"Wildfire, you either walk into that other corral, or I'm gonna shoot ya and drag your carcass in there." "Come on, Wildfire." "Come on, boy." "Let's go meet Susie now." "You'll like her." "You two gotta get together." "Gotcha!" "Whoa, whoa!" "Whoa, boy, whoa!" "Whoa!" "Damn it." "You and Susie are gonna make some little birds, or I'm gonna" "Earl Basset, right?" "I told you that's the other one." "Señor Basset." "This is beautiful country, but very isolated." "I had great difficulty finding you," "You see, we have had to close down one of Mexico's" "Several workers have been killed." "Ah, we have now determined that the men were killed by certain large underground animals." "Graboids." "Ah!" "I told you that's what they named 'em." "You mean..." "there's more of them?" "Yes." "The company is facing very expensive delays." "But more importantly, there are many isolated people" "Many lives are in danger." "We need someone, an expert, to eliminate these creatures." "You want somebody to go graboid hunting?" "Ah, señor, please, please!" "We've already spoken to your partner, Señor McKee." "H-He is unwilling to help us." "Sure, Val married a good woman." "Why would he want to die?" "Of course, we are willing to pay." "'Kay." "$50,000." "Go... away." "No, no, no." "He wants to pay you $50,000 for each graboid." "Look." "No way." "Not for any amount of money." "But for you, getting those worms would be a piece of cake." "Who are you?" "And why are you so dumb?" "Oh, Grady." "Grady." "Grady Hoover." "It's an honor to meet you, Mr. Basset, sir." "That Reebok commercial with you guys runnin' through..." "You like that, huh?" " Oh, yeah." "Listen, could I come in?" "I mean, just for a second." "Great." "Thanks." "The Earl Basset." "Ohh!" "Yep." "I've read every one of these." "I got two copies of this one." "I keep one wrapped in plastic." "Oh, my God, you got your own one of these!" "Oh, I bet you made a fortune off this." "Quarter, quarter," "Well, somebody did." "It sure wasn't me." "Well, you musta got a percentage." "I shoulda got a lawyer." "Wow." "That sucks." "Did he really say $50,000?" "Stack of Bibles." "Forget it." "You boys don't know how mean these things are." "Well, okay..." "okay, but..." "Yeah, but M-Mr." "Basset..." "You only get one of those on goddam Big Bird and his scrawny girlfriend!" "Yeah, but 50,000." "That's what she's doin' there." "Who?" "Ooh." "'Miss October, 1974'?" "Yeah, she's there to remind me not to keep chasin' after things" "But why wouldn't you get this?" "Earl..." "Mr. Basset, you're the expert." "You guys" "And this time, you'll be a step ahead of them." "The Mexican army is willin' to give you whatever you want." "Dynamite." "Shh, whoo, wa-bam!" "50 Gs!" "Maybe this is your big second chance." "Señor Ortega, you've got a deal." "Bravo, bravo!" "And I'm ¡Ah, muy bien, muy bien!" "Um, if you'll excuse me?" "What?" "Why do you think I drove all this way?" "When he said he was looking for the Earl Basset," "I knew Opportunity was knockin', and I was home." "I don't even know you." "I drive a taxi;" "I live in a crappy apartment;" "Look, you're going to need a partner." "How many people" "I'll do anything you want:" "Carry luggage, make coffee, light fuses." "Maybe you will come in handy." "Ha!" "When they're eating you, it'll" "Uh-oh." "Who gets the last soda?" "One, two..." "What?" "Scissors," "One, two, three!" "What's this?" "Scissors cuts paper." "I win." "Buenos días, señores." "¿Ustedes dos son los americanos cazadores de monstruos?" "Um..." "Quién es... uh..." "No, no, no, no." "'¿Dónde está...'" "¿Ortega?" "Oh, Ortega, venga acá." "Están aquí." "Welcome." "Welcome, gentlemen." "The sooner we get here, the sooner we can leave." "This is Pedro, the company's chief engineer." "Uh, buenos días." "Ysu nuevo compañero," "Mucho gusto." "Buena suerte y que los monstruos" "Pedro." "Um, I have all your equipment over here." "Oh, by the way, I have some good news." "We offer you double the price if you are able to capture" "Double?" "Alive?" "Have you ever seen" "It is only a suggestion..." "if it was possible" "No, you never know." "Earl, you never know." "Never should have come down here." "The army has sent everything you requested." "You have asked for some..." "Unusual things." "Earl, please check this out." "Look, this isn't some kind of party." "I know that." "I just think we should show a little