"* Here, there, everywhere" "* A craze of love Is in the air *" "* And I fall" "* Mmm, day and night for" "* So many girls In every port *" "* You've got to be A juggernaut *" "* Full speed ahead, Or you'll be caught *" "* Oh, yeah" "* Oh, yeah" "* Easy come" "* Easy go" "* Up down, all around" "* Kiss for kiss And pound for pound *" "* Delicious" "* Mmm, so nutritious" "* Easy come, Easy go *" "* Sailor, beware, Take it slow *" "* Easy come, easy go" "* All right" "Uh-huh." "* When you want love To keep you warm *" "* There's nothin' Like a uniform *" "* You got a port In any storm *" "* There she blows" "* Easy come" "* Easy go" "* Look down, all around" "* Kiss for kiss And pound for pound *" "* Delicious" "* Mmm, so nutritious" "* Easy come, Easy go *" "* Sailor, beware" "* Take it slow" "* Easy come, easy go" "* Sailor, beware, Take it slow *" "* Easy come, easy go" "* Easy come * Easy come" "* Easy go * Easy go" "* Easy come * Easy come" "* Easy go * Easy go" "* Easy come * Easy come" "* Easy go * Easy go" "Hey, what do you suppose she's trying to tell us?" "I don't know, but whatever it is, I'm listening." "Hey, Teddy!" "Judd!" "How are you, old buddy?" "Great." "It's nice of you to go to all this trouble." "Dancing girl, a band playing." "It's quite a reception." "Well, it would've been better if you told me you were coming." "Now, how long you gonna be in town?" "Oh, just a few days." "Our ship's in the bay." "You, uh, you still deactivating those floating mines?" "Yeah." "That's like playing underwater Russian roulette." "Do you expect to be a frogman all your life?" "Frogman?" "Please." "It's explosive- ordnance-disposal man." "And the answer to your question is no." "What does that mean?" "I'm practically a civilian." "Hey, that's great, man." "Well, what are you gonna do?" "Anything but go back in this racket with you." "Oh, now, wait a minute, all right." "We didn't make much money, but we turned out some of the most beautiful sounds you ever heard." "Now, what do you say?" "Thanks, but no, thanks." "I want you to meet my buddies." "Ensigns Tompkins and Whitehead," "Lieutenant Schwartz." "This is Judd." "Hi, fellas." "How are you?" "I want you to meet the band." "Hey, guys!" "I want you to" "Are you the same guys that were here yesterday?" "You forgot the organ grinder." "Oh, no, no, no." "She doesn't swing." "She just likes to dance." "She comes down to rehearsals because she figures it's good exercise--yoga." "You could still introduce us." "Yeah, we haven't seen anything like that since we shipped out." "How long you been out to sea?" "3 days." "3 whole days?" "Hey, Jo, come here a minute." "Come here." "I want you to meet a good friend of mine." "Lieutenant Ted Jackson and his outfield." "Tompkins, Whitehead, and Schwartz." "Hi." "I'm Schwartz." "And you are the living end." "Ah, thank you." "You got to watch out for him." "He's a real recruiter." "And not just for the Navy." "Mm, thanks for the warning." "But take me." "I'm an underwater barnacle scraper." "Relatively harmless." "I think I'd feel safer with Schwartz, but I'll let you know if I ever have any barnacles that need scraping." "See you around, fellas." "Did you hear that?" "Safer with Schwartz." "If that gets around, it'll ruin my reputation." "You were right, Judd." "She doesn't swing, not for me, anyway." "Well, there are other numbers on the wheel of fortune, pal." "You still got the thing with the phone numbers on it?" "You kiddin'?" "When it comes to women," "I always leave it to lady luck." "Well, come on, Judd." "Break it out for my friends." "Well, now, wait a minute." "I don't know." "I just added some new blood." "Be a sport." "We've been out of touch." "It's the least you can do for an old partner." "Well, all right, but I wouldn't do this for anybody else." "Come on, you guys." "All right, fellas, break it up." "They want to see the wheel." "Wait till you see it." "You won't believe it." "You guys ready?" "Yeah, we have been." "Ok, are the doors locked?" "Here we go." "It's a wheel!" "With girls!" "Wait a minute." "Hold it, now, hold it." "Phone numbers!" "Back up, step down, and stand aside and let the man tell you all about it." "Ok, boys!" "* Step right up" "* To the love machine" "* You may get lucky" "* Win yourself a dream" "* Let the wheel Go round *" "* Round and round" "* Well, you may win That girl *" "* You never found" "* She may be Suzy" "* Or Mabeline" "* She could be Cathy" "* Or Angeline" "* Now let the wheel Go round *" "* Round and round And round and round *" "* Round and round" "* Round and round And round and round *" "* Try your luck Right now *" "* On the love Machine *" "* We're just a bunch Of salty sailors *" "* With one thing On our minds *" "* Takin' a chance On this machine *" "* Maybe love we'll find" "* She may be tall, She may be short *" "* She may be wide" "* But, lady luck, Stop that wheel *" "* On 38-24-35" "* Step up" "* Who's next in line" "* For this love machine?" "* Don't waste no time" "* Let the wheel go round" "* Round and round And round and round *" "* Round and round" "* Round and round And round and round *" "* What will your fortune be On the love machine?" "*" "All right." "* We're just a bunch Of salty sailors *" "* With one thing On our minds *" "* Takin' a chance On this machine *" "* Maybe love we'll find" "* She may be tall, She may be short *" "* She may be wide" "* But, lady luck, Stop that wheel *" "* On 38-24-35" "* Step up" "* Next in line" "* This love machine" "* Don't waste no time" "* And let the wheel Go round *" "* Round and round And round and round *" "* Round and round" "* Round and round And round and round *" "* What will your fortune be On the love machine?" "*" "* Hmm" "* What will your fortune be On the love machine?" "*" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Do you suppose I could have another" "Aw, no, no, no." "Wait a minute." "Only one to a customer." "That's all." "One." "No, no." "Good morning, gentlemen." "Oh, it's a beautiful morning." "What's so beautiful about it?" "Don't tell me you picked a winner last night." "A winner?" "This girl was the grea" "I mean, she was so-- well, she was absolutely... a dog." "Yeah, struck out, too, eh?" "What I thought was her phone number turned out to be her statistics" "11-42-16." "Yeah, I think Judd's wheel is rigged." "My girl was 38-24-38." "What's wrong with that?" "It added up to her age." "Now, that's the way to go to sea." "Small craft approaching off the port bow, sir." "Very well." "Steady as you go." "Steady as you go." "All engines back full." "All engines back full." "All engines back full, aye, sir." "Sound short blasts." "Say, lady, that was a dangerous thing to do." "Your boat's bigger than mine." "You have to watch out for me." "Well, you got to admit, she's got a logical mind." "And a fantastic body." "1, 2, 3." "Too bad, Marty." "Your girl didn't show up." "Hey, there's a guy onboard." "Yeah, and I wish it was me." "If I could live like that," "I'd give this Navy up tomorrow." "You are giving it