"If I die in a combat zone, box me up and ship me home." "Still going hunting with the morons?" "If we're eating what we kill, that's your last supper." "Well, if I don't shoot anything, I'll just eat Quincy's dog." "Oh, don't listen to those animals, Wolfgang." "Any buds?" "Doses? "X"?" "Get a job." "Got one." " Were you in the shit?" " Did you kill anybody?" "Three... that I saw die." "Semper fi." "You ever see anybody die?" "One, two, three, go!" "He can't." "This is a guys' weekend." "Bros, not hos." "Man, just 'cause Jeanette left you doesn't mean everybody has to be single." "She didn't leave me." "Our priorities changed." "Right." "She wanted to screw the night crew at Walmart." "Costco, asshole." "There's a difference." "Yeah, because at Costco when you buy a case of condoms, you get a coupon to fuck Jeanette." "Never trust someone who buys in bulk." "Thanks for being such good friends, but John won't let me down." "Fifty bucks" " Brooks is coming." "What do you think, Q-sinart?" "Aw, I don't care." "I got Wolfgang." "Good comparison." "That's my boy John." "And that's his girl." "Hey, Brooks, how's the art hangin'?" "Apparently, it's not the kind of work buyers want to see on their walls." "All right, you boys ready to see how the other half lives?" "50 times one." "And I hope you didn't give all your singles to that vet." "Don't worry." "I'm taking it out of part of your gas money." "Perfect place to bury a bitch." "I don't know what this shitty music is." "It's Area Weapons." "It's Area Weapons." "Laura wants to know if you hunted as a kid." " Yeah, with my uncle." " Shit." "Must be out of range." "Too bad." "It was such an interesting conversation." "It beats talking to you." "So what's your new series of paintings about again?" "The depravities of war." " You're pumpin', Q-bone." " Yeah." "Wolfie needs some water anyway." " I need to get directions." " To your own ranch?" "My uncle's." "I haven't been here since I was 16." "Things change." "How you doin' today, hoss?" "Better than some." "We're lookin' for the Hickman ranch." "What do you bright-lighters want with that place?" " I'm John Hickman, sir." " Hey, John." "Haven't seen your face in a while." "You been takin' your turn over there, fightin' in the desert?" " Not my war, sir." " Well, maybe not." "But leap in." "Way things are goin', one's gonna find you." "Haven't sold many of these since your uncle" "Well, it's a damn shame." "So how do we get there?" "You know the Tibbs place?" "You hike out past where Fish Rock Road dead-ends" "Can you draw us a map?" "You're right here." "From Jimmy Creek, go around Indian Hill... to the flat near the curve." "Gonna find what you're lookin' for tucked right back in there." "Tell me somethin'." "Did you come to hunt him?" "That kid, he comes from a long line of warriors." "His daddy and his uncle, they got silver stars in Vietnam." " I heard another uncle didn't make it back." "Real heroes often don't." "One man's heroism is another family's tragedy." "Did you get that one?" "Yeah, buddy." "All 320 pounds of him." "What's the biggest wild hog you ever heard of around here?" "Well, they say the Ripper weighs 3,000 pounds." "Bullshit." "Yeah?" "Who killed him?" "Nobody." "He's still out there." " Kill it." " Bloodthirsty." " Just kill the fuckin' thing." " Relax." "Go on, little guy." "Not there." "What the fuck?" "Nice shot, Robin Hood." "I want the rattle." "You hunters have no respect." "You see this Gurkha blade?" "It can cut through a llama's head with one whack." "But it's never drawn without tasting' blood." "Same with this gun." "Take a bath, hippie." "You have a nice visit in these parts," "Negro." "What are you waiting for, Ben?" "I can't believe you pulled the magnum out on that freak." "What if he calls the police?" "Threatening us with a machete?" "Did you see that dirt-head cut himself?" "Yeah, and I saw "Kid Crossbow" kill that snake." "Thwack!" " What if he follows us, John?" " I hope he does." "I'll take his head home as a trophy." "He's not following us." "All right?" "No cops are gonna come." "Shit like this happens here all the time." "Ben, put that fucking gun away before it goes off." "I should have stayed in the city." "I'm with Brooks." "Pull up your panty hose, Q-nut." "There's