"Mm, that Lemon Sunrise smells refreshing." "Ugh!" "It tastes like a cup of cold sick." "It's hell to be pregnant." "I know." "No, you don't." "No, I don' t." "And that's why I got you this present." ""Belle Du Jour Day Spa"?" "Yes, it's for this afternoon." "I think you need a little pampering." "Oh, Niles!" "I'm so lucky to have a husband who's so tolerant of my..." "Mood swings?" "I would have come up with it." "I'm not stupid." "Hello, all." "Hello." "Hey." "What a glorious morning it is, isn't it?" "May I get my usual, please?" "Well, well, nice to see you're approaching your first day of private practice with such an upbeat attitude." "Yes, I'm like an eager schoolboy on his first day of fractions." "So, how was the Vanlandingham's party last night?" "Weren't you lucky to snare an invitation?" "Yes." "No." "No." "Well, I'd better get over to your father' s." "Call me later." "I will." "Thanks again for my day of beauty." "I'm sorry I snapped at you." "Did you snap at me ?" "I didn't even notice ." "That's because you don't listen." "Ah... the mood swings." "Takes me back." "Thank you." "Well, anyway, in honor of your first day," "I want to take you out to lunch." "There's a wonderful Indian restaurant right across the street from our building." "Could we order in from them?" "I'm booked except between the hours of 1 1 :45 and 1 2:30." "All right." "My, that's an ambitious first day." "Yes, well, I want to pack in all I can." "That's why I took the day off from my radio snow." "Well, happy sailing through the choppy waters of the dysfunctional and the disturbed." ""Optional eyebrow wax"?" "!" "What is that supposed to mean?" "!" "(sobbing)" "Same to you, skipper." "Dr. Crane?" "I'm Peggy." "I hope I'm not late." "Not at all." "Won't you come in?" "I'm Dr. Frasier Crane." "Please, be seated." "First of all, welcome." "Whether our journey together lasts for years or just one day," "I can't tell you howexcitedl am to take this first step with you." "You know I'm just the temp?" "Ah." "Well, I see my first patient is here." "If you could just see her in." "Thank you." "Righty-o." "Go right in." "Hello, Dr. Crane." "I'm Jane Walsh." "Hello, Jane." "Please be seated, won't you?" "I'm Dr. Frasier Crane." "First of all, welcome." "Whether our journey together lasts for years or just for one day," "I can't tell you how excited I am to take this first step with you." "Have we met?" "Ah, I am in the media." "So my face is recognizable." "But don't let that inhibit you." "Please, what's on your mind?" "Okay, um.... sometimes I feel this, this kind of sadness hanging over me." "I see." "And is this sadness triggered by anything." "Wait." "Did you ever date a woman named Stephanie Walsh?" "Yes, a few years ago." "She's my sister." "Oh." "Yeah, I met you at a party once." "Oh, well, then I'm glad we cleared that up." "All right, now, this sadness of yours, is it a general... (snickering)" "I'm sorry." "I was just remembering something." "Uh, yeah, I'm sad all the time" "Ah." "Yes, well, you are now in a place where you can feel free to express yourself." "(snickers)" "I'm sorry." "I was just..." "I was thinking about something my sister told me about you." "Well, perhaps we should discuss it." "Okay." "Um, you were in bed with my sister, and, uh, right in the middle of things," "I guess you called her "Milady. "" "(laughs)" "I see." "I'm sorry." "No, no, please." "It's important that you feel free to express yourself to me." "Please, go on." "All right." "It became this running joke between me and my sister." "She called me "Milady, " and I called her "Milady, "" "and my mother started doing it, and now my aunt has a cat named "Milady. "" "This isn't going to work , is it?" "No, I don't think so." "I am so sorry, again." "Oh, please, not at all." "It's just fine" "And best of luck conquering that constant sadneck" "(laughs)" "(hushed):" "If you're done, Dr. C, your next patient is here." "Already?" "Yeah, that's me." "I find it best to be no later than a half