"Oh, me and Tagi.." "We have so much fun together" "The thing about Jeremy is.." "Ok, well of course, he's got uber micro.. he pwns at games" "But that he's so confident.. y'know?" "And, he is so good with his hands.." " So, how do you feel about all those Myspace girls?" " Like the "Harem of Pwnage"?" "The "Pure Pwnage Grrls"?" "What?" "We're totally honest like about everything.. that's what's really cool" "I mean like, we can just sit back and just be open about stuff y'know?" "Jeremy can you pause that replay for a minute and take over for me?" "I'm just gonna go call my Mom and tell her I'm staying over tonight" "I can't.." "I can't really.." "like.." "I'm just grinding Timbermaw faction.. it's easy" "YaI 'msureit 'seasy,but like.." " Ok well why don't I take over?" "I can do that, I'm sure.." " Now, how do I play?" "Umm.." "Ok well you just press 2 and 3, ok?" " 2 and 3, ya ok that's fine.." "Just don't press anything else.. ok?" " I can do that Yeah.." "Well, my last boyfriend.." "Umm.." "He was addicted to drugs, and.." "It really kinda took over his life, y'know?" "He was constantly trying to escape reality.." "and I couldn't deal with that" "So how's your rogue coming there?" "You almost ready to start vanishing on your group when they're getting in trouble?" "What are you talking about?" "I'm just saying, y'know.." "You don't wanna die, and you can get away scott-free.." "Shut up!" "Who plays a rogue 'cept you're afraid of dying?" "Shut up!" "I'm just saying.. and don't hit me again me by the way, I'll hit you back twice as hard.." "Oh ya?" "You're gonna hit me back?" "I don't mess around.." "When I kiss her and stuff, it just.." "makes me just want to like.." "just like pwn something.. y'know?" "Stop it!" "Stop it!" "That's not fair!" "Mostly I guess, y'know I'm.. just kinda looking forward to when she feels ready, y'know?" " Ready for what?" "Well to like, y'know.. 1v1 me in Zero Hour" " Ya, I can't imagine anything more intimate" "* I am the pwnage, bitches!" "*" "(Translated by:" "Your Name)" " So, what game are you playing now?" "Well I'm just.." "I'm just running through some classics right, like.." "right now I'm playing Tiberian Sun, and.." "lots of wise people, like, they say.." "when you study history you learn stuff about, uhh.." "futures" "Y'know and I'm thinking about my game" "I'm thinking about learning all the stuff that, uhh.." "history learned already.. y'know?" "I'm just making sure, like.." "I know everything that I need to know about stuff" " So when are you going to sleep?" "Anastasia went to bed 4 hours ago.." "Naw.. she was trying to get me to go to bed too.." "She's like "come sleep with me" but I'm like "the bed barely fits two people", I mean.." "We'd be like sleeping all over each other, I'd be all like uncomfortable, so.." "She's got a raid in a couple of hours anyways, so.." "Maybe I can get some sleep then, but.." "I mean really, I've been banking sleep for so long.." " What do you mean "banking sleep"?" "I just mean, like.." "Y'know when I didn't have my PC before, I was sleeping like.. 14, 16.." "maybe 18 hours in a day" "Then y'know I just kinda saved up my sleep, so.." " I don't think that's how it works, I don't think you can save up sleep.." "Kyle I've been awake 116 hours.. you tell me I can't do that" "Look at me.." "I'm good to go" "So Mom was pretty mad about the whole, like.. taking my computer back thing, 'cause.." "Apparently she's trying to teach me some kinda life lesson.." "about how much the world sucked before there were computers, or something" "So y'know.. you got me!" "But like.. y'know I just basically hard countered with some flowers" "Everythings cool now, 'cause to be honest, if you don't know this.." "Flowers are real imbalanced, like.." "no matter what the problem is with girls, you just hit 'em up with some flowers - everything's