" Leafs are the best!" " Go Maple Leafs!" "Go Leafs go!" "Yeah, Maple Leafs!" "Win the cup!" "Yeah!" "Welcome contest winners!" "Get ready for the Toronto Maple Leafs blue and white game!" "Maple Leafs..." "Come on out and meet the kids." "Hey." " High five, buddy." " McNally!" "McNally!" "McNally!" "You're my hero." "Come on, McNally." "Head in front." " Come on skate, skate in!" "Who's on McNally?" "!" "Keep your eyes open, guys!" "It's a practice!" "McNally, it's a practice." "You suck, McNally." "You suck." "You suck." "Heads up!" "McNally, you suck." "You suck, McNally." "You suck." "McNally you suck..." "Will the team keep together a back line tandem borrowed from the Peterborough Petes and les Ramparts de Quebec?" "And the final question: can the Canadian Juniors get one for the thumb?" "Tomorrow we'll look at the big boys." "We'll get their sticks to center ice and divvy 'em up." "We'll give you the Stanley Cup contenders, the Cup Pretenders and the also-rans." "So whether you like the biscuit upstairs where grandma keeps the peanut butter or skate-level where the chips are thick." "Consider us your home rink." "And to all you bruisers with noses for the corners remember, you might get hooked and if you get hooked, you could get a penalty shot." "I'm Eric McNally, thanks for watching this NHL preview edition of penalty shot." "See you in the blues." " Clear." " Good." "Good job, guys." " Good job, Eric." " Yeah." "Good job, Eric." "Thanks." "Channel 5 just challenged us to a pick-up game." "You in?" " Sure." " Only reason I hired you." " What?" "I'm joking." " Yep, joking." " Oh." " Listen, if you wanna get out from behind that desk," "I'm thinking I'll let you cover the world juniors." "In Reykjavik?" "I'm surprised you know how to say Reykjavik." "More reason to learn how to say Reykjavik." " Alright good, we'll pick 5 players to follow, maybe 6, interview them here." "You know, the heart-warming stuff with their families." "Grab some B-roll of them at practice and then we'll fly you out to Iceland to track 'em for the network there." "Who's going to Reykjavik?" "Huh?" "Reykjavik!" " In December yeah, here you go." " Ah, you don't fool me." "You know what?" "I'll put in a word." "See if they let me take an assistant, so I might take you." " Yeah." "I wanted to be put in news." "I wanted to cover politics, breaking world issues, I mean..." "Why am I in sports?" "Is it because I'm pretty?" " All you can do is play hard for the team that picks you, Nula." " Oh, and there is someone from your team in your office here to see you." "Hey." "Nice office." "You got a little teen boy bedroom thing going on." "Everybody does here." "So uh..." "You met everybody here?" " Don't worry, this time I was your lawyer." "I mean, I was your lawyer." "Hm." "What's up?" " Julie died." " I'm sorry." "Who's Julie?" " She's that girl that my brother Billy was living with until a couple years ago." " Ah." " We can't find Billy and there's a chance that he's" " An asshole?" " No, we know he's an asshole but..." "What are you doing right now?" "He's in Brazil." "Isn't he?" "Brazil." " Probably why we can't find him." " Short of searching the jails and the alleys, I don't know where else to look." " Sam and his brother are not so good at keeping in touch." " Well we have a problem then seeing as Billy is Scot's guardian and all." "Who's Scot?" "Wait!" "Billy was working at a resort somewhere." "Who's Scot?" "I mean, assuming he's managed to keep the job." "Maybe we could track him down that way." "Who's Scot now?" "Julie's son." " Julie's..." "Julie had a son." "I didn't know that." "And Billy's the dad?" " He's not Scot's dad." "I mean not by birth anyway but" " According to Julie's will he is now." " Billy's not really father material." "He's a loser." "I mean, I don't see her giving him custody of her son." "And Billy wouldn't take Scot unless there's money involved." " I think there's money involved." "Proof." "This is dated 5 years ago." " Well, she died of an overdose." "I don't think keeping her personal files updated was upper-most on her mind." " Where's Scot now?" "Child Services Ottawa." "And he's okay there until we find Billy?" " We feel, we being Child Services, it would be better for the ward to settle into his permanent home." "Or until we can find Billy, your home." "What?" "Congratulations." "You're dads." " Nope." " It's only for a few weeks." "No!" "Kids?" "You're joking right?" "No way, kids, I can't stand the little things." "You knew about this back in the office." " I knew it was a possibility." " Bad call." "'Cause boys that age are nightmares." "And boys any age are nightmares." "Two words: night mares." "And I should know, I grew up playing hockey with 'em." "You know, first thing he does..." "He sells our TV." "He's not gonna do that." " He'll sell our TV and then he'll drain the liquor cabinet." "He'll be a liquor bag, a booze hound and then he's gonna wreak havoc throughout the entire house Sam." "Our house!" "That you spent all that time fixing up." "And then, after the booze and the TV, girls." "Girls, Sam." "He's gonna drag some poor girl up here and deflower her." "Right here in our bed with your fancy 500 count sheets which we'll never be able to use again." "What if he forms a gang?" "What if he has a bad haircut?" " Didn't stop you." " Stop." " Breathe." "Our TV isn't going anywhere and I'm pretty sure nobody gets deflowered anymore." "Look, we have to do this." "It's the right thing to do." "No look," "We don't have to do anything." "I've spent the last 5 years building my life back up, doctors, physio, to where I finally like my life again." "I don't want my life to change." "Trust me." "Life as you know it is not gonna change." "Ryan!" "Ryan!" "Drop the damn stick!" "Give it to me to beat you with." " It's only for a few weeks." "Mildred." " Sam asked me to make up Scot's room." " They're not coming home 'til late." "I have time." "Thanks." " After George died, you shovelled my sidewalk, you mowed my lawn." "Christ, 2 months ago you cut down the tree in my backyard." "Right but I didn't do those things so you would make a bed." "I can make a bed but thank you." " And that's all you're doing?" " Ah, I'll throw in a couple towels and face..." "Things." "Oh, you remember my son?" " Yes, George Junior." "We were at his wedding." " He's divorced now." "Wasn't that quick?" "Where's his room?" "Upstairs?" "This is where you're putting him?" "!" " Alright George, I'll see..." "The boys mother just died and in that fragile emotional state you're gonna throw him on that?" " Yeah, it's a mattress." "It's a bed." "It's a air bed." " What we're gonna need: a real bed with a real bookcase and a real desk." "Yeah." "Posters, pictures..." " What's wrong with" " George." "You think this junk's gonna fit in your father's old study?" " No, let me stop you right there, Mildred, okay." "This is not, okay, this is not junk, I mean, I" "You have a gym membership somewhere?" "I have three." "Why?" "Mildred." "Mildred!" "No." "Mildred." "Mildred." " Toronto picks up the puck sending it down..." "Still looking for an opening." "Puck passed up the zone and it goes back into the" "Eric, we're here." "I..." "Oh, uh..." "We just made it." "Scot, this