"Jaye ?" "Hello, Eric." "Okay." "I guess didn't really expect you to rush over and take me in your arms... but at least say something." "We're closed." "I'm your wife, Eric." "You have to talk to me sometime." "How'd you get in here, anyway?" "I bribed the busboy." "The same way you "tipped" the bellman on our honeymoon?" "What I did was unforgivable." "But here I am, anyway... begging you to forgive me." "Don't get on your knees." "Wouldn't help your case much." " You're trying to hurt me." " How'm I doin'?" "I want you to get mad, Eric." "That's what you're supposed to do." "Scream at me." "Call me names." "Throw..." "I've had a really bad night." "You might wanna go." "I'm not leaving." " Not without you." " It's never gonna happen, Heidi." "I made a mistake." "For better or worse." "Those were the vows..." "You're gonna talk to me about vows?" "They meant something to you." "I know they did." "I wasn't the only one who made promises." "And I didn't break mine." "Who's Jaye?" "You said her name when you came in." "Did she help you get over me?" "........" "Jaye..." "This is Heidi... my wife." "Heidi, this is Jaye." "My... ex." "Or something..." "You two should chat." "You've got a lot in common." "I need some air." "So." "You're the reason my husband stayed in Niagara Falls." "Excuse me?" "I think you're the reason your husband stayed in Niagara Falls." "I'm not the one that broke your wedding vows." "Mend what is broken." " He's still my husband." " What did you say?" " Mend what is broken." " We're still married, so you need to back off." " Mend it." " You can't make me!" "You don't think so?" "If you're looking for a fight, you'll get it." "Eric's leaving with me." "I don't care how long it takes." "Mend what is broken." "Hello?" "Mahandra?" "Uh..." "Oh, god." "Sorry " " I must've misdialed -- go back to sleep." " Hello?" " Hi." " Jaye ?" " Yeah." "Listen, can you come over right away?" "Why?" "What's wrong?" "Nothing." "Everything." "Don't ask questions." "Just get over here." "I'm on my way." "Jaye's having a crisis." "My car's in the shop, think you could........" "Hey -- what's wrong?" "Nothing." "Everything." "You sound like my sister." "I'm not your sister!" "I mean..." "I had a very nice time." "Thank you." "You had a "very nice" time?" "Yes." "Very nice." "It was very nice." "Also, very wrong." "Or it would have been wrong if it in fact had happened." "But it didn't." " It didn't?" " Nope." "Never happened." "Because that'd be..." " Wrong?" " Right!" "I mean, we practically grew up together." "Your family's always been like a second family to me." "........" "Oh, god!" "No..." "I don't know what you expected, Karen." "You know what these medical conferences are like." "Yes." "Like an all night poker game, evidently." "While your wife sits alone in her hotelroom wearing her new, untried teddy." "Morning Mrs. T, Mr. T." " Morning, dear." " Good morning." "There was a teddy?" "And how long has this been going on?" "I dunno." "Two months?" "More than two months?" "Remember the 'sode I had at work?" "When I passed out?" "That's when it started." "So it's not just the cow creamer?" "Huh-uh." "Interesting..." "No!" "Not interesting!" "Crazy, right?" "It's crazy that a person would think inanimate objects are talking to them, telling them to do things." "And crazier that a person would feel compelled to do the things the inanimate objects are telling them to do!" "Please tell me it's crazy." "Do you want it to be crazy?" "I want it to be over." "Do they ever tell you to hurt people?" "Let's just say the thing they're telling me to do now would hurt." "Something's talking to you now?" "Not right this second." "Mend what was broken." "Okay, now." " Was it this?" " No." "That's a salt shaker." "Yeah..." "It doesn't have a face." "It has to have a face." "And from what I can tell it has to be an animal face." "Um, you're surrounded by things with animal faces..." "Crazy, right?" "What's with the broken glass everywhere?" "Was there an earthquake?" "You could say that." "Oh." "Right." "Bad night, huh?" "I'm guessing yours was better." "What are you accusing me of?" "Are you saying I'm glowing?" "I'm not glowing." "I mean, maybe I am." "I'm a woman of