"Subtitles:" "Nathbot ~ bufgelfly ~" "I'll get it!" " Where's the phone?" " I thought you had it last." "I always put it back." "Apparently I'm the only one who does." "The last time I saw it, it was right here." "God." "You know how the ring gets louder when it's really important?" "I don't know why they call them freedom phones." "Would you like a bagel?" "Yeah, with just cream cheese, please." "Are these mine?" "That's Grace's box." "Yours is next." "Too cute!" "What's this?" " Puke." " Ew!" "I remember her." "That's Martha." "She was your grandmother's." "Can I have her?" "We'll have to ask." "You won't be able to play dress-up with her, though." "Did you make up your mind about your birthday party?" "I've been so busy with Grandma's visit." "I think I wanna do something simple." "With just us." "That's very sweet, but you don't wanna have a party?" "I don't really feel like it this year." "I mean, what's the big deal?" "Hello!" "Anybody home?" " Hello!" " Hey, Ju-Ju." "That's my dad, I'm late." " Bye, Ju-Ju." " Nice to see you too, Gummy Bear." "Bye, sweetie, have a great day!" " I'm returning this." " I didn't know you borrowed it." "Oh, wow..." "I remember this." " What's that?" " Puke." " Keep it." " Are you giving these away?" "This is the Maddie pile, this is I-can't-bear-to-part-with-it pile." " {\Don't worry,}I'm saving you plenty of stuff." " If they don't rot by then." " So, what time is her plane get-in?" " 1.15." " I should be coming with you." " That's really OK." "I'll get her settled, you'll swing by, we'll all go pick up Zoe{\ together}" " and then go see the baby." " Your ex-husband's baby." "It's the one thing Mom said she wanted to do here." "She probably thinks she's her grandmother." "She's been acting kind of..." "weird, on the phone." " She calls you?" " {\Only }To criticize me." "Last week was to tell me I act too capable around men." "She never calls me." "You think she'll bring those disgusting rye crackers she steals{\ from the flight attendant}?" " She doesn't do that." " And then tell us every{\ single }thing she ate{\ on the plane}." " Why are you being so mean{\ about her}?" " Why are you in such denial?" "{\Because }It's nicer that way." "I have to go to work." "Can we please fight later?" "I'd love to, but I'll probably be too busy fighting with Mom." "Hey, Grandma!" "That can't be Grace!" "Who is this gorgeous creature?" " How was your flight?" " Horrible." " Look at you, all grown up!" " Yeah, that happens." "Mom, I'm gonna take Jessie and Katie and drop them off at her mom's." "Oh, hello." "Do you live nearby?" "Mom!" "That's Jessie, Rick's daughter." "You met her at the wedding." "I just didn't recognize you, you're all grown up too." "This is Katie, my friend." "So many big girls!" " Watch your head, sweetie." " Sorry." "OK, we're gonna go." " I'll see you later." " Bye." "See you guys later." "Come on, Mom." "Come on in, Mom." "It's chilly!" "I never know what your weather is gonna be like and I just always pack wrong." "We have everything you need:" "sweaters and scarves..." " Let me take that for you." " Thank you." "I'll turn the heat up if you're so cold." " Want some coffee or tea?" " No, nothing, no." " Where did you get that?" " That's Rick's old chair." "It's his favorite place to get all his thinking done." "Oh, you can always have it reupholstered." "But your house looks lovely, as usual." " Judy!" " Mom's here!" "I see!" "I'm so glad you didn't come to that airport, it was a madhouse." "All those soldiers with guns, I hate guns!" "Me too." "A little something for you." "You didn't have to do that." "Darling, could I have some water, please?" "Sure." " So, your flight was OK?" " Well, actually no, it was horrible." "Their food is so salty." "The salad wasn't too bad." "It was beet, which I love." "And that nice curly lettuce..." "And I know you love these, Judy!" "Oh, rye crackers!" "Thanks, Mom." "The beef was just so-so." "I think it was Teriyaki." "Do you want to open that?" " Now?" " Sure." "Feels like my birthday." "A book." "How nice." "Anne Lindbergh." "You know, she spent a year by the sea after her husband died." "That poor little Lindbergh baby." "Here you go." "When am I gonna get to see my brand new grandchild?" "{\You know, }Mom, she's not really" "We're gonna go to Booklover's so you can smooch the baby" " and see what Judy's done with Phil's." " That'll be nice." "Should I change?" "No, you look great." " It's too bad she's not here." " Who, Zoe?" "The baby." "Shouldn't she be