"GOSSIP GIRL:" "Gossip Girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite." "I raided Lily's medicine cabinet." "She sometimes gets headaches." "DAMIEN:" "Hell of a headache." " We need a second opinion." "If you go with another doctor, I'll stick around." "Blair Waldorf?" "We haven't read about you on Gossip Girl in forever." " You read Gossip Girl?" " Everyone at Columbia does." "I called to explain everything." "I left the message with Jenny." " She's lying." "I never talked to her." " Get out." "One spot for transfers." "I didn't get it." "I got the spot." "Why weren't you honest with me?" "Like you were?" "Going behind my back to apply for the thing I wanted?" "The reason I couldn't talk to you, it's not about my dad, it was about my mom." "She's sick." "I don't know what's gonna happen." "It's not working as I'd hoped." "I need you to write Lily a prescription." "I doubt the authorities would be pleased to know what you've been doing." "WOMAN:" "Where has she been?" "GOSSIP GIRL:" "And who am I?" "That's one secret I'll never tell." "You know you love me." "XOXO Gossip Girl." "GOSSIP GIRL:" "It's said that we're all strapped to fortune's wheel." "Nowhere is this truer than the ever-changing landscape of love." "As one couple enjoys an upswing  another is plunged downwards." "But top or bottom, don't get too comfortable." "Because the one thing you can rely on is that the wheel will keep on turning." "I'm heading to my mom's for breakfast." "Hey, you've been coming in late and leaving early all week." "I'm starting to feel cheap." "I'm sorry I haven't been around much lately." "With everything going well with my dad..." "Hey, Serena, no worries, okay?" "Look, I love being your crash pad but maybe you'd feel better if you moved in while she's getting treatment?" "And have to see Jenny's lying face first thing every morning?" "No, thank you." "That is not the same girl Chuck came home with last night." "Has he come to talk to Lily yet?" " Want me to talk to him?" " No, I already tried." "But thank you." "I'm gonna come to your lacrosse game after brunch." "Judge away." "Shame turns me on." "She's going to Lily's." "Stack of waffles'll help your hangover." "I find the cause is the best cure." "I gotta go so I will see you later at the library." "And I'm sorry about before with the Tisch catalogue." "It's fine." "Dan, I don't know how to do this." "We've been tiptoeing around each other for days." "We're artists in a relationship, sometimes we're gonna be competing for things." "So all right, we're smart people, let's come up with some rules." "A list of topics that are off-limits." "That got us in trouble with Tisch." "No, no, this will be different because we'll know what we don't know." "Hey, I'm quoting Donald Rumsfeld." "Until the sting of Tisch has worn off, I don't think we should talk about classes." "Like, if you're taking playwriting with Sam Shepard, it may hurt my heart." "Intro to Mime, I need to know." "I wanna be with you when you buy your beret." "Playwriting competitions." "We can go out for the same ones, but we can't read each other's submissions." "And looking forward." "It's the same thing with internships and jobs." "So the only things we can talk about openly are politics, Jersey Shore and where we wanna eat." "Which reminds me, I'm gonna be late for breakfast at my dad's." "Are you sure you don't wanna come?" " No, I'm sorry." "I have something." " Something related to our list?" "Actually, yeah." "Well, thank you for not sharing." "See?" "Can't believe how much easier that is." "[CELL PHONE BEEPS]" "Another sext session with your new b." "F?" "Hardly call Elliot boyfriend." "Me spending all my time with Mom and him being in every club in school?" " We haven't even been on a first date." " Hey, still using cooking as therapy?" "Ooh." "Ahem." "Excuse me." " Sorry." "LILY:" "Good morning, everyone." "Look at all of this food." "It's obscene." "Are you okay?" "LILY:" "Please, everyone, relax." "What I need is for the people who love me to treat me like they always do." "Has anybody heard from Chuck?" "Yeah." "He's sorry he couldn't make it." "Charles has the right idea." "If he were here then I'd really