"Previously on Chasing Life..." "Uncle George looked into that clinical trial, and you know who makes the drugs?" "Pharkas." "I kind of asked you out for that friend of mine." "I would've tried to help your friend anyway, but I'm glad you did." "I hope one day when..." "We're in a rocking chair..." "I'll remind you of this conversation..." "And we'll laugh because in the end, we had it all." "9-1-1." "What's your emergency?" "My husband..." "He's not breathing." "So, um..." "I spoke to one of the on-call doctors and they're pretty sure it was a neurological incident." "Leo's tumor was gone." "He was fine." "Well, it was probably a small hemorrhage from damaged blood vessels." "But he had check-ups every few months." "They did cat scans." "Well, the brain is a delicate and complex organ..." "And with his tumor and the radiation and the surgery..." "He said he had a headache a few days ago." "Was that it?" "Should we have done something?" "Could I have..." "Honey." "It was probably just a headache." "And what happened just..." "It happened." "And it happened quickly." "Someone from the hospital will eventually need to know the plans." "What plans?" "Funeral plans." "Before his last surgery," "Leo left specific instructions as to how he wanted to be laid to rest." "But, April, we should make sure those are okay with you." "What do you want to do, honey?" "Hey, April..." "Bruce Hendrie is downstairs." "Catherine wanted me to apologize for her not being here." "She couldn't." "I understand." "I guess we have some decisions to make." "Yes..." "I'm fine with whatever Leo wanted." "I just don't want a viewing." "That's my only request." "Unless you and Catherine have any others." "I wouldn't presume to change what Leo wanted." "You know, my son and I had a complicated relationship..." "But all of that changed when he met you." "These last few months," "I have never felt closer to him." "We can handle the rest of the details if you want." "Thank you." "You know, a lot of people have been coming by and calling." "Beth and Natalie, Danny." "They're just going to come over and try and cheer me up." "I don't want to be cheered up." "It's like you're here." "I am here." "♪ Amazing grace ♪" "♪ how sweet the sound ♪" "♪ that saved a wretch ♪" "♪ like me ♪" "♪ I once was lost ♪" "♪ but now I'm found ♪" "♪ was blind ♪" "♪ but now I see ♪" "Okay." "That queen can sing." "I mean..." "Yeah." "Did you see her legs?" "I'd do anything for those legs." "April..." "Can we help with anything?" "Yeah, do you need anything else from the apartment?" "I just..." "I can't go back there." "It's..." "It's too much." "Then we'll get your things." "Yeah, we'll just, you know, pack it up and bring it back here." "For now that'd be great." "Thanks." "Hey." "It was a really beautiful funeral, April." "So very Leo." "It was." " I'm gonna miss him." " Me, too, buddy." "He was a really good guy." "If you need anything, we're here for you." "Maybe we'll see you at support group?" "When you're ready." "Sure, maybe." "You know, I thought I finally come to terms with the awkward sympathy about cancer, but this is a whole new level." "You know, people keep saying he was a really good guy." "I even got one... "Heaven needed another angel."" "Hey." "I am..." "Very sorry for your loss, April." "Thank you." "You're being so brave." "I'm not actually being brave." "I'm just suppressing my real emotions to make everyone here comfortable." "Excuse me." "Yeah." "I can't bear to see her like this." "It breaks my heart." "Well..." "With the funeral behind her, she can start to heal." "She's lost the love of her life." "And speaking from experience..." "Things don't get any easier after the funeral." "Watching everyone move on, and wondering why you can't." "Losing Thomas was probably the hardest thing I've ever been through." "I guess back then, I got pretty good at compartmentalizing things when I was practicing focusing on the patient, not the person." "You weren't here to see it, but I just completely shut down." "April had to move home to keep the family functioning." "It's not an easy recovery." "Well, that's what we're here for." "I'm just now being able to put things behind me, despite all of Thomas' secrets." "Do you know the girls were asking about some manuscript of Thomas', something he was working on before he died." "Did you read it?" "No." "The past is the past." "And right now