"(JOHN CLEARS THROAT) (GAIL BLOWING RASPBERRIES)" "(JOHN AND GAIL VOCALIZING)" "(JOHN AND GAIL SCATTING)" "(LAUGHING)" "Welcome back, a cappella enthusiasts." "My name is John Smith, and sitting here to my left is Gail Abernathy-McCadden-Feinberger." "Oh, this one's gonna stick, John." "Well, you saved the Jew for last." "I did." "I did." "You're listening to Let's Talk-Appella, the world's premiere downloadable a cappella podcast." "We are coming to you live from the nation's capital, where the Barden University Bellas are about to rock the historic Kennedy Center." "JOHN:" "Boy, these girls have broken down every single barrier in their path, haven't they, Gail?" "GAIL:" "Absolutely, John." "The first all-female group to win a national title, three-time defending champs, and now, here they are, performing for the President of the United States on his birthday." "JOHN:" "Wow!" "What an inspiration to girls all over the country who are too ugly to be cheerleaders." "(ALL APPLAUDING) (SCATTERED CHEERING)" "(SINGING DANCE-POP SONG)" "(SINGING HIP-HOP SONG)" "JOHN:" "Here's Beca Mitchell, leader of the group." "GAIL:" "Look at these sequins and sparkles." "Oh, my!" "Their feet just don't stop moving." "(CONTINUES SINGING)" "(SINGING DANCE-POP SONG)" "(SINGING HIP-HOP SONG)" "GAIL:" "Florencia Fuentes just earned her green card, John." "She may have to do that backflip right back over the fence into Mexico." "I think she's Guatemalan." "Oh, none of that matters." "GAIL:" "There is so much happening on stage," "I don't even know where to look." "Back in my day, we put on our blazers and we just sang." "We maybe snapped our fingers if we were feeling frisky." "(SINGING PATRIOTIC SONG)" "(SINGING POP SONG)" "GAIL:" "Whoa!" "Another surprise!" "JOHN:" "An overweight girl dangling from the ceiling." "Who hasn't had that dream?" "Lots of us." "(CONTINUES SINGING)" "(SINGING HIP-HOP SONG)" "(SINGING POP SONG)" "(AMY SCREAMING)" "(AUDIENCE GASPS)" "GAIL:" "No!" "JOHN:" "Okay, she has no underwear on." "Oh, my God." "We have a commando situation." "There is a commando situation on stage!" "GAIL:" "Who is on top of this?" "What kind of person..." "JOHN:" "Holy cow!" "Take her back up." "She's turning." "GAIL:" "Pull her up already!" "She's turning." "Brace yourselves." "No." "She's coming." "She's coming!" "AMY:" "Avert your eyes, or take it all in!" "Make your choice!" "GAIL:" "Not the front!" "Nobody wants to see the front!" "Oh, no!" "(AUDIENCE GASPS)" "(BOTH SCREAMING)" "Happy birthday, Mr. President." "The Australian singer who calls herself "Fat Amy"" "gave the President a birthday gift from down under during last night's celebration held at the historic Kennedy Center." "In case you're wondering what I mean by "down under," Chip," "I'm talking about her (SLEEP)." "She showed her (BLEEP) to the President." "All eyes were on the a cappella singers, the Barden Bellas." "Three-time defending a cappella national champions, which is a real thing, apparently." "Although authorities have ruled out terrorism as a motive, the Bellas claim the mishap was merely an accident and issued an apology." "I am deeply sorry for the upset that I have caused." "I feel that I have already received punishment enough in the form of silk burn." "Exhibit C." "No, no, no!" "It's filth." "Women who sing are just another example of cultural decay, due to loose morals." "Not wearing underwear seems kind of intentional to me." "Mmm." "Yeah, you either choose to wear underwear, or you don't wear underwear." "It's a choice I make every day." "You know, until today, I thought singing a cappella was the most embarrassing thing you could do." "Normally, that group is on point, and last night, they were off-point, off-key, and then on the floor." "It's a national disgrace." "Yeah, but I'd rather be in that limo ride home with the President." "Cut to the real President, he'd be like," ""That (BLEEP) was off the hook!" (LAUGHTER)" "(CYCLE BELL RINGING)" "Chloe, chill out." "It was a mistake." "They're not gonna burn us for witchcraft." "No, but the National A Cappella Association is in there talking to the dean about us, and who knows what's gonna happen?" "We won three championships." "Whatever happens in there, we're gonna be fine." "Maybe it's time to think about other stuff." "What other stuff?" "You know, school, jobs, life." "This group is my life." "I've intentionally failed Russian Lit three times so I could be a Bella." "This is the worst thing that's ever happened to us." "Even." "You know, before coming to Barden," "I had diarrhea for seven years." "But yes, this is terrible." "The dean is ready for you tramps." "STACIE:" "On, jeez." "Ladies, you have dragged the good name of Barden University into the gutter." "And you've really upset these people whose names I've already forgotten." "Your little southern exposure in front of our Commander-in-Chief has irreparably damaged the entire institution of a cappella." "Just blew it up." "Funding is drying up, sponsors are pulling out." "GAIL:" "Mmm-hmm." "JOHN:" "Unfortunately, an example must be made." "It is the decision of this governing body that the Bellas are hereby suspended from competing at the collegiate level." "JESSICA:" "What?" "The terms of your suspension are laid out in this document." "I'm sorry, but it's over." "Hi." "Okay, can we be reasonable?" "Fat Amy apologized." "This was an accident." "Was it?" "(CHLOE GASPS)" "You're taking us off of our victory tour?" "Who's gonna sing the national anthem at the Puppy Bowl?" "You're being replaced by the European champions." "A German group of total professionals." "In other words, they're gonna keep their pants on." "So we can't defend our title and we can't tour?" "DEAN:" "And you can't hold any auditions." "We don't need your ranks to grow like a fungus." "CHLOE:" "Oh, so that's it, then?" "So, basically, the Bellas are over?" "JOHN:" "Look, ladies," "I'm sorry that this disciplinary action has shocked you." "Especially since you're all seniors." "But the truth is, you're just women." "No." "And you'll all be pregnant soon." "Mmm." "EMILY:" "Mom, I'm late." "It's orientation." "You gotta let me go." "Oh, I can't." "I just can't do it." "Mom, you can do it." "My only daughter, leaving the nest." "(SINGING) If you leave me now." "You'll take away the biggest part of me." "Mom." "You want me to stop?" "(SINGING) Or I could keep singing!" "No, I don't know how I'm gonna get by without your spontaneous singing." "Oh, honey, you're gonna love this place." "Just promise you'll call." "Oh, and, honey, don't be afraid to express yourself." "And not with those weird buttons they wear in their earlobes." "Unless you're gonna get a job..." "Mom, slow down." "I'm not gonna do anything crazy." "I'm just gonna write my songs and join an a cappella group." "Not just any a cappella group." "The Bellas are an institution." "My days as a Bella were the best..." "Best days of your life." "I know." "And I can't wait to be one." "Unless they don't take me, Mom." "Oh, no, honey, they're gonna take you." "Thanks to me, you were born into it." "And then I'm gonna be your mother... (SINGING) And your sister." "Gross." "Okay." "(EXHALES SHARPLY)" "All right, the next phase of my life begins." "CHLOE:" "Hold on." "There is nothing in here that strips us of our national title." "And if we're still reigning champs, then we are automatically invited to represent America at the World Championships this spring." "Ah, yes, the World Championships of A Cappella, where, every four years, groups from around the globe compete for world domination." "I'm sorry." "I just feel like I always have to be on, you know." "JOHN:" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Well, look, ladies, we can't stop you from going to the Worlds competition." "It's not gonna help your case here." "GAIL:" "Not at all." "What if We Win it?" "JOHN:" "What if you Win it?" "(SCOFFS) Like, you..." "You out-perform the other groups?" "(JOHN LAUGHING)" "How do you fit such big dreams in such a small body?" "What if you win it?" "(LAUGHING)" "(INDISTINCT MOUTHING)" "Never." "What if you win it?" "Yeah." "If we win, will you reinstate us?" "GAIL:" "Sure." "But no American team has ever won." "That's because they hate us." "The whole world." "The whole world hates us." "Hate us." "GIRL: (OVER SPEAKER) Hello, fresh-persons!" "Welcome to Barden University!" "(ALL CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)" "Okay!" "The Barden Knight." "Okay, get off the stage." "No one cares about you." "All right." "You have made a great choice, and a cheap one." "Yay, Barden!" "We have a very special performance for you guys today." "The pride and joy of Barden University, the Treblamakers!" "Thank you!" "Thank you, thank you." "We are the Treblemakers." "I'm Jesse, and this is a cappella." "Let's do this!" "Hey yo, Trebles!" "(SCATTING)" "(SINGING BUBBLEGUM POP SONG)" "(VOCALIZING)" "(CONTINUES SINGING)" "Someone drop some bass." "(CONTINUES SINGING BUBBLEGUM POP SONG)" "JESSE:" "Now I need some baritone." "(ALL SINGING)" "(ALL CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)" "All right!" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God!" "On, my God;" "Chloe, don't blame yourself." "Oh, my God!" "You're a ginger." "That's punishment enough." "This is not all your fault." "This is on all of us." "So, if we don't win the Worlds, then what are we?" "Just a bunch of girls that hang out?" "What's wrong with that?" "(CLICKS TONGUE)" "If we don't win, the Bellas are over." "(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)" "This is the biggest challenge that any of us have ever faced." "When I was nine years old, my brother tried to sell me for a chicken, so..." "Well, I will do whoever it takes in order for us to get back to the top." "You mean "whatever" it takes." "Yeah, I'll do that, too." "That's great news." "Yes." "No, I can start Monday." "I would be stoked to start on..." "Sorry, I don't say "stoked." I don't say stuff like that." "I'm, like, I'm pretty cool." "You're gonna like me." "That was bad, too." "We need to attack this problem head-on." "I want 100% commitment and laser focus, right?" "Great!" "I will see you Monday." "Beca out!" "(MOUTHING)" "Beca." "BECA:" "Yeah." "JESSE:" "Hey, ladies." "Wanna come to a party?" "It's a tiki party." "You guys don't even have to wear shoes." "It's the best kind of party." "Here you go." "Sure." "Hey, great job, Trebles." "You guys killed it." "Oh, thank you." "You like a cappella?" "Oh, yeah." "I've got my heart set on being a Bella." "It's actually at the very top of all my dream boards." "BENJI:" "Did I hear mention of dreams?" "Hi." "Benjamin Applebaum at your service." "Hello." "I just have to say, you are so spirited." "I..." "I just wanna put you in a box and saw you in half." "JESSE:" "For magic." "As a part of a trick." "He does magic." "Right." "It's only weird if you don't embrace it." "Dude, explain yourself." "I'll be honest, I completely blacked out." "How'd I do, man?" "Honestly?" "I've seen you do worse." "Awesome." "STACIE:" "It's been months and we're still getting hate mail?" "Sucks!" ""For your hairy situation"?" "Oh." "CHLOE:" "Okay, we are officially registered." "Update your passports, ladies, because we are going to the very sunny, very beautiful, Copenhagen!" "Yeah!" "Nice!" "Yes!" "Oh." "Where is that?" "I don't know." "I failed Maps." "It looks like the competition has been dominated by that stupid German group that took over our tour." "You mean "stole" our tour." "AMY:" "Word." "We need to scout those Deutsche-bags." "FLO:" "Yes." "But how good can they be?" "Germany hasn't produced a good singer since David Hasselhoff." "We're gonna crush them." "And when we do, we can stick it to these chumps who send us all this hate mail, like," ""Sonia Sotomayor."" "Judgy bitch." "The Bellas are back!" "Yeah!" "Whoo-hoo!" "Yeah!" "We're back." "Has anyone talked to Beca today?" "JESSE:" "So?" "Any first-day jitters?" "No, no." "You know, I'm just gonna be moody and distant." "Artists love that." "I know I love that." "Here you go." "Okay." "Dude, why do I feel so guilty?" "I've given a lot to the Bellas, right?" "It's, like, three years of my life." "Yeah, Bec, you should not feel guilty at all about taking your shot." "This is a big deal, right?" "Yes, it's a very big deal." "Okay." "Go." "All right." "Nothing's gonna stop my girl!" "I don't know him!" "Bec's in effects, y'all!" "You can go!" "(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)" "Are you ready, or..." "(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)" "Okay, everybody, huddle up." "Let's go, let's go, let's go!" "Get up!" "Come on!" "To the table, please!" "To the table!" "Last one at this table has to help Frank watch YouTube videos to find the next Justin Bieber." "Hey, so, I'm turning 25 next week, if anybody wants to get some drinks, celebrate." "Frank, buddy, less talk." "Thank you so much." "Okay, my people, check it out." "That"." "This..." "Dax, the tech guy." "Did you call the tech guy?" "Yeah, I talked to him." "Do you understand that everything else in my life works?" "Uh-huh." "So, I just need everything here to work, too, okay?" "Well, he said he was gonna call me back." "Oh, my God." "You want me to call him now?" "(WHISPERING) Don't do it now." "Okay." "There we go." "That is the Lion himself." "That is the legendary Snoop D-O-Double-G singing White Christmas at a tree-lighting ceremony in Moscow." "And he was so moved by the power of music to unite the world or some shit, that now he wants to drop his own cool Christmas album." "And because I sleep on a bed of Grammys, he has decided to hire me to produce it." "Now..." "But Snoop Dogg already dropped a Christmas album." "If you had listened to the album like I did, stranded in the air with T.l. on a golden hang glider, then you would have known that none of the songs were the classics." "I've had to listen to that album on two separate occasions." "Hang glider with T.I." "and also a rocket ship that Eminem has built." "It doesn't go anywhere, but he's got dreams for it, okay?" "So I need you to close your mouth." "Herein lies the problem, everybody." "Last time I checked, there are over a million Christmas albums with the same 10 damn songs on them." "So, guys, I'm telling you, man," "I need all hands on deck right now to come up with ideas on how to make this one stand out." "Okay?" "You got it?" "Fire when ready." "I want to hear ideas." "Anything." "Anybody" "Anybody right now would be great." "Anybody to talk..." "What if we got those dogs..." "Anybody but you." "What if we got those dogs that bark Jingle Bells to back him up?" "And let me, let me, let me guess, let me guess." "You want those dogs to back him up because he's "Snoop Dogg"?" "Yeah!" "That is a really great example of a horrible idea." "Take a lap." "What?" "Take a lap." "But I'm wearing skinny jeans." "I don't care." "Go." "Go." "Let's go." "I wanna see knees up." "Knees up, please." "Guys, I should give you a little more time." "A minute." "You got one minute. 60 seconds." "My time is like a toddler in a tiara, okay?" "Precious and short." "I need really great ideas." "Snoop is coming!" "(DOORBELL RINGING)" "Oh." "Sorry, my boobs are all crazy." "I was just jumping." "(STAMMERING) I just came from auditions." "You guys weren't there." "I was hoping for the chance to sing for you." "No, can't help you." "We're not allowed to take anyone else new." "Oh, no, no, no." "Wait, wait, wait!" "I'm a Junk!" "What'd you say about your junk?" "I'm Emily Junk." "I know, it's weird." "It's my mom's last name." "My dad's last name is Hardon, so..." "Um..." "I'm a Legacy." "Junk." "Junk." "My mom was a Bella." "Your mother is Katherine Junk?" "Who?" "Only the top bitch of the 1981 Bellas." "She pioneered the syncopated booty shake." "And word is she has a five-octave vocal range." "EMILY:" "Yep, still does." "You do not want to hear that woman doing it with my dad." "Whew." "What an odd thing to say." "True." "If a Legacy wants to audition, we have to let her." "Okay, um..." "Show us what you got." "Right now?" "Right here?" "Right here, right now." "Yeah." "Okay, um, I'd like to perform an original song that I've been working on." "I'm not quite finished with it though, so let's not be dicks about it." "Sorry, that was crass, wasn't it?" "Fat Amy, you have a lovely vagina." "Thank you." "Proceed." "(SINGING) When tomorrow comes I'll be on my own." "Feeling frightened of the things that I don't know." "When tomorrow comes When tomorrow comes." "When tomorrow comes." "And though the road is long I look up to the sky." "Darkness all around..." "No." "That one, I'm not..." "I'm still kind of tinkering with that verse." "So it's not..." "Nothing's really completely set." "(SINGING) I got all I need when I got you and I" "'Cause I look around me and see a sweet life." "I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight." "You're getting me, getting me through the night" "(IMITATES DRUMS AND GUITAR)" "You are my flashlight." "Would you excuse us for just one second?" "(CLEARS THROAT)" "She's pretty good." "Can't we take her?" "What do you expect us to say?" "She's standing right there." "(CHUCKLES)" "She's definitely not a soloist." "No." "Technically, she came to us, so really we're not breaking any rules." "Yeah, it's the perfect loophole." "You know, it's always good to have an extra body." "Just in case one of us gets kidnapped for ransom, is thrown into a shipping container, and is made to eat only leaves and gas receipts." "Mmm, I agree." "We need new blood." "I don't think we should decide anything without Beca." "(SOFTLY) I keep a penny under my tongue." "Did anyone else think it was creepy that she never really opened her eyes the whole time?" "Again, we're talking about