"(PHONE RINGING)" "This is Bob." "I'm good, howarethingsgoing, areyouhanginginthere ?" "Okay." "Yeah." "It's kind of shocking to you, right?" "Yeah, with..." "Yeah, with cutting and eating disorders and drug and alcohol dependency." "The therapeutic community doesn'twanna tellyouanything." "You know it's a strange environment that I work in." "We're trying to help your daughter come up with a game plan to process her feelings and why this is going on." "Instead of just a standard diagnosis and then put her on some medication and..." "It's a snake chag itsowntail." "Bob's life is an amazingly perfect story." "He was this like wild, alcoholic,drugaddictguy." "And, and then he justflippedit, like, a 180intothisguy that brings people tosobriety." "I'm pretty good at, you know, making them feel comfortable and, and trusting and stuff like that." "'Cause I have a kind of different approach to the whole thing." "LOVE:" "Well, he's given up hislife,essentially." "You have no idea how many times he's..." "Helped my family." "Okay, I'll call you back." "Sure it's gonna be all right." "Okay." "BOB:" "How I got to be a drug andalcoholspecialist wasalonghard strange, crazy, wonderful, fantasticroad, and it started in music." "WEISS:" "Bob Forrest isoneofthe, was,  andeveryonewilltell you,  one of the biggest assholes ever to live." "♪ I say, fuck you, Jess I don'tneedyou to shakemy leg" "♪ I don't need nofuckingJesus tosavemeatall" "♪ I'm here" "MULLEN:" "Bob is the artist thathadall the aces andthetrumps." "And just, tore them up." "BOB:" "I didn't mean to hurt anybodybutmyself." "Okay, here's the thing." "When I was a kid," "I read the book, uh, Ladies and Gentlemen, LennyBruce,right?" "When I was 13 years old all I wanted to do was shoot heroin." "Like that's what I wanted." "(ELECTRIC GUITAR PLAYING)" "(PEOPLE CHEERING)" "Most people thought I wasgonnadie ." "I thought I was gonna di." "But you don't think in ts oflikeI'm gonnadieto," "I'm just gonna take some moredrugstoday." "Inevitably this isn't gonnaendwell." "Then I was mistaken, 'cause it does end well if you don't die." "(RADIO TUNING)" "(OVER RADIO) This is Brooke ShieldsandIgotmyradio stationon RodneyontheROQ." "♪ Jenny said, when she ws justaboutfiveyearsold Hey,youknow," "♪ Nothing happens at all" "♪ Every time sheputsontheradio" "♪ There wasn't nothing goingdownatall" "♪ Not at all" "♪ Then, one fine morning, sheputson a NewYorkstation" "♪ You know, she couldn't believe what she heard at all" "♪ Not at all" "♪ She started dancing tothatfine,fine mc" "♪ You know, her life wassavedbyrock 'n'rol" "♪ Rock 'n' roll" "♪ Despite all theimputations" "♪ You could dance" "♪ To the rock'n 'rollstation" "♪ It was all right" "BOB:" "Hollywood in 1981 wastheplace where people were madto live,mad totalk ." "Crazy for everything, wantingof everything." "I was going to LACityCollege, but to me it was just schol wasin theway ofdoing whatIwantedtodo  which was drink and go out and have fun and be around music and be around writers andpoetsand ..." "Junkies and hookers." "Andso Idid that." "I wrote poetry andImanagedabooksto." "I wanted to be around those peoplethatBukowski andChandlerwroteabout." "There was so much pulling meto allofthis ." "Like there's this part in KerouOnTheRoad where he says," ""And they danced downthestreet, andIshambledafter'em." ""As I've been doing my whole life after people who interest me." ""Because the only people forme arethe mad ones." ""The ones that are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved." ""Desirous of everything atthesametime ." ""The ones that never yawnor say a commonplacething," ""but burn, burn, burnlikefabulous yellowRomancandles." ""Exploding like spidersacrossthe stars." ""And in the middle you se a bluecenterlightpop,  andeverybodygoes,'Ah. "" "♪ Despite the imputations" "♪ You can dance toarock'n'rollstation" "♪ You know itwasall right♪" "That thing that JackKerouacdescribes, most everyone that I associatewith inLosAngeleshadi ." "And I'd come from thiskindaCatholic,weird," "Palm Springs Republicanbackground." "And like meeting peoplelikethiswas..." "It was like I had fallen intoparadise." "It was one of the most exciting times ever in this town, musically for sure." "With the Monster, and The Weirdos and Jane's Addiction and the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Fishbone and all of these bands, we were all kind of..." "The party was happening here." "♪ We got the neutron bomb We got the neutron bomb We got the neutron... ♪" "It wasn't obviously about the money." "It was about having a fuckin' good time." "A really unusual, weirdsetting." "Let's find old places downtown, throw our own parties." "It was just like a wild urban experience." "♪ We got neutron bomb!" "Wegotthe neutron...♪" "It was honest, bold faced, musical passion." "It was one of the most magical times ever." "This movement of life andmusicand attitude." "You know, it was electric man." "BOB:" "I mean at that point, allof LosAngelesreally wasfromHighlandtoGower , and from Franklin toFountain." "I mean that was basically whereeveryoneinthat  musicalcommunitylived." "It's funny how youjustkindafind  yourpeople." "KIEDIS:" "When you're that young and you're that poor..." "And you have that few resources,yougowherevr thewindtakesyou." "And one day that wind took me to Bob Forrest." "Are you gonna keep going?" "I think you should stop now." "(LAUGHS)" "The story is that Flea and I were walking down" "Hollywood Boulevard homeless because..." "I don't know that that's true." "Oh it's true." "This is what happened." "(LAUGHING)" "Anthony and I didn't have a place to stay at the time." "I don't know where I was sleeping, on someone's floor or something, and he said that we could stay at his house." "KIEDIS:" "And I had now knownhimfor about twominutes, and, uh, he was giving me a placeto live." "And it didn't take me long to say, "yeah," ""yeah, we'll be there." "We will be moving in with you shortly." ""Nice to meet you."" "Our mission was you know let'sgethigh, let's have fun, let'smeetgirls, let'slistentomusic." "Maybe we'll write a song in between all of that." "(SONG PLAYING)" "LOVE:" "Bob was always aroundFleaand Anthony, andFleaand Anthonywere .." "Always magnets for me and my girlfriends." "For whatever reason." "KIEDIS:" "Flea and I werestillkindofdriven to pursue this musical experiencethat wehadstarted." "And Bob was kind of..." "He hadn't really found his, his niche yet." "PERKINS:" "I wasn't sure ishe apoet, oryouknow,preaches?" "I didn't know what Bob was." "But he had great style." "He always had you know beautiful women around him." "He always had good musicians around him." "KIEDIS:" "One time we, uh, wetookadrivetosee  VanHalenplayinSanDieg, and on the way down there Bob was singing rock 'n' roll songs in the back seat." "And I remember thinking, "Jesus Christ this guy can actually carry a tune."" "Which is something that I certainly could not do at that time in my life." "And uh, and I was thinking that's, that's..." "You know he could do something with that." "I always wanted to be a writer." "'Cause I thought you know I had a pimply face and I was kinda nerdy and I always had friends that were musicians and they..." "Musicians just didn't looklikeme." "WEISS:" "I'd had my drum set aboutthreemonthsbefore TheloniousMonsterstarted." "You know the thing, there's like me, Bob," "Anthony and Flea used to go out drinking all the time." "And we'd usually end up thenightout infrontof wherewe were drunk and singing together." "And so then I was like, " Okay,I havearockban," ""I'll make thatguythe singe"" "You know in the beginning, it was, uh," "Pete Weiss, Chris, Bob andmyself." "And then we added BillStobaugh,who Ithik  lookedamazing." "Tall, skinny guy withglasses." "And I think K.K. was the fourthguitarplayer,Imen  notthefourthinline,  the fourth guitar player to be in the band." "There were seven people in the band." "They were just so freaky." "I mean you would just think, so crazy, and they all wore glasses you know." "They were a real collective of oddballs." "HUCK:" "And then Dix Denney wasthefirstnon-glasses playingmemberoftheba." "FLEA:" "And that was like a big coupwhentheygotDix." "Dix was a, you know a real musician." "HUCK:" "Dix had been in TheWeirdosand he'spart of a punkrockroyalty, and I said to Bob," ""Has he ever seen us play before?"" "I liked his enthusiasm." "For a bunch of guys just saying, "let's, let's start a band." ""We don't care what happens."" "HUCK:" "For somebody toseethisband  forthefirsttime , which sort of looked looser-ish,nerdy, and then come on stage