"so what's gonna be,hah?" "You want your menorah or a candy cane, hmm?" "Christmas or Hanukkah?" "Um..." "I'm not" "Ah!" "Don't worry about it buddy because in this house, you don't have to choose" "Allow me to introduce to you a little something that I like to call..." "Chrismukkah" "That's right." "It's the new holiday, Ryan and it's sweeping the nation." "hey fellows ,we've got the tree hey unless the living house guys,a little help" "I saved a spot for you right there." "Put your muscle into it excelent to the right,to the right,don't hurt it,Those needles are brittle." "You guys... you guys... ¡°A+¡±. ¡°A+¡±." "I love..." "I love the holidays." "I love them all." "We didn't really know how to raise Seth" "Yeah, so I raised myself and in doing so, I created the greatest super holiday known to mankind drawing on the best that Christianity and Judaism have to offer." "And you call it Chrismukkah" "Just hearing you say it makes me feel all festive" "Allow me to elaborate" "You see, for my father here, a poor struggling Jew growing up in the Bronx well, Christmas meant Chinese food and a movie and for my mom over here,¨C WASPy McWASP ¨C,well,I mean a tree,I mean stockings,and all the trimmings" "isn't that right?" "we are very pround" "I'm not a WASP sure,you are not" "Other highlights include eight days of presents followed by one day of many presents so,what do you think?" "Uh,sounds great for you guys for you too" "Hey, dip a toe in the Chrismukkah pool." "There's room for all of us" "Isn't there something in the Atwood family tradition that you would like to incorporate into Seth's uber holiday?" "yehh" "Atwood and holidays is not a good combination what you guys do?" "No, seriously, thanks, but uh..." "Come on, man." "There's got to be something" "My holiday memories pretty much consist of my mom drunk and me getting my ass kicked" "Well, this year will be entirely different new memeries it will be great" "yeah,what ever you want me to do,i'll do" "That's the spirit." "Come here" "Oy, humbug" "It's a big holiday for anyone" "Yeah, I'm still wrapping my head around it." "Just give him some time" "Why don't we trim the tree?" "You know what, you guys?" "Soon, Ryan will learn the magic of Chrismukkah" "Worry not" "I will convert him" "I was in the shower for five minutes." "How did this place turn into Santa's workshop?" "I see someone took down the wreath I hung on the door" "It fell." "What are you wrapping?" "Two Seth Cohen starter packs." "We got Death cab, we got Bright Eyes, we got The Shins, we got Cavelier and Klay, and we got Goonies" "It's not just for kids, Ryan." "It's not." "I don't care what they tell you" "Summer and Anna are going to love them both equally" "You're getting Summer and Anna the same thing?" "Yes, I am." "Sometimes I'm so crafty, I surprise myself" "No good can come of this." "You know that, right?" "Uh, nope, I don't" "You're going to have to choose, man" "Hey, not on Chrismukkah I don't, okay?" "There's no choosing in Chrismukkah" "Well, you didn't get me anything, right?" "No" "Come on, man." "Lighten up" "Okay, fine." "Stay dark." "Dark works, too" "Oh, Ryan, what is your show size?" "Why?" "No reason" "Mother, might that be a Chrismukkah list?" "No." "Why do you ask?" "Okay." "Let me just see it then, real fast" "It's work" "Okay, I love your work." "It fascinates me,Come on" "I thought you guys said no gifts" "Well, we did, as in no gifts for us" "Well, Chrismukkah's ruined" "Ah!" "Don't even say it, man." "Come on" "Chrismukkah is unruinable." "It's got twice the resistance of any normal holiday" "Your father just refused out latest settlement offer." "He wants to go to trial." "That's not what he said yesterday." "He said that if you met his offer..." "Yeah, well as of this morning, Ebenezer Scrooge decides he wants to go to court which means I'm going to have to spend the holidays going through file boxes and preparing for trail." "You know,With Rachel out of town..." "Chrismukkah is ruined" "Sooner or later, we will get through a holiday around here" "Stop it, right now, okay?" "Don't give up on the miracle that is Chrismukkah" "What is happening to you...?" "You'll see" "You'll see, too" "You'll all see." "You'll all see." "You're really starting to scare me" "I'm okay with that" "Okey dokey, here we go" "Which tie?" "What are you thinking?" "This one?" "All right?" "Or..." "Uh, the second one, definitely" "All right" "So, you have a job interview today?" "Well, it's just a