"JIM, WILL YOU TELL THE GIRLS TO FINISH THEIR CEREAL?" "WE'RE RUNNING LATE FOR SCHOOL." "GIRLS, FINISH YOUR CEREAL." "WE DON'T LIKE IT." "WELL, PUT SOME SUGAR ON IT." "OKAY, YOU GIRLS READY TO GO?" "YEAH!" "YEAH!" "Both:" "BYE, DADDY!" "BYE, DADDY!" "BYE, DADDY!" "BYE, DADDY!" "BYE, DADDY!" "BYE, DADDY!" "BYE, DADDY!" "BYE, DADDY!" "JIM?" "WHAT?" "THEY ATE." "HAH!" "OH, BABY." "JEEZ, JIM, WHY DON'T YOU JUST BUY A NEW ONE?" "WHAT DO THEY COST, LIKE, 80 BUCKS NOW?" "WELL, THAT'S 80 BUCKS THAT COULD BE COLLECTING INTEREST" "IN THE KIDS' COLLEGE FUND." "HONEY, YOU NEVER STARTED A COLLEGE FUND FOR THE KIDS." "I'M WAITING TO SEE WHICH ONE'S THE SMART ONE." "OKAY." "[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ]" "BETTER." "DANA, DO YOU WANT TO COME TO DINNER ON SATURDAY NIGHT?" "MY LITTLE BROTHER IS BRINGING HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND." "WHEN DID ANDY GET A GIRLFRIEND?" "HE DIDN'T TELL YOU?" "WHAT DO YOU GUYS TALK ABOUT AT WORK?" "STUFF." "WE FOUND A THUMB ON THE WORK SITE THE OTHER DAY." "WE STILL TALK ABOUT THAT." "WELL, ANDY IS DATING RUBY'S PIANO INSTRUCTOR, ALICIA." "WHEN DID RUBY START TAKING PIANO LESSONS?" "WHERE DO YOU THINK SHE'S BEEN GOING EVERY SATURDAY" "FOR THE PAST MONTH?" "OUT..." "THERE." "WHY ARE WE PAYING FOR PIANO LESSONS?" "I WAS GONNA TEACH HER HOW TO PLAY." "YEAH, LIKE YOU WERE GONNA POTTY TRAIN HER." "ANYBODY CAN PEE SITTING DOWN." "JUST WAIT TILL YOU SEE ME WITH THE BOY..." "NO HANDS..." "OH." "...IN THE SNOW..." "WRITING HIS FULL NAME." "NOW THAT TAKES LESSONS." "DO YOU MIND IF I BRING SOMEBODY TO DINNER?" "REALLY?" "MM-HMM." "HIS NAME IS DR. JOSH NELSON." "HE'S A CARDIOPULMONARY SURGEON." "A DOCTOR?" "SINCE WHEN?" "WHAT?" "SHE DIDN'T TELL YOU?" "WHAT DO YOU GUYS TALK ABOUT ON THE PHONE?" "YOU." "REALLY?" "YEAH, IF YOU WERE SHOES." "ANYWAY..." "I FINALLY FOUND A STRAIGHT, SINGLE, SUCCESSFUL MAN." "A MAN WITH AMBITION." "I DON'T MEAN HOW MANY DOUGHNUTS HE CAN EAT WITHOUT THROWING UP." "17." "All:" "AW." "THAT'S REALLY GOOD, RUBY." "ALICIA'S TEACHING STYLE IS SO UNIQUE." "I DON'T THINK OF MYSELF AS A TEACHER." "I'M MORE ABOUT WATCHING THE CHILD'S NATURAL TALENT" "EVOLVE ON ITS OWN." "SO YOU'RE MORE LIKE A $25-AN-HOUR BABYSITTER, HUH?" "HE'S KIDDING." "WE LOVE YOU." "HONEY, SHE JUST WATCHES." "YOU KNOW WHAT?" "ACTUALLY, IT'S TIME FOR DINNER." "WHY DON'T WE HAVE THE GROWNUPS IN THE DINING ROOM," "KIDS IN THE KITCHEN?" "I WANNA EAT WITH THE GROWNUPS." "I KNOW, SWEETIE." "JUST 14 MORE YEARS." "YAY!" "MY DATE'S GONNA BE A FEW MINUTES LATE," "SO I'LL JUST GO WAIT OUTSIDE FOR HIM." "DATING A DOCTOR." "OH." "RUBY IS SO TALENTED." "SHE PROBABLY GETS IT FROM ME." "I PLAY THE HARMONICA." "OH!" "YEAH, LIKE IN JAIL." "YEAH." "YEAH, IT'S KINDA HARD TO HIDE A PIANO" "DURING A STRIPSEARCH." "ALICIA..." "WHY DON'T YOU SIT OVER THERE..." "AWAY FROM JIM?" "SO, I HOPE EVERYONE BROUGHT