"Kim:" "Five minutes to air." "First team in the studio, please." "Five minutes." "[ Telephone ringing ]" "Well..." "Yes." "We'r e in our underwear." "Ther e's no question about that." "Yes." "We'r e two grown men with important jobs who ar e standing in their underwear." "Let's sing a song." "Seriously." "Yeah." "[ Dialing ]" "Yeah, this is Casey McCall." "We could use a little wardrobe up her e." "[ Indistinct voices ]" "Dave:" "Stand by." "Chris:" "Loading 1 and F/X- 1." "Will:" "Stand by, animation." "Give me Cleveland and sound on 4." "" " What do you think?" "" " About the camera?" "Not just a camera -- the Soshi/Suntac RTS-lll." "" " Sounds like a good camera." "" " It is." "Stephon Marbury's got f our f ouls." "It's got center spot metering, AP and SP exposur e modes, autobracketing, a 5 FPS motor drive " "I'm gonna r ecut the T-wolves." "" " Marbury's got f our f ouls." "" " TTL and spot pr eflash." "" " Sounds like a pr etty good camera." "" " It's top of the line." "" " Do you take pictur es?" "" " No." "" " Have you ever taken pictur es?" "" " No." "" " Do you know anything about cameras?" "" " Not as such, no." "But you'r e thinking about buying one?" "I'm thinking about buying the Soshi/Suntac RTS-lll, yes." "Natalie, we need first team." "We'r e getting ther e." "Dave:" "Five minutes to air." "" " What happened to getting a plan?" "" " I know." "" " Ther e was supposed to be a plan to stop the Dana-Gordon engagement." "" " I know." "" " Is ther e a plan?" "" " No." "You have no plan?" "" " Well, it wasn't f or lack of trying." "" " I think it was." "" " I tried." "" " You didn't." "I tried to come up with a plan." "" " But you didn't." "" " I didn't try?" "" " You didn't come up with a plan." "" " That's right." "" " You have no plan." "" " That's right." "[ Sighs ]" "You think ther e ar e people in the building across the str eet looking at us in our underwear?" "Yes, I do." "Thr ee minutes to VTR." "" " Four minutes live." "" " What's the holdup?" "Something happened to their pants." "" " Both their pants?" "" " Yeah." "" " Was ther e an industrial accident?" "" " Wardrobe's pr essing the pants." "We don't have time." "Kim, get 'em in the studio." "Folks, we'll get them their pants in the first C-br eak." "None of this would be happening if I had the Soshi/Suntac RTS-lll with built-in datapack." "" " Do you understand anything you'r e saying?" "" " No." "" " No plan?" "" " Nope." "" " You know what it might be time f or?" "" " Sadly, I do." "Yeah, it might be time f or me to step in." "Let's go." "We'll get you the pants at the C-br eak." "Okay, but I, f or one, would f eel mor e comf ortable if everyone took their pants off." "He's right." "We'r e a team." "I'll tell you... what r eally makes this outfit work ar e the socks." "I was gonna say." "60 seconds to VTR." "Two minutes live." "Glenn Rice is 6 f or 6 f rom the arc in Portland." "If they win, we call it "Hot in 50."" "" " Chris..." "Chris:" "I'm on it." "I was thinking about the Nishika Super 2000 LS3, but then I figur ed, "No, if I'm doing this, I might as well go whole hog."" "Since you don't know what you'r e doing anyway." "" " Exactly." "" " She had a hard time sleeping last night." "" " And r ead a mail-order catalog." "" " Yes." "For products you know nothing about." "I can tell you that f or $219.95, the Polaris digital exposur e meter is a steal at twice the price." "" " Do you know what it is?" "" " No, but I find myself in the market f or one." "Dave:" "Roll VTR." "Technically, I have a plan." "" " What's the plan?" "" " It's Napoleon's plan." "" " Who's Napoleon?" "" " The 19th-century Fr ench emperor." "" " Cracking wise with me now?" "Thanks." "" " Yes." "" " He had a 2-part plan." "" " What was it?" "First we show up, then we see what happens." "" " That was his plan?" "" " Yep." "" " Against the Russian army?" "" " Yep." " "First we show up, then we see what happens"?" "" " Yep." "" " Almost hard to believe he lost." "" " Yeah." "Alyson, as you can see, Casey and I ar en't wearing any pants, so I think in the inter est of office prof essionalism, you should avert your eyes." "" " Either that or take off your pants." "" " I'll avert