"Previously on Nip / Tuck..." "Something wrong with our baby?" " It's called Electridl..." " Ectrodactyly." "Look, you're a doctor." "You know what those hands look like." "Never be able to go out in public and not be stared at by strangers who'd laugh that he's a freak!" " Where's Mattie?" " He's in the garage." " It's been over two hours." " Sweetheart, just let him be." "It's a family dinner, Julia." "That means all the family." "Maybe the reason your relationships with women keep failing is because you're taken." "What the hell are you talking about?" "Have you ever considered the possibility that you're in love with your partner?" "Nothing like the real thing, baby." "Everything's real about me except my name, Blu Mondae." "I made it up when I moved out here from Embarrass, Minnesota, that's the coldest place in the United States." "I nearly froze my hooters off." "Wanna know my real name?" "Honey, everything I need to know about you is bouncing right in front of my face." "You can have them." "They're like huge weights around my neck." "By the end of the day..." "Sweetheart, I pay you money to keep it simple, which means more ass and less mouth, unless it's sucking on me hard." "Sorry." "Look, your breasts are beautiful." "They're the quintessence of femininity." "Trust me, I should know." "I spend my life stuffing implants into flat-chested wannabes." "You're a plastic surgeon?" "I can't get taken serious on account of everyone assumes I'm just some big-titted whore." "I couldn't even get a job at Sea World because my tits weren't "family friendly. "" "Why would you wanna look like a boy?" "Well, if you made them look smaller, then people's attitudes towards me would change." "I could maybe go into business selling Mary Kay or something." "I could work it off." "Sorry, honey." "You could dance on my dick until you're 90." "No pro bono for boning a pro, no matter how hot you are." "New policy." "Let's go." "Shit!" "Thank you, sweetheart." "Yeah?" "Shit, Michelle, I'm in the middle of something." "I'll be there when I'm finished." "Yeah." "Let's get them bouncing, honey." "That's it." "Mr. Skinner, tell me what you don't like about yourself." " Well, I was..." " His chin, for starters." "It's weak and a bit ill-defined." "We're thinking something stronger." "And maybe a little straightening of the nose." "Something a bit more aristocratic, like, well, like this." "So you'd like me to make him look more like you?" "Well, I'm not expecting miracles." "We can't all be born with these cheekbones." "I was a sculptor's model." "You remember the naked statue that caused such a fuss in Tampa?" " The dolphin?" " Oh, snap!" "I like you." "Brains and beauty." "I'm sorry." "I don't play for your team." "That's what they all say at first." "Look at Mitchell." "Straight as the day was long." "Until I came along and saved him from a backwards, backwoods marriage to a child-bride." " You were married?" " I was 16." "We grew up together." "It didn't work out." "You see?" "People can change." "He was so innocent, poor boy." "But I thought, "I can make something of this boy. "" "But the face..." "Mr. Skinner, is this something you're interested in?" "Yeah." "Sure." "You know." "Mitchell understands that the world I live in, that we live in, has a certain aesthetic." "And you can't enjoy its privileges without conforming to certain higher standards." "Why don't we schedule you for a pre-operative consultation, Mr. Skinner?" "That way we can go through your options in greater detail?" "How's that sound?" "Hey." "We got you a little something, sort of a pre-birthday present." " It's a gym membership." " It's the new one down on Collins." "Oh, well, thanks." "That's really cool of you." "But, I got everything I need in the garage." "Matt, wait." "It's just that we think you're in there all the time." " You're all alone." " Yeah, I like being alone." "But it'd be good for you to get out, honey." "You know, just to be around other people." "It's two minutes from your therapist's, you can go right after." "Was there anything else you wanna control in my life?" "Maybe I should be on a bathroom schedule, too?" "Look, do us a favor." "Don't say no until you check it out." "Morning." "You know, it could've been