"000 pages." "My life and loves." "That's just about one woman for every page." "I'm tired." "But there is one story I haven't put down." "Francesca." "really." "So keep it to yourself." " For how long?" " I don't know how long." "and you're a whore." " I'm an actress." "What's the difference?" "Giacomo." "You be good for your grandmother." "you know I love you very much." " Mama." "Listen to me." "Look out there." "Know one day you'll come back to Venice and I'll return for you." "I promise." "I promise." "She means when I am dead." "It's not her fault." "It's in the blood." "A heat for love." "Irresistible." "Irresistible." "my love!" "My husband." "Your husband is the luckiest man in Venice and doesn't know it." "And it's lucky he's not in Venice." "I love you like no other." "You are my dreams come true." "please make love to me again." "tell me I'm the only one." "Of course." "I always do." "I'm home!" " My husband!" "I know Casanova well." "It's just like him." " Has the iceman come yet?" " Yes." "And he comes again tomorrow." "Don't believe what people say." "I don't conquer." "I submit." "I've never sought glory as a lover." "do you seek?" "A moment that lasts a lifetime." "tell me." "This unusual order of nuns you belong to." "Is it a very strict order?" "Very." "No jewels or nice clothes before sundown and back in our cells by..." " Heavens!" "Is that the time?" " You don't have to go." "I must." "It's been delightful." "Only..." "Only..." "How do I know you're really Casanova?" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Casanova." " The Inquisition is here looking for you." " No." "Forgive me." "they'll hang you." "wait." "Tell me I was the one." "You are the one." "I could never." " Casanova." "For you." " Thank you." " Where is Casanova?" " I've taken a vow of si..." "Eternal damnation." "For one night with Casanova." "Seems fair." "We've got him." "Come on." "including myself." "I'm not old-fashioned in this matter." "I do not say a woman's place is at the hearth and in the bed." "What I do say..." "Of course it is their place." "What I do say is let them be educated at home. to bring us down to our earthly appetites." "So I say no woman shall ever set foot inside this university." "Let my opponent take the floor." "And now Dr Giordano of Padua." "gentlemen." " Silence!" "Let me show you who is bringing whom down to earth." "A woman is air and fire and lightness and strength." "Like this little vessel that would rise up to heaven were it not held down by ballast - bags of sand." "The dead weight of men with their heads full of sand." "Only a woman would argue by this demonstration of a toy." "or I'll eat my words. who was said to live in this very city." "Bernardo Guardi." "That madman." "Wait until the Inquisition catches up with him. but he has more understanding of women than any man in this room." "And I'll wager he has better luck with them in bed as well." "Strumpet." "There he is!" "Over there!" "Stop him!" "Hold him!" "my apologies." "You see?" "The dead weight of men." "But I didn't know what was happening." "He..." "He bewitched me." "He said he was the Holy Ghost." "And it's happened before." "heresy." "To wit:" "Fornication with a novice." "she was hardly a novice." "tomorrow at dawn." "And this time your admirers in high places won't be able to help you." "Inquisitor." "The doge." "Dalfonso." "we were just talking about you." "What brings you here?" " I have a special interest..." " I have a special interest." "This time the prisoner has been condemned on the evidence of a nun." "A special interest in your witness." " Sister Beatrice?" " I need a word." "don't you know who she is?" " Who?" " Cardinal Lopresta's mistress in waiting." "He entrusted me with safeguarding her virginity for him alone." "She's leaving for Rome today." "Beatrice." "God!" "Those Romans." "Father Dalfonso." "Who's going to get the blame for dragging her into the Casanova affair?" "Take your time." "Me?" "this seems to be another case of mistaken identity." "You are free to go." "but I'm being threatened by Rome." "is perceived as a hotbed of... as one enormous hot bed with silk sheets and heretical books under the mattress." "The people here are given over to physical pleasure and scepticism." "Casanova." "I'm expelling you from Venice." "is there?" "London." " I can't leave Venice." " Why?" " I'm waiting for someone." " She may let you down." " No." "She promised she'll come one day." "You don't understand." "I'm expelling you from Venice for your own good." " Unless..." " Unless what?" "Unless you find yourself a respectable wife." "A good woman from a good family will give you protection." "A wife?" "It will soon be the time of Carnevale when authority winks at our indiscretions." " You're bad enough during Lent." " But Carnival's in a few days." "You better not waste any more time then." "you're on good behaviour." " A wife?" " No