""when life gives you lemons, make lemonade."" "I wish she was still alive, because I'd really like to ask what she suggests for when life gives you chlamydia." "Please, get a room... in Australia." "Hey, we're practicing for the prom." "What debutante bit you and turned you into a prom zombie?" "We just gave in..." "The Whole Nine Yards... the ridiculous dress, the tux, lobster dinner, limo." "I mean, it happens once." "Why not go all out?" "'Cause no one sold you as an indentured servant to Butters." "Mac, I didn't think he'd actually... he's picking me up in a hummer limousine, we're having dinner on a replica pirate ship, and I suspect he's hired a zeppelin for the ride home." "I'm gonna fill my pockets with rocks, get a good grip on your ankle, and I'm gonna jump off the top of..." "Attention, students." "Due to a significant number of alcohol violations on the senior trip, this year's prom has been canceled." "That is all." "Yes!" "Prayer works!" "Hello?" "Woody, to what do I owe..." "What... right now?" "What room number?" "I swear it's not what it looks like." "Okay, it is what it looks like." "And that is?" "Do... do I have to spell it out?" "She's with the incorporation campaign." "We had a few cocktails." "She must have mixed with pills or something, because she just..." "This is not a proud moment for me." "I need help to take care of this." "I'm on retainer to help Terrence Cook, not take care of things." ""Mayor brings mistress to E.R." "Booze, pills, underwear." "Film at 11:00."" "Please, Keith." "I'll get her to the hospital, and I'll be discreet." "Okay." "But don't get the wrong idea." "This is not the sort of thing I do." "Okay." "Thank you." "I owe you big-time, Keith." "Hey." "Have you ever been stalked?" "As a matter of fact... because someone's stalking me." "I was hoping you might have some tips or something." "Dancing around in your underwear with the curtains open is always good, and if you're in chat rooms and they suggest meeting face-to-face, do it in an abandoned railroad car down by the riverside." "No, no, no." "I mean for catching the guy." "I keep seeing this car following me around." "Can you describe it?" "It's totally nondescript." "I mean, that's what's so unique about it." "Um, okay." "Any reason anyone would want to follow you around?" "Well, last week at karaoke," "I did "can't get you out of my head", and I dedicated it to this table of cute guys, but then I realized they weren't cute." "They were dweeby pan high guys, and not the nice nerd kind, but the weird, creepy... potential stalker kind?" "Is there any way that you could do some P.I. thing?" "For you?" "The daughter of the most powerful man in town?" "That's a marker I want." "Come to my house after school." "Something I can help you with?" "You should really keep your office locked." "I want my hard drive back." "Come on." "My friend saw you take it from my apartment." "Your friend Liam, the drug dealer who tried to shoot me." "There was an intruder in my house." "He feared for his life." "Out of curiosity, did your husband know that you kept your own place?" "Did he know about your jail time or that you're not even really you?" "If the hard drive reappears by friday, I won't press charges." "I filled out the form." "Me sending it to me..." "no paper trail." "Mrs. C, I trust you're well." "Oh, well, if it isn't little miss teen getaway." "Your dad and I were just dealing with a little trouble." "Like, trouble with a capital "T", that rhymes with "C", that stands for..." "Veronica!" "I was gonna say "cute."" "Ms. Casablancas was just leaving." "So, what did the doctor say?" "Well, you got your money's worth." "What does that mean?" "It means... the stethoscope was freezing." "But I'm fine." "Tip-top." "Can I borrow the remote cameras tonight?" "What for?" "For a school project?" "I don't believe you." "Okay, this girl I know suspects that one of several creepy weirdos she sang a kylie minogue song to at karaoke night might be following her around." "We're trying to narrow down which one it is." "I like your first answer better." "You can earn it." "send a copy to everyone on our business contact sheet, see if anyone can find him." "Hey who is this charming fellow?" "The charming fellow who hired the escort to steal Cliff's briefcase." "And his heart." "Poor cliff." "Yeah." "She must have been something, 'cause he won't shut up about it." "Cameras are on the roof, so if this guy followed you here, we should be able to spot him." "Wow!" "How "Mission Impossible"." "I feel like, at any moment," "Tom Cruise is gonna dangle from the ceiling on cables." "Great." "Now I won't be able to sleep." "I hope