"Like any other business the second-hand business has rules Martin, strict rules." "And if you're to succeed as my assistant, you must stick to the rules." "And what are those rules Mr Daney?" "Later." "Now, look around, what do you see?" "Second-hand stuff?" "Wrong!" "I see.... nothing." "Now, look at this, what do you see?" "A side table?" "We must look beyond the table and see it's worth." "How it will enhance the lives of our, Tom, Dick, and Harriet." "It's value to them." "Spot on Martin." "While we're out there searching the auctions the white elephant stalls, ...the Garage Sales." "We must keep our eyes and nose open for two things." "One, something that smells of saleability." "That we can see a buyer for right away." "Like that side table." "And what's the other thing Mr Daney?" "The bain of our business Martin, the gifted amateur." "Where to now Muffy?" "Turn right into Tui Road, then it's hard left into Darlington." "Right." "And then you veer left into Warren Street and it's Number One." " What's that?" " What's what?" "I've drawn a red cross on the map up ahead here." "A red cross?" "Oh, speed camera." "(car brakes heavily)" "Did it flash?" "No, we're clear." "(laughing)" "Good Morning." "Is this a Garage Sale?" "I'm sorry, you're too early and we're not ready." "I haven't put the sign out yet." "Well the early bird catches the bargain." " Should I give you a hand with that?" " Oh." "That's lovely." " Is that the price?" " Yeah." " Oh no, you'd get a lot more for that." " Really?" " Yeah, I'd whack ten dollars on that." " Oh." "Jill, look at this." " That's fantastic." "How much for that?" " 12." "I'll give you ten cash now." "I was going to buy that." "But you said it was fantastic and now you're trying to..." "Sorry, oh sorry, should I be dealing with you?" "Sorry I just assumed..." "Normally it's the woman that looks after, you know, runs the Garage Sale." "No, no, you can deal with me, ah, 11 dollars." "Okay, and ah," "I'll give you five for that." "Deal." "Deal." "Found it yet?" "No..." "Oh, oh yes here it is," "Commonwealth Exhibition, 1923." "Oh, oh Jill." "What?" "What Muffy?" "One sold at auction for 600 dollars!" "Now that's a bargain!" "Now that's a bargain!" "Hi Jill, hi Muffy." " Hi Steve." " Hi." "This one's been picked dry, it was like this when I arrived." "Man, some kid snatched a Jim Lynch print right out from under my nose." " Little Bugger!" " Uh, ha." "Did you have any luck finding that Tretchikoff you wanted?" "The Balinese lady?" "No not today... but I know she's out there..." "I've just gotta keep looking." "That's the spirit." "Oh by the way Jill I found this at another Garage Sale," "I thought you might like it." "John!" "Isn't he gorgeous?" "Thank you so much, Steve." "How much do I owe you?" "Oh, no, no nothing, it's 20 cents." " 20 cents." " Yeah, you will keep an eye out for that print will you..." "I must have it." "Oh yeah, sure yeah." "That boy really needs that Balinese lady." "I'll tell you what that boy really needs." " A real girlfriend." " A real girlfriend." "Come on, let's go." "That's 65 Sheffield St back there, but there's no signs, no people..." " ...no cars, no nothing." " They must have packed up, where to next?" "Marine Parade." "Oh, dealers." "Well there'll be nothing left here." " Yeah." "Come on, lets go and get a cup of coffee." "Parasites!" "Oh Cheryl." "Wait till you see what I've got for you." "They're place markers." "We can use them at the reception when you get married." "I've got a whole boxful here." "(Car horn beeps)" "Oh, that's Jane, gotta go, see ya." "Bye!" " Hi Muffy." " Oh, hi Hun." "Do you think we should help?" "Ha, ha no." "The're beyond help." "Come on, let's go." "Whoops, Brian?" "Can you give us a hand with this please?" "Oh thanks darling." "Right, where shall I put this?" " Ah, I think out on the deck might be perfect." " Right." "Wait till you see what else Muffy and I got this morning." "Look at that Brian." "Isn't it beautiful?" "That's cut crystal." "As soon as I saw it I knew I had to have it." "I saw it first." "Guess how much it cost." "Um... five dollars?" "Three!" "(out of shot) Can you believe that?" "Only three." "Would you ladies like a cup of tea?" "Only if you're putting one on." "I'm putting one on." "And I got this for you." "Oh you beauty." "Me or the magazine?" "Both." "Right, thanks for the lift, see you at school." "Right, thanks for the lift, see you at school." "G'day Miss Rose, what are you doing here?" "I'm here to pick up my car." "What, no, no, this wont be ready till, ah, till..." "You said it was going to be ready today." "I know, I know I did but um, we found another problem." "What, what's wrong with it?" "Well I think you better come have a look actually, it's um..." "Oh no." "Yeah, that rattle you heard in the engine, that wasn't just a loose lead." "No, it was a lot more serious than that, I'm afraid." "(laughter)" "Will you marry me, Miss Rose?" "Stew Davis, how could you?" "Yes, yes, of course, of course!" " Woohoo." " Congratulations." " Go on." " Oh yeah, of course." "Oh, this teapot is perfect." "Thank you darling." "Oh, apart from this little chip in the