"YOUR HEALTH IS NO FORMALITY, MR. BANKS." "A MAN CARRYING AS MUCH WEIGHT" "AS YOU ARE AT YOUR AGE" "HAS GOT TO FACE THE FACTS." "COME ON." "I'VE KEPT MYSELF" "IN PRETTY GOOD SHAPE." "WELL, YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE'S UP," "AND YOU HAVE A HISTORY" "OF HIGH CHOLESTEROL." "COME ON, DOC." "I'VE GOT A HEART LIKE A BULL." "WELL, DON'T TAKE IT FOR GRANTED." "ALTHOUGH THE HEART" "IS THE STRONGEST MUSCLE IN THE BODY," "IT ALSO HAS THE MOST RESPONSIBILITY." "THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS" "THAT CAN AFFECT YOUR HEART." "[BEATING]" "[FASTER BEATING]" "[FASTER BEATING]" "* NOW THIS IS A STORY ALL ABOUT HOW *" "* MY LIFE GOT FLIPPED" "* TURNED UPSIDE-DOWN" "* AND I'D LIKE TO TAKE A MINUTE *" "* JUST SIT RIGHT THERE" "* I'LL TELL YOU HOW I BECAME THE PRINCE *" "* OF A TOWN CALLED BEL-AIR" "* IN WEST PHILADELPHIA, BORN AND RAISED *" "* ON THE PLAYGROUND IS WHERE I SPENT MOST OF MY DAYS *" "* CHILLIN' OUT, MAXIN', RELAXING ALL COOL *" "* AND ALL SHOOTIN' SOME B-BALL *" "* OUTSIDE OF THE SCHOOL" "* WHEN A COUPLE OF GUYS WHO WERE UP TO NO GOOD *" "* STARTED MAKIN' TROUBLE IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD *" "* I GOT IN ONE LITTLE FIGHT *" "* AND MY MOM GOT SCARED" "* AND SAID--YOU'RE MOVING WITH YOUR AUNTIE *" "* AND UNCLE IN BEL-AIR" "* I WHISTLED FOR A CAB" "* AND WHEN IT CAME NEAR" "* THE LICENSE PLATE SAID FRESH *" "* AND IT HAD DICE IN THE MIRROR *" "* IF ANYTHING, I CAN SAY" "* THAT THIS CAB WAS RARE" "* BUT I THOUGHT, NAH, FORGET IT *" "* YO, HOMES, TO BEL-AIR" "* I PULLED UP TO THE HOUSE ABOUT 7 OR 8 *" "* AND I YELLED TO THE CABBY *" "* YO, HOMES, SMELL YOU LATER *" "* I LOOKED AT MY KINGDOM, I WAS FINALLY THERE *" "* TO SIT ON MY THRONE AS THE PRINCE OF BEL-AIR *" "CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS." "MORNING, ALL." "MORNING, WILL." "MORNING, MASTER WILLIAM." "HEY!" "WHAT'S UP, AUNT VIV?" "HI." "IS THAT INSURANCE DOCTOR STILL IN WITH YOUR UNCLE?" "OH, YEAH." "HE SURE IS, AUNT VIV." "OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?" "I HEARD THE DOCTOR SAY" "HE THINKS UNCLE PHIL MIGHT HAVE DUNLAP SYNDROME." "DUNLAP SYNDROME?" "WHAT'S THAT?" "MEANS HIS BELLY DONE LAPPED OVER HIS BELT." "AAH!" "AAH!" "HOLD ON A MINUTE." "I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW MY FATHER IS NOT FAT." "HE'S JUST BIG-BONED..." "LARGER THAN LIFE." "YEAH?" "HE'S ALSO LARGER THAN THE VOLVO." "WILL, IT'S NOT FUNNY." "CHOLESTEROL IS GATHERING IN HIS ARTERIES," "STOPPING THE BLOOD FLOW LIKE RUSH-HOUR GRIDLOCK." "HOLD IT, DR. QUINN, MEDICINE WOMAN." "DAD'LL PROBABLY OUTLIVE ALL OF US." "ONLY IF HE EATS US FIRST." "AND YOU WONDER WHY DADDY WON'T GIVE YOU MONEY" "FOR YOUR LITTLE TRIP TO MEXICO." "WELL, IF