the past for April probably feels like..." "Forever from now." "Someone should teach a class or something." "Oh, that would take away all the fun." "What fun?" "It's a funeral?" "Yet people seem to say and do the most ridiculous things." "And if one more person says, "he was a good guy," I'm gonna lose it." "Hey!" "I was a good guy!" "You were." "You were the best." "How was it?" "Was it awesome?" "Of course." " The drag queen?" " Was fierce." "How did the puppet reenactment of Sally Field's breakdown in "Steel Magnolias" go over?" "Honestly, that one got some mixed reviews." "Really?" "Well, I wanted to do a whole viking-style send-off, but flaming boats in the Charles River are apparently illegal." "Who knew?" "You didn't need any of that." "Your funeral was perfect." "You know..." "You should take your time with all this." "You think?" "What's the rush?" "Just stay up here with me." "Ape..." "Good night, Bren." "Hey, Mrs. Carver." "Hi." "Dominic, right?" "Yeah." "Come on in." "Thanks." "You're April's former..." "Co-worker?" "Oh, I was gonna say boyfriend." "Then you'd be correct." "Yeah." "And Natalie's former..." "You'd be correct there, too." "Is April home?" "She's upstairs." "Come on." "Hey, I'm sorry for just stopping by." "I wasn't sure if you were getting any of my texts." "I haven't really been in the mood for socializing." "Yeah, I bet." "I wanted to make sure that you're okay." "Thanks." "I am so sorry." "Is there..." "Anything..." "I can do?" "I guess you could tell me why you're really here." "I gotta be honest..." "I really don't know the right thing to do." "Things with me and Leo were difficult, but he was a good guy..." "Stop it." "You didn't like him." "You can't say he was a good guy because you don't get into bar fights with people you think are good guys." "I don't even know why you came to the funeral." "You're only here now to make yourself feel better." "No, no." "I'm here for you." "I don't need you." "I never did." "We were..." "Coworkers who dated for like a minute." "That's it!" "That's not true." "I never should've tried to keep our friendship when I was with Leo." "I don't know what I was thinking." "Go away." "I know you don't mean that." "Please, Dominic." "Leave me alone." "It's so nice out." "I can't believe we're not buried under three feet of snow already." "You know, I know what you're going through..." "And I don't mean to rush you, but is there anything I can do to help you get back to your life?" "What life, mom?" "I understand that it feels like that right now, but you still have friends, me, Brenna, your book." "And if nothing else, you gotta stay focused on your health." "I am focused on my health." "Uncle George still has to meet with people, to see if I can get into the next trial." "It's not for another week, so..." "That's today, honey." "And he said he might need your medical records." "They're at the apartment." "Do you want to..." "Go back there together and pick them up?" "I'll call Beth or Natalie." "They're packing up my stuff." "I'll see if they can bring it by today." "Okay... okay." "I'm really sorry about your brother-in-law, Bren." "I wish you could've met him." "He was just like, so full of life." "Well, he's... in a better place now?" "Where?" "In the ground?" "And I don't even know how to talk to April about any of this." "I mean, I don't even think that she really wants to talk to me anyway." "Well, just give her some reassurance." "How?" "I mean, he was cancer-free and then this happened." "It's like even when you're healthy, you might..." "Let's change the subject." "Elle versus Dakota." "Go." "Don't avoid the conversation because of me." "I'm okay to go there." "Okay." "Well..." "How long have you been sick?" "A little over a year." "I had been exhausted for, like, a week, but me and my parents just thought it was the flu." "Even my doctors misdiagnosed me at first." "But once we found out what we were dealing with, it'd been about a month and I had to lose my leg." "God, I'm so sorry." "Don't be." "I'm okay." "It'd only be sad if I let it keep me down." "I'm gonna beat this." "And I'll let you in on a little secret." "I'm also gonna beat my best time for the 200 meter this spring." "You can barely walk down the hall without stopping for a break." "Now." "But who knows where I'll be in a week or two." "I'm gonna hit the track after school if you want to join me." "Yeah, I