he doesn't try to marry me." "There." "That's the car." "Isn't it totally nondescript?" "That's a 2002 silver galant." "We should order him pizza." "He would totally freak." "Why stop at pizza, Gia?" "Bet you a hot-oil rubdown would really show him." "And you can just look him up right there on your computer?" "That's awesome." "Actually, I'm updating my netflix queue." "No, wait." "I think we got him." "Leonardo d'Amato?" "God, what kind of a loser is that?" "Greek italian." "I used to go out with him." "A long time ago," "We used to be friends but I" "Haven't thought of you lately at all." "Come on, now, sugar!" "Bring it on, bring it on, yeah!" "Just remember me when" "We used to be friends" "A long time ago" "We used to be friends" "Veronica Mars 2x20 "Look Who's Stalking"" "Hey, how's it going?" "Oh, this is gonna be good." "What?" "You have that "I'd-rather-be-making- out-with-a-broken-bottle" look, which, if history serves, means you're about to say something awkward." "This?" "This is my "I'd-rather-be-spelunking" look." "It's like you don't know me at all." "All right." "So, let's have it." "So... you remember Duncan." "Right, blue eyes." "Right." "Yes." "You wouldn't happen to know if he was with... and by "with," I mean "with"... uh, someone other than Meg?" "Well, there was this one girl." "She was, uh, blonde, petite." "Smelled of marshmallows and Promises." "Promises?" "That's the name of my perfume." "You know, generally speaking," "I've kind of grown immune to your left-field questions, but I'm gonna bite on this one." "What do you care who Duncan did when Duncan did do dudettes?" "Would you believe it's for a college application?" "Weird, huh?" "You and Meg..." "that's all I know about." "Duncan didn't talk about his sex life much, though." "But he'd blush and shower a lot." "That's how you'd know he was getting some." "Well, I'm gonna miss these moments." "You going somewhere?" "Oh, you see this?" "Uh, this is high school." "We're here for four years, and then we move on, and all these people you see every day vanish from your life, and you never have to think about them again." "So we should savor our remaining moments." "You should come to alterna-prom." "I don't know what that is." "Wow." "You and your drunk 09er buddies get the prom canceled and then use your inherited wealth to throw a private prom." "When you say it like that, it sounds unjust." "How does it sound when you say it?" "G lamorous." "So, are you coming?" "What?" "You'd rather be spelunking?" "No, I'd rather be strapped down on an anthill." "Man, you've really lost it." "I was going to console Jackie and Wallace that night." "You got their prom canceled, remember?" "Well, bring them along." "And bring whoever." "We, with our inherited wealth, don't mind... as long as you bathe and keep your hands off the silver." "I'll consider it." "Where does any disgraced former lawman go?" "Private security, baby." "Ooh, it sounds exotic." "Nah, it's boring..." "big firm, tons of B.S." "Same old Leo." "I got to admit I was surprised to hear from you, Veronica." "I figured after the eased-out- of-the-department episode," "I kind of fell off your radar." "Are you kidding?" "My radar is vast." "So, how's your love life?" "Terrible." "How's yours?" "Also terrible." "So, is that, maybe, why you've been stalking miss Goodman here?" "Hi." "It's Gia." "Same old Veronica." "It's not stalking." "It's personal security." "Miss Goodman is a job." "I'm a job?" "Your dad hired the firm." "A couple of us were assigned to keep an eye on you." "Want to go say "hi" to Earl?" "I'm sure he's parked outside." "Why does he want Gia watched?" "I just punch the clock." "My bosses don't share that kind of stuff with me." "I assume there's been some sort of threat, but I don't know." "Is that why you wanted to see me?" "That was pretty much it, yeah." "Well, I'm a little disappointed." "It was good seeing you again, Veronica." "Miss Goodman." "You went out with him?" "He's cute... in a tough, mumbly kind of way." "Why would my dad hire security?" "I wonder if it has anything to do with that thing with your dad." "What thing?" "I don't know why they're making such a big deal of it." "I mean, a girl drinks too much..." "that's not your dad's fault." "He's just doing what he was hired to." "Just make sure those vans are at the Senior Center at 9:00 sharp." "Yeah." "Thanks." "I got to run." "Bye." "Woody?" "You blame me for this?" "Keith, please, let me explain." ""When reached for comment," "Goodman's office said "Mars had been engaged to investigate leaks," ""but mr." "Goodman had interceded when he learned the investigator had plied the staffer