"Mr Williamson." " Where is he?" " He's not in." " He's in there, isn't he?" " No..." "I don't believe you, ma'am." "You can't go in there!" "Mr Williamson!" "It's incredible, isn't it?" "Yeah." "Williamson City." "That's very... impressive." "Does it make you feel proud?" "Hm." "Mr Williamson!" "Mr Williamson." " I said, where is he?" " At the construction site." " Where's Markham?" " He's up there." " Markham up there?" " Who?" " Markham!" " I think he's over on the bridge." "Hey, Mr Markham!" "Mr Markham!" "I saw him five minutes ago when he came in." "What are you yelling about?" "Thank you, thank you." " Boy, that guy's sure in a hurry." " Yes, he is." "You wanted to talk about the dedication later, Mr Markham?" "No, Carl, I want to talk about it now." " What time is it scheduled to start?" " Nine in the morning, sir." "And you've got the seats facing east?" "East?" "Oh, is that east?" "Yeah, that's east." "We don't want the people looking into the sun, Carl." " I'll rearrange the seats, Mr Markham." " Thank you, Carl." "Beau!" "What a pleasant surprise!" " Didn't know you were here." " What?" " When'd you get back?" " Just in time, it looks like!" " What's the matter?" " Williamson City is what's the matter!" " Ah, you spoke to your wife?" " No, I didn't." "I get back from eight weeks in Europe and she's off at some phoney health farm." " Maybe I'd better explain." " You don't have to explain anything." "I found a bunch of letters between you and her and a mile-high stack of blueprints!" "It's the most revolutionary concept I ever had." " We assumed you'd be delighted." " Delighted?" "Nobody lassos my money without my consent, and that includes my wife." "There was no way to get in touch with you." " You coulda waited!" " We were positive you'd agree!" "Agree?" "Forget it, boy!" "The joyride is over!" "The machinery's already set in motion." "Well, then you unset it!" "And don't ever speak to my wife or me again." "She's too young to recognise a con man." "Consider what you're saying." "You're not talking to one of your underlings." " I know exactly who I'm talking to." " Beau, this will give you immortality." "As long as that city stands, your name will be remembered." "Name?" "Let me tell you, Jackson boy, my wallet is more important to me than my name." " You really are a Philistine." " What?" "All you care about is money." "You don't understand art." "You're trying to ruin something extraordinary." "That's right, right, right!" "If you're on some kind of an ego trip, you find somebody else to pay for it." "Beau, I have a thought." "Would you commission me to design your burial vault?" "That'd be about your speed." "You really would like to see me dead, wouldn't ya?" "I tell you, it wouldn't count for much." " Your wife might have other ideas." " Don't mean a thing." "When I die, all of my money goes into trust." "Oh, Jennifer'll get her share every year." "But there won't be any cash to build cities with." "Oh, and if you're thinkin' of any uglies... forget it." " Beau Williamson was here." " Get his wife on the phone." " She's at some health farm." " Golden Dunes?" "That's the one!" "Get her!" "She is there, isn't she?" "I see." "Well, when will she be available?" " All right." "Thank you." " Williamson do that?" "Yes, sir." "He just barged right in..." " Did you reach Jennifer?" " They wouldn't put me through." "The guests aren't allowed telephones." " Call back." "It's important." " I'm sorry but they said the guests can't make or receive calls during their stay." "I see." "Then she's virtually incommunicado." "No telegrams, no outside visitors." "Just wheat germ and push-ups." "When does she get reprieved?" "She'll be back in time for the dedication ceremonies." "Thanks, Miss Sherman." "I think I love you." "I needed that." "Ho-ho!" "Beautiful, beautiful!" "Hey, Freddy!" "That is absolutely beautiful!" "Bring that beauty back here!" "What have you been doin' to him, anyway?" " He's improved since you've been gone." " I can see that." " Thank you, sir." " Keep workin' him like that." " I'll check him out in a few days." " I'll go and cool him off." "You better." "You better." "Hey-hey!" "Ha!" "Gee!" "Hey, yeah, man." "Beautiful!" "I don't believe it." "Hey!" "Cool him out easy!" "Heh." "Hello, Beau." "Surprised?" " What are you doing in my car?" " Waiting for you." " Get yourself killed that way." " Or the reverse." "Get out." "Over there." "That's..." "Thank you." "Sit down, please." "Thank you very much." "Well, as usual, I feel like an expectant father." "But contrary to the norm, each one seems to get more difficult for me." "I'm grateful I have so many wonderful friends." "I'd like to take this opportunity..." "Hey." "Where you goin'?" " Over there." " No one's allowed in there." "What do you mean?" "I see 30 people there." "No one's allowed in without an invitation." "You have one?" "No, I don't have an invitation." "That's what I'm trying to tell you." "You have no invitation, so out." "I'm a lieutenant in the police." "My name is Columbo." " Lieutenant?" " Here." "You know," "I'm