"23.976" "Brother-in-law... why're you panting like a dog?" "Was there a dog chasing you?" "How'd a dog chase me?" "You were at home" "I see... am I a dog...?" "I'm your brother-in-law" "People give their brothers-in-law so much of respect and love" "But you just won't encourage me!" " I've stopped encouraging asses" "Am I an ass?" "A moron...?" "Don't keep insulting me like this!" "I come from Hoshiarpur too." "(Hoshiar:" "Smart)" "Listen, you moron from Hoshiarpur." "After what I've done today... your Hoshiarpur's going to look extremely silly" "What did you do...?" "Picked the pocket of an old woman?" "That's what your folks taught me." "I gave that up when they were jailed" "I've made ten rupees!" " Ten rupees?" "How come?" "The bus was ahead of me, and I kept running after it..." "I kept running after it all the way, I didn't get into it..." "I didn't buy a ticket, saved 10 rupees and even reached home" "Why're you wailing...?" " I'm laughing!" "Not wailing!" "Can't tell whether you're laughing or crying" "Brother-in-law, no matter what you wear, you're still a miser" "You could've saved 300 rupees instead of 10 rupees!" "How come...?" " Had you run after an... air-conditioned taxi instead of a bus, you'd have saved 300 rupees!" "Why did you slap me?" "Why do you keep such ideas to yourself?" "Why didn't you tell me?" "Maybe you're from Hoshiarpur, but don't act smart with me" "Else, I'll rip you apart" "Get ready to leave." "Got to get to work" "Let's go!" " Listen... get that too" "That bag?" "Let's go, brother-in-law." "You haven't changed." "But I'm wearing a coat." " It's an old one" "So all right..." " Listen..." "I've told you so often not to call out to me when I'm leaving the house" "What could I do, if not call out to you?" "Here, eat these peels." " What peels are they?" "Peels of the apples you had last night" "You asked me not to throw them away." "That you'd have them for breakfast" "Must you call out to me to feed me these peels?" "Whenever you call out to me from behind, all hell breaks loose" "That's hell for you!" "This is Raj Saxena's maternal grandmother speaking" "Grandma!" " Yes." "Is Raj Saxena there?" "One minute" "Here you are." "It's your grandmother from Madras" "Because you called out from behind, grandma has telephoned!" "You must've told her I'm right here!" " Yes, I don't speak lies" "Really?" "Should I ask my grandma how old you are?" "I didn't ask you how old you were when I married you" "Brother-in-law, you can keep fighting over that all your life" "Now take that call!" "Maybe your grandma has won the legal suit of 500 million!" "You might get some money!" " She'll take away whatever I have... she's not giving me a penny." "But I'm a smart alec too" "She won't get her hands on me." " So what are you going to do?" "Just watch" "Raj, looks like you have a cold." "Your voice is cracking up" "Mix two spoons of honey in warm water and drink it up" "Your voice will be restored." "But I'm in bad shape, my son" "It's this legal battle that involves millions and millions" "I've got to pay the lawyer 25,000 rupees" "This appears to be a wrong number." " Are you listening...?" "Who's this...?" "Hello!" "I'm Raj Saxena's grandmother, Mrs Gunkari calling from Madras" "But we don't sell anything of the sort at this place" "Let it remain off the hook!" "Or the old hag will keep calling" "I've told you a million times not to call me from behind!" "Not to give me grandma's calls!" "But you won't listen" "If you call me from behind or give me grandma's calls again..." "I'll give you a divorce!" " Enough!" "You say it just thrice!" "Really...?" "Very good." "Let's go" " Where to...?" "A marriage" "The bridegroom and the bride may now take the sacred vows" "Stop it, priest!" "The vows will be taken only when they pay 100,000 rupees as dowry" "What are you talking about?" "100,000 rupees...?" "You didn't tell us earlier." " I'm telling you now!" "Unless you pay me 100,000 rupees, my son won't take another step" "Please don't do this!" "For God's sake!" "I'm a very poor man!" "I don't have a penny to give you... where will I bring 100,000 rupees from?" "Please don't do this!" "I lay my honour at your feet!" "Have mercy on me and my daughter!" "Please let the marriage take place!" "I won't forget your favour all my life" "Mr Digamber, a turban is like a crown for a man" "It ought to remain on your head, not at someone's feet" "Open the bag" "Here's your 300,000 rupees." " 300,000...?" "For me?" " Yes, for you" "It's the end of your problem." " How can that be?" "I don't even know you!" "So how can I accept this charity...?" "No charity, this money is rightfully yours" "Mine...?" " Yes 20 years ago, your grandfather gave me 10,000 rupees on interest" "So that the money would help in his grand-daughter's marriage" "Am I not here at the right time then?" " What?" "Yes." "That 10,000 with interest has accumulated to 300,000 rupees 300,000...?" "This is amazing!" "Wonderful!" "What an honest man" "I haven't seen an honest man like you in all my life!" "Brother-in-law, how has a rotten thief suddenly turned honest?" "Are you out of your mind?" "If I become honest, who'll be dishonest?" "So what kind of drama was that?" "You've lost 300,000 rupees!" "It was mere fodder." " Fodder...?" "Worth 300,000?" "I gave it to a servant." "He'll be back soon." "With suckers who have millions" "Friends, to accept people's monies and return it after 20 years... with interest, has been the profession of our family" "My grandfather had started the trade." "When did he first take the money?" "1899." " In 1899... he took billions of rupees from princes and maharajas... and when did he return it?" " 1922" "In 1922, he returned the money with the accruing interest" "After that, it was my father who took over the business" "From the English, he took billions of Dollars... when...?" " 1932 1932." "When did he return it?" " 1947" "He returned it after the British left in 1947" "After him, it was I who took over the business" "We can see the pictures of your father and your grandfather" "Why's the third frame empty?" " It's booked in advance." "For him" "What rubbish?" "My father had adopted this chap." "That frame is for him" "The day he dies, his picture will be fixed in it" "Mr Saxena, I too wish to deposit half a million rupees with you" "I can't accept your money." " Why not?" "Not from young men." "The youth ought to work hard" "If they get into the habit of living off interest at this age... it'll ruin the nation" "So I can't ruin the nation because of you, can I?" "But you can come to me when you're as old as them" "Will you be around then...?" " Oh yes" "I've put my age on pause mode" "But you can give it away to me if you wish to." "No...?" "Here's your receipt" "Good bye" "See you again certainly" "Bye." "See you after 20 years" "See you" "Good bye!" "Good bye Mr Saxena." "See you." " See you!" "See them where?" "In the graveyard or hell?" "Tell me something." " What?" "How could you lose the half a million that boy had brought?" "You...?" " What do you have for brains?" "These guys who were here." "How many years do you think they will live?" "Maybe five or ten years." " 20 years from now, can they... come back to ask for their money?" " No" "How old was that boy?" " 20" "How old will he be after 20 years?" " 40" "Won't he come back for his money?" "So why must I take it?" "Brother-in-law!" "You have even beaten Satan!" "Amazing!" "But there will come someone who's going to chew up your money!" "No way!" "No one has the teeth to chew up my money" "Who whistled?" "This one?" "Yours too?" "Also this?" "Six bags!" "My God!" "All this luggage is yours?" "One man with so much luggage?" "How much must your family have!" "Taxi, sir...?" "C'mon" "Hey smart-ass!" "Who's this?" "One, two, three, four!" "Six bags!" "A new sucker!" "Brother-in-law!" "Brother-in-law!" "It works out to 90 million, 87,003 rupees" "How can I forget the 3 rupees?" " Forget it, brother-in-law" "How can I forget it?" "I'll sue you for it" "Forget it, brother-in-law!" "Whose face did you see early this morning?" "Yours, of course." " You must, every day" "We have a new sucker!" " What will I do with him?" "Six bags!" "Full of currency notes!" " Where?" "Out there!" "But don't drive him away." "He's a youngster" "You drove a youngster away earlier." " With one bag, I'd drive him away" "With six bags, I'll make him live here!" "Prepare to welcome him!" "Yours is a fantastic welcome." " Our good-bye is fantastic too" "What does that mean...?" " Nothing." "He's nuts" "Because I'm his brother-in-law." " I'll beat the hell out of you" "Pleased to meet you" "Raj K. Saxena." " Raj K. Saxena" "Don't imitate me, feller." "My name is Raj K. Saxena" "But I'm not imitating you." "My name is Raj K. Saxena too" "Two Raj K. Saxena's!" "What a co-accident!" "Move it!" "Welcome" "Six suitcases!" "A new sucker!" "Raj... watch how you fall" "I mean, watch your step, okay?" "Actually, I do up the dining table every morning" "Unless I take a liking to someone, I can't even swallow a morsel" "I have a whole lifetime ahead to eat and drink" "How about talking business first?" " What a sensible boy!" "Come" "Keep it here... careful" "Wonderful" "Open