"Hello here." "Plectrum?" "Good evening." "This is off our first record." "Most people don't own it." "Thanks." "This is our friend Lori Goldston on cello." "And this is our new guitar player, Pat." "He's a certified honorary punk rocker." "Thank you." "But he likes Queen better." "This was written by The Vaselines." "Well, it's a rendition of an old Christian song, I think." "But we do it The Vaselines' way." "One, two, three, four." "I guarantee you I will screw this song up." "So..." " What song is it?" " You know which part." "I at least know which part I'll screw up." " Thanks." " He only screws one up." "Thanks." "That was a David Bowie song." "Well, thanks." " That was..." " I didn't screw it up, did I?" "No." "OK, but here's another one I could screw up." " What is it?" " Am I gonna do this by myself?" " Pennyroyal Tea." " Do it right." " Are you gonna not sing?" " No." " Do it by yourself." " OK." "I think I'll try it in a different key." "I'll try it in the normal key, and if it sounds bad... these people will have to wait." "We'll do it over." "Do you have a smoke?" "That sounded good." "Shut up." "What?" "Really?" "Let's do it now then." "We can't play those two back-to-back, can we?" " After On A Plain." " OK." "But On A Plain's tuned down to a D." "Let's play 'em back-to-back, who cares?" "It'll be edited." "This is a television show." "John, we're gonna do Dumb now, dummy." "One, two, three, four." "We didn't want to play these two songs in a row because they're exactly the same song." "So..." "Ready?" "Can I have a little bit more monitors..." "Ian, my vocals?" "Ready?" "One, two, three, four." "Thank you." "Yeah, I need you to do a little beat so I can keep time." " Can you hear that?" " Yeah." "Thank you." "I only have three cups of tea already but thank you." " Kumbaya!" " Hurry up?" "ls that what you said?" "Remember the little black bird on Davey And Goliath?" " Little what?" " The little black bird sang Kumbaya." "No, I don't remember the little bird." "Remember that really evil episode where he was mad at this kid and he had all these visions of..." ""First, I'm going to take him up to a hill" ""and tie him to a tree, and tar and feather him!"" "It was evil." "That wasn't Christian at all." " .." "Interpretation." " Yeah." " .." "Old Testament." " Yeah." "What's next?" "We're supposed to play the Meat Puppets' song." "Right?" "OK, great." "Brothers Meat, come up on stage." " That's an evil show, it scares me." " Yeah." "It always did when I was a kid." "I thought the last one was your last one?" "Shall I go with those guys?" "These are the Brothers Meat Puppets." "We're big fans of theirs." "Strap on your gee-tar." "..Down." " What?" " Nail it down." "What does that mean?" "Nail what down?" "You want us to play Nine Inch Nails songs?" "I'm gonna read an anecdote." "Freebird!" "I've been waiting for that." "I got a free bird for you right here." "I don't know how." "What do we wanna do first?" "Time has come today." "OK." "Do you wanna do Plateau first?" "What are they tuning, a harp?" "We're a rich rock band, we should have a whole bunch of extra guitars." " OK." " That's Curt and that's Cris." "No, I'm Cris." "I'm Thing One, that's Thing Two." "Cover your hair and your eyes then." "OK, this is called Oh, Me." "You had the words." "One more." "This is called Lake Of Fire." "All these songs are off our second record." "Ready-o." "Thank you." "Thanks for your time." "Thank you, Nirvana!" "That was the Meat Puppets." " What now?" " Let's see." " Any requests?" " Sliver!" "Sliver, that's a good one." "Lead Belly." "How are we supposed to play In Bloom acoustically?" "I need a plectrum." "Yeah." "Thank you." " Wanna try Sliver?" " What?" " Maybe." "I don't know." " What?" "Sliver?" "I don't think we should do that one." "You gotta scream in it." "Yeah, I have to scream in it." "Not that I've been doing that all night." " What else you wanna do?" " D-7." "That's not our song." "We've been playing covers all night." "Rape Me." "That's for Tori Amos." " No, I'm sorry, this is the last song..." " Shame!" "This is the last song of the evening." " Rape her!" " Rape you!" "Jeremy." "Play Jeremy!" "What are we doing?" " How much time do we have?" " An hour about..." "I don't even know how to play that." "Neither do I. Everything they've been blurting out I don't know how to play." "In Bloom!" "I can't think of anything." " What about, um..." " He'd like some more requests." " Serve The Servants!" " Scentless Apprentice!" "Rape Me!" " Was that Kennedy?" " I don't think MTV would let us play that." "We can do two things..." "Fuck you all, this is the last song of the evening." "What is it?" "This was written by my favorite performer." "Our favorite performer, isn't it?" "All of ours?" "You like him the best?" "If you could give us a donation..." "Kurt wants to buy Lead Belly's guitar..." "Yeah, this guy representing the Lead Belly estate wants to sell me Lead Belly's guitar for $500,000." "We're passing a basket if anybody wants to..." "I even asked David Geffen personally if he'd buy it for me." "He wouldn't do it." "OK." "Thank you."