"How long do we have to stay here?" "Just till your dad gets back." "Why?" "Do you have some date with Mark or something?" "No." "We're fighting." "What about?" "Well, he's a pig." "The whole world revolves around him." "I swear, mother, I'm so sick of it." "I'm thinking of telling him to bug off." "Don't toy with me, Becky." "[Horn beeps]" "Finally." "[Horn beeps]" "Hey, look." "It's a little baby bike." "Get off it, honey." "You'll kill it." "I thought it was cute, so I traded it for that triumph I rebuilt." "That was a $7,000 bike." "Then what am I doing with this $8,000 check?" "Oh!" "Oh!" "We're not going to die!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "This is great!" "Can I get a car?" "No!" "But we just got all this money." "It's for us." "Yeah." "Get your own money, see." "So how much can we get for this here scooter?" "I don't know." "A couple hundred bucks." "Well-built, low mileage." "Good engine." "It's a good little scooter." "Well, let's haul it out there to the showroom floor." "No." "I don't want it out there with the real bikes." "Well, I'll take it." "No way." "Out of the question." "Why not?" "[Bell rings]" "Don't think you can't handle it." "You don't know that till you give me a chance." "Becky, I gotta go deal with a customer." "The answer's no." "Mom." "He said no." "Becky: this is so hypocritical of you guys." "Roseanne:" "I don't care." "Mom, dad sells motorcycles." "I mean, he must think that" "Can I help you?" "Yeah." "I was thinking about getting one of these." "You ever ride before?" "No." "Well, what we have here is mainly restored classics, which is perfect for the first-timer." "I like that one." "'73 Norton." "Good choice." "Go ahead." "Sit on it." "Feel it." "Dad, you're being really unfair." "I'm working now, honey." "Becky, you get back in here!" "This is great." "Yeah." "Roseanne:" "I said no!" "Becky:" "give me one good reason." "Because bikes kill!" "Ok, Becky?" "I mean, just ask your aunt Jackie." "When she was a cop, she used to scrape kids" "Like you off the street all the time." "And don't think a helmet's gonna help." "All's that does is catch your brains" "After they fall out of your skull." "[Chime rings, door shuts]" "Don't forget to tell your friends about us." "Ha ha ha ha ha!" "[Telephone rings]" "[Ring]" "[Ring]" "[Ring]" "[Ring]" "Hi." "We're unable to get to the phone right now," "So leave a message, and we'll get back to you." "Thanks." "Bye." "Beep." "Dan: what happened to, "bikes are dangerous"?" "Roseanne:" "I used to think that" "Till you said what you said." "What did I say?" ""No daughter of mine is going to ride a bike."" "That is what you said, Dan." ""No daughter of mine's going to ride a bike."" "You know, like it's ok for a boy, but not for a girl." "No." "I meant, Becky's my daughter," "And no daughter of mine, such as Becky," "Is going to ride a motorcycle." "Oh, bull." "It's true." "Oh, yeah?" "Well, if D.J. Was 17 and he wanted a bike," "Would you let him have one?" "You really want Becky risking her life on a motorcycle?" "Well, if the only reason you're saying no" "Is because she's a girl, then yes." "What?" "I'm getting a motorcycle." "No way." "Uh-huh." "Mom and dad are gonna let you have a bike?" "It's not a matter of letting me have it, Darlene." "It's a matter of women being exploited by men for centuries." "I don't believe you, Dan." "You're still, like, living in the fifties." "Go on." "Risk your child's life just to spite me." "I don't need your permission." "Mom, I'm really sorry you had to have that fight with dad." "It's ok." "I won." "Well, I guess I shouldn't pick up the scooter for a couple days," "Huh?" "You know, let dad get used to the idea." "You're not getting any bike." "Well, you were just saying" "Forget what I said." "They're dangerous." "Oh, for a girl, is that it?" "If D.J. Was 17 and he wanted a bike, you'd let him." "No, I would not." "But I would let Darlene, so figure that one out." "You know, you're worse than dad," "Because you're a woman, and you