"I'll go." "Code blue, I.C.U." "Code blue, I.C.U." "Hey." "It's Dawn Bell." "Oh, yeah, I guess it is early." "Um, listen, I don't think" "I'm gonna be able to do that drink tonight." "'Cause I just don't think that I have the time." "Sorry." "Bye." "Dr. Bell, you've got to come quick." "He went into V-fib at 6:09." "He's been in arrest less than 60 seconds." "Charge to 200." "Clear." "We're going again." "Clear." "Maggie, come take over." "Walk me through how you do this." "Maggie." "Maggie!" "I am so, so sorry." "You were actually asleep in there, standing up, with your eyes open." "I haven't been sleeping." "It's this shift and studying for boards and..." " It can't happen again." " I know." "It won't." "This is when residents fall apart, the ones who don't make it." " You think I won't make it?" " I know how it is." "You want to put patients before your studies, but if you fail your boards, you won't have any patients because... not a doctor." "I'm on top of it." "I've got to go." "I need to find a place to curl up and die." " Are we canceling?" " No, we are not canceling." "We are studying as a group, starting right now." "Or not." "I forgot that I'm supposed to be seeing Dr. Katz." "Sorry." "Got to go." "Okay, so, now are we canceling?" "Do you want to fail a test with Dr. Bell?" "No, I do not want to fail a practice test with Dr. Bell." "I have 30 minutes." "Let's do this." "Oh, gosh." "Thanks for fitting me in." "Happy to." "But you're pretty far along." "I assumed you'd chosen someone else to follow your pregnancy." "Well, you know I've been busy, and I'm a bit superstitious." "It's understandable." "It's your first one." " Hop up." " Okay." "So, hospital birth?" "Midwife?" "Guess I have to start figuring all this out." "Yeah, we'll schedule a talk about the birth plan" " when you're ready." " Thanks." "Now is the time when I usually ask about the father's involvement." "I am not 100% sure who it is..." "I see." "Which is not a situation I expected to find myself in." "There was just a bit of an overlap, so..." " Joel and Charlie." " Yep." "And, presumably, they both think they're the father..." " "my boys are swimmers" and all that." " Mm-hmm." " You thinking of a paternity test?" " I am." "Okay." "Well, there are some prenatal options." "The most conclusive test is something like an amniocentesis." "But, Alex, the safest thing to do right now is nothing." "I think I might need to know." "Give it some thought." "If you can find a way to wait, so can they." "Right." "So cute." "Hello." "Hello, princess." "Hello." "Cute." "How old is she?" "Six months." "And he's a he." "He's a he." "Prince, then." "Six months." "What are they like at this age?" "Oh, you know, uh, eat, cry, poop not sleep." " Not sleep." " Baby stuff." "Decaf and a banana muffin, please." "All right." "I'm sorry." "Could you hold him a sec while I get my money?" "Y... uh... of course I can." " Thanks." " Hey." "Oh, uh..." "Hello." "Hello." "How are you?" "Hello." "You're just waking up." "You're just waking up." "That's..." "Nice baby." "It's not my k..." "It's... not my kid." "That's probably not the first time you've been" " defensive about something like that." " Cute." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "By the way, if you think I'm gonna run away just 'cause, uh, Alex is pregnant right now," " you got another thing coming." " Okay." "I know this is probably pretty difficult for you, Charlie." "I'm not sure what "this" is." ""This" being Alex being pregnant with what is almost certainly my kid, so..." "Oh." "Yeah, I'm not getting my memos." "I guess not." "Yeah, well, forget we said anything." " Okay." "Yeah." " Yeah." "Yeah." "All right." "Can I have my baby back, please?" "Oh, I'm so sorry." "Yes." "Here." "So, how's it going with your, uh, legal..." "Still out on bail." "Still owe Zach 50,000 bucks." " No new charges yet." " Well, that's good." "Not really." "Until the prosecutor makes a decision, I'm kind of in limbo." " Also, about the other thing..." " Yeah." "Kind of want to know where I stand with that." "Yeah, me too." " What do we do about it?" " I don't know." "Uh..." "Hey." "What are you guys talking about?" " Ultimate frisbee." " Arabian... horses." "Okay." "Well, see you later." "Okay." "Yeesh." "Hey, I need an ortho consult in here." "Yeesh." "One of you or both of you, I don't care." "Just come." "I always go