"People should be dropping in anytime now." "We still have to pick out her clothes." "Veda's at the Pierces'?" "They offered to take her." "Pop insisted he stand all the expenses, too." "Can I get you anything, Bert?" "A drink?" "Not right now, Lucy." "Well, it's right there, and I'm right here." "Thanks." "All right, baby." "Mamma's listening." "I have no black dress." "I'll get you one." "Size twelve?" " Ten." " A veil?" " You think I should?" " I wouldn't." "You stay." "I got it, Bert." "She's in heaven, Mildred." " Delivery for Mr. and Mrs. Pierce." " Thanks." "She's gotta be in heaven." "She was the sweetest, most... perfect kid." "If ever a kid deserved to be in heaven, it's Ray." "Of course she is." " Veda." " Veda, darling..." "Mother, where were you?" "I told you, I was visiting friends in Santa Barbara." "Had I known, I never would have gone." "Never." "We should go in." "Yeah." "Mrs. Abernathy." "Mother Abernathy, so good of you to come." "Bert Pierce." "Thank you." " Hello, dear." " Hello, Grandmother." " Hello, Mother." " Mildred." "My dear." "Thank you so much for bringing her." "Mildred..." "Oh God, accept our prayers on behalf of the soul of Moire, through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen." "Amen." "It's six more than I ordered." " Sorry, Ma'am." " These two aren't even plucked properly." "Nice looking, though." "All right, I'll take those." "Two parsley..." "A bag of onions..." "We have lettuce." "We have cabbage." "Twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty." "That's thirty in bills and ten in change." "Thank you." "Hello?" "Uh, they fit all right, no?" "It looks wonderful." "Everything does." "There's something else you're gonna like, too." "Wally, what are you doing here?" "Well, give me a minute, and I might just show you." "Arline?" "Isn't it a little early to be stocking the pie case?" "Quiet down, I'm trying to show you something." "Now, keep in mind, this whole operation only cost me two bucks and eleven cents." " Ready?" " I'm ready." "Ta-da!" " Huh?" " Ha, what do you think?" "It's beautiful!" "When did you ever find the time to come..." "Well, last week, when you were..." "Anyway, slipped in at nights and worked on it." "It ought to sell pies, though." " And get a free dinner." " Oh, never mind that." "A free dinner and second helpings." "Pancho, if you'll unload the car with Letty," "Arline and I can get started in the kitchen." " Wally, thank you..." " Oh, go get cooking." "♪ Peanuts... ♪" "♪ ln Cuba each merry maid ♪" "♪ wakes up with this serenade: ♪" "♪ Peanuts... ♪" "♪ Fresh roasted." "They're nice and hot. ♪" "♪ Peanuts... ♪ The way half chickens are served in most places, in one loathsome piece, ♪ Fresh roasted I sell a lot... ♪" "I just hate." "♪ If you haven't got bananas don't be blue. ♪" "How are people supposed to eat it that way?" "♪ Peanuts in a little bag are... ♪" "Well, we're going to serve it in pieces." "♪ Calling you... ♪" "Breast, wing, second joints, and drumstick." "All arranged in the icebox, so we can pick up a single portion with one motion." "Truth is..." "I'm not expecting many people since it's my first night, and I haven't had a chance yet to build up my trade." "But, if you should be rushed, get their orders." "I've got to know whether I'm having vegetables or waffle before I can start, so don't keep me waiting." " Call them both?" " Call the waffle, only." "Call biscuits?" "No." "I'll keep biscuits out all the time, just pick them up yourself." "Pick up your own bread and your own biscuits." "Bread on a plate, biscuits in a basket." "And remember, biscuits call for a napkin to keep them hot." "Three biscuits per person, more if they want them." "And, remember, you're responsible for desserts, too." "I know, desserts and starters." " Desserts and starters." " That's right." "Desserts and starters." "Pancho!" "So remember, dip the soup yourself." "Mmm-hmm." "And, um, starters, everyone gets a starter." "Oh, Pancho, do we have any extra napkins?" "Um, I don't think so." " You don't, at all?" " Mmm-mmm." " People." " How many?" "Four." "Four at number nine, soups all around, two and two, one waf." "Fine." "But don't call soup, just dip it up yourself." "Oh, right." "Put this on." "Honey, use your..." " Good