"[Music playing]" "[Scratching sound]" "[Fast forward sound]" "DIANA:" "You've never modeled before?" "Am I doing a poor job?" "DIANA:" "I didn't say that." "Mmm, no." "I always wanted to." "I just never really had the chance, you know?" "[Camera flash]" "Is something wrong?" "DIANA:" "What makes you say that?" "I don't know know." "I just feel like there's something wrong." "Why?" "I don't know." "I mean, I'm nervous, I guess." "Do I make you nervous?" "No." "Do you feel uncomfortable being naked in front of me?" "No, not really." "Then what do you have to be nervous about?" "I don't know." "I just want you to think I'm pretty." "I mean, your assistant said if you found me pretty," "Everything would be OK." "Don't you think you're pretty?" "I'm all right, I guess." "Do you think I'm pretty?" "Well, yeah, beautiful." "Let's try another pose." "Lie down." "My assistant said he found you on the street." "Yeah, I met him in the street." "He said you don't have a home." "I have a home." "I just ran away from it, that's all." "Why?" "Why does anybody run away?" "Don' t move your head, please." "[Scratching sound]" "What are you doing?" "Relax." "Your assistant said you were going to paint a picture." "[Screaming]" "[Rustling sounds]" "[Creaking wood]" "[Crying]" "[Dripping sound]" "[Scraping sound]" "[Music playing]" "[Projector sound]" "[Beeping]" "[Dog barking]" "[Footsteps]" "[Music playing]" "Don't call me, dude." "Let's go fuck a prostitute, man." "Look, I got things to to, all right?" "Ah, man, listen, would you talk to her for me?" "You know, maybe if you told her that I was cool," "Then I could go over there." "Conner, look, I'll see what I can do, all right?" "CONNER:" "You know, maybe she could" "Paint my picture or something." "EDMOND:" "Diana only paints women." "CONNER:" "All right, fine." "Look, you want to get together later this week," "Maybe go get a beer or something?" "Yeah, sure." "Hey, guys, I'll fuck you both for $20." "CONNER:" "How old are you?" "I'm legal." "All right, $20 each?" "Or $20 for both of us at the same time." "You live out here on the streets?" "Yeah, this is my home." "Come on, look how young and sexy I am." "$20." "What about your parents?" "I live with my daddy." "Who do you think my pimp is?" "You make me sad." "Well give me $20, and I'll cheer you up." "Maybe some other time, tootsie pop." "CONNER:" "Whoa, whoa, Edmond, where are you going, man?" "Didn't you hear what she fucking said?" " Yeah, I heard what she said." " Fucking $20, man." "I got $10 right here." "Let's do it." "Dude, she doesn't looks very clean to me." "CONNER:" "Fuck, I got six bars of Zest at the house, OK." "Dirt ain't no problem." "Wonder how old she is." "Man, who cares fucking cares about her age?" "$20?" "I don't any place where you could" "Get laid that cheap except maybe like fucking Cambodia." "You got to pay a shitload of money to get there," "So it ain't even worth the trip." "You know what I'm saying?" "Let's fuck this girl." "Dude, man, I got something to take care of, all right?" "Do it." "All right?" "Go for it." "Hey, Edmond, I'm going to meet that artist some day, right?" "Yeah, sure." "You're the man, Edmond, I'll catch you later." "[Dog barking]" "[Gunshots]" "[Squealing]" "[Music playing]" "[Door opening]" "You're late." "EDMOND:" "Sorry." "DIANA:" "I wanted you here half an hour ago." "EDMOND:" "I know, Diana." "What kept you?" "Pretty." "I asked you a question." "I was out." "Doing what?" "What I always do." "Hanging with that boy, Conner?" "Yes." "I don't know why you choose to surround yourself" "With such normal people, Edmond." "They are so maudlin." "You're above them." "You should be one of us." "How many more paintings do we have left, Diana?" "Two." "And my show goes up in two days." "So that doesn't leave much time." "EDMOND:" "Fine." "DIANA:" "And find me someone older." "EDMOND:" "Older." "I don't know where you find these waifish little girls," "But they are exasperating to paint." "Their blood is so thin, it doesn't, uh, what's the word?" "Coagulate very rapidly." "And it tastes like absolute piss." "So find me someone older." "You know, that may take a little time." "I may have to go out of time for that." "Don't be silly, Edmond, there's a homeless whore" "For every tree in this town, and clean up this mess." "It smells like death in here." "It always smells this way, Diana." "[Bed creaking]" "[Moaning]" "[Scream]" "Stop!" "What are you doing?" "Cut it out!" "You're hurting me." "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" "Lay back down." "Fuck you, psycho." "You're wacko, man." "CONNER:" "Come over here." "You need help." "Jesus, man, you ripped my neck open." "Oh." "You're a freak, dude." "Fuck you!" "Shove it up your asshole." "[Music playing]" "[Heavy breathing]" "[Laughing]" "[Music playing]" "[Digging]" "[Music playing]" "Where you heading?" "Anderson." "Yeah?" "Well, you've got a long way to go." "Ha, yeah, well, you don't know the half of it." "I've come a long way." "Well, uh, where you staying tonight?" "Been sleeping in a tent for the past few months." "EDMOND:" "Well, listen, I'm..." "I'm going" "To Anderson tomorrow morning." "You can ride with me there." "I got a friend you could stay with tonight." "[Electronic sound]" "Wow!" "Would you check this place out?" "What the fuck?" "What does your friend do?" "She's an artist." "She's a painter." "Oh, my god." "Nice paint." "What kind of things does your friend paint?" "I paint live drawings." "Oh, hi, you must be Diana." "Mhm." "Great place." "[Electronic sounds]" "And who are you?" "EDMUND:" "This is Deborah." "I picked her up on the road hitchhiking." "She's on her way to Anderson." "I am going to drive her there in the morning." "If it's not a problem." "Don't be silly." "I love company." "Thanks." "Do you mind if I use your bathroom?" "It's down the hallway." "Take a shower." "Thanks." "Where are you going?" "I'm going home." "Why don't you just stay here tonight?" "No way." "What's wrong, Edmond?" "[giggling] You've been acting" "So strange lately. [Giggling]" "Goodnight." "I want you to stay here tonight." "I want you to stay here tonight." "I don't want to stay here tonight." "I got to go home." "You