"Hello." "Good evening ." "My name is Amy." "How many are you?" "Do you have reservations?" "Great." "Hello." "My name is Chloe, and I'll be your waitress." "And this is Martha." "She'll be trailing me." "Hi ." "Hi ." "My name's Adam ." "I'll be your waiter tonight." "Marlon ." "I'll be servicing you ." "My name is Stanley." "I'll be your waiter." "I went to Juilliard ." "Would you like to hear about our specials?" "We have a puree of carrot soup." "That's a vegetarian base, so there's no dairy in that." "Our appetizer special is..." "Tuna tartar, served with a very light pinch of " "We've met before." "Our special entree this evening is..." "My Halloween party last year?" "No?" "The bunny suit." "That wasn't you?" "You sure?" "is..." "Steak au poivre with pommes frites." "Au poivre -- poi-- poivre." "Served with pom-mes fri-tes." "That's pepper steak with French fries." "Sandra?" "Sandy?" "Sarah ." "You're Sarah?" "No?" "I'll be right back." "Can I start you out with something to drink?" "Perhaps our special drink tonight." "Tar-tar?" "MAN :" "Tartar." "Tartar." "A lovely pinot noir from the Napa Valley region , hmm?" "CHLOE :" "We don't have the salmon croquettes." "MARTHA:" "Did I mention the salmon croquet?" "Croquette?" "How do you say that?" "We don't have any, so it doesn't matter." "And we don't having the salmon ." "The croquetas de salmon, no tememos." "Ooh , you're gonna like this." "And tonight's my first night, so bear with me." "AMY:" "If your party is all here, I can show you to your table." "Okay." "Follow me, please." "If you fold it this way, it doesn't stay up." "But if you fold it this way." "This is the Le Gamen way." "Like a vagina." "It's the only way we'll get men to wipe their mouths." "Hey!" "In the kitchen !" "Hey!" "Do me a favor." "Run that back with you , would you?" "Where's Brian?" "Doesn't he tend bar on Saturdays?" "He sold out, moved to L.A." "to "expand his professional options," is how he put it." "That's too bad ." "[ Telephone ringing ]" "The place won't be the same without him ." "People come." "People go." "Nothing ever changes." "How's the book look, Ames?" "The usual ." "Le Gamen ." "Amy speaking ." "[ Dial tone ] Ineedyourarmsaroundme, I need to feel your touch" "Gracias." "Oh,hey,yeah,yeah{y:i } lneedyourunderstanding, I need your love so much" "Youtellme  that you love me so" "Youtellme thatyou care, but when I need you" "Baby{ y:i}" "Baby{ y:i}" "Hey!" "Get out." "What?" "I'm sorry." "Did you say something?" "I swear to God , Marlon ." "Why is it every time my shirt's off, one of you bozos appears?" "Did you guys drill a fucking hole?" "A hole?" "Let me tell you something ." "I don't need cheap thrills." "is it too much to ask for a little goddamn privacy?" "Like I'm down here to catch you changing ." "I should be paranoid ." "Look at these pecs." "[ Scoffs ] Give it up." "Not every guy wants to jump in your pants." "And , Becky, one more thing ." "Nice tits." "[ Man singing in Spanish ]" "Kitchen ." "So this is your first time waiting tables?" "Yeah ." "I don't have to work in an office and the hours are flexible and you get paid in cash ." "It was this or prostitution ." "How long have you been here?" "Pantry." "You know prisoners that get released , and then commit a crime so they can come back?" "That's me here." "It's hell , but it's home." "Well , have you thought about giving yourself a time limit?" "No, honey." "Lover." "I am not saying you don't know what you feel ." "I'm saying you don't know what you're talking about." "I am not lashing out." "I'm not." "I am not lashing out!" "I'm sharing ." "Oh , yeah , I did that." "If I didn't make it by 25, that was gonna be it." "Which then got pushed to 30, which has now been pushed to 35." "I set goals for myself, then I don't meet them ." "It's addictive." "You should try it." "Dishwasher." "What will you do if you quit?" "Listen , I've got a great idea." "Why don't we get together tonight after my shift, and we can talk and work the whole thing out?" "What do you say?" "Hello?" "Hello!" "I'm seriously thinking about becoming a chimp." "I've been reading this Jane Goodall book." "Those chimps have it made." "They don't have to worry about their thighs enlarging and their breasts sagging or getting their bikini wax." "They just eat, clean , and screw." "What a life." "This is dry storage." "This is where we keep the ketchup, salt, sugar." "Are you even working tonight?" "This is the freezer." "This is where we keep the meat, fish , frozen things." "[ MAN sighs PLEASURABLY ]" "Oh ." "Don't stop." "Welcome to Le Gamen ." "Okay, girls!" "Stepmother's not happy." "We're out of linen , the ladies' room is flooded again , and to top it off, I just found out Simon's gonna be eating here tonight." "With a prospective investor, nonetheless." "So I want you all to be on your best behavior, or spankings will be dispensed at my discretion ." "All right." "New rule." "What?" "!" "That's illegal ." "That's highway fuckin' robbery." "I know, you guys." "I really went to bat for you on this one." "I'm the hired help, okay?" "From now on , we ask if they want bottled water before we open and pour." "We've been getting complaints about people being charged without requesting it." "Got that, busboys?" "Comprendes?" "No pour-o el bottled agua-o without okay-o from caballeros." "Gracias." "All right." "No more leniency on unpressed shirts." "No more sweat stains around the collars or in your pits." "That goes for you , too, girls." "You're not selling enough focaccia bread ." "I want more desserts sold , and I've got cases of pinot noir that aren't so great." "I want to move it all tonight." "1 00 bucks to whoever sells the most bottles." "Okay?" "Got it?" "Get rid of it." "You hear that?" "Push that wine." "And good luck." "I tried it. lt sucks." "Okay." "Next on the agenda." "Ohh ." "Seems our little Chrissy filled in a credit-card tip last night on a party of eight." "How much?" "They left it empty." "I thought they were letting me decide." "Well , the total was $400." "So he left himself another $400." "Wouldn't you say it must have been excellent service?" "I got a pregnant wife, okay?" "Babies cost money." "If any of you ever, ever pull something like this again , you're out." "And I won't return the deposit on your apron ." "All right." "Last issue." "Simon's table." "Very V.l .P." "V.V.l .P." "Who wants it?" "Adam?" "He doesn't hate you ." "I take it he's sitting up on his perch ." "Where else?" "All right, boys and girls." "Here we go." "Happy faces." "Sell with ingenuity." "Fresh pepper and cheese will up your gratuity." "MARLON :" "Up your gratuity." "I heard that." "Five bucks to anyone who will take Simon's table." "l don't think so." "1 0." "I'm gonna get some Lotto tickets." "You guys want in?" "How much is the jackpot?" "$3 1 million ." "I'm in ." "Mexican busboy wins Lotto, buys restaurant, fires staff." "I can see