"So we are in 2b and 2c today." "Aren't we?" "But also in 3a and 3b." "Are you recording a video?" "Hold please." "Just don't delete videos." "When we grow up, we'll watch them and recall." "Don't close the door." "Hurry up!" "Free!" "Free!" "The school bell." "Lots of people are about to turn up." "In March of 2013, a group "Children-404" was created in social networks." "It was a response to the parliamentary debates on the bill that forbids "propaganda of non-traditional sexual relations to minors"." "LGBT-adolescents joined it in order to remind society of their existence." "Children 404 45 teenagers from the group "Children-404" have shared their stories and made videos for this film." "Did you want to hit him once he called you a fag?" "Step aside please and let people eat." "Fuck off!" "I said." "Heads up!" "He gonna fuck you with a fork in your ass." "Here we go!" "Get lost!" "I said." "Wow, a queer!" "Basically, I'm propaganda myself" "I can be fined everyday for going to school." "I'm a gay, and I come to school." "So my page in "v-Kontakte"[a Russian social network] was hacked and the whole class came to know." "They kept saying filthy things to me, calling me bad names, offering to have sexual intercourse drawing on a slip of paper male genitals and slipping it to me, saying dirty things." "Two days later the whole school knew it." "It was "buzzing" around as my social teacher put it." "The whole school was buzzing, i.e. everybody from 5 up to 11 grade knew it." "I couldn't go through hallways." "Spits, insults, offensive calls." "As a rule, every my day opens with solemn exclamations "Fag!" "Faggot!"" "once I go to my classes in my institution." "But I already take them like "good morning"." "One week back I and my teacher touched on this topic." "He said that those should be banished and burned alive." "He said, somebody like you must be burned alive" "Had Hitler been in place of Putin in power," "I would have long been shot dead." "Generally, aggression is prevalent." "Girls drove me away from a locker room and said that I was not allowed to change with them." "I changed clothes in a restroom during the whole school year." "I'm often humiliated, coerced into meeting them." "Once I was beaten up to put it plainly." "So ya." "Parents asked what was wrong:" "Bruises and swellings remained." "I said, I had fallen and anything" "While we were speaking, I got two messages." "They come so oft lately that we don't manage to post them." "It came three emails a day before." "We posted them." "Then it grew more." "We posted 4 messages a day." "These days we receive 5 or 6 a day, once it was even 12." "A great deal." "People who have recently learned about this project don't really understand what is it, and why it's called Children-404." "Since many think 404 is an error." "Thus, you have called your project Children-error." "Why that, it is wrong, after all." "We are not an error." "In fact, all started with a publication in the Rosbalt agency titled "Children-404"." "It said at the beginning that it was about children who were invisible in our society." "Since government doesn't speak of them, mass media don't mention them, and many believe, they don't exist like a non-existing Internet page." "Children-404, 705 messages to date" "Photos of the earliest ones." "A great deal of them." "Up to the latest which haven't been published yet." "Some have been written literally today." "I have here an archive.." "We put these pictures when people haven't sent any photos." "We have to remind of a photo very often." "They are told to cover their faces and eyes, but they don't send photos anyway because of fear." "One guy has made several empty drawings which we use as stubs in place of a photo." "I don't fear to call a spade a spade." "Yes, I'm homosexual." "A notion of a normal man is just a nonsense." "I'm as normal as others." "So anyone is special but not abnormal." "Overall, I was aware of it at 14 years old." "Well, maybe even at 13." "The awareness came by itself, at one moment I understood that I liked my classmates." "Just simply as that." "It was hard though to admit it." "I had for a long time..." "I have researched, there is even such a diagnosis "egodystonic sexual orientation"" "which means that a person is aware of his sexual orientation but can not accept it." "trying to counter it." "It leads to the stress, emotional disorders, etc." "I've fallen in love, that's all." "It was a shock for me." "I was perplexed." "This was my first time." "And that with a girl." "Troubles came in threes at once." "I had fear." "My family is orthodox and my father is an orthodox priest." "Therefore, my inner struggle was very long and intense." "After having met this girl I began to understand something." "I was stricken with contradictions, felt hatred for myself." "I was trying to change myself, not to write, not to communicate, think about something else, but it doesn't work." "I was angry with me." "So much for it." "It was very hard." "I thought that I was like a monster and some chromosome went astray in reality." "I'm a mutant and not of this planet." "And I must be exterminated because I'm wrong." "Actually, It was this thought." "It was not like I hated other gays." "To the contrary, those who were open have always aroused my truly admiration." "I thought, "How are you dealing with it?" "How did you accept yourself?"" "It's me