"( male announcer ) Previously on Mad Men..." "When we land Jaguar, the world will know." "Herb Rennet has demanded to spend a night with Joan." "This is some very dirty business." "I wanted to tell you it's not worth it." "Tell them I want a partnership." "Not silent." "I want all the partners here." "First thing tomorrow morning we're going to find you an apartment in the city." " I need you right now." " Megan..." "It's the only thing I'm good for." "I think she just..." "needed her mother." "I'm tired of trying to prove I still have a value around here." "It's what happens when you help someone... they succeed and move on." "Don't you want them to?" "Miss Calvet, could you step in, please?" "You know I love you." "Are you alone?" "( theme music playing )" "( woman screams )" "That's it." " That's it, hang in there." " Woman:" "Oh, my God!" "( siren blaring )" "Woman:" "Oh, my God." "Don's voice:" ""Midway in our life's journey," "I went astray from the straight road and woke to find myself alone in a dark wood."" "Mmm." "Mahalo." "It's still suite 282." "How long has it been?" "Can't get too suntanned, they'll fire me." "Oh, you must have gotten it wet." "Let me see." "You know what?" "Who cares what time it is?" "You would not have liked that." "You wouldn't have liked it at all." "I had to walk down the beach away from the crowds to this surf shop and knock on a door with a closed sign." "It was so seedy down there." "Plus, I had to get my money from here." "Come on." "I know you've tried it, but you haven't had sex high." "It makes it so much more intense." "( laughs )" "( horn blowing )" "( music playing )" "( singing in Hawaiian )" "Everything you see on your plate is what you would find in a royal Hawaiian feast." "That purple pudding is poi." "It's strange, but satisfying." "And we Hawaiians say that it's ono, which means tasty." "But you might just say, "Ono, I'm not eating that."" "( laughs )" "This is real Hawaiian food." "Even the macaroni salad." "But, of course, at the Royal Hawaiian, we try to treat every guest like they're" "Well, everything is better here." "I'm sure it is." "It must take a lot of work to stand out in paradise." "Don, you have to try this." "Oh, don't bother." "It's wallpaper paste." "Just eat the pig." "Emcee:" "Now, while you stay with us at the lovely, beautiful Royal Hawaiian, make sure you see enchanted Diamond Head and all of the natural wonders of the island by bus or by boat." "It's easy if you book one of our guided tours in the lobby." "( drums beating )" "Aloha." " Come." "Come dance." " ( laughs )" "I've got nothing to do with this." "Go ahead, Don." "Leave him alone, honey." "I want to do it." "No, you have to do it like this." "You have to relax." "Get in the spirit of the islands." "They call me the Hawaiian Elvis." "( laughs )" "Gentlemen, I remind you, this is my job." "( applause )" "Stop laughing or I'll make them come back for you." "Excuse me, Corinne." "I hate to bother you." "I mean, I know your name's not Corinne." "No, It's Megan Calvet." " Oh, my goodness." "I'm really bothering you." " No, not at all." "You're so much trimmer than you are on TV." "Do people tell you that?" " I-- no." " "To Have and to Hold" is my favorite." "I mean, I watch a few, and you're obviously on vacation." " It's okay." " Well, I know you're new to "Berkshire Falls,"" "but I can tell you-- you just have a way." "Thank you so much." "Would you mind signing an autograph to my niece?" "She's a bigger fan than I am." "I'd be delighted." " What's her name?" " Karen." "It's like Corinne." "I can't believe Victor won't acknowledge you." "Well, we'll see what happens." "Enjoy your stay." "Those women really knew me." "One of them was from Minnesota." "I didn't even know they had the show there." "I love it here." "Hey, Galloway, you want another?" "Can I get a tall beer?" "Chop chop." "So, mister, has he moved at all?" "Well, you're either dead or you've got great balance." "Hey, were you in the service?" "I got the same one." " What branch?" " Army." "You can say that again." " Korea?" " Briefly." "Was Korea like this?" "'Cause I'll tell you, they offer you RR in Honolulu and you think, "Did anybody notice it's the same place?"" "But I'm glad to be here, I can tell you that." "You on your anniversary?" "Folks have been pretty friendly." "After all the shit that went on last summer Stateside," "I was looking for a fight." "That'd be classy-- showing up with a black eye." "This is my bachelor party." "I'm getting married tomorrow." "Congratulations." "Let me buy you a drink." "Nah, I got a shitload of combat pay." "Let me buy you one." "You some kind of astronaut?" "I'm in advertising." "We got this .50 caliber machine gun." "The M2." "( laughs )" "You should see what it does to a water buffalo." "Oh, my Lord." "I could paint this place red." "How long do you have left?" "Ceremony's at 0800." "Four hours or so." "No, in Vietnam." "Eight months." "Someone told her married guys live longer 'cause they got something to live for." "She's from San Diego." "She's Mexican." "She met me halfway in Hawaii." "I met her halfway by getting married." "Were you married when you were in Korea?" "No." "And you made it." "Listen, Lieutenant." "What do you say we get into some trouble?" "It's PFC Dinkins, by the way." "It's usually printed right there." "Don." "So how do you feel about giving away the bride?" "You don't think your friend's gonna make it?" "Nah, he's my best man." "Her family's in San Ysidro." "And I don't want some hotel employee being her dad." "They look just like the enemy." "Am I wrong?" "There's plenty of GIs here." "There's no one else you know?" "Who gave your bride away?" "I'd love to help you out, but you don't even know me." "I think you'd regret it later." "I believe in what goes around comes around." "One day I'm gonna be a veteran in paradise." "One day I'll be the man who can't sleep and talks to strangers." "( sighs )" "I, James, take you, Connie, for my lawful wife, to have and to hold from this day forward." "For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." "( "The Nutcracker March" playing )" "( siren blaring )" "What were you doing wrong?" "I'm so sorry, Officer." "It's very hard to see." "That's why you have to drive slower." "We go easy on the speed limit here, but not with this ice." "I promise I will do that in the future." "I'm afraid this is about what you already did." "You may not be aware, but this is Betty Francis." "You may know her husband, my son, Henry Francis." "He works in the mayor's office in Manhattan." "Mayor Lindsay." "I work for New York State." "We've got our own mayor." "I'll do without your sarcasm, young man." " ( girls giggle )" " Now, if you don't mind," "I think all concerned will be very content if you issue a stern warning and let us be on our way." " Pauline." " ( giggles )" "I'm trying to avoid taking you off the road with a shovel." "She's driving like a maniac." "Yell at her." "I hate cops." "Nonsense." "They're just doing their job." "Well, they're too enthusiastic." "That ruined it." "That ruined everything." "I can't imagine it getting any darker than this." "My mom's dead." "( laughs )" "( TV playing )" "How was "The Nutcracker"?" " The highlight of the evening." " Magical as always." "Well, Bobby, Gene, and I are sorry we missed it." "Nothing like the ballet, right, boys?" "Is Sandy sleeping over?" "What do you care?" "Isn't somebody going to say something?" "Betty got a ticket." "For what?" "I thought it was going to be speeding, but apparently it's reckless driving." "I want you to tell your