"Zero Charisma" "Having a party ?" "You could say that." "What is it, like your nephew's birthday or something ?" "No!" "That will be 12 dollars and 53 cents." "You saved 2 dollars and 51 cents today." "Mrs. Weidemeyer." "Wiedemeyer." "I can't wait for you guys to see what i have in store for you guys tonight..." "You're gonna shit!" "What is it?" "I'm not gonna tell you idiot, that would spoil it." "No, no of course not." "Alright i will give you a hint." "You may want to stock up on your fire enchantments before you leave the village." "Is it a flame golem ?" "A flame golem?" "Are you Serious?" "Or maybe it's a..." "No, you said a flame golem." "Is that what you think it is?" "Well is it ?" "Let's concider it for a second, shall we?" "Uh, you're walking across the cursed flats." "When you come across a flame golem." "Ten feet of animated lava, ready to kick your ass." "So you cast a fire enchantment on it," "Which is immediatly absorbed into it's body," "Thereby increasing it's strength and stamina..." "Oh!" "Right, yeah i..." "No, Let me finish!" "And giving it a bonus on all of it's attack rolls." "How is that working out for you?" "You're right, that would be stupid, Scott." "I'm sorry." "Jesus..." "Guess again." "Martin, your elf takes 22 damage," "All spellcasters regain 3 spell slots." "New round." "Everyone roll for your action orders, and state your intentions." "Is your blessing still in effect?" "Two more rounds." "Eight." "I'm healing this round." "Okay." "Three." "Five." "I am attacking the troll with my warhammer." "He is still paralized by my grand flash spell." "Sweetness!" "12 to hit." "15." "And... 10 damage." "Vronkar's final blow... crushes the troll's skull." "As he crumbles into a bloody, smelly heap." "The captain..." "Say hello to my little friend." "The captain of the guard approaches..." "I'm healing." "I know!" "The captain of the guards approaches." ""Thank you my friends"" ""My people are safe"" ""For now..."" ""In return i give you this information about the stones of light you are seeking"" "Oh, isn't that special?" "Wayne!" ""This was no mere band of leaderless trolls"" ""The rumor among..."" ""The rumor amongst my people, is that they serve the goblin queen"" ""Of the Ungar mountains"" "She's the one that stole the stones from Porthaven, right?" ""Indeed." "She lives in a dark tower to the east, from whence she commands her bloodthirty troops"" ""By night, she..."" ""Terrorizes the countryside"" ""Disguised as a wil..."" "Scott!" "What?" "Come here and open this jar." "Goddamnit!" "You screw the lids on too tight." "Hey!" "I need you to take me to the pharmacy tomorrow." "Okay, fine." "But not the one on fifth." "A gal works in there, i don't know where she's from..." "But i don't understand a word she says." "And then she give's me grief, like it's my fault she can't understand english." "And i need you to mow the lawn." "Hey, Wayne, Martin and i fishined the latest episode of Blood Brigade." "Wanna see it?" "Well i wouldn't say that it's finished." "We still have some sound mixing to do before we upload it." "Thats fine." "Straigten up, Rodriguez." "If those blood suckers get in here, i need to know that you're 100%!" "But sarge, what we have seen.." "Get a grip private!" "I didn't survive the zombie outbreak and the wherewolf apocalypse to give up now." "Sarge!" "They are breaking through!" "God help us all!" "Let's rock and roll!" "And clean out the car before then." "It's like a dumpster on wheels." "Nana, you promised you wouldn't disturb the game." "I'm not disturbing the game, i'm just making myself a sandwich." "well, it's disturbing." "No, you and you friends, sitting in there pretending to be elfs and fairies and shit, that's what's disturbing." "Just stay in your room, okay?" "Listen mister!" "This is my house and my kitchen, and i'll come into it whenever i damn well please." "Okay." "And you can take the fucking nerd herd someplace else if you don't like it." "Put that stuff back in the fridge." "Shelley, honey, we talked about this last night." "You... you said everything was okay!" "I... i realize that." "You told me everything was okay..." "Kenny, we're back." "Go ahead, i'll be there in a sec." "Uh no, we are in the middle of an important plot point." "No, Shelley, i dont wanna talk about this later" "I wanna talk now..." "No." "No, no, no, please, please... don't hang, if you hang up i swear to god..." "Damnit!" "Shelley wants to separate." "Yesterday everything was fine." "Today..." "Tell you what." "We'll take our five now." "That should give you some time to pull yourself together." "And we'll start up again at 20:45, okay?" "Sorry Scott." "But i don't think i can play anymore." "Sure you can!" "No." "No, i have to go." "But it's only 20:30!" "What's going on?" "Nothing." "Kenny's wife is leaving him." "But we're starting up early on thursday to make up for lost time." "No, Scott, i dont think i can play anymore at all!" "What are you talking about?" "I can't lose my wife, Okay?" "And that means making a lot of changes." "You're leaving the game?" "This is crazy!" "We've been playing one continues adventure for three years," "And now you're just gonna flush it all down the toilet?" "What else can i do?" "We barely see each other as is." "But we're almost through the hall of the goblin queen!" "I just hope she'll still talk to me." "Of course she will!" "She sent you the gnome to give you the map!" "Not the goblin queen, Scott." "My wife!" "Look, i dont expect you to understand." "Okay?" "You've never even had a girlfriend." "Yeah because i don't like to be tied down." "How many times do i have to say that?" "I'll leave my character so you can play him as an NPC." "Kenny, wait, wait, wait, just hear me out." "We have know each other for a long time." "and i say this as a friend." "Shelley is a bitch." "Goodbye Scott." "NPC?" "Borgus the mighty is fucking dead!" "Hey Tim, it's Scott Wiedemeyer." "Listen, i've got some great news for you." "I had to let one of my players go today..." "And i've been ** lots of applications," "But, i wanna make sure you get the first crack at it." "Of course i'm going to be the GM who else would it be?