"Look, Hickle you're the head of the ClA" "Your attempt to overthrow Castro at the Bay of Pigs was so inept... a circus clown wouldn't take credit for it I want an explanation" "Senator, we sent you our complete internal review of the matter" "One page I consider this completely unacceptable" "Why do you think I fought on the Beaches at Normandy" "To preserve the last best hope of mankind or just because I wanted my kneecaps shattered" "Well, I can't say, I really don't know you that well l want an answer" "And according to this, the only man who can give it to me is officer" "Quimp, Allen Quimp" "Gee, this is so exciting the U.S. Senate and a secret to boot" "Hey, everybody" "Allen, get a grip" "Gentlemen, you have before you photographs, documents and other... pertinent information on Officer Quimp's life and work" "Officer Quimp, when did you join the company 1959" "TOP SECRET" "What's your area of the expertise?" "Guerrilla warfare, torture, assassination" "Grammar" "Gram..." "Did he say grammar" "Grammar" "Grammar, yes, I was a grammar teacher before I joined the ClA" "Language is my love, although I did do some Driver's Ed instruction mostly I was the main grammar teacher at Greenwich Prep" "Although also I did substitute for the Spanish teacher if that was ever necessary Buenos tardes, estudiantes" "Also, I knew a little Russian" "You spoke Russian?" "No..." "I knew a little Russian" "He worked at our country club you know I just feel that all the problems facing... our nation today stem from failure to communicate, thus the Cold War" "But before there could be parity in the world there must be clarity in the word you know that I like to say I like to say a country that understands the proper use of the objective pronouns is a country with the..." "proper objectives I don't understand a thing he's talking about" "Yes, very commendable" "Can you tell us about the Bay of Pigs?" "Oh that, well that pretty much started the night we decided to make our attic into an office I hadn't joined The Company yet and Daisy that's my wife, Daisy" "She and Kissy, that's our little dog came up to join me, and Daisy and I spent the waning minutes of the day, talking as we always did, about my work" "Allen, when are you going to find a real job" "Teaching grammar is a real job" "Allen, smart people don't become teachers" "Do you think President Eisendhower..." "Though, oh, what should I do with my life?" "Save the free world or increase man's understanding of the comma" "Daisy, please." "Say what you like about me but leave the comma out of this" "Now my dream is that you take an upper management position at a Blue Chip Wall ST firm" "And you get a bonus so big our neighbor's will throw up and we can put in a pool and hire a maid" "Now if that makes me a Dewey-eyed idealist, so be it" "Daisy, what I'm doing may not pay like a Wall Street job lt doesn't lt's just as a valuable, you know the less we rely on grammar the more we sound like animals" "Not a good idea in the nuclear age" "As Shaw put it so brilliantly in Pygamalion" "Language is what separates us from the animals" "Well, quote my favourite philosopher, me money is what separates us from the animals" "For instance look at Kissy, she can be poor and still have a fur coat I cannot" "The reason she was so set on having a fur was that there was the benefit coming up at The Arts Center" "And the great Russian ballet dancer Rudolph Petrov, was going to perform" "Well, Daisy was determined to go to that benefit looking her best" "But since my salary as a teacher left me you know, unable to buy her what she wanted" "Daisy took matters into her own hands" "What are you doing here?" "Well, everyone at the benefit is going to be wearing some kind of fur except me..." "Poor Mrs. For-Some-Dumb-Reason- She-Married-A-School-Teacher" "So I took your typewriter and a number of your things I never much cared for and I came here to pawn them" "You were going topawn my typewriter to buy yourself coat?" "Isn't it straight out of O'henry?" "Look, I wanted help her, I felt terrible..." "Officer Quimp?" "The Bay of Pigs?" "Oh, yes, I'm just coming that, so it all started that night in the attic... when I told her that I was working on a secret project" "Secret project" "Yes, I was writing a book that would blow the lid off one of the greatest scandals known in the free world" "The Grammar Crisis in the English Speaking World do you really think that's going To clutter the beaches next summer?" "Allen, for a book to sell it has to have sex and shame" "And people losing control of themselves like Peyton Place or the Bible" "Well, maybe I just need a juicier title but have faith in me, Daisy I do have faith in you, that's why I want you to get a real job with commuting and ulcers and a briefcase I can get engraved for you" "where you can get a secretary and I can get a maid" "That's I want, and I want it by the time of the Art Center benefit" "Sweetheart, I can't possibly" "Don't make me call Daddy" "This was the ultimate threat, if she called her father then he'd call me" "And before I knew it I'd be we'd be playing squash" "But, irritated as I was with Daisy I have toadmit she might be right" "A sexier title might shock the public into paying attention to my book" "THE NAKED AND THE PLURAL" "Greetings, cats and kiddies, this is Dick the Strict Deerly and the news is that white is changing... its format starting now our new call letters are WBLK and we're going to play the new... sound that will lift you off the ground" "that throbbing, bobbing new thing called rock'n roll" "What?" "What is this?" "This is terrible, that was my favourite station I've never heard anything like this in my life" "What is it?" "I love it" "Not since I'd first discovered dangling participates had anything thrilled me so much" "So I did something no one from Greenwich had ever done I went to Bridgeport looking for rock'n roll" "It's the most fantastic music you ever heard it's utterly without inhibition" "Speaking of being utterly without things look at my shoulders" "And look at those beautiful stoles on" "Betty Crichton and Sally Smith Johnson" "Of course, their husbands commute to New York to be vice-president of something" "That's why they sit near the window or by the fireplace" "And then there is our section" "Don't you think it's funny that everyone else in your family is so successful?" "Your brothers make a million dollars a year" "Chuck doesn't" "Well no, they don't pay astronauts that much ,but he's also an inventor" "Oh, please, like somebody's going to buy something called a compact disk" "Who wants smaller records?" "You'll get fewer songs" "Everyone thought that I'd marry someone respectable" "You know, if only I'd kept in touch with that nice roy Cohn" "Well, if you won't organize your job search I will" "Starting tomorrow, we're going to spend the afternoon together" "We're going to go through the want ads until we find something" "Clerk?" "No, part time, Heavens no" "Vice president, yes" "Allen?" "Time to do the want ads" "Hotsy plus totsy" "Allen" "At last I had found a safe place but not long because while I was gone..." "Daisy called her father and that meant it's 