"Previously on ER" "Where'd she go?" "Kisangani" "How long will she be gone?" "I hope just a couple weeks." "Everyone seems to think I'm better suited for the lab." "God forbid you disappoint them." "Mom, guess what?" "Dad's here." "I failed my boards." "What?" "You're going to be with yuri and me." "We're looking at the effects of ketamine on cerebral ischemia and tissue damage in mick" "What's happening to her?" "!" "That's gonna be ok." "Just give the medicine a chance to work." "That wasn't a real seizure." "The eeg doesn't lie." "I'm Abby Lockhart from psychiatry." "I don't need a shrink." "I'm fighting to keep my son." "Abby Normal" "The judge also said early july's looking good for a court date." "July?" "I'm trying to make it sooner." "Now, about the exchange this afternoon." "I need another day." "Kerry... get me another day." "Until the court determines a permanent arrangement, you get two weekends a month..." "It's not enough ...at the discretion of the lopezes" "I get to see my son at their "discretion." Does that make any sense to you?" "The worst thing you could do would be to violate the judge's order just as we're about to go into a custody hearing." "Mrs. Lopez will pick him up here at noon." "This isn't right." "No, it isn't." "But you'll get him back in two weeks, and until then, you have to find a way to live with it." "Ok?" "Daddy!" "Daddy!" "John?" "What if watson had listened?" "Where would we be?" "No double helix, no genome theory, no dolly the sheep." "The other way around, I believe." "Watson was a skeptic." "She's right." "Just get another elisa cooking." "I've got one here." "It is the right antibody?" "What are you doing?" "Starting over a new set-up with a fregp pair of hands." "Great, just what we need:" "another med student with ocd." "Oh, don't even bother." "We've checked all the reagents and run this assay I don't know how many times." "Seventeen." "17 times." "18's my lucky number." "Why are you using a human anti-xiap antibody with a murine substrate?" "Your protocol says to use anti-m-xiap, but this eppendorf says anti-H." "You sure this is the right reagent?" "Do you have a boyfriend?" "What's that?" "Mnemonics." "I'm studying for the boards." "You haven't taken them yet?" "Well, I liked them so much, I figured I'd do it again." "Always go with tb." "Hmm?" "If tb's an answer option, it's usually right." "Looks like they're ready for you in there." "Morning, dear." "Good morning." "Okay, stanley's here." "George is here..." "Hey, hey, who is he?" "We met last week." " No." " I don't remember." "I sat right there." "We don't remember you." "George was referred by the ER." "He has a problem with... exhibitionism." "Let's see it." "I was over-sexualsued at a young age." "Join the club." "I also have manic tendencies." "Who's Larry?" "Hello, Larry Jacobsen ... sad guy ... talks about death a lot?" "It ain't just talk." "What?" "He killed himself." "He took a bunch of pills, drank a bottle of gin, slit his wrists, and jumped into lake michigan." "Larry really wanted to be dead." "Oh." "Man, I..." "I..." "Don't worry, dear." "You're really very good at this." "Yeah." "Everybody loves your sessions." "Yeah, everybody except larry." "No, no, coach is fine." "Uh..." "I'm traveling with a baby." "Do you have a row with an empty middle seat?" "Do I need to book that right now?" "Okay, just hold." "Hold on." "Elizabeth." "I hope I didn't catch you at a bad time." "I tried calling earlier, but I got the machine." "I-I-I forgot to check the messages." "I have ella's baby things." "Come in." "I took out all the girlie clothes." "Um... there are some bibs, hats, pants, booties." "My parents went mad for booties after ella was born." "Oh, this is one of my personal favorites." "Are you going somewhere?" "I have a friend in seattle she is a cardiosologist I met in med school, and she's just dying to meet henry." "Oh." "You need a passport to fly to seattle now?" "Yeah, I lost my license." "Thank you for dropping these off." "Are you all right?" "I'm fine." "Uh, well, how long will you be gone?" "When will you be back?" "I'm not sure." "Kerry, don't do anything