"Vicar" "Lousy afternoon isn't it" "Right" "You just follow the coffin" "Yeah ok..." "Can you just come into line please" "That's it" "Alright?" "Yeah great" " Cig?" " Yeah" "Hi" "Are you coming?" "Where to?" "Home" "Yeah just a minute I've got to finish this shelf first" "What you doing tonight?" "Going out" "Who with?" "Sandra" "Do you want to come out with us then?" "No" "What time?" "Eight o'clock" " See ya" " See ya" "Busy day today" "How much did you sell?" "About six dozen little chocolate sponge-cakes" "Funny for the middle of the week" "We only did one today" "Do you want any afters?" "What is it?" "Chocolate sponge-cakes" "Oh hiya come in" "HIYA" "Hang on while I get me bag" "Are you right?" "What's up?" "Nothing" "What's up with you?" "Nothing" "What did you say that for?" "I don't know" "You're daft you" "Eh?" "You say right daft things sometimes" "Such as?" "Like, "what's up?"" "You got a dead nice laugh you" "What you laughing at?" "Nothing" "You don't know how lucky you are Trev'" "You're on a good number here" "You've got security" "There's no clocking in" "Nobody standing over you and you get paid for it aswell" "and when you retire you're on a good pension" "and finally when you pass away" "You get a free funeral on the firm" "There's no short time in this business" "Ooh eh he's there" "I'm going to comb my hair" "Eh?" "You don't remember me do you?" "No" "Don't you?" "I worked in that plumbing office with you" "It was dead boring" "What's up?" "Nothing" "What about you are you dating?" "Not at the moment" "Who are you with?" "I was supposed to be with me friend but she hasn't turned up" "Can I have a port and lemon please" "Are you with your fiancee" "No it's just me boyfriend" "Hey he's got a mate with him that's on his own" "Has he?" "Yeah" "What's he like?" " He's dead nice" " Is he?" "He works in the undertakers" " Does he?" " Yeah" "That's him over there" "Which one?" "Him with the brown jacket on" "Is that your boyfriend?" "Yeah" " Mmm dead nice looking isn't he?" " Yeah he is" "This is Linda" "That's Ronnie and that's Trevor" "Hiya" "Hiya" "She used to work with me" "What do you do Ronnie?" "Work in a supermarket" "Do you?" "Hey I used to work in a supermarket" "Dead boring isn't it?" "It's alright" "What do you do Trevor?" "Tell her what you do Trevor" "Go on" "You work in the undertakers don't you" "Yeah" " Do you?" " Yeah" " Do you like it?" " Yeah" " Do you think it's dead nice?" " Yeah" "Great" "Cinzano and lemonade please" "She came working as a temp at our place" "When the supervisor was off poorly with piles" "She only stayed a day" "Do you like her?" "She's alright" "Do you like her Trevor?" "Don't know" "Eh" "You know when you was saying you're an undertaker" "Well that's not hard work is it, really?" "No really I'm interested What sort of work do you do?" "I mean what do you do every morning?" "Make coffee" "Is that all?" "That's boring that" "It's alright and what else do you do?" "Eh?" "Clean the hearse" "The what?" "The hearse" "Hearse?" "What's an hearse?" "What's an hearse?" "It's a big black car" " Is it?" " Yeah" " and that's what you clean is it?" " Isn't she thick" "That's all you do then is it?" "We go and collect people aswell" " and bury them" " Bury them?" "and cremations" "Do you?" "Yeah" "What do you do when you collect them?" "Isn't it dead morbid, dead frightening?" "What you laughing at?" "No" "Don't you find it dead frightnening all dead people?" "What do you do with them when you see them dead, what do you do with them?" "Take them away and we clean them up and we dress them" " What?" " and put them in their coffin" "Clean them?" "What d'you mean you clean them?" "Make them all nice for when...." "When anyone wants to come and see them" "Who wants to come and see them?" " Well the relatives" " Do they?" "Well they might want to come and see them and say bye" "You what?" "and then I put lipstick on them" " Do you?" " I do yeah and make them up" " Put lipstick on them?" " Yeah" "Eh you don't put lipstick on the fella's" " Do you think she's his type?" " Hmm?" "Do you