"(I Love Lucy theme music plays)" "(theme song ending)" "Hi, Ricky." "Oh, hi, Ethel." "Come in." "Aw... hi, sweetie." "Where's Lucy?" "She went out shopping." "Do you know that this little character" "Do you know that this little character has already outgrown his clothes?" "No kidding?" "Come on." "Oh, isn't he a little doll?" "Hi." "Hey, Ricky, he keeps looking at me with one eye." "Don't you wish he'd just stay like this?" "Yeah." "Anything special on your mind?" "Yeah, I came up to tell Lucy that the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League is meeting on Friday this week." "The Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League" "is meeting on Friday." " Yeah." "I thought you always met on Thursday." "Oh, no, we never met on Thursday." "We usually meet on Tuesday." "Well, look, this is probably a very stupid question but why couldn't the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League meet on Wednesday?" "Oh, we tried it, but nobody could make it." "Wednesday afternoon isn't a good day for club meetings." "That figures." "Why don't you forget about the meetings altogether?" "Oh, now, Ricky, don't pick on our club." "It's really a very worthwhile organization." "(fusses and burps)" "Nobody asked your opinion." "He's going to grow up to be just like you." "(chuckling)" "Oh, I guess the club is all right, Ethel, but, you know, if Lucy wouldn't get so involved in it." "Every time she gets into it, I get into it, too." "Well, there's nothing to get into this time." "We're just going to nominate officers." "Oh, no." "(cooing)" "You said it, kid." "What do you mean, you said it?" "Don't you remember what happened on the last nominations?" "Oh, that." "Yes, that." "He)', LUCY, What's going on?" "Oh, my women's club is meeting here today." "Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi." "Why do they have to meet here all the time?" "Oh, honey, they haven't met here for three months." "We're taking turns until we can afford a clubhouse." "Honey, you don't need a clubhouse." "Why don't you meet on the back fence like other cats do?" "Never mind now." "This is a very important meeting, especially for me." "We're nominating candidates for the club election." "I'll probably be nominated for every office." "I've acceptance speeches written for all of them." "Oh, you feel pretty sure of yourself, huh?" "Well, honey, I know how the girls feel about me, that's all." "You think you're going to be elected for some office, huh?" "Yeah, I'll be elected for something, surely." "Well, maybe I'll get a break and they'll elect you nothing." "Now, don't start on me about my women's club." "Okay, okay, I'll go spend the afternoon with Fred." "That's a good idea." " Hi, Ricky." " Hi, Ethel." "Hi, Ethel." "Oh, Lucy, that's a beautiful sweater." "Is it new?" "Yeah, you like it?" "It's gorgeous." "Ooh, cashmere?" "Yeah, isn't that yummy?" "Mm-hmm." "And look." "A bag to match." " Oh!" " Isn't that the end?" "Of course, I won't be able to afford another thing for three months, but who cares?" "Oh, dear, this terrible pitcher and these cheap glasses." "Say, listen, Ethel, you are going to vote to admit Ruth Knickerbocker into the club, aren't you?" "I don't know." "Well, she'd be a wonderful addition to the club." "You think so?" "She seems sort of a quiet and mousey type to me." "Yeah, well, under that mousey exterior beats a cut glass punch bowl and 20 cups." "Oh..." "That's the kind of a woman we need in our club." "That's the way I feel about it." "(doorbell buzzing)" "Oh, there they are, the thundering herd." "Lucy!" "Lillian!" "Hi!" "Hi, how are you?" "Ethel, how are you?" "Lucy, that sweater, it's stunning." "Oh, thank you." "Look." "Oh, no, look at that bag to match." "Oh, what an outfit!" "You know, I've been just dying for one." "Well, I got it..." "Don't tell me." "I know how expensive they are, and I just can't afford it." "All right, I won't tell you." "Oh, say, listen, before the others get here, have you heard the dirt about Marion?" "Marion Strong?" " Yes !" " What?" "Oh, let me tell you." "You know how she's always trying to pretend she's somebody?" "Oh, do I." "Well, she finally got her comeuppance." " What happened?" " She did?" "Well, let me tell you." "I ran into her on the street the other day, and she had on the most..." " Marion!" " Marion!" "Oh, hi." "(all exclaiming)" "Oh, I'm so glad to see you." "(all talking at once)" "Lucy, you have