"So, today's the day." "Eric's moving out." "Oh, wow." "Are you okay?" "Yeah, actually." "I think the separation thing is gonna be good." "What does this mean?" "Are you guys gonna, like, date other people?" "Ooh, 'cause if you do, I got a great guy for you," "E.J. He's a security guard at work." "He lives with his mom... but they live on a boat." "Joey, we're not seeing other people." "This is time for us to work on our relationship." "Oh, that's too bad." "If E.J. doesn't find a girl soon," "I think he's gonna kill his mom." "So, I, uh..." "I guess this is good-bye for now, huh?" "Uh, I guess so." "Man." "Is that thing on his back a gun?" "No." "This is the right thing, and it's just temporary." "And, uh, it's exactly what we need, you know." "A little distance." "That's it?" "So what was with the big, dramatic good-bye?" "Yeah." "Well, I know he's close, but my husband and I am separating." "That's huge." "Yeah, you're right." "I can see that." "I'm sorry." "Yeah." "I mean, he may not seem very far, but in my heart, he's a million miles away." "Alex?" "Oh, God." "You scared the crap out of me!" "1x21 Joey and the Spying" "Oh, hey, allow the gentleman to help the lady." "Why, thank you." "You know, I developed those pictures I took of you." "They turned out great." "There's one in particular I want to show you." "Oh." "Is it the nude one?" "We didn't take any nude photos." "Oh, sorry." "That's right." "I had two photo shoots that day." "Hey, you, uh... you want to go see a movie tonight?" "Oh, I would love to, but I have that..." "Oh right." "Dinner with Rick." "Yeah." "I am looking forward to our date Tuesday, though." "Yeah, yeah, me, too." "I guess I'll just see you then." "Okay." "Oh, hey, you got, uh, two bars of soap in there." "Go ahead, take one." "Oh, you rock." "Okay, which would you rather do, go to the movies with me... or make dinner for some boring dude?" "You're right." "Michael, you are on your own." "Joey and me are going to the movies." "No." "No, Gina." "Sara's still dating that Rick guy." "God, it really bothers me." "Joey, just tell her how you feel." "No." "I'll come off I needy and emotional." "Women hate that." "No." "Actually, I beg to differ." "You see, I told this girl Annabelle that she wasn't giving me what I needed emotionally, and she really appreciated my honesty, you know." "Unfortunately, she's been gone every weekend ... for the last six months, but... when she gets back two hearts beating as one." "I'm gonna go check to see if her ... e-mail account is still on the fritz." "He's gonna invent something, make lots of money." "Then the women will come." "So, what am I gonna do about Sara?" "Why don't you show her such a good time... that she forgets all about the other guy?" "Ooh." "Okay, I can do that, yeah." "I'll, uh, send her flowers, ask her about work." "I'll do all the stuff that ugly guys have to do." "Hello." "Hey, Glen." "Yeah." "Hey, Gina, Glen's on the phone for you." "Uh, she's not here right now." "Yes, I did just say, "Hey, Gina."" "Because I call everybody Gina." "Look, I'll have her call you." "All right." "Bye-bye, Gina." "What was that?" "Well, I didn't want to involve you since he's your assistant, but things just haven't been working out for us." "Why?" "He such a nice guy." "I know!" "He's too nice!" "I mean, you now what it's like to be with someone... who asks permission to talk dirty to you?" ""May I ask you who your daddy is?"" "Okay." "So what, you're gonna break up with him?" "Every time I bring the subject up, he just looks at me with those big eyes." "He's just so into me." "You know, if he finds out that I'm not that into him, it's just gonna kill him." "I wish there was something else I could blame it on." "Well, you know what always works for me." "I am not gonna tell him I'm moving ... to some made-up country." "Hey, there's always room for one more person ... in Bishkadoo." "Flowers." "They're beautiful." "Yeah?" "I thought you might like them." "And at the flower shop, they were also selling these really cute, heart-shaped balloons." "Yeah, might have been a little much." "That's what I thought, yeah." "Mm." "And I also made you ... a CD with a bunch of songs I thought you might like." "Oh." "Yeah." "Some Sinatra, Marvin Gaye." "And the last track is a Jerky Boys prank call." "I'll warn you now, make sure you're not drinking anything... when you listen to it." "It will come out your nose." "Wow." "I love a bunch of these songs." "Well, I'm not surprised." "I know you, Sara." "So, what's for dinner?" "Well, I've kept it nice and simple." "I've made a great salad." "I'm kidding." "I made meat loaf." "I know you, too." "That could have gotten ugly." "Ooh." "Wow." "Boy, if your meat loaf is as good as it looks, you may just be the perfect woman." "Well, if you're willing to tell me ... that that's good meat loaf, you may be the perfect man." "You know, I was thinking, maybe after we had our meat loaf," "I could show you my bedroom." "Ooh." "Maybe we just skip the meat loaf, and head in there right now." "Knowing how much food means to you, that's very flattering." "Or maybe we bring the meat loaf into the bedroom." "Okay." "Morning." "Hey." "Are you just getting home from your date?" "Yup." "We spent our first