worse, Sean." "You know, at least it didn't blow up." "Is there any raspberry jelly?" "What did you do to your hands?" "Nothing." "I just taped them up to look like the baby's gonna look." "Untape them, please." "Right now." "I just wanted to see what it would be like to eat and stuff." "Put the glass down and take off that tape." " Sean..." " Look, just give me your hands." " Oh!" " Shit!" "I'm sorry." "I was just curious what it would be like for him." "You don't imitate another person's disabilities." "It's like you're making fun of them." "Look, just get ready for school and I'll drive you, okay?" "You overreacted, Sean." "Now, we only told her about the baby a week ago." "If she has questions, she can ask us." "We'll get her a book." "A book's not gonna tell her how to feel." "Tell her I'll be in the car." "Double latte, Sean?" " Boo." " Sorry." "Which do you think is ruder?" "You staring at my face, or me telling you to move your ass out of the way because you're staring at my face and blocking customers?" "Non-fat vanilla mocha for Elaine?" "Excuse me." "Look, I apologize." "It's just, I'm a plastic surgeon and you have Treacher Collins." "I do?" "Oh, my God!" "I haven't seen a case since medical school." "There have been a lot of technical advances since then." "If you're interested, come in for a consult." "I think I could help you." "Did you know you were gay when you got married?" "I'm not sure I'm gay now." "Arthur bought me a Porsche, and he moved me into his guest house." "Buys me clothes, takes me to all these fancy parties." "It's worth the occasional blowjob, you know?" "The cheek implants are made of bone grafted from the back of your skull." "It sounds worse than it is." "Fix the droop here by adding fatty deposits for greater support, and reposition the angle of your jaw, which should have a positive effect on your breathing, eating, speaking." "How about French kissing?" "Why didn't you have any of this done when you were younger?" "My dad was a janitor." "The health coverage sucked." "When I was born, I had so many medical problems he got kicked off it." "I guess it was just something I learned to live with, you know?" "So you're gay for pay?" "Trust me, killer, there's plenty of sugar mamas out there who'd love a good-looking guy like you without demanding surgical alterations." "Straight's a hell of a lot easier, if you have a choice." "You bi, too?" "No." "I'm not bi." "I just hate to see somebody being trapped into something they're not because of financial hardship." "You're gonna do all this for nothing?" " Why?" " It all comes out in the wash." "We have an opening this week, if you're interested." "It's funny, you know?" "What you can get used to." "Looking like I do, it's forced me to accept being different." "It must have been a hard way to grow up." "I just always assumed it was too late, you know?" "And when I got the job making coffee," "I thought, at least I'm not hiding out in a basement where no one can see me." "You don't need to be making lattes for the rest of your life." "You don't need to do this shit to satisfy some rich old queen." "You should hang with me sometime, let me reintroduce you to the other side, to who you really are." "You wanna hang with me?" " Sure." " Cool." " When?" " How's tomorrow sound?" "Come on." "Get going." "Get going." "All right, come on, let's go!" "All right, hands going." "Keep it going!" "Come on!" "Keep it going over there!" "Work, work, work!" "There you go!" "Come on, keep it going!" "Keep it going!" "Keep it going!" "Come on!" "Almost!" "Almost!" "All right, you're done!" "Thanks a lot, you guys." "Kimber." "Matt!" "Hi, how are you?" " Oh, gosh." "Sorry, I'm all sweaty." " Oh, that's all right." " Look at you." "You've grown." " Oh, yeah." "I've been working out." "Yeah, nice." " Wow." "You look wonderful." " Really?" "Thank you." "Yeah." "What..." "Have you changed your hair or what?" "No, the hair's the same." "I'm just, I'm just feeling clearer, I guess." "But it's good to know it shows, though." "Thanks." " So, what up?" " Nothing." "Wait a minute." "So, what have you been doing?" "Like Tai Chi?" "Yoga?" "What?" "Not really." "Well..." "You really wanna know?" "All I can say is that the tech works." "I