"# We're the ladies of the chorus #" "# Here to sing and dance for you #" "# Our flirty, flirty eyes Will wink in your direction #" "# We will throw you all a kiss That's filled with sweet affection #" "# If you keep applauding for us #" "# We will give a better show #" "# A great big howdy do #" "# From the ladies of the chorus #" "# Just for you #" "[ORCHESTRA PLAYING "LADIES OF THE CHORUS"]" "# We're the ladies of the chorus #" "# Here to sing and dance for you #" "# Our flirty, flirty eyes #" "# Will wink in your direction #" "# We will throw you all a kiss #" "# That's filled with sweet affection #" "# If you keep applauding for us #" "# We will give a better show #" "# A great big howdy do From the ladies of the chorus #" "# Just for you ##" "Rita, what was that you were saying about Al?" "When that guy takes you to dinner, first thing you know, you're shadow-boxing." "PATTY:" "Oh, so he's no shadow." "He says, " Listen, baby, if you're a good girl, I'll put you in a Broadway show. "" "I suppose he thinks that's a new angle." "Millie, the guy writes me a letter and says he wants to marry me, 'cause two can live as cheaply as one, so long as one of us is working." "MILLIE:" "Well, what's the matter with that?" "GINNY:" "Nothing." "Only I'm the one that's working." "So I said, " Listen, wise guy." "I don't like anybody driving with one hand. "" "So the schmo takes his other hand, off the wheel and we crash into a tree." "I wonder why my girdle's getting so small." "Dearie, maybe you're crowding too much into it." "My dogs are killing me." "Mine are, too." "I got a date with a cab driver." "Yeah?" "Where are you going?" "Who's going?" "We're parking." "There's no business like show business." "MILLIE:" "Ah, shut up." "Would you help me, honey?" "J ANE:" "Well, look who's here." "MARGE:" "The star herself." "MILLIE:" "The queen of the quivers." "GINNY:" "Hi, Bubbles." "MILLIE:" "Slumming, Bubbles?" "MARGE:" "It's so seldom we're honoured by a visit from the star." "GINNY:" "Ain't you off the reservation, dearie?" "J ANE:" "Maybe she's getting material for a book." "Oh, can she write?" "Turn blue!" "Hi, Peg." "Hello, Bubbles." "Want to go on a date?" "Oh, he's a swell guy." "Crazy to meet you." "Oh, when are you going to stop being tied to your old lady's apron strings?" "Why don't you let the kid go out and have some fun, before her hair turns as grey as yours." "I don't mind her going out, Bubbles, but not with your particular kind of friends." "MAE:" "Course, if she wants to go, it's all right with me, but I don't think she wants to go." "Okay, Mother." "I'll just get one of the others to go along." "Now, which one of you ladies wants to go on a blind date?" "[WOMEN CHATTERING]" "Wait a minute." "Wait a minute!" "I'm going to make some coffee." "Would you like some?" "No, thanks." "How about some crackers and milk?" "I don't think so." "What's the matter, honey?" "When are you going to let me feel grown up?" "Letting you go out with Bubbles LaRue and her men friends, will that make you feel grown up?" "No." "I don't mean those kind, but I never go out with anyone." "Do you feel bitter about that?" "Not bitter, Mother." "Why should you want to go out on a blind date with some middle-aged guy who's probably married, has a family?" "There you go judging people, criticising them when you don't even know them." "You always do that, Mother." "Look, darling, I..." "I'm sick of the idea of not being able to go anywhere or do anything without the written consent of my mother." "I'm tired of being treated like a child." "I'm going to bed." "If I've got to do one more show, I'm going to drop dead." "I can't make it." "[KNOCKS AT DOOR]" "MAN:" "15 minutes. 15." "MILLIE:" "Ah, shut up." "So I went out, and that cab driver forgot to park." "J ANE:" "He says, " I'd like to see your show, baby." ""How about a couple of passes?"" "The guys I go out with don't want passes." "They just make them." "Speaking of passes, I've been knocking down so many lately," "I feel like an All-American." "Get a load of them lilacs." "Dearie, them ain't no lilacs." "MILLIE:" "Of course not." "Those are snapdragons." "GINNY:" "On her, they look good." "Hi, Peg." "Hi, Bubbles." "Like it?" "It's lovely." "You know, you could have something like that, too." "That party still wants to meet you, and he's awfully generous." "Why don't you go away and leave Peggy alone." "I'll speak for myself." "Oh, the voice of the turtle, finally coming out of your shell." "Oh, go crawl back into the woodwork." "Why, you gray-haired old hag." "Shut your mouth, or I'll slap it shut." "Oh, no, you won't." "Oh, no?" "Call my mother an old hag." "You...!" "Hey!" "Let go!" "[ALL SHOUTING]" "MAN:" "Hey, what's going on here?" "Break it up." "Break it up." "Break it up." "Cut it out, will you?" "What do you think this is, Madison Square Garden?" "She ain't going to get away with this!" "Just get her out of here, that's all." "Okay, okay." "A fine thing, fighting like a couple of alley cats." "What