just coming here to look for somebody." " Who are you looking for?" " A Mrs Williamson." "I'll tell you, Lieutenant, lot of people here." "Why don't you wander around?" "Maybe you'll bump into her." " I see." "Thank you very much." " OK." " Bye." " ... details of this building?" "You've heard this before, but it's a fantastic building, really." "Yes." "You see, it's to be 32 storeys high." "It's revolutionary in concept, really, because they won't be offices so much as living modules, almost cocoons where a man can coordinate his activities outside the context of mere business." "In fact, if he chooses, it can become, virtually, a second home, a kind of a... a remarkable place of mobility and freedom." "I don't know how the wives'll feel about that but..." "In any case, these units will be for sale for all those who qualify." "You were asking about the price." "We haven't quite figured it out." "We've been dickering around between 30,000 and..." " 35,000, 36,000 per unit, of course." " Excuse me." "Excuse me." "Something you want?" "I didn't mean to interrupt and barge in but I'm looking for a Mrs Williamson." " I'm Mrs Williamson." " Mrs Beau Williamson?" " That's right." " And who might you be?" "Uh, Lieutenant Columbo." "You called the police?" " I did?" " Well, that's what they told me." "I may not be the brightest lady in the world but I do know whether I made a phone call or not." "Obviously, it's some kind of mix-up." "I'd like to get this straightened out." "Anybody know where Mr Williamson is?" " I don't know." " You mean he's missing?" "Absence is not necessarily missing." "I assume you understand the distinction." "It's just that he's out of town on business." "And really, Lieutenant, I didn't call the police." "Well, this is very, very weird because they told me that they got a call from a Mrs Williamson who said her husband was missing, maybe dead." "Oh, that's ridiculous." " Wait a minute." "Goldie." " Who's Goldie?" "My husband's first wife." "She must've called you." "Well, why would she do that?" "Well, Beau's been abroad for eight weeks and he came back on business for a day, and I guess left again." "She gets a little tense when the alimony cheques are late." "But that's hardly a reason to call the police." "Well, Goldie's a little possessive." "Is that the word?" "They've been divorced a long time but she still can't give up the ghost." "Mr Williamson's a globetrotter, takes off at a moment's notice, doesn't tell Jennifer." " No kidding." "Just..." " I'm sure he'll show up in a few weeks." "If you'll excuse us, if you've covered everything." "Uh, say, did you build this?" " No." "No, one of my staff did that." " Oh." " Yeah." "Come on, you want some?" " Yes." "Excuse me, please." " Excuse me." " A little on the slow side." "Forgive me a moment." "I just want to say that's a terrific building." "I mean it." "A lot of people like the old-fashioned stuff but I figure you gotta keep an open mind." " You have a new fan." " Yes." "Oh, absolutely." "It's just marvellous." "Uh, tell me, how did you two meet?" "Mr Markham designed a summerhouse for us." "It's incredible." " It's a work of genius." " Jennifer tends to get carried away." "But you are a genius." "When everyone sees your plans for Williamson City" " you'll be buried in commissions." " What is Williamson City?" "I'm superstitious." "Let's not talk about it till it's hatched." "Excuse us." "One of the obligations of the trade - have to mingle." "Sure." "Listen, sorry to bother you." " No bother at all." " And don't worry about my husband." "Believe me, he's very much alive." "He's dead, I tell you." "I can feel it in my spine." "Little lower, honey." "Ouch!" "That's it." "I know more about Beau than that little lady'll ever learn." "Lover, take my word for it." "He has shuffled off this veil of tears." " How do you know?" " He always calls before he leaves town," " and this time he didn't." " But how do you know he left town?" "I spoke with the child bride." " You mean Mrs Williamson." " The current Mrs Williamson." "I call her the next ex." "Don't get me wrong, lover." "She's half my age and twice as pretty but I like her." "Beau reached the point where he thought he needed a younger woman" " and she's better than most." " You got a pretty healthy attitude." "I can afford it." "He pays, you know." "Lover, if gold lamé was legal tender, I'd rule the world." "That's enough for today, Miko." "See you tomorrow." "Say goodbye to the lieutenant." " Sayonara." " Sayonara." " She's a lovely girl." " She is a lovely girl." "Very polite." "I don't know what she said but it sounded like she liked me." "Lieutenant, would you like to turn around?" "I don't want to corrupt you." "OK, you can turn around now." "Oh, fine." "The point is this, Mrs Williamson..." "My friends call me Goldie and since I'm standing here practically naked with you, you'd better be my friend." "Would you mind repeating that?" "I don't think I quite understood." "I said, since I'm standing here practically naked with you, you'd better be my friend, and my friends