"Okay, here goes." " Oh not again!" " You're getting better." " I stink" " Yeah, but you're getting better." "This time just try to hit it a little higher, a little straighter and a little further." "Or any one of those." "It's these stupid birdies, why won't they fly?" "Sorry!" ".." "Do I get any points for that?" "1x10:" "Sweet  Sour Victory Original Airdate: 11/29/1996" "To review." "Bone is composed primarily of what?" "Come on, it's written on the board behind me." "CALCIUM!" "I just told you kids five minutes ago, don't you listen?" "That you heard." "Okay, for homework tonight read chapter fifteen and reread chapter fourteen, it's for your own good." " Sr. can I say something?" " What is it Sabrina?" "A bones hardness is derived mainly from calcium phosphate and calcium carbonate with small amounts of fluorides, sulphate's and chlorides." "You listened to what I said, why didn't you raise your hand?" "It's never enough for you, is it?" "Your point?" "I just found out they're offering Kung Fu as a PE elective, isn't that cool?" "What about Badminton?" "Well Badminton won't register these as lethal weapons." "Well you said I should register my racket?" "Well you've gotta learn to hold on to that thing." "But it's hard, I'm not a jock like you." "I mean you probably have a ton of these." "Eighteen is not a ton, and besides it's no big deal." "Trophies are just a symbol of superiority and greatness." "Oh and who'd want one of those?" "I think next semester I'm going to take basket ball, that way I can get some reading done on the bench." "Actually I was hoping you'd take Kung Fu with me." "Really?" "That'd be fun." "Sorry." "I think that deserves a round of applause." "I said!" "Please Hilda, we're on our last vase." "But I'm rehearsing for the biggest audition of my career," "I need all the encouragement I can get." "There." "Now take a break, you've been practising that same piece since Mozart wrote it." "No one plays it better than Gustav Von Hagle, he's the one I have to beat." "Hi aunties, I'm home." "Hi." "Wow, pretty roses and nice arrangement." "They're from my loyal but imaginary fans." "Did you have fun in school?" "Yeah, Harvey asked me to take Kung Fu with him." "Isn't that sweet." "I just hope I don't maim him." "Will one of you sign my permission slip?" "You do it, I have to protect my hands." "What are we doing?" "I think this music is supposed to psych us up but it's not exactly 'We will rock you.'" "Whaaa!" "Good'ay students." "Mr. Pool?" "!" "I am you sifu and I will be teaching you PE." "So if you'll all please rise to your feet." "I can't believe Mr. Pool knows Kung Fu." "I can, think about how much he was probably beat up as a kid." "Now we'll begin out class with the customary bow to show respect for your er sifu." "Come on, it's tradition." "Now we'll begin with some breathing exercises designed.." "to help you locate your chi, and no that's not something you left in your locker." "ha ha." "Er no, chi is inner strength, so everybody breath in." "And out." "Wow, this is easier than Badminton." "Not that Badminton's easy." "Okay, I'm going to need a er volunteer, so can I see a show of hands?" "No one?" "Jeez, Am I teaching a biology?" "Mr. Pool, I'll give ageless wisdom a shot." "Thank you." "Now er together we're going to demonstrate the philosaphy of the river and the rock." "Which do you wanna be?" "The rock obviously." "Nothing can move a rock." "Western thinking." "Okay, Sabrina will be the rock, I'll be the river, we'll see which one is stronger." "We bow." "And go." " You tripped me!" " The river tripped you." "The river always beats the rock because the river has great inner strength." "Oh maybe the rock has great inner strength too but just didn't have a chance to use it." "Huh, the rock is slow and heavy." "The rivers all wet." "The rock wants a rematch." "The river's game." "What are they talking about?" "We bow." "and go." "A:ha, very smart." "You see.." "The rock wins." "And er that's the proper way to fall." " All right, two out of three." " You've got it." "I didn't know Sabrina could do that!" "No maz!" "no maz!" "Open the door Sabrina, my hands." "It's Mr. Pool!" "Duck!" "You see the reason I'm here is." "Well today in Kung Fu, um.." "Actually I think it's better if you hear this from me." "Today in Kung Fu I kicked Mr. Pool's butt." "Sabrina, you didn't!" "I've never seen such natural gifts, which is why I'm here." "er Sabrina, are you at all interested in glory?" "Mm I could go for some glory." "There's a Kung Fu competition in Boston next week and I think you have the potential to make some waves in the river." "Aren't we getting a little ahead of ourselves?" "She's had one class in a public school, she can't be ready for competition." "But I am, I can prove it." "Wanna see me flip Mr. Pool again?" " Yes." " No." "that won't be necessary." "So can she go?" "Well, it's up to her." " Okay." " Great." "I'll just file the necessary paperwork then swing by my HMO for a quick CAT scan to make sure this ringing in my ears is no big deal." "Er see you tomorrow." "Hopefully without all these spots." "See ya." "Whoo:hoo!" "I think I've found my sport!" "Yes!" "I'm a jock!" "Pretend you didn't see that." "She seems