"(Boy) Exiting time knot now, sir." "(Man) We are... alive." "We made it, commander." "We made it." "By Grabthar's hammer, we live to tell the tale." "(Computer) 'Systems register functional.'" "All systems are working, Commander." "I don't like it." "It was too easy." "Wait!" "Oh, no." "They're everywhere!" " There are time knots opening everywhere!" " A trap!" "We are surrounded, Commander." " Aaah!" " Oh!" "It's a core meltdown, sir." "It can't be stopped." " Surrender may be our only option." " No!" "Never give up!" "Never surrender!" "Your orders, sir?" "Sir?" "Your orders?" "Activate the Omega 13." "(Applause)" "(Man) Well?" "Huh?" "Well, there you are." "(Cheering)" "Yeah!" "Yeah, that's what I'm talking about!" "You are the first people to see the lost Galaxy Quest episode 92 two-parter... since it was originally aired in 1982!" "Huh?" "Yeah!" "All right." "Now, the moment you've been waiting for." "The intrepid crew... of the NSEA Protector!" "Yeah!" "(Man) Red scarf, black shoes." "Wait." "White scarf, black buttons, white shoes." "Man, where the hell is he?" "An hour and a half late?" " An hour and a half." " I mean, this is unreal." "They're gonna start eating each other out there." "Oh, did you hear?" "He booked another appearance without us." "You're kidding?" "Oh." "Uh... um..." "How did I come to this?" "Not again." " I played Richard III." " Five curtain calls." "Five curtain calls." "I was an actor once, now look at me!" "I can't go out there, and I won't say that stupid line one more time!" "I can't, I won't." "Well, Alex, at least you had a part." "Ok?" "You had a character people loved." "I mean, my TV Guide interview was six paragraphs about my boobs and how they fit into my suit." "No one even bothered to ask me what I DO on the show." "You had the..." "Wait." "Wait, I'll think of it." " I repeated the computer, Fred." " Whew!" "Your commander is on deck!" "Ha ha!" "Wow, that smog is thick today, huh?" "Am I too late for Alexander's panic attack?" "Apparently not." "You should get that looked at." "(Chuckles) Yeah." "(MC outside) Let's see a few more clips." "OK." "What did I do?" "Hmm?" "What?" "(Chanting) We want the crew!" "(MC)...we developed the same affection for the crew as the crew had for each other." "These weren't just adventurers exploring space." "These were friends." " Unbelievable." " You are so full of it, man!" "These guys put a little set in their basement." "I'm there an hour." "It's nothing, Gwen." "They wanted the Commander." " There he goes." " Alexander, wait!" "Grab him!" "(Chanting) We want the crew!" "OK!" "Yeah!" "Here we go!" " Come on, old friend." " Old friend?" "!" "You stole all my best lines, you cut me out of episode two!" "(MC) Tawny Madison, my personal favourite," "Gwen DeMarco!" "Yeah!" "'Lt's getting hotter, Commander.'" "(MC) That's what I'm talkin' about!" "Let's hear a warm welcome for crack gunner Laredo..." "Tommy Webber!" " You will go out there!" " I won't." " And nothing you say will make me." " The show must go on." "(MC)..." "Freddie Kwan!" "Damn you." "Damn you." "I won't say that stupid line one more time." "(MC) Tev'Meck..." "Alexander Dane!" "Yeah!" "All right!" "(Cheering)" "'By Grabthar's Hammer, you shall be avenged!" "'" "(MC) Yeah!" "All right!" "That guy can act." "And finally, my... fellow Questerians, the brave commander of the NSEA Protector," "Peter (Peter, Peter, Peter)..." "Quincy (Quincy, Quincy, Quincy... )" "Taggert (Taggert, Taggert, Taggert)" "Jason Nesmith!" "Yeah!" "(Wild applause)" "(Woman) We love you, Commander!" " Never give up..." " (Audience) Never surrender!" "Damn the resonance cannons, full speed ahead!" "Huh?" "(MC) The Commander and his crew will be signing autographs on imperial decks C and B near the Coke machines." "(Man) Whoo!" "Quest forever, man!" "Excuse me, pardon me, crew member coming through." " Fans, right?" "Hey, Gwen." " Oh, hey, man." "I wanted to thank you for that nice intro you gave us today." "Um..." "Guy." "Probably don't remember me, do you?" "It's the sunglasses." "I was on the show in '82, episode 81." "Got killed by a lava monster before the first commercial." "Listen, uh... maybe I could sit in and, uh, sign some autographs?" "By Grabthar's hammer, by the sons of Warvan, I shall avenge you!" "By Grabthar's..." "Next." "Had I moved an inch to the left, the beast would have killed me." "On the other hand, my crew was in danger." "How did you know what to do?" "Come on!" "Without my crew, I'm not a commander, huh?" "I think we all remember what happened to that beast on Enok Vll." "(Laughter)" "You've gotta admit, they really do love him." "(Scoffs) Yeah, almost as much as he loves himself." "Excuse me, Commander." "Hey!" "I was wondering if you could help settle a dispute that my crew and I seem to be having." "Um, if you remember, uh, in "Quasar Dilemma..."" "Excuse me for a minute, fellas." "What about the relevant conundrum?" "In episode 15, "Mist of Delos V"" "I got the feeling that you and the Commander kind of had a thing." "Did you?" "No." "The Commander and I never had a thing." "Well, that's her story." "Excuse me." "Gwen." "Gwen!" "Gwen!" " Commander." " Excuse me." "I must speak to you." "It is of supreme importance." "We are Thermians from the Klatu nebula and... we... need your help." "Oh, oh, oh." "Is this about that gig tomorrow?" "Just hammer out the details with my agent, and make sure there's a limo at my house." "Last time I did one of these gigs, they shoved me in the back of a Toyota." "Remember, mum's the word." " Certainly, but um..." " Mum." "(All) Mum." "Mum." "Mu-um." "(Photographer) And..." "Beautiful!" "Crewman Madison, the mist of this strange planet is filling my head with such thoughts." "It was cute when I didn't know you." "(Laughter)" "What a freak show, man." "Oh, this is hilarious." "Bunch of losers!" "Beggin' for autographs at 15 bucks a pop." "These guys haven't had a real acting job for 20 years." "This is all they've got." " Dude, did you check out Nesmith?" " Yeah, yeah." "He actually gets off on those retards thinking he's a space commander!" " Oh, and his friends?" " I know, they can't stand him!" "Did you hear them ragging on him in there?" "Dude, you guys know, has no idea he's a laughing stock, even to his buddies." " He's pathetic!" " Oh, come on." " The Galaxy Quest Dancers are on." " Whoo!" "Full speed ahead, Lieutenant." "Hey, Commander, uh, so, as I was saying, uh, in "The Quasar Dilemma", remember, you used the auxiliary deck B..." "Can you get this?" "Deck B for gamma override." "The thing is that online blueprints clearly indicate... that deck B is independent of the guidance matrix." "So we were wondering just where the error lies in that." "It's just a television show." "That's all, OK?" "Heh, right, but..." "We were wondering if the quantum flux..." "There