"Hey, diary." "Well, on Valentine's Day, out of the blue, Richard kisses me." "Yes, that Richard." "Diary, stop screaming!" "Now I don't know what to do." "Part of me likes James." "Part of me likes Richard." "It's like there's two Kimmies..." "the one who likes James..." "And the one who likes Richard." "But can we at least agree that we both like Channing Tatum?" "And showing cleave." "But what do we do?" "Look, Kimmie, there's no problem." "Richard is perfect." "He's handsome." "He's rich." "He's English." "He's charming." "He's practically a prince." "But James has what I like to call "cupcake qualities."" "He's sweet and soft..." "and feels really warm inside." " You're just afraid." " You are!" " Why are you yelling at me?" "!" " I don't know!" " This is crazy!" " This is crazy!" "I like that top." "Thanks, I like yours." "Do you want to switch?" "Okay." "♪ Don't stop me now ♪" "♪ I'm having such a good time ♪ ♪ Good time ♪" "♪ I'm having a ball ♪ ♪ Super fun night ♪" "♪ Don't stop me now ♪ ♪ 'Cause I'm havin' a good time ♪" "♪ I don't want to stop at all ♪" "♪ Super fun night ♪ ♪ Super fun wild night ♪" "It was really great to see you again." "And nice tie, by the way." "Kendall, why were you talking to that guy so much?" "Oh, one of my New Year's resolutions is to hone my skills in the art of small talk." "Hey, nice pearls." "As you know, I generally don't like interacting with randoms." "I don't think you need the word "generally" in that sentence." "Kimmie, everybody knows that we're headed towards the acquisition of another firm." "That's why Richard's father is in town." "Someone is gonna get a promotion, and that means there'll be a promotion party." "And what happens at every party?" "Oh, a truth-or-dare game where I end up filling my underpants with risotto?" "No." "Small talk." "Okay." "Oh, I get it." "You think you're gonna get the promotion, so you're just working on your small talk." "Oh, Kimmie." "That is so sweet of you to say." "Thank you." "And, hey, I really like your purse." "It's so cute." " Where did you get it?" " Oh, thanks." "It's Macy's." "Not the department store..." "Macy McPhee." "You know, her husband runs a funeral home, and sometimes the deceased leave something..." "Fooled you!" "I wasn't interested at all." "God, I am getting really good at this." "Well, it had money in it." "Morning." "Hi." "Toasting the old bagel, I see." "Oh, am I?" "I didn't realize I was standing so close to the oven." "Oh, no, I meant, uh..." "Don't worry." "Never mind." "Oh." "So, I'm very excited to be meeting your father." "Yes, yes." "He's quite a guy..." "a royal peer, accomplished fox hunter, emotional cripple." "I'm sure you'll love meeting him." "I'm great with other people's dads, especially Marika's every time we're alone, he's always taking polaroids of me." "Listen, Kimmie, um..." "I just want to say that, um," "I feel terrible about what happened on Valentine's Day." "I acted on impulse, which I should never do." "The last time I did, I ended up going through a Western-wear phase, bought a Stetson." "It was a big mistake." "Look, I know that you're with James now." "And despite what happened between us, I respect that." "You're my friend, and I just want you to be happy." "Okay." "Yeah." "Yeah, 'cause we're friends." " Yeah, friends." " We're just friends." "I mean the two of us being together, that would be madness, don't you think?" "That would be awful." "It's a terrible idea." "Yeah." "I'd hate it." "I'd hate it so much, I'd love it." "But I am with James now." "Yeah." "Okay." "Great game today." "Almost felt bad letting you win." "That's what I wanted you to think." "You're bad." "No, you're bad." "No, I mean you're bad at tennis." "Really bad, actually." "It's a good thing you're cute." "Hey, Marika." "Ready for lunch?" "Oh..." "Uh, H.A., I have..." "I am dealing with a l-lesson..." "a lesson." "You're um... you're Helen-Alice." "Hi, I'm Frankie." "It's so nice to meet you." "I've heard so much about you." "Yeah, so, anyway, I just have to, um, write up the invoice for this client that I train." "That's how I make currency, is I train people, so I have to have a relationship with this person in order to make money." "So, you should go to the restaurant." "Just toddle off, get a table." "Waiter comes, I'll have the beef stroganoff or the turkey stroganoff." "Any strog will do." "I need to talk to you." "What's wrong?" "Have you heard about the promotion?" "Am I not getting it?" "Oh, they're not giving it to that idiot Francine, are they?" "Did you know she owns a parrot?" "No." "I need your advice on something." "Richard