new furniture." "The whole thing is new." "(pounding)" "Lucy, I got you a chair." "We're all ready to start." "Girls?" "Ladies, ladies." "Shh." "Ladies." "The meeting will come to order." "Now, we'll skip the minutes of the last meeting and get right down to business." "Madam President." "Yes, Lillian." "I would like to submit the name of Ruth Knickerbocker for membership in our club." "I think that's a wonderful idea." "Very well." "You all had a chance to meet Ruth at our last meeting, so if there's no more discussion, we'll vote." "All those in favor of asking Ruth Knickerbocker to join our club say aye." "ALL:" "Aye." "Noes?" "No noes." "(all clamoring)" "(gavel pounding)" "Ruth Knickerbocker... (gavel pounding)" "Ruth Knickerbocker is now a member of our club." "And now, the election of officers." "The chair will entertain nominations for the office of Treasurer." "Yes." "The chair recognizes Pauline Lobos." "Well, Madam President, I would like to nominate for Treasurer one of our most conscientious members." "Now this girl really deserves an office in our club." "She's a wonderful person and a fine character and a real leader" "Grace Munson." "(all exclaiming)" "Me?" "(all clamoring)" "Are there any more nominations?" "Oh, Grace, you'll make a wonderful Treasurer." "Of course, I wouldn't be Treasurer if they handed it to me on a silver platter." "You wouldn't?" "Terrible job." "And now nominations are open for the office of Secretary." "The chair recognizes Marion Strong." "I nominate a member who... well, she's just about the most wonderful person." "She's the loyalest person in the club and she's always ready to lend a hand when you ask her to." "She's intelligent, pretty and one of the nicest persons you could ever meet my very dear, dear friend," "Lillian Appleby." "Lillian!" "(all clamoring)" "Are there any more nominations?" "Oh, Lillian, you'll make a wonderful Secretary." "Secretary is really a very thankless job, you know." "Oh, is it?" "Very." "Now, let me hear nominations for the office of Vice President." "Madam President." "Chair recognizes Lillian Appleby." "For the office of Vice President," "I would like to nominate a girl who really deserves the job." "A girl who will fight for our club." "You can tell that from the color of her hair." "My very dearest, dearest friend," "Marion Strong." "(Marion shrieking)" "Are there any more nominations for Vice President?" "Oh, Marion, you'll make a wonderful Vice President." "Vice President's merely a figurehead, you know." "Oh, really?" " They work in name only." " Oh." "And now we come to the most important office of all-- the presidency." "As far as I'm concerned there's only one person who should follow me in the office of President." "She has administrative ability, she's charming, makes a good appearance." "In fact, she'll be a wonderful President, and I'm so sure that you're all going to elect her unanimously that I want to be the first to shake the hand of our next president." "Ethel Mertz!" " Ethel Mertz?" " Yes." "(women exclaiming)" " Oh, I don't..." "Please let us come to order now." "Ladies." "Ladies." "I'm sure there will be no more nominations for President." "So I hereby declare the nominations..." "Uh, Madam President." "Yes, the chair recognizes Mrs. Ricardo." "I think that there should be some more nominations for presidency." "Why, Lucy..." "Oh, it isn't that I don't feel that you'll make a wonderful president, Ethel." "It's just that I feel that the more democratic way is to have more than one nominee." "It doesn't matter who it is, just so there are two." "You understand." "Well... yeah." "Well, do I hear another nomination for President?" "Since there are no more nominations for President," "I hereby declare the nomina..." "Madam President." "Yes, Lucy?" "I'd like time-out for a caucus." "A-A-A what?" "A caucus." "Didn't you watch the conventions on television?" "Oh..." "Well..." "Well, very well, all right..." "caucus." "Come on, Lillian, let's caucus." "You know, television has changed the thinking of the entire world." "She wouldn't have had sense enough to caucus this time last year." "(all clamoring)" "You look it up in the bylaws." "Ethel, you ought to filibuster." "Really, you should filibuster." "Madam President." "Yes, Lillian." "I would like to nominate Lucy Ricardo for President." "Oh!" "Oh, well, I..." "Well, you see, I feel that if there are two, it's the more American way of