"You fill your paunch with the smell of my roast!" "Pay and go away!" "Now!" "You get the sound, I the smell." "Bring me something." "If there is nothing in my mouth, or something I don't want  I will crush you." "As you wish, young Lord." "What did you fry there?" "A cowpat." "Come to my castle tomorrow at noon!" "Why do you hold the fish to the ear?" "Got no fear?" "Neither of God nor the devil." "I am the Wild Kunz." "Till Eulenspiegel." "Till Eulenspiegel." "A servant for you!" "Who doesn't spoon his soup, hangs." "Who doesn't eat his spoon..." "Till ..." "Till ..." "Till Eulen..." "Eulenspiegel." "I make you my minister." "Who are you?" "A girl, Gracious Lord!" "What are you doing there?" "I'm picking berries, Gracious Lord!" "Who are you?" "A girl, Gracious Lord!" "What are you doing here?" "We are picking berries, Gracious Lord!" "Who has allowed that?" "You, Gracious Lord!" "Before a wedding, Gracious Lord, the girls from the village are allowed to pick berries." "Who's marrying?" "I, Gracious Lord!" "What's your name?" "Rosine, Gracious Lord!" "Has your fellow paid the shilling?" "Yes, Gracious Lord!" "The tenth part of these berries belongs to me!" "Yes, Gracious Lord!" "Before sunrise you'll take them to my castle." "Yes, Gracious Lord!" "You'll help her carrying!" "And you!" "Do you love your husband?" "Then why are you with him?" "I'm the smith's daughter, he's the assistant." "Luck and women fall for the fool." "The Minister of Internal Affairs!" "That country yokel doesn't take off his hat to you!" "Why?" "He's got none." "Whip!" "No hat - no whip." "The Minister of External Affairs!" "From the village Prittwitz vanished the girl Rosine, bound for lifetime by the sacrament of the holy marriage to the smith's assistant Bertram." "Kidnapped!" "What?" "Probably into the territory of the Free Town of Wittenberg." "I tell my orders the Minister of War." "Line up an army, to go to the Town of Wittenberg," "demand delivery of the fugitive, else attack!" "What's that?" "These are our canon balls." "The Minister of Finance!" "Herr Felix Hochstetter has the honor!" "5!" "What?" "Thousand?" "Hundred?" "5 ..." "Ducats." "Ducats." "Say, have you a country girl on the way?" "Blonde?" "Hang!" "Quarter!" "Break on the wheel!" "Make eunuchen!" "Draw out the guts!" "Roast!" "Why are you traveling with that little money?" "The roads are unsafe!" "To cheat an honest robber baron out of his booty!" "With what right?" "He believes, with the right of the stronger." "How long will you stand it?" "Let's fight!" "What for?" "How?" "Why?" "What?" "He's asking why." "Why?" "!" "These are the new times." "In father's storytime..." "Young Lord." "The situation is thus:" "I've got something you need." "Money!" "You've got something I need." "Freedom!" "Freedom is no trading good." "No, this here!" "For instance." "Kunz of Winterstetten wouldn't sell himself!" "So I'm sending, with your permission, my secretary to my father and ask him for the sum of ... 30 ducats?" "87!" "37!" "87!" "39!" "89!" "39!" "291-70-1" "You've got 5 ducats already!" "41!" "40?" "40. 40." "Since time immemorial it's been customary that a dear guest is honored with the first violet." "I've been on the road early today." "Please." "Attention." "Shit." "Eulenspiegel!" "Till Eulenspiegel!" "Up, let's fight!" "I'll kill you!" "Come on!" "Clap your hands, then I'll pull you up!" "I'll kill you..." "This miracle-working holy head, from far Ireland it came into my unworthy hands, pleads to us for a resting place." "With the help of devout Christians, a chapel shall be built for Saint Brandanus." "Where undisturbed he'll do as many miracles as he may wish." "Therefore he's asking through my mouth:" "Who's able to offer, offer?" "But you must know, this dear head may accept gifts only from untouched girls, faithful wives." "Do you think I can't count?" "The church is mine, so I deserve the greater share." "If the church is yours, then ... lay an egg in the center, and you'll get all." "You think I won't do it?" "The money is mine!" "I'll measure if it's in the center." "The