that you might regret later." "Thanks for the clothes." "Mr. Podell, what were you doing walks down Michigan Avenue with a sword?" "There were no buses." "Okay, I was more interested in the sword part." "The enemy is coming." "But I osll overwhelm him." "When he's thinking of mountains..." "What happened with the blood?" "Ask him." "What happened with the blood?" "I was practicing for the battle royale." "On yourself?" "No, my guinea pig." "His name was cookie." "Thank you... for clearing that up." "Borderline call, but I'd recommend taking him upstairs." "Gee, you think?" "..." "Morris, 29-year-old woman with 15 minutes tonic-clonic activity." "This isn't the first time she's had this." "Pulse ox: 98." "Gave her two of ativan en route." "Any fever?" "Did she fall down, hit her head?" "No, nothing like that." "Another two of ativan, and prep a gram of dilantin." "Wait, hold it." "Hold it." "She doesn't need ativan." "Abby, she's in status." "Did we see you last time?" "I tried to talk to your wife, mister..." "Dunn" "Dunn" "Leh, take them to trauma one." "We'll be right there." "She's having factitious seizures." "Come again?" "She came in the same way last week, and the eeg was negative." "You mean she's faking?" "No, it's a conversion disorder." "Was she hospitalizki?" "No, they took off before we should admit her." "Can I try the husband again?" "We'll up the oxygen and run some saline." "Bp's 120 palp." "Shh." "It's okay, caroline." "No tongue biting or incontinence." "All right, let's up the o2 to five liters, and run in 500cc's of saline." "Saline?" "Let's see if it helps." "Is this the first seizure she's had since last week?" "No, no." "She's been having three or four a dasé they usually stop after a while, but not this time." "Pupils equal and reactive." "Mr. Dunn, can we speak outside?" "Jordan?" "Jordan, squeeze my hand." "It's stopping." "Is she okay now?" "For now, yeah." "She needs a neurologist." "Your wife's condition is not neurological." "What she's having what we call pseudo-seizures." "We have been through this." "Did that look to you like she was faking?" "Not,***** Last time jordan was here, she had a normal head ct and eeg." "Wait." "Are you a psychiatrist or an er doc?" "I'm a med student, actually." "C-could I talk to a real, live doctor?" "Of course you can." "But any doctor's going to tell you the same thing I'm telling you," "But is if you want your wife to get better, she needs to be hospitalized, and the only bed she's going to get is in the psych ward." "Abby, do you have a minute?" "Sure." "Hi, Dr. Nelson, please." "Have you spoken with Kerry lately?" "Uh-uh." "She was in this morning, but she left pretty quickly." "I'm concerned, and frankly I don't know who else to talk to about it." "Is something wrong?" "Hi, uh, could you ask him to come down to the er?" "Lockhart." "I'm admitting a patient." "Thanks." "She seems extremely dighressed." "Well, she's in mourning." "I know, but I'm worried she's thinking of running off with him." "With henry?" "Maybe you should call her." "Me?" "I tried talking to her, but I couldn't seem to get through." "Well, I'm sympathetic, but maybe we should ask someone who's, you know, a closer friend." "Right." "Like who?" " Hey." " Hey." "Are you doing?" "Good." "How's alex?" "He wants to know if you got that plagza screen yet." "No, not yet." "Sorry I haven't called, but I've just been, you know, trying to figure stuff out with Steve." "Sure" "I don't think he'll be staying too much longer." "We're not together, you know me and Steve." "He sleeps on the couch." "Sam, there's a woman in one admitted for seizing." "Can you let me know if her husband's looking for me?" "See you later?" "Yeah." "How's it going?" "Never better." "Oh, my god!" "What did you do?" "Oh, not much." "Painted, redid the paneling." "I hung up those art deco light fixtures that you liked from marshall field'S." "Wait till u see the nursery." "Did you operate the screwdriver yourself, Mr. Fix-it?" "Hey, I'm a nesting father-to-be." "I'll go to any lengths." "So, this is our home." "I wasn't sure if you were coming in or not." "Neither was I." "Henry's