"Previously on "Defying Gravity" " "What are you doing?" "You try to find the problem and I'll try to find your sex drive." "Do you have any--?" "I've had a vasectomy." "According to your chart you did, but not according to your scan." "(Whispers) Thank god I'm not pregnant." "Oh, no, no. you are pregnant." "You're just not gonna have a baby." "Look, I know of a guy." "He's a doctor." "Check..." "(Woman) Donner?" "Check." "Do you copy?" "Launch now, Donner!" "(Ted) Donner, my man, this had better be a joke." "Talk to me." "Donner, do you copy?" "Sharon?" "(Mouths words)" "It knows." "Beta knows." "We need you to visit pod 4, honey." "(Ted) When were you gonna tell everybody else?" "43 days - when you get to Venus." "(Donner) 'P.N.R. -- 'point of no return." "'It sounds simple." "'You step across the line, 'and you focus only on the way ahead." "'No going back." "'Sounds like a good way to live life-- 'look only ahead..." "'put the bad stuff behind you and move on." "'But that's impossible." "'Your past always finds you. . .'" "(Zoe) Donner?" "'Even when you think you've let it go.'" "Everything OK?" "Yeah." "During the days of the Roman republic, crossing the Rubicon River with an army was considered an act of war." "(Beeping) In 49 B.C. , Julius Caesar ignored that law." "He made the choice to cross the river, leading to civil war, the end of the republic and his own deification." "I'd say Caesar won." "Thank you, Nadia." "Gracias." "Once we pass our own Rubicon point, we'll no longer be able to do a direct abort and return quickly to earth." "This is our last chance to take a shortcut home instead of having to go all the way around Venus, and we're pretty far away from home right now, almost 30 million kilometres." "Do you see earth way out to the left at about 11:00?" "Very soon it will look like just another star in the night sky." "I really think we should tell them about Beta now." "I know this group, they need some time to process." "There are larger issues at play here." "This call's not up to you, it's not even up to me." "But I don't want to lie to them." "This isn't about what any of us want." "This is about what we have to do." "(Sighs)" "Ted." "Roger that." "Good night." "(Ted) Donner and Nadia, we need a nominal for every system before we can pass Rubicon tonight at 19:00." "About 30 systems are coming up as off-nominal." "Probably just needs a reboot, but you get to check it anyway." "Lucky us." "And we will be assembling a time capsule." "Oh, you gotta be kidding me." "Time capsule?" "On our last mission to Mars, at Rubicon," "Goss had each of us pick an object, something personal." "And we put them all in a time capsule and we left it behind." "We have to leave something?" "I don't think I have anything I can get rid of." "Just put a pair of your undies in, Morales." "That is not funny." "Well, it's a little funny." "Everything I have is important to me." "It's supposed to be important to you, Morales." "That's why you're leaving it behind." "You know, Mars mission's not exactly a time in my life" "I'm looking to relive." "Well, this time capsule isn't about Mars, Donner, it's about unity." "It's about mutual sacrifice." "Anything that brings us closer will make it easier to deal with challenges down the line." "OK, and you believe that?" "Yes, I do." "Well, I didn't bring anything to put in it." "(Scoffs) Oh, yes, you did." "This is Rufus." "OK." "What's a rufus?" "It's our space baby-- or at least, he will be." "Right now it's a 21-day-old rabbit embryo." "Rufus, say hello to your dad." "(Clears throat, lowers voice) Jen, what are you doing?" "You know you're not supposed to keep those embryos past a couple of days." "It's just with this one." "Jen, you cannot have a full-grown rabbit on the ship." "You know you're gonna have to kill it" " I know." "I know." "I-I just..." "I wanted to keep one for a little while." "I mean, aren't you a little bit happy?" "Babies are supposed to make everyone happy." "It's a 21-day-old rabbit embryo." "It's not a baby." "Uh, OK." "You know what?" "Um, I never showed him to you." "Jen." "No, it's fine." "It's