think she's his type?" "Well I don't know" "So what else do you do then when you've washed them?" " What do you do?" " Work in a shoe shop" " Do you?" "and what do you do?" "Just serve, don't I" "Can I have a pint of lager a port and lemon a cinzano and lemonade please" "Got a girlfriend?" "Oh and why not?" "Don't you like girls at all?" "Yeah" "I haven't got a boyfriend at the moment" "He didn't have a drink him because it were his round" "You can come and see me if you like" "Would you like too?" "Yeah" "Well it don't matter" "Yes it does" "How does it?" "'cause you're too soft with him" "Where is it?" " You know Woolworths?" " Yeah" "It's just opposite" "You let him walk all over you" "Alright come on Monday" " Monday?" " Yeah" "When I finish work" "Are you coming back to our house?" "Do you want me to?" " Yeah " "Alright then" " Me Mum's out" " Is she?" "and me Dad yeah" "Oh I'll look forward to that then won't I" "That'll be dead nice" "Hey he's a bit funny though isn't he - He's alright " " Are you right Ronnie?" " Yeah" "Are you alright Trevor?" "It suits you that brown shirt" " Does it?" " Yeah" "Brown's your colour isn't it" "Do you think he asked her out?" "Don't know" "Do you think he did?" "I hope he did" " Why?" " Well" "I'm getting a bit sick of him keep tagging on with us" "Aren't you?" "Eh?" "Hmm?" "Aren't you getting a bit sick of him?" "Tagging on" "Are you?" "'cause I am" "Are you not bothered?" "Course I am" "Come on" "Come on left hand down a bit" "Whoah" "and again" " Right?" " Yeah" "On you go then" "How's your Wife?" "I worship the ground that's coming to her and how's your love-life?" "Eh?" "Girlfriend" "You've got one haven't you?" " Don't know?" " I had hundreds when I were your age" "One on each arm" "Come on up" "Can I borrow one of the cars" "What for?" "Oh no" "I'm not spending all day wiping the foot-prints off the roof lining" "Did you hear about the one when the Queen visited the hospital?" "No" "She went into the ward and she went to every bed" "She got to the bed right at the end of the ward and on the pillow was a little head" "Nothing else and the Queen said "hello"" "and this little head said "GO AWAY"" "She said "I beg your pardon?"" ""GO AWAY"" "So she turned to the Matron and she said" ""He seems a little upset"" "The Matron said "Well you'd be upset"" ""He's having all his teeth out tomorrow"" "Give us the hair brush" "There you are" "Here you are" "Thanks" "Hiya" "Hiya" "Why didn't you come in yesterday?" "Eh?" "Busy" "I was dead disappointed" "Were you?" "Course I was, wasn't I" "Are you serving me or not?" " What do you want?" "" "I don't like these shoes they're pointed" "Well I'm sorry that's all we've got - Right then, thank you " "Alright bye" "Is that the suit you wear for work then?" "Yeah" "Hang on a minute, I'll just put this shoe back in the box, alright I won't be a minute" "It's dead old fashioned isn't it" "Do you have to wear a black tie?" "Yeah" "You all wear them?" "Yeah" "Your hair's a bit scruffy isn't it?" "I'm working" "Just 'cause you're working doesn't mean you can't comb your hair do's it" "You better come out for a minute, alright?" "Just pretend you're looking in the window" "I'll have to go in a minute" " Do you want to come out tonight?" " I can't I'm sorry" "What about tomorrow?" "Alright" "I'll see you tomorrow outside the Roxy" "What time?" "About 7:30" "Alright" "Yeah" "Bye Trevor" "You're dead quiet you, aren't you?" "Eh?" "Are you always dead quiet?" "Dead nice in here isn't it?" "Do you think I'm common?" " Eh?" " I'll have to go in a minute" " Where?" " Home ain't I" "To Mum" "She gets dead worried if I go home late" "What are you laughing at?" "eh?" "Come to our house" "You what?" "What would I want to come to your house for?" "Eh?" "Do you like me Trevor?" "Yeah" "Do you?" "Do you think I'm dead nice?" "Yeah" "Do you think I'm dead pretty?" " Eh?" " Yeah" "Why?" "You've got nice eyes" "Have I?" "What else have I got?" "Do you like my perfume?" "Go on, have a smell" "I bet they were friends these two up here" "I don't know" "Come on" "You can