THEIR APPETITE" "BECAUSE CHERYL COOKED, LIKE, HALF A COW!" "ACTUALLY, I'M A LACTOVEGETARIAN." "OH, I THOUGHT YOU PEOPLE KILLED YOURSELVES" "BECAUSE A SPACESHIP WAS COMING." "[ CHUCKLES ]" "OUCH." "NO, WE JUST DON'T EAT MEAT OR EGGS." "IT'S NOT A CULT." "WELL, DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD?" "OF COURSE I BELIEVE IN HER." "DON'T." "GOD IS NOT A GIRL." "HOW DO YOU KNOW?" "BECAUSE GOD IS A BOY'S NAME." "ALICIA, I DON'T WANT YOU TO WORRY." "ANDY TOLD US YOU WERE VEGETARIAN," "SO THE GIRLS AND I MADE YOU A 5-BEAN HARVEST LOAF." "OHH." "I THINK I'LL HAVE SOME OF THAT, TOO." "I'VE BEEN A VEGETARIAN FOR THREE WEEKS NOW," "AND I'VE NEVER FELT BETTER." "REALLY?" "SO THOSE FIVE SLIM JIMS TODAY -- THAT DIDN'T COUNT?" "MORE, PLEASE?" "I'M SORRY, HONEY." "I FELL OFF THE WAGON." "BUT I'VE BEEN CLEAN NOW SINCE 2 -- 4:30." "HI, EVERYBODY." "THIS IS MY DATE, DR. JOSH NELSON." "HI." "ACTUALLY, "JOSH" IS FINE." "OKAY." "DR. JOSH." "[ PAGER BEEPING ]" "OH, EXCUSE ME." "OOH." "BIG ACCIDENT ON THE EISENHOWER." "LOOKS LIKE MR. LOWDER'S GONNA GET HIS HEART AFTER ALL." "OHH..." "WELL..." "GUESS I'M GONNA HAVE TO GET USED TO THIS." "MY APOLOGIES." "IT WAS REALLY NICE MEETING ALL OF YOU." "OH, YEAH." "TAKE CARE." "BYE." "SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?" "THE GUY'S GOT WIVES ALL OVER THE PLACE." "DO YOU GUYS WANNA COME OVER AND WATCH THE BEARS GAME?" "OH, HONEY, PLEASE." "I MEAN, VEGETARIANS DON'T SIT AROUND" "AND WATCH FOOTBALL ON SUNDAY." "THEY'RE PROBABLY OUT DANCING AROUND A POLE" "PRAYING TO A CABBAGE OR SOMETHING." "ACTUALLY, JIMBO," "I'M A HUGE FOOTBALL FAN." ""JIMBO"?" "HONEY, LOOK, THERE'S SOME GRISTLE OVER THERE YOU MISSED." "YOU MIGHT WANT TO GRAB IT." "SEE, JIM..." "BO..." "ALICIA'S FROM WISCONSIN." "I'M A PACKERS FAN." "[ GASPS ]" "IN MY HOUSE?" "GUESS WHAT'S FOR DESSERT?" "ACTUALLY, ANDY'S BEEN WATCHING THE PACKERS GAMES WITH ME," "AND I THINK HE'S STARTING TO WARM UP TO THEM!" "[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]" "[ GASPING ]" "I JUST BEEN CHECKING THEM OUT, LOOKING AT A FEW BROCHURES," "YOU KNOW, SEEING WHAT THEY'RE ALL ABOUT." "YOU'RE DEAD TO ME." "[ SIGHS ]" "WHAT?" "WHAT DID I DO NOW?" "YOU KNOW, JIM," "ALICIA IS ANDY'S FIRST GIRLFRIEND SINCE CARRIE," "AND YOUR BEHAVIOR TONIGHT WAS EMBARRASSING." "YOU CAN ONLY EMBARRASS YOURSELF." "AND YOU SHOULD KNOW." "WHAT ABOUT YOU?" "INTERRUPTING ME AND GIVING ME LOOKS" "AND STUFFING BREAD IN MY MOUTH..." "WITH NO BUTTER." "IF I DIDN'T DO THAT YOU'D BE " "I'D BE FINE, HONEY, AND YOU'D BE OUT OF A JOB." "[ LAUGHS ]" "I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF." "I'M NOT RUBY OR GRACE." "I KNOW." "THEY HAVE MANNERS." "DO YOU KNOW THAT PACKER FAN ATE THE CENTERPIECE?" "!" "WE ALL ATE THE CENTERPIECE, JIM!" "IT'S CALLED A SALAD!" "HONEY, SHE WAS A GUEST IN OUR HOME," "AND NOW SHE THINKS YOU'RE A BIG