with alcohol."" "Look you're right." "You're right." "I help you, and this is what I get?" "How could I know the manager had a camera?" "I'm sorry I had to do this, but there's just so much riding on this incorporation vote." "I think you may be confused about something, Woody." "I'm voting against incorporation." "So, I dropped by my dad's office and asked him about the security thing." "He said it was nothing, just normal election precautions, and he agreed to pull the security detail once I told him that it was creeping me out." "Okay." "So, that's good, right?" "But then I got home, and I found this." "That's my brother." "I know." "I met him, remember?" "What do you think it is?" "Something very creepy." "Is a lunch lady who does body building human interest?" "Human, maybe." "Interest, no." "I can't believe I'm expected to meet newspaper deadline when I have some creepy dude stalking me." "Do you know who that is..." "the woman with the camera?" "That's mrs." "Harmon." "You don't think she has..." "No, look where she's shooting." "Whoever made this, she probably got him on that video." "Do you think you can get that tape?" "Look, off the record, Lloyd." "It's not that I never worked for Woody, but I never investigated any leaks and I never used a bottle of scotch to question a campaign staffer." "Then you might want to put that out there on the record." "Woody's pushing this whole thing on you, Keith." "We had him on a conference call..." "all off the record, of course... and he more or less implied he caught you taking advantage of this girl," "Jennifer Stansfield." "You don't believe me, talk to the staffer, Stansfield." "You know, funny thing about her." "After you dropped her off at the hospital, she took off before being treated and now no one can track her down." "Batting cages." "There's one up north." "We could get some flowers, play a little music, take out some chinese." "The prom is canceled and you want to take me to a batting cage instead?" "Yeah." "It's for that so-casual- it's-super-romantic thing." "That's not a thing." "That's male wishful thinking." "But I want to wear my dress." "Think fancy." "Can we do it anyway?" "Maybe this afternoon." "No, I'm going to see my dad in the hospital." "How's that going?" "Strange, but great." "It's never been worse for him, but between us... best it's ever been." "For the first time ever, it's like one of my parents actually has time for me." "Okay, I have news." "The senior memories, once thought lost forever, can, in fact, be generated, after all, albeit in a slightly degraded form." "The rich kids are throwing a private replacement prom." "Damn, they just privatizing everything these days." "Alterna-prom?" "Hmm...formal attire." "That's what I'm talking about." "Please don't give us the tux speech again." "What?" "You mean... how when I put on a tux," "I make James Bond look like Cletus, the slack-jaw yokel." "Shh!" "Oh, please tell me Butters knows nothing about this." "Hey, what's up?" "Eehh... did you say, uh, alterna-something?" "Not exactly who I was expecting to see." "They're finally allowing non-family visitors." "Thought I'd drop by, find out what the hell you were doing breaking into the Dumas family home." "She said she was writing a story... a tell-all... about the gambling, the debt, about... how I threw a playoff game." "And when the bus thing hit, I was worried her parents would find it." "So when you're accused of taking out a busload of kids to off your lover, you decide your best move is to break into her parents' house?" "Well, their unlocked garage, actually, but, yeah." "This whole bus thing..." "I'm not their man." "But if that story about throwing the playoff game ever got out," "I'm ruined." "Hey, there's my girl." "Good afternoon, mr." "Mars." "It's that time of day again... clubhouse gossip." "My favorite time of day." "Okay, I'll be in touch." "You keep him out of trouble." "I'll try." "So, what have we got?" "Well, it seems that Mets manager Willie Randolph is not happy." "So I told mrs." "Harmon that my friend's boyfriend might have been at the game with another girl." "Clever." "Not bad." "You just might have a future in this racket." "Look." "That's a Neptune letterman jacket." "He's gone." "But the letterman jacket's got to be something, right?" "There." "Look." "You see?" "The red truck." "It's gone, and so is he." "It must be his." "Snap." "So now we just need to find a varsity letterman who drives a red pickup, and we've got our stalker." "I wanted to see what it was like getting your news off the ground." "And the stories... so tawdry." "There was one yesterday about you getting a girl drunk." "I