"Whoever you may be, at dusk, leave your room, where you know it all;" "your house is the last in the distance, whoever you may be." "It was a day invented... by the magicians' scarf." "The other day an old man died right where you are." "Here?" "Yes." "What did he die of?" "Old age, I guess." "Have you got a cigarette?" "I don't smoke." "What were you writing?" "I read what you wrote before." "What does it mean?" "My train." "Hug me, hug me!" "I love you so much." "The restaurant closes to the public in hour an a half." "I'm not having dinner." "The lights are like that since it's raining." "Your key, sir." "Thank you." "Good night." "Can you find them?" "Look, let's do this." "I'll hang up and when you find them, call me." "Look in the other drawers." "I'll wait for your call." "Yes, until you call." "Give the baby a big kiss for me." "Yes." "29 February, funeral of the writer Sela Huber." "Fortunately, it is a moonlit night," "and well," "the moon is our neighbour." "Did you find them?" "Tell me what they're like." "Yes, describe them." "Okay." "Send them to me in the morning to the Intercontinental." "I can't see anything." "There's nothing." "Good morning." "This is for you." "Itjust arrived." "You can't go, Sela!" "You have to go to a hospital!" "Stefan..." "Leave me alone!" "Stop looking, there's no liquor left" "You still write at night?" "." "I don't write anything anymore." "Answer the phone." "Not now." "I'll say you're not in." "No, I'll go." "I broke a glass." "Here, I'll clean up later." "Do you think it's possible to...?" "I can't remember." "Yes, I remember." "Is it possible to do something without rendering part of yourself?" "When I write, for example, nothing I write has to do with me." "With who does it, then?" "Actually, no one." "Absolutely no one." "Shall we talk on Monday, at my office?" "We made a deal." "The famous deal!" "Every time you have something to tell me, I get the feeling you expect me to lower my guard." "For you to be drunk?" "Sorry, I don't know what I'm saying." "I have to go." "Wait, don't go yet." "Where have I heard that before?" "Really, I have to go." "I'll call to ask about your" "hangover and mine." "Can I call a cab?" "I'll do it on the way down." "Look, there it is." "You'll miss it." "It's coming." "See it?" "Hi, this is Sela." "I'm at work and can't attend to you." "Call later or leave a message." "Look in your pockets." "Sela." "We won't let you get on." "Let's go." "Hi, this is Sela." "I'm at work and can't attend to you." "Call later or leave a message." "Sela?" "Sela." "I don't know when to call you." "You said you'd call me 2 weeks ago." "I've already moved and leave town tomorrow." "Sela?" "You give up very easily." "You're newborn and must learn to show your worth." "This is supposed to be like a jungle." "I'm going to sit, I'm still dizzy." "Have you been on the swings?" "Sure." "I was in a group and we did that kind of things." "What kind?" "Regressions to the maternal uterus and things." "And after, what did you do?" "You want to know?" "Yes." "You want to continue?" "I've started." "How do you feel?" "Puzzled." "Just like a baby who, a few seconds after birth, doesn't know if it's rejected or welcome." "When will I know?" "Not now." "...just as I thought." "When I die, this city will go to hell." "They'll let speculators take over, like now." "It's betterthat way, the sooner the better." "What's your new book about?" "Say something." "It's about a pygmy family who go to New York invited by a TVshow, and the audience is sick of the same faces." "But before reaching the hotel, the family gets lost and splits up." "The father has a fight with a taxi driver over the luggage." "The police don't understand him, and jail him." "It's winter in N.Y, the mother is freezing and tries to get warm by a bonfire lit by some thieves who rob her money, documents and beat her." "She loses her memory and wanders through the city." "Meanwhile, the son..." "Sela, come here." "I must finish this, Stefan." "You never tell me what you write." "Why?" "You can read it later, calmly." "I'm dying, and know nothing about you." "Me either." "I don't want you to cry." "At times I'm tempted to take you with me." "Where?" "I'm serious." "You're hurting me." "Not for me." "I want nothing." "Let's go to the cinema." "I should be home, studying." "Can I help you?" "To do what?" "." "To study." "You know..." "I've started writing a novel." "At times" "I feel my head is about to explode, that something will explode inside." "Then I have to go somewhere with a lot of people, a