"Harry!" "Thank God you called." "Kate, where are you now?" "Oh, I'm on the way." "I'll be there in 20 minutes." "How is she?" "I don't know." "The veterinarian won't let me see her." "Well, what did they say?" "She was hit by a car." "That's all they know." "Oh!" "Oh, God." "They think her back legs are broken." "My poor baby." "I don't know how it happened." "How did she get out of the yard?" "Maria must have left the gate open." "I don't think so." "I checked it myself." "Where are you now?" "Oh, I'm, uh..." "I'm going past the ranger station." "Oh, God, if something's happened to her, I will never forgive myself." "Just hurry!" "I'm..." "I'm going as fast as I can." "MONK Season 1 Epi. 03 Mr. Monk and the Psychic" " Whoa." "Press pass?" " No." " Are you on the list?" " No." "Sorry, I can't let you in." "Officer, this is Adrian Monk." "Sorry, sir." "I didn't know." "Can we stand over there?" "We don't like to be touched." "Adrian." "Adrian!" "Come on." "As you can imagine, the past three days have been very difficult, very painful for the entire department." "Our prayers are with the Ashcombe family." "The former commissioner is here and has asked to say a few words." "Commissioner." "It's been 72 hours since my wife Katherine disappeared." "I wanna thank everyone for their prayers and good wishes." "It's meant the world to me." "There's someone out there who knows what happened to my wife." "I'm asking you to look into your heart and to come forward with any information you might have." "To Kate." "If you can hear this, hang in there, baby." "I love you." "Don't give up." "Monk, what are you doing here?" "I wanna help." "You wanna help?" "Say a prayer for the man." "I can do more than that, Captain." "You know I can." "Can you imagine what that man's going through?" "Yes, I can." "Come on." "Follow me." "Commissioner." "Harry." " Adrian Monk." " Yes, of course." "How are you, Detective?" " Former detective." " Not for long, I hope." "We miss you." "Thank you for coming." "Sir, if there's anything that I can do, I'm available 24-7." "I appreciate that." "I've become pretty familiar with this type of crime." "There is no crime yet, Monk." "This is a Missing Persons case." "Of course." "I know." "I know that." "And I'm sorry." "Adrian." "I just mean, if worse comes to worse, and I pray it never does," "I think I could be a real asset here." "You won't be sorry, sir." "He is the best." "Well, how can I not accept an offer from Adrian Monk?" "Leland, see that he gets a copy of the file and full access." " Yes, sir." " Welcome aboard, Detective." "Thank you, sir." "Thank you." "Where am I?" "Where the hell..." "She was calling me." "She led me here." "See, that's the way it happens sometimes." "I was driving the car, but her aura was guiding me." "Write that down, Lieutenant." "It was her aura." "And then I woke up, and I was right here." "See, she wanted me to find her." "She didn't want to lie for the rest of eternity under all that mud." " Can you blame her?" " And you never met Mrs. Ashcombe?" "No, never met her..." "not until this morning." "And do you know her husband at all?" "Never had the honor." "Is there anything else you can tell us, Miss Flint?" "Hell's bells, Captain." "You can call me Dolly." " You've known me for 20 years." " Hello, Dolly." "Did he tell you?" "He arrested me three times..." "bunco and fraud." "You always thought I was a quack, didn't ya, huh, Captain?" "Never thought I'd actually find somebody." "Oh, hi!" "Excuse me?" "Can you get a picture of me with the car?" " Hey." " I'm just gonna..." " Hey, no, Dolly." "Dolly." "He is a police photographer." "He's not from the National Enquirer." " Right this way." " Can't I just have one shot?" " What are you doing?" " Look at this." "What?" " Looks like something was maybe dragged along here." "Something metal." "That could be anything." "But you see where the car ended up." "If you imagine the trajectory, it doesn't make sense." "Don't complicate things, Monk." "She was probably doing 70 or 75 miles an hour when she missed the turn." "Hey, did you hear who found the car?" "I heard." "Dolly Flint." "Crazy Dolly." "Can you believe that?" "No, I can't." "Monk doesn't believe in psychics." "I believe in what I can see." "I believe in what's in front of me." "You know how I found out that my ex was still seeing his old girlfriend?" "Please, tell us." "A psychic told me." "And that's a true story, and it was the best 35 bucks I ever spent." "Thirty-five bucks?" "There have been