"Boy, that is a pretty picture." "Who did that one?" "Monet." "You know, I was gonna fly out of here later on... but if you'll hang that thing in my suite tonight... maybe I'll stay over another day." "Consider it done." "Sam." "Eric." "Hey, how's your stay going?" "Nicole and I are having a blast." "Okay." "Great." "There is one thing." "Nicole was just saying how that guacamole reminded her... of our trip to Acapulco last month." "Yeah." "Well, do you think you can get a mariachi band to serenade us?" "Sure." "When?" "While we're eating would be great." "Not a problem." "Okay." "I'm on it." "Mary, wait." "Hi." "Do you got a line on any mariachi bands?" "Yeah, a couple." "See this couple over at this table?" "Yeah." "Get one in the next 30 minutes to serenade them." "Just put it on my account." "Thank you." "That would be a no." "What do you mean, "That would be a no"?" "You never say no to anything." "Listen, this is a very important client." "And I'd do it myself but I have to go talk to Ed... about an even more important client." "So, please." "I'll make one call." "Thank you." "One." "You look really hot in this dress." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Hey." "Hey." "The gallery looks great." "Yeah, it does, doesn't it?" "Ed?" "Yeah." "Chip Hachmeister's into us for $2 million." "He had an incredible run at the craps table." "Now he says he's going to leave today... but I think I found..." "No." "Wait." "I got to post my quarterly results this next week... and a loss like that..." "It's no good." "Just don't let him go." "Can we put one of those impressionist paintings in his room?" "I'm sorry." "What did you say?" "Just while the gallery's closed." "What are you talking about?" "If not, he's out of here." "What was it, $2 million?" "$2.3 million." "Actually." "Which painting?" "The Monet." "I could just stare at that thing all night." "Well, you know what they say:" "Too much of a good thing..." "I reserved a private blackjack table for you." "Hachmeister gave it all back." "Ended up losing $80,000." "You're the man, Ed." "You see, I can tell you didn't mean that." "I did." "You are the man." "Don't be a wise guy." "Mr. Deline." "Thank you so much for letting us tour your exhibit." "Sure." "Students, this is Mr. Deline... the man who brought all this famous art to Las Vegas." "Thank you, Mr. Deline." "You're very, very welcome." "And thanks very much for coming." "What was your favorite painting?" "The one with the dogs." "That's amazing." "That's mine, too." "That's amazing!" "Anyway, you guys, please come back anytime you want." "And have a very nice day." "Okay?" "Thank you." "Thanks a lot." "Bye." "Bye-bye." "That's pretty cute." "There are no paintings with dogs." "The kid's in the fourth grade for crying out loud, you know." "Maybe he thought it was a Cézanne or maybe a Renoir." "Or the poker-playing dogs." "Isn't a Degas supposed to be hanging there?" "Yeah." "We're in trouble." "I don't get it." "I just don't get it." "I mean, are you telling me not one person up here saw this guy steal this thing?" "The only thing you told the guards was that we were rotating some art." "I can see how that might be a little confusing." "Which one did he take?" "The Degas, Dancers in Blue." "Where do you unload a world-famous painting?" "Well, they use them in drug deals, ransom." "Most of the time it's these people with way too much money." "They get off by knowing that they can look at it and nobody else in the world can." "Did you call the cops?" "What are you, nuts?" "If the cops know about it, the insurance company knows about it... we're out of business." "Basically, we're finished." "We have to get this thing back." "Okay, I'll take Nevada, you take California." "That's really funny, wise guy." "Listen, it so happens that I know where to start looking." "Where?" "I gotta make a phone call." "A private phone call." "All right, look, I may be gone a couple days." "For what?" "This phone call I gotta make is a private phone call." "Goodbye." "Hey, this is Deline." "I need a favor." "Why?" "What, are you kidding me, you bastard?" "You hung me out to dry on the Hallick deal." "That's better." "Right." "Look, I got to find someone." "Yeah." "All right." "Thanks for getting me the mariachi band." "Sure." "I'm glad it worked out." "Maybe it's because I'm a sucker for spontaneous things... but I thought it was pretty cool." "What?" "My mojo?" "Sam's client, Eric, is super