be great." "Here, let's go meet our new classmates." "Our new classmates, that's it." " That's what?" " That's gonna be a problem." "You see, I can't go in there." "Once I go in there, they're gonna recognize and mob me." "And then you're gonna get pushed aside and only be known as" ""that blonde chick with Miley" for the next four years." "It's not gonna be that bad." "This isn't high school any more." "Like that makes a difference." "You seem to forget, I'm world famous." "We're here for the orientation weekend." "This is Lilly Truscott and I'm Miley Stewart." "Miley Stewart!" "See?" "Look, nobody mobbed you." "Thanks." "Come on." "Here it comes." "Sorry to bother you." "Do you have a pen?" "Who do you want me to make it out to?" "Oh, no." "I just need to write my roommate's phone number down." "Thanks." "See?" "She didn't care who you were." "College kids are awesome." "What have I been saying this entire drive?" "This is going to be the best four years of our lives." "Take a pack." "♪ Oh, ho ♪" "♪ Wow, wow ♪" "♪ Hey, hey ♪" "My girlfriend is totally gonna love this necklace." "Now just make sure that nobody else picks this horse until I bring her over." "What if she wants the bunny?" "Girls love bunnies." "Well, this one loves horses." "Why doesn't she like bunnies?" " Why do you care?" " I don't know." "I just do." "Just guard the horse." "Fine, but you're taking the joy out of what coulda been a lovely, romantic moment for all of us." "I'll survive." "So, what's today's "get rich slow" scheme?" "Gonna put the clown suit on and let a monkey slap you silly?" "It was an orangutan, and afterwards, we shared a banana and hugged it out, so..." "Look, bottom line is, I may have humiliated myself the last few weeks..." "Years." "Sorry, keep going." "But, I finally made enough money to buy Siena that." "A stuffed horse?" "Wouldn't she prefer the bunny?" "Girls love bunnies." "That's what I said." "She likes horses!" "And I'm talking about the necklace, which totally makes us even for the watch." "Gifts are supposed to be about love, not getting even." "You're such a child." "Oh, back off." "Here she comes." " Hey, honey." " Hey." "I'm starving, let's..." "What happened to your eye?" "Oh, um, a little old lady..." "Big scary mugger..." "I took care of it." "Anywho, uh, before we go," "I won all these tickets." "If only I had a special birthday girl to give them to." "Aw, Jackson, you're so sweet." "I know just what I want." " Oh, you do?" "Do you?" " Mm-hmm." " I want the bunny." " What?" " We saw that coming." " Pound it." "What about the horse?" "See how cute he is?" "He's blue and he's cute." "And..." "He's blue." "He is cute, but I want the bunny." " OK, I'll get it." " No, I'll get it." " I'll get it." " I will get it!" "Just... wanna make sure it doesn't have any bugs." "Oh, looking good." "All clean." "Here we go." "You know, you're right, the horse is cuter." "I'll take the horse." " OK." " But, you can leave the necklace." " Happy birthday." " Oh, I love it." "And you know where I can't wait to wear it?" " Where?" " In your brand-new car!" "Happy six-month anniversary, baby!" " You got me a... a car!" " Mm-hmm." "Break out the clown suit, brother." "You got work to do." "♪ La di di da da ♪" "♪ Oh, yeah ♪" "Yeah, Oliver, the campus tour was so awesome." "It's so beautiful here." "Oh, and the best part?" "Nobody even noticed that Miley was Miley." "Uh-huh." "It was like, "Hannah Montana?" "Eh!" "Miley Stewart?" "Eh!"" "He gets it." "Your dad got it." "Your mom got it." "Move on!" "Yeah, she's just having a little trouble adjusting." "I can't fit all my clothes in here." "A Muppet couldn't fit their clothes in here." "Yeah, but she's just gonna have to deal with it!" "So anyway, this weekend we get to spend the night in the same room that in two weeks is gonna be ours for a whole year." "A year?" "In this shoebox?" "It looked way bigger in the brochure." "That is false advertisement." "I gotta go." "Yeah." "Yeah, high maintenance Miley is back." "I can't breathe in here." "Can you breathe in here?" "I can't breathe." "OK, look, Miley." "You have got to calm down, OK?" "If it bothers you that much, just open the window." " OK." " OK." "Oh, sweet