"[ Film projector clicking ]" "[ Coins jingling ]" "[ Bell jingles ]" "[ Cash register bell dings ]" "Meredith:" "They say life doesn't give you second chances." "But we do." "Surgeons do." "Hey." "E.R.?" "Yep." "Uh, so, sorry about last night." "Don't worry about it." "You're mad." "We just -- we really lost track of time " "I'm not." "It's fine." "Forget it." "Oh." "You break a bone, we put it back together." "You bleed, we make it stop." "Nicole:" "Well?" "You flatline, we resuscitate you." "What did you decide?" "I didn't!" "I was up all night." "Then you had ample time." "You can't drop a bomb like "I have a brain tumor"" "and expect me to decide anything." "I need to know more." "You don't need to know anything that you don't already know." "Okay, great." "Why the pills?" "I'm getting a migraine." "You're not helping." "This -- this is what I mean." "Is it a migraine or is it the tumor?" "What kind of tumor is it?" "What does it mean?" "A-are you -- are you gonna get tremors during surgery?" "You're talking me through a procedure and you slur your speech?" "I need to know more!" "You don't get to." "Of course I'm not gonna do anything to endanger my patients." "I am handling my situation responsibly, but it is my situation, and you are not entitled to it." "You are entitled to my knowledge -- to my years of discoveries and mistakes and dead ends and blood and sweat and innovations that you don't have to go through." "That's the deal." "The chance to take my work into your future." "Just you." "So..." "Could you please make up your mind?" "But as much as we give people second chances, surgeons don't usually get them." "Surgeries are canceled." "Round on my service." "I have an appointment." "And don't ask what it is, 'cause, of course, I'm not gonna tell you." "Because the kind of mistakes we make are sometimes impossible to recover from." "What's wrong with you?" "Uh -- [ Clears throat ] I was " " I was up all night." "Me too." "Ah, Sofia's been acting out, asking questions about me and Arizona, and I don't know what to tell her or how to tell her, so I'm just not sleeping." "I'm miserable." "Why didn't you sleep?" "Oh, you don't want to know." "What's going on?" "Derek and I were up having sex all night." "Yeah, I kind of didn't want to hear that." "[ Sirens wailing ]" "69-year-old male, jumped two stories from a burning building." "Shocky, b.P.'S 95 over 60 with a rate in the 120s." "G.C.S. 14 in the field." "Hattie..." "Why am I looking at two patients on one gurney?" "She's dead." "Owen:" "What?" "Hattie... we couldn't find a pulse." "And we tried to pull her off, but the husband just held on." "He was agitated." "He wouldn't let her go." "So we had to stop 'cause we were afraid we were gonna hurt him." "What've we got -- oh, wow." "Hattie... witnesses said he carried his wife out the window and jumped to escape the fire." "We think he was trying to break her fall." "Let's get them into trauma one." "Amy, where do you need me?" "You got the head lac in bed 3, right?" "Yeah, that's nothing." "I can jump in on this." "I don't need you." "Is that good management, you leaving your star player on the bench?" "You won't be for long." "People are always hitting their heads on something." "Meredith:" "His skin is mottled and cyanotic." "We have to get her off of him." "Owen:" "Sir, you have to let her go." "No." "We have to move her to help you." "No, no." "Sir, what is your name?" "Norris." "I-is she...?" "Norris..." "You don't have to worry about that right now, sir." "No, he does, actually." "Of course he does." "Norris, what is your wife's name?" "Is she...?" "Harriet." "Hattie." "Norris." "Norris, it's time to let hattie go." "She's gone." "Gone?" "What do you mean gone?" "Norris, she died." "No." "No." "She's gone." "I'm sorry." "Hattie, no..." "You did everything you could." "No!" "No..." "You helped her through the hardest part." "You held her, you protected her, and she died in your arms." "And I'm sure she couldn't think of a better way to go." "She's no longer in any pain, Norris, but you are, and she wouldn't want you to be." "You have to let her go now so we can help you, okay?" "[ Sobbing ]" "She's