"Hey, Dad." "Why do you always walk in the middle of the road?" " I dunno." " What do you think the pavement's for?" "Dogs to walk on, the like of things." " You always walk in the road." " So do all the lads round here." "But why?" " Independence, is it?" " Aye, happen." "(HORN BLARES)" "So much for independence." " Bloody cars." " All the miners have them nowadays." "Except for the good old solid types of yesteryear who insist on strolling independently up the middle of the road." "Clever sod." "I expect they think the sun shines out on you down in Oxford." " Up." " What?" " Up, Dad, up." " Aye." "And up you, too." "One says up to Oxford." "You come down when you finish." "Oh?" "What's this, then?" "Does bloody Oxford move up and down the bloody mountain?" "Oh, hello, Harry, work again?" "Ah." "I'm only going to Ascot for the day." "Ey, you're not going to take your Nigel down pit bottom?" "Nigel's got his head screwed on right." "He doesn't have to go down there to earn a penny." "I wouldn't mind going down for a look." " It's a bit sweeter up in the fresh air, in't it?" " Yeah." "You know, I can't abide the clock turned." "Cooped up down there..." "Ecky bloody thump, I forgot to change me work towel." "I saw our mam put one out for you on the kitchen chair." "Oh?" "Do you think, then, I'd better go back and get it?" " Yes." "You've got time." " No." "Don't go." " Don't go back to fetch nothing." " Excuse me, Mrs Taylor..." " Shut your trap." " What do you mean?" "You don't know nothing about this, Nigel." "College boys don't." "Oh, well, it is a load of old rubbish, Mrs Taylor, in this day and age." "Our Nigel will think I'm a caveman." "Remember Jim Thomas?" "What about Jim Thomas, Harry?" "Well, that don't prove nothing." "In't he the bloke who got killed at Dad's pit just before Christmas?" "Crushed by a great stone." "Flattened like a bloody black beetle." " Aye, well, flat as a pancake." " And the bread still in his mouth." "Ask Mrs Thomas, Harry." "He forgot something and he went..." " Aye, aye, aye, we know!" " He did, Harry." "The old men always said, " Never go back for something once you've started for work."" "I thought that superstition had died out." "I expect you did, but there's more things on heaven and earth than meets the eye and they don't all come out of books." "(AEROPLANE ROARS OVERHEAD)" "Oh!" "Well, it's all right, see?" " I've got the towel after all." " Oh, there." "A lot of fuss about nowt." "But you can't be too careful about pit work." "You're quite right there, Mrs Taylor." "Come on, Nigel." "I don't want to miss the cage." "Ta-ra." "Ta-ra." "Better get home before it starts raining." "I can feel it coming in me bones." "Daft old cow." "Make your blood run cold." " Yeah, so I see." " Meaning?" "You haven't got that towel, have you?" "(COUGHS)" "(COUGHS UP PHLEGM)" "Well, you haven't, have you?" "It's still on the back of the kitchen chair." " Sneaky young bastard." " Look, hold on." "Get back to Oxford and learn some bloody respect." "Oxford, Oxford, Oxford, Oxford." "You've never done a decent day's work in your life." "Your snotty nose high in the air and your big head bouncing on the ground." "Charming." "Dad..." "I'm sick of the sight and sound of you." " Dad!" " Mock, mock, mock." "Nothing but bloody mock." "Come on." "I didn't mean anything like that." "Ah, sod off." "Nigel." "Turn your coat collar up, lad." "(DISTANT KLAXON)" "There but for the grace of God and the eleven plus." "You'll get on, Nigel." "You'll prosper, my boy." "You've always been such a good boy in class." "Thank you, Miss." "I'm sick of teaching scruffy, snotty-nosed little idiots who'll end up down the pit like their dads, or up to their elbows in the dolly tub like their mums." "God alone knows, I've tried, in my time, to knock some sense into their little heads, but I might just as well have been talking to a brick wall." "I remember." "I remember the school, where I was born." "Of course you do." "You're a good little boy." "Clever children from common homes like his have to be, shall I say, separated from their backgrounds." "I say nothing controversial." "(BELL CHIMES)" "Morning, sir." "(HUMS)" "(KNOCKING)" " Morning, sir, eight o'clock." " Eight?" "Eight on the dot." "You said you wanted to be on the move by quarter past." "Yeah, I've got an essay to finish." " I've lit the gas fire in your room, sir." " Ta." " Is it nice out, Doug?" " A bit cold." " Brass monkey weather, eh?" " Very cold, sir." " What did you say?" " I said it was very cold." " Sir." " Yes." "Very cold, sir." "Why do you call me sir?" " It's just the way things are." " Is it?" "You know, sir." "It's expected, like." " Then don't." " All right." " You're old enough to be me dad anyway." " I suppose I am, sir." " You've cleaned me shoes, haven't you?" " That's right, sir." "That's me job." "Shall I pour some water out for you, sir?" "You don't want it to get cold." "Please yourself." "I'll leave it to you." "Only you said you wanted to be up." " Doug." " Sir." " I'm sorry I was rude." " That's quite all right, sir." "Creep." "I heard a bloke on the train say Oxford would be all right if it wasn't for all the old buildings." "Latin prayers, old mate, dark gowns, old silver, clanging bells." "Don't worry, folks." "You're paying for it." "Clever children from common homes like his have to be, shall I say, separated from their backgrounds." "I say nothing controversial." "I remember, I remember the school where I was... torn." "(CHATTER)" "(BOISTEROUS CHATTER)" "Quiet!" "Be quiet, you little guttersnipes!" "The next lout to open his mouth will write out the remark fifty times." "Understand?" "Understand?" " Yes, Miss." " Good." "Now, as it is a Friday today, I will not read you a passage from the Holy Bible as I usually do." " (MUTTERING)" " Quiet!" "Instead, as a nice change, one of you can come out here and read the passage instead." "And you may pick the reading from anywhere in the Old Testament." "Now, who shall we choose to read from the good book?" "Me, Miss." "Georgie Pringle, the class comic." "He can't help himself." "The whole class knows that he knows all of the dirty bits in the Bible off by heart." "(CLASS MUTTER)" "It would be an unthinkable