pea!" "It won't open!" "I need to get outta here!" "Miley, are you gonna be like this all year?" "What'd you say?" "I can't hear you with all the racket!" "What racket?" "Yo!" "24-hour part-ay people." "Can you have a little consideration?" " Sorry, we..." " Cut the attitude!" "Miley!" "I'm sorry!" "Look, she's not normally like this!" "You have got to get a grip, OK?" "Everything is going to be fine." "We're here together, and nothing is gonna ruin that." "Hi, hi!" "Oh, no." " Guess who lives next door?" " I know!" "I know!" "We do!" "If you weren't rich, I'd totally dump you." "What are you guys doing here?" "Just sticking tight with our Malibu crew." "And since we always loved you in high school..." "You hated us in high school." "True." "But that was only because we didn't know Miley was famous." " And now that we do..." " We love you!" "Ooh, ooh." "I thought you guys gave that up when you realized it was lame." "If I gave up everything I thought was lame," "I wouldn't be hanging out with her." "Good one!" "Oh!" "Hey, look, cute college guys by the vending machine." " Ooh, where?" " Bye, now." "Oh, my gosh, Lilly." "You know what I just realized?" "As long as I'm here, they're never gonna leave us alone." "You know what that means." "The only way you're really gonna enjoy Stanford is if I leave." "What are you talking about?" "I mean, you never let Amber and Ashley bother you before, why don't we just deal with them like we always do and just ignore them?" "Yeah, but that's not fair to you." "So, I guess I'll just have to take a year off." "You know, go do some big Hollywood budget movie or something." "'Cause that's how much I love you." "My best friend." " What was that?" " What was what?" "That hug." "That wasn't your, "I'm your best friend and I'll do anything for you" hug." "That was your, "I feel guilty, and I'm trying to get out of something" hug." "No it wasn't." "See?" "Yeah!" "You patted my back!" "You only pat my back when you feel guilty." "That's not true!" "That wasn't a pat." "That was a rub." "See?" "A rub!" "With a hint of a pat." "A little bit of both." "You know, a pat-rub." "I call it a "pub."" "Yeah, well I call it a lie." "What's going on?" "I'm gonna go do a Steven Spielberg movie with Tom Cruise that shoots in Europe for a year." "What?" "I'm gonna go do a Steven Spielberg..." "Yeah, I heard you!" "I can't believe this." "Now I'm the one who can't breathe in here." "Lilly, wait." "Please!" "Lilly, please wait." "Look, I know that you're mad at me." "And we've been dreaming about college forever, and now you think I'm being selfish and bailing on you." "You are!" "True." "But you haven't read the script." "Lilly, please, I know that this is a dream of ours, but this is a dream of mine, too." " How can I pass it up?" " You can't pass it up!" "It's Tom Cruise and Steven Spielberg!" " So you understand?" " Of course I do." "But what I don't understand is that after six years, you don't know me well enough to know that, yeah," "I would be really mad at you, but then I'd be really happy for you." "I just didn't want to go through the really mad part." "Yeah?" "Well, guess what?" "You got it anyway." "As for the happy part?" "Don't hold your breath." "Lilly, I didn't know what else to do!" "So you thought you'd do anything you could to make me not want to go to college with you?" "Well, congratulations." "You got your wish." "You're the last person I would want to go to college with." "No, you're the last person that I would want to go anywhere with!" "♪ Mmm ♪" "♪ Oh ♪" "Lilly, you can't stay mad at me forever." "Please talk to me." "Lilly?" "Lilly." "It's..." "You go away to Paris to do a stupid movie, and you can't even speak French?" "Pff!" "♪ You're a true friend ♪" "Yeah, right." "♪ ...do you wanna dance ♪" "♪ My barefoot Cinderella ♪" "Are you kidding me?" "Coming up, a new song from Pink!" " Finally." " But first, a block of five from Miley Stewart, aka Hannah Montana!" "♪ Kiss it goodbye ♪" "Gladly." "Lilly, please talk to me." "Come on." "Anything's better than the silence." "Fine, here's something." "Until I go away to college, I'm moving back in with my dad." "♪ Oh, yeah ♪" "Hey, Jackson!" "I've