at age of 14." "My passport was issued in 2009." "It was about 2009 when I made my coming out." "This is my passport." "I looked that way at 14." "So I've changed that much." "I was overweight and didn't look too attractive." "My mum came to conclusion that it was why I decided to become gay." "Imagine a kid" " I'm talking about myself now." "A 14- or 15-year-old teenager going to the school and coming always late to the classes, lest he be bullied." "He is coming late, crossing himself in front of the school doorway, saying "Our Father in heaven" three times" "This is not a fun story, it's true." "This is no laughing matter either." "As I came to the school, I crossed myself three times at the entrance and said "Our Father in heaven"." "Only then I came in." "Is it the bell at the beginning or at the end of class?" "If my former principal sees me again, she has a heart attack." "I had it always." "Hello!" "You need the language in any case as far as I can see." "Obviously yes." "I go to an English school for the first year." "Then I enter Humber university to study journalism." "Also in Toronto." "There are many Russian speaking people in Toronto." " Yes, this is comfortable." "It's not difficult, let's put it this way." "I think, either they are Russian speaking or not, those are mentally closer to me whose flag is at the letter "R"." "Rainbow!" "Here is cabbage." "Freedom for faggots!" "LGBT activists!" "Fag!" "Gay pride in Moscow!" "Get along with you to your Holland!" " You live in memory?" "I'm not forgotten, to my luck." "Past two years, I was hearing this type of remarks." "This is how one is greeting him in his school: "Faggot"" "This roll is nothing." "I've never liked them." "Call the guards!" "(Pupils:" "They bugger one another.) Call police!" "Let's speak this way." "Let police explain you." "You were to ask for permission." "Call police!" "Let Yura call police." "A social teacher and psychologist are talking bullshit to me." "They put blame on me for being bullied by homophobes, because I can not accept homophobes." "I don't like homophobes, and they don't like me." "Moreover, she explained it as follows:" "You don't reveal it straightway, but you hate them inside." "Therefore they hate you." "You should start liking them in order they like you too." "Hot chicks are there!" "Holy fucking shit!" "By the way I made some dating attempts with girls." "And in fact sometimes I was in love with them," "But when it got to the definite point," "I don't like to go into more detail here, you know," "I understood that I was out of business." "It took me quite a while to accept myself." "About three and half years." "Essentially I was torturing myself, was often sleepless." "My diagnosis read: "Vegetative-vascular dystonia resulting from neurosis"" "I haven't liked boys since my childhood." "It happened that my female friends said: "Ooh, he is such a cutie!" or anything like that." "I nodded to them, but I didn't understand it though" "Well, if they find him cute it must be the case." "And then, at age of 13 - 14 as I grew more conscious" "I was getting more and more aware of being attracted more by girls." "The complete awareness came to me easily and instantly, one could say." "I was sitting and pondering over it till I realized that I had a different sexual orientation." "I've seen a multitude of reveries:" "You won't ever die and I'll stay beside All our deities are plainly naughty fairies!" "Along with us will only love abide" "It's a beautiful poem." "And I'm bewildered by it." "[It was beautiful before translation.]" "They are talking about something like guys." ""Look how good I am." "I've a boyfriend."" "That is, a usual women's gossip that often annoys me." "And certainly they ask those sitting next to them:" "Who are you in love with?" "Have you a boyfriend?" "My sweetheart at that moment was from Belgorod." "I replied plainly, "Yes, I have a sweetheart, who lives in Belgorod."" "They: "Wow!" "How old is he?" "How is he like?" "What is he doing?"" "OK, when I had to specify a gender" "I was talking about her as if she were male." "I show sometimes photos of familiar guys as if they were close friends of mine." "Well, they are asking for photos." "I mean I can not show them a girl's picture purporting she were a guy." "The main reason why we started this project was just a simple wish:" "The bill states that they are protecting minors." "Clearly, nobody requested for an opinion of a minor." "My wish was just to let those speak out who are intended to be protected by this bill." "And they speak with one voice:" "We needn't be protected." "We need nothing." "We need to be protected from you and from your idiotic laws." "We're feeling lonely, bad, and we aren't being helped by anyone." "So what?" "Anything happened?" "Absolutely nothing." "As one author of LJ whom I know only by his nickname "forest1333" wrote:" "Children of our country are used to being considered brainless vegetables:" "Children of the project "Children-404" have spoken out, but nobody wanted them to be heard." "Hold." "Why don't you have put your jacket on?" "It's cold there." "Why are you so inept?" "Why only 200?" "300" "Don't film it." "My sweetie." "Nope, you should write she is not a mother... (slurred speech)" "Done" "No, hang on." "Your shoelaces are loose." "She just wants to prove that she is a caring mother." "She even does a cooking on