"Therefore, you may make visitation to your daughter every other week and on Christmas Eve and on Easter when you're wearing your pretty little Easter outfits." "Your Honor, my ex-husband is addicted to pills and he's a thief." "Because of his arrest record I lost my job as a secretary for the fbi." "He was the finest high-school tailback I ever saw." "He's had his run-ins with the law, but he's made his accommodations with the authorities." "Being an informer for the Dade County Vice Squad hardly qualifies him to raise a 7-year-old child." "Neither does being a mother without a job." "But I lost it because of him." "Little lady my decision is final." "Next case." "The big man's here." "When is she on?" "Pretty soon, Jerry." "Welcome to the Eager Beaver, gentlemen." "Thank you." "Keep it close." "Keep it very close." "You got it." "Last stop, okay?" "What do you say, Congressman?" "Poontang!" "The night is young and full of promise, my boy." "Great." "It has to be the last one." "Whipped, whipped!" "Take a look at this." "We got a rehearsal tomorrow." "Melissa thinks I'm in temple!" "What if she calls?" "All right!" "We got the legendary Twin Towers of Fort Lauderdale, Miss Urbana Sprawl wrapping up on the great stage." "Nice party, isn't it, Erb?" "It's very uplifting, sir." "The usual Evian with a lime?" "Please." "From Paris, France put it together for the fabulous Monique Jr.!" "That song is killing me." "Girl, those babies gonna wind up in traction if you don't play some ballads." "God, it's freezing." "They could store meat in here." "In fact, they do store meat in here." "No, I have been trying all day." "Are you positive?" "No, thank you." "Can't reach her?" "Darrell's phone is out of order." "I just know he's moved with her again to some new dump." "God, what a nightmare!" "He drives around with her in that van of his, drinking, taking pills...." "I'm sure he doesn't even put a seat belt on her." "He's a dirtbag." "You hang in there, honey." "You'll get Angela back." "That judge'll see the light." "He has to." "It's expensive light, I'll tell you that." "It's gonna cost me $15,000 for this appeal." "Is there even a remote chance I can make that in six weeks?" "You're gonna have to dance day and night and hope some Arab sheik shows up." "I love you girls, I really do." "But I can't be here when I go back to court." ""Yes, Your Honor, I got a new job." ""l'm working at the Eager Beaver."" "This is honest work!" "You have nothing to be ashamed of." "I know that and you know that, but the judge won't." "Not him." "It's eight weeks and I still get nauseous before I have to go out there." "You'll get over it." "Really?" "I can't imagine that." "You guys having a good time?" "You've come to the right place." "Monique!" "Look at these hunks!" "We're having a party." "Keep an eye on them bachelors." "They look like real trouble." "Well, it's time to strap yourselves in because you are going for a ride." "In her eighth week here put your hands together and make her feel good for the one, the only Erin Grant!" "How about it!" "Larry King's at Table 6." "What's he wearing?" "Tank top and gold chains." "That's Larry, all right." "How do I look?" "Better than me." "That ain't easy." "You talk to her?" "Darrell's phone's out of order." "I think he moved again." "I'd embrace the opportunity to maim his white ass up." "I know, but I don't think it'd help me in court if I had him attacked." "Come on." "Chop, chop." "I can't have an empty stage." "Man, let the chumps wait." "Going to the head." "You'll behave?" "An angel appeared." "An angel." "Pure delight." "I'm Paul." "I'm getting married this weekend." "To Melissa." "Do you love Melissa?" "Very much." "Then go home to her." "Shad!" "Listen up." "The Flesh Farm is killing us." "You know why?" "Free buffalo wings." "Their girls are hookers." "Because their girls dance fast." "And fast means sweat." "And sweat means drinking." "What the hell was that?" "I've got this." "Way to go, Davey!" "Back the hell up." "Back the hell up." "You all right?" "Fine." "How about him?" "Good thing he was drunk." "He could've been hurt." "Okay, now on the main stage our little pussycat." "Put your hands together for the one, the only, Miss Sabrina Hepburn." "I leave you alone for five minutes!" "Will you get in?" "Just watch your...." "Malcolm's going to shit a brick." "Thank you." "Did I touch any girls?" "Not this time, but you were recognized." "Okay?" "Happy?" "How are you, little angel?" "I'm fine, thank you." "Kids just tear me up." "She's a brave one, yes, ma'am." "You'll be in my prayers." "God bless you, ma'am." "Last stop, lil' 'un." "Daddy, you're mean." "Everest and Jennings." "This here's the new model." "The X-12." "You're happy?" "Mucho happy." "Mucho happy?" "Get in the van, Angie." "Mucho, mucho!" "Get in." "We're parked in a loading zone." "We don't want to break the law." "Daddy did you tell Mommy we moved?" "'Course I did, buttercup." "'Course I did." "How about a wine cooler, Erin?" "I got mango, passion fruit...." "Water would be just fine, Alberto, thanks." "Rita, the reason I stopped by is Darrell's moved again and I need to get his new number." "Yeah?" "You come to the wrong place." "Rita, I can hardly sleep nights and then I break out..." "...into a cold sweat." "I got no idea where my brother is." "Shit, they got the cat." "Damn wolves got no self-control." "Careful, sweetie." "Shut up!" "She's all caught up with them cubs." "Some of the guys down at the nuclear plant they were asking me if you do, like private parties." "I don't think so." "That's a shame because I'll bet that you are a great dancer." "I'll go crazy if I don't get Darrell's new number." "I promised Angie that I would call her every day." "I hear he moved." "Alberto, where is he?" "You'll have to ask Rita about that." "He calls here about twice a week, collect." "Needing money, as usual, but he don't speak to me." "Got no respect for me, even though I am a professional man." "You're looking real good." "God, I have got such a headache." "Yeah, you want some Advil?" "That would be so great." "Now, you sit right here and I'm going to fix up that mean old headache." "Alberto, never mind." "I've got to run, but thanks