"Hello?" "Excuse me?" "Excuse me." " What's that?" " A boot." "What kind of boot is that?" "That is not even cute." "Yeah, well, right." "But you have, like, $700 worth of unpaid parking tickets, so... $700." "God, that's not even that bad." "I thought it would've been a lot more." "'cause i, like, park wherever I want." "Don't you even rember me?" "Did you sell me a slurpee this morning?" "What?" "No." "From high school..." "You sat behind me in english class." "You weren't so totallyice to me." "Well, I wasn't so totally nice to a lot of people, so that's not really like, a huge clue." "Did you used to have dandruff?" "Like, really bad?" "Yeah!" "Marjorie Zickland." "Great!" "Marlene." "So are you going to take the boot off now?" "Marjorie." "I said it like a second ago." "Geez, sensitive much?" "So are you going to take the boot off, or what?" "Kimberly Day has got a boot on her car." "And I'm a dandruff-free parking enforcement agent." "Stays on till you pay the tickets." "Burn." "Burn?" " What'd I ever do to you?" " A lot." "A lot of bad stuff." "Page 47 through 53 of my diary." "Forget about it." " Nice, nice trolley, lady." " I've got to go, 'cause I have a job." " So..." " Yuck." "Like I'd really be proud of that." "= 108 =- " Sacrifice "" "Sub VO:" "¤AkaZab¤" "Subs-Addicts' [Sub-Way.fr]" " So what're you going to do?" " I don't really have a choice, do i?" "You're going to have to pay the parking tickets." "Can't." "I don't have $700, Kim." "Yes, you do." "What about your stimulus check from president George W. Bush?" " We went to epcot with that." " Well, you're my husband." "And we got married for better and this is a worst, so you'll just have to figure something out." "I hate that weirdo Marjorie Zickland." "I hope all her dandruff comes back." " Marjorie Zickland from high school?" " She's the one who put the boot on." "She's like a parking maid with a Major'tude." "I think I like, painted a gnome with her in shop." " Maybe I can try and talk to her." " Thanks, Craigy." "Of course, anything for my mush bear." "A little kiss." "Hello, young people." " That's why I don't exercise." " Are you okay, Kath?" "No, I'm not okay." "I'm exhated." "I have a terrible, terrible case of insomnia." "God, how could a person not sleep?" "I could sleep right now." " It's hard for me not to sleep." " I don't know." "I just lie there for hours, and hours, and hours." "Sugar Snap, why didn't I think of this before?" " You should talk to Athena Scooberman." " You mean your Athena Scooberman?" " My Athena Scooberman." " Really?" "She's Phil's life coach and spiritual advisor." "She's the one that helped him lose all the weight." "She is a magical person." "True shaman." "Sha-woman." "Sha-person, let's be fair." "Why don't you just order some of those Pills they're always advertising on TV?" "Kath, you really should." "That TV woman's so hardcore asleep, that even her neighbor's dog, and irritating lawn mower don't wake her up." "I'm ordering you some right now." "I am comatose." "Nice hair." "Why is your car parked on the front lawn?" " It is?" " Yeah." "That's unusual." "If this is some neighbor hood kid's idea of a joke, it is not funny." "They moved the car on the lawn?" "Oh, my god." "That is hilarious!" "Well, give me your keys." "Where are they?" "I'll move it for you." "Wait a minute." "I have the keys." "Did you go somewhere last night?" " What happened?" " I don't know." "I think I went out." "But maybe I was just dreaming." "I don't know." "It's like I don't know what's real or what's a dream." "This is so odd." "Kath, you could've killed yourself." "Or somebody else." "That's it!" "Those pills are going in the garbage." "And you are going to take my Athena appointment today." "It's so nice to meet you." "How nice." " Phil." " Athena." "It's so nice to meet you." "Well, this is really..." "I mean, the two most important ladies in my life." "The lady who taught me how to love." "And the lady to whom I make it to." " You can come back in 55 minutes." " Okay." "Just leave you two to it." "You know what, my car is getting washed." "Is it okay if I just..." "Sit over there?" "I don't know, Phil." "Is it?" "I'm going to sit over there." "Great." "Great." "So, Kath." "I don't know how much Phil has told you about me, but I am a spiritual advisor." "Let's begin the journey of getting to know each other by listing three things that best describe us, okay?" "I'll go first." "Let's see... single, battling anger, stand-up comedienne." "Okay, my