fine." "I'm fine." "I just" " Forget I even brought it up." "Bye, babe." "Storage bay 7 pressurization system?" "Rebooting." "Pressurization system is now nominal." "Everything should be that easy." "Uh, accelerometer assembly system?" "(Beep) Nominal." "Microwave scan beam?" "(Beep) Nominal." "OK." "Uh, how about I take the ones over here and you take the ones over there?" "The brayton turbines?" "Why is this a problem for you?" "The brayton turbines?" "Before we left, things were good." "I think they're still good." "I think we're gonna be a go." "Not this." "This." "I liked being friends with benefits." "Why are things different up here than they were down there?" "Because they just are." "Is this about Zoe?" "No. (Scoffs) no." "Because it was about Zoe last time." "This has nothing to do with Zoe." "Look, we're not training anymore." "I don't want to complicate this mission." "This mission?" "This is about Sharon." "It was ten years ago, Donner." "Let it go." "(Nadia) Is it weird for you?" "A lot of things are weird for me." "What'd you have in mind?" "Goss ranking everyone who might get to go on the mission." "A.S.C.A.N.S and instructors." "Uh-huh." "You nervous?" "I don't get nervous." "Confident." "I like that." "How about a wager?" "I'm ranked higher than you, you sleep with me." "If you are ranked higher than me, I'll sleep with you." "Uh, I don't date astronauts." "Mm, you should reconsider." "Yeah?" "I have a lot to offer." "Like what?" "One, no emotional attachment." "Uh-huh." "Two, no expectations." "I don't care if we have a future." "I don't care if you call me the next day." "And I really don't care if you ever buy me dinner." "But I like dinner." "Don't get too comfortable being on top, Schilling." "I love being on top." "Looks like I win." "(Lowered voice) I vote my place." "Damn it." "I'm not top eight." "28th?" "Seriously?" "28th?" "Four better than me." "Dead last." "Give me the belt." "Yeah." "Way to go, bud." "Thanks." "Don't worry about it." "It's only the first one, right?" "It'll get better." "And you have that thing to deal with." "You know, the thing, the, um..." "Extenuating circumstances." "28th is not extenuating circumstances. 28th is, um..." "28th is I'm gonna end up teaching high school Geology." "12th and 13th?" "It's Goss." "I stood on Mars." "Excuse me?" "I'm just putting that out there, that I've stood on Mars." "I know." "I was there." "No, no, no." "Let's be clear." "I was on Mars." "He was on Mars." "You were safe up on "Zeus" issuing commands." "That's cos I was the commander of the ship." "You seriously expect me to believe that I'm 12th?" "I might have tolerated second because Ted Shaw is a hell of an astronaut, but 12th?" "Donner, it's just a preliminary-- I've stood on Mars." "You're handicapping us because of something that happened five years ago that we were all responsible for." "You're right." "I'm what?" "You're right." "I am handicapping you two." "I don't want you guys on this mission." "In fact, I don't want you anywhere near my ship." "You got baggage, Donner." "Baggage kills people." "No." "Thinking you're infallible kills people that didn't have to die." "I knew exactly what I was doing, and I can live with that." "Can you really?" "Yeah, I can." "Come on, dude." "It's not worth it." "You got something else, Donner?" "Come on." "You have the 10-minute rule in Germany?" "It's awesome." "If Donner isn't here in two more minutes, we all get to leave." "OK..." "Oh, come on." "Today we're gonna be looking at Antares flight system." "Except some idiot has posted the schematic for the lab module." "Um..." "(sighs) all right." "Um, it's gonna be a general overview today." "Those of you who don't wash out will have the privilege of learning all about it later." "Wrong." "That's wrong." "That's wrong." "That's wrong." "Wrong." "Damn it." "I've just never done anything illegal, like ever." "I follow rules." "I am..." "I'm a rule follower." "Well, uh, don't worry." "The market for keeping these things under wraps is pretty big." "Tell me about the risks with the pill." "Give me odds." "Well, in clinical trials in