for scissors." "Yeah!" "Okay, so, what do you got?" "Oh, just a fractured clavicle." "Just a fractured... why do you need me?" "Guess I thought one of you guys might take a special interest in this one." " I'll take that." " What do you mean, "a special inter..."" "Hi..." "Donny Petrillo." "Um, how did you manage to break your collarbone?" "Disagreement with a bouncer." "Okay." "Maybe not the smartest move in the world." "It's just... wow." "Yep." "Definitely broken, and I'm sorry about that." "It's okay." "I can take it." "Um..." "I don't know that you can take it." "I mean, best-case scenario, you're gonna be in a sling for at least a little while." "How did you get the injury?" "Guy pinned my arm behind me, slammed me into a wall." "Felt the bone break." "Okay, well, I'm gonna send you in for an MRI, make sure there's no, uh, vascular damage." "Oh, um, don't have any existing orthopedic hardware" "I should know about, do you?" "You can't go through the MRI with any metal in you." "Do these count as orthopedic hardware?" "Yeah." "Yes, they definitely do." "Wow." "Dr. Frank to obstetrics." "Dr. Frank to obstetrics." "Dr. Rocca." "Hi." "Dr. Reid, thanks for coming." "Alex, you're familiar with a patient in the I.C.U. named Elliot Stout?" "Yeah." "The lawyer who's suing Melanda and you." "He went into V-fib arrest this morning." "He's stable now, but between this and his ongoing infection, his time here does not reflect well on Hope Zion." "Alex, we'd like to make Elliot Stout" " your responsibility." " Okay." "I want you in the I.C.U. monitoring him." "He will receive the highest standard of care and nothing to add to his lawsuits against this hospital." "Understood." "I'll take care of it." "Oh, and, um, congratulations." "Thank you." " You going on shift?" " Oh, not scheduled." "I'm just trying to catch up today." "Mm." "What's your weak spot?" "All of it?" "Okay, the heart scares me most." "Pediatric congenital cardiac abnormalities, atrial fibrillation versus atrial flutter," "ACLS protocols, recognizing the different arrhythmias..." "Okay." "That's... that's a lot." "Uh, do you have any time today?" "You think you could help me?" "Lana, I'm in the E.R. all day, and I can barely help myself." "I know." "I'm sorry." "You've all been so nice." "Just take the day to study." "Try and observe a cardiac surgery." "Books will only get you so far." "Right." "You'll be fine." "We both will." "Right." " Hey." " Hey." "Perfect." "Uh, Helen Kruger, bay 4." "There's something wrong with her wrist, but she wouldn't let me take a look." "I thought maybe you could, uh, try a woman's touch." "Okay." "Everything okay?" "I just fell asleep in the O.R." " Anyone die?" " No, thank God." "Then don't sweat it." "You kidding me?" "I fall asleep all the time." "In fact, I might be sleeping right now." " Bay 4." "I'll take that." "Thanks." " Wh... oh." "Mrs. Kruger... oh." "I hear you're having some trouble with your wrist." " May I just take..." " I don't think I'm ready for that." "Uh, well, it's sort of hard for me to treat you if I don't know what's wrong." "W-well, I thought it was a good idea to come, but I've-I've changed my mind." "Well, you have an ailment, and you're in a hospital, so you're in the right place, okay?" "N-no, don't touch me!" "Okay, Helen, let's make a deal." "If I leave you alone for a minute, do you promise not to leave?" "I want to help you." "Just stay here." "There's someone I'd like you to meet." "Hey." "I need your help." "Jimmy." "Hello?" "Oh, my god!" "No, you c... no, you can't do that to me." "Uh, sorry." "I'm sorry." "I, uh..." "I need your help with a consult." "I haven't actually started work yet." "Were you meditating?" "Well, yeah, I was." " Is that effective?" " For what?" "Stress, insomnia, bad-hair day, just..." "loss of self-confidence?" "Most of those, yes." "Also, it helps keep the voices down." "You hear voices?" "Everyone does, to varying degrees." "Hmm." "Well, after you help me with my patient, can-can you teach me that?" "Are you convincing me to do you a favor by asking an additional favor?" "Yes, I am." "Well, points for chutzpah." " You rang?" " Yes." "Take a look at these." " Bilateral monorails." " Mm-hmm." "Pretty slick-looking." "Where did you get them?" "Hospital down in Aruba." "That's a hell of an injury to end up with this kind of hardware." "Yeah." "Skydiving school." "Chute