"Now on "Top Gear"" "can we learn to sell used cars?" "Test drive a car, and you get a free pony ride." "Can a car be sporty... and economical?" "Oh, what happened to saving the planet?" "And can Tim Allen rip up our test track?" "[ Cheers and applause ]" "Welcome to "Top Gear"." "On this show, nobody will find true love, nobody will find their real father." "But if you like cars, this is where you belong." "I'm Adam Ferrara, that's Tanner Foust, and this is Rutledge Wood." "And this is a Honda CR-X." "Now, back in the '80s, they made three versions of this..." "The hf, which got incredible mileage over 50 Miles to the gallon..." "The DX, which is what I bought when I was 17, and the car that I really wanted, which was the sports version, the SI." "Now, Honda's got a new coupe that they think combines all three..." "Affordability, sportiness, and fuel economy..." "Into one single model." "Wood:" "San Francisco..." "Famous for its Bridges, outdated modes of transport," "Crayola stores, and home to some of the steepest city streets in the world..." "The perfect place to test Honda's new compact." "This is the 2011 Honda CR-Z." "The letters stand for compact renaissance zero, which is a new-agey way of saying" ""we've been down this road before in the '80s."" "So is this the new CR-X?" "Now, the Honda CR-Z looks great." "It's a foot longer and four inches taller than the CR-X, but it does maintain the same basic wedge shape." "It's got a racy front end, a low center of gravity." "It's got a stick shift so you know it's a serious driver's car." "And the price?" "Well, it starts at just a little over $19,000." "The interior has that arty hipster feel in a mass-produced Honda kind of way." "Lots of shiny buttons and electronics." "There's just two seats, and behind them is a weird space with a sign on it that says "if you sit here, you'll die."" "But here's the most surprising thing about the car..." "It's a hybrid." "No, seriously, it is." "Honda has set out to break the mold of boring, hemp-shirt-wearing, hydroponic-plant-growing hybrids with this sporty-looking ride." "Every time you see a Prius on the road, or an insight, you think "nerdmobile."" "Well, in this car, it doesn't look like a hybrid." "I mean, it looks like a fun little car." "[ Engine revs ]" "So, how fast does the CR-Z-to-60?" "[Shew!" "]" "26 Miles an hour in first gear." "Now 36." "Boy, it's a rocket ship." "49, 50." "50, 50..." "I'm bored." "This is a cruel joke." "A car that looks this good shouldn't be so slow." "It's like being locked in a room with Eva Longoria, but the only thing you're allowed to do is watch her play sudoku." "But it is a two-seater, so you must be getting like 1,000 Miles per gallon, right?" "I think you'll be surprised." "If you want to save the world, you should probably just buy one of these, because a Prius will get 50 Miles a gallon." "This CR-Z will get 37." "But..." "[ Tires squealing ]" "Can the Prius do that?" "Finally, I found the key to the CR-Z's chastity belt." "How you doing?" "It's a hybrid." "What Honda has done has given us three different driving modes that will dramatically change the way the car drives, unlike the buttons in the Prius and insight." "At the flick of a switch, it's like you're back in the CR-X SI." "In fact, you can reach 60 Miles an hour in just 8 seconds." "Can you feel that?" "That's the electric motor kicking in, giving you 56 extra foot-pounds of torque." "So it seems like the perfect car for someone who wants pretty good gas mileage, but isn't quite ready to give up on life." "But we needed a challenge." "To see if it can stand up to the rigors of city life, we're gonna run it against something even greener..." "Bicycles." "But not just any bicycles." "Nope, we'll be racing two pro free-ride Mountain bikers who know San Francisco like the back of their hand." "I'll be racing them to settle the question..." "Has Honda succeeded in making a hybrid sporty?" "But since I don't know my way around town, the producers have been gracious enough to give me a navigator." " Hiya, pal." " Hey." "Of course, the guy from New York helping me around San Francisco." "Look at this." "How hard could it be?" "It's a grid." "It's a foggy grid." "We got this." "The race would cover 13 Miles." "From the starting line here at twin peaks, we would wind downhill through the streets of San Francisco into the warehouse district, up and down the hilliest part of the city, and then along the waterfront to fort point" "at the foot of the golden gate bridge." " Ready, paper boys?" " We're good." " All right." " Wood:" "Go." "That's cute." "Keep pedaling." "You're going the wrong way." "Whoa!" "Wood:" "Adam, get in the car!" "Ferrara:" "It was clear that the paper boys were gonna play dirty." "They took the early lead, but we had 13 Miles and San Francisco's steep hills, to wheel them back in." "I mean, what are the chances we can lose to two guys on