grandmother is coming to pick him up." "I just..." "Um... well, why don't you wait here and I'll come and get you when she shows up?" "No, you have your psych rotation." "Yeah, but I'm waiting on my supervisor," "I'm going to be down here for a while" "I'm not sure I can do this." "Kerry, I know this part sucks, but he's going to end up with you." "You're saying I'm not really sick?" "No, we saying that we believe the cause of your illness may be psychological." "Well, I've never had any trouble like that." "I've never even been to a shrink." "That's what I told her." "If you continue to have seizures, there's a real..." "I don't want to go to the psych ward." "I'm not crazy." "No one's saying that." "But you'll be safe up there until we can figure this thing out, and then after that, you can go wherever you need to go to get healthy." "Look, you can go home and risk injuring yourself or your baby or you can come upstairs." "Okay" "I'll be back to take you up." "Perception of a psychiatrist, bedside manner of an er doc and the empathetic eyes of an overworked nurse." "Ooh, yeah, I'm the whole package." "All I have to do is actually pass my boards." "Are you Abby?" "Yep." "I'll be right up." "Are you going to get my grandson for me?" "Yes, I'll tell Dr. Weaver that you're here." "No, they asked me to look for you I thought maybe Kerry's trying to avoid us." "No, she's expecting you." "Well, then, should we follow you?" "No, can you just wait right here, please?" "Why, is there a problem?" "No." "Because we're here on time." "She'll be right out." "Is she here?" "Where is Henry?" "I asked you to wait outside Mrs. Lopez." "And I asked where is she?" "You're going to have to wait at the front desk." "If the baby is not in our custody in ten minutes, Dr. Weaver will be in breach of a court-ordered agreement." "***" "Jerry, where's Weaver?" "Haven't seen her." "Why are you telling me this?" "Because if you're doing anything to help her avoid us, I'll come back here with an officer of the court." "All right, you shut up." "Kerry." "He likes to be held up to the sky." "Mm, what is that?" "Mm it's from the er." "I was hoarng for a puppy, but I don't see any air holes." "It's big." "And heavy." "Uh-oh." "No." "It's nooooot." "It's another crib." "Hey, are we having twins?" "You saw the sonogram." "All right, I got to get going." "Where?" "I got a board meeting." " Oh, yeah." "Right" " I told you." "Here." "Let me." "Oh, my god, John." "We're having a boy." "Yeah, I think you mentioned that." "What is this?" "What?" "You having a little prenatal jitters?" "Well, you don't think that maybe we..." "What?" "we rushed into this." "Of course we did." "But we didn't, uh, overanalyze it." "We didn't reexamine it." "We didn't overthink it." "We just ird it 'cause it felt right." "This is a life that we're responsible for." "You and me." "We're ready." "Are you ready?" "Hey, you want to come with me, see the house one last time?" "I don't think I need that." "You'd see me ruffle a few feathers." "I don't think I need that, either." "You could meet my father." "Your father?" "Jordan, Nick, this is Ken Sung." "He's the social worker I told you about." "Another expert." "He's here to talk to you about how things are going at home." "So I understand you had a baby recently." "Caroline." "That can be a hard transition." "Have the two of you been getting along?" "I've answered that about 20 times." "We're good." "Uh, I'm self-employed right now, so I'm home to help with the diapers and everything." "I think he'd nurse her if he could." "And financial stress?" "We hired a nanny, but that's getting a little too expensive." "Our neighbor Frances gives us a hand." "Jordan, are you concerned about your ability to look after Caroline?" "What do you think?" "As long as I'm sick, I can't hold her." "I can't take care of her." "So you do want to get better?" "What kind of question is that?" "Sometimes, patients get sick and they feel safer or more protected in a hospital environment." "No, no, no, no." "She wants to get better." "Yeah, it's all I think about." "You're just another person who think I'm