"All right!" "Batter!" "Batter!" "Batter!" "Batter!" "Batter!" "Ooh." "Almost there." "Whoa!" "Okay." "We've been through this, buddy." "Ah." "Okay, this one." "Yep." "This one." "Ooh!" "Okay, you know what?" "How about, uh, on this one we just really focus on the ball, okay?" "I'm trying, but that lady and her bichon frisé are wearing matching sweaters." "It's beyond adorbs." "Dang it." "It is." "We've got a major situation out there in right field." "Hmm?" "Is someone hurt?" "I wish." "That's right." "They started making jewelry." "Wow, that's good, dong." "Thank you." "Guys, can we wait until after practice for the arts and crafts?" "What did he say?" "Excuse me, I speak dong." "He said it will unravel if he stops." "What is happening today?" "Yeah, hello?" "Let me explain something to you." "If I really wanted solar panels, don't you think I'd be calling you?" "No, no." "So, by you calling me, you're trying to tell me that I'm too stupid to use a phone!" "Sorry." "No, not you." "You, I'm gonna track you down," "I'm gonna break your head with a pipe!" "Mm." "God bless." "Guys, her name is Kate middleton." "You've got to be kidding me." "Aww.Aww. Aww." "Aww." "So plush." "Great practice." "Let's call it." "Aww.Aww. Aww." "Aww." "♪ I'm back" "♪ I'm back hovercraft." "I guess we just have to make it hover." "Um, your house?" "So, um, what do you say?" "Like, 7:30?" "Perfect." "I'll see you then." "All right." "So, what was that all about?" "Nothing, mom." "It's not a big deal." "Oh, come on, smiley." "Spill it." "Look, we got paired up to do a school project, and she's coming over tonight to work on it." "Oh, my God." "This is so exciting." "It's like your first date." "Mom, keep it together." "It's not a date." "Uh, it's a one-on-one at our house at night with the love of your life." "Oh!" "I remember when she kissed you on the cheek for the first time." "Do you remember?" "And I caught you doing that cute little..." "Karate dance." "Mom, stop!" "What is with you lately?" "What are you talking about?" "You're on a mission to embarrass me." "I dare you to name one example." "Really?" "I've warned you." "There's a system failure." "Hey, bud." "I got to go to work." "Give me a kiss goodbye." "Mom." "Come on." "We can't see anything at all." "Even it out." "Mom!" "I'm not gonna leave until you give me... thank you." "Oh, and if that new underwear starts to itch," "I put an old pair on your bed, okay?" "Mom!" "Just promise me when she comes over tonight you won't act like this." "Hold that thought." "Okay, say it again." "It's the perfect intro for your wedding video, okay?" "No." "No." "Yes." "You turn back." "Say it again." "Hey." "No." "Stop it!" "Leave." "'Sup?" "Hey." "Hey." "I'd go with the t-shirt." "Your first date, your shirt should say," ""welcome to the gun show."" "It's not a date." "She is so annoying." "What do you want?" "It's your mom." "I know you're a little rattled because this Vanessa means a lot to you, right?" "Cannon, she's, like, amazing." "And she smells like soapy flowers." "Yeah." "You know, when I first dated your grandma, she was something else." "She had the best legs in the Bronx... best legs east of the Mississippi." "And, um, on our very first date, we went to a, uh..." "a drive-in and we watched "three coins in the fountain."" "And then we went back to my apartment, and we made it." "Made what?" "A cake." "Listen, don't sweat it tonight because I'll make sure that mom leaves you two alone." "You got my word on that." "Thank you." "Gun show." "Welcome to the gun show." "Why would we even need to know how to build a hovercraft anyway?" "Maybe if you work for NASA or something?" "No way." "I mean, even they'd be like," ""one Mars rover, coming right up." "But that balloon hovercraft thing?" "We're stumped."" "Stop spying on them, you creep." "Shh!" "He's making little science jokes, and she likes it." "If you're on top of this kid any more, you'd be a circus act." "What is with you?" "I caught him doing something." "Danny!" "Privacy!" "That's my deodorant." "Wait, you have odor now?" "I use it, too." "I thought it was a community pit stick." "Ew." "I mean, so the kid stinks a little bit." "I mean, what's the big deal?" "The big deal is, he is taking