up, remember?" "No." "They're giving me up." "My tour of duty is over." "Not yet." "Going-away gift from the skipper." "It's an E.O.D. assignment." "Where is it?" "Coast guard picked up a sonar contact near Rocky Point." "They think it's a mine." "Mine?" "In these waters?" "Better suit up." "We'll be there in a half hour." "Tell Cooper to break out the aluminum tanks." "See you later, fellas." "It's an old magnetic mine, all right." "Foreign." "I think we should take it back to the base." "Probably dropped off a sub." "We'd better disarm it underwater." "Ok, lieutenant, but don't take any unnecessary chances." "That hazardous-duty pay won't do you much good if you're not around to collect it." "Thanks, Cooper." "I'll keep that in mind." "I'll pull on my marker buoy when it's safe and I'm coming up." "You clear out of the area." "Lieutenant, I'm supposed to stay here with you." "Better get going." "This is where he was dropped off." "Wonder why they went off and left him." "Maybe they don't like him." "Must be something dangerous down there." "Nah." "What could be dangerous down there?" "Well, why don't you go down and find out?" "Get that boat out of here." "Ok!" "Go on, Gil, you can go overboard without them seeing you, and then I'll circle around and pick you up later." "Come on, look, you can't fool around with the Navy." "It wouldn't be the first time." "Get that boat out of here!" "This is a restricted area!" "All right!" "Go on, Gil." "What's the matter, are you scared?" "No, I'm not, but why should I get wet just to satisfy your curiosity?" "Are you afraid of mussing your hair?" "I'll bring back a picture of that frogman for your collection." "Ohh." "Get that boat out of here!" "You heard me!" "Get it out of here!" "Where's that Navy boat?" "Over there heading towards us." "Let's get out of here." "Hey, look!" "Hey, give me a hand." "Ok, there were radio warnings." "This area was restricted." "What's the big idea?" "Oh, I never listen to the radio." "Too many commercials." "Vicki, Mary, give me a hand." "You trying to tell me that you're the skipper?" "Well, I give the orders, if that's what you mean." "Is the mine safe now?" "Well, I'm not worried about the mine." "I'm worried about you." "Did you order him to take my picture?" "That stunt can get you in a lot of trouble." "Look, that's all it was--just a stunt." "We're not enemy spies or anything so romantic." "Just old friends out for a few laughs." "You can understand that." "Oh, I understand." "I saw you earlier." "Give me that film." "Give it to him, Gil." "Well, now that we're friends, how about a martini?" "You sure know how to hurt a guy, don't you?" "Thanks, but some other time when I'm not working." "Hey, Cooper, catch." "Hold it steady." "See you around, folks." "Too bad we didn't get to keep his picture." "Yeah, too bad." "Ohh." "Say, Cooper, what would happen if you found something of value while on duty?" "Why?" "What'd you find, lieutenant?" "I found a million dollars in gold on an old shipwreck." "Sure you did." "Well, I can dream, can't I?" "Really, what would happen if you did find something?" "I think it belongs to the Navy if you tell them about it, but I'm not sure if that includes girls." "All hands, man the air valves!" "Start the compressors!" "Lower away!" "Steady as she goes." "Careful now." "Don't foul my air line." "That's it." "You're doing fine, boys." "Let her down easy." "We're nearing the bottom." "Take it easy, everybody." "Steady, steady." "Eureka!" "We've hit the bottom!" "Ahoy!" "Oh, it's beautiful down here." "The fish are just sailing by." "Some of the species I've never seen before." "And the atmosphere is perfectly wonderful." "It's beautiful down here." "Positively beautiful." "Don't foul that air line." "Steady, boys, steady." "Come in." "Captain Jack?" "Yeah, I'm Captain Jack." "Sorry." "I couldn't wait until you surfaced to talk with you." "I, uh, I didn't know anyone was watching." "That's quite a gadget." "Yes, yes, indeed." "I get a great deal of enjoyment out of this." "At the moment, I'm quite embarrassed." "I've never done this in public before." "You're not gonna dive in that, are you?" "Oh, no, no." "I wouldn't have the nerve to actually dive." "But I'd like to, so I pretend." "It's just a little game." "I try to do everything as realistic as possible." "Would you help me off with that back there?" "Certainly." "Aren't you in the wrong business?" "No, no, certainly not." "I've been collecting information on salvaging for 20 years." "I'm really quite an authority, you know." "That's why I'm here." "I've been asking around, and I heard that you were the man to see." "Yes, sir." "I am definitely the man to see." "About what?" "I want to know about a ship that went down off the point around the turn of the century." "You have indeed come to the right man." "Great many ships went down in these rough waters, as you can see from this geodetic survey map." "It's upside down, captain." "You are very observant." "The Sicilian-- 1906, the Gauntlet in 1880" "I'm interested in a ship named the Port of Call." "Port of Call?" "There she is." "A beautiful brigantine." "I knew the skipper's son very, very well." "There she is." "Like a Sleeping Beauty waiting for her Prince Charming." "Mm-hmm." "Of course, the map could be wrong." "The location is a theory based entirely on old lighthouse records." "Do you know where these records are?" "Yes." "The skipper's only living relative Jo Symington has them." "Where can I find this Symington?" "In a big old house at the end of Silver Canyon." "Name is on the mailbox." "You can't miss it." "One last thing, captain." "Have you got any idea what the ship was carrying when she went down?" "Oh, yes." "Jo told me." "Come on down here." "Shh shh shh." "The Port of Call was carrying something very valuable from the Argentine." "A treasure." "Yeah?" "Or was it bananas?" "No." "No." "That was the Gauntlet." "I remember it now." "The Port of Call had a cargo of... coconut oil." "Coconut oil?" "Or perhaps it was tea." "I think I better see this Joe Symington." "Yeah, I think you'd better." "Thanks a lot, captain." "You've been a great help." "Oh, it's perfectly all right." "Anything for the Navy." "Thank you, sir." "Oh, just a minute." "Uh, you're not gonna tell anybody anything about my little diving game, are you?" "No." "I won't talk if you won't." "Oh, I won't." "I don't want it to get around that I'm asking about the Port of Call." "Top secret." "So keep it under your helmet, all right?" "Mum's the world." "Double mum." "Yeah." "Thanks." "Now from the lotus, we serenely flow into the attitude of the dancing Shiva." "Develop our equilibrium." "Oh, uh, yes." "Yes." "Now breathe in... and breathe out." "I'm looking for Joe Symington." "Go away." "This is for members only." "How do I join?" "You can start by taking your clothes off." "What?" "Just a minute." "Now take your clothes off and put these on." "Where?" "Right around the corner, and be very quiet." "Breathe in... and out." "Now exhale." "More." "Get it all out." "More." "And