worry." "Heh, heh." "One thing I'll say about Will's treatment is that I have not lost my appetite." "I want waffles." "Music to my ears." "Dad." " What's he doing here?" " I invited him." "WILL:" "Hmm." "Looks great, Lil." "Really great." "I hope you'll all join me for this Doctors Without Borders gala at Columbia." "I admit I feel a bit silly about the whole thing." "Clearly Columbia's run out of alumni to honor if the best they could come up with is me." "False humility, check." "I hope you don't mind I invited Nate and Blair." " I really want them to get to know you." " Terrific, I'd be honored." "Well, Rufus and I would love to come." "Why don't you grab a plate, help yourself." "What?" "He left when I was 2." "The man's a total stranger to me." " You have to give him a chance." " No, I don't." "Okay, everyone, let's sit down and enjoy this wonderful food." "Dad, here, sit here." "Rufus, scoot over, please." "Please." "Thank you." "Hey, Blair, what's up?" "I thought I'd come and watch your lacrosse game so if you can make sure that there's a seat for me in VIP?" "Preferably next to an injured cute player." " Not one on scholarship." " Since when do you care about lacrosse?" "Since I desperately needed to get away from NYU." "Everyone's planning living arrangements for next year." "It's so depressing." "Your friends asked to live with them." "In a post-war building on a street that's not even numbered, it's lettered." "And its big selling point is that it's above a falafel stand." "All right, well, I gotta go." "There's no VIP, but there's a nice set of bleachers." "Blair?" "You probably don't remember us, we met you at your mom's fashion show?" "Yeah, of course." "Hairband girl." "I never forget a good accessory." "We're celebrating." "We just got the most amazing apartment ever." "You would totally approve." "Pre-war, doorman, and the best part?" "Fauchon is supposedly opening up next door." "Can I ask you something?" "What do you think about falafel?" "Ew." "Isn't that the kind of food paralegals eat?" "I never thought I'd see Blair Waldorf on the Upper West Side." "Unless..." "Oh, my God." "Are you transferring to Columbia?" "I hope so." "NYU is so beneath you." "[CHUCKLES]" "It's true." "I'm a Columbia girl now." "[BOTH SIGH]" "As you should be." "Yay!" "WILL:" "Last time I was invited to a ceremony in my honor I had to slaughter a chicken." "At least you've been honored." "I've never been." "I did win a contest at boarding school, and I think there was a plaque." "But I'm not sure that really counts." "What kind of contest?" "Drinking hot chocolate at the winter fair." "I had a buddy went to Exeter." "His stories would make Keith Richards blush." "Yeah, well, I wasn't really into the party scene." "I was there more for the academics." "Sounds like you've made some great choices." "I'm glad." "The bad ones have a way of following you." "I've never heard that hot chocolate story." "There're a lot of stories you haven't heard." "True, but I did hear this one." "My ex-boyfriend went to boarding school with Serena and he tells a great one about her and this teacher one night at a bed and breakfast." " Jenny." "JENNY:" "I'm sure they were studying." "You know, like she says, she was all about the academics." "I have an announcement, everyone." "I've decided I'm moving back in." "That way I can be here with you, Mom." "And it'll just be really great to be back in my old room." "Don't worry, Jenny, we'll find a place for you." "Well, that's great because I'm moving in too." "Downstairs." "I was waiting to tell till the board approved my sublet tomorrow but I'm very excited." "All my family together under one roof again." "GOSSIP GIRL:" "Better watch out, Humphreys, they say love makes a family  but on the Upper East Side, everyone knows it's real estate." "I'm sorry I'm running so late." "Can you save me a waffle?" "Always." "I'll put one in the oven for you." "DAN:" "How's Lily?" " She's great." "You?" "How you holding up?" "It must be weird." "Lily's ex-husband is now her doctor." "It was, but the fact is, he's just her doctor now." "I'm her husband." "Vanessa can't make it." "Had to be somewhere." "Oh, right." "The internship at CNN." "They called