opened late." "Yet another reason to stay inside the airplane." "So, you got these in Aruba." "Yeah." ""Hoolberg orthopedics."" "And, well, this is for what?" "I don't know." "It just came that way." "Your name, please?" "My name is Dr. Reid." "Should any further misfortune befall me while in the care of this hospital," " I'd like to know who's involved." " Oh, I see." "Does that make you nervous?" "Not in the least." "This little cardiac event of mine should bump me up a little in transplant priority, no?" "All I can say is that we're doing our very best for you." "Now." "Now you are." "Well, your EKG readings look fine." "We've got your C. diff infection almost under control." "I'll be back to check on you later." "You know, before you go... this fever's made me a bit sweaty." "Maybe you could give me a sponge bath." "The nurses just don't do it right." "Wonderful." "You little bastard." "You lied to my face." "Hey." "So, am I good to go?" "Uh, just waiting on the C.T. results." "Um, can I have a word?" "About what?" "About the fact that you're limb-lengthening, Donny." " Sorry." "I'm what?" " The monorails." "You deliberately broke your legs." "You're trying to lengthen the bone so you can get taller." "So what if I am?" "It's none of your business." "I'm here about my shoulder." "Dangers of medical tourism aside, let me tell you exactly what you're doing here." "I know all the risks." "You can distract the bone so much, you won't heal properly." "You can also overstretch the nerves," " so you're suffering incredible pain." " I can handle pain." "Buddy, you are lucky to still be walking." "I guarantee you you're gonna be back here begging me to remove those things." "Can you just get my results so I can go home?" "Hi, Leila." "Hi, Giselle." "How's everything going today?" " It's good." " Good." "Keeping our spirits up." "How's everything with my favorite patient next door?" "Mr. Stout has finally dozed off." "Giselle, he asked me to thank you for running for help this morning." "He says he owes you one." "Wow." "You should hold him to that." "That man's got connections." "So, are you feeling okay?" "Yeah." "You know, a little tired, weak." "But everyone here has been so kind." "It's sweet of you to do that." "Taught her how." "When she first came to foster with me, she wouldn't let me near her." "Her hair was a matted mess." " It was not." " Okay, maybe it wasn't." "But, either way, she wouldn't let me near it or her for months." "Leila." "Then one day, she let me wash it." "Then I knew." "Yeah, she felt at home." " Good." " Yeah." " Can I come in?" " Mm-hmm." "Come on." "At least I'll know where you are." "Alex, can I speak with you, please?" "Yeah." "I'll be there in a moment." "That's good." "We'll get you home as soon as we can." "Okay." "What's going on?" "Dawn just got the call." "We have a donor heart." " Where?" " South General." "There are nine patients on the list who match in blood type and size." "Of those, two are level 1 and highest priority." "One is our friend, Elliot Stout, but his C. diff infection temporarily takes him out of the running." "So the next patient in line is Leila Patterson." "Yep." "I'm gonna brief the donor team." "You prep Leila." "Hopefully, if all goes well, she'll have a new heart by sundown." "Okay." "Hey." "Did you forget something?" "I have some news." "That doesn't sound good." "No, it's good news." "It seems like we may have a donor heart for you." "Are you serious?" "Now, we can't make any guarantees, but we need you to be prepared, 'cause things could happen very quickly today." "Okay." "Okay." "You don't want to wake her?" "Uh, no." "I just..." "I need a moment." "I, um..." "I put on a brave face, you know?" "If I die, Giselle goes back into the system." "I've got no one to take her..." "so she'd be alone again." "Try to think good thoughts, okay?" "We could have a real break here." "Okay." "Hey, "G."" "Wake up." "What?" "Dr. Reid has some news." "Do you have a heart for her?" "Yep." "Yeah." "Hey, Elliot." "You look happy." "Been stealing desserts from the elderly?" "No." "My mom's getting a new heart." "We just found out." "It's happening today." "We might go home soon." "This is inspiring news." "I know." "Um, I'm sure you'll get yours soon." " Sorry." "I didn't think..." " D-don't worry about it." "I'm happy for you both." "Tell your foster mother good luck for me, will