"[laughter] [rock music playing]" " Um, hello." "What is--how much are drinks?" " Complimentary." " Oh, I will definitely have one, in that case." "[sighs]" "Okay." "Yep." "Thank you for your service." " Josh?" " Holy shit, Pete Hoffman." "I haven't seen you since what?" "Algebra II." " God, all I remember from that class was playing Phoenix on our TI-89's." " Hmm, hmm, trying to remember." "Who was it that got the high score?" " [laughing] Shut up, you bastard, I" " That's me; you bow down to me." " I do, indeed." " Man, those were the days." "Wow, before we had to grow up and join the boring real world." " Tell me about it." " So what are you up to, bud?" " Oh, not too much." "I'm living downtown." "Still eating and drinking a little too much." "I'm an astronaut." " What?" "You're--you're an astronaut?" " Yeah, I work for this place." "It's the National Aeronautics Space Administration." " NASA?" " Oh, sweet, you've heard of it." "Yeah." " Well, yes, I've heard of it." " Josh?" " Alice Shimpff." " [laughs] Oh, well... it's actually Alice Hoffman, now." " No--you--what?" " I know." " Score one for the good guys!" " That's what I'm talking about." " So how have you been?" "What are you" "You still twirling the baton, or...?" " Oh, I wish." "I'm an astronaut." " I'm sorry, you're both astronauts?" "So, you guys work together?" " No, no, I'm on Gamma." "She's on Argo." " Yeah." "Oh, but you know who I do work with?" "Tom and Carla from Ms. Margolin's class." " Tom, the kid that got suspended for whip-its?" " Yeah." " He made a 180, man." "He's doing great." " So, Josh, what do you do?" " Astronaut, right?" " Uh... [downtempoelectronicmusic]" "♪♪" " Ah!" "♪♪" " [squeaks]" "♪♪" " [growls]" "♪♪" "Youwantedtoseeme, Mr.Pell?" " So our office manager, Vanessa, is leaving to... [scoffs]" "Take care of her kids." "Her job is yours if you want it." " What?" "Seriously?" "I--I am so honored." "Might I inquire as to how you arrived at, uh, choosing me for this job?" " I asked which temp has been here the longest, and someone said it was you." " I see." "So my experience gave me the edge." "The wise old owl, as it were." "I'll go with that." "That's fine." " Oh, yep." " Voilà." "Eggs à la Tom." " Okay, before we dig in," "I would like to propose a toast to Josh, who has some exciting job news." " What?" "What job news?" " It's not that big a deal." " It's a huge deal." "He's the new office manager." " Oh." " This--this is true." " What does that mean?" "Office manager?" " I'll do stuff like order supplies, organize staff events, like March Madness pools and Girl Scout cookie season." "Stuff like that, and..." "I get... ♪ Dun duh-duh-duuh ♪" "My own business card..." " So cool." " With my name." "That's the name you gave me." " So cool." "That's awesome." "I love it." " Joshie," "I thought you were only working at this place until you figured out what you really wanted to do with your life." " This is a smart move for Josh." " No!" "Josh is special." " Jesus." "What's her problem?" " Josh, I think there's something you should see." " I don't remember this really big tent." "[gospel music]" " ♪ Josh is sanctified ♪ all:" "♪ Sanctified ♪" " Who are these people?" " You know how your mom likes to brag about you." " Yeah." " These people listen." " Oh, man." "What did she tell them?" " Oh, just the usual." "That you're smart and talented and a living god." " What?" " Yeah." "Oops, I got to go." "I have to play the bass." " Did he say living god?" "[gospel music flourish]" " Josh is testing me." "Oh, he is testing me." "He told me, "I got a job offer, mum, and it ain't a good one!"" "But you know what I did?" "I believed that Josh is destined for greatness!" "He could be a doctor!" "[bass flourish]" "He could be a lawyer!" " I'm a lawyer, Mom." " He could be the president... [cheers and applause] of the United States of America!" " [mouthing]" " Talamacah-shebaccah!" "[cheers and applause]" "Yaminah-yaminah!" "Hocko!" "Shaka-laka-laka!" "Homina!" "Homina, homina!" " No, no, Mom, will you please stop?" "You're really embarrassing me right now." " It's he." "The great one." " I'm not a god." "I'm not even kind of