"Previously on The Big C." "I have cancer, Rebecca!" "I will be forever changed." "Promise me you will not tell Sean." "Clearly, Rebecca told you." "You should have told me." "I think we have to stop here." "We've done two rounds, and the tumors are unchanged." "I want a second opinion." "Have you heard of a Dr. Atticus Sherman?" "Paul read about a stage IV woman who was completely cured after seeing him." "I got an appointment with Dr. Sherman!" "Great news!" "♪ It's so hard ♪" "♪ to turn your life over ♪" "♪ step out of your comfort zone ♪" "♪ is this some kind of a joke ♪" "♪ will someone wake me up soon ♪" "♪ and tell me ♪" "♪ this was just a game we played ♪" "♪ called life ♪" "Hey!" "Welcome back!" "You look awesome!" "Oh, shit." "Hey, Mrs. Jamison." "Welcome back." " Thank you, Han." " We're raising money for you." "We heard the treatment didn't work." " You don't need to raise m" " I hope you don't mind." "We used your first name." "We like the alliteration." "Cupcakes..." "Cathy." "And cancer!" "We didn't think about that." "Oops." "On the house." "Seriously, Washington had wooden false teeth." "He didn't even have to brush them." "He would just repaint them." "Oh, hi." "Can I help you?" "This is my class." "Oh!" "Oh..." "Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry." "You must be Cathy." "Well, kids, it looks like my job here is done." " Aw!" " That sucks." "She was only here for three weeks, people." "We'll miss you so much." "You're so sweet!" "Facebook me if you want." "She's a sub." "She's just going back to wherever subs come from." "She's not dying." "Well, uh..." "Good luck to you." "And to you." "I hate her too." "So...they take all the mirrors out of your house or something?" "You don't look good." "Thank you!" "Finally, someone telling the truth." "The interleukin kinda took it out of me." "You could still use some mascara." "Glad you're back." "Me too." "Want a hug?" "Uh..." "No, thanks." "Hey!" "How are you?" "You okay?" "Hey." "You going to lunch?" "Why don't you ask me what you really want to ask me, okay?" "How am I?" "You know, am I totally bummed because my mom has cancer?" "Do I want another fucking cancer cupcake?" "Because they're free for me." "I just wanted to know if you were going to lunch." "Oh, yeah." "Yeah." "Good." "I'll save you a seat, freak." "She had plushy toys all over my desk." "It's like I never existed!" "Come on." "Kids always love the subs." "Oh, God, all those cancer faces." "It's like I'm starring in my own Greek tragedy." "Okay." "Your last round of treatment..." "Within $100 without going over." "1,252." "So sorry, Cathy Jamison." "Correct answer is... 2,047.33!" "That's a lot of cupcakes." "But insurance covers 90%, so please write a check for $204.33." "You know, this is why stage IV people go so fast." "They can't afford to stick around." "Hey." "No more downer talk." "Tomorrow...we are meeting the renowned Dr. Atticus Sherman, and I, for one, am prepared to be wowed." "You be wowed." "I'll be drunk." "Hey!" "Hey!" "I'm going to work." "Have a great day." "Sean, honey, are you just gonna sit in there all day with no pants on?" "Perhaps." "Look..." "I get that the whole "my sister has cancer" thing is a huge bummer--huge." "But you have to start coping a teeny bit." " We're gonna have a baby." " Well, you better hope that baby doesn't have a sister..." "'Cause sisters lie and die." "They make pills, Sean." "You'll feel better." "I probably even have some in my bag right now." "No, thank you, nurse Ratched." "How many times do I have to write stage IV?" "It's depressing." "Sorry." "Didn't mean to eavesdrop." "I used to get so annoyed writing that," "I just started putting "royally f'ed" each time." "You're in a pretty good mood for someone who's royally f'ed." "I got some good news for once." "Dr. Sherman says I'm in great shape." "And I just made it into this terrific melanoma clinical trial he's running." " Oh, I like the sound of that." " Yeah, me too." "It's had remarkable results in Europe." "Ask him about it." "I will." "I hope it's not forward of me, but... here's my number." "In case you ever want to chat or have any questions." "I'm Nadine." "Cathy." "Hi." "This is an angel coin." "It was my good luck charm but..." "I think it's done its trick for me." "Thank you." "Good luck." "Mrs. Jamison?" "How long has it been?" " 27 minutes." " So rude!" "You know, I like that he's late." "It means that he spends a lot of time with his patients." "Why do they always have paintings of women looking out of windows?" "They waiting for us to jump?" "Well, hi, there." "Paul Jamison." " Husband." " Atticus Sherman." "Catherine." "Hello." "Cathy." "Patient." "I figured as much." "Although what's going on there, buddy?" "'Cause there's a heart attack in there with your name on it." "Okay, let's take