"So, uh, what we're gonna do is we're gonna play back some of the band's new songs." "There'll be no cameras allowed in there." "There'll be no video." "No bags in there." "You can only walk in with paper and a pencil." " We're ready." " Are there any questions?" "Do you want us in?" " Camera over here." " Hello?" "Was there ever a moment you thought about stopping with Metallica or the whole band was falling apart?" "Was it a kind of a power struggle between you and him?" "How did you manage to solve this crisis?" "Where in God's name are you getting all this aggression from on this new album?" "Where's it coming from?" "Why did it take so long to release an album with the new songs?" "After 20 years, is it possible to retain the fire that, you know, you guys once had at the beginning?" "Do you think the young generation of metal fans will accept the new album?" "85 million records, 22 years... I think it's 11 albums in various official releases." "One word..." "Oh, my God." "One word to span our career?" "Uh..." "Scanning the scene in the city tonight" "We're looking for you to start up a fight" "There's an evil feeling in our brains" "But it's nothing new, you know it drives us insane" "Running, on our way, hiding, you will pay" "Dying one thousand deaths" "Running, on our way, hiding, you will pay" "Dying one thousand deaths" "Searching" "Seek and destroy" "Searching" "Seek and destroy" "Thank you!" "After 14 years of head-banging, Metallica bassist Jason Newsted has quit the band citing, quote, "Private and personal reasons, and the physical damage that I've done to myself over the years while playing the music I love."" "Metallica's management had no comment when asked by MTV News if there's a replacement waiting in the wings, but the band is still scheduled to begin recording a new album this spring." "That's the news for now, Stay tuned... I mean, I think everybody understands the concept of trusting instincts." "That's getting to a place where you don't let egos and let stuff get in the way of artistic expression." "You know?" "So, I mean this is..." "Do you wanna say anything more about that?" "'Cause I think everybody understands... I met Metallica through Q Prime Management, after having seen me work with another band of theirs." "When they called and said that Metallica, with Jason announcing that he was exiting the group, needed to take a look at itself and say, "Well, what's going on here?"" ""We've lost touch with our personal relationships,"" "and face some of the issues that I think Q Prime felt that they... were headed for." "You know, we haven't really worked together for almost nine months." "When we were talking a couple of days ago about whether... you know, if we wanted to do this film or not, I was wondering if having these guys in here... would affect that." "'Cause I'm just..." "There's an intimacy that you get when it's just a few people in the room, and I'm just wondering if that's gonna get lost, if we're gonna go back to sort of, like... battling each other and trying to be, like, all strong and..." "What intimacy?" "What the fuck are you talking about?" "I think, to me, it's not gonna be a matter of whether the cameras are in play, but whether or not you guys are free enough to risk being seen by other people." "We're here in the Presidio in San Francisco... and this is gonna be the location where Metallica is gonna start recording their next album." "We decided that we didn't wanna go back into a studio again and do kind of like the same thing we had done before." "We had to kind of change things up." "And this is one of the things that we talked about, was to go into a space that's not a studio." "Bring in kind of like a portable studio, or a makeshift studio, and basically make the situation uncomfortable." "You know, don't buy new furniture, don't paint the walls." "Don't do anything." "Just keep it Spartan, keep it crude." "They're such a success that you can get comfortable." "I don't think they wanna be comfortable." " There's definitely a vibe in here." " They've got a lot of attitude and I think they want it to come out on this next album." "How did you approach this record differently?" "I mean, did you talk about things?" "Did you have ideas, key words, things like that that you wanted to put across before you actually started putting the whole thing together?" "Well, ego was a big one." "Coming in here... and not bringing a riff, not bringing a song, not bringing a title." "Nothing." "Me and James did not meet somewhere else and come in here with material, with songs, with music." "This time, we all got in a room and just started playing, and that's how we wrote songs." "The idea is it should sound like... a band getting together in a garage for the first time... only the band's Metallica." "I really like going fast." "Just go off and meditate in the wind, you know?" "As corny as it sounds, it works, and it feels good." "It's a good way to just let the weight of the world off every once in a while." "It is kind of strange being... you know, like, a famous guy." "You know?" "This is... this is part of me that's trying to be "unfamous," I guess." "But it's also a go-against-the-rules attitude." "You know, is this something posed?" "I mean, yes, this is a pose." "I mean, am I driving down the street to not get noticed in this thing?" "I mean, "rebellious" is kind of what this says, I would say." " Have you got a plug in here?" " Wait, wait, wait." "So what exactly are you doing?" "Well, you'll just hold it above the pick-ups." "Oh, OK." "I gotcha." "Yeah!" "Give me fire, give me that which I desire" "Give me fuel, give me fire, give me that which I desire" "Give me fuel, give me fire, give me that which I desire I got some bad news." " Gonna have to..." " Change the lyrics?" " I like this thing, Bob." " What?" "I like this thing." "I used to kid myself that art was my great escape away from music." "And I think I've become increasingly aware that my interest in art, music and Metallica is not separate from anything." "You know, why does he feel that there's enough of that kind of gold thing?" "How come there isn't another 20 strokes up in that black area up there where it's kind of bare?" "Where are the starting points and where are the end points, if you know what I mean?" "When's a song done?" "What the fuck does that mean, anyway?" ""Done." When's a record done?" "You know, where does a record start?" "Where does it end?" "Where does the process start?" "Where the process end?" "All that type of stuff." "Do you know what I mean?" " Daddy!" " It's really interesting." "Yes, sweetie?" "I don't feel anything great there." " I don't think it's that great." " How do you hear the riff, then?" "I like that... and then... ln nine days it'll be my two-year anniversary of surfing." "It's taken the place of a lot of bad things in my life." "So I basically stopped doing the drugs that I was doing, and cut way back on my drinking." "You can't surf when you're hung over." "You can't surf if you've been up all night." "Well, at least I can't." "There's a sort of individualism, also, about surfing that I like." "I mean..." "When it's your moment, man, that's your moment and yours alone." "And no one can help you." "For all intents and purposes, we go into this record completely equal." "Everybody contributing just as much on the lyric front as James contributing with drum parts and..." "As soon as you started talking about that I just, like..." "Yeah, yeah." "You flash back now?" "Well..." "You want to hear it with vocals?" "Go sing it." "You guys had some rules about that before." "Quite frankly, I don't give a fuck." "I'm tired of arguing." "You couldn't talk about his lyrics... therefore, he couldn't talk about your drumming." " Right." " Do you know what I mean?" "And you and him did the solos, so you weren't allowed to comment on the solos." "Do you know what I mean?" "There was, like, rules." "Are you telling me that those boundaries are gone now?" "In the past, what we did was started with a bunch of ideas existing on tape from everybody." "Then me and James would sit down and turn those ideas into songs, and then we would tell the rest of the band what to play and when to play it and how to play it." "There was never any..." "just other ways of doing it." "You know, it's a whole new thing for me." "You know, writing in front of everybody." "'Cause I've always just gone into my own head and wrote stuff down, instead of taking things from outside and putting them down." "You know, I was thinking this is, like, "These are the hands that da-da-da..."" ""This is the face that de-de-da-da..."" " So, it's like..." " Building a Frankenstein or something?" " Yeah." "Pretty much." " Building what?" " A Frankenstein." " "This is the top of my head that's flat..."" ""These are my bolts."" "We're on the same stream of consciousness here." "We're just all working on the same creative wavelength." "And it's inspiring to me." "Now I can further express myself with these lyrics now that, you know, James has opened that door for Lars and I." " This is "clay," right?" "Not "clam."" " Yeah. "Clay."" "OK. "These hands finger the clam."" "These are the eyes that can't see through me" "This is the tongue that speaks on the inside" "Make sure you really, like, spit "can't see me."" ""These are the eyes that can't see me."" "These are the eyes that can't see me" "These are the hands that drop your trust" " This is the..." " Yeah." ""This is the eye..." Yeah." "This is the eye that can't see me" "This is the hand to drop your trust" "These are the boots that kick you around" "This is the voice of silence no more!" "What is this about?" "Well, I mean, when I said "Frankenstein" it's not that far off." "You're talking about pieces of things." " I mean, some kind of monster." " "Some kind of monster"?" "You know." " Some kind of monster." " Some kind of monster?" " It is good." " You know what I mean?" "I like that." "Some kind of monster" "The monster lives" ""We come now to create our album of life."" ""Throughout our individual and collective journeys, sometimes through pain and conflict, we've discovered the true meaning of family."" ""As we accomplish ultimate togetherness, we become healers of ourselves, and the countless who embrace us and our message."" ""We have learned and we understand, now we must share."" " So that's just, um..." " A mission statement." " A what statement?" " Mission statement." " "Mission"?" " Yeah, mission." "It's, like, you know," " it sets a goal..." " Right." "...so you can, like, just always be reminded of, you know..." "You know, what the ultimate goal is." "All right!" "It's my world, you can't have it" "It's my world, you cannot have it" "It's my world, you can't have it" "It's my world, my world, my world, you cannot have it" "Sucka!" " Excellent." " Come on, little man, let's go." "Skylar, do you want your purse?" " Um..." " Daddy!" "Oh, come, oh, come." "Come, Daddy!" "Come, Daddy!" "I don't know how you guys feel, but it's really awesome, what we're doing." "The four of us can just go in a fuckin' room and roll that kind of shit out of our sleeves." "Pull it out of thin air, man." "It's so exciting, 'cause that has just never happened before." "I couldn't get to sleep last night 'cause I was still wired from it all." "How do you feel?" "You don't seem very psyched about it." "What the hell?" " How's it going, buddy?" " Good to see you." " How many bears did you kill?" " Two." "Russia's fucked up." "You know, it