"There he is." "Get him!" "Get him!" "Welcome to the gala debut of our Central Park" "Zoological Menagerie." "We celebrate the splendiferous occasion of today and look forward to the grand possibilities of tomorrow with the burial of this centennial time capsule!" "One hundred years from this day, the children of our children..." "Sorry, squirrel." "End of the line." "Now, where's the key?" "Right here." "See for yourself." "No, don't look into the eyes!" "The key, get the key." "Not today." "And not for a hundred years." "Ha ha!" "You won't crack that lock, you villainous rodents." "Talley-ho!" "And now, one hundred years after it was buried with pomp and pageantry, all eyes are on the unearthing of the zoo's centennial time capsule." "What wonder will we find within?" "This is Chuck Charles, live on the scene." "We've got company, Skipper." "The rats are removing something from the zoo time capsule." "Appears to be some sort of key." "And they're getting away." "Oh no they're not." "Private and I are on our the way over, over." "The stories were true!" "And now the lost treasure of the Golden Squirrel will finally belong to the rats!" "Totally." "And this key is the key to us finding it." "Which makes it a key, like, both in the literal and metaphorical sense." "How deep is that!" "?" "Whatever that key is, you don't get it." "Literally or metaphorically." "Ha!" "No way, he took the key!" "Get him!" "Literally?" "Just get the key." "Whoa-oh-ho!" "Wha!" "Ah!" " Na na-na." " Huh, ugh, whoa!" "Ha all right all right" "Maurice, read to me the latest balance from the fort of the royal treasury." "A buck 40 in change, two subway tokens, one bottle cap..." "The king must have enough wealth and treasure to keep him 100 percent out of touch to the needs of his common subjects." "Like me!" "Like me!" "Whoa, whoa!" "Whoa, Skipper!" "Hang tight, Private." "Yes!" "Awesome!" "Check me out." "The key to the squirrel's swag is totally..." "Oof!" "Looks like we're all out of wealth and treasure." "Unless something just happens to drop out of the sky and..." "Ooh!" "Now what could this possibly..." "Get 'em!" "But Skipper, shouldn't we return this key to the zoo time capsule?" "Of course we should." "But do you have any idea what this key could mean?" "Tell 'em, Kowalski." "The promise of mystery, adventure, hidden clues, action set pieces, red herrings, diabolical double-crosses and a thrilling climax that ultimately bashes us all over the head with a lesson about the importance of non-material possessions." "Exactly." "Who could say no to a good old fashioned treasure hunt?" "Excuse me a little bit." "I think I heard "treasure" in and amongst those words." "Since I touched that key for a full 26 seconds, I'm entitled to half of it." "Kowalski, accounting analysis." "Uh, 26 seconds of nine tenths of the law equals 50 percent share?" "Well, I question his motives, but his math is impeccable." "Fine, ring tail." "But if you get in my way on this road to high adventure, I'm running you over." "Bushy tail?" "Are you home?" "We need squirrel intel." "Ordinarily, when I think intelligence, I would not think Fred." "Guys, guys?" "Shh!" "My granny's up in the tree, trying to take a nap." "So let's all talk like this." "Sorry, Fred." "This should just take a second." "We need you to take a look at this squirrel artefact." "Hmm." "Okay, then." "Later, guys." "Fred!" "The key, what about..." "Shh!" "The key." "Hmm, what about it?" "Well, we were hoping you could tell us something about it?" "Oh, tell you something about it." "You said just look at it." "Tell you something about it, hmm, yeah, that's harder." "Wait." "What was it you said you heard the rats say?" "The hidden..." "Something?" "Of the glorious something, with the treasure on top?" "No, no, no." "It was the, uh, the missing..." "No, that's not it." "The enchanted..." "The lost treasure of the Golden Squirrel." "Ahh!" "Yes!" "Lost treasure!" "Eh, this is real treasure, right?" "Not one of those "friendship is the greatest treasure of all"" "deals?" "Because you can't trade friendship for, you know, the goods and the services." "Hidden clues will guide you." "Now that the key has been exposed, you must find the treasure and destroy it!" "There, you see?" "We must use the key to find the treasure and..." "Wait." "Did you say, "Destroy the treasure?"" "Not, "Spend it all as fast as possible?"" "You must follow me." "There isn't much time." "Ho-o-old on." "Why would we go through all the trouble of finding that treasure if we're just gonna destroy it?" "That does seem illogical." "If the treasure is so dangerous, why not just leave it hidden?" "Because!" "There are those with greed in their souls who will stop at nothing until they have the treasure." "treasure." "The rats!" "Of course." "Imagine what the rats would do if they ever got control of that much wealth and power." "I've tried, but I can't." "Too busy imagining what I would do." "Right, it's your basic race for the hidden treasure