color, we just do that, alright?" "Uh, I just meant the shrew who ruined my life showed up here last night to ruin my life some more." "Oh." "That." "Look, she may be confused but she's not a shrew." "You're defending her?" "It's my job." "Plus I might've kinda encouraged her to... do the deed." "You didn't even know me then." "How did you encourage my wife to give the bellman... room service?" "Your wife?" "I thought we were talking about Jaye." "No." "I was talking about Heidi." "She came back last..." "Wait a minute... you encouraged Jaye to break up with me?" "I thought we weren't talking about Jaye?" "You know what?" "Forget it." "Jaye's the least of my problems right now." "And here comes most of them." "Heidi, what are you still doing here?" "I told you I'm not leaving without you." "I managed to rent our honeymoon suite." "Why don't you come back there with me and let me make things right?" "You want me to go back there?" "Are you out of your mind?" "Didn't really think that one through did you?" "Eric... please..." "I love you." "I stayed away as long as I thought was good for us." "You got some of your frustration out with that... girl, Jaye, and that's good..." "Oh please!" "First of all, if you think Jaye made him less frustrated, you're sadly mistaken." "And what he did and what you did?" "Not even in the same league." "Eric made a friend." "You, like, did it with your brother." "Because... at a hotel... they make you feel like family?" "I know you want to come home." "You were too easy to find." "If you'd really wanted to stay lost -- you could have." "What makes you think I'm lost?" "Maybe I just like it here." "I'm supposed to believe you dropped out of your whole life to work in a bar?" "You were my life, Heidi, and you're the one that dropped out." "This is a good idea." "A good idea." "Should have done it a long time ago." "How's that list coming?" "Uh, it's done." "This is everything?" "Everything I could think of." "Yeah." "Dad's lawn flamingos..." "All of them?" "What's the difference?" "Good point." "Okay." "Well." "You're the only thing with a face in here now." "This trailer is clean." "Kind of." "You just... stay here and... sweat it out." "And try to get some rest." "What're you gonna do with 'em?" "Don't worry." "I'll take care of it." "Oh." "I didn't drive." "Can I borrow your car?" "Sure." "Thank you." "No problem." "Mend what was broken." "D amnit!" "Mend what... was broken..." "Hey." "Hey." "Thanks for calling." "Least I could do." "So you hit her with a TV, huh?" "Must've been some fight." "Heidi's not un-scrappy." "Oh." "Well." "No." "She... she was just standing outside my window when I... got mad at my TV." "Never even knew she was there." "Oh." "So..." "last night, at the bar." "You raced in, I raced out." "Was there something you were coming to say?" "Mend what was broken." "Oh... no." "Not really." "Right..." "Guess I better go check on my wife." "Follow!" "Drop your gum!" "Jaye?" "What are you doing here?" "Is everything okay?" "Just here with a friend." "A very handsome friend." "He's here to check on his wife." "Oh." "What a very thoughtful husband." "Follow my finger." "Looks like you have a mild concussion." "I think you'll pull through." "Are you the husband?" "Eric?" "I'm here." "What happened?" "Are we in Ireland?" "No." "You're still in Niagara Falls." "You..." "You had an accident." "An accident?" "Oh no!" "On our honeymoon?" "Really?" "With a television?" "Were there riots?" "No riots." "I just threw it out my window." "But it was an accident -- y'know, if the cops ask." "Oh." " Who is she?" " Nobody." "You don't remember anything about the incident, Mrs. Gotts?" "Mrs. I love being a Mrs." "No." "I don't remember it at all." "She seems to be missing a couple other details, too." "Well, you can fill me in on the way back to the hotel." "I'm afraid I can't recommend you go anywhere just yet." "Complications can develop." "And if you're experiencing memory loss," " you'll want to consult a specialist." " He's right, you should stay here." " What?" "Baby, I'm fine " " You don't remember anything, Heidi." "That's okay." "We're here to make memories." "I'm not spending my honeymoon in a hospital bed." "Maybe