1959, Allen, a good time to be white American male" "Maybe the last good time you need to get your piece of the pie before somebody subdivides it" "I'm okay" "You have fallen asleep under the back wheel of the Cadillac of Life" "And I am here to pull you to safety" "Oh, God, oh, no" "Understand me now?" "I'm saying get a nine to five, three martini six figure job... like every other man in Connecticut within the month" "or I will get in my Cadillac and back up over you I've set up interviews, US Steel American Motors, Bon Vivant Soupt after school every day for as long as it takes you're getting a real job, like it or not" "Oh, but I can't" "Wet the rocks" "You don't think that crummy little job at the school is my real job to you?" "It's a front" "Don't boil me, boy, cut the excuses and wet the rocks" "This excuse is my work, I mean this is not an excuse, it's my work" "But I must demand total secrecy lf you reveal what I'm about to tell you lives could be lost" "I'm in the ClA" "The only way you could be in the ClA... is if it stood for Cowering idiots Association" "Exactly" "That's your answer?" "What makes me such a good agent is that it's so obvious I wouldn't be a good agent" "Yeah but... I mean think about it, the idea spy is a man who acts in a way that makes it impossible to believe that he's a spy" "So the standard for being right for the ClA's how wrong you're for the ClA" "Exactly" "Then you are perfect for the ClA" "Whew, Yes, the ClA" "This is exhilarating, this is exhilarating" "Now, what does this mean for us money-wise?" "Oh, well, you know, not that much because I have to appear to live off a schoolteacher's salary" "Off a schoolteacher's salary?" "Well, here's stun-a-rooni, I don't mind" "First of all, you're sacrificing for your country, What could you be more noble?" "Second, you're risking your life for democracy what could be more noble?" "And third, this is the perfect way to turn your book into a bestseller" "Yes, tell your own story what could be more lucrative?" "Oh, no, I can't, see, it's my secret life secret life" "Even better, I will write it" "Allen...isn't life full of the most touching twists?" "You know, dear... for a long time, I thought that everything would be so much better if you just... I don't know, died now you could die and I so hope you won't" "He just couldn't be in the ClA" "YALE:" "SKULL  BONE SECRET HEADQUARTERS" "38" "39" "30!" "Polish the pennie, too" "Sir, yes, sir" "Excuse me?" "Did you order the hot coffee enema?" "No, that was Mr. Bush." "He's at the paddling bench with Mr. Buckley" "Crunch, I need to ask a favour" "My son-in-law told me he's spy for the ClA" "Can you check for me?" "Oh, we never reveal our officers too risky you understand?" "Of course, I want you to know I'll do everything I can... to protect that job I got your ex-wife I'd hate for her to be jobless with only an increase in alimony... as a way to survive that would be hard for you" "What's your son-in-law's name?" "Take one, I don't want him to get the wrong impression of American breath" "Good evening, Doris, you look so pretty" "Hi, Doris" "Anytime, you want to go undercover with me, feel free, cia you later" "Good evening how are you?" "Have you been telling people" "Why would I want people to know that you're a noble brick in the wall against communism instead of just a balding grammar groupie" "Mr. Petrov, we loved you those tour jetes" "Yes, you are quite a jumper lf there's anything we can do while you're here, please let us know ln particular my husband could be of service, it's not well known... in actually has to be kept secret but" "my husband works for me..." "What?" "cia" "Friend Quimp?" "Hello there, Jumper" "This is American party custom?" "This is Quimp party custom sometimes I feel I have to get away" "Me, too I feel so oppressed" "You mean by the failure of the system the corruption of moral authority... and the exploitation of the artist by an unfeeling bureaucracy?" "Well, sure okay, that an my wife" "A man must be free" "You speak the words of my heart" "Thank you there, jumper, I don't think I've ever done that" "So you would support me?" "Well, not in any financial way, no, but you know, look, I'm all for a guy geeing free" "Where do you go during day?" "I'm a Grammar and Driver's Ed teacher over at Greenwich Prep" "Kids, this is an historic day for" "Greenwich Prep." "Because Rudolph Petrov" "Russia's premiere ballet dancer is touring our great land which some of you may recall from the geography is called the United States" "He was asked what he most wanted to see and he said a Driver's Ed Class" "Allen Quimp, start your engine" "Yes, sir, Jumper" "It's a thrill to meet you, Mr. Petrov When my asthma improves I want to be a ballerina" "Your handler wants in there, Jumper" "He is not just handler, he is KGB" "Please Quimpy, I wish to defecate" "Oh listen, I always tell the kids to do that before" "No..." "I mean defect, I wish to defect" "You want to leave Russia?" "Just as you're winning the space race?" "Please" "Jumper, I'm the wrong person to defect to I'm grammar, you want Mrs. Scobey current events" "Of course you're the right person you are Mr. cia" "Daisy" "Please, Quimpy, if you give me back to them, they'll send me to a camp or" "Or what?" "Or put me under house arrest alone in apartment with only my wife" "Nora, place your foot on the gas pedal Look both ways and while hot forgetting to use your turn signals, floor it..." "Stop car" "Where?" "I don't know where to go" "Nora, I know you're tense, but there's no sense in ending your sentence on a preposition" "Halt" "Use the wipers" "Stop car" "Step on it I'm trying" "Speedup, speed up, step on it slow down, slow down" "Nice work" "Nora, we'll never escape if you don't leave the practice circle" "Stop car, come back" "You better not take off any points for me driving on the lawn" "Where are you taking me?" "Do you have a safe place?" "I want you to wait up here, you're going to just love it, I wish I could... come up with you, but my wife likes me to come straight home after school" "Mom, guys, Hi, is everything all right?" "Daisy told us the absurd story about the ClA" "We think you should be hospitalized I voted against it, Allen, I still say you don't need an overnight for shock therapy" "Allen, show them your badge or a stun gun or something" "You know, just because some of you have Nobel Prize doesn't mean you know everything ln fact, you are so wrong right now because one of my Driver's Ed Students and I... just helped a Russian ballerina, whom I" "sat in a sand trap with, outrun the KGB and defect from the Soviet Union by stashing him up a tree I frequent I am ready to change my vote" "Tom, phone the nurse I'll dial" "No...wait...even now, I'm waiting for a phone call from headquarter which will give me my instructions" "It could also be a personal call sometimes they like to come right to the door" "Allen Quimp?" "Yes, are you from the ClA?" "Yes, how did you know?" "I'm sorry, who are you?" "Officer Hickle" "And you're from where?" "The ClA" "And you wish to speak with whom?" "You, Allen Quimp" "And you're from where?" "The ClA" "Well, right this way" "Officer Hickle