"GRADE 3" "THE FRIENDS" "Why don't we kiss?" "What for?" "What do you mean, what for?" "Because it's nice, idiot" "Are you kidding me?" " No" " No, no, no" "Come on, it's nice" "No, leave me alone" "Come on, I don't bite" "What's wrong with you?" "!" "Leave me alone" "What a coward, you're so boring" "Hey, I just can't be bothered." "Oh, the poor little fag can't be bothered Come on, man" " Are you being serious?" " Of course" "Okay." "Yes" " Okay?" " Okay, okay, okay" "Come on, you're not doing anything" "Neither are you" "Come on, close your eyes, like this" "No, I like it with my eyes open" "Alright, relax, like this" "Come on, Matias, act like a man, will you?" "Hey, it's not that easy!" "But relax, don't stress so much" "Okay, I'm trying to do something, okay?" "You're not doing much either" "Hey, that's fresh, I proposed this" " Hey!" " Okay..." "You can't be such a coward, man Come on," "still want to, don't pretend you don't Hey, come on, you still want to anyway" "Okay..." "You want this, come here Look, put your hand here, okay Put this one here..." "But relax, relax" "There, okay, go" "And, was it good?" "Was it bad?" " Good" " Did you like it?" "Yeah, really good" "Why are you looking at me with that face?" "Tell me, was it nice, was it good, was it bad?" " So-so" " Okay..." "No!" "Man, no, it was really good... really good" "No, man, it was disgusting, awful, no, no I didn't like it at all" "How could you kiss me that roughly?" "So slobbery, you even put your tongue up my nose" "Disgusting" "THE WEDLOCK" "Good night." " Gabriela" " Mmm?" " Gabita" " I love you" "I, I, I think I'm not up for it tonight" " Are you asking me?" " No, I'm telling you, honey" "I'm fine here, thanks" "THE EX Didn't I tell you that I bring you" "THE EX to the door of your house?" "THE EX I'm a gentleman" "Yes, thank you very much" "Well, it was nice seeing you" "Yes, wasn't it?" "Yes, I liked the idea of being able to get together, eat, have a drink, and for it to be..." "For it to be what?" "Civilized" "Do you know who's been missing you a lot lately?" "The dog..." "No..." "You're lovely mother" "No, not my mother either, no, no..." "My family never wants to see you again, eh?" "To my family, you're the bad guy" "And to my mother, you're the slut" "Oh" "Who then?" "Guess" "You" "A part of me" "Your little forest" "It was really nice" " Good night" " Good night" " Well, thank you for everything" " No, thank you." "Bye" "Bye" "I didn't eat her, I didn't eat her, man..." "Sorry buddy, forgive me" "What are you doing?" "!" "I'm like a turkey, sorry, it's that I have a small bladder, you know me, besides," "I'm marking my territory" "Do you want to come in?" "No, I already peed it all, no need to come in" "Do you want to come in and have a drink?" "Really?" "THE BIRTHDAY" "I'm sorry, grandpa, excuse me." "I think I have the wrong house" "No, I don't think so" "Oh, um, I'm Teresa" "I'm looking for Armando" "I am Armando" "I'm serious." "Does Armando live here?" "You must be the lady I requested from Mrs. Telvina" "Yes, I am." "Oh, but grandpa, this is all bad" "Why?" "What you need is a nurse, or a priest, or anything except me, I'm sorry" "No, no, no." "I have the money" "Oh grandpa, with all due respect..." "What is it?" "It's just that I can't incriminate myself with you Understand?" "One little wiggle and I'll kill you" "Let's leave it for your next reincarnation, okay?" "Reincarnation" "I'll show you how I reincarnate it" " all into you, honey" " Excuse me?" "I want to enjoy life, even if it's for the last time" "What a joy it is to see you" "Why don't you come in?" "Have the kindness." "This way, come in" "SHARED APARTMENT" "Shit!" "What the fuck?" "It's all dirty..." "Don't you like big dicks?" "Give it all to me then It's going to hurt, eh?" "You don't deserve this, kitten" "No, it's okay..." "What a mess, I can't believe this guy" "Fuck me, Fuck me mmm..." "But look at that, honey..." "That garbage is out of line, for fuck's sake Come here, come" "Harder!" "Harder!" "More!" "Mmm, you're so hot." "Hot" "You're hot, honey" "Hey dog, what's up with the garbage?" "It's been there for four days, what's up?" "Can't you smell it rotting?" "If we're living together we have to share, man Huh?" "Please, I asked you to do it, and no Over and over," "I tell you and you don't do a thing And this, huh?" "What's this, dog?" "Shit, I get it..." "You just want to pull up a chair, easy, and wait for the rats to multiply." "So, you're an idiot." " Hey..." " Hey, that's not true..." "Four thousand times, how long is this going to last?" "Four thousand times is too much..." "Mmm, too much, don't you think, honey?" "Cutie, hottie, mmm, you're the hottest" "No, you're hot" "You're so hot" "No, you're hot" "Yummy, kitty" "Hey, what if we go to our room right now?" "I'm going to get the whipped cream" "Oh, what are we going to do, play with the cream?" "What are you going to do to me?" "Papayas and cream" "Yum, hot." "And you, what are you doing here in your room, all by yourself, huh?" "Nothing" " Aren't you going out?" " No?" "Oh, the froggy is laughing" "Yeah, what are you doing here?" "You don't have class tomorrow" "Go out man, go for a spin, a club, or anything" "What is your mission on earth, dog?" "Party!" "You're young, for fuck's sake" "You know what I'm talking about, man" "What are we here for?" "Scoring, right dog?" "Go out for a spin, get some babes, huh?" "Go get some pussy, a blowjob, some ass What's up dog?" "Yeah..." "Friday night, man Huh?" "Like me, man..." "I'm going to eat her up" "It's Tuesday, man" "GRADE 1" "Come on, cookie, don't get mad." "Hey, hey" "Mmm?" "You're lasagna was amazing Is that your mother's recipe?" "It's the same one I always make" "It was really good, but a bomb" "No, really cookie, I don't feel like it today" "Well, when are you going to feel like it?" "Well, I don't know." "Do you want an exact date?" "October 19h, 2009?" "Is that good for you?" "Can't you wait