"Have you done this sort of thing before?" "Me?" "Of course." "I've been looting and pillaging up and down the coast." " Looting and pillaging, eh?" " Yes." " What about the raping?" " Shut up." "Well, it's obvious you haven't raped anyone in your life." " Do you like women?" " What?" " Of course I like women." "I love 'em." " You don't love me." "Well, no, I don't." "Mind you, I'm not saying I couldn't get to like you." "As a matter of fact I actually prefer it if there's some sort of mutual feeling between two people..." " What?" "Rape?" " No." "Obviously then it wouldn't be rape then, would it?" "Get it over with." "I don't suppose that you..." "No... no." " What?" " I don't suppose that... you..." " You do like me at all?" " What d'you expect?" "You come in here, burn my village, kill my family, and try to rape me." " You don't like it, do you?" " Well I just think it's a little bit crude, that's all." "What about all the killing and looting?" "That's just as crude, isn't it?" " Well, you have to do them." " Why?" "Why do you have to go around killing and looting all the time?" " To pay for the next expedition, of course." " But that's a circular argument!" "If the only reason for the expedition is the killing and looting and the only reason for the killing and looting is to pay for the next expedition, they cancel each other out." " Stop talking as if we were married!" " Well you started it." " I just said I didn't feel like raping you." " And I was just saying that rape is no more pointless or crude than all the killing and looting." "Scream." "Louder." "Aaagh!" " Rape!" " Oh, thanks." " Rape?" " Where?" "He raped me standing up." " You finished, then?" " I suppose so..." "Right!" "Leave her alone!" "No!" "Thanks for saving me from a fate worse than death." " I didn't mean to!" " Oh, that's all right then..." "It's the thought that counts." "You told them I raped you, why?" "I don't know... you looked so..." "vulnerable." " Why should you care?" " Why... should you care?" "Tell me your name?" "Tell me, what is it?" "ERIK THE VIKING" "Subtitle:" "Completely fixed: titler" "If you ever thought of converting my dear, now would be an ideal opportunity." " Not now!" " No, of course not..." " But, er, you might not get another chance." " Go away!" "Right." "I'll pray for you my dear." "Yes..." "That's what I'll do, dear." "I'll pray for you." "Let her go!" " Why?" " Why should we let her go?" "We haven't hit a single braid yet!" " He hit my wife!" " That showed her." "What's the matter?" "We're missing the fun. huh?" " What's it all about, grandpa?" " What?" "We toil and labour, we loot and pillage," " we rape and kill, and yet..." " Why're you talking this piffle, son?" "Where does it all get us, Grandpa?" "Who you've been talking to?" " I met this girl..." " Women." "It's always the women who causes all the trouble." "She got me thinking..." "So?" "What'd you do to her?" "I killed her." "That's my boy!" "Freya!" "Freya!" "Freya!" "Freya." "Erik the Viking." "What can you want with me, Erik the Viking?" "I'm sorry." "I shouldn't have come." "Afraid they will make fun of you for listening to an old woman's stories?" "Young men only interested in fighting and killing." "Yes but has it always been like that?" "Since the beginning of time?" " What do you see, Erik?" " I see... the world." "Is it night or day, Erik?" " It is day, of course, Freya." " Is it winter or summer, Erik?" "The winter has passed." "It is... summer." "Have you ever seen the sun, Erik?" "No, it's up beyond the clouds where it always is." "But have you ever seen it, Erik?" "Of course not." "Think back." "I remember once as a child a dream." "It was as if the whole sky were... blue..." "It was blue, Erik once." "The Old Stories tell of an age that would come such as this... when Fenrir the Wolf would swallow the sun, and a Great Winter would settle on the world." "It was to be an axe age, a sword age, a storm age, when brother would turn against brother, and men would fight each other until the world was finally destroyed." "Then this is the Age of Ragnarok?" "Wait, Freya!" "Is there nothing men can do?" "The Gods are asleep, Erik." "I will go and wake them up then!" "Tell me what I must do!" "Erik..." "Far out in the midst of the Western Ocean there is a land, men call it Hy-Brasil." "There you will find a horn... this horn is called Resounding." "You must take the Horn Resounding and three times you must blow it." "The first note will take you to Asgaard." "The second note will awaken the Gods." "And the third note will bring you home." "But remember, Erik... once you are in the spell of the Horn, hatred will destroy you." "Will the dead ever return, Freya?" "That I cannot tell you." "Oh, come on, Erik!" "Erik, what are you doing?" "Thorfinn