center hasn't been hit yet." "Where do you come from?" "We're coming from the town." "A rich benefactor died there." "What's that to you?" "We've prayed for him." "Why?" "On Saint Genoveva's day he offered 3 sheep for the souls of the poor." "It's been terribly cold." "Your benefactor shall be an example for me." "I'm giving you 12 florin." "Go to the next inn, eat, and drink!" "Thanks." "Thank you, noble Lord." "Thanks..." "That you're gonna recognize your benefactors." "I'll buy that horse from you!" "A beautiful horse!" "I'm paying well, you'll be content." "Would be an honor for me, but..." "Did you hear!" "Prince Heinrich the Gentle wants to buy a horse!" "Yes, yes, I'd love to sell it, but it's not mine." "The sheriff has donated it to the Holy Mother Church." "He lay with his maid in the barn," "Suddenly his wife comes for hay." "The maid, startled, chokes and coughs." "For all his fear the sheriff holds her mouth closed, and when the wife's finally gone, the maid doesn't give so much as a pfft." "And thus the sheriff prayed to Saint Blasius, that's the patron saint for throat diseases, and, miracle of miracles," "the maid wheezes and spits out a goose feather." "And thus the sheriff has donated this beautiful horse to Saint Blasius." "Gracious Lord, I'm a painter." "I'll deliver this horse in 3 days." "Good, good, paint it!" "When the pastor neighs, the women unlock the door." "Hey painter!" "Get up!" "I believe his end is near." "I want to confess." "Do you crave to regret your sins, that you may die sweetly and in the rightful faith?" "I'm absolved of all sins," "Only one is weighing down my soul." "Entrust it with me, before you meet your highest judge!" "My soul is faint, the sin concerns you." "Speak!" "And I will forgive you, as it is my Christian duty." "I've slept with your maid." "How often?" "5 times in 2 days." "That's not true!" "He's lying!" "He's confessed it!" "On the deathbed!" "What are you doing?" "God is happy to perform a miracle through me!" "How could anyone stay with a priest who breaks the seal of confession?" "Where will you go?" "To Mainz!" "To the bishop's residence?" "!" "To archbishop Albrecht!" "Who is my good friend" "Hey!" "Maid!" "I will give you provisions on the way." "I can offer a side of bacon, 2 sausages and a sheep-milk-cheese!" "A sheep-milk-cheese for a seal of confession?" "And 20 florin." "Away, Satan!" "No. 100 florin would silence me." "From what revelation and the Holy Virgin demand from me?" "I'll pray for your health!" "And that you'll always have a woman in your bed." "But consider, we all are sinners!" "Forgive me my dear friend!" "Give me your horse!" "Then I'll ride to the prince and won't need to take the detour via Mainz." "The horse?" "Never!" "Prince!" "Look who's coming!" "You hold your word, painter!" "You'll get the assignment!" "Show him the hall!" "What more worthy task could there be for the arts than the decoration of this festive hall, where in 6 months from today the Papal Rose of Virtue will be presented to prince Heinrich the Gentle." "At his wall the prince wants to see his ancestors." "How many?" "26." "Men in full size and women, head only" "Horse and dogs, of course, full-sized." "Here the princely family!" "How many children?" "6." "Girls." "Similarity with the prince is desirable." "Here the prince encourages you to paint a picture of your inspiration." "Recommended were a biblical theme, the creation of Adam, the queen of Sheba, worshipping the wood of the True Cross, a Christian allegory in bright colors." "A devotional background, in front of which our Prince will shine the brighter in the glow of the Rose of Virtue." "Not to forget of course the princely coat of arms!" "I'll accept the assignment provided, you Prince, will fulfill my conditions." "Speak!" "Good wine, good food." "Approved." "Absolutely no disturbances." "Agreed." "My donkey I'll need, and an assistant." "You have free choice." "This one I'll take!" "You others may go!" "You may leave the pictures here." "I'm buying them for my gallery." "A minor thing, Gracious Prince!" "My