for the weekend, honey?" "Cristian, we haven't made love for 3 weeks" "Hey, it hasn't been 3 weeks" "No?" "And when was the last time?" "Cristian!" "Well, I don't know" "I don't keep a record of when we have sex, Cookie" "And the answer should always be "last night"" "Please, nobody does it every night" "Do you think that the underwear has to come down as soon as the sun sets and then we have to do the thing?" "Please..." "Cookie" "I know Gabriela, I know" " I love you" " Me too" "Give me a little kiss" "Okay, okay, okay" "Honey, I need orgasms Several orgasms" "Well, order them on the phone, huh?" "Ask for a special order of orgasms and if they're not here in three minutes, they're free Cookie... free" "Mmm" "Okay Chuni, let's do it" "Seriously?" "Let's to it." "Let's do it." "Cookie, I want to do it too, eh?" "Okay" "Okay" "I also feel like it, yes." "Why would I lie if I also want to do it?" "Okay, okay" "What are you waiting for?" "Well, I thought that you were going to start" "Oh no, I always have to start, it's your turn" "You never take the initiative, you always lie back and wait for me to kiss your entire body" "First of all, Gabriela," "I thought that we were going to stop saying "you never", huh?" "It's like I have to have a lawyer to sleep with you" "I'm going to have to call your brother Rafael" " and ask for an appointment" " You can't be this straight-faced," "Cookie I swear, you always go and lie back" "I have to kiss your entire body and you go:" ""Oh, Cookie, that's nice, do that, do that"" "And then you want to bone me right away" " That is not true" " Yes, it's true" "That is not true, do not raise false testimony" "Cristian, it's true, it's true" "I wish it wasn't true!" "I wish we weren't talking about this whole thing" "Come on, honey No!" "I swear" "What's wrong with us?" "Nothing's wrong, honey, nothing's wrong, huh?" "You want to do it," "I want to do it You want me to take the initiative, well..." "I'll take the initiative!" "Huh?" "Is that what you want?" "Huh?" "Do you want me to do the bad monster?" "Do you want the monster?" "I'll do it, I'll do it" "Brrrr, the headless monster that you like" "Mmm ugly, he's bad" "The immortal" "Umm... excuse me" "What is it?" "Nothing, it's just a little dark down there" "I can't see well, honey, I want to be sure that I can get to business there, and, umm, and make you happy." "Okay" "Okay, okay." "Scary monster" "What is it, man?" "Easy man, easy" "I came to ask you something" "What is it?" "I thought that we could do something hot Hot, something hot, really hot" " What is it, man?" " Did you see Inesita today?" "Hot, eh?" "Gorgeous, man, a true babe." "A real one, man, from Santiago, private school, good shampoo, hot water, good language" "What did we come to Santiago for, man?" "From Arica, man, like brothers, together, huh?" "So papa eats prime, papa shares Santiago" "I want to give you a chance, mmm?" "Do you want to come into the bedroom with us?" " All three of us?" " All three" "Of course, man" "Good, man, that's my dog" "Let's see, wait" "Okay, there, there" "Yes?" "Yes." "No, no look, look, hey." "Cuec, cuec." "Like that, shhh, look, there, mm?" "You can play here, look" "Pumping, pumping" "Here, like this" "Hey..." "Come, come" "You know, I think maybe you're not the woman" "I think it could work, but with another woman" "I know you too much, Cristina, and I feel like talking," " like watching TV with you" " I'm the only one!" "Do you think another girl is going to want to go to bed with you knowing that you're a pansy?" "No, man!" "There are plenty of women who would like to be with a gay man, and everyone knows that You know it" "Well you're standing in front of one" "Are you into gay guys?" "Cristina, you're into gays" "You've never told me, you're into gays!" "If you're into gays, you are gay, girl" "No, man, no, I'm not into gays, I'm not" "Too gay, too gay" "No, listen to me" "Now I understand everything" "No..." "They give me a special morbid fascination" "I think that, mmm, it could be nice." "Couldn't it?" " You're gay, girl" " No, man, I'm not gay," "I'm not interested in having anything else with you, don't freak out" "You're gay then" "Look, the only thing I'm interested in is watching you turn into a man that loves tits," "I don't know..." "That loves pussy, clitoris, periods, chicks!" "Mmm?" "Periods?" "Sounds really nice, Cristina, really" "Don't be gross" "Gross?" "Good, wonderful..." "It's as if the devil has taken hold of my body" "Do you understand?" "Yes" "I can feel fire coming out of my schlong!" "Schlong?" "Grandpa, let's set something straight first" "Don't ask me to do anything dirty, all right?" "I don't do degenerate things." "Agreed?" "Agreed" "Fantastic." "So, you told me it was your birthday" "Yes, my birthday" "And, how old are you now?" "Well..." "I'm turning seven thousand years old" "But it feel's like I'm thirty!" "I feel like Johnny Weissmuller" "And who is Johnny Weissmuller?" "Who is Weissmuller?" "He was the best Tarzan in the history of film" "Ohh, Tarzan" "He could call the elephants with a single shout" " Sure..." " He'd go like this:" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa..." "Is something wrong, Mr. Armando?" "Umm, excuse me, Miss" " Do you feel all right?" " No, no, I'm fine" " Do you want me to help?" " No, no, I'll be right back" "Aaaa..." "The blue pill, that's all..." "Look at yourself." "Incredible, incredible" "This is incredible, look," "This is deluxe wine" "Deluxe view, house, haircut..." "You've outdone yourself, so modern" "Yes?" "Everything is so different." "Since when do you drink wine?" "Huh?" "Didn't wine give you heartburn?" "Don't be silly, good wine never gives heartburn" "Okay" "Yes!" "Did you know that wine has made me travel a lot?" " Get out..." " No, really," "I think that I've practically been around the world a couple of times" "More than the pope" "Besides, it makes me look good with company" "Come, come and try