mine." "I can't." "Norris." "Norris, I'm so sorry." "It's time." "Okay." "On 3 -- 1...2...3." "Owen:" "Let's go." "Come on." "I'll go pronounce." "Hattie..." "Hattie..." "Honey... honey..." "Airway's intact, but there's a little soot." "Hypotensive and a rigid abdomen." "Pupils are equal and reactive bilaterally." "Callie:" "Right lower leg is tense and swollen." "I'm gonna measure compartment pressures." "Quiet." "Breath sound is decreased on the left." "Add right tib/fib to the trauma films." "Quiet!" "I got a pulse." "Barely palpable, but it's there." "Owen:" "Trauma two!" "Pierce, Shepherd, you're with me." "She's alive?" "She is." "You'll take care of her?" "I will." "I'll take real good care of her." "I promise." "Where's Dr. Herman?" "Did you call my mom?" "You said to wait until there's something to be worried about." "Well, now I'm worried." "Why isn't she moving?" "Emily, Corey, I'm concerned that the baby might be bleeding into the tumor itself, and it's causing her to be anemic." "Oh, my God." "Will she be all right?" "Where's Dr. Herman?" "She had an, um -- an appointment with another patient." "Well, she can do something, right?" "She said she'd do everything to get the baby to term." "That was the whole point of planning fetal surgery." "And that's still -- that's still the point." "Dr. Herman will likely perform an intrauterine transfusion." "I will apprise her, and we'll come back and talk to you about how to move forward." "Sit tight, okay?" "Okay." "Where is Dr. Herman?" "No idea, but she better pick up, because Emily Jensen's baby's gonna die." "[ Monitor beeping ]" "Good tube placement." "Yeah, the hemopneumothorax is bigger." "Edwards, prep for a chest tube." "Before you do that, Edwards, can you check with C.T. again and see when they can take us?" "But she's bleeding into her lung." "I know, but I felt a depressed temporal bone fracture, and she has spinal fluid coming out of her ear." "I need a C.T. to confirm." "April:" "I'm on my way up to radiology." "Is anyone free to update the family?" "Mm-hmm." "Sarah?" "What are you doing here?" "Amelia." "You're... a doctor?" "I am, yeah." "My parents, they were in a fire." "Oh, God." "Okay." "Um..." "This is what we know so far." "Your father has some internal injuries and a leg fracture." "Your mom has some bleeding into her lung and a cranial fracture." "As her neurosurgeon, I'm gonna need to do surgery to -- wait." "You... want to do surgery on my mom?" "No." "No." "I'm sorry, but no." "No." "I-I -- excuse me." "I need a different doctor." "Sarah..." "She -- she cannot touch my mother." "It's not just " "I need a different doctor right now." "Okay." "Calm down." "Let's just -- no!" "I want another doctor!" "What's the problem here?" "She cannot touch my mother." "She's a drug addict." "I can't have her operate on my parents." "Hold it." "Dr. Shepherd is our -- is a junkie." "I met her in narcotics anonymous." "She's hooked on oxy." "She overdosed with her boyfriend and woke up with him dead in bed with her." "I want another doctor." "Now!" "Come with me." "Just come with me, please." "No!" "I'm -- no, no!" "This way, please." "You keep her away from them!" "Hunt, don't worry." "I've got this." "Keep her away from them!" "Owen:" "Follow me, ma'am." "Calm down and follow me." "What was that?" "You just took Amelia's surgery?" "What was I supposed to do?" "Take her side." "She was being attacked." "The woman had it out for her, Meredith." "If anything goes wrong, she'll go blaming her because she was an addict." "You're gonna go talk to Owen, right, and clear this up?" "Yes, I will." "I paged you three times." "Yeah, keep your pants on." "I'm consulting on three babies here " "I have a mom whose fetus is bleeding into her s.C.T." "She needs an intrauterine transfusion." "It's inserting a 6-inch needle into an umbilical vein without rupturing membranes or inducing bradycardia." "I've never done one, and Herman's awol." "So, you deliver." "You'll take the baby out." "I'll repair the s.C.T. Myself." "Alex, the baby's 28 weeks." "The whole point in seeing Herman was to try and get her to term." "Yeah, it'd be great if she were here, but I know how to