here?" "Mom." "Lily." "Could you loan me one of your sweaters?" " Sure." " Good." " That can't be her!" " Afraid so." "My god!" "She looks sixteen!" "Hey, Grandma!" "Don't kiss me, I think I picked up a bug on the plane." " Hey, Ju-Ju!" " Hey, Zo-Zo!" " Hey, babycakes!" " How was your day{\, sweetie}?" "Exquisite." "I can't wait to see Maddie." "She's so cute, you won't believe it." "Will Jake be there?" " He should be." " Good." "Grandma, will you be here for my birthday?" "I wouldn't miss it for the world." "But I thought we decided on "Bea"." ""Grandma" makes me sound like some old lady sitting on a porch somewhere." "Isn't she brilliant?" "She's already smiling." " Can I hold her?" " Oh no, Zoe, germs!" "No, it's OK, I let everyone hold her." "Even the UPS guy." "Hey, Bea!" "Jake!" "It's so good to see you." "You too." "Jake, she's just beautiful." "I'm surrounded by beauties, now." "Hey, beauty number 2." "How was school?" "Scintillating." "You look tired, dear." "Probably because I am." "But we do pretty well, don't we, little bear?" "She sleeps right next to me, it's like baby Valium." "She sleeps right with you?" "Aren't you afraid you're gonna suffocate her?" "She's fine." "There you are, Tiffany." "Go through the girls old clothes, see what you wanna keep." "Thank you, Lily." "Hey, sweetie pie." "Hey Lil, can I ask you something?" "Everything's so different now." "You kids just have to do things your own way." "When I was pregnant, they didn't have all those books like they have today, describing everything so you know what to expect." "But we got by, with a hope and a prayer, and a lick and a promise." "You didn't breastfeed?" "Oh, no, nobody did." "Does this hurt, dear?" "It's a good hurt." "Babies change everything, don't they?" "Yeah, nothing in my life made sense until I had her." "You're gonna be a good mother." "You think so?" "I know so." "You hungry, Maddie?" "Starving!" "Would you look at those gams?" "Oh, Daddy." "She is still one gorgeous broad." "And this place!" "First it's a restaurant, now it's a bookstore..." " Things change, Daddy." " Don't I know it." "I like your hair that way, Lilibet." "Thanks." "She doesn't change, though." "You don't think so?" "I look at her and see the girl I married." "You'll always be young to me too, Daddy." "Thank you, sweetie." " Are you two getting along?" " Oh, you know." "She always gets nervous when she travels." "Yeah, but there's something-- I don't know." "You seem a little tense too, my Lily." "Everyone down here has to lighten up a little." "Don't you think Mom seems a little bit out of it?" " Lily, I'm talking to you." " Sorry." "What did you say?" "I said, I think we should go and let this baby have her nap." "{\As a matter of fact, }I could use one too." "And we have food!" " I got everything everybody wanted." " Phone, somebody?" "Phone, phone, phone!" " That's not mine." " I have no life!" "Eli!" "Hey, he lives!" " Mom, you remember Eli." " Oh, hello." " Phone!" " Mom, what can I get you?" "Surprise me." "Nothing too spicy." "Any chopsticks?" " I think so." " Nice." "Who are you?" "I'm... still trying to figure that out." "She's losing it." "Please don't say that." " Do you think it's Alzheimer's?" " No, and neither do you." "What do you wanna call it?" "A senior moment." "{\Judy, }I can't even find my own telephone." "{\That's why }I'm calling you from my cell." "Well, we both have issues with her but the thought that" " Hi Mom!" " She's up already?" "Of course we are." "Did she say anything about me working today instead of being there?" "That's fine." "I'm {\so }sorry I'm not there to help you with her." "Me too!" "Bye." "What are you doing up so early?" "7.30 isn't early around here, Mom." "I couldn't sleep a wink." "Is that the same mattress you always had there?" " I think so." " You might want to flip it." "You should do that twice a year, you know." "Would you like a cup of coffee, Mom?" "I don't drink coffee, you know that." "So much food!" "I have a very big family now." "I'll say!" "And I love it!" "Well, just don't forget your own children." "Why would I do that?" "Resentments can build up, believe me." "I believe you, Mom." "Trust me." "Morning, Grandma Bea." "Bea will do just fine, dear." " Aren't you gonna toast that?" " No." "Bagels taste better toasted." "You wanna know how you were raised?" "{\Just }Watch your mother with your own children." "Morning." "You startled me." "I live here." " Morning." " Good morning." "Just trying to decide what to do today." "Zoe, no juice?" "I'll