evening." " Hello." "Thank you so much for coming tonight." "My name is Mildred and this is not only our very first night," " but you are our very first guests." " Oh." "So, I do hope you end up liking our little place and keep on being our guests." "Thank you, I'm sure we will." "Why, how do you do?" " Hi." " Waffles." "Mr. Sawyer, Mrs. Sawyer!" "Please." "This is so nice." "Thank you." "Delicious chicken!" "Thank you." "And don't forget, there are homemade pies, as well you might like taking home with you." "Oh, I think we should." "Two at number three, but one of them's a kid that won't have soup." "So, she wants tomato juice with a piece of lemon and some celery salt." "I told her we don't serve it, but she says it's what she always has." "So what do I do now?" "There's Mother." "By God, Mildred, this is really something." "You got yourself a piece of property this time." "I mean, this place is real." "Bert." " Say there, Wally." " Veda." "I was just about to give these two a tour." "Mildred, I'm telling you." "You're gonna have a mob in here." "That's the thing about direct-mail advertising." "It's not what you send, it's who you send it to." "I hit up every name on that old Pierce Homes list, and I just ran into six different people." "They said they're coming here!" "By the way, you did attend to that transfer of beneficiary?" "On the fire insurance?" "Nah, I thought I'd wait until the joint burned down." "Okay." "Just asking." "I'm telling you." "Mob." "Well, Mother." "I think you've done very well, considering everything." "Well, thank you, Veda." "I was hoping it was something you'd be proud of." "Oh, there's Ida." "Will you all excuse me?" "Mildred!" "Look at you." "My husband wanted to come, but he got a call on a job and had to run." "So I'm solo." "Oh, Mildred, it's just grand." "And the space you got." "You could get two more fours in easy, just by shifting these twos." "And using trays." "You got no idea how much that helps." "It'll save you at least one girl." "At least." "I should get back to the kitchen." "But I'll come visit." "Ah, you go." "Go on." "Two fours just come in, Mrs. Pierce." "I got room for one, but what do I do with the other?" "I can shove two two's together, but not till I get Miss Ida moved out." " No, no!" "Let her alone." " Well, then, what'll I do?" "Seat four, ask the others to wait." "Oh, let me do it." "Excuse me." " Letty!" "Wrong door." " I know, I know." "Thank you so much for coming." "I have one table available now, but if you wouldn't mind waiting, it should just be a couple of moments for another." "All right, then." "I'm sorry there aren't any chairs." "Someone will be with you in a moment." "Excuse me?" "More?" "Thanks." "Why in the world are you washing more plates?" "He's washing plates, Mrs. Pierce, when it's soup bowls I need!" "Because we're all out, and I can't serve any starters without 'em!" "Soup bowls, stupid soup bowls!" "Arline, please, I need you clearing tables." "It's backing up out there." "Oh!" "I'm sorry, Mrs. Pierce." "Just clean it up, then help Arline outside." "Oh!" "Damn!" "Shoot!" "Oh, damn!" "Please, everyone." "Nothing's going out!" "We need to start moving!" "Pancho, if you could..." "Okay, Mildred, it's them dishes that's causing it." "Now she ain't no good out there, none whatever." "So, let her wipe while he washes, and that'll help." "Just give us a second, we'll get this train right back on track." "Okay, call your starters..." " Oh." "Um." " Call your starters." "I want a right and left for two, three, and four." "Chicken and tomato for one, and they've been waiting for several minutes." " So, we better..." " Nah, that's fine." "Let's get a move on." "Hello?" "Anything I can do?" "Lucy!" "No, dear." " Everything's under..." " Sure there is." "Follow me." "Eighty-five cents!" "Everything's eighty-five cents!" "Here's your waffles." " It's just terrific." " Oh, thank you." "I tell you, I haven't had waffles like that since I was a kid." "I love 'em like that." "I'm so pleased." " Mildred?" " Yes." "It's Sally Crough." "Oh!" "Of course." "Mildred, I..." "I was so very sorry to hear about the little one." "Thank you." "Thank you, Mrs. Crough." "I got a four on six, chicken and tomato, two wafs." "And nine