see the lot here can't you" "What would you like best?" "Would you prefer to be buried or cremated?" "Don't know, what would you want to do?" " I want to be buried" " Do you?" " Yeah" "If you get cremated it's sort of like, you know what I mean it's all finished" " It's finished anyway when your gone isn't it?" " No it isn't" " No but it's different" " It's all the same to me" "I don't think it is" "Well it is" "What shall we do now eh?" "Do you want to go to a disco?" "No I don't like disco's" "No?" "I don't like disco's" "Why not?" "Eh?" "Just don't like them?" "What time are your Mum and Dad getting back?" " Soon" "You're getting a right Romeo you aren't you?" "I'll have to get up my back's killing me" "That's my house over there" "Is it?" "You can't come in" "Why not?" "My Mum's in" " What are you laughing at?" " Nothing!" "Do you want to see me again?" "Yeah" "I'll see you on Friday alright?" " Yeah" " Well you don't sound as if you want to do you?" "I do" "Where?" "I'll come round for you" "I'm not just sitting in some awful pub all night then walking round all the time, it's dead boring" "I'm not I'm not going in any disco" "Well you tell me where you want me to go then I'll just go won't I" "Eh?" "The cinema" "Alright, see you outside the Roxy on Friday" "The Roxy" "What time?" "Same as today?" "Yeah" "Alright" "Alright" "Bye" "How's the job?" "Boring, shifting boxes all day" "Leave" "That's what Sandra says, says I ought to get a job in a tailors shop" "What're you laughing at?" "Sandra" "What's she like?" "How do you mean?" "What's she like?" "I don't know what you mean" "Have you had her yet?" "Why not?" " Dunno" " Eh?" "Oh she's always frightened her Mum and Dad will come back" "Take her round to your place" "She wouldn't come round to my place" " Bring her round here" " Round here?" "I've got a bedroom" "Don't be daft" "What do you mean?" "Well what about your Mum?" "Are you going out tomorrow?" "Yes" " Where to?" " The Conservative Club with your Auntie Agnes" "There you are" "What?" "Tomorrow" "She's going out" "Hiya" "Hiya" "Hiya" "What you been doing?" "I've been in all day" "Is your Mum in?" "No, she's gone out" "What're you reading?" "A book" "Clever" " You want to take your coat off?" " We're not staying, are we?" " I thought we were going for a drink?" " We've only just come" "Have you asked us round for anything special Trevor?" "No" "Are we going for a drink?" "What?" "Are we going for a drink?" "What?" "Shut up" "What?" "Shut up" "Want to go upstairs?" " What for?" "to go to the toilet?" "" "I'll go if you don't mind" "Through there" "It's at the back" "I thought you said it was upstairs" "No" "Are you going out?" "I said I'd stay down here with my book" "I haven't told her, y'know" " What can I say?" " Ask her to go upstairs" " Oh I can't do that" " Why not?" "What would she say?" "Don't know" "She might say yeah" "You better make your mind up Ronnie" " What about?" " I can't ask her for you, can I?" " Alright?" " Yes thanks" "Are you ready Ronnie?" " Eh?" " Are we going?" " Now?" " Yeah, I want to go for a drink" "Are you ready?" "See you around" "See you" "What's up?" "Nothing" "Are you coming?" "Yeah" "What time are you going to meet her?" "Don't know" "About half sevenish or something" "What the fuck is this?" "Hiya" "I thought I was meeting you?" "I was coming" " You what?" " I was coming" "I've been waiting haven't I?" "about twenty minutes down the town" "But I'm coming" "Think you're really you think you're really" "Yeah go on laugh you..." "You think you're dead good you don't you, eh?" "Well you're nothing" "What was all that about?" "Don't know, your go" " What're you laughing at?" " Linda" " See ya Froggy" " See ya" "Hey Froggy?" " What?" "" " Are you alright?" " Yeah" "Did she hurt you?" "No" " Are you going to see her again?" " No" " Are you not?" " No" "See ya" "What flaming time do you call this?" " I over slept" " Well come on, we've got a job on" "What's all the rush for?" "we're only going to pick a body up" " It's a police job" " Police?" "Is it?" "Get in, get your foot down" " Mr