"what are you doing here?" "You're not dropping out are you?" "Louise is dropping out of the league championship?" "Did you shoot yourself in the leg again? and then this happens." "Cam." "I invited Mitchell to join my gay bowling team..." "The Britney spares." "I designed the shirts." "Yeah." "It's not important who gets the credit." "it was iffy." "But then I practiced and I practiced until the shoe-rental guy called me "decent." "I'm not here as a teammate." "I'm here on official police business." "What?" "Please tell me that is not you." "Man:" "What is that?" "no." "Oh." "Oh." "no." "Hmm." "That's fizbo..." "Mm-hmm." "With a scary mask." "That's clearly not me." "It's not him." "No!" "Who would do that?" "Who would take something so beautiful and turn it into something so ugly?" "How did the guy get the costume?" "who knows?" "Your father gave it to charity." "By accident." "How did I not hear that fight?" "Was I in town?" "case closed." "I'll see you guys tonight." "What?" "No "case closed." "We haven't even found the perp!" "the only reason I was following up on this is 'cause I thought it might be you." "but we have to get my costume back." "We have to restore fizbo's good name." "right?" "Wow. and you won't even allow me 30 seconds to have an emotional reaction?" "it sounded fast as I was saying it." "{\cH00ffff}Captions by vitac... inc." "so you can." "And now for the finishing touch." "Franks for frank!" "Dad's bachelor party's gonna be epic." "You couldn't see it." "That's why..." "boom!" "fudge." "Is this a bachelor party or a party where ladies sit around watching "the bachelor"?" "And why did you get me a triple-xl?" "The lady said it'd shrink in the wash." "How's it gonna do in the trash?" "Jay." "Kidding." "I'll use it to wash my car. which means that I am finally getting a brother! my folks got me bunk beds." "Marty's in a mood again." "Excuse me." "Do you serve crabs here?" "We serve anyone." "right?" "Nailed it." "this is ray." "Wow." "I guess we're gonna be brothers." "Bring it in." "Ah." "Oh!" "Oh!" "No." "Oh!" "What's happening?" "We're brothers!" "Isn't this what brothers do?" "but I love it!" "Whoa!" "This guy totally tried to touch my ding-dong." "Oh." "I didn't know it was that kind of party." "I guess you didn't see the white wine and fudge." "White wine?" "That's not gonna get me there." "Am I the only one who sees me choking that guy out tonight?" "I don't know. and I-i felt a lot of him." "He's just a little wound up from the drive." "I'm sure you'll find he's a real solid citizen." "The sap across the hall left his door open." "That's my room!" "I guess you'll need these." "thanks for agreeing a withering farewell under a harvest moon"..." "So catch... the tears of angels." "So catchy!" "Right?" "It's a story of four women who come together to mourn the loss of the family patriarch." "so very sad." "crazy." "We haven't even started." "Claire. and old men die." "this is a thought huh?" "Please don't make me part of this. feel free to share your thoughts... but also the negatives... any words you didn't know. but I want to hear it out loud first to be sure I've hit all my emotional marks." "why all female characters?" "write what you know." "I understand women." "I don't feel like I am one." "110 pages?" "What time are we supposed to get out of here?" "you got a hot date tonight?" "don't be mean." "Ignore her. but I've been hiding it from everybody because I have once again chosen somebody that is completely inappropriate." "It's this older guy..." "Ben." "and he lives with his mother." "I'm like a moth to a flame if the flame is an underachieving man-child with a tasmanian devil tattoo on his butt." "this is going to take longer than I expected." "Can you wait there?" "Sure." "anyway." "she gets real handsy with me." "either." "curvy Emily blunt but Indian." "Ben." "One of my regulars at the coffee shop is always asking if I want to do some motorboating." "I'd go. but... never mind." "I'll just get it engraved." "how can you be thinking about bowling at a time like this?" "You mean as we're going in to our bowling championship?" "Oh." "Text