was a total victim of my reactive mind, but now I have this awareness..." " So is this like therapy?" " No way!" "How many people do you know actually got better from seeing a shrink?" "Those people don't listen, they interpret based on their own hang-ups and then lay their bullshit onto their patients." " Stay away from them, Matt." " Too late." "Sorry." " Well, is it working for you?" " I don't feel as bad as I did." "But then again, I don't feel much of anything." " I've been taking these anti-depressants." " Matt, that's awful." "I know." " Sometimes it's better to be numb than..." " What?" "Wait." "Why would you say that?" "This is your life we're talking about here." "You wanna be awake for it, don't you?" "Matt, come on." "Things happened to me, things that I would rather not remember." "But the more I avoided dealing with them the more I became a prisoner of my past." " So did you find God or something?" " I found my integrity." "And my self-worth." "And so can you." "Well, maybe this isn't such a great idea." "It's been a while since I've been with a woman." "It's just like riding a bike, my friend." "All you gotta do is get yourself the right hot bitch." " And there she is right now." " Hey, doc!" "Wanna dance?" "Actually, Mitchell here was interested in meeting you." "Sure." "Hi, Mitchell." "Can you excuse us a second?" "Come here." "Listen, sweetheart, the kid's a little confused." "He hasn't been with a woman in a while, and I want you to remind him of what he's been missing." "No problem, I'm big with the bi guys." " I'm very maternal." " I bet you are." "But, this is gonna take a little more than a lap dance." " I'm not a whore, you know." " Of course you're not." "How much?" "Forget it." "I'll do your tits for free." "All you gotta do is spend the night with him and make him feel like your body is the happiest place on Earth." "Oh, my God!" "Thank you!" "Thank you!" "Thank you, you're awesome!" " Watch the suit, huh?" " Sorry." "You must really want this guy to be straight." "He is straight." "He just doesn't know it yet." "Go get him, tiger." " Hi, cutie." "Follow me." " Hi." "Does that feel good, baby?" "Yeah." "Sure." "Your thighs are so strong." "Squish." "You're starting to feel it, too, huh, baby?" "Yeah, yeah." "I'm getting a woody." "You sure are, baby." "Okay, now I'm gonna close my eyes and pretend that you're deep inside me." "You do it, too, okay?" "Yeah, okay." "I'm inside you." "Are you feeling it, baby?" "Oh, yeah." "Oh, mama..." " You ready?" " Anything to improve my love life." "My on-line girlfriend's giving me carpal tunnel." "Count backwards from 10 for me." "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six..." "15-blade." "Ruler." "Shit." "The mandibular plane angle's too steep." "He's expecting Viggo Mortensen's chin." "And he'll get it. 15-blade." "And then don't you, like, grab from the end and you go through?" "Yeah." "Perfect." "Mommy, do you know where that really soft yarn is that I bought with you last weekend?" "I wanna show Zoey." "Yeah, I think I put it in your closet." "I'll go and get it." "You'll love this stuff." "It's really soft." "What is this?" " We were just playing." " At your brother's expense?" "Zoey, can you please go home now?" "You can come back another time." "Bye." " Do you think this is funny?" " No." "Are you making fun of what your brother's gonna have?" "You know, and that's how you're amusing your friends?" "No." "I was just..." "Do you have any idea how difficult this is gonna be for us, huh?" "And for him?" "Throw them all out." "And all the ones in your closet." "Just get them out!" "This just measures your emotional responses." "When the needle floats, it just means that you got rid of a bunch of old crap, bad feelings, experiences in your life that has just gotten in your way." "So, are you willing to share with me some of your difficulties?" " Okay, fine." "Go ahead." " Fantastic." "So tell me about the decisions you've made in your life." "Right or wrong." "Well, gee, let's see." "There was getting involved with Ariel." " That was a real good decision." " Thank you for that." "Any other decisions?" "Good, bad, right or wrong." "I don't care." "Just tell me what comes to your mind." "Okay." "When her Aryan