"I am so honored to be part of this community." "Are we supposed to haze her?" "I finally feel like I fit in somewhere." " Lean back." " Wow." "Could be Caitlyn's first post." "What do you want to say?" "Okay..." "My dad?" "All right, can I see these new things in your closet?" "I love this Tom Ford dress." "Mom has that." "That is funny." "Road trip!" "Viva la road trip." " How does it feel?" " Free!" "To be here, with all of you, is nothing but good." "Everybody seems to have pretty good vocal chords." "That's always been a concern for me." "I worked really hard." "I hated being outed by my voice." "She's never had a girls night like this." "I feel kind of jealous." "There are all these trans women out there in real danger." "Most people don't have what she has, and she may be oblivious." "I've been transitioning since I was 19." "I still haven't been able to access what you've been able to access so quickly." "Let's just be real." "It has something to do with your socio-economical status." "You're up there." "Come down with everybody else." "A lot of people who want to be seen as heroes and want to, like, save our community." "They want these kind of direct, wrap a bow around it, now this person's all better and they have a job." "Trans people have about four times the heightened extreme poverty rate as the general population, so that's very difficult to live at that level." "We made it clear to Caitlyn that a lot of girls are going to be jaded, because the things that Caitlyn has been able to achieve in a few months, some of them will never achieve those things their whole entire life." "So, taking that into consideration," "Caitlyn is still wanting to do the work to make a difference in the community." "Because even us sitting in this room, right now, have people who don't like us for their own individual reasons." "It doesn't have anything to do..." "Right!" "Right!" "Right!" "It has nothing to do with us not being good people and we can't allow that to prevent us from moving forward, doing the work that we do." "Those are the things that keep us inspired." "We have to understand that, yeah, everybody's different, okay?" "Everybody's got issues." "This is our issue, okay?" "And we're trying to deal with it," " best we possibly can." " But, you know, we can't do all this work by ourselves; we need allies." "Um, there's just not enough transgender people..." "When I came out, I had finally transitioned, trying to be myself and here I am applying to job, job after job, trying to get jobs." "And, uh... nothing." "You know, I did, I didn't want to, like, have to do this, but I ended up doing a lot of sex work." "One night I was doing it and this guy grabs behind the seat, pulls out a knife and he just starts stabbing me." "So I jumped out and then I hear screeching." "And the car screeches and turns around and he's coming back after me" " to run me over." " Oh, my God." "Society needs to see us as being normal human beings, just like the next person." "I wanted to be in nursing school so, so bad." "I had a good GPA." "I had a good ACT score." "And, you know, the first time, I didn't get in." "Okay, so let me work a little harder." "We took some classes, applied again." "Still nothing." "And I couldn't get into nursing school for, like, the sixth time, because I'm trans... that people are looking at that." "And you need to be looking at my hard work and the dedication that I put into that hard work." "It... it bothers me to this day when I see those students that I went to school with in nursing school, getting those degrees, and the only reason why I didn't get in was because I'm trans." "And I make straight A's." "I work hard." "Stop looking on the outside and start looking on the inside and seeing that we want to be just normal people." "I've lived a great life." "And I realize, in this transition... that I kind of have that privileged status." "You were a white guy." "I worked hard." "I've, you know... been able to put a few dollars away." "So..." "I'm blessed." "I'm in a wonderful position in life and boy, oh, boy, what I'm learning... unbelievable." "Um, it's shocking to me to see the struggles that are out there." "And everybody knows I am a big Ellen DeGeneres fan." "Seeing when she first came out as a lesbian, she had her sitcom going and, you know, they cancelled it right after and it seemed like so many things was going wrong for her, but then," "at the end, she got The Ellen DeGeneres Show" "I think about nursing school that way." "I didn't get it yet, but one day, I'm gonna get