was, like, you put a bottle of water here on the table." "It was... that was it, a bottle of vodka sitting there." " Did you drink vodka?" " Hell, yeah!" " You did?" " What else is there to drink?" "As soon as we got there, it was, like, "Na zdorovia!"" "Na zdorovia!" "That's a pretty big bear." "is bear edible?" "They were no good to eat." "That freaked me out, when they didn't take any meat." "You know, they have been hibernating for three months, so they haven't pissed or shit or nothing." " So they're toxic?" " Yeah." "Third day, I'd killed my bear and I was just in camp for the rest of the time." " It's, like, "Oh, my God."" " Worked on lyrics?" "Yeah." "I actually did." "There was a lot of time, man." "A lot of time." " I worked on lyrics in Siberia." " How to drink vodka and work on lyrics." "Temptation wreck my head" "Temptation make you dead" "Temptation sucks my soul" "Temptation fill no hole!" "Temptation" "Fuck you up" "Temptation" "No, no, no, no, I can't say no" "Can't say no, no, no" "No, no, no, can't say no" "Oh, no, I can't say no" "Go away" "Leave me be" "Just leave me be" "So, what were the reactions you got from those close?" "I mean, how did the family react?" "I'm just..." "I don't know." "Sometimes I'm a real ass about it and just come in and say, you know, "Oh, by the way," "I'm going to Russia for two weeks right here."" "You know, and, "What?", you know?" "Yeah, I'm getting better at that, you know, 'cause..." "That was the most I missed my family, ever." " You know?" " Right." "And it was, you know, Castor's first birthday I missed." " Right." " And it was..." "Of course, we had a little vodka, to Castor." "You know, a little shot for him and everything." "But I would have loved to have been able to get ahold of home." " Who's here?" " This is Daddy's working." " This is where Dad works?" " Yeah." " What does your dad do for work?" " Dums." " He plays drums?" " Yeah." " Uh-huh." "Is he good at it?" " Let me play dums." " Daddy want to play dums?" " I played drums a lot today already." "I'm OK." "You play for a while." " Those guys..." " That's very good." "...you know, their plate is filled with many, many things." "And music is just one of the things." "Say "Bye, James."" " Bye, James." " Bye, buddy." "I chose not to have children and do those kind of things." "My music..." "That's my children, you know?" "But since I decided to do it with music, then that's what I have to fill my time with." "Echobrain is one of the projects that I've been working on for years, and now it's come to fruition." "And then, when it comes to the time where my main cat, James, tells me that... that basically, he couldn't be in a band with me if I took this other project to this level." "And after 15 years of working together, and going on buses, and..." "You know the stories, man." "There is no way that this thing that I was doing could affect the monster of Metallica." "I just don't see how it could." "And so, in saying things like that, I couldn't accept that kind of, um... limited acceptance." "I also know that this relationship is not over." "You know, he'll..." "it'll come around again at some point." "You guys will make contact." "At that time, the manager suggested that we have a psychotherapist come in, a man that meets with pro-ball teams - you know, big-ego, big-dollar guys that can't get along, but have to make some kind of entity flow" "so everybody else and everybody can make their money." "And, uh, I actually said," ""l think that this is really fucking lame and weak that we cannot get together."" ""Us!" "Look, we're the biggest heavy band of all time!"" ""And the things we've been through, the decisions we've made about squillions of dollars and squillions of people."" ""And this... we can't get over this?"" "Was it more than just the Echobrain thing?" "'Cause that's, like, you know, what has been discussed." "He felt like he wasn't free enough to do what he needed to do." "Since he wasn't getting his creativity out enough in Metallica, he needed to get it out somewhere else." "And I totally understand that now." "And, uh... on my side of that was... I didn't want him to enjoy that more than Metallica." "I didn't want anyone to leave Metallica." "I didn't want to feel that we weren't enough, or something like that." "And it was through my, I guess..." "The way I learned how to love things was just to choke 'em to death." "You know?" ""Don't go anywhere." "Don't leave."" "You know?" ""You have to stay here."" "OK." "I need a pen, none of this pencil shit." "Check it out, man, They can't fuckin' spell it right." ""Metllica." We've only been together 20 years." "I feel guilty that I'm not inspired all the time." "You know, especially when everyone else is." " True." " It's, like, OK." "We kind of get to the point where the song is looped twice in the ProTools and I know Bob's gonna hit me up for some kind of lyric ideas." "Ah, shit!" "I was, like, dreading the whole process." "It's, like, "Why are you dreading it?" "Why don't you just...?"" "You were dreading it because of what?" "Let's get to the fear." " Well, because I didn't have anything, or..." " And so if you didn't have anything...?" "...wasn't inspired enough to have something..." " And you didn't have anything?" " ...or letting down the team," " or some vibe like that." " OK." "One, two, three, five..." "Say it, all right, yeah" "Motherfuckin' in my head" "It's like I'm almost, like, racing against time." "There's, like, a weird-ass fear of, like..." ""l gotta come up with something myself really quick before somebody else comes up with something for me."" "And then if I don't like it or don't 100% embrace it, then I'm just being a selfish..." "you know, insular asshole." "It's a fear response." "When we're up against a fear, that's the time to move into it forward." "Because there's gonna be some kind of genius there or some kind of breakthrough." "Oh, motherfucker, yeah" "Yeah!" "Metallica!" "Metallica!" "Kirk." "Kirk." " Kirk." " Kirk!" " Kirk." " Kirk!" " Kirk." " Kirk!" " Yes." " Kirk." " James is trying to talk to you." " Sorry, man." "Yeah, it's a bit stock." "Check it out, guys." "I don't know how you feel." "I'm in a shit mood, and..." "I'm not diggin' it right now." "Even last night, I gotta tell you, everybody kind of looked..." " I hate to tell you, looked pretty burnt." " I agree." "And if we don't start earlier and end earlier, I'm just..." "I'm not gonna be in a good mood for the rest of the shit, you know?" " That was totally weird for me." " You hear that, Bob?" "Why don't you try getting a more solid beat?" " Regular?" " Oh, well, you call it "regular."" " No, you call it "regular."" " No, I'm trying not to call it "regular."" "'Cause I know it bugs you when I call it "regular."" "So a little more solid, then." "Fuck!" "Maybe we should talk about next week." "Well, all next week is therapy." " Yeah." " Do we have to do that?" "Can we sack Phil?" "I mean, we gotta find..." "we gotta find a balance to not..." "You know, the Phil stuff's important, and I hope we all feel that that's an investment in the music." "It's an important part of the record." "Get all holy again, yeah" "Let me just go put one together." "Get all holy again" "It's just real confusing-sounding." "It's just jacking' the vocals all up." "I mean... I mean, it's clever and everything, but... I mean, I don't see what it does to this." "I think that's how you hear it, dude." "That's fine." "I'm just trying to do something different." "I mean, I'm..." "I'm used to having the drummer do the beat part." "You know what I mean?" "Holding it together." "Um..." "What I'm hearing is... I'll choose my words carefully here." "Um..." "It's pretty straightforward." "And the guitar shit, it's... you know, it's a little stock." "So I started trying to introduce some kind of edge to it on the drums." "Those things we throw out to each other are complete bullshit." "You know?" "It sounds too stock." "It sounds too normal to me." "That..." "I mean..." "You know what I mean?" "You're saying this shit, so... you can get your point across about doing a drum beat." "I mean..." " You know, it doesn't hold any water." " To you." " It doesn't!" " I think it's fuckin' stock!" "What... which part of that is unclear to you?" "I think it sounds stock to my ears." "I mean, do you want me to write it down?" " I think it feels stock, OK?" " Oh, yeah, please write it down." " I hear you." " So I..." "No, when you say..." "You're telling me what to play, right now." "You're telling me, "You should play with what Kirk's doing."" "And I'm telling you it's stock." " Dude, fine." " You know what, guys?" "Why don't we just go in there and just hammer it out, all right?" "Instead of hammering on each other." "We're in shit moods and we're not gonna get anything done here today." "All you wanna do is pick a fuckin' fight." "And you... I don't wanna pick a fight." "This is so silly." "You're just sitting there going, "I'm in a really pissy mood, and..."" "And I fuckin' told you, straight up, that I was!" " Right." " And what are you trying to do?" "I'm not trying to do fuckin' shit!" "You're just sitting here being a complete dick." "You're really helping matters." "You're really good at that." "I was straight up with you and I told you, "I'm in a shit mood."" "And what have you been doing?" "Fuckin' pickin' at me all night." "Come on, guys." "We've got better things to do." "Yeah, I do." "I do." "Metallica frontman James Hetfield has entered a rehabilitation facility to undergo treatment for alcoholism and other undisclosed addictions." "In a statement posted on Metallica's official website, the band writes:" ""James has entered an undisclosed facility, and he will continue to receive treatment until further notice."" ""Until then, we have postponed all current activities, including recording sessions for our new album."" "Metallica, whose hard-partying ways earned them the nickname "Alcoholica,"" "have been working on their follow-up to the 1998 double-disc collection of covers..." "Not only do I not know the answer I don't even know what the question is!" "God, it feels" "Like it only rains on me" "God, it feels... I think it's easy to see that in those days," "Metallica brought a kind of physicality to rock-'n'-roll." "Let's say the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, you know, and all that, inspired some of the British rock music that then developed after that." "And let's say the metal music, and Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath and all of that." "And then, out of that, again, then... let's say, then came Lars and all of that in being." "So, I think that they have certainly a place in all of that, I think." "Lars had a very good vision, at the time, of where he saw that particular... you know, the metal music going." "Because he could see it with European ears and eyes, maybe." "Don't you feel that it's great for you to have your father's perspective on... on who you are and what you're doing?" "I think that's incredible, and it's..." "You talk about the lineage, which we did." "We talked a little bit about your grandfather..." "It's very difficult to admit it, especially with him standing next to me." "It's easier to talk about when he's not in my presence." "But, um, of course it is." " Yeah." " What would you say in private?" " To who?" " To anybody, without him here." "Say it." "You know, what would it be?" "Well, I mean, I've already said it to you countless times." "Well, have you said