lot of noise," "so as to not hear my head beating." "It's as if instead of a head," "I had a heart or a bomb." "It's what I've been waiting for." "What?" "." "To write." "To want something, but being afraid so intensely, outof control." "I never felt anything like it." "Do you ever?" "." "The tea!" "Lars!" "Don't go." "Stefan!" "The days at the Cassano's residence were always the same." "Nothing varied the routine they considered indispensable for their happiness..." "Hi, it's me." "I'll get there this afternoon around 7." "I hope I can see the baby awake." "How's the weather?" "Still raining?" "Do you know what I did after breakfast?" "I stole a book from a library, a bookshop." "It occurred to me suddenly." "I wanted to do that since I was a student and, I don't know why, but I did it." "Maybe because I'm no longer a student." "How stupid, no?" "No, don't worry, nobody saw me." "If I feel any remorse, I'll take it back." "Give the baby a big kiss for me." "I love you." "To achieve their happiness." "It had been that way year after year and that winter didn't forecast any difference." "Sir." "I need help, please." "Please." "Please sit here." "I'm in a hurry." "Don't speak so loud." "You see, last night I caught a very rare, unique butterfly." "I think no one knows it exists." "I put it in this basket but it got away this morning and I can't catch it, I can't recover it alone." "I need help." "Where is it?" "Behind you." "On the ceiling." "Butterflies are very sensitive to sudden movements and very loud noise." "Have you any flowers?" "Flowers?" "What for?" "To catch it." "No, it's a night butterfly," "flowers don't attract it." "How, then?" "We have to get it down and put it in the basket." "Don't get up." "It must first get used to you, to your presence." "But I have to go." "I must catch a train." "I have to go too, but I can't without it." "It could be the last of its species." "I can't let it get away." "I've waited all my life for something like this." "Would you let the only important thing in your life get away?" "Luckily, spring is very early this year." "I even have a name for it." "Madame Butterfly." "Yes, like the opera." "Know it?" "No, I know nothing about opera." "In ancient times they represented a soul." "That's why they must be given a name." "What for?" "You'll kill it anyway." "Now's the right time." "Be careful." "Don't touch it." "Go away." "Can you give me anything?" "Give me something." "Are you hungry?" "No." "Get out of here." "I told you not to bother anyone." "Why not give me your watch?" "I said get out." "Excuse me, but I think we know each other." "I'm Cristina." "From the University." "Don't you remember?" "No." "Aren't you Lars?" "No, no, no..." "I'm sorry, I made a mistake." "Excuse me." "Lars?" "I didn't hear you come in." "I wrote you a letter and left it here for you to read later." "I didn't want to disrupt your work." "I know you hate to be interrupted..." "Want some tea?" "Don't treat me as a visitor, please!" "I can't do anything while you all day working on these novels, locked up in this mysterious room." "I'm sorry," "I don't know what I'm saying." "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm leaving." "No, no, Lars, don't go." "Sit for a moment." "Are you cold?" "No." "What a dumb question, you're always cold." "Have you eaten?" "Want anything?" "Don't treat me like you were my mother." "Not now!" "Aren't you going to read my letter?" "I wrote one too." "Is it in your study?" "Yes." "Then go get it." "There's no need." "I know it by heart." "It says:" ""Dear Lars." "I've been thinking for days, trying to remember at what moment what one of us felt stopped encouraging the other," "when memories became more important than the present." "Love is slipping through our fingers, Lars." "Although we clench our fists tight, love slips away in another direction" "and we can't do anything." "Not anymore." "Let's quit before we hurt each other, demanding what no longer exists, and conserve at least a last sparkle of our love. "" "Won't you read mine now?" "Don't leave me." "Give me a little time." "Let's travel..." "Please help me." "Please." "Please." "What if I don't?" "You have no choice." "Your mother is pushing." "Doctors and nurses cheer her on." "It hurts but she's tired of carrying you and wants to be rid of you." "Can I?" "Wait 5 more seconds." "This is the most critical moment." "That's it, you're born." "Are you going to be long?" "What will you give us if we let you on?" "We haven't got anything." "Are you sure?" "Look in your pockets." "Sela..." "What are you doing here?" "It's garbage." "Why?" "What is garbage?" "There are no walls but I'm suffocating." "I want to get out of here and never come back." "I feel like jumping headfirst." "Today I lost a patient in surgery." "While I was operating I thought he had only a few months left." "I never used to think about the patients' future." "I operated, and period." "Be careful, they have radar traps here." "This car isn't fast anymore." "I must buy a new one." "You don't mind, do you?" "Edmond," "It's not mine now." "Do as you please." "Every day I think it will be the last, that you'll leave me the next day." "Edmond, a dog!