hour early." "Saves a lot of anxiety." "First of all, welcome." "Whether our journey together lasts for years or just one day," "I can't tell you how excited I am to take this first step with you." "No, this won't work." "Thanks." "Bye." "Oh!" "Hello." "Sir..." "Sir!" "That's all right, Peggy." "Goodness, done with your 1 0:00 already?" "That was my 1 1 :00." "(phone rings)" "Hello." "Calm down!" "Calm down!" "What is it?" "I was planning on lunching with Frasier." "No, no, if it's that urgent , I'll see you then." "Oh, dear." "What's got Daphne all worked up now?" "It wasn't Daphne." "It was Maris." "(hisses):" "Maris?" "!" "I haven't spoken to her for months." "She said she needs to see me." "About what?" "I don't know." "She was hysterical." "I haven't heard her this panicked since her strength gave out halfway through a revolving door." "Uh, I have to cancel lunch." "Can't you see her after lunch?" "I have patients." "Before, then." "I'm sorry." "This just won't work out." "You know, you could at least give him a chance!" "It's his first day!" "Excuse me, I'm crazy, and I need to see the doctor." "Hello, Dad." "I brought you this for your office." "Thank you." "Why don't yuo have a seat?" "What you doing there?" "I'm just trying to figure out this chair from Stockholm Design." "Instruction booklet alone would account for the high Swedish suicide rate." "Hey." "Hey, Niles." "Niles, listen, how did things go with Maris?" "Maris?" "!" "She invited me to lunch at Le Toque." "She's gotten involved with some Argentine polo player." "Turns out he's a cad and a gold digger with a violent temper to boot." "That's probably what she put in her ad." "So, Niles, what did you tell her?" "I told her to leave him." "If he causes trouble, get a restraining order." "She was very upset by the whole thing." "Poor thing completely lost her appetite." "Barely touched her snail." "I'm supposed to be seeing Daphne." "She's going to love this." "Well, you're not going to tell her, are you?" "Well, I think I have to, don't I?" "You don't tell your pregnant wife you had lunch with your ex." "Yes, I agree with Dad." "Normally, I'm a proponent of telling the truth, but as a man who's dealt with a pregnant spouse," "I say lie until your pants are on fire." "I see your point, of course, but this isn't just a little fib to cover up some after-work shoe shopping." "This is a big lie." "I'm just not comfortable with it." "Dr. Crane, I'm back from lunch." "Your next patient is here." "Thank you, Peggy." "Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but duty calls" "If you want to wait, he's usually very quick." "Thank you, Peggy." "Hello, Dr. Crane." "I'm Carol Dryden." "Hi, Carol." "Please, come in." "Uh, won't you sit down?" "Welcome." "Whether our journey lasts for several years or just for a day," "I want you to know how excited I am to take this first step with you." "So, what's on your mind?" "I guess I have trouble asserting myself." "Uh-huh." "How so?" "Well, like last week," "I was supposed to have dinner with some friends..." "Please, why don't you go ahead?" "Anyway, I didn't really feel up to dinner, but I'm the kind of person that hates to dis... appoint people, and I was the designated driver as usual..." "Tell you what." "I'm just going to get another chair." "And why don't you keep talking, if you like." "I can still hear you." "So we go to dinner, and my two friends on either side of me are talking over me" "like I'm not even there." "And then when dinner arrived, my meal didn't come, and no one even noticed." "I guess after a while, that kind of thing gets to you." "It's like people aren't paying attention to me." "I can see how that would be very frustrating for you." "And I'm a good person." "But sometimes I just feel like the whole world is shutting me out." "Oh, there you are." "I was just calling to see if you were on your way." "I used to move faster before I was carrying your child around in me." "Well, why don't I get you a soothing cup of herb