cases..." "documented cases... where psychics have found missing kids, bodies." " It happens." " Of course it happens!" "A thousand psychics making 10,000 predictions a year, two or three of them have to be right." "Here he is." "You know, I was the best man at their wedding." " Really?" "This is gonna kill him." "Kill him." "God." " That's strange." " What?" "She went off the road here, but look at the tree." "The tree's intact." "No broken branches." "Harry, I really don't think you should look." "Why not?" "Because you should remember her like she was." "Leland, I have to see her." "I have to say good-bye." "Katherine!" "Hi." " Commissioner, this is Dolly Flint." "She found your wife's body." "Yes, of course." "It's amazing." "I can't thank you enough." "I just wished I could have found her before she crossed over." "Adrian, don't you want a closer look?" "No, I-I can see from here." "Would you like us to move the crash site a little closer to you?" "No, I'm fine." "Hi!" " You found the body?" " Yeah." "Are you a reporter?" "Miss Flint?" "Hello." "My name is Sharona Fleming." "And this is my friend..." "oh, excuse me... my boss," "Adrian Monk." "He was consulting on the case before you showed up to solve it." "Why is he, uh, staring at me?" "I know." "It's a little creepy if you don't know him." "Excuse me." "Uh, Miss Flint." "I just have to say that it is an honor to meet you." "I can't tell you how much money I have wasted on those TV psychics." "But you really have the power." "I mean, a gift." "Well, apparently." "Can I call you sometime for a private reading?" "Oh, yeah." "But listen." "The rates on my card no longer apply." "They've gone up, as of about two hours ago." "Here's one for you, Mr. Monk." "I'll take it to him." "Maybe I could help you with, uh, one of your cases sometime." " Ciao." " Bye." "Hold still." "Hold still." "It's not the end of the world." "Did you see that?" "It's just a little mud." "No." "She moved her seat forward." "When she got in the car, she moved her seat." "Oh, I'm sorry." "I thought this was my office." "Yeah, see, I'm confused because my name is on the door." "Don't..." "Don't blame Sharona, Captain." "I have no intention of blaming Sharona." "I was just following up on the Ashcombe case." "What happened here?" "I took the liberty of straightening up a little." " Where is all my crap?" " It's in your drawers." "And, of course, I had to throw some stuff away." "I'm sorry, sir." "I tried to stop him, but..." "There is no Ashcombe case, Monk." "The inquest is over." "This is what happened." "It was raining." "She was a terrible driver." "She went off the road." "A mud slide covered the car until.." "Until the biggest flake in North America just happened to find it." "And you can't stand that, can you?" "Dolly Flint... showed you up, and you can't stand it." "Adrian, sit!" "We have Dolly Flint's file." "I know she has a jacket." "I made three of those collars myself." "Fraud, trespassing, reckless endangerment." "Yeah, she has a sleep disorder." "She walks in her sleep." "She's got, um..." "what do you call it... som..." "Do you know how many cases Dolly Flint offered to help with and failed?" "Two hundred and twenty." "So, she's one for 220." "It's possible." " No, it's not." " Yes, it is." "She was photographed..." "going through a red light last night." "She was alone in the car." "It happened." "I'm not good at parties." "It's not a party." "It's a memorial service." "This is a nice place." "Obviously, whoever lives here doesn't work for you." "The late Mrs. Ashcombe was richer than Canada." "Commissioner, I thought this might help." "When I lost Trudy, I..." "I read it every night." ""Ralph Waldo Emerson."" " Yes, sir." " Thank you, Adrian." "And thank you for coming." "It means the world to me." "It looks like we won't require your services after all." "But I want you to know how much I appreciate your offer." "Thank you." " Hold on." " No, no, bathroom." "Bathroom!" " I need to wash." " Just try upstairs." "Did you see that?" "It was a two-hander." "I saw it." "Just don't make a scene." "The guest bathroom is down the hall." "Commissioner!" "I'm sorry." "Uh, I was..." "I was, uh..." "I was..." "I was just..." "I mean, later... after... you know, before when we..." "I..." "Okay, here's the thing." "I can remember when you began this sentence." "Everyone gets lost." "The house was always too big for Katherine and me." "We didn't buy it." "It was a wedding gift from her father." "Ah." "You understand, right?" "I mean, you