bikes?" "We're in a car." "Yeah, but we're in a hybrid." "This is a sporty hybrid." "And it's got a six speed." "Come on, a hybrid with a six?" "It's like putting a spoiler on a golf cart." "A mile in, and we still hadn't caught up with the bikers." "I didn't know whether to blame the car or Mrs. Doubtfire's driving." " You know, there's shift points." " You're killing me." " You're killing me." " They're shift points." "I don't care what there is." "Push sport and go." "All right." "[ Indistinct shouting ]" "The bikes are in the park." "Come on, let's go." "Finally, we got them in our sights." "Now it was time to see what the CR-Z was made of." " Where are they?" " Here they are." "Holy crap!" "[ Tires squealing ]" "Get in the bike Lane!" "Can this thing go any faster?" "!" "Oh, what happened to saving the planet?" "Wood:" "We had taken the lead, but in the excitement, Adam's map-reading went South." "Uh-oh." "All right, we're at Castro." "Two guys in a two-seater hybrid." "We should blend in just fine." "Mm-hmm." "Certainly is a colorful part of town." "Long live the rainbow." "Looks just like your dash." "It changes color for different moods." "You have a mood dash?" "Yeah, like if you're in economy, it's green like it is right now." "Give it a little gas, it turns to blue." "And then if you really step on it, red." "All right, well, I want to see nothing but red." "Come on, let's go." "Adam's diversion had set us back, and the bikers were racing ahead." "But I was still confident..." "Perhaps too confident." "You want to run 'em." "It's a hybrid." "I know you're in an m-3." "I'm goin'." "[ Tires squealing ]" "[ Laughs ]" "See, look at that smile on your face." "You got a little bit out of me there." " You ever smiled in a Prius?" "No." " No." " You ever smiled in an insight?" " Nope." "No way." "Ferrara:" "Five Miles in, we hit the warehouse district." "And there they were." "They're right there!" "Go, go, go!" "Wood:" "Since they seemed to know where they were going better than Adam," "I decided to follow them." "Go that way." "Oh, crap." "We're not gonna make it!" "[ Tires squealing ]" "Bad idea." "Ferrara:" "We were halfway into the race, and the paper boys had the edge." "You see them?" " Not yet, but they're around." " Keep your eyes peeled." "The bikes might be able to hop, skip, and jump their way through every shortcut, but there was one thing they wouldn't be able to trick their way out of..." "The hills." "Wow." "They're never gonna make this." "Holy moly." "Oh, that's them." "Get it red, get it red!" "Bye, fellas." "Wood:" "The race was ours, 'cause they just had legs, and we had sport mode." "Oh, man, it's like six flags." "Hold on." " [ Laughs ]" " Your wheel, dude." "Your wheel." "Ferrara:" "The hills turned out to be fun, and we were back in the lead." "But Rutledge was easily distracted." " Look at that." " What?" "Car shut off." "Foot's on the brake, I put it in neutral." "We're at a traffic light." "The car shuts off." " Okay, so we're saving gas." " Yes." "So maybe that is kind of cool." "So now it starts up when you step on the clutch?" "Yes." "Downhill, the 12-year-olds had the advantage." "Uphill, we had the edge." "Or we would have, if Rutledge didn't stop every time he found something he liked about the car." "Check this out." "It's got hill assist." "Watch this." "Take my foot off the brake." "The car doesn't slide." "Then we go." "Wood:" "I was loving the CR-Z." "It was the perfect car for a city like San Francisco, and I mean that in a good way." "We were attacking hills, spinning tires, while still getting around 30 Miles per gallon." "This was a race, and I was going to win it in a hybrid." "[ Bell dings ]" " I got a shortcut." " Make this right." " Right here." " Make this right." " Adam!" " Okay, okay." "The shortest distance between two points..." "Is a straight line." " You're not helping." " Not this." "You're really not helping." "Oh, they're behind us!" "Well, don't let them get in front of us." "They're hitting the car." "They went down the stairs!" "Man!" "The bikes were just ahead of us, but we were leaving the hills." "And the finish line at fort point was only a mile and a half away." "Look, look... bridge and fog." "Yep, there it is." "Ferrara:" "Our confidence was at an all-time high." "We're going 35." "There's no way they can go that fast here." "Look at that wind." "Wow!" "Look at the kite." "Right here." "Make the hill." "Let's go." "Let's go." "Down here." "I don't see 'em." "Come on." "Come on, come on." "[ Tires squealing ]" "Don't look to the right." "[ Exhales sharply ]" "[ Cheers and applause ]" "You guys got absolutely beat down by the BMX bandits." "First off, they are Mountain bikers, and they are some of the best in the world." "Second, it was in San Francisco." "They need to rename it "the city of stop signs."" "It was ridiculous." "The car did everything it was supposed to..." "That's why