a god." " Then how do you explain these holy relics?" " No, there's-- they're not-- those are mostly participation medals." "Mom, look, just face it." "There might not be-- maybe there's nothing I'm naturally gifted at." " Oh, really?" "Nothing?" "Well, what about that summer at computer camp?" "♪♪" "You were the best in the bunch, and they gave you a certificate to prove it." " Uh... wow." " Made the frame himself." "Shop class." " May--maybe you're right." " [laughs]" " Maybe I've been selling myself short." " Oh, yeah." " You know, maybe..." "Maybe screw that office job." " You say it!" " Soulless office job." "I'm gonna do something with my life." "[cheers and applause]" "I'm gonna--I'm gonna follow my heart!" " Hallelujah!" " Mr. Pell, could I speak to you a second?" "Just a" " Mm." "Thank you." "I'm sorry to put you in this position, but, uh... upon further consideration," "I realize that I'm gonna have to decline that office manager job." " I see." " I just-- it would be unfair to me to place limitations on myself to do anything other than follow my dreams." "[woman moaning]" " Are you watching porn?" " Yeah." "Yeah." " Ugh, I can't believe you still buy Schmort's Ice." "I stopped drinking this cheap shit in college." " And there, I did it!" " Did what?" " I just signed up for a six-week beginners course on computer coding." "I'm gonna try and be a video game designer." " That's awesome." " Right?" "No, I think my mother's right." "It's time I start living up to my potential, and I think I might even have an idea for my very first game." " What is it?" " All right." "I can tell you." "You just got to promise to keep it a bit of a secret." " These lips are sealed." " All right." "[blubbers]" "You're, like, the first person I'm saying it to, like--okay." "It's called "Abandoned Planet," all right?" "It's about a group of space marines who receive a mysterious distress call from an abandoned planet, uh, but there's a twist." "The planet's not actually abandoned." " Who's on it?" " Like...aliens." " Okay." "Josh, I play a lot of video games, so I have a higher bar than most people..." "But I got to say, that is the coolest shit I have ever heard." " Really?" " Swear to God." " [laughs] I knew it." " Dude, to "Abandoned Planet."" " To "Abandoned Planet."" "Oh, this is so exciting." " [chuckles]" " [groans]" " Oh, this beer is terrible." "It's like hot dog water." " That's really bad." "[upbeatelectronicmusic]" "Phew." " One of the most important things you can't forget is to use a semicolon at the end of every line of code." "Otherwise your program, it's just not gonna run." "♪♪" "We wanna force the loop to exit here." "What command do we use?" "Josh?" " Uh, break command." " That's correct." "Now we can work on the code section below it." "♪♪" " Wow." "That's awesome." " Congratulations, Josh." "Are we gonna see you in our advanced class?" " You betcha." " Good stuff." " Yeah." "Phew." "Um..." "Okay, uh, am I in the right class?" " Yes, Josh, have a seat." "We just got started." " Oh, thanks." " Okay, now that you've all gone through beginners coding, which--let's be honest-- was a bit of a joke, wasn't it?" "[all laugh]" "We're now gonna get into what I like to call real computer programming." "There's gonna be a little bit of a learning curve, but you should be able to get the hang of it as long as you have a handle on calculus, analytic geometry, data architecture, and computational linguistics." "You're gonna be fine." " Oh, man." " Let's get started by saying our names and something interesting about ourselves." " Uh, my name is Sporlon, son of Borlon." "I come from a race of highly evolved ultra-brained superhumans." " I am Valeron, son of Valeron." "I, too, come from a race of highly evolved ultra-brained superhumans." " Josh?" " Oh." "Uh, I am Josh." "Uh... and something interesting about myself, um..." "Broke my elbow when I was ten while I was rollerblading." " Okay, uh" " Yeah, thanks." " Let's get started." "We then utilize Dijkstra's algorithm, visiting each vertex recursively, guaranteeing the shortest path." "[all murmuring]" " Hey, hey, Borlon." "Psst, Borlon." " Yes?" " I'm