camera." "Ready, don't loose the keys." "You are the best." "Well done!" "The kitten is watching and thinking, "What the fuck?" "Where am I?"" "Well, I'm off." "Don't miss me, mom." "I've never made him to do something and supported his wish." "Also his wish to go to Moscow." "It was in fact his decision." "Everybody around told me I was doing wrong, you see?" "We take a decision sitting face-to-face and each argues from one's viewpoint." "His arguments have somehow prevailed before." "I might have said, "No, You are not going"." "How are you going to be alone in other city?" "But I'm used to reasoning about everything." "And his arguments have always outweighed mine." "So they are making a documentary about me." "Wouldn't you mind if I come along with a man who is filming?" "Hello!" "Hello!" "Hi, my darling!" "Hello!" "I did well in Russian until I came out in 9th grade, at the end of it." "And in 10th grade, I had no Russian lessons at all." "I skipped 30 days." "She taught me for a half-year and prepared me for finals." "As a result, I passed my exam with a good grade." "You have completely disappeared." "Not here, not there, not anywhere!" "I've got trouble, my phone has broken." "I should work hard, if you are going to study journalism." " I'm learning English." "Anyway" "English, Russian..." "I should learn one more language anyway." "I'm going to spend a year in an English language school." "And then, in following 4 years, I'm going to do my undergraduate studies in journalism." "Everything is tough." "On 7th of October I have again an English exam." "And the preparation - but it's all worth it." "It has gotten interesting." "Anyway, you are a communicative and friendly guy." "You'll make your friends and anything." "Just don't play shabby tricks on anyone, and mountain your reputation" "You should remember that you're from Russia." "Don't be a Homo Sovieticus being crazy about a chewing gum." "Be proud of yourself and everything will be fine." "You have proven that to them:" ""Adieu!" "I forgive you everything." "I'm flying away." "I'll be happy there and kindly reminiscence past time, or rather let it slip from memory." "It is said, "Pigs grunt about everything and nothing"." "Even as for my part:" "If a man fell in love with me" "I had a man who is dead now." "A tall, normal man.." "And some people judged even him:" ""What is special about her?" "Couldn't you find a better one?" and so on." "But why?" "But promise me that you will trim your fringe." "You have beautiful eyes." "One day, maybe." "No, not "one day"." "I don't say anything about your hair length but this fringe..." "It is a must-do." "Good luck, my dears." "Bye-bye." "See you!" "Such an interesting person!" "BTW we were talking about gays for the first time." "She knew that I was gay before." "But it came up first." "A non-traditional rainbow here." "There is no gay propaganda." "All is quiet and proper for kids." "My sweeties!" "Love you but fly away!" "I don't want to leave in any case." "First of all, I consider it a betrayal." "I don't regard people who leave for a better life as betrayers, because they have a right to ." "We have only one life, and everyone makes one's choice." "I don't want to leave." "This is a very drastic step." "Your newly gained freedom won't probably make up for the lost things when you go there." "It is likely to be the only thing that nobody of the inhabitants of Nizhnyj Tagil can be surprised at, because we have tanks everywhere." "Only a few people here travel, over half of my circle of acquaintances have never been abroad." "There are even those who have never been outside of their town/region." "They have always stayed here." "I don't know whether they are open or not." "But they must be open." "It looks like they are closed." "No, they aren't." "Out of three doors only one is working." "museum of sh.., of museum's attributes." "Totally untuned." "It hasn't been played for 25 years." "There were a scene and three chorus lines." "Spectators, high-ranked officials, were sitting up there." "I've never thought in my life that I'm going to sing the national anthem of Canada in Lenin's memorial, where I was six years ago." "Actually, I'm very delighted." "I'm disgusted to look at." "Well, he is OK, he is a good man." "But this picture is not good." "Look, it says "rug"." "It has been made to walk on it." "That is, one should install a restroom at this place and walk on it." "But they have misplaced it." "And it was hung on the stand." "An assemblyman of Saint Petersburg vs. a woman journalist from Ural." "An infamous lawmaker Vitaly Milonov has declared war on the founder of a closed community in social networks." "Elena Klimova has created a group in order to support minors having a non-traditional sexual orientation." "This initiative of the journalist from Nizhnij Tagil was even highlighted by Western media." "But while doing seemingly benevolent in her opinion deeds she probably went beyond the law." "Her activity is now being investigated by law enforcement officers." "The leader of a support group for LGBT teenagers be brought to court for "gay propaganda"" "Children-404." "You are priceless." "I'm by your side." "I love you." "I had worked as a correspondent for a newspaper, then as a chief editor half the year before." "They had no complaints about me at all." "I met there Zhenya, we were both working at the editorial and