spontaneous." "He hired a mariachi band... because his girlfriend was eating guacamole." "Nice touch." "Hello." "Yeah." "You know, I'm full of spontaneity." "There's nothing worse than somebody who plans ahead for everything." "You know what I mean?" "What?" "Okay, thank you." "That was the cops." "Neighbors reported a disturbance at our rental house." "Apparently our tenants got into it a little bit." "The police suggested somebody go out there." "You guys." "Yeah." "Costa Rica." "Villa Del Sol, Vizcaya." "No." "I'll tell him the tooth fairy told me or some frigging thing." "Look, get one of the G-4s ready." "Top it off." "I'll tell them when I get to the airport." "Steve." "Steve." "Other Steve." "What the hell happened here?" "It's a bitching weight room." "Wait a minute." "Isn't this the bedroom?" "Yeah." "I see a bed in the living room... and there's only one other bedroom, so..." "Did you know that these guys were..." "Gay?" "No." "Did you?" "No." "I had no idea." "You guys calling me?" "What are you doing here?" "Steve, dude, what the hell happened here?" "It was all Steve's doing." "If he hadn't been so..." "If I hadn't what?" "I'm not the one who broke my promise." "Guys." "Why don't you just tell us what happened." "I was working my delts." "Because Monday's my upper-body day." "This one said he'd spot me, then walks away to take a call... from some guy he met last night." "I answered the phone." "Terrible, isn't it?" "Do not test me with your sarcasm." "How do you guys handle things like this?" "Us?" "Yeah." "Keeping your relationship on track." "No." "No." "Our relationship, our friendship is..." "This is purely professional." "Yeah." "Yeah." "I thought you were partners." "No, no." "Professional." "No." "Yeah." "This is..." "Just like he said." "Look." "The bottom line is..." "I'm sorry that your relationship's hit a tough spot... but you guys got to pay for the damages." "I'm not paying for something that wasn't my fault." "Don't look at me." "I was just defending myself." "Keep talking." "Okay." "Ed, I know things went a little sideways the last time we saw..." "Sideways?" "You tried to rob me." "Ed, even so, I would not greet... a former colleague and a fellow cold warrior with a..." "That looked like a right cross." "Am I right?" "Do me a favor." "Get rid of the candy striper, will you?" "Vámonos, baby." "All kidding aside, I appreciate the "Pasadena"... you threw me back there in Vegas." "Yeah, well, my mistake." "Where's my painting, Jack?" "I don't know." "And, frankly, the fact that you suspect me..." "Gosh, how about that?" "You've stolen paintings in the past." "So?" "You know my hotel." "You know my security system." "Ed, I'm coming clean with you here." "Where's my painting, Jack?" "Ed." "Just take it easy, Ed." "Either you took it, you know who took it... or you're gonna help me get it back." "You're not going to believe this, but I had a dream last night." "You were in it." "Maria was in it." "You were all right here and you came and asked me to do one last job with you." "You know, I think you and I made a good team back there at the Company." "Pack your bag, buddy." "Answer it." "Bueno." "We do not want you helping Ed Deline." "No, I'm going to be checking out today." "Don't get involved." "No, just leave it on the same credit card." "You help him, you're a dead man." "I understand." "Thank you so much." "Thank you." "Punk." "Like a late checkout is some kind of a federal crime." "Yeah." "So, Jack?" "What, Ed?" "If you didn't do it, who did?" "Come on!" "There's this guy in L.A. His name is Ray Anawalt." "Breathtaking, isn't it?" "How you doing?" "We're looking for Ray." "What a shame." "He is not in gallery." "Who might you be?" "I'm Schmee, Mr. Anawalt's assistant." "I'm sorry, Schmee?" "Your name is Schmee?" "It is short for..." "Well, what it is short for is far too hard for the American to pronounce." "That is why I chose Schmee." "That's very interesting." "Schmee, where might Mr. Anawalt be?" "Making a special delivery of a very special new piece... to a very, very special client." "What piece is that?" "Of course, I can't tell you that." "Jack, he can't tell us that." ""He can't tell us that"?" "You can't tell us that?" "Okay." "How about this?" "No." "You can't tell us." "Can you tell us?" "Whoa, Jack!" "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry for him." "Easy." "Can you tell us?" "Yes, I'll get one." "Okay, here's the problem, each