"Your mother, she was on the red carpet bragging about whupping you." " Oh, were you a doting mother?" " Oh, I whupped him good." "I'm marketing a family-friendly franchise." "I can't defend barbaric acts like hitting kids with extension cords." "I like the words "I made a mistake."" "I want you to escort Cam and his mother to a press conference at 2:00 today to say those words." "Da Chen Bao... that's like the Nike of China." "At Nike, you'll be one of many." "But at Da Chen Bao, you will be our only American basketball player, the centerpiece of our brand." " Welcome aboard, Todd." " Appreciate the job, sir." " Ah, please, call me Reggie." " I prefer sir." "Role as house manager is service and respect." "Listen, uh, you know, my cousin, he just needs assurances that the security system works." " Most assuredly, sir." " Coke is courting us." "Let this be known... only Coke comes in the house." "Sir, I have a bit of a personal problem involving my mother." "Mom was at the airport hailing a taxi." "Bags were on the luggage cart, had her back to the luggage cart, cart rolls off the curb, knocks Mom over, breaks her leg in three spots." "Kind of stupid that those luggage carts don't have hand brakes." "She's got two plates and nine 70-millimeter screws in her fibula." "She's in searing pain." "I'm sorry to hear, Todd." "They have good pharmaceuticals nowadays." " They can be relied upon." " I will say a prayer." "I'm not a believer, but thank you." "What would be of great help, sir, would be a... a small loan." " We just hired you, Todd." " I'm aware." "And I love this job and it grieves me to ask." "However, there are certain burdens that insurance won't address." "To wit, chiropraction, and enhanced hospital meal plan." "Mm-hmm." "Also, Mom doesn't have the upper body strength for crutches." "Her only means of locomotion is a medical knee scooter." "How much we talking about here, Todd?" "Approximately $11,000." "That's a quarter of your salary." " I wish I made more." " Got to be another option." " You got a sibling?" " My half-sister Beth." "Beth got any money?" "Beth drowned in 2007." "Water's tough." "Water's one of the tough ones." "Look, I, uh..." "I'm sorry, but I can advance you three K." "I don't feel comfortable with anything else." "Understood." "Thank you." "I'm embarrassed I turned a personal matter into a professional one." "No, no." "Yeah, no, it's okay." "Look, I'm sorry, you know, about your mom." "Sorry about Beth." "Sorry all I can give you is three K." " I won't make mention again." " Okay." " My apologies." " Yeah." "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey." "My name is Julius." "I just moved in right here." "Harlan Morgan, next-door neighbor." "Yeah, well, thanks for the housewarming gift." "The other neighbors done gave us fruit baskets." "What the fuck is this?" " You don't like dogs?" " No, I don't like shit." "Now, you gonna police the rest of that residue up off the ground?" " The what?" " The base layer." "It's all in the stone." "The logs is the easiest part." "Then, well, how would I do that?" "Buy a power washer, hook it up to your house." "No." "Well, it's... it's barely even a shadow." "Well, it don't take nothing but a little bit of shit to start a plague." "Moving forward, stop letting this dog shit all over the neighborhood." "Now you understand that we're neighbors?" "Yeah, do you understand that you got a big bag of shit in my face right now and this is a gated community?" "We trying to keep the shit out of here and not locked in here." "You understand that?" "Well, it was really nice to meet you, Julius." "Yeah, take your dog up there and shit in your driveway." "Black Mister Rogers-looking motherfucker." "Machine's empty." "What the fuck does Todd do all day?" "Not empty." "You just got to put in 50 cents now." "Coke charging us for free Coke?" "No, I am." "Giving the money to charity." "Write a check, cheapskate." "It ain't about the money." "Do you know how many half-filled cans" "I've found just laying around here since that thing's been here?" "People take two sips and forget about it." "Again, what the fuck does Todd do all day?" "It's not the mess, either." "It's that it's a symptom." "Of what?" "People drinking things?" "Of us losing respect for how good we got it." "It's free." "It comes here on a truck." "It's greed without gratitude." "Okay?" "It's offensive." "The sin of waste." "How about the sin of being an asshole?" " I'm sorry, what'd you just call me?" " You heard me." "Eh, why we yelling?" "Why we yelling?" "My brother has turned the kitchen into the break room at Stop  Shop." " I priced it below average retail." " Oh, the Coke machine." "Reggie, please tell me this was your idea so I can understand the douchiness." "No, I admire the