"I can smell that hot blood just under your skin." "And, cowboy, you smell awesome." " Fuck you." " That can be arranged." "But I'm gonna kill you first." "Old teacher's pet was scared." "Yeah, he got you, dude." "Yeah, I was scared." "Vampires are scary." "Oh, how's that lip?" "It's okay." "How's your nose?" " Vampires are not a joke." " No sense of humor." "There's a war going on." "And you're either on the dark side or you're on the side of the light." "And there ain't no in-between." "I think you broke my nose." "I'm so sorry, Vampire Bill." "I know how this must look." " Get out of my house." " Bill, do not hurt him." "I swear, I wouldn't have let it go any further." "I said, get out of my house." " It's my house too." " Jessica, upstairs." " Okay, let's all just try to calm down." " That's a really good idea." "Are you gonna leave or am I gonna have to throw you out through a window that is closed?" " Bill, that is just rude." " Sookie, I've got this." "I'm going." "I'm going." " I wasn't gonna do nothing." " It's not her that I'm protecting, son." "I don't believe him for a minute." "We established there was to be no hunting in this house." "Look, I know you feel like shit because you had to make me and you should feel like shit." "But guess what?" "I'd never even kissed a boy before that." "Meeting Hoyt's the only good thing that's happened to me since my whole new life started." "No, I'm not ready for anything to happen too fast." "I'd have been happy just to go on kissing him all night long." "Now, is it my fault my fangs come out when I get turned on?" "I think I'm gonna like her." "Sookie, do not make the mistake of thinking you two can be girlfriends." " She is..." " Yeah, I get it." "She's a vampire." "Believe me, I learned my lesson about that." "But, Bill, I think we should take her with us to Dallas." "I think it would be good for you because I think, deep down you don't like vampires, even though you are one." "So?" "Well, hating yourself is a bad thing." "I am a vampire." "I am supposed to be tormented." "You're not just a vampire." "And Jessica doesn't have to be either." "You can teach her how to walk that line between vampire and human." "Yes, because I have mastered that." "Okay, so you can teach each other." "It's so different for her." "When I was made, one had no choice but to live completely outside the human world as an outlaw a hunter." "Humans were prey and nothing else." "I envy her." "I'll need to call the airline to arrange for two travel coffins instead of just one." "Isn't it exciting?" "Our first trip together." "Oh, come on, Bill." "I was almost killed last night." "Again." "At least give me this." " So you do this a lot?" " Swim?" "Well, at night." "Actually, I do." "I love when it's dark." "You have to focus on all your other senses." "It's amazing what you can feel when you take away the "looking at things" part." "I think it's also because there's no people here." "Ain't no boats." "No car stereos blasting crap music." "Nobody saying stupid things way too loud because of drink." "Just the world." "Like it was when it was brand-spanking new." "It is kind of paradise, Bon Temps." "This little old hick town?" "Why not?" "There's not a hell of a lot to do, for one thing." "So there's less to distract you from just being where you are when you're there." "What about the aggressively ignorant people that live here?" "Who are very loyal clientele." "Listen, they decide they like a place, they stop looking for anywhere else to go." " And they like to drink." " What are you, president of the Jaycees?" "No, I'm just a guy who likes where he lives." "Home sweet home, huh?" "Yeah." "I thought it was." "I don't know, I might be heading off soon." " Where to?" " Someplace probably a lot like this." "You ain't never lived in a city?" "Cities bring out the worst in people." "They lose touch with nature." "It's where they come from." "People do that here too." "Not in the same way." "My fingertips are turning into raisins and I feel like pancakes." "There's a 24-hour truck stop out on l-20 toward Arcadia makes the best sweet potato pancakes." "You know it?" "Do you wanna come with me?" "Well, I'm..." "I just..." "I'm not really that hungry." "Sam, if you're worried about me seeing you naked I have seen boy parts before." "Water ain't exactly opaque." "I promise I'll start looking for my own place as soon as..." "I asked you to move in, not crash for a few days." "You're family." "A