won't budge." "Mother!" "Mother!" "Guess who's coming in to your restaurant right this very instant!" " You'll never ever guess!" " Well, who?" "Monty Beragon!" "And who is Monty Beragon?" " Mother, don't you know?" " I guess not." "He plays polo for Midwick and he lives in Pasadena and he's rich and good-looking and all the girls just wait for his picture to come out in the paper." "He's the keenest!" "Say!" "Did she just tell you who came walking in to this place?" "I've never seen her so sassed up." "Oh, I'm telling you, Mildred, if that guy's here, you are in!" "There isn't a restaurant in town that wouldn't pay to have that guy to eat there." "Am I right?" " He's very well known." " Known?" "Hell, he's a shot!" "I just wonder how he got wind of us." "He wasn't on anybody's list." "And I doubt that he reads those Glendale rags." "Evidently, Mildred's reputation as a cook has spread far and wide." "Which seems sufficient reason, in my book, without doing any fancy sleuthing about it." "Yeah, well, I got a notion to find out." "I think..." "Why didn't you tell me about the little girl?" "I don't know." "I couldn't call anybody." "I didn't hear about it until her sister told me just now." "She seems to be quite an admirer of yours." "Well, she's an absolute delight." "But I want you to know, if I'd had any idea about it, you'd have heard from me." "Oh." "I doubt you're in the humor for gags." "Oh, Monty, they're lovely." "Thank you." "Monty," "I'd like you to meet Bert Pierce," " of Pierce Homes, and my..." " Pleasure." "Business adviser, Wally Burgan." " How do you do?" " Monty Beragon." " Oh." "Excuse me." " That's it!" "Everybody out!" "We got two orders up and three waiting, and we're down on biscuits." "Now shoo!" "All right, let's go." " After you." " After you." "Try the chicken yet?" "There you go." "Well, it's oranges, of course." "There it is." "Oh, here, they're coming out." "Thank you so much." "Well, see you then." " Good night." " Good night!" "We made forty-six dollars and thirty-seven cents!" "Forty-seven dollars?" "That's ten more than I ever dreamed of making." "We went through twenty-four chickens..." "I only planned on twenty!" "To the best little woman that any guy was crazy enough to let get away from him." " To Mildred." " You ought to know, you cluck." "Yeah, cut the mush!" "Ah, Mildred, I wish you could have heard the comments." "You got no idea how they went for that chicken." "It's gonna do just grand." "You're quite a little wizard." "I had..." "I had no idea." "Thank you." "And I had no idea how late it was." "Bert, I've gotta take Ida back since she stayed so late." " Could you, uh, could you get her home?" " Sure." "She's got school in the morning." " Do I have to, Mother?" " Yes, you do." " Good night, everyone." " Good night, Mildred." " Thank you!" " Good night." " Oh, Ida..." " Thank you, Lucy." " Oh, you bet, Bert." " Thank you for everything!" "I kind of..." "I found it kind of thrilling." "So, you must tell me, is there..." "Is there a special young man in your life?" "No, I'm much too young for that." "Too young for that?" "Well, what are you talking about?" "See, I would imagine that there would be a hundred young men all lined up around the corner, eagerly waiting to steal a kiss from you." "Ah, well, if you ask me, I think it's perfectly juvenile the way most of them behave..." "What on earth?" "It's all my doing." "We had a date." "Oh, you did?" "Yes, yes." "We had a date that I was to take her home." "So, I did." "But we had to take Pop home first." "Or at least to the..." "Mother!" "We saw..." "We saw Biederhof through the window!" "And they flopped!" "It's true." "I'm sorry." "All right." "All right, young lady." "The time has come." " Good night, Monty." " Ah, good night, my darling." "Sleep well." "Sweet dreams." "Oh, Mother, isn't he wonderful?" "He's terribly nice, yes." "He said I looked so much like you." "He knew exactly who I was." " So you told him about me?" " Of course!" "You appear to have made quite an impression on her." "I've been looking at that damn costume all night, and with great difficulty, restrained myself from biting it." "Now, get it off." "Oh..." " I'm not much in the humor..." " Get it off." "Oh!" "Somehow, they will let