Nation suckwad of a father held a gun to my head and gave me the choice of cutting off this guy's dick or my own," "I decided that..." "I decided on his." "Cherry's." "She was a pre-op transsexual and my friend." "Okay." " Any other decisions?" " I don't wanna do this." "The tech works, Matt." "You just gotta trust it." "Fine, you wanna hear about my best decision ever?" "I do." "Cherry had a gun pointed directly at that bastard." "She was hesitant, unsure what to do." "I should've grabbed it from her, but instead she shot him in the stomach." "And, I left him there to rot." "Getting Cherry to the hospital was more important than the life of that shit-stain." "You can write him care of the Florida state prison system if you like." "This is really, really good, Matt." " Keep going." "Any other decisions?" " Don't you get it?" "I've never made a decision in my life." "I mean, I let my dick choose some pretty girl and I nearly got it cut off." "You know?" "And the whole thing with Cherry and the shooting..." "I mean, that was out of my hands." "I never had a choice." " Can you repeat what you just said to me?" " What?" "That I never had a choice?" "I never had a choice." "How did I never see that?" "Well, thank you, Matt." "Now, tell me I am no longer auditing you." " What?" " I'm no longer auditing you." "Look." "The needle's floating, and you are clear." "I wanna get off my anti-depressants." "I think that's what we all want, Matt." "Eventually." "I mean now." " And I wanna stop going to the shrink, too." " Hold on." "You asked us all to get together for a discussion, not a press statement." "I don't think you're ready to stop treatment." "No, I don't wanna stop treatment." "I just want a different kind of treatment." "We could find another psychiatrist." "Look." "I didn't come here to ask your permission." "I'm not a kid anymore." "And what I put into my body or into my mind has to be my decision." "Okay, now, I'm committed to getting better and, you know, I've found something that I know can help me." "What?" "It's a new religion." "But I'm gonna need some money to join, and I was hoping that I could use the money that you're throwing away on all the drugs and the shrink for this instead." "What new religion?" "Scientology." "You're out of your fricking mind." "It's not a group you wanna get involved with, Matt." "It's not gonna help you." " How do you know?" " I've read about it." "Yeah, from people who don't have any first-hand experience." "You're not getting a dime." "In fact, all this does is prove to me that you're not taking enough drugs." "No, no!" "I've experienced it, man." "It works." "Look, this is the real deal, okay?" "I mean, I saw how it helped her." "I know the hell she went through and it saved her life." "Saved whose life?" "Kimber's." "And it can save mine, too." "Coming!" "Coming." "Keep your pants on!" "Jesus." "Who is it?" "Remember me?" "Go away, Christian." "Open the door, Kimber." "I need to talk to you." "Go away!" "I'm not gonna let you in." "You scared, baby?" "Come on, I'd never hurt that perfectly reconstructed body of yours." "It's my best work." "Please, Christian." "I can't see you anymore." " You're not good for me." " But my son is, huh?" "Is that why you went after him?" "Or was it to get to me?" "I didn't go after Matt." "We met at the gym." "He's miserable and lost." "And you decided what?" "That you'd rescue him?" "Maybe put him in one of your movies?" "Sweet pad you got here." "What did you do?" "Move into snuff films?" "I don't do that sort of work anymore." "I found something much more compatible with my core values." "Kiddie porn?" "Oh, yeah." "Matt's almost 18." "You must be talking about that brain suck you convinced him to join." "It's a religion, Christian." "I needed something spiritual..." "That's bullshit and you know it!" "What we had was spiritual, Kimber!" "I made you see God every time you came." "You made me see garbage, Christian." "I was nothing to you." "I was a fixer-upper that you could throw a coat of paint on." "You are such a freaking hypocrite." "You're the one who seduced me when you realized I was a plastic surgeon who could get you everything you wanted." "You were never anything more than an ambitious piece of