it and I'm gonna stay in it." "Thank you for sharing that with us." "Thank you." "That was an amazing afternoon." " Yeah, it really was." " Um, life-changing." "Blossom's passion." "I loved her passion." "She's really special." "She's really special." "To see someone who was genuinely trying, who was working really hard in school, who was, you know, getting good grades, who wanted to do something with her life, and was still being met with obstacles, still being told no." "I think that was really kind of shocking for Cait, that, like, oh, gosh, this is true, like, you as a black trans woman can't do what you clearly want to do and should be able to do" "because of these intersections of your identity." "Kind of puts it all in perspective," " doesn't it?" " Yeah." "My big problem is I'm worried about some stupid paparazzi taking a picture." "We need to have these conversations." "We can really learn from each other." "In?" "We're..." "Oh, right here." "Okay." "Hola." "What did you think of that?" "Amazing." "Okay." "This is what I want to do." "Uh..." "I was crying during Blossom's talk about what she's been through, okay?" "Andrea, you're in this." " Sit right down here." " Okay." "Andrea, our producer." "Um, I want you to take that talk that she had." " Yeah?" " I want you to edit it together." " Okay." " Okay, and I want you" " to give it to me." " You got it." "Okay?" "Um... uh, we're gonna get her on the..." "We're gonna get her on The Ellen DeGeneres Show." " I'm gonna call Ellen." " Yeah." "And... she's gonna go to nursing school" " and we're gonna pay for it, okay?" " That's amazing." " That's amazing." " And we're not gonna tell her until then." "I guarantee you..." "Ellen sees that story." "She would have her on." "We got to help." " That's amazing." " It's a great story." " That's a great story." " Okay?" "All you got to do is edit it together." "Come on." "Cait, she has the biggest heart and she wants to help everyone." "But she cannot save the world." "She's got to work on one person at a time." "And if she's able to help that one somebody, then her work is done." "One at a time, baby!" "Get it done." " Get it done." " Get it done." "Get it done." "The villa in Sonoma fell through." "I'm supposed to find a villa in a day." "It took me weeks." "She's telling me that I'm supposed to come here and have fun and... and relax." "And I'm not relaxing." "I'm actually more stressed out than I need to be." "I don't think she knows that at all." "And I think she thinks, "I'm so lucky I get to work and hang out with my best friend every single day." "And she thinks you feel the same exact way." "There's no point in my being here;" "I'd get more done" " if I were at home." " Maybe you just need to talk to her, 'cause I don't think she has any idea that you feel this way." "Because when you're around her," " you're like, "I got it, I got it... "" " No, I know, I know, I know;" "I do want to talk to her about it, but at this point, I'm not gonna talk to her about it on this trip." " Yeah." " This is the first time she's got out and I want it to be special for her." "We were best friends." "I took her to the hospitals in the middle of the night." " I know." " I nursed her back to health." "I did everything for her." "Now she's got all these new friends and it's, like, she's just acting like, "Oh, see you later."" "And she doesn't see it; she doesn't." " Look at Chandi!" " Put a ring on it." "I hate skates." "Oh!" "Look at Candis!" "She's so good!" "Some days it's so heavy, we have to let it go sometimes and have fun." " Ooh!" " Uh-oh." "Okay." "Who's more attracted to men?" " Raise your hand." " Is that a hand?" "I..." "I don't know." "You would feel so much more feminine if you were with a guy." " Wait, what?" " Right." "You gonna date women, you gonna date men?" "I don't know." "All right." "Ready." "Ready for a roller derby." "My question, Candis..." " Yeah?" " How did you get that voice?" " I just had it." " Just had it?" "You never had any adjustments, nothing?" " Nothing." " You were just fortunate to have that voice, right from the beginning." "Yeah." "I work it." "I don't know, I like my voice." "I like your voice, too... no..." "I like my voice." "It works." "Yeah, it just, like, it fits you." "'Cause I know people who... who are cisgendered women whose voices are actually" " deeper than mine." " Yeah." "And that's what people say they clock me for," " is my voice." " But you know what?" "The more you live with yourself in a comfortable way, the more you don't care if people clock