save this kid." "[ Sighs ]" "Nicole:" "You've reached the voicemail of Dr. Nicole Herman." "[ Beeps ] Herman, Robbins again." "The Jensen baby's anemic, and the mca flow is 70." "I will give you 30 minutes, and if I don't hear from you," "I'm gonna do a c-section and resect the s.C.T." "[ Cellphone beeps ] Okay." "I'm gonna book an O.R., and can you be ready in 30 minutes if I need you?" "Yeah." "That's good." "Okay." "Thank you." "She's losing it." "Yes, she is." "Jo: [ Vomiting ]" "Look, it's your first solo surgery." "It's a big deal." "I mean, if you're too nervous," "I am more than happy to take it off your hands." "I'm not nervous." "Great." "Then you'd better not be pregnant." "Because if you let Karev throw a baby in there," "I will never forgive you." "I'm not pregnant, and I am not nervous." "I know how to fix a hernia." "Step one -- medial dissection." "Step two -- identify triangle of doom, avoid the iliac vein." "Step three -- puke." "Bailey's gonna eat you alive." "No, she's not, because I'm a badass." "Step three -- lateral dissection." "Step four..." "Identify triangle of pain." "See?" "Great." "I have got this procedure down, and I am not afraid of little bitty Dr. Bailey." "[ Toilet flushes ]" "Think you could turn the faucet on for me, Dr. badass?" "I'd do it myself, only I'm so little bitty." "[ Sighs ]" "[ Indistinct whispering ]" "Woman:" "Shh!" "Here she comes." "That's really scary, the idea of her operating on someone." "Did you know she was an addict?" "[ Indistinct whispering continues ]" "Woman:" "It must be because she's Shepherd's sister." "I need to talk to you." "She just said it in front of everyone -- all this stuff that I said at meetings about -- it's okay." "Are you sober?" "How is it okay?" "Everyone is looking at me." "Are you sober?" "Of course I am." "Did you disclose your recovery when you were hired?" "I didn't have to!" "Derek hired me." "He knew." "I assumed people knew." "And you've done nothing wrong." "Okay?" "She did." "She violated your privacy." "And you are under no obligation to tell anyone anything more, unless you've done something to compromise your ability to do your job, and you haven't." "So you don't need to say anything more about it." "Okay." "Those are your rights." "It's the past, and you don't have to defend it." "I thought I got away from it." "Coming here, I thought..." "I thought I had a chance to..." "But you never get away from it." "No." "No, you don't." "What do I do now?" "You just stay on track." "You look after yourself, do your job." "And as soon as you can, you need to get to a meeting." "[ Train whistle blows ]" "[ Clock ticking ]" "Come on, come on, come on." "Well?" "Time's up." "Let's take the baby out." "You're making the right call." "[ Rings, beeps ]" "Hey, it's Robbins, again." "So you've left me no choice, and for all I know, you could be dead." "So I've made my decision about you." "I am telling chief hunt as soon as I get out of surgery." "Is that her?" "Yeah, that's her." "[ Indistinct whispering ]" "Dr. Shepherd, um..." "Could we go somewhere private and talk?" "I'm busy right now, actually." "This is important." "[ Clears throat ]" "Listen..." "Is there anything you want to tell me?" "To... clear this up?" "I don't." "I think you heard all the facts." "What I heard was a very distraught woman shouting." "And I think there is another side to this story." "A woman requested another doctor, and I was removed from the case." "That is her right." "People have rights." "Listen, I am just trying to have a conversation." "That is none of your business if I'm doing my job." "Am I doing my job?" "Amelia, I am trying to help you here." "I just..." "I don't have to discuss this with you." "And that's your answer?" "That's my right." "[ Sighs ]" "Okay." "Let's clamp and cut." "And here she is." "I've got her." "All right, let's exteriorize the uterus." "Alex:" "Starting an umbilical line." "How's she doing?" "Let's pre-oxygenate her before we intubate." "Can you handle this?" "You just need to deliver the placenta and then close the " "I've only done about a million c-sections." "How you doing now?" "Bad." "O.R. 7 is waiting for us." "Graham, I'm