"There's no smell." "It happened a week ago, you say?" "I came home from the shop, and she was in the kitchen." "I said:" "Rush, Maria Olegovna, they're almost out of yoghurt" "And she says in this sad voice:" ""I've rushed around enough, it's time I took a rest."" "I immediately suspected something was amiss." "Then she went off to her room." "That was the last we saw of her." "To work!" ""FONTAN"..." "with "INEX" and "TROITSKY MOST" Studio present" "Agnes Soral" "In Yuri MAMIN's film" "WINDOW TO PARIS" "Original script by" "Arkady TIGAI and Yuri MAMIN" "Arkady TIGAI and Yuri MAMIN" "Go away." "The vodka's finished." "Get the people out of here!" "Play the "Internationale"." "Leading actors:" "S. DONTSOV, V. MIKHAILOV" "The subject development was suggested by Felix MIRONER" "In the script's preparation participated:" "Viacheslav LEIKIN and Vladimir VARDUNAS" "Producers Guy SALIGMAN Lavrenty EMRASHVILI" "WINDOW TO PARIS" "PART 1" "Good day, Nikolai Nikolayevich!" "Everyone in line!" " Hi!" " Good morning!" " You didn't freeze?" " I'm used to it." "I'm looking at a place today." "They've given you a flat?" "No, a room in a communal flat." "Good day, Nikolai Nikolaevich!" "Nikolai Nikolaevich, why are your children blocking the way?" "Herman awoke during the night." "Moonlight flooded his room." "He looked at his watch:" "a quarter to three." "Sleep left him." "A this moment, someone passing in the street peeking through his window and immediately walked off." "Unfamiliar, shuffling steps approached, the door opened, and on the threshold appeared the figure of a woman in white." "What are you doing in the dark?" "Saving electricity?" "This is equipment for the school of management." "1 20 megabytes hard memory" "Can't you see we're having a lesson?" "I can see." "Boys, bring the stuff in." "Get out of here this minute!" "Don't mind us." "We'll talk later." "Dear Nikolai Nikolaevich!" "You're over-dramatizing the situation." "Nothing terrible has happened." "We simply can't have valuable equipment strewn in the hall." "This is your most valuable equipment!" "Don't you understand?" "That's why we employ you to cultivate, ennoble, refine the soul..." "You're talking to me as if I'm a child or an idiot." "For you my subject is rubbish and the children see that." "To be frank, we don't prepare musicians, but businessmen." "If this were a musical college yours would be the main subject." "But you didn't get along there." "Our main subjects are management and marketing." "Sure." "You brought up builders of communism." "Now it's builders of capitalism." "And the result is one: beasts of pray and ignorant thieves." " How many megabytes did you say?" " 1 20." "The chrysanthemums in the garden have long since withered." "But love lives on in my sick heart." "Let me kiss you, dear." "Papa, open the door." "Congratulations, daughter." " Good day." "Who are you looking for?" " I'm moving in." "Into the old woman's room?" "I don't know." "It's 1 8 sq.m." "Someone's come to live in the old woman's room." "It's sealed up." "I have a warrant and the key." "We'll break the seal." "Come in." "This is where she lived." "Blimey, where have you come from, parasite?" "It's the cat of the woman who died here." "She's been dead a year, and he was gone." "Suddenly there he is." "Fat as a pig!" "As if he'd been feeding at the meat factory." "How'd he get in here?" "The furniture is all ours." "Maria Olegovna, when she took her leave, said:" "I leave the furniture to you who are like a family to me." " Where to with the chair?" " Here." " And this, papa?" " Can't you work it out for yourself?" "A rental shop..." "Concerto for vermicelli and orchestra." "Why so many pianos?" "We work at the factory." "You a musician?" "Here's to Nikolai Nikolaevich, my neighbor and colleague." "And here's to my other neighbor van Kuzmich!" "He's a real fisherman." "Catches eels in the city canal." "I'll fetch some pickled eels right away." "No, don't!" "They stink of shit!" "They live in shit all their life." "OK, we all live in shit." "So fetch your eels." "I don't like eels, myself Till '83, we got them in our Party rations." "I gave mine to the chauffeur." "I'm a simple fellow, I'd rather suck on some dried fish." "In 70 years, your lot fairy sucked us dry!" "And now see what we have to suck!" "I left your party before the putsch." "Your kind just comes and leaves by any asshole." "I always carry my