"100 times stronger than morphine." "Jackie was fucking me." "Your kid-- she's your ground zero." "And that's okay." "Oh, my goodness." "I miss you so much." "That was my kid." "She need to see me." "Really?" "Because from what I heard, it sounded like she needed to not see you." "You don't even see it." "What is it I am supposed to see?" "You are a drug addict." "♪ I once had a life ♪" "♪ or rather, life had me ♪" "♪ I was one among many ♪" "♪ or at least I seemed to be ♪" "♪ well, I read an old quotation ♪" "♪ in a book just yesterday ♪" "♪ it said, "Gonna reap just what you sow" ♪" "♪ the debts you make you have to pay... ♪" "♪ Can you get to that?" "♪" " ♪ Can you get?" "♪ - ♪ I want to know ♪" "♪ I want to know if you can get to that ♪" " ♪ Can you get?" "Can you get?" "♪ - ♪ I want to know ♪" "♪ I wanna know if you can get to that ♪" " ♪ Can you get?" "♪ - ♪ I want to know ♪" "♪ I wanna know if you can get to that ♪" "♪ Can you get to that?" "♪" " You gonna join us?" " Absolutely." "So you did all that last night?" "Yeah." "Steps four through eight." "And I read step five to an orderly" " Jim." "So he knows everything." "What you want, a gold star?" "You have somewhere to be?" "I've been trying to get more done ever since Grace came to see me." " I want to get better." " It's not a fucking book report." "Look, you said to bring it to the group." "I'm bringing it to the group." "All right, we got it." "You have something to say." "Why are you trying to jump ahead?" "'Cause I need to leave." "I need to be wi my daughter." "And I know you're all gonna jump down my throat, but if your kid came in here with two black eyes, would you stay and do nothing?" "Oh, my God." "Someone punched your little girl?" "No, eyeliner everywhere." "Makeup is a wonderful thing." "I stole more mascara when I was a little girl." "It changed my life." "Look, that's great." "But this eyeliner scared the shit out of me." "Jackie, you're halfway through rehab." "Halfway in two days, I know." "But I have to leave, and I would really like your blessing." "You want it all." "You want to be in rehab, you want to leave rehab." "I don't think anybody here is gonna give you their blessing." "I'm not gonna give you a thing." "If my kid came in here waving a machete, you'd all say, "Fi, go."" "I did that once." "The machete and the black eyeliner." "My parents didn't do shit, and look at me now." "You're looking for someone to tell you it's okay to do the wrong thing." "This is not the place." "Maybe eyeliner is just eyeliner." "Yeah, well, I'm not willing to wait and see." "So you're ready to go because you're fucking special, but I got to stay here for two more weeks?" " I got to stand up." " All right, Wayne, please sit down." "All right, Charlie, no." "Stop it." "Put it away." "Everybody take five." "Go smoke, stand in a corner, shake." "Whatever it is you need to do." "McMurphy." "Why don't you come into my office when we're done here?" "When we're done here, I'm done here." "I can't believe you're gonna get out of this place before me." "Five more days in this fucker." "See you on the outside?" "Yeah, see you on the outside." "Against medical advice, that's how you're walking out of here." "So nothing I did here counts?" "I walked out of Hazelden with two cartons of cigarettes and a big smile." "The minute my car left the grounds," "I started sweating through my t-shirt." "I drove 15 miles an hour for the first hour." " Well, you're not me." " Oh, yeah, I know." "'Cause I'm not a nurse." "'Cause I have one kid, not two." "Get the fuck over yourself, Jackie." "You've been in an incubator here." "You get out, the air's gonna hurt your skin." " My skin's pretty thick." " Not anymore it's not." "Most people who leave before they're ready end up back here or dead." "And what if I'm ready?" "Isn't that possible?" "Yeah, you're extraordinary." "You and the other seven million addicts in America." "90 meetings, 90 days, get a sponsor, blow my mind." "Scared?" "Good." "You should be." "Hey." "I'm going to Queens." " I have a quiz." " That's all right." " Thank you, sister, for bringing her out." " You're welcome." " Hi, sweetie." " I thought you were working more hours or whatever." "Look, I know that my job is part of my life that you don't understand." "And being away and everything that's happening between your dad and me and..." "It's not that you can't wear makeup." "It's that you can't wear it until somebody shows