Garside?" " Yes" "Come in please" "Morning" "Would you like to come upstairs" "No you stay down here please" "It's up here" "Get the eh..." " What time do you finish?" " Two o'clock" " All afternoon to yourself then?" " Yes" "I'll get them out of the way" "I think you should take her into the lounge, come on Mrs Bodger" " Don't touch me" " Well I think it would be best" " Come on, go into the lounge" " You piss off into the lounge, it's easy for you" "Yeah" "If you need us give us a call" "Alright" "I'll get my bag" " What?" " I'll get my bag" " Yes" "Well then, I'll probably see you at the coroner's office tomorrow" "Goodbye Mrs Bodger" " Shall we follow you?" " No I'll follow you" "Right" "Do you always drive so fast?" "I bloody told you didn't I?" "Name?" "Zoe, Colette, Angela Bodger" "Age three months" "Thank you" "Hello" "Want a cup of tea?" " Are you hungry?" " A bit" "Dinner won't be long" "Are you being funny again?" "Eh?" "Funny" "Anyway what've you come round for?" "To see you" "What for?" "'cause I wanted to" "Alright" "Anyway, you can't come in" "Is your Mum in?" "It's none of your business" "What have you come to see me for?" "Eh?" "Are you deaf as well as daft?" "Eh?" "What did you come round for Trevor?" "What're you doing tonight?" "What do you want to know for Trevor?" "have you come to ask me out?" " Yeah" "Last time you asked me out you didn't turn up did you?" "Hold onto there while I open the door" "Alright, no good being sorry now is there?" "Too late now" "Damage is done now isn't it?" "Linda?" "Excuse me Linda I'm sorry to bother you" " What?" " It's my mother, I can't get her up the stairs" " Hey I bet her Mum's fallen down the stairs again" " Come on" " Don't go like that" " Course I am, it's dead urgent isn't it?" "Isn't it awful?" "Come on" " Stop laughing" " I'm not laughing" "Oh Mum" " Please come on" " What are you doing?" "I want to get her upstairs" " She's fainted" " Come on" "Hello" "Are you there?" " She looks dead ill doesn't she" " Can I get some water?" "Where's the kitchen?" "Down the hall" " Come on love" " Come on" " Don't, be careful with her" " It's alright, it's alright" "Come on" "Come on" "Here you are" "Right hold that" "Do you want a drink?" "Not after your mucky fingers have been in it she doesn't" " Oh that's better" " Nah she's alright now isn't she" "I want to go to bed" "Alright we'll get you to bed" "Them stairs are dead steep aren't they" " Can we put her in there?" " Yeah put her in there on that couch" "I think we should get her to bed" "You can't" "You can" "Hold that, come on" "Here you are, right" " Oh be careful with her" " It's alright, it's alright" "Come on then" " Mind her head" " Where is it?" "Go straight ahead of you there" " In here?" " Yes through there" "Hey stop it" "Pillow up" "OK get a flannel, go on" "Don't sit on the bed" " I always sit on the bed" " Don't be so cheeky" "It's over her eyes, be careful" "That's better" "You sent for Doctor Wooly?" "No" "You better had haven't you she looks dead poorly" "Yes I'd better give him a ring" "Go on then" "Are you being cheeky again?" "Hey" "Hey" "Hey" "Come on" "What're you doing you stupid ape eh?" "she can't hear you" "Eh?" "Stop it" "Y'know when I walked into that pub, right?" "Yeah" "Was that Ronnie dead surprised?" " Yeah" " Was he?" " Yeah" " What did he say?" " He said "what's all that about?"" " Did he?" " Yeah" "Did I hurt you when I hit you?" "A bit" " Did I?" " Yeah" "Don't do it again" "Be here in about twenty minutes he said" "Oh that's better, do you want a cup of tea love?" " No thanks" " I'll have one" "Well if he's having one I'll have one" "Alright I'll go and put the kettle on" "Oh do you want one Linda?" "No thank you" "Do you want some help?" "Yes if you like" "What's your name?" "Trevor" "Oh" "What's yours?" "Dolly" "Hello Dolly" "Trevor" "Do you take sugar?" "Two" "I've not seen your husband around lately" "He's around, he's been busy" "Anyone at home?" "Hey" " In here Doctor" " Thank you" "Hey have I got taller?" "Hello" "Now then Mrs Ball, what've you been getting up to?" "She's