"THE GYNAECOLOGIST IN ASKIM" "English subtitles by Alan Rees Svensk Medietext" "I'm starting to look like an insect." "I wonder where the nose-trimmer is." "It's only a matter of time before long hairs grow out of my ears too." "Not now..." "Please..." "Louise, I mean it!" "I don't want to." "I'm sorry." "I feel a bit stressed." "Sure." "It's just been such a long time, that's all." "Birds don't have any genitals worth mentioning." "Or have they?" "Tiny brains and no genitals." "How happy they must be!" "She's unhappy again of course." "But if you don't want to, you don't ." "I'll have to find something else that's fun." "But what does "fun" really mean?" "Louise likes popular comedy shows." "There should be one on DVD." "Dad's old seagull." "I really should get rid of it." "Hi." "Am I early?" "I'm a sperm donor." "No problem." "I'll give you a test tube." "Let's see...there you are." "Use the toilet in the waiting room." "Thanks." "I hope he doesn't crease it." "There were good pictures in it." "Maybe I should buy a DVD box and some Rioja." "I suppose we should really go away to somewhere warm." "The situation in Sudan is terrible." "The country is starving." "Did we give money to the Red Cross?" "They took 300 Kronor." "100 would have done." "Electricity has gone up." "Maybe I should go for a swim..." "What did you say?" "Nothing." "I'm just talking to myself." "Where can I have put the grapefruit knives?" "What?" "The grapefruit knives." "In the old house?" "Marie said some boxes are still there." "They'll bring them over some time." "Well, they're not here." "You should see the doctor." "Sure..." "Why must they buy new stuff?" "Is none of our old furniture good enough?" "I'll be home late." "Aren't we having dinner together?" "Can't be done." "I have a meeting at the sailing club." "Ciao!" "So long." "Hello, Tomas!" "Hi!" "He's here." "Is he in the toilet?" "It's a good job we work together." "At least we have something to talk about." "At times I just look at her and she knows what to do." "It's almost creepy." "Did you buy any new magazines?" "They're here." "I don't understand where they get to." "No..." "Look what they're getting up to!" "It's like the wild west..." "It's Berit's turn." "Another menopausal woman from Askim..." "We'll let you know the results." "Okay." "I'm confused: should I keep taking oestrogen or not?" "Here it comes..." "I've heard you can get breast cancer." "No need to worry." "You've only been taking it for two years." "You look radiantly healthy." "You don't look a day over fifty." "Only your medical records give you away." "It's always such fun to come here!" ""Fun..."" "Meaning that everything else is tedious by comparison." "I'm so worried." "I've been bleeding a lot." "You're not taking oestrogen." "I'm worried about the side-effects." "These large clots of blood in the toilet are worrying." "Could it be cancer?" "Excuse me..." "Let's see now..." "Where were we?" "Hello." "Hi!" "What have you got that's so exciting?" "You'll soon see." "I found a new kind of sausage." "It's a good snack with red wine." "Here you are." "You can give this to Sture." "Thanks!" "An entire sausage!" "I have an appointment to keep, but I'll see you tonight." "No you don't!" "Off you go!" "I told you to keep her on a lead!" "Okay." "When do the ladies arrive?" "Seven." "I'll work on the boat." "How long should I stay away?" "We should be through by eleven." "As long as that...?" "Hello, Siv." "Please go in." "It's like this: the burning and itching sensation is due to chlamydia." "Chlamydia?" "It's a sexually transmitted disease." "Since chlamydia is very infectious we must contact all your sexual partners going back a year." "I don't understand." "A sexual disease...?" "Sture and I have been married for 37 years." "There isn't anyone else." "There must be some mistake." "I know what it is!" "It must be my aquarobics class." "You sit on benches." "God knows who sat there before I did!" "But I'm usually so careful to use a towel..." "I suggest you talk to Sture." "Just a moment, Siv!" "You forgot your sausage." "Siv Melander. 