" Hi Mr.." " Zabek." " Zabek." " Yeah, that's right." "Yeah, yeah." " Find it alright?" " Yes, I'm so sorry." "I was..." "No, don't worry." "Traffic's murder around here." "Did you find somewhere to park?" "Yes, yes I did." "Yeah." "Well, take a look around, you know." "Yes it's er..." "It's quite a place here, innit?" "Look at these two, eh?" "Oh my." "Are they real?" "Yeah." "They're Indonesian." "See they're a couple." " They're a pair." " Oh yes." "Oh yeah." "They come together." "You know what I mean." "The big ones have been known to eat sheep." "And they have eaten kids." "How do they get them in their mouths?" "Well, you know, they just open their mouth and..." "I like them" "I just " "I have to admit I'm really nervous." "Why you doing it then?" "Oh it's not for me." "It's for my kid." "Oh okay." "Obsessed is he?" " Yes." " Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're like that, aren't they, little boys." "They get obsessed with things." "They're obsessed with spiders and then lizards and.." " Guns - guns, yeah, all that." "Here, look at this." "What can we see in there?" "That is my big fat snake." "Oh yes looks quite slimey doesn't it." "But it's not." "It's very smooth." "Do you want to touch it?" "No." "Right." "Say hello to my little fat furry friend," " Penelope." " Well you see my son's eight." "And..." "I think really he'd like something very special." "Well I can show you my private collection." "If you like." "Yes?" " Yes please - yes." "Ok..." "Watch the maggots." "Horrible, horrible little things..." "What do you think?" "I" " I don't know what I'm looking for." "She's pregnant" " like me - like you." "Beautiful..." "Now I can't make you hold her, but, there's one down here which you will be holding..." "Where are you, little bitch." "Come here." "Come and say hello." "Come on." "Is she dangerous?" "Yes..." "Come on." "Where are you?" "Come out and get on with it." "Listen, mummy." "That's how I was made." "You can forget about that ever happening again." "Selfish bastards." "No considerations." "We may as well not exist." "But shh," "I'm here." "I have mascara days like that." "Very smudged." "This is not going to hurt one little bit." " They said that last time." " Did they?" "It did hurt and I had a massive bruise." "It was, like, here to about there." "Oh poor you." "That's not very good is it." "Probably not in control of their apparatus like nurse Jennifer." "Lovely." "So," "I managed to track down your records, you're not very easy to track down." "I felt a little bit like Sherlock and you was like the disappearing woman." "Lady lucan I think we'll call you from now on." "Yeah, can you just call me Ruth?" "Yes, of course." "Ruth." "So..." "Did you know that if you hear a really high pitched sound later on in pregnancy, you can just start spurting milk from your boobs?" "Like two rockets." "It's like boom, boom, pow!" "It's quite magical." "Why are you telling me that?" "Just so that you know you have absolutely no control over your mind or your body any more." "This one does." "She's got all the control now." "She'll be coming..." "Ok, so I didn't have much time with the notes." "Phyllis gave them to me this morning." "What does your partner do, Ruth?" "Oh." "Oh." "I'm very sorry." "I didn't know, I wasn't aware." "Well how would you know because you don't actually know me do you?" "No." "It's very important to let the past stay in the past." "It's just nature's way." "I think nature is a bit of cunt though, don't you?" "Oh, negativity is not good for the baby's spirit." " Do you think?" " Yes," "I think it's good to try to stay positive..." "And at the end of the day you've got this force of nature now inside you." "Baby knows what to do." "Baby will tell you what to do." "I think she already does." "Erm, it's just here." "Scream if you want to go faster." "It's dj o'clock." "Empty." "Dead like a graveyard." "The atmosphere in here tonight is electric." "Can I get a big oy-oy?" "Remember, guys, tickets available for Halloween." "Raise your hand if you want one." "They're available at the bar." "Any requests, come up to the booth." "I've got nearly every song." "Alright?" "Y'alright?" " Do you want a drink?" " Eh?" "Do you want a drink?" "No, I'm alright." "I don't drink on Tuesdays." " You don't drink on a Tuesday?" " No." "Why?" "No, I have a code." "And I don't drink when I'm up there." " Are you a pussy?" " What?" "Are