ok, y'know?" "RL is sometimes a pretty easy game" "So it's pretty cool, y'know.. now that I got my PC" "I'm playing like 42 games like the last 2 months, y'know.." "just kinda pwning 'em all up.. get my skills back and stuff" "It's been real cool, 'cause the Masterer is always kinda like telling me "start playing 2 games at the same time and stuff"" "And now that Tagi's always over with her PC, I'm like.." "totally micro'ing like 2 games at the same time, y'know.." "I just feel like I'm getting like really smarter, y'know.. as I divide my brain and stuff" "Just pwning it up" "So y'know how in the future we're gonna be all like.." "living in tubes and stuff.." "like all like" " Living in what?" "Like in tubes.. y'know like we're gonna like be floating in liquid.." "and we're just gonna have like stuff hooked up to our brain, and we're basically just gonna sit around, like.." "playing games all day long, y'know.." " I don't think that's gonna happen- background: "Oh my God!"" "Well when it does happen, I'm just gonna be like.." "Jeremy!" "?" "Jeremy from Pure Pwnage?" "Ya.." "Oh my God it's totally you!" "Oh my God, oh my God and it's Kyle!" "So are you guys like filming?" "Uhh.. ya, I mean.." "Is this for an episode!" "?" "Ya we're filming episode 11.." "This is so cool!" "I totally love you, y'know like.. in RL" "This is so awesome!" "Oh my God.." "Uhh.. ya, ya.." "I mean, uhh.." "We're just making the show.. uhh, like.." "like we normally do.." "Just kinda walking this way, and stuff.." "This is so awesome, you so totally own" "So, can I like walk with you guys?" " Uhh.. ya I guess so, sure.." " As long as you stay out of the shot Oh!" "Like totally, totally.." "Super!" "Oh my God this is awesome" "Y'know like I was saying, uhh.." "In the future, like.. we're probably gonna have like big.." "y'know, stuff connected to your brain you'll be able to totally pwn n00bs without eve" " Y'know, we don't usually walk with people when we're filming.. we usually just do it by ourselves.." "Hey Pure Pwnage!" "Oh man!" "Jeremy!" "Hey nice to meet ya!" "Oh wow, this is really cool" "And it's Kyle right?" "Right, right?" "Kyle?" "Hey Kyle!" "We're big gamers, totally.." "That's cool.." "This is crazy.. so what are you guys up to?" "We're trying to.. trying to go see Doug and get a falafel, but.." "Oh ya?" "FPS Doug?" "BOOM HEADSHOT!" "Right?" "Right?" "Do you guys wanna come meet FPS Doug!" "?" "Sure!" "Ya!" "That'll be so cool.. y'know we could like all hang" "Boom Headshot!" "Ya!" "This is all your fault Kyle!" " What's all my fault?" "This!" "This is all your fault.. thanks, thanks a lot" " Are you getting mad at me for making you famous?" "Ya, ya I am.. 'cause one day Kyle, it's for your film school class.." "and the next day I can't walk down the street without getting bugged by a bunch of noobs!" " Well ya, the one time a month you leave the house that might happen, sure.." "Thanks Kyle.. well when's the last time a guy watched you pee?" " Wh- what!" "?" "When's the last time a guy watched you pee?" " What does that have to do with anything?" "Well, y'know.." "I was at the restaurant, and.." "going to the bathroom.." "and some guy, he's standing next to me.. he's smiling at me" "Staring at me the whole time.. thought he was gonna touch me or something.." "Y'know it's kinda uncomfortable.. and afterwards he asks for my autograph he's like "Oh you're the guy from the show"" " Jeremy, do you know how happy you made those guys back there?" "Just by shaking their hand?" "Do you know how little I care, Kyle?" "Let's go see Doug.." "Kyle!" "What's up man?" "How's it going?" " Not much.." "So what've you been up to lately besides trying to ditch noobs?" "Oh I dunno, I've been hanging out with Tagi mostly" "What, you gotta like take her out on dates on stuff or what?" "No man, no.. nothing like that" "She brought her PC