lost your wife." "Uh, understand what, sir?" "The natural desire to pack her things away." "You don't want them around to..." "remind you." "I guess I had the opposite reaction." "I haven't thrown anything of Trudy's away." "Not even a hairbrush." "Not even a hair from a hairbrush." "Really?" "So, uh, what, he leaves the house like twice a week now?" "What kind of question is that, hmm?" "He leaves the house all the time." "He's not disabled." "He just gets a little anxious about..." "Every single thing." "Well, you know, the fact is... we're getting offers from all over the country every day." "I had to disconnect my phone." "It was driving me crazy." "Sure." "What are you doing?" "You can't look through people's mail." "I'm not stealing anything." "I'm just combing through." "I don't wanna live in a world where a person can't comb through another person's mail." "Just hurry up." ""Jennie Zeppettelli."" "Smell that." "Perfume." "Shalimar." "It's very expensive." "Obviously, an old girlfriend." "She loved him, but it's over now." "How do you know all that?" "I've never underlined anything six times." "Have you?" "I agree, Jennifer." "He did waste the best five years of your life." "How did you know what I was thinking?" "You were looking at the empty bottles of Beaujolais." "They're dated, one for each of the last five years." "They obviously represent anniversaries." "And I saw you feel your ring finger, which doesn't have a ring." "Are you a psychic, Mr. Monk?" "He is a psychic who doesn't believe in psychics." "Jennifer, we know you were having an affair with Harry Ashcombe." " Is it over?" " I wised up." "It only took five years." "I realized Harry was never gonna leave his wife." "And not because he loved her." "I mean, he despised her." "He just couldn't live without the money." "When did you see him last?" "About four months ago." "But he calls me all the time and he sends me gifts." "I mean, what happened to his wife, it wasn't my fault." "He's just..." "He's crazy." "You mean the accident?" "You don't believe it was an accident?" "I don't know." "All I know is that Harry Ashcombe is a very dangerous man." "I hope you know what you're doing." "Do we know what we're doing?" "Relax." "I've been handling refrigerators since I was 15." "No." "I'm talkin' about the case." "The former commissioner isn't just another suspect, Adrian." "He is connected." "He is the man, and you better be sure about this." "I'm as sure as I can be... without any, you know, proof." "All ofher stuff was packed up." "He couldn't wait to get rid of it." "But that doesn't mean anything." "There were boots in the closet that were covered with mud." ""Good until July 22."" ""Sell by July 20."" "You really think he forced his wife off the road?" " Yep." " Any idea how?" "Unless I'm crazy, he put something on the road that sent her over the side." "Now, that was the easy part." "The hard part came later." "What's that?" "Getting that loony tune, Dolly Flint, to find the body." "That's the real mystery here." " How did he do that?" " Well, you can ask her." "I got a reading with her at 3:00." "Why don't you come along?" "Maybe I will." "Hmm." "Very positive person." "Very spiritual." "That's true." " Mm-hmm." "Hmm." "But you've been troubled." "You're having trouble sleeping." "Am I right?" "Yeah." "Yeah." " Uh-huh." "You can tell all that from the bumps in my head?" "It's called phrenology." "See, the shape of your head is like a spiritual road map." " You just have to know how to read it." " Feels good." "Shh." "Okay." "There's a young man in your life." "That would be my son." "His name's Benjy." " Oh." "And another man." "He's not young, but he's..." "he's like a child." "That would be my boss." " Mmm." "This is a very difficult man." " He's causing you a lot of anxiety." " Yeah." "I just don't wanna talk about him right now, please?" " Okay, all right." "Yeah, this is another man... a new man." " Oh, honey, this is a real man." " Really?" "Yeah." "What was that?" "Wait." "Let's..." "Let's talk about that man." "Where's your friend, Mr. Monk?" "Mr. Monk." "I thought you were in the waiting room." "I was thirsty." "Yeah?" "Well, you should have asked." "Excuse the mess." "My cleaning girl got herself knocked up by some guy from Paraguay." "Can you believe it?" "What do they call them anyway, "Paraguians"?" "Here you go." "You know what?" "I'm fine." "It was..." "It was just a cough... drop... stuck in my throat there, but I'm fine now." " Thank you." " Suit yourself." "Why don't