meet-and-greet." "Who knows what will come of it, but we've got to dress for success, right?" "Look, I'm working on it, kiddo" "I'll find a job." "I know there's a lot of extra pressure around the holidays" "There doesn't have to be any extra pressure because there doesn't have to be any holidays" "Really" "What are you talking about?" "We can skip Christmas" "I mean, it's not like it's not going to happen again next year and holidays just make people depressed" "Are you?" "Depressed?" "I mean you were supposed to go to therapy after Mexico, and you never really..." "I'm great." "I'm just saying" "Ok, good because we're not skipping Christmas." "Come on" "I'm going to find a job, we're going to figure out a way to make this whole thing work, and we're going to have lots to celebrate about, okay?" "Come on, skipping Christmas." "You sure about this tie?" "Yeah, definitely." "You look great" "Skipping Christmas ¨C what are you, the Grinch?" "So, Summer and Anna are both coming to this party" "Yeah, but neither one's my date" "And they know?" "Oh yeah." "They both know that" "Come on, man, relax." "Look, it's a big party, okay?" "You might be all doom and gloom, but me check it out:" "I'm snowflakes." "I'm latkes." "Chrismukkah is coming." "And when Chrismukkah ends?" "I hate when Chrismukkah ends" "Cohen." "Hi, Ryan." "Um, I wanted to know what the deal was for tonight ¨C if you were driving..." "Hey, Seth." "So, what time are you thinking for tonight?" "Oh." "Hey, Summer" "Hey, Anna" "You guys" "I was thinking we should all probably meet there" "How about that?" "At whatever time you so choose to get there, by whatever means" "Sounds great" "Yeah, perfect" "You better pray for a Chrismukkah miracle" "I've got Jesus and Moses on my side, man" "Hey, Kirsten." "What do you think?" "It's really something" "You don't like it?" "It's not that." "It's just that... my mom used to put the Christmas tree in the foyer" "It's just a tradition that we have" "Yeah, Caleb told me." "But then I thought you know what?" "The holidays are hard enough" "Your father doesn't need to be reminded of the past" "Caleb needs to enjoy this Christmas" "Oh, and did Caleb tell you we need to borrow your office?" "We're doing the Santa thing for the kids, and we need a holding area for the elves" "What are you doing here?" "Your father said you were working from home" "He did?" "He's just full of surprises" "I changed my mind" "If the land trust can come up with $200 million, then surely they can come up with $300 million" "I just..." "I thought this was over" "You can always get a little more blood out of the stone" "But the stone is my husband" "Well, I was thinking we could spend the holidays working" "That sounds good." "You have fun" "What are you talking about?" "I'm going to do something that I haven't done in... ever" "I'm taking Christmas vacation" "Don't be ridiculous, Kiki" "You hate sitting around the house" "Well, not as much as I hate fighting with you." "So you spend the next two weeks buried in legal documents." "I'm going to be wrapping gifts" "I hate Christmas" "Yeah, well Christmukkah's not much better" "You don't want to know" "Yeah, but holidays make what's bad even worse" "I just wish my dad would drop the act." "I don't need it." "And I don't need Christmas" "Who do you have to spend it with?" "Christmas Eve with my dad, Christmas day with my mom" "Plus, she's making me go to this stupid Newport Group holiday party tonight" "The Cohen's are going too, so..." "So, at least we'll be miserable together" "Deal?" "Deal." "So, am I seeing you after school?" "I got some stuff to do... some shopping." "South Coast Plaza" "You're going to South Coast Plaza?" "Alone?" "I don't think you're ready for that" "No, I think you need a seasoned expert to protect you" "Well, you know someone?" "So no luck, huh?" "There's a 99-cent store down the street" "I guess I can't really afford this place anymore" "Then why did we come?" "I know it sounds stupid, but I like it here" "Everything is so perfect" "You walk around feeling like all your problems can be solved by the right nail polish or a new pair of shoes" "Miss." "I'm going to have to ask to see your purse" "What are you doing?" "I can't let you leave the premises" "If you don't hand over your purse right now, you'll give me no choice but to call the police" "Why don't you just back off, all right?" "Ryan, it's okay" "No, it's not" "Your purse." "Now" "what are you doing?" "Hey, what are you