scandals..." " Getting married?" "drunken escapades." "Lupo." " We were worried about us." " You were right to be." " We're getting married." " Congratulations." "To whom?" "Don't know yet." "Any callers?" "usual creditors." "Look at the state of us." "Where have you been all night?" "It's like being married already." "Can you get me some fresh clothes?" "We have some shopping to do." "she snores." "I remember." "Lady Veronique Costello." " Heavenly." " Yeah." " Duchess of Urfe." " Yes." " But didn't she poison her husband?" " Did she?" "I don't remember that." "Giulietta Badalamente." "she hasn't poisoned her husband yet." "Perhaps if we told us what we're looking for." "modesty." " Purity." " All that." "Lupo." "We have had a vision." "Still spying on your virgin?" "She'll never look this way if you don't make yourself known." "The whole town's talking about it." "It's just appalling." "You think those men liked hearing they're no good in bed?" "they'd go home to their wives." "arrogance in a woman is not attractive." "She's not arrogant." "She's just angry." "sir?" " Don't defend your sister. which is seen as arrogance." "come away from the window." "Our neighbours'll think you're a gargoyle." "Vittorio." "Over there." "this is a very important week as you well know." "You have responsibilities." "I won't be poor any more." "Much thanks to your father who had the foresight to betroth her to his rich cousin's eldest son in Genoa." "Listen to this." ""Mystery transvestite at university nearly starts fire." "God." "Can't they get anything right?" "Be thankful." "I told you I'd not permit another scandalous display at the university." "I don't want to marry him." "I will." "is it?" "I'm damned to be widowed and gathering dust." "Mother." "Well done." "I know why you're like this about your fiancé." " Why I'm like what?" " Come on." "You're always slipping away in secret." "And you're thin." "It's obvious you've already got a secret lover." "don't tell." "Hello." "A gift for your daughter." "I don't know what to say." "Thank you." "It's magnificent." "But you don't know my daughter and she doesn't know you." "Signor Donato." "Signor Casanova." "I've always wondered what you look like." "I can see that." "how can I put this?" "Victoria is that rare thing - a Venetian virgin." "but invariably it turns out that..." "I am sorry." "Do go on." "Thank you." "She's led a very protected life." "Never has an impure thought crossed her mind." "Of course not." "or even seen a man without his coat." "I've made sure of that." "There isn't anything I wouldn't do to ensure her happy innocence." "but..." " Heaven forbid." " Exactly." "One hears things." " Yes. reputed to have the longest list of conquests ever known." "A virtuoso of the intimate caress." "The maestro of multiple..." "Signor Donato. to reduce women to quivering puddles of..." "Victoria!" "Are you all right?" "Papa." "I'll never be happy without him." " Congratulations." "We're engaged." " We are a marvel." "actually getting married?" " Yes." "You have sullied my glove." "love." "My love." " I'm sorry." "What did he just call us?" " We didn't sully it." "It came out of nowhere." "Thank you." "You've sullied my love." "Victoria Donato is my fiancée." " Is she?" " Yes." "she never mentioned that." "Of course she didn't." "I haven't asked her yet." "Wha...?" "sir." "are you two working together now?" "Lupo." "San Cremori at dawn." "dear sir." " You coward." " We happen to be on good behaviour." "You have no right to decline to defend your honour." "so we have the right." "He who gets slapped has his rights." "Those are the rules." "See?" "what did we do that for?" " I don't know." "San Cremori at dawn." "May I know of whom I have the honour to be killing?" "Lupo Salvato." "Thank you." " Don't forget your glove." " Thank you." "Surely we don't mean..." "What's this "we"?" "You slapped him." "You fight him." "I see you're not laughing now." "Come on!" "The apple is very distracting." "It's all right." "I'll fight him." "I can be Lupo Salvato." "Bastard!" "Signor Salvato." "dear." "This gentleman is here to explain the terms of the duel and to see fair play." "gentlemen." "Stay behind the line until I give the word." "the other puts up his sword until I say "continue"." "Yes." "your second hands you the spare sword." "we do." "First blood ends the duel." "Master!" "Move." "Go on." "Master!" "It's the old switch game." "You'd have killed him." "And you are?" "Francesca Bruni." "He's my brother." "Signor Salvato." "I should think you would be sorry." " It was all a case of mistaken identity." " Mistaken identity?" "Giovanni got it into his head you were courting Signorina Donato." " Did he?" " It's all over Venice." "Casanova." "I know him." "No." "Casanova the libertine who devotes his life to seducing women." "we're obviously talking about the same person." "don't you think?" "perhaps." "All love is true in different