her and she's standing right there." "FLO:" "Oh, yeah." "But if we're gonna talk negatives, let's start with the giraffe legs." "Okay, let's take a vote on it." "Anyone who wants her in, sing a G-sharp." "Anyone who doesn't, sing an E-flat." "STACIE:" "Okay." "One, two... (ALL VOCALIZING)" "I like your shirt." "(CLEARS THROAT)" "Welcome to the Bellas!" "O-M-a-ca-G!" "Whoo!" "Oh." "Stop, girl, stop." "Yeah, stop, stop it." "Girl, stop." "EMILY:" "Sorry." "So, when does initiation start?" "Tell you what, I'll go back to my dorm and pretend to be surprised when you throw the hood over my head and make me solve a Rubik's Cube while sucking vodka from a maxi pad." "That's what my mom said happened." "CHLOE:" "Mmm, no can do." "Well, look around." "We don't exactly have a maxi pad to spare, so..." "All right, grab your guts, ladies!" "It's party time!" "We've got tickets to Copenhagen and a brand new Bella!" "(ALL CHEERING)" "Let's go!" "All right." "Should I..." "CHLOE:" "Come on, girl!" "I'm gonna just leave my bag here." "STACIE:" "Let's go get into treble!" "Has this bush always been here?" "LILLY:" "Oh!" "Watch this." "CYNTHIA:" "You know there's a gate, right?" "EMILY:" "WOW." "My first college party." "Yeah, well, this isn't just any college party." "This is a cappella only!" "Yeah." "So, get prepared to meet a lot of sexually confused men." "Bellas!" "Welcome, welcome, welcome!" "Jesse!" "Where is Beca?" "I thought she was gonna be with you tonight." "I thought she was with you." "Hey!" "Benji, right?" "(MUMBLING NONSENSICALLY)" "Those aren't..." "Okay, those aren't words." "I'm sorry?" "The movies?" "Are you asking me out?" "Yes." "Yeah?" "(CHUCKLING) Oh." "That's so sweet." "It's just, my..." "It's my first day." "Um..." "I wasn't really planning on rushing in on anything." "(COUGHING)" "(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)" "Hey!" "Oh." "Hey!" "You made it!" "Yeah, I couldn't miss our last Hood Night party." "Oh." "So?" "How was the internship?" "Eye-opening." "Yeah, they do not mess around." "Hey, Chloe asked where you were." "Why didn't you tell her?" "Oh." "She's just..." "She's locked into the Worlds right now and I'm looking for the right time." "I'll tell her." "Bumper's back!" "Whoo!" "Campus security!" "Bumper!" "Bumper!" "Fat Amy's back!" "'Cause I never left 'cause I'm still here." "Whoo!" "But I'm back, so it's a big deal because I've arrived again!" "You know, for someone who left school years ago, you're harder to shake than mono." "I've got some pretty big news." "What?" "I have been hand-plucked to be put on a waiting list to be put on a very well-known TV singing competition." "Really?" "Yep." "I know what you're thinking." ""Oh, Bumper."" ""You shut your face and kiss me, Bumper."" "No." ""Bumper, please, just shut your trap."" "That is not how I talk." "You talk exactly like this." "Do not." "Yes, you do." "I don't." "So shut up." "You shut up." "(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)" "Hi!" "Hi." "I am so excited to meet the woman who single-handedly created the Bella sound." "We're sisters!" "I can't believe we're sisters!" "Oh!" "Yeah, hi!" "Hi!" "Chloe texted me we added a Legacy." "I didn't even know that was a thing." "(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)" "Shh." "FLO:" "Remind me again why we are at a car show." "We're here for one reason and one reason only." "To scout the competition." "It's totally gonna help us win the Worlds if we know what we're up against." "(SIGHS ) All right." "Now, where are those tour thieves?" "Stacie!" "Keep it in your pants, maybe." "Stacie!" "What?" "CHLOE:" "What the..." "This all should have been ours!" "I hate these Germans." "FLO:" "Holy a-ca-mole!" "Okay, the cars moved." "Nothing else happened yet." "But they're moving backwards." "With ghosts driving them." "We are Das Sound Machine." "A German collective, operating in concert to create sonic mastery." "What better way to appreciate automotive perfection?" "(DAS SOUND MACHINE SINGING ALTERNATIVE ROCK SONG)" "(BEATBOXING)" "(SINGING)" "(VOCALIZING)" "(SINGING)" "(SCATTING HOUSE MUSIC)" "CYNTHIA:" "Man, they massive!" "How are we gonna compete with a group that size?" "STACIE:" "They're so freakin' in sync." "(CONTINUES SINGING ALTERNATIVE ROCK SONG)" "(SCATTING HOUSE MUSIC)" "(CONTINUES SINGING)" "(AUDIENCE CHEERING)" "FLO:" "Do we clap?" "Do we clap?" "Do we clap?" "Politely clap." "(SPEAKING GERMAN)" "Barden Bellas." "You came here to see us?" "Is it because you are..." "What do the American kids say, "Jelly"?" "We are so not "jelly."" "We should really thank you for making this tour a reality, you know, with your bumbling ineptitude." "We should send them something." "Fruit basket?" "Yum, yum." "Or would you prefer mini-muffins?" "Okay, we didn't come here to start something with you guys." "We just wanted to check you out before the Worlds, where we're gonna kick your ass." "What?" "That's right." "You'?" "You are the kicker of ass?" "(SCOFFS) Yeah." "You are so tiny." "Like an elf." "Or is it a fairy?" "Sprite?" "(SPEAKING GERMAN)" ""Troll."" "KOMMISSAR:" "That's it." "You are like a troll." "You are physically flawless." "Thank you." "But it doesn't mean I like you." "CHLOE:" "We are not scared about the Worlds, because when the Bellas hit the stage, we are gonna blow minds." "PIETER:" "With what?" "More of Flabby Abby's baby chute?" "That's not my name." "PIETER:" "I don't know your name." "Could be anything." "Obese Denise, inflexible Tina, Lazy Susan." "Mein name isn't Fat Amy, und I eat krauts like you for lunch." "Your team is like a..." "How do you say that?" "A heated mess." "You know, a mess where heat is applied to it, so what once was a little messy is now even messier." "Darlings, please take my advice." "Don't try to beat us." "You can't." "We're the best." "And now I really must go rest my neck." "It is sore from looking down on you." "BECA:" "Okay, just because you're making me very sexually confused, does not mean that you are intimidating." "We have nothing to lose." "We have literally nothing!" "Okay." "A-ca wiedersehen, bitches!" "Oh, what is happening?" "Lam using my hands so much." "CHLOE:" "All right, ladies, focus up." "We need to beat those German dummkopfs." "AMY:" "Yes!" "CYNTHIA:" "Yeah." "Okay, we're gonna beat DSM at their own game." "Do what they do, just better." "And we're about to do a full skills assessment to blow out our choreography to match." "But the important thing is that we have fun, right?" "Uh, Legacy, don't take this the wrong way, but you're the dumbest person alive." "(MUSIC PLAYING)" "And you're a cat!" "(GROWLS)" "CHLOE:" "And one..." "Okay, Lilly, that's really scaring me." "BECA:" "That just looks weird." "People are not birds." "(GIRLS EXCLAIM)" "CHLOE:" "Cartwheel." "And roll!" "Amy, that wasn't a roll." "Again." "Is it weird that we never got around to singing today?" "Uh, well, it's kind of hard to start singing without arrangements, and that's on me." "So thank you for reminding me." "Yeah, Bec, we're gonna need that ASAP so we can start nailing down our choreography." "Right on top of that, Chlo." "Awes!" "Yeah, awes." "So I just wanted to let you know that I've been working really hard on, you know, calming my nerves and keeping my eyes open." "I was wondering if you could give me some pointers, maybe." "And, you know, with the singing..." "I don't know exactly where you're gonna put me in the songs, but I..." "I don't mean to be rude." "I just have somewhere that I need to be." "Um..." "You did great today." "Thanks." "(CHORUS LINE SINGING)" "(SINGING CHRISTMAS CAROL)" "Wait, hold up." "Just hold up for a second." ""Wait, hold up"?" "Man, I sound awesome right now." "What are you talking about?" "Nah!" "It's not you, it's a tech thing." "So just you go ahead and take five." "It better be a tech thing, 'cause the way I sound in my eardrums, this is immaculate, man." "This song, there's nothing, nothing special about it yet." "Do you know what I mean?" "Any ideas?" "Because I..." "All right, um, hear me out." "Please, Dax." "Please..." "We could remove the sleigh bells and put in kalimba." "You know, the finger thing." "I know what a kalimba does." "I know how it's operated, okay?" "DAX:" "Kalimba..." "Don't say it again." "Go in the corner." "Go eat your lunch in the corner." "But what am I gonna do with my sriracha?" "Say one more hipster thing, and I'm gonna shove you in your vintage bassoon case." "Okay?" "Turn." "Aim higher, people." "Okay?" "And be very careful what you pitch to me next." "Um, just have him sing it again, the same way." "Who are you?" "Nobody." "Literally nobody." "I just had a thought." "No, okay, okay." "Sure." "Nobody else has an idea." "Let's, uh, do it exactly the same way." "Again." "Will do, nephew." "(CHORUS LINE SINGING)" "(SINGING CHRISTMAS CAROL)" "(SAMPLING BEATS)" "(SINGING CHRISTMAS CAROL)" "Or it can be something