once more the dancing Shiva." "I'd like to talk to, uh" "Shh." "I'd like to talk to Joe Symington." "You can't until yoga class is over." "I haven't got time." "Come on, make the scene or split." "Dig?" "I don't know anything about yoga." "Who does?" "Uh, excuse me, uh" "Young man, you are causing ripples on the waters of peace and contentment." "I didn't mean to make waves, but I'm looking for somebody." "We are all searching for someone, yearning to communicate across a void of spiritual isolation." "Now, what we are concerned with here are the means." "And now, young man, either shape up or ship out." "If you'll just" "Sit down!" "Yes, sir." "Uh, ma'am." "What do you know?" "The barnacle scraper." "Hi." "We will now once more attempt to attain that state of tranquillity before we were so rudely interrupted." "I'm sorry." "And now the spinal twist." "The spinal twist." "Now hold and meditate." "Uhh." "Not that way." "Arch your back and lock your arm around your knee." "Like this." "Maybe I better just ship out." "Well, you are in the Navy, aren't you?" "I may be 4F after this." "Well, good." "You can go back to work for Judd." "He likes offbeat talent." "I can see that." "My picture and numbers aren't on his wheel of fortune, if that's what you mean." "Now back to the lotus." "Who are you looking for?" "Joe Symington." "Do you know him?" "He's me." "What?" "Josephine." "You're Jo Symington?" "Dear man, I have tried very hard to be patient with you, but if you continue to disrupt my class with your chattering," "I shall be forced to clobber you on the cruller!" "Can we go someplace and talk?" "Sure." "Come on." "* Well, I can see that you And yoga *" "* Will never do" "* Yoga is as yoga does" "* There's no in-between" "* You're either with it, On the ball *" "* Or you've blown The scene *" "* I can see, Looking at you *" "* You just Can't get settled *" "* How can I even move" "* Twisted like a pretzel?" "* Yoga is as yoga does" "* There's no in-between" "* You're either with it All the way *" "* Or you've blown The scene *" "* Or you've blown The scene *" "* Come on, come on, Untwist my legs *" "* Pull my arms a lot" "* How did I Get so tied up *" "* In this yoga knot?" "* You tell me just how I" "* Can take this yoga Serious *" "* When all it ever Gives to me *" "* Is a pain In my posterius?" "*" "* Yoga is as yoga does" "* There's no in-between" "* You're either with it All the way *" "* Or you've blown The scene *" "* Or you've blown The scene *" "* Stand upside down, On your head *" "* Feet against the wall" "* A simple yoga exercise" "* Done by one and all" "* Now cross your eyes And hold your breath *" "* Look just like a clown" "* Yoga's sure to catch you" "* If you come falling' down" "* Yoga is as yoga does" "* There's no in-between" "* You're either with it All the way *" "* Or you've blown The scene *" "* Or you've blown The scene *" "Beautiful!" "That really grooves." "Man, that turns me on." "It's a form of art." "It's called a "happening."" "Looks more like a smashup in an Italian restaurant." "It's too much." "Crazy." "What's that?" "Watch." "What's going on?" "Some kind of new group therapy?" "No." "We're just a bunch of people who like to live a free life." "Artists and sculptors, they come here because it's remote and it's beautiful, a perfect place to be alone and" "Paint with spaghetti and girls." "People always make fun of things they don't understand." "It's human nature." "Oh, I understand spaghetti." "I even eat it." "I just don't understand it as a shampoo." "I'll admit some of the work they do is pretty wild, but it's a sincere attempt to break loose from convention." "They're doing that, all right." "But you haven't told me what brings you here." "I'm doing a manual on early sea disasters." "I was told you might be able to help me." "Who told you?" "Captain Jack." "That old phony." "He can't keep anything to himself." "I'm interested in one ship in particular-- the Port of Call." "You aren't the first one." "I've had hundreds of get-rich-quick creeps asking about my grandfather's ship." "Come on." "This is more like I expected." "This was my father's room." "It's the only one I haven't redecorated I nearly far-out." "It's beautiful." "Thank you." "Well, what would you like to know?" "Captain Jack says you have some lighthouse records." "That's right." "It was the lighthouse keeper who saw the Port of Call go down." "That's how we know where she is." "Why are fortune hunters after the ship?" "Coconut oil would be pretty rank after all this time." "Coconut oil?" "The Port of Call was carrying coffee... and a chest filled with Spanish pieces of eight." "Well, there are a lot of rumors about old ships and sunken treasure." "I'm afraid I'd be more interested in historical fact." "Oh, this isn't just a rumor." "It's true." "It says so right here on the manifest." "I got it from the shipping company." "Hmm." "Interesting." "Very interesting." "I'm glad you're interested in history and not money." "I don't know how to thank you." "You've been an awful lot of help." "Just let me read the manual when you finish writing it." "Sure." "You'll be the first one." "And come back anytime." "Next week, we're having a real bash-up here." "Bring your own spaghetti?" "Next week, it's cold beet borscht with sour cream." "I'll try to make it." "Thanks again." "Well, is it official?" "Yup." "Congratulations, civilian." "Thank you." "Let's go." "Jo told you all that?" "She showed me the manifest." "It has the exact description of the chest I saw in the wreck." "Listen, baby, that's an awful lot of strain just for a bunch of old pesos." "Judd, those old pesos are probably solid silver and worth about $30 apiece to a collector." "There may be thousands of them in that chest." "All right, so it's a lot of bread, but it's still gamble time." "Look, life's a gamble." "I'm willing to put up every dime of my terminal leave pay-- a thousand bucks." "You should put up at least the same to help pay for the boat and equipment." "You sure you just weren't high on rapture of the deep?" "I might have been, if the ship was where the map said it went down, but the tide must have broken it up and carried this section of hull into shallower water." "I don't know." "That underwater jazz." "All them things with the big eyes and jellyfish." "Look, all you have to do is handle the boat while I'm down below." "What do you say?" "Your half will set you up solid for life." "My half?" "Well, what about Jo?" "After all, it's her grandfather's boat." "It's not a job for a girl, but we do need to hire another guy to handle the winches and the compressor." "Now, what do you say?" "You with me, or do I have to get 2 other guys?" "All right." "All right, I'll go along." "One condition." "What's that?" "If we blow it, you come back here, work at your old salary." "You used to pay me off in warm beer." "I'll throw in an ice cube." "It's a lousy deal, but I accept." "A lousy--for who?" "How do I know if you can still turn that crowd on?" "Give me an intro." "You're on, buddy." "Ladies