"Look at that car ..." "Is it not neat?" "It must be a Ford." "No, it is not a Ford." " Then what it is?" " I do not know, but it is not a Ford." " Leonard, what are you doing?" " What does it look like?" "Somebody might be coming." "No one is coming." "What is wrong?" "Leonard, honey." "Better get dressed." "Your breakfast is ready." "We will begin with a history test." "Keep your eyes on your own papers, and at recess bring your books to me." "Hi, Mrs Lowe." "Can Leonard come out today?" " No, I am sorry." "Not today" " How about tomorrow?" " He will not be well then either." " When will he be well?" "I do not know." "Thank you for coming by." " Excuse me ..." " You have to ask her." "Bainbridge Hospital, can I help you?" "Dr Franklin and Dr Tyler   are in a meeting." "Can I take a message?" "I am Dr Malcolm Sayer, I have an appointment." "Take a seat, please ..." "Bainbridge Hospital, may I help you?" "When you say people, you mean living people?" "I apply for a research position in the neurology lab." "We have an x-ray room." "This is a chronic hospital." "The position is for staff neurologist." " You will be working with people." " A doctor, Doctor." " Any patients at the Carmel Institute?" " Earthworms." "Sorry?" "It was an immense project." "I was to extract 1 decigram myelin   from 4 tons of earthworms." "I worked on that for 5 years, everyone else said it could not be done." " It cannot." " I know that now." "I proved it." "Maybe before ... at St Thomas?" "All research?" "We are understaffed ..." "He has never worked with human beings ..." "Excuse me, you are looking for someone with a clinical background." "As much as I need a job, there must be 100 more suitable applicants." "How about medical school?" "You could not graduate without some clinical experience." "You took a pulse, a temperature." "You did diagnosis." "There you have it, then." "You do want the job, do you not?" "This way, Doc ..." "You spend much time in a chronic hospital?" " You would remember." " I guess not, then." "We have M.S., Tourette syndrome, Parkinson's disease   some of them we have not got a name for." " What are they waiting for?" " Nothing." " How will they get well?" " They will not." "They are chronic." "We call it the garden because all we do is feed and water them." "Mr Kean?" "Can I ask ..." "I was born 1 91 1 in Kingsbridge, New York." "I came here in July 1955." "Prior to that, I was at Brooklyn Psychiatric Center." "Prior to that, I was a person." "It gets easier." "You do not think it will, but it does." "No, Buttercup ..." "Go to your house." "Good morning, Doctor ..." "I have a new arrival for you." "She was brought in late last night." "Here is her file." "Hello, I am Dr Sayer." "Do you know where you are?" "Can you hear me?" "Medical insurance?" "Her name is Lucy Fishman." "She was found with her sister   many days after her sister died." "She has no living relatives." "She has always been as she is now." "With no response or comprehension." "And yet ..." "A reflex." "If she batted it away, but she did not." "As you can see, she caught it." "It is still a reflex." "If you were right, I would agree." "It is as if, having lost her own will, she borrows the will of the ball." " The will of the ball?" " Excuse me." "You are trying to make a good impression, that is it, right?" "You are still settling in." "Miss Costello, see to it that Dr Sayer's waiting patients   are rescheduled for tomorrow." "Borrows the will of the ball?" "That is great." "Okay, thank you." "Let us know if she catches anything else." "I will be fired." "It is all right, I will go back to school." "Did I forget something?" "No, I wanted to say that I preferred your explanation." "I will look after things for you until you have settled in." " Good night, Doctor." " Thank you." " Hello, I am Dr Sayer." " I am Waheedah." " How are you today?" " Fine, thank you ..." "Yes, sorry." "What form?" "Yes, I will hold." "Okay." "Three, one, two." "Thank you." "Bye." "Hello." " Yipee!" "We are in orbit." " Now we can try being weightless." "Let us celebrate with delicious Nestle's Quick." "Nestle's chocolate flavour is out of this world." "Hello up there, time to recharge with delicious Nestle's Quick." "Lucy ..." "You are out ..." "Anthony, would you help me ..." "move this?" "Excuse me." "Lucy, you are almost there." "Here is the water, Lucy." "I wonder why your nails grow so fast?" "It must be all that Jello they give you." "Jello, Jello, day after day." "Red Jello, yellow Jello, every day Jello." "I forgot to tell you, Mrs Cooper passed away." "Remember her?" "She was nice." "Always a kind word." "Her dog I could have done without." " Excuse me?" " Hello." "Does he ever speak to you?" " Of course not." "Not in words." " He