enthusiasm here." "Let me introduce you to Kate Riley." "She's the geologist for the oil company." "I know, I know." "The monster hunters." "I saw you or, uh, one of those." "Yeah, this is, uh, the Earl Basset," "Uh, that's right." "Nice to meet ya." "Really nice to meet you." " I'm Grady Hoover," "Nice... hat." "Thanks." "I hope to hear good news soon." "Miss Riley will stay in contact with me." "Let us know" "And, uh..." "Well, best of luck to you, huh?" "Vaya con Dios." "So this is the place." "I'll show you around." "Yeah, as a matter of fact, I am." "Anyway, we've been pretty nervous down here." "Glad you guys were willin' to come all this way." "It sure is in the middle of nowhere." "Well, of course." "Stuff like this only happens..." "Hey, Julio." " Hey, Kate." "So?" "It's all done." "Yes, yes!" "Guys, this is Julio." "He's been setting up" "Yes, I've seen you in the magazines." "Actually, I'm not the original guy." "You know, you musta made a lot of money, huh?" "The royalties" "Julio, we should be able to get an accurate count now, right?" "Yes, yes." "I have a friend who invested in that company." "Hey." "Hi." "Come on in." "So, uh, we were gonna look over some maps?" "Right." "Um, coffee?" "Yeah, black." "How were those burritos, anyway?" "Um, good." "Good." "Yeah, sorry about that." "Pretty bad, I know." "But with Cook gone," "So, um... how many of you are still workin' out here?" "Only the three of us." "They had to shut the whole" "Six people got killed people I knew." "Hmm." "Well, uh, how come you stayed on?" "You're not scared?" "Shit, yeah, I'm scared." "But..." "I'm also fascinated." "It's, uh..." "With me, 'fascinated' usually wins." "Maps." "I'll get these cores out of the way." "Come on, baby." "So, uh, have the graboids come" "No, they've left us alone." "They stay about 20 miles north." "That's where the workers were killed." "Who named them graboids, anyway?" "A... friend of ours, Walter Chang." "He named them, then they ate him." "Hey, guys, look what I made." "Just, you know, drag it behind the truck." "Make, you know, make more noise." "You see, uh, graboids hunt by sound." "I'll probably just go hook that to the back of the truck." "'Moonstros.' Ah, sí." "Mr. Hoover, come here please." "I have the monitor working." "Okay." "We've set up radio seismographs all over, so the monitor will" "Cool." "You know, this is none of my business, I guess, but you guys" "You don't want to take with you the whole army of Mexico?" "Graboids, they got no eyes." "They hunt by sound." "You make a noise;" "They're gonna come after you." "If we get a bunch of people runnin' around..." "Graboids gonna spread out all over the place." "No," "So you guys are what?" "You guys are the bait?" "That's the plan." "Okay, so, uh..." "That's us." "That's our truck." "Seems like everything's workin' okay." "Well, sure it is, Earl." "This is a high-tech," "Hey, we got a good plan goin'." "Fifty thousand apiece, baby." "Ho!" "You know, me, I'm gonna get mine all at once, just stacked!" "Well, if I make any money this time, I'll invest it..." "Hey, you shaved." "What?" "No, I just..." "I just noticed" "So what?" "A man can shave, can't he?" "No, you're right." "She's a babe." "Well, here's where they're supposed to be." "Man, look at that country, huh?" "Yeah." "Not a lot of rocks and boulders out there." "Not much to climb on if we don't want to get slurped." "There's mountains around." "You said they can't" "I said they can't go through rock." "These hills are alluvial." "Oh, 'alluvial.'" "Wait a minute, that's the little dingleberry in the back" "You want to hunt graboids;" "you better know geology." "Here, you drive." "I'm keepin' my eye on this... seismo-jigger." "Oh, good call." "No offence, Earl, but you're nervous as a chihuahua." "I'm not nervous." "I'm alert." "Whatever." "Those worms have to be deaf if they don't hear us." "Hey, take it easy, huh?" "Jesus, Grady." "We got one!" "It's spotted us!" "It's comin' right toward us!" "Doesn't mean I have to like it." "Now stop." "Stop already!" "Okay, time for the secret weapon." "Careful with that detonator." "Set it like I showed you." "How dumb do you think I am?" " Catch me later on that one." "He's comin' in." "I think he's following' it." "Of course he is." "I can't see it, Earl." "Earl, I can't see it!" "Left." "Left." "Left!" "Okay, okay." " Wait." "Wait, there." "He did