limo is picking me up at 5 today, so..." "I'm on my way." " Love you the most." " Love you more." " Who do you love the most?" " Sookie." "What do you have planned today?" "I think I'm gonna be taking off." "You're taking off work?" "Fabulous." "No, I'm gonna go live with Sookie." "I'm very sorry to hear that." "Me being here was always supposed to be temporary." "Everything's temporary, Tara." "I don't really wanna dance right now, okay?" "Of course." "What happened?" "You fit so well here and you seemed to be having so much fun last night." "I think everybody was having a little too much fun last night." "Will you tell Eggs I left?" "Sure." "Oh, I'm gonna miss you." "Thank you so much for everything." "I'm sure you'd do the same for me." "Go, flourish." "And don't every say no to yourself, okay?" "I don't know who Lazarus was but he was not the first vampire." "Everybody knows it was Dracula." "It's in the Bible, moron." "Jesus brought Lazarus back from the dead." "So Jesus made the first vampire?" "Maybe Jesus was the first vampire." "I mean, he rose from the dead too." "And he told people, "Hey, y'all, drink my blood." "It'll give you special powers."" "Jesus never said that." "No, the first vampire was Cain." "Being a vampire is the mark of Cain." "It's God's punishment for bringing the first evil into the world by killing his brother." "No, the first evil was Eve eating the apple." "That's why they call it "evil."" "That wasn't evil." "That was just skirting the rules." "Evil is making the premedicated choice to be a dick." "Jason Stackhouse, please meet Reverend Newlin  outside the administration offices." "Jason Stackhouse." "There's one thing you can count on:" "God will make sure evil gets punished." "Yeah?" "Then explain Europe to me." "Morning." "Ain't she a beauty?" "Let's you and me take a little trip together." " Am I in trouble?" " We're all in trouble, Jason as long as there are vampires in the world." "I still haven't moved into Gran's room, but you take mine and when I get back, we'll celebrate properly." "Until then, happy birthday." "Oh, Sook." "I miss her so much." "I know." "I do too." "So why'd y'all pick Dallas for your trip?" "Bill has some business there." "Oh, hell, do those vampires wanna use your mind reading again?" "I'll have Bill there to protect me." "Why are you even with this guy if he makes you do these things?" "The sex can't be that good." "Oh, it's pretty good." " And I love him." " Well, yeah, but..." "You can't just sit around saving your heart for some perfect idea of a man who's never gonna come along." "Life is too damn short." "Besides, Bill's not making me do anything." "I agreed to this to save your fool cousin, thank you very much." "Lafayette?" " He didn't tell you?" " Tell me what?" "I didn't even know he was back." "Is he okay?" "I heard there's been panther sightings in Natchitoches." "These are too wide for a panther." "I can tell you this:" "There's some nasty poison in that wound." "My guess is it paralyzed her." "And she was alive when they took the heart and that's what killed her." " So it was an animal?" " That did that?" "Definitely." "The chest was carved up with a knife though." "Yeah, I got real clear incisions." "So unless you can think of an animal that can wield a hunting knife..." "We are looking at a human-animal collaboration." "Bud, that doesn't make any sense." "I was making what people with actual senses of humor refer to as a joke." " Oh, I'm sorry." "A black woman is paralyzed and then butchered to death in the town where I live." "I didn't realize that was funny." "Kenya, I wanna ask about the pig I seen in this report you wrote up after Tara's car wreck." "Andy, what are you doing looking through those files?" "Okay, well, I'm going to the gym." "Been spending some time with my shirt off recently." "So you guys lock up after me, okay?" " Did you get a good look at that pig?" " There wasn't any pig." "Tara was so drunk she drove off the road." " She was just making up shit." " Was it brown?" "Because I've seen that pig, in a dollhouse." "Andy, you're drunk." "On the job." "I ain't drunk." "You never had a beer in the middle of the day?" " I'm not an alcoholic." " You're just a dumb, old man who don't know anything about nothing." "That's not cool, Andy." "I know." " I'm sorry, Bud." " I know you are." "But I need to count on you in this job and I can't do that if you're drinking." " Give me your badge." " Hell, no." "No." "I