going with the baby, so just come and find me when you're done, all right?" "All right, let's go!" "We're on the move!" "Maggie:" "Damn it." "This lobe is trashed." "We're gonna have to do a lobectomy." "Stephanie:" "We really have to take that much lung?" "We'll try to save as much as possible." "[ Monitors beeping loudly ] Wait." "Where's the bleed?" "Where's the bleed?" "I-I-I can't " " I can't find it." "Okay." "Everything okay there?" "All right." "Here's what you do." "Drop the suction." "Yeah." "Now reach in there and grab the hilum and twist it off like a garden hose." "Just slow the flow of blood until I can find -- ah!" "Yes." "There we go." "Hattie..." "[ Breathes deeply ]" "That was, uh -- that was really cool." "You may keep going, Dr. Shepherd, but go easy." "Hattie here has a hot date with her husband." "Okay." "Gotcha." "Sinus flap coming off." "Yep, just like it's supposed to." "Good." "Boy or a girl?" "What's that?" "Your baby." "Oh." "Right." "Yes." "Um, actually we have decided to be surprised." "That's a good call." "Ah, it's April's idea." "Actually, it's driving me crazy." "I mean, what would be the point of knowing everything you possibly could about your child when it's so much fun to be hopelessly unprepared, right?" "Yeah, we found out my son was a boy." "See?" "Yeah, but I didn't know he was gonna be delivered by an intern in a pitch-black room in the middle of a superstorm, but surprises happen." "That's a good story, but I find no comfort in it." "Yeah, well, and this." "I've been on the bench for weeks, yet here I am, saving a woman's life without even opening her skull." "Embrace surprises, Avery." "Callie:" "Lateral incision's done." "Going for medial now." "His spleen is shattered." "Give me the longest Kelly you have." "Here you go." "He was a human trampoline for his wife." "Pretty amazing." "Better than burning to death." "I can't imagine." "I can imagine throwing my wife out a window." "Ex-wife." "Everyone keeps saying that things will get easier, and I'm sure everyone can't be wrong, but, man, I am..." "[ Sighs ] I'm really ready for the easier part." "I think Derek and I may have hit the easier part." "Yeah." "You mentioned." "I don't know." "We keep calling these time-outs, you know?" "Mm-hmm." "And then we're so busy time-outing that we forget we're even mad." "Hmm." "I don't know." "He seems better -- at home, at least." "I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, but maybe there is no other shoe." "There's a shoe." "You know what your time-outs are?" "Band-aids." "They cover the mess, they stop the bleeding for a little while, but you're just ignoring the damage, and then -- whkkk!" "Good times." "Trust me." "There's gonna be another shoe." "Miranda:" "Awfully quiet over there." "Just focused, Dr. Bailey." "Do you think you should be updating me on your progress?" "Yeah." "I, uh, just finished the medial dissection and identified the triangle of doom, then lateral dissection, triangle of pain." "All that's left is the mesh." "Sounds like you have everything under control." "Totally." "Totally under control." "And you didn't barf in your mask." "Bravo." "Okay, you have to resect really carefully, especially this premature." "Oh, no." "There's another bleeder." "You're gonna have to devascularize this whole thing." "Yep, yep." "I got it." "This is nice." "It's like old times." "You haven't let me get used to the new times." "Dr. Robbins, Dr. Maddox has asked for you in O.R. 6." "Ugh." "Graham..." "It's a simple c-section." "I can take this if you got to go." "He says it's urgent." "Put the blood in a rapid infuser!" "Graham?" "The placenta was adhered, and as I started to pull, everything started bleeding!" "How many units has she gone through?" "Uh, I don't know." "Graham!" "Two, three?" "!" "Eight." "Oh, God." "I did what I was supposed to!" "I pulled at the placenta!" "Gown and glove me right now!" "Damn it, Graham." "It looks like placenta percreta." "It's probably invading deeper structures." "Can't you see that?" "I mean, ugh!" "Why didn't anybody stop him?" "!" "All right, listen -- call hunt or any trauma surgeon that's on call." "On