it." "He took it." "O-Okay." "Hit it!" "Get him!" "Oh, shit." "Earl, what are you doin'?" "Hit it!" "Hit it, Earl!" "Whoo-hoo-hoo!" "50 Gs, baby, 50 Gs!" "Oh, shit!" "Told ya." "I forgot." "Yeah!" "Ow, ow, ow, ow!" "Man, this stuff really stinks." "Yeah, don't forget to get that antenna too." "Uno de los mejores éxitos de Travis Tritt." "Vamos a continuar con una media hora de música sin interrupción." "You left the radio on the ground?" "Sorry, I forgot." "Is that a coyote?" "Yep." "Man, he better keep quiet." "Yep." "He took it." "Hey, it's my turn." "Oh, c-come on, Earl." "Let me get one more." "Shit." "Rock breaks scissors." "I win." "It does?" "I told you one stick would be enough." "You're right." "That makes $300,000." "Apiece." "I'm feelin' light-headed, Earl." "And whatcha gonna do with all your money?" "Invest it." "Well, yeah, of course," "Even at five percent, I'll be doin' pretty good." "Five percent?" "You're talkin', um, mutual funds" "That's right." "That's small, Earl." "See, I'm thinkin' big, okay?" "I'm thinkin' theme park." "Now, now." "'Grady Hoover's World" "Whoa!" "Or, you know, maybe somethin' simple, like 'Monster World,' or 'Monsterland' or 'Worm World.'" "How 'bout 'Looney World'?" "Seems to fit." "It's vision, Earl." "Vision is what separates the average..." "I know that song." "Jesus!" "Get off the ground, Grady!" "Get off the ground!" "Whoa!" "Jesus, man, those things are huge!" "Shh!" "Be quiet!" "Did you see that mouth?" "Oh, no." "It snagged the chain." "Can it do that?" "It can't be that strong." "Son of a bitch!" "Hit the brakes!" " I am!" "I did!" "It doesn't work!" "Earl!" "What do I do?" "I don't know." "Do anything!" "Cliff!" " Oh, no." "He stopped." "He stopped." "Oh, shit." "Oh, come on." "Rock!" "Rock!" "He's going under it!" "Turn!" "Turn the wheel!" "Turn!" " I'm trying;" "I'm trying!" "Oh, God, oh, God!" "Yee-ha!" "All right." "You all right?" "Wow, chain broke right off." "Jesus, we're lucky." "Well, truck seems to be all right." "Earl, that's gonna be the first ride in my theme park." "Doesn't anything ever get you down?" "Well, I'm blessed with a sunny disposition." "Most people seem to like it." "Oh, yeah?" "What does this do for your disposition?" "I think we're gonna need some help." "Help?" "Who'd be crazy enough to help us with this mess?" "The big guns pounded enemy positions for 72 straight hours." "It was the deadliest bombardment of the siege." "Yeah?" "Hey, Burt, it's Earl." "How ya doin'?" "Listen, um," "If this sounds kinda funny, it's 'cause I'm on a radio phone." "It's the only way we can call out of this place." "Earl?" "Oh..." "Earl." "Haven't seen you in a while." "Well, I haven't seen you." "Guess you've been layin'" "Layin' low?" "No." "Negative." "I've been real busy..." "lots of projects." "So, uh, how you and Heather doing?" "Well, she, uh..." "She's still visiting her sister." "Yeah?" "You know, she actually blames our problems on the collapse of the Soviet Union?" "Well, you did take that kinda hard, Burt." "Said I was hard to live with." "Said I couldn't handle life" "What kind of thing is that to say to a man?" "Anyway, it takes more than that to get me down." "I been running around so much, it's lucky you caught me home." "Well, in that case, I don't know if you'd be interested in this." "I'm down in Mexico, see, and I find myself" "What kind of situation?" "A graboid kind of situation." "Hey, you keepin' an eye on that monitor?" "Uh, yeah, I'm watchin' it." "They're just stayin' up north." "Oh, my God!" "What?" "Sorry." "Come here." "Come here." "Look at this." "I've been staring at this fossil for over a month," "Hey, Earl, that looks like one of those spikes on their sides." "Okay, it resembles one." "I really think it is a fossil fragment of a graboid." "It's gonna take months to prove..." "No, this is important, isn't it?" "Science has never determined their origin." "I read that in People." "And that's true." "But that's not the only thing." "You guys," "Precambrian." "Precambrian." "That means that this is the oldest" "I mean other than one-celled things." "But look at that." "Wait a minute." "Older than dinosaurs?" "So they're from earth, right?" "Damn." "I always thought they were from outer space." "Doesn't look like it." "¡Mira, mira!" "¡El monstruo más grande..." "Look!" "Look at the seismograph!" "Look!" "¡El monstruo viene!" "¡Es grande!" "It