"THE DEATH OF JARL" "Come on, Christensen." "Yeah..." " What do you think of that?" " Your turn, Peter." "Didn't he say we were going out for a good time?" " Are we done soon, Frank?" " Don't they have air-conditioning?" " I think it's on already." " Jarl is sweating, and people stare." " It's not relaxing." " You asked me to arrange something." " It's not exactly what..." " Steak and Bowl in Valby." " No..." " Not good enough." " Bend your knees, he says." " He's almost lying down." " I'm doing it right, but..." " You've got a nice... bowling body." " What do you mean, Jarl?" " You have elegant style." " Alright, Jarl!" " Yes!" "Not bad, Jarl." "Are you okay?" "Jarl?" "Jarl?" "Jarl!" "Jarl!" "I think he's dead." " Jarl!" " Get an ambulance!" "We need an ambulance!" "Jarl is dead!" "He was actually beautiful, lying there on the floor." " He's a handsome man." " I've never noticed that." " Oh yes." " He was a bit of a sleaze." "But he looked good, lying there all peacefully." "I'm going to help out a bit with the funeral." "I feel responsible." "The others are crushed with grief." " Can I help you?" " I'd like this one, please." "Casper is really upset." "He's devastated." " Really?" " Hello." "Please come with me." "We need to clear out a misunderstanding." " What misunderstanding?" " It seems..." "This is Johan." "Close the east entrance." "A woman in a white jacket needs to be taken to the office." "Sit down." "We caught you stealing on the surveillance camera." "I'd like you to get out the items." "It seems you didn't pay for these things." "And that one as well?" "Right." "Do you admit to having stolen these items?" " Yes." " Yes." "I'd like to see some picture ID and your national medical card." "Right." "If you would sign down there in that box." "You're not welcome here in Illum any longer." "What's going on in your head?" "Well, I couldn't help myself..." "But on that level!" "You've done it several times." "And the things you steal are complete junk." " I know." " You need to get some help." " I know." " You need to get some help." "We... well..." " You need to talk to someone." " I don't need that." "Yes, a psychologist or something." "I can't talk about those things." " Don't tell anyone about this." " About your pilfering?" " And about the psychologist." " Okay, I won't say anything." " Is that clear?" " Yes." " I don't know what to say." " Just start with "hello"." " We were there when it happened." " It was quite dramatic." " What actually happened?" " Well..." " He made a strike and dropped dead." " What were you doing in Big Bowl?" "The problem is that it wouldn't be right   to let this be Jarl's epitath." "Dying in Big Bowl." "We need to link Jarl to something else." "Not Steak, Big Bowl or Valby." "It's not his style." "We, his friends, need to find another death location for Jarl." "It's no good, the Steak and whatever the hell it was called..." " We need a new death location." " Couldn't he just have died here?" " People would think he was lonely." " How about a restaurant?" " Ketchup?" " It reeks of Asschenfeldt." " We need something upmarket." " What's that place in Bredgade?" " Umami?" " Yes." "Great restaurant." " I'll go and sort it out." " Casper will take care of Umami." "That was item one." "Jarl's death location." "Item two is the opening of the will." "We've got Jarl's lawyer here." "Jes Møller." "Thank you." "The deceased set up a will with the notary on October 6, 2004." "Everyone present here is mentioned in the will, except Frank." "As Frank is not in the will, I must enquire   whether the people present can accept Frank's attendance   during the reading of the will." "Do you mind Frank being here?" "No, that's fine." "You can stay, Frank." "The will set up by Jarl Friis-Mikkelsen   contains a donation of 1 million kroner to The Danish Cancer Society." " Way to go, Jarl." " That's great." "Then there are a number of object donations." "Ole Bornedal gets Jarl's own paintings." "Peter Gravesen gets Jarl's 1962 Mercedes Convertible." "Michael Carøe gets Dean Martin's suits and two Cohen lithographs." "Casper Christensen gets the rights to "The Goofy Brothers"   and "Walter  Carlo in America"." "Bent Fabricius-Bjerre gets Jeremy Irons' private diary." "Crown Prince Frederik gets the g lasses from the Russian Czar." "Remee gets the Bayliner and the berth." "And Michael Meyerheim gets the DVD rights for "The Red Cow"." "That's fine." "I think you should run the meeting." " Me?" " I'm not part of this at all." " Hello." " Hi." " Can I help?" " I've got an appointment." " What's your name?" " Mia." "Sit down." "It'll only be a few minutes." "I'd like to meet up with Casper and then come back and get you." " Yes." " We're so busy with the funeral." " Mia?" " Yes." " Welcome." "I'm Marie." " I just want to ask..." "Is it something you can be cured of?" "Pilfering?" " I'll talk to Mia about it." " Okay." "I've got some errands." "Take care, honey." "Good luck." " That's what made Jarl interesting." " His stinginess?" "No." "He was very selective and a bit of a mystic." "I liked that about him, actually." " Hi, Casper." " Thanks for last time." " Hi, Casper." " Thanks for last time." " Peter." " Frank." " What happened?" " We..." "Frank had arranged a bowling night in Steak and... what was it?" " Big Bowl in Valby." " Steak and Big Bowl in Valby." "Big Bowl." "Just Big Bowl." "Big Bowl." "And then Jarl scored a strike and died." "We need to find a location   where we can claim that Jarl died." "Jarl's regular table was number 51." "Table 51." "Right..." " We can take a look around." " Yes." " It could be in the toilets." " I don't want that." "If we say he died in here it has to be before he ate." " But we need to decide on a menu." " He ordered, and then he died." "Schmeichel usually sits here." "He likes to be