and gentlemen, I have a nice surprise for you." "An old friend of mine, as a matter of fact, my ex-partner, just out of the service and a fine singer, will favor us with a tune." "So how about a nice round of applause for Ted Jackson?" "Ok, Ted, what are you gonna sing?" "Stop!" "You're wrong again!" "And a-1 and a-2 and a-3 and a-4 and the spot." "* Baby, you've been Lying to me *" "* Now I'm onto you" "* It's the same old song" "* But it doesn't ring true" "* That's right" "* You're wrong again" "* Time to change and put You on your own again *" "* You've" "* Had your way too long" "* Time for me to be Moving on *" "* You got to stop" "* You're wrong again" "* Stop" "* That song again" "* You've been stepping out" "* Out and fancy-free" "* Now you've had your fun" "* And you're running Back to me *" "* It just can't be If there's no harmony *" "* Then stop" "* That's all" "* Let's break it up" "* You had me fooled, Now I'm waking up *" "* I see right through Your lie *" "* You made me Open my eyes *" "* You got to stop" "* You're wrong again" "* Stop" "* That song again" "* It's too late now" "* I've made up my mind" "* Being here with you was Just a waste of time *" "* Nothing to say, So I'll be on my way *" "* Stop" "* You got to stop" "* You're wrong again" "* Stop" "* That song again" "* It's too late now" "* I've made up my mind" "* Being here with you" "* Was just a waste of time" "* It just can't be If there's no harmony *" "* Then stop" "* Stop" "* You're wrong again" "* Stop" "* That song again" "* Stop" "* You're wrong again" "* You got to stop" "* That song again" "* Stop" "Hey, baby!" "All right!" "We're gonna do a little dancing now!" "Hi." "Hi." "Oh, don't tell me this is in the line of duty." "Not to the Navy." "Sit down." "Thank you." "Didn't recognize you with your clothes on." "Hmm." "I wasn't sure it was you either without your photographer." "I'm Dina Bishop." "Miss Dina Bishop." "Ted Jackson." "Mr. Ted Jackson." "I keep forgetting that you can call a naval officer "mister."" "I'm not exactly in the Navy anymore." "Oh?" "I hope my little stunt didn't get you fired." "That had nothing to do with it." "I'm just not on active duty." "Well, great." "That means you'll be around her more often." "All the time." "Would I still be hurting a guy if I offered to buy him a martini?" "I think I could stand the pain." "Look, the Navy paid me to take risks." "What makes you stick your neck out?" "I collect excitement the way most people collect stamps or butterflies." "I prefer people." "Oh, so do I-- exciting ones." "Cheers." "Cheers." "Well, if it isn't the minesweeper." "No pictures, please." "Come on, Dina." "Let's get out of here." "I'm not through with my drink yet." "I'll buy you a drink someplace else." "Come on." "I said later, Gil." "She said later, Gil." "You stay out of it, frogman, or I'll do more than just take your picture." "What'd you have in mind?" "What'd you do that for?" "Oh, I just can't stand seeing grown men fight, unless it's over me." "And besides, it's time to go home, and I promised you'd drive me." "Who'd you promise?" "Me." "Come on." "Let's go." "She saved him from getting his teeth knocked out." "She saved somebody." "Hold it." "Thank you." "You know, I can't decide if I like you better in uniform or out." "You worry about how your Christmas gifts are wrapped?" "It's what's inside that counts." "We're a little early for Christmas, aren't we?" "Don't you be a last-minute shopper." "Uh, by the way, whatever happened to that manual you started to write?" "Oh, I gave it up with my active status." "Always use your shoes for a purse?" "Well, it's better than wearing them." "I mean, they're just another hang up of the modern world." "And besides, I like the feel of things against my feet." "Wet sand and grass." "Even carpeting." "It's as though my fingers can't feel enough, and they need my toes to help." "You know something?" "We have more in common than I thought." "What are you going to do now?" "Right now?" "No, I mean, now that the Navy doesn't take all of your time." "I'd rather talk about what we're gonna do." "Well, I don't know about you, but I'm gonna stand on my head." "Stand on your head?" "Uh... don't you think you're taking this yoga thing a little too far?" "It helps me relax." "Would you like to join me?" "No, I think I'll sit this one out." "No guts, huh?" "What are you doing tomorrow?" "What do you have in mind?" "I just thought you might like to join our poetry reading." "Well, uh, I'm gonna be pretty busy for the next couple of days, planning for the future and everything." "How long do you keep this up?" "3 or 4 hours-- till I get sleepy." "3 or 4 hours." "Well, I wouldn't want to keep you awake." "Good night." "Good night." "Thanks for bringing me home." "Any time." "This is the most exciting morning of my life." "I'm actually going for a real treasure." "I've dreamed of this for years." "And you'll have really made it happen." "I'm terribly grateful to you two gentlemen." "You did your share, Captain Jack." "Without this equipment, we couldn't have made it." "The only thing we could afford to do was rent this boat and the scuba gear." "The sea breeze, the ocean air, the lure of adventure." "The bounding main." "Hey, what's the matter?" "I--I think I'm sick." "Sick?" "We haven't even cast off yet." "Oh, I'm frightened of water." "They call it hydrophobia." "Hydrophobia, that's when you foam at the mouth." "I think he's going to." "I thought you were a sea captain." "Well, I had a TV kiddies adventure program on Saturday mornings." "I was the captain of the good ship Lollipop." "Get me off!" "Let's get him off." "Get me off!" "Get me off!" "Ok, ok." "Don't look down." "Don't look down." "I gotcha." "Here." "There you go." "Those kiddies believed all my sea stories, and I tried, but it was always the same." "I could never make it past the breakwater." "Uh, captain, the breakwater's right over there." "The breakwater." "He's beautiful." "Well, I guess we better unload this, huh?" "No." "No, no, no, no." "Uh, you can use the equipment." "I'll just charge you by the hour." "It won't do us any good." "We need a third man to help." "Hi, fellas!" "Hi, Jo!" "What are you doing?" "Well, we're just getting ready to-- do a little fishing!" "Fishing?" "But we're supposed to rehearse." "We're gonna rehearse later, hon." "Great." "I'll go with you." "Fine!" "Come on!" "Hey, help me cover this stuff, will ya?" "What'd you do that for?" "Well, you said you needed a third" "A man, not a girl, especially not that girl." "Why not that girl?" "I told you." "She thinks I'm interested in history, not sunken treasure." "Hey, this is a wild idea." "Hello, Jo." "Captain Jack." "Is anything wrong?" "Oh, nothing's wrong." "He's got hydrophobia, but he won't bite." "Jo, it was nothing." "Just another acute attack of cowardice." "I'll be all right in a month or two." "Can I get you anything?" "A glass of water?" "Oh, no, no." "Not water!" "Come on, then I'll help you back to the shop." "Good idea." "Help him back." "Wait