" Why'd you get us out of bed?" " Surprise !" " It's not our birthday." " No, it's your half birthday." "Yeah, congratulations." "Today in the state of new jersey, you're old enough to work." "The days of allowance are over." "Yeah." "I mean, from now on, all we have to give you is food, shelter and clothing, as required by law." " What about education, college?" " Well, people go to college to get jobs." "You guys are all going to have jobs by 2:30." " Come on, man." " You don't scare me." "I'll get a job." "I don't need your money, old man." "What did you just say?" "I don't need your money, old man." "I've never loved you more than I love you right now." "Previous work experience." "What if I don't have any?" "Then put that down." "That's what I was afraid of." "Thanks, anyway." "No, I mean, put down on the application, "no previous experience"." " Here you go." " You're hired." "Really?" "Listen, Neil, I know why you hired me." "Please don't tell my uncle." "It's because of my fashion sense, and I don't quite understand why, but I won't tell your uncle." "Hey, Paige, guess what." "I got my dream job." "I'm going to be working at the food court... at burger barn." "That sounds horrible to me, but you seem happy, so... yay!" "Don't you get it?" "Girls come to the mall to shop." "Shopping makes them hungry." "Then they come to me." "I'll be all, "can I get you anything with that burger?" "Like my phone number?"" "Sounds great." "Dude." "This sucks." "No one will hire me." "They think I'm a kid." "Do I look, like, 12?" "No, but you will one day." "Whoa." "Excuse." "Hi, I'm Patton, and I don't mean to be forward, but... after you've finished taking care of those two feet," "I'd love to introduce you to these... four feet." "That's sweet, but right now I'm trying to buy shoes." "Those shoes?" "You don't put a leather frame on a Rembrandt." " Try these." " They're $200!" "Rembrandt, huh?" "I'll try these in a 6." "Hey, that was really great." "Would you be interested in working here?" "I think we could work something out." " Hi, honey." " Hello." "Okay, check it out." "Allowance was $20 per quint per week." "I did the math." "We're going to save over $5,000 a year on them." "Wow." "Maybe we could make it $7,000 if we gave up on dentistry." "Hey, Penny." "How'd job-hunting go?" "I got a job at a bookstore, but before you get all happy," "I'll cut to the end of the story where I get fired." " What happened?" " I told my boss he was an idiot." "Why?" "Well, my boss gave me some constructive criticism and I thought that was, like, what we were doing." "Well, you are gonna get another job, and in the future, don't call your boss an idiot." "Do the mature thing and hide a sardine in his desk drawer." "Mom, dad, I want to thank you guys for throwing me into the workforce." "At first it was terrifying." "Then it was exciting." "Then I got a little sleepy." "Any part of this story have to do with a job?" "It sure does." "I got hired at the pet store at the mall." "Oh, Pearce, that's wonderful." "You love animals." "I know, it's like it doesn't even feel like work." "Today, I had an hour-and-a-half-long conversation with a parrot." "First, I taught it how to say hello, and then it taught me how to stand barefoot on a wooden pole." " Bob, I had an idea." " Yeah." "This is the first time... and maybe the last, we have any extra money to spend." "Let's get something for us." "Yeah, like a motorcycle and a sidecar." "I said for us, not for colonel Klink and sergeant Schultz." "Let's get something that we can both enjoy, not just you." "I said a motorcycle and a sidecar." "Bob, drop it." "It's not gonna happen." "I was thinking something more like a caribbean cruise." "We can explore hidden beaches, me in my thong... you in your thong." "Me with my camera... us regretting it later." "Well, that does sound like fun." "Oh, you know what?" "I just realized, I left my keys in the car." "Ooh, I don't think she's ready to meet you just yet, lightning." "Great." "You're taking the pumps, the espadrilles, both mules and the italian leather boots." "Well, you've got really great taste." "Yes, I do." "You like it?" " Excuse me, do these come in A..." " 6, right?" " Yes." "How'd you know?" " 6 is the size models wear." "I'll be right back." "Excuse me." "What do you think of these boots?" "Honestly?" "R.F.Y.L. Run for your life." "Thank you." "I wasn't sure." "All right, let's wrap up those bootsies." "Actually, I've decided against them." "Well, that nice saleswoman convinced me they weren't right." "Really?" "Excuse me." "What did you just do?" "I burped, but I didn't think anybody heard." "No, with my customer." "You just cost me a sale." "I'm sorry, but she asked for my opinion." "From now on, keep your opinions to yourself." " But..." " But nothing." "I can't even look at you." "Just... stay over in casuals for the rest of the day." " What do you want?" "Time is money." " It's happened." "I can't believe it's finally happened." "All right." "Did you cry?" "Because I'm kind of worried I'm going to cry." " What the hell are you talking about?" " What