"Original Subtitle by yeganehaym  essamshark" "Edited and Resynched By Kijang Loncat" "In the twinkling of an eye." "More... more!" "More, more!" "Later..." "Magic is very exhausting... and I am 542 years old." "Oh... you don't look a day over 200." "Yes, I'm still as bad as ever I was." "We'll continue after I've got my rest." "Thank you for not telling your friend the Demon." "He's not my friend, he's my husband." "He keeps me in that box because he's so jealous." "I saved you from him." "And now you must make love to me, while my husband sleeps." "If you don't, I'll wake him up... and he'll rip your head off." "Oh, not again, Sayid." "Giafar, I had that dream again." "The Demon's wife, she tried to kill me, so I killed her." "You've had it now for five years... ever since your late wife tried to do the same thing." " I murdered her..." " It was an accident, Sayid." "It was an accident!" "Allah is just." "You're free of her, Sayid." "I'll never be free of her, she haunts me still." "Don't let her." "Don't you forget, I have to take a wife by the next full moon... or the kingdom will be given to my dear brother." "May he rot in hell!" "Your father wanted you to marry." "I can't take another wife, she'll try to kill me too, they all will!" "You must." "You lose the kingdom unless you marry as quickly as possible." "I know what it means..." "even the Demon was betrayed... the dream tells me all wives are treacherous." "No, no, you just had a bad experience, Sayid." "There's only one way to deal with wives, they have to be executed." "Well, I'm sure we've all felt like that." "I will marry." "There will be a wedding and a wedding night... but in the morning, I'll have my wife executed." "I'll kill her before she kills me." "She can't be a princess of the blood, her death would cause problems." "Pick me a woman from the Harem, Giafar." "Someone bright and happy... and with no thought for the future." "And in secret..." "now send for the Chief Executioner." "But that was not the end of the story." "After Douban was beheaded, the King licked his fingers... and turned to the page in the dead man's book." "He stared at the words, and then slumped forward... dead!" "The pages of the book had been poisoned... so that the King, wetting his finger, had executed himself." "Here again, mistress." "That's the sixth time this week." "These people sit for hours just listening... it's a miracle." "People need stories more than bread itself... they tell us how to live, and why." "Sorry I'm late, father." "This is my daughter, Scheherazade." "She's my strong right arm... you may speak freely in front of her." "How is the Sultan?" "The Sultan is being eaten by the worm of madness... it reminds me a little of the case of Gilgamesh... the king of Urak when his friend, the grand warrior..." " Can you cure the Sultan?" " No... only Allah can do that." " How was Gilgamesh cured?" " It was a young woman who did it." "No one knows how... a complete amateur." "Beginner's luck." "That sort of thing can be really, really distressing... for an experienced professional like myself." "When did Schahriar become so ill?" "When I played with him as a child in the palace he was always so happy." "Everybody loved him." "Madness creeps in unseen and floods the soul." "You're no help!" "Patients often say that, but what do they know?" "Should I get a second opinion?" "Why not?" "I can come back tomorrow." "I didn't know Schahriar was this ill." "I've been trying to keep it from everybody." "You look terrible, father." "Oh, it's only natural." "I have to deal with the worst kind of madman... a madman with power!" "You understand what is needed?" "I know my job, Sayid." "You wish your bride to be executed the morning after the wedding." "Early." "There are certain procedural problems, Sayid... as I will be executing her after the wedding... it means she will be Sultaness... who by tradition cannot be hung or beheaded." "Details... details!" "Never fear, Sayid, where there is a will, there is a way." " I can strangle her." " That's what I want." "But, I can't use hemp rope not on a royal throat." " Must I be crossed at every turn?" "But there's no objection to silk!" "A silk rope would fulfill all legal requirements... rely on me, Sayid." "They haven't seen each other for years." "That's enough, girls." "Scheherazade." "The Sultan's going to kill us!" " Who told you that?" " My mother." "She got it from the cook... who got it straight from the Chief Executioner's Assistant, it's a secret." "And her mother's never wrong." "I heard it from a handmaid who heard it from one of the guards." " He's going to marry one of us." "In the morning after the wedding he is going to have the bride executed." " He's mad, isn't he?" " And it won't stop there." "He'll get a taste for it and kill us all!" "I'm sure it's just a rumor." "Don't worry, I'll talk to my father." " Father, I must speak with you." " What are you doing here, child?" "Put some clothes on, Father, it's urgent." "I blame your late lamented mother, it's all her fault." "Please be quick, father... or they'll say you're meeting women in the steam room." "The women in the Harem are frightened that it won't stop at one girl... the Sultan may get a taste for killing them." "If Schahriar wasn't the Sultan he'd be locked away till the madness passed." "He was such a loving boy... we used to climb his father's favorite peach tree." "One day I fell and cut myself." "He bound up the wound." "Oh, what am I going to do, child?" "I can't go through with this." "I can't pick a poor girl from the Harem... knowing I'm condemning her to death!" "I may have a way out for you, father." "I'll marry Sultan Schahriar myself." "I won't let you sacrifice yourself for me." "I'm not doing it for you, father..." "I'm not even doing it to save the girls in the Harem..." "I'm doing it for Schahriar and myself." "I love him." "No, you love the boy he was, not the man he is." "That boy is still there in him." "You'd have to dig very, very deep to find him, he's changed completely!" "It's not just betrayal by his wife and brother... absolute power has eaten his soul." "I know him... you think you can change him, but you can't." "No one can." " I don't believe that." " Scheherazade, listen to me, listen!" "You are all I have." "I beg you." "I beg you!" "Don't do this!" "I can save him from himself..." "I don't know how... but I've made up my mind." "I know I can do it." "Daughter, when you walk out onto that balcony... you'll be married and you will have signed your own death certificate." "If you love me, please, please, please please, don't do this." " I know what I'm doing, father." "You don't." "You have no idea what you're doing." "Sayid, your brother, Schahzenan, wishes to offer his blessings." "May they choke him." "He wants to be reconciled... it would be good, Sayid, for peace." "Think of the people." "Show them you're brothers again." "Schahzenan, kill him!" "Kill him!" "Oh, my love." "Traitor!" "No, no." "I hope you have better luck this time, brother." "Your late wife loved me from the first." "How will we know when Sultan's ready?" "Be cool." "I think pink will suit the Sultaness." "You have such good taste, Chief." "Sayid, do you remember me?" "From when we were children." "We played together here in the palace, then I went away." "I don't remember anything about my childhood." "What's to remember?" "I was a child!" "Why should I?" "What is it, Sayid?" "I don't trust you." "There's something going on I don't know about." "Your Giafar's daughter, yet he let you... marry me." "Oh, I dream too much... forty nights... can't sleep... so I dream." "My father always takes a glass of wine and a biscuit... before going to bed." "This isn't a night when a man is supposed to sleep." "There." "Is something the matter?" "That biscuit has sesame seeds..." "I don't like sesame seeds..." " Did I say something funny?" " No." "It's just that "sesame" remind me of this wonderful story... would you like to hear it?" "I don't like stories." "You will this one." "It's about Ali Baba and the forty thieves." "Forty thieves?" "Forty nights of dreaming, and now Forty Thieves..." "That's strange!" "Yes, but no stranger than the story itself." "You see, Ali Baba was a poor young man who lived outside Damascus." "His best friend had a hump, four legs... and very big teeth." "Saffrow was one of the wisest camels in all Syria." "Ali Baba's only family was an older brother, Cassian." "I know Saffrow, I know." "Cassian!" "Wake up!" "It's time to get up." "Come on." "Unlike his young brother, Cassian was so lazy." "I told you I don't like stories." "A master storyteller once told me... the audience must be hooked in the first moments... otherwise you've lost them." "I'm lost." "That's because I haven't told you about Black..." "Black Coda." "At the time the Kingdom was being ravaged by savage gangs." "black Coda led the most murderous of them." "A monster." "Black..." "Coda." "No one was safe." "What's he got to do with Ali Baba?" "He made Ali Baba rich and famous." "No caravan could travel without fear." "They never Knew when or where black Coda