you come and join us?" "Hmm." "Mm-hmm." "The Chariot." "You are a very restless soul." "Oh." "Now this is interesting." "The Knight of Pentacles." "Is that good?" "Well, it confirms what I felt earlier..." "romance." "You know anyone with a British accent?" " No." " You will... very soon." "A British accent, huh?" "He's not gonna look like that, is he?" "No, I don't think so." "No, he's gonna be tall, and his name is Derek..." "David." "Congratulations." "I'm sure you'll both be deliriously happy." "Miss Flint, about finding Mrs. Ashcombe..." "I didn't find anybody." "Her spirit led me to her." "Of course." "Yeah, of course." "Did you know her before she died?" "No, I never met her, and I've been through this about a million times." " No, I understand..." " Excuse me." "Um, about the man with the accent, how will I know it's him?" "Oh, well, you'll know, like all women know." "You just have to keep an open heart, Sharona." " So, she wasn't a client?" " No." "Uh, Dolly?" "You said soon." "You mean, like this week or next week?" " Um..." "I'd say before the next full moon." "I'm sorry, but, uh, uh, here on the planet Earth, there's a dead woman and..." "somebody is responsible." "It was an accident, Mr. Monk." "She drove off the highway." "Right." "What exactly do you remember about that night?" "Do you know what you are, Mr. Monk?" "You are, what we in the spiritual world call, a "buzz kill."" "Thank you." " Fine!" "It's your money." "I went to bed." "I have insomnia." "I took my pills." "I finally got to sleep at about, uh, 3:00." "No, it was 3:30." "I was watching Law  Order." "Go on." "And that's it." "I woke up next to Mrs. Ashcombe." "Now I go to bed with my coat on holding my car keys, just in case." "Okay, are you happy now?" "You happy?" "Dolly?" "Dolly, what does he do, like, for a living?" "He has a job, right?" " Sharona, please, please." " What?" "I'm..." "I'm working here." "I'm working here." "What did you do?" "Are you insane?" " I need..." "I need a wipe." " In the car." "Don't do this to me." "Give me a wipe here." "Go to the car and get the wipes." "Go to the car." "Um..." "About this David or Derek, he's not married, is he?" "What is he doing?" "I don't know." "Did you finish all your math?" "You have a weird job." "Benjy, just finish the math." "Mr. Monk, you were right." " It's a perfect match." " Really?" "They're made by a company called Decorative Gravel." "Now that particular color is called Volcanic Tuff." "It's not very popular." "It's from New Mexico." "I talked to the bookkeeper, and she said they only did one, maybe two driveways in the area." "So, if this came from somebody's car, and this one came from somebody's driveway..." "At some point, that car was on that driveway." "You can bet the farm." "Customer service to paint department, please." "So?" "Ashcombe said he never met Dolly Flint, and she said she never met him." "Maybe they both just forgot." "Nobody move." "Nobody move!" "Hello." "Hello." "My name is Adrian..." "Monk." "I'm working with the police on a homicide investigation." "There is a very valuable piece of evidence... somewhere in this store." "It's a small pebble." "It's about the size... of a... small pebble." "If you could all just..." "just stop, please, and look around..." "What..." "What..." "What are you doing?" "Sweeping up." "Okay, where's the rest of it?" " It's not in here.!" " Keep looking." "It's a small, black pebble." "God!" "Wait a minute." "I found it." " I found it." " Where was it?" "It was in my..." "It must've..." "It must've flown." "God!" "I don't believe I listen to you.!" "You're driving me nuts.!" "Adrian, are you sure about this?" "Well, no." "You better be right." "I swear, I'll kill you." "Monk!" "What are you doing here?" "Your housekeeper said we might find you here." "Is the dog okay?" "The dog's fine." "Actually, I was just giving her away." "Oh, my God." "Why?" "Well, she was Katherine's dog." "I'm not much of a pet person." "She'll be... happier here." "You, uh..." "You..." "You didn't return my calls." "Well, I assumed they were more calls of condolences." "Was I wrong?" "L..." "I..." "I had a couple questions, uh, about your wife's death." "Well, I send you a transcript of the inquest and the coroner's report." "Anything else?" "She..." "She was insured, wasn't she?" " Yes." "There was a $2 million accidental death policy." "Now, I know that seems like a lot of money to some people, but considering the lifestyle that we enjoyed, it was not at all excessive." " Is there