ass." "You need to go." "You need to go right now." "How much more pain do you need to cause me before you think I've had enough?" "Look, whatever I did, whatever we did to each other..." "I loved you." "You loved your creation." "You never loved me because you never saw who I really was." "I was just something made up in your head." "Well, I see you now, Kimber." "And you know what?" "You're dangerous because you're weak." "You can't survive without someone or something to suck off." "A new lover, a new religion." "But if you start feeding on my son," "I swear, there's not one place on Earth that will keep you safe from me." "You can bill me for the door." "I don't recall Mrs. Beazer having such enormous tits." "Yeah, I rescheduled her." "You don't just bump a patient without telling me first, Christian." "I wouldn't bump Mrs. Beazer if it meant world peace." "I just put Blu Mondae in her slot." " Blue Monday?" " Yeah." "No "e" at the end of Blu, but one at the end of Monday instead of a "y"." "You brought a hooker in here?" "I want her off that table." "Sean, we've got a problem in the scrub room." "You're telling me you're doing this slut for free?" "We said no more boob jobs for blowjobs, Christian." " I thought we agreed." " Oh, come on!" "Take a look." "It's obvious that Blu Mondae needs to lighten her load." " It's called pro bono." " Blue Monday?" "With an "e" instead of a "y"." "Don't give me that look." "What's the difference between me giving her a breast reduction and whatever you're doing with Mr. Coffee?" "Who the hell is Mr. Coffee?" "The guy with the deformed face Sean operated on yesterday." "What do you get for that in return, huh?" "Lattes?" " That's totally different!" " That's enough, both of you." "You work for me now, okay?" "I own your practice and your name." "Speaking of names, where's your husband, huh?" "Isn't he the Landau in Landau Industries?" "My husband has empowered me to make all business decisions during his recuperation, which means I can replace you both with other highly-skilled surgeons whose clientele can actually pay." "Alex has Treacher Collins." "It's not the same." "They both have physical problems that need treating." "What makes his face more deserving than her tits?" "You're right, Christian." "You're just a goddamn Mother Teresa." "Thanks for backing me up there, partner." "Matt, would you ask Mom to pass the ketchup, please?" "Oh, Annie, for God's sake." "Now, I said I was sorry." " What more do you want me to do?" " Yeah." "Come on, squirt, give her a break." "All right, that's it." "Just leave the table!" "Fine!" "You're the reason the baby's deformed!" "Don't let her get you down, okay?" " It's just early-onset adolescence." " Yeah." "Well, whatever it is, I don't think I can take it right now." "No, hey." "You sit." "Let me clear." "Thanks, sweetie." "I should never have gone back to work last year." "You were right to go after your dreams." "Annie has to learn to work through her issues." "You know, you take away your children's problems and you weaken their ability to overcome them." "You know, I think that therapist is really helping." " Maybe I should book an appointment." " I stopped seeing him." " What?" " I found something better." "It's kind of a spiritual skill set for handling life." "I don't understand." "There's a life force inside all of us that reveals itself as we become more conscious." "It's called theta." "If you're waiting for me to apologize, forget it." "The girl needed a breast reduction and she couldn't pay for it." "Look, just because I spend all my time around hookers and you spend all your time around coffee, doesn't mean..." "You're right." "I should've backed you up." "I'm sorry." "I'm just under a lot of stress." "I get it." "So, what are we gonna do about Matt?" "I don't know." "I'm open to suggestions." "I say we cut him off financially." "And make sure Julia's in on it, that way the little shit can't play us off against each other." "I'll talk to her." "No, let's talk to her together." "She can argue with one of us, but, united, she doesn't stand a chance." " Mitchell?" " Yeah, I'm sorry." "I just..." "Arthur found out about me going to the strip club." "About Blu and me." "And he freaked." "He went all