is Eric." " Nice to meet you, Scot." " Nice to meet you, Eric." "It's hand cream." " It's called Pink Gardenia." "I have the bath splash too." "Yeah, it was his mother's." " Oh, was it?" "Was it your mom's?" "That's..." "What is that?" " It's a charm bracelet." " Again, Julie's." " Right." "What are you..." "Would you like a..." "You must be hungry." "Do you want something to eat in the kitchen?" "We have..." "I'll make you a turkey sandwich or..." "Peanut butter." "Kids like peanut butter." "Or pop!" "Do want a pop?" "Do you want a root beer, a Pepsi?" "Ginger ale?" "Mountaindew?" "Uh, juice!" "Juice?" "We have uh, would you like to..." "We have some pear juice." "It's kind of a fancy pear juice that Sam brings into the..." "The..." "I'm watching the Leafs." "Maybe, you wanna watch hockey?" "I only like musicals." " Okay, Scot, why don't I take you upstairs?" " Yeah, that's great." "Yeah, take him upstairs." "Show him his new bedroom." "New bedroom?" "You know what?" "Wait one second while I uh..." "Scot." "Wow!" "Wow!" "I uh..." "I haven't seen your room since Eric fixed it up for ya." " What do you think?" " Who's that?" " Wayne Gretzky." " Who's that?" "Wayne Gretzky." "I'd like to go to bed now." " Okay, you don't need anything from your um, from your bags downstairs?" " No, I think I have all my necessary toiletries in here." "Okay." "Well, bathroom is downstairs on the second floor and we're just opposite if you need anything." " Sam?" " Yeah." " How long do you think I'm going to be here for?" " I called Billy." "I left a message." "And I think by the time he flies up here, maybe..." "Couple of weeks." "Well, I guess..." "Goodnight." " What's gardenia?" " It's a kind of flower." " What's he doing with hand cream?" " # It's the most wonderful time of the year #" "# With kids jingle-belling and everyone yelling #" "# To be of good cheer #" "# It's the most wonderful time #" "# Of the year #" " You know, Child Services had him sitting by himself in a hallway." "Didn't remember me." "It's no surprise." "I think he was 7 last time I saw him." "Everything he owns is in those trash bags." "Clothes are dirty." "Nobody washed 'em." " Well, so you can do that." "Wash clothes." "He doesn't have gloves or a proper coat." "So you go shopping." " He's missed a month of school." " You can enrol him tomorrow." "While you're at it book an orthodontist appointment for..." "Look Sammy, you want to be worried about anything, worry that the kid's upstairs singing Christmas carols." "In October, to himself, by himself." " Nobody told him how his mother died." " You could chance I'm staying away from that topic too." "How's he think his mother died?" " Child Services told him she died in a car accident." "Well look Sammy..." "That's Billy's problem." "Not your problem, Billy's problem." " So he didn't call?" " He didn't call." " Thank you." " For what?" " For Scot's room." " Don't thank me." "Thank Mildred." "And the team of archaeologist that unearthed it." " # It's the hap-happiest season of all #" "# With those holiday greetings #" "# And gay happy meetings #" "# When friends come to call #" "# It's the most wonderful season of all #" "Hi." "What are you doing?" " Hey Ryan, calm down." " Let me go!" " What's going on?" " Uh Eric, a little help here." " Yeah that's right." "Call your other faggot, faggot." " He was going to kill me!" " Give me my car lock!" " Eric, violent child over here." " That's it." " Let me go!" "Put me down." " You forgot to say faggot." " Alls I was doing was hitting apples with the car lock." "He's the one that came out talking weird. "What are you doing?"" "Hitting apples." ""Why are you doing that?"" "Cause there's nothing to do." ""Why don't you eat them?"" "Who eats apples?" "!" "And then he said he wanted to kiss me." "Kiss you?" " You think I'd make this shit up?" " All I said is I could kiss him." " To a kid holding a car lock that's well thought out." " Hey, Scot come back." "Eat your cereal." " That is not a proper breakfast." " Should I go after him?" " My dad used to just yell." " Get back here!" "You have to eat something!" "I am going to need a helmet and chest thingies and pads like the roller-bladers wear." " Wait, wait, wait." "Pads?" "!" "Wait a minute." "What for?" "For protection." " For starters, how about not telling kids with iron clubs you could kiss 'em." "How 'bout that?" "Heads up!" "You threw pudding?" " Yes!" "Pudding!" "Kids like pudding." "You can make friends with other kids by uh, you know, bargaining with them." "No, sharing with them." " Pudding?" " Okay, not pudding." "Uh..." "Pop-Tarts, cheese sticks, Yogos, Oh..." "How 'bout these juices with pictures of dinosaurs on them?" "You know, does he even have a baseball glove or baseball or..." " No." "No." " Football cleats?" " Maybe on his charm bracelet." " So, you'd say you're the primary guardian?" "We also require a secondary contact." " Oh but you'll call me first right?" "Right?" "Head got chopped off." " Eric McNally." " Oh, and he is your...?" " Can we just put his name down?" " Huh?" "Yeah." "Eric..." " She asked me how my mom died, I told her there was a car accident." " And now she has no head." " Okay class, today we're saying hello to a new friend:" "Scot Latour." " There's only one T. Everything kind of stops after that." "Oh, that's neat, okay." "Good, one T. There we go." "Well, that's a very interesting spelling, Scot." " But you should know, my last name..." "You spelt that very well." "Thank you, Scot." " The dying dog tried to stand but he could only raise his head." "As his trusty friend licked his hand one last time, the poor trapper whispered:" "good buddy, good dog and then the noble animal lay still." "He was gone." " Nicely done, Carla." "Good okay, Scot." "The other dogs..." "Didn't understand..." "What had happened to..." "Their buddy." "They gently nudged his still..." "Sweet face." "There was no sign of..." " Class, that's enough." "Come on now, class." "Class!" "There you go." "All done." " Thanks Claudia." " You're welcome." " Smell that." "Oh, okay, that's not acceptable." " It's Pink Gardenia." "It's a hand cream." "Scot, the kid, he was wearing it last night when he shook my hand." "Now it won't come off." "Two showers it won't come off." " So, who is this kid again?" " Sam's brother's dead ex-girlfriend's son." "Who's my interview again?" "Joe Sakic, about the game last night." " Sakic, that bastard." "I didn't even see the second game." "Barely watched to the end of the first." " Alright, record all hockey games for Eric." "Don't worry, it's gonna do for all dads here." " I'm not a dad." " Okay mommy." "Sam's nice." "He should come around here more." " Can we not talk about Sam, thank you very much." "Then how am I supposed to tell you that he called?" "What?" " I was expecting to see your..." "Your Sam." "I'll be here tomorrow." "Well you might want to warn your..." "Your Sam that the first day might've been too much for Scot." "That's normal though right?" "It's normal to be a little overwhelmed isn't it?" " No, I know overwhelmed." "This is a little bit beyond that." "What's he doing?" " Mumbling." "Or he was a minute ago." " He still won't stand up though." "Hi, I'm Joey Morita!" "I am captain of the