it." " Of course, I will... but please shut the doors first." " Why?" "It has to do with millions, you see." "Even walls have eyes nowadays" "He's so right!" "Jagirdar..." " Murli!" "Whatever!" "Go and shut all the doors and windows!" "Hurry!" " At once" "Done...?" "Open it now." " Open it!" "They're empty!" "I'll fill them up with the currency notes you give me" "I'll give you currency notes?" " He...?" "No way!" "No way!" "Am I out of my mind to give you money to take away?" "But I'll have to fill it up, sir." " Why?" "20 years ago, my grandfather had sold the land in our village" "For 200,000 rupees." "And that 200,000 he had deposited with you on interest" "He was so impressed by you that he named me after you!" "Raj K. Saxena!" "After 20 years, I've come to recover the money from you 10 per cent per annum on 20,00,000... works out to 146 million..." " Step back!" "Lay off!" "Who are you?" "Who's your grandfather?" "What name...?" "Brij Kumar Saxena..." " I don't know any Brij Kumar Saxena!" "We're from Benaras!" " Which country is that...?" "No country, it's a city, sir." "On the banks of the Ganges..." "What's a river?" " Water-bed." "He doesn't know the sea" "This is wonderful, sir!" "So you don't know my grandfather Brij Kumar Saxena" "No." " You don't know about Benaras" "Never heard of it." " You don't know the river Ganges" "No" "But you will recognise the receipt you signed, won't you?" "Receipt...?" "Let me see" "What have you done!" " Swallowed it" "His style." "He swallows your money and then the receipt" "You can't do anything legally, nor can you send him to jail" "It's all in his tummy." " What?" "You came to recover money from me?" "Get going!" "My money...?" " What money?" "Guys came to me to recover millions of rupees" "But I swallowed it all up." "Every penny and dime!" "But I will recover the money my grandfather gave you!" "I'd even swallow your grandpa, what's money!" "Get going, or I'll collect a fee for pushing you out" "This is going to cost you dearly!" " Get lost!" "You're driving me out of my mind..." " To hell with you!" "Get lost!" "What are you laughing for?" " Because, 15 years ago..." "I came to collect from this man the money my father had given him" "He threw me out just as he drove you out now... and I fell just where you landed today!" "To make life miserable for him..." "I started this betel-leaf shop right opposite his house" "I suggest you start selling snacks somewhere around" "When he hasn't paid me any money, how're you going to get it?" "I don't know whether you have received your money or not" "But I will leave only after I have collected my grandfather's money" "Hold on, hold on, when you get your money... get me 27,00,332 rupees, okay?" " I will, all right" "How many people does he have in the family?" "They're three and a half beings in that house" "Three and a half?" " Raj K. Saxena, his wife... and his moron of a brother-in-law." " That makes it two and a half" "He has a daughter too." " Don't tell me!" "How's she to look at?" "Young?" " Young and cute!" "Beautiful...?" " Very beautiful" "So where is she?" " In Goa." "She studies" "Will she take the bait?" " They all take the bait... if you have what it takes!" " They all take the bait... if you have what it takes!" ""Come..."" ""come to me..."" ""you, who appears in my dreams, come to me"" ""Come..."" ""come to me..."" ""you, who appears in my dreams, come to me"" ""My heart pines for you..."" ""how I wait for you"" ""All night..."" ""I can't go to sleep"" ""Not for a moment..."" ""can I stop thinking about you"" ""Your love..."" ""is giving me a kick"" ""O heartless one..."" ""I pine for you"" ""You are the one..."" ""I wait for"" ""Come..."" ""come to me..."" ""you, who appears in my dreams, come to me"" ""Why is there..."" ""a fragrance in the air?"" ""The thought of you..."" ""sends me astray"" ""I know not..."" ""what has happened to me"" ""My heart..."" ""pines for you"" ""You are the one..."" ""I wait for"" ""Come..."" ""come to me..."" ""you, who appears in my dreams, come to me"" "You..." "What did you say?" "What?" "This is wonderful!" "You splash the muck at me and even...?" "Muck only, right?" "We didn't blow you up" "You've dirtied my clothes!" "Instead of saying you're sorry... you're taking off on me?" " Here's 500 rupees" "There's a laundry." "Have your clothes dry-cleaned, okay?" "I've seen many like you" "Here's 1000 rupees." " What for?" "There's a laundry ahead." "Have your clothes dry-cleaned" "What's the 1000 rupees for?" " There's a laundry ahead" "Have it dry-cleaned." " What?" "Her clothes." " But they aren't even stained" "They'll soon be" "Madcap!" "Insolent!" "Let me go!" "I'm not doing it for free, okay?" "I've paid her a thousand rupees" "You don't know who..." " Hey!" "You're a girl and you can still give me 500 rupees" "You think we guys are broke?" " Looks like you don't know who I am" "I'm Raj K. Saxena's daughter!" "I'll fix you for sure" "She was the one I came to woo." "How could I offend her?" "Wherever you go, you will find only me" "But I don't want to be a tailor, father" "I want to become the greatest dancer in the world" "But we're a family of tailors!" "I want you to be a ladies' tailor, not a dancer!" "That's exactly why I've brought you to the fashion designing college here" "Stand straight!" "I'll go and see the Principal" "Fantastic!" "What a sight, I say!" "From a distance... stay away!" " What stay away?" "Don't get close to the mannequin." "Stay away" "Where will I find the Principal?" " That's me!" "I'm the Principal of this college for fashion designing" "Teach my son the designing of fashion like this one" "But the rascal hates a needle and thread" "Don't be worried" "Not to worry." "I'll say something in your son's ear... he'll find himself stitching even in his dreams" "But he's a real scoundrel." " So am I" "He's a third-rate chap!" " So am I" "He's a bloody dog!" " So am I" "He teases girls, you know." " I tease them too" "What?" " In my dreams" "If I were to really tease them, I'd get beaten up" "All right." "Stop guffawing away and wasting my time" "Send the boy in quickly." "I'll have an interview with him" "She splashed the muck at him." "He looked like a complete fool" "He's going to think hard before he messes with us again" "Think very hard!" "What happened?" "You can certainly interview him, sir." "Oh yes" "But there's a problem." " What problem?" "Save your legs from him." "Don't let him get his hands on them" "Why?" "Will he pull my leg and cause me to fall?" "Yes, sir." "He brought my father to such a crash... he lost all his front teeth!" "He can't even fix dentures anymore" "God!" "Dangerous chap!" "What sort of a boy is he?" "Send him in." "I'll take care." " Do please take care, sir" "Because you're a nice man" "Where are you...?" "Babu..." "It's okay, mister." "Babu..." "God!" "Here he comes to pull my leg" "You're not touching my legs, okay?" " But why have you put them up, sir?" "If I keep them down, you'll pull my legs and send me crashing, right?" "Why on earth would I cause you to crash, sir?" "You're not touching my legs!" "I know it all!" "You want to pull my legs and make me fall!" "But a disciple touches the feet of his teacher." "Old tradition" "I told you not to touch my feet!" "Stand where you are!" "But my admission, sir...?" " Your admission is done already" "Done?" " Yes" "My hostel room, sir?" " You've got that too" "Really?" "The room number, sir?" " Room number 102" "I told you not to touch me!" "Go away!" "Let's change the board" "Get that here" "Hurry up" "No..." "Kiran, apply some soap on my back, will you?" "Hang on." "I'm coming" "The soap's lying down there." "Could you rub some on my back?" "Me?" "I've been asking and asking." "Apply some soap on my back" "Haven't you had any breakfast?" "Rub it a bit harder" "Wow!" "That's something!" "But why're your tender hands feeling like iron today, princess?" "No princess." "I'm Raja" "What happened...?" " Kiran!" "He got into my bathroom!" "He even rubbed soap on my back!" " The other day... you dirtied my clothes with yours and you got on her back today?" "Believe me, I don't even know how I've landed in the girls' hostel" "The Principal will give you the answer" "Let's go!" "At least hear me out, sir..." " Shut up!" "How did you get into the girls' hostel?" "I went to the boys' hostel, not the girls' hostel, sir" "So you found the girls there?" " Please believe me, sir... it was the boys' hostel I went to." " I went to the boys' hostel too... but I never found a girl there!" "But you find them!" "It's a matter of one's destiny, sir." " Shut up!" "Tell me the truth." "What did you do there?" "Sir, I took off my clothes and stood under the shower" "I then heard this girl's voice." ""My soap has fallen down..."" ""give that soap to me, please"" " Liar!" "When did I say that?" "One moment... what happened then?" " I gave her the soap." "And she said... rub the soap on my back, please." " Really?" "When did I say all that?" " Quiet, you stay quiet" "I know, girls at this age say things like that." "They sure do" "And what happened afterwards?" " I started rubbing soap on her back" "But sir..." " You girls go away." "Go