just said that Sven's grandfather died of old age." " He must fight to the death." " That's right!" "Sven must kill me." "Aren't you afraid of death, Thorfinn Skull-Splitter?" "Not death by the sword!" "It means I shall drink in Valhalla, with the great warriors." "You don't believe in this Valhalla nonsense, do you?" " Go away." " Right." "Fine." "Just checking." "And you, Sven, aren't you afraid of crossing the Rainbow Bridge to Asgaard?" " I will join my grandfather there." " He's not in Valhalla!" " He died of old age!" " You liar!" "Stop it!" "Stop it!" "There's only one way to settle it." " He must kill me!" " Ya!" " There is another way." " Who gets killed?" " Nobody gets killed." " Oh, well..." "It'll be dangerous." "Maybe none of us will return." "Ah well, that's much more sensible than just Thorfinn getting killed." " Shall we all go and pack now?" " What are you talking about, Erik?" "What if we could find Bi-Frost the Rainbow Bridge?" " Find the Rainbow Bridge?" " Find it, and cross it!" "Look!" "You can't find somewhere that doesn't exist." " Shut up!" " Right." "Only the dead reach Asgaard, Erik." "What's the matter?" "Are you afraid to try?" "Of course we're not afraid to try, but..." " But what?" " But, what?" "Nobody's ever crossed the Rainbow Bridge to Asgaard." " We'd be the first!" " You mean we'd be dead?" "No!" "We'd be the first living men to set foot in the Halls of the Gods." "But how?" "I don't know." "But I'm not afraid to try." " Well, I'm not afraid of anything." " Neither am I." "Then you'll come?" "Wish you were going too?" "Don't." "Too busy." "Ooh, that's a good one!" "You could charge Halfdan fifteen for that one." "Yes, it is good, isn't?" "But I told him ten, Loki." "You could charge him what you like." "You just can't make enough swords and spears and knives and daggers to satisfy the demand." " You could charge Halfdan twenty for that and he'd pay it." " Oh!" "I couldn't do that!" "The Blacksmith's Code says that..." "Yes, yes... of course..." "the "Blacksmith's Code"..." "If this is the Age of Ragnarok, Keitel Blacksmith, it is good to us." "Can't make enough swords!" "Can't make enough axe-heads!" "But, Keitel... if Erik ever finds the Horn Resounding, if he ever crosses Bi-Frost, the Rainbow Bridge, if he ever wakens the gods..." " They chase Fenrir the Wolf from the sky..." " The Age of Ragnarok ends and..." "The bottom falls out of the sword business!" "It's not just your livelihood at stake but your son's, and well, the livelihood of all blacksmiths." " My brothers blacksmiths." " That's right." "And the Blacksmith's code says that we must honor and protect all Blacksmith's." "Together we stand!" "You just can't let Erik do that." " Got both axes?" " Yes, mother." " And something to sharpen them with?" " Yes, mum." "And don't forget:" "Never let your enemy get behind you." " No, mother." " And keep your sword greased." "Yes, mother." " Goodbye, dad." " Don't forget to wash," " you know... all over!" " No, Dad." "And if you have to kill somebody, kill them!" "Don't stop to think about it." "I never do." " It's a tradition." " I know, Dad." "Yout told me..." "I was a Berserk for King Harald Fairhair..." " You went berserk..." " I went berserk, in every battle I ever fought for King Harald..." " So did your father..." " So did my father..." " and his father before him." " But it's a responsibility..." "But it's a responsibility," " being a Berserk." " I must only let the red rage..." "You must only let the red rage take hold of you in the thick of battle." "I know!" "I've heard it all a thousand times!" "No, no, no..." "you'll never make a Berserk." "If you let it out now, you'll have nothing left for battle." "Besides, it's dangerous." "It's the end of a family tradition." " Sorry." " Yah, well..." " You will wait?" " What you'd expect me to do?" "Take this for luck." "That's what they call me:" "Leif the Lucky." "Please." "You coming?" "You don't even believe in Asgaard." "No." "But I do hope to do a little business on the way." "You're wasting your time." "Listen..." "I have been in this dump for 16 years and I have not made a single convert in all that time." "There was Thorbjorn Vifilsson's wife." "You converted her." "Thorbjorn Vifilsson's wife became a Buddhist, not a Christian." "Same thing, isn't it?" "No, it is not." "Well... we'll be off now..." "Say something a little more than that!" "Oh... er... right... um..." "Mum..." "Don't be sad." "You all know why we're going... so... don't grieve." "Maybe untold dangers do lie ahead of us, and some of you may well be looking at the one's you love for the last time." "But don't grieve!" "You see, even if the Hordes of Muspel tear us limb from limb or the Fire Giants burn each and every one of us to a