"Better off Ted s02e05 Fordította:galanm" "Since I spend most of my day at work," "It's natural relationships start to form." "But some of them can be tricky to navigate." "Gosh, ted." "It's like you were poured into that suit." "And part of me is still hardening." "See, that would've been the wrong thing to say." "Thank you, erica." "I value and respect you as a gender-neutral colleague." "I may have overcorrected, But it's important," "I always keep things professional at the office," "With one exception." "Hey, sweetie." "Wanna wrestle?" "I'm taking you down, old man." "since rose started coming to veridian's after-care," "My coffee breaks include much more roughhousing." "Ted..." "Muss up his hair." "It's the source of all his power." "What?" "No!" "Oh, no!" "Not the hair!" "Ahh!" "Now smash him with a phone." "Why will nobody in this building ever smash anyone th a phone?" " What do you need, veronica?" " We have a problem." "It's about sexual..." "Uh..." "Sexual h-a-r-ass-ment." "Hmm." "Well, I appreciate you Not letting my daughter hear the "har" part of that," " But why don't we talk about this later?" " And by the way,I'm 8.I know how to spell." "Never show your hand, sweetie." "Always let the enemy underestimate you." "Then when their guard's down, smash 'em with a phone." "We're having a problem with some of those people, who live in the cubicles." "No,they don't live in... you know what?" "I'm not gonna explain this to you again." "One of the drones Accused another drone of sexual harassment." "Again?" "..." "That's the third time that's happened to us this year." "I know." "Legal won't tell me who the sleaze-hound is." "But upstairs is very unhappy with me." "Our whole department looksike a guy at a bus station Wearing a raincoat." "We are not sleazy." "Our department is more like a hard-working squirrel" "Stuffing his nuts in... wait." "We're more like a hard-working beaver Ah, I'm not gonna land this metaphor." "Let me just go talk to the people in the cubicles, Find out what's going on." "And get them to stop coming on to each other." "It might be as simple as improving the lighting out there." "I just heard they're forcing chumley into retirement." "That's crazy." "He's the best chemical spill technician we've ever had." "Is he gone yet?" "Let's trigger the floor sensors and see if he comes." "you know, you could've used water." "As opposed to that beaker of bald eagle stem cells" "I've been painstakingly gathering For the last two years." "Sorry." "You should label things." "chumley's so great." "He's the only one in the office who's always smiling." "When he looks at you with those little blue lights," "It's like you're the only one in the world." " What's gonna happen to him?" " Don't worry." "Ted told me veridian has a place where retired robots get to run and play with other robots." "It's called the technology farm." "Ah." "God, that sounds great." "Like the place my mom sent my dog after he crapped in her purse." " I got an alert from the floor sensors, there's a spill." " Who are you?" "I'm carlos." "New spill technician." "Apparently I'm cheaper and require less maintenance" "Than your..." "Little sucky robot." "My god..." "What kind of a sick world are we living in, where machines can be so easily cast aside for people?" "Hey." "So if you had to guess who in our department was being accused of sexual harassment, who would you say?" "If I had to guess, I would say that keith guy, because he's kinda creepy." "But since I know it's me, I'm gonna say me because I want to win this game." " You?" "You sexually harassed somebody?" " It was a stupid misunderstanding." "Sheila, is everything all right?" "No, it's not." "My cat died." "Oh, no." "Senor noodlebaum?" "No, that's debbie's cat." "She's an idiot." "My cat was named meow is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country." "I just called him meow." "But meow he's dead." "He loved puns." "I'm so sorry, sheila." "You look like you could use a hug." "Oh, that's okay, linda." "I'm not really a physically affectionate kind of person." "Don't be such a tough guy." "Everyone needs a hug sometime." "See?" "Doesn't this feel good?" "We call this a midwestern handshake." "That doesn't sound so sexual." "It was just a hug that drifted boobwardly." "Apparently, later I got, as sheila's complaint says, "more molest-y."" " Linda, what are you doing?" " I've been thinking about you all day." " Ooh, man." "You're tense." " Linda, I..." "Relax, sheila." "Don't fight it." " "don't fight it"?" " Hindsight is 20/20, isn't it," "Mr. "never accidentally fondled anyone"?" "I don't think the words "don't fight it" Have ever been used" "Where someone isn't being sexually harassed." "What am I gonna do?" "I could lose my job over this." "All right, I'll go talk to sheila and straighten it out." "In the meantime, try to act like a gentleman." "Just remember, every woman here is someone's wife or daughter." "I realize it was a little awkward, but linda was just trying to comfort you." "Well, it wasn't comforting to me." "No, I get that." "But it was just a misunderstanding." "See, you haven't worked here that long, and you don't know linda." "If you did, you'd know how clumsy and accidentally predatory she can be." "You two should really get to know each other, get better acquainted." "You want linda and me to get better acquainted?" "Sure." "Maybe go out sometime