you?" "I'll tell you all about it when it's done." " Joel." " Yeah?" "I got that C.T. scan on Donny Petrillo." "Those legs are something else, huh?" "Yeah." "That kid must be crazy to put himself through that." "I don't know..." "people fix all sorts of things about themselves." "Why not height enhancement?" "Yeah, or you could just accept yourself the way you are." "Oh, come on." "That is not fair." "Look at you." "You're like a perfect specimen." " Well, I wouldn't say that." " Medium height, average looks." " Small, tiny, little hands." " They're not that tiny." "I don't even know how you pick things up." "Speaking of which, Alex Reid... we're all wondering who's the daddy." "That's kind of Alex's business, don't you think, Zach?" "No, I'd say it's kind of your business and Charlie's, too, though, no?" "I mean, I'd definitely want to know if that was mine." "Well, it's not yours, so you don't have to worry about it." "Maybe it's best, though, just to give her a little nudge to find out." "How much money are you betting on this?" " 100 bucks." " What is wrong with you?" "On... who'd you bet on?" "You." "Well, excellent choice, but wildly inappropriate, Zach." "Wait." "Don't forget these." "Also, in all seriousness... if you find out it's yours, what are you gonna do?" "Are you gonna marry her, or do you think you'll just seek employment elsewhere?" "I don't know." "Are those my only two options?" " In the paternity pool, yeah." " Unbelievable." "Hi, Helen." "I'm Dr. Dey." "Whoopee for you." "Can you tell me why you're so upset right now?" "I made a mistake coming here." "No, you didn't." "You need to have your wrist looked at." "I understand that you might not be ready to show it to us yet, but, uh, for a start, would you let Dr. Lin take your blood pressure, your temperature?" "I just want to make sure you're in general good health." "No blood?" "Not until you're ready." "No blood." "You don't like needles." "Who likes needles?" "All we're asking is a blood-pressure cuff and a thermometer." "I want out of here." "That's..." "You don't have to make any decisions right this moment." "We're just talking." "It's okay, Helen." "You're safe, okay?" "Stay back!" "Do you know what iatrophobia is?" " It's fear of doctors, right?" " Fear of doctors." "Well, everyone's afraid of doctors, even other doctors." "I mean, there have been studies..." "Iatrophobics take it to the next level, like our friend Helen here." "Whispering about me is not helping." "Okay." "She's afraid of doctors." "I can't help being one." "Or maybe you can." "So, taking away the trappings of your profession may make it easier for you to get close to her." "Undercover doctor." "I like it." "So, you're, um... you're gonna..." "Uh, okay." "You know about white-coat syndrome, right, where a patient's heart will beat faster just at the sight of a doctor?" "Sure, but what Helen has is way worse than that." "Right." "Sometimes, it can be traced back to a traumatic experience with a doctor in childhood or simply a more primal fear of disease and mortality." "So what you're really saying is she's afraid of bad news?" "Exactly." "If you look hard enough, fear is the cause of most human behavior, fear and, uh... desire." "Speaking of desire, are you still celibate, Dr. Dey?" "Yeah." "H-hanging in there." "All right, we go on 3. 1, 2, 3." "Very nice." "How are you feeling?" "Good." "I'm good." "You know, if anyone had to operate on my heart," "I'd want it to be Dr. Bell." "In fact, she did." "And look at me now." "Okay." "Okay?" "Dr. Sharpe is gonna put you to sleep in a minute." "It's my special skill." "You should see me at parties." "And then you put me on a heart-lung bypass?" "Mm-hmm." "Crazy, thinking I won't have a heart for a while." "How long is it all gonna take?" "Four or five hours, maybe a little longer with your LVAD." "Okay." "Leila, if you could start counting backwards from 100 for me...?" "100..." "We'll see you when you wake up." "99... 