"It's touchdown time." "Come on!" " Previously on House of Lies..." " Does Tess really want a DD tutorial or does she want a lover?" "I can totally get you a TED Talk." "Aah!" "Looks like I'm gonna have to press flesh with the fans." " Excuse me." "So..." " 'Cause you know what billion-dollar clients mean?" "Big, fat fucking zeroes at the end of that fat-ass check that Skip Galweather's gonna cut to acquire K and A." "Assuming your ex-wife" " doesn't win the offer first." " Correct." "We're gonna blow her right out of the water." " Jeannie, this..." " Oh, Seth Buckley, running for mayor." "Seems like you really don't want me to go out with him." "What would make you..." "Good, 'cause I'm gonna fuck his brains out." "A boy band." "A fucking boy band, Ron?" "They're not just any fucking boy band, okay?" "They are D'ream Out Loud." "D'ream Out Loud is the biggest band since One Direction." "Ooh!" "Love them." "Celestial Music Group is having a hard time getting the band to re-sign." "And when I pitched us as closers, they were very excited." "CMG knows all about the cruise deal and your spike with suboptimal engagements." "So word of our Dushkin whispering has spread, and now they want us to re-sign these dickheads and then what?" "We get to babysit the Backstreet fuckin' Boys?" "You whisper them into re-signing," "CMG is all over our collective dick, and are they ripe for reorg." "Yeah." "Top down, extreme makeover." "Yeah, endless afterwork." "I get it." "But I don't know." "A fucking boy band?" "Monica's racking up all these media properties, and K and A is media light, okay?" "She's one step ahead of us, Marty." "She's poised to win the big "enchi-layda"!" "Oh..." "There's an apostrophe between the "D" and the "ream"?" "So it's "Dah-ream Out Loud"?" "You don't hear the apostrophe, man." "You just say "dream."" " Say "dream." Dream." " Dream." "No, no, no, you see, the..." "One more time... dream." " Dream." " See, I'm..." "I can still hear the apostrophe." "Are you fucking with me, Ron?" "Yes, I am." " Please leave my office." " I'm leaving." "Yeah." "Right out the do'or." "All right." "Mrs. Buckley, so nice to meet you." " Oh, I'm not..." " Hey, listen, you are... you are doing great." "Uh, you want any pancakes?" "You hungry?" "Uh, actually, I have to get to work." "Oh, okay, all right, well, have a good day, all right?" "Um, I'll see you tonight for the Silicon Beach fund-raiser?" " Fantastic." " Yeah?" "Okay." "Oh, oh, very good." "Oh, wow." "Come on." "Oh, my God, what?" " What are we laughing at?" " I'm..." "I... some of my new TED Talk fans." "I'm sorry, fa..." "You said "fans"?" " That's right, fans." "But, yeah." " Oh, shit, I didn't know." "Tell me, tell me." "I want to know everything." " They're tweeting me the funniest things." " Cool." " Well, more sweet than funny, I guess." " Oh." "Like, uh, "You changed my life,"" "there, "You're an inspiration."" " Oh, yeah." " God, it's overwhelming, but in a good way, you know?" "No, I don't." "Quick question:" "How many Twitter followers did you have before the TED Talk?" " Wow, that takes me back." " Sure." "Uh... 125." " And you have... 136 now." " Yeah." " 11 new fans." " Yeah, that's right." "Have you considered extra security?" "It's not about quantity, Clyde, it's about quality." " So sorry." "I'm so sorry." " Eight are women." "And, uh, some even show quite a bit of cleav in the old Twitter avatar." "Oh!" "But you don't care about that..." "you got a girlfriend, right?" "No, Clyde, the pressures of fame are many." " Oh, wow." " Yeah, sure, a lot of people enjoyed the content of my TED Talk, but I also took off my shirt." "So... secret's out." "Tess understands that I'm a lot of women's hall pass now." "(A):" "It was completely unnecessary for you" " to go shirtless in your TED Talk." " Oh, I disagree." "(And B):" "You're telling me that Tess went up to you and said," ""I know that women are gonna want to fuck you now"?" "Those were her exact words to you?" "Well, no." "I haven't actually had a chance to speak with her since the TED Talk." " Wow, that was over a week ago, right?" " Was