it." "Graham, move." "Move!" "Derek:" "Your mother had a spinal-fluid leak." "I was able to stop it without opening up her skull." "She's still in surgery, and we hope to repair the damage to her right lung." "Your father has some internal bleeding." "We'll know more soon." "Thank you both so much." "I didn't want to do that to her..." "That other doctor." "I'm in recovery, too." "I broke an oath." "I wanted " " I want to be supportive, but..." "But it's my mother." "We'll let you know when we know more, okay?" "Derek, what am I looking at here?" "What are you talking about?" "Amy?" "What that lady said, how much of it is true?" "Is it all true?" "She's a drug addict?" "She killed her boyfriend?" "She's my sister." "I'm asking because I need to know if we want her out front as neuro chief." "I'm asking you if you think she's the best person to be heading the department." "Okay." "I get it." "She's your sister." "Say no more." "Thanks." "[ Clock ticking ]" "[ Child crying ] Shh!" "I'm here!" "Placenta percreta invading the bowel and bladder, right?" "I paged hunt." "Where's hunt?" "He's busy." "Well, I didn't want you to see this." "Oh, please." "Where do you need me?" "Get in here and start clamping." "The ultrasound didn't detect this?" "No, even Herman didn't see it." "And pregnant women have a higher blood volume, distended vessels, they bleed out faster -- oh, can it, Graham." "Oh, no." "No, no, no, no, no, no." "What is it?" "Oh, it extended to her kidney." "And the ureter -- lap pad!" "Keep that blood coming!" "She's losing a liter every two minutes!" "Good lord." "How do any of us even have babies?" "See, that's why I didn't want you in here." "[ Sighs ]" "I see no other injuries." "The bowel is intact." "I think we can close." "How much longer do you guys have?" "What's up?" "I've called for an emergency board meeting." "Is this about Amelia?" "It is." "Didn't Derek talk to you?" "He did." "Owen." "Owen!" "Callie." "Other shoe." "We got this." "Go." "Close for me." "[ Door opens ]" "[ Child cries ]" "Shh!" "Did Owen talk to you?" "I didn't tell him anything." "I don't have any-- did he talk to you about your job?" "He's saying he's gonna take my job?" "You'll talk to him, right?" "I did." "I did already." "I think I might have given him the idea." "Oh, no." "Derek " " Derek " "I didn't " " I didn't mean to -- d-Derek, no..." "I'm sorry." "I-I will fix it." "He wants to give you my job, and you're gonna let him." "No, I'm not." "You son of a bitch." "You son of a bitch!" "You kept me here!" "Don't." "Don't." "Amy, don't." "You asked me to come." "You asked me to stay, when I was building a life -- a new life -- a second chance that I had given myself just so that you could feel better about leaving." "I was trying to help you, and I was trying to help myself." "I was just try-- and you gave me this job, and you have abused me since the second I took it." "But that is not enough." "You need to destroy my entire caree-- how can you do this to me?" "I will fi-- to me?" "!" "I will fix it!" "How can you do this?" "!" "I will talk to them!" "I will talk to all of them, and I will fix it." "You're my brother." "[ Sighs ]" "[ Sighs ]" "[ Sighs ]" "I'm looking for Derek Shepherd." "Have you seen him?" "Uh, mnh-mnh." "Oh, there you are." "What is going on?" "What is this meeting about?" "There's not gonna be a meeting." "I'm gonna talk to hunt." "He said he already talked to you." "He did." "Well, did you set him straight about Amelia?" "I didn't." "What?" "Not right now, mer." "I can't talk to you about this." "Not right now." "Derek, what did you say?" "What did you do?" "I just finished my first solo tapp surgery." "All right." "Did you throw up in your mask?" "No." "Why does everyone keep asking me that?" "I nailed it." "Medial, lateral, pain, mesh -- boom!" "What about the triangle of doom, the iliac vein?" "What about it?" "Well, you skipped it." "No, I didn't." "Jo, you didn't say it." "But I did it." "In there." "I-I didn't skip it in there." "In there, I..." "I did it, right?" "Are you asking me?" "Medium clip." "Got it." "3-0 silk." "Hang another unit." "She's gone through 100 units of blood products." "Woman:" "Dr. Robbins, Dr. Karev