anything else?" " I found this... this piece of gravel in the tire of your car." "And, uh, it matches the gravel..." "outside the psychic's house." "Can you explain that?" "Are they unique?" "Oh." "Yes, very." "I don't have to explain it." "Can you explain it?" "Not yet." "You know, it's no big deal, sir." "We were just curious about the gravel." "Uh, Adrian, I think we better go." "We're gonna be late." "You'd better listen to her, Monk." "You're in my way." "That's right." "I am." "Dolly?" "Ready to go in five minutes." "Okay." "What do you want from me, Monk?" "Did that director have a British accent?" "I think so." "What's his name?" "Forget it." "He's gay." "He doesn't know it yet, but forget it." "What do you want from me, Monk?" "How 'bout the truth for a change?" "I have been telling you the truth." "Okay?" "I fell asleep." "I woke up." "Hello!" "There's Mrs. Ashcombe." "There's no smoking." "There's no smoking." " I believe you, Dolly." " Thank you, sweetie." " What's his problem?" " My problem is simple." "It's not possible." "Well, how do you explain it then?" "Miss Flint, this is not a game." "If you are somehow involved..." "Involved?" "How?" "With your friend, Harry Ashcombe." "I met the man once for 30 seconds." "You were there!" "He's been to your house." " Impossible." " I can prove it." "I think I'd remember." "Dolly, we're talking about premeditated, first-degree murder." "I think Ashcombe killed his wife, and then recruited you to find the body." "That's accessory after the fact, aiding and abetting... these are very serious charges." " I am not a criminal." " I've seen your rap sheet." "You're not exactly Mother Teresa." "That is just nickel-and-dime stuff." "Come on.!" "You wanna know the truth?" "I'm not sure my heart could take it." "Come here." "Mr. Monk, when I woke up on that hill," "I couldn't believe it myself." "The truth is..." "I'm a fake." "I never really had the gift." "Don't tell the girl." "I wanted it." "I pretended to have it." "Once in a while when I was a kid, I thought I actually did have it." "But the only gift I had was telling people what they wanted to hear." "It was a sham my entire life." "Until Tuesday." "That was the real deal, Monk." "I swear on my sainted mother's eyes, Mrs. Ashcombe led me to that car." "I always wanted to help the cops, you know." "Like really help them on a big case." "And I did it!" "Maybe I'm just a late bloomer." "Whatever the case, this time I am telling you the truth." "We got a break in an hour." "Let's try and get it together, please." " What is wrong?" " You wanna know what's wrong?" "I'll tell you what's wrong." "I believe you." "Hello?" " Have you been talking to the police?" " No." "Don't lie to me, Jennie." "Hey, Monk." "Monk, I've been looking for you." "How did you know we were here?" "Sharona's kid told me." "I have a message for you." "Benjy wants to have a sleepover at Drew Cunningham's house." " Are his parents gonna be home?" " I don't know." " Did he call from Drew's?" " I have no idea." "You've been talking to the commissioner." " Where did you park?" " Where did I park?" "I parked up top." "Monk, I told you not to talk to him." "The man just buried his wife." "Why didn't you take the service road?" "It comes all the way down." "I couldn't find it." "The last time I was here, I had a driver, okay?" "Couldn't find it." "Yeah, neither could we." " So what?" " Dolly Flint found it." "She'd never been here before, and she found it." "Before dawn?" "How is that possible?" "She's psychic." "A little bird told her." "I don't know." " Leland." "I'm talking to the best cop I know." "You gotta get on board here." "Ashcombe was sleeping around." "That's common knowledge." "Sharona, could you take a break, please?" "Please?" "He had muddy boots in his closet." "I have muddy boots in my closet." "Look, I knew you were crazy, but I didn't know you were suicidal." "Did you accuse Harry Ashcombe of murder to his face?" "Not in so many words." "Well, there goes your career." "What career?" " Exactly." "And you wonder why you're not wearing a badge." "Here's what happened." "Ashcombe did his wife, but he had a problem." "There was a mud slide that night." "The car was buried." "He couldn't collect a dime until they found her." "What could he do?" "He couldn't just say, "Maybe we should dig over there."" "Somebody else had to find her." " So he paid Dolly Flint?" " Too dangerous." "She'd never keep her mouth shut." "Ashcombe... arranged for her to find the body." "Right." "But how did