Steve is blaming the other one... therefore, both are refusing to pay for the damages." "So sue their asses." "Let's evict them." "One, eviction is time-consuming, costly, and frequently unsuccessful." "Two, technically, they have until the end of the lease to complete the repairs." "Did you guys know they were gay?" "You didn't?" "I wanted gay guys." "They have money and they make improvements." "I heard they installed new kitchen tile." "Yeah." "They also installed some barbells into the drywall." "It's probably just a lovers' quarrel." "Maybe you guys should have a little heart-to-heart." "You know, what first attracted them to each other, the mushy stuff." "Try to get them back together." "That's gay." "Talk to them." "Yeah." "Try to come up with something better." "No, ladies." "We had gone over there..." "They'll love you guys." "No." "We went to..." "Let me guess." "You guys just came from the Red Lobster... and now you want me to fill your Jacuzzi with drawn butter?" "No." "Everything's great." "All right." "See you later." "Okay." "I've never been there." "Sam, everything's great." "If we can go to the Grand Canyon immediately." "Really?" "Let's go." "I wouldn't know the first thing to say to the Steves." "I can't even manage my own relationships." "Listen." "All we have to do is use words like issues, accountability, inner child." "When did this become our responsibility?" "The girls are equal partners in this thing." "Right." "And we either argue with them or deal with the Steves." "I think you know which one would be less stressful." "I'm going to go set up an appointment with Steve." "Which one?" "One or two." "The white one." "Yeah." "I'm not like that, am I?" "Like what?" "Spontaneous, like Sam's client." "They just got back... from an impromptu helicopter trip to the Grand Canyon." "You said the other day, you thought that deliberate... non-spontaneous people are lame." "Well, I am not spontaneous." "Mary..." "I'm not." "Everybody's different." "And if you think I want you to be more like Eric Bates..." "No." "That's not..." "No, I think you want me to be more spontaneous." "I think you're way over-thinking this." "Hey, have you talked to the Steves?" "Soon." "Do not tell them to smoke the peace pipe." "Holy cow." "Ed McMahon." "Nice to meet you." "I'm Oliver Goodhue." "This is Ed Deline." "How do you do, sir?" "Ray told us to drop by." "Well, you look like nice enough fellas." "Come on in." "Thank you." "That is a magnificent Greegor." "That's supposed to be me." "Does this look like me?" "Well, I think the artist is trying to capture... the fundamental optimism, that is..." "Ed McMahon." "Really?" "Well, I'm not very optimistic that this is going to" "Make it into my collection." "Ray, you didn't tell me you had friends coming over." "Yeah." "Well." "I didn't know." "Excuse me, would you mind terribly if we spoke to Ray privately for a moment?" "You want me to leave?" "No, sir." "Not at all." "I meant, could we talk to him in private somewhere?" "Yeah." "Thank you." "Hi." "I run the Montecito." "Someone stole a Degas from my hotel." "I can't control him, Ray." "It wasn't my job, Jack." "I don't know who pulled it." "What do you know?" "What?" "Tell me." "All right, all right." "The painting's still in Vegas." "The buyer, I don't know who that is, he's coming in to pick it up." "All right?" "All right." "Pleasure, Ed." "You have a lovely home, sir." "Thank you." "Sometimes, when you're living with someone... little issues become big issues." "And even though we may want to tap into that inner child and lash out... we have to maintain a certain level of accountability..." "Yes." "Accountability." "Accountability." "Tell me, Steve, what was it about Steve that convinced you that he was, you know... the one?" "Nice try, guys." "But if you think that Dr. Phil crap is gonna work, think again." "If you want the repairs done, talk to Steve." "I gotta get back to work." "I think we made some progress." "Ed's back." "Is that Jack Keller with him?" "Wait." "Come over here." "I gotta tell Danny and Mike that we're working together." "You sure they're not going to take that the wrong way?" "It doesn't matter, I'm the boss." "And I've got 5,200 cameras that are looking at you." "You remember that, all right?" "One more thing." "With all this rushing around, I didn't have time to go to the bank." "Maybe you could..." "Ness." "Jack Keller, $500 line of credit, please." "$500?" "Here." "Thank