you, you know what I mean?" " Yeah, right." " This... this is it, people." " Yeah." " Get over it." " Right?" " Get over it." " Yeah, totally." " You know, we're gonna go go just so far but then it's..." "everybody else has to meet us." " Mm-hmm." " Right, exactly." "People also make up the reasons they clock you, after they know." "They're like, oh... once you tell them, "Oh, yeah, I could tell by your hands, your Adam's apple your voice." But show a guy a random picture of any regular girl and say, "She's trans," and they go," " "Oh, yeah, I can tell."" " Oh, yeah." " I can tell by her voice." " I can guarantee you." "They'll be like, "Oh, yeah, I can tell."" "And I've always been like," " shut the (bleep) up." " Right." "You don't know (bleep)." "Sorry I'm swearing." " That's funny." " I'm kind of from the school of thought where..." "and I hope to get Cait here... your voice is powerful." "It's who you are." "It's your identity." "You were this other person and you're allowed to be both." "You're allowed to start from one place and end in another and not completely erase who you are." "And your voice has a lot to do with... with who that is." " Let's go!" " You like ponytails, Caitlyn?" "I... you know what?" "This is the first time I've gone with a ponytail." "Okay." " Hi." " 12 to a 13." " Okay." " Somewhere..." " somewhere in there." " Okay." " Thank you for helping me." " Of course." "I hate skates." "Whoa!" " Oh, no!" " Look at Chandi!" "Put a ring on it." "Some days are so heavy and it's always work, work, work, work, work, so we have to, you know, let it go sometime and... have fun." "Look at Candis!" "She's so good!" "You and me, we have a long way to fall." " Yes!" "A long way." " So, yeah, yeah." "Sing it." " You're so tall." " I know." " That's it." "Sideways." " Thank you," " Caitlyn, for teaching me." " See, when I skate, I want" " it to go this way and this way." " Okay." "Oh, my gosh, am I skating?" " You're skating." "You are skating." " I'm skating!" " Now, where's home for you?" " Mississippi." " Oh, you live in Mississippi." " Yes." "When I graduate, I'll be the first transgender woman from my university." " Really?" " Yes." "Now, where are you going to school?" "Um, I'm at Mississippi University for Women now, and when I graduate, I want to go to DC." "I'm gonna apply for nursing school again." "I feel like there's so much more opportunity for me" " there than in Mississippi." " In the nursing" " world?" " Yeah." "Good!" "We all gotta live our dreams." "That's right." "I might have to go the alternative route, but I'm gonna keep going forward." " Yeah." " Keep going." "I really can't imagine what Blossom has gone through." "I mean, she's worked so hard to... to do all the right things, to move forward in life." "The educational system in the United States, um, needs to realize that these are just normal people." "_" "_" "_" "_" " Ah!" " Uh-oh." " Look who's here." " Hi!" "Oh!" "Well, look who's here!" " How are you guys?" " Blossom's here." "Hello, you guys, hi!" "Everybody's talking about you." "Hi." " I'm Zackary." " Hi, I'm Blossom." " Nice to meet you." " Well, let's go up there." "Let's do it." " Oh, my God!" " This is so gorgeous." " Let's go inside." " Let's go." "Remember this was, like, the last minute." " I love it." " This is beautiful." " I think we did good." " We did good?" " I didn't totally fail." " Oh, good job." "You did good, honey." " You're back in our good graces." " This is amazing." " Who's going in?" " I am, I am." " You are." " Let's go." "Chandi... party in the pool." "I've been thinking, "Damn, I'm feeling way too comfortable."" "Yeah." "It's your destiny, Cait... what's destined" " to be will be." " Did you think it" " would be this comfortable?" " I've been comfortable by myself my entire life." " Yeah." " This trip, I've been not in my house, and I've been out, feeling extraordinarily comfortable being myself." "And to be honest with you," " it's scary." " Yeah." "Because I'm already thinking, "I don't want to go back there."" "I am really enjoying the peace and quiet up here." "It is so nice to be free." "In L.A., I have the... the media coming after me, and there is no privacy." "And, you know, hey, I get it." "I'm doing this very publicly." "So I can understand that." "But it also can drive you crazy." "I don't want to go back home." " I don't want to go home..." " What do you do, then?" "I'm just having a wonderful, wonderful time here." " Right." " Yeah." "With friends and people that identify with me and I identify with them, and