"What's that, honey?" "I just woke up with it." "Really?" "I thought maybe I would put it to use." "Oh, shit." "God damn." "Grandpa?" " You okay?" " Just a second." "Mom!" "Dad!" "Toilet is not working again!" "Why can't she just use the bathroom downstairs?" "Because she's a girl, and her stuff's in there." "I know." "She has to get ready for school." "Please, just go look at it, please." "Okay." "Okay." "Okay." "Okay." " Okay." " Thank you." "Okay." "Okay." "Annie?" "Just fix it!" "Just give me a second, sweetie." "Hello?" "!" "Hey, estelle." "Um, can I talk to you and ray for a second?" "Yeah, let me just get decent." "Okay, come on in!" "Hey." "Happy..." "Happy birthday, ray." "Oh, Brian, that is so sweet of you to remember." "Oh, good heavens!" "I'm hanging out here!" "You didn't see my nipple, did you?" "No, no ni..." "No nipples." "He's gonna take a minute to find his trousers." "Can't a man get any privacy?" "Since when did you become so bashful?" " What?" "" "I said, since when did you become so bashful?" "Now, listen," "I don't want to embarrass anyone, but I think we all need to be a little more conscious of what we put in the toilet." "All I did was take a bath, but I suppose i can't do that anymore without being persecuted by my son-in-law." "Nobody is pointing any fingers, ray." "It's just that that toilet can be a little bit finicky." "Yes, it is." "Well, perhaps you would like to accompany me the next time I take a bath?" "That won't be necessary." "Are those my slippers?" "Add slippers to the shopping list." "I don't even want to know what that means." "Hey, honey?" "What do you think of these?" "Oh, are those the new fabrics?" "Yeah, they're for my meeting with stamford and Miller tomorrow." "They're actually considering putting them in their armonk and Darien stores." " Is that right?" " Yeah." " They look amazing." " Thank you." " Are you on-site today?" " Uh, no, tom's coming over in a few minutes, we're gonna go look at the..." "Hey, Annie!" "You're gonna be late for school, sweetie!" " I'm coming!" " All right." "Hey, Nick called yesterday and he want to stay" " in Boise for labor day." " You told him that was okay?" "I just spent $500 on yankee tickets." "You spend $500 on tickets but you refuse to put a decent septic system in your house?" "Dad." "I'm sure you can find somebody that will go with you." "Raymond, did you do something with my reading glasses?" "What the hell would I do with your reading glasses?" "That is not the point." "This is our tradition." "I mean..." "labor day, baseball, father, son," " since he was eight years old." " Yeah, but now he's 19, and he wants to stay at college with his friends." "Okay?" "I'm sorry." "Okay, everybody, missy's picking me up." "We're having lunch with the girls." "I will see you all at dinner tonight." "Please, please do not be late." " Annie, guess what?" " Okay." "Your grandmother says it's okay to bring that Colt kid to dinner tonight, so there you go." "Thank you, thank you, thank you." "We're gonna be late." "Let's go, let's go, let's go." " Thank you!" "I love you!" " Let's go, let's go." " Get off the phone." "Let's go." " Bye!" " Mom, I'm coming!" " Go." "Go." "Go." "Go." " Go." "Go." " All righty." "Since you were four years old," "I can't get you out of the house on time." " Annie, get in this car!" " I'm coming!" "It's going on a month now." "Every night this kid's in the bed with us." " I mean, every night." " Well, what did you expect?" "What do you mean, what do I expect?" "I expected the kid to be sleeping in his bed." "I mean, when..." "When am I gonna have sex?" "This kid's becoming a human chastity belt!" "There's other people in the house, okay?" "She's somehow comfortable with it..." "You're not gonna have any more sex." "It's over" "I almost, almost had sex this morning." "Hi, everything all right?" "They didn't come." "I need you to drive me to my appointment." " Who didn't come?" " The taxi." "They said they got the time wrong." "My appointment was for 11:00." " Um, can you reschedule?" " I can't reschedule." "I need to be there today." "Come on." "Sorry, it's, um..." "His birthday, and..." " He's intense." " Oh, you have no idea." "It's two years since the heart attack, and Kate insists that he stay here until he gets a full recovery, and there is no full recovery." "I don't know how