wife that invoking your name in an interaction with a state trooper is nothing to be ashamed of." "Ma, it barely works for me." "Then Grandma Pauline yelled at him." " I did nothing of the sort." " What did he do?" " He was verbally abusive." " Give him the ticket." "He'll fix it." "He does it for everyone." "Ma, you know how I fix those tickets?" "I pay 'em." " Can I open it?" " Mm-hmm." "Get away, you little weirdo." "I like the case." "It looks like a coffin." "Would you play a little?" "That'd be nice." "I don't know." "Please." "It makes me feel so much." "This is disgusting." "Don't let them force you." "Have you been playing long?" " She's going to Juilliard next semester." " Juilliard?" "Why didn't you tell me we were in the presence of a prodigy?" "15 is not a prodigy." "( playing )" "Sorry about that." "Checking the steam." " How was your trip?" " Wonderful." "Warm." "I did not miss this." "How are you feeling?" "( screams )" "Let me in there." "It's okay, Jonesy." " Jesus, what's his real name?" " I don't know." "Open his coat." "Open his coat." "Sylvia, call an ambulance." "There's a phone at the desk." "Okay, Jonesy, keep listening to me." "Come on, I know you can hear me." "Come on." "Let me get those." " Absolutely not." " I'm surprised you're back at work." "Oh, the missus couldn't wait to get me out of the house." " I don't believe it." " Oh, wait." "Messenger came with your script yesterday." "I didn't let it out of my sight." "I got you a pretty nice bottle for Christmas in case you can't read the handwriting." "Well, I hope you got Dr. Rosen a case." "I thought you were going to stop reading that before bed." "It's not bothering me tonight." "I bet it isn't." "You're so calm from all that violin." "She plays beautifully." "You and Bobby had the same look on your face when she was playing." "She's a year older than Sally." "Shame on you." "No one would blame me for leaving you for a teenage musician." "She's just in the next room." "Why don't you go in there and rape her?" " I'll hold her arms down." " Betty, what the hell?" "You said you wanted to spice things up." "Will it ruin it if I'm there?" "You know what?" "If you want to be alone with her," "I'll put on my housecoat and take Sally for a ride." "You can stick a rag in her mouth and you won't wake the boys." "All right." "All right, Betty." "My goodness." "You're blushing." "She left the sliding door open." "There's dirt all over the rug." "Maybe she wanted to air out the place." "I'm gonna take the cleaning out of her Christmas present." "One scene." "I take somebody's coat and offer them a drink." "You're the maid." "It's more than ours does." "One scene, Don." "They send me to pack suitcases." "Yours or theirs?" "Victor's." "Then I'd be worried if I was Victor." "I shouldn't have gone on vacation." "What are you doing up?" "I couldn't sleep." "I didn't want to wake Sally, although you have the creakiest floor." "It's an old house." "At least turn on a light." "Are you hungry?" "Are you gonna have something?" "Yes, but I really have to be careful this time of year." "Why?" "I'm trying to reduce." "Why don't you just be the way you are?" "You're beautiful." "That's charming and you know it." "My mother wore a girdle all the time and she always had a stomachache and I always thought," ""You'd rather have a stomachache just so Dad will like you?"" "Sandy, my mother passed away a few years ago and I understand." "This time of year is the hardest." "Oh, dear." "We're happy to include you in our family." "I can't go to Juilliard." "I know how you're feeling." "I was older than you, but I remember when I went to Bryn Mawr, I was terrified." " But then the minute I" " No." "I didn't get in." "They rejected me." "Oh." "Of course you'd lie about that." "So you'll try again next year." "Tell everyone you wanted to finish high school." "It's incredible how fast some people come up with lies." "Please don't do that." "I'm old for a violinist." "At least for one as good as I am." "I don't care." "All I wanted to do was go to New York." "In a few years." "But it'll be too late." "My feet are already in wet cement." "Plenty of girls do just fine without Juilliard." "Sure, you go to college, you meet a boy, you drop out, you get married, struggle for a year in New York while he learns to tie a tie, and then move to the country and just start the whole disaster over." "That's an arrogant exaggeration." "You have so much." "I didn't ask for it and I don't need it." "You don't need it?" "Do you know what it's like to have nothing?" " Do you?" " Why do you keep insulting me?" "I'm trying to help." "No, aren't you curious?" "There are people in the Village." "I read about it and I even visited them." "You went to the city alone?" "Did Sally go with you?" "No." "But she told me you went." "That you were a model." "Yes." "And I lived with five girls in two rooms and ate soup out of cans." "It's not glamorous." "But I bet it was great." "It was different back then." "There weren't all the riots and robberies." "Do you watch the news?" "I visited this building right off St. Mark's Place." "And the kids are just living and it's beautiful." "You know?" "People are naturally democratic if you give them a chance." "Are you on dope?" "No." " But" " But... you're going to wait until you're old enough to live on your own." "It's two years." "Hardly a jail sentence." "You know, you're not my child, so there's no reason for me to say this, but I go to the symphony quite a bit, whether I like it or not, and I am certain that you are talented." "And on the bright side," "Sally was crushed you were going away." "Want to use the bathroom?" " I think I'm feeling better." " I'm not." " There's Pepto-Bismol." " I think it's too late." "I don't like vegetarian food." " ( phone ringing )" " Reminds me of Lent." "Exactly." "It's a punishment." " Hello?" " Peggy Olson, please." "This is Peggy." "Who is this?" " Did you watch Carson?" " Who is this?" "It's Burt." "Burt Peterson." "Oh." "Is everything okay?" "I'm calling you at midnight." "We're screwed, Peggy." "We're at DEFCON 3." "We're about to go to DEFCON 4." "DEFCON 4 is better than DEFCON 3." "I've told you that." "One is the worst." " Then we're at zero." " There is no zero." "Some comic on Carson was breaking everybody up with this routine about the war." "Burt, it's very late and you sound a little under the weather and there's such a thing as free speech in this country." "I could give a hoot." "Koss Headphones wants to pull our Super Bowl spot." "He hates the line now." ""Lend me your ears"?" "It's Shakespeare." "Well, it's somehow related to something." "The president." "I don't know." "I didn't see it." "Burt:" "You there?" "Yes." "Burt:" "So you got to change your ad." " Now it's my ad?" " He wants to meet for a discussion." " About what?" " I don't know." "Something bad." "I take the client's word for it." " You've got to call Ted." " About what?" "I don't even know what the problem is." "It's better coming from you." "I've got to go." "What time is it in Colorado?" "I don't know." "I can't do any math right now." "I can't do any math at all." "Please, honey, don't talk." "( signal bell rings )" "Morning." "I guess I don't say Merry Christmas to you." "Save that for Sylvia." "How was Hawaii?" " Long ago and far away." " ( chuckles )" "What's that camera you guys are selling?" " Pentax?" " Leica." "And which model will change my life?" "Like everybody else, I only know them by the price." "You know what?" "Come by." "I got a closetful." "I'll give you one." "Come on." "I'll pay for it." "I'd give