"Hello!" "Guys!" "Anyone home?" "I could use a little help" "betty?" "You all right?" "It's okay if you're not." "We have a nurse now." "What?" "Betty,meet elena." "Oh,hi!" "It's nice to meet you." "so nice to meet you,too." "well,we're happy to have you here." "The lady at the medicaid office said you were the best nurse in all of queens." "That's my cousin stella.She exaggerates." "I'm not the best." "Maybe top five." "just two boxes,mija?" "Papi!" "Papi,I will get it done." "It's just gonna take some time." "And besides,I can't really move out of my apartment until I find seone to sublet it,and it's not easy to find someone you trust." "I'll move in with amanda." "No!" "Can wet least talk about it?" "no!" "Well,you better choose carefully." "You don't want a crazy person living in there." "You mean another crazy person?" "See,amanda just bought her dog a watch because she says he's always late." "Oh,elena,I just got this new conditioner in." "Do you like your hair to smell like fruit?" "Mija,you've been taking a long time with this move." "Are you sure you're okay with coming home?" "Yes,I want to be here." "I want to be close to you guys." "And,you know,with all the money I'm saving, it's really gonna help around here." "That's the water for my tea." "No!" "Papi,sit down,please." "Betty,I got it." "You go finish what you gotta do." "Really?" "Okay,well,then I'm just gonna he back into the city 'cause amanda and i are interviewing roommates." "I'll see you tomorrow." "Elena,we're so glad you're here." "Thank you.Bye,papi." "Bye!" "Bye!" "You got great kids." "I do,thank you." "Dameeso." "Okay,here's the deal" "They all worry about me too much." "That's the real reason why you're here." "I,um,don't need any help." "yeah,I can see that." "Oh,I barely use this stuff." "Trust me... this'll be the easiest job you've ever had." "here you go." "hanks." "excuse me!" "Did you just toss your change in the garbage?" "No." "Liar,you totally did." "What?" "It was 7 cents.I hate pennies." "Do you hate nickels,too,rich jerk?" "come on!" "Rich jerk is cute." "How about "R.J." For short?" "Okay,I'm gonna come up with a nickname for you." "I'll let you know what I come up with." "have a seat for a second." "Look,I..." "I don't want there to be any secrets between us." "Tone change." "You're-- you're getting serious?" "Connor has started seeing wilhelmina." "He doesn't know I know." "Are you okay?" "You know what?" "I am." "In fact,I hope they're happy." "So does this mean we can tell connor about you and me?" "We should." "I think I should be the one to tell him." "And I think it should be soon." "Better than him finding out some other way." "I mean,can you imagine how awful it would be if he saw that photo of us on "page six"?" "Darling,great news." "Just got off the phone with graydon." "He got us our favorite table at the waverly inn." "That's great." "Well,they bumped jennifer aniston." "She always cries at that table." "Everything okay?" "You... seem a bit distracted." "No." "Thonly thing distracting me tonight is you." "and that budget report I forgot to review." "Well,you can do it tomorrow." "It's my first meeting of the morning." "And it's getting late." "I've gotta go." "But I-I just made reservations." "I'm sorry,willie." "I tell you what,I'll book a table for tomorrow night." "I'll see you at work." "you're perfect." "And I love what you're wearing." "I'm gonna borrow it tomorrow when you move in,okay?" "uh,just real quick." "It says here you've lived in five different places in two years?" "Yeah,e,we're looking for someone a little bit more stable, but thanks for stopping by." "Couh,okie to go?" "not a problem!" "I like to walk around naked,too." "Yeah,but,see,I own the furniture,and I'm not really down with that." "So... cookie?" "Smile!" "you're perfect." "No,you're not." "You're perfect!" "Cookie?" "she is missing her 2006 tax return." "That's a security risk." "But she is so pretty." "But yet not pretty enough for me to feel threatened by her." "You know what?" "I don't think I'm interested anymore." "Halston,ew." "Ew." "Betty,why are you being so picky?" "Except for tiny-baby-teeth girl,I could've lived with any of these people." "Amanda,my name is still on the lease." "We have to find someone who's responsible,you know, who can pay the rent on time,that sort of thing." "You were always good at boring stuff like that." "Oh,man..." "I am really gonna miss this place." "It's like I had this fantasy of what my life would be like here." "Now it's ending before it even started." "speaking of things that never started... move." "jesse." "I'd bet you'd like to smash that