you a pussy?" "Jesus Christ." "If it will shut up." " Yolo - what?" "Yolo." " What's that mean?" " You only live once." "That's actually something I always say to people." " Really?" " Yeah, it's something of a motto of mine." "So yeah, I'll drink to that..." "Actually tasted like water." "Do you want another one?" "You trying to get me drunk?" "Yeah." "You're a bit forward aren't you?" "Some might say." "Alright, I'm just going to lay my cards on the table here because" "I don't want to lead you up the garden path." "But I'm not after a relationship and I'm not after any sort of girlfriend or any baggage to carry round with me." "So, I'm sort of a bit too young for all that sort of stuff, you know?" "I'm still playing the game, I'm, you know, still a weekend warrior." "If you're after something a bit more serious because your body clock's clicking on and all that sort of stuff.." "Then it ain't me, I don't want any part of that." "You couldn't be more wrong." " Oh really?" " We're the same." "You don't know anything about me." "I know enough." "I've been watching you" " oh have you?" " Yeah what do you see?" "I like what I see." "Oh yeah?" "Yeah." "John, can I get another - actually I tell you what, let's get four." "Couple of shots there, girls?" "The thing is I want to get the girls beyond there a drink as well, you know." "Just so I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket..." "Girls, come on." "That's it." "Lovely." "Look at that." "1, 2, 3." "Here we go..." "That was nice wasn't it." "Oh gosh." "I'm so sorry." "Fucking hell." "What's wrong with them?" "They're both really pretty." "I mean, definitely prettiest girls in here, but, neither of them want to... you know, they've just like got no banter, have they?" "They don't know what they're missing out on, do you know what I mean?" "Yeah, I mean, I was thinking of that in my own head." "Yeah, well I love your music." " Do you?" " Yeah" " do you like 70s music then?" " I love 70s, 80s" " do you?" " Yeah." "It's my favourite too. 70s is where my heart is." "You know what I really admire about you?" "Go on." "You know your onions." "Well that's a really nice thing for you to say." "I thought you were probably going to say something about my clothes or my face or something." "You look a bit familiar." " You from around here?" " No, no." "Met you before?" "Don't think so." "I'd have remembered." "Shall we get another drink?" "No, no that's good." "Get her a   red wine - really?" " I'm on the dark side." " Well if it's fun that you're after, you've come to the right place." "Show me what you've got." "I fucking love fat birds." "You know?" "Fucking really like them." "You've got a little bit more about you." "You're a little bit more open minded." "You don't mind what people do to you, do you?" "Fucking hell." "Don't know why that made me feel all - sort of weird, it turned me on." "Being sick." "It's probably the gag reflex or something like that." "Sorry did I get some on your face?" "I thought I had beer here but " "do you think every human has needs, Dan?" "We haven't got any beers." "I thought I been out and got some but I must have drunk them before." "There's half an egg sandwich there if you want it though." "Do you think that every individual needs food, sex, love?" "Of course." "If you don't have all those things, you're going to die, aren't you?" "Would you die without love, Dan?" "I'm too young to die." "Have you got anyone who loves you?" "Yes, of course I have." "I've got my mother, haven't I?" "She loves me." " Does she?" " Yes, of course she does." "Mums love sons, that's how the world works, innit?" "Parents love their kids." "Didn't you know that?" "It's not rocket science." "This is all getting very serious." "You're putting a downer on the evening." "I was really looking forward to getting back here and having some fun." "I tell you what, I'll put on a bit of music for us." "What sort of stuff do you like?" "Dirty dancing, do you know that one?" "Course I do, I'm not retarded." "What about grease?" "I like grease." "That always puts me in a good mood." " A bit of summer lovin'." " It's not summer, is it?" "And you're not Olivia Newton-John." "You look more like Elton John." "Glass houses." "A right weird fucker you, aren't you?" "A strange bod." "Right, I tell you." "Here's one for you." ""I got it bad." "You don't know how bad I got it."" "What's this song?" "You