98..." "Hey, Donny, quit walking, man." "Uh..." "Mate, it's no wonder you can hardly feel your broken clavicle." "You're in a whole other world of agony here." "It's not a problem." " I beg to..." " I-I'm fine." "I beg to differ with you." "The C.T. shows both your tibia are in malunion." "I told you I wasn't here for my legs." "They're not healing correctly, Donny." "Listen to me." "Once we remove these torture devices, you're gonna be at risk for chronic pain, for possible re-fracture." "All right, I... maybe I've been cranking a little faster than they told me to, but I'm close now." "What do you mean you're close?" "I've always been a fast healer." "And so you know, I already gained 2 inches." "I just got one more to go." " Ohh!" "Aah!" " Okay." "Okay." "Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." "Just try not to move, okay?" "Nurse!" "Dr. Sharpe?" "All good here." "Scalpel." "Starting with a midline incision." "Dawn, a word." "Not exactly the best time for "a word," Neil." "I'd rather not do this in front of everyone." "Do what?" "What are you talking about?" "I'm taking your heart." "There is no way that you are taking that heart from my patient." "Well, that is where you're wrong." "Elliot Stout's infection bumped him down in transplant priority." "His tests came back." "He's clear of his infection." "You should have checked with me before you went and allocated that heart to Leila Patterson." "I don't need to check with you." "I am the chief of surgery." "You can pull that card all you want, but the fact is that this mix-up is your fault." "While we are in here wasting time, they are extracting that donor heart." "There is no turning back." "The clock is ticking." "Elliot Stout had first priority." "He only lost it because of hospital mistake." "We cannot punish him for that." "So you're gonna punish a single mother who was in the O.R. prepped and ready for transplant?" "I didn't tell you to go and get her hopes up." "Are you really going to deny a viable heart to a lawyer who's suing this hospital for malpractice?" "He put you up to this, didn't he?" "I don't like him any more than you do, Dawn." "But he's right, and you know it." "What's going on?" "Why didn't you operate?" "There was a mistake." "I'll find out what I can." " Mistake?" "What does that even mean?" " Right now, we need to get your mom back to her room so that she can rest." "Well, what about the heart?" "Did somebody else get it?" "I really couldn't say." "Yeah, you don't have to." " Giselle, don't." " You took it, didn't you?" "Yes, I did." " I hope you die in there." " Giselle!" "Aah!" "Alex." "Are you feeling that?" "Yeah, sort of." "You're losing circulation here." "Overcranking the devices, you've dangerously extended the popliteal artery." " So I'll slow down." " I'm taking them off." " No." "I will not..." "I'm not gonna let you." " If you have gangrene, you're not even gonna have legs left to lengthen, man." "Why is this so important to you?" "I need to be 5'4"." "Why do you need to be 5'4"?" "The way the jets are built, if I'm too short, I can't even reach the pedals." " Why are we suddenly talking about jets?" " The air force, all right?" "It's the family business, until me." "If you compromise the blood flow to your lower legs, it means that you might lose them." "Do you understand that?" "Do you understand that I've had these on for over... what?" "..." "Six months now, okay?" "It can't all be for nothing." "I've been doing this for a lot longer than six months." "Let me tell you something, Donny." "This situation here is very, very dangerous." "Of course you wouldn't understand." "Look at you, huh?" "Look at you." "When have you had a problem measuring up?" "You know, actually, Donny, I'm kind of a train wreck." "Listen, man." "I actually really admire your dedication to this." "I do." "I need to fix the malunion." "So, if there's a way that I can safely leave the monorails in there, as much as I despise the idea of that, then..." "That's what I'll do." "Dr. Goran, thank you." "Don't thank me yet." "I'll take an ultrasound to make sure everything's okay." "Did you hit your head at all?" "No, no." "It's... it's fine." "And I'm sure the baby's fine." "It's just..." "This is so complicated." "What's "this," Alex?" "Rounds, surgery, studying, being pregnant alone." "You're not alone, not here." "Okay." "But if it's this hard now, what's it gonna be like when I have a newborn?" "Well, you're not the first doctor to have a baby." "Right." "Okay, well, about the paternity test..." "I don't want to take any chances." "I don't want to do it." "It's your call." "You stick to your guns no matter what anyone else says." "Lay back." "Code blue. 7 north. 