no turnin' back." "Why don't we switch spots?" "Now you're supposed to stick it 'tween her garter, Q-tip." "Uhh!" "How much farther?" "There's the map." " I think we're up near her left nipple." " No, actually, we're, uh-- we're down near her pubes." "You know, there's a reason you guys don't have girlfriends." "We can drop you and Brooks off here if you don't wanna hunt." "We could ask them for directions." "I know where we are now." " I wonder who got those pigs." " Big Bad Wolf." ""Death walks on all fours."" " Your uncle was quite a hunter." " Some of these are mine." " That was a long time ago." "You fuckin' pussy!" "That's a possum." "I thought it was a rat." "Good boar, R.D. This is great." "You should have stewed up that possum." "Then we could have invited John's neighbors." "Do you think they did that to your uncle's place?" "Wasn't them." "What happened to your uncle?" "Became an alcoholic." " What else is there to do out here?" " Hunt hogs." " Death walks on all fours." " That's bullshit." "The store owner said there's a 3,000-pound pig rooting out here" "A real "Hogzilla."" "Pigs don't get that big, do they?" "Domestics can." "As I kid I saw one at the county fair that was 2,000 pounds." "But wild hogs-- they don't get much bigger than 350." "And tusks?" "Like razor wire." "County fair." "There was a rodeo too." "It was fun." "Yeah?" "I don't know." "There's something I don't trust about white people with ropes." "What do people do out here for a living?" "Used to be a toxic waste dump." "Now they're hoping for a prison." "In the meantime, these hills are filled with marijuana." "Really?" "Pot's the biggest cash crop in California." "Fuck hunting." "Let's get high." "At least I've been deer hunting." "I saw that piddly rack in your garage." "We're not hunting' Bambi." "What have you ever shot besides targets at the gun club?" "At least I didn't stand by when my friend was in trouble." "All right, double or nothing on" "You done, boy?" "Let's get back to our tent... before the bogeyman gets us." "How come you never really talk about your uncle?" "What is there to say?" "When my father died, he sort of took over that role." "Taught me how to be a man." "Shoot straight." "We're living together a year." "When you pulled that crossbow out of the closet" "I didn't even know you were a hunter." "I'm not anymore." "There's something in you that comes alive when you're out there... putting the sneak on your prey." "Tracking." "You have a purpose." "A well-defined objective." "A mission to assert your authority." "Most incredible rush, getting an animal in your sights." "Knowing that it's them and not you-- there's an intense power... knowing that you're gonna spill its blood-- that you're gonna take... this living, breathing thing's life." "There's just something so natural... about the way blood flows," "reflex of your finger." "It can't be denied." "Total control." "Yeah." "John." "Do you hear something?" "Hey there, John." "Ricky said you came back." "I didn't know you get takeout this far from the city." " Who the fuck are you?" " Oh, she's got a mouth on her." "What are you two doin' here?" "Huntin'." "Time to get to Big Wallow." "Right, John?" "Nice guns." "What is this, an after-school special?" "Well, if we wanna shoot more than blue jays, we better get a move on." "Who the hell are you?" "Old friends." "Mmm." "How do you guys like your coffee?" "Hot." " You got any soda?" " In the cooler." "You ain't a dog." "You're a pet." "They said they know where the hogs are." "John needs a goddamn map to find his uncle's ranch." "I know where I am now." "We came here to hunt." "Right, Wayne?" "This is supposed to be our weekend." "Come on, didn't you say these guys are your friends, John?" "Once upon a time." "What about us?" "Fuck it." "Let's go." "Giddyup." "I can handle them." "How do you guys like your foam?" "What are you, some kinda sway boy?" "No." "I was raised to be a saucier." "A great saucier!" "You got any sugar?" "Eye-opener?" "This is my kinda foam." "Got any of that other stuff?" "Come on, Starbucks." " Let's get a hunt on." " We're all going?" "Boars... will only come at you once, unless they're cornered." "Then they'll keep on comin'." "Now, Ricky, he got tossed by a full-tusk