know it?" "I love that fucking tune." "It's one of my favourites." ""I got it bad." "You don't know how bad I got it."" ""You got it easy." "You don't know when you got it good."" "It's getting harder, just keeping life and soul together." ""I'm sick fighting, even though I know I should."" ""It's getting harder, just keeping life and soul together."" "spirit is frozen to the core..." "I don't wanna be here no more..." "Do you want kids, Dan?" "God!" "What's wrong with you?" "What about kids?" "What about them?" "No, I fucking hate kids, they're annoying, they're small, they get in the way of stuff." "I've got things to do with my life." "Don't you want to share your life with anyone?" "No, not with kids, I don't." "I don't know." "I'm dj Dan." "I'm at the fun - the fun bus." "That's what I'm all about." "Get on there." "Let's stop fannying around and let's have a look at your Fanny." "Let's have a little butchers at what you're holding down there." "You're very selfish aren't you?" "No, I'm not." "How am I selfish?" "We said we wanted the same thing when we was back at there." " You're selfish - - who are you?" "Fuck me, she's all I need." "I'm Paula." "Give me a second would you?" "Sort this bag out." "Come on." "Come on, you." "Let's just get you to bed, shall we?" "I've got to do the washing." "No you haven't." "Last thing you need to do at this time of night is the washing." "That's why I've got no clothes, you've washed them all to bugger, ain't you?" "Get in there, get in bed." "Finish your chores tomorrow." "This place is a shit tip." "Get in bed, I don't want to hear another word out of you." "You see." "These are the sort of people we're dealing with." "You never said your name was Paula." "Where were we?" "I tell you what." "I cannot wait to see you naked." "Cramps your style a bit, doesn't she." "No, she just lives here." "We get on, you know?" "Oh yeah." "You smell like a stripper." "I fucking love that smell." "Fucking slutty and dirty." "You're filth aren't you?" "Do you always talk to her like that?" "Yeah, the sad thing is you know, I'm an only child so" "I get everything when she's gone and that won't be too long." "She's at that moment and everything's going, you know?" "I'm going to come at you like a dog." "Do it." "You're bad ain't you." "You're a really bad girl." "Oh!" "Something moved down there." "That's not right." "Are you fucking pregnant?" "Fuck!" "What you fucking doing?" "What've I done?" "It's messy isn't it?" "Relationships, kids and responsibilities." "What would you know though?" "You avoid all that, don't you?" "Need a bit of bleach on there." "Who are you?" "I'm Ruth." "So, let's get you into bed, mum?" "I've got to do the washing." "Danny's run out of knickers." "Don't worry, I'll put the washing on." "Aw, you're lovely, you're an angel." "Michelle." " Yeah." " I think you should leave Danny." "You're too good for him, Michelle." "I know." "Come on, let's get you in." "Pop your feet in then." " Thank you." " Nice and cosy." "Got your Teddy." "Thank you." "Do you not want a hot chocolate or anything?" "No, thank you." "I'll go to sleep now." "Alright good night, darling." "Ungrateful bastard." " You're getting better at this." " Do you think so?" "Oh yes" "I do too" "I think I'm changing." "Into something else." "It's because of you." "I'm tired." "Knock, knock..." "Don't do anything." "It's you who needs to act Ruth." "Remember." "Remember what they did..." "They're out there." "The rest of them." "They cut my daddy down in his prime." "With only a thought for themselves." "People think babies are sweet." "But I'm bitter." "Hello, good evening." "Hi, I'm here to see Ella Harding." " Thanks so much." "Could you tell me what floor she's on?" " She's on the second floor." "These people." "They make decisions about who survives and who dies." "Some of them are women." "Oh yes." "We can be the worst." "The coldest." "The most merciless." "The most ruthless." "Any questions, just..." "Hang on." "Okay sorry." "Take your time." "To be honest," "I don't know what we were thinking." "Thanks for seeing me by the way so late in the day." "It's not because it's the end of the day..." "Siobhan." "Is it this?" "Is it the pregnancy?" "Not directly." " But it's a tricky decision for a company." " I understand." "I mean you'd be taking your maternity leave as soon as you've unpacked your stapler." " Which isn't a problem per