can't believe it." "What?" "You don't think a girl would have a few drinks with me?" "I just read otherwise." "Enjoy your headlines." "Got to go vote." "So, special ballot measure number 51... should Neptune consolidate its wealth and exclusivity at the expense of the poor and the unglamorous?" "Answer... no." "Who are you taking to the alterna-prom?" "Well, I considered a lot of chicks, but finally, I figured I'd just go stag." "I mean, it's not the prom." "It's the alterna-prom." "Why narrow my options?" "You shot down, huh?" "It's like a conspiracy." "Yeah, it's a good thing we're graduating." "Sounds like you've hit that point where every girl in school knows you." "Bring on the sorority girls." "Dude!" "You need me to bring anything to the big bash?" "'Cause if it's one thing I know how to do right, it's pot luck." "Uh...which big bash is that?" "Alterna-prom." "I make these killer brownies." "The secret..." "it's all in the Butter." "The student parking-permit list doesn't show any red pickups, but that doesn't mean much here, as it's not uncommon for certain students to trade up to new rides whenever they get bored." "So either our mystery student doesn't drive to school, or I'm barking up the wrong tree." "So, the only red pickup on the list belongs to a girl..." "I don't care about that." "Oh, I thought we were..." "What I do care about what your stupid dad thinks he's doing." "Gia..." "So, now he's saying that it was my dad in that motel and he was sleeping with a hooker he paid in campaign money?" "My dad didn't get that woman drunk." "That's all he said." "I just don't get you people." "I just don't." "And there will be no incorporated town of Neptune, as the special ballot measure goes down by a three-point margin." "Many point to the supervisor's ongoing scandals as a deciding factor." "No official comment yet from the supervisor's office, but... so Neptune has to keep us." "What's a yacht without barnacles?" "So, I'm stuck on something and hoped you could help me." "Absolutely." "Unless it's physics or chemistry... or math or in english." "P.E...." "I was good at P.E." "So, some guy's been stalking Gia." "I got a tape of him shooting Gia's brother's soccer game." "Hey, what do you mean, "him shooting"?" "She found a DVD this guy sent to her house... creepy footage of her." "When did she get this?" "The other day." "Let me show you something." "He got this last month... hired me to look into it, figuring some antiincorporation guy crossed the line." "That's the same thing he told Gia when she asked about the security detail." "Until I figured out that this was shot before incorporation was announced." "All of a sudden, I'm off the case, and his gardener confessed out of the blue." "So what does that mean?" "Woody's scared of something and he's lying about it and it's serious." "I want you to leave that tape with me and stay away from this case." "This is more than just some obsessed school kid, and I don't want you sticking your nose in." "And I mean that, you understand?" "Miss Mars, what do you think you're doing?" "Just some clerical business." "This is study hall." "If you wanted clerical hall, you should have signed up for clerical hall." "Mr. Echolls, so glad you could join us... late." "And that is what happens when you never get laid." "Well, why don't you invite him to your bitchin' party?" "Hey, speaking of my bitchin' party, a funny thing happened." "That stoner dude, Corny..." "whom I don't recall inviting... offered to bring dessert." "Exactly how many losers are now coming to my party?" "You said invite whoever." "It didn't occur to you that I might not have meant it?" "What is that?" "Just some work stuff for my dad." "Why?" "Nothing." "It just looks like the guy my dad shared a cell with." "Now, that's a hell of a dress." "Gucci knock-off..." "still pretty slinky, though." "I thought you said your prom was canceled." "It was, but some kids are having kind of a replacement prom." "So Wallace and I are doing the whole thing..." "The dinner and the limo." "Oh, he got his tux, which, he's warning me, is some kind of insanely masculine mesmerizer of women." "You just better be careful, Jackie." "Relax, dad." "I learned the birds and the bees the hard way, remember?" "I mean it sounds like you're really falling for this Wallace guy." "He's a nice young man whom I like, yes." "Wait, are you trying to give me, like, fatherly advice?" "Trying." "How am I doing?" "Not bad for a novice." "I like Wallace, but I'm leaving for Paris." "We both know it, so there's no illusions... which is actually nice." "Deadline night." "I've been lying in wait to try to walk out with Gia to