it?" " Yeah." " Oh, wow, time flies in a whirlwind, huh?" " You guys seem rock solid." " Yeah." " Congratulations." " Thank you." "I'm happy you're figuring it out." " Yeah, we'll be fine." "Yeah." " Uh." " You'll be-you'll be fine." " I think so." " Jeannie Beans." " Hey." "How was the meet and greet?" "You have pancakes or waffles or did you do both?" "You can't have pancakes and waffles, Clyde." "Are you fucking crazy?" " It was fine." " Ah." "I have to admit, I was a little bit nervous about you and Seth getting together." "Really?" "I hadn't picked up on that." "But I'm clearly out of touch with the electorate, because, honestly, people have been really responding to you at these campaign events..." "I mean, fucking you." " Jeannie?" "Really?" " I know!" "Fuck you both." "I'm a delight." "Eh." " Oh, Douglas." " Hmm?" "Your fantasy is finally coming true." "We are gonna meet with a boy band." "Very funny." "Not even close." "No, no, no." "No, the puerile sounds of boy bands are poison to my ears, and the only antidote is Steely Dan." "Ah." "You like yacht rock." " Mm-hmm." " Shocker." "D'ream Out Loud has been an unparalleled success for CMG." "You might have heard their song "Summertime Girl."" "It was on the radio, like, every second of every day." "I don't think so." "♪ In your eyes ♪" "♪ Took me to paradise ♪" "♪ Sun-kissed skin and the tide was high ♪" "♪ I'll never say good-bye ♪" "♪ 'Cause... ♪" "♪ You're my summertime girl ♪" "♪ Let me take you for a whirl ♪" "♪ Let me take you for a whirl... ♪" "I had no idea I knew all the words to that song." "Sorry, tell me again why we're chasing the pale imitation of New Kids on the Block?" "Oh, because since 2012, D'ream Out Loud has racked up 50 million in record sales," " 19 number ones worldwide," " Oof." "and over 7.5 million in concert tickets sold." "Cha-ch'ing." "But the real star of the group is that guy, Conner Sanders." "He's the newer, shinier version of Harry Styles." "He's no Jordan Knight." "Yeah, definitely tell him that." "Look, their new contracts have been sitting on their lawyer's desk for ten months." "Apparently, they're sitting out their current deals so they can be free to do whatever the fuck it is retired teen idols do." "I can tell you what Joey Fatone did." " Ruined My Big Fat..." " My Big Fat Greek Wedding." "We got it, Doug." "Jesus Christ." " Shut up about that." " Well, he did." "Listen, D'ream Out Loud may sound like bullshit, literally and figuratively, but we are gonna go after them like any other client." "We get D'ream Out Loud, we get CMG." "When I was in fourth grade, somebody ripped down my poster of Jordan Knight from my cubbie." "And I knew Erin Hart had something to do with it." "She was such a fucking bitch." "What?" "Uh, re-sign them and get rich." "Yeah." "Welcome back." "Good." "♪ You're my summertime girl, let me... ♪" "♪ Let me take you for a... ♪" "I'm not..." "I don't need to..." "Get out." " Yeah." " Get out." "♪ Let me take you for a whirl... ♪" " Get out!" " Yep." "Wining and dining a bunch of haircuts at Dave  Busters." " This is new." " I don't get it." "They have millions of dollars in the bank." "They couldn't have chosen a place with tablecloths?" "Hey, they love it here, so we love it here." "There's Conner!" "Three of these things is not like the other." "Well, Conner's the linchpin." "There's Conner!" "So if we take down the alpha, the rest shall follow." "Ooh." "Well, what do you think?" "Welcome to paradise, homies." "It's like the dah-ream come true." "Who's up for air hockey, yo?" "Conner?" "Conner, over here!" "Come!" "Should we do two-on-two?" "Us against glasses and Jew-fro." "Wow, can't pass that up." "Conner!" "Conner!" "D'ream Out Loud!" "So, uh, what is better, the Tie-Dye Snow Cone or the Ruby Red Mega Margarita?" "I like the Strawberry Watermelon Margarita." "It's made with berry blocks." "Berry blocks?" "Can we please have two of those right away?" "Thank you." "So what's up, pimpin'?" "Hear you, uh, are gonna go solo?" " Mm-hmm." " Dope." "Look, I'll, um, I'll have a drink with you, but let's-let's skip the whole thing where you try to talk me into