publishing department." "We made friends." "Something sparked between us." "Not that we played it up or anything, but everyone somehow realized that." "And then the head of our department told me, "Write a resignation letter saying that you resign at your will"" "I wrote the letter and left." "A few day later Zhenya was also told to resign." "She had been working there for 10 years at the same position." "She is a first-rate editor." "Marina has come." "Guess what I have here!" "Waffles." "Yes, sure." "Take off your jacket und hang it in the wardrobe please" "We've got delivered the newspaper "Mechanical engineer"." ""The heart of the modern metallurgy"" "Where is the wardrobe?" "The wardrobe is on the right." ""The truck driver I wish you good luck"" "A comma missing" "We have also found this typo." "Why did it take so long to find it?" "Who is a proofreader in your newspaper?" "Maslova, Anna (indistinct speech)" "Well, take your crappy paper back." "When a person is straight, how do we call her?" "Heterosexual." "Exact." "Why not "heterosexualist"?" "It's too long." "Too long?" "And a "homosexualist" [Remark: a gay person in Russian] is not too long?" "Is there another term?" "It should be named "heterosexual" and "homosexual", but not "homosexualist"." "Do we have any more "sexuals"?" "Nobody says "bisexualist" either." "It sounds really stupid." " "Bisexualist", cyclist, "taxist" [a taxi-driver in Russian]" " It sounds like a profession." "Oh yeah, a profession "homosexualist"." "Some other "ist" words?" ""Karatist" [Karate man in Russian] (a sportsman), Marxist." "OMG, I was so stupid." "I didn't even suspect that anyone would be talking about us." "Nor did I." "We were friends, so what?" "But it was talked about indeed." "There is no such a thing in Tagil." "So, how are we in Tagil?" "I see, it's not the best." "But you're going..." "Hold it!" "It said a person who had directly witnessed how we had been fired." "Because .." ""Because"?" "Don't you remember why and how we were fired?" "Do you?" "yes, I do." "Tell us then." "Why were we fired?" "Because you were sitting on the same chair." "And holding hands, I believe?" "Holding hands." "What else?" "Students were dropping in: "Growing up generation apparently with the unstable psyche", I mean "with the non-established psyche"." "Whose opinion are you expressing now?" "Yours?" "That one that was communicated to me." "And what is your attitude towards gay marriage and related things?" "You mean precisely gay marriage or just ...?" "Towards the gay marriage, adoption of children, gay parenting?" "Tolerant." "Maybe, because it doesn't really concern me." "I wonder how it could cause your concern indeed." "I don't know." "If it is about a relative, parents,.." "Well, one your relative is gay." "What then?" "It concerns you now." "What will change?" "We wouldn't most likely keep in touch with him." "Why that?" "That is, you would decide to break contact with him?" "Not I but the other relatives." "But I'm asking you." "Me?" "Perhaps.." "It's my mom." "Where's my suitcase?" "[Phone conversation] Have you already arrived?" "I'm leaving now." "I'm on my way!" "Yeah, "I'm leaving." "I'm visiting a pervert."" "If nobody cared it would be better better than now." "This attitude seems to be the most apposite." "Many people don't care, you know." "Parents..." "Well, I told my mom." "It was totally unexpected." "It was like she asked first." "She called me." "She just happened to have a row with her female friend." "The friend said her, "Whom have you raised?"" "Your daughter has lesbian videos on her page in vKontakte [a Russian social network] that endorse homosexual love and various articles against government." "So she called me and asked why people had been complaining about me." "I could certainly say: "It's not mine." "My page was hacked" and the other bullshit." "But because I wanted to come out anyway I told her the truth." "She didn't understood why I was telling it her" "It felt like she didn't want to know anything about it." "She didn't see the purpose." "It seemed to her as if I had done it on purpose or tried to hurt her." "As late as yesterday I had a row with her." "Some show run on TV that I didn't like." ""Mom, change the channel please." "It makes me sick."" "And than she began to curse: "You are abnormal, sick!"" ""What did I bear you for?", etc." "No, mum, I'm about to finish!" "She said that I'm actually not her son." "That she hated me." "That I was an error of nature." "That she should have... so that a miscarriage occurred." "That I should have died before I was born and so on." "She swore at me calling me "fag, queer" and so on." "I reckon if I told it to her in any way, she would kick me out of home." "Someone sent SMS to my dad's mobile saying that I was dating a girl." "My dad just said, "If you are such a one then confess it"" "At first I said him it's not true." "Afterwards it became clear anyway that it was the truth." "He said, "I'm proud that my daughter is different."" "Eek, a dog!" "My mom doesn't know." "She has a negative attitude towards it." "Neither I, nor my dad tell it to the mom." "At one point I accumulated enough inside me and thought:" "I should stop sitting in the closet and giving precious advice from there how to come out properly of the closet." "And I told everything to my mother." "How did it end?" "Like it always ends - it seems to be