from the ClA l think we can speak safely in the fumpus room" "Impersonating a cla officer is against the law ln the interest of national security... we must demand that you cease any such claims" "Am I being crystal clear?" "Yes, but..." "Thank you, good day" "But what am I supposed to do with Rudolph Petrov?" "I just helped him defect" "You helped Rudolph Petrov defect from the Soviet Union?" "Yeah, he wants to move here, boy, if he likes our Arts Centre enough... to risk his life, wait till he gets a load of" "Radio City Music Hall" "Well, this is quite a coup for the ClA Allen" "Yeah, well, except you didn't do it I did and I am not in the ClA" "Well, let's not get hasty" "Are you interested in working for us?" "Desperately I'll send for the helicopter, I'll take you and Petrov in" "Ever been in the military" "Oh, yeah, well, Scouts lf we make Quimp an officer, the ClA can take credit for Petrov" "We know nothing about him" "The ClA is not a playground Human life is at stake" "But good press is more precious than human life" "Put him on the payroll and send him to some Third World backwater" "CUBA" "Quimp" "Brian Fry" "Welcome to Cuba" "How do you do?" "How are you?" "This is so exciting, Buenos dias, Cuba" "You'll be bunking over at my place until we find a house for you and your wife" "When's she coming?" "Well, I don't like for her to be too near danger, I mean" "La playa, Hey, Officer Hickle told me that the guy I'm replacing, Mr." "Johnson" "Johnson, yeah, Mr. Johnson says this country's on the verge of revolution?" "Excuse me, sir, do you give me some matches?" "Oh, sure, hang on" "A muchacho, La botila, and dos fosforos" "Thank you very much" "Adios, muchacho" "Johnson was delusional, Kept claiming there were Communists here" "Chief Lowther sent him home, so don't you fret, ain't nothing going to happen to your wife down here" "Oh, that's good, Fry, I assume when you say: ain't nothing you're just trying to be colloquial..." "But I just feel I have to tell I feel there's very little use in winning the battle against communism if we lose the war against double negatives, but let's not dwell on that now" "Hey, let's not" "Are you sure there is no trouble here?" "Come on, you're part of the world's top security organization now" "Let's go meet the Chief, he brings a whole new meaning to the term Security" "Garcon..." "I can't believe this" "These guys are taught from early childhood" "When they hear my voice look the other way" "Anyhow, where were we?" "We're going to set up a dummy corporation you're going to be the head of it" "We'll call it American Fruit, Perfect for you you'll get chance that way to go out in the countryside" "You can mingle with the workers, talk to the farmers, you'll find out if there's anything going on lf there's any, believe me there'll be nothing going on I promise there's nothing happen in this country" "with the exception of you can't get a waiter before you drop dead of starvation lt's in the construction" "Look what can I tell you?" "You're going to be frustrated, there's no question about it" "You know, you outran the KGB, you're clearly a guy who needs a threat to his life to feel alive I can appreciate that, this was me years ago" "Then a car backfired and I had a nervous breakdown." "Ended it" "Chief Lowther ran our Paris office Briefly I should not complain like this, really I've been here, what?" "Nothing, one, two, Monday, Tuesday eight years, I've been here 8 years" "Garcon, we'll have the Chateau Lafikke and I believe 1946" "Because '45, was you know, a war year there was shrapnel in the harvest" "And some Camembert cheese s'il vous-plait, Vite, Vite" "Tu madre es una puka" "Yes, your mother has the same problem" "Mr. Johnson, your predecessor for some reason Johnson was convinced there was a mile in the operation here and somebody was actually passing secrets to the Soviet Union" "Really?" "Yes..." "Fry and I refer to him all the time as Agent X" "My feeling is if I find Agent X l'm out of here, it's my passport to freedom" "What is that?" "This is Camembert cheese but they put but they put black beans in everything in the shaving" "That's there thing, black beans that's how they ruin I'm living in a nightmare, Quimp I can only tell you, I made one insignificant mistake" "He left his book of European codes in a Soviet-owned borthel... and well, forty-five of our agents were hanged" "So it was a no-no, I know that now" "You should have heard how they reacted they hung a few people" "You only did it once, lt's not like you kept leaving it at Soviet-owned brothel" "You know my own contact was poisoned at a sidewalk caf?" "I was tense, I was going crazy l was vibrating like a tuning fork you know I sought refuge at the brothel" "There was this blonde who knew very well how to manipulate my tensions" "Then the car backfired and I thought they were shooting at me, I ran out I left the code book" "Quimp, look at this, look they bring Chateau Lafikke with a paper parasol in it" "Find Agent X, get me out of here" "There is no Agent X" "Really?" "our secrets get out because the chief talks too much when he drinks" "He's sweet guy, but let's just say he's real sad" "Oh well, let's not say 'real sad'" "Real' is an adjective but you're using it to modify... sad which is also an adjective so you need an ah?" "Aspirin?" "No, no, Adverb..." "So what's the adverbial form of 'real'?" "Hey, look man, don't provoke, ok?" "I've killed people, really" "Really'?" "That's the adverbial form of 'real' so what were you saying?" "I don't know, what was I saying?" "cause you know I think I've only started one sentence since you arrived in town  we've been correcting it every since I'm sorry, I mean, I just feel that honoring the rules of grammar and speaking with style makes us better people" "but look I know it's not always fun to be better I apologize" "Okay, you want to watch some ball" "Sure" "So what do you like to do for fun?" "Well, if I'm not going to parse a sentence I love rock'n roll" "All right, who are your favourite groups" "Well, Danny and the Lifeguards, for me number one, but I love the Skyliners" "Hey, you know what?" "I was on a train once you're never going to believe who I sat next to" "What?" "Whom I say next to" "Right, I was sitting next to this guy" "You know, object of the preposition to so it would just have to be 'whom'" "Like I was saying, so I said to the guy" "As I was saying 'As'" "Of course, like I was, as I was saying" "Good, that's good" "So as I was saying, what was I saying?" "Oh the guy who I was sitting next to on the train" "Okay, whoa..." "I think we really need to focus on 'who' versus 'whom' because I don't think you're listening to me I don't think I can listen to you and actually finish my sentence at the same time, okay?" "So the guy, he who I was sitting next to on the train" "Whom, whom, whom" "What?" "Whom, I'm just going to keep saying it until you say it properly" "Okay, all right, so I say to the guy 'Do you know who' no... do you know whom my favourite group is and I say, he says 'Whom?" "' and I say 'the Skyliners' and the funny part is... it!" "[s the lead singer of the group it's his brother" "That's