on" "It's a scene for adults." "Not kids" "Go on." "I will punish him." "I sure will." "Go on." "Go" "They've gone away!" "So tell me... what happened then?" "She said, "Rub the soap on my back"." " And you did?" "Yes, sir." "I started rubbing it on her back" "Slowly... and then..." "Wow!" "He's going away!" "The soap's being rubbed on her back" "Her body's on fire." " Sir!" "You let him off without a punishment?" " I gave him a warning" "Just a warning...?" " That's my style" "Before punishing someone, I warn him first" "Then comes the second warning and the third" "Must you wait till the third warning?" " Till I suffer a personal loss..." "I keep giving them eighth, ninth and tenth warnings" "I'm going to teach him a lesson!" " This isn't the time for lessons" "We've got to attend the rehearsal." "Let's go" "You bastard!" "My cheque book is missing from 3 months... and money's being siphoned off from my account." "Where's it all going?" "It's difficult to trace a missing cheque-book!" "I gave you a letter to stop payment of the cheques." "How about that?" "That one was snatched away too." "So was the cheque book!" "Snatched it away?" "Who did?" " Your daughter!" "My daughter...?" " Yes, she has taken after you!" "I now understand where hundreds of thousands are going every month" "My daughter's been forging my signature and transferring the money there" "I'll go and close that account right now." "Come on" "You slapped me for no reason." " I'll give you another slap too" "Listen..." " What?" "Not me!" "It's her" "Whenever I'm going out, this cuckoo sings from behind me" "If my sister's a cuckoo, what am I?" "Charcoal!" "What is it...?" "Didn't you ask me to give you these biscuits crumbs for breakfast?" "How could you forget?" " Never mind, I say" "Since you called from behind, I'll surely face some trouble" "The telephone bell!" "God!" "Save me!" "This is your grandmother here, son" "Damn it!" "Grandma!" "Didn't I tell you...?" "What is it?" "The last hearing in the court is coming up" "I'm surely going to win this case involving millions and millions" "It's our property." "We will certainly have it back" "Win or lose, why must I care?" "Didn't I tell you?" "I've got to pay the lawyer his last installment" "I need only 70,000 rupees." "That's all" ""All the lines in this route are busy." "So please hang up..."" ""and don't call this number again"" ""The lines are flooded with water." "If you call..."" ""you could face a deluge." "Please hang up and don't call again"" ""Buy a mobile phone, but don't call this number"" ""Else, you will have to face hardships"" "Who are you?" " I'm the message taking machine" "Message?" "What rubbish!" "That's the message box I am." " What rubbish!" "Don't call this number again" "Three women, I'm really fed up of." "Of the grandma who keeps harassing me" "Of my wife, who's always chewing my rains" "And my daughter, who keeps blowing up my money" "You...?" "Here?" " To sign the contract of love" "What does that mean?" " If you could fix this flower... in your hair, I'll think you have forgiven me" "I will forgive you." "But I have a condition" "What?" "You will go out, close your eyes... walk fourteen steps to me and put the flower in my hair" "Do you agree?" " I agree" "So close your eyes." " I have" "Now start walking" "More" "More" "More" "Hey!" "Why have you stopped?" "Keep walking" "Come on... come, closer" "Come on... keep walking" "Now bow a little and plant the flower in my hair" "One moment!" "Before you plant the flower, won't you flatter your darling?" "Nice partner you have." "Dance with her, go ahead" "Remember, at the Emami fashion show, I'll be the one who dances with Kiran" "How about a bet?" " Sure" "If I indeed dance with Kiran... you will blacken your face and go around the college 10 times" "And what if you lose?" "Speak up." " I'll take ten rounds" "That's Bobby Topi's promise" "Kiran, call for you." " For me?" "Kiran, my child." "This is your daddy speaking" "I'm in a bad way" "When one is hit by losses, he sheds tears, my child" "The Income Tax department has raided our house" "They've seized all documents of our undeclared income" "The Income Tax Commissioner has taken away all the money" "What are you talking about?" " It's true" "Our house, our cars and everything we have, is soon going to be auctioned" "Save me from that Income Tax officer, my child" "But how can I save you, daddy?" "This Income Tax officer who has raided our house... has a son who has just joined your college" "Just joined the college?" "What's his name?" "He's your father's namesake." "His name is Raj K. Saxena too" "What do you want me to do?" " For my sake, lure him in" "If the son falls in your clutches, the father will fall in my hands" "But dad..." " No discussions, my child" "Thank you, my child" "Has she come?" " She's coming" "So suddenly...?" " My heart, you see" "It can take a turn anywhere and anytime" "Accept this flower." "And give me your heart" "I'll accept the flower and give you my heart too" "But I have a condition." " What?" "Close your eyes, walk 14 steps to me... pin the flower on my t-shirt, and then... give me a kiss" "All right, I agree" "One moment" "Won't you say something before you pin the flower?" "Wow!" "This is fun!" "I have it made!" "What's all this, Raj?" " We're square now." "And here I go" "Raj, I did make fun of you and crack a joke at your expense" "But I really love you today" "Really?" " Really" "You're the one I will dance with at the Emami Golden Jubilee Night" ""The nymph..."" ""was venomous"" ""I obviously kept my distance"" ""She was called the spicy one"" ""Red hot..."" ""red hot, spicy..."" ""in a moment, it was all devoured"" ""The parrot had bitten on the chilli"" ""Red hot, spicy..."" ""in a moment, it was all devoured"" ""The parrot had bitten on the chilli"" ""I was crazy..."" ""so was she"" ""Somehow, our gaze met"" ""I'm not in my senses..."" ""I can't be blamed"" ""I agree..."" ""I've lost my heart"" ""The state I've been reduced to"" ""I used to wield all the magic." "And yet..."" ""I used to wield all the magic." "And yet..."" ""he cast a spell on me"" ""The parrot had bitten on the chilli"" ""Don't even ask me what this is all about"" ""He's here with me"" ""In my hand is his hand for good"" ""Beautiful"" ""My love"" ""These charms..."" ""I'm bowled over by"" ""I'm in love with her"" ""Ever since I held her to my lips..."" ""Ever since I held her to my lips..."" ""hers is the colour I've blended with"" ""The parrot bit at the chilli"" ""Red hot and spicy..."" ""in a moment it was all devoured"" ""The parrot bit at the chilli"" "Hey Bobby!" "What farce is this?" " Farce?" "I had a bet that you'd dance only with me" "But you danced with Raj and I lost the bet" "That's what I'm paying for!" "Raj!" "I'm not sparing you!" "Who the hell are you, punk?" "My daughter is being rude with me!" "She means something else in Gujarati" "But where does she know Gujarati?" " Doesn't she?" "Who's me?" "It's me... your father, your daddy" "Daddy, you...?" "At this hour?" "I'm visiting an acquaintance." "I saw his phone lying around... so I quietly made a call to Goa" "What's too much?" "This is my true character" "What character!" "A shame..." "on me, really" "Dad, I've done just as you told me to" "What had I told you?" " Why don't you understand?" "About wooing the boy, taking him around, showing him places... making things happen..." "I've done it all, dad!" "What boy and things?" "Are you crazy?" "When did I say that to you?" "Two days ago, you said it to me!" " Are you mad?" "I've been looking for a phone for two days... now I found one, and I score!" "Now wait!" "You mean, it wasn't you who called two days ago?" "Not at all!" "Kiran... open your eyes" "Get lost!" "I'm not talking to you" "You forged my signatures and transferred all my money... to your bank account in Goa." " Daughters are meant to blow up money" "Why would you earn money if we don't blow it up?" "But you can't blow up a treasure." "It was for your wedding..." "Dowry, wedding expenses..." "no tension at all" "You mean you've organised your wedding?" " Yes" "And a bridegroom, too." " A bridegroom, too!" "A bridegroom, who would not take a cent in dowry" "Is it?" " And he'll serve you all your life" "What kind of a bridegroom is that?" "Bring him over sometime" "Sometimes?" "Right now, I say." "Hold your heart" "And close your eyes." "He's so damn handsome" "Really?" "Call him" "Come on, Mr Bridegroom." " Come on" "Show up." " Won't you let me say it?" "I've said it already" "Come on, Mr Bridegroom" "Give him a hug" "Wow!" "He's so cold" "Obviously!" "He comes for free." " Shut up" "You'll feel the heat in no time." " No way" "Enough brother-in-law." "You're through." " No way" "It was tough finding a son-in-law." " I say, enough" "Let go!" " Let it be" "What the...?" "Don't go away, son." " He is here to stay" "You can open your eyes now" "You?" "Son-in-law, my foot!" "He can't be my bloody servant" "Not even my driver or cook!" "My shoe!" "Where did he go?" "He wants to use my daughter to reach my safe." "Where is he?" "Father-in-law!" "Your wildest fear is going to come true" "The father-in-law will cry and the son-in-law will have