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "Do whatever you want!" "You'd like that!" "I can't do it all, and I'm moving!" "Stop threatening me!" "Me?" "As usual, you're who yells and kicks!" "And don't tell anyone I touched you!" "You'll ruin me!" "Don't touch me!" "You'll break that!" "You want help?" "Break it all so I can't take anything!" "Where are you going?" "Have you made coffee?" "If I can't have coffee doesn't mean you can't." "You don't want me to see you have it." "Leave it and listen." "Sit down, please." "I pissed on the mattress." "I know." "Why didn't you tell me?" "Why not tell me not to piss on your mattress again?" "Answer me." "I'll go to a clinic where I can piss all beds" "I want, without apologies." "Do as you please." "Can I go now?" "Now go and make some coffee." "A woman..." "A woman reaches the border, and when about to cross it, a border guard stops her and orders her to open her bag," "but she says she can't because she's lost the key." "The guard, after frisking her, tells her she can cross without the bag or turn back." "Without thinking twice, she says she'll cross if he saves the bag until she returns." "The guard asks what's in the bag and she says it's only her heart." "The guard asks her if she isn't afraid of leaving it." "As long as no one opens the bag, there's no danger." "The guard asks her what would happen if anyone opened it." "She said the air would dry the heart up and it would stop." "The guard decides to save the bag and lets her cross the border." "As time goes by, the woman doesn't return." "Years go by and the guard wants to open it." "And after a long time, when he is fully convinced that the woman will not be back," "he has a locksmith open the bag and, once opened, the heart inside dries up and stops beating." "Don't pull that face." "Just talk to me." "It doesn't matter." "Whatever..." "Yes, I'm listening." "I'm listening to you." "Keep talking." "If you hang up, I'll call again." "Hello." "Yes, I hear you." "I had it off." "I though you'd hear my message." "Fine." "I may say one more day, depending upon the weather." "I went out for a drink." "It's empty, there's no one." "I'll call you before." "Now try to sleep." "Yes, so do I." "Edmond!" "Do you know him?" "An old patient, maybe." "You don't remember?" "Many heart patients gamble after they're cured." "Can I see you operate sometime?" "What for?" "I want to see you operate." "I will the day you let me see how you write." "Well?" "I'm going to the bar." "Stay." "I don't give you luck." "I don't give you luck either." "I don't mind losing." "Really?" "Why do you come, Sela?" "You've seen enough to write 10 books on gambling" "and losers." "Don't worry," "you won't be in any." "I'm of no use for even that." "Why can't you believe someone loves you, I love you." "If I'd at least saved your life, like some, you could be grateful." "At times you're absolutely pathetic." "Come, Sela," "prove it." "Prove you love me." "Gamble once thinking of me." "I'm at the bar." "Sela, I want a gin and tonic, but not watered down." "Hurry or we won't know what happened." "This evening he fell asleep in the cinema and an usher woke him at the end of the film." "It's the first time in a cinema and he feels" "old." "He doesn't know whether to take a cab or walk home." "If he takes a cab, it's like admitting he's really old, but he doesn't dare walk so far either." "Before all the cinema lights go out he has to decide" "whether he is already old or not." "You idiot!" "Before the light go out..." "he decides." "Idiot!" "He must decide..." "You idiot!" "Before the light go out..." "Idiot!" "We're great like this, aren't we?" "Telling me your things, and me listening." "While at the lighthouse..." "This is something I've told no one." "One morning, a small boat arrived with a man on board." "He gave me fish." "It was nice talking to someone after so many weeks." "After