doing?" "Working from home?" "I'm on vacation" "Ah, yes, clearly" "I find reviewing end-of-the-year accounts to be very relaxing" "I hope that's a recessive gene" "You should be so lucky" "Look, I haven't taken a vacation in a while, and I'm... easing into it" "Oh, yeah." "I don't judge, okay?" "I only mock" "That you get from your father" "Oh, my God." "They're coming in?" "Oh, that's..." "I got you" "What are those?" "They came for Ryan from his mom and his brother" "You know what he said about the holidays?" "When he talks like that, I have..." "I have no idea what to say" "Me, neither" "You just have to be yourself" "Yeah, ¡®cause that always works so well" "Well, being a family is hard under any circumstance" "Creating a new one ¡ªthat's got to feel weird sometimes" "Well, feeling weird is right in my..." "What?" "What is it?" "Is Grandpa going crazy with the company credit card again?" "What is it this time?" "Hookers?" "A little blow,perhaps?" "Grandpa likes to dance with you, white lady" "What are you talking about?" "I don't know" "What is it?" "Hopefully, it's nothing." "You should go get ready, ¡®cause we have to be there soon" "I'll go put on my face" "Hi." "This is Kirsten Cohen from the Newport Group" "My father ordered a survey of the Balboa Heights and I've lost my copy and I really need to see the document, so I'm wondering if it's possible for you to fax it over to me" "I cannot believe this." "Marissa" "Julie" "Look, I have to host the most important event of my professional career tonight" "Well, atleast your priorities are in order" "You know, it's amazing how all these calamities keep happening under your watch, Jimmy" "Oh, so I'm to blame for this one, too?" "Where do you think she learned to steal?" "Okay, stop it" "I'm the one who stole, remember?" "I'm the one to blame, not Dad" "Look, we're lucky the store is not pressing charges." "Okay?" "Now, Marissa and I were just trying to decide what an appropriate punishment..." "Oh, really?" "Well, way to rule with the iron fist, Stalin, but it's not up to her" "No car, no allowance, no weekends" "So I can stay home tonight?" "Starting tomorrow" "I won't have my party ruined by your little sticky fingers" "Look, sweetie" "I know that this time of year makes everything bad seem worse but why did you do this?" "I thought it would be..." "Look, I wasn't... it was stupid" "Well, I called the therapist on the way over here" "Mom" "She's right, kiddo" "Therapy was part of the deal of you moving in here" "Okay, look, I've been doing way better since Mexico 4.0 first quarter, Charity League, Social Chair..." "I've scheduled you an appointment tomorrow morning with Dr. Milano." "He's supposed to be great" "I'm sorry but I can handle it" "This." "I..." "I won't do it again, I promise" "Honey, I love you" "But I don't believe you" "You might actually find it helpful" "Yeah." "Whatever" "I need to get ready" "And Mom, you have your big party to throw" "I'm sure you don't want to keep Caleb waiting" "Hey." "What's up, man?" "You're back" "So, that's pretty cool, right?" "Your mom and brother got you something" "Yeah, except now I have a total of eight gifts to buy, and I only saved enough for one" "Ryan that sort of reminds me of the story of Hanukkah, dude." "Check it out" "The lamp." "You know what?" "I think you get the gist" "How was the mall?" "Weird" "Yes." "You've really painted a picture for me." "I feel like I was there" "Marissa picked up a few things without paying for them" "What, as in..." "Shoplifting" "Yeah" "Yeah, that's weird" "It's that time of year, and with everything that's going on with her family..." "Yeah, no, no." "I'm sure it's got to be hard for her" "Yeah." "I just wish there was something I could do or say" "Um..." "Oh, I got you something" "No, no, no." "We had an agreement" "Yeah, but this is different." "This is a requirement" "I know, it's a bit minty, but uh... you know, we all have one, so we just thought..." "No." "That's cool" "Well, good" "Maybe it'll meet a kinder fate than your wreath did but if not, we still wanted you to have it" "Thanks" "All right" "I'm going to go make magic happen" "I feel like my hair is working for me tonight" "I'm late." "I know, I know" "I'll hurry" "So, you're not going to believe this but your father and I reached a settlement today" "He gouged me a little." "Well, you know, he gouged me a lot" "He asked you for more money?" "Oh, just $250 million" "But we closed the deal, and he claims that