it, come" "Oh, guests" "Yes, I can't complain, I have a lot of company" "Lots of men, huh?" "Plenty of lovers too, huh?" " Are you jealous?" "Jealous..." "For your information, both men and women come to this house." "Luckily, the world didn't end after you, Gaston" "What are these things?" "No, they're berries" "Berries, what do you need berries for?" "For the champagne" "Champagne..." "When have you ever drunk champagne?" "Mmm... excuse me." "Look at this." "Mmm, this is a table" "This one won't make it past ten years, no way" "If this table could talk.." "it even smells like man" " Oh, yes?" " Oh, no?" "Let's see, I don't know, help me check" "Come here, closer, lean over" "Hey" "Inhale, hold it, eh?" "Feel the aroma, air it and tell me what it evokes to you" "It evokes ass to me" " You like fucking around, huh?" " What about you?" " You're so" " So what?" "So straight-faced." "Cheers" "But no one does what you like" "So?" "Okay." "David, my friend..." "I know I didn't go much into details in your room" "But I won't be in the mix itself, mmm?" "I'm not going to be in the action, where the fire burns," "I'm going to be here, in my corner" "I'm going to be watching, mmm?" "I didn't tell you but the dice is thrown, man let's do this, let's do this until the end" "And David, I want you to know that I've always thought that you were really cute" "And I've noticed that in this last time we've been fighting a lot because you're a slob" "That bothers me but we're not going to go into discussions now because, we came here for something else, man, we came here to have fun, get it?" "And since I know that we haven't been getting along lately," "I thought, what better than close the year with something big, mmm?" "With something important, something that's going to be in our memories for the rest of our lives." "Huh?" "God willing, we're going to have our family, and we're not going to do what we always wanted to do" "And this is our chance, dog." "Besides, we've known each other since we were kids, our first pubes, our first farts" "Who passed you the ball so you could make that goal in senior year?" "You did" "Who punched Big Willy?" "I did, man" "We were together, I was your brother" "It's your imposing rock, kissed by the sea," "Symbol of glory, homeland and loyalty" "Arica, always Arica," "Arica until death" "Watch out, cops!" "Okay, are you done?" "I wanted to tell you something else, David" "I've always thought that you..." "always..." "Yes, cute, cute, she thinks you're cute" "We got it, but what we need is for you to bring out that animal inside of you" "Besides, she's so hot, so hot, look at her" "She's so cute, kitty, come here honey" " No, you're hot" " No, you, honey" " No, you hot" " Give me kisses, darling" "Okay, lots." " Like that?" " Hot..." " Or like that?" " Mmm..." "Do you want it slow or fast?" "Lights on or off?" "Tongue or no tongue?" " Oh, my mouse..." " Hey come on" "Mmm?" "The thing is, um, there might be a small problem" "What?" "What is it?" "Don't you like Inesita, man?" " She's smoking hot" " No, she's incredible" "Inés, there could be something that might make you not want to do this" " Something like what?" " What?" "That thing grows and grown, man" "Are you washing is with saltpeter, dog?" "Javier..." " Because of that..." " Yeah..." "But no problem, honey, we already talked about it" "What's the problem?" "You're not going to make me look like a liar, now?" "Why did you think I was so motivated?" "That's my rock!" "My rock from Arica!" "Here it is, honey A round of applause for the rock!" "I can't believe it, it's huge" "Besides, the door is already open, baby, what's the problem?" "If you ask me, I'm really horny Can I start touching myself now?" "Are you two horny or not?" "Yeeees, yes, yes" "So?" "Oh yeah, okay, so..." "That's it, girl, do something good for your life..." "Come on, good girl, very good, yes, there leave it there, hot," "this is just what I wanted" "The only thing I'm going to ask is that you do it from every side" "You already stretched out, honey, so don't worry, breathe deep and move your eyebrows." "I've got to take a picture of this, there, smile" "Do you like herb tea?" " How nice, thank you, grandpa" " There you go" "And do you know something?" "I also have a cake" "But that's for later, for mischief, for behaving badly" "Oh, grandpa, you're so sweet." "Do you know what?" "It's a pleasure to work with gentlemen like yourself" "Thank you..." "What I would like though..." "What?" "Could I touch one of your titties, it it's alright" "Go ahead, grandpa!" "That's what we're here for!" "Excuse me Mmm" "Oh holy God, wonderful" "How soft and warm" "My God" "Bim, bam, boom, bim, bam, boom" "I don't know if I can" "I really don't know if I want to either" "Okay, Matias, hey..." "We both know that if I don't get some action," "I'm going to end up falling for some asshole again and go back right to where I started." "Come on..." "Besides, you're the only man I can stand to look at" "Who, by the way, is still clinging to the two-timing fag who dumped him" "Don't call him a two-timing fag" "Oh, he dumped you seven months ago" "He treated you like shit for six years, Matias" " Do you know what he told everybody?" " No, I don't want to know" "So many people have said so much that'm really not interested" "Well, if you're not interested" "What did he say?" "No, you're not interested" " No, tell me" "Oh, but you just said that you're not interested" "No, but you said it, tell me, I am interested" " I tell you all the things your friends say about you" " Look, he said that you were a pain in bed" "That you had premature ejaculation" "That you were too gay, that your dick was tiny" "What hasn't he said?" "I mean, he killed you socially" "You've got terrible taste in men, terrible taste" "He also said that you were a bad dancer" "Really?" "Two-timing fag, two-timing fag, fagget!" "Listen to me, let's have sex" "Come on, Cristina" "This way, you'll