his first steps toward becoming..." "This, and I'm sorry, but capturing his last few moments is making me feel better, okay?" "So, just move over, chick pits." "I'm on the clock." "Mm!" "Mm." "Ah." "Ha!" "Yeah, hello." "Oh, this is so cute." "Okay, you guys... you guys just... just give me one." "One..." "One." "Stop." "...A special forces thing or something?" "Hold on." "My thing is dying here." "It's dying." "I'm gonna plug it in so that I can yell at you some more, okay?" "Hang on!" "Now listen, you ingrate." "You completely destroyed an intimate moment between my grandson and his girlfriend." "And I got to tell you, that makes me extremely irate!" "Cannon!" "Go ahead and say "clean energy" again." "Clean energy." "Clean energy." "You know, say that again." "I dare you." "One more time, I want to hear "clean energy."" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Say it!" "I warned him." "Dad!" "Baked potato!" "Listen to this." "Now, then." "He doesn't know what you're doing." "I don't care." "It makes me feel terrific." "The solar guy's now calling me on the landline." "I'm gonna kill him." "Listen to me, you communist, tree-hugging, twinkle-toed vegan." "You sun-worshipping, kale-chomping piece of..." "What?" "All right, hold on, please." "It's your mom." "Hello?" "My mom says I have to leave right now." "She told me to wait outside." "Yeah." "Thanks." "Thanks a lot." "Are you insane?" "Name one thing I did wrong." "Your phone's ready." "Oh, boy." "Hey, um, so, look, about last night, um..." "My mom wants me to switch study partners." "No, you really don't have to do that." "She thinks it's..." "Better." "Ouch." "What's he doing up there?" "I don't know." "He lost it." "Hmm." "Mm-hmm." "Well..." "I've had students ditch class before, but your son sat in a tree for three hours." "That is a red flag." "Yeah." "He does that." "I mean, not all the time." "You know, not in a weird way." "Just a..." "Normal amount of..." "Tree time." "This isn't the first time Danny's name's come across my desk." "It's not like he belted someone." "What are we looking at here?" "A kid in a tree." "So I'll tell him to stay the hell out of trees." "We're done." "Done." "If you'll excuse me now, I-i got my car parked in the red." "I think it's a little more complicated than that." "Look, we have a couple options here." "Have you considered sitting down with a family therapist?" "Yeah." "It's not really our thing." "What else you got?" "Well, the other option is we can put him in an e.D.B.D. Class." "E.D.B.D.?" "E.D.B.D." "Emotionally disturbed, behaviorally disturbed." "E.D.B.D." "But that's the cape class." "Mm." "What's a... what's a cape class?" "There's a kid in the class..." "Nick patoulis... he wears a cape." "We'll take the shrink." "Mm-hmm." "Where's the kid?" "I mean, he's the one with the issues." "He's riding his bike." "He was too mad to ride in the car with you." "Here's what we're gonna do." "We're gonna smile, we're gonna shine this lady on, right?" "We're gonna act like the waltons, hence the, uh, fashion statement." "And the kid, he was, uh, up in the tree, uh, saving a cat." "Bang." "We're out of here in time for lunch." "No." "No." "Danny's principal is going to be following up with this, so you're gonna go in there, you're gonna confess to being a monster, you're gonna show some remorse, promise to change, and... and say you love Danny more than life itself." "Otherwise, we're getting a one-way ticket to cape town." "Why don't you take a breath?" "What?" "Oh, God." "Oh." "So, I'm in therapy?" "Who isn't?" "Let me guess." "You're working on your impulse-control problem?" "I bet I look smoking hot in my super-sad therapy lipstick." ""Dang it!"" "I have an eating disorder." "Good luck with that." "From what you're telling me, it sounds like the incident at school was a reaction to your grandfather's outburst at home." "Yeah." "I mean, I didn't know what to do." "And now Vanessa hates me." "The truth is, my dad has had a long, tough life of heartache and dead ends." "He's had some anger issues, but he has come a long, long way, and I am sure that he is embarrassed that he let his anger get the best of him with that solar-panel guy, but I'm sure he'd like to say a few