"BESSARABIA, the eastern part of the old Moldavia, was incorporated by the Russian Empire in 1812." "Towards the end of WW I it became independent and united with Romania." "During WW II an agreement between Hitler and Stalin brought it under soviet control." "Today, 1/3 of its territory belongs to Ukraine and 2/3 to the Republic of Moldova." "Will you stop bossing me around?" "Why did you call me a silly goose in front of your mother and Johnny?" "I said little goose... because I always have to explain things to you 1,000 times." " What things?" " That I don't like frankfurters!" "1001." "Hey, take it somewhere else, will you?" " I paid for those frankfurters." " I'll pay you back." " So pay me!" " In my own time!" " Stop playing Stalin!" "Ponimayesh?" " I said, pay!" " Here!" " Idiot!" "You hate cheese too, but you eat it when it's from your mother!" "I always eat my mother's food, it has no artificial flavours." " Your mother always comes first." " You're in third place." "My baton, my mother, then you." "1002." "Turn that soap opera down!" "Go to sleep, pops, will you?" "Stop looking for trouble!" " I'll just have a cigarette, please!" " No!" "You're not going anywhere." " You promised we'd start saving money!" " Along the Don" "Don't touch my face, you idiot!" " Don't hold me so tight!" "..." " Along the Don" " I'll just go have a cigarette!" " No way!" "Along the Don" "A young Cossack is walking..." "Don't ever touch my face again!" " Idiot!" " Hey!" "Just one beer and you're so aggressive?" "You drunkard!" "Pops, aren't you sleepy?" "Isn't it bedtime already?" "Hey, Vlad, remember:" "never give in!" "I want you to apologise for calling me an idiot and a drunkard!" "You should apologise for calling me a silly goose!" "I said little goose." "You don't love me." "So divorce me..." " Do you want walnut-stuffed plums?" " Have you been wasting money again?" "I made them myself!" "Can you make walnut-stuffed plums?" "You fool!" "I'll eat them myself." "Stop staring at me like that!" "You know I like to look at you." "Who's more beautiful, me or your mother?" "Third place." "Well, third place is off-limits for the next three days." "You must be joking!" "..." "Good morning!" "Any drugs?" "Weapons?" "Valuables?" "Jewellery?" "We're just prospecting the market." "We'll bring them next time." "Shall I have a look inside your luggage and see for myself?" "Come on, Miss, that was a joke!" "We're good guys, tourists." " Any money exceeding the limit?" " What's the limit?" "10,000 euros per person, no documents required." " And for the return trip?" " The same." " Thank you!" " Just a second!" "You never know, you might come to Romania!" "..." " Have a good trip and a nice stay!" " Thank you!" "So, Vica, what's the story with the rails again?" "I still don't get how they change the train wheels." "There are 2 sets of rails:" "yours are narrow, ours are wide." "They lift the carriage and change the wheels - and that's all." "Hey, maestro!" "If the border police looks like that, imagine the chicks in Kishinev!" "Can I see your passports, please?" "Is it OK if I tape you?" "Let me see that doily, sis!" "It's a gift for our relatives." " Did you bring your folk costume?" " I brought your grandma's." "The one with the butterflies or the one with the beads?" "Butterflies." "I want them to see we keep the tradition." "Can you look at me, please?" ""A real son of a gun, that Stalin!" - like your father said." "God forgive him!" " Forgive Dad or Stalin?" " Your father." "How did he get that idea with the different wheels?" "Welcome home!" "Are you travelling together?" "Yes." "This is my husband, his mother, and his uncle." "Johnny Scarlat, talent agent." "What's the purpose of your visit to the Republic of Moldova?" "WEDDING IN BESSARABIA" "Yup!" "The Transnistrian guy wouldn't let me have the tent unless I rented a Katyusha too." "I mean, what was I supposed to do with it?" "I needed a tent, not war gear." "But he kept saying "Niet, niet."" "Apparently, that's the rule:" "One tent - one Katyusha." "So I said, "Can't you let me have it without the Katyusha?". "Niet!"" "Good thing he didn't give me a tank and two paramedics..." "Senia, our guests might be tired!" "Let's get going, shall we?" "Let's go, brother!" "I said, "Man, I need a tent, not a military base..."" "So did you get a tent eventually?" "Valera got us a restaurant." "That's Kotovsky's monument there!" "A Soviet outlaw, a clever bandit." "He could speak seven foreign languages, poor guy!" " How much is the restaurant?" " It's for free." "Valera knows the owner." "That's the Romanian Consulate!" "They're queuing for bloody European visas." "I don't see so many of them..." "What do you mean?" "Look at them sleeping on cartons there!" " How are Mum and Dad?" " They're fine." "Otto's been ill." "Turn here!" "Yes!" "..." "Yes!" "..." "Got it!" "..." "Goodbye, Valera!" "Honoured