is no quantum flux." "There's no auxiliary." "There's no goddam ship!" "You got it?" "(Murmuring)" "I mean it." "I mean it, Alex." "I've never seen him lose it like that." "Not to a fan." "I mean, it was just weird." "Gwen, I have said it for years." "He's mentally unstable." "(Sighs) I..." "I'm worried." "It just was not like him." "(Fighting on TV)" "(Changes channels)" "'As long as there is injustice, 'whenever a Targathian baby cries out, 'wherever a distress signal sounds among the stars, 'we'll be there, this fine ship, this fine crew.'" " Never give up..." " 'Never give up..." "'Never surrender.'" "(Gentle knocking on window)" "(Knocking continues)" "(Groans)" "Can I help you?" "Sir, I understand this is a terrible breach in protocol, but..." " You shouldn't come here, man." " I beg you to hear our plea." "We are Thermians from the Klatu Nebula." "Our people are being systematically hunted and slaughtered by Sarris of Fatu-Krey." "We have met in negotiation." "However, our efforts have been disastrous." "Please, Commander." "You are our last hope." "(Chuckles)" " We have secured our limousine." " What?" "Oh, oh, oh, oh." "Um, it's the thing for the thing that's, um..." "Ha." "Maybe I should get some pants on." "Come on in." " (Groans)" " Commander," "I must say that standing here in your presence... is the greatest honour we could ever have hoped to achieve in our lifetime." "That's..." "I really appreciate that." "Would you look for another shoe like this?" "(Groans)" "Sir, I am Lahnk, senior requisition officer." "Before we travel to the ship, please let me know if you have any requirements." " Weapons, documents, personnel." " Um, a Coca-Cola, do you have one of those?" "Sir, I am Teb." "I would like to explain the history between our people and the Sarris Dominion in greater detail." "Hey, how ya doin'?" "In the five million years following the Great Nebula Burst, our people were one..." "What's your name?" " Doesn't she talk?" " Her translator is broken." "(Shrieks)" "Okey dokey." "You know, guys, I had a late night with a Kreemorian fangor beast so..." "I'm gonna just shut my eyes for a bit." "Go on." "You know?" "I'm listening to everything you say, OK?" "In the five million years following the Great Nebula Burst, our people were one people." "But then came the Zactor Migration, and then the Melosian Shift and a dark period of discontent spread through the land." "Fighting among Treeb sects and Largoths... ah, the foolishness!" "And it was in this time of dissension that Sarris... (Barks)" " Commander." "Commander?" " Hmm." "I'm sorry to wake you sir, but your presence is requested on the command deck." "Mm." "Sir, Sarris has moved the deadline." "We are approaching his ship at the Ni-delta now." "He wants an answer to his proposal." "I understand you have been briefed." "I got most of it." "Sarris is the bad guy?" "Oh yes, sir." "He's a very bad man indeed." "He has tortured our scientists, put us to work in the gallium arsenide mines, captured our females for his own demented purposes..." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've got the picture." "Do you have pages, or do you just want me to wing this?" "I am not sure I understand you." " Commander, welcome to the Protector II." " Good to see ya." " Would you like to don your uniform?" " You know what?" "I'd like to skip that," "I've got this gig in Van Nuys in about a quarter of an hour." "Is that all right?" " As you wish." " Sir, it's Sarris." "He's here." "General, I have just received word the Thermians have appointed a new commander to handle the negotiations." "What?" "This is great." "You know, usually it's just cardboard walls in a garage." "Sir, we apologise for operating in low-power mode but we are experiencing a... reflective flex field." "You know what I could use?" "A cup holder and a couple of Advil." "We are approaching in five ticks, sir." "Command to slow?" "Set it on screensaver two." "(Chuckles) We, you know... gotta... (Groans) Oh, I'm sorry to break up the mood here." "Um, slow it down to mark two, Lieutenant." "(Sarris) 'I see fear." " 'That is expected.'" " Mm-hm." " 'Ahh, they bring a new commander.'" " It's good." " 'Here are my demands.'" " Scary." "It looks... real." "'And if I do not hear what I like 'then there will be blood and pain as you cannot imagine!" "'" " 'First..'" " Ahh, backwash." "'I require the Omega 13." "'Second, I will require a technician...'" "Okey dokey!" "Let's fire blue particle cannons full, red particle cannons full, gannet magnets, fire them left and right and let 'em run all chutes." "And while you're at it, why don't you toss that at 'em, killer!" "That should take care of old lobster head, shouldn't it?" "(Nervous chuckle)" "Commander, where are you going?" " Home." " You... you mean Earth?" "Yeah, earth." "I need to get back to Earth, kids." "But the negotiations, y-you fired on him." "Yeah, yeah, long live, what was your planet called?" " Thermia." " Long live Thermia." "This way?" "What if Sarris survives?" " Oh, I doubt it." "I gave him both barrels." " He has a very powerful ship." "If you got any more problems with the guy, just, you know, give me a call." "Ow!" " An interstellar vox." " A what?" "Hey." "How can we thank you, Commander?" "You..." "You have saved our people." "Yeah." "OK." "You know, you kids have been great." "You really have." "This thing is real lookin'." "Yoo-hoo." "Hello?" "(Chuckles)" "Hey!" "Where's my limo?" "Huh?" "(Heavy clunk)" " (Slurping)" " Oh!" "(Muffled groans)" "(Machinery whines)" "(Screams)" "(Gwen, on PA) Take it from us, we've been all over the universe." "(Fred) But we've never seen space-age values like we've seen here, at..." "Tech Value Electronic Superstore!" "By Grabthar's hammer... what a savings." "All right!" "Yeah, let's hear it for the NSEA Protector." "...vacuum laser..." " No, you've got it all wrong." " Brandon, are you OK?" " Oh, Commander!" "My apologies." "Evidently, we had a miscommunication regarding... the voyage - you didn't show up." "(Panting)" "(Boy) He..." "He did it again." "Do you know what time it is?" "Why do you even bother to show up at all?" "No, no, not now." "Guys, I was there." "I was up there." "Remember yesterday at the convention?" "Those people dressed like aliens?" "They were aliens." "They were Termites or Dalmatians." "I can't remember because I was kind of hungover." "What they'd built was extraordinary." "It was a huge spaceship." "I got to fight this guy named Sarris and I kicked his ass!" "I know what you're thinking." "But I can prove it." "They gave me this." "No, no, no, no." "But, but, can you talk to people in space on those?" "Protector, this is the Commander, over!" " Oh, for God's sake." " That's it." "It's time to go!" "This isn't mine." "That kid." "Where's that kid?" "Begging your pardon Commander, we