could be so powerful, Edmond, so powerful." "EDMOND:" "That's it, Diana." "I can't do this shit anymore." "Don't underestimate me, Edmond." "Daddy can't live forever." "You stay the fuck away from my father." "Come sit down." "Sit the fuck down." "[Music playing]" "[Babies crying]" "[Music playing]" "Oh, man, that was the best shower ever." "Ah, I really needed that." "[Roar]" "[Screaming]" "[Roar]" "[Ripping sound]" "[Screaming]" "[Ripping sounds]" "[Crunching]" "[Music playing]" "I'm going to bed." "I want her out of her before I wake up tomorrow." "I thought you said you were going to paint her." "She's not pretty enough." "Walt Whitman is the best." "No, no... it's wrong." "It's wrong." "WOMAN:" "Out of your book." "MAN:" "No, he don't." "WOMAN:" "Walt Whitman tell you everything" "That's supposedly going on." "And see, your book says bullshit, OK?" "MAN:" "What is it going to take to chill out?" "[Inaudible]" "WOMAN:" "I want you to understand." "I want you to understand that book is just as dumb as mine." "Your book is just as dumb as is mine." "[Music playing]" "[Remote click]" "[Loud sound]" "[Music playing]" "MOTHER:" "I'm dying, baby." "I know, mama, that's OK." "Promise me that you'll take care of your father" "Because without you he'll die from the grief." "Do you understand what I'm telling you?" "I do, mama, I do." "Don't let that happen." "I won't." "I promise." "Mom?" "[Music playing]" "[Roar]" "[Screaming]" "[Heavy breathing]" "[Music playing]" "I got it now." "[Mad laughter]" "Hey, man, you got $5?" "Man, give me $5." "Man, fuck you." "Man, give me some of that ass." "It's my daughter." "She's been missing three weeks." "Have you seen her?" "No." "Please, ask around." "If you find out anything at all, call me." "I can't live without her." "[Kids playing]" "Have you seen my granddaughter?" "She's been missing since April." "Have you seen her." "Please, help me." "Her grandmother is getting sick over this." "And so am I. Please, have you seen her?" "Have you seen my daughter?" "Have you seen my daughter?" "Have you seen my daughter?" "Her name is Kelly." " Have you seen my daughter?" " She's 110." "She's got brown hair." "Have you seen her?" "Have you seen my daughter?" "[Interposing voices]" "Listen to me." "Have you seen her?" "You've got to help me." "Have you seen her?" "Have you seen my daughter." "Help me." "Help me." "No!" "Help me." "Have you seen my..." "[Interposing voices]" "Help me find her!" "[Interposing voices]" "[Crying]" "[Interposing voices]" "MAN:" "Have you seen my daughter?" "Come back here!" "[Heavy breathing]" "[Music playing]" "What the hell are you staring at?" "Help me up, would you?" "I ain't got nothing on my hands." "You're the guy from the other night." "Yeah, I remember you." "Yeah." "Look what your buddy did to my neck." "The son of a bitch tried to kill me." "What?" "He bit you?" "Yeah, he bit me." "He fucked me." "He bit me." "I didn't even get my money, man." "Look you got to help me." "Please." "I can't take this shit anymore." "I don't have any money." "I don't have any place to stay." "Let me suck you off." "It'll only cost you $5." "No." "I'm begging you." "No." "Come on, man." "I'm losing my mind out here." "Hey, look, come with me, OK?" "All right, come on." "I just..." "I just [inaudible]." "[Music playing]" "This is your place?" "Yeah." "Here, come on." "[Music playing]" "Take off your clothes." "Here's fresh clothes for you to change into" "And get yourself cleaned up." "I'll be in the other room if you need anything." "Can I use hot water?" "Yeah, of course." "[Music playing]" "Wake up." "Hello." "Do you want to fuck me now?" "No" "Then what am I doing here?" "You're resting." "Here." "Sit closer to me." "Ah!" "That isn't so bad." "Your friend is a psychopath." "I don't know why Conner would do something like this." "Well, he's deranged." "Was he good?" "What do you mean?" "Was he good in bed?" "He was too rough." "What?" "You don't like it rough?" "I get it rough all the time." "For once I'd just like someone to be gentle, you know?" "I'd just like to be held for once." "Yeah, but your friend's got problems." "He thinks he's a vampire or something." "Conner is weird like that." "Conner did this to you?" "Diana." "[Screeching sound]" "EDMOND:" "How long have you been standing there?" "Long enough." "The door was wide open... an open innovation for anyone" "To just come on in." "You really should be more careful." "Who is this?" "Just a minute, Edmond, I just want to look." "What's your name?" "Dee." "Well, you're very beautiful, Dee." "Thank you." "Who did this to your precious neck?" "I heard the name Conner." "Is that your friend, Edmond?" "Yep." "Conner did this to you?" "Yes." "He bit your neck?" "Yes." "Why?" "I don't know." "We were fucking, and he attacked me." "How odd." "EDMOND:" "Diana, what are you doing here?" "My show goes up in two days, Edmond." "You hadn't forgotten, I hope." "I painted the woman you brought by last evening." "I don't have time to be picky." "But I need one more model." "Fine, I'll find you someone today." "No, Edmond, I think you already have." "You don't have a home?" "No." "And you were having sex with this Conner fellow for money," "I assume?" "How would you like to make some money modeling?" "DEE:" "Modeling?" "DIANA:" "Mhm." "I'm an artist." "I paint women." "Really?" "I think you have a very interesting face." "I think you'd be perfect." "I always wanted to be a model." "Then you shall be." "EDMOND:" "No." "Yes, of course you shall." "EDMOND:" "No, not her." "You like this one, Edmond?" "I'll find you somebody else." "She is beautiful." "I'll find you someone today." "No, I want her, Edmond." "I thought you said you wanted someone older." "Well, that was then." "This is now." "What do you want from me, Diana?" "Good question, well, I simply want you." "I'll never be with you." "Then I will take everything you have." "Why me?" "Find someone else." "You know why, Edmond." "You're torturing me." "If you loved me, you'd let me go." "I can't let you go, Edmond." "Now bring her by tonight." "I want to paint her." "No." "[Sighs] Saving her soul isn't going to erase all" "Of the sins you've committed." "Your soul is as damned as