would strike next." "He was a master of disguise." "Meanwhile, Ali Baba was collecting firewood to sell in the local market." "He was a really good-hearted young man." "It's a slow way to make a fortune, Abdul... and I've so many good ideas for making money... like my scheme for watering plum trees with alcohol to grow stewed plums." "I don't care what you think, Saffrow, I think it's a good idea." "You think that's trouble, do you, Saffrow?" "I think you're right." "Saffrow's warning saved Ali Baba." "Animals can be cleverer than their masters." "And you can trust them." "Open Sesame!" "Down!" "That must be Black Coda." "What do you think of that?" "Sesame... that's the seeds that Mother used to make those biscuits with, aren't they?" "Why would it be..." "Sesame?" "Open Sesame!" "Down, boys!" "Down." "Open Sesame!" "Saffrow!" "Saffrow!" "We're rich!" "Have you ever seen anything like it?" "Only in your wildest dreams!" "Well, not in your dreams, in mine." "It's raining." "Mother, bring in the washing." "No, it's not raining, your mother's been dead for five years." "Get up!" " What's for breakfast?" " Fresh air." "Why are you sleeping on the edge of the bed?" "So I can just drop off." "Well, get up..." "I've got something to show you." "We're going to have to move house... in case the robbers find out who was in their cave." "I want my share." "Of course." "I don't want it all for myself." " What half-and-half?" " Half-and-half." "I'm going to the cave to get my share." "No, it could be dangerous." "I can take care of myself." "If you must go, take Saffrow, she knows the way." "She'll see you don't get into any trouble." "Saffrow's a camel!" ""You don't think I need a camel to look after me, do you?"" "Both Ali Baba and Saffrow nodded." "There was no question in their minds... that Cassian certainly needed someone to look after him." "Why was Cassian any different from Ali Baba?" "Ali had something Cassian never had... a good heart." "You think a good heart can protect people?" "Have you ever known anyone with a good heart?" "No." "Well, anyway, with Saffrow's help..." "Cassian found the robber's cave." "Open!" "What is it?" "Open... open." "Ali Baba had given to Cassian two biscuits... to remind of the password." ""Open sesame!"" "Down boys!" "Down!" "I must get Saffrow." "Open... open!" "How was it, then?" "Open..." "Open..." "Open." "Open." "Open... open corn!" "Open barley!" "Open Sesame!" "Open Sesame... that was it." "Open Sesame..." "Meanwhile, whilst Cassian was getting himself Killed..." "Ali Baba had hired himself a young serving girl, Morgiana... to help him now he had money." "What was this Morgiana like?" "Some said she was beautiful." "But she was certainly clever..." "and very independent." "She sounds like you." "like me?" "Oh, no, she wasn't like me." "Not like me at all!" "That's everything, sir." "Saffrow... where's my brother?" "Where's Cassian?" "Oh, poor Cassian!" "I should have tried harder to stop him." "Don't blame yourself." "Come, we should leave as soon as possible." "No, we must take him with us." "Is that wise?" "When the robbers come back and see the body's gone... they'll know Cassian had friends or family... they might try and find you and do to you what they did to your brother." "I know you're right Morgiana, but he must have a decent burial." "We can't... we can't leave him for the vultures to pick on his bones." "He's my brother." "Cassian had a wonderful funeral." "It was the talk of the city for weeks after." "Cassian must have been very popular." "He had many friends." " I hope we gave complete satisfaction" " Very good job sir." "The "Damascus Mourners Association" has a reputation second to none." "Did you see how Mustaffa threw himself into the grave?" "You only get that with the "Damascus Mourners"." "We not only provide all the funeral arrangements," "But the weeping and gnashing of teeth too." "Remember us, if you have more deaths in the family." "Somebody else knows." "I made a mistake." "I have to correct it." "We had been robbed chief jewels and gold coins are missing." "What should we do?" "How much?" "Only a couple of sackfuls." "That means there was only two or three thieves at most." "We'll have to search for them in Damascus now." "But where do we look?" "They took the body for burial, so we find out" "Who's come into money recently and could afford a rich funeral." "That's very clever, Chief..." "I would never've thought of that." "No "nor mes."" "Spare me your "nor mes."" "We go into the city in ones and twos and in disguise," "Or they'll hang us on sight." "black Coda's men move through the city." "Robbers find nothing wrong in robbery... except when it happens to them." "I feel... sad." "But don't you like your new house?" "Of course I do." "I just wish Cassian were here to enjoy it with me..." "I miss him." "It's natural... he was your brother." "Everyone should have good fortune... but it just much better... if there's someone to enjoy it with." "Coda's men were hot on the trail." "They dug up Cassian's body to make sure they had the right man." "This belonged to the late Cassian, brother of Ali Baba," "Who has just come into money." "You know where this Ali Baba lives?" "An expensive villa on a hill overlooking the City Park." "That's a particularly desirable residence, with a view of..." "I don't want to buy it!" "I just want to kill him and everyone else in the house." "How many of us do you want for the job?" "All of us..." "we don't know how many we'll have to kill." "How're forty of us going to get past the guards?" "I know how..." "I want Ali Baba and his brood slaughtered by this time tomorrow night!" "And so the evil Black Coda walked up to the city gates... ready to slaughter Ali Baba and everyone in his house." "What's the matter?" "Nothing, Sayid." "What happened to Ali and Morgiana?" "What happened next... and did Black Coda kill them... and... don't you know?" "Of course I know, but I'm tired." "It's already morning." "It can't be morning, morning never comes for me, it's always night." "I've lost track of time." "So... you won't go on?" "Yes... but storytelling's best done at night... at least for me..." "I mean, it's hard to create the right atmosphere with the sun shining... don't you think?" "It's a trick!" "A trick to trick me!" "No!" "No!" " What is it, Sayid?" " I want you... to meet somebody!" "Who are these men?" "Friends, Sultaness." "Please, stay calm." "Stay back!" "Sayid!" "Sayid!" "Sayid!" "No." "No." " Please, stay calm." " Stay back!" "Sayid!" "Sayid, no..." "You will finish the story of Ali Baba tomorrow night!" "I sit in the bazaar, telling stories... but if the audience isn't interested in what I'm saying... it walks away." "But if your audience isn't interested... you're dead." "I thought it would be easy but it isn't." "I almost lost it before I got started." "I've told you before, the first moments are vital." "I paused at a good point... with the thieves sneaking into Damascus to kill Ali Baba." "Sneaking in how?" "In what?" " A wagon." " Too ordinary... it has to be something more exotic... your starting your story again... you have to hook your audience again." " How?" " I was walking last night past... the Great Mosque in the street of Sighs... exactly an hour after sundown... when I came face to face... with Death." "Had he come for you?" "See... you're hooked!" "He's still insane and he'll kill you..." "Now I've made arrangements for your escape." "It's too late... if I fled he'd punish you and then pick the poor girls in the Harem." "So you'll stay and risk your life." "I promised I'd help... if I can make him listen to my stories, maybe he'll change." "You don't sound as certain as you were." "I'm not." "As I was saying, Black Coda brought his whole gang into Damascus... in a wagon, to murder Ali Baba." "But it was no ordinary wagon." "The wagon was carrying an amount of stone jars." "How did Black Coda explain the jars?" "What's this, old man?" "Forty jars of lamp oil... for the royal palace." "Forty jars of oil... that's clever..." "that's very clever... obviously Black Coda had a black heart... but a very bright brain." "He had that, alright." "Naturally, Ali had no idea of the danger he was in." "He didn't tremble... when he should have trembled." "How're we going to protect him, Saffrow?" "He's a dreamer!" "What about all those schemes for making money?" "He needs someone to look after him." "Yeah..." "I love him... but does he love me?" "Your a camel, what do you know about love?" "I'm sorry... your a wise camel, aren't you?" "Turn to right to Ali Baba's house." "I thought you'd like some hot lemon and nutmeg, sir." "Thank you, Morgiana..." "I think it's time you started calling me Ali." "Salute this." "I'll stay up late tonight thinking of money-making schemes." "Why sir?" "Ali?" "Why think up such schemes?" "You're rich." "I know, but that was luck..." "I'm not going to stay lucky all my life." "I want to know I can survive if my luck turns." "I'll be back in two hours when it's quiet..." "then we'll kill everyone in the house." "It will be a pleasure, chief!" "There's a wagon parked in the street