faking, aren't you?" "That's what you all think." "That's not true." "Then how come you can't fix it?" "She can be treated as an outpatient, but that's where things that kind of dicey for me." "If she doesn't get better, then I'd have to file a report with the state." "You put her in the system it'll make everything worse." "There's a potential danger to the baby." "What if she has a seizure while she's nursing, or carrying it down a flight of stairs?" "I'm aware of that, Ken, but she's not a child abuser." "My job is to protect the baby." "Is that how you'd approach it if she had epilepsy?" "And was non-compliant with the treatment?" "Sure as hell." "Okay, ok, ok..." "what if I can get her condition under control before she leaves?" "If she stops having seizures?" "Yeah, then there's no more danger." "And nothing for me to worry about." "Kem." "This is my father." "Hello!" "It's my pleasure." "It's so nice to finally meet you." "Well, yes, you, too." "Well, we'd better get in there, John." "Hello, everyone." "This is Makemba Likasu." "She's going to be sitting in." "I apologize, I don't know all your names, and introductions would take all day, so... first item on the agenda." "Northwestern has agreed to take over the management of the house and the property for use as an institute of advanced health studies." "You're selling mother's house?" "Donating it." "It will serve as a conference center for various public health issues and housing for visiting scholars and experts on foundation fellowships." "I don't understand." "Which part?" "This foundation was expressly created by your grandfather to support arts and cultural institutions." "And that's what we've been doing for almost 50 years." "Well, time for a change then." "You're going to unilaterally overturn the legacy your grandparents left behind?" "I'm not overturning anything." "I'm simply redirecting some resources into other worthy causes." "What gives you the right?" "My grandmother's will gives me the right." "But if you don't believe in what I'm doing here, maybe it's time you stepped aside." "Next." "Millicent dies, you run off halfway around the world, disappear for months, only to come back like some sort of avenging angel, with a pregnant african girl in tow." "Her name is Kem." "Are you back using drugs?" "Hey, I made lunch." "Thank you, but I have to be going." "Oh, dad, stay a while." "Come on." "Thanks." "I can't." "She left the money to me." "She left the house to me." "She trusted me to make the right decisions for the future." "I doubt she'd agree that's what you're doing now." "Pleasure meeting you." "I look forward to getting the wedding announcement." "Glad I came?" "Really smoothed out those rough edges, eh?" "The soda machine stole my money." "Sorry, George." "What are you going to do about it?" "Hello, I'm here to see the Dunns." "I'm their neighbor, Frances Burkett." "Hi." "They're in Jordan's room." "It's right through here on the left." "Can you believe a dollar for a soda?" "And then no soda." "Do we have to keep having the same conversation, George?" "Kirkland is all set in two." "Younons getting his iv meds in the treatment room." "Do you have a hammer?" "Why don't you watch tv for a little while?" " I don't want to watch tv." "In one hour of tv.." "I don't want whiter whites." " Mr. Dunn in with jordan?" "Yeah, and their neighbor brought the baby by for a visit." "How's the studying going?" "Microcytic anemias." "Dr. Nelson." "Please, we need some help in here!" "Oh, my god." "Oh, no, no, no." "I got you, got you." "That's it." "I'm signing her out." "This isn't working." "Calm down, Mr. Dunn." " I want you to call different doctors." "I want a neurologist down here right now." " Can you just please wait outside?" " No I'm not going anywhere" " Your frustration could be exacerbating the seizure." "Wait in the hall." "It's okay, Jordan." "Jordan, it's okay." "When was her last one?" "Two days ago, also while he was visiting." "Looking for a stressor?" "Maybe he's right over there." "Yeah, but she was fine yesterday when he was here." "So what's the difference between then and now?" "The baby." "We