speaks to you in other ways?" "How do you mean?" " You do not have children." " No." "If you did, you would know." "It says "atypical schizophrenia"." ""Atypical hysteria", this one." ""Atypical nerve impairment"." ""No change since last examination."" ""No change or therapy recommended."" "Very nice." "This one is "No change", dated 9l1 1 l44." "That is 25 years." "At a point all these atypical somethings ought to amount to a typical something." "But a typical what?" "Doctor, do you want to go for a cup of coffee or something?" "Tea?" "Normally, I would say yes, but I made other plans." " Some other time." " Yes." ""Encephalitis lethargica"." "Where is it?" "Sorry, I thought someone had left the light on." "I found the connection." "They all survived encephalitis   years before they came here." "See?" "In the 1920's." " Is it not wonderful?" " Yes, I will come back later." "How many have you found there?" "Five." "And I believe there are more." "How are they?" "As you described them back then:" ""Insubstantial as ghosts"." "Only I guess ..." "many of them were children back then." "Yes, children who fell asleep." "Most died during the acute stage of the illness." "Those who survived ... who awoke   seemed fine, as if nothing had happened." "We just did not realise how much the infection had damaged the brain." "Years went by." "Five, ten, fifteen   before these strange, neurological symptoms would appear." "But they did." "I began to see them in the early 1 930's." "Old people brought in by their children." "Young people brought in by their parents." "They could no longer dress themselves or feed themselves." "They could no longer speak in most cases." "Certain families went mad." "People who were normal   were now " " elsewhere." "What is it like to be them?" "What are they thinking?" "They are not." "The virus did not spare their higher faculties." " We know that for a fact?" " Yes." " Because?" " Because the alternative is unthinkable." "I am all for fixing this place up, but, what are we doing?" "I have a hunch." "What stops Lucy from reaching the fountain?" "Nothing." "Exactly, the visual field just stops." "There is no pattern." "Nothing to compel her to keep going." " So, we are making something." " Exactly." "She is looking out the ..." " I want to know more about your son." " Certainly." "Something was wrong with his hands." "He could not write anymore." "He could not do the work." "I should take him out of school, they said." "He was eleven." "Slowly, he got worse." "He would call me and I would come in and he was sitting at his desk   in a trance." "One hour, two hours ..." "Then he would be okay again." "One day I came home from work and found him in his bed." "He kept saying, "Mum, mum?" ..." "His arm was like this, reaching." ""What do you want, Leonard?"" "He never spoke again." "It was as if he disappeared." "Later, that year, I took him to Bainbridge." "It was ..." "November 1 4, 1 939." "He was twenty years old." "What did he do for those nine years in this room?" "He read." "He loved to read." "He read all the time." "Really?" "That was all he could do." "That is enough." "All right, Leonard." "We are finished." "Nothing, nothing, nothing and ..." "Nothing." " It is one of your statues." " Exactly." "Pass the salt." " What about this." " What do you mean?" "It is a strobe." "You are wrong." "All of this before is the strobe." "This is me saying his name to him." "Excuse me." "Straight down the middle." "Home it in there!" "I can catch the ball." "Throw me the ball!" "Is this all of them?" "Bring them in here with the others." "I should have given David his divorce." "I thought he wanted to be a father ..." "The patients have been given their morning medication." "Dr Sayer hoped you had some free time." "Come with me, please." "This is a beautiful aria." "Watch them closely for any reaction." ""Call me Ishmael."" ""Some years ago, never mind how long precisely,   having little money, and nothing in particular to interest me on shore."" "I know you can hear me." "Try to respond when I speak your name." "It is not just any music." "It has to be right for them." "It is as if they are only moved by music that moves them." "I have not found anything that moves Bert, yet." "They sit there all day, if I let them." "I have to play the first card." "Leonard ..." "L ..." "This is Frank." "Help me get him to his feet." "There is something else that reaches him ..." "Human contact." "Stand over there for a minute." "He cannot walk without me." "If I let go of him, he will fall." "I will not let you fall." "But ... he will walk with me anywhere." "It is like the ball, it is my will he is borrowing." "The will of another human being." "I will begin by moving the pointer to