safety patrol." "You'd know I was on a safety patrol if I was wearing my safety patrol orange belt." "But we haven't got those in yet." " They're on order Joey." " It creates confusion Ms Patterson." " Don't sass me in front of parents." " No, I'm not a parent and we're leaving." "Scot, stand up." "Stand up Scot." "Scot, stand up." " Sir?" "I think you're gonna have to carry him by his poodle belt." "His..." " I'm dropping out as soon as I can." " That's nice." "Scot put your seatbelt on." "Scot, put your seat..." "Put your seatbelt on Scot." "Scot we..." "My assistant Nula gave me a present to give to you Scot, which you can open if you would just..." " Oh!" "Stickers!" " Put on your seatbelt." " I wanna be Scot's friends sir." " You'll see him tomorrow." " It was a pleasure meeting you." " These are the people in my life now?" "Nobody told me not to!" "I can't be available all the time." "The arbitration comes up at random." " I know." "I know." " It's gonna happen." "Which would be fine Sam if I hadn't mucked my way through this interview." "I'm the new" " You said I could decorate however!" "Well, we're in this together." " He, no." "No we're not." " I hate it here!" " Well puppy dogs stickers don't go on freshly painted antique doors!" "Sam..." "Billy's brother." "Sam, okay, that's all I'm saying." "Billy's your brother not mine." "And what did you say?" "You said my life would not change." "That's what you said, okay." "I didn't want the kid here in the first place." "Oh, long distance." "Hello?" "Little Scoot." "Ola." "I'm in Rio." "Que tal Buddy." "What?" "In South America." "I moved here after me and your mom..." "Shit." "I'm sorry but I wasn't gonna mention your mom." "Shit." "I wasn't gonna say shit." "What the fuck?" "When are you coming to get me?" " Yeah, listen." "That's why I called you bud." "So soon?" "Maybe tomorrow?" "The day after?" "When?" "Listen Scoot, I just wanted to tell you that like your mom's not really gone." "You know?" "Um..." "'Cause you know we're all interconnected in the grand cosmic sense of..." "Hang on one second." "May I help you?" "No, thanks I'm just looking." "Okay." "Um..." "So how was the funeral?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Nicely done Billy." "Will you go after him?" "What Sammy?" "What are you doing?" "I'm talking to Scot." " I don't know what Billy..." "Billy is a..." "He's in..." "Listen, the other stuff..." "Sam yelling about the stickers..." "See he likes things a certain way." "No clothes on the bathroom floor or the bedroom floor." "No clothes on the..." "On the..." "Is that a picture of your mom?" "I'll take it down." "No, no." "Leave it up." "Good, well you probably have some homework." "I already did it." "Eric?" " Yeah." " Can we go shopping?" " No, I don't..." "I don't do shopping." "I don't have to..." "I mean, I get my clothes at work." "Sam buys everything else." "Groceries, everything." "Sam's a shopper." " I'll stay here then." " Okay, good." "Good choice." "# Hark the herald angels sing #" "# Glory to the newborn king #" "# Peace on Earth and-- #" " Sam says you need a new coat but we gotta be back in an hour alright?" " I'm going to look for shoes okay?" "!" " When's Billy coming?" "He almost wasn't." "He wanted to dump Scot back at Child Services until I told him about the insurance money." " Uh-huh, and now?" " He's warming to the idea." "He's probably out spending the insurance money as we speak." " How big of him." " How goes the coat search?" "I don't know." "Ask Boy George." "Call you back." "Scot!" " And now when people come to claim their things, they'll know you took good care of them." " What are you?" " Hey Eric!" "Where have you been?" "We've been looking all over for you." "Don't run away like that." "I'm sorry." " I'm so sorry." " What'd he do?" "Nothing." "About your wife." "My wife?" "To die in a car accident in such a horrible way." "No, no I'm not his dad." "He's Eric." "He's gay." "I'm n..." "I'm not." "No I'm a..." "Him and Sam are married." " We're not even." "We're not even married." " They're just gay together." " You know what actually?" "Here's what we're gonna do." "We're gonna go, thank you very much." "Thanks for all your..." "Time." "Tell me your mother taught you never to talk to strangers." "I didn't." " You told the security guards your life story, then you told the security guards my life story." "Unbelievable!" " He asked me where my mother was and if there was a number he can call to find her." " Okay, look I don't want you..." "Are you?" "Oh don't do that." "Don't cry." "Look, I just don't want you telling people about..." "My private life is private." "I work in sports, okay, and some of the guys I talk to wouldn't be so quick to talk to me if they knew that I was a..." "That I'm a..." "Yeah, I'm glad we had this talk." "Will you just pick something out?" "We can get outta here." "Everything's named after a sports team." "My God." " Or made out of vinyl" " Come with me." "No." "No..." "What is that?" "What about this one?" " Don't you find it a little plain?" " Will you please just try it on?" " Fine." "But I'm telling you, if I don't like this one I am definitely..." "Oh, Eric!" "Look at how it hangs!" " Who's in charge of the sissy?" " Did you just call me a sissy?" " You're Eric McNally." "You played for the Leafs." "You were a great fighter 'til you got injured in that practice." "Now you're on TV, so..." " I'm still a decent fighter." "When you're out in public, watch the twirling okay?" "Will you please just pick a frame?" "Ooooh!" " Hey your sister called." "She wants to know if we can go out Friday." " That'd be a no." "As a matter of fact..." "I'll never be leaving this house again." " The mall was that traumatic?" " Not the mall." " Which one do you think goes better with my coat?" "This one?" "Or this one?" "Morning Eric." "Holy crap." " It's a T, like the one off the end of my name." "Have a pancake." " I used to make them for my mom that way." "If you want I can pour your syrup." " No thanks." "I'm good." "I'm good." "Hi Carla!" " Hi Scot." " Shhhh..." " Hi Scot." " Hi Joey." "I'm here for library class." " You're kind of late for library class." "As student librarian it's my duty to tell you that." " Do you have any books on Brazil?" "Maybe for someone who's going to live there." " Like maybe you?" "Maybe." "Probably, I don't know." " I really like your coat, Scot." " Yeah, me too." " Everything I'm wearing's brand new!" " You know how some people say gay people shouldn't adopt?" "You know that we're recruiting." " Are you?" "'Cause I'd have to tell those people if you were." " Ah-ha-ha." "You see I'm..." "I'm not worried about making Scot gay, I'm worried about him making me..." " Eric, you are gay." "Gay, gay, gay..." " Yeah, thank you." "I know to my friends and family." "Yeah I'm g-etting older I just..." "# Getting older # Ha!" "Aren't we all?" "Those people don't know what it's like to play pro." "You know, the achey back and the achey cheeks" "Hey Greg." "How you doing?" "Eric, how are those interviews coming along?" " Great." "Just great." "Yeah." "Start next week with Corey Flannery." "Hot." "Hot." "Start?" "Hi!" "Can I take your coat?" "Well, you must be Scot." "Hello Sam!" " Hello!" "And