anyhow." "Deerfield Beach?" "We had a good day, baby." "Phone's ringing." "Think it's Mama?" "No, lil' 'un." "I talked to her before and she said she's gonna be too busy to call you." "Damn him." "Oh, Jesus." "Nice leg." "Maybe I'll take it home." "I recommend you let it go." "Here's $500, baby." "Let's party in my car." "What'd you say?" "What's with Princess Di tonight?" "Her asshole husband disappeared with the kid again." "I don't suppose you'd accept this in appreciation?" "No need." "Señor Cucaracha here is going to make me rich." "Oh, my God!" "Is that a roach?" "No, it's a fucking shrimp." "Now move, you're in my light." "Get some manners, mister." "Do you guys have any Gas-Ex?" "So this is the new brainstorm?" "According to the Wall Street Journal, we got here the hottest selling yogurt." "I bring this in say my hair fell out from the shock." "Boom." "They pay off big time." "My lawyer thinks it's a genius idea." "Your lawyer has an office over a video store." "Call me a dreamer." "I don't want to be a bouncer forever." "Erin!" "Note from Jerry." "What does it say?" ""Dearest Erin:" ""l can help get your daughter back." ""l ask nothing in return but a kind smile."" "Yeah, right." "He's a weirdo." "Guys, he is totally harmless." "Oh, come on." ""Also, could you add Kenny G..." ""...to your routine?" ""Anything from his Christmas album."" "That's sweet." "Maybe we could do a Christmas show here." "Seriously, girls, what do you think?" "It won't hurt to talk to him, right?" "Only talking, no touching." "Ladies!" "Attention." "Listen up." "Major announcement." "Major asshole." "I heard that." "On Monday I'm installing a ring." "Mud wrestling?" "No." "This is something that's really happening, it's contemporary, it's now." "And it's creamed-corn wrestling." "Corn?" "Corn wrestling?" "I'm not putting these in corn." "No way." "What?" "No, it's terrific!" "In Israel we did falafel wrestling." "All the girls broke out in hives." "Everywhere." "I mean everywhere." "No, well, falafel, sure." "This is corn." "What is this?" "A mutiny?" "I don't think so." "I'm not rolling around naked in creamed corn with a bunch of drunken yahoos trying to stick nibblets up my hoo-ha." "Not naked, topless." "Health Department won't go for naked." "Not with food products." "I always liked the Health Department." "So, you'll think about it?" "Not for one second." "Please." "You're getting a big following here." "Even with your shit music, the guys love you." "You go into the corn, you set a great example to the other girls." "No." "I got it!" "How about pasta wrestling?" "That's classy." "Linguini, rigatoni?" "Your choice, just no meat or fish." "Orly if I wanted to wrestle, I would've joined the World Wrestling Federation." "And speaking of real class?" "What's the problem?" "We hate these." "They degrade women and beavers." "I'll take it under advisement." "Just the coasters and the napkins." "Not the sign." "That's a landmark." "Good night, darling." "For you, Miss Grant." "They're beautiful, Jerry." "Thank you." "But you can call me Erin." "I can't." "I worship you too much." "Believe me I'm no one to be worshipped." "I'm just trying to make a living here." "I worship your essence." "If you were a nurse or a schoolteacher, I'd feel the same way." "You receive my note?" "I did and, you know, I was wondering what you had in mind." "I believe I can help you get your daughter back." "I believe I can get to Judge Fingerhut." "How?" "Through a certain congressman who I feel certain will listen to me because I know some things." "Things." "Really?" "Well, you know, Jerry, you're really a terrific guy and you've been so supportive of me ever since I started here." "Maybe you shouldn't get involved" "Just give me a week." "Good night, my precious." "Melissa thinks I was in synagogue the night this happened." "What do I tell her?" "You left synagogue and a gang of skinheads jumped you in the parking lot." "Meanwhile, we develop these, we see what we have." "I see mucho damages." "Strip joints are insured up the ass." "My neck really feels better, Uncle Al." "Oh, yeah?" "How's it feel now?" "Call Little Caesar's." "Order me a health pizza." "Get something for yourself." "No thank you, I'm dieting." "I'll grab a yogurt out of the fridge." "This is a major disaster." "Major." "Unbelievable." "Without doubt the most asinine piece of human behavior...." "It's never gonna happen again, Malcolm." "I've got it under control." "You see I just love naked women." "It's a character flaw." "God's testing me" "Will you shut up you idiot?" "You can't talk to a U.S. congressman like that." "I can't?" "You go psycho in a tittie bar six weeks before the election." "What should I call you?" "Winston Fucking Churchill?" "I had to keep Willie Rojo from coming in here and strangling you with his bare fucking hands." "Everybody has a bad night." "We're under pressure, under the public eye...." "Who recognized me?" "His name is Jerry Killian and he's waiting outside." "Now?" "Now." "We gotta move on this before we get eaten alive." "Move on what?" "If this is a shakedown, just get Willie to pay him like always." "Why drag me into" "Because it's not about money." "It's not?" "No." "He wants you to persuade Judge Fingerhut to reverse a child-custody case of some stripper." "Who he's porking?" "That's disgraceful to have a man like me..." "...have to deal" "He's not porking her." "Well, then why does he care?" "Because he's nuts." "He's dangerous." "If he was porking her I could deal with him man-to-man." "But this...." "This is fruitcake love here." "Well I mean Fingerhut's a Democrat." "He won't listen to me." "You can't say that to this little creep, Davey." "You gotta string him along." "Bullshit him." "Use the old Dilbeck charm." "What if he doesn't go for it?" "Then we have a serious problem." "Mr. Killian!" "Come in and meet Congressman Dilbeck." "I bet that's Jerry Killian!" "Come here." "Come on." "How perfect is this?" "You know, I was just thinking is this really on the same planet as Miami?" "I can read." "Where's Andy?" "He's been fishing since 8:00." "Dad!" "There's a floater!" "He's still got his glasses on." "Go tell Mom to call the police." "You're the police." "I'm the Miami