JERK." "I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS WHAT ANDY'S GIRLFRIEND THINKS OF ME!" "THAT'S MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU." "YOU ARE THE ONE THAT CARES." "EVERYBODY CARES." "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "EVERYBODY CARES"?" "YOU'RE SO OBSESSED WITH THIS PEOPLE LIKING YOU." "JIM, WHEN YOU'RE RUDE, IT REFLECTS ON ME," "AND WE BOTH REFLECT ON ANDY." "YEAH, WELL, WHEN YOU KICK ME, IT REFLECTS ON YOU," "AND IT HURTS ME." "ALL RIGHT, I HEAR YOU." "YOU WANT ME TO BACK OFF." "YEAH, LET'S TRY THAT FOR A CHANGE." "LET'S JUST LET JIM BE JIM." "OKAY, HONEY." "IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT, YOU GOT IT." "FLY, LITTLE MEAT-FILLED BIRDIE." "FLY." "HEY, GUYS." "HEY, ANDY." "IS THAT BACON?" "SWEET MOTHER OF GOD, THAT TASTES GOOD." "HEY, I THOUGHT YOU WERE A VEGETARIAN NOW." "ALICIA AND I BROKE UP LAST NIGHT." "I'M TAKING IT OUT ON THE ANIMALS." "BEARS OR PACKERS?" "BEARS." "THERE YOU GO." "HEY, RUBY, ENOUGH WITH THE "TWINKLE, TWINKLE."" "HOW ABOUT SOME "LITTLE STAR"?" "OH, ANDY, I AM SO SORRY ABOUT YOU AND ALICIA." "WHAT HAPPENED?" "SHE FOUND A TURKEY LEG IN A BAGGIE" "TAPED TO THE BACK OF THE TOILET TANK." "YOU KNOW, LIKE THE GUN IN THE GODFATHER." "OH." "WELL, AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, ANDY," "YOU JUST DODGED A BIG, FAT, 5-BEAN BULLET." "JIM, THEY JUST BROKE UP." "NO, NO, DANA." "WE'RE NOT DOING THAT ANYMORE." "WHAT ARE WE DOING?" "WE'RE GONNA JUST LET JIM BE JIM." "THANK YOU." "YOU'RE WELCOME." "AW, COME ON, ANDY." "BE REAL." "I MEAN, ALICIA WAS A CONTROLLING PAIN IN THE BUTT." "YOU KNOW, LOOKING FOR SOME SCHMO SHE CAN PUSH AROUND." "YOU KNOW." "AM I RIGHT?" "I GUESS." "I MEAN, SOME LITTLE BOY SHE CAN MOLD" "INTO SOME FREAK VEGETARIAN PACKER FAN, RIGHT?" "YEAH." "YOU'RE NOT SOME SHE-GOD LOVING LITTLE BOY." "YOU'RE A MAN!" "YEAH!" "A MEAT-EATING, BEARS-LOVIN' MAN!" "MY NAME'S ANDY, AND I LOVE BACON!" "NOW, YOU SEE THAT, CHERYL?" "YOU SEE THAT?" "WHEN YOU STOP CENSORING ME," "I CAN TAKE A MAN WHOSE SPIRIT IS BROKEN," "WHOSE HEART IS SHATTERED," "AND MAKE HIM..." "NOT THAT WAY!" "OKAY, YOU SEE HERE " " CURLY," "HE'S GONNA MAKE BREAKFAST FOR LARRY AND MOE." "BUT PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE PANCAKE SYRUP." "IT'S REALLY GLUE." "MOE IS GONNA BE REALLY PISSED." "HEY, SWEETIE!" "HOW WAS YOUR PIANO LESSON?" "GOOD." "ANDY?" "HEY, WHERE YOU GOING?" "IT'S A "CURLY."" "NO, THANK YOU, JAMES." "GOODBYE, JAMES." "W-W-WHAT'S WITH THE "JAMES"?" "UH-OH." "IT'S FORMAL GUY." "HE'S MAD AT YOU." "WHAT DID I DO?" "ALICIA AND I HAVE CHOSEN TO RESUME OUR RELATIONSHIP." "AND IN LIGHT OF CERTAIN OPINIONS YOU EXPRESSED ABOUT MILADY..." "I NO LONGER FEEL AT EASE IN YOUR PRESENCE." "OH, ANDY, I WAS JUST TRYING TO PUMP YOU UP WHEN YOU WERE DOWN." "NO MATTER." "FROM THIS DAY FORTH, I SHALL WORK WITH YOU," "I SHALL BE IN THE BAND WITH YOU," "AND