andplaylikethis , bluesy, blistering garagerock." "(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)" "♪ Well, I went tothesupermarket togetsomeaspirin" "♪ Because my head was hurting fromacombination ofheroinand gin" "♪ Well, there was a n intheparkinglot" "♪ He was doing somepeculiarfishing" "♪ He had a rod andhe hadareel ♪" "Their live shows were just real funny and real wild and..." "It was the gnarliest show I'd ever seen dude." "It was rowdy as fuck." "The angst was there." "The like inter-band squabbling was there." "The drugs were there." "And Bob was just like this out of control alcoholic drunken maniac." "MOORE:" "And he danced andsanghis ass rightof theedgeofthestage ." "That was the funniest shit I ever saw." "Like, "whoa, look at that shit!"" "That's punk rock dude." "(LAUGHING)" "GUREWITZ:" "The singing was outof control,and his pitch wassuspectattimes." "But he just had sort of a wild abandon and a lot of soul." "He was like one of the soulful-est white boys that I knew." "HUCK:" "We had written foursongs, and so we decided we're gonna make a record." "Or at least a demo." "Pete, can you hear me?" "I just wanna tell you one thing, Pete, before you play the song and it's gonna be recorded forever." "You're a bad homo and you sucked my cock." "ENGINEER:" "Thelonious Monster, take one, you're rolling." "HUCK:" "It was just like heywe 'rehaving a recordingsession." "Everybody come andgetdrunk andFleaistheproducer." "Everyone looks like they'reabout12yearsold." "Andtheyalmostare." "I'm very happy." "All my friends will come in and drink beer with me." "♪ Well, I heard a lotof peoplesay" "♪ You know I heard it againjustthe otherday" "♪ You know I'm talking aboutthisunnaturalfrek" "♪ We're talking inalanguagenooneelse canspeakwell♪" "FLEA:" "I remember when theymadetheir firstrecordings, being "Fuck, this sounds really good."" "WEISS:" "All of a sudden peopleheardthis demo tape we made andwe 'relike," ""Oh, my God, they're actually playing songs."" "It's not just noise andjumpingaround andbreakingshit." "HUCK:" "Maybe six months afterthat this deal was worked out to record this record with Epitaph." "You know I was barely a label." "I was just a guy..." "I had a desk job at a record importer, so..." "But I was able to put out records." "I had, uh, two demos that I wasconsideringsigning," "Thelonious Monster, andJane'sAddiction." "I liked the Monster better 'causetheywere morepunk." "You know." "Of course the Jane's Addiction album that I passed on is the one that went on to sell a million copies, so... (LAUGHING)" "GUREWITZ:" "They became sortof aphenomenon oncollegeradio." "And it was a critical succes." "Criticslovedthe record." "BOB:" "So the first Thelonious Monster album came out and in thHerald Examiner, they said it was the modern punkrockversionof ExileonMainStreet." "I read it at the Denny's right down the street here." "I was going to work, working on a truck loading furniture." "I was like, "Oh, my God," ""Exile on Main Street," and talked about the New York Dolls and all this stuff and I was like..." "Well, I'll be quitting my job today obviously." "(LAUGHING)" "♪ Well, they're creating, well, they're creating a monster" "MAN 1:" "Watch your glasses." "MAN 2:" "Is that good?" "Fuckin' A, man, totally." "HUCK:" "Everyone looks so innocent." "YouknowIjust feellike"oh ,lookatthoe" ""poor little guys totally unaware of the hardships about to befall them."" "BOB:" "When I moved to, toHollywood,Iwasonly,  but I started working andthenDJ-ing, then I got into coke and crystal meth and, you know, felt good about myself." "Felt good about the world." "And then I had always jut likefromwhenIwas lite" "I was fascinated withLennyBruce." "And I always wanted to shoot drugs." "I knew that was like a, a vehicle that people went down and interesting people went downandIalwayswanted toshootdrugs but I never really came in contactwithanybody." "And then I met Top Jimmy." "Top Jimmy was this guy thatIjustidolized." "And I knew he shot heroi." "Top Jimmy was a..." "Oh, my God." "I had no idea this was gonna be like this." "Um..." "Top Jimmy was like a blues musicianhereintown ." "He was an important figure that never really got to be big but was mythical herein town." "(SONG PLAYING)" "MORRIS:" "Top Jimmy was oneof thegreatestcharactes in the history of music inLosAngeles." "And he also..." "Worked at Top Tacos." "♪ Oh, Jimmy" "BOB:" "I was about 21." "AndIwantedto reallytryit." "So the first time I didheroin" "I finally had been workingon TopJimmy togetmesome ." "And he finally got in my cr andthenwewent back  tohishouse." "He said come inside andhe gavememyheroin." "He already had a spoon onhiscoffeetable and he had a syringe." "Hepulleditout and he started mixing itp andlightingit." "And I was watching h." "And then he looked atme andhegoes , " Don'tyouhaveapoint?"" "And I was like, um..." "I don't think so." "And he goes, " Youeverdonethisbefo "" "And I was like, " Yeah,I 'vedoneit alo"" "And he said, "You could use my point after I'm done."" "And then I realized inthatmoment thatthepointwasa needl ." "and I was trying to watch him very carefully as to what he did." "So I started tearing it t andputtingitinthespn and put water in it, andthenlit it." "But I wasn't shaking itaroundlike..." "And he finally looked atme andhegoes ," ""You've never done thisbefore,haveyou? "" "Then I go, " Wellnot,notshotit."" "And so he said, " Givemethat"and heju, " Putyourarmout ."" "And he shot me up, and I just went "whoa."" "It was quite an experien." "Beyondtheworldofworr." "And I knew from that day that I should never do that stuff again." "Once you get rolling, I don'tthinkyou can stopi." "And let's face it, themusicbusiness, and playing music foraliving, and making good money andhavingjusttodo  nothingallday doesn'thelp ." "MAN:" "Right now..." "Speak." "Okay, uh, take 8." "WOMAN:" "Action!" "BOB:" "Action, did you say?" "WOMAN:" "Yeah." "Hi, my name's Bob and I used to be like a former schmuck sort of, you know." "Ow." "God." "I was not the, you know I wasn't doing that good of a thing and then I formed a band, and look, girls hang out at my doorstep now." "I got lots of money, tons of drugs." "I can drink anytime I want." "No one bothers me." "It's a beautiful thing, I'm telling you." "And then..." "Look at this." "The Hollywood Hills is in the backdrop." "Come on, come on into my house." "HUCK:" "It pretty much became Bob'sbandprettyquickl." "I remember Thelonious Monster got a huge write-up in theLA Times by Hilburn." "I liked Bob's band." "I really truly did because I liked Bob's lyrics." "He reminded me of sort of WoodyGuthrie, Dylan-esque." "HUCK:" "You know all of us hadinputmusically but Bob made up allthelyrics,andtheywere allabouthis life and kind of his problems." "♪ Well I never paid no rt andIneverpaid  notelephonebill" "♪ And I ain't never had a jobandI'm glad andIhopeInever will♪" "FISHER:" "One of the most interestingthingsaboutb is his ability to take the mundane and spin it into like a great song." "FLEA:" "The lyrics were so free, and a lot of like you know the songs would be like what happened to him the day before." "(BOB SINGING)" "This whole thing is about his life is an open book and everything's out on the table and all his dirty laundry on display." "Slowly like this started to take off as like a theme, you know, and then he would just saythingsthathad happenedto him." "And I went to jail for bounced checks." "When I was 18 I wrote a check to Vons for $89 and another one to a shoe store for $36, and got caught drunk at Disneyland and they looked for warrants and they found out that I had bounced checks and they put me in county jail." "And the guys kept beating me up going, "What are you," ""Buddy Holly or you're Sid Vicious or what?"" "(ALL LAUGHING)" "AVERY:" "He was just beinghim." "There was no sense thattheirshowwas..." "A performance." "Their life sort of spilled on the stage and then it spilled back offstage." "Somebody dropped out at that end part." "Somebody fucked up." "Has anybody got any heroin for sale in the audience, please?" "Like $20 bag of heroin please so he can snort or smoke." "And I know no one hangs out here but people who thinks they can sell dope to somebody else so, come right over here behind the speaker, no one will know." "You have no idea what it was like." "There were drugs everywhere in LA in the 1980s." "I mean it was just free-for-alls." "Of every drug imaginable." "Mostly you know, mostly heroin." "LOVE:" "It was so important in1987,'86 ,LA,  to be a junkie." "It was so fucking important." "It was so de