have some later." " I see." " We can go shopping." "Isn't somebody around here gonna have a birthday?" " What kind of party are you having?" " I'm not having one." "You're not having a party?" "Lily, why wouldn't she be having a party?" "Well, she" "I'm gonna step out and get the paper." " I just don't want one." "That's why." " How odd." " Lily, this is the age, you know." " What do you mean?" "When they have to feel comfortable with themselves." " If they're going to be popular." " I don't want to be popular!" " You say that now." " I want to be invisible!" "You will be if you don't start giving parties and entertaining people!" "She has friends, good friends." "Don't you?" "Everybody loves a good party!" "Except me!" "Why don't you just have Anika and Riley over?" "We could have the party at Jake's café." "Now, wouldn't that be fun?" "But then, I have to invite Casey and Taylor, who are their best friends." "They make the most fabulous party favors nowadays." "{\You wouldn't have to invite them}Not if you're having a family birthday." "I tell you what, let's just the two of us go shopping for party favors." "How about that?" "Fine." "Good!" "So that's settled." "I'll go take my shower." "Thanks a lot." "Honey, Grandma doesn't come to visit that often." " Can't we just" " Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Humor her?" "My own daughter, and what do I do?" "I completely sell her out." "By giving her a party?" "She doesn't want one!" "So why did you do it?" "Because I knew it would make my mother happy." "Why do I always end up in the happy business?" "It's called being a good daughter." "I'm seven years old the second she gives me that look." "I don't have a relationship with her, so I'm trying to force Zoe to have one." "At least it's good that they are doing something together." "Even if it is shopping." "Who remembers a 12th birthday anyway?" "Gina Bradley." "She let me feel her up on my 12th birthday." "I really needed to know that!" "It was her present to me!" "Oh, look Zoe, look." "These are just adorable." "Look, you can give one to each guest." "See?" "Or what about something like this?" "My friends don't wear makeup." "Oh, that's for makeup, I see." " Well, there's just so many choices!" " And they're all made in China." "Which invaded Tibet and killed thousands of monks." "Zoe, I'm just trying to help you with your birthday party." "Now..." "This is very nice." "Oops, a little too nice." "Grandma, I'm just gonna go look over there, OK?" "Fine, but don't wander off." "We promised your mother we'd be home by five." "So I'll meet you at that counter in three minutes." "Oh, I had big plans." "You might not know it, to look at me now." "But I was gonna have a career in fashion." "I was gonna live in Paris, work for Coco Chanel." "Or maybe become a buyer in New York." "But that year, my father lost everything." "His business." "It didn't matter what I wanted." "I couldn't even afford college." "But then I met Phil, and he became my life." "Excuse me, can I borrow your phone to call my mom?" "Only if it's a local call." "Thank you." "Mom?" "Yeah, hi." "No, I'm fine." "I'm just waiting for Grandma to get back." "She said she'd be here." "I don't know." "I don't see her anywhere." " Zoe, where is Grandma?" " I have no idea." "How could you lose her?" "Excuse me, she lost me!" " You think she left the mall?" " I don't know!" "Mom!" "There she is." "Thank God." "Mom!" " There you are." " Where were you?" " Well, I'm right here." " But you said I should stay up there." "Honey, you wandered off, I didn't know where to look for you." "No, I didn't!" "I couldn't find you." "I was very worried." "Didn't I tell you to stay together?" "I stayed exactly where she said I should!" "Let's not make a big fuss about it." "Everybody's fine." "Stop acting as if something terrible happened." "Alright, let's just go home." "Lil." "Wake up." "You're dreaming." "Oh, my God." "I was back at the old house," "I wanted to see her so badly." "Who?" "My mother." "Come here." "I wanted to tell her something important, and I went all the way back home, but she wasn't there." "I opened every door and... looked in every room but she wasn't there." "You used to eat the other half first." " I did not." " You did, too." "Daddy, I'm so glad you're here." "Even though you're not really." "Oh, I am if you need me." "My gosh, you eat a lot of Chinese food around here!" "Thai." "A lot going on around here, Daddy." "There is a lot going on." "I never really knew before