Europe, one in a thousand women have difficulties." "Those are pretty good odds." "So that's what I recommend to you." "I, uh, I'm not sure what I wanna do yet." "Well, I understand." "It's a difficult decision." "So I'll leave you my card." "If you decide that you want to move forward, then you give me a call." "All right." "OK." "Good luck." "(Doorbell Rings)" "Your father has left me." "What?" "Your father has left me." "Dad has not left you." "I should have seen this coming." "Mercury was in retrograde when we got married." "Mom, I don't have time for the crazy thing you do every time dad goes on a dig, all right?" "I'm in the middle of training." "Oh, it's not just a dig." "He left for good." "See?" "Here's the note." "Do you have anything to drink?" "And since when did you start eating ice cream?" "I've always eaten ice cream." "Not by the bucket and only when you have the flu." "Maybe you could sneeze on your note-leaving father." "Dad always leaves a note, he doesn't believe in saying good-bye, and you are overreacting, like you always do." "I'm overreacting, because this time there's someone else." "Oh, there's someone else." "A field assistant not much older than you are." "Huh." "What are you gonna do?" "I have no idea." "Moving on to water filtration system." "(Beep) How we doing?" "(Beep) Off-nominal." "Really?" "Mm-hmm." "It didn't clear on reboot." "Let me see that." "(Beep) Huh." "How long till Rubicon?" "4 hours, 17 minutes." "OK." "Keep going." "(Ted) Any idea what's going on?" "Oh, it could be anything." "The first four panels are nominal." "If we can find it, it should be easy to fix." "Rubicon's in four hours." "Roger that." "All's green and nominal." "I'll start down here." "You OK?" "You're being quiet." "You're never quiet." "Rollie and I kinda had a fight this morning." "What?" "You and Rollie never fight." "It's just..." "His longest mission was 34 days, and I'm facing six years, and he's judging me." "For what?" "Nothing." "It was nothing." "It's..." "Cos he doesn't understand what it's like to be alone up here." "You know, he doesn't get it." "(Alert beeping)" "I just want to see where you spend your time." "Is that so bad?" "I won't even say I'm your mother." "You can introduce me as Bev Kennedy." "It'll be fun, like we're friends." "In fact, do that." "Maybe I can meet a hot astronaut." "Ew." "Hi." "I'm Bev Kennedy, Zoe's friend." "Two gin martinis, very dry, three olives." "You got it." "And before you start, I don't want to talk about your father or his stupid field assistant." "I want to focus on you." "Oh, let me do a reading." "You just carry them around with you now?" "Yeah." "Mom, could you please put those away?" "People I work with come in here." "Well, it's not like you ever tell me anything about your life." "How else am I gonna know if you're dating anyone?" "I'm not dating anyone." "Well, why not?" "You're a lovely girl when you put make up on." "Nice cards." "My mother was raised by gypsies." "She used to be fun." "All they'll tell you is that I am 28th in the programme, never gonna make the ship, and I should clearly just quit and get a research grant at some state university." "Oh, don't be ridiculous." "At least go for an ivy league school." "Do you even listen when I talk?" "Why are you here?" "To have a drink with my daughter." "No, no, no." "Why are you here here?" "I just wanted-- Wanted to wreak havoc in my life like you always do when dad leaves?" "Seriously, Bev, it's enough." "Ohh." "The falling tower." "Ohh." "I'm leaving." "You're making me dinner?" "Yes, I am." "Hi." "Hey, brother." "So have you thought about when you're coming over?" "I have not." "Oh, you lie." "OK." "I've thought about it a couple times." "And?" "Well, tempting as it might be, you're still an astronaut." "I don't date astronauts." "Technically, you don't date astronauts anymore." "Technically, that's true." "Technically, my top lock sticks, so you kind of have to jimmy the door a little and then pull..." ". .hard." "Lee, do we have access to the I.S.O. archives?" "We have unrestricted access to pretty much everything." "Listen, I want the