over and we just kinda play games together.. it's real cool" "Y'know, she's a really nice girl, but.." "I mean if Jeremy's gonna be spending a lot of time with somebody.." "they really shouldn't be a.." "a WoW addict" "What games do you play together?" "Well, I mean we don't actually play together or nothing.. she plays WoW all the time and I just kinda play real games, and.." "I see.." "I've lost a lot of good men to WoW, and.." "y'know the few of us that are remaining.. we kinda refer to it as the plague" "Some of 'em come back eventually, but.." "Y'know they're not the same, I mean.." "They usually just end up spraying and praying" "I'll never forget Ion Dragon.." "the day he jumped in front of those five E's" "He just turned around" "Looked at me" "Last thing he said to me was.." ""Don't worry, man.." "I'm soulstoned"" "Like what the fuck is that!" "?" "So hey, maybe tomorrow we should go down to the arcade.. make fun of the guys playing DDR?" "Dude for sure!" "Aw man, no.." "I told Tagi I'd do this thing with her.." "I'm sorry man" "Well what about Thursday?" "Ya!" "No, I can for sure Thursday!" "Definitely, definitely.." "Wicked man, wicked.." " What the hell is that?" "Are you carrying a gun?" "What?" " Ok, seriously guys.." "I knew you guys were geeks.." " but this is a new level of geek.." "like, honestly" " You can't be carrying around plastic guns" " I really hope that you haven't shown this to anybody" "Give it to Doug" "Seriously if you.." "Doug if you ever wanna get a girlfriend, uhh.. you can't let her know that yo" "Holy shit!" "I'm sorry, Doug and I were just trying to show Kyle how much of a" "What?" "No, I don't have a passport.." "You want me to go where?" "The Netherlands.. why the Netherlands?" "We can't say for sure, but we do know that the Masterer has high regard for several pro gamers from the region" "We think he's sending his star pupil to meet someone, possibly for training" "Given his currently limited assets, it makes sense" "One possible contact is a man named Luuksk" "He's the one that taught Daigo how to parry" "There's also Weiman and Red Board, both are known to have a history with the Masterer" "But our money's on Verruckter" "A very reclusive gamer, this is actually the best photo that we have on file" "He's mastered the entire Command and Conquer franchise" "Given Jeremy's background, he's the obvious sparring partner" "Or it could be a vacation" "We don't think so.. recently the Masterer has been rushing his students through training and we know he has Jeremy focusing on RTS" "Alright, this could be a good opportunity to find out more about the Masterer's network" "Make sure to clear it with the local authorities, I'm sure there won't be any problem with basic surveillance" "Kyle, this place is so cool" "Kyle, like.. everybody's just like walking around like.." "how come noone's playing games anywhere?" "This is isn't what I thought at all, I mean.." "Everyone I know in Holland is a gamer, I thought people would be playing games like everywhere, y'know but.." " Well everyone you know from Holland is on the Internet.. they're gamers" "Ya I know, that's what I'm saying" "I thought, y'know, people would be out busting their laptops out" "People would be like gaming everywhere, but.." "It's like their just.. just kinda walking" "This kinda sucks, Kyle.." "It's kinda boring, don't ya think, like?" " They've got some good museums around here, aren't you interested in that?" "Ya museums, Kyle.. seriously you should totally go.." "I'll be right behind you" "I'm just gonna go maybe find a LAN cafe just for a second, I'll catch right up to you Kyle.." "Kyle.. you sure we're not in Africa?" "Maybe we got on the wrong plane.." "Kyle?" "These are like the Easter bunnies, but like in the Netherlands I guess.." "You like some chocolates?" "Sure, ya.." "Cameraman likes chocolate