blow to his prestige if he selected something harmless." "Hence the excitement." "Well, George, what have you chosen?" "Well, Miss, I thought perhaps this bit." "It's erm..." "Ezekiel, chapter 23." "Yes." "Well, carry on." "And read slowly." "Yes, Miss." " Ezekiel, chapter 23, first verse." " (GIGGLING)" "Leave out the verse numbers." "Poor soft Georgie hopes the verse numbers will somehow give his voice an authentically official ring." ""The words of the Lord came again unto me, saying, 'Son of man, there were two women." ""'T he daughters of one mother." ""'A nd they committed whoredoms in Egypt." ""'T hey committed whoredoms in their youth." "There were their breasts pressed." ""'A nd there they bruised the teats of their virginity." '" "(POP MUSIC AND CHATTER)" "Oh, come on, Jilly, you don't really want to stay?" "Yes, I do." "Yes, I do." "Now, stop being so selfish." "Chat, chat, chat, it's all so bloody frustrating." " Adrian's parties are always full of bores." " Full of what, darling?" "I told him St George was born in a shop." "He thought I was talking about one of those tea shops frequented by arthritic old ladies with pasty faces." " George!" " Puff the magic dragon." " Nigel!" "Hey, Nigel!" " Hello, Adrian." " Welcome." "Glad you took me literally." " What?" " You actually brought a bottle." " It's only sherry." "It's cheap." "I'll hold onto this for a bit." "Half these blighters didn't bring anything except their thirst." "Oh, I don't know, though." "He must have been a real nut." "He used to eat moles and bluebottles and dish up mice in batter." "A bit like the food at Magdalen." "You stink of whisky, Tim." "Whisky..." " Crisp journalism, full of hate." " Thank you." "You're right." "This anti-immigration storm is a nasty thing." "Hey, isn't that Jill Blakeney over there?" " Oh, her." " Daughter of a judge." "And the biggest whore since Messalina." " But nice, very nice." " I wouldn't say no." " Do you know Jill?" " No." "Well, sort of." "She's in and out of the office with weird articles about witchcraft and warlocks." "There are acres of graveyards in Oxford." "Think of that." "The whole place is edged around with corpses." " Nothing but corpses." " Jill!" "Hey, Jill!" " No, no, no." "Leave her be." " Wait a jiffy, Adrian." " Come over here." "Nigel Barton wants you." " No, no." " Does he?" " Don't mind him." " Let me go, Tim." " Come along, Jill." "Meet Peregrine Worsthorne." "Tim, have a drink." " Rising star in Oxford journalism." " That's right." "What are you all dragged up for?" " My Sunday best." " Where's your drink?" " I haven't got one yet." " Come on." "He turned up at Junior's party in a sports jacket!" "Probably wears a clip-on bow tie." " (CHATTING) - (TIM) Jill!" " Shut up a minute." "Do you want to get a drink?" " Yes." "Got absolutely stuck." "One leg over the wall and the other leg stuck in mid-air." " Just my bloody luck to get caught in the rain." " New College isn't bad for climbing into." "We can miss tradition." "...the river." "Walking down the High Street with a pole." "I don't know anything about rowing, duckie." "You're very stiff and formal and..." "I'm proletariat." "How horrible for you." " What are you doing?" " Knocking off that chip, darling." "I like it there." "It might be profitable one day." " A blue chip." " (TIM) I say, Jill." "Oh, get off me." " Your services seem very much in demand." " Why not?" "Everyone's gone to the moon." " That's this place, all right." " Some moon." "Bright and shiny when you're a long way off." " Cold and rains hard when you get there." " Who said that?" " I did." " You mean you actually talk like that?" "It doesn't sound right with your accent." " Patronising bitch, aren't you?" " Mmm." "I think I shall get very drunk tonight and have to be put to bed." "Drunk as a judge?" "Nasty, nasty." "Pour me another drinkie." "Or roll me a cigarette, if you'd rather be my very own Andy Capp." "Oh, get stuffed, you silly flaming cow." " I say, look here." " You say?" "You say what?" " Good Lord." " That's very holy of you, isn't it?" " I say..." " Where's Nigel?" " Gone." " Gone?" "Where to?" "Gone to pee on a Rolls-Royce by the look of it." " He's only just come with a bottle, too." " Jill." " Oh." "Go and squeeze your blackheads." " What's up with you?" " Nigel's been writing some good stuff." " So I'm told." "Never read it myself." "Nobody listens." "Nobody talks." "Why did he go?" "He thought I was going to rape him." "You have to be very careful with these sons of the workers." "They like their women to be prim and proper, or on their backs with their mouths shut." "Shepherd's pie and chips and cold tarts." "He fought his way through clouds of coal dust to get here, so he says, the cunning bastard." "It's getting too damned fashionable." "(HICCUPS)" " His dad must be very proud of him." " (LAUGHS) ...the library of St John, believe me." " I don't believe..." " Adrian." " Adrian, do you believe me?" "Say you believe me." "Blue moon." "Blue, blue moon." "Never in all my born days have I heard anything like it." "Pringle is a young savage with the manners of a monkey and I hope that the headmaster is breaking the cane on that wicked boy's backside." "You will rue the day you ever dared snigger at such a filthy, rotten, horrible blasphemy." " (ALL) Yes, Miss." " You will not get a story this afternoon." "Nor on any other Friday afternoon until you show more respect to me and the good book." " Understand?" " (ALL) Yes, Miss." "Right, then." "Now we'll have somebody out front I can trust." "A good boy, who can read a nice, clean, respectable bit from the Holy Bible." " Stand up, Nigel Barton." " Yes, Miss." "Come and read to us the "Sermon on the Mount"." " Yes, Miss." " That's a good boy." "(MOUTHS)" ""And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying," ""'Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." ""'Blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted." ""'Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth." ""'Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness" ""'for they shall be filled..." ""'Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy.'"" " Excuse me, Miss." " Well?" "Headmaster said I was to ask your