YOU ASK ME," "I THINK IT'S A WASTE OF TIME" "FOR HIM TO EVEN CONSIDER LIFE INSURANCE." "NOW, HONEY, YOUR FATHER IS A VERY RESPONSIBLE MAN." "HE JUST WANTS TO MAKE SURE" "THAT IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO HIM" "THAT WE'LL ALL BE TAKEN CARE OF." "THAT'S TRUE." "AFTER ALL, DADDY HAS GOTTEN US USED" "TO LIVING THIS FANCY LIFESTYLE." "OH, DID I TELL YOU?" "I WENT IN ON A RACE HORSE." "HEY, UNCLE PHIL." "WILL." "GOOD MORNING, SIR." "WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY?" "OH, EVERYTHING'S FINE." "WELL, HE WAS A LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT MY WEIGHT." "DO YOU REALIZE YOU'RE EATING" "ABOUT A MILLION GRAMS OF FAT?" "OH, THANK YOU, HONEY." "I'M SERIOUS, DADDY." "I'M NOT JUST GONNA SIT HERE" "AND WATCH YOU EAT YOURSELF INTO AN EARLY GRAVE." "OK, THEN YOU'RE EXCUSED." "FINE." "HEY!" "ASHLEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" "SOMETHING YOU ALL SHOULD'VE DONE" "A LONG TIME AGO." "WELL, SHE DOES HAVE A POINT, UNCLE PHIL." "I MEAN, HEY, I'M GETTING TIRED" "OF THE FAT JOKES MYSELF." "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?" "I WEIGH THE SAME THING I WEIGHED IN HIGH SCHOOL." "YEAH, IF YOU ADD UP ALL 4 YEARS." "GUESS I'M NOT GETTING AS TIRED" "OF THOSE FAT JOKES AS I THOUGHT, HUH?" "I'M WORRIED ABOUT YOU, DADDY." "I LOVE YOU." "ASHLEY, SWEETHEART," "IF YOU FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT IT," "I--I'LL GO ON A LITTLE DIET." "YOU PROMISE?" "I PROMISE." "AND YOU'LL EXERCISE, TOO?" "WELL..." "IF YOU WANT A REALLY GOOD WORKOUT," "YOU CAN GO WITH ME TOMORROW." "WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" "I'M SHOOTING THE RAPIDS AT DEAD MAN'S FALLS." "SEE, MY THERAPIST SAID THAT THE ONLY WAY" "FOR ME TO GET OVER TREVOR'S DEATH" "IS TO CONFRONT IT." "TREVOR DIED DOING A BUNGEE JUMP." "I KNOW." "I'M WORKING UP TO THAT." "WELL, I'M OFF TO MY SKYDIVING CLASS." "Will:" "WHOA, WHOA, HIL." "THAT'S NOT YOUR PARACHUTE." "THAT'S MY BOOK BAG." "OOPS." "THAT WOULD'VE BEEN EMBARRASSING." "YO, CARLTON, WHAT'S UP, MAN?" "WHAT YOU WORKING ON?" "IT'S AN ASSIGNMENT FROM ENGLISH CLASS." "I'M SUPPOSED TO IMAGINE MYSELF 20 YEARS FROM NOW." "AH, NO WONDER YOU'RE SO DEPRESSED." "THE WAY I FIGURE IT, 20 YEARS FROM NOW," "MY DAD WILL JUST BE TAKING HIS SEAT" "ON THE SUPREME COURT," "BUT WE'LL STILL SEE EACH OTHER," "ESPECIALLY ON WEEKENDS WHEN HE AND MOM" "COME BY TO SEE ME AND LITTLE CARLTON." "YOU ARE LITTLE CARLTON." "AND IF THIS FAMILY'S AT ALL CONSISTENT," "MY WIFE'S WISE-GUY NEPHEW WILL MOVE IN" "AND MAKE MY LIFE A LIVING HELL." "YOUR WIFE?" "OH, THIS IS SCIENCE FICTION." "OH, UNCLE PHIL." "HEY, YOU BEEN OUT ON THE COURTS, HUH?" "YEP." "PLAYED A LITTLE TENNIS WITH ASHLEY." "I CAN'T