Romanian guests, let me show you some of our landmarks!" "Just look at our beautiful little Kishinev!" "That's the Mihai Eminescu National Theatre!" "The Organ Hall." "The City Hall." "The Metropolitan Cathedral." "The Triumphal Arch." "The Holy Stefan the Great monument." "The Presidential Office." "The Flower Market." "The Metropolitan Cathedral." "The Holy Stefan the Great Monument!" "..." "Our capital is very green." "There are very beautiful little houses here!" "A kindergarten." "The asphalt is quite good here." "Hey, Senia, what's with all these billboards in Russian?" "Isn't Bessarabia independent?" "We're just cooler than you and we can speak 2 languages:" "Moldavian, which is almost..." "which is the same as Romanian, and Russian, which we can use everywhere." "Can Russians speak Romanian too?" "About as well as Romanians can speak Russian." "But Bessarabians can speak both Romanian and Russian." "Period." "Hurrah!" "The city gate." "Those two buildings look like an open gate." "The Dacia Boulevard." "It's really broad!" "..." "The Eternity Memorial." "Another kindergarten." "The Moscow Boulevard." "The Afghanistan heroes' monument." "And this, dear guests, is your neighborhood!" "Come on, Mr. Johnny!" "Hold this for me, will you?" "Vica, you and Vlad and his mother will be staying with your parents!" "The European big brother is going to stay at my place." "Valera says welcome." "He's got some business, so he won't join you for dinner." "Let's go, Mr. Johnny!" "Hello Mother!" "Hello, madam!" "Hello!" "Otto has passed away." "Please excuse me!" "Come in!" "How come you never sent me this picture?" " Otto was their dog, right?" " Yes." "So everyone's weeping for the dog?" "Mum, things are different here, they don't drag the dog to the landfill!" "He was part of the family." "They even have pictures of him!" "Find me a hanger for my folk costume, will you?" "It got all creased in the bag." "Well, where shall we bury him?" "In the yard, next to the linden tree." " I'll take care of everything, Tina." " Thank you, Oleg Ivanovici!" "Elena, will you get the pie?" "Vica, tell Dad to come to dinner!" "Dad!" "..." "Dinner's ready!" "I've written a poem!" "Otto's Song." "Otto has died, he's gone - before me." "A human heart had he." "A heart that throbbed, till one day it succumbed" "And ached, and made his legs grow weak, his sun go down," "Poor thing..." "Gasping for air, just like myself." "He cringed and moaned, and laid his head to rest," "As helpless as a lamb." "Some water Tina brought, for him to drink." "It stayed untouched, he did not take one sip." "He gave a sigh, a human sigh, and died." "My tears started rolling, and I cried." "And so did Tina and the icon " "The earth itself seemed shaken." "I can't accept it and my heart is heavy." "And, though full of his memory, these rooms are empty." "Beautiful!" "Thank you for the meal, Tina!" "I'll get back to work now." "Wait just a moment, Ion!" "I want you to ask my daughter's hand in marriage, properly!" " But aren't they officially married?" " They are, but we weren't there!" " You're right." " We're eating, mother!" "I've done that already." "The first day I saw her." "Well, young gentleman, we didn't witness that scene!" "OK, so you'd like to see a show here?" "Precisely, we'd like a show!" "OK?" "Forgive me, it's my fault that I haven't done this until now." "I love Vica." "I truly do." "And I would be very happy if you gave us your consent." "OK?" "Is he a conductor, this boy?" "We went to university together, Mother!" "He's from Bucharest." "He's just less restrained, that's his way." "Does he love you?" "What's your definition of love?" "Don't talk to me like that!" "Your sister wants to get a divorce." " Vica, we have to get going!" " Where?" " To get a dress and a suit." " No dress, we're saving the money!" "Out of the question, we have to keep the tradition!" "Valera says so." "He's paying." " Let me just ask Vlad!" " Don't ask, just tell him!" "But we need to have a shower and get some sleep!" "We have to be at the marriage hall in half an hour!" "Hurry up!" "Senia, will we get a bonus from the groom, or something?" "He doesn't have money, man, he's a conductor." "Just talk to Valera!" " But make sure you focus on bride!" " Of course." "Grisa is a wedding director and she's his assistant!" "Senia, you've told us already, remember?" "At the station." "Hi!" "But has Valeriu told the guests to bring money instead of gifts?" "At least 100 euros per person." "Valeriu says some people will give even more." "He's got a plan." "What are you thinking of?" "Excuse me!" "Are you the groom?" " Vlad!" " Good to meet you!" "Nice to meet you!" " Welcome home, Vica !" " Thanks!" "You can't find such beautiful flowers in Bucharest." "They're hard to find here too, apparently..." "Have you picked your suit?" "Let's pick something nice for you, Vica!" "Valera !" "So, godfather, are we keeping the tradition now?" "That's nice!" "..." "Now let's get you some shoes!" "Natalitza !" "It's Vica!" " Has the bachelor party started yet?" " Not yet!" "So you can stay with us for a while." "Uncle Senia, I tried them on and the heel broke." "Don't worry, I'll fix them by morning!" "You just get some good sleep!" "Didn't you say you weren't going to spy on us, Vic?" "I don't care what you guys do." "My heel top came off." " Yeah, sure!" " Fine, I'll just leave." "No, don't go yet!" "I've got something to tell you." "Sit down here!" " Have some taranka , fellows!" " Senia, can we just get some vodka?" "This taranka fish looks like it's been eaten by a dog!" "Johnny!" "The name is Se-nia, not Se-ni-a!" "Second of all, there's no vodka !" "You're supposed to drink beer with taranka ." "Right, Vica?" " Absolutely!" " And third!" "Who are you calling a fucking dog?" " You're the fucking dog, man!" " Are you fucking mad?" "That's enough, fellows!" "Now toss it off!" "I'm very upset, Vica." "Valeriu won't let me come to the wedding without 100 euros." " What a jerk!" " Mudak indeed!" "You don't have to bring any money, uncle Senia." " Tell that to him, not me!" " We'll tell him." "Here's the deal, uncle Senia:" "I'll talk to Valera and you keep an eye on Vlad tonight, so he doesn't do anything stupid!" "Vic!" "..." "Uncle Senia, will I be a happy bride or a sad bride tomorrow?" "Happy!" "You've got Senia's word for it!" "Hurrah!" " Hurrah!" " Thank you!" "I'll be going now." " Good night!" " Good night!" " Will there be any girls?" " God forbid!" "Just guys, veterans." "That's all!" "That's all Valeriu paid for!" "When is your divorce?" "What's the down payment for your mortgage loan?" "10% of the price for the studio flat, about 10,000 euros." "We'll have to be nice to Valeriu!" "..." "Your mother-in-law's not breathing." "You're free!" "Nah, just a poke and she'll be back." "I can't tell if Vlad loves me." "Remember what Dad used to say?" "If he walks behind you, it means he wants to protect you." "And that means he loves you." "What a nice bride!" "That'll be the opening photo." "Yeah!" "Valeriu always walks in front of me." "How does Vlad walk?" " I don't understand." " Can you tell me the time, please?" "It's 6:30." " What's your name?" " Ana." "I'm Vlad." "Do you know what language we're speaking now?" "Romanian." " Is it Romanian or Moldavian?" " Romanian." "What are your grades for Romanian?" " Eight." " Eight?" "Why not ten?" " Because the teacher's mean." " And for Russian?" " Eight." " Is that teacher mean too?" " What do you have a ten for?" " English." " Do you know where I'm from?" " Are you from Romania?" "But why are you talking like you're an emperor?" " A what?" " An emperor." "Do you know what an emperor is?" "An emperor is an emperor." "All right, Ana!" "Try to get a ten for every subject, not just English!" " Good luck!" " Thank you!" "..." "Who's there?" "It's me." " Who's there?" " It's Vlad, Mother." "Good morning!" "Can you open the door?" "Oh, no!" "Vlad honey, I broke the key!" " What?" " I broke the key!" "So what do I do now?" "Hey, what do I do now?" "Everything is shit these days." "Russian things used to last a lifetime." "Can you fix it, uncle Senia?" "Not to worry!" "We'll get it open soon and then you'll be off to church." "Stop hammering so hard, Senia!" "You'll break the door!" "How can I fix it if I stop hammering, auntie?" "I'm supposed to break the lock, not perform surgery!" "Go easy, or I'll charge you for the damage!" "Stop talking nonsense, you won't charge anything!" "I'll just leave this food and the chicken here." "I have to catch the bus back." "Could you give them to the Poet?" "Whom should I say they're from?" "Liusia Bobocu, from the village of Hartop, in the Cimislia District." "But who told you to bring food for the Poet?" "He wrote in "Art and Literature" how poets are starving, how they've got no one to write for." "So we thought we'd help." "We read his poems, they heal our wounded heart." " Make sure you let him know that!" " I will." "Have a good trip!" "Uncle Senia, is it working or not?" "Mum's called a taxi already!" "Sweetheart, have my suit ready and make me a sandwich, please!" "Vlad honey, shall I put on my folk costume?" "No, Mum, you'll be wearing it at the restaurant this afternoon!" "Senia, this is ridiculous!" "Can you do anything or not?" "Damned door!" "Call Valera!" "Open your arms and I'll give you my love," "I won't shed a tear, I won't be blue," "With a smile on my face I'll give you my love," "That'll be my birthday gift to you." "My love is not a blue moon shining till noon," "It's not a silly tune on a sticky afternoon," "My love is not a blue moon shining till noon," "It's a 7-petal flower in full bloom." "I'm not ashamed of the love that I feel It springs from the bottom of my heart," "It will shatter all doors and pull down