different." "It can..." "Okay. (SHUSHING)" "That was amazing, Snoop." "Thank you so very much." "You can take a small break, man." "Everything, perfection." "Perfection." "Groovy like a drive-in movie." "You can sing." "Um, yeah, I'm a three-time collegiate a cappella champion, so..." "We're both huge successes in our fields." "Yeah." "Yeah, let's say that." "Uh, what do you do here?" "I just get coffee and burritos and stuff." "I wanna produce music." "Dax?" "Can you do me a favor?" "Turn around right now, and watch this exchange." "That's "value added." Okay?" "If you have any demos you'd like me to listen to, I'll make the time." "Oh, seriously?" "Mmm-hmm." "Seriously, yeah." "Oh!" "Dax, did you see what happened there?" "Uh-huh." "She did something that was helpful." "And now I'm going to reward her by listening to her demos." "Turn back around." "Now!" "Turn around, please." "So, Snoop, uh, buddy, we've got an idea." "SNOOP:" "Me, too." "Water skis, but for dry land." "Real playa." "You know what I'm talking about?" "Brilliant." "(CHUCKLES) Fo shizzle, dizzle." "I'll write that down." "Yeah, please." "What am I looking at?" "(LAUGHING) We're pillow fighting!" "Aah!" "You know this sets women back, like, 30 years?" "We're just relieving some stress." "This was on the porch." "Ooh." "What is that?" "Looks fancy." "(MEN VOCALIZING)" "(VOCALIZING STOPS)" "(MEN VOCALIZING) (VOCALIZING STOPS)" "(MEN VOCALIZING)" "Looks like we've been invited to sing at some kind of a party." "We're going to sing?" "Finally!" "Well, there's just an address and a password." "How sexy and mysterious." "Yeah." "Like how all my teeth are from other people." "Ow!" "CHLOE:" "Anyone else scared?" "FLO:" "Not really." "I already lived longer than I expected." "HOST:" "Password." "Fart noise." "HOST:" "Did you not see the parentheses?" "(MAKING FART NOISE)" "Bellas!" "I'm so glad you all came." "Come on in." "Standing in front of you, ladies, happens to be the world's biggest a cappella fan." "We found you!" "Hello." "Here I am." "What can we do for you?" "So, last week when I was having a tinkle, it occurred to me..." "Do not, do not!" "Sorry." "That was rude." "You do not come to a gentleman's house and touch his goose." "So are we early, or..." "Actually, you're pretty late." "Come on, let's go!" "This is the big time." "(MUSIC PLAYING) (SCATTERED LAUGHTER)" "(CHLOE GASPS)" "Das Sound Machine, two o'clock." "Tiny Mouse!" "We meet again." "Another verbal beatdown." "Highlight of my day." "So, have you abandoned your foolish plans to face us at the Worlds?" "You wish, you gorgeous specimen." "She's really in my head." "KOMMISSAR:" "Very Well." "I'll be happy to send you there." "I'll mail you." "Large envelope costs nothing." "PIETER:" "Well, it will cost more than nothing." "But still cheaper than shipping, like, a horse, or perhaps an adult moose." "Did you ever think maybe you're too big?" "It would cost a fortune to mail you." "CHLOE:" "Easy." "You're enormous!" "CHLOE:" "Okay." "I think we should change her name to "Feisty Mouse."" "Yeah." "BECA:" "Just need to find, like, a taller pair of shoes." "Wasn't a big deal." "Hey!" "Hey!" "What are you doing here?" "What is going on?" "(GONG RINGING)" "HOST:" "Welcome!" "I guess I gotta go." "No." "Why?" "I don't know." "Welcome to the first ever showdown of the National A Cappella Laser Ninja Dragon League!" "(ALL CHEERING)" "Can you dig it?" "Okay, let's meet our teams." "First we have The Treblemakers!" "Yeah!" "Okay." "We have the Barden Bellas." "(CROWD CHEERING)" "We have the Tone Hangers!" "(SINGING) Sorbet Sorbet." "Sorbet Sorbet." "And a cherry on top." "And taking a break from their national tour," "Das Sound Machine!" "DSM!" "ALL:" "Ja!" "Ja!" "Ja!" "And the pride of Wisconsin, the Green Bay Packers!" "Let's go!" "Here we go, baby!" "Let's go!" "What?" "I'd like to be the brisket in that man-sandwich." "Well, here's how this is gonna work." "When I point to you, you sing a song from one of the categories that's gonna appear up there on the big board." "There's only one rule." "You have to meet the beat." "Here, come here." "(CLEARS THROAT)" "(BEATBOXING)" "But you have to do it "Follow the Leader" style." "(BEATBOXING)" "(MIMICS EXPLOSION)" "(ALL CHEERING) Oh, boy!" "Oh, goodness." "That was fun." "Now, if you can't carry the tune, the whole team's out." "As in, you gone!" "And then..." "Cornelius, this is too heavy." "I told you before." "Because I hurt my arm saluting the flag." "Okay, sorry." "Now, the winners will get epic bragging rights!" "What?" "That's it?" "HOST:" "Oh." "And I'm sorry." "Did I not mention this?" "A $42,000 gift card to Dave and Buster's!" "(ALL CHEERING)" "BUMPER:" "I was going there anyway." "I was going there anyway." "I know Clay Matthews wants it." "Okay." "All right, let's get this thing started." "Let's take a look at the first category." "Ooh." "Songs about butts." "Okay." "Anything on the radio, basically, right?" "Right." "HOST:" "Think about what you're gonna sing." "Let's start with Das Sound Machine!" "(BEATBOXING)" "(SINGING RB SONG)" "(SINGING FUNK SONG)" "(SINGING HIP-HOP SONG)" "(SINGING RB SONG)" "(SCATTING)" "(SINGING DIRTY RAP SONG)" "(SINGING) Girl, I love that butt." "But the butt's not what matters You know what does?" "Courtship and chivalry I'll take you to a nice hot meal." "And I'll tip the waiter." "HOST:" "Oh, my God, stop!" "Stop!" "What was that, yo?" "(ALL BOOING)" "Not how we play the game." "You think you're a better lyricist than Sir Mix-a-Lot, a man who was knighted by Queen?" "You know the band Queen?" "Yes." "No, sir, I do not." "I just..." "I couldn't help it." "I caught a glimpse of an angel." "I got inspired." "Well, you're going to hell." "Because, Treblemakers, you gone!" "(ALL CHEERING) You gone!" "Bye-bye. (MOUTHING) Sorry." "Sorry." "I'm sorry." "HOST:" "Four left." "Let's take a look at the next category!" "Oh." "Country love!" "Oh!" "Oh, oh!" "Lam all about this!" "Nobody in this room has loved more tender than I have." "Please pick us." "Let me have it." "Let us have it." "Let the world have it." "DONNY BARCLAY:" "Yeah!" "I would give it to him." "All right, then." "Well, why don't we start with you?" "Tone Hangers, you're up." "You're up." "CLAY MATTHEWS'." "What'?" "All right, I got this." "I got this." "I got this." "This is my jam!" "How about them Cowboys?" "(SINGING COUNTRY SONG)" "(SINGING COUNTRY POP SONG)" "Come on, man." "I got nothing." "Come on!" "God damn it!" "I got nothing, guys!" "DON NY BARCLAY;" "What?" "(ALL BOOING)" "I'm sorry." "DONNY BARCLAY:" "You blew it." "Man, you are such a dis-a-ca-pointment." "Reginald Wilson Moncrieff Matthews IV, what on God's green one are you doing?" "I had my mind on those 42 G's at D and B's." "I'm afraid you've kissed that goodbye." "No!" "Green Bay Packers..." "GREEN BAY PACKERS:" "No, no, no!" "You gone!" "GREEN BAY PACKERS:" "No!" "(ALL CHEERING)" "Let's see what the next category is!" "Oh." "Yes!" "Oh!" "Oh, I was his personal assistant!" "Unfair!" "WOMAN:" "Come on." "Yes, yep." "We got this." "Yeah, we got this." "Get in there." "Okay, then why don't we start with you, Das Sound Machine?" "(MAN BEATBOXING)" "(SCATTING)" "(SINGING POP SONG)" "(SINGING BUBBLEGUM POP SONG)" "(SINGING FUNK SONG)" "Is that John Mayer?" "(ALL BOOING) BUMPER:" "That doesn't deserve a "boo."" "I killed that!" "Explain for everyone, because it sounds like you're implying that John Mayer and Tina Turner are having..." "Oh, yeah." "Get them out!" "Get them out!" "I don't know if I believe him." "(STAMMERING) I'm telling the truth!" "HOST:" "Tone Hangers," "YOU gone!" "Two!" "We have our final two!" "Now we have a showdown!" "All right, come on in." "Let's do this face-off style." "Okay." "Let's take a look, see what your final category is." "(ALL TALKING AT ONCE) '90s hip-hop jams!" "Okay, y'all, take a second to think about it." "Time's up!" "Go!" "(BEATBOXING)" "(SINGING HIP-HOP SOUL SONG)" "(SINGING RB SONG)" "(SINGING HIP-HOP SOUL SONG)" "(SINGING ALTERNATIVE HIP-HOP some)" "(SINGING HIP-HOP SONG)" "I got all I need when I got you and I" "'Cause I look around me and see a sweet life." "I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight." "CHLOE:" "What?" "You're getting me, getting me through the night" "I'm sorry." "What '90s hip-hop jam is that again?" "Um..." "More like a 21st century jam." "That's it." "Yeah." "I wrote it." "Just stay calm." "You're saying it's an original?" "Yes, I'm saying it's an original." "Boo!" "(ALL BOOING)" "BUMPER:" "Go home, little girl!" "Our jam is covers!" "We spit on originals!" "What is your name?" "Emily." "I hate you." "In light of this embarrassing and unprofessional information, lam forced to declare..." "I'm sorry, guys" "Das Sound Machine is the winner!" "DAS SOUND MACHINE:" "Yeah!" "Whoo!