it to him?" "What is it that you...?" "You brought it up." "I didn't bring it up." "What is it you feel you've said that you're not saying now?" "I think maybe in some ways, some of the, um..." " To me, that's..." " ...fear of status quo comes a little bit from this direction over here." "I think that, um..." "I mean, there's nothing worse than when I have to go to him and play the new record and know there's something on there that sucks." "And he can see right through that in two-and-a-half seconds flat." "Comments on that one?" "I would say..." "You know, if you said, "lf you were our advisor, what would you say?", then I would say, "Delete that."" "I mean..." "I don't know for you guys." "For me, it doesn't cut it." "You know?" " But, uh..." " Interesting." "I mean, it's interesting, you know, now..." " Other than the people involved here..." " Yeah." "...the only other people who've heard any of this music is Cliff Burnstein." "Yeah." "When Cliff Burnstein heard that, he thought that should open the record." "Yeah." "I mean, that could well be." "But I'm pretty sure that..." "I really..." "That..." "I really don't think so." "You know?" "I really don't think so." "Right." "For me, that doesn't sound right or something, you know?" "Unless I'm a guy that's kind of shouting in some kind of echo chamber." "So I think one of our responsibilities here is to act like a band is still continuing." "We're going on." "We're doing our exploring." "We're exploring ourselves individually." "We're exploring our relationships." "And we really need to get together, talk about this, act like the band exists, because it does exist." "And if we don't do that, then we are the co-producers of the process slipping off the planet." "It's a bit of a shit sandwich, though." "What is it, the unraveling of a band?" "And then there were two?" "So, uh, a good friend of mine phoned me, and he knew where James was." " Really?" " Yeah." "He couldn't even imagine James doing anything for six months." "I'm prepared for the worst." "I'm pretty confident that, you know, we will come together when the time is right." "But knowing when that time will come... or not knowing when that time will come, is very, very uncomfortable." "I hope that at some point, he will come back and try and finish the making of this record." "If... lf he walked away from Metallica, I'm not sure that it would surprise me." "Say your prayers, little one" "Don't forget, my son, to include everyone I'll tuck you in free from sin l've always felt that James was a softer, more caring, compassionate person than he allowed himself to be to most people." "I can remember from the Dave Mustaine days, I mean, when him and Dave Mustaine..." "These guys, they started, like, right away with their big, you know, chest-beating and their mannerisms." "And the whole thing was very much about this kind of, like, macho." "And it was just, like, I couldn't deal with that stuff." "And looking back on, what, 18, 19 years ago, I mean, I just felt so alienated because it was just so far removed from the upbringing that I come from." "Well, here's to you, my friends." "But then, at the same time, I'm starting to realizing now that the sort of depressive things that show up as a result of the alcohol and stuff like that, it was just very difficult for him" " to communicate from the heart..." " You want some or not?" "...and not hide behind a lot of these different fronts." "Whether it's alcohol that gives him a false sense of strength, or "the frontman in Metallica," or, you know, macho bullshit and all that stuff." "All right, now you guys are drunk and I'm drunk." "Now this is the fun part, man." "I want to help him, I want to be there for him, and I want to do the best I can to make him the best person that he can be." "So I don't know how the fuck it's gonna play out." "It's really healthy for me to be here without any pressure or anything related to the band or anyone who would remind me of the band, and, uh, recognize what's real." "Our sessions with Phil really stirred up a lot of things in James that he felt that he needed to address." "Mentally, it's really taken its toll on myself, you know, 'cause I'm very worried about him." "And, you know, whenever you check yourself into rehab, they don't focus on, you know, the fact that you're an alcoholic." "They go much deeper." "You know?" "I mean, they go way deep." "They crack you open, and then spill you out and examine all the things that are on the table." "I've spoken to him a few times, and, you know, I know he's having a rough trip." "No matter how bad it gets, eventually, things seem to sort themselves out." "Sooner or later." "Whether it's good or bad, they sort themselves out." "I watch the people around the world say what a great guitar player Kirk is, and what a piece of shit I am." "And that I got kicked out of Metallica." "And I wasn't good enough for them." "And that I was a loser." "And I've had to deal with that for almost 20 years." "And it's a dreadful experience." "It's been hard, Lars." "It's been hard to watch everything that you guys do and you touch turn to gold, and everything I do fuckin' backfire." "And I'm sure there's a lot of people that... they would consider my backfire a complete success, you know?" "And am I happy being number two?" "No!" "You know?" "You're just now encountering something I've been going through 13, 14 years." "I've never had a chance to be able to tell you without... talking to Lars, the guy in Metallica." "I've never talked to my little Danish friend again." "You know?" "I remember the day you and I talked about digging a hole in fuckin' dirt and smoking hash through the ground." "That, to me, is the stuff that's like..." "You know?" "And we've never had very many moments like that." "Do I feel some guilt?" "Uh, yes, I do." "But at the same time, it's difficult for me to comprehend that the only thing that you feel when you look back on the last 20 years... is rooted in the Metallica thing." "OK." "Have you ever thought what I've been through?" "I think I've had an awareness of the pain I caused you." " Um..." " That's not what I said." "OK." "Um..." " Do you have any idea..." " Of what I put you through?" "No, no, no." "...what I went through?" "I mean, people hate me because of you." "I walk down the street and I hear some piece of shit say "Metallica!" at me." "And they do that to taunt me." "I mean, when I would hear Metallica on the radio, I would be, like," ""God, I have to turn this off," because I just keep thinking, "l fucked up!"" "Right." "I've been waiting for this day for a long time." "You know, and by no means is it done, because somebody else very important is not here." "Right." "Do I wish it was 1982 all over again and you guys woke me up and say," ""Hey, Dave, you know what?" "You need to go to AA"?" "Yeah." "I'd give anything for that chance." "is there any last words you want to say to everybody out there?" "Metal up your ass!" "OK, thank you." "This is Donna Davis and this is Metallica." "This is, like, a pretty bitchin' club to play the first fucking gig." " Yeah." " How do you guys feel?" "Stoked." " Freaking out." "Totally." " Freakin' out?" "Freaking out." "It's fuckin' unbelievable." "I think what it comes down to..." "Can I say that?" " Yeah, you can say whatever you want." " Great." "Great." "It's fucking unbelievable." "Echobrain!" "Yeah!" "I don't know, just all of a sudden, this became, like, such a big production." "I don't understand." "It's, like, all of a sudden, I get, like, one phone call." "It's like everybody and their fuckin' brother are in town." "I thought it'd be Jason, like, playing with his new band in front of, you know, like, 20 drunks down at some bar or something." "And now, I guess, through my own ignorance or something, I guess that's what I wanted it to be." "So now I'm realizing that supposedly it's a little more of a big deal than that." " Hey, man." " Thanks." "Thanks, man, thanks." " Awesome, dude." "Awesome." " Oh, thank you." "Right on." " I'm Lars." "How you doing?" " Nice to meet you." " Great to meet you." " Where's Jason?" " Jase?" " I don't know." "Dude, I think he went back to..." "I think he already fucking bailed." " I think he might have went back to..." " Did he?" "Really?" "Nice!" "I go back to say hey, and he's, like, fucking gone." ""Elvis has left the building."" "There's Zach." "Hey, Zach!" "See, he's even blowing me off." "Jason blows me off, Zach blows me off." "How quick we become yesterday's news." "Yeah!" "No kidding." "See, there's a guy in an Echobrain T-shirt." "Yeah, that's Steve over there." "He works at the studio with us." " Well, it is." " Really?" " Yeah." "I remember that guy." " Huh?" "I remember that guy." "He worked at the studio." " Which guy?" " Over there." "The guy in the red shorts?" "No, the guy in the black that's walking across right now." " Really?" " Kessel." "Todd." "He works at the studio, too, doesn't he?" " Who?" " Todd over there." "I'm sure they're all here, Bob." "I mean, the only two people in the bay area not working for him is me and you." "Hetfield's gonna freak." "I'm in fucking hell." "This whole gig has brought all of this on, hasn't it?" " Yes, it has." "It's made me feel like..." " You really wanna come clean." "It made me feel like such a loser." "I mean, I can't hold my band together, you know?" "I start records, I don't finish them." "I fucking..." "Jason is the future." "Metallica's the past." "I've never had a break like this, in 20 years." "Do you know what I mean?" "And just what's been kind of getting me is just not knowing." "Do you know what I mean?" "Not knowing, and not hearing, that's just like..." "It just eats away at you." "Kirk talked to him." " I talked to James today." " Oh, cool." "What did he say?" "He basically said that, you know, his family's the priority right now, and he needs time to work on his family before he can reach out to his other family, being us." "And that he loves us, and he just needs for us to understand that he needs time." "And he also went on about how difficult it was talking to you about it, because he felt pressured." "And, you know, he spoke about how you always need to be in control of the situation, or in control of the schedule, or whatever." "And he said that this is a time he needs complete control of the situation." "And he said, you know, all the Marc Reiters, and the Bob Rocks, all that stuff, you know, just has..." ""l can't think of that right now."" "So, you know, I got the feeling that he kind of lumps in your relationship with the business side of things." "Which was, actually, really surprising to me." "But I think that's, you know, that explains a lot on why he hasn't spoken to you." "We're just in limbo, and the longer James chooses to stay away from dealing with us, the further we drift apart." "And I just feel so... disrespected... that that's the key thing." "Was the future of the group ever in doubt, even when James went into rehab, do you think?" "Lars and I, we were wondering when James was going to finally feel like he was in a situation where he can come back to the band." "And after a certain amount of months, you know, Lars and I started to think," ""Well, is he ever gonna come back to the band?"" "And that was a really big question on our plates." "Whether or not, you know, he wanted to come back." "James wrote something in the new issue of our magazine, So What." "He wrote a kind of a little handwritten note." "That note was probably the most