the stories we've had." "And no matter h... how many people say they understand and support..." " Yeah." " they don't truly" " understand." " Understand..." "Nobody understands it like everybody on this trip." "So there's... there's a comfort level being around" " trans women that I've found." " Mm-hmm." "So what do you do to combat that feeling" " of not wanting to go home?" " Uh, to be honest with you, uh, I, uh, at this point, uh, I, honestly, I really don't know." "Um, you know, I've got five weeks until the ESPYs, which will be my first public appearance." "Scared to death of that, 'cause" "I'm doing it right in front of my peers." "Yeah, that's a lot of pressure." " That is a lot." " Super Bowl champions," " the... all the guys who won..." " All the hypermasculine men." " Oh, boy." " What are you most" " nervous about that night?" " Exposing yourself to the world." "Doing it live." "Five weeks, that's the day." "It's gonna be tough." "My family..." "Not being... having my whole family there." "That's the tough part." "I want 'em to be proud of their daddy." "And they are." "They truly are." "Uh, well, yeah." "So, anyway..." "It'll be a marginal..." "I hope I can hold myself together..." "I can't even hold myself together thinking about it." " Yeah." " Yeah." " But..." "I'll do it." " You have the girls' support." "Yes, you do." "So give old Caitlyn a big old hug." " I appreciate it." " Cait is on a journey that is amazing, but, unlike her, we... our... we didn't do our journey underneath the lights and cameras, you know?" "So she has a whole nother can of worms that she's investing in by going through this process." " Well, all right." " Word!" "That is a sheer suit." "I love it." " How's the water feel?" " It feels great." "Is that... is that a one-piece?" "Uh, that's a one-piece, this is a two..." " two-piece, right here." " Okay." "All right, we'll lay 'em out on the bed." "That one rocks." "This is a one-piece." " I love my daughter to death..." " Okay." " Kimberly." " Mm-hmm." "But this is kind of, uh, one that Kimberly would wear." " Do you know what I'm saying?" " Uh, not really." " I'm sorry." " Yes." "Probably a little bit more revealing" " in the cleavage department." " Oh, I see." "Okay." "Well, you've got it to work with now." "Well, I got something to work with, yeah." " You know?" " I want to see the white." " I'm going with white too..." " Yeah." "All right." "This is the decision: it's the white, over-the-one-side-of-the-shoulder outfit." "_" "Oh, let me see this." "Look at her." " What the heck?" " Have you been swimming" " in your own bathing suit yet?" " No." "Oh, my gosh." "I can't go to the beach or to a pool unless I wear one of these things anymore." "Putting on that bathing suit represents a lot to me." "Um, kind of scary because, you know, you're really exposing yourself." "Okay, Jen, this is the big one." "I am about as nervous I can possibly be right now." "Bang, bang, bang." "Okay, are you ready?" "Yeah!" "There she is!" " We did it!" "Yay!" " Ay, ay, ay." "But I'm not getting my hair and makeup wet, 'cause we got to do this other thing, yeah." "Okay, I did it." "I got the bathing suit on." "In the water, it was nerve-wracking." "It just... yes, it felt very freeing." "And I did see my reflection in the... in the glass door." "Looked pretty good." "The ability to grow is directly related to the amount of insecurity" " you can take in your life." " Ooh." "Do you like that one?" " That's beautiful." " Jen." " I can't touch." " I'm now gonna do a magic trick." "Watch my eyelashes disappear." "Disappear." "Oh, there they go." "Okay." "Whoa!" "Okay." "Rid a motorcycle?" "I..." "No." "Don't lie." "Okay, good... okay, say so." "Never." "Never." "I've ridden one, once, with someone." "Okay, this is scary." "Okay." "There's this tendency for... for trans women to really conform to traditional ideas of femininity, you know?" "Like, as much as possible." "Let's just screw it up." "Yeah, I was just gonna say." "It's so awesome that you're disrupting that." "This is a off-road practice place, just for women." "I have ridden motocross bikes all my life, and I have all the scars to prove it." "I really thought, with the girls, I wanted... have... do something besides roller-skating to kind of get 'em out of their comfort zone, try something very new." " Hi, I'm Shelina." " Nice to see you." "I run Girlz Motocamps, and we're here to teach you guys all how to ride." "Let's do it!" "I want to see them on a bike!" "I'm gonna be right beside you, holding your hand." "We have