REMEMBER WHEN I WORKED UP" "SUCH A SWEAT." "THEN YOU'VE CERTAINLY EARNED YOUR LUNCH." "BON APPETIT." "WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?" "CHICKEN, SIR." "OH!" "YOU PROBABLY DON'T RECOGNIZE IT" "WITHOUT A THICK COATING" "OF BATTER AND GRAVY." "I CAN'T DO THIS." "I CAN'T GIVE UP" "MY FAVORITE FOODS COLD TURKEY WITH" "OH, MY GOD." "TURKEY." "WITH PILLOWY MOUNDS OF MASHED POTATOES." "BUTTER-DRENCHED DRESSING." "TINY ONIONS" "SWIMMING IN A SEA OF CREAM SAUCE." "OHH..." "YO, UNCLE PHIL, SNAP OUT OF IT, MAN." "COME ON, NOW." "THOSE DAYS ARE OVER." "YOU PROMISED ASHLEY." "YOU'RE RIGHT, WILL." "YOU'RE RIGHT." "I DID." "GEOFFREY..." "I COULD MAKE THIS WORTH YOUR WHILE." "WELL, SIR, FOR A PRICE," "I COULD SHOW YOU SOMETHING" "IN A GREASY SNACK." "OHH..." "WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?" "[IMITATING POLICE SIREN]" "PUT YOUR HANDS UP!" "STEP AWAY FROM THE CHIPS!" "LISTEN, DAD, YOU MIGHT NOT CARE" "ABOUT HOW CLOGGED YOUR ARTERIES ARE," "BUT I DO, AND I'M DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT." "AND DOING A WONDERFUL JOB," "I MIGHT ADD." "SHUT UP, GEOFFREY." "THE KITCHEN IS OFFICIALLY CLOSED" "FOR HIGH-FAT INVENTORY." "COME ON." "WILL, COULD I SPEAK TO YOU" "IN THE FAMILY ROOM, PLEASE?" "YEAH." "SURE THING, UNCLE PHIL." "ABOUT WHAT?" "THIS." "THIS IS CRAZY." "BOY, WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT, UNCLE PHIL?" "OH, THIS ONE'S EASY." "ASHLEY HID THE REMOTE CONTROL" "SO I HAVE TO WALK TO THE TV." "GEOFFREY'S FEEDING ME ALL KINDS OF HEALTHY FOOD." "WHY DOES SHE HATE ME, WILL?" "UNCLE PHIL, I'M SAYING." "SHE'S JUST FOLLOWING THE DOCTOR'S ORDERS." "YOU GOT TO LOSE SOME WEIGHT, MAN." "BUT THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND." "ASHLEY HAS SPIES IN EVERY FAST-FOOD RESTAURANT" "FOR MILES." "YOU KNOW, I'D GIVE ANYTHING" "FOR A CHEESEBURGER, WILL." "ANYTHING." "WHY, I MIGHT EVEN FINANCE YOUR LITTLE TRIP TO MEXICO." "ARE YOU TRYING TO PLAY ME, UNCLE PHIL?" "I'M SAYING, MEXICO'S IMPORTANT TO ME," "BUT NOT IF IT'S GONNA JEOPARDIZE YOUR HEALTH." "OH, LOOK, I KNOW THE DOCTOR'S TELLING THE TRUTH." "IT'S JUST THAT I'VE GOT A LOT GOING ON RIGHT NOW." "I'M UNDER A LOT OF PRESSURE." "YOU LET ME GET A RUNNING START AT THIS DIET." "[PROGRAMS TREADMILL]" "SEE?" "UH, HOW MUCH RUNNING YOU TALKING ABOUT?" "UH, WELL--WELL, WELL," "I'LL MAKE A NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION" "[INCREASING SPEED]" "AND BY MARCH-- FEBRUARY, UH," "YOU WON'T EVEN RECOGNIZE YOUR OLD UNCLE PHIL." "AND THAT'S THIS NEW YEAR'S, RIGHT?" "WELL..." "[INCREASING SPEED]" "WELL, UH, YOU HAVE MY SOLEMN VOW." "WELL, I'M OFF." "WHAT ARE YOU DRESSED FOR?" "I'M LEARNING TO DRIVE A FORMULA ONE RACE CAR." "Phil:" "HILARY, I'VE HAD