me as one of the references she listed." "Yeah, I wouldn't know." "She and I are keeping our creative lives separate right now." "You might want to discuss this one." "Since it involves her going to Haiti for three months." "You know, I think I'm gonna have to cancel that waffle." " Okay." " All right, see you." "Hey." "I know this gala tomorrow night seems boring but I thought if there's a girl you like, perhaps you'd like to invite her." "Actually, I'm gay." "So if I was going, which I'm not then my date would be a guy named Elliot." "That's cool." "Bring Elliot." "I'd love to meet him." "Please stop acting like you and I have any kind of relationship." "You're right." " I have a lot to make up for." " I'm sorry." "The window for that closed somewhere between my 12th birthday and, um, my suicide attempt." "Don't worry, I'm fine now." "Going through all that without a father made me realize that I don't need one." "I understand that I've lost the right to be a father to you..." "[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] ...but if there's any way that we could get to know each other on your terms." "Serena may want a relationship with you but I don't." "Serena, stop it." "You can't do that." "The room was on loan, I'm taking it back." "I don't care if I did leave it, borrowing without asking's stealing." " Dad, tell her to stop." " I think it's great you're moving back in." "This is Jenny's room." "You can stay in Chuck's." "No." "That room is haunted by Chuck's depravity." "Jenny can take it." "I'm sure it wouldn't bother you." "Okay, what's going on with you two?" "Nothing." "Whatever." "Serena can have her room back." "Ridiculous." "I'll have Laryssa make up Chuck's bed." "I'm confident there's no depravity brand-new E. Braun sheets can't erase." "How many problems Jenny have to cause before you realize she's the problem?" "Hey." "Thanks for meeting me here." "The library..." "Did you apply for a documentary internship in Haiti?" "Yeah." "The producer just called." "I got the job." " When were you planning on telling me?" " This morning." "Then you put internships on the do-not-discuss list and I panicked." "Why?" "This is not about competing for something, this is about our relationship." "Both have been so tied up in each other." "And this job is a huge deal for me." "You can't pretend going away for months isn't gonna affect us." "I didn't want to face that." "It was easier when we were friends, we could talk about things." "All right, so is that what you want then?" "You wanna go back to just friends?" "I don't know." "Anyway." "Serena might be a little upset." "Well, you were right." "She can stay in Charles' room." " It's getting crowded around here." " No kidding." "Throw in your ex-husband and now we're a Nancy Meyers movie." "I hope you don't mind." "I know it's awkward." "Well, I mean, it is a little unusual, don't you think?" "A doctor to move in to his patient's building?" "Well, not if he's the father of the patient's children." "What are you getting at?" "Is it possible that Will's also trying to get close to you?" "Absolutely not." "I told William to stay away if he couldn't make good on promises he made to the children." "And I'm sorry if this is uncomfortable but if William wants to move in to be closer to the kids I'm not gonna stand in his way." "Holland, hi, it's Rufus." "I have a favor to ask." "And the social scene at NYU was criminal." "Ten freshmen, a keg and a tub of hummus on a card table isn't a party it's a tragedy." "[CELL PHONE RINGS]" "Blair Waldorf just got a text." "It's like watching Lady Gaga set fire to a piano." "[CHUCKLES]" " Who's it from?" " Serena." "Jenny Humphrey's claiming squatter's rights on her old room." " It's disgusting." " Oh, my God." "Jenny can't do that to Serena van der Woodsen." "So, what's the plan of attack?" "It's between Serena and Jenny." "Anyway, I had some recent bad luck getting involved in a real estate dispute." "So I was thinking Warren-Tricomi mani-pedis?" "I told you." "It doesn't matter if she transfers." "Blair Waldorf was over the minute she became a student at NYU." "Are you third-personing me?" "I third-person people, not you." "ZOE:" "Exactly." "You're