all this group of women suited up and ready to ride, and I think a lot of us are a little bit afraid of it." "But the whole point of this is to do something new, to do something brave, and to do it out in the open." "I paid a lot of money for this chest, so it needs to be protected." "I'm about to ride a dirt bike for the first time ever in my good Southern country life." "Yes, it's amazing that I'm here and that I'm trying new experiences and everything." " Ooh!" " No..." "You all right?" " Yes, yes." " Okay, that's the worst that's gonna happen." "If you start going too fast, just pull that clutch in," " and that'll help slow you down." " Pull it in." " All right." " And it'll... it'll stop." " Gotcha." " Want to try again?" "Way to go!" "Oh!" "Hey!" "That's the stuff." "There you go." " That was awesome!" " All right, way to go!" "_" "I've learned from Cait to hang in there and you can achieve what you want when you take that time to do it." " My hand is killing me." " You need to put ice on that." "You're injured." "I kind of had a little accident last night when we were roller-skating." "Let's go." "You ready?" " Yeah." " Where's all your stuff?" "Caitlyn." " Ow!" " Oh, my God." "Look at that hand." "It's looking worse." "Grab my finger." "See?" "You can ride." "That's all you need to do." " Don't pull it." " Really?" "Yeah, that's all you need to do. ?" "All right!" "I'm riding!" "That's it." "It was so fun." "Oh." "I've always wanted to do that." "Look it, her hair's still perfect." "That's not fair." "Thank you all for coming to Girlz Motocamps." "I'm really proud of all of you guys." "This group has been through a lot in their lives, and to see everybody out there with a smile, having some fun, um, and overcoming another obstacle, uh, has been really great, and you guys did good." "I was really proud of you." "It's an experience we'll always remember together." "And last but not least, we're all very jealous of your hair." "Yeah." "Yeah, look at that." "Look at that head of hair she's got." "Oh, my God!" "Because I'm a gentleman," "I'll hold your chair for you." " To Caitlyn for having us." " Yay!" "And to everybody here for helping out on this cause." "I want to hear what it is like to date as a trans woman in our community." "Caitlyn, you start." "Absolutely nothing." "I know for a fact you've said many times that you've only been attracted to women." "You've never been..." "I've only been with women." "And only been attracted to them." "I got bigger things than an orgasm to worry about." "Bigger things to figure out." "Bigger things to worry about than orgasms." "Who's more attracted to men?" "Raise your hand." "Is that a hand?" "I..." "I don't know." " I don't know." " She doesn't know." "I've never been with a guy." "Are you gonna date women?" "You gonna date men?" "What are you gonna do?" "I don't know." "The whole dance between a male and a female..." " Yeah." " um, you would feel so much more feminine if you were with a guy." " Wait, what?" " No." " Wait, what?" " Just physically." "You would feel more feminine, like you say, if you're with a guy who treats you that way." "I can appreciate the male form, okay?" "Um..." "I love to hear you say that." "I've never heard you say that before." "Yeah." "Or you could look at..." "yeah, you can appreciate that." "Um, it... it doesn't mean that I would go that..." "I..." "I don't know," " unless I..." "I got there." " Right." "And for me, if that was the case... as far as a male/female relationship," "I would want to have the right parts." "The parts you feel comfortable with?" " What's that?" " The parts you'd feel comfortable with?" "Uh, yes, and he feels comfortable with." "But I..." "I don't count anything out in the fu..." "I don't know where it's all going." "Cait is going to figure out who she wants to date." "She says that she's never had an interest in men before, but she's hot, so what are you gonna do when men begin to approach you?" "I think I'm the only woman here who was and is exclusively attracted to women before and after and" "I'm not less of a woman or less feminine because I'm attracted to women." "Absolutely, I agree." "But that... that, absolutely, I agree, because that's the way you feel." "And it's so good that people are now having to realize that gender" " is more than just male and female." " Yes." "I want someone who is a great all-around person, regardless of whether you're masculine or feminine." "I just want you to be cool." "I want you to be somebody who I can chill with." "Um, if you like Beyoncé, that's a bonus, you know?" "Ronda." "I just didn't," "I didn't know your history." "I didn't know that you were, you were friends." "We're best friends." "Like, we would go to m... movies twice a week." "We would have dinner." "She'd come to my house." "And I miss my friendship with her." "And I feel like everyone else is kind of trumping me." "I mean, right now she is a woman walking in sunshine." "Oh, exactly." " You know, for the first time." " Yeah." "She's not gonna forget who her friends are." "The place she's at right now" " is not the place she's gonna stay." " Okay... oh!" "You know, and..." "Well, I don't know. 