message." "Read text message." "Female voice:" "You have a message from Martin." ""I keep picturing you guys"" "holding the trophy later tonight." "Just kidding." "You're not invited to my victory party." ""Ha ha."" "Oh." "Martin." "Mitchell." "Where's the rest of Britney queers?" "Martin." "The Britney queers were eliminated weeks ago." "by us." "all will fall to the gay city bowlers." "I forget." "Do all the names have to be puns?" "Yes." "It's like hair salons." "Martin." "I'll see you in the alley." "I'm sure you say that to a lot of men." "Mitchell!" "Fizbo!" "What?" "Over there!" "do you think it's possible with how upset you are about fizbo that... that maybe you're seeing things?" "Oh." "No." "Maybe it's another guy with purple hair and a size 23 shoe." "Maybe Dennis rodman bowls here!" "And we begin." "Lights up on the living room of James pickett. but his money couldn't buy taste." "Enter four women in black returning from a funeral." "James' widow Chloe Dubois-pickett"..." "That's me!" "a beautiful French commoner who married up." "là là." "the granddaughter..." "Cute as a button and just as smart." "I like her. 60s." "There's no problem she can't solve except her own loneliness." "James' daughter Kate... fleeting moments of warmth." "Fleeting moments of warmth"?" "I get it." "This is the story of the four of us through some sort of distorted Manny lens." "I end up a spinster?" "Mm-hmm." "You know what I could be doing right now if I didn't get seasick?" "calm down." "These characters are a compilation not you people." "let's start." "Kate enters and crosses straight to the credenza." "As she pours herself a much-needed glass of wine"..." "Mm." "Right." "I can't believe the old grump didn't die years ago." "Nice." "My first line is something horrible about my dead dad." "How cold do you think I am?" "Didn't I just say it's not you?" "though?" "What?" "get over it"?" "20 minutes ago." "hang on a second. so I'm just gonna go grab a water real quick." "come on." "Who are you texting?" "Ahh!" "No one." "I'm just reading my horoscope." "Liar." "Why would anyone read their horoscope so late in the day?" "Everything's already happened." "isn't there?" "What?" "No. your one bra that fits properly..." "spill." "fine." "There is a dude." "is it?" "No." "He's legal." "He's just embarrassing in a different way." "You know you've been like this your whole life... sexual part of you. but you do." "And if this guy is fun and good to you let it be okay." "Haley." "Thanks." "I don't know but how about you save it for over there?" "And then I sent you the cutest video and what do you text back?" "She's getting him fat so that he tastes better at lunch"?" "so what?" "My crime is I'm hilarious?" "please?" "Kate just said she couldn't believe then... emotional. your papa would be devastated to hear you say such insensitive things." "Really?" "Are you gonna do the whole accent thing?" "Lo and behold..." "What do we see?" "The queen of spades is gone!" "Where could she be?" "In frank's pocket." "I saw you put it there." "So it is!" "Phil." "ray." "I thought this was supposed to be a bachelor party." "Where's the female entertainment?" "don't you worry about that." "What are you doing?" "!" "Calling time of death." "not you ladies." "of course." "we really appreciate all the riveting you did during the war." "Dad was enjoying them." "Just as well." "I'm about to be married." "I don't need to be tempted bums." "is that it for the planned activities?" "we're just getting started. the best oysters in the desert. 