"This is a totally new experience for me." "Going out with a guy I actually like." "Well, you seem really good together." "Oh, yeah." "You need a moment alone with that wall, or..." "You know how people say that everyone has a soul mate?" "Yeah." "Benjamin and I both hate those people." "Well, then it's meant to be." "I know." "Okay." "I'll see you later." "Seriously though, stop humping my wall." "What are these?" "What?" "Why do you have all these pictures of me?" "What?" "What do you mean what?" "There are hundreds of pictures of me." "Oh, God, all right, please don't freak out." "Look, a few months ago I saw you on the street, and I thought that you were just impossibly hot." " So you started following me around?" " No." "Not always." "As I got to know your schedule, sometimes I'd just hang out and wait for you." "So it was almost like you were following me." "This is so disturbing." "Or flattering?" "No, you took pictures of me without me knowing it." "You hid behind bushes." "Hey, hey, look, we could go back and forth all day about who did what." "I gotta get out of here." "Please wait." "Can we just talk about this?" "Come on!" "You wanna go after him?" "I'll give you a ride." "So the good news is that snowstorm we've been tracking will miss us entirely." "We can expect at the most a light dusting on this beautiful Valentine's Day." "They're still saying it's not gonna snow." "So I guess I just slipped and fell in the irony." "Can I leave a little early today?" "Yeah, sure." "What's up?" "You know, first Valentine's Day with Lena." "It's kind of a big deal." "What are you doing for Valentine's?" "Mom's making a pot roast, and we're gonna watch wrestling." "Yep, tomorrow can't come fast enough for me." "Hey, can you guys get some of your stuff cleaned up?" "That's the decorator, and I really want him to be able to see the room." "Decorator, huh?" "Yeah, I'm really excited." "He's one of the best in the city." "It's a winter wonderland out there!" "Perry, welcome." "What do you think?" "Okay, first impressions:" "I love the space." "I love the light." "I love the- fellas!" "Well, it's over." "Bye, Benjamin." " He still hasn't called?" " Nope." "I thought I hated Valentine's Day before." "Well, if it makes you feel any better, my boyfriend's in Chile." "So I'm kind of in the same boat." "Really?" "Is your boyfriend coming back?" "Yeah." "Does he think you're a deranged stalker?" "No." "Get the hell out of my boat." "He could still call." "He's not gonna call." "Well, then maybe call him." "At least you'd be doing something." "Go down swinging." "Go down swinging?" "It's over." "I'm already down." "People ran out of their houses to see what the giant thud was." "Come on, what if there's a one percent chance that you could save this?" "Okay, fine." "I'll call." "But not in front of you losers." "It's hard not to root for her." "Hey, it's me." "Listen, I'm sorry about the pictures." "You have every right to be freaked out." "And if by some chance you ever want to talk to me again, then I'm on my cell, but I totally understand if you don't." "But, um, I just wanted to say that the last three weeks have been awesome, so, uh, yeah." "That's it." "Rock on." "I can't believe I just said rock on." "That was unfortunate." "Okay." "Bye." "How'd it go?" "I don't know." "I did it." "Aw, good for you." "Yeah..." "Rock on." "And we're now being told it could be a record two feet of snow over the next six hours." "Motorists are cautioned to stay off the roads due to treacherous driving conditions." "I can't believe you're stuck in Atlanta." "I know, sweetie." "I miss you too." "Honey, they're saying we absolutely have to stay off the roads." "Oh, baby, it's killing me too." "Ma, you can watch wrestling alone!" "So I guess we'll just hang out." "Well, I say we make the most of it!" "Uh, what does that mean?" "I'm sorry, but just because we can't be with our honeys, doesn't mean it's not Valentine's Day." "This is my holiday." "Well, this and Thanksgiving." "And Christmas." "And the Academy Awards." "What do you wanna do?" "When life hands you lemons, make chicken picatta!" "But it's Valentine's Day." "How can we not be together?" "I don't want you driving." "It's fine." "It's just a silly, meaningless day." "But it's our first one." "Every day is Valentine's Day for us." "Now I'm sending you a hug." "Okay, bye." "Hey, can I borrow your truck?" "You