police." "Please?" "We just need the local law here." "Go on." "Man of all the lakes in all the counties in all the world you got to float up in mine." "You son of a bitch." "Mama!" "Come here." "I've been trying to reach you, baby." "Heard you stole my sister's mail." "That's a federal offense." "Wait for Mommy." "I'm gonna talk to Daddy." "Why do you keep moving?" "How's she going to make friends?" "Aren't we the child psychologist now?" "It's not child psychology, you moron." "Where's she going to go to school?" "Opa-Locka?" "Deerfield Beach?" "Have you even thought about it?" "Yeah, I thought about it plenty." "You only got two hours." "That's what the judge ruled, from that bench." "I'll be right behind you, in case you're thinking about snatching her." "Mommy, does "snatch" mean "kidnap"?" "How did you get so smart?" "Free Willy back yet?" "Still out." "People are pigs." "Sit on movies like they own them." "Freak." "It's Shad." "Open up." "It wasn't me." "It was the temp." "Where's Perry Mason?" "Our good friend, Mr. Shad." "Come on in, we have lots to discuss." "No shit." "If I buzz twice, come in." "You say my mom's on the line with chest pains." "What do you mean, he's a wheelchair salesman?" "There's one nice thing about hospitals." "A lot of kids in chairs are really sick." "And I wave at them and they smile back, just like on Jerry Lewis." "You do this with Daddy every day?" "On Fridays I stay with Aunt Rita." "That's a wholesome environment." "She has real wolves." "I don't want you touching those animals." "They're not like dogs." "Time." "Time." "I love you more than anything in the whole wide world." "You know that in your heart?" "Mommy?" "What, baby?" "You know those dolls you got me?" "Daddy says he can't find them anywhere." "We'll get new ones." "'Bye." "I love you." "'Bye, baby." "I love you." "Hey, let's go!" "You go on and I'll bring your stuff." "Hey, baby." "Have a good day?" "Good." "She told me about your new profession." "That's really admirable." "Least I ain't naked." ""Least I ain't naked?"" "You get caught with her doing a felony and they'll put her in a foster home" "No way I'd get caught." "I got me one of them doctors' jackets and a stethoscope." "Look like one of them dudes on E.R." "Would you think for once in your life?" "I don't need no stripper telling me how to behave." "See you in two weeks." "You ready?" "You know where that was taken?" "Your mama's birthday party." "The Eager Beaver." "Last Wednesday." "You know those people?" "Yeah, this old fool, Erin...." "Erin's the stripper?" "What'd you say?" "Erin's the stripper?" "Dancer, fat ass." "She's a dancer!" "The young man who was so savagely beaten is my client, Paul Guber." "No shit." "Too bad for him." "I don't think so." "The third person in that photograph is none other than David L. Dilbeck." "So what?" "Do you follow politics, Mr. Shad?" "Do I look like I follow politics?" "David Dilbeck is the U.S. congressman from the 5th District." "He's up for reelection in six weeks." "You're going to put the squeeze on him." "Nice." "What's that got to do with me?" "I'll give you ten percent of the squeeze." "Is this conceivably as big as the yogurt deal?" "As big?" "Congressman Dilbeck is chairman of a subcommittee on sugar." "Which means the Rojo family can't let him lose this election 'cause their price supports are worth hundreds of millions of dollars." "And quite frankly, Mr. Shad this is the opportunity of a lifetime." "Good." "Just keep Erin out of it." "Do my best." "Erin is out." "Erin who?" "Charming spot." "Look, Steven Spielberg's house." "I wish he'd come in here one night." "I'm sure he would have big hots for me." "You'd turn his whole life around." "Look." "His shower." "Can you imagine me and him in that shower?" "That cute little beard." "Yours or his?" "Jerry, it's Erin Grant." "Wow, what a long beep." "Someone's waiting for you." "Maybe you're out of town, but I called to see if you'd heard about that legal matter we discussed." "Anyway, if you get a chance, just give me a call at the club." "Thanks. 'Bye." "Michael Jordan's at Table 8!" "Great." "Say hello to the fantastic Monique Jr.!" "Lieutenant Garcia with Homicide?" "What's he want with Erin?" "Got no idea." "All I need, a scandal." "What do you know about Prozac?" "Makes you happy but there's side effects." "Like what?" "Limp noodle." "Who cares?" "I haven't had a hard-on since I started runnin' this place." "Closest I got was Sea World." "Porpoise got me hot." "What the fuck you telling me that for?" "I'll go next door, see what Ling's up to." "Drowned?" "Yeah." "Oh, my God." "He had pictures of you all over his apartment." "He was a really big fan." "He used to bring me flowers and" "He was just a fan?" "There was no touching?" "This was a real pleasure." "I meant" "That I dance here so I must turn tricks?" "Nice way to open a conversation." ""So I understand you're a hooker."" "You don't work in the library here." "I'm trying to figure out the man's life." "He was a customer." "That's all I know about his life, except that it's over." "Okay?" "Okay." "I apologize." "Sincerely." "I'm nowhere on this." "I could use some...." "Please give me a minute?" "Please?" "Where did this happen?" "Lake Okeechobee." "It's where I made the serious mistake of taking my vacation." "Your family?" "Nice." "Not the kind of place you'd expect a homicide." "A homicide?" "You said he drowned." "No, we did an autopsy." "The water in his lungs it came up clean." "Tap water was in his lungs?" "Exactly." "So somebody killed him first, like in a bathtub, then dumped the body in a lake." "Do you read mysteries?" "Until three months ago, I worked at the FBI in Miami." "A secretary." "I got fired for having a defective husband." "I'm in a pretty bad custody fight." "Jerry was trying to help me." "From the shores of the Dead Sea, a decorated nurse in the Israeli Army." "Say, shalom to the fabulous Ariel Sharon." "Could we go outside?" "I need some air." "Yeah." "Mr. Orly!" "What a wonderful surprise." "Nice to be in a quality club, eh?" "If you like freak shows." "Ling!" "Get over here!" "Excuse me, Mr. Orly." "That's Mr. Chris Rojo of the sugar Rojos." "Typical of the kind of rich big shots we get