funny..." "You see, because that time it should have been 'who'" "Who my favourite group is I feel you need a little work on your linking verbs" "Do you want to go over the linking verbs?" "no, maybe when we get home we could diagram some sentence, no, you're right that wouldn't be enough maybe what we could do is everyday I'll just keep a list of the numerous things you say incorrectly throughout the day" "and then when we get home, I'll take the list out and we can just over and over" "And over the many things you've said incorrectly until you learn them properly" "Hey, I don't mind, no, I love this even if it takes years I never get tired of helping" "Okay, I'm agent X" "What?" "I'm confessing, I'm Agent X l'm him" "No, he 'l'm he?" "' it just sound weird" "Well, see this is the linking verbs again I think we really need to go over" "No..." "I'm confessing, so it's okay I'll sign anything you want" "You just have to stop correcting me" "What do you want?" "Just tell me, secrets you want secrets?" "Sure" "Okay, President Batista is about to be overthrown by the guerrilla Fidel Castro thenfourweeksaftercoup ,theSoviets are going to send a high-level emissary to meet with Castro to arrange the exchange of some really dangerous military weapons" "How's that?" "That's a good one, isn't it?" "'Real' dangerous?" "Real dangerous" "Have you not listened to a word I've said?" "Oh, my God, you know what?" "They should have some kind of a thing in the Geneva accords... about you, a whole paragraph should be dedicated to you, this is insane I don't care who you are or how they trained you" "What?" "What did I say?" "Don't care who I am?" "What is it, 'whom'?" "is it a 'whom' thing?" "Well, I think you know I don't care whom you are?" "You may have been right?" "I think you should get a pen and a piece of paper because I'm ready to sign I am whom, he, whom, I am... I am he who is ready to sign I am he who is ready to sign" "That is perfect" "That's who I am" "Very, very nicely confessed I have some stunning news we found Agent X" "But the stunning part is who found him" " Quimp I'm stunned" "We've been looking for Agent X for two years" "Completely stunned" "Quimp has been there less than a day Do you think he's double agent?" "His father-in-law says he doesn't have the wits to be a single agent. I'm stunned" "Not as stunned as I am, I met him" "Let's keep a close eye on him read his mail,tape his phone calls I'm stunned" "Completely stunned" "This guy Johnson, you replaced I found him to be a total madman" "He was laboring under this delusion that the Cubans are on the verge on a revolution" "He was absolute animal, yeah, psychotic" "Wow, where did he come from?" "the military?" "No, the mailroom at William Morris" "Officer Fry did me tell me that there's some guy named Fidel Castro... who's planning a coup and he's very closely tied to the Soviets" "Yes, but I would not act on the tip of a confessed spy, lt's a mistake" "You know, I know what you mean lt's very hard to believe there'd be a revolution here I mean, look how happy the people are you know, they're always having parades lt's wonderful, I love their funny little customs" "The flaming pinatas are so cute" "Well, a revolution would not look good on my resume I think what you have to do is use the Voice of America to... tell these people that they're happy that they are content" "Could I play songs?" "Just make them happy" "Buenos, dias, Havana" "This is el Quimp with Johnny Mathis..." "And 'wonderful wonderful' which is how we all feel living in Cuba" "Dear Daisy, I'm writing you from the battleground of my new life" "You must of course keep the contents of this letter secret" "Letter from Allen... I work as a salesman for an American fruit concern, but that is just my cover" "Hombre?" "Hey, little hombre?" "Posing as a native I spend my days making sure the workers are not going communist" "While at night the buss of rebel planes fills the air" "And when sleep comes I dream of what life would be like if you were here" "When are we getting bigger hut?" "But I couldn't put you at risk it is unwise for you to come" "The agency has provided an elderly maternal woman to look after me... ln return, I've been teaching her English Which gratifies me so" "This letter comes with all my love please eat it" "Communists, war planes, hand-offs I could get six chapter out of this letter alone" "But it's all so second hand" "Mr. Quimp?" "Your lunch is ready I'll be right there" "Senor, do you not like our music?" "No, not at all, I'm ashamed to say I only know the giants of Latin literature" "Here then" "I see what you mean, it's quite peppy" "Oh, no, I never move in front of other people" "My brothers are good dancers but, well all right, if you're willing" "But how would I even?" "Relax and feel the beat through me" "Through you?" "Right and left, right and left" "So you move your...well, everything?" "Yes, bring the hips down, right and left" "I think I'm getting it" "Now, I want you to dip me I've never dipped with another" "Dip..." "Elderly maternal woman, now I see why you didn't want me to come here" "Don't you dare answer that door until that is settled" "Daisy, I didn't want you to come because there's going to be an uprising of the..." "Of the what, Allen?" "Well, of the people not in power against the people in power and when that happens this country's going up like a... the only revolution around here is the one between you and Chiquita LaTaTa" "All right everybody, eat wood" "Eat wood..." "What does that even mean?" "Hit the floor" "Hearing anything?" "We've to make sure we weren't followed" "Who in the world are you?" "I'm Crocker Johnson, ma'am" "Johnson?" "The Mr. Johnson?" "And the revolution I've warned everybody about... the revolution that will ruin thousands of lives and deprive people of all liberty... the revolution that will grab the throat of democracy and strangle the air from it... until only the red marks of communism" "are left on it, that revolution is here at last" "Oh, thank God, my wife was about to kill me" "Don't thank God I'm here, I thank God you're here" "You're the man who found Agent X you're my man" "That's good, man, Roll with it, use it Ride the violence" "Mrs. Quimp, I need your husband to come with me to stop the revolution before it's too late" "Revolution, my foot, you're just saying that to hide his affair" "Do you not think I'm serious?" "..." "No, I don't think you're serious" "Cut me" "That's how serious I am, cut me you want me to do it" "Look, I'm serious" "My God" "You see, Daisy, we're serious" "Oh, my God, you really did it?" "What is the matter with you?" "Communism's the matter with me brother, the loss of freedom is the matter with me" "Do you think I went into the ClA just because it was easy to spell?" "I'm in this company because I love America" "But there's a big bear out there trying to bite the eagle's head off" "And if we don't act we'll all be in a long line in Moscow with shoes that don't fit" "You don't have to go to Moscow for that try the semi-annual sale at Bloomies" "Do you think I'm serious?" "N, I do" "Go on, cut me, you want me to do it?" "Look, I am as serious as a stip