stop dragging yourself after your two-timing fag ex and I'll stop wasting my time" "All girls know there's a shortage of men" "In this country, they're like public bathrooms:" "if they're not taken, they're all fucked up." "No, no, I don't want anymore to do with men, at least for another year, I swear, no more..." "And you should do the same" "Okay, I know Lift that" "All right then?" "What do you want?" "Just jack off all the time?" "Hey, so what, masturbation is great..." " It's underappreciated" " No way, no" "Cristina, it's with you..." "I don't want to ruin our friendship" "Oh..." "Yes, it's the truth" "Take it easy, nothing's going to happen" "Take it easy, relax" "Look, sex is really simple" "Mmm" "Sometimes it has meaning..." " Leave that there!" " Come on, I like your tie" "Sometimes it has meaning, sometimes you can stroke someone's face," "hold hands like this, you know?" "You're crazy" "Whisper sweet nothings in someone's ear" "And sometimes, sex is just sex Huh?" " So what" " So what?" "And in our case, it's what we're going to do" "Because that's what friends are for, huh?" "Okay" "Now relax and have this drink, because after that, your old friend Cristina is going to take the microphone" "What?" "Do think about other things when we do it?" "Huh?" "I don't know, it's like sometimes I don't feel you here with me" "It's like you're somewhere else, or thinking about another woman maybe" "Cookie, I'm where I like to be" "Okay, but I don't know..." "Sometimes I feel like you're excited about something else, not me" "Okay, sorry, go ahead" "Are you annoyed that I'm not waxed?" "What?" "Maybe you're not so into it because I haven't waxed" "Gabriela, can I go on?" " Okay, sorry..." " okay" "See?" "Now it's like you're somewhere else" "Cookie, you never look at me when I'm down here" "What, all four times a year?" "I'm being serious" "Are you thinking about someone else?" "Do you think about someone else when we do it, Cookie?" "Cookie?" "Tell me" "Okay, you can say it, I do it too" " Really?" " Sometimes, just sometimes" "And you do it too, Cookie, admit it" " Well, sometimes, not always" " Ha!" "See?" "Who?" "I can't tell you..." "Oh, so mysterious..." "Who is it?" "Come on, tell me, Cookie" "Chino Rios" "The number one tennis player" "No, I know exactly who he is" " You're angry" " No, I'm not angry" "Oh, Cookie, what do you want me to do?" "I don't know, it's Chino" "And what do you like about Chino Rios?" "What, what?" "That he doesn't care?" "That?" "No, I don't know I just imagine him naked" "Oh, Cookie, what do you want me to do?" "Sometimes we're in the middle of it and he just appears in my head, with his racquet, his Polynesian tattoo, his ponytail, the goatee he grows sometimes" " Okay, it's not your fault, honey" " Really?" "Let's go on, okay?" " You're not mad?" " A little bit" "Let me make it better, here, a kiss" "Mmm, nice, here, here" "Are you scared?" " I didn't tell anyone" " No?" "What for?" "In the end, for all these assholes, I was the one that blew it" "No, I blew it" "But you, Gaston you went crazy" " It was our house..." " Okay" "Our bed..." "And I was watching a Chilean soccer match with my godson, what an idiot!" "Stop it" "The dress the wine, everything" "What's wrong with you?" "What's wrong?" "Look at yourself." "Your tits are waving at me..." "Besides, you're not wearing panties" "You just don't get it..." "This is style, okay, panty lines, they're ugly" "And I like to be perfect, always" "Okay." "In case you get laid, right?" "Yes, in case I get laid." "You're absolutely right." "Get it?" "Yes, I get it." "I get that you wanted to loose your panties in order to excite me" "Yes, I was dying to see how your hands would run off without having a chance?" " You wanted to make me horny" " Super horny" "Stop, stop, stop, okay" " What?" " You can't do that" "You can't look at me while you're sucking me" "Why not?" "Because it's strange, it fucks me up" "But you said that you liked it..." "Yes, but it was different" "With Alejandro it was "look at the hot guy who's sucking me off, he's down there, and he's my man"" "But when I see you, it's like what's wrong with Cristina?" "What is she doing with my dick in her mouth?" and I freak out" "Come on, are you saying you don't like it?" "You love it." "You don't like it?" "Am I doing it wrong?" "Not like Alejandro, surely" "No, but it's different, it's different" "When I see you I see both of us when we were sixteen, slipping into gay bar," "I can see your mom, your dad, barbeques at your house, your potato salad" "No, there's nothing wrong with your potato salad, I love it" "But this shit is too real" "Stop complaining, please" "I'm doing this to get you out of that sick and suffocating relationship which is hurting you, man" "You should be thanking me" "Cristina, in the best way possible, really" "You've peed with door open tons of times, you don't care, I don't care either, we've slept together, we go to weddings together..." "I've met all your boyfriends, we go to the gym together, it's like my sister's sucking my dick, really" "Fine..." "Okay..." "Let's skip this part" "No, no, we can't skip it, no" "The thing is, just don't look at me, really" "No, no man, stop, stop" "Too much information, you ruined it for me" "Besides, what about the potato salad?" "Fuck that, you're crazy" "What do you mean, you ruined it?" "Don't be so exaggerated, Cristina" "GRADE 2" "Rip it, take it off" "Take it off, rip it, if you can't unfasten it rip it, man, what's up?" "Come on, rip it, man take it off, what?" "Okay, it's off, it's off, okay" "Yes but that was now, I was telling him to rip it and he should have ripped it, come on, man" "She likes it when you touch her hair" "When you touch her hair touch her hair, man" "Touch her hair, touch it good, man" "If I tell you that she likes it when you touch her hair, then you have to do it" "What are you afraid of?" "There's no monster" "With confidence, bring out