are you trying to do, give burlesque a bad name?" "Well, if you think..." "I'm not supposed to think." "I'm the stage manager." "My job is to get this show on." "Now, beat it onstage, all of you." "Can't you hear the overture?" "Come on, places, everybody." "Come on, now, fix your make-ups and get up there." "MARGE:" "Ever see anybody hurry you so?" "All rushed about." "Oh, your wig, Mother." "You, too." "Get dressed." "Who are you ordering around?" "What do you want me to do, say please?" "I ain't one of your stooges." "Okay, so you're the big attraction for this cookie, and you get top billing." "So if you'd have stayed in your dressing room and let these kids alone, there wouldn't have been no trouble." "So the show is about to start." "So get out there and get dressed." "Is that so?" "Well, I ain't going out there." "I'm quitting." "Right now, this minute, see?" "This turkey can fold, for all I care." "Hey, maybe you can get that old hag to go on in my place." "Oh, she ought to kill them with her corny wig and her bones cracking." "[ORCHESTRA PLAYING]" "[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]" "[WOMEN CHATTERING]" "Oh, Mae." "Joe, I'm sorry." "Forget it." "Bubbles just walked out." "Walked out?" "Yeah, quit." "Gee, that's tough." "I want you to go on and do her number." "Me?" "Sure." "You can still go out there and knock the customers cold like you used to." "That was years ago, Joe." "Let's face it..." "Yeah, and leave us face it, Mae." "The show must go on, remember?" "Okay." "It'll go on." "Attagirl." "Use Bubbles' dressing room." "The costumes are all in there." "PEGG Y:" "What did Joe want?" "Peggy, you're going on in Bubbles' spot." "What?" "What happened?" "Bubbles just walked out." "But, Mother..." "Baby, you know the number backwards." "I'll have the orchestra change the key, and you can use Bubbles' dressing room." "[ORCHESTRA PLAYING "ANYONE CAN SEE"]" "# Anyone can see I love you #" "# Anyone can see I care #" "# The way I hold your hand And smile in your direction #" "# Tells the world my heart is filled With nothing but affection #" "# Lock me in your arms for ever #" "# That's the place I want to be #" "# So anyone can see That I belong to you #" "# And you belong to me #" "[ORCHESTRA PLAYING]" "That's class." "Bubbles never did it like that." "That's too good for this turkey." "You put one over on me, Mae." "Aren't you glad?" "Yes, I am." "And the kid stays in that spot." "Thanks, Joe." "# Lock me in your arms for ever #" "# That's the place I want to be #" "# So anyone can see That I belong to you #" "# And you belong to me ##" "Well, where are we taking my Cleveland cousin tonight, Pete?" "It's all set." "We're going to see Peggy Martin." "Excellent." "Who's Peggy Martin?" "The new darling of burlesque." "Burlesque?" "Yeah." "Have you ever seen one?" "I can't say I have." "Oh, you haven't lived." "Oh, well." "Well, let's live." "Boy, Randy, we're going to get you initiated." "How about it, Pete?" "You remember the way?" "Do I remember the way?" "Boy, I ought to." "I get my mail there." "[ORCHESTRA PLAYING " EVERY BABY NEEDS A DA-DA-DADD Y"]" "# It was cold outside of Tiffany's #" "# I was shivering in the storm #" "# I walked in and asked a gentleman #" "# "Could I please keep warm?" #" "# He asked me, "How come a baby doll #" "# "Has no comfy place to go?" #" "# So I told that kindly gentleman #" "# My tale of woe #" "# Every baby needs a da-da-daddy #" "# To keep her worry-free #" "# Every baby needs a da-da-daddy #" "# But where's the one for me?" "#" "# Rich or poor I don't care who #" "# If he hasn't got a million Then a half will do #" "# Every baby needs a da-da-daddy #" "# Could my da-daddy be you?" "#" "[ORCHESTRA PLAYING]" "She's lovely, isn't she?" "Don't get any ideas." "Yeah, cousin, she's got a mother." "Yeah, everybody's got a mother." "But her mother's a one-man security council." "Right." "She knocks off wolves like they were clay pigeons." "What did you say?" "# Every baby needs a da-da-daddy #" "# With silver in his hair #" "# Every baby needs a da-da-daddy #" "# Who has some gold to spare #" "# Some sweet softie who enjoys #" "# Bringing home his baby Little diamond toys, oh, ho #" "# Every baby needs a da-da-daddy #" "# Could my da-daddy be you?" "#" "ALL:" "# Every baby needs a da-da-daddy #" "PEGG Y:" "# In case she runs aground #" "ALL: # Do-do, every baby Needs a da-da-daddy #" "PEGG Y:" "# To keep her safe and sound #" "ALL: # Yes, we feel just like Red Riding Hood #" "# 'Cause the wolves are awful hungry In our neighbourhood #" "# Oh, every baby Needs a da-da-daddy #" "# Could my da-daddy be you?" "#" "Peggy?" "PEGG Y:" "Yes, Mother." "Need any help?" "I don't think so." "Do you like my hair?" "Turn around, honey." "[KNOCKS AT DOOR]" "Come in." "For you, Miss Martin." "Thank you, Mr Gregg." "Oh, it's beautiful." "From that bookmaker again?" "No, I don't think so." "He sends violets." ""Thank you for a most enjoyable evening. "" "Who is it?" "There's no name." "No name?" "Well, that's