here." "Is this the place where I met my angel?" "Which angel are you referring to, sir?" "A congressman?" "A congressman." "You mean a U.S. congressman?" "Well, he wasn't specific who it was." "I said it sounded bananas and that maybe it was better if he stayed out of it." "On Wednesday night there was an incident here." "A guy with a bottle" "A whack job." "Drunk out of his mind." "Do you remember if Mr. Killian was here?" "Not offhand." "But maybe." "Think about that?" "These are my numbers." "Once again, I apologize for any aspersions." "You want to make it up to me?" "I beg your pardon?" "I need a favor." "You've got friends on the Vice Squad?" "Yeah, but..." "...not bosom buddies." "My ex-husband is an informant for them, which is why he got custody." "Are you joking?" "I wish." "But I was thinking if Vice dumped him as an informer when my appeal came up in six weeks I could then say my ex-husband is so unfit..." "...such a criminal" "Wait a minute." "He's a criminal?" "Your ex is a criminal?" "He steals wheelchairs, thank you very much." "Let me see what I can do." "Good night." "You know, not having her around, it's like my heart is missing." "I'm sure." "Let me see what I can do." "Good night." "Good night." "How much you pay them?" "I don't know." "I think they're up to $30 a day." "But subtract room and board, booze and smokes, who knows?" "Maybe they pay us." "Hell of a business." "It's the best." "And we got to protect it, right?" "Son I've been protecting your family for 20 years." "You're the greatest." "But until the election no more girls." "Bring your wife for a weekend." "What's her name, Alice?" "Mary Pat." "Chris I met an angel." "I mean she's a dancer." "And she's so pure and clean, not like the rest of these whores." "If I could just be with her" "You'd be a good boy?" "I'd be perfect." "Perfect." "I swear I would." "I would stop going to clubs I would stop drinking I would just lead a regular life, you know, with my wife, and a steady mistress and I would have a...." "I would have a decent life." "Let's do it." "Where is she?" "My brain is just turning to shit." "That's why you're in Congress." "You're probably right." "Who is it?" "Lt." "Garcia." "Is it a bad time?" "Oh, no." "Just a second." "I was rehearsing." "'Morning." "'Morning." "I was nearby." "I should've called" "No, it's fine." "Come on in." "Thank you." "Can I get you some coffee, or an English muffin?" "No, no." "Thanks." "I was thinking and if I had to guess, I'd have to say that Jerry was probably there because he was there most nights." "Do you know anything new?" "Actually, I have some good news." "And I have some mediocre news." "The good news is Darrell lost his informant status." "Oh, yes!" "9:00 this morning." "Vice boys thought his information was all bogus anyway." "God, this is great." "Now in six weeks I'll see the judge" "Yeah, that's the mediocre part." "Judge Fingerhut had a heart attack this morning at some porno theatre on Ocean Avenue." "Don't tell me that." "Yeah, he was DOA Don Shula Hospital." "I called around and the earliest...." "It'll be six months 'til you're appealed." "Six months?" "System is all backed up." "I can't allow her to stay with him for another six months." "Anything could happen." "There's nothing you could do from a legal standpoint." "Absolutely nothing." "I understand." "Is today Friday?" "Yeah, it's Friday." "I gotta run." "How are you?" "All right." "Shalom, darling." "Manischewitz." "Congressman." "Alan Mordecai." "How've you been?" "Fine, sir." "Congressman, I brought a little souvenir for you." "Obviously the ramifications of that, if it became public" "Is this me?" "I'm afraid so." "Now, if this became public it'd be devastating, and I'd like to help avoid that." "It's her." "It's my angel." "Are we going to your house, Mama?" "No, baby, we're going to our house." "For the whole day?" "Even better." "Really?" "Really." "You snatched me, didn't you?" "I guess I did." "You sure did." "Come on, pumpkin, zip-a-dee-doo-dah." "I didn't know she had a child." "Of course you" "She's divorced, but the husband has custody." "Remember?" "She's carrying numerous bags." "Now that doesn't look like just a visitation, does it, Erb?" "I'll look into it." "Check custody status of Miss Erin Grant." "God give me strength." "What an extraordinary creature." "How perfect in every detail." "You promised you'd behave yourself until after the election." "You don't understand, Erb." "This is love." "Love." "Please." "Won't campaign until I can possess her actual velvet self." "In the meantime I want you to bring me something." "Something of hers." "Something personal to tide me over." "How personal?" "Intensely personal." "Am I a good help?" "Honey you are the best laundry assistant I ever had." "Okay." "Let's hit the road, Jack." "Who's Jack?" "Honey, it's just an expression." "This is some picture." "It's fatal." "I don't accede to blackmail." "I agree on principle but if this gets out, we're in a big-time shit storm." "Pop pay the guy off." "You got a cancer you talk nice to it?" "No." "You cut it out." "Willie we can't keep operating like we're in the funeral business." "I'd rather buy cops than pay blackmail." "Understood?" "I think that we should consider other options." "Understood?" "Yes." "What else?" "A connected matter." "Davey wants to nail this stripper." "I'd like to use the boat." "That way we can control the situation." "The girl from the picture?" "Correct." "Erin Grant." "What does she know?" "We gotta find out." "She got custody of her child illegally so she's vulnerable." "Vulnerable isn't good enough." "I say let Davey have his fun, then lose her." "Willie, Willie." "First, let's determine whether she can hurt us or not." "I'm sure she's just another dumb whore." "For her sake, I hope so." "Phooey!" "I go back three." "This is complicated." "It's easy." "All right, is it your turn?" "You stay with us." "Mama's orders." "Everybody!" "Listen up." "This is Lorelei." "Formerly of the Flesh Farm." "She and her snake, Monty Python have signed an exclusive contract with us." "You've got a snake?" "And she starts tomorrow." "So why don't we get together, make her feel at home and give her a real Eager Beaver