how everything was connected." "Did you know we are actually made of star dust?" "Daddy..." "Daddy, I think something's wrong with Mom." "And if you were here, you'd see it." "Somehow it wouldn't be such a big deal because you'd know what to do." "Thanks for the vote of confidence, sweetheart." "But I might not." "I might love her so much that I would try not to see it right away." "How can I talk to her and get her to admit that she needs help?" "Who likes to admit that?" "And you know your mother." "She wants to do everything herself." "Daddy, you can't be dead and in denial." "You'll see, Lilibet." " You'll see." " See what?" "You'll know what to do." "How will I know?" "Oh, you..." "You guys did a great job on these!" "Daddy?" "Sugar, anyone?" "Not for me, thank you." "I just use lemon in mine." "So..." "Isn't this great that there is green tea everywhere now?" " Yes." " It's so good for your health." "That's what they say, whoever they are." "All from the far East, I guess." "Mom?" "There's something Judy and I wanna talk to you about." "Oh, I just love conversations that start like this." "We were wondering if you have been forgetting things lately." "Little things like appointments or" "No." "Absolutely not." "Why are you asking me this?" "It happens to everyone." "God knows I've forgotten... to get married!" "What are you trying to say, that I'm incompetent?" " We worry about you, Mom." " Well, don't." "Worry about yourselves." "Have you seen a doctor lately?" "I have my checkups." "When was the last one?" "I don't know!" "What is this?" "Why are you ganging up on me like this?" "I think I do very well for myself." "Wait until you're my age, see how well you do." "I know you do, I don't mean to seem" "Here we go." "Is everything alright?" "Anything else I can get for you?" " No, thank you." " Everything looks wonderful." "Absolutely." "You just wandered off." "It was very frightening." "Is that what this is all about?" "I merely walked across the way to look at something." "Is that why I suddenly need to see a doctor?" "I have live alone ever since your father died." "Yes, it's been hard, but I've managed very well without you." "I don't think it'd hurt to talk with someone." "I have a doctor here, you'd love her." " What did Zoe tell you?" " Nothing." "Well, you're making much too much of this." "You always have." "When you were a child, I used to call you my little drama queen." "Now, what I really want to talk about is your café." "How is it doing?" " Mom, can I have some ice cream?" " Sure." "She should've eaten her dinner." " Mom, it's OK." " She eats too much junk food." "Why do you keep talking about her like she's not even here?" " I do not." " Yes, you do!" "And don't you dare use that tone of voice with me, young lady." " What tone?" " That tone." "I'll use any tone I want any time I want to." "Zoe, that's enough!" "{\I don't even know why you come here,}All you do is criticize everyone." "OK, Zoe, that is enough." "Go to you room right now." "Gladly." "I don't even wanna go to your stupid birthday party." "I don't know what's come over that girl, she used to be so sweet." "It says there are tangles that can form in certain regions of the brain." "Tangles?" "The hippocampus starts to shrink in the early part of the disease, you need an MRI to see that, but basically they can't really diagnose it 100% until the brain is examined in an autopsy." "There's gotta be some kind of treatment." "Treatment is about controlling the symptoms, which can include cognitive loss, verbal aggression," "agitation, wandering, depression..." "I can't bear it, it's too depressing." "Maybe this is... just what getting older is, and now we need some fancy name for it." "No, this isn't normal." "It can't be." "So we can put people away and not have to feel bad about it." "What's the alternative?" "Are you gonna want to take care of her?" "Have you thought about that?" "Cause I have, Lil." "I'm not sure I could do it." "I really don't know if I could." "We have our little secrets, don't we?" "Mom, are you awake?" "Oh yes, yes." "Very hard to sleep when it's not your own bed." "Zoe didn't mean what she said." "I know that." "I want you two to get along." "We do, in our own way." "You haven't seen her in a while." " She's grown up so much." " Yes, she has." "I brought you another blanket." " I won't need this." " It's cold at night." "Lily, it's hard." "You have no idea how hard it is." "You mean... since Daddy died?" "Do you know that I had a doll just like