cinder... even if we're swallowed by the Dragon of the North Sea or" "fall off the Edge of the World..." "don't cry." "No!" "No!" "Don't cry..." "It's all fantasy, there's no Edge of the World, there's no Dragon of the North Sea." "That's what you say." " What's the matter with them?" " Say something cheerful." "Cheerful..." "Right." "Right." "Um..." "Well... cheers everybody!" "Don't go!" "My son!" "I don't want you to go!" " I don't want me to go, either." " Oh gods!" "Please, everybody!" "Keep calm!" "Listen, it's not certain all of us are going to die... and in any case we may not die hideous deaths..." " We'd best be going." " Right." "Farewell, and for the last time may the gods..." "Don't say anything else." "Wait, Erik!" "You can't go without me." "Who will sharpen your swords and mend your shields?" " Oh no!" " Not him too!" "What's the matter now?" "If Keitel Blacksmith goes with you... we'll have no one to do the things he did for us." "Or sharpen our knives and mend our pans." "Well you have Loki, Keitel's assistant to do all that." "Loki?" "What's the matter with Loki?" "He's become quite good at blacksmithing." " Well, yes... but..." " He's so small and..." "Oh, yes... we've got Loki." "That's true." "Hey, you two!" "What's going on?" " I was sitting there." " No, you weren't!" "Leifs sitting here." "I need a bit of luck." " Look, I bagged it last week." " It doesn't matter where you sit!" "Yes it does!" "We could be at sea for months." "Well, what difference does it make where you're sitting?" "I don't want to have to sit next to Snorri all that time." "Thank you very much indeed." " Stop it!" " So nice if you're wanted." "Sven, sit back there." "Leif, you better sit here." "And Harald sit here." " Trust me to get the missionary." " What are you doing here?" "You might need a real Berserk." " I am one, Dad!" " We haven't got a spare place." "He can have my place." "I don't really want to go anyway." " Stay where you are!" " He could have Bjorn's place." " Bjorn's not coming." " What's the matter with Bjorn?" "Halfdan the Black chopped off both his hands last night." " He was lucky." " Well... sit there." "You can't have Sven's dad sitting next to Sven, they'll argue the whole time." "That's true." "Sven, sit behind Thorfinn." "And you sit there, and you sit there, and you sit there." "Now you've got all the big ones on one side." "All right." "Um..." "Thangbrand sit where Ornulf is." "Ornulf sit where Ulf is." "Ulf sit where Thangbrand was." "Ragnar sit behind Thorfinn." "Thorfinn stay where you are." " I wanted to sit next to Leif." " Shut up." "Sven switch with Snorri." "Snorri sit behind Sven." "Keitel sit here, Harald there, Leif there, Bjarni there." "Now you've got all the ones with beards on one side and all the moustaches on the other." " That doesn't matter." " Erik!" "Wait!" "Here, son." "Your father always made sure he could rest his head at night." "I can't take that on a voyage." "It was your father's!" "It was the pillow he took with him." "He said it once saved his life." "Please!" "Thanks, Mum." "Row!" "Row!" "What's your business?" "I wish to speak to Halfdan The Black." " He's too busy." " I have money." "See." "Come along, Hecate." "Look, I'm not an unreasonable man, Thord Andersson, but this is the second chance" " that I've given you." " But I'm a poor man, Sir." "Yes, but it's not just me, you see." "A lot of people depend on this money." "I really can't give you a third chance, I'm so sorry." " Would you please behead him, please?" " Oh no!" "Take all my sheep, all of them." "Oh, that's a good idea." "Take all his sheep." "If only they'd think ahead." "I really wish they would." "Ah the blacksmith's assistant from Ravenfjord." " Garrotte him, would you please." " Oh, no." "My Lord, Halfdan the Black." "You've brought me more swords?" "I bring more than swords." "I bring a warning from my master." " A warning?" " No!" " Flay them both alive would you?" " No, it's a mistake." "Erik and the men of Ravensfjord are setting off to cross" " the Western Ocean." " Lucky things!" "I could do with a holiday, I can tell you." "All this financial work, you know..." "The stress really gets you." "Flay him alive, garrotte him and then behead him." "No, I'm not Hildir Eysteinsson!" "I'm Hjalti Skeggjason!" " You've got the wrong man." " Shh..." "They seek to drive Fenrir the Wolf from the sky to waken the Gods and to bring the Age of Ragnarok to an end." " End Ragnarok?" " Who do they think they are?" " Er, just cut his hand off." " Oh, thank you my lord." "Thank you, a million thanks yous." "You can cut them both off if you want." "Thank you very much." "So why should you tell me all this?" "Because, my lord, my livelihood, depends on Ragnarok." "Like yours." "And of course if anything