one to Christiaan Barnard." "I might just come by." "You owe me just for that comment alone." " You can come by right now." " No." "I'm gonna be in surgery till 2:00." "Maybe after." "Remember, you come by my office, I get to go to yours." "( bell rings, doors open )" "Jonesy:" "Another glorious morning, Dr. Rosen." "No good deed..." "I don't know." "Probably part of a deeper question." "Because, I mean, none of them are really blonde anyway, right?" "She's 29 years old." "Hair darkens by that age, so she's probably a brunette." "Maybe she does remind me of Jane." "No, I think it's more than just distraction." "I think you're being hard on me." "You used the word "distraction."" "Did I?" "Well, I need a vacation." "I'm busy." "I'm a busy man." "I walk around that place, people say "Good morning" to me." "They don't really care." "They don't know anything about me." "Oh, God, Doc, what is it all about?" "Help me." "I say-- I say that's a joke, son." " We discussed this." " What?" "I can't laugh at everything you say." "Either it's funny or it's not." "I don't know how you can control yourself." "It's hard sometimes." "We talked about that, too." "What exactly are you joking about?" "You're obviously not afraid that you're boring." "What are the events in life?" "It's like you see a door." "The first time you come to it you say," ""Oh, what's on the other side of the door?"" "Then you open a few doors." "Then you say, "I think I want to go over that bridge this time." "I'm tired of doors." Finally you go through one of these things and you come out the other side and you realize that's all there are-- doors and windows and bridges and gates." "And they all open the same way and they all close behind you." "Look, life is supposed to be a path and you go along and these things happen to you and they're supposed to change you." "Change your direction." "But it turns out that's not true." "It turns out the experiences are nothing." "They're just some pennies you pick up off the floor, stick in your pocket, and you're just going in a straight line to you-know-where." "You sound afraid." "More like irritated." "And what do you think is causing that?" "Top of the list, New Year's." "It's like an extra birthday." "You're supposed to blow out the candle and wish for something." "I don't even know what it is." "How was your Christmas?" "Same as the last five-- ruined by work." " How was yours?" " I'm a widower, Peggy." "Oh." "I'm sorry." "Apparently there was a bunch of jokes on the "Tonight Show,"" "in question, about soldiers cutting off ears in Vietnam." "And obviously we are gonna have to go in another direction." "_" "What did they say?" "Well, I wasn't able to obtain a copy or a transcript, but Lawrence here is a devout viewer." "I don't know if I can do it justice." "Just shut up and do it." "Well, he came out and started talking about how that surgeon in South Africa transplanted a heart." "And he says," ""Now I know what I'm getting President Johnson for Christmas."" " Who is this guy?" " I'm Lawrence." " No, the comedian." " We're finding that out." " You have no information." " We know the host was Phyllis Diller." "Get to the ears." "Well, I don't remember how he got to it, but it was something about how the first transplants they did were with dogs." "So obviously there could be some sort of mix-up or something." "Dad's better, but he goes nuts every time we run the can opener." " ( laughs )" " He hates the mailman or something." "And, oh, he keeps ruining the carpet." "Only thing that stops him is hitting him on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper." "( laughs )" "Do you remember the ear joke or not?" "Well, he went back to Christmas." "Did you hear about how there are these GIs with interesting decorations?" "'Cause they cut off the Vietcong's ears and wore them on a string around their neck like a trophy." "Oh." "They really did that?" "There's a court-martial." "Did he actually say "Vietcong" on Carson?" "I don't remember." "This is the best I can do." " I think you're very good." " You think so?" "So, was that it?" "No." "The big laugh was a general comes up to one of these guys and says, "That's not regulation, son."" "The soldier says, "Pardon?" "Could you speak into my necklace?"" "( laughs )" "Biggest laugh even though the transplant jokes were better." "That's not even funny." "What did Phyllis do?" "She just said something like," ""I told you he was a sick puppy."" "( sighs ) When is Koss coming in?" "1:00." "Should I order lunch?" "He loves the Russian Tea Room." "No, this is an emergency meeting." "I should probably practice a little more." "The client's already seen it." "Go home." "There's no second show." " What did Ted say?" " I left a message." "I don't think there's anything to do but work our way through 100 versions of no." "Listen, don't get in your own way." "No, I've seen creatives do this." "I've seen Ted do it." "This is the Super Bowl." "It's a lot of money." "A lot of exposure for the agency." " There's probably awards down the road." " I know." "Believe me, I know." "The fucking "Tonight Show."" "Now, Peggy, I think it's the Army that's really at fault here." "You look tan." "Did you have fun?" "I'm sorry, but your name escapes me." "I'm Bob Benson." "I'm upstairs in Accounts." "Beloit College, Wharton MBA." "Secor, Mohawk, Life Cereal." "You know, but just in the outfield." "Yes, of course." "We spoke at the Christmas party." "You seemed to know your way around Pennsylvania." "You want one of these?" "I get it right next door." "People will take a few extra steps for a superior product." "Doesn't it belong to someone else?" "No, I always get two." "I don't want to share." "( doors open )" "You know, I have through, let's just say low-level corruption, obtained tickets to the Cotton Bowl." "Crimson Tide versus Texas AM." "You play football?" " What's in that coffee?" " Excuse me?" "Oh." "( laughs )" "Look, I've been trying to get to know your team." "Not that I'm so important." "And they talk about you all the time." "So I guess I figured a few minutes alone with you shouldn't be wasted." "Just a minute, Bob." "I smell creativity." "I love it down here." "I can't believe you just came off of 10 hours of plane travel." " You look great." " No, Stan, you look great." "Changing the subject ever so slightly, during your travels did you notice if the stewardesses would let a mother hold a baby on her lap the whole ride?" "I believe so." " Ha!" " Really?" "Don't feel bad." "I mean, how would you know?" "You never had any kids." "Last time you left town, it was in a covered wagon." " Because you're old." " ( laughing )" "You're so tan." " So how was the vacation?" " He was on assignment." "On Waikiki Beach." "How much work do you think you got done?" "Look at him." "He has the sea breeze in his hair." "You bring me something?" "Huh?" "Dictaphone, cocktail napkins?" "Anything to give me a jump on the Royal Hawaiian?" "I had an experience." "I don't know how to put it into words." "Isn't Sheraton coming in on Friday?" "He's still thinking." "He just got back." "I'll tell you the experience." "Megan in a bikini." "( flashbulb pops )" "Oh, Mr. Draper." "There you are." "Good morning." "How was your trip?" "It was good, thank you." "What's going on here?" "They're taking portraits for publicity." "You certainly look snappy." "I see you have coffee." "I scheduled you later in case you missed the connection in Los Angeles." "Everything went smoothly." "Welcome back." "I'm jealous just looking at you." " I think you'd like it." " I don't know if it's the