rigueur." "BOB:" "In 1986 I went to my firsttreatmenttostop  drinkingandtakingdrug ." "And I remember I didn'tknowwhat withdrawalwasatall." "And I was sick, I had diarrhea,Iwas vomiting, mybodyached." "The very firstcounselorIhadwas likethishippiewoman, and who tried to tell you thatyouweregood , youknow,lifewasa joy  and if you just had thefreedomofsobriety you could you know dance inthetulipsandallthis reallyhippiecrazyshit ." "And I was still in my punkrockrage, youknowIwasjustlike," ""Are you fucking kidding?" "I 'dratherbe dead."" "DJ:" "There you go, TheloniousMonsteronKROQ  and Bob the lead singer in studio with us, our guest Love Doctor." "You know Louis asked me to ask you this, you guys always have a different group of people playing with you don't you?" "People quit, I don't know, we just get in fights and we're like a volatile real rock 'n' roll band I think." "You're gonna like the next segment of the show with Dr. Drew, it's our medical doctor." "♪ Blur the line..." "Oh no not yet." "Not yet Bob, here's our medical doctor Dr. Drew to take away the segment." "All right, why don't we see what the listeners have to talk about." "This is Valley too high?" "Skye." "Okay, you're on." "Okay um, my really gd friendleftschoolat Christmasvacation, because she was really depressedandeverything and she was going to stay atthishospital." "Mm-hmm." "And I just found out thatit 'sbecause she's been addicted tococainefor two years." "Mm-hmm." "And I don't know what to do." "ShouldItellherthatI know  andtryand help..." "Well most likely if she's been through a program right now, she's not gonna be the same person that you talked to two months ago." "But just understand that she's your friend, you know." "And, and be honest with her and talk to her." "Drugs are a nasty thing that people hold back and hide and lie about." "I've had a real problem with it myself and..." "Have you been through a program at all?" "Yeah two different times." "Uh-huh." "I think there's a career for you Bob in medicine." "(LAUGHING)" "I thought you were gonna ask me about my album and I was gonna go home." "Let's play some music!" "Do you ever play music on the air?" "Yeah, we'll play Sammy Hagar Weekend." "♪ Well, it's a Sammy Hagar weekend" "♪ It's a Sammy Hagar stateof mind♪" "The funniest thing about rock music, and every band will tell you, is that the one song that they weren't gonna record becomes probably their song with the greatest notoriety." "♪ We got ourMetallicaT-shirs" "♪ Got a little tinybabymustache Gota... ♪ Jacked-up Camaro" "♪ We're sitting in the parkig lotat AnaheimStadium" "♪ Drinking beer, smokig pot,snortingcoke" "♪ And then we drive, wedriveover55,yeah" "♪ 'Cause it's a SammyHagarweekend" "♪ And it's a big man's day" "SCHLOSS:" "Thelonious Monster was a hodge-podge of different mugs, personalities." "It's a band of misfits." "It was a revolving door." "MAN:" "Whoever wanted to play withus at thetimewould playwithus." "It was like Mike Martt's goingon tourwithus." "Oka." "I started touring with Thelonious Monster probably '86 I think." "'Cause Rob Graves wasin theband." "Rob Graves was mind boggling, and just the most beautiful cat." "It was fun." "It's like a traveling circus." "BOB:" "We're all the way to CBGB in goddamn New York City." "Rock 'n' Roll Hoochie Koo dude." "When they came to New York it was like Sodom and Gomorrah." "It was like, you know, I mean theminutetheycame through thatbridgeorthat tunnel." "First the gig, thenpartyout ." "And that was the golden year I believe of the Monster boys." "You know we became a youknowfixtureLAband." "And there came a time that like Thelonious Monster was the place to be." "♪ If there's one kind of favorI'llask ofyou" "♪ There's one kind of far I 'llaskyou♪" "You know Bob just has this passion in the way he sings and the way he performs, that um, I don't know he's just, he can just conjure up this pain." "FLEA:" "When something like you'regoingthrough, what you're singing about at the moment that you're singing it, it's actually your life." "You know you can really sing it with a lot of conviction you know." "(SINGING)" "MULLEN:" "You'd see this fellow onstagewho lookedfairly obviouslyin pain, and then as the music you know would start to kick in you would see this person transcending the pain." "♪ Well did you ever hearthat...♪" "FRUSCIANTE:" "So exciting." "You could feel that hewasinside youknow pulling at the heartstrings ofeverybodywho was  intheroomyouknow." "Bob really just seemed like a god to me you know." "At Raji's, Bob was the master of ceremonies, he was the center of attention." "A friend of mine used to, this guy Greg Linbord, he used to uh do a lot of drugs and he called a friend of mine on a Thursday night and said" ""Man, I found the ultimate high."" "He goes, "you load up a syringe of cocaine and then," ""and then you get a hit of freebase." ""You do the hit of freebase when you're ears stop ringing from the cocaine freebase," ""you shoot the cocaine into your arm to get a double high."" "Then on a Saturday night, this was Thursday night he told my friend Eric this, on Saturday night he OD'd and he's got a brain hemorrhage, his brain exploded until his blood came out his ears and his eyeballs and he died." "♪ When my heart stops beating,andmyhands turncold,Lord" "♪ When my heart stops beating and my hands turn cold, Lord ♪" "BOB:" "I remember turning to Dixforhis solo, andjustlookingatPete and knowing how great we were." "♪ And I believe in whattheBible" "♪ I believe in whattheBibletold" "♪ And there's one kind favr I 'llaskof you♪" "FLEA:" "For the time when that clickedit wasjustan amazingthing and it was as great as any rockbandI'veever seen ." "And it wasn't just great because they were our friends." "You know people loved 'em." "WEISS:" "The National Press was gettinghiptous, because they knew us inChicagoand Seattle andNewYork, and we could filljointsupBoston." "We were kinda on our way toamajorlabelrecordde, which in those days thatwaslike you've arrived and your life is gonna now be perfect." "You can go to your you kw yourmomoryour parents like, you know I mightbe ajunkie orwhatever but I'm on a major label record deal!" "BOB:" "When you live inasingleapartment for $400 a month, andyouowe three months'rent, and you're addicted to heroinandyou 'redrinkig allthetime, and here they're saying in the LA Times" "with a picture of you intheLATimes, this guy is a genius." "♪ Well, they keep telline thatIcouldwalk onwat♪" "They weren't even comparing usto theChiliPeppers orto SoulAsylumorstuff , they were comparing me to JohnLennonand Bob Dylan and it was like, areyoufuckingkidding?" "But then another part ofyougoes,goddamnrig!" "WEISS:" "And all of a sudden we'vegotnew management." "And you know I remembered themlikeyou know, we'regonnaget you adeal , blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." "And then, they got a deal." "They got a big RCA recorddeal." "BOB:" "And then right then all theserecordcompany peoplestartcomingaround, these managers andthesetypesofpeople tellingme whata, oh, you know the band's ruggedor thebandisthis or the drummer can't keep time or this or that." "WEISS:" "The whole idea was like,"Hey,Bob ,you don 't needthoseguys." ""You're the song writer, you'rethetalent." ""You know why don't u gooutand do yourownthing?"" "I mean all of a sudden he thought he didn't need Pete, he didn't need Chris Hansen, he didn't need Dix Denney, he didn't need Rob Graves." "You know, he needed those guys." "Those guys who understoodwhoBob was ." "SCHLOSS:" "As soon as somebody starts to, to believe the lies that people are telling 'em, whether they be good or bad, then they're destroyed and they become a parody of themselves." "WEISS:" "And then, no we are not getting on a major label," "Bob Forrest is getting on a major label." "We're getting nothing." "Listen to what he does whenhe 'sleftonhisown." "'Cause his solo record was so unlistenable." "Are you gonna get your hands on that?" "Play it for the people, that'd be awesome." "♪ What becomes ofthebrokenhearted...♪" "And we were just going what the hell is he thinking?" "Like, like you know like..." "He, he was, he was blinded by his own selfish ambition." "Money." "Mm-mm, a lot of money make a motherfucker do some crazy shit don't it." "♪ Grow all around" "♪ But for me theycometumblin'down .♪" "And I also got you know dragged in on it." "He had me come in and..." "And sing an outro to..." "What?" "Yeah, and it was just really embarrassing, and, uh... ♪ I saw him coming back justtheotherday" "♪ He said peace of mind isnotsohard to...