spirit, but I do agree, it is a pain in the ass, man." "Well, maybe if we couldn't just push a button, we'd be more mindful." "Little brother, you ain't the Buddha." "It ain't your job to make me more mindful or to mold my character." "It's to play basketball so you can make a fuckload of money so I don't have to pay 50 cents for a soda you got for free." "This is Atlanta, Mary Charles, not the last days of Rome." "It's a can of soda, not an orgy." "If it were an orgy machine, I would pay the 50 cents." "Do you remember when we didn't have 50 cents?" "We always had 50 cents." "Don't make our shit worse than it was." "Great, then you got 50 cents now." "It's 2000-whatever." "Nobody has 50 cents now." "I got 50 cent." "Okay, that is a lot of change." "Lets 'em know I'm coming." "Plus it's fireproof." " I got 20 K upstairs." " In quarters?" "Susan Bs, nickels, dimes," " quarters, pennies." " You ever hear of a bank?" " You ever heard of Patty Hearst?" " No." "Huh, 'cause if you had, your money'd be upstairs, too." "But live and let live." " This doesn't piss you off?" " I can afford it." "Cuz, your girl crazy." "Guess I'm alone, then, huh?" "Okay, no problem." "Here's what I think of your mindfulness." "Oh, shit!" "What the fuck?" "It was unfortunate that one was open." "What the fuck is all this cursing about?" "I'm trying to relax." "That's your daughter." "She's mad at soda tax." " Yeah, your mindful... mind that!" " Oh, shit!" " Yo, those are custom cabinets." " Ma, I am sorry, but I am sick and tired of his arrogant bullshit." " Well, you throw like a girl." " And you duck like a bitch." " Oh!" " She throw pretty good." "She almost picked you off." "Look, I ain't looking for a daddy, so stop acting like one, you high-hat, smug fuckie." " I'm sorry, you gonna do something?" " Oh, I'll do something." " Oh, please do something." " Do you want me to do something?" "I'm saying don't sit here and talk about doing something." " Step the fuck up and do..." " Oh, my God!" "What the fuck?" "!" "Oh, my God, my baby!" "Let's get him up." "Lean him up." "Lean him up." " Oh, baby, are you okay?" " Um, no." "How many fingers am I holding up?" " Three, Ma." " Baby, your eyes are closed." "Ma, you always hold up three fingers." "Okay, how many fingers am I holding up now?" "Ma, please." "Who the fuck exercises wearing a big-ass ring?" " Mafioso." " I am sorry." " You punched the money." " Oh, thanks, Ma." "Baby, I'm sorry." "You know what I mean." "Man, we got to get Cam to the hospital." "Last time I seen a eye like that, it was in my hand." "Okay, no hospitals." "We got to keep this as private as possible." " Like Mafioso." " I'ma call the team doctor." "You two best get your story straight." " Oh, my God." " Here you go, ma'am." "Thank you." "It's gonna be okay, baby." "What you thinking, Doctor?" "I think his eye is fucked up." " Is there a prognosis?" " He's very lucky." "Why people always say that when bad things happen?" "If he was lucky, it'd be your eye." "Stupid people are all lucky" " all day long." " Shut up." "He's out 10 days, maybe two weeks." "And goggles from now on." "Goggles?" "You like your cornea or you don't?" "10 days, that's six games." "I'm so sorry, Mr. Flaherty." "I'm over here." "How did it happen?" "I slipped and fell." " On what?" " My eye." " No, what did you slip on?" " On the floor." " There was Coke on the floor." " Which was my bad." "You don't slip on Coke." "Coke is sticky." "Well, after a while it's sticky." "But at first you slip on it." "And it's marble." "Everything's slippery on marble." "Yeah, yeah, I don't know how Italians stay upright." "Uh-huh." "I really want this to be true because I think not telling the truth is a mistake foolish people make." "So are you?" " What, foolish?" " Telling the truth." "Look, I slipped and fell onto my eye in a pile of Coke." "Let's keep the phrase "a pile of Coke" out of this." "I fell onto my eye." "Are you sure that's what you're saying?" "Because you're gonna be saying it a lot." "Yeah, that's what I'm telling people." "Hey, okay." "What do I know?" "I mean, maybe sometimes lying is correct." "There's probably all kinds of shit we never hear about." "Besides, you're not a man who enjoys being told what to do." "Am I right?" "You can deal with the press in the morning." "You see how white people treat you?" " Uncle Julius." " Shut the fuck up, man." "There's still one in the room." "I've had it with this shit." "And I didn't see the Coke on the marble." "I didn't grow up with marble floors, man." "Our floors were made of linoleum." "They were covered in grime." "But you spilled anything, the grime just sucked it up." "Anyways, my feet flew out and unfortunately I landed on my eye." "Coke is incredibly slippery on floors." "Marble