"Check it out." "I finally fixed the toaster." " What?" " Yeah." "Oh, my God!" "No!" "Damn!" "The last Pop-Tart!" "All right, cut and print." "Beautiful, guys." "Dynamite." "That..." "You haven't missed one question yet." "You're doing great, baby." "Watch, girl." "I'm going to pass that courier's exam." "You'll see." "I'm going to be climbing my way up that corporate ladder... all the way up to dispatcher." "Next question." "Okay. "An employee shows up who you believe has been drinking."" " Does he have blood on his hands?" " No." ""Do you A:" "Report him to your superior..." ""B:" "Look the other way and let him drive the truck..." ""or C:" "Accept his §20 in return for your silence?"" "That must be an old manual." "Everybody knows you get §100 for your silence now." "Shawn, come on." "All right, I'm only playing, girl." "Let's put all this work down." "Too much work." "You know that old saying, "All work and no play..." ""keeps a brother horny."" "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful." "Marlon, is there something you'd like to share with us?" "Besides your bony ass!" "Shawn, I've finally found my special purpose." "I thought you found that when you were 13." "I'm going to be a model." "For what, Benetton in Somalia?" "I was walking by the Barri Simone School of Modeling... and their teacher told me that I was a natural." "Marlon, they only tell you that to take your money." "And Shawn just tells you he loves you to get some..." "Now, stop." "Where'd you get the money for these classes anyway?" "I just used the §300 Aunt Daisy left me when she died." "That was all the money you had in the world." "Don't worry about it." "We got a lot more coming in." "Uncle Leon got a prostate the size of a pumpkin." "You're wasting your money with these modeling classes." "No, I'm not." "This is an investment in my future." "See, I could be traveling to London, Paris, Mogadishu." "I could be Eurotrash, baby!" "See how stupid you are?" "Mogadishu isn't even in Europe." "Yeah?" "Where is it, then?" "It's right over in..." "It's over..." "Wouldn't you like to know?" "Look, the point is, you're getting ripped off." "I'm going down there and get your money back." "No!" "Shawn, come on, please." "Don't do that to a brother, man." "This is my dream." "This is something I really want to do, Shawn." "Please don't go get my money back." "All right." "If it means that much to you, I promise I won't." " Thank you, bro." " All right, man." "Now, if you will excusez-moizez..." "I have to go get myself beautified before class." "Make myself smooth all over." "Time for a little bikini wax." "Damn, this is going to hurt." "He's throwing all that money away." "How could you promise him you wouldn't go down there?" "I lied." "I do it all the time." "But not to you, girl." "Oh, Lord!" "You're a natural." "I'll see you tomorrow in class." "Stay away from those Oreos." "Look at that dress." "Now, somewhere there's a midget missing a sock." "May I help you?" " Who do I talk to about a refund policy?" " We don't have a refund policy." "Who do I talk to about a lawsuit?" "Classic features." "You have such classic features." " Really?" " Yes!" "Your eyes." "Your nose." "Your mouth." "You are so beautiful." "Well, you know, what can I say?" "I'm serious." "Are those your real teeth?" "Are those your real breasts?" "So those are caps, but that's okay." "You're still a natural." "Let's try something." " Okay." " Sit." "I'm going to say an emotion." "I want you to express it using only your face." "Show me anger." "Come on, get mad." "Great." "Show me happiness." "Happy." "After a few of our classes... you can become a successful model in the exciting world of high fashion." " Really?" " Yes." "I see you on the Champs Elysees wearing Armani." "And I see you buck-naked standing at the bus stop, sucking on a lollipop." "If you'll just sign... we can start turning your fantasy into a reality." "You know Vanessa Del Rio?" " How you doing?" " Cup of coffee, two waffles." "You had our special, the Rooty-Tooty Big Fat Booty." "Hey, might I also interest you in a solid gold dookie chain... that says Marcedes-Benz?" "No?" "I got something from our