se." " What is the problem per se?" "I just - well I don't know, I just don't..." "Maybe I've got a wrong star sign or something." "Yeah, you're not a Virgo are you?" "No, listen." "We've clients come in and I'm not like this but we have clients come in and they're so stupid." "They'll be thinking stuff like - is she going to turn up at the courtroom or is she going to be off giving birth in a teepee?" "You know, stuff like that." " People are such idiots." " Yeah, I guess I was being a bit naive." " We need the money." " Well it's a cutthroat world." "Yeah." "I've actually had to make cuts already, very, very harsh cuts." "And it's been awful, really awful." "I told you - she's a merciless, frigid bitch." "Anyway, sorry but I've got to get on." "Do you always work late, alone?" "Yes." "Well I've got my priorities." "Don't you do anything else?" "Well of course." "Well" "I've got a dog." "Walk him." "Do my food shop" " I've got to eat." "I go on an odd activity weekend." " I don't take them seriously or anything, but..." " Why would you?" " I'm so busy." " You must be." "I let my friend convince me to go on one of those skydiving things," "I mean can you believe it?" "Who does that?" "I mean it's crazy, but I did it!" "I did it!" " Skydiving!" " Yeah!" " Oh right." " It was mental." "Who pays someone to throw them out of an airplane?" "It's not a substitute for a personality is it?" "Sad, lonely woman." "Be ruthless, Ruth." "Anyway, I'm sorry I wasted your time." "A little word of advice." "Get it out of your system, the motherhood thing." "You know?" "Sort out your own business before you interfere in other people's." "Oh I will..." "I'm sorry, Ella." "I've had to make some really harsh cuts." "It's a cutthroat world, you know?" "You know you should get out more and have more fun." "I really believe that." "Because activity weekends - you're never going to get a shag on those." "Might see if I can..." "It's a nice chair actually." "Where can I get one of these?" "That was perfect." "Don't get too cocky." "You'll stand out from the crowd." "Remember who's the mastermind." "You wouldn't have done it without me, would you?" "Would you?" "It was a group decision." "It was a matter of life or death." "It's a tragic incident and people are aware of the dangers but just..." "We were unlucky today." "Very unlucky, you know." "In these situations there's nothing you can do really." "Nothing you can do." "Dead eyes." "Dead eyes." " Tom, isn't it?" " Yeah." " Hi!" " Hi!" "We spoke on the phone." "Ah, yes." "Yes, how are you?" " I'm good." "How are you?" " Well." "Yeah, I'm just here for the induction, so..." "What sort of level were you interested in?" "Well, I'm a beginner but I feel quite confident actually." "I feel like I'd like to go quite advanced." "Absolutely, absolutely." "Your first time." "So you wouldn't know what to do with this equipment?" "You know, I'm kind of" " I've been reading up about it, so.." "Um, I mean, this is um, like, this is a kind of safety rope, isn't it?" "It's a rope." "Kind of think you wouldn't put more than seven people on this." "Sorry, what are you getting at?" "Are you here for a lesson?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Of course." "Yeah." "The thing is that I couldn't teach you, because of your current condition." "Alright, look, don't worry about that." "Because um, the thing is I am really fit." "I have been up to all sorts." "You would not believe what I've been doing recently." "Sure, but if something were to go wrong then I'd be to blame, you know?" "You'd be to blame, yeah." "Have you been to blame many times before?" "Sorry, my 8pm is here." "Sorry I couldn't teach you." "That's alright." " Didn't have a problem earlier, did you?" " I didn't..." "I'm sorry." "You knew I was pregnant, you were still going to teach me." "It's very slippery." "No." "No!" "I'll do it." "I promise." "I'm trying..." "You fucking do it." "I'm trying." "Just bring you up a little bit today, Ruth." "So I can have a feel around." "See how the baby is." "Oop, there we go." "Sorry, that's - that a bit better?" "Bit far down now." "I'll pop you back up." "All these new technical things do bother me." "How's that?" " Yeah, that's good." " Lovely." "Alright, so I'm just going to lift your top up." "There's a" " I like to do this." "Get my hands warmed up." "My mum taught me this." "Don't learn that at college." "Okay" "I'm just