you." "I told you not to help Deline." "Georgie, baby, don't worry about it." "I'm spinning my web." "By the time this thing is over you're gonna want to pin a frigging medal on me." "You help Deline, you're dead." "Place your bets." "A welcome committee." "You guys must have really missed me, huh?" "We saw you on the monitors upstairs." "The guy with you looked a lot like Jack Keller." "It is." "It is Jack Keller." "He's right over there." "Have you forgotten that guy tried to rob us?" "Let me explain something to you guys." "If I want to get my painting back..." "I mean, without the cops or the insurance company finding out about it..." "I got to be willing to cut a couple corners... and Mr. Keller there, he's very good at it." "The guy's not exactly a friend of the Montecito, Ed." "You guys ever see The Godfather?" "Eighteen times." "Favorite movie ever." "Well, then you'd remember:" ""Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."" "What do we need him for?" "We know Vegas better than anyone." "Yeah, and Vegas knows us." "You and me and now Mr. Mike over here, we're not going to get away... with playing undercover in this town." "We're just a little too familiar." "There are only three or four people in the world... with the money, inclination, and balls to try to buy a stolen Degas." "And I got their names for you, right there." "I thought we were looking for the thief." "The path of least resistance, my son." "The buyer is always easier to find." "One of them is in town." "Marcus Wexler." "Yeah." "Big-time poker player, he used to come here." "You might think that's a coincidence, but I'd like to think of it as... a little Jack Keller expertise." "Or maybe you knew he was coming." "Oh, ye of little faith." "The casino system says he took a marker for 300,000... at New York-New York this morning." "I'd sure feel a lot more comfortable if he was on our turf." "So we could manufacture a reason to hold him." "I like him." "I always liked him." "Yeah." "I'm gonna get him over here." "Sam?" "There's a high roller over at New York-New York." "His name is Marcus Wexler." "We need to get him over here." "Do whatever it takes." "Pay 21, sir." "Ma'am, are you in?" "Looks like he's down to his last couple of thousand." "Come up with any reason to keep him here?" "We got exactly nothing." "Checked credit reports, court records, even his video rentals." "Any porn?" "Lot of Julia Roberts." "Let's go to Plan B." "Call Keller." "We're on our way up." "Brutal." "Yeah." "I have another client." "He's interested in a private, high-stakes poker game." "I hear he's not very good." "Really?" "Let's go." "You know what they say at Midland." "If it floats, flies, or fornicates, lease it." "Trip aces, boys." "Gentleman, this is Mr. Wexler." "How you doing there, Wexler?" "This is Noel, Steve, Dick." "How you doing?" "Wexler, that's a Jewish name, ain't it?" "It don't make no never mind." "Pull up a chair there, son." "This is no-limit Hold 'Em." "Strictly "Texas Whip-out."" "That means no credit, no checks, no automobiles, and no jewelry." "Who is this guy?" "I'm either your new best friend... or your worst frigging nightmare." "Deal me in, gentlemen." "That's what I'm talking about." "Anybody hungry?" "Can we get some menus here, boy?" "Should have been something here?" "Yeah." "Hey." "Hi." "You know, this Jack Keller's a real piece of work." "You know that?" "Too bad I don't trust him as far as I can spit." "That's a pleasant image." "Did you hear about the latest spontaneity from Eric and Nicole?" "She said, she liked fish so he took her diving at Shark Reef." "Isn't that the most spon-freaking-taneous thing you heard in your life?" "You know what I just realized?" "I don't even really like spontaneity." "You're just saying that to make me feel better." "No, I really don't." "I feel sometimes..." "Let me tell you..." "I am turning over a new leaf." "How's this for spontaneous?" "That's some leaf." "Mr. Wexler, I'm Ed Deline." "I'm President of Operations, here." "What?" "I lose a little money, I'm called on the carpet?" "I'm good for it." "Besides, it was a private game." "I have no interest in your losses, whatsoever." "You have a 13-year-old son living here in Vegas?" "Yeah, he lives with his mother." "You know his address?" "I didn't think so." "She was a stripper I used to bang every now and then." "Got a little careless." "What's it to you?" "We have some sort of interest in