know you in there, even if you won't pick up the phone." "Damn, hooker." "Shit." "How come I have to hear about you from Sookie?" " What else she tell you?" " That you got shot and fed on and chained up in some vampire dungeon." "Sookie need to keep her mouth shut and so do you." "Have you been to the hospital?" "What you think gonna happen if I show up to the ER with a gun wound?" " I don't need the police up in my business." " You need to see a doctor." "For what?" "So they can give me drugs I already got?" "I done left a message on Uncle Cyrus' voicemail." "I'm gonna be okay." "Well, I'm gonna stay here and make sure you're taken care of." " Oh, no, you're not." " It's my birthday." "Hooker, look, I'm not in the partying mood right now, okay?" "You don't have to do anything." "I'll sit and watch TV with you." "Bitch, look, you know I love you, all right?" "I just spent two and a half weeks thinking I'm gonna die at any second." "I ain't got it in me to take care of you tonight, all right?" "If you die, I'm gonna be really pissed." "Well, that makes the two of us." " I thought you was leaving." " Haven't left yet." " You ain't leaving?" " It means I haven't left yet." " So you are leaving?" " I haven't left yet." "Dumb-ass." "Are there any lunch specials?" "I think I got everything I need to make Jailhouse Chili." "Are you sure?" "Because last time, you forgot the corn chips." "Shit!" "Right." "We'll just call whatever this turns out to be Terry's Scramble." "Scrambled Terry's Scramble." "Hush." "I just don't know if I can do it, Sookie." "Do what?" "Run this place when Sam leaves town." "It's too much pressure." " Sam's leaving town?" " Supposed to be this morning." "Sam, were you gonna tell me you were leaving?" "You weren't here." "Where are you going?" "Oh, for Pete's sake, Sam." "I know it seems like I led you on, but cut me some slack." "My grandmother had just been murdered, Rene was after me and I didn't think Bill was coming back." " Sookie, I really don't have time for this." "If you care about our friendship, I suggest you make time for it." "Look, I got serious shit that I'm dealing with right now." "Making you feel better is not high on my list." "Yeah?" "Well, I got serious shit that I'm dealing with too." "And because of some of that shit, I'm gonna need to take off a couple days." "Fine." "I probably won't be here when you get back." "Is that really how you wanna leave things?" "What other way is there?" "I don't know, Sam, but just throwing away years of friendship seems pretty damn stupid to me." " All right!" " Oh, yeah!" " Get ready." "Here we go." " Watch this." "Yeah!" "Mr. Vampire?" "You're gone." "You're gone." "How do you like me now, you scared-ass motherfuckers?" "Sorry." "You are one hell of a shot, boy." "We ought to give you wooden bullets instead of silver." " No." "Silver bullets are way cooler." " Silver bullets won't kill a vampire." "They'll just bring him down so he can be staked." "Shoot a fanger in the heart with a wooden bullet you are staking him right there." "Makes them explode." "So I hear." "No." "They just kind of fall apart." "It's like a water balloon." "What, you've seen it?" "Damn, I'm jealous." "Oh, that's gotta be a sight, watching God's awesome power just obliterate evil right in front of your eyes." "One day." "One day soon." "For young Rafael Cordoba, it was the beginning  of the longest day of his life." "Rafael first ran with the Pamplona bulls the week after he turned 18  following in the footsteps of his older brothers  and had run five consecutive runs without a scratch." " Hello?" " He had no reason to expect  this run would go any differently." " Surprise!" " Surprise!" "Surprise." "Oh, did we scare you?" "Yes." "Oh, my God." "What are y'all...?" "Nobody should spend their birthday alone." "How'd you even know?" " Kitchen?" " Oh, it's through there." "This way, this way." "Hey, what were you crying about?" "I always cry on my birthday." "It's always the worst day." "No matter what I do, I end up crying because my birthday always sucks." "Well, this is the year that changes." "I promise you that." "We had been planning this party for days but you threw a major monkey wrench into things by moving out." "Was that a wedding cake?" "Wedding, birthday, what's the difference?" "It's all about casting off the empty shell of what's dead and embracing the mysteries of what is yet to come." "We are gonna have a wicked good time." "I can feel it in