should happen to your master you would become blacksmith of Ravensfjord." "Have a good look." "That's the last we shall see of old Norway." "Goodbye home..." "goodbye loved ones..." " goodbye lunch..." " Oh!" "Shut up." "You know, my son, our lord said..." " Your lord." " Quite... my lord said:" "The Prayer of Faith shall save the sick." "I hope the Dragon of North Sea gets you and your lord." "Darkness and ignorance." "Darkness and ignorance." "You all right?" "No, I'm not." "You don't need to feel bad about being sea-sick, you know." "How can you help feeling bad when you're sea-sick?" " I mean, many of the greatest sailors were pukers." " I know." "I know." "Olaf Tryggvason used to throw up on every single voyage." "The whole time." "Non-stop." "Puke... puke... puke." "Look!" "I don't feel bad about it." "I just feel ill." " He used to puke in his sleep." " Oh, bastard." "Thorfinn." " No, no." "Put it away." "Break out the oars." " What are you talking about?" " Break out the oars!" "Come on, move it!" " We've only just started cooking supper." " It's Halfdan the Black!" " I know." "Snorre, get your oar out." "Do you suppose he wants to stop us waking the Gods?" " What do you think?" " How could he know... unless..." "So, you're gonna run away from him are you, Erik?" "Row, Thorfinn Skull-Splitter." "And you, Keitel Blacksmith." "I gave an order." "Or didn't you hear?" "We don't get anywhere if we fight." "Row!" "Faster." "We can't keep this up!" "Row, row, row, row." "And up!" " The Gates of the World..." " What?" "We have passed through the Gates of the World." "No we are in the Unknown..." "Look!" "I never thought I should live to see the sun again." "Where?" "So that is what the sun looks like!" "Should the sun do that?" "Excuse me." "What are you looking at?" "Look out!" " It's not the sun!" " It's not the sun!" "It's not the sun!" " What is it?" " It's the Dragon of the North Sea!" "Ah!" "That's why I can't see it." "Some dragon!" "Ooh!" "What a hell..." "Look out!" "Row!" "Row!" "What's all the panic about?" " The Dragon..." " Children afraid of the dark." " Slower." "Nobody can row at that speed." " Oh sorry." " Man overboard!" " Slower!" "In!" "Out!" "In!" "Out!" "We're... being... attacked!" "No, no Sven..." "We... must... kill!" "Kill!" "No good going berserk against a dragon!" "Faster!" "Make up your mind." "Keep up the strike!" "Stop it!" "Row!" "Row!" "Keep rowing!" " What are you doing?" " It saved my father!" " Erik!" " Row!" "Keep rowing!" "His dad was the same." "Used to take forty winks in the middle of a battle." "Just shut up!" "Has anyone told him we've got a dragon eating our boat?" "He done!" "Death to dragons!" "Red mist!" "Barmy!" "Take a deep breath!" "It's at time like this that this book is most useful." "I'll take that." "Shut up and row you idiot!" "Breathe in, you cod-brain!" "Hold on tight!" "Urgh!" "What's it been eating?" "Get back!" "Look out!" "Get back!" "Look out!" " Who was that?" " Leif the Lucky." "I can't hang on!" " Let me go, Sven." " What are you talking about?" "I'm not worth you're risking your life for!" "I've got you, Keitel Blacksmith!" "If you go..." "I go too..." "Hang on!" "First we're flying now we're sinking!" "Who are we fooling?" "This is hopeless!" "Let's all sing something!" "Anyone know any good drowning songs?" "Listen!" "Maybe we won't get to Hy-Brasil!" "Maybe we won't find the Horn Resounding, but at least we've tried... and at least we shall have died like men." " Like fish." " Shut up." "Erik's right!" "We'll all meet in Valhalla." "I don't want to die!" "Isn't there anybody who'd like to be christened before we go down?" "It can't do you any harm." " What do we have to do?" " Nothing at all." "I simply immerse you in water..." " Get lost!" " Right." "Don't let me drown, Thorfinn!" "Oh, Odin!" "Not me, I'm too young." "Please not me." "Perhaps I'd rather drown." "Till we meet in Valhalla." " How deep is the ocean?" " Very deep... usually." "Wait, wait wait!" "Nobody kill anybody!" "What is it?" " It's the Dragon again!" " No... no, it isn't." " The sun!" "That's it!" " The sky's blue." "The sun!" "Erik!" "Look." " She's got no clothes on!" " It's disgusting." "Get her weapons." "She hasn't got any." " She must have a knife or something..." " What kind of place is this?" "Maybe they've got weapons we haven't even dreamed of..." " Let's hack her to pieces." " No." "Well, what else do we do?" " How about making friends?" " "Friends"?" "What's wrong with making friends?" "You don't go through all the hardships of an ocean voyage to make "friends"." " We can make "friends" at home." " Welcome!" " What did you say?" " I said you're welcome." " Welcome?" " Well, of course." "We always welcome friends." "How d'you know we're "friends"?" "Well, everyone