outside." "It's a merchant, lady, with jars of oil for the palace... he asked permission to leave his wagon there for a few hours." "Did you check him closely?" "Yes, lady." " How much did he give you?" " Nothing, lady, nothing!" " Isn't there any more oil in the house?" " We have to buy some tomorrow." "Didn't you say that merchant had some jars of oil?" "Yes." "He won't mind us talking a little for the night." "We'll pay him in the morning." "Life often turns on such small things... as a flickering oil lamp." "Praise be to Allah... it can't be long before the killing starts." "Morgiana, this man's got a marvelous idea... for breeding termites with wooden legs..." " I think I should invest..." " They've come, Ali!" "Who?" "The murderers you stole the money from." "I've got an idea... follow me." "Chief?" "Chief, is that you?" "Any moment now." "Hear that men?" "Any moment now!" "Excellent." "The Black Coda's men." "black Coda's men hung like ripe fruit." "It was all over." "Well." "Not quite." "Ali Baba threw a magnificent party... to celebrate the defeat of black Coda and his gang." "Nostradem!" "The chief attraction was the most famous entertainer in all of Islam." "Their jokes enthusiasm the town." "It day to celebrate... because with the help of my friend, Morgiana..." "Black Coda's gang have been crushed like... beetles." "Ask if Morgiana will dance for us, Ali Baba... she's a beautiful dancer!" "Morgiana." "I didn't know that, Morgiana." "I can't dance a step." "I'll show you." "Morgiana!" "That's not funny." "Not funny at all." "Morgiana, what have you done?" "They all kill!" "Women are born to hell!" "They kill without reason!" "She had her reasons." "I..." "I saw the tattoo when I offered him wine." "Oh, what would I do without you?" "What happened to Ali Baba and Morgiana?" "Ali Baba finally had one good idea," "He married Morgiana." "He wasn't clever but he was lucky." "I suppose, he needed someone like Morgiana's to make sure he most of it." "Something like that." "It could've been a man who befriended him." "Yes, but she proved to be a very good wife, Sayid." "I suppose it can happen, but not likely." "Just because you had a bad experience once..." "Bad?" "Bad!" "Do you know what she tried to do to me?" "And I loved her!" "Do you still love her?" "She rots down, deep down, deep down, six feet down!" "Death doesn't change it." "She tried to kill me." "It doesn't matter..." "if you love somebody enough, you can forgive them anything!" "Is that the end of the story?" "No, no, no." "Faisal and his wife, Safil... from Constantinople, were at Ali Baba's wedding." "Faisal had designed Morgiana's wedding dress." "He was one of the best tailors in the East... but both he and his wife always looked like they'd been stuffed... by a good taxidermist." "At the wedding... they met an extraordinary friend they hadn't seen for years." "Who?" "A hunchback." "His name was..." "BacBac." "Good name, BacBac." "BacBac liked it too... in fact, BacBac liked most things about himself... even his hump... without it, he may not have become the Sultan's favorite Jester." "I've always supported my family, they've never wanted for anything... apart from uncle Abdulah, he's wanted for bigamy and murder... in that order." "Anyway, back in Constantinople..." "Faisal invited BacBac to supper... and BacBac never turned down a free meal." "You know Prince Sinbad?" "Oh, he is so ugly even starvation won't look him in the face!" "I tell you, I tell you..." "no tide would take him out... when he eats a banana, he eats it sideways." "And his wife!" "Oh!" "Her face is all dried and wrinkled like a prune!" "She's the sort of woman you have to look at twice." "The first time, you don't believe it!" "At her wedding, everyone kissed the groom!" "BacBac?" " I think he's dead." " Dead?" "He can't be dead." "You're fooling us, aren't you, BacBac?" "Another one of your jokes!" "He must have suffocated." "Probably a bone, a fish bone got stuck in his throat." "Poor BacBac." "We must tell the authorities." "They'll blame us." " It was an accident!" " They'll still blame us... he was the Sultan's favorite..." ""There they go, the people whom killed poor little BacBac."" " We'll lose all our customers!" " Reputation shattered... credit destroyed, income lost." "What're we going to do?" "We could take him to that old physician next door." "It's too late for a physician, he needs an undertaker." "I mean leave him there..." "Let someone else take the blame... that sounds good!" "Calm!" "Come on!" "He is heavy!" " We'll leave him here." " Good." "Come on." "Who's that?" " Can I help you?" " We came to see Dr. Ezra... for our friend, if it's not too late." "It's never too late with Dr. Ezra." " You wanna bet?" " I'll get him... your friend doesn't look too good." "Let's go." "Come on, hurry." "Ezra, we have a customer." " Another penniless vagrant?" " No, he's paid... he's outside on the landing." "Show him to me, my dear, before he gets away!" "He's waiting on the stairs." "Be careful..." "I can't see where he..." "Ezra..." "Ezra, Ezra, speak to me!" "You must wear your glasses, Ezra... how do you feel?" " I don't know." " You don't know, you're a physician!" "So I'm a physician... so what else you want you should tell me?" "Sir... your friends said you don't feel very well." "I'm sure my husband can help you..." " No, he can't." " Of course you can." "No, I don't think so." "He's dead." " The fall down the stairs!" " A terrible accident!" "It's worse than that." "He comes here for medical treatment and he ends up dead!" "What will this do to your reputation, Ezra?" "He looks familiar." "The Sultan's Jester!" "Alas, poor BacBac." " I knew him well." " We're doomed!" "We'll be blamed..." "we're foreigners!" "Help me carry him upstairs..." "hurry!" "It's amazing how quickly people can improvise when they have to... the Ezra's had to take a gamble... forgetting that gambling is only a way of getting nothing... for something." "There's nothing worse than being alone in a strange city." "Lift his arms up, so he'll slide down easier." "It's as if he doesn't like what we're doing." "Nonsense!" "He'd see the funny side of it." "Oh, Buddha, show me a sign... say I'm not forsaken in a foreign land..." "Robbers!" "Thieves!" "My hands are lethal!" "Dead." "I told you about my hands!" "I know you... the famous BacBac..." "the Sultan's Jester..." "Why did you come down my chimney?" "It's a joke to set the whole town laughing... well, the laugh's on you, Jester BacBac... no, the laugh's on me... they'll say I murdered you..." "I'll be hanged..." "Think of something, Hi-Ching, think of something..." "Murder!" "I'm being attacked!" "You'll get no money from me!" "You'll get not a penny from me..." "Guards, guards, seize this man... he just tried to kill me!" " Instead, you killed him." " I..." "I did... splendid!" "You're drunk." " This is BacBac..." " Drunk?" "The Sultan's Jester." " BacBac?" " And you killed him." "Why should I kill him, we haven't even been introduced?" "That is for a judge to decide." "And when he has, we'll hang you!" "The trial of Jerome Gribbin was the social event of the season." "The judge in the case was the venerable Judge Zadic." "Judge Zadic was totally incompetent... but being a judge, nobody had noticed." "...which I suggest is death, death by hanging." "Why did you kill him?" "I thought he was trying to rob me." "BacBac rob you?" "Forty years administring justice... worst excuse I ever heard!" " I made a mistake." " You certainly did... all Constantinople will miss poor BacBac... we will never see the like of him again..." "A fellow of infinite jest..." ""infinite jest", that's a good one... write that down, clerk, before I forget it." "BacBac lightened our lives... he gave us laughter, rich and overflowing... laughter from the heart." "A heart as big as he was small... we knew him, we loved him... we laughed with him... we'll remember him all our days." "I sentence you to hang." "Assassin!" "No, no, please, no!" " No, no, please!" "No!" " Who is this Chinese person?" "I killed the poor hunchback." "I stuffed him in the alcove." "No!" "No!" "I killed poor BacBac, and dropped him down Hi-Ching's chimney." "No!" "I killed poor BacBac." " I don't understand..." " I killed him my hands are lethal!" " I tripped over him in the dark!" "He's very short-sighted." "You can't hang a man for that!" "It was a fishbone!" "I'm still the best tailor in Constantinople!" " My head's splitting..." " Order in the Court!" "Order!" "Order!" "I'll have a lamb shish-kebab!" "Your Majesty." "Who killed my funny man Jester BacBac?" "I did!" "Who do I hang, Sayiddi?" "Nobody." "It was an accident!" "Besides being my Jester, Master BacBac was my friend... and if I knew him right he would've appreciated... the manner of his death, it was his final jest... dear BacBac didn't have to be alive to be funny... even dead, he made us laugh!" "Is that the end of the story?" "Not quite..." "as they were walking away they saw..." "It's a different story!" "It's the best one yet, it's extraordinary..." " full of excitement and thrills and..." " Don't trick me again!" "Once you start I want to know how it ends!" "There's something..." "devilish in there." "I see..." "demons in them!" "Our Mullahs say, every good story has a moral." "What's the moral of Bacbac's death?" "Firouz, Dr. Ezra and the others learned to take Responsibility for their actions... we all should." "But if they had, Bacbac wouldn't have fulfilled his destiny to make people laugh, even when he was dead." "That's true, stories're less simple than we think they are... this new story for instance..." "No!