"I would like to ask you a few things that are bugging me." "I often panic when I think about what direction my life is taking." "Am I hanging out with the right people?" "Am I doing the right job?" "Do I look right?" "Am I earning enough?" "Am I getting the most out of my life?" "Am I happy?" "Should I live differently?" "And so on and so forth." "A never-ending stream of Euestions that overwhelm and worry me." "I can do nothing but constantly worry." "What if?" "What if I were to lose everything that I hold dear?" "How far can I fall?" "How do I start over?" "And how can I remind myself that this is my life?" "My only life?" "How?" "GREETINGS FROM FUKUSHIMA" "Moshe!" "Are you Moshe?" "I don't speak Japanese." "Hello, Marie." "Where are the others?" " The others?" "The other clowns." "Isn't there a group of us?" "No, it's just us two." "You good?" "I'm Nami." "Welcome to Fukushima." "Can I carry anything?" "The car's over there." "Oh God, radiation levels are high here." "The nuclear power plant is right there." "Shit!" "Are we driving into the zone?" "It's not called '. the zone" anymore." "It's livable again." "At least that's what the government says." "Does anybody want to?" "Almost nobody." "What's in all those bags?" "They dig up the radiated soil and pack it into the bags." "And where do they put all the bags?" "They stay there." "Forever." "Thank you for traveling so far to see us." "Due to the huge earthEuake in eastern Japan and the nuclear power plant accident, we face great problems." "We fled our homes and now live in this temporary shelter." "We want you all to feel very welcome here." "Thank you very much." "He's done..." "Bow." "Are there only old people here?" " Yes, the young ones all left." "I can't even do it myself." "Damn it!" "That's really good." "What?" "Bullshit!" "That sucked." "It really sucked!" "Abysmal!" "Embarrassing!" "I can't do this crap." "So why are you here?" "Because I'm a stupid idiot." "I thought I'd feel better in a place where people are having hard times." "I'm a stupid fucking spoiled, arrogant German bitch!" "You know it." "So that's why I'm here, OK?" "EarthEuake!" "Help!" "Yes, that's good." "Everything..." "I've ruined everything." "Can you drive?" "Can you..." "Drive car?" "You drive me?" "What?" "Where?" "I change." "You want to go into the zone?" "Not so bad." "Left?" "Now what's she doing?" "Sorry, what are you doing there?" "You know you can't stay here, right?" "No, no, stop it." "It. s too heavy." "Come with me." "Listen to me for one moment!" "You can't stay here!" "We can put the things in but you have to come back with me." "You come with me to the car." "You go in the car." "Anyway, you can." "I'm not leaving without you." "This is not possible." "Fuck." "When I got home, there was nothing left." "What would you do if this happened to you?" "If there were dead bodies everywhere?" "Clothes, books, photos, and furniture." "If everything was gone?" "If your entire world ceased to exist?" "If you lost everything?" "What would you do?" "Are you nuts?" "Why?" "Satomi steals the car, and then you drive her there?" "What do you mean '. stole"?" "The car's here." "But she's not." "What to do?" " She's alone!" "She insisted on staying." "I couldn't drag her into the car!" "Are you going to do your job now?" "I can't do this." "It was a dumb idea, I'm sorry." "I..." "I was a little lost." "I thought that if I..." "Thanks." "No, I can't go back with you." "No, no." "I want to help." "Can I help you?" "I don't need it." "Please." "This is yours." "Good food." "It tastes good." "You eat too much." "Comfortable." "No wind." "Look, what I found." "My grandparents, my parents - all rice farmers." "All of us have lived here." "For all our lives." "What?" "Can I sleep here?" "Uncomfortable." "Very, very uncomfortable." "Even for Japanese." "Yes." "Very uncomfortable." "What's this?" "Salt against the ghosts." "They still can't believe they're dead." "Good morning." "Morning." "Do you maybe have coffee?" "What did you say?" "Do you maybe have coffee?" "Excuse me?" "It's only my damn leg!" "Very rude." "Very rude." "This is comfortable." "Comfortable?" "Very dangerous here." "You understand?" "Very important for ladies." "You understand?" "Here." "Hide it!" "Very important." " Not in Germany." "This is very important for girls." "Yes." "Enjoy your tea." "Is this your husband?" "No, boyfriend." "So, this one is your husband?" "What?" "Boyfriend." "He's American." "Another boyfriend?" "Is this you?" "In a geisha costume?" "You were a geisha?" "I am a geisha." "The last one here." "The only one." "My last student." "My only student." "My beautiful Yuki was there on the tree." "The tree is still there." "And you?" "Where were you?" "Also on the tree." "I survived and Yuki died." "How do I live with that?" "Should I hang myself?" "No." "No, you shouldn't do that." "You have to live." "I have to?" "You are a big, stupid girl." "You know nothing." "My neighbors." "An older couple." "They both drowned." "They're OK." "Do you think we can take them?" "We take them." "It will make them happy." "Fresh." "You're so elegant." "You're an elephant." "Too big for my house." "Training." "It's only training." "Even an elephant can do training." "Don't do it like this," "and with both hands." "Yes, both hands." "You think too much, only the cup and you." "Nothing else." "Again." "Warm cup in your hand, smell," "lips on cup, feel... the cup, you, the cup." "One sip..." "Tea in your body." "See?" "Just this moment." "Nothing else." "There is no pain." "What?" "Where is pain?" "Just this, nothing else." "Much