happy." "All a little too easy, I smell a rat." "Ooh a Rat!" "Oh wait, I had Rat for lunch." "Cute." "And deadly." "You knocked?" "Can we come in?" "All door are open on the path to enlightenment." "I'll take that as a yes." "Sabrina we have a question, Mr. Pool spoke of your natural gifts and we were wondering are they truly natural or supernatural?" "You mean did I use my magic?" "Bare in mind." "We're not accusing, we're just asking." " Well I did." " How could you!" "What were you thinking?" "I thought you wanted me to use my magic more?" "We do but not when you compete against mortal's, then your magic gives you an unfair advantage." "That's why I've been practicing so hard." "I wanna win first chair not because I'm a witch but because I have talent." "But I don't have talent in fact I stink at sports." "Well have you tried something easy like Badminton?" "Look, are you saying I can't do this?" "We're saying let you conscience be your guide." "Use your moral compass, or you can borrow mine." "Here try it." "How accurate is this?" "We'll leave you alone to think about that." " Zelda, the door." " Oh stop it." "I saw you cracking walnuts earlier." "Let your conscience be your guide." "I hate when they say that, now I have no idea what to do." "You should consider the pros and cons." "I use my magic, I win, without it, I lose." "Win, lose." "Win, lose." "I'm going with win!" "North Eastern Regional Kung Fu Championships" "Wow!" "Some of these guys are really big." "Yeah, I wish we had trained more." "Y'know beyond the breathing exercises." "I'll be fine Mr. Pool." "Don't forget, I have my inner strength." "And don't forget." "I have a permission slip signed by your legal guardian:n:n:ns!" "I know him, that's the bad guy from the movie 'Dragon Killer'" "His name is Tai Wai Tse and he's a great fighter with a colossal chi." "Last time I saw him he was impaled on pungee sticks, he looks good." "Will I be doing combat with him?" "Only if you win all three of your matches." "So let's just focus and concentrate on your first opponent." "Right, focus and concentrate." "Focus and concentrate." "Focus and concentrate." "Oh Harvey you made it." "I couldn't miss your big match." "I mean it's amazing all the progress you've made in the past... two days." "Oh well er Mr. Pool's a great teacher." "Well listen." "There's something I want to say to you that, it's something I always wish my dad would say to me before a game." "It doesn't matter if you win or lose, you're still a winner to me." "Thanks." "Now excuse me Harvey, I've gotta go kick some butt." "So Tiger Balm, you killed my Brother, you killed my father and now you've come for me, but you will not succeed." "What are you talking about?" "That's what the guy said at the end of 'Dragon Killer'" "Y'know right before he tossed you on the pungee sticks?" "Oh yeah, pungee sticks, that was fun." "Are you ready to get this over with?" "Aren't we supposed to spar verbally first?" "Only in the movies." "Now it is time for me to defeat you." "You can try but you will not succeed." "If the vendor comes by, order me an I.C." "The winner is Sabrina!" "Way to go!" "I eat lunch with her!" "Oh, um troféu!" "Oh a trophy!" "I have a trophy." "Is this real gold?" "It's such a great trophy Salem." "Look it says first and it's got that little gold guy on top." "It really is the best trophy and look." "It comes up past my knee, and you know what else occurs to me?" "Is it about the trophy?" "I just realised I can retire now because I'm not greedy." "I just wanted one trophy and now I've got one." "Oh." "I'm glad it all worked out, now go to sleep." "Okay." "Trophy, trophy, trophy." "I'm done." "Cheater!" " What?" " Cheater!" "Salem, what did you say?" "I didn't say anything." "It came from over there." "Over where?" "By your trophy." "My trophy?" "Cheater!" "O meu troféu!" " Did you say something?" " Cheater!" "What is this about?" "You didn't deserve to win me, you used magic." "Hey lay off you gold plated mantle warmer." "Don't start with me tabby, I'll take you out with a single blow." " I'll mess you up!" " You're going down!" "Stop it both of you." "Now can we discus this in the morning?" "Sure we can discuss this in the morning, but I'm not going to shut up tonight." "Cheater!" "Cheater!" "Cheater!" "Cheater!" "Cheater!" "Shh!" "you'll wake up my aunts." " They're asleep?" " Yes." "CHEATER!" "CHEATER!" "You leave me with no alternative." "Cheater!" "Cheater!" "Cheater!" "Cheater!" "Oh, now you're making me mad!" "What's all the noise?" "Everything okay?" "No!" "My trophy won't shut up." "Well just tell it to..." "Huh?" "It keeps calling me names." "I don't know what's happening." "I take it you decided to compete in Kung Fu?" "Yeah and she won." "Cheater!" "That explains it." "The trophy is speaking your guilty conscience." "You told me to decide for myself and I did." "And you decided wrong." "How do I get it to stop yapping?" "Well you could put a teeny weeny sock in his mouth, or you could clear your conscience." "I have a better idea." "What?" "That's where I was planning to keep it." "Here's our champion huh!" "Sabrina, I bow to your greatness." "Please, don't." "No you deserve it." "Not many people could compete