devil once." "Ten feet." "Air to ass." "Then it kissed him." "Is that how you got that scar?" "John gave him that one." "They were playin' mumbly-peg." "Ricky's buck knife cut John in the foot, so he just slashed it out." "Things even up." " I got this one in Fallujah." " Damn!" "I'll bet you unloaded a few clips on those towel-heads." "It ain't no video game over there." "This here's where that hog stuck me." "But I got the last laugh." "Why are we stopping?" "Showin' off old wounds." "Oh, too much caffeine." "Who made this path?" "Shh." "You wanna see what the round we were usin' in Iraq can do?" "What the fuck are you doing?" "What I was trained to do." "Sweet." "You didn't have to do that." "How do you know?" "There's rooting'." "Where?" " Pigs did this?" " Probably in about 10 minutes." "Whoo!" "It looks like a rototiller." "Look at that." "Some folks ain't got no respect." "Maybe they're talkin' about "Pig-foot." Shut the fuck up, Ben." "Whoa." "Touchy." "All right, you know, let's stop right here." "And see who else knows how to shoot." "Bring it on." "Boys and their guns." "Looks like an N.R.A. convention." "Hey, we passed some old oaks." "There might be mushrooms back on the trail." "Wanna go see?" "I'll stay here at the O.K. Corral." "So who's first?" "I'll go." "I think you got within 20 yards on that last one." "You brought a kill gun." "And kill guns are for pussies." "We got our own way of finishing 'em off up here." "Right, John?" "Or ain't that the way your uncle did it?" "He got finished." "What are you gonna do, John?" "You gonna cut me?" "I ain't 12 no more." "You two can tangle after we whomp us a pig." "You're up." "We know John can shoot." "What is it, Wolfie?" "Oh, God." "Close enough." "Just make sure it's on safety till we see something." "Can I squeeze off a few rounds?" "You're not usin' my gun." "I wouldn't want to." "Who knows if the sight's set right?" "Do you mind?" "You can pull my trigger any time." "Savage 308." "Cowboy lever action." "Holds five rounds." "That's luck." "Calamity Jane!" "Whoo!" "Where'd you learn how to shoot?" "You're not the only one with an uncle." "I just saw some strange shit." "Three huge, giant, half-eaten birds." " Like a turkey vulture?" " Like a fucking ostrich." " Was it kinda goony lookin'?" " Goony looking?" "I don't know." "He was torn into tartare." "Emus." "Emus?" "Hippies were raising' 'em for meat." "They found out there's more money in marijuana." "I saw something else too." "That hippie freak from the gas station." " Where?" " By the dead birds." "Sure that ain't somethin' else talkin'?" " What would he be doing out here?" " What would tear apart an emu?" "They were right here." "Mountain lions will carry off their prey." "Three at once?" "Them emus are as fast as cheetahs." "Looks like they were tied up." "Mountain lions?" "There's bears around here too." "There's a lot of crazy shit in these woods." "This is like the Bataan Death March." "My shoulder's totally chafed." "How you holdin' up?" "Fine." "Nature's StairMaster." "Some say the best part of hunting is hiking." "The best part of hunting is gettin' back in the car and goin' home." "Hey!" "I found some fresh scat." "What is it?" "It's your dog's." "It's Wolfgang's puck." "Wind's all over the place." "Pigs'll smell us if they're closing on Big Wallow now." "That storm's gonna push the wind straight at us." "He's right." "We could hit the wallow." "The hogs won't catch our scent." "So what are we gonna do?" "Wait for the storm." "Wear this." "I owed ya for them beers." "You look like a homeless person." "You look like Rambo's personal fuck bitch." "Can I get a swig of that?" "I don't think drinking's gonna help your aim." "I thought you said you used to drink with your uncle." "I said my uncle used to drink." "No more than any other hog hunter." " Except it killed him." " It wasn't the whiskey that killed him." "It was the Ripper." "That giant hog the store owner was talking about?" "My uncle went on a bender, walked out into the woods... and shot himself." "No man intent on killin' himself would use a bow-- unless he had to." " And he was being eaten alive." " That's trailer trash bullshit." "That ain't exactly a nice thing to say." "You got Ricky all riled up." "My uncle drank