" Is that too cold?" " No, it's fine." "Tell me if I press too hard." " Is that..." " Yes." " Is that a head?" " Mmm-hmm." "Come on, sweetie." "Turn around." "Stubborn like its mother." " How's the heartbeat?" " It's 160." " Is that OK?" " Anything between 150 and 170 is fine." "Can we see the face?" "We could if the baby would be a little more cooperative." "Come on, baby." "Come on, baby." "There." " Are the new owners here?" " We were given keys." "Thank God, there's someone at last." "About downstairs?" "No, not about downstairs." "What do you think?" "Hmm?" ""This is Tessa Muir." "'Tm afraid I'm not available to speak to you at the moment." "Do leave a message."" "Hi, Mum." "Erm, it's me." "We had the scan yesterday and everything's fine." "So no need to worry." "Erm..." "OK." "I'll..." "I'll speak to you soon." "Bye." " The spring rolls are delicious." " Are they good?" "We have new neighbours, by the way." "Oh, my God, in the dead man's flat?" " The dead man had a name, Abi." " ABl:" "Sorry." "He was lovely." "We used to water his plants for him." "Have you still got his keys?" " Have you met the new ones?" " Haven't arrived yet." "Maybe they're a couple." "They're moving in from the countryside." "He's English." "And she's, I don't know, something else." "What do you mean, "She's something else"?" "She's foreign." "The man who did the garden thought she sounded Swedish." "Have they cleared the jungle?" "Yeah." "It's great." "I mean, it's a..." "It's a bit..." " A bit what?" " She's being all VA about it." "It's not that it's ugly, it's just really determined to be a garden." " Oh, you snob!" " I'm just saying." " I'm giving up next week." " You don't need to give up." "Well, I am." "I'm not like Abi." "I don't enjoy ordering you around." " I know." " Maybe you'd rather I did." "Maybe you need a little instruction." "Why do you think I left her?" "She does slightly treat me like a patient." "Oh, yes." "Oh, yes!" "Fuck me!" "Yes." "Well, it should have arrived." "Yes." "Yellow." "Yes, please do." "Hi!" "Hi." "I saw you in the garden." "I'm..." "I'm from upstairs." " Oh, my God!" " I know." " How many weeks?" " Eighteen." "Twenty one." " You must have just arrived." " Yeah." "Erm, last night." " I'm Theresa." " Kate." "Would you like a herbal tea?" "Erm, I was just going out." "Oh, me too." "Swimming." "You want to come?" "It's a private club, but I can take a guest." "I really should do some chores." "Please come." "I'm so happy you came." "Swimming's so bloody boring on one's own." " Don't you like it?" " Not really, to be honest." "But it's very good for pregnancy." "We read it in a magazine." "Is yours kicking?" "I don't think so." "I can always feel him after swimming." "Him?" "He's going to be called Peter." "After Jon's father." "But you mustn't say I said." "I'm not supposed to tell anyone." "What are you looking at?" "I'm sorry." "I'm always watching people." "I suppose it's my job." "You're happier on the outside looking in." "Probably." "Do you work?" "Me?" "I never want to work again." "Oh, shit!" "I have to go." "I'm meeting Jon for lunch." "Sure." " Thanks for knocking." " I didn't." "No." "That's right." "You didn't, did you?" "Let's do this again, huh?" "We found this killer image for the cover." "What do you think?" "I'm sorry, hold on." "Hey, is everything OK?" " Yeah, it's fine." " OK." "I just wanted to call you." "Good." "Good." "Erm, sorry." "Just hold on one second." "Is she definitely Ugandan?" " Yeah, I think so." " Well, she either is or she isn't, Phil." "Er, listen, I don't have that much to do here today." "So..." " I thought, get a lazy lunch with you." " Find out." "Maybe..." "Find a hotel." "Erm..." "It's not that easy." "OK." "Sony." " It's fine." "It was just an idea." "Erm..." "See you at home?" "Yeah, OK." "I love you." "Love you too." "Hi..." "Yes, I'm here." "I miss you too, honey." "So much." "I'm in the baby section." "I got this red sweater for him." "It's so beautiful." "You have to see it." "No, I'm ready." "I'm always ready for you, baby." "We're out of saffron." " Are you sure you've looked properly?" " Er, yeah, I'm sure." " Shall I go get some?" " Er... doesn't matter." "We need another candle." " Just?" "The bulb's gone