390630-1143." "Repeat appointment." "Genital itching." "Cell samples negative." "Uterus palpated." "Nothing unusual." "Extreme itchiness." "Chlamydia confirmed." "Antibiotics prescribed 1 August 2007." "Hello!" "Glad you're back." "What's for lunch?" "I've got chlamydia." "What's it going to be did you say?" "Chlamydia!" "I can't hear you." "I've been to see Henning." "The test results had come." "What tests?" "I've been itching a lot down there." "He says I've got a sexual disease." "What did you say?" "I have chlamydia." "How can I have got it?" "What's the matter?" "Sture...?" "What's the matter?" "There's something I should have told you, but I couldn't." "I've written a letter." ""My darling Siv, my beloved companion through life."" ""You have meant everything to me through all the years we have shared" "for better and for worse, as we solemnly promised each other" "that hot summer day in Mariefred church in 1970."" ""You were young and beautiful."" ""Your eyes glittered like the cornflowers in your bridal bouquet."" ""Just as beautiful has been..."" ""...our journey together through life's..."" "Could you give me my glasses please?" "Thank you." ""..." "life's labyrinth." "You are a good mother and a wonderful wife."" ""I hope you will understand what I am about to say."" "Now you can look around on your own." "We'll meet at the bus at 5.45." "If you want refreshments, the café is over there." "Sture!" "I'm so happy to see you again." "You're the same as ever." "So are you." "I've thought of you at times." "It was such a long time ago." "Powerful emotions though even if we never acted on them." "I have thought of you as well sometimes." "But I was young and it's too late now." "It's never too late." "Shall we go for a little walk?" "We can go upstairs." "It's closed for repairs." "So that's why you went to Mårbacka on your own." "What's her name?" "Karin Larsson." "Our childhood love affair never amounted to anything." "I've thought of her occasionally." "Now that I'm getting old..." "there's only ever been you so I began thinking." "Oh dear!" "Is it on the...?" "Good God!" "You really should be careful!" "I'm sorry." "I had no peace of mind." "And we hardly ever did it." "But now I know you're the one I love." ""Love"?" "!" "Fiddlesticks!" "It's pathetic at our age." "You've made a fool of yourself...and me!" "That's a bit extreme and nobody need know." "You can sleep in the guest room!" "But first you can collect this prescription!" "Now really..." "Do as I say!" "Just don't go to the pharmacy in the town centre!" "Could you help me to remove the price tag?" "1 ,300 Kronor for a blouse...?" "Don't you think I'm worth it?" "Sure..." "Did you buy new jeans too?" "I hardly ever buy new clothes." "You look like Madonna." "What's the matter?" "That's positive, isn't it?" "She's pretty and youthful for her age." "Are you doing anything special?" "It's the book club." "Of course." "Whose place will you be at?" "Kristina's." "Shall I order 30 or 70 incontinence rings?" "70 might be too many." "Odd limit... 70 times 345." "What does that make?" "Hello, Ulf!" "Hi there!" "How are you?" "Fine." "Are you off on a long trip?" "Oh no!" "Kristina is so busy catering and so on." "There's no time." "You have to have dreams though." "That's true." "Do you think Kristina would like to do the catering for the regatta?" "I'm sure she would." "Good, because I'm proposing you as Askim's Citizen of the Year." "Me?" "You've been very successful." "I don't do much nowadays!" "But thanks for asking." "Think about it anyway." "Sure." "So long." "Please open the door, Siv!" "We need to talk." "Please...!" "Put the bag outside the door and go!" "Let me explain..." "I don't want to listen to you." "I just think you're disgusting!" "Shall I fry a few slices of this sausage?" "No." "You can fry some of the chops." "They're on the left." "You can have both of them." "I don't want anything." "Are there any potatoes?" "Of course there are!" "They're at the bottom of the fridge!" ""To be applied round the vaginal opening twice daily..."" ""...morning and evening."" "Shut up, Lady!" "Shut up!" "You can't fry using that much heat!" "You know that!" "Can I carry on sleeping in the bedroom if I move the beds apart?" "Stop feeling sorry for yourself!" "There are worse things." "Much worse..." "Dead children." "Children with fatal illnesses." "Much worse..." "Be strong." "Hello!" "Welcome..." "Everyone is here." "What did Sture think of the sausage?" "Fine." "Are you all right?" "I'm in a bad way." "I don't want to talk about it now." "Would you like some wine?" "I saw Ulf the other day." "He didn't recognise me though." "Not Ulf Lundell...?" "What a coincidence." "I didn't know you knew him." "We were together once." "You're kidding...?" "!" "After one of his gigs in Visby." "What was he like?" "Fantastic, actually." "Passionate!" "But he was married, so that was it." "You're blushing!" "You'd never get off with him now." "He only likes young girls." "All men are disgusting." "You just have to face facts." "Come in!" "Come in!" "Welcome." "Hi." "Sorry if I'm a bit late." "Hello, girls!" "That last one was a real tome." "It certainly was." "Does anyone want to read?" "What did you think of it?" "I really liked it." "The whole book is one long flow by Ulf Lundell." "I asked you to choose your favourite bit." "Has anyone