♪" "Wasn't meant to be." "Bob has a, uh, an ability to be your best friend." "A loving and kind person." "But back then, he could stab you in the heart." "WEISS:" "Poor fuckin' Rob Graves, the guy got screwed in every band he'd ever been in." "Gun Club, Bags Eyes." "None of those bands ever made him a dime." "All of a sudden like youknowheworked hisassoff , he's in Thelonious Monster, andit 'slike, you know it's starting to take off." "Bob clips him." "When we all split up and uh went our own ways," "Rob Graves went, uhto NewYork anddiedofa drug overdos." "WEISS:" "That must've been '89he died." "Sure do miss Rob Graves, I'll tell you that much." "BOB:" "That's when I started lookingat my life inareallydeep way,  and wondering what the fk iswrongwithme?" "I can talk all this longt shitandsongwriterbuilt but as soon as somebody givesme $100,000," "I get nasty and irritable andI'llprettymuch fuck  anybodyunderthat, loved me and cared abot meandhelpedbuild somethingwithme." "You might have noticed that I'm not drinking beer right here and I feel, I don't know, I just I just stopped drinking beer so now I drink water but..." "This is the first time I've played in nine months..." "So I'm clearly and the first time I ever played without drinking so." "I'm very nervous." "(APPLAUSE)" "Sometimes he would disappear and I wouldn't see him and I didn't know." "I guess now I know he was in rehab, you know, most of the time." "BOB:" "That became the ritual." "I'd go to rehab andthenitjust started thisyearsand yearscyc." "You go somewhere for 30 days, and stay there kinda cloistered away from your family, fromyourtriggers, fromyourfriends, from drugs, from alcoh, fromeverything." "And in this environment somehow you learn enough to go right back home and just be fine." "Don't be applauding sobriety." "Same people that are applauding me now are the ones that go," ""Yeah, hey, you want some heroin?" "Yeah, come on."" "Now things are gonna get serious." "It's a serious fucking thing." "Today, today, uh, I have a son, that I..." "So he's three and a half years old and he wanted to see Dick Tracy." "KIEDIS:" "It was shocking." "Youknow,how can  people that are so reckless and kind of kids themselves, suddenly become parents and so..." "I mean at least to me it struck me as..." "Crazy." "Crazy." "(APPLAUSE)" "BOB:" "Everybody has different recollectionsof it ." "Certainly I wasn't present inhislifeatcertaintim." "Come like once a month or something,aweekenddad." "And she was gutsy to even lethimspendthenight  atmy house." "But I was scared." "I just always think of it intermsofmyparents, 'cause they're the ones that raised me." "They're the ones that fucked me up so bad, there's gotta be, you've gotta be definitive on who fucked you up in this country." "BOB:" "I had an idealchildhood,really." "Like I was the center ofthefamily'suniverse." "Everybody loved me." "I was born in 1961 on February15th,agoldenchd of Helen and Idriss Forres." "Seemed like theperfectfamily." "Therewasmymomandmy dad  and I had three older sistersandtheywere  much older but it just seemedlike" "I must've been an accidet orsomething." "So here's where we lived and where I grew up." "44652 Elkhorn Trail." "Do you hear the locust?" "We used to catch 'em." "You can catch 'em." "My dad put that basketball court up for me." "It's still up there." "Nancy Krohurst she used to live right here, oh, my goodness, only the cutest girl in the world." "I climbed that mountain when I was a kid." "It was like Huck Finn at120degrees." "It was a great place to grow up." "It really was." "I just think I'm two polarizations." "So, there's the part that grew up here that was all loved and nurtured and then there's the other part." "They started telling me when I got inquisitive that I was adopted because I started asking about their ages." "They were very, you know, they were 55 which back then, you didn't have 55 year old parents when you were eight years old, so I'd ask questions, then she told me I was adopted," "one time when we were driving in the car, and that made sense." "And then she started saying, "well, you're gonna meet your natural family some day" ""and we'll arrange it and you can go live with them,"" "once she started fighting..." "She said that to you?" "She started fighting with me, yeah." "So it just got weirderandweirder." "So then onChristmasEve night, whenI'm15yearsold..." "NANCY: 13." "BOB: 13 years old?" "NANCY:" "Mm-hmm." "BOB:" "They tell me." "NANCY:" "They didn't, I did." "BOB:" "Like everybody was arguingandfighting and Nancy in particur wasscreaming and my dad was screaming and my Aunty Maxine was screaming." "And then I heard it." ""It's time to tell him."" "And then Nancy came in andsatdownonthebed withme ." "And she goes, " Ihaveto tell yousomething."" "And she's like, " Bobby,I 'myourmothe"" "I was just angry kind of." "I knew it was true, butIdidn'twant  toknowany more." "I didn't ask any questions." "The whole thing just seemed soinsanetome." "NANCY:" "I was four orfivemonthspregnan." "I didn't even know whatit was." "BOB:" "You were 14, right?" "NANCY:" "Yeah." "My mom just freaked." "Just freaked that uh, "what are the neighbors gonna say?"" "And it was amazing that Dad looked over, my dad looked over to me and said, he said" ""if you are gonna keep him the only way you can is if we adopt him."" "BOB:" "Right after theytoldmethat , you know my parents weremy grandparents and that my sister wasmy mother, right after that, mydadgot reallysik and he had a stroke andthenhewasinacom." "And then he died and..." "It was like devastating." "In two years we literay wentfromlike living in this nice house inPalmSprings to like living inamobilehome  inthemiddleofnowhere." "And the old Bobby that lived out here that was really confident and nurtured well and kind of a force tobe reckonedwith, became kind of like this socialretard." "And right around then is whenIstarteddrinking." "I just loved alcohol." "Bacardi and Coke." "I used to drink it in high school," "I used to drink it all the time." "Drink it first thing in the morning." "It made me feel smart and all the kinda weirdns thatIwas feeling atthattime,16,17." "Alcohol made that all go away and I was back to Bobby in Palm Desert." "Ruling the universe." "It was a quick fix onabig problem." "Unfortunate thing is the problem that was created then is, is what I'm dealing with now," "40 years later, 35 years later." "Thelonious Monster wasagoodband foryears  andyears,right, and then we quit orbrokeup orpeopledied." "And then we didn't play." "And then I signed a solodealwithRCA and I got a pile of money." "Got$385,000." "WEISS:" "Whether we were pissed atwhathad gonedown  ornot, it had come and gone it'dbeensolong ." "You know he'd spent I guess $450,000 that RCA had given him, to no great end and, uh, we had $30,000 left so, uh, it was decided thatwe 'dwrite a fewmoresongs," "and we patched togetr a recordwhichbecame BeautifulMess." "And so the story continus overandoveragain." "This is Marton, ournewbassplayer." "Zander Schloss, ourleadguitar." "It was like, "Let's keep the party going."" "BOB:" "These are the good old days, Woody." "Right now are the good old fuckin' days." "Just us guys with blond hair." "With Bobby Forrest." "Thelonious Monster's making history, baby!" "MULLEN:" "So it's back to TheloniousMonster." "And meanwhile all those guys straightened up." "They was with..." "They're all clean, they're sober." "It's the new clean Thelonious." "Your sobriety has played a big part in this band, and the record..." "Yes!" "Yes!" "...and so Bob is, is doing well for those of you who have been concerned." "I'm doing better." "I'll be checking in with you guys very often on this trip and you will have a fantastic voyage across America." "♪ Well, my friends, they'reimportanttome" "♪ Some more than anyfamilyeverhasbeen" "♪ They're the ones thatbailmeoutofjal" "♪ They're the ones thatpickmeup...