mine." "You're going to be a model." "Would you like that?" "DEE:" "Fuck yeah." "Have Edmond bring you by my place in an hour." "And bring Conner with you." "I'd like to meet him." "His methods of seduction intrigue me." "DEE:" "Hey, was that your girlfriend?" "No." "I'm not like getting into trouble, am I?" "Look, where do you live?" "I don't have a home, man, I told you that." "But do you have any relatives?" "I've been on the street since I was 13." "My parents don't give a shit about me." "Where do they live?" "Why do you want to know that?" "Because I've taken you home." "I'm not going home." "What?" "You'd rather live on the streets?" "You'd rather fuck people that you don't even know." "What type of life is that?" "It's a way better life than I got waiting back home." "Look, I don't know why you're trying" "To be Mr. Good Samaritan Eagle Scout, and I don't give a shit." "All I wanted was $5 to suck you off." "Calm down, OK?" "Listen, just take me to your artist friend's house," "And you don't have to worry about me anymore, OK?" "I can't do that, all right?" "Why not?" "Look, I'll take you anywhere but there." "Listen, you heard what she said." "She wants to paint my picture." "I'm going to be a model." "Why do you have a problem with that?" "I just do, all right?" "Well, tough shit." "Tell me where she lives, and I'll fucking walk there." "No, you're not going anywhere." "What?" "You heard what I said." "Oh, you give me some clean clothes," "And you bandage my wounds." "And I'm supposed to do what tell you tell me?" "Is that it?" "Well, I'm out of here." "(ANGRILY) No, you're not going anywhere." "[Drums]" "I said you're staying here." "You're a fucking crazy man just like your friend." "No, I'm crazier than he is." "If you don't let me out of here, I'll scream." "If you scream, I'm going to tape your mouth shut." "And I'm going to tie you to the bed." "No you won't." "Oh, yeah?" "Try it." "Now, I don't like doing this." "I had a tough time tying up my dog." "But one day I decided not to tie him up." "And he ran out in the street." "And he got hit by a car." "I don't want the same thing to happen to you." "I mean, I'd hope that you don't run down the street" "And get hit by a car." "I like you, Dee." "And I don't want to see you get hurt." "[Mumbling]" "You want to say something?" "You're not going to scream." "[Mumbling]" "Now, got a feeling you're going to scream." "You're going to scream." "[Mumbling]" "OK." "I'll fuck you if you let me go." "Dee, we're not going to have sex, OK?" "Why not?" "Don't you think I'm pretty." "I think you're beautiful." "But you'd be only having sex with me." "So I'd let you go." "I don't want that." "Why not?" "Dee, look, I gotta go take care of something" "That I should have taken care of a long time ago." "I promise to let you go when I get back." "What are you going to do?" "All right, all right, you know the artist," "The woman... the women who was just here" "And wanted to paint your picture." "Yeah." "I'm going to kill her." "You're going to kill her?" "Yes." "Why?" "She's a vampire." "She's a vampire." "Yes." "She takes homeless girls like yourself," "And she paints still-life renderings of their bodies" "With their blood." "You're insane." "No, I'm not insane." "To be completely honest with you," "I just never told anybody before." "And you're a vampire too." "No." "No, I'm her assistant." "I find her models, and then once she's painted them," "I take their bodies, and I bury them." "Why do you do that?" "Because if don't, she's threatened" "To turn me into a vampire." "You don't want to be a vampire?" "No." "No, I want to be an artist." "I don't understand." "It's simple." "Look, about six months ago, I went to an art museum." "[Music playing]" "Now, this would look good on our wall." "That's tacky, Bill." "Tacky?" "Well, I'm not the one who ladens the wall with Mapletons." "It's Maplethorpe." "And he's a genius." "Maplethorpe is a genius?" "You think everyone's a genius." "I don't think you're a genius." "Oh, well, screw you." "I'm just kidding." "Don't talk to me." "I'm mad at you." "It is tacky." "[Music playing]" "You like this one?" "Yeah, yeah, very much." "How does it make you feel?" "I'm not quite sure, but alive, you know?" "But it seems to be about death." "It's not about death at all." "It's about rebirth." "It's interesting you see it that way." "It is that way." "How can you be so sure?" "I mean, the artist may have intended" "Something entirely different." "Because I envy artists." "And you painted this?" "Yes." "Well, it's really amazing." "Thank you." "Are you also an artist?" "I'm an aspiring artist." "I paint." "But I haven't quite found my style yet." "Well, the search isn't that difficult." "You just paint from the heart." "Is that what you do?" "Yes." "Do you have any other paintings here in the gallery." "I'd love to see more of your work." "No." "I'm working on a collection for a gallery across town." "Wow!" "When's it... when's it open?" "Four months." "That's great." "[Music playing]" "Would you like to be my apprentice?" "Excuse me?" "I need an apprentice, someone to assist me while I work." "I'd like for you to be that person." "Why me?" "I mean, you don't even know me." "I know enough about you." "Besides, it may help you find that style" "You've been searching for." "Yeah." "Possibly." "What's your name?" "Edmond." "Do I excite you, Edmond?" "Yes." "Yes, you do." "You want to fuck me, Edmond?" "Yes." "Yes, I do." "Ah." "Do you want to fuck me now, Edmond?" "Yes." "[Music playing]" "Hey, Earth to psycho." "I'm not a psycho, all right?" "Look, everything I told you is the truth." "All right, so... so then what did she do?" "Did she bite your neck?" "You know, Dee, this isn't a fucking joke, all right?" "Well, I'm not laughing over here." "Jesus, just untie me, would you?" "So I can get the hell out of here." "EDMOND:" "Would you just calm down." "You're just like your friend." "You're both completely fucked up." "Dee, I'm going to let you go in a couple of hours, all right?" "I'm not going to hurt you." "Fuck." "I feel something for you." "I mean, I don't know what it is, but it's something strong." "I can't explain it." "What are you talking