need to get her talking about her past, her childhood." "Why won't it stop?" "I just want it to stop." "I was doing some patties and I start to space out." "Got my feet tangled up and started to slip." "Caught myself by putting my hands on the grill." "This was at home?" "No, I work nights at a burger joint." "Dr. Pratt's on the way." "Does he need an iv?" "No, just 50 of benadryl po, six of im morphine and thermazine dressings." "If you patch me up, I can finish my shift." "I don't think that's going to happen." "I need that job?" "All right, what have we got?" "Elgin Gibbs, 17, burnt his hands on a grill." "Elgin, what's poppin', man?" "'Sup, doc?" "No bullae or charred areas." "Nothing circumferential." "That good?" "You're golden." "Dr. Pratt." "Whoa." "Your bp were your iq, you'd be a genius." "Too high?" "His pulse is normal, so it can't be from the pain." "You're too young to have high blood pressure, so what's the deal?" "I don't know." "You using something?" "Meth?" "Coke?" "Ephedra?" "No way." "Look, there's no cops here." "I'm just trying to get you fixed up." "I don't do that stuff." "Okay, be right back." "Add a tox screen." "I bet you 20 bkfks it comes back positive." "I'm sorry." "Iome got to run over to the lab." "I shouldn't be more than 20 minutes or so." "What?" "I have some mouse brain slices defatting in ethanol that have to be removed in exactly three hours for cresyl violet staining." "We've got a sick kid here." "Those mice are already dead." "The experiment is time-sensitive." "Hey, are you an er doc or not?" "Last time checked, but you're not the first one to ask." "Oh, sorry." "You off?" "You on?" "I've been meaning to call you." "Yeah, me, too." "I'll try you tomorrow." "Yeah." "You should deal with your slides and go home, Neela." "I'm working in the er." "Then get back down there fast." "Yuri, say something." "Three minutes total silence." "Maybe I need to up the dose." "Talk to me, man." "You're always so nonverbal." "Colin, is he okay?" "He's more than okay." "Where did you get that monitor?" "Dog lab." "Dude, she should leave." "It's okay, man." "It's all good." "It is not all good." "What's going on?" "It's a supplemental study we're working on." "Ketamine had a lot of potential applications." "Like for getting high." "I've heard that." "No, no." "We're psychonauts astronauts of the mind." "We're explorers." "Ketamine disrupts downstream gaba-ergic connections." "Gives usabccess to places we don't normally have access to." "And it leads also severe hallucinations and dysphoria." "We always control the dose." "One of us stays sober to record vitals, observational data, subjective experiences." "The unconscious is the final frontier." "So it gets under the external inhibitors?" "Yep, that's right." "No more ego overlay." "The real you." "The real me?" "Can I trust you?" "Of course you can." "I'm scared." "What if I don't get better?" "If I can never hold my baby again?" "Jordan, I know this is difficult, but you just have to try very hard." "You have to..." "I told you, I am trying." "You keep pushing." "I don't know what you want from me." "Well..." "Okay, at some level, we're all the same." "We all have things we hide, things we keep buried." "Like what?" "What do you keep buried?" "This is not about me." "You want me to tell you things, to trust you, but you don't have to say anything?" "Is that fair?" "Don't you trust me?" "Okay." "I can't follow through." "On what?" "On anything." "Once something gets in my way, it's like a-a chemical reaction I just shut down and I give up." "I'm just looking for an excuse to stop because in the end it's easier to do that than to risk being hurt or disappointed again." "You mean with men?" "Men, my career, my family." "Pick your poison." "So that's me." "Well, your family must be proud that you're becoming a doctor." "Yeah." "Okay." "Well, that's enough for today." "You don't have to go." "I know." "Well, we can talk some more tomorrow." "I..." "I had a baby eight years ago." "His name was Charlie." "You have another child?" "I did." "Before I met Nick." "Uh... when Charlie was two months old, he stopped