ENOUGH" "OF YOUR DEATH-DEFYING STUNTS," "AND I WANT IT STOPPED NOW." "[WHIMPER]" "WHAT HE MEANS, DEAR," "IS WE DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU" "TAKING RISKS LIKE THIS." "MY THERAPIST WAS RIGHT." "YOU JUST AREN'T NURTURING ENOUGH." "MOM, I DON'T THINK WE CAN GO" "TO THE MOVIES TONIGHT." "WHY NOT?" "NO ONE'S GONNA BE HOME EXCEPT FOR DADDY," "AND I'M AFRAID HE'S GONNA CHEAT ON HIS DIET." "WHAT?" "YOU DON'T THINK YOU CAN TRUST ME?" "DON'T WORRY, HONEY." "THERE'S NO UNHEALTHY FOOD IN THE HOUSE," "AND I'LL TAKE ALL THE CAR KEYS WITH ME." "THIS IS RIDICULOUS." "OK, I'LL PUT ALL THE LOCAL PIZZA PLACES" "ON ALERT AND TELL THEM NOT TO DELIVER." "DOESN'T MY WORD MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?" "OF COURSE IT DOES, DARLING." "BETTER CALL THE CHINESE RESTAURANTS, TOO." "YOU GOT THE STUFF?" "RIGHT HERE." "YOU GOT THE MONEY?" "TAKE A CHECK?" "COME ON, UNCLE PHIL," "I'M LEAVING FOR MEXICO IN AN HOUR." "LOOK, I JUST DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE" "THAT KIND OF CASH ON ME." "WELL, I HOPE THERE'S AN ATM NEARBY" "'CAUSE I'VE BEEN BUYING YOUR FOOD ALL WEEK," "AND I AIN'T GOT NO PROBLEM EATING YOUR DINNER." "ALL RIGHT." "ALL RIGHT." "ALL RIGHT." "ALL RIGHT." "HERE." "IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU'RE NOT" "WASTING TIME CHEWING." "OHH..." "OOH." "SEE, THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR EATING ALL FAST." "LET ME GET YOU SOMETHING FOR THAT." "OH..." "AH, HERE'S ONE, UNCLE PHIL." "RELIEVES CRAMPS, BLOATING," "AND IRRITABILITY." "OH, NO, NO." "THIS IS GEOFFREY'S." "WILL." "OH, HERE'S ONE, UNCLE PHIL." "IT SAYS IT RELIEVES GAS," "AND I GOT TO BE HONEST, BROTHER," "THE PAST COUPLE DAYS, YOU'VE BEEN..." "NO." "OH, WHAT YOU WANT?" "I WANT AN AMBULANCE." "I THINK I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK." "OW!" "OHH..." "UHH..." "[SIREN]" "THAT'S A NICE HAT." "THANKS A LOT, MAN." "LOOK, IS MY UNCLE GONNA BE ALL RIGHT?" "DON'T WORRY." "HE'S MY FOURTH HEART ATTACK TODAY," "AND I ALREADY LOST ONE OF THEM." "A TWO-DEAD DAY IS RARE." "LOOK, MAN, I DON'T CARE HOW RARE IT IS." "YOU BETTER MAKE SURE YOU DON'T LOSE THIS ONE!" "WILL, I CAN'T BREATHE." "MY UNCLE CAN'T BREATHE, MAN!" "COULD BE 'CAUSE YOU'RE LEANING ON HIS AIR HOSE." "I'M SORRY." "I'M GONNA BE ALL RIGHT, WILL." "I'LL BE FINE." "YOU GO WITH YOUR FRIENDS TO MEXICO." "I'LL BE OK." "NO, NO, NO." "I'M WITH YOU, MAN." "I'M STAYING WITH YOU TILL THE END." "THAT WAS A REALLY POOR CHOICE OF WORDS." "I'M SORRY." "WOULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR, WILL?" "UNCLE PHIL, WE ARE NOT STOPPING FOR NO BURGER." "NO!" "NO, NO." "WOULD YOU TELL CARLTON TO LOOK AFTER THE FAMILY," "WELL, JUST IN CASE THIS IS MY LAST RIDE?" "YOUR