should know better." "Hey, Becky, if you want a car," "Then you can just go get a job and buy yourself a car, but you're not getting a bike!" "And you..." "What is it with you?" "All you do is just lay here on the couch staring at that stupid TV." "One dumb rerun after another." "And I do it as well as any man." "[Door slams]" "Sorry I'm late." "Sorry." "I got tied up at trucking school." "I am really enjoying it," "And my teacher told me that he thought I was doing really good." "Only he's not sure that I can handle the solitude" "That a trucker's got to live with, right," "So he dares me to sit in one one of the rigs" "For three hours, alone, no one to talk to," "No one's talking to me." "For three hours...alone." "And I did it, and I feel great." "Hip-hip-hooray, huh?" "Hello." "You guys, you're just screwing with me, right?" "We have had a fight," "And we're not speaking to each other." "Oh." "Well, what was the fight about?" "Maybe I can take a side." "D.J., what did you do in school today?" "Nothing." "Oh, well..." "That must have been really fun for you." "Becky, you going to, uh..." "You gonna run for student council again this year?" "Oh, I can't." "I got to get a job." "Sure, student council will help me get into college," "But hey, who needs a future?" "Good." "Good." "Darlene, how's that first year of high school treating you?" "Oh, don't drag me into this." "You answer her, Darlene." "Why?" "Because if you don't, she will come after me next." "High school's very educational, aunt Jackie." "You make the basketball team?" "Of course she made it." "I didn't make first string." "Give it time." "You're only a freshman." "When's your first game?" "I don't know." "What do you mean you don't know?" "I mean, I don't know." "I quit the team." "What are you talking about?" "I am no longer on the basketball team." "You didn't talk to me first?" "Well, it's my decision, isn't it?" "What happened?" "You didn't make first string," "So you're just bailing out?" "Look, I got other stuff to do." "What other stuff?" "Hey, it's not like it was gonna be my career." "Stop putting this jock label on me." "See, there you go again, Dan." "You're doing it again." "Oh, god, here we go." "Roseanne," "This has nothing to do with Becky or the scooter" "Or with women's lib." "Oh, it's just so easy for you, isn't it, Dan?" "Darlene is the jock, and Becky's the brain." "What am I?" "We don't know yet." "Darlene's got a lot of talent, Roseanne." "She doesn't want to be your little jock, Dan," "So stop using her to fulfill some of your fantasies" "About being some great girl basketball player." "Fine." "Darlene, you want to be a quitter, be a quitter." "I give up." "Quitter." "You know, I thought that was a really good point" "Shut up, Jackie." "Mother, there are absolutely no jobs" "Out there that are right for me." "I mean, I need something that'll leave me time to study" "And help around the house." "I mean, you know, what if you really need me here" "And I'm off at some stupid job?" "You know, you're right, Becky." "You should forget about the stupid job," "Because you know what?" "Your father and I have decided" "That we're just going to get you your very own little convertible." "Really?" "Yes, and you're gonna be able to drive it" "Right up to your palatial four-bedroom condo" "Overlooking beautiful lake not!" "[Telephone rings]" "Hello." "Yeah." "Darlene, it's for you." "Who is it?" "Who is it?" "It's Marcy." "What does she want?" "I don't know what she" "She wants you to pick up the phone." "How'd that kid get so damn rude?" "She must get it from dad." "Hello." "Oh, nothing." "Nah." "Ok." "Bye." "Oh, gee, Darlene." "I wish you could open up to me like that." "What did Marcy want?" "Nothing." "She called for nothing?" "She wanted to do something." "I didn't feel like it." "Yeah, well, so what are you going to do?" "Nothing." "That's what you did last weekend." "Yeah, well, I'm not finished." "Come on, Darlene." "It's a beautiful day." "I want you to go out there and do something." "I