come with news." "Sarris lives." "He was able, upon your departure, to make an escape." " Tell them." "However, he wishes to negotiate a surrender." "We humbly implore you to come and negotiate the terms." "Huh?" "You want me back?" "You want me back?" "Is this amazing?" "They want me back and I want you guys to go with me, please!" "Don't even think about it." "Let's go." "Yes?" "You're... you're goin'?" "Alexander, this is not..." "I'm not kidding here." "This isn't some kinda prank." "I'm not kidding." "Guys, guys listen." "Come on." "Gwen, Gwen, Gwen." "Stop, come here." "You know me, I'm a lot of things, but am I crazy?" "You know, it's one thing to treat us this way." "It's another thing to do it to your fans." "She's not a fan!" "This is..." "This is a Termite!" "You should've just let me hit him." "Boy, I didn't know you could get that loaded." "I think we should've just taken the gig." "Who knows the next time he'll ask us?" "Fred, he was drunk." "Do you really think he was talking about a job?" "Did Jason come through here?" "Yeah, he... he's in there." "Hey, guys." "Ah." "We are coming, too." " All of you wish to go to the ship?" " Yes, we wish to go to the ship." "You see, we work together, or not at all." "Wonderful." "The Commander had me continue transmission in case you changed your mind." " Protector, requesting four interstellar..." " Oh!" "Me, too." "Five pods for immediate departure." "(Deep humming)" "Guys." "Guys?" "I look forward to meeting you all in person when you arrive at the ship." "End transmission." " (Slurping)" " Oh, my God." " (Zap)" " Anybody got any change?" "Oh!" "(Distant shrieking)" "(Shrieking)" "(lnstruments whirring)" "Our most sincere apologies." "We forgot about our appearance generators." "You guys came!" "Who wants the grand tour?" " (Screaming stops)" " Anybody else?" "That was a hell of a thing." " What's wrong with them?" " I don't know." "Come on." "That's right, just keep shaking it off." "It gets better." " Hey, try some gum." "It helps." " Where are we?" "The 23rd quadrant of the gamma sector." "There's a map in the forward room." "I'll show you, come on." " Welcome, my friends!" " This is Mathesar, their leader." "I am Mathesar." "On behalf of all my people I wish to thank you from the deepest place in our hearts." "Mathesar, this is, uh, my crew." "Dr Lazarus." "(Crew whispering) Dr Lazarus." "Dr Lazarus." "Lieutenant Madison." "(Whispering) Lieutenant Madison." "Young Laredo, how you've grown." "(All) Young Laredo." "Tech Sergeant Chen." "(Crew whispering) Tech Sergeant Chen." "C-Crew man number si..." "Guy." "(All) Guy." "You... know us?" "(All chuckle)" "I don't believe there is a man, woman or child on my planet who does not." "In the years since we first received transmission of your historical documents we have studied every facet of your missions and strategies." "You've been watching the show?" " Lieutenant, historical documents." " Historical documents from out here?" "Yes." "The past hundred years our society had fallen into disarray." "Our goals and values had become scattered." "But we have modelled every aspect of our society from your example, and it has saved us." "Your courage and teamwork and friendship through adversity." "In fact, all you see around you has been taken from the lessons garnered from the historical documents." "Is this a... a spaceship?" "No, this is a starport for the ship." "Would you guys like to see the ship?" "(Door whooshes)" "(Clunking and whirring)" "(Alexander) Oh, my God!" "It's real." "(Mathesar) The generator room." "The beryllium sphere, of course." "And as we continue..." "The medical quarters are to the left." "We went to some trouble duplicating your cellular regeneration system..." " Jason, what have you gotten us into?" " Wow, the floors are so clean." "We're just here to negotiate this guy Sarris' surrender." "No big deal." "...and the organ fabrication chamber is coming along nicely." "No big deal?" "Are you crazy?" "We have to get out of here." " Oh, come on, guys." " Jason, we're actors, not astronauts." "You guys wanna go home?" "Say the word we'll go home - pay our bills, feed our fish, fall asleep in front of the TV and miss out on all of this." "Come on, you guys wanna do that?" "Anybody?" "Gwen, come on, think about it." "Look at where we are." "We're in space." "Alexander, this is the role of a lifetime." "You guys wanna leave?" "(Mathesar) We have prepared many of your esoteric dishes." "Your Monte Cristo sandwich is a current favourite here." "The main barracks." "(Drum roll)" "At ease." "It's like throwing gasoline on a flame." "What?" "I'm just jazzed about being on the show, man." "(Mathesar) If you would take your positions." "(Gwen) Our what?" "Guys." "(All) Oh." "Hmm." "(Tommy) Look, this thingy." "I remember..." "I had it all worked out." "This is forward." "This is back." "(Humming)" "Commander, some the crew has requested to be present at this historic event." "Sure." "Bring 'em in." "(Shrieks)" "(Chuckles) No pressure, huh?" "I'm glad I ain't the Commander." "Laredo, take us out." " Excuse me?" " (Chuckles)" "They designed those controls after watching you." " Take her out. (Clears throat)" " Right, right." "OK." "Right." "Right." "Take her out." "(Clunking and humming)" "(Engines rumble)" "(Beeps)" "(Engine hum rises)" "OK." "Move more to the right." "Would you sit your ass down?" "Move!" "You wanna drive?" "(Metal scraping)" "(Chuckles nervously)" "(Metal scraping)" "(Scraping stops)" "(Cheering)" "(Jason) Oh." "Mmm." "How are you enjoying your steak, Commander?" "I'm really enjoying it." "This is like corn-fed Iowa beef." "Yes, we programmed the food synthesiser for each of you based on the regional menu of your birthplace." "(Jason) I don't care, it tastes great." "Are you enjoying your Kep-mok bloodticks, Dr Lazarus?" "Just like Mother used to make." "(Alexander) So, um... tell me, Mathesar, this Sarris person we're flying to meet." "What does he want?" " (Gagging)" "He heard about the device..." "the Omega 13." "Um, what is it?" "What does it do?" "We don't know." "We were hoping you could enlighten us." "(Nervous chuckle)" "Oh." "The Omega 13 device." "We found that on an alien planet." "We don't know what it does either." "Well, why don't you just turn it on and see what it does?" " (Shrieks) - (Laughs)" "It has at its heart a reactor capable of unthinkable energy." "If we were mistaken in our construction, the device would act as a molecular explosive causing a chain reaction that would obliterate all matter in the universe." "Has Sarris seen any of the..." "historical records?" "No, thank God, he has not." "Oh." "So how does he know about the Omega 13 device?" "Our former commander was not... strong." "Former commander?" "I am sorry." "You deserve to be shown." "The tape was smuggled off of