LAST RIDE?" "WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT, MAN?" "WE'RE GONNA GO FOR PLENTY RIDES" "IN AMBULANCES, MAN." "I MEAN, YOU GONNA BE ALL RIGHT, UNCLE PHIL." "HEY, MAN, HE IS GONNA BE ALL RIGHT, ISN'T HE?" "WELL, IF I SAY HE IS AND HE CROAKS," "YOU GONNA BE UPSET, RIGHT?" "YOU'RE A REAL PEOPLE PERSON, AREN'T YOU?" "I GUESS." "HEY, IF HE STILL WANTS TO STOP FOR A BURGER," "I CAN GET TROY TO SWING BY THE DRIVE-THRU." "WITH THE SIREN ON," "WE DON'T HAVE TO WAIT IN LINE." "WHY ARE THEY TAKING SO LONG" "WITH THOSE TESTS?" "THE EMERGENCY DOCTOR SAID IT'S ROUTINE" "WITH HEART ATTACKS." "WHERE'S CARLTON?" "I LEFT HIM A MESSAGE ON THE PHONE MACHINE." "I WAS SURE HE'D BE HERE BY NOW." "THIS IS ALL MY FAULT." "I PUSHED DADDY WAY TOO HARD" "ON THE TENNIS COURT." "NO." "ASHLEY, IT WAS ME." "I SCARED HIM HALF TO DEATH" "WITH MY STUPID THRILL-SEEKING." "I'M AFRAID, DEAR FAMILY," "THAT I AM THE CULPRIT." "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, GEOFFREY?" "YEARS OF MY RICH SAUCES," "PRIME CUTS OF BEEF, SUMPTUOUS DESSERTS," "HAVE CERTAINLY GONE TO HIS HEART." "YES, BUT IF I WASN'T THERE" "TO EXCUSE HIS BEHAVIOR," "THIS NEVER WOULD'VE HAPPENED." "GOOD POINT." "YOU CAN'T BLAME YOURSELF, MOM." "OH, GO AHEAD, PHILIP, HAVE DESSERT." "YOU'VE HAD A HARD DAY." "NOT TO WORRY, WE CAN LET THOSE PANTS OUT." "I'M TOO TIRED." "GO DOWNSTAIRS AND HAVE A SNACK." "UM, I HATE TO INTERRUPT THIS GUILT-FEST," "BUT, UM, I THINK THAT I HAVE TO TAKE THE RAP" "FOR THIS ONE." "WELL, YOU HAVE BEEN A LITTLE WILD" "THESE PAST 4 YEARS." "NOT TO MENTION YOUR NEGATIVE INFLUENCE" "ON CARLTON." "LET'S NOT FORGET HIS CONSTANT BARRAGE OF FAT JOKES." "LIKE THIS MORNING." "THE WHITE ELEPHANT." "Ashley:" "STOP IT, EVERYBODY." "YOU'RE MAKING WILL FEEL BAD." "NO, NO, IT'S COOL, ASH." "THEY'RE RIGHT." "IT IS MY FAULT," "ESPECIALLY SINCE I'VE BEEN SNEAKING HIM FOOD" "FOR THE PAST WEEK." "YOU WHAT?" "I MEAN, HE SAID IT WAS ONLY GONNA BE UNTIL NEW YEAR'S." "IT WASN'T ALL BAD FOOD." "I MEAN, THE FRIED RICE HAD BEAN SPROUTS IN IT." "[HEART MONITOR BEEPS]" "UNCLE PHIL, I'M SORRY, MAN." "YOU WOULDN'T EVEN BE IN HERE" "IF I WASN'T SNEAKING YOU FOOD." "LOOK, I LOVE YOU, MAN." "I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU." "I'M SORRY." "UNCLE PHIL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?" "I HAD A HEART ATTACK, WILL." "HEY, HOW COME YOU DIDN'T TELL ME" "YOU WEREN'T MY UNCLE, MAN?" "WELL, NOBODY EVER COMES TO VISIT ME." "I CRAVE THE ATTENTION." "WILL, SEE IF HE'S GONNA FINISH HIS I.V." "YEAH, ME BRINGIN' YOU FOOD" "IS WHAT GOT YOU IN HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE." "WHAT?" "YOU THINK A WEEK'S WORTH" "OF CHILI BURGERS PUT ME IN HERE?" "FORGET ABOUT IT." "IT'S FROM