guitar over his bedhead." "No,I don't hate him." "Well,you should.He totally led you on." "Did he?" "I mean,it's not like he knew that I threw that party on the roof just so that his band could play." "And to be fair,I never even told him that I liked him." "So then why have you been acting all weird and avoid-y for the last month?" "I don't know." "You should go talk to him right now." "I can't do that." "Yes,you can." "Well..." "I mean,I guess I should talk to him,you know?" "Just--before I leave,to clear the air." "Totally." "Okay,yeah.Closure." "okay,I gotta run." "Betty,this is very big of you." "And unlike in the past,I mean that as a compliment." "Jesse!" "Betty,hey,how are you?" "Good,good." "why are you practicing in the hallway?" "Well,I just repainted my kitchen." "There was a grease fire gone wild,so... don't ask." "Lots of people coming in and out of yr apartment." "Yeah,we're looking for a subletter." "I'm moving out." "Wha--why?" "Well,my dad had a heart attack,and... oh,my god.Is he okay?" "Y-yeah,he's better now." "And I'm just moving back to help out." "You're such a good person." "Wow,I cannot believe you're leaving." "I feel like we haven't seen each other in forever." "I know." "A-and I was,uh,just thinking,you know,we should talk about-- we definitely need to have a farewell drink." "A drink?" "Sure." "Yeah,I'd invite you to my place,but,you know,fumes...death." "Yeah,well,we can hang in my place if you'd like." "Perfect.Yes." "All right." "Cool." "you can call my mom if you don't believe me." "I went to ballet camp two summers in a row." "Okay,okay,I believe you." "I missed you,betty rocker." "Where you been?" "Well,about that,um... so remember that night on the roof?" "Of course you remember it." "that was kind of an awkward night for me." "what?" "No,no,I think sometimes,you and I,we share a brain." "'Cause I totally--I have a song called "awkward night." "" Oh,you do?" "Let me... it's,like,uh... *it was an awkward night we had that crazy fight *" "* I want to make things right * * gonna call you tonight hello,it's me...* wow,it's like your lips aren't even moving." "Oh,that... yeah,that's my ringtone." "Slow down,betty." "There." "That's you!" "do you have to get that?" "Uh,nope." "It's someone I'm avoiding." "I'm sorry,you-- you were saying something before I interrupted you with that stupid song,so...please." "it's all very embarrassing for me,but before I leave" "I-I hate that you're not gonna be here anymore." "You know,your family is so lucky to have you." "Okay,stop." "No,no,I mean it." "I-I-I-I know I feel better when you're around." "I can't believe iw latet got." "I should--I should" " I gotta get going,so..." "yeah,definitely." "good morning,sunshine." "Amanda... what happened?" "I fell asleep on the couch?" "I guess so." "I'm just getting home myself." "How was your talk with jesse last night?" "it was good." "It was...really good." "Um,we were talking,and,y know,everything was going great,and then... he kissed ." "what?" "Okay." "Where is he?" "How is he?" "What's he packing?" "No,no,he left after we kissed." "Wait,betty,what happened?" "Was it your breath again?" "No,I told him I had to get up early to go to work." "It was all very confusing." "Why?" "You had the kind of date any fourth grader would die for." "Look,thought he didn't like me after all that "mode" after party stuff." "And then he kisses me?" "What is that?" "Okay,squeaky,this one is a toughie." "But before we go any further,we need a male point of view." "Okay,so I couldn't find a male point of view,but I did find marc." "First question-- where did jee kiss you?" "On my couch." "And that's not a euphemism for,uh..." "No!" "Oh,good.Move on." "Is it possible that he was just licking guacamole off our chin?" "You are known to have food situations." "Nope,I wasn't even eating." "Not eating?" "This story is getting more and more preposterous." "Okay,next question-- number of drinks consumed." "three?" "I'm having a little trouble visualizing." "We need to recreate the scene." "The scene of the crime." "Okay,betty,pretend I'm jesse." "Come here and sit on daddy's lap." "No." "Okay,I'll be betty." "Guys,I wasn't sitting on his lap." "hola,jesse." "Hey,betty,I'm such a sensitive singer/songwriter." "I'm awesome." "You wanna watch me... play my guitar?" "I'd rather make out with you." "Well,I have had a few drinks." "Okay." "okay,I've reached a conclusion." "as have I." "If jesse was able to get past all of this... then... maybe there's something between you!" "Agreed." "Really?" "Or he could've just been drunk off his ass." "Agreed." "okay,it's 9:00 A.M.You know what that