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Yo Brian, it's Scott." "Scott, who?" "Wiedemeyer." "Look, you will not believe your luck man." "We have an open seat starting tuesday." "Okay, if you apologize." "Apologize for what?" "You know what." "Brian Dumbledore is a homo it's a fact." "Brian?" "Hello." "Hello Mrs. Prendergast." "Is Eric there?" "May i ask who's calling?" "Scott Wiedemeyer." "Well, he doesn't want to speak to you Scott." "Why not?" "Because you made him cry." "Well, frankly Mrs. Prendergast, Eric's a crybaby." "And everybody knows it." "Mrs. Prendergast?" "Shit!" "Fuck." "I see that." "Video games are amazing these days, arn't they?" "Beautiful artwork." "Expansive worlds." "Top notch voice talent." "Rolling dice is just a thing of the past, right?" "Right?" "Wrong." "It's all a facada." "We think it's a RPG, But you might as well be playing connect the fucking dots." "And i'll tell you why." "No human interaction." "When we play tabletop RPG's ..." "We are reawakening one of man's oldest traditions." "Games." "No." "Communal storytelling" "Just as thousands of years ago..." "Early man gathered around the fire." "Developing the myth's that define their culture..." "So we sit at the table," "Building worlds," "Building characters," "Building hero's." "Seeing through them as through a prism," "Our own fears," "Our own goals," "Ourselves." "Think your Xbox can do that?" "I don't have an Xbox." "Good for you." "I play world of warcraft though." "Let me tell you something." "MMORPG's are fucking garbage!" "They turn fibrant, creative people, into drooling zombies who sit in front of their monitors jabbing F1 until their fucking hearts explode." "Take your character sheet and go back to farmville!" "Alright, who else do we have for today?" "Uhh... that was it." "Are you kidding?" "One goddamn applicant?" "Scott, your break's over." "Alright." "Get more flyers printed, we'll put them up tomorrow." "Okay." "Now, Scott!" "You got a delivery!" "Bye Scott." "You know, Mrs. Yi, when you screech like that, it only reinforces negative stereotypes about chinese women." "And when you sit on your fat ass, not walking, you reinforce stereotypes about american men." "Shit!" "Psst!" "Pete!" "Scott!" "They sent you again man?" "I'm the only one that makes deliveries, i told you that last time." "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right." "You're the operational manager" "Of all external food distribution, right?" "It's just temporary." "Until i find a publisher." "Nathan." "Scott." "So you have the dragonheart sets here at the front counter now." "Not what i would have done." "Really?" "Well, It's not an impulse buy." "And you have the tactics sets on the top shelves," "When everyone knows that historical wargamers tend to be shorter than average." "It's a wonder this place is still in business..." "Oh, we are doing really well actually." "Business has improved, what?" "200% since last november?" "Say, wasn't that right around the time that Huey fired you, and made me assistant manager?" "That's weird right, Nathan?" "Scott leaves, business improves." "Yeah, and Pokemon cards." "And we're hosting games four nights a week now." "All CRPG certified, and they are always packed." "I prefer home games." "And guess who is coming to do a QA for us next month?" "Pikachu?" "Greg Goran is coming here?" "Just got this in today." "I thought you might want to be the first to know." "How the fuck did you get Greg Goran?" "He's like... the godfather of tabletop gaming." "That's really good." "Yeah, yeah we've got to put that on the flyer." "How much do i owe you?" "$12,52." "Well worth the price." "Excuse me." "What kind of games do you guys host here?" "What are you looking for?" "Oh, i don't know, i used to play DD back in high school." "Thought it would be fun to get back into it." "Okay." "If you're looking for a game to play, i wouldn't play here if i where you." "It's all pre-packaged by the numbers bullshit." "Alright, I always prefer the homemade games to the published ones." "Exactly!" "Now, the campaign i'm running is one epic story i've been writing for three years." "And it's uh..." "Inspired." "Right on, so it's DD?" "No, it's not DD." "It's a fantasy rule system of my own design." "I don't have a publisher yet but it's in the works." "Oh." "Can i have my change, Please?" "Matter of fact, we have an opening for a new player." "If you are interested..." "This is a very rare opportunity." "Sure, what the hell... i'm Miles." "Scott, Scott Wiedemeyer." "game master." "Oh my gosh, Martin you're not listening to me." "The Millennium Falcon is a broken down smuggler ship." "Yeah, but..." "No, no, no, no." "The Enterprise is a federation starship." "Now, which do you think would be faster?" "That's exactly what i'm saying." "The falcon isn't a warship like the Enterprise, and so it's only defense is speed." "Guys, you are never going to resolve this." "No, no, no." "Voyager, episode 31, aka. "Threshold"." "Oh, here we go with "Threshold" again." "Everybody knows that episode is in canon." "Oh, for god's sake you guys!" "How many times do i have to tell you?" "There is no answer to this question." "Let it go." "I'm just saying..." "No, look," "Everyone, let's try to keep the geekiness to a minimum tonight." "Okay?" "Just be cool." "Hey Miles." "Scott." "No i... fuck it." "How about a hug?" "Falcon