it." "I'm in ." "How'd your big audition go?" "It was a call-back." "It was a producer's call-back." "I don't want to talk about it and jinx myself." "This guy before me is in there 5 minutes." "I'm in there 20." "I almost had to excuse myself." "I don't want to say any more." "Married ." "Gay." "involved ." "Jehovah's Witness." "God only knows." "They're gonna see people into the night and then make their decision ." "My agent's gonna beep me." "I'm going crazy." "I want this thing so bad ." "Can you imagine getting out of here?" "Can I imagine it?" "It's all I ever think about." "MARTHA:" "You're telling me there's not one available hetero man in this whole restaurant?" "Well , there's Cliff." "But he's out for a couple weeks." "One of his testicles enlarged to the size of a grapefruit." "There's Marlon , but he's too in love with himself." "Like "Romeo and Juliet" without the Juliet." "Oh , then there's Adam , but he just had his little heart broken ." "Caught his girlfriend cheating ." "Sworn off love." "I'll do the candles." "You can do salt and peppers." "No." "Chloe, who is your cute, little, babe-in-the-woods, fragile-little-egg friend?" "You must be Marlon ." "My reputation precedes me." "It's nothing to be proud of." "Now get lost." "Believe everything you've heard ." "Adam ." "Because you're serving royalty, I'm gonna have Becky help you ." "That's okay." "Simon doesn't tip." "Tonight he might." "Try to impress this investor." "Oh , thank you ." "Now you only owe me two packs." "Did you tell Adam about our session in the locker room?" ""C" cup." "Who'd have thunk it?" "Actor." "Did she just insult me?" "I think she did ." "You ." "Marvin ." "Raise your arms." "What?" "Raise your arms." "Next time use a razor." "Did you see that?" "That fascist son of a bitch ." "I could sue for that humiliation ." "I never win stuff like that." "It's a dollar." "What can you lose?" "A Mexican busboy buys Lotto ticket for entire staff, and they win !" "They buy the restaurant, fire everyone." "Can't you see it on 1 1 :00 news?" "A dollar." "Dollar." "Not a problem ." "Not for you ." "Bye-bye." "Excuse me, Jonathan ." "Did you maybe find out about the raise?" "Were it up to me, Hector, you know I would ." "I'm sorry." "Talk to Simon ." "If you dare." "I thought you quit." "Made myself a deal ." "Every day I don't call Alice, I get to keep smoking ." "That's a healthy incentive." "What the hell is that?" "It's Rogaine." "But you're not losing your hair." "Yeah , I'm not taking any chances." "Did you check your machine?" "Nothing ." "I'm going crazy, man ." "I haven't booked a job since my agent signed me." "The clock is ticking ." "You'll get something ." "I can't do this shit much longer." "You think I don't know that?" "I don't think that Ibsen was serving meat loaf when he was my age." "Mamet wrote "American Buffalo" when he was 2 8." "Dickens wrote "Oliver Twist" when he was 26." "What the hell have I done?" "Yeah , but you're a writer." "You can grow old , lose your hair, be seasoned ." "That's a plus in your field ." "I'm not gonna be this devastatingly handsome forever." "I got an expiration date on my face." "There are parts other than leading man ." "Look at this face." "It's got "leading man" written all over it." "[ Clears throat ] Excuse me, sir." "Can I speak to you?" "is it important?" "It is to me." "The runners were wondering about " "No." "But we don't even get minimum wage, sir." "You're an illegal immigrant, amigo." "You're lucky you have a job." "I have a family to support." "So do I ." "Welcome to America." "You might want to unbutton those." "Tits help tips." "Hey, hey!" "I left mine at home." "I'll bring it right back." "You better bring it right back." "Jack, she's new." "She's nice." "She's married ." "Anytime, ladies." "Why did you say I was married?" "He's a dog ." "He'll hit on anything ." "Chief, my wife's due any day." "Hook me with a good station ." "I need the cash ." "All my stations are good , chief." "The deuces?" "Come on !" "What's wrong with the deuces?" "Other than the fact that they suck?" "How about that big party in section four?" "I'll sell all that crappy pinot noir." "That's Stan's table." "Cut you a slice." "Chris, I'm shocked ." "1 0." "Shocked you'd think I'd settle for less than 50." "That's Stan's table." "But because I find belligerent sexy, I will try to throw you a few extra covers." "Now, what do you say?" "Blow me." "What?" "And shatter the fantasy?" "CHLOE :" "This is where we hang out and sneak food ." "Hi ." "Hi ." "Adam , this is Martha." "She's new." "Hi ." "Nice to meet you ." "Get out while you still can ." "Okay." "You want me to give you a dollar?" "You waiting my table tonight?" "This is a very important meal ." "Don't fuck it up." "is this silverware clean?" "There are fingerprints all over this thing ." "Clean it all again !" "Go smoke a cigarette or something ." "Just don't let you-know-who catch you ." "MARLON :" "Hey." "Kurt's ready for the specials, and he's pissed off." "Soup today..." "is puree of carrot." "It's not carrot puree." "If I hear anybody say "carrot puree,"" "you're fuckin' fired ." "No chicken stock." "So all the little vegetarian pansies can eat it." "Appetizer is tuna tartar with a pinch of dill sauce." "No temperature on this." "$ 1 0." "I got 30 of them ." "I want them all gone by the end of the fuckin' shift!" "Can we do the tuna without the sauce?" "What?" "Can we do the tuna without..." "Please come over here." "You interrupt me again , and you're fuckin' fired ." "Move back, you little rat." "Entree special ." "Steak au poivre." "That's "crusted with pepper"" "for all you high-school actor dropout fuckin' morons." "It comes with pommes frites." "You figure that one out on your own ." "22 bucks." "No." "Fuck." "It's 25 bucks." "86 the salmon croquettes." "Anybody have any questions?" "One more thing ." "Any of you little fuckin' rats go in my freezer without my permission , you're fuckin' fired ." "And after I fire you , I'm gonna kick your fuckin' ass back to Staten Island ." "Bye-bye." "Did you clean all the menus?" "Yes." "Tell the kitchen when the big tables are coming?" "Yes." "So how's the modeling career going?" "Well , I'm not doing porn , but I am still here." "Aren't we all?" "Adam , because you're taking Simon's table tonight." "Man came in ." "He's gonna propose." "Okay." "He wants this in her dessert." "Creme brulee." "And he gave me this." "Ah , ah ." "I keep one for commission ." "AMY:" "Okay." "Follow me." "Here we go." "Do you have something more romantic?" "More romantic?" "How about this table here?" "Oh , my." "This is Siberia." "What's the matter, you don't like us?" "I like that." "Honey?" "That's a table for four, sir." "It's gonna be fine." "Thank you ." "Thanks." "So how many years is your program?" "Two years of classes and then a year of fieldwork." "And my thesis, which is titled" ""Love and