"Yeah" "I want it that way" "Tell me why" "Ain't nothin' but a heartache" "Tell me why" "Ain't nothin' but a mistake" "Tell me why" "I never want to hear you say" "(SINGING OUT OF TUNE) want it that way" "Don't look at me when you sing that part." "Feel it!" "Ugh." "That way" "(LAUGHING) Man, that was pretty fun." "What happened, man?" "It's not a solo group." "I needed you up there with me." "That's why none of those kids had solo careers." "I meant us." "What are you talking about?" "Remember when we first moved here... and we said if we didn't make it by the time we were 30... we would move back to Ohio?" "Remember that?" "Yeah." "We're 30 as shit right now." "And tomorrow you're gonna sell your game, J." "That's a guarantee, dude." "And also, they're running my commercial again." "Why would you want them to run that?" "What do you mean?" "It's great exposure." "Is it?" "I have." "I have." "I have." "Genital herpes." "Dude, I got $11,000 from that commercial." "I've been living off that for 2 years." "Oh, just go talk to her, you pussy." "You want me to open for you?" "I do not." "I'll be happy to open for you." "The last girl you had sex with was 55 years old." "Don't bring Jane into this, dude." "What was I supposed to say?" ""Hi, I'm a 30-year-old assistant at a video game company." ""Wanna meet my roommate?"" "L.A. doesn't work like that, dude." "(CROWD LAUGHING)" "(ENGINE STALLS)" "(GRUNTS) Fucking piece of shit!" "Come on, do not do this to me right now, bro." "(ENGINE SPUTTERS) (GRUNTS ANGRILY)" "Piece of shit!" "(HORN HONKING)" "What the...!" "I hear you, dude!" "One second!" "I don't need the lights in my face." "I hear you!" "Should I reverse into him?" "Absolutely not." "Just go!" "What?" "(CRASHES)" "(CROWD MURMURING)" "Oh, no, you gotta be kidding me." "Oh, dude, it's bad." "That's real damage." "Hey, dude!" "Don't touch car." "You hit my car." "Are you kidding me?" "Ryan, chill." "I'll get proof." "(CAMERA CLICKS)" "(SHATTERS) (CROWD EXCLAIMS)" "What the fuck?" "You need to watch who you take picture of." "Don't touch my friend, man!" "What?" "I said get away from my friend." "(CLUB MUSIC PLAYING)" "JUSTIN:" "Ryan." "(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)" "I need your insurance information." "Hey!" "Whoa, whoa!" "Hey, get their plates, man!" "They don't have plates!" "Damn it." "RYAN:" "Hey, nobody move." "You guys are all witnesses." "(JUSTIN CLEARS THROAT)" "JUSTIN:" "What's up, guys?" "How's everybody doing?" "Everybody's good?" "Cool." "Cool." "Um... (MUSIC PLAYING)" "This... is a character-driven action game." "But don't think of it as a game." "Think of it as a real life experience." "You are a cop, put in real life..." "TODD:" "Okay, stop." "Stop." "Shut that shit off." "Okay." "(MUSIC STOPS)" "Spare me the corny gimmicks." "What's the game about?" "Um, it's called "Patrolman."" "Patrol-Man." "Huh." "I like that." "What kind of superpowers does he have?" "Check out this girl's pussy." "Oh, no, it's a cop, so he doesn't have any superpowers or anything." "CREATIVE EXECUTIVE:" "What does he have?" "Is he a vampire, or anything original?" "TODD:" "You know what's original?" "Firefighters." "Yes." "Firefighters?" "Okay." "Who wants to be a cop?" "I wanna shoot at cops." "I don't wanna be one." "Good point." "If I can just show you guys the game." "Cops are actually really cool." "No, they're not." "Shut up." "You know what's really cool?" "Zombies." "I want you to start working on "Firefighters versus Zombies."" "That's genius." "Boom!" "What if it was a war between firefighters and zombies?" "Post-apocalyptic." "Set it in New York City and destroy Manhattan." "Hey." "You writing this down?" "(ALL CHATTERING EXCITEDLY)" "RYAN:" "All right, we can win this!" "Razor-15!" "1-4-5!" "Hut!" "BOY: 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi..." "I'm open!" "5 Mississippi, 6 Mississippi, 7 Mississippi..." "Come on, I'm wide open!" "Rock you like a hurricane" "(GRUNTS)" "Are you ready, baby?" "Here I am" "Rock you like a hurricane" "Eat shit, Joey." "Rock you like a hurricane" "Here I am" "Whoa, ho-ho!" "Yes!" "This is good." "Everybody, huddle up!" "Tommy, you gotta block a little bit." "Use your heart." "You block like a bitch." "You're a ball hog!" "Man up!" "Joey, did you see that shit?" "Dude, that shit was tight." "Right?" "Shut up, Joey." "Hey, don't tell him to shut up." "Come on." "We're out of here." "Where are you guys going?" "Home!" "What the fuck, Ron?" "It is a tie game!" "You will not go pro with that attitude, Ron!" "You didn't go pro!" "I got injured, man!" "What's your excuse?" "What do you do all day, anyway?" "What do you do all day?" "Hang outwith Ron?" "Shut up!" "Why don't you shut up, Ron?" "Who is that guy?" "Some loser." "He shows up every day and he thinks he's our coach." "Ron's getting in my fucking head, dude." "Hello?" "(BOTH SCREAMING)" "RYAN:" "Ow!" "Why would you do that?" "Why'd you hit me in the face?" "You don't jump out on brothers." "We don't like that, you know that!" "I was just trying to show you the costume for tonight." "God!" "So how did we do today?" "They... bought it." "Green light." "Yeah!" "Oh, I'm so happy for you!" "I knew it!" "Yeah!" "And that's why we're going to the party tonight in style." "Do you really wanna do that?" "It's gonna be like a college reunion." "Yes!" "I don't know, man." "I mean, they're throwing a costume party in the middle of June." "That's what the e-vite said." "I don't know." "It doesn't make sense." "I'll tell you what makes sense." "Us kicking ass and taking names." "We're ghosts." "You look ridiculous." "Then how about those?" "My cop stuff?" "No." "Why not?" "No." "Then how about this, you fucking downer..." "Cops or ghosts?" "Your choice." "(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)" "JUSTIN:" "We look ridiculous." "What are you talking about?" "We look badass." "I feel like Danny Glover before he got too old for this shit." "These vests are really heavy." "Because they're real bulletproof vests." "They are?" "Yeah." "So all this is real?" "Everything." "What about the guns?" "Are the guns real?" "Yeah, but they don't fire." "What is the point of that?" "WOMAN:" "The police are here." "You idiot." "Why am I an idiot?" "Because this is not a costume party, it's a masquerade party." "That's the same thing." "Not the same thing." "Not the same thing." "Okay, relax." "Not the same thing." "Where are you going?" "Hey, man!" "Congrats!" "Oh, it's Justin!" "Hey!" "Ryan said you were a big time video game designer now." "Oh." "I wouldn't say big time... (STAMMERING) but I definitely work on games." "Come on!" "He said you just got done selling some huge game!" "What's it called?" "I'm gonna tweet that shit out." "Um... (STAMMERING)" "Patrolman versus Zombies..." "Patrol-Man versus Zombies, okay." "Versus Firefighters." "Patrol-Man versus Zombies versus Firefighters." "Good seeing you." "SPORTSCASTER: (ON TV) What a game this has been." "It's been back and forth the entire game." "Heck of a performance from this guy..." "Senior Quarterback, Ryan O'Malley..." "Hey, who's that handsome guy?" "O'Malley takes the snap, avoids the blitz." "Nobody's open." "O'Malley is gonna take it himself." "He cuts across the field, leaving Chandler in the dust." "He's at the twenty." "Two men to beat." "Ten." "Five." "Touchdown!" "He made it!" "What a run!" "O'Malley did it." "He made it!" "What a run!" "Ryan O'Malley has just delivered one of the greatest..." "But I knew I could beat the outside." "This has been a stellar performance by O'Malley... the young player who we're hoping to see a lot of in the future..." "O'Malley!" "Oh, yeah!" "Oh!" "Everybody's here!" "Great to see you guys!" "I was just watching the play." "What happened?" "We all thought you would have gone pro." "Yeah, definitely." "You know, with the injury..." "Didn't I see you in a herpes commercial, though?" "Yeah, you did!" "I killed that, right?" "So you're an actor now?" "No, they found me in a mall, dude." "No, I've been mentoring some kids... teach some football, the ins and outs of the game." "How to play it right." "You know, just to give back to the community." "But what's your job?" "Yeah, there's odds and ends." "I told you I did that commercial." "No, I mean, what's your career?" "I mean, what do you..." "Hey, he's O'Malley, right?" "That's his job." "Yeah, man." "Right?" "You're out of here?" "Oh, you guys are going with him?" "Oh, you're all going." "What happened to that guy?" "Ryan." "Wait up." "I didn't sell my game today." "I know, Justin." "L.A.'s not for me, dude." "I'm moving back to Ohio." "Are you all right?" "Me too, man." "Me too." "This magic moment" "So different and so new" "Was like any other" "Until I met you" "And then it happened" "Officer!" "Officer!" "Scavenger hunt!" "We all have to kiss a cop!" "(WOMEN CLAMORING)" "Everything I want I have" "Whenever I hold you tight" "This magic moment" "That was different." "Yeah." "Freeze!" "You guys over there, freeze!" "Everybody freeze." "(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)" "(CLEARS THROAT)" "What the fuck?" "Carry on." "Everybody be safe." "Carry on." "I got my eyes on you, Jack." "Carry on." "(CHUCKLES) Goodness." "Justin, you've got to try it." "Police!" "Freeze!" "BOTH:" "Oh!" "My