'cause I have four balcony seats to Mr. Neil..." "Please say "diamond." "sedaka." "What a night!" "we need some ice." "I'll be right back." "What the hell's uno?" "Sort of a thinking man's crazy eights. there is a casino downstairs with actual big-boy drinks." "I'm right behind him." "We'll grab Phil on the way." "Or wouldn't it be fun for him to try and find us?" "he'll love that! I just saw that psycho imposter clown out by the dumpster giving me threatening looks." "flouncy..." "It's fizbo." "I'm talking to you." "I don't have time for your clown nonsense." "We've got a championship to win." "I'm gonna go warm up with the pindigo girls." "Why does this have to be happening today?" "maybe it's happening because it's today." "Maybe somebody is trying to get in my head to throw me off my game." "do you really think people care enough to... there are six people just in my eyesight that would do anything to break my winning streak." "Martin." "He's never forgiven me for making him feel like your father was in love with him." "it couldn't have been Martin." "three seconds before you thought that you saw fiz..." "Actually saw." "Okay." "And what's this about my dad?" "Fine." "It's not Martin." "But it certainly could be señor kaplan." "seis." "señor kaplan." "I'm not interested. and can anybody account for your whereabouts? but I happened to be in the photo booth taking some solos." "I'm gonna use number three for my new passport." "I would use number two." "There's a twinkle in your eye." "But I have a different theory and it would have given you exactly enough time to change out of a clown costume into your bowling outf..." "Torrent downloaded from RARBG." "no." "I just saw..." "I just saw fi..." "fizbo in... in... in the mirror. we like to call it loco en la cabeza." "you know what?" "Knock it off." "You're Canadian." "You all seem to forget I'm not alone." "I have Albert." "and I defy you loving..." "Parrot. but then we got into a fight over a cracker." "Kate whispers to Bailey as they watch the widow sadly plunking notes on the piano." "How long do we have to stay with her?" "right? I would never see you again. you refuse to accept that I accepted you." ""Mais non."" "I'm sorry." "I'm just so emotional today." "Chloe." "And I'm sorry if I made you feel like an outsider." "you know?" "Je t'aime."" "too." "Black out." "Bravo!" "Bravo!" "Manny?" "My character gets into a fight with a parrot over a cracker?" "I told you that story in confidence." "And for the record..." "I am nothing like my character." "I'm not lonely at all." "I have tons of options." "I'm actually going to see one right now." "I'm no longer ashamed of talking about him." "Ooh!" "Who is it?" " No one." " What's his name?" "Nothing." "if that's it for the feedback... actually..." "Oh." "Yay." "the ending felt a little trite." "I love you"..." "I just..." "I think women are more complicated than that." "Manny." "The ending was beautiful." "It's just that some women have a hard time expressing their feelings." "this again?" "I'm a very feeling person." "really?" "From the woman that writes in my birthday cards" "Claire." "How is that not warm?" "I am wishing you quite literally the best." "I am a person in your family." "I am not the woman that does your eyebrows." "Why would I send her a birthday card?" "Claire"?" "Gloria." "I even dot the "I" with a huge heart." "too." "Why?" "Why can't you tell me that you love me?" "I don't know why I can't tell you that I... and then the moment passed and time went by and then it just felt forced." "You... you say it all the time." "One could argue that dilutes it." "so now it's my fault?" "I am lashing out at you because this is not the first time" "I've been accused of this." "Gloria." "I love you." "I love you." "Mm." "Okay." "you're right." "It is trite." "Sam!" "Come on." "Come on! and I will literally frame you for murder." "No pressure." "Mwah!" "I wonder what that's about." "shh!" "shh!" "Hmm." "You two seem awfully chummy. you bet your bowling balls we're chummy." "my gosh." "I just put it all together." "You're both fizbo. creating the perfect alibi." "Light-bulb moment!" "This clown thing again." "if I wanted to get back at you say something like I certainly wouldn't do it by stealing your stupid bozo suit." "It's fizbo." "sweetie. which I would use to mount the multi-pronged smear Campaign to drive a wedge between you and everything you love." "Wow." "That's maybe a bit of a red flag." "And then I'd get several credit cards in your name and then embark on a massive identity-theft scheme that would leave you bankrupt facing criminal charges." "That's what I'd do." "huh?" "maybe we should take a beat on meeting your parents this weekend." "What