ain't no graboid." "It's somethin' more dangerous." "Monster H.Q., I presume." "Hey, Burt, good to see you." "Uh, this is Kate, uh, Pedro," "Julio, and, uh..." "The pleasure is mine." "Grady, Grady Hoover." "Yeah, I read all about you," "Yeah, it's a real..." "real honor." "Man, you think you got a big enough truck here?" "So, did you get me one of those seismo-monitors?" "Hey, no problem." "What you got in this thing?" "Hey, hey, hey, hey!" "Don't touch." "Don't touch." "Easy." "Mexican army gave me this truck..." "And a few little items on my wish list." "Ho!" "It's, uh, a bit much, don't you think?" "Maybe I'm wrong." "Hope I'm right." "Makes my home-made stuff look like cherry bombs." "Thermite, C-4, TNT, high-explosive..." "H.E." "Is there such thing as 'low-explosive'?" "Well, y-yes, son, there is." "I mean, the federales offer you anything you want, and you" "What the hell is this thing for?" "That, uh, might end up in my collection." "Hey, got some, uh, new equipment for you, gentlemen." "Your backup weapons." "Can you handle a firearm?" "I'll check him out." "Shotguns?" "We're not huntin' rabbits down here, Burt." "Not shotguns." "Double rifles." "Elephant guns." "Wesley-Richards 480, 375 HH Mag." "Knockdown power up the yin-yang." "But hold 'em good 'n tight to your shoulder, or they'll" "So where's, uh, Mrs. Gummer?" "She didn't want to come?" "Uh, why don't you get this, uh, stuff in our truck?" "Sure, no problem." "Look, man, I... really want to thank you for comin' down." "We're in pretty deep here." "Oh, forget it, Earl." "To tell you the truth, if I didn't get out of that house," "Heather's not comin' back." "No?" "She called me and told me to send her the H.K. -91." "Whew." "Ouch." "Yep." "So." "Anyway, it'll be good to get into somethin' constructive." "Oh, my." "What is this?" "Grizzly single-shot 50-calibre B.M. G based on a World War I antitank cartridge." "Antitank?" " Had the bullets custom cast" "Man, Burt, you put a whole new shine on the word 'overkill.'" "When you need it and don't have it," "Well, this is it, Burt." "Okay." "I'll patrol east." "You take the west." "You know, those are terrible for you." "You need complex carbohydrates." "Lower those L.D.L.s." "I gave up smoking, Burt." "What more do you want?" "Have an M.R.E." " A what?" "Meals Ready to Eat." "Freeze-dried, foil sealed." "It's got to be foil." "Plastic is not an oxygen barrier." "Includes entrée, cracker pack, cheese spread, mixed fruit, beverage powder, spoon, coffee, cream substitute, candy, salt, matches, toilet tissue." "Shelf life of ten years." "Here, take a few." "Buy 'em all the time." "Saves trips to the supermarket." "Oh, no, Burt." "We don't want to use up all your food." "Brought 120 pounds of it." "Good luck, compadres." "Oh, man, this stuff tastes like toilet paper." "Earl, that is the toilet paper." "14 May." "1500 hours." "I have a confirmed graboid reading." "I'm now employing the technique pioneered by Earl Basset to make my first kill." "Subject has taken the bait." "Preparing to fire." "Yes!" "Memo:" "Four pounds of C-4 may be a little excessive." "Yo, Grady and Earl." "I got one." "Over." "Yeah, we know, Burt." "We heard it clear over here." "Damnedest thing." "It had a big chain hangin' out of its mouth." "Damn it." "Burt, you skunk, that one was ours." "Oh, yeah, son?" "I didn't see your name on it." "Over and out." "Why did we invite him, anyway?" "Hey, pay attention." "Whoa." "We got one." "Wait a minute." "It's movin' away from us." "It must be somethin' else." "Like what, a giant prairie dog?" "Well, shit, I don't know, Earl." "It's movin' away from us." "Should we follow it?" "What the hell is the matter with him?" "We're makin' plenty of noise." "I don't like it, Grady." "They're gettin' smarter." "They got some kinda plan goin' here." "I tell ya, these boys are up to somethin' new." "They're diggin' a trap for us, or playin' possum," "Or somethin'." "Holy Mother!" "Oh, man, oh, man!" "Shit!" "Shit, how could I do that?" "I gotta get to Burt's gun!" "Whoa." "Where is he?" "Should be all over us." "What is that?" "Can they do that?" "That's a new one on me." "Jesus, Grady, what are you doin'?" "Get off the ground!" "I know, I know." "I got an idea." "Trust me." "Damn it, Grady, come on back." "He's still there." "What the hell's it doing?" "I have no idea." "Something's wrong with him." "Must be