you how to put it on, okay?" " And I don't know the first thing about eyeliner." " Mom" "So look-- No, I got you these." " They smell like cucumber." " I don't need them." "Honey, listen to me." "I am going to be around a lot more." "I'm not going anywhere." "So take these and wipe off your eyeliner." "Let's just start there, okay?" "I'm sorry, Grace." "I love you so much." "It's a 28-day program." "I'm trying to understand why you got kicked out." "I didn't get kicked out." "I left." "And the good news is you don't have to have lunch by yourself anymore." "I've had holidays that have lasted longer." "What if I got everything I needed in two weeks?" " And what if you didn't?" " I have you." "Look, you saved my life." "I'm not trying to get away with anything here." "This is my fourth step-- a moral inventory." "Take it." "Read it." "Believe me, I can do this." "What did they say when you left?" "Oh, you know-- I'm like everybody else." "Avoid stress." "I'm gonna die out here alone." "God, it's like coffee doesn't work anymore." "Don't flirt with me and ask me to make this easier for you." "I love you, but I'm not prepared to pretend that I think leaving rehab was a good decision." "They said you weren't ready to leave." "I wish you'd been a good patient and listened for a change." "You know where to find me if things start to go pear-shaped." "What the hell am I doing?" "Need to get your picture taken." "New I.D. badges." "Not gonna get anywhere in this place without 'em." " Dr. Cruz." " Mike." "Well, I'm gonna stick with Dr. Cruz until I apologize." "Look, if I can be completely honest," "I'm having a hard time with my husband and my kids, so I took some time, which is not easy for me." "So I'm afraid I made a bad first impression." "I'd like to start over if that's possible." "So out of breath." "I'm sorry." "I'm not used to talking this much." "So, Disneyland, not that relaxing?" "I'm not into big groups." "Everyone's got to go at some point." "Eh, let's hope not." " You all right?" " Yeah." "Yeah." "You look like-- you look like you're waiting for somebody to kick you out of this place." " Well..." " Look, you apologized." " Let's keep moving forward, okay?" " Okay, thanks." "I'm glad to be back." "Not that this place is any magic kingdom, either." "Yeah, long lines, bad parades." " I'm working on it." " Okay." "Oh, welcome back." "Did you get my e-mails?" " No." " Really?" " Did you check your e-mail?" " No." "Okay, well, you really should, because a lot of what I'm going to say isn't going to make any sense" " and we're all about efficiency now." " Zoey, what's the problem?" "I've been making this face a lot when someone asks me a question." "And I'm talking in a voice I never use." "Oh, it's been special around here." "35-year-old female." "Had a DC three days ago." "Severe abdominal cramps." "She's gotten enough dilated to knock out Rex Ryan, but she's still in a lot of pain." " Rex Ryan's a big guy?" " Who's Rex Ryan?" "Head coach of the Jets." "Hello?" "You people are barbarians." "Okay, let's transfer on my count." " One, two" " No!" "No, stop!" "Stop, stop, stop!" " No, no, no!" " Easy." "We need to move you so we can do our jobs." "Fuck fluids." "Morphine, now." "Don't touch me!" "Don't touch me!" "All right, what's her name?" "I don't know." " Her name's Molly." " A little help." "Molly, I know you're in an enormous amount of pain, but we're gonna help you." " I'm hemorrhaging." " No, you're not." "All right, Jackie." "Can you run up to C.T." "and tell them we need to jump the line?" "I want her to have a scan immediately." " Go up right now?" " Yep." " We're fine here." " Okay." "No one's even commented that I shaved my goatee." " You had a goatee?" " You noticed, right?" "It's not your fault, but every 12 days, I go through this thing where I wish you were a completely different person for 24 hours." " Like who?" " I don't know." "Just not you." "How do you want me to do that?" "I don't know, but I don't want us to be a couple that starts looking alike." "Moving." "I hate mouth sounds." " Can I ask you something?" " Anything, Boo." "How do you make every outfit look like pajamas?" "Sam can do rumpled and he doesn't look disgusting." "Whoa, that's harsh, dude." "It isn't." "Maybe you should start ironing." "Only men I knew who ironed were Navy SEALs." "And I'm back." "SEALs?" "Plural?" "So what are we talking about?" "Outfits and ironing and also seals." "I was hoping