tea and then I'll tell you about a very interesting lunch I had today." "(phone rings)" "Hello." "Yes, he just stepped away." "Who's calling?" "What do you want, Maris?" "It most certainly is my business." "He's my husband now." "You leave him alone." "That was Maris." "She has some nerve calling after all she put us through." "How stupid does she think you are that you'd have anything more to do with her?" "Right." "Cheer me up." "Tell me about your interesting lunch." "Who was it with?" "Frasier." "You have lunch with him all the time." "Wait a minute." "I spoke to him earlier." "He told me he was eating in." "And that's the interesting part, because just then Dad showed up and that clogged ear of his was acting up, so I took him to the doctor." "That's not interesting." "And your father told me he was going to the dog track." "And that's where it gets interesting because after the doctor... we had lunch at the dog track." "Let me just go check on your tea." "Hey, Daph." "Hello, Martin." "How are your ears?" "Huh?" "How are your ears?" "!" "Dad, Dad." "Here you go." "I was just-- darling-- telling Daphne that I had lunch with you at the dog track." "Right." "After the ear doctor." "Right." "And how about that flat tire on the freeway?" "Niles helped me change it." "All right, now I know you're lying." "It all makes sense now." "First you get me out of the house with that spa, then this ridiculous story." "You're throwing me a surprise baby shower tonight, aren't you." "That's it." "Yeah." "But promise you'll look surprised when you come in through the door." "Oh, Niles, you are the sweetest man alive!" "Well, I should run." "The party's tonight and I have one or two finishing touches to tend to." "Come along, Dad." "Huh?" "Come along." "Oh, you know, my ear is really starting..." "Get in the car!" "ROZ:" "Hey, Niles." "Not a bad party for two hours' notice." "It's a disaster." "None of Daphne's friends could make it." "I told the caterer I wanted a maternity motif." "He thought I said "fraternity, " and now we have three kegs of beer and a six-foot hoagie." "Great spread, Niles." "Kenny Daly-- Frasier's boss." "Roz invited me." "Sorry I didn't bring a present." "Actually, you did-- a baby blanket." "You'll find it in the pile on the table." "Oh, great." "Oh, by the way, your wife's a peach." "My wife isn't here yet." "Oh, no." "Whose stomach did I just rub?" "Wow, Frasier, you're really stuffing your pie hole." "Look, I've had a very tough day." "I'm entitled to a little comfort food before my evening appointment." "(Frasier's stomach grumbling)" "That was pretty." "I'll give you a tip, son." "Tough nights on the force, I used to eat like that." "Trouble was, I'd be sitting in the squad car all night, pants digging in, stomach making unholy noises." "There's only one thing that helps:" "Ioosen your belt and pop the top button." "Thank you, Dad, for schooling me in the ancient ways." "(laughing)" "Oh!" "Here she comes!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Come on." "(chuckling)" "Okay, okay." "ALL:" "Surprise!" "My God, what a surprise!" "I've never been so surprised!" "Oh, thank you, Niles." "All these people who mean so much to us." "Mom and Frasier and... you." "Our doorman." "Doesn't he work with Frasier, that m an at the big sandwich?" "Well, once word got out, who was I to say no?" "Here, Daphne." "I don't see many of my friends yet." "Will Holly be coming?" "Margaret or Tina?" "Well, I had to make the cutoff somewhere." "Excuse me, darling." "Would you come here." "(loud gasping)" "(loud gasping)" "Calm down, Niles." "I can't." "I'm telling her another lie every time I open my mouth!" "Get a grip on yourself, man!" "It's called marriage!" "Dr. Crane?" "Yes?" "I'm Esteban di Rojo." "I am the lover of your ex-wife Maris." "Uh, you've made a mistake." "No, you have." "What did you do that for?" "This ex-husband had lunch with my Maris today." "He gave her fool's advice, and she was afoolto follow it." "Are you all right?" "Niles, did