sick." "Probably ate somebody that didn't agree with it." "Jesus, Grady!" "It's okay, Earl." "He's not goin' anywhere." "Hey!" "We just caught ourselves a live one." "That's $100,000, Earl." "Oh, yes!" "Oh, yeah?" "What're you gonna do," "We just wrecked the truck." "Oh, yeah." "Hello, this is Earl to anybody." "Anybody there?" "Hey, Earl, it's Kate." "How're you guys doin'?" "we kinda wrecked our truck a little bit." "A-Are you okay?" "We're fine." "We're gonna need somebody to come fetch us." "Let me talk to her." "Would you tell Pedro to bring" "It's got a crane on it, doesn't it?" "It's going to take him hours." "Tell him to bring it because..." "We're gonna winch that slinky off to Monster World." "I'm off;" "I'm off." "Jesus!" "Damn it, he got himself another one." "The man never sleeps." "Guys, Burt here, doin' a little night fishing." "Got three of 'em on a cluster charge." "I'd say" "Come on, Burt." "This isn't a competition." "I'm just saying the score's tied, that's all." "Over." "Well, son, no it isn't, 'cause we just caught" "A live one?" "How in the..." "That's a trade secret." "I'll bet that burned his skinny ass." "God Almighty!" "Somethin's wrong with our worm, Earl." "Well, what do you want me to do about it?" "Maybe something's tryin' to eat it out there..." "They'll have plenty to eat." "Come on, Earl." "We have got to protect our investment." "Jesus, listen to it!" "Poor thing." "I mean, don't you just feel" "No." "That's cold, Earl." "Where's that Pedro and that damn truck?" "Something ate it!" "In two minutes?" "Well, somethin' happened to it, 'cause" "Something came out of it." "What do you mean," "It did that thing that things do when they change, you know there's a word for it, uh..." "It turned into something else like a caterpillar does." "Only I bet that whatever came out wasn't" "Damn worms never cut you any slack." "I said you all ought to head out to Rioverde." "Clear out 'til we know what's going on." "Over." "Kate, did you get any of that?" "Over." "Shit!" "Now, what?" "The radio's out." "How could that be?" "Man!" "You know what that is, don't you?" "Yeah." "Another one's doing it." "There!" "There's Pedro!" "'Bout damn time." "He stopped." " He stopped?" "Maybe he's taking a leak?" "That's a long leak." "Hey, Pedro!" "Pedro!" "Well, maybe we should go over and see what's wrong." "Go over?" "You mean, walk a mile across open country?" "I'm not going six feet from that seismo." "Come on." "There's no graboids anywhere near us right now." "Now, I say we go while the going's good." "You know, you could carry some of this stuff." "I got what I want." "Well, I can't say this looks good." "Pedro?" "Hey, Pedro!" "Man!" "This brings back memories." "Jesus!" "Looks like somebody took a can opener to the thing." "Oh, man!" "Look at that engine." "It's torn to pieces." "Pedro!" "Damn it!" "Where are you?" "Hey!" "There he is!" "Pedro?" "Oh, God!" "Oh, God!" "Whoa!" "It's a whole new ball game." "A whole new goddam ball game." "Well..." "Well, you know what to do, right?" "Right?" "I don't know shit!" "Okay!" "Okay!" "We can hike over to that radio tower." "Th-Th-They've gotta have a radio that's working." "14 May. 1900 hours." "I've been out of radio contact for several hours, unable to reach Grady and Earl or anybody at H.Q." "The situation dictates that I return to base." "A further mystery:" "I've not had a single seismic reading in hours, yet I tracked one of the sightless brutes" "Where the hell did he go?" "They do get smarter." "Is it possible he learned to avoid the unique sound of my deuce-and-half's" "I do not have the answer at this time." "Oh, no, no, no." "Don't tell me that's the radio stuff." "I can't believe this." "Oh, man!" "Can't we ever" "If we get outta here alive, I'll count that as a break." "I mean, there wasn't even any people here to eat." "They're doing this on purpose, man." "They're cuttin' us off on purpose!" "Shh!" "Shh!" "Quiet!" "Quiet!" "I told you they get smarter." "Hey, look." "Oh, yes!" "Yes!" "It's not gonna have a key." "So I'll hot-wire the damn thing." "Grady!" "Grady!" "What is that?" "I don't know," "Jesus!" "How big is this thing?" "What the hell is that?" "Is that it?" "Sure ain't no damn ostrich." "How does a 30-foot worm turn into that little thing?" "Shit!" "It heard us." "Wait." "We got it!" "We got it!" "Ugly little toad." "No eyes." "Wow!" "Just like the big