I SHALL BORROW MONEY FROM YOU." "BUT THAT'S IT." "ANDY, COME ON, LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS." "CHERYL, YOU'RE MY SISTER, AND I LOVE YOU," "BUT I JUST CAN'T BE HERE ANYMORE." "NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE TO GO PICK UP SOME..." "TOFU." "GOOD DAY TO YOU, MILORD." "ANDY..." "I SAID GOOD DAY!" "YOU SEE, JIM?" "WHAT?" "ANDY, HOLD ON!" "JUST FOR THE RECORD, I WANT YOU TO KNOW" "THAT HE'S ON YOUR MOTHER'S SIDE OF THE FAMILY." "SO, ALICIA TAKES US" "TO THIS GREAT KOSHER VEGETARIAN RESTAURANT CALLED SOY VEY." "UH-HUH." "AND ANDY BETS" "THAT HE CAN STUMP THE SITAR PLAYER." "SO DR. JOSH PICKS "LITTLE RED CORVETTE,"" "WHICH IS FUNNY BECAUSE HE DRIVES A LEXUS." "OHHH..." "WE LAUGHED AND LAUGHED." "OOH-OOH, WAIT, DR. JOSH WAS THERE?" "WELL, BARELY." "HE WAS GIVING CPR TO THE MAITRE D'." "YOU SEE, JIM, ONE OF ANDY'S SISTERS" "GETS TO GO OUT WITH HIM AND HIS GIRLFRIEND" "AND SHARE IN HIS NEWFOUND LOVE AND HAPPINESS." "THE OTHER ONE IS MARRIED TO YOU." "WELL, HERE'S ANOTHER WAY TO LOOK AT IT " "WHERE'S THE PRETZELS?" "OH, COME ON, HONEY, I'M SICK OF THIS." "I'VE INVITED ANDY AND ALICIA OVER THREE TIMES THIS WEEK," "AND HE KEEPS MAKING UP LAME EXCUSES." "OH, HONEY, WHO CARES?" "I DO." "YOU SEE, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I LET JIM BE JIM." "YOU KNOW, HONEY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY" "EVERYTHING THAT COMES INTO YOUR MIND." "WELL, I'M HOLDING SOMETHING BACK RIGHT NOW." "OH, HONEY, WOULD YOU TALK TO ANDY..." "FOR ME?" "WHY?" "I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG." "TYPICAL MACHO GUY." "YOU KNOW, I THINK, DEEP DOWN," "LITTLE JIM IS DYING TO COMMUNICATE WITH LITTLE ANDY." "YOU KNOW, YOU AND I HAVE" "VERY DIFFERENT IDEAS OF WHO LITTLE JIM IS." "[ ELECTRIC GUITAR PLAYS ]" "I GOT US SOME PRETZELS." "HEY, IS ANDY COMING, OR WHAT?" "I DON'T KNOW." "I INSULTED HIS WOMAN." "APPARENTLY, YOU DON'T DO THAT NOW." "1, 2, 3, 4." "[ BLUES MUSIC PLAYS ]" "[ MUSIC STOPS ]" "HEY, WILLIE, ED, JOE..." "HARMONICA GUY." "SORRY I'M LATE, BUT MY OVERBEARING," "PACKER-LOVING GIRLFRIEND HAD A FLAT." "WELL, GREAT." "YOU READY TO PLAY?" "I DON'T KNOW." "IS THERE SOMETHING YOU WANT TO SAY TO ME?" "[ SIGHS ]" "GO TO HIM, JIM." "[ SIGHS ] HEY." "HEY." "UM..." "YEAH." "YOU KNOW?" "SURE." "PRETZEL?" "YEAH, THANKS." "OKAY." "ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET BACK TO IT." "OH, BY THE WAY, ALICIA AND YOU" "ARE INVITED OVER TO SUNDAY DINNER." "OOH, NOT SUCH A GOOD IDEA." "AW, COME ON, I'LL BE NICE." "JIM, YOU'RE NOT THE PROBLEM." "COME ON, HE'S ALWAYS THE PROBLEM." "[ SIGHS ] WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?" "CHERYL -- FOR SOME REASON," "ALICIA DOESN'T LIKE BEING AROUND HER." "MY CHERYL?" "MM-HMM." "NOT ME?" "CHERYL?" "NOW, ALICIA TOLD ME THIS IN CONFIDENCE." "PROMISE ME YOU WON'T TELL CHERYL." "I