better." "I told you, don't make noise." "One, two..." "Mistakes are very important." "Again." "What does a geisha do exactly?" "Sing, dance, smile, entertainment business." "And lots of boyfriends." "Sometimes lots of boyfriends, even from America." "He ran away." "Why?" "Geishas are a little bit crazy," "I was very crazy." "I sang in bars, for fishermen." "I'm the last geisha now to know this song." "It will die with me." "I'm seeing ghosts." "I know." "You attract them, because you're unhappy." "You carry a ghost on your back, someone you lost." "It's all a dream." "Our life is a dream." "I want to wake up." "Then wake up!" "But how?" "Satomi, please come!" "I think Yuki is outside." "Leave her alone!" "Do you hear me?" "It's not your past, it's mine." "It's not your fucking business." "Yuki-chan." "Hot." "Here, it. s hot." "Oh, one moment please." "Kampai." "How do you say it again?" "I've only recently been able to smile again." "I had forgotten how." "I was completely numb." "I asked myself why, and then I realized..." "If you recite sutras in a place with lots of dead bodies... you can. t smile." "You tense up." "If you do that for seven months... you become numb." "I couldn't laugh at all." "It's only recently that I've started to cry again." "I haven't cried once since then either." "That's just how it is." "In a way she. s quite cute." "Would you keep something like her at home?" "This girl is looking after you." "You should be nice to her." "I am." "I couldn't be any nicer!" "Here, watch this." "Unbelievable, right?" "She's no woman!" "I don't know what to do." "And on top of that, she attracts ghosts." "That scares me." "Is that so?" " Terrible." "From the tree." "It's thirsty." "It drinks." " You drink?" "You really drink a lot." "Now it's drunk." "You do like it!" "We do it like this." "Do you know a girl who wants to be a geisha?" "From anywhere, but with some talent." "Now you can go anytime you like." "Or you." "Every stone reminds me of my life." "That's painful." "Memories are painful." "So, no memories would be better." "Mari-chan, there is no way out." "This is it." "This is your only life." "Missing is living with ghost." "Sorry, says the elephant." "The elephant is giving his best." "Forgive me." "Forgive me, Yuki." "I pushed her off the tree." "What?" "I pushed her." "Yuki-chan." "I pushed her." "I think I did." "I don't know but..." "I think I did it." "I pushed her, with this foot." "And she fell." "I could see her in the water." "And then she was gone." "I did." "What happened last night?" "Hello, what happened?" "What happened?" "Nothing." "Can you get water today with your scooter?" "There is a gas station on the main road." "We still have lots of water." "I want to wash my hair." "We have like..." " No, I need it." "Go!" "Can I..." "Can you read this maybe?" "I can't..." "I can't understand it." "Sayonara is..." "Is like goodbye." "OK." "Thank you." "You have to talk to me." "Look at me." "I'm totally freaking out here!" "You stupid, uptight old cow!" "What's your problem?" "You can't just lie there and not even look at me." "Damn!" "Should I apologize for taking you down from the fucking tree?" "I'm sorry." "You take me with you?" "Little vacation." "We need a little vacation." "Radiation vacation." "Radiation vacation?" "We were going to get married, two weeks before the wedding I panicked." "I slept with his best friend." "We agreed not to tell him but on the wedding day I had to tell him." "It hurt him so much." "So I lost him." "Everything." "It's my fault." "Nobody died, but still the pain..." "I don't know what I'm doing here." "With you." "Mother!" "What are you doing here?" "Mari-chan." "My daughter Toshiko." "You could have called me." "I don't have a telephone." "What if I had not been there?" "Then you wouldn. t have been there." "Is she your new student?" "Someone as clumsy as her?" "You are very condescending." "She's very tall though." "Strong, too." "She really helped me in the house." "Being back at the house isn't normal." "The shelter drove me crazy." "I wanted to visit you." "It would have depressed you." "Sorry, I..." "Don't worry about me." "Stop that, please." "Stop that, please, Mom." "Stop it!" "Mother turned up unexpectedly, with a German." "My name is Kokubo." "Nice to meet you." "Pleasure." "Mother, you smell." "A little, yes." "When Toshiko was little, she was always jealous of my students." "It's not so easy to be the daughter of the geisha." "So, I gave her a cat." "She loved her cat more than anything." "But the cat died." "She wept for days and days." "So, I told her, her cat would get reincarnated." "Reborn." "She stopped weeping and waited." "So, one day I started to meow." "I wanted to make her happy." "She liked it." "She believed it." "Her cat was back." "I meowed, and she was happy." "As she got older, she understood, and never forgave me." "She thinks I'm crazy and not a good mother." "Tadaima?" "What does it mean?" ""I'm at home.'." "That's what you say when you come home." "Please, give this to Yuki." "An old custom, a husband for her." "She's not so lonely anymore." "Why don't you give it to her?" "I'm afraid of her." "I'm afraid that she will never forgive me." "Oh, hello." "What a surprise!" "Thanks for taking the trouble." "Hello." "We came here to see you." "Thank you so much." "You've come all this way!" "It's so nice to see you." "Thank you!" "Now come in, please." "One moment!" "Could you turn a little further?" "Yes, that looks good." "Turn your face a little more, too." "Yes, that's about right." "That's very good." "Now again from the start."