a look." "Uh-huh." "Okay." "No shortness of breath, muscle weakness?" " Not yet." " Okay, that's good." "Take deep breaths." "Glad you came to see me." "I don't have good feelings about that Doogie Howser" "I talked with on the phone." " Dr. Mauer?" " He sounded like he was 16." " I know, right?" " Did I make a mistake doing the interleukin 2 treatment?" "No." "You went in for the nuclear blast first." "It's a fine choice." "Just didn't work out for you so, you know, onward." "I met one of your patients, Nadine, in the waiting room." "Isn't she a trip?" "She's got more energy than all of us." "She's doing great." "She was telling me about a clinical trial you're doing?" "Yeah." "I'm very excited about the potential with that, especially with the late-stage patients." "Fantastic." "So when do we start that?" "It's all filled up." "There are no more spots." "Seriously?" "Hey, no long faces." "We'll figure something out." "Wait a minute." "So we're...we're done?" "Yeah." "Let me study your scans, and I'll be in touch." " We've been waiting 27 minutes." " Paul." "Here." "Take my card." "Email me with any questions." "Yeah, I do a little amateur magicianing on the side, you know, bend the occasional spoon for the kids." "No chance you can bend the rules for me and get me into that trial?" "Only spoons." "The Great Shermtini, my ass." "He couldn't put one extra person into his trial?" " He said I was fat." " Don't I deserve it" " as much as that other woman?" " You deserve it more" " than that other woman." " Don't say that." " It's true!" " Yeah, you're right." "Nadine's what--she's like 20 years older than I am." "She's already had that extra time." "I want that time!" "Plus he said she was doing great." " She doesn't need the trial." " It's not fair." " It's beyond not fair." " Oh, I shouldn't say that." "Why not?" "Why don't you deserve to be angry about this?" "I am!" "It is absurdly not fair!" "Let's go get a burger!" "I want a burger." " You want a burger?" " I can't." "I've gotta go with Rebecca to her doctor." "Sean's too depressed to do it." "Aw, honey." "Your life is so not fair right now." "I know." "You see that?" "That's the beginnings of fingers." " Wow." " Look at that." "Please tell me it doesn't have webbed feet." " It all looks fine." " The baby daddy is bipolar, so this kid could be a little wacky." " Rebecca." " That's hereditary, right?" "That's not my specialty." "Oh, wow." "What if the baby has it, and I catch it through the umbilical cord?" " That can't happen." " Can we concentrate on the positive here?" "Be happy." "There's so many other things not to be happy about." "She has cancer." " Oh, I'm so sorry." " Is melanoma hereditary?" " I can't believe I never asked!" " Oh, my God!" "All right, enough!" "You're having a child." "This is a miracle on so many levels, so we...we have to celebrate this moment!" "Let's just enjoy this." "You hear that?" "The heartbeat." "Oh, my God!" "Is it a girl?" "It--it sounds like a girl." "It's a little too early to be 100% sure, but based on what I'm seeing and not seeing," "I would guess it's a girl." "It's a girl." "Ohh!" "I'm home!" "Hey." "How was school?" "This was on my locker." "Oh..." "Well..." "That's sweet." "No, mom, look at this." "It's not sweet." "It's creepy." "I mean, ever since school started three weeks ago," "I've been getting more attention than that albino kid." "Okay." "The sparkles are a little creepy." "But you know..." "they care about you and what you're going through." "You're the one with the cancer, mom." "Thanks for reminding me." " Hey, Adam." " Hey, what's up?" "What are you making?" "It smells like ass." "Quinoa and cauliflower." "Cruciferous vegetables are antioxidants." "Ugh!" "Haven't you been punished enough?" "Apparently not." "So, um..." "I was thinking about what you said earlier about staying positive." " Good." " Uh-huh." "And, um, I want you to throw me a baby shower." "Oh, of course." "Oh!" "It'll be so nice in the spring." "We could do it outside." "I was thinking maybe this week." "Oh, come on!" "What, you said so yourself." "We can't wait." "We have to celebrate every good moment." "Rebecca, you're what?" "You're, like, 11 weeks pregnant." "I mean, technically, that isn't even" "Think about the photos." "We're at our peak." "Neither of us is gonna look any better than we do right now." "We have to do this before I get fat and you get all...cancery." "In case I'm too sick to say it then, screw you." "Sean is in a tent, and you're dying." "Having a little fun wouldn't kill us." "Unfortunate use of words." "But I hear you." "Oh, good!" "Great!" "Um..." "So I'll invite a few gals and their daughters." "It doesn't have to be anything fancy, no gifts." "Just hand-me-downs." "That's what Sean would want." "Not that he gives a crap about anything nowadays." "Man, you