night together." "So, the flowers and everything worked, huh?" "No more Rick?" "I feel pretty confident that Rick is out of the picture." "I'm gonna go take a nap." "I didn't get much sleep last night, if you know what I mean." "Why?" "Were you worried about something?" "No, we..." "I know." "Give me five." "Hi." "Oh, my God!" "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." "Oh, I thought you were a girl I left up here by mistake." "It has happened." "I know it's weird that I'm in your bedroom, but being separated from Eric, I just.." "Hey, hey, hey, it's not weird." "You're hurting." "You've come to me for erotic comfort." "Joey, ew!" "Ew?" "!" "Ew you!" "Well, then, what are you doing up here?" "I can see into Eric's apartment from your window." "This separation thing was a lot harder than I expected, and so, I was kind of spying on him." "What?" "Why?" "This girl from his orchestra called and left a message... that she was coming over to meet him today." "She's a cellist." "Hey, hey, Alex, let's not bring race into this." "Look, Alex," "I think you're making a big deal out of nothing, and also, you don't want to start spying." "Start spying?" "I've been doing this since seventh grade." "My boyfriend cheated on me." "Do you know any other 12-year-old girls ... with German military binoculars?" "So, have you spied on Eric before?" "No." "According to my surveillance log," "I haven't done it at all since college." "Ah, Trevor." "You said you weren't gay." ""Man in park" would disagree." "Hey." "Hey." "I'm just grabbing some food for Alex." "She is in your bedroom already?" "Looking for erotic comfort?" "That's what I thought!" "No, she's up there spying on her husband." "Oh." "I like her more and more." "Oh, Sara dropped this off for you." "Oh." "That's Glen." "He kept calling, so I decided to bite the bullet and break up with him." "Would you mind answering it, and maybe sticking around in case things get a little rough?" "Hey." "Hey." "Look, Glen, we need to talk." "Have a seat." "Okay." "Glen, you..." "you truly are a nice guy." "But things just aren't working out." "I knew something was wrong." "I knew it." "And now I'm getting the "nice guy" speech." "Wow!" "Even... even though I felt this was coming, it still hurts." "Oh, no, not the big eyes." "Don't do this." "What do you expect?" "You don't think I know what "nice" means?" "It's code for "boring."" "I make you sick, and I put you to sleep at the same time." "No, Glen, I don't want you to feel bad." "How could I not feel bad?" "!" "You hate me." "No, I can't have you thinking that." "Well, you're breaking up with me." "If you don't hate me, what is it?" "Well, it's, uh, uh..." "Oh, hey, guys." "Michael, he hates you." "What?" "I barely talk to him." "Yeah, and he noticed that." "I'm sorry, I just can't be with a guy... who gets between me and my son." "Okay." "Well, maybe if I..." "No." "I already thought of that." "It'll never work." "Oh." "Sara gave me one of her photographs." "Now every time I look at it, I'll think of her." "Isn't it beautiful?" "It's a picture of you." "Yeah, I know." "Those eyes just burn into you, don't they?" "Oh, I'm sorry." "God." "I shouldn't be talking about Sara." "Why not?" "Because I'm not being sensitive." "I mean, our relationships are in very different places." "Mine is..." "And yours is..." "Thanks for being so sensitive." "Hey, it's who we are." "Ooh." "Here comes cello girl." "Oh, no." "She's a lot prettier than I thought she'd be." "Let me take a look." "Wow." "That is not what I thought a cello was." "Oh my God, there's Eric letting her in." "They shook hands!" "Oh, get a room!" "Alex, stop." "Enough spying." "I can't believe you're doing this." "Oh, hey, there's Sara." "Who's that guy she's with?" "Give me those." "She's still dating Rick?" "What about our special night?" "She just kissed him." "I can't believe she's kissing Rick." "Even though it's not technically related to me, may I still put it in my log?" "God, I thought Sara and I ... had reached a new place." "How could she do this?" "Well, aren't you seeing other people, too?" "Well, technically, but I haven't been with anyone since I met her." "You know what?" "That's the problem." "I'm just sitting around while she's doing stuff." "If she's going to have a date tonight, then so am I." "It's already 8:00." "Are you gonna to be able to find anyone to go out with?" "Give me a letter." ""H"?" "Hey, Heather, it's Joey." "Yup." "Nope." "Okay." "She's coming over." "Come in." "Hey." "Oh, hey, Glen." "Joey's upstairs." "Oh, no, actually," "I'm here to talk to you, buddy." "Do you have a math problem, or...?" "No." "I was just... you know, I was just thinking, and.... you and I haven't really got to know each other, so I thought maybe we could go do something fun." "Like what?" "If we left right now, we could make it to Disneyland before it closes." "Disneyland?" "Does my mom know about this?" "No." "Can I go on Space Mountain?" "Sure." "Will you buy me cotton candy?" "As much as you want." "Congratulations, Glen." "You may take me to Disneyland." "Blonde girl approaching." "Ten meters from door." "Thank you." "Five meters!" "I got it, Alex!" "Hey, Heather." "Thanks for coming by." "What's, uh..." "What's with the