video collection." "Look at this." "Heavy D, Barry White." "Fat Boys in the Hood." "Baldheaded cheapskate." "I'm glad I sneezed on your waffles." "Guess what, Pops." "I just joined the Barri Simone School of Modeling." "You did what?" "I'm going to be a model." "My teacher Kika thinks I'm a natural." "I'm going to kick-a your natural black ass." "Have you lost your mind?" "Ain't no son of mine going to be parading around half-naked, posing for photos." "Those pictures can end up in prison, son." "What the hell's wrong with him?" "Don't ask me." "You let him eat those paint chips." "Is that why he's throwing pots back there?" "No, he's just mad at me because I joined his modeling class." "Him, too?" "See?" "I told your mother..." "I should've got you some hookers when you turned 14." "Look, Shawn." "This modeling class was my idea, okay?" "And you stole it from me." "You're always stealing from me." "I remember, you stole my G.I. Joe, my girlfriend, and worst of all... when I found little Lucky wandering the streets all alone." "I took him home, gave him a flea bath... and you stole him, too!" "Marlon, Lucky was a wino!" "Yeah, but he was my wino, Shawn!" "Mine, I tell you!" "And you're not stealing this from me." "Look, I don't care what you say." "You're not keeping me out of that class." "Yeah?" "Why not?" "I'm the one with all the talent." "You're just going to be a delivery boy... for the rest of your rotten life." "That's right." "You're stuck in the brown suit, baby." "All right." "That was funny." "Yeah, Mr. Busboy." "Package man!" "Onion dicer!" "Doo doo brown suit!" "Hamburger helper!" "Don't make me take off my belt!" "I still got it." "Yes!" "Look above the crowd!" "Suck in that stomach!" "Tighten those butts!" "Oh." "Take five." "That's Maxwell Blair, the designer." "Maybe today's my big chance to be discovered." "Fat chance, Flabio." "Shawn, would you come here, please?" "Did you say Shawn or Marlon?" " The two sound so much alike, don't they?" " Yeah." "Shawn, I'd like you to meet Maxwell Blair." "I've been telling him about you." " Really?" " Shawn, let me be blunt." "I'd be willing to pay a lot of money to see you in my pants." "Sorry, I got a girlfriend, pal." "I want you to model my new line of clothes... in my fashion show tomorrow night!" "Really?" "I would love..." "He would love to, but he's busy tomorrow night." "I'm all yours, though." "Actually, I am not busy, and I would love to model for you tomorrow night." "Fabulous!" "And if you do well, you very well could be... the next Maxwell Blair supermodel." "Come, learn from me." " Fame!" " Supermodel?" "Supermodel?" "He's a super thief!" "First, Lucky the wino, and now this?" " Marlon!" " Don't touch me!" "And shave your back!" " Guess what, Pops." " What?" "I just got a booking at a major fashion show tonight!" "You what?" "Shut up!" "We don't want the whole neighborhood to hear." "No, this is good news." "See, if I do well, I could be making up to §1,000 an hour." "§1,000 an hour?" "What kind of tricks are you turning, boy?" "I'm just modeling." "They're paying just to look at me." "Now you promise me something." "If you make it big..." "I know." "Take Marlon with me." "No." "The hell with that." "I want a Cadillac." "I want a gold tooth." "I want an uptown apartment your mother knows nothing about." " Lisa!" " Don't Lisa me!" "I got your message about the fashion show." "You're supposed to be taking your courier exam." "Baby, I don't need to be taking no stupid courier exam." "With the money I'll be making modeling, I'll be able to buy you anything you want." "Besides, I'm much too good-Iooking to be a dispatcher." "Shawn, I don't even know if I like the idea of you modeling." "What happens if you make it big and girls start throwing themselves at you?" "What will happen to us?" "We'll split up." "I'm only playing, girl." "Come on!" "I was just joking around." "Marlon, you're late." "Deadbeat kid." "You ain't gonna get no job better than this." "You ain't like your brother." "Ain't nobody gonna spend §1,000 to look at you." "Get in the kitchen and dump the fat bucket." "I'll dump the fat bucket, all right." "Release all that anger, man." "Stop