going to press here, down the side." "There you go." "Ooh, there you go." "She doesn't like that." "I'm just feeling for the head." "Well it's in this area." "It's in the stomach area." "Even I know that." "Yeah don't worry, she's got a head." "She's thinking all the time, a bit too much." "We discussed blood pressure didn't we last time." "To monitor your blood pressure." "So are you looking after yourself, eating well - how are you sleeping?" "Well she's not really letting me sleep, so.." " No?" " No." "And that's affecting your mind, your rationality." "Just have to make a few notes, you see, I have to monitor this." "It's my job to keep track of everything." "What do you mean?" "Well if there's anything untoward or anything difficult occurring," "I need to get in touch with social services." "No!" "I don't want you to report it to social services." " Well..." " Why would you report it to social services?" "Only if there's something that's bothering you but we need to make sure that you're..." "No, no, no." "I don't want you to becontacting social services." "At all." "It's not personal, we do it with everybody." "It's just so that we can see that you're alright and..." "No, no, no." "They interfere and mess around, I mean what we talking about here?" "We're talking about, what we talking about?" "We're talking about like adoption, aren't we?" " No." "Not at all." "If you tell social services about me, we're talking about adoption." " Look, you're alright." " And I know what they do." "Take a seat." "What they do is they give your baby, they steal it from you and they give it to some fucking child-hungry middle-class couple and then I won't get to see the baby again." "Do you know what it's not even going to happen because this baby is attached to me with a fucking cord." "She wouldn't even let it happen." "That's not going to happen, Ruth." "You have to trust me." "You have got to start thinking about what's best." "It's all about you and your choices." "Sit down." "What do you mean?" "What I mean is nobody is going to take this baby away from you - if you make the right choices." "You have to decide what is right and what's wrong." "Send me a sign." "Loneliness, it's the worst." "But luckily, you'll never be alone." "Because you've got me." "Isn't that great?" "I despise crowds." "Look at this lot." "Out on the rape." "The next morning they'll all be "it wasn't me"." "Animals." "A fucking zoo this town." "A kind soul is as rare as a unicorn." "Claire?" "Yeah." "I'm Josh." "Oh, hi." "Not who you're expecting?" "No, but that's fine, so..." "Come in anyway." "This is lovely!" "Yeah, welcome." "The spare room's upstairs." "There's extra rooms up there as well." "Zac's room's up there." "Yeah, Zac's Buddha's in there." "Pride of place for some reason." " Ok!" " Look, I'm just in the middle of cooking." "Do you mind if I stop it burning?" " Go for it." "Is it ok if I just put my stuff down?" "Yeah, yeah of course, make yourself at home..." " This should be alright." " Really lovely." "Thank you." "Yeah it's quite, it's all chilled out, it's a nice spot." "Yeah Zac isn't here I'm afraid." "No rush." "He's not here much to be honest, ok." "Which means he never cleans, but..." " That's a bit annoying." " Oh no!" "It's never messy, I do it." "Ok." " Yeah." "He's..." "He's lovely, he's lovely." " Yeah." " He's just kind of a bit away with the fairies." " Fickle." " No, he's kinda head-in-the-clouds." " Flawed." " He's always got projects..." " Bit of a pig." " No no no he's a lovely boy to live with really." " Ok, great yeah." "I mean do you want to sit down?" "Erm, yeah." "Sorry I don't mean to pry, but what's, you know..." "Yeah, ok, I " "I was with someone and you know we were committed and everything and he said he was ready and then about a third of the way into the pregnancy he changed his mind." "And he ran off with a 23 year-old..." " Shit." " Tv researcher with tattoos and you know it was his flat so I had" " I got chucked out basically." "Yeah." "That's horrendous." "No I mean, don't worry, don't worry about it obviously," " 'cause people have been really kind so..." " Have they?" "It doesn't sound very kind." "I'm sorry but people can be just so fucking selfish." "Yeah, they can." "Sorry, makes me feel sick." "Well I, I like kids." "So, you know." "Yeah I've got a little niece actually." "That's her" " I look after her all the time." "And that