that is your uncle Eric." "Do you remember your uncle Eric?" " No." " Can I offer you a drink Joan?" "Um-hm." " The glasses are frosted." " Scot's a better host than I." "You don't know the half of it." "Why don't you take Hank upstairs and show him your room?" "Doesn't Sam need help with the pouring?" "Now, upstairs." "Please." "As far as we know the kid's big on hand cream, Christmas carols, stickers on antique doors, that his mother taught him how to make alphabet pancakes..." "Monsieur." "But not so much about being a boy." "He's been running around here like it's a Halloween parade." "What's he gonna wanna be for Halloween?" " Wow." "You sound like a parent." " Don't." "Don't say that." "Don't say that." "Parents bore people by talking about their children." "Sorry." "And then apologize for it afterwards." " You think you're so smart." " Fear not gentlemen..." "I have more at home." "The Wonder of Boys." " The book we should've given dad." "One, two, three!" "# Oh my gosh I think I need a manicure #" "# The sun I swear #" "# It's bushing out my girly hair #" "# One two three four #" "# I don't know what you ignore not me #" "# Go Mad Dogs!" "#" "Holy shit." " We were trying to do the jump splits." "It's really hard." " No, no, no." "Take all that stuff..." "Take the, whatever that is..." "Take all that stuff off, Scot." " They're just playing, Eric." " This is an inappropriate game." "Take that, take it off, Scot." " Maybe Scot could go as a cheerleader for Halloween." " Joan do you want your son parading around like that?" " It'd be too cold." "I don't have leggings." "Take that stuff off, Scot." "Eric, Scot can dress up however he wants to dress up and play whatever game he wants to play." "It's alright." "No, not like this." "No." " Hey!" " Eric!" "Really, we were only trying to do the splits." "Do you want a little tip Scot?" "Put a pair of washcloths under your feet next time you're in the bathroom." "And then hang onto the counter 'cause you slide down really slowly." "Thanks, that's a good tip." "Sam dressed me up as a hobo." "I don't wanna be a hobo." "Hobo is easy." "Hobo takes no effort." "My mom dresses me up like a hobo every year." " Ow..." "You said this would help." " Life is not all it should be right now." " You know what'd give it sparkle?" " Dmitri Wodlowski, Eric McNally." " Hey, it's good to meet you eh..." "Still slamming them around like you used to?" " No, it's beer league hockey for me." "Enjoy the young legs while you..." "Oh." "Sorry, Dmitri." "So..." " Um, well you know, ever since I was a little boy" "I watched you bank more penalty as a rookie than" "Ha!" "Sorry, excuse me." "Sorry." "You were saying?" " No, it's..." "You were a great fighter." "It's uh..." "Was that Good King Wenceslas?" "I don't think so." "Excuse me." "Hello?" "!" "I'm sorry." "Who?" " Ah, Scot's teacher has asked for a private meeting between you and your Sam at Thursday's open house." "A meeting?" "Already?" " People tend to come around 7." "Ah, terrific." " Oh, I forgot!" "Semi-finals are today." " Tone it down, Scot." " Go Mad Dogs!" "Alright, okay." "I thought Sam sent you to school as a hobo." " I am a hobo." "A pretty hobo." " Where'd you get the makeup?" " It was my mom's." " Just 'cause your mom had makeup doesn't mean you have to wear it, Scot." "I should be able to wear it." "Mrs. Patterson says it's a double-standard." "That boys should be able to wear makeup too, you know!" " Someone ought to take away Ms Patterson's makeup and did you change the ring-tone on my cellphone?" " Don't you find it festive?" " I think Scot might be gay." " What was your first clue?" " No, I know." "But I think he might really be gay." "Gay." "Gay." "The good news:" "I'm pretty sure he was gay before he got here." " How is that good news?" " We're in the clear on this." "Okay, uh..." "Fine, Scot's gay." "Or at least he has gay tendencies." "I knew I was gay when I was his age and I turned out fine." "Yeah Sam, you turned out fine." "Yes, more than fine." "But..." "Did you walk down the hallways of your public school in full blown makeup?" " # Soon be there #" " You have a lovely voice." " Did you prance through the varsity basketball team screaming "Go Panthers", huh?" "I mean, this kid has no idea how to behave." "None." "I'm talking self- preservation here, Sam." "Well, he'll learn." "When?" "When will he learn?" "And you did not see the looks on these kids' faces, Sam." "It was humiliating." "For him or for you?" "'Lo." " Sammy." "Que pasa?" "What's up?" " What's up?" "Scot's up." "When are you coming up to pick him up?" " Give him to me." " Sammy listen." "Right now I got a lot happening right now." "What with the closing of the, the shop and everything." " You have a shop?" "!" " Had a shop." "Dive shop." "But you know, like, Latinos are not big on flippers and shit, so..." "I need more time, okay?" "That's what I need 'cause right now I have some very recent uh, developments, prospects that are happening." "Very, very recent prospects." " Billy." " Sam, you're breaking up." "Can you hear..." "Billy!" "You work." "I work." "Neither of us can be around to supervise him all the time." " I shouldn't have to deal with him at all." " You don't." "I get him up." "I put him to bed and the fridge, you see how fast that thing empties?" "Whose fault is that?" "I didn't want him here in the first place." " The makeup, the jewellery he's wearing is all his mother's." "He's in a phase of mourning." " We can deal with that" "It's a phase you better pull him out of Sam and fast." "You can't pull someone out of a phase that's why they call it a phase." "En!" "No such word as can't." "You cannot pull someone out of a phase?" "No such word as can't." "It's a sports expression." "Sports expression." "Would you like my advice?" " Please." " Okay, so Scot reads a lot." "Right, which is excellent." "But no television?" "Eric, watches television." "He watches the television for all of us." " It's my job." "I work in TV." " Right, I know." "Okay, so here at Stinson school, we like to encourage the children to be active viewers." "One of the positives that television provides is that it presents more uh, traditional role models." "Heroes..." "That the kids can really look up to." " So, you want him to watch more TV?" " To find better role models?" "No." "Not better." "Other." "To add to the two fine ones he already has." "Do you wanna make a complaint?" "'Cause that'll make him popular." " Well, I guess there's always private school." " I thought the idea was to make him less gay." " Stop it you guys." " Hey Scot, you ready to go?" "We're trying to make Carla throw up." "I hardly do it at all anymore!" "Good for you." "Oh hi Andrea, you here for Ms Paul too?" " Ryan's failing everything." " Not gym." " Everything except gym." " Stop!" "You want my advice?" "You're freaks." "Why would I want freak advice?" "When you go in, don't get mad or yell." "Act really sorry that you're not very smart." "She'll probably feel sorry for you." "I know I would." " Fuck it!" "Okay, that's good with the advice, Scot." "Say goodnight." "Let's go." "Goodnight, Carla." "Goodnight, Joey." " Whoa!" "Don't you touch me." " Hey get him off!" " Hey, hey, hey that's enough." " I'm gonna