you'd say patients or treatment plans." "Sometimes she wants me to be someone else." "Chloe." "People are who they are." "Now back to work." "Aye aye, captain." "Do you think he was that intimidating as a baby?" "He must have been born that way." "Can I call you Chloe?" "Dr. Decker, please report for rounds." "Dr. Decker, report for rounds." "Hey, Jackie." "Dr. Cooper suggested that I pick your brain." "Uh, okay." "What do you think out mandatory maximums?" " Uh..." " As in it is mandatory that you spend only a maximum of five minutes on noncritical cases." " You're making a face." " Am I?" "I told him you don't have Jackie on board, you don't have the nurses on board." " That not true." " She's like Eva Peron." " She's Cuban, right?" " Nope." " Mike's Cuban." " I don't know how to respond to that." "Most people just say "Wow" or "Really?"" "All nurses are resistant to change." "We're a lot like old Cubans that way." "Mandatory time limits are useless." " I'm all for change, but if you're going there" " Oh, come on." "This is the first time you've had your hair longer in what, like 15 years?" "No, it's what we like about you." "You're like a cat." "You don't give a shit." "Same scrubs, same hospital, same job for 20 years." "So we make some changes, we get Jackie on board, then we get them all on board." "Look at me-- goatee, no goatee." "See, I'm fluid like that." "Changes are good." "What?" "I'm being nice." "Yeah, these-- I have to-- these" "Thank you." "Oh, my God." "What's wrong?" "Oh, my God." "What's going on?" "Take a breath and tell me what happened." "Look at my hands." "Fuck." "It's adrenaline." "You're overwhelmed." "God, what is this?" "Whatever it is, we can get through it together." "Just spit it out." "Coop hurt my feelings." "Oh, no." "He basically said that he never liked my hair." "Then my eyes got hot and I ran in here." "God, what is going on?" "So now I'm gonna feel stuff?" "Said he didn't like your hair?" "He didn't use those exact words, but that's basically what he meant." "Perhaps this is punishment for fleeing from rehab." "So we should check you back in?" "Oh, Jesus." "The last time I cried at work, I was 27." "God, I need to wipe my face." "You don't have any tissues?" "Of course I don't." "You like my hair, right?" "Yes." "Very much." " God-- oh." " Oh, God, I'm sorry." " That's okay." "I'm sorry." " Are you okay?" "I should be asking you that." "You can give that to me." "Why don't you go out to admitting?" "We'll come and get you when we're ready, okay?" "She thinks it's an ulcer." "I say one thing about your mom, who is awful, by the way, she gets an ulcer." "It's not an ulcer." "It's pressure." "Not from you." "It's not from her." "It's stomach pressure." "Can you show me where you're feeling it?" "Uh, here." "Okay, well, your stomach is here." "So come with me." "Let's go." "Right now." " I told you." " Take that bag off." " Page O'Hara?" " Get her out of trauma if you can." "Damn, you called that one." "I'm sorry, what did you call?" "Well, I'd like a doctor to confirm before" "Oh, you're following the rules now?" "What, is she dying?" "Of course, I was mean and she's dying." "It's a good thing you came in." " I'm dying?" " I was kidding." "No, I think you may be suffering from a mild heart attack." "No-- no way." "I'm 35." "We go to Equinox." "Well, you don't." "Not really." "What?" "I go every day." "Roberta, your girlfriend just had a heart attack." "You may want to watch the way you talk to her." "I can't believe this." "Well, a lot of women mistake it for something else, so it's a good thing you came in." "Heart attack." "Lesbians on the rocks." "Oh, darling, you shouldn't have." "Good catch." "Okay." "Oh, my gum." "Sorry." "Good idea." "All right." " Ready?" " I think so." "That's it?" "That's it." "Painless, right?" "Yeah." "See ya." " Oh, my God, once." " See?" "That's what I thought." "One night in Chicago." "You said Minneapolis." "Jackie." "Did you get your new badge yet?" " Yeah, it's right here." " That's your old badge." "Oh, gosh, sorry." "So it is." "Look, you've been tying up this bay for over 30 minutes." "They're nonemergent." "Well, they are waiting to go to cardiology." "Okay, well, move her out into the hallway or back to the waiting area." "Look, 10 minutes max per patient until we stabilize our budget" " you're not a therapist." " Thank God for that, huh?" "Got to get her to cardiology." "Hey, if you guys want to talk more, you