photographers or the writers, but it really smells like reefer in here." "That has to be enough." "Photographer:" "I think we got it." "So, they treat you like King Kamehameha?" "Miss, you mind?" "Are these in color?" "No, and I'm starting to regret it." "Do you mind holding onto the rail, gorgeous?" "Think of important things." "Caroline, is the shoeshine here yet?" "No one's going to see your shoes." " I want you to call him." " I did." "So, Don Ho... did you have a blue drink in the white sand?" "Ernest Borgnine chase you down an alleyway with a switchblade?" "I love that movie." " It was nice." " ( sighs )" "I think I'm next, but I don't want to follow that act." "So, you have anything ready for Sheraton on Friday?" "Have I ever walked into this office after an absence and not had you bring up business immediately?" "That's only because I've spent every holiday waiting on work from you." "And then you walk away from me." "And then you take a nap." "Oh, taking pictures." "Yeah, we'll be done in a second." "Keep it down out here." "Oh, about your office." "They think it's better for the pictures." "I don't agree." "They'll move it back." "So when I left, where was I?" "I'll get you the files." "( phones ringing )" "( typewriters clacking )" "( car horns honking )" "( waves crashing )" "As horrible as this is," "I don't think anyone has made this connection outside of this comedian." "So it's likely that any possible controversy" "Well, no one's seen the TV spot." "They've seen the print for three weeks, side by side with the news story probably." "We haven't heard a peep." "So the controversy is still in your imagination." "I won't deny that, but this is a horrible thing." "I believe that's the word I used." "So?" " I thought I had a solution." " We can't pull the ad." "Relax, Burt." "And of course we can't." "No, I thought maybe we could just cut" ""Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears"" "and just start with saying all the great stuff about the headphones." "That's a great idea." " You think so?" " I think it's the first idea, but" "It solves everything." "Except it's just a man in a toga now." "It's a non sequitur." "Maybe people will think it's some kind of sophisticated joke that they just didn't get." "I think that while it avoids any possibility of controversy, it neuters the joke." "What the hell does that mean?" "Look, you don't know what to do." "I'm telling you what do to." "You are." "You have solved the problem." "But it needs more than a solution." "It needs to be a great ad." "This is a great place to start." "I just need a little time." "Remember how long it took us to come up with this one?" "I don't know." "It just sort of came to you, didn't it?" "No, you rejected a lot of things." "And we can't shoot one of the things I rejected?" "We just don't have the time." "Look, my job is to introduce your headphones to a huge, drunk, male audience." "And it's not about my work, it's about making a great ad." "The association not being with Vietnam, but with a laugh, a smile, that all comes from your headphones." "I don't know how to do that." "But I do." "Give me a couple days." "( sighs ) Okay." "You've got to get a hold of Ted." "Why do they all have "love" in them?" " They asked for it." " It's a big word." "I guess they heard it on the news." "_" " What the hell is this?" " They're newlyweds." "This couple doesn't exist." "Anything matrimonial feels Paleolithic." "What are you suggesting?" "A little Haight-Ashbury colonial?" "A couple of longhairs in love?" "That'll get Dow going." "As much as I'd like to join all the ads making fun of the ubiquitous San Francisco hippie, let's try to trade on the word "love" as something substantial." "I don't think that's possible in this context." "So why are we contributing to the trivialization of the word?" "It doesn't belong in the kitchen." ""I love this." "I love my oven."" ""You know what I'd love?" "I'd love a hamburger." We're wearing it out." "Let's leave it where we want it." "We want that electric jolt to the body." "We want Eros." "It's like a drug." "It's not domestic." "What's the difference between a husband knocking on a door and a sailor getting off a ship?" "About 10,000 volts." " Excuse me." " Oh." " Don't let me interrupt." " No, we were... just finishing up here." "These are great." "Good to hear." " This is a pleasant surprise." " I got out early." " Is that good or bad?" " What?" "Oh, no." "Everything's fine." "It was routine." "Well... welcome to my hospital." "You want a coffee or something?" "No." "This is quite a spread." "Well, let's get you set up." "If I looked like you and talked like that," "I wouldn't have had to go to medical school." "Please, don't compare what I do to what you do." "I'm not." "Just part of me was hoping that head was empty." "Can't resist cutting people open, can you?" "All right, enough flirting." "Where's my camera?" "I think this is the best one." "I don't know what to say." "Say you're gonna be the first American to complete a successful heart transplant and that you'll appear in a magazine ad attributing your success to your Leica." "Well, if that's the only way you can give it to me." " I was looking for you." " Here I am." "Dr. Arnold Rosen." "Sorry, this is Miss Chambers, my secretary." "I'm sorry, Dr. Rosen." "I didn't know you were coming by." "Oh, no, it's not business." "He's a friend." "They're ready in your office." " Who?" " They're setting up." " The photographer." " I'll do it." "( chuckles ) No, you're gonna need a couple weeks with those instructions." "This'll only take a minute." "Have you had lunch?" "No, I have a full afternoon." "But I think our wives are cooking something up for New Year's." "Told Sylvia to keep it in the building." "Wasn't my idea." "No, it'll be fun." "As long as I don't have to put on shoes, it sounds perfect." "And again, thanks for the toy." "See, but I'm free tonight." "So call in sick." "It's easier for them to replace you than me." "( knocks )" "Don't get out of bed yet." "Yes?" "I hate to disturb you, but it's very urgent." "Okay, okay, sit down." "I have to hang up." "Looks like something bad happened." "Well, let me know if your situation changes." "Bye." "Okay." "Bye." "Bye." "Bye." "( sobbing )" "What the hell is going on?" "I got some tragic news." "You should sit down." "I'll be fine." "Here." "Your Aunt Jessica called." "That's what I hung up for?" "Your mother passed away this morning." "( sobbing )" "Caroline, honey, she was 91 years old." "It's hardly a shock." "She was such a sweet woman and I know how close you were." "For 20 years, she's been saying this is her last Christmas." "She was always so polite to me when she could hear me." "So I suppose I'm in charge of the arrangements." "You want to call your aunt back?" "Nah." "She's a fruitcake." "She'll want to have a séance." "Did she say what happened?" "She had a stroke in the bathroom." "Well, I asked, didn't I?" "Talk to Joan." "She'll know what to do." " ( sobbing )" " Okay, okay." "Okay." "You're gonna be okay." "( sighs )" "Cheers." "Ah, yes." "This is Peggy Olson and I'm calling for Mr. Chaough." "Yes, this is Peggy Olson." "( laughs )" "Let's not exaggerate." "I've only called twice." "Look, Father-- oh, I'm sorry, Pastor." "I was raised Catholic." "Well, because my mother is." "My father is Lutheran." "Irish and Norwegian." "No, he passed away." "He was cremated." "Look, Pastor, I'm not saying that you didn't give Mr. Chaough the message," "I'm just saying that it bears some urgency." "Yes, which is to say I don't think it would bother him at all