Party card!" "I'll die with it." "Here's to the last communist!" "Ditch you lousy school." "Do you need those juvenile slobs?" "You'll be better off working at our factory." "We need tuners." "We play in the orchestra every night and every day we're drunk." "We play in the orchestra every night and every day we're drunk." "Max, Max!" "So here you are, you rascal!" "I'll have a few words to say to you at home." "See that?" "We're pissed." "Who was that?" "The dead old woman, my neighbor." "We'll have to call a priest to have the room blessed." "Where did she go to?" " Who?" " Your old woman." "To the cemetery, where else?" "She was a plague in life, and still is." "What a cupboard!" "Did you see that?" "In 20 years I never knew there was a way out to the roof." "So that's how she comes and goes from the cemetery." " Were you at the funeral?" " No." "She simply disappeared." "Maybe she didn't die, after all." "You mean she comes flying in here alive?" "That's a lot of nonsense." " You can feel it's got warmer." " Another drink's what we need." " What time is it?" " 2:06" "You've got a lively night life here." "The fire escape's on the left." " Let's get there." " Lads, what's that down there?" " A porcupine!" "You'd do better to go to bed." "I can't stand the sound of a broken piano being murdered." "We'll be late." "They'll close." "I can't go backwards down the ladder." "A step is missing here." "Where to now?" "Don't step on my hand!" "It really has got warmer." " Shh!" "Quiet now!" " Hold on, lads!" "There used to be a beer stall here." "We always had a mug before school." "Every bastard knows me here." "It's a foreign currency joint!" "Let's beat it!" "Hold it!" "Why can't I, a native Russian, have a mug of beer in my own country?" "Not enough?" "Have some more." "See how they treat us Russians?" "Remember our Party.There was nothing like this in its days." "Take this, it's all I've got." "Still not enough?" "If I have no stinking bucks!" "Does that mean I can't have a beer?" "Hey, look: they accept "baldies"!" " I've got one, too!" " I only collect these." "Excellent beer!" "I haven't had it so good for ages." "And we get by without your party." "Tomorrow we'll come with a canister." " I think you fell, Petia." " Not me." "My body did." "See how well they mended the street!" "If you give our people a free hand, they'll do anything." "But for the TV tower, I'd never known my neighborhood." "If you only knew how dear to me are Petersburg evenings!" "Here we go." "Get in, lads." "See you tomorrow, Gorokhov!" "Kolia, good-bye!" " Get in, Fedia!" " I'll take the subway." "It's closed." "It's past 3 AM." "Don't be a nut." "Let's go." "Kolia!" "I'm so glad you've moved in with us." "I'm fed up with the dames." "But I liked you the moment I saw you." "Ditch your school and come to our "Red October" musical instruments factory!" "Days, you'll tune pianos." "Nights, we'll play near the subway..." "Stop!" "This is more than I can bear!" "Why did you do that?" "Stop!" "That's bad, unsynchronized." " The Director summons you." " Can't you see we have a class?" "I'm sorry." "The collective has decided:" "For behavior inconsistent with a pedagogue's calling... e.g., systematic infringement of pedagogical ethics, childish populism and damage to equipment belonging to the Lycee," "Nikolai Chizhov, teacher of music and aesthetics, is to be dismissed from the teachers' staff and his class time to be turned over to priority subjects" "Anything biting?" "Biting?" "Nothing but condoms." "They've fouled up the whole ecology, the bums!" "On this very spot, I used to catch bream this big!" "And now you're lucky if you catch a lousy minnow!" "Excuse me, are you the last in this queue?" "Where have you been?" "They've given me the sack..." " Forget it!" "Come take a look!" "Look!" "I'm being refracted..." "What's the matter with you?" "I'm undergoing special refraction." "What's that?" "I'm undergoing refraction in space, blockhead!" "Bloody heck!" "Don't just stand there!" "Come here!" "Well?" "Does it remind you of some place?" "Right!" "We're in Paris, comrade." "Hold on tight, or your head will start spinning again!" "To hell with it!" "Impossible!" "I can't believe it!" " It's possible, Kolia!" "The discovery of the century!" "Of course, it's the discovery of the century." "God!" "We must invite the scientists." "The specialists." "You off your head?" "You want a frontier post