he do that?" "I think I know." "Can you prove it?" "Only if you help me." "Everyone, please concentrate." " Ah, it's faint." " What is this?" "It's coming through." "Leland, what's going on here?" "Who let you in?" "You did." "I talked to your lawyer, Harry." "We have full unrestricted access." "I thought you were just gonna look around." "Shh, please." "Her aura is very strong." "She's here." "I can feel her." "Complete the ring." "Mr. Monk, complete the ring." "Uh, I think the ring is fine." "Mr. Monk, we need you." "Complete the ring." "Who am I speaking to?" "Tell me." "What is your name?" "There's a woman reported missing in San Anselmo." "A travel agent." "A 32-year-old Jennie Zeppettelli." "Jennie?" " Yeah." "We contacted Miss Flint after the success she had with your wife." " We thought we'd use her again." " And?" "And... she's been on her trail all day." "We followed her here." "We think she's in your house." " You can't be serious." " Jennie?" "Is that you?" "She's here." "Oh, she's in pain." "I can feel her." "There's something in this room." "Look!" "Sharona, don't touch it!" "A sandal, size six." " What?" " According to her sister, she was wearing sandals when she disappeared." " Is that blood?" " Yeah, it looks like it." " Bag it." " This is insane!" "How did that get here?" "She's close." "She's very close." "Are you all right?" "Stay away." "It's Jennie." "She's here." "There's nothing here!" "What is it, Dolly?" "What is it?" "It's blood." "And hair." "Human." "That's impossible." " Lieutenant." " I got it." "Jennie?" "She's calling me." "I'm coming!" "Oh, no." "Oh, my God." "Oh, dear God." "No.!" " Jennie.!" "Oh, my God.!" "I swear..." "Stand back, Commissioner." "This is a crime scene." "He did it." "He killed her." "Me?" "Are you crazy?" "I loved this woman!" "He invited her here." "She said it was over." "He exploded." "She tried to run away, but he chased her down." "No!" " He grabbed the poker." "And then he straddled her, and he was just pounding... just pounding her!" " No, she's crazy!" " She says... now at least she can be with Abigail." "Abigail is what she named her unborn baby." "Last summer, you made her have an abortion." "How do you know that?" "She knows everything." "She's psychic." "Leland, don't listen to her." "This..." "This is some kind of a trick.!" "She's a fake.!" " She's not a fake." " Yes, she is!" " She found your wife's body." " No, she didn't!" " She did." "I was there." " No, no, no!" "She didn't find anything!" "I drove her there!" "You drove her?" "Is that what you said?" " Did you hear that, Captain?" " L..." "I..." "Look, Leland..." "Hello, Harry." "I told you you'd be sorry." "When I told Jennie what we were trying to do here, she was anxious to help." "She knew you had to be stopped." "A mud slide... that was your problem." "Somebody other than yourself had to find Katherine's body." "So you went looking for just the right psychic." "And Dolly Flint was the perfect choice." "From her file, you knew that she took medication to help her sleep." "What did you use, chloroform?" "Something to keep her sleeping." "You put on a wig." "You drove her to the crash site." "You even ran a red light or two to make sure you were seen." "In the morning, she woke up... and found your wife." "I have nothing to say." "That's quite all right, sir." "You've said enough." "Harry, I'm going to advise you of your rights." "You have the right to remain silent." "Anything you say can be used against you in a court oflaw." "How did you know she was a fake?" "Who?" "Dolly?" "Dolly Flint?" "They're all fakes." "You gotta be a little skeptical, Sharona, otherwise, you end up believing in everything..." "U. F. O. S, elves, income tax rebates." "Well, it's better than believing in nothing." " I feel sorry for you." " Thank you." " Don't pet..." "Don't pet..." "Don't pet..." " Oh, it's so..." "Come here." " Winston." "Here, boy." " Is he yours?" " Yes, he is." " What kind of dog is he?" "Not worth the trouble." "That's what kind." "Are you British?" " Guilty." "Oh, God." "I'm Sharona." " Hi." "And this is my friend..." "Adrian." "Adrian Monk." "And, um, you are?" " Daniel." " Oh, Daniel." "With a "D."" "Adrian, I notice you touching all the poles." "Is that an American thing?" "Yes, that's an American tradition." "I'm touching all the poles because I'm proud to be an American." "Excuse my asking, but are you two together?" "Me..." "Me and Monk?" "No." "No, we're not." "It's not..." "It's not that funny." "Yes, it is pretty funny."