warn her about her dad, but either she's writing the greatest story about lunch-lady body building ever or she's determined to avoid me." "Hey, Gia, I was heading out and thought maybe..." "I'm really busy right now." "So, since strangling her would be counterproductive, that only leaves giving up." "Good night, Veronica." "Good night." "Hey, Veronica." "Hey, Lucky." "Dad, it's me." "I know you told me to stay away from this stalker thing, and I did." "But it just popped up right in front of me." "The red truck..." "it's the janitor's, and Gia's in the building with him." "Call me." "15 minutes, dad... that's all the longer I can be expected to wait." "Have taser, will travel." "That's..." "Kuwait." "And that's Iraq." "Wow." "Was that freaky?" "Was it freaky?" "You want to see freaky?" "It's a roadside bomb." "Boom!" "That was freaky." "Ugh!" "You know?" "The insurgency... always leaving us presents." "But, hell, you know, the whole world... is freaky." "Right?" "That is so wild." "Yeah." "I should do, like, a human-interest thing on you for the navigator." "You should." "Hey, let me show you something else." "What do you want?" "Hey." "Veronica Mars..." "just in time." "Do you want to see something freaky?" "Um..." "Hold on." "The guy with the red truck." "The varsity jacket." "Check it out." "I got this off an iraqi corpse." "This sucker will do some serious damage." "Serrated blade." "That's really cool, but, actually..." "We got to go." "Right." "I'm sorry." "Guess the human-interest story will have to wait." "That's too bad, 'cause I got some pretty crazy stuff I could tell you." "I know your dad, you know." "What the hell, man?" "The sheriff's on his way." "Don't move." "Get off me, man." "Why have you been stalking Gia?" "The videos and the break-ins... why?" "Screw you, man." "Just screw you." "He deserved it." "He deserved it!" "Everyone, freeze." "Keith, when you call the sheriff, you don't have to come yourself." "Would you get up off the man?" "You said you have evidence to back up what you said?" "And he basically confessed already." "We get him in a room for an hour..." "We?" "I appreciate the heads-up." "This is a law-enforcement matter now, mr." "Mars." "You can go." "Go on ahead to your party, honey." "Might be a little late tonight." "Madison." "Flying solo?" "Ditto." "Just me and the party pig." "Hold it." "What's that smell?" "Mac, you really do..." "Don't distract me..." "I'm plotting how to kill you and make it look like an accident." "Oh, hold it." "Sweet." "Penthouse, please." "All right." "God..." "longest elevator ride ever." "Wait for the space elevator." "They're designing it now... a huge elevator on a 100-mile carbon-polymer cable that goes all the way to space." "That'll be a long elevator ride." "Still not as long as this one." "Thank god." "[unidentified song] ...against the phone and" "Talk to me,  Talk to me, baby!" "Talk to me ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah" "Talk to me" "Hey!" "Welcome." "So, tonight there's only one thing I ask of you." "Make senior memories." "Uh, that's why I brought the party pig." "Better watch yourself, Danielle." "Here comes me and my hog." "Soo-wee!" "Yo man." "Okay, how'ya doin'?" "Fine" "I need a drink." "Mac just had dinner on a pirate ship." "Back at the school, you were saying Woody deserved it." "Why?" "Did he do something to you?" "Someone you know?" "What are you looking at, nutjob?" "Cut him some slack, Don." "I wasn't talking to him, Keith." "I don't think he likes you." "[unidentified song]" "I'm not stupid, you know." "I know it's weird to force someone to go to prom with you." "I know." "So why did you do it?" "Because I wanted to be true to myself." "I am weird." "I thought maybe you'd understand because... you're a little weird, too." "That's a compliment." "Oh." "Well, then you're really, really weird." "If this is how it's gonna be" "There's one thing that I gotta know tell me how you can leave me like that, don't you know it hurts so bad" "Senior year's almost over." "In a month, we might never see each other again." "Never." "Think about how long that is." "It's like forever, but worse." "I'm not gonna sleep with you." "We could fool around in the bathroom." "Old time's sake?" "Never..." "it's a long time, Madison." "Leave her alone, Dick." "You don't want to make her have to call the law, 'cause I hear the law really comes down hard." "Have you heard that?" "So, I guess you're here alone since Duncan, like, ran away or whatever." "You mean "took it on the lam"?" "'Cause I can't imagine what that's like." "Can you?" "Being on the lam." "I think you'd just want to close your eyes and pray