ways." "To say "I love falsely" is as self- contradictory as saying "I believe falsely"." "too. pondering the ways of love and how it makes us at one with the angels." "And with the beasts." "I will not debate with you if you take the side of a man whose idea of love demands a female sacrifice every day." "I've no sympathy for women who think no better of themselves than to be a plaything." "self-love." "And self-love is self-doubt." " Well said." " Yes." "Signor Salvato." " Clearly." " Give me a man who is man enough to give himself just to the woman who is worth him." "I would love him alone and forever." "Signor Salvato." "one of us would have had good cause to be sorry." "I think." "Francesca Bruni." "without fail." " You said that last week!" " I was a week early." " Go to hell." " I'll see you there." "Thank you so much." "the nerve!" "Can you believe this man?" "I mean does he know who we are?" "He should be honoured to be owed money by the likes of us." " Lupo." " What?" "I've made a terrible mistake." " You have?" " Yes." "I have to find her." "I'm a little confused." "I know." "Francesca!" "He's arriving tomorrow." "Your fiancé." "She has a fiancé." "so do you." "Mario." "How are you?" "more disgrace." " Allow me." " Thank you." "I'm sorry." "this is Signor Salvato." "I understand you've had an unpleasant encounter with my son this morning." "It was nothing more strenuous than a morning's constitutional." "Come along." "Sorry." " Your sister has a fiancé?" " She's in love with Casanova." " Who is?" " Victoria." "yes." " Engaged to Casanova." " Yes." "you'll have to beat him at his own game." "But how?" "I'm up against a world-class seducer." " Hello." " So?" "What would Casanova do?" "he wouldn't mope around." "I suppose not." " Misery is not attractive." "you have to be worth loving." "That's the first rule." "And second not the moth." "not the moth." " Yes." "It's my tongue." "Got very loud." "is she happy with this new fiancé of hers?" "No." "She's never met him." "she has a secret lover." " A secret lover?" " Yeah." "I don't know." "It's a secret." "she's always sneaking off in the..." "See?" "I'm sorry." "there she is." "Casanova." "We are buying Victoria's trousseau." "Only three days to go before the wedding." "Casanova." "No intercourse before the wedding." "I'm a traditionalist." "of course." "let us off." "A secret lover." "He's going to bang her to pieces." "From Rome." "The Inquisitor's office." "A cesspit of heresy and fornication." "they mean us." "127 complaints against Signor Casanova." "Do we know him?" "You'll see there are suspicions Casanova enjoys the protection of this very office." "That's absolutely rid..." "It's either his neck or it's ours." "It better be his." "Get me my notebook." "dear." "She's completely worn him out." "I found his name." "He's a writer." "The Subjugation of Women by Bernardo Guardi." "No wonder." "He's entered her head and her heart as well." "Here we live in the midst of masculine domination and what be the result?" "Half the population is missing from the feast?" "not an opinion... all he need to say... 'I have too long dominated the conversation." "What are..."' ...your thoughts on the matter?" "What are your thoughts?" " Meat?" "I'm the tailor!" " So you are." "Forgive me." "sir." "What are..." "What are your thoughts on the matter?" "I'd say..." "Lupo." "I'm..." "Could I have some tea?" "Of course." "my fiancé is turning up tomorrow." "What shall I do?" "It's simple." "Do your duty." "Is it my duty to marry a man that I don't know just because he's rich?" "it is." "Your duty to your father who had your best interest at heart." "my darling." "And love?" "Love?" "Love is something else. because wind and rain are just another kind of good weather." "That's love." "you'll fall in love with your husband." "He's not my husband yet. at the mercy of everyone we owe." " But if you honour the betrothal..." " The contract." "The betrothal then our troubles will be over." "It's between you and your conscience." "Amen." " Signor Salvato." " I do come here to make confession." " What are you doing?" " What am I here to confess?" "let's see." "Jealousy." "Pride." "Covetousness." "Despair." "And you?" "I came to prepare my soul for marriage." "Signorina Bruni." "and little enough to me. especially for a woman of independent mind." "I see my brother's tongue wags again." "In future he can fight his own duels." " You can't come in." " It's all right." "I'm a doctor." "You're not Casanova?" "No." "I can prove it if you'll show me your chest." " Are you often in church?" " I followed you." "Surely it is your friend Casanova for whom fiancées add spice to the pursuit." "you wouldn't be so quick to condemn him." "you would not be so quick to defend him." "Love is not an affair of a night or a fortnight." "And true love doesn't grow with the number of lovers." "It wastes away." " Where's your instrument?" " I'll