in a bed..." "You should just listen to the doctor..." "Check out time!" "No she shouldn't!" "She seems fine." "You should check her out." "You are my new best friend!" "I'll have to ask you to sign a release stating that you understand this is against my advice." "We will." "Not a problem." "I'll get the forms." "What are you doing?" "What do you mean?" "Did you get hit on the head, too?" "She's not my responsibility." "So what were you gonna do?" "Just leave her here all by herself in a hospital?" " Yeah." " You can't do that." " Why not?" " Because... you're not that guy." "You're just not." "..........." "You read Karen Tyler?" "You're a woman after my own heart." "Thank you." "Oh." "You are Karen Tyler." "Frank Chambers." "I've read all your books." "We traveled together, you and I. Kindred spirits, really." "Until you broke my heart." "I'm sorry..." "You did." "With your otherwise poetic exploration of Ireland." "You called Dublin a "tired berg full of workaday drunks barely dragging themselves from pub to pub."" "It was never the same between us after that." "As I recall, a man vomited on my shoe as I stepped out of the taxi." "Well, that will happen..." "And then again as I went out for breakfast the following morning." "Your shoes haven't fared much better here." "But you wouldn't write Niagara up as a berg full of gum-droppers, would you?" "Well, Doctor, I do appreciate feedback from fans, but I do stand by my reviews." "Then I'll make it my mission to change your mind." "Over dinner, perhaps?" "Come on, Karen Tyler." "One dinner in the pursuit of truth in journalism." "I promise not to vomit on your shoes." "Oh ......." "Sweetie?" "Let's get you to a chair." "Oh, baby." "I'm fine." "You don't have to worry." "Really." "But you're going to anyway, aren't you?" "And that's why I love you." "I'm so sorry I ruined our honeymoon." "But I'm okay now." "We're gonna be okay." "I promise." "Get off you knees." "Stay..." "Be back." "Brain damage suits her." "I mean, y'know, she seems nice." "Maybe... more like the girl you married?" "Probably good she can't remember what happened." "Just because she can't remember doesn't mean I can forget." "So what is it?" "You figure if you can get me back together with my wife, that makes you less of a flake?" "No, I..." "You think I'm a flake?" "Last night you told me to run." "So I did what you said." "I ran." "But then you came after me -- why?" " I..." " Mend..." "I think... she's been in there for a long time." "Maybe you should check on her." "You're her new best friend." "You check on her." "I'm late for work." "How's this for room... s ervice." "Pretty." "Mom met a man!" "A fan, Sharon." "A fan." "I dropped my books at the hospital and he helped me pick them up." "Well, who said chivalry's dead?" "Perhaps you know him, Darrin." "Dr. Frank Chambers?" "Frank Chambers?" "Oh, yeah." "He said something about being a fan of your work." "Didn't I mention that?" "No." "No, you didn't." " Must've slipped my mind." " He invited me to dinner." "What?" "!" "Don't worry, it didn't 'slip my mind' to mention that I'm married." "Well he knows you're married, Karen, he works with your husband." "Besides, he's new in town, he doesn't know many people." "If he invited you out, I think it's rather rude not to accept." "I know you're not actually suggesting that Mom go out with another man?" "Why not?" "He's a promising young doctor, maybe she can charm him into buying you dinner next." "No!" "I don't want dinner!" "And neither does Mom!" "Right?" "Actually, I'm feeling a bit peckish." "Ooh, she mixed Reggiano in with the Parmesan -- lovely." "Are those my flamingo?" "No." "Bet he's down in the gift shop." "Watch, in a minute he'll come back in here with flowers or some cute stuffed animal." "God, I hope not." "He's always doing those thoughtful little things." "Yeah." "I mean." "He seems like the type." "He is." "He really is." " Sounds like a lot of pressure." " You have no idea." "I mean, good pressure." "But, sometimes it's like..." "I look in his eyes and the way they... see..." " The way they see me..." " ......" "Right." "Only, you're not sure if that's you." "I mean, if you're the woman he sees you as." "But you want to