a part of their prosperity trickle through to the rest of us." "And the second theory, and I suppose this second theory goes back to the days of Noah..." "Don't you snicker at me." "I'm not." "I'm voting for him because somebody's got to put an end to all this" " Hoover extravagance..." " Of course." "And balance this budget." "And all those people, demanding help." "You can't tell me people couldn't get along, even if there is a depression," " if only they had a little gump." " Yes, ma'am." "You're not even listening to me." "Of course I am." "I..." "I find your political views fascinating." "But we were discussing something else entirely." "Oh, we were, were we?" "Look, all I know is what I hear from the kid." "That'll be one seventy-two." "She takes lessons every week." "Yeah." "From some cheap little ivory thumper over in Glendale." " Here." " Certainly not." "Oh, Monty, please." "You've been too generous." "Just this once." "And what do we mean when we talk about the reduction of poverty?" "We mean, I think, the reduction of the causes of poverty." "Look, it's not up to me to give you advice." "It's really none of my affair." "Monty, please!" "You spend more time with her than anyone these days." "She absolutely adores you." "Well then why not put her with somebody who can really take charge of her?" "Like who, for instance?" "Well, listen." "If you're serious, there's a fellow in Pasadena I think could do wonders." "Charlie Hannen." "He was quite well known up to a few years ago in the concert field, and then his lungs cracked up and he came out here." "What?" "Nothing." "You're swell, that's all." "Yeah, you bet I'm swell." "Monty!" "See what you make me do?" "So how do we get in touch with this..." "Hannen." "He's organist, or choirmaster, whatever you call it, at our church." "But I know he takes in a few pupils." "I'm sure I can get him interested in her." "And in his hands, she'd be getting somewhere." "I always want to play it that way." "I'll tell Rachmaninoff when I see him next." "And you've never studied harmony?" "Just a little." "Just a little what?" "I beg your pardon?" "I might warn you, Veda, with young pupils, I mix quite a bit of general instruction in with the musical." "Now, if you don't want a clip on the ear, you'll call me "sir."" "Yes, sir." "Now, play the bit in the Rachmaninoff again, the way you said you always wanted to play it." "Ha ha." "If you did play it like that you'd be in a little trouble, wouldn't you?" "Still, it could have been written that way." "I really think Rachmaninoff's way is better." "I mean, I find a touch of banality in yours, don't you?" " What's banality... sir?" " I mean it sounds, well, corny." "Cheap." "Play it an octave higher, add a few trills, and it's..." "Listen To The Mocking Bird before you knew it." "Yes, I see." "But it makes musical sense." "Ugh..." "I have plenty of pupils with talent in their fingers, very few with anything in their heads." "Your fingers, Veda..." "Well, your technique is god-awful." "At the very least, we'll get some of that conceit drilled out of you." "But your head is something else." "And your sight reading is remarkable." "That's the sure sign of a musician." "I'd like her over here twice a week, for one lesson in piano and another lesson in the theory of music." "I suppose nothing will come out of it, if we're really honest." "Many are called in this business, few are chosen." "And, God, Veda!" "Your playing stinks!" "I ought to charge a hundred bucks just to have to listen to it!" " Oh, let her bawl." " Veda!" "It's nothing compared to what she'll be doing when I get through with her." "Veda." "Oh, Mother!" "Oh, darling, what is it?" "I was so afraid..." "he wouldn't take me..." "And then..." "And then he wanted me!" "He said I had something in my head." "Mother, in my head!" "Oh, Bert, I wish you could have been there." "Just to see her face and what it meant to her." "You always said Veda was artistic, Mildred." "I just always thought it ran in families, that kind of thing." "Well, it has to start somewhere." "Well, you were right, God damn it!" "Who cares if she can tinkle the keys or not?" "Is that what made Irving Berlin a millionaire?" "Irving Berlin?" "I thought she was going to be a classical