to know that I'm on the phone." "Certainly." "Do you have a pen?" "This is Peggy Olson and I'm calling about the Super Bowl." "I'm in the office, he has the number." "How could you possibly have written that down that fast?" "I don't know." "I think it's gonna be Oakland or Houston against Green Bay." "And also with you." "Good night." "Phyllis, can I get some coffee?" "It's gone cold." "Is this really necessary?" "I just got back from Hawaii." "You're backlit, so even with the tan you look like you haven't slept." "Don't roll down the sleeves." "Roll them up." " Really?" " You know what, Chico?" "Forget the tripod." "Give me the camera." "Ahem." "What do I do?" "I want to see you lost in that confident thought." "I want to see the brains behind this operation." "Well, for one thing, I'd be behind the desk and my desk would be over there." "Just do what you do." "Give me a minute." " ( camera clicks )" " That's good." "_" "( camera clicks )" "_" "What's wrong?" "Give me a little "Front Page."" "You know, hands on the desk looking for an answer out that window." "What?" "What do you want?" "I want you to be yourself." "( distant car horns honking )" "Sorry to wake you when you're finally sleeping, but I waited as long as I could." "What time is it?" "They called me and they want me to work today." "I told them about the funeral, but they can't move it to tomorrow because they'll need me then, too." "In fact, they need me for the rest of the week." "That's good, isn't it?" "I called Jeff Hunter, but I think his service won't wake him." "Isn't an agent supposed to call you?" "Good news will keep." "I feel awful about the funeral." "Will you please give Roger my condolences?" "Of course." "You should get some sleep." "How can I?" "My wife's a big TV star." "Get some sleep." "Break a leg." " ( sighs ) - ( door closes )" "( sighs )" "Why are you eating?" "Sandy's coming over for lunch." "First of all, I don't know why you're counting my meals." "And second of all, Sandy's not coming over." "Oh." "That's a shame." "Is she sick?" "Sick of being here." "She went to Juilliard early." "She did?" "When?" "Did you want her to say a tearful goodbye to you?" "Well, frankly, yes." "Consider yourself lucky." "She was so stuck-up." "She kept saying how she really was going to "look back on this time fondly."" "I can't believe she did that." "She acts like she's 25 because she uses tampons." "Sally, please." "Did she give you her address?" "Can you drive Jackie and me to the movies?" "This is a great vacation." " ( vacuum humming ) - ( TV playing )" "You know, she was like a sister to me." "A much older sister." "How she could have a boy your age, I don't know." "You could be her grandson." "( chuckles ) You need to get your eyes checked." " These are stunning rooms." " Thank you." "He is so handsome." "I swear you have not aged a day." "Oh, Jane, darling." " Thank you for coming." " I thought I should." "Excuse me." "Excuse me." "I would like to speak first." "I think you just did." "No, the eulogies." "The remarks." " I wish to go first." " Of course." "Of course." "If you need to speak to me, I understand." "Thank you for rescuing me." " From your admirers?" " You look wonderful." "I don't know if you remember, but I have her ring." "I don't know if you want it back." "What am I gonna do with it?" "For Margaret or..." "I don't know, to bury her in it." "We already burned her up." "They steal that stuff anyway." "Just keep it." "She liked you." "You always paid your rent on time." "Do you want the victuals in the parlor?" "What?" "Hold on, I didn't order any of this." "It's supposed to be tea and petits fours." "Oh, hell, put it in the dining room." " I'm really sorry for your loss." " She was a great lady." ""Bob Benson, SCDP." Who the hell is that?" "That's from us." "Daddy, I think it's time." "What's the rush?" "Thank you for coming." "God, she is all kinds of trouble, isn't she?" "Everything turns you on, doesn't it?" "( doorbell rings )" "Is your mother still alive?" " Did I miss anything?" " You're just in time." "How many funerals have you been to today?" " Excuse me?" " He wants to know where you got the drink." "Give my regards to Megan." "Rumor has it they're gonna move her to four days a week." "Legend has it." "So, is she alive?" "Yes, she is." "Don, what about your mother?" "Still with us?" "I'm gonna watch from over there." "If I could get your attention." "I'd like to thank everyone for coming." "I apologize for the dry atmosphere, but as I've been reminded many times today," "Mother did not approve of libations." "Excuse me, but I have a few words to say." " I insist." " ( doorbell rings )" "Of course." "Why don't you roll on over here?" "Can everyone forget what I've said so far so that Mrs. Hazel Tinsley, who graciously flew up from Palm Beach, can have the honor of going first?" "Stay here." "I want to say something, if I may, at this informal moment because I do not believe in speaking graveside." "This is where she lived and this is where she died." ""This woman spent 90 years on the Earth, of noble birth and of some advantage, devoting herself to one man, but loving another." "That man was Roger." That's you." ""When Roger Sterling Sr.'s brief time was over, it was this Roger who filled her days." "One could not talk to her without hearing about his achievements, his wit, his kindness." "We all said, 'Mimsy." "Mims, you should find another man." "Life is long.'" "She said, 'I don't need anyone." "My heart is full because my son is my sunshine.'"" "( gags )" "( people gasp )" "Get him out of here." "Sorry." "I'm sorry." "Where were you?" "I'm sorry, but is that man all right?" " What's he doing here?" " What?" " You heard me." " Can we get someone in here to clean up?" " Let Bruce Pike clean it up." " Roger." "I just wanted to pay my respects." "I think it would have been more respectful of you not to come." "She didn't like you either." "I don't think I ever met your mother." "She wouldn't if she had." "This is supposed to be just family." " See how upset everybody is?" " Roger, stop." "Stop it this minute." " You shouldn't have brought him." " Daddy, please." "This is my funeral!" "You know what?" "Party's over." "Everybody out." "Thank you very much." "Out!" "( door closes )" "( car horn honking )" "Thank you." "Pardon me." "I'm looking for someone." "Could you help me?" "Everybody's gone." "Not everybody, obviously." "I think they were overwhelmed by that touching tribute." "What do you want?" "That man never tires of embarrassing himself." "You're the one who brought him." "I'm talking about Don." "Oh." "He was just saying what everybody else was thinking." "You shouldn't have brought him." "You're right." "Now you have one on me." "Do you feel better?" "My mother's dead." "I know, Roger." "Must be very hard for you." "I don't feel anything." "You certainly seem emotional." "Because I need a drink." "She lived a long time." "And she knew that you loved her." "So maybe there's nothing to drink about." "I feel like she always wanted to spend time with me and I never did." "That may be something to consider." "You have a family." "( scoffs ) Are you kidding me?" "I looked out at that crowd and all I saw was a bunch more women I've disappointed." "Roger Sterling, no matter what you do, everyone loves you." "What you're seeing is them worried about how you feel about them." "So, you miss me?" "I know your daughter does." "Don't you wonder what Margaret will say at your funeral?" "You had to bring that up." "I did." "You should spend more time with her." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Remember the last time this bed was covered in furs?" "We rolled around all over them." " What are you doing?" " I don't know." "You look great." "It would be soothing." "Soothe yourself." "I'm gonna clean up." "( door closes )" "Jonesy." "Mr. Draper, are you all right?" " He's not feeling well." " Hey, Jonesy." "Jonesy, what did you see?" "I didn't see nothing, Mr. Draper." "No, no, when you died, what did you see?" " Don, let's get you upstairs." " Wait, I want to know." "I want to know." "What did you see when you died?" "I don't know." "Doc said I wasn't really dead." "I saw it." "You were dead." "He died right there." "What did you see?" "I don't like to think about it." " You must have seen something." " I guess there was a light." "Was it like hot, tropical sunshine?" " I don't know." " Did you hear the ocean?" "Mr. Draper, you should go upstairs." " Is he all right?" " He'll be fine." " Excuse me." " Yeah?" " Is that St. Mark's Place?" " Yup." "I'm sorry, I'm looking for someone." "A girl." " Which one?" " This one." "There's lots of chicks that come in and out of here." "I've been in the buildings across the street." "Are you sure you haven't seen her?" "Look, lady, it's cold as a witch's tit." "We're going inside." "May I?" "Door's always open, man." "( bangs )" "( squeaks )" "Man:" "Hey, I got the pork butt and I lifted a bunch of onions." "( music playing on radio )" "Sandy?" "Sandy?" "Oh, I'm sorry." "Excuse me." "I'm sorry to bother you again, but this violin, this belongs to the girl" "I was talking about." "Are you sure you haven't seen her?" "Look, lady, I don't want to have to lay the regular rap on you, but I am exhausted from telling people like you" " I haven't seen people like her." " But she was here." "I haven't seen your daughter." "She's not my daughter." "So, what are you, some kind of social worker?" " Her violin teacher?" " ( chuckles )" "Shit." "What's her name?" "Sandy." "Hey, anybody seen Sandy?" "Do you know how to make goulash?" "'Cause I've got pork butt, two onions, and lentils which I think is what's in it." "Hey, Moon, turn around." "And paprika." "I know that's in it." "Well, for one thing, you'll need a pot." "We got a pot." "You'll have to wash it out." "There's no water." "Really?" "We used to use the hose at the Episcopal church, but now the pipes are frozen." "It was great here all summer." "It was hot." "So much rather be hot than cold." "I'll go on the roof and get a chunk of snow." " Oh, you'll get sick." " We do it all the time." "My mom makes great goulash." " Where are you from?" " Everywhere." "Hold on." "I think there's an army knife by the bed." "Hello?" "Your mother still here?" "No." "She left." "I'm just waiting for them to wrap up the deli." "Where's Skeezix?" "Brooks took him bike riding." "It's kind of cold out there." "He can't tell the difference." "The other day he walked in singing and I looked and his nose was bleeding." "He didn't know how he did it." "So he's tough." "Listen, I want you to have something." "This was your grandmother's." "My dad brought it back for her." "He went everywhere." " What is it?" " It's water from the River Jordan." "I was baptized with it." "So were you." "We would have used it on Ellery, but I guess she forgot." "Hope she didn't put her teeth in it." "( laughs ) Well, thank you." "It's lovely." "Did Nana Mimsy leave me anything else?" "I'm afraid she left everything to the zoo." "She's making them name the animals." "I'm sorry." "That doesn't seem funny to me." "It does to me." "Her will looked like the manifest from Noah's ark." " ( laughs )" " Well, it's different for you." "Brooks didn't start off where you did." " He'll get there." " Oh, I know he will." "It's just that there's" "well, Daddy, there's this opportunity." "I don't know, I" "I told Nana about it, but obviously she didn't understand." "Were you this specific?" "Daddy, don't." "It's not good for you." "I worry." "Refrigeration." "It's the wave of the future, Daddy." "They can transport fruit all the way from California in just four days and it doesn't go bad." "Some of these trucks can carry 20 tons." "And, of course, you're buying the technology for the refrigerated trucks, so it doesn't matter what they get used for." "It's really not Brooks' problem." "Well, I guess you should have Brooks talk to me about it." "Of course." "I know he'd like to make it on his own, but" "I'd have to see something on paper." "Oh, he's got that, believe me." "Well, good." "And I'm glad we had this little chat." "Oh, Daddy." "I'm going to go see if they're done in the kitchen." "Megan:" "Don?" "Don?" "Did you make it to the memorial?" "Except for the mess, you're exactly where I left you." "I put in an appearance." "I just should have had lunch." "Aspirin?" "I'm better now." "You?" "Well, I pushed Derek's mother down the stairs." " Did you?" " I did." "They wanted me to radiate evil, so I looked her in the eyes, but I don't know how close the camera was because it was a stuntman in a dress." "Don't worry." "I don't think there's a nice way you can do that." "I'm not sure people will want my autograph anymore." "Yes, they will." "So you'll still love me even if I'm a lying, cheating whore?" "But I'm gonna walk behind you on the stairs." "( laughs )" "Okay." "Well, I'm gonna make you dinner." "Oh, Rosa found this in the garbage." "I think she was afraid you'd think she was stealing." "Sleep." "I'll come get you." "( door closes )" "Moon:" "Hey, Danny, where'd you take that joint?" "There's three fucking rooms." "Where do you think I am?" "No, thank you." "Is marijuana expensive?" "Do I have to stir it again?" " Is it boiling?" " No." " My coat smells like onions." " Man:" "Yoo-hoo." "You better tell him you did the cooking, man." "It's your job." "It's my bag." " It smells good." " I made goulash." " Did you get Wonder Bread?" " We got batteries." "Hey, Zal, did you make any friends today?" "Did you run into this chick?" "What's her name?" "I'm sorry." "This violin belongs to my friend Sandy." "Do you know when she'll be back?" "Sorry, Blondie, but that violin belongs to me." "No, I know the girl who plays this violin and I'm looking for her." "Yeah, no, I saw her." "She sold it to me." "She's trying to get enough bread to go to California." "Says it's too cold." "So where is she now?" " Does she owe you money?" " No." "Well, your daughter's long gone, Blondie, so why don't you run along?" " Come on, Zal." " Why are you being so rude?" "Why can't you leave her be?" "Kills you to be out of control." "Well, someone needs to control this mess." "Lady, we have to take everything the Establishment throws away." "That's all that's left." "What you can't grok is that we are your garbage." "You don't want this house, you don't want us." "You're not allowed to ask anybody to leave." "The bylaws say if someone is a nuisance or a narc, that shall not be observed." "I'm obviously not the people you're talking about." "I came here because I'm looking for someone that I do want." "I did not throw her away." "Yeah, you're a goodie." "I can tell." "Look at this." "She's got 80 bucks." " Can I have it?" " No." "That's all they care about." "Well, Miss Elizabeth Hofstadt Francis of Rye, New York, eyes blue, hair bottled, we don't like your life any more than you do." "You have bad manners." "You deserve to live in the street of this pigsty, and I hope you get tetanus or crabs or whatever else is crawling around here." "Hey, that's my violin." "She sold it?" "I don't believe you." "You want it?" "I'll give it to you for 10." "What are you going to do