kidding me?" "You behind the wheel in a blizzard." "What won't you hit?" "Please, I'll be so careful." "I have to be with her." "Oh, take Yonk's Hummer." "Really?" "Oh, thank you." "Now, sometimes people in Priuses will flip you off, but as Yonk says, you can just roll right over 'em." "I want to see you, too, but the roads are closed." "Nobody's going anywhere." "I know." "I miss you more." "I thought I was the gay one." "Oh, well." "At least I'm not the only one having a crappy day." "You know what?" "Forget Valentine's Day." "Let's do our own thing." "We'll call it "Snow Day. "" "What do you say?" "I'm in." "You?" "I'll be in if I don't have to say "I'm in. "" "There you go." "Let Snow Day begin!" "You are definitely not the gay one." "Heat." "* And the palm trees start to sway *" "Oh, no-no-no-no!" "No, no, no, no, no!" "Really who's surprised." "Hi!" "Hi, baby!" "Hey, Kat." "Hey, Kyle." "Happy Valentine's Day." "You skied here from your house?" "It was so exhilarating." "Um, can I talk to you for a sec?" "Um-hmm." "She skied here." " Hate her." " Hate her more." "Those guys are so great." "When are they leaving?" "Um, when the snow stops I guess." "They're kinda stuck here." "Oh, I just-I had all these Valentine's Day plans for us." "Yeah?" "Like what?" "Well, I was gonna make fondue, and I have massage oil and this hot samba CD." "And I was also thinking that we could, like, have a bunch of sex." "Hey, Snow Day buddies." "Uh, listen, a little change of plans." "Palmer and I are gonna move things upstairs." "While you guys get to keep the fun going down here." "Are you kidding me?" "Uh, I was just dumped, and his boyfriend's in South America." "And you just want us to sit down here while you go upstairs and have sex with your girlfriend?" "Yes!" "Okay, come back in!" "Whoa." "How did you do all this?" "Oh, please, this is like Thursday at our house." "Now, you didn't have much in your kitchen, but I did the best I could." "We'll be starting with the gnocchi Parisienne." "Followed by a blanquette de veau with parsleyed peas and duchesse potatoes." "And to finish, pears flambé." "Ah, man, I'm gonna eat all that crap." "A toast!" "Even though they can't be with us, here's to the ones we love." "Oh, excuse me." "To the ones we love." "Right." "On the way over here I was thinking about all the ways we could do it." "That's so weird." "I was thinking about that every minute I've been awake since I was 12." "Oh, the flame went out." "Here, hand me the matches." "Uh, we're all out." "I'll get some more." "Hurry back." "Oh, you're a good motivator." "Hey, guys, how you doing?" "Something wrong?" "Nope, just need a lighter." "For what?" "The flame went out on our fondue." "There's fondue?" "Um, the guys would like some fondue." "But I only made enough for the two of us." "Is it chocolate or cheese?" "They're up here?" "I prefer cheese." "I'm just saying." "Just a little taste." "They're having a really crappy Valentine's Day." "Fine." "Served with love." "We want to do the dipping!" "Apparently fondue isn't fun unless you can dip it yourself." "Fine." "Hi." "Hello." "You were right." "I shouldn't drive." "Oh, no, where are you?" "I'm in a hedge." "Are you okay?" "I think so." "I just-I had to see you." "Uh, well, then here, you can see me this way." "I'm taking a picture with my phone." "Oh, look at you." "Are those balloons behind you?" "Um, they're just my everyday balloons." "You did a whole Valentine's thing." " It's okay." " No, it's not." "I should be there." "No-no-no-no!" "Don't you leave that car." "I'm coming." "No-no-no-no, Richie Velch, you stay where you are." "You're not hearty." "I can do it." "No!" "Richie, are you okay?" "Snow in my pants!" "Snow in my pants!" "Okay, I'll go first." "On Valentine's Day Holly and I tend to get particularly randy, if you know what I mean." "You and Holly?" "Oh, yeah, I mean, we have a highly sexual relationship all the time." "But throw in a cupid and a box of chocolates, and sing out, Louise!" "Okay." "Not to get too graphic, but we're in our bed, which is this gorgeous Queene Anne four poster with a hand-carved headboard." "And I am just giving it to her!" "All of a sudden, whack, she smacks her head on the headboard, and the next thing you know, seven stitches, horrible scuff on the headboard!" "And that is my worst Valentine's Day ever." "You go." "Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna top that." "Come on, come on!" "Worst Valentine's Day ever." "Or no dessert for you." "All right, um..." "Okay, I, uh," "I once broke up with someone on Valentine's Day." "Well, quite the raconteur." "And m'lady?" "Uh, mine's a little worse." "I was, um, broken up with on Valentine's Day." "Wait a minute, you mean you two were" "When was this?" "Ten years ago." "And you broke up with her on Valentine's Day?" "What happened?" "I don't know, man." "You sure can spin a yarn!" "Why did he break up with you?" "You'll have to ask him." "I've never actually been given a good explanation." "Okay, uh..." "I broke up with you because you were kind of a bitch that night." "You were in this real crappy mood, and it really pissed me off." "So when I got home I called you up." "I told you it was over." "Because I was kind of a bitch that night?" "Yup." "I called you the next morning to get back together, but your mom picked up, so I hung up." "And later I heard that you were going out with Paul Karchem." "We went out once." "Yeah, I heard that a lot later." "Anyway, that's what happened." "Well, I always say everything happens for a reason." "If he hadn't done that, you wouldn't have married the man of your dreams." "So another toast!" "To happy endings." "All righty then." "I'm gonna go check on dessert." "You may wanna refill that." "Mmm." "It's incredible." "We'll be done in a sec." "It's really hot." "Mm." "Take your time." "We need a minute anyways." "Okay." "At this point the night can go one of two ways, we can sit here and watch your friends eat cheese, or we can kick them out, get naked... and I can massage your entire body without using my hands." "Guys, let's wrap it up!" "Oh, my God!" "Happy Valentine's Day." "Oh!" "Look at you!" "Oh, and your poor hair." "Don't break it." "Oh, my valentine." "I had flowers, but I dropped them when I lost the feeling in my hands." "Because I was kind of a bitch that night?" "Not a raging bitch?" "Not a bitch in general." "Just a bitch that night." "Wow." "All these years I figured there was some big profound thing." "You had met someone else, or you felt trapped." "But it turns out to be literally the dumbest reason ever." "I know." "We could have been together all this time if it weren't for" " For" " Yes!" "And whatever you're gonna say right now, do you think a single day has gone by in the last ten years that I haven't said that to myself?" "All I wanna do is I wanna go back." "I wanna go back to that stupid 18-year-old kid, and I wanna shake him." "I wanna tell him, "You don't know what you're doing. "" ""You don't know what you're giving up. "" "I wanna tell him that ten years from now you're gonna be in a room, and there's gonna be candles and wine." "It's gonna be so freakin' romantic that you're gonna wanna cry." "You're gonna be there with the woman you love." "But you're not gonna be able to kiss her because of what you did ten years ago, you stupid, dumb kid." "Pears flambe!" "Oh, my God!" "At our house it's not Valentine's Day unless there's something flaming." "Wanna hear something lame?" "Always." "There's a small part of me that actually thought he was gonna call me back." "I'm sorry." "Well, at least I didn't let myself care about him." "Hey, how long have you and Aaron been together?" "Four years." "God, I cannot even imagine that." "Well, actually, that's not true." "For the past three weeks I was imagining that." "Thanks." "Hey, they're plowing the street." "Really?" "Yeah, we could probably go." "Do you want to?" "Yeah, we should probably get going." "Oh, my God." "Sorry." "It's mine." "Sure." "Hey, you." "Oh, you too." "Oh, God, I miss you so much." "You're here." "I am." "It's kinda stalkery, don't you think?" "So I didn't totally wreck this?" "I like that answer." "Do you wanna come in?" "Unless you can think of a better place for us to rock on." "Honey, I can't believe that is Valentine's Day and we're not together." "I miss you so much." "Yeah?" "What would we do if I were there?" "N- n-naughty." "What are you wearing?" "With which blouse?" "No, I'm just surprised you didn't say the beige one." "Honey, I'm sure it looks fine." "But we always said the cream top but with the camel slacks." "Well, when I get home I am going to come in, and I am going to rip that blouse right off you." "And then you'll put the beige one on, and you'll see what I mean."