done so?" "Well I'll read my favourite bit." "It's...well, Ulf has been heavily criticised by feminists but what woman could resist lines like this?" ""A lovely woman and the surroundings disappear in blurred greyness."" ""I focus." "She is all that there is."" ""It happens all the time." "I cannot stop it."" ""Woman is the greatest illusion." "Certainly."" ""She is nonetheless man's greatest yearning" "his temple, his altar."" ""Women may say what they like about this worship."" ""Without it, they die." "So do we."" "The man is insane!" "I said that the man is insane." "What he wrote is just silly." "I think it's beautiful..." "I agree with Siv." "He ain't no Lars Norén..." "Anyone for more Barolo Serralunga?" "For next time I thought you could each read a book of your choice." "You could then talk about it." "I've chosen some female authors." "Good!" "It was about time..." "This for example: "The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas" by Gertrude Stein." "Anyone fancy it?" "It looks thin." "I'll take it." "I thought this might suit you, Siv:" "Selma Lagerlöf - "Gösta Berling's Saga."" "No...no..." "It might seem thick, but it's captivating once you get into it." "What's the matter?" "Look up..." "look up..." "Sture has been with someone else." "It can't be true!" "It is." "Things are pretty bad..." "Sture...?" "He's the last one I would have thought of..." "Poor Siv!" "I don't know what to say." "Is she all right?" "Sture has slept with another." "Excuse me." "You've got something on your tooth." "Has it gone?" "Just a moment..." "Basil!" "Thank you." "Thank you." "Siv, you're in a state of shock." "In my experience you should do two things:" "One: take a tranquillizer." "Two: kick the bastard out!" "I have asked him to move to the guest room." "The guest room?" "That's not good enough." "You can't carry on living together." "It's degrading." "Louise..." "I have to say that your analyses are sharp as a razor." "I seldom meet anyone with whom I feel I have so much in common." "I know it's a cliché, but do you understand?" "Yes." "I often feel the same way." "I mean...when it comes to books I often think the same way." "It happens so easily." "I'm sorry." "I couldn't resist." "I think about you all the time." "I know it's idiotic." "I'm going crazy." "Your husband must be very special if he managed to get you." "They are lovely somehow." "It's nice to potter a little." "It's doing something creative with your hands." "And as long as nobody comes to any harm..." "Hello." "Siv feels terrible." "I can understand that." "Two tranquillizers." "Two?" "One for Sture as well." "Thanks." "Don't mention it." "Goodbye." "So long." "Just imagine..." "Sture, a professor of mathematics has been unfaithful and infected his old wife with a venereal disease." "Pathetic." "Or life-affirming." "I don't know." "Hi, darling!" "Hello." "I've made tea and sandwiches." "I think I'll go straight to bed." "Sit for a while, tell me what it was like." "It's so cosy." "Okay." "It's such a shame about Siv and Sture." "What possessed him to do such a thing?" "Who knows." "They might have a lousy relationship." "Nonetheless it's surprising." "It's more surprising that people stay together so long." "That's almost unnatural." "Go to bed if you're tired." "I think I'll do that." "I'll just finish reading this chapter." "Stop it!" "I thought we might do something else." "I'm reading a fantastically good book." "It's about a woman called Gertrude and her friend Alice." "They live together as a couple." "Listen to this:" ""Most of all I love to raise my stomach:"" ""raise my stomach here in this bed."" ""The bed has been made comfortable."" ""I raise my stomach so it is high and exact and precise."" ""And the gain is...a cow."" "Is story time over?" "You're not listening." "Sure I am." "It's about...some cow." "Moo...!" "Moo...!" "Stop it!" "I want to read!" "What's the point of that?" "Come on!" "The boom is ready!" "Stop that silly nonsense!" "What's the matter?" "What's going on?" "Go to the shed!" "What am I supposed to do there?" "You're going to sleep there!" "I see..." "It will be hard to get any sleep." "Here's a tranquillizer." "Aren't you going to have one?" "I've already taken one." "Otherwise I'd have killed you." "Toot toot!" "Stop it!" "Kristina..." "Calm down!" "It was just a joke." "It wasn't funny!" "You've lost your sense of humour." "You just read crap." ""Crap"?" "Yes." "You're boring." "What are you doing...?" "!" "Dad....?" "Go down and do your duty, boy." "On your stomachs again and cycle away!" "Well done!" "Have you put on weight?" "I'm pregnant again." "Great!" "Which week?" "Almost 14, so it should be ok now." "Fantastic!" "You've never got this far before." "I'm