the last laugh" "Damn you!" "The father-in-law will cry and the son-in-law will have the last laugh" "Freeloader!" "If you return, I'll have you trampled under military shoes" "If not, I'm no Raj Saxena!" " Dad, what's this madness?" "I'm in love with him." " Shame on you." "He's just not worthy" "He loves my money, not you." "If he touches my money..." "I'll wring his neck." " Do what you want, dad" "But I'll marry only him." " Not even in your wildest dreams" "If you do, I'll come into your dream and thwart the wedding" "Now look, don't pick my brains." "Go inside" "Get in, I beg of you" "What a girl!" " Let's go to Dhaniram... and fix the wedding" "You'd better give it another thought." " I always think before I decide..." "Listen..." " There!" "The spanner in the works" "I wanted to tell you that I'll never call out to you when you're going out" "Now that you've done it, the damage is as good as done" "There!" " Pick it up" "Who?" "I'm grandma from Madras" "Grandma from Madras!" "A serious matter, is it?" "It's serious, she says." " No way!" "She wants money." "Cut her off" "Yes, he is in." "Talk." " May you be ruined" "Mrs Gunkari here." "Your grandma" "He's not in." "I'm his dear wife" "I was ruined the day I married your grandson" "He's fallen deep in debt." "He's gone to the Himalayas to get it off his back" "I think he's renouncing the world." "I fear, he might freeze in the cold" "Even if he returns, he'll melt down and flow away" "Don't call here again." "I'll hang up." "Hail India" "Sonofagun, get lost!" "I think your grandson Raj Saxena didn't speak to you" "He used to send me money to fight the case" "Finally he has given up" "Like me." "I'm sick and tired of pursuing this case" "He has even stopped talking to me" "Bloody scrooge" "He changes his voice and tries to fool me" "Lawyer, he doesn't know that the case worth 500 million has come in my favour" "My time is up" "Lawyer..." " Yes?" "You must deliver the 500 million to my grandson Saxena" "And tell him not to be angry with me" "Please sign this will" "Sign here" "One here" "This is the limit." "At least your grandson should've spoken to you" "Mrs Gunkari, I think..." "What's wrong with brother-in-law?" "Brother-in-law!" "What the hell...?" " Why are you hiding like a dog?" "Don't talk about dogs!" " Dogs aren't so wild" "My car ran over a dog." " Your car?" "How can a man's car, who runs behind buses, run over a dog?" "It's the brakeless car that your sister brought in dowry" "I see." "But why are you worried?" "It was just another dog, right?" " Not just another dog" "It was the minister's dog." " The minister's dog?" "Good Lord!" "It's life is more precious than a human's" "Don't scare me." " It's true." "You've got to face it" "Well!" "I was wondering why the cops called here" "They've already called?" " Yes." "I told them your whereabouts" "Look at her!" " They must've asked her." "So what?" "Damn!" " The cops will be here..." "Don't say it!" " Along with a lawyer" "May you be ruined." " There!" "The cops." "I'll check..." "Wait, you are jinxed." "I'll check." " Jinxed?" "It should be the cops" "Police!" " I told you." "Welcome" "Here's my brother-in-law." " What are you upto?" "I'm a patriot." "I can't violate the law" "He is the one." " We're here... someone has died." " Died?" "You will be charged for murder." "You are a goner" "Dead...?" "Really?" "Yes." "She is dead." " A female?" "Strange." "Who knows better than you do?" "So that's the matter." " Right." "It's very serious" "And it has to be solved right away, before we goof up" "To err is human." " So he erred" "You are prone to err, too." " Of course, I'm human too" "That's exactly the problem." "Which is why we're investigating thoroughly" "But the problem is that we know the area where Raj K Saxena lives... however, we don't know his exact address" "So it is imperative that we know who this Raj K Saxena really is" "There are lots of Raj K Saxenas apart from me in the neighbourhood" "Really?" " The one over there is a scoundrel" "He drives so recklessly, his car is brakeless" "We've nothing to do with that." "We have the court's order" "So go to the betel-leaf vendor there." "Hurry up, else you'll miss him" "All right" "Go on... go!" " Gone" "Who is Mr Raj?" "I'm Raj" "Full name?" " Raj K Saxena" "Father's name?" " Balraj K Saxena" "Where's block 17?" "Damn it!" "You're standing right there" "Block 17 starts here and ends there..." "There?" "I see" "And where do you stay, sir?" " This is where I stay" "The name is right" "Father's name is right, too" "Looks decent, too" "Block 17... right" "Mr Raj, there's bad news for you" "There's good news, too" "The good news is that you've become a millionaire overnight" "And the bad news is that your grandma is dead" "Raj, your grandma is dead." " But she died 10 years ago" "I'm acting." "You'd better act, too, and you will become a millionaire" "My grandma is dead!" "Lord" "Oh, what have you done, Lord?" "What am I to do now?" "Grandma, I'm coming!" "Look, don't be upset." "Please listen to me" "Don't weep." "Your grandma willed a demand draft of 500 million to you" "500 million?" "Mine?" " Yes 500 million!" " I have with me her belongings" "Spectacles, a shawl, a walking stick and some clothes" "I'll give it to you the next time I come." "Goodbye" "You made me cry for no reason." " No reason?" "You got 500 million... for shedding a few drops of tears." " What do you mean?" "It is that Raj K Saxena's grandma who died" "The advantage of bearing the same name fetched you 500 million" "Which means... if God snatches something away, He offers you something too" "I've become a millionaire!" "Brother-in-law, by jogging it out, we've saved 200 bucks till here 225 bucks, to be exact" "It's 300 now 300?" "It's 600." " How come 600?" "300 yours and 300 mine" "Why should both of us pay when we're travelling in the same taxi?" "As for me, I won't be travelling with a jerk like you" "Both of us will travel in different taxis" "I'm not travelling with a scrooge like you either" "Please sit in the taxi, I'll drop you" "For free?" " Taxi drivers are very generous" "No way." "It's a matter of the bill, which I'll be paid for" "Bill?" "Who's going to foot the bill?" " The mental asylum" "The mental asylum!" "Right." "The chaps there told me that if I fetch them lunatics... they will pay me the taxi fare" "So you see, I'll get paid" "Chicken..." " Murli!" "Hardly matters" "Are you watching what I'm watching?" " Yes, brother-in-law" "Which means, you guys are not mad" "Shut him up, will you?" " We aren't mad" "But that boy will surely drive us mad" "I know the boy" "His grandma died, left behind millions of rupees for him." "He's having a ball" "Look" "He's distributing notes of 500 denomination" "You wish you were a beggar, right?" "Hey!" "Look at a big boy cry" "For 500 bucks?" "Not for the money, Chicken..." " Murli!" "Get the name right" "It's one and the same thing." "It reminds me of my grandma" "His grandmother died and left him millions." "Mine only abuses me... and keeps asking me for money." " Tell you something... she hasn't called for days now" "Must she call me?" "Every time your jinxed sister nags me... my grandma calls up." " I'm surprised" "What about?" " This guy is going to make you... face the music someday" ""Hear me, father-in-law"" ""I'm allergic to wealth"" ""Let me meet my beloved"" ""For me..."" ""my bride is my dowry"" ""Get us married, father-in-law"" ""The girl is willing..." "heed my appeal"" ""Give the bride away, you will be blessed"" ""Don't take me for a fraud"" ""Don't take him for a fraud"" ""Get us married, father-in-law"" ""The girl is willing..." "heed my appeal"" ""I'm richer than you"" ""So tell me, father-in-law, what do you think?"" ""Tell me"" ""Neither silver nor gold, neither bungalow nor car..."" ""I want my bride to come only wearing a dress"" ""Don't take me for a broke tailor"" ""The girl is willing..." "heed my appeal"" ""The girl is willing..." "heed his appeal"" ""How dare you think of becoming my son-in-law"" ""Why don't you go and look into the mirror?"" ""I know your types, punk"" ""I'm not giving you my girl"" ""You are not worthy of being even my cook"" ""This wedding is not happening without my consent"" ""This wedding is not happening without his consent"" ""Daddy, don't break our hearts"" ""You too, my child?"" ""Daddy, don't break our hearts"" ""Happily give your consent to this relationship"" ""When the boy and the girl are willing..."" ""father-in-law, the priest has no choice"" ""I'm his princess, he's my Prince Charming..."" ""Don't take him for a fraud son-in-law"" ""Get us married, father-in-law"" ""The girl is willing..." "heed my appeal"" ""Listen to me, father-in-law, listen..."" ""get us married." "Let's become relatives"" ""That's a dream you will see for ever"" ""I've brought the priest over." " I'll throw him out"" ""I've brought the mullah over." " I'll box him"" ""Father is here..." " I've called the police over"" ""I'll go on a hunger strike!" " I won't allow you"" ""I'll take my bride away!" " I'll send you to jail"" ""Don't get worked up." " Don't work up this matter"" ""Give your consent, please." " I'm a tough nut to crack"" ""Tough, eh?" "What