any wall," "Travelling all the way to your heart." "My love is not a blue moon shining till noon," "It's not a silly tune on a sticky afternoon," "My love is not a blue moon shining till noon," "It's a 7-petal flower in full bloom." "You're not supposed to see the bride!" "Are you upset?" "You don't love me." "I love you more than yesterday." "You promised you wouldn't stay too long at the party!" "The bachelor party is just once in a lifetime." "It's over now!" "Were there any whores?" "The guys brought a stripper..." "Then we sang patriotic songs till morning." " So you didn't get any sleep?" " I'm not sleepy." "Maybe you'll fall asleep at the wedding!" " You're the one who doesn't love me!" " No, you don't love me!" "I asked you to make me a sandwich, I'm hungry!" "Here!" "OK, you love me more, but I will love you all my life." " Will you please just look at me?" " I'm not supposed to." "You're nervous." "I'm afraid I might faint in church." "Then they'll stop the wedding and exorcise me." "I suppose they could take a few devils out of you." "Thank goodness you're a saint!" " How did the tape fall into the beer?" " It just did." "It's drying now, maybe it's not ruined." "I wonder what the hell you did in Afghanistan?" " You probably just fed the pigs." " The goats!" "They're Muslim !" "Idiot!" "You can kiss that veteran pension goodbye!" "The camera died when the bride came down, we need another take." "Sure, if you pay for it yourself!" "Am I making a commercial film here, or a little art movie?" "Idiots!" "..." "What's with this badge?" "Are you a big Europe fan all of a sudden?" " Johnny gave it to me." " Who?" "The groom's uncle." "I gave him my USSR badge." "You're stupid!" "Yours was a collectible, one of a kind!" "These are a dime a dozen." "Go help the boys fix the door!" "Listen, Valera, I want to come to the church too!" " I don't have to pay for that!" " If you fix the door first..." " What?" " If you fix the door first!" "Are you deaf or something?" "Vica, where's the groom's suit?" "The tradition..." "Many happy returns..." "Many happy returns..." "Who'll be your patron saint?" "The saint protecting your home?" "..." " Saint Nicholas." " Yes." "You have to choose a Romanian saint, like St. Andrew or Demeter!" " What difference does that make, Dad?" " I agree." "May the merciful Lord bless you with His spirit and love, and let Saint Nicholas be your patron, your guardian saint!" "In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, Amen!" "Uncle, the bride is over here!" " I told you to leave the costume!" "..." " What if they can't fix the door?" "What are we supposed to do here?" "We'll just do what they do." "Vlad, what's the statue of a Romanian voivode doing here?" "Please!" "Let's hold a moment of silence for Moldavia's great ruler!" "Jeez, I wonder what they feed them?" "Walachians!" "Idiots!" "Mankurts!" "You're nothing but a bunch of mankurts!" "What's a mankurt?" "You idiotic Walachian!" "Tartars kept the hostage children with a wet leather strap around their head." "The drying strap got so tight, it made them lose their memory." "These kids with no memory of their past were called mankurts." " They couldn't remember their names?" " That's right." "They forgot who they were, where they came from..." "So what are we waiting for now?" "An apology from Vica's father." "And what's a Walachian?" "That's us, sis!" "Romanians from the south, from the old Walachia." " And why did he call us idiots?" " Vlad, apologise to my father!" " Tell him we'll change the saint!" " Ha!" "It was the saint's fault!" "No, let him apologise to me!" "If not, I'm going home and you're coming with me!" "You're wrong!" "And selfish!" "Son, I've put a lot of effort into this wedding!" "I think it'll be fine." " You'll get enough money too." "Come on!" " I'm listening." "He was an MP in Moscow in 1990, lobbying for Moldova's freedom and the unification with Romania." "I know that." "The KGB had him neutralized, he was in a coma for a whole year!" "What's that got to do with St. Nicholas?" "Andrew is the patron of Romania." "Demeter is the guardian of Bucharest." "We were talking about St. Nicholas!" ""I was born a Romanian in Romania, I wish to die a Romanian in Romania."" "That's his poem !" "And us, stupid Walachians, how can we prove we love our country?" "Should I go marching with flags, like in the days of Ceausescu?" "He's the one who owes us an apology!" "So...according to the script, we are now going to tape the bride and groom kissing in Central Park." "Let me see you by the Fontaine!" "Action!" "Open your arms and I'll give you my love," "I won't shed a tear, I won't be blue," "With a smile on my face I'll give you my love," "That'll be my birthday gift to you..." "That's it, Vica, tear those petals!" "Enter the groom !" "Yes, yes, keep going!" "The bride stops now!" "Now the groom walks around the bride!" "Faster!" "Look