floors, bamboo floors." "If you're gonna spill Coke, you got to go outside and do it in the dirt." "Listen, I see you're going with the old-school Kareem goggles." "Yeah, man." "Kareem was a legend, you know?" "I'm just trying to be like him." "Here we are, 2-0, tied for first place, and, you know, I'm just sad I'm not gonna be out there with my teammates trying to stay undefeated because of some crazy freak accident." "I, uh..." "I may be misremembering a little bit." "How much they pay you, Todd, you fuck?" "I hope it was a lot of money because nobody has ever been more fired." "Does your mother like her scooter?" "I hope she scoots off a fucking cliff." "A really, really steep cliff and she's on fire and it's a long way down." "Hey, Reg, I kind of need you over here, man." "One sec, Cam." "Then you can spend the rest of your nonbelieving life knowing that she's an old fucking rotten broke-leg corpse that will never, ever see the face of God that you don't believe in." "Karen." "Excuse me, which of one of these dog repellents is most persuasive?" "You looking for a temporary or a permanent solution?" "I'm looking for a final solution." "Don't get any on your skin." "Just be quiet." " Oh, good." "You brought your mother." " That's right." "When you fuck with my kids, you're fucking with me." "Fantastic." "Everyone, this is Clay Beckwith." "He specializes in defending rich athletes and their felonious relatives." "I'm blessed to have a vibrant practice." "Honestly, Mr. Beckwith, we're all amazed it's come to this." "Yeah, see, we thought we could do whatever stupid shit we wanted." " She apologized." " 15 times." "And he accepted those apologies because he knew he had a ass-kicking coming." "You missed his ass by a considerable distance." "You take what's available." "It's an inexact science." "Would you three little shits shut the fuck up?" "We're here because of a legal situation." "That's why we're paying this fuck nut." " Thank you so much." " You're welcome." "Look, folks, I think we all understand what's happened here." "What we've got here is a politician trying to make a name for herself." "There is no more sanctimonious force on the face of this Earth." " What's sanctimonious mean?" " White." " So what do I say to her?" " Absolutely nothing." "Nobody speaks for our side but me." "My job is to keep you all out of jail." "Because being a lesbian is much less fun when you have to." "You lied to my fucking face." "You want to lose that ring?" "And clean up them goggles." "Reg, let me get your pocket square." "Use your pocket square." "No, mine's for decoration." "Mine's for decoration, too." "Look, I'm trying to make a good impression." " It's too late." " Your goggles are fine, gentlemen." "Un-fucking-believable." "We make it out of the hood and now somebody's going to jail?" "This is all on you, you know?" "How the fuck you figure that?" "You couldn't throw a bone to the guy we had watching over everything in the house." "Hey, my letter of resignation is in your in-box whenever you want it." "Don't always be playing that card, because one day I'm gonna call that bluff." "Hey, you remember when you didn't need somebody to watch over your shit?" " Yeah, it was April." " Yeah, so shut the fuck up, April money." "I am the one in trouble, so how about you two shut the fuck up before I beat the fucking shit out of both you little cunts?" "Dear God, nobody speak in there." "Mr. Flaherty, sorry I lied." "No, you'll know for next time, which shouldn't be long." "Just look away." " It's a pleasure to see you, Mr. Beckwith." " Sandra." "Ma'am, can I just say right out I am not gonna press charges." "This is not up to you, Mr. Calloway." "This is a criminal matter." "It's nobody's business what happens between me and my brother." "The people will decide what their business is." "Can't we just move forward?" "This is not the time to move forward." "This is the time to sit still and steep in regret and shame." "Domestic violence..." "Whoa, whoa, whoa." "Domestic violence?" "This wasn't domestic violence." "It was just people punching in the house." "Yeah, it wasn't even her fault." "I provoked her." " With physical force?" " No, with the tone of my voice." "What I said." "I was very angry, like, vocally." " He was asking for it." " Yeah, I was asking for it." " He did ask for it." " There is no asking for it." " We do not blame the victim." " I am not a victim." "He's my brother." "Siblings fight." "You're adults." "Physical violence is not an acceptable form of conflict resolution." "My father was 74 years of age and he beat the shit out of my Uncle Jerome with his own walker." "Are you really gonna go door-to-door looking for every sister who ever punched her brother?" "You'd be a tired motherfucker." "Jesus