uniform?" "Oh, well, I came straight from work." "But this is a date." "I thought you'd wear something a little more sexy," "A little less:" ""no payments on a new flat screen till 2006."" "You know, we actually have a deal now..." "Heather, Heather, no, no..." "Joey." "Remember Rick." "Yeah." "Yeah." "We're just on our way out." "Oh, yeah." "This is my date, Heather." "You can't tell, but she actually has great body under that uniform." "You want to show her your belly button ring?" "No?" "Whatever you're comfortable with." "Well, what are you guys doing?" "Going to a movie." "Huh." "That's all?" "We're going to a movie and dinner." "Well, we'll probably get drinks." "Well, we'll probably get drunk." "Great!" "Have a great time." "Oh, we will." "Have fun drinking in moderation." "Thanks so much, Glenn." "Oh." "Anytime, buddy, anytime." "What's going on?" "What are you guys doing together?" "Oh, I wanted to get a little closer to Michael so I took him to Disneyland." "Uh..." "I thought we agreed to boycott that place." "Mom, for the last time, they don't serve beer to anyone there." "It's not just you, okay?" "Besides, if me and my new friend Glen... want to go to a theme park, we'll go to a theme park." "Or a planetarium, right?" "Tuesday, see you there?" "I'll be there." "Alright, you got it." "No, no, no." "You got it!" "I can't do this." "What?" "Look, Gina, I really wanted this to work, but I can't spend another second with Mr. Wizard." "I mean, who goes on a roller coaster... and talk about parabolic velocity?" "And, evidently, if a real mouse had a head and ears that big, its neck would snap." "So." "I'm really sorry, but... this is really over." "Oh, God, I hear him coming, I gotta go." "So, Mom..." "that's funny." "I was right about what I was saying to Glen before." "Turns out the actual pirates of the Caribbean, like, in real life... would not have been chasing women around, because they were, like, family men with religious backgrounds." "I have never loved you more." "Alex, you in here?" "Who's Alex?" "Uh, just a small woman... who stays in my room sometimes." "It's fine." "So... welcome to my bedroom." "You'll find bottled water on your left, blankets and pillows for your convenience." "And our flight time is scheduled... for three hours and 20 minutes." "Joey, I've heard your speech before." "Oh, good, then ..." "I don't have to show you where the exits are." "All right, can you just..." "give me one second, okay?" "Okay." "Oh, that is such a cute picture of you." "Who took it?" "Uh... someone who's so far from my mind," "I can hardly remember her name." "Okay..." "Now, where were we, Sara?" "Wait, did you just call me "Sara"?" "Oh, do you not like that, Heather?" "Actually, no, I don't." "What is going on here?" "Do you not want to do this?" "I do." "I don't." "I do." "I can't." "I'm done." "I'll bet." "Go talk to Sara." "Will you stop doing that?" "!" "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." "I heard you coming, but I didn't want to leave." "I don't understand it." "Sara's out with someone else." "Why can't I do that?" "I can't take this anymore." "I'm going to go talk to her." "Okay, on your way over, could you give Eric's window a quick wipe?" "Joey?" "I hope you're happy." "Rick." "Thanks to you, my date is ruined." "How?" "Because you gave me that picture." "Now every time I look at me, I think of you." "Well, you seemed to be doing an okay job ... of forgetting about me with stereo girl." "First of all, she is in the television department." "Okay, second, I sent her home." "I couldn't enjoy myself with her... because you were so in my head." "You think I'm enjoying myself?" "You think I enjoy being out with Rick?" "Wow." "I kind of thought this was going okay." "I made my own guacamole." "Well, if you don't like this guy, then why are you still seeing him?" "Because I can't put all my eggs in one basket." "You're not exactly a one-woman kind of guy." "Well, maybe I just hadn't found the right woman." "You saying I'm it?" "Maybe I am!" "That is great, by the way." "Thanks." "You know, I'm just going to go." "It's a shame you'll never have my taquitos." "So, what are we saying here?" "I guess... we're saying that we want to be together... and not see anyone else." "It was less scary when I yelled it." "Well, if we're going to do this," "I want to know it's for the right reasons." "And not because you're jealous, but... it's because it's something that you really want." "So I think that you should take some time to think about it." "Fine." "I will." "I thought about it." "Wow, that really is good guacamole." "Hey." "Yeah, I just came back for my toothbrush." "Is cello girl still in there?" "Yeah." "I just had a really good conversation with Sara." "I know." "I read your lips." "That was beautiful." "I think I'm getting a little delirious." "I saw Chewbacca walking through the courtyard." "That was Michael, honey." "He's going to a convention." "You got to get some sleep." "Look, there is nothing going on over there." "You get some rest." "I'll watch until she leaves, okay?" "Okay." "Oh, wait, I got to log out." "I'll do it for you." "That's against procedure, but okay." "Oh, okay." "Transcript:" "RaceMan Synchro:" "Travis" "Joey 1x21 Joey and the Spying"