♪" "I tell you, after that record and that lineup, we were playing somegoodshows." "♪ Blood is thicker than water" "♪ Oh, yeah, bloodis thickerthanwater" "♪ And this is what they y" "♪ Ah, this is whattheysay ,yeah" "♪ But I don't know" "MAN:" "We are in Montreal, and uh, that's just a little something a friend of ours happened to want to give us." "Pharmaceutical huh, Rich?" "That's what it says." "MAN:" "Is that what it says?" "No preservatives." "MAN:" "No preservatives?" "I need another hit of morphine." "MAN:" "Ladies and gentlemen, he's breaking the sobriety." "No, I was just smoking a cigarette." "MAN:" "You're breaking the sobriety dude." "You couldn't really be in that environment and be a sober person." "As you can see, ladies and gentlemen," "I can barely hold a camera." "So, there." "MULLEN:" "And then it's thewholedominoeffect, and then before you know it the whole band is all strung out again." "MAN:" "What are you doing, Woody?" "I'm just helping, helping everybody out." "MAN:" "Are you helping everybody out?" "Anesthetizing myself so that everyone can relax." "MAN:" "Dude, we can deal with it." "BOB:" "When I wrote the firstcoupleofalbus it seemed like I was outof controlondrug ," "I was not." "I wasnowherenear whatwasgonnahappe." "BURNETT:" "Things began to unravel, primarily due to the drug use." "You know what this thing about Dan Quayle, how does a draft-dodging motherfucker like him tell other people to go out and die in a war?" "Figure that out." "He's a motherfucking lying piece of shit." "You know I'd be back there saying shut the fuck up." "You know let's play a goddamn song." "No one wants to hear you fuckin' flap your lips the whole night." "So anyways, I'll tell you one thing and I'll tell you two things," "I'll tell you four things and I'll tell you eight things." "'Cause telling people things is one of my favorite things to do." "There was always a lot of tension between Pete and Bob." "Shut up." "You don't know the changes, you're totally lame, you fucked it up." "I did not fuck it up!" "Bullshit." "No you sing it once..." "You sing the chorus once, whatever, there's too much bass in the front monitor up here." "Let's go with something we know." "Let's go with, uh..." "Uh..." "BURNETT:" "They often disagreed aboutthings, and when you're doing drugs and drinking, those disagreements can get pretty well embellished." "MAN:" "This is what's going on." "I'm sitting on the bus, that's why it's shaking." "Chris is standing in front of the Toronto Hotel explaining to Roger and George Bob's demands, why he won't leave the Toronto Hotel and why he wanted to quit show business." "He'd go spend his money at the first, uh, truck stop we'd get to, and then he'd spend his per diem and now he can't eat nor buy beer so unless he gets some money and, you know..." "He felt entitled thateverything, youknowanyone," ""He's the lead singer." ""I'm the leader of the ban," ""so I need my money, orIneedmybeer. "" "MAN 1:" "Let's shush about it." "MAN 2:" "I think Bob looks really cool right now." "A great look for Woodrow." "Bob, I love you." "MAN:" "I love you." "You're joking yourself." "He was one of the largest assholes ever to walk the planet." "The most selfish, baby, "sell you out", you know, "steal what you got", one of the, you know, horrible, horrible stuff." "You know." "I'm talking tempertantrums,crying." "Pete would get up off the drum riser and, and take his floor tom and smash it over Bob's head. (LAUGHS)" "MULLEN:" "He was just too..." "Self-destructive." "No band had more chances." "I never saw any other band oractthatgotopportunity giftwrapped." "You know handed here, and every time Bob would make sure, you know to do the...the correct punk rock thing which was to shoot yourself in the foot." "Hi, I'm Kurt Loder, this is the Day In Rock." "During a show at the 9 :30Clubin WashingtonDC onSeptember25th," "Bob Forrest of the LosAngelesband TheloniousMonster is alleged to have told theaudience,quote," ""Instead of re-electing President Bush, we should murder him."" "Forrest denied makingthestatement asalleged, although he's vague aboutwhatever heactuallydid say ." "Think of what would happen if you killed George Bush." "You'd be famous." "You'd have..." "You could write a book and make some money." "And you'd be a hero to myself and the band." "Finally what happens ifyoudon 'tknowthewords  totheNationalAnthem, and you try to fake it?" "Well you make a fool ofyourself." "That's what happenedo singerBobForrest of the group Thelonious Monster at the Sports Arena last night." "We join Mr. Forrest, alreadylostinprogress." "♪ Whose broad stripes andbrightstars...♪" "(INDISTINCT)" "The funny thing is seeing him before the gig, you know." "How you doing, Bob?" "(MIMICKING) "Oh, well, I'm pretty good," ""I don't know it looks pretty scary out there." He had like," ""I don't know." He had like two giant beers and his eyes are pinned and he's with Frenchie who was his fucking heroin dealer." "Capital recording artist Thelonious Monster." "That's how they announced it." "I remember them saying that." "♪ For the land of the free" "Let's start up again." "♪ For the land of the free" "♪ And the home of the brave" "(CROWD BOOING)" "That was painful." "Where's Roseanne when you need her, huh?" "Oh, man." "Oh, that was painful." "It didn't surprise me, it didn't shock me, it didn't even faze me." "I was like, well, he'll just leave and he probably won't even remember that that happened, you know, in a couple of days." "He'll be off, you know on the next adventure or whatever." "(SPEAKING DUTCH)" "(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)" "FLEA:" "Bob fucked up TheloniousMonster." "They had it all going in every way and he really turned his back on ' em and fucked the whole thing up." "♪ I've wanted tokillmyself" "♪ But I've always been tooscared" "♪ My life is like sidewaysrain swirlingaroundinthear" "♪ I've been searching mostof my life foranythingtobelievein♪" "WEISS:" "That was basically theendofit." "'Cause everybody's just doingit to getloaded and it's just getting worse and worse and worse and you know, there was no reason to continue." "♪ Take it anymore" "♪ Please somebody help me" "♪ I never wanted help befoe" "♪ Please somebody help me" "♪ Please somebody help me" "BOB:" "People were fed up, I was just on a march to die with drugs, but I knew that if I could stop the drugs, everything would be all right." "At nighttime you can't see people sitting on those steps and I sat there and shot heroin and OD'd." "I woke up aboutfourhourslater andit wasraining." "And I thought," ""Holy God in heaven." ""How did I get here?" Like, I started out a nice middle class kid," "I moved to Hollywood, I gotto be apartofths greatmusiccommunityan, and I was homeless andtoothless." "I weighed about 120 pounds." "And I was living down here inthegutter." "Pretty much most people, you know, I think thought I wasgonnadie ." "You know, because I didn't have the will anymore to go to rehab and just tough it out through the detox process." "I didn't have it." "I tried it so many times and I couldn't even stay..." "Got to a point where I couldn't even stay six hours." "I'd left Hazelden rehab." "It was the third time I hadbeenthere, and I had left 'causeIgot ina fight withoneofthecounselors." "I had money and I wentto looktobuy someheroinand coke." "And I found an old guy togetmesome drugs and eighth floor of some, youknow,HUD  housingproject." "I get up there, hestartsshootingup andIjustsitthere waiting." "He did his and then I pointedto hisneedle and I said, " CanI usethat?" Andhe goes," ""Oh, you want to use that?" "I gottheHIV onme."" ""Well, where do you get a needlearoundhere?"" "And it was, like, 2 :00inthemorning, 3 :00inthemorning, he goes, "You don't."" "I was like, " No,I 'llusethat."" "And I went in the kitchen andhe hadsome dishwashingsoap." "I put it in a pan, putalot ofsoap  inthereand water." "And I put it on the, onthestove and I just pushed the nee inandout ,inandout to what I thought was probably the safest amount of soap and water to use, clean out anHIV-infectedneedle andIusedit." "That's Bob running on empty." "You know and hewaslikethat  formany,manyyears, and it was really reallyworrisome." "CAREY:" "I heard a rumor thatBobForrest andKeithMorriswere um, working like next door atMillie's." "And so I just walked down there for breakfast one day and sure enough there's Bob and Keith, you know, bussing tables and taking orders." "MORRIS:" "The Circle Jerks weren'tdoinganything." "We were in some kind of a lull." "So we worked here." "We worked with a bunchof ourfriends." "It was a cool littlecommunity." "Yes, we worked at Millie's together." "Me, Bob and Keith." "Bob was my dish washer," "I was the waitress andcashier and Keith Morris wasmy busboy." "MORRIS:" "People are thinking," ""Oh, they're not supposed tobe workingthere." ""What the fuck is up with that,"" "and it's like, "Hey," ""I get..." "I get two free meals a day." ""Some of the greatest food in,youknow," ""some of the best food inLosAngeles."" "PEK:" "It was kind of um, kind of a halfway house toformerrockstars who maybe had just gotten out of rehab and maybe needed a job." "I was wanting to quit drugs and then I got arrested and they made me quit." "(WOMAN SPEAKING)" "And..." "Well, I