get it out in a minute." "But you can't blame those who seek love wherever they can. meant for an evening but not a lifetime." "But can't that still be love all the same? by offering to make me a notch on your bedpost." "and I am a different man." "Casanova couldn't understand there... there is one way." "And that way is the sum of all the others." "I've too long dominated the conversation." "What are your thoughts on the matter?" " What did you just say?" " What?" " I'm in hell." " I'm busy." "Another note to your lover?" "I'd tell him it's all over if I was you." "Go away." "I'm marrying Papprizzio." " What did I do?" " Somebody came here who wanted to read your latest pamphlet before publication." " What?" " Did you show someone my work?" "whom I served well." "Until he fired you for stealing." " Where's the manuscript?" " I took it to the printer's like I always do." "I take the commission." "Everyone's happy except the priests." "Guardi?" " Church gave them to me." "They don't fit." "Don't lie." "This is an addition to page five." "Take it to the printer's." "Nobody came." "Nobody bribed me." "Would I be sober if they had?" "That's him." " Here." "Add this to chapter one." " Thank you." "Why should women lace themselves out of their natural shape?" " Casanova." " Signorina." "I left my window open." "I have so many windows and so little time." "Burn our corsets." " What are you doing?" " Sorry." "Forgive me." "It was an involuntary..." "Please let me help you." "there is room for a pet." "Dogs and cats provide solace and affection." "How rare is the man who knows that the pet of choice for today's woman is the intelligent and noble pig!" " A pig?" " I'll pay for the damage." "I'm well-endowed." "If you get my..." "I'm sorry." "That came out wrong." "Will you tell your lady that Signor Salvato is here with a gift?" "My mistress says the pig cannot come in." "But the animal we'll take." "I have news about the fiancé." "His name is Papprizzio." "He's from Genoa." "He's arriving at noon." "He's rich." "Of course he is." "Lupo." " How much do we owe?" " About 1500 lira." "Lupo." "Who owns this tub?" "sir." "merchant of Genoa." " And what's your cargo?" " Lard." " Lard?" " Finest in the world." "sir." "Tub of lard." "Do you mean to tell me you've never heard of my lard?" "We'll have to fix that." "water corner by morning." " Understand?" " Sign here." "Signor Papprizzio?" "I'm at yours." "The family of your fiancée sent me here to greet you and to send you to your palazzo." "But palazzo?" "I have a reservation at the Hotel Grifasi." "They didn't tell you?" "The Grifasi is closed." " Really?" "Why?" " Lupo." "indeed." "lead on." " My servant shall see to your baggage." " I think you have everything under control." "The first thing I'm going to do is call upon my betrothed of course." "Yes." "And how long does that usually take?" "Casanova bought a pig." "Casanova took the pig to the Bruni house." "Clear it." "Everything." "I'll take that." "Your Grace." "I am Bishop Pucci." "Bishop..." "I have been instructed to relieve you of your duties here in Venice." "To say that the pope is less than happy with your rate of progress is an understatement of monumental proportions." "You and your entire staff have been reassigned to open a mission among the natives of" "the equatorial region." "What kind of natives?" "they have a great hunger for religion." "eh?" "so we got the villa at a very reasonable price." "Really?" "How reasonable?" "Lupo?" "600 lira." " Yes." " Get a receipt." " Of course." "600 lira?" "Casanova bought a pig?" "Casanova took pig to Bruni house." "Casanova met with Papprizzio at dockside." "Took Papprizzio to his house." "Is there anybody here who can explain this?" "You sent them all away to be eaten." "then we shall have to do some footwork ourselves." "Papprizzio?" "The pork fat mogul from Genoa?" "We're here to discover heresy and criminal licentiousness." "I dread to imagine the depths of depravity we're going to find here in Venice." "but I have a good feeling about this city. and I plan to use a good old bit of Genoan know-how to penetrate it." "newspapers." " That's just what Venice is missing." " That's exactly what I was thinking." " You have to keep an eye for that servant." " What?" "He's gone out." " He's gone out where?" " How am I supposed to know?" "I've arranged a trinket for my beloved - a little wedding present for my bride-to-be." "Would you like an advanced demonstration?" "please." " It's very..." " That's wonderful." "Exquisite." "Really." "Yeah." "Who is it?" "Was that him?" "How am I supposed to know that?" "What are we looking for?" "I don't know." "Something." "Anything." "sir." "Signora Bruni and her daughter request the pleasure of your company for tea." "Good." "Good." "Fulvio." "Master." "I'm certainly looking forward to seeing her." "Hope that she's not disappointed by me." "Hope that she doesn't think I'm..." "I