fainted Doctor" "Fainted?" "What do you have to faint on a Sunday afternoon for, it's my day off" "I'm sorry Doctor" "And she didn't eat her dinner" "Didn't eat your dinner you bad girl" "How often have I told you to eat properly?" "you've got to look after that stomach of yours" "Will I have to go into hospital?" "No I don't think so Mrs Ball but I'll have a little look at you anyway" "Alright everybody outside please" "Come on Trevor" "Bye Doctor bye" "Bye bye" " Bye Mrs Ball" " See you later Dolly" "Close the door please" "Christine she's put on my hat" "Oh Mothers hat" "Look I'm sorry" "Could you close the front door after you please" "Alright!" "You want to come in?" "Alright" "Do you want a coffee?" "Yeah" "Why haven't you been round before?" "Don't know" "What've you been doing?" "Working" " Oh there's the Doctor just going" " Don't put your foot on there" "Have you been out with that Ronnie?" "No" "Anyway you'll have to go in a minute my Mum will be back" " Where's she been?" " She's at my Auntie Eileen's" " Are these yours?" " Yeah" "Do you read them?" "Yeah" "What sort of books do you like reading?" " Books" " What sort?" "What is it?" "Dracula?" "Eh is it dead frightening?" "Eh?" "They always have to have sexy women in them don't they?" "Do you think she's pretty?" "Eh?" "She's alright" "You fancied that Christine though didn't you?" "Eh?" "You can kiss me if you like" "Do you want to?" "No?" "Yeah" "Put your coffee cup down" " But I haven't finished it yet" " Well finish it after" "Go on" "Well come on" "Come on" " You're over there and I'm over here" " Well come over here then" "Come on" "Come on" " What're you laughing at?" " I'm not laughing" "Eh?" "I'm not" "Don't you know how to kiss anybody?" "You what?" "What're you laughing at?" "Are you coming upstairs?" "Come on" "Ah dear" "Well you better go then hadn't you" "Come on my Mum will be back in a minute" "Do you want to see me again?" "Do you Trevor?" "Yeah" "I want to go to a disco" "Alright" "This Friday?" "Yeah" "He doesn't want to dance with me Trevor" "Oh leave him don't be like that" "Well nobody else has got their hands in their pockets" "He's dead shy aren't you?" "You've been lying to everyone" "Never shut up do they?" "Eh?" "They never shut up" "What's going on?" "Pulling my hands out of my pockets all the time" "You going to dance with me now Ronnie?" "What?" "Are you going to dance with me?" " I don't know" " He can dance with me can't he?" " Go on and have a dance with Linda" " Can't he dance with me?" "Eh can he?" "Go on" "Can't he, can't Ronnie dance with me?" " Yeah" " Go on Ronnie" "Come and have a dance I haven't danced with a man yet have I really" " Go and have a dance" " You don't count him he's my man and don't put your hands in your pockets" "So what sort of girls do you like Ronnie?" " Eh?" " I'm not bothered" "Do you think Sandra's dead pretty?" "She's alright" "Do you think I'm quite nice looking?" "Eh?" "Trevor doesn't like me anymore" "Don't you like places like this?" "Eh?" "Where do you like?" "Do you like the football?" "What do you like then?" "Do you just like reading?" "What're you laughing for?" "Eh?" "I think you're really funny you" "I'm not talking to you if you just keep laughing" "Are you going to marry Ronnie?" "He's not asked me yet" "What're you laughing at?" "What's so funny?" "You" "I don't think that's nice" "I haven't really got a boyfriend anymore" "Not really" "When are you getting married anyway?" "Aren't you marrying Linda?" "Eh?" "No" "Don't know" "Would you like to come round to my house?" " Yeah I suppose" " Would you?" "Yeah" "Just have a cup of tea or something like that" "Yeah" "Do you want to get married?" "I don't know, what's this big thing about getting married?" "It's nothing to do with you when I get married" "I might do I might not" " To Ronnie?" " You're right nosy you aren't you?" "Eh" "Why are you so interested?" " Do you want to be a bridesmaid or something?" " You're always interested in what I am" " I'm not" " What I want to do" " You are" " Like what?" " Tell me what?" " Like