is friends here on Hy-Brasil." "Hy-Brasil?" "Is this Hy-Brasil?" "Well, of course." "Please, please, what are those?" " What are what?" " Those things in your hands." "These?" "What are these?" " Yes." " They're swords." "Oh no!" "No!" "Put them down!" "Please, please put them down!" " What's the matter?" " Please!" "You don't know what you're doing!" " Make them put them down." " Why?" "Yes, why?" "Why?" "Yes." "But surely you know?" " No." " Know what?" "Well, the wonderful blessing under which we live here on Hy-Brasil!" " No... we don't." " The Gods decreed that if ever swords spilled human blood upon these shores, the whole of Hy-Brasil would sink beneath the waves." "That's terrible!" " You mean if just one person gets killed?" " This whole place would sink?" "Yes!" " You mean, you can't kill anybody?" " Right!" "Isn't it wonderful?" " What?" "Not being able to kill anybody?" " Well, of course." "But how?" "Well... for a start..." "there's no killing." "Well obviously there's no killing." " But how d'you take revenge?" " How do you punish people?" " How do you defend yourselves?" " We don't have to." "We're all terribly nice to each other." " All the time?" " Well, of course!" "We have to be." "Being nice to each other is what it's all about." "You see, we're terribly nice to each other." "We're friendly bold and free." "We never say anything nasty 'cause we dare not." "No, sirreeeee!" "Would you like us to sing to you?" "Sing?" "Well, that's very kind of you, but we're in a hurry and..." "What's the matter?" "Don't you want to hear our singing?" "Oh, yes of course." "It's just we're looking for the Horn Resounding and..." "You don't think our singing's going to be good enough for you?" "No, no, no, no, it's just the Horn Resounding..." "A lot of people like our singing, you know." " Well, I'm sure it's lovely." " But you don't want to hear it." "No, no, no." "We'd love to hear it, wouldn't we?" " Yes." " Yes." "Well, you'll have to ask us really nicely." "Er, well, we'd be terribly grateful if you would sing for us." " You're just saying that." " Well, of course he is!" "Of course we're not." "We would genuinely like to hear you sing." " Really?" " Really." "And you're not just saying that because you think we want you to?" "No." "Summon the musicians!" "We'll do the one that goes... tum-tum-tum-tum-ti-tum-tum." "But it's not the one we're best at." " Couldn't we do the one that goes "Tum-ti-tum-ti-tum-ti-tum"?" "Not when we've got visitors." "Ah!" "The musicians!" "Oh dear, I'm sure you're not going to like this." "It's, it's just no good, we are not a musical nation." "No, no, no it was, it was very... nice." "Really?" "Now, I want you to be absolutely, totally, genuinely honest with me." "Did you really, truly, honestly like it?" "No." "They didn't like it." "Oh, my God." "I want to die!" "Your Majesty, we come from a world where there is no music." "Where Fenrir the Wolf covers the sun." "A world where men live and die by the axe and by the sword." " Well, how do you think I feel?" " We must find the Horn Resounding!" "Is it here on Hy-Brasil?" " I'll tell you what." " Yes?" "We'll do the one that goes "Tum-tum-tum-tum-ti-tum-tum"." "Perhaps you'll like that one better." "Have you ever felt like this about anyone else?" "You mean got into bed with them?" "No." "Of course not, silly." "I mean..." "felt like this about them?" "You mean you have got into bed with somebody else?" "No, I mean... have you ever felt that for the first time in your life, you've met someone you really can believe in with your whole heart?" "Someone whose goals suddenly seem to be your goals." "Whose dreams become your dreams." "Have you ever been to bed with anyone else?" "Why do you go on about that?" "You've felt like this before." "It, it was different." "What was she like?" "Well, I didn't know her very well..." "But, but you loved her all the same?" " We never went to bed together." " Why do you go on about that?" "You have been to bed with somebody else, haven't you?" " I've never loved anybody!" " I've never been to bed with anybody!" " Aud?" "Open up!" " It's my father." "I know you're in there." "Aud?" "Do you hear me?" "Oh no!" "Halfdan!" " I would walk right in and surprise you." " Throw this over you." "Right!" "Well..." "Where is he?" " Who father?" " Who?" " Who, whoever you've got in here of course!" " But there is no one, father." "I smell one of those foreigners." "That's who it is, isn't it?" " He's the fifth one this week." " Fifth?" " All right, where is he?" " There's no one here, father." "Look for yourself." "He wouldn't be a midget, Father!" "Ah!" "So you admit there could be someone here." " Ah, you're losing your temper!" " Of course I'm not, my dear." "I'd never lose my temper." "Oh