are you saying?"" ""Tough, really?" "Then hear this..."" ""from a madcap"" ""Give me your daughter, father-in-law." "I'll make you a grandfather"" ""What did you say?" "No way"" ""Never, never"" ""I will, I will"" ""Yes, yes"" ""No"" ""No"" "Trembling?" "You're trembling" "Even a tiger trembles before Sher Aflatoon" "Death is terrible" "Spare me!" "Brother..." "Salaam." "We have found out" "He's a young boy." "Raj K Saxena" "He's got all of 500 million" "Keep talking." "You are my brothers." "Go on" "Brother, he is from Benaras" "Stays in Vidya Nagar." "Blows up money like water" "Really 500 million" "I have a right over 250 million" "Tell him to give me my 250 million and live in peace" "If he doesn't agree, show him this bloodstained coat" "I will." " He will agree" "Well... what's your name...?" " Nothing" "You forgot my sister's name?" "Rekha!" " Forget it" "Call our daughter." "The suitor's family is here to see her" "Greetings" "Good Lord!" "Is he the suitor?" " Good..." "He's not the suitor." "There he is" "Is he, really?" " Or, is he a parrot?" "Shut up." "Call her here." "They've come to see her" "She flew to Dubai yesterday" "What?" "Your daughter goes to Dubai before her wedding?" "That too all alone?" " Daddy!" "The girl is flawed" "Dubai?" "That too, all by herself?" "We don't want this alliance." " Let's go" "We don't want an alliance with such a family." "I don't want to hear a thing" "Listen to me..." " We don't want this alliance" "Listen..." "What a shame!" "My daughter goes to Dubai and I don't even know!" "Only if you spare time from inventing formulas to scrimp and save" "You keep making entries of dead old men" "You never care for your family." " But you should've told me... that my daughter flew to Dubai." " She has gone on a world tour" "World tour?" "You should've said that to the suitor's family" "Why did you say Dubai?" " Dubai is the first halt" "You should've said so" "Looks like another suitor." "I'll check." " Hang on." "Follow me" "Greetings." " Old nuisance, brother-in-law" "But I didn't run over anyone today." "What is it?" "Mr Raj K Saxena is not at home" "I have his belongings with him." " Don't even mention him" "Why?" " He ran away with his daughter" "She's your niece, too." "Why must you tell outsiders?" "Outsiders?" "But I'm inside my house." " You are shameless" "Take it easy, please" "If you could keep these things of his..." "Dump them in a trash bin!" "Not here" "Make him see reasons." "Besides, it's only a few things;..." "Walking stick, spectacles, shawl, grandma's picture... that's all" "Brother-in-law, you mustn't insult elders' pictures." "Keep it" "Why don't you keep it?" " Gosh!" "Give it to me, mister" "Hats off to the grandma who left behind 500 million for her grandson" "Let me take her blessings" "My luck might just shine" "This is what you call granny!" "And you!" "You never bother about your granny" "At least take a look." "Your luck might shine too" "I don't want..." "Hey!" "That's my granny!" "What?" " She's my granny" "Your granny?" " Yes, I swear by you" "Don't swear by me." "I'm not a scrooge." " She's my granny!" "Which means, your granny is dead." " No, I'm dead" "That fraud Raj K Saxena flew away with my daughter and my 500 million" "Somebody catch him." "Somebody call the police" "Somebody call the army!" "My 500 million!" "He!" "You gave my 500 million to the wrong guy" "You will break it." " To hell with it!" "Give me back my 500 million!" "If this is your granny, and if your money has gone to the wrong guy... you alone are responsible for it." " How am I responsible?" "How strange!" "I had come to you." "You said you are not Raj K Saxena" "You told me he lives there." "You told me, didn't you?" "Shut up!" "It appeared as if you had come to arrest me" "We lawyers have a typical style." " Damn the style" "My 500 million has gone down the drain!" "I don't even have short change." " My 500 million!" "I'll get my money back!" "Somebody buy me a ticket to tour the world!" "This is our money!" "Jackpot!" "Damn you!" "Bullseye!" "My Lord, you harass me a lot" "Where do you always go leaving me behind?" "You wooed me back in Kerala." "For you, I went against my father" "I fought with my brother and my uncles" "You brought me to a foreign land, I didn't resist" "Why do you always disappear like a horse?" "You are a Punjabi, I'm a Malayali" "I'm observing a fast for your long life" "But where are you?" "I can't break my fast without seeing you" "Where are you?" " Hi sis" "Eighteen scoundrels died and I was born" "You are hungry, aren't you?" "Eat your husband up" "No more worries." "Once he's out of the way, there'll be no problems" "How could you say such things about your brother-in-law?" "My brother-in-law is of the stud genre" "I'm not of the ass genre unless I rein him in" "Don't you malign our family" "Whatever we are, we mustn't make it obvious." "Okay, darling?" "I mustn't?" "I'd rather take his hat off and thrash him!" "Okay, sis." "I'm going to find him and bring him back home!" "What are you doing here?" "Take the wheels" "Are you going to India?" " I'm fleeing to India" "Fleeing?" "From your wife?" " From my brother-in-law, too" "They are a bloody menace." " What?" "I mean, disturb me... what they say?" " Harass?" "C'mon, start the car, I'm getting late" "That side!" "Are you also going to drive like that?" "Give your wife or brother-in-law the slip, but please spare me" "Here you are 500 dollars...?" "Sir..." "There's a taxi" "He's back already?" "Got into new clothes in no time" "Put the stuff in the car, quick." " But you were going to India... fleeing from your wife, right?" " Me...?" "I just arrived from India" "Rubbish." "I picked you up from Michael street" "Damn, he's off his rockers." " This is the first time... he's flown abroad." "He's a scrooge." "Won't even dream about a foreign land" "Why not?" " To save expenses." "He's here... out of sheer helplessness." " What makes him so helpless?" "Shall I tell him?" "A chap ran away with his daughter" "Aren't you ashamed to reveal family matters to strangers?" "Brother-in-law, if we want them to help us, we must tell them the truth" "Is it?" " Yes" "Where are you going?" "Get back" "Have you seen them?" "Have I...?" "Oh yes!" "I dropped them at Hotel Hill, ten days back" "Ten days back?" " Yes." "He was boasting away" "Said, he stayed for 8 days in Paris, 12 days in Switzerland... 18 days in London... he was talking as if he was a millionaire" "Millionaire, my foot!" "Bloody pauper!" "He's blowing up my money" "Take me there!" "I'll reward you the way no Indian ever did" "Really?" "Let's go" "Mummy here, dear" "Raj here, mummy." " Kiran's daddy has left India" "He's been trying to trace you you since ten days" "He has found out where you are put up." "He must be reaching there any time" "Don't worry." "We've fixed the worst." "We'll fix daddy, too" "Okay, son" "What?" " A few tears" "Wrestler..." "It's serious" "Bullseye" "Great place, brother-in-law" "Grand hotel" "It's the biggest resort around here." "I dropped them right here" "Couldn't you find a third-class hotel?" " It wasn't my idea, though" "Our stuff!" "He's taking them away." " Easy, brother-in-law" "Put it down." " Put it down, please" "Sir, you were supposed to reward me like no Indian ever did" "Oh yes." "I was too tensed to remember" "Take this." " What's this?" "Sand-lizard oil." "Hold it" "If someone hits you, whacks you, thrashes you... just apply this all over your body." "The pain will disappear in half-hour" "You'll be ready to take more blows." " Shameless oil, I must say!" "Take care of it, while I look for that shameless boy" "Conned a smart guy like me." "How strange" "He's staying in a grand hotel." "He's ruined all your money" "Stop rubbing salt into my wounds." " A cup of tea must cost 350 bucks" "Shut up." " An omelette must cost 500 bucks" "I'll scratch your face." " This way" "Brother-in-law, room number 605" "Get the stick" "The stick's treated with oil." "Use it carefully" "What do you mean?" " He's young" "Don't hit in the wrong place." " Shut up" "I'm going to hit him to a sixer." " Hail Hanuman" "His voice has changed" "That's because he swallowed my money." "I'll beat the hell out of him" "I'll rip him apart." "Gather the pieces." " Sure" "I'm dead!" "Mother!" "Sounds like brother-in-law" "Is he beating or getting beaten up?" "Can't figure it out" "Brother-in-law, I told you to be careful." "He's young" "No, he's a wrestler." "Look at that" "Take this trash out." " All right, sir." "Sorry, sir" "He beat me black and blue." "Which room did you send me in?" "605!" " Did you check the room number?" "I did." " This foreign land has disgraced you" "Let's get out of here." "Get up" "So sorry" "Take this." "Sand-lizard oil" "If you are beaten up, thrashed or whacked... you will be ready in half-hour to take more blows" "I see." "I've run out of gas" "Else, I'd have made this day memorable for you" "Apply it to your taxi when it meets with an accident lt'll be fixed." "Get lost" "See?" "He serves me with the same sauce." " Insolent" "Who?" " He!" "Not you" "I won't spare him if I find him." " Who?" "Him!" "What's his name?" " Raj?" "Yes." "I'll beat the music out of