musician." "A virtuoso." " More coffee?" " Thanks, doll." "I'm fine." " Can I ask a favor?" " Anything." "I want to borrow the piano at Mom's." "Borrow it?" " You know they'd only be too glad..." " No." "No." "No." "I don't want it as a gift." "It would just be for a little while." "See, I want to get Veda a piano myself." "But the kind of piano she ought to have, I mean, a real grand, costs eleven hundred dollars." "They'll give me terms, but" "I shouldn't be taking on any more debt, not just now." "So, what I'd like to do is open a special account down at the bank." "If I keep putting in, I know by next Christmas, I can manage it." " Sure thing, Mildred." " Thanks Bert." " And don't breathe a word." " Mmm-mmm." "This is preeminently the time to speak the truth, the whole truth, frankly and boldly." "Nor need we shrink from honestly facing conditions in our country today." "This great nation will endure, as it has endured, will revive and will prosper." "So first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself." "Oh!" "Oh, there's Mother." "Nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror, which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance." "Practices of the unscrupulous money changers stand indicted in the court of public opinion, rejected by the hearts" " and minds of men." " Oh, there's Mother." "Excuse me." " They have no vision." " Mother!" "And when there is no vision, the people perish." " Yes, the money changers have fled..." " Really?" "From their high seats in the temple of our civilization." "We may now restore that temple to the ancient truths." "Let me make it clear to you that the banks will take care of all needs, except, of course, the hysterical demands of hoarders, and it is my belief that hoarding, during the past week," "has become an exceedingly unfashionable pastime, in every part of our nation." "It needs no prophet to tell you that when the people find that they can get their money..." "So, you got any plans for Repeal?" "Repeal?" "You mean of Prohibition?" "Yeah, just that." "Why?" "I don't see how it affects me." "You kiddin' me?" "It affects you plenty." "You may not have heard, but folks out there are getting crazy for a drink." "A decent drink out in the open without a secret password, or some yegg with his face in a slot." "You think your trade's gonna stick by you because they like your chicken and they want to help a plucky little woman get along?" "Ha, like hell they will." "When they find out you're staying dry, they'll tag you for a back number and go where they can get what they want." "What, you think I should sell liquor?" "It'll be legal, won't it?" "I wouldn't even consider such a thing." "Why not?" "Do you think I run a saloon?" "Mildred, it's not going to be like it was in the old days." "It's going to be respectable." "It's going to put the restaurant industry back on its feet." "But I don't know the first thing about liquor." "Well, I do." "You might say Ike has a vested interest in the industry." "So listen to this." "You put in the booze and I'll run it for ya, for a straight 10% of what I take in plus tips." "You?" "A bartender?" "Why not?" "I'd make a damned good one." "And how much would all this cost me, in your expert opinion?" "Five hundred, tops..." "For bar, construction, furniture, plus the liquor." "Five hundred dollars?" "Oh, Lucy, I don't know." "This place is going gangbusters." "It's packed every night." "It's just not that simple." "I've got loans." "There's..." "Veda's piano to think about." "I've still barely made a dent." "And then there's..." "There's Monty." "Monty?" "He's flush!" "He looks it enough." "The truth is his business went bust." "Just last month." " What?" " The growers..." "The farmers that raise the fruit, they all signed up with the Exchange." "That's it." "Every dime he had was in that fruit company." "He's had to put his house on the market." "I had no idea." "And you're..." "I'm helping out." "It's only temporary." "He'll land on his feet." "I'll be!" "So I've really gotta do this?" "It's what I'd do." "Next one's legal!" "That's Robert Mackey over there." "I tell you, if that church mouse is in here, Prohibition really has ended." "Your Frankie was right." "I don't want to