means." "Yeah,time for my morning nap." "Nope.Your morning walk." "Morning walk?" "It's 30 degrees outside." "Not up for discussion." "What?" "Come on.Get up." "What?" "Elena wants me to go for a walk.Do you realize how cold it is outside?" "30 degrees,mama!" "I just want to take him for a little walk.He needs the fresh air!" "Hey,hey,hey,hey,hey,hey,hey!" "Papi,it's just a walk,right?" "We'll all go!" "Justin,we're going for a walk!" "So jesse kissed you,huh?" "Big wow." "And,I mean,I was trying to close that door,but then he went and opened it all back up." "And that's just gonna make it harder for me to leave my apartment." "What do you thin the kiss meant?" "What,honestly?" "Mm-hmm,yeah,honestly." "Well... in my experice,a drunken kiss is just that... a drunken kiss." "Guys are dogs." "Cold night,warm girl,a couple of drinks... yeah,I get it." "But,you kno maybe... he's not like you." "Maybe he's aice guy." "Sorry.That came out wrong." "I know what you mean." "Look,the only way you're gonna find out is if you ask him." "Well,I guess I can do that." "I'm an adult,and you know what?" "Either way,I'm fine with it." "I'm gonna talk to him." ""To my rich jerk." "" It's from molly." ""rich jerk." "cute." "And... a little insulting?" "No,she's just teasing." "Hey,will you do me a favor?" "I want to nd some flowers to her as a thank-you,but,mm,make sure they're not too nice." "I don't want her to think I'm a rich jerk." "So... things between the two of you,they're good?" "They're going great." "I just really have to figure out the right time to tell-- connor,hey." "Mate,you up for hitting the gym after work?" "Sounds great." "Let's do it,mate." "Was I overly enthusiastic?" "You said "mate." "" dinner for two from the waverly inn has been ordered, dropped off at your place at 8:00 and-- stop.Stay." "Good boy." "Oh,connor." "Connor,I was thinking,um,why don't we order in tonight?" "Tempting." "Um,but I've already made plans with daniel." "I'll see you tomorrow,love." "Ma." "Was I just..." "dissed?" "No,no.Yes." "Something's changed,marc." "Feel him slipping away." "cancel whatever parade you're going to and..." "I need you to find out what the hell is going on here." "go get 'em,boy." "Why don't we go get a beer?" "Maybe just... talk?" "Mate,I know what you want to say." "You've just been looking for the right time to say it." "Well,I-I don't ally know if now is the right time." "All right." "If you don't want to say it,I will." "I've been distracted." "My performance has been suffering,and I'm sorry." "It's molly." "Connor,I know breakups can be really hard... yeah,true,but,uh... it's something I found that's been bothering me." "Look at that." "Uh,what is that?" "It's,um... it's molly in st.Bahs." "And--and look at the hand she's holding." "She's with a man." "Are you sure?" "Well,the fingers are feminine,but it's definitely a man's hand." "Well,they're not feminine." "Um,well-manicured maybe,but not feminine." "Have you figured out who it might--might be?" "No." "No.But she's already vacationing with another man?" "It doesn't feel right." "Mate,ifashe w seeing somebody before we broke up,that would royally... piss me off." "Right." "right." "Do you mind if we stop somewhere on the way?" "Uh,sure." "Where?" "Oh,I just need to check sometng." "uh,I was gonna do this by myself." "Right.Right." "I'll just listen from inside the apartment." "Go get him!" "all right.All right,stay cool." "No drool." "Jesse?" "hello,it's me hel-- hey,it's jesse.Leave a message." "jesse just sent me to voice mail." "He's avoiding me." " Jesse blew you off le that." "That is so rude!" "I know!" "And he is the one who kissed me,not the other way around." "I remember that specifically." "That was not in my head." "I know,and it's not like you called him 20 times today or climbed up his fire escape to look in his window or tapped his phones or sent him flowers." "flowers!" "No,betty,you did not send him flowers." "That is a rookie mistake." "No,no,I promised daniel I would send flowers,and I totally forgot." "It's too late to get 'em delivered." "I'll have to take 'em myself.I'll talk to you later.Bye!" "Uh,what are we doing here?" "that is molly's building." "I want to see if we can get a look at this guy." "Co nnor,this is crazy." "You're spying on your ex?" "I need to know who this bastard is." "Okay,look,I know you're upset,but if molly's moved on,what can you do?" "look,maybe you should start seeing someone." "I could set you up with some great women." "or maybe you're seeing someone?" "Actually,yes." "Wilhelmina." "Look,I'm sorry.I should've told you earlier." "I just didn't want to complicate things at