Blair Waldorf." "Fashion icon, queen bee and probably the future president of the United States." "Or Chanel." "Jenny Humphrey just kicked Serena van der Woodsen out of her room." "You're not gonna do anything?" "I would, I just don't have any dirt on Jenny right now." "Ahem." "I do." "Jenny and her boyfriend sold my boyfriend Adderall a couple of months ago." "Lose the judge-face, Zoe." "He took a very heavy course load this semester." "Jenny Humphrey, drug dealer." "I can work with that." "GOSSIP GIRL:" "We hear Blair Waldorf's headed for a comeback." "But if she wants to keep her fans happy..." " Send." " ... she better keep serving up the hits." " Sleep well?" " Don't even, Serena." "I can't believe you posted on Gossip Girl that I'm a drug dealer." " I didn't post anything." " Maybe you didn't send the e-mail." " But you have Blair do your dirty work." " I can't help what Blair does." "And you are the one who played Pablo Escobar to underage preppy pill-poppers." "My dad and I were finally in a good place after a really, really bad patch." "If he finds out it'll destroy everything." "Maybe Rufus should know his daughter is dealing drugs." "You thought my father should know all my adventures at boarding school." "Fine." "I shouldn't have said anything, but you shouldn't be lying to your dad." "Are you really lecturing me about lying to a parent?" "My dad knows who I am." "You build a relationship with yours that's a lie." "I can't believe you're willing to destroy my relationship with my father because you're too scared that yours won't love you for who you really are." "[KNOCKING ON DOOR]" "You were right." "We need to make these decisions together." "Truth is, consulting with someone doesn't come easily." "I get it." " Vanessa, I totally support you going." " Thank you." "But I'm not taking the internship." "I'd rather lose the job than lose you." "You're not gonna lose me if you go to Haiti." "We're gonna find a way to make this work, all right, but you gotta go." "I don't want to." "It's better for our relationship if I stay." "I mean, three months is too long." "And I just want to be with you." "Are you sure?" "You're making this decision for you?" "Not me?" "Not even us?" "All right." "Okay." "Then let's find a way to celebrate tonight then." "A fun way." "We could..." "Let's see, you wanna sneak 40s into the midnight show of The Lost Weekend at Film Forum?" "I'm having drinks with the woman from CNN." "I owe it to her to tell her my decision face-to-face." "Okay." "All right." "Well, tomorrow night then." "Absolutely." "[PEOPLE CHATTERING]" "[CELL PHONE RINGS]" "Blair." "Hey, you never made it to my lacrosse game yesterday." "What are you doing?" "I could ask you the same question." "Does Serena know you're trying plaid?" "Seriously, I expected Chuck to go back to his old habits after your breakup." " But I actually thought you'd grown up." " What do you mean?" "Blair Waldorf on the Upper West Side two days in a row?" "Looks like you're pretending to be a student." "And not that I care what Jenny Humphrey does these days." "But I saw that smackdown on Gossip Girl." "She was dealing drugs." "It's called an intervention." "It's called you going back to plotting and conniving." "The Waldorf equivalent of Chuck going around sleeping with every call girl in the city and avoiding any kind of emotional contact." "Okay." "So I'm pretending to be a student here." "It's because I'm living a nightmare." "I'm trapped at NYU and it's too late to transfer." "So, what's wrong with cheering myself up with a little denial and a Gossip Girl blast or two?" "Nothing, I guess." "But you can always make it right with whoever you take down online." "And who knows if Chuck's even gonna have time to do that with Lily or not." "Morning, sunshine." "Got the Dom '95, your favorite." "No, thank you." "And I prefer Roederer nowadays." "I apologize, Nadine left behind some of her intimates." "Must have wanted an excuse to come back." "Or maybe she just left in a hurry." "If you're here to mock, I'm not in the mood." "Unless you have some punishment in mind." "We've broken up and frankly, I don't care what you do." "But I can't sit by and just watch you avoid