re-signing." "Shit." "I had this whole audio/visual presentation set up, too:" "I was gonna have graphs and fireworks and dancing girls and shit, it was gonna be awesome." "You know what, Kori?" "Let's just kill the PowerPoint." "So... what?" "You're seriously not gonna try to convince me to re-sign?" "Sounds like you already made up your mind, right?" "Fuck it." "Oh, here we go." "Okay, so what do you want to drink to?" "Uh..." "No, I got it." "We will drink to your last two weeks of financial security." "What?" "What-what are you talking about?" "Oh, my God, that's delicious." "Well, I looked at your financials." "Mm." "And..." "Shit." "I'm not gonna try to sell you." "Forget it." "Y-You're... you're doing great." "I mean, you're gonna be Justin Timberlake." "Fuck it, you're gonna be bigger than Justin Timberlake." "But you know what I am gonna do?" "I'm gonna go work on my jumper." "You got this, right, playboy?" "Sure." "Okay." "Damn, girl, why you dressed like we're at a business meeting or something?" "Oh." "Because we're at a business meeting." "Yeah, you need some bling." "I'm gonna win you a necklace." "You don't have to w..." "Okay." "You know, I don't think I could do what you're doing." "Risking it all." "It's like we sing in the song "Follow Your Heart."" "You've go to follow your heart." " Oh, those are the lyrics." " Oh, is that what it means?" "Plus, D'ream Out Loud can be a drag sometimes." "Yeah." "I mean, having millions of dollars and an endless supply of women sounds like a real nightmare." "Conner gets paid more than us." "We should be getting equal pay, closing that wage gap and shit." "Ooh!" "Eat it, bitch!" " The hell was that, Clyde?" " Are you serious?" "Gotta get your head in the game." "You're on defense." "Yo." "So, uh... my business manager says I'm set." "Oh, word?" "Yeah, word." "Word." "Cool." "Yeah." "Says even if I never sell a single solo album, which is, like, basically impossible," "Joel assures me I have enough money to last two lifetimes." "Oh, Joel assured you." "Yeah." "Well, I'm sure he has your best interests at heart." "I mean... he is a business manager in the music industry, after all." "I knew you were bullshitting me before, man." " What, what?" " You're trying to scare me." "That's what you're trying to do." "Yeah, I'm the boogeyman." "Let me tell you what the boogeyman sees, Conner." "A kid who is spending $650,000 a month on expenses..." "That's a huge fucking nut, buddy." "Well, I have investments." "Yeah, like your $11 million dollar house that you bought at the height of the real estate bubble?" "We'll see." "Next time you talk to Joel, ask him about his private offshore account, how it just keeps mysteriously growing." "My guess is that he isn't paying your taxes." "Let me see... you also have a six-month non-compete clause, if you don't re-sign." "I don't know, man." "Think your fans are gonna wait that long?" "I mean, teenage girls have the attention span of... well, a teenage girl." "But, hey!" "You are Conner Sanders, lead singer of D'ream Out Loud, king of the fuckin' world." "Nothing scares you, right?" " Conner..." " I love you!" "Hey, Conner!" "Boo!" "Over here!" "All right, well, after she falls asleep, will you wash the rest of the bottles?" "Yeah." "Okay, thank you." "Oh, my God, you actually won it." "How?" "Yo, that claw machine is hella hard, but I got it on the 15th try." "That's a personal best, all right?" "Well, if you stay in the band, you'll keep being able to spend hundreds of dollars on claw machine necklaces." "It's not about the money." "Everyone says it's not about the money until they don't have the money." "Thank you." "You know, honestly, I never even wanted to be in D'ream Out Loud." "Conner convinced me it was gonna be cool, you know, and then I-I made him swear that we were always gonna be tight and then..." "Conner went full asshole." "But that does not change the fact that you are in the most successful boy band on the planet, and that is a lot to walk away from." "What's the point of being rich and famous if I'm not happy?" "Feel me?" "Yeah." "I feel you." "Whoa, damn, your