Monogamy." "Yeah , Right."" "I'm starting to think I could do my fieldwork here." "If this place counted , I'd have a PhD." "They're all yours." "Good luck." "This sounds crazy, but I think I'm nervous." "Just remember one thing ." "The customer is always wrong ." "Okay." "Good evening ." "This is Adam , our best waiter." "You know, he's a playwright." "One of these days, he's going to write a big hit." "Right down the block, probably win a Pulitzer Prize." "Hmm?" "But for right now, why don't you get us our last bottle of the Perlet, ice-cold Pellegrino, and some sliced lemon with that?" "Okay, Shakespeare?" "Can you fill him with Pellegrino?" "You sure they want Pellegrino?" "Yeah , that's why I asked you to give it to them ." "You sure they ask?" "Coke." "Extra Syrup." "Hey, I only do this for you ." "Hello, Marlon ." "is Adam around?" "Why?" "I know he works Saturday nights." "Hold on ." "Aren't you Adam's girl?" "Woman ." "And no, not anymore." "It's over." "Oh , that's too bad ." "So you're single." "Take food off my line again , and I'm gonna take off your thumb." "She's here." "Who?" "How many "shes" do you know?" "I hope you don't mind that I came." "You were the one who said that we shouldn't see each other or talk." "You look tired ." "Yeah , well , mustard's not really my color." "I miss you ." "I miss you , too." "You do?" "Do you really?" "Of course I do." "You know that." "l love you ." "Don't say that." "And you love me." "Look, Alice, this whole thing is so ridiculous." "I don't know how I feel ." "I think one thing ." "I feel another." "And then I think I want to feel something entirely different." "Alice..." "... doyouloveme?" "I'm sorry." "No." "I don't love you ." "There." "I said it." "Whoo." "It's like a tremendous weight has been lifted from my shoulders." "You were right." "Maybe we shouldn't talk or see each other." "It's better like this." "What happened?" "I have no idea." "Does she want to get back together?" "Define "get back together."" "Love is love, and sex is sex." "Exactly." "And until women get that, they are never going to understand men ." "I could tell you , Sasha never grasped that fact." "Never." "I tell you ." "If she wants a divorce, she gets it." "'Cause I'm young ." "I'm rich ." "I still got the need to spread the seed ." "I mean , you guys are loving being single, right?" "Wouldn't trade it for the world ." "Best thing that ever happened to me." "Can I get you gentlemen something?" "Yeah ." "You know a good divorce attorney?" "I'll tell you what, honey." "Why don't you just get us your most expensive wine, okay?" "If you need anything , I'll be around ." "It's not hard to get me." "Enjoy yourselves." "This your 1 2-top?" "Yeah ." "I don't envy you , busy night like tonight." "You think?" "You shitting' me?" "Book's full ." "Kitchen's slow." "It's a heat-seeking missile." "Boy, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to take advantage of me." "I got a good station ." "Deuces." "Deuces." "Lots of turnover." "Jonathan promised ." "So you want me to give up Park Place for Connecticut Avenue?" "I don't think so." "It's a fair swap." "You throw in 20 bucks and it's fair." "Fuck, no." "Enjoy the deuces." "All right, all right." "Come on ." "I think I'll take my Andrew Jackson now." "MARLON :" "I'm feeling like we weren't properly introduced ." "I'm Marlon ." "I'm the fragile little egg ." "Don't hold that against me." "I was just being charming ." "Oh , is that what that was?" "We may not have much time to get to know each other." "I'm waiting to hear if I got..." "Well , it's a lead in a disaster flick." "I don't want to jinx it, so I'm not gonna say any more." "Executive producer." "His name rhymes with "Skeelberg ."" "Are you single?" "Your eyes remind me of Garbo's." "Look, you seem very nice." "Well , nice." "But I'm not interested ." "The second they sit down , start pouring ." "They ordered bottled water?" "Oh , yeah ." "They ordered it." "Okay, it's perfect." "Mimi , here, please." "Suki , sit there." "George, right there." "Just file in , file in ." "Find a seat." "Oh , it's perfect." "1 , 2 , 3, 4, 5." "Hello." "We are having a surprise party for my boyfriend ." "His name is James." "He's a little taller than you ." "Great eyes." "Very cute." "When you seat him , don't let on that we're all here." "Of course." "Perfect." "Oh , yes." "Now, may I suggest our very special wine this evening?" "An enchanting pinot noir from the Napa Valley." "It has a clean , flowery bouquet with a lusty underbite." "Fine." "Great." "I'll start you off with three bottles." "You're married ." "No." "Lesbian ." "I'm a big Ellen DeGeneres fan ." "No, I just don't find cocky a turn-on ." "I can be needy." "I'm an actor." "That's our second nature." "It's nothing personal ." "I'm sure there are lots of women who find arrogance, vanity, and narcissism a turn-on ." "l'm just not one of them ." "Okay, it's the principle now." "You can't just dismiss me 'cause you think I'm arrogant or cocky or whatever." "I'm not." "It's a cover." "I'm healthy." "I'm balanced ." "Whatever the opposite of dysfunctional is, that's me." "But I like flaws." "I mean , a little too short, a slight lisp." "Wounded's a big turn-on ." "Neurotic drives me wild ." "Clearly you're just too perfect." "They should neuter you ." "You getting sent out?" "lt's been slow." "Like death ." "The last time I worked was that all-male production" "of "The Diary of Anne Frank."" "You were good ." "Mrs. Frank wasn't the icy, heartless mother that she's often portrayed as." "You got that across." "Thanks." "A lot of good it did me." "I can't even get arrested ." "I'm thinking about getting new representation ." "Who you with now?" "Actors and Artists." "How about you?" "Artists and Actors." "But I did audition for this pilot." "Yeah , I read for the voice of Endorpho." "Extraterrestrial , wisecracking dog with psychic abilities." "I fucking went to Juilliard ." "I went out today." ""Hell Hath No Fury."" "How'd you get in on that?" "My agent said it was already cast." "It is now." "It is now." "The figure's very reasonable given the shape the market's in now." "You're not gonna do better." "I don't know if you've noticed the kind of volume we're doing in this place, this location ." "Down the street, they've got lofts for sale." "They're $20 million ." "$2 million a pop." "They can't sell them fast enough ." "I mean , frankly, at this location , the place is a steal ." "It's an absolute " "Look, have you seen the way people are moving in on -- l'll be right back." "Honey?" "Yeah?" "I love you ." "Yeah , I know." "Could you put your jacket on?" "The whole restaurant can see your chest." "You gave me this blouse." "Not to wear in public." "This Coke isn't any good ." "There's too much ice." "Oh , I'm sorry." "I didn't hear you order it without ice." "What's your name?" "Marlon ." "Marlon ." "I know all the waiter tricks." "You