about?" "EDMOND:" "I don't know." "I mean, I'm not quite sure." "I've never felt this way before." "I mean, I feel some strong connection with you." "I know it sounds stupid, but..." "And it's... it's how I feel." "I mean, you think I'm insane." "And that's totally understandable." "But I'm telling you the truth." "That woman who wants to paint your picture... she" "Is a vampire." "She wants to paint your picture with the blood" "That flows through your body." "How can you be so sure?" "Because I know." "Well, if she's a vampire." "How come... how come she can walk around during the day?" "Well, she's not a vampire in the traditional sense." "I mean, she bites people on the neck," "And she feeds off their blood." "But other than that, she's pretty normal." "What about crosses?" "Don't they hurt her?" "I don't know." "Oh, Jesus, man, stop fucking with me." "Wait a minute." "What's going on here with this lady?" "Dad, you scared me." "Oh, you scared me too, son." "Why do you have this girl tied to the bed?" "Hey, I ain't fucking no old man." "Hey, watch your language." "This is my father." "Your son is out of his mind." "He's keeping me prisoner here." "What in the world is going with this lady." "This is crazy." "Jesus, man, let me go you fucking faggot... you" "Piece of shit... you cocksucker." "Oh." "What the... get the fuck..." "Get that fucking... ohh." "Mmm." "Come on, pop." "Come on, let's go." "[Muffled scream]" "There's a perfectly good reason for all of this, OK?" "And I'll explain everything to you later." "But right now, I need you to watch her" "For me for a couple of hours while I" "Go take care of something." "MARVIN:" "What are you talking about?" "You know what this is?" "This is kidnapping." " Dad, look..." " No." " Listen." " I can't." "I can't." "Listen." "Listen." "Just make sure she doesn't get out of those robes, OK?" "What's going on?" "Are you in some kind of trouble?" "EDMOND:" "No, I'm not." "Everything is fine." "This is crazy." "I mean, you got a girl tied up." "What's going on?" "Dad, look, what's the big deal?" "You used to tie mom to the bed all the time." "Well, how did you know?" "Do you know about that?" "EDMOND:" "Dad, look, you don't have to have" "A conversation with her." "Just entertain her." "All right?" "Do one of those old vaudeville routines for her." "Do... do the Durante impersonation." "MARVIN:" "Want me to to do it?" "You'd like me to do it for you?" "I'll do it for you, all right?" "How's that?" "Like that?" "That's great, dead." "(DURANTE VOICE) Everybody's trying to get into the act." "Hello, Edmond." "Who tied that girl in there?" " That's great." " How did you like that?" "That's phenomenal." "Look, dad, do it for her." "OK?" "OK." " I got to go." " Where you going?" "Come here Edmond." "You got me worried." "Please, don't go." "Dad, look, there's nothing to worry about." "Everything's OK." "All right, before you go, will you give your dad a hug?" "Yeah." "All right." "OK." "I love you." "I love you too, Pop." "Take care, take care." "All right." "CONNER:" "Oh, no, no, wait, whoa, whoa, I'm sorry." "I didn't mean to call you a bitch." "No." "You're not a bitch." "No, what you are is a fine-looking woman." "You deserve to be treated better like that, baby." "You deserve respect." "You taste good." "Mmm." "You like that?" "Yeah." "Oh, oh." "So hard." "I'm sorry sweetie." "Oh, oh, god." "Oh, too hard." "[Crunching]" "Hey, that hurts." "[Crunching]" "[Screaming]" "Ah!" "What are you doing?" "You crazy." "God." "Oh [screaming] Oh, god, get away from me." "[Crying]" "Nobody loves me." "[Screaming]" "Oh, my god." "Oh, oh." "[Crunching]" "[Screaming]" "[Music playing]" "Hello, sweetie pie." "[Muffled talking]" "You know, I'm not supposed to take off your tape." "My son, Edmond's afraid that you'll scream." "[Muffled talking]" "Hey, what's going on, anyway?" "DEE: [muffled talking]" "Oh, I see, you can't talk because you got the tape on." "I understand." "Listen, are you hungry?" "Can I make you something in the kitchen?" "Something nice?" "Mhm." "How about if I make you some nice meatballs?" "Hmm." "I make the good, Italian, delicious meatballs, all right?" " [muffled talking]" " OK." "How does that sound?" "Good?" "Mhm." "Now, you be nice and relax, and I'll be right back." "I am going to make it up." "All right, sweetheart?" " Mhm." " OK, be a good girl, all right?" "[Door knock]" "Hey, Conner." "Edmond." "You're bleeding." "Yeah, I may have punched myself in the face shadow boxing." "You're naked." "Yeah, ah, well, what are you fucking doing here, Evan?" "Listen, man, I was wondering if you wanted" "To go meet my artist friend?" "Right now." "Now?" "Right now?" "Now." "Fuck yeah." "Wait here while I get some clothes on, all right?" "[Dog barking]" "EDMOND (VOICEOVER):" "Man, it smells funny in here." "And Conner had a little dick." "Dude, your house smells funny." "CONNER:" "Yeah." "I, uh, I think there's a dead rat under the sink." "It smells familiar." "Hey, so you said you were banging this artist, right?" "Yeah, something like that." "Yeah, you know, I saw the picture" "In the paper the other day that said" "She's got a show going up at the art gallery in a few days." "Yeah, tomorrow." "Tomorrow, huh?" "Yeah." "You told her about me, right?" "Actually, man, she asked me to tell you to stop by." "No shit?" "Yeah." "How did you say you cut your lip again?" "I told you." "I cut myself in the face shadowboxing." "Can I... can I ask you something?" "Sure." "You believe in vampires?" "Why do you ask that?" "Well, you know, I mean, you and I are pretty good friends," "You know?" "I'd like to think that I can ask you anything." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "You can, Edmond." "All right, so I'm asking." "Do you believe in vampires?" "What if I said that I do?" "Then I'm going to tell you that the artist that I'm taking you" "To meet right now is a vampire." "And I need your help in killing her." "OK, what if I say that I don't?" "Then I'm going to tell you the same thing." "She's a vampire?" "Dude, you didn't answer my question." "What's your question again?" "Do you believe in vampires, man?" "Yeah." "I believe in vampires." "Are you in?" "Is she really a vampire?" "Absolutely." "Hey, man, then I'm fucking in." "Far out." "EDMOND:" "All right, no, I'm not exactly sure how we're" "Going to go about doing this." "I can't fucking believe this." "We're actually driving to the artists house" "Right now to drive a stake through her heart." "Yeah, I mean, I figured you just hold her down, OK?" "And I'm going to take the fucking stake," "And I'm going to jam into her heart three times." "You want me to hold her down while you stab her?" "Yeah." "Oh, OK." "How long have you known that's she's been a vampire, Edmond?" "Basically, since the first night I met her." "I thought you fucked her the first time you met her?" "I did fuck her." "Look, all right, listen, it was after we'd finished having sex," "OK?" "EDMOND (VOICEOVER):" "We left the art gallery," "And we went back to her place, and you know," "We fucked each other." "It was nice." "I mean, well, anyways, we're lying there in the floor." "We're talking." "We're laughing, and then out of the blue she tells me" "She's a vampire." "I mean, I'm not going to believe something like that." "I'm not that stupid." "So I called her bluff." "She gets up." "She walks down the hall." "She comes fucking back in with this crazy smile on her face" "With a fucking knife in her hand." "She's staring down at me." "And she plunges it right into her stomach, man." "Blood is spurting everywhere." "I'm like, what the fuck, man." "I jump up." "I'm freaking the fuck out." "I start running back down the hallway." "I go to grab this phone." "I'm thinking I've got to call an ambulance." "All of a sudden, she comes back there." "She's looking at me." "And she says, look, Edmond." "I look down there, and her stomach is completely unharmed." "I look up, man, she's got these demonic eyes, man." "They're like glowing red." "She's got these fucking fangs." "She's smiling at me." "I freak out." "I start stumbling back down the hallway." "Then she starts like walking after me" "In this dubious, predatory fashion." "She starts telling me that she wants me to be" "Her lover for an eternity." "I mean, she wants to turn me into a fucking vampire." "You'll find it very rewarding, she said." "Then there was like no place to go." "And then she tries to bite me." "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" "What are you doing?" "What are you doing?" "I've waited my whole afterlife to meet you." "Look, we can't do this." "I don't want to be a vampire." "I don't want to live for eternity." "And I don't want to spend the rest of my existence" "With just one person." "That thought is revolting to me." "I'm revolting to you?" "No, you're not revolting to me." "I just don't want to be your little after life long mate." "I don't want to be what you are." "You're beautiful." "You're talented." "You're a bit eccentric." "And that's good." "Those are all fine attributes that I look for a girlfriend." "But I'm not the type the person who likes to come in." "And if you think by turning me into a" "Vampire you're going to get an eternity" "Of love poems and roses..." "I hate roses." "And faithful monogamy, then you're wrong." "I don't want that." "I don't care what you want." "Whoa, whoa, whoa, please, please, please, look," "I just thought I was supposed to be your servant." "I don't want any part of this." "I don't want to be a vampire." "I detest the taste of blood." "Fine, I'll allow you to remain a human being." "But in exchange, you'll do exactly as I say." "OK, fine." "If you try to fuck with me, I won't hesitate" "To turn you into a vampire." "And now you want to kill her." "Yeah." "And your plan... you drive to her house," "Take a piece of wood, and jab her" "In the chest a couple of times." "Yeah, that's right." "All right, let me ask you a question." "Didn't you tell me a couple of minutes" "Ago that Diana once took a kitchen knife" "And stabs herself in the gut with it?" "Yeah." "So what the fuck makes you think" "That taking a piece of wood and jabbing her in the chest" "Is going to do anything?" "Well, OK, I hadn't thought of that." "So... so kill that plan, OK?" "Sure, that's easy enough." "If only killing Diana were that easy." "Hello, sweetie pie, here's the meatballs." "Mangia, mangia, Italiana." "Listen, you're going to enjoy these." "You know what this is?" "This is an Italian recipe." "Believe it or not, it was my great-great-grandmother's" "Recipe." "Bless her soul." "She was great." "Smell them." "Ah, look, smell." "Oh." "Oh." "DEE:" "Mmm." "I forgot about the tape." "I'm sorry." "I forgot about the tape." "Do... do you want me to remove the tape?" "Oh, I wish show I knew what was going on." "Oh, I'll tell you what's going on." "Your son's a fucking fruit loop." "Wait a minute." "Hold on." "Take it easy." "Listen, I came over here because I" "Thought we were going to... and instead," "He ends up tying me to the bed." "You've got to let me go before he comes back." "I can't do that." "Why not?" "My son told me to make sure that you didn't get out." "But your son's out of his fucking mind." "Oh, no, no." "My Edmond's a good boy." "Oh, come on, you senile motherfucker." "Let me out of here." "Now, listen, you don't have to be talking like that." "Suck a dick you wrinkled, raisin-looking motherfucker." "Let me out of here." "You should have more respect here." "Jesus Christ, fucking you!" "All right." "Oh, you be quiet, girl." "I'm going to be nice." "I'm going to sing a nice song for you." "Be quiet." "Easy, easy, easy." "Listen, just try to calm down." "My son Edmond will be here in a few minutes, all right?" "And he'll straighten this whole thing out." "Now, in the meantime, I'm going to sing you a beautiful song," "A Canadian song that I wrote." "Would you like to hear it, sweetie pie?" "OK?" "(SINGING) In old Montreal, they are having a ball." "It's the greatest place in town." "If you like to eat where the people meet," "It's on St. Dennis Street." "You could see the bell door hid above that Notre Dame" "As far as Pont Champlain, and all" "The French all say parlais vous francais all over Chinatown." "There are skyways and byways that tunnel through the town." "And the [inaudible]." "[Music playing]" "[Music