at her!" "Hug her!" "Kiss her!" "No, not like that!" "..." "Wait!" "You're not doing it right." "You have to hold her, look into her eyes, show me some feeling, show me you love her!" "Dunno, this take is bad!" "Cut, stop!" "Action!" "The bride starts walking!" "Yes!" "Now the groom!" "The bride stops!" "..." "Action!" "Give me more feeling!" "Yes, yes, beautiful!" "Start kissing!" "Cut!" "Stop!" "THE STATE UNIVERSITY OF MEDICINE AND PHARMACY" "Vlad honey, where shall I put this on?" " Hold on a second, Mum!" " OK, so what do I do?" "Forgive me, Madam, but your son is a bit rude." "He stopped listening to me a long time ago." "I'm sorry about the door." " No problem." "Have a seat!" " Thank you!" "Start marching!" "Welcome to our wedding!" "We're all set for the guests!" "After you shake hands with the bride and groom, please remember to put the money in there!" "I wish you happiness!" "Lots of happiness!" "Welcome!" "Welcome to our wedding!" "Vlad, you're supposed to drink with each guest." "At least pretend." " We wish you all the happiness!" " There are about 200 guests, you know!" "May you live healthy and happy, under a blue and free sky!" " All the best!" " Welcome!" "What exquisite attendance!" "What beautiful Moldavians!" "Did you know the girl's name is Ana?" "I talked with her this morning." "What if she's in love with me?" "We'll keep the notes and give her back the coins." "Why should you turn down the child's gift?" "Well, what am I supposed to do with a kilo of metal?" "I'll have it exchanged." "Here, sis, you go on taping!" "Put it in here!" "Valera, we have to tape the flower bridge moment!" "Wait till the guests are all here!" "Honoured guests!" "Welcome to our godchildren's wedding!" "It was at short notice, it's true." "So we apologise if you had to change your schedule for us." "We've got some honourable Moldavians among us tonight." "Writers, artists, composers," "Poets, deputies - all friends." "Our godchildren's love couldn't wait, so we had to prepare this quickly, to lay the first cornerstone at the foundation of their home." "I'd like to propose a first toast to the bride and groom." "May they live long!" "You can't go through without Mr. Valeriu's approval!" " Who's Mr. Valeriu?" " The godfather." "Here's a little something from the godfather!" "Good evening!" "What can you tell us about the wedding?" " It's quite Moldavian." " Has the fun started already?" " What newspaper are you from?" " I'm from the national radio station." "Johnny Scarlat, international talent agent." "Casting for actresses, dancers, singers, authentic talents from the Republic of Moldova." "I can offer a work permit and a two-year European visa." "I do celebrity news, not ads." "Have it your way, but you've just lost 100 euros!" "If you want the bread, you have to pay for it!" " How much?" " As much as you please." "So the groom's bought the bread, and now we're going to tear it." "Hold the bread with both hands and pull!" "Whoever gets the larger piece will be the head of the family." " You're supposed to let me win!" " Of course!" "Let the battle for power start!" "3, 2, 1, go!" "This song is about Vica." "When she was little, Vica had big, beautiful eyes." "She was a very good child." "And on occasion, for celebrations," "Vica used to sing and dance." "And everyone marvelled at her talent." "So she grew up to become a great pianist." "And one day, she left for Romania." "That's where she met Vlad, a great conductor." "Vica would play the piano, and Vlad would conduct." "Vica, you're the star that lights my night," "Shining up there, shining bright," "When I'm with you, I'm a dreamer." "And Vica would reply," "Vlad, we've been in love for so long" "It's time we finally tied the knot" "To build ourselves a future." "That brings us back to Kishinev," "I've been to their wedding myself," "And I raise my glass to them," "For they are children of Orpheus" "And love each other dearly." "Let there be light!" "Give it up for Moldova's greatest pianist lady!" "And now, the bridal waltz!" "Let the bride and groom dance!" "And if they do well, the guests will pay even more after midnight." "Don't fool around, we want to make a good impression!" "Are we dancing for money?" "Bitter!" "Bitter!" "..." "When they shout "bitter", we have to kiss!" "My parents are here, I'm embarrassed." "I wonder what actors feel when they kiss?" "Now I know, I understand at last In everything we do, be it acting or writing, it's not glory that matters the most, not the honour we once dreamed of, but the patience, the strength to bear our cross" "and to keep our faith." "Faith I do have, and it shall ease my suffering." "And when I think of my calling, I no longer fear life." "7 red." "Olesia!" "You remind me of a Russian sweetheart I used to have." "Bring me some champagne and sing "Along the Don" for me!" "Do you know it?" "A hundred and