PROMISE." "YOU'RE GONNA TELL HER, AREN'T YOU?" "OH, YEAH." "1, 2, 3, 4." "[ BLUES MUSIC PLAYS ]" "ALL RIGHT!" "WELL, WELL, WELL." "I MADE UP WITH ANDY." "OH, HONEY, THAT'S GREAT." "THANK YOU." "AND I ASKED ALICIA AND ANDY" "TO COME OVER FOR DINNER ON SUNDAY." "FANTASTIC!" "BUT THEY'RE NOT COMING." "WHAT DID YOU DO?" "I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING." "IT TURNS OUT..." "I'M NOT THE ONE SHE DOESN'T LIKE." "APPARENTLY, SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU." "WHAT?" "!" "WHAT?" "!" "YEP, NOT A FAN." "WELL..." "D-DID ANDY SAY WHY?" "NO, JUST DOESN'T LIKE YOU." "NOT HER CUP OF TEA." "YOU RUB HER THE WRONG WAY." "A THORN IN HER SIDE." "I GET IT!" "[ SIGHS ] AND IT'S FINE." "WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR DINNER?" "WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA." "NOT SO FAST." "FIRST, I WANNA HEAR IT." "HEAR WHAT?" "I WANNA HEAR YOU SAY, "JIM, YOU WEREN'T THE PROBLEM." ""I, CHERYL, WAS THE PROBLEM." ""NOT YOU, JIM." "I, CHERYL..." ""WAS THE PROBLEM." "SIGNED " " CHERYL LE problème."" "JIM, I DON'T CARE WHAT ALICIA THINKS ABOUT ME." "ALL THAT MATTERS IS THAT SHE LIKES ANDY." "THAT'S WHAT'S IMPORTANT HERE." "IT IS!" "[ SNICKERS ]" "WHAT?" "!" "SOMETIMES LIFE TICKLES ME." "NO." "WHAT?" "OH, COME ON, CHERYL, YOU CAN'T STAND THIS." "YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH BEING LIKED." "YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THAT." "I HAVE NOT!" "OH, COME ON!" "YOU THOUGHT THE "ROMPER ROOM" LADY HATED YOU" "BECAUSE SHE NEVER SAW YOU THROUGH HER MAGIC MIRROR." "OH, SHE SAW ME." "THIS IS JUST EATING YOU UP INSIDE, ISN'T IT?" "NO, IT IS NOT, YOU GUYS!" "I AM FINE WITH THIS!" "REALLY!" "I'M FINE!" "REALLY!" "WELL, SHE SAID IT SO MANY TIMES," "SHE MUST BE FINE." "SHUT UP!" "[ "TWINKLE, TWINKLE, LITTLE STAR" PLAYS ]" "WHAT?" "WHAT?" "IT'S MY KID." "WHAT DO YOU CARE?" "BACK DOWN, BACK DOWN." "YEAH!" "ALL RIGHT!" "[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]" "AW, HONEY." "COME ON, GRACIE, LET'S GO SEE RUBY." "OH, YAY." "HI." "SORRY I'M LATE." "WHERE'S DR. JOSH?" "OH, HIS GRANDMA HAD CHEST PAINS," "AND HE WENT RUNNING, "COMING, GRANNY!"" "THIS IS CHIP." "CHIP WORKS IN THE MAILROOM AT MY OFFICE," "AND HE HAS ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD FOR ME." "HE DRIVES A COROLLA." "COME ON, THERE'S THIS GREAT BAR" "I WANNA TAKE YOU TO ON RUSH STREET." "YOU'RE 21, RIGHT?" "[ Whispering ] IS HE 21?" "AW, RUBY, YOU WERE SO AWESOME." "YOU WERE LIKE A TEENY-WEENY, WHITE RAY CHARLES." "THANK YOU." "MUSIC IS A UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE," "AND IT SPEAKS TO OUR SOUL, AND WE LISTEN." "I HATE PIANO." "CAN I QUIT?" "HONEY, YOU KNOW, IT'S OKAY WITH ME." "BUT YOU KNOW WHO LOVES PIANO?" "SANTA." "DADDY, CAN I HAVE A COOKIE?" "OH, SURE, BABY." "WHY DON'T YOU BOTH GO GET SOME COOKIES OVER THERE?" "RIGHT?" "AND