pardon before I sat down, Miss." " Ask it, then." " I ask your pardon, Miss." "I beg your pardon." "Beg." " I b... (SOBS)" " Oh, stop snivelling, you idiot." "Go on, Nigel." ""'Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God.'"" " Did you hear that, Pringle?" " Yes, Miss." ""'Blessed are they which are pers... persecuted for righteousness' sake," ""'for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.'"" "That will do, Nigel." "Sit down, Pringle." " Yes, Miss." " Thank you very much, Nigel." "You read it beautifully." "Beautifully." "Thank you, Miss." "(LAUGHTER)" "♪ I'm going to take you, girl, and hold you" "♪ Do all the things I told you in the midnight hour" "♪ Yes, I am, oh, yes, I am" "♪ One more thing... ♪" "Talk about Ramsay Mac." "You too can look like a superannuated wine waiter." "("IN THE MIDNIGHT HOUR" PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND)" "They laughed when I sat down to play." "Hello, Nigel." " Jill Blakeney." " Surprised?" "Show me up again, I suppose." "I wouldn't say that." "That's not exactly a cloth cap you're wearing, is it?" "Oh, it's me rig for the Union tomorrow." " I'm speaking second against the motion." " Hooray." " They laughed when I sat down to play." " What?" "Nothing." " The Union." " What?" " The Union." " What... what about it?" "Hoards of pompous, pimply-faced schoolkids yapping away like suburban Pekinese." "It's got the best lavatories in Oxford." "OK." "OK." "I know the Union's a fraud." "Then why bother?" "Why bother?" "That's your standard question." "Why bother?" "Why get involved?" "Why get angry or worked up or... anything?" "That's right." "You get the right perspective on this place when your tutor's on the Eamonn Andrews show." "I er... suppose you took it for granted that you'd come to Oxford, didn't you?" "More or less." " Your father was here, wasn't he?" " And my two brothers." "Hicks in starched collars, both of them." "Light?" "Well, I never took it for granted, did I?" " So?" " So I worked to get here, didn't I?" "I slaved to get here." "And the day I heard I got in I went in the back yard and I spewed." "You mustn't be so earnest about everything." " Why the hell not?" " Because." " Let me tell you something." " The importance of being earnest." "Chatter, chatter, chatter, chatter." "That's all some of us have been trained to do." "I sometimes feel as though I could..." "Wh... what's the matter?" "Are you..." "Are you unhappy?" "I'm young." "I'm beautiful." "That's right." "And full of sodium amytal." " Mmm?" " A tranquillizer." " This place..." " Oh, this place... is utterly artificial." "And pretentious." "And I worked hard to get here." "Bells across the meadow." "Oh, it's all cock, all of it." "Then why the Union bit, Mr Gladstone?" "Well, because I want to..." "I want to succeed." " Listen." " Yes?" "No, listen." "The days of the kowtowing little runt of a scholarship boy, they're over." "They're finished." " How green is my valley?" "How green is my..." " Tongue?" "Well..." "Well, take the..." "take the Union, then." "I've never heard such drivel." "I'm only just realising it's not brains that separates the middle classes from..." "yobs like me." "It's just privet hedges." "And as for all those chinless upper-class nits in British warms hanging about outside Trinity." "Shall we make love?" "Don't make fun of me, Jill." "Don't be a bitch." "Of course not." "You can do it in your dinner jacket if you'd rather." "Our Nigel's been speaking at the Oxford Union, Harry." " Well, fancy that, then, eh?" " He's getting on at last, is he?" "Not before time." "He's spoke there three times now and the president, or whatever he is, he's going to give him what's called a paper speech." " Aye." " It's very important." "It means, our Nigel says, that he has to speak for a long time and wear a dinner jacket." " What's more important, then?" " What?" "Speaking a long time or wearing a dinner jacket?" " He's getting on, that's the main thing." " Is it?" " What's the matter with you?" " Nowt." "Where's my cup of tea?" "You used to be so proud of our Nigel, Dad." "I didn't say I weren't, did I?" "Remember you put that drawing he did of them footballers up on the mantelpiece?" "Cricketers." "You tore it up the next day 'cause you said he might get big-headed." "Always going over things as happened years ago, that's you." " You used to be so proud of our Nigel." " (HARRY MUTTERS)" "Now, I mean, just one look at you and him together's enough." "Deep down, I reckon you must be a bit jealous of him." " What the hell's the matter with you?" " Terrible thing that, jealous of your own son." "Don't talk so soft." "(GAGS)" "(COUGHS VIOLENTLY)" "(COUGHS UP PHLEGM AND SPITS)" "Harry, I've just cleaned that there grate." "How can our Nigel bring his new friends here if you do that?" " Don't they spit, then?" " Our Nigel doesn't." "Yes, 'cause he never had to slave his guts out down pit." " Good job, in't it?" " He's scampering about in a dinner jacket." " I bet he picks his nose wi' his hanky." " You're jealous." "That's what it is." "Makes me sick." "Anyone would think Oxford was the be-all and end-all of life." "And all credit to him for getting there." " There's not many round here that's done it." " No, there in't." "Nigel's the first one down our road." "Mrs Pringle doesn't like it much neither." "Who cares what she thinks, the daft bitch?" "She's like the gormless woman in the margarine advert on the telly." " I always use butter myself." " Mind, her Georgie, he's a right card, he is." "He was good at the club on Sunday, wasn't he?" "When he was on about them two old women talking through the lavatory wall." ""My boy's got a part in the school play," says one. "He's playing Hamlet."" " (HARRY WHEEZES)" " That's the hard bit." "(COUGHS)" "George, you know, he were in the same class as our Nigel at infants' school." "Oh." "I know that." "He's on same shift as me this week." "He reckons our Nigel was always very clever." "He was always the top one." "Always has been." "Our Nigel's got it up top, all right." "Don't you worry about that." "I was always top of the school for drawing." "I sometimes wonder where he got it from." "Gaffer Brown, the headmaster at Star Road, he hauled