welcome." "Welcome, darling." "I'm Ariel, Miss Gaza Strip." "I'm Tiffany Glass." "Nice to meet you." "How big is your snake?" "Well, it's big." "So what brings you here?" "Just what we needed, another blonde." "What the hell is that?" "Just came from Ling's." "Monty sleeps with the fishes." "What?" "Lorelei has no idea, right?" "No, it just got here." "It's fresh." "Here." "Go rustle up a new snake." "Where?" "The AP?" "Who the fuck carries pythons at 10:00 at night?" "There's an all-night snake farm on Route 27." "Ask for Jungle Juan." "Get rid of that thing." "God, I hate this business." "You know why?" "It's lost its humanity." "Say hello to one gorgeous creature..." "Bring change." "...the unbelievable Erin Grant!" "Because he believes in the family in the values that made us a God-fearing people." "Because he's long been a friend of this organization." "Get him out of there." "Preferably with his clothes on." "Davey...." "Oh, my God." "Tell me I'm dreaming." "Please." "Oh, no, no, no." "I cannot believe this." "No, no, no." "Davey, no." "Is this lint fresh?" "Hot out of the Maytag." "You just can't imagine." "This is the very essence of that glorious creature." "Even for you, this is off the charts." "Why are you all shiny?" "It's Vaseline." "Great, it's Vaseline." "You've never covered yourself with Vaseline?" "No." "Not unless I have third-degree burns." "You don't know what you're missing." "I've got it all over." "It's down in my boots." "I feel it squish between my toes." "Okay, Davey...." "The Young Christians are waiting." "So...." "When will I see her, Erb?" "It's in the works." "But when?" "It's in the works!" "Clean yourself up." "Boy, I did not go into politics to pimp for a twisted old fuck like you." "I've had it, Davey." "I quit." "You're such a child." ""Onward, Christian soldiers" ""Marching on to war" ""With the cross ofJesus" ""Going on before" ""Christ, the Royal Master" ""Leads against the foe" ""Onward into battle"" "Thank you." "Thank you very much." "You are too kind." "You are too kind." "What a privilege for me to be here with you good people tonight to talk about an issue that is so critical to this campaign and to all the American people." "I'm talking about the issue of family values." "Where's Monty?" "He isn't here yet." "He's on his way." "Relax." "Could you do me a favor and watch Angela?" "I'm gonna run and get my car." "It's pouring." "Yeah, sure, gorgeous." "Thanks." "Where were you?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early." "Martha Stewart recommends it." "If that's not a snake then it's an amazing belt." "I gotta find a new line of work." "This shit is getting out of hand." "I'll put this down and walk you to your car." "I'm fine." "I'll see you tomorrow." "Shit." "'Evening, everybody." "Shit." "Where's my lil' 'un?" "Where you can't get her." "Is that ever the wrong answer." "Bring her to me now." "I'm not bringing her to you anywhere in this lifetime." "I'll just have to tell that nice old judge that my whore of a wife abducted" "Guess what?" "The judge is dead." "If you want Angela you'll have to kill me." "Go on!" "You think I'm afraid to?" "You think I don't have the manliness to take your life?" "I think you are all man." "That death-row, lethal-injection thing?" "Come on, that's not going to scare you." "They'd never execute a daddy." "No?" "Drop the knife." "You got till three." "One." "Suck my dick." "Whip the little fellow out." "Two." "This here's a domestic squabble." "Three." "You broke my arm!" "You sure?" "Bitch!" "Bully!" "I'm going to get you." "Are you okay?" "Just had a tiff with my ex." "I know what that's like." "Oh, did you see?" "Monty finally got here." "That's great." "Hey, baby." "Say hi to Erin." "Cute." "Homicide." "Lt." "Garcia, please." "She's a kidnapper!" "Watch your head." "He threatened but he didn't actually attempt." "What if he kills me?" "Can I press charges then?" "A law's a law." "I'll screw around there for a while." "Lose your paperwork." "He makes bail, she's his." "I should split and take her to New England or something." "Understand this." "Leave without formal custody, you'll lose her forever." "I've dealt with Family Services." "These people are pencil pushers." "This is by the book." "I'm dealing with a maniac." "I understand that." "I'll say it again." "You can't take off." "You cannot." "Anyway, you might have a bigger problem." "I can't have a bigger problem." "Take a look at this." "Are any of these clowns the one who might've assaulted Mr. Guber?" "This clown." "You're positive?" "Absolutely." "Who is he?" "Looks like that guy on F Troop." "Yeah, that's Congressman Dilbeck." "This nut is a congressman?" "You haven't heard from him?" "Or from any of his staff?" "No." "Wait this is who Jerry meant." "You're saying that I'm in danger from a congressman?" "No." "Just let me know if you hear from him." "I think that's in both our interests." "How did I get so popular?" ""Hush little baby" ""Don't you cry" ""Mama's going to buy you a...."" "Something." "Pumpkin pie." "You're awake." "Can Mommy put you down?" "No." "Fair enough." "Mommy!" "Baby, brush your teeth." "I'm too tired." "Okay, don't brush your teeth, but go to bed." ""Mr. Dilbeck requests the pleasure of your company for a private dance." ""You will receive $2,000 cash for a one-hour set." ""Obviously discretion and confidentiality are of the utmost importance."" "Mommy, do you like dancing?" "Why are you still awake?" "I was just thinking." "Do you like dancing?" "Not really." "It's not fun?" "No." "You're just dancing." "Just dancing's fun, honey, sure, that part of the job." "What's not fun?" "The customers?" "Urbana said some of them are really mean and stupid." "Pumpkin, have you ever seen me dance?" "Have you?" "Because I told the girls" "I came out tonight." "While I was dancing?" "God!" "You looked really pretty." "No, I didn't." "Yeah, you did." "You looked great." "Thank you, baby." "Good afternoon, everybody and welcome to the Miami Seaquarium's top deck." "Today we're going to celebrate the world's oceans and all of the living things in them as we proudly present to you a splash of the islands." "Now I need all the camp kids to come with me." "Come on, you too." "It's