search" "He is going to ruin the rug which is an excellent example of native weaving" "These cut are nothing compared to what this guy's been through" "What guy?" "He was nearly killed an hour ago" "What happened?" "Who is he?" "What do you mean, who is he?" "this is President Batista" "President of Cuba?" "In my book I smell Pulitzer" "Greetings, little people" "How do you do" "Hello, how do you do?" "He's been overthrown, Fidel Castro has seized the palace, he's a little upset" "Sorry" "Everything I fought for, my domestic policy my foreign policy" "Oh my God, my home owner's policy lf l have to go into exile there is no way I'm paying my premium" "We need to figure out how to chase that communist rat... back into his socialist hole, let's go come one" "See, Daisy, now I have to go have a talk with Mr. Johnson" "Santa Maria, please don't let that big brute get hold of my good vases" "Allen, you can't leave" "The only Spanish words I know are Ricky Riccardo" "Daisy, this is why I told you not to come lf Mr. Johnson needs me for a meeting then I have to go to that meeting" "The only meeting that's going to take place is when we get our hands on Castro and have his balls meet the back of his throat" "On the other hand, dear, if you're nervous I'll just stay here with you" "Do I have to electronic myself?" "is that what you want?" "Get me water so I can wet my hand" "Stop him, That's a nice lamp" "Listen, Brother Quimp, if we act now before the palace is secured we can kill Castro restore democracy to the people and a ruler to his rightful throne" "Acting out of your love for the great bald bird, you risk your safety as well as the safety of your beloved wife to ensure the safety of an entire people lf that were a book, it would sell a million copies" "Well, I am not in love with the people" "Mr. Johnson but a person, my Daisy and it is for her" "Can the mush, Allen, Castro must die pack your piece and go" "Daisy" "Think what this will do for my book, they have to deliver my royalties by dumptruck" "Daisy, come on, let's discuss" "Do you no think I am serious?" "..." "You want me to electronic myself?" "All right, Mrs. Q, freedom fighter" "Allen Quimp, I want you to overthrow this government in the most highly readable un-put downable way possible or we're going back to Greenwich on the next flight with seats available in first class" "Yeah, move it, amigo" "Every second wasted is another second that Cuban Judas Iscariot could be cracking my crystal" "Let's go" "Up, Out, Down, Move, Freedom calls" "Viva la vista" "Meanwhile, I'll plan the details of my triumphant return to the palace" "Well, you're not planning anything until this mess is cleaned up" "Boy, you think there's a vacuum cleaner anywhere in this country?" "Oh, I have one at home, pure gold with a lovely velvet dust bag I bought it from the Shah do you know Shah?" "Very nice man, very firm handshake always know the latest jokes very good at ping-pong, Brandy" "Oh for God's sake, I'm coming" "Where exactly are we headed?" "The palace, we had to come this way to avoid detection" "Just a little further" "Oh, no, what you mean is farther" "Further, of course, is used to refer to quantity whereas farther is more" "Don't you every correct my grammar I had a teacher sister Lola and anytime you said something wrong" "Sister Lola whacked you I know those ruler can hurt" "Sister Lola taught shop she used a hammer" "Heads up, water moccasins" "Well, that's an interesting plan I'm only have one slight what you might call conservation" "Could you just go over that last part again?" "yeah, when we get to the palace there's a big outer wall, we scale it" "No, later than that" "Creep toward his bedroom?" "No, just the very last part" "Chop off his fat hairy head?" "That's it, that's it, that's the part" "What's your confusion, man?" "You hold it I'll chop it, come on" "No, no see, I have a chopping issue I just don't feel that" "Hey, do you not think I'm serious?" "You want me to push this sharp twig in one ear through my brain and out the other ear" "Good God, no" "Then movie it, and I mean now, don't be a yellow belly wimp Quimp" "Come on, move..." "Wait I'm sorry, but I can't do this" "What?" "If you want to kill Castro go ahead" "You are obviously strong enough yourself" "But it's just not something I can do That's it, I'm going" "You're leaving?" "That's right" "You're actually walking out?" "Yes, well, I can't stay here under these circumstances" "Fine, just walk away" "Leave me" "I'm used to it" "I don't know what's wrong with me I just can't keep a partner I try my hardest, but I guess I'm just not what other agents want" "No, don't say that, I'm sure you have a lot of qualities I don't" "No, you do" "No, I don't" "You do I don't" "You do, you, listen, I know how you feel I've got older brothers, they never wanted me around" "To them I was always just a secret cat little shrimp" "They must be proud of you now" "Yeah, well, they can't believe it" "So what am I doing wrong?" "Well, I tell you, you don't listen to me" "You make me feel as though what I say doesn't matter" "That is so bad of me, you caught Agent X" "You brought Petrov in, you're Mr. Does Matter" "But eliminating Communists from the face to the earth is the reason we're here" "Why don't you do it?" "Well, don't you think that I want to see Castro gag on his own tongue?" "I wan to believe that, I want to I do, but if we try now and fail killing Castro is going to be that much harder in the future because then the security will be massive" "That's a good point, See?" "You are so much the man I've got to try to listen more" "Well, yeah, but that's good because I always tell my students" "That we have two ears but only one mouth so we should try to listen twice as much as we talk" "He wants to assassinate Castro?" "We should do something" "Oh thank God. I knew you'd want to stop him" "No, we should do something to help him" "Help him?" "What are you talking about?" "Surely the US government doesn't condone killing people just because we disagree with them" "Of course we do, that's our specially" "Fine, lf that's what you want, that's your business but I'm not right guy to work with Johnson He's very... I know what you're going to say That he's prehistoric and simian" "But that's exactly my point, you have mind He's got the muscle lt's perfect combination" "But..." "Hurry..." "That maniac almost got me killed" "Come on, would you?" "He wants me to help kill Fidel Castro, Start packing" "Abso-very-lutely not, this afternoon has brought my book to life" "Listen, my loving reunion with Allen was violently interrupted... when a dashing... soldier of furtune broke through the window... and delivered to our doorstep General Basista" "My second home was now democracy's last sanctuary" "Gee, that's great, but see... I joined the ClA as an intelligence officer not as an assassin" "Well, then use your intelligence and think of some other way to get rid of Castro" "Anyone who's ever been in the Junior League can tell you don't have to kill someone to make them want to leave the party" "But sweetheart" "And we are not leaving this country until Castro is gone and I have an ending for my