L for Leonard." "When I sense you move the pointer, I will stop and you will take over." "Do you understand?" "..." "All right." "I will begin." "No, maybe I did not make myself clear." "My fault, I ..." "L ..." "Good, good." "Now the E." "E, good." "S ..." "P ..." "You are spelling something else." ""His gaze, from staring through the bars,   has grown so weary that it can take in nothing more." "For him, it is as though there were a thousand bars   and behind the thousand bars, no world." "As he paces in cramped circles, over and over,   his powerful strides are like a ritual dance around a centre   where a great will stands paralysed." "At times the curtains of the eye lift without a sound and a shape enters,   slips through the tightened silence of the shoulders,   reaches the heart, and dies."" "Have you heard of a drug called L-dopa?" "It is a synthetic dopamine." "Yes, for Parkinson's patients ..." "Why?" "Excuse me, sorry!" "100 years would pass before modern neuropathology   would allow us to locate the damage in the Parkinsonian brain." "With our development of the drug L-dopa, we can for the first time promise   the Parkinsonian patient a more normal life by administering L..." "I am very curious about this drug." "Have you come across anyone who ..." " Excuse me, Dr ..." " Sayer." "Have you come across any patients with encephalitis?" "After I am through, Dr Sayer." "If you would not mind." "As I was saying ..." "by administering L-dopa." "Do you think an extreme Parkinsonian tremor   would appear as no tremor at all?" " Are you talking to me?" " Oh, yes." "Imagine you accelerated a hand tremor to the point of immobility." "Imagine a patient with all the Parkinson symptoms accelerated." "The hand tremor, the head bobbing, quickening of speech." "Might they not cave in on themselves and turn a person into stone?" "I do not know." "Maybe." " Do you think L-dopa would help?" " Dr Sayer, right?" "I am a chemist, you are the physician." "I will leave it to you to do the damage." "Freud believed in miracles, prescribing cocaine as candy." "We all believed in Cortisone until our patients went psychotic on it." " And now it is L-dopa?" " I think it is too soon to say that." "With all due respect, I think it is way too soon to say that." "Let the chemists do the damage, Doctor." "But I ..." "Dr Kaufman, did you read this case?" ""New drug lets Palsy patients eat Jello."" "Yes, I read them all." "Dutifully, soberly." "All 30 cases had mild Parkinson's." "Your "Parkies", if that is what they are, have not moved in decades." "Perhaps you should look at it again, sir." "You know better than to make such a leap." "You want a connection;" "that does not mean there is one." "What I believe, what I know, is that they are alive inside." "How do you know that?" "Because they catch tennis balls?" "I know it." " How many did you think could have it?" " All of them." "Some ..." "One." "One." "With the family's consent, signed." "Leonard has Parkinson's disease?" "No ..." "His symptoms are like Parkinson's disease   but then again, they are not." "What will the medicine do for him?" "I do not know what it will do for him, if anything at all." "What do you think it will do?" "I am not sure, it was designed for a totally different disorder." "What do you hope it will do?" "I hope ... it will bring him back from wherever he is." " To what?" " To the world." "What is there here for him after all these years?" "You ..." "You are here." "All of it, please." " At 200 mg, he showed no response." " Maybe the juice's acid neutralised it." " Maybe he needs more." " Maybe he needs less." "I will try it in milk." "500 mg." " I will call if there is any change." " Yes." "Thank you." "It is quiet." "It is late." "Everyone is asleep." " I am not asleep." " No, you are awake." "May I?" "Me." "Leonard, there is someone here to see you." "Mum ..." "Mum!" " My name is Eleanor." " Eleanor." " It is a pleasure to meet you." " It is a pleasure to meet you." " Ladies?" " Now, what did I do?" "Oh, my goodness." "How do you do, sir?" "My name is Margaret." "Beth." "Anthony." "How are you?" "Great man." "How are you?" "Great, too." " Did you meet him?" " Did he not look good?" "I could not deal with losing 30 years of my life, could you?" "He does realise it, does he not?" "Turn this way, please." "It is a camera called a Polaroid." "Thank you." "Takes a picture in less than a minute." "Amazing." "Now, we could try this." "Splendid ..." "I would like you to walk to the end of the room." "Ready?" "Go." "Very good." "And back now." "That was very quick ..." "Let me get some more film." "You have to at least lay down." "You need the rest." "I am afraid to close my eyes." "If I close my eyes I will ..." "You will sleep." "When