bad, dude." "Stupid pigs." "Stay in school." "Yep, they think we're real." "So, let's be cops." "(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)" "Well-well-well." "What do we have here?" "(COUGHS)" "What you got in your hand there?" "Oh, a joint." "Officers, this is..." "That's some really good weed, man." "Is this for real?" "(LAUGHING)" "Go." "Do not exhale, man." "Just keep it in." "Be cool." "Be cool, Justin, we're good." "Even the cops think we're cops, Justin." "Yeah!" "Hey, look who it is." "Look, dude." "I knew we'd see these dicks again." "Hey, pull over." "Are you serious?" "I'm serious." "They're at Georgie's." "Pull over." "GEORGIE:" "This is not right." "I make my payments." "I don't talk." "We have been here 32 years." "This is my whole life." "This is my family." "Georgie, be smart." "When Mossi admires your business, you make him partner." "But I never asked for a partner." "He no your ask permission." "You realize we're not real cops, right?" "Just watch my 6." "Your 6?" "My backup." "Don't use the lingo." "Oh, fuck you." "I'm using the lingo." "The lingo's half the fun." "Whoo!" "We're here." "We got reports of a 418." "What?" "Why don't you tell them what a 418 is?" "I don't know." "Tell them." "And I gotta say, you look suspicious, buddy." "Hands where I can see them." "All of you." "Hands where I can see them!" "(DISTANT CLATTERING)" "What's going on over there?" "Come on." "Get my 6." "Don't say that." "What the...?" "RYAN:" "Hey, you two, get up here." "Now." "Do I know you?" "You do now." "Everybody outside." "Now." "Now!" "Outside!" "All right, turn around." "Hands against the car." "Now." "Hands against the car." "Dude." "Take my photo." "For what?" "For Facebook." "(CAMERA CLICKING)" "Thank you." "All right, turn around, guys." "Chop chop, guys." "Turn around." "This vehicle was involved in a hit-and-run the other night." "And the car you hit was very expensive." "The car was worth anywhere between $15,000 and $27,000." "(LAUGHS) 27... $27,000." "Partner..." "My bad." "Give them a sobriety test." "I'm gonna 402 the vehicle." "What's a 402?" "Search and seizure." "Hey, guys." "How's your night going?" "402." "Hands on your head, please." "Do a couple of spins for me." "That's good." "Okay" "You can't drive around... with bourbon in your..." "What else?" "Pelvic thrusts." "Hands still up there, pelvic thrusts." "Yeah, like that." "What?" "What?" "What?" "Ho-ho!" "Yeah!" "Now... bust it wide open." "You gotta see what's going on back there." "What's going on back there?" "Pop that." "Earn that money." "Dance like you just found out you're pregnant." "That's laundry for a week." "Thank you, gentlemen." "Yeah!" "When did you guys stop dancing?" "And that goes there." "RYAN:" "Well, I hope we all learned a lesson here." "Now who are you?" "Who are we?" "Why don't you tell these men who we are?" "We're the law, bitch." "(LAUGHS) Yeah!" "That was cool, man." "It felt so good." "Yeah!" "You heard him." "We're the law, bitch." "We're the new sheriffs in town." "Okay?" "Now get in your car and get out." "Now." "MAN:" "Yeah!" "All right!" "This is what we needed, buddy." "How far are we planning on taking this, dude?" "Why do you ruin everything by thinking about it?" "Just enjoy the night." "Hey, um..." "I'm sorry." "I had no idea that you were a cop." "JUSTIN:" "Oh." "No, I'm not really a cop." "What do you mean?" "RYAN:" "We're more than cops." "Yeah, we help all the intense units." "SWAT, FBI." "The other day, we were on a 5150... and this guy comes off with a sawed-off shotgun, right?" "Bang, bang, bang!" "Dude, what are you..." "I look behind me and J-Rock... puts one in the chest and two in the balls." "One in each ball." "Wow, really?" "No, I don't shoot testicles." "Do not let that humble face fool you." "And we all at the force talk about it." "We think he needs a serious... back massage." "JOSIE:" "Okay." "Uh, I'm Josie." "Oh, nice to meet you." "Nice to meet you, too..." "Chang." "Oh..." "Chang." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Chang, yeah." "That's my name." "It's a family name." "(IMITATING CHINESE ACCENT) Chang you very much." "(BOTH LAUGHING)" "That was racist." "I'm sorry." "You're funny." "I'm sure I will see you around, Officer Chang." "(CLATTERING) Oh, my lord!" "RYAN:" "Ooh!" "She likes you, Justin." "You do not mess with the law!" "You don't mess with the law!" "Yeah, yeah!" "Yeah!" "(PATRONS SCREAMING)" "(BOTH LAUGHING)" "We have problem." "Cops stopped us from getting Georgie to sign." "What kind of cops?" "Hie-cops?" "(ALL CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)" "Yeah." "Did they buy you a donut?" "(ALL LAUGHING)" "(GRUNTS)" "Now find me those cops." "MAN: (ON COMPUTER) Police hand signals are crucial in life-threatening situations." "The most important hand signal is Code 4." "Code 4 means, "All clear." ""We're all good here."" "Code 4." "All clear." "(GRUNTING)" "What is Code 387?" "Grand Theft." "What is Code 287?" "Kidnapping." "Watch your surroundings." "Control the situation." "(CHIMES)" "(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)" "POLICE: (ON COMPUTER) Remember the 3 essential steps of self-defense." "Absolutely." "It's all the technique I told you about." "Okay?" "Let's may, Joey." "(KNIFE CLICKS)" "Try to kill me." "You're the bad guy." "You're the crackhead, I'm the cop." "Go." "Come at me." "Come at me." "(GRUNTING)" "You stabbed me, you son-of-a-bitch!" "Sorry." "(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)" "Whoo!" "All right!" "What you got going, my dude?" "RYAN: (ON RADIO) Whatever we want!" "We're cops!" "(SIREN WAILS)" "Oh, shit." "Oh, shit, dude." "I'm getting pulled over." "RYAN:" "Play it cool, Chang." "Play it cool?" "I can't play it cool." "I'm black!" "(SIREN WAILS)" "POLICE OFFICER: (ON PA) Turn off the engine and step out of the car." "Okay." "I'm getting out." "POLICE OFFICER: (ON PA) Hands on top of your head." "Okay" "POLICE OFFICER:" "Are you wearing an LAPD uniform?" "Officer, I can explain..." "Turn around!" "Spread your legs." "(JUSTIN SCREAMS)" "Don't fight it!" "JUSTIN:" "Officer, what are you doing?" "Whoo!" "Officer!" "I'm gonna ride you!" "Oh, my gosh!" "What is wrong with you?" "You should have seen your face, man!" "Wow." "Where did you get this?" "RYAN: eBay, dude." "JUSTIN: eBay?" "Yeah, there's tons of them." "Isn't this so illegal?" "No." "Well, I mean, yeah." "Putting the lights on kind of is." "I had to do that myself." "What about the LAPD shit." "RYAN:" "Got it online." "Then I went to Kinko's." "Kinko's?" "Plastered it on myself." "This is crazy, dude." "Some next level shit is what it is, Justin." "Some next level shit." "Load it up and crack a trick" "I'm above the law, bitch" "Isn't that the guy who took a shit on our doorstep?" "He's a cop." "Everybody get down" "WOMAN:" "Officers, is there a problem?" "Do you want to go to jail tonight?" "Um... (CLUB MUSIC PLAYING)" "(CROWD MURMURS)" "There you guys are!" "JUSTIN:" "What are you talking about?" "Somewhere fun." "(CROWD CHEERING)" "All right!" "(WHOOPING)" "WOMAN:" "Oh, yeah!" "Damn!" "Oh, no, no, no." "We're real cops." "These are our guns and..." "We paid $500 for your asses." "Now get up there and shake those dicks!" "WOMAN 2:" "That's right!" "I'm getting fucked tonight." "(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)" "Take it off." "WOMAN:" "Come to mama." "Oh, yeah!" "Get your dollar bills ready, girls." "WOMAN 23 Make it flash!" "No touching!" "Stop, guys!" "Can I just dance?" "Ew." "What?" "Oh, gosh." "You get what you pay for." "Ugh." "(GRUNTING)" "(RYAN AND JUSTIN LAUGHING)" "RYAN:" "All right, let's do it again." "Roll up the windows." "BOTH:" "Here we go!" "Here we go!" "(SCREAMING)" "You look really different without your uniform." "Is that a compliment or an insult?" "All right, young lady." "I'm the cop here, so I'll be asking the remainder of the questions, ma'am." "Oh, okay." "First off..." "How on earth do you not have a boyfriend?" "Honestly, Justin, I have the worst taste in men." "Thank you." "No, I mean..." "I'm a psycho magnet." "I don't know." "Give me an example." "Okay" "Right now, there's this guy who keeps coming in to my work and bothering me." "And normally, I would just tell him to get lost... but he's like real deal scary." "Next time this guy shows up at your work you tell him I want his number." "Seriously, he seems like my type." "(SNORTING)" "Whoa, is that real?" "Yeah, it happens sometimes." "I like it." "I like you." "Listen, I gotta tell you something." "What?" "And it's gonna sound crazy." "(SIREN BLARING)" "RYAN: (ON PA) Officer Chang, this is the LAPD..." "I'm gonna need you to stop creeping out that girl and get back to work." "(SIREN BLARES) All right!" "(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)" "JUSTIN:" "I have to tell her." "She's too good of a girl, man." "And now she's sitting over here thinking I'm Denzel in Training Day." "More like Ethan Hawke." "What's that?" "What are those?" "Oh, this?" "You sew those on?" "I got promoted to sergeant." "You promoted yourself?" "I feel like I deserved it." "I don't want you getting too weird with this." "I'm not getting too weird, Chang!" "Stop calling me Chang." "Look at your nametag." "I would love to meet the 6-foot-1" "Chinese guy that can fit