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "What's the matter, Sayid?" "What can I do for you?" "I just missed killing you, and you ask if there's something you can do for me?" "I'm concerned for you." "Be concerned about yourself, Scheherazade." "I'm concerned about you, my love." "Why?" "I love you." "Why?" "You need me." "It's going badly..." "The Sultan's missed another chance... his brother wouldn't have." "Schehzenan... never hesitated, he was the Executioner's friend." "There're some who think the wrong brother is the Sultan." "You spoke before about meeting death." "I didn't meet him, I passed him on the Street of Sighs..." "I told a close friend what had happened, and he said he'd seen Death too in the street and Death had given him a terrible look... he was so frightened, he was leaving for Samara that night..." "I went to see death to find out what was going on..." "And?" "Another time, perhaps.. you must learn how to leave your audience in suspense..." "As the crowd were leaving the courtroom... the most famous magician in Africa, Mustappa... passed by on his way to SamarKand." "He was a charismatic man with piercing eyes a seductive voice... and a manner that would freeze friends at twenty paces." "But he came into a room the mice jumped on chairs... but he isn't the hero of this story." "Who is then?" "Eh..." "Sinbad..." "Aladdin." "No!" "Cheat." "It's all a cheat." "That race was fixed!" "No question..." "anyone could see that, Aladdin!" "Honest men like us go for a day at the races... and get cheated blind out of our hard earned money." " It just shows honesty doesn't pay." " Let's get back to work." "Sorry, excuse me." "My purse!" "I've been robbed!" " What's the matter, sir?" " That young rogue... the one who bumped into me picked my pocket!" "I saw which way he went." "This way follow me!" "Stop thief!" "Who's in the coach?" "Let's find out." "Who's that?" "Princess Zobeide, the Caliph's daughter." " Come on." "Let's get out of here." " I'm in love!" "Come on!" "There they are." "Where did you come from?" "From the other side of the world." "Africa." " What do you want with me?" " Stay calm, Aladdin... do I look like I'm with the Caliph's guards?" "I'm always calm." "How do you know my name?" " I was a friend of your late father." " I didn't know he had any friends." "Oh, very few... just me." "Your father was so crooked... he could hide in the shadow of a corkscrew." "You did know him!" " Do you want to become rich?" " Yes, but quick!" "It's the best way." "Business?" "Shady business?" "Shady... shifty... shadowy... but profitable." "What do I have to do?" "First of all, I have to check your suitability..." "Good." "Meet me tomorrow outside the city gates at dawn." "Here's a small token of my good faith." "That's the first thing I did, Mother." "It never hurts to get a second opinion." "They taste right." "He says he knew your father..." "did you believe him?" "No, I believed his money." "He must want something big from you, twenty gold coins is a mighty expensive introduction, he could have four men killed for that kind of money." "There's only nineteen coins here." "Are you accusing your poor old mother?" "I'm accusing you of palming a piece." "Did you see me?" "No, I know by the weight." "Oh, I thought my hands had lost their cunning!" "Your pick-pocketing hands I'll never do that Mother... you're still the best!" "You know how to flatter a body, you young rogue!" "Take care tomorrow morning, when you meet Mustappa!" "Trust me Mother." "That's what you're dear father used to say, but nobody ever did!" "And so Aladdin and Mustappa left SamarKand." "He didn't trust Mustappa, but when there was money involved..." "Aladdin was prepared to take a few risks..." "I don't want to boast, but I've never met anyone... who can live with me in a straight fight, magic to magic..." "So what do want me for if you're so powerful?" "All power has its limits..." "I want you to retrieve an object for me..." "I can't get it myself, for reasons too complicated to get into... its to do with the rules of magic... they're tiresome, but they must be obeyed." "Why pick me?" "You didn't believe I was a friend of your father's?" "Not for a moment..." "so, why me?" "I saw larceny in your soul." "What do you want me to do?" "I want you to go into a tomb..." "You'll find an old lamp there." "I want you to bring it to me." "What tomb?" " There." " How much?" " We'll discuss that when you get back." " No, we discuss it now, or I don't go." "Fifty gold pieces." "Please, don't insult me... and don't ask me to trust you." "I don't even trust my own shadow." "Two hundred!" "Done!" "Here's half." "You gave it to easily." "I should have asked for more." "You do so remind me of me when I was young!" "Here now take this ring... rub it if you get into any kind of trouble." "Trouble?" "What sort of trouble?" "Two hundred is not enough!" "A deal is a deal!" "Don't try and betray me... if you do, I swear by Hector's feathers... you'll never see your wedding day." "Who's Hector?" "My pet raven and my best friend." "Aladdin didn't Know what Kind of trouble he was getting into... if he had, he wouldn't have taken the two hundred... on the other hand, he probably would..." "Go on... go on!" "Aladdin, have you got the lamp?" "Hand it up to me... it'll be easier for you to get out." " It's no trouble, I can get up myself." " Pass it up to me... there's a good boy." "I'm not a good boy!" "Give it to me or you'll make me very angry." "I'm angry already!" "Do you think I'm gullible enough to fall for that old trick?" "You ride off with the lamp, without paying me what you owe me!" "It's an insult to my professional integrity." "You get your lamp when I get my gold!" " You think I'd ride off?" " Yes!" "You've got those shifty eyes!" "You cheap street scum!" "I resent the word "cheap"." "I was going to raise you up... now I cast you down!" "You want the lamp?" "Keep it, damn you!" "Damn you!" "Rot in darkness..." "Ingrate!" "Mustappa..." "Musatappa..." "Mustappa... why, why, why must you always lose your temper?" "Why?" "Now you lost the lamp!" "Plenty more wonders in the world for me to steal..." "Let's go home." "This was a crisis." "And in a crisis, there's nothing more effective than magic..." "Who're you?" "Omar Khayyan!" "I'm the Genie of the Ring, who else?" "Look..." "Stamp of authenticity!" "But before I answer anymore questions... what color was my smoke?" "Was it blue?" "If it was blue, it means that I am melancholy and sanguine." "That means that I need more "me" time." "What do you want." "I have enemies, I have a migraine..." "What do you think I want..." "I want out!" "I always about you, never about me." "Get me out of here, take me home... put me out, I'm on fire." "Allah!" "Allah!" "We're going to die!" "I don't want to die!" "Come on, pull yourself together!" "Please spare me, I'm only seven hundred and nineteen years old!" "I was going to repent, I was going on a diet, oh, please..." "Get us out of here!" "Have you ever heard of the magic word please?" "Because I work for you doesn't mean you... can treat me like some sort of manslave or a eunuch or less than that!" "Are we understood?" "The light!" "The light!" "I cannot see!" "I am blind!" "It's too bright!" "My body is aching!" "I shall go home." "Salaam." "I don't understand." "Why would Mustappa pick the best rogue in all Samarkand... to get this piece of junk?" " It's demeaning!" " It must be worth something... or he wouldn't have gone to all the trouble." "You're right, son." "Maybe it's a priceless antique." "Don't just stand there like a leaning tower of jelly!" " Talk to him!" " Why me?" "I'm just a poor, weak widow-woman!" "It's your lamp!" "Good evening." " Friend?" " Speak up... insignificant mortal lowly one!" " Who are you?" " Who am I?" "Who am I?" "Have you not heard of me?" "I am the Lamp Genie!" "The Lamp Genie!" "Wishes, avarice, dreams, power... premature and violent death..." "Well, scratch the last one." "You're like the Genie of the Ring?" "Like the Genie of the Ring?" "I who oppose the will of Heaven?" "Never!" "His powers are as nothing... as compared to mine!" " Are you two related?" " No." "Well, maybe." "I don't know." "The tests were inconclusive." " What can you do?" " What can I do?" "What can I do?" "I don't know." "How about anything... for starters?" "And that was the beginning of it." "Aladdin, a rogue, a son of a rogue, from a family of rogues... found he could have everything he ever wanted." "All he had to do was ask." "So?" "So?" "So what did he ask for?" " We can save that for tomorrow night." " I want to know now!" "Not