call me Goldie." "Oh, I see." "Well, Goldie, let me ask you this." "Isn't it possible that your ex-husband coulda left town without calling you?" "No way." "He never forgets." " Does Mrs Williamson know this?" " Why ruin a lovely relationship?" "You're saying your ex-husband is closer to you than he is to his current wife?" "Lieutenant, we were married for 22 years." "We never had any children, so we spent a lot of time getting to know one another." "Jennifer gives him youth." "For the rest, he comes to me." "Even if he leaves town for just a few days, he always lets me know every time." "Yeah?" " It's for you." " Oh." "Thank you very much." "Hello?" "Yes." "Oh." "All right." "I'll be right down." "Thank you." " They found Beau Williamson's car." " You see?" "What did I tell you?" "At the airport." "I'm gonna go down and check it out but it really looks like he left town." "Honey, I've got gold-plated instincts, and I trust 'em." " I am worried sick." " But his clothes are gone." "His passport, his suitcase and his car is at the airport." "What more proof do you need?" "Excuse me." "Did I hear you say that he took his passport?" "It isn't here, and he goes to Europe a lot." "Oh, yes." "That's right." "Globetrotter." "That's what Mr Markham called him." "Say, I noticed that he likes country and western music." "Does a bear like honey?" "I've tried to broaden his tastes but it's impossible." "That noise is all he listens to." "Tell me something." "Uh, do you ever drive his car?" "Me?" "No." "I have my own." "What's all this guff about cars and music and passports?" "I feel like the original voice in the wilderness." "Beau's gone and nobody gives a hoot!" "Who is Dr Moss?" "What?" "I see in your husband's appointment book, "Dr Moss, 10:45"." " The 11th." "That's tomorrow." " He'd never leave town" " if he was seeing his heart specialist." " He had a bad ticker?" "He has a pacemaker, and his heart works perfectly." "The fact that he's missing the appointment proves it's unimportant." "Hey, look - blueprints." "Is he building a bigger house?" "Those are the plans for Williamson City." "Williamson City?" "Williamson City." "I remember that." "You mentioned that at the site." "What is that, exactly?" "It's an entire community." "Churches, schools, everything planned from fireplugs to skyscrapers." " And Mr Markham designed that?" " That's right." "Beau wouldn't spring hard cash for something like that." "There may be some things about him you don't know." "It's possible he's a bit more complicated than you think, Goldie." "The day he came back, he saw those plans, and Elliot said he loved them." "Mr Markham saw your husband before he left town?" "Mm-hm." "They had a meeting the day he came back and Elliot told me all about it." " Are you a policeman?" " Yes, ma'am." "Lieutenant Columbo." "Excuse me for a moment." "I was at the construction site." " I don't know if you remember me." " Is something wrong?" "Oh, no." "No, nothing's wrong." "I wanted to speak to Mr Markham." "Is he in?" "I'm sorry, Lieutenant." "He isn't in." "Oh." "Well, maybe I could speak to him at home." "He only goes there to sleep." "You'll find him at the university giving a lecture." "Really?" "You mean he teaches too, huh?" "He feels he has a responsibility to share his knowledge." "I'll tell you somethin', it's a wonder the man finds all the time." "Pure energy, Lieutenant." "He's a dynamo." "A man like that throws off sparks and never slows down." "Most of us can't keep up with him." "But we love it, naturally." "I mean, well, everyone likes to feel that he's participating in something important." "He's an unusual man." "Tonight's lecture, for instance, on Egyptian architecture - pyramids, tombs, things like that." "He gave up his dinner hour to verify a date." "Not the year, mind you, the date." "He's..." "Lieutenant?" "Lieutenant?" "Lieutenant." " Is this where he works?" " Yes, it is." "Just wonderful." " Marvellous office." " Yes, it is." " Spacious." " Yes, it is." " Conference room?" " Yes, it is." " Very handy, isn't it?" " Yes, it is." "Wonderful." "I mean everything." " The decor, the panelling..." " I'm glad you like it." "But Mr Markham doesn't permit anyone..." " I see he likes music." " Yes." " Has it in here?" " Plays it while he's designing." " Classical stuff?" " Uh-huh." "My favourite." "Just love it." "Lieutenant, it's getting late, and I have to meet someone for dinner." "Oh, I'm sorry." "I didn't mean to hold you up like that." "Forgive me." "When I start hearing this stuff, I could listen for hours." "Sorry." "Yes." "Well, if there's nothing else." "I don't think there's anything else." "Thank you." "Good night." "Good night." " What happened here?" " An accident." "Oh." "Isn't that something?" "Williamson City." " If you ask me, he doesn't deserve it." " Who is that?" "Beau Williamson." "I know I shouldn't be talking about this... but it's a shame Mr Markham has to work for a man like that." "Mr Williamson did this?" "He barged right in here the other day and smashed it all to smithereens." " Guess he didn't like it, huh?" " People like that don't know what they like." " All they care about is what it costs." " Too expensive, huh?" "Mr Markham has a saying - you can't put a price tag on genius." "These were built over a generation by an endless supply of slave labour." "The pharaohs of the time, much like ourselves, were greatly concerned with the crime rate." "The tombs were vulnerable because the Egyptians buried much treasure with their royalty." "So aside from being visually impressive with their bulk and simplicity, the tombs are also a marvel of engineering skills built to withstand the onslaught of thieves." "By the way, it's said that some of the engineers who built the pyramids were sealed up in their own creations to protect the integrity of the tomb." "Fortunately, today's architects are spared that particular indignity." "Lights, please." "Next week we'll move rapidly into the baroque period and more rapidly into our first exam." "Those of you with failing grades will be permanently entombed... at least as far as this class is concerned." "Thank you." "Didn't know you were a scholar, Lieutenant." "Well, I just came by to ask you a few questions." "Say, that stuff about burying those Egyptians, is that true?" "According to some experts." "Gee, I find that interesting, particularly for a fella in my line of work." " Why?" " Well, the idea of burying a body in a place where you can't find it." "If I ever murdered anybody, that's what I would do." "Well, not many people have access to the pyramids, Lieutenant." "You wouldn't put 'em in the pyramids today." "Today you'd have to find another place, like..." "Gee, I don't know." " You'd have to..." " Like the foundation of a building?" "Now that you mention it, that would be a terrific place." "You put a body under a building, you wouldn't find it for a hundred years." "I'll keep that in mind, Lieutenant, in case I kill somebody." "If you'll get to your questions, I haven't had any dinner." "Gee, you know, neither have I. I can offer you some raisins if..." " No." "No, thank you." " Right." "I'll tell you why I came by." " Would you get that board for me?" " Oh, certainly." "Uh, yeah." "I came by because I'm still looking into the disappearance of Beau Williamson." "Disappearance." "So Goldie's got you convinced now?" "No, not necessarily." "I stopped by your office because I wanted to talk to you." "I couldn't help noticing that smashed-up model of Williamson City." " What about it?" " I was just wondering how it got broken." "Why do I have the feeling that you already know the answer to that?" "Well, your secretary said Mr Williamson came in and he was mad and threw things around." "There's a perfectly simple explanation." "Beau was angry and for good reason." "We went ahead without his permission." "It was undiplomatic of us." "I see." "Us..." "Oh, you mean, you and his wife." "Yes." "Well, Jennifer's an admirer of my work." "Oh, yeah." "Yeah, she told me that." "Uh..." "Uh..." " I got a little problem." " I'll get it." "Thank you." "Beau came back and he saw the plans." "It took him by surprise." "Beau is a volatile Texan and when he gets angry, well, it shows." "Fortunately, when I explained the project to him, he was delighted." " I see." "Happy ending, huh?" " Yeah." "But won't his disappearance interfere with your plans to move ahead?" "Are we back to that?" "All the evidence indicates that he left the country." " His car is at the airport." " That should prove it." "It should, yeah." "But you know, we checked out every flight list and there wasn't one Williamson on it." "Lieutenant, Beau is a..." "He's a high-powered tycoon." "He's got exotic business interests all over the world." "Isn't it possible for reasons not known that he might occasionally fly under a different name?" "Yes." "That is possible." "Then I wouldn't worry about it." "If you'll excuse me, a hungry architect would like his dinner." "You know what's a funny thing about that car?" "Car's got a tape machine, and the glove compartment is full of cassettes." "Every one of 'em is country and western music, that's all." "And his wife says that's all he listens to." "Nothing unusual about that." "No, except the radio dial was set at 52." "Classical station." "Turned it on." "Classical music." "I see." " You want a half a candy bar?" " No." "Anyway, it seems that whoever was driving that car must've been listening to classical music." "It's confusing." "I'm sure you'll find an answer, Lieutenant." "I'm certainly gonna try." "Anyway, thanks for your time." "Oh." "Uh, as for your designs," "Mr Williamson did give his approval, didn't he?" "I already told you, Lieutenant." "Once he calmed down, he gave his full support." "Right." "Thanks very much." " You know, that's some coincidence." " What is?" "That music thing." "You're a great classical music fan yourself, aren't ya?" " I saw your records in the office." " Guilty." "I like classical music." "Along with thousands of other people in this city." "Me too." "I like it myself." "Enjoy your meal." "Yeah, he's that Texas guy." "What's his name?" "His name is Williamson." "He's a close friend of Mr Markham's." " Friend, huh?" " Well, weren't they friends?" "Last time I saw him he looked ready to wrap a two-by-four round Markham's neck." "No kidding." "Yeah?" "When was that?" "Look, Lieutenant." "I got a building to put up, all right?" "I'll see ya around." "OK." "I don't want to interfere with your work." "But there's one other thing." "Talk to Mr Markham." "I'm just in charge of the nuts and bolts around here." " Then you know about those columns." " Not columns." "Piles." " Piles." "That's what they're called?" " That's right." " Well, tell me about 'em." " Well, I'll tell ya." "We sink a hollow steel cylinder in the ground." "We fill it with cement, and when it hardens, we got a pile." " That's what a pile is?" " That's right." "That's interesting." "Do you keep a record when you put 'em in?" "Have to, and which one's first." "You mean you could tell me exactly what day each one of these piles was sunk?" "The day, the time, how long it took and how many men I had on the job." "Lieutenant!" "Still obsessed with pyramids?" "Must've been that lecture, Mr Markham." "I never really noticed buildings but I'm interested now." "Carl, check those HVAC estimates for me." "Yes, sir." " I'll see you around, Lieutenant." " Right." "Hey, tell me the truth, Lieutenant." "Are you interested in buildings or builders?" " What do you mean?" " Well, let's look at your itinerary." "You showed up at my office, my lecture, now at my construction site." "I happen to have some spare time." "Shouldn't you be spending your time tracking down Beau Williamson?" "Surely you don't think he's here?" "Well, no." "I don't see how he could be." "Well, if you'll forgive me, I'll go back to my work." "Certainly." "I, uh, I assume I can look forward to another visit in the near future?" "Well, if anything turns up, I'll surely get in touch with you." "I'm sure you will." "Say, do you have the time?" "I think my watch is out of order." "It's 10:30." "I don't wanna be late." "I got an appointment at the doctor." "Doctor, really..." " I never intended to have an exam..." " Shh!" "Just a moment." " Blood pressure's a bit low." " That's normal for me." "Look, Doctor..." "I know, you came here to ask me questions." "But a checkup never hurts." " Now, do you get enough exercise?" " Well, I walk a bit." " Doctor, I just had a police physical." " Can't have too many, Lieutenant." "The human machine is a delicate instrument." " Now, you were saying?" " Yeah." "This is what I wanna know." "Look, it's 11:20." "Mr Williamson hasn't shown up for his appointment." "Was this just another routine checkup?" "When you have a heart pacemaker, no visit is routine." " You can roll down your sleeve." " Oh, yeah." "What I mean is, was this appointment any more or less important than the others?" "Well, if Beau Williamson doesn't get to me, or any other specialist, he's running a grave risk with his health." "Well, why is that?" "This is a pacemaker." " You mean it's that big?" " It runs on miniature energy cells." " That's sort of like an electric watch." " Exactly." "It regulates a heart that can't keep a steady beat." "Every year, these energy cells have to be replaced or the pacemaker becomes erratic, causing the heart to malfunction." " In other words, you could die." " Put simply, yes." " Is this a big operation?" " No, but it is a surgical procedure." "Could a doctor other than you perform it?" "Naturally." "But knowing Beau Williamson," "I doubt he'd put himself in the hands of a stranger, no matter how competent." "I see." "All right, Doc." "I wanna thank you very much for the time and for the checkup." "Well, it wasn't much of a checkup." "If you locate Mr Williamson, tell him to contact me." " I'll do that." " Are you looking for something?" " Do you have a lighter?" " You won't find one here." "And let me give you some free medical advice." "Stop smoking those things." " I've been trying." " Trying isn't good enough." "Remember, I deal in pacemakers." "Well, lover, are you satisfied?" "Goldie, what are you doing here?" "Same thing you are - checking up on Beau." " He didn't show up, did he?" " No." "Columbo, he's dead." "He would never miss a doctor's appointment." "He was always nervous about his health." "That may be but there's no proof, there's nothing solid to go on yet." "Columbo, what does it take to convince you that I'm right?" "His body?" "Please, slow down." "You're running me ragged." " That's the object of the game." " Do you do anything badly?" " Yes." "Lose." " I don't believe it." "Have you ever lost?" "Come on, you're doing beautifully." " I don't get my arm back in time." " Ready or not, I'm serving." "Oh!" "That's embarrassing." "You're getting your racket back late." " Throw me a ball." " We hit them all out." " Oh, I'll get it." " No, let me." "I'm getting embarrassed to face you." "You know, in Cannes, they have trained dogs that retrieve tennis balls." "I'll tell Beau somebody's got something on him." "Elliot!" "What's the matter?" "Jennifer, what's the matter?" "It's Beau's hat." "A battered, bloodstained hat by itself means next to nothing." "It looks kind of strange though, don't you think?" "We don't even know if he was wearing a hat." "If he was killed." "We don't." "But the question is, where did it come from?" " When will the police lab have a report?" " Pretty soon." "I told them to rush it." " I got them!" " Good." "What'd you ask her to get?" "His army dog tags?" "Yes." " You want a drink, Lieutenant?" " No." "Thanks anyhow." " What I could really use is a cigar." " Beg your pardon?" "Here they are, Lieutenant." "I finally found them in the attic." "But why you want them, I don't know." "Army dog tags usually have a blood type on 'em." "Here it is." "B positive." "I'm sure glad he saved these." "A lot of guys do." "I still think this is futile." " We don't even know if it's his hat." " It has to be." "He had a lot of them around and the brim was fixed just the way he always wore it." "It was custom-made, so the label will be easy to check." "Yes?" "Just a moment." "Lieutenant, it's for you." "Thank you." "Hello." "Uh-huh." "Uh-huh." "Yeah, that's what I figured." "Thank you." "Blood type B positive." "I'm sorry, ma'am." "Then something did happen to him." "He is dead!" "You're jumping to conclusions." "Don't be hysterical." "Tell her that blood on a hat doesn't mean that Beau's dead." "That's true, it doesn't." "But we have a whole new ball game." "Sorry, strict orders." "He doesn't want to be bothered." "He's playing that music loud." "Bad mood?" "He doesn't have bad moods." "Let's just say he's been happier." "Miss Sherman!" " Miss Sherman." " Yes, sir?" " 'Get Mrs Williamson, please. '" " Yes, sir." "Yes?" "'Mrs Williamson is on the line. '" " 'Hello?" "'" " Hello, Jennifer." "How are you?" " Feeling any better?" " 'I'm not sure how I feel." "'I just keep thinking about that hat. '" "Well, that's what I called you about." "I may have an explanation for you." "'What?" "'" "I've got to check on a few things before I tell you anything." "You think you can arrange to have Beau's will sent over?" " 'Beau's will?" "What on earth for?" "'" " Just trust me." " Get out of there!" " That won't help." "I've already seen 'em." "You said you wanted to talk and I find you poking around." "You've got no right." "Two of Beau's old hats from the old days." "I thought there were three on that shelf." " I don't know what you're talking about." " No?" "You planted that hat." "You manufactured this just to back up your story that Beau's dead." "You're reaching, mister." "Now, what's that?" "It's Beau's will." "Shows why you want to prove he's dead." "You're farther out than your buildings." "According to this, when Beau Williamson's dead you inherit 25% of his estate." "That's a lot of lamé." "Much more than you'll ever see in alimony." "You listen to me." "You're after me for some reason and all I'm trying to do is point out that that will doesn't prove a thing." "Suppose we call Columbo?" "We'll leave it up to him." "Listen, I can save yourself the trouble." " Ah, the omnipresent constable." " What are you doing here?" "Your maid let me in." "She told me you were up here." " I hope I'm not interrupting." " How long were you there?" "Not long." "I guess I did hear the tail end of what you were saying." "Then I guess you know what kind of fertiliser this boy is spreading around." "Well, you know, Mr Markham is making pretty good sense." "He'd almost make a detective." "That stuff about the will, that's good police work." " Thank you, Lieutenant." " I thought you were my friend." "Goldie, I am your friend." "And because I'm your friend, I'd like to give you some advice." "I think it would do you a lot of good if you told the truth." " I am telling the truth." " Are you?" "I just spoke to that nice Japanese girl that gives you massages." "Miko?" "We had a little trouble understanding each other but we finally made it." "She told me she noticed a bandaged cut on the back of your leg this morning." " It wasn't there yesterday." " Pure coincidence." "I cut myself shaving." "I also went to the Bureau of Records and dug up your marriage licence." "It turns out that you and Mr Williamson have the same blood type, B-positive." "Very good." "Obviously she took one of her husband's hats, added some blood and left it to make it look as if Beau had been murdered." "What about it, ma'am?" "Oh, and another thing - the lab tells me that the blood is only 24 hours old." "All right, all right." "I did it." "I planted the hat." "I was just trying to get everybody off the dime." "I guess I'm in trouble." "Falsifying evidence?" "There's no harm done." "She didn't break any law." "Your help I don't need." "Like Mr Markham says, there was no harm done." "As far as I'm concerned, I think everybody can forget about it." "Well, and I'll be going." "Mr Markham, may I borrow that will for an hour or two?" "Well, it isn't mine." "It belongs to Jennifer." "I'll take it back to her." "I'm sure dropping it off will take you out of your way." "Well, suit yourself." "Let me ask you this question." "Is this the first pile iron you sunk?" "Yeah, that's pile D3." "We did that the day of the dedication." "You were here, I saw you coming in." "What happens?" "You dig a hole and you just plop the stuff in?" " We usually dig 'em the day before." " I see." "Then you have this big hole sitting there all night?" "It's not a safety hazard, don't worry." "I see, uh-huh." "Hey, it's Mr Markham." " The lieutenant was looking for you." " I'm sure he was." "I see you have our building records." " Yes, sir." "He wanted to take a look." " I didn't think you'd mind." "I wouldn't wanna dampen your new interest in architecture." "All right, Carl." "Thanks." "Lieutenant, anybody ever tell you you're very much like an arachnid?" " A what?" " A tick." "They're excessively tenacious." "They hang on." "They let go only under extreme prodding." "Well, I never heard of it." " There it is." " There's what?" " Pile D3." " What do you mean?" " Why don't you dig it up?" " What?" " You know you want to." " I don't know what you're talking about." "Oh, it's such a marvellous place to hide a body." "Crew comes in, digs a hole." "Hole sits there overnight." "If I were a murderer - hypothetically speaking - it'd be made to order." "Drive up, dump the body." "The next morning, crew fills the hole with concrete." "Neat, clean, foolproof." "Wait a minute." "If you were a murderer - hypothetically, like you say   you wouldn't tell this to the police." " Why not?" "You'd never be able to dig it up." "Besides, how do you know I'm not a victim of my own bravado?" "How much would it cost?" "I mean, to actually dig up pile D3?" "Just for the sake of curiosity." "A great deal more than your bank account." "Then there's permits, if you got permission, which is doubtful." "Mmm." "Probably be a mess, wouldn't it?" " Well, it's a lot of concrete." " Yeah, it sure is." "You really believe that Beau Williamson met with foul play, don't you?" "That's astonishing." "There's no body, no proof." "Aside from Goldie's pathetic fraud, no motive." " Well, actually, there is a motive." " Oh?" "Oh, yes." "It's in Mr Williamson's will." "Before I dropped it off at his wife's house, I stopped by to see my brother-in-law." "He's an attorney." "Nothing big, you understand, but he's pretty good." " You've been very busy." " It's just part of the job." "Anyway, he tells me that there's a very interesting clause in that will." "And it says that if Mr Williamson dies, his wife, Jennifer, doesn't gain control of the estate." " Is that so?" " Mmm." "Yeah, aside from Goldie's 25%, the entire thing goes into a trust." "And the wife, all she gets is the income from the interest." " How nice for her." " Yeah, it's a lot of money." "But it's less than it takes to finance your city." "You're proving my point, Lieutenant." "I have no interest in seeing Beau dead." "I want the city built." "But if he's dead and it can't be proved, then legally he's considered alive, so his wife can spend the money without restrictions." "She could go right ahead and bankroll your city." " Quite a lawyer, your brother-in-law." " The whole family, we're proud of him." "If he's giving free counsel, I hope he made another point." "What's that?" "A man can be declared legally dead without a corpus delicti but if you wanna make a case against someone," " it might help if you found the body." " Yeah, I know." "See, I figure I..." "I gotta come up with something concrete." "Wednesday morning." "Thank you." " I need some information about..." " Just a minute, please." "Yes?" "I want to know how I go about getting permission to dig up a pile of a building that's already under construction?" "I beg your pardon?" "A pile of a building that's under construction." "I wanna dig it up." " Regular-size pile?" " Yeah." " Ten thousand pounds?" " I would think so." "Just a minute, please." "Section 346B." "Foundations." "Do you know how much a thing like that would cost?" "No." "How much?" "See 581 D." "Yes, here we are." "Now, what's your connection, by the way?" "Contractor?" "Owner?" "No." "I'm from the police." "Lieutenant Columbo." "Oh, yes." "Well, you'll have to have a departmental approval under regulation 613 of the municipal code." " I see." "That's, uh... 613?" " Six-one-three." "Now, once you get that, you file your permits, your requisition slips, and if the mayor's office approves of that, then you're set." "Been to the structural engineering department?" "What for?" "Lieutenant, you have to show the exact foundation to be torn out so we can make our estimates." " Oh." "Where do I do that?" " Room 316, down the hall." "All right." "I'll be right back." " Got 'em." " Good." " Well?" " Lunch hour." "Come back at one o'clock." "OK." " How long have you been digging here?" " Since eight this morning." " And how much is this going to cost?" " I don't know." "Inspector, how much is all this going to cost?" " Morning, Inspector." " Morning, Inspector." "Well, I'll tell you." "It's gonna cost considerable." "Well, Lieutenant." "You know, you can still stop it before it's too late." "Well, I went to so much trouble to get the permission" " that I think I'll go ahead." " That's up to you." "I hope you realise how much work you're causing for a great many people." "Well, it's a lot more than I expected, I'll give you that." "You should've dressed for the occasion." " What?" " They're taking your picture." "You're gonna be a celebrity on the six o'clock news." "Come on, fellas." "Gimme a break, huh?" "Listen, I, uh, I wanna apologise for the press." "I didn't realise they were gonna be here." "I had nothing to do with it." " Must've been a leak." " No, I invited them." "I intend to make a statement when you're finished." "You do?" "Well, maybe I'll have a statement of my own." "Well, you're clutching at straws." "Carl, you're keeping a record of the delay, aren't you?" " Yes, sir!" " All right." "Fine." "Lieutenant, I want you to know I admire you." "Oh, really?" "You've got the courage of your conviction, an admirable if misdirected trait." "Lieutenant, there you are." "You just stay right there, because I am gonna love you to death." "We could've used you at the Alamo." "You've got guts." "Jennifer called and told me about this then pulled the covers over her head, which is how she deals with problems." " I'm here to give you support." " I appreciate that." " Getting a little nervous?" " Should I be?" " It depends on what's down there." " The usual, Goldie - bedrock and cement." " I wonder." " So does the lieutenant." "But he'll have his curiosity satisfied soon enough." "Mr Markham, can I see you a moment?" "Don't be intimidated." "I think he's scared." "If this looks all right to you, can we bring in the crane?" " Bring her in, take her up." " What's happening?" "We'll have her up in a half-hour." "Another half-hour." " Nervous, Lieutenant?" " Yeah, a little." "Why not?" "You're learning architecture the hard way." "Take her up." "OK, fellas, let's forget it, huh?" "Nothing here, Mr Markham." "Not even a button." "Well, Lieutenant Columbo?" " I guess I was wrong." " I'd consider that an accurate statement." " You have a moment?" "I'd like to talk." " Nothing I'd like better." "Mr Markham, I think I owe you an apology." "Is that all you have to say?" "Not much." "Night." "Carl, fill up the excavation." "Sink another hole." "We'll pour the concrete in the morning." "Lieutenant, you say you owe me an apology?" "You owe me a great deal more." "There's no body, no clothing, no ring, nothing." "I'm not a police officer but the conclusion seems to be obvious." "Beau Williamson isn't here and he never was." "Stop gloating." "You should be delighted, Goldie." "It means Beau's still alive." " Only the lieutenant and me suffered." " Why you?" "I've been suspected of murder, my work has been delayed, my relationship with Beau and Jennifer's been jeopardised." "Lieutenant, I'm sure you have some explaining to do to your superiors." "So, if you'll forgive me, I'll be off." "Here, put this on." " I'm sorry, lover." " That's OK, Goldie." "No, it's my fault." "I put the bug in your ear." "They gonna suspend you or something?" "I don't know." "I'll buy you a drink." "I'll buy us both a drink." "No, that's OK." "Thank you, Goldie." "You go ahead." "I owe you one." "I'll see you later." "Licence and registration, please." " That was real nice, sir." " What?" "Real nice piece of driving you did back there." "The way you handled it." "Oh." "Thank you." "Left front." "Could've been hairy." "Yeah, that... that could've been." "There's no harm done." "Thank you for stopping." " I appreciate that." " Open it up." " What?" " The trunk." "You might as well get your keys, and I'll help you out with the spare." " Isn't that ridiculous?" " What?" "My spare." "No air." "It's useless." "I've been meaning to get it filled but you know how that is." "Well, why don't I call a tow truck?" "They'll bring out a pump." " Oh, yeah." "That's great." "Thanks a lot." " OK." "Good night now." "Good evening, Mr Markham." "Beau Williamson?" "Ahead of me all the way, weren't you?" "Well, I kind of had a hunch." "You see, you kept trying to finesse me into digging up that pile." "And I had to ask myself why." "I mean, you're not a dumb man." " You wouldn't lead me to the body." " Why'd you dig it up?" "Well, I had to play along, didn't I?" "I figured you had the body somewhere." "But what you really wanted was a foolproof hiding place." "What's better than a place that's already been searched?" "And at considerable cost and embarrassment?" "Officer?" "No, no." "Don't bother." " You will admit, it's a clever idea." " Oh, yeah." "It was perfect." "Who would look in the same place twice?" " I should've left it where it was." " Mr Markham," "I'm curious about that." "Where was it?" "In the equipment shed at the stable." "Well, you never can be sure about those things." "Bodies have a funny way of surfacing." "You know, this was brilliant." "You would've had a whole building over the grave." "Yes, brilliant." "It was just that music thing that bothered me." "Carnegie Hall and Nashville, they don't mix." "No." "No, they don't."