lid." "Hold it right there." "I knew as soon as I saw it, I knew that this lid would fit that pot." "So we can just throw this one away?" "No, you never know do you?" "Oh, that's lovely." "That's for Cheryl." "Of course." "Muffy, I didn't show you, I was up in the market in Otaki last week, and I saw this." "Oh, that is beautiful." "It was in a box with a whole pile of other stuff." "I got the box for 15 dollars." "15?" "15 down from 20." "Is it real silver?" "Yeah, see the hallmark." "Sterling," "Cheryl is so lucky, that is fantastic." "I think it's actually one of a pair, but it will still look alright on it's own on the bridal table." "So any idea when Stew might pop the question?" "Well the've been living together for almost a year." "Hmmmm, it's about time." "It's just that the minute I wear it to school, everyone's going to get in a flap." "You just don't want to shout everyone morning tea, that's it isn't it?" "Do you know how much sausage rolls and lamingtons cost these days?" "Do you like it Miss Rose?" "Yes Stew," "I like it very much." "So you going to ring your parents?" "Tell them the good news?" "Yeah, yeah, I will, I will." "Oh, it's just that..." "What?" " Mum." " What?" "Well, she'll be all over this." "She'll start organising the wedding straight away, she'll be at the Garage Sales day in day out." "I think you're letting your imagination run away with you." "I don't want her turning our wedding into some cut- price sale." "Hey." "Don't be silly, okay?" "I'll tell you what, I'll get cleaned up." "And you and I, we'll go round and tell them together ay?" "Oh I had another run in with Gracie Clearfield today." "She's still really bitter about the fact that I got the deputy principal job over her." "(out of shot) Hello." "Ah..." "The prodigal daughter and boyfriend return." " G'day Jill." " Hungry?" "Ah, no, no we've eaten thanks, um, we've got something we need to tell you." "Stew, can I tell Mum on her own?" "You're not pregnant are you?" " No." " Nah, no." "Oh, that's a shame." "Cause I got a lovely little bassinet last Saturday." "Mum, what do you want with a bassinet?" "Is there something you're not telling me love?" "Oh well, you can laugh if you like." "But it was a bargain, and it almost came in useful right here." "But I'm not pregnant." "No, but you almost were." "Right, well I think the ladies needs to talk, Stew." "Yeah." "Right, what's all this about then?" "Well Mum, um..." "Stew and I have decided to get..." "Look at her, the car that put the world on wheels." "Always wanted one of these Stew, now here I am, living the dream." "It's a beauty Brian, a real beauty." "You've ah..." "You've asked her to marry you haven't ya?" "Bet she said yes." "Well you'd win that bet Brian." "I'll tell you this much Stew, when I walk my daughter down that aisle, we're gonna be making history." "History?" "Yeah, well..." "It'll be the first time in living memory this family has ever given anything away." "(laughter)" "Brian, did Stew tell you?" "Yeah, I think it's great." "Well, I think it's an absolutely stupid idea and I've been trying talk her out of it." " What?" " What?" "She's allergic." "Allergic?" "I told Mum about the cat Stew..." "You know the cat we're getting." "Oh yeah, um yeah Jill look I tried to talk her out of it, but, but ah, you know what shes like." "Well I've got a photograph of her at 12 at the cat show, she's completey covered in hives, it's upstairs." "I'm going to go get it, see if it will jog your memory." "So, what's going on?" "I just couldn't tell her okay?" "Please don't tell her either of you." "I've never kept anything from your mother, I don't think..." "Here you go, look at this." "That's what cat's do to you." "Yeah you're right, it was a stupid idea." "No darling, it wasn't stupid, you just didn't think it through." "Yeah you're right, I didn't." "I couldn't, I just couldn't tell her." "Don't worry about it, just tell her when the time's right okay?" "That's just it, when will the time be right?" "She's always made my life a living hell even at school, I didn't have black shoes for my uniform, so she painted my brown shoes black... with watercolours... rain... (children chanting and laughing)" "Oh." "I love her Stew I do, I just don't want her turning our special day into some bloody second-hand wedding." "(John Rowles' song 'If I Only Had Time' plays)" "Thanks Brian." "What was all that business about tonight, Cheryl and the cat?" "Oh, she can be a ning-nong sometimes, can't she?" "You know where she gets that from, don't you?" "My side." "Night love." "Love you." "I feel really bad about Stew, he doesn't understand why I can't wear the ring." "Why aren't you wearing the ring?" "Alex Johnson, you put that down, and stop teasing Bella, okay you sit on the bench for the rest of playtime, now." "I'm not wearing it because the teachers at Beach school know the teachers at Coast school." "And Jill works at Coast school." "It'll be all over this place like a case of nits." "Miss Rose." "Yes Tai?" "Sean called me the 'i' word." "The 'i' word?" "Yeah." "Well, you tell Sean that if he calls you the 'i' word again, he'll have a timeout for the rest of