my eyes." "Suit yourself, but you should know" "I play squash thr ee times a week and my calves have been called "shapely."" "" " Good show." "" " Good show." "" " Anyway, I'm stepping in." "" " You'r e not stepping in." "" " The discussion's closed." "Dave:" "In 10." "" " Casey, who's been calling your calves "shapely"?" "" " My mom." "Okay." "Don't talk to me f or the r est of the show." "In 3...2..." "Good evening." "From New York City," "I'm Casey McCall alongside Dan Rydell." "Those stories, plus Connie Morton in Chicago, Jack Jankowitz in Hollywood, and Kelly Kirkpatrick in Vegas f or the big weigh-in." "We'r e right her e in midtown Manhattan, and we don't know wher e you ar e, but we know you'r e watching "Sports Night" on CSC, so stick around." "Dave:" "We're out." "Kim:" "Two minutes back." "In the inter est of f ull disclosur e." "Say that again." "In the inter est of f ull disclosur e." "That is so lame." "It's not lame." "It's pr etty lame." "Not only isn't it lame, I think it happens to be right." "Wher eas I think it's simultaneously both wrong and lame." "" " Casey..." "" " It's none of my business." "" " It is your business." "" " It's not." "I disagr ee." "I can live with that." "Elliott..." "Five years, $34 million with the bonus and incentives." "" " Thank you." "" " Hang on a second." "We can diff er." "It's okay with me... as long as you understand that I'm right." "" " You'r e not right." "" " By "right," I meant "honorable."" "It's not right, and it's not honorable." "" " It's the high road." "" " It's the low road." "It's the lowest of roads." "Other roads which would, under normal circumstances, be consider ed low roads would be high r elative to this road." "She's gonna marry him, Casey." "Well, that's entir ely up to her." "But you have inf ormation that she doesn't have." "I graduated Phi Beta Kappa, Danny." "I have inf ormation most people don't have." "It's my cross to bear." "He had an aff air with Sally." "" " Yes." "" " While he was dating Dana." "Did Elliott say $34 million with incentives or plus incentives?" "He slept with Sally while he was seeing Dana, and I think that in the inter est of f ull disclosur e," " she should have this inf ormation." "" " No." "In the inter est of f ull disclosur e -- " " Was it with or pl-- " " With incentives." " 500 at-bats, 20 stolen bases." "" " Slugging percentage?" "Yes." "I'm perf ectly serious." "Why is it wrong to tell her, huh?" "It doesn't seem very manly, does it?" "Do it in a deep voice." "See me waving up her e?" "You know wher e I am?" "" " The high road?" "" " I can see everything f rom up her e." "" " You have no plan?" "" " I have a plan." "" " First you show up, then you see what happens." "" " It worked f or Napoleon." "No, it didn't work f or Napoleon." "Napoleon was def eated at Waterloo and died in exile on the island of Elba!" "Actually, he was murder ed on Elba." "It's just one of the many things I know that most people don't." "Oh, I find myself incr edibly f rustrated with you right now, and I think the best thing f or me to do is to go to the tape library and look at some film on Atlanta's middle r elief." "But bef or e I do that, I'd just like to say that you have no plan." "I can bar ely hear you up her e, Danny." "" " I'm leaving now." "" " I'm okay with that." "" " No plan." "" " Got it." "Goodbye." "" " Hello." "" " Hang on." "" " Okay." "" " What happens if I move Tampa Bay and St. Louis to the 4-block?" "Does something bad happen if I do that?" "Ther e will be 55 seconds of dead air starting at 11:22." "That's pr etty bad." "" " Yeah." "I got this memo about the blood drive." "" " Yeah." "Yeah." "" " I can't do it." "I can't give blood." "" " Okay." "That's fine." "Hey." "" " What do you need f or Phil Jackson?" " 3:45." "" " Can you make it 3:30?" "" " Yeah." "" " Dan..." "" " I can't give blood." "" " Okay." "" " That's all I had to say." "" " Well, you've given me a lot to think about." "Yeah." "" " Hi." "" " Hi." "I'm gonna do something that some people might consider wrong." "" " I am not one of those people." "" " What is it?" "I believe what I do now is right." "I believe it in my guts, and my guts ar e all I