this outfit." "DISPATCHER: (ON RADIO) All units, all units, we have a 2735 in progress..." "Stop, I wanna hear this." "A 2735 in progress..." "Domestic disturbance." "Sweet." "Let's hit that shit." "(SIREN BLARING)" "(SIREN STOPS) No." "What are you doing?" "Yes." "No!" "Yes, let's get in the shit." "(SIREN BLARING)" "No!" "(SIREN STOPS)" "(SIREN BLARING) Don't!" "We're getting in the shit!" "We're not getting in the shit!" "We're getting in the shit!" "No!" "I'm a sergeant!" "(SIREN BLARING)" "(SIREN STOPS)" "Oh, I'm gonna kill you, Justin." "I'm gonna kill you." "DISPATCHER:" "Reported suspects are 3 females, early 20's, possibly intoxicated." "Oh, that's how it's sweet." "Light them cherries up!" "Whoo!" "(SIREN BLARING)" "What if the real cops come?" "Are you kidding?" "It'll take at least an hour." "It's a domestic disturbance call." "How do you know that?" "Would you shut up and let me do my job here?" "Wait, wait, wait." "What?" "(WHISPERING) What's the plan?" "The plan is we control the situation." "That's what the YouTube video said." "YouTube?" "Police!" "Open up!" "I'm gonna wait in the car, bro." "Chang!" "Get your ass back here right now." "You're my partner..." "Thank God you're here!" "Oh, yeah, thank God we are here." "Absolutely." "What seems to be the problem, ma'am?" "It's my sorority sisters." "Please hurry and come in." "Sorority sisters." "Oh, I thought you said you were gonna wait in the car, Chang." "I'm not." "I thought you said you were gonna wait in the car." "Stand down." "You stand down!" "I'm the sergeant, Chang." "I'm going first." "(WOMEN YELLING)" "What the hell?" "You need to get out." "(SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)" "Well, I'm out." "Chang." "Chang!" "We gotta control the situation." "Are you kidding me?" "Hey, hey!" "You need to stop!" "I'm controlling the situation!" "You need to give me the phone!" "You're gonna get your ass whooped!" "Help!" "(SLAPS)" "I will control the situation..." "Ow!" "Chang, help!" "JUSTIN:" "All right!" "Don't touch me!" "Calm down, sir!" "Excuse me?" "That's a ma'am!" "Oh." "Oh." "You guys seem like two classy ladies." "Let's handle this like adults." "Yes." "What is your name?" "Precious." "She ain't that precious." "What is your real name?" "Precious." "Yeah, but when you were born, what did your..." "Not your gang name or your stripper name." "Precious." "Ma'am, for the last time, what is your name?" "It's Precious." "Precious, okay, that's cool." "That's a very pretty name." "So Precious, great name, why don't you tell us what's going on here?" "I'll tell you what's going on!" "She's trying to get with my man behind my back!" "I ain't trying shit!" "Her man be texting me!" "Hell no!" "You're a lying-ass bitch!" "You call me a bitch again, bitch, and see what happens!" "Just don't call her a bitch again, okay?" "Here's what we're gonna do." "Give me your phone." "What you doing?" "Stop!" "JUSTIN:" "I'm gonna go home." "Stop it, we're cops." "Act like it." "I will be reading the part of D'Andre, the man in question." "JaQuandae!" "JaQuandae." "You read JaQuanda." "I'm not gonna do that." ""What are you doing?"" "Why do you get to read the boy?" "Justin!" ""What are you doing?"" "(IMITATING FEMALE VOICE) "Eating soup." ""Trying to lose some weight and stuff."" "And I did." ""Girl, you ain't gotta lose shit." JaQUANDAE:" "Thank you." ""'Cause you fine as wine."" ""Look, D'Andre, Don't be texting me again, okay?"" "You see?" ""Unless you wanna get them nuts up in my guts."" "Oh, that's sex!" "That's sex!" "(WOMEN CLAMORING)" "You can win this, J!" "What are you crazy?" "(SLAPS) Oh!" "I'm sorry!" "Oh no, you didn't!" "(GROANS)" "Oh, ho-ho!" "I felt it!" "(GRUNTS)" "I felt the squish!" "You hit my girl!" "Why would you do that?" "RYAN:" "J, control the situation!" "(GRUNTS)" "No!" "That's what you get!" "Don't even say it." "That's what you get." "JOSIE:" "Does this hurt?" "Ouch." "Yeah." "Ooh." "Still hurts." "How many bad guys were there?" "Um..." "Two, but the little girl, she could really fight." "She?" "What?" "You said she." "No, I didn't." "Why would I say she?" "I fight guys." "Whoa!" "Whoa." "Okay, now that scares the shit out of me, for real." "Thank you." "Wow." "It's cool that you're a make-up artist." "That's awesome." "Yeah, trying to be." "What do you mean?" "I don't know." "I'm not a make-up artist." "I'm a waitress." "When do I face reality and just..." "You can't give up on a dream." "Look at all this work you've done." "That's the last thing you wanna do." "Or else you're gonna regret it for the rest of your life." "Yeah, I guess so." "It's pretty insightful for a badass cop." "Okay, Josie, wait." "Um..." "I gotta tell you something." "This..." "This is not me." "It's not." "Josie." "Please." "Okay, Josie..." "I need to tell you something." "I'm not a cop, okay?" "I am a cop." "Holy fuck, I'm a cop!" "I'm a motherfucking cop!" "Wow." "Wow." "Wait, what?" "No, whoa, what I meant to say is..." "I'm not a good cop." "For you, I'm not." "Yeah, put those away." "It's hard to concentrate." "(WHISPERS) Oh, my God, I'm so hot." "Oh, my gosh." "Why didn't you tell me?" "Oh, no, no, no." "I'm all me." "I like ladies." "I'm a lady's man, baby." "You really need to stop talking." "(CELL PHONE DIALING)" "RYAN:" "I'm so proud of you, Chang." "We just kissed, dude." "But the next time I see her, I'm telling her the truth." "But tonight we're going big." "(SIREN BLARING) Yeah, man!" "(SINGING) Because we're cops" "Cops Cops" "Trying to earn a living" "(SIREN WAILS) Hey, hey, hey, shut up, actually." "Oh, shit!" "We're fine." "Relax." "Oh, shit!" "Pull over!" "Fuck!" "Oh, damn it." "Shit, we're gonna go to jail." "I don't wanna go to jail." "I don't wanna braid hair." "They hide cell phones in their butts." "Shut up!" "We're not going to jail." "Just relax." "This will be interesting." "Here's what we're gonna do." "On the count of 3, I'm gonna bolt." "What?" "Let's see if they can catch us." "What are you talking about?" "Let me handle this." "Don't say a word." "Don't do anything stupid." "RYAN:" "You don't do anything stupid." "Don't do anything, Ryan." "Honestly, shut up." "Code 4, we're all clear." "Move on." "You don't have any plates on your vehicle." "We're not sure what to make of that." "We were on a 288." "While we were inside, somebody stole our plates." "Is that right?" "Mmm-hmm." "That's right." "So I said, Code four." "Move on." "POLICE OFFICER:" "Oh, shit." "I'm sorry, Sergeant." "I didn't see the stripes." "We've been getting a lot of calls about stolen cop cars." "I'm Officer Segars, this is Officer Jackson." "Sorry, Sergeant, we should have called it in first." "Well, goddamn it, guys!" "Don't let it happen again, all right?" "That's amateur hour." "Yes, sir." "Yes, sir." "Look, I don't mean to scold you." "I was young and hungry once, too." "I get it." "I'm Officer O'Malley." "This is my best friend and partner, Officer Chang." "SEGARS:" "Best friend, huh, and partner?" "Oh, I wish I could say the same." "Listen, I'm kind of embarrassed about this." "Is there any way I can make it up to you?" "We're about to get off." "How about we take you guys out and buy you a couple of drinks?" "Oh..." "To a cool cop bar?" "Yeah, it's the coolest." "If you're buying, we're drinking." "I don't have any money on me." "Well, yeah, the first round." "I'm sorry." "Unfortunately, we're a little tired." "We had a long day, so we're..." "RYAN:" "I don't know if you guys got the memo... but Chang here is a bit of a whang." "(LAUGHS MOCKINGLY)" "Hey, let me tell you something." "Jackson here is no peach either." "Non-stop donut farts." "(SIREN BLARING)" "Never a dull moment, am I right, Sarge?" "6-Adam-7." "We got a Code 30 at Ace Hardware." "(WHISPERING) Dude, no!" "We're Code 6." "Let's go." "No, no, no." "What are you doing?" "We're getting their six." "No, we're not!" "Wanna take the lead on this, Sarge?" "Me?" "No, you guys go ahead." "I'm gonna evaluate you guys, individually and as a team." "Go." "We got eyes on you." "Holy shit." "(SIREN STOPS)" "LAPD!" "Los Angeles Police Department!" "(CLATTERING)" "Shh, shh." "Let's go." "No, no, no." "(WHIMPERING)" "Don't you crawl." "I'm crawling." "Ow." "(WHISPERING) What?" "What did you do?" "I don't know." "Two here." "Okay, great." "Copy that." "What is he saying?" "They're going in from the west perimeter and we're going to the east perimeter." "No, we're not going to any perimeter." "Copy that." "Dude, Ryan!" "No, no, no!" "Your gun's fake." "Let's go." "Shut the fuck up." "Your gun's not real." "Don't touch a shooter's arm!" "(ARGUING INDISTINCTLY)" "(SCREAMING)" "Come on, pig motherfuckers!" "Don't call us pigs!" "Where did you get that?" "You wanna get weird, let's get weird." "Oh, my God!" "Hold on!" "Hold it!" "Hold it." "Hold it." "Just take off, all right?" "We're not gonna chase you." "Stay right here." "We are gonna chase you." "Do not listen to him." "He's an idiot." "He's an idiot." "You can go." "We are police officers." "I promise you we won't chase you." "I promise we will chase you, and I promise I'll catch you, you rat." "JUSTIN:" "Don't look at him." "I swear to you..." "I pinky swear, we will not chase you." "I pinky swear." "Just touch it." "He almost did it!" "Oh, my God." "Okay." "Let me just get this