a quart of whiskey a day." "Huntin' for weeks on end." "Still fighting'." " How would you know?" "You never visited." " Because I know." "There's no such thing as a Ripper." "Or Hogzilla." "Or whatever else the fuck you wanna call it." "You callin' me ignorant?" "I ain't calling' you anything." "Let's go kill ourselves a legend." "Quit playin' with your gun." "I'm just checking it." "You know, that's what Pee-wee Herman said." "Your I.Q. should be bigger than the caliber of your gun, Ben." "I don't like this." "I do." "Yeah?" "You didn't see those dead birds." "Did you cry when your goldfish died too, Q-tip?" "Oh, go ahead and laugh." "What were those ropes?" "That wasn't a mountain lion." "What do you know about mountain lions?" "I know the puma, the cougar, the panther, felis concolor." "But you never hunted." "Yeah?" "Well, I've spent hours watching the Nature Channel... while shelling fava beans." "So what?" "Whatever killed those birds is a better hunter than either one of you two, and he had help." "Look." "If it flies, it dies." "Oh, yeah." "Emus don't fly, idiot." "Not dead ones." "Shh!" "Big Wallow's on the other side." "Pigs can hardly see anything at all, but they got a great sense of smell and good hearing." "Why are they wearing cammo?" "Oh, whoops." "I didn't see you." " Q-dick." " Elmer Fudd." "Stay close." "I wish I had a gun." "We'll flush the perimeter." "Sometimes hogs lay low in brush and tall grass." "Partridge." "Them's good eatin'." "Oh, God!" "Whoa." "Save it for the hogs." "Or maybe this place is hunted out." "We've never had problems with poachers-- present company excepted." "Since your uncle died no one's been up here." " Including pigs?" " Hogs are here." "Pigs did that?" "They rub up against them scratching their backs." "All right, then what did that?" "The Ripper." "No hog's that tall." "Your uncle said he saw rubbings like that." "John, I wanna go home." "Me too." "Start walking then." "What the hell is he doin'?" "It's called a "California hook."" "If he gets in close," "I wanna see that big pig bleed." "Like I said, kill guns are for pussies." "Now, what's he got?" "A bird call?" "Makes the sound of a piglet in distress." "Any boars in the area will come charging." " Fuckin'" "A." " Dig in." "I'm callin' that sucker home." " What are we supposed to do?" " Stay behind me." "And hold on to that fuckin' dog." " I want a gun." " Jiggidy jog." "I definitely want a fucking gun." "My knee!" "Wolfgang!" "My knee!" "Wolfgang!" "You made me do it." " Wolfgang!" " Are you all right?" " It took off my fucking knee!" " We've gotta stop the bleeding." "Oh, kill it." "Kill it!" "Your head... on my wall." "Better than aspirin." "Wolfie!" "Wolfgang!" "Let's rest here for a few minutes, and then we'll get back to camp." "Here, boy!" "I'm going to look for him." "Don't go too far." "Here." "Take this." "I thought you was a cook." "You must have cut meat." "Meat." "Not dead animals." "You'd do good to find that dog." "He's got more hunter in him than I gave him credit for." "It ain't got no armor." "What do you mean?" "It should be an armor plate covering his shoulders." "Cartilage, sometimes an inch thick." "Some collect shrapnel, like a bulletproof vest." "Like that one I just popped over there?" "It didn't even leave no blood trail." "I've had bullets bounce off hogs when I wasn't close enough." " You need a big bullet." " So why doesn't this one have armor?" "Except for its tusks and its size, this looks like a piglet." "Wolfgang!" "Here, boy!" "Wolfie, is that you?" "Hey, Brooks." "You got a camera on your cell phone?" "Take my picture." "Fuck you." "Hey." "You wanna see how this is done?" "Get in close." "I wouldn't." "That's so foul." "You better get used to it." "You got to dress what you kill." "And you have to shoot before you kill." "Little dick big gun didn't fire a shot." "I forgot to cock." "Goddamn!" "Look at this shit." "Shh." "What is it?" "It don't sound like a hog." "It's the other white meat." "You didn't find Wolfgang?" "No, but I found about a thousand marijuana plants." " Where?" " A quarter a mile that way." "I'm calling bullshit." "What's this?" "Sweet basil?" "Holy shit." "This stuff is killer." " Could you find that place again?" " Oh, you couldn't miss it." "Is