tomorrow night!" "It's your fault!" "You made the story so gripping with your wit and your charm and... and your beauty." "What's my beauty got to do with story-telling?" "Because I lose interest for a moment, I see your face and I can't leave." "Please tell me what happened to Aladdin." " Sayid... tomorrow night." " I order you!" "It wouldn't be the same story if I was ordered to tell it." " It's all tricks!" " Remember what happened... to Mustappa when he lost his temper." " He lost his wonderful lamp." " Tell me!" "Tomorrow night!" "Chief, now!" "Just wait till tomorrow night." "Tomorrow night." "Tomorrow night." "What news?" "There's a man to see you from Baghdad." "Chief Execution... what brings you here?" "Sayid, in his sickness, your brother, the Sultan, planned to kill his bride after the wedding." "You see, he's mad!" "But he can't go through with it..." "the Sultana is still alive." "Better, he's weak... the people will follow a madman but never a weakling!" "I'm not here to betray the Sultan, but to protect my own interests." "The Sultan's too soft for killing... which leaves me out of work... on the other hand I never saw you shrink from using rope, axe or knife... so, if you should change places with the Sultan..." "Never fear, there'll be much for you to do when I win." "The streets of Baghdad will be lined with nooses... there'll be gallows on every corner." "It'll be a golden time, I promise." "Thank you, Sayid." "Thank you." "Prepare to march on Baghdad." "We will be revenged, my love..." " But he wasn't laughing, was he?" " No that's right." "He wasn't." "I let you live so you could finish the story of Aladdin... you should at least get it right." "Now... there was a storm, wasn't there?" "Yes, there was..." "You were saying?" "I am your humble and obedient servant." "What?" "I didn't get that!" "Oh, nothing, just a mere technicality... the fine print on my contract, so to speak." " You have to obey me, don't you?" " I, obey you?" "I should cast you into a sea of torment..." "I should have you trampled in... yes, you can have anything you ever wanted." "How about stopping the rain?" "I'm sure there must be another... wish I can grant your exalted Lord and Master Aladdin..." "I'm in love with the Princess Zobeide the Caliph's daughter..." " Love?" "I don't know her, but I've seen her across a crowded street..." "It's usually across a crowded room, as strange as that may seem." " I want her!" " I can give you things, Master Aladdin... but when it comes to the human heart, I am powerless." "You can have anything in the world... you want and all you can think of asking for... is for some young chit of a girl who isn't good enough for you!" " Genie, you can give us things?" " You've got it in one, Mother." "Not so much of the "Mother"." "I'm young enough to be your granddaughter." " Things, like money..." " I've never heard that request before." "You would be the first to ever ask for that." "Bushels and bushels of money!" "With money, you don't need magic!" "Are you sure that's the way you want to go?" "I mean, money is great and all, but everybody asks for money." "Why not ask for something new and exciting?" "Okay, how about some sort of flying machine?" "What?" "A flying machine?" "So you could fly all over the world?" "You could have drinks... and someone could serve us peanuts!" "A flying machine!" "Maybe we should just stick with the money." "Original Subtitle by yeganehaym  essamshark Edited and Resynched By Kijang Loncat" "Make way for the lovely Princess Seleh Alcouz of Souman..." "Aladdin's mother put on an extraordinarily... vulgar display of wealth... but as usual, it worked." "We have more petitions, Your Majesty, they're important." "Your son Gulnare doesn't think so." "Wake up." "Your exalted majesty, His Highness Aladdin Ebn Alcouz... and his mother, the Princess Seleh Souman..." "These aren't on my list... they shouldn't be here." "I don't know anything about them, your Majesty." "That must be very disturbing for you, Assad." "How did you get past my guards and into the Court?" " We had introductions." " What introductions?" "Irresistible introductions." "Indeed, these are introductions no courtier could resist." "My Mother and I have brought them from Zourman." "They meet with your approval, Majesty?" " Flawless!" " They're yours, Sir." "This is a most generous gesture, Prince." "You will always be most welcome here at Court." "And if we can make your stay more pleasant..." "My son is too shy to ask... but we've heard of the beauty of your daughter the Princess Zobeide... my son, the Prince Aladdin, would formerly like to ask for her hand in marriage." " This is outrageous!" "Two strangers from Zourman asking to marry the daughter... of the great Caliph Beder!" "We wouldn't come empty handed." "Two million gold pieces!" "The Caliph doesn't need your vulgar gifts!" "I wouldn't say two million was ever "vulgar", Assad." " As a start..." " Your Majesty my son, your daughter..." " Oh, yes, yes." "I'm sorry you came a little late." "The Grand vizier's son Gulnare... is pledged to my daughter." "Indeed, they're to be wed in three days." " Father." " We were just talking of you, my dear." "This is Prince Aladdin of Zourman." " He asked for your hand in marriage." " Too late, I fear." "Haven't I seen you somewhere, Prince?" "I've been "somewhere" but I would've remembered you, Princess." "I have a marriage gift for Your Highness..." "You're too generous, Prince Aladdin." " Yes, I'd say that too!" " He has a generous heart!" "You may wish to withdraw these magnificent gifts now..." "No, no, no, they're yours, Sir." "How do I stop that idiot Gulnare from marrying the Princess?" "Let's turn him into a pig... or better yet, a roast pig." "It's tempting, but it's just not me." "What about an accident?" " Too crude." " Then, before you do anything..." "Master Aladdin..." "I suggest you find out if the Princess." "Zobeide whatever her name is... has feelings for you." "She might be in love with that eunuch Gulnare." "Women often love men who are unworthy of them." "The reverse is also true." "Men often love women unworthy of them why?" " Love has nothing to do with worth." "Love is a madness... prince or beggar, we have no control." "Was it the Genie who said "Women often love men unworthy... of them"...or was it you?" "No, it was the Genie." "What is it, Giafar?" "This is too early for affairs of state." "You put me in a bad mood." "My news will only make it worse." "Your brother is raising an army against you." "He's finally come into the open." "How big, how big?" "Big enough." "Schahzenan!" "Kill him!" "Kill him!" "Traitors!" "Guards!" "Guards!" "You're right about women loving men unworthy of them." "Perhaps she loves Gulnare and not me... but there's still time to find out." "They don't marry until next week." "Wrong!" "Gulnare and the Princess're being married tomorrow!" "Where did you come from little fellow?" "He's a darling." "Come here, little fellow." "I'm getting married tomorrow..." "to the Grand vizier's son, Gulnare." "It's all signed, sealed and delivered... you wouldn't understand, affairs of state." "But I did meet a charming young man, he... there's no point in thinking about him, is there... only..." "The saddest words in any language..." ""if only"..." "What did you learn, Master Aladdin?" "She doesn't love Gulnare." "She loves me!" "You always were a terrible young monkey." "I was just telling Mother about..." "The Princess and Gulnare were married... an hour ago, in secret." " No!" " The Grand vizier won't let... a little thing like magic monkeys stop him making his son heir to the throne." "Of course he won't!" "Look at her... clever... beautiful... wealthy... flexible..." "Have they consummated the marriage yet?" "Not yet, but any moment now." "I hear he's quite the acrobat in the sexual arena." "If Gulnare had his life to live again, he'd still fall in love with himself." "What has to be, cannot be changed." "I'll think of something pleasant..." "like that young prince from Zourman." "My dove...it's me...your husband..." "Who else..." "I'm here!" "My love, why you look as beautiful as... as beautiful as..." "That's okay." "I'll guess the rest." "Gulnare?" "Gulnare?" "Where are you?" "It's an insult to my daughter, and worse, to me!" "You stink!" "So would you, Sir, if you'd spent all night in a privy." "He prefers a stinking privy to a beautiful young woman..." "I tell you there's something seriously wrong with this boy, Assad!" "The marriage is annulled!" "Get out!" "Three million in gold is most generous..." "Prince Ala for my daughter's hand in marriage." " I love her, Your Majesty." " Good, that always helps." "But I can't sanction this marriage unless I know my daughter... is going to live in the style to which she is accustomed... and you haven't even got a palace." "I'm building one." "You can marry her when I see it with my own eyes." "It'll be ready in a week's time." "You don't know builders, my boy." "My own palace took over a year to build." " Mine will take a week!" " A week?" "I like you, Master Aladdin... believe it or not, I've had some two hundred