far away from the end." "She'll continue not accepting me for a long time." "I feel actually a great relief, because I had to tell many lies before." "If you start lying, you'll go on telling even more lies." "You are getting entangled in a web of lies, feeling ashamed and disgusted with yourself." "You are forgetting what you have lied and to whom whether you've told anything to someone or not, how you've introduced someone to anyone else, where...whatever." "It's really terrible!" "It's much easier to come out and to lose someone from your surroundings." "It's much easier to come out to your parents in order to be able to tell truth afterwards." "Although, when adolescents contact me and ask me the most frequently asked question, whether one should come out, I then, having read a pile of letters, say always the same:" "The most ideal solution is not to come out until you become independent to some extent." "There was a scandal." "We had a conversation in terms of "You're not my daughter"" "I took the scissors, scraped my hair back and cut it short and said "So you have a son." "Mum, congratulation, I like girls."" "After that: ripped into pieces jeans, reading of my correspondence, breaking into my mail boxes" "My mom believed that the problem was that I didn't behave and dress like girls." "This must be the reason for my "oddities"." "Well, parents seek the reason." "They seek the reason in some irrelevant things and don't try to realize what their child thinks." "Well, she asked me something like, "What the fuck?"" "So I burst into tears." "But I couldn't help myself." "The tide of emotions swept over me." "Why so?" "I had been hiding it all life long." "It came about out of the blue." "So , I was blabbing something quickly" "Blah Blah.. such love" "We consulted a psychologist several times." "I was whimpering and talking bullshit to him." "Then I reassured him, I was fine." "Everything is normal." "Many thanks!" "A social teacher put the following questions to me:" ""Were you sexually abused as a child?"" "She assumed that if I war raped by a man as a child and liked it, it was a reason to become gay." "Or, if I was raped by a woman and disliked it, and I was repulsed." "As she put it," ""You hate women." "Hence you are gay."" "Then she left me alone with a police inspector and asserted that just what I needed was to talk with him as man to man." "Just like that." "You don't have a father." "Then you just need to talk with any man." "No reply." "Hello!" "Good evening!" "Irina Sergeyevna?" "Yes." " Vitja, a friend of Gosha calling again" " Who is this?" "I can't hear you very well." " Victor, Gosha's friend." "Yes." "What do you want, Victor?" "We want Gosha to come to a window and look out of it." "We are gathered here just to encourage him." "Gosha is ill." "So he won't go anywhere." "To a window, just to a window." "He is lying in bed." "He has headache." "Can I talk to him?" "No." "Well, why is that?" " Because." "What do you mean by "because"?" "Why so?" "Because." "As I explained, your... friendship ended." "Why?" "Because." "Gosha is in a suicidal mood." "He has passed it on to us." "Here lies a problem." "We are trying to get him out of trouble." "Because he is in a suicidal mood." "He has regular fits of hysterics." "Our task is to help him as much as possible." "You know too little about your son." "He hasn't told you much." "Maybe you should just take the time to talk to him heart to heart." "I'll do all of it." "Mind your own business, right?" "He left a great deal unsaid." "We just need to come together and talk anyway." "No, I'm not going to meet you." "That's for sure." "Ready?" "So we are now in front of Gosha's house." "Now we going to chant together." "The first poster is called: "Love is stronger than hate"" "the next one: "Gosha, you are the best"" "Let's move to our safe place." "So that we can do a runner through the staircase if need be." "Let's us dial up his maman." "You were down there with posters." "Weren't you?" "If you play this nasty trick once more, it's not just that you going to be caught and dragged along by your balls to your parents," "But you're going to get screwed and your fuckin' balls cut off!" "Got it?" "Fuckin' wanker." "A woman who works for the church is talking this way!" " I'm done." "I'm done as well." "He is thought to become gay after having met me." "It's utter nonsense!" "Both he and I know it." "He has been living with it for two years now." "The whole family keep stalking him, yelling and cursing, "You are so-and-so"." "He gets beaten up on a regular basis." "Just like that." "Besides they were giving him some sedatives at first." "He was in a vegetable-like state." "His mother said that all his contacts will be broken." "They are probably going to pick up him after school." "For a while." "Because it's hardly possible in the long run." "However, we had an idea." "When it settles more or less " "After one week or so they'll have tired to pick up him after school - find him a fictitious girlfriend." "Moreover, a female friend of mine has already agreed to play the role." "It was her suggestion." "Well, to make up a whole long story how they have met." "He is supposed to date her often, but not to claim her to be his girlfriend." "Just a female friend at first." "So that it doesn't look suspect and sets the whole thing in motion." "So he goes out with her; and clearly she