don't know." "What's the..." "What's the word?" "The expression I'm looking for?" " Rotund?" " Excuse me." "What did you say?" "Would sir require a small snack before tea?" "do you see that trunk shaped vaguely like a salami?" " Yes." " It's filled with salami." " There you are." " Yes." "very impressive." " Thank you." " The choice of lime is very slimming." " You're too kind." "I must be off." "Didn't I have an appointment?" "What?" "Oh." "The publisher." "That was it." "To see how my new book is doing." "You're a writer." " I've been known to scribble a bit." " Bravo." "My master's a famous writer of love and how to please ladies." "You've heard of Bernardo Guardi... hush." " But he's a friend." " I'm so sorry." " Bernardo Guardi?" " I can't believe it." " I'm so sorry." "I didn't mean to." "are Bernardo Guardi?" "That's my nom de plume." "But you must swear to tell no one." "sir." "My solemn vow." "Bernardo Guardi." "this will need some thinking about." "sir." "Look at me." "I am." "Now look at that." "no." "we call it advertising." "Yes." "Fine." "But so what of it?" "If she loves you as you are..." "She's never seen me." " Not even a glimpse." " Really?" "I beg you." "I'll pay it." "You want me to tutor you?" "I want you to transform me." "Transform me." "but you have but an hour until you must you meet her." "I don't want to go." "You can't make me go. deals with the outer man." "the relation between the physical and the spiritual is little understood." "of course." " Master Guardi." " Yes?" "Can you make me look like that?" "God." "But it will take courage." "It will take time." " Long confinement to this villa." " Courage." "Yes." " Do you understand?" " I understand." "Fulvio." "I will send my servant Fulvio to the house of Bruni with a note." "excellent." "Can we start?" "I want to start right now." "Lupo." "Lovely." "Giovanni!" "Signor Papprizzio is expected at any moment." "Signor Salvato." "tell Signor Salvato I am not at home." "how strange." "I'm sure that I was invited to tea." " You were?" " We're not having tea." "Forgive me." "I must have forgotten an invitation." "I believe." " We were expecting Francesca's fiancé." "Indeed." "And here he is." "forgive me." "It is time I presented myself under my true colours." "my name is not Salvato. all the way from Genoa." "Signor Papprizzio. dazzled by dreams of an empire of pork." "They looked at me and they saw a mountain of lard." "no." "Not at all." "you need fattening up." "I don't like thin men." "Francesca's father was enormous." "I remained true to the fiancée that I'd never seen." "But I wanted to make sure before I declared myself she likewise had kept herself for me and hadn't been seduced by the first charmer that came along with a..." "Pig." "signor." "and so far all I know about you is..." "Perhaps you remember sending me this. with my hopes." "Perhaps I should've brought the other letters you wrote me." "The only desire I have is that you'll come to love me." "I shall release you from your engagement." "There isn't!" "There isn't." "Bishop Pucci." "Your Excellency." "We're delighted." "but since I've just arrived in Venice the pope was anxious to be remembered." "Allow me to introduce my son-in-law-to-be Signor Papprizzio." " Signor Papprizzio." " Bishop." " My daughter Francesca." " My dear." "Bishop Pucci?" "Francesca... no." "I'm delighted that my reputation precedes me." "The Vatican sent me to deal with moral problems." "heresy." "How exactly does the Church define heresy?" "Francesca!" "I hardly think heresy is a fit conversation for a young lady." "Why?" "Can't we be heretics?" "wishes to learn more from you perhaps." "If you please." "Very well." "Heresy is an affront to the teachings of the Church." "It is a rebellion against our mores and our morals. heresy is whatever I say it is." "he is a heretic." "And why is that?" "where is the tea?" "Guardi's words cause women to feel dissatisfied" " and men to doubt their manhood." " Really?" "I have some very sad news for you." "He's written out." "My colleagues are scouring the streets for him as we speak." "I'm so sorry." "no." "I have people to see." "Signorina Bruni." "May I have the honour of accompanying you to the carnival ball?" "But I've done nothing wrong." "I'm innocent!" "You've got the wrong man!" "Let me go!" "Come on." "Come on." "I have an urgent message for you from Bernardo Guardi." "Who are you?" "Never mind." "The Chief Inquisitor from Rome is here and he is out for blood." " Delay publishing the new pamphlet." " You're a little late." "my God." "Stop selling it." " Sorry." " That's what it says." "The pig." "tit." "Right." "make sure it's ready in time for the ball." "Ah." "Master." " How's the treatment going?" " Well... well..." "It's impossible he could look any worse." "is that you?" " Hello." "Who's there?" " Good God." "You achieved the impossible." " Thank you." " What have you smeared all over