here and a kick in the ass from us?" "Not a word to anyone." " Hey!" " Yes, that's good." "Just be grateful I brought you here." "No scientists." "This is for the two of us." "They write in French so we won't understand." "Here's a fine job: a turn of the handle and money pours." "The perfume doesn't come cheap here." "Look:" "loads of stuff down the whole street, and not a buyer in sight." "Who needs that?" "Forty varieties!" "All this'll rot, they'll dump it." "But if you ask for some, they'll rather die than give it." "The French are stingy." "See the bottles they drink from!" "And they say we Russians are drunkards." "They started it all." "These are our furs, from Siberia!" "How many Russian mink die for their prostitutes to dress up!" "What a monster!" "Don't think of taking it home: you'll go blind." "More radioactive than Chernobyl!" "That fat mug should be pulling a cart, but he's in films." "Oh, it's me!" "The bastards!" "Here's the fire escape!" "And the bar!" "But where's the embankment?" "Simple enough." "We're looking for a bar by the embankment." "There's our street!" " Are you sure?" " Or maybe over there..." " Where?" "There or there?" " The devil can tell..." "That's it." "Farewell, Russia." "Hey!" " You could see the tower there." " You can see it anywhere." "Here's the embankment." "There was one there, too." "Kuzmich!" "How did you get here?" "Through your ass." " Lie!" "Through the old woman's room!" "Why should I be tramping through other people's rooms?" "Do you know where you are?" "First time in a year they bite and you addling my brains." " Go away!" " Where to?" "We're lost!" "What do I care?" "Come here!" "Here it is!" "Here's the wall, and here's the fire escape ladder." "They're so rich they throw away motorcycles like this!" "Churches all about and they don't even believe in God!" "Look who's here to greet us!" "That's where the pig got so fat!" " Well, expect a visitation!" "I'll take care of this visitation tonight." "The insolent bum walking about as if he owns the place." "He brought us to Paris and all you can do is shout at him." "Look at this!" " So you speak French?" " No, it's an Ives Montand song." "If you think you can get away with this, you're mistaken." "The police know about your last night carousal." "You'll have to respond before the law." "What does she want?" "She says thank you for tuning her piano." "You're welcome, Madam." "It was no trouble." "Play the fool at home in Poland, but observe the laws of civilized society here." "She definitely wants something." "What could a Parisienne want of a Russian peasant?" "You've inflicted damage for 5500 francs!" "Look what a mess you've made of my studio!" "I told you!" "She's asking us in." "Take my advice, don't be shy." "demand you pay damages and put the studio in order." "Don't pretend you don't understand." "I have witnesses." "Watch her wiggle her fanny!" "How am I to restore this composition?" "That's a hint!" "Hot babe!" " I think she's repulsive!" "What about the divan?" "What'll I do about these stains?" "And the lobster?" "You broke its pincher!" "She wants the crab position on the divan!" "Gorokhov!" "Darn Vera found the door." "I'm off!" "Take the condom." "They've got AIDS all about here." "shit face?" "Everyone's looking for you." "Already found yourself a dame, you jerk!" "What do you mean?" "She's Nikolai's bird!" "Parasite!" "Waving your arms too!" "What's this brawl about?" "And who are you, anyway?" "You don't speak French at all?" "I've had enough." "I'm calling the police." "Don't call the police." "Don't be afraid, we won't hurt you." "I'll fix your piano free of charge." "Monsieur Prevant, help me get rid of him!" "You don't understand!" "Stop, lads." "Here it is." "The bridge, the tower, the river and the bar!" "That river was like Fontanka." "This one's a piddling ditch." "No more questions." "On we go." "I'd say this detail is revealing of your friend's character." "You're right, Coco new not fear." "He attacked even the largest dogs and turned them to flight." "The best are the first to die, unfortunately." "In our family, all the males are fighters." "My grandfather, cavalier of the Legion of Honor, was a fighter." "So was my father." "Likewise, myself." "And Coco, too." "Max!" "Max!" "Meow, you old witch!" "Good day, Maria Olegovna!" "Have you nice neighbors in the other world, or louts like us?" "You ought to be ashamed, Maria." "If