Lily." "I'm actually quite busy with work." "Well, you had time for Nadine." "Trust me, she was work." "I promise you, Lily isn't sitting around wondering when she's going to hear from Chuck." "Justify not seeing Lily all you want, you and I both know what this is." "You've lost Bart, Elizabeth betrayed you and the thought of losing Lily terrifies you." "Please, spare me your NYU freshman psych analysis." "Perhaps if you were at an lvy you'd have better insight." "Perhaps if you were at an lvy you'd have better insight." "[CELL PHONE RINGS]" "GOSSIP GIRL:" "Spotted:" "B claiming to be a coed at Columbia  when everyone knows she's a zero at NYU." "Poor B, first she lost Chuck and now her dignity." "CHUCK:" "Gossip Girl blast?" " No, it's nothing." "Look, Chuck, sleep with every Nadine in town for all I care." "But don't close your heart to Lily." "You and I both know that in the end the person you'll end up hurting most is you." "Amalia, it's Blair." "Are you still waiting on me to sign the lease?" "Well, tell the girls it's a yes." "I'll take the apartment." "GOSSIP GIRL:" "You make your bed, you lie in it, B." "Too bad yours is in the East Village." "Were you able to convince your brother to come?" " No." "Please don't act like you care." " I'm sorry?" "I got off the phone with my dad." "Someone didn't want him in the building." "They gave him a bad recommendation." "It worked." "The board didn't approve him." "You're behind this, right?" " I am." " How could you do that?" "I don't expect you to understand, I felt it was the right thing to do." "You and my father used to hate each other, that was a long time ago." "You are the only one still having this fight." " He's moved on." "LILY:" "Is everything okay?" "Rufus went to the board and blocked Dad." "LILY:" "Serena, that's absurd." "Rufus would never do that." "I would." "To protect my marriage." "I don't trust William, I don't want him living under my roof." "You're being completely paranoid." "He tried to isolate you from your family." "He's moving in to get closer to you." "I told you, he's moving in to be close to the children." "All I see here is jealousy run amok." "Mom, come on." "We should go." " Lil." "SERENA:" "Rufus." "It's probably best if you don't come tonight." "What are you two doing here?" "This is an alumni event." "Columbia puts aside a bunch of tickets for students." "JESSICA:" "We'd invite you to join, but they were very explicit." "No fake students allowed." "[CHATTERING]" "MAN:" "Hey, doctor." "If you'll excuse me a moment, I should go say hello to a few old colleagues." " I'll be right back." " Don't rush." "Hey." "Do I want to know what you had to promise him to get him to come?" "NATE:" "It wasn't me." "It's not like he listens to me." "He probably ran out of girls to have sex with." "I want to apologize." "My absence has been inexcusable." "Well, I know my situation brings up a lot of issues for you." " You've had to deal with so much loss." " But I'm not going to lose you." "I'm here for you." "Every step of the way." "You look good, Lily." "In fact, better than good." "You look great." "[CHUCKLES]" "Thank you." "I feel great." "So you had better be prepared for a lifetime of family brunches because I'm not going anywhere." "Okay." "DAN:" "Oh." "I bailed on the Columbia Gala." "Was kind of in the mood for watching a pretentious movie with you and Vanessa." "No Vanessa, but pretentious movie, check." "Look, not that I'm not thrilled to expose you to the joys of Russian cinema but does this visit have anything to do with the Gossip Girl blast?" "Is it true?" "Are you dealing?" "I was, when I was dating Damien, yeah." " But no, not anymore." " This could so easily get back to Dad." "It'd be better if he heard it from you." "Are you insane?" "I mean, you and I both know that's a suicide mission." "Look, if you want him to have faith in you, Jenny maybe you need to have a little faith in him." "Yeah, all right, I'll go see if I can dig out a dress in my old closet." "Maybe I can catch him at the gala." "You know, big crowd, lots of witnesses." "Oh, uh..." " Everything okay with you and Vanessa?" " Yeah." "Yeah, well, at least I think it is." "Been hard to say lately." "Well, maybe