doing..." "It's democratic, it's, uh..." "Well, how's the campaign coming, Lucy, dear?" "Just fine, Ethel, honey." "Just fine, sweetie." "That's good." "You know, running for the same office might bother some good friends, but it doesn't bother me a bit." "Well, it doesn't bother me either." "I just feel it's all in the family." "Sure, all in the family." "That's the way I feel." "Hey, you should see the cute campaign poster that Lucy made." "Oh, honey, don't bother to show them that." "No, let's see it." "Oh, don't be silly." ""Happy you will be with Lucy, cast your vote and wait till you see."" "Oh!" "Oh, that's darling, honey." "FRED:" "That's pretty good." "They're sort of fun to make, you know." "Ethel wrote some good ones, too." "Uh, Fred..." "LUCY:" "Oh?" "RICKY:" "What were they?" "Well, one of them said, uh..." ""You can go farther with Ethel."" "Oh!" "Oh, that's just darling." "That's like that gasoline ad." "Yeah." "Hey, here's another one." "Oh, never mind, Ricky, never mind." "That's enough, dear." "Oh, this is a beaut." ""Nertz to Mertz"?" "It's a joke, dear." "Oh, a joke." "It's very amusing." "Oh, boy, and you were worried about that one you wrote about her." "Now, Fred..." "Uh, Fred..." "What was it?" ""A vote for the redhead is a vote for a deadhead."" "And then she put underneath..." "Uh, never mind, never mind." "Come on, let's play cards." "Oh, wait a minute." "Just a minute." "Uh, Fred, what was it that was underneath?" "Well, underneath "deadhead" she wrote" ""or should I say dyedhead."" "Well, that's a fine thing to say." "Well, "Nertz to Mertz" isn't exactly a bouquet of roses." "Now, wait a minute, hold it candidates." "Don't lose your tempers." "Nobody's losing her temper." "It's just good to know what I'm running against, that's all." "Well, the same goes for me." "I might have known you'd resort to mudslinging." "And I might have known you would conduct a smear campaign." "Smear campaign?" "Give me that thing." "I'll show you what a real smear campaign is." "This isn't nearly strong enough." "Well, if that's the way you want to play," "I've got some ideas of my own." "Come on, Fred." "Well, that's perfectly all right with me." "You can play anyway that you want, and see if I care." "Okay!" "I'm going to do that poster I decided not to do." "You mean, "With our club's welfare do not tinker." "Lucy Ricardo's a dirty..."" "That's the one." "That's going to be tame next to the ones that I'm going to write!" "I see." "I see." "Uh-huh." "Well, it was nice talking with you, Marion." "Mm-hmm." "No, no, no, I didn't call for anything special." "Uh, by the way, who do you think is going to be our next club president?" "Lucy or Ethel?" "Oh." "Oh." "Oh!" "Oh..." "Well, if that's the way it is, then that's the way it's got to be." "A divorce will be the best thing for her." "Uh-huh." "Well, I'll see you next week at the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts Club." "Who did you say you were going to vote for?" "Oh, good choice, good choice." "Bye." "She's voting for Ethel." "Ethel?" "What was all that "good choice, good choice" for?" "Well, that was to throw her off the scent so she wouldn't know what we were doing." "Fine thing." "Ethel and I are tied." "Half the club's voting for Ethel, half the club's voting for me." "Oh." "Well, we haven't heard from Ruth Knickerbocker yet." "She wasn't home." "Oh, dear, how do you like that?" "She's only been in the club a week and she's going to decide who the next president is." "I think I'm going to have to put a little friendly pressure on Ruth Knickerbocker this week." "Well, Lucy, dear, I really must be going now." "Well, it was certainly nice of you to come over this afternoon, Lillian." "You know, Lucy, I'm a little ashamed at what I've done for you this afternoon." " Oh..." "You know, I really shouldn't have." "Well, I certainly appreciate it." "You know that, Lillian." "I sure do, dear." "Thanks very much." "Well, Lucy, really, I do have to go now." "Yes?" "Oh!" "Bye, Lucy." "Good-bye." "Hi, Rick." "Hi, Fred." "Want to join me?" "No, thanks." "That's the same thing I had for dinner." "Where's Lucy?" "Oh, I don't know." "Ever since this club election started, she's never home." "She's out campaigning." "Yeah, Ethel, too." "She's rushing that new member right off her feet." "You mean Ruth Knickerbocker?" "Yeah." "Hers is the deciding vote, you know?" "Ethel's had her to tea, then to dinner, and a couple of