Sarris' ship." "Originally, one of our own tried to lead." "(Sarris) 'ls that all?" "'After three days of this, you still require... incentive?" "'" " (Shrieking) - (Electricity buzzing)" "(Thermian) 'I have told you all I know." "If you have any mercy in you, please, let me die.'" "(Sarris) 'When I grow weary of the noises you make you shall... die.'" "(Electricity crackles)" "Hey guys, come on." "Hold on a minute." "You just can't leave." "Give me some time to think." "Think." "He wants to think!" "No Jason, that's a wrap." "There's nothing to think about!" "I'm not even supposed to be here." "I'm just Crewman #6, I'm expendable." "I'm the guy in the episode who dies to prove that the situation is serious." "I've gotta get out of here." "Commander?" "We've gotta prepare the pods for my crew's departure." "Begging your Commander's pardon, sir, but we cannot launch pods at the moment." "Sarris will surely detonate any objects leaving the ship." " Sarris?" " Yes, sir." "He's here now." "Your presence is required on the command deck." "There's nobody here." "While my people are talented scientists, our attempts to operate own technologies under tactical simulation have been disastrous." "I have raised Sarris on zeta frequency." " Mathesar..." " 'We meet again, Commander.'" "Hello, Sarris." "How you doin'?" "'Better than my lieutenant." "'He failed to activate the ship's neutron armour 'as quickly as I'd hoped on our last encounter.'" "Yeah well, you know, I'd like to say I'm real sorry about what happened before." "The whole thing was just a..." "just a misunderstanding." "'Deliver the device to me, or I will destroy your ship!" "'" "You know, um, we'd like do that, but frankly, Sarris, sir, we don't know what it is or even where it is." "'You have 10 seconds!" "'" "(Jason) I don't... 10 seconds?" "You know..." "OK." "Gosh darn it, I give up." "It's yours." "Give me a minute to put it in a box for you, OK?" "Gwen. (Clicks tongue)" "Don't panic." "I've dealt with this guy before." "He's as stupid as he is ugly." "Come here!" " Jason." " Not now, Gwen." "Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit." "We're gonna send everything we can at him, all right?" " Jason." " Not now, Gwen!" "Push these red buttons and send everything we have towards him, OK?" " OK." " All right, Gwen, put me back on." "Well, I'm trying to tell you, you ARE back on." "'Perhaps I'm not as stupid as I am ugly, Commander!" "'" "I gave you the..."kill" gesture." "No, you gave me the "we're dead" signal." "I was agreeing with you." "(Guy) Hey, you guys." "There's a red, uh, thingy..." " movin' towards the green thingy." " What?" "Red thingy moving towards the green thingy..." "I think..." "I think we're the green thingy." "'A little present for you, Commander.'" "We've gotta get out of here." "Move the ship." "Turn it." "Move!" "Let's go!" "(Gwen screams)" "(Explosion)" "(Explosions and screaming)" " Tommy, get us out of here!" " What do I do?" "!" "Go, go, go!" "(All shout)" "Whoo!" "They're turning." "They're coming!" "Thrust ahead, full!" "(Sarris) Fire at will." " (Explosions)" " Go faster, Tommy!" " I'm going as fast as I can, Jason!" " She's still behind us!" "I always say "Press the turbo," right?" " It's right here!" " Press it and hold it down!" "(Explosion)" " (Engines roar)" " Whoo!" "(Computer) 'The enemy is matching velocity.'" " The enemy is matching velocity!" " We heard the first time!" "Gosh, I'm doing it." "I'm repeating the computer." "(Deadpan) 'Hi, guys." "Listen, they're tellin' me... 'the, uh..." "the generators won't take it." "'The ship is breakin' apart and all that." "Just FYI.'" " We've gotta stop!" " We stop and we die." "Tommy, hold on!" " Turbo's only for quick boosts!" " Oh, like you know!" "(Engines sputter)" "(Alarm)" "I remember that sound." "That's a bad sound." "Wait, wait!" "We might be able to lose them in... in this cloud here." " Uh, I..." "I don't think that's a cloud." " Mathesar, what is it?" "This is the Tothian minefield, left standing from the war of 12185." "Oh, God!" "Whoo!" "(Moaning and whimpering)" "(Explosion)" "Could you possibly try NOT to hit every single one?" "Sorry, man, they're drifting toward us..." "I think they're magnetic!" "(Clunk)" "Continue forward, sir?" "Patience, Lieutenant." "Patience." " We've gotta stop!" " We're almost through this." "(Engines splutters and dies)" " You OK?" "You all right?" " Yeah." "Everybody all right?" "Where's Tommy?" " (Screaming) Oh, man!" " Tommy!" "You all right?" "No, my arm is broke..." "Don't touch it!" "Don't touch it!" " I'll take him to Medical quarters." " Thanks, Mathesar." "(Tommy screams)" "Alex, where are you going?" "To see if there's a pub!" "(Computer) 'Forward thruster shaft, 87% damage." "'Aft vector guards, 96% damage." "'Structural breaches in quadrants 32, 34, 40...'" " What about the engines?" " 'Forward thruster shaft, 87% damage.'" "Computer, what about the engines?" "Why don't we have power?" "'The beryllium sphere has fractured under stress.'" " It's fractured." " Can it be repaired?" " Computer, can it be repaired?" " 'Damage to beryllium sphere irreparable." " 'New source of beryllium must be secured.'" " We need another one." "You broke the ship." "You broke the bloody ship!" "Eh, ah..." "Ahem." "Computer, is there a replacement beryllium sphere on board?" "Computer, is there a replacement beryllium sphere on board?" "'Negative." "No reserve beryllium sphere exists on board.'" "No, we have no extra beryllium sphere on board." "You know, that is really getting annoying!" "Look, I have one job on this lousy ship." "It's stupid, but I'm gonna do it, OK?" "Sure, no problem." "A thousand apologies." "We have failed you." "(Chuckles) How have you failed us?" "We have seen you victorious in much more desperate situations." "The fault must lie with us, with the ship." "No, it is not your fault, and it's not the ship's fault." "It-it's my fault." "W-we screwed..." "We are not the people you think we are." "I don't understand." "Didn't you make any TV shows on your planet?" "Any theatre?" "Films?" "The historical documents of your culture." "Yes, in fact, we have begun to document our history from your example." "No, not historical documents." "They're not all historical documents." "I mean, surely you don't think that Gilligan's Island is a..." " (Moaning)" " Those poor people." "(Tommy) Oh, brother." "We're screwed." "Is there no one on your planet who behaves in a way... that's contrary to reality?" "Ahh!" "You are speaking of..." " Deception, lies." " Deception, lies." "We have only recently become aware of this concept in our dealings with Sarris." "Often, Sarris will say one thing and do another." "Promise us mercy, but deliver destruction." "It is a concept we are beginning to learn at some great cost." "But if you are saying that any of you could