it." "We all have to accept our gifts." "I mean, I was blessed with talent... and you were blessed with a brother that has talent." "See, you're our family's very own Tito." "See, this isn't even fair, man." "You got everything, Shawn!" "You got to be born first." "You look like Pops." "I look like Mom, Shawn!" "Now this?" "When is it my turn to shine?" "All right, look, Fievel." "If you don't want me to do the fashion show, just tell me." " I don't want you to do the fashion show." " Forget you!" "I'm doing it!" "I don't understand this." "I finally get to do something great, and ain't nobody backing me up!" "I'll back you up, son." "You just remember to back that Eldorado up in my garage!" "Thanks, Pop." "I knew I could count on your greedy behind." "I'm off to my fashion show." "Anybody coming with me?" "Lisa?" "Coming?" "So be it, peasant." "Here's a few shillings." "Go get yourself some stew." "I'm off to do my show." "Come, Lisa." "I don't want your stupid money!" "I do." "Those Eldorados are gas guzzlers." "Maxwell, this is Shawn's father." "Howdy do?" "He must be Shawn's father." "The resemblance is unmistakable." "But you should have seen me in my day." "I was pretty as a schoolgirl." "Let me ask you a question." "What kind of underpants do you wear?" "Hi, sweet mouth." "What's your name?" " Marlon, how did you get in here?" " I just told them I was Grace Jones." "Look, Shawn, I just came by to apologize and wish you luck." "Why?" "After you left the restaurant, I went home to burn all your stuff." "And underneath all the ashes, I found this picture." "Remember that?" "Remember how you used to ride me on the handlebars of your bike?" "And then that one day you stopped short and I went flying down the block?" "Yeah." "That bus came out of nowhere, boy." "That's the last picture of me when my head was still round." "Those were the days." "Look, Shawn." "You was right, kid." "This is your big shot, and I want to be there for you." "Thanks, kid, but I'm busy now." "Shawn." "Come on, you're on right now." "All right." "Collar up." "That's my boy!" "Everybody, that's my son!" "Thief!" "He stole my spotlight." "They should be loving me!" "Me, I tell you!" "God, he's hot!" "You're not his type." "Back off, Grandma." "Grandma's done things you haven't even thought of." "Yeah, probably with Frederick Douglass." "Hush up!" "That's my son up there!" "What the hell is that?" "I don't know, but he's not my boy." "What are you doing here?" "I'm stealing my spotlight." "This is my destiny!" "You look like a gay Aladdin." "Oh, it is on now, Miss Thing!" "God!" "Are you crazy?" "That's silk!" "Sorry, everyone, but as you can see, we must stop." "Get your hands off my boys." "Wait a minute, boys!" "I just want to apologize if I ruined your modeling debut." "It's all right, kid." "I never should have been there in the first place." "I got caught up in what I thought it would mean for me and Lisa." "Aren't you going to say, "I told you so"?" "No, Shawn." "I'm not going to say how you had a chance to take that courier test to get promotion." "But, no, you had to be a big star and spend §300 parading around... crushing your brother's dreams and tossing my feelings aside!" "You must feel so rotten and miserable right now..." "I don't think I can bring myself to say the words, "I told you so"!" "Damn, baby, you sure can suck in some air." "Look, I'll make it up to both of you guys." "You don't have to make anything up to me." "Good, 'cause I didn't have anything for you." "But I got something for you." "Lucky!" "I haven't seen you in years!" "Come here, you wino!" "Come give me a hug, you bum!" "Come here, Lucky!" "See?" "Now we're all happy." "I got my Lucky, you got your man back... and Pop got his contract." "Maxwell Blair's Jockey Thong... for the man who's packing a little bit more." "Yes, sir." "A little bit more." "It sure was good seeing old Lucky." "Yeah, it sure was." "You know, except for his teeth, he ain't changed much." "God, yeah!" "It's hard to believe he's only 23." " Want some more Ripple?" " No, thanks." "None for me." "I just got to get some more flea powder." "Look up, Marlon." "Say, "Cheese."" "English"