you wake up in the morning, it will be the next morning." "I promise." "Baby's boat, a silver moon, sailing in the sky." "Baby is fishing for a dream, fishing near and far." "Sail, baby, sail   out upon that sea." "Only do not forget to sail back again to me." "What a wonderful place the Bronx has become." " That is my school." " Really?" " Is that classical?" " You can pick any type of music." " What is that?" " It is rock 'n' roll." "Come on in." "No, something happened while you were away." "It is called pollution." "Leonard, that is not wading, that is swimming!" "I do not know if the hospital is covered for this." " Come on!" " No." "Leonard, the tide is coming in." "That is the Periodic Table of Elements " " I can date my introduction to science by that." "It is wonderful, really ..." "It is the universe at its essence." "You have your alkaline metals." "You have your halogens, your inert gases." "Every element has its place in that order." "You cannot change that." "They are secure, no matter what." "You are not married?" "Me?" "No ..." "I am not very good with people." "I never have been, Leonard ..." "I like them." "I wish I had more than a rudimentary understanding of them." "Maybe, if they were less unpredictable." "Eleanor would disagree with you." " Eleanor?" " Miss Costello." "She has spoken to you about me?" "What did she say?" "That you were a kind man." "That you care very much for people." "I would like to put the others on the drug." "I realise this may be expensive." " Have you got any idea how expensive?" " Yes, I talked to Ray." "I have an estimate ..." "The pharmacist says giving all the rest the same dosage as Mr Lowe would be   1 2,000." " How much?" " $1 2,000." "A month?" "I cannot go before the board with that." "How about speaking directly to the patrons?" "They already give what they can." "We must convince them to give more than they are accustomed to." " Perhaps, if they see Mr Lowe." " You overestimate his effect on people." "We are talking about money." "There was an extreme rigidity of the axial musculature." "This is a gross impairment of the postural reflexes." "It is a brain stem type of rigidity." "A meningismus." "What is most striking is the profound facial masking   which we now know is not to be confused with apathy or catatonia." "Less scientific." "Calm down!" "Some things could reach him, though." "The mention of his name, notes of a particular piece of music." "The touch of another human being." "But these awakenings were rare and transient, lasting only a moment." "Otherwise he was as you see him here, in a metaphorical,   if not physiological, equivalent of sleep." "Or even death." "This was his condition when I found him at this hospital   and the quality of his life for the last 30 years." " Now?" " Whenever you are ready." "My name is Leonard Lowe." "It has been explained to me that I have been away for quite some time." "I am back." "Here we go." "Take her away." "Thank you very much." " Dr Sayer!" " What is it?" "It is a fucking miracle." " Where are my glasses?" " On your face." "Can this be so?" "I am talking." "I am walking ..." "Who are you?" "Thank you for coming." "Things are a little different today." "I ..." "I had the strangest dream." "I have to take your blood pressure." "I have been sitting for 25 years, you missed your chance." " I need some make-up." " Okay, we can take care of that." "And some dye for my hair ... black." " Black?" "Rose, are you sure?" " Yes, it has always been black." "Dr Sayer, something about fruit trees." " Prune the fruit trees." " I will." "I want a steak, rare." "Mashed potatoes and gravy." "String beans." "I was aware of things, but nothing meant anything to me." "It was no connection to me." "There was a war or two." "This morning I went to the bathroom all by myself." "I think I liked them better the other way." "Rolando, can you speak to me?" "It is Miss Costello." "Do you understand me?" " Lucy ..." "What year is it?" " What year is it?" "It is '26, silly." "Come on, Miriam, be a sport." ""Like crowds storming the Bastille, the Mighty Mets stormed their locker room   on their night to remember." "And touched off one of the loudest, wildest,   wettest victory celebrations in baseball history." "Released from ridicule after seven destitute seasons, they raised the roof."" " Hi, Sydney." " Hi." " Will we go to the same place?" " Actually, I do not know." "Everybody stay together!" " Bring Leonard back." " Anthony, will you get Leonard?" "Everyone, please stay with the group." " How is my father doing?" " The same." " Mum, maybe you should not go." " Of course, I want to go." "You cannot be there, Leonard, or the door will not close." " I do not understand." "Sydney is going." " He