'Cause I feel like she's so happy and she's so, like, high and," " like, I want her to be happy like that." " Well, yeah, she'll, she'll, she'll stay high and happy." "My best friend from... from high school, he was caught off-guard by my transition." "He didn't, he didn't quite get it." "I mean, he said he loved me." "He said he... he'd follow me, but he had no idea what I was talking about." "There are times when you're close, there are times when you're less close, but you know, friendship-friendship is a long game." " No, exactly." " And, but none of that means it doesn't hurt right now, and, so, the best thing you can do is take care of yourself." "Have you talked to her about this?" "I want to, but I can't do it now." "I don't want her to know." "I don't want her to know." "What don't you want her to know?" "I miss, I miss what we had before." "You ever had a friend who... who" " got married?" " No..." " Yes!" "Yes." " Who's, and... and like, and like, the, like, the... between the engagement and the wedding..." " Yes, yes." " they were, like, and they were your best friend and suddenly they were, like," " monsters?" " Mm-hmm." "Like the Bridezilla thing?" " Well, yes..." " There is such a thing as Transzilla." "Is that what it's called?" "I, well, I would, I would never say that because..." "See, you're making me feel better, because it's like now I feel like I'm not crazy." " Thank you." " Okay." "Thank you." "I really thank you, Jenny." "Blossom, I want to say thank you for everything." " Oh..." " You're a really a great person." " Thank you." "So are you." " Go back home and I wish you nothing but the best." "Blossom just wants to make this world a better place." "And with help from friends, you can kind of conquer the world." "You can go out into the world and be accepted and be understood and be a productive citizen." "Oh, my God, that... that's perfect." "That's (bleep) perfect." "Yeah, I was getting tired of holding it just a little bit." "_" "I love you." " Candis?" " Yeah?" "I have a fashion question." " You're wearing that outfit." " Right." "With a bra that you see the straps." " Right." " Now I always wonder is that, oh, is that, like, permissible?" "In a casual setting it is." "In a casual setting it is?" " Yeah." " Mm-hmm." "A little wine tasting." "Great to meet you all!" "Welcome!" "We like to start off our celebration with a saber, so if anyone is up for sabering the first bottle that we open." "Okay, all right." "One, two..." " Whoa!" " First try." "First try." "That came off beautifully." " Just like I knew what I was doing." " It was perfect, yes." "So, cheers to your celebration." "I was always told you were supposed to look" " people in the eye when you cheers them." " Yes, ma'am." "To a great four days together." "Yes." "Outside of your own family, what woman has had the greatest influence on you?" "That's a great question." "Flawless Sabrina started running drag contests in 1959." "You're not old enough to even know anybody that was in the '60s." "Well, I love elder folks and I always have, so..." "Well, that's good, yeah, that's good, okay." "Um, Caitlyn Jenner." "Ooh!" "Baby, baby, baby!" " I'll drink to that." " Chandi," "I appreciate that." "Miss Loudon, who ran the drama department in... in the high school, Baldwin High, um, she... she was always there, you know?" " Mm-hmm." " I don't want to get emotional, that's stupid." "No, you know, it's important, the people that had such a big impact on your life." "She was, she... she helped all the kids that couldn't fit in... have a place to fit in." "So..." "Well..." "And I was one of them." "That is a great, yeah, that's a great legacy." "Outside of family, you guys have probably had the biggest impact on me ever, you know?" "And listening to your stories and what you're doing and feeling comfortable about yourself and..." "Out of women in my life," "I probably learned more in the last month about