heartfelt thing I'd ever seen come from his mind." "Tomorrow is shaping up, or is gearing itself up, to be..." "Yes, the first sit-down with one James Hetfield, post-rehab." " Why are we filming this?" " I don't know." "We're in very different places." "Or, at least, I am in a very different place than I was from the Presidio." "That's a huge understatement." "So, we just have to find that if, you know, if the movie will be as intense, you know?" "To me, there was a lot of intrusion and I kind of went with it, and felt..." "I felt uncomfortable." "I felt uncomfortable with it." "You know, a boom following me around, and it just felt like I was in the spotlight all the time, and I didn't... I guess I don't really like that feeling." "While we were in the Presidio filming you guys playing," " did you feel it then, too?" " Yeah." "It was pretty much all the time." "I mean, do you think you're in a better place now?" " We've got to find some avenue..." " I'm definitely in a better place." "...some place that makes you feel comfortable." "The last thing we want to do is have it impede on your music, because that's more important than anything, right?" "You know, one answer may be..." "Maybe there shouldn't be a film." "I mean, that's the range of possibilities that we should really think about, because..." "I mean, why do you guys want a film?" "Even you said you hoped that the film is made." "I mean..." "That's a big question, because for me, it was really just, it came along with being in Metallica - "Hey, we're gonna do this."" ""Oh, OK."" "That's part of this, all of this." "The bigness of Metallica." "And I'm kind of tired of it." "You might look at it as a friend." "To me, it's been a beast." "And it's sucked a lot of me into it." "You were maybe the keeper of the beast at one point." "You know, because you were the champion of that fifth... that entity." "And of course you got to just find the right balance between what everybody's personal needs are, but if Metallica collectively decides to do this, then I think Metallica can make it happen." "I don't know, that scares me again." "Metallica is three individuals, and three individuals have to decide if it's good to do." "I still think that the priority is the collective, until all the people involved in the collective say that the priority is the individual." "And, so far, you're the only one that said the priority is the individual." "I haven't said that, and he hasn't said that." "I haven't heard him say that." "So I feel that it's still..." "there's still an unbalance there." "We met from, like, maybe, I don't know, six or eight weeks before we actually picked up the project again." "That was when we came in and it was the first time we actually used this studio, HQ." "Anyway, here we are." "HQ." "Right on." "Well, we're here." "And the camera's here." "And my friend the boom is here." " Hovering." " Yeah." "Cool." "Want me to play the music?" "Yeah, let's go." " I'm..." " l'll put the big speakers on." "I was afraid to pick up a guitar, and fearful of what would happen." "Would I not like it?" "Would I love it?" "Would I not be able to write anything cool?" "Would I write just recovery stuff?" "James." "It's probably the best sound I've ever heard in my life, was the fact that you were playing guitar in here." "Right on, brother." "Play a riff." " What?" " Nothing." " See?" "It feels pretty good, doesn't it?" " Yeah." "It feels like the next day." "A year later, the next day." "It's gonna be interesting working on the schedule, because we really haven't." "It's gonna be great." "And kind of the overview is, you know, the less time we have here, the more productive we'll be, in a way." "You know?" "It's, like, we're more focused on getting the stuff done." "That all sounds really good." "OK." "Now let's revisit it in a week." "So, um, I think that..." "Don't talk it, walk it." "At some point, we are gonna have to work a little harder." " Yes." " Yeah." "When that feels right." "What do you mean?" "What does that mean?" " What does that mean?" " Yeah." "When you say "harder," does that mean more hours?" "You know, if we can go deep real quick." " Be intense." " I spoke up, because, what does that mean, we have to, you know, do eight hours now?" "I got fearful right then." "That's OK." "I mean it's, like, yeah." " To do eight hours?" " No." "Any lyric ideas?" " I'm searching for..." " "Searching for doughnuts."" "Searching for doughnuts" "I'm searching for doughnuts" "What was the whole thing from yesterday?" "The Buddhist..." " Guarantee." "What?" " No, the Buddhist thing that you had..." ""Birth is pain." "Life is pain." "Death is pain."" "The cycle of suffering." "It's called "samsara."" "Where are you with this, James?" " Somewhere else." " OK." " Where's today's sweat going?" " "l've worn out being afraid."" ""My endless parade, of fear that I've constantly made."" ""My lifestyle determines my deathstyle." "A rising tide that pushes" " "My deathstyle." - ...to the other side."" "I've worn out being afraid, endless parade" "Of fear that I've constantly made" "This frantic tick-tick-tick-tock I'd gladly trade" "Oh, I need to know the answer where l'll be laid I can't find it" " It just... it doesn't work." " The great... you did one great thing." " You went "Do-do-do..."" " Yay!" "You did this one syncopated thing." "Do the whole verse like that." "Worn out, always being afraid" "An endless stream of fear that I've made" "This frantic tick-tick-tick-tock I'd gladly trade" "It's weird, it's weird." "You know?" "No, but the second time you felt really comfortable with it." " Right." " Oh, by the way, it's quarter to four." "I gotta get rolling, guys." "Sorry." "I feel like the bad guy saying, "l gotta go, 'cause it's 4:00."" "If we all know, and we all do know, that 4:00 is kind of the stop time, then, I don't know, then I won't feel like the heel here, saying," ""l got to go eat dinner with my kids," you know?" "'Cause I have a feeling, you know, I'm gonna walk out of here, and you guys are gonna go in there and listen to this stuff," " and it's, like... that's not right." " That's not." "I mean, if I wanna listen to it, I'll go and listen to it." " But we should at least listen to it..." " lf you're gonna stop early..." "But I know you'll sit there and start talking with Bob." "Maybe Bob doesn't want to sit in there." "When I'm gone, things get talked about, and then decisions are made, and I feel I walk into something that's already kind of decided." "And it's a total uphill battle for me a lot of times." "I don't like that feeling." "Well, that's like..." "just like the last 15 years..." " Yeah." " ...for me." "Well, let's talk about this tomorrow then, all right?" " Or do you want to take time out...?" " No, I don't have time right now." "It's past four." "It's hard to introduce structure into this, and I'm trying." " So what do you think, Lars?" " Can we do the song from yesterday?" " That we all heard together?" " How is that different?" "Because we all heard it together already." "Well, what he wants is to be a part of everything." " Was I in there?" " Yes, you were." " We all heard it together." " You came in." "All right." "As long as you don't talk about it." " ls that a way around it, or is that just...?" " That is definitely a way around it." "How about if we just save up the tension...?" "Seriously." "I mean, it's OK, because tension produces results." "Above!" "Below!" "Quiet." "I'm excited to see what you learned here." "Go up and back." "Up and freeze!" "What is this called?" "I'm so proud of you, sweetie." "I'm so glad I got to see you." "I'm working on, really hard, on being the best dad and father and husband I can be." "And the best me." "You worked hard." "I don't want to lose any of the stuff I have." "I know it could all go away at one time." "And that's a tough part of life." "And then, it's just..." "it's a total rebirth for me." "Looking at life in a whole new way." "You know, all the other drinking, and all the other junk that I was stuck in." "It was so predictable." "So boring." "I'm out there looking for excitement, and all this stuff." "The results are the same, man." "I wake up the next day somewhere, in some bed, I don't know who this person is next to me, and I'm drunk, completely hung over, and have a show to do." "The result is the same, you know?" "When life now is pretty exciting." "You don't know what's gonna happen, when you're kind of clear and here and in the now." "In the moment." "My lifestyle determines my deathstyle" "A rising tide that pushes to the other side" "My lifestyle determines my deathstyle" "A rising tide that pushes to the other side" " I think those two feel the best to me." " It's a tough one to decide." "They all kind of got..." "some charm, don't you think?" "Yeah, I'd be interested to hear the first one." "The first pick." " Well, let's play it." " ls it OK?" " Are we allowed?" " Yeah, we are." " Do we have...?" " We never really settled that, did we?" "We didn't settle it." "Yes." "We're allowed." "I'd like to hear it." "Feel free to leave the room, whoever doesn't wanna be part of that." "Do I have the strength to know how it goes?" "I felt like it was an agreement." "We're gonna work from 12 to 4." "And then we would not work." "Well, if Lars and I listen to something, or go through the Presidio stuff, it's not because we wanna do something behind your back." " It's for you." " Right." "And basically, what I heard is, "No, I can't do that."" " What the fuck is that?" " I don't know, my mind, it gets lopsided." "The more it goes in a different direction, the harder it is." " The harder it is to get that back." " What is it you have to get back?" "Some control." "Some sense of... involvement in the band." "When I was running this morning, thinking about seeing you today, the word "fuck" just comes up so much." "Seriously." "It's really true." " ls that in anger?" " No, just "Fuck!" "Fuck."" "I just think you're so fucking self-absorbed." "And what makes it worse is that you always talk about... you always talk about me, you use the word "control" and "manipulation" a lot." "I think you control on purpose, and I think you control inadvertently." "I think you control by the rules you always set." "I think you control by how you always judge people." "I think you control by your absence." "I think you control all this even when you're not here." "I don't understand who you are." "I don't understand the program." "I don't understand all the stuff, OK?" "I realize now that I barely knew you before." "And all these rules, and all this shit, man - this is a fucking rock-'n'-roll band." "I don't want fucking rules." "I understand that you need to leave at 4:00." "I respect it." "But don't tell me I can't sit and listen to something with Bob at 4:15 if I want to." "What the fuck is that?" "You know, I... I don't wanna end up like Jason, OK?" "I don't want to be pushed away." "I don't want it to happen twice." "Let's do it, and let's fucking do it full-on, or let's not do it at all." "Fuck." "See?" "Fuck." "Fuck!" "Fuck!" " Yeah!" " Whoo!" " Yeah!" " Totally!" "Yeah!" "Let's hear it for Elena!" "Ooh, all right!" "We're not anywhere near getting any issues resolved." "Well, let's get 'em." "That's what we're here to do." "I don't know, I guess the playing part, being in the room, and then mainly being in the room with Lars, playing music together." "I guess I had higher expectations." "And I don't know, maybe I'm disappointed in myself." "Maybe..." "I don't