Christ, what did we just say not 11 seconds ago?" "Just shut the fuck up and let the lawyer and the DA talk." "You ever see Law  Order?" "This is the order part." "What disturbs me most is that neither of you seems to grasp what took place, and that's far too common." "Domestic violence committed by women upon men is a quieter problem, but it's a problem that needs a voice." "We must judge everyone on the same plane." "Hold everyone to the same standard of civilized behavior." "We can't have half the population hide behind the cloak of supposed physical inferiority or force the other half of the population to suffer under the yoke of machismo cliché." "This issue has been in the shadows long enough." "It's the people's job to bring the light." "And we could not agree more." "And given Mr. Calloway's high profile, we see this as an opportunity to start the conversation." "Which is why I asked you here as opposed to just sending the sheriff to arrest Miss Calloway, which given her prior record..." "I didn't steal that bike." "I borrowed it." "Which given her prior record would not have gone well for her since she's ineligible for a diversion program." "But I gave it back." "After all, the most important thing is to start the conversation." "Well, if the people will forgo prosecution," "Cameron and Mary Charles will start the conversation." "I'd insist on therapy and community service for Mary Charles even if they did start the conversation." "Starting the conversation would not preclude therapy or community service." "Shall we say 50 hours of therapy and 500 of community service and they start the conversation?" "How about 70 and 1,000 and they start the conversation?" "60 and 800 assuming there's some goodwill that comes out of all this and they start the conversation." "They can tell their story." "I will watch, listen, and decide." "But the people are making no promises." "Who the fuck are the people?" " I mean, she's the only one there." " Shh." " We the people." " I'll tell you later." "Yeah." "Julius." "Harlan." "Where's Oscar?" "Well..." "Oscar passed away." "No." "Did they say what cause?" "Excessive exposure to dog repellent." "What's dog repellent?" "It's for people who don't like dogs." "Oh." "Oh, my God." "They sell that?" "In stores?" "Yeah." "Yeah, he was my north, my south, my east, my west." "My working week and my Sunday rest." "Yeah, he was a good dog." "Real regular." "It... oh." "You know, people are awful, Julius." "I will agree." "People suck." "Get a cat next time." "They got nine lives." "Hello, Georgia Public Radio listeners." "I'm Savannah Couronis and this is The Daily Peach." "We are speaking with basketball star and domestic violence victim Cam Calloway and his sister and assailant Mary Charles." "Now, a warning to our listeners." "Some of the language in this segment might be a bit graphic." "Cam, some in the media are calling you a P word that rhymes with wussy and I believe means the same thing." "A big P word that rhymes with wussy." "Here's a quote from Charles Barkley." ""Cam Calloway is the league's biggest P word that rhymes with wussy."" "How do you respond?" "I thank God for Charles Barkley." "You know, I don't know where we would be as a society if we didn't have great minds like Charles helping us figure stuff out." "One of the great things about this country is that the most qualified people have the loudest voices." "Journalists have a job to do and they're doing it very well." "They're not judging us, which would be so easy for them to do." "They're not invading our privacy or elbowing each other out of the way to say the same simple, obvious thing over and over again until, you know, you want to throw up." "Or turning our lives into scandal porn in order to feed some sick national hunger for other people's dirt." "They're better than that." "And with that being said, Savannah, I'm not a P word that rhymes with wussy." "You know, I'm a good person who has value." "Hmm, every beaten man needs to be able to say that, don't they, Cam?" "Men need to find their voice." "You are very brave." "Mary Charles, are you a monster?" "Savannah, the person who threw that punch, that's not who I am." "It's the I I was, not the I I am or the I I will be." "I've moved forward." "Well, just some cynics might think that you haven't learned much." "I've learned so much." "What is that much?" "I've learned that this is something God is in charge of." "How so?" "You know, I don't know." "It's a mystery." "I just let go and let God... and let Him use me how..." "the way He intended." "If God intends for me to be someone who endures turmoil and shame in order to bring awareness to domestic violence, then so be it." "I got no quibbles with God." " Yeah, we're big fans of God." " Hmm." "So God