he did it because of you" "Is that what he told you?" "And it seems your little vacation today really hit him hard" "Because he says he wants to spend the holidays as a family" "You know, maybe... maybe he's changing" "Or maybe he is a truly fantastic liar." "What's wrong?" "I found something today" "And I don't know if I can give it to you, but I don't know if I can't" "Okay well..." "He's going to know that I gave this to you" "And he's going to have every right to fire me" "You have got to be kidding me" "This changes everything" "And I'm going to have to learn how to relax, because I'm going to have a lot of free time" "I'm sorry, honey" "Not as sorry as he's going to be" "You still want to go to the party?" "I wouldn't miss it for the world" "Anna." "Hey" "Mistletoe" "Oh." "Oh that's very festive of you" "Uh, I thought we were meeting there." "I'm going with my parents" "Well, I was thinking maybe we could go together" "I would love to do that" "You know I would" "But don't you think that would violate our little Geneva Convention of dating we have going on?" "¡®Cause I told Summer that you know, I'd meet both of you there" "Well, how is Summer ever going to know?" "Mistletoe" "What is she doing here?" "What are you doing here?" "I thought we had a deal, Cohen" "Which you clearly violated" "As did you" "She's got a point" "You're on her side?" "No" "There are no sides, you guys" "There's only um... rides with my parents." "We'll all go together" "Hmm?" "Fine" "Fine" "So, I have a gift for you." "I'll give it to you later" "I have a present for you, too, also." "I'll give it to you later" "I can't wait" "For either" "For both" "Seth, you ready?" "Come on." "Let's go" "Hi, Summer." "Anna." "Ladies" "Oh, this is going to be some party" "Mm-hmm" "You know, maybe this is not such a bad idea" "What does that mean?" "It'll be good to have someone to talk to" "You're someone." "I can't talk to you?" "You can talk to me." "It's just..." "What?" "I need the help of a trained professional because I stole a lipstick?" "It's not about the lipstick" "Well, I guess I don't really see what it's about" "I guess you do what you want" "I will" "If no one's making my parents go to therapy, then no one's making me" "You know, I'm the only normal one in this family" "Sorry." "Hey, you know, I think I left my wrap upstairs." "Could you grab it for me?" "I just need to grab my purse" "Sure" "Mushroom-leek crescent?" "Crab and brie phyllo?" "Come on, buddy." "Change it up a little bit" "Enjoy the party" "Come on, Seth." "I'm going this way" "Oh" "Oh, well, I'm going this way" "Oh, you guys are?" "I'm going to go look for Ryan" "Kirsten." "Sandy." "Welcome" "Hey, Kiki" "Hey" "Good to see you" "Did Simon give you our good news?" "He did" "I actually need to follow up on a few things with you, Cal" "If you don't mind..." "Come, Sanford." "It's a party" "Think back on your Berkley days" "Maybe you can smoke the tree" "Smoke the tree." "Funny" "I'm going to nail him now" "Uh-huh" "So, what do you think?" "About?" "The party." "You haven't said anything." "Do you like it?" "I mean, I know how you feel about the tree, but if you can get past that..." "It's great" "And what did Caleb think?" "I mean, has he said anything to you?" "I haven't had a chance to talk to him" "I just want this to be a party that he'll never forget" "I think you have a shot you ok?" "yeah, why?" "I don't know today's ben kinda intense and I know you don't really wanna be here" "I wanna be where you are, (smiles) an your here so (kisses him)" "(walks over) ah Marissa, oh you wore the chenille how pretty, Ryan (to Marissa) you haven't said hello to Caleb yet yeah that's because he was talking to other people mom and I didn't wanna interrupt him" "well he's ready now so" "I'm not!" "Marissa mom!" "you are a guest at this party only because you made me come here you are in enough trouble already young lady well then I guess I've got nothin'a lose so this is the way its gonna be with us from now on" "I don't know, I'll ask my shrink!" "... you know what I'm gonna go to the bathroom (walks away)" "I hate the holidays right there with ya" "Caleb, you got time to talk?" "nope ah come on, make some" "what is this it's a geological survey of the heights which you commissioned and you somehow mysteriously failed to turn over to my office" "I haven't got time for this oh I think you do, allow me to summarise what you know already. the heights are size- malogically unsound, the