too?" " Sure!" "Ya, that'd be great" "I guess in the Netherlands you just get free chocolate" "Only one?" "Only one?" "Oh?" "Nice!" "Kyle, this place pwns.." "Thank you!" "Bye bye!" "Feels like I'm like in Age of Empires 3 or something, y'know?" "It's like.. kinda like waiting for the Janissaries to rush me any second, y'know?" "Kyle, looks like they might have some good food here.." " So you gonna get me some lunch?" "You got some money?" " Jeremy it's half my show, the hair money's half mine" "I think it's all my hair though, Kyle" "Tell ya what" "Maybe I'll make the "Kyle Show", and we can sell you hair.. how's that sound?" "You complain so much, Kyle.. here" "I don't have much, I dunno.." "Here's some change, Kyle.. you get that" " So how long are we supposed to hang around here?" "I dunno.." " Didn't the Masterer tell you where we're supposed to go to meet this guy?" "No he didn't kinda say anything.. he just told me to come here, y'know?" " So how're we supposed to know where to go?" "I dunno.. but I mean, has he ever been wrong before?" " I don't know, I never talk to the guy.. he doesn't talk to me" "Guess I wouldn't really talk to you either if you weren't my brother, y'know?" "Sucha noob" " What?" "Nothing.." "Ha-zay-zwoidey-dorb.. zo-trim-meka.." "Kyle!" "It doesn't even make sense!" "Alphen arms dealer rijin?" "No one can pronounce that Kyle!" "I can't speak African.." "How are we gonna find the hotel?" " Didn't we have to turn at Zo-ter-wer-da?" "I don't know!" "It could've been Den Hey Gee or whatever, y'know?" "I'm gone.." "I'm going back to the car, Kyle" "There's no lights.. this is backwards" " Jeremy, we have no fucking idea where we're going.." " I think we had to turn back there.. what th-?" "Kyle?" "Does that happen normally in these kinda cars, or what?" " Well why don't you just try and start the car?" "Won't start, Kyle.." " What do you mean it won't start?" "It won't start Kyle!" "What the fuck!" "?" "Kyle.." "You get in the driver's seat and you get out of here" " Where should I go?" "Anywhere but here.." " Jeremy?" "Hey dude!" "What's up?" "Hey Doug.." "What happened to you last Thursday?" "I'm sorry about that, man.." "I just got back now.." "From where?" "I gotta go, I'll talk to you later.." "Whatever.." "Surprised to see me?" "Certainly not" "Y'know I could've been killed?" "Kyle could've been killed!" "That is correct" "What is this some kinda joke to you?" "You could've told me, y'know!" "You could've said something!" "I could've been ready!" "It's the decisions you make, when you have no time to make them, that define who you are" "If that's all, you can leave now" "And Jeremy.." "I'm proud of you" "Did you tell him you almost got killed?" "I didn't almost get killed, Tagi.." "I totally pwned that guy.. it was no problem" "That's not what Kyle said.." "Well Kyle's a big noob.. he's lucky he didn't get himself killed" "Look I just don't trust the Masterer ok?" "He sent you out there without telling you anything" "Do you know where I'd be right now if it wasn't for him?" "Jeremy this is not a game, this is RL" "RL is a game, Tagi!" "That's the first thing he taught me!" "It's all about manipulating your environment.. the whole world is!" "It's about winning!" "Y'know, like.." "This girl there, she's studying for Accounting 203, y'know.." "This guy right here, he just left his wallet.." "Hey man!" "Hey!" "You forgot your wallet Thanks.." "Nothing's getting by me, it's ok.." " Ok, thanks guys.." "Excuse me.. excuse me, sorry to interrupt" "You guys are from that show right?" "Yeah.." "Awesome!" "Could I have an autograph?" "Please?" "Yeah, for sure.." "Aww cool!" "Awesome!" "Thanks a lot guys!" "Thank you!" "Y'know one of these days you're gonna get used to it, and you might even appreciate it too!" "Ya, I could see that happening.." "LOL!" "Looooooool.." "loooooooool"