me out in front of the whole school once to show them a drawing I'd done of an apple." "It even had a little round brown maggot hole in it, so true to life it were." "Still, didn't do me no good." "Didn't have a chance in them days." "Oh, well." "I never thought of anything different." "Not no Oxford anyroad." "They'd have sent us to loony bin if we'd so much as thought on it." "Still, our Nigel mustn't get too cocky, you know." "He knows his place and he knows what we've done for him." "I wouldn't bet on it if I were thee." "Nye Bevan, he always refused to wear a dinner jacket." "Yes." "Even at the Coronation." "Bit rude, I thought." "Rude?" "That lot want a bomb putting under 'em." "Never done a decent day's work in their lives." "I know what I'd like to do with that polo stick or whatever he calls it." "I think that Charles is ever so like his dad." "The way he walks with his hands behind his back." " Aye." "In case anybody kicks him up the jack." " Don't talk like that." "That's the sort of thing that could put off our Nigel's new friends from coming here." "What new friends?" "They won't come here." " Don't you be so sure." " Ooh." "In their dinner jackets, I suppose." "I know nowt about Oxford Union, but I know summat about miners' union." "You'll never get on unless you're clambering over the bent backs of your mates." " Our Nigel's one of us and he always will be." " Aye." " Yes..." " Shut up a minute." "I want to watch this racing." "It's not the dinner jacket that counts." "It's what's inside it." "He'll remember where he comes from." "You don't forget that." "(SHOUTING)" "(All SHOUT EXCITEDLY)" " What did the headmaster do?" " Did he hit you hard?" " How many times?" " Did he make you cry, Georgie?" "He wouldn't touch me." "Me old man would wring his ruddy neck." " The headmaster don't like old Scrag Chops." " What did he say?" "As I was leaving the room, he put his arm round me shoulder..." " And a cane on your bum." " No!" "He puts his arm round me shoulder and said, "George, my boy, I don't want you to worry." ""Don't worry." "She's only jealous 'cause she hasn't got nothing up there herself."" "I believe you, Georgie." "Thousands wouldn't." "Hey!" "What about teacher's pet, then?" "Nigel Barton!" "Nigel Barton!" "Teacher's pet, in't you?" "Eh?" "He's a lovely lad, is our Nigel." "The meek will inherit the earth, won't they, Nigel?" "You think you're too good for us lot, don't you?" "You're not, but Bert's going to teach you a little lesson." "Go on, Bert." "Come here, Nigel!" "Come here when I tell you!" "I won't tell you again." "What do you want?" "Oh, he's a lovely lad, is our Nigel." "Aren't you, Nigel?" "Oh, he loves the things they teach you in class, don't you, Nigel?" " Hey, Bert!" " Nigel Barton!" " What are you doing now?" " Nigel, you're not going to get away." "You think you're too clever." "Bertie's going to teach you a lesson." "Come here, Nigel!" " Get off!" " No, you won't, Nigel!" "No, you won't!" " Get off!" " No, you won't, Nigel!" " Get off me!" " Bertie's got you, Nigel!" "Get off!" "(ALL CHANT) He's a bright boy!" "He's a bright boy!" "Get off me!" "(WHISTLE BLOWS)" " Get off!" " (WHISTLE CONTINUES BLOWING)" "You dirty, rotten, horrible lot." "Bastards!" "♪ Yeahl" "♪ Every night and day" "♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah" "♪ We gotta get out of this place" "♪ If it's the last thing we ever do" "♪ We gotta get out of this place" "♪ Girl, there's a better life for me and you ♪" "Ah, Nigel, going to dazzle us tonight?" "Let's come right in." "I er..." "I must confess that I er... feel a bit of a phooey, Mr President, sir." "Hear!" "Hear!" "A bit of a phooey standing up here in the hired garb of my masters." "(LAUGHTER)" "But I was at least confident to find out that the vaunted presidential dinner consisted merely of tripe and onions." " (BELL RINGS)" " The honourable member is being hypocritical." "He enjoyed a meal of Aylesbury duckling, whilst boring us all with his inopportune comments on Oxfam." " (LAUGHTER)" " You say it was Aylesbury duck, Mr President." "Well, perhaps it was, but, by God, it tasted like tripe." "A point of information, Mr President." "Perhaps Mr" "Barton's palate is as primitive as his politics." "But hardly as primitive as your wit, sir." "(LAUGHTER)" "But tonight we're debating a serious proposition that needs serious argument, rather than lightweight banter." "Shame." "And there speaks the eternal voice of Oxford." "Nothing matters." "Nothing is worth personal commitment." "Nothing should be allowed to disturb the indolence and lethargy of its institutions." "Nothing should scratch the old walls or the ancient battlements." "That we should not fight for Queen and country is debated and decided with the same juvenile frivolity as the equally momentous proposition that well-bred camels should only have one hump." " One lump, sir, or two." " (LAUGHTER)" "The proposer, as stated, in impeccable, bray, cut-glass tones, that class no longer matters in Britain... (MAN) Well, it don't!" "Just listen." "I do not greatly care to hear an Old Etonian tell me that class is of no consequence." "(MUMBLING)" "His parents have not wasted their money in sending him and buying him his privilege, have they?" "(MAN) Order." "Order!" "Remind the member from New College that the rules of this house do not permit personal comments of this nature." "Very well, then." "Very well." "I withdraw the implication that parents who send their children to public schools get value for their money." "(CHATTING)" "Right, ladies and gentlemen." "Pot nine's gone for £1." "Putting on a pot for 15 shillings." "It's £5 now for a full house and eyes down." "On its own, number four." "All right." "Number eleven, legs eleven." "(WOLF-WHISTLING)" "Half-way there. 