dear, more visitors!" "Ah-ha, right!" "Come on!" "Come out of there!" "Come out like a man." "I know you're in there." "It's all in your own mind, father." "It's you who is always imagining that I'm up here with some man or other." "I don't know how you do it, Aud..." "I sometimes think you've got some of your mother's magic in you." "There's no magic, father." "My mother had no magic." "She did, I tell you!" "She could blind me as easily as the night the day." " Oh, it's your fantasy." " But I'll catch you." "Like I caught her." ""The Cloak Invisible"." "It was my mother's parting gift." "Fifth one this week?" " Can I have my shirt back please?" " Oh for goodness' sake!" "And I thought you said it was something special." "Oh, Erik, that's just what I am trying to tell you, you are." " Five this week, how many the week before?" " Oh!" "You're as bad as my father." " And the week before that?" " Erik!" " Erik!" " Yes?" "I just want to help you to get to Asgaard." " I mustn't let him land!" " Who?" "Halfdan the Black." "I feel strange." "What?" "Sort of wobbly and excited?" " Sort of." " Oh, that's fear." "Thorfinn doesn't know the meaning of fear." "Is it sort of like a sinking feeling in your stomach?" " That's it!" " But you're not even afraid of death, Thorfinn!" " I know, I know." " It's magic." "What magic?" "I've heard of a magic that strikes fear into the heart so you cannot fight." " Yes!" "I can feel it." " I always feel like this!" " It's not magic!" "It's just a trick!" " Don't you feel it?" "All right." "If they're using magic, we'll use magic of our own!" "Aud!" "Why didn't you come up by the stairs?" " Just give me a hand." " I mean, you could have killed yourself." " Where's the Cloak Invisible?" " Why?" "I can't see it!" "Have you got another man in here already?" "It's in that chest." " There isn't another man." "Oh no, no." " I'll bring it back." " No, Erik, you don't understand." " No." "It's you who doesn't understand." "Halfdan the Black has come to kill and destroy." "We brought him here." "We must stop him." " You don't realize..." " Goodbye, Aud." " Thanks!" " No, wait, Erik." "The Cloak Invisible, it only seems to work on my father!" " And a sort of slightly sick feeling?" " That's right!" "And you keep wanting to go to the toilet." "Oh, yes." "I noticed that." "Shut up, you two." "You're making us all nervous." "So, Halfdan the Black's using magic, is he?" "Well, I have here a magic to match his!" " What is it?" " A magic dish cloth." "To the oars!" "Row!" "Row!" "Row!" "Row!" "You incomprehensible, horizontal eyed Western trouser-wearers!" "Row!" "You all look the same to me!" "Row!" "Row!" "How I abominate your milk drinking and your lack of ancestor worship... and your failure... to eat your lunch out of little boxes!" "I don't think it would be so bad, if we knew what he was saying." "Silence!" "Unceremonious... rice pudding eaters!" "How I despise your lack of subtlety, and your joined up writing." "You who have never committed... ritual suicide in your life!" "Erik!" " What magic have you brought?" " You'll see!" "Open wide." "All right!" "Here it is." "Here is the magic from the King's daughter!" " How did he do that then?" " Do what?" " Vanish." " He hasn't." "Where is he then?" "He's there!" "Oh, dear!" "I've done it." "Oh, yes." "Oh!" "Scary, scary, don't we look mean?" "You can't see me!" "But I can see you!" "Your big breasted women give me no pleasure with their warmed up fish..." "What's the matter?" "Haven't you seen anybody fight before?" " No." "They're usually too scared of us." " Kill him!" "There, that's a true Berserk." "Well I'm..." "I'm just building up to it, Dad." "The fear's gone!" "Kill!" "Now you see me..." "Now you don't." "What?" " Well, come on!" " I..." "I..." "Hang the Blacksmith's Code!" "I am the air!" "I am the wind!" "Fight damn you, fight!" " Well go on, go berserk!" " Oh give us a chance, dad!" " What about you, why don't you go berserk?" " Got to keep my eye on him." "This is the life, eh?" "Erik!" "Kill!" "Thorfinn!" "Look out!" "Now row." "Row, you moron!" "Thorfinn!" "You can't die!" "I'm not frightened of anything." "You'll see my grandfather in Valhalla." "No... he's not... not there." "Tell him I'm coming." "No!" "Wait, wait, Erik." "Erik, wait." "Loki." "What are you doing here?" "Halfdan wanted to stop you waking the Gods so," "I disguised myself to sabotage their plans." " To save you, Erik." " But..." "It, it was my master Keitel's idea." "Wasn't it, Keitel?" "Well I..." "Yes." "I thought that..." "But..." "How is it that you can see me?" "You can all see me?" " What do you mean?" " Why shouldn't we see you?" " Well, I'm wearing the Cloak Invisible." " Oh, there you are." "You mean you could all see me this whole time?" " Weren't we