passes him immediately on me." "Then he hangs out with us or does his stuff." "My family is very religious." "And it's my adoptive family." "My foster parents are not young; my mother is 52 y.o. and father is 62 y.o." "They are also fervent supporters of Stalin." "His portrait hangs in the hall directly at the entrance to our apartment." "I tried to explain her." "But she said: "You are talking nonsense." "You are a son of Satan"." "And she began to drag me to various pastors." "I became secluded." "I was retreating more and more deep into myself." "Actually, it came to suicide." "I was taking pills with vodka." "But as the sister walked in on me and I had to hide them quickly." "I don't know anymore how many I had taken." "After less than an hour I got intoxicated." "I felt sick and was taken to a hospital." "I lost consciousness." "But I had no cardiac arrest and wasn't in coma either." "I fainted probably because I had puked excessively." "I eventually decided to leave." "When I was supposed to go to my classes, I just packed my stuff and left." "I asked my classmate if I could crash at his place for some time." "I happened to live for 1.5 months at his home." "It's an unfavorable situation because I'm constantly moving from one place to another, and it's difficult to stay long at same place." "Because my mom often figures out where I am." "Gera!" "Gera come!" "I have no choice." "I cannot stay in Ufa any longer." " Your parents are homophobic, right?" "Your grandma?" "Yeah, my father is an extreme one." "A ferocious homophobe." "When he found out" " I didn't told him first that I was gay but bi" " He freaked me out." "I fell out with him." "So much for that." "Not bad!" "You've finally got here!" "We lost Gera." "Other dogs bothered her." "Then I found her." "Clearly, I shouted, and she ran up to us." "Probably guessing what to do." "Liza [the kitten], won't you climb up?" "Climb up." "A good girl." "Natasha helped us." "She gave us shelter." "We are helping her with household chores." "We're solving now our problem too:" "How to find a job and housing." "My parents haven't helped me with money since I was 16." "I took up a job being a first-year student at university." " I skipped few classes but not lots." "I was diligent." "Rarely but to the point. [A Russian proverb]" "I pay for my clothes and other things." "It's a good thing to stop living off the parents." "Now I want to live quiet, peaceful life." "I'm tired of it." "Find a boyfriend, live along with him, love each other, be happy." "I want nothing more." "And to work, of course, to earn my own living." "To be independent of everyone." "It's a bad thing to depend of anyone." " How many of this kind are roaming all over the country?" "Lots." "We have some of them in Moscow." "But they fear to establish contact." "They don't know where they can go, and whom they can contact." "We covered them with bags and slept in turn, for 20 minutes each." "Then were running around to warm up." "I'm not complaining about Russia." "I'm just telling how things actually are." "I don't understand how they are going to survive at age of 15." "I'm 17 y.o. and he is 19 y.o. and we were squealing with cold." "And what is about those at 15?" "Live in basements?" "Live in basements and prostitute themselves." "Prostitution is maybe an option only for my native Moscow and St. Petersburg." "What's about Uchta then?" "Where is he supposed to go in Uchta?" "In the woods, to build a shelter there?" "Let the whole nation look at me." "I'm not going to hide my face." "Let all people know." "I'll better be proud of myself than be diminished all life long." "So much for that." "Some my classmates don't believe yet that I'm gay." "Some have even suspected that I'm bi." "I think, one should create a psychology help center for parents of such children in the first place." "Because their children need to be heard." "You can shout or yell your kid in a temper at first and kick him out of the house." "In reality, you're going lose your child." "He jumps off a roof." "You are requested to come to the morgue to identify his body." "You'll be kicking yourself for this and howling, "I don't care either he is pink, violet, or blue." "I need him alive."" "Have I already told one real story?" "It's about the mother and daughter who left." "The girl attempted to commit suicide and became crippled." "Her mother is now collecting donations." "She has now enough money to take her to Israel to do the therapy." "And she is kicking herself for this." "Now she wishes her girl had been a healthy, mobile and normal lesbian as before." "For it is less painful than when you see your handicapped child and know, you are to blame for it." "Your rudeness, lack of understanding and devotion is your fault." "Your son is happened to be gay or your daughter to be a lesbian." "So what?" "They are alive and safe, not disabled, studying." "Then praise the Lord!" "What is a name for this salad?" "This one?" "A salad." "Just eat." "You're not the only one who serves it." "Huh?" "You're not the only one who cooks it." "It has the special name, hasn't it?" "Not really." "Cabbage..." "You know, this one is on the menu of the restaurant managed by Segretti [?" "unclear]" "Didn't have you seen how I was eating?" "Do you know what is needed so that peace and quiet reigns in a family?" "love, respect, understanding and a laptop for each family member." "Do you have a good Internet connection?" "Yeah, normal." "Even aircrafts are loading." "But I have no one to send." "Natasha, won't you join our stream?" "What's her point to show up with us?" "Let me do it this way." " I have a big forehead as I said." " Cool on camera." "[vichatter.net Openly gay males:" "Malika's profile]" "That's all folks." "Take a piss, pray and sleep." "So we, vanilla sluts of Moscow, are heading off to bed." "I had a nightmare that I was flying on a plane and suddenly ended up in Moscow." "I couldn't understand what happened because I had flown to Canada but was transfered back to Moscow." "I cried." "Overall, I dreamt of Justin Bieber, a house by the sea, a family." "I think I'm going to have it all aside from Justin Bieber." "He is just not in Toronto.