been thinking about your proble and I found a couple of jobs you might be good for." "At a cat hospital, cleaning up poop." "At a dog hospital, cleaning up poop." "Or if working with animals is beneath you, there's one at a daycare center, cleaning up..." "I get it!" "I get it!" "All right?" "It's very amusing." "But I was just getting ready to apply for a job that's way more humiliating than any of those." "Thank you for dining at Rico's." "Hey-oh." "And I thought the days of you working for me were gone forever." "But I guess the old saying is true." ""If you love something, set it free." "And if it comes back, it was meant to be."" "Curse my Latin emotions." "Hey, honey." "Your dad said you were down here." "It is such a beautiful day, let's take a ride in your car." "I can't." "I'm working." "At Rico's?" "But you hate him." "You called him a pus-filled sore on the devil's hairy butt." "No offense." "None taken." "Look, I don't have a choice." "I have to work here." "Not all of us can be pop stars, or supermodels, or evil multimillionaires." "Some of us are just regular people, and we have to take regular jobs, because we can barely afford regular presents, even though we buy them at police evidence auctions." "Oh, no, don't worry." "I have a signed affidavit saying nobody got whacked while wearing it." "♪ Ooh, wah, ooh, yay ♪" "♪ Ah, ooh ♪" "Oliver, she's serious." "She really is gonna move back in with her dad." "She's in there packing right now." "You've got to help me." "What do you mean "no?"" "Why are you on her side?" "Oh, Oliver." "Soulmate, shmoulmate." "This is real life." "This ain't some Nicholas Sparks novel." "Oliver?" "Hello?" "Oh, you are gutless." "Oy!" "I hate my life." "Your sequence of logical actions didn't achieve their desired results?" "Your sequence of logical actions didn't achieve their desired..." "You're not doing the mimic thing." "We always do the mimic thing." "What's the point?" "Oh, wow." "Siena dumped you, huh?" "Worse." "She bought me a car." "And that's a problem?" "How hard did that kangaroo hit you?" "Look, you don't get it, my girlfriend has a career, and the only jobs I can get are either working for Rico or letting exotic animals beat and squeeze the snot and other liquids out of me." "I'm gonna pretend you're talking about a water bottle" " in your pocket and move on." " If only." "Well, at least your job doesn't make you choose between an opportunity of a lifetime" " and your best friend." " Hey, that's the price you pay for being so ridiculously talented." "OK, first no mimic fight and now a compliment?" "Seriously, Jackson, how hard did that kangaroo hit you?" "Look, I know that things are bad right now with Lilly, but trust me, the way my life is going" "I would so rather be you than me." "Oh, don't worry, Jackson." "You'll get a real job." "Someday." "You've got a lot to offer." " Like what?" " I don't know, but whatever it is, you've definitely got a boatload of it." "And one day someone will give you a job that's worthy of your..." "as yet undiscovered talents." ""As yet undiscovered talents." "As yet undiscovered talents!"" "Seriously, now?" "Sorry, I was just starting to feel close to you, and it was creeping me out." "But... thanks." "And... don't worry." "I'm sure you and Lilly are gonna figure this out." "I can't imagine you guys not being best friends." "I don't know, Jackson." "I really messed up." "I've never seen her so mad." "And it didn't help at all when you asked her to go to Paris with you?" "I didn't ask her." "You ask her to go tours, concerts." "You don't even go to the bathroom without asking her if she wants to come along." "Hey!" "All girls do that." "You never know when you're gonna need to borrow a lipstick, or a toilet paper." "And Lilly carries three-ply with aloe." "I'm gonna miss that." "Seriously, men and women..." "Same species, worlds apart." "Jackson, look, Lilly does not want to go to Paris." "I mean, she really wants to go to college." "If she wanted to go to Paris she would've started dropping hints the minute I told her about it." " Oh, no." " What?" "She started dropping hints the minute I told her about it." "You're the last person I would want to