little..." " Oh that so sweet." " I'm mad uncle Josh, and yeah I love it." "I love it yeah." "I mean it's a bit different living with one though, isn't it." "I mean they just take over your life, really." "Then you have to kind of hand yourself over like some kind of a human sacrifice to their will." "Look I think Zac'll be back soon." "Do you wanna, I mean, well if I could just carry on cooking, you could have some, you could stay," " I wouldn't wanna..." " Yeah, I'm bloody starving." "Eat you out of house and home..." "No, well, I mean you could eat" " Zac's portion as far as I'm concerned." "Right?" "That's fine." " Yeah." "I don't know about you but" "I just think if you put an egg in something, it immediately tastes nicer." " I wouldn't know 'cause I don't really cook, so..." " Or anchovy, an anchovy... just thinking does Claire like anchovies?" "Right." "You're speaking to yourself in the third person, is that what we would expect from a prospective flatmate?" " No, no, no, I ok, I've just never had an anchovy, so, - are you being serious?" "Yeah!" "No, I've never had one." "Right ok, we need to change this." "I don't like the look of them." "Oh god." "Don't get them out." "Cause I think they're horrible." "Yeah, these are amazing." "It looks like the eyelids of old men that that have died." "That's what I always think." "Tasty though." "Here you go..." "Here's a tiny smudge." "No, no, no, you're not going to make me..." " Try it." "Try a smidge..." " Why is it hairy?" "It's just - these are..." "These are luxury hairs, there are hairs of luxury, this is good living, right here." " Oh my god..." " Tastes amazing, it's acquired tastes." "We will sophisticate you if you live here." " Ugh." " No?" " You've poisoned me." " No.." " You've poisoned my unborn child." " No, no." "These contain omega 3, I think you'll find, iron, calcium, probably, vitamin d." " Are you a doctor?" " I am doctor anchovy, and this is the only thing I prescribe..." "Next week I'll get you..." " Are you alright?" "You ok?" " I don't feel very well." " Oh Christ, I'm sorry, is it the anchovy...?" " Is it alright if I sit down?" " Please yeah lie down, just put your feet up." "I don't know what's wrong with me, I just..." "Can I get you a glass of water or," "I'm just really, I'm just really tired." "Of course you are." "You've been through shitloads." "On your own, I mean anyone would be tired." "You're really kind, aren't you?" "Do you want a, a cushion or anything?" "Oh my god..." " Did you see that?" " Yeah I saw the baby moving." "Aw that's nuts..." "Give me your hand." " Seriously?" " Yeah, yeah." " Did you feel that?" " Yeah that's amazing." "No one else has felt her, so.." "Seriously?" "Well I'm very privileged, thank you very much." "She's saying," ""hey mum, I learnt how to do the boogaloo, self-taught."" "No I'm not, I'm saying fuck off." "Can't you see he's just pretending?" "I think she's actually telling me to get on with it." "Stay there, stay there, don't do a thing, I'm gonna go get you some food, alright?" "You just don't move a muscle." "It'll be the best thing you've ever had, excluding anchovies..." "He's coming..." "Do it." "Do it now!" "It wasn't me." "It wasn't me!" "Fuck." "That's it." "Yes." "It was completely unnecessary to kill that man, he was really nice." "He was a sop." "A hipster sop." "Shh." "The sacrifices I've had to make." " What sacrifices?" " Children these days are really spoiled." "Like, mummy I want a PlayStation, mummy I want you to kill that man." " I don't want a new..." " I know you don't want a new daddy but there was no possibility of that so stop going on about it." " He saw everything." " I know he's a witness but there's a chance he might not have told anyone." " His name was Josh." "No you're right." "No one called Josh is not gonna tell the authorities." "He would have been like all the rest." " Inherently evil." " Look stop going on about it, I'm serious." "I'm the mother, I am in control." "You regret it." "You regret killing them." "I'm doing this because you're making me." "Oh no." "No, please no." ""Now, I want you to let a feeling wellbeing wash over you."" "A feeling of love for your fellow man." "I want you to say to yourself, 'i am love." "Everyone is kindness." "Everyone loves me." "Everyone loves my baby.' and I want you to imagine everyone you have ever met standing around you in a circle and placing their hands on