Mars mission-- cockpit recordings, telemetrics, the works." "Copy." "(Goss) 'Calliope, this is Zeus." "'We're showing that the dust is breaching your thruster controls." "'The storm's on the rise." "We're losing your launch window." "(Donner) 'Copy that, Zeus." "Yeah, it's looking bad down here." "'How far out are they?" "100 metres." "We're holding.'" "The real feed never went to pixel." "It was edited." "The official statement says the transmission was cut off because of the storm." "Well, obviously not." "Turn up the volume on "b."" "'Just give 'em two minutes, Mike." "You don't have two minutes." "'Well, we're gonna take our chances." "Not on my watch." "'You will die." "The mission will fail." "'I need that lander off the planet now, Donner." "'Open the damn valve." "'Donner, launch.'" "They could have made it." "'Open the damn valve, Donner!" "'" "(Electronic female voice) 'Launch now.'" "(Donner) 'Oh, forgive me.'" "Who signed off on the editing and the press release?" "Goss?" "Yeah, it was Goss and someone else." "We've got two clearances here." "The second one's e-7." "What's e-7?" "The national security council." "(Ted) Everything OK?" "Think we missed something?" "Apparently not." "Listen." "Hypothetically, if somebody were to tell you that they're having, uh," "I don't know, hallucinations or something, what do you do?" "Hallucinations?" "Yeah." "Well, hypothetically," "I'd have to report them to mission control and recommend they have a serious psych evaluation and bar them from any E.V.A. activity or landings." "OK." "Good to know." "Oh, that is classic." "Excuse me?" "Well, is that really all you have?" "A bunch of religious crap?" "Send it all into space." "I wouldn't expect you to understand." "Well, I don't know, Morales." "I'm just saying, your faith must be wavering if you need all that crap to prove it." "Mm." "Hey." "Hi." "You know, I was just thinking that, um, we never actually got to talk about your paper, so I wanted to let you know that the offer is still open, if you're interested." "Drink?" "Cyanobacteria?" "Come on." "Tell me you're at least a little tempted." "It's just..." "(sighs) I-I can't." "OK." "Um..." "CanIask why ?" "Well, it's just that by "drink" I think you kind of mean "date", and I kind of am seeing Ted now, and it's just" " Ted's a friend." "When I say "drink" I really meant drink." "Look, if I were ever to ask you out on a date, you would know." "I'm such an ass." "I'm so sorry, Rol." "No." "No, no, no, no." "It's all right." "Maybe that didn't come out right." "You know what?" "Let's--let's just start this again." "I'd like to ask you some questions about your paper on cyanobacteria." "Can I buy you a drink?" "Well, it just so happens, those are two of my favourite things." "I'll take a draft, Tommy." "You're Maddux Donner." "Yes, I am." "You left two people on Mars." "That's the one." "My daughter's in the space programme." "She's very smart." "Zoe Barnes, do you know her?" "Yes, I do." "Are you Zoe's mom?" "Bev Barnes." "Nice to meet ya." "The next drink's on me." "Nice to meet you." "Zoe didn't even tell me that she met you." "That's what every guy wants to hear." "Well, don't take it personally." "She never tells me anything." "I'm sure it would have shown up in her cards, but she never indulges me." "Mm-hmm." "Would you like me to read you?" "Sure, if it doesn't involve money or pain." "Excellent." "Zoe's thinking about leaving the programme to look for a research grant at an ivy league school." "Really?" "Why?" "I don't know." "Something about the number 28 and a ship." "I think she's being ridiculous." "You got your question?" "Yeah, go ahead." "Cut." "Ah, the Lover." "Mm." "Well, you have at least one very important love affair in your life, possibly two." "It's not clear." "She really said she's leaving, huh?" "Well, she said she's considering it." "The fool with the star." "Hmm." "What's that?" "You're a man haunted by your past." "Not that that's surprising, given your past." "(Cell phone rings)" "My cheating husband." "Excuse me." "No, it's just I've always been so fascinated with marine life." "And I see