go to college with." "No, you're the last person I would want to go anywhere with." "That was a hint?" "Yeah." "She said, "go anywhere with."" "She coulda stopped at college, but no, she added "anywhere."" "Which means Paris, the place I didn't ask her to go." "And why would she hint at Paris, if she didn't want to go." "All right, let me try to think like a girl." "No, still don't get it." "Maybe you're right." "When Lilly's fishing for something, she adds a "Pff" at the end." "Oh, no." "You go away to Paris to do a stupid movie, and you can't even speak French?" "Pff." "Pff." "Pff." "See?" "She did a "pff," but it was delayed." "It was a delayed "pff."" "A delayed "pff?"" "Yes, a delayed "pff." That's why I didn't see it." "Jackson, you're right." "I gotta go talk to her." " Thank you." "You're a genius." " You're welcome." "I don't know what I did." "But you're welcome." "I don't wanna know why." "I don't wanna know how." "I just wanna enjoy this moment for as long as it lasts." "Much bettfr." "Now it's time for the stupid collage of stupid times with stupid Miley..." "Oh, hey, that was that time we went pumpkin carving." "That was really fun." "No it wasn't!" "Lilly?" "I know the real reason you're mad at me." "Oh, really?" "What was your first clue, when I told you?" "No." "I said "the real reason" little miss "pff."" " What?" " I may have given you the pat, but you gave me the "pff." And I know why." "It's 'cause I didn't ask you to go to Paris with me." "Well, it sure took you long enough." "Hey, it was a delayed "pff."" "I had a delayed reaction." "You're being a little unfair." "I'm being unfair?" "First you lie to me about the movie, and then you don't even want me to come with you?" "Look, Lilly, of course I want you to go with me." "It's just..." "I didn't ask 'cause I know how much college means to you." " Really?" " Yeah." "Well, you could've at least asked." "Is it too late?" "Try me." "Lilly, do you want to go to Paris with me?" "No." "No?" "Why'd you make me ask you?" "Because I needed to hear it." "I need to know that this friendship means as much to you as it does to me." "And I can't put off college." "Why not, Lilly?" "Come on, picture it." "Think about it." "When we're in Europe." "I mean, all the culture and the history, and the language." "It'll be an educational experience that is fantastique." "That's "fantastic" in French." " Miley, come on." " No, I'm serious." "Think about it, next year, in class, when they're talking about the Golden Arches of Triumph, we'll have actually been there." "It's the Arc de Triomphe." "It's not someplace you drive through to get fries." "French fries." "Hey." "Come on, Lilly." "Not only will it be an amazing learning experience, but you'll be around Tom Cruise and Steven Spielberg." ""Yo, Tommy!" "Stevie!" "Can't have lunch with you today but try me tomorrow!"" "That'll be you." "Well..." "Come on, your folks'll be cool with it." "I don't know!" "I mean, I always thought, you know, you go to high school and then you go to college but I guess people do take time off." "And an opportunity like this, I mean, it is kind of fantastique." "Do you really want me to go with you?" "More than anything." "Well, then, how can I say no?" " We're going to Paris!" " Paris, France!" "Yay!" "I can't wait to go see the Awful Tower!" "Kidding." "♪ Hey, oh, oh ♪" "Today on Real Geniuses, Albert Einstein." "Underachiever until the age of 26, when he discovered the Theory of Relativity." "Twenty-six." "That means I got plenty of time." "Of course I had the IQ of 160." "What's yours?" "Get out!" "Hey, Jackson." "Dude, it's bad enough that I have to work for you." "I don't need the reek of your Rico-ness in my house." "I'm only here because, well, I though about what you said and and you're right." "That you're the result of a botched Chihuahua cloning experiment?" " No." " That you can get a full workout in a hamster wheel?" " No..." " That you can fit your entire body inside..." "Jackson!" "You're fired." "What?" "Just because I insulted you?" "That's our thing." "That's what makes us us." "No, I firing you because until you get a real job, you're never going to feel good about yourself." "Which should