be..." " Oh." "Ah..." "We need to do something." "There's a hierarchy of gestures specifically the affectionate kind." " He's a kid Samuel, not a client." " There's the handshake, the shoulder punch..." "There's a high-five." "Which is really not so much affectionate as nerdy." "Then we get into the hugs." "There's the short hug/pat on the back." "Then there's the long hug which is really the short hug times 3." "So, kissing...?" "What about kissing?" "He wants to know about kissing." "About the hierarchy of kissing, specifically the affectionate kind." "I just want you to understand we're not throwing anything away." "We're putting it away for a little while." " Is that a...?" " It's a toolbox." " For tools, not for cosmetics and fine jewellery." "This is everything?" "I'm not talking to you, either of you." " Hey you know what?" "We can..." "We can..." "Pad the box with sort of a soft cottony cushion." "How 'bout that?" "Sam?" "Hey alright, you know what?" "I'm gonna let you pack this up." "This is all for the best." " I'm gonna trust you on that one." "Hey." "Scot?" "I see you breathing." "Scot you wanna come downstairs and have..." "Some breakfast, make some pancakes or uh..." "Watch some cartoons?" "Saturday morning cartoons?" "I'm going to get groceries." " This doesn't mean I like you again." "Boys shave their faces?" " Yeah." " Do they shave anyplace else?" "###" " Sometimes." " The legular region?" "The legu...?" "Ah, no." "Scot, no." "Well, athletes." "Only athletes." "You're an athlete." " Yeah, which is why I can say don't do it." "It grows back." "Very painfully." "You would not believe how much it itches." "It's not funny." " Kids think I'm gay." " Really?" "That's a shock." "You know what gay is right?" " It means they don't like me." " It doesn't mean that." " They don't like me very much." " Doesn't mean that either." "Look, these kids that say you're gay, they just don't know you." "Okay, gay is a label." "Okay, like short or weird." "Not that you're any of those." " Yeah." "My mom used to say that too." " Good." " How do you keep track of who knows?" " Who knows what?" "Knows you're gay." " I'm not..." "Okay I..." "I am..." "But I'm not just gay." "I mean I am just gay." " Eric?" " What?" " That's processed cheese." " So." "You have to get the real cheese, the pre-sliced kind for sandwiches." " Alright, let's get the pre- sliced kind for sandwiches." " What about back before you were just gay?" "What about it?" "You probably didn't want anybody to know back then either right?" "So you must've faked being not "just gay"." " Yeah so." " What did you do?" " I didn't have to do anything." "I played hockey." "Where you going?" "Where you going?" "!" "Back pass." "Heads up!" "Heads up!" "Oh, there's your pocket picked." "Oh, keep it on the ice!" "You having a good time?" " The skating's not bad." " You know how to skate huh?" "Greg." " Hey." " What are you doing here?" " I'm here with my kid, that's my son Lawrence over there." "There he is right there, yeah." " That's your boy?" " Yeah." "How 'bout you?" "Uh..." "I had a pick-up game." "Pick-up game." " Okay." "So um..." "Nula give you any of that tape we shot?" "Yeah, I watched it." " Questions, comments, praise?" " I mean, uh, the stuff you were doing was kind of unfocused and I don't know, you didn't really get into it with the players, you know?" "Yeah." "What?" "No sure I did." " Look at that kid go." " Which kid?" " Which kid?" "That kid?" " Yeah, you know that kid?" " That kid, with the uh..." "Uh, ah." "Oh." "You okay?" " I didn't mean to do that." " Everybody falls, Scot." "Up." " But the rest is good enough right?" " Good enough for what?" " To play hockey." "He wants to play hockey." " He does, does he?" " Right Scot?" "Come meet the coach." " He ever play peewee before?" " No." "But my mom taught me how to skate." "I can even do the butterfly" " He's good." "Good skater coach." "Eric McNally!" "Wow!" "2000, Stanley Cup semi-finals." "Game 7." "You poked in the winning goal in overtime." "That was me." " I'm Bud Wilson, the coach." " Nice to meet you coach." "You were quite the scrapper 'til you got injured." "Well..." " Now you're on TV." "Didn't know you had a son." "I'm Scot." "He's Eric." "He's g" "Ah we're game coach." "We're game for..." "Anything else you need from us?" "Eric." " Ah, no." " Hey get outta here." " What?" "Ryan Burlington plays on your team?" "He's our star center, why?" "Yeah maybe this isn't such a good idea." "Scot's pretty fresh." "Your team looks pretty advanced." "I don't" "Listen." "I'm looking for an assistant coach." "You'd be here all the time." "Give the boy the attention he needs." "Hey guys..." "How would like a real former Maple Leaf to be your assistant coach?" "Coach, I don't know" " Do the jerseys only come in orange?" " Okay, now you try..." "Whoa, hold on a second." "Whoa, hold on." "See, this is how you grip your stick, okay?" "This guy's over." "You see how my hand is?" "Over." "And then this guy is under like that." "Okay." "And stop holding it so tight." "You're holding it like a bandit." "No one's gonna knock it away from you." "Okay just..." "You don't wanna let the team down right?" "It just takes practice alright." "Eye on the ball and..." "Let 'er rip." "Let 'er rip." "Uh-huh." "Good." "It's not bad." "Just here's the thing..." "Keep your legs slightly bent." "Keep your eye on the ball and let 'er rip!" "Oh!" "Good." "Good." "Good." "That's great." "Okay so look." "Any questions just holler." "Remember it's all in the wrist." " Eric!" "How did you and Sam meet?" "Well when I got injured, Sam took care of me." "He's good at that." "He is." "Yeah." " He'll be happy I'm playing hockey right?" "Oh, yeah." "Absolutely." " Ah no, you should've talked to me before you signed him up." " You know, it all happened so fast and you were in meetings." "Besides it was Scot's idea." "He wanted to." " Really?" " I was as surprised as you." "Turns out he's not a bad skater." "What?" "He's not!" "?" "Julie taught him." "Scot..." "Hey, you wanna come inside?" "I got pizza, pop and on TV women's figureskating." "I can't." "Eric will be disappointed if I can't hit the garage." "It's 'cause you're looking at the ground when you're shooting idiot." "Nula..." "Shut up!" "I'm not gonna kill you." "I took your advice." "I told Ms Paul I was sorry for being stupid and now she's giving me D minuses instead of Fs." "And I'm not even trying." " Congratulations." " Yes, aim high." " You're not hitting the ball 'cause you're trying to smash it." "You gotta flick it first." "See?" "Now you try." "TRY!" "See?" "Scot?" "I think I'll stay outside a little longer." "You know, you're kinda cute." " The longer Scot stays, the greater the attachment." "Think what it's gonna be like when he leaves." "Yeah, don't worry about that." "There's plenty of kids on the team that can replace him." "For Scot, when Scot leaves." " And when's that happening exactly?" "I mean..." "How many times have you called Billy only to hear:" ""I need more time." "I need more time"?" "What?" " Billy called." "And?" " He needs more time." " See." " But only 'til Christmas." "Scot'll play hockey 'til Christmas." "It'll be good for him you know?" "He'll meet some new friends." "Maybe