ones." "Earl, man." "We oughta take this one with us." "You crazy?" "What?" "Sounds like a bunch of them!" "Come on, man!" "Let's go!" "Let's go!" "I'm tryin'!" "I'm tryin'!" " Let's go!" "Pedro." "Can you hear me?" "Earl, come on!" "Talk to me." "Burt?" "Anybody?" "God!" "What the hell is going on?" "Oh, man!" "Hey!" "Julio, man, you scared me half to death!" "Oh, shit." "You know the radios..." "I know." "That's what I've" "I think the repeater towers are down." "How can that be?" "I don't know." "Something coming our way?" "No!" "The creatures have completely disappeared" "With the radios all out, shouldn't everybody come back?" "Yeah, everybody should have been here a long time ago." "I don't like this." "This is not good." "Okay, stay here with the seismos." "I'm going to go look for them right now." "Okay, but..." "Oh, my God!" "Oh, no!" "No!" "No!" "Get him!" "Get him!" "Bastards!" "Kate!" "What are they?" "We don't know." "The worms change somehow." "Now we've got these things." "Julio!" "Julio!" "I know." "I know." " We got them, though." "Pedro!" "Did Pedro find you?" "No." "They jumped his truck." "He's dead too." "Have you seen Burt?" "Did he get back?" "No." "I tried to call him." "I tried you." "The radio..." "But I think we should get goin'." "You okay?" "Uh-huh." "Yeah." "Oh, no!" " Not again!" "They wrecked our car, Pedro's truck, the radio tower." "Let's get our butts inside." "What the hell we gonna do?" "Get these windows shut!" "It's like they got" "Grady!" "Grady!" "Come on!" "All right." "How many" "All right, I remember." "I remember." "There was three big sacks, or bags, in that one" "Huh, Earl?" "Can't be more than three of those things" "Yeah, I..." "I..." "That's right, I guess." "Kate, how many big worms were left out there?" "You killed all but eight graboids." "I was watching." "So if all eight of them changed, that would make, uh..." "Twenty-four!" "Twenty-four" "How many have you killed?" "Well, let's see..." "We, uh..." "We killed one on the radio tower and, um, on top of the car." "That's it?" "Well, I'm sorry." "No." "It's just that I mean..." "Oh, man!" "Now what?" "Thank God, it's Burt." "Yes!" "They didn't get him." "I think they did get him." "Burt!" "Burt, you okay?" "Burt?" "I feel I was denied critical, need-to-know information." "Well, we're sorry, Burt." "They just changed all of a sudden, man." "We would have warned you, but they knocked out" "Come on, Burt!" "What happened?" "Well, when the radios went out," "I decided to return to the refinery." "But en route, I find I'm in an ambush situation." "Must have been a couple of dozen of these things!" "I dropped the first wave with semi auto fire," "Most were in front of the truck, so I popped it in six-wheel" "The ones that got on board, I handled with a combination of small arms fire and hand-to-hand techniques." "I am completely out of ammo." "That's never happened to me before." "Well, shit!" "Who cares, Burt?" "Sounds like you killed 'em all, huh?" "I hope not." "These creatures" "You know, I mean scientifically." "That fact was not lost on me." "When it was all over, I saw one of the little" "So I detained him." "Oh, man, it's drooling." "Don't let him spook ya." "That line is 1,000-pound test." "Go on." "Haul him out of there." "Hold on to that son of a bitch!" "I'll get the door." "I knew it." "Infrared." "It doesn't hear us;" "it doesn't actually see us;" "it senses the heat of our bodies." "See that?" "The thing that rises up" "You feel that?" "Gives off a lot of heat when it screams." "That's it." "I bet that's the way they communicate." "The sound doesn't matter." "They make noise, but they signal each other" "It only sees heat?" "Yes, that's not so weird." "A rattlesnake strikes at body heat." "That's why they tore up the cars..." "They thought it was food." "And the same thing with the radio tower." "That electronic gear puts off all kinds of heat." "So basically, they bite anything that's warm." "They been actin' so smart 'cause they're so stupid?" "Now, that's not warm." "How does he know to eat that?" "Well, it tastes it with its tongue." "See how he's draggin' his tongue all over." "Touches anything he likes, uh, he eats it." "How much can he eat?" "Those M.R.E. S aren't cheap," "Looks like he's had enough." "You're feeding it too much!" "You made it sick." "Give me a break." "Probably your nasty food" "Oh, good God!" "Hermaphrodites." "They reproduce without having sex." "I claim the little one." "Hey, it was my food!" "Whenever one of them gets enough food, they just bla-a-ah," "Then one makes two, two makes four, four makes eight..." "It's exponential." "Well, uh, hell." "That gives 'em quite an edge." "You never see this in higher animals." "Ever!" "It's astounding." "Don't you guys get it?" "Oh, we get it." "We just don't want it." "The little one's getting big already." "Uh, I think we better think about leaving." "These guys have taken a completely different" "They got into your damn super-food, Burt!" "Go!" "Go!