kissed me." "Richard who?" "What do you mean, "Richard who"?" "Richard." "Richard Royce." " Our Richard." "Richard." " Is this a joke?" "Did Francine put you up to this?" "Okay, fine." "She doesn't own a parrot." "I just said that to make her sound crazy." "No, Kendall, this is real." "Richard kissed me." "And his lips felt like salmon from Barney Greengrass." "I knew it!" "I knew you two would eventually do this!" "My shrink said I was crazy for obsessing about it, but I knew I was right!" "Okay, Kendall, just calm down!" "I need to know what to do, okay?" "I thought I was over Richard." "But then when he kissed me, I just..." "I felt things." "A..." "lot of things." "I don't know." "I..." "I feel very, very guilty." "And I don't want to be dishonest with James." "So, should I tell him?" "Oh, my God." "Are you crazy?" "No." "Listen, Kimmie." "Don't tell James, okay?" "It is the worst thing you could possibly do." "Okay." "Truth is bad." "I will not tell James I kissed Richard." "I kissed Richard." "What?" "Are you mad?" "I don't know." " Are you sad?" " I don't know!" "You're not glad." "What?" "No!" "Why would I be glad?" "I was just being thorough." "What?" "I mean, what does this mean?" "Do you have feelings for Richard still?" "No." "I..." "I don't kn..." "I don't..." "I don't know." "No, but it..." "It doesn't matter, James, because I'm with you." "Where are you going?" "I'm gonna go take a walk." "Why?" "You hate walking." "That's one of the things we have in common." "Yeah, we got a lot of things in common, like our love for Steve Harvey, our suspicion of brunch because technically it scams you out of a meal, our joint fear of Whippets." "Their bones look so breakable." "Yeah, except guess what." "I don't think any of that matters anymore." " James..." " I'm sorry." "I can't do this." "It's still going straight to voice mail." "Kendall was right." "I should have just outright lied." "I lie very convincingly every day." ""Excuse me, I need that seat." "I'm pregnant."" "Maybe voice mails and texts aren't the way to handle this one." "Maybe this is a situation where you need more than words." "Like what?" "Chocolates, t-shirt guns?" "No, the song "More than Words," by Extreme." "Who knew being caught between two men would be so hard?" "In my imagination, it was a lot more sensual." "Oh, looks like someone else has been shopping at the frown store." "What's going on, H.A.?" "I thought I'd learned some hard lessons in life, mostly at the hands of my draconian zither teacher, but that's nothing compared to the lesson I learned last night." "What lesson was that?" "That love is cruel and unfair." "I saw Benji." "Benji, I was just coming to see you." "No, uh, Helen-Alice, you can't come in." " I'm allergic to you." " Wait!" "No, look, I-I haven't washed my hair." "I threw out my deodorant." "The only thing I've eaten in the past 24 hours is distilled water and lemon." "There is nothing left for your body to reject." "You did all that for me?" "Yeah." "Oh, baby." "Well, at least you still have a chance with him." "I had James." "I had Richard." "Now all I have is my Japanese boyfriend pillow." "Actually, I should wash Toshiharo." "That relationship is now back on." "Wow." "You're lucky you're single, Marika." "You don't know how hard it is to want to be with somebody but you can't." "Yeah." "Free bird, that's what they call me." "Who calls you that?" "Johnny." "Dale." "H-Hershel." "What's going on?" " Ah, my father's coming." " Oh." "So... ah, there he is." "Hello, father." "You're looking well." "I do hope this isn't typical of what you do here, Richard... greet people as they step off the elevator." "And who's this..." "your hair stylist?" "I'm Kimmie Boubier." "I got promoted to 28 about a year ago." "But thank you so much for saying I look like a hair stylist." "Mr. Royce." "Kendall Quinn." "Of course." "Ms. Quinn." "Uh, you're the one who sued the Sunrise Orphanage for trademark infringement on behalf of Sunrise Petroleum International, am I right?" "Well, big oil needs a voice, too." "I've always thought that." "Well, one of the traits I value in a person is ambition." "It seems to me you could learn a lot from Ms. Quinn, Richard." "Now, are you gonna show me to the conference room, or do you need to greet more people coming off elevator?" "This way." "Ms. Quinn." "Oh, my God!" "Did you hear that?" "He rewards ambition." "I've got this promotion in the bag." " Kendall, is that all you care about?" " What?" "Did you just see how Richard's father spoke to him?" "It's terrible." "Well, yes, I..." "yes, I did notice... and it was terrible." "And I