you need to have a little faith too." " You look terrific." "It's great to see you." " You too." " Good to see you." " Good to see you, pal." "Dad, do you have a second, I wanna talk to you about something." "Sure, please, sit." "You know, the contest that I won at boarding school." "It was for drinking absinthe." "And that was probably one of my tamer nights." "The truth is I've had a pretty wild past and I've been a part of more than one scandal." "Serena, I don't care about any of that." "I don't know, I guess I was just scared that once Mom gets better you may not wanna stick around if you knew the real me." "Honey, I want nothing more than to be a part of all of your lives again." "I'm trying to figure out how big a role I can play without stepping on anybody's toes." "Yeah." "You know, I love Rufus." "But you're my dad." "He's not." "GOSSIP GIRL:" "Aw." "Serena finally has the perfect relationship with her daddy." "But will her dream come true be Rufus' worst nightmare?" "BARTENDER:" "Here we are." "Thank you." "Of course, the theme of this evening seems to be torture." "You not a fan of university galas?" "Quite the opposite." "I'm in my natural habitat." "It's torture because it's at Columbia." "And by some cruel twist of fate I go to NYU." "Like being locked out of Lanvin the day they get Fall." "Sorry, I don't mean to ramble on." "I'm Blair Waldorf." " Wait, I know that name." " You read Gossip Girl?" "No, I read college applications." "I work in the admissions office." "I was just looking at your application today." "I'm sorry?" "Look, it's not our policy to do this but e-mails go out tomorrow and you're standing right here." "So welcome to Columbia, Blair Waldorf." "[LAUGHS]" "Champagne, please." "Whoa." "Are you okay?" "You got crazy eyes." "I think I just became a Columbia student for real." "It doesn't make any sense." "I never applied." "Oh, my God, I cannot believe he actually did it." "Months ago, Chuck joked about applying for you." "He said you had too much pride to admit NYU was a mistake." "Looks like he actually did something right for once." "Congratulations." "[CHUCKLES]" "Oh." "Thanks." "You're not at the gala?" "I thought it best for everybody if I didn't go." "I see my father is still working his magic." " It's not all him." " Yes, it is." "It's just that no one else sees it." "You make my mom happier than her ex-husbands combined." "Should be you with her tonight." "Not some guy who pulled a disappearing act." "Well, I am already in the tux." " Elliot, what are you doing here?" " Your father invited me." "He said he didn't think you had plans tonight." "Not me." "I hope that's okay." "It's okay to be mad at him, Eric." "But it's okay to let him try to make it right too." "All right, I'm heading out." "Wish me luck." "You don't need it." "You're the only one for her." "After Dr. Van der Woodsen organized the response to the polio outbreak in India, he moved on to Somalia." "Where he served as a field coordinator in Hudur." "While there, he oversaw everything from shrapnel wounds to cancer to chronic illness." "Rufus." "I'm surprised to see you here of all places." "Holland, if you'll excuse me I'll catch up with you later, I need to talk to Lily." " What are you doing here?" " Sorry about today." "I don't want Will to come between us." "I don't give a damn who lives where." "I just want to be with you." "DEAN:" "Access to primary health care in remote villages." "He has done all of this while continuing to build his reputation as a leader in the progressive treatments of cancer." "Lily looks amazing, doesn't she?" "Being sick hasn't slowed her down at all." "Yeah, she's the picture of health." "DEAN:" " Valuable member of our team." "Ladies and gentlemen, Dr. William van der Woodsen." "Thank you." "Thank you, dean." "Thank you." "I had another speech prepared for you this evening but then my beautiful daughter Serena came to me." "And she was so honest and brave that it made me realize that I need to be honest too." "I made many personal sacrifices to be a doctor." "But I never quite realized until now that the greatest sacrifice of all was my family." "So the most important thing that I can say here tonight