"Hello, is that Parkers?" "Look, I'm going fishing this weekend and I need some bait" "No, just on the Thames, the maggots will do" "I'll send somebody round to collect them" "Oh by the way, those trout flies I bought from you have been very successful" "Especially the cochy-bondu" "Seems to attract the trout like a magnet" "Yes, thank you again" "Bye" "Excuse me" "You startled me" "Would you mind knocking before you barge in?" "Sorry" "Is that better?" " I've lost it" " Lost what?" "Is that better?" " I've lost it" " Lost what?" "I've lost my favorite fly" "I had it in my hand a moment ago!" "I must have dropped it" "Can you see it anywhere?" "What does it look like?" "It's about two inches long; red and black with a curly tail" "Perhaps it's flown out of the window" "It's a fishing fly!" "A cochy bondu" " A cochy what?" " Bondu" " It must be here somewhere" " If it's here, we'll find it" "Perhaps I should come back later" "Ah Mr. Brown, you can join in" "Well I'm not really that religious" "We're looking for a fly" "A fly?" "Yes!" "It's 2 inches long!" "Red and black with a curly tail" "Sounds quite lethal" " Would you mind helping us look for it" " No, not at all" " I found it" " Where?" "It's here!" "Just under the desk" " I'll get it" " No, stand back Sid!" "Leave this to me" "What are you doing Mr. Brown?" "Stay where you are Miss Courtney!" "It could be dangerous" "Yeah that's right!" "It's not moving!" " Mr. Brown..." " Just a moment" "Better to be safe than sorry" "I've just remembered!" "I've been expecting the boiler" "Have you quite finished Mr. Brown?" "Or would you like to borrow a hammer?" "One can't be too careful where strange insects are concerned" "Have you any idea where it came from?" " Yes!" "W. Parker and Son" " Pardon?" " Fishing tackle suppliers" " Fishing" " It wasn't..." " It was" "Oh dear!" "Got any glue?" "I don't think trout are particularly fond of glue" "No I suppose they're not!" " I'll buy you another" " See that you do" "Excuse me" "Hello..." "Speaking" "Pardon?" "Is it you?" "Is it really you?" "It is you..." "It's him" "Coming here?" "You're not coming here" "You are coming here..." "He's coming here" "Yes, yes, yes..." "Half an hour" "You'll be here in half an hour" "He'll be here in half an hour" "Very well... until then" " Is everything all right?" " It was him" "Yes and he's coming here in half an hour" "But who is him..." "I mean who is he?" "A man I never thought I'd see again" "My ex-fiance" "You mean you were actually engaged at one time?" "There's no need to sound so surprised" "It was over 25 years ago..." "I was just..." "I was very young" "I met him at Oxford in the high!" "It was raining and he offered me shelter under his umbrella" "Then he insisted on buying me a cup of tea and a sticky bun" " How romantic" " Yes, that was how it all started" " Why didn't you get married?" " It was awful!" "He left me" " At the church?" " No, in the lurch" "Mr. Brown, I have never told anyone this before" " Well if you'd rather..." " No, sit down" "For years, I've kept this terrible secret to myself" "Now he's coming back into my life I must tell someone" "And I think I can trust you Mr. Brown" "I'd rather not if it's going to cause any embarrassment" " It won't embarrass me" " It might embarrass me" "I'm sure it won't" "Anyway, he asked me to go down to Brighton with him" "For one of those, you know, weekends" " Double room, Mr. And Mrs. Smith?" " Exactly" " And you refused?" " Oh no, I went" "I even remember the hotel" " The Bellavista, opposite the abatoir" " Very Bellavista" "Well, we booked in and Albert, like the thoughtful man he was" "He let me go upstairs first to prepare myself as it were" "While he had a drink in the bar" " Getting up a bit of dutch courage" " I beg your pardon?" "Not that he needed it with such a lovely person waiting to be" " What happened then?" " He didn't turn up" "He got drunk, passed out and spent the night on a settee in the resident's lounge" "How despicable!" "I went home and refused ever to see him again" "I heard later that he was working in the Far East" "But I must admit" "I have always cherished a secret hope that he might one day come back" " Excuse me please" " Yes Ali, what is it?" "Come quickly please we are having plenty trouble in classroom" " What do you mean, trouble?" " Max and Giovanni" "They are murdering each other" " I'm ready when you are" " I am ready when you are" "You come on" "You're gonna be sorry" "We see whose gonna be sorry" "Okay, I'm waiting for you to come on" "Stop this brawling" "It's lucky for you!" "Professori stop me from giving you a black eye" "I will not have fighting