know." "Want to talk about that?" "I mean, what does that mean?" "I'm not enjoying being in the room with you, playing." "Searching" "Seek and destroy" "Searching, yeah" "Seek and destroy" "Searching, yeah" "Seek and destroy lf you are not having any fun, let me let it be known to you that I'm certainly not having a lot of fun, either." "But I am not interested in playing music with you if you're not happy in there." "I just don't want to become a fucking parody." "OK?" "So if you're not happy playing music with me... ls there enough that connects us to hold on for a... a way through this?" "I don't know." "There are moments where I really doubt it." "I really doubt it." "I'm glad you said that." "Because I really, deep down, feel sometimes that it's just..." "There's just some empty, just..." "Just an ugly feeling inside." "Just..." "I don't know." "How much work are we gonna put into this?" " When you're doing the..." " Yeah." "Let's do our little round-table thing right now, quickly." "Everybody's got to participate." "Lars?" "Come on." "Hey, Castor, why don't you look at all the boys - the men, I should say - and say bye to everybody." " Bye, Castor." " Thank you for coming." " ls Daddy going bye-bye?" " No, your dada's staying here, OK?" "Bye." "See you." "So what's the deal?" "How does everybody feel about what they heard?" "Of course, lyrics will definitely work in that feel." " Yeah." " That kind of intro bit that's on there." "What about you?" "What do you think?" "Do you think it's good?" "Was there anything in particular that you...?" "No, I wasn't paying attention that detailed." "That's just..." "It's a lot of good stuff." "I can take you back, when me and him were alone in my room, in 1981, listening to New Wave or British heavy-metal singles." "As soon as there was somebody else in the room, it just became this, like..." "It just had a very different energy to it." " None of that was usable?" " Yeah." " That's a fuck... that's a fucking bitch." " Let's do another version of it, OK?" "The first time I got a real awareness of it was when Mustaine came into the picture." "When James was with Mustaine, he became like..." "He never really cared about me." "There was one time, during the recording of the Ride the Lightning record, where me and him went out, and 42 beers later, he's, like, "Ooh, dude, I love you."" "But it could never have materialized until it got to that 42-beer point." "And we were alone." "That was good!" "Are you sure I don't have to play it again?" "Yeah, I'm sure." "It's good practice, though." " For what?" " The road." " When?" " A couple of years." "From day one, it's been competitive." "And, in a way, that's what has made Metallica what it is." "That's what's driven us further." " What feels good to you?" " I don't know." "We'll try a bunch more." "Can you try maybe like a blah, blah, blah, blah...?" "Almost like a strum." "My parents split when I was 12 or 13." "And then my mom passed on when I was 16." "The only thing I felt that I really had, at that point, was music." "My wanting to keep everything under control, and, you know..." "It's out of a fear of my abandonment issues." "I'm afraid to get close to people, 'cause I don't know how to do it." "I don't know how you're supposed to do it." " Cool!" " That last one was pretty good." "Yes." "That's the first amp I ever owned." "That, right there." " I think we have it." " OK." "OK." "Now we got to talk about it." "You started talking about the idea of the guitar solo, as we have known it, maybe being something that was a little outdated, and maybe reintroducing some riff-a-rama things." "But can I say something that I think is bullshit?" "This whole fucking solo outdates the whole thing." "That's so bullshit." "You know?" "If you put a guitar so... if you don't put a guitar solo in one of these songs, that dates it to this period." "And that's cemented to a trend that's happening in music right now." "I think that's stupid, and I think it's totally trendy." "That's not what I said." "It's always been about, like, where could it go that's kind of new and interesting, instead of repeating something from the past." "I'm not interested in playing traditional guitar solos anymore." " You know, that's just..." "For me it's..." " And you told me that." "...it's just boring, you know?" "To me, if you can add a color to the song that satisfies you and works for the song, then that's what we should do with it." "But I don't want to get in the position where it's, like, we put something down on the tape to satisfy your ego, my ego, Lars' ego or James' ego." "I think it should serve what's going down." "Like, in other words, there shouldn't be, like, a rule of no solos." "There shouldn't be a rule of solos." "It should be..." "And I agree." "I mean, it really is, to me, all about serving the song, and, you know, I feel much better about that." "Because, you know, I just don't want to follow certain trends that I see other bands following." "We don't necessarily have to stick to our traditional way, but we also don't have to follow that trend." "I'm actually very, very comfortable with my role in the band, you know?" "I've actually always been very, very comfortable with my role in the band." "I'm not a really egotistical person." "In fact, I spend a large amount of my time trying to, like, downplay my ego, and get it even smaller and smaller." "That's part of my beliefs." "I try to be an example of being egoless to the other guys." ""Hi!" "This is Kirk from Metallica."" ""And if you want money, you'll listen to us!"" "And then some other guy's gonna give you some cash." "20 years' worth of integrity and, you know, credibility and all that." "The next five minutes is gonna change all that." ""Hey, man, keep it locked right here and..." What?" ""We'll help you score $1,000."" ""This is James from Metallica." "Survey says, 'You need cash."'" ""Your money shot to snatch a bunch of cash is coming soon."" ""ln order to suck both nationwide radio chains off, we are now standing here, having to do this fucking stupid thing."" ""Up to 50 motherfucking grand, goddammit!"" ""Win a bunch of money, and walk away."" "This is stupid!" ""Sharpen that booger-picking finger." "and be the 50th..."" ""Hey, it's Lars from Metallica." "I'm about to stick 50 grand up your ass."" "One dollar at a time." "I was telling Lars last night, that was hard for me to see you guys squirm like you were." " Yeah." " Because I wanted to say anything, and it's not my place to say anything." "I can't imagine Bono or The Edge going on the radio saying... what you guys are being asked to say." " Dad, can I have one of those?" " Go for it." "Shall we catch up on all this radio stuff?" " Uh-huh." " OK." "Now, they're the biggest chain in America." "You know, it's like 75, 80 stations or something." "And if you guys think it's crappy, as a radio thing, those guys think it's good." "I mean, that's their idea." "We didn't come up with that." "So, strategically..." "Why are we doing it, then?" "Just to make them happy?" "Yes." "That's exactly what they're doing." "And, they won't say, "Fuck you, you never do anything for us."" ""We're gonna fuck you on the next record."" "People would do that?" ""Because you didn't give us something, we're going to fuck you"?" "Yes, James." "They would." "I'm not saying that they can always get away with it..." "That's so funny." " ...but it wouldn't stop them from trying." " I'm glad it's your world." "I understand the "wash your back, you wash mine" thing." ""Wash my..." "I'll wash your back so you don't stab mine"..." " Right." " ...is more like it." "OK." "Why don't we get off the phone, then?" "Well, you know, we should have this conversation some more next week." " Later." " OK." "See ya." "Bye-bye." "That's insanity. "We're gonna hurt you 'cause we didn't get something."" ""l wash your back so you don't stab mine."" "Well, that's a good line for a song." "I guess I just want something to rhyme with "mine" right now." ""Wash your back so you won't..."" ""Wash your back, so you won't stab mine."" " "Step on a land mine." - "Keep you in my back pocket."" ""Blind leading the blind..." "I'll rip out your fucking spine."" "OK." "Wash your back so you won't stab mine" "Get in bed with your own kind" "Wash your back so you won't stab mine" "Get in bed with your own kind" " I wanted to really..." " Are you pulling my mike?" " That was really good." " It was." " Really good." " So then add the other part?" "Land mine" "Land mine" "No land mines" "No land mines, rock lobster" "Wash your back so you won't stab mine" "Get in bed with your own kind" "There's a witch at the foot of my bed." " Did you hear what Lars said?" " Uh-uh." "He says, "Yeah, Kirk stopped reading and I stopped moping."" " That's what you said." " That's not what I said." " What did you say?" " I said, "l stopped sulking."" "Oh, "sulking."" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Shit!" "In the 11 months since he's parted company with Metallica, ex-bassist Jason Newsted has been apparently more musically active than his former bandmates." "While Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich was pursuing Napster, and singer James Hetfield battled alcoholism," "Newsted hooked up in the studio with legendary metal band Voivod." "Our own lan Robinson got all the answers on Newsted's new ventures, and the current state of his relationship with Metallica." "A good friend hinted that Jason would really like to join the band again." "Man, I popped his little bubble for a second, and I don't know, man." "I'll be quite honest." "I think the heart and soul of Metallica from this point on, and has been for a while since Cliff died, is the three of you guys." "I think you will never, ever, ever find a permanent bass player." "My opinion." "There was also tragedy in rock this week." "Metallica's bassist Cliff Burton was killed in a bus accident while the band was on tour in Sweden." "He was 24." "Metallica bassist Cliff Burton was buried on Tuesday, in the San Francisco area." "The remaining members of the band..." "Jason Newsted." "He replaced Cliff Burton, who was killed in an auto accident in September." "Jason told MTV..." "It pisses me off that Cliff left us, because we'd never have that initial four guys just going on and on." "You know, when I talk about it, it's like that happened for a reason." "And we're... we're dealing with that." "I got to capitalize on what's being said right here." "The Cliff message that I get from him to you guys is, that treasure the three of you." "Treasure every moment that the three of you have." "And the four of you have." "You know, treasure... treasure it, because you never know." "And one of the sad things that happens when somebody dies is that people have never taken the time along the way to really embrace each other every day." "You know?" "It's a sin if, you know, if you let that go." "Phil has been like an angel for me." "He's been sent to help me." "And, you know, I've got my own thoughts about all that, you know?" "A father figure, the dad that never was, and all of that." "That... it makes me comforted." "It comforts me." "But also, we don't want to have our hand held through life." "We'd like to be able to stand proud ourselves and move on." "There'll be a time for that." "And we just have to discuss when that is." "You know, there is purpose behind the way I do it." "I think it's very effective." "I have to decide whether I'm going to push it... or not." "It sometimes is a