be." "You try to be." "And you feel like, if he sees you that way, maybe you can be..." "That's what I want." "I want to be the woman Eric sees me as." "For both of us." "He must've forgot his key..." "Eric." "Hi." "I saw you checked back in." "I waited 'til I saw him leave, like last time..." "Ohmygod... you remember." "What?" "You don't have amnesia, do you?" "If you tell Eric, I'll murder you in your sleep." "I swear." "Faking amnesia?" "How "Days Of Our Lives" can you get?" "Oh please!" "This whole thing's your fault." "While normally that'd be true, this time I'm quite certain you're the crazy one." " You hit me with a television!" " It was a portable!" "When I woke up, I really did think I was on my honeymoon." "For a second." "But you're the one who insisted Eric bring me back here!" "Fine, I'm the crazy one!" "But I had the Snake!" "But it's my snake and I want it back!" "The snake... that's a penis reference right?" "No!" "Gawd!" "With a mind that works like that, no wonder you cheated on your honeymoon." "Okay, glass house, giant stone." "I cheated once, but you've been involved with a married man for months!" "The bellman, Lady, on your honeymoon." "Between us, you win the skanky ho contest." "I was practicing, okay?" "I had never done it before!" "Don't even try it." "It's true." "I mean, I'd done it on vegetables and things..." " Oh gawd." " But it's not the same." "I made Eric wait until after the wedding, and he'd been so patient and I just wanted to get it right!" "It was a mistake, okay?" "I made a mistake!" "You ruined him!" "He can't even walk past a chapel without having an anxiety attack." "And there's a lot of chapels in this town!" "I'm sorry." "Okay?" "I said I was sorry." "Well, I hope you and your sorryness will be very happy." "Where're you going?" "Think I'll go help Eric 'practice.'" "You might not want to do that." "He's my husband." "And he loves me." "And I'm not letting you get in the way of that." "You really need to take your hand off me." "Not until you close the door." "Ooookay...." "You're eating popcorn?" "!" "It's low-fat." "Where is your wife?" "My mother?" "Your wife?" "!" "She's upstairs getting dressed." "Exactly." "She's getting dressed for a date with someone other than you." "My father, her husband." "Sharon, you're being ridiculous." "Your mother is dining with a fan." "And it's because our marriage is so strong that I don't have a problem with that." "Oh, really?" "Have you seen her?" "No, I..." "Sharon, I thought you were getting me a safety pin." "That must be Frank." "Well, I guess the bra strap will just have to show." "Sharon, get your mother a safety pin!" " Dr. Chambers." " Dr. Tyler." "How are you?" "Fine." "I'm fine." "Why wouldn't I be fine?" "Hello, Frank." "Hello Karen." "I'm so glad you changed your mind." "Frank, drink?" "Pop-corn?" "I got it, I got it!" "Sharon, this is Dr. Frank Chambers." "Lovely to meet you." "I'm quite a fan of your Mother's." "He's European." "So." "You'll be going out to dinner then?" "Yes." "We have eight o'clock reservations." "And do you expect to be very late?" "Oh, no... no ma'am." "Shall we?" "Good night, then." "Drive carefully!" "Alright, stop!" "Stop!" "You realize all of this is going on your credit card?" "Let's both just calm down and discuss this like mature adults..." "It's forty degrees out." "Shoes help." "Bitch!" "Alright, what're we drinking to?" "How 'bout crazy women and the losers who love them?" "You're not a loser." "She's your wife." "You don't just stop loving her because..." "I'm not talking about Heidi." "Oh." "Wow." "Really?" "You love her?" "Then you have to tell her." "Not until she tells me." "You playing chicken?" "She has to say it first?" "Not 'it." But something." "Anything." "I just need a word." "One word so I know I'm not the only one feeling this." "But she can't say it." "And I don't know why." "Well, maybe it's 'cause she's freaked out." "I mean, here you are, her friend, practically her brother, and now all the sudden she's thinking about you in dirty ways." "It's freaky, okay?" "I met Jaye three months ago." "How am I 'practically her brother?" "'" "You're a boy." "Hey, Mrs. T." "Hello, dear." "It's the beautiful sadness in