you're doing it, man." "My in-laws stayed with us for a couple weeks in June, and I was ready to, like, fucking drive my truck off the gw with them in the back." " Stop it!" " In a sack tied up." " Um, how are you getting home?" " I'll take a cab." "Are you sure you don't want me to come back and get you..." "You're welcome." "Well, I'm sorry to have to give you this news on your birthday, Dr. engersol." "It's not your fault." "All right, so, as you can see, your severe aortic stenosis should make you a reasonable candidate for valve replacement." "However, your pre-op cath shows extensive blockages..." "We've been over this." "I just need my records." "Now, there are still surgical options." "Yes." "Aortic valve replacement." "Another bypass." "I don't have to tell you that a procedure on a heart" " in your condition..." " No, you don't." "I sat behind a desk like yours for over 40 years." "Let me ask you something." "Even if I didn't code on the table, what kind of time do you actually think this would buy me, six months at most?" "Let me make your job easier for you, okay?" "I'm not having the surgery." "I think that that's something you should discuss with your wife." "No, I'm not telling my wife." "I'm not telling anybody." "And neither are you." "They opened me up once, and they're not opening me up again." "Whatever's broken, doctor, we both know it's not getting fixed." "Ray..." "If you don't have this surgery..." "You're going to die." "And if I do have the surgery?" "Would you please see that all of that is in my file?" "Of course." "Thank you, doctor." "I'll take a copy of my file, sue." "And could you dial a number for me, please?" "Hello." "Can I speak to Peter, please?" "It's Raymond engersol." "Thank you." "Hey, Pete, it's ray." "How you doing today?" "Oh, well, that's good to hear." "Are we still set for Tuesday?" "Next Tuesday?" "Great, I'll be there." "No, I'm coming, Peter." "I've been speaking to Dr. feldstein about this." "I've made up my mind." "Okay." "I'll see you soon." "And, daddy, i love you so much that I even let you order a bacon cheeseburger at this fine establishment, so, I'm a hero." "But seriously, happy birthday, dad." "Here's to many, many, many, many more." "Cheers." " Honey?" "Oh, uh, cheers." "Happy birthday." "Happy birthday, ray." "So, Colt, tell me, how's football going, bud?" " Good, sir." " Good." "You got your first game coming up this week." "Yeah, yeah, we're looking really great." "Excellent." "You gonna get some playing time this year?" " Dad." " It's an alternating lineup." "Annie, have you talked to your brother lately?" "Nick's fine, he texted me that he's doing this photo shoot off-campus with a nude couple." "Really, is that for extra credit or..." " Fetish?" " Or for fun?" " Stop." " Both, knowing him." "At least he calls you back." "Honey, how was your appointment today?" " Raymond?" " Oh, it was fine." "Who are you seeing, dad?" "Deb mooney." "She's my ophthalmologist." "What did she have to say?" "That I still can't drive." "Well, you know, ray, that assisted-living community" "I was talking about, that's near the sight and rye, they have a shuttle that goes to town every day so you don't have to worry about driving at all." "You can stay with us as long as you want." "I'm sorry, madam..." "Please stop talking about assisted living." "Yeah, I get it." "May I suggest the coquilles St. Jacques?" "What is that?" "I'm not experienced with the French palette." "Of course, madam." "It is a shell stuffed with scallops in a creamy white sauce with herbs and spices." "Well, that sounds very good." "I think I'll have that." "Excellent choice, madam." "Daddy, I saved this article for you from the Sunday times." "It was about the decline..." "Ray?" "Ray?" "What?" "Oh, yes, dear." "Hey, is everything okay?" "I'd like to say a few words." "Shh, shh, Colt, grandpa's talking." " Oh, all right." " What is it, daddy?" " Oh, shit." " Did you forget your glasses?" " I left them at the house." " Oh, honey, i..." " No, no never mind, never mind." " I can read it..." " It's okay." " Okay." "Estelle, you know I love you." "I love you very much." "Oh..." "I love everybody at this table very much." "Well, not you." "I don't know you." "I've been on this earth for 80 years." "And if I do say so myself, I've been a very fortunate guy." "I..." "I made