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "The warehouse!" "We gotta close the warehouse!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "This way!" "Grady!" "No!" "No!" "Not that way!" "Grady!" "Grady, damn it!" "All right!" "All right!" "This isn't gonna work." "Shit!" "They stopped." "They're just milling around." "Looks like they lost track of us." "We're like sittin' ducks here!" "Well, it looked like a goddam building!" "Why didn't you listen to me?" "These little snappers" "We've gotta be able to beat them." "I told ya, they can't see us." "Great, now what?" "Now, move with me." "Move?" "It's gonna work, damn it." "Now move!" "And step, and step, and step and step..." "I don't know how you" "I think on my feet." "Come on!" "It's working." "Comin' at ya." "Okay." "All right." "And down." "So where are we going?" "Are there any more cars left?" "Um, uh, yeah." "One." "Julio's." "It's by the storage tank." "Which way?" " Left." "Move left." "Okay." "Ready and moving left, and step, and step, and step, and step and step." "Okay, it's not much further." "Oh!" "There's one of them out there!" "Oh, shit!" "Did it see you?" "Well, if it had, I think we'd be hearing about it by now." "How far is it?" "Uh, uh, 100 yards about." "That's a heck of a shot." "Uh-huh." "Whoa!" "You got only one shot?" "before it sends one of those heat signals to the others." "I know." "Cover your ears." "Oh, Jesus." "Jesus!" "God!" "You smoked his ass." "Doin' what I can with what I got." "Oh, shit, partner." "Oh, no!" "Pop the hood." "I got it, I got it." "Damn!" "We're dead." "What?" "I didn't know." "How could I've known?" "We're supposed to be up against graboids!" "Well, you've got it." " Now what?" "We can't stay here." "We've got to get inside." "Uh," "Cantina!" "Damn!" "Burt?" "Uh-oh!" "Burt!" "Oh, no, Burt!" "Burt, it's working;" "They can't find you." "Good!" "Good idea." "This is pathetic!" "Wait a minute!" "I've got a plan," "Earl!" "Earl!" "Yeah, I know!" "I know." "I just need another second." "Ow!" "Ow!" "Shit!" "Ouch!" "That's great!" "Uh, here." "Here." "Get ready to run." "We're gonna head for those oil towers" "Yes!" "Earl, you're a genius." "Come on!" "It's clear." "Hurry." "You're okay." "They can't climb." "Watch your shin." "Oh, man!" "They can't climb." "Pretty slick, my man." "Slick?" "That was brilliant." "You really do think on your feet, don't you?" "Yeah, well." "Hey, where's Burt?" "Oh, over here." "And don't worry, they can't" "Oh, man." "I think he's gonna" "Oh, I'm just dandy!" "So what do we do now?" "Hey, Burt!" "Are you sure you don't have any more bullets?" "You know, as I lie here, I can't help but comment:" "The reason I am out of nine millimeter rounds" "And the reason for that is this mission" "If certain people had bothered to gather intelligence before bumbling into the situation..." "Knock it off, Burt!" "Nobody made you come." "When we should be packing full-auto, preferably belt-fed!" "Shut up!" "They're Precambrian life forms." "How's anybody supposed to" "What difference does it make now?" "We're stuck on a goddam roof with a bunch of whatsits" "I've done this before, and I did not like it." "Okay." "It's all my fault!" "So things didn't work out" "If I had the right tools, I'd finish the job!" "Jeez!" "Would you just all relax?" "Now, look." "Nobody's heard from us since last night, which means pretty soon they're going to be up here" "So all we have to do is sit and wait." "Okay?" "Burt?" "Okay." "So I figured I wanted to learn some Spanish, and six months in" "So, uh..." "Seeing anybody?" "Not since the monsters arrived." "Well, you know, you spend a couple of days almost getting killed, thinking about your future and..." "Thinking you should date more?" "Well, uh, yeah, actually." "Uh, look, uh," "I