your bump." "Placing their love upon your baby." "This is the world." "And they are saying," ""'we are here to protect you..."" "Listen to the sound of my voice." "You feel better now." "I feel a lot better now." "Hey..." "Excuse me, excuse me?" "Hello?" "Excuse me?" "Oh fuck." "He knows." "He's onto us." "Can't believe it, he's fucking onto us." "He hath slipped from the net whom we chased." "He hath 'scaped us who should be our prey." "O'ermastered by slumber we sank, and our quarry hath stolen away..." "Zabek..." "He was creepy." "Creepy little man." "Slimy." "Dumb." "Like a lizard." "Dan..." "What a dickhead." "He was a pig." "A total pig." "He just didn't have the balls." "Ella poor leadership skills!" " Cold-hearted bitch..." " I agree." "Done her." "Very efficient with that one." "Zac..." "Didn't speak to him much but I could tell he was a gobshite." "Total little twat." "But it was a shame about Josh." "Len..." "Len..." "Len..." "Hi..." "Hey..." "I was wondering if I could talk to you about child charity, it's a local organization that is working for children living in poverty." "I already give to charity..." "Do you?" "Which charities do you give to?" "I do sponsored runs." " Oh wow, you must be really fit." " Yeah." "Oh I'm terrible, I'm just like..." " Yeah so do you have five minutes?" " Not really." "Can I come in?" " No." " Do you have a toilet?" "You know I have a toilet." "Can I use it?" "It's upstairs." "Thanks." "Looks like I'm gonna fall over." "Oh this is nice." "Sports equipment everywhere!" "Sorry about that, I got a bladder the size of a pea." "I need to piss every 11 houses or something like that." " What are you doing?" " I thought we could discuss your donations." "I told you I already give to charity." "Not to child charity though." "I couldn't give a fuck about child charity, I just want you out of my house." "Ok, if you don't care about children." "For what it's worth, you're missing out on a really worthwhile cause." "Yeah I'll try and live with that." "So I saw all the climbing pictures upstairs." " So what?" " So I'm not leaving without what I came for." "Ah for fuck's sake, let go, you crazy bitch." "This is a farce." "Are you fucking this up deliberately?" "What are you doing?" "Fucking hell." "I've called the police." "Shit." "Better get on with it then, hadn't I?" "Stop doing that." "No." "I'm gonna cut you." "Look I told you I already give to loads of different charities." "What do you think this is, like some kind of new initiative.." "You never know with charities these days, you can't trust anyone." "Well that is true." "I mean, everyone's out for themselves." "You're insane." "I am a working mother." "It is not easy, meeting your kids' demands these days." "Stop moving forward or I will hurt you." "Tell me this like, why do people pay for like sporting activities," " I mean I just don't get it." " It makes you stronger." "Does it though?" "It's just like following an instructor like a bunch of sheep." "It's kind of weak-minded." "A lot of people searching for a purpose," "I've already got one." "My baby..." "Oh, oh I'm really sorry." "Are you ok?" "I'm..." "Do you know what really helps with pain..." "If you relax." "So if you sort of do some breathing." "Yeah, that's it." "That's better right?" "Shit." "Shit!" "Open up!" "Police!" "Open up!" "Go away you're not helping." "Open up!" "What happened to your eye, Ruth?" "It's fine, I just knocked it." "Ok!" "Perfectly healthy little baby in there..." "So, we're not out to get you." "What?" "Well there's no bad fairy trying to put a curse on her." "No, I don't think so." "I would swap her to have him back." "That's not an option." "I know but I wanted you to know that." "Okay, she can't hear you." "That's not what the baby manual says." "Well, but she can't understand English." "She can, she's very articulate." "Ruth, you missed your scan." "Don't wanna know what's in there." "I'm scared of her." "I mean, I'm not even in control, it's like I'm some crap banged-out car and she is driving, I'm just the vehicle." "Honestly, it's like a hostile takeover." "You missed your scan and that was a very important scan, she could come early." "No no no no no, no no no." " No, I need more time." " She comes when she wants to come." "I've held back on telling social services." "I've put my job on the line, Ruth, for you." "I'm very sorry about your loss and I know it's been very, very