strange." "I wonder who it could be." "Oh, probably some politician who's bashful, or married." "For you, Miss Martin." "Thank you, Mr Gregg." "You'll soon be known as the orchid lady." ""To a charming young lady. "" ""Would love to meet you. "" "Peggy, another one." "Whoever he is, he certainly has cornered the orchid market." "What does it say this time?" ""An ardent admirer. "" "Hmm, another orchid." "He must be a florist." "Are you sure you never met him?" "No, but I'd like to, just to see what kind of a character he is." "Oh, he's probably very dull." "Well, darling, I've got some shopping to do." "I'll see you at the apartment." "Okay, Mother." "Florist." "Oh." "Can I help you?" "Yes, I think so." "Something for yourself?" "Cocktail party, opera?" "Oh, isn't that a beautiful orchid?" "Oh, the one in the box." "That's an order." "Oh, I've just got to tell this." "You know, there's a fellow comes in here every evening and sends one of them orchids to his girl." "A real good customer?" "I'll say." "And good-looking, too." "He should be here any minute." "Lives in a hotel." "He comes in every evening around 6 without fail." "Pays cash, has it sent and never signs his name to the card." "How strange." "And you know what?" "This will kill you." "He sends it to Peggy Martin, the burlesque queen, over at the Rome Theatre." "No." "So help me." "Can you imagine?" "Sending all them orchids to a burlesque queen." "[TUTTING]" "There's no telling about a man's taste, I always say." "Hmm." "Well, dearie, have you made up your mind what kind of flowers you want?" "Oh, let me see." "Oh, carnations." "Okay." "One dozen?" "Two dozen?" "One will do." "One dozen." "No, no." "Just one carnation." "That'll be 10 cents, please." "Thank you." "Want me to put it in a box for you?" "No, thank you." "I'll take it like this." "Good afternoon." "Good afternoon." "Nice day, wasn't it?" "Very nice day." "Yes, it was." "You'll be sure to send this right away, won't you?" "Wouldn't you rather deliver it in person?" "No, thanks, I..." "Miss Martin." "Yes." "Well, aren't you going to give me the orchid?" "Orchid..." "Oh, yes, yes, the orchid." "Thank you." "Thank you." "And your name's still not on the card." "It's Randy." "It's Randy what?" "It's Randy what?" "Oh." "Randy Carroll." "Nice to meet you, Mr Carroll." "Thank you." "I've been planning for a week what I'd say when I met you." "And what did you decide?" "L..." "I hadn't decided yet." "Miss Martin, I..." "Well, Miss Martin..." "Yes, Mr Carroll?" "Would you go to dinner with me?" "I'd love to." "Oh, so would I." "Oh." "They're dead out there tonight, girls." "Come on, now, let's wake them up." "Peggy?" "Joe, has Peggy come in yet?" "I ain't seen her, Mae." "I wonder what happened to her." "She didn't come home to dinner." "What?" "She's onstage in 15 minutes." "[ORCHESTRA PLAYING]" "Sorry, Joe." "JOE:" "Step on it." "You're practically on." "I'll make it." "Peggy, where were you?" "I waited till 6 and then had dinner at the cafeteria." "I phoned home a little after 6." "You know, Mother, I had the most wonderful time." "And he isn't a character or a wolf at all." "He's a perfect gentleman." "You should have seen the expression on his face when he saw me." "Who are you talking about?" "Randy Carroll." "And who's Randy Carroll?" "He's the fella that's been sending me all those orchids." "And he's anxious to meet you." "JOE:" "You're on, Miss Martin." "Coming, Joe." "I'll tell you all about it later, Mother." "Would you please tell Miss Martin that Randy Carroll's waiting?" "Yes, sir." "Say, dad, are you the one that delivers the flowers to Miss Martin?" "Uh-huh." "Thanks." "Are you the one that sends them?" "Uh-huh." "Must be expensive." "Oh..." "Oh." "Well, yes, they are." "You've been a big help to me." "So have you." "Then we had dinner, and he asked me if he could see me tonight after the show, and I said he could." "Is that all right, Mother?" "[KNOCKS AT DOOR]" "Come in." "Mr Carroll to see you, Miss Martin." "Oh, tell him I'll be right out." "Yes, ma'am." "MAE:" "Oh, Gregg." "Please have Mr Carroll come in." "You said he was anxious to meet me." "Well, yes, he is." "Well, all right, then." "[KNOCKS AT DOOR]" "PEGG Y:" "Won't you come in?" "Hello." "Hello." "Oh, Randy, I want you to meet somebody." "Yeah." "Mother, this is Randy Carroll." ""Mother"?" "How do you do?" "So glad to know you." "I... hope it's all right." "My coming in here, I mean." "Of course it's all right." "It's the first time I've ever been backstage." "You're not disappointed?" "Oh, no." "It's wonderful." "Mother, Randy..." "I mean, Mr Carroll wants me to go to the Waldorf Roof tonight." "Yes." "Uh..." "Will you, uh?" "Will you join us?" "No, thanks." "You two run along and have a good time." "All right." "I won't be late." "Goodnight, Mrs Martin." "Goodnight." "Are you sure you won't join us?" "Well, goodnight." "Goodnight." "[BAND PLAYING]" "Shall we dance?" "I'd love to." "# Lock me in your arms for ever #" "# That's the place I