talk about it." "What is it, 80% profit per drink?" "Happy customers?" "I don't see the question." " Wally says I don't have a choice." " Mmm." "Is that your third drink?" "I don't know." "Who's counting?" " Why?" " Well now I..." "You didn't say anything to Veda, did you, about the piano?" "No." "I can't stand the thought of disappointing her." "Not a word." " Truly?" " Scout's honor." "Let's get out of here." "♪ Gone is the romance and broken the vow... ♪" "♪ We used to be sweethearts but what are we now?" "♪" "♪ Happy-go-lucky you and... ♪" "Could you just run her by after practice tomorrow?" "She knows exactly what she needs." "I won't have time before Sunday." "She doesn't need a new dress to see my mother." "It's not just for that." "Then where?" "Quick sup at the Pie Wagon, or home sweet home?" "Not the Pie Wagon." "Why do you have to call it that?" "Yes, take her to dinner." " I'll meet you after the rush." " Mmm-hmm." "For dinner and gasoline." "Your paid gigolo thanks you." "I don't think that's very nice." "Well it's true, isn't it?" "Is that the only reason you come here?" "What?" "Not..." "Not at all." "Come what may, swing high, swing low, you're still the best piece of tail I ever had or could imagine." "Monty, suppose you go home." "What?" "What's the matter with you?" "I think you know." "By all that's holy, I don't know." "I told you to go." "Baby, let's be straight here." "The time to worry is when those kinds of feelings go bust, not when they're going strong." "I was just paying you a compliment." " What you didn't like was how." " If you told me that and intended it as a compliment, then it might have been one, I don't know." "But when you tell me that and it's the only thing you have to tell me, then it's not a compliment." "It's the worst thing anyone could say." "I get it." "You want the "I love you" scene." "I want you to go." "Oh, we're talking about words." "I'm not a poet." "I..." "I say something my own way and wham, you go moral on me." "It's a pure question of communication, and..." " That's a lie!" " If you don't..." "All I've ever been to you is a piece of tail." "You're ashamed of me!" "It's no surprise." "I've known it all along!" "Why don't you just admit it, Monty?" "You look down on me because I work!" " You're mad." " No!" "You look down on me because I..." "cook food and sell it." "You look down on everybody that works." "But I got news for you." "You're the one that's gonna have to start working!" "Of course I'm gonna work!" "When?" "As soon as I get the damn house sold and that whole mess straightened out." "Oh, Monty..." "You make me laugh!" "There's nothing about that house that can't be put in the hands of an agent." "You'd just rather keep that address on Orange Grove Avenue, where you can cook your own eggs in the morning, drive over to the club in the afternoon, and eat your dinner here with Veda and take your spending money from me" "than go out and find a job." "Who wouldn't?" "Sure," "I don't know anybody I'd rather take money from than you." "Your paid gigolo is damn well satisfied." "There we are." "One for you." " There you are." " Thank you." "And for you." "Want a biscuit?" " Mom?" " Thank you." "Can I please have more?" "Sugar and champagne." "What could go wrong, right?" "And every one of you." "Merry Christmas." " Stop it, Hans!" " Thank you, Mrs. Pierce." " Why do you always have to pick on me?" " Merry Christmas." " Oh, thank you, Mrs. Pierce!" " Thank you." "I'm sorry, Ma'am, I can't understand what you're saying!" "Over the varlets' yulabaloo!" "Just hop on down Mildred's foot stompin' hoedown..." "You know, if it wasn't for the labor force in this country..." "We wouldn't have a country without working men and women!" "It's no use, Mrs. Roosevelt, you might as well save your breath..." "How are people supposed to enjoy themselves with all that yelling going on?" "Oh, they're lovely!" "That is so, so dear of Father!" "Oh!" "Here." "Let me help you." "Oh, I can't wait to go riding!" "Oh, they're very smart." "Aren't they?" "And this is for you, dear." "Best for last!" "What could it be?" "It's so small..." "It's..." "It's not what I was hoping to give you, but it's..." "I think it'll go nicely with school clothes," " as well as with