" TEACHER:" "Blah, blah, blah, blah." "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." "Class isn't over, Alvin!" "Alvin!" " What?" " You can't pack up until you're dismissed." " No, no, no, I wasn't packing up." " I saw you." " No, no, you saw me organizing my backpack." "You know, which is very different from packing up." " [class laughing]" " Alvin, I'm not playing your little games today." "Now would you like to talk about the reading assignment from last night?" " Seriously?" "Would I like to talk about the reading assignment?" "Yeah, right after I poke my eyes out with a pencil." " [class laughing]" " What--what are you finding funny about this?" "I--I don't know why you're encouraging him." "Alvin, if you read the book, you'll get something out of it." " I read like 30 pages." " No, you didn't." " Well, it felt like 30 pages." "It was so boring." " That's enough!" "Will someone please start the discussion on the book?" "Anyone?" " [bell rings]" " Uh!" "Hey, I waited for the bell." " The bell doesn't dismiss you, Alvin." "I dismiss you." "Now sit down!" " But I got practice." "I've got to" " I don't care!" "Now sit down, or I'll keep you a lot longer." "At your desk, Alvin!" "So help me!" " All right, all right." "[mumbling] This is so unfair." " [stuttering]" "Will you excuse me?" " She can leave, but we're stuck here?" " Will you stop pushing her?" "She probably just went to get something, okay?" "She'll be right back." " [owl hooting]" " SIMON:" "Okay, she might have bailed." " Guys, if I'm not home in 30 minutes, my mommy's going to freak." " [door closes]" " See, here she comes." " [footsteps approaching]" " I'm so sorry to keep you here." "I just talked to Ms. Smith, and she won't be coming back." " You fired her?" " No, she left." "She just said she was done." "Now, please, get up." "Your parents are waiting for you outside." " I'm sad Ms. Smith is gone." " Well, then you shouldn't have been misbehaving." "You know what?" "I think the whole class should write her an apology." "You know, get her a flower basket or a fragrance, you know, something that could counterbalance her natural musk." " Alvin, you're the one who should apologize." " Simon, Ms. Smith and I are homies." " Alvin, she was talking to you the whole time, and you kept interrupting." " That?" "That's our back-and-forth banter." "She loves it." " Oh, right, yeah." "That's probably why she begged you to stop before leaving the classroom." " Oh, well, yeah, there is that, yeah." "I see your point." " "I'm sorry I couldn't stand your boring classes."" "Alvin, that--that's not an apology." " Simon, don't judge me yet, okay?" "I'm not done." " Okay, okay, just--you know, just move aside, okay?" " Now, here's how you write a real apology letter." " Simon, do you detect any movement?" " No, nothing yet." " So what if she sees you?" "You--you're just dropping off a note." " Uh, Theodore, if she sees me, she's gonna want to talk to me." "And then, all that hard work Simon did writing my apology letter would go out the window." " Well, you have to see her sometime." " I don't wanna see her until after she reads my letter." "Now cover for me, guys." "If I'm not back by oh eight hundred" " Alvin, this is gonna take 30 seconds, okay?" "This is no big deal." " Simon, there's no dealing what I'll encounter out there." "Just keep an eye out." "[whispering] Here comes Alvin." "He's a secret agent, and he does whatever-  [sighs]" " [whispering] --part of the plan." "If he has a plan." "He's tumbling, and then ta-da!" "Well, I bet Ms. Smith loved my letter--your letter-- and is waiting for us as we speak." " Okay, everyone, if I can have your attention up here," "I'd like to get started." "Hello." " Where's Ms. Smith?" " Okay, class, if you could just settle down, I just--ow!" " [class laughing]" " Okay, that was a good shot." " It's gonna be the best class ever." "This guy's a pushover." " Hey, guys, come on, come on, cut it out." " Ha, don't worry." "I'll hit you later." "Ha-ha, watch this." " Well, hello, children." "My name is Sergeant Daniel Dobkins." "And I am your worst nightmare." " [gasps]" " Did you file my paperwork how I like it?" " Sir, yes, sir." " Good." "I'll see you at home." " Okay, Dad." " Okay what?" " I mean, okay, Sir?" "I meant, okay, Sir." " That's better." "Now get out of here." "Hey, hey, hey, hey." "Don't forget your book." " Uh, oh, Dad." " [class laughing]" " Something funny to you?" " No." " No?" " I mean, no, Sir." " Then why you laughing, Funny Boy?" " I was just--I thought" " You're not here to have thoughts." "You're here to be molded into an upright citizen." "So stand up and give me 20 plies now." " Twenty what?" " Plies." "Oh, please, tell me you all know what a pile is." " Hey, is