pictures will only be understood by those who are in the true righteous faith of our benevolent Holy Mother Church." "Excellent!" "A test we don't have to fear." "The bible." "Step back!" "Good, good!" "Who's reading the bible, is always right." "I don't understand how an intelligent person would work voluntarily, when he's already well provided for." "Do you understand that?" "Fully." "You are in the right faith." "7!" "One princely lion less than at the coronation!" "Might our Gracious Prince see a sign of disrespect toward his holiness the Pope in this?" "The Seven Sisters are the constellation, under which protection our Gracious Prince has placed all his undertakings for this year." "Very droll!" "Are you sure, that the viewer of these pictures isn't overwhelmed by unchristian emotions?" "Man needs over him the roof of infallible faith, that he won't despair in the earthly vale of tears." "Praise the simple people, made by God who enjoy being lighthearted!" "It falls on us to keep distant the terrible doubt." "Well spoken!" "Cause how would you keep people in discipline, once they've stopped believing?" "So be certain, what seems black for my eyes, is white, if the Holy Mother Church decides so." "Alone, what the faith in the benevolent" "Holy Mother Church inspires in us, is what we recognize in these pictures." "But who is always strong in his faith?" "Even the Holy Scripture is open to interpretation." "But we take the task to spare the weak man the misfortune of his own responsibility, for he fears more and could couldn't bear the anguish of hell." "Shouldn't you, painter, do the same?" "Such a similarity!" "You are a master!" "Consider if this picture is appropriate for your celebration!" "Traveling bunch of thieves!" "The art of stealing consists of not getting caught!" "They will be hanged." "That's Jobst, leader of the peasants!" "These are thieves no more than you are painter!" "Your Grace?" "Our Prince has a reputation for being magnanimous and full of ideas." "What if showed both at one occasion?" "This would add a unique spice to his celebration." "These poor devils - thieves, says our Gracious Prince." "What if he allowed them into the festivities and let them prove their skills?" "With a promise to spare their lives." "What's the life of a thief compared to the laughter of our Prince?" "You are a man with ideas!" "Who doesn't steal will hang." "Magnificent Prince!" "The whole world sways at the sight of your glory!" "And sun, moon and stars are shining, acknowledging your bravery." "Honored Prince!" "These treasures were brought here by my merchants from" "East and West and North and South, as far as the plain earth reaches, as a tribute to you." "In great admiration I lay them at your feet." "And you, Princess, are you not afraid of thieves?" "Don't make a fool of yourself, painter!" "I wish a real thief would come at last." "Moving up, the two of us!" "For you, well up to the gallows!" "The captive peasants, my Prince, free they are dangerous." "You know that." "They will hang us, whether we play the fool for them or not." "He has given his word." "On this day he's got to hold it." "I thought you'd be wiser..." "Till Eulenspiegel." "One could plant the Rose of Virtue to him, they'd blame the Nuncios then for the execution." "It has pleased our Admired Prince, in his immeasurable grace, to entertain our guests with a game." "Let's see now, who's paid due attention to his property!" "The master thieves, are they free?" "He who steals the Princess's sheet tonight is a master thief." "Draw the Bundschuh symbol on this here and take it to Freyburg!" "The thieves have the order of the Prince to follow their business tonight." "I have order of the Prince not to let out anybody, on penalty of my life." "Save yourself!" "Fare thee well, Till Eulenspiegel!" "Only a fool can safe himself." "A sling is still free, painter!" "Everybody shall have peace in his place!" "It's the law." "Prince Heinrich will not allow you to ignore that!" "Let's go, after him!" "You're not cold?" "How could I be?" "I've got all my