is not to all of you but to them." "I made the biggest mistake of my life walking out." "And I promise to do everything in my power to make it up to you to make it right again." "Because I love you." "GOSSIP GIRL:" "My, oh, my." "Did Dr. Van der Woodsen just make a public pass at Rufus's wife?" "Looks like this doctor without borders needs a few boundaries." "[COLD WAR KIDS' "AUDIENCE" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]" "Sunday nights that you want her" "Like velvet cake" "Well, I guess you were right about William." "But it doesn't matter how he feels about me." "I don't love him." "I love you, Rufus." "I know you're comfortable with him, Lil, but I'm not." " I need you to find another doctor." " I understand why you don't trust him." "But surely you trust me." "Look, I don't want to fight with you, Rufus." "Okay, we'll put it aside till tomorrow." "Let's get you home." "You know what, right now, more than anything, I just need a quiet night alone." " Lily." " Please, just for tonight." "I need you to sleep at the loft." "Lily." " Jenny Humphrey." " Yeah?" "You bitch." "Told me you were selling me Oxy, but those pills were antibiotics." "I didn't get high." "I got a yeast infection." "Dad." "I can explain." "I came here to tell you." "Save your breath." "Like I'm gonna believe a word out of your mouth." "Get your things and come with me." "We're going home." "To Brooklyn." "What did you wanna talk about?" "The producer from CNN flew in." "I'm gonna meet her in 20 minutes." " I want you to take the internship." " Come on, Dan." "I don't want us to be making decisions based in fear." "All right, so whatever happens, we'll figure it out." "Thank you." "I got you stationery so we can write some handwritten letters to each other while you're away." "That is so romantic." "Maybe if we become famous writers one day they'll publish them after we die." "Maybe, but don't let that stop you from writing some dirty stuff." "Just a little bit." "I'm gonna miss you so much." "Not if you don't go." "You don't wanna be late to meet your boss." "Get out of here." "SERENA:" "Thank you." " Hey, Holland." " Hey, have you seen your mother?" " No, I think she left." " Oh." "Is everything okay?" "If Dr. Van der Woodsen loves your mother as much as he said he did in that speech maybe there's something she should know about Rufus." "GOSSIP GIRL:" "Listen carefully, S. Holland has a tale to tell." "Apparently her upstairs neighbor has been coming downstairs." " Good night." "WOMAN:" "Take care." "WILL:" "Good to see you." "MAN:" "Same here." "SERENA:" "Dad." "Serena, I thought you left." "Um..." "Is everything okay?" "Not really, no." "I heard what you said in your speech, if you want to fight for Mom, you should." "[CLEARS THROAT]" "Hi, I think you girls got some misinformation." " I will be attending Columbia in the fall." "JESSICA:" "Oh." "Well, that's awesome." "We have an extra room in the apartment." " Maybe you want to move in with us?" " I don't live with the help." "Oh, and you wanted to see a Blair Waldorf takedown?" "Well, cross me again and you'll experience one firsthand." "[RINGS]" " Hello." "JENNY:" "Hey, it's Jenny." "I wanted to talk to you about Lily." "I wanted to talk to you about Lily." "Obviously, I'm not a doctor, and it's kind of a long story how I know this." "But there's something weird about her medicine." "Elliot's the perfect mix of smart and fun." "He speaks three languages, but he has a subscription to People magazine." "Hey." "I invited Dad over for some hot chocolate." "I hope that's okay." " Lf it's a bad idea, I can..." " No." "It's okay." "William, join us." "Thank you." "[PHONE RINGING]" " Hey, Rufus, it's Serena." " Hi." "Your mom there?" "Yeah, she's here, she's just really tired right now." "I'll let her know you called." "GOSSIP GIRL:" "They say that family are the people who will always take you in." "But what if instead, they shut the door?" "I was just telling Mom about my date with Elliot." "We had a great time." "Thank you." " Who was that?" " It was just Blair." "Or even worse, let someone else take your place?" "What do you say, Serena?" "Who's your daddy?" "XOXO, Gossip Girl." "[ENGLISH" " US" " SDH]"