him?" "mostly." "Mint jelly." " Hello?" " A few coffee grounds." " Yes." "Coffee grounds." "Well done." "Maestro?" "Papprizzio." " How do I look?" "let's see." "Yes." "That's very good." "It's coming along quite nicely." "I've been asking your man for a mirror." "He can't seem to find one for me." "mirror?" " I can't find one anywhere." "I'm terribly anxious to check my progress." "of course." " Yes." "Fulvio." "Good man." "God." "It's working." "isn't it?" " Yes." "indeed." "to the house of Bruni?" "Yes." " Good." "Bad weather or some such?" " Yes." "Of course I did. but I do think I need just a bit more time." "I think you're right." "You do need some more time." " Listen." "Don't worry." "I'll handle that." " Good man." "a little more around the belly." "Lupo." "More on the belly." "Bishop Pucci wishes to see you." "Of course." "but I'm not the Bernardo Guardi." "Bernardo." "There's no shame in being a writer." "shall we?" "I'll read you a sentence and you finish it." "A woman is air and..." "Bernardo?" "I don't know." "Trouble?" "No." "No." "Wind?" "Air and wind?" "shall I?" "It's not the tea I object to." "It's the water." "how well do you know Casanova?" "Be careful how you answer." "I could become interested in you." "I was less than..." "I was less than frank at Signora Bruni's." "It is Casanova I have come here to hang." "That fornicator who spits upon the teachings of the Church." "Are you following me?" "Good." "So why did you go with Casanova to his house?" " I'm renting it from him." " You're renting it?" "of course." " Business." "I believe he went out of town for a day or two." " Out of town?" " Yes." "he's hardly likely to absent himself from Carnevale. the Church will be very grateful." "How grateful?" "The lard concession at the Vatican." "Which is a lot of lard." "That's quite an attractive offer." "So we have a deal?" "You will help deliver Casanova unto me?" "As sure as my name is Papprizzio." "Your Reverence." " No." "I don't think he is the heretic." "I think someone is just using his name" " as a nom de plume." " A nom..." "Andolini." "What do you mean you think?" "The Inquisition is not paid to think." "Be sure!" "I am pretty sure." "He can't read or write." "Lupo!" "Lupo!" " There is no lover!" " What?" " There is no secret lover." " What?" "She never had one." "Carnevale." "Talked of pigs all week." "have you seen my husband?" " I am your husband." "sir?" " I don't know what he looks like." "But he's bound to be here." "He wouldn't miss the carnival." "Signor Papprizzio." "See?" "Everybody's here." "We just have to find them." "Victoria?" "Victoria!" "sir." "Signor Pizzani and Signora." "You're welcome." "Signor Papprizzio of Genoa escorting Signorina Bruni." "You're welcome." "Signor Dandolo and Signora." "You're welcome." " Signor Papprizzio." " Mother Bruni." "We must introduce you to everyone we know." "this should be interesting." "signora?" " May I?" "I'm free." " I..." " Be my guest." " Watch this." "I have a message from your fiancée." "which one?" " Signorina Donato." "She's in the piazza." "She's waiting for you to escort her in." "Good Lord!" "Come." "Don't worry." "You're not my first virgin." " Victoria." " Casanova." "Something is not right." "Do we have the address of Casanova's house?" "Then I think now is the time for positive action." "Lord and Lady Devonshire." "You're welcome." "Signor Casanova and Signorina Donato." "Signor Casanova." "Enchanting." "I'm so very pleased for you and me." "Your Grace." "You're welcome." "Ambassador Gritti and Signora." "where can we go?" "no." " I can't wait any longer." " Sit down." "Very good." "Wait here and I'll come back with a glass of wine." " Casanova." " How wonderful to see you." "What are you doing down there?" "No." "There he is." " We danced off our feet." " You danced off your feet." "How lovely." "That's better." "I'm fine." " Signore." " Yea-ah!" "It's Signor Donato from across the canal." "It's Signor Donato from across the canal." "I just said that." " May I?" " Please." "Thank you." "I'm fine." "Just hot." "I was there." "but I wasn't." " Do you know Signor..." " Yes." "I'm the future son-in-law." " That's right." " Yes!" " Congratulations are in order." " Yes." "Thank you." "I mean..." "No." "Yes." "Congratulations are in order." "I just said that." "Congratulations." "You must be pleased for Victoria." "That reminds me." "Have you seen Victoria?" "no." "That's true." "I thought she'd be here with her... her fiancé." "That's true." "I haven't seen her anywhere." "I think she's... but she has defied me." " She must have changed." " She has." "I suppose getting engaged to the famous Casanova has gone to her head." " What is the matter with this table?" " It's a good table." "It's fine." "I'm a traditionalist." "No intercourse before the wedding." " Social intercourse." " There's somebody under the table." " Which table?" " This table!" "Is this the palazzo of