playing]" "[Crash]" "Oh, oh." "Ah!" "Ah!" "[Groaning]" "[Crack]" "[Crash]" "What's all this about, Edmond?" "I'm not going to be your servant anymore." "I thought you wanted to be a painter." "I thought you were going to be my pupil." "It's over, Diana." "I'm going to kill you." "It's the thing I love about you, Edmond." "You're so determined sometimes." "But let me ask you, how do you plan to do that?" "Oh, it's the girl, isn't it?" "Yeah." "You've fallen in love with that girl." "Don't be preposterous." "I don't even know her." "I just want to live a normal life again." "The first time I met you, I fell in love with you." "What's so preposterous about it?" "What's this?" "Hmm, oooh, that's not going to do any good." "And what else [click] do we have here?" "Hmm, a stake, oh, yummy." "And this must be Conner." "I've heard a lot about you." "I see Edmond here has recruited you to assist in destroying me." "I just wanted to meet you." "And I you." "When I saw you did to that girl's precious neck," "I knew you were different." "Don't listen to her, man." "She said the same thing to me." "Put the stake down, Conner." "I know you don't want to hurt me." "Die, whore, die." "[Stab]" "[Screaming]" "Boo." "Oh!" "Jimminy crickets." "Wood, fire, crosses, holy water..." "You can't learn about the weaknesses of a vampire" "From books and movies." "It doesn't work that way in the real world." "In the real world, only a vampire can kill a vampire." "What?" "Nice try though." "Valiant effort to stop my reign of terror." "But really, Edmond, is what I'm doing so wrong?" "I'm revolutionizing the art world, painting nudes" "With the life blood that allows these bodies" "To live and breathe." "That is a totally original artistic concept and one" "That I truly believe is worth the lives of a mere dozen" "Expendable creatures." "You're an abomination." "No, Edmond, you're the abomination, you" "And the billions of shitless human feeblings" "That occupy this planet." "Your kind will never replace us." "I never wanted that." "All I wanted was a companion." "[Loud sound]" "[Music playing]" "DAD:" "Hiya, sweetie pie." "I'm going to give you my imitation" "Of Jimmy "Schnozzle" Durante." "Oh, boy, you're going to like it." "(DURANTE VOICE) Everybody is trying to get into the act." "What happened to you, baby?" "You know I'm mortified." "I don't understand this." "Oh, baby, it's preposterous." "Who tied you to that bed?" "CONNER:" "You know what I always thought" "Would have made a cool vampire?" "Carly Simon." "She had the mouth for it, you know?" "Conner." "Yeah?" "Where's Diana?" "She's gone, man." "You look different, man." "CONNER:" "I feel different, Edmond." "She turned you into a vampire, didn't she?" "Edmond, what makes you think that I want to be a vampire?" "Because you're one fucked up individual, man." "Oh, see, now that's not nice." "I thought we were supposed to be friends." "We are." "So what happened to your neck?" "CONNER:" "OK, so you figured it out." "She bit me." "And how you feel about that?" "Well, I mean, considering that I asked her to do it," "Pretty good." "Why do you want to be a vampire, man?" "CONNER:" "Why do you want to be an artist, Edmond?" "Why does my nephew, Charlie, want to be a fireman?" "I've just always wanted to be a vampire." "You want to live forever?" "You want to feed off the blood of innocent people?" "CONNER:" "See, now, actually, I've always had a strong attraction" "To the taste of blood, but shit, man, every time I bite a woman," "She thinks I'm a freak." "But now I'm a vampire, my actions are justified." "Shit, man, I don't know what to say." "Then shut up, Edmond because you're starting" "To act like a big pussy." "Where's Diana now?" "You know, to be a vampire, she's really no" "Different than any other chick." "I mean, as soon as she knocked your ass out," "She started screaming shit like I'm" "Going to kill that little bitch and then he'll see that I'm" "The only true love for him." "What the hell is she talking about?" "She's jealous, man." "She's upset." "Oh, well, you know, then she bit me on the neck," "And she told me to be a vampire as" "Soon as I make my first kill." "And then she stormed out of the house like a madwoman." "Your first kill." "Yeah." "Obviously, I can't make the transformation" "From human to vampire until I've killed someone." "So you're not a vampire yet." "Not exactly." "So what's with the fucking fangs, man?" "They're fake." "I just couldn't [inaudible] of my own." "Dude, so all you got to do is kill somebody," "And then you're a vampire?" "That's right." "And guess who it is that I'm going to kill?" "Oh, shit." "Let me take a wild guess, me." "Well, obviously." "Well, fine, man." "Let's get this shit over with." "I'm sorry about this, Edmond." "[Music playing]" "[Punch]" "[Punches]" "[Bombs sound]" "[Machine gun sound]" "[Bombs sound]" "[Punches]" "[Explosions]" "[Punch]" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Ow!" "Oh!" "Oh, fucking faggot." "I think you broke my fucking tooth." "Oh, fucking shit, man, I think I broke my hand." "Oh, fuck." "How the fuck can I be a vampire without a tooth." "Oh, fuck." "How can I be an artist without a hand?" "Oh, oh, fuck." "What the... what the fuck are we doing, man?" "Man, this is stupid." "Oh, fuck, tell me about it, bro." "So how does it feel to be a vampire?" "I'm not a vampire yet." "That's right, man." "How does it feel to be a half vampire?" "Well, actually, I fell kind of horny." "Dude, you're fucking always horny." "Yeah, but I feel like my sex drive been turned up" "If you're not just... you know?" "Man, I swear I could fuck a snake hole right now." "You know what I'm saying?" "Oh, shit man, I'm fucking sorry I broke your tooth." "It's all right." "Man, I'm sorry I tried to kill you." "Dude, It's fucking my fault." "I fucking brought" "You in to all this shit." "What are you going to do, right?" "Oh, shit, man." "I needed a hug." "Ah, you motherfucker!" "You fucking knew I was going to do it." "Ah, that's what you did." "And take that." "Oh!" "I'm sorry, man." "What are you going to do?" "[Crash]" "[Music playing]" "EDMOND:" "Dad?" "Pop, you in here?" "Dad?" "Oh, my god." "Oh, my god." "Dad." "Jesus Christ." "Dad?" "You OK?" "You alive?" "Oh, dad." "Oh." "Are