okay, you can go." "Go on, it's all right." "I'll be right here, honey." "Don't worry." "She spends so little time with other kids" "It'll change once she's with you full time." "I hope so." "Let me get this straight." "He offered you two grand..." "...to dance for one hour?" "Yeah." "Wow." "I don't know." "Well, I can't turn it down, Al." "I was gonna keep dancing but now, with Angie I must find another job as soon as possible." "Which'll pay nothing, compared to now." "But, you know, she she saw me last night." "Can you imagine?" "Was she upset?" "She said no, but one day she'll realize and say, "Hey, that was my mother."" "Are you ready to feed Flipper?" "Step right up here." "Oh, my God." "It's safe, though, right?" "What?" "With Dilbeck, I mean." "I'm bringing Shad." "As long as they think you don't know anything you'll be fine." "Just keep your ears open." "What'll you do with Angela tonight?" "Urbana said that she'd watch her." "Drop her off at our house." "I can't do that." "Why not?" "I told Donna everything about you, your whole situation." "She said she'd be happy to help you out." "She doesn't think I'm something out of A Current Affair?" "Come on now." "You're a terrific girl." "You know that." "You made a mistake a lot of terrific girls make today." "You married a bum." "So?" "You gonna beat yourself up for the rest of your life?" "Well, I usually don't." "But it's it's just that she saw me dancing." "Yeah." "I think it'll all work out." "I just want her free and clear, whatever it takes." "Good job, baby!" "You're Mrs. Grant?" "No, I'm Barbara Bush." "Who is he?" "George Bush." "George Bush is not invited." "Take a hike, man." "Oh, no." "See if he goes I go." "Raise your hands." "I've got to pat you down." "Stop." "Right this way." "Hello, Erin." "My name is Congressman Dilbeck." "You are you're a beauty." "Good evening." "I'm Erin Grant." "And you must be...?" "Conreck Dilbeck Congressman Dildo." "I am Congressman David Dilbeck." "And welcome, welcome." "Welcome." "You are truly, truly welcome." "Thank you." "Have we ever met..." "...before?" "No, no...." "But, actually, I have seen many, many beautiful photographs of you." "I'm honored." "And a congressman." "Very successful congressman you must be." "This is not my boat." "It belongs to a very close friend of mine." "Do you like Dino?" "Dean's great." "But, you know, I've brought my own." "Do you care for the artist formerly known as Prince?" "I care for you." "So, George, do you get to watch any of the auditions?" "Watch them, my ass." "I do the hiring." "No, no." "I've seen every girl in Florida." "What are the criteria?" "Just monster jugs?" "Firmness is crucial." "I got to hold them for a while." "Shake them." "You shake their tits?" "It ain't no picnic, man." "Got tendinitis in my right wrist." "On a rainy day it's agony." "So, George you audition anybody famous?" "What?" "Before they were famous." "Sure did." "Meryl Streep." "Come on." "Meryl Streep stripped?" "One of the best." "Chesty lefrance." "That was Meryl." "Chesty lefrance." "I heard of her." "I'll give you anything you want." "A diamond ring." "A Lexus." "I'll get you a condo on the beach." "Just be my girlfriend." "I can't do that." "Why not?" "I love you." "You don't know what I've done for you recently." "Really." "And what was that?" "I talked to the late Judge Fingerhut about your daughter." "You did?" "How did you know about my case?" "A little birdie told me." "It must've been a little old birdie who knew me very well." ""Who" is not important." "Come on, now." "Come on, just a little hint." "I can't do that." "But I I know the new judge." "He's a good friend of mine." "The Honorable Jack Goldberg." "And I believe he'll be more amenable." "You know, darling if you just come into Davey's life good things will happen." "You don't know how much I worship you." "How much?" "I sent my aide, Erb, over to your laundromat and he brought back some of your lint." "My lint?" "Fresh hot lint." "And what did you do with that fresh hot lint?" "Well, I'm afraid I made love to it." "Close your eyes." "I've got a little surprise for you." "Keep them closed." "All right." "No peeking." "Don't you ever invade my private life again or I'll kill you." "Show's over, big boy." "You come back tomorrow?" "Same time?" "I don't think so." "I'll give you $5,000 dollars." "Five thousand dollars for no sex?" "You love me that much?" "Just the touch of your hand sets my pecker on fire." "Maybe you should see a doctor." "Same time tomorrow?" "If I do come back tomorrow, can we talk more about my case?" "We can talk about anything you want." "As long as you're naked." "We'll see." "Good evening." "Good evening." "You don't know me." "I'm Malcolm Moldovsky." "Congressman Dilbeck's right hand." "You must be a very busy man." "Touché." "I wish to give you a word of advice about your adorable little daughter." "Angela." "What about her?" "We're aware that your custody of her is totally illegal." "It's just temporary until the appeal gets heard." "Please, Miss Grant, really." "It's of no concern to us as long as you refuse to cooperate with certain individuals who seeks to harm and slur Congressman Dilbeck for their own selfish political gain." "I don't know what you're talking about." "Excuse me." "Perhaps you don't." "What a pity if Angela were to be placed in a state home." "Pretty grim, most of them." "A lot of strange people working there." "I'd recommend that you cooperate with us, Miss Grant." "For the child's sake." "Which means you talk to no one about tonight." "Or any night." "Understood?" "Of course." "Good." "Now if you'll excuse me, I'd better toss the congressman into a cold shower." "By the way, I can see why he's so taken by your charms." "Good night." "Watch your step on the gangplank." "She ain't dumb enough." "Try anything?" "No." "He ask you back?" "No." "Aren't we Miss Talkative tonight." "I'm just a little tired." "What's the matter, baby?" "Come on." "Monty." "This reptile's a freaking lemon." "Who are you?" "Help!" "How did it go?" "Fine." "No problems?" "No, none." "No information." "Zero." "Look, I gotta run." "Angela's wiped." "I'll see you later, okay?" "Get it off of me!" "Do something!" "I'm doing