this as a little girl?" "Mom, that is your doll." "It is?" "What is it doing here?" "You gave her to me." "Oh, yes, of course I did." "I'm surprised she's in such good condition, you were always so rough on your things." "Cause I've grown up, too." "Sometimes I feel like we don't even know each other." "That's silly." "I know it does sound silly, but..." "I wish I'd known what you were like as a little girl." "What mischiefs you got into, what you dreamed of..." "Long ago." "So much I never knew about you." "What was it like when you were pregnant, were you scared of giving birth?" "What else did you want in your life?" "I can't do whatever it is you want me to do right now." "I can't be your best friend." "I had your father for that." "I'm not like you." "I don't want to talk about every little feeling and analyze it to death." " Is that what you think I do?" " Yes, you do!" "Why can't you ever talk about your feelings?" "Why is it so damn difficult?" "Because my life is mine." "And it's not for anyone else to examine and to judge." "I think... you must be tired." "You ought to go to bed." "It's late." "What time is this party tomorrow?" " Seven." " Alright, we should leave at 6.45." " That's fine." " OK" "Good night, darling." "Good night, Mom." "What are you doing out here so early?" "Well, I'm just switching out a fan belt in Lily's car." "Couldn't they do that for you at the dealership?" "Sure." "If I wanna pay triple what it's worth." "Jake's good with cars, too." "That's great." "Lily tells me that you two get along." "Well, Jake's a... a good guy." "You know, in my day, exes didn't mingle." "It just seems so strange." " What is, people getting along?" " Well, it's just... odd!" " Are you gonna come in for breakfast?" " I'm not quite done yet." "Well, I hate to think of you out here all alone." "I kind of like it, actually." "You men!" "Morning." "He won't come in." "I tried." "Every time she comes out here, I think it's gonna be different." "I really do!" "But she is just so..." "like" "She's gone in two days, Lil." "She's gone!" "When I talk to her I feel numb." "What is that about?" "I just" "I need to make love to you." " Now?" " Yes, now." "You sure that now is a" "You kidding?" " I'm not kidding." " This is crazy!" "I know." "What's that?" "It's Judy." "Hello?" "Anybody?" "Hey, happy birthday, button!" "What's so happy about it?" "I love you." "Maybe you mom should visit more often." "What's wrong?" "What is it?" "I don't know how I can do this." "I try to talk to her, and she just shuts me down." "How can someone give birth to you and change your diapers and be your mother and have it all be about her?" "She doesn't even see me." "It's not too late." "I mean, she's right here." "No, she's not." "I never had a mother." "Not really." "Not the one I wanted." "And now I'm losing her." "I don't know, Lil." "I wish I could help." "Rick, you do." "You have no idea." "Judy, I didn't know you were here!" "A coffee cake!" " Why you have grease on your face?" " I do?" "Oh, hi Judy, I didn't know you were here." " Why do you have grease on your face?" " Oh, well, I was working on Lily's..." " ... car." " Oh, I see." "You hungry?" "No, thanks." "I'm gonna go get some... more tools." "In the car?" "I'm telling Mom!" "Oh, shut up." "Mom, can I have a popsicle?" "For breakfast?" " Sure." " That's a lot of popsicles." " Oh, my God." " What is it?" "How did it get in there?" "I have no idea." "Oh, god, I hope we can defrost it!" " Judy, I'm losing it." " Join the club!" "I had this whole conversation with Dad last night." "You did too?" "You serious?" "I do {\talk to him }all the time, I just never told you {\about it}cause I thought you'd think I was" "Nuts?" "I think it goes in the family." "OK, so Mom is definitely not herself." "I think we can admit that now, right?" "{\Last night }When she saw Martha, she thought we'd found another doll like her." "We gotta get her to a doctor." "I can't believe we're {\already }at this point." "It's like life is five seconds long." "Morning!" "Judy, I didn't know you were here." "Mom, you look so nice." "At my age, it takes longer and longer to put yourself together." "Do you want some breakfast?" "Coffee cake or popsicles?" " What time is the party tonight?" " What party?" "Zoe's birthday." "Of course!" "You know, I think I forgot to buy her a present." " It's OK." " Judy, I need you right now." "We have to go get her something and I know exactly what." "At your service." "That's them... that's them!" "Alright, come