whole area is uninsurable it's worthless as is your theory" "there's no way you would have gotten the building permit... and you knew that what'd you want Sandy" "I wanna buy back the heights... for a dollar" "you cannot be serious" "Merry Christmas" "huh, so... are you ready for your present?" "yeah alright I'm ready, hand me the keys ill figure out how to drive a stick eventually very funny Seth, always have to ruin the mood it's what I do ready mmhmm" "the adventures of Seth Cohen  Captain Oats (makes fist) volume 1 confidence (smiles) you made this no I bought it on eBay" "I can't believe you did this, this is amazing" "(Anna smiles) (reads) hey this Seth in the story seems really handsome and awesome" "I guess I took some liberties you dumbed him down a little bit" "this is fantastic thanks so hows Seth doin he's fine I think i think it's hard to tell with him sometimes, why?" "well does he ever do things that sort of... make you question yourself as a-as a parent well there was the model home and Tijuana and a thing with the range rover and an IMAX movie that I didn't quite buy" "but there kids I mean they-they do...stuff they get in trouble right well our parents would've had a heart attack if they knew half the things that we did ah come on we were good kids...we were, weren't we?" "we were good kids yeah and we have good kids" "ok Summer but hang on for a second, what are we doing here because Anna just went to get drinks so she's gonna be back in like one second shh-shh c'mere wha jus c'mere ok" "stay there" "I hear you like comic books Cohen this is true" "Merry Christmas" "good-lord I think I'm gonna pass out your not going... anywhere ok" "yes,what's this?" "uh-uh that's uh-uh that's Anna's present, she made it for me she made it?" "yeah its amazing yeah I know but hey, your presents amazing to ok, it's really amazing" "hey there you (mouth open) are hey Anna Summer was just giving me her gift, its cool your wonder woman?" "yeah, so" "I mean you look...amazing... is that my story?" "oh my god..." "I made you a comic book what am I eight way to go wonder whore hey wonder woman's not a whore ok, stop what're we doing?" "I don't know this is ridiculous hold up you guys one second please ok lets not-lets not-lets not have one speed bump derail the whole train ok lets not throw the baby out with the bath water lets not..." "let's make some more metaphors look I'm not into talking about like feelings or whatever... but I like you, ok an so does she" "if we don't put an end to this soon someone's gonna get hurt you gotta choose Cohen" "did you miss me?" "c'mon lets dance no you know how I feel about dancing you know how I don't care c'mon it's a party yeah an office party" "I thought you wanted to have fun don't make me make you have fun uh I'm guessin that's not eggnog so what?" "c'mon if you don't wanna dance we could just get outta here uhh I didn't see you with a cocktail well...maybe I brought my own" "want some what's goin on with you today?" "huh what's the big deal, you drink not alone in the bathroom" "I'm just having fun right, the first night I met you, you were having fun passed out in your drive way, a couple weeks later it was an alley in Mexico its like- just like my mom all over again" "ugh shut up we're gettin outta here no I am enjoy the party" "Ryan: hey (grabs her arm) you can't drive Marissa: get your hands offa me" "I have enough people in my life telling me what to do... see ya" "hey come on let me drive get away from me!" "hey, hey" "I'm fine" "and so effective immediately I'm transferring the title of the heights to the Balboa land trust for the very reasonable price of one dollar" "and I couldn't have done it without the help of my son-in-law Sandy Cohen" "oh thanks Cal but I can't take credit for this you did this all on your own to Caleb Nichol the most generous man in Newport Beac thanks..." "Happy Chanukah Sandy great what you're driving no yeah because you're drunk" "I'm not fine" "shoot,mm where is it?" "come on put it away" "I'm trying" "I'm still on probation" "I SAID I'm trying" "of course this is happening" "happy holidays license registration... you got a broken tail light do you know that it just happened, we're gonna get it fixed you kids haven't ben drinking?" "no sir" "everything alright here miss yeah fine, thanks miss would you please" "copy that, I've got a call I need to get to" "I'm gonna let you go with just a warning for that tail light, you get that fixed, drive