has what, one wookie and a..." "Hey guy, this is Miles." "That's Martin, Leonard and Wayne." "Hi." "What's up?" "I brought a six-pack, if anyone wants one." "Is that cool?" "Uh, yeah, yeah, that' cool." "Beer..." "Beer is cool." "Did you want one?" "No, actually..." "I'm allergic to alcohol." "It has an increased effect on me." "One is like ten." "Lucky you." "Well, If anyone else wants one, help yourself." "Should we ask him?" "You ask him! Okay fine, i will ask him." "Hey, Miles, which do you think is faster..." "The Enterprise or the Millennium Falcon?" "Guys, we just went over this." "There is no answer to this question." "Actually, I'd have to say the Falcon." " Common!" " I knew it!" "No, listen, we are talking about two totally different technologies from different universes." "Now, check this out, the fastest Enterprise the Enterprise-D." "Has a max warp factor of what?" "9,2." "Which is 1,649 times the speed of light, we've been over this." "But there is no adequate conversion table between warp factor and hyper drive." "But in Episode IV:" "A New Hope, the Millennium Falcon travels from Tatooine, an outer rim system to Alderaan, a core system in just a couple of days." "Now, thats about half a diameter of a galaxy." "Even in a small galaxy, that's at least 5000 light years." "5.000 lightyears in just 2 days?" "That's almost a million times the speed of light!" "So, i'm going to say the Millennium Falcon is faster." "Fuck me!" "We've been arguing about this forever." "Even Scott couldn't figure this out!" "It's not that i couldn't figure it out." "I dont like wasting my time on hypotheticals." "I deal in reality, okay?" "Now can we roleplay please?" "The four of you have just reached the entrance of the cave of Durakonor." "Your dwarf guide tells you, he cannot let you proceed." "This place is sacred." "I'll handle this." "My good friend," "I have lived in these mountains all my life." "I have as much of a right to enter the cave of Durakonor as any man." ""You cannot fool me"!" ""You are a tourist here"." ""You think you can come and go as you please"." ""But the natives of the Ungar mountains do not take kindly to interlopers"." "Perhaps you are right." "But i am also powerfull." "You would be wise to not challenge me." "Shit!" "Sorry." "Uh, we usually turn off our cellphones before we start the game." "Text from my girlfriend." "She wants me to come home." "I know what she wants." "Oh lord, that's nasty!" "Not to be too crude but I've never been with a chick who needed it so much." "I mean don't get me wrong, she's absolutly beautiful." "But i'm always exhausted." "You know what i mean?" "Oh, yeah." "Miles was pretty funny tonight, huh Scott?" "Yeah, i guess." "The way he told that captain of the guard to suck his stubby dwarf dick..." "And his backstory was hilarious!" "When he said he was raised by wherepigs, so he had to squeal like a pig everytime he goes into battle..." "Wayne, please!" "RPG is about more then just being funny you know.." "I mean, if all i wanted to do was crack you guys up for three hours, i could do that you know, that's easy." "What's hard is to get people to think." "To get them emotionally invested in the story." "That's hard, right?" "Right?" "Right, Wayne?" "Wayne!" "Uh?" "What?" "What are you doing?" "Nothing." "Is that that girl?" "What's her name?" "Beth." "Is that her?" "What do you think?" "Seems nice." "I'm thinking i might ask her out this weekend." "What?" "You really think that's a good idea?" "What do you mean?" "Well, these online relationships can be tricky." "She's probably built an image in her mind, of some tall, handsome and charming guy" "And when she meets you, well..." "You know." "Oh my god, Wayne you have a huge zit on your face." "I know." "Let me get it for you." "No!" "Come on, it's ready." "No, it will scar!" "No, i don't want you to." "Get down!" "No Scott." "Come on get off me!" "Come on, i'm not going to let you walk around with that on your face!" "Come on Scott!" "Wait, wait..." "my glasses." "Oh god." "Want to sleep over?" "Hey, Wayne." "Wayne." "Hey." "Yeah?" "Remember when the tender of Nerndor put that curse of never ending flatulence on Martin's cleric?" "And his farting gave away your position to the kobolds?" "That was pretty funny, right?" "Yeah, i guess." "I come up with funny stuff all the time." "What's the big deal?" "Scott!" "Okay!" "Wayne, try and keep it down, alright?" "Scott!" "Okay!" "What was that?" "Hello." "Hey Barbara, it's Scott." "Scottie, how are you?" "I'm fine." "Look, Nana had a stroke." "Oh my god, is she dead?" "No, she's alive." "No, no you don't need to come here." "I think she just wants you to call her." "No, that's not necessary." "Why not?" "It will just be for a couple of weeks." "Because then i would have to clean the shit out of the guest room." " Scott!" "You can be so selfish!" " I'm not being selfish." "She's my mother, and i'm coming to see here whether you like it or not." "Fine!" "And it will be great to see you." "Whatever." "I've got to go." "I see you didn't mow the lawn." "I was gonna." "Ah!" "Ah!" "Shit." "Scott, for Christ's sake!" "Are you trying to kill me?" "Sorry, Nana." "I'm trying." "I just got out of the hospital." "You wish." "We're here!" "Shit!" "Anyone home?" "Scottie!" "There you are." "Hi." "Come here and give your mom a hug!" "Come on." "Scottie, this is bob." "Hi buddy." "It's so good to meet you." "Your mom has told me a whole lot about you." "Like what?" "Well... uh..." "Well, you're here son and uh..." "Uh... you." "Scottie, Why don't you help bob with the bags?" "My god." "This house looks exactly the same." "Have you two been stuck in a time warp?" "Nana!" "Barbara is home." "Hello mom, it's me!" "Barbara!" "Jesus!" "Why are you yelling at me?" "I know who