"(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)" "Why are all those guys talking to Shawn's girlfriend?" "Well, Shawn and Jennifer broke up this morning." "Look at her." "She's already on the prowl." "Well, how's Shawn taking it?" "Are you kidding?" "Shawn is Shawn." "You can't keep Shawn down." "Get up, Shawn." "She dumped me." "She dumped me good." "And I didn't even see it coming." "Look what they done to my boy." "Look, Shawn, if it's any consolation," "I think you can do a lot better than Jennifer Bassett." "You think so?" "Uh, wait a minute, Topanga." "Have you looked at her?" "Okay, so she's pretty." "She's tall." "She drives a new red convertible." "Oh, heck, I'd go out with her." "Okay." "Okay." "I didn't want to say this when you were going out with her, but if you ask me, Shawn," "Jennifer Bassett is one stuck-up, conceited girl." "Do you think so?" "Oh, yeah." "Nose way up in the air, and, frankly, Shawn, I'm not so sure it's her real nose." "You mean?" "Plastic." "Just like her personality." "So you're really not missing out on anything." "So get up and be Shawn." "Yeah." "Yeah, you're right." "You know what I think, Jen?" "I think you're conceited." "Yeah, that's right." "Conceited and stuck-up and something about your nose." "What about my nose?" "Um..." "Who said something about my nose?" "Um..." "Um..." "So it was your best friend Cory who made you say these bad, bad things, hmm?" "Like I'd ever tell you." "Cory Matthews, son of Alan and Amy, grandson of Nana and Sam." "How could you sell out my Nana?" "You know, I've been thinking." "Maybe there still could be something between us." "I'd be willing to give it another try." "Just as long as you're not mad at Cory." "No, Shawn." "He's your best friend." "How could I ever come between you and your best friend?" "(HISSING)" "(STAMMERING) Did you see that?" "Yeah, I saw that." "Well, what do you think it means?" "Nothing good for you." "Shawn, hey." "Listen, I was just curious." "What does it mean when a girl goes..." "(HISSING)" "Cory, come on." "She was just being playful." "Playful like a spider when it catches a fly and sucks out its head meat?" "She was upset, you know?" "I mean, after all of those terrible things you said about her." "Shawn, I said them to you, to make my best friend feel better about being dumped." "May I speak freely?" "I don't think that's wise." "Well, maybe I'm just not wise, but I think Jennifer, or should I say Zathrak the undead, is a stuck-up, manipulative, cold-blooded..." "Oh, she's right behind me, anticipating my head meat, isn't she?" "Hello, Cory." "All hail Zathrak." "Shawn." "You and I have been working so hard to make this relationship work, but there are some people who only want to tear us apart, so I don't think we should allow those negative presences in our lives." "Do you?" "Well, now, Jennifer, I'm not quite so sure I see it that way." "SHAWN:" "Wow!" "Suddenly everything is so clear." "JENNIFER:" "Then you see my point?" "Yes." "Yes." "You're a really good debater." "So, if you want to be my boyfriend, then I think you should tell Cory you can't see him anymore." "But we've been best friends our whole lives." "I mean, how am I just supposed to say," ""Cory, you're out of my life"?" "Ooh, more." "SHAWN:" "Cory, could you come here for a sec?" "Oh." "Maybe this is good news." "Get up, Cory." "He dumped me." "He dumped me good." "And I thought, "Oh." "Maybe this is good news."" "Well, it's about time you kids got home." "It's almost 11:00." "I was worried sick." "I had Feeny looking for you." "I called the police." "Really?" "Nah." "I didn't even know you left." "So, nice time?" "Yes." "Went to the theater." "Mmm." "Big musical extravaganza?" "Nope." "One-woman show." "Ahh." "Juggling?" "No." "There wasn't any juggling." "She sat on a stool and told the remarkable story of her life." "Oh." "Couldn't afford a real show, huh, Dad?" "Excuse me?" "Thirty bucks?" "You spent 30 bucks to listen to some lady on a stool?" "And we weren't the only ones." "300-seat theater, sold out." "Three hundred seats at 30 bucks a pop?" "That's like 300 times 30." "The show's been sold out for months." "We were lucky to get seats." "Sold out for months, huh?" "Interesting." ""Eric Matthews." "Look at me." "Look at me!" "A one-woman show."" "Oh, yeah." "Man." "See, for me, this would be "man."" "Yeah." "So you're writing a play?" "Yep." "About you?" "Yeah." "You know, let me bounce the opening off you." "Let me bounce this off you." "Nobody cares." "Oh, they'll care." "They'll care because I'm a human life." "And when you look at my human life, there's all these amazing moments that just pop out." "Landmark moments, that when you put them down on paper, they just explode right off the page." "Wake up, damn you." "(PHONE RINGING)" "Hello." "Nope." "No Dory here." "(WHISPERING) Eric, that's for me." "Thanks." "Shawn?" "You're supposed to call me "Dawn."" "Why, is Jennifer there?" "Dennifer!" "No." "She's at the mall." "You know what?" "This is ridiculous." "How can you let some girl tell you you can't see your best friend?" "It's just