that like a pushup or something?" " Oh, you lot are hopeless." "A pushup is for pansies." "This is a pile." " You want me to do that?" " I want you and the rest of the class to do that until you can't stand on your tippy toes anymore...now!" "Do it again!" " I can't do anymore." " Do it!" " Oh, oh, oh, I've never worked out this part of my body before." " [whispering] You, like, better get Ms. Smith back ASAP." " I wrote her an apology note, okay?" "She must not have read it." " We need to go back to her house after school." " MR. DOBKINS:" "No talking, ten more!" " [class groaning]" " No groaning!" "Ten more to the ten more!" " [girl mumbling]" " Now!" "Ten." "Do it!" "Eight, seven, six." " Now, don't put me on hold." "Don't put me on hold." " Okay, so it's up to you now." "Say you're sorry for being disrespectful and being a constant disruption." " All right, you know, but then I wouldn't be disrupting if she wasn't boring." " Yeah, uh, don't say that." " You can do this, Alvin." "Come on." " Ms. Smith?" "Ms. Smith, I see you." "Did you get my letter?" " Simon, Theodore, get out of there." " Hey." " [door slams]" " Ms. Smith?" " MS. SMITH:" "Go away, Alvin!" " Go away?" "That's not very neighborly." " MS. SMITH:" "Well, I am not your neighbor." "Now get off my porch." " [chuckles] Not until you talk to me." "Nooooo!" "Put me down!" " Ow, hey, do not squirm, all right?" "I will detain you if I have to." " Uh, but she's my teacher." " She ain't your teacher anymore." "She's just a woman in town." "She's just a little random lady who doesn't like you." "You can't go within a hundred feet of her house." "That's the law." " ♪ I've been missing you ♪" " [indistinct whispering]" " ♪ I've been missing you ♪" "♪ Darling ♪" "♪ Ever since you left, I've been starving ♪" "♪ For you ♪" "♪ Save me ♪" "♪ From the life of blame ♪" "♪ You can call me crazy ♪" "♪ I don't mind at all ♪" "♪ 'Cause every time you leave me ♪" "♪ I just [unintelligible] ♪" "♪ I don't know where I am ♪" "♪ I lose all control ♪" "♪ Missing you ♪" "♪ Just another thing I do ♪" "♪ When I am ♪" "♪ Losing all control ♪" "♪ 'Cause I'm missing you ♪♪" " She's taking private yoga classes?" " Yeah, she's been living a dream ever since she quit teaching us." " I don't think she's coming back, guys." " Yeah, thanks to Alvin." " No, no, no, no, no, I apologized." " Uh, you never apologized." " Yeah, Simon apologized." " You really don't think Ms. Smith knows the difference between your words and Simon's?" " "I'm sorry I get restless when your class goes on and on and on and on about the dumb smart stuff"?" "Alvin, are you out of your mind?" " This is my apology, okay?" "Written my way, all right?" "Besides, I have an extra surprise for her." "Something that involves the whole class." "She's gonna love it." " Yeah, I--I hear you keep saying that." " ♪" " Guys, guys, keep it down." "We only have one chance at this." " [indistinct chatter]" " What?" " [indistinct chatter]" " Guys, guys, come on, pay attention." "When she comes out, we'll sing her the song I wrote, hand her my apology letter, and, bam, all will be forgiven." " Ow, the wax is burning my hand." " Cheesy!" " Ray-Ray, give me your candle." " No way!" " Come on, be professional." "We're starting, we're starting." "Simon, I'm not allowed to go near her door, so would you knock?" " What did I just say to you the other day?" "What'd I just say?" " [gasps] Oh, snap, it's the po-po." "Let's get out of here." " I'm a hundred feet away." "You know, I'm not breaking the rules." " Oh, okay, you're not breaking the rules?" "Oh, okay." "You see, 'cause from where I'm standing, you are causing a major disturbance." " You're causing a disturbance." "[chuckles] I'm just trying to apologize." "Do you hear me, Ms. Smith?" " I don't care what you're doing, okay?" "You're not allowed to be here." "I made that clear." " Ms. Smith!" " Oh." "Hey!" " Ms. Smith, please!" " Attention!" " [gasping]" " What a well-behaved class." " Hi, Bernice, how's it going?" " Hello, Danny." "Should we try this again?" "Who would like to start us off on the book discussion?" " Oh, Alvin." " Did you get my letter?" " Yes, but we're not discussing this now." " But--but you liked it, right?" "I mean, that's why you came back?" " Does anyone have anything to say about the ten-page assignment?" " [laughs] I love this!" "Back where you belong." "You and me are back in action, homies again, doing our thing." " Be quiet, Alvin!" " Yep, yep, I'm on it." "Quiet as a mouse." " No, no, you're not being quiet, that's" " No, no, I am." "Totally quiet." " No, see, my point is, you're not being quiet." " I see what you're saying, Ms. Smith." "Totally get, absolutely." "I'll even explain it to the others." " ALL:" "Alvin!"