on in!" "OK everybody, I need your attention!" "This was always my husband's job, making toasts." "You remember, girls, how much he loved to do it?" "But this is a very happy day for me." "To be here in this place, see how well everybody's doing." "Judy, your dad would be so proud of all you've accomplished here." "And Lily, with your radio show and your... your wonderful enormous family," "I really don't know how you do it." "But most of all, this is my granddaughter's day." "Zoe, I know you didn't want to have this party, and maybe I shouldn't have insisted on it, but I just knew that everybody in this family wanted a chance to... to celebrate what an extraordinary girl you are." "Hear, hear." "You've got a real spark." "You're smart, you're funny, you're not afraid of anybody," " not even your bossy old grandma!" " You got that right." "You remind me just a little bit of me." "And so, I'm going to give you something that was once mine." "Now..." "The dress is new, but she's really a very old-fashioned girl at heart." "Bea..." "And I hope that she'll be as good a friend to you as she was to me." "Happy birthday, Zoe." "Thanks, Bea." "I promise I'll take very good care of her." "She's so beautiful." "Do you like how she looks?" "Yeah, I do." "You like your new threads, Martha?" " Good night, sweetie." " Night." "Mom?" "Were you and Grandma close when you were little?" "Sweetie, of course we were." "Then... what happened?" "Well..." "I'm not exactly sure." "I guess Grandma loves babies so much, somehow it's... hard for her to accept that they grow up into big girls." "What are Zoe and Grace gonna say about me when I get older?" "Are they going to roll their eyes every time I call?" "Is it hard for you that I'm growing up?" "Absolutely." "Even though I can't help it." "Change is hard for parents sometimes." "Then... maybe you shouldn't be so mad at Grandma Bea." "What do you mean?" "Well..." "She's changing, too, by getting old." "She can't help it, either." "Mom, can I come in?" "Of course." "Your flight is not until tomorrow afternoon." "That gives me something to do." "You don't have to leave tomorrow." "Oh, no." "You must be anxious to get back to your regular life." "Zoe loves the doll, thank you." "That was sweet of you." "Oh, I'm glad." "Zoe and I are going to be just fine." "Grandmothers are different than mothers." "Oh, where is my toothbrush?" "{\Lily: gives advice on radio show Grace: 17" " Zoe: 12" " Rick: architect}" "Should I just leave the towels here on the floor?" "I guess so, sure." "Let me have that." "That's a nice sound." "I was just Zoe's age when my mother died." "Did you know that?" "After that... everything changed." "You always liked the rain." "I did?" "Always." "I remember waking up in the middle of a storm when I was little." "I was so scared." "And you took me out on the porch just so I could hear it and smell it." "After a while I loved it." "Do you remember that?" "Of course I do." "Now, there, Lily." "Mom?" "I've always felt like I've done something." "Something to make you angry with me." "And I've never known what it was, all these years." "Oh, no, Lily." "It was never you, it was just..." "It was life." "Life did something to me." "Look at these hands..." "What have you been doing?" "Scrubbing floors?" "They used to always look so perfect." "I know, they look awful, don't they?" " Come with me." " What?" "Sit down." " Lily." " Come on, give it up." "Wha-- This is so silly, what are we" "Come on, Mom." "Hand over your hand." "You don't have to do this!" "It does feel nice." "Listen." "Mom, I want you to..." "I want you to think about living here with us." "Living with you?" "I couldn't do that!" "Don't be silly." "Get to know the girls." "I always told you I didn't want to be a burden to you" " and I meant it." " Stop it." "No, I won't stop it!" "You've got your plate full{\, you don't need one more thing}." " You don't get to make this decision." " I certainly do!" "I'm not always gonna do what you want me to do." " You never have." " Mom!" "God!" "I don't know how to make this any clearer." "I wanna take care of you." "Will you or will you not let me take care of you?" "Lily, I" "I forget things." "I do know that." "We'd just end up driving each other crazy!" "Okay." "So maybe it's not perfect." "But I'll remember for you, Mom." "And I think maybe, by taking care of you, I'll be taking care of me." "And, you'll drive me crazy." "Well, god knows you'll drive me crazy if I keep saying no!" "Let me see these fingernails."