distraction." "So what part of our career are you going to manage today?" "I thought I'd do the whole thing, since you guys can't do anything." "I mean, you know, if you guys could run something, then it would be easy to step back." "Because you can't, you know... ls today the first day you're gonna play drums?" " I don't want to get into that." " OK." "I don't think I'm going to do the drums." " I think it's time..." " Maybe I should." " Yeah." "I think it's time." " although, actually, I'm kind of..." "Well, it's about the only thing you haven't done." " I haven't sung." " Right." "We got to a point where we sat down and told Phil that we wanted to scale Phil back to every other week." "And we were getting ready to implement that, four weeks from when the decision was made, and two weeks after the decision was made, we had to sit Phil down and say that we were not ready to do that." "Because we got really... I don't know." "Scared, I guess." "There were some things going on at the time that really Phil helped with a lot." "Live from the news leader in northern California," "Newscenter 4." "Night Beat." "The Metallica versus Napster battlefield moved to San Mateo today." "Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich delivered a list of screen names of people who have downloaded the band's music online." "Metallica is suing Napster, a website that provides software which allows people to download music on the Internet without paying." "Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich testified before a senate committee earlier this month that Napster has, quote," ""hijacked our music without asking."" "The band said that over 350,000 people are downloading its music for free." "A group of former Metallica fans staged a protest at the courthouse." "I don't want anything to do with Metallica anymore." "I'm gonna be trashing their CDs." "I took all my CDs, and I'm gonna be destroying them." "Are you proud of what you achieved with the whole Napster thing?" "Are you proud, in hindsight, of what you pulled off?" "Being the most hated man in rock-'n'-roll?" "Yeah, that was my goal." ""l got an idea."" ""I'm kind of bored this summer." "Everything's going a little too well."" ""Let's see." "I want to turn myself into the most hated, fucking asshole in rock-'n'-roll, yeah."" "Like, good afternoon." "My name is, you know, like, Lars Ulrich, from Metallica." "I worked for years to get where I am today." "Me and my buddy, like, James Hetfield here, have shed blood, sweat, and motherfucking beer, to get where we are today." "Beer!" "Good!" "Who do you think you are?" "I mean, just, you know, because you, like, made us rich, you think you can get free stuff?" "Songs that we spent upwards of, you know, like, 24 to 48 hours writing and recording?" "Our team of lawyers and researchers have your names, and you Napster users, we'll see you in jail getting gang-raped." "Money, good!" "Napster, bad!" "Some minutes, I have all this strength, and I can stand there and just go," ""Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!"" ""I'm bulletproof, it doesn't matter." "I got Hetfield and Hammett, and we're a team, and fuck you." Do you know what I mean?" "And then five minutes later, it means nothing, and I just become really vulnerable." "We never sat there and thought about where Napster was gonna end up." "We never sat there and thought about what shots we were gonna take, we just sat there and thought about, this was something we had to do." "So..." "Wait a sec!" "That was awesome!" "It's like I had to stay on the course that I was on, and stay to my convictions, but it was eating away at me inside." "And then maybe it could go lyrically to "What difference did I/we actually make?"" "It's a great question." "Great." "And if that could..." "It's, like, if that question could get thrown out there, but remain unanswered, I think that's really strong." "All the shots I take" "What difference did I make?" "All the shots I take I spit back at you" " "All the shots I spit back at you."" " That's awesome, dude." "Fucking..." " Fuck me." " Right on." "And that "what difference did I make?" fit right in." "Really awesome." "Right on." "These two kicks, are they the same as...?" " It's different." " OK." "Go to the master." "What really gets my dick hard" " is starting on boom-boom." " We can do that." "You know, there." "Then these are awesome." "Lars, what I want to know is, do the four of you just go in there and just jam?" "You're hearing excerpts of three-hour jams." "You're hearing..." "Look at it as a funnel." "You're hearing the very part of the bottom of the funnel." " Right." " You can almost equate" " what we're doing now to arranging." " You're like Pollock." "The painter." "He is." "He's Pollock, the funnel-arranger guy." "It's gonna sound fucking amazing at the stadium with 100,000 people, and fuckin' raising the evil horns up to the sky and saying," ""Metallica, baby."" "Oh, can we fast-forward to that right now?" "I think what I'd like to do is, I'd like to talk about this touring thing that has come up." "We're very cognizant of the fact that, you know, things have changed for you guys." "And they've changed for many, many reasons." "Why can't we figure out what works best for everybody in their personal lives, plus what works best as a business?" "What if you just do a stadium tour, where you play Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, and then you go home the rest of the week?" "I just want to put out that, you know, there might be a kind of an uncomfortable vibe here, 'cause people might not know how I'm feeling about touring." "And I don't really know, either, you know, until I get there." "And, you know, I wanna tour." "I don't want to fall off the wagon, you know?" "I don't want to go out there." "I don't know what it's like." "Doing things for the first time again, as I think I've said before, it's a little scary." "I don't know about you, but it's, like, summertime, and to me, it's fuckin' beer-drinkin' weather, yeah?" "Well, I'm gonna take time right now and fuckin' have myself one, and I just wanna say cheers to all you guys, and fuckin' thanks for comin' down and gettin' nutty with us, man." "Cheers." "I blew my voice out on the Black Album doing "So What", the cover song." "And we had a bunch of Metallica songs to do after that." "And I went to this coach." "I didn't want to go, I was scared." "I thought he was gonna make me sing operatic." "But I went there, and we just did warm-up stuff like this." "And this is the tape." "And I've had this same tape for... since then." " Was there a turning point?" " Yeah, I think when we had accumulated what we thought to be, you know, a great kind of..." "Uh, I don't know." "...cross section of material, we took stock, so to speak." "The only songs that are gonna make it to the album are the songs that all four of us vote on." "And out of 30-plus songs, only four songs got all four votes." "Sweet Amber" "Sweet Amber" "Sweet Amber" "How sweet are you?" "How sweet does it get?" "How sweet are you?" "How sweet does it get?" " Yes." " Yeah, right." "Wow." "I mean, there's some explosive playing." "The shit just takes off." "It's like you guys have spent all this time to come back to find yourselves." " That's what it sounds like to me." " 17 to go." "Yeah, how are you doin'?" "You wanna hear more?" " Wanna hear some more?" " I'm just getting started." "Yeah." "OK." "Squeeze all within my hands" "Choke within my hands" "I'm madly in anger with you" "I'm madly in anger with you, I'm madly in anger with you" "All this hurt I'm in" "Times, times, at times like this" "You got what you're comin' to" "Destruct without, within, withal I crush your spine, so that gets broken too" "Oh, do it" "Temptation, fill no hole" "No!" "No, no!" "Temptation" "You know, the first four songs you've played me all pretty much knocked me out, OK?" "But if you've got it going, you want it to hammer all the way through." "You want people to be able to really listen and say," ""Jesus Christ, there's no letting up from these guys."" ""There's no fuckin' let-up." Fuck ballads." "You know?" "There definitely is some Presidio stuff that... I felt maybe..." "You got to analyze it." "Maybe you're watering it down in some way." "That's all." " It's your call." " Yeah." ""Temptation." l remember writing that thing." "It came out." "It flowed totally instantly." ""Temptation" kind of sums up all the lyrics that are in this new... kind of project." "So..." "And that's cool, because that was done long before recovery and all that, so... I mean, I can tell that you're singing your heart out." "You're definitely wearing your heart on your sleeve on that song." "To me, it's more like a jam." "is there a song in there?" "Potentially, you know, there's almost nothing there that can't be turned into something better than it is, or something that could probably get pretty fuckin' close to being something on a Metallica record." "You know, but then it just goes away from what the purpose - or at least what I see the purpose being today, which is show up with what you..." "You know, what are your A-pluses?" "You know?" "Well, when I hear Lars talk about we can whip anything into decent shape, I agree." "And we did that on Load and Reload." "And this is us trying to choose before we take it to those extremes, you know?" "Exactly." " That makes sense." " Yeah." "That was a pretty major thing that I think Lars and I clicked on together." "That, wow, I'd heard him, and he heard me." "It's, like, "Oh, OK."" "It's like it takes the cutting edge off of it, or the personal attack off of it, you know?" "Things are a lot less dramatic than they used to be within the chemistry of the four of us." "Less head games, abuse of power and soap-opera bullshit." "But can we just do one thing?" "For lack of a better word, when it comes in with the drums, I just want you to scream "Fuck" as hard as you can fuckin' scream." "Can you stand up?" "Fuck!" "OK." "It should be slower." "It should be more like... I want four of them." "Do it again." "Lars is selling paintings because he's ready to move on to the next ten years, or next decade, or next phase of his life." "And a lot of what these paintings, and a lot of what this house represents, is the last 10 years versus a husband and father of two." "He's getting rid of some pretty major and important pieces, and the majority of his collection." "He's wiping the slate clean." "Midnight, New York City." "One last look at the paintings." "Oh, well." " This is a celebration." " This is a celebration." "This should be your statement of how far you've come..." " It's a celebration." " ...with Phil Towle." "This is a celebration of some paintings that visited us for a while, and now we want to share them with other people." "OK?" " Right, yeah." "That's it." " It's a choice." "OK, cool." "I never looked at it as an investment, but I always looked it as versus some of the other guys who may be, like, taking a big pile of money and parking it in the bank." "I would always, like, take a big pile of money and park it on my wall." "Wow." "I can just feel some of the adulation that other people have thrown at these paintings, and that makes me proud." "I've never been this close to it." "These are great paintings, whether they sell for a dollar or for $100 million." "The only thing that matters is what pleasure and what feeling you get out of that moment you have with that painting." "And it's never been about dollars