fill the glass up with ice and save on the soda, so why don't you take this Coke back, bring me another Coke, and this time, just six cubes of ice?" "You'd like six cubes?" "I surely would ." "l'll get right to it." "So you will ." "Absolutely." "You got it." "Simon's table?" "Of course." "What the hell are you doing?" "Nothing ." "Do you want to grab a smoke?" "One minute." "[ Pops ]" "Whew." "Here you go, sir." "Six ice cubes." "Took care of that personally." "Thank you , Marlon ." "You treat them like you deserve respect, they give you respect." "So, how's table five going?" "They haven't said one word to each other since they sat down ." "Well , let's face it." "You run out of things to say." "God , I hope that's not true." "6-top on 7, 8, and 9." "Pronto." "I was surprised to see Alice, too." "I cannot believe she had the balls to come by." "She has balls." "That was always the problem ." "She has 'em , you don't." "She's not that bad , okay?" "I've dated dominatrices less aggressive." "She's a little strong-willed ." "And fat people are big-boned ." "Adam , you've always got an excuse." "Maybe that's the problem ." "Your girlfriends need excuses." "That's not true." "Yeah?" "What about Lisa?" "What?" "Her pop was a drunk." "And Deirdre?" "Give me a break." "The woman was German ." "Jennifer." "Now, kleptomania's not an excuse." "It's a psychiatric disorder." "She stole your mother's VCR." "What we need to do is find you a new goldfish ." "A nice goldfish ." "How about Amy?" "How about the new one, Martha?" "No, no." "Look, look, look." "I'm in a cleansing period right now." "The last thing I want to worry about is sex or love or any of that other meaningless bullshit." "So what ever happened to" ""Love and Monogamy." "Yeah , Right"?" "Despite my thesis, I want to believe that I have a soul mate somewhere." "Although with my luck, he's probably harvesting manure in Rangoon ." "I went in for that "endless love" crap once." "Biggest mistake I ever made." "Bob." "We were engaged ." "He was the heir to a glue fortune." "Money up the wazoo." "Anyway, before the big day, we were in the south of France at this cute seafood restaurant on the Cote d'Azur." "And I ordered this heavenly chocolate souffle." "When I say heaven , I mean heaven ." "Chloe, hook me up with two Merlots on table 1 6." "Right away." "So Bob asked me how it is, and I can barely speak." "I mean , I am nearly orgasmic." "The chocolate is literally melting in my mouth ." "So I offer him a taste, but he declines." "And I say, "Bob, it is one of the greatest things I've ever tasted ." "It is beyond food ." "It is religious." "It's proof that God exists."" "But he wouldn't." "Turns out he doesn't like chocolate." "It was that good , huh?" "I have pictures." "Anyway, so I'm sitting there thinking ," ""What kind of person doesn't like chocolate?"" "Chocolate?" "I mean , face it, it is right up there with sex." "Right up there?" "Well , right behind it, but would you marry a man who didn't like sex?" "lt's a little different." "Very little." "I'm not fucking some guy for life who's not enjoying it." "And I am not sharing dessert with some guy who can't share a little Belgian dark chocolate with me or Teuscher champagne truffles or even a goddamn Hershey bar." "So I broke off the engagement." "Martha, honey." "Hmm?" "You gonna wait for that old couple to drop dead before you take their order?" "That's the proposal table." "You want me to give it to somebody else?" "No." "I can handle it." "Hi ." "is everything okay?" "The drinks were okay?" "And the bread?" "We're fine." "Can I start you guys off with something to drink?" "Yeah ." "I'd like a glass of red wine." "Okay." "Do you have pinot noir?" "We do." "But just between you and me, it's not very good tonight." "Could I suggest a cabernet?" "And you're happy with the table?" "We're fine." "You're sure?" "Well ." "Margaret, I know I'm not the most creative type." "But I've written a poem ." "Harold ." "Margaret." ""The number of weeks we've known each other is exactly 52 , and with each passing week, I discover a new reason why I love you ."" "Harold , that is so sweet." "Thank you ." "That's not the poem ." ""Week one." "Because you're as lovely as the day is long ." "Week two." "Because you laugh at my jokes even when they're not funny." "Week three."" "Harold , are you gonna do all 52?" "Of course, when I say there's no room for negotiation , I don't mean to be taken literally." "Flexibility is a very important tool in the business world ." "Do you know what I mean by flexibility?" "Sport, go get us a bottle of Peppoli ." "Now." "Get it now." "Can I get a bottle of Peppoli , please?" "How's your first night going?" "Uneventful so far." "Thank God ." "Out of Peppoli ." "None up here." "Well , can you get some more?" "No, I got dupes up the ying-yang ." "You know where the wine is." "You get it." "I've only got one table." "I can get it." "That'd be so great." "Thank you ." "Except I don't know where the wine is." "Here." "Come on ." "How's the V.l .P. table going?" "Unfortunately, the fact I hate being a waiter doesn't stop me from being a good one." "I care too much , even about things I don't care about." "So, what's your ambition?" "Other than to stop doing this." "I'm a playwright." "Kind of the way Jesus was a carpenter." "If I drop dead today, it's not gonna be the way I'm remembered ." "A writer." "I once wanted to write." "I almost went to journalism school ." "Yeah ." "Journalism's dead ." "Where'd you hear that?" "I don't know." "Maybe it wasn't journalism ." "Maybe it was something else that died ." "I thought it sounded deep." "Very." "So..." "Oh , there we go." "So, what do you want to be when you grow up?" "Wait, wait, wait." "Let me guess." "You want to be an actress." "Getting my master's in social work." "But you were close." "I'm sorry." "It's been such a long fuckin' week." "I know." "I heard ." "Your girlfriend dumped you for another guy." "Shit." "I'm sorry." "Chloe told me." "Okay." "Who's she?" "Liz Smith?" "And for your information , the breakup was mutual ." "Didn't you catch her in bed with another guy?" "[ Glass shatters ]" "Ow." "I'm talking about the actual breakup." "I mean , sure, all that stuff happened ." "But after I found them together, I said , "That's it."" "You know when to put your foot down ." "Amadomio" "Lovemeforever" "Andletforever begin tonight" "Amadomio" "Whenwe'retogether I'minadreamworld of sweet delight" "ManytimesIwhisper" "Amadomio ltwasjustaphrase that I heard him play Iwasactingapart" "ButnowwhenIwhisper" "Amado" "Why can't your fuckin' waiter check out his own food?" "Because I'm here." "Now, when will Simon's food be ready?" "When it's fuckin' ready." "You tell that little pussy I want to have a word with him ." "Hey." "How's table 1 2 coming?" "Hey, moron ." "Next time you ask management to come in here and check out one your tables, I'm gonna