YEARS OF NOT TAKING CARE OF MYSELF." "YEAH, BUT I DIDN'T HAVE TO HELP YOU." "OH, COME ON." "I HUSTLED YOU TO GET ME THAT FOOD." "NOBODY BLAMES YOU." "A WHOLE WAITING ROOM FULL OF PEOPLE" "WITH A DIFFERENT OPINION." "OH, THE FAMILY'S HERE, HUH?" "WELL, JUST ABOUT." "CARLTON'S NOT HERE, YET." "NO?" "OH, WE LEFT A MESSAGE FOR HIM." "YOU KNOW, HE PROBABLY JUST DIDN'T GET IT YET." "OH." "YEAH." "YEAH, SURE." "THAT'S IT." "YES." "IS CARLTON YOUR SON?" "YEAH, I GOT A SON." "HE DON'T COME TO VISIT ME, EITHER." "I'LL SEND THE FAMILY IN, UNCLE PHIL." "OK." "EXCUSE ME." "ARE YOU THE BANKS FAMILY?" "YES, WE ARE." "I'M DR. KEVARKIAN." "[GASP] [GASP]" "NOT KEVORKIAN, KEVARKIAN WITH AN "A."" "HOW'S MY FATHER DOING?" "HE'S GOING TO BE FINE," "BUT HE'S GONNA HAVE TO START TAKING CARE OF HIMSELF." "IS HE STILL AWAKE?" "YOU CAN GO SEE HIM." "GEOFFREY, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THE BABY HOME." "VERY WELL, MISS HILARY." "IS THAT CARLTON?" "MR. BANKS HAS BEEN ASKING FOR HIM." "UM, CARLTON'S A LITTLE BIGGER," "WEARS A BOW TIE." "OH, DOCTOR, BEFORE I LEAVE," "COULD I ASK YOU A COUPLE OF QUESTIONS" "ABOUT..." "OINTMENTS?" "OH, MY GOD!" "CARLTON, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" "CLEANING THE OVEN." "WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?" "OH." "HOW COME YOU'RE NOT AT THE HOSPITAL, MAN?" "IT SAYS RIGHT HERE ON THE LABEL" "TO LET FOAM SIT FOR 45 MINUTES." "MY HANDS ARE TIED." "CARLTON, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU, MAN?" "YOUR FATHER JUST HAD A HEART ATTACK." "YOU DON'T KNOW THAT." "IT COULD BE ACUTE INDIGESTION." "EVEN DOCTORS HAVE MADE THAT MISTAKE." "DOES THAT WINDOW LOOK SMUDGED TO YOU?" "CARLTON, YOU'RE GOING DOWN TO THAT HOSPITAL" "IF I HAVE TO KNOCK YOU OUT" "AND CALL AN AMBULANCE." "YOU COME NEAR ME, I'LL SPRAY." "MAN, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE." "YOU CAN BE WITH YOUR FATHER" "WHENEVER YOU WANT." "YOU CAN EAT WITH HIM AND ARGUE WITH HIM." "HE'S THERE FOR YOU." "YOU KNOW WHERE MY FATHER IS?" "NO." "NEITHER DO I." "LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO SEE MY FATHER" "WITH TUBES UP HIS NOSE, OK?" "CARLTON, THERE'S GONNA COME A TIME" "WHEN ALL HE HAS IS TUBES UP HIS NOSE." "NOT MY FATHER!" "EVERYBODY'S FATHER, EXCEPT MINE," "'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE HELL HE IS!" "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, WILL." "YES, I DO." "YOU'RE SELFISH." "YOUR FATHER'S RESTING COMFORTABLY." "WHY DON'T YOU TAKE YOUR FAMILY HOME." "OH, WELL, THEY FINALLY FELL ASLEEP." "I DON'T WANT TO WAKE THEM." "YOU DON'T SLEEP?" "I'VE GOT A LOT ON MY MIND, DR. KEVORKIAN." "KEVARKIAN WITH AN "A."" "CALL ME RUSSELL." "I'M ON BREAK NOW." "YOU WANT TO GO DOWNSTAIRS" "AND