movies." "(chuckling)" "That's funny." "Lucy had her out to lunch twice, and last night she took her to dinner and to the theater." "Mm-hmm." "That kid's being pulled apart like the last girdle at a bargain sale." "Well, I hope she votes for Ethel." "Well, I don't." "Just think how involved my life will be if Ethel is president of that club." "Listen, you just think how involved my life is with Lucy just being Lucy." "Yeah, you got a point there." "Yeah." "Boy, she's not going to be elected president of that club if I can help it." "Well, there's nothing much we can do about it, except pray." "Well, I don't know." "There must be something that we can do." "If there was only some way that I could sway the Knickerbocker vote." "Then I could..." " See you later, Lucy!" " Hey, Fred!" "Good-bye, Fred." "Adios." "Ethel will be home any minute." "Yeah, so long, Fred." " So long." " Good-bye." "Good-bye." "Knickerbocker, Knickerbocker, Knickerbock..." "Knickerbock...?" "Hello, information?" "I'd like to have" "Ruth Knickerbocker's phone number, please." "Knickerbocker." "Listen, if I knew how to spell it" "I wouldn't have to call information." "Knickerbocker, I don't know." "N-I-k-e-r-b-o-k-e-r." "Yeah." "There's nobody by that name?" "Look again, will you?" "Yeah, yeah, that's it." "That's it." "With a "K"?" "Well, give me the number." "Thank you." "With a "K"?" "Wonder why they put a "K" in front..." "Hello, Miss K-nickerbocker?" "This is Ricky Ricardo." "Lucy's husband, you know." "Yeah, well, you know, I have a club, you know, the Tropicana, and I sing and they have the band down there and everything." "So I just thought that maybe you'd like to come down tonight and have some dinner and see the show..." "Oh?" "Oh, you're busy tonight." "Oh, I see." "You have a date with Freddie Mertz?" "Oh, oh, all right." "Well, good-bye." "I didn't know he could run that fast." "(soft big band music playing)" ""Cuban Cabby."" "(samba playing)" "(clicking tongue to music)" "♪ My horse and carriage is for hire, senora J"" "♪ For just as long as you desire, senorita ♪" "♪ You want to ride ♪" "♪ Forget the manana ♪" "♪ And come to Havana with me ♪" "♪ I'm the Cuban cabby ♪" "♪ I'm the Cuban cabby ♪" "♪ The taxi drivers drive you frantic, you know ♪" "♪ Oh, but my rig is more romantic, and so ♪" "♪ You want to ride ♪" "♪ A night full of splendor ♪" "♪ And you can depend upon me ♪" "♪ I'm the Cuban cabby ♪" "♪ And I need dinero ♪" "Money, that is." "Broke, huh?" "Hey, . ." "♪ The moon is peeping ♪" "♪ The shadow's creeping ♪" "♪ It's time for riding through the park ♪" "♪ A lovely night for lovers ♪" "♪ The same as you two are ♪" "♪ If you like music ♪" "♪ I'll give you music ♪" "♪ As we go riding in the dark ♪" "♪ I'll sing a Spanish love song ♪" "♪ To the strains of my guitar ♪" "♪ Ese lunar que tienes, cielito lindo a'" "♪ Junto a la boca a'" "♪ No se lo des a nadie, cielito lindo I" "♪ Que ami me toca a' m A y-ay-ay-ay I" "♪ Canta y no llores a'" "♪ Porque cantando se alegran 4'" "♪ Cielito lindo, los corazones a' m A y-ay-ay-ay I" "♪ Canta y no llores a'" "♪ Porque cantando se alegran 4'" "♪ Cielito lindo, los corazones. a'" "Ole!" "(clicks tongue to music)" "♪ My horse and carriage has been hired, senora ♪" "♪ For just as long as you desire, senorita ♪" "♪ We're gonna ride ♪" "♪ We're gonna ride ♪" "♪ We're gonna ride. ♪" "(applause)" "Miss Knickerbocker, I've been wanting to..." "Uh, just a minute, Ricky." "Fred, please, we're talking." "Please, don't bother us." "Hi, fellas." " We came down to the club to celebrate." "Celebrate?" "Yeah, the club elections were tonight." "Yeah, and we both won-- it was a tie." "We are co-presidents." "RICKY:" "What, what, what?" "How can it be a tie?" "How about Ruth Knickerbocker's vote?" "Oh, she wasn't there." "She's home sick in bed from all the rich food that Ethel and I fed her all week." "What do you mean she's home sick in bed?" "She's sitting right here." "Oh, hello, Mrs. Knickerbocker." "Oh, that isn't Ruth Knickerbocker." "She isn't?" "No." "You're not?" "No." "That's Ruth's mother-in-law." "Why didn't you tell us?" "I didn't want to spoil the fun." "At my age, you don't get too many chances." "(I Love Lucy theme music plays)" "ANNOUNCER"." "The part of the club president was played by Lurene Tuttle," "Caroline by Doris Singleton," "Susan by Peggy Rea," "Betty by Margie Liszt, and Ruth Knickerbocker by Ida Moore." "I Love Lucy is a Desilu Production."