clothing on." "Thanks, brother!" "The Emperor is not your brother!" "We all are brothers from Adam's side." "From Adam's side?" "What a funny guy you are." "Spectacle-maker by profession;" "Till Eulenspiegel." "A rare skill!" "No money in it." "I thought, in these ill times your craft would flourish." "Yes, but one thing spoils it." "Speak freely!" "I like to hear everybody's true opinion." "In old times, they say, the great Lords," "Emperor, Pope, Cardinal, Bishop," "Councilor and Judge, read in the law books, that no wrong would happen to anybody." "Therefore they needed many spectacles, and my trade was good." "Today instead they're keeping their eyes closed and their hands open." "Therefore one doesn't need glasses, and my trade no longer feeds its master." "Seems with your money you haven't also lost your reason," "Till Eulenspiegel." "He's with me." "He's with me." "He's with me." "He's with me." "Tell me something about my empire!" "You could become my fool." "Want to?" "You wanted to confess tonight, Imperial Majesty!" "Yes." "Sure!" "Wait!" "He who lends out his arse, must shit through the rips." "The overly long stay in the water, Imperial Majesty, ruins the liquids of the body." "What do they want from you, brother?" "Mock you?" "That's not allowed." "You are a free man!" "You have the duty to comb the Emperor." "Will you comb him?" "How can you claim this man is the Emperor?" "He is naked!" "The Emperor doesn't laugh like that!" "The Emperor doesn't laugh." "First." "This man here has laughed." "Second." "It follows third:" "This man is not the Emperor!" "Get me that girl." "She belongs to all." "Command her to come!" "She's not to be commanded, I fear." "I am the Emperor!" "Hey pretty baby!" "Dress yourself and come!" "Commands the Emperor!" "I had the smartest professors in the world." "Beatus Renanus" "He's asking for forgiveness, he is ill, Majesty." "His stomach." "Irban Hesse." "Has sent a messenger." "A storm has held his carriage in Thuringia." "He can't be here before after tomorrow." "Contes Rupianes." "It's to be feared, he might ally with the peasants." "The contest shall begin!" "Because the substantial state of all things, as Aristotle teaches, depends on four attributes, humidity, dryness, warmth, and cold," "tell me which of these elemental forms makes up Hell?" "What did he tell you?" "Wait till the Devil gets you, then you'll know!" "Tell me and prove it:" "How many days have passed since Adam's times on to this day?" "7." "And when they are over again 7." "And again 7 and then again 7." "Always 7 till the end of the world." "But that's not according to Aristotle!" "Hell is, as we may deduce from Aristotle, a place, 4 hours long, 4 hours high, 4 hours broad, 4 hours deep." "By calculation of natural science this place includes people with body and soul." "More than 11 million millions. 6 times 198 thousand ..." "Do you want to buy Hell?" "Heaven and Hell." "How do all the poor sinners fit in this narrow abyss?" "The Devil claps hands." "And one half of the poor sinners have to jump up, thus, always one half of the dead sinners will be on top and the other half on bottom." "Majesty permit, that I may ask a question now?" "How can you divide a draught into 2 even parts?" "Based on Aristotle I would say..." "It's necessary that I research the nature of the wind and its strength beforehand." "That I examine the region, from whence it came." "That I convince myself, whether it is, from its origin, a straight line or fractured at either an acute or obtuse angle." "That I examine the weather, and the sphere of influence, and whether there are storms or whirl winds in the upper air." "That at my maximum scientific ..." "Way too longwinded!" "...thematic..." "Into each nose hole at even parts." "I can't stand it when a fool is walking at my right hand side." "I have no problem with that." "And now I'll ask you a question, Eulenspiegel." "Tell me and prove it:" "who is the mightiest man in the world?" "I'll show you a play, Majesty." "I know how we could get out of here." "Both of us?" "A proud sword weighs