for me." "No, never mind about me." "You go, go have a good time." "Come on, let's go." "Yeah, I'm ready." "Look, Jo, we may be out all day." "Oh, wonderful." "I brought my lunch." "5 raw carrots and a jar of prune yogurt." "Prune yogurt--yecch!" "I'll cast off the lines." "It won't work, Judd." "It just won't work." "Who else you gonna get?" "And who deserves a split more than she does?" "Ok." "But we better wait till we're out there before we deal her in." "She may not be too happy" "I didn't tell her about it in the first place." "Stern line's clear." "Thank you." "Hope you feel better, captain." "Well, if I'm not, don't bury me at sea." "Well, now is as good a time as any." "Look, tell her about the loot." "Build it up." "Every chick I've ever known digs money." "Take over, will you?" "I want to talk to you." "Sure." "You want a carrot?" "No, thanks." "The only way I like them is in tzimmes." "What?" "Navy talk." "Jo, we're not going fishing." "We're not?" "There's something I should have told you earlier, but, uh... now that I've waited so long, it's kind of rough." "Watch it, Judd." "Sorry, Ted." "Diving gear?" "Hey, wait a minute." "You were right." "This wasn't any fishing trip." "I can explain it to you." "You don't have to." "I think I get the picture." "Jo, I found a part of your grandfather's ship, the part with the chest in it." "That's why you came around asking questions." "There wasn't any Navy manual." "You're nothing but a get-rich-quick creep like all the rest." "Tell her about 1/3!" "We plan to give you a share, but we need your help." "Help?" "You brought me out here thinking I'd go along with this?" "It was your idea to come out here with us, remember?" "You even brought your lunch." "Hey, look!" "What do you think they want?" "I'm not sure, but there's a guy onboard who took my picture while I was deactivating that mine." "Took your picture?" "For what?" "They were playing games." "He might have seen the wreck while he was down there." "I don't know." "So what do we do now?" "Now we sit here and fish." "Ahoy there." "Where you headed?" "Nowhere." "Just doing a little fishing." "What about you?" "Oh, we're leaving." "On our way to Baja California." "I didn't want to go without saying good-bye." "Thank you." "Have a nice trip." "Thank you." "Kind of funny, you stopping out here to fish." "What's so funny about it?" "How come you're the only one fishing?" "Hey, what are you, the game warden?" "What are you trying to prove, Gil?" "Nothing." "It seems funny, that's all." "Hold it here a minute, will you?" "Dina, come here." "I want to show you something." "Look at this." "I was getting a little worried there, buddy." "That cat looked like he was hip to what we're doing." "I hope they're getting ready to leave." "We won't have too much daylight left as it is." "What do you say we be realistic about this?" "I'm not talking to you." "Let's not be childish." "I'm not being childish." "I'm just bugged." "You come on like we're robbing a bank." "Well, that's just the way you're acting." "This is stupid." "Look, you give your share to charity or whatever you want to, but help us bring it up." "All right, I will, if you give your share to charity." "Fine." "My favorite charity is me." "That is not what I meant." "We could use the money to set up an art center where my friends could live and study and improve their work." "Those kooks?" "They are not kooks." "They're serious artists who just need a decent place to work." "Is it a deal?" "Not that way." "You get a third," "I get a third, and Judd gets a third." "Mexican stand-off." "You're just being hardheaded." "Maybe, but I've got principles, and that's something you wouldn't understand." "Hey, we're in trouble!" "You have to help us!" "What's the matter?" "Battery cables are busted." "Battery cable?" "You have 2 engines, don't you?" "Both cables are shot!" "How can both cables wear out at the same time?" "Just unlucky, I guess." "You'll have to tow us in, Ted." "Yeah." "Rule of the sea, you know." "Ok." "Throw us a line." "Thanks for the lift." "Sorry we spoiled your fishing." "Forget it." "They weren't biting anyway." "Well, it won't be so bad, you singing in my place." "It'll be like old times." "We're not through yet." "We'll come back tomorrow." "Not with me you won't." "You still won't settle for a third?" "Why should I settle for a third when I can go for broke?" "What does that mean?" "Well, I know where it is now, don't I?" "And, after all, it was on my grandfather's ship." "You don't have the equipment to go treasure-hunting on your own." "Besides, we're gonna get there first." "Well, I can try." "And even if I don't stand a chance," "I wouldn't help you for anything in the world." "Ok." "So I'm an unprincipled, get-rich-quick creep." "Aside from that, I'm not all bad." "I'll keep your secret." "Look, would you like me any better if I hated money, grew a beard, and stood on my head?" "Any change would be an improvement." "Man, that girl is stubborn." "Listen, I'll talk to her later for you." "I understand women, you know." "If you do, you're the first." "Avast, you lubbers!" "Rig the mainsails, or I'll keelhaul the lot of ya!" "We've got to ride out this storm!" "This storm is turning into a hurricane!" "Let her blow, boys!" "Let her blow!" "Ahoy there, all my little shipmates in TV land!" "Huh, that was quite a storm we were through." "Captain Jack is here again this morning for Zelda's cornmeal mush" "Ha ha ha." "I'm, uh, ha ha, just rehearsing a television show" "I--I used to have." "I was always a stickler for realism." "The kids loved it." "Television show." "Yes." "Don't you recognize me?" "Captain Jack of the good ship Lollipop." "Remember?" "Ha ha ha ha ha!" "You're Captain Jack?" "Yes." "Didn't you ever see the show?" "Are you kidding?" "I saw it all the time and so did all my kids." "We never missed it." "How wonderful." "Well, I'm very, very flattered." "It's a pleasure to meet you, captain." "Oh, thank you very much." "Uhh!" "Oh, I'm awful sorry." "I really didn't mean to do that." "That's all right." "But it just can't be." "I mean, you couldn't be the same Captain Jack." "The same?" "What do you mean?" "Well, your name was on their equipment." "I just couldn't believe that my kids' Captain Jack was a part of their dirty scheme." "Well, friend, I don't follow you." "The scheme to cheat me out of my salvage." "You mean you found the treasure?" "Treasure?" "Do you mind?" "Uh, certainly." "Of course I found the treasure." "What do you think?" "And you're in on it with them." "Oh, you know, I don't know how to tell my kids." "Well, I don't understand you." "In what?" "With whom?" "Those beatnik friends of yours." "They sabotaged my boat." "Beatnik friends?" "You mean Jo Symington, Ted, and Judd?" "Yeah." "Look at this." "They cut my battery cables to delay me so they could bring up the treasure first." "I can hardly believe that." "I've known Jo Symington ever since she was a little girl." "She wouldn't do anything like that." "Well... maybe she was fooled by them