use my serrated knife to remove your colon from your fuckin' asshole." "Now get the fuck out of my kitchen !" "Okay." "Gentlemen , your food will be right up." "Our chef is just making sure that it's cooked perfectly." "It better be fucking perfect." "Because if it isn't, I'm gonna call the irs and tell them how much you guys really make in tips." "Uno momento." "I gotta go to the bathroom ." "Come here." "I'll give it back later." "Do me a favor." "Page me." "My beeper's broken ." "Your beeper's not broken ." "Maybe the batteries are dead ." "[ Beeps ]" "They'll call ." "Adam , our dreams come true, right?" "We don't wind up muttering about what might have been?" "We're gonna make it." "I just hope it's not posthumously." "Sasha and I are still dividing assets." "Everything okay here, guys?" "We're celebrating ." "My friend's getting a divorce." "Oh , congratulations." "Who's the lucky lady?" "Maybe I should marry you ." "I'm rich ." "I'm young ." "Put the bull in the bull market." "Oh , is that where you put it?" "You should do stand-up." "Oh , I do." "I'm just here to network." "Where's Simon's veal chop?" "It's coming ." "No, I need it now." "Please, I'm begging you ." "[ Sighs ]" "Take it easy." "Can you stay up here?" "You don't have to do anything ." "Just give me a minute." "Just a minute." "You know, you're really sweating ." "I feel like I'm about to have a heart attack." "Okay, listen ." "Repeat after me." "It's just a restaurant job." "It's just a restaurant job." "It's just a restaurant job." "Wait, wait, wait." "Okay." "Now go." "Bye." "Bye." "[ Italian accent ] I asked for medium rare." "Too cooked ." "Adam will take care of that right away, won't you , Adam?" "Here we go." "What do you mean , it's not medium rare?" "What the fuck do you call that?" "It looks medium rare to me." "No." "See this?" "It's pink." "You know what pink is?" "This is pink." "You send it back to them ." "Come on , man ." "This is for Simon's table." "I don't care if it's for Mahatma fuckin' Gandhi ." "They asked for medium rare." "They're gonna get medium rare." "Now, you get the fuck out of my face." "Hey!" "Simon's looking for you ." "Something about a steak." "Here you are, sir." "Medium rare." "Perfecto." "Enjoy your meal ." "Mangia." "What are you staring at?" "Nothing ." "Just my best friend's life almost unravel , that's all ." "He takes this job a little too seriously." "When he was growing up, he had a paper route." "He was so concerned the customers wouldn't get papers, he'd ring the bell , insist on handing it to them ." "This is 5:30 in the morning ." "He got fired after one week." "I need a cigarette." "Try a Valium ." "I'll give it back." "Great fucking table." "1 1 bottles of wine." "I'm not just going for the money." "I'm going for the record ." "He scares me." "Yeah ." "I don't know." "Maybe I should just reconcile, you know?" "Save the trouble." "Save the marriage." "Save the lawyer's fees." "That's assuming Anne would take you back." "Would you take him back?" "Take him back where?" "She wouldn't get rid of him in the first place." "Probably let me sleep with half of Manhattan and then thank me for not sleeping with the other half." "Just for a chance to get out of this life." "And into his plush three-bedroom apartment with Central Park views." "Or a spin in his Beemer." "I just traded in my Beemer for a Mercedes." "I live on Central Park South ." "And the interest on my inheritance is more than you'll see in your 1 2-hour-a-day, number-crunching , fake-Armani-suit, pathetic, little lives." "You touch me again , I'll knee you in the balls so hard , they'll fly out of your mouth and into your mashed potatoes." "Enjoy." "Hi ." "It's me again ." "Just checking to make sure you two are okay." ""Week 39." "Because you prefer whole milk." ""Week 40." "The way your feet dance when you sleep."" "Are you ready for dessert?" "No dessert." "Yes!" "So, do you guys have any grandchildren?" "My grandparents have been married 50 years." "They say they owe it all to communication ." "Talking , sharing ." "Opening up to one another." "Don't you think?" "Excuse us." "This is not couples therapy." "Those two are years of research ." "I mean , if that's the future, then all this hysteria about finding the one and all this pressure to experience true love when in the end you've got nothing to say anyway..." "What's the point?" "The bitch is back." "What?" "It's like those horror movies." "She won't die." "You want me to tell her to go?" "Yes." "No." "Wait." "Fuck!" "Look, I'm really busy right now." "Do you want me to go?" "l just -- l came back because I know how difficult this is for you ." "But it isn't especially easy for me, either." "I'll get you out of my mind ." "But then my parents will ask about you ." "Or my sister, my friends." "Every time I pass the Thai restaurant on my corner, the one you threw up in , I think of you ." "You're everywhere." "Yeah , except with you ." "I'm too rational ." "You know that." "I don't know if I should follow my heart or my head ." "[ Speaking French ]" "Alice." "Alice, English ." "English , please." "I'm sorry." "I'm so confused ." "Okay, look, I am in the weeds right now." "Can we grab a drink later?" "It's just that when I was home, they were playing the Celine Dion song from "Titanic."" "I couldn't stop thinking about you ." "l hate Celine Dion ." "l know!" "I started to think about all the people that you hate." "Michael Bolton ." "The Spice Girls." "Hanson ." "Madonna." "How worked up you get about it." "And how cute and adorable you are." "And you know..." "And?" "And?" "And I don't know." "Maybe I shouldn't have come." "I'm very vulnerable right now." "Bye, Adam ." "So, what's Simon having for dessert?" "A chocolate lava and a creme brulee, two cappuccinos." "One decaf for Simon ." "The Italian guy wants a regular." "Thank you ." "What's she want now?" "I don't know, man , but I see her, and my knees get weak and my hands start shaking and I get these butterflies in my stomach ." "That's called nausea." "It's how I feel when I see her, too." "For dessert tonight " "Whoa, whoa." "What?" "No menu?" "Oh , of course." "We don't get to look at the prices." "Well , all our desserts are $ 7.50, sir." "$ 7.50?" "Marlon , you should tell your boss, or whoever it is that sets these prices, that Haagen-Dazs only costs three bucks a pint." "Perhaps the lady " "Perhaps the lady's fine." "Was that your girlfriend in here before?" "Yep." "She's pretty." "It's just a front." "So, did you guys patch things up?" "Well , she's upset." "She wants me back." "Really?" "What are you gonna do?" "Well , I don't want to break her heart." "But at the same time, I got to think about myself." "You can't live your life for someone else." "Certainly can't." "Ready?" "Ready." "Well , you two are certainly getting cushy, aren't you?" "He's just so wounded ." "Have you ever dated a struggling