there's nothing wrong with it." "It's everything great that the original CR-X was." "It's got the hf... that's the econ for the good mileage..." "The normal, which was like the DX, and then the sport, which was the SI." "This is a hybrid with attitude." "Yeah, like rupaul." "[ Laughter ]" "The CR-X was just better at all that stuff." "The hf got 50 Miles to the gallon instead of 37." "And on the other side, the SI was actually a quick car that you wanted to have." "This, I don't think, has any of that." "Well, the good news is you're getting all three of those cars for one low price." "And they all suck." "[ Laughter ]" "Coming up, we become used-car salesmen." "How are you?" "I'm doing pretty good." "Are you buying a car?" "There's an ass for every seat, Diego." " Don't be afraid to be that ass." " Okay." "Here is an incredible fact." "Did you know that in the U.S., the used-car business is 1/3 of $1 trillion business every single year?" "Now, that is a lot of cash." "And it gave our producers an idea." "Could they turn us into used-car salesmen to get a piece of that action?" "To find out, we took $3,000 of our own money and bought a used car, which we would then try to sell at a profit." "Whoever made the most money was the winner." "Simple... or so we thought." "Ferrara:" "Glendale, California, a classically beautiful part of America, but they've got the boulevard of cars... 60 dealerships in just 10 blocks." "That's more toothy smiles per mile than the great barrier reef." "It would be the perfect place for us to learn the used-car trade and make some cash." "This is Bobby." "He's a used-car salesman." "He was also naive enough..." "I mean, kind enough..." "To let us use his lot as our base." "This was gonna be easy." "So I'm in a competition to sell more used cars than Adam and Tanner." "And I've got tons of variety here, and let me tell you why I'm gonna win..." "Because I've been flipping cars my entire life." "Ever since I could drive, it was, "all right, how much can I pay for that?"" "And "how much can I sell it for?"" "But, you know, selling used cars is all about knowing your market." "So let's pick this car." "This is a Mazda-3." "It's a good car." "It's sporty, economical." "So who would I sell that to?" "Well, it's not a huge car, so I would say someone under 6 feet tall with short children." "The United States, Germany, Japan." "It's Epcot center." "The BMW 3 series... for girls with wealthy parents." "If you're the kind of person who's confused about everything in your life, well, I've got the answer for you... dodge caliber." "If you're having a midlife crisis and you're on a budget, this is your car." "You know, if Elvis had lived, he'd drive a CTS." "You want incognito, I have it." "The Chevy Malibu." "Looks like a rental car." "You know why?" "It was." "If you're a middle-aged man with an over-controlling wife, 2005 mini Cooper reduced, best price, under 40,000 Miles." "Look at that price... $6,999." "And that's just one year in maintenance." "[ Horn honks ]" "Hey!" "We're selling everything." "We sat down with Bobby, who gave us some of his trade secrets." " This is a right-now business." " Yeah." "'Cause, you know, once they leave here, there's gonna be at least 100 other dealerships." "Your odds of getting them back here are not very good." "So once you find out their needs and wants..." " Hot buttons." " Right." "Then you just focus on those." "Yeah, when you guys go in the back..." ""Let me talk to my manager"..." " There's nobody there, right?" " There's legitimately someone there." " Bobby." " It's usually the next room." "Have some coffee, talk about a football game." "Bobby, you don't go to the bathroom, come back..." ""I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do"?" " Sometimes you might." " When I looked at you," "I noticed two things..." "The pen and the Bluetooth." "Will those make me appear important?" "'Cause to me, it says, "this guy sells cars."" "A pen is just a writing utensil, so..." " Does promotion, like, work?" " Free hot dogs, let's say." "That seems to bring people in all the time." "Action creates action, you know." "Action creates action." "Action creates action." "What's some other lingo we need to know?" "Well, there's an ass for every seat." "There's an ass for every seat." "Or, a lot of ass for one seat." "First things first..." "We needed cars to sell." "However, Bobby's were way too expensive for us." "But he told us that there was a car auction going on where we could find some real gems." "It wasn't quite what we were expecting..." "Pebble beach concours d'elegance, this was not." "How you doing, sir?" "Ladies and gentlemen, auction is cash only." "You must come and pay in full for your vehicles by 2:00 P.M." "Foust:" "It turned out that most of these cars had been involved in crimes, and many had led lives more colorful than Jeffrey Dahmer." "The good news was the cars started at $350." "The bad news was that none of them were very good." "So we needed to save some cash to fix them up and to market them..." "Or at least find a way of distracting potential buyers." "The old prelude." "Has keys, will run." "Automatic." "High-school graduation ribbons on the dash." "That's so sad." "Ooh." "Now, see, this one's got an added bonus..." "Two baby seats in the back." "I like the Pontiac." "It's clean." "Look at the interior." "Nice and clean." "No cigarettes." "No cigarette burns." "No bullet holes." "Wow, they haven't even taken the CDs out of this thing." "That's about all it's worth, though, is the Abba CD in the backseat." "Ferrara:" "The Lexus, I like." "The Pontiac, I like." "But they all go late." " They always put the better ones late." " Yeah, I got to find something earlier." "Now we're talking." "914." "So this replaced the 356, you know, as the..." "Porsche." "It wasn't the most popular car." "It looks like maybe it burned a little bit." "But... wow!" "This is rough." " You really looking for a car?" " Yeah." " No kidding?" " Yeah, I got to find one." "Looking at something like this, what would you pay for it?" "Probably no more than a grand." "So if you paid 1,000 bucks for this, clean it up, what would you try to sell it for?" " About $1,500." " Okay." "The nice thing about it, though, is it's simple." "Porsches are simple." "It's just got a little four-cylinder in there." "Not a lot of electronics." "Nothing to go wrong." "This thing could be a runner." "I also like this Acura." "The body looks clean." "The interior... the front seat's clean." "I can't see how many Miles on it, but it does run." "Foust:" "I think this is the car that I want, but too many people are looking at this car right now." "I need it to spit some flame or some smoke or something right now." "Make some gestures like that like it's bad, like this." "I think a couple people saw that." "All right, so I'm going for the Lexus." "I tried to throw everyone off the trail." "I know it's the last one and that's risky, but it's the nicest car here, and I need a nice car to sell." "Good luck to everyone." "Here we go." "Wood:" "The auction was just beginning." "It was going to be a while before our cars were up." "Last chance." "Sold." "$620 going twice." "Last chance." "Sold." "$400 going twice." "Sold." "Foust:" "Finally, it was time for my car to be auctioned off." "914..." "I had hoped that I'd convinced other interested people that it was a dog." "We only had $3 grand each, and I needed most of that to fix up my car and market it." "But early signs were bad." "Clearly, my plan hadn't worked." "[ Auctioneer calling ]" "Oh, these guys are just going frickin' crazy on it." "$1,800 gonna go once." "$1,800 going twice." "Last chance." "[ Calling continues ]" "$1,850 gonna go once." "$1,850 going twice." "Sold, $1,850." "$1,850." "Are you kidding me?" "How'd it go?" "I didn't see?" "I bought it." " At?" " Great." " $1,850." " Oh!" "American?" "Not Canadian." "Wow, that's a lot of money." "Who was doing all the bidding?" "I don't know." "It was like a dance party around the thing." "We were behind you." "And it was hard for the guy to see our bids." "You were bidding on it?" " It was a great car." " It was you, you bastards." "Why would we not want it?" "Ferrara:" "The Acura was up next." "Gonna be a 1987 Acura legend." "White in color." "Buying it for unlicensed driving, running a moving vehicle." "I have a $400 opening bid." "$410, looking for $420." "$420, $430, $440, $450, $460, $470, $480, $490..." "Things were looking good." "My 1987 Acura legend managed to slip under everyone's radar." "$870 gonna go once. $870 going twice." "Last chance." "Sold for $870." "Foust:" "Adam and I both had cars, but Rutledge had put all of his eggs in an 18-year-old Lexus basket." "It was the last lot sale of the day." "Car number 51, 1992 Lexus ls-400." "He had to get the car at any cost to stay in the competition." "[ Auctioneer calling ]" "Ferrara:" "Unfortunately for him, he wasn't the only one who was interested in driving around in an outdated Japanese Mercedes." "The price continued to rise, and I was there to provide support." "You have to get this car." "You have to get this!" "[ Calling continues ]" "That's it." "Go." "That's too much." "$2,350 gonna go once." "$2,350 going twice." "Last chance." "Sold... $2,350." "[Whew!" "]" "Finally, we had our cars." "Rutledge had blown through almost all his money." "Tanner spent $1,850 on his toy sports car." "And me, I only spent $870, which meant I had $2,130 to fix it up and promote it." "I'll be honest." "I've never been a Lexus owner before, and it feels good..." "I feel fancy." "Well, you shouldn't be an owner for too long." "You have to sell it, my friend." "I think the important thing we have to do now, is get the hell out of this neighborhood." "Wood:" "The auction rules dictated that we couldn't drive our cars