something of my life." "I made something." "I made something for myself." "We're here tonight to celebrate my life." "You just get one shot at this, you know." "I think you just gotta take the bad with the good." "And, uh..." "I've become a burden to this family." "Oh, daddy, no, you're not." "And I've become a burden to myself." "And one way or another, i think that's gotta end." "So, with that in mind and after giving this a lot of thought..." "I would like to make an announcement." "I want to die." " What?" " Jeez, dad, stop it!" "It's my birthday, honey." "I can say what I want." "Go on, honey." "Would you pass the bread please?" " I'm going back to Oregon." " No, you're not." "What's in Oregon?" "We raised Annie's mother and her uncle Danny there." " It's a cold place." " They have laws there for people like me who want to take their own life in their own way and on their own terms." "What do you mean, like suicide?" "No, honey, they don't see it that way." "The amuse-bouche this evening is beef carpaccio." "Outstanding." "Thank you very much." "Your favorite, daddy." "Sit down." "So, Raymond, do you plan on flying out there?" "No, I don't, estelle, I thought maybe you would drive me." "Raymond refuses to fly, and unfortunately," "I'm unable to drive at the moment." "We're an adventurous pair." "I have an appointment there next week with a specialist in this field." " Come on, he's not serious." " I'm serious." "I hired a driver." "I'm leaving tomorrow." "Happy birthday, ray." "You're not even sick!" "Katherine, I'm ready to go." "You know what, if you were ready to go," " you would have gone already." " We sold the house." "Everything else goes to estelle." "She can have another life after this." "Does she have a say in this?" "Apparently not." "I don't want to live here anymore." "And I certainly don't want to live in Brian's retirement home." "It's a living community." "It's a dying community." "And you want us out of here as much as I want to go." "What do you want me to do, honey?" "Wait until I'm in pain every single day?" "Dad, don't say that." "Or get a stroke and I'm crippled?" "Just stop it." "I don't want to be told how to live my life!" "Okay, then..." "Then tell me how this works." "So, you go over the Oregon border to some Kevorkian-style lair and, what, bam, that's it?" "I mean, what are we talking about here, dad?" "Do you even qualify for this?" "He doesn't!" "We don't live there anymore!" "I still own property there." "What, the cabin?" "No, that can't be enough." " It's enough." " We should have sold that place." " It's a pain in my ass." " It's income property!" "We only rented it twice the whole year!" "And you know you're not supposed to be eating" " ice cream this late." " I didn't get any at dinner!" "Okay, enough." "Enough." "Give me this." "My doctor's taking care of it." "Who is this doctor, dad?" "I need to talk to him right now." "I don't want to live here anymore." "Who is it?" "!" "Tell me!" "Katherine." "I don't want to live anymore." "I've made arrangements." "It's my life." "I just want to know what my options are." "I made an appointment for Tuesday." "I am going to Oregon." " You can't block this." " Daddy?" "It's not your decision to make." "Ray..." "Daddy, no, i..." "I don't..." "I don't..." "Mom?" "Help me here..." "Sounds like he's got it all worked out." "He's not going to be eligible." "He's not dying." "Maybe he just needs to know what his options are," " once and for all." " Okay, but, you know what?" "I'm not having some stranger drive him, okay?" "Well, who else do you have in mind?" "Don't even think about it." "Please just calm down." "Stop telling me to calm down, Brian, seriously." "Okay, could you explain to me one more time why it has to be you to drive him?" "I don't know, maybe if my mom could stay sober for more than five fucking minutes maybe she could do it." "But she can't, so it's me." "Maybe he doesn't want to be saved." "What are you talking about?" "I'm just trying to get some perspective." "Why would you say that?" "Look, of course he does." "Do you know how many people his age who are dead or dying would give anything to spend more time with their family?" " Come on." "What?" "What's so funny?" "I'm sorry, but that doesn't sound like ray." "Yes, hello?" "Yeah, this is her mother." "W-what?" "This is absolutely the last