five." "A hundred and one." "I've counted them twice." "I counted them when we welcomed them." "You counted the waiters too!" "Where have you been all this time?" "Shut up, stupid!" "It was 50 euros, I lost it at the casino." "I lost 400 of mine as well." "I'll give it all back to you when we're home." "Money can't buy happiness!" "The House of Value!" "Vlad!" "Dark eyes..." "Eyes full of passion..." "Eyes full of fire..." "Serghei!" "I thought you'd never come!" "Wonderful eyes..." "It's so good to see you!" " Serghei!" "..." " Eyes I both love and fear..." " Let me have a look at you!" " Harasho!" "Ha-ra-sho!" "This is a Romanian wedding!" "Therefore... from this moment on, Romanian shall be the working language here!" "Bravo!" "The language of the Bolshevik colonists is hereby banned on the holy land of Stefan the Great!" "Our Holy Stefan the Great!" "Give me a Romanian folk song!" "Come here, sis!" "A man was dying on the stage." "A brilliant actor, passing away." " And while a spectator rejoiced,..." " ...another..." "Another cried, in a trembling voice..." "Honoured guests, wonderful bride and groom," "A loving hug from Ludmila Colohina!" "I hope you can forgive my hasty departure." "May the groom and bride live in eternal love!" "The curtain drops!" "I need a real man to walk me out!" "And now, the contest organised by the godparents for the bride and groom!" "The prize quiz!" "The godfather will pay 50 euros for every right answer." "First question for the groom:" "Will the bride's mother please stand up!" " She's not here." " She's split just in time." "Dear groom, what colour are your mother-in-law's eyes?" "Has the groom never looked into his mother-in-law's eyes?" " Brown!" " 50 euros!" "50 euros!" "They say the wife should know everything about her man, like a family KGB." "Vica, what's Vlad's shirt size?" "36-37." " Vlad?" " I have no idea." "So the groom doesn't know, but the bride does." "50 euros!" "Another question for the groom?" "What are the bride's favourite flowers?" "Daisies!" " Are you sure?" " Yes, daisies." "Let Vica answer!" " No, I like roses." " 50 euros!" "So the bride likes roses!" "You should have brought her roses at least once a week!" "Vica, are you sure that's your groom?" "Maybe you just rented this one for the wedding." "But don't worry, we'll get him with the next question!" "Pay close attention, please!" "A trial for 1,000 euros!" "Shostakovich, the great Shostakovich, could pour 50 or 100 grams of vodka in a glass without looking at it." "Because he had a perfect ear." "Can our groom do the same?" "Way to go!" "Bravo!" "Your family will do anything to irritate me, and so will you." "What did I do?" "You could have said yes about the daisies, for instance." "Vlad, my parents knew I liked roses!" " Have you ever told me?" " Have you ever asked?" " I was sure you liked daisies." " You're the one who likes them." "And stop being upset, we've won 1,150 euros!" "Vica, damn the money!" "It's all you've been talking about ever since we came here." "The material girl and the artist?" "Your games and your weddings are idiotic." "Valeriu made that contest to help us." "Not to help us, but to help you!" "You could have warned me!" "I'm warning you!" "There will be other contests too." "They'll do anything to prove that you don't deserve me!" "If that asshole calls me a rented groom one more time..." "I'll beat him up!" "Don't forget why we've come here!" "Who was that Russian guy who sang to you?" " A cousin from Moscow." " Can't he speak Romanian?" "His mother is Russian..." "Is that a problem, Mr. Johnny?" "I'll get fat." "And ugly, and you won't love me anymore." "Maybe!" "I think the lights are out everywhere." "How about a quickie?" "Don't be rude!" "What's wrong, Valera?" "Someone told the restaurant owner that uncle doesn't like Russian." "He's waiting for an apology." "In Russian." " Vlad can't speak Russian." " Well, he'll have to." "How do you say, "I like Russian"?" ""Sorry"?" "" My uncle"?" "Yes!" "I'm terribly sorry!" "We'll be fine!" "I sometimes feel a quenchless urge" "I sometimes feel a quenchless urge To drive my dagger right through stone." "To drive my dagger right through stone." "Sparks will shoot up from the stone." "Nice suit!" "Didn't they have any schoolboy outfits?" "Do you know why the lights went out?" "Because of your show about Stefan the Great." " And Holy!" " You see, the owner is Russian!" "The Russians have the light switch here." "Smart guys." "They've tamed the Bessarabians and taken all they had." "Have you noticed how sad they look?" "Left-click for Russian, right-click for Romanian." " But they can't speak either well." " Vica speaks Romanian better than us." "What would you do in their shoes?" "Total revolution, man!" "I would have banished every single Russian 14th Army soldier from here!" "Didn't you have an EU badge?" "Does it matter what language