you hurt, dad?" "Are you OK?" "I don't know, son." "How do you feel, pop?" "I feel kind of horny, son." "Horny?" "Yeah, I feel like I could fuck a snake hole right now." "Wait a second." "Oh, shit." "Oh, my god." "What is it?" "What is it, son?" "Oh, come on." "Get up, dad." "All right." "OK." "[Music playing]" "Oh, you all right, dad?" "Edmond, the girl... this lady dressed in a sexy outfit," "She barged right in the middle of my Jimmy Durante act." "And she took the girl." "I know, pop." "I tried to stop her, but I couldn't." "She's very strong, Edmond." "And she he hit me so hard in the face, I went out like a light." "Jesus Christ, what the hell am I going to do?" "Oh, I got an idea." "How about going downtown, and let's pick us up a couple" "Of hookers, all right?" "Prostitutes?" "Dad, I got to show you something." "Wait." "Can it wait?" "Can it wait?" "Listen, I really want to have sex, Edmond." "I really want to have sex, all right?" "All right, take a look." "Oh, my, look at that, son." "You know what those are, dad?" "Yeah, they look like holes." "That's right, holes." "Yeah." "Pop, you were bitten by a vampire." "A vampire?" "Edmond, what's got into you lately?" "Look, Marguerite at Ball Street has got all kinds of hookers." "Dad, will you get your mind out of the gutter for a second, OK?" "What's the problem?" "The problem is you were bitten by a vampire." "Diana broke in, she bit you on the neck," "And she took Dee, the girl I love, the girl tied to the bed." "Who's Diana?" "Diana is the woman I work for." "She's going to kill Dee if I don't get down" "To the graveyard to save here." "Well, I thought you said you worked in a slaughterhouse." "No, dad, I worked for a vampire, a vampire named Diana." "But you said you slaughtered hogs." "Pop, I made all that shit up, OK?" "Yeah." "I work for a woman named Diana." "And this Diana you say is the vampire." "That's right." "So what are you going to do about it?" "Well, I got to kill her, pop." "It's the only way I can save Dee." "How are you going to do it?" "Hell, no, I mean, only a vampire..." "What?" "Only a vampire can kill another vampire." "I've got an idea, Pop, come on." "Where are we going?" "We're going downtown." "Well, we're going to go pick up some hookers." "No, dad, we're not going to go pick up hookers." "Here." "Grab your coat." "Come on." "Let's go." "Oh, boy, I'm going downtown just like crazy." " No, no." " I want a young one." "You know, son?" "I want a young girl." "Oh." "Pop, just drop the hookers thing." "I'm very horny." "I'm very horny." "Here we go." "All right, pop." "Oh, I love them." "We're going downtown, son, come on." "Let's pick up some nice hookers." "Pop, will you shut up about the hookers." "EDMOND:" "The woman who bit you on the neck, she's an evil woman." "She's probably the most evil woman alive today." "MARVIN:" "OK, I understand that, Edmond." "EDMOND:" "Now, I've tried to kill her, but I can't." "MARVIN:" "Why not?" "EDMOND:" "Because only a vampire can kill another vampire." "MARVIN:" "Well, then, in that case," "Let's go find another vampire." "EDMOND:" "Dad, I don't know of any other vampires." "MARVIN:" "Well, who's going to kill her?" "EDMOND:" "You are." "MARVIN:" "Me?" "EDMOND:" "Yes, All right, she bit you on the neck." "That means you are a half vampire." "All you got to do is kill somebody," "And you're going to be a complete vampire." "MARVIN:" "Oh, son, what are you trying to say?" "It's simple, dad." "I'm going to get a homeless guy." "I'm going to bring him in here to the alleyway, OK?" "I'm going to take a knife and jab it in its neck" "A couple of times." "Blood is going to start splurting out." "You position your mouth underneath the blood," "You take a few sips, and voila, you're a vampire." "Then we proceed with the plan." "But, it's a [inaudible]." "I can't kill anybody." "Dad, listen, hey, vampires, they get laid a lot." "Ooh, really?" "Yeah." "I..." "Bella Lugosi... he got more pussy, uh, by playing Dracula" "Than you can shake a stick at." "I heard he was a ladies man." "He's like the Wilt Chamberlain of horror movies." "I never knew that then." "Yeah, he got sucked off by more girls offscreen" "Than he sucked onscreen." "Wow!" "Gosh, hey, who are we going to kill?" "Come on." "That disgusting looking human being right there." "Gosh." "You couldn't get anyone more clean then that?" "That guy is filthy." "Dad, you're not going to sleep with the guy." "You're just going to drink his blood." "Yeah, but you're at least going to look" "Around and pick up someone more attractive than that." "What does it matter?" "Oh." "You don't love Indian food because of the way" "It looks, do you?" "Yeah." "All right, look." "I want you to go into the alleyway, OK?" "Take this knife." "I'm going to bring him around the corner." "When I come around the corner, you stab him." "OK." "All right, then." "All right?" "OK." "OK." "[Dog barking]" "Hey, fella, can you help a guy out?" "Yeah." "What kind of help do you need?" "I need some money to get my prescription bottle filled." "EDMOND:" "All right, I'll help you out." "Come on." "I've got a bad heart." "Yeah?" "It's why I take medicine." "Come on." "When I came back from Vietnam, that's when it started." "[Music playing]" "Marvin do it, stab him." "Hey, hey, what is this?" "Go Marvin, go." "I thought you were going to help me." "Marvin, come on." "Kill him." "MARVIN:" "I can't kid." "Why do you keep calling me Marvin?" "I don't know, but fuck it, dad, kill him." "I can't." "Here." "You do it." "What are you doing?" "Trying to kill me, huh?" "You can't just... you can't just take our knife like that." "Sure, I can." "Look, you just tried to take my life." "Your life is worthless." "That knife cost me $2." "Shutup!" "Oh, oh, this is great, dad." "This is the second time tonight somebody tried to stick" "Something sharp into my neck." "Got that knife Where's your knife?" "Oh!" "[Screaming]" "Edmond, what's happening?" "He's having a heart attack." "Oh." "What are you doing?" "Looking for the hear medicine?" "What?" "He had the prescription here." "Let me find it." "Oh, it's empty." "Do you want me to call an ambulance?" "Dad, don't be ridiculous." "Fine, now's our