2-3." "Role reversal." "This is ridiculous." "Just treat me as you'd like to be treated." "You're free to go." "It's too bad this wrist issue that brought me here will continue to cause me chronic anxiety." "Fine." "Tell me what your problem is." "I just did." "No, that was my problem." "Tell me what yours is, smart ass." "Well, I've been under a lot of stress lately." "I haven't been sleeping." "Well, drink some liquor and go to bed." "Actually, alcohol deteriorates the quality of your sleep." "Now you're just being negative." "Why are you so stressed?" "I don't really want to talk about it." "No, Maggie, this is good." "If you want her to open up to you, you should open up to her." "Thank you, Dr. Dey." "No fun being interrogated, is it?" "No one was interrogating you, Helen." "Maybe you should take a look at my wrist." "What if I find something fatal under there?" "You think what Dr. Lin has is fatal?" "You said you worked on a farm." "You're outside a lot." "Could be skin cancer." "Do you think you have skin cancer?" "We're not talking about me." "Sorry." "If I thought I had something that serious," "I'd want to treat it right away." "Helen, let me take a look." "I don't want to die." "Please show me." "Dr. Lin... is this gonna kill me?" "Hey, uh, is it true that this patient pretty much blackmailed the hospital into taking someone else's donor heart?" "Elliot Stout is a patient just like any other." "Whatever we think of him personally, we will give him our best." "Absolutely, Dr. Bell." "Good." "Okay." "Mind if I take a closer look?" "Be my guest." "So, are you aware that people are placing bets on which of us is the father?" "Nope." "But, somehow, I'm not surprised." "So, there's not enough viable regenerate here where the bones are distracted." "Yeah, if you put in an intramedullary nail, it'll shorten the tibia." "You'll have to do both legs." "Then he'll be back to his original height." "Well, at least he'll be able to walk normally." "We can't always have what we want." "No, I guess we can't." "You want me to, uh, scrub in and help you get this done?" " That would be great." " Cool." "Thank you." "Thanks, man." "Okay, donor heart looks good." "Dr. Sharpe?" "All good on my end." "All right, this is what we've been waiting for." "As I remove the heart, I will leave a piece of the atrium and all major blood vessels intact." "I have no idea how this is gonna work." "We're gonna hammer in the nail and fix the leg." "That's not what I was talking about, mate." "Yeah, it's a bit of unchartered territory." "You'll notice, on the donor heart, that they also left artery to work with." "Now, you connect the SVC last?" "That's right." "Okay." "Here it is." "I'm surprised there was a heart in there to take out." "What did you say?" "Nothing." "Uh, I just said I was surprised there was a heart in there to take out." "Towel." "From now on, you will not speak." "This is a heart transplant." "What's with the towel?" "Tell him, Alex." "She's still sterile." "She doesn't have to re-scrub." "I first noticed it a year ago, but it was small." "I didn't do anything." "Then it tripled in size in a month." "Tell me the truth." "Is it gonna kill me?" "It's not a tumor." "It's a ganglion cyst." "It's a buildup of fluid around the joint, almost always harmless." "So, what do we do now?" "Surgery is one option." "No." "Could you..." "Are you two making eyes at each other?" "No, I'm just wondering if Dr. Dey can bring me my textbook so I can check something?" "Oh, right." "Of course." ""Principles of pancreatic surgery."" "Less talking, more bringing." "Lay your wrist on the table." "I'm gonna measure the cyst with it flat, okay?" "Thank you." "Here we are." "Ganglion cyst," "A.K.A. gideon cyst or bible bump." "Why "bible bump"?" "Well, because, in the old days, there was a fast, effective treatment for getting rid of them." "People would hit the thing with a heavy book, like a bible... or a textbook." "What the hell?" "!" "Hey." "So, how do you think he's gonna take it?" "Well, six months, he had those things on," " and all for nothing, man." " Well, maybe not..." " What do we say to him?" "I mean..." " Nothing." "I mean, if I say this experience somehow made him taller on the inside..." "Ugh, that's not gonna fly." "Anyway, thank you." "Please." "I need your help." "I-I can't find my daughter." "Okay, ready to close." "Alex, you can stay to assist." "The rest of you can go." "Lana... wait." "Whatever you're gonna