lunch I showed him how the lighthouse worked." "Then he said he had to go." "I accompanied him to the shore and then he pulled a knife and tried to kill me." "Kill you?" "Yes." "I dodged him, picked up a rock and killed him." "Then I threw his body into the sea." "I'm sure he didn't want to rob me, but simply saw I was all alone and he'd never have the chance to kill someone with total impunity." "How do you know?" "." "I knew it while I bashed his head in." "What's the most terrible thing you've ever done?" "The most terrible?" "Something you don't dare tell anyone." "I haven't done anything like that." "Do you think you can still love me?" "Yes." "I'm sleepy." "I'll never stop loving you, you hear me?" "Never." "No, I can't sleep either." "In the hotel." "Why do you want to know?" "It's a big and old room." "It has a window over a narrow street." "No, it's not cold." "The radiator's on." "I'm alone." "There's no one." "Why...?" "No, don't wake him." "He'll cry." "The office has no fuckin' idea." "Don't call there again." "I don't know." "Give me a little time." "I need a little time." "Robert!" "I called a thousand times." "Be here in 5 minutes." "You and your fuckin'vanity." "You make him come to tell you how good you are, how wonderful this building will be." "What do you know about architecture?" "What you taught me all these years, enough to know this is the best you've ever done," "and that you need more people around you telling you how good you are." "You're the best." "That's what I really think." "Sela!" "If you're thinking of leaving me, forget it." "You hear me?" "You hear me, Sela?" "Get it out of your head!" "...but there was no problem." "I want you keep it." "I don't want it." "It's too showy." "Sell it, I don't care." "Sell your car?" "You can place an ad, but make sure you get its worth." "I know what it's worth." "Don't come tomorrow." "You're not worse." "I won't come down." "It's useless." "I can call first." "I don't want you to!" "When can I come back?" "I'll call you." "But don't if I don't call." "I see you've made up your mind." "I can still use my head." "It's the only thing still working decently." "Do you know why were always alone here?" "Because everyone here is afraid of me." "Today's the first time anyone shows." "that's bad." "They've realized I'm worse than I should be." "I'll go get some coffee." "When I turn around, I don't want to see you." "Death is grand." "With a smile on his face, we're his." "And when we think we're at the middle of our lives, death dares to weep amidst us." "I like what you do with your lips when you read." "You do it on purpose." "What?" "Make me read these things at night." "Will you ever teach me German?" "Don't change subjects." "What subject?" "You want me to realize I'm wasting time." "You think I don't also?" "You write." "That's not writing, but that doesn't matter anymore." "What does matter to you?" "When we're together I think it's you, but when I'm alone I'm not so sure." "When I was a child, I thought that when you left a room, it stopped existing, it disappeared," "and that's why people had a memory, to remember how they left things." "I never remember how I leave things." "Living alone, no one reminds you who they are." "We could live together, and I would." "I'm serious." "Why'd you put it on?" "To remember to call my mother." "You never said anything." "I'm going to the bathroom." "Where she live?" "Yes?" "Who is it?" "." "Helga?" "I'm sorry." "It's late." "Sela?" "Sela, is that you?" "Yes." "Are you okay?" "I'm... well... could you come over?" "." "What is it?" "Don't you feel well?" "I can't tell you over the phone." "You'd better come." "What is it?" "." "Nothing serious, it doesn't even hurt." "What happened?" "I can't be alone tonight." "Can you come." "Are you at home?" "Yes." "I can call someone to stay with the kids and..." "No, don't bother anyone." "I'll make a call and be over right away." "I appreciate it." "Sela." "Sela..." "Hello, I read your ad and you car interests me." "I am Edmond Lenz." "My phone number:" "970-531-806." "Call me any time." "See you soon." "Hello, I read your ad and you car interests me." "I am Edmond Lenz." "My phone number:" "970-531-806." "Call me any time." "See you soon." "Lars?" "Lars?" "I have an idea for a new novel, a detective novel." "It would be the first time I write one." "It's the story of a successful woman with lots of friends who, on day, meets a murderer." "Of course, she doesn't know he is." "They start going out and fall in love." "Then he tells her the truth about