make you feel terrific." "I know!" "But I don't!" "It's weird, right?" "Maybe it's because I'm leaving for college, and all of a sudden I'm worried about you?" "Yeah." "And I'm worried about hitting my head on the top of the doorframe every time I leave a room." "Jackson, I'm not joking." "I'm h helping you." "Here." "I called in a favor and I got you a great job." "What?" "Well, I thought about your marketable skills." "And then when I realized you didn't have any, I dug deeper." "And then it hit me." "You have the attention span of a gnat, the tiny, little hands of a six-year-old boy." "And you can sit on the couch longer than anyone I've ever met." "A videogame tester?" "You'll evaluate new games, give input on software design and playability, with the opportunity to move up into game creation and development." "OK, you start on Monday." "I can't believe you'd do this for me." "Neither can I." "But I guess when I look underneath my disgust, disdain and utter lack of respect for you." "You're my best fr..." "Fr..." "Fr..." "Fr..." "Fr..." "Fr..." "Frien..." "It's OK." "You don't have to say it." "Oh, thank you." "And Rico, you're my fr..." "Frien..." "This where you say, I don't actually have to say it." "Yeah, but I actually want to hear you say it." "So..." "You're my friend, too." "Oh, now you've gone and done it." "OK." " Back to normal on three?" " Yeah." "One, two..." " Backwards bubble head!" " Bird-faced freak!" "And wait till you see your new office." "New office?" "Turbo boost acceleration lag in turn three." "Uh, spotty pixilation on the vehicle undercarriage." "And come on, graphics division, when an alien's head explodes, let's not skimp on the brain chunks and the eye goo." "Could you get that over to corporate, Gina?" "Yes, Mr. Stewart." "She called me Mr. Stewart." "Tough day at work, dear?" " Oh, just brutal." " Mm-hmm." "First my lower back jet went out, and now my swim trunks are riding up." "Mm-hmm." "Oh, and you worked through it?" "I am so proud of you." "That's just the kind of man I am." "Come on, Jackson." "We've been packing all day." "Yeah, and you said you'd be outta your "office" by five." "Hey, some of us take our jobs seriously." "Now get out of here." "I have a deadline, and I'm working through dinner." "Then why is Siena here?" "Oh, I brought dinner." "Who likes shrimp?" "Obviously you do." "And he's in the hot tub." " He's in the hot tub." " He's in the hot tub." " He's in the hot tub." " He's in the hot tub." " He's in the hot tub!" " He's in the hot tub!" "That was kinda mean." "Nope, that's just us." "♪ Oh, yeah ♪" "♪ Ooh, wah, ooh ♪" "Flight 14 to Paris will begin preboarding shortly." "Oh." "Chair." "Window." "Uh, man with hat." "Oh, pregnant woman." "What'd she just say?" "She liked my hat." "I reckon she wasn't even pregnant." "No." "I cannot believe that by tomorrow night we're gonna be in a cute, little Parisian cafe and you'll be offending French people in France." "I know." " Lilly." " Oliver?" "Oliver!" "Hey, I thought your band was playing in San Antonio." "We were, but our next show's in Seattle." "And I got a flight that stopped here." "I wasn't gonna let you leave without saying goodbye." " Ahem!" " You, too, Miley." "I'll leave you kids to say your goodbyes." "I'm gonna go buy some of that dried fruit for the flight." "I love to toot one out and then watch the rich folks all blame it on each other." "That's been you?" "Honey, you should know my toots by now." " Hey, Miley." " Jesse!" "Jesse, I thought you were in Seattle." "I was." "Our next show is in San Antonio, so I got a flight that stopped here." "I can't let you leave without saying goodbye." "Real original." "Dude, why the hostility?" "Well, it's just that I made a huge romantic gesture, and your doing the same thing kinda makes it a little less special." "Oliver, it's not a competition." "Oh, I know." "Other than I had to be up at 4:30 in the morning just to make this happen." "And now you just sound desperate." "Hey, Miley." "I made something for you." "What is it?" "It is a playlist of songs that remind me of you." "Oh..." " It's cute." " Uh, hey, Lilly." " Yeah?" " I got you something." "Used lip balm." "Uh, it has my kisses