in class" "Fighting!" "It was more like dancing I will not have fighting in class" "Fighting!" "It was more like dancing" " I was just warming up" " Me too" " What was this all about?" " I tell you professori" "He was calling me a wop" "And he's calling me a grease boy" "Go on, sit down everybody" "I wish you could pick up proper English as quickly as you pick up slang" "I have enough trouble with Ali and Ranjeet without you two start falling out" "Now shake hands, come on" "Right!" "Now, tonight I want to concentrate on English conversation" "The sort of things you have to say during the course of the day" "For example Ranjeet" " Where would you take a cheque?" " To Czechoslovakia For example Ranjeet" " Where would you take a cheque?" " To Czechoslovakia" " Not that sort of Czech" " A thousand apologies" "A cheque for a certain amount of money" " Where would you take it?" " To a bank" " Thank you!" "Juan" " Sí, señor" " If you felt ill, what would you do?" " Go to bed" " Before that" " Take the clothes off" " You would go to the doctor's" " No, no, no" "Doctor kill my uncle in Madrid" " Really?" " Sí" "My uncle, he has pain in the chest!" "He goes to see doctor" "Doctor he looks at him and say..." "It's alright" "Ten minutes later, in the street, my uncle... finito" " He got a heart attack?" " Motor car" "You could hardly blame the doctor for that" "Sí, the doctor, he was driving the motor" " Taro" " Ah so" "Although we have news metrics in this country" "We still use an old system which is known as what?" " Sorry not know" " Does anybody know?" "Avoirdupois" " Excellent" " Merci" " Does avoirdupois ring a bell now Taro?" " Yes" "Avoirdupois is French for have you some peaso" "Taro, I can't believe you're that stupid" "Sorry, justjoko" "Well in future, kindly leave your joke's at homo" " Zoltan, I'm gonna ask you a question" " Yes please" " Which shop..." " Yes, shop, shop" "Which shop would you go to to buy a packet of cigarettes?" "Cigarettes" "No shop" "Come on Zoltan!" "You must go to some sort of shop" "Zoltan no smoke" "Excuse!" "Zoltan, where you go for chewing gum?" " Ah, sveet shop" " Sweet, sweet" " Anna tells me sveet" " No, sweet, sweet" "Sveet, sweet!" "What's the difference?" "The difference Anna is that you must learn to say wer, not Ver!" "Wer" "Verwer" "You nearly got it then!" "Try again" "Verwer" "Try saying Verwer without the Ver" "Erwer" "Almost!" "Try again but this time don't say Erwer, just wer" " Wer" " Wer" " Wonderful" " Wonderful" " Wednesday" " Wednesday" " A wet weekend in Winter" " A wet weekend in Winter" " Very good" " Werry good" " Ali" " Yes please" " You have a headache" " No sir" "Assume you have a headache!" "Where would you go to get some aspirin?" "Tanduri takeaway" " No Ali" " Yes please" "My jelly good friend who's working there always have plenty aspirin" "I meant to buy some aspirin" "Why should I be buying them when I can be getting them from my friend for nothing done" "Alright, where do you go for aspirin when the tanduri takeaway is closed?" "Oh Blimey, Taj Mahal curry house" "Jamila, would you please tell Ali where would you go to get aspirin" " Ok, the chemist" " Thank you" " Where are you going now?" " To buy some aspirin for headache" " But you said you don't have a headache" " Oh blimey, I got one now" "Oh go and sit down" "Excuse me Mr. Brown, the old dragon wants you" "Please Sid, do be a little more respectful" "Especially in front of the students Please Sid, do be a little more respectful" "Especially in front of the students" "It's up to us to set a good example" "Sorry" "What does the old dragon..." "Miss Courtney want?" "I've no idea, but I don't think she's very well" "She actually smiled at me" "Enter" " Are you feeling alright?" " Yes, why?" " You sounded as if you were in pain" " I was singing" "I am sorry to bring you away from your class Mr. Brown" "But before you leave this evening, would you mind checking... that Sid's locked up properly" "Absolutely, so should be" "I was referring to the building" "You see, it's quite likely that I may be leaving early" "To think he's come back into my life after 25 years" "I think I might need another cherry to settle my stomach" " What's the matter?" " He's here!" "Look" " Where?" " Down there" "You stupid fool!" "You have crowned my Albert" " How do you feel?" " I feel terrible" "I've got a splitting headache" "I'm sorry!" "It was an accident!" "This is Miss Courtney's office" "Wait, wait!" "Look, have you got somewhere where I could comb my hair?" "And brush myself down" "I must look presentable for our first meeting after twenty five years" " Yes of course!" "It's down