before we bought them." "Ferrara:" "So the 15-mile drive to the lot was the first chance we had to get to know our investments better." "[ Engine sputtering ]" "Wow." "This is sketchy." "I can't find first gear or reverse." "I'm telling you right now, I cannot believe we're gonna get on the frigging highway." "Ferrara:" "The air conditioning works." "Shifts pretty smooth." "Rides pretty nice." "It's comfortable." "I'm gonna make a fortune." "At $870, my car seemed a steal." "And there were a few unexpected extras thrown in." "I guess he smoked." "Smoked pot." "Oh, yeah." "[ Laughs ]" "Over in the Lexus, the extra $1,500 Rutledge spent on his granddad car, made the drive a little less eventful." "Wood:" "It feels great." "They put a lot of effort into this car." "They started working on the idea of the ls in 1983." "The project took five years, and they think it cost just over $1 billion." "That's a lot of engineering just to make sure the car did well on the American market." "[ Engine sputtering ]" "Foust:" "Come on, baby." "Up to speed we go." "[ Horn blaring ]" "This is so dangerous." "Giant freaking gas rig almost running over me." "You know, you never realize how big the other cars are out on the road, till you're driving a small one." "Good lord, we are gonna die." "Oh, no, no, no." "Stay there, Mr. motorcycle cop." "Stay there." "Why you got to get out now?" "Joint in the ashtray, and it's not mine." "I swear to God, officer." "Thank you." "Foust:" "There are a lot of great things about this car." "Don't get me wrong." "I mean, it's known to be one of the better-handling '70s sports cars out there." "Part of it's the mid-engine." "I mean, the engine is packed right in here." "It's a boxer engine, so it sits really low, it's really small and flat and lightweight." "The car only weighs 2,100 pounds completely wet." "Performance-wise, it's really not bad." "Take away the fact that it doesn't have a transmission, a first gear, or a reverse..." "[ Engine sputtering ]" "And you've got a car that you might be able to sell." "Wood:" "We made it back to the car dealership, where we had the night to make our cars more... sellable." "Ferrara:" "Coming up..." "We put on neck ties, and fake smiles to become true used-car salesmen." "Your tie's okay." "I'm worried about the shirt." "Ferrara:" "Sales day had arrived." "Now it was time to sit down with Bobby, our professional car salesman, and lay out our marketing plans." "The car is a sedan." "It's a family car." "I thought, okay, I got to reach everybody." "So I'm gonna have a barbecue." "Everybody loves barbecuing, and it always gets everybody's attention." "Second, free pony rides." "Nothing wrong with that, either." "Are the guys on lot gonna clean up the poop?" "Yeah, probably not." "What if I give them barbecue?" "They might actually do it for that." "I was thinking about bringing some models out." "What do you think about that?" "I think it's a good idea." "Sounds like it's gonna get a whole bunch of guys on the lot." "You know, on the same token, you may piss off a whole bunch of women." "But as long as you accomplish what you want to accomplish, that's all that matters at the end of the day, right?" "Which is..." " Sell the car." " Sell the car." "Oh, yeah." "With the models around, I might forget that, though." "So I want a big, like, advertising kind of marketing strategy." "Okay." "The guys that spin the signs..." "I love that..." " The guys that spin the signs." " Yeah, a sign spinner could work." "And an airplane." "Kind of a big airplane pulling a banner." "So, what if they get to do something they don't get to do every day?" "Like a reward for buying a car?" "You know, like, "buy a car... something."" "So, just to get them in." " And then I'll steer them to the Acura." " Well, that could definitely work." " Good luck, brother." " I appreciate it." "Time to sell some cars." "Gentlemen, I am completely perplexed by what you are wearing, but this is what a car salesman wears if he wants to sell some cars." "You look like a salesman, only smaller." " Thanks... okay." " Wood:" "You look like a shoe salesman." "Thank you." "I just got these shoes, actually." "You remember that sad little white 914 that had potential on its own?" "Well, feast your eyes..." " On this." " It's a sad orange 914." "No, this is excitement with some wheels on it." "What did you do to this thing, besides paint it a ridiculous orange?" "It's painted in a factory orange color that did come in the '74914." "It's got a new steering wheel and a new shift knob." " That's all you did?" " That's all I had to do." "It is just a cherry." "Why is it pointed that way?" "For convenience." " Really?" " Yeah." "That seems weird." "We just backed our cars on." "Why wouldn't you want to show people" " the front of your beautiful car?" " Doesn't have reverse." " I'm sorry, what?" " What?" " It doesn't have reverse." " It has no reverse?" " Yeah, it