do you say?" "All right." "What?" "Bravo!" "Bravo." "If you think your little over-the-top revenge monologue then you are sorely mistaken." "Now open your bag." "What?" "open your bags!" "you got to stop." "hey!" "You're paranoid." "You are paranoid." "No one is dressing up..." "I hate it when you're right." "What... oh!" "There he is!" "Chase him!" "Get him!" "Stop!" "Imposter!" "Oh." "ma'am!" "We're in pursuit!" "okay." "Thank you!" "Okay." "We lost him." "Wait." "His mask." "It smells like beer and cheese fires." "that's good investigative work." "Yes." "You've narrowed it down to everyone in the bowling alley." "Uno." "There you are." "We've been looking all over for you." "in the room where the party is?" "Don't worry." "We didn't forget about you." "Boop." "I hope it was worth it." "We missed our reservation to captain scupper's." "Phil." "We ate." "Pit boss sent some shrimp cocktails over to our craps table." "am I right?" "Yeah!" "You... you had to be there." "I get it." "You had shrimp and drinks. maybe we could get back on schedule." "We don't want to miss sedaka's opening act..." "Extremely little Richard." "is he small!" "Change of plans..." "I traded those tickets for seats to "sexcalibur." "You what?" "It's a dirty "medieval times." "Are you kidding me?" "Phil." "I waited 79 years to see Neil sedaka." "I can wait another 79." "dad." "You're being too nice." "not yours!" "You're ruining this whole night." "You ruined it when you planed it." "And get that finger out of my face. and nobody tells me where to put my finger." "Boop!" "Here we go. not a 10-year-old brother!" "You're the baby!" "but you're the baby." "You're no Marty!" "but maybe we should..." "I know." "I thought it was gonna get good." "that's enough." "Stop." "you're being ridiculous." "but you seem like a horse's ass." "now!" "Grow up!" "Start acting like gentlemen." "would you two mind stepping out in the hall for a second?" "I need to have a word with Phil." "but hurry up." "We don't want to miss the unlacing of the first wench." "I really appreciate I'm happy doing whatever." "Is something else bothering you?" "I don't know." "dad." "I guess I'm kind of afraid that this is the end of an era." "with that." "You're not losing me." "you're gonna be seeing a lot more of me." "Lorraine and I have been kind of kicking around the idea of moving to California." "To be closer to me?" "Yes." "And to be farther from ray." "we just saw evil fizbo again." "It's true." "I was there." "We lost him in the parking lot." "we looked in every car." "there has to be something you can do." "I'll look into it if you can focus on bowling." "I can." "There you are." "I've been looking all over for you." "It's your turn." "Sorry." "I was in the ladies room." "I was putting icyhot on my hammies." "Mm." "Ahh!" "Ohh." "D-did you do something to your hand?" "I just hurt it playing air hockey." "They got rid of the air hockey table months ago." "I was..." "Wait... w-wait..." "Wait a minute. and t... and it is..." "It is the same shade as the lipstick on your beer." "You're fizbo?" "You wear lipstick?" "But you're on our team." "Why would you do this?" "Because you bug me." "That's it? you take all the credit." "Everything's about you." "You messed with his head so he'd lose us the team championship." "opening the door for... for you to be captain." "I should be captain." "Give me my fizbo." "You get out of my face." "no." "Hold on." "Hold on." "Is there still a chance that we could win this?" "Not unless we can pick up 57 pins in one frame." "Yeah." "And you get out of his face." "fruit of your father's loins." ""Mitchell's" fine." "speaking of Jay..." "You brought him up." "your father and I had a moment..." "Uh-huh." "A couple of years ago when he was pretending to be gay so that he could bowl in our league. but what I felt from him..." "It was just so very real. but my dad is potentially the straightest man on the planet. do you think maybe you could give me his phone number?" "It's just always felt like unfinished business to me." "I am not giving you his phone number." "I'll give you my trophy." "It's 3-1-0..."