say, Dr. Bell, it doesn't matter anymore." "I was thinking exactly what you said." " Dawn." " What?" "It's Leila Patterson." "Clear." "Shocking." "Giselle, you can't be in here." "Can somebody get her out of here?" "Okay, again." "Let's go." "Let's go." "Come on, Leila." "Stay with me." "Come on, Leila." "Stay with me." "Hey." "Hey." "How are the monorails?" "I had to remove them, Donny." "I'm sorry, mate." "It was the only option." "How much shorter am I?" "In all honesty, I would say that you're probably back to where you started." "Hey, listen, I'd like you to meet a friend of mine." "This is Ben Poole." "Hi." "Joel says you want to be a pilot." "Already got my license." "Too short for the air force." "Well, you're not too short for airlines." "Will you give me a minute and let me tell you about my job?" "Yeah." "Sure." "So, you already have your license." "How long you had it?" " Four years." " Four years." "You instrument-rated or VFR?" "Don't know that I'll ever come back to a hospital again after you blindsided me like that." "But it worked." "And I'm not gonna die." " No." " Thanks." "No problem." "Textbook move." "Take care." "So, you gonna teach me that thing now?" "I'm very dubious about this." "Of course you are." "I was, too." "But it gives me balance, keeps everything up here tight." "I could use some mental tightness." " Less talking, more breathing." " Right." "Focus on the exhale..." "The warm air flowing over your upper lip." "Is this how you control your urges?" "Yes, it is." "'Cause it may or may not be making me feel more urge-y." "Mm-hmm." "Clear your mind." "Breathe." "I'm sorry." "Is it wrong that I'm slightly turned on by this?" "No, no, no." "There's no right or wrong." "Some people can actually achieve orgasm this way." " Come on." " No, it's true." "It's not a genital thing." "It's more of a whole-body, surge-of-energy thing." "Oh." "Okay." "I should wake her, let her know." "No, Leila was my patient." "Go get some rest." "I'll see you at the practice exam." "Giselle." "I, uh..." "I promised I wouldn't leave her." "I lost my parents, too." "I survived." "She survived it once." "Twice... is too much for anyone." "Do you have children?" "Uh, no, no." "Not... not yet." "Mm." "I love her more than anything." "I can't leave until I know that she's okay." "No, this is all your fault!" "Why would you let this happen?" "!" "She was going to adopt me!" "I have to see her." "You have to let me see her." "It took me so long to get through to her." "I'm sorry." "Wow." "Feel better?" "I'm not sure what I'm feeling." "I think you have to go to your exam." "I don't want to." "All I want to do is..." "go lay down on your couch." "Couch and I will be here when you're done." "Can I have a word?" "Bad time, Joel." "I need to know where I stand." "I said not now!" "You told me that you were gonna give me an answer." "Okay, fine." "You're suspended." "How's that?" "I can't have a doctor in my O.R." "with a manslaughter charge hanging over him." " I'm suspended?" " Yeah." "I don't care where you go, just not here." "Now leave my office and shut the door on your way out." "You lost a patient today, didn't you?" "Yes, I did." "I killed someone." "Can't make that go away." "Can't undo these..." "these feelings, you know?" "You know what I can do?" "I can fight that much harder for every single patient that I have." "Are you saying that I didn't fight hard enough?" "No." "I'm saying let me do my job, okay?" "Let me help people." "That's what I'm good at." "That's all I've got." "Fine." "I'll see you tomorrow." "I'm sorry about your patient." "Hey." "I'm sorry to hear about Leila." "Yeah." "That poor girl." "Yeah." "Leila Patterson died of a pump thrombosis." "As for Mr. Stout, providing the anti-rejection drugs work, he should fully recover." "Lana, I am..." "I told you, Dr. Bell, it doesn't matter." "It doesn't matter because..." "I quit." "What?" "What... what are you talking..." "I have been struggling for a long time, and you all know it." "You've been trying to help, but I'm holding you back." "It has been a long day." "I think that everyone needs to just..." "It's not because of you, Dr. Bell." "I am just not cut out for this." "So I'm not taking the board exam." "I'm done." "Uh, but, for what it's worth, you guys... are gonna be great." "This is not important right now." "Let's all go home." "Tomorrow will be better."