have traits in common with Sarris... (Laughs)" "(Laughs weakly)" "(lntercom beeps)" "'Hey, Commander, listen." "We found some beryllium on a nearby planet." "'And we might be able to get there 'if we reconfigure the solar matrix in parallel for endothermic propulsion." "'What do you think?" "'" " We'll do that!" " All right!" "Th-that's right again." "That's..." "C-Come on, group hug." "Come on." "Dr Lazarus, I hope I am not breaching protocol, but I am so very humbled to stand in your presence." "I have studied your missions extensively." "Though I am Thermian, I have lived my life by your philosophy, by the code of the Mak'tar." " Oh, good, that's very nice." " By Grabthar's hammer, Dr L..." " Don't!" "I'm not kidding." " I'm sorry, sir, I was only..." "Just don't." "Yes, sir." "Never give up, never surrender." "Dr Lazarus?" "Here is your surface mapper." "I have programmed it to the co-ordinates of a beryllium sphere of sufficient density." "Good luck on your mission, sir." "Thanks." "You're doing good, Tommy." "I changed my mind." "I wanna go back." "After the fuss you made about getting left behind?" "Yeah, but that was when I thought I was the crewman that stays on the ship and something is up there and it kills me." "But now I'm thinking I'm the guy who gets killed by some monster five minutes after we land on the planet." " You're not gonna die on the planet, Guy." " I'm not?" "Then what's my last name?" "It's, uhm, uh, uh..." "I don't know." "Nobody knows!" "Do you know why?" "Because my character isn't important enough for a last name." "Because I'm gonna die five minutes in." "Guy, you have a last name." " Do I?" "!" "Do I?" "!" " Yes!" "For all you know, I'm just crewman number six." "Mommy!" "Mommy!" "Mommy!" "Are we there yet?" "(Guy) Mommy!" "(Jason) Tommy!" "(Gwen) Look out!" "Oh, no!" "(Alexander) Pull out!" "(Fred) Oh, yeah!" "Oh, boy!" "Yeah!" "(Guy) Hey, don't open that!" "It's an alien planet!" "Is there air?" "You don't know!" "Seems OK." "Here we go." "(Jason) Which way, Alexander?" "(Beeping)" "This way!" "Wait." "No." " That way." " You were holding it upside down." "Shut up." "You know, with all that makeup and stuff," "I actually thought you were smart for a second." "You could do better, Laredo?" "(Tommy) Stop that Laredo stuff." "(Guy) Oh, we're screwed." "We're so screwed." "(Jason) Come on, come on, come on." "If we wanna finish this mission, we have to use some self control." "(Gwen) Self control?" "That's funny from a guy who slept with every Terrakian slave girl" "AND moon princess on the show." "(Jason) Ever occured to you, had you been more supportive... (Alexander) Wow." "Must be some sort of mining facility." "Where are the miners?" "Something bad happened here." "Will you relax?" "There they are." "Beryllium spheres." "Let's go." "(Gasps)" "(Alien chattering)" "Look at that." "Would you look at that?" "They look like little children." "Could they be the miners?" "Sure, they're like, three years old." "Miners, not minors!" " You lost me." " I don't like this." " I don't like this at all." " They are so cute." "Sure, they're cute now, but in a second, they're gonna get mean." "And they're gonna get ugly somehow, and then there's gonna be a million more of 'em." "(Gasping) Look." "There's a little hurt one." "(Whimpers)" "Aw." "(Whimpering continues)" "Hi." "Hi there." " Ah!" " Shh!" "Did you guys ever WATCH the show?" "See?" "They're gonna help the little hurt one." "(Whispering)" "I'm so sick of being right." "Let's get out of here before one of those things kills Guy." "Wait a minute." "We're not going anywhere without a beryllium sphere." "We need a plan." "Fred, I need a diversion to clear the compound of those things." "Then, Alex, Gwen and I will go get that sphere." "Tommy, go up on that ridge and if you see them come back give a signal, all right?" " Why is this so familiar?" " "Assault on Voltareck III", episode 81." " We're doing episode 81?" " What ever, the one with the hologram." "Well, how the hell is Fred supposed to project a hologram?" " Are we doing episode 81 now?" " It's just a rough plan, Guy." "What difference does it make if it's episode 81 or not?" "Cos I died in episode 81!" " Shh!" "Episode 51, right?" " This is ludicrous." "Why are you listening to this fellow?" "May I remind you, he's wearing a costume, not a uniform." "He's no more equipped to lead us than this fellow." "No offence." "Look, they're gone." " Where'd they go, back inside?" " I don't know." "Nobody was watching?" "!" "All right, all right." "Listen up, here's the plan." "Gwen, Fred, Alex and I will go and get a sphere." "Fleegman, you set up a perimeter and Tommy, you're lookout." " You see anything, give us a signal." " What kind of a signal?" " Any kind of signal." " OK, I'll do my hands like this." "Coo!" "Coo!" "What are you, an infant?" "!" "Look, we have these." "That..." "Sorry." "Let's go." "(Grunting)" " Does the rolling help?" " Uh-huh, it helps." " Where's your gun?" " It helps." " Oh." " What?" "Ha ha, never give up, never surrender." "(Others) Oh, shut up." "Caw, caw!" "Jason!" "They're coming!" "There's thousands of 'em, Jason!" "Run, Jason!" "Run!" "Run!" "They're everywhere, they're everywhere!" "Everywhere!" "Come on, let's go!" " (All shouting)" " Hurry!" "(Guy) They're everywhere!" "Come on!" "(Jason) Don't look back." "Do not look back!" "(Guy) We're not gonna make it!" "(Guy) I knew it, I knew it!" "I knew this was gonna kill me!" "(Jason) Come on!" "Push!" "Let's go, Tommy!" "It's gonna take a few seconds." "I got it, I got it!" " Go ahead." " There's no time." "Get in!" "You've got to be the hero, haven't you?" "Heaven forbid anybody else gets the spotlight!" "Jason!" "Jason, come on!" "(Gwen) Hurry!" "(Jason) Tommy, go!" "Go!" "I'm in!" "No, no, no, no!" "Jason, please!" " Tommy, stop the pod." "Stop it!" " But I can't stop it, it's on autopilot!" "(Guy) Go, leave him!" "(Gwen) No!" "(Screeching)" "Oh, right!" "Of course, it's always about you, isn't it?" "(Snorting)" "Ugh!