the hell you are." "It's good to see you." "You look fantastic." "Pillow." "Mom." "This is Bob." "Ma'am." "Here, let me do that right." "Bob and i met at a self-help seminar in Dallas, last month, and we hit it off immediately, and... drum roll!" "We are getting married." "Third time's the charm." "Harvey doesn't count mother." "It was annulled." "You know she was part of a sex cult, right?" "Mother!" "First of all, that was ages ago." "And secondly, it was an agricultural commune." "Yeah, right." "You think i don't know what goes on in those places." "Look mom, i know, i was kind of wild as a kid" " maybe a little irresponsible..." " As a kid? But things are different now." "I'm getting married, and by next fall i'll be a registered nurse." "You?" "A nurse?" "Remind me never to have a stroke in Arizona." "I came here to help you." "You know, To take care of you while you get back on your feet and to get this house in order." "There is nothing wrong with this house." "Boy, If i knew all i had to do to get a visit from my daughter was pop a blood vessel in my brain, i would have done it years ago." "You see what i've had to deal with." "Don't bother trying to do anything nice in this family." "Oh, for Christ sake..." "You wonder why i don't visit more often." "Maybe its because i'm made to feel totally unwelcome everytime i come here." "Calm down Barbara." "Nobody is out to get you." "I was going to cook a nice dinner tonight, but..." "Now i feel a migraine coming on." "That's just great!" "I'll probably be late up all evening." "Bob, could you get me the coco syrup and a hot towel?" "Sure babe." "Well, it was a long flight." "I bet." "Ulrich Benevon, son of Valrich," "Keeper of the stones of light," "meets his mortal enemy on the battlefield, the goblin queen Morgan." "You will pay for your betrayal Morgan, with blood!" "Oh, Ulrich." "Forever the hero." "But all your posturing will not safe the life of your king!" "Or bring your family back from the grave." "I swear this..." "My family's blood, shall be avenged." "The god's demand retribution!" "Knock!" "Sorry, i thought this was a bathroom." "Goddamnit!" "What?" "Hey." "I just wanted to thank you for getting the room ready for us." "Yeah, fine." "So, you into wizzards and shit?" "I guess." "I saw those Lords of the ring movies." "They were pretty cool." "Not so sure about those hobbits though, you know what i mean." "You a cowboys fan?" "What do you mean, like westerns?" "No, like Dallas." "Oh, football." "No." "It's hard to believe they let two back's run up over a hundered yards against them when all last season it didnt happen 25% all of the games played..." "Yeah well, I'm going to bed now, so..." "Right, sure." "Well, have a good evening." "Close the door." "What the fuck is this?" "Shit!" "Mom!" "Mom!" "Barbara!" "What the hell is going on in there?" "Well goodmorning to you too." "What is Bob doing in the hallway?" "I asked him to take a look at the wiring." "He's a contractor, he knows what he's doing." "The wiring is fine." "How would you know that?" "Because the lights go on when you flip the switches." "Old wiring can cause fires." "No one is keeping an eye on this place." "Look at all this clutter." "It isn't safe for Nana." "Hey, be careful with that, it's mine." "Well, get it out of the living room, then!" "Just so you know, tonight is game night, so i'll need the house to myself." "God, are you still playing your little dragons game?" "Yes." "So you and Bob need to stay in your room or go out for the night." "Really?" "Your mother comes all the way from Arizona and you want her to go out?" "Or stay in your room." "Don't you think you should postpone your little game while we are in town?" "No mom, this is important to me!" "We never cancel game night!" "Okay, Okay!" "God, you sound just like you did when you were ten." "It was that tone of voice that made it easy for me to leave, you know?" "Let's rock and roll!" "Oh my god!" "That was fucking rad!" "Nice work." "You like it?" "It's fun, but uh it captures a sense of isolation and dread." "Exactly." "What the subtext clear?" "About the dangers of meddling with nature?" " Oh, for sure." " Nice!" "You know i could put a link to this on my website if you want." "Maybe drive up some traffic." "What's your website?" "It's a pop culture news source." "We do articles on comics and games, movies, that sort of thing." "You work for GeekChic?" "I'm a founding editor." "No way!" "I go there all the time." "Me too!" "Just yesterday i was reading the article about the top 100 comic book villains." "It was awesome!" "Thanks." "And you would put Blood Brigade on Geekchic?" "Oh, for sure" "Oh my god, that's awesome." "I've got a blog too." "Mostly game related, but i write about movies and other stuff." "Cool!" "Yeah, but that's different Scott." "Not really." "We both write articles for the internet ." "Is what i'm saying." "Well yeah but Geekshic is a real website with adds and everything." "Oh, just cause i'm not trying to make a buck it's not real?" "Well, no." "I mean, your webs..." "Some would say it's more noble." "Well yeah, but Miles has thousands of readers." "Millions." "Millions of readers." "Nobody reads your blog." "What the fuck are you talking about?" "Fourteen visitors a week is nobody?" "Scott, you guys are being way too loud." "Yeah, fine." "No." "Not fine." "I need you to call it a night, like now." "We haven't even started yet." "Scott, be a grownup about this." "Your grandmother had a stroke last week." "Yeah, last week." "I'm serious, Scott." "Say goodnight to your friends." "We could play at my house, if you want." "No." "This isn't Barbara's house." "And Barbara can stay at a motel if she doesn't like it." "What are you doing?" "Well, as long as you're going to keep me