was scoring drugs in a borrowed vehicle." "And I had not returned for a couple of weeks." "And so it was reportedstolen." "And then they ran my record andIhad ,like, nineoutstandingwarrants, some of them felonies." "I don't know how I piled up so much trouble." "And I got arrested." "And then jail made me stopthedrugs." "(LAUGHING) Fact of the matter is the county jail don't give a fuck." "They just put you in a cell and you poo your pants and you, and you don't sleep and you're sweating and you feel like you're gonna die." "You know, you just gotta go through what you gotta go through, but the LAPD helped me out a lot." "'Cause I don't know that Anthony or anybody talking to me was gonna stop me." "So anyway so Bob was good, he didn't do drugs while he was dish washing at Millie's." "He was, however, mortified when people would come in the back room and say like," ""Wow, man, aren't you Bob Forrest?"" "Which is a pretty humbling experience." "BOB:" "I was working in thekitchenatMillie's and Gwen Stefani came in andshesaid," ""Bob?" AndthenIsaid ,"Yeah?"" "And she said, " Iusedto go seeyou  whenIwas akid. "" "And it was just the weirdest moment." "I'm working as a dish washer in a restaurant and she was doing a photo session for the New York Times Magazin." "I got my apron on andI'mcoveredin (LAUGHS)dirt." "But working at Millie's then was like a step up for me. (LAUGHS)" "I was sober and working." "This is my son." "Elijah." "Like I moved in with him when he had less than a year straight." "'Cause I wanted to be a perfect dad now and make up for all the lost time." "ELIJAH:" "There was this period whereIwas finally gettingto knowmydad" "It was really exciting and then I had a really awesome step-mom." "My dad and Max were together." "It was Bob and Max against the world till the wheels fell off." "I mean it was, it was us raising a kid." "ELIJAH:" "When I was younger itwasreallyjust ..." "I never really got madat him 'cause I didn't know whatwasgoingon." "But I just kind of made me sad thathe wasneveraround, but now it's like he'sreally,really,really helpedme alot ." "And now I'm the one that he worries about." "What a great kid." "What an amazing thing to have, to have been there tohelpshapehim and guide him intherightdirection." "BOB:" "The humble functionallifewas work." "I get up in the morning, I driveElijahtoschool, I goto work," "I make money." "Andthengohome ," "I take a shower, I go to AA," "I come home." "Very simple life." "SMITH:" "He started to become very,veryproductive musically." "I remember he was writing songs constantly." "BOB:" "I would just comehomehere withthatstickeredguitr and you know write songs and I broke through a lotof different subjectmatter." "♪ Heroin" "♪ Heroin" "♪ And cocaine" "♪ And cocaine" "♪ Well, I loved them both" "♪ But they took my life" "♪ They took my friends" "♪ They won't give 'em bak" "♪ But I want 'em back" "♪ Oh, give 'em back now" "He had just been severely humbled." "Um, and I think that makes for better music." "BOB:" "I always think I had somuchdamagefrom  CharlesBukowski and Jim Morrison and,youknow," "I thought take alcohol awayfromCharlesBukows, who is he?" "You know." "What I failed to see was he's a great writer, great poet." "Interesting man." "You know, it wasn't the alcohol." "That's what I came to learn after all of this." "♪ But where has it got me 35yearsold now" "♪ I'm washing dishes inarestaurant♪" "KIEDIS:" "It wasn't like thedrugsand the alcohol and the self-destructive behavior was the creative fuel for him." "You know, the creative fuel was his connection to the universe." "BOB:" "There was one song ofredemptioncalleMemphis that I wrote about Anthony actuallytryingtogetsob." "And I thought where could he go to start a new beginning, and just go down to Memphis and get out of LA, get out of New York, get out of music and go save his own life." "♪ If I can just makeit downtoMemphis," "♪ All my troubles willgo away" "♪ If I can getdowntoMemphis maybeI'llbeokay ♪" "I ended up playing the sg liveon theradio, and then later on I gotthisletter from this guy thatwasinjail ." "♪ If I can get down toMemphis" "♪ Well, they've got a placeforme♪" "MEMPHIS:" "Dear Bob," ""I hope you will takethetime toreadthisletter." ""At the very least, I thinkyouwill findit interesting." ""It's 12:20 a.m." ""and I'm in a maximum securityfederalprison atUSPColemanI." ""Loveline just wentoffthe air ." ""I am a 49-year-old drugaddict nicknamedMemphis" ""who desperately wants togetbackthereoneda "" "♪ If I can get down toMemphis" "♪ Well, I'll be the king" "♪ They got a river" "♪ Runs right through thee" "♪ Well, maybe I 'lljusttakeaswim" "♪ If I can get down to Memphs it'llstartall overagain♪" "MEMPHIS:" ""Most of all my problems" ""are from my addictions toheroin." ""I never thought inamillionyearsthat itwouldturnoutlikethi." ""I was 38 years old beforeIwenttoprison," ""almost 12 years ago." ""I have no one else to write." ""I used all my friends u," ""and I lost my mom whenIwas stillusing." ""So when they played yoursongtonight," ""I burst into tears." ""It was the first time I criedin years." ""It was a very cleansingexperience." ""Thank you." ""Earlier tonight," ""I had made a noose," ""and was thinking ofendingmylife ." ""And now I'm flushing it downthesteeltoilet." ""Your song has broughtme hope." ""Thank you." ""You saved my life." ""By the grace of God," ""I will make it back to Memphis alive one day."" "♪ If I can just make it down to Memphis maybe I can pull through, Lord" "♪ If I can just makeit downtoMemphismaybe  I canpullthrough,yeah" "♪ Maybe I could pull throuh" "♪ Maybe I could pull throuh" "♪ Yeah I could pull through" "♪ I could pull through" "♪ Maybe I could pull throuh" "♪ Maybe I could pull throuh" "♪ Maybe I could pullthrough♪" "Simultaneously with realizing that maybe my music isn'tlikeAnthony's orPerry's?" "Mine seems to hit a certain type of person in a really deep way." "And that in learning that thenIalsolearned that the value of what you went through, it only really has value in sharing it with people that are going through that same exact thing." "I was about a year sober, and John had relapsed." "And I had been hearing about it and I knew it was a bigger deal thanit hadbeen inthepast." "I was at the end of my rope, because I didn't have any money or anywhere to live." "I had an infection in my mouth that would have spread to my brain and killed me within a couple of months, so I had no choice but to lose all my teeth and from that point I had to pretty much, like, swallow whole food," "you know, I would try to mash up food with my mouth, but it was all like swallowing whole chunks of food and stuff and not, not a pleasant time for me." "HAYNES:" "It was real shocking toseethe shape thatJohnwas in,  and Bob and I triedto getJohn into a rehab." "I had never seen anybody go so far as John did andum ," "Bob, Bob at the time was well acquainted with the recovery community." "BOB:" "I knew a lotaboutrehab." "By then I'd been to like20 of 'em." "FRUSCIANTE:" "So Bob wastryingtosetmeup so I could kick drug, kick heroin in a hospital without doing any AA stuff, 'cause he knew I had an aversion to the AA system." "BOB:" "In 1997 I walked into, uh,Musicians AssistanceProgram with John to get him hel." "It's like I didn't know whatit was," "I just knew that theyhelpedmusicians." "MAP, this is Buddy." "BOB:" "And we ended up inBuddyArnold'soffice." "Buddy Arnold was helping downandout musicians get free beds attreatmentcenters." "And John wasn't reallythinkingheshould goto reha(LAUGHS)" "Then Buddy convinced him togo , and he was, had a bed atLasEncinas in40 fuckin'minutes." "I had never in my life seensomethinglikethat ." "The Musicians Assistance Program was a nonprofit organization founded by a 70-something year old jazz artist and his wife." "Guy's name was Buddy Arnol." "He had been a junkie forabout35years." "Had gotten himself clean and decided to start this program." "What MAP did was get people in the music community straight, no questions asked." "There was no proselytizing or editorializing that drugs are bad." "It was like, if you wanted to get straight, we'll help get you straight, by a bunch of people who've already been junkies." "We know your, it's musicians helping musicians." "(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)" "Like most people introduced to Buddy" "I was immediately taken by him." "He was, hold on, I'm gonna get a smoke." "Marie can I have a smoke?" "He was an old jazz player." "And he came from that '30s heroin culture." "So he could actually speakto us ." "And