[not clear?" "]" "And a house not by the see, but by a lake - they have a lake in Toronto." "Anyway, I'm confident that I'll have a family, small kids, a house by a lake in seven years." "And my primary goal in life will have been achieved." "Then I'll able to move to my next goals, which are a carrier and the politics." "I think, personal goals like family, house, children are more important." "My mom will live in Canada as well." "Everything will be OK." "I'll forget Ulyanovsk like a bad dream." "I already did, but sometimes I return in there and don't even know why." "In that bloody school." "I didn't expect that they remember me so well there." "I have an uncomfortable feeling that there is no possible way to save or help everyone." "It's very distressing." "But I guess it's nothing new and global." "After all, children are also starving in Africa." "You cannot help everyone." "But it feels like I cling to these children in my heart." "They keep writing." "It's important for them." "But you cannot help everyone." "In order to help everybody, we ought to bring global changes in our society." "The latter is not the task for one or 5 persons." "I don't know what might happen next." "But as history proves, things usually change for the better." "So there is a hope." "Things were extremely bad 50 years ago in the USA." "And 60 years ago, seats for African-Americans and whites were separated on public transportation." "It sounds like a common phrase." "But 60 years means only two generations back." "Some people who remember might be still alive." "If they told a child about how it was then a child would say, "You gotta be kidding me!" "Was that really true?" "It's impossible."" "Our children or grandchildren would probably also say, "Granny, people say, gays were oppressed in your days." "Isn't it?" "You must have been born in the Stone age." - "Yeah, kid, at the time of Putin"" " Unbelievable." "It will happen exactly like that." "Things seem to be moving in only one direction." "So it is predestined." "Thus, it's a question of time." "Russia..." "Life standards... 66th place." "Russia ranks 66th place in the quality of life ranking." "Gays are prohibited." "Canada ranks 2th place in the quality of life ranking." "Gays have a right to marry." "Russia, maybe it's time to stop fighting gays and start to deal with real problems." "Mary, are you afraid to be here?" "Aren't you?" "No" "A faggot is standing in the center of Moscow." "He is propagandizing." "But he is not foisting his messages off." "Why that?" "He's bought a poster for 10 rubel, colored markers." "Fucking Mary" "Is it prohibited to be gay in Russia in general?" "Are gays allowed in Russia according to Russian laws?" "I'm just curious." " Gays are being prohibited." " Awesome, we are against them." "Would you be so kind as to roll up your poster?" " On what grounds?" "On the grounds of the 54th federal law." "And to proceed to the police station." "You are protecting your friend, aren't you?" "Who are you protecting?" "Are you like him?" "Couldn't you detain that citizen for insults and spitting?" "I provide a video supporting my claim." " This one?" "I'm going to file a complaint." "You are detained." "You are to proceed to the police station with these young men." "The young man is willing to file a complaint against you." "You could file a complaint against him as well if you have any allegations." " I'm not going." " What?" "Why are you not going?" "Along with this Mary?" "No!" "To make it clear:" "You are to proceed to the police station for the further clarification of the facts." "After all, there is something positive that the guy was calling me a fag and spitting at me." "Wishing to avoid red tape with that guy they've released me and him." "He approached the policewoman stating that I was making propaganda of homosexuality." "That is, the man was keen to apply this "bill"." "However, it was somewhat funny." "At the moment I thought that I was going to leave this country two weeks later." "So I was keeping calm." "I'm now having homophobic shoelaces." "I'm fed up with them." "Almost all same-sex families that I'm keeping an eye on, virtually for the most part, are discussing a possibility of going abroad immediately." "Most of them are choosing a country, collecting the papers." "Everybody has fear." "I don't want to feel fear with myself." "Living with constant fear is just impossible." "I don't want to feel fear either." "It's so loathsome always to be scared and fear anything." "You should just solve problems as they arise." "In this case for sure." "What else can be done?" "Maybe