straight." "Did you just pinky-swear with a perp?" "Yeah." "That's the most embarrassing thing I've ever lived through!" "What are you talking about?" "Did you see how strong he was?" "He looked like Pacquiao and Fabio had a baby!" "(YELLING)" "Take him, Sarge, take him!" "Go ahead." "This one's all you." "Nope." "Go ahead." "Nope." "You got it, Sarge!" "Watch and learn." "I came in like a wrecking ball" "Oh, shit!" "I never hit so hard at love" "All I wanted was to break your walls on, my God!" "(SCREAMING)" "All you ever did was wreck me" "Oh, my God!" "Yeah, you, you wreck me" "(SCREAMING HYSTERICALLY)" "Wait, wait, wait." "Hold, hold, hold." "JUSTIN:" "Let me up!" "Let me up!" "Come here." "There you go!" "(WHOOPS) Way to go, Chang!" "Where is the other guy?" "What?" "What other guy?" "What are you talking about?" "The other perp." "I think it was just that guy." "You pinky swear about that?" "There were 2." "Yeah, 2." "Let's find them then, guys!" "Come on!" "You take the front, we'll take the back, all right?" "Yep, absolutely." "JUSTIN:" "All right." "All right!" "Chang." "Do not Tom Cruise run." "Yeah!" "Whoo!" "That is living, man!" "I still taste that guy's sweat in my mouth." "Congratulations." "That is the taste of victory, man." "It's your first collar, dude." "Dude, that was way too close." "Seriously." "What's the worst that could happen?" ""Simply wearing a police badge is" ""punishable by 1 year minimum in a federal..."" "What the fuck?" ""The use of official police equipment..." ""is punishable by up to 2 years in a federal penitentiary."" ""Driving a vehicle with red or blue lights is punishable..." ""by up to 3 years imprisonment and $200,000 fine."" "What about a whole damn police car?" "Everybody get down" "(SHOUTING)" "(KIDS SCREAMING)" "(KIDS GASP)" "Which one of you little pricks asked me what I do all day?" "I'm a cop." "(CHUCKLES)" "Joey, hop in." "Out of my way." "Take a lap, little boys." "(CHUCKLES)" "(SIREN WAILS)" "He's a cop, Ron!" "He ain't shit!" "(RYAN LAUGHING)" "I love it, man." "Look, you had a great shift." "You keep it up... and I'll give you that badge I promised you." "What the hell have you been doing?" "Jesus, you scared the shit out of me." "And who is this?" "It's Joey." "He's our intern." "Ryan, are you insane?" "No." "We could go to jail for years for this shit." "And now you have a little kid involved?" "Who's this bitch?" "(SNORTS)" "I will slap that little afro off your head." "You're good." "Dude, this is it, all right?" "Take the uniform off." "We're throwing them away." "We are done." "Seriously." "You wanna retire?" "(CELL PHONE RINGS)" "JUSTIN:" "Shit." "This is Chang." "You're good." "JOSE:" "I need you to come down here right away." "I'm at Georgia's." "Wait." "What's wrong, Josie?" "Please come down as soon as you can." "Hurry." "Yeah, but just tell..." "Hello?" "Damn it." "Did you hear that?" "Looks like we're coming out of retirement, homeboy." "We gotta go around back to surprise them." "RYAN:" "All right, here's what we're gonna do." "I'm gonna bum-rush in, I'm gonna say my killer line... then you come in and repeat everything I said." "No." "Ready, and..." "Yippee-ki-yay, bitches!" "Everyone down!" "Yippee-ki-yay, bitches..." "Everyone..." "So you're the new sheriffs in town." "Acting all hard when I'm not here." "Well, I'm here now." "Huh." "Are you the new boyfriend?" "Can I talk to you for a second, please?" "All right, boyfriend." "RYAN:" "All right." "My buddy's gonna handle this." "Okay?" "That's real steel." "You don't mess with the Chang." "Listen, you gotta leave her alone now." "I'm not even talking to you like a police officer." "This is just me talking to you like a regular guy." "So this is you without a badge?" "Yeah." "It's just man-to-man." "(SLAPS)" "Okay, let's backtrack a little bit." "So I'm a cop now... (SLAPS)" "You did it again." "Yep." "(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)" "(THUGS LAUGHING)" "(SOBBING)" "You think you can fuck with my business?" "Are you threatening me?" "I'm a cop, asshole." "You ain't shit." "What?" "You wanna jump?" "Come on, bitch, let's go." "Let's do it." "Come on, let's go." "Jump." "You're not worth the paperwork." "(SPITS)" "(WHISPERING) I'm the law here." "Back off... of everything." "Next time you come to a call like this... who knows?" "(INHALES SHARPLY)" "Bullets fly." "Cops get hit all the time." "JUSTIN:" "All right, so we're just gonna come clean and tell these guys everything." "Everything except for the fact that we've been pretending to be cops." "What?" "No." "It's called taking responsibility." "This shit has gone way too far." "It sounds stupid, man." "It's not stupid." "It is stupid." "It's smart." "By principle, it's stupid." "Justin, you could still stop right now." "Shut up." "Hi." "Listen I don't know where to begin..." "I should probably do the talking here..." "Shh." "I guess we want to file a police report." "Mmm-hmm." "What kind of report?" "Uh, he and I have been pretending to be cops for the past couple of weeks." "Excuse me?" "It sounds crazy." "Mmm-hmm." "Yeah. it started out just as fun... but now we're in a lot of trouble and we need help." "From real cops." "Hold on a second there, Angie." "Don't believe a word these guys say." "Oh, fuck." "These guys are a couple of real jokers!" "SEGARS:" "Let me guess." "You guys came down here to help me fill out all that paperwork... you ditched us with the other night, am I right?" "That's right, yeah." "No." "Good to see you guys again." "Come on back." "We're gonna go back." "This guy is a rascal." "No, I'm being serious." "We're really not cops." "That's not funny." "George Segars, he said don't worry about it." "Help me." "Please!" "See you, Angie." "JUSTIN:" "We're not cops." "It's not funny." "SEGARS:" "His name's Mossi Kasic." "He's top of the shitlist." "I'm surprised you guys haven't heard of him." "I deal with guys like this on a daily basis, Segars." "I hear you, Sarge but this guy is different." "He runs a crew, preys on local shop owners... and immigrants like himself." "He muscles in... takes co-ownership of the businesses... and then uses it for money laundering and whatnot." "He's an animal." "MOSSI:" "Hey, beautiful." "SEGARS:" "You can't reason with him, can't talk to him." "He loves to fight." "He lives for it." "(MEN SHOUTING)" "He's got this crazy temper." "He can snap, just like that." "It's all right." "(GRUNTS)" "SEGARS:" "He's taken down some big scores." "Every time we raid his place, though..." "nothing." "We can't find anything on the inside." "I gotta say, I want this guy bad." "It's good to hear." "I want him bad, too." "I think about it every night." "Me, too." "I just lay awake, staring at the ceiling... just thinking about different ways to nail him." "I'm obsessed with nailing this dude." "I wanna put him up on the wall, you know, and just... (GRUNTS)" ""What's my name?" That's right." "Anyways, that's probably never gonna happen." "What's going on, guys?" "Nothing." "We were just talking about Mossi." "Nobody in the community's gonna testify against him... and without hard evidence, we got nothing." "So why don't we do surveillance?" "Believe me, I'd love to do that, but it's a little bit above my pay grade." "Right." "However... between you and me, Sarge..." "Everything is." "SEGARS:" "This station has a shitload of equipment." "I'm talking about wiretaps, pinhole cameras, anything you want, I can get for you." "(WHISPERING) I want all of it." "All right." "Let's do it." "Yeah!" "Hey, Sarge, Brothers in Blue, should we sing it?" "Sing what?" "It's the academy song." "Come on." "Oh, yeah, yeah." "Fire it up." "(SINGING) Brothers in blue" "That's good." "This guy never stops, does he?" "There's a police song?" "I gotta learn that." "You're a fucking idiot." "(POLICE SIREN BLARING)" "We were supposed to turn ourselves in and now your checking out equipment?" "Dude, you heard the cop." "It's up to us to get this guy." "He is the devil's nephew." "We're not going near that guy!" "So let me get this straight." "You finally meet a girl that you like... and she likes you, and then some douchebag comes around... and says that you can't be with her... and your first thought is to run away?" "Yes." "He said he would kill me." "I'm not gonna let you run away, man." "(SCOFFS)" "You know what?" "What?" "You wanna know what people say about you?" "I know what they say." "But I haven't felt like this in a long time." "I'm good at this." "I need you, man." "I need you to..." "I need you to believe in me, man." "Please." "I'm in." "(CHUCKLES)" "Were you about to cry?" "Yeah, I don't wanna talk about it." "I got misty, my heart started pumping fast." "So how are we gonna find this guy?" "This is it." "God, I'm getting good at this detective stuff." "Is that why you're wearing that suit?" "Oh, yeah, I got promoted." "You promoted yourself again?" "Yeah." "I'm a detective." "JUSTIN:" "What do you think they're doing in there?" "I don't know, man." "Something shady, that's for sure." "Let's see if we can get inside and open those doors." "Let's see if we don't do that." "Listen, Chang... you've gotta stop being such a pussy, okay?" "Yeah, no shit." "Dude..." "I will whoop your little ass." "You will not touch his ass." "I will hit him." "(SLAPS)" "Don't