" THEODORE:" "Okay, I put in a new bag, and plugged it in, so all I have to do is... turn on... ahh!" "Ahh!" "Ahh!" " Theodore, you aren't supposed to be vacuuming." "I asked Alvin to do it." " Well, he said he had something really, really, really important to do." "Wait, was that three reallys or four?" "Because Alvin said..." " Where is he?" " ALVIN:" "Cheesy, would I lie?" "All right, all right, well, you don't need to take it personal now." " Alvin, come on, I want you to come up here now and clean your room like I asked." " You absolutely... and I'll be right there." "I'm wrapping up this super important homework call." "Yes, she did." "She thinks you're cute." "Give her a call." "Don't worry, I'll put in a good word with the coach." "He and I go way, way back." "Chloe, you know, you just have this "je ne sais quoi."" "I believe that's Portuguese." "It'll be mucho fabuloso." "That's Italian." " DAVE:" "Alvinnn!" " ALVIN: [gasping]" " From now on, your phone is under lock and key." " Oh, boy, Dave just took Alvin's phone." " But... but... but, Dave, what if there's an emergency, and, you know, I'm in the middle of nowhere?" "Oh, thank goodness I have my phone." "Let me just call Dave." "Oh, wait, I can't!" "Dave, Dave, I hope you can hear me!" " Oh, ho, he's trying to deflect with fear." " Well, that's... that's a good point, Alvin." "Maybe you should just stay home." " What?" "No!" " Okay, look, you've been on your phone way too much lately and you're not doing your chores..." " I can explain." " ... or your homework!" " I can explain that, too." " [gasps] He's about to lie through his teeth." " You'll just have to live without your phone for the next week." " Oh, man, Dave is layin' down the law." " For a week?" " Alvin, when I was your age, I..." " Uh-oh, Dave's talking about his childhood." " Oh, man..." " That's not good." " I didn't have a phone and I still saw my friends and had a great time." "I'm sure you can do the same." " Dave, of course, I can." "That's not the question." "The question is:" "Do I want to?" "You know, to that, I'd have to say "no."" " Alvin!" " All right." "All right." "Seven days without a phone." " He's not gonna make it, is he?" " OTHERS:" "Nope!" " [school bell ringing]" " Oh, Alvin, check out this Baby GaGa video." "It has like a trillion views." " Yeah, yeah, well..." "don't tell anyone, but my dad took my phone away." " What?" "Your dad took your phone away?" " What?" " That's so mean." " It's so unfair." " I know." "Right?" " Hey, everyone, look at my new phone." " G-G-G-Guys?" " Cool!" " Yeah, yeah, well, you know what?" "I don't need a phone." "How about that?" "[sighing] Oh, my life is over." " Oh, so is mine." "You'll get used to it." " [owl hooting]" " Hello?" "Is anyone there?" "I have no phone." " Hey, has anyone heard from Alvin?" " Guys, let's call him about it." " No, no, he's off the grid." " When's the party?" " What party?" " I heard Alvin threw his cell phone away." " [overlapping comments]" " No, Dave took it from me." " Gosh, he's really missing out." " I don't wanna miss out." " He's gonna miss the party." " Can anybody hear me?" "[crying]" " What's wrong, Alvin?" " Now that I don't have a phone," "I'm just losing every friend I ever had." "I'm watching my life pass me by." "But I can't take a picture of it, if I don't have a phone." "[crying]" " Oh, Alvin..." "Maybe... maybe Simon can help." " Really?" "How could Simon help?" " Oh, I think I said, um... nothing." "Never mind." " Theodore, what does Simon have?" " Uh, well..." " All this time you've had a secret phone?" " Huh?" " Here I am cut off from the rest of the world and my own brother, sleeping just a few feet away, says nothing?" " Are ya finished?" " It, you know, depends." "Are you gonna hand me the phone?" " Hm, let me think about that." "Nope." " So, this is how you're gonna play it?" "We both know I'm gonna get that phone and here's why." "One, I'm asking nicely." "Two, I'm your brother." "Reason 179, I need to call my friends!" " Oh, fine!" "I give up." " So, what is this?" " It's my latest invention..." "the Nano Phone." "But, you know, I haven't tested it completely." " All right." "Well, how does it work?" " Tap once to get a dial tone, say the name of the person you wanna speak to, and then tap twice to hang up." " Amber." "Amber." "It's me, Alvin." "Oh, guess who's back in the game." " AMBER:" "OMG, this is fantastic." " Are you talking to someone?" " Me?" "Me?" "Dave, how can I talk to anybody?" "I don't have a phone." "Hello?" "Is anybody there?" "'Cause I have nothing in my hand." "Do you see me with a phone?" "No." "I can't be talking to anyone, can I?" "It's just me." "I'm talking to myself." "Hey, uh, Alvin, wanna come over?" "Sure." "Sure." "What you doing?" "Oh, nothing." "No plans, you know." "No