Signor Casanova?" "Your Excellency." "I see." "I find it difficult to believe this is what women want." "little piggy." "I think..." "Don't think." "Just do what you do." "Stop the treatment!" "I don't like this part of the treatment!" "what progress?" " He seems confused." "Fornication on a massive scale leads to confusion." " Signor Casanova." " I'm Papprizzio of Genoa." "I am intimately acquainted with Signor Papprizzio." " I've had tea with him." " Ask Fulvio." "Fulvio." "Sir." "So who is...?" "stupid." "maybe you'll tell me the whereabouts of the owner of the palazzo where you're staying." " Signor..." " Guardi." "Signor Bernardo Guardi is my host here." "taking his course." "He designed my treatment." "Do you realise Guardi is a heretic?" "Bernardo Guardi is a nom de plume." "Then if" "Bernardo Guardi is a nom de plume perhaps the plume's nom is" "Casanova." " Casanova?" " It was staring us in the face all along." "boring." "Your Reverence." "Good Lord." "He's taken my fiancée to the ball." "he's not." "Get your men together and come with me." " Where are you going?" " I'm going to the ball." "so are we!" " You're right." "She's here." " Where?" "Right over there." "See?" "You should take her home." "I'm a traditionalist myself." " Signor Valmarana and Signora." "At least someone's made an effort." "at least somebody's made an effort." "Now that is purple." "is it?" "Am I wrong?" "That is a..." "London?" "Paris?" "Rome?" "Is it..." "It's almost a papal purple." "It reminds me of something." "Don't tell me." " Inquisitor Pucci." " Inquisitor Pucci." "I know." "I heard you were in Venice." " Come for a dance?" " I'm here to arrest Giacomo Casanova." "Casanova is about to marry a young woman famous for her modesty." "and he's under my protection." "Does your protection extend to heretics?" "Doge." "Your city's freedom dangles from the belt of the Vatican." "You're welcome." " Admiral Massimo Canal and Signora." " You're welcome." "Where's Francesca?" "My name is Pietro Papprizzio and I'm from Genoa." "What?" "Signor Papprizzio of Genoa." "So you're Papprizzio?" "From Genoa?" "Is your name..." "Bruni." "I'm your..." "I'm your future..." "I never dreamt you'd be so beautiful." "Me?" "dear." "Why..." "I'm your future mother-in-law." " My mother-in-law?" " Yes." "to my daughter." "Some people find her beautiful." " There's a man who's after her." " Really?" "Does she like him?" "your daughter has been duped by none other than Casanova." "But worry not." "He's as good as... all right?" "Thank you." "Well." "Signorina." "I was afraid I'd lost you. or some other valuable possession?" "I know that no man will ever own you. for that I hold my hopes." "Let's start by taking one step closer to heaven." "You get this one here." "Ready." "On the count of three." "three." "Witchcraft." "overcoming the gravitational force of..." "Witchcraft." "Here we are." "Look!" "It's Casanova with his new fiancée." "Casanova." "Come on." "Is that Francesca?" " It is her." " That's Francesca." " I've never seen her look so happy." " Really?" "Signor Papprizzio." "O calamity." "She's thrown me over." "well." "A scandal." "dear." "What will I do?" "Signor Papprizzio." "I'm beginning to believe that your heart is true." "There is more of the lover than the merchant in you." "Why didn't you tell me you were my betrothed?" "You didn't trust me?" "why didn't you tell me you were Bernardo Guardi?" "It's all right." "I won't tell anyone." "I should've guessed the first time I saw you in that citadel of male complacency when you were as brave in debate as you were later in duel." "You were Bernardo Guardi in beauty's mask." "Francesca." "You were at the debate?" "I was." "At the university." "Francesca... have honest reason..." "What?" "I can explain this." "Are you Papprizzio?" "my betrothed." "Who are you?" "I'm Casanova." "What?" "I'm..." "I'm Giacomo Casanova." "You stand for everything I write against." " Wasn't that before you knew me?" " I don't know you." "Which one of you?" "I think I liked you better in your masks." "At least Salvato was a gentleman." "I despise." "You dare to say you love me." "I would save myself for the kind of love which a man would give his life for." " Are you hurt?" " I'm fine." "Casanova." "Signor Casanova. a coward who hides behind the name of another " "Signor Bernardo Guardi." "I arrest you as a heretic." "he is." "don't." "No." "I'm Bernardo Guardi." "Bishop Pucci." "my dear?" "I was a virgin." "My virginity was my most cherished possession - my gift from God." "My gift was taken from me." "Tragic and most damnable." "What was the name of this vile seducer?" "Giacomo Casanova." "When Casanova came to my room and robbed me" "I fought for my honour." "Are you saying you'd be willing to give me the testimony that I need to hang him?" "Yes." "But I would worry about my reputation. we could return your reputation and your virginity to you." "yes." "We