the people that play here at the Montecito." "I also understand that you've missed a few of your child support payments." "No." "I'm out of here." "Forget it." "The hell you are." "You know, our D.A., he doesn't take very kindly to deadbeat dads." "So, I'm afraid, Mr. Wexler..." "I'm gonna have to hold you here till the police come." "Is this some kind of joke?" "You see me laughing?" "See, I'm either gonna have to hold you here till the police come or..." "Or what?" "Or where is my Degas?" "Your what?" "I'd beat it out of you but I just had my carpets cleaned." "I don't know anything about your Degas." "I think you do." "Now, I..." "A week in the county jail, how's that sound?" "I mean, even if you got the best lawyer in town... well, the arraignment wouldn't be until sometime Monday." "You see what I'm saying?" "Look." "I don't want any trouble." "Okay?" "I got an e-mail." "A guy thought I might be interested, which I'm not." "Called himself Mr. Smith." "And that's it." "That's all I know." "You got a PDA?" "Now, what's your password?" "Hey, Mikey." "So, I thought of a way we can get the Steves back together." "Liza Minnelli concert?" "No." "Better." "You push one of them around a little." "Isn't that what they've been doing to each other?" "Yes, exactly." "Think about it." "You can tease, torment, and abuse a family member, a girlfriend..." "Co-worker." "Co-worker." "But if someone else does it, you come to their defense." "Right?" "You are their staunchest defender." "I guess." "So, what does that mean?" "We tell one of the Steves we don't like his outfit?" "They obviously work out a lot, right?" "So, we just, you know, get physical with one of them." "Or get one of our security guards to get physical... and make sure the other Steve's a witness to it." "So, Steve comes to Steve's defense." "That's right." "You hook it up." "Why me?" "I gotta find our toughest security guard." "It's a division of labor, my friend." "You know, you're doing exactly what the girls did." "Yeah." "Just hook it up for tonight." "You take the white one, I'll take the brother." ""Brothah." A-H. "Brothah."" "So, where are we going to dinner tonight?" "Valentino at the Venetian." "Nice." "It's great." "So, you two seem like you're really hitting it off." "We are." "You know what?" "What?" "Maybe on our way to dinner, I'll ask her to marry me." "So, I got the incoming e-mail from this Mr. Smith." "Look at the address line." "The sender's a ghost." "Pretty much untraceable." "What do you mean, "pretty much"?" "Well, every e-mail is sent across the Internet in packets... little chunks of data that are pieced back together on the other side." "We find the server, we can find where it originated." "And you know this how?" "I read Wired when I'm on the can." "It's called multitasking." "I read, make phone calls... occasionally correspond with a..." "I get the picture." "So, every e-mail is time-stamped." "The one Smith sent to Wexler... was at 10:20 a.m., Central Standard Time." "So we know the server's somewhere in the Midwest." "Unlikely." "U.S. And Canadian laws... restrict anonymous clearing houses for national security purposes." "But, Central Time extends due south into Mexico, Central and South America." "That's where most of these anonymous servers are found." "Somebody like an offshore sports book." "Costa Rica." "Which is where Ed found Keller." "Marco." "Danny McCoy, at the Montecito in Las Vegas." "How are..." "Good." "Listen, I got a question for you." "I just forwarded you an e-mail that we think came through one of your servers." "Can you tell me where it came from?" "I owe you big, Marco." "Thank you." "It came from Vegas." "Hon, have you seen what they've done to the front of the Bellagio?" "Here, check this out." "Eric, we've only known each other for three weeks." "I know, it's part of the spontaneity." "You know, if you had ever bothered to ask... you'd know I don't like surprises." "How's this for spontaneous?" "Pull over." "Nicole, hon..." "Please let me out." "Nicole?" "I got the whole thing." "How you doing?" "Hey, Danny." "Hey, Beefy." "Oh, no." "There's absolutely no way I'm having dinner with him." "If he thinks I planned this reconciliation... he's taken one steroid too many." "Fellas." "I can't have you blocking the entrance, and it's getting a little loud." "We're just talking here." "Let's take this outside." "Danny, do something." "Guys." "Come on." "Keep your hands off my