book" "But I" "Tearfully I watched my husband depart for what might be his last mission" "I've come up with a plan for getting rid of Castro but I don't think we should kill him" "What?" "No way." "Bring on the bear and I'll bite his brown nose off" "No, no that's a mistake we have to be subtle" "The trick is to make Castro unpopular" "Let's shoot him in the mouth with a shotgun" "People without faces are very unpopular" "Crocker, I thought we were going to try to use a little more of this and a little less of this I'm sorry, I forgot" "All right, now what I need though for my plan to work is a drug that could alter Castro Speech do you know what I mean?" "Something" "Wait a minute" "What about this?" "This is a gas that we developed as a truth serum but it never really worked lt could make people lie more than ever but then they slurred their speech I use this a night when I go to sleep because it will keep me... believe it or not, from grinding my teeth" "That's interesting I don't know, Have you guys heard about this new hallucinogenic drug called LSD?" "I thought American Fruit could sponsor a dagate with Castro and we would put at his place a glass of water which has been laced with the LSD" "He takes a few sips of that and everybody is going to think he sounds like a nut" "Well, I'd rather ram a hose up his butt and blow the skin off his body" "But I'm trying to be more sensitive" "Where are we going to find some LSD" "Well, see that's the problem, I just I got LSD" "You have got LSD?" "Yeah, yeah, I use it every now and then I'll take a little bit when I feel very depressed over getting stuck out here I take some every single evening and ever single morning like clockwork" "And of course if the day's not going well l'll pop some for lunch too" "So I can get you all the LSD you want really" "That's great" "The big problem's going to be can you get Castro to the debate?" "I'm sorry, Senor Quimp a televised debate would e covered by the print press and I detest publicity I am a shy man, a humble man" "So I agree only if there is no press" "Well, maybe Life Magazine could come I love the funny little pictures they have on the back" "Last week they had a cat on skates" "So just Life can come" "Well, maybe also Time Magazine could come because I know they are owned by the same company" "And of course, we can't snub Newsweek if Time is going to come" "So just Time, Life, Look, Newsweek and if you can get Norman Rockwell... I will do the Saturday Evening Post" "Good evening, I'm Allen Quimp and on behalf of the business community I am happy to welcome President Fidel Castro" "Welcome, President Castro" "President Castro, I can never hear that enough" "After all, I used to pick fruit I was the lowest of the low" "But now that we have chased that money grasping midget" "President Batista from office I am the high one" "Just drink your water, baby and you'll be higher than you ever dreamed I know a lot of people are concerned about what's going to happen to Cuba now" "Cuba is like this glass of water lt is full of what we need" "But if I am holding the glass is it different because I am holding it?" "If Senor Quimp holds the glass" "Hold the..." "That is the same glass of water" "Except for the ten teaspoons of narcotics" "Now I hold Senor Quimp's glass of water ls it different because I hold it?" "Which... is which?" "is this the Communist water or is this the capitalist water?" "is there any difference?" "All that matters... about these two glasses is the same thing that matters about Cuba what is inside, I propose a toast to Cuba and all it can be lf he doesn't drink, Castro's going to suspect a trap" "That's going to put Quimp's life in jeopardy" "On the other hand, if he does drink he's liable to hallucinate and give the whole operation away which will also put his life in jeopardy" "Either one works for me, Twistarooni Galore" "Drink, amigo, Drink" "Very well, does anyone've any questions for this great man sitting beside me?" "No?" "Okay, well we might as well head on home because" "Amigo, there are many raised hands Sir, in the front row ls there still a place for capitalists in a Communist country?" "President Castro congratulates you on your question" "And President Castro will now answer it" "There is nothing more sacred than our economy lt is the engine of peace and prosperity to all Cuban people" "As President, the first thing have you ever noticed how amazing wood is?" "I mean, it is just alive, man" "Wow, look at it." "Watch that thing go" "Here, come on hair-lip." "Check it out" "Look at that grain" "Amber waves of" "You know what it's like?" "You know what it's like?" "It's like a sentence by James Joyce" "Anyway, did you hear that?" "Listen" "James Joyce, Jay Joy, Jay Joy" "Hello." "How are you?" "Good, thanks Fine...how's the family?" "Good" "How's your family?" "How many do you have now?" "Five" "Mother?" "Amigo, you want to lay down?" "Lay down?" "Did you hold on, mom" "Do you not know the difference between lay and lie?" "Maybe the lights are too hot" "Yes, the lights are too hot" "That's why I'm going swimming, oh boy" "Take that." "Man that water looks good I can't wait to get in..." "Jesus Christ, there's a mongoose in my shorts!" "There's a mongoose in my shorts" "Help me!" "Get it out!" "Jesus Christ!" "If he sees a mongoose in there he is definitely hallucinating" "Major mongoose in my shorts look at that thing move" "This is the most humiliating debacle in the history of the United States foreign policy" "Well, I wouldn't say the most humiliating" "Yeah, you haven't heard what we tried next" "Oh, god" "So we went to American Fruit and I had to do my radio show" "Johnson was just not about to give up I am so serious about wanting this island to be free I'm willing to ram your microphone up my ass and fuck Cuba to freedom" "Let's you and I head to the palace and blow the beard off his face" "Just over and over, I'm a hog, I'm a hog" "Officer Quimp, we get it" "All right, so we realized that what we needed was a more serious plan to get rid of Castro" "So decided to defoliate his face I beg your pardon" "Hey, anyone in the mood for lunch?" "We just felt that we could undermine Castro's appeal if we could make all the hair on his head fall off" "So we had our lab mix up a depilatory you know a hair-removing agent and it would work on a time delay, so that you know Castro would use it and then he'd go outside and his hair would blow off in the first stiff breeze" "And the ClA lab made this?" "Oh yes, senator we're" "You have a number for that lab?" "You want the number?" "It's just that my wife has a little problem with hair on her shoulders" "Just her shoulders" "And down a little bit onto her upper back upper and lower back" "And her hips" "Hips?" "It's kind of thick there" "Where'd you meet her the zoo?" "Officer Quimp, please proceed" "When the depilatory arrived, Daisy took it" "She a big hairball like Mrs. Farwood?" "No, she wanted me to take a picture of her holding the bottle for her book" "What made you think that Castro would use the shampoo?" "Well, President Kennedy recommended a special agent who had done some work for him She called Castro for