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Oh." "(SINGING DANCE-POP SONG)" "Hey, did you really write that?" "You shouldn't have done that, Emily." "Now DSM thinks that they have the drop on us." "I'm sorry." "I panicked." "I understand if you want me to crawl under a rock and die." "Hey, we don't want..." "Hey, we don't want that." "JESSE:" "Hey, Bec's, let's go meet the Green Bay Packers." "Okay." "Whew." "Boo!" "(LAUGHING)" "I'm just kidding." "Would you like to have sex later?" "No!" "So that's a "no," then?" "Because with the wink, and that's what..." "It's 100% no!" "I want it!" "Give me!" "Dax." "I swear, if this kid was not my nephew..." "Hey, I know you're crazy busy, but have you had a chance to check out those demos?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah, I did." "This dead air between us is a good sign." "(SIGHS) Look, you got a great ear, you proved that in the booth, and I was super excited to hear what else you had and what you gave me was more mash-ups." "That's sort of what I do." "Listen, Reggie." "Is it "Reggie"?" ""Beca."" "Um, that happens a lot, though." "You'd be surprised." "Okay." "Here's the thing." "Um, any kid with ears and a laptop can do that." "Dax can do that." "All right?" "Right." "So that's fine if you want a career deejaying raves out in the desert." "But if you want to write "music producer" on your tax forms someday, then you've gotta have an original voice." "Do you understand?" "You've gotta show me what you have." "Right now, what I have is a demo with mash-ups on it." "Yeah, yeah." "I got lots of stuff to say." "I'm just saving it all up." "Look"." "Uh..." "What is it? "Beca"?" "Beca." "Okay, yeah." "So, you're an intern, and everybody else in here is an intern." "You're talented, everybody else in here is talented." "So what the hell makes you special?" "Do you know what I mean?" "That's good." "So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna give you one more shot to show me who you are as an artist." "Okay?" "Do not waste it." "No, sir, will not waste it." "(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)" "I really hope you don't, for your sake." "'Cause I would hate to think that singing covers in an a cappella group is all you can do." "Please replace the paper towels." "(PIANO NOTE PLAYING)" "JESSE: (ON RECORDING) Hey, it's Jesse." "Text me." "Hey, it's me." "Um..." "Hey, so you might not be able to hear this message, because, it turns out, I have nothing to say." "Um..." "That's music industry speak for "I suck."" "You're definitely asleep right now." "That's cool." "Text me when you're up." "Hey" "What?" "A girl can't say she's going to grab a smoothie and return 14 hours later?" "There's nothing suspicious about that." "Why are you up so late anyways?" "Um, I was just figuring some stuff out." "You're working on the set?" "Um..." "I'm not working on the set." "I'm just, like..." "What?" "Nothing." "Doesn't matter." "(PIANO NOTE PLAYING)" "If you did wanna share something with me, your best friend," "I'm a great keeper of secrets." "I'm like a safe that locks, with a key, and the key is stashed up my bum." "Because..." "It's fine." "Forget it." "It's all good." "So this has nothing to do with that internship that you sneak off to?" "What?" "Um..." "Come on, Beca." "You know how we do that thing every month where I take $20 out of your purse and you pretend not to notice?" "I saw your ID badge in your bag." "Don't be mad." "(STAMMERING) I'm not mad, actually." "About the badge." "The money, I wanna come back to." "Shh." "Let's just focus on your lie." "Beca, why didn't you tell us?" "Or at least Chloe." "I don't know." "Just..." "'Cause it's just easier." "There's, like, so much going on, and Chloe would lose her mind if she thought my sole focus wasn't winning Worlds." "Sorry, it's just now I'm freaking out, because it turns out, like, I'm totally not good enough to be a music producer." "Which is cool and fun to know as I enter the rest of my life." "Okay, I'm just gonna stop you right there." "You're the most talented person that I know, and I've met three of The Wiggles." "Intimately." "Oh." "Beca, do you know how awesome you are?" "You're Beca effing Mitchell." "Okay?" "You're "The Big B.M."" "That's you." "And you're awesome!" "Do you need some of my confidence?" "'Cause I could maybe tone mine down a notch." "Yeah, okay." "Then let me rub some out." "Oh, okay." "Wait." "Think you need a bit more." "It comes from there?" "Okay." "Thank you." "You just need that." "I'm gonna get you the good stuff now." "No, I don't want butt confidence." "I don't want your butt confidence!" "No!" "I have enough!" "(SCREAMING) I have enough!" "I have enough!" "(MUMBLING)" "(IN SQUEAKY VOICE) I believe in you, Beca." "(MUSIC PLAYING)" "Come on." "Whoa." "Candles, cloth napkins, foods other than salsa." "Yep." "This is a little classier than our typical hook-ups." "Is it?" "Huh." "I have a patisserie, some charcuterie, and a huge bowl of exotic capers." "I didn't know what those were, but they're like salty peas." "So," "I don't know if you've seen the news lately, but there's a war." "And also, the economy is dipping and ebbing and flowing." "Bumper, what's going on?" "Now you're kind of creeping me out." "Okay, I guess I'll just lay it all out there." "The reason that I brought you here tonight was because I was thinking that maybe, perhaps, if you're interested..." "This is harder than I thought it was gonna be." "I wanna date you." "That's what I want." "Like for real." "Like a real couple." "(BOTH LAUGHING)" "Where we, like, go out in public and hold hands and ride bikes together." "Or we, like, go to an orchard and pick apples." "Or we, like, do one of those, like," "Build-A-Bear Workshops together, and we build bears, and you name one "Bumper" and I'll name one "Fat Amy,"" "and yours will be bigger than mine and it'll be cute, and we can put them on our bed that we share." "What do you say?" "No." "I don't..." "I don't do that." "Yeah, that's cool." "It was a..." "Cool." "It was a stupid idea anyways." "Yeah." "Obviously, we shouldn't do that." "We should just go back to how things used to be and just go at it on top of all this expensive food that I bought." "Are you crying?" "Nope." "No, I'm not." "Bumper!" "Come on, you can't be serious." "I can't be tied down by anything." "I'm on a Walkabout." "I'm a free-range pony that can't be tamed." "(MIMICKING HORSE TROTTING)" "(MIMICS NEIGHING)" "You know." "Okay." "I'm like a firework." "(MIMICS EXPLOSIONS)" "I can't be tied down." "Okay." "Then that's it." "Then I guess that's it, right?" "Because I'm not gonna keep going on like this." "Well..." "Fine." "Fine, if that's how you feel, then I think we're done." "I think it's over." "That's it?" "That's it, then." "So it's over, then." "Fine." "Then it's over." "Fine, then." "BUMPER;" "No!" "Too late." "You're too late!" "I figured when we didn't do the serenade, the back-up plan should be to play her off." "BUMPER:" "Turn around." "Go back." "I don't wanna hear another peep!" "(SINGING) Trebles for life." "BUMPER:" "Benji!" "I'm sorry." "EMILY:" "Hey, guys, it's my first performance." "CHLOE:" "Calm down." "It's just a chance for us to rehearse for Worlds." "As far as I can tell, it's just for a bunch of old people." "(VOCALIZING)" "(BEATBOXING IN GRUFF VOICE)" "There's a full house out there." "How did we get this gig again?" "They called us." "You know what, guys?" "I know we're trying a lot of new stuff, but I feel like we're gonna get out there and we're gonna feel the energy and we are just gonna nail all of it!" "Sorry, these braids are so tight." "You know what?" "I don't know." "I don't know." "I have many, many doubts, because if we fail this, then we won't win the Worlds, and if we don't win the Worlds, there will be no more Bellas, and without the Bellas," "then my life would have had no..." ""Malaria."" ""Meaning," Flo." "Three, two..." "Hey, everybody." "Welcome backtoLet'sTalk-Appella, the portable podcast edition." "We are following the story of the embattled Barden Bellas on their road to redemption." "Trying to crawl their way back into the public's affection." "And if they can just hold off showing us any more of their genitalia, they may make it to the World Championship." "Well, I can't un-see it." "It's haunted me ever since." "Well, there's a picture of it right here." "No." "This should not be your screensaver, John." "JOHN:" "Stepping onto the stage, the Barden Bellas." "(BELLAS HUMMING)" "(SINGING ELECTROPOP SONG)" "Whoa!" "All right!" "This is some exciting stuff." "GAIL:" "So sassy!" "(SINGING TECHNOPOP SONG)" "JOHN:" "Wow." "A lot going on up there." "I think this sounds good." "Honestly, my senses are overwhelmed here, John." "JOHN:" "They might wanna tone down the theatrics." "Let's hope there are no props." "GAIL:" "Oh, they brought the props out, John." "JOHN:" "And there are the props." "This is more of a circus act than an a cappella performance." "Gail, it's as if the Barden Bellas just