you fucking hit me." "Don't!" "Oh, perfect." "(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)" "If I wasn't involved in a case right now, I would light you up." "That right there, that apartment, that's our vantage point." "But somebody lives in there." "Justin, then they better have good food... because they're about to be involved in their first stakeout!" "No." "(KNOCKING ON DOOR)" "RYAN:" "Police business, open up now." "Hi." "Hi." "You are a fox, aren't you?" "Detective?" "Absolutely, that's my title." "Dude." "Uh, ma'am, we're gonna need to come inside and talk to you for a minute, please." "Oh." "RYAN:" "All right." "(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)" "Oh, yeah." "It smells like a fish farted in here." "Look at that bald one." "He looks super racist." "Like he snores the "N" word at night." "I've seen every cop show ever." "I'm so excited we're going to be doing this together." "Yeah." "Just so we're clear, there's no "we" in this situation." "Don't be a dick." "I can still be a part of the team though, right?" "Absolutely." "No." "Also, I'm not on ecstasy." "No way." "I've had some very dramatic relationships." "My therapist says I need to meet a more stable guy." "I love a man in uniform." "You do?" "Sure." "I don't like this." "I did a three-way once with two paramedics." "Ma'am, I'm going to need you to go to your room." "All right." "Alone." "You do not know what vibage is, pal." "Why would you do that?" "I think she's an interesting lady and she's got a lot to offer this team." "We are doing surveillance." "We don't have time." "Ow." "(CAMERA CLICKING)" "All right, we got action, people." "Oh, good work, Joe." "Who is that?" "I think he's the boss." "Take photos of his henchmen." "You got good ones?" "How fun is this?" "I'm sorry to bother you, but I need some help." "It's my bubble bath." "It's not wet enough." "No." "Yes." "That's our civic duty." "JUSTIN:" "No, it's not." "Focus. (CHOKES)" "We would love to help you, ma'am, but we can't... because we're on a case and we take our job seriously." "That is so hot." "You're so hot." "MAN: (ON RECORDING) Listen to me very carefully." "I need you to lay low." "Very low." "For now." "The Dominicans are going to make the delivery." "And you're not going to do shit with it until I say so." "Understood?" "You gonna keep everything underground." "Underground?" "What is he talking about?" "Deliver what?" "I don't know." "JUSTIN:" "What's this?" "This is the shipment." "This is our evidence." "JUSTIN:" "How do you know that?" "Because it's a cargo van, and these are all bad guys." "JUSTIN:" "These guys are terrible-looking people." "Open it." "Oh..." "Shit." "So?" "They tell me their badge numbers don't match up." "Which tells me one thing." "They're not LAPD." "Oh, we're dead." "So, what are they?" "Feds, ATF, maybe a special unit." "What?" "Yeah, we're black ops, dude." "So, you're going to be invisible until I can figure it out." "ANNIE:" "Just to be clear... if that little guy wasn't here... some serious weird shit would be going on right now." "What kind of weird shit?" "RYAN:" "You are an acrobatic angel, aren't you?" "Ah." "Joey, turn around." "RYAN:" "Oh!" "JUSTIN:" "Okay." "There she goes." "RYAN:" "Boom, we got them." "Now what's in those crates?" "I'm seeing it the same time you're seeing it." "How would I know that?" "I need to narrate it, because that's what you do in these situations." "You see something and one of the guys says it out loud." "And the other guy, you, is supposed to go, "Yeah."" "RYAN:" "Oh, shit, dude." "We gotta know what's inside those crates." "JUSTIN:" "So, what do we do now?" "Joey, watch the fort." "Where are you going?" "Wait a minute, actually." "Oh... (MOANING)" "ANNIE:" "That is so hot." "RYAN:" "There he is." "This is a terrible idea." "Is it?" "(SIREN BLARING) Dude, are you kidding?" "No." "He's a gang member." "Exactly." "Relax, I'm just gonna go talk to him." "I will not relax." "You're an idiot." "I got this." "Hello." "You have the right to remain silent..." "(MAN SCREAMING)" "Here we go." "Justin, help me now!" "Anything you say can be used against you in a court of law." "You have the right to an attorney." "If you can't afford an attorney, one will be appointed..." "He's biting my neck!" "He's biting my neck!" "Ow!" "(PANTING) Can I talk to you for a second?" "Sure." "(SHOUTING) What the fuck!" "We've gotta find out what's in those crates." "Are you kidding me?" "I'm not..." "No!" "Get in!" "Get in the car!" "Okay" "So we're kidnapping people now?" "No, Justin, it's called an interrogation." "Where are we going to interrogate him?" "(ELEVATOR DINGS)" "(MAN SHOUTING IN SPANISH)" "(WHISPERING) He's just a friend." "He's just a friend." "(MAN CONTINUES SHOUTING)" "(MAN SHOUTING IN SPANISH)" "RYAN:" "We gotta get the information out of him about what's in those crates." "He doesn't even speak English, dude." "Then we torture him." "You're the mysterious one." "You have to be bad cop." "So now I'm torturing him?" "Hey, who said anything about torture, Your Honor?" "You just did 3 seconds ago." "Shut up, dude." "RYAN:" "This is a serious moment." "Make him talk." "You can do it." "All right." "You can do it!" "Yeah, born ready!" "(MAN CONTINUES SHOUTING IN SPANISH)" "Listen to me, you little dick-snatch... (SHOUTING IN SPANISH)" "(SPITS)" "(SCREAMS)" "What was that?" "He spit in my face." "He's not afraid of me." "You know what, then make him afraid of you." "Reservoir Dogs, dude." "Gut the ear." "Be realistic for once." "(STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU PLAYING)" "Lift up that side." "I'm trying." "RYAN:" "What's in those crates?" "What's in those crates?" "This is not how you waterboard." "Yes it is!" "Have you seen Zero Dark Thirty?" "No, but I know how to waterboard, though." "Stop drinking it!" "(MAN SCREAMING)" "(BOTH SCREAMING)" "(GRUNTS)" "What the hell, man?" "It's sad what you're trying to do." "It's embarrassing." "All right." "I hate Mossi." "Everybody does." "I'll tell you anything you want to know." "Just stop this shit!" "Why didn't you say that before?" "And that you spoke English." "You didn't ask." "You guys pulled me out of my truck." "You drag me across the fucking ground." "That's on me." "You throw me in the back of a cop car." "Point the guns in my face!" "Look, maybe we got off on the wrong foot here." "Yeah, maybe." "You want a beer?" "Yeah, beer sounds good." "What's your name?" "My name is Pupa." "If we untie you, do you promise not to freak out and kill us?" "I promise not to freak out." "PUPA:" "Ah, man!" "For real, I don't know what's in those crates." "But Mossi paid some heavy cash for whatever's in there." "But how do we find out?" "Mossi's having one of his parties tonight." "I hear shit gets crazy." "At least 3 people die, everytime he has a party." "What?" "Those crates will be there... but if you wait until tomorrow that shit's going to be gone." "So we gotta do it tonight." "You gotta do it tonight." "(LAUGHS)" "Shit, this game is gangster!" "Really?" "Gangster?" "It is, man, I tell you." "Where can I buy this thing?" "You see, Pupa, it's kind of complicated." "There's a lot that goes into making games these days." "Oh, Justin." "A lot of politics." "I'm talking to a lot of people." "It sounds like you bitched out, is what it sounds like." "You gotta go in there and fight for your shit." "Don't you believe in yourself?" "You gotta go in there and tell them..." ""This is my game." "We're going to do it my way." ""Put the game out there now, for people to buy it."" "I gotta say, we have to get into that party." "We gotta get in that party tonight." "I don't understand what you're saying." "When you start getting excited, your English escapes you... and you get really native in your tongue." "How do we get into that party?" "When I'm speaking English but it still sounds like... (SPEAKING IN OTHER LANGUAGE)" "Like that, I don't what you're saying." "PUPA:" "You didn't get any of that?" "Qué?" "PUPA:" "You didn't get any..." "Qué?" "Holy shit." "What?" "What?" "This is gonna sound a little bit weird..." "But you two could pass as brothers." "Ew!" "No, this guy's gross!" "No offense." "No offense?" "You just said, "Ew."" "The last person who said, "Ew" to me, was my mother." "Hmm." "PUPA:" "You guys know where she is right now?" "Heaven?" "You got it." "Heaven." "Hopefully from natural causes?" "If me getting angry and doing something foolish is natural causes... then yes." "You look handsome." "Thank you." "A great-looking guy." "Now I'm here to play war." "Hey, Chang." "How do I make you... look like him?" "(SIGHS)" "Shit." "How much time we got?" "Uh..." "Shut up." "I need a water, three bowls and a lemon peel." "Come on, people, let's go!" "That's my girl." "She said she'd done a three-way with a couple of paramedics." "Mmm-hmm I think this the marrying type." "Sounds like it to me." "All right." "Are you ready?" "RYAN:" "We're ready." "PUPA:" "Oh, ho-ho." "That's handsome." "Well..." "I look like someone hit me in the face with Lil Wayne." "(PUPA AND RYAN LAUGHING)" "Lil Wayne!" "He made a joke about Lil Wayne!" "Oh, shit!" "That's funny." "Hey, Josie, I gotta say you're one heck of an artist." "Thank you." "PUPA:" "You're fine, too, girl." "Yeah, she's pretty." "Josie, Josie, look