work." "No,no,no,I mean,that's great." "It means,you know,you're--you're moving on." "But what does wilhelmina think about all this?" "Oh,god.She doesn't know." "I'm not an idiot." "what an idiot." "I know." "Parked under a streetlight,completely exposed,untinted windows..." "amateurs." "Not that." "He gave up a romantic evening with me to trade punes with danny meade and hang out in a parked car?" "If it's any comfort,you and connor do share a love of fine dining, capitalism and covert,late-night surveillances." "Yes,yes,yes,yes,but who are they waiting for?" "Hi,uh,jesse,um,it's betty." "But you already know that because you just screened this call and you're avoiding me, which is cool,'cause I don't care." "What's black and white and brown all under?" "Betty?" "oh,boy.It's getting late." "Gettin' pretty tired." "Coffee?" "No,no,I'm--I'm" " I'm--I'm okay." "you know what?" "Uh,actually,I could use that coffee." "There's gotta be a place down at the end of the block." "Sure,yeah." "Ack,cream,sugar?" "That's perfect.Everything." "Great.Yeah.Thanks!" "betty." "Oh,daniel,hey,I forgot to send the flowers, so I thought I would just bring them over." "Sorry,I didn't-- -you have to get out of here." "What?" "Why?" "Well,we're stalng molly." "Well,I'm not.Connor is." "I'm just kinda helping him." "Actually,I'm not really helping him." "You know what?" "It's just a little too complicated right now." "Why would you be stalking molly?" "Look,this--you gotta trust me." "This is not the right time." "You just gotta get out of here." "Please go,now." "Run." "daniel!" "They were all closed." "Flowers?" "Uh,yeah,well,um,the delivery boy tried to drop 'em off at molly's apartment," "so I stopped him and-- -well,who are they from?" "No,no,don't do that." "Don't torture yourself,connor." "Con" ""to molly,from R.J." R.J." "Who's R.J.?" "I don't know." "And what kind of a jerk sends crappy carnations?" "Yeah!" "Well,I mean,carnations aren'.that bad." "Where did that delivery boy go?" "connorhe's gone." "Look,you're with wilhelmina now,and you're happy,right?" "Then what are you doing?" "Well,I have to know." "No,no,no." "If wilhelmina found out what you were doing,how would this make her feel?" "Come on,look." "Buddy,why are you risking your future on the past?" "I don't know." "I don't know." "Let's call it a night,huh?" "ooh,looks like they're leaving." "None of this makes any sense." "molly?" "This is her block." "now it all makes perfect sense." "Wait,so you were on a stakeout with connor who was waiting to find out who molly's new boyfriend is." "Yes." "Who is you." "Right." "Okay,that's just dumb." "Um,why--why can't you tell him the truth?" "Because,betty,it's just not that easy." "Well,it's easier than lying and ending up on a stakeout for yourself." "you know,can I ask you a question?" "Why do guys play games?" "I mean,why are they such cowards?" "Why are they so,you know,brave when they want to kiss you or something, but try to get 'em on the phone and actually talk to you,and... well... okay,um,we're not talking about me and connor anymore." "Sorry." "I tried to talk to jesse,and he ignored me-- wouldn't even answer his door." "Betty,I'm sorry." "Oh,it's just gonna make it that much harder for me to leave my apartment." "Why?" "'Cause there's unfinished business between us." "Betty,are you really sure you want to move back home?" "Of course.I love my family." "No,no,I'm not saying you dot." "It's just that you can't leave when jesse kisses you, you can't leave when he ignores you." "Maybe moving back to queens is harder than you're admitting?" "Well,I guess I" " I had this stupid fantasy... about being in love in the city and... being that girl who hangs out in cafés and has a cute boyfriend and holds his hand and just kisses him right there and then and... and jesse was the guy." "Well,I just thought that when he kissed me that maybe it would happen." "Look,don't think you're gonna get that fantasy with jesse, but at the very least, you have to tell him that nobody treats betty suarez like that." "That's how you close the door." "How?" "He won't answer my calls." "Well,I seem to recall you did stalk him once." "Go find him." "hello." "You wanted to see me?" "Look,uh,I know you're ill hung up on molly." "Don't bother denying it." "I learnt that molly is seeing someone, and,yes,it bothered me." "But I've moved on." "Have you?" "It's over." "You can say that.You might even believe it." "But deep down,I know you're just like me." "You don't want to lose." "Willie-- -connor,I want you-- all of you or nothing." "Wilhelmina slater does not play second fiddle to anyone." "And she doesn't