breathing." "I'm sorry." "The paramedics came and worked on him, and the er doctors, but they couldn't do anything." "He died the same night." "What caused it?" "They said it was sids." "Why didn't you mention this before?" "I don't know." "Don't you see the relevance?" "No." "That was just a terrible thing that happened a long time ago." "I love you, Neela." "Yes, I know." "You rock." "Yes, I do." "You're curious, aren't you?" "I can tell." "I prefer to leave the real me buried under my inhibitors for the time being." "You're the coolest med student we've had up here all year." "Oh." "Tachycardia." "Mild side effect." "It'll resolve soon." "DON'T." "188." "He should've normalized by now." "Do you feel all right?" "Um, heart's pumping a bit, but I'm okay." "P waves." "Do you see any p waves?" "P waves?" "Narrow complex." "Lie down" "Huh?" "What?" "Get on the floor." "Hey, babe, don't skip all the foreplay now." "He's fine." "He's in svt." "What?" "Supraventricular tachycardia, do you have chest, pain, dizziness?" "No." "Any medical conditions?" "Wpw." "But it's no biggie." "It's just a short circuit in my heart." "You idiot!" "Whoa, whoa, whoa." "You're making a big deal out of nothing." "His bp's 95/60, no response to carotid sinus massage." "Okay, we're going to the er." "Bear down." "You told me you were gonna be 20 minutes." "I was." "That was almost an hour ago." "I know." "Take the gi bleeder in two." "We're jammki up and I need to push charts." "I'm sorry." "We need the monitored bed." "Who's that?" "What's with the iv and the monitor?" "It's not working." "I can still feel it." "Hello." "Somebody better tell me what's going on." "He's in svt." "Won't break with vagal maneuvers." "We need a bed." "I thought we were going to keep this quiet." "Who is he?" "Who are you?" "It started up in the lab." "History of wpw." "Up in the lab?" "Yeah, uh, we have special projects on the side." "You boys in the mouse house doing experiments on human subjects now?" "It's really starting to hurt now." "90/55." "Adenosine?" "What's that do?" "Blocks the a-v node." "It can lead to v-fib if there's anterograde conduction throught the by pass tract." "Six of adenosine going in." "Jam in the flush." "Still svt." "Go again." "Double the dose." "I got the paddles." "You're gonna shock him?" "Hopefully not." "Charge to 50 sync." "12 migs." "Mother of god!" "Did his heart stop?" "Just aanlitch in his conduction system." "Normal sinus." "Feel better?" "Yeah." "I think." "Tox screen back on elgin gibbs." "Burnt hand kid in two." "Okay, thanks." "'O get him registered and start a chart." "Exam four is open." "He doesn't need a chart or anything." "We'll just get out of your way." "Hey, man, you could revert back into svt at any time." "Neela, you didn't say anything about registering." "Let me guess." "Whatever you geeks were doing up there was strictly illegal." "No, it's, it's..." "legitimate science... word." "Did you just say "word" to me?" "Uh, well, uh, it wasn't exactly authorized." "So we're saving lives, and you're up there playing jekyll and hide?" "You wanna tell me what it was?" "We just... we don't want to get kicked out." "Forget it." "Just hang down here for 20 minutes." "Then you can get back to wiring electrodes to your nuts for all I care." "Thanks, man." "Sorry about all this." "Hey, what's up, e?" "'Sup, doc?" "How you doing, man?" "About the same." "Well, we got some good news." "Your tox screen came back negative." "I told you it would." "Yeah, you did." "I'm gonna give you something for the pain." "Just take one if you can't sleep." "Otherwise, stick to the tylenol and leave that dressing alone until you come back for a wound check." "Dr. Pratt, are you have a minute?" "Maybe in a minute, I might." "Hey." "Hello again." "Elgin." "Right." "Why don't you recheck his bp?" "So you think I can go back to work tonight?" "No, not for a few days." "Is somebody coming to pick you up?" "Probably my mom, but most likely she'll bring along the kids." "Oh, you got brothers and sisters?" "Four of 'em." "I'm the oldest." "My mother works the graveyard so she can be with the little ones in the