playtime okay?" "Okay." "The 'i' word?" "I think it's idiot, it used to be the 'e' word but I think they're better spellers now." "Why don't you just tell your Mum, just tell her straight out you want to organise it." "Oh, alright." "I guess I could give her a couple of things to look after." "Like the bridesmaids dresses." "You wouldn't." "Ha, ha, course I wouldn't." "Hello Jody." "Hi Mrs. Rose." "What can I do for you?" "My Mum says I have to give you this." "It says that we can't afford for me to go on camp next month." "So it does..." "I'll tell you what Jody," "I need a special assistant to come on camp this year... and this special assistant wouldn't have to pay to come on camp cause I'd need them to help me organise games, and a lolly scramble at the end..." "Do you know anyone that could do that job?" "I could, I'd work hard." "You sure?" "Well you take that note home to your Mother and tell her to give me a ring." "Thank you." "I s'pose those camp fees are going to come out of school funds." "Actually the're not Gracie, I'm going to pay for Jody to go to camp myself, just like I paid for Martin Hamilton last year and David Walsh the year before that." "Hello..." "Is anyone there?" "Oh...um...ah..." "Ah..." "Hello..." "Hi...um my name is Martin Fisk... and I work for the Bargain Basement." "We specialise in the sale of second-hand goods, so we..." "Cut to the chase son, what are you selling?" "Well actually I'm not selling anything, I'm actually looking to buy." "We like to check on the local area to see if anyone has anything they'd like to sell." "Anything we'd like to sell?" "So...do you... have anything you'd like to sell?" "Nope." "Nothing...really?" "Really." "Um..." "Well if anything occurs to you, here's my card." "Give me a call." "There you go." "Thanks, Brian." "Nice car." "Model T, brass radiator." "Oh, I see..." "Brian." "Martin." "Um, look if I was to ya know stick my nose in again to see if you had anything." "Sure." "Don't fancy your chances though." "Right." "Oh, that's a bit cold now, how's yours?" "Oh no, I'll just be a minute." "Gracie and I had another run in today." "Oh yeah?" "She's a strange one, we used to get along so well once upon a time, and it all changed once her Harry died." "Oh." "Sad really." "Might have to be a bit careful, could've made it too hot now." "I don't know what I'd do if I lost you Brian." "Make your own cups of tea for a start." "Making cups of tea are the least of it." "You're my best friend." "You know all of my secrets, and I know all of yours." "Let's go." "How much for that candlestick?" "Ah, sorry love, I've just sold it to this lady here." "Looks like I beat the Queen of Sales to the deal." "Gracie, I've got a candlestick just like this at home." "You have?" "Yeah, it's for my daughters wedding and I've been looking everywhere for its match." "Oh, I didn't know Cheryl was getting married." "Oh well she's not getting married, but when she does I would really love the pair." "Would you sell me that?" "So now I have something you want" "Don't be spiteful Gracie" "I really like this candlestick Jill.." "It's like one of a pair my mother used to have, it's not for sale.." "..maybe you'd like to sell me yours?" "Over my dead body." "Now who's being spiteful." "Hi!" "...." "Are you just packing up?" "No, just putting up a new sign, some bugger stole my last one." "Oh...who steals a Garage Sale sign?" "Oh bloody kids I reckon.." "..must have pinched it the minute I put it up." "Haven't had a customer all morning." "Not one customer?" "Haven't sold a bloody thing." "We'll see about that." "Muffy?" "Yeah." "I've got two of them." "(whispers) Muffy, Muffy.... vintage." "How much for that?" "Ten dollars?" "Eight!" "Deal." "Oh yeah that's interesting." "Do you have any Tretchikoffs?" "I might,..what exactly is a Tretchikoff?" "Um, only the most reproduced artist in the world." "Kevin?" "How much for this?" "Five dollars." "Ten." "You don't know much about haggling do you Jill?" "Ten and I'm still ripping you off." "Have it your way, rip me off." "(out of shot) Moorcroft, isn't it?" "Possibly." "Ho ho, definitely I'd say." "We'll, you do have an eye for a bargain." " Let me introduce myself." " Yes, Desmond Daney," "I know who you are we've met before." "Yes, I've seen your face around at the sales." "Jill isn't it?" " Jill Rose." " Yes." "Look take my card, I'm always on the lookout for agents." "You know people who can scout around, pick up stuff for me." "You want me to work for you?" "It'd hardly be work, you know commission based, finders fee." "Well, I think I'll go, someone's picked the eyes out of this place." "I know." "Well good day to you Jill." "Bye, bye." "What was that about?" "He wants me to work for him." "No, you told him no didn't you?" "Not really, I didn't say anything actually." "Do you think that's his real hair?" "(laughter)" "Okay Kevin." "Will that be all?" "No, I'll take that bowl, and that toaster." "Kevin, what's in that box?" "Oh, nothing you ladies would want." "Don't be too sure about that." "Oh sweet, I'll take one." " Me too." " Ten dollars." " They're not really for sale." " 20 bucks." "Well you've been