is a patient." " Not the same kind of patient." " He is still a patient, you are not." " I am your mother." " Are there any other mothers going?" "What have you done to your hair?" " It is a tire." " I know ..." "I am not an idiot." " You treat me like an asshole." " We will take care of that." " Are you ready?" " I will stay here." " Why?" "What is wrong?" " I am okay, I just ..." "Wave." "Doctor, come on!" "Are you sure?" "Are you all right?" "I am fine, I will see you later." "Have a good time." "Hi ..." "Meatloaf, please." " Meatloaf." " Meatloaf, too." "Are you following me?" "I am sorry, I was only kidding." "I saw you upstairs just now." " Are you visiting someone?" " No." "You work here." "I live here." "You are a patient?" "You do not look like a patient." "I do not?" "I have always loved carnegia." "Dr Sayer ..." "Did you choose this place?" " Why?" " I always come here." "It is a nice place, but after the first hour, it loses something." " Anthony thinks the group is bored." " They are." "I thought about taking them to the Opera House ..." "Or the Museum of Natural History?" "No ..." "There are a lot of dead, stuffed things there." "Where else is there?" " Is it legal again?" " Yes, for some time." "Ladies, what can I get you?" "A Rob Roy on the rocks." "Make that a virgin Rob Roy." "I work night shifts at this diner." "Sometimes before work I come to see my father." "He used to go to all the games, so I like to read him the sports pages." "I do not know if he knows I visit him." "My mother does not think so." "But, you do." "Sometimes I think I see something ..." "I think I see a change." "And for a moment, I see him like he was before the stroke." "And then it is gone;" "I am not sure I saw anything." "Does that make any sense?" "Yes." "So, why are you here?" " I receive medication." " For what?" "Without it, I am sort of like your father." " But I am okay now." " That is good." "I was so sure he wanted overeasy with bacon, wheat toast, black coffee " " I brought him his food without taking his order." "He just said: "You forgot the tomato."" "We were out of them." "That is why I did not give him one." " It was really nice talking to you." " It was nice talking to you, too." " Paula?" " Yes." "He knows ..." "Your father knows you visit him." "Doctor, these are my friends." "Is he not the cat's meow?" "Miriam, I do not know how to say this, so I will just say it ..." "Your husband " " was granted a divorce from you in 1953." "Thank God!" "Look at that!" "Pontiac Firebird, 400 engine ..." "Now, that is a car, man." " Lucy, may I have your hand?" " Take me away from this place." " Wrong." "It is here." " I guess I lose." "I guess your luck is changing ..." "Very nice." " How is it going?" " How is it going?" "Yes, how do you feel?" "Well, my parents are dead, my wife is in an institution,   my son has disappeared out West somewhere ..." "I feel old and I feel swindled." "That is how I feel." "I stopped by the hobby shop and got more pencils." "And I got this ..." "A small T-square." "I can use that, yes." "That is really nice." " I will be right back." " Leonard?" "He never talked about girls before." "He certainly never had anything to do with them." "It is a bit ridiculous, all this girl business." "Do you not think so?" "He is a grown man." "He said I should take a vacation." "Go away for a few days and relax." "I am sure he meant you deserve a vacation, which you do." "I cannot leave him alone in this place." "He would die without me." "Girls!" "Hello?" "..." "Dr Sayer?" "I have to talk to you." "Leonard?" "I think it is important some things were said." "I just have to talk to you." "What kind of things?" "Things that matter, that have happened to me." "Things I now understand." " Where are you calling from?" " Your office." " It is very late." " Is it?" " You stay there, I will be right over." " Good." " Dr Sayer, sit down." " Why?" "What is wrong?" "We have to tell everybody." "We have to remind them how good it is." "How good what is, Leonard?" "Read the newspaper." "What does it say?" "It is all bad." "People have forgotten what life is all about." "What it is to be alive." "They need to be reminded of what they have and what they can lose." "What I feel is the joy of life, the gift of life, the freedom of life!" "He says that people do not appreciate the simple things." "Work, play, friendship ... family." "He was so excited he talked until 5 o'clock in the morning." " Is it liberation, mania ..." " Or love?" "Yes." "What he is saying is right, though." "We do not know how to live." "But at 5 in the morning!" " Waheedah ..." "How are you?" " I am fine." " Mr Lowe, are you all right?" " Yes." " What is it that you want?" " The simplest thing." "And that is?" "To