after work, have some fun." "I could come, too, if you want." "All three of us could do it." "Oh, I don't think that would be a good idea." "Oh, come on, sheila." "Don't fight it." "Oh, wait." ""don't fight it"?" "You'd be surprised how easily that phrase just slides right outta you." "Sheila claims you propositioned her for a threesome." "Veronica, I work full-time and I have an 8-year-old daughter." "I don't even have the energy for a one-some." "This is crazy." " I'm gonna go talk to her." " No, you're not." "Now I know it's against your nature To sit idly by while gotham is in peril," " ...but you have to sit this one out." "I'll take care of it." " But..." "Ted, as a very stupid man once said, "don't fight it."" " Ted." " Ted." "They took our robot vacuum to transportation, but they forgot his extra battery pack." "We want to get it to him before he leaves for the farm." "Righ the farm." "Here, I'll make sure he gets it." " Mm." "We'll give it to him." " So if you could tell us where it is, because the guys in transportation Said there is no farm. jerks." " There is a farm, right?" " Right, ted?" " Right?" " There's a farm, ted." "Tell us there's a farm." "There's a farm." "There's a farm." "There's a farm." "There's a farm." " Ah, fellas..." " "No!"" "Where did they take him, you son of a bitch?" "!" "I mean..." "My immediate superior!" "Guys, I'm sorry." "I was trying to protect you from this, but..." "Well, the truth is, when robots are no longer needed," "They're sent down to the subbasement To be broken down and used for parts." "I think I'm going to be sick." "I feel like my heart has been kicked in the testicles." "Hello." "I'd like to talk to the lawyer in charge of employee sexual harassment." "That would be mr." "Thomas, and he's not here." " Hmm." "Will he be back soon?" " That depends on his willingness to accept the things he cannot change... wait." "His willingness to change what he accepts..." "No." "The wisdom..." "I don't know." "He's a drunk." "He's in rehab..." "Again." "Well, it's nice how you honor his struggle." "He does this five times a year," "But the company can't fire him because he has a disease." "He also has a disease?" "Poor drunk." "No, that's his disease." "He's an alcoholic." "And as long as he's in treatment, The company can't touch him." "The next day, veronica made a startling announcement." "Great news." "You both have a disease." " You would be a terrible doctor." " I convinced the company..." "To classify sexual harassment as a disease." "That way, anyone accused of it can't be fired or punished in any way." "I don't want a sex disease, especially one" "That's assigned to me by my supervisor." "Nonsense." "The company loved the idea." "Now it can't be sued because the harasser isn't responsible" "For his or linda's actions." "Plus, several of the executives have their own grope-y," "Squeezy, unzippy problems, and now their jobs are safe, too." "This is ridiculous." "I didn't do anything." "I don't have a disease." "Ted, I'm a hero upstairs." "Don't ruin this for me." "All you two have to do is..." "is go to harassment seminars." "We have to go to harassment seminars?" "I have a daughter." "I speak evasive mumble." "Just until you learn how to control your perverse impulses." "I am not going to any harassment seminar." "No, I am gonna fight these charges." "Yeah, me, too." "I don't like other ladies' breasts." "Some days, I don't even like my own breasts." " Although mostly, they're awesome." " Well, you'll get no argument from me." "And you two don't think you need a seminar." "Look, if you fight this and lose, you could be fired." "I don't want to lose this job." "What am I supposed to do," "Go back to wisconsin and work in the cheese mines?" "After I made that big speech, threw down my cheese shovel and stormed out?" "All you have to do, is complete the stupid seminar," "And the whole thing will be expunged from your records." "And you'll get a keepsake-quality seminar diploma..." "Also my idea." "I was on fire up there." "Look at this place." "All these innocent machines hacked to pieces." "it's like "the texas chainsaw massacre"" "If somebody massacred the chainsaws." "Chumley." "Oh!" "Look at him." "They've ripped the d.C. Solenoids from his relay module" "As if he were some sort of animal." "We can put him back together." "I fixed my marriage with mechanical attachments." "I can fix this." "I'm denise, Your sexual harassment educator, and you are the deviants." "So let's meet each other, shall we?" "Ted, why are you here?" "Because sheila's cat died, this one got grabby," "And some of the nonsense splattered on me." "Bottom line..." "I am not a harasser." " Neither am I." " Yeah, I don't belong here either." "Although I would be open to some private tutoring." "I'm innocent, too." "I just tripped And grabbed some chick's boobs to keep from falling." "Plus, she wanted it." "Is there any way I can complete this course over the internet?" "Of course you all think you're innocent." "That's part of the disease." " No, I don't have a disease." " That's another part of the disease." "Ted's really not a harasser." "If anything, he's too repressed." "Well, you are." "Okay, well, that makes perfect sense." "Ted, you sexually harass women, because your emotions are so bottled up." "They explode inappropriately." "Okay, how do I convince you that I am ready to graduate from this league of e"