such good customers call it 30, 55 for two." "Sold." "You gave her the ring, she said yes." "What's the problem?" "You gave her the ring, she said yes." "What's the problem?" "The problem, yoghurt for brains, is that she's not wearing the ring." "It's just a ring, why does he need the world to know." "Yeah, but the woman he loves is too scared to wear the ring because she's afraid of her Mum finding out." "He likes the parents, the parents like him, like I said before, what's the problem?" "Oh, you're just not looking at the big picture are ya?" "(screech of brakes and car crashing)" "(conversation heard through window) Oh look, I'm really sorry about that, are you okay?" " Do I look okay?" " You sure?" "It's your Mrs." " Oh Jeez, what now?" "(out of shot)" " Babe..." "Waz." "(laughter)" "This arrived today." " School Reunion." "School Reunion." "In the city...they'll all be there." "I just don't think I can face them without..." "Without what?" "Oh, Honey Monster, I need a new dress." "Ha, ha." "Is that all?" "Course, just dip into the savings account, anything you like." "I knew you'd understand." "Oh, and you'll need a new suit and a haircut." "Oh, maybe you could pretend like you own something important." "I own a garage." "That's it." "Ya big in Real Estate." "Hi Boys." "I know it's unfair Stew." "It's unfair on everyone." "I just need to prepare myself." "Well I could tell her." "Thanks, I need to face this one on my own." "(car horn tooting) Well...here she is now." "I was thinking about what you said the other day about getting a cat." "And I realised what was going on." "What?" "Well I was railroading you." "You're a grown woman, you can do whatever you like." "So far as I know you're not allergic to puppies." "Oh, Mum you shouldn't have." "What, what breed is it?" "His name's Dog." "Now I've got you a bed and a blanket, and some puppy food." "Books, and a wee bowl." "Ball, chew toy." "Mum I need to...." "No need to thank me." "I've gotta love you and leave you." "Muffy got a puppy too, only hers is a wee bit hyperactive, made a big mess of her place, I'm going over there to help clean up." "Oh you're going to have to house train that one yourselves, but don't worry it's all in the books, okay?" "I tried." "Oh, you better tell her, before someone else does." "I'll tell her on Saturday when we go round for tea." "Oh, look at the three of you, you just look like a proper wee family, love you bye." "Love you." "Problem was I could never remember what to eat with what." "So now I am on the Geri Halliwell zero stress diet." "I can honestly say I'm in a place right now where I have zero stress in my life." "It's actually heightened my awareness of other people's stress." "For instance, there's this guy who works for my husband," "Stew Davis, and I can tell his stress levels are off the chart, his girlfriend Cheryl is too scared to tell her mother they're engaged." "Cheryl Rose?" "Cheryl Rose, that's it, she's a teacher too, do ya know her?" "No, don't know her." "Well if you ever have stress," "I recommend this diet, it's great." "So, I just wanted the two of you to be the first to know, that..." "Stew's asked me to marry him." "That's how you're going to say it?" "Well pretty much, I'd like her to think I'm telling both of you for the first time." "Yeah, it's just the sooner we tell her the better, this things really been praying on my mind." "Sorry, Dad." "I just don't understand why, why couldn't you just tell her?" "Remember my 21st, remember how Mum took over?" "She invited all her friends and made it some two for the price of one." "Bit embarrasing." "A bit embarrasing?" "Now I seem to remember that there were games." "Don't." "Don't you dare." "Twister." "You promised!" "Nooo!" "Now didn't your mother try and put her hand on the yellow square and end up falling on top of your boyfriend," "Ha ha ha." "Don't." "(knock on door)" "Gracie." "Have a seat." "What's this about Jill?" "The board got your letter." "Oh." "And I've asked the board if I could talk to you about it and they've agreed." "The board's going to ignore your letter Gracie." "What?" " They can't!" "They can." "I think it's time that you and I had this out," "I want to know why you dislike me so much." "Is it because I got this job over you?" "Of course not." "Well it seems like that to me." "I've really tried and you did nothing," " they just handed it to you on a silver platter." " Gracie." "I've been at this school longer than you have." "Only a year." "You think you know it all." "Job, husband, friends, family." "There are things about your family you don't know Jill Rose." "Things you don't know about your own daughter." "What about my daughter?" "She's engaged, and she didn't want to tell you because you embarrass her." "Embarrass her?" "..." "How?" "With all those ghastly bargains you try and foist on her." "Not everyone wants to be a second-hand rose." "I think you've said quite enough." " Well I..." " You've done what you set out to do." "I'd like you to go now." "(whispers) She didn't want a cat." "I wanted to be the one to tell you." "Um, well I'm happy for you." "I'm happy for you and for Stew." "And