the same way you were." "Fooled?" "Hey." "I thought there was something fishy when they said they were going fishing." "You sure you're not in on it?" "Of course not." "Oh, they wanted me to go with them." "They were even gonna cut me in." "They were gonna cut you up is what they're gonna do." "Cut you up and dump you." "Dump me?" "In the water?" "What do you think?" "But they got all my equipment." "They're going out again in the morning." "Aha." "That's what they think." "Boy, I'm sure glad I got here when I did." "I sure wouldn't want my kids to lose their faith in Captain Jack." "Well, neither would I." "Good." "Now, here's what we're gonna do." "We'll get the equipment..." "How could they know what we were after?" "Well, what about that picture Gil took, huh?" "Maybe that gave him a clue." "That might be it." "Either that, or they're just guessing." "Well, here's your chance to find out now." "Yeah." "I'll do that." "Hi." "Oh, hi." "Ted." "Excuse me." "Sure." "Listen, what about Jo?" "She's pretty mad." "She hasn't shown up here tonight." "Why don't you go up to her house and see what you can do?" "I'll meet you there later." "Ok." "I'm sorry about your having to tow us." "I hope you're not angry." "Courtesy of the sea." "Can I buy you a drink?" "Why don't we go someplace where we can be alone?" "My place?" "Your place?" "The beach?" "Your boat's closer." "Oh, no, not my boat." "Why not your boat?" "Well, first of all, I'm all out of champagne, and Gil might be there." "My car's outside." "Why don't we go for a nice long drive?" "Oh, that's my car over there." "You really have it made, don't you?" "Fancy car, expensive boat-- the whole works." "Jealous?" "Sure." "I'd like to have it myself." "Where I come from, we didn't even wear shoes." "That must be why you like girls who go barefooted." "Girls?" "Barefooted?" "Jo." "Uh, she's kind of a beatnik, isn't she?" "Well, if that means happily broke and full of all kind of crazy principles, that's what she is." "Um, look, you said you were going fishing tomorrow." "How about signing me on as your first mate?" "I don't have any principles." "I thought you were on your way south." "Oh, Gil said it would take 3 days to fix the battery cables." "That's funny." "I never heard of 2 cables going at once." "Oh, I don't know." "I guess they wear out like anything else." "It's a good thing we were close when it happened." "Gil said we're lucky that we weren't further out to sea." "What's with Gil anyway?" "He's just a poor boy who wants to be rich." "You can't hate him for that." "Oh, I don't hate him." "He's very useful to have around, but anyone I take seriously would have to have as much as I do." "Otherwise, I'd never know if he wanted me for me." "So until the right millionaire comes along, it's just fun and games, right?" "You can't hate me for that." "Get in." "No, thanks." "I'm going down to my boat." "At this time of night?" "What's so important down there?" "I got Captain Jack's equipment onboard, and nobody's watching it." "So if it's all the same with you," "I'll take a rain check." "I don't give rain checks." "Gil?" "Is that you?" "It's not Gil." "It's me." "Oh, it's you." "That's what I said." "Don't you hit me." "I'm not gonna hit you." "I just want to know what you're doing with my equipment." "It isn't your equipment." "It's my equipment." "I rented it from you by the hour, remember?" "Yeah, and your hour was up 10 hours ago." "I've rented it to someone else." "What are you talking about?" "Oh, I should have known you were a crook." "Your face is too honest." "I know all about your little scheme." "Gil told me." "You would've dumped me overboard and disappeared with the treasure and my equipment." "I don't remember inviting you aboard." "What are you trying to pull?" "Just looking out for Captain Jack's interests as well as my own." "I've rented him my equipment." "His face is so crooked, he's got to be honest." "Thanks a lot." "He's been lying to you." "He's just trying to get the equipment away from us." "Don't listen to him, captain." "If I were you, I'd leave before the coast guard picks you up for cutting my battery cables." "He knows we can't get the gear from anybody else by tomorrow morning." "He's trying to delay us so he can get out there first." "That's what he did to me!" "Wait a minute!" "I'm getting dizzy." "Captain, do you think a Navy man would lie to you?" "That's right." "You were in the Navy, weren't you?" "But his children believe in me." "Children?" "He's not even married." "That is a horrible thing to say." "That's right, friend." "That's horrible." "Now let's just get out of here." "Wait a minute." "You're gonna hurt each other." "Come on, let's get out of here." "All right, so I played dirty." "The name of the game is finders keepers." "That's right, and I found it." "But you got to bring it up in order to keep it, buddy." "And how you gonna do that by tomorrow morning?" "Dina and I have all the equipment." "Dina?" "Whose idea do you think this was?" "I'll straighten her out." "Gangway!" "Captain Jack!" "Go away!" "Go away!" "I'm closed!" "But I need that equipment." "I'm willing to buy it." "Well, I'm not selling it, and I'm not renting it to either one of you." "You're both a couple of greedy rascals." "If you'll just give me a chance to talk to you." "Now, go away now before I call the police." "They're paid to protect people like me from people like you." "Captain, listen to me, will you?" "Help, police!" "Help, police!" "Help, police!" "What happened?" "It's nothing." "It's just a joke." "Close the door, man." "You're creating a vacuum." "I'm sorry." "Pierre!" "I'm not Pierre." "Oh, well, you're lucky anyway." "Uh, I belong over in that corner over there." "Oh, but getting there is half the fun." "If you'll excuse me." "What are you protesting?" "Well, if you don't know," "I'm certainly not going to tell you." "Hi." "Welcome, partner." "Partner?" "Judd convinced me to go along with you." "I'm gonna tell the kids about it now." "Now, wait a minute." "Quiet!" "Quiet, everybody!" "Cool it!" "Listen, everybody!" "Listen!" "I want to tell you something beautiful." "Cinderella is a junkie!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Better than that!" "Cigarettes are good for your lungs!