you speak?" "You're a human being!" "Let's stop talking politics, shall we?" "Hurrah!" "Calm down, you don't want to get whacked around here!" " Wouldn't you stand up for me?" " I wouldn't!" " You wouldn't?" " I wouldn't." "Did you really lose all the money at the casino?" "I did!" "That Russian woman made me spend it all." "Fuck that Stalin!" "Your mother-in-law likes me." "Either that, or she's counting every sip we take." "The lemon dance is next!" "The groom will dance with his mother-in-law!" "If they drop the lemon, they have to eat it." "Shto?" " What?" "Coolshto!" "Let's go!" "Give me one good reason why Vica should stay with a boor like you!" "Love." "Keep your hand higher, Vlad gets jealous!" "Vica, my heart tells me you're not happy where you are!" "Do you know how much a pianist like you can earn in Moscow?" "No." "1,500 - 1,800 - 2,000 euros per month." " No difficulties getting a loan." " I don't believe you." "I can get that for you, Vica !" "Can you imagine Vlad following me around Moscow?" " What's your name?" " Dunno." "Nice to meet you." "I'm Doono." "Would you like to go to university in Romania?" "Nope." "Things were better under Ceausescu." "We had everything we needed." "There were foreign products too." "Sneakers from China, sharpeners, pencils, toys, bicycles from Ukraine, lemons from Greece..." "Were the poets respected?" "They were." "What were things like here?" "The same." "Olives and fish were a poor man's meal." " You had that fine marmalade." " Ah, yes!" "We even exported it." "I like the way you dance." "I like ice cream." " I think I'm in love with you." " My father is Russian!" "It'll never last." " What won't last?" " Your relationship." "It'll never last." " What makes you say that?" " He doesn't know you." "You know everything about Elena - what good is that for you?" "Do you think she loves you?" "Maybe she just needs a European passport." "There are millions of European passports." "If she chose mine..." "Why did you choose her?" "Did you need money?" "I'm sorry, my shoe is too tight." "If I don't take it off..." " Shall we eat the lemon?" " Let's eat it!" "I hear you working hard there, so our bride must have made some very tasty food!" "..." "But our bride has been kidnapped!" "And the groom will have to pay the ransom." "The kidnappers are serious guys, veterans who have been in Afghanistan, Chechnya, Transnistria!" "They are demanding a ransom of 2,000 euros." "The groom has no money." "What shall we do?" "We'll fucking lend it to him, man!" "2,000 euros?" "Yes, this is the groom speaking!" "Senia?" "Listen carefully!" "Take the bride and your Chechnya and Afghanistan veterans, take everyone and come to the wedding!" "No, man, you don't need to bring any money!" "You're my special guests." "You can come." "Davai!" "Let me hear that drum, Vasile," "For the bride and groom," "Let me hear your loudest beat," "Cause here comes the godfather!" "Let me hear that drum, Vasile," "For the bride and groom," "Let me hear your loudest beat," "Cause here comes the godfather!" "Let me hear that drum, Vasile," "For the bride and groom," "Let me hear your loudest beat," "Cause here comes the godfather!" "It's a Moldavian wedding, Where everyone is merry," "The whole village is invited By the worthy messenger." "Let me hear that drum, Vasile," "For the bride and groom," "Let me hear your loudest beat," "Cause here comes the godfather!" "Vsyo!" " That's all!" "The money!" "Vica !" "Here's the money!" "That's a present from your uncle, who loves you!" "Thank you, uncle Senia !" "Congratulations!" "Alexandru Lozanciuc, yeah!" "..." "Vlad!" "What was the day you first met Vica?" "I don't know." "Vica !" "What was Vlad wearing the first time you met him?" "I don't know." "A question for 2,000 euros!" "Valeriu!" "Show me the money!" "..." "A question for both of you!" "When did the Romanian army first betray Bessarabia?" "Valeriu!" "I beg your pardon!" "Just a few moments and..." "I am not a rented groom." "I came here to have a wedding, to get money." "I thought you were naive..." "I thought you were... stupid..." "I'll have to get the money some other way!" "You don't have to pay anything!" "Forgive me!" "Enjoy the party!" "Music!" "Leave me alone!" "Mankurts resting..." "And you made me bring your grandma's costume for nothing." "I think I'm in love with Dunno." "I can't get her out of my mind." " I wonder if they're having cake now." " Cut it out, will you?" "Go have some cake and just let me be!" "Are you Mr. Johnny Stratulat, from Romania?" "Scarlat!" "That's right!" "There are some young ladies waiting for you at the gate." "Can I let them in?" "Tell them to wait!" "Bitter!" "Bitter!" "Vica, these people would like to go home!" "They don't know what to do with the money." " Shall we raise the glasses?" " Yes." "Vica, don't you see Vlad doesn't love you?" " How do you know that?" " He doesn't