odd Masters in my time... and you're the noblest of them all... but remember, I still have Solomon's curse in my face... and I will betray you at the drop of a turban, if it suits me." " Of course... no hard feelings." " No hard feelings..." " I have to survive." " Don't we all?" "Perhaps..." "Palace!" "YEEEEEEESSS" "Well, mortals, where are my compliments, please?" "Magnificent!" "It is my best work since the Taj Mahal!" "Let's go and feed the sturgeon!" "Yes, much better!" "This was perhaps the happiest day of Aladdin's life." "He should have been a bit more pessimistic... he always said a pessimist is someone who really Knows what's going on..." "Mustafa, you're working too hard!" "Too hard!" "You're right, Hector." "But there's so much to learn..." "I'm naked." "Naked!" "What's going on, Chief?" " I once swore by Hector's feathers." " I want them back!" "Tell me harp, is that rogue Aladdin dead in the cave?" "No, he is not dead On this very day" "He is to be wed Losing your temper" "Mustafa, didn't pay" " Who's he marrying?" " The fairest flower in the land" "He must be very smart and plucky" "To wed the Princess of SamarKand He finally got very lucky" "No, he finally got the lamp!" "New lamps for old!" "New oil lamps for old oil lamps!" "That's right, I'm exchanging new lamps for old lamps!" "Come and see for yourself!" "New lamps for old..." "It's too early." "That ring...is beautiful!" "It's yours!" "You're so generous, my love." "Have you always been rich?" "Always, always." "My father was rich, and his father before him... our title is one of the most ancient in Zouman." "Well, it suits you." "You're everything a prince should be, but never is...you're handsome, you're gallant, you're generous... but your mother..." "My mother's what they call an eccentric..." "after all, she can afford to be." "No, I love her for it...she's different..." "like a breath of fresh air..." "I've never known anyone like her." "And I've never known anyone like you!" "They were in love and only had eyes for each other... so they didn't see what was going on around them." "Why are you giving new oil lamps for old?" "There's a catch, huh?" "No, no catch, no catch...just the bargain of the year." "You see, where I come from, we prize old and ancient things." "Hey, can I trade in my wife for a new one?" "No, my friend, only oil lamps this trip, eh?" "New lamps for old!" "Didn't Aladdin sense something was wrong?" "He must've sensed some danger?" "Normally he would've done... but he was in love." "And that changes everything?" "Yes, men and women act out of character." "You, for example?" "Oh, yes, my father thought I'd never get married... he said when two people marry, each of them has to make sacrifices, and I was too strong-willed for that... but I've changed." "That must be love." "Tell me about Aladdin." "New lamps for old!" "I'm giving away new oil lamps for old!" " A once-in-a-lifetime offer!" " Did you say new lamps for old?" "It's a bargain!" "Everyone loves a bargain." "Here we are, thank you!" "Everyone loves a bargain..." " What happened?" " What happened?" " Where's the lamp?" " Gone." "Vanished." "Mustafa!" "Now my Princess will find out I'm not a Prince." "Worse, what if the Caliph finds all the money... we have given him has turned to dust?" " Time to run, my son." " No one runs in our family!" "Where did you hear that rubbish?" "Taste my dust!" "What's going on?" "Where is everyone?" " Where's the palace?" " Gone... like the snows of yesteryear!" "It was all a fake... there's no palace, no riches... and this your husband is no prince... he's a thief from a family of thieves!" " It's a lie!" "Tell him, Aladdin!" " Well, it's a bad way of putting it." " Don't be ashamed, son!" "We are proud of our heritage, daughter." "Our family are aristocrats, too... descended from the finest rogues in all Asia!" "That's for telling me you were a prince!" "It's Mustafa!" "Don't believe everything he says!" "He's go no reason to lie..." "you do!" "Hey, smart boy!" "You're in trouble, oh..." "Where did the palace come from?" "And the money?" "Magic!" "Ingrate!" "Genie, Genie... how could you possibly team up with this African squelch." "I couldn't warm to him if we were cremated together!" "Shut up!" "Mother!" "What do you want?" "What do you want?" "I just got off my sick bed to come here." "What this?" "Pretty slave girl." "Allah!" "What in the name of evil are you doing here?" " And you?" " You two know each other?" "Yes, yes unfortunately." "We're distant, distant cousins on my father's side." " I've hated you for centuries!" "Yes, that's right, you lying, bullying dog!" " You turn my stomach!" " It would take the whole..." "Persian Army to turn your stomach... you pimple!" "You grease spot on the backside of a camel!" "I've waited for you for so long." "You wouldn't hit a fellow wearing, whatever these are, would you?" " Hold still while I think about it." " Okay, well then, bye!" "No, no, no, no, my Genie will challenge your Genie winner takes all!" " This sounds interesting..." "No, no!" "He's feverish, he's babbling on..." " Done!" " Done?" "You do not understand, I cannot fight him... his magic is stronger than mine." "Shows you how unfair the Genie world is, doesn't it?" "Toothache!" "I have a toothache, I can't fight." "No, let's do this right... we must have the proper setting." "Toothache." "No!" "No, no, no, no, I'm not in good shape." "I've never been in good shape... as a matter of fact I'm in the worst shape now than I have ever been." " This is not good for me." " You can do it, Master Genie!" "You're our man!" "Okay, I'm ready, Allah, exalted parent, creator of all... granter of wishes, you are my sufficiency... pray for me in this moment." "Help me!" "Help me!" "Thank you." "No!" "Here!" "Here!" "Don't send me out there again, I'm no match for him, please!" "You're a pro." "Get in there and fight!" "Aladdin, did you love me, or was that another lie?" " Not now my love..." " Do you love me?" " Did you?" " Always!" "You heard him, get in there and fight!" "Oh, no!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "No!" " No!" "Don't!" " Cheese!" "Let me out of here!" "Let me out of here!" "Let me out of here!" "I win!" "Get your chattel..." "Out!" "Out!" "out!" "Out!" "Out!" "Out!" "Out!" "Mercy for my wife and my mother," "No!" "Winner take all!" "But Mustafa had already lost and didn't know it." "He couldn't beat a man like Aladdin when it came to stealing." "He was a master." "You cheat!" "Next time I will show no mercy, I will kill you." " I will squash you, like a bug..." " This time... he had stolen Mustafa's victory." "So Aladdin had won." "He had picked his last pocket." "Something I'd expect from a rogue." "He gets it from his mother!" "He gave the Ring Genie his freedom." "He didn't need to be told twice." "Sayonara!" "Bye bye!" " The Genie of the Lamp..." " My freedom?" "...refused the gift." "What would I do with that?" "I would have to get a job, a fat wife and lazy children... no thank you!" "I've got power here, I've got total control..." "I'll decide when I want to be free..." "He was always contrary, it was.. part of his character." "Would Aladdin really offer the Genies their freedom and give up all that power?" " Power isn't that important." " What is?" "Happiness." "That's something poor Amin Adbur didn't have." "In fact he had nothing." "No peace, no comfort no happiness." " Who is Amin Adbur?" "A young beggar in Cairo." "You're starting another story." "I was going to tell you about Amin... because I thought you'd be particularly interested." "Why?" "Because he looked exactly like you..." "Like me?" "But the extraordinary thing about this story... is that the other leading figure in it is Sultan Abraschild... and Abraschild looked exactly like your brother, Schahzenan." "Like my brother?" "So I'm the beggar in this story..." "and my brother is the Sultan of Cairo?" "But you'll want to save that for tomorrow night." "...Some years ago, never mind how long just remember that all..." "There's a competition tomorrow, sponsored by the Baghdad Story-Teller's Association..." "I'm President." "You should enter it, Your Highness." "We're only competing for money... you've been competing for your life!" "I've told him an adventure story, a comedy, a fantasy, and now I want to tell something tragic..." "I hooked his interest by saying the main characters resemble him and his brother, but where do I begin?" "You begin at the beginning and go on to the end, and then stop... just make sure he doesn't know what will happen next." "I don't know what happens next, so I'm sure he won't, but should I go on?" "His brother Schahzenan is marching against him..." " is this the time for storytelling?" " It's the perfect time!" "Stories show us how to win... and in your case, defeat... death." "Sayid, your brother's army is only two days away." "What are you going to do, Sayid?" "Wait." "You need strong nerves to wait." "Well I've been taught what strong nerves really are." "Amin the beggar still had a few coins left, and headed straight for the nearest tavern." "Meanwhile, Sultan Abraschild prowled the streets