I don't want you to worry, I'm going to keep my nose out of it," "You can have exactly the wedding that you want." "Mum, are you okay?" "Oh yeah I'm fine, I'm fine" "I'm just a wee bit emotional." "I've gotta go take the puppy to the vet for his shots so, um." "I'll come back later." "I love you Mum." "See you Dad." "See you love." "You knew..." "I feel like such a fool." "Where did you get that?" "Stew proposed to me at the shop." "Congratulations!" "(background conversation) and I said we should..." "Jill look at this." "It's nice." "You should get it." "You think so?" "Yeah, you haven't bought anything all day." "How much for this vase?" "If you think I'm going to let this go for anything less than 30 you must be kidding." "Ok, 30 then." "Jill, this is the part where you haggle with me, remember?" "I'm sorry, I'm just not into it today." "Oh?" "30 dollars." "Is she alright?" "I don't think so." "(out of shot) Jill, Jill..." "I was watching X-Files last night, man that show's really lost it." "What happened?" "Well, there's this little lndian fella right." "And he crawls up into this big fat guys butt, so he can control him, make him walk around and that." "So why did he get into the fat guys backside?" "I don't know." "And why was he running around doing this anyway?" "He just wanted to be loved." "He wanted to be loved, so he crawled inside some fat guys service hatch?" "That's stupid." "It's not uncommon." "And I said the show's gone downhill, ya know, right down." "(laughter)" "(wolf whistle)" "G'day Miss Rose." "(out of shot) Hello Mr Davis." "(out of shot)" " Hey Cheryl." " Hi Guys." "And to what do we owe the honor of this little visit?" "Oh I thought I'd just come round and say Hi to my new fiance." "Oh your new fiance?" "Have you told your old fiance about me yet?" "Yeah he was sweet with it, he said the best guy had won on the day." "Oh that was nice of him, wasn't it?" "(out of shot squealing)" "Oh lets have a look, lets have a look." "Oh, very nice." "Very nice." "Personally I prefer something a little more  bolder." "But this is very classical." "Did he choose it himself?" "He did indeed." "And he dressed all by himself this morning." "He has got very good taste." "You could learn a thing or two from this man Honey Monster." "Yeah, Honey Monster." "Now, have you got a venue yet?" "Actually we haven't even..." "Well you must try the Winterbrook, it's absolutely devine." "Well to be honest, it's a little out of our price range." "Oh, don't be daft, my friend Daniela, she works there," " she gave us mates rates." " Really?" "Now you're going to have to book a date because they fill up real quick." "Why don't you and I go and have a look at it now?" "Yeah." "Honey Monster... can Stewy come with Cheryl and me to look at the venue?" "Yeah, yeah no worries." "Alright you two, off we go." "Have fun Stewy." "He's screwed aye?" "(clapping and cheering)" "(out of shot) Wow!" "This is perfect Stew." "(out of shot) right well when?" "Um, when do you have available?" "Well we do have some space in two years time." "It'll have to be a winter wedding though." "Oh, two years?" "Come on Daniela, you can do better than that." "Okay," "Oh, we have had a cancellation actually, apparently she was a he!" "Well I was saving it but..." " Daniela" "But since you're such good friends and..." " When?" "In two months time." "Oh no that's a bit soon." "Yeah we'll take it." "I'll write you in." "We'll need to get together next week and sign some forms, but the place is yours." "(laughter)" "Hello." "(out of shot) I was just wondering if Jill was in?" "Oh, I'm sorry she's gone out." "Do you know where?" "Well, if you'd asked me that question a week ago," "I could have told you where she'd gone, what she's doing and when she'd be back, but ah..." "Jill's a bit low at the moment." " She's not herself, is she?" " No." "I'm sorry, I'm Brian." "Gracie Clearfield." "Oh." "It just slipped out, I didn't mean it, I feel so terrible." "Well, not as terrible as Jill feels." "I'm sorry, that was a mean thing to say." "Look could you just give her these and tell her I called round and..." "I'll see her at school tomorrow." "Right you are, take care." "Oh don't bother with that lot sport, I've been through it." "Nothing there anyone would want to buy." "It's a load of junk." "I don't blame her." "Here's your cup of tea." "That's your answer to everything isn't it Brian," "A nice cup of tea, calm the troubled waters." "It's just a cup of tea." "You hurt me Brian, you and Cheryl, the two people I love most in the world." "And you let me down." " Cheryl begged me to." " What?" "take sides against me." "If I told you, I would have hurt her." "If I said nothing, I would have hurt you." "Whatever I said I would have hurt someone, what was I supposed to do?" "Hello Cheryl." "Hey Mum." "Look I just wanted you to be the first to know that we've set a date." "It's in two months time." "I know that's really soon but Warren's wife got us into the Winterbrook." "The Winterbrook.." "Er.." "Isn't that a bit pricey?" "We're not expecting you to pay we want to do it ourselves" "We were gonna have to wait till the end of next