supposed to?" " Oh!" "I feel a little er..." "Erik, we are grateful to you and to your men." " Yes, we are." " And there is only one way we know to repay you." "Musicians!" "We would love to hear you sing again, but, what we'd really appreciate would be, if you could see your way to lending not giving of course, but just lending us the... um... well, to be quite blunt, the Horn Resounding." "It's yours." " Is that it?" " Is there something the matter with it?" "No, no, it's just I didn't expect it to be quite so big." "Well, it's not called Horn Resounding for nothing, you know." " You do know how to play the horn, do you?" " What?" " You do know how to play the horn, do you?" " Yes, sir, yes." "Then I expect you'll be leaving first thing in the morning, eh?" "Keitel." "Keitel Blacksmith." "Let's talk, Keitel Blacksmith." "Have you forgotten why you came on this voyage?" "Do you want Erik to wake the Gods?" "How can we stop him now?" "Take this." "And throw it from the cliff heights." "They'll never be able to make the Horn Resounding sound without it." "Why me?" "Why don't you do it?" "Hurry!" "Surely you haven't forgotten your Blacksmith's Oath?" "Hurry!" "Or I might have to tell Erik why you really came on this voyage." "Who's that?" "It's only me." "I was just going out to water the dragon." "Clumsy idiot." "The Blacksmith's Code." " Keitel!" " What?" " What are you doing, Keitel Blacksmith?" " Get away, Snorri." " What have you got there?" " Get off!" "Snorri... get back..." "Oh, no!" "Oh, Gods!" "What have we done?" "Stay calm!" "This is not happening." "What did he say?" "Now, I know what some of you must be thinking, the day has come we're all going down, etc, etc." "But let's get away from the fantasy and look at the facts." "We, er, do seem to be going down quite fast, Your Majesty." "Not trying to contradict you, of course." "Oh no, no, of course you're not, citizen." "But let's stick to the facts." "The threat of total destruction has kept the peace here in Hy-Brasil, for one thousand years." "So whatever else is happening, you can rest assured," "Hy-Brasil is not sinking." "Repeat:" "Not sinking!" "May I just make a point in support of what King Arnulfs just said?" "Oh, we, we'd be delighted, wouldn't we?" "Yes, we'd certainly like to hear what one of us has got to say." "Save yourselves!" "Hy-Brasil is sinking." "Ah, but you don't know our safety precautions." " It can't happen." " But it is, look!" "I've already appointed the Chancellor as chairman of a full committee of inquiry into exactly what is going on," " and in the meantime, I suggest we have a sing-song!" " Good idea!" "I can't swim!" "Relax!" "Relax!" "Relax?" "I'm drowning!" "Help!" "I can't swim!" "Help!" " Let go!" " Help!" "Help!" "Help!" "Help!" "Excuse me!" "You hit him!" "Well, that's what you're supposed to do." " Isn't it?" " Look!" "Aud!" " You know, I think we're getting better." " How can you tell?" "Father!" "It's all right, it's not happening!" " Father, it is!" " Get on board!" " No thanks!" " Who do you think you are?" " Panic-mongers!" " Come on over here!" " Leave us alone!" " Yeah." "Leave 'em alone." " It's sinking!" "Hy-Brasil is sinking!" " Well, my dear, I think you'll find it's all a question of what you want to believe in and I happen to have more experience of these matters than you do I think." "Father." "It's times like this my child, when this book and I... right." "We must blow the first note." "The note that will take us to Asgaard." "Over the Edge of the World." "We are going where only the dead have been before." "Here, let me have a go." " It's all so hard." " You're not using the right technique." "No!" "No, I'm doing it!" " Look, you're always telling me..." "telling me..." " Stop it!" "Why can't you let me do something for myself?" " Just the once!" " No!" "Don't fight!" "We're never going to get where we want to go if you fight." "Um, don't blow it, you don't know what might happen." "It has not spoken for a thousand years." "You must bring it to life... with a kiss." "Help!" " What are you doing?" " What do you think we're doing?" "Help!" "Somebody help us?" " Shut up!" " She wants to kill us!" "She wants to take us over the Edge of the World!" "There is no Edge of the World." "There is no dragon..." "Right!" " You do want to get to Asgaard, don't you?" " How do we know that's the way?" " We blew the Horn Resounding." " She blew the Horn Resounding!" "Don't you see, Erik!" "She wants revenge!" " What are you talking about?" " Shut up!" " She knows it was our fault!" " Shut your mouth, Keitel!" "No, Loki!" " I should never have listened to you!" " You've lost your mind!" "We came to stop you waking the Gods, Erik!" "But I didn't want anyone to get hurt!" "You fool!" " I should have got rid of