straight home yes sir" "stop ok your scaring me" "GOOD you're scarin me!" "there's drinking, crying, cops well then it must be Christmas" "I left this behind" "I am not doing it again ok" "ok" "well the ladies laid down the law its over what're you gonna do" "I have no idea" "I don't know no female has ever really offered me a-uh-uh a choice perse, I really only know how to handle rejection... and ridicule I have a really good handle on ridicule how was your night?" "Marissa got drunk and we got pulled over by the cops with an open container of Vodka hey, that Marissa she's really making life interesting for you yep we got in a fight what about the cop got a radio call" "let us off with a warning for a busted tail light... now you see why I hate Christmas hang on a second Ryan um it seems to me that what we have here is a Chrismukkah --miracle (looking up) thankyou (excited) think about this for a second the old Ryan Atwood,what woulda happened" "he woulda got busted for sure but this time ya had Jesus workin for ya right and then you also had Moses workin together the super team fighting for you to keep you safe and give you a second chance touched by an angel... that's nice" "its got a good ring to it, I believe my faith has ben restored uh I should go get ready, Anna will be here soon what're you gonna tell her?" "I'm sure the words will come alright" "I just think that considering everything, oh actually wait hang on let me actually try another approach" "I think your awesome and your hillarious an-an your caliente an I think y'know your extremely witty an your wise and I kinda can't believe I'm actually gonna say this" "but um I just I think we should be friends and I want you to have this" "I don't wanna be your friend" "I don't wanna be your friend" "you can never have too many copies of the Goonies" "it was corporate espionage I coulda had you fired even sued you for breach of confidentiality dad you were extorting the county putting the company at huge risks sooner or later this was gonna come out and then what when you found that report y-you could of shown me" "you could of shown me when it started" "I'm sorry but I just didn't see any other way it was dishonest calculating and ruthless" "Kiki... we just might make a real estate mogul out of you yet" "well that's something to look forward to" "hmm (touches the tree) your moms ornaments tree looks nice" "there may be a gift under there for you maybe" "hey where you going?" "we were thinkin about gettin a movie uh Marissa's spose to go see a therapist this morning ohh she's goin through alot yeah I thought I'd go with her yeah you could... or uh not" "y'know Marissa's gonna have to figure this out by herself and you gotta let her... your here with us now you don't have to be the parent anymore" "movie huh yeah but it's my pick the selection of a movie is something of an art" "I came here three times before I actually walked through that door..." "I know you, you go to Harbor right" "Marissa Cooper, hi yeah you're the girl at school who organises things, parties and stuff right social chair is what that's called" "you go to Harbor?" "no, no I go to Pacific..." "Oliver Trask" "for a social chair (laughs) well I don't find you to be very social at all we're gonna have to talk to somebody about a recall" "this is...a psychiatrist's office, it's kind of embarrassing yeah-yeah your right this is totally embarrassing... so lets suggest the obvious an move on.... what's wrong with you?" "what is wrong-with you well if I knew I wouldn't be here" "...you're not an alcoholic...yet you've od'ed at least once pills I'd say muscle relaxants definitely" "pain killers you didn't really wanna hurt yourself" "Kurt Cobain yeah he wanted to hurt himself you know coming here wasn't my idea maybe not but you wouldn't be here if you didn't wanna be... you wanna know why you are the way you are" "that's you, I'm waitin on the next door see you next week" "how'd it go with the girls?" "Seth Cohen starter pack" "I think I'm passed that now" "is that what I think it is yeah, figured I'd hang it alright man another Chrismukkah convert nice, I never doubted it for a second (standing) check it out I already put the hook up just in case" "hey alright what'll it be fiddler on the roof, it's a wonderful life or my selection Silvester Stalones over the top isn't that the arm wrestling movie arm wrestling classic oh hey uh Merry Chrismukkah you guys" "oh thank you" "Subtitles By Woody Studio"