you have lunch with Maris today?" "Yes, I-I-I was just about to tell..." "So you weren't planning my shower at all." "This whole party was just a sham." "I'm so sorry." "Not as sorry as I am." "Daphne, Daphne, wait..." "I don't want to hear it." "I've never been so humiliated in my life." "DOORMAN:" "Allow me." "Dr. Crane, your appointment is here." "Is your eye okay?" "It's kind of twitching." "Well, just a little unfortunate accident." "Uh... please, send her in." "All right." "Hi." "Hello." "I'm Shannon Palmer." "Hello, Shannon" "Uh, please, won't you be seated." "Uh, I'm Dr. Frasier Crane." "Uh... first of all, welcome." "Whether our... journey together lasts for years or... only just a day," "I can't tell you how excited..." "I am... to take this first step with you." "Okay." "Uh..." "Geez, this is a little hard to talk about." "Oh, well, just relax." "You know, many of my patients find it easier to open up if they're lying down." "Um... okay." "Well..." "I guess I have problems with men." "No matter what they say, all they really seem to want is sex." "(Frasier's stomach grumbling)" "It's hard, because I want to b loved for who I am, of course, but if who I am is an attractive woman... (stomach grumbling)" "What was that?" "It-it must be the, uh... the air-conditioning or something." "Please, uh, continue." "It's to the point now..." "I meet a perfectly nice man, and I don't trust him." "(phone rings)" "The machine'll get it." "(machine beeps)" "This is Stephanie Walsh." "Remember?" "Milady?" "Sorry about my sister." "You're not the first guy to do something weird in bed." "Oh!" "I'm so sor..." "Oh!" "Oh, good Lord!" "No!" "What the hell?" "!" "I'm sorry!" "I-I'm sorry!" "(gasps)" "What is wrong with you?" "!" "It's not my fault." "It's just a-a trick I learned from my dad." "You certainly know how to keep 'em moving." "Anyway, if you could sign my timecard, I'll be going." "Although if you... haven't hired anyone permanent yet... (sighs):" "Well, Peggy," "I'm afraid I won'?" "really be needing anybody permanent." "Uh, I'm starting to think this return to private practice was a big mistake." "Everyone's first day is a little rough." "Well, except mine." "I didn't even have to do any billing." "(laughs)" "Nice meeting you." "Nice meeting you, too." "(heavy sigh)" "Dr. Crane?" "Yes?" "Uh..." "I was your 3:00 that canceled." "I got cold feet." "I was hoping maybe you could squeeze me in." "Oh, well, I was just about to put this day out of its misery, but, uh, please come in." "Thanks." "Hello." "I'm Brad Kincaid." "That's... not my real name." "I'll just get it off your insurance form." "Why don't you have a seat, Brad." "First of all, welcome." "Whether this journey..." "Well, forget it." "Uh..." "What's troubling you?" "Well, I just went through a messy divorce, and my kid's in another city." "I came here to begin a new career... but it's not happening for me, and I'm thinking maybe I made a big mistake." "You know, Brad, sometimes things take a little longer to turn in our favor than we think they should." "How long?" "Well, that depends." "Tell me more." "I'm listening." "Okay." "Well, I've been here about six months now..." "Daphne..." "I am so sorry." "It's all right." "Well, not completely, but I'm not as mad as I was." "I just don't understand why you couldn't tell me ?" "you were having lunch with Maris." "I was going to, but you were just so upset when she called." "I didn't know how you'd react." "I suppose I have been a little bit difficult lately, haven't I?" "There's just no good answer to that." "I'm too tired to talk about this right now." "All I want is a nice cup of tea and a warm bed." "Coming up." "One last word." "I tell you, Maris will never come between us again." "MAN (over radio) : ... under the baton of Sir Adrian Adler." "And now, news headlines." "Police have just arrested Seattle socialite Maris Crane for the murder of her lover, polo star Esteban di Rojo." "Di Rojo was killed this evening at Mrs. Crane's estate..."