going to be a granny at last!" "Mum...?" "What's the matter?" "I'm just so happy, that's all." "What did you want to tell me?" "It's unimportant compared to this." "There was something, wasn't there?" "You looked so sad when you arrived." "Is it Dad's stomach?" "No." "It's nothing serious." "He has just developed a bit of an allergy, that's all." "Really?" "Allergic?" "To what?" "Radon." "Can you really develop an allergy to radon?" "We think there are high levels in the new house." "What bad luck." "Yes, but he'll be so happy when he hears the good news." "We'll call you in alphabetical order." "Then we'll take cell and urine samples." "We'll start with Birgitta Andersson." "Can you move down?" "(I feel like I'm directing traffic...)" "Stop!" "Message:" "Caressing myself and thinking of you." "All done..." "Is it Lisa?" "Can't forget." "Want to thrust deep inside you." "I'm afraid we'll have to do it again." "Forget it!" "You're a bunch of amateurs!" "Stop it." "Are you all right?" "It's all right, darling." "Don't take it so personally." "There are a lot of crabby women out there, as you know." "There there..." "PLAY SCHOOL" "Where's yours?" "He's outside sleeping in the pram." "I'd better take a look at him." "Am I intruding?" "Not at all." "Come in." "You can sit here." "There's no need." "I won't stay long." "Sorry about the chocolates." "I should have bought something better." "I know you like nougat, but they have a limited assortment at the kiosk." "Or perhaps a ticket to The Nutcracker." "That might have been more stylish." "I met Marie today." "Did you say anything?" "No." "That's good." "I want to take full responsibility for this." "You won't say a word to anyone." "Marie is pregnant." "She is not to worry." "Really?" "Am I going to be a grandpa?" "Stop!" "Don't touch me." "What you have done is shameful." "There are some clean clothes and your medicine." "Am I to stay here?" "What do I tell Marie?" "As of now you are allergic to radon." "Okay, but can you really be allergic to radon?" "You can." "Okay." "Stop doing that all the time." "Book an appointment with a doctor." "I have." "I can't carry on like this." "It just dribbles out." "I'll give you a potty." "Who are those ladies on the wall?" "Gertrude Stein and Alice B. Toklas." "Aren't they lovely?" "So you're going to sit here and gawp at your books..." "I'll take Lady for a walk." "We should eat before going to the cinema." "I don't think we can go." "I have far too much to do." "Work always interferes with whatever leisure time we get together." "I'm sorry." "I also want us to have time just for each other." "I thought we could go to Portugal." "Really?" "When?" "I'll show you something." "Here it is: gonorrhoea conference in Estoril 19-22 September." "You'll be working!" "I'll be wandering around alone all day." "I'll be through by six or seven, and they have great seafood restaurants." "Won't that be nice?" "We can eat at home." "Got to." "Meet you?" "Hello, lovely lady!" "Lady!" " Hello, Sture." "My apologies." "What happened to you?" "The boom came over." "It looks nasty." "Yes, it bloody well aches." "Have you been locked out?" "Not really." "It's just a change of scene." "She's found the scent of a male..." "I've become oversensitive to something in the house." "But it will soon be dealt with." "Problems with longhorn beetles, eh?" "!" "So you've heard?" "Yes." "You have to control your mast." "Cheer up, Sture!" "This isn't a unique event in the history of the world!" "I'd better go home and help the wife." "Don't worry, everything will be fine." "Come on, Lady!" "The quilt had to be dry-cleaned." "Please be kind enough to pay the bill." "800 Kronor!" "That whore has got a nerve!" "Come and have a look, Thomas!" "How small they are!" "It's hard to believe we were all so tiny once." "Yes...the day you were born was the happiest of my life, Marie!" "Own!" "Where did you get all that stuff from?" "Really, Louise..." "Look..." "Please stop." "It tickles..." "Take me, you jerk!" "Don't you understand anything?" "!" "Why dress up?" "You were just fine." "I'm a woman too!" "Not merely your colleague!" "A woman!" "Do you know what a woman is?" "I haven't the energy." "I've done lots of examinations today." "Examinations...!" "Henning speaking." "There's no need to worry." "If she's worried she can see me first thing tomorrow." "Okay, let's leave it at that." "So long." "Darling, you'll freeze if you sit there like that." "I'll make some hot chocolate." "I think you need something warm." "I signed us up for the gonorrhoea conference." "I think it might be really nice." "Maybe we can stay an extra day." "I'll make some sandwiches too." "Would you like one?" "I want to lick you in the sun..."