45." "All the sixes, clickety click." "Number ten, old Wilson's den." " What's the verdict, turn six." " House!" "(LAUGHTER)" "That were..." "Dick Turner, weren't it, that won that last house?" " Aye, Spotted Dick himself." " Maybe he'll buy a cake of soap." "That'll be the day." "Ladies and gentlemen, the last house gone for £5." "The jackpot was not won and next Saturday it will stand at 75... £75." "(CHEERING)" " That would come in handy." " We'll hold our breath, won't we?" "Your Nigel's home again, in't he?" "Yeah." "Six weeks this time, I think." "A long holiday anyway." "Aye." "I thought I saw him waiting for a bus." " Didn't speak to me, though." " I don't suppose he saw you." "Daydreaming most like, just like our Nigel." "(GEORGIE) All right, ladies and gentlemen." "Mr Gleen will begin with "In a Monastery Garden"" "and then we can have some artistes up here." "They do say around here that when a young fellow goes down to Oxford and that, he's liable to fall or summat, his nose being so high in the air, like." "Jealousy, I suppose." "Aye, jealousy." "I'd like to hear anybody say that about our Nigel." "The lad's not that way, not a bit of it." "How's he getting on down at Oxford, then?" " Up." " What?" "Up, lad, up." "They say up at Oxford." "They only say down when they're leaving there." "Oh, aye." "It's a funny place by all accounts." "Full of old buildings." "Still, I suppose your Nigel will give a good account of himself." "He's like that, you know." "Knows what's what." " (APPLAUSE)" " Will you have another one?" "I won't say no." "We have a special request for a song you all know from our one and only Arthur Baker!" " (CHEERING)" " Up you come." "Come on, lad." "Give him a big hand." "Here he comes." "Here he is." "Come on, lad." "Mind the steps." "Here he is." "Our own Frank Sinatra." "Come on, lad." " What's it going to be?" " "I'll Take You Home Again, Kathleen."" "As if we didn't know." "All right." "♪ I'll take you" "♪ Home again, Kathleen" "♪ Across the ocean" "♪ Wild and wide" "♪ To where" "♪ Your heart has ever been" "♪ Since first" "♪ You was my blushing bride" "♪ The roses... ♪" " On a hiding to nothing." " Aye." "Hello." "All right there?" "How's your Barbara?" "Dad, are you getting me one, then?" " All right, Nigel." "Pint, is it?" " Yeah." "Where are you sitting?" "Over there with Bill Jordan." "Two pints of half and half and a pint of bitter, please." " You should talk to him, Nigel." " Talk to him?" "Aye, it's funny, but he's sensitive." " Couldn't care less." " Oh." "Oh, ta, Bob." "Here, get yourself a drink wi' the change." "He reckons you ignored him the other night at the bus stop." "You want to be careful." "Folk will think you're stuck-up." " I couldn't care less." " But I could." "Go on." "Get yourself sat down." " Evening, Mr Jordan." " Oh." "(SONG ENDS)" "Hello, Nigel." " Cheers, Harry." " Our Nigel got these, Bill." "Oh, aye." "Well, er, cheers, Nigel." "Cheers, lad." "Good luck to you." " How are you getting on down at Oxford?" " All right, thank you, Mr Jordan." " Are you keeping well?" " Oh, middling, middling." "I must say I'd like six or seven weeks holiday." "How about you, Harry?" "Aye, be very nice, Bill." "Come in handy." "Aye, but we can't expect it, I suppose." "We ain't got it up top here, have we, Nigel, eh?" " What do you want me to say, Mr Jordan?" " Oh, nothing, boy." "I was only saying to your dad a little while ago how I do like to see a lad getting along in the world, especially when he remembers where he were bred and born, like." "Thank you, Mr Jordan." "I shan't forget that." "No, I didn't think you would, boy." "Didn't think you would." "Spotted Dick Turner walked off with last house tonight." "Good for him." "He'll be able to afford to buy himself soap at last." "That's what our Bill here said." "You know, when you're working underground all the time, it in't all that easy to keep a nice clean shining face all the time." "Stop niggling." "That's all you've done since I've sat down." " Aye, give it a rest, Bill." " Oh, pardon me for talking, I'm sure." "You're getting very sensitive." "Don't you know when your leg's being pulled?" "No one who's been brought up in a working-class culture can ever altogether escape, or wish to escape, the almost suffocating warmth and friendliness of that culture." "But... and this is what I mean by the personal element, as soon as you cross the frontiers between one class and another, you feel..." "I feel, as though you're negotiating a minefield." "Even one's own parents feel that you are judging them." "Scorning them, even." "And, believe me, I know what I'm talking about." "He may feel he knows what he's talking about." "I wish we enjoyed the same privilege." "(GEORGIE) That's straight up." "Straight up." "Hey, a woman walks into to a garage, pulls into a garage." "Says to the bloke, "Can o' BP." "I don't know, madam." "I've never seen one."" " This is as good as you'll ever get at Oxford." " Better, Dad, better." "He's a right one, in't he?" "He's a card." "Like he was at school." "As you doubtless know, we've had quite a few lads from round here go to university and don't they think they're the bee's knees." "(BILL) This should be good, Nigel." "We had one up our way t'other day." "Said he was doing some research." "Research?" "He couldn't tell his pen from his pencil." "Anyroad, he got lost in the fog, you see, when he comes up on this tiny little house." ""Aha," he says, making sure his plum stones are firmly fixed to his chops." ""Aha." "This must be one of those tiny miners' dwellings I hear so much about."" "He can just make out this tiny little door looming through the fog and the coal dust and so he knocks, but there's no answer." "So he knocks again, being an educated and intelligent man, you see." "A little boy pops his head round the corner of the door, just through this crack." "Just a crack, madam." "That's all." "It was just a crack." ""Hello." "Hello, sonny," he said." ""Is your daddy in?"" "He said, " He was in here a bit ago, but he went out when our mum came in."" ""Is your uncle Fred in, then?"" "He said, "He was in here a minute ago." Getting quite fed up by now." ""But he went out when I came in."" "He said, "What sort of a house is this, then?"" "Very sarcastic, like. "These miners."" ""This in't our house." "Our house is up the garden." "This is greenhouse."" "You liked that." " I'd like to get him on the programme." " He'd be glad of the money." "Nigel, somebody wants to meet you." "Norman Conrad, a member of the standing committee a few years ago." " More than I care to remember." " Oh, well..." "Hello." "Are you going to tell me, then, the