don't want to do something." "Well, I want you to." "Now come on, go on." "What should I do, mother?" "Well...ok." "You need some school clothes, right?" "I'm gonna give you my Rodbell's charge card," "And I want you to go down to the mall" "And pick yourself out something." "What?" "I don't need any clothes, mom." "Here's the card." "Just do it." "What should I buy?" "I don't know." "Go try to find something to blend in with the couch." "Oh, so that's the way it works around here?" "You lie around like a hairball," "And you get free clothes?" "Maybe if I lapse into a coma," "I'll get that car." "Okey dokey, here we go." "Now, that is espresso." "Am I right, Roseanne?" "Eew, I hate it." "Blah." "Well, it is generally enjoyed by those of us" "With a more refined palate." "I realize it'll never be the beverage of choice" "Down at the harvest hoedown." "Well, golly gee, Bonnie mae." "This coffee does taste right good," "But how am I supposed to dip my doughnut into this teensy weensy little glass?" "Little help here." "Just push the espresso." "Hi, Walter." "How's everything up in the electronics department?" "26 TVs," "And my boss wants them all tuned to MTV and sports." "Not news, not the real world." "No." "The real world's depressing." "The real world doesn't sell TVs." "Sex sells." "Right?" "Sex is all anybody wants, right?" "If the tropical rain forest" "Looked like a big pair of breasts," "We'd take better care of it." "Uh, you want some espresso, Walter?" "Fine." "No espresso for Walter." "He might explode." "Oh, come on, Leon." "It'll be fun." "All right, but take away his silverware." "Hi." "Here." "Bye." "Thanks." "Aren't you going to say hi to Bonnie?" "Hello, Bonnie." "Hi, Darlene." "Let's see what you bought." "Ok, I'll miss the bus." "Here, knock yourself out." "Ok, let's check it out here." "Wow." "Mm-hmm." "Mm-hmm." "You didn't happen to accidentally pick up" "Zorro's bag by mistake?" "Are you making some sort of a statement here?" "No, I just like them." "What's the matter?" "Nothing." "Bye." "No." "You hang out a while." "I'll give you a ride home." "Well, how long's it gonna be?" "Leon, how much longer till I'm off?" "Well, you're on the schedule for one more hour, Roseanne." "I'll just get my coat." "No." "I'll walk." "Boy." "I don't know what's with her." "She's been like this for a couple of weeks now." "She just isn't into anything." "You know what?" "Maybe she's having a hard time adjusting to high school." "Maybe." "I don't know." "Well..." "I don't know what to tell you, Roseanne," "Except if it's a boy..." "No. 'Cause remember that Barry kid?" "Valentine's day Dance?" "Yeah." "Well, she's like, really mental over him there for a while, right?" "So he drops by the other day," "And she spends the whole time just watching TV and totally ignoring him." "I mean, ok, I used to watch TV and ignore Dan, too," "But only when we were making out." "What about her friends?" "What if she's hanging around with a bad influence." "No." "Darlene always was the bad influence." "Hey." "Hey." "Watching basketball." "Mm-hmm." "Mind if I join you?" "Sure." "I love pre-season basketball." "You get a chance to watch guys that'll be on the next plane to the italian league in about 10 minutes." "Oh, and he misses the easy lay-up." "Buon giorno." "Look at this guy." "Cut it out." "What?" "I quit because I didn't want to play, all right?" "I didn't say anything." "Come on, dad." "Just do it." "Quitters never win, winners never quit." "I let go of that two weeks ago, Darlene." "Yeah, right." "I did." "Yeah?" "Well, then how come you just sat down" "And started talking about basketball?" "It was on TV." "That's not it." "All we ever talk about is basketball." "No, any time I try to talk to you about anything," "You turn it into basketball, and you run away." "Face it, dad." "All we ever used to do is talk about sports." "Well, I'm a big girl" "Right, right, and I label you." "Well, that's crap." "We used to talk about everything." "We could talk about anything." "I