"Hello, is that Parkers?" "Look, I'm going fishing this weekend and I need some bait" "No, just on the Thames, the maggots will do" "I'll send somebody round to collect them" "Oh by the way, those trout flies I bought from you have been very successful" "Especially the cochy-bondu" "Seems to attract the trout like a magnet" "Yes, thank you again" "Bye" "Excuse me" "You startled me" "Would you mind knocking before you barge in?" "Sorry" "Is that better?" " I've lost it" " Lost what?" "Is that better?" " I've lost it" " Lost what?" "I've lost my favorite fly" "I had it in my hand a moment ago!" "I must have dropped it" "Can you see it anywhere?" "What does it look like?" "It's about two inches long; red and black with a curly tail" "Perhaps it's flown out of the window" "It's a fishing fly!" "A cochy bondu" " A cochy what?" " Bondu" " It must be here somewhere" " If it's here, we'll find it" "Perhaps I should come back later" "Ah Mr. Brown, you can join in" "Well I'm not really that religious" "We're looking for a fly" "A fly?" "Yes!" "It's 2 inches long!" "Red and black with a curly tail" "Sounds quite lethal" " Would you mind helping us look for it" " No, not at all" " I found it" " Where?" "It's here!" "Just under the desk" " I'll get it" " No, stand back Sid!" "Leave this to me" "What are you doing Mr. Brown?" "Stay where you are Miss Courtney!" "It could be dangerous" "Yeah that's right!" "It's not moving!" " Mr. Brown..." " Just a moment" "Better to be safe than sorry" "I've just remembered!" "I've been expecting the boiler" "Have you quite finished Mr. Brown?" "Or would you like to borrow a hammer?" "One can't be too careful where strange insects are concerned" "Have you any idea where it came from?" " Yes!" "W. Parker and Son" " Pardon?" " Fishing tackle suppliers" " Fishing" " It wasn't..." " It was" "Oh dear!" "Got any glue?" "I don't think trout are particularly fond of glue" "No I suppose they're not!" " I'll buy you another" " See that you do" "Excuse me" "Hello..." "Speaking" "Pardon?" "Is it you?" "Is it really you?" "It is you..." "It's him" "Coming here?" "You're not coming here" "You are coming here..." "He's coming here" "Yes, yes, yes..." "Half an hour" "You'll be here in half an hour" "He'll be here in half an hour" "Very well... until then" " Is everything all right?" " It was him" "Yes and he's coming here in half an hour" "But who is him..." "I mean who is he?" "A man I never thought I'd see again" "My ex-fiance" "You mean you were actually engaged at one time?" "There's no need to sound so surprised" "It was over twenty-five years ago..." "I was just..." "I was very young" "I met him at Oxford in the high!" "It was raining and he offered me shelter under his umbrella" "Then he insisted on buying me a cup of tea and a sticky bun" " How romantic" " Yes, that was how it all started" " Why didn't you get married?" " It was awful!" "He left me" " At the church?" " No, in the lurch" "Mr. Brown, I have never told anyone this before" " Well if you'd rather..." " No, sit down" "For years, I've kept this terrible secret to myself" "Now he's coming back into my life I must tell someone" "And I think I can trust you Mr. Brown" "I'd rather not if it's going to cause any embarrassment" " It won't embarrass me" " It might embarrass me" "I'm sure it won't" "Anyway, he asked me to go down to Brighton with him" "For one of those - you know - weekends" " Double room, Mr. And Mrs. Smith?" " Exactly" " And you refused?" " Oh no, I went" "I even remember the hotel" " The Bellavista, opposite the abatoir" " Very Bellavista" "Well, we booked in and Albert, like the thoughtful man he was" "He let me go upstairs first to prepare myself as it were" "While he had a drink in the bar" " Getting up a bit of dutch courage" " I beg your pardon?" "Not that he needed it with such a lovely person waiting to be" " What happened then?" " He didn't turn up" "He got drunk, passed out and spent the night on a settee in the resident's lounge" "How despicable!" "I went home and refused ever to see him again" "I heard later that he was working in the Far East" "But I must admit" "I have always cherished a secret hope that he might one day come back" " Excuse me please" " Yes Ali, what is it?" "Come quickly please we are having plenty trouble in classroom" " What do you mean, trouble?" " Max and Giovanni" "They are murdering each other" " I'm ready when you are - I am ready when you are" "You come on" "You're gonna be sorry" "We see whose gonna