the shark that's in you, man, come on!" "I'm fine like this, man" "Okay" "Okay, um, sorry..." "You noticed that I'm right here, mmm?" "So I would like it if when I say something, you do it, okay?" "Because after all, this is all thanks to me." "I'm directing, get it?" "I'm not a mirror..." "It's not like fucking in front of a dog, okay?" "Okay, thanks" "Anyway, it was never my intention to bother" "You know, dog, I don't want to make trouble" "I'm just saying," "I want all three of us to be happy Right?" "Let's enjoy, let's communicate, and we'll be fine I want it to be hot, to be soft, to be easy, cool" "I want us to enjoy this moment, mmm?" "This beautiful moment," "I'm going to be here I'm not going to do anything," "I'll be here Here I am, go ahead" "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you" "Happy birthday Armando" "Happy birthday to you" "Bravo!" "Blow them out" " No, no, now I have three wishes" " Yes, the wishes" "One has already been come true" "Now I'm going to wish for the other two" "Come on, come on" " I want to get it..." " Shhh, softly, they're secret" "I want to get it up," "I want to get it up" "Let's go" "Yaaaay." "Bite it, bite it, bite it" "Who is that?" "Why do you look at her so much?" "She's my late wife, who died from a heart attack," "5 years ago" "Oh, poor thing" "The doctor said that I killed her, liar!" "We loved each other very much, but she gave me little sex, not the sex that I wanted." "So when turned paraplegic, it was like going back to our honeymoon" "We made love day and night, all the time." "Maybe it was too much..." "Maybe I gripped her too hard..." "The things you make up, Mr. Armando" "Right, are you going to eat cake or not?" "Right, now, let's go" "Aaah, no!" "That tickles" "How nice, this is wonderful" "I don't want to feel like an ass again" "Everyone feels any way they can..." "Do you really like me?" "I really like you, but this is just sex." "A fuck, then goodbye" "Who gets it, gets it." "Look at them, look at how they've grown," "Remember daddy?" "Please stop talking to my tits" "It was provocation, to make them say hello to daddy, hello, hello..." "For protocol..." "What?" "Okay..." "Get off, get off" "What is it?" "No, what happened, you set me up" " What?" " Did you plan all of this?" "What, what." "You waxed it all." "What the fuck is that?" "Huh?" "I thought that you were going to like it" " It was my surprise" " Right..." "And my little forest?" "I cut it down" "Cookie..." "We both know that I'm boring in bed" "Oh, honey" "I know that I can't turn you on that much..." "So then I think, what is this all for?" "Look, I've never been the king in bed, Cookie..." "I'm not like "Here I am", no, no, no, I'm more boring" "I know a couple of tricks and that's it" "You don't have to say in either" "But Cookie, honey, honey, let's see..." "If you're not that good, then why am I with you?" "Because you're scared of being alone" "What?" "You're scared of being alone" "You think that the only reason that I'm with you is because I'm scared of being alone?" "Well, a little bit scared" "Oh, I can't believe it," "I swear, this is too much..." "You really think that we're together because" "I'm scared of being alone" "A little bit, honey" "I can't believe..." "No, then this is all a show, a farce," "I don't know why we're together then..." "We should get a divorce" "But honey, how can you say that?" "Cookie, I love you" "I thought that all of this was because..." "I don't know, you didn't like me anymore because I've been your only girlfriend" "But I do like you, that's why you've been my only girlfriend, because I love you, I've always loved you" "Impossible, honey." "Who did you go to your prom with?" "With my Cookie" "Right, and then when we went to college, who did you go to the first party with?" "With my super Cookie" "And then, who did you organize the winter community service project with?" "With you, Gabriela" "But I like being with you, I like being with you" " No, it's impossible" " How could it be impossible," "I like you What did we tell Father Domingo when we got married?" "That we were going to love and respect each other all our lives" "And that's what we're doing, that's what I want Honey," "I love you, I love you the way you are" "Honey, I know that you've liked other women of course, I mean, everyone likes other women" "But you're good..." "I know that you've never cheated on me" "I know, but in the bottom, you've wanted to because it's boring to be with the same woman forever" "But how did we get to this, honey, you're beautiful, I like you," "I like you, honey, I've always liked you" "Which part do you like best about me?" "Oh, you know, your eyes" "It used to be my tits..." "But I also like your tits, but, oh..." "Not anymore," "Cristian, I want this to work" "But I also want it to work, Gabriela" "we have to do something different..." "I agree, we have to do something different..." "Something like..." " Something like what?" " Something exciting" "Slutty Cookie..." "What are you thinking?" "I know that look" "Something like what, like..." "Like doing it in the car?" "No, no, more" "In the building pool, both of us naked, swimming with water all around us" "No, no Cookie, ever more exciting" "At your mother's house, that's transgressive, that's rebellious, and we can spill those perfume bottles of hers" "No, no Cookie, I have the perfect idea" "There, soft... oh there, hot, hot, hot..." "Soft, soft, there, squeeze it..." "Bite, bite, leave marks on her, man" "Leave marks, there" "Excuse me" " What happened?" " You taste, like..." "Like what?" "Tastes like what?" "No, I mean it's nice, but..." "Oh, damn, okay, sorry, sorry..." "The thing is I didn't have any perfume, so I grabbed a deodorant in the bathroom and I sprayed myself" "Easy, kitty, easy honey," "I'll taste it later and give you the final say, okay?" "You just go on" "What are you looking at me for?" "Come on, easy, we don't want foreplay" "Let's