something." "I'm protecting you." "That's not Monty." "I don't know where he is." "We'll find him." "Who was that snake?" "What happened?" "We got a problem with a dead snake." "Gee, that's funny." "So do I." "Here comes that brilliant and charming attorney of yours, Mr. Mordecai." "Found him 400 yards offshore." "Show him the rest of his kisser." "Crabs find lawyers a particular delicacy." "Looks like lasagna." "Cover that shit up." "You want to tell me why your name was on his calendar for tomorrow?" "I was involved in litigation with a yogurt company." "Based on my limited experience this isn't the kind of thing a yogurt company would ordinarily do." "This freak represented the kid who got mauled at your club." "Now, that I find fascinating, Shad." "He had a picture." "Man, I'm going to lose it." "No, no." "A picture of what?" "A certain legislator?" "Yeah." "Beating the kid's ass." "Where's the original?" "I got no idea." "Here." "Freshen up." "All right, thanks." "Can I interest you in dessert?" "No, just the check." "Come here." "Dilbeck didn't invite her back?" "She said no." "That's good." "I don't think she should go there again, even with you." "Why did she seem all edgy tonight?" "She got her moods." "Could be that time of the month." "So, you're the gynecologist-bouncer, bouncer-gynecologist?" "I just watch out for the girls." "Wow." "So do I." "That makes a grand total of two people in the entire state of Florida." "The higher-ups in my department aren't exactly pushing this investigation." "Because of this asshole congressman." "Bingo." "We got two homicides here, and nobody gives a shit." "And I'm worried about that girl." "She's out there all by herself." "Hello, City Desk?" "It is an unusual time for a news conference but the congressman feels it'll dramatize his message." "Okay." "We'll have a camera crew there." "Great." "There'll be no need to confirm." "I've got everything." "Thank you." "Good morning, pumpkin." "How'd you sleep?" "Good." "How about you?" "I slept great, honey." "You want some cereal?" "Not right now." "Good morning." "Hello, CNN?" "News desk, please." "One second." "Hi, this is Jennifer and I'm calling from Congressman Dilbeck's office." "Malcolm Moldovsky asked me to call about the news conference at the old refinery." "Quit moving." "Whose Mercedes is that?" "Some orthodontist from Tampa." "God, what would Mom say?" "She'd say, "Nice fucking car."" "You got a mouth like a sewer." "I need some morphine." "I don't got none for humans." "What do you mean, "humans"?" "I got some for when Lupa had her cubs." "Wolf morphine?" "I don't know." "I think so." "Give me!" "I'm dying here." "Busted arm, two nights in jail" "Yeah, yeah, Darrell." "How'd you break it so bad?" "Playing polo with Donald Trump, okay?" "It says here to take two every four hours with a bowl of milk." "Yeah, that sounds good to me." "I said, "Two."" "Goddamn it!" "You have to throw down a spade, another seven." "Unless you have an eight." "Then you can change suits." "So that's why they call it "Crazy Eights."" "Yeah." "Right?" "When will you be back?" "By 2:00, but I hope you'll be asleep by then." "We'll take care of her." "Don't worry." "You're going out?" "I'll be back by 2:00..." "...then I'll dance the late shift." "Can you" "No, I can't." "Okay." "You be good, pumpkin." "I will." "Okay." "She'll be fine, Erin." "Okay." "Don't worry." "See you, baby." "You're going to the boat, right?" "Not without me." "I'm gonna be late." "Erin, listen up." "Why'd you tell me you weren't going?" "Nobody can know." "Like who?" "Garcia." "Then just say, "Shad, don't tell Garcia." What's up?" "They'll stick Angela in a foster home if I don't keep my mouth shut." "Says who?" "Dilbeck's guy, that creep Moldovsky." "Promise me you will stay with her every second." "I need to know that." "I can't let you go there alone." "Shad they're gonna pay me $5,000." "I need the money." "I need to get out of here and live a normal, fully-dressed life with shopping lists and school buses and everything." "If they wanted to kill me they'd have done it already." "Let me get this straight." "So you'll go there, dance, and come back here?" "Correct." "I know you." "Something's up." "Trust me." "I've got it under control." "Promise me that you'll stay with Angela every second." "I'll see you later." "Erin!" "Bonsoir." "Bonsoir." "Sorry." "You speak English?" "Sometime." "What do you think about the people you work for?" "They're filth." "Exploiters of the poor." "I think you and I are gonna get along just fine." "Five thousand dollars I expect to get laid." "It's only human." "I want you to listen to me." "That beauty doesn't understand what it's like to make love to a U.S. congressman." "I mean, the ecstasy, the wonderment" "Listen to me, you sick fuck." "She's been meeting with a cop." "Maybe he's from the tittie squad." "He's Homicide." "Number two she was a secretary at the fbi." "This bitch is poison." "She'll slaughter us." "Make a fool of me?" "Screw yourself bow-legged Davey of the Navy." "Then let us handle it." "I'll be on the top deck." "I thought she cared for me." "We're heavy." "Copy." "No cheating." "One, two, three." "Can't get a break." "You're not very good at this." "All right, Miss Angela." "Six." "She always gets...." "Down, Bowser." "Be patient." "Don't tease me." "Oh, I'm not teasing." "You just sit back relax, have another drink because tonight is the night." "It sure is." "Who are you?" "I want my daughter." "What?" "Chico!" "How did you get on board?" "My lil' 'un." "I want her." "Your "lil' 'un" whoever she is, is not here." "Chico!" "Damn." "Look...." "Now, there's a sight to raise the dead." "Who's that old freak?" "Hold on a second." "I know who that is." "Is that that guy from Price is Right?" "You got my daughter." "And now you try and kill me with a axe." "I don't have your daughter." "You're confused." "And it's "an axe."" "Well, I'm stoned but I ain't confused." "Stole my lil' 'un!" "Before we make love, I wish to shave you." "I don't need a shave." "'Evening, partygoers." "Where's Erin?" "I don't hear you." "Shit." "Mommy okay?" "She's fine." "We're on our way." "We'll pick her up right now." "We'll play card games, have some fun." "She won't like this." "She told me" "I don't give a shit what she said." "How could you let her go there alone?" "I thought you were in jail." "I made my bail." "Is this son of a bitch your husband" "Hang on." "Here's your nickel." "Nice dance." "Would you please just get out of here?" "No!" "Are you that guy from Price is Right?" "No." "I'm Congressman David Dilbeck." "Congressman!" "No shit!" "No." "I steal wheelchairs..." "...so we got a lot in common." "Yeah." "I'm getting tired." "Think I just killed a lying weasel." "You did what?" "Beat him with this here club." "Well, then, get out!" "Leave us alone." "I'm about to mount this here beauty." "Maybe not." "You're talking about my wife." "It's time for us to take a little drive." "Malcolm." "Move it." "Move it." "Yes, ma'am." "Get on with it." "Keep quiet." "Shit, look at this, man." "Help me, you assholes." "Help!