doesn't have reverse." " You're gonna sell a car with no reverse." "At least it's orange." "I can coast it down the ramp." "I figure we're fine." "Gravity?" "That's your plan?" "All right." "Peace, there, Gandhi." "What do you have under your cover?" "Are those wood shoes?" "Yes, they are, my friend." "But that's just part of the overall genius of my marketing concept that will sell this car." "Behold..." "[ Bells jingle ]" "Huh?" "It's... green and bells." "Green and bells." "Serenity, my friends." "Stress-free motors." "All I had to do was paint it green..." "The color of the heart chakra, I might add..." "Clean out the inside, take the tampons out of the glove compartment, get rid of the drugs in the ashtray, and we're all ready to go." "I'll sell this thing like that." "I hate to tell you guys that I trumped you, but we know I bought the nicest car at the auction." "We know that much." " Well, you know it." " The most expensive car, anyway." "But wait till you see..." "The stealth Lexus!" " It's flat black." " You ruined it!" "It's like the stealth bomber." "You're the only one of us that bought a decent car to begin with, and you absolutely trashed it." "What are you talking about?" "I threw a great set of wheels on there." "He spray-painted it." "Tinted the front turn signals and taillights." "And there's hair in the paint, Rutledge." "And it's not his." "I spent a little bit more on the car than I should have, so I didn't have money for a paint job, so I had to rattle-can it." "What exactly is your market for this thing?" "Well, I'm going after the family." "I don't want to give it away, but let's just say it's free and it has four legs." "It's 9:00 A.M. you know what that means." "Car time, baby." "Doors are open... time to sell." "Ferrara:" "And time to put our marketing plans into action." "Now, stress-free motors is supposed to be effortless, so I need you to spin the sign effortlessly." "Big smile." "Big smile." "That's it." "Free pony rides." "Test drive a car, and you get a free pony ride." "Does that say "buy a car... punch a clown"?" "Ferrara:" "Yes." "It's brilliant, isn't it?" "Think about it." "People are gonna read that and go, "what's that all about?"" "Wood:" "And Tara was working the barbecue grill." "Foust:" "My marketing plan was a bit more obvious..." "Morning, guys!" "... But got results..." "Okay, I'll bring Tanner in for you right now." "... And got me my first customer of the day." " I'm Tanner, by the way." " Patrick." "So, this is it." "The keys are in it." "Let me just go grab something out of the showroom real quick, and climb on in." "[ Engine sputtering ]" "Touchy throttle." " It's all that horsepower." " Yeah, I think so." "There's no horn." "Ooh, that was frightening." "Wood:" "Coming up..." "See if Tim Allen is faster than Tony hawk out on our test track." "Little wide. [Bleep]" "And later..." "You may not want to lick that." "I just prayed that yesterday, buddy." "[ Cheers and applause ]" "And now it's time to put a big star in our small car." "Our guest tonight, whether he's making a blockbuster film or a hit TV show, the first question he asks is" ""what kind of car am I gonna get to drive?"" "And now he's here on "Top Gear."" "Ladies and gentlemen, Tim Allen." "[ Cheers and applause ]" "First off, welcome." " You are car-guy royalty." " Thanks." "This is huge to have you here." "We're excited." "I'm delighted to be here." "I got to drive cars all morning." " Yeah, what a good gig." " Yeah, it was a great gig." "A lot of people associate you with hot rods because of "home improvement."" " Because..." " Well, they're fools!" "They're liars!" "Well, on the show, you guys built a '33 Ford roadster..." "Yes, this is true." "A '46 Ford convertible?" "[ Sighs ]" "And then your wife, Jill, on the show, you crushed her nomad." "I didn't crush a nomad." "We got more letters over that..." "We had 50,000 letters and guys calling." ""That's [Bleep] We're gonna kill you." "We're gonna hunt you down!"" "For a nomad?" "And I go, "well, number one, fools, I'm not an idiot." "I own that car."" "That was a Bel Air that we went to a junkyard and painted to look like the hero." "We're not gonna smash a nomad." "I gave that, with a signature, by the way, with Leno to the firemen after 9/11." "We auctioned that off." "How cool." "[ Applause ]" "Growing up in Detroit, what did Woodward Avenue represent to you guys?" "Well, it's a mile." "If you haven't been to Woodward Avenue, they have a Woodward cruise every year." "I go to Michigan." "If you like cars..." "But it's a straight road from Detroit to Pontiac, Michigan." "Literally, every mile is a light." "It's a drag strip." ""60 minutes" did a story on it, but before that story, it was the best drag strip in the country, because you could..." "It's literal, real racing." "And the better racers are the guys that could power shift, no clutch." "That was a time... it was the