have -- my guts and a pleasing personality." "" " Dan..." "" " I've always lived by my guts, Natalie." "Please." "About two months ago," "Gordon spent the night with Sally." "Who's Sally?" "Sally." "Sally?" "Yes." "Now, I should tell you that Casey would pr ef er Dana didn't know, so, armed with the inf ormation I've just given you," "I would ask you to be r esponsible, discr" "Dana!" "Of course, it's entir ely up to you." "[ Indistinct voices ]" "Let me see the Chyron." "Chris:" "They need a second." "It's not that I wouldn't like to." "It's just that I can't." "" " Okay." "" " That's r eally all I have to say." "Check out this strobe f rom BC -- 3-head outlets, symmetrical and asymmetrical power distribution," "2-sync phone jack, style outlets, built-in photocell -- " " Do you know what it does?" "" " I don't even know what it is." "" " So, you'r e gonna get one?" "" " I think I owe it to myself." "Hello." "Good afternoon." "I need to talk to you." "" " I haven't changed my mind." "About the blood." "" " About what?" "Don't worry about it." "Please come with me." "I tell you, they might as well throw in the Dyna-lite" " with the 10-inch r eflector and the 4-way barn-door set." "" " Dana!" "Yeah, I've r eally made up my mind about this." "" " You have to cancel the plans." "" " What plans?" "The marriage plans -- you have to cancel them." "I've been engaged f or two days." "I have no marriage plans." "You have to call off the engagement." "You have to give back the ring." "" " I don't have a ring." "He's giving it to me at lunch." "" " You have to call off lunch." "I am actually pr etty hungry." "" " Dana, seriously." "" " What?" "Gordon slept with Sally a couple of months ago." "Who told you that?" "I can't tell you." "How did this person know?" "" " They know." "I don't know." "" " How do they know?" "Well, I don't believe it." "" " Dana, this person -- " " They got it wrong." "I'll ask him about it at lunch, but they got it wrong." "You think?" "Yeah." "" " You seem calm." "" " Yes." "" " You wouldn't think you'd be this calm." "" " No, you wouldn't think so, would you?" "No." "I'll ask him about it at lunch." "" " Yeah." "" " Dana?" "Yeah, I'll be right ther e." "You r eally wouldn't think I'd be this calm." "[ Horn honking ]" "Dana:" "Look at it." "Gordon:" "Yeah." "" " It's like, "There it is. " " " Yep." "Look." "I'm waving it around and -- wha!" "Ther e's an engagement ring." "Oh, it looks gr eat on you." "" " It's the hardest substance known to man." "" " Yes." "It can cut glass." "Dana, what's on your mind?" "" " What?" "" " What's on your mind?" "You've been strange all through lunch." "Gordon, I've been strange my entir e lif e." "[ Chuckles ] Dana..." "Did you have an aff air with Sally Sasser?" "I don't believe it." "" " Did you?" "" " I don't believe it." "" " Casey told you?" "" " No, as a matter of f act, he didn't." "" " Who told you?" "" " It couldn't be less important." "" " It is important." "" " Well, I think ther e ar e other things which have become mor e important." "" " Dana..." "" " Can I tell you about some of our dessert specials?" "" " No, thank you." "" " No, thanks." "" " The chef has made a pecan pie." "" " Thanks anyway." "One plate with two f orks." "Seriously, I'll kill you." "Give us a second?" "I'm sorry." "It happened during our r eally bad time." "I thought we wer e through." "I r eally did." "Dana, my lif e is flashing in f ront of my eyes." "This is not something to blow this over." "I want to marry you." "Yeah." "Dana, I l" "How would Casey know?" "" " What?" "" " You thought that Casey told me." "How would Casey know?" "It's not important." "" " How would he know?" " lt..." "[ Chuckles ]" "[ Clears throat ]" "This part is f unny, actually." "[ Chuckles ] About a week bef or e I had my liaison with Sally," "Casey...spent the night at her place and left without his shirt." "It was in her closet." "I mistook it f or my shirt." "I was wearing it." "Casey called me on it." "I see." "Dana, Dana... it was nothing." "It would never -- would never happen when we wer e married." "I believe you." "" " Really?" "" " Yes." "See, people think it's the needle, but it's not the needle." "Look