HAVE AN EARLY BREAKFAST?" "WELL, THANK YOU, RUSSELL, BUT..." "I CAN'T." "I'M IN MOURNING." "LOOK, YOUR FATHER'S GOING TO BE FINE." "OH, NO." "SEE, MY FIANCE HAD THIS UNFORTUNATE ACCIDENT." "THAT'S WHY I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO" "BUNGEE JUMPING EARLIER TODAY." "SEE, DR. MARTLIN SAID" "DO YOU KNOW HIM?" "NO." "WELL, ANYWAY, HE'S MY THERAPIST," "AND HE THOUGHT THAT IF I JUMPED" "FROM THE SAME PLACE THAT TREVOR JUMPED" "WELL, HE DIDN'T EXACTLY SAY THAT," "BUT YOU KNOW HOW SOMETIMES" "YOUR THERAPIST SAYS ONE THING" "AND THEY MEAN SOMETHING ELSE" "AND IF YOU HAVE TO FIGURE OUT" "WHAT THIS WHOLE THERAPIST TALK THING IS," "AND YOU CAN NEVER" "OH, LOOK AT THAT!" "I'M BEING BEEPED." "I DIDN'T HEAR ANY BEEP." "DAD?" "ARE YOU OK?" "ME?" "I'LL BE FINE." "I'LL BE OUT OF THIS BED IN NO TIME." "HOW ABOUT YOU?" "ARE YOU OK?" "ME?" "SURE." "I MEAN..." "I SHOULD'VE COME SOONER, DAD, BUT I WAS SCARED." "YOU'RE LIKE SUPERMAN TO ME." "YEAH." "CHEESECAKE IS MY KRYPTONITE, HUH?" "I'M SORRY I LET YOU DOWN, SON." "YOU COULD NEVER LET ME DOWN, DAD." "I LOVE YOU." "HEY, SUPERMAN!" "ASK JUNIOR TO GET ME A BEDPAN." "Will:" "AH!" "WHOOMP!" "THERE HE IS!" "OH, MAN." "HEY, UNCLE PHIL." "BET YOU NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D GET A STANDIN' "O"" "IN THIS HOUSE, HUH?" "WELL, THERE WAS A TIME" "I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE THIS HOUSE AGAIN." "OH, YOU PROBABLY WORRIED ABOUT" "JUST SEEIN' THIS KITCHEN AGAIN, RIGHT?" "I'M SORRY." "THAT'S A LEFT-OVER FAT JOKE." "I'M TRIPPIN'." "OH, GO AHEAD." "YEAH, WELL, YOU GET 'EM IN WHILE YOU CAN." "SOON I'LL BE A LEAN, MEAN, JUDICIAL MACHINE." "I'LL COVER ALL BETS ON THAT ONE." "DADDY, WE'RE NOT GONNA DO ANYTHING" "TO MAKE YOU UPSET EVER AGAIN." "OH, BY THE WAY, I DENTED THE MERCEDES." "SWEETHEART, I AM SO GLAD" "TO HAVE YOU HOME SAFE AND WELL," "AND IF YOU EVER DO ANYTHING" "TO SCARE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN," "I'LL KILL YOU." "DON'T WORRY." "I WON'T." "I'M LUCKY TO HAVE SUCH A WONDERFUL FAMILY..." "EVEN MY PAIN-IN-THE-BUTT NEPHEW." "HA!" "I LOVE YOU, TOO, UNCLE PHIL." "HEY." "COME ON, LET'S GO WATCH SOME TV." "THERE'S STILL NO FURNITURE." "OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT." "OH, MAN, WE DON'T HAVE NO REMOTE." "SURE, WE DO." "GEOFFREY!" "CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS." "CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE" "DO YOU REALIZE YOU'RE EATING" "ABOUT A MILLION GRAMS OF FAT?" "THANK YOU, HONEY." "GEOFFREY, YOU SKIMMED ME" "ON THE PROVOLONE, HUH?" "I'M SERIOUS, DADDY." "I'M NOT GONNA JUST SIT HERE" "AND WATCH YOU EAT YOURSELF INTO AN EARLY GRAVE." "SO YOU'RE GONNA THROW A FORK AT ME?" "I TRIED TO KEEP GOING."