really did a number on him." "Rebecca, it's complicated." "I think it would help if you apologized for lying and for not telling him for so long." "How about you apologize for telling him what I asked you not to." " What, I-I" " You--you have done enough." "You stay out of this one." "We're all family now, Cath." "Seriously." "You are an awesome aunt." "I thought you might like to know we're having a girl." "What--whoa, whoa, whoa!" "What?" "How do you know that?" "I had my first sonogram today." "And you didn't tell me?" "Jesus!" "First Cathy and now you." "I'm surrounded by she-liars." "Like if I had told you, you would have gone?" "Well, maybe." "Maybe you should have given me the option." "You know what, Sean?" "This is supposed to be a fucking happy time." "I'm fucking pregnant, and I'm not gonna have you fucking bring this down, okay?" "Um...it's my baby too." "How do you expect to be a decent parent when you won't even put on a goddamn pair of pants?" "Cathy, what are you doing?" "Do you think I can give this baby a broken lamp?" " Probably not." " You know," "I've been digging through this crap for the last hour, looking for a present for this baby." "Sorry--fetus." "And God forbid Sean should come out of his tent depression and help." "Honey, you're still recovering from your treatment." "You've got to take it easy." "Oh, my gosh." " Oh, look at this!" " Oh..." "They're my baby clothes my mom saved." "Do you think Adam would want them when he has kids?" "You think Adam will even have kids?" " Bet he will." " Kids should have siblings." "Make sure he has a bunch, okay?" "What, so they can get along like you and Sean?" "Rebecca...thinks this is all my fault." "Well, you know what?" "Fuck Rebecca." "And Sean is a grown-up, okay?" "Look, how about this?" "Perfect." "Yeah, that could work." " Hey, Mrs. J." " What's up, mom?" "Oh, I like you two together." "You'd make cute babies." " Oh..." " Whoa!" "Not now." "Someday." "Are you kidding me?" "Whoa!" " Is that my old big wheel?" " Yeah." "I'm gonna give it to Rebecca for the baby shower." "What?" "You can't give this away." " It's mine." " Ha ha." "Come on, buddy, you're a little big for that, aren't ya?" " Yeah, just a little." " Adam" "No." "No." "No way." "You don't even fit on it anymore." " Totally can." " Fine." "You can ride it, you can keep it." "Ha ha ha." "Yeah." "That's what I thought." "Wow." "I think this cancer might be affecting him more than he thinks." "♪ Girl, are you ready ♪" " Go!" " One..." " Okay..." " Two..." "Three..." "Lift and spread." "Lift and spread." "Rebecca, you're falling behind." "No, I'm not!" "Boom." "Done!" "Oh, my God!" "13 seconds." "Well, at least I have another six months to work on it." "Thank you for helping me with all this." "I love a party, but seriously..." "That lady should not be a mother." "You are really a diaper prodigy." "I was way into babysitting as a kid." "Hey, maybe I should hire you as my nanny." "Why?" "'Cause I'm black?" "Ruby." "What schools are you looking at?" "Ha." "Did my mom say we were here looking at colleges?" "She's taking me to Hazelden." " Rehab?" " Ruby." "You're ruining the party." "Oh, come on, I mean..." "Who here hasn't been to rehab, right?" "Pretty much all of us." "Oh, those are adorable." "They have Cs on them." "I-I..." "I didn't have a lot of time to deal with food." "It's perfect!" "Oh!" "O..." "Okay." "Great." "Because I've decided that I'm gonna name the baby" "Cathy!" "Little Cs for Cathy." "But she's Cathy." "Right!" "Isn't it awesome?" " No." " W-wait." "So this baby will be named Cathy Tolke" " like my mom was Cathy Tolke?" " Is Cathy Tolke." "I'm not dead yet." "Cathy has cancer." "I mean, not my Cathy!" "That Cathy." "See?" "It's already confusing." "Okay, look...maybe someone else healthy would be excited about this, but I'm sorry, I'm not." "Out of all of the millions of names out there, you go for mine?" "I thought you would be touched." "It's an homage." "Excuse me." "You're welcome." "Jesus." "How 'bout, how 'bout, you know, Monica?" "Or Lydia." "Or Hannah." "How 'bout Hannah?" "Monica was the name of my third grade teacher." " I hate Monica." " Lavonda, Beatrice, Rose." "Susie." "How about Monique?" "Or maybe one of the flower names." " Like lilac?" " Okay." "Okay." "So this whole Cathy Tolke thing is gonna be a big problem when she's growing up across the street and we start getting each other's mail and phone calls and such, 'cause I might be around for a while." "It was Dr. Sherman's office." "He added a spot for me in the clinical trial." "Oh..." "Yes!" "That's so great!" "Whoo!" "Um..." "I'm just gonna get some soda." "That's cool." "Use it or lose it." "Sorry about your mom and the whole cancer shit." "Yeah, well, sorry about rehab." "Guess we're both fucked." "Yeah." "You wanna feel