at this." "Nobody's on the perimeter." "It's r eally not the needle." "" " One, two, thr ee people collapse on MacElroy." "" " It's this." "That blood is ostensibly going someplace it needs to go." "It's on its way to oxidize something." "I have to r espect that." "" " That's fine." "" " All right, it's a little bit the needle." "Jer emy, can I have the room, please?" "Dana, I know the blood drive is important." "I just can't do it." "" " I could honestly car e less." "Please close the door." "" " Thank you." "Did you sleep with my fiancé and then sleep with my anchor?" "[ Sighs deeply ]" "" " That's an awf ully abrupt and impolite question, Dana." "" " Did you?" "I'm not pr epar ed to stipulate that the answer to that question is any of your business." "Cut the crap, Sally." "This isn't a Noel Coward play." "Nonetheless, I'm not your enemy, and I'm not on your staff, so I'll ask you to r econsider your tone of voice." "I apologize." "He told me you'd broken up, Dana." "You'd just seen us together!" "He said you'd broken up that day." "" " And so that night you go -- " " I think I'll stand her e while you scold me." "I don't like territorial women, Sally!" "Well, I guess we won't be sharing a ride to the prom, then, will we, Dana?" "At a time when this organization was in trouble, you deliberately and maliciously went out of your way -- " " To sleep with your boyf riend and your anchor?" "" " Yes!" "First of all, I didn't have to go very f ar out of my way to do either one, and the f act that you think that my personal lif e" " is an act of aggr ession " " You'r e right." " is so typically you!" "" " You'r e absolutely right." "What?" "[ Voice br eaking ] I'm sorry." "You'r e absolutely right." "[ Crying ] I can't believe I just came in her e and said that to you." "[ Sighs ]" "Oh, ar en't I pathetic?" "No." "Dana, listen to me." "You'r e not mad 'cause I slept with Gordon." "You don't car e that I slept with Gordon." "You'r e mad that I slept with Casey." "" " No." "" " Yes." "" " Why would I -- " " Dana..." "Look, it was -- I mean, it was one night." "Well, i-it was one night with Gordon." "How many nights was it with Casey?" "We've been spending the night together f or about two months." "Oh, I didn't know." "Just late, after work." "l-I don't get out of her e till 3:00, and " "Yeah, but, I mean -- " " Dana..." "" " No, you'r e right." "Of course you'r e right." "It's none of my business." "Dana..." "I should go." "Casey, um..." "doesn't like me that much." "What?" "Casey doesn't like me that much." "I'm sur e you'r e wrong, Sally." "No, I'm not." "I should go." "See ya." "Yeah." "Natalie..." "Yes, Dan?" "I've been thinking, and, in r etrospect," "I'm not sur e it was such a good idea f or me to have told you about Gordon and Dana." "Well, you've got a problem, then, Dan." "You alr eady told Dana?" "Yes, I did, and Dana told Gordon, and Gordon r evealed Casey, and Sally added that it's been going on f or two months." "Well, I hit the jackpot, then, didn't I?" "" " Daniel, don't we have an understanding about sharing inf ormation?" "" " Yes, we do." "" " We have an understanding." "" " I know." "22, over-the-shoulder paintbox, sound 44." "Thank you!" "You knew about Gordon and Sally, and you knew about Casey and Sally," " and someone didn't shar e, did they?" "" " No." "When the dust settles on this thing, you know what you'r e gonna have to get?" "" " Punishment?" "" " A little punishment." "[ Sighs ]" "[ Telephones ringing ]" "At-bats, stolen bases, slugging percentage, total bases, RBls, runs scor ed, walks -- it's a lot of incentive." "I'd try my best." "What?" "Hi." "Hi." "So, listen..." "I don't quite know how to say this, but things have changed since the last time we spoke." "What kind of things?" "Well, you know how you didn't want anyone to know about Gordon and Sally?" "Yeah." "That's not so much the way it is anymor e." "I see." "And people not knowing about you and Sally " "Yeah?" "That's a thing of the past as well." "So her e's what I think we gotta do." "I think we gotta live in the now." "I think we say, "Okay." "This has happened."" "I think we do those things." "" " Really?" "" " Yeah." "I think I beat