Union isn't what it was?" "I thought the undergraduates are much younger than they were." "Ah, but we're frightfully mature, aren't we?" "I thought you spoke well and had some fascinating things to say." "Oh, thank you." "It is my favourite subject, of course, my license for melodrama." "What's that ghastly thing you're eating?" "Not sure." "It looks like a toad that's been run over." "Well, I don't think I'll risk it." " Oh, Lord, the Union isn't what it was." " Ah, there you are, you see?" "Look, why don't you come back to my hotel for a bite and a few drinks?" "Well, er..." "I'd like to discuss something that I think may interest you." "I'm doing a telly programme about class in" "Britain in a month's time." "On the BBC of course." "Oh." "With a smug face, summing it up with a bromide about our peaceful social revolution." "Probably." "Still, that wouldn't be your role, would it?" "Oh?" "You mean you might want me on this programme?" "Yes." "You'd find it an interesting experience at any rate." " You can leave before we get to the bromide." " What's it going to be called?" " "Britain, Land of Barriers."" " That'll really shake ITV, that will." "Still, it could prove to be a very exciting theme." "Quite." "Well, I'm glad you feel like that about it." "Social attitudes can make effective television, provided one chooses the right examples, the interesting experiences." "It's surprising how blind some people can be." " The dinner jacket suits Nigel frightfully well." " I wonder where he hired it." "♪ And I love that old cross" "♪ Where the dearest and best" "♪ For a world of lost sinners was slain" "♪ So I'll cherish" "♪ The old rugged cross... ♪" "(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)" "Come on, Ernie." "Keep your head up, Ernie." "Keep it up, lad." "You might spill some." " You're going to give us a number, aren't you?" " Aye." " And we all know what it is, don't we?" " Aye." " I bet I can guess what it is, can't I?" " Aye." " "Sixteen Tons", isn't it?" " Aye." "Give him a big hand." "♪ You get 16 tons and what do you get?" "♪ Another day older and deeper in debt" "♪ St Peter don't call me 'cause I can't go" "♪ I owe my soul to the company store ♪" "(HARRY MUMBLES)" "Come on, Dad." "I think we've had enough." "Nay, lad, nay." "Sit down." "I'm just beginning to enjoy myself." "This place is giving me a headache." "What's the matter, Nigel?" "In't it good enough for you now, then?" " (RINGING)" " NJ Barton, New College." "Singing "The Old Rugged Cross" in the King's Arms when inebriated." "And refusing to leave the premises upon the request of the landlord and a senior member of the university." "And giving a false name." " Mr NJ Barton?" " Sir." " Of New College?" " Sir." " (SPEAKS LATIN)" " Sir?" "Did you, Mr Barton, on the evening of Tuesday" "January the 23rd, sing the "Old Rugged Cross"" "in the lounge bar of the King's Arms in the city?" "Yes, sir." "And "Rock of Ages", sir." "Are you reading theology?" "No, sir." "PPE." " Are you a Christian, sir?" " No, sir." "Just an atheist who's fond of hymn tunes." " I beg your pardon." " Why should God have all the best tunes?" "(CLEARS THROAT) You refused to stop singing upon the landlord's request." "You refused to leave upon the landlord's request." " Were you drunk?" " A little the worse for wear, sir." "And what is far more serious, unpardonable in fact, is you gave a false name to the proctor's office." "Yes, sir." "I'm sorry, sir." "We act upon the assumption that those in statu pupillari at this university are gentlemen." "Really, sir?" "It is highly objectionable to attempt to mislead the proctors." " You're fined £10 and cautioned." " What?" "!" "£1 for singing the "Old Rugged Cross" in the King's Arms." "We'll ignore "Rock of Ages"." "And £9 for giving a false name to the proctorial office." "Pay the university marshal in the corridor outside and next time confine your warbling to the public bar." "Good morning, sir." "Oh, I've done it now." "I've really gone and done it now." "I shall cop it good and proper." "God knows what our mam will say." "Oh, my God." "Our father which art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name." "Thy kingdom come..." "After they done me over in the playground, you see, I was mad." "I was real mad, you see." "So I er..." "I crept back after school and I pinched this er... this here potted daffodil off the window sill." "I yanked it out, like, and I broke it all up." "I pulled all them little yellow petals off, one by one." "One at a time." "I felt like doing it, you see." "I felt like it." "I felt like it!" "But old Scrag Chops, you know, she's sure to catch me out." "She'll cut me good and proper and God knows what she'll do." "Oh, my God." "Our father which art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name." "Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done..." "Somebody in this room is a thief." "Somebody, some wicked, wicked child, has stolen our lovely daffodil." " (CLASS) Aw." " Yes, our lovely daffodil." "The one we've all watered and tendered since the middle of March." " (CLASS) Aw." " Sit absolutely still, every single one of you." "Quite, quite still." "I have my own ways of finding nasty little sneak thieves." "Stand up, Nigel Barton." "Nigel, do you know anything about this?" " I can't believe it was you." " No, Miss." " Then what do you know about it?" " I think..." " I think I might have had the daffodil, Miss." " What do you mean?" "Speak up." "Well... the stem was all broke, Miss, and somebody gave it to me, Miss." " Who gave it to you?" " Oh, I don't like to say, Miss." " You'd better had." " Georgie Pringle." " I never did..." " Quiet, Pringle." "All right, Nigel, thank you." "And where did Pringle give you this broken flower?" "By the bus stop, Miss." "The stem was all broke." "I thought I'd try to mend it, Miss." " Oh, you rotten liar." " You'd better be quiet, Pringle." "Does anyone else know anything about this?" "Anyone see Pringle with the flower?" " Did anyone see him come back into the school?" " I saw him come back into the school, Miss." " No, Miss, no." " Quiet, Pringle." " Did you see him come out again?" " No." "Somebody must have seen him come out again." "What