more..." " Thanks." "Veda." " Hello?" " Merry Christmas, Veda!" "Oh, Father!" "I just opened them up and they're wonderful!" "I adore them..." "Well, good." "Do they fit all right?" "Like a dream!" "I'm wearing them right now and I simply refuse to take them off." "I may even sleep in them!" "Thank you so very, very much, Father." "What was that all about?" "Somebody kindly tipped her off." " Not me." " No..." "Not you." "So what did you give her?" " A wristwatch." " Hey..." "She's got nothing to complain about..." "I know." "You'll get her the piano when you can." "Is she coming later to the cemetery?" "I..." "I don't know." "I don't..." "I don't know." "Is that everything?" "You know, you might want to make a list so" " you remember who sent what..." " Christ, I hate this dump." "Is there anything in particular that you object to?" "No, Mother." "And please don't start changing things around just to please me." "No, nothing, in particular." "Just every lousy, stinking part of it." "And if it were to burn down tomorrow, I wouldn't shed a tear." "From The Elixir of Love, by Gaetano Donizetti, 1798-1848." "I see." "You'll put out that cigarette, and pick up that match." "Like hell I will." "Glendale, California." "Land Where the Orange Tree Blows, by Ambrose Thomas." ""Garden Spot of the World?"" "More like a wormhole for grubs!" "I can only guess where that came from." "You are such a sap, Mother." "You actually believe he'd marry you?" "Yes!" ""If I were willing."" "Ye gods and little fishes, hear my cynical laughter..." "If I were willing!" "Stupid, don't you know what he sees in you?" "About what you see, I think." "No, it's your legs." "What?" "He said that to you?" "Why shouldn't he?" "We're very good friends and..." "I hope I have a mature point of view on such matters." "Really, he speaks very nicely about your legs." "And he has a theory about them." "He says that a gingham apron is the greatest provocation ever invented by woman, for the torture of man." "And that the very best legs are found in kitchens, not in drawing rooms." "Ha. "Never take the mistress if you can get the maid," is how he puts it." "Not that he would consider them his equals, per se." "Try as he will at his slumming, his shoes are still custom-made." "They ought to be." "They cost me enough." "You didn't know that, did you?" "You buy his shoes?" " Ye gods and little fishes." " His shoes, and his shorts, and his drinks, and everything else he's needed over the last four months." "Including his polo dues!" "So, you needn't call on your gods and little fishes." "No, Miss Pierce, it's not my legs he likes me for, it's my money!" "And so long as it's that, we'll see who's the varlet and who's the boss." "You think he hauls you all over town because he likes it?" "No." "In fact, he actually complains about it." "Surprising as it may seem, he'll marry me or not marry me so his gentlemanly belly will have something to eat." "And lo and behold, you're in exactly the same position." "And I say there'll be no more money for you, not one cent, until you take back" " everything you've said and apologize for it!" " I?" "I don't have to apologize for anything!" "You're the one who ruins everything, always!" "Ahhh!" "And that's the piano that you're gonna practice on..." " Stop!" " Until I get ready, in my own good time," " to buy you another!" " Ahhh!" "So his phone's down." "Send him a wire, baby." "There's no good reason to go out on a night like this, none." "All things must come to an end, Lucy." "I promised myself it would be tonight and it will be." " Oh, that's all fine and good..." " I'm going!" "That's all there is to it." "Well not without your trench coat and galoshes!" "I had no idea you'd show up!" " What do you mean?" " Careful." "What..." "Slow down." "How the hell did you get here anyway?" "I thought they closed the roads!" "Well..." "You know, Mildred, sometimes I wonder if you have good sense." "How could I refuse such a rare invitation?" "Pretty gloomy, huh?" "Not what it used to be." "It's not so bad upstairs." "Yep, the Beragon brothers' "House of Beragon" has seen better days." " Is your mother still..." " Still in Philadelphia?" "Yes." "It's just up here." "Her bank stock was assessable." "And the