my bones." "I've been on the phone all day calling all your friends." "What friends?" " Hey, honey?" " Yes." " Two Buds, please." " Two beers?" "Is that good?" "We need the day off, so we can have a beer and relax." "All right." "One, two." " Thanks, honey." " It's really good." " Here, cheers." " Cheers." " So how's it going?" "You having fun?" " This is just great." " Do you like country music?" " I can't get enough of it." "Yeah?" "Mostly I listen to..." "My Aunt Louise liked to hunt." " And I'd go hunting with her a bunch." " Really?" "Would you believe that Sarah used to be a vegetarian?" "Yeah." "I know." "Really?" "She told you that?" "I hope you boys are ready for some true Southern decadence." "You don't really eat Sarah's ribs." "It's more like you take a bath in them." " Oh, hang on a sec." " Oh, here, let me." "Well, it's..." " Let's see." " Thank you." " Yummy." " Thank you." "Okay." " Is that good?" " Yes, it feels good." "All right." "So that's nice right there." "That's good." "Steve, I think Jason has the makings of a true soldier of God." " I was just thinking the same thing." " No, I got a long way to go." "Not as long as you might think." "God has chosen you..." " Amen." "...for his most glorious mission." "Praise his light." "We are forming an elite spiritual army called the Soldiers of the Sun and Jason, we need you." "God needs you." "What a blessing." "Okay." "All right." "Another Scotch and Coke." "I'll take care of him." " It's a slow night." " Lucky for you." " I thought you quit drinking." " I thought I did too." "Well, I don't want your sister giving me grief if you wreck her car so I'm cutting you off." "Fuck you, Merlotte." "That's the Scotch talking, otherwise, I might need to say, "Go fuck yourself."" "I ain't even got an office anymore." "Bud took my badge." "Well, you'll get it back when you sober up and you know it." "Now go home." "So my tight-ass sister and even tighter-ass grandmama can look at me like I'm a big loser?" "No, thanks." "No more drinks for Andy." "He's the only one in here." "No one else has come in for over an hour." " Your point?" " Well, let's close up early." " I wanna go to Tara's party." " Tara's having a party?" "Yeah." "At Sookie's." "For her birthday." "You know that real elegant woman Tara's friends with?" "She's throwing it, and I heard she knows how to throw a party." "She sure does, I can tell you that." "Fantastic food." "And I need to ask Tara about a pig." " So can we go?" " Go where?" " Home." " Party at the old Stackhouse place." "Party?" "Well, you can count me in." "I've been working hard enough for one day." "You going?" "I don't think so." "Well, I hope you change your mind." "Hey, Miss Thornton." " Tara here?" " No, she's off today." "Y'all go ahead." "Go ahead, I'll close up." "How is she?" "She's okay." "As far as I can tell." "Y'all ain't together no more?" "No, ma'am." "Good night, Arlene." "Today's Tara's birthday." "Twenty-six years old." "Would you give this to her?" "I don't know who else to ask." "Of course." "Thank you." "Anubis Airlines welcomes you to Dallas  the most vampire-friendly destination in the great state of Texas." "That's me." "I've always loved these." "They're like booze for dolls." "They gave me 10." "You're two hours late." "Supposed to be here before sundown." "We got delayed for takeoff." "Why don't you go in the limo?" "I got the a.c. Cranked." "No, thanks." "I'm fine." "Oh, go on." "There's Cokes in there." "Just get in the goddamn limo, you stupid bitch." "Get your hands off me!" "Make a noise and it'll be your last." "Hey, how the hell does this thing open?" "Somebody help get me out of here." "Help!" "Whose party is it?" "You got any idea?" "Somebody said that black girl who works at Merlotte's." "Oh, yeah, I know who you're talking about." "A present?" "For me?" "I love presents." "It's for Tara, from her mom." "Gift table's in the dining room." "Well, I have to say, I'm impressed by your showing up." "Okay, listen." "Go ahead and turn me but you'll also reveal yourself in the process." "Reveal myself as what?" "As whatever the hell you are." "I don't know what you're doing here, but these are people I care about and I will not stand by if you try and hurt any of them." "Even when they've dumped you or chosen a dead man over you?" "You're really not an alpha, are you?" " Hi." " Hey." "Who are all these people?" " I don't see any other people." " Because you only got eyes for me." "Yeah, you