about you, Bert?" "Are you mixed up in this, too?" "Who, me, Miss?" "Not me, Miss." "Was he with you?" "Did you see him come out?" "Yes, Miss." "I mean, he wasn't with me." "I did see him come out, Miss." "And he had the daffodil in his hand, didn't he?" " Yes, Miss." " No, Bert, no." " In his left hand, Miss." " I saw him, too, Miss." "I did, too, Miss." " Where did you see him?" " By the bread shop, Miss." "And he had the flower, Miss, and the stem were all broke, just like Nigel says." "Come out to the front, Georgie Pringle." " But it isn't true." " Come out to the front." "All right, Nigel." "You can sit down now." "Thank you for being so truthful." "Thank you, Miss." "You mustn't have a conscience about these things." "Mmm." "The kind of nobs who have always been in power knew very well what life was about." " And how to fix it." " The bastards." "But they've opened the door and let you in." "Say that again." "They've opened the door and let you in." " So that's why I'm like I am." " Only with you, it hurts." "Hurts?" "Yes, it hurts." "Like flaming bloody hell it hurts." "And it must be the same for the others, too." " The others?" " The others, Jill." "All the other bright little boys from the back-to-back houses who now write advertising copy, television plays, newspaper columns." "The admass clowns, Jill." "Traitors to a man." "Come on." "Out with it." "What did you say in that blasted television interview?" "Nothing." "Well, nothing that wasn't true." "What did you say?" "Well, that class was only debatable in personal terms and could only be felt as something solid and immovable by those who were, either by accident or examination, dragged up the mountain." "Dragged out of their old backgrounds, their old loyalties, their old assumptions..." "Yes?" "Well?" "There's nothing wrong with that, is there?" "No." "No." "The suspense is killing me." "I talked about my own father and mother, Jill." "I used them." "I damn well bloody used them." "How do you do." "You wouldn't be Mrs Barton by any chance, would you?" "Aye, that's me." " Have you come about the telly?" " In a sense, yes." "Oh, aye." "And not before time, neither." "We can't hardly get ITV steady." "It's jumping about all over the place." "I don't think you understand." "I'm a newspaper reporter from the "Globe" in London." " London you say?" " That's right, London." "All the way from London to see Mr Barton." "Oh." "What a long way to come for nothing." "I'm... very sorry, but our Nigel isn't here." "He's... at Oxford University, you know." "Yes, I do know." "Making quite a name for himself, isn't he?" " Is anything wrong?" " It depends how you look at it." " He's not in any kind of trouble?" " No, nothing like that." "Well, I'm sorry." "He's not here, Mr er..." "It wasn't Nigel I came to see, Mrs Barton." "It was Mr Harry Barton." "The dad." " Harry?" "What, our Harry?" " That's right." "Is he..." "Are you sure it's our Harry you want to see, not our Nigel?" "Not our Nigel." "Definitely not our Nigel." "Well... you best come in a minute if it's really our Harry you want to see." " He's not at work?" " He soon will be." "He's on afternoon shift this week." "He's never in a very good mood, so you'd best make it quick." "Mind the step." "That's it." "Now, come up." "There you are." "Harry?" "Harry, there's somebody come to see you from London." " Me?" " Come in." "That's it." "That's right, Mr Barton." "You and you only." "From the "Globe"." " Newspaper?" " Some people call it that." " We've got a very good racing column." " What do you want?" " May I..." " Er... help yourself." "Have you got time for a cup of tea?" " Mrs Barton, there's nothing I'd like more." " What brings you up here?" "Your son Nigel, Mr Nigel Barton." "I thought you said it was Harry you wanted to see." "It is Harry I want to see and it's your Nigel I want to talk about." " What's he done, then?" "Not trouble, is it?" " What's he done?" " He's given an interview to the television." " Our Nigel?" " On the telly?" " We haven't seen it." "You wouldn't have." "It's not being shown for a month." "It's a big documentary, actually, about class." "He talks about it very profoundly." " Class?" " That's right, Mr Barton, class, old chap." "Class." " What does our Nigel know about that?" " I'm surprised he hasn't told you about it." " We didn't say he hadn't." " No, so you didn't." "What have you come here for, then?" "Has it ever occurred to you that your son Nigel is ashamed of you?" " Ashamed?" " Yes." "You see, we managed to get hold of a copy of the script and it might be interesting if you and your wife would like to comment on some of the things your son has said." " Get out." " I beg your pardon." " I said get out." " Listen to what I have to say..." " Mr Troublemaker." " Now, now, now." "I'll give you now, now, now if you don't get out." " Get back to London before I fetch you one." " I'm on my way, Cassius." " Goodbye, then." " Goodbye nothing." " I take it you stand by your son." " You can take your hook out of here." "(DOOR CLOSES)" " Ashamed..." "What's it all about, Harry?" " (COUGHS)" "What's our Nigel gone and done?" "(COUGHS UP PHLEGM AND SPITS)" "He's got hold of the wrong end of stick." "Newspapers is always the same." "You can never believe a word you read." "What's our Nigel been and said?" " I don't know, do I?" " I've always kept the place clean." "You could eat off the floor here any day of the week." "Shouldn't worry about it, lass." "Have you got me a clean towel?" "But it can't hurt them, can it?" "Yes, I think it can." "I was acting it up a bit, you see, you know, overemphasising it." "I wouldn't mind a job on the old telly." "So, of course, I put in a few highly-coloured observations." "Hard eyes, snapping at the camera like they all do." " Have they offered you a job?" " No." "Perhaps I overdid it a bit." "Oh, leave it, Nigel." "On the other hand, perhaps I wasn't dramatic enough." " Nigel." " I'm sorry." "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." "I can't uncoil." "I can't wind down." "I wish I had some little metal balls to click in me hands." "I'm restless." "I'm restless all the bloody time, Jill." " Calm yourself down." " (TUTS)" "I don't feel that I belong anywhere