guess I could use an afternoon away from home." "It's a little weird being here, right?" "I don't blame her for not wanting to come back here, that's for sure." "Oh!" "Hey, I think I found April's medical stuff." "You can go." "I'll take care of the rest of all this." "Yeah." "You know," "I've never had to do anything like this before." "I've never..." "Lost anyone close to me." "My dad died when I was 18, and it was so hard." "Even with our complicated relationship." "I cried for days." "Yeah, see, I haven't cried yet." "Is that bad?" "I mean, I'm heart-broken for April." "I am, I just..." "I guess for Leo, it just hasn't hit me yet." "I remember for me, it kind of came in ebbs and flows." "But right now, the important thing isn't about you crying, it's about being the shoulder that gets cried on." "See you later." "So, I talked to Josh." "He said he's gonna try to be there to introduce George to the clinical trial lady." "Great." "What's wrong?" "Did I get the wrong thing?" "When you grabbed my medical records, you grabbed Leo's, too." "Oh!" "Oh!" "Okay, why don't you just give those to me." "Here, I can take them." " Give me this one." " Wait, wait, wait, wait." ""To be opened after my death?" Is that from Leo?" "It's his handwriting." "What is that?" "Looks like..." "Latitude and longitude coordinates." "Seriously?" "What's the number underneath it?" "A date maybe?" "What are you doing?" "April, what are you doing?" "don't you want to see where it goes?" "Why?" "To find out he has a secret family, too?" "Thank you for bringing this by." "I'll see you..." "Wait, wait, wait, April." "Please don't go out there." "Look." "Look." "Wait." "Aren't you curious?" "I mean..." "See, it's Long Wharf." "Leo was clearly leaving something behind." "We should check it out." "So, it looks like it's here." "What's here?" "I don't know." "That?" "It's locked." "Wait, what were those numbers again..." "the ones we thought could be a date?" "Uh... 4, 17, 22." "It worked!" "There's nothing in here." "It's life jackets." "Cut 'em open." "Wait, what's this?" "Oh, that's one of those geocaching tubes." "What?" "I keep up on current trends." "If you've found this, then congratulations!" "You know how to use the Internet." "So let me explain what "this" is exactly." "A few days ago my oncologist informed me that I'm terminal." "I have about six months to a year left." "Seeing as how I'm dying, unemployed and rich I thought, why not create a scavenger hunt..." "From the grave!" "I mean, dead pirates left cool stuff behind all the time." "More will be revealed as the search continues." "So press on, enter into battle and don't fire until you see the whites of their eyes." "I can't believe he did this." "Well, Leo never did things small." "So, maybe off that clue we need to go like, set something on fire!" "Oh!" "No, no, no." "We need go to, like, an eye doctor?" "No, it's a quote from William Prescott, and his statue is in front of the hill monument." "What?" "I'm just..." "I'm a huge nerd." "Let's get going." "Okay." "Let's go to Charlestown." "So my best time for the 200 is 22.25." "It's what I'm looking to beat." " Today?" " No." "Of course not today." "In a month." "So we got out work cut out for us." "Have you been training a lot?" "Well, I haven't set foot..." "Pun-intended." "On the track since my stem cell transplant." "Hey, did I ever tell you that I donated stem cells." "Well, on behalf of all the recipients the world over, I thank you." "You can touch it if you want..." "And I mean my leg." "That's okay." "So do I need a stopwatch or something?" "No, I'm just looking to run this without stopping." "Okay, fair enough." "On your mark!" "Get set!" "Go!" "Finn!" " Are you okay?" " I'm fine." "Wait, what are you doing?" "Getting back on the line." "Are you sure you should be doing this?" "Gotta start somewhere." "Well, you started really fast." "Great job!" "Stop, Brenna." "I don't need a cheerleader." "I need a drill sergeant." "Okay, I'm sorry." "I just..." "I'm worried that you're setting yourself up for like, impossible goals." "Well, that's exactly what I want." "Impossible goals..." "And I don't get the impression you believe I can." " You have to be realistic." " Why?" "So it can drag me down?" "I don't work like that." "Have a little faith, okay?" "So I think all of April's medical information is in there." "She and Beth took off in such a