don't like that one bit, do you?" "Seriously, who are all these people?" "And why are they bringing me presents?" "Not that I'm complaining." " I like the way you move." " I love to dance." "I can't even remember the last time I did." "See, that's just wrong." "Anybody that dances like you should dance every fucking day." "Back it up." "Come on." "Yeah." " I like that." " Come here." "Hey." "You need to refill that glass." " Tell me your name." " Leon." "All right, Leon, no one is gonna hurt you." " Would you like to try?" " Could I?" "Here." "Lean in close so you can catch his gaze." "Then just let everything go." "Let yourself be dead." "You feel it?" "You are empty, a vacuum." "Now you can pull his mind into yours." "Everything's gonna be okay." "There's nothing to fear." "Don't you worry about a thing." "It's gonna be all right." "You were very sweet with her." " Sookie, he was sent to abduct you." " You'll be just fine." "Which means somebody knew you were coming." "Who do you think's behind it?" "Vampires?" " Too sloppy." " Just look into my eyes." "Maybe that church." "Bill, they may be crazy, but they're still a church." "They're not gonna kidnap anybody." "Sookie churches have done much, much worse throughout history." " To do is trust me." " Give me a better hand than this." " Lucky you're not playing for money." "What's the dork face about?" "Oh, I'm moving out." "I'm gonna be a Soldier of the Sun." "Really?" "Yep." "You heard of it?" "Of course I've heard of it." "It's why I came here." " I guess you feel pretty special." " Nothing wrong with feeling good when you achieve something." "I guess you wouldn't know." "So you think you were the only one they would choose to promote?" "The only one in this whole camp?" "Hey, it is what it is." "It's 14 other guys, is what it is." "Including me." "Yeah, even four girls." "That's great." "Congratulations." "You gonna bunk at the Newlins' too?" "No." "I get it." "Preacher's wife needs something to play with." " What?" " She wants your hot beef injection, dude." " I can't believe I didn't see it sooner." " That ain't true." "And you shouldn't talk about Sarah that way." "Sarah?" "You work fast." "I ain't working." "She's married." "Go for it." "She's hot." "She ain't like that." "I earned this." "I'm sure you did." "Fuck you." "I have you down for a room with no bed?" "Eric." "No, we need a bed." "Of course." "I do have a light-blockable room with a king-size bed." "It's a suite." "Double-soundproofed." "Oh, with an adjoining room for my..." " What should I call her?" " Isn't there a vampire word?" " Progeny." " Call her your ward." "You have a ward, like Bruce Wayne." "Would you give me your cell phone?" "Thank you, Leon." " Everything's okay." " Yes." "Actually, everything's not okay." "All your worst fears are about to come true." "No." "Unless you scream at the top of your lungs:" "These accommodations are covered by a third party, right?" "Yes, sir." "It's all been taken care of by a Mr. Northman." "Becky Eubanks is a stuck-up whore who let Jayce finger her in the church!" "Jessica!" "She's new." "Good evening, Lafayette." "No." "You can't come in my house unless I invite you, and I ain't nowhere near that crazy." "You have to come out eventually." " I have all the time in the world." " You let me go." "I gave you a very generous gift." "The gift of not killing you." "And I'm here to give you something else." "The healing elixir that is my 1000-year-old blood." "I don't think that's a good idea." "Your leg's already infected." "I can smell it." "You don't get that taken care of, you can lose it." "Why do you want to give me your blood?" " I like you." " Bullshit." "You wanna be able to keep track of me." "Why?" "You obviously mean something to Sookie and what Sookie finds meaningful, I find curious." "You really have no choice, Lafayette." "You know it." "Fuck." "Leon, look at me." "Look at me, Leon." "Everything is going to be okay." "No, it's not." "My worst nightmare is..." "Jessica, what on earth did you do to this man?" "I am on the phone." "Maybe if you put your hand on his shoulder?" "Sometimes touching helps me hear their thoughts better." " Who sent you?" " Fellowship of the Sun." " Are you a member?" " No, they hired me." " Who specifically?" " I'm not sure." "It was over the phone." "Money was put in a locker for me at a Greyhound station." "And they hired you to do what, exactly?" "Abduct a human with the Compton party, bring her to