day." "And I work nights to do what I can." "What about your pops?" "Never met him." "So your siblings, their father...?" "You know how it is, two different fathers..." "Either one of them help out?" "C.C. used to, but he went away and I never met the other guy." "Bp's stiyy high: 162/94." "Well, at least you're consistent, E. I don't know." "Maybe it's just whitecoat fever." "What's that?" "Fear of doctors I even get it myself from time to time." "We'll recheck it when you come back." "All right, doc." "Mm." "Have you ever seen hypertension in a kid that age?" "What do you care?" "You got mice to impregnate." "Have I done something wrong?" "You tell me gallant's in a war zone, and you're off playing madame curie." "I never asked michael to cover for me, and I feel terrible about what happened." "Oh, yeah?" "I think he feels worse." "Look, I don't think it's right for you to hold me responsible... look, my friend took a hit, and he's gone, but you're here running around doing everything under the sun except er medicine." "Now, if that's how it's going to be, then fine, but hurry up and decide." "You're taking up space." "Pudding and tea." "Yum." "I don't like that tapioca they give us." "Well, I'll put a special request in." "From now on, nothing but chocolat" "I'd like to talk some more about Charlie." "Come on, Abby." "I told you what happened." "But you didn't tell me how you felt, how you reacted to losing him?" "How would you react?" "I think I would need to talk to somebody." "Did you get any counseling?" "I didn't need someone to tell me how to cry." "If you can't talk about this, you won't get past it." "I'm already past it." "Well, the mind is very complicated, and I think yours is playing a trsgk on you." "What, that I'm sick because of something that happened eight years ago?" "I think there's a lot more going on in there than you realize." "And there is a medication I can give you that can help us learn more about what you're feeling and thinking." "You mean bourbon?" "It's called amytcx." "It's given intravenously." "It makes you kind of sleepy, but it opens you up." "And once you reach that drowsy state, I would ask you some questions, and we'll see if we can learn something we don't already know." "Would you be willing to do that?" "How long has he been in there?" "About half an hour." "Do you have an extra p-20?" "Yuri's this close to his phd, you know?" "He's first author on a paper coming out in stroke next month." "Maybe he'll just get reprimanded." "Maybe." "Maybe this'll teach you guys to cut that crap out." "Shut up, man." "It's a laboratory, not a playground." "He's an idiot." "He doesn't get it." "The nmda receptor is the key to understanding the neuro-psychiatric filters that separate us from our unconscious." "I don't say anything, you know." "It's cutting edge stuff." "I don't think anyone downstairs did eher." "I like you guys." "I really do." "I like working up here." "It's weird, but in some ways, I'm much more comfortable here." "Social work is talking about placing restrictions on her access to the baby, and her insurance coverage runs out in threkadays." "Sorry, can't do it." "Look, conventional therapy with Jordan could take months to break through." "Sodium amobarbitol is just a way to jump-start the process, try to get to the core issue of her conversion reaction." " I'm glad to see you're so thoroughly prepared for the boards, but this is not the standard of care." " I know..." "I know it's not a cure." " It's like getting a girl into bed when she's plastered." "Not a good thing in the morning." " That's an interesting analogy, doctor." "Maybe we could talk about that another time." "There are plenty of mothers of sids babies who don't have a conversion disorder." "Exactly, so there's got to be more going on here that she can't access, certainly not in the next three days, which is why we should use the drug." "It's hocus-pocus." "Abby, even if it does work, it could destroy the therapeutic bond you've established." "She wants to do it." "Did you tell her it's not safe, that there are serious risks if the dose is not titrated correctly?" "She