hurry and I can't reach her on the phone." "Well, I'll take what I can get." "Great." "Then let's go." "Uh... well, families are not really allowed in these discussions." "Well, you're family, and what if they have questions?" "The only questions they're gonna ask are scientific ones." "Clinical trials are about the research." "Yeah, I know, I know." "The patient and not the person." "But that genome sampling said that this trial could save April's life." "With everything that's going on," "I can't wait here, if there's even the slightest chance that I could help in some way." "If you don't need me, I will sit there quietly, I promise." "Then let's go." "Do you see anything?" "No, not yet." "It's nice to be out of your room, isn't it?" "I mean, you spend a lot of time in there." "I guess." "Hey, Beth..." "Can I tell you something that I feel like I can really only tell you?" "That's what we do, isn't it?" "Since Leo died," "I've been talking to him." "Please don't think I'm crazy." "I don't..." "I don't think I'm crazy." "Well, that's what crazy people say, isn't it?" "It just helps, you know, imagining he's with me." "What he would say." "Sometimes it's..." "I can almost feel him." "Well, you know, in the words of Sheryl Crow," ""If it makes you happy."" " Did you really just quote Sheryl Crow?" " Well, you know, she and I have a lot in common." "We've both had cancer touch our lives through a loved one." "You know she had cancer, too, right?" "Yeah, which makes her even more of a badass." "I don't know where else to look." "Hey, Ape..." "I have to ask the question..." "What if we don't find anything?" "We can't give up so quickly." "I just..." "I just mean that it's not like Leo left that first envelope where he wanted you or anyone really to find it." "I mean, what if he never finished the scavenger hunt?" "I mean, we can keep looking." "I just..." "I think that we should consider the possibility that we might need to give up, move on." "Just keep looking, okay?" "Hey, Ape, I think I found something." "There's something there." "How do we get it out?" "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" "That sucker's been in there for a long time for a reason." "It's not coming off that easily." "Besides, ripping it off probably breaks a law or two." "Then let's break a law or two." "Hey, Ape," "I have an idea, okay?" "We need tools or something, right?" "Yeah." "Let me text someone." "I know a guy in the area." "What is he doing here?" "We need tools." "Dom lives right around the corner." "It was a no-brainer." "Hey, Dom." "Thanks for meeting us." "Yeah, no problem." "What's going on?" "Well, we're on Leo's pre-death scavenger hunt..." "And we think a clue is stuck behind that plaque." "Hey, come on." "Come on." "Okay." "I can't remove it." "Maybe I can slide that plastic out with some pliers or something." "Oh, don't mind us." "We're just, um..." " City workers." " Right." "Times are tough for our generation." "We take the work where we can get it." "Ah, guys, I got it." "Just a bunch of numbers." "God, more numbers?" "No, this is a picture of a room number at Mass Medical." "I know that font all too well." " I'm gonna go get us a cab." " Okay." "That's my cue." "Good luck." "Oh, no, wait, wait, wait, please." "You can't go." "April's in a really weird place and I have no idea how to handle her or this situation." "Are you guys coming or not?" "Come on." "All right." "Josh, hi." "George Carver." "Thank you so much for all your help." "Well, unfortunately my connections here are pretty tenuous." "I know a rep who works with a doctor who..." "Blah, blah, blah." "But you got 10 minutes." "I'm April's mom Sara." " Oh, hi." " Hi." "She promises to stay quiet." "Thank you so much for all your help, Josh." "Oh, well, this trial is just branching outside of pancreatic cancer and is particularly sensitive right now." "And this principal investigator isn't known for her sensitivity." "Hi." "Oh, hi." "It's a pleasure meeting you." "We know you don't have a lot of time." "Uh, yeah." "Who's this?" " I'm..." " This is the mother of our patient." "She's here in a supplemental capacity, only, should you have any questions about April." "I don't think I'll have many." "AML, right?" "Yes, and since your trial is branching out, she would make an excellent candidate." "But our outside sampling of AML patients has reached its capacity, so, unless