in the hall." " OK." "I can't come now." "Please change it." "I don't feel safe on the ladder." " I can't now." " OK." "I'll do it." " No, just..." "Oh!" "Leave it!" " It's dark in here!" "Well, we're not eating in the hall, are we?" " What's wrong?" " Nothing." "Don't lie to me." " I don't know why you invited them." " She said they don't know anyone." " Well, maybe that's how they want it." " Maybe it's how you want it." "What's that supposed to mean?" "They're our neighbours." "And she's nice." "She's..." " Kooky." " What do you mean "kooky"?" "I don't know, it's like she's got this little secret all the time." "Have you got a crush on her?" "I'll go." " Hi." " Hi." "Jon's just setting the alarm." " These are for you." " Thank you." "They're beautiful." "You have such lovely soft skin." "What do you use?" "Something I can't afford." "Come in." "Sorry for the penumbra." "The bulb just went." "It was so kind of you to invite us." " No need for that." " Oh, we always do." "You must be Kate." "Come through." "Justin's cooking." " This is delicious." " Thank you." "Jon cooks Chinese once a month." "Mandarin." "It's fantastic." "You know Chinese cooking?" "I lived there for ten years." "Worked for Swires." "It's so nice you invited us." "Jon says in London you never know your own neighbours." " Wine, Theresa?" " No, thank you." "I don't drink any more." "Well, they say you can have one glass with meals." "When we were in Germany, it was very different." "There's such a sense of community in every street." "Kate said you'd been living in Frankfurt?" " Mmm." " We met there." "My mother was this kind of Finnish hippy, I guess you'd say." "She met this English guy in London, and they had this crazy passionate affair and she had me." "And then he disappeared with some American woman." "Mum and I travelled everywhere together." "She called me her backpack!" "We ended up in Germany when I was 16 and then six years later I met Jon." " So what were you doing in Frankfurt?" " Working for a bank." "I served him in a restaurant." "He asked me to marry him on our third date." "It's great what you've done." "Do you mind if I smoke?" "It's your house." "Jon's handsome." "Very." "He's a bit older than you?" "Mmm." "He was previously married to a Chinese woman in Shanghai." "Huh..." "That explains the shoes." "She was very, very beautiful, but she couldn't have children, so that was no good." "You have such a kind face." " Maybe it's pregnancy." " Mmm." " It softens you." " It really does." "And it makes you so horny." "Until I was pregnant, I didn't know why I was alive." " So how did you two get together?" " We were at university." "These raspberries are so good." "Kate was two years below me." "She was going out with all these rather more glamorous men." "So I lay in wait." " I made some bad choices." " Tell me about it!" " How long have you been together?" " Just over ten years." " Why haven't you got children already?" " Jon." "Oh, come on!" "Why does everything in England sound so bloody rude, eh?" "Ordinary question anywhere else in the world, here it's some kind of social transgression." "That's fine." "It's a legitimate question." " So?" " Well, we both have our careers." "The truth is we weren't sure we wanted a child." "What do you mean?" "Just that." "We weren't sure." "You mean you weren't sure." "No, it was me." "I didn't think I wanted to be a mother." "I've always known I wanted a child." "Well, I..." "I didn't feel that way for a very long time." "So what changed?" "I don't know." "One day I just..." "Felt able to love." "And you became pregnant." "Just like that." "Yeah." "Why?" "How long have you been trying?" "Seven years." " It's wonderful that it's happened." " It's a miracle." " Theresa's a lot younger than me." " That's one of the reasons he chose me." "Do you have your scan photo?" "Just the 12-week one." "The 20-week one's not till next week." "Mmm, yeah." " Do you know the gender?" " No." " We do." " Yes, but we're not telling." "Just, would you make some coffee?" "Sure." "Maybe you should go to bed." "You looktired." "It is tiring, isn't it?" "It's OK." "Darling, I think Theresa's tired." "I don't think she'll want coffee." "Well, if you're tired, we should go." " But