himself and she decides to leave him, but he won't accept it and starts following her day and night." "One day, the murderer dies suddenly." "The woman sees the possibility of recovering her life but, although she tries, and goes out with other men, she can't because the problem wasn't really the murderer, but her herself, her incapability of living alone or with anyone." "He wasjust an excuse to not face up the fact of having to live with herself." "But that's not all." "The murderer, before dying, asked another murderer to kill the woman because he couldn't do it." "And although the other one died, this one decides to carry it out" "and finally kills her, kills the woman." "I don't know if I can write it, and, besides, my editor will say that the plot is too complicated." "Maybe finally..." "Since you didn't answer, I had someone open your room." "Did you find me?" "Lars." "I told you not to wake him." "He slept all the way over." "He's still asleep." "I have to go." "Lars!" "If you want to piss, left door down the hall." "I'll show you." "...they fire them all..." "I had to leave my country due to an earthquake." "After the earthquake there were people looking for others amongst the debris, and others looking for things." "They weren't the same people." "And yet others who remained paralyzed, without looking for anyone." "I lost everything." "For weeks they'd ask me my name but I couldn't answer." "I had lost all my loved ones." "I had no one left" "It was..." "Let's play." "Sir?" "All accesses to the south of the city are closed." "The authorities figure throughout the city there are still 50.000 people that need to be evacuated." "The north access is collapsed..." "I have no change." "That's okay." "Is that clock on time?" "Yes." "Are you looking for a job?" "No." "I thought you were." "Every day" "someone comes asking." "No, I'm not." "I'm travelling." "I don't live here." "Good-bye." "What's wrong?" "You look so much like Lars, the guy I took you for." "Yeah..." "Lars." "What did he study?" "I don't know." "I'd see him in a bar near the university, we belonged to several faculties." "I see." "I have to go." "Good-bye." "See you." "Excuse me." "Do you have a phone book?" "Sure." "It's old." "That's okay." "Yes?" "Hi, is Edmond in?" "Edmond'" "Edmond Lenz." "Who is calling?" "Who is this?" "Why did you go alone?" "I thought I could." "And you could." "When I got home" "I thought I heard Stefan's voice all over." "Had you told him?" "No." "Did you talk about having kids?" "Sometimes but, deep down, neither of us wanted them." "I'm sure Stefan knows." "Stefan's dead, Sela." "But I know he knows." "I couldn't have it," "I wouldn't have known what to do or say to it." "Say to it?" "Mothers talk to their children from the beginning." "Yes." "My greatest fear is that my children can remember me drinking." "The first thing I remember, the first memory I have" "are the shadows on the ceiling of my bedroom, my fear when they would move." "That's the first memory you tell me." "The first time?" "Since we made the deal." "That was a long time ago." "Can I ask you something?" "Let me think it over." "The mirrors..." "Don't break them!" "No?" "Go to the hospital!" "Leave me alone!" "Sela!" "Sela!" "Where are you?" "Sela!" "Sela!" "What do you need these shit tapes for?" "." "What for?" "." "Hunters." "It's hunting season." "This close?" "Not that close." "Let's go." "You go back." "What do you want to prove?" "Nothing." "I know I'm weaker than you." "You know me already?" "Out of intuition." "Out of intuition?" "Hey, don't shoot!" "There are people here!" "Let's go." "I took them for you." "You stole them from the library?" "Yes." "It was easy." "No one noticed." "Did you read what I gave you?" "Yes." "And, well?" "It's not bad." "That's all?" "I'm not a good critic, you know." "You're not helping me much." "I can introduce you to my editor." "I didn't mean that." "Lars, what you write has to do with you," "I don't know what's inside you." "No one does." "Probably not even you know." "Is my writing immature?" "You'll know when you've written more." "I won't continue." "Then don't." "You think I shouldn't?" "Writing is a matter of oneself, and no one else." "If you want to write no one will miss you if you don't." "Not even you." "Not even me." ""The King of the Sea"?" "You think I'll read Salgari?" "Why not?" "You never have." "I guess you have." "I read all his books as a child." "I understand." "What do you understand?" "Your way of writing." "Why things happen so far away." "You're leaving?" "Yes." ""The