at me." "Look at me." "Don't do intense right now." "Okay." "You're crazy fine, that's all I'm saying." "RYAN:" "That's a compliment, now let it go." "(WHISPERS) Just gonna say one more thing." "I wouldn't, though, is what I'm saying." "I promise it's going to be okay." "I mean, I would like to take off your dress... and put my penis inside of you." "I'd really like to get all up in that shit." "No, like in her vagina, though." "RYAN:" "I know, but you can't say that." "Appreciate it." "I wouldn't put it in your butt." "JOSIE:" "I gotta go." "PUPA:" "And a good day to you, madame." "Do you think I could put "Undercover sting operation for the LAPD" on my resume?" "Absolutely." "Did you see when I said "madame?" That's French." "That was sweet." "Here you go, buddy." "What if I start sweating, dude?" "These tattoos are gonna run down my face." "Then don't sweat." "What do you mean, "Don't sweat?" I'm not doing this." "Why you got to be such a bitch?" "Pupa, don't call me a bitch." "You made such a cool game." "If you make it, then you got to play it." "I've been saying that this whole time." "You made such a cool game, (CHANGES ACCENT) now you gotta play it." "What are you doing with your accent?" "What are you doing with your voice?" "I was agreeing with you." "But you have an accent." "I know you are agreeing with me, but you're saying it like I was." "What I'm saying is, you made a great game and I believe in you." "So, now, you just gotta (CHANGES ACCENT) play it." "All right, dude." "Feel free to rob him." "Oh, boy." "He can't hear you." "I'm just going to ignore him from now on." "How is this on me?" "This is insane." "Listen, Justin, no matter what happens... no matter what anyone says to you, all you gotta say to them is... (SPEAKING SPANISH)" "What does that mean?" "It means, "Suck my balls and cock, you cocksucker."" "Yeah, just say that." "Okay." "Good luck, homes." "You're gonna need it." "(LAUGHS)" "Look, I'm telling you, we look a lot alike." "But Mossi is probably gonna recognize that you're not me... and then he gonna cut your face off!" "All right." "Is that...?" "What are you talking about?" "Whoo!" "I'm sorry." "It's not funny." "Wait a second." "What?" "PUPA:" "One extra touch for you." "Pretty good, right here." "Oh God, no." "Just trust him." "Put it in." "You put this in your mouth." "Ow." "Ryan!" "You'll need it." "You need it, man." "Here they come." "Ow." "Ow." "Aah!" "(MUSIC PLAYING)" "I'm going to die here." "It smells like prison and bad parenting." "Oh!" "Oh!" "RYAN: (THROUGH EARPIECE) Relax!" "You'll be in and out." "All we gotta do is find out what's in those crates and you'll be done." "We'll get footage of it, and you're out." "That's easy for you to say." "They are all staring at me." "Then stare back at them." "You are a cholo vato killer!" "Own that shit!" "I suck balls and cock." "Ah." "Coño." "That's what I thought." "Ah, dude, I think it's working!" "Hell yeah, Chang!" "You tell them!" "(CHUCKLES)" "(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)" "RYAN:" "Nice!" "Okay, we're in!" "Dude, those chicks are hot." "(WHISPERING) Shut up, dude." "I'm freaking out." "Just relax." "Be like everybody else or you'll stand out." "Good." "Dude!" "What are you doing?" "I'm doing my white girl dance." "Stop doing that shit!" "There's got to be some sort of back room or storage area." "You've got some balls coming in here." "THUG:" "Come with me." "Mossi's gonna wanna speak to you." "Been looking for you." "Okay." "(WHISPERING) Shit, what do I do?" "RYAN:" "I don't know, but don't be nervous." "But don't fuck it up, either." "The fuck are you doing here?" "I best not be finding out you lost one of my crates." "RYAN:" "Make him say what's in those crates!" "Um..." "What exactly are we referring to in those crates, bro?" "Hit this shit." "Nah, bro." "I'm already super piped-out." "I was like, this pipe, that pipe, every pipe." "You know what I'm saying?" "You feel me?" "Coño." "I didn't ask." "Just do it, dude." "He's testing you." "(COUGHING)" "(ALL LAUGHING)" "You just got cranked up, fool." "(CONTINUES COUGHING)" "Ryan, what did I just smoke?" "What does "cranked up" mean?" "You just smoked crystal meth, dude." "Crystal meth?" "It's not going to affect you." "It's not going to affect me?" "What are you talking about?" "Right there!" "They have a basement!" "You gotta go down there." "No way, dude." "Frigging twitching right now." "Do not puss out now!" "I'm pussing out." "Listen to me." "You gotta go down there and see what that was." "You listen to me, all right?" "I'm having a heart attack right here!" "All right, just open up that window." "Okay." "Okay." "(SCREAMING)" "RYAN:" "Why'd you hit me in the face for?" "It's me!" "Move!" "I've got an awesome entrance." "Fuck, yeah!" "That wasn't cool." "What the fuck are you wearing?" "Here's where we're at." "I did some intel, and that's their safehouse down there." "As the leader in our situation," "I'm gonna check that out first." "You're gonna hang out in the hallway and stand guard, okay?" "What?" "No, dude, I'm on crystal meth!" "I know, it's awesome." "I'm very jealous of that." "How fun is it?" "I've done it 11 times." "Eleven?" "And I smoked crack once." "Let's go!" "No, please." "Don't leave me alone here." "Please, I'm itching." "I've got this post-nasal drip thing going." "(SNORTS) (RETCHES)" "Don't do that!" "You're gonna make me..." "Don't..." "Hey!" "Think about something else." "Think about apple pie." "(RETCHING)" "I've got to take my teeth out." "I gotta take the hat off." "I gotta take this thing off my ear." "Wig off." "(BOTH RETCHING)" "(TOILET FLUSHING)" "Okay, come on." "(GROANS)" "What the hell are you doing?" "JUSTIN:" "Oh, shit." "I can't stop twitching." "Okay, just don't think about it." "It's a mind thing." "Okay" "RYAN: (WHISPERING) Come on, J." "I'm so scared." "Hold my hand." "I'm not holding your hand." "Dude, I think I'm addicted to crystal meth." "You just smoked it once." "Oh, my God." "I would suck dick for this high." "You've got to be kidding." "I wouldn't, but what if I do?" "I don't want to suck dick." "Because I know I'm gonna get good at it." "Oh!" "(LAUGHING)" "Shit!" "Look at all these lights!" "Not the lights." "We're excited about the guns, right?" "Right." "Right." "RYAN:" "Holy shit." "Justin, it's the crates." "Check it out." "Jackpot, dude." "Jack-motherfucking-pot." "See these tags?" "Yeah, man." "You know what these are?" "These were confiscated by the police." "Yeah." "They were supposed to destroy this shit." "He stole all this." "I feel real good right now." "I want to build a porch." "We should build a porch!" "Right now!" "That'd be great." "Right." "I don't even know if I'm good at woodwork or anything... but I feel like I can do that." "Mmm." "Dude, look at me." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey, hey." "You wanna go crazy, dude?" "No." "Neither do I." "Thank you." "That makes me feel like a leader." "Holy shit." "You know what this is?" "Clothes." "This is actual SWAT gear, man." "Let's be real." "We're never gonna build a porch." "We're just lying to ourselves, man." "I just want to die, dude." "What the hell is going on with you, man?" "Something's going on inside my heart." "It hurts." "Let's go, meth head, now." "I'm sorry." "Now!" "I'm sorry, man." "I feel so sad!" "RYAN:" "Stop." "RYAN: (WHISPERING) Whoa." "Look at how far this one goes." "What are you doing?" "This is so white trash, I don't even know what I'm saying." "(JUSTIN VOCALIZING)" "What is that sound?" "Our heroes rise from the depths of Hades!" "Stop, dude." "You're getting so scary." "Hey, man, where are you going?" "Wait up." "I got it." "Mossi looks like the original General Zod." "Hey!" "Aah!" "Hey" "You and me, right now." "Wait!" "I'll rip your head off!" "(METAL MUSIC PLAYING) (CROWD CHEERING)" "Timeout, okay?" "(GROWLS)" "Seriously, guys!" "(RINGING)" "(GRUNTS)" "(THUDS)" "(INAUDIBLE)" "(MUFFLED LAUGHTER)" "(THUDS)" "(ALL CHEERING)" "Uh-huh." "Who's next?" "Fuck." "Check it out." "It's a jackpot." "What?" "Look, with the guns... with the SWAT, and Mossi's boss, I got all his guys pinned." "I've got enough evidence to put this guy away for years." "That's great, man." "Remember that long tunnel?" "See where it leads?" "It leads to Georgie's." "Oh." "That's why he wants Georgie's so bad." "It's not about money laundering." "It's about having control... of both ends of the tunnel." "Do you see?" "Why?" "That's the right question." "Do you remember Segars said that every time that they raid Mossi... they come up with nothing." "He's using the tunnel as an escape route to get rid of all the stuff." "I cracked the case, man." "I'm getting so good at this that it's scary." "Where are you going with that?" "To the police station, to turn it in." "No, you're not." "We're mailing it in... anonymously like we said." "Justin, come on." "This is my collar." "No one can know this was us." "What is wrong with you?" "I worked hard on this." "Why are you getting so pissed off?" "Because I almost died in there!" "All right." "Look at my face!" "I smoked crystal meth!" "That's not funny!" "All right." "And for what?" "So you could have some self-worth for once?" "Where is this coming from, man?" "I didn't do this for my self-worth or