want to be #" "# So anyone can see That I belong to you #" "# And you belong to me #" "# Anyone can see I love you #" "# Anyone can see I care #" "# The way I hold your hand #" "# And smile in your direction #" "# Tells the world my heart is filled With nothing but affection ##" "Don't stop." "Go on." "Why don't you sing the rest." "Me?" "Uh-huh." "I don't think I know all the words." "Well, then, make up some of your own." "Okay." "I'll try." "Anyone can see I..." "I love you." "You know how much I care." "The way I hold your hand and smile in your direction... tells the world my heart is filled with nothing but affection." "[CAR APPROACHING]" "[CAR DOOR SHUTS]" "[CAR DRIVING AWAY]" "Mother." "Mother." "Why aren't you in bed?" "Oh." "I was reading." "I must have dozed off." "Do you know what time it is?" "No, what time is it?" "It's after 3." "Good heaven." "Well, did you have a good time, dear?" "Wonderful." "Where'd you go?" "Club Embassy." "That's nice." "Well, I guess I'll go to bed." "Mother?" "Yes, dear?" "I..." "I want to talk to you." "Won't it keep till morning?" "No." "It's about Randy." "What about Randy?" "He..." "He..." "Peggy, what are you trying to say?" "He asked me to marry him." "[SIGHS]" "Oh." "What did you say?" "I told him he'd have to get your consent." "And what did he say to that?" "He's going to ask you tomorrow." "Oh, you will say yes, won't you, Mother?" "And if I don't, I suppose you'll marry him anyway." "I don't know." "I hadn't thought about that." "Let's go to bed, darling." "We'll talk about it in the morning." "[KNOCKS AT DOOR]" "Hello, Mrs Martin." "Hello, Randy." "Come in." "Thank you." "I..." "I suppose you know why I'm here." "Yes, I know." "Peggy told me that you asked her to marry you." "That's right." "You want my consent?" "Very much." "You're a fine boy, Randy." "I like you, and Peggy loves you." "Then, it's all right?" "Oh, just a minute." "I haven't finished." "I have no objections to you, Randy." "I'm sure you know that." "And I want Peggy to marry the man she loves." "Usually, that's all that matters when two people are in love and want to get married." "But sometimes there are other things to be considered." "What could be more important than that Peggy and I love each other?" "Well, I'll try to explain." "Peggy doesn't belong in your world." "She belongs in the show world." "Burlesque." "Burlesque queen, that's what people call her." "What difference does that make?" "You don't care." "But what about your mother and your friends?" "What will they say when you bring a burlesque girl home and introduce as your wife?" "They'd better say it's wonderful." "And how do you think Peggy will feel when she's snubbed by them?" "When she sees that your mother's ashamed of her?" "Peggy's happiness means everything in the world to me, Randy." "And to me, Mrs Martin." "I'll make her happy." "I'm sure you would, if it were entirely up to you." "Look, if my friends won't accept Peggy, then I don't want them as friends." "And if your mother won't accept her?" "That's impossible." "You don't know Mother." "She'll love Peggy just as I do." "Another young man said the same thing." "Who was that?" "Peggy's father." "Oh." "And what happened?" "Well, I was just about Peggy's age, very much in love." "He was a fine, handsome boy." "Alan Wakeley." "The Boston Wakeleys." "I was the happiest girl in the world." "[ORCHESTRA PLAYING "CRAZY FOR YOU"]" "# Got a man, got a man #" "# What a man #" "# Sweet as any man could be #" "# Got a man, got a man #" "# What a man #" "# Are you wondering Who he can be?" "#" "# I'm so crazy for you #" "# Oh, so crazy for you #" "# When we kiss Can't you tell #" "# My heart's dizzy Running round a padded cell?" "#" "# I'm so wild about you #" "# Baby, what'll I do?" "#" "# Got the shivers, got the shakes #" "# Cut it out, for goodness' sakes #" "# I'm so crazy for you #" "# Adorable, adorable you ##" "[TAPPING, ORCHESTRA PLAYING]" "[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]" "Ain't he the persistent one?" "That's Alan Wakeley, you dope." "He's Mae's steady." "Oh, is that who he is?" "Get this." "Say, Mr Wakeley, ain't you got no home?" "Sure I have, but Mae doesn't live there yet." "Not bad." "Quick on the trigger." "Hello, Alan." "Oh, you look beautiful, Mae." "Thank you." "You know, one of these days, you're going to throw this into deep centre field." "Oh, no." "Not with my control." "Oh, hey, how about my fielding average?" "Where will it be tonight, Delmonico's or the Plaza?" "That little nook at Delmonico's." "That's an idea." "I've never proposed to you there, have I?" "And please not tonight, Alan." "I just don't understand you, Mae." "You say you love me, and yet you won't marry me." "It doesn't make sense." "I'm sorry." "Look, Mae, your reasons for not marrying me..." "Must we go through all that again?" "Darling, I've told you a thousand times." "I don't give a rap what my friends think." "If they won't accept you, then they can go to blazes." "As for my