your work that I find so compelling." "Sadness?" "A kind of ennui." "One invariably comes away from one of your books with the image of a lonely wanderer, forever buffeted from pillar to post." "Really?" "What are you doing here?" "Where are we going?" "Hey -- is that my mother?" "Who's the guy?" "He's touching her hand now!" "What?" "Where?" "I can't see!" "What?" "WHAT?" "She's eating his pickle!" "You shouldn't have come here." "I told you it can't happen again." "I mean, last night was great, okay?" "Better than great, but we can't." "If you were anyone else, maybe." "But you're not anyone else." "You're you." "And you're like a brother to me." "So, I make love like a black man?" "Not that kind of brother, you idiot!" "Look, it's too complicated." "It can't happen." "Just go." "I came for the fish." "Hi." "I have something to say..." "Okay..." "Okay." "Good." "Here's the thing..." "Shut it." "What?" "Uh..." "You're an amazing woman, Karen." "I know if you were mine you wouldn't be wandering alone." " I'd never let you out of my sight." " Yeah." "I agree." "Get up." "Darrin, what are you doing?" "I don't need to be hit over the head with a shillelagh to see what's going on here." "Get up." "Eric." "I lied to you!" "I'm sorry." "I remember everything." "And I lied about it." "It was wrong, but I didn't know what else to do." "I love you so much, Eric." "Please forgive me." "Dr. Tyler, there's really no need for this sort of unpleasantness." "You really need to take your hand off me." "Please... what can I do?" "What can I say?" "I don't know..." "Don't you think it'd be best for everyone here if you just turned around and walked away?" "I think it'd be best if you took your hand off me..." " That's what I want in my life." " Insane parents?" "Something worth fighting for." "Then fight for us." "I know I messed up, but if you'll let me," "I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you." "Eric, please... marry me again." "Fine." "Let's do it right now." "Really?" "There's an all-night chapel." "Spring Street, isn't it?" "Rainbow Boulevard." "Thanks." "Hey..." "What's up?" "Tyson/Holyfield, the senior tour." "Huh?" "My Mom was on a date with this hot guy, and then my Dad kicked his butt." " Then Heidi and Eric left to get re-married." " You wanna back up?" "To where?" "The butt-kicking?" "Oh." "Eric marrying the cheating liar." "Yeah." "That's my least favorite part, too." "And you let it happen?" "You just let him walk out of here with the Heidi-Ho?" "Oh, I wish I'd said that." "You still can!" "Go after them!" "Uh, aren't you the person who told me to break up with him?" "Maybe I was wrong." "You couldn't have been more right." "We're not supposed to be together." "Actually, sometimes the person you're not supposed to be with is the person you're supposed to be with." "Go tell him how you feel." "What happened to you?" "Nothing." "What?" "I'm not glowing." "I don't want to hurt him any more than I already have." "He's been through enough." "Nobody can get hurt by just admitting what they feel." "I think I might love him..." "Ouch." "See..." "That hurt..." "Jaye, you have to tell him." "He's been waiting for you to tell him!" "Go!" "Go right now!" "I can't." "Fine." "Then I will." "Coat." "Coat!" "Get to the church on time." "Bite me." "I kept my mouth shut." "It's not my fault if Mahandra doesn't forever hold her peace." "Get to the church." "........." "It already smelled good in here." "Drive faster." "Okay..." "Talk to me..." "Come on..." "Talk to me." "Please...?" "!" "Crap." "Jaye." "What are you doing here?" "I was uh..." "I wanted to..." "I'm so glad you're here." "Eric..." "Jaye, meeting you changed everything." "I didn't think I would ever feel that way again..." "Eric, please..." "I couldn't understand why you wouldn't admit how you feel." "But now I know." "You do?" "I took vows, too." "And not honoring them was literally breaking me in half." "I'll never be able to move on with my life if I don't try to make this work." "This is what I have to do." "I can't just walk away." "You're not that guy." "No..." "I'm not." "And that's why I'm crazy about you." "Notice anything different?" "I can breathe." "Are you the witness?" "I am..."