you want shopping done or the doctor, call us, but Paris..." "All Paris needs is you!" "You've done enough spoiling this place." "We forgot to ask your permission to take a walk about Paris." "The window belongs to us now!" "We'll come and go as we like." "No you won't!" "Because this window is closing!" "That's a lie." "How can it close?" "But for that, I would have gone there when still young." "Tell us when it closes." " I will not!" "You will!" "No!" "Vera, get the scissors!" "We'll cut off the kitty's balls." "Don't you dare!" "Let the cat go." "I ask for the last time: when?" "We'll cut them off!" "Very well, you monsters..." "Read this." "The exact dates are marked." " Run!" "The window is closing!" " What do you mean, closing?" "Paris is closing, blockhead!" " How do you know?" "The old woman said so." "Her grandfather was a scientist." "He worked it all out." "See this rain.There wasn't a cloud in sight in the daytime." "All as the old woman said." "Just wait till midnight strikes." " How long will that be?" " I don't know exactly." "That's all humbug." "You'll see when it closes." " When will it open again?" " In 20 years." "In 20 years, we'll be too old for Paris." " Get closer to the windows." " I can manage myself." " You'll fall, you idiot." "Take care you don't fall." " Where'd you put the tank?" " I gave it to Mum." "And the hind wheel, too." "What are you doing here, Kolia?" "I don't understand you..." "Your chum decided to emigrate." "The sort of friends you have!" "Drag it away before they catch you in the act." "At least, we're not traitors like you." "That's an offence." "Motorcycles are common as mud in Paris." "They even dump cars, they got so fat at our expense." "Why at our expense?" "Who do you think shielded them from the Golden Horde?" "In the 200 years we kept it back they've been developing." "So you're just taking your due?" "Precisely." "And it's OK to rob other people's tents?" "This is ours!" "Let him use it." "We're generous people." "I'm giving you my room in exchange, may you choke on it." "Thanks for the room." "We may be poor, but we're ready to share our last kopeck." "Here, it's a cruel world." "No one will offer a hand in help." "Go to hell, you and your advice!" "We'll go all right, but you'll remember your fatherland, when you lie dying under a hedge among the frog gobblers." "Kolia, get up!" "The window is still open!" "Where to with these?" "Leave them where you found them." "Good day, Nikolai Nikolaevich!" "Did you sleep well?" "You didn't feel cold in your tent?" "Nights are warm here." " Mum!" "The colors will stain!" " Don't tell me what to do!" "See the outdated spelling?" "This was written before the revolution." "Exactly!" "They used a different calendar then." "So what?" "When you celebrate the Old New Year?" "On the 1 3th..." "Put those rags aside!" "We only have 1 3 days ahead!" " 1 3?" "What do you mean?" " Round it off, Mum." "Silence!" "I'll read the Strike Committee's declaration." "We, students of the Business Lycee demand:" "1 :" "Recommence the aesthetics classes." "2:" "That the canteen again serve doughnuts." "3:" "Permit smoking during recesses." "Nikolai Nikolaevich, I'm so glad that you're back among us." "Thank you, I no longer need money." "But if you could give me a French textbook..." " What do you mean?" " I need a textbook." " For which year?" " For all of them." "But they've all been checked out." "We'll give you anything if you influence the kids." "I have a proposal that will suit everyone." "Withdraw your demands and attend classes." "I, on my part, will arrange a fantastic excursion." "Where to?" "To a place you've never been to and aren't likely to see." "To a place you've never been to and aren't likely to see." "Vera!" "Hold on to the money." "Stop them!" "Hey!" "Are you out of your mind?" "Let go of me, you damn monkey!" " Hallo!" " Stop them." "What are you doing on my roof?" "Clear out before I have them put you behind bars." "Madame, may I make your akwiance?" " What?" " Acquaintance." " You cretin." " Why?" "Please come in. make yourself comfortable." "I'll go fetch your pet." "There..." "I thought this will liven things up a bit." ""The Afternoon of a Faun", so to speak..." "Faun!" "She was a virgin." "It was an unfortunate way of putting it..." "I meant "Diana Resting after the Hunt"." "Adele couldn't hurt a fly." "She was a noble creature." "But surely she rested from