him!" " Music?" ""When my heart beats..."" ""it feels like..."" ""you are hiding..."" ""somewhere inside my heart, my love"" ""In every breath of mine..."" ""the fragrance of your breath lingers"" ""It's etched in my memories;..."" ""the season of your love"" ""My love..."" ""my sweetheart..."" ""my honey..."" ""you are my darling"" ""When my heart beats..."" ""it feels like..."" ""you are hiding..."" ""somewhere inside my heart, my love"" ""Obsession is taking over"" ""It's driving me crazy"" ""This rising intoxication..."" ""is making me lose my composure"" ""It is dreams about you..."" ""that invade my eyes every moment"" ""My love..."" ""O my love"" ""My loneliness urges me..."" ""to hold you in my arms"" ""Let me forget the whole world"" ""Let only your name linger on my lips"" ""All my life, sweetheart;..."" ""my love for you is insatiable"" ""My love..."" ""my sweetheart..."" ""my honey..."" ""you are my darling"" ""When my heart beats..."" ""it feels like..."" ""you are hiding..."" ""somewhere inside my heart, my love"" ""In every breath of mine..."" ""the fragrance of your breath lingers"" ""It's etched in my memories;..."" ""the season of your love"" "Chicken, get them!" "I've caught them!" "Come on, quick" "Don't let them go!" "Double-crosser!" " He bought me a flight ticket" "I got to show some gratitude." "If he returns without me..." "I'll be ruined." "I'll have to go around begging." "Don't worry..." "I'll let you go when he's near." " Promise?" "Promise." " You won't betray us, will you?" "I won't." "I've got them, brother-in-law!" "Come here, quick" "Hold them tight" "Who is it?" "Go on, take a look" "Is he a friend?" "How could he grab him?" "Listen guys..." "I have found my brother-in-law!" " Brother-in-law, my foot!" "Let me go" "How can I let you go?" "My sis is observing a fast for you" "I'm not going to leave you." " Your sis?" "My wife?" "You think you can con me by forcing me into a relationship?" "Come home, and you will know." "Here goes..." "I picked him up!" "I found him!" "I picked him up!" "I found him!" "Good Lord!" "Look who I brought home" "What have you done to my husband?" " Helped him sniff some chloroform... made him unconscious and brought him home to you" "He will come around, won't he?" " If he doesn't, I'll get you another" "Lord!" "How could you say that?" "He's my husband" "You dog!" "Wait, let's make a phonecall." " All right" "Why do you sound so heavy, mummy?" "I'm not mummy." "I'm an extortionist" "Extortionist?" "Raj, it's some extortionist." "Talk to him" "Where do you go begging, sir?" "Sonofagun!" "I'm Shera's younger brother" "My business runs on contracts." "Fooling around with me is fooling with death" "What do you want?" " You got 500 million for free" "I want 250 million" "Are you grandma's relative?" " Not a relative." "But I have a right" "He has a right." "Then it's no good arguing" "Come over to hotel Plantation." "You will get your 250 million" "All right" "Who was it, Raj?" " Someone wants to extort 250 million" "Now what?" " Old trick." "Water, please" "Can't help it" "More" "Wrestler!" "Wrestler..." "I've asked your help so many times that I'm ashamed to ask for more" "Shall I?" "Shall I?" "Sure?" "Hear" "Bullseye" "Look, we're not here to eat, we're here to extort money" "Sonofagun!" "Talk about money" "I'm giving you." "You think I'll be bringing all the money abroad?" "No way" "That's why I've borrowed for someone" "You borrowed money?" "From whom?" "From him" "Milkshake." "It's healthy." " I love milkshake" "But I'm here to extort money, not to make you serve us" "Where's the money?" " Talk" "You'd better eat now, because you are going to get weak" "Weak after eating?" "How's that?" " You'll find out later" "Come... the stuff is waiting for you." " You are our first client who... has treated us to a sumptuous meal." " The last, too" "What did you say?" " Nothing." "The stuff's waiting for you" "The swine conned us." "No one here." "Where's the money, brother?" "Where's our money?" "Want money, eh?" "Who is it?" " Want money, eh?" "Yes." " Yes" "How much did you get?" "Nothing?" "Okay, take them away, please" "I won't spare you" "Bullseye" "My Lord..." " Get lost, maid" "Gosh!" "I'm your wife." " You look like a sweeper" "Don't say that." "You are my husband, I'm your wife" "Are you out of your mind?" "My wife is in Mumbai" "In Mumbai?" "Gosh!" "One wife in India, another here!" "How dare you?" "I'm going to sauce you" "Hardly matters." "My wife is in Mumbai." "You are not my wife" "You forget." "You saw me in a discotheque in Kerala" "You spent a lot of money... it was fun." " Hang on" "I spent money on you?" " Yes" "Wrong number." "I'm a first rate scrooge" "If my money falls into the gutter, I recover it, clean it up... and put it back into my wallet." "How can I spend it on you?" "You are joking" "Now that I've taken a look at you, I can eat" "Consume poison." "I'll offer..." "Who's that?" "She's passed out." "I should leave before I'm caught again" "Did you find them?" " They flew away to India today" "Flown already?" "Which flight?" " Air India" "Book tickets for the next flight." "We're going to India right away" "I'll wring that lawyer's neck, tear his clothes up... break his teeth, and I'll..." " Enough!" "Lawyer!" "May you be ruined" "Where's that lawyer who made me lose my 500 million?" "He's bathing upstairs." " Getting wet after drying me up?" "Wait till I change his colour!" " Sir, don't go there" "The bathroom doesn't have a latch." " I'd even swallow the door" "Lawyer!" "May you be ruined" "Where are you, lawyer?" "How did you enter?" " I'd even enter the bathtub" "Who the hell are you?" "I'm 500 million!" "500 million." " Yes, I recognise you" "Get up." " Aren't you ashamed?" "One moment" "I'm naked." " I'll have you paraded naked" "Give me my 500 million." " Your 500 million?" "What 500 million?" "I'll have this telecast live." " I'm naked" "Give me my 500 million." " I gave it away" "Why?" "Was it your father's money?" "Where's my grandma's will?" "Which grandma?" "I'm naked." " Don't remember my grandma's will?" "My grandma's will?" " I'll give it to you" "Let go the towel" " After you give me her will" "Okay, I'll get it... give me towel." " No, you will escape" "Where can a naked man run?" " I don't trust you" "Get it, I'll be right here." " All right" "I'll even chase you outside" "No girl ever saw me naked, but this chap has seen me" "Here you go" "On the basis of this will, I'll go to court" "I'll go to each and every court in the country" "Any other courts you know about?" " Raincoat and overcoat" "I'll go there... what did you say?" " Nothing." "Go wherever you want" "I'll go to all the courts and get my 500 million back." "Just you watch" "You barged into my house, eh?" "I'll sue you" "Do that after you pick up the towel, sir" "Where the hell are you?" "Come out" "Bloody fraud!" "Lmposter" "Sonofagun!" "Show up." "I'm here" "Talk to me." "Get me milkshake" "Must ask my master." " Master?" "I'm your master" "This is my bungalow." "Get it" "Okay" "Polish my shoes." " Your shoes?" "Do it, will you?" "Or I'll tonsure you!" " I'll do it" "Go and tell him that disaster is here." " Are you Mr Disaster, sir?" "I'm disaster for him." "Call him, or I'll smash you" "I'll call him." " Where was he picked up from?" "Welcome, father-in-law" "Why are you grinning?" " Because it's time for you to cry" "Are you going to die?" " Not yet." "After I've killed you" "Really?" " Your temporary reign is over" "Your game is up." " Really?" "When you see my granny's will, your heart will break into a shrill" "Granny's will?" " Want to see?" "Here's my granny's will" "Is that a will?" " You think it's a bill?" "Is it original?" " Absolutely" "Show me." " What do you want to see?" "Look" "What have you done?" "What the hell have you done?" " You swallowed my grandpa's receipt" "So I swallowed your grandma's will." " But the will was worth 500 million!" "I'll eat you up alive." "I'll kill myself and accuse you" "I'll become a ghost and eat you up, eat your entire family up" "Keep it low." " Okay... what did you say?" "Lower your voice." "Shut up." " You ask me to shut up?" "Go away or I'll have you thrown out." " You will throw me out?" "Not me." "The dogs will." " Dogs?" "Don't you touch me" "Not him." "The dogs." "Rocky!" "Rambo" "Bloody fraud!" "Lmposter" "You swallowed my 500 million?" "500 million worms will eat you up" "You will go bald. 500 million worms, each the size of a melon... will eat you up." "Swine" "The shop you go will crumble on your head, in fact the whole building will" "You can't digest a penny..." " Belting out in-vogue curses?" "That swine swallowed my 500 million." "Could you buy some poison... and consume it?" "I wish to die." " If he has swallowed your money..." "I got an idea." "He'll fall at your feet and give you every penny back" "What if he doesn't?" " Then I'm not my neighbour's son" "You are your neighbour's son?" " Right" "Hardly matters." "I don't care if you get me back my millions" "Can you get it back for me?" " What will you offer me?" "Anything, other than the 500 million." "I can give you my coat right now" "I'll marry your daughter." "What say?" " My daughter?" "You