us" "Hello, Mr. President?" "I mean, Mr. El President?" "Well, I just think you're the dreamiest world leader and I wanted to send you this shampoo that all the movie stars use" "After all, just because one is a revolutionary doesn't mean one has to look revolting I'm coming to Cuba to hear your speech on the fifteenth lf you use it that day, maybe we could, as you Cubans say Rendezvous" "Miss Monroe, I would love to meet you" "Castro took the bait." "We had our maid deliver the shampoo to him the night before he was to give his big speech" "Top members of the KGB were present and there was a strong wind" "Santa Maria, he's wearing one of my rings" "Which one is it?" "Momasitta gave that ring to me" "Well, either moma or ldi Amin I can't quite see it" "You know ldi?" "Yes, very nice man." "Could you look for me, please?" "If it has a heart on it, then ldi gave it to me" "Finally the moment of truth arrived The wind picked up and as I predicted the depilatory began to work" "There was just one problem" "Daisy had sent him the wrong bottle of shampoo" "Well, I don't know she must have just mixed the bottles up or something and kept the one with the depilatory for herself lt was a catastrophe, just a complete catastrophe lt was the worst day of my life" "I mean, not only had my wife gone bald but it make Johnson even more determined to find a way to kill Castro" "What about this?" "Mi Casa Es Su Casa, it explodes" "No, Crocker" "Look, give him the mat and send him up in smoke" "No, wait." "That's, smoke" "Smoke was the easiest way into Castro's bloodstream" "So we decided to give Castro a box of poisoned cigars" "There are samples in the files" "Those samples are poisoned?" "Anyway, I had heard that my favourite group, Danny and the Lifeguards... was coming to Castro's palace to play at his daughter's birthday party" "So we arranged to accompany the band as part of their entourage and have them present Castro with the poisoned cigars" "Well, we've learned a lot today" "Haven't we officer Quimp?" "We've learned that you have a mongoose in your shorts" "We've learned that the missing link isn't actually missing she's married to Senator Farwood" "But what we haven't learned about is the Bay of Pigs l'm just coming to that, now that I'd come up with his cigar plan" "Johnson had calmed down but unfortunately, Daisy had not" "Not even General Batista could cheer her up" "Making matters worse was our new maid" "Where are those drinks?" "Allen, we've got to do something about these domestic I could lose my hair but not my mind" "Daisy, when the company shipped me down here they said that if I ever needed need anything... I should just wire them for help so go ahead, wire them for help" "Cuban domestic situation intolerable Things must be cleaned up at once..." "Otherwise fear total collapse, send help ASAP, Desperate Quimp" "But we can't invade on the basis of wire" "Sir, we believe that Officer Quimp has sent us a number of message... through the music he plays on the radio asking for invasion" "We've made a compilation, Listen" "See you later alligator..." "Castro must go" "Come softly..." "We should launch a surprise invasion lt was an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow poka dot bikini" "The men should be dressed for an amphibious landing I'm A hog..." "Notice now officer Quimp repeats the phrase I'm a Hog, I'm a Hog for you, baby" "What do you make of it?" "We think it's a tip about where to land" "Cuba has an inlet called the Bay of Pigs" "Get me the President" "And so on April 1 7th, 1961 we began our last assassination attempt" "Disguised as hip record executives we went to the airport and picked up the band" "There he is" "To insure a thorough knowledge of the palace... we brought along General Batista dressed as a chauffeur" "Attention please, please, we are now approaching my palace" "The palace, the former inhabitant of which was General Batista you've heard of them" "No" "Oh, he's a very nice man, very elegant" "Very musical, yes..., no bad body odors" "Nobody ever called him a guerrilla, oh, no" "You will perform in here" "Don't scratch that floor" "The wood is imported from a tiny island off the coast of Madagascar that has not produced similar quality lumber for over four hundred years" "I'm guessing" "Let me know if you need anything" "Wow, Castro's got quite a spread" "Between you and I though, I could never live in this big a space" "No, well, you're such a modest guy Kind of like a friendly guy" "What is it?" "Between you and I?" "That's wrong, isn't it?" "Oh, don't be such a stickler Language is a living thing" "Bueno dios, amigos" "We want to welcome you to our home" "Your home?" "is so lovely. lt doesn't really seem like your home but more like a museum" "Yes, well, the greedy pygmy who used to here was a petty bourgeois social climber who spent money on bathroom faucets instead of spending on the people when we catch that fat midget we are going to put him on display and" "beat him like a pinata" "El Presidente?" "May I?" "What are you doing to him?" "It's a special kind of diet" "You won't feel like eating now" "Amigo I'm sorry to brother you before a concert but I have a question" "Who does your publicity?" "you are in the paper all the time" "That was a nice spread in Teen Beat Magazine last week" "Thank, man, thanks a lot" "Do you have to be a teen to be in Teen Beat?" "Or could you just be a youthful world leader?" "I'm not sure" "Senor Presidente, the Soviet emissary is waiting for you" "Business calls, well, my friend if I don't finish in time to hear your concert many thanks" "Okay, friends of freedom, you heard what that red rapist of Betsy Ross said" "He may not be here after the concert" "Brother Q, you and I need to follow him find him and do the job for liberty" "We can't, we have no weapon, no way to harm him lt's full of poison, we'll just have to get it in his bloodstream" "Now, how we are going to do that with a pen?" "It's hypodermic nib" "Allen, you be sure and be the one who jabs him lf my book doesn't outsell the Bible I'm going to lose my faith in God" "General Batista, you and Daisy keep an eye on things here" "Brother Q, ready to bite the Big Bear?" "Allen Jugular" "General, your taste is exquisite" "This place is fab times ten I'm just not sure about the walls" "No, I think the butternut squash is a little Miami Beach" "If you want to see exquisite, please" "And when could we expect to have this come?" "Will be here in one, maybe two weeks lt will be a great day for Cuba when they arrive" "Will we show those capitalist pigs they can't push Fidel Castro around anymore" "But enough of business, how is our beautiful wife?" "Senor Presidente, your call is ready" "My apologies, I will return" "My friend, I must return to my daughter's birthday party but yes of course, send the missiles" "Thank you" "Thank you, Mr. Gorbachov" "Come on, I show you out" "Please, please" "This is, was my bedroom" "Oh General, fatos mucho tico" "Che, Che, Che, my baby" "May I?" "Snap snap" "Oh, if only this hand-crafted 18th century four poster bed with the original canopy could talk" "Where's the bathroom?" "I'm a fixtures nut" "Yes, please, please" "Maracas, mamacita