time to time." "But not in this loose position." "She was very modest." " I'm so tired of idiots!" " What?" "Get your ugly mugs out of here." "I need a Russian-French phrasebook and Russian swear words dictionary." "There!" "You thought we'd be playing in orchestras here." "You were wrong." "Nobody here wants art." "Nobody!" "Come on, you're exaggerating." "Just look at these fat chops." "Those are the French for you." "Thick as planks." " Surely not all of them." " All." "No, really." "What about Voltaire or Bizet?" "As thick as the rest of them." "Shrimp with lemon." "We know: "The mighty French culture fertilized the Russian culture."" "It was we who fertilized them." "We filled their void with profound meaning and now stand in awe of them!" "I don't agree with you." "No?" "See those people sitting behind us?" "You know what their conversation is about?" "It's about the food they're stuffing in." "And you remember how we in a communal flat on Lenin square, on the kitchen table  a bottle of vodka and one pickle..." "And we talked about fine arts, Motherland's fate, about God." "Oh, well..." "Gorokhov!" "What are you doing?" "What do you need a piano for on the roof?" "I'm going to give concerts, stupid." " Bought for hard currency?" " No, for your pretty eyes." "Who gave you the right to spend Convertible currency on yourself?" "On myself, huh?" "Who'd you think I bought this for?" "You!" "Mum, to think I wasted my life on him!" " Wretched parasite!" " You old prostitute!" "Me ask no noise." "Me call police." "No noise." "Call police." "Madame!" "Pardon, don't call the police!" "When you deal with your wife, you beat up her face, but when it comes to a French tart, it's "Pardon!"" "Madame!" "Everything will be OK!" "Yves Montand!" "C'est la vie!" "Peace, friendship!" "Pardon, merci!" " Who took down our lines?" " Who needs your rags?" "I know who needs them." "I'll sort her out now!" "Vera, please stop it!" "She's already on her way over." "There'll be trouble..." "We're not saying a word." "Slut, idiot, tart!" "You be scoundrel, fool, bastard, shit, bandit!" "Is that so?" "I'll show you!" "You know what this is?" "Stop!" "Stop!" "At last we've found it!" "The church, the bar, and the ladder!" "It's the wrong church..." "and the wrong bar." "They're robbing someone." "There's just as much shit here as back home." "Let's go!" "You say:" "look at the dirt, the poverty, the boorishness." "You're right, on the one hand." "On the other..." "Take me:" "I have everything:" "a car, a flat, a job, a family." "But I have an ache here." "The farther, the worse." "I've been here." "And Australia, the Hawaii, Florida and Japan." "So what?" "It's just the same as watching it on TV in Petersburg." "But when I sat bare-assed in my communal flat, and couldn't even dream of all this, somewhere deep inside I was much richer!" "So many plans!" "I was bursting with ideas!" "Then go back there!" " If it were that simple!" " It's very simple." "It's no occasion for irony." "I swear, I'd give up all:" "France, Australia, car and coat, if you'd return to me my Nevsky Prospect and communal flat!" "But give it back this very moment!" "Will you be satisfied if it's in half an hour's time?" " Well, I'm blowed!" " Straight ahead.Turn left." "Careful, there are steps here." "Why such a stench?" "Are we in a loo?" "It's a surprise." "Especially for you." "A nice surprise but too stinky." " Which way?" " It makes no difference." "It makes a difference to me." "Zip along Nevsky, past Field of Mars, then turn right..." " Along Fontanka?" " No." "Along Mokhovaya, to our local little pub!" "Then left, and step on it till you get to the end." " Is he just out of a madhouse?" " He's just over from Paris." " Is everyone a nut over there?" " All without exception." "Get out." "We've arrived." "Take off your blindfold." "Recognize it?" "So long, and good luck!" "Stop!" "News bulletin." "Democracy is upon us, bringing to the sacred banks of the Neva not merely foreign traders, but foreign gangsters as well." "Two criminals were arrested while breaking into a flat..." "That's them, the foul parasites!" "They maintain, in broken French, that they are citizens of France." "They are, more over, unable to explain their presence in Petersburg." "They'll pay for it." "Not so fast." "What about Lenin Square and your communal flat?" "To hell with all that!" " Stop the idle talk!" " I've already stopped." " You'll