it's been such fun!" " Yes, it has." "But we're leaving, I'll get your cardigan." " Er, I'll get a new bulb." " No, really, that's fine." " I need to change it anyways." " Let me help you." " I don't know what's wrong with me." " Kate, where did you put the bulbs?" " Are you sure you're OK?" " I'm fine!" "Really!" " Really?" "Oh, Jesus!" "Baby!" "Baby, stay with me!" " Oh, God." " I'll call an ambulance!" " You're going to be fine." " Don't move!" "Don't tell me what to do!" "Come on, baby!" "We'll get you downstairs!" "Jon, Jon, please, let me at least call a doctor." "Just to check the baby." "Check he's OK." "Come on." "Let's go." "Let me get you downstairs." "You shouldn't move her!" "And you shouldn't invite people to your house when it's in no fit state!" "Come on, let's get you downstairs." " Can you get the key out of my pocket?" " I'm bleeding." "You're going to be OK." "Just get the key." " I'm bleeding, I'm bleeding." " No, you're going to be fine." "If I get the key out of my pocket..." " Let me..." " Stay the fuck away from my wife!" "Come on, baby, you're going to be fine." "All right." "OK." "It's fine." "Stay..." "Stay here." "It's OK." "It's OK." "She'll be OK." "She was drinking all night." "When he wasn't looking." "Call me if you hear anything." "There's no abnormalities that I can see." "I think you have a very healthy baby." "Hi, Mum." "Hello, darling." " So how's work?" " Hmm, pretty good." "We published the campaign brochure." "Got some web presence, so I'm happy." "And the, er, scan being fine is wonderful news." "You look tired, dear." "Why do you have to be so fucking polite to her?" "What do you want me to do, shout at her?" "I'm not doing it again." "If she doesn't care, that's her problem." "Of course she cares." "She's just finding it hard to express, that's all." "Hello?" "Please take your shoes off." "What happened?" "What do you think happened?" "I mean, did you..." " Did you have to..." " Yeah." "She had to give birth." "I'm so sorry." "Look at him." "That's Peter." "What's wrong?" " Nothing." " Then look at him, that's my son!" "They tried to collect some ashes after the cremation, but there weren't enough." "I'm sorry." "I didn't change the lightbulb." "It may have made a difference." "No, it would have made a difference." "Our son would still be alive." " You don't know that." " Excuse me?" "There may have been other contributing factors." "What the fuck are you talking about?" "I'm sorry, but what happened was a terrible accident." "You see, the word "accident" implies nothing could've been done, but that's not true, is it?" "The cat came out of nowhere and Theresa tripped on your shoes." " She tripped in the dark!" " All I'm saying is..." "No, a series of circumstances led to something truly awful." "It wasn't an accident." "A pregnant woman drinks a little wine and trips on some shoes left in a dark hallway." " Sorry, what did you say?" " Theresa had a glass or two of wine." " That's not her fault." " No, she didn't." "Maybe we made her nervous." "I don't know, maybe you made her nervous." "She wanted to leave, you'd left your shoes, which we did not ask you to take off, in a hallway which we had neglected to light, because we were cooking you supper." " The cat came out." " She did not drink!" " Did you drink?" " Of course not." " Theresa, that's not true." " Are you accusing me of lying?" "Listen, let's talk about this another time." "You're both grief-stricken." " Don't tell us how we feel!" " Let's go." "We'll talk about this later." "You cunt!" "You're accusing me to cover your own mistake!" "Take that back!" "Tell her to take it back!" "You were drinking all night!" "How dare you!" "You moved her, right..." "You moved her when we told you not to!" "Okay, this isn't the time." "Let's go." "You don't deserve that thing inside you." "Come to bed." "Please." "I can't sleep." "Well, just try." "You're such a fucking lawyer." "Caroline?" "Sorry, can I have a word?" "When we were in their flat..." "When I saw her..." "Hey, we don't have to talk about that." "I want to." "I just felt so ungrateful..." "That I'd ever been uncertain." "Tell me you want it." "What?" "I need to know that you want our child." "I want it." "More than