struggling, man." "Would you mind helping me a bit?" " [sighing] Fine." "What is it?" " Thank you." "Thank you." "I'm so sorry to interrupt." " No, it's awesome." " I'm just, like, so confused by this algorithm." " Well, just pulse your neurons until the answer manifests itself." " What?" "Pulse?" "Pulse my neurons?" "Pulse my neurons." "Was that in the book?" " I'm gonna pay attention to Greg now." " And that's that on bounded heuristics." "Great first class, everyone." "Tonight's assignment is just gonna be a fun one." "I want each of you to design a professional quality video game." " For [bleep] sake." " This'll be your "Call of Duties,"" "your "World of Warcrafts," but not those exact games." "all:" "Ha." " [laughs]" " What?" " Wow, wha-- what?" "I've never seen you work this hard in your entire life." "I'm impressed, okay?" "This is amazing." "This is really cool." " Um, I am drowning, Liz." "The other students are just so advanced, right?" " [sighs]" " They all... they get the concepts... right away, and I can't prove this, but I suspect they may be tapping into a collective hive consciousness." "I don't know what I'm gonna do." " Well... [clears throat]" "Okay." "This is your dream?" " Yeah." " So, if this is really your dream, then..." " Yeah." " Then screw those other guys." "They sound lame." " Yeah." " You deserve to be in that class." "[technomusic]" "♪♪" " [sighs] [yawns]" "Man, oh, man." "That was one hell of an assignment, huh?" "Hey, uh, what're you up to this weekend?" "Do you wanna grab a beer or something?" " Thanks, but I think I'm just planning on lying low this weekend." " Oh, yeah, no." "Fair enough." " All right, class, I'm really excited to see everyone's video games." "So who wants to go first?" " I do, Greg." " Borlon, okay, great." "Why don't we all gather around his computer." " Actually, I can project the video game as a hologram from my skull." " Great." "Show us what you got." " [whispers] Jesus." "[dramaticmusic]" "Jesus Christ!" " Nice use of the parallax occlusions we talked about yesterday." " I mean, I was just gonna say the dragon looks cool." " Ahh!" " My game is called "Golden Blade."" " Very nice." "Pass." "Josh, would you like to go next?" " No--I mean, um..." "Yeah, yeah, I could, but if, uh..." "Valeron or, uh, Ob-- um, Albien--Albon would like to go" " Don't be silly." "Come on, everyone." "Let's gather around." " So, uh, yeah." "Here it is." "[electronicmusic]" "♪♪  [electronicstatic]" "God damn it." "Uh..." "What do you think?" "Control, Alt, Delete?" "Is that-- what do you guys think?" " That's--it's okay." "It's okay." " We're done?" " Yeah--yeah, yeah." "[sombermusic]" "I'm sorry, Josh," "I just don't think video game design is for you." " I--it-- but it has to be for me, man." "I got noth--like, this--this is my dream." " Sometimes dreams are just dreams." " Borlon, will I see you at the cool party this weekend?" " Definitely." " You--Borlon!" "When I asked you what you were doing this weekend, you said you were laying low." " Well, um, the thing is, um, at the time that you asked what I was doing," "I actually was planning on laying low this weekend." "That much is true." " I get it." "Just--just go." " Thank you." "Bye-bye." " Bye-bye." " Mr. Pell, could I talk to you for a second?" " Sure." " [sighs] Uh..." "I-I would like to reopen the office manager dialogue." "Uh, so, upon further... further consideration," "I realize that I would love to reaccept that job if it were still available." "Truth is, I would be lucky to have it." " Great." "[explosion]" "The truth is, I don't really care, so... you can have the job." " Oh, thank you." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Yep, right." "Yourexpectedwaittime  is40minutes." " Enter the item code into the second entry field." "What the hell does that mean?" " Paycheck." " Thank you." "Yourexpectedwaittime  is2 hours." " What?" "How did that happen?" " So, Josh, how are your computer classes going?" "Now, I want to hear everything." " Yeah." "Oh, good." "Good, thank you." " I've never played a video game in my life, but once yours comes out, I'm gonna be all over it." " You should try "Tetris."" " It's a good one." " By the way, I was reading a very interesting article in "The New York Times"" "about Mark Zuckerberg." "I think you should talk to him." " No, I--Mark Zuckerberg doesn't want to talk to me." " Oh, sure he does." " Yeah." " You two would have a lot in common." " Huh." " And then when you're done with that, maybe you could take a look at that printer of mine." " [sighs]" "You know, I really-- I appreciate the support." "The thing is" " Oh, wait, I almost forgot." "I know you haven't graduated yet..." " She did not." " Oh, no." " But I couldn't help myself!" "We're just all so proud of you." " Okay..." " That is so adorable." "Look." "[laughs] - [sighs] [sombermusic]" "Yeah, uh, I quit those classes." "I was just in way over my head." "I took that office manager job." " You're better than that job." " No, I'm not." "I'm not; that job is literally the best I can do, and I'll be honest." "All the, like, overwhelming expectation and pride was making me feel terrible about myself." "I'm sorry." " I'm sorry, Josh." "I didn't want you to feel bad." "[sighs]" " Well, I'll, uh..." "I'll get some plates." " Dude, this game, "Golden Blade," is sick." " Yeah, yeah, it was a big big hit." "Borlon knows what he's doing." " Wait, Borlon made this game?" " Yeah." " Must have just came right out of your class..." " I guess so." " And just killed it." " Yeah." " But, you know, I mean," "I'm sorry that your dreams died." " Thanks." " Yeah." " Thank you." " Yeah." " Whoa!" " Hey, we're out of beer." "Should we get more Schmort's?" " Actually, you know what?" "I can do a lot better than Schmort's." " Really?" " Yes, really." "And I'll tell you what." "It's on me." " Dude, that's awesome." " That is awesome." "So how do I look?" " You look great." "Uh, let me just put your cap on." "both:" "Okay." " Now remember, tassel to your left." " Oh." " Okay?" "You haven't graduated yet." " All right, wish me luck." " Good luck." " Here goes nothing." " Big moment." "[marching band music]" "♪ ♪" " Greetings, friends and loved ones." "We are gathered here today to celebrate the young men and young women of this community who are graduating from their shitty beer to a decent beer." "Also, keep in mind, this week I have reduced my mixed nuts to $6.99, not like Ernie's across the street, but enough about me." "Now, the first graduate I want to bring up today, he used to be big, big loser, and we would see him go outside, we would laugh at him, and he's almost a man now." "Please, help me welcome to the cash register" "Mr. Josh Greenberg." "[cheers and applause] [band playing "Pomp and Circumstance"]" " That's you!" "Whoo!" "♪ ♪" "Joshie!" "You the man!" " [mouthing]" "This is a good one, right?" "both:" "Yes!" " Congratulations." " Thank you." " $10.99." " All right." " Wait!" "Wait, don't start without us." " Hey!" " Hey, Bud." "I'm so sorry we're late." " There--oh." " Your mom forgot the camera." " Oh, Tom." "[heartfeltmusic]" "♪♪" "Oh, look, Tom." "Tom, he's paying with a 20." " It's a 20." " Oh, my Josh." " Would you like to donate $1 to the American Red Cross?" " No, that's" "Yeah!" "[cheers and applause] [gospelmusic]" " ♪ With the good Lord besideme♪" "♪Andhislovetoguide me♪" "♪I knowthatsomeday Icanfindmydream♪ [camerashutterclicks]" " So those will be product codes 1-1-4-K and 1-1-5-K." "I know, exotic, right?" "[laughs]" "All right, thanks, Pat." "Good luck with that cold." "All right, bye-bye." " Hi, sorry to interrupt." "Um, I'm the new temp, and I'm wondering if I can get a new chair for my desk because the old one smells really terrible." " Oh, yes, that's--oh." "Of course, yeah." "Uh, I'll order one today." "It'll be here, um..." "Uh, Wednesday." " Great, thank you." "I'm Rosa, by the way." " I'm Josh." "Actually..." "Josh Greenberg, office manager." " Cool card." " Oh, thanks." "Whoa... [upbeatmusic]" "♪♪" "[SufjanStevens'"TheMan of MetropolisStealsOurHearts"]" "♪♪" "♪ Troublefallsinmyhome♪" "♪Troubledman, troubledstone♪" "♪Turnamountainoflies♪" "♪Turnacardformylife♪" "♪Manof steel, manofheart♪" "♪Tameourwaysifwe start ♪" "♪Todevisesomethingmore ♪" "♪Somethinghalfways♪"