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Ugh!" " (Growls)" " Oh... (Aliens chanting)" "Gorignak!" "Gorignak!" "Gorignak!" "Gorignak!" "Jason?" "Jason, can you hear me?" "'Yeah, Gwen, you got me.'" " Thank God." "Are you OK?" " 'Yeah.'" "Gorignak's staring me in the face right now." "'But you know what?" "I think I can take him.'" "(All) Oh." "Jason, we're gonna use the digital conveyor to get you out of there." " The digital conveyor?" " 'Yes.'" "You mean I'm gonna be diced into cubes and sent up there in a million pieces?" " Right." " 'Well, you know what?" "'I think I'll take my chances with Gorignak.'" "(Gwen) 'We're getting you out right now." "It's perfectly safe, isn't it, Teb?" "'" "It has never been successfully tested." " 'What did he say?" "'" " Hold, please." "Theoretically, the mechanism is fully operational." "However, it was built to accomodate your, hm... anatomy, not ours." "But now that Tech Sergeant Chen is here, he can operate it." "It was designed watching his motions from the historical documents." "I-I-I mean, I can't." "I-I can supervise..." "Listen, we're gonna test it." " On what?" " How about that pig lizard?" " 'I'm doing OK with the pig lizard.'" " Please, Fred?" "And hurry." "(Nervous laugh)" "I'm sorry." "It's very exciting to watch the master at the controls." "The conveyor is much more..." "hm... art than science." "Stand back, Jason." "(Aliens chanting) Gorignak, Gorignak, Gorignak... (Growls)" "(Zap)" "Oh!" "(Screams and groans)" " 'What was that?" "'" " Uh..." " Nothing." " 'I heard squealing.'" " Everything's fine." " But the animal is inside out." "I heard that." "It turned inside out?" "And it exploded." "Did I just hear that the animal turned inside out and then it exploded?" "'Hello?" "'" "Hold, please." "'Hey, wait a minute, guys...'" "The pig lizard is gone." "Why are they still yelling "Gorignak"?" "Teb, hit the translation circuit." "(Aliens chanting) 'Gorignak..." "Rock.'" "Rock, rock, rock, rock!" "(All) Oh!" "Jason, I don't think the pig lizard was Gorignak." "What the hell you talkin' about?" "Oh, darn." "(Sighs) Oh." "'Digitise me!" "'" " Come on, Fred." " 'Come on guys, digitise me!" "'" " Not me." " They based it on your hand movements." "Am I the only one who saw that thing inside out?" "I'm not Tech Sergeant Chen." "Kwan's not even my real name." "Jason, you'll have to kill it." "Kill it?" "Well, I'm open to any suggestions." "Go for the eyes, like episode 22!" "It doesn't have any eyes, Tommy." "Go for its mouth, its throat, its vulnerable spots!" "It's a rock." "It doesn't have any vulnerable spots!" "I know!" "You construct a weapon." "Look around you." " Can you form some sort of rudimentary lathe?" " A lathe?" "!" "Get off the line!" "Alexander, you're my advisor." "Advise me!" "Well, just figure out what it wants." "What is its motivation?" "It's a rock monster." "It doesn't have motivation." "See?" "There's your problem, Jason." "You were never serious about the craft." "Oh!" "Fred, can you hear me?" "!" "Fred, are you there?" "(Screams)" " Kinda." " 'You can do it, Fred." "It's up to you!" "'" "Oh, no, no, no." "Jason, I'll just..." "I'll just mess it up." " You did it for years on the show, do it now!" " That was the show." "I'm not that guy." "Fred, you never forgot a line." "You never missed a mark!" "Oh!" "That's not me any more, man." "It is you, Fred." "You just stopped trying." "You can do this, Fred." "I know in my heart, you're gonna save my life." " I am?" " 'No doubt about it, Fred." "'Fred!" "'Fred, can you hear me?" "'" "'Fred!" "'" "Fred?" "I don't wanna die down here." "Digitise me, Fred!" "(Zap)" "Oh, wow." " Tech Sergeant Chen." " Yeah!" "(Gwen and Jason kiss)" "I see you managed to get your shirt off." " I did it." " Welcome back, Fred." "All right." "Did we get the beryllium sphere installed?" " Yes, we are back to full power." " Great." "Engines and pods?" " Fully operational." " Perfect!" "We'll crank this sucker up." "You can drop us off, and you guys can be back to your home planet before supper." "Oh no, sir." "We have no reason to go back." "Sure you do." "Family, friends, come on..." "We are all that is left." " I didn't know that." " Sir, I have raised the command deck." "Mathesar, meet us up on the command deck." "Mathesar." "Mathesar!" "Quellek!" "Why can't we reach them?" "(Footsteps)" "(Growls)" "(Mathesar) Commander." "Thank God, you're alive." "Now you will face justice, Sarris." "At every turn, you demonstrate the necessity for your extermination!" "Leave him alone." "You wish to save the life of this man?" "Yeah." "Yes." "Then tell me - what does it do, this Omega 13?" "I don't know what it does." "I said, I don't know!" " Is it a bomb?" " I don't know." " A booby trap?" " I don't know!" " Tell me!" " I don't know!" "Do you think I'm a fool?" "!" "That the Commander does not know every bolt, every weld in his ship?" "!" "(Groans)" "Prepare a tear harness... for the female." "(Jason) No!" "Gwen, no!" "You brute!" "Let go of me!" " (Groaning) I'm not the Commander." " What did you say?" "I said, I'm not the Commander." "Leave them." "There's no reason to hurt them." " They don't know anything." " Explain." "Gwen, show him the historical documents." "(Sighs) Computer, show the historical documents of the Galaxy Quest missions." "(Galaxy Quest theme)" "(Chuckles)" "Wonderful." "You have all done far greater damage than I ever could have." "Bravo!" "(Laughs) Bravo." "This is a moment I will treasure." "Explain to him... who you all really are." "Tell him!" "Explain!" "Mathesar, the..." "There's no such person as Captain Taggert." "My name is Jason Nesmith." "I am... an actor." "We're all actors." "He doesn't understand." "Explain, as you would a child." "We, uh... we pretended." "We lied." "(Moans)" "Yes!" "You understand that, don't you, Mathesar?" "Mathesar, I..." "I'm not a commander." "I..." "There's no National Space Exploration Administration." "We don't have any ship." "But there it is." "That ship is that big." "But inside, I see many rooms." "You've seen plywood sets that look like the inside." "Our beryllium sphere is-is wire with plaster around it." "And our... (Chuckles)" "Our digital conveyor is..." "Christmas tree lights." "It's a decoration." "It's all fake." "Just like me." "(Whispers) But why?" "It's difficult to explain." "On our planet, we... we pretend to... to entertain and..." "Mathesar, I am so sorry." "God, I am so sorry." "(Gagging)" "(Sarris) So now you know." "Lieutenant Lathe, hardwire the reactor core to overload." "I would like to blow this troublesome vehicle to dust." "Sarris, what about my people?" "Yes, far too simple a death for them, isn't it?" "Lathe, open an oxygen seal on level C." "Let the air in a bit for our friends." "Son of a..." "Uh!" "Release them... into space." "(Computer) 'Core overload." "Emergency shutdown overridden." "'Core implosion estimated in nine minutes." "'Core overload." "Emergency shutdown overridden.'" "Hey!" "(Alexander) Where's the happy ending, Jason?" ""Never give up, never surrender."" "Maybe it's about time you just backed off, you fin-headed monstrosity." "(Gwen) Jason?" "You what?" "You're starting to act like you did in episode 17, you scene-stealing hack." "Oh, right!" "Well, how does it feel, Jason?" "Was it worth it?" "You've murdered us all!" " Shut up." " Hundreds to die because of you!" " Shut up!" " (Sarris) Get in there." "Just because you wanna play at being commander, you lunatic." "Then I'll see you in hell." "Look out, Jason!" "Get his gun!" "Get the gun!" "(Guy) Take that!" "(Screaming)" "Sorry, I was..." "The door's a little sticky." "I'll get someone up here with