the hell are you talking about?" "I got my first zit." "It's from working the deep fryer." "I took this job to meet girls." "Now, my face is hideous." "Relax." "It's barely noticeable." "Hey, guys." "Nice zit, man." "Hmm." "Hey, Patton, I'd like you to meet my new friend, Lulu." "Some kid was gonna buy her, so I bought her first." "Pearce, you work in a pet store." "You can't buy every animal." "I'm not friends with all of them." "Truth is, there's a couple of them that are pretty stuck up." "Brad, thanks for letting me keep thunder and lightning here in your garage until I figure out what to do." "Well, maybe you could just sell it." "I mean, you'd take a loss, but at least you'd be out of this mess." "That's a very logical solution." "The only problem is, I don't want to." "I'm beat." "I argued motions in three different courthouses today." " I'm gong to fire up the jacuzzi." " I'll be there in a second." "You know, Brad, um... you do better with women than you have any right to." "So let me ask you, if you were me, what would you tell Carol?" "I'd tell her the truth." "I'd say, "Carol, I bought a motorcycle and a sidecar, and I look awesome on it."" "Well, that's just the worst advice ever." "What can I tell you?" "I'm old-fashioned." "How was work?" "Operating wears me out, but I do love giving children their sight back." " Is Lynn home?" " Yeah, she's firing up the tub." "Great, I'll make us margaritas." "See you in the jacuzzi." "So, uh, Bob, what are you gonna do?" " Um... uh... about what?" " About Carol." "Oh, she'd never go for it." "I've asked her like 16 times." "Brad, what am I going to do about this thing?" "If I tell carol about it, she'll kill me." "Well, it's all how you tell her." "I mean, if you run in the house, you go, "hey, hag, I bought a cycle," things ain't gonna work out so good." "You gotta set the mood." "You gotta buy her some flowers." " Give her a neck rub." " Well, I guess I could try that." "Honey, hurry up!" "We're waiting!" "I gotta go." "The old balls and chain, you know." "There you go." "The pink pump in a 5½." "Whoo!" "If I wasn't a married man." " I'll take them." " Ulp!" "Is there something you want to say, miss?" "No." "She has nothing to say." "Those shoes make you look like a whore." "Sorry." "You know... she's right." "Thank you anyway." " Neil, got a minute?" " Sure, what's up?" "Blondie's gotta go." "She's killing all my sales." "You want me to fire your sister?" "She's the only reason I wake up in the morning." "Besides, I'm not good at firing people." "Let me do it." "She'll be out by noon." "Patton, I'll think about it." "All right, but don't think about it too long." "Yesterday the shoe palace across the street took me out for a very long lunch." "I'm just saying." "Hi, honey." "Bob, I think I found us the perfect cruise!" "Well, I think I found you the perfect bouquet!" "What's this for?" "They're flowers for my flower." "Oh, my god, you got fired, didn't you?" "I didn't get fired." "I just thought that you might like some flowers." "Oh, I'm sorry, your sweetness just completely threw me." "Well, you're just tense." "You know what you need?" "You need a neck rub." "Oh, that feels so good." "Oh, my god, my parents are dead, aren't they?" "Carol, would you stop it?" "I'm just trying to do nice things for my wife." "Bob, what is it?" "What do you want?" "What are you hiding?" "Nothing." "Geez!" "I'm sorry." "This is really nice." "Are you feeling good now?" "Are you in a good mood?" "Yeah, I am." "Yeah." "Okay, good, because I have to..." "Oh, hey, Penny." "How are things down at the video store?" "Why don't you ask somebody who still works there?" "No." "No-no-no, she is not going back on allowance." "Damn right we already spent that money." " What?" " In our heads." "All right, I wouldn't get too comfortable, Penny, because you're gonna go out and find another job." "That's the way it works in the real world." "Okay." "I do know one job that pays really well and I'd be good at it." "Well, great." "What is it?" "Not telling mom about the motorcycle you bought." "You're hired." "When can you start?" "No." "Do you really feel like you in those shoes?" " I feel like a stranger." " Exactly." "Let's go find you a sandal." "Excuse me, but if you're done with those shoes, I've got a customer who saw them on you and wants to take them." "Really?" "She thought they looked good?" "On your feet?" "How could they not?" "Size 9 that's the size models wear." "Well, it's first come, first serve, and I'm taking them." " She also wanted...these blue pumps." " Well, she's not getting them." "Ring me up." "Sorry, Georgina, I couldn't f... what's going on?" "This nice salesman convinced me that I should take these." "What do you say we move this party to the register?" "Neil, can I see you in high heels, please?" "Well, I'm open to it, I guess." "What's up?" "The little guy's got to go." "You want me to fire your brother?" "He's one of my best salesmen." "I'm really not comfortable firing people." " I'll do it." " I'll think about it." "Hey, patton, do you have an extra shoe box for