scenario." "But how, Skipper?" "How do we even know where to begin looking?" "Behold." "The key." "Er..." "Er..." "Fred, your granny is brilliant." "She sure is." "How is it that she knows so much about the treasure?" "Oh, wait, you mean her." "Because that's not my granny." "What do you mean, that's not your granny?" "I told you, my granny's back at the tree taking a nap." "Fred?" "She hugged you." "Well yeah, I mean, that did strike me as a bit odd." "But hey, what am I gonna do, say no to a hug?" "I love hugs." "Here." "Here it is." "In the zoo." "Marlene's place." "Marlene's place." "Eh." "Ah." "Boss, did you hear that?" "They're going after the first clue to the treasure." "Awesome." "Less work for us." "If you have to work to get treasure, that's just like a job, you know?" "Okay, careful." "Watch out, that'd deli..." "Hey!" "Who didn't wipe their feet?" "Hmm?" "I'm sorry." "What was it exactly that you were looking for?" "You know, here, here in my house?" "My head makes thumps!" "Could be anything, Marlene." "Trap door, recessed antechamber." "Rico!" "Solve this mystery." "Okay, enough." "This is my home, I know every inch of this place." "And there are no trap doors." "There are no recessed antechambers." "No..." "Hidden staircases?" "Okay." "I'm a-okay..." "Ugh!" "I calculate that I am about halfway do..." "Wow, this actually adds a lot of square footage to my place." "Fred, can you take a look at these mysterious squirrel carvings?" "Not a problem." "When I say, "look at them,"" "Fred, I mean, "can you read them?"" "Oh, read them." "Well, sure I can, but you know, that's harder." "Skipper, it looks like this section of the tunnel was part of the city's original sewer system." "I could convert this into a killer game room, you know, get some light in here, foosball, maybe air hockey." "Hey, guys?" "It says, "Ahead lies the path to the treasure of the Golden" "Squirrel and certain riches. "" "Marlene!" "Oh, and guys?" "This part says something about traps?" "Yeah, deadly traps, maybe I should have read that part first, huh?" "Ah!" "Ah!" "Skipper, look, there it is." "That must be the clue." "That must be the clue." "Ooh ooh ooh!" "A mysterious ancient map." "It's classic." "Well then, what is it that we are waiting for?" "Not so fast, ring tail." "This whole place is no doubtedly booby trapped." "Of course!" "Do you really think that I would be so careless as to just fling myself after the map?" "Ha ha." "Mort!" "Deal with the booby traps." "Booby sounds fun!" "Mort, no!" "Ah hai ya!" "Can I do it again?" "There, was that so hard?" "Ah!" "Follow me." "Follow me." "We'll take that map." "And the key!" "Oh, mine!" "Eh..." "Ahh!" "Ha ha." "Hey, hey, hey!" "Move it." "Marlene!" "We had better get out of here." "here." "We're trapped!" "This whole place is gonna collapse!" "Kowalski, how long?" "I would estimate total structural failure at approximately..." "Right now." "Go!" "Uh, you mean down the big tube shooting fire?" "Thank you but no thank you." "If we time it between the merciless blasts of broiling flame..." "There's a miniscule chance of survival." "On my mark." "Now." "Now." "Ah!" "Ah!" "Oh hey, guys." "Um, the rats have a message for you." "Something about meeting them in Chinatown in an hour with the key and that if you ever wanna see your friend again, you know what that's all about?" "Hey, what happened to the otter?" "Meter's running." "Hmm..." "Ah!" "Uh, Skipper?" "Fred, what can you make of these?" "Hmm, let's see, now." "This part says..." ""Only the pure of heart will have the strength to see the truth. "" "Pure of heart, eh?" "Well that's classic, bordering on cliché." "But how will we know which of us is pure of heart?" "You must risk looking into the eyes of the squirrel." "Ah!" "She's back." "They know of your deepest secrets." "Your greediest desires." "Your greediest desires." "You must be strong enough to resist them, or you will be consumed by your own greed." "This is the curse of the treasure." "Fine, we get it, the treasure's cursed." "Are we done with the jib-jab?" "Let's get on the road to high adventure." "Curse or no, we still need to trade this key to get back our friend." "So I'll just hold this and look into..." "The eyes of the squirrel, they know of your deepest secrets." "Where am I?" "How did I get...?" "Greetings, Maurice." "We are here to serve you." "Heh." "Oh yeah!" "My deepest desire." "Oh, I could get used to this." "Maurice." "Maurice!" "Quit daydreaming and give me the key already." "But if we give them this, we won't be able to get the treasure." "Finally." "You see?" "This is exactly what I have been saying." "We don't have time to argue with you lemurs." "Kowalski." "Coming right up, Skipp..." "Oh, oh boy." "That's strange." "I'm obviously under the hypnotic influence of some sort of..." "Oh!" "Is that!" "?" "An upgraded cerebellum of my own design?" "Oh!" "Perfect fit!" "Kowalski!" "Kowalski!" "Hand over that key!" "That's an order." "No!" "I..." "I think we need to