shit's blowing up." "Sorry." "Just let me..." "No, no, no, it's good." "What the fuck?" " Look over..." " Hi!" "I see the struggles of Angelenos every single day." "I myself am currently dating a single mother..." "Jeannie... but she works incredibly hard to put food on the table for her infant daughter." "Some days, she's even out of the house before her baby wakes up." "By the time she's back home, her baby's already asleep." "Watching her face these challenges, it reminds me every single day how this great city is full of heroes just like Jeannie." "So the question voters will..." "What the fuck was that?" "I'm sorry, am I... am I some sort of crazy crack whore charity case?" "Shit, that dude's your boyfriend?" "Yeah." "Oh, total douche move." "I thought we were casually dating, but apparently, to him," "I'm the poster child for single motherhood." "And I'm co-parenting, by the way." "Yeah." "Not to mention, you know he expects me to go to every single one of these fucking events." "Showing up and smiling when you don't feel like it." "Being a part of-of some story that you didn't write." "I know exactly what you're talking about." "I would never do that to you." "I'd treat you like a queen." " Mm, no tongue." "I... no." " No?" "Ahem." "Jeannie." "Marty wants to talk." "Shut up, Doug." "Guys, why do we have to be in the women's room?" "So the boys can't get in." "Ah, I'm so sorry, you gotta get out of here." " I'm building something." " I have to go!" "Okay, I think I got Conner." " I'm just gonna have to give him a push." " Mm-hmm." "So where you at with your guys?" "Uh, Hunter and Ryder want parity." " I guess we can make that work." " Sadly," "Sam thinks Conner is the biggest asshole on the planet and he's dead set on leaving the band." "Do these guys not realize that they are nothing but very lucky, glorified fucking backup dancers?" "Look, I think if we can get" "Conner to agree to parity, then we have three." " Yeah." " I think we can sell that to CMG." "Fuck that." "Look out." "Or we could fuck that." "I guess we're gonna fuck that." "I'm with Conner." "Junior." "Need to talk to you for a second." "You already fucked with my head enough." "Can you leave me alone?" "I think you're gonna want to hear this, unless, of course, you don't want to go solo." "Conner!" "Conner!" "Seth is calling." "You gonna pick it up?" "No." "No?" "You have 11 missed calls." "You have to fuckin' talk to him." "Do I, Clyde?" "Yes, you do, Jeannie." "Yes, you do." "Hey, Seth, what's going on?" "Yeah." "She's right here." "I don't know." "Must be broken." "Phone for you, Jeannie." "Are you fucking serious?" "Sorry, I'm such a butterfingers." "What the fuck is wrong with you, Jeannie?" "Are you ghosting him?" "I might be." "Tell me what it is and I'll tell you if I am." "It's when you break up with somebody just by never talking to them again." "It's cold as shit." "It's what Charlize did to Sean Penn." "I mean, she was all," ""I'm a ghost, bitch."" "Hey, do you have any dry rice?" "No, but we have spicy Thai peanut noodles." "No, I..." "Nope, I don't..." "Nope, I don't want that." "How long do you... do you, do you not talk to someone before it's ghosting?" "I'd say, like," " five, maybe six days." " Yeah." " That's cool." "Yeah." "That's cool." " Douglas..." " Hmm?" " How long has it been since your last Tess Talk?" "Eight-eight days." " You're being ghosted." " You been ghosted." " Yeah." " For sure." " Boo, man." "Damn it." "Yo." "I'm, uh, I'm taking off." "Conner, come on." "Don't do that." "Just tell 'em what you told me." "It's gonna be great." "Go ahead, tell 'em." "I've been an asshole and I'm sorry." "Okay?" "Yeah, you've been a real fucking asshole." "Yeah." "Yeah, I know, you're totally right, but... you're my bro, bro." "You're all my bros." "Honestly, I appreciate you saying all this, but..." "Yeah, no, I get it, man, I get it, words are cheap." "But I think we can get back to the way things were." "When we had fun." "Yo, honestly, that's all we wanted." "And equal pay." "Absolutely." "Equal pay." "Sam?" "What do you say?" "Yeah, okay." " ♪ Dre... ♪ - ♪ Dre... ♪" "♪ Dre... ♪" "♪ D'ream... ♪" "Out Loud!" "Wow." "Stuck the landing!" " Nice!" " Okay, goose bumps." "Feel great!" "I mean... band's back together, stronger than ever." "Mmm!" "Old wounds healed, rifts just... just mended." "Bullshit." "We're just fucking over the backup dancers, right?" "Yeah, I guess another way you could look at it is, we gonna win that fucking consult." "By rallying around the alpha, everyone else be damned, huh?" "What's wrong with that?" "Jeannie kissed Sam." "She 100% did." "She did what?" " Right." "I saw it." " 100% yes." "It was totally... almost totally chaste." " Well, I think there's only one thing left to do." " Huh?" " Huh?" " ♪ Kaan... ♪" " ♪ Kaan ♪ - ♪ Kaan ♪" " Now Jeannie says it with us." " ♪ Kaan... ♪" "♪ Kaan... ♪ ...and Associates!" "That's it for me." " That's it?" " Yeah." " Yeah." " Are we all stopping?" " Yeah." "I actually think I-I can do one..." "I can do one better." " Just, just come on." " Let it go, Doug." "♪ Kaan... ♪ You guys are out?" "Okay." "Jeannie!" "Hey." "Jeannie, Jeannie." "What's going on?" "Why haven't you called me back?" "I'd love to talk about this, but I'm on my way to pick up my food stamps." "What..." "Come on." "You're overreacting, okay?" "Look, I'm-I'm sorry if you didn't understand" " what I was saying." " I understood." "My life is being pulled in a ton of different directions, and I need to make it easier." "Okay." "Well, let's-let's take a weekend away." "That's why I think we should break up." "Wait..." "What?" "!" "Wait, hold on, hold on." "If this, if this is about the speech, don't..." "If I'm being honest," "I just don't like you enough." "Everybody likes me." "Mm... not everybody, apparently." "Look, Jeannie, you're wrong, okay?" "You-you-you just don't know how you feel." "What are you doing?" "Y-You can't just never talk to me again." "Actually, I can." "I'm a ghost, bitch." "Oh, shit!" "Ya got burnt, son." "Shit, man, were you guys fighting because we kissed?" "'Cause, like, she was just, like, really upset about what you said, dawg." " What?" "!" " Hey, hey!" " Whoa, whoa!" " Keep your hands off my boy, man!" "Tess." "Hey." "Long time, no talk." "Yeah." "I was fucking pissed." "You were a jerk at the TED Talk..." "I know." "...after all of the support I gave you, after I basically handed the TED Talk to you on a golden platter." "Ooh, I wouldn't say "handed it to me..."" "Whatever, Doug." "I just came in person to tell you that we're over." "Hey, hey." "Tess..." "We still have your business, right?" "God damn." "What?" "I cannot believe I never saw what a dick you are." "You know what, Doug?" "Fuck you." "Okay." "You can keep my business on one condition." "What?" "Anything." "Make me Dungeon Master or I'll leave K and A." "No, but seriously..." "I'm deadly serious." "Well, bad news." "We lost Tess's business." "The fuck are you talking about?" "I'm as surprised as you are." "Yeah." "Well, did she say why?" "I don't know." "A woman scorned?" "She was unreasonable." "I tried everything." " I know you're lying..." " Hmm?" "...I just don't know how." "Guys, let's just focus on this, okay?" " We're gonna crush this." " Yeah." " Then I'm gonna fuckin' crush you." " What?" " Hey, hey!" " Hey!" " Hey..." " Look at all these happy faces." "Let's start by congratulating D'ream Out Loud on re-signing with CMG for five more years!" "All right!" "Five more years!" " I'll drink to that." " Five more years!" "How 'bout we do this, fellas?" "Show these guys what their next five years looks like, Clyde." "Here we go." "The baseline pro forma, if the band continues on the same trajectory, is a five-year CAGR of" "14% with an NPV of $120 million." "I don't know what those "words" mean, but $120 mil sounds dope." "That is very dope." "But you know what?" "We can do even better." "Oh, well, then let's do better." "You got it." "All right, first things first." "Conner will announce that he is leaving the band." " What?" " Wait, what is..." "You're leaving the band?" "Leaving our band?" " That's not good." " Guys." "Guys." "Guys." "Guys." "Then the band will announce that it is doing a Good-Bye