thing I need right now!" "I'm never speaking to Colt again, isn't that enough?" "Not." "Even." "Close." "Do you understand how serious this is?" "You sent those pictures!" "You're underage!" "This could have been so much worse than a suspension!" "They were private pictures!" "Jesus, nothing in high school is private." " Give me your phone, by the way." " No!" " Get off!" " Stop, stop, stop, stop." "You make me feel like I'm such a freak!" " Everyone does it!" " Everyone does not do it." "And even if that was true, it does not make it all right." "They weren't even that bad!" "You could hardly see anything!" "Do you care to weigh in on this, please?" " Hey." "" "Hey." "What did you tell them?" "I told them that you are not going anywhere." " Okay." " That Annie needs you here." " Yeah, what about dad?" " Well, first I told him that he's not going to get to Oregon by Tuesday." "New York to Portland in four days?" "Not gonna happen." "We can entertain his wolf cries when we don't have two children who are experimenting in nude portraiture." " Oh, Jesus." " Oh, baby." "Why did this all have to happen now?" "Why can't I just deal with one family catastrophe at a time?" "Well, she's a teenager." "Yeah, well, what's his excuse, huh?" "I also called Danny, and I left him a message." "Why?" "Just..." "I thought, you know, maybe he would be the voice of reason." "Why would you think that he..." "Danny can't take any more of dad's shit, Brian!" "What are you doing?" "You can't just pawn my father off on him." "They don't even talk to each other!" "I'm not pawning him off..." "He's my responsibility." "I'm trying to find a solution!" "No!" "No, you're not!" "You're trying to get my parents out of the house." "That is exactly what you're doing." "Well, you know what, it would be nice" " to have the marriage back!" " This is our marriage, Brian!" " This!" "All of this!" " No, no, no, no!" "This is not what I signed up for!" "Oh, my fucking god." "I'm sorry, I'm..." "Fuck, you're..." "Oh, my god." "Dad!" "Dad, please, what are you doing?" "I don't have time to wait." "I thought that you said you cancelled the driver." "I know what you're both doing." "It's not gonna work." " Brian?" " Hey, ray, ray, ray?" "I understand that you're upset, but you cannot do this right now." "Kate's full attention needs to be on Annie, period." "Clearly, but your daughter's risqué habits are not gonna stop me." "Listen, no, no, no, dad, I promised you that I would take you, just not today, all right?" " Can't you understand that?" " Before we leave," "I just wanted to confirm the mileage fees." "Get mom, please." "If you could fill out the method of payment form, considering your situation." "It's best we handle this on the front end." " Estelle?" "!" " Guy tells me to drive, I drive." "I know, but he happens to be insane." "Take my dad's stuff out of the car right now, or else I'm calling the police." " And tell them what?" " Estelle!" " What's going on here?" "" "Hold on!" "I'll be down in a second!" "I'm putting my face on!" "Then don't get involved." "Move out of the way." "Listen, come on, what are you doing?" " Dad, do not get in that car!" "" "Lady, take it easy." "I can do this all day." "Want me to keep doing this?" "I will do this all..." "Really funny." "I'm taking the keys!" "I'm taking the keys!" "Brian, do something!" "Would you put this in, please?" "What is this?" "Blue-footed booby." "This is so much more pleasant than travelling with a stranger." "Great-tailed grackle." "Don't you have a job?" "I brought the job with me in my briefcase right there." "Hope you guys don't mind if your chauffeur does a little side work." "No one forced you to take us, you know?" " I'm not saying that you did." " It sounds like you are." "Honey, can you turn that down a little bit, please?" " I like it!" " It's too loud!" "You used to like it, too." "I love it." "But it's too loud, okay?" "I need to use the bathroom." "Right now?" "I have to go, damn it." "We... just left." "Dickcissel." "Dunlin." "Eastern whip-poor-will." "All right, we're here." "Do you want to get out and stretch your legs?" " No, I'm good." " Are you sure?" " Sure as a pickle." " Okay." "Here we go." " Hey." "" " Hey." " It's gonna be fine." " Look, if you're doing this" " to prove some kind of point..." " I'm not." "We're gonna drive west for another