go for a walk if I want to, like any normal person." " You are free to go for a walk." " I am?" "Alone?" "What difference would it make?" "Look, I am not a criminal." "I have committed no crime, " " I am not a danger to myself or others." "But I am not allowed to walk by myself." "You did not wake a thing, you woke a person ..." "I am a person." "Are you aware of the unconscious hostility you exhibit towards us?" "How can I be aware, if it is unconscious?" "I am curious." "What would you do if you went out?" "I would go for a walk, look at things, talk to people." "Decide which direction I want to go." "All the things that you take for granted." " And that is it?" " That is it." "All right ... we will take this into consideration, and we will let you know." " Are you all right?" " Yes, it was nothing, I was nervous." "What did they say?" "That there was insufficient data at this time   and that continued observation was necessary for a diagnosis." "It is a different world out there that you may not be prepared for." "They could not be held responsible for what might happen to you." "They said no." " And what did you say?" " They do not have to listen to me." "Did you agree with them?" "Yes." "I am not sure we are out of the woods yet and that this ... is nothing." "It is an experimental drug; we need time to evaluate things before ..." " Leonard, where are you going?" " For a walk." "This is Dr Sayer ..." "Where are you going?" " I am going outside." "Patients are not allowed beyond this point." "Do not make it hard on yourself." "I just want to go for a walk!" "He is not a mental patient, this is unnecessary." "Let him go!" "Please, he is not violent!" "I do not understand it, he was never any trouble before." "He was quiet, polite and respectful." "He never demanded anything." " He was never disobedient." " Because he was catatonic, Mrs Lowe." "I am speaking of when he was a boy." "I am sorry." "I do not know who that is up there." "I do not think he knows." "You turned him into something he is not." "It is not us that are defective, it is them." "We are not in crisis, they are!" "We have been through the worst and survived it." "They fear it." "Because they know." "They know!" "They know!" "Because we ... remind them " " that there is a problem   which they do not have an answer to." "They will never be healers until they realise this and see the problem." "Until they admit there is a problem, and that the problem is not us." "We are not the problem, they are the problem!" "He has not been able to release anger for 30 years." " As the others." " I think his behaviour is more natural." "You think his tics and paranoia are signs of normal behaviour?" "Yes, because he is in this place ..." "We wake him up and lock him in a cage." "That is not paranoia; that is a fact." "I have 20 psychotics refusing to eat, who have no idea why they are doing so." " How long should that go on?" " He knows why." "He wants out." "Mr Lowe is not the Messiah of Ward 5." "He is a man in trouble." "He was not resurrected, he was given a drug by you." "A drug which is not all that miraculous." " The others are fine ..." " He has been on it longer." "I sympathise with him   but I will not let him endanger the health of the other patients." " Excuse me." " We cannot allow it." "He is all right." " How are you today?" " I am all right." " How are you?" " Never better." " What is the purpose of these gentlemen?" " These gentlemen protect me." " I wish I did not need them." " Someone is trying to hurt you?" "Who?" "That is the thing, is it not?" "Who?" "One never knows." "Someone I least expect." "Look at history." "Every patient on this ward thinks there is a plot against him." "They are mistaken, they are crazy." "You have got worse." "The drug is not working." "All you are experiencing are the side effects,   they make you behave this way." "I appreciate you coming to see me, but I have things to do." "Please, look at yourself." "No, look at yourself!" "I have a sickness." "Sickness took me out of this world, and I fought to get back." "I fought for 30 years, and I am still fighting." "But you ..." "You have no excuse, you are just a scared and lonely man with nothing!" "No life, nothing!" "You are the one that is asleep." "Your medicine could be taken away ..." "They can do that." "You can wake up in the morning and it will not be there." "Get away from me!" "I am all right." "Thank you." "I just fell." "Help me." "Can you walk?" "I will not let them take the medicine away." "We will work together." "He has had a reaction to the drug." "He has tics." "He is not concerned with his appearance   but with how it will affect the other patients." "We will work on his dosage;" "he is prepared for any effects." "He