gave these to me I always wanted to be a musician The piano is my passion" "But Mamacita said I should have something to fall back on, so... I became a dictator" "When you come out, I want to show you this portrait of Mamacita" "He has moved the portrait of Mamacita if he sold it, I will kill him with the bare hands of the man that I hired to kill him with his bare hands" "Where can her picture be?" "is she a squatty red-haired woman?" "Mamacita is in the bathroom?" "I will kill him" "Listen to me, the plan's back in place" "Castro's coming to the concert after all so all we have to do is give him the cigars them" "Hey guys" "Holy S!" "What happened?" "Oh, God" "Okay, calm down." "Relax I brought along an antidote just in case anything went wrong, which in your case is a hundred percent certainty" "How long will it take?" "Maybe about half an hour" "Half an hour?" "Relax" "Presidente Castro and his daughter have taken their seats" "The concert must begin" "Fernando, how can you do this to me?" "After all I've done for you?" "I do not know you" "Of course, I forget my cunning disguise" "Generalissimo Batista?" "My prayers have been answered" "Now I can kill you and pay you back for twenty years of hell" "Hurry" "And now, Carlotta's favorite group Danny and the Lifeguards" "I have no idea how to play these" "Just pretend they're Castro's face" "Buenos dias, Havana, and a special feliz... birthday to Carlotta Castro we'd like to dedicate to her our number one hit" "Old MacDonald" "Old MacDonald had a farm, E-l-e-l-o" "And on that farm not much went on" "Life moved pretty slow" "Just a quack, quack here and a moo moo there" "Not much action anywhere" "Old MacDonald had a farm, E-l-e-l-o" "Those pills we took on the plane were definitely not uppers" "Lifeguards." "Wake up" "What are you doing?" "You guys are out." "We had to play but we don't know how to" "Oh man, hey, we do" "Get ready to start faking it" "Billy, Micky, Skippy, PT, let's rock roll" "Everyday the radio played" "The songs were all the same" "Heavy strings and other things sounded pretty time" "Then came a sound with a brand new goal to shake your heart and rattle your soul" "Old MacDonal loved this sound the sound called Rock-N-Roll" "He'd never heard a sound like this in all his live long days lt make his fingers snap and twitch his feet moved in a craze" "With a doo-wop here and a yeah-yeah there" "Mac no longer was a square" "And now the barnyard critters love this sound" "They started dancing all around" "Batista is in the palace" "There he is, catch that capitalist dwarf" "Evacuate..." "All right, let's divert them, Chief General you go that way" "Q, Daisy take this stairs" "Do you know the way out?" "We've got to go, he said go this way" "Hurry, move it..." "Let me go, I'm a tourist" "The cover of Life" "Daisy, come on, Forget the pictures I don't care what anyone says you can't go wrong with big stones" "Hurry" "Move it..." "These weeds, will you look at these weeds lt's a sin" "Come on, give me your hand" "Good God, if we get out of this place we are going straight back to Greenwich" "Oh good, then we'll call a realtor we can't go back to that tacky little shack we need a new house" "A new house?" "Spanish style, we can build one with fountains and" "Q,Q man, let's do like that big bald bird we love and fly to freedom, come on" "Allen, are you coming?" "Q..." "I'm sorry, man but it was too dangerous to go back for daisy, God save her from her captors" "Yeah, well, God save her captors" "There's the boat to liberty, let's go" "Come on, Q" "Hey man, what's all this boat traffic?" "We're going to Bay of Pigs to take back the mother island, Cuba libre" "Cuba libre, is there room for two more" "Two more" "Brother Q, you ready to return?" "Oh, well, no, don't think I should go to the agency and debrief them about the Russian" "Good idea, I better go I hate to miss a chance to bring the bear to his knees" "But that means that this is goodbye" "I know I was a little impatient with you sometimes" "And sometimes rough, but we really stuck our necks out for the red, white and blue" "I'm proud we were partners, shoot here I go again, Old salty" "Cuba libre..." "Cuba libre..." "Vamos, muchachos" "Officer Quimp, your bravery in trying to assassinate Castro makes you and exemplary agent" "The markings you placed on" "Mr. Grobachev's head will identify him as a man to watch" "Though the invasion was botched it proves the need for greater funding of the ClA l'm sorry to have to tell you your wife was arrested though it is against our policy to pay for such things, we were prepared" "to make the Cubans an offer before we could they made us an offer if we would take her off their hands it was apparently the first time in Cuban penal history where it was the guards who rioted" "Now if you'll step to the door behind me there is a surprise for you" "Jack" "No, sorry, that's my 3:30, that door to the right" "Daisy" "Yes, there are one or two little details about your departure I'd like to discuss with you, but that can wait till we're outside" "Get me an assignment, will you?" "And that is how the Bay of Pigs happened" "Pretty much what you might have guessed I'm curious, Officer Quimp, it's been some time since the events" "What's happened to everyone?" "Well, Chief Lowther managed to escape through Guatemala" "He got the first plane to Paris" "Stewardess, some Chateau lakfikke s'il vous-palit" "Unfortunately, that plane was hi-jacked to Havana" "Jesus, please, Let this is just be a bad acid flashback" "And General Batista?" "Things worked out very nicely for the General, he landed in Miami Beach" "Men grow cold as girls grow old and we all lose our charms in the end lsn't that the truth, Betty?" "But square-shaped or pear shaped those rocks don't lose their shape" "Diamonds are a boy's best friend as well as dollars" "Diamonds are a boy's best friend" "Thank you, One bottle more for Betty and now..." "What about your wife?" "Were there any consequences for her?" "Yes, my weeks in the Cuban prison were frightening... but as woman who twice a year passed through Times Square on matinee day I was no stranger to depravity and horror" "Thank you, thank you so much" "Thank you, in advance" "I don't think the government of the Untied States has ever been so disgraced" "Hickle, if you don't want me to make these findings public, then I suggest you send... this guy and his lunatic partner as far from America as possible" "There is nothing I'd like better, I mean that's very prudent decision Senator" "Just send them some place quiet some place so unknown... that even the people living there haven't heard about it, you got me?" "We get you" "Quiet" "AllenQuimp?" "Yes, that's I" "Hey, let me take that for you I'm Scott Emmons" "Oh, hi, how are you?" "Welcom to Vietnam" "Oh gee, this is so exciting, Ciao Vietnam" "Hey listen, I'm going to take you to the Embassy" "And just between you and I it is the place to be at" "Between you and I?" "There's nothing wrong with that, is there" "Well, this is going to be a marvelous ride for you Emmons because.." "you're about to take a trip using the most powerful vessel known to mankind" "The human mind"