mother, well, you just don't know her." "She'll love you as much as I do." "I refused Alan that night and many nights after that." "But he just wouldn't give up." "There were dances and dinners and flowers." "I couldn't have been happier." "But always it was the same thing, until finally, I..." "You agreed to marry him." "Yes." "I'll never forget that night." "It was the night that Billy Mackay and I brok e in the new act." "[ORCHESTRA PLAYING]" "[IN DRUNKEN VOICE] I'll bet you didn't think I was going to show up, huh?" "Did you see a big blond?" "[COUGHS]" "A big blond came down and says there's a big party upstairs." "Everybody's singing and dancing..." "[DRUM ROLLING, CYMBAL CRASHES]" "[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]" "You're too beautiful, kid." "So I joined the party." "But there always has to be a wise guy in every party." "And there was one of them guys in this party." "He made a few unnecessary remarks." "[DRUM ROLLING, CYMBAL CRASHES]" "[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]" "[PERCUSSION IMITATES CLIP-CLOPPING]" "[SLIDE WHISTLE BLOWS]" "[IN NORMAL VOICE] I want to see you right after this scene." "MAE:" "I want to see you, too." "Who is it?" "BILLY:" "It's me, Billy." "Come on in." "Ah, the scene went great, Mae." "You know, I got something to ask you, and tonight's the night." "Billy, congratulate me." "You're congratulated." "What for?" "I'm getting married." "Married?" "Uh-huh." "Well..." "What do you know?" "I'm leaving the show Saturday night." "Wakeley?" "Yes." "Well, I wish you luck." "Only, I don't know." "I'm afraid." "Oil and water don't mix." "Billy, I think I know what you mean, but Alan and I will work it out." "Yeah." "Sure, you'll work it out." "You know, I never told you, but..." "Not that it'd make any difference, but I've been in love with you for a long time myself." "You're a swell guy." "Yeah." "Well, if it don't work out..." "Of course it's going to work out." "Oh, what do you want to tell me, Billy?" "Oh, uh..." "Gee, I forgot what it was." "Couldn't have been very important, huh?" "See you." "Oh, closing night, we'll give you a swell party." "I'll be the head waiter." "I'll arrange everything." "[SINGS CHEERILY] # I'm so crazy for you ##" "So, you see, Randy, I was warned." "Somehow I felt that everything would be all right." "Alan insisted on getting married first and telling his mother afterwards." "He wanted it to be a surprise." "And what a surprise it was." "I was very happy those first few weeks in the home of Alan's parents." "Everyone treated me like a queen." "Until they found out I was a queen." "A burlesque queen." "Alan's mother was furious, and his friends were horrified." "There were terrible scenes after that." "When I couldn't stand it any longer," "I slipped out of the house one night and left Boston." "What happened to Alan?" "His father sent him off to Europe and had the marriage annulled." "And you never tried to get in touch with him?" "I had no reason to." "Then what did you do?" "What could I do?" "I went back to the only thing I knew, burlesque." "WOMAN:" "In the middle of the act, poor kid." "Is the doctor still in there?" "Doc, how is she?" "It's all right." "Nothing to worry about." "Of course, she should not be working." "[STUTTERING] What's wrong with her?" "Nothing wrong with her." "She's going to be a mother." "That's all." "A mother!" "You mean right now?" "Well, not right this minute." "Well, what do you know." "Peggy was born four months later." "For a long time, we lived in theatre dressing rooms." "As soon as she was old enough, I put her in school." "And I continued on in burlesque." "Not as its queen." "I became just one of the ladies of the chorus." "[ORCHESTRA PLAYING]" "[CROWD APPLAUDING]" "[ORCHESTRA STOPS]" "Boo!" "Billy!" "Mae!" "Oh, Billy, it's so good to see you." "I was out front watching you." "Kitten, you're still the cutest." "How do you feel, Mae?" "Oh, I'm fine." "Gee, you look wonderful." "Oh, I feel good, too." "What are you doing here?" "Did the show close?" "No, the show's playing Boston this week." "You weren't laid off?" "No, no, I quit." "Let's get out of here." "This traffic..." "You quit?" "Yeah." "This traffic is like Grand Central Station." "But you can't afford to." "You're not as young as you used to be, you know." "Oh, I don't know." "Besides, I got a few simoleons stashed away." "It's like this." "I got a letter from Peggy." "She's graduating from high school." "Yes, Billy, she is." "Well, it wouldn't be an honest-to-goodness graduation without your old Uncle Billy, would it?" "So here I am." "Same old Billy." "Oh, cut it out, Mae." "You'll embarrass me in front of all these people." "Oh, I got a little present for Peggy's graduation." "You think she'll like it?" "Oh, it's beautiful." "She'll love it." "Oh, but, Billy, you shouldn't have done it." "You can't afford it." "Oh, it's nothing." "It's a little thing I bought a long time ago." "Uh..." "It's for Peggy, remember?" "Well, that's about all there is." "After