was going to say something." "Yes!" "Okay." "I need to say something." " Sure." " Your father, why does he treat you like that?" "Kimmie, it's complicated." "I wish I could just pull a retractable string from his back and have him say, "I love you," but that's never going to happen." "I think you should stand up to him." "Just tell him exactly how you feel." "If you don't act now, when he's right here in front of you," "I just think you'll regret it." " Maybe you're right." " Yeah, if you don't say something, then you'll just feel like a gutless shell of a human being." "Yeah." "Okay." "Thanks." "You'll just be, like, a spineless, sniveling little..." "Yeah, 'cause if you don't say something..." "I got the point." "Thank you." " Say... say the truth." " That... that's it." " Well, you know what I mean." " Shut up." "Thank you." "Goodbye." " Ow." " Careful." "You're not my pizza." "Nope." "We're here from Team James." "What's that?" "I designed the layout, H.A. picked the font." "We got a special discount for ordering six dozen, so if you want to take some off our hands, hint-hint." " We can talk about t-shirts later." " Sure." "We're here to talk about you and Kimmie." "You guys belong together." "Yeah, well..." "Come on in." "I mean, it's not like I don't think we belong together." "I..." "Girls, I..." "I miss her so much." "I'm miserable without her." "Everywhere I look, I think about her, you know?" "Like that picture." "The one of...you and Kimmie?" "Mm-hmm." "It totally reminds me of her." "But I will not break down and call her, not even when our favorite cat-food commercial comes on." "You know the one I'm talking about... the one with the cats in it?" "The cat one?" "The one with the cats?" "The cat one?" "The cat one!" "She cries every time she sees is." "Hey, love works in strange ways." "It's like, um..." "It's like when one red delicious makes another red delicious feel feelings that red delicious number two has never felt before in her life, you know?" "And as overwhelming as those feelings may be, maybe it's time for red delicious number two to accept that it's okay to feel those feelings." "And it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks because red delicious number one is pretty rad, so red delicious number two shouldn't screw things up!" "You know?" "Kimmie hates fruit." "Ah, good morning, father." "You're late." "Not that I'm surprised." "Um, if you have a minute, father," "I'd like to speak with you about something." "Actually, I do have a minute." "Then we have to get to the meeting." "So why don't you make yourself useful and fetch me another cup of tea, hmm?" "Tea." "Right." "No." "Excuse me?" "No." "I shan't fetch you a cup of tea." "And I shan't fetch you a cup of coffee." "If you asked me to fetch you some donuts," "I'd probably say yes, but that's only because you're paying and I'm hungry." "Now sit down." "I have a lot to say, dad!" ""Dad"?" "It's about to get very "Gilmore Girls" up in here." "So, today I'm announcing that our firm will be acquiring Kramer, Tashberg and Held." "Told ya." "And I have chosen one of you here today to spearhead this acquisition." "The position requires leadership, strength of character, and the ability to face endless challenges, and I could think of no better person than Kendall Quinn..." "Oh, my God." "I really wasn't expecting this." "Uh, Ms. Quinn." " Uh, Ms. Quinn." " Kendall." "Until today, when my son, Richard Royce, showed a side of strength and determination that I've quite honestly never seen in him before." "Congratulations, Richard." "Richard!" "Ken..." "Kendall?" "Boubier." "Richard!" "Congratulations!" "Yes!" "I couldn't have done it without you." "You gave me the courage to stand up to my father, and apparently he was impressed." "You're gonna head the new office now." "Whoo!" " Yeah, yeah." " Yeah." " Yeah." " But it's in Berlin." "What?" "I leave tomorrow." "Kendall." "This isn't a good time, Kimmie." "I've got problems of my own." "Well, can I please pace with you?" "Maybe exercise will help." "I can't believe I just said that." "Okay, fine." "Just stay in your own lane." "Kimmie, Kimmie, Kimmie." "In two days, I've managed to drive two guys out of my life!" "God, the promotion was mine." "I worked for weeks to position myself so I would get it." "Am I in love with Richard, and if I am, should I be honest and tell him?" "But the last time I was honest with James, that kind of didn't go so well for Kimmie." "Why should Richard get this promotion over me?" "What's he got that I don't?" "We both have loveless fathers that forced us to achieve at the cost of our own