don't know who they are anymore." "(CONTINUES SINGING)" "LILLY:" "Whoa!" "GAIL:" "Look at this!" "She's on fire!" "She's on fire!" "CYNTHIA:" "Oh, my God!" "I'm on fire!" "JOHN:" "Now they lit one on fire." "Good day!" "Good heavens!" "(GASPS) Oh." "FLO:" "Incoming!" "CYNTHIA:" "Oh, my God, I can't breathe!" "I can't breathe, girl!" "Fat Amy, I can't breathe!" "GAIL:" "Beating DSM seems impossible for this team." "Even these common people can see that the Barden Bellas have no shot at reinstatement." "They are an embarrassment to a cappella and all that it stands for." "This is what happens when you send girls to college." "Is it?" "Is that for a class?" "No, it's just when I get stressed, words sort of flow right out of me and I try and channel them in my songwriting..." "Are we just gonna ignore what happened back there?" "Guys, hello?" "The Worlds are right around the corner and you guys are acting like we didn't just eat a big bag of..." "Ahhh!" "Why are you yelling at me?" "I almost burned to death because of you a-ca-bitches." "If you almost died, it was only because you were standing in the wrong spot." "No!" "Flo flipped into me!" "Sure." "Blame the minority." "I'm black, gay, and a woman." "I'm not pointing the finger at anybody." "It was Legacy's fault." "Me?" "Wait, I didn't..." "Obviously, we're not gonna beat Das Sound Machine at their game." "So we need a new plan." "Like, now." "At times like these, there's only one thing for us to do." "Fake your own death and flee the country." "CHLOE:" "Close." "We're going on a retreat." "KATHERINE:" "Look, I think the retreat will be a good thing." "You girls need to bond heading into Worlds." "It'll be so much fun." "I don't know." "No, Mom, it's bad." "It's..." "The girls are yelling at each other." "Oh, big deal." "I remember putting your godmother," "Maggie Pistol, in a choke hold, because she insisted that George Michael was gay." "Who?" "Oh." "I'm just worried that my entire Bella career will be that one terrible performance." "And I'll never get to solo at Lincoln Center, you know?" "But you're gonna get to go to Europe." "That would have been the highlight of my college career." "And you girls can win it." "You have to win it." "You just made being a Bella sound so amazing." "And it is amazing." "It's a sisterhood that is gonna support you for the rest of your life." "I know you're not feeling it, but you will." "This won't be the end of the Bellas." "Hey, Benji." "Emily!" "Listen, I think you're missing a word here." "What's that?" "Oh, God." "No." "That's not..." "That isn't what I meant." "I just..." "EMILY:" "I didn't think so." "That's really embarrassing." "No, it looks..." "Syntax is usually my forte, so I don't know how that happened." "Well, it looks great." "Thank you." "That's really sweet..." "Um..." "When my hands aren't covered in glitter paint, do you think maybe we could try that again?" "Yeah." "Sure." "All right." "Okay." "Well... (STAMMERING) I'll look forward to that." "Just, you know, let me know when they're clean." "That's"." "I will." "All right." "You bet." "Okay." "All right." "Have a good one." "CHLOE:" "Okay, girls!" "Everyone, in the bus." "Go, go, go!" "CHLOE:" "Let's go." "FLO:" "Okay." "CHLOE:" "Seatbelts!" "(HONKING HORN)" "EMILY:" "Good luck, Benji!" "This place is sweet!" "It's nice, right?" "I need to find somewhere to charge my laptop." "How'd you hear about this place?" "From yours truly." "Hello, Bellas." "ALL:" "Aubrey!" "AMY:" "Aubrey!" "FLO:" "Aubrey!" "Okay, girls." "Oh, wow." "Hi!" "You must be Emily." "EMILY:" "Hey, hey." "Hey." "Hi." "Welcome to The Lodge at Fallen Leaves, where Fortune 500 companies send their employees to build teamwork skills." "You run this whole place?" "You know, I realized I had a knack for barking orders and bending people's will." "So I made a career out of it." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "Which reminds me, fall in line, Bellas!" "CYNTHIA:" "She ain't changed." "No slouching!" "No straggling!" "I see you, Jessica." "It is with great sorrow and regret that I had to watch our once proud organization become a national disgrace!" "Can I have the keys to the minibar?" "Zip it." "The Worlds signifies a shot at redemption." "You don't have a chance at winning until you find your sound again." "You have totally lost your harmony!" "So, for the next two days, you will be doing everything together until you regain it." "Ladies, get ready to be transformed." "You are surrounded with the strength of your fellow Bellas and the support of a proud female tradition." "And a few dozen bear traps." "So don't stray too far from the marked paths." "Okay, great, let's go!" "EMILY:" "All right." "Well, maybe I'll just start with a hot shower, maybe a little foot rub." "Fat Amy, there are no guest rooms for you." "Then where are we staying?" "I don't understand camping." "We're voluntarily living like dogs." "BECA:" "This is the worst." "The air we're breathing right now is at least 90% fart." "That reminds me," "I need to see a man about a horse." "Oh!" "Did anyone happen to pack a spare roll of toilet paper?" "Or a moist towelette?" "CHLOE:" "Nope." "Anyone have a T-shirt, size extra-small?" "Okay." "Side of the tent it is." "(WHISPERING) What are we doing here?" "We're bonding." "You seem so tense." "Do you need a back rub?" "Several body parts are rubbing my back right now, thank you." "You know, Beca, we're very close, but I feel like this retreat is really gonna let us discover everything about each other." "Is that right?" "You know, one of my biggest regrets is that I didn't do enough experimenting in college." "You're so weird." "Thanks." "I wanna go home." "I hope the sun never comes up." "(GASPS)" "Why do I get the travel pillow?" "Were you touching my goodies?" "Yes." "AMY:" "Oh, guys, I've got a little..." "it won't..." "I just need some help getting it out." "Can you sing something?" "The pipe's a bit blocked." "(SINGING POP ROCK SONG)" "AMY:" "Thanks, Chloe." "(ALL SINGING)" "What kind Of White shit is this?" "AMY:" "Coming out like froyo now." "(WHISTLE BLOWING)" "Up and at 'em, Bellas!" "Come on!" "Let's go!" "Let's go!" "Let's wake up!" "Let's do this!" "Come on!" "Pick up the pace, girls!" "Come on!" "Today we are going back to the basics to re-learn how to sing as a group, while also enduring death-defying team-building trust exercises." "What a great idea!" "AUBREY:" "Okay, so let's begin." "(SINGING BOOGIE-WOOGIE SONG)" "Come on." "(ALL SINGING)" "(SINGING RB SONG)" "AUBREY:" "Trust your team!" "EMILY:" "Careful, Fat Amy!" "AMY:" "Turn me over!" "Come on, lunch!" "(SINGING SOUL SONG)" "AMY:" "She says she's Asian Jesus." "(SINGING RB SONG)" "(SCATTING)" "(VOCALIZING)" "(ALL SINGING)" "Great." "Okay, that was two steps away from being almost fine." "Sorry, what are we doing?" "We're rediscovering our sound." "BECA:" "Are we?" "'Cause it feels like we're just singing songs that would never go in our set." "CHLOE:" "Beca, come on." "No, none of us know how to beat Das Sound Machine, but I know it's not gonna be by doing this." "This is just an exercise in finding harmony, Beca." "Sometimes you have to break things down before you can build them back up again." "I've got more important things to do!" "What could be more important than this?" "Nothing." "Forget it." "No, you don't think that we haven't all realized you've been a little checked-out lately?" "Come on, Beca, just tell her." "CHLOE:" "I heard that." "Tell me what?" "Oh, you misunderstood me." "I clearly said... (MUMBLING NONSENSICALLY)" "Listen, I don't want you guys to fight." "You're Beca and Chloe." "Together you're "Bloe."" "And everyone loves a good bloe." "So..." "Okay." "I've been interning at a recording studio and a legit music producer wants to hear my work." "God forbid I have something going on outside this group." "Okay." "So why would you keep something like that from us?" "'Cause you're obsessed!" "You all are." "We're graduating, and the only person thinking about life after the Bellas is me." "What is so wrong with being focused on the Bellas?" "This has been my family for seven years." "Yeah, 'cause you're too scared to leave!" "Sack up, dude!" "Girl fight!" "Okay, so you've been lying to us for the entire year and now you're just gonna flake out?" "Now you're gonna flake out when the Worlds is, like, right after graduation?" "Oh, my God!" "Enough about the Worlds!" "I..." "I'm out of here." "Oh, okay, you're just gonna leave now?" "BECA:" "We all have to, eventually, Chloe!" "It might as well be now!" "Wait, Beca..." "If you all knew what was good for you, you'd follow me." "Beca, the sign!" "(BECA SCREAMING)" "BECA:" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, no, Beca!" "Beca!" "BECA:" "What the hell?" "I'm stuck!" "I'm stuck!" "I'm seeing spots!" "I'm seeing spots!" "CHLOE:" "Well, Well, Well." "Look who needs our help." "BECA:" "Not