artist?" "No." "Okay." "Best-case scenario." "You two fall in love, live on your waiters' pittance." "But it's romantic." "Okay, you're young ." "You cook pasta with ketchup every night." "You comfort your husband during his writer's block, have a baby." "Then what do you know?" "One of his plays gets turned into a movie." "And then suddenly he's this big hotshot writer everybody wants." "Flavor of the month ." "Okay?" "You can't believe how lucky you are." "Junior's in kindergarten ." "All the hard work's finally paid off." "Then to celebrate." "To reward you for sticking by him through the dark days." "He dumps you for some 1 9-year-old actress named Storm from Bumblefuck, North Dakota." "And then it's you and Junior eating your meals at McDonald's." "Sipping your root beer out of special-edition souvenir cups given away to promote your ex-husband's new summer blockbuster movie." "You've thought about this." "I had a crush on him once, too." "Here you are." "Thanks." "Marlon , Marlon , Marlon ." "Wait a minute." "Were you looking at my wife's cleavage?" "Honey, he wasn't." "Shut up." "Excuse me?" "Honey " "Shut up." "Were you looking at her tits?" "I may have glanced once accidentally." "They're..." "They're what?" "You're a very lucky man ." "And you're a waiter." "So keep dreaming ." "Come on ." "Let's get out of here." "I have to go to the bathroom ." "Can't you wait till we go home?" "No." "Come on ." "Just get the car." "All right." "Look, I'm really sorry." "l didn't mean to..." "Give me your hand ." "Call during the day." "You call my wife, I'll fucking kill you ." "You busy?" "Packed ." "Me too." "Oh , my God ." "He's here!" "What?" "I had to cover my face with my bag so he wouldn't see me." "Okay, okay." "Honey." "What are you doing at the bar?" "lt's happening , Katie." "What's happening?" "Things are flying ." "Oh , really?" "Tell me at the table." "They're flying me tomorrow first class to L.A. , okay?" "I got a limo picking me up in the morning ." "Billy friggin' Corgan wants to produce "Baby Blue."" "Billy Corgan from Smashing Pumpkins?" "Hello!" "Oh , my God ." "It is happening ." "Oh , honey, I knew it would ." "I am so happy for you ." "You want to catch a flick after work?" "Sure." "Let's do something cheery." "How about "Taxi Driver"?" "Perfect." "[ Pager beeps ]" "Oh , my God ." "It's him ." "What do I do?" "Well , call him ." "That's generally how these things work, right?" "This is it right here." "This is the moment of truth ." "My whole future riding on one lousy quarter." "You got a quarter I could borrow?" "Hey, break legs." "Let's eat!" "Wait, wait, wait." "Katie, Katie, please." "Before we eat." "I love you ." "Before we go in there, I want to give you something ." "Really?" "Oh , boy." "Oh , my God ." "Right here?" "Yeah ." "Right here." "Those are the keys to my apartment." "Yeah ." "I will never, ever forget you , sweetheart." "What?" "Katie." "ALL:" "Surprise!" "[ Sobs ]" "No." "So sorry." "Am I disturbing tea time?" "Can you check on the desserts for Simon's table?" "They're not out yet?" "No, and I'm not going back in there." "No problem ." "Fine." "I'll do it." "Might as well put on an apron and cook the goddamn food ." "'Cause nothing seems to get done around here without me!" "Nobody cares." "Okay, I can go down maybe 50." "That's the absolute lowest I can go." "Otherwise I'm practically giving it away." "This place is my home." "The staff, my family." "I mean , this isn't just dollars and cents to me." "Adam ." "I got it." "I got it." "What?" "l got it, dude." "I just talked to my agent." "I booked a gig !" "Why the lovefest?" "Oh , my God ." "Marlon got the gig ." "He booked it." "lt's about time." "Did someone just get a big tip?" "Our little boyfriend's gonna be a movie star." "Yeah ." "No shit!" "Damn !" "Good for you ." "Congratulations." "What are you still doing here?" "Take off the apron and get out." "Well , I can't." "I still have tables." "Who are you trying to kid?" "You don't have a conscience." "Get out of here." "I'll cover you ." "Go get drunk." "We'll get shit-faced after work." "All right." "Deal , deal ." "Oh , whoa, whoa." "You won't be needing this." "Thank you ." "Lucky bastard ." "There's hope." "But what are the odds of two of us getting out of this dump?" "A million to one." "That was a rhetorical question , all right?" "Hey." "Hi ." "So it's such great news, huh?" "Oh , my God ." "Marlon?" "He heard the words." "What words?" "He had four words that he wanted to hear." ""You got the part."" "I got six." "Six magical words." ""l want to produce your play."" "You'll hear them , too." "Yeah ." "What makes you so sure?" "I know these things." "Do you know, I think I'd start crying right there on the spot?" "I'd break down and weep like a baby." "I've heard them in my head a million times." "I've fantasized about them ." "But never once have I actually heard them out loud ." "I want to produce your play." "Oh , God ." "That was good ." "I want to produce your play." "Could those words be any sexier?" "I want to produce your play." "Okay." "I need a cigarette." "Do you want to go out back?" "Yeah ." "Come on ." "Hey, can you cover my station?" "No, not if you're going outside." "Okay, we won't." "Can you get Martha's, too?" "Oh , yeah ." "I got nothing better to do." "Thanks." "Do you know that I dated Alice for over two years, and not once did she read one of my plays?" "ln here?" "Yeah ." "So, she wanted me to be on Wall Street." "Oh , you strike me as the Wall Street type." "I might not be totally fulfilled ." "At least I wouldn't be doing this." "No, you'd be on some rooftop polishing your semiautomatic." "Hmm ." "At least I wouldn't be polishing silverware." "Do you know, if you'd told me six years ago that I'd still be saying ," ""Can I get you some fresh pepper with that?"" "I would have gotten back on the bus, and I would have gone home." "Can I ask you a question?" "Yeah ." "When you make it as a playwright." "Okay." "Let's say you're married ." "Do you think you'd leave your wife and kid for some teenage floozy named Storm?" "Huh?" "[ Woman moans, breathes heavily ]" "What was that?" "[ Springs creaking ]" "KURT:" "Turn off the fucking light!" "Excuse us." "How about those desserts for my big table?" "When will Simon's desserts be ready?" "Okay, could everyone please just back off?" "Shh , shh , shh , shh ." "Okay." "We have to compose ourselves." "Okay?" "Okay." "Okay, I'm composed ." "Mm-hmm ." "Are you composed?" "Definitely." "Yeah ." "ForI don'tknow what I was thinking" "AndI didn'tknow what I had found" "Butautomaticblues{y: i}" "What was that for?" "Consider it a show of support for your writing career." "Well , I'd like to direct one day, too." "Really?" "Well , one show of support at a time." "Where have you been?" "Simon's desserts still haven't come." "Step on it." "Come on ." "is that Simon's table?" "I need it now." "Hey, I'm completely