wants the others to be prepared." "You have to help me with this." " Hi, Leonard." "Welcome back." " Thank you." " How are you doing?" " Are you all right?" " It got so quiet round here." " Because we were waiting for you." "You are looking good, Len, better every day." "What if he has just had enough of it?" "What if it is just a matter of time for all of us?" "There is no medical reason to think what happens to him will happen to you." "Why not?" "You are all individuals ..." "And you are well, are you not?" "That was lovely, Lucy." "I learned that song a long, long time ago." "I know what year it is." "I just cannot imagine being older than twenty-two." "I have no experience at it." "I know it is not 1926." "I just need it to be." " How are you, Leonard?" " Never better." "How are the others?" "Are they talking about me?" " They are scared." " They should be." " Can you stop this?" " I am not sure, but I am trying." " Do not give up on me." " I will not." "425, yes." "I got a postcard from my son." "I am all right, and then everything stops." "There is no warning, it is like a light switch going off." "Something has to bring me back." "A sound, a touch,   and then I can move again, I am okay again." "It is not that I feel bad, it is just that I feel nothing." "It is as if I am dead." "Nothing." "It is as if I am not a person anymore." "Just a collecion of tics." "Not that I mind them." "Sometimes they make life interesting." "I am not sure who is in control, me or them, but they should not be there." "Up to 5." "Just a little more ..." "It feels good when I am working." "I feel good here." " The book list is coming along well." " I would love to see it." "That is all right, another time." " What is happening?" " You have an oculogyric crisis." "Get the camera!" "I cannot do this ..." "I will turn the camera off." "No!" "Watch, watch!" "Learn, learn, learn ..." "Learn for me." "Let us see ... 625." " 675, just ..." " Okay." "I cannot read anymore!" "I cannot keep my eyes in one place." "I keep going back to the beginning, the beginning ..." " I have let everybody down." " No." "I have let you down." "I have, I am grotesque." "You are not." "I will not listen to this." "I am grotesque." "Look at me and tell me I am not!" "You are not." "This is not me!" "When my son was born healthy, I never asked why." "Why was I so lucky?" "Had I deserved this perfect child?" "This perfect life?" "But when he got sick, you can bet I asked why, I demanded to know why." "Why was this happening?" "There was nothing I could do about it." "No one I could go to and say:" ""Stop this." "Please, stop this."" ""Can you not see my son is in pain?"" "My son is in pain." "Please, stop this!" " He is fighting." " He is losing." "I worked ... had friends over, went dancing." "That is about it." "That is great." "I have never done any of those things." "You will." "They will never let me out of this place ... and they should not." "I am still not well ..." "as you can see." "I feel well when I see you." "I will not ... see you anymore." "I just want to say goodbye." "Is that not sweet?" " Now?" " Whenever you are ready." "My name is Leonard Lowe." "I now know I have been away for quite a while." "I am back." " What is it like to be back?" " I thought it was a dream at first." "When did you realise it was not?" "When I spoke and you understood me." "You told him I was a kind man." "How kind is it to give life ..." "only to take it away again?" "It is given and taken away from all of us." "Why does that not comfort me?" "Because you are a kind man." "Because he is your friend." "The summer was extraordinary." "A season of rebirth and innocence." "A miracle." "Fifteen patients and for us, their caretakers." "But now, we have to adjust to the realities of miracles." "We can hide behind science and say it was the drug that failed." "Or that the illness itself had returned." "Or the patients unable to cope with losing decades of their lives." "The reality is ... we do not know what went wrong or what went right." "What we do know is as the chemical window closed   another awakening took place." "That the human spirit is more powerful than any drug." "That is what needs to be nourished." "With work, play, friendship, family." "These are the things that matter." "This is what we had forgotten." "The simplest things." " Well ..." "Goodnight." " Goodnight." " Eleanor?" " Yes?" "What is wrong?" "I was wondering what you are doing tonight?" "If you have other plans ..." "No, I was ..." " You have no plans?" " No, I have no ..." "I was wondering if you ... we ..." "you and I could ..." "If we could ... go for a cup of coffee?" "Yes, I would love to." " My car is over here." " What do you say we just walk?" "Let us begin."