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Better than that." "We're going to have that art center we've wanted." "I can't tell you how just yet." "That's a surprise, but we owe thanks to Ted Jackson and Judd Whitman." "Yay!" "Yay!" "I wish you hadn't done that." "What I started to tell you is we may not be able to go tomorrow." "What do you mean?" "What's happened?" "Dina and Gil found out about the treasure." "They conned Captain Jack into thinking we were crooks so he'd rent the equipment to them." "Oh, no." "Oh, they've got our equipment?" "No." "Captain Jack decided not to rent the equipment to either one of us." "But that's the only stuff available." "What are we gonna do?" "He's an old friend of yours." "Maybe you can get it back." "I can try." "If we cut out of here now, we can be on the dock by the time he opens up." "Let's go." "Excuse us, folks." "Excuse me." "Excuse us." "You don't understand." "We want to cross." "Hey, Judd, Judd." "This is no good." "I got a better idea." "Lend me your trumpet, will you, pal?" "Give me a blast on the horn." "Everybody!" "Everybody!" "Just a minute!" "Listen to me just a second!" "I've got a story to tell you." "* Ol' Jonah, He was desperate *" "* In the belly Of the whale *" "* But Jonah had a plan" "* He knew he couldn't fail" "* He raised his head On high *" "* A-lookin' For the sky *" "* And sang a song So pretty *" "* The whale told him Good-bye *" "* You've got to sing, You children, sing *" "* Sing, you children, sing" "* I only know one thing" "* Hey, hey, hey" "* Sing, you children, sing, Everybody!" "*" "* Sing, you children, sing" "* Sing your troubles away" "* Well, Moses said, Good Lord *" "* Open up these waters For me *" "* So I can get Your children *" "* Across this salty sea" "* Well, the lord Parted the waters *" "* And singing hand in hand" "* Moses and the children" "* Walked over To the promised land *" "* Sing, you children, sing" "* Sing, you children, Sing *" "* I only know one thing" "* Hey, hey, hey" "* Sing, you children, sing, Everybody!" "*" "* Sing, you children, sing" "* Sing your troubles away" "* You've got to sing Your troubles away *" "* Sing your troubles away" "* Sing your troubles away" "* Sing your troubles away" "Hey, the car!" "It's gone!" "Are you sure you parked it here?" "Positive." "Hey, how'd you get here?" "Like everybody else." "In Jo's shuttle bus." "Well, let's take the shuttle bus." "It's on a trip." "It won't be back for 2 hours." "Maybe somebody moved it." "A 2-hour trip." "What'd you use, 1 or 2 lumps?" "Hey!" "You looking for something?" "Yeah." "My car." "Was it a convertible?" "Yup." "Was it red?" "Yeah, that's it." "Was the license number SIB9-- 912." "Right." "Have you seen it?" "Well, here it is." "Oh, no!" "I don't believe it." "Isn't it the living end?" "It's the first automobile mobile" "I've ever done." "But, Zoltan, I've told you, you've got to ask permission." "I'm sorry, but I just couldn't help myself." "I call it Over the Underpass." "Look, buddy, we need this car now!" "Put it in a bag." "We're in a hurry." "I'll put it back together again by noon tomorrow." "We got to get to the harbor tonight." "Hey, why don't you take my car?" "Where is it hanging?" "No." "It's outside." "Come on." "It runs even better than it looks." "I hope so." "We cannot be seen on the streets in that." "We can't help but be seen on the streets in that." "I do not have to take your insults, you know." "Zoltan, wait a minute!" "Hold it, Zoltan!" "It's better than nothing!" "It's lovely, Zoltan." "Yeah, it's lovely." "Come on, let's go." "Come on." "Here." "Get in." "Hey, how do you start this thing?" "Push the button marked "go-go."" "Go-go." "hey, what's the matter with this thing?" "It's probably out of gas!" "Why didn't you tell us that to begin with?" "You never asked." "Where's the nearest service station?" "About a half a mile down the road." "Jo, take the wheel." "Judd, let's push." "Put it in neutral." "Take the brake off." "Right." "Hey, wait, wait, wait a minute." "Let's take 5, huh?" "We can't stop now." "I didn't do it." "I'll change the tire." "You go to the station and bring back a 5-gallon can." "Of gas?" "Yeah, gas." "And run." "All right, I'm running." "Captain!" "Aah!" "Captain!" "Captain Jack!" "Captain Jack!" "Yes, I'm Captain Jack." "Is anyone there?" "Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute." "Please help me." "All right, all right." "I'm coming." "Please let me in." "I don't sleep in my clothes, you know." "I need your help." "Take it easy." "Don't break the door down." "Hurry!" "Hurry!" "Please!" "Who is it?" "Who's there?" "Captain, I need your help." "Please open up." "Why, it's 4:00 in the morning." "It's a matter of life and death." "You've just got to help me." "Oh, well, just a minute." "What is it?" "What's the matter?" "I'm in trouble." "I'm in terrible trouble." "Well, what can I do?" "I need your help desperately." "Please come with me." "Well, couldn't we do this some other time?" "Shh." "Don't talk." "We may be overheard." "Please come with me." "Wait till I get my shirt." "Young lady, if you're in some kind of trouble, you should call the police." "No, I can't." "I don't think I'd better get involved." "Listen, does your country mean anything to you," "I mean, anything at all?" "My country, of course it does." "Well, then come on." "Don't ask questions." "Well, let me put my shirt on." "I catch cold very easily." "Shh." "Where are we going?" "Shh!" "We have to hurry." "He's coming." "Who's coming?" "What is it?" "What's going on?" "Quick." "Hop on the boat." "Oh, I don't like boats." "I don't like" "Hurry." "Why do we have to hurry?" "Come on, over here." "We have to hide." "Hurry." "Stay down." "Stay down." "How long have we got to stay here?" "Not long." "Shh." "What was that?" "Nothing." "Relax." "Yeah." "Relax." "Dina!" "Who's that?" "It's him." "Him?" "Who him?" "Well, come and meet him." "You!" "Glad to have you aboard, captain." "You and your equipment." "I hope you'll forgive us for being so devious, but we were pressed for time." "I'll have you both arrested for this." "Keep him down here." "I'll go cast off." "Cast off?" "You mean you're going to sea?" "Sure, we are." "Get me out!" "Get me out!" "Captain, just relax." "You make a fuss," "I'll have to clap you in irons." "I'm going to sea." "Aah." "Oh, captain." "Captain." "Captain Jack?" "Captain Jack?" "Are you all right, captain?" "Well, we blew the whole night doing it, but at least we got enough gas to get there." "Yeah, if that spare tire holds out." "I sure hope Captain Jack sleeps late today." "Can't you go any faster?" "That's all she's got." "Hey, look at the speedometer." "It says rare, medium, and well-done." "Yeah, my stove cooks goulash at 50 miles an hour." "Zoltan doesn't care where he gets his parts." "Wake me if we get there." "Hey, look!" "It's open!" "Captain Jack?" "Looks like he's gone." "So is the equipment." "I'll bet Gil and Dina are gone too." "Come on." "Hey, look." "Dina's boat's gone too." "What did I tell you?" "Cast off." "Hey, look at this." ""Finders keepers, lover."" "Oh, boy." "I think we're wasting time..." "lover." "We're in the homestretch, captain." "The chest is practically out in the clear." "With a little luck, it should come up like a cork, solid sterling and tax-free." "Oh, you'll have to pay taxes." "It's a privilege." "Not in Istanbul." "Istanbul?" "Oh, you didn't think we were going back to Fisherman's Wharf, did you?" "Can't we go to someplace a little closer?" "Like, uh, Fresno or Bakersfield?" "Just remember what I told you." "Santa Monica." "3 yanks, and you start the compressor." "2 after that, and you stop it." "3, 2. 