with a violin?" "Gonna learn how to play it." "Because it's so easy." "( fabric rips )" "( door closes )" "( keys clicking )" "There's a meatball, which is probably cold by now, and an Italian, which is probably even colder." "You're typing a lot." "You got a new way to go?" "No, I'm doing this thing Don used to do." "I'm writing a letter to a fictitious acquaintance telling her how great my new headphones are." "Well, I hate that it gives you extra work, but I think it's about time this unjust war is finally having an impact on commerce." "Meatball." " Did we order dinner?" " No." "I can share." "Try the headphones again." "Try and think of some words." " What have you got?" " We have three very different angles." "If you dip the audio in the wide shot," "Mark Antony is just, you know, mouthing the "lend me your ears" part." "You hear the announcer say one of these things" "One. "Are you ready for the sound for the ages?"" "Two. "Koss knows that good sound is timeless."" "Or "Ladies and gentlemen, this is not your old-fashioned sound."" "What's the next one?" " The next one or the second one?" " You said you had three." "Those were three." "Didn't I read all of them?" "Those are three different versions of the same idea." "If you can't tell the difference between which part's the idea and which part's the execution of the idea, you're of no use to me." "I know what you're doing." "I've been you." "You're hoping this sparks my imagination and then you can say, "Wow, she's a genius,"" "or say anything because you want to go home." "I think they're very different from each other." "Well, I'm sorry to point it out, but you're walking over the same ground." "When you bring me something like this, it looks like cowardice." "Here, you can split this 'cause you're not going home." "What do you think?" "What?" " How do they sound?" " Scared." "You were a little rough." "No, the headphones." "Don't worry about them." "Some workers don't respond to that." "Look, Abe, I don't need another negative voice." "And those, quote, "workers" aren't surprised that I'm frustrated because they know that they're lazy." "Sorry." "I didn't know what kind of abuse was required to get into the frat." "Listen to your music, kid." "Because you laughed at him." "Yes, they like that." "Hello." "( mouths )" "Where you been?" "I had some errands to run." "Well, I know what somebody's getting next Christmas." "Did you eat?" "Chicken salad." "That's a relief, because my feet are frozen." "Good morning, Mr. Draper." "Morning." "How are we today?" " Fine, thank you." " You're welcome." "Seeing as how you were under the weather," "I just wanted to remind you about Jules and Terry from Sheraton later." "Cancel." "Their bosses are coming back next week and they just sent you on a very expensive trip." "Would you get Stan in here?" "Oh, listen." "I got this by mistake." "It belongs to some private." "See if you can find out some way to get it to his division." "I will." "Do you want to enclose a note?" "Nah." "I found it on a barstool." "I mean, you've got to be on my side here, right?" "First my ex-wife works the body with a brutal guilt attack and then my daughter works the wallet like a speed bag." "Doctor:" "You want me on your side?" " You have kids?" " We're not talking about me." "You know, I used to jump off mountains." "It never occurred to me I had this invisible parachute." "My mother loved me in some completely pointless way and it's gone." "So there it is." "She gave me my last new experience." "And now I know that all I'm going to be doing from here on is losing everything." "You feel loss." "Damn it, how many times do I have to say this?" "I don't feel anything." "I'm just acknowledging that life, unlike this analysis, will eventually end and somebody else will get the bill." " Good morning, Ken." " Good morning, Bob." "What are you doing out here?" "You have a meeting with someone important?" "( laughs ) No, but are you looking for me?" "I'll drop everything." "I just came out here to enjoy the light." "Oh, I thought maybe you were out here greeting customers for your catering business." " What are you talking about?" " You know exactly." "I'm sorry, are you cross with me?" "Someone sent a royal spread to Sterling's." "It had a card on it with your name." "Oh, that." "It just seemed the thing to do." "Well, it was too much." "It was almost like you were invited, but you weren't." "I guess I was just remembering when my father died." "Any gesture meant something to me." "There wasn't supposed to be a card." "Okay." "Well, take your work and go back to your office." "Sitting out here makes people think you have nothing to do, and I suspect you're hoping it's the opposite." "I guess it's time to catch up on my phone calls." "Look, we're sorry we had to squeeze in this meeting between the holidays." "We're obviously not expecting a full presentation." "Well, I can say with all honesty that Don has not stopped talking about your incredible property." "I never stayed at the Royal, but I shipped out of Pearl in 1943 and, I've got to say, I can still smell the gardenias." "Thank you for that." "Don?" "So, Bob Grange and his delightful wife Patty saw to our every need and also missed no opportunity to expose us to the unique local flavor." "Lucky Bob." "I tried to get that job, but unfortunately I got promoted." "( men laugh )" "Well, I've just come back and I'm not sure how much I've talked about it, but there is a feeling that's stayed with me." "I've been in the winter." "It's quite a shock coming back." "Well put." "But that could be any vacation." "This was very, very different." "I think we're not selling a geographical location." "We're selling an experience." "It's not just a different place, you are different." "And you'd think there'd be an unsettling feeling about something so drastically different, but there's something else." "You don't miss anything." "You're not homesick." "It puts you in this state." "The air and the water are all the same temperature as your body." "It's sensory-- the music, the fragrance, the breeze, and the blue." "Stan." "Ahem." "It's just a sketch." "Don:" "Hawaiian legend has it that the soul can go in and out of the body, but that it usually leaves from a leeward point into the waves." ""Hawaii." "The jumping off point."" "So what happened to him?" "He got off the plane, took a deep breath, shed his skin, and jumped off." "I assume this is a photograph." "More color." "That water is transparent." "Well, I suppose it reminds me a little of the cinema." "But mostly I see James Mason" " at the end of that movie walking into the sea." " What is that movie?" "I'm not sure I know what you're taking about." "He's killing himself." "I don't think they show it, but he's going to swim out until he can't swim back." "That may be a personal association for you, but that's not what this means." "We looked at this." "None of us thought of that." ""A Star is Born."" "The copy is all about the Hawaiian legend." "Aloha means hello and goodbye." "I'm sorry, but this is very poetic." " Thank you." " Where's our hotel?" "Where's the Pink Palace and Diamond Head?" "You got to have Diamond Head in the shot." "Anyone can do that." "I don't agree." "Well, there's no reason we can't tilt the camera up 45 degrees and see the husk of our city dweller on the sand and an arm of the hotel and Diamond Head in the background." "So there would be a man in this photo and he most likely would be naked?" "Actually, my first thought is there is no man." "Just his footprints." "What happened to him?" "I think, and I think