weigh our other options." "In that case, you leave me no choice." "Rico, take Kowalski into custody." "Schedule a court martial for..." "Rico." "Blah!" "Ah!" "Ah, ah, robot!" "Ah, ah, ah!" "Ah, ah, ah..." "Mine!" "But guys, we already voted to trade the treasure to save" "Marlene." "That wasn't so much a vote as a poll, if you will." "Yeah, things change." "Forget Marlene." "I'm sorry, Skipper, but I have seen myself with a 4,000 pound cerebral cortex and I am beautiful!" "Not so fast, brainiac." "I need that treasure for my army of Julien manservants." "Yes, you see?" "Maurice needs the treasure for his..." "Wait, go back a little bit?" "Ah ah ahah ah ah!" "Skipper, we have to do something." "Relax, Private, this is just the part of the adventure where we start to turn on each other." "No use fighting it." "Just sit back and enjoy the ride." "It's the curse!" "Lady, again?" "Weren't you just here?" "Their greed is changing them." "The treasure must be destroyed." "It's the only way." "Hey, I told you, I don't even know this lady." "Well, how did she do the thing with the wind and all that thunder stuff?" "I don't know." "She gives good hugs, though." "This key is going to the rats." "Yes it is." "And since I already have the map and your friend..." "Oof!" "I guess that means I'll take it all." "That figures." "Oof!" "Skipper, move it." "We have to give chase to the rats who are absconding with my booty!" "Not my booty booty, my treasure booty!" "booty!" "Let's see." "Not this one." "Not that one." "Ah!" "Ah..." "You guys seem to think that this treasure is gonna be the answer to all your..." "That this treasure's gonna be the answer..." "Oh, vaulted ceilings, spacious design, I love what I've done with the place!" "with the place!" "Eh, huh?" "Eh, huh?" "Hey, wait!" "She found it, get her!" "Boys, look, it's the treasure." "Look how much of it there is." "Awesome." "Awesome." "I don't have a better word than awesome." "So I'm just gonna say awesome again." "But this time, louder." "Awesome!" "Awesome!" "Marlene!" "You!" "But how did you find us?" "We took the map." "Yes, you did." "Fortunately, we have a photographic memory." "We do?" "Well, technically, no." "But we do have a photographic camera." "Which is almost as convenient." "Plus it corrects for red eye." "Plus it corrects for red eye." "Quick, get more gold than the rats." "We can beat them." "No, you must dare to look into the eyes of the squirrel." "Into your deepest des..." "He who is pure of heart will see the truth." "Will someone give me one good reason why we keep listening to this raving banshee?" "Fine, give me that thing." "But Skipper, what about the curse?" "Don't worry, Private." "Money can't buy honour." "Or courage." "Character." "I'm immune to..." "Ahh." "Ha ha ha ha ha!" "I'll take five of these and three of that one." "No, the big one." "The really big one." "The really big one." "Come on, get some!" "Whoo!" "Oh dear." "Well that didn't work out so well." "I guess I'd better have a go." "Baby ducklings, they're so cute." "And they're all mine." "No way, Private." "We need those funds for the defence budget." "No!" "It's mine, you can never have enough Spanish guitars." "Ducklings!" "Tanks!" "Ah!" "Whoa!" "This must be my greed fantasy, now." "I can hardly wait to see the depths of my own depravity." "This is gonna be good, y'all." "Oh yeah, here we go." "It's..." "It's my kingdom and..." "Hi!" "Maurice?" "And Mort?" "You, do you see the truth?" "I see that I have been ripped off." "Hello?" "Thought we were supposed to be seeing our greatest desires, here." "Not just..." "Unless..." "Unless..." "I already h..." "Do you see the truth?" "Just shut up, squirrel lady." "Trying to have a meaningful epiphany moment over here." "Unless..." "I already have my greatest desire." "Ahh!" "I get it!" "I see the truth." "I see the truth." "Huh!" "?" "The only way to win is to get rid of all of it." "It will sink their side of the platform, too." "That went well, yes." "Huh?" "Oof!" "Ahh!" "This is not awesome!" "This is not awesome!" "Ahh...!" "Where's the love?" "Ow!" "Yeah!" "So it turns out that I am the one who is pure of heart." "Ha, me!" "Yes, me!" "M to the E, me." "I guess we can chock that up as the surprise ending." "You call that an ending?" "A proper ending is supposed to be emotionally satisfying." "Yeah, well I'm just satisfied that it's over." "Ugh, and how." "Yeah." "Gah, if I never hear another word about treasures or clues, or, huh?" "No time to explain." "This is the legendary feather of the Crystal Falcon." "Guard it with your life." "Huh!" "Kowalski, analysis." "High probability of globetrotting escapades, ruthless villains and ancient riches, all tied up nicely by the heartfelt realization that we had what we were looking for inside us all along." "Ooh, I'm in." "Who can say no to a mystical quest?" "Private, I'll need you to..." "Private?" "Hey, wait." "Hey, where you going?" "This isn't the ending anymore." "Come on, it's the beginning now."