up, i may as well join the game." "You can't do that!" "Let's see, i'll call my character Princess Razzmatazz." "I said you can't do that." "Race, caucasian." "Sex, yes please." "And she'll look just like Wonderwoman." "You like Wonderwoman don't you Scott?" "No." "That's not what i heard." "Did Scott ever tell you why he was suspended in 8th grade?" "What are you talking about?" "I was never suspended." "It has to do with the boy's bathroom and a Wonderwoman comic book." "That is bullshit!" "I was cleaning a stain of my pants" "And Billy Mizer told everyone a lie because he hated me." "That's not what the school psychologist said." "Guys, she's full of shit." "She was in Colorado when it happend." "I mean, didn't happen!" "Your grandmother told me all about it." "She said you had to change schools because all the other kids kept calling you the Super Stroker." "Oh, and then there was the whole shampoo bottle incident." "Oh my god!" "Fuck it!" "I don't wanna play anymore i'm tired anyways." "Thank you." "Yeah well, at least i didn't abandon my son to grow marijuana in Mexico!" "Hello?" "Oh, fuck!" "Fucking bullsh..." "Well met, adventurer!" "You're here for the game, right?" "Yeah." "Oh my god, good." "I'm Kendra, Miles's girlfriend." "You're Scott, right?" "How did you know that?" "Cause everyone else is here, come on in." "These are amazing." "You are super talented." "Hey Scott, have a seat." "Scott, can i get you anything to drink?" "A beer or wine?" "Do you have any diet Root Beer?" "No, sorry." "Just water then." "Water." "I was just showing the guys a couple of the pages from the comic book that i'm working on." "Check it out." "So, did you go to art school or something?" "No." "I'm pretty much just self taught." "Nice." "Thank you." "It's uh... pretty nerdy obsession." "I don't know how Kendra puts up with it." "Oh, please, you know i think nerds are sexy." "His brush work reminds me of early Tom Palmer." "Love Tom Palmer." "Check this out." "This crosshatch right here?" "I basically just copied his new..." "So, you're the game master huh?" "Yeah." "I guess that means you're pretty creative, right?" "I guess." "Can i see your hands?" "Why?" "I'm taking this course in hand analysis, you know like um when you can tell about someones personality based on the shape of their hands." "Let me see." "I'm not gonna bite." "I'm just kidding, relax." "Let me see." "Okay..." "Okay." "So..." "See?" "Your index finger is the same length as your ring finger, which means that you are very sensitive." "And..." "Oh!" "Yeah, the thumb angle on your right hand is greater than that of your left which means you're a romantic at heart." "Is that true?" "Yeah." "Scott, Do you hear this?" "What?" "Miles might get his comic book published." "Not exactly." "I'm in talks with a publisher." "I can't tell you which one, but you would know the name." "Oh, that's really exciting." "Congratulations." "Well, i hope you're protecting yourself." "What do you mean?" "Trust me." "I've had first hand experience with how these big companies treat their writers." "Oh yeah?" "I don't wanna dig up the past, but short version..." "You know the Matrix?" "Scott, shouldn't we get the game started?" "You mean the film with Keanu Reeves?" "You know who wrote that?" "The Wachowski's?" "Tell him Wayne." "Scott." "Tell him." "Scott wrote a story like The Matrix." "I didn't write a story like The Matrix." "I wrote The Matrix." "It was 1998." "I was fourteen." "I saw an add for a short story contest in Digital Horizons magazine." "I had a short science fiction story i had been working on since junlon high." "Naturally i submitted it." "When i didn't hear anything back, i thought," ""Whatever"." ""Their loss"." "But it must have caught someone's attention." "Because guess what comes out one year later?" "What?" "The Matrix." "Can you imagine sitting in the theater, watching as your story unfolds on the big screen?" "And audiences are loving it." "But no one know it's your idea." "So it was your story exactly, same characters and everything?" "No." "No, they made some superficial changes," "Character names, some plot points, the title." "But the core concept..." "What was your title?" "Knights of circuitry." "Well, that's a little strange." "Not as strange as you would think, unfortunately." "No, i mean, for starters" "One year is a pretty quick turn around time for a film of that scale." "Could have been two." "I think the Wachowski's were actually shopping that script around for a while before it got picked up." "Miles." "That's not to say that..." "And let's be honest." "There are plenty of known influences on their work, from William Gibson to Jean Baudrillard to Mamoru Oshii." "I think even Doctor Who had a similar storyline in the 70's, so..." "You believe everything you read on Wikipedia?" "Actually, they told me themselves, on their set one time." "Really?" "Yeah." "They were really cool." "That's so cool!" "I know." "Well, of course they are not gonna admit it." " You obviously have no idea how Hollywood works." " Scott." "That's the problem with film journalism right there." "These so called film critics who just want to be buddy buddy with the big shots, and they forget about the real artists, who are getting stepped on." "But, good luck with your comic." "Don't say i didn't warn you." "Thanks." "Scott!" "Are you okay?" "Yeah." "Right." "The four of you have just reached the temple of Azakari, but a figure stands in your way." "I am Ulrich Benevon, son of Valrich, keeper of the stones of light." "Before i grant you these stones however, you must prove yourselves worthy." "How?" "Far to the north, there is a mountain in which dwells a powerful wizzard." "In the wizzard's study is a chest... where he keeps a single feather, from an ancient