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "I voted against gun control because weapons could end up in the wrong hands." "Will you please shut up?" "What?" "It doesn't start." "We are in trouble." "Oh, no." "That fracture looks bad." "Let's drop him off at the doctor." "We're not dropping anybody anywhere." "My big sister Rita done up my arm." "Oh, really?" "I'm a great believer in family." "Do you have a pen and paper?" "Didn't feel the way I thought it would, killing a man." "Killing a man?" "Felt terrible." "I want you to write something." "What?" "I want you to give me custody of Angela." "No way." "You'll be in jail for what you did tonight and I won't have that child placed in a foster home for one minute." "So please a simple note:" ""l, Darrell Grant..."" "I love that lil' 'un." "I know you do." ""...give full custody..."" "You do?" "Yes, I do." "Let's do this for her." "Let's not put her at risk anymore." ""...to my wife..." ""..." "Erin Grant."" "Okay." "Good boy." "You know, you write quite poorly." "Are you a high-school graduate?" "Darrell." "Shit." "Everybody just stay put, all right?" "This girl is nuts." "My prostate doctor said that I have to urinate whenever possible." "Then go relieve yourself over there." "Go." "Pierre, just stay with him and...." "Darrell." "Shit." "Okay." "Darrell, wake up." "Come on." "Here." "You gotta sign this." "Sign your name." "That's all you gotta do before you get arrested." "Come on." "Sign your name." "There you go." "Darrell Grant." "Good boy." "Good." "That's right." "I'm back." "No more teasing." "Finally." "What?" "Finally, you take me like a man." "Like a congressman." "I knew you cared for me." "Malcolm didn't know what he was talking about." "Now take me." "Here?" "No." "I've got a special spot picked out for us." "Get that music box for me, will you, honey?" "Sure." "Sorry, boss." "Shut up, you nitwit!" "Don't explain." "A goddamn stripper's about to bring us all down." "How do I look?" "Not bad." "What happened to him?" "I hit him in the head with a rock." "Who's the man?" "You're the man." "You are the man and, oh, so strong." "Well, here we are." "Here?" "You ever make it on a pile of sugar before?" "No, but I'm willing to try." "Well, you're in for a treat." "You're in for a treat too, darling." "Just let me put some music on while you take off those pretty little pants." "You better put on some blast goggles 'cause you're in for an overwhelming sight." "Shit, radio for help!" "What do I tell them?" "Dilbeck abducted a woman?" "They'll shut off the radios to go help him." "So we're it." "A cop and a bouncer." "Plus two strippers and a kid." "We're in great shape." "And two!" "How come here?" "Why not at that yacht?" "I'm kind of private." "I don't like people watching." "Me neither." "I don't like anything kinky." "I know, 'cause you're a real man." "I knew it when poor Jerry was killed and Shad's lawyer." "I said, Davey's the real thing." "A m-a-n." "Man." "Anyone tries to blackmail you, you got to deal with it." "You've got to be hard and firm." "And you can dance." "Marry me." "What?" "Marry me." "Just say it." "You are married." "I know." "I'd leave my wife in a heartbeat." "She wouldn't care." "She doesn't like me, anyhow." "This is very sudden, Davey, and I got a lot to think about." "I'd make you proud of me." "I know you would." "When Jerry said, "l'm gonna shake down Congressman Dilbeck..."" "...and I said, "Are you crazy?" ""Blackmail a real man like that?"" "I said to Malcolm, "Just do what you have to do." "To Jerry." ""That fat lawyer." "Just do it."" ""Just do it! " -"Just do it! " And he did..." "...didn't he?" "He sure did." "You idiot!" "Shit!" "Hi, Malcolm." "How you doing?" "I'd like to introduce you to my fiancée." "This is Miss Erin Grant." "Sorry, Davey, you both have to go." "Willie's orders." "You are sick." "Murder-suicide, Miss Grant." "Suicide?" "Hell of a story, isn't it?" "A congressman and a stripper." "Excuse me?" "What did you call me?" "A stripper." "Dancer, asshole." "George Bush!" "That's not him." "I've seen George Bush." "That doesn't look anything like him." "Drop them." "You got till three." "One." "What, are you nuts?" "Yeah, psycho." "Delusions of invincibility combined with a strong homicidal urge." "I have a kick-your-ass fetish." "Two." "Goddamn it!" "'Evening, everyone." ""Postman, postman..." ""...do your duty." ""Send this letter to..." ""...an American beauty."" "You're now under arrest for a variety of charges." "I need some coffee." "Let's start with homicide." "You're not arresting anyone." "Black." "No sugar." "I said no sugar." "You know, you have a serious dandruff problem." "Ladies!" "Mama!" "Baby!" "You okay, Mama?" "I'm fine, baby." "See how you could get tendinitis?" "Congressman, you called a news conference?" "Holy shit!" "Thank you." "Thank you." "There comes a time in every public figure's career when he has to think about his future." ""Jerry." ""That fat lawyer." ""Just do it!" And he did!" "You idiot!" "Do you know how nuts this was?" "We're going, baby." "Thank you." "For all your help." "Likewise." "You keep me posted on what you decide to do." "Maybe I'll run for Congress." "There'll be a seat open now, maybe you should." "Talk to you soon." "Yeah, stay in touch." "Shouldn't have done this without me." "It won't happen again.(Rip By KOPYCD)"