depositors, they want their money." "So..." "Until the tide turns..." "Anyway, here we are." "My humble abode." "Why, it's quite nice, actually." "Servants quarters, really, but I liked having a little fire." "It seemed cozier somehow." "Well, get a load of you." "Such grandeur deserves a drink." " Shouldn't we wait for the Ewings?" " The who?" "Isn't that their name?" "The..." "There aren't going to be any Ewings." "Or any Biltmore." "What's gotten into you?" "What do you mean?" "It's New Year's Eve." "Can't you see there's a storm going on?" "A real neck-breaker?" "I didn't see any storm." "Well." "If that's the case, I'm going home." "I'm certainly not in the mood for this." "There's really only one decision you'll be making tonight." " Red pajamas or green pajamas?" " Nope." "I'm going home." "Well, in case you change your mind, I'll leave the green pajamas out" " right next to your drink and you can..." " I haven't left yet." "No, of course you haven't." "I'm inviting you to stay..." "How could you go and tell her those things?" "Tell whom what, if you don't mind my asking?" "You know perfectly well what I'm talking about." "How could you say such things to that child?" "And who gave you the right to talk about my legs anyway?" "Well everyone else does." "Why not me?" " What?" " Well, that's how you like it." "If it wasn't, why you wouldn't have your skirts taken up every time you..." "I don't care what you think!" "It's no conversation for a child!" "Child!" "I don't know how it was where you came from." "Maybe the..." "The sweet young things were told by their mothers at age seventeen and were greatly surprised." "But that kid?" "She knows." "What am I supposed to do?" "Act like a zany when I drive off with you at night and don't bring you back until the next morning?" "You think she doesn't know where you've been?" "Hell, she even asks me how many times." "And you tell her?" "Sure." "She greatly admires my capacity and yours." "Oh..." "Now I see it." "I always thought it was funny that she never invited these Pasadena people to visit her once in a while." "Because you've been filling her up with all this foolishness!" "The best legs are found in kitchens, not in drawing rooms?" "She actually believes Glendale isn't good enough." " And that I'm not good enough!" " Oh, for God's sake." "What invitations are you talking about?" "To my mother's?" "To cocktail parties I've dragged her to?" "Who would expect" " a fourteen-year-old girl..." " There have been plenty of others." " Girls her own age..." " No, actually, there haven't." "Girls her own age, if you haven't noticed, don't interest Veda." "You've set her against me!" "I..." "I..." "I don't care..." "I don't care a bit for all your fine talk!" "You've set her against me!" "You wanna know why Veda never invites anybody to that house of yours?" " No, I don't!" "I'm going home." " You wanna know why nobody ever goes there?" "Because you're afraid to have people come over." "What would you do with them?" "You haven't got the nerve!" "Doesn't it strike you as funny that..." "That Veda has a hundred friends, here, there, everywhere she goes, and you haven't any?" "No, I'm wrong, you have one." "That bartender." "But that's all." "Nobody ever gets invited to your house, nobody." "What..." "What are you talking about?" "How can I give parties or invite people with a..." " With a living to make and a business to run..." " Living, my eye!" "That's your excuse!" "Because nobody but a varlet would give a second's thought to what you've been talking about tonight." "You know, once I thought I was mistaken, that maybe you were a lady, after all." "That was when you handed me that first twenty-dollar bill and I took it." "You see, a lady wouldn't care." "But you..." "Before I'd borrowed even fifty bucks, you had to go and make a chauffeur out of me to get your money's worth." "And rub it in." "Well, no more." "I've taken my last dime off you, Mildred, and God willing, before my sun goes down, I'll pay back every cent of it!" "Ahhh!" "You know what this needs is the crime of rape!" "Mildred!" "Mildred!" "Mildred!" "Mildred!" "Don't be a fool!" "Not in this storm!" "Don't be a damn fool!" "Oh God." "Help!" "Mother!" "What..." "Tomorrow you'll get your piano."