best time to grow up, because all of our dads worked at the car companies." "They'd go, "well, what's winning out there?"" "I'd go, "man, that 383 mopar is killing everybody."" ""Yeah?" "Well, we got something at Chevy." "Try this new 427."" "They were pumping out hot rods and let us drive them." "It was wonderful." "396 porcupine head Chevelle." "That was the one that was..." "That killed everybody." "And then 455 goats." "Eventually that became the king." "And 383 road runner." "A guy had a 383 that was the fastest damn car." "Now, you've had a lot of people who've built cars for you." "Right now, you're building a '55 Ford custom line." " It's on its way to be gorgeous." " It's on its way." "It looks a little geeky." "It looks a little homely right there." "I'm gonna put a jet-black paint job on it." "And it's got Thunderbird parts." "It's got a gt-40 motor." "It's got a custom race chassis." "It's gonna be a little lighter than the current gt 40, with more horsepower, so it's gonna be..." "And it's gonna get great gas mileage." "Not!" "I feel terrible about that." "Every time I bring this up..." "Because I have an older daughter..." "She says, "geez, dad, do you have anything that gets over 11 Miles per gallon?"" "I went, "uh..."" "I have an 1,180-horsepower hemi..." "Blown hemi... that I got in a '56 Ford pickup." "It gets.9 Miles per gallon." ".9!" "And the gas station..." "I have a shop in Burbank." "The gas station's a mile away." "I can't even get it to the gas station." "So how did the Suzuki compare?" "Oh, I don't know." "I don't want to offend Suzuki, because they make great bikes, and I'm sure they worked hard, and this car is an affordable thing." "But for me, it was embarrassing to drive up and see that that was what I was gonna be driving." "You thought we were kidding." "Then I get serge or spike or sludge or whatever his name is, the faceless guy..." "Horribly disfigured." "He took the helmet off in the car." "The Stig removed..." "And he's got three eyes, and his nose... he was hit..." " Terribly, terribly disfigured, yeah." " Wow." "Do you guys want to see his lap?" "Crowd members:" "Yeah!" "Let's check it out." "[ Engine revs ]" "A good launch in clutch second." "Easy on the throttle." "Easy." "You're not trying to kill anybody." "How dumb could a person look?" "Easy." "So, you love that helmet, huh?" "You look really good in that." "Geeky." "Do you think the helmet makes you look like a bigger geek," " or the car?" " No, me." "I look at pictures of me, and I go," ""who's that old man now?"" "[ Laughs ]" "What the [Bleep]" "Pretty smooth." "Throttle, baby." "Get back on it." "[ Laughs ]" "A little wide. [Bleep]" "Okay, coming over the... there, heading out on the backstretch." "What kind of speeds do you think you saw there?" "About 50, 55." "[ Laughs ]" "Oh, around the hay bales." "And it was like Alfred Hitchcock." "There was all these birds out there." "What was that all about?" " The crows loved you out there today." " There's crow crap everywhere." "Here we are turning into the s's." "Looks really nice." "All right, coming into the last turn here." "Oh, really pushing it." "And across the line!" "[ Applause ]" "Some pretty good times up there." "Where do you think you're going?" "You think you're headed to the top?" "No." "You think you're gonna be underneath Buzz Aldrin?" "No." "I won't be under buzz, but I needed to know what I had to get at." "That's easier for me to hit it." "Tim Allen, you did it in one minute..." "Ugh." "40... 4.0." "[ Cheers and applause ]" "That means the other Detroit boy, kid rock." "Kid rock." "This is horrible." "[ Laughter ]" "We could loan you a Suzuki, and you could practice, but..." "I'll buy my own air base." " There we go!" "There we go!" " I will beat them!" "Ladies and gentlemen, let's give it up for Tim Allen one more time." "[ Cheers and applause ]" "And coming up..." "We try to close the deal on our used-car salesman challenge." "Welcome back to "Top Gear."" "Tonight, we're seeing if we can cut it as used-car salesmen." "So far *** given it a quick makeover, and come up with a marketing strategy designed to attract the right buyer." "Yep, so far, so good." "Now all we have to actually do is sell them." "So, dad, you guys in the market for a new family sedan?" "You may not want to lick that." "I just sprayed that yesterday, buddy." "How about this?" "You guys buy the car..." "Talk to your dad." "I will let you take the pony for a weekend." "Foust:" "The near-death experience broke the ice between me and Patrick, and he was ready to make an offer." "He would sell it now for $2,900." "We're a little ways off, I think, on what we are looking for." "Okay." "How far off are we?" "Well, I would be looking to spend about... no more than 10% of that." "So, $290?" "He loves the pony." "You love the car." "What do you say?" "You want to make a deal?" "Rutledge was starting to feel the strain." "It