Phoenix" "Which is the source of..." "Fuck this." "Let's kill the guy and take the stones." "You can't do that, he's a good guy." "He's a dick." "I'm gonna throw my sword at his head." "But that's not what you're supposed to do." "What do you mean "supposed to do"?" "Thought we could do whatever we wanted right." "Well, yeah, but..." "Or are you the only one that gets to make any real decisions?" "Fine!" "But you'll need a 20 to hit." "I'm feeling lucky." "20!" "Oh shit!" "Give me a break." "And 20 is a mortal blow, right?" "He has to do a stamina check, or he's dead, right?" "Are you fucking serious?" "I didn't make the rules man." "You did, remember?" "This is so stupid." "14." "Shit!" "Now it's my turn and you're about to get fucked." "That's a 4." "What?" "That wasn't a 14." "That was a 4." "No, it was a 14." "Oh my god." "You are lying." "Why are you lying?" "I'm not lying." "You don't even know how to play." "I know cheating when i see it." "I can't cheat." "I'm the game master." "Yeah, that's what Nixon said." "Maybe we should reroll." "Scott, what was it?" "Was it a 4?" "So what if it was?" "I'm the game master, and it's my job to make sure the game runs smoothly, even when people intentionally try to mess it up." "I'm not trying to mess anything up." "I'm just trying to have a good time." "Don't give me that innocent shit!" "You may have these guys fooled, but i can see right through you." "What's that supposed to mean?" "You like to be the big fish, don't you?" "Come hang out with all the losers, so you are the coolest guy in the room, right?" "Look, if you think you and your friends are losers that's your problem, not mine." "He's putting words in my mouth." "You can't trust him guys, he's not your friend." "He's more of a friend then you are, Scott." "Miles put Blood Brigade on his website, and we got almost 400.000 hits from that." "Yeah, we asked you like a hundered times to put it on your blog and you never did." "Not that anyone reads it anyway." "Wake up guys, he only did that so people could laught at it." "That's not true." "What?" "Why would anybody laugh at it?" "Because it's aweful." "Scott." "And i'm only saying this because im your friend." "And i don't like to see you made fun of." "I think it's good." "Please, you really think Blood Brigade is a good piece of entertainment?" "I do." "Really?" "I do." "I genuinely like it." "He's full of shit." "Okay, i think you need to leave Scott." "Damn right i am." "We all are, come on guys." "I'm staying here." "Me too." "Guys!" "I'm the game master." "I'm the game." "Well, we don't want to play your game anymore." "What?" "After all we've been through, you're gonna abandon my game." "Our game." "For him?" "You can't do this to me." "I've put too much work into this..." "It's not supposed to be work Scott." "It's supposed to be fun." "Yeah, Scott." "The game has gotten too serious." "It's not fun anymore." "I can't believe this." "Well you cant keep your character sheets, they're mine." "Give it to me!" "Fuck it." "I don't want it anyways." "Come on Wayne." "Let's go." "Wait Scott, can't we work this out?" "Wayne, come!" "Do whatever you want man." "I'm sorry Scott." "Okay, fine." "Just know, when this guy gets done with this little expirement, and cuts you loose, don't bother trying to come back." "So, come with me now, and all is forgotten." "And everyone gets 500 experience points." "Fuck you then." "Ulrich Benovon," "Son of Valrich, keeper of the stones of light, encounters his new enemy." "Miles Butler." "Hey, i'm Miles." "I'm the coolest." "My website gets a 100.000 views..." "Enough of your prattle, jackanapes!" "Your ** angers the heavens." "I once went snowboarding with Joss Whedon so." "The gods demand retribution!" "Bob, did you put the particle board by the curb?" "Jup." "Arn't you supposed to be at work?" "I got the day off." "Well, you just can't sit around eating cereal all day." "Watch me." "I'll get it." "Barbara?" "Mel Vernon." "Actually, today might not be the best day let me give you a call this evening i think that.." "What's going on?" "Who's this?" "I'm Mel Vernon, the appraiser." " Scott, why don't you go back in the house..." " The what?" "and finish your breakfast?" "The appraiser." "Services not needed!" "Scott." "Goddamnit!" "The moment you said you were coming here, i knew something was up." "Scott, calm down..." "I'm sorry to throw a wrench in your evil schemes, but this house is mine!" "Nana said so!" "Can't you two wait until i'm dead to fight over my shit?" "Nana." "Mom, you should be resting." "Well, if somebody would check up on me every now and then, i wouldn't have to come out here." "My body could have been decomposing for the last four hours, for all you knew." "I was just going..." "Nana." "Nana, i don't like to say "i told you so", but, i fucking told you so." "She's trying to sell the house." "Oh Scott, don't be paranoid." "Oh, yeah?" "Why was there an appraiser just here?" "And why did she try to hide it from me?" "An appraiser?" "You had an appraiser come to my house?" "What's the big deal?" "Everyone should know what their house is worth." "Cut the shit, Barbara." "Bob is a great guy." "He's kind, he's stable, he's not terribly interesting, but he loves me and he wants to marry me." "But..." "But i have alot of debt." "And Bob doesn't know." "Not the extent of it." "And i don't know what he'll do if he finds out..." "I swear i wasn't going to do anything without your permission." "I was just waiting for the right time." "So what do you want?" "I sell the house to pay your debt, and Scott and i live on the street?" "No." "An old folks home." "Sandy Point retirement community." "It's very exclusive." "But Bob's cousin is the manager, and he said he could get you in immediately." "And best