better?" "Oh." "No, I don't smoke, so..." "I'm just gonna go upstairs." "That's not what I meant." "Oh." "Ha." "I have a girlfriend." "So do I." "Wait--ha." "Hello." "This is Cathy Jamison calling." "Is Nadine there?" "Oh!" "Hi." "I met your mom last week at Dr. Sherman's office, and I was" "Oh." "Oh, my God." "I-I'm..." "I'm so sorry, I" "Nadine died." " Who?" " The woman." "Paul, the coin woman." "I called her to tell her that I got into the trial," " and" " Man!" "She looked so alive." "Well, now she's not." "He said she was doing so great." "She died?" "Just like that?" "That is royally fucked." "She gave me her lucky coin, and then she died." "Cathy, it's not your fault." "Oh, my God!" "That's why there was an extra spot for me." "I climbed over a dead woman's body to get into that trial!" "Whoa!" "I am not gonna play that game with you, honey." "You got into the trial 'cause you deserve to get into the trial." "What, and she didn't?" "I'm not saying she deserved to die, Cathy, but you deserve a chance to live" " just like she did." " Adam." "Adam." "Did something happen in the basement yesterday?" "What?" "No." "I mean..." "No." "Your mom thinks that Ruby was smoking pot down there." "Oh, yeah?" "Yeah." "I-I don't know." "Maybe." "She was weird." "She was." "And boom!" "There's your goldfish." "Oh!" "Wait a minute!" "What's this?" "What are you doing with that in your head?" "Let's put it back in." "Oh, it came out the other side." "How did I do that?" "Look at this." "Dr. Sherman." "I'm performing here." "Well, your office told me you were up here." "I just-- I need a minute." "Uh..." "This is my assistant." "This is Mrs. Jamison!" "Oh ho!" "Look at that." "Very good." "She's good, isn't she?" "It was Nadine's space, wasn't it?" "I replaced Nadine." "The Great Shermtini is gonna take a five-minute break." "Aw!" "You told me you added a slot." "Now, why wouldn't you tell me the truth?" "Why wouldn't you tell me she died?" "I don't discuss other patients." "We're not patients." "We're people." "But I don't know how you would know that, since you only seem to spend two minutes with each of us." "I know you're a 43-year-old woman presenting with advanced metastatic disease." "I know you have a small tumor in the soft tissue behind your kidney which the last scans didn't show." "I know you're very sick, and I think this trial could save your life." "How can I trust you?" "You told a dying woman that she was great." "Why?" "To make her feel better?" "I don't wanna feel better." "I wanna be better." "What would you like to hear, Mrs. Jamison?" "If you're gonna be my doctor--if..." "You're going to be my doctor," "I need you always, always have to be honest with me." "You want honesty?" "People die." "Before trials, during trials." "Half these kids are not gonna make it outta here." "And as groundbreaking as I expect this trial to be," "I'm still gonna lose patients." "We'll learn something from every death, so when the next patient comes through, maybe they won't suffer as much." "Maybe they'll live longer." "But make no bones about it." "We all get replaced." "I'm gonna die." "And some other doctor will come through here and replace me." "Probably not your Doogie Howser but, you know, still..." "Look, I'm not going to beg you to do this trial." "If you're too shortsighted to not take the chance just because you don't like my bedside manner, trust me--there are hundreds of people who are waiting to replace you." "That's the truth." "Rebecca." "I'm wearing pants." " Oh, uh" " Hi." "Hi." "This is for Rebecca and the baby." "Um..." "O-okay." "Thanks." "I'm sorry I lied to you." "And I'm sorry if my being sick is hard for you." "It's really hard for me too." "It has hands." "She has little hands." "Yeah." "I wanna be better." "Then take the meds, Sean." "Oh..." "You know what they do to me, Cath." "They--they dull me out." "They make me all normal." "I-I wear button-down shirts." " I watch TV." " Yeah." "Sometimes you do." "I-I don't want numb Sean to replace fun Sean." "You think you're having fun right now?" "Well..." "The tent's pretty cool." "Do you have any idea how jealous I am of you?" "Here." "You can take a pill and spend all the time you want with your kid." "I can't." "How the hell can you not fight to be better when that's all I'm doing right now?" "You could make a good dad, Sean." "A really good dad." "I'm--I'm sorry you're sick." "Yeah, well," "I'm starting this new clinical trial, so God only knows how sick I'm gonna be." "And hey, no matter what, you'll always have a little Cathy Tolke in your life." "Rebecca hasn't told you." "Told me what?" "She wants to name the baby Cathy." " No." " Oh, yeah." "Now, that...is insane." "Yeah, right?" "I mean, who-- who would name their baby Cathy?" " Oh..." " What kind of parents would do that to a child?"