your subject offers some sort of significant advancement in my research..." "Well, that's precisely why we're here because we believe that April does." "So if you'll just allow me to take you through the specifics of her case." "There is someone in there." " What do we do?" " We wing it." "Come on." "Good afternoon." "And how are we feeling today, Mrs. Lawn?" "Better, thank you." "Who are you?" "We're quality assurance specialists." " All three of you?" " Yeah." "We're hired by the hospital." "We go room to room just checking on everyone." "You know, to ensure you're enjoying your experience here at mass medical." "Do you mind if we look around, make sure your room is up to the high standard we expect?" "So long as you keep me company, while they do." "Well, I'm gonna go check the bathroom." "I'll leave you two alone." " What's your name?" " It's Dominic." "My brother-in-law's named Dominic." "Oh, that's nice." "What's wrong?" "I broke a nail." "She really cares about her nails." "Excuse us." "Hey, what happened?" "After Graham broke up with me, I was..." "God, I was so depressed, and Leo, he dropped everything and..." "He went and got a Mani-pedi with me." "I mean, who does that?" "He was..." "He was so incredible..." "And now he's gone..." "Forever." "I'll never see him again." "April will never see him again." "Yeah." "Yeah." "I know." "I know, but we got to keep it together for her, right now." "Last time I saw the guy..." "I punched him." "I feel sick." "But we can't show any of that to her right now." " Okay?" " Yeah." " Yeah, you're right." " Yeah?" "Hey, guys, everything okay?" "Yeah, totally." "She broke a nail." "Okay, I found the next clue." "He hit it in the actual bathroom light fixture." "It's a riddle." "What's found all over the hospital?" "Go there." "Uh... germs." "How do you go to germs?" "What about doctors?" "Patients?" "No, it's a riddle, so it won't be so literal." "It's all over..." ""The roof."" "Okay, time to hydrate, Madill." "Thanks, coach." "It wasn't my best day, but who says tomorrow won't be." "Well, I hope I was somewhat helpful because I gotta be honest, between you and my sister, I'm feeling pretty useless these days." "I didn't mean to make you feel that way." "No, I'm sorry for discouraging you." "You didn't." "I just ran an entire 400 while you were getting water." "What?" "You did?" "No, but you believed it for a second." "It's not so hard to have faith, is it?" "Remember earlier you said you thought Leo was just in the ground?" "Do you really not believe in an afterlife?" "But you do?" "I do." "I don't know, it's all a little easy, isn't it?" "Heaven and hell, good and evil." "I'm surprised someone who hates labels and is bisexual is so quick to dismiss something in such black and white terms." "Maybe it's easier for you to think that because you're sick." " I don't know." " Right, you don't know." "For sure, nobody knows what happens when you die." " Leo knows." " Exactly." "And doesn't that make you feel a little bit better about life?" "That there's something waiting for us after all this?" "Something amazing?" "Sure." "It's comforting, I guess." "Why not take that comfort?" "I mean, if I die and I'm wrong, it's not gonna matter, but..." "While I'm alive," "I'll take that comfort." "Life is hard enough as it is without it." "And she was in remission for over two months before her relapse." "She's young, she's strong, and as you can see from the results of her genome sampling, she's likely not only to respond well to your trial, but also to have a profound impact on potentially expanding it to the AML market." "My hands are tied by the regulations of this trail, Dr. Carver, you know that." "I have three slots for leukemia in my trial." "Two of which are already occupied by other young subjects." "I'm sorry." " Look, she's running out of options..." " Sara..." " Sara, don't..." " No, I'm sorry, Dr. Lin, but..." "Screw your regulations." "My daughter needs your help." "Can't you give us some hope?" "Do you really think I'm unaware of how many patients I have to turn away and in doing so, they might likely die?" "Every day I am faced with the fact that the Titanic is sinking, and I happen to be the captain of one of the last lifeboats." "And if I let everyone in that lifeboat, we all die." "So I have to be the one swatting away those in the water to let them drown in order to save the lives of