beg... for anyone." "excuse me,I-I was cooking." "Not with that much butter you're not." "That's half the amount I used to use." "That's still half too much." "try again." "Look,I've been good all week-- drinking your protein shakes, snacking on your carrot sticks." "I just want to make a spanish omelet." "You can still make your spanish omelet." "All right." "Just no butter,no salt,no yolk." "You take all that away,what is left?" "A healthy meal." "Okay,that's enough." "This is my house." "I set the rules." "If I want to make myself a meal,I'm damn well gonna do it." "hello." "Hey,connor." "I just wanted to say thanks for talking me down from the ledge last night." "Oh,come on,it's no problem." "You know what?" "why don't we get that beer tonight?" "How about we hit the gym first?" "Sure,yep,that sounds great." "Okay,then." "* and I think I'm fallin' for her and you * n I help you?" "I'm here to talk to jesse." "Oh,yeah,isn't he the best?" "It's,like,his songs,like,capture exactly what's going on in my mind." "It's crazy." "You know what else is crazy?" "He can't answer his cell phone,'cause he's a gutless,pathetic weasel." "Excuse me." "We need to talk." "********* what?" "I'm sorry I've been avoiding you." "I just--I'm a horrible,terrible person." "No." "You're not--you're not horrible and terrible." "I mean,maybe one of those things." "Well,I was gonna come find you tonight." "I... betty,I don't know what happened." "I mean,I had so much fun hanging out with you." "And then when we kissed,everything got confusing." "Yeah,for me,too." "Let me make it up to you." "Do you--do you want to go out?" "What?" "What--what do you mean?" "I mean a date." "Or we could have dinner." "Here.Tonight." "You know,I know you probably hate me, and I totally understand if you say no, but I just--I wanna spend some time with you." "I don't know." "Oh,come on." "it'll be fun,it'll be great come out with me on a date that's terrible,right?" "If you don't say yes,I'm gonna have to sing another verse." "it'll be fun,it'll be great-- -okay,okay,okay." "Yes,fine,I will go on a date with you." "Okay.Awesome.All right." "I gotta get back to work." "okay,do not order anything over $15,or you have to do anything jesse says." "It used to be more,but we are in a recession." "So what's going on with the roommate sitch?" "I vote for carl.He says he can bounce his pecs." "Ooh,that could come in handy." "Guys,you can't just rush into these things,you know?" "Look,if worse comes to worse,I'll just stay here a little longer." "But won't your family mind?" "They'll understand." "Okay,I'm ready for my date." "Interesting.Now... how can you tell?" "You can't tell?" "Unless there's anything else,I'm heading out." "How long is this silent treatment gonna last?" "I discovered talking to you raises my blood pressure." "I don't want to have another heart attack." "I'm sorry,did you just say that I'm gonna cause you another heart attack?" "Me?" "Not your horrible diet,not your sedentary lifestyle?" "Me?" "Ela,you can't come into my home and start changing all the rules." "No,no,no... you may have set the rules here for the last 20 years, but you know what's really gonna help your family?" "If you're not dead in two." "Please." "No,this isn't about eating healthy food or getting some exercise." "It's about the people who love you and will do anythingfor you." "You think they like going for walks in 30-degree weather?" "You think they like fat-free nacho night?" "They don'T.They do it f you." "And look at how you repay them." "I love my family." "They're all I could think about when I was sick." "Then think about this." "You almost died." "I've seen this before." "You're a lovely man,ignacio,with a wderful family." "What if next time you're not so lucky?" "I've never eaten here before." "It's a cute place." "You gotta try the meat loaf." "Promise me that you will try the meat loaf." "okay,yeah." "So,uh,how was your week?" "Probably the worst ever." "First,I write a song,and I realize I basically ripped off "closing time." "" And then my drummer announces at practice that he's gonna move to prague." "And now I-I think we have to change the band name because "journey" could be copyrighted." "So "dark sexual journey" becomes..." ""dark sexual." "It's awful." "Oh,well,that's not so bad." "You know,actually,it reminds me of this "mode" headline that we had-- -headline!" "Oh,I forgot to tell you the worst thing." "So we were supposed to headline this show, and-- let me start from the beginning." "There's this little club in brooklyn,and I know the manager." "So he tells me that they need a house band for thursday