wrong." "Do you hear me?" "Wrong." "Shawn, are you there?" "Yeah." "I was just listening to the sound of your voice and thinking about the old days." "I gotta see you." "No." "No." "We both know that's impossible." "Because of her?" "You're gonna let her stand in the way of what we had?" "Shawn, if you won't see me, then I'll come right over there and see you." "No!" "No!" "Don't come here." "I will not be ignored." "Okay, I'll see you, but just this once." "That's all I'm asking for." "The library, tomorrow morning, 8:00." "The library it is, then I'll step aside forever." "I want my own room." "Oh, hi, Shawn." "Jennifer, uh, how you doing?" "Really." "I've been looking all over for you, but what are you doing in the library?" "(STAMMERING) I'm studying." "Really." "You see?" "Now that you don't spend all of that time with Cory, you're putting your free time to better use." "Who's the cinnamon bun for?" "What?" "What?" "What?" "This one here?" "Yeah." "The one with the little blue bow and the "C" on it." "Right." "Right." "It's got a "C" on it." "It stands for "See, I knew you'd be here."" "Hi, Shawn." "Oh, Topanga." "Do you know..." "Hi." "Hi." "Look, I just came from the classics section." "You know, classics." "Old favorites?" "There's something there you might be interested in." "Oh, okay, thank you, Topanga." "Just going to go check out that book, then." "CORY:" "Shawn!" "(WHISPERING) Cory." "Is that you?" "No." "It's the audio book section, you moron." "Hey, I was hoping you'd come alone." "Yeah, I tried, but you-know-who wouldn't hear of it." "I think she suspects." "Hey, I understand that she's important to you." "We both knew this would happen eventually." "Getting older." "Meeting girls." "Having relationships with those girls." "Which means there's less time for..." "Best friends." "Best friends to spend time together." "It's only natural." "Sure." "Natural." "Hey, that Cinnabon was for me, wasn't it?" "Cory." "Yeah." "We gotta meet." "But where?" "Paris." "That's the first place she'd look." "(SIGHS) Well, if not Paris, then where?" "Someplace no woman would ever look." "(GASPS)" "The Three Stooges." "I don't see how that would work, actually." "Well, it's simple." "We're just going to have to find stolen time to sneak off and talk about sports and stuff." "That's no life." "It's all we have left." "Shawn, you've been over here an awfully long time." "Is he here?" "He?" "I have no idea of any he of whom you speak." "Run." "See?" "I, uh, told you he wasn't there." "Fine." "Walk me to French class?" "Oh, you seem so tense." "I'll sit behind you and rub your shoulders, hmm?" "Yeah." "I'd like that." "I used to sit behind him." "Mr. Feeny?" "Mr. Feeny!" "I'm right here, Mr. Matthews." "Oh." "Hey, I need you to do me a favor." "I need you to read this." "It's a play I wrote." "Really?" "Yeah." "It's my one-man show, 400 pages all about me." "No, no, no." "Don't care." "No." "No, but this is all about me." "I mentioned you in it, too." "Uh, just listen." ""It's last summer." "I'm on my cross-country road trip, and..."" ""There I was on the dusty, dirty highway." ""The hot wind howled like a kind of howling, hot, windy thing."" "Are you actually going to perform this in front of people?" "Oh, yeah." "Yeah." "I rented out that little theater on Beck street, you know, the one right above the bowling alley?" "That reminds me." "I'd like you to have this complimentary ticket." "Ahh!" "Gee." "Yeah." "Uh..." "Oh, yeah." "Another thing." "If you have any friends that are, like, play types, if you could do me a favor and maybe sell 50 or 100 of these." "Really appreciate it." "$30 each?" "Yeah." "Well, the matinee's 22.50, but, between you and me," "I kinda pull back on my performance a little bit." "Well, I can see you've thought this through, so best of luck, and, uh..." "Wow." "Mmm!" "Company, huh?" "It's adorable." "He's been at it all afternoon." "Honey, do you need some help?" "Mom, I said dinner was at 6:30 sharp." "Here it is 7:02 and nowhere to be seen." "(KNOCKING)" "There she is." "Everything's okay." "Topanga, you have no idea how much he loves you." "We'll just get out of your way." "Sorry I'm late, Cory, but the pie took forever, and I wanted it to be perfect for your big dinner tonight." "Thanks, but I'm afraid we've both wasted our time." "He'll show up." "Yeah." "He'll show up." "In the meantime," "I'll just stick my beef brochettes back in the oven until they're ruined!" "Look, Cory, I've got to go to dinner with my parents, and you have got to lighten up, mister." "(PHONE RINGING)" "Aren't you going to answer that?" "Oh, let him worry for a change." "(PHONE CONTINUES RINGING)" "Oh, who am I kidding?" "Hello?" "It's me." "Look, uh..." "You're not coming." "I just can't make it tonight, man." "I see." "Is that okay?" "Well, if you're asking me am I hurt, no, I'm not hurt." "It's just that Jennifer invited me to her country club." "And you couldn't very well tell her you're having dinner with me?" "Cory, she found my box of Cinnabon receipts." "I told you to burn those!" "I couldn't, and now she won't let me out of her sight." "JENNIFER:" "Shawn, our court's open." "Look, I gotta go." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry, too, but I'm not hurt." "He doesn't even like tennis." "Cory, look at yourself." "You're a wreck." "Don't you see, Topanga?" "Shawn doesn't need me anymore." "He's got Jennifer now." "Look, Cory, when you and I first started going out," "I never kept you from seeing Shawn because I understand that there's something about a best friend that no one can replace." "You understood that?" "Of course." "Why would I spend the entire day baking a pie that I know I'm never going to eat?" "Because you're a sweet girl." "And Shawn deserves a sweet girl, too." "A girl who understands that a best friend is part of who you are." "And if she doesn't accept your best friend, then she's really not accepting you." "Yeah." "So what do you think I should do?" "I think you should forget about dinner here, clean up the kitchen, and, in about an hour, go have dinner at Chubbie's." "Why?" "In about an hour." "(SLAP)" "(BABY CRYING)" "June 24, 1978." "I..." "Am..." "Born." "Sadat and Begin win the Nobel prize." "John Paul "I" "I" is elected the new pope." "And a new dance craze sweeps the nation." "(DISCO MUSIC PLAYING)" "Remember?" "Remember?" "1984, I poo-poo on a bus." "Nobody likes me." "Topanga?" "You, uh, wanted to see me?" "No." "Actually, there's somebody else who wanted to see you." "Well, I know you two don't get to see each other very often anymore, so I'll just wait outside." "(SIGHS) That's some girlfriend." "I've always thought so." "So, shoot some stick?" "I'll rack." "I'll break." "You know, Shawn, we used to be able to play a game of pool without the specter of the Wicked Witch of the West hanging over us." "Not that I'm saying your girlfriend's a wicked witch or anything." "No." "No, of course not." "Look, if you're going out with this girl, then there's gotta be something real nice about her." "And I just want you to be happy." "Thanks, but it's so hard to take you seriously with chalk on your nose." "Oh." "Did I get it?" "Nah." "Here, let me." "(GASPS) (SCREAMING)" "Shawn, how could you do this to me?" "No." "No, no, no." "This isn't Cory." "(STAMMERING) This is cake." "Well, obviously, it's not cake, the kind of cake you're used to, but I can explain." "No." "No, no." "I can't." "How did you know I was here?" "I got an anonymous tip on my cell phone." "But from who?" "I mean, the only one who knew we were here was..." "Oh!" "Topanga." "Yes." "It was I who made the call." "But why?" "It's time she knew." "That's right, Jennifer." "Cory and Shawn have kept their relationship alive, despite your evil attempt to keep them apart." "Because, in the end, Jennifer, true friendship is stronger than the allure of a cheap kiss." "Hey!" "I'm talking to you up there!" "So, even though you swore you wouldn't, you've been sneaking behind my back to see him." "Yeah, I have." "Look, I don't have time for this." "I'm giving you an ultimatum." "It's him, or it's me." "Okay, what do you got?" "I can't top that." "Wait, wait, wait." "Hold on." "Look, Cory's my friend, okay?" "And so is Topanga." "Now, if you can't be friends with my friends, then I'm not so sure I want to be friends with you." "We can still kiss." "(EXHALING)" "Consider yourself dumped, Shawn." "Did you hear me?" "I said, you're dumped." "It doesn't bother me this time, Jennifer, because this time I realize" "I'm getting more than I'm losing." "Well, I hope you'll all be very happy together." "Yeah." "I know." "I know. (HISSING)" "Well, gang, the good thing is things are finally back to normal." "No more secrets." "No more lies." "No more sneaking around." "Yeah." "Yeah." "We can do whatever the heck we want to do together whenever we want to do it." "So?" "(CHUCKLES) What do you want to do?" "I don't know." "What do you want to do?" "See you at school?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Okay." "I'll see you at school." "Okay." "I am 18 years old, and at a crossroads in my life." "Crossroads." "Transition." "I'm now 5 again." "Kindergarten, and I don't know which cubbie is mine." "Crossroads." "Nap time." "How you doing?" "Oh, Mr. Feeny, why did I expect anybody to come and hear me talk about my life?" "My life is meaningless." "I mean, look at this." "My own parents are sleeping through it." "Eric, in the play of your life, all your great scenes lie ahead of you." "So, you're saying, in like 30 or 40 years," "I could write a play that you'd want to come and see?" "No." "Tonight pretty much killed any interest I had in theater." "Mr. Feeny, you know everything." "Where does my life go from here?" "Well, now, you have passion." "You have drive." "You certainly have guts." "I, frankly, can't wait to see what happens to you." "So you're not going to tell me to give up my life as an actor and go get a college education?" "Eric, I told you to get a college education 10,000 times." "I don't have to tell you anymore." "And what about my life as an actor?" "Get a college education." "Say, this part's pretty good." "Yeah." "Those two are great together."