people might think, that he died." "Maybe he did and he went to heaven." "Maybe that's what this feels like." " It's a little morbid." " Well, heaven's a little morbid." "How do you get to heaven?" "Something terrible has to happen." "We don't want that in the ad." "( chuckles ) Of course there's no doubt this concept itself is merely a jumping off the point." "A picture of a hotel, even yours, is easy to ignore." "This, or some version of this, demands your attention." "Well, you will continue to have our attention." "Make no mistake, we're not afraid of provocative." "So is there any time left for holiday plans for either of you?" " Happy New Year, everyone." " You as well." "What's the matter?" "You didn't get all your vomiting done at my mother's funeral?" "Roger, I apologize." "I had a bug." "Yeah, well, you didn't miss anything." "Does that make you think of suicide?" "Of course." "That's what's so great about it." "You know, we sold actual death for 25 years with Lucky Strike." "You know how we did it?" "We ignored it." "Hold on." "Can I go to Becky's for New Year's Eve?" " Talk to your mother." " Can't you get a sitter?" "Have your friend come here." "You can bang pots and pans at midnight." "It's a party." "They can't bring the whole party here." "I'll stay until 9:00." "I'll put them to bed." " ( door closes )" " Betty:" "Hello." "Ask your mother." "We're in here." "So?" "Anything new?" "I hate it." "You're ugly." "What happened to you?" "So?" "Elizabeth Taylor, what have you done with my wife?" "( laughs )" "You're free until lunch, but I have to tell you something." "Just a minute." "What's that?" "More bad news." "Giorgio died." "His family sent over his shoeshine kit because you were the only one who called about him." "What happened to him?" "I didn't ask." "( crying )" "So the secret is to rub the pot with a clove of garlic and then add twice the kirschwasser." "How wonderful that we can just stagger downstairs." "I might just get undressed in the elevator." "I don't know if I can make it to midnight, but I do know we're not leaving here until those kids are in bed." "It's a beautiful fondue pot." " Where'd you get it?" " Bloomingdales." "The kitchen store." "They have everything you could think of." "Not everything." "Tell the story." "Well, there's a guy in my office." "He's very flamboyant and he got arrested there." " Shoplifting?" " No." "But he was caught red-handed." " ( laughs )" " Apparently the men's room is a locale for a certain kind of assignation and the store detective's always going in there and looking under the stall." "So, my regional sales manager apparently takes two shopping bags, puts his feet in them while the love of his life sat on the john." "That is clever." "How the hell did he get caught?" "How old are your children?" "Um, 11 and seven." "Well, I might go kiss them good night." "Ours is a freshman at Michigan." " He didn't even come home." " Oh, I'm not ready for that." "The house feels empty." "Then you get a phone bill." "( laughter )" "Well, if everybody's had enough cheese," "I'm gonna switch to chocolate." "But first, because it looks like it's snowing," "I think it's time we all took a trip to Hawaii." "( sighs ) We're having such a good time." "It's all set up." "I want to go to Hawaii." "( chuckles )" " Oh!" " Ooh." " Isn't it incredible?" " Yeah." "( light laughter )" "Megan:" "Oh, let me explain." "I woke up in the morning and Don was at a wedding giving away the bride." "That's romantic." "How did that happen?" "So, of course, Kreutzer's yelling and Ginsberg says, "I'm sorry, but what the hell do I know about ham?"" "( laughs )" "How could they let him near clients?" "Haven't they learned?" "Hey, do you think Joan and Roger are still sleeping together?" "Because his mother croaked and she completely ignored him." "I don't know." "We don't even know if that really ever happened." "I've got pictures in my head." "I'm gonna go grab some coffee." " You want some?" " Very funny." "Hey, I'm not hanging up." "Ted:" "Happy New Year." "Ted." "What are you doing here?" "I heard there were four people in the office on New Year's Eve." "I figured I owed it to the team to at least stop by." "Oh, I'm just-- there's a-- did you get my message?" "I received them all." "And I apologize, but it was sort of a retreat for my wife and I and, well, apparently I work too much." "Well, you know the problem." "Yes." "Any solutions?" "There's one." "I found this thing." " What is this?" " It's an outtake." "He had his headset on and was clowning around." "There's two minutes of it." "Look at this guy." "What a pain in the ass." "I was irritated about it on the day, but now I'm a little excited." "I think you can show him making these faces, with no music, and say something like," ""Koss Headphones sound so sharp and clear, you can actually see it."" "It always takes a crisis to sell work this good." "You think it's good?" "Makes me smile more than the original." " Do you want to see the new voice-over?" " No." "Well, I hope I didn't ruin your evening." "Not mine, but there's people working out there, Peggy." "It's New Year's Eve." "If you knew you had something, you should have let them go." " They know they can go." " No, they don't." "Oh." "You're good in a crisis." "Thank you." "Happy New Year." "Stan:" "He likes you." " ( chuckles )" " What did you hear?" "All of it." "( Stan chuckles )" "This is Galliano." "It's from Jonesy." "I'm glad he's giving presents to someone else." "I can't stand the constant bootlicking." "He's grateful." " Cent'anni." " What does that mean?" "It's Italian for l'chaim." "It means "100 years."" "What do you think Dave paid for their place?" "Arnold, don't." "Fine." "Don, what did you pay?" "75." "Well, you're a floor higher than us." "Jesus." "Syl, did you hear that?" "Happy New Year." " ( Megan laughs ) - ( phone ringing )" "We missed midnight." "It's 1:00." "We missed it." "It's probably my mother." "Or Dave and Cathy." " Face down in the hall." " ( laughs )" "Hello?" "Um, Arnie, it's the service." "Thank you." "Hello?" "Okay." "All right, tell them I'm on my way." "I've got to go." "I need cigarettes." "I'll walk you down." "It's 1:00 a.m. in a snowstorm on a holiday on a Sunday." "You are never gonna get a cab." "Don't even try to talk him out of it." " These them?" " Yeah, you see the boots?" "What is it like to have someone's life in your hands?" "Well, it's a privilege and an honor to be trusted with that responsibility." "There they are." "Look at that." "Time to quit smoking." "It's a good resolution." "Well... that's one lucky patient." "Honestly, Don, the whole life-and-death thing, it doesn't bother me." "It never has." "Guys like us, that's why we get paid." " Us?" " Fine." "You get paid to think about things they don't want to think about and I get paid to not think about them." "People will do anything to alleviate their anxiety." "( taps softly )" "Did you read my Dante?" "It made me think of you." "I don't know how to take that." "It's beautiful." "What do you want for this year?" "I want to stop doing this." "I know." "( "Hawaiian Wedding Song" playing )" "♪ This is the moment ♪" "_" "♪ I've waited for ♪" "♪ I can hear my heart singing ♪" "♪ Soon bells... ♪" "Happy New Year." "♪ Will be ringing ♪" "♪ This is the moment... ♪" "Happy New Year." "♪ Of sweet aloha ♪" "♪ I will love you longer ♪" "♪ Than forever ♪" "♪ Promise me ♪" "♪ That you will leave me never ♪" "♪ Here I am now, dear ♪" "♪ All my love I vow, dear ♪" "♪ Promise me that you ♪" "♪ Will leave me never ♪" "♪ I will love you longer ♪" "♪ Than forever ♪"