feels like you're saying you don't like me and my tie and my car is terrible." "Your tie's okay." "I'm worried about the shirt." "Ferrara:" "But activity on the lot was starting to pick up." " What do you think of that?" " Looks pretty good." "Not bad at all." "Yeah, I like this." "So you finance bad credit, good credit..." "Good credit, bad credit..." "Doesn't matter..." "I'm sure we can work it all out." "There's an ass for every seat, Diego." " Don't be afraid to be that ass." " Okay." "How's it going?" "Good." "How are you?" " Good." "I'm Tanner." " I'm Todd." "Nice to meet you." "Okay, so, we're gonna turn right." "So this does need a lot of work here." "I want to show you this gorgeous black Lexus over here." "We are ready to go, my friend." "I like it already." "I like it already." "You know, it's not too pretentious." "It doesn't say, "hey, everybody, look at me."" "What it says is, "I got a Lexus, but I don't need to brag about it."" "We each had a potential buyer." "Now it was time to close the deal." "What if I told you you could have that car..." "For that price?" "Why don't you take a look at that number, tell me how that sounds to you?" "This car, we've got it listed at $3,300." "What number would relieve stress from you, my friend?" "What would you be comfortable paying?" "And what's the number we're at?" "With the quirks and everything, I can do $1,750." "$999." "That's only $1,200." "Cash." " Cash." " $1,200 cash." "Foust:" "While Adam and Rutledge were pushing papers, it was time to close the deal with my ultimate incentive package." "How are you?" "I'm doing pretty good." "Are you buying a car?" "I can't do it for $1,200." "Thanks for stopping by." " Pretty eyes." " Oh, thank you." " Are you from out here?" " Yeah, here in L.A." "Nice!" "$1,699." "That's not bad." "But here's what I had in mind." " You want the pen again?" " Yes." "You girls are looking good." "I'll give you that, yeah." "We would look even nicer in your new car." "If you can do this number, it's a done deal." "Right now." "I'll go to the bank and get you that money." "How about another $50 and we close it up?" "Let's split it. $25." "I'll take it." " You got a deal." " You got a deal." "You guys need to be making the deals here." "You know?" "Exactly." "The girls had done their thing." "Thank you." "It was time to make the deal." "So, you were at $1,750 as-is." "What do you say we make it $1,900 as-is, and it's yours?" "Let's split it. $1,850." "Done." " All right." " Yes!" "It's pretty good." "[ Cheers and applause ]" "Now, history wanted me to inform you that I disposed of the marijuana in my car immediately." "Okay, so I bought my car for $1,850." "I spent the rest of the 3 grand on the paint, the steering wheel, the shift knob, and the girls." "I was left over with... what is that?" "$1,150, I guess, is what I lost." "And you lost money." "I bought mine for $870." "I put $536 into paint and marketing." "And I sold it for $1,450." "I made $44." "Wow!" "That's pretty good." "Pretty impressive." "Pretty good." " Wood:" "What?" " Hmm?" "And..." "I wasn't as much concerned with the profit." "Really, Mr. Krylon?" "No." "Well, I mean, let's see." "I paid $2,350 for the car, and then I spent about... $400 or $500 in crap." "You know, all told, at the end of the day, I got..." "No money for it." "Man:" "I'll give you 20 bucks." " You'll give me how much?" " 20 bucks." "You know, that's weird, sir, because we're gonna sell this car today." "We got an offer... $20." "Look in your wallet right now." "I got cash." "Who's got cash?" "$40?" "$50." "$80. $80 on the front." "Foust:" "Who's got $100?" " I got $100!" "I got $100 right here." " We got $100 over here." "This is like Barrett-jackass." "We've got $100 over there." "But now, I'll wheel and deal." "If you've got cash and a nice watch... $120." "$200." "I got $200." "So, right now, we've got a high offer of $200." "Oh, wait, hold on." "We do have an offer here." "I'll trade her." "You would trade..." "[ Crowd groaning ]" "Wow!" "He's gonna need a car if you say that, 'cause she is not gonna give him a ride home." "[ Laughter ]" "This man has drawn my attention to something very, very beautiful." "Ma'am, can you scoot over just a little bit?" "Sir, is that a members only jacket?" "[ Laughter ]" "Can I..." "Can I try that on?" "[ Applause ]" "I'm just gonna see how it fits." "Would you be willing to trade this fine members only jacket for a 1992 Lexus ls-400?" "Yes, I would." "[ Exhales sharply ]" "I've got an offer of $200 or this beautiful members only jacket." "What should I do?" "[ Indistinct shouting ]" "I'm gonna need $1 along with this jacket to make it an official sale." " Do you have $1?" " Yes, I do." "I need that dollar." "Ladies and gentlemen, this man just got himself a Lexus." "[ Cheers and applause ]" "That's all we've got time for tonight." "Thank you for watching!" "Goodbye!" "Go get in there, man."