turn?" "All right..." "Sexual." "Multi-tasker, I can do a lot of... things at one time." "Gym junkie." "Phil's one and only, of course." "That's four." "Is that okay?" " To do four?" " I don't know, Kath." "Is it?" "Mar, Marjorie?" " I don't know if you rember me." " Oh, my god." " Oh, my god." "Craig Baker." " Yeah." "Oh, my god." "Okay." "I think you just broke the skin." "Okay, so, yeah, you remember me." " I think." "A little." " Great." " So how's it going?" " Good." "Didn't we like paint a gnome together in high school?" "You mean Braig Craker." "Yeah." "Hey, little dude." "What's up?" "So..." "Listen, Kim told me about the boot." " Kim Day?" " Yeah." "Well, Kim Baker, actually." " You guys are married?" " We're separated right now." " But..." " You guys are separated?" "So you know that the boot is like, not cool and stuff." "So I mean, is there any way you could like, take it off?" "I'll take more than my boots off." "Just kidding." "I'm just kidding." " Of course." " Of course." " Cause..." " Cause that would be..." " Just wrong or right, or whatever." " Yeah, I mean." "Yeah." "All right, we're going to do a little something here." "I'm just going to show you some cards, and you tell me what you see, okay?" "Wedding dress." "Wedding invitation." "Wedding cake." "You're sweating the small stuff." " Do you think you can help me, Athena?" " Well, I could." "But we have a lot of work to do." " I have the time." " Yeah, you do, but I don't." " Can she take my appointments?" " Well, I don't know, Phil." "Can she?" "You can take my sessions." "As many of them as you need." "Are you sure?" "Monday, wednesday, and friday?" "I'll be fine." "Because I've got my affirmations, I've got my breathing techniques, and my journaling." "I'd be she's just dead weight, at this point." "I mean, why have her around?" "Good one, Phil." "Really good." "So, what'd she say?" "What happened?" "Is she going to take the boot off?" "She said she'd only take the boot off, if I went on a date with her." " So..." "When you going?" " I'm not going." " Why not?" " Because, dude, what about us?" "The last time I checked, we were separated." "And as my husband, it is your job to fix this." "You seriously want me to go on a date with another chick?" "Dude, that's sick." "You're sick." "It worked for Demi Moore and Woody Harrison's son indecent proposal." "You always bring it home." " God." " How do you know this stuff?" "Television." "Yes, the positivity board." "I had one of those." "I should get mine out of storage." "I got to get going." "It's almost time to get ready for my appointment." "I got to go change." "How much longer do you think you're going to need to see Athena?" "I'm not sure." "Well, I got to tell you, I cannot thank you enough for referring me to her." "She is just incredible." "And you didn't tell me how beautiful she is with the big, brown curls, chestnut eyes, radiant skin." "Stunning, really." " Are you okay?" " Yeah, I'm fine." " Do you want your appointments back?" " No... do you?" "If you do, just say the word." "Negative, I don't need them." "You need them." "I don't need them." "So, you know." "I'm you know, I feel good." "Really good, actually." " I look good, I feel good." " Smell good." "I smell good." "Jovan white musk." " Dangerous." " Dangerous." "Got me." "For god's sake." "Phillip Leslie Knight..." "******************PUB************************" "Is that a man in a bear suit?" "More like a bear in a man's suit." "He's a grizzly." "His name is Arnold." "And he actually lets you get close to him?" "We got much closer than that." " I mean, really close." " I have to tell you, Athena." "It's so refreshing to meet someone with such esoterical interests." "I feel almost like we were separated at birth." "Well, we could've been." "I was left in a dumpster." " Really?" " I know, real bummer." "Very strange choice." "It's like 101, basic stuff." "You shouldn't..." " Leave a baby in a dumpster." " Leave a baby in a dumpster." "You want some tea?" " Earl Grey is great." " All I have is Earl Grey." "My goodness." "You love it, too." "You said it at the same time." "I know." "Remember when you sprained your ankle skateboarding and you had to miss shop class?" "Remember when you got a haircut and your hair had all these layers." "It was kind of a shag-mullet." "Yeah." "That was kind of my tribute Bowie and..." " Pete Rose." " Pete Rose." "I remember." "You told me by your locker, between math and social studies that tuesday, it