just don't meet that many women who can keep their cool in a situation like this." "What I mean is that, uh..." "What matters to me is that" "It's much more important than what she looks like." "Thanks a lot." "Aw, come on!" "Enough guys have told you that." "Believe it or not, I made my living" "I put myself through college." "I believe it." "I was a..." "I was even a Playmate once." "About gave my dad a heart attack." "What?" "October '74?" "Shit!" "Yup!" "Uh, guys." "Guys!" "Oh, my God." "Look at that." "Goddam little..." "heat seekers." "What do we do, Earl?" "You gotta stop asking me!" "I don't know!" "What's goin' on?" "What's happening?" "Uh-oh." "Smart little bastards." "Whoa!" "Oh!" "Come get me, you suckers!" "You hungry?" "A hundred and eighty-five pounds of lean meat." "You know you want it!" "Burt!" "Burt!" "What is wrong with him?" "Burt's always got a plan..." "Yes!" "Problem solved." "You maniac!" "Who-oo!" "Oh, Burt," "You tricked the little plug uglies!" "How's it feel to be so stupid?" "Who-oo!" "Oh, Christ!" "Did they find something to eat?" "Uh, what's in there, Kate?" " I don't know..." "Golosinas..." "Dulce." "Hell, uh..." "Dulce." "Dulce." "Sweet!" "Golosinas..." "I know this one." "Snack." "Sweet snack food?" "Rice flour." "I didn't know!" "How could I've had known?" "God!" "Don't they ever get tired of eating?" "Okay, we're gonna run for it!" "Where?" "We're not gonna make it!" "Look!" "Earl, I'm sorry." "I'm sorry I got you all into this." "We ain't dead yet." "Okay!" "Come on!" "Okay, what, what, what, what, okay?" "Uh, I've got a plan!" "Sorta." "You're gonna squirt me with this." "That's great!" "CO2..." "It'll make you cold." "Says who?" "No, they're right;" "For how long?" "Well, we gotta..." "But what is the point?" " If I can just get to your..." "This is nuts!" " Well, yeah, and..." "Let me do it!" "It was my idea!" "No, I got you all into this." "It's my fault." "We gotta do it before they break out." "Oh, Jesus!" "Yes!" " No!" "Rock rips through paper." "Huh!" "I go!" "Give me that shirt." "You ready?" "Here goes." "Man, this stuff is cold!" "Okay, here goes." "Lock this door behind me." "Lock it?" "Yeah." "I'll get the bombs and go out the other door." "All right." "Sounds like it's working." "I can't see anything." "Over here." "Here!" "Holy tamole!" "There's dozens of 'em." "Good Lord." "Wait a minute!" "Paper wraps rock, doesn't it?" "Paper always wraps rock." "Damn!" "He's startin' to melt!" "Earl, you're melting!" "Step on it!" "Come on!" "Go, go, go!" "Damn!" "They see him." "Uh... rope!" "We need rope or something." "Hang on, Earl!" "A hose!" "There's a hose" "Here you go." "Ah!" "It's too short!" "Did you hear me?" "The hose is too short." "Burt, hurry!" "Oh!" "Heads up, Earl!" "Grab it!" "Come on!" "Go!" "Run!" "Run!" "Go!" "What?" "It's the only thing" "Kate, what did he do?" "Grady?" "Where the hell are the bombs?" "I didn't have time." "You what?" "That's two-and-a-half tons of high explosives!" "You sayin' that's not enough?" "God, Burt!" "Don't tell me" "Not enough!" "Never mind." "Never mind." "Just run!" "Faster!" "No, no, no!" "Keep going." "It's gonna be big." "Big!" "Is he serious?" "Uh, Burt knows his bombs." "How big can it be?" "How long did you set it for?" "I don't know;" "I just pushed it." "God, it's going to be big." "Big!" "All right, this will have to do." "Get down; stay down; cover..." "Is it gonna be today?" " Grady, get your ass down!" "Oh!" "Hey, Grady." "Grady." "Grady, you all right, man?" "You okay?" "Yeah." "Thanks." "Oh!" "Watch yourselves." "Whew!" "Wow!" "Wow!" "You know, Grady." "Some people think" "Paranoid." "Maybe even a little crazy." "But they never met any Precambrian life forms," "Uh, look, uh..." "I don't mind hangin'" "Gonna have any free time?" "Well, spend a couple days almost gettin' killed, you start thinkin' about your future." "Thinkin' you should date more?" "Well, yeah, actually." "Hey, Earl, I just realized they owe us for 28 worms, man." "Hey, that's right." "We didn't die." "Although, we did kinda blow up their refinery." "Hey, that's just part of the job." "In fact, we oughta charge them for all those little ones too." "Oh, yeah." "We'll have enough to start our own theme park..." "Grady and Earl's Monster World." "Hey, no way!" "Come on, Earl." "This could be like your big, third chance." "SYNC:" "MUJO VON DOBOJ"