and cents, it's always been about something greater than that." "But, fuck, they do look awesome." "I mean, fuck!" " It's been a good time." " And it will be a good time." "To the future." "I feel better about this than I thought I would, actually." "It's weird, I don't know why." "Shit!" "$300,000 on the telephone." "It's two of you in the room, selling right, fair warning at $300,000." "Jean-Paul?" "$300,000." "21 is the... ..to Modena on the reverse, the Jean-Michel Basquiat showing on the screen there on my right." " All right, here we go." " Be strong, my friend." " One million nine hundred thousand..." " One-nine... two million!" "One million one hundred thousand..." "three hundred thousand..." "Can we get more cocktails?" "Three million two hundred thousand..." "Four-five." " 720." " Three million dollars." " One-four." " For you, sir, $260,000." "$680,000." "And selling at $5 million." "Brett, yours at $5 million." "All right!" "It went well." "I got myself drunk to numb the pain." "But it went well." "I'm happy." "Like, let's talk about the zone for a minute." "Because there is a way to help a person or persons get in a zone." "I mean, you could consider seriously doing some meditative, or..." "Apply the meditative principles to music, all right?" "I don't want this to sound too way-out, but if you do that, the four of you are out there, and you do it anyway, unconsciously." "You do a musical meditation by starting to jam with each other." "I just think, no matter how you look at it, I've been making records a very long time, and it really comes down to how much work you put in and how much..." "You know, it's just tough." "Sometimes it's just tough work." "And I like to stretch the frontiers of what people accept, OK?" "And I understand about that, and I..." "I don't want for my mind to..." ""The Zone." "Admission is believing."" "I guess I'm not gonna be playing today, then, huh?" "Well, I'm gonna go out and make phone calls." "So everybody's..." "You know, we've had a fabulous few weeks with a lot of great productivity, a lot of really good stuff goin' on." "The more we feel good about ourselves and each other, and the higher we ascend, the more challenging it will be" " to our psyches." " You know, I understand it, I embrace it and all that stuff." "But sometimes it just bugs me." "I think the, uh... that thing was kind of bugging' me yesterday." "All of them around the studio, it was just kind of, like, that way of thinking just doesn't work for me all the time." "And I was a little pissed off at it, because right now in my life it's not really working for me." " I'm glad to know that's what you think." " I agree with that." "Wholeheartedly." "And if you feel that way and wish to share that more directly," " l'd appreciate that, too." " Rather than tearing the signs down?" "Yeah." "We pay him $40,000 a month to be pretty much available at our beck and call." "So when this record's done, do we want to collectively end the $40,000-a-month... full-on thing?" "I'm afraid he's under the impression that he's, like, in the band, you know?" "And I see him comin' on the road, maybe, for a week." "But after that, I don't see him... holding our hand any further than that." "So is that somethin' we want to present to him, then?" " Yeah." "I think, um..." " OK." "I think it's something... it's something we need to do for our own well-being." "Yeah, 'cause I'm feelin' uncomfortable." "Hello?" "Hello?" " Hello?" " Are they on the phone?" "Yeah, they're on the phone and they need you now." "Oh, OK." " James Hetfield is in the room." " Hey, there." " Hey, James, how you doin'?" " Pretty good." "I'm goin' to let Marc do the talkin' here, because Marc was the one who's been talking to MTV." "OK, so, this afternoon the official offer came in for icon." " Assuming you want to do it." " Let's do it." " Cool, man." "Yeah, I'm jazzed about it." " Right." "The only thing that you guys are required to do is show up for rehearsal and then show up for the show on the 3rd, and at the end of the show you guys take the stage and perform a little bit." " So what's Jason's role in all this?" " What?" "Who?" "OK, fine, I mean..." "But I don't think Jason has any role." "He lost his icon status when he left Metallica." " Nice one, Cliff." " Thank you." "I think MTV would like the fact that this would most likely be the introductory performance of Metallica with a new bass player, whether it's the new member or whoever." " When is this supposed to be?" "May what?" " May 3rd." "Saturday, May 3rd." "That means you'd have to hire someone by the 2nd." " OK." " I think it can happen." "You'd be required to be in Los Angeles for all of two days..." "Because we didn't get a new bass player, I think a lot of people thought maybe that we were having trouble finding one." "We never started looking for a new bass player until two months ago." "We worked on ourselves, identified what part can we work on, so when someone else steps in, it's clean." "They're not stepping in our shit, you know?" "All right, thinkin' about bass players, finally?" "So, we're gonna need a fourth member." "You know, we know you're a great bass player." "It's the vibe, you know, we need to make sure..." "Jason kind of triggered this whole thing a couple of years ago." "And..." "I can't believe it's been two years, you know?" "And then we've gone through some..." "We realized that we kind of wanted somebody who was, like, our age." "Somebody who had been around the block a couple of times." " Right, right." " We've grown a lot, man." "The three guys in this band." "And last time when we did this, 14, 15 years ago... 16 years ago, I guess it was." "We literally sat down and started auditioning bass players, you know, the day after the funeral for Cliff." "So now it's 16 years later, different circumstances." "When Jason left, he took his basses with him." "Do you want a four or five?" "Uh, whatever." "What five-strings do you have?" "This one's five-string." "Keep searching" "Keep on searching" "This search goes on, this search goes on" "The band..." "These guys collectively probably own, like, five to 600 guitars, so they're not all here." "Wow." "On and on, frantic tick-tick-tick" "Tick-tick-tick-tock, frantic" "Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tock, frantic" "Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tock, frantic" "Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tock!" "You went into another voice there, dude." "Which one of me are you talking to?" "Think that we should just spend the next two-and-a-half hours with this guy." "Don't you?" "I had a vision of us jamming with him the last hour." "I guess I just feel this is just kind of, like, weird to keep, like, just... doin' our own thing - it just feels not welcoming." "This morning I heard him say he was pretty comfortable." "It's not about what he says." " It's about what I feel." " All right?" " Are we cool, James?" " Yeah!" "I guess the only other thing I'd like to say is, you know, when we leave this up to just how we're feeling, a lot of it depends on how you're feeling." "You know, when you say those things." "Not that I want to break up what you guys are discussing, if you wanna go deeper, you know?" "But I think what might be really good is to treat this with respect, go out and do this." " Yeah!" " Metallica stuff?" "I could..." "I could try "Battery."" ""Battery"?" "You can play that fast with your fingers?" "Yeah!" "Battery" "That's a fuckin' pretty mighty bass sound you got goin' there." "I don't know." "It's the Mesa and the Hiwatt." "is there anything else you know as well as that?" "Cliff..." "It was just, like, you saw Cliff, and me and James went," ""He's in our band, there's no question."" "He hit it out of the park." "And that's where it sorts of gets interesting." "Because if Cliff Burton showed up today, maybe he wouldn't be the guy, either." "I mean, the three guys that I like all have unique features that I would love to Frankenstein, you know?" "Yeah!" "Definitely." " Some kind of monster..." " That would be great." "I don't think you should settle." "I think you should get the right guy." "If you don't hit it out of the park with one of these guys, then you're gonna end up four years down the road in the same situation you did with Jason." "A four-count and then ba-da-bup-bup," " and into the solo right away." " Just follow." "He was the first guy of any of them that didn't look like he was struggling with it." "That's what I told Bob." "But do you know what I mean about, like...?" "You know, with some of the other guys it was sort of 10 percent over their capabilities or something like that." "And you don't feel that with this guy at all." "It's, like, the last three songs, "Sanitarium," "Nothing Else Matters,"" "and what was...?" "There was some, uh..." " "Sad But True."" " They were flawless." "I looked over at him during "Whiplash,"" "and he was just right in the pocket and in there." "And then afterwards, when he played it alone with his finger..." "It hadn't been played that way since Cliff." "It's just, like... huh?" " Yeah." " Yeah, his finger's a pick, you know?" "Yeah." "Yeah, it's three picks." "Are you gonna sack Bob now?" "Well, the second time you came back, I mean, that was, for me, when I noticed that you make us play better, man." " You make the band sound..." " Hell, yeah." "...so much better.." " Wow!" " ...and so solid." " How do you feel about that, man?" " Well, I feel awesome, man." " You're the chosen one." " You looked coolest." "And we want you to be a real member of this band," " not just a hired hand." " Right." "Right, absolutely." " And, um..." " Oh, wow!" "...we'd like to offer you, basically to give... to show you how serious we are about this, offer you a million dollars, to join our band right now." "Right, OK." "And as a kind of a good-faith thing about how serious we are..." "It's an advance." "It's an advance on some percentage" " you're gonna be making with the band." " Right." "Here's money up front to get you kicked in and inspired, and..." ""This is a reality, this is my future." "This is what life can hold for me... with my new family."" "I can't really talk right now." "Invisible kid, never see what he did" "Got stuck where he hid falling through the grid invisible kid got a place of his own" "Where he'll never be known inward he's grown invisible kid, never see what he did" "Got stuck where he hid falling' through the grid invisible kid got a place of his own" "Where he'll never be known inward he's grown" "There's things that I miss, and I'm kinda sad that it couldn't work out, you know, like that." "But there's way, way, way, way more times and way more days and even hours that go by and I'm reminded," ""Dude..." "All right!" "You did the right thing."" ""You know, you did the right thing for yourself."" "I don't know if it's the right time to say this, but, I don't know, I've been thinkin' about our talk." "About, you know, you and us and our future and all of that stuff." "You know, when I heard that you guys were movin' here and all of that, that brought up a lot of fear around, "Wow, what is Phil's perception of, you know, his longevity with Metallica?"" " You know?" "That scared me a little bit." " Well, I appreciate that." "If it scared you, and that's part of the issue going forward, then let me say, we haven't decided we're moving here." "I've tried to make it clear that, um, we're selling... I think..." "We've told people we're selling our house in