cool, guys!" "No, what's not cool is you taking out your frustrations on us!" "Really?" "That's what you're gonna say to me right now?" "Help me!" "I'm dying!" "I'm dying!" "(SCREAMS) (ALL GASP)" "We need to get her down!" "We need a ladder!" "No, we don't believe in ladders." "BECA:" "What?" "They suggest a corporate hierarchy that is counter-productive to my team-building program." "What kind of operation are you running here?" "Seriously, this whole place is, like, full of booby traps!" "And guess what?" "Boobs should never be trapped!" "Unless it's for support if you have lower back issues." "Okay!" "If I'm about to die, I'm sorry!" "I didn't mean any of that stuff I said!" "I love all of you!" "I love all of you awesome nerds, and I love being a Bella." "I'm just so stressed out right now... (SCREAMS)" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my gosh!" "Jessica and Ashley, I don't actually know which one of you is which." "I'm Jessica!" "I'm Jessica!" "CHLOE:" "Don't worry, we're gonna get you down!" "Focus up." "Get in formation, we can do this." "Flo, get up." "Okay." "Fat Amy, come on!" "AMY:" "Yes!" "Let's focus." "Work together as a team." "Don't worry, Beca, we got... (ALL SCREAMING)" "FLO:" "She's alive. (PANTING)" "I sleep upside down like a bat." "BECA:" "It's just everything's changing so fast and I'm putting all this pressure on myself, you know?" "I don't wanna fail." "But if you just would have said something..." "Yeah, I know." "But I'm weird about that stuff." "I thought I could figure it out on my own, and I can't." "Maybe I don't have anything original to say." "I wish I could do what you do." "Well, I feel the same way about you." "You're so good, it's intimidating." "All I've ever wanted is to be one of you." "Not a Legacy, but a Bella." "You are a real Bella." "CYNTHIA:" "Of course you're a Bella." "You are one of us." "You paid the registration fee." "That's for life, dude." "Do you wanna collaborate on something?" "(CHUCKLES)" "Wait." "Are you being serious?" "Yeah." "Yeah!" "Wow!" "Man!" "Yes!" "Who else feels like a winner tonight?" "(ALL CHEERING)" "I know it doesn't seem like it, but I'm afraid, too." "To move on, to graduate." "It's really scary." "Yeah, it actually does seem like it, because you're barely holding it together." "Well, it doesn't have to be scary, Chloe." "When I was graduating, I never pictured myself running a retreat in the middle of the woods, but here I am." "Take it from someone who has dealt with some serious control issues." "Like my dad always said, in the minefield of life, you must be prepared to lose both feet." "(CLICKS TONGUE)" "And I think you all know what I mean." "I don't." "Then it's decided." "This year I will graduate." "The Worlds will be my swan song." "I mean it." "I'll pursue my passion." "I'll teach underprivileged children how to sing, or I'll dance exotically." "Whatever offers the most money." "CYNTHIA:" "Yo, check this out." "I'm moving to Maine to get hitched." "And all y'all can come." "Everybody's invited." "Yes, yes, yes." "Okay, okay, guys." "Stop asking." "I'll tell you." "So, after I graduate there's a chance I will be deported." "I will try to re-enter this country, but I will probably die at sea." "So, let's live for tonight!" "Yes!" "Yeah!" "(ALL CHEERING)" "STACIE:" "Yes!" "EMILY:" "All right." "Lilly, any plans?" "Just gonna travel through time." "You know, when I look back on this," "I won't remember performing and competing." "I'm gonna remember you weirdos." "It makes me really sad to think it won't ever be like this again." "I'm gonna miss you guys." "Me, too." "Me, too." "Yeah." "Me, too." "(SINGING FOLK-POP SONG)" "Did we just find our sound?" "I think We did." "My work here is done." "Thank you." "Fat Amy, you never told us what you were gonna do after graduation." "AMY:" "Oh." "Well..." "Mmm." "No, I don't have any plans." "'Cause you guys know me, I just love living in the moment." "Ashley, what are you gonna do after..." "Actually, though, if we were to stop and really think," ""What could Fat Amy be capable of in the future?"" "I'll tell you guys." "I'd be living somewhere, like, sick, like Tulsa or Little Rock." "By day, I'm a professional jelly wrestler for corporate events." "And then, every night, it's just me cuddled up with my fiancé, Bumper, and..." "Oh, wait." "I'm in love with Bumper." "Mmm-hmm." "Yeah." "Okay, I've done something terrible, and I'm not talking about crop-dusting Chloe and Beca right now." "Apologize for that." "You guys, I need to go right now." "And I need to win back my man!" "Screw your judgments!" "(ALL ENCOURAGING)" "Go get him, Fat Amy!" "(SCREAMING)" "AMY:" "Guys, what happened?" "Shake it off, Amy." "CYNTHIA:" "That was bad." "AMY:" "Somebody bring a s'more." "BENJI:" "I give you our next album cover." "Look at him!" "I did it all myself today." "Now, I know that I only have one vote..." "BENJI:" "You got no votes, man." "You're not in the group, so..." "Okay, well, that hurts my feelings." "It's just the truth, is the thing." "Well, that hurts my feelings." "With my vote, I vote "no" to the pig and "yes" to this gloriousness." "BENJI:" "Yeah, it's great." "We'll put it to a vote later." "No." "AMY:" "Bumper, I'm coming!" "(SINGING SOFT ROCK SONG)" "Nope!" "Turn it around!" "(CONTINUES SINGING)" "I don't wanna see you!" "(AMY CONTINUES SINGING)" "Whew." "Really misjudged the size of this lake." "Why didn't she just walk around the lake?" "Fat Amy doesn't do anything small." "Yes, I've been using my shower shoes." "Okay, I love you, too." "Here she is." "What up, Mrs. Junk?" "(CONTINUES SINGING)" "(PANTING)" "(CONTINUES SINGING)" "(HONKING HORN)" "Go!" "Well, what are you doing?" "I'm soloing, here!" "(HONKING HORN) Whatever!" "(CONTINUES SINGING)" "No!" "(CONTINUES SINGING)" "(CONTINUES SINGING SOFT ROCK some)" "(BOTH SINGING)" "Well, all right." "All right, let's go." "Into the house." "AMY:" "Give me that neck." "I mean, we can do..." "Do you want it..." "Do you feel like you'd want to layer a bunch of voices?" "I think in the beginning it could definitely build." "I think it starts out light, though." "Get your cute butt in the studio, then." "Don't tell my boss that we were in here, by the way." "(SINGING) I got all I need when I got you and I" "'Cause I look around me and see a sweet life." "This is..." "Wow!" "It's the real deal." "Yeah, don't touch anything, Legacy." "You're very pretty, but you seem clumsy." "Great." "Okay." "Can't lie it's a sweet life" "(INAUDIBLE)" "I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight." "You're getting me Getting me through the night" "(MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKER)" "You're my flashlight." "You're my flashlight." "You're my flashlight." "Okay, so you produced this?" "Uh, yes." "Emily wrote it." "Mmm-hmm." "Who's Emily?" "Lam." "This tall drink of water, right there." "Hey." "Emily." "Well..." "Um...(MUMBLING)" "I don't..." "I don't..." "I don't like it." "What it is, is I don't like it when people can do what I can do." "You know, in a manner of speaking, it's threatening." "But, you just did it." "And I have a... (MUMBLING)" "I have a few notes that I assume that you're open to." "Yes." "Um, but this is a solid demo, with real potential." "Yeah, I look forward to working together." "It's nice to meet you." "What is it?" "Elizabeth?" "Emily." "Emily." "Elizabeth?" "What?" "Emily." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Oh." "I gotta jump on a call." "Yeah, no." "No, get it in there." "Get it in there." "Attagirl." "You want one of these?" "Oh, hey." "You want one of those?" "There you go." "Attagirl." "Ow!" "Good job, Reggie." "(WHISPERING) I'm Reggie." "Oh, my God, I was so nervous I didn't know what to say!" "Oh, my God!" "You're all sweaty." "We're gonna be late!" "We're taking the photo with or without you." "We're taking the photo with or without you!" "EMILY:" "Everybody get together." "No, no, no, together." "ALL:" "One, two, three!" "Bellas for life!" "(MUSIC PLAYING)" "Okay." "So, is there a restaurant in this town that serves something other than fish?" "I did see a KFC back there." "Nope." "All fish." "I checked." "Guys, over here." "Come this way." "BECA:" "Oh, Chloe, I'm coming for ya!" "CHLOE:" "Whoo-hoo." "College graduates!" "Spreading my wings, y'all!" "There are so many fresh Danishes here." "I swear, if I wasn't recently locked down," "I would tear a hole through this city!" "This place is so smelly and rainy." "Why do Americans ever leave America?" "AMY:" "Culture, design, history." "FLO:" "I'm not copen-hating this place." "BECA:" "I'm starving." "EMILY:" "Yeah, why don't we go visit Hayden Christian Andersen's house?" "AMY:" "That guy?" "But he was pretty crap in the Star Wars prequels." "(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)" "Well, here we are." "Do you think the stage is big enough for what we want to do?" "FLO:" "You're