the way you did." " That's true." " So, where's your trophy?" "At home in the freezer..." "with er all our other valuables." "Don't you wanna show it off in the trophy case?" "No." "It's really not that great a trophy." "are you kidding, it comes up to your knee?" "Besides, that trophy says you're the best." "Well that may be what it says to you but it's not what it says to me." " Hilda." " Gustav." "How nice to see you." "What are you doing here?" "Auditioning for first chair same as you." "No, not same as me." "You never play same as me." "Hello Stradi" "You have a Stradivarius?" "Yes, that other job I beat you out for payed me well enough to buy it.." "and a case." "Well you're not going to beat me this time." "Oh no?" "I think I vill, I think you are fine for veddings, Bah Mitzvahs.." "Hoe:downs but being first chair requires skill, talent, me." "You know, I've got my fans too and they think this is my year." "Give it up." "There's nothing you can do." "Oh yes there is." "What, you going to cry like a little baby?" "boo:hoo, chose me!" "No I'm not going to cry." "I'm going to go in there and play like I've never played before." "That would be a excellent idea." "I take it the audition didn't go well." "Gustav got first, I got second." "I'm so sorry." "Should I notify the weather service?" "No." "There, now it's out of my system." "Hi guys." " Hi." " Hey." "You'll be happy to know I'm ready to do the right thing." "Oh Sabrina that's great." "I did the right thing." "Oh yeah, your audition." "How did it go?" "Yeah, They did the right thing." "So did you get first chair?" "No, I got second chair but I tried my hardest, and second chair is even better than first chair when you think about it over and over until words lose all meaning." "You can drop it aunt Hilda, I've already decided to give back the trophy." "Ch:ch:ch:cheater:r:r!" "Ch:ch:ch:cheat:ter:r!" ":!" "Okay, I was going to run you under the hot water but now you get nothing." "I'm tired of playing the ninja assassin.." "I know Marty, look I just want to play the dad on a phone commercial." "Yeah, work on it." "Look, I gotta go." "Someone's at the door. love you, chow." "Hi Tai." "You er probably don't remember me." "Yeah like so many little blonde girls kick my butt that I can't keep them straight." "You're Sabrina right?" "Yeah." "I:" "I came to bring you this." "I think you should have it." "What?" "You won it; you keep it." "You keep it." "It'll be happier here." "Look." "See?" "Surrounded by his little friends okay." "Gotta go." "Oh wait, wait!" "I can't keep this trophy, even though it comes past my knee." "I haven't earned it." "It'd be meaningless." "It's more annoying than meaningless." "I could only accept it if I won it honourably in a rematch." "You mean I'd have to fight you again?" "But we already did that." "Okay, how about this." "We play foozball?" "There is no honour in foosball." "Wrong." "Wrong." "Mr. Pool, can we talk?" "Oh, of course my little dragon killer, killer." "I thought you should know I agreed to a rematch with Tai Wai Tse." "That's fantastic, I'm thrilled." "Although all future booking's should go through me." "It won't happen again." "Now here's the thing." "I need you to train me." "Oh sure, we'll do our usual breathing exercises." "No, I mean really train me." "Like teach me to fight." "But you know how to fight." "I forgot." "I lost my chi!" "Where's my chi?" "Have you seen it?" "Sabrina look, it's right there inside you." "Now you've got the stuff." "I don't know what made you lose your confidence but I suggest you get it back really soon." "Okay you're right." "I just need to focus and concentrate." "Focus and concentrate." "Focus and concentrate." "Oh!" "Sorry." "Good luck." "There's Tai Wai Tse." "Does he look flabbier to you?" "Not really." "Go get him Sabrina." "So Sabrina, we meet again." "Yeah, hi!" "Nice shirt." "O:kay!" "Okay I guess upper body isn't my strength, lets go for legs." "Can you come over here?" "I have to ask you a question." "No way." "It's a trick, you'll pull me down." "No I won't." "I just want to ask if there's an honourable way to beg for mercy?" "It's not time for mercy yet." "How about now?" "You approached this match with honour, Sabrina." "Now close your eye's and we'll end it that way." "The UNEI trophy's mine." "Sabrina are you okay?" "I think I bruised my chi, but my conscience is clear." "Excuse me, there's something I have to do." "So I guess this is it." "I'm giving you to your rightful owner." "I'm not a cheater anymore." "I know." "Loser!" "I'm not going to miss you one bit." "Hey aunt Zelda, look." "Oh you did the right thing." "How do you feel?" "Sore but good." "Where's aunt Hilda?" "I wanna tell her the news." "She's at the symphony." "It's her first night playing second chair." "I wish she had beaten that guy." "Me to, but what can you do?" " Can we come it?" " Sure." "We've got something for you." "Is that a trophy?" "And it comes up to your ankle." "'world's greatest niece' Oh that's so nice." "Well you earned it." "Fair and square." "Hey!" "What's that around your neck?" "Nothing!" "It's a gold medal isn't it?" "Where did you get that?" "Kerry Strugg gave it to me?" "Homework time!" "** Saboor Mughal **"