for it all to end." "You'd have the cops crawling all over you." "Right?" "What do you think, Madison?" "There's Gia." "What does Madison care about Gia, Ronnie?" "What do you think the odds are of you and me hooking up by the end of the night?" "I happen to have them right here." "They are a googolplex to one." "Right on." "So I'll send over a bartender and check back in with you later." "Hey, Shelly..." "speaking of pork... want to meet my hog?" "Ow!" "You don't want to drink that." "Trust me." "Hey, thanks for rescuing me back at school." "That was cool." "And I'm sorry about what I said about your dad." "He's been called worse." "[Mike doughty - "I hear the bells"] song available online!" "see appendixes" "I thought I told you to get a room." "Already done got a room." "So, Mars," "I'm leaving it to you to represent the lower middle class at the Neptune alterna-prom." "You can't just leave me here." "We'd stay, but I just can't control myself." "It's the tux." "I'm telling you." "I can" "I can" "Hear the bells are ringing joyful and triumphant" "Alone again?" "Naturally." "I, uh..." "I know the feeling." "You?" "Host of the greatest private replacement prom ever?" "I'm sure you could have your pick of the bimbos." "I hear the bells  they are like emeralds and" "Glints in the night commas and ampersands" "Your moony face, so inaccessible" "Your inner mind..." "I really like this song." "I can" "I can -hear the bells..." "You know, I'm surprised, Veronica." "And as a keen observer of the human condition," "I thought you saw through people better than that." "I mean, bimbos?" "That's not me anymore." "So, what are you like now?" "You know... tortured." "Ever since I had my heart broken." "Hannah really did do a number on you, huh?" "Come on, you know I'm not talking about Hannah." "I'm seeking girls In sales and marketing" "Let's go make out..." "I thought our story was epic, you know?" "You and me." "Epic how?" "Spanning years and continents, lives ruined, bloodshed... epic." "...are ringing  Joyful and triumphant" "and I can" "I can..." "Hear the bells" "But summer's almost here, and we won't see each other at all." "And then you'll leave town, and then then it's over." "Logan..." "I'm sorry about last summer." "You know, if I could do it over..." "Come on." "Ruined lives, bloodshed?" "You really think a relationship should be that hard?" "No one writes songs about the ones that come easy." "I hear the bells So fascinating and" "I'll slug it out I'm sick of waiting" "and I can" "I can hear the bells are ringing joyful and triumphant" "and I can" "I can hear the bells are ringing joyful and triumphant" "and I can" "I can hear the bells are ringing joyful and triumphant" "I have to go." "I have to go." "hear the bells are ringing joyful and triumphant" "and I can" "I can" "[DJ Harry - "All My Life"] Oh." "Come right down to it" "song playable online!" "How do I accept the gift?" "She don't matter now I exist" "I've thought lots about it and I am still in limbo" "I still don't know if it's down there in my soul if it's down there in my soul" "So, mayor Goodman." "Why do you want to scare that guy so bad?" "I mean, I admit, I'm no great fan of the man's policies, myself." "His policies?" "You see, that's the thing." "People always talk about him as this great guy." ""He's the mayor." "He makes good burgers." ""He's awesome, Woody Goodman."" "She don't know what he really is." "What is he, really?" "You want to know?" "You might want to apologize to Sacks, who spent the last hour with his arm down that drain." "A couple more minutes." "Please, Don." "He's about to open up." "No can do." "He's going home now." "He just made bail." "Who bailed him out?" "Mr. Manning." "Mr. Manning?" "Meg Manning's father?" "Guess he's got a soft spot for weirdos." "Hey." "Must not have been that wild a party if you're up this early." "It was... whatever." "Ahh... whatever." "You can go ahead in now." "Good morning." "Hello." "First, let me say that I'm sorry for running out last night like I did." "I was a bit overwhelmed." "I needed to collect my thoughts, think about what you said." "Veronica..." "Let me just get this out." "I don't want to lose you from my life, either." "And I'm not saying I'm ready to dive back into anything, but... after graduation, let's make it a point to see each other," "see where that takes us." "Remember what you said about our relationship being epic?" "Oh, god." "Last night was kind of a blur." "Is that our room service?" "No." "Just Veronica Mars." "What a disappointment." "Come on, let's get you cleaned up." "Bye, Veronica." "Look, whatever I said, I..." "You should know..." "Stop."