crazy." "He kicked me out." "He took the clothes, the car, everything." "Jesus." "Come in." "Why don't you go down to the Ocean View on Washington?" "I'll call them, let them know that you're coming." "You can stay there for a week or two." "My treat." " I appreciate that." " Of course." "And here." "Just to..." "Just to tide you over." "500 bucks?" "That's really generous." "It's kind of late." "You should probably..." "Can I use your bathroom before I go?" "Sure." "Oh, shit." " You got a really nice place here." " Yeah..." " What the hell are you doing?" " I like to work for my money." "How about I give you the best blowjob you've ever had?" "And, then, maybe I could stay here." "I told you, asshole, I'm not gay." "Get your clothes and get the hell out of here." "Gay, straight, bi." "Who gives a shit about labels, right?" "A blowjob's a blowjob." "Get out!" "Get out, before I break your goddamn skull!" "Get out!" "You can see how steep the occlusal plane angle is here." "That's the surface where the upper and lower teeth meet." "In the least severe cases, surgical repositioning of the upper and lower jaws is usually enough to normalize the angle." "But not with me, right?" "'Cause I'm Mr. Lucky." "There's a procedure where we'd connect an expansion rod on the outside of your face and turn it periodically to lengthen your jaw." "You'd need three or four years of orthodontics, but..." "No." "I'm not interested." "I'm used to this level of ugly." "I don't need to add wires to my face to scare more people away." "It would be temporary." "Once the jaw's lengthened..." "No, I don't wanna go through the pain." "I knew this was a mistake." "Maybe if my parents would have done something when I was young it could've worked." "But they didn't." "It's just me now." "Nice place you're working at." "Classy." " I was just going to..." " Well, I thought I'd surprise you." "It's more fun like this." "I'm not even gonna count it." "That's how much I trust you." "You look good." "Lovelier than ever." "Sooner than later." "How could you give him money?" "Do you have any idea who these people are?" "They're people who are helping him." "Like who?" "Like Kimber?" "You should've discussed this with me, Julia." "Why?" "You already turned him down." "We both agreed a psychiatrist was the way to go..." "When you see your happy child turn into a morose, clinically depressed young man, you do whatever it takes to make him happy again before he decides that he can't take it anymore." "She's got a point." "You don't know how depressed he's been." "Why don't you just give him a lobotomy and admit you're throwing in the towel?" "He has been high maintenance and with a special needs baby..." " That's not fair!" " No, but it's true." "Matt's my kid, and he has special needs, too." "And I'm not giving up on him just because his parents are!" "Oh, God." "I mean, he would have found the money anyway." "He was that determined." "Do you think I did the wrong thing?" "I don't know." "But I don't think it matters." "Matt's fully cooked." "It's too late to change the ingredients now." "You do what you can, when you can." "When there's still enough time to make a difference." "Yeah." "Julia," "I wanna do an operation on the baby." "We can close the cleft, reconstruct the thumb, improve his hand functioning, his motor skills." "It may take multiple surgeries, I can't know that yet, but I wanna do it soon, while he's still too young to understand, before he knows enough to be afraid of the pain." "Okay." "Yeah." "Do it, Sean." "I mean, if life is this hard for a kid like Matt with 10 fingers and 10 toes, can you imagine how tough it's gonna be for Conor?" "So, we've decided?" "On the name, I mean?" "Yeah." "Conor McNamara." "It's a good strong name, isn't it?" " Yes." " Like his father's." "I mean, the name Blu Mondae just didn't feel like me anymore since I got my tits done." "Want me to touch myself?" "Sure, whatever." "I'm gonna get out of here, once I decide what I wanna do, you know?" "Course the tips are good." "Lots of guys like a flat-chested girl." "I'm really busy." "But not for you." "Anytime you want a dance, just ask for Ashley." "Ashley Wednesday, that's my new name." "It's a lot classier, don't you think?" "ENGLISH"