whatever!" "I did it to get a guy like Mossi off the streets... and we're going to!" "Unlike you, who runs away... anytime anything in your life gets tough!" "And maybe that's why you're still nowhere." "Oh, I'm still nowhere?" "Me?" "Yeah, you." "You've been moping around for 8 years!" "Complaining about, "Oh, life screwed me." "That's why I didn't go pro."" "Life did screw me." "That's why I didn't go pro." "You jumped off a roof at a pool party." "That's how you injured yourself." "Be careful of where you're going right now." "Life didn't screw you." "You screwed yourself." "Take some responsibility for once." "Why don't you act like a man for once, because you might like the way it feels." "You know what?" "Everyone was right about you." "About what?" "You're a loser." "(DOOR SLAMS)" "Be a man." "All right, okay." "I'll show you what a man does." "(ENGINE ACCELERATING) I'll show you what a man does!" "SEGARS:" "You got Mossi?" "I got him." "(CHUCKLES)" "Wow." "In this envelope, I got enough hard evidence... to put away Mossi Kasic for a lot of years." "Holy cow!" "You and Chang make a great team, you know?" "Yeah." "I gotta get this in the right hands right away." "Can you help?" "Detective Brolin." "You've heard of him." "He's in charge of the Organized Crime Division." "He's gonna love this." "Might as well go straight to the top." "Straight to the top." "(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)" "Let's do this." "Mmm." "What's up, baby girl?" "Carl, park in my spot one more time and I'm gonna punch you in the dick." "Larry!" "Fuck you!" "Okay." "Okay." "Okay!" "All right!" "(KNOCKING ON DOOR) There he is." "Detective Brolin." "I would like you to meet Sergeant O'Malley." "O'Malley, this is Detective Brolin." "Pleasure." "Yeah." "Have a seat." "Sergeant O'Malley says he's got some hard evidence... on Mossi Kasic." "Enough to take him and his whole crew down." "There's some things in here I didn't put..." "It's okay." "It's okay." "I wanna take a look at it anyway." "Sergeant O'Malley has been doing some surveillance... of Mossi and his crew for quite awhile now." "I think he's got some good stuff in there, sir." "He seems pretty excited about it." "Give us a minute alone." "Yes, sir." "Not you." "Relax." "(DOOR SHUTS)" "Who are you?" "(SLAMS TABLE)" "I asked a question." "Who are you?" "Before you do anything, I already made copies of that." "Do you have a family?" "Are your parents still alive?" "Yeah, my parents are alive..." "No." "I am running a routine undercover investigation... to bring down Mossi Kasic... and you're interfering." "That's not true." "Oh, it's not true?" "No." "Well, whoever you are..." "I suggest you run, very far away... and grow eyes in the back of your head... because you're never gonna know when it's coming." "Do you know who I am?" "I'm the guy who's gonna..." "Take me down." "You've been watching too many movies." "Yeah." "But I'm still gonna take you down." "So I guess we'll see." "I guess we'll see." "Hey, O'Malley, where are you going?" "I forgot something in my car, Segars." "TODD:" "Wow." "This sucks shit." "This isn't cool." "When I came up with it, it was cool." "Where are their superpowers?" "We can give the firefighters superpowers." "(STAMMERING) It's just... (IMITATES STAMMERING) It's just what?" "JUSTIN:" "It's just your idea sucks shit, Todd." "What was that?" "I said your idea sucks shit." "Justin, where are you?" "Call me as soon as you get this." "You know that mobster, the guy we thought was Mossi's boss?" "He's a cop." "And he's got all of our evidence... which means Mossi knows everything." "Holy shit, dude!" "We're dead!" "Dead!" "Dead!" "Okay, no." "Everything is gonna be fine." "Nothing can trace back to us." "MAN:" "His name is Ryan O'Malley, and he currently lives with this guy..." "Justin Miller." "Okay, print everything out and bring it to my office." "Hold on a second." "I found the problem." "They're not even real cops." "What do you mean they're not real cops?" "Just what I said!" "We gotta take care of this right away." "Get it done!" "I want the word on the street, underground!" "Anyone who gets them!" "You're not even supposed to be in here, let alone talking." "A bunch of shirtless firefighters... spraying zombies with their hoses?" "What kind of game you trying to make, bro?" "I'm gonna give you one second to get the fuck out of here." "(SPEAKING SPANISH)" "You like that?" "This guy is crazy." "Yeah, ese." "Now, a few weeks ago..." "I pitched you a game and you didn't listen." "That really hurt my feelings." "You were there." "So were you." "Now, I'm going to pitch my game again and you're going to hear me out... or I'm going to beat the shit out of everyone in this room." "And I've fought women before." "I didn't Win... but I'm down to redeem myself." "What if we made a game so visceral... that it made you feel like you were in real life danger?" "To feel like it's about to go down?" "Don't think of it as a game." "Think of it as a real life experience." "(ELEVATOR DINGS)" "(RYAN PANTING)" "You are a cop." "(SIGHS)" "My game is about getting into situations you wouldn't be in in your normal life." "Situations that are dangerous." "Real." "Where it felt like you could actually get killed." "(SIGHS)" "(GUN COCKS) (GASPS)" "(OPERA MUSIC PLAYING)" "(THUDS)" "(GASPS)" "(GUNSHOTS FIRED) Aah!" "(WHEEZING)" "Real violence isn't like in the movies." "THUG:" "There he is!" "(GUNSHOTS FIRED)" "(SCREAMING)" "Gunfire is terrifying." "Bullets are sick." "They blast and rip through everything." "(RYAN CONTINUES SCREAMING)" "But isn't that what people want, right?" "To really feel what it's like to be in the shit?" "(SCREAMING)" "That's what I'm talking about, people." "WOMAN:" "Excuse me." "Justin, there is a police officer in the lobby to see you." "(CHUCKLES)" "No, no." "You can tell Ryan to wait, please." "Justin!" "Do not go home!" "I'm coming to your work!" "We are in a lot of trouble... (TIRES SQUEALING) No, no, no." "No, no, no!" "I can assure you that I will make this thing more real... than anything you have ever seen in your life." "How are you gonna show us this realistic violence, huh?" "Freeze!" "(PEOPLE SCREAMING)" "Nobody move!" "You!" "(WOMAN SCREAMS)" "(PEOPLE SCREAMING)" "(GRUNTS)" "(ALL CLAMORING)" "That's a presentation!" "Let's make this game!" "Aah!" "What the fuck have you guys been doing, huh?" "(CELL PHONE RINGS)" "JUSTIN:" "Dude, where the hell are you?" "MOSSI:" "Are you having fun?" "Justin Miller." "You wanna be a cop?" "Average police response time... 12 minutes." "Average time it takes for a man to bleed out, 7 minutes." "You do the math." "Ryan." "Ryan!" "Don't come, Justin!" "Run!" "Run!" "(PHONE BEEPS)" "Ryan!" "Fuck!" "(PHONE RINGING)" "Officer Segars." "Segars, it's Justin." "Who?" "It's Chang." "I'm Chang." "Chang?" "What the hell, you piece of shit!" "I'm hearing all kinds of crazy things!" "I know, I know." "And what you heard is true." "We're not cops." "It's true?" "But everything I'm about to tell you right now is real." "Mossi has got Ryan, and he is gonna kill him." "He's got him in an underground tunnel beneath Tirana, Mossi's club." "What underground tunnels are you talking about?" "It's their safehouse." "And there are cops involved." "They tried to shoot me." "Hey, you better watch what you're saying, Chang." "Just come to Tirana, and you'll see it for yourself." "Please!" "Where are you right now?" "(SCRAPING)" "How are you doing, partner?" "Long time no see." "Mmm." "You have the vest on." "That's not gonna help." "You're gonna die today." "And so is your friend." "So the best thing you can do is just tell me everything." "Who did you give the evidence to?" "How many copies do you have?" "Your choice." "You go quick and painless... or you're gonna endure something that is... unspeakable." "(BRAKES SQUEALING)" "Hey" "What are you doing down there?" "Josie, you gotta go, okay?" "Take Georgie and Lydia and get out of here right now." "What are you talking about?" "Don't come..." "I'm not a cop, okay?" "Why do you keep Saying that?" "It's complicated." "But what's most important is that you leave right now." "Then, if you're not a cop, who the hell are you?" "No one you want to know." "Now go." "Sorry to bother you gentlemen." "I need to come in... and take a look around." "(MUFFLED MUSIC PLAYING)" "RYAN:" "Just don't hurt him." "This was my idea." "Just let him be." "I'm the only one..." "Hey" "One of your pigs is upstairs." "I thought you had control of your cops." "Uh..." "No, no, no, Mossi, listen." "Mossi, listen to me." "You think he's gonna protect you?" "You think a guy like that is gonna protect you?" "Think about this." "I've got evidence to put him away for years." "You don't think he's gonna cover his tracks with you?" "Huh?" "Think, Mossi!" "What is your backup plan?" "(COCKS GUN)" "No, no." "No." "No, please." "No, no, no, please." "No, no, no!" "(GUNSHOT FIRED)" "No!" "Shit!" "(SCREAMING)" "That's my backup plan." "JUSTIN:" "Ryan!" "Ryan!" "(LAUGHING) (SCREAMING)" "Where do these doors go?" "MOSSI:" "This is gonna be so much easier if you just hold still." "(RYAN SCREAMING)" "MOSSI:" "Hold still!" "(BREATHING HEAVILY)" "(RYAN CONTINUES SCREAMING) MOSSI:" "Open." "Open." "Open." "RYAN:" "No!" "I'll shoot him!" "I'll shoot him!" "I swear to