of Cairo in disguise," "Looking for adventure." "Abraschild was accompanied by Commander Nouz, and his Grand Vizier Moussel who looked just like my father." "Being Sultan is the most boring job in the world, Moussel." "Is that why Sayiddi has to disguise himself and rub shoulders with his subjects?" " I find it amusing." " As Commander of your Guard..." "Sayiddi." "I have to say it's a very dangerous enjoyment." "That adds spice to the joke!" "When I mingle with the ordinary folk..." "I'm laughing inside." "If only they knew who I was!" "What tricks, what jests I can play on the poor fools... here's entertainment to please the most jaded palette!" "Let's go in here and see what jollies I can conjure up." "I'll do the same for you, friend, when my ship comes in." "What ship is that, friend?" "That's my ship." "That's my destiny." "I have a destiny, that's why I drink." "I drink while I'm waiting for my destiny." " Which is?" " Oh, I don't know, but it'll be great!" "If you could choose your destiny, what destiny would you choose?" "Oh.." "I'd choose to be.." "Sultan." "But look at you!" "Do you think you're fit to be Sultan?" "What do you mean "look at me"?" "What's fitness to do with it anyway?" "Sultan Abraschild was born he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth... everyone else had a tongue... he's about as useful as a glass eye at a keyhole!" " That's what you think of him, is it?" " Friend, if only I was the Sultan... if only I was the Sultan, you'd see, yeah..." "Perhaps it's your destiny after all..." "Are you all right, Sayid?" "Never better." "The jest, the jest!" "Come on, take him to my palace!" " But, Sayid..." " Oh, Moussel, you dry stick... you desert cactus!" "Quick, I can't wait to start the game!" "It was a sick joke." "He was washed and perfumed, so that even his mother wouldn't have recognized him." "Everyone remembers what to do when he wakes?" " Yes, Sayid, but..." " No one spoils my fun." "No one!" "I want wine." "No, I don't." "This is the drink." "I've had daylight dreams before, but..." "Go!" "Go!" " Where, where am I?" " In the palace, Sayid." " What palace?" " Your palace." "My palace?" "Who am I?" "Commander of the Faithful, Monarch of the World... the Prophet's voice on Earth." "You are the Sultan Haroun Abraschild." "This is madness." "I want to talk to someone in authority." "You were up drinking late last night, Sayid." "It has affected your memory." "I do drink." "And I do have a terrible head." " Your Majesty." " Who am I?" "You're Commander of the Faithful, Monarch of the World..." "No, I'm not!" "I'm Amin the Beggar!" "Is this another one of Sayiddi's jokes?" "No, I'm Amin." "Amin the Drunkard." "They know me in every tavern in Cairo!" "I'm you Grand vizier, Moussel." "Don't you recognize me?" "Yeah." "I've seen you riding through the streets." "And I'm Abu Nouz, Commander of the Palace Guard for the last ten years." "Why would you say I'm Sultan Abraschild?" " Because you are." " But I'm not!" "Have you ever seen His Majesty, Sultan Abraschild?" " No." " So how do you know you're not him?" "'Cause I'm me..." "I know me, don't I?" "It's the wine, Sayid." "It's clouding your brain." "Through the lingering alcoholic fumes in his wine-stained brain," "Amin was already half-inclined to agree with Vizier Moussel and the others." "The whole Palace went along with the Sultan's cruel jest." "They had to...it was more than their lives were worth to object." "Pray silence for His Majesty, Sultan Haroun Abraschild, Commander of the Faithful," "Monarch of the World, the Prophet's Voice on Earth..." "I'm not any of those things... not Commander, I'm not Monarch, I'm not the Prophet's Voice, and I'm not Sultan Haroun Abraschild!" "It is one of Sayiddi's jokes?" "No." "I'm just a drunk from the backstreets of Cairo." "Then why would the whole Court say that you were Sultan?" "Look at yourself, Sayiddi..." "that's not the face of a drunkard... that is the face of a king!" "The only thing Amin thought about for years was where the next drink was coming from... but everything had changed..." "he was a different man." "Then there is the matter of the Chinese Ambassador... we have already decided to resume negotiations with the Great Khan..." "Ah, you say I'm Sultan?" "Of course you are, Sayiddi." "And I have absolute power?" "By Divine Right." "Then instead of talking about the Great Khan, we should be talking about my people." "Their needs." "Their happiness..." "Scribe:" "I, Sultan Abraschild, institute the building of new schools in each of the major cities." " But, Sayid... we must consult and ponder this matter." "If I consult and ponder, I'll do nothing." "Scribe another degree." "We will reduce the people's taxes..." "by half!" " But, Sayid, the Treasury..." " Can afford it." "Now, Commander, do you believe the Army is underpaid?" "Undoubtedly." "I have submitted reports indicating we can't expect troops... to defend the nation if they're poorly paid." "I accept all your recommendations, Commander... and we'll start by doubling the pay of all the troops." "How will we finance this, Sayiddi?" "Cut out all the waste and extravagance... particularly here in the Palace." "Now vizier, I've read your reports too." "The state bureaucracy needs a radical overhaul." "Now, I propose to put you ideas into practice immediately." "What a fool!" "We've got more done today than we have in years." "This time Sultan Abraschild wasn't laughing." "Amin the Beggar was taking his role very seriously... feed a grub royal jelly... and he will turn into an Emperor butterfly in an instant." "Sultan Abraschild now wanted to complete the joke." "What a jest, eh?" "I doubt he'll enjoy it, when he wakes." "I enjoyed it, that's what is important." "Besides, he's had a day of power." "That's more than most get in a lifetime." "What will you do with him now, Sayid?" "Throw him back." "That's the best part of the joke!" "It was a rude awakening... it was terrible." "From extreme wealth, to extreme poverty." "That's enough to send any man mad." "Oh, no... no... this is a dream... this is a dream." "I'm the Sultan." "I'm the Sultan." "I'm the Sultan." "I'm the Sultan." "I'm the Sultan." "I give orders." "I give orders." "I give orders." "I give orders." "It's the demons." "It's the demons." "It's the demons." "It's the demons." "Only a madman could think he was ruler of the world." "But it was so real to me." "So real." "But it all grew less and less real as the days past." "Soon Amin began to doubt if it had ever happened." "But fate and Sultan Abraschild hadn't finished playing with him yet." "You should eat." "I'm not hungry." "Stay and talk" "Stay and talk." "No one will talk to me... they think I'm mad." "Are you?" "I was." "I thought I was Sultan Abraschild..." "I dreamed of being the Sultan for so long... it became real for me." "Were you better than Sultan Abraschild?" "Only in my dreams." "Thank you, friend, thank you... thank you, thank you." "Laughter's the cure for all our ills." "He thinks he's cured." "Now you've found out what happened to him, he can be left alone, Sayiddi?" "He thought he did a pretty good job as a one-day Sultan..." "I think I'll give him another crack at it." "You're going to repeat the jest?" "A good jest is worth repeating." "But Sayid, it could send him mad for the rest of his life." "You two have no sense of humour." "Compliments of the Sultan himself." "It's his birthday... every prisoner is given a free cup of wine to celebrate the occasion." "Long live Sultan Abraschild!" "And so Amin's torture continued..." "It was a terrible nightmare... which was happening again." "I'm mad again!" "Save me!" " What is it, Sayiddi?" " I'm Amin." "This is a prison cell..." "I'm mad!" "Calm yourself, Sayid." "You had another bad dream!" "But which is the dream and which is real?" "Is this the dream or was that the dream?" "We'll send for the Royal Physicians." "It's the demons!" "They carried me here..." "they're in the air..." "Demons!" "Demons!" "Listen, listen, it's the demons, they're laughing at me!" " Death to all demons!" " No!" "No!" "Death!" "Perhaps he should have remembered... never tell the same joke twice..." "Dead!" "Well, there's one good thing..." "no more jokes." "And he died with a smile on his face..." "What do we do now?" "Who's his heir?" "He has none." "There'll be a fight amongst the nobles, it'll mean civil war..." " unless... we act." " In what way?" "Well, Sultan Abraschild ordered us to treat Master Amin as Sultan." "Yes, but he meant he was to be Sultan for a day." "We know that, but others don't." "Well, if he keeps cutting taxes, he has nothing to fear from anyone." "We'll say Sultan Abraschild has gone on a holy pilgrimage to Mecca... and asked his friend to take his place." "Well, it's true, in a way." "True or false, it's plausible, that's the important thing." "Your physicians will see you later, Majesty." " You've been ill." " I have?" "Who's that?" "That, oh that was the Royal Jester." "What's the matter with him?" "His last joke was a killer!" "What's so funny?" "He always said we had no sense of humour!" "Amin became one of the most