mrs." "Hutchinson?" "I just rescued her from the evil grasps of a nine-year-old girl." "Man, that snake would make a perfect size 9 boot." "Anyway, Pearce, you can't keep buying these animals." "I know!" "It's just..." "I saw this beautiful snake and this beautiful mouse, and I couldn't resist." " Where's the mouse?" " Right about there." "Guys, look at my nose it's getting worse." "It's that damn deep fryer." "You know, there's grease flying everywhere." "Yeah, it's all landing in one spot." "I'm the laughingstock of the food court." "Whoa." "It's following me." "What am I gonna do?" "It keeps growing." "You know, pretty soon, I'm gonna be the zit on its face." "Dude, you got to pop it." "No, it's gonna feel awesome." "Like an orgasm for your face." "A "pore-gasm."" "What's going on?" "Oh, my god!" "What am I gonna do?" "Should I pop it or not?" "Whatever you do, don't pop it." "Let me pop it." "I wouldn't lie." "I pop people's pimples all day." "I think this one would actually be a class four." " What's a class four?" " It makes a sound." "That's it." "I quit the burger barn." "You know, that snake would make a perfect size 7 stiletto." "Would one of you guys help that customer?" " I'm on it." " No, I'm on it." "Hi." "I'm Paige." "Can I help you?" "Hi." "I'm Patton." "You have a perfect size 7." "Let me find you some shoes." " That she'll later regret." " At least she'll walk out of here with something." " Stop shoving me!" " Stop shoving me!" "I saw her first." " Are you happy?" "You made her leave." "Ow!" " You made her leave!" "Ow!" "Remember that conversation we had?" "It's time." "Great!" "You're fired!" "No, you're fired!" "Actually, you're both fired." "Thank you for doing it for me." "Pearce, you've got a serious pet problem." "No, I don't." "Then what are you doing with that bird?" "What bird?" "I don't see any bird." " Hey, dude, how'd job hunting go?" " Oh, I stopped looking." "In fact, I asked to work a double shift tomorrow." "Isn't that just gonna feed the beast?" "That's why I'm doing it turns out Paige isn't the only girl who likes popping zits." "Debbie McGuire took one look at this thing and begged me to do it." "So we're going out saturday night." " You gonna let her pop it?" " We'll see." "I might not want to give it up my first date." "Well, it is your first zit." "You want it to be special." "Pearce, your bird's kind of freaking me out how it's staring at me." "He thinks your pimple's a giant berry." "Can't believe it, man:" "You got a girl, a job." "I've got neither." "What happened to the shoe store?" " She fired me." " You fired me." "You wouldn't have gotten that job if you didn't flirt with the manager." "Yeah, well, you wouldn't have gotten that job if you weren't good at selling shoes." "That place had shoehorns smarter than you." "And, then, they had boots taller than you." " Mom and dad said I'm gonna grow." " And you believed them?" " Now who's the dumb one?" " Shut..." "Pearce, your bird popped my pimple!" " It was a class four." " Oh, my god!" "What happened in here?" "Are you okay?" "No!" "I was saving myself for Debbie McGuire." "She was supposed to pop my berry." "What was that scream?" " What?" " Bob, what are you wearing?" "All right, I guess I should probably fess up." "I bought myself a motorcycle helmet." "Oh, great, so now I'm out of a job." "You had to tell mom you bought a motorcycle and sidecar." " What?" "!" " Your one job was to not tell mom." "Wait a second." "You went and bought a motorcycle and sidecar with the money we were gonna use to do something together?" "I can't believe you!" "You stopped giving us allowance so you could buy a motorcycle?" "All right!" "Wait a minute!" "Oh, my god!" "What is this?" "It's called "thunder and lightning", and I look awesome on it, and I'm not giving it back." " Oh, really?" " That's right." "I deserve it." "Ever since the quints were born, every cent I've earned has gone into raising them." "Well, it's time Bob started living for Bob." "Do you really think you've made more sacrifices for those kids than I have?" "Oh, boy." "For starters, I breast-fed five kids at once." "They don't just snap back after that." "And you want sympathy because all the money you earned goes into raising them?" " At least you have a career." " My whole life is the quints." "You think you really deserve to run away more than I do?" "No." "Run away with me." " What?" " You heard me." "Run away with me." "You're insane." "Tell me you don't want to." "Get in, Carol." "We've earned it." " What about the kids?" " They're working age." "They'll be fine." "We can't both just desert the family." "You are overthinking this." "Get in and let's take off." "All right." "Let's go." "Move this hog!" " That was incredible." " That was amazing." "Honey, you did look awesome on lightning." "As the chick sitting behind him." "Honey, now that the kids are out of work, we probably have to start paying them allowance again," " so, I think that..." " Don't worry, I'm going to sell thunder and lightning." " To who?" " I don't know." "We'll find somebody." "Sous-titres par Van'"