chance." "Kill him." "I can't." "Kill him, dad." "I can't." "I see the life going out of his eyes." "Come on, dad, kill him." "I can't." "Dad, it's not even like you're killing him." "You're just putting him out of his misery." "Come on." "All right, all right, I'll do it." "[Stab]" "Oh!" "Oh!" "OK, pop, drink that." "No, I can't, Edmond." "Come on, dad, drink it, hurry." "No, you'll have to get someone else to drink it." "I can't drink it, Edmond." "All right, pop, there you go." "Now, drink that." "Oh, god." "I can't drink that." "Pop, come on." "I know it seems like we're committing unforgivable crimes" "Against humanity." "But it's for the right reasons." "Drink it." "You know, we're going to burn in hell for this." "No, people responsible for stopping the greatest evil" "Of all time don't burn in hell." "I can't imagine what your mother" "Is thinking about this, Edmond." "Corpses don't think." "Drink it." "It's a horrible thing to say." "Dad, look, mom would be proud of you." "Now, drink that." "But you could have made it with some tomato juice or something." "Pop, would you hurry up and drink it." "If you don't drink it now, you're going to be holding" "A bottle with a scab in it." "All right, I'll drink it." "I'll drink it." "How was it?" "Bloody awful." "OK, come on." "Pop, how do you feel?" " Oh, I feel hungry." " Hungry?" "I'm very hungry." "OK." "And I'm horny, son." "You know something I feel right now, Edmond." "I can eat a horse." "Yeah?" "Wait, wait, wait." "Is that an ogre out there?" "Goddammit, pop, get your mind out of the gutter." "Stop thinking about hookers for a fucking second." "You know you've got a filthy mouth talking" "To your dad like bit like that." "Oh, you should talk, pop." "Yeah, what do you mean?" "Like, dad, look, Jesus Christ, you're a vampire, dad." "What?" "You're a vampire, dad." "You're a vampire." "Oh, I got it." "Oh, wow!" "Oh." " Oh, my god." " I got teeth." "Oh, my fucking god." "Wow!" "Damn." "It's great dad." "It looks fucking great." "Where [inaudible]." "Ah!" "Yeah." "All right." "Hey, hey, what does this mean?" "Well, pop, uh, it means that nobody's" "Ever going to say that your bark is worse than your bite." "Oh, come on, Edmond." "No more jokes." "Stop now." "Let me tell you something." "I know enough about vampires to know that my life is going" "To be different from now on." "That's right, pop." "Fuck, I mean everything's..." "Nothing's going" "To be the same anymore." "What do you mean nothing is going to be the same?" "Well, vampires can't die, dad." "Oh, they can't die?" "No." "In other words, you're telling me that I can never die?" "No." "No." "Not unless you're killed by another vampire." "Oh." "It's too bad, Edmond." "It's too bad." "I was looking forward to joining your mother soon." "Oh, I wanted to join your mother soon." "[Music playing]" "Hey, Edmond, why are you putting your jacket on?" "Mosquitoes, pop." "I hate the fucking bloodsuckers." "Whoa, whoa, Edmond, the sun, oh!" "Dad, what are you doing?" "The sun can't hurt you." "Oh, oh, I'd like to say I was a vampire." "You are, pop, but the sun is not going to hurt you." "And you can't even get suntan." "Oh, I see." "Very interesting." "Don't be afraid of the sun, pop." "Edmond, what are we doing here?" "DIANA:" "We've been expecting you." "Thanks for joining the party." "Hello, Diana." "So I see you escaped the murderous intentions" "Of your friend, Conner." "Yeah." "I had to kill him." "He was a good friend of mine." "And that wasn't easy." "Aren't I your friend?" "Once, but not anymore." "That makes me sad to hear." "It's over, Diana." "You give us the girl, and we'll let you live." "You have no choice but to let me live." "Only a vampire can kill a vampire." "Exactly." "Pop, show your teeth." "DAD: [growling] I got him in, yeah." "I got him." "[Growling]" "Me and my old man are here to stop you." "I wondered how far you'd go." "You'd sacrifice your own father to see me dead?" "I don't know if that's valiant or vulgar." "My pop's a vampire, sure, that's a problem." "But we'll settle it like we settle" "All of our family problems, OK?" "Thanks, son, thank you very much." "Why are you doing this, Edmond?" "Why have you suddenly decided that you want to kill me?" "Well, there's a lot of horrible things" "That I'll never forgive myself for." "But I'm going to try." "And I figured killing you would be a good place to start." "Then kill me, if you can." "[Loud sound]" "Where is she?" "Pop, she's back here." "[Music playing]" "Hey, she's getting away." "Hey, get in the car." "No, you drive." "I haven't driven a... get in the car." "Dad, fuck it." "Just drive." "Get in the back seat." "Come on." "Let's get out of here." "Come on." "All right, go pop, go." "We can get her." "[Music playing]" "All right, dad, pull up right beside the car." "I'm going to jump out." "DAD:" "Goddammit, Edmond." "We're almost there." "Pull up." "Pull up beside their car." "Get a little closer." "We're almost there." "We're almost there." "I am." "I am." "[Crash]" "Oh!" "[Crash]" "[Screaming]" "[Crash]" "DAD:" "Edmond." "Oh, my god, Edmond." "[Crack]" "Oh!" "DAD:" "Diana, die." "[Stab]" "[Roar]" "[Growling]" "[Roar]" "[Music playing]" "[Explosion]" "Thanks, pop." "Don't mention it son." "Are you OK?" "I'm fine." "You saved my life." "I had to." "Pop, how do you feel?" "Well, I'm all right, son." "I guess, but I feel a little..." "Little strange, you know?" "And I..." "I'm hungry." "Right now, you know, Edmond, I ain't craving for a hamburger" "If you know what I'm talking about." "Pop, there's got to be someone somewhere that can help you." "Maybe, maybe." "Come sit by me." "First he turned you into a vampire, huh?" "DAD:" "Yeah." "DEE:" "Well, vampires are really trendy these days." "Yeah." "The goth scene is huge." "I wouldn't get too down about it." "Well, I feel a little better now that you said that." "Thank you very much." "Thank you very much." "So what happens now?" "Well, I thought I'd paint your picture." "You want to be an artist, huh?" "Yep, that's all I've ever wanted to be." "You know?" "Somebody once told me if you want to paint a good picture," "You've got to paint from the heart." "So let's begin." "[Music playing]"