it on your uncle's property?" " Did you cross over a fence?" " No." "I wouldn't mind filling up a bag." "You know how much that stuff goes for in the city?" "Four grand a pound." "I don't care what it's worth." "I don't want that shit on my property." " We should at least go check it out." " Yeah." "I wouldn't mind... taking another look for Wolfgang, with everybody." "Let's go then." " Hey, buddy, how you doing?" " Better than him." "You hang in there, okay?" "Let's make this quick." "I don't believe you're leaving your friend." "We're not." "You're staying with him." "Don't forget to bring your big gun." "Your girl's got an attitude." "You're telling me." "Don't talk about Brooks." "Shit." "We used to talk about girls." "Remember when you had a crush on Darlene?" "Darlene?" "My cousin." "You used to bring her candy bars." "Is there much family resemblance?" "No." "She's got red on the head like a dick on a dog." "Just like old times." "Isn't old times." "You know, uh, Ben didn't want you coming on this trip." "I gathered that." "That fucker" " I mean, he's never hunted a day in his life." "And he's always talking shit, you know?" "He's never done anything." "You know, I got him his fucking job." "You should try to relax." "Thanks, Brooks." "Don't mention it." "It could be them coming back." "Holy high times!" "This is a professional operation." "So are we." "Oh, that's a lot of raincoats." "That's food for the year, a new truck." "Look." "Our friend's been here." "Okay, we need to get back and call the authorities." "Bullshit." "You think we came out here to hunt hogs... or to wish you a happy homecoming?" " Ricky, quit cutting that dope." " Shit, you gonna make me?" "You gonna stop what you're doing now." "My ass." "Now we're even." "Ricky, put the knife down." "He was gonna shoot you." "You killed my brother." "My family's gonna make you pay." "You're all gonna die." "You" " You think they got another hog?" "Sounded like Ben's magnum." "Well, then they didn't get another hog." "Give me your rifle." "Don't shoot." "Don't shoot." " Ricky's dead." " Ben shot Ricky." " What?" " He was gonna kill you." "Jake went to get his clan." "We've got to get out of here fast." "Can you move?" "You and I can run back to your uncle's and get help." "There's no phone." "We'll take the S.U.V. to town." "Okay, we need to make a stretcher for Wayne, and get back to my uncle's as best we can." " What if the hillbillies get there first?" " We are wasting time." "Give me one of those guns." "Do you have any more ammo?" "We left our bags." "What about yours?" "Come on." "You've got four shots." "Come on, Q. We got to hustle." "Wolfgang!" "You yell for that dog again, I'll kill you myself." " I need to find him." " I don't want them to find us." "Oh!" "Are we even going the right way?" "I think we passed the same tree twice." "What tree?" "Uh, what do we use for the middle that'll hold?" "Ricky and Jake's canvas bags would be perfect." "Well, how far are they?" "Pretty close." "I don't think we'll have enough time." "We'll gain time if we make a scoop stretcher." "I think there's extra ammo in those bags too." "Don't leave me." "You'll be okay." "You got your rifle." "Then run fast." "Oh, can we slow down?" "You don't know where you're going." "Any road will get you there." "I know where I'm going." "Oh!" "Oh!" "Oh, just give me a second." "Do you know how to use that thing?" "You squeeze the trigger, right?" "Yeah." "That's about it." "We're not gonna have to shoot anybody." "We already have shot somebody." "John?" "Yeah?" "Next time you want a wildlife adventure, could we just fuck in the bushes at Golden Gate Park?" "Oh, fuck you." "I ain't dead yet." "Unbelievable." "And that's not all." "Ricky's gone." "What do you mean?" "His body was here and he was dead." "And that sign-- Somebody put it back up." "John?" "Brooks?" "Who's there?" "What is it?" "Looks like a cow or a horse." "But it's hard to tell in this muck." "Wolfie!" "Get your guns." "What the hell's the matter, Jake?" "They killed Ricky." "God, no!" "Who done it?" "Who done it?" "John Hickman and his city friends!" "Son of a bitch!" "Son of a bitch!" "Get your shit, boys!" "Get your shit, boys!" "Darlene, get the dogs." "Darlene, shut the fuck up and get the