is asking to see you." "Oh, her baby." "Did he say what's wrong?" "Just that he needed you." "Damn." "Go." "No, I can't leave this woman." "I got her." "Make sure her baby's okay." "[ Monitors beeping ]" "Ohh." "Sorry!" "W-what happened?" "Where's Dr. Karev?" "!" "What is it?" "What happened?" "Oh, I finished." "It went well." "You were all in a twist about this kid, so I thought you'd want to update the dad with me." "Oh, God." "Alex, no, his wife is -- is the baby okay?" "Yes." "Uh, the surgery went well." "Her vitals are good." "She'll likely need to stay in the nicu for a while, but she's looking good." "Has Emily seen her?" "She's still in surgery." "Um, there were some complications during her c-section." "Wait, she's still in surgery?" "We're doing everything that we can." "I-I have to go back." "Everything you can?" "How serious is this?" "She lost a lot of blood." "Where's Dr. Herman?" "Dr. Herman had a plan." "Now you've got my baby in critical care, and my wife is bleeding to death!" "I don't even know who you are." "I have to go back." "Where the hell is our doctor?" "!" "April:" "[ Echoing ] Time of death... 18:22." "It was just a misunderstanding with Owen." "He'll take care of it." "He said he would." "He did this, Meredith." "Why should I believe that?" "Why do you believe it?" "Because he's your brother." "That's why he can do it." "It's why he could steal my toys and pull my hair and call me names." "It's because I'm family." "It's why he thinks he can get away with this." "[ Chuckles ]" "You don't get it." "No." "I don't." "I was raised as an only child." "And I'm historically lousy at being a sister." "You're here right now." "[ Sighs ]" "That's good enough." "You don't remember?" "No, I -- of course I remember." "I-I just wanted to double-check with you, you know, to be safe." "My lateral dissection, it looked good, right?" "I-I don't think I went anywhere near the iliac vein." "You don't think " "Wilson, either you hit the woman's iliac vein or you didn't." "Which one is it?" "I don't..." "So, what do we do now?" "We run a C.T. -- no." "I run a C.T." "You?" "You just stand here and pray that your patient isn't bleeding to death right now." "[ Door opens ]" "Owen:" "So Robbins is tied up." "Should we wait?" "No, yeah, we should get started." "No, no, no." "Well, Derek, we just need to figure out " "I know you're trying to figure out what's going on." "I know you've heard some stories about Amelia." "I let you believe something." "I let you believe that, uh " "Shepherd, you were pretty clear when we spoke, so -- she's in recovery." "She works really hard at it." "She's been successful in recovery, and..." "[ Sighs ]" "[ Gunshot ]" "This hospital should have protected her." "This woman should have protected her." "And..." "[ Bell jingles ]" "More importantly, I should have protected her." "[ Sighs deeply ]" "I didn't." "[ Gun cocks ]" "And I didn't because I wanted her job." "I wanted my old job back." "[ Clock ticking ]" "So now we're here." "My fault." "[ Sighs ]" "Derek, why did you even...?" "She should stay where she is, Owen." "She can do the job." "She is doing the job." "I couldn't do it any better." "How's his baby?" "Is there any change?" "No." "She's good." "She's stable." "Let me do it." "No, I have to tell him." "How?" "How, Alex?" "How do I tell him that his wife is dead?" "Where the hell is Herman?" "She should have been here." "That's not helping!" "I was here." "Emily was my responsibility, and I lost her." "So let me do it." "Placenta percreta is very difficult to diagnose, and in cases as severe as Emily's, it's usually..." "Insurmountable." "If your baby had come to term, it's likely Emily would have died." "No." "Corey, this is what you have to understand." "If I'd done the surgery we'd planned, it's likely that, down the line, we would have lost Emily and your daughter." "Dr. Robbins did everything within her power for your wife." "But she saved your baby's life." "Your baby is alive because of her." "I'm not sure what that was about, but it doesn't change anything." "Okay?" "I can't do it." "I won't do it." "You -- you abandoned me." "You -- you left me no choice