find me a job." " No problem." "Get up!" "Cover your eyes!" "Cover them properly!" "Let's go!" "Stop!" "Careful!" "Don't scratch it!" "I don't need to be told." "What are you doing there?" "Gorokhov!" "I'm coming down." " You bet you are!" " What's the matter?" "Your French tart has chopped the ladder." "What am I going to do?" "Mother Russia, I'll never see you again!" "Madame, can I help you?" "Gorokhov!" "Get me out of here!" "Well, are you satisfied now?" "This is not Adele." " What do you mean?" "A grey angora with spots, white bib, blue eyes..." "That's it." "The eyes!" "She has a frivolous look." "Adele's eye were chaste and meek." "She was a virgin, just like me." "Perhaps the light's not quite right." "I'll open the window and you'll see." "Let us through." "You gang of bastards!" "You'll pay for this!" "Go to hell!" "She thinks we can fly." "Excuse me." "They look even more depraved in this light." "My Adele, you know, had meek and gentle eyes..." "You be scoundrel, fool, bastard, tart!" "Mesdames!" "Messieurs!" "By" Red October"factory's pianos, the sturdiest!" " You'd do better if you played." " Right." "Congratulations." "We'll take you." "But I should warn you, we're no "Moulin Rouge"." "We believe in serious art." "Our club was founded almost 300 years ago, and we have traditions you will have to reckon with." "To start with: stop smoking." "No smoking here." "Second, take off your trousers." "Why?" "Clear enough." "Take off your trousers." "If you don't, you'll lose the job." "Can't you show your legs?" "6 sections in all." " Height?" " 2.5 meters." " Too low." " Banks use them." "But you don't know these people." "If you insist, we can put in electronic eyes." "Anything crossing the beam sets off the electronic defense, triggering either high voltage electric shock or a blast of neuro-paralytic gas." " Could I have both?" " Certainly." "And I'd also like a row of spikes on top." " Smeared with poison?" " Is it possible?" "Madame, you've seen too many horror films and are over-dramatizing the situation." "So." "For physical injuries we'll confiscate the telephone." "For moral damage, we'll take the bird." "Hey, thief!" "Give back my things immediately." "Stop and give back my things, that's an order!" "All right, we've had our little joke, but there's a limit." "Open the door, you bastards!" "Thieves!" "This time, you won't get away with it!" "I've had enough." "I'm going to the police." "You'll remember me!" "You'll keep out cold." "Messieurs!" "There are toilets for that!" "Madame, tell me, which district is this?" "She's ill!" "PART II" "Cheers!" "Hands off Lenin!" "Remember, Russia always rested on three whales:" "God, Tsar, and Fatherland." "Ma'am, save Russia!" "Keep her from hands of Jews and Masons!" "Sign in support of our deputy!" "RUSSIA IS FOR THE RUSSIANS!" "How much is the chicken?" "Hey, girl, is the dressing gown for sale?" "You're a foreigner!" "Are you cold?" "What are you doing naked in such weather?" "Come home with me, we'll get warm." "Watch the step." "She's with me." "My bird." "Careful, there's a piss on the floor." "Sit down." "What a beauty!" "Who is she?" "Keep your hands off." "She's a foreigner." "Get out of here!" "What are you shivering for?" "We'll get warm now." "Cheers!" "No, drink it all." "Bottoms up!" "Feel that?" "Sure!" "Are you getting warmer?" "What a nice gown you've got." "You're nice, too." "And your bird is nice, too." "I like your gown and the hat." "They were yours." "Now they're mine." "C'est la vie!" "Your tails, monsieur!" "Thank you very much!" " No trouble." " Monsieur, and the trousers?" " No trousers." "I won't play Mozart trouser-less!" "No one here wants to see Mozart in trousers." "Then I won't play at all." "Then you'll die under the hedge." "Let me die, but with my trousers on." "That's your Russian prudery for you!" "You all play at being saints, being in fact a bunch of thieves." "Vodka and foul language - that's your moral code." "You say one thing, do another, think yet another!" "You're shit!" "Messieurs, you speak French?" "Help me!" "Wait for me!" "I'm coming!" "I'm French, just like you." "Let me through!" "I must speak to my fellow countrymen!" "I must go home!" "Leave me alone!" "You little bitch!" "No, no I'll show you "monsieur"." "I beg you, let me go home." "I'll allow you free passage through my flat." "Police?" "This is the place, lads, I've found it." "Look: here's the house, the wall, the grill, the church." "And where's the fire escape ladder?" "There are thousands of such places in Paris!" "Then I don't know..." " But I know!" "Madame, excuse me, I must get through." "Hello." "Come in, I've no time to waste." "Lower it down here." "Over to the left." "That's it!" "Look, there're some books!" "Get in, granny!" "And you said we'd never lift her up!" "We did!" "What a car!" "A"Citroen Cabriolet"." " Look at those lights!" "Halogens!" " Where's the French girl?" " I'm serious." "Where is she?" " Your dame's in Petersburg." "Gorokhov sent her there for re-education." "I always carry it close to my heart, I'll die with it." "I always carry it close to my heart, I'll die with it." "In these hard times, when our Party has been forced underground we have fought our way here to fellow French comrades:" "The Party still lives!" "Our way to you was hard and full of deprivation." "Our delegation was exposed to cold and famine." "But communists never give up!" "And extending to you our hand in friendship, and adhering to the principles of proletarian internationalism, we exhort you to pay our taxi!" "Long live international solidarity of workers!" "Long live everlasting friendship between our parties!" "No pasaran!" "8500 francs?" "You've really come straight from Moscow?" "No, from Leningrad." "Have a look..." "It's her!" "Edith Piaf!" "Here's a book about her." "Help me get out of here." "Don't leave me here, I beg you!" "I want to go home!" "Don't do that." "Get up!" "What are you doing?" "Calm down." "See what you've done to the famous artiste?" " She's got a concert today." " Well, what of it?" "You think she can go out on stage in this condition?" " Where's her concert?" " In a concert hall..." " Which one?" "The "October"." "Find "October" phone number." " And who might you be?" " Mme. Piaf's interpreter." "I double as the pianist." "Your documents, please." " How could I have them?" "I'm in my concert dress, I don't even have pockets." ""October" Hall?" "Lt. Vragov, 20th Police station, speaking." "Do you have Edith Piaf performing today?" "You do?" "With whom?" "Who?" "With Elvis Presley?" "Well, we have them both down here at the station." "I'll pass the word." "Greetings to you both." " We are free to go?" " Free to go?" "We have criminal proceedings against your artiste." "For assault of an officer on duty and material damages." "What damages?" "See this broken cap." "This offence calls for arrest." "Don't you realize that a concert with Edith Piaf is worth more than Petersburg's entire Police Force?" "Splendid!" "Then let her pay for material, and, especially, moral damages." "Hard currency." "I'll find out in a minute." "Madame Piaf..." "Have you been taking drugs?" "Madame Piaf has agreed to pay in goods." "What goods?" "Video, TV set, washing machine, cigarettes..." "Can we have two videos?" "I can't read item 1 7 here." " Uev or Muev..." " Captain Chuev." " 2 cassette recorders and a hair-drier." " Thank you." "Petrenko will take you to your hotel." "Madam Piaf invites you to her concert." "Hallo." "Who are you escorting?" " French Artists." " What are the names?" "Edith Piaf and Elvis Presley." "And you, I suppose, must be Fyodor Chaliapin?" "Petrenko!" "Where are the artists?" "In the car." "Artists, my foot!" "I want these criminals brought to the station." "In case of resistance, we use weapons." "Easy now!" "Get out of the car!" "Only don't shoot!" "Quick, shut the door!" "Madame, let's go!" "Step on it!" "Petrenko!" "Why don't you reply?" "I order you to reply." "Go to hell, I've had enough of you." "Answer according to Regulations!" "I've shot them." "Shot them?" "But you don't have any bullets." "And you don't have any brain, you idiot" "It's not Petrenko!" "All highway and police cars!" "Stop police car No..." "Your card, Madam!" "Let's see your card!" "Leave her alone." "She's a foreigner." "What about your ticket?" "Are you also a foreigner?" "I could be a foreigner, too!" "None of them have a conscience." "It's that insolent breed." "They've got money for restaurants." "I know their kind!" "Keep calm, citizens." "We'll soon get off." " And who'll pay your fare?" " Get them out of here!" "Who will put this country to order?" "!" " I'm Nikolai!" " I'm Nicole!" "At long last!" "We've waited long enough." "We were worried." "You tell him, Vera." "You ran off with the club's costume." "That wasn't