everything" " Like what?" " You want to know everything don't you" " I do not" " You do" " What have I asked you?" " I see it all the time you're always shouting at Ronnie" "Well it's nothing to do with you" "I'm not shouting at him anyway" "You look like a cheshire cat leering like that" "Oh here they are" "How are we getting home?" "Are we getting a taxi?" "Yeah if you want" "Are you alright?" " Is he alright?" "eh?" " Are you alright?" "Yeah" "Yeah right!" "Have you had a nice time Ronnie?" "Yeah" "Have you?" " Yeah" " I have" "Well come on" "Eh Trevor" "What's up with you?" "come on" "You are you've been miserable all night" "I've not, I have been speaking" " You haven't" " Yes I have" " You've hardly said two words all night" " I have" " Well all you said is "yes" and "no"" " Alright then don't give me a kiss and see if I care" "Have you had a nice time Ronnie?" " Yeah" " Have you?" " Do you like going out?" "(Ronnie)" " Yeah (Sandra)" " Talk proper!" "(Linda)" " Do you like dancing?" " Yeah I do" " Do you?" "You're a dead good dancer" "Am I?" "Course you are, isn't he I think he's a dead good dancer" "Better than half them there he was isn't he?" " Better than Trevor" " He's alright" "Are we going again next week?" " Oh I'd like to go out" " Yeah it was great we had a good laugh didn't we" " Better than going out to the pub wasn't it, it's dead boring" " Oh yeah" " I hate that, don't you?" "It's awful" " Yeah" "Are we going again next week Trevor?" "Trevor" "Trevor" "What are you doing that for eh?" "Are you talking to me at all?" "SHUT UP" "Hang on please it's just here" "Is he rather annoyed him?" "I shall see you Linda anyway" " I've had a good night, have you?" " Yeah I have" " See you Trevor" " Oh don't talk to him" " He's not speaking" " He's stupid" "I'll see you Ronnie" "Give us a kiss then" " Come on" " Go on" "Come on, give us a kiss" "That was a quickie" " Go on I'll see you" " I'll see you" " Bye" " Bye" " It's been a good laugh hasn't it?" " Yeah it has" " Alright I'll look after him for you, bye" " Bye, bye" "Is that you Sandra?" "Yeah" "Well make sure you put those lights out when that Ronnie's gone" "He's not here" "Could you stop here please" "I've got to get out now" "Could you open the door for me Trevor please?" "Thanks" " We've had a really nice time we'll have to do it again sometime won't we?" "Yeah" "You can bring Sandra along perhaps eh?" "You rude pig" "Do you want to give me a good night kiss?" "Eh come on eh come on" "Come on give me a good night kiss, come on" "Don't you want to?" "Ooh isn't he awful" "Do you want to give me a good night kiss instead?" "I don't know if I should" "What are you laughing at eh?" "Ooh you think you're dead good don't you?" "See you later" "I'm going now" " Good night Ronnie" " Night" " Alright I've had a nice time" " Yeah" " Bye" " Bye" "Bye" " Hiya" " Hiya" " Cold isn't it" " It is" " They might not be too long in there though" " No" "Do you think they will?" "I don't know" "They might be and they might not be" " Do you like the weddings?" " Yeah" " Do you?" " Yeah" "What do you like about it?" "Well they're nice to see" "Yeah" "Do you want to get married?" "No" "Why not?" "I don't know" "Don't you like boys?" "No" " Don't you?" " No" " You not got a boyfriend?" " No" " I bet you have" " I haven't" " Eh?" " I haven't" " Why not?" " I don't know" " Don't anybody fancy you?" " No" " Don't you fancy anybody else?" " No" "No?" " No" " What do you just do all the time?" "Play with my friends" "Friends?" " What do you do with them?" " Play in the garden with my dolls" " Do you?" " Yeah" "I wish they would hurry up" "How long do you think they'll be?" "Be about another three thousand, nine hundred hours the rate they're going on in there" "Do you think so?" "Well you never know, it could be" " You alright?" " Yeah" " Are you?" " Yeah" "Sorry about last night" "What?" "Linda" "Not you is it?" "Here look at this" "What?" "Yeah look at them" "Shall we go to Blackpool in it?" "Now?" "Yeah" "Won't they mind?" "Don't know" "Come on" "English subtitles by ib50 28/9/2008 :--)"