it'll tough him up a little bit." "Plus I'll be there to coach him." " Assistant coach." " Assistant coach." " Wow." "All I ever won was a plaque for attendance once." " What's it like living with 2 gay guys?" " They're not gay." " Ho, they're gay." " They don't sit around kissing or anything." "My mom died." "They're taking care of me." "They're nice though." "Hey Ryan." "Play the Casio?" " Yeah." " Do you know any songs?" "Maybe of the Christmas carol variety?" "Your mom's dead?" " Yeah, there was a car accident and..." "People keep saying she died in a car crash." "She didn't." "Why would they tell me that?" "She took drugs." "A lot of drugs and this one time..." "She took too many." " You're lying." "She never did that." "Cross my heart, hope to die." " Hey." " Hey." "Here I was thinking babysit Scot, it'll be fun." "You know, good time girls night in kind of fun but you didn't tell me Scot's Mr. Hockey now." "Where is he?" "He's down the street." "He found another Mr. Hockey to hang with." " Oh." "I heard some scuffling earlier." "Maybe a couple cries of help." "That was about an hour ago." " What kind did she take?" " She started off taking pills." "She said it messed her up too much." "So she switched to the kind you get in needles." "She used to stick 2 needles this big in between her toes." "That way no one would see the marks." "Not like if they were on her arm." "Did you see her?" "Take a needle?" "Once." " But did you see her dead?" "If you stick the needle in wrong, air bubbles get created into your body." "They go all the way to your heart and your heart explodes and you die." "She died." " I thought you said that..." " Child Services said..." " Hey?" "What kind of conditioner do you use?" " Hey, guys." "What's going on?" " Ryan plays a Casio." " Shut up." "My girlfriend likes it." " Okay Scot, time to go." "Hey listen Scot." "Billy called and um, he's not gonna be making it up here 'til Christmas." " Alright, how do you feel about that?" " Fuck it." "Whatever." "So you're buying me this garter belt to hold up my hockey socks over which I'll pull my girdle?" " Yeah." " Irony noted." "Oh hey Scot." " Hey Joey." " Joey Morita." "I heard you joined the team." "Coach asked me what position I should play." "I told him I don't have any hockey or skating experience so I'm the goalie." " Huh." "That's great." " A little bit tighter please." " Tighter?" " Mm-hm." " How's that?" "###" "Wait up!" "Come on Scot." "The crosswalk's for freaks." "Yeah!" "Woo!" " Wah!" "Oi." "What are we gonna do?" "!" " Back check!" " And..." "Break!" "Back check, back check and go!" "See your man." "Who do you got?" "!" "Alright boys, good game now." " Pass it here." " Pass it up." "Pass it up!" "Keep going!" "Come on stay on you right, stay on your right." "You're good." " Nice hit, Burlington." "Shake it off, Finn." "Watch how Conhill uses his body." "Shields coming around the net." "Gets the shot off." " Yeah and they jammed the slot." " Jammed the slot." " Yeah, they jammed the slot." "Hey Eric, you wanna give me a hand with this?" "No thanks, we're good." "You guys ready and yeah!" " Alright." "Listen up." "Good practice guys." "For your first game Wednesday, I got the starting string." "Ryan, you're centre." "JP, you're coming up the right." "Yes!" "And coming up the left..." "Coming up the left is Scot." "Ha." "What about me?" "Everybody plays." "Don't worry Finn, I'll play you right after Ryan." "Eric?" "Okay so uh..." "Good game." " Yeah!" " Got a big game coming up on Wednesday guys." "Big game." "So uh..." "Well this game you know..." "Remember..." "Not..." "You know hockey isn't the only game we're playing here." "You know, how you behave on the ice is a lot about how you behave." "You guys are..." "I mean I really, the last couple weeks..." "Watching you guys do your you know..." "You guys are..." "Here's the thing guys..." "When I say ziggy you say boom." "Ziggy!" "Boom!" " Ziggy!" " Boom!" " Ziggy!" "Ziggy!" "Ziggy!" " Boom!" "Boom!" "Boom!" " Now get some sleep and Wednesday get ready to kill 'em!" "Yeah!" "Hey for a minute there I thought you were gonna call for a group hug." "I'd rather fight than talk but kill 'em might've been a little..." "I'm gonna..." "You suck!" "You can't pass." "You can't shoot." "And your gay dad's a gay!" "The word's faggot, O'Brian." " Stop fighting." "It's like Eric said or tried to say." "We have to work together as a team." "And he's not my dad and he's not a gay." "Don't ever say that about him again, okay?" "Stop fighting you guys." "Stop fighting you guys!" "Hey Joey, those skates, are they new?" "Uh, kinda new." " Toss me one, I'm gonna try it on." " Hey." " Oh hey." "Get this." "Couple of the Canada Juniors found out I'm assistant coaching and they got a look at Nula so they're actually gonna come to Scot's first game." "You're bringing people right?" " Uh..." "I wasn't planning on it." " No?" "Maybe you should ask Joan." "Or Mildred." " Mildred, cheer hockey?" "Are you kidding me?" "Mildred'd be the loudest one in the stands." "I just think it'd be nice to have people there, you know for Scot." " Ha." "So if I wanna come watch Scot play hockey" "I gotta travel in a pack?" "Come on Sam." " Sam." "Sam!" "What are the police doing at Ryan's house?" "I hate Joey Morita." " Why do you hate Joey Morita so much?" "Joey's your friend." " He's not." "He told his mom that Ryan stole his skates." " Did Ryan steal his skates?" " Yeah." "Well then..." "Ryan's going to juvie and I'm dead." "Did you just say juvie?" "They're going to kick Ryan off the team, aren't they?" "I need him to protect me." " No." "You don't need protection." " What if I get hurt?" "The way you did." "Ryan said that someone rammed you into the boards and broke your shoulder during practice." "That wasn't really much of a break." " In four places." " Four little places." "Ryan also said when you played hockey they used to call you Erica." " Ryan said that?" "Good luck in juvie, Ryan." "That's why I'm dead." "Sit up, Scot." "Now, look at me." "Look at me." "I want you to make a fist, okay?" "Fist." "That's it." "Good." "Alright, now hold it up in front of your face." "That's it." "Like that." "Like that." "You're teaching me to fight?" "I'm teaching you to protect yourself." "Okay?" "And the first thing I want you to remember..." " Protect the face." " Protect the face." "Good game." "Warming up!" " Pick it up!" " Gum, coach?" " Never use it." " Hey, Eric!" " Some friends up there, McNally?" " Yeah, I got a few..." "Holy crap, everybody's up there." "Hey, Eric!" " Alright now, boys." "Game faces!" "Game faces!" " Sam, which one's Scot?" "He's number 25." "Right there." "And to think before yard work he used to ask me for a scrunchie." " Come on, guys!" " Alright now boys!" "Game faces!" "Game faces!" " Come on." "Go Marathon!" "Scot!" "Scot!" "Scot!" "Scot!" "Have a good game, Scot." "You're the best." "Alright, boys, first game, right?" "I know you must be just itching to go at each other." "But keep it clean." "Let's have some fun." "What the hell?" "Isn't he supposed to go after the other goalie?" "You're going the wrong way!" "Hey!" "Don't!" "No!" " Hey McNally, get back here!" "McNally!" " Scot, what are you doing?" "Protect the face, Joey." "But