nice." "Dinner's ready." "We have an occasion to celebrate." "You won't believe your eyes." "See what a beauty..." "So soft and comfortable." "Just feel the suspension!" "A"Citroen"!" "Time to take your medicine." "Drink this." "Why give her shit to drink!" "It's full of synthetic nitrates." "Try this!" "7 6 per cent, made with natural herbs!" "See how it spreads through the system." "Let's try it, too." "Your health!" "Best of all, give her a rub down." " What do you mean?" " Strip her, then rub." "I'll give you such a rub down you'll crawl to the ceiling." "She's ill, poor thing!" "And hungry..." " Come to our place for a bite and drink." " Our table's loaded." "Can't you see, she won't come." "Leave her alone." "She doesn't have to, if she doesn't want to." "If the mountain won't come to Mohammed," "Mohammed goes to the mountain." "Kolya, you have callers." "Greetings, Nikolai Nikolaevich!" " We've come." "That's wonderful." "And what next?" "You promised to take us to a place we've never been to." "Come on then!" "Do you think they're taking us to lunch?" "Comrades, in 1 5 minutes we'll be at Pere Lachaise." "What are perlachaise?" "It's a famous restaurant." "Like "Maxim's"." "Nikolai Nikolaevich, how do you say in French" ""a window to Paris"?" ""A window to Paris"?" "Let's see..." "Kolya, we've found them!" ""We haven't eaten in six days."" "Right, the concert's over, time to go home." "Don't you understand?" "Home!" "The window is closing." "Well, let it close." "It won't open again for 20 years." "Got it?" " Got it." " Let's go then." " We've decided to stay." " You what?" "We've decided to stay." "What do you mean, "decided to stay"?" "How can you decide?" "Grow up first, then decide." "I'll decide for you meanwhile." "Come on!" "Fine." "You've decided to stay." "What about your parents?" "It's all the better for them." "Fewer problems with food." "You're a bunch of fools." "They love you." "They worry." "They think something has happened to us." "But we've written to them." "When they learn we're in Paris, of course, they'll be glad." "Then we'll invite them over and they'll have a good time." "Nastya!" "What about your granny?" "She'll die without you." "Don't play on her feelings." "Her granny's sick because she doesn't have good medicine." "But we'll buy her medicine here and she'll get better." "And the money?" "Where's the money going to come from?" "See this?" "We've earned 248 francs already." "The French are kind people." "They won't abandon children." "They're kind, but you won't always be children." "Do you plan to spend your lives sponging on them?" "Why our whole lives?" "We'll find other work." " Dishwashing..." " Or washing cars..." "There's plenty of occupations." " What do you mean?" "Beauty has its value everywhere." "Clever girl." "You ought to be ashamed." "Your teacher gave you a treat and the thanks he gets." "He's in the hospital because of you." "You're cruel, ungrateful children." "Very well." "You're right." "You were born at the wrong time, in a miserable bankrupt country." "But it's your country." "Can't you make it a better place?" "You could do much, believe me." "But you haven't even tried." "Don't you really care?" " And you?" " I do." "Then why have you decided to stay here?" "Who said I'm staying?" "No, thanks, I don't want to spoil my appetite." "Look!" "That's Gorokhov's neighbor." " Kolya..." " Stop!" "Wait!" " Kolya!" "It's us!" "Open the door, do you hear me!" "Gorokhov, dear!" "Come for my sake!" "The window's closing!" "Insensitive creature." "Let them say goodbye!" "Contact the Russian embassy." "They'll help their countrymen." "The hell they need you!" "No passport, no money..." "We can't get along without the French communists." "We're fed up to there with that party!" "Give me that thing, please." "I have a brilliant idea." "Hands up!" "Where to?" "To Petersburg!" "What are you standing there for?" "Give me a hand!" "Agnes SOLAD" " Nicole Sergey DONTSOV" " Chizhov Victor MIKHAILOV" " Gorokhov Nina USATOVA" "Vera" "Kira KREILIS" " Petrova, Gorokhv'e mother -in-law" "Natalia IPATOVA - Gorokhov's daughter" "Victor GOGOLEV" " Kuzmivh" "Tamara TIMOFEEVA" " Maria Olegovna" "Jean RUPPER - M. Prevaut and others" "Directed by Yuri MAMIN with Arkady TIGAI" "Camera" " Sergey NEKRASOV, Anatoly LAPSHOV" "Art Director" " Vera Zelinskaya" "Music" " Yuri MAMIN with Alexey ZALIVALOV" "Sound" " Leonid GAVRICHENKO" "The End"