told you to punch your brother?" "Oh, I don't say what God does or doesn't say." "I just keep moving forward." "I'm a work in progress, you know?" "What does... what does that mean?" "God knows, I don't." "Take a guess." "Time will tell." "I don't follow." "That is the mystery." "It's hard to follow." "You just... you just trust." "You forgive yourself." "You move on." "And I look to God and just hope that awareness is being raised." "Hmm." "Cam Calloway and his assaultive sister Mary Charles." "Next up, Fresh Air with Terry Gross and her guest, homosexual David Sedaris." "He's talking about his new gender-neutral version of The Mikado." " That's up next." " Clear." "Come here, you smug piece of shit!" "You want to chew on my carcass?" "Let me get you a toothpick." "You think you're the first girl who ever came at me?" " He was charging me for Coke!" " You have serious issues." "And if I weren't journalist enough to avoid ever making myself the story, I would press my own charges." "How does that feel, Savannah?" "It's a headset, you fucking idiot." "I will be back to punch you in your fucking P word." "Get out, get out." "Any word from that DA?" "Mm-mmm." "Lawyer thinks she wants more time." "I thought she was sanctimonious and white." "Well, turns out she was sanctimonious and black." " There's got to be a word for that." " Yeah, reverend." "Gonna take a whole lot to make that bitch happy." "Nobody's happy until they just suck out every ounce of your self-respect." "I don't give a shit about self-respect." "I will run through Centennial Park naked with a banana stuck up my ass to keep from going to jail." " Pass the soy sauce." " What?" " The China gravy." " Oh." "What's wrong with you?" "I killed the neighbor's dog." "Oh, come on, who is that now?" "Could be anybody." "Could be the DA's office, the sheriff's office, the Michael Vick Foundation." "This guy." " Hello?" " Are you out of your mind?" " Chen?" " You are the face and voice of my company." "You cannot tell the world you were beaten by a woman." "There are no high heels on my sneakers." "We have a word for you in China." "It means man with womanly characteristics." "You came all the way from Shanghai just to have this conversation?" "No, I was in Orlando." "We're canceling Cam's deal." "Maybe he can sell ballet slippers." "Okay, I've heard enough." "Julius, shut the cameras off." "I shut 'em off." "Ain't no more security cameras in this house." " Who's the new talent?" " That's my mother." "Not possible." "Did you have him when you were 11?" " Ooh, shit!" " Oh." "I meant it as a compliment." "You called my son a pussy." "Why, 'cause he got hit?" "Well, I just hit you." "Does that make you a pussy?" "No, it makes me someone in need of cocoa butter." "You have such power in your arms, which are sinuous yet feminine." "You generate such leverage, like a much more attractive Manny Pacquiao." " Hit me again." " What?" "She don't need none of your compliments, all right?" "No, don't... don't kick away my compliments." "Look, he just compared you to Manny Pacquiao." " Sit down." " Okay, look, what she needs... actually, what we all need is your help." "Da Chen Bao, madam." "Very much completely at your service." "Not for nothing." "What?" "Oh, shit, it's on." "Last year, 385,000 men were reasonably seriously injured by the women who beat them." "That's 770,000 every two years." "That's a million every three years." " A million." " And then another million." "And then another million." " And then another million." " And then another million." "Just more women beating more and more men." "And it has to stop." "Stop saying, "We're smaller, so how could we possibly hurt you?"" "Stop saying, "Take it like a man."" "Stop saying, "Walk it off."" "Stop women-splainin'." "Stop demonizing men." "Stop saying, "You provoked me."" "Stop saying, "That mouth of yours is gonna get you into trouble."" "Stop saying, "He's just gonna have to tough it out."" "Our heart break when faced with sadness." "Our tears are wet like yours." "Domestic violence isn't funny." "Stop saying, "Boys don't cry."" "'Cause we do." "I know the stats don't really compare, but..." "But just because they beat way more women than we do men don't mean that the men we beat don't hurt." "Domestic violence is nothing to joke about." "Stop it." " Stop it." " Stop it." " Stop it." " Stop it." " Stop it." " Stop it." " Stop it." " Stop it." " Stop it." " Knock it off." "Did you have a say in this?" "We are long past the point of having a say." "We just do what we're told to do and keep our heads down till the moment passes." "When people use a false equivalency to make light of domestic violence against women, it makes me want to punch someone in their fucking face." "I think I'm gonna go for a run."