we're best friends!" "Agh!" " Whoa!" " Hey!" "Scot!" "Scot!" "Get off him." "Get off him." " Let me go." "What are you doing?" "You're out of the game." "You're done." "Why?" " Why?" "Why?" "Look!" "Look at him, alright." "You're out of the game." " What do you think you're doing?" " Give me a second here." "Out of the game." "I'm not joking." "Oh my God, you're Eric McNally?" "Yes." "Yes." "I'm Eric..." "Yes, I'm Eric McNally." "I played for the Leafs." "Yeah, I liked to fight." "I got injured." "I'm on TV." "Give me one second here." "Skates off!" " No, it's not fair." " Go." "Go!" "Smooth move, genius." " Sam..." "Sam." " You taught him to fight?" "Well, I taught him to defend himself, yes." "By fighting?" "What was I supposed to do?" "Have him lob vanilla pudding at people?" " Go on." "Go back to your hockey." "I'm taking Scot home." "The hierarchy of affectionate gestures doesn't exactly list high-sticking." "We were a little lost and if it weren't for me this kid would be coming home in full makeup every day." " He'd be happier." " He'd be dead is what he'd be." "Pulverized by some bully's fist in the schoolyard." "You don't remember?" " It's not my fault!" " I am mad at you." "Joey is your friend, right." "You don't do that to friends." "Come here." "You are gonna say, I'm sorry to Joey and Bud and anyone else that needs to hear it." "Let me hear you say it." "I'm sorry." "Again!" "Again!" " I'm sorry." " Okay." "That's enough." "You saw what he did." "I didn't even want to do your stupid hockey!" "I only did it to make you happy and you don't like anything I do." "That's not true." "I hate it here and I hate you!" "Good." "Good because you're coming with me..." "Come here." "You are coming with me and you're gonna say "I'm sorry."" "You're gonna find out the consequences of pulling such a cheap stunt" "Eric, he's not your kid." "Hey, Scot..." " Well, we're gonna miss you, Scot." "Class, why don't we all tell Scot how much we're gonna miss him?" "Say it with me, now." "Ready?" "One, two, three..." " We'll miss you, Scot." " Everybody open their readers to page nine." " Alright, people, one more week." "Now, when you get to Reykjavik you're gonna smell the World Juniors as soon as you get off the plane." "And I'm not talking about the locker room either." "I'm talking about the excitement." "Now, between practice time and game time, it gets really hectic in there which means interview time's going to be very tight." "I need you all to be sharp and I'm gonna be looking for you to be ready with" "That's Scot." "Eric?" " I'll step outside." " I need you to be here." "Right after this call." " That I really need you to take, later." "Unless, of course, you want to skip Reykjavik altogether and cover women's soccer 'til the end of time." "Hello." "Joan, yeah." "I'll..." "I'll call you back." "Are you done?" " Did I tell you I've been taking care of this boy, Scot?" "You met him actually, Greg." "The day at the rink." "He was the kid doing the..." "Twirling." "Anyway uh..." "I've been looking after him." "Except today my brother..." "Well, my so-called brother-in- law Billy coming up from Brazil" "To get him..." "Take him back to Brazil." "I ever tell you when I played pro they used to call me Erica?" "Hey, guys, I thought I'd..." " Hey!" "The hockey hero!" "Give me a hockey handshake there." "Hey." "Eric." " Hey." "Billy." " Right." " Hey, listen, thanks for..." "For taking care of the Scoot there for the past couple of months." "I really appreciate that." " Hm." " Come on." "We were just sitting down having a little something, you know." " Ah, someone's been cooking." " Yeah." "Yeah." "I guess he started whipping stuff up there in his..." "In his little apron there when we came to the door." "All you had was coffee." "Hasn't changed." "Not... not a bit." " I really grew." " Huh?" "What's that?" "I grew." "Can't you tell?" "Cute." "You don't want to change." "Right?" "You don't want to do that." "Trust me." "Scot, why don't you ask Billy what kind of school you're gonna be going to?" " School." "Yeah." "We're gonna check that out when we... when we get back." "Right, mi amigo ?" " Well, yeah." "Because he's already missed September and he shouldn't..." "He shouldn't miss much more." " I'll make a mental note of that." " Yeah." "And don't they speak Portuguese down there?" " I'll make a mental note of that... that too." "Whoa!" "I need a..." "Dying for a smoke." "But don't..." "Don't you do this, okay?" "Especially not in a nice fancy potpourri house like uh..." "Like this here." "I need you tell me where the lawyer is 'cause I gotta do this whole insurance thing, get that taken care of." "Nice meeting you there, Eric." "Thank you." " Scot." " What?" "I'm coming up." "Hey, bud." "Listen, don't worry about Billy, okay?" "Billy means well." "He does." "He's just... he's energetic." "If Billy doesn't want me I'll have to go back to Child Services." "And you guys don't want me and my mom doesn't want me 'cause" "Whoa." "No!" "What happened to your mom was an accident." "She never would have done anything to take herself away from you." "And it's not that we don't want you." "It's just..." "A long time ago your mom decided that Billy would be the one to take care of you." "And Billy is..." "Billy's a good guy." "I like Billy." "You're..." "You're a lucky guy, Scot." "Brazil is gonna be cool." "Like, I mean, not cool." "It's gonna be hot, but it'll be cool." "Alright?" "I should get back to packing." " Hoo..." "Asshole!" " You're right." " I want to punch him in his face." "Maybe you should punch me." "It's my fault, Sam." "I screwed up." "This poor kid." "He's upstairs and he thinks..." "He doesn't know who he is or where he belongs or if he belongs." "He doesn't think that he has..." "He doesn't have Billy, he doesn't have his mom and he thinks he doesn't have us." "And the idea of sending him away in this state is killing me." "I thought..." "Well, what does Scot like?" "Christmas." "I thought..." "What if we give the kid a big going away party in his honour?" "A big..." "Old, gay..." "I mean, gay in a traditional sense, Christmas party." "Ryan." "What's this?" " Scot told me to bring my Casio." "So I did." "I brought my faggoty Casio." " Is "faggoty" a word, Ryan?" " What, am I a dictionary?" " Boots." " Oh God, always with the boots." "You know, for an NHL player, you live in the gayest house in the world." " Hey!" "Mildred's ham." "The true meaning of Christmas." "Where's Scot?" "I have a present." "Give it here." " You won't forget it?" " Will I forget it?" "Guests." "You know what?" "I actually kind of like girls' soccer." " I actually think Greg's downgraded you to croquet." " One mention of the word 'Erica' and" " That had nothing to do with it." "Everyone already knew." "Eric." "Hey, George Junior." "Look who made it out of his room." " My mom slid a map under my bedroom door." "You don't mind?" " Oh no." "No." "I'm glad you're here." "George, this is Nula." "Nula, this is..." "Jesus Christ, George." "All that with my weights?" " Yeah." "Spend a few months living with my mother you find ways to work out aggression." "You're a hockey player, too?" " No." "I have a pretty thorough disdain for sports of any kind." "Really?" " Why