day." "They're gonna run out of steam, and I'm gonna have them back by tomorrow night, okay?" "I doubt it's gonna be that easy." "You keep Annie away from what's-his-face, and I'll have your dad back by the end of the weekend, deal?" " You have a bathroom?" " It's in the garage." " But it's for customers only..." " Oh, no, he's with me." " He's just gonna keep walking?" " I'm buying something." " I'm gonna be a customer." " Okay." "Is that all?" "Because that's like $6.95 and we have a $10 minimum." "Ten bucks to use the bathroom?" "Mm-hmm." "It's a company policy." "That was my father-in-law." "Mm-hmm?" "I'm driving him to Oregon so that he can kill himself." "We good here?" "Hey, it's Nick." "Leave a message." "Or don't." " Hey, bud." " Hey, bud." "It's dad." "I'm just driving through Pennsylvania right now." "I was thinking about when we went to Columbus for your campus visit." "So, I was just thinking about you, bud." "All right." "Call me back when you can." "What time is it?" "Um, just after 10:00." "Do you need a break?" "Nope." "I'm fine." "You sure?" "Sure as a pickle." "'Cause I can take that wheel for a bit, if you want me to." "Okay, you cannot drive, estelle." "Oh, I can drive." "I can drive just fine." "State of New York disagrees." "No doctor's ever going to approve this." "What's that?" "I read all those pamphlets he's been collecting for years." "They all say you have to be dying." "Why are you here?" "It's where I'm supposed to be." "Can I help you?" "Yeah, I'd like two rooms, please." "Can't do it." "Only one room left." "Oh, god no, that's not gonna work." "It's a good room." "Two queen beds, laundry room adjacent." "A view of the fire pit, which is currently closed." "Yeah, okay, no, no, thank you." "Okay, then, see you in a couple of hours." "I'm sorry, what?" "Hot air balloon fest up in Toledo." "Everything's booked." "They all end up back here." "Hey, sweetie." "I don't want to talk about it." "Okay." "You want some coffee?" " Black." " All right." "All right, listen to me, guys can still care about you even when they do really stupid shit." "You should have seen the stuff your dad used to do before he got me." "Colt already had me." "Well, then you know what?" "He was a very..." "Stupid and lucky boy." " I don't wanna cheer anymore." " Why?" "Because I'd have to cheer for him." "Oh, babe, that's silly." "I don't know why you'd have to give up something you love because of all of this." "Listen, trust me, okay?" "A month from now, this is gonna be so much easier." "Dad hates me." "Oh, gosh, no." "Come here." "No, he doesn't." "No, he doesn't hate you." "His frustrations have a whole other focus right now." " I got a salmon salad." " Thank you." " Chicken salad." " Thank you." "And a Patty melt with extra onion rings and slaw." "Mm, this looks good." "This is dry." "Oh, honey, it'll be fine." "I said Mayo." "Okay." "I'll get you some Mayo." "Can I have some Mayo, please, on the side?" " Is this a good diner?" " Excellent diner." "Really?" "Oh, well, that was lucky." "We picked a good place." "What do you normally get here?" "Everything's good, but I like the meatloaf." "Oh, I love meatloaf." "We didn't get any today." "Hey, let me see if I can help out..." "No." "Let her talk." "Ten years ago, i would've said something." "I would have been over there by now." "Hey, if it bothers you, then go over there." " There's no point." " Go take her by the hand." "Maybe this is what you both need." "She's the one who still has needs." "Well, you know..." "There..." "There are different ways to..." "Handle that." "What?" "Have you ever, like, considered Viagra?" "Have you ever considered Viagra?" "!" "Don't tell me what my needs are." "You talk to me when your hard-ons" " turn to mashed potatoes!" " All right..." "Back when I was your age, a light gust of wind, i was hard as a rock!" "I could make that woman bloom without even dipping my stem in." "Honey, honey, keep it down." "Here's your Mayo." "Okay, here we go." "You remember the summer that we bought the cabin and you sent the kids to your father?" "You couldn't keep your hands off me, could you?" "No, Raymond, I couldn't, but I don't know if Brian" " is really interested..." " We did it every day." " Every single day." " Ray?" "We did it until the tanagers started chirping." "Take these pills, please." "And stop