3, 2." "Would you mind going over that again?" "Would you mind concentrating?" "Oh, I should have never believed you two." "Those other fellas are the ones who found the treasure." "I'm doing them a terrible injustice." "That's right, captain." "You send them a letter of apology from Turkey." "Turkey?" "I get seasick even in a Turkish bath." "3 to start, 2 to stop." "Now, you'll have to do it several times, so keep your eye on that float and your mind on your work." "Remember, smile a lot." "You may be on Candid Camera." "This is just another game to you, isn't it?" "But of course." "I told you that." "But this one's gonna change things between us." "Not necessarily." "You mean you don't want it to?" "I didn't say that." "Get it first, then we'll talk." "There they are, all right." "I wonder if they've got it yet." "We'll soon find out." "What do you plan to do?" "Depends on what they're doing." "Help!" "I've been Shanghaied!" "Hey, there's Captain Jack." "Yeah." "Looks like he found out he's swinging with the wrong crowd." "Ship, ahoy!" "Thank heaven you're here." "I'm saved!" "We didn't come here to rescue you." "Oh, I know what you think of me, and you're right." "I'm a humbug, a double-dealer, a regular Benedict Arnold." "You left out fink." "Where are they?" "Oh, they're down there." "They're in the water." "I'm supposed to start the compressor when Gil yanks on that line." "2 yanks to start-- or was it 3?" "Anyway, the air will fill the float bags when he's got them attached to the chest." "That'll float it up." "Yeah, I know." "How long have they been down?" "Oh, only a few minutes this time." "Do exactly as he told you, if you can remember." "And one other thing." "What's that?" "Who's renting that equipment?" "You are, sir." "That's all I wanted to know." "Move the compressor onto my boat." "We'll continue the operation from there." "Judd will help you." "Hey, what are you gonna do, pally?" "You heard the man." "Those float bags down there are ours." "I'm going down to get them... and the treasure." "How much longer can they stay down there?" "I don't know." "Another 10 minutes, I guess." "It hasn't moved." "I've kept my eye on it all the time." "There it is!" "That's the signal." "3 yanks." "That means turn the air on." "Hey, look there!" "That's Gil!" "Didn't I see you in a monster movie, baby?" "I wonder what's happened to him." "I guess he's put on some weight." "Jack: bring it up." "I got it, I got it." "Don't worry, I got it." "Out of the way." "Watch it now, watch it." "Wow." "Hold it now." "Wait a second." "Down with it a little bit." "Down a little bit." "Take it easy, boys, take it easy." "Don't get excited at this stage of the game." "All right, stand aside." "Look out, look out." "Good, good, good." "You got it!" "It's open!" "Yay!" "There's another lock there." "Give it a whack there." "Oh, got it?" "Wait a minute." "Can I help?" "Wait a minute." "All right, here we go." "Aah!" "Aah!" "Aah, we got it!" "We got it!" "Aah!" "Oh, look at it!" "Let's go back and find out how much it's worth, how much we're worth." "Congratulations." "Like I said, finders keepers." "Thanks." "There are no hard feelings, I hope." "Not as far as I'm concerned, but if the captain wants to press charges, that's his business." "Oh, no, no, no." "I'm very grateful to these people." "Grateful?" "For what?" "They're responsible for me being out here." "I finally made it past the breakwater." "Now that you're rich, maybe you'd like to buy a cabin cruiser." "I'm thinking of selling mine." "I'll keep that in mind when I cash this in." "Let's go." "It's been fun." "Let's go, sourpuss." "If there's anything I hate, it's a good sport." "Mm-hmm." "Yes." "Uh-huh." "Yes." "Mm-hmm." "Uh-huh, yes!" "Well, what are they worth, huh?" "I think my top price would be 30." "$30 apiece!" "Wait a minute, Wait a minute." "I don't think you understood." "I meant 30 cents apiece." "You can't be serious." "Hold it, everybody." "Look, I looked it up." "Pieces of eight are worth at least $20 each." "Yes, if they're silver, more if they're gold." "But unfortunately these are copper." "Copper?" "But they look like" "I'm afraid that the slime has given them a patina." "No, these coins are quite common, and of very little interest to numismatists." "Numisma-whats?" "That's Armenian for coin collector." "Let's see." "You say you have approximately 13,000 coins." "At 30 cents apiece, that's, uh..." "I can offer you $3,900." "$3,900?" "For all the time and the money we spent." "My equipment is worth more than that." "I'm terribly sorry." "I can understand your disappointment, but that's really the best that I can do." "A moment, my friends." "Just remember, it isn't whether you win or lose, but how you play the game." "Will you please stop it?" "We'll take it." "Well, there we go." "$975 each." "No, no, no." "It just isn't right." "I cannot accept a full share." "But it was your equipment, captain." "You talked me into it." "I was only fooling, you know." "Well, it's been a lot of fun." "Yeah, but with $1,000 invested," "I'm right back where I started." "And this isn't even close to a down payment on the art center." "Yeah." "I make more than that on a Saturday night selling leftover pizzas." "Leftover pizzas?" "How much would it take for a down payment on the art center?" "At least 4,000 or 5,000." "4,000." "Here's my share, Jo." "What?" "We might as well put it all where it'll do the most good." "What do you think, Judd?" "I think I just made a contribution." "Oh, thank you." "This is wonderful." "Ahem." "340." "360." "3..." "Oh, take it." "It would only put me in a higher tax bracket." "You are a dear." "I'm a dear." "She kissed me." "That's just the down payment." "For the rest, we'll throw a big bash, collect donations, and Jo will have all the money in one evening." "Oh, you're marvelous." "Ok, and I will spring for the beer and the pizzas if you'll come back to work here like you promised." "You have got a deal, partner." "* Some people think That pot of gold *" "* Is all they ever want To hold *" "* But there's a treasure" "* I think more of" "* Measure for measure" "* I'll take love" "* Some people think That their success *" "* La la la la La la la-la *" "* Is all they need For happiness *" "* La la la la La la la-la *" "* But there's A pleasure *" "* I think more of" "* Measure for measure" "* I'll take love" "* La la la la La la la-la *" "* Pound for pound, Oh, yeah *" "* And ounce for ounce" "* Love is all That really counts *" "* So let them have Their wealth and fame *" "* La la la la La la la-la *" "* Eat caviar And drink champagne *" "* La la la la La la la-la *" "* You're all The treasure *" "* I'm dreaming of" "* Measure for measure" "* I'll take love" "* La la la la La la la-la *" "* Pound for pound" "* Oh, yeah, And ounce for ounce *" "* Love is all That really counts *" "* So let them have Their wealth and fame *" "* La la la la La la la-la *" "* Eat caviar And drink champagne *" "* La la la la La la la-la *" "* You're all The treasure *" "* I'm dreaming of" "* Measure for measure" "* I'll take love" "* I'll take love" "* I'll take love" "* La la la la La la la-la *" "* I'll take love" "* I'll take love"