goddamn dogs!" "What's going on?" "Those are horse tracks." "Maybe somebody carried him out of here." "He would've waited for us." "What was that gunshot?" "Other hunters?" "That's what I'm afraid of." "Yeehaw!" "Whoo!" "I told you." "I knew where I was going." "Hey, Wolfie." "Wolfie, come here, boy." "We don't have time for this." "Oh, God!" "Who would do this to a poor, defenseless dog?" "The same inbreds who are gonna do it to us." "They've locked us in!" "We got to get out of here!" "This is it!" "Climb through!" "I didn't do anything." "You killed my dog!" "Motherfucker." "Do it." "Shoot me." "Kill guns are for pussies." "Oh, hell." "Oh, hell." "Let us pray, boys." ""Vengeance is mine." So saith the Lord." "Please don't kill me." "I'm not a hunter." "You're right." "You're the hunted." "Wow." "Second bite of Rocky Road." "You really know how to woo a girl." "We're not gonna find Wayne." "Not alive." "I think we should go back to Big Wallow and wait for Ben and Quincy." "We're not gonna leave Wayne behind." "These are the last days." "They crossed the line." "And we're on the other side." "You two get to that hippie commune if they go there first." "The rest of us will get to Big Wallow." "Hello again." "I heard shots." "This is my uncle's property." "What are you doing here?" "I live near here, over on Feather Springs commune." "I don't like gunfire too close." "We try to be nonviolent." "Then what's that for?" "One of our animals is loose." "I'm trying to find him before trigger-happy hunters kill him first." " Do you have a phone?" " Are you lost?" "We need help." "One of our friends is missing." "There's a shortwave radio back at the main house." "Can we get the police?" "You can call whoever you want." "Is there trouble?" "There might be." "Follow me." "So what have you killed so far?" "Nothing." "That's funny." "I saw a hog with his head cut off." "Yeah?" "Where did you see that?" "Maybe it was just my imagination." "You have any cows or horses?" "We raise emus." " Not for meat though." " For what then?" "We use the feathers to stuff pillows." "You herd emus with a cattle prod?" "This is for big livestock." " Where am I?" " With us." " Relax." " We're gonna take good care of you." "My shoulder." "Ricky was right here." "They must be heading for those hippies." "I ain't burying' just my brother." "It'll be good for your shoulder, and it will leave less of a scar." "Ooh." "Can I get another hit?" "Of course." "What about the cops?" "Everything is taken care of." "A trough." "Slop for the pigs." "That's pigs?" "It's the sulfur minerals in the mud." "It's medicinal." "How come you feeding the pigs so close to the house?" "What the fuck." "Wayne?" "It's eating me." "Your friends on wheels?" "It's the Tibbs." "Don't be scared." "Be cool." "Drop 'em like they're beer cans." "Fuck you, rednecks." "Get some." "Tied-dyed, pussi-fied." "What's goin' on, O.J.?" "Save it!" "Creep, sweep." "Come on, you pussel-gutted bastard!" "You sweet son of a bitch." "Please, help me." "We need help." "Where's your shortwave radio?" " What shortwave radio?" " Where's that hippie freak?" " I don't know who you're talking about." " Where's our friend?" " What friend?" " That's Ben's gun." " What gun?" " The gun on the table." "What table?" "I wouldn't do that." "T.J." "Jake!" "Lord have mercy." " No way." " That's just what your uncle said." "God!" "We'll save that one for later." "What about the others outside?" "They're meeting their master." "You've got another destiny." "Mud me." "Nicole Giddens." "You lost?" "Kelly McDonald, Leggett, California." "What is this place?" "Jennifer Chadwick." "Where are they?" "Where's who?" "I'd say you got two choices." "No!" "That's the spirit." " Take it off." " Leave her alone!" "Does this make you feel like a man?" "Oh, yeah." "You're a beautiful sacrifice." "What are you doing?" "What's out there?" "You're gonna rot in here." "Then in hell." "What the" "Jesus fuck." "Life is meant to be awesome." "Camille Cook, Carmel, California." "California, California, California, California." "Calm down, John." "Relax and squeeze." "How does it feel to be so low on the food chain?" "You can't hurt him." "Heel, boy." " Brooks, stand still!" "He can't see you!" "You okay?" "Mission accomplished."