cell phone." "How about you?" "Yeah, no cell phone, not me." "And then, you know, what about the orangutan that, you know, plays the flute?" "How funny was that?" "It was even funnier than the goat on the harmonica." "And I must have watched that thing like ten times." " [earpiece beeps]" " Hey, I was talking to Amber." " She's right over there." " I don't care." "I like to call her on my new phone." " We need to talk about homework." " No!" " Yes." " [cell phone static, chatter]" " Hello?" "What?" "Who is..." "Huh?" "Simon, now look what you've done." "I'm hearing voices." " Wait, what do you mean?" " I'm pretty sure I'm hearing" "Miss Smith and the principal talking." "Is that possible?" " Oh, no." "You must be picking up their cell phone frequencies." "It must be a glitch." "I told you I haven't worked everything out." " Shhh, Simon, I'm trying to eavesdrop." "Oh, no, it can't be!" "I've gotta warn the class!" " Alvin?" "Warn them about what?" " Listen up!" "There's a pop quiz in five minutes." " Oh, no!" " We're not ready." " Are you kidding?" " This is your best invention yet." " You are awesome, Alvin." " That's what I've been trying to tell you guys." " You're my hero." " Okay, give me the phone." " Hm, let me think..." "Nope!" " Alvin!" " Oh, and Chloe Glockenflocker really thinks you're cute." "Her words." "Not mine." " Alvin, you can't listen to other people's private conversations." "Alvin?" "Alvin?" " ♪" "♪ I hear you talking talking talking ♪" "♪ And you just won't stop" "♪" "♪ Yeah he's moving, moving, moving ♪" "♪ Yeah he never gives up" "♪" " ALVIN:" "Guess what?" "♪ They made some major moves just because they can ♪" "♪ I hear you talking now" "♪ I hear you talking" "♪ I hear you talking now" "♪ I hear you talking" "♪ Are you listening?" "♪ Aren't you... ♪ Are you listening?" "♪ Aren't you... ♪ Are you listening?" "♪ Aren't you..." " I heard you're getting an "A" in History, but a "C" in Math." " Oh." " She's sorry for what she did." "She just doesn't know how to tell you." "I heard the coach likes chocolate." "I heard Miss Smith likes fruitcake." "I heard the principal likes kale." " We heard it, too." " Let me guess." "You're talking about Alvin." "What did he do now?" "He told Amber that I had a crush on Jamie Atwater." "And it's so not true." "Well, maybe just a little." "Okay, okay, I do." "But now everybody knows because of Alvin and I'm so embarrassed." "[crying]" "But I don't cry." "There are things that get to me." "But how did Alvin know?" "The only person I told was Natasha and she took an oath of secrecy." " Oh, all right, um, well..." "I can explain that." " He's doing what?" "Oh, so, that's why he's suddenly become Mr. Popular... knowing everything everyone wants to know." " Well, that's, you know, it's sort of my fault, really." " There's no time for that now." "What we have to do is Operation Simon." " Oh, I like the sound of that." " To sprinkle everyone with nutmeg?" " If you don't have nutmeg, Mom, just get it for me." " Simon Deville, this is Dr. Pinkincall from the C.H.I.P. labs." "I'm calling you in regards to your invention, the Nano Phone, which you sent in for testing." " Oh, yes, yes." "Thank you." "Thank you, doctor." "I was wondering, uh, what you found." " Destroy it, Mr. Seville!" "Destroy it now!" " Oh, but... but... but why?" "It's just a phone, doctor." " Oh, if only it were just a phone." "The side effects of that device are catastrophic!" "At first, test subjects are excited to eavesdrop and pry into people's personal conversations." "But quickly, symptoms start to emerge." "The subject begins to grow tired, and their eyes grow red." "Suddenly, they start to itch everywhere." "They lose track of time and start howling." " [howling]" " Soon they're acting like a wild beast." " Really?" "You don't say." " Oh, oh, I say." "I say it was horrible." "But that's not the worst part." " There's more?" " Oh, yes, it gets much, much worse." "You lose your singing voice forever." "And then your head blows off... just like that." "It just explodes!" " Oh, do you think he heard, Brittany?" " Well, we'll know soon enough." " ALVIN: [screaming]" "Dave!" "Get it out!" "Get it out!" "I'm itching!" "I can't stand it!" "Get it out!" " What?" "Get what out?" " Am I exploding yet?" "Hurry, hurry, before my head explodes!" "I didn't need to listen." "I was weak." "I couldn't resist." "Oh, I don't wanna be a mindless, red-eyed, throbbing wild beast that can't sing." "It's happening!" "It's happening!" "It's happening!" "It's happening!" " Is this what you're talking about?" " Dave!" "Thank you!" "Quick, Dave, we have to destroy it." "Just kick it!" "You're not gonna get anything." "That is the end of that!" " Hey, Alvin, it's been a week." "You can have your phone back." " No!" "Keep that thing away from me!"