of all," "It's just two blocks from our place in Flagstaff." "So i could visit you every day." "You are not buying this crap, are you Nana?" "Once she gets the money, we're not gonna see her again." "Scott, you don't know me as well as you think you do." "Yeah, who's fault is that?" "Oh, shut up, both of you." "Scott, sit down... sit down!" "I know you don't have a very high opinion of your mother, but she's my daughter and she's asking for my help." "But you said i could have the house." "You promised." "Well, unfortunately for you, it's still my house" "And i still get to decide what to do with it." "But that's not fair." "I've been taking care of you all these years, putting up with your shit." "Excuse me!" "Who's taking care of who?" "How much rent do you pay, huh?" "Who buys all the groceries, look at me." "And cooks the food and does the laundry." "I do the laundry sometimes." "Jesus Christ!" "When your grandfather was your age he had a family, a business and a house he built himself." "Thank god he's not still here to see how his only grandson turned out." "Yeah, wasn't he a drunk too?" "Don't you ever talk about your grandfather like that." "This isn't over, you hear me?" "You're not getting away with this, either of you." "I'm getting a lawyer and i'm suing your asses." "And maybe i'll have you declared incontinent, for good measure." "Mr. Goran, we'll be ready for you in about 10 minutes, okay?" "Your internet connection sucks." ""Let's rock and roll"!" "Shit!" "Well, well, well." "I didn't think you'd come." "Well it's a special ocassion." "Yeah, i'll say." "Do you know this is Greg's first public appearance in 15 years." "Yeah, that's right." "He asked me to call him Greg." "Pete, i wanna apologize to you for how i've behaved." "I was very angry when Huey made you assistant manager." "To be honest, i thought you were completely unqualified." "But..." "Looks like, i was wrong." "Looks like..." "Anyway." "I'm sorry i let that get in the way of our friendship." "Okay... allright." "Thanks Scott." "Can i have my old job back?" "Seriously." "Can i have my old job back?" "Scott." "Scott, you're hurting me." "You're hurting me now." "Pete." "Please." "Let go!" "Pete..." "I really need this." "Look, just talk to me after the QA, okay?" "Sure, sounds great." "I'll help you clean up." "Hello." "Hello." "Good afternoon everybody." "For those that don't know my guest i'd like to say a few words." "Greg Goran's association with tabletop games goes back a long way." "He was one of the first historical war strategy game testers at the age of 15 years old." "In 1989, he became a contributing editor on the Hunter-Gatherer system, and later he helped found the CRPG and authored two of his own original games," "Battle Scourge and Machine Blood." "Battle Scourge!" "He's here today to share some of that history with us, as well as sign some autographs." "That's only on products purchased today in the store, ok?" "So, let's give a big hand for Greg Goran." "Hey everyone." "Great to see you guys could pull yourselves away from World of Warcraft for an afternoon." "Maybe there is hope after all." "Now how do you wanna do this?" "I thought you might have something to say before we get to the questions." "Nah." "Okay." "Questions then." "Are there any questions?" "Yes." "Hi Mr. Goran." "I was wondering why the editors of edition 2 chose to lessen the move penalty from marshland from -6 to -3." "Well, if you read the second edition a bit more attentively you'd know that that was changed to reflect the new movement ratio so the penalty is essentially the same." "Any intelligent questions?" "You." "Hi, i'm an independent RPG designer." "And i've submitted some of my own games to various publishers, but i haven't caught a break yet." "Do you have an advise for me?" "Write better games, i guess." "Okay..." "Are there any other questions." "Scott." "Thank you." "Mr. Goran, in your 1992 adventure module "Spires of Doom", the character of the ice sorceress was so fully realized that," "I thought she must have been based on a real person." "Is that accurate?" "Actually, yes." "My first wife." "Beautiful, clever, but the coldest bitch i've ever knew." "That's very perceptive." "Okay." "Also recently, my players told me that i take the game too seriously." "Is that even possible for a game master to take his game too seriously?" "Well, It's certainly important for a GM to be focussed and organized ." "When i was running games fulltime back in the 80's, i used to spend 20 hours a week in preparation." "Oh, me too, me too." "At least 20." "But at the end of the day, it's a game." "It's a way to socialize, relax and have fun." "you know, and you can get that with 20 hours of prep or 2." "Ok, moving on." "Yeah, well, don't you think there is more to it than that?" "So, moving on..." "I mean, if it's just about having fun, why not play tiddlywinks?" "Scott enough." "RPG's are more rewarding, because of what they ask of you." "Look, amigo bottom line, you're the game master, the buck stops with you!" "If your players arn't having fun, you're not doing your job." "Well that's fucking ridiculous!" "Scott!" "Not doing my job?" "I put my heart and soul into the game." "No game master works harder than me!" "That's it, you're out of here." "I think somebody needs to get a life." "You get a life!" "Battle Scourge sucks shit!" "I said get out." "And don't come back!" "Oh boo hoo." "This place sucks anyways." "It's a joke." "This guy doesn't know how to run a game store." "The only reason he's the assistant manager, is because he's fucking Huey's ugly ass sister." "Oh, Yeah?" "Well, at least i didn't let the cash register get robbed because i was in the back room jerking off to anime." "That just didn't happen." "I..." "No idea what