year but..." "Now we're in." "The ring." "Mum I really want you to be a part of it" "And what do you want me to do?" "Park the cars?" "Wait on the tables?" "Mum, don't." "No you made yourself pretty clear Cheryl, I embarrass you." "I'll come to your wedding, but I'm damned if I'll be part of it." "Oh Jill." "Is that really how you feel?" "Yes it is!" "Right!" "Well I'll organise it myself then and YOU.." "..you can sit down the back in your Garage Sale dress and your second-hand shoes." "Goodbye!" "Cheryl?" "Whaa!" "Well, help me up!" "Come on,.. come on" "Alright?" "It's not funny!" "Cheryl." "Mum?" "Mum?" "No... (eerie voice) You say your daughter only wore it the once?" "Only got married the once." "I'll give you 80 dollars for it." "120." "90 and I won't pay a dollar more." "90 it is then." "Deal!" "Mum, I'm not too sure about this." "Trust me on this Cheryl it's only going to need a couple of alterations." "(Cheryl whimpers)" "Mum?" "MUM!" "?" "Mmmmmuum?" "MUUMMMM!" "(creepy voice) Cheeeeryl this is your place Muffy and these are your flowers... (ghostly laughter)" "(Gnome) The wedding of your dreams eh Cheryl?" "Get away!" "...get away!" "..." "Hey..." "Cheryl," " C'mon...wake up!" " (Cheryl screams)" "It's alright," "It's okay," "It's just a dream." "It was horrible." "What happened?" "Mum." "I don't understand why your Mum can't be part of this wedding." "Because she'll ruin it." "How?" "I don't even think she's ever bought anything new, ya know?" "Even my name's second-hand" "(sings) Cheryl Moana Marie." "Hey...hey." "She means well... yeah?" "Yeah..." "I know." "I just.." "...just wanted to own something that didn't belong to someone else first, ya know?" "A new dress or a new doll." "Anything." "C'mon, come here." "Why don't you get some sleep okay?" "Big day tomorrow." "Whaddya reckon?" "All you need now is a tin cup and an organ grinder!" "I don't know..." "Couldn't we try something a bit more... ya know...sexy." "Sexy!" "?" "Jane!" "...you're a bridesmaid." "Anyway,... bridesmaids are pretty much guaranteed to get lucky at the reception, ...it's like a law or something." "You don't even have to look sexy." "Doesn't hurt to advertise." "Ah...what's all this?" "Photographers!" "I went around, and got their albums so you can have a look at their work." "No we already have a photographer, we're using my Uncle Cyril" "Your Uncle Cyril?" "He's an amateur photographer, I'll show you." "Cheryl!" "This is your special day, ya need somebody professional covering it." "Look." "Now I want to show you something let's see... there." "Now, have a look at these two photographs," "Can you see the difference between these two photographs?" "Yes." "YES!" "The difference is that one of these is a professional." "Now with all due respect to your Uncle," "I'm sure we all know what the better photograph is." "Definitely." "See, this is Klaus Van Hough." "I can highly recommend him, he did my wedding as you can see." "He's European you know." "Mmmmm." "Oh, look at you... aren't you just the most gorgeous thing, aren't you gorgeous, oooh" "What's this?" "Oh, Daniela asked me to drop it off for you." "Oh, what's this figure here?" "That's the rental fee for the Winterbrook." "But we already paid the rental fee." "Na silly, you paid the deposit." "That's the fee." "What?" "Oh good little doggy." "The form you signed clearly says deposit," "D.E.P.O.S. I.T....deposit!" "Yeah, but you didn't say that there was just the deposit... see, we thought we were paying the entire fee here." "Well, maybe in the future you should read legal documents before you sign them." "Well, we're not gonna pay it, and we want our money back." "Okay, once more for the hard of hearing." "That, is a legal document." "Not only will you not get your deposit back... but you must pay the entire fee within a weeks time." "Please,..." "Daniela." "We saved for an entire year for the money we already gave you." "That's Y.P. not M.P." "What?" "Your problem, not my problem." "Yeah, well... thanks for your time." "What are we gonna do Stew?" "I don't know." "I don't know Miss Rose." "C'mon." "(crash)" "Sorry Jill." "(knock on door)" "What are you doing here?" "I was wondering when you were going to respond about my offer?" "I work here." "No, Jill, you're wasted here." "With your eye for a bargain, my contacts we have the perfect combination, for a perfect relationship." "I'm married." "So am I." "Get out of my office now, or I'll pick up that phone and I'll call your wife, and I'll tell her you just made a pass at me." "She wouldn't believe you." "Get out." "Fine, fine." "But the offer is off the table." "You stupid teacher." " Help!" "Help!" "Don, I'm being attacked!" " Wh, what are you doing?" "Get your hands off her!" "Ahhh..." "You okay?" "Hey Stew?" "Yeah." "This, Winterbrook thing..." "I can't but feel it's partially my fault." "I never told Sugar Puff how much it cost." "I had no idea." "I wanted to get married at the surf club, but Sugar Puff, well, not worth the grief." " Anyway, brides big day and all that eh?" "Yea..." "Yeah." "Hello, Brian?" "Hi, I just thought you might um..." "I thought you might like." "What happened to