all over it." " Oh!" " What's up, dude?" "Really?" "OK, guys." "We only have a little while with our boyfriends, so let's not waste the time with you guys fighting over your girlfriends, like a really cute gladiator and..." " ..." "Oliver." " Hey!" "I'll have you know plenty of girls on tour find me..." "What?" "They find you what?" "Incredibly..." "faithful to you." "That's my guy." "OK, so we're gonna leave you two to do your kissy-mushy thing over here and we'll go do ours by the inflatable neck-pillow cart." "Bye." "Man!" "I can't believe you're going to Paris." "I know." "It's all happening so fast." "I've been cramming to learn French all week, but, you know, I do think I have the most important phrase down." ""Back off, I have a big, strong boyfriend back in America?"" "Uh, close." "It's, um..." "I love you too, Lilly." "Oh, well, I gotta get to my flight." "Tell Miley I said good luck on the movie, OK?" " OK." " Call me as soon as you land." "Uh-huh." "Oh, Lil, look." "Those girls are going to Stanford." "That'll be you and Miley next year." "Yeah." "Unless she books another blockbuster movie or something." "Yeah." " I miss you already." " Bye." "Flight 14 to Paris will now begin boarding." "♪ Hey ♪" "♪ Oh, oh ♪" "♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪" "♪ Ooh, ah, ooh, ah ♪" "♪ Ooh, ah, ooh ♪" "Well, I guess I better catch my flight." "Call me when you get to Paris, OK?" "You know I will." "Excuse me." "Take your time." "Call me when you get to Paris, OK?" "You're the one going to Paris." "I knew that." "I'll see you in a few months." "Yo, Lilly." "Let's boogie." "You're not going to Paris, are you?" "I can't." "Miley, Paris and Spielberg and Cruise..." "It's all incredible, and it's like a dream come true." "Then what's the problem?" "Well, the problem is it's your dream." "My dream is college." "It's always been college." "But we talked about this, remember?" "Just wait this year and then we'll go to college together." "No." "You don't know that." " Yeah, I do." " No, you don't." "What happens if another great movie offer comes up, 'cause you know there'll be one." "I mean, what are you gonna do then?" "Exactly." "See, you don't know." "And that's fine because it's your life." "But it's not yours." "I'm sorry." "For what?" "Being the best friend I ever had?" " I'm gonna miss you so much." " I know." "♪ Oh, yeah ♪" "♪ Here we are now Everything's about to change ♪" "♪ We face tomorrow ♪" "♪ As we say goodbye to yesterday ♪" "♪ A chapter ending ♪" "♪ But the story's only just begun ♪" "♪ Pages turning for everyone ♪" "♪ So I'm moving on Letting go ♪" "♪ Holding on to tomorrow ♪" "♪ I've always got the memories ♪" "♪ While I'm finding out who I'm gonna be ♪" "♪ We might be apart But I hope you'll always know ♪" "♪ You'll be with me Wherever I go ♪" "♪ It's time to show the world ♪" "♪ We've got something to say ♪" "♪ A song to sing out loud ♪" "♪ Will never fade away ♪" "♪ I know I'll miss you ♪" "♪ But we'll meet again some day ♪" "♪ We'll never fade away ♪" "♪ So I'm moving on Letting go ♪" "♪ Holding on to tomorrow ♪" "♪ I've always got the memories ♪" "♪ While I'm finding out who I'm gonna be ♪" "♪ We might be apart ♪" "♪ But I hope you'll always know ♪" "♪ You'll be with me ♪" " ♪ Forever I know ♪ - ♪ So I'm moving on ♪" "♪ Letting go Holding on to tomorrow ♪" "♪ I've always got the memories ♪" "♪ While I'm finding out who I'm gonna be ♪" "♪ We might be apart ♪" "♪ But I hope you'll always know ♪" "♪ You'll be with me ♪" "♪ Yeah, yeah ♪" "♪ Wherever I go ♪" "♪ Wherever I Wherever I go ♪" "Hey." "I'm Miley." "I'm your new roommate." " Really?" " Yeah." "You were right." "You know, there's gonna be a million concerts and tours and movies, but I only get one chance to go to college with my best friend." " ♪ You'll be with me ♪" " I love you so much" " I know!" " ♪ Wherever I go ♪" "♪ Wherever I Wherever I go ♪" "♪ But yesterday's gone We gotta keep moving on ♪" "♪ I'm so thankful for the moments ♪" "♪ So glad I got to know ya ♪" "♪ The times that we had ♪" "♪ I'll keep like a photograph ♪" "♪ And hold you in my heart forever ♪" "♪ I'll always remember you ♪" "♪ La la la la la la la la ♪" "♪ La la la la la ♪"