king of the sea sailed south through the gulf of Sarawak." "Almost total calm reigned over the sea." "Now and then there was a breeze that, in those latitudes, is like fire and is feared by sailboats that usually go adrift" "for entire weeks. "" "Come on, we'll lose them." "You go ahead, I'll catch up." "They grabbed a cab." "If we had a car we could follow them." "Why don't you buy a car?" "I don't want to." "Then I'll buy one." "A friend of mine killed himself in a stupid car accident." "Well, very good." "You never tell me anything." "Shall we follow that woman?" "Not now." "See you tomorrow?" "I can't, I have to write." "How's your novel going?" "It's not." "I don't write now." "I don't want to talk about it." "Have they gone?" "I faked to be asleep because I wanted to be alone with you." "I have..." "I have... so many things to tell you." "So many things to tell you." "or just one, but grand like the sea." "Like the deep... and infinite sea." "Be my love and all my life." "Sela, turn the light on." "Sela!" "Sela, turn the light on." "Why does she always wear that scarf?" "She has for years." "I don't know why." "She never speaks?" "No." "Nor can hear us." "She just sighs once in a while." "She has pretty hands." "Where are you going?" "To ask for a cigarette." "I forgot mine." "Can't you wait a while?" "No." "No one smokes here." "Someone must." "Stefan, wait." "I'll be back." "Aren't you cold?" "It gets chilly this time of day." "What a lot of flowers." "My favourites have always been white roses." "Your son wants to ask me to marry him." "That's not a good idea." "It's true, writers shouldn't get married or live with anyone." "But I still don't know if I'm a writer." "I don't know what I am." "Some don't know it but I write a lot, but it takes me many hours." "I wonder what you must be feeling right now." "Whether you know what you're doing here, who you are." "Forgive me, I talk too much." "Stefan!" "Stefan!" "Where are you?" "This is on purpose." "He does anything by chance." "He likes to test people." "Stefan!" "I'll go get him." "I'll be right back." "Tell me you don't love me." "No one." "Me!" "Tell me you don't love me." "I don't love you, Lars, I don't love you." "I'm not me, I'm not me, I'm not me." "I called Edmonds's sister this morning." "She was very kind." "She is convinced it was an accident too." "She said they took 3 hours to get Edmond out of the car and that it was totally shattered." "I wish I hadn't sold him that damn car." "I'm drinking again." "That's why I need..." "Sela." "It's me." "Lars?" "I guess it was you who came over these evenings when I left after packing and taking Sela's things." "As you can see, only the study is left." "Tomorrow I'll get it and throw it out, as Sela once asked me to do with all her things, even the study." "She said it half-jokingly, which is how she used to tell me the important things." "I wonder if she ever really trusted anyone." "The tapes in the envelope are the last ones she appears in." "You can watch them if you want to." "I couldn't." "Helga." "I'm married and have a child." "I sell houses for rich tourists." "That doesn't make much sense," "I mean that just a few can pay them and live there." "That's what I used to think, because now I don't care." "All I care about is selling them without thinking of who can buy them or not." "Hello." "Hello." "Do you live nearby?" "Is anything wrong?" "No." "Where are you going?" "To the hotel." "Where is your hotel?" "It's the Intercontinental." "Is it rather far." "I'm not sure I want to go there now." "They're probably cleaning." "You seem you didn't sleep last night." "Neither did you." "If you want..." "No need to tell me what you think." "I won't." "I know nothing about painting." "I work nights to paint during the day." "Is that you?" "Yes, they're all self-portraits." "Can I see them?" "Yes." "How old were you here?" "Fifteen." "You paint since then?" "No, I painted before." "I've always painted." "Do you sell a lot?" "Not much." "And this one?" "That was on order." "He was a lawyer." "He died and I kept his portrait." "Shall I put music on?" "What for?" "I don't know, maybe you'd like it." "Sugar?" "No, thank you." "Do you live alone?" "No one can stand this smell of paint for very long." "And you?" "No, it doesn't let me sleep." "Are you cold?" "A bit, but it doesn't matter." "I'm sorry, I haven't much gas..." "What happened to your wrist?" "I did something silly once." "When?" "A long time ago." "I'm okay now." "I'm going." "Yes, sure." "I have to catch a train." "See you soon."