close to the exit." " So Schmeichel is there..." " The Crown Prince couple sit there." " That's their favourite spot." " Here?" "It's to do with the bodyguards as well." "Having them close by." "Table 51, Peter." "We'll go for that." "There's the omakase menu." "It means "from the heart"." "That's beautiful." "He dies of a heart attack   after having ordered a heart menu." "It means "from the heart", so it's the chef's own selection." " Let's settle on the champagne." " The champagne is settled." " White wine?" "Bourgogne?" " How about the Montrachet?" "Choose the Pouilly-Fume." "He drank a lot of that." " But Montrachet..." " That's a classic." " What's the time?" " What are you saying?" "Is it two o'clock?" "I need to go." " You can't leave, Frank." " I'm picking up Mia." " What's she doing?" " She..." " She started taking singing lessons." " Singing?" " Why?" " She's thinking of pursuing it." " In the tea shop?" " No..." "Making a career out of it." "Professionally." "I think it sounds crazy as well." "Hi." "I'm here to pick up my girlfriend." "I'm just waiting for my wife as well." " Hello again, Poul." " Hi." " Come in." "Are you feeling better?" " Yes, a bit." " Let's do that." " I really enjoyed it." "That's good." " Hi." " Hi." " See you." " Thank you so much." " Take care." " Thank you." " Bastard." " What?" " Are you coming?" " What?" " Are you coming?" " Yes." "I said to Casper that you were taking singing lessons." "He asked where you were." "I don't want you telling anybody about this, Frank." " Right?" " No, I'm not telling." "What did you talk to the psychologist about?" "Lots of things." "Well, she seemed a bit..." "She seemed a bit angry with me." "She said that..." "That you might be stopping me from expressing myself." " From expressing yourself?" " That's what she says." "As a thief?" "Hi." "What's that?" "A bill for Jarl's bowling shoes." " Why?" " Because I arranged the bowling." " Oh..." " And he was wearing the shoes." "When they took his body away." "Why..?" "I'm not paying for this." "Oh, stop it." "Just pay the bill." "I'm not in the will, and now I'm paying for his shoes." "There's nothing strange about you not being in the will." "We need to find those shoes." "Maybe they're at the hospital." "You're going too far with those bowling shoes." "That's just my opinion." "Show me another suit." "So far all I've seen has been crap." " Do you use metal hangers?" " It's from the dry cleaner's." "You need to use other hangers." "Show me those trousers." "Why do you have to look nice for a funeral?" "The guy's dead." " Do you have a jacket for this?" " It's here." "That would look good." "See?" "That's because of the hanger." "You need to stop that right now." "I have to call Peter from Umami." "I'm not sure about the table." "I can't work out if 51 is the right table." "Hi, Peter." " Mia..." " Hi, Iben." "Goodbye, Jarl." "Right." "Shall we?" " Have a glass, everybody." " Thanks." "Hi, Poul Erik." "Thank you for last time." "It was nice." "Yes..." "Is anything missing?" "Peter looked unhappy." "Is it the cheese buffet?" " This is so hard." " Is there not enough cheese?" "Jarl hated cheese, so I'm not having any cheese." "Honey?" "I'll just look around for those bowling shoes." " Why?" " Just a quick round." "I'm sorry." "Right." "Dear friends." "We're gathered here to say goodbye to a big man." "Perhaps the biggest of them all:" "Jarl Simon Friis-Mikkelsen." "It's rare for a man to become a legend in his own time." "Jarl did." "Everyone knew his talent,   as seen in "Walter and Carlo" or in his more serious roles." "Not to forget his status on TV as a modern-day Otto Leisner." "As we all know, Jarl died at table 51 at Umami." "He had just ordered omakase with kobe meat,   accompanied by a '97 Montrachet." "Unfortunately, he never got to taste the wine." "Jarl, you will be missed." "A sun is setting, a man is alone,   never forgetting, the only one." "Dear Jarl." "Goodbye." "It has been decided that we should sing,   and the chosen hymn is "The Leaves Are Falling"." "I know that Mia is currently taking singing lessons,   so what better opportunity than this to let you sing for us." ""The Leaves Are Falling"." "If you stand here." "That's it." "Thank you, Mia." "Where is his watch?" "His watch is gone." "No, he's wearing it, Peter." "I certainly hope so." "What the hell..?" "Excuse me." "Can I have your attention for a moment?" "Does anyone know where Jarl's Cartier watch is?" " What did you say?" " I'm asking about his watch." " He's wearing it." " Was he wearing it?" " He's not wearing it now." " Is it gone?" "It's not on his arm." "Jarl was always wearing that watch!" " Could it be up the sleeve?" " What a load of rubbish, Mia." "Jarl was always wearing that watch,   and now it's gone." "Did anyone take it?" "Frank, what were you looking for?" "You were rummaging in his stuff." " In Jarl's stuff?" " I was looking for something." "Is it because you didn't inherit anything?" "No." "I was looking for..." "I was looking for  the bowling shoes." "He forgot to hand in some bowling shoes." "No, he didn't." "Jarl doesn't have bowling shoes." "The ones he wore at Umami." "Jarl never bowled in his life." "Why are you looking for bowling shoes, then?" "Poul Erik has got mental problems." "He's seeing a psychologist." " Honestly..." " It's true." "What the hell's going on?" "Someone stole Jarl's watch." "Who would do such a thing?" "I'd like to know that." " Did you do it, honey?" " No, of course not." "By accident?" "No." "Where is your bag?" "Stop accusing me of such a thing." "Mia didn't take it." "We forgot to hand these in." "I got a bill for them." "Could you throw it out, please?" " Yes, that's fine." " Thanks." "By the way, we found Jarl's watch." "Could you take care of it?" " Well..." "Yes, of course." " Thank you."