the crap out of you." "That's not what I would call living in the now." "No, it's a lot mor e like beating the crap out of you." "" " Yeah." "" " You told Dana?" "I told Natalie." "Natalie told Dana." "Oh, boy!" "Who would have thought?" "!" "" " Dana told Gordon." "Dana told Sally." "" " Yes." "Of course, Sally alr eady knew." "" " Danny...shut up." "" " Listen -- you don't get to decide what the high road is, okay?" "You'r e not that guy." "From time to time, I call one on my own." "You'r e a woman, you know that?" "I'm gonna stick you under a hair dryer." "You...ar e a sleazy, slimy, adolescent, oversex ed, overpaid blowhole!" "Which one of us ar e you talking to?" "Get out!" "" " The high road, my f riend -- " " Get out." "Yes?" "Well..." "Since when do I need your permission to have a social lif e?" "Please lower your voice." "I do not want your tawdry tales of office lust inf ecting my newsroom." "" " Casey..." "" " Yeah?" "" " We'd like to hear 'em." "I don't see why you have any right to be upset about this." "Really?" "Then why wer e you keeping it a secr et?" "'Cause I thought you might be upset about this." "Well, I didn't think you had a right to, but I thought you might be upset." "Sally?" "" " Listen, I -- " " Sally?" "" " Hey, let me see the ring." "" " No, you may not see the ring." "" " Okay." "" " I have to go now, Casey." "Wher e ar e you going?" "" " I'll tell you wher e I'm going." "I'm going to buy a camera." "" " Okay." "I'm buying the Soshi/Suntac RTS-lll." "Well, since when do you take pictur es?" "Starting now, immediately, as soon as I learn how to work the camera." "" " Ex cellent." "" " I'm getting the Contax filters and the rubber hood, too." "Okay." "[ Groans ]" "I have to go this way." "Kim:" "Five minutes to air." "First team in the studio, please." "This is happening way too often." "Actually, I think you'r e getting caught in the crossfir e of my punishment." "" " Who's punishing you?" "" " Natalie, f or not telling her sooner." "I think she's withholding our pants." "You'r e a lot of f un to shar e an office with today, you know that?" "" " It's not my best day." "" " No." "Two minutes to VTR." "Three minutes live." "" " Stand by." "" " Stand by, animation." "I'll write a check." "I'll volunteer my time." "I just pr ef er not to give my actual blood." "Natalie, why don't the guys have their pants again?" "Because someone f orgot to shar e." "Kim." "Show me the Metrodome, Chris." "What do you think about film?" "Oh, I'd definitely use some." "I think you'll see a r eal diff er ence." "My point is I don't think I should be judged f or this." "Metrodome is up." "They'r e definitely looking at us f rom across the str eet." "Not at you so much, but they'r e definitely looking at me." "Let's go." "You'll get them in the C-br eak." "" " Casey..." "" " Yep?" "" " Those ar e nice box ers." "" " Shut up." "Dave:" "Roll VTR." "" " Did you know about any of this?" "" " Any of what?" "" " Gordon and Casey and Sally." "" " I don't even know about it now." "" " But you know about sharing?" "And you know about punishment?" "" " Yes." "Yes." "Good." "Good show, everybody." "Hey, guys, Casey's f eeling a little blue." "I think it would r eally pick him up if you complimented his underwear." "" " It's plaid." "" " Yes, it is." "Dave: 30 seconds." "Guys, you'r e gonna have to do the first two blocks without your pants." "Casey, you should f eel right at home." "Thank you." "So, you want to be mad at me," " but secr etly you'r e happy." "" " Danny..." "Secr etly you'r e happy." "The high road's a very happy place, Danny." "Look...it's your plan." "We just showed up." "Now...we see what happens." "Dave:" "In 3...2..." "Good evening." "From New York City," "I'm Casey McCall alongside Dan Rydell." "Those stories, plus we've got a blowout in Philadelphia, a burnout in Daytona, and a bailout in Baton Rouge." "Dan:" "We've got high jinks in Houston and a mountain in Motor City." "All that coming up after this." "You're watching "Sports Night" on CSC, so stick around." "Dave:" "We're out." "Will:" "Two minutes back." "Chris:" "Stand by, 5, 6, and 6A." "Loading F/X-4." "Stand by, animation." "[ Rock music plays ]"