was rainy." "You want to try some of this?" "It's really good here." " You know what, no, I'm good, actually." " No, really." "You should try it." "Okay." " Dude, what the hell right now?" " Nothing." "Okay." "I'm going to go." "But, what is the deal with the boot exactly?" "Do you take it off yourself?" "Right." "Long story short, I can't help you there." "I checked." "Okay, you be Adam." "And I'll be Eve." "There's a snake" " in the garden of Eden." " I need a glass of water." "Hello, old friend." "Morning, dude." " Hey, what's up?" " What do you mean, "what's up?"" "Why didn't you call me back?" "What happened with Marjorie?" " I don't want to talk about it." " Craig, what happened?" "She stuck her tongue down my throat, and then felt me up at the hostess stand." "Okay, I hated it." "And after all of that, she said that she still can't take the boot off." "Are you serious?" "Yeah, it was horrible." "Like she just..." "I mean, she can't take the boot off?" "No, okay." "Dude, I tried and it's over, trust me." "God." "Craig, I can't believe you." "First you cheat on me, and then you refuse to help?" "I did not cheat on you, Kim!" "Stop yelling at me." "I'm really upset." "I'm dude, I'm sorry." "Don't, don't cry." "Kim, no, no." "Don't cry, don't cry." "I'm sorry." "Dude, I'm sorry." " No, you're not." " Yes, I am." "I swear." "What can I. What can I do?" "There is one thing." " You're healed." " Really?" "Your aura doesn't lie, kath." "And you've been sleeping like a baby, so." " Athena, I'm really going to Miss you." " Me too." "Are those tap shoes?" "Come on, Athena." "Pick up the phone." "I need you." "Wiener, wiener and cheese." "I need you, Athena." "Pick up the phone." "What could you possibly be doing?" "I will not pleasure myself with food." "I ll not pleasure myself with food." "Food is fuel." "Food is not fun." "I will not fill the giant, gaping hole in my soul with useless carbs... and silly trans fats." "I will not faall..." "All clear." "Are you serious?" "Come on." "Are you serious?" "Tampering with a boot's a $300 fine, and I get to impound that vehicle." "Or..." "The boy toy takes a ride with me." "Craig, you're going for a ride." "You know kim, it wouldn't kill you to help me once in a blue." "Well, I just got my nails done." "New color." " Look." " I like that." "Cute, right?" "Cherry berry." "Looks so good on me." "It's very upbeat." "I like the more of the fuchsia color." "Phil, are you okay?" "He's eating pie from a salad bowl in the dark." "I fell off the wagon..." "Big time." "I thought I was strong enough." "I'm not." " I really needed Athena." " Phil, why didn't you say something?" "'Cause you needed her." "And I was ashamed." "What do you have to be ashamed about?" "That pie in his eyebrows, for starters." "All right, Kim, you know, can you give us a minute, please?" "I'm a fat person, Kath." "I'm a fat person, and I'll always be a fat person." "I have a fat appetite, fat thoughts, fat dreams, and fat schemes." "And if I don't have Athena, i'm going to have a fat body." "So you need therapy three times a week." "I mean, nobody's perfect, Phil." "Well, you are." " You're perfect, Kath." " Well..." "Thank you." "Listen, that's neither here nor there." "The bottom line is I don't need Athena anymore." "And even ii did, I would give her up for you." " How'd I get so lucky?" " How did i?" " I asked you first." " I asked second." "I asked you 14th." "You're cute." "A blueberry kiss." "I like that." "Sorry." "I want some of this pie." "Truth be told, Kath..." "I was averaging 18,000 calories aday." "Listen..." "Get Athena on the phone, and tell her all about it." "And can you tell her that I signed us up for salsa classes?" " Will do." " Thank you." "18,000 calories aday?" "Can you imagine?" "He doesn't look a pound heavier." "I wonder where it all went." "Found it." "******************PUB****************************" "Look, best and worst beach bodies." "So I you know, I think that stuff is very mean-spirited." "They always purposely get the wor... she looks just terrible." "Some people just refuse to take care of themselves." "I don't get it." "Jessica Simpson's fat on the third, and Skinny on the fifth, she's fat on the seventh again." "Well, you know." "She's obviously going through a very rough time." "Her movie career hasn't taken off the way she had hoped." " Employee of the month sucked." " Yeah, but that's not her fault." "Very disappointing script." "Yeah, it's all in the writing." "Team Subs-Addicts'"