kidding, right?" "It's huge." "You guys think it'll work?" "It'll work for us." "That's what matters." "Let's go!" "FLO:" "Let's do this thing!" "AMY;" "Whoo!" "CHLOE:" "Everyone knows where to meet, right?" "CYNTHIA:" "Yeah, we know." "BECA:" "All right." "Safety first, Flo." "(SPEAKING GERMAN)" "(SPEAKING FRENCH)" "(SPEAKING SPANISH)" "Here it is, folks." "The granddaddy of them all." "The World Championship of A Cappella!" "Tonight, groups from around the globe duke it out for the title of A-ca World Champion." "And, of course, representing America, the embattled Barden Bellas." "The Bellas, making one last attempt to repair a damaged legacy by becoming the first American team to claim the title." "Can they do it, John?" "Theoretically, yes, Gail." "Realistically, absolutely not." "Those girls are dead to me." "So many countries represented here tonight, John." "We saw in rehearsal an incredible group from the Philippines." "What were they called?" ""The Ladyboys."" "That wasn't the name of the group, I don't think." "I think that's how they described themselves." "That's right." "They're "Manila Envy."" "Manila Envy." "You know, I spent some time with some ladyboys, uh, in the Philippines myself." "Not surprising." "Very interesting young men." "Doing amazing things with their mouths, I presume." "When we go back to the stage, I'll do a few for you here." "Uh, you know, we can get to it, I think." "Okay." "You know, maybe when the Koreans are out there, because no one cares about the Korean group." "Love that barbeque." "What are you doing here?" "Oh, you..." "You know, anything to support the Bellas." "Wow." "I..." "Now I'm the one who can't speak." "I'm just so freaking nervous." "Oh, my God." "Don't be." "You'll be great." "I mean, we heard you guys rehearsing, like, 24/7." "So I'll..." "I should probably go find my seat." "Yeah." "But before I go, I just..." "I have something for you." "Oh..." "I'm so sorry." "I thought that that was going in a different direction." "That's my bad." "EMILY:" "No, no, I liked it." "Em." "You ready?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I'll be right there." "Benji." "Okay." "Well, break a leg." "(SINGING POP SONG)" "(SINGING IN SPANISH)" "(SCATTING)" "(SINGING IN ENGLISH)" "(SINGING IN HINDI)" "(SINGING IN ENGLISH)" "ALL:" "DSM!" "Ja!" "DSM!" "Ja!" "DSM!" "Ja!" "DSM!" "Ja!" "(TEAM SINGING IN HINDI)" "DSM!" "Ja!" "DSM!" "Ja!" "DSM!" "Ja!" "(CROWD CHEERING)" "GAIL:" "Ooh!" "JOHN:" "Well done!" "There they go, the Indian group, the Naan-Stops, running off stage to take a few more of our jobs." "I thought the little one was spicy!" "(JOHN LAUGHS)" "ALL:" "DSM!" "Ja!" "DSM!" "Ja!" "JOHN:" "And coming up next, Das Sound Machine." "GAIL:" "A crowd favorite, John." "ALL:" "DSM!" "Ja!" "DSM!" "Ja!" "DSM!" "Ja!" "KOMMISSAR:" "Hear that?" "They chant." "For us." "Now, don't cry too hard when you lose, huh?" "Makes eyes puffy." "Your hands are so soft." "I'm sorry, I don't speak "loser." What did you say?" "She actually speaks eight languages, but "loser" is not one of them." "Everything must come to an end." "Even the Bellas." "PIETER:" "Take care and lose nice." "Huh, your sweat smells like cinnamon." "Damn it!" "(ALL CHEERING) (INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT OVER PA IN DANISH)" "FEMALE ANNOUNCER:" "...Das Sound Machine!" "(DAS SOUND MACHINE VOCALIZING)" "(BEATBOXING)" "DSM!" "(SINGING POP-ROCK SONG)" "(RAPPING)" "(VOCALIZING)" "(SINGING POP SONG)" "GAIL:" "They've got the crowd going wild!" "BECA:" "Okay, shake it off." "BOTH:" "DSM!" "DSM!" "Das Sound Machine." "An incredible performance once again from the German group." "I'm telling you, Gail, though, if the Bellas of old show up tonight, this could be the most significant conflict between America and Germany in history." "Crack a book, John." "Pass one down to your friends." "Here you go." "Thank you." "All right, here you go, buddy." "Thanks, man." "Where have you been?" "You have no idea, dude." "Final performance, guys." "We need to get out there and beat DSM." "This one's for us." "Guys, there's gonna be some haters out there." "They're gonna look at us, Team USA, and be like, "Why is the most talented one Australian?"" "Well, guess what." "Lam fat." "So that is close enough." "We are gonna show them who we are." "A bunch of ethnically diverse, for the most part feminine, amazing singers!" "ALL:" "Yeah!" "Let's just go out there and ac' the world!" "CHLOE:" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Yeah!" "John, it's possible we are watching the last hurrah of the Barden Bellas." "It's going to be very hard to pull this off, and if they don't, they are out of business as an a cappella group." "It is over." "AMY:" "All right!" "Let's do this!" "FEMALE ANNOUNCER:" "...Barden University's Bellas!" "Yes!" "Whoo!" "That's my girl!" "Beca!" "(BECA CLAPPING)" "(SINGING HIP-HOP SONG)" "(SINGING POP SONG)" "(S I N G I N G) When tomorrow comes." "I'll be on my own." "Feeling frightened of The things that I don't know." "When tomorrow comes." "And though the road is long I look up to the sky." "GAIL:" "Is it possible the Barden Bellas are doing an original song?" "(ALL SINGING) Then I sing along." "Then I sing along." "I got all I need when I got you and I" "'Cause I look around me and see your sweet life." "I'm stuck in the darkness You're my flashlight." "You're gettin' me gettin' me through the night." "You kick start my heart when you shine it in my eyes." "I can't lie." "It's a sweet life." "I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight." "You're gettin' me through the night." "GAIL:" "Look at this!" "JOHN:" "It looks like the Barden Bellas are being joined on stage by generations of Bellas, going all the way back to the beginning." "'Cause you're my flashlight." "You're my flashlight." "You're gettin' me through the night." "I got all I need when I got you and I" "'Cause I look around me and see your sweet life." "I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight." "You're getting me through the night." "Kick start my heart when you shine it in my eyes." "I can't lie It's a sweet life." "I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight." "You're gettin' me through the night." "We belong" "'Cause you're my flashlight" "'Cause you are" "'Cause you're my flashlight." "I'm your flashlight." "You're gettin' me through the night" "'Cause you're my flashlight" "'Cause you're my." "Gettin' me through the." "Night" "(CROWD CHEERING)" "Whoo!" "JOHN: "Simple," "raw," "vulnerable," "exposed."" "I've been called a lot of things, Gail." "But let me add one more." "I'm impressed." "I thought you were gonna say "gay."" "BENJI:" "Emily!" "Yeah!" "Emily!" "Emily!" "Emily!" "Whoo!" "Whoo!" "Bellas!" "Bellas!" "Bellas!" "ALL: (CHANTING) Bellas!" "Bellas!" "Bellas!" "Oh." "They have touched every person here." "They've touched me, John." "Well, everyone has touched you, Gail, but this is something else." "It's ceremonial, and you should definitely not drink it 'cause it is essentially poison." "Terrible for you." "Okay." "Okay." "Great." "Ooh." "It smells like cherries and vanilla." "CHLOE:" "Okay, repeat after me." "Sing your name." "I... (SINGING) Emily..." "Okay." ""Promise to uphold the ideals of a Bella woman forever."" "Promise to uphold the ideals of a Bella woman forever." "And that's it." "That's the end of the speech." "Nothing weird happens after that." "These are for you." "Don't go in the basement, it's haunted." "AMY:" "Wait!" "One last thing." "Yes, every Bella must christen the house by sliding down the staircase." "Seriously?" "It's tradition." "Yeah." "Don't worry." "I'll show you." "Behold!" "(AMY GROANING)" "(PANTING)" "Crushed it." "Good form." "Now I'm ready to move on." "Legacy, you're up." "EMILY:" "All right, I'm ready." "Let's do this!" "(PIANO PLAYING)" "(SINGING SLOW POP SONG)" "Yes!" "(CONTINUES SINGING)" "You can't!" "You can't turn back around." "That's not part of the rules!" "That's not... (MOUTHING) That bad?" "Thank you so much, Pharrell." "Adam, turn around!" "Everybody's doing it, baby!" "They love me!" "America loves me!" "(CONTINUES SINGING)" "And I give myself to you!" "And you!" "And you!" "And you!" "And you, America!" "Whoo!" "Hey, man." "BUMPER:" "Yes." "Yes, Blake." "What's your name, brother?" "I don't even know right now!" "Hey, just do me a favor, man." "Please, under no circumstances, choose me for your coach." "I just want to put that out there." "CHRISTINA AGUILERA:" "Okay." "So, you have a lot of personality." "And I love that." "Thank you." "You're interesting, and I can work with interesting." "(AUDIENCE CHEERING)" "All of the coaches at my disposal," "I'm gonna have to choose" "Christina!" "Whoo!" "Yay!" "This is awesome!" "Thank you so much." "You're welcome." "Oh, my God." "Whoa!" "Okay, okay, okay." "Thank you." "Okay." "Thank you so much." "Aah!" "Besties!" "Hey, Mom!" "Hey." "Hey, Amy!"