these pictures of what the great barrier reef looked like when it was still underwater." "I can't help but wonder..." "If "the effects of global warming" ""were directly responsible for the death of cyanobacteria" ""and ultimately the death of the great barrier reef."" "Wow." "You really have read my paper." "That's impressive, sir." "I also read your, um, follow-up, where you talk about the reintroduction of cyanobacteria into the rice paddies in Asia." "Help promote the growth of rice and hopefully, uh, help alleviate the world food shortage." "It's very interesting." "OK, um, I'm slightly terrified right now, cos that's bordering on stalker." "But seriously, I mean, they've been trying to put that into play for 50 years now." "Yeah, well, I guess it's just your dumb luck there's someone else here who actually cares about what's going on with the earth." "We might be the only two." "Hmm." "Well, then here's to you and me, baby." "Hey, babe." "Hi." "Ready for dinner?" "Hey, my man." "Hey, brother." "How you doing?" "Thank you so much for the drink and the cyanobacteria." "You're welcome." "Thoughts on cyanobacteria and the rice paddies in Asia?" "Say nothing." "I think she's beautiful." "Well, that's not bad, but anyway, have a good night." "You guys have a good dinner." "Good night." "Good night." "Found this somewhere." "Thank you." "Actually, I was in the back of the class." "I had to duck." "Yeah, it got away from me." "Sorry about that." "Anger will do that, and frustration." "Guilt." "It's not just a baseball, is it?" "Mintz, don't shrink me." "I'm just saying, if the story's true, that's a lot to carry around." "What story is that?" "Two astronauts are secretly dating." "They go to a baseball game a couple nights before their Mars mission launch." "He catches a home run ball and he gives it to her - her prized possession." "She takes it to Mars, and she doesn't make it back." "From that moment on, he can't put that ball down." "Maybe I got it wrong." "Yeah, you did." "Sharon caught the ball, bare-handed." "(Knocks)" "Mrs Lewis." "Maddux." "We agreed you wouldn't come here again." "I know we did." "I'm--I'm, uh, I'm sorry." "It won't happen again." "Uh..." "I have a confession to make." "Um..." "When we got back from Mars," "I-I took this from, uh, your daughter's things before they had a chance to pack 'em up and send 'em to you." "I didn't have any right to do that." "I'm sorry." "This belongs to you, and, uh, I think..." "I think you oughta have it." "What makes you think that I would want that, Maddux?" "I don't know." "It was Sharon's, and, um..." "I know it meant something to her." "Well, it means nothing to me." "Good night, Mrs Lewis." "Where have you been?" "Your father called." "I'm going to meet him on the dig." "Uh-huh." "What about "someone else"?" "What?" "Mother." "OK, OK." "I might have overreacted." "You OK, Zoe?" "You look a little lost." "You sure you don't want me to..." "OK." "OK?" "Really?" "OK as in yes?" "Don't make me say it again." "I might come to my senses." "So you're pregnant." "The hanged man told you that?" "No." "Your boobs are huge, two tubs of Rocky Road, and you haven't had anything to drink since I got here." "What are you gonna do?" "I don't know." "This one is nominal, too." "They're all good." "Well, that makes no sense." "(Sighs) All right, let's check 'em again." "(Exhales deeply)" "Has it occurred to you that everything's gone wrong with this mission?" "Wrenches, filtration systems." "Antares was in orbit for a year of testing before we left." "Maybe it's us." "Yeah, well, maybe it is." "I was kidding." "Donner, we weren't even supposed to be here dealing with this." "We're supposed to be on earth." "You're supposed to be irritating Goss, and I'm supposed to be reading "Goodnight Moon" to my son and sleeping in bed with my wife." "Everything has gone wrong with this mission from the start." "And maybe it's time we said enough is enough." "Are you saying you don't want to do the check?" "You just want to turn the thing around and go home?" "No." "Well, it kind of sounds to me like that's what you're saying." "Ted, what's