are the Catholic Church." "We can do anything." "Excuse me." "When is my turn?" "Give me a man who is man enough to give himself just to the woman who is worth him." "I would love him alone and forever." "Thank you very much." " Are you sure I don't owe you anything?" " On the contrary." " Thank you." " Bye." " Bye." " Come back." "You're..." "You're the boy in the window." "Signorina Donato." "We won't forget you." "You'll be a legend among the girls." " This is terrible." " Why?" "I've loved you hopelessly for years." "Why didn't you say?" "the prisoner is being represented by a Dr Giordano of Padua." "Dr Giordano." "Your Grace." " What?" "Mistaken..." " Yes." "This man is not Bernardo Guardi." "I am." " You see?" " He is protecting someone." "you are." "you are... not." "Protecting who?" "The woman who loves him." "perhaps you could indulge the court with a few samples of your more renowned philosophies on women." "does that not suffice?" "must we listen to this stuttering heretic?" "He has self-confessed." "Is that all that you require?" "A confession?" "yes." "I suppose so." "Good." "written in my own hand." "I am the only one with proof that I..." "I am Bernardo Guardi." "You?" " Francesca." " Do you really think I'd let you die for me?" "release the prisoner Casanova." "let us not forget this is a court of law." "We still have a self-confessed heretic. a violator of virgins whose guilt I will prove by the testimony of..." "No!" "It wasn't true." "Of... attesting to the libidinous lust of Giacomo Casanova." "There is only one verdict open to this court:" "Guilty." "And one sentence:" "Death." " Death to the heretic Bernardo Guardi." " No!" "And death to the master fornicator" "Giacomo Casanova." "sir." "I don't think we can wait any longer." "Very well." "I shall have to do it without him." "Cardinal Lopresta has arrived!" "et cetera." "Your Eminence." "Bishop Pucci." "An honour to meet you at last." " I've heard so much about you." " Thank you." "What's happening here?" "Just hanging a heretic and Casanova." "What luck." "My nurse." "And does your nurse enjoy executions?" "Does the pope have a balcony?" "What I actually came to say is this." "Venetians!" "Greetings from His Holiness." "today is the pope's birthday." " And..." " Did you know that?" "His Holiness has decreed a papal pardon for all those who would be executed on this happy day." " Your Eminence." " Free the prisoners." "Free the prisoners!" "Your Eminence." "No." "No." "No." "You don't seem to share the pope's happiness on his birthday." "I do." "I do." "How old is he?" "I'm not quite sure." "no..." " Best stay here." "Crowd's turning ugly." "Please join me in my coach." "We're leaving for my country house." "I'm so sorry I'm late." "My fault." "I'm to blame." "Tito." "The love of my life." "This is my son." "of course." "You may have seen me." "we left our troupe in Trieste when we heard the news." "Had to move fast." "the paint is wet." "It says "Theatre Troupe" here." "Cardinal Lopresta has arrived!" "Arrest those impostors!" "Move!" "Get out of the way!" "Giacomo!" "people!" "Casanova!" "darling." "Quick as a bunny." "I didn't know it was the pope's birthday." "So how goes things?" "isn't it?" "This is the last time I'm travelling coach." "everyone!" "Hang on!" "boy!" " Tito!" "Everybody off." "darling." "I'm your future stepfather." " I was always faithful to you." " I never had any doubt." "None at all." "darling." "Let's escape on my barge." "It's by the water." "That way." "Charge!" "dear." "Giovanni!" "darling." "Excuse us." "Excuse us." "Out of the way." "Out of the way." "Excuse us." "darling." "This way." "I can't wait for you to see the boat." "Here's the boat." "Right this way." "On your new boat." " Vittorio." "Vittorio." " Careful." "Careful." " I'm behind you." " This way." "my baby." "Listen." "You're staying behind with me." "men." "dear." "do something useful." "what can I do?" " Something useful." "Giovanni!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Quickly!" "Quickly!" "they'll follow us both." "What?" " You mean they'll follow Casanova?" " That's right." "What if he never left?" "I could do it." "There's more to this than just the name." "I wouldn't mind being Casanova." " I wouldn't mind being on that boat." " And I wouldn't mind my wedding." "come on." "where you going?" "I'm staying." "sir." "My place is with Casanova." "my good friend." "Master." "After them!" "Better luck next time!" "simpletons!" "Get after them!" "Go on!" "I told you I'd come back." "an actor's life." "You'll love it." "Who writes your plays?" "Come inside." "Lovely." "Just my kind of good weather." "Which is why the story of Casanova and Francesca isn't mine to tell." "Victoria and I lived happily ever after." "Just not together." "Venice." "Casanova was back." "I believe I rose worthily to the occasion" "while I kept the secret of the true love of the man who was" "Casanova."