know you!" "He has all the time in the world." "Don't you want to be the most beautiful and loved woman of all?" "My little Vica!" "I don't feel like giving a speech in there, or a toast." "I've written a little poem for you and I've come to tell it to you." " Would you like to hear it?" " Yes." "You're leaving our old home, o, my child," "You're leaving your mother and father behind," "The world is as menacing as a forest at night..." "The song of the birds may delight your heart," "But there's always a beast lurking in the dark." "I like your groom." "I think he's not a mankurt after all." "Tell me, did you really come here just for the money?" "We need that money." "Honoured guests!" "Here is the cornerstone for the foundation of our children's home!" "5,000 euros!" "I'm happy to see here many of the people who came to my older daughter's wedding too." "You, my sweet Vica, my younger and wayward daughter!" "You've gone far away, and no one knows how often we'll meet!" "Be careful - it's hard to be a Bessarabian in Romania!" "To have everyone laughing at your accent..." "Your father and I have been putting money aside for years now." "You've chosen your husband yourself!" "..." "I'm happy to have given birth to a son who, as I hope you'll agree, is respectful, intelligent, moderate," "and so on." "With his father, rest in peace, I've saved 500 euros for his wedding." "That's all the money I can give, but I'll give him to you as your son-in-law." "He was an eminent student at university and now he's a conductor, a very good one." "Dear Vica!" "Tell Vlad to be a wise and tender husband!" "From the family of a retired researcher," "Here is some money for a pan and a pot!" "Let's stop saying " Bitter", shall we?" "There hasn't been anything bitter here tonight, it's all been sweet!" "We'll give you all we can, let God give you all He can!" "What's the wealth of a poet?" "Enough to buy forks and spoons..." "There is no nicer poem in the world" "Than that of Vlad and Vica, I've been told." "Here's a cheque for 5,000 Moldavian lei!" "It'll take a while before you can cash it, but you'll get the money." "All the best!" "Do you love her?" "Do you?" "Do you love her?" "Do you love her?" "We're expecting a baby." "I'm going to be a father." "Ponimaesh?" "June 28, 1940." "The Romanian army surrendered Bessarabia." "Betrayed!" "10,000 euros!" "Take it and get lost!" "Vica, may your love cross all borders!" "Just don't stop holding hands!" "Have a happy life in Europe!" "And let Europe remember that we're coming soon too!" "The wrought iron of Kishinev, represented by me, wishes the young couple a long and healthy life!" "You can always order a gate, a fence, railing, balcony, furniture, beds, kitchen furniture, all for free." "Plus 200 euros from both of us!" "And five lambs for the barbecue!" "My dear Vica !" "I haven't come here alone." "I've also brought my mother and father's best wishes." "I'd also like to remind everyone here that there are no borders in the world of creation!" "It's the same country for all of us!" "All on our planet, the Earth!" "I would be happy to welcome you in Moscow for your honeymoon!" "Vlad!" "We have to tape the last scene:" "the undressing of the bride and adornment of the housewife!" "There is just one last scene for my little art movie!" "Oh bride," "Take leave of your mother and father..." "Oh bride..." "Take leave of your brothers and sisters," "Take leave of the flowery garden." "Uncle?" "Does that mean we're not going home anymore?" "Don't go anywhere without me!" "Casting session!" "OK, we'll wait for you..." "We can offer European visas and work permits!" "Don't be upset with me For not kissing you, lad!" "Do you think I like to remember The shame I once felt?" "I wish I was an ugly girl An ugly, but daring girl." "The earth gives us warmth, Two waters soothe our woe," "The suffering of the past Fills the span of a moan." "The dewy grass can hide The painful wounds of yore," "But our Bessarabian fate Is as hard as before." "Forever fighting and burning, So often betrayed and bereft," "Bessarabia, you're the fruit of my longing," "And the tears my people have wept." "My heart is aching, mama," "My heart is aching, Please let me go to the village bee!" "Next!" "Along the Don," "Along the Don," "Along the Don," "A young Cossack is walking..." "Along the Don," "A young Cossack is walking..." "And a lass..." "And a lass is weeping there." "And a lass is weeping there." "And a lass is weeping there." "And a lass..." "You told me to love you, You asked me to be yours," "You said I should think about it, You even asked for my heart." "Oh lad, Just leave, Godspeed!" "Oh lad, I'll keep telling you that!" "Don't come here so often And please stop calling me," "It's starting to annoy me And you won't enjoy what's coming." "Oh lad, Just leave, Godspeed!" "Oh lad, I'll keep telling you that!" "Da!" " Yes!"