you long ago!" " Like you got rid of Snorri?" "No!" "No!" "We are in the spell of the Horn!" " Hatred will destroy us." " That's right!" "Hatred will destroy you." "He killed Snorri!" "He caused the land of Hy-Brasil to sink!" " She knew!" " I didn't know!" "Now she wants to take us over the Edge of the World!" "Well, how else do you think we're going to get to Asgaard?" "Do you know the way to Asgaard, Keitel Blacksmith?" "Do you, Sven?" "There is only one road before us... and it leads over the Edge of the World." "No!" "Don't look over the Edge!" "Don't!" " Let me see!" " No." "Don't look." " The abyss will suck away your strength." " I must look!" "Keitel!" "Hold this!" "What do they see?" " You still want to go to Asgaard?" " Of course." "Do you believe I love you?" "You don't have to love me." "Just..." "you believe I love you?" "Yes, I do." "Then let go!" " I'm still seeing stars." " We're all seeing stars." "No!" "I was hit on the head." "Wake up!" "Don't sleep!" "Wake up!" "Bi-Frost..." "The Rainbow Bridge." "Wake up." "Wake up!" "Are we dead?" "Asgaard!" " Where?" " Up there, you fathead." "Look at it." "It's real." "Hallucinations are real." "Blow the second note." "The second note." "The note to wake the Gods." "Gently." "Erik!" "You've done what you came to do?" "Not quite." "Blow the third note." "The note to take you home." "There is something I must ask the Gods." "No living man has ever entered the Halls of Asgaard." "The Gods will never let you return." "I came to find my grandfather." "I have to go..." " Then I shall come too." " No... no..." "I don't want to live without you." "Oh, Aud, I guess..." "I..." "I came here to find..." "someone." "I'm sorry." "I really am." "Valhalla!" "There, you see?" " It's solid!" " It's real." "Now do you believe us?" "There's nothing there." "If you see..." "Ha, ha, ha!" "You're all having me on, aren't you?" "It's Valhalla." "Where the warriors slain in battle go." "It doesn't exist for him." "He hasn't got an ounce of faith in him!" "Right." "Listen!" "Oh, good, it's Mr. Wonderful!" "I've come to take you back to the land of the living." "What a stupid idea." "Why?" "Well, what's the point of being dead in the land of the living?" "I'll ask the Gods to give you life again!" "Who is he talking to?" "Right." "Have you ever tried asking the Gods for anything?" "No." " Odin!" " I'm busy." "Odin?" "He's busy." " Is that Odin?" " You'll have to wait till he's finished his game." "Odin!" "We come from the world of Midgard." "Clear off." "No, wait, Thor." " You have to help us." " We don't have to help anybody." "Fenrir the Wolf covers the Sun." "Men fight and kill each other all the time." "This is ridiculous." "Why should we care?" " Because you're the Gods." " So?" "So bring the Age of Ragnarok to an end and stop all this fighting and bloodshed." "Erik the Viking, the things you seek are not in our power." "We don't make men love each other, or hate each other." "But, you're the Gods." "Look Erik..." "Dad?" "How can you tell?" "I'll never forget him." " The bastard!" " Dad." " He drove me mad!" " Easy, Dad!" "All his "You'll never be a berserk if you lose your temper!"" " I hate you!" " Dad!" " I hate you!" " Dad!" "You won, Sven." "What right have you to try and stop men fighting, Erik the Viking?" "There is glory in battle." "Riches to be made and won." "Made by you, Loki!" "By you, Keitel Blacksmith." "Don't you know, Erik, that's why he went with you." "Ragnarok was good for his business." "It's not my business any more!" "Fenrir the Wolf is gone, Erik." "But will men cease fighting each other?" "That is not in our power." "I have one more request, before we return." "Return?" "You have set your foot in the Halls of Asgaard, Erik." " You cannot return." " But it's all in your imagination." " Whatever it is." " You're the only one who can do it." "Please." "Oh, allright." "You mean we must stay here forever?" "Stay here?" "This is Valhalla." "This is reserved for those slain-in-battle." " Yeah, we're the lucky ones!" " Yeah, it's better than dying of old age." "For you there is only the Pits of Hell." "Son!" "My son!" " Get lost!" " Dad!" " Grandfather!" " Sven!" " I tried to save you." " Why should you care?" "I don't know!" "I just did!" " Erik!" " No." "Let go, Snorri!" " I've got you!" " Hold on!" "I've got you!" "I've got you, Sven!" "Listen!" "Listen!" "The third note!" "I want to go home." "I don't believe it!" "It brought us home!" " But who blew it!" "?" " Well, who cares, we're home!" " Mum!" "Dad!" " We're home!" "Throw down your weapons or we kill the children." "Get 'em back!" "Well, now we'll kill the children anyway." "Mind your heads!" "Harald!" "Mum!" "Mum!" "Hello, mum!" "My boy!" "My boy!" "Look!" "Subtitle:" "Completely fixed: titler"