backed up here." "When Simon's table is ready, you'll get it." "lt's a fucking madhouse." "Tell me about it." ""'Cause when you have a cold , only your left nostril runs."" "I love that." ""Week 48." "The grunts you make when you bowl ."" "It would take some wrangling ." "You know, flowers, chocolates, week in St. Bart's." "I mean , she'd make me pay." "But she'd capitulate, you know?" "Maybe I should just bite the bullet and do it." "And finally, last but not least..." ""Week 52 ." "The way a ring looks around your finger."" "Mmm ." "That was good ." "I'm full ." "What?" "No." "I mean , eat." "But I'm not hungry." "Keep eating ." "I feel sick." "It'll pass." "Well , after you and Sasha broke up, she left the door open , right?" "He didn't tell you?" "Tell me what?" "Sasha's engaged ." "Some doctor." "Dermatologist." "Jesus." "You're okay with it?" "Yeah , wouldn't trade it for the world ." "Do you love her?" "Do I love her?" "You know Anne." "She's an incredible woman ." "She's smart." "Funny." "She's sexy." "I don't like the way you're acting , Harold ." "Let's just get the check and go." "What are you doing?" "But, Harold , you're lactose intolerant." "Excuse me, please." "I adore you ." "Excuse me." "Excuse me." "Excuse me." "Excuse me!" "I think we have a problem ." "Here you go." "I need a word , pronto." "is there a problem?" "No, no." "Everything's fine." "Where is this man's ring?" "lt's in his creme brulee." "But it's not there." "lt's not there." "I finished my poem , and I would like to propose to Margaret." "It must be there, because I put it there myself." "Okay." "Okay." "Think." "Who else has gotten creme brulees at your tables?" "No one." "That's the only one I've served all night." "You know how slow the kitchen's been ." "No one ex" "Except..." "Oh , my God ." "Gentlemen , it seems we have a little mix-up." "Let me just get you a new one of these." "Wait, wait, wait." "Put that down ." "Put it down ." "Enjoy." "It's our best dessert." "Hmm?" "What the hell are you doing?" "There's a ring in here." "A diamond ring , God damn it!" "Do you want the poor man to choke to death?" "Do you want him to die?" "Oh , my God ." "I'll be right back." "What do you think you're doing , you motherfucking fuck?" "There was a man on table two who had a ring he wanted us to put into a creme brulee." "It wasn't there." "The only other creme brulee went to your table." "I thought it was in your creme brulee." "Which is why I did what I did ." "I didn't want the man to choke and ruin your dinner and ruin your deal ." "Look, I put the ring in the creme brulee." "Who ran the food to table two?" "I don't know." "Who ran a fucking creme brulee to table two?" "Me." "Frisk him ." "What?" "You can't get your raise, so you steal ." "I didn't steal nothing ." "Search him ." "I can't." "No." "No?" "I said no!" "Gee." "So maybe there's a testicle in your sac after all ." "I thought you kept your balls in that briefcase you schlep around like you're Donald fucking Trump or something ." "Well , Mr. Trump, why don't you go get your little briefcase, get the fuck out of my restaurant?" "You're fired ." "Look, look." "I don't have the ring ." "He doesn't have the ring , Simon ." "What the fuck you all doing?" "Get back to work." "Get your asses back to work!" "[ Speaking Italian ]" "Everything's okay." "Just a little..." "You know the restaurant business." "Always something ." "Don't worry about it, Harold , okay?" "They'll either find it or get us a new one." "The least they could do is bring us the bill ." "Maybe it's on them ." "Maybe it is." "Where the hell is everyone?" "I'd check the party room if I were you ." "What the hell is going on?" "Get back out on the floor." "All of you ." "Now." "You hear me talking to you?" "It's chaos out there." "Now, come on ." "Let's go." "Let's move it." "Now." "We're not gonna go out there until you give Jonathan his job back." "And who the fuck are you?" "John Brown?" "He had nothing to do with that ring , and you know that." "That's just so moving ." "Why don't you go stick that into one of your little plays?" "The rest of you get your asses on the floor, please, right now." "What are you gonna do?" "Do you want to start pounding the pavement, look for a job you can show up late at so you make your little off-Broadway auditions?" "And you're really gonna go far with all those special restaurant skills I've been hearing about." "You gonna bring your kneepads with you to your next job?" "And you ." "What the hell are you going to do?" "I got news for you , kid ." "You're not getting any younger." "The salad days are over." "Youth has fleeted ." "It's gone, okay?" "This is it." "This is it." "This is your life." "This place, working for me." "This is as good as it's gonna get." "Hey, Simon?" "Just know this." "Every time you berate us, every time you insult us, every time you threaten us, all we see are dollar signs." "See, that's all you are." "You're my rent." "And my phone bill ." "Maybe a Knicks game every now and then ." "But even that ain't worth this." "Nothing is." "So I'll tell you what." "You can take your threats, and you can shove 'em up your focaccia." "Because we're not going back until you give Jonathan his job back." "A table just walked out." "I've got tables four and 1 0 who want money off their checks." "I've had to stop seating people." "The man you're having dinner with would like to know how long you're gonna be." "He had nothing to do with that ring ." "Fine." "He's hired ." "Now get back to your fucking stations." "Shove 'em up your focaccia." "Heavy." "I need one of you ." "[ Woman crying ]" "Chloe?" "You okay?" "It's just allergies." "Good night." "Good night." "Give me a double of something ." "I only do this for you ." "[ Hands clapping ]" "Bravo." "That was some performance." "Man of the people." "Leader of the masses." "Che fucking Guevara!" "I was moved ." "Really." "Shut up, Chris." "You really know which battles to fight." "You're an asshole." "l'm an asshole?" "Jimmy Stewart here just got you "one for all , all for one" idiots canned ." "You think Simon's gonna really appreciate the lesson he's learned about humanity?" "About friendship?" "Loyalty?" "Fat fucking chance." "I mean , it was touching and all , but I'd touch up my resume." "I'll see you all tomorrow." "Something light." "See you tomorrow?" "What does that mean?" "It means he wants to fire you in person ." "Or maybe the place sold ." "Maybe we're all gonna be okay." "is he gone?" "Yes." "is he coming back?" "No, it didn't look like it." "1 7 bottles of wine." "Read it and weep." "1 5 of the pinot noir." "Etch me in the record books." "And I got you to thank, big boy." "Keep that Andrew Jackson ." "I got $ 1 00 coming on top of my tips." "1 7!" "Not now, Chris." "I'm not in the mood ." "Not my problem , chief." "Give me my money." "You sold 1 7 bottles of wine?" "1 5 of that pinot noir." "Next