FILL UP YOUR POCKETS." "WE PAID TWO BUCKS A SEAT." "HONEY..." "OH, HEY, THERE'S ALICIA." "WHY DON'T WE GO OVER THERE" "AND TELL HER HOW GOOD THE PERFORMANCE WAS?" "HONEY, NO, NO, NOT NOW." "SHE'S BUSY TALKING TO SOME OTHER PARENTS." "OH, I WONDER WHY." "OH, IT'S 'CAUSE SHE LIKES THEM." "MAYBE SHE DOES." "I TOLD YOU I DON'T CARE!" "I KNOW, HONEY." "ALICIA!" "COME ON OVER HERE!" "I WANNA TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE SHOW." "THAT RECITAL WAS SO GREAT." "WELL, RUBY'S A WONDERFUL STUDENT." "SHE'LL BE EVEN BETTER" "WHEN SHE KICKS IN WITH THOSE OTHER FINGERS." "WELL, SHE HAS A GREAT TEACHER." "WE'VE GOT AN ADVANCED CLASS COMING UP IF " "WHY DON'T YOU LIKE ME?" "ANDY!" "HEY, LOOK, AN EXIT." "ALICIA, I DON'T MEAN TO MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE," "AND IT'S OKAY IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME, REALLY." "I MEAN, I JUST KIND OF WANT TO KNOW " "WHY DON'T YOU LIKE ME?" "!" "NOT THAT IT MEANS ANYTHING TO HER." "I-I NEVER SAID I DIDN'T LIKE YOU." "I-I JUST SAID I DIDN'T LIKE BEING AROUND YOU." "SPLITTING HAIRS HERE." "WHY?" "WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?" "WELL..." "BE HONEST." "THIS IS GONNA SOUND STRANGE." "IT'S JUST YOU'RE SO..." "PERFECT." "HUH?" "I MEAN, YOU'RE THIS PERFECT MOM" "WITH THIS GREAT HOUSE AND THESE TERRIFIC KIDS," "AND YOU'RE PRETTY AND SMART." "AND HERE I AM STARTING UP A RELATIONSHIP WITH ANDY," "AND I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE THE STANDARD I'M BEING HELD UP TO." "LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT." "WHAT YOU'RE REALLY SAYING IS YOU LIKE ME TOO MUCH." "I GUESS I WAS JUST JEALOUS." "WELL, YOU DO REALIZE THAT I'M MARRIED TO HIM?" "HEY, HOW YOU DOING?" "ALICIA, YOU KNOW, THE TRUTH IS I AM SO NOT PERFECT." "I MEAN, WHAT YOU SAW WAS" "AN ISOLATED LITTLE SLICE OF MY LIFE." "RIGHT BEFORE YOU GUYS CAME, I WAS IN RATTY SWEATS," "HEMMING MY DAUGHTER'S DRESS WITH A STAPLER." "THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME THAT." "I FEEL A LOT BETTER." "NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME" "I HAVE TO GO RUIN THE REST OF ANDY'S DAY." "I WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY IT." "SAY WHAT?" "SAY, "YOU, CHERYL, ARE NOT THE PROBLEM." ""YOU, CHERYL, ARE IN FACT DELIGHTFUL." "SIGNED -- JIM THE JACKASS."" "I'M NOT SIGNING THAT." "AW, HONEY, YOU KNOW THAT EVERY TIME A HUSBAND IS WRONG," "AN ANGEL GETS ITS WINGS." "[ CHUCKLES ]" "OKAY, HONEY, YOU'RE PERFECT," "AND I'M THE "HIM" IN "WHAT'S SHE DOING WITH HIM?"" "OH, HONEY, DON'T WORRY." "SOMEDAY, SOMEWHERE, SOMEONE WON'T LIKE ME." "OH, YEAH, AND THE APES WILL RULE THE PLANET." "BLAH, BLAH, BLAH." "COME ON, LET'S GO." "HOW COME EVERYTHING ENDS WITH APES RULING THE PLANET?" "WELL, ALL THEY NEED ARE THEIR THUMBS." "SPEAKING OF THUMBS, DID I TELL YOU I FOUND ONE AT WORK?" "YES, YOU DID."