the church." "Do you know my name?" "No, ma'am." "I didn't even know you were gonna be a woman." "All I know is the vampires are using a human to find the vampire Godric." "Do you know where he is?" "No, ma'am, I do not." "You did very well." "I'm sure your employers will be pleased." "Think so?" "Of course." "What could you do?" "We never arrived." "It's not your fault." "Yeah." "Flight never arrived." "No." "We just weren't on it." "I got so nervous for nothing." "You called for Barani?" "You must prepare my cabin for a feast of celebration." "I already have, captain." "I already have." "See for yourself." "That's enough." "Don't get greedy." "You were to call me the minute you arrived." "We were ambushed at the airport." " By whom?" " You know exactly by whom, Eric." "Fellowship of the Sun." "Why didn't you tell me they were involved?" "I didn't know for sure." "Now I do." "You could have shared your suspicions with me." "I could have, but I didn't." "You should remember that I am your sheriff, Bill." "We are not equal." "And if that displeases you, take it up with the magister or the queen." "Get that shit." "Let it go." "Get that shit." "Fuck, get up." "Up, up!" "How's your leg?" "Shit, I just wanna fucking dance." " Hit this." " How nice for you." "Come on, come on, come on." "Well, I must fly." "Bang it, baby." "Bang it, baby." "Bang it, baby." "You getting situated okay?" "Yes." "Thank you, ma'am." "Sure was fun today." "Yeah, it was." "Jason?" " Are you nervous?" " No." "A little." "Why?" "Well, it's just that I ain't never been in a place this nice before." "It's all too much." "Aren't you sweet." "I am so proud of you." "You're welcome." "So proud." "Can I ask you a question?" "Am I the only one staying here in your house?" "We have a special dorm for the soldiers, but it only sleeps 14." "And you're number 15." "Oh, good." "Good." "And you're also the best." "I mean, the one that we have the highest hopes for." "I want to try not to disappoint you." " You do that." " Okay." "And let me know if you need anything because we're just at the end of the hall." "Big double doors." "It's Eric." "You wanted to talk." "This is important." "Meet me in the bar." "Fudge." "I admire you, Bill." "It takes a real vampire to admit he cannot protect his human." "And it takes a true monster to not care about anyone or anything other than himself." " I care about others." "You care about Godric." "You have no obligations to Dallas or Texas." "This is personal for you." "Why?" "I hope you'll enjoy your blood substitute, which is costing me $45." "I have no intention of drinking it." "I want you to pay for it." "Oh, you're so mature." "Answer the question." "Why this allegiance to Godric?" "He's much beloved by his subjects." "Only kings and queens have subjects, Eric, not sheriffs." "Godric could have been king of Texas had he wanted." "He could have been king of any vampire territory anywhere." "He is twice as old as I am and very powerful." "There are none above him in the New World." "Well, if he's so powerful, how could they abduct him?" "Now, that is what worries me." "If one such as he can be taken by humans then none of us is safe." "What can I give you to release Sookie from her agreement?" "Nothing." "And since you like humans so much, I think you would want to protect them." "The vampires here, they're like cowboys." "If they don't get Godric back, they'll want justice." "They'll start attacking people." "Open aggression against humans?" "That's insane." "Well, it's Texas." "That's nice." "Here." "Damn." "I've been wanting to do that since you showed up tonight." "I'm wondering if this is a good idea." "It's a great idea." "You're sweet as hell and adorable and scruffy with that little gray in your hair and that hot little nose." "And, damn, boy, do you know how to wear a pair of pants." "Hey, hey, hey." "What's wrong?" "Listen I need to tell you something." " No, you don't." " Yes." "Yes, I do." "No, you don't." "I know what you are." "Who is it?" "I ordered something." "Is that okay?" "Male, straight, B-negative." "Hi, I'm Travis." "That's for me." "Great, what am I supposed to do?" "I know Bill doesn't want her to do this." "How old is he anyway?" "He looks barely legal." "He's 21." "That's weird." "Almost like he read my mind." "I did read your mind." "Oh, fuck, Barry." "Just smile and act like it's a coincidence." "Keep your stupid mouth shut." "But it's not a coincidence, Barry." "Barry, wait."