can come back down after your tests and we'll find someplace to continue." "Okay?" "Fuck these time limits." "I think we were really getting someplace." "Okay?" " Good luck." " Thanks." "Hey, four tickets to your favorite show." "Welcome back." "Oh, okay." "Thanks." "God damn it." " Hey." " I told Kevin about us." "He knows everything now." "So that might change what you have to say to me." "Oh, damn it." "Fuck you." "Fuck you." "Hey." "I'm at the house." "Um, okay." "The girls needed to pack." "I know that Eddie talked to you." "I didn't want to wait to see what happens, so I'm calling you." "So now everybody knows everything." "The girls don't know anything." " I assume you want to keep it that way." " What don't I know?" "I know things." "Yes, I want to keep it that way." "So I'm gonna keep them an extra night, all right?" "They're right here." "Okay, I can tell that from your voice." "Gracie, say goodbye to your mom." "I don't need to." "Bye, mom." "Bye." "Do you trust Mike Cruz?" "No." "That's not what he wants." "Not what you should want, either." "All right." "You're doing a nice job with that laceration." "Opening a corona with a lighter is stupid, and you seem like someone who owns a few ***." "Bloody, bloody Matthew Jackson." "Let's see that paw." "Nice." "Spring break!" "Hey." "How's the office coming?" "Um, in transition." "There's some kind of smell coming from the radiator." "Can't do smells." "Do you have a minute to sit on the bench?" "Yeah." "So, Kelly Slater, he's one of our nurses here, stole these from oncology." "You have to deal with him." "He handed them to one of my nurses." "I'm not gonna tell you which nurse 'cause this is me narcing." "Okay?" "I'm doing this." "You know I'm gonna have to call the authorities and have him taken off the floor in cuffs." "I have that no-tolerance policy." " You comfortable with that?" " I have to be." "Just don't thank me, okay?" "Hey, Slater." "Go." "Uh, I don't know where you got those, but somebody narced." "Cruz called the cops and they are on their way." "So I'm going to relieve you over here and you should probably run for your life." "Never run." "Running only makes you look guilty as shit." "He's going in and out." "But when his eyes are open, he's asking for his wife, who's in I.C.U." "All right?" "He's got some brain swelling, but they're taking care of that, okay?" " What's his name?" " Roger." " Where's Cruz now?" " Old hallway near Mary." "You're one of the good ones, you know?" "Eddie told Kevin everything." "And now they are barely speaking to me." "Hungry?" "Angry?" "Lonely?" "Tired?" "Here you go, Chloe." "Who says no to vanilla milk?" "I'm trying to be more professional, please." "Hey, I'm looking for Kelly Slater." "Yes, he works here." "Yeah, I know." "You know where he is?" "No." "But I can certainly help you locate him." " You got a G.P.S. or something?" " Or something." "This way, please." " Is she skipping?" " A little bit." "If you like it, then you should have put a ring on it." "You wanted to see me?" "Hello?" "You think it still smells in here?" "Oh, yeah." "It's a little like something died." "You want to get that?" " I can" " No, this'll be quick." "Part of my job is to deliver you safely into the future." "That means faster diagnostics." "But I'm not investing in a bunch of hand-held ultrasounds without a test drive." "Now, they're a godsend in obstetrics." "You tell me if they're helpful here." "Use it." "Oh, I don't need a reward for narcing on another nurse." "I can't reward you if we don't find him." "So we move forward." "Look, I'm not interested in wasting time." "Just tell me if this helps you do your job better, okay?" "Sure." "That's it?" "Yep." "Unbelievable." "Kids, they break your heart with a text message." "10 words, not even." "Efficient." "I don't think this is why he gave that device to you." "Please." "Just keep looking at the screen." "We're not gonna see anything." "It's barely the size of a prune." "Just keep looking." "I would have told you sooner, but I wanted to be sure" " before I said" " You don't have to" "So do you know who the father is?" "Nope." "I want it to be a surprise." "What?" "What do you see?" "It's a boy." "Oh, thank God." "♪ One more chance to get it all wrong ♪" "♪ one more chance to get it all wrong ♪" "♪ one more night to do it all wrong ♪" "♪ one more warning ♪" "♪ one more warning sound ♪" "♪ we're coming out, we're coming out ♪" "♪ we're coming out. ♪"