beloved Sultans in history... and Abraschild was completely forgotten." "I saw myself as Sultan Abraschild... he was consumed by laughter..." "I was consumed by fear of betrayal, and I was prepared to do anything to feed... that fear while Abraschild fed his cruel humour." "That wasn't you... that was the darkness inside you." "Is it still there?" "Look into my eyes..." "who do you see, Scheherazade?" "Me..." "looking at you, my love." "Sayid, your brother's army is camped outside the city." "Soon, my love." "It's too low." "I'm hot." "One of my stories will help." "No, the only danger you face now is from my brother... you won't be able to tell him one of your tales to save yourself... he'll have cut your throat." "This isn't the time, Scheherazade." "It's the perfect time." "It's the incredible story of three brothers... who fought each other like you and Schahzenan." "It happened long ago in far Yemen..." "before recorded time." "and he had three sons..." "Princes Ahmed, Hussain and Ali." "Prince Hussain was the best swordsman in Yemen." "Ahmed, on the other hand, was a master bowman." "Prince Ali had extraordinary strength in his hands." "Oh, they're at it again!" "It's just youthful exuberance, my love, they'll grow out of it." "You've been saying that for the last ten years..." "Look!" "No my prize hibiscus!" "Not the palms!" "Not the palms!" "You vandals!" "Vandals!" "Go back, you sissy." "What was the fight about this time?" " Princess Fatima loves me." " No, she loves me." "No, she loves me." "She said so!" "Rubbish!" "You could lose ten pounds of surplus fat if someone would just cut your head off!" " Everytime you look into the mirror you take a bow!" " Oh yeah!" "What's going to happen when I die?" "You'll tear the country apart!" "See what you boys've done..." "all this talk of dying... your making your father ill." "We didn't mean anything, Mother..." "Father's not really dying, is he?" "But when I am dying, I will have to name my heir." "You should do it now, Father." "Don't forget, I'm the eldest." "And don't you forget that I have the final say, according to law." "Who do you favor, Father?" "I have three blockheads for sons, how can I favor anyone?" "Let it be proclaimed throughout, Yemen..." "I'm sending my sons on a quest... whoever brings back the greatest wonder in the world... will be my heir." "How long have we got?" "One year." "You must all leave together and return together." "Wrap up warm, boys." "And don't get lost." "Yes, Mother." "And so the brothers went forth into the unknown... to find the greatest wonder in the world." "We should meet back here on the same day next year, and travel home together." "And may the best man win!" " What are you smiling at?" " Well, I'm obviously the best man." "The only thing you're best at is shovelling camel dung." "They had no maps to guide them... they were going to countries where traveller's said..." ""There be dragons!"" "Losers!" "Ali found himself in a fabled land... the Bronze City of Zirog." "It's all gone now... the bronze rusted and the fountains dried up... but then...return together but then..." "it was a wonder to behold." "So, my brothers and I are searching the world... for wonderous objects for my father." "I have something wonderous." "I have seen a telescope before, Master Schaca." "Not like this." "Put it to your eye... you only have to ask, and you'll see anything you wish to see." "I'd like to see of Princess Fatima of Yemen." "That's her!" "That's Fatima!" "You're right, Master Schaca, it's a wonder." "Can I buy it?" "It's not mine to sell." "I'm delivering it to Hari ben Karim." "But would he sell it?" "Ask him." "The telescope's not for sale." "As you can see" "I have no need of the money but" "I might give it to you as a gift." "And what could I give you in return?" "Entertainment." "Schaca tells me you're a master fighter." "Would you fight my champions for the telescope?" "Gladly." "The telescope's mine." "I've killed your champions." "What makes you think they're dead?" "This time, knives." "Knives?" "That's cheating." "That's cheating..." "Fair game, Master Schaca." "As Ali made his way back to "The Traveller's Rest" with his magical telescope," "Ahmed was heading North..." "I am Prince Ahmed of Yemen." "I've learned you have a rare fruit... a holy green apple that is said to cure all illnesses..." "I'd like to buy it." "It is not for sale." "Is there something I can give you... in exchange for it?" "Perhaps..." "you have a special skill?" "With the bow." "Then you will undergo a test... to see if you are fit to own the apple of life." "I'm impressed, Ahmed." "I have one more test..." "and the apple of life is yours." "It's a risk." " The prize is worth it." " Not for the boy." " Then you lose, and go away empty-handed." "I lose." "No, you win." "What?" "You win by losing." "You weren't prepared to win at any cost." "The apple of life is yours." "The Holy Seer gave Ahmed the apple and some words of advice... before he left." "Hussain was riding towards the fabulous city of Petra." "That Petra disappeared under the sand, but then, she was the jewel of the East." "Hussain discovered the most amazing thing about Petra." "It was two cities.. not one." "The second city lay under the first." "Underground Petra survived many years after the other one... but that too, is gone..." "swallowed by the sand." "Is this the only carpet you have to sell?" "Fifty pieces of gold." "You must be mad!" "Have you gold enough to pay for it?" " If I want it." " You'll want it." "Follow me." "Why're you out there trying to sell this one old carpet... when you've got hundreds like these?" "Because it's a Flying Carpet... it can take you anywhere." "I may be a stranger in Petra, but I'm no child." "There is no such thing as a Flying Carpet." "But there are thousands, and this.." "this is one of them." "Rise, carpet, Rise!" "Down!" "Down!" "Come to rest!" "All you have to do is tell it where you wish to go." "Fifty in gold you say?" "It's worth every penny." "I'll pay cash." " What's this?" " We're going to rob and kill you." "It's nothing personal..." "I can't sell a magic carpet for a paltry fifty in gold... it wouldn't be good for business." "Kill him!" "Stop thief!" "Come on!" "Take me..." "to the "Traveller's Rest"!" "We've done well... a magic apple, a flying carpet, and a wonderous telescope." "Tell me, have you actually tested this yet, Ali?" "Of course I've tested it!" "Just tell it what you want to see." "I'd like to see our father, Sultan Billah, please." "It's Father!" "He's dying." "We have to be there." "The brothers learned a simple but abiding truth... men united were better than men divided." " It'll take us a week to get home." " No." "I have a better way!" "They arrived in time to save their father with Ahmed's Apple of Life." "United now, and for the rest of their lives... they ruled in peace and harmony." "What advice did the Holy Seer give Ahmed... when he handed him the magic apple?" "He said the world was an inferno full of darkness and evil... and there were only two ways of dealing with it... the first was easy and wrong, to accept it and become part of it... the second way was harder and right, you fight it... and recognize those who aren't evil and help them endure." "You've taken me the second way..." "you've helped me... and saved me from the darkness." "Why?" "I loved you." "Is that the answer?" "It'll have to do until something better..." "We've had reports the enemy is being led by Schahzenan... and the former Sultana." "The Sultana is dead." "I killed her." "Even dead she can still help to destroy you." "The army thinks she's good luck... they make a powerful combination." "Tell them we have one even more powerful, I'll be riding into battle beside my husband." " No, it's too dangerous." " You don't have to prove your love." "It would raise the spirits of our men." "They have a dead Queen and... we have a live one." "It was a cold desert morning as the city gates opened and the great army came forth to do battle." "Sultan Schahriar planned to take his enemy by surprise... there was no fear in his heart as he went boldly on the attack." "Guard my wife!" "She is more precious to me than my life." "A small group led by Sultan Schahriar led the main party to make a daring raid." "They say fortune favours the brave, and those who can learn from their mistakes." "The story-teller always said, stories can save us." "The guess only meant was... they can save us, if we use our imagination." " Gather your men!" " Yes, Sayid." "Rise your swords!" "Open sesame!" "Schahriar!" "It's time to take responsibility for your actions brother and die!" "Arrows..." "Schahzenan's troops were caught in a pincer movement... with hostile forces in front... and back." "Death comes in many shapes and sizes." "Now, it was Schahzenan's turn." "The battle was over." " And Father won?" " Yes, Father won... and saved Baghdad." "That was very exciting your good at stories, Mummy." " Tell us another one!" " Another one, Mummy!" " Another one!" " Oh, tomorrow night..." "I'll tell you another story tomorrow night... just wait till tomorrow night."