don't you go on in and grab a protein shake, power bar or something?" "Take it easy on the boy." " Mr. Latour?" " Joey Morita." "Good on you for coming." "Kick off your boots and follow me." " I'm not sure this is a very good idea, Mr. Latour." "I'm not Mr. La..." "My last name is Mc..." "Follow me." "Hey, gang." " Look, Mr. Latour." " I'm not Mr. Lat" " I'm tinsel." "I sparkle." " And me." "I'm on." "I'm off." "I'm on." "I'm off." " Neat trick." "Scot!" "Hey, Scot, Joey's here." "Joey's here?" "Yeah." "You have something you'd like to say to him?" " Hey." " Hi." " You have something else you'd like to say to him?" " Sorry." " That's okay." "No, guys." "No." "Joey, no." "Don't you want to tell Scot that when he popped you in the beak, it hurt your feelings?" "And you, don't you want to tell Joey what a really good friend of yours he is?" " I bled a lot when you hit me." "The entire crease was red." " We have to tell Carla that." " Yeah." " That's..." "Good job, men." "Okay, everybody, we're just about ready for you." " Hey, Joey." "You can be the angel." "Come here." "You ready?" " Not going to do it." " Why not?" " Billy's gonna think I'm a sissy." " We're all a little sissy around here." "Scot and Joey just buried the hatchet." "Oh, hey, Eric." "Ask Billy about his suit?" "Suit?" "Italian." "I wanted to look nice for when I met Mia's family." "Mia?" "Yeah, go ahead, ask Billy about Mia." "Hi." "I'm Mia." " Eric." " Mia's Billy's fiancé." "Fiancé?" " Mia lives in Paris and Rio and she has family in Rosedale and she's Scot's big surprise." "Which is ironic because Scot was kind of hers." "You forgot to tell us you had a fiancé and you're gonna try and spring that on Scot now?" " Why not?" "I sprang it on Mia and she was thrilled, right?" " He did." "I think it's wonderful." " No, it's not." "No way does wonder work its way into it." " Billy isn't even Scot's dad." " Oh, I know all that." "But Billy says he'll be thrilled to have a new mom." "That's 'cause Billy's a moron." " Mia, can I--?" " Why you gotta be like that?" " Why I got to be like that, right?" "It's Christmas." " Yeah, it's Christmas time." "You're my brother and... and..." " George, take this into the dining room." "Yeah, sure." "Hold on." "Sam's in there with Billy." " Who's Billy?" " He's the goof-bag taking Scot." "Hi." "I'm Mia." "I'm with Billy." "The aforementioned "goof-bag"." " So now you're going to surprise Scot with a new mommy?" "A surprise is a computer or a bike." "I mean, you'd be pushing it to hand the kid a puppy." "For Christ's sake, why didn't you get a on a plane the minute I called you?" "I did!" "Okay, I was gonna." "Sammy, look, I had to find a way to... to work around the..." "The Mia thing, right?" "I had to, you know, kind of step up to her level, you know?" " You mean with Julie's money from the insurance?" " Oh, now you... don't do that." "You're my brother, alright." "But don't get all preachy..." "Dinner's ready now." "I know." "I know." "But George, George, George..." "Sam..." "Yeah, I really need to chill out, right?" " Alright, you guys..." "You guys are lucky." "You missed it." "Apparently, we're lucky." "Lucky how?" "You're gay." "You can't have kids." " And that's lucky because...?" " 'Cause you're not gonna get stuck with somebody else's kid then have to pay for it for the rest of your life." "Billy, you've never let yourself get stuck with anything in your whole life." "You abandoned Scot and Julie." "Whoa I didn't abandon anybody." "She started using again." " You ever try and help her stop?" "You know, look..." "I wasn't gonna get involved, Sammy." "All I kept thinking about was like wouldn't that be weird." "Me being the one in the family to get the AIDS." "What did you say?" "Whoa!" "Sam, Sammy, Sam..." " You know what?" "I'm not" " Boys." "Boys..." " Boys, you might want to stop that just for a bit." "If everybody wants to come to the hallway." " ## We wish you a merry Christmas #" "# We wish you a merry Christmas #" "# We wish you a merry Christmas And a happy New Year #" "# Deck the halls with boughs of holly #" "# Fa la la la la la la la la #" "# Jingle bells / Jingle bells / Jingle all the way #" "Hey!" "# Oh what fun it is to ride in a one -horse open sleigh #" "# Jingle bells / Jingle bells #" "# Jingle all the way #" "Hey!" "# Oh what fun it is to ride #" "# In a one-horse open sleigh #" "# The most wonderful time of the year #" "# With kids jingle-belling and everyone telling to #" "# "Be of good cheer" #" "# It's the most wonderful time of the year #" "# It's the most... ##" " Yeah um..." "This is..." "This is Mia, Scot." "She's going to be your new mom." " Hi." " You didn't notice how much I grew." " What?" " This morning." "I asked." " What?" " I grew a lot." " Yeah, kids grow." "You grew." "It's good." "You didn't notice." "I would." "'Cause you're gonna grow a lot." "You're gonna get taller and your voice is gonna change and your face is gonna change." "It'll all be amazingly different." "But it'll all happen so slowly you won't even notice." "But I'd notice." "I'd notice you." "Every day I'd notice you." " I want to stay with Eric and Sam." "Billy?" " No." "No, no Eric and Sam." "Don't start that, okay?" "I spend a lot of money on a ticket to fly up here to get you" " Billy." " Hang on." "And..." "And, Mia, I've been telling Mia, and she even likes you." "Of course." "I do." "But um, Scot belongs here, Billy." "I'm the hose bag?" "Dickhead is more like it." "Does this mean I can stay?" "Yeah." "Okay." "Come here." " Ow." " Ow." "What the hell?" "This is from Mildred." "I forgot." "Oh!" "It's my mom's charm bracelet." "And, look, it has a new one." "Scot." "One 'T'." "Ta da!" "# Welcome to my Christmas song #" "# I'd like to thank you for the year #" "# So I'll be sending you this Christmas card #" "# To say it's nice to have you here #" "# I'd like to sing about all the things #" "# Your eyes and mind can see #" "# So hop aboard the turntable #" "# Step into Christmas with me yeah #" "# Step into Christmas... #" "# It's the most wonderful time of the year #" "# With the kids jingle-belling #" "# And everyone telling you be of good cheer #" "# It's the most wonderful time of the year #" "# It's the hap-happiest season of all #" "# With those holiday greetings #" "# And gay happy meetings #" "# When friends come to call #" "# It's the hap-happiest season of all #" "# There'll be parties for hosting marshmallows for toasting #" "# And carolling out in the snow #" "# There'll be scary ghost stories and tales of the glories #" "# Of Christmases long long ago #" "# It's the most wonderful time of the year #" "# There'll be much mistletoe-ing #" "# And hearts will be glowing when loved ones are near #" "# It's the most wonderful time of the year #" "# There'll be parties for hosting #" "# Marshmallows for toasting and carolling out in the snow #" "# There'll be scary ghost stories and tales of the glories # # of Christmases long long ago #" "# It's the most wonderful time of the year #" "# There'll be much mistletoe-ing #" "# And hearts will be glowing when loved ones are near #" "# It's the most wonderful time #" "# It's the most wonderful time #" "# It's the most wonderful time of the year #" "Subtitles edited by LeapinLar"