go right now, man, we don't stroke each other either," "I'm telling you" "It's "hi, how are you", then it's in and we're off" "Grab her, man, treat her bad, huh?" "Treat her like a piece of meat, man, look" "Go man, let's go, there, grab her strongly, there you go" "I like this, that's good, there, go man" "Excuse me, give me a second, give me a second" "Easy, easy, I just can't see well, you have to pull that there" "Grab it, hopefully always here, excuse me, there" "And if you want, you can go..." "What happened there?" "It's fine, you're so ungrateful" "How can you say that's bad?" "It's hot, man" "You should be thanking me" "Hickies are allowed, my man" "That's it" "Damn, I have to say everything" "I want to show you this" "What is this?" "This was made by Levisteplisky the tailor, the wanton suit" "Okay..." "Look at the silver, it's wonderful, look at all this" "Look at this, stallion's hide, there you have it" "And why do you have all this, grandpa?" "Memories, they're good for me" "I want you to wear this, because I want to make whoopy to you with the suit on" "And with what do you want us to do that, grandpa?" "With what?" "With what?" "Hello, hello, anybody there?" "I can't see anything, there's no one there, grandpa" "Sleepy time, grandpa, we're going to sleep no whoopy, sleepy, come here, come to bed" "Don't get all riled up, sleepy time, Don Armando" "Here, put it on, we're going to the most beautiful things in the world, here, precious..." "Hey, not like that..." "Facing each other, huh?" "Look.." "Like this" "Come here" "I need you to say something dirty to me" "Something dirty, like what?" "I don't know..." "Dirty and horny?" "Dirty and horny?" "Yes, but say it now, say it, say it" "We're going to have sexual relations" "I'm going to make love to you, and I'm going to rub my dick all over your body, okay?" "And I'm going to hit you with my dick, I'm going to slap my dick on your face, so you end up with dick-shaped bruises, Cristina." "I'm going to shove it in you so deep, so deep that I'm going to see the tip of my dick coming out of your nose, Cristina," "I'm going to give it to you so hard that you're pussy's going to turn inside out and you'll end up with two assholes" "You're sick, man" "You're a slut, a dirty slut who likes to be fucked" "Do you like dick?" "Want some dick?" "I'll give you my dick, ask me for it, Cristina and I'll give it to you, I'll give it to you again" "Say it, give me your dick, and I'll give it to you" "Shut up, man, how can you say that to me?" "You've liked fucking around since you were a kid Cristina" "This is so nice" "Suffer!" "Suffer, Armando, suffer" "There, there" "Hire me?" "You're too cheap for me" "Lend me some money," "I'm being serious" "I'm flat broke" "Do it well this time" "I'll do whatever you want, but pay me" "We have to be patient, because suddenly the shark's going to appear, and he's going to be angry, darn it" "Leave your fishy alone, grandpa, don't be stubborn" "Let's drink, cheers" "A riddle:" " a long and dry hag whose butter..." " A candle" " You knew it?" " Me and all Chile, grandpa" "Darn, even that's too..." "Look at this whole pharmacy you've got here!" "No, these are the pills that I take" "What are they?" "Sure" "Rue rub?" "Rue, I have arterial hypertension, low blood pressure," "I have stiff veins," "I have bunions, my legs hurt, my varicose veins hurt, my lungs hurt because..." "Cookie, what are you doing, are you dressing up?" "You know what, I like this" "Come out soon, then I'm going to count to three, ones..." "Okay, okay, okay ...two..." "Okay, okay, I'm here" "Surprise!" "Easy, I know what you're thinking..." "No, I don't know what you're thinking What are you thinking?" "Well, for starters..." "here did you get that, Gabriela?" "I won it at Cata's bachelorette party" "Look, it moves" "Well, then you..." " I put it on" " Yes, it's already on" "And then..." "I put it in you, Cookie" "Oh, damn" "GRADE 3" "Oh, nice, oh, oh." "Do whatever you want" "Are you telling me?" "Yes, whatever, what you want, what you want" "Um, excuse me, I think that means she wants it up the ass, dog" "What?" "What, did you forget I was here?" "No" "Okay, don't stop, don't stop, don't stop" "But I didn't mean I wanted it up the ass" "Yes, yes, it's fine, don't stop, you were so close," "I saw that you vere finishing, I'm almost there, dog" " Go right ahead" " Okay, take it off" "But it's fine" "Okay, but take your hand off, your hand it on..." "Okay, but I wanted to feel the rhythm, dog" "Take your hand off of my ass, please" " Easy, okay" " But man, move away" "Take it easy, easy." "Honey, are you going to let him or not?" "No, I didn't mean up the ass" "But it's fine, you've already done practically everything" "So I ask myself, if you say "do whatever you want"" "What do you mean by that?" "Yeah" "Oh, I'm not going to do that" "Honey, but you and I, us, they, them..." "I didn't mean to say ass" "But why not, honey?" "It's different between us..." "I mean, you're different... he's different because he's..." "I understand, honey" "Dog, what can I say?" "It's the same problem as always, you're thing is too big, dog, you're hurting her" "Oh, that" "Was that it, sweetie?" "Could we take a break, please?" "The embarrassment you've put me through!" "I loved you so much," "I bragged about you, and showed you to the whole world and told them about you." "But now you've failed me, ingrate wretch," "I don't want to see you anymore." "And you just lied there, you withdrew, you lost your confidence..." "That's an embarrassment!" "These don't work.." "these don't work!" "And now as a punishment," "I'm going to give you the Mapuche potion, it's right there, and it must be ready" "Let's see, here it is, that's it..." "Now we'll see." "We know that sometimes you like me to put my finger up your behind" "But Cookie..." "What about the other day when we came back from Cata's wedding?" "And you were a little drunk," "We got here, and