a can of WD-30." "(All laugh)" " You used to pull your punches." " You scene-stealing hack?" "Thank you." " Raving egomaniac?" " Can't think of where I got that from." "Hey, guys..." "Look." "(Gwen) They're suffocating." "(Computer) 'Core overload." "Emergency shutdown overridden." "'Core implosion estimated in eight minutes.'" "General, your transport is ready for departure!" "(Computer) 'Core overload." "Emergency shutdown overridden." "'Core implosion estimated in seven minutes.'" " Computer, shut down the core." " 'Unable.'" "'Memory checksum invalid." "Core system's hardware damaged.'" "All right, all right." "Listen up, this is what we gotta do." "Gwen, you and I, we're gonna to get to the core and shut it down manually." "Fred, take Guy and Laliari." "You find that valve." "Shut it off before those Thermians run out of air." "Alexander, get to the barracks." "See if you can wedge a door open in case they can't do that." "Wait, Jason, what about me?" "What do I do?" "You're gonna practise driving." "Let's go!" "Practise driving." "(Gwen) So we get to shut down a neutron reactor?" "Well, I hate to break it to you, Jason, but I don't know how to shut down a neutron reactor, and unless you took a learning annex course I don't know about, I'm pretty sure" "you don't know how to shut down a neutron reactor either." "No, I don't, but I know someone who does." "Brandon, honey, the garbage." "Oh, Mother, I'm quite busy." "(Mother) Come on Brandon, don't make me ask again." "Just 10 more minutes, OK, Ma?" "I promise." "(Beep)" "(Beep)" "(Jason) 'Hello?" "Anybody there?" "'Hello?" "'" "Hello?" "Got him." "Listen to me." "This is Jason Nesmith." "'I play Commander Peter Quincy Taggert, NSEA Protector.'" "We accidentally traded boxes the other day." "Oh?" "Oh." "Commander, I see." "OK." "'What's your name, son?" "'" "Brandon." "I remember you from the convention, right?" "You asked all those technical questions about the ship and I was a little short with you." "Yes, yes, I know, Commander, and I actually wanna..." "I just wanted to tell you that I..." "I thought alot about what you said..." " It's OK." "Now, listen." " But I want you to know..." "I'm not a complete brain case, OK?" "I understand completely that it's just a TV show." " H-Hold..." "Wait." "Stop." "Wait." " (Brandon continues)" "It's all real." "Oh, my God, I knew it." "I knew it!" "I knew it!" "The crew and I are in trouble and we need your help." "(Computer) 'Core overload." "Emergency shutdown overridden." "'Core implosion estimated in six minutes." " (Shriek) - (Screams)" "Sir, it's you." "Thank lpthar." "Quellek?" "What are you doing up there?" "I avoided capture by using your Mak'tar stealth face." " Where is everyone?" " Come with me." "I'll explain on the way." "All right, we're at level C, hallway five." "Now what?" "Um, go to weapons storage, your second left, through the passage." "That leads to a system of utility corridors through the bowels of the ship." " Open." " 'You know, I'm gonna get Kyle.'" "He knows the utility tunnels system better than anyone else alive." "...38, 39, 40." "All we have to do is turn off the valve to the barracks." " 'Hi, Brandon.'" " No time for pleasantries, Kyle." "We have a level five emergency." "You've still got the utility system walk-through, right?" "Yeah, I've got sectors one to 28." "Hollister has the other levels." "'Get everybody online.'" " 'Pedal to the metal, Commander.'" " Pedal to the metal, Commander." "General!" "I have just received word that the commander of the Protector and his command crew have escaped custody." " What?" " (Splat)" " Find them!" " But sir!" "My men..." "The core implosion is..." "FIND THEM!" "All right, Brandon, I see five ducts in this room." "Which way do we go?" "Enter the passage second to your left, and just continue straight for 50 metres." "Ducts?" "Why is it always ducts?" "(Brandon) 'Uhm, there will be a slight drop.'" "Whoa!" "Uh!" "Thanks for the heads-up, Brandon!" "You OK?" "(Quellek) They're dying." "Wait a moment, we've gotta go across this thing?" "Yes." "Don't look down." "'Commander, what I'd give to see what you're seeing.'" " What?" " You're deep in the Omega 13!" "'Oh, it must be spectacular.'" "It doesn't look like much to me." "There's just these few walls and this dumb spinning fan that's in every single..." "(Jason) Brandon, what does the Omega 13 device do?" "'Uhm, many have believed that it is a matter-collapser." "'A bomb capable of destroying pretty much everything in about 13 seconds." "'But myself and others are convinced that what it is, is a matter rearranger, 'affecting a 13-second time jump to the past.'" "Why 13 seconds?" "That's really not enough time to do anything of importance." " It'd be time to redeem a single mistake." " What?" "We've gotta turn off that valve." "Their oxygen's almost gone." "Listen, I'll go in." "I'll create a distraction." "I've got this." "I'm OK." "I might be able to hold 'em back long enough for the aliens to escape." " That's suicide." " I'm just a glorified extra, Fred." "I'm a dead man anyway." "If I'm gonna die, I'd rather die a hero than a coward." "Guy, Guy, maybe you're the plucky comic relief." "You ever think about that?" "Plucky?" "Oh, besides, I just had this really interesting idea." "Are you stoned?" "Gotta get them open and give them some time." "Sir, perhaps together... the Mak'tar chant of strength, Larak tarath." " Larak tarath, larak tarath." " Larak tarath." "(Both) Larak tarath, larak tarath, larak tarath!" "(Air hisses)" "All right, Brandon, we're across." "Now what?" "You wanna take a left and then just straight on through the chompers." ""The chompers"?" " Well, screw that." " How are we supposed to get through this?" "!" " Hollister, do you have the sequence yet?" " OK, the sequence is... two-two-four-two..." "What is this thing?" "I mean, it serves no useful purpose for there to be a bunch of chompy, crushy things in the middle of a hallway!" "You know, I think we shouldn't have to do this." "It makes no logical sense." "Why is it here?" "!" " Cos it's on the television show!" " Well, forget it!" "I am not doing it!" "This episode was badly written!" "OK, Commander." "Now, as soon as the first crusher hits you..." "It just did." " OK, go now." " Go!" "(Brandon) 'Go!" "'Stop!" "'Go-o!" "'" "Come on, come on, come on." "'Go!" "'Go!" "'Go!" "'Go!" "No, stop!" "Stop!" "'Go!" " 'Stop!" "' - (Gwen screams)" "'Jump, Commander, jump!" "'" "Whoever wrote this episode should DIE!" "This should be interesting." "(Beeping)" "(Zap)" "(Rumbling)" "(Screaming)" "It's the simple things you treasure." "That's great." "Now... we better get..." "Hey, get a room, guys." "Whoa!" "(Guy) Hey, Fred..." "Hey, Fred, uh..." "Oh, that's not right." "Oh!" "Sir, the pressure - it's normalising." "All right!" "We are saved." "He has saved