others." "I have enough people's pleas on my conscience." "I do not need one more." "What about a different lifeboat?" "How about Noratis, Dr. Lin?" "Aren't they developing a similar drug?" " They're phase one." " I heard they're about to go phase two..." "And much more aggressive in the kinds of patients that they're willing to admit." "We used to come up here together." "He loved rooftops." "I went on the roof of my building every night and I would look out at the city and think about all the things I was going to do with my life." "If you were to fall off this roof right now, what regrets would you have?" "I mean, at the end of the day, that's the most important thing to focus on." "Ape..." "He lived more than anyone I ever knew." "I mean, he really left everything on the field, didn't he?" "If you think about it, he came into your life exactly when you needed him, more than anyone else in the world." "It's pretty amazing." "Dom, I'm sorry." "We're good, okay?" " Okay." " Okay." "Let's find this next clue." "There aren't too many places to hide anything up here." "Hey, hey." "I'm so proud of you." "Okay?" "Found something." ""You've reached the end of your journey." ""Now go to where my journey will end and climb the boughs of the tree of life."" "Yeah." "I saw that tree at the cemetery." "This is it, this is the last clue." "No." "Thank you guys for everything, but I'm gonna go home." "But we're almost done." "I don't want to be done." "I don't want this to be over because when this is over," "I have to admit that Leo's gone..." "Forever." "I'm not ready." "I need him." "I can't do this without him." "I can't live without him." "I..." "I slept there next to him, while he died and I wasn't there for him, not the way he was there for me." "We were talking about having a family and we were talking about our future together..." "I don't have one without him." "I don't want one." "I... just..." "I just want to go home." "Come on." "So I gotta ask..." "What's at the end of the scavenger hunt?" "It's a secret." "Knowing you, it's probably something stupid." "It's pirate's Booty, isn't it?" "That's what I should've done." "Why put someone through all this trouble?" "Stop thinking about it." "You're right, it's stupid." "Worrying about the future is not living." "Today, we lived!" "This, right here." "This is living!" "This isn't living." "What do you mean?" "We're together." "We can be..." "like this for the rest of your life." "You're not Leo." "The guy who had me out traipsing all over the city today, that's..." "Was the real Leo." "But trust me, I am the wrong horse for you to bet on." "I'm the one they take out back and shoot before the race even starts." "But that other guy, that's the one who actually might win it for you." "That's the real Leo..." "And he's gone." "Am I really doing this?" "I hate you, Leo Hendrie." ""If someone is reading this letter, it means a few things." ""One, I'm dead," ""which, writing those words I gotta say is a little tough." ""But I hope that with this last little bit of time," ""I was able to live every moment to the end." ""I also hope I touched some people's lives in a positive way," ""which might bring me some good Karma because" ""given some of the stuff I've done in my life," ""I'm gonna need it." "Lastly, at the time of my diagnosis I realized something," ""my greatest regret..." ""Never knowing what love was." ""Real love." ""My hope is that if someone is reading this letter, then that means I did," ""and if you're reading this letter, then" ""thank you for being that person..." "Whoever you are."" "Good morning, everyone." "Hi." " Hey, April." " How are you feeling, kiddo?" "I'm okay." "Are you hungry?" "Can I make you anything to eat?" "Actually, I'm starving, but I'm meeting some friends for breakfast, and then I've got to run a few errands." "Thanks anyway, mom." "Hey, Uncle George, how did the meeting go yesterday for the new clinical trial?" "Well, it wasn't the outcome we'd hoped for but," "I have a meeting in an hour with someone regarding a similar trial from Noratis." "Well, I won't get my hopes up." "You should." "Huh?" "I'm just saying, maybe you should get your hopes up." "Keeping positive might not be such a bad thing." "Thanks, Bren." " Hey!" " Hey." "I'm so glad that you called." "How are you?" "I'm good." "We need another chair though." "For who?" "Sorry, I'm a little late, guys."