you grabbed my finger, and..." "Yes, but this is a lot bigger than a finger, Cookie!" "We'll use some lubricant" "Stop it, Gabriela, please" "Really?" "You don't even want try it?" "I mean, it's that..." "Honey, you have a G spot there that we haven't explored, don't you want to look for it a little?" "I have a what spot?" "G" "Where to you get all this from, Gabriela?" "I read it on the Internet" "No, actually Bea told me" "Oh" "Fine, it's okay, look, I'll just take it off and..." "No, no, no." "Let's see..." "Why would you want to do this if you're not going to feel anything?" "It's that..." "It has a little vibrator, here, for me" "Okay, okay Cookie." "So," " it's going to be nice for you too?" " Absolutely" "Angry?" "Horny?" "Hard, but easy?" "Hey boss, are you going to pay extra?" "Yes..." "Here you go, for you to entertain yourself, boss" "Mr. Armando" "Grandpa, I have to go, I have things to do" "I don't think so!" "What did you put on?" "!" "This is the authentic, the one and only..." "The chief's sable, do you understand?" "And it has it's own backbone." "How wonderful, no?" "It's beautiful Look, it has a tummy, the devil" "I'll have to buy it belt so it looks thinner" "Well, the moment of truth has arrived" "Have you noticed that dicks are like cops?" "Why?" "When you need one, they're never there, and when you don't want to see one there they are, bothering you" "You know, I think it's better if we leave it here" "Yes, because this is getting kind of pathetic and it's not working, but..." "You know what, forget it." "Don't worry, it's my fault." "I mean, I came up with the whole idea, but it's not happening." " I'm leaving" " Stop it." "How can you leave now?" "Didn't you say that this was for getting over Ale?" "But it's not working, Matias" "Maybe the saying is true" "What saying?" "There's no such thing as a repented fag" "Maybe it's because of an image I have of you?" "What image?" "A little bit of a lesbian" "Lesbian?" "You think I'm a bit of a lesbian?" "Oh Cristina, all women are bit lesbian" "They go to the bathroom together, they sleep together, they hold hands, they kiss until they're grownups, and no one says anything" "And you've done all those things, girl" "Look, man..." "I like dicks more that bread and butter" "If you can't get it up, it doesn't mean that I'm into pussy" "Well, don't be that demanding either..." "It's my first time, Cristina, what do you want?" "No..." "You're not going anywhere, okay" "Sex is just sex" "Did you say that?" "Did or didn't you say that?" "Yes" "We're going to do this, then you'll go back to being my best friend." "Now you're just a pair of tits and I'm a piece of dick for you" "We're going to do this together" "We can have a great time" "Yes" "That took a while" "Okay, I'm going to go like this, okay?" "Okay, then I'm, no, no..." "On your side, honey, here, like this" " Let's see, mm, what?" " No, no, that would be..." "Let's kiss, a little No, no, let's see" "Let's go straight to the point" "Okay, okay, I'll get ready" "Okay" " There?" " Yes..." "Hold my hand, Cookie, hold my hand, there" "Careful, careful." "And if I say stop?" "You stop" "It's just going to be the tip" "That's what they all say" "Okay honey" "Okay, okay" "Happy birthday" "Why me?" "Yes, well, Inesita and I want to move somewhere else." "We're going to look for our own apartment" "Sure, soon, yes" "And I wanted to close this relationship in the best way possible, man" "You understand?" "Besides I knew that you were well equipped, and I needed someone who could really, you know, do it" "Yeah?" "Of course, man." "And you and I have been living together for a long time now" " True" " Yes or no?" " Yes" " Of course we have." "Have we had problems?" "Of course we have" "Do we hate each other sometimes?" "Of course we do." "But I love you, man." "Do you love me?" "Of course you do, see, there's love in between" "I watched that anaconda grow up, dog" "I watched it with my own eyes, huh?" "We know each other since we were kids, dog" "Yeah, beside, Javier has always thought that you were really attractive" "What?" "Attractive, like, just like that, attractive, cute" "Like you, dog, look, triceps, biceps, guiceps, pectorals, abdominals," "Just look at that huge thing" "Damn" "I mean, excuse me, but this..." "I think it's too much, it's a gift, man" "Look, check this out, dog" "Honey, this guy can hail a cab without hands" "You're telling me" "But clearly, it's a gift, right honey?" "Not everyone has this gift" "He has a gift, yes, I could feel his gift" "He's hot, tight, abs, tan, soft, nice, cute" "But I was thinking about you the whole time" " What?" "Really?" " Yes..." "What?" "Were you really thinking about him?" " I love you Javier" " I love you, honey" "But I want you" "But I want you even more, to the infinite" "And I want you to do everything to me" " Everything?" " Anything" " Anything" " Right now" "I can do anything you want," "I can hurt you" "Watch out, bad girl, I can hurt you" "Hurt me" "I'm going to rip your hair out and leave you bald, honey" "I'm going to make love to you, what you dreamed about when you were a little girl," "Yes, destroy me" "Excuse me, I'm leaving" "No, no, wait, where are you going?" "Easy" "But I thought that you didn't need me anymore..." "No, no, you don't have to think about anything" "Dog, take it easy" "Man, we're just petting each other a little" "It's literature, it's poetry, dog." "Let's see, let's make it simple:" "who takes the trash on Thursdays, you or me?" "You" "Daddy monkey." "Who cleans the toilet every month, you or me?" " You" " Say it louder" " You" " See, that sounds nice." "And now I'm asking you for a favor, and you don't want to do it" "Yeah, that's not nice" "Not nice, man, not nice." "This is a home, and you have to make your contribution" "Your imposing rock!" "See, we're on the same page, easy!" "Oh, this thing vibrates, so nice" "Oh, careful, careful." "Is it all in?" "No..." "just half." "Do