there on the right" " Thank you" "Enter" "Hello darling" "Pardon?" "It's you" "Where's Albert?" "You haven't pushed him down the stairs, have you?" "No, no!" "He's just gone to comb his hair" "Is he all right?" "No damage done I hope" " I'm afraid there is" " Oh dear, is it bad?" "The plantpot's broken" "I was referring to Albert" "Oh Albert, he's fine" "I'll get it" "Darling!" "Oh it's you" "This is darling..." "Miss Courtney" " Albert" " Dolores" "Dolores?" "Haven't you a class to attend to?" "Yes of course darling..." "Dolores..." "Excuse me Haven't you a class to attend to?" "Yes of course darling..." "Dolores..." "Excuse me" "I've dropped a two p." "It must have rolled away somewhere" "I'm glad to see you're all working hard" "What are you studying Ingrid?" ""How to improve your bust line"!" "Very educational" " You can borrow it if you wish it" " No thank you" "What's keeping you occupied Juan?" ""Gals Galore"" "There's not much English in this" "No, but some beautiful pictures" "Zoltan" ""Gorgeous Chicks"" "I'm sure this isn't about poultry farming" " But..." " Nevermind" "Anna! "True Romances"" "Max, "Football Review"" "Danielle, "Toujours L'Amour"" "Don't the French ever think about anything else other than love?" "To the French, there's is nothing else" "Giovanni, "L'Amore"" "In Italy, we're just like the French" "Ranjeet, "Cartoon Capers"" "I am reading all about Bugs the Bunny and Woody the pecker" "Ali, "The World's Most Exotic Dishes"" "I didn't know you were interested in cookery" "Oh Blimey, when I am buying it I didn't know it was about cookery!" "Jamila" ""Knitting made easy"" "Taro, "The confessions of a Geisha girl"" "You can all learn English much more quickly" "If you began by reading a better class of litterature" "As you're obviously so keen to learn English" "I'll give you extra homework tonight" "Quiet!" "It's time you took these lessons seriously" "Now before we break for tea, I'm going to ask you each a question" "And anyone who gives an incorrect answer will be fined 10 p." "The money will go to charity" "Who's this bird charity you're giving our money to?" "Charity is not a bird" "It means an organization..." "a deserving cause" " Juan, spell "quiet"" " Por favore" " Quiet!" " Ah quiet" "No spell "quiet"" " How much we pay if we're wrong?" " 10 p." "Ingrid, give me an example of a preposition" "Will you to dinner take me?" "I said a preposition not a proposition" "A preposition shows the relation between a noun or pronoun" "And some other word" "A gift from Mary, a house for sale" " A date with teacher" " Yes all right!" "I'll accept that" " Good, tonight we go" " I meant I'll accept your answer" "Ranjeet, how do you pronounce the following?" "B O U G H, C O U G H, T O U G H" "You are trying to be catching me out" " B O U G H" " Buff" " T O U G H" " Toff" " C O U G H" " Cow" "Three out of three wrong" "Thousand apologies" "Giovanni, what is meant by vice versa?" "On second thoughts, I won't ask you that" " What is a diphtong?" " Is it like a dipstick?" "What do you think?" "I think I owe you ten p." "Ali what does the term coup de grace mean?" "And don't you dare say cutting the lawn" "I'm never hearing of it" "It means the final stroke!" "It's French" "Oh blimey, I am having enough worries learning the English" "It's a phrase that's in common usage" "Ten p." "Please" "Thank you" " Taro" " Ah so" "Decline the verb to jump" "I jumpo, you jumpo" "He jumpso, she jumpso" "We jumpo, they jumpo" "Very good Taro" "But you must try not to end every word on O" " Ok?" " Oko" "Jamila, as oil is to water so chalk is to..." "Blackyboard" "Cheese!" "10 p." "Please" " I am not understanding" " It's a fairly common phrase" "They are as alike as chalk and cheese" " I am not understanding" " It's a fairly common phrase" "They are as alike as chalk and cheese" "But chalk and cheese are not being alike" "Exactly, so it means they are not alike" "I'm thinking it is easier to say they are not alike" "Than to be talking about chalks and cheeses I'm thinking it is easier to say they are not alike" "Than to be talking about chalks and cheeses" "Yes I admit we do tend to complicate our language" "Max, give me an example of a principal clause" "Santa Claus" "Quiet" "Just for that Max you can write out 20 times" "A clause is as sentence which is part of a longer sentence" "Hockay" "Not now, in your own time" "And you can give me 10 p." "Thank you" "Danielle, as handsome as a Prince!" "As ugly as?" "A Swede" "As ugly as sin" " 10 p." " It was worth it" "Anna give me two different meanings of the word blow" "You can blow like so" "Or you can give somebody a blow" "Thank you