me and about life... uh, than ever before in my entire life." "Okay." "I got to say something." "Months... months and months ago," "I..." "Damn it." "I thought about doing this show." "And I thought how could I do a show that's gonna make a difference... in the world?" "And I had all these ideas." "All these things." "And I'm struggling with it." "And I'm thinking about my family and I'm thinking about all this kind of stuff and I struggled with all this stuff." "And seeing the things that you have gone through in your life and being so honest with this, and I so apprec... appreciate all your, your input." "This has been great." "You know, it just really has been great and the damn wine got to me!" "I don't know if it was the pinot or whatever, but I so appreciate your honesty." " Everybody on Jenner." " Yeah, yeah, oh, no." " You don't have to do that." " Yep." "No, no, no." "But, um, I so appreciate your honesty and all that kind of stuff." "Um, it's just been great." "What has really impressed me is, at this point in their life, how normal these girls are." "And I just see great examples of people who have overcome tremendous obstacles in their life." "And it turned out on the other end, coming out the other side, a better person." "I know, Candis, you're gonna need some Visine." "You're turning into me." "Emotional absolute wreck." " Wow." " And that's okay." "It's okay." "Caitlyn, she has a story that you should hear." " I want to hear." " Well, your transformation has helped me to understand my father in a way that I never did before." "Really!" "He used to dress up and go to San Francisco in the '70s." "He just came to us and told us the truth, that he couldn't live the lie anymore." "And he needed to move on and be who he was." "That one point that you made, about" " being on your deathbed and not living your life..." " It's so true." "It..." "I knew, you know, at that moment I knew, when he came to us and had to tell us the truth" " and how hard that was for all of us." " Yeah." "But it still... was him being free." "So wonderful to hear that story." " It makes my heart feel so good." " It's beautiful." " Thank you." "I appreciate that." " It's absolutely beautiful." "Thank you." "damn it!" "This is so good!" "I love this stuff!" "This is our last dinner together." " Cheers, everybody." " Love, love." " Love, love, love." " Lovey, love, love." "Love." "Candis talking about high school put me in the frame of mind of where I was starting to try to remember those teachers and those experiences that I had." "How was high school for you ladies?" "More light dinner conversation?" " Yeah." " Oh, God." "My experience of high school was a lot of bullying, a lot of being beaten up and teased for being, um, trans." "Which was weird, 'cause I was trying not to be feminine, but people just saw it in me." "They just, they... they could see it in me no matter how much I tried to hide it." "You know, I never had the option to hide." "I mean, I was bullied a lot." "I got," " like, death threats in my locker, I was..." " Wow." "I never was able to go into the boys' locker room." " For fear..." " For gym class." "So I would change in sort of, like, a... a remote bathroom that nobody used, you know?" "And then I would run across the school to go to gym class," " every other day." " Wow." "Have you all had fun coming here and discussing this?" " Yes!" " Oh, my God, I'm so thirsty for it." "We're actually all learning, just in having these conversations." "Yeah." "I mean, I haven't bawled like that, just talking about a teacher, in years." "Like, I hadn't even thought about that." "So all we have now is happy stories." "If I hear... if you get me crying one more time... you're going to lose your dessert privileges." " Cait, I hate to bother you..." " Jenny!" "I know you're..." "I know it's been a long day." "Look at my good boots." " Oh, those are awesome." "I..." " From motocross." " Oh!" " Lookit, they're all dusty." "I gotta take care of my stuff." "Right now, you're in this thing that we call" ""the pink cloud."" "Which is... which is this place of euphoria and happiness." " Which is..." " I..." "I do feel pretty good." " Which is good, right?" " I wouldn't quite go with a "pink cloud,"" "but yeah, I..." "I would go with..." "Yeah, I feel, I feel good." "Right." "And... and that's, that's good." " It is good." " But it also means that you can be a little blind to... things other than yourself." "The conversation that I had with Ronda last night made me feel a little funny." "I..." "I'm, I'm just