us." "Commander Taggert has saved us!" "(Cheering)" "It's just not fair." "All right, Quellek, let's get back to the Commander." "(Laser blast)" "I'm..." "I'm shot." "(Thermian groaning)" "Quellek?" "It's not too bad." "We'll get you to the medical quarters and you'll be fine." "It has been my greatest honour to serve with you." "I have been blessed, sir." "I..." "I..." "Don't speak, Quellek." "You'll forgive my impertinence, sir, but even though we had never before met," "I always considered you as a father to me." "Quellek..." "By Grabthar's hammer, by the sons of Warvan, you shall be... avenged." "...13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19!" "All right, Brandon, hear." "How do I shut this thing down?" "'OK, just push the blue button'" " The blue button, is that it?" " Yeah, why, what's wrong?" "Nothing, I just thought it'd be more complicated than that." "(Computer) 'Core implosion estimated in 20 seconds.'" "Brandon, it's not working." "Brandon!" "Mother, I cannot stress enough the severity" " of the Commander's predicament." " And the recyclables!" "(Computer) 'Core implosion estimated in 10 seconds." " 'Nine, eight,'" " Gwen, I..." " 'seven, six,'" " I always..." " 'five, four,'" " Jason, oh, Jason." "'Three, two, one.'" "(Silence)" "Oh, it always stops at one on the show." " (Laughs)" " What were you saying?" " Sir!" " What?" "The core detonation sequence on the Protector has been aborted." "Impossible!" "Impossible!" "Lock a complement of implosion missiles onto the Protector." "Tear her apart!" "(Lasers firing)" "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" "He's finished." "He's finished." "Alexander, listen to me." "It's OK, it's OK." "The Thermians can handle it from here." "(Screaming)" "All right, we need that armour back up!" " Get me a forward view right now!" " Plasma armour engaged." "All right, Tommy, see if you can lose 'em in that minefield." " Minefield?" " Pedal to the metal, right now!" " Pedal to the metal!" " All right, let's go!" "Good going, Tommy." "Great going." "Thrust ahead... full!" "Into the field!" "Go!" "(Jason) Tommy, can you get us closer to these mines?" "Closer?" "I could try." "General, I've lost them." "The magnetism of the minefield is disrupting our instruments." "Wait!" "I see something." "Yes." "Yes!" "There they are." " Get back on their tail." " I can't, sir." " What?" "Why not?" " Because they're coming right at us." "Fire at will." "Whoo!" "We're getting hammered, Jason!" "Return fire?" "No!" "Divert all energy to the armour!" "'How adorable!" "'The actors are going to play war with me.'" "Sarris' ship is accelerating toward us at mark two." "Accelerate to mark four." "Let me remind you, sonny," "I am a general." "If you are counting on me to blink, then you are making a deadly mistake." "Well let me tell you something, Sarris." "It doesn't take a great actor to recognise a bad one." "You're sweating!" "Armour almost gone, Jason!" "You fool!" "You failed to realise that with your armour gone, my ship will tear through yours like tissue paper." "And what you fail to realise is my ship is dragging mines." "Oh, no!" "Turn, turn!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "(Laughing)" "Yes!" "Yes!" "(Cheering)" "Mathesar!" "Oh, my God, you're alive." "Come here." "The ship was a model as big as this." "A very clever deception indeed." "(Laughing)" "Set a course for home, commander?" " Can you do that?" " Oh, yes!" "Just point and click." "Well, we're gonna have to go through a black hole then." "Any objections?" "(Jason) All right, set her up." "What's the matter, Mathesar?" "We were hoping you could come with us." "M-my people have no commander." "Mathesar, I think your people..." "have a great commander." "Sir." "(Whimpers)" "All right, Tommy, take us into the black hole." " We're out!" " We're going home!" "(Computer) 'Systems register functional.'" "All systems are working, Commander." "Jason, before the black hole, there was an energy surge from Sarris' ship." "Let's not worry about that right now, Alexander..." "Fred, what're you doing up here?" "Shouldn't you be downstairs?" "Hey, you could put an eye out with that." "Fred?" "Agh!" "No!" "(Laser blast)" "Mathesar!" "Activate the Omega 13!" "(High-pitched buzzing)" " We're out!" " We're going home!" "(Computer) 'Systems register functional.'" "All systems are working, Commander." "Jason, before the black hole, there was an energy surge from Sarris' ship." "(Gwen) Jason, what are you doing?" "What are you doing?" "Let go of me." "Let..." "It's not Fred!" "That's Sarris." "Listen, I'm telling you, that's Sarris!" "He's gonna kill all of us!" "(Roaring)" "Never give up, never surrender." "Jason!" "Jason!" "I can't slow it down!" "Our ship is too big to enter the atmosphere." "We need to separate, or we'll die." "We gotta do it." "It's our only hope, Mathesar." " Thank you." " Crew to the secondary deck." "Mathesar!" "Goodbye, my friends." "Fred, get up to command deck." "We're separating." "On, Teb, on!" "(TV) 'The third day of the GalaxyCon, 'and Jason Nesmith and his entire crew are no-shows here at the big event, 'much to the disappointment of all these fans, known as Questoids...'" "Bye." "Be back soon!" "Whoa, hey, Brandon, where are you going with all those fireworks?" "Well, the Protector got super accelerated coming out of the black hole and it site, nailed the atmosphere at mark 15, which, you guys know, is pretty unstable, obviously, so we're gonna help Laredo guide it on" "the VOX ultra-frequency carrier and use Roman Candles for visual confirmation." "Ah, all..." "All right, dinner's at seven." " Well, he's outside." " Hmm." "(Screaming)" "(Door hisses and clunks)" "(Coughing)" "(Coughs)" "(Cheering)" "Lieutenant Laredo..." "Tommy Webber!" "(MC) Hi, Tommy!" "The beautiful Tawny Madison..." "Gwen DeMarco!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Wow, what effects!" "Another shipmate!" "Yes, the more, the merrier!" "The ship's Tech Sergeant Chen, Fred Kwan... and a friend." "Dr Lazarus..." "Alexander Dane!" "Give him a big hand." "He's British!" "Yes, sir!" "Commander Peter Quincy Taggert..." "Jason Nesmith!" "(Jason) Great driving, Tommy." "Yeah!" "Yes!" "Quick, quick!" "Go, go!" "(MC) Mr Jason Nesmith!" "Come on, give it up for the crew, the NSEA Protector!" "Ah, true love!" "Yes!" "Wow!" " (Screaming)" " Come on!" "They're here for you folks." "Come on!" "What a show!" "What a show!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Give it up!" "Wow!" "Come on, give it up!" "Give it all up... for the crew of your favourite show, Galaxy Quest!" "Wow!" "Come on, come on!" "(MC) Don't forget to buy the Galaxy Quest T-shirts on your way out." "Thank you." "Whoo!" "'And now, back again after 18 years, The New Adventures of Galaxy Quest.'" "(Mathesar) Never give up, never surrender."