boyfriend." "Don't touch my face." "He said "boyfriend." "Boyfriend."" "Jinx." "Jinx." "Give me a hug." "Get the..." "Max Kraznau, you derivative hack." "I could paint better pictures with my johnson." "There's a market for this stuff." "How's it going, Jack?" "Last I heard, you were working on your tan." "You bring me another buyer?" "Yeah." "He did." "My name's Smith." "That ring a bell?" "I'm not very good with names." "You sent that e-mail to Wexler." "Max here, when he's not making paintings... that hang at the Holiday Inn in Pahrump, is an art thief." "I'm more like a facilitator." "Right." "Where's my Degas?" "You know, even if I knew, and I don't, do you think I'd tell you?" "You know, you can't actually ruin these." "Max, I'm going to put the word out that you did tell us... and I know everybody in this business." "Come on, Jack." "I won't work anymore." "You might not live anymore." "Well, apparently, you're screwed either way." "Let's go, Jack." "Keller." "This one I am a facilitator, just a go-between." "His name's George Beckwahr." "He took The Scream in Oslo last summer." "Three days ago he hit the Montecito." "Where is he now?" "I don't know." "Really, I don't know." "Okay, listen, English, this is what you're gonna do." "You're gonna call this Beckwahr... and you're gonna tell him you found a buyer." "But if you warn him or signal him in any way..." "You're dead." "I'll kill you." "You do understand that, don't you?" "Ed?" "That Beckwahr, naturally, is going to have a lot of security." "How we gonna take them out?" "We're not gonna take anyone out." "We're gonna rob the son of a bitch." "Wow." "Well, here's to working together again." "A great team reunited." "You try to screw me, you'll die." "I'll kill you." "Ed Deline." "I got to admit, I'm surprised to see you here." "Tell you what, you don't throw any crap at me... and I won't sling any at you." "How's that sound?" "Fair enough." "So, how'd you find me and who's he?" "He is my art expert." "Alfredo Griffin." "It's not really important how I found you." "$2 million." "You get what you want and I get what I need." "I got clients who'll pay twice that." "Swell." "Give it to them." "But, it won't be long before word is out that it's a stolen painting... and I won't have a reason not to turn you in." "How do I know the money's real?" "Try that." "How do I know that this painting... is the same painting that was taken out of my hotel?" "Nothing happens until my man okays it." "Knock yourself out." "Is it bueno?" "It's bueno." "You got it covered?" "Yeah, I got them." "You got them?" "Son of a bitch." "Son of a bitch." "What's doing, Frank?" "Ed, how you doing?" "Listen, two bums found this guy in the dumpster, all beat to hell... saying something about a Jack Keller and Ed Deline." "He did, huh?" "Find anything on him?" "No." "No ID, nothing." "How about the dumpster?" "Nothing." "So, you know this guy?" "Never saw him before." "All right, gentlemen." "What do you think?" "It's nice." "Perfect." "It's better than perfect." "Yes." "Steve's a Michelangelo with spackle." "The faux finish was his idea." "All right, guys, food's ready." "Okay, Danny?" "Yes, Mike." "And Mike." "Great." "All right, gentlemen." "I propose a toast to Mike and Danny... for straightening us out." "Hey!" "To Steve and Steve, men of their word." "Yes." "And to Mike and Danny... we'll have you for lunch, and you'll have us for dessert." "Kidding." "You should have seen your face." "Should've seen your faces." "I'm not gonna say anything." "Like what, "I told you so"?" "You don't have to." "I put an RF transmitter on the money." "What the hell?" "Keller's here?" "Yeah." "Greg." "There's a guy walking through the casino right now." "Shirt and tie, dark suit, dark hair, carrying a brief case." "Heading towards Table 42 right now." "Bring him to me as soon as you can." "Danny, run that through the counting machine and check it." "No hard feelings, kid." "A thank-you would be nice." "Permit me to say something here, Jack." "You're a rat bastard." "You know, Eddie, I think I could get used to this town." "Well, don't." "You're right." "Maria doesn't like the dry heat." "We're even, right?" "Jack, when did you decide not to screw me?" "Come on, Ed." "About 10 minutes ago." "Ed." "It's all there, except for $100." "Never leaves empty-handed." "Shall I put your bag in the limo, sir?" "Yes." "Thank you so much." "Just hold on a second." "Thank you." "Thank you, sir."