can even marry my wife." "Take her away, she is a menace" "Oh no!" "I want a jasmine, not a cauliflower" "Meaning?" " I want your daughter" "Very well." "You get me my 500 million, I'll marry my daughter off to you" "Now watch what magic Bobby Topi works" "Round the clock!" "My eyes will be trained like a telescope... on that swine." " Swine?" "Who?" "Raj." " Then why're you pointing towards me?" "One, two, three... four, five, six... are you guys thugs?" " Yes" "In this age of AK47 guns, you go around with these pen-knives?" "What a shame!" "No smart talk!" " No knives, they scare me... please" "You're scared of knives?" " Very much so" "So look at this." "A bomb" "To blow you to smithereens" "Raj, they're rough-necks." "They won't heed any reason" "So what are you thinking about?" "Get cracking... go on!" "One moment, one moment" "Hey guys, won't it be a shame if a girl beats you up...?" "Speak the truth." "No lies." "Only the truth" "So take a beating from me" "Give it to them!" "Bruce Lee style!" "Enough, enough" "Don't hit me!" "Don't!" "Forgive me... please!" "I will, but go and bring those cripples back" "What a thrashing!" "Who paid you to beat me up?" " It was Bobby Topi, sir" "What are you doing...?" " How much?" "20,000 rupees, sir." " 20,000?" "What a shame!" "How could you guys sell out for so little in these days of inflation?" "You guys ought to raise the price!" "Know what?" "I'll pay you 40 grand." "Thrash Bobby Topi and bring him to me 40 grand...?" "At once, sir." "Just wait here" "Right now, sir..." "Let's go, boys!" "What are you doing?" "You guys have switched loyalties?" "But I've even paid you!" "What are you guys doing...?" "You've crossed over?" "Don't hit me!" "Don't!" "I was out of my mind to target you at Raj Saxena's say-so" "You are now my sister, Kiran." "And you are my brother-in-law" "Forgive me." "Those guys gave me such a thrashing!" "Yes, I'll forgive you." "But I have a condition" "Someone spoke about a bomb..." " Here you are, sir" "Plant this bomb in my to-be father-in-law's house, okay?" "As you say!" " Go on" "It isn't a bomb that kills." "It just explodes" "Who is it?" " Me" "Who's me?" " Brother-in-law... what sort of relatives you have!" "They came from the villages to beg!" "I've come to give something, not to take from you" "To give?" "Why didn't you say that earlier?" "Let's go and collect!" "Hey!" "It's you?" "How did all this happen?" "You went well-dressed..." "so how are you in tatters?" "The job is done, Uncle." " Yes?" "How's the enemy doing?" "From my state, you can guess how the enemy's doing, Uncle" "They must be in tatters too!" "How about the 500 million?" "Here's your 500 million." "I'm going!" " Just this much?" "Big denomination notes?" "Take a look." " Let me see" "Brother-in-law, it isn't 500 million!" "It's a bomb!" "A bomb!" "You keep it!" " Throw it" "As a youngster, you used to throw flowers at me." "Green ones" "And now you throw green balls?" " It's not a ball." "It's a bomb!" "What...?" "Blow up your husband if you must." "Why target me?" "What are you doing?" "Get it out!" "Bloody scoundrel!" "You made us rot in this prison for six months" "We're not sparing you now" "Anyone there...?" "Where are you?" "Sonofagun!" "Where are you?" "Come on out!" "Where are you hiding?" "Where are you holed up?" "Step out!" "Raj!" "Where are you hiding, you swine?" "Come on out!" "Brother, he's the one!" "Hey laddie... come here" "Me?" " Yes." "Come here" "So laddie, you know me?" "We never met." "We never got talking." "We never asked each others names... so how would I know you?" " Don't you play with fire!" "Look in my eyes!" "You can see in them your funeral pyre" "Look at the kohl." "You can see the ashes of your remains" "What do you want...?" " Silly sonofagun!" "You showed my brothers the insides of a foreign jail, didn't you?" "But I still didn't hang you" "Because we want a small part out of your 500 million 250 million." " What rubbish!" "I wouldn't give you 25 cents!" " Listen, laddie... should you do that, we'll make 25 pieces of your body... put them in a gunny bag and dump them in the backwaters" "The fishes will feed on you" "Why're you harassing a young man, sir?" "He's a young man." "His blood has reached boiling point" "But you needn't worry." "You will have what you need" "No needs!" "I want my 250 million here and now" "Sir, does anyone keep such a huge amount of money in his house?" "We'll go the bank tomorrow, withdraw the money... and give it to you." " Smart man" "I'll come tomorrow evening." "To collect my 250 million" "No tricks with me, okay?" " My lord and master... no tricks at all, sir!" "See you tomorrow" "We haven't forgotten the bars." " We'll fix you yet" "I wouldn't give them 25 pennies and you promised him 250 million?" "After much thought, I have acceded to a small request" "All in your interests, son" "Hey Emperor of Bihar!" "Hey Laloo, darling of every heart" "O sweetheart!" "It's your friend speaking." "Raj Saxena" "There's this young chap who has swallowed 500 million from me... and he just won't think of returning it to me" "Really?" "I know, you're good at toppling governments" "Where are you sending this chap?" "To the Tihar Jail?" "The oval cell?" "Sir, I had no idea you have connections in such high places" "You know now?" "So aren't you scared?" " I surely am" "Which is why I've brought documents of my land and property" "Where are they?" " Outside" "Someone will bolt with them!" "It has to do with 500 million!" "One moment... who's inside?" "Welcome, welcome Mr Millionaire" "Let me become a millionaire first." " Very soon you will be" "So ladies and gentlemen... you folks are witness that I'm returning every penny to him" "This is the key to his 80 million worth bungalow... which I will vacate in a week." "And here are the keys of his cars" "That makes it 90 million in all." "Right?" "How about the cash?" " I bought jewellery for your daughter" "I spent so much on her abroad." "Who'll pay for that?" "You will." "She's your girlfriend." "Why must I pick up the bill?" "Out with the cash!" "The bungalow and cars worth 90 million... and here's a bank draft worth 160 million" "That makes it 250 million." "Where's the other 250 million?" "I told you, I spent it on your daughter 250 million on a daughter...?" "Are you crazy!" "I could 2500 daughters with that kind of money" "I'm not paying for it!" "Give me the money or I'll be the worst yet" "Brother-in-law... you can't do any harm to him." " Why not?" "He has eaten up grandma's will." " But I have Yadav on my side" "That was a fake phonecall!" " How do you know?" "I've listened to it myself." "Never mind..." "listen to me" "Take whatever he's giving you." "Something's better than nothing" "But he's taking away 250 million!" " You're getting the rest, aren't you?" "That's too little." " Take it." "Accept it!" "Someone else might take it away." "Pounce on it!" "Go on!" "What nuisance?" "Say good things!" " But what is to happen will happen" "What is going to happen?" " Who can avert what is destined?" "Let's pose for pictures..." " What's going to happen!" ""You've stolen my heart." "Don't ever look away from me..."" ""don't ever forget how much I love you"" ""You've stolen my heart." "Don't ever look away from me..."" ""don't ever forget how much I love you"" ""I realised I was in love..."" ""when people started calling me the crazy one"" ""You've stolen my heart." "Don't ever look away from me..."" ""don't ever forget how much I love you"" ""I don't know how this legend was made..."" ""I could never get to know, nor did you"" ""You are the peace of my heart..."" ""you are the one I thirst for"" ""Sweetheart, do you even realise my feelings?"" ""You are the one I think of when I sleep..."" ""you are the one I dream of"" ""For you, my heart..."" ""pines so much"" ""Don't ever put my love to test, my love"" ""You've driven me crazy, don't drive me to madness"" ""You've stolen my heart." "Don't ever look away from me..."" ""don't ever forget how much I love you"" ""We have met..."" ""to romance"" ""What else do we need..."" ""in life?"" ""For a moment..."" ""don't ever go away from me"" ""I have you..."" ""I don't ever want to lose you"" ""Hide me in your eyes every moment"" ""Hold me to your bosom every moment of my life"" ""You've stolen my heart." "Don't ever look away from me..."" ""don't ever forget how much I love you"" ""I don't know how this legend was made..."" ""I could never get to know, nor did you"" "Shera-bhai, I hope you now believe how we've been robbed" "We had millions till yesterday." "But we're paupers today" "What do you mean?" "I mean, I can't even offer you tea today" "Make a call to Saxena!" "Hurry" "It's me here." "Me" "Why bleat like a goat?" "Are you getting sacrificed?" "I don't get sacrificed." "I bite" "Are you a dog?" " Hey!" "Listen carefully" "I have nice ears." "Carry on with the rubbish" "You got the bungalow yesterday morning?" "So I did." "Why does it make you jealous?" "You got the money too?" " Yes." "What's biting you?" "I'm about to do something." "Which is why I'm getting you to agree" "See?" "He admitted it!" " He took away everything!" "One minute, one minute" "You've amassed a lot of