graduation, Peggy insisted on going to work, and she managed to get in the same chorus with me." "That was her way of helping out." "So you see, Randy, the marriage you propose for Peggy didn't work out in my case, and it won't in yours." "You're wrong." "People are different today." "They're more broad-minded about such things." "Mother will accept Peggy for what she is." "It won't work." "Mrs Martin, I hope you'll forgive me for saying this, but you have a mother complex." "I'll consent to the marriage, on one condition." "Yes, what is it?" "That you tell your mother you're going to marry Peggy Martin, a burlesque queen." "I don't want you to misunderstand me." "I agree that your experience wasn't a happy one." "But I do think you're being very short-sighted to inject your bitterness into Peggy's future." "I'll tell Mother." "That was always my intention." "Good day, Mrs Martin." "[DOOR SHUTS]" "WOMAN:" "Yes?" "It's me, Mother." "May I come in?" "Well, yes, dear, come in." "What are you doing up so early?" "Couldn't sleep." "Oh, something on your mind?" "Something you didn't tell me last night?" "Yes, and it's..." "It's very important." "Randy, you're in love." "How did you know?" "It's very simple." "You're just like your father." "Every time he had anything on his mind, it was sure to be written on his face." "Okay, you win." "Well, anyhow, she's..." "Don't tell me." "Let me guess." "Hazel Langley?" "No." "Mertis Rogers?" "No, no." "Ann Crawford?" "No?" "No, it's none of them, Mother." "It's..." "Well, then, who is it?" "Peggy." "Peggy Martin." "Oh." "The Boston Martins?" "No, just plain Martin, Mother." "No social position." "But does it make any difference, as long as Peggy and I love each other?" "She's wonderful." "And so's her mother." "Well, can't you tell me something of their background?" "Background?" "I'll, uh..." "I want you to meet them first." "And when you get to know them, I'll tell you all about their background." "All right, dear, if that's the way you want it." "Why not invite them here to spend a couple of weeks with us." "Oh, Mom, you always say the right thing." "I love you." "You know, you're a doll." "Sure you've got everything?" "Just a few little things left in the bedroom." "[KNOCKS AT DOOR]" "Uncle Billy!" "Well, how's my little gal?" "Hi, Mae." "Oh, it's wonderful to see you." "We were afraid you wouldn't make it." "Oh, I got your call, so..." "What's the do?" "You folks going some place?" "To Cleveland." "We're going to visit Randy's mother." "She's invited us." "Isn't it wonderful?" "Oh, it sure is, honey." "We're leaving on the 2: 10 train." "Oh, Uncle Billy, I'm the happiest girl in the world." "You'd better start thinking about coming to Cleveland to give the bride away." "You bet I will." "I've got to finish packing, Uncle Billy." "Well, I sure hope this works out." "It will, Billy." "Randy has told his mother we're from burlesque." "Burlesque." "Seems I've heard of that." "[IN COMICAL VOICE] This must be the place." "Yes, we've lived in Cleveland all our lives." "My husband started his business here." "Of course, he had branch offices in New York and Chicago and Los Angeles." "We saw a great deal of those cities and Europe, too." "I suppose you're a native New Yorker." "Oh, yes." "What was your husband's business?" "Uh, brokerage, Mother." "Really?" "Yes, he was a Boston man." "Oh, we've some very dear friends in Boston." "Do you know the Drummonds by any chance?" "No, Mrs Carroll." "Or the Peter Milners?" "MAE:" "Uh..." "No." "MRS CARROLL:" "What schools did you attend, my dear?" "Well, Mrs Carroll, I..." "Excuse me, Madame." "Mrs Brewster is on the telephone." "Will you excuse me?" "Randy, you didn't keep your promise." "No, I didn't." "But why, after I made it perfectly clear?" "Well, maybe I should have." "But, well, I thought I'd tell Mother after she got to know you." "Give her a chance to see for herself what kind of people you are." "It was a mistake not to tell her." "I don't think so." "Maybe Randy's right, Mother." "I hope so." "Oh, I almost forgot." "The gang's over at Roger Clark's." "I want them to meet Peggy." "Why, of course, dear." "I know how anxious your friends are to see Peggy." "Yes, they are." "Come on, honey." "See you later." "Don't be late for dinner." "RAND Y:" "We won't." "We're going over to the Brewsters' tonight to have a few hours of bridge." "You do play bridge, don't you?" "Oh, I'm afraid not." "I could never get interested in it." "That's perfectly all right, my dear." "There's always a little game of poker for those who are allergic to bridge." "Hi there, stranger." "Hi." "It seems to me I know you from some place." "Oh, yes, you're my mother." "I believe that's it." "Oh, it's so nice running into you again." "Oh, mothers like that sort of thing." "We should see each other more often." "Maybe have lunch together someday." "Well, I'll consult my date book." "Oh, I know you're awfully tied up, but, um..." "Yes, but one must consider one's mother, you know?" "True." "How