you want some more?" "All the way, you say?" "No, just until your G spot" " To where?" " Your G spot." "Oh, oh, did it hurt?" " Sort of" " Do you want me to pull out?" "No, no, stay there..." "Oh, hey, I felt something..." "Careful, careful, slowly, there, I felt something" "I don't know if it's my G spot but there it is..." "Look at me" "Lift her leg up, dog, lift her leg up, bend it back, even more, even more... just bend it, there" "I'm there..." "I'm coming now, oh, oh, oh" "I'm in the right field, oh man, ah... this is what it feels like in paradise, give me more, give me more, give me more," "Ah, mama" "How did you do that, man?" "Wonderful, man..." "Oh nice, it was incredible, thank you honey," "I'm done now, so nice, I'm a new man." "I'm done guys, stop whenever you feel like it" "Guys, hey," "I'm here." "Are you done yet?" "Now nice..." "How nice that it's you" "Yes" "Your friend, who else?" "I've regained the soul I had when I was a girl" "And I'm only getting started" "Oh, it hurts..." "Ouch, it hurts!" "Help me out, man" "Whatever you want" "Hey, wait, now, make me a cushion," "Come on, hurry up, man, hurry up" "Is that good?" "Hurry up, don't hurt her" "If he does anything bad, tell me" "Okay, it's just that it was hurting" "Right, it's okay now" "Careful, dog..." "Slowly please..." "It's not that necessary..." "Guys, don't get into it again, what for?" "Yeah, nice" "Come on, do you want anything else?" "Juice..." "Oh, oh stop," "Stop, Cookie, please" "Careful, careful, careful" "Don't move, careful" "Stop, Gabriela, stop" "I love you, Cristina" "You're perfect, you're perfect..." "The best, the best" "Poor thing, this is hard" "No, wait, wait, oh.." "Here it comes, it's coming, it's coming, oh..." "You left this much juice, man, what's wrong to you?" "You think you're smarter than me, you fucking big dick ape?" "Who are you calling big dick ape?" "Come here, man." "Let go, let go" "No, no, what's wrong with you?" "Stop hitting him, noooo" "This is my fault... these things happen to me for being dirty..." "You're touching me, man" "Yes, hello, good night, I need a radio taxi" "Peñalolén do you have anything close by?" "15 minutes, fantastic, yes, that's good" "Hold on a second..." "Where are you going?" "Juan Moya" "You're living with your mother?" "Juan Moya and Irarrázaval, yes, thank you" "No, you're too much..." "What did you say?" "What, what?" "Nothing!" "We have 15 minutes left to celebrate" "One question," " do you have any money?" " Yes, I do" "I mean, not here, but I'll stop by an ATM" " Right" " What, right?" "Nothing, the job was so-so but I'll pay for it anyway" "I'm your boss now" "No, no, get out" " Hey, don't act so proud, please" " What, proud?" "Cheers" "You're so hot" "You looked really pretty" "You're hot too" "When I said... and then you said..." "Were you being serious?" "Oh, shut up, okay?" "No, no, you shut up, I need to know" "I need to clear up what happened here" "No, it's embarrassing, I don't want to" "No, no, Cristina, I want to talk," "I think it's important" "No, no Matías, it's embarrassing, besides, we can't talk about it if we're both dressed" "Then what's the problem?" "Again" "Oh, really?" "Let's go" "But if you're too embarrassed to talk, then, what can we do?" "do you really like my potato salad?" "I do, a lot" "But you have to make it more often" "Of course, sure" "I said softly" "I said red light, Cookie," "I asked please" "Oh Cookie, it felt so good, I swear, I couldn't stop" "Besides, it looked like you were also enjoying it" "Honey, that's not the point" "Oh no." "What's the point?" "The point is that when a woman says stop, you stop" "Cookie..." "Okay, but we were doing this to connect with each other, to do something different, and you were thinking about" "God knows what probably a tennis player or something" "Cookie, look at me" "Did you enjoy it?" "I'm not talking about that" "Honey, you came like an explosion" "How could you know, you were like in another world" "No, I could feel you" "Really?" "Really..." "when I was in you," "I could feel everything, even when you came" "Well, it wasn't that bad, I mean..." "And you were crazy Cookie, I'd never seen you like that before," "I loved it" "Mmm, how embarrassing..." "And you were making some pretty strange noises too" "See?" "See I'm not that boring" "Muffin, we had a great time, honey" "Yes, muffin, honey..." " Can we?" " Yes, yes, help me" "Armando?" "What are you doing for your saint's day?" "I don't have any plans" "Whoopy for saint's day then, when is it?" " January 23rd" " January 23rd" "Hey, we mustn't miss each other for the national holiday, you know, I could get a costume that you're going to love." "How's that?" "Whoopy for September then!" "September 18th" "Hey, and for Christmas, you'll be alone, right?" "Generally, a nephew comes to visit me on Christmas" "He leaves around 10 o'clock" "Then I'll be here at 11 sharp, Armando," "No, I like to go to Fausto after that" "The things you like to say..." "Did he do anything to you?" "Did he move something inside?" "Did he pierce your lung?" "Are you all right?" "Can I ask you something?" "Do you think you can be happy with me" " after having that huge...?" " Oh, honey, you're perfect for me" "Perfect" "Okay, perfect, I believe you" "Yes." "Fantasy accomplished, honey" " Very accomplished" " Congratulations" "I think that now, then, it's my turn" "What do you mean, it's your turn?" "A little friend, honey." "Brunette, to make a difference, all I ask is for her to be from Santiago, lot's of smog, bus pass, that kind of thing, you know?" "Okay, and I'll be outside, and direct you..." "No, no, all three of us, honey, in one go" "Oh, all three of us together!" "Then I'll bring a toy..." "No, no, no toys, dammit, you get used to this one, just this one, hear me?" "No, no, I'll give it to both of you" "What's the problem, don't you trust me?" "I can see you" "What?" "I didn't do anything" "I can see you, watch out"