it resonated, becausehe wasn't bullshitting." "BOB:" "You could goby thereany time and just hang out inhisofficeand he'dtellstoriesand.." "He shot dope withBillieHoliday." "I mean, that's about allyouneedtohavedone tohaveeveryone" "I know really listen to whatyougot tosay." "And I decided to volunteer there." "I was doing a lot." "I wasfundraising, I wasrunninggroups," "I was, like, bringingpeoplein." "And I just loved it." "I reallylovedit." "I loved beingaroundaddicts," "I loved being able todo therightthing." "The thing was youplayconcertsforthm andyouraisemoney, and then you have thispoolofmoney to, like, put people indrugtreatmentforfree and it was a really good thing since most of our friends are musicians." "And most of them are drug addicts." "(LAUGHS)" "WEILAND:" "You know, itdoesn'treallytake  thatmucheffort to get your little rock 'n' roll band together and put on a show." "I'm fortunate I've been abe topayfor myown, uh, youknowtreatment." "And all these people veryclosetomethat,  you know, don't have those means, and, uh, MAP has been very good to those people." "BOB:" "For the first year I workedthere, 400 people wentthroughtreatment." "For free." "What a fuckin' great job." "And I was good at it." "And Buddy recognized thatIwas goodatit , and he had taught me everythingandhow to talkwithpeople." "He used to always say, (MUTTERING)  "We want the shoulders to relax." ""Whatever you gotta do to make their shoulders relax."" "I was, like, very involved andnotbeingpaid ." "And all the while I wasworkingatMillie's and just building a life and getting sobriety and it's all clicking." "BERRY:" "In the middle of a reallybusyshift," "(PHONE RINGING) Bob would get thisphonecall from some guy who wanted to get sober, and so everything would stop." "The dishes would get stopped washing." "Salsa wouldn't be made, and there'd be a full restaurant with tables full and people wanting their food and..." "I'm back there going, "Bob, what are you doing?" ""I..." "I need this stuff," and he's like..." "He would hang up the phone and go," ""Saving lives, Iris, saving lives."" "GERSH:" "I think I was ataboardmeetingoneday and I mean, you know, howit is whenartists kinda just bare their soul and give everything they have and there was Bob in this room giving everything he had to like," ""If we're gonna do this, let'sdo thisright."" "This is how we're gonna do it." "You know and it was fantastic." "Bob has been in service since day one." "Since just about when he got clean." "There are so many musicians, especially around this town, who say they..." "They owe their lives to Bob Forrest." "Well, he's given up his life for the 12th step, essentially." "I mean, he's a martyr in some ways." "He could have, he could have, you know, he could have, he was a contender, in terms of music." "You know, he's a great songwriter, he's a giving, giving good soul." "Um, you have no idea how many times he's helped my family." "You know he's really, really sacrificed a lot for this." "And it's, it's, it's poignant, because he's given up any glory to deal with reallytraumatizedpeople." "ADLER:" "Even though everybodyelsewas doing, some people handle it okay andsomedon 't." "And I didn't." "That's what happened." "That'swhyIlost my, my, you know, my gig withmy band wasforthe drugs." "And I went off the deep end with that." "I was alone." "And I didn't know what to do." "I remember I was shootingup on thetoilet and I just remember coming to." "I was hitting my face on the bathroom floor, coming to." "And I saw a towel in front of me and I remember trying to reach for it to put it under my face." "And I go smashing my face on the floor." "And I had a seizure, and then I had a smallstroke." "WOMAN:" "And that didn't get you sober?" "No." "I would..." "I felt I would, at that time in my life I felt all alone." "I wanted to kill myself." "BOB:" "You know I like it whenan addictsays," ""Well what's the point ofbeingsober?"" "If you give them some bullshit line at that moment of truth, they're gonna, it's gonna affect their belief about what's possible or what, what life is really about." "And I'd just always get back to, "Look at how you're living." ""I don't really know how you're gonna live sober," ""but let's just look at howyou'reliving." ""Everybody's mad at you." ""You're physically ill all the time." ""You feel bad about yourself." ""You wanna die sometimes." ""I mean, and you're fighting to continue living that way." ""That's addiction in a nutshell."" "ADLER:" "Bob has a way of, of speaking to somebody withrespect and, and love." "He has been supporting me and helping me and..." "Given me so many chances to get myself together." "I'm not saying therewasn'trelapses 'causetherewas ." "But what Bob explained to me very basically is that's a part of getting sober." "It's just gonna happen." "BOB:" "One of my best friends said," ""Listen, Bob, you know," ""you're great at influencingjunkies togetwell," ""but that ain't chemicaldependency." ""That's like you andyourpersonality." ""MAP was designed byBuddy" ""who really doesn't dothingsbythebook," ""but there is a whole sciee ofchemicaldependency." ""And you need to knowaboutit. "" "RADIO HOST:" "Westwood One presents" "Dr. Drew Live." "Broadcasting live fromLosAngeles andacrossthe nation." "He's the real deal." "And he's on the air now." "DR.DREW:" "We  are, wearelive." "Joining me in the first hour is Bob Forrest." "He and I have worked..." "Ah, there he is." "Bob and I first met back in the, about mid '80s, I'd say." "BOB:" "Yeah, I think so." "Uh, Bob was in a band called Thelonious Monster." "He used to visit my show Lovelinas an on-air guest." "BOB:" "Intoxicated on-air guest." "Uh, intoxicated does not begin to describe what you were like." "(BOB LAUGHING)" "And then so fast forward about 10 years." "I assume Bob Forrest is dead." "I really did." "I just felt badly." "Just, you know, I didn't think there was any chance you would survive that." "And I, my first recollection of re-encountering you was giving a lecture for Bill Nye, the Science Guy." "BOB:" "Yeah, I was there at that." "DR. DREW:" "And it was a crazydocumentary that Bill Nye was doing onaddiction, and you were there intheaudienceasking thesegreatquestions and I thought, "Man, I knowthisguy , I knowthisguy ," ""I know this guy." (BOBLAUGHING)" "And uh, you introduced yourself and I couldn't believe it was you." "Couldn't believe it was the same person." "I was shocked." "Basically I just told him youcomewithme,please." "Please, please, please." "I could see the talent," "I could see what he had to offer." "It was, when somebody has what he has, it's obvious." "And I brought him down her." "Immediately, you know, threwhimintothemix." "I was anxious to have him asinvolvedaswecould  possiblygethim ." "Because important people on a chemical dependency team really create the, the ethos and the feel and the, and the functioning of the unit and so I wanted him tobe thatguy ." "BOB:" "Drew tried to educate me on,on chemical dependencytheories and modalities and howyoutreatthesethin." "He said you need to learn every aspect of it." "This is, this is the education of Bob Forrest." "This is whole process that we're going through here." "BOB:" "It's a threefold disease." "It's psychological andspiritual andphysical." "See I had a different addiction." "My addiction was it's cool to be high." "The addicts I'm dealing with today don't think it's cool to be high." "They think they're follog a doctor'sprescription or that they're psychologically damaged through trauma, and they have to do this." "It's a different kind of rationale." "from being somebody who had a solid program of recovery who was just trying tobe of assistance, to somebody who has a verysophisticated understanding of the complexities ofneurobiological, psychiatric, and addiction elements inthisdisease." "I was so idealistic about our mission and about helping people." "But then there's thisothercomponent where if I saw allthebullshit on the recovery industry thatIdon 'tlike." "The fact of the matter is, it's as corrupted as the used car business." "SPRAGUE:" "The recovery industry haschangedalot." "And I think like any other industry, it gets taken over by a machine that wants to make money." "BOB:" "Once the HMO system started cutting down on days allowed for treatment, all the revenue was starting to dry up and that's when most of the doctors thought we need to go to harm reduction." "Harm reduction is suboxoneandbenzodiazepe and ongoing use of that prescribedby doctors who know nothing aboutaddiction." "And calling that