more than a big money bag." "I'm fine here." "The Devil always shits on the big pile." "I beg for forgiveness!" "This is you, Majesty." "These are the Princes." "The rich merchants." "The Pope." "The Turks." "You are the mightiest." "You want to scare me." "You are a brave man." "This monk-calf, a terrible monster, is, not that I claim to be a prophet, safe and surely a miraculous sign from God, announcing the end of this damned and hated class." "Don't regard it with shame, that God dressed a calf with this sacred habit." "He's telling us without all doubt, that even the last will understand it." "This whole monkery and nunnery is nothing more than the false appearance and pretence of a truly divine life." "The heretics and rebels against the Holy Mother Church..." "Here!" "God has shown us the terrible monster they are:" "A crown with 2 horns on the head of the beast." "These are the two swords that God lays at the Pope's feet... that the......" "The people are a many-headed beast!" "To the cloister!" "To the cloister!" "Get the tax lists!" "The tax lists." "There is no salvation outside the church." "Not for you." "Who can read?" "Here, this man!" "Johann Schacht?" "Yes!" "Melchior Ring?" "Here!" "Martin Luprent." "Matthias Bengel." "Brothers!" "Brothers!" "Tonight I received a message from the Queen of Heavens." "From this part of God's earth shall come salvation for the rotting world." "The monks and priests shall give up scoffing boozing and whoring and shall live on the alms of the people." "Our Virgin Mary wants, that all men be equal." "Paradise will come down to earth, and all will be brothers." "Wood, field, and river will belong to everybody." "Taxes and socage are abolished." "Everybody will do the same amount of work." "The Emperor will work for his daily wage and be a villain no longer." "I want to be alone!" "Where is Rosine?" "She ran away during your absence." "You wanted to confess, Imperial Majesty." "Yes sure, I will confess." "To your health, brother." "I'm not your brother." "Shame." "To your Imperial Majesty's health!" "Does it please Majesty in your grace to receive petitioners?" "What do you want?" "Mercy, Majesty!" "Allow me the favor of avoiding torture where I would admit to have brought pestilence into town, and I will be saved from the pains of hell." "Yes, what do you want?" "A witch trial!" "It shall be so!" "What do you want?" "I'm asking, that Majesty in his immeasurable grace will choose me the execute the witch trial." "Granted!" "Majesty, in all the books of the Holy Inquisition, infallible is the method of letting the alleged witch take a ring out of boiling water." "If she scalds herself she's guilty, if she stays unhurt she's innocent." "Your ring, Majesty." "Take it out!" "Who could swear to me, that it is the Imperial ring?" "I!" "A divine miracle!" "This maid is pure." "Take her away!" "This creature, called Paukerjäcklein, spreads." "The emperor was ill with a venereal disease and says he received his knowledge from Till Eulenspiegel." "Hang them both!" "At Saint Martin's day in front of all people." "My live is about to end." "Happily I'll enter God's beatitude." "Whose kingdom will come, where there won't be neither masters nor slaves anymore." "Woe those, who stay in their aberration!" "Tear your hearts to pieces and pray to God the Lord!" "Hey you!" "Majesty, your Grace!" "You won't forsake me a last request, as it is custom!" "I won't beg you for my life." "Not for money or goods, nor any mercy." "Not for soul masses, nor eternal memory." "What I ask for is an insignificant matter and will not cost you a penny." "Speak!" "Promise me you will keep it if I won't ask you for any of the aforementioned things." "I promise you." "When we are hung now, you Majesty, shall come every morning for seven days." "With all your councilors and the Lord Bishop." "And, sober, you will kiss us on the arse!" "You see, that's a trifle and won't cost you a penny!" "Go your way, Till Eulenspiegel and Paukerjäcklein." "Dismissed by the mercy of your judges, enter the grounds of this town no more!"