your car?" "Same thing that happened to me Martin." "I need you to call an ambulance." "Oh, um." "Mum, have you seen Mum?" "she's just down there." "Mum!" "What is it?" "What's happened?" "Dad's had a heart attack." "God..." "Oh God!" " Is he okay?" "We don't know." "He had a second attack in the ambulance on his way here, so he's not in good condition." "He'd be worse if he hadn't given himself that oxygen." "He gave himself oxygen?" "From his welding bottle apparently." "Never heard anything like it." "Can we see him?" "Not right now, we had to put a shunt in his leg and he's sedated..." "So just give him a few hours, he's doing fine." "(car horn toots)" "G'day mate, thought we might come give you a hand." "Thanks guys, I could really use some help." "I brought some pies too." "So who's looking after the garage?" "Eeny meeny miney mo, catch a tiger by the toe, if he squeals let him go, eeny meeny miney mo." "Brian told me he had a dream about being dead." " Yeah?" " Yeah, he said he ah... woke up in this huge field of long grass and flowers and all around him as far as the eye could see... are these run down sheds." "So he goes to the closest one opens the door... and there's this Ford V8 Roadster in it." "And the next shed and the next, they're all full of Fords right." "It's then he knows he's in heaven!" "Ha ha, cause only good Fords go to Heaven." "Couple more tweaks, and we'll have her back just the way she was." "Why should we stop there?" "What are you saying?" "Well we're in the zone... and Brian he seems to have all the parts." "We could have a bit of a snack you know, then crack into it." "What finish the car?" "Yeah." "Mum." "Yeah?" "I'm sorry." "So am I." "I've made such a mess of this wedding thing, you've no idea." "Oh." "What's happened?" "I don't know what to do." "Tell me." "You know how we booked the Winterbrook." "We paid the $6000," " and now they say it's going to cost $24,000." "Oh." "Any chance of a cup of tea?" "(machine beeps)" "(machine beeps in time to movement)" "(the call button is pressed accidentally)" "Gracie I need a favour," "I want to trade you this if you do some alterations to my wedding outfit." "Jill you don't have to give me that, I'll do it for free." "I want to give you that." "And this." "Wh...what?" "It's an invitation, I'd love you to come to my daughters wedding." "Really?" "Yes." "(laughter)" "Come on put your backs into it." "Surprise." "You finished it?" "Well actually Brian, we didn't." "(clapping)" "He's asleep." "It must be good to have him home." "Oh yes....it is." " A little drink to celebrate?" " Thank you." "Chin, chin." "Cheers." "You're so lucky to have him." "Yes I know." "Could have been a whole different story, you know." "If you ended up with John." "(John Rowles' song 'If I Only Had Time' plays in the background)" "You've got to let me in." "Please!" "I've saved for months for tonight, it's not my fault the bus broke down." "Sorry, strict orders, no one can come in once the show starts." "This is his last show," "I've never seen him before." "If I let you in, I'll lose my job." "Sorry." "(John Rowles' song 'If I Only Had Time' continues to play in the background)" "(A rubbish bin falls over and a cry is heard)" "(crying continues)" "(clapping is heard from inside)" "So you sure you're okay?" "I'm fine." "Promise you wont tell anyone." "Cross my heart." "I'm Brian." "Jill." "As soon as I laid eyes on Brian, I knew that John and I weren't meant to be." "Right, now down to business." "Cheryl's wedding, lets do some rough calculations, if we do the catering ourselves and we eat off paper plates." "We can afford about... six people." "Oh, that's without a band or a DJ." "We can't have a wedding without music." "It's meant to be the best night of her life," "I don't think even we can bargain our way out of this one." "(out of shot) What do you think?" "Perfect." "Right." "You're not selling your John Rowles collection?" "Well no sacrifice is too great for my daughters happiness," "Yeah, okay you got me, it's just my double ups." "(knock on door amd beeper sounds)" "It's time." "You ready Muffy?" "Ready as I'll ever be." "Okay, we're on." "(Garage Sale chatter)" "Hello Jill." "Kevin, I bought that toaster from you." "I know," "I miss it." "I'll give it to you for 10 dollars." "Oh, call it 20 and keep the change." "Jill." "How much for this picnic table?" "30 dollars." "I wouldn't pay that." "Be quiet Peter, 20." "25." "Deal.." "Deal." "(mouthful of Chuppa Chup) Ohh.." "Scully!" "That's a rare one." "You gonna buy it?" "Course I am, it's a classic." "You know about Tretchikoff's?" "Yeah, I've quite an extensive collection." "Do you ah..." "Do you have the Chinese Lady?" "Are you kidding?" "It's almost impossible to get now." "But I've, got the Balinese Lady." "Really?" "I've been looking for her" "I don't believe it..." "A man who collects Tretchikoff." "Yep, I've even got the Pointsettiers, the flowers are some of his most beautiful... work." "Would you um...?" "Would you like to...?" " See..." " Would I...?" "M.m.my... collection?" "Yes please." " I'm Jane." " Steve...ahh Steve..." "Steve.." "Steve" "You right there?" "Fine." "Let's