words." "Mr. gannon?" "Uh, she's right." "I am..." "So very angry right now I can barely speak." "Terrific." "What are you angry about?" "It's a long list." "Please tell the nice doctor." "Fine." "She..." "Is numero uno." "Dad!" "I would not have been at the house that night if I didn't feel that I had to protect him from his nut-bag mother." "Protect him from what?" "She's smothering him to death." "Frankly, it's just tearing our family apart." "But if I were you," "I would concentrate on the nut bag." "There is a huge difference in wanting to be involved in your son's life and microwaving a cellphone." "Danny, have you been feeling smothered?" "Yes." "Yes, I have." "She's all over me." "Look at her." "She's holding my hand with both of her hands." "Oh." "Honey, I am sorry." "I didn't even realize that was bothering you." "Unlike my father here," "I am willing to acknowledge when my actions affect others." "Honey, I am so sorry." "You're right." "I am smothering you." "And you know what?" "From this point forward," "I am going to back off and give you as much space as you could possibly need." "Thank you." "And that, dear father, is how you do therapy." "Well, it's..." "Okay." "I win." "Father." "Where are you?" "I just had the follow-up meeting with Danny's principal." "Had to massage the truth a little about our session, but I think we are cape-free for now." "Listen, this new phone that you got me," "I have no con... where..." "where are my contacts?" "I can't find them." "Unbelievable!" "I am here trying to fix Danny's life after you ruined it, and all you care about is your stupid cellphone?" "Well, look, the guy told me to plug it into a computer, but I'm not doing that." "Dad!" "What?" "Wrong phone!" "Who do you have to call anyway?" "My guy at the dog track." "What are you, a cop?" "Goodbye, dad." "Hey, Vanessa." "Hey, coach Terry." "Listen..." "I feel really badly about how things went with Danny." "None of it was his fault." "He was very embarrassed by it, and he feels terrible, and I just don't think you realize how much he likes you." "Probably shouldn't be doing this, but..." "Just between us girls, this is from the night you kissed him on the cheek." "You're the man!" "The man!" "So adorable." "Who the man?" "I'm the man!" "Who the man?" "I'm the man!" "That just happened!" "Mom!" "Privacy!" "Mom!" "Oh!" "Danny, I am so sorry." "Just please, please, please come down before principal Rodriguez sees you." "What a weirdo." "Hey, Nick." "I got to say, I'm surprised to be sitting here with you again." "I thought after our last session, you guys were all set." "Seriously?" "No." "That's me joking." "Would you consider going out with a patient?" "Oh, my God." "Just asking." "Only if they're crazy, older, and obsessed with baseball." "Gin?" "Perfect." "Well, let's go right now." "Seriously?" "No." "Not even close." "All right, Danny, why don't we start with you?" "What happened?" "Now s ruined my life, okay?" "Vanessa thinks I'm a freak." "Hey, I told you, doc." "It is now your chance to be in the cuckoo chair." "I was trying to fix things with Vanessa." "Tell me how showing her that video of me is fixing things." "The way I see it, doc, my daughter here has a lot of problems." "And if you allowed me to speak for her... no, actually, you can't, okay?" "So zip it." "Zip it?" "Who are you talking... yeah, you heard me." "All right." "All right." "All right." "When emotions run high, I find it's often helpful to begin by saying, "I feel" or "I hear."" "Perfect." "Great." "Yeah." "Uh..." "I'll go first." "I hear, Dr. Jane, that you're kind of annoying." "And I hear you think you're better than me, and I hear that you should shut your face about things you know nothing about." "Good use of "I hear." Seriously, Jane, you're starting to piss me off." "Keep digging right there, Jane, because that's where the crazy gold is, right there." "Terry, is it possible that when you showed Vanessa that video, you knew it was a bad idea?" "What?" "No." "That... that would make me a horrible mother." "Not a horrible mother." "Maybe a mother who's afraid of something." "Careful, Jane." "Finish her off, doc." "Is it possible that you tried to sabotage your son's relationship with Vanessa because