"Vork and Zaboo rooming together?" "It's perfect!" "I don't know why I didn't think about it before!" "Posttraumatic stress probably." "Vork was a little reluctant at first, but he finally came around after he got a screenshot of Zaboo's game bank and two reference letters," "from Bladezz and Clara." "What a weird credit-approval process." "Anyway, it's perfect." "Uh, they both have the same interests well, interest, and getting Zaboo out of my apartment priceless!" "I'm alone!" "I'm gonna go run around the house naked!" "17 seconds." "Personal best." "No wonder I had to GPS this area." "No worries." "I played quite a bit of console in my day, so I know how to navigate urban landscapes." "Oh, Black Power!" "And Brown Power!" "Both powers!" "Oh, okay." "Well, this is interesting." "Uh, okay, okay." "Calm down." "It's fine." " I need to clear it off for you." " Okay." "Don't want you to hurt yourself." "Greetings, Guildies!" "Before you enter, I do need you to sign these." "Sweet!" " What is this stuff?" " Just a formality." "Litigation releases, non-disclosure agreements... standard procedure." "To enter a house?" "I don't think that's standard." "I require it of everyone." "Even dates." "Hypothetically speaking." "See?" "A man sets his parameters, and then he sticks to them." "Lesson number one." "All right." "I'm blossoming already!" "Cool!" "Okay." "Let's get inside." "Now!" "I don't usually have visitors." "The last one took Grandpa away in a hearse." "I'm sorry." "So, this is where we can smoke pipes and drink cognac." "Like men!" "Grandpa passed away in that chair." "I can see why, man!" "It's hella comfy!" "Follow me." "Is something wrong?" "This is my bedroom." "If you enter it, I will immediately call the police and have you charged with trespassing and aggravated assault." " Bathroom." " Parameter'd." "This would be your bedroom." "Would?" "Per architectural design, but the practical application is not..." "actionable at this moment." "I'm sure it's fine!" "What the hell, Vork?" "It's amazing what functional items people throw away each day." "Rent is due the 15th of every month, 300 gold pieces transferred to my character in-game." "Also, I'll need 400 pieces of ore for a deposit. 200 non-refundable." "Why is there ice in your refrigerator?" "I don't have electricity." "I find it more cost-effective to purchase ice through government-issued food stamps." "You don't have electricity?" "!" "Once I became a non-paid professional Guildmaster," "I had to cut the fat from life." "Vork!" "Electricity isn't fat!" "It's fine." "I'm fine with roughing it." "I'm good with the gold." "Just, where do I crash?" "I hope you're not allergic to birds." "I made the usual alley rounds this morning and furnished it." "That's from an alley?" "Ah, pigeons." "Cool." "Not pigeons... squab!" " Drumette?" " Yes, sir!" "Oh, my God!" "No worries." "The majority have been tested for bird flu." "See, so, here's my only concern..." "I mean, you have no electricity, so you log on how?" "This shed technically belongs to the house behind us, but every year I've moved my fence back three inches, and now it's completely on my property." "How do they not notice?" "Fortunately, the gentleman has Alzheimer's." "And an excellent open wifi connection." "Our time is over." "This social exchange has been mutually beneficial." " Zaboo, you owe me 300 gold pieces." " Yes!" "Can do!" "Um..." "So, let's say that you're a puppy, and I'm finding you a new home." " I don't think I would leave you here." " You seem concerned." "Are you concerned about me?" "Did it work already?" " Should I move back in?" " No!" "No, that's not what I'm saying!" "Codex!" "Stop malingering!" "We have a 2:00 p.m. Raid!" "Feed and water him twice daily!" "Oh, hey, babycakes." "Don't worry." "You're still my primary quest line." "All right!" "Let's do this!"