closest, Stan with eight." "Give me my money." "You sold 1 5 bottles on table 1 2?" "That was Stan's table." "We swapped stations." "Why would you do that?" "You'd have to ask Stan ." "But I sold more, so I get the green ." "Rules are rules." "Chris, this table was a price-fixed menu ." "The liquor was included ." "These bottles don't count." "You sold two." "Fuck, I did !" "1 7 right there, priced-fixed or not." "We don't count bottles we're not charging for!" "Could have poured 1 00." "Still would have been the same price." "Sorry." "Looks like Stan gets the money." "That's bullshit!" "Rules are rules." "Rules are rules." "Rules are rules." "Fuck you !" "Hey!" "What are you doing?" "Break it up!" "Cut it out!" "Yo!" "I want my money!" "Get off him !" "Fuck off!" "Get off!" "Stay out of this, Adam !" "Leave him alone." "I swear, if you don't get out of the way, I'll rip your head off." "Leave him " "Hey, hey." "Hey, you guys!" "Take it outside!" "Break it up." "Break it up." "[ Tinkling ]" "Holy shit." "You son of a bitch ." "You just stood there while Hector got fired ." "Like he can't find another job." "He'll be working illegally in some other kitchen by morning ." "Hey, if he's not out of here by the time it takes you to pick up the phone, call the police." "Give me my fucking money!" "Dial 9 1 1 ." "Just leave it." "I'll see you losers at unemployment." "Get me that man's number about the ring ." "Whew." "Man ." "We didn't win , man ." "Maybe next week." "Oh , when you see Hector, give him this." "Thanks, man ." "So tell me." "is every night like this?" "This is nothing ." "Wait till summer." "What time is the movie star showing up?" "CHLOE :" "Oh , I don't know." "I almost forgot about him ." "Are you gonna go?" "I'd like that." "Yeah , me too." "I'm gonna go get changed ." "Okay." "Cuckoo!" "I must look pretty ridiculous." "I've had a few drinks." "Vodka, rum , tequila, whiskey." "Come on , mon cherie." "Get out of that monkey suit and let's go home." "Actually, Alice..." "... we'regonnago out." "Marlon booked a film , so we're celebrating ." "What I said about not loving you ." "It isn't true." "It isn't?" "You know it isn't." "I called Jeff." "I broke it off." "It's over." "Who's Jeff?" "I don't want him ." "I want you ." "Alice..." "... I'mnotgonnagowith you." "Adam !" "If you don't take me up on this, that's it." "Not just for now, but forever." "Okay." "This is your last chance." "You understand me?" "Goodbye, Alice." "Fuck you !" "[ Speaking French ]" "See you all tomorrow." "4:00 sharp." "Clean shirts, please." "Should we bother showing up?" "I'll be here." "That's all I can tell you ." "Hey." "We're all gonna go get a drink." "Sounds good ." "How was the shift?" "The usual ." "Hey!" "Congratulations, Marlon ." "ADAM:" "If it isn't a movie star!" "Mr. Hollywood , what's up?" "Mr. Big Stuff." "You're too big for us, right?" "Congratulations." "Thanks." "is Adam around?" "Yeah , he's downstairs." "[ Knock on door ]" "Come in ." "Look who it is." "Well , you could not have picked a better night to have your dreams come true." "Been miserable around here?" "You'll never fucking believe what Simon ..." "You know what?" "It's not even worth going into." "Hey, everybody's waiting downstairs for you ." "And it's not 'cause you're buying the drinks." "l didn't get the part." "Nobody can believe it, man ." "I mean , it's like proof, finally, that there's some reason to be here, to pay dues." "That there's some light at the end of this hellish tunnel ." "Adam , I lied ." "I didn't get it." "No, your agent beeped you ." "I saw it." "I beeped myself." "He left a message on my machine." "You made it up?" "I made such a big deal ." "I couldn't not get it." "They wanted to take it in a different direction ." "My whole life, my destiny stopped 'cause their compass is fucked ." "You didn't have to lie about it." "I couldn't have everyone know." "This was the one." "Hey, man !" "Congratulations, man ." "Who knows the next time I'm gonna get a chance like this?" "You will ." "What am I supposed to do until then?" "Marlon , there are a million other restaurant jobs." "I don't want another restaurant job!" "I want this part!" "You're gonna make it." "We're all gonna make it." "Yeah , I got news for you ." "We're not all gonna make it." "If even one of us makes it, it's gonna be a miracle." "Look at me." "I'm a dime a fucking dozen ." "There's a million guys more talented than me." "What if it doesn't happen?" "Am I gonna be like another Jack?" "Working in restaurants until I die?" "Grateful if I can land some Preparation H commercial?" "You're right." "We won't all make it." "But if you quit now." "If you don't give yourself the chance to really fail ." "And I mean fail consistently, in an epic way, like nobody else has ever fucking failed before." "You will look back on this choice, and you will regret it for the rest of your life." "If I'm going down , I want lots of fire and explosions and every shred of my being to be spent trying ." "Fuck it if you didn't get the part." "Do you really care what Jonathan or Kurt or even Stan thinks about you?" "I can't go down there." "I can't face them ." "Yes, you can ." "Could you?" "We'll go out the back." "You know, I'm gonna miss this place." "No, you're not." "You're right." "Hey!" "I had a feeling you guys weren't coming back." "I'm sorry, Marlon ." "What?" "What are you talking about?" "Do you know what she's talking about?" "Forget I said anything ." "How could you tell?" "Your eyes." "I was playing subtle bliss." "I guess it was a little too subtle." "So I guess I'll just go back upstairs and tell them you're not coming back." "Okay." "Hey." "Martha." "Yeah?" "Why don't you come with us?" "Yeah?" "Yeah ." "Hello?" "Remember me?" "The failure?" "I don't want to intrude." "This guy advised me to fail epically." "Go down in flames." "I'll take all the company I can get." "Come on ." "Let's go to Donegal's." "I know the bartender." "I can get us free drinks." "Cool ." "Let's go." "Sure." "Hey, are you up for that?" "That sounds cool ." "Hey, now that Marlon's gone, do you think I could get his locker?" "Oh ." "I'm sorry." "But I got it." "Yeah ." "But you can have mine." "Okay." "You know, guys, this place is just not gonna be the same without him ." "People come." "People go." "Nothing ever changes." "Toobadthejerksplit Itookadvantage of everything Ihadin my possession" "Tobringme youraffection Itookadvantageoftime" "Itookadvantage of every line Ihadeverheardyou mention" "Toturnyouinmydirection" "AndI didwhatIhadtodo" "'CauseI wasfalling, falling, falling lfloveis like an oldies song" "Picksyouup  and turns you on" "Keepsyoudancing till the dawn" "AndI thinkthat I'm falling in love with you" "ThisisallI'veever known" "Andsosuddenlytohave  fallen in love" "Keepmerunning to your arms Ithinkthat I'm falling in love with you" "Well , have a good evening ." "Come again ." "Bye."