happiness." "If I tell Richard and then he reciprocates, well, then what happens with me and James?" "What happens then?" "Does that all go down the toilet?" "!" "Oh, God, I should just quit, but it's gonna hard out there for a privileged white girl from a rich family with a million contacts." "Kendall." "This isn't working." "Yeah, you're right." "Why don't you go eat your emotions instead?" "Good idea." " Mmm." " You know what?" "I think I was wrong about everything." "Wasn't life so much easier when we just stayed inside?" " Yes." "Agreed." " Yeah." " Always together, always inside." " Always inside." "Come on, you guys." "Things aren't that bad." "Oh, yeah, Marika?" "Name one good thing right now." " Hmm?" " Nothing." "Um..." "Well..." "I have a girlfriend." "Uh..." "Did you guys... did you guys know that I was..." "Well, there were some signs that we had noticed." " A few." " L-like what?" " Well..." " Well..." "You..." "A love of vests." " Yes." " Dedication to pants." "Obsession with Tegan and Sara." "Those dog-eared pages of "I, Martina."" "Every dream you have ends with you sipping hot cocoa with Billy Jean King." "Your striking resemblance to Jodie Foster." "I..." "I think I got it." "I think I got the fact that there's a lot of... there was a lot of signs maybe I wasn't even really aware of." "There's a big difference between thinking something and actually knowing that something's true." "Yeah." "Marika... thanks for telling us." "I..." "I have to go." "What?" "Where..." "where are you going?" "To the airport." "You're right." "I need to know, but I just first need to apologize to you." "It must have been torture for you having this around the house all these years." "Working on a Saturday, Ms. Quinn... very impressive." "Oh, what's this?" "My letter of resignation." "I have been a standard of excellence at this firm, sir, and not getting this promotion is an affront to me both personally and professionally." "I..." "I don't know what more you wanted from me, Mr. Royce." "I mean, did you expect me to grovel?" "Well, Kendall Quinn doesn't grovel." "Well, I'm very sorry to hear that, Ms. Quinn." "I was going to promote you to partner." "Would you like me on my knees, or should I prostrate myself in front of you?" "Richard." "Richard." "Oh." "Boubier." "What are you doing here?" "I hate it when those people movers are broken." "Uh, it jus... oh, sorry." "Kimmie, what is it?" "Richard..." "Yes, Kimmie?" "I just wanted to say," "I think you're gonna go really great in Berlin." "And I..." "I want to wish you all the luck." "Thank you." "Thank you, Kimmie." "Thanks very much." "Okay." "Right." "Well..." "Okay." "Goodbye." "Bye, Richard." "Hey." "Come on in." "You sure it's okay?" "You're not afraid that your friends are gonna wonder why you invited your "client" over?" "Ooh, I don't know." "Uh, actually, I'm not worried about that because I told them all about us." " Really?" " Mm-hmm." "Cool place." "Yeah, thanks." "I, uh..." "I live in the closet in the back." "You want to come see?" "Let's go!" "That was amazing, Helen-Alice." "It was so worth it." "Just try to lie still, okay, Benji?" "Call me when you get in your room." " Oh, what a woman!" " Relax, sir." "Be careful." "Kimmie." "Maybe this is too late." "Maybe I've already screwed this up, but I just have to tell you this." "I miss you, and I'm so sorry for what happened." "It..." "Are you crying?" "Oh..." "That cat commercial was just on." "I love that commercial." "It's so good!" "I love you, James." "I love you too, Kimmie." "♪ A-a-a-re you gonna take me home tonight?" "♪" "♪ Ohh, down beside that red firelight ♪" "♪ A-a-a-a-re you gonna let it all hang out?" "♪" "♪ Fat-bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go round ♪" "♪ Hey!" "♪" "♪ I was just a skinny lad ♪" "♪ Never knew no good from bad ♪" "♪ But I knew love before I left my nursery ♪" "♪ Left alone with big fat fanny ♪" "♪ She was such a naughty nanny ♪" "♪ Heap big woman, you made a bad boy out of me ♪" "♪ Yeah ♪" "♪ I've been singing with my band ♪" "♪ Across the water, across the land ♪" "♪ I've seen every blue-eyed floozy on the way ♪" "♪ But their beauty and their style ♪" "♪ Went kind of smooth after a while ♪" "♪ Take me to them dirty ladies every time ♪" "Super fun night, let's go!" "♪ Ohh ♪ ♪ I know ♪" "♪ You gonna take me home tonight?" "♪" "♪ Please!" "♪" "♪ Ohh ♪" "♪ Down beside that red firelight ♪" "♪ Ohh ♪" "♪ You gonna let it all hang out?" "♪" "♪ Fat-bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go 'round ♪" "♪ Whoo!" "♪" "♪ Fat-bottomed girls ♪" "♪ You make the rockin' world go 'round ♪"