wealth" "So what have you got to lose?" "Bloody moron!" "Don't talk back at me!" "From your wealth, I want my share." "250 million 250 million?" "Can you even count upto 250 million?" "When Shera makes an extortion demand... like a falcon, he flies away with it" "Now listen to my theory" "The water I bathe in, I don't let it flow into the gutters" "I boil it and drink it up." "I serve it to my guests" "When a man doesn't throw away the water he bathes in... you think he'll give you 250 million for nothing?" "Is it up for grabs?" "Not just you." "Even your father will give it to me" "Who's Raj Saxena?" "I've stopped taking deposits and lending the money on interest" "We've come to collect money, not to pay it" "To collect?" " Yes" "From me?" " Yes" "And who could you be?" " You want to know who I am?" "Bloody pigeon!" "I'll tell you" "I called you moments ago, didn't I?" "I see!" "So you're the one who wanted 250 million?" "I'm everyone's father." "Shera's here for his share 250 million." "In cash." " Forget 250 million in cash..." "I wouldn't give you 250 blank papers either" "Sonofagun!" "You don't know who I am" "I'll hack you into small pieces and throw it in the sea!" "Listen... they appear to be very dangerous." "Give them whatever they want" "Really?" "Did you bring the cash in dowry?" "Dog!" "Looks like you don't love your life" "I do love money." "More than my life." "So I keep chasing it all the while" "Shera knows how to recover his money" "Take his wife away" "Help!" "Save me!" "Brother-in-law!" "You're just watching?" "They're taking my sister away!" "Let them take her away." "Good riddance!" "Good riddance?" "You're now in serious trouble" "Forget the woman." "And take him along" "Hey... why me?" "What are you going to do with me...?" "Where are you taking him...?" " To hell!" "That's all right then." "He has a lot many relatives there" "He's going to enjoy it." "Take him away!" "Raj, some gangster called Shera has kidnapped daddy" "Wow!" "That's wonderful news!" "You're thinking of jokes, Raj!" "What if something happens to daddy?" "Good thing too." "A man like him has no right to walk the earth" "He has swindled people of all their money" "We've got to save daddy, Raj!" "Shera has made a ransom demand of 250 million" "All right." "Let me do something for my future father-in-law" "What're you doing with so much rope...?" " You talk too much, silly fig!" "You're a parcel of Shera's currency notes" "How come?" "If I were a parcel, wouldn't I make money for myself?" "Quiet!" "You've been talking rubbish for a long time!" "Anymore rubbish from you and I'll take out life from your body... like children deflate a balloon!" " Take what you want" "Even puncture me." "But don't take any money from my pockets" "Because I've always taken money." "I've never given it" "I know you won't part with the money so easily" "Shera has made other arrangements" "Where's Shera's money?" " We've got your share, Shera-bhai" "I'm a man of honour." "Step out and take a look" "I'm sitting in the car and the van behind me carries your 250 million" "It's here." "The dough!" "What dough...?" "What dough?" "So you've come to save the life of your future father-in-law?" "Yes, Shera-bhai." "I've brought your share... in a van actually" "Go and get the money, guys" "Go and unload it" "Does your father-in-law suffer from a disease of talking too much?" "Yes, he's driven me nuts too." "He's a regular chatter-box" "Here it is." " So many gunny bags?" "What is it?" "I brought the money in loose change." " Rotten fig!" "You think I'm going to count the loose change?" "Shera-bhai, you know what a scoundrel my pa-in-law is" "He was afraid it would get stolen." "So he got it converted into change" "If someone came to steal, he'd need no less than a dozen men" "The men wouldn't come and the money wouldn't go away." "Simple" "But who's going to count that?" " You have so many men" "Hurry up" "Unload it." "Go on" "Bring that parcel of money here." " Sure, I'll be on my way" "Time for you to make a move." "C'mon" "How will I move?" "Set me free" "Oh yes, I'll free you" "Lack of it...?" " What?" "Nothing... brains" "This ship, this ship and this one... ought to be dismantled in 10 days." "An investment of 10 million Dollars" "You've come all the way from London only to break up the ships, sir?" "There's a lot of money to be made." "We'll discuss that later" "Is there a toilet nearby?" " Take a right from there, sir" "Where's my brother-in-law." "Dude?" " The name isn't dude... they call me Qutub Minar." " Whatever minar you are..." "I told you to find my brother-in-law." "So where is he?" "Your brother-in-law's been hopping around like a frog..." "Hey!" "There's your brother-in-law!" "Those guys are dragging him away" "God Almighty!" "My brother-in-law in this state?" "Where do you think you're going?" "Where has he gone...?" "Over there!" "The scoundrel!" "Where do you think you're going?" " Yes?" "Where were you running away to?" " No running." "I'm going to the toilet" "What's that?" " You don't know what a toilet is?" "Let go of my hands" "Get him!" "Where are you going...?" " I'm not running away" "I badly want to pee." " You're lying!" "I want to pee, I swear." " You want to pee, eh?" "C'mon" "Go on inside and come back soon." " Don't take too long" "I'll come back if you let me go." " All right, go on" "Where has my brother-in-law gone?" "Where...?" "We're taking you away now." " We're not letting you go!" "I forgot, I forgot" "Over there!" "Brother-in-law!" "Gotcha!" "So you come chasing me from London?" "I'm not your brother-in-law!" "You are too!" "Wherever you go, I will follow you" "Why've you gagged him?" " He was cursing us in English" "English?" "My father-in-law has never been to school" "How did he pick up English?" "Take that gag off" "Take it off" "See...?" "See?" "One moment..." " What's he saying?" "A third-rate father-in-law using such high-class English expletives?" "Have you been training him in English speaking?" "I'm taking you to my sister today!" " No way" "I'll explain." "I came to India to buy ships" "The 250 million is gone." "Where will you buy a ship from, pa-in-law?" "Pa-in-law...?" "One minute" "I haven't a son or a daughter." "So how do I become your pa-in-law?" "Have you forgotten about Kiran and me?" " Kiran...?" "My name is Kiran Kumar." "Where did the other Kiran spring from?" "Looks like news of 250 million has made you lose your marbles" "Lost my marbles?" "Oh no" "When I arrive, people say, "The rich man has arrived"" "Look at your wedding photos." "You're standing with my sister..." "looking so handsome!" "My darling brother-in-law" "Hey watermelon!" "Until that loose change is counted, you are not leaving this place" "That change?" "Lt'll take 25 years to count it!" "You'll grow old!" "I've got a flight to take to London tonight" "Why must you go to London, Pa-in-law?" "Kiran and I are right here." "In India" "How often have I told you that I'm not your pa-in-law!" "Your father-in-law..." " You are!" "Your father-in-law..." " You are!" " Yes...?" " You are." " I'm not!" "Shera-bhai wants us illiterate guys to keep a count!" "Open the other bag" "Charcoal?" "Charcoal!" "Give it to me!" "Bhai..." "look at this!" " What is it?" "There's charcoal instead of money." "Look at this" "What's all that...?" " Charcoal" "Charcoal!" "Shera's not sparing the two of you!" "Shera-bhai... you've preyed enough on humans and their wealth" "I have today incapacitated Shera from using his claws" "No lion can prey without his claws" "Like you can't use a gun without any bullets" "What rubbish!" "When did you do that?" " I'll tell you" "When you guys were counting the change..." "I took out all the slugs" "You have betrayed us!" "Charcoal instead of money!" "Kiran, my child..." "Are you okay, daddy?" " Daddy?" "I've been hired." " I'm sorry" "When she's my daughter, how can I be your brother-in-law?" "One moment!" "Raj has gone inside to Shera to rescue you" "But if you are here, who's the one in there?" "Ram's here, Shyam's over there" "Yes, I cheated you!" "I cheated you" "I'm a smartass, all right" "I'm going to wrap you in a shroud" "Let my brother go!" "You want 250 million...?" "You ought to be kicked 250 million times!" "You're the root of all the problem, Saxena" "You're not escaping today!" "Not today, you old man!" "Come, Inspector" "The police show up in the end" "Get them all!" "Hey miser, I'll come again to collect the extortion money" "I'll surely come" "You risked your life to save mine, son?" "Although you're in love with money... the life of Kiran's father is dear to me" "If you must love something, love humanity, not wealth" "That's the real wealth" "Well said, my son." "At such a young age... you've transformed an elderly man like me" "You could say that blood has washed away the filth in my heart" "I've had a change of heart." "I'm a changed man, son" "I've changed too" "I've decided to turn a new leaf." "I used to run away from my wife... and my brother-in-law." "But I've decided, not anymore" "I'm going back to London with my brother-in-law" "Hey mister... you've got two brothers-in-law, not one" "So I want double the payment now." "Okay?" "Double the payment?"