we should give up activism, don't help adolescents anymore, don't write any stuff." "Just live on and do nothing?" "It can surely be accomplished." "No, it can't be accomplished." "Because even in that case you won't feel secure." "Supporters of a covert way of life who say, "We ought keep silent and they won't touch you"" "don't really understand that we all are in the same boat." "Either you come into the town square with the rainbow banner or stay silent and don't disturb anyone, you can be denounced." "It can concern everyone: acts of homophobia, all sorts of assault." "It won't make it safe if you remain silent." "For it makes no sense, we'll be vocal. [literally translated as "we'll sit loud"]" "I hope, my words won't prove to be literally true." "[It's wordplay." "In Russian, "sit" means also "do time in jail".]" "Nope." "Year after year a day of tolerance is organized in the school." "They give a lesson of tolerance towards each other." "At the same time, sheer negligence of moral and common rules is plaguing the country." "It is extremely hypocritical, I guess." "Homophobia has now reached the legislative level." "One makes it clear that those are different." "They are not allowed to do what usual people are allowed to." "The support of lawmakers makes homophobes feel overconfident." "It undoubtedly says that same-sex relationship is not equal to male-female one." "It aroused such hatred in me toward the whole Duma [Russian Parliament], government that" "I had never thought that I was capable of it." "Because who are you to decide what is normal and what not?" "I don't believe there is such a notion as gay propaganda." "What can you say? "Hey, children, become gays!" "Everybody beats, humiliates, and hates us."" ""This is so cool!"" "Milinov is going to block access to this group, i.e." "I heard that Milonov wants it to be closed." "I wonder if Milonow had children with these problems, what would he say then?" "Such children like me don't exist for them." "They do care for the others, the "normal" ones." " Hi, grandpa!" " Hey man!" "[To the dog:] What do you want?" "You've been fed." "So you are fleeing from us." "From whom?" "From the village?" " From Russia?" " Fleeing from Russia." "Rather not fleeing but getting evacuated." "Those are guys, ya?" "Put one as a scarecrow in a kitchen garden, no bird will touch the crops!" "Read in a newspaper yesterday: "When same-sex marriage is permitted in Russia, so men can get married alright."" "Either in Russia, or outside of Russia - it's all the same everywhere." "I want to have a family, there in Canada." "You find there some darky." "So what?" "Love is the main thing." "Little darkies." "If I'm still here, will you bring me a little darky, won't you?" "Well, the grandpa will take him hunting." "Does it really matter?" "Love is important." "Either white or black - is not." "That's true." "To be happy - it's all that matters." " You take care." "I hope I can come around New Year." "Do come." " I'll do if I earn enough money." "All flights are around 9a.m. The flight at 9h25 is all the latest." "They are displayed here." "You see?" "What is "check-in"?" "The boarding is underway, isn't?" " "check-in" is a registration." "And "boarding" means boarding." "I'm sure everything will be fine." "I'm just not prepared for this sort of life that I'm supposed to be hated." "I'm really afraid of being hated." "I try not to show it, but..." "I could hardly live in a society where I would be openly hated be it on the grounds of my sexual orientation or not." "I hope that I'll manage to avoid it and be able to work and live someplace where I won't be affected by this." "One should just show teens of the same age as me that to love is good." "And that you oughtn't to judge people by whom they love, but by whether they feel love at all." "For a person who doesn't feel love.." "I don't even know... not to love is to suffer." "Basically, I don't want too much" "I want to have a respectable job, even though not that well-paid," "I want to become a doctor, a pediatrician, to be more specific, a pediatric surgeon." "I want just live the way other people do." "I want to go abroad on vacation." "I want to have a small two story house with a greenhouse and kitchen garden." "I don't know..." "In fact I want to grow up faster." "22,000 people joined the group "Children-404" in the first year." "1364 teenagers shared their stories." "The trial of Elena Klimova was held on February 27, 2014." ""Gay propaganda" hasn't been discovered in the content of the group "Children-404"." "The case was closed for lack of evidence." "Thanks to all "children-404" who participated in the film." "Direction and Photography by Askold Kurov, Pavel Loparev" "Montage by Lena Rem, Askold Kurov, Pavel Loparev" "Music and Sound Design by Sorin Apostol Rerecording:" "Gennady Tishaev" "Produced by Askold Kurov, Pavel Loparev" "Special thanks to Ryan Conrad, Thomas Waugh, Svetla Turnin, Ezra Winton and CINEMA POLITICA" "Special thanks to Elena Klimova, Anna Pozhogina, Marina Razbezhkina, Ivan Lebedev, Vlad Ketkovich" "Special thanks to Valentin Tkach, Yana Tsiferblat, Igor Yasin, Andrey Borodin, Mikhail Grishin" "Special thanks to:" "Maxim Bondarenko, Irina Appolonova, Nikolas Klinovski, Nataliya Bodrova, Yan Vesenberg" "This film is funded by voluntary donations." "Many thanks for your support." "English subtitles by Gram Zeppi"