still want to." "Come on." "Pick a topic." "I'll yak all night." "Yak away." "Just leave me out of it." "And there she goes." "She's off." "Around the couch and up the stairs right into her room," "Where she'll hide out like she always does." "Well, let me tell you something, little missy." "I don't need to stand here" "And have you not talk to me." "I got a wife and two other kids" "That are perfectly happy not to talk to me!" "What?" "Where the hell you been?" "What's with you?" "Darlene's turning into a zombie," "And you're doing nothing." "I'm doing the best I can, Dan." "Why's this about me?" "I didn't raise her alone, buddy." "Yeah, well, you let her do whatever the hell she wants." "If it was up to me, Darlene would still be playing basketball." "Basketball is not her problem, Dan." "I know that!" "You think I don't know that?" "!" "What do you think I am, stupid?" "What are you yelling at me for?" "Because I'm angry, and I need to yell," "And you're standing in front of me, and she's not!" "Oh, ok." "Well, you keep yelling, honey, and when it's my turn to yell, you just point at me." "What are we going to do?" "Well, we'll just talk to her calmly and rationally and sensitively until she cracks." "Darlene!" "I already tried it." "It's your turn." "Darlene!" "What?" "Hi, honey." "Sit down." "Jeez." "I just did this with dad." "Oh, right, like that counts for anything." "Here." "Sit down and talk to mommy." "Can we just get this over with, please?" "Ok." "Well, I'm really worried about you, Darlene." "You're like, withdrawn and distant and..." "I just wondered if there's anything you want to talk about." "No." "Oh, come on, Darlene." "You know how impressed your dad would be" "If you'd tell me what the problem is and I could fix it?" "Why is everyone so sure that there's some problem?" "Well, because you don't go anyplace, you don't do anything." "You know, at least when you had basketball" "Basketball." "Here we go again." "Oh, come on, Darlene." "Come on back." "I'm not telling you to play basketball." "I think it's about the stupidest sport in the world anyway." "And I spent all 4 years of high school pretending like I had cramps" "So I didn't have to play it," "But I don't know." "It seemed like when you had basketball," "You cared about something, you know?" "What do you care about now?" "I care about being left alone." "Are you doing drugs, Darlene?" "No!" "Would you tell me if you were?" "If I was, no, I wouldn't tell you," "But since I'm not, the answer is no." "Why should I believe you?" "Because I'm saying it." "You can search my room, give me a blood test," "Do whatever you want." "So what is it, Darlene?" "Is it school?" "It's school, it's my friends, it's the way I look," "It's you, it's dad, it's everything." "Well, ok." "I mean, I can really relate to that, 'cause when I was" "Please, mom." "I don't want you to help me." "I just want you to leave me alone, please." "Dad, what did you do to the meatloaf?" "Well, I guess I burned it, didn't I?" "But you can scrape off the outside and still eat the inside." "I don't like it." "You didn't even taste it." "I want peanut butter and jelly." "Hey, I'm not a restaurant, ok?" "You eat what I cook, or you don't eat at all." "Jeez." "[Scraping]" "I want peanut butter and jelly." "Uh, I'm going to go see if Darlene wants to come down." "I really should talk to her." "Dan, just leave her alone." "Ok." "Tv: thank you very much." "Welcome to a brand-new season on the $100,000 pyramid." "[Continues indistinctly]" "Ohh." "Ohh." "I'm depressed." "You're not getting the scooter, Becky." "Damn it!" "What a dweeb." "Yeah." "11 Points in the game." "the bulls lead is 6." "3:36 Left to go in the half." "Michael Jordan into the front court, outside left." "Paxson between the circles plays it right side to Grant." "Horace speeds it back left to Jordan." "Michael steps in the lane." "Hangs the ball off to Paxson right side." "Now Cliff with a 13-footer out front right through." "Cliff Levingston..." "Just checking."