anything." "Shit!" "I'll get a cloth." "Dear Justin and Kate." "We are going back to Germany." "We realise that our presence here is a cause of tension and regret." "We need time to grieve our loss, and you need freedom to enjoy the birth of your child." "What has happened has happened." "What matters now is that you have your child, and that Jon and I return only once we feel liberated from this awful emptiness that currently inhabits us." "We will not come back unless we can honestly say congratulations to you both and bless your new child with all the benediction it deserves." "Yours faithfully, Theresa Baker." "He's asleep." "What is it?" "Why didn't my mum come to the hospital?" "She finds it difficult." "You know that." "Your parents came." "They brought flowers." "My parents always bring flowers." "She never comes to the flat." "I always visit her." "I've had a fucking baby." "He's ours." "Nothing else matters." "I think we should knock." "No." "No way." "If they're coming back, I want an apology first." " Just..." " I'm sorry." "There's no excuse for what she said." " Are you ready?" " Sure." "And you want the father to be named on the form?" "Yes." "He's taking the blame too." " That's it?" " That's it." "Sorry." " He's very good." " He's asleep." "Give me your coat." "Sit down." "Er, yes, I did say on the phone that I have to be at Jill's by 4:00." " Yes, Mum, you said." " So shall I make tea?" " Justin's making it." " I got you a present." "To say well done." " That's lovely." " Stop protecting her." "He called you, didn't he?" "That's why you're here." "You don't have to do this, Mum." "It's fine." "I'm very happy." "Just..." "Leave us alone." "Let's leave it." "Maybe it's the girl downstairs." "She let me in after I buzzed." "Darling, she knows we're here." " Hi." " Hi." "We're back." "We saw." "Theresa's just setting the alarms." "Is this a bad time?" "The problem was we didn't know whether he was a she or she was a he, so you'll have to pick." "It's the blue one, darling." " So you haven't met Billy?" " Not until now, no." ""Billy"?" "That's a lovely name." "Is it William?" "No, it's just "Billy"." "You mentioned that you loved the sea." "I do." "Thank you." "It's beautiful." " Well, put it on him." " He's asleep." "Oh no, don't wake him." "We're going to have a family ourselves." "Oh, that's wonderful." "They'll be able to play together." "That's why we did the garden." "Billy can use it whenever he wants." " I mean, whenever Kate wants." " The park's not too far away." "It's such a lovely garden." " Are you a keen gardener?" " I suppose I am, yes." "Well, I wonder if you could help me..." "Was this a bad time?" "No." "Course not." "We just want you to know we are so sorry for what we said." " Me too." " It was horrible, but it's done now." "I really like you, Kate." "I just want us to be able to live together." "Can we try?" "Thank you." "You're both wonderful." "Can I hold him?" "Mum, do you want to?" " No!" " Shh!" "Not again!" "He might not wake this time." "Go to sleep." "There's no point both of us staying up." "Shit!" "Here you are." "Bye." "Good luck." " Hi." " Hi." "I was just seeing if you were OK." " Could you hear him in the night?" " Just a bit." "I'm sorry." "It was that bloody alarm." "I made you some lemonade." "Have to keep hydrated." " You shouldn't have." " I wanted to." "Thank you." "Well, I should go." "No, wait." "Do you want to come in?" "You look amazing." "It was important." "You're very brave." "Meeting Jon for lunch?" " How did you know?" " Just a hunch." " Why don't you come with us?" " I shouldn't." "We'll buy you lunch." "What job do you do?" "What you mean is how do I scam it that I always get my lunch off?" "I made a lot of money in Germany." "I have a portfolio of investments that I keep track of, and a company that really doesn't need me to be there for more than 20% of the time." "You must be a very good businessman." "I know what I want." "And I focus on getting it." "That's why Jon and I get on." "We're the same animal." "If all goes well, in five years or so, I can retire and take care of the children." " Ls there somewhere I can breast-feed?" " You can do it here." "Everyone does in Germany." "Well, unless, erm..." "No, it's