Anna" " Zoltan" " Yes please" "Can you give me the past tense of the verb to see" " See, saw" " Ah, seesaw" "No Zoltan" "Today I see, yesterday I saw" "It's not really fair to take one from you" "Alright then" "80 p." "In 3 minutes" "At this rate, we'll soon have a small fortune" " Another cup of tea, Albert?" " No thank you Dolores" " A glass of cherry perhaps?" " No, I don't drink now!" "I've given it up" " It's a very bad habit" " You're so right" "I only keep it for visitors" "Oh dear" "Come on Dolores!" "Think of something a little more sparkling" " I wonder..." " Yes" " Will you..." " Oh I will" "Pour me another cup of tea" " Tea?" " Yes please" " You said you didn't want any more" " I've changed my mind" "As a matter of fact, there is something else I'm going to ask you" "Yes" "I know it might seem silly after all this time and not writing and everything" " But I never forgot you Dolores" " Yes" "I couldn't believe my good fortune tonight when I discovered you hadn't married" "I never married either" " Didn't you?" " No" " Would it be too much to expect..." " No" " I mean would you consider..." " Yes" " I mean will you marry me?" " This is so sudden" " Oh Albert, my cup is overflowing" " So is mine" "Oh dear, I'm so sorry" "It doesn't matter!" " Well what do you say?" "Will you marry me?" " Yes please" "I'll get a special license!" "We can be married next week" "So soon?" "We've already wasted 25 years!" "We don't wanna waste any more time" " Wait" " What's the matter?" "We can't!" "We'll have to wait" "My money's still tied up abroad" "It'll take several weeks to transfer it over here..." "I've got enough money" "Dolores, I couldn't let you pay for the wedding and honeymoon and everything" " What's mine is yours" " No, it wouldn't be right" "Nonsense, don't be so proud" "I'll tell you what I'll do" "I'll use your money on the strict understanding" "That I pay you back when mine comes through" " Very well, if you insist" " I most definitely do That I pay you back when mine comes through" " Very well, if you insist" " I most definitely do" "Oh Albert, I'm so excited" "So am I" "Just a moment, I..." "I have a little engagement!" "I've got to meet a fellow down the road" "A little business!" "Lt'll only take a few minutes" "Then I should come back and take you to dinner somewhere... just the two of us" "That would be lovely" " Don't go away" " Never" "Mind where you're going" " Albert?" " Is everything alright Sid?" "Is everything alright?" "I've just seen a fellow I haven't seen for years!" "Albert Collins" "Albert!" "Miss Courtney's boyfriend" " Never" " It's true" "He's a crook, a con man" "You must be mistaken!" "He's just come back from the Far East" "He's been away for over 20 years" "He's been away all right, doing porridge" "He's been in prison?" "He was in the nick with my brother-in-law" "He's in and out of there like a fiddlers elbow" "Do you know what his specialty is?" "Finding lonely women, asking them to marry him" "Taking their life savings and scampering Finding lonely women, asking them to marry him" "Taking their life savings and scampering" "I'm getting married in the morning" "Enter" "Ah Miss Courtney, I've got some rather disturbing news" "Nothing you could say to me today would disturb Mr. Brown" " I think this might!" "It's about Albert" " Ah Albert, my future husband" "I've just been speaking to Sid and..." "Husband?" "Yes, we're getting married by special license" "Oh no" "Now Mr. Brown, I know you were fond of me" "But you mustn't take it too hard" "Has he tried to borrow any money from you?" "I fail to see what business that is of yours" "He has..." "I hate to have to tell you this Miss Courtney" "But your future husband is a crook" " Don't be so impertinent" " It's true I'm afraid" "He's a con man!" "He specializes in proposing to lonely women and taking their money" "Nonsense!" "I don't believe it" "Ask Sid, his brother-in-law was in prison with him" " Prison?" "Are you sure?" " I'm afraid so" " Perhaps he's reformed" " You don't really believe that, do you?" "No, I thought it was too good to be true" "He's coming back to take me out to dinner" " What shall I do?" " Don't worry Miss Courtney He's coming back to take me out to dinner" " What shall I do?" " Don't worry Miss Courtney" "I'll deal with him" "Leave everything to me" "I've got a message for you from Miss Courtney" " Oh yes" " Push off" "What?" "We know all about your little games" "So I'd advise you to get lost quick, before I throw you out" " You and whose army?" " Me and this army" "Yeah, well... perhaps I had better be going" "All right Miss Courtney, he's gone" "Oh thank you Mr. Brown"