difficult for you." "But you're going to be ok." "And the baby's gonna be ok." "I'm here to help you." "What's going on?" "Whatever it is, it's got to stop." "I can't do it Matt..." "Don't make me do it." "I don't know what to do" "and reach over your head, stretch out that side." "Keep your sitting bone on the floor to really create a stretch." "Now inhale, arms up." "Exhale, hands to heart centre." "Couple of breaths here." "Lovely." "Now for your favourite part." "Get down onto your backs for shavasana." "I'd like you all to scrunch up your fists as tight as you can." "Take all the tension in your body and put it into your fists." "Hold that for five counts." "5- 4- 3- 2-1 release." "Let your whole body relax." "With that release, release all your worries." "Any concerns of what's to come." "Relax." "It's very important to let the past stay in the past." "You have to decide what's right and what's wrong." "I know what you did." "You betrayed me to that bitch." "You understand?" "You can't shake me." "I'm fury." "I'm in you." "Look." "Mummy look!" "I succumb to your will." "Baby knows best." "The instructor." "He tells people what to do." "But he won't control me." "I'm not his puppet on a string like the others." "Oh look, how funny, he's going to a Halloween party." "Dress to distress." "He won't need a costume he's already got blood on his hands." "Get on with it." "I'm doing it." "I can't go any faster." "Ground please." "What did I say would happen?" "If you don't do as I say." "Blood will be shed." "One way or another." "Monsters." "All of them." "Monsters." "No no no that's not the deal." "I can't put her in the same position..." "He was the only one who ever loved you." "If you loved him, finish the job." "It's an act of love." "It's all you have isn't it." "What else is there?" "No family no faith no friends." "No future." "Look at you." "In love with the past." "Kill him." "Or I kill you." "Jess!" "I thought I recognised you." "Oh yeah, from that climbing center." "This is what I really look like." "From the inquest." " I knew it was you." " Oh the inquest." "I didn't know..." "You didn't know about this." "Not many people know." "I kept it quiet." "Did he know?" "You're having a baby, aren't you?" "Yeah, two months." "Yeah, you see, your baby was born of pleasure, my baby is born of pain." "I found out on the day he died." "That's terrible." "You're grieving." "I'm not grieving." "I'm gestating." "Fucking rage." "Look," "I went through this, over and over again." " There was nothing else we could do." " We?" "It was a group decision." " You were in charge though." " I had to think of everyone." "It was a matter of life or death." " It was unavoidable." " It was easy." " No." " You made a selfish decision." "That suited all of you without a thought for anyone else, and you got away with it, scot free." "Who cut the cord?" " I'm sorry." " Who cut the fucking cord?" " I'm so sorry." " It's not good enough." "Not good enough." "Please." "This isn't helping anyone." "I spoke to him before he died." " What do you mean?" " I know that things weren't great between you two." " I know that he was thinking about leaving you." " No!" "Let me help you." "Jess!" "Let me help you." "I'm about to take my last voyage." "A great leap in the dark." "Good morning, mummy." "We managed to collect your things for you." "She's just normal." "She's just a normal little baby." "Well of course she is." "I told you." "And you're just a normal mummy too." "Look I know the cesarian wasn't meant to happen but when it's life or death we have to make that cut." "I understand that now." "Just be grateful you've got a happy, healthy little girl." "I know it wasn't in your birth plan, Ruth." "I hadn't really considered the birth in terms of the plans." "Ok." "Well we've got that far now, haven't we?" "It's all change." "All about what is best for baby." "I've done some really terrible things." "I've done really bad things, I've got it all wrong." "Look, we all get it wrong." "Always." "It's fine." "You see I thought I was doing it all for her, but I wasn't, I was doing it for myself." "And I've only just realised that." "'Cause she's not talking to me anymore." "Ok." "Well I'm gonna go and get your health worker and bring her in, and you can have a chat." "You can tell her how you're feeling." "And you can chat all this through with her." "How does that sound Ruth?" "Ok."