bragging." "And this woman is 12 years my junior." "And I could still get it up!" "All I'm saying ray, is that I think that..." "That there are other options." "Besides what?" "This trip." "Nobody wants this, ray." "She forgot my dressing, so I'll be back in a minute." "Do you have any idea how much this is upsetting your daughter?" "Yeah." "Then where the hell is she?" "Well, she does have obligations as a parent." "Bullshit!" "You all gave up on me a long time ago!" "I'm outta here." " What happened?" " He's outta here." "What do you mean he's outta here?" "Where's he going?" "Raymond?" "What are you doing?" "Raymond?" "!" "Ray." "Ray, where are you going?" "!" "Don't act like you can't hear me!" " Where are you going?" " Ray, come on back to the car!" "What, you think you're gonna hitchhike to Oregon?" "You hate hitchhikers!" "You always have!" "You don't even have your pills or anything else you need with you." "Come on, let's go back..." "You're acting like a spoiled brat child!" "You're a grown man for Pete's sake." "Hey, honey." "Just calling to check in." "Reminiscing a little bit about Nick's campus tour." "We're taking the same route." "We're in Illinois." "Now." "Looks the same." "Uh... everything's fine here." "I think we're gonna be home sooner than expected." "I just think they are..." "Running out of gas on this one." "Stop it!" "You're hurting me!" "Anyway..." "Love you." " Hey, mom?" " Hey, honey." " Can I talk to you for a sec?" " Sure." "Before you get mad, can you just hear him out?" "Hear who out, honey?" "Oh, god." "I thought you weren't talking to him anymore." "Well, Colt has something he wants to say to you." "I'm really sorry about what happened." "With the pictures..." "Yeah." "I know what you're referring to." "Look, I never showed them to anybody." "Skyler Dudley found them on my phone and sent them out." " Oh, Skyler Dudley did it, huh?" " Mom, he swears." "Don't worry, i already beat his ass." "Then it looks like you've taken care of everything." "So you can go home now." "Thank you for stopping by." " Mom!" " What, Annie?" "You said not to give up on something that I love!" "I was talking about cheering." "Get him out of my house!" "This shirt is itchy." "Do you want me to turn the air on?" "Do what you want." "I don't give a shit." "Hey, if you're tired, let's stop and get a motel." "No, no, no, no." "I've made a reservation..." "For two separate rooms at a nice bed and breakfast in Iowa city." "We're gonna get there, we're gonna have a nice long conversation about all of this." "I don't need to have another conversation." "We need to get to Oregon." "Okay, if you're going to insist on continuing to drive, not everyone in this car has a death wish." "Here." "What is this?" "It'll help keep you focused and alert." "It's fine." "I'm a nurse, don't forget." "In fact, I'm gonna have a little smidge of one myself, and I'll keep you company." "It'll be fine." "It's nothing." "I'm just gonna have a little, tiny... mmm." "Just a touch." "Just a tad." "I just took the whole thing." "That's fine." "You're driving." "You need to be... sharp." "([nathaniel rateliff thenightsweats'"s.O.B.")" "Shut the fucking music off!" "Here, just put these in." "Ooh..." "Let me know if you see any animals or something." "Okay." "I mean, not to look at, but to avoid." " I'm watching." " Okay." " Is there a storm coming?" " I don't know, but what..." " Because the clouds are rolling." " Yeah, they are." "Oh, man." "There is a bird aviary near here." "Oh, no way." "Way." "Where?" "Highway 80." " Along highway 80?" " The old Lincoln highway." "You think that's Abraham Lincoln?" "Could be." "Could be." "Maybe Mary Todd." "I like her, but I don't think they did that back then." "Oh, deer!" "Deer!" "Deer!" "Deer!" "Deer!" "Deer!" "Deer!" "Deer!" "Deer!" "Deer!" "Well, be careful." "Don't crash us." "Never mind, it's a tree." "Okay, I'm..." "I'm just gonna, um..." "Put my little head down, just for a minute." "Okie-dokie." "Not tired at all." " We're here!" " Where?" "Little surprise for you guys." "Look, honey, it's the bird sanctuary!" " Wow." " What is this?" "It says it opens at sunrise." "Well, it doesn't look open." "Honey, look." "Maybe it's not bird season." "Hold on." "Watch out." " What are you doing?" "Brian, don't hurt yourself." "What happened to the bed and breakfast?" "Couldn't