fine." "Well, I'll..." "I'll get you some water." "Are you sure you're OK with this?" "Really." "It helps." "Sometimes you seem very lonely." "Do I?" "I don't know, we have friends, but..." "I think Justin and I, we're different in a way." "And now he's at work the whole time." "Why don't I take Billy just for a couple of hours every now and then?" "Give you a break." " I couldn't ask." " I'd love to." " What are you two smiling about?" " Nothing." "They put lemon in this one." "I hope it's all right." "Shh, shh, shh." "Maybe you should cut out dairy." " He was fine before." " Well, he's not now!" "Shh, shh, shh." "Where's the spare key?" "It's not on the hook." "Why do you need it now?" "It's the middle of the night." "I don't need it now!" "I just want to know where it is." "Go to bed." "You've got work in the morning." " Are you sure you're going to be OK?" " Of course." "It'll only be a few hours." "I really wanted to take him, but the weather's so bad." "We'll be fine, won't we?" " You've got my number?" " I've got your number." "Now go!" "Was he OK?" "He slept like a baby and so did I." "Thank you so much." "How was it?" "It was good." "I don't know, I was just standing there and..." "I just wanted him to meet Billy so much." " Maybe it's not warm enough." " I warmed it on the stove." " Let's call someone." " Oh, calm down." "Something's wrong with him, I'm taking him in." "We'll see what the tests say, but I suspect it's an allergy of some kind." " I'm going to recommend you stop breast-feeding." " No." "Well, if you want to carry on, you'll have to cut out all sorts of foods." "Fine." "Which foods?" "Which foods?" "There's nowhere to park." "Don't touch the light!" "Jesus!" " Don't bring him in here!" " I turned it off, I swear I did." "Shh, shh." "Oh, no!" " Hi." " Hi." "It's Friday, remember?" " We said I would look after him." " Did we?" "I'm sorry, I forgot." "Erm..." "I cancelled two things specially." "It's fine." "I..." "I could actually really do with some sleep." "You're not going out?" "No." "OK." "Sure." "I'll take him downstairs." "You can stay here if you want." "No, I'll take him downstairs." "Give you some peace." "Hi." "Justin Pollard." "Yeah." "Erm... sure." "What time?" "I was going to take a bath, but there's no time." "You look great." "Well, we're going out for the night, aren't we?" " Thanks for inviting us." " It was Jon's idea." "He's on his way back now." " Can I put that down for you?" " Sure." "Thanks." "Mmm, he's sleeping." " Where's your bathroom?" " Erm, just down on the left." "Sorry..." "I meant right, not left." " Wine?" " Sure." "Thanks." " I like you smart." " Thanks." " Just seeing how far away Jon is." " Sure." "Where did you go when you went away?" "Jon has a lake house." "We did a ritual." "We rowed out into the lake and said goodbye to him." "It's something the Hindus do." "For them, water is a transporter to other realms." "Do you believe that?" "Why not?" "How much do any of us know?" "Only when you lose someone utterly dear to you, utterly and totally dear, can you understand just how little we know" "about death." "About the soul." "Who we are." "Justin!" "What is it?" " What happened?" " There was someone on the baby monitor." "What?" "When you were in the garden, I heard a breathing." " Hello?" " It was coming from our room." " It was the water." " Someone was here!" "Oh, my God." "What happened?" "Baby, erm, why don't we go downstairs?" "We can have supper another time." "Sure." "Justin, I swear." "I turned it off, I turned the water off." " Hi." " Hi." "Would you mind watching Billy for half an hour?" "I just need to get out." "Get some air." "Sure." " Thank you so much." " Are you OK?" "Yeah." "I'm just tired." "Was he OK?" "He was a little hungry." "I gave him the bottle." "Good." "I'm going swimming." "Want to bring Billy?" " I've got to clear up upstairs." " OK." " Are you meeting Jon for lunch?" " Every day!" "It doesn't matter how long you've gone out for, you always need to set it." "Well, this is London." "It's not some bloody village, is it?" "Thought I heard something." "Must've been upstairs." "It's me." "Come back." "Now." " I can't come now." " Come back now!" " Hi." " Hi." " Can we come in?" " Sure." "I'm