true." "Shall I see you at the dog show?" "I'll be the third Airedale from the left." "We don't get to see each other much these days, do we, dear?" "No, we don't." "I've been seeing Randy constantly." "Me socialising along with his mother." "Gosh, the way she gets around makes my head dizzy." "[IMITATING MRS CARROLL] The Brewsters, the Lindseys, the cocktail parties and the bridge." "[IN NORMAL VOICE] It's like playing one-night stands." "It's exciting, though, meeting all these nice people and feeling you can be a part of them." "Makes you happy, doesn't it, darling?" "Yes, but I only hope it isn't all a dream and that someday I'll wake up and..." "[KNOCKS AT DOOR]" "Who is it?" "MRS CARROLL:" "Randy, are you still up?" "Yes, Mother, come in." "I shan't stay but a few moments." "Sit down, dear." "Well, this must be pretty important." "It is." "Well, come on." "Give." "It's about Peggy." "Peggy?" "It is time we discussed it." "Yes." "I, uh..." "I was going to tell you." "I, uh..." "I mean Peggy's engagement party." "Engagement party?" "Oh, the engagement party." "Yes, what did you think I meant?" "Oh, I thought that, well, maybe you, uh..." "I don't know." "Well, if being in love affects you like that, perhaps you'd better remain a bachelor." "Oh, now, wait a minute." "Don't get any ideas like that." "But honestly, I hadn't given a thought to the party." "Men never do." "Well, why should I worry about such things when I've got a mother like you who does?" "Calm down, dear, and listen to me." "Madam, you have my undivided attention." "Which includes listening." "Well, we'll give the party here." "We'll get an orchestra and some entertainment." "You know, you're the only son I have." "Salisbury?" "Oh, Salisbury." "Have the decorators arrived yet?" "No, Madame." "I beg pardon, Mrs Carroll." "Mrs Windrift on the phone." "Oh, dear, and she'll talk for an hour." "Well, here, you take this and arrange the room according to my diagram." "And when the decorators do arrive, tell them I suggest the orchestra should be placed..." "Well, there." "In the alcove." "[DOORBELL CHIMES]" "SALISBURY:" "Yes?" "[GURGLING] Well, how do you do." "Who are you?" "I'm Ripple." "You do?" "I mean, you are?" "I'm the decorator." "[COUGHS, GURGLES]" "Oh." "But there was to be three of you." "That's right, but there's another man coming, sir." "That'll only make two." "Oh, no." "You see, I brought Junior along to help me." "Say hello to the gentleman, Junior." "[GURGLES] Well, how do you do." "Come in." "This way, please." "You see, we're a little short of help." "You are very short of help." "All the carpets ought to be out." "The chairs to be placed against the walls." "There are more chairs coming." "The piano goes in the alcove." "The floors must be waxed." "Hmm." "Well, I was just wondering if it wouldn't be better to, uh..." "Let's not quibble, Dribble." "Not Dribble." "Ripple." "All right, we're ready." "All right, we're ready." "Well, let's go." "You know what to do." "[DOORBELL CHIMES]" "That must be the other man." "That must be the other man." "Hello." "Is this the Carroll residence?" "Yes, come in." "Don't just stand there." "There is work to be done." "Is this where the engagement party for Miss Martin's being held?" "Yes, yes, come in." "Let's start work." "I don't think you understand." "I understand perfectly." "This way, please." "This way, please." "Here's your man, Ripple." "Oh, he's here?" "Looks like I'm here." "[CHATTERING]" "Uncle Billy, I'm so happy to see you." "Hello, Peggy." "How are you?" "Hiya, Mae." "Hello, Billy." "Mrs Carroll, I want you to meet Mr Mackay." "How do you do." "How do you do." "I'll have Salisbury look after you." "Salisbury." "Randy, this is Uncle Billy." "Glad to know you." "Heard a lot about you." "Heard a lot about you, too, Randy." "Yes, Madame?" "Will you show Mr Mackay to his room?" "He is not here yet, Madame." "Salisbury, this is Mr Mackay." "Oh." "Mr Mackay, this way, please." "Oh, Mr and Mrs Windrift." "I want you to meet my son's fiancée, Miss Peggy Martin." "And Mrs Martin." "How do you do." "Oh, and I don't want you to miss this trio." "Come on." "Let's all go in." "[BOBBY TRUE TRIO PLAYS "THE UBANGI LOVE SONG"]" "# When the jungle moon Is shining bright #" "# High in the sky above #" "# The strangest noises fill the night #" "# When Ubangis #" "# Plight their love #" "# When they speak of love and passion Their lips beat in rhythmic fashion #" "# All you hear is clackety clop clop Chop chop, boogie wop, boogie bop #" "# Even if they whisper, "Honey" What comes out is loud and funny #" "# All you hear is clackety clop clop Chop chop, boogie wop, boogie bop #" "# Though it's loud enough When Johnny whispers to his Jane #" "# Just imagine what it sounds like Down in Lovers' Lane #" "# All together, love's expression Sounds like drummers In jam sessions #" "# All you hear is clackety clop clop chop chop, boogie wop, boogie bop #" "# La-la-la-la!" "Ba da da #" "# Woolie, bop bop, woolie Bop bop, woolie bop #" "[SINGS GIBBERISH]" "# Oh, just imagine waiting For a sweet and tender sigh #" "# Then you hear a bop bop, mop mop What a strange reply #" "# Love is deafening, no wonder Every kiss comes out like thunder #" "# All you hear is clackety clop clop Chop chop, boogie wop, boogie bop #" "[SINGING GIBBERISH]" "[ALL SCREAMING]" "# When Ubangis plot their clackety Clop clop, chop chop, boogie wop #" "# Clackety, clop clop Chop chop, boogie wop, mop ##" "[BAND PLAYING]" "BAND LEADER:" "Hey, Bobby, that's Peggy Martin." "BOBBY:" "Hello, Peggy." "PEGG Y:" "Hello, Bobby." "How about a song?" "Folks, you all know Peggy Martin, queen of burlesque." "Let's get her to sing a song." "WOMAN 1:" "Did he say "burlesque"?" "That's what he said." "WOMAN 2:" "Burlesque queen?" "I am surprised." "MAN:" "Lmagine Randy getting mixed up with a girl like that." "Didn't Randy tell his mother?" "No." "BAND LEADER:" "Gee, I'm sorry, Mr Carroll." "RAND Y:" "It's Randy." "Randy, please leave us alone." "But I want to talk to Peggy." "She'll see you later." "Randy should have told his mother." "You were right." "And so was Uncle Billy." "Yes, darling." "Uncle Billy was right." "Both times." "Where's Peggy?" "Inside." "She won't talk to me." "She'll talk to me." "Please, Randy." "MRS CARROLL:" "It's not Randy." "It's Mrs Carroll." "Please open the door." "Well, where do you think you're going?" "Home, where we belong." "That's ridiculous." "Ridiculous?" "After what's happened?" "So, you want to run away because a few narrow-minded people object to the way you've been earning your own living?" "You'd be willing to give up the man you love, everything, without a fight?" "Just what are you driving at?" "Running away will only make things worse." "Peggy would be bitter and frustrated for the rest of her life." "Now, our children love each other and want to get married." "Does anything else matter?" "I should have told you." "I promised Peggy and her mother I would." "But you didn't." "Not that it would have made much difference anyway." "Randy, take Peggy and her mother downstairs." "Well, what about your friends?" "I'll take care of my friends." "Hurry up, now." "Hurry, Randy." "BILLY:" "You know, Mrs Carroll, I like the way you talk." "Thank you." "[WHISPERING INAUDIBLY]" "[BAND PLAYING]" "Honey, it's like an opening night." "Just keep smiling, and it'll keep them guessing." "Well, this is it, Billy." "Um, attention." "Attention." "Quiet, everybody." "We're going right on with the entertainment." "But first, I want you to meet Mr Mackay, who will accompany the next number." "Boys, I'll start it, and you kind of sneak in." "[PLAYING "YOU'RE NEVER TOO OLD" ON PIANO]" "# A gal I knew loved wedding chimes #" "# So she got married many times #" "# At 60, she ran out of men #" "# So she married the first one Over again #" "# You're never too old To do what you did #" "# You're never too old To feel like a kid #" "# Your back may be bent Your hair may be gray #" "# But you're never too old Till you're put away #" "# Away, away #" "# Where everything is exquisite #" "# Away, away Where relatives seldom visit #" "# A girl I knew was young and sweet #" "# And all she liked to do was eat #" "# Today she does a circus act #" "# She's so round and so firm And so fully packed #" "# You're never too old To do what you did #" "# You're never too old To feel like a kid #" "# Your knees may be weak You may have the gout #" "# But you're never too old Till they strike you out #" "# Way out, way out #" "# Where no one is sour or solemn #" "# Way out, way out #" "# Where they have No society column #" "# At 25, Marie Lamarr Became a famous burlesque star #" "# At 50, she could wave a hip #" "# That would make a whole crew Abandon a ship #" "# You're never too old To do what you did #" "# You're never too old To feel like a kid #" "# You may need a cane And wear a toupee #" "# But you're never too old Till you're put away #" "# Away, away #" "# Where everything is okay ##" "Thank you." "Thank you so much." "It's really more than I deserve after all these years." "I suppose you're saying to yourselves, "Well, not bad for an amateur. "" "But I have a confession to make." "I'm not really an amateur at all." "I was also a lady of the chorus." "Can you imagine?" "Adele Carroll a chorus girl." "Yes, isn't it exciting?" "[WOMAN LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]" "I hope I haven't shocked you, my friends." "WOMAN:" "Oh, no, Adele, it's wonderful." "Well, shall we have some more dancing?" "[BAND PLAYING]" "Mother, you were wonderful." "I didn't know you were on the stage." "MAE:" "What shows were you in?" "She wasn't." "She was never on the stage in her life." "What?" "No." "That was just her idea to make Peggy and Randy happy." "But you shocked your friends." "They can take a little shock now and then." "Do them good." "By the way, a double wedding of mother and daughter really would shock them." "You know, "You're never too old to do what you did. "" "Subtitles by SDI Media Group"