knows, and we'll have an anesthesiologist there." "No." "I'm not signing off." "You have to find another way." "I can already did." "Dr. Henriksen approved." "Henriksen?" "What is he, 80 years old?" "He'd sign off on a lobotomy if you asked him to." "He was also in the army, where he saw amytal used successfully a number of times" "Good enough in 1958, good enough now?" "In cases of combat stress reaction." "Is it better to let them take her kid away?" "Another 25 q five to ten minutes." "How you feeling, Jordan?" "Like I'm floating." "What do you want to talk about?" "How'd you meet nick?" "I couldn't find a token for the el, and he offered me one if I gave him my number." "So, as this gets going, she may say things which will surprise you or upset you." "I-it won't hurt her, will it?" "We won't let that happen." "Two years." "He's a great guy." "He is." "How 'bout you?" "Ever been married?" "I'm divorced." " Kids?" " Nope." "And what about you?" "You just have the one, right?" "Yeah, Caroline." "Charlie's gone." "That must've been hard." "The doctors, the paramedics..." "They kept saying it wasn't my fault." "It wasn't my fault." "Jordan, can you tell me about the moment you realized there was something wrong with Charlie?" "Jordan?" "Is she breathing?" "Jordan, you all right?" "Do we have to stop?" "It's okay." "Okay." "Was holding him." "Tell me what happened." "Jake worked all night at the bar... and we had a fight that morning." "And he said that I couldn't do anything right..." "I was a lousy lay..." "I couldn't cook..." "I couldn't keep the baby quiet..." "Did Jake heart you?" "He hit me." "He hit me a lot." "What about that morning?" "He was asleep in the bedroom." "then the baby started crying, and I was scared what Jake would do if he woke up." "So..." "Were you trying to keep the baby quiet?" "He kept crying." "I bounced him." "I held him, I gave him my breast, but he kept crying." "And then Jake..." "Jake started yelling" "And throwing things, and he said he was going to come out and kill us both." "So I held Charlie tight." "He was wrapped in a blanket, and I held him tight for a long time." "I just kept saying," ""shh, peewee, shh." "You got to be quiet now..."" "..until he fell asleep." "I thought he was asleep." "I thought he was just sleeping." "It's okay, Jordan." "You were afraid." "But I held him..." "I held him too tight." "And you're afraid you're going to do that again?" "Hey, we're not in right now, but leave a message for Kerry, Sandy or Henry after the beep." "Kerry, it's Elizabeth." "Uh, you haven't been in to work, and I wanted to run the montqxy morbidity stats." "Damn." "Kerry, how are you?" "Look, I-I know how dreadful it is when-when someone you love... isn't there... so if there's anything I can do," "anything at all... please, please call me." "Okay." "Bye." "I hope this is going to work out, Abby." "I think it will." "What do you mean?" "The seizures are going to stop; trust me." "That's not what I meant." "She's responsible for the death of a child." "I can't just ignore it." "Wait a minute." "Wait a minute." "You-you-you said..." "I said that if she posed no further potential harm, there'd be nothing to file, but I can't in good conscience say that right now." "She was a battered woman, Ken." "It's not going to happen again." "She's a good mother." "I'll monitor the family." "I'll keep cps apprised, and we'll see how it goes from there." "How's the husband?" "It's a shock to him, but I think he's relieved." "What you did... was good medicine." "Might've been better if I just left it alone." "It was a tough situation, but you got to the truth." "That's always good." "Well, too bad the truth is so messed up." "You know, the cafeteria's still open if you're hungry." "I could, uh, drill you on developmental milestones, that kind of stuff." "The boards are laced with it." "Too late." "Too late?" "Why?" "Got to go." "Lockhart, Abby." "Candidate identification number." "Keep it with you at all times during the examination." "You must enter your cid in order to begin." "Once you start a tesiablock, you may not take a break until the block is completed."