you're afraid of losing him?" "No." "No!" "No." "Terry." "That's exactly what I've been doing." "I have been smothering you because you are just growing up so fast." "And I am." "I am." "I am afraid of losing you." "It's okay, mom." "No, it's not." "You're my mom, okay?" "I'm not going anywhere." "What's crazy..." "Is that I want you to go out and live your life." "That's why we left Michigan." "That's why we moved in with him." "I would do absolutely anything for you, buddy." "I love you, and I'm sorry." "It's all right, mom." "I love you, too." "Honey, if it'll make you feel any better, given the family track record, his life will turn to crap and he'll move back in with us anyway." "See?" "Hey, dad?" "Shut up." "Hey." "Hey." "I just wanted to say, I think it's really cool you're in therapy and working your stuff out." "Oh, well, thank you, Terry." "I-I'll see you later." "And if you ever want to talk about it, I'd love to." "Yeah, not now." "I-it's not a good time really at a... aah!" "It's not about what I'm eating, okay?" "It's about what's eating me." "Do you realize we spent $400 to point out that you and I are both crazy?" "Oh, please, I know that." "I could've bought, what, at least two of those solar panels for that price." "Mr. the Cannon, I made you a bracelet!" "Owen!" "He said he made you a bracelet!" "Thanks, dong." "Aw." "Look at him over there." "I just want to go give him a hug." "Hey, back off a little, will you?" "A little heartbreak is good for that kid." "He's got to learn to deal with it somehow..." "Until he's 21, then he can handle it when there are, you know, other ways to deal with it, you know?" "Just so you know, I liked it." "Your karate dance." "It was kind of awesome." "Shut up." "I know you think I'm a freak." "A little bit, but that's why I like you." "So, um, how's your science project?" "Not so good." "I can't get the stupid craft to..." "Hover, you know?" "You should've stuck with me." "I mean, besides being an awesome dancer," "I'm also really smart." "Oh, okay." "Well, I'll talk to my mom about it." "She likes you." "Kid does pretty good on his own, huh?" "You know, the cool thing about therapy is that I learned I'm not perfect, but I have found ways to improve myself for the sake of my family." "What?" "You haven't done anything for the sake of your family." "No apology." "Nothing." "So, is there something that you would like to say?" "Like my man dong over here, I'm a man of action, not words." "Isn't that right, dong?" "No words." "Three..." "Two..." "One." "Hover!" "Yes!" "That just happened!" "We did it!" "Oh, my God!" "Cheers." "Cheers." "Hey." "What have you been doing outside this whole time?" "Don't ask me things." "Cannon!" "Cannon!" "It totally works." "Do you want to see it?" "Mm, no." "Not really." "Why don't you guys come outside with me for a minute?" "I got something to show you." "Come on." "Where are you taking them?" "I'm nervous." "Shh." "Okay, now." "Since you guys both finished your work," "I thought maybe you'd like to see a movie." "Did you find our old film projector?" "And, uh, I spoke to your mom." "She said no problem." "Do you?" "Sure." "Let her in." "What?" "Open the door for her, you mook." "Come on." "What?" "Oh!" "Thanks." "Uh, you're welcome." "Oh, dad, this is so amazing." "Yeah, it's pretty great." "I am pretty great." "Mm." ""Three coins in the fountain"?" "Isn't that the movie you took mom to on your first date?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "First date." "We watched it and went back to my place, and we made it." "Okay, you don't always have to include that last detail." "True." "Love." "God, this so adorable." "I'm sorry." "I" "I have to at least take one... wow." "Just let it be." "Oh, come on." "You got to let me have this." "Just leave them alone." "Okay." "I just want one." "♪ Who's a good mom?" "You're a good mom ♪" "♪ I'm the very best mom there is, what you say?" "♪" "♪ Who's a good mom?" "You're a good mom ♪" "♪ I'm the very best mom there is ♪" "♪ Hit it!" "♪ T-e-r-r-y" "♪ so good at momming that makes you cry ♪" "♪ T-e-r-r-y" "♪ so good at momming that it makes... ♪" " Danny!" " Boom!" "See you on the Internet, mom." "Privacy!" ""Privacy." "Privacy."" "I said go away!"