nights... connor,I am so glad you're more relaxed." "getting there." "so where did you go on holidays?" "Willie and I are thinking about traveling this spring." " Uh,anguilla." " Nice." "what have you been up to lately?" "You been dating anyone recently?" "No,just,you know,kinda too busy with work." "hold on." "Wait a second." "I wanna just... take a break and talk,okay?" "sorry about that,R.J." "you know,it wasn't that hard to put the pieces together." "Rich Jerk" "To Molly, From RJ" "Connor,I-- you were my friend,daniel, and you lied to my face." "***** And I walk offstage, and I realize my fly had been down the whole time." "Can you believe that happened to me?" "Yeah,wow,a lot has happened to you." "Actually--yeah." "Actually,I wrote a song about all that." "I'm--I'm not finished,but the chorus goes... * headache,heartache depression,rejection * * if there's one thing I can count on *" "* yeah, it's me,me,me,me me,e,me,me me,me,me,me,me * * not you,just me yes,me,not you *" "* what rhymes with me?" "*" "* I know,it's me * * yours truly,me,myself and I * * if there's one thing I can count on * * yeah,yeah,it's me *" "you know what I realed tonight,betty?" "You're really good for me." " I am?" " Yeah,you're-- you're smart,you're a good listener." "I'm just really glad we did this." "I feel so much better." "That's good,'cause,you know,I think... that's probably what this was all about-- making yourself feel better." " What?" "No--no,no-- - and that's okay." "It's fine,because you know what?" "I think maybe..." "I kinda used you,too, for some fantasy I had." "But I-I don't think this is what either one of us want." "But thank you,jesse,for everything, for--for the drinks and the dinner." "Bye." "more ice?" "No,actually,it... starting to feel better." "Oh." "But not looking better?" "I'll get more ice." "So..." " your big move is today?" " Yep." "I can't say that I'm looking forward to fighting for hot water, but I'm okay with it." "You know,it's the right thing to do." "And besides,it's not like this city's going anywhere,right?" "I'll be back." "And you're okay with having to give up your whole manhattan fantasy?" "I'm not giving it up." "Just... taking it with me." "niel?" " Oh,excuse me." " No,it's okay,betty." "I just wanted to check with daniel, make sure we're still on for our budget meeting tonight." "yep,sure." "Listen,connor... we need to talk." "I said everything I needed to in the ring." "We're good." "I'll see you tonight." "Seems like things between the two of you won't be as hard as you thought." "No,I guess not." "yeah,well,I don't know." "Uh,I'll" " I'll call you back." "you were right." "I hate to lose." "And the thought of molly with another man... drives me crazy." "I see." "But the thought of losing you is unbeablE." "So I'm putting all that behind me." "I'm all yours... that is,if you'll still have me." "Do you want me to beg?" "Because i will beg." "Well... maybe after... dinner?" "hello?" "good morning." "In the dining room!" "Hi!" "Take your coat off,stay awhile." "Well..." " look,I'm not sure your father-- - who wants breakfast?" " Hello." " Hello." "Omelet?" "No butter,no salt,no yolks." "I know." "Can you believe it?" "Here,take a seat." "He made smoothies,too." "Thank you... for being so honest with me." "Sorry I've been such A... sourpuss." "Un idiota." "It's okay." "I'm glad to help." "And maybe after,uh,breakfast... we can take another walk?" "okay..." "I guess I'm off." "Okay." "Oh,I'll miss you." "You'll see me at work." "Yeah,but I probably won't be as nice." "Probably not." "hey,so about the roommate thing," "I'm sorry that I've been dragging my feet." "I just wasn't ready to go." "But the good news is I have found you a roommate." "someone who is responsible, has a stable job and good references." "Hmm,sounds great." "Well,actually,it is great because... your new roommate is..." " ta-da!" " Ta-da!" "Okay,I let you do that once." "From now on,I orchestrate my own entrances." "Marky-marc!" "oh,my god!" "Wait,what about your place?" "Oh,they raised my rent again." "Plus,jake gyllenhaal runs shirtless in the park across the street." " I know." " Take that,restraining order!" "Um,the rent is due on the 15th of every month." "I didn't know about the nosy landlady." "okay,I want to change everything,and I mean everything!" "I am talking "extreme makeover:" "Homo edition."" "Yes.We have to get rid of a lot of betty's stuff." "A lot of this stuff." "I mean,did she forget to pack things?" "Let's make a pile." "You know what?" "I think she's in love with that guy with long hair." "the city's beautif at night...isn't it?" "Yeah." "It really is." "hello!"