but to take that baby." "You made me -- [ Coughing, vomiting ]" "Are -- [ Toilet flushes ]" "[ Groans ]" "Go ahead." "Finish your thing." "[ Clears throat ]" "Well, I -- [ Coughs ]" "I, um..." "Oh, no, no." "Go on." "Get it out." "[ Sighs ]" "Thank you." "What?" "What's happening?" "Yesterday, my doctors decided" "I need some aggressive radiation therapy immediately, so that's where I was today." "It just..." "Hit me a little harder than I expected." "Everything I said to that man was true." "You saved a baby that we would have lost." "I watched you." "I logged in to the hospital interface." "I monitored your progress all day." "[ Sniffles ]" "You made the right call." "You made all the right calls." "That's not -- if -- if you had been here, you would've -- mnh-mnh." "No." "The only thing I could've done is perform an intrauterine transfusion, try to keep the baby in a little longer, get her closer to term." "And maybe -- maybe -- we could have detected the percreta earlier, but it doesn't mean we could've done anything for her that you didn't do." "I want to know how to do it, the intrauterine transfusion." "'Cause if there's a chance that I could've saved that mom, then I need to know how." "For the next time." "I can show you tomorrow." "Unless you're planning to have a conversation with chief hunt." "Okay." "I'll see you tomorrow." "Go home." "[ Door opens ]" "It's gonna be fine." "Hey, I'm gonna be here with you, okay?" "[ Door opens ]" "Edwards, out." "Yes, ma'am." "[ Sighs ]" "How was the C.T.?" "She never made it to C.T." "Wait -- this was your surgery, Wilson." "I'm gonna need you to talk to the family." "Oh, my God." "She's dead?" "She's dead?" "Oh, my God." "I never said that." "I-I remember doing everything correctly." "Wilson." "I even " " I even -- she's fine!" "What?" "I didn't say she was dead." "I said she never made it to C.T." "You're -- you're screwing with me." "I didn't take her to C.T." "Because I saw you do it in the O.R., Dr. badass." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God!" "You have a problem!" "No, you do." "You second-guess yourself." "This was the first in a career full of surgeries you will be doing alone." "Before too long, there won't be anyone to catch you when you fall." "Your patients need to trust that when you take them into surgery, you know what you're doing." "Now, how can you expect them to do that if you don't even trust yourself?" "You are so mean." "I am, indeed." "Tell all your little bitty friends." "[ Sighs ] Hey." "I heard about your patient." "You okay?" "There was so much blood, Jackson." "I mean, I know we see it all the time, but..." "Yeah." "I just " " I didn't think it was gonna stop." "And I know it can be scary." "But you and our baby are just fine." "So do not worry, okay?" "I'm not worried." "Are you worried?" "All the time." "How can you not be?" "You know how." "Right." "It's all in God's hands." "Yeah." "God, I don't know how you can do that -- just write off all the unanswered questions." "We don't get to know the answers." "That's your answer." "I don't know why that woman had to die tonight." "She exsanguinated." "That's why." "Yeah, okay." "But why?" "Because all of it just..." "All of it just happened." "You're really comfortable with that answer?" "Hmm?" "Yeah." "[ Chuckles ]" "See, I don't know how you do that." "[ Both laugh ]" "[ Door opens, closes ]" "Is that you?" "[ Sighs ] How's hattie?" "Thoracotomy." "I had to resect her entire right lower lobe." "She's gonna need rib stabilization." "Norris, too." "Ex-lap, avulsed spleen." "Torres did a fasciotomy on his right leg." "I think it's gonna be okay, though." "We'll see if her lungs don't shut down overnight." "We gave them the best chance we could." "Yeah." "We'll see." "We'll see." "Again, about last night -- would you let it go?" "I'm not mad." "Well, you sound like someone who's mad." "Of course I'm mad." "You invited me to dinner, and then didn't come to the dinner -- at your own house!" "I know." "I told Derek it was a bad idea." "You didn't want to talk to Richard." "I wanted to have dinner -- with people and conversation." "I don't know anyone here." "I have no