he's talking about, I..." "I..." "I think it's weird that he would even imagine that scenario." "Would you like to see the security tapes?" "Because, you know, i kept them." "Oh, my!" "Bullshit." "How many people here have allready seen the tapes?" "No it isn't true." "It's not true!" "Why?" "Why?" "Why am i shit on constantly?" "This world is a fucked up place, with fucked up people, who's only goal is to fucking ruin my life!" "Well i'll show you motherfucker." "You want a game?" "You want my game?" "I'll give you a game to play motherfuckers." "Yeah, I'll show you a fucking game to play." "Excuse me." "Do you know where Miles is?" "He was here just a second ago." "Are you a friend of his?" "He's my nemesis." "Hum..." "Okay." "He thinks he's won, but we'll see who has the last laugh." "Right on." "I'm Kevin." "Scott." "Do you want a beer man ?" "Yeah, that's wonderful." "Are you involved in that as well?" "No?" "She still works there, you know?" "I know." "Miles..." "Miles." "What the fuck?" "Hello?" "Hey, Wayne?" "I need you to do me a favor." "Sure, anything." "I need you to come to my house and come get Scott." "Why is Scott in your house?" "Well... he... kinda crashed my party, and... he's been drinking, and..." "You're having a party?" "Uhh..yeah." "Oh..." "So, can you come get him?" "Yeah, Yeah, okay, i'll be right there." "Thanks, bye." "Ah!" "If this were medieval times, i'd be well within my rights to challenge him to armed combat." "If that were to happen?" "Spill his guts all over the floor." "It's called the code of chivalry." "May i?" "Yeah, sure." "Well, i think it's refreshing that people still have nemisis's these days." "You know, i mean you dont hear that much anymore." "Nemesēs." "Jup, those were the good old days." "Back when men were expected to answer for their actions." "There he is!" "Miles, you never told us you had a nemesis." "Scott, what are you doing here?" "Just came to party man!" "Drink some brewski's, talk some shit..." "Say, where's Wayne and Martin and Leonard?" "Why arn't they here?" "Oh, their invitations must have got lost in the mail." "Uh Scott, why don't we talk about this tomorrow?" "Whatever is going on between us, you know, we can work out." "Wait, Wait..." "Arn't you gonna challenge him?" "Arn't you gonna challenge him to a duel?" "Yes!" "Thank you Kevin." "Miles!" "I challenge you to a contest of armed combat." "Come on Scott." "Don't do this." "You and me settling our differences on the field of battle." "Fuck yeah!" "Scott, i'm not gonna fight you." "Not for real Miles." "We'll just give them a demonstration, okay?" "You guys wanna see a demonstration?" "Oh, hell yeah!" "Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to give you a demonstration on ancient sword techniques." "Don't worry, i'm an expert on medieval combat and weaponry." "Here man." "Ah, yes." "A two handed broadsword." "My compliments to the smith who forged this true steel." "No, i'm not gonna fight you." "This guy is fucking crazy." "I'm not gonna hurt you Miles." "It's just for fun." "Just do this and i'll leave, okay?" "Come on Miles." "Do it you fucking pussy, come on." "Back up son!" "Take your weapon, sir." "Son of a bitch." "Allright, the targets on the human body are as follows, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5." "Again, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5." " Wait..." " I'm gonna call out a series of attacks." "You be ready to defend,okay?" " Wait." " 2, 1, 5." "3, 2, 1." "4, 4, 2." "Very good Miles." "You are a worthy opponent." "But a true warrior does not need a cheat sheet." "He must be ready to react!" "Fuck!" "You're just good at everything, arn't you Miles?" "You took my game." "You took my friends." "And you think you've won, but you don't know my power!" "Fuck, Scott!" "You are hitting too hard!" "The gods demand retribution!" "Oh my god, Miles!" "Oh, shit." "Oh, shit." "I'm sorry Miles." "What the fuck is wrong with you?" "Miles!" "I didn't take anything from you." "It's your own goddamn fault no one likes you." "You pathetic piece of shit." "Get the fuck off me!" "Miles." "Get the fuck out of my house, you goddamn nerds." "I can sleep over at your house and take you back to your car in the morning." "I think if i talk to the guys, we can get the game back together." "After i tell them what happend, they're not gonna wanna play with Miles anymore." "I'm pretty sure." "Did you ever go out with that girl, what's her name?" "Beth." "Yeah." "And?" "You were right." "She hasn't called me back." "I wasn't right Wayne." "I only said that because i didn't want you to have a girlfriend." "Why?" "Because i needed someone to be more of a loser then me." "Tastes like plastic." "I'll take it if you don't want it." "How's your mother?" "She and Bob are fighting all the time now." "I pretty much just stay in my room." "I'll get her to come see you soon." "Whatever." "At least you're here." "Alright." "I gotta get back to work." "See you at dinner, right?" "Hey Scott." "Hey Thomas." "Shit." "Irene, where are you going?" "Just going to say hi to Angie." "It's her birthday." "Well, next break is in an hour." "You can say hi then." "Alright." "Where were we?" "Ah, yes." "Hagavar the dextrous, has just been enchanted by the elf witch." "Say, i never got my resistance throw." "I told you, Henry, dwarfs do not get a resistance throw against natural magic." "Let's focus here." "I'm going to seduce her with my high charisma." "No, Burt, she destoyed your village remember?" "You wouldn't wanna seduce her." "Oh, i think i would..." "Besides, her wisdom is too high." "You need to roll a 20." "Alright, i'll say... 19." "Good enough for me." "Please, no." "Tradução e sincronia: "Shafyr o Mago" Resync e correções:" "Roger Wilcox Eng sub by : "Leito""