Kansas City, but that doesn't mean we're moving here, OK?" "And we won't likely move to San Francisco if... if there's not a future out there with Metallica, 'cause it..." "You know, that's my... I want to make sure that the bass player's intact, I want to be sure that the tour's on, and I also, as I said, have performance-coach visions for each of you and for the band." "And I... to me, the work isn't over." "Um, I'd like us to honor what we had, and if you want to be away from... you know, on your own or something for the couple of months that you came back in June, that's... I don't know, I guess I have a problem sometimes, Phil," "with the "Let's see how it works out, let's see how it happens,"" "and then, "No, let's honor what happened, you know, six months ago."" "You know?" "That's kind of strange to me, you know?" "Because I think that you use those things when they're convenient at times, you know?" "Personal stuff or business things, and, I don't know." "I don't know." "The boundaries are..." "I don't know, becoming more clear to me." "Um..." "There's that element of... trust that just kind of floats with you with me." "And I'm really sorry about that." "That... that... you know." "I've been swimming uphill on that one for a long time with you, and I'd like for us to be able to resolve it." "But maybe we can't." "I've got to tell you that I..." "You know, if the client, either James or us, says..." "You know, then I really think that needs to be respected without..." "You know, just, you know, the old turn-the-knife thing in there?" "You know, it just..." "you know, if the client says, you know, "Time out for a while," time out." "Yeah." "I agree, although our process, what we usually do..." "Then it should be put on the table, but left on the table, and we should be able to walk away without what you're saying right now, which is now there are trust issues and stuff." "I don't know how to separate out... ln its simplest form, I think it's a conflict of interest that you tell him that he needs you around more." " lf he..." " No, no, no, no, no..." " ...wants to take a break." " I'm not saying that." " I'm saying..." " I see that as a conflict of interest." "Look, I am saying you guys have made a decision." "It's OK for me to say I'm not happy with that decision." "The premise is you guys don't need me." "And I'm good with that." "Anyway, you go." "It's..." "Anyway, let's jam." "Great, I'll see you guys." "I'm takin' off, I'll see you next week." "Have a good one." "Thanks, man." "Who's in charge of my head today?" "Dancing devils in angel's way" "It's my time now, it's my time now" "It's my time, yeah, it's my time" "Look out, motherfuckers, here I come" "I'm gonna make my head my home" "The sons-of-bitches tried to take my head, tried to make me someone else instead" "You've been in the band for five minutes, and already you're an icon?" "It's such an honor, and, you know, I'm stoked, so..." ""Your voting interest will equal your percentage interest in a new Metallica account, while each of our voting interests will be one-third of the difference between 100% and your percentage."" "This is about as lawyer as you get, but really..." " It's sort of laying out..." " Yeah, it lays out the deal." "For instance, in the first period, you have five percent, OK?" "So when we do a vote, you get 32 votes, you get 32 votes, you get 32 votes, you get five votes, in any vote, OK?" " But this doesn't mean anything." " I think it's crap." "I mean, I... I think in the spirit of what we're trying to do, we've got to do 25, and then Q Prime's the tie-breaker, that's..." "That works." "That's fine." "Cool." "Now, here this also says "You will not be required to fund any losses in the new Metallica account, but we will be entitled to recover any losses out of future profits."" "For instance, buying the documentary is not your problem." "If the documentary loses money and the company never makes any more money again, it's these three guys' problem." ""What did you do with your money?" "l went and bought a new car, I bought my mom a house," and we went and bought a documentary." "You know, it was just, you gotta keep in the spirit of this thing." "By the end of this week, we're gonna have an album title." "In three days, we're not gonna have to agonize about this anymore." "Well, the thing that stood out to me was "St. Anger"..." "It's strong." "I mean, there's..." "Iconic strong, you know?" " Yeah, I agree." " I like that title quite a bit." "It's so easy just to say, "June 17th is St. Anger's Day."" " Yeah, I know." "It's true, that's cool." " No, I mean it's a... I think "Frantic" is a better album title." "I think that's..." "it's more about the record." " But "St. Anger"'s a good..." " It's an original statement." "St. Anger." "St. Anger." "Well, this is an angry record, but you read the lyrics," " it's angry in a healthy way." " Right." " This is also a frantic record..." " Getting stuff out." ""Frantic" is more like they're tryin' things that they don't... they're not exactly sure of." "They don't know what they're doing." "They're trying to climb back up the mountain again..." " Right." " They're not sure of themselves." " We don't have to take it..." " That's fair." "I mean, hello." "That's a fair thing." "I mean, if you think that "Frantic"" "has a negative connotation to it, I never thought of it like that." "If it's "St. Anger," they're gonna form an image of," ""These guys are angry, I know it." "They're angry about Napster, they're angry about the new stuff that's coming in, they're angry about their lives." "I'm angry, too." "I get it."" "I think you guys know the idea about trying to shoot a video in San Quentin." "So let me get this straight." "You're gonna go to a maximum security prison, and Metallica's gonna play "St. Anger" really loud." "Yeah!" "St. Anger round my neck" "St. Anger round my neck" "He never gets respect" "St. Anger round my neck I've been asked to come out here and talk a little bit about what this song means to us." "Anger's an emotion that I've struggled with for pretty much all my life." " St. Anger round my neck" " It's rushing out, it's rushing out" "He never gets respect" "There's a lot of misspent anger that has come out sideways for a lot of people." "including yourselves." "And if I hadn't have had music in my life, it's quite possible I could be in here, or not even in here, be dead." "And, uh, I'd much rather be alive." "Madly in anger with you, I'm madly in anger with you" "I'm madly in anger with you" "I'm madly in anger with you" "I'm pretty nervous up here, I don't really know what to say." "I'm just tryin' to share some of what's goin' on for me." "I'm not here to sell nothin', that's for damn sure." "Everyone is born good." "Everyone's got the same size soul, and we're here to connect with that." "So we're very proud to be in your house and play some music for you." "Thanks." "More than any other record..." "I don't know if you guys feel that, but for me, this is like a product of what we're just doing hanging out." " You know what I mean?" "It's like..." " It's almost like a diary." "Yeah, a diary." "It's, like, here's our memories on CD, you know?" "Like, we've proven that you can make aggressive music" " without negative energy." " Yeah." "OK?" "And I don't think anybody ever thought that that would be possible." "Do you know what I mean?" "You can make something that's aggressive and fucked up, with positive energy between the people creating it." "Yeah." "It hit me, you know?" "This project's coming to an end, and, I don't know, I think I'm kind of bummed about that." "I'm just kind of liking the schedule that happens, or the safeness in that." "Coming here, being able to talk." "Creating, you know?" "And..." "And, uh..." "I don't know." "I've been kind of coming down from this for about the past month." "I mean, getting up at five in the morning and just pacing my apartment." "Just not really knowing what the hell I'm doing, either." "So I'm with you." "Like, I don't want to let you go home." "I mean, man, I don't know." "I really appreciate that." "That's really nice of you to say." "I don't know if I could feel myself kind of protecting myself with some depression or some thing, wanting to just kind of isolate." "And I don't want to do that." "I want to feel the sadness of... I mean, I didn't feel depressed, I felt sad." "And that's when I knew it was something different than just me..." "My old stuff, you know?" "I mean, there is some of that, but..." "Sadness and depression" " I guess I don't really know the difference." "And, Phil, all the stuff that you've brought here to..." "Like, you've set out all the tools." "You know?" "And you allowed us to build what we've built, you know?" "With guidance." "I really appreciate your bringing what it means, forward." "And there is a difference between sadness and depression, clearly." "This is the hugest chapter in my life." "If I could have my wasted days back" "Would I use them to get back on track?" "Stand back, stand back." "Keep away from the car." " I love you." " I love you, too." "If I could have my wasted days back" "Would I use them to get back on track?" "You live it or lie it, you live it or lie it" "You live it or lie it, you live it or lie it" "My lifestyle determines my deathstyle" "Determines my deathstyle" "Keep searching" "Keep on searching" "This search goes on, on and on" "Keep searching, keep on searching" "This search goes on, on and on" "Frantic" "Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tock, frantic" "Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tock, frantic" "Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tock, frantic" "Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tock!" "Thank you so much for supporting Metallica through all the rough times and all the great times." "Metallica loves you!" "Yeah!" "Fuckin' A!" "Metallica!" "Metallica!" "Metallica!" "These are the eyes that can't see me" "These are the hands that drop your trust" "These are the boots that kick you around" "This is the tongue that speaks on the inside" "These are the ears that ring with hate" "This is the face that'll never change" "This is the fist that grinds you down" "This is the voice of silence no more" "These are the legs that in circles run" "This is the beating you'll never know" "These are the lips that taste no freedom" "This is the feel that's not so safe" "This is the face you'll never change" "This is the god that ain't so pure" "This is the god that is not pure" "This is the voice of silence no more" "Some kind of monster" "Some kind of monster" "Some kind of monster" "This monster lives" "This is the face that stones you cold" "This is the moment that needs to breathe" "These are the claws that scratch these wounds" "This is the pain that never leaves" "This is the tongue that whips you down" "This is the burden of every man" "These are the screams that pierce your skin" "This is the voice of silence no more" "This is the test of flesh and soul" "This is the trap that smells so good" "This is the flood that drains these eyes" "These are the looks that chill to the bone" "These are the fears that swing overhead" "These are the weights that hold you down" "This is the end that will never end" "This is the voice of silence no more" "Some kind of monster" "Some kind of monster" "Some kind of monster" "This monster lives" "Are we the people?" "Some kind of monster" "Some kind of monster" "Some kind of monster" "This monster lives"