friends." "I do nothing at night." "I go to the grocery store, and I buy sad single-serving packets of food for sad people who eat alone." "I was really excited for pot roast." "And people!" "I changed my outfit four times." "And, no, I-I didn't want to talk to Webber, but that wasn't gonna stop me from coming, because I'm really sick of talking back to my TV, and I'm scared I'm gonna get a cat." "[ Chuckles ]" "And I was really excited that someone had invited me to dinner." "So, yeah, I'm pretty mad." "[ Ringtone plays ]" "Hattie's awake." "What?" "What happened?" "Mom, there was a fire in your apartment." "You've had surgery, but you're doing well." "Your husband saved your life." "He picked you up and jumped out a window with you." "Well, that was stupid." "[ Both laugh ]" "Oh, Norris, you saved my life." "I nearly killed you." "But that doctor, she promised." "Where is she, that woman doctor?" "Oh, Dr. Shepherd." "She promised they'd save you, and she was right." "[ Chuckles ]" "Are you busy tonight?" "Oh, well, I was going to catch up on some reading, some medical journals, but..." "Oh, actually, no." "No, I am, um " " I'm not busy." "Why?" "¶ Yeah, I'm cool ¶" "¶ everything seems to be fine ¶ this was Ellis' house." "¶ But I don't feel the same inside ¶ this is where you grew up." "It was nicer before Alex trashed it." "Oh, shut up." "It smelled like books." "[ Laughter ] Well, it smelled a lot better when I lived here." "Now it just smells like Karev." "[ Laughing ] Wait." "You lived here, too?" "Alex and Meredith:" "Everybody lived here." "I practically lived here with George, right?" "George was my ex-husband." "He was in their resident class." "O'Malley." "O'Malley." "I'm sorry." "Your husband?" "Yeah, she does dudes, too." "True." "I did him once." "True. [ Laughing ]" "She did." "I didn't do him." "I did do George, though -- once." "Oh-ho-ho!" "Yeah, yeah." "Oh, God." "Yeah, yeah." "We're all related through sex." "[ Laughs ] We all have sexual relations." "That is horribly weird." "¶ I'm not afraid to use the phone ¶ [ Doorbell rings ]" "¶ 'Cause I don't have to be alone ¶ [ laughter ] ¶ no, I'll never be scared ¶" "¶ and, oh, so I find myself at home ¶" "¶ and that's all right ¶ hi." "Meredith:" "It's hard to give second chances." "¶ To get that good feeling ¶" "I probably should've called first, but..." "Someone told me to go home, and I wasn't really sure where I should go." "See?" "Everyone lives here." "Beer's in the fridge." "Hard stuff's on the counter." "Thank you." "It's even harder to ask for them." "¶ I'm all good, I'll be on my way ¶" "¶ and I find myself at home ¶ a chance to do it again, knowing what you know now... ¶ I'm home, no, I never look back ¶ what you've learned... ¶ Hold on to what I have ¶" "...a chance to do it completely differently... ¶ 'Cause I don't have to be alone ¶" "¶ no, I'll never be scared ¶" "¶ and, oh, when I find myself at home ¶" "Derek:" "You okay?" "I was at a meeting." "I'm moving out." "Tomorrow." "I'm sorry." "I'm just so sorry." "Don't, Derek." "Don't even bother." "I didn't mean to hurt you." "I'm sure you didn't." "I'm sure you didn't even think about me." "You saw an opening, and you took it." "I have always wanted to protect you ever since dad died." "I didn't want to." "I'm sure you didn't want me to." "But I promised." "[ Bell jingles ]" "[ Child cries ] Shh!" "[ Gunshot ]" "Then you came up here, and I realized..." "I didn't have to worry anymore." "You were okay." "You were fine." "You were more than fine." "You could..." "Take care of yourself now, and I didn't need to anymore." "I needed you today." "...a chance to right our wrongs, to try and correct our mistakes..." "[ Sighs ]" "I don't know who I am anymore." "Not anybody I ever thought I'd " "I'd be." "I try and make the right choices for Meredith..." "The kids, you." "And, um..." "I'm angry all the time." "I'm miserable, and I don't know what to do with it." "All I do is hurt people." "The last people I want to hurt, and I just..." "I just can't get control of it." "I don't know what to do anymore." "I know how you feel." "We call it rock bottom." "...a chance to try and start over from scratch."