haggle!" "Okay." "70 dollars!" "Oh!" "The woman that sold me that, didn't know what she had." "Oh, is that right?" "15." "I'm sorry, but you're not welcome here." "You can't stop me coming to a Garage Sale." "No, but I can stop you from trespassing on private property." "Come on Martin." "You don't have to go Martin, you're more than welcome to stay, there's a lot of really good bargains." "Ahem, excuse me?" "Do you know someone's trying to steal your sign?" "What?" "Hey?" "Hey?" "Oi!" "Huh?" "..who steals a sign?" "Do you have any old records?" "Oh yeah sure, follow me." "Great, thanks" "How much for this one?" "Oh, I'm sorry that's hers, you'll have to wait." "Okay, okay, I'll give it to you for 30 dollars." "I'm sorry, I have to go." " Oh." "Let me know how I can pay you." " Thank you." " Name your price." "Alright, bye." "How did we do?" "It's more than enough." "I'm surprised more of my John Rowles records didn't go." "Oh, there was some bloke who wanted to buy one, but you were busy and I didn't know what to charge." "Oh, he left his card." "Oh don't worry about that now." "We've got a wedding to organise." "Well you don't give up easily do you." "We certainly don't." "And you are?" "The Mother of the Bride." "But I thought that." "You thought?" "Well it seemed they weren't going to take the booking, so I rented it to the Rotary Club for the weekend." "Well that was a bit silly wasn't it." "You're going to have to unrent it." "Says who?" "Says this document, this legally binding document, which you signed." "But I've already taken their money." "Well that would be Y.P. and not M.P." "Well, this cheque had better be good." "Oh, it is." "Here we go." "Do you, Cheryl Mary Rose, take Stewart Walter Davis to be your lawful wedded husband?" "I do." "And do you, Stewart Walter Davis, take Cheryl Mary Rose to be your lawful wedded wife?" "Yeah, I do" "Then, by the power vested in me," "I now pronounce you husband and wife." "You may kiss the bride." "(applause)" "Hello Mrs. Davis." "Hello Mr. Davis." "Wait..." "Whatever happens in here, know that I love you." "Well I love you too." "No, I mean about letting Mum organise the whole reception." "Oh, that." "I'm sure it'll be fine." "Maybe we should just trust her." "Maybe we should." "(applause)" "(tapping glass)" "(tapping glass)" "It now falls upon me to kick start the formal part of the evening couldn't get a word out of 'em, he was so shy his shadow sounded loquacious." ".. I'd like to thank the rest of my family, for making the trip to be with us today, thanks Rebecca, Daniel and Olivia." "And finally..." "I'd like to say thank you to Cheryl, for saying yes." "I love you Cheryl, ...thanks." "I'd like to thank Jane and Sugar Puff for... all your help, you guys have been wonderful." "It was certainly some hen night." "And to Muffy for organising all the catering, thank you so much." "And Charlie and Waz for making sure this boy got here on time." "Oh, and,...to Martin, for helping to save Dad." "Dad..." "Thank you so much for sticking around." "And for making such an effort to be here today, because I can't imagine it, ... without you." "And finally, to Stew," "I don't know what to say, but..." "I can't wait to spend my life with you..." "I love you, very much." "Um, have I forgotten anyone?" "Mum..." "I'm kidding." "Mum, I left you to last cause I didn't... know if I was gonna make it through this." "There's not very many people here that know, the sacrifices you've made to make today happen." "You are the best Mum, and this is the best wedding that any girl could ever want, gnomes and all." "I don't know how I ever doubted you." "Thanks folks we now like to play a special song, for a very special couple." "for a very special couple." "(John Rowles' Cheryl Moana Marie is sung)" "Cheryl Moana Marie..." "Back home she's waiting for me..." "Cheryl Moana Marie..." "There on the shore she waits, so patiently..." "In a sleepy little town..." "Where soft breezes blow..." "There's a lovely little Maori Miss I used to know..." "Someday I will find my way, and I'll return from over the sea..." "To where my island sweetheart, waits for me." "Cheryl Moana Marie..." "Back home she's waiting for me." "Cheryl Moana Marie..." "There on the shore she waits, so patiently..." "Cheryl Moana Marie..." "Someday our waiting will end..." "Safe in my arms she will be..." "My Cheryl..." "Moana..." "Marie." "(clapping)" "Ah." "Would you like a cup of tea?" "I'll get it." "You want one too?" "No, I'll get it." "You, have done enough today." "Can I look at the paper?" "Can I stop you?" "Well, there's plenty of room out here now love." "Ha, ha, ha." "Well, I've got news for you.." "there's three Garage Sales down the road tomorrow." "What time?" "I love your work, it's fantastic." " His work is clearly a searing indictment on our captialist consumer society." " Hmm." "He's saying everything's for sale." "Even ironically, the signs that sell." "Don't you think, he's so brave." "I'm thinking of buying this piece." "You should." "You definitely should." "He's only asking $20,000." "It's a bargain." "It's an absolute bargain." ".srt Subtitles, Dan4Jem, ADMMXI"