in particular." "I despise this place." "And yet I feel I'm no longer equipped to remember where I came from." "I despise politics and yet I want things to change." "I'm sick of personal tensions." "And yet I have..." "I have to exploit them, to get any energy, to keep any ambition." "Am I boring you?" "Yes." "Why?" "You're like a performing animal." "It all comes out too smoothly." "You could have read it in some paperback." "Paperbacks, Nescafe, cigarettes and lights burning late." "That's us." "Emancipated." "And hooters and slag heaps." "And dumpy old women queuing outside the bingo hall." "That's them." "The suckers." "But if all is all right in the world of Mr Brennan, are there other ways in which class can be said to make a difference in modern Britain?" "Nowadays more of our university..." " Is this you now, Nigel?" " Shh." "For example, Nigel Barton, son of a coal miner, seen here in his rooms at Oxford." " It doesn't look very tidy." " Shh." "Yes, class does matter to me." " It matters intensely." " Why is that?" "Because I'm here six months of the year and at home six months of the year." "I travel between two utterly different worlds." "I feel sometimes that I need a passport." " Passport?" " Yes, a passport." " Squit." " I see." "In what ways do these differences strike you most forcibly?" "In every way." "Here books are not regarded as rubbish." "Here you can discuss things without letting it turn into a argument." "The place reeks of privilege." "I don't feel cowed by a squalid landscape." "I don't feel the need to apologise for being an intellectual." "Certainly, but even so, even so, I do feel a pang of alarm when my scout..." "Oh, er, my scout, my servant." "That's a college servant who calls me sir and cleans my shoes." "It's a lot of bloody nonsense." "Of course it's a phooey atmosphere here." "It's very artificial." "I have to pinch myself sometimes." "And, at others, I feel like trampling it all underfoot." "Latin prayers and glinting silver." "Undergraduates talking about foreign cities with overwhelming familiarity." "Braying accents across the quad." "Oh, horribly smug, offensively patronising, irredeemably arrogant." "I feel I don't belong here." "That's my trouble." "(NORMAN) Where do you belong, at home?" " Of course." " No." "I'm afraid I don't." "Now, it hurts to say this, of course, but it's the truth." "Back at home, in the village, in the working men's club, with people I went to school with, well, I'm so much on the defensive, you see." "They suspect me of making qualitative judgements about their environment, but it's not my wish to do so." "Yet I even find my own father looking at me oddly sometimes, waiting to pounce on some remark, some expression in my face." "Watching me like a hawk." "I don't feel at home in either place." "I don't belong." "It's a tightrope between two different worlds and I'm walking it." " You're a bloody liar, Nigel." " Can you see any way out of this dilemma?" "No." "None whatsoever." "Unless by becoming utterly insensitive and dead inside, by pretending, like many people do, that these things do not matter, but they... but they do." "Well, thank you." "Thank you very much." "Thank you for nothing." "They cut it, Dad." "They cut it to bits." " They cut me, you mean." " I'm sorry." "I'm..." "I'm bitterly sorry." " Watch you like a hawk, do I?" " You do, Harry." "Well, there, you see." "Watch you like a hawk, do I?" "What are they going to say at work?" ""Here comes the hawk wi' his son on the tightrope."" "It's just an expression, Dad, just a way of putting it." "Put it somewhere else." "I don't want tightrope walking here." " Don't say that." " I watch him like a..." "Watch..." "I've never heard the like." "Look, I've said I'm sorry." " I'll go tomorrow if you like." " But then what will people say?" "I don't know what it's all coming to." "I just don't understand any of it." "You might not, but I do." "I bloody hope I do." "It's clean enough here, Nigel." "You could eat off the floor." "Oh, Mum!" "I'm going to club." "And don't blame me if I come home stinking drunk." " Do you want me to come?" " No, I bloody don't." "(DOOR SLAMS)" "I wish we hadn't watched it, Nigel." ""No Hiding Place" was on." "I like that, too." "Do you like "No Hiding Place", our Nigel?" "Yes, I like..." "I like it very much." "Perhaps those telly people will offer you a job." " You came over very well, considering." " Yeah." "Yeah, perhaps they will." " That would please your dad no end." " I'll bet." "It would, Nigel." "When you were a little lad, he vowed that you'd never have to go down the pit." ""He's got to get away from this place," he used to say." "And I bloody did, didn't I?" "!" "Ey, I think I'll just go to the club." "You know, and have a drink and try and make it up with him." "If he'll let me." "Make sure he doesn't get too much inside him." "He's in and out of bed like a jackrabbit when he's full of beer." "Yeah, I know." "I'll er..." "I'll go, then." " Don't you worry about it, our Nigel." " I'm not worried." "I'm not worried." "Well, ta-ra, love." "Yeah." "Ta-ra." "(COUGHING AND WHEEZING)" "Dad?" "(HARRY MUMBLES)" "Anything wrong?" "Nay, Nigel, nowt wrong." "I thought happen you'd be coming." "Just for a couple of quick ones, then, eh?" "That was the idea." "Come on, then." "Aye." "(COUGHS)" "Nigel." "Yes, Dad." "I'm walking in middle of road, mind." "♪ Now, my girl, you're so young and pretty" "♪ And one thing I know is true, yeah" "♪ You'll be dead before your time is due" "♪ I know it" "♪ Watched my daddy in bed a-dying" "♪ Watched his hair been a-turning grey" "♪ He's been working and slaving his life away" "♪ I know he's been a-working so hard" "♪ I've been working, too, baby" "♪ Every day, baby" "♪ Wowl" "♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeahl" "♪ We gotta get out of this place" "♪ If it's the last thing we ever do" "♪ We gotta get out of this place" "♪ Girl, there's a better life for me and you" "♪ Somewhere, baby" "♪ Somehow I know it" "♪ We gotta get out of this place" "♪ If it's the last thing we ever do" "♪ We gotta get out of this place" "♪ Girl, there's a better life for me and you" "♪ Believe me, baby" "♪ I know it, baby." "♪ You know it, too ♪"