going on?" "Do you know something I don't know?" "No, not a thing." "Let's just check 'em again." "(Knocks on door)" "Wow." "What are you doing here?" "What's this I hear about you leaving?" "What?" "Well, Bev tells me that you're thinking about leaving the programme." "Bev should not talk to strangers." "I'm not a stranger." "Bev gave me a reading." "She was actually kind of accurate." "Perfect(!" ") How do you even think about leaving?" "I don't think I'm gonna have much choice in the matter." "You did see I was 28th." "Yeah." "No, come on." "That's like a preliminary ranking." "Yeah." "You ever think about..." "living a different life?" "What do you mean?" "Like what?" "Like a regular job and a family." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Someday." "I mean, right now, more than anything, I just want to fly." "Don't you?" "(Whispers) Yeah." "Don't leave." "Why?" "You're gonna be a good astronaut." "Good night, Donner." "All right, what now, engineer?" "Humour me a second." "It's number five." "The instrument panel says it's clean." "Run a sample check." "This is definitely off-nominal." "Donner, you're reaching." "Let'sjust run the sample." "Look at the ph." "The sensor must be out." "Probably ruined the carbon scrubs." "We would have been screwed." "Yeah." "And you know there's no way to judge ph by just looking at something." "Well, it's just lucky then, I guess." "(Electronic Voice) Message waiting." "(Beep) Message waiting." "'Hey, Jenny." "'I guess you must be busy." "'I just wanted to say that I'm..." "'I'm sorry about this morning." "'And I don't want to fight with you." "'No, I don't get it." "'I just" " I just want to talk to you, 'let you explain it to me." "'In the meantime, um..." "(clears throat)" "'. .tell...RufusthatDaddysays  hello 'and I wish I were there with both of you.'" "Rubicon in five..." "four... three..." "two..." "one." "# Scared of what I saw" "# Are you mad at all?" "(Rollie) Godspeed, Antares." "Godspeed." "It doesn't even look like earth anymore." "Mike, I need to talk to you." "I got a board dinner." "I've seen the Mars recordings, both of them." "My clearance actually exceeds the N.S.C." "Well, if you've seen both recordings, then you know I did my duty as commander." "I've seen the whole file, Mike, including the telemetry." "It shows that Lewis and Walker didn't stop." "And Donner and Shaw didn't panic." "You did." "You're out of line." "We both know I'm not." "We both know I had a damn good reason for wanting them off that planet." "I want you off their backs, Mike." "And whatever personal animosity you have towards them..." "(let it go.)" "(Donner) 'Passing the point of no return doesn't just happen." "'It's a choice that we make, a line we decide to cross." "' And then we live with the consequences.'" "'Eve, I don't care what he says." "'There is no way he knew the ph was off in that tank." "'And he was talking about hallucinations earlier today.'" "What did you tell him?" "Nothing, which was the wrong thing to do, but I told him nothing." "We're all doing what's necessary, Ted." "Yeah, well, we'll see what tomorrow brings." "'There are no promises of a positive outcome, 'no guarantees that, like Caesar, we'll wind up with an empire.'" "They feel a lot further away today than they did yesterday." "Don't they?" "'All we can really count on is that things will change 'and that we'll have to live with the results. . .'" "Hey, madman." "You know, you got me thinking yesterday, and I realized that this time capsule is actually about being willing to let something go than having to." "So you all get your stuff back." "That's not the way Goss did it." "Do I look like Goss to you?" "It's a different mission." "Remember that." "'And that's the hard part - 'because we're defined by our past.'" "(Gunfire) (Girl screams)" "(Explosions)" "'We can rethink our choices a million times..." "'. .but what we decide, we own." "'It becomes a part of who we are." "'And while we may be crossing the river..." "'. .our footprints will always remain on the other side.'" "E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk"