"THE BITTER TEARS OF PETRA VON KANT" "A case history ... dedicated to him who became Marlene here." "With the special participation of Irm Hermann as Marlene" "Marlene ... be more considerate, please!" "I've had such awful dreams." "My head is so heavy." "Like lead." "The telephone!" "Quick!" "Mrs. von Kant, please!" "Of course..." "I'll wait." "Squeeze me some orange juice!" "I'm dying of thirst." "Mother?" "I couldn't make it yesterday." "My work, ... you know." "No, I've been up for ages." "It's true." "I haven't a moment's peace." "But it has its good sides, too." "Where are you going?" "To Miami?" "I'm so happy for you, Mother." "Miami is lovely." "And the people!" "Wonderful to know." "Just wonderful." "Six months?" "Oh, Mother, I hardly know what to say." "Six months in Miami!" "How I envy you!" "I could do with that." "Thank you." "Start on the drawing!" "The sketch is on the easel." "Yes, Mother." "What was that?" "Of course I'm listening, but something's wrong with the line." "I'm sorry." "Don't be cross!" "There really was a crackling." "I'm not lying." "Now you're being nasty, Mother." "Yes ..." "I'm listening..." "I understand..." "How much do you need?" "8,000?" "That's a lot of money." "I can lend you 5,000, but not more." "What with expenses, and then Gabriele." "Ask Tatiana, or perhaps..." "Yes, Mother." "Marlene..." "I want you to write a letter..." "To Joseph Mankiewicz." "The address is in the files." "Dear Mankiewicz ... my dear friend ... comma ..." "I'm afraid I shall be unable to make payment... period." "There are circumstances between heaven and earth ... period...period...period..." "But to whom am I telling this?" "question mark!" "Hoping you will understand, I remain your dear friend ..." "Petra von Kant." "I'll sign it right away." "Come here!" "Take it down ... and be quick!" "Well!" "Hurry up!" "That drawing must be finished by noon." "Any mail?" "Karstadt?" "Karstadt wants me to design for them." "Marlene, did you hear me?" "It's the chance of a lifetime!" "Karstadt?" "Mr. Müller-Freienfels, please!" "My name is Petra von Kant." "Petra von Kant speaking!" "Yes..." "I did..." "This week is full." "I might manage Friday..." "One moment!" "Yes, I can squeeze it in on Friday." "When?" "Three o'clock?" "Fine!" "At three!" "See you then!" "Those rats!" "Do you remember when I offered them my first designs three years ago?" "They didn't want to know." "How times change!" "The man was so servile." "When I think...!" "At this time?" "My God, who...?" "Open the door!" "What does it matter?" "1 0:30 already!" "Darling!" "Sidonie!" "My dearest!" "Petra!" "My God!" "How long...?" "Three years, my dear." "How time flies!" "But you look absolutely stunning!" "How do you do it?" "I have nothing on you..." "Your youth, your beauty!" "And Frank?" "I read about you two." "In Australia of all places!" "And I said to Lester, "Poor dear!" "Look what's happened!"" "We always warned you about that man." "We all have to make our own experiences." "I don't regret it one bit." "No one can take away the things you learn in life." "On the contrary, they give you maturity." "I don't know, Petra." "When you can foresee the end from the start ... is the experience worth the candle?" "Make some coffee, Marlene!" "Or would you prefer tea?" "Coffee would be fine." "Have you had breakfast?" "Yes." "I flew down from Frankfurt this morning." "I couldn't wait to hear how you were bearing up." "Whether you were suffering..." "People change." "I was different once, I know." "I wouldn't have known how to cope." "The shame of it alone!" "I believed in the goodness of the man." "But marriage ... brings out the worst in people." "I'm not so sure." "Lester..." "Oh, forgive me!" "With all your travels, you never got to know each other properly." "But Frank and I ... we were inseparable ... and in constant fear of our existence." "That's when you get to know what the other person's made of." "Sorry, I didn't want to sound bitter, but ... there would have been some opportunities ... really wonderful opportunities." "for that man and me." "But it was not to be!" "Still dreaming of him?" "No, Sidonie." "I just regret the chances we missed." "They certainly existed." "It's very sad, believe me," "when you realize that the distressing things ... by far outweigh the beautiful things you feel." "Did you quarrel...?" "Quarrel?" "Not in the normal way." "Sometimes there was a coldness." "You feel it." "Look..." "You're with someone ... in a car or in a room ... and you want to say something, but you're afraid." "Or you'd like to be affectionate, but again you're afraid." "You're afraid of losing points, of being the weaker one." "It's a terrible moment ... when you can no longer go back and start again." "I think I understand what you mean." "Very vaguely, but..." "I know what you're going to say:" "the wise person gives in." "No, once you're in the mire, who can pull you out again, in terms of human relations, I mean?" "It can't have been like that for the whole three years." "Of course not." "At times, it was so beautiful that..." "There are moments when you forget ... everything," "including the fact that you could resolve the difficulties, and find a common basis to..." "But we were stuck in the mire!" "Poor thing!" "It's easy to pity, but much harder to understand." "If you understand someone, there's no need for pity." "You can help change things." "Pity only what you can't understand!" "I see ... the whole thing has hardened you." "It's a pity." "I was always suspicious of hard women." "I seem hard, only because I'm using my head." "You're evidently not used to women using their brains." "My poor little dear!" "Petra!" "Please!" "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you." "I just want you to listen to what I say ... and not have a preconceived opinion." "Of course!" "I can understand your bitterness." "Did he ask for the divorce?" "No, I did." "Not him?" "You...?" "Good heavens!" "That surprises you, eh?" "Poor little Petra ... who couldn't do without her husband, hopelessly in love, almost a slave..." "And she asks for a divorce." "Terrible, isn't it?" "Did he...?" "No." "He wasn't unfaithful." "Adultery wouldn't have been a reason for me to separate." "For my part, the relationship was a healthy one." "We both attached more importance to pleasure than fidelity;" "fidelity as a duty, that is." "Mentally we were faithful to each other, no doubt." "There were other reasons why it didn't work out." "Of course, when things go wrong, it turns to disgust ... and hatred." "But that had nothing to do with what was going on around us ... or with other people." "Thank you." "Yes, thank you." "Go on sketching!" "It's urgent." "Can we...?" "Marlene's been with me for three years." "She hears everything, sees everything, knows everything." "Don't take any notice of Marlene!" "Well, to get back to...!" "What estranged you both;" "what made you so sick?" "You see, Petra," "Lester and I went through a time ... when it looked as if everything were over." "We were weary, disgusted and..." "You have to be wise, show understanding and humility." "A woman has her devices." "She just has to know how to use them." "I wasn't interested in "devices", especially not female ones." "I had no time for conjuring tricks." "Tricks, Petra?" "Yes, they're tricks." "Dodges, cheating if you like." "They lead to a loss of freedom." "When I hear words like "humility"!" "Don't sneer!" "Don't sneer at me!" "Lester and I are really happy now." "Humility paid off." "He thinks he's the boss." "I let him think so, but in the end I get my way." "Listen, darling," "I know what you mean, and it may be all very well for you and Lester." "Maybe this sense of compulsion ... is just what you need." "But ... you see," "Frank and I ... we wanted to make our love beautiful." "And for us, "beautiful" meant ... always knowing what was going on ... in yourself ... and in the other person." "We didn't want a humdrum marriage with codes of behavior." "We wanted to decide everything anew, always be ... alert," "always ... free." "I don't understand ... why everything must be so complicated when it can be simple." "Codes of behavior exist for us to use them consciously." "Why keep having to decide things anew, when we have tried and trusted methods ... and they're good?" "We wanted to be happy together." "You understand?" "Together!" "There's no tried and trusted model I know for that." "What turned it all into disgust ... when there was so much clarity and understanding?" "Success, for example." "The success I had ... and that Frank hoped for and needed so much." "That's how it began." "It was as simple as that." "I'm sorry, but success is no reason to..." "Men!" "... and their vanity!" "He wanted to pamper me, take care of me." "Of course, he took me seriously ... and respected my opinions." "But ... he wanted to be the breadwinner." "And that's how oppression comes about, quite automatically." "It works like this:" "I listen to you ... and understand you, but who slaves away and earns the money?" "One rule for him, another for me." "My dear, at first, it was:" ""Everything you earn, my girl, will be put aside for later."" ""A home of our own, a sports car..."" "I agreed, because ... he was so loving, Sidonie." "And sometimes the love he lavished on me ... just swept me away." "I was breathless for joy." "Then, when he struck a bad patch, it was almost funny to see ... how his ridiculous pride was pricked." "To be honest," "I enjoyed it." "Especially as I thought he knew how ridiculous his behavior was." "But he didn't." "And later, when I tried to tell him ... that it made no difference to me whether a man was on top or not ... it was too late." "As soon as I broached the matter ... he was like a wall, Sidonie," "like a wall." "Gradually the honesty began to die." "I thought I was mistaken ... in him or myself." "So then I called it a day." "I stopped loving him." "The last six months were excruciating, believe me, excruciating!" "He realized it was all over." "He felt it at least." "But he refused to accept it." "He wasn't really intelligent." "He tried to hold on to his wife ... if not wholly, at least in bed." "That's when it turned to disgust." "He tried a new technique:" "violence." "I let him possess me." "I bore it." "But... the man seemed so filthy." "Petra!" "He stank!" "He stank of man." "The way men stink." "What had once had its charms ... now nauseated me, brought tears to my eyes." "The way he took me!" "Petra, please !" "Hear the story out, will you!" "He mounted me like a bull mounting a cow." "Not the slightest respect anymore." "No thought of a woman's pleasure." "The pain, Sidonie!" "The pain!" "You can't imagine it." "And when I... sometimes..." "Oh, the shame of it!" "I felt so humiliated." "He thought I was crying for love and gratitude." "How stupid he was!" "He was so dumb!" "How stupid men are!" "You poor thing!" "How you must have suffered!" "I don't need your pity." "He ... deserved mine." "Understanding, kindness or pity, if nothing else were possible." "He aroused no feelings in me." "It became worse and worse." "When we dined together ... his chewing ... sounded like an explosion." "I couldn't stand it when he swallowed, the way he cut his meat, ate his vegetables, held a cigarette, a glass of whiskey..." "Everything seemed so ridiculous... so affected." "I felt ashamed for him." "I imagined everyone else must see him the way I did." "Of course, it was hysteria, panic." "There was nothing left to save." "All over!" "Finished!" "The end!" "I'm so ashamed." "There's no need." "No need to be ashamed." "You've tried to learn, tried to understand." "Whereas I..." "I think ... people are made to need each other." "But they haven't learned ... to live together." "That must be Karin." "Karin?" "A delightful girl." "I met her on the boat from Sydney to Southampton." "She wants to make a start in Germany." "Hello!" "This is Petra von Kant." "I told you so much about her." "Hello!" "Take a seat!" "Please excuse the mess!" "Things are a bit upside down." "It doesn't matter." "Some tea?" "Or a brandy?" "A brandy, please!" "Marlene, cognac!" "And you, Sidonie?" "No, thanks." "Not this early." "Funny," "I imagined you much older, more ... distinguished." "Is that the word?" "That is the word, yes." "But why older?" "People who are so successful, so famous..." "I don't know..." "They're usually older." "It's the exception that proves the rule." "Thank you." "Cheers!" "It's time we were leaving, Karin." "I'll give you a call." "I'm staying longer this time." "Do that, Sidonie!" "Take care!" "Bye!" "Byebye!" "You have a good figure." "You could use it to advantage." "Get in touch with me some time!" "I'd love to!" "Coming!" "Let's say tomorrow evening..." "at eight?" "See you tomorrow, then." "Yes, till tomorrow." "You've altered the sleeves?" "Yes... that's good." "They'll like that better." "That was the bell, Marlene!" "And I'm not ready yet." "Open the door!" "I'll be down in a moment." "Karin!" "How nice!" "Good evening, Mrs. von Kant." "I've prepared a bite to eat." "Marlene, serve the food!" "So here you are!" "Here I am." "Enjoying it here in Germany?" "I was away only 5 years." "Yes, I'm enjoying it." "Nothing's changed much." "Things stay the way they are in Germany." "Tell me about yourself." "Me?" "There's nothing much to tell." "Oh yes there is:" "what you think, what you ... dream..." "Nothing much!" "I just want my little corner of the world." "Is that asking too much?" "On the contrary, Karin." "That's what ... we live for:" "to fight for a place for ourselves." "Do we have to fight?" "Of course." "I had to fight, too, and hard." "Very hard." "That's life." "I always thought I was too lazy to fight." "Too lazy?" "Yes." "I prefer to lie in bed, reading magazines, novels..." "Maybe you haven't found the right incentive for living yet." "You're still young." "Twenty-three." "Exactly!" "You've so much ahead of you." "Good things, bad, ugly, beautiful things..." "Life begins at 23." "Does it?" "Yes." "Don't you think so?" "My God, I have so much experience already." "I'm married and..." "You are...?" "Yes!" "My husband stayed in Australia." "We had..." "It's all so complicated." "No..." "Nothing is simple." "Nothing at all." "You have to understand ... what humility is." "Humility?" "You see, everyone has his own theory of the world." "I believe ... you have to have humility to be able to bear ... what you know." "I have humility in my work ... or in respect of the money I earn, or the many things ... that are stronger than myself." "I think "humility" is a strange word." "It reminds me of kneeling and praying." "I don't really know..." "Maybe these ... concepts ... are not suitable for young people." "I'd have reacted in the same way at your age." "Thank you." "Help yourself!" "Do you think you'd enjoy working as a model?" "I don't know the trade and what's involved..." "But why not?" "Fine!" "We must talk business." "You can't just go down the runway and think you know everything." "You must be willing to learn." "I am willing to learn." "I want nothing for free." "I could help you, of course." "Later on, when you know the ropes, you'll easily find work." "Thanks." "You may have difficulties at first." "Financial difficulties, I mean." "You wouldn't earn anything during training." "I suppose not." "I'll help you." "That's an offer." "That shouldn't be an obstacle." "That's very nice of you." "The nice thing about the job is ... that you get around a lot." "I love big foreign cities at night." "Are you fond of traveling?" "Depends!" "Yes, I think so." "It can be marvelous:" "travel, new experiences, foreign cities, music..." "Do you like art?" "Art?" "I don't know." "Theater, concerts, good movies?" "Oh, yes," "I love the movies." "Pictures about passion... and pain." "Lovely!" "We could learn together." "That makes it easier." "I was lucky to have parents ... who pointed out to me at an early age ... the beautiful things in life." "What were yours like?" "My father was a toolmaker." "Very interesting." "We didn't have much." "Lot's of work and not much fun." "That's how it was." "They didn't have a good life." "A tiny apartment, three kids ... screaming all the time." "But your parents devoted themselves to you as a child, didn't they?" "Devoted themselves to us?" "We were in the way, a nuisance most of the time." "Poor child!" "It must have been dreadful." " No!" "" "They meant it well." "Besides, they left us in peace." "It's better if parents don't interfere ... with all the things you have in your head." "Even so, leaving children to their own devices?" "I'm not so sure." "You know ..." "I have a daughter myself?" "I haven't always time to look after her, but ..." "I know she's at the best boarding school there is." "It's a reassuring feeling." "I liked school." "Didn't you?" "No," "I don't think I did." "I know I was glad when it was over." "Although I was fairly good." "I'm sure you're very intelligent." "Intelligent?" "Yes." "But I didn't like learning in those days." "The things I was interested in, I found easy." "It was the same with me." "I was unbeatable at the things I liked." "Funnily enough, I loved mathematics." "I didn't." "I was always bad at arithmetic." "It was OK at first, but later, with those letters and so on," "I was lost." "Strange!" "Algebra fascinated me ... tremendously." "Tremendously!" "Algebra?" "No, that wasn't for me." "Never could understand it!" "Why stick a letter onto a number?" "I still don't understand." "It's not important." "There are more important things in the world." "I loved gymnastics, and athletics in summer," "or games, like handball." "I wasn't keen on gymnastics on the apparatus." "I always had better grades in summer." "Did you?" "No, I preferred apparatus work." "It requires ... discipline." "Another of those words young people hate, I suppose?" "Discipline's OK as long as you're having fun." "But discipline for its own sake, or compulsion..." "I don't think that's good." "It's funny, but ..." "I need a push to make me do things." "Like needing money, or having to keep a promise." "If there were no compulsion," "I'd be totally lost at times." "Yes, I understand." "But it's better if you can do without it." "My Dad took us on a bike ride every Sunday." "The whole family pedaled away." "Him in front, then Mom, then us three girls behind." "He cycled like mad out in front." "He was a man." "When we came home we were worn out, and he was as fresh as a daisy." "Then he had a row about nothing with Mom every Sunday." "Anyway, we all had to go along." "Maybe I'd have chosen to go along sometimes, but it was never fun that way." "The thought of it is amusing, though:" "Dad, Mom, and us three girls on our bikes!" "Isn't it?" "Why... yes!" "It was brutal of your father, but that's not the sort of compulsion I mean." "I'm talking about the constraints people accept ... that they wish for and need." "How are your parents?" "They're both dead." "I'm so sorry for you." "Both of them?" "Dad killed Mom, then hanged himself." "No!" "How terrible!" "Now you see me in a different light." "It's always the same." "People like me, until they hear my story." "Then it's all over." "No, Karin." "On the contrary." "I feel... a great affection for you." "Even greater now I've heard your family history." "We must make amends to you." "Let's be real friends, hmm?" "Sure." "It makes things easier." "A bottle of sekt!" "She's a good girl." "She does all my work for me." "But tell me..." "How did it happen...?" "My parents, you mean?" "Quite simple!" "Didn't you read about it in the papers?" "No, I can't remember." "Dad drank like a fish..." "No, it wasn't like that..." "One day his firm told him:" ""Thimm, we're a competitive firm," ""and there's no room for people of your age."" "I'm not sure exactly." "I wasn't there, but it was something like that." "He broke down, cried and began to thrash about." "Somebody from works security came and threw him out." "He went to his regular bar ... and got drunk." "What else could he do?" "Dad always drank heavily." "Then he went home," "killed Mom and hanged himself." "He saw no future for himself and his wife." "It's as simple as that." "I went off to Australia, but ... things are not so rosy there either." "You don't get anywhere without pushing." "All that's going to change, Karin." "We're both going to do our best ... to make something out of your life." "Wouldn't that be great!" "I've often given up hope." "I had a bellyful with my husband!" "He made me slave and said he'd make a pile of money." "He said it was only a matter of time." "He got on my damned nerves." "Cheers!" "Cheers!" "Here's to us!" "That we use our opportunities." "I can see you now, striding down the runway." "I'll design a collection specially for you." "I'll make a top model out of you." "You're beautiful, Karin." "Do you like this kind of music?" "They're records from my youth." "They either make me sad... or really happy." "It depends." "From the time with my first husband." "What a romance that was!" "Someone once said beautiful things don't last long." "There's some truth in that." "Pierre was killed in an accident." "He was a passionate driver." "Pierre was..." "He was a handsome man, but obsessed." "He thought he was immortal." "But he wasn't." "He'd been dead 4 months when our daughter was born." "It wasn't easy for me." "But everything is predestined in life." "I had to put up with it." "People are terrible, Karin." "They can bear anything." "People are hard and brutal." "Everyone is replaceable." "Everyone!" "That's something they have to learn." "Where are you staying?" "At the Hotel Übersee." "In a hotel?" "That must be expensive." "27 marks, including breakfast." "Exactly!" "Who can afford that for long?" "You can move in with me." "It's cheaper and ... anyway it's nicer." "I..." "You don't want to?" "I'd love to." "I simply meant..." "Maybe I'll get on your nerves." "I know myself, Karin." "You won't get on my nerves." "I know what I'm like." "I'm often very lonely." "We'll make it cozy for ourselves." "If you think so..." "Yes, I'd love to." "I love you." "I love you, Karin." "I love you." "We shall conquer the world together." "I want to caress you, kiss you." "I like you, too, Petra." "Very much." "But ... give me time!" "Please!" "I'll give you time." "We have time enough." "We have so much time." "Time to get to know each other." "We shall love each other." "Bring us the sekt!" "Did you cancel the flight?" "What?" "Did you cancel the flight?" "Why?" "Sorry, I'm still in bed." "I'll do it myself." "No, I'll do it." "Let me get up." "Why shouldn't I do it?" "I booked two seats to Madrid on the 25th." "For Kant and Thimm." "Yes, OK." "I'm afraid I have to cancel them." "No, not just now." "Yes, thanks." "It's pointless cancelling flight tickets." "Either you turn up or you don't." "They notice in time." "It's a matter of courtesy." "You'll learn that some day." "Thanks." "Don't mention it." "My shoes!" "Hurry up!" "I'm beginning to think she's screwy." "She's not screwy." "She loves me." "Well, have fun!" "Thank you." "You're not going back to school?" "Is that final?" "Why should I?" "I won't learn anything." "We never stop learning." "You and your pearls of wisdom!" "It's just experience." "Let me phone them and apologize on your behalf." "Then you can go back." "It's worth finishing something you've started." "It always pays off." "If you think so!" "Yes..." "I do." "OK, then." "Exactly." "Fix me a gin and tonic!" "You drink too much." "Be careful you don't put on weight!" "Screw you!" "Don't forget, your figure is your fortune." "It's all you have." "If you think so." "I don't think so." "I know it!" "Cheers!" "I love you." "I do, too." "Shit! "I do, too!" "I do, too!"" "Say: "I love you"." "Sure." "Come on!" "OK." "I like you." "I love you." "You have the loveliest skin in the world." "Do I?" "Yes." "And the loveliest hair." "The loveliest shoulders." "And the loveliest eyes." "I love you." "I love you." "Leave me alone!" "But why?" "I haven't cleaned my teeth yet." "I don't mind." "But I do." "Stop it!" "I want to read." "Please!" "I'll leave you in peace ... if it disgusts you." "It doesn't disgust me." "We can't play with each other 24 hours a day." "We can." "Oh, Petra!" "I could remain forever in your embrace." "Why do you have to be so cruel?" "I haven't done a thing to you." "I'm just trying hard." "I'm not being cruel." "That's easily said." "You say you're not cruel, but when I need you, you repulse me." "Karin?" "Yes?" "May I..." "I just want to sit with you for a while." "Where were you last night?" "Where were you last night?" "I went dancing." "Till 6 in the morning?" "What about it?" "They're not open that long." "No?" "No." "Who did you go ..." ""dancing" with?" "What?" "Tell me who you went dancing with!" "With a man." "Oh yes?" "Yes." "What man?" "A big black man with a big black dick." "I see." "Want another one?" "Yes, make me another one." ""Please"!" "Forget it!" "No, I won't forget it." "But you could be more friendly." "Here!" "Thank you, dearest!" "What was he like?" "In bed?" "For instance." "Insatiable." "Oh yes?" "Extremely!" "Just imagine, his big black hands on my white skin!" "And... those lips!" "You know, those blacks all have big, warm lips." "Don't faint, darling!" "Stop staring, you silly cow!" "Bring me the newspapers!" "No need to get hysterical." "The best is still to come." "Don't be so mean!" "I'm not being mean." "I'm telling the truth." "We always said we wanted to be frank with each other." "But you can't stand it." "You want to be told lies." "Yes, lie to me!" "Lie to me!" "OK, it isn't true." "I was walking alone all night, thinking about us." "Really?" "That's not true." "Of course not!" "I did sleep with a man." "But that's not important, is it?" "No, of course not." "But..." "I don't understand..." "Really..." "I don't understand." "Why?" "Why?" "Don't cry, Petra." "Listen, I like you, I love you, but..." "It's obvious:" "I need a man from time to time." "That's the way I am." "It doesn't affect us." "I just use men, that's all." "That's all there is to it." "Just a bit of fun." "You were always talking of liberty." "You always said:" ""No obligations towards each other."" "Don't cry!" "I always come back to you." "How my heart aches!" "As if someone had stabbed it with a knife." "No need for it aching." "That won't help." "No need for it to ache." "He who uses "need" without a "to", need not use "need" at all." "I know I'm not as clever as you." "I know that." "You're lovely." "I'm so fond of you." "Everything aches with love for you." "Want another one?" "I must watch my figure." "Will you be seeing him again?" "Who?" "That guy?" "Are there so many?" "Come on!" "Well?" "No, I'm not seeing him again." "I don't even know his name." "Besides, he said he's being transferred." "Really a black?" "Yes." "Why?" "Just so." "He was really great." "You'd have liked him." "He wasn't really black;" "more brown, with an intelligent face." "Some blacks have European faces, don't they?" "I wouldn't know." "They do." "And he was one." "He told me lovely things about the States." "Karin, please!" "OK, I'll shut up." "I thought we'd sorted things out." "You don't have to rave about him." "You're hitting the bottle, too." "What else do I have?" "Come off it!" "You're getting hysterical." "I'm not hysterical." "I'm suffering." "You thrive on suffering." "It's easy for you to talk." ""People thrive on suffering!"" "It's true." "I'd rather be happy, Karin." "I'd much rather be happy." "All this makes me ill." "What does?" "Forget it!" "Tell me what makes you ill." "You!" "You make me ill." "Because I don't know why you stay with me." "Whether it's my money, or because you have a better chance with me ... or because you love me." "Because I love you, of course." "Shit!" "Stop it!" "If you won't believe me..." "Believe you?" "It has nothing to do with believing you." "Of course I believe you love me." "But I don't know." "I really don't know." "That's what's making me ill." "Listen!" "An outstanding contribution to next winter's fashion ... was made by Petra von Kant with her new creations." "There's a picture of you!" "No!" "Show me!" "There!" "Crazy!" "Not bad, eh?" "Tell me!" "Yes ... very nice!" "Very nice, very nice!" "It's fabulous!" "The first time my picture's been in the papers." "I don't believe it!" "I love you..." "Come here!" "Forget it!" "I'll take it." "Von Kant here." "It's for you ... from Zurich." "Zurich?" "Who do you know in Zurich?" "No idea!" "Karin Thimm speaking!" "Who?" "Freddy!" "What are you doing in Zurich?" "What brings you to Zurich?" "When?" "3 o'clock in Frankfurt?" "Hold on, I'll ask." "When's the next flight to Frankfurt?" "Half past two." "The next flight from Bremen's at 2:30." "I'll try to get a seat." "If not, call me from Frankfurt!" "I love you." "That was my husband." "Freddy's in Zurich." "He's in Europe." "Book me a flight to Frankfurt, please!" "Be a dear!" "Please!" "Lufthansa?" "..." "Petra von Kant speaking." "I'd like to book a seat on the 1 4: 25 flight to Frankfurt." "Full up?" " No. " "There's room in the first class?" "Fine!" "Book the ticket in the name of Karin Thimm." "I don't believe it!" "Freddy's here!" "45 minutes before take-off, I know." "I don't believe it!" "You told me ... you and your husband..." "I thought you were through." "That was ages ago." "You might at least ... have told me ... you were in touch again." "Freddy's my husband." "Of course I've written to him." "You said you wanted a divorce." "I said maybe we'd divorce one day." "Anyone can change their mind in six months." "You know what you are?" "No ... but I'm sure you'll tell me." "You're a rotten little whore." "Mean and rotten." "You think so?" "Yes, I do." "A nasty little creature!" "When I look at you I could throw up." "You'll be glad I'm leaving, then." "I am!" "But it's almost too late." "I wonder why you didn't work the streets from the beginning." "It was less strenuous with you, darling." "Yes ..." "I see." "My God, how mean you are." "How can you deceive someone like that ... when you know they love you?" "I didn't deceive you, Petra." "Oh yes, you lied to me." "You weren't straight with me." "That's enough." "I said I love you, Petra." "That wasn't a lie." "I love you ... in my own way." "You must admit that." "I'd have reacted quite differently if you..." "How can anyone be so mean?" "You knew how I felt, what happened to me." "That's not true." "I didn't know what had "happened" to you for a long time." "At first, you behaved as if it were just fun." "I can't help loving you." "I can't help it." "I need you." "I need you so much." "I'd do anything for you." "I want to exist only for you." "You're all I have." "I'm so alone without you, so very lonely." "Lonely, without a whore?" "Forgive me, please!" "Try to understand what's going on in me." "Don't be so cruel!" "Get up!" "I'm in a hurry!" "Oh you rotten little rat!" "You'll pay for that." "You won't forget that, ever." "I don't know what I'm doing anymore." "Please understand!" "Give me some money!" "For the plane and for Frankfurt." "Freddy never has any money." "Yes." "I'm good enough for that." "For paying." "Oh my God!" "How much?" "Come on!" " 500 " "I'll give you 1 000, so you won't be short." "500 are enough." "Really." "Take the thousand!" "What does it matter now?" "Marlene, drive her to the airport!" "I'm too drunk." "You're really leaving me?" "Yes." "No, this isn't von Kant!" "Yes?" "No..." "I hate you," "I hate you, I hate you!" "If only I could die!" "Simply be gone!" "The pain!" "I can't bear it." "I can't go on." "Oh, God, what a bitch!" "The rotten little bitch!" "I'll show you one day!" "I'll make you suffer." "You'll come crawling to me, you little whore!" "You'll kiss my feet." "I'm so screwed up." "What did I do to deserve this?" "What did I do?" "I love you still." "Don't be so cruel, Karin!" "Oh shit!" "I need you so much!" "Phone me, at least!" "Phone me!" "Please!" "Just let me hear your voice!" "That's not asking too much." "Phone me!" "That doesn't cost you anything." "No, the bitch wouldn't dream of it." "She has it all worked out." "She just lets me wait..." "It's so sordid!" "You nauseate me!" "A dirty little slut!" "And I love you so much!" "I'm crazy about you." "If only you knew how it hurts!" "I hope you'll feel the same one day, feel all washed up." "It'll look different then." "You're so damned stupid!" "It could be so lovely, just the two of us." "You'll understand one day." "But it'll be too late then." "Much too late." "I'll show you...!" "Happy birthday, Mom!" "Gaby!" "Isn't Grandma here yet?" "No." "I've so much to tell you." "Of course, my dear." "Marlene, make tea for us!" "What a flight!" "It was so bumpy!" "I felt sick." "Mom, it's ages since I saw you." "Dearest Mom!" "Four months." "Isn't Karin here?" "No." "But she's coming later?" "I don't think so." "Doesn't matter!" "I didn't like her particularly." " No?" "" "Well, you know..." "She's rather... common, isn't she?" "No, she's not." "It's not important." "Mom," "I'm so unhappy." "Unhappy?" "No," "I'm terribly happy, really." "I don't know." "It's all so difficult." "What is, my dear?" "Mom ..." "I'm in love." "You're...?" "How funny!" "You, in love!" "Your reaction is terrible." "Terribly bourgeois!" "I'm sorry, my dear." "You were always my little girl." "I must get used to the fact that you're growing up." "Please do!" "Tell me about your boyfriend, Gaby!" "That's just it, Mom." "He isn't my boyfriend yet." "He doesn't even know I love him." "He's so obstinate." "For three weeks I've been trying to flirt with him, but he just snubs me, behaves as if I didn't exist." "It's so difficult." "It'll work out, Gaby." "Believe me!" "He's so handsome." "You've no idea how handsome he is." "He's very tall, slim, has long fair hair ... and looks a bit like Mick Jagger." "How do you know?" "I'm not saying." "You're so clever, Mom." "You're the cleverest mother in the world." "Who was it?" "What's up?" "Don't cry!" "What's happened?" "Nothing, Gaby!" "Nothing's happened." "Stop crying!" "There's nothing wrong at all!" "See to the cake and cream!" "Get the hell out of here ... and see to the cake!" "Or are you deaf?" "Get out!" "Why do you treat her so badly?" "She doesn't deserve any better ... and she likes it that way." "She's happy like that, you see?" "No." "You don't have to worry about servants." "I don't want to argue with you on your birthday, but I want you to know I don't share your opinion at all." "That's OK." "Children have a right to develop their own ideas." "Isn't that what they say today?" "I'll go!" "May I announce:" "Baroness Sidonie von Grasenabb!" "My dear!" "Happy birthday!" "With all my heart, Petra!" "Open it later!" "How's school, Gaby?" "Not bad, Aunt Sidonie." "Satisfactory is satisfactory, I always say." "Marlene, another cup, quickly!" "I think Mom treats Marlene badly." "I don't think you're old enough to judge your mother's actions." "OK, then I won't say anything." "How are you, dearest?" "What should I say?" "I'm well." "Nice, isn't it?" "Thanks." "Tell me..." "I read about your success in Milan." "Congratulations!" "It's a pain in the butt." "Stop laughing!" "Let her laugh!" "Laugh, then!" "I'm fed up with my work;" "designing things and fearing they won't succeed." "It's always the same, and for what?" "You have to live." "You have to work to earn money." "And you need money to live." "That's just it." "Money's everything." "The cake!" "She wants to annoy me." "I don't think so." "If only she would!" "Don't talk like that!" "Any news from Karin?" "From Karin?" "No ... and you?" "I know she's working for Pucci." "Oh, for Pucci?" "She's very talented." "She'll go far, I'm sure." "Talented?" "That's not talent." "She just knows how to sell herself." "Aren't you being unjust?" "Maybe you're too subjective." "She's in Bremen today." "She's...?" "You're really well informed." "To tell the truth," "Karin phoned me this morning." "Otherwise I wouldn't have known." "Did you...?" "Naturally I told her it was your birthday." "She said she'd try to drop in, but she wasn't sure." "She's terribly busy." "She is terribly busy." "Oh, yes..." "I know." "You must get a grip of yourself, Petra." "It's so easy to go downhill." "I'll go!" "So sorry, I just couldn't find a taxi!" "Happy birthday!" "Sidonie, you're looking younger every day." "Really, Auntie?" "That comes from being happy." "The traffic in this town will be the death of me." "How's school Gabriele?" "So, so." "Have you been quarreling?" "I was forbidden to talk." "That's not true, Gaby." "I was forbidden to have an opinion." "Nobody forbade anything." "That's a lie." "You forbade me to say anything." "What a terrible child!" "Calm down, children!" "Let's be nice with each other!" "You make me sick, all of you!" "Well, really!" "Stay here, Sidonie!" "What's wrong, dear?" "You're all so false." "Dishonest little rats!" "You have no idea." "You revolting child!" "I hate you." "I hate you all!" "Don't touch me!" "If you only knew how filthy you are!" "Cheers!" "A pack of parasites!" "What's the matter with her?" "Poor dear!" "I'm not poor!" "I see you in a new light." "And what I see makes me want to throw up." "You'll smash the whole house!" "So what?" "Did you work for it?" "You've not done a stroke of work all your life." "First you let father keep you, then me." "Do you know what you are?" "A whore, Mother!" "A miserable little whore!" "What I've earned," "I'll smash as long as I like." "Do I make myself clear?" "I don't understand a thing." "What have we done?" "It's all because of that girl." "What girl?" "Karin." "What about Karin?" "Everyone knows Petra is crazy about Karin." "Crazy?" "I'm not crazy." "I love her ... as I've never loved anything before." "You love her?" "You love a girl?" "Her little finger is worth more ... than all of you together." "Mom, please!" "Get lost, you little horror!" "Marlene!" "Gin!" "Ten bottles of gin!" "My daughter loves a girl." "How peculiar!" "A girl!" "My daughter!" "Karin!" "No, I can't stand it anymore!" "I'll smash everything!" "Everything!" "We must calm her down." "You get a kick out of it." "Enough to gossip about for a year." "Shut your trap!" "I feel so sick." "Oh God, O God!" "I'm going." "I don't have to put up with this." "Go then!" "Get lost!" "Do you think I'm worried about you?" "I never want to see you again." "Never again, do you hear?" "You'll pay for this, Petra." "You'll live to regret it." "I won't pay for anything." "I've paid for enough." "Anyone else leaving?" "The door's open." "Beat it!" "Beat it!" "I've had enough of you." "I've nothing left to give." "I'm all washed up." "Gin, Marlene!" "Gin!" "Or are you leaving, too?" "What are you all crying about?" "You're all so happy." "Everyone's happy." "My child, my poor child!" "I want to die, Mother." "I really want to die!" "There's nothing in the world worth living for anymore." "In death ... everything's quiet ... and lovely ... and peaceful, Mother." "Everything's peaceful." "I love you so much, Mother!" "You take some tablets, drop them in water, swallow them ... and sleep." "It's so good to sleep." "I haven't slept for so long." "I want to sleep." "A long, long sleep." "Gaby's sleeping." "I'll be my old self again, Mother." "Where there's turmoil, human beings are so feeble." "It's 35 years since you were born." "Gaby has had a shock." "Mother, I beg you..." "It's no reproach." "You should simply know." "I visited Father's grave." "Somebody laid flowers on it." "I don't know who." "It's the second time." "I was afraid ... you'd despise me because of Karin." "I know." "Maybe I do." "It was raining 35 years ago." "The rain was beating on the window panes." "I'm so afraid." "I'm so alone." "I often visit Father's grave." "Much more than I used to." "And I go to church again." "I didn't even enjoy my work ... these last six months." "I had the feeling my head was bursting with pain." "You must have the courage to believe." "Everyone needs some kind of solace." "And ... one is alone without God." "That's no solace." "You have to learn to love without demanding." "It's the same thing, believe me." "I didn't love her." "I just wanted to possess her." "That's all over." "I've learned my lesson ... and it was very painful." "You must be good to Gaby." "Children are so sensitive." "I know." "She cried awfully before she fell asleep." "Don't torture me, Mother!" "What good does it do?" "I have to speak my mind." "Petra von Kant's residence." "Who?" "Just a moment!" "Karin." "Thank you!" "Yes, of course I minded." "But that's all over." "No, it's..." "It's late now and..." "No, I can't make it tomorrow." "You're off to Paris?" "But we'll see each other sometime." "Of course." "All the best!" "You can go now, Mother." "I've calmed down now." "I've made peace with the world." "I'll give you a call." "I have to apologize to you for many things, Marlene." "In future, we'll really work together." "You'll have what you're entitled to:" "freedom and fun!" "Not like that!" "Tell me about yourself." "Subtitles:" "Peter + Waltraut Green Sincro:" "ShooCat"