addictionmedicine." "SPRAGUE:" "And so what'shappenedis, is thepharmaceuticalcompanis have come up with ways tomakedrugaddicts havedrugs, and still be consideredsober." "The question is, if somebody wants to come to us that's been on suboxone, say for, like, three years like a friend of mine has..." "Ugh." "Uh, at 32 milligrams." "Oh, my God." "What I recommend is..." "What?" "...getting back on heroin for like a month." "Heroin is an easier drug to get off of than suboxone which is the replacement drug for heroin addicts." "Drug treatment in Americs changing, and it's already changed and most people just don't know it." "Four years ago, therewasan80/20split , where 80% of the people believedin abstinence-basd treatment." "Four years later, it's 20/80 the other way." "Where addictionologists, addictionspecialists, are now talking about youcanbesober onaddictivemedications." "But the main reason y anyof thisishappeg was because the recovery industry was unwilling to look at itself." "It has 95% failure rate." "And it has since its inception." "And it's never tried any new modality or any kind of psychology or life coaching or whatever." "It's never tried anything different." "Though it's been failing 95% of the time for 30 years." "SPRAGUE:" "Bob's just flipping out." "He's just going like nobody'sgettingcleanh." "You know and I'm like, "Yeah, I know."" "So he started talking about his philosophy with the administration." "DR. DREW:" "It's difficult for him because he's not a nurse and not a doctor and I could tell he was feeling upset by the way they were treating him." "You can't get that way with, with nurses and doctors, it's the military here." "You just carry out your orders, deal with the structure, don't take it personally." "SPRAGUE:" "He was just getting infightafterfight afterfightafterfight." "The administration didnotwanttoproduce, you know, a treatment cer thathadnodrugs, and I think he just, like threw his hands up and he was just like, "No."" "You know, "This is not what I agree with and I'm not gonna do this." ""I'm not gonna pretend likethisisokay ."" "And he just walked out andhe nevercameback ." "BOB:" "I know whatneedstobedone." "It's just like that facingthatfearof jumpingoffand doingit." "BERRY:" "Bob just..." "He cares." "It sounds really corny, but he really does." "He's opened up his life like, there was always somebody sleepingon hiscouch trying to get sober, eventhough theyweren'tsober and they were probably rippinghimoff ." "I'll always go "Well, that's gonna do, this could happen."" "I just think Bob misses that and he just goes," ""Well, I'm just gonna help this person."" "MULLEN:" "Yeah, and I've seen him giving five bucks to addicts to go stay on the bus, and then he's like pulling out and he's only got 10 bucks, and giving some kid his last 10 bucks." "I have a lot of respect for, for who he's turned himself into, you know, it's been a long road and hasn't been glamorous." "♪ Don't ever lived in, butIdohave faith" "♪ Love is the answer toaburningache ♪" "BOB: "It looks so soft and snuggly inside," Roo said." ""Just like Mama's pouch."" "Pouch." "BOB:" "Pouch." ""I wonder what kind of bird made it," Piglet said." ""It's awfully small." "I know," Roo said," ""It's a hummingbird." "They're the smallest birds of all."" "KIEDIS:" "He's one of thebestfriends I 'lleverhave." "He was like the least likely person to become the Phoenix who rises from, you know, a pile of shit." "But he has completely risen." "♪ And friends havecomeyou know andfriendshavegone" "♪ To throw your life awas sofuckin'wrong." "♪ The trick is to burn, burn,burn," "♪ But don't burn out" "Bob's a true friend." "He's my true friend." "You know, I know that I can call Bob no matter what I'm going through and I can talk to him about it and I don't have toeverworry aboutbeingjudged or being scared of making myself feel vulnerable around Bob or anything." "He's my true friend." "He always will be." "I love Bob." "♪ Well, here I stand" "♪ Bloodied and battled" "♪ Here I am" "♪ I'm still around" "WEISS:" "There was a certainpointintime  whenIwas stilloutthere ." "And what I knew was thatI'dbeinthis,  this constant state of misery for the rest of my life because that's just the way things are and you don't know that there's another way to do it." "But when you see theseexamples, everybody I came up with had turned the corner except for me." "I wanted what they had." "I wanted to be part of my circle of friends, and that's what happened." "That'showIturned myworldaround." "You know you're never gonna stop anybody from doing anything." "What you're gonna do is give hints to people of what's possible." "And what's possible is, even if you're a complete failure fuck-up drug addict, you can get sober andbecomepurposeful." "I mean that's..." "That's the message I thought would get out through this thing." "And that's an important message, way more important than how many records somebody sold." "♪ And the trick is to burn,burn,burn" "♪ But don't burn out" "♪ Burn, burn, burn" "♪ But don't burn out" "Well, you're just supposedto be ..." "Let your candle burn out and just give in or whatever and shuffle off?" "Fuck that." "The people that are mad for living need to stay mad for living the whole time." "WOMAN:" "Are you still mad for living?" "Oh, yeah." "♪ Well here I stand" "♪ Bloodied and battled" "♪ Well, here I am," "♪ I'm still around" "Yeah, awesome looking." "It's awesome." "Yeah, boy, this is gonna be bad-ass." "Okay, so it's called HollywoodRecoveryServi." "We're in the center of i." "Um, Drew is the addictionologyadviser." "Like a consultant." "And Shelly istheadministrator." "I'm Bob." "(LAUGHS)" "Fuckin' title." "I'm gonna do my own thin." "I'm gonna do it the way I thinkit needstobed,  the way I think it'llbe moresuccessful." "I'm gonna treat patients with dignity and love and compassion." "I'm gonna be honestwiththem." "if they don't like what I'm trying to help them accomplish." "If they fail or stumble oraredefiant," "I'm not gonna get intoargumentswiththem ." "I just wanna love and help andencourageand nurture and steer people inamorepositivedirecting intheirlife." "I mean, I got grandiose motherfuckin' plans for this." "This is gonna be punk rock." "Punk rock recovery." "♪ They tore down Ship's just like they tore down Tiny Naylor's" "♪ They'll tear down anytg inthistown" "♪ They'll do just about anything to squeeze an extra dime" "♪ They'll probably even selltheirown grandmoths" "♪ Ah, but Lena Horne stillsinStormyWeather" "♪ Yeah, things, they're , buttheycouldgetbetter" "♪ Yeah, things, they're , buttheycouldgetbetter" "♪ And I'm just waiting to e whichwaytogo" "♪ Yeah, I'm just waitingto see whichwaytogo♪" "You know I got kids now and I got my act together." "When I got out of rehab, Bob gave me those pants that are on the scarecrow back there." "I mean, he helped me, he helped them, get me into MAP." "You know, he was in tight with Buddy." "It's something that, you know..." "I want some cereal." "Okay, let's got get it." "So, yeah, when back in the '90s we were pretty whacked, (LAUGHS) to say the least." "And now," "I'm happy to say we're doing a lot better." "♪ Well, you can't hurt me 'causeI'mun-hurtable" "♪ And you can't scare me 'causeI'mun-shakable" "♪ And you can't touch me 'causeI'mun-reachable" "♪ And you can't get me 'causeI'mun-forgettable" "♪ I've decided I'm not going through it again" "♪ I made my mind up I 'mnotgonnatodoit an" "♪ Well, I've done things thatareunforgivable" "♪ I've made mistakes thatareirreversible" "♪ So please don't give it 'causeIcan 'ttakeit" "♪ I've made my bed now I 'mgonnalayinit" "♪ I've decided I'm not going through it again" "♪ Yeah, I made my mind up I 'mnotgonnadoitagain" "♪ Well, love and happiness areinconceivable" "♪ So don't love me 'causeI'munlovable" "♪ And don't tease me 'causeI'mun-temptable" "♪ And you can't be with me 'causeI'mun-bewithable" "♪ I've decided I'm not going through it again" "♪ I made my mind up I 'mnotgonnatodoit an" "♪ I've decided I'm not going through it again" "♪ Yeah, I made my mind up I 'mnotgonnadoitagai♪" "♪ I don't know why I keepwonderingwhy" "♪ Why is a waste ofthequestion" "♪ Yet people believe whattheywannabelieve" "♪ They do it, theydo it fornoreason" "♪ I am done with being rigt" "♪ Right and wrong haveno meaning" "♪ But the sky's neverbeensogood" "♪ And the sun's nevershinedsobright" "♪ And the magic isin youreyes" "♪ In your eyes, inyoureyes" "♪ I keep telling myself it'sgonnabeallright" "♪ Yeah, I keep telling mysf it'sgonnabeallright" "♪ I just keep telling myf it'sgonnabeallright" "♪ Be all right"