be sorry" "Okay, I'm waiting for you to come on" "Stop this brawling" "It's lucky for you!" "Professori stop me from giving you a black eye" "I will not have fighting in class" "Fighting!" "It was more like dancing I will not have fighting in class" "Fighting!" "It was more like dancing" " I was just warming up" " Me too" " What was this all about?" " I tell you professori" "He was calling me a wop" "And he's calling me a grease boy" "Go on, sit down everybody" "I wish you could pick up proper English as quickly as you pick up slang" "I have enough trouble with Ali and Ranjeet without you two start falling out" "Now shake hands, come on" "Right!" "Now, tonight I want to concentrate on English conversation" "The sort of things you have to say during the course of the day" "For example Ranjeet" " Where would you take a cheque?" " To Czechoslovakia For example Ranjeet" " Where would you take a cheque?" " To Czechoslovakia" " Not that sort of Czech" " A thousand apologies" "A cheque for a certain amount of money" " Where would you take it?" " To a bank" " Thank you!" "Juan" " Si senor" " If you felt ill, what would you do?" " Go to bed" " Before that" " Take the clothes off" " You would go to the doctor's" " No, no, no" "Doctor kill my uncle in Madrid" " Really?" " Si" "My uncle, he has pain in the chest!" "He goes to see doctor" "Doctor he looks at him and say..." "It's alright" "Ten minutes later, in the street, my uncle... finito" " He got a heart attack?" " Motor car" "You could hardly blame the doctor for that" "Si, si, the doctor, he was driving the motor" " Taro" " Ah so" "Although we have news metrics in this country" "We still use an old system which is known as what?" " Sorry not know" " Does anybody know?" "Avoirdupois" " Excellent" " Merci" " Does avoirdupois ring a bell now Taro?" " Yes" "Avoirdupois is French for have you some peaso" "Taro, I can't believe you're that stupid" "Sorry, justjoko" "Well in future, kindly leave yourjoko's at homo" " Zoltan, I'm gonna ask you a question" " Yes please" " Which shop... - yes, shop, shop" "Which shop would you go to to buy a packet of cigarettes?" "Cigarettes" "No shop" "Come on Zoltan!" "You must go to some sort of shop" "Zoltan no smoke" "Excuse!" "Zoltan, where you go for chewing gum?" " Ah, sveet shop" " Sweet, sweet" " Anna tells me sveet" " No, sweet, sweet" "Sveet, sweet!" "What's the difference?" "The difference Anna is that you must learn to say wer, not Ver!" "Wer" "Verwer" "You nearly got it then!" "Try again" "Verwer" "Try saying Verwer without the Ver" "Erwer" "Almost!" "Try again but this time don't say Erwer, just wer" " Wer" " Wer" " Wonderful" " Wonderful" " Wednesday" " Wednesday" " A wet weekend in Winter" " A wet weekend in Winter" " Very good" " Werry good" " Ali" " Yes please" " You have a headache" " No sir" "Assume you have a headache!" "Where would you go to get some aspirin?" "Tanduri takeaway" " No Ali" " Yes please" "My jelly good friend who's working there always have plenty aspirin" "I meant to buy some aspirin" "Why should I be buying them when I can be getting them from my friend for nothing done" "Alright, where do you go for aspirin when the tanduri takeaway is closed?" "Oh Blimey, Taj Mahal curry house" "Jamila, would you please tell Ali where would you go to get aspirin" " Ok, the chemist" " Thank you" " Where are you going now?" " To buy some aspirin for headache" " But you said you don't have a headache" " Oh blimey, I got one now" "Oh go and sit down" "Excuse me Mr. Brown, the old dragon wants you" "Please Sid, do be a little more respectful" "Especially in front of the students Please Sid, do be a little more respectful" "Especially in front of the students" "It's up to us to set a good example" "Sorry" "What does the old dragon..." "Miss Courtney want?" "I've no idea, but I don't think she's very well" "She actually smiled at me" "Enter" " Are you feeling alright?" " Yes, why?" " You sounded as if you were in pain" " I was singing" "I am sorry to bring you away from your class Mr. Brown" "But before you leave this evening, would you mind checking... that Sid's locked up properly" "Absolutely, so should be" "I was referring to the building" "You see, it's quite likely that I may be leaving early" "To think he's come back into my life after twenty five years" "I think I might need another cherry to settle my stomach" " What's the matter?" " He's here!" "Look" " Where?" " Down there" "You stupid fool!" "You have crowned my Albert"