God..." "Oh..." "I had your 6, dude." "SEGARS:" "Drop your weapons!" "Get down!" "(SCREAMING)" "What are you doing?" "Saving your life!" "But don't get on top of me like this!" "I don't like this!" "6-Adam-7." "Shots fired." "Request all available units..." "Justin, get off!" "What the hell was that?" "RYAN:" "Help get these off me, quick." "Holy shit." "You all right?" "Yeah, are you okay?" "Yeah." "RYAN:" "Thank you for saving us..." "Just shut up!" "We didn't mean to screw you over." "It was never our intention to pull you into this." "I don't care." "Get upstairs and get outside!" "And take that thing off." "That's a uniform." "You gotta earn it." "You understand that, "Sarge?"" "Now get the fuck out of here." "SEGARS:" "6-Adam-7." "I need backup, now." "JUSTIN:" "What are you doing?" "(DISTANT GUNSHOTS)" "I can't do this." "He's outmanned, he's outgunned, and it's my fault." "You were right." "I gotta take responsibility for once." "That's not what I meant." "Wait!" "What, man?" "(GUNSHOTS CONTINUE) (SIGHS)" "No more running away, right?" "(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)" "(GUNS COCKING)" "(LAUGHING) Yeah." "(SCREAMING) What the fuck?" "My bad." "Let's not use these." "(GUNSHOTS FIRED)" "What are you doing?" "Get the hell out of here!" "Go!" "Now!" "(THUG YELLING)" "(RINGING)" "(GUNSHOTS CONTINUE)" "Here's what we gotta do." "We gotta pull the fire away from him." "He's stuck, okay?" "All right." "On the count of three, we gotta shoot like crazy, okay?" "Okay?" "Okay." "3,2,1." "(RYAN SHOUTING)" "(GUNS CLICKING) (SHOUTS)" "Segars!" "They killed Segars, man!" "RYAN:" "All right, we gotta find a door." "Look back here." "Let's go." "We gotta get the fuck out of here." "Shit, man." "What are we gonna do?" "(DOOR THUDDING)" "(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)" "(COCKS GUN)" "(BOTH EXCLAIMING)" "(BREATHING HEAVILY)" "Being in the shit isn't the shit." "No, it's not the shit." "(GUNSHOT FIRED)" "Look, man, I'm sorry about everything." "Everything I said." "I didn't mean..." "Justin, we're brothers." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah, we're brothers... (SCREAMS)" "(COCKS GUN)" "Get up, get up!" "Are you okay?" "(WHEEZING)" "Did I just get shot?" "No, it's just the spray." "You're okay." "We gotta go." "I just got shot!" "Like I haven't been shot before." "Come on!" "What?" "Let's go." "Before we die, I just want to tell you..." "If you tell me you love me, I'm gonna punch you in your face." "But we're about to die!" "But you were about to say that you loved me!" "Yeah." "Say something better." "Fuck you." "That's better." "Ryan?" "(COUGHING)" "Ryan?" "Ryan?" "(GRUNTS)" "Shit." "Chang!" "Oh!" "RYAN:" "Fuck, Chang!" "(GUN CLICKS)" "(GUN CLICKS)" "(GUNSHOT FIRED)" "(INDISTINCT POLICE CHATTER)" "Are you okay?" "Beside the fact that you shot me, I'm great, Chang." "I'm sorry." "Segars, those two with you?" "Yeah, we're good." "Code 4." "SERGEANT:" "All teams, 10-12." "Really too late to call so" "We waited for" "Morning to wake you That's all we got" "To know me as hardly golden" "ls to know me all wrong" "They were" "At every occasion I'll be" "Ready for a funeral" "At every occasion..." "JUSTIN:" "Life can get confusing... and you lose sight of the person you wanted to be." "SEGARS: (ON TV) The Los Angeles Police Department is proud to announce..." "Mossi Kasic is no longer a threat to this city." "Fortunately, I did not have to make this arrest alone." "This was truly a team effort." "RYAN:" "All right, man." "I'm passing this gauntlet on to you... so don't let these streets get all messed up again, all right?" "I got this shit, bro." "JUSTIN:" "Sometimes, you have to go through hell and back." "Or, we just blow shit up!" "JUSTIN:" "To see that the problems you thought were so big in your life... weren't so big after all." "Or not." "We could just do what you want to do." "Right." "The 2 cops have to work together to get out." "I think it could be great." "Are you writing this down?" "Give me that." "Write that down." "JUSTIN:" "And that courage you always wanted... you always had it." "You just needed to get in the game." "Hi." "Sorry, we don't serve liars here." "Can I get you a cup of bullshit for the road?" "Josie, I didn't come here to win you back." "Or go back to whatever we were before." "I just came here to tell you that I am truly sorry." "And this is what I should have done from the get-go." "Hi, I'm Justin." "Justin Miller." "I'm a 30-year-old video game designer and I have a roommate." "Nice to meet you." "I'm sorry." "I'm Josie." "It's nice to meet you, too." "POLICE CAPTAIN:" "Officer Nicholas Thomas." "Officer Ryan O'Malley." "JUSTIN:" "And with hard work... and a little help from a friend... you can become that guy you have always wanted to be." "Thank you." "Yeah!" "(SIREN WAILS)" "(PEOPLE CLAMORING)" "(BRAKES SQUEALING)" "(SIGHS)" "(I WANT IT THAT WAY PLAYING)" "Aren't you a little out of your jurisdiction?" "I'm off-duty, civilian." "And get in." "(ENGINE REVVING)" "Easy, dude!" "(SHOUTING) (SCREAMING)" "(LAUGHING)" "What's Pupa doing here?" "He's my informant." "Now that I need ears on the street." "I'm the ears and the eyes on the street for him to know." "DISPATCHER: (ON RADIO) All units be advised." "Possible 2-11 Sierra in progress." "Awesome, a 2-11 Sierra." "Okay, drop me off right here." "Oh, why are you being such a bitch?" "Pupa, stop calling me a bitch!" "(SIREN BLARING)" "Dispatch, we are in route." "No, we are not in route." "(SIREN STOPS)" "Yes, we are." "(SIREN BLARING)" "No, we are not." "Yes, we are." "Don't touch that!" "We're gonna arrest you!" "(SCREAMING)" "That is a Code 3, Chang!" "We are back!" "Whoo!" "JUSTIN:" "Pizza boy, freeze!" "Put the pizzas down, now." "Put the pizzas down!" "Put them down!" "And the sodas!" "And the sodas, too!" "Yeah!" "(ENGINE REVVING)" "(SIREN BLARING)" "You need to test drive it for what?" "For emissions, sir." "Now step outside." "Hey, Chang, hop in." "This one's you, bud." "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "JUSTIN:" "I love that car!" "(JUSTIN WHOOPS)" "How long is he gonna be?" "I don't know." "A couple of hours, I bet." "Officers, thank you so much." "No, thank you so much." "What is...?" "MAN:" "Oh, shit!" "Not again, man!" "(ALL SHOUTING)" "(SIREN BLARING)" "Oh, shit, the cops!" "Go!" "Don't drop that thun thun" "Ay, don't drop that thun thun" "Don't drop that thun thun" "Ay, don't drop that thun thun" "Don't drop that thun thun Don't drop that thun thun" "Don't drop that thun thun Ay, ay" "Don't drop that thun thun Don't drop that thun thun" "Don't drop that thun thun" "Okay, it's the rula Nightmare cougar" "Keep me a Ruger Pop me a poo-putt" "The East is where I grew up So it's what I threw up" "Sicker than a mothafucka Might throw my food up" "Who cooler, no one losers You had good brains" "I ain't even had to school her" "Need me a tutor I just want to do her" "Pass it through the inc And let my bro screw her" "I'm killer and I'll be that way" "I got a large appetite for some pussy and weed" "I said my money is green and my thun thun blue" "And if!" "pop that bitch she gon' pop one too" "Okay, she poppin' too" "Now she's geeked like me" "I said we jerkin' and we stumpin'" "But can't catch the beat" "We can't catch the beat but I'm feelin' my dance" "I had one pill left and it fell out my hand" "Don't drop that thun thun" "Ay, don't drop that thun thun" "Don't drop that thun thun" "Ay, don't drop that thun thun" "Don't drop that thun thun Don't drop that thun thun" "Don't drop that thun thun Ay, ay" "Don't drop that thun thun Don't drop that thun thun" "Don't drop that thun thun Ay, ay" "AH right, oh, my goodness I'm turned up" "I got a bottle You got a cup" "You hit the Dougie I two-step" "You're not with this I am lnC Rep" "Ha, you can make a chick about us" "She know my whole crew She know the song too" "Ratchet boys in this shit like what it do" "Finattic Gang, ho Now who the fuck are you?" "I'm easy I'm never turned down" "Thizz face on Girl this ain't no frown" "Sippin' on lean Somebody's girl goin' down" "Like 3-2-1 Where your girl at now?" "Three pills down That's on me" "And it wouldn't be a song if I didn't say "eeeiii"" "So don't drop that thun thun Girl turn the function up" "And we gon' keep it goin' when the hook come back along" "Don't drop that thun thun" "Ay, don't drop that thun thun" "Don't drop that thun thun" "Ay, don't drop that thun thun" "Don't drop that thun thun Don't drop that thun thun" "Don't drop that thun thun Ay, ay" "Don't drop that thun thun Don't drop that thun thun" "Don't drop that thun thun Ay, ay" "Say if you drop it What?" "Just pick it up What?" "And grab a bad bitch and head to the cut" "What?" "Say if you drop it" "What?" "Just pick it up" "What?" "And grab a bad bitch and head to the cup" "What?" "Say you a freak" "What?" "You're not a freak like me" "What?" "'Cause I'm a F-R-E-A-K Yeah, that's me" "Ha-ha" "Don't drop that thun thun" "Ay, don't drop that thun thun" "Don't drop that thun thun" "Ay, don't drop that thun thun" "Don't drop that thun thun Don't drop that thun thun" "Don't drop that thun thun Ay, ay, ay" "Don't drop that thun thun Don't drop that thun thun" "Don't drop that thun thun Av, av" "(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)"