afraid that you're kind of in the midst of this whirlwind and you're forgetting some of the..." " Um..." " some of the people that you love." "You've got to find a way of getting... as soon as you can, outside of yourself." "Did everybody have a good time?" " Yes, ma'am." " It was so much fun." "I can't wait to do it again soon." "Let's go climb Mount Everest!" "I don't know about that one." " Don't forget the skydiving." " We could be the first trans girls to the top of Mount Everest!" "I mean, we could do something." "We gotta break ground, here." "I'll be at base camp and I'll just, like," " cheer you on." " You'll be fine..." "If you feel cooped up at home," " I would love to come over and visit your house." " Yeah." "You got it." " Yeah, yeah." " Watch a movie." " All right, baby." " Mmm..." "We are out of here." "Good luck." "Cait has come so far." "Here's a woman who's lived largely, for 65 years, in her head." "And suddenly, she's with this whole team of... of women, having fun and learning about the community." "I cannot wait to see what she does next." "It's gonna be awesome." "Candis and I are leaving together." " But we'll see you back in L.A." " Love you, girls." " Bye." " Bye, baby." "Candis and Caitlyn in the tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G." "Seeing Caitlyn discovering this, like, this new world has been kind of amazing, because no matter what situation you're in, no matter how far along you are in one life, you have the power to change it" "yourself, with strength and courage." "Back to reality." "At some point, you gotta go back." " Yeah." " Yeah." " Face the music." " I know." "But it certainly was nice." "I really love these girls." "We're gonna be friends forever." "And I learned so much from them." "I have realized my voice is, like, the last thing to worry about." "It's about the words that come out, the importance of those words." "Not about the pitch." "Through this whole trip," "I learned a lot about life and that, to me, is the most important thing, 'cause I want to keep learning and take it day by day." "So we're home." "You ready for this?" "No." "I know." "Am I ready for these things?" "You're gonna be good." " You're gonna be good." " It is... it's just back to the "real world."" "Yeah, the real world." "Want a pickle?" "I'll have a French fry." "God, that pickle's sour." "Um... so what is the deal with you and Jenny talking?" "Honestly, what's going on?" "I feel like... everything's changed," " and it..." " Everything's what?" " Well, obviously, everything's changed." " Yeah." "But for me, the most..." "I've been working for you for two years, and..." "Mm-hmm." "we've been friends for that amount of time..." "well, me and Caitlyn." " And, yeah... and before that." " And longer." "And.. but everything's, like..." "Now it's like this, like, rollercoaster and I feel like" "I don't even exist anymore, other than, like, "Uh, where's my Starbucks?"" "We have been," " obviously, very busy." " Yeah, I know." "Um..." "Sometimes, when I get like this, you know, I..." "I kind of go a little crazy, okay?" "And I think I miss out on the important things in life." "The important things in life are friendship." "And I've always, you know, for the last two years, so appreciated your friendship." "You were there for surgeries, you're there, you're driving me, all that kind of stuff." "And if I seem a little cold, insensitive," "I apologize." "Do you realize we used to go to the movies all the time?" "Let's go to a movie right now." "Really?" " Damn it, let's go to a movie." " Okay, let's go." "Okay." "Come on." " Come on." "Let's go." " Okay." "Get your... get your little thing," " so we can get the tickets on the way." " All right." " See, you can't..." " Okay, I love you." "You just love me." "I know, I know." "No, you're supposed to love me, too." "I know." "I do love you." "No, actually, you're supposed to say, "I love you."" "Okay?" "I do." "Man, this is one sour pickle." "That's all I can say." "You made it up the stairs." "Candis and I have been spending a lot of time together." "You need the strap." " Oh, my." " Be right back." "We are freaks to a lot of the world." "We're really trying to normalize this." "The reason you want to is 'cause you don't want to be a freak." "I read the Vanity Fair." "You look amazing, but you don't have to bash us." "Don't go there." "We really haven't had a chance to talk after you sent me those tough texts." "When you try to tell me that I don't know what I'm talking about because I..." "Because you don't know."