sorry." "Kate!" "Look." "They've deleted them." "Give me the key." "Give me the key!" "They changed it." " What are you talking about?" " You knew I was here and you changed it." " When were you here?" " I really didn't want you to see this room." "I saw you in the garden!" "You took a picture of him!" "Yes, I did." "So what?" "Why would you do that?" "Do you have any idea what we're going through?" "Kate, come upstairs." "Come upstairs now." "Go to work." "I said I'm working from home this morning." " You don't need to check on me." " I'm not checking on you." "I saw what I saw." "Kate..." "Listen to me." "Neither of us are fully ourselves at the moment." "What does that mean?" "It means that what you think you saw, you didn't see." "Did I see you flirting with her?" "Did I see that?" "You're a liar." "My folks are coming down, they're having a weekend in London, so they'll probably pop in." " You called them." " No, I didn't." "You called them, and you asked them to come look after me like I'm some fucking mental patient." "With your family history, what do you expect me to do?" "Oh, fuck." "Where are you going?" "Oh, baby." "Hi, baby." "I love you, baby." "Mummy loves you." "And Mummy's going to look after you, so nothing will go wrong." "Nothing." "What do you need?" "Tell me." " I need to leave that house." " OK." " We need to leave now." " We'll go now." "I'll get the car." "We'll call some estate agents." "We'll find somewhere to rent." "Hey." "This might be more like it." "Yes." "This is the one." "You like it?" "Why can't we move today?" "He said it takes a couple of days for credit checks." "Then let's go to a hotel." "It'll be fun." "It's expensive enough as it is." "It's two days and we don't have to see them." "I'll stay with you, OK?" "Don't tell them where we're going." "Don't tell them anything." "Promise." "Promise!" "Promise." "Why..." "Why is it so last minute?" "OK, so isn't there someone else that can do it?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah, OK." "I'll see what I can do." "Someone from the Michel Khoury Foundation." "He's in town, he wants to meet me about a donation." " You said you would stay." " He's talking about £500,000, Kate." "Do you have any idea how far that'll go?" "Look, it'll take two hours." "Phone some movers, arrange them for tomorrow, OK?" "One letter of confirmation." "Please don't go." "Nothing is going to happen." "Justin..." "Nothing." "Go." "Tomorrow, erm, 10:00." "Forty boxes." "How much would that be?" "Erm..." "Yeah, that'd be fine." "Just, just remember when you get here, it's the top buzzer." "Yeah, all right." "That's fine." "See you tomorrow." " T hank you." " 0 K. Bye." " Did you try the Swiss office?" " Yeah." "They're trying to work out who it could have been." "He didn't leave a number?" "Fuck this!" "OK, I'm going home." "Call me if you hear anything, OK?" "Sure." "Come on." "Come on, come on, come on." "No!" "Oh, no!" "Kate..." "She's..." "Where's Billy?" "Did she give you Billy?" " No." "What's happened?" " Where's Jon?" " He's away on business." " Where is he?" "What's she done..." " Justin, calm down." " What's she done with him?" "No!" "No, no!" " It's OK..." " He's not there!" "He's not there!" "He's not here!" "He's not here!" "No!" "Where is he?" "He's not here!" "No!" " When does your plane leave?" " Oh, not till 4:00." " Jon says that you're moving too." " Yes." "We couldn't stay." "Not after..." "Sure." "Jon left this morning." "He's in Frankfurt, already finding a place." "I can't find the cat." "I mean, if you see it, put it in a home, would you?" "Yeah." "I'll let you get on." "Goodbye." "It's much better this way." "Hello, Peter." "It Take me tonight it And make me part of you" "it Part of the very it Soul and heart of you" "it Here while the lights are low fl Take me and make me know if Your love is mine ll Till the stars no longer shine" "it Take me tonight fl And with one sweet caress" "fl You take me from fl A world of loneliness" "it My lips are yours to thrill it So, darling, say you will" "it Take me tonight ll And I'll give all my tomorrows to you" "it My lips are yours to thrill it So, darling, say you will it Take me tonight ll And I'll give all my tomorrows" "To you..."