Conner Tour." "That Good-Bye Conner Tour raises year one NPV to $170 million." "Conner will then record a solo album featuring a duet with CMG recording artist Katy Perry and a tour." "We can assume two charting singles and sold-out intimate venues." "And, of course, there's the solo Conner tour merch." "What have we got?" "Hoodies, posters... yarmulkes, maybe, Conner?" " Think about it." " That pulls in a very conservative $62 million dollars, raising the NPV to $230 million." "$230 million." "Meanwhile, DOL will continue to tour." "Then, after a year," "Conner will realize that he can't live without the band." "He just misses his boys too much." "There will be a reunion tour." "The tour will be a marquee venue global event with premium tiered pricing." "After tickets and other ancillaries, we're looking at a mid-range five year of $320 million." "That is almost three times the baseline." "Just hang on a second." "You only apologized to us so that we would resign?" "No." "I meant every word of what I said." " You guys really are my brothers." " Oh, yeah." "And equal pay was bullshit, too," " or what?" "I mean..." " Now, no..." " You..." "Hold it." "Everyone in DOL, the four of you, will have parity." "Huh?" "They don't know what it means." "That means equal pay." "It's, everybody's gonna make the same." "Yeah." " DO..." "Yes." " Across the board, yes." "DOL will have equal pay." "However, Conner will have a separate solo contract." "But in D'ream Out Loud, we're equal." "Yeah." " Oh, hell, yeah!" " Yeah." "Boom!" "My brother!" " There you go." " Get that money, man." "Yeah, let's get the money." " Yarmulkes." " Yarmulkes." " Bring it in, boys." " Yeah." "Shots for everybody, yo!" "You knew I wanted out." "You played me." "Before you get too upset, you're about to make a whole hell of a lot of money." "Yeah?" "Man, fuck you." "Fuck you!" "Hey, you'll be okay." " Douglas?" " Oh." "My office." "Ah, shit." "Hey, Jeannie?" "Can I get that MALD, please?" "Yeah." " Thank you." " That was shitty, what we did in there." "Yeah, well, sorry that your pop idol boyfriend is mad at you, but look on the bright side." "You'll probably end up in a song." "Don't-don't give me the look, okay?" "We have done worse than that." "You personally have done far worse." "I know." "I know." "We screw people over all the time, and I get it when it's to build the business up for us, but if we're just gonna hand the whole thing over to Skip Galweather..." "I'm... what's the point?" "The point is money, Jeannie." "We already have a lot of money, Marty." "And more money... isn't gonna make you any happier." "You know what?" "Maybe you're right, okay?" "But winning will." "Hey, I just want to say thanks so much for all your fuckin' help." "I want to..." "How'd she help?" " Hey, hey, keep your hands off my boy, man." " What's tha..." "It's not funny." " I'm just..." " It's not." "Okay." "I'm just saying, the dude's got my vote now." "You did amazing work." "Followed every lead, did everything right." "Nothing you could have done." "Nothing I could have done?" "Great." "Lost the fucking CMG account, huh?" "How does that happen, Ron?" "We fucking killed that shit." "We got CMG." "Skip just called." "Told me that he and the Kohl brothers are going with Monica." "'Cause we lost." "Wow." "Well, you know what?" "That doesn't give us a whole lot of time, does it?" "Uh, doesn't give us any time." "Did you hear what I just said?" "Well, until they sign on that dotted line, we can still win this thing." "We just got to bring the Kohl brothers something fuckin' huge." "K and A can lasso another company, I don't care how huge, it's not gonna move the dial." "I-I didn't say "company."" "What about a country?" "What?" "You still have a connection in Cuba, right?" "Your contact." "I don't know if Cuba's ready for the Kohl brothers." "Let's make 'em ready." "Okay." "Let's get fucking Cuba." "♪ Mm, mm, mm, ah, ah ♪" "♪ Mm, mm-mm ♪" "♪ The first moment I saw you, I knew ♪" "♪ I can never let you go ♪" "♪ You came out of the water ♪" "♪ Shimmer like no diamond ever known ♪" "♪ 'Cause you're my summertime girl ♪"