sleep." "Drove all the way here." "Watch out." "Whoa, first try." "The sanctuary is open." "Will we get arrested?" "So, we could possibly see the rosy Finch, the western wood peewee, the Willow flycatcher." "Oh, you're gonna like this one, the horned lark." "Whoo!" "If I was a bird I would want to come here, estelle." "I know!" "This is..." "Just what we needed." " It's just what we needed." " You think he likes it?" "I do." "You know he's cranky." "But I think he does like it." "It's really beautiful!" "Isn't this great?" "!" "We don't have any binoculars." "We don't need binoculars." "We're just gonna use our eyes." "I can't see anything without binoculars." "Well, we're in here now." "Let's just enjoy ourselves." "It's beautiful." "Let's close our eyes, and just listen for the birds." "Ooh..." "Are you okay?" "Mm?" "Mm-hmm." "All right, so we missed the gazebo back here." "So everybody come this way." "We want to see the rosy finches." "Come on." "I'm gonna stand still for a second." "You find something, ray?" "I'm gonna find my dick and take a piss." "We don't have time for this." "Hey, honey." "Hi, how's it going?" "Where are you?" "We are at the wallick aviary sanctuary." "What?" "Where's that?" "It is in..." "Cheyenne, Wyoming." "In Wyoming?" "Are you serious?" "Yeah, I guess you can cover a lot of ground if you drive through the night." " How did that even happen?" " Well, it was for the birds." "For the birds?" "What are you talking about?" "It's a bird sanctuary..." "Yep." "Yep." "Sandpiper." "That's a stilt, maybe upland." "Did you fill Annie's focalin when you picked up my dad's scrip the other day?" "I filled whatever prescription you gave me, why?" "Well, she's out again." "So, either we forgot to pick up the scrip or she's taking more than she should." "What do the pills look like?" "I don't know, honey." "They're a pill." "It's a blue pill." "Oh shit!" "I'll call you back!" "What was that?" "!" "Oh, shit." " Ray, are you okay?" " No, don't touch me." "No, no." "I just want to help you up, buddy..." "Let go of me!" "What's going on?" "Nothing!" "Nothing, estelle!" "It's fine!" "We're okay!" "Okay, well hurry up!" "I'll meet you at the gazebo!" "I'm sorry, I didn't..." "Here." "You can..." "Cover up the..." " It's because I fell." " I know." "That function still works." "Well, see?" "There." "There's something to be positive about." "I'll be long gone before i can't push out a piss." "We don't have to talk about that." "No, I'm serious." "I made myself a promise a long time ago." "After what happened to my friend Abe." "Just give me a minute." "I-i don't know who Abe is." "Oh, he's a golfing buddy." "You met him once at our anniversary party at boca." "We were a mean trio." "It was Abe Norfolk, Mitch ebbs, and me." "Have you told them what you're up to?" "No." "Those guys are long gone." "Abe started to lose his marbles pretty early." "He'd run around the golf course picking up everybody else's stray balls." "And then one day he just walked off the course, and never came back." "We thought maybe he went home, but we found him later." "He was sleeping under a bench in the ladies locker room." "He'd pissed himself." "I didn't see Abe for a long time after that." "I thought maybe he was embarrassed, you know?" "And then I heard he had a stroke." "His wife found him in the bathtub." "I went to see him." "You know, it was like somebody..." "Sorry." "Somebody had grabbed him..." "By the collar and they sh..." "Shook him up." "And his face just froze like that." "After that, Mitch and I had a joke, which one of us was gonna be the last man standing, and Mitch got lucky, died in his sleep." "So I promised myself i was never gonna go like Abe." "And I'm not." "I'm not feeling very comfortable." "I think you better pull over." "Here, here." "Right over here." "What are we doing?" "We're just gonna change out some muddy clothes and stuff." "Why didn't we do that back there?" "Because we had to flee the scene." "I'll get your luggage." "You look like shit." "Thank you, ray." " Where do you want it?" "" "Right there." " Okay." " Now go away." "Go away." "Okay." "God..." "I can't do this anymore." "I, um, uh..." "Ray, this is as far as I can go." "What do you mean?" "I'm just... uh, you know, i think I need Kate on this." "And it's... um... um..." "You know, i thought I could do it." "We'd get out on the road, we have a nice long drive and everything and it helps to clear the mind, but then, um, you know, my head is really hurting right now, and I have responsibilities at home, and I have work." "And that..." "That was my favorite shirt." "And I really think my heart might stop beating at any moment." "And I don't think that I'm safe to drive." "And, um..." "Do you really want to get all the way to Oregon only to have them refuse you?" "If you would just take me as far as salt lake city," "I would be very grateful." " Oh." "" "Fuck." "We're close to salt lake city, aren't we?" " We're seeing Danny?" " We told him we might stop by." " How did that go?" " It went." "We called him, but we didn't know if we would have time." "Does he understand why you're driving across country?" " Yes." " And he's okay with that?" " How the fuck should I know?" " It was a short conversation." "How far is it to salt lake city?" "Oh, great!" "I should call him." "Can I use your phone, please?" "Oh, Danny, you look great." "Thank you, mom." "I like where you put the blanket." "It's gotten a lot of use." "Yeah, it's a good blanket." "Oh, there's the one I made Paul." "Are we gonna see him later?" " I don't think so." " Oh." "Should I be worried about him?" "Oh, no." "No, I think he's fine." "Are you gonna get that?" "Well, your father would like to have some time alone with you." "So I am going to take a shower, if that's okay with you, and just lie down for a little bit." "Do you have anything to drink?" "Like drink, drink?" "Your mother's found a new hobby." "I'm sure there's something in the fridge." "Okay." "I'll just peruse the kitchen, thank you." "I know these are not the most ideal circumstances." "But, um..." "You know..." "I don't have long." "Well, that's not true, is it?" "What?" "That's not true." "Kate told me that you're fine." "No." "It's my decision." "No, actually, it's the physician's decision." "And you're not terminal." "I know the protocol." "I made my oral request." "And somewhere in here, i got my written request, too." "I want you to take a look at it." "Yeah, here it is." "I followed all the rules." "Well, good luck getting a signature on this by anyone who wants to keep their license." "Well, you know, you're not a doctor." "Wow." "That took all of what, five minutes?" "That's gotta be a record." " Danny, please..." " You never..." " What, of course..." " Danny, please, let me talk." "Because I didn't finish med school, my opinion doesn't mean anything?" "You're not letting me talk." "I don't want to go through all that again." "It's not why I came." "Why did you come?" "Because I wanted to see you again, son, before..." "Before I'm gone." "I wanted to mend certain tears in our relationship." "You know?" "I wanted to say that I forgive you." " You forgive me?" "Yes, I forgive you." "Is that Paul calling?" "You know what I'm talking about." " No, I don't." " Oh, you don't, huh?" "How about all the unreturned phone calls?" "How about all the letters i wrote to you that you never even acknowledged?" "You closed that door long before i stopped speaking to you." "You scrutinized every decision I made." "You tore them down." "No." "That is not true!" "As your father, i wanted to give you options." "I wanted to give you opportunities!" "For what?" "!" "A life like yours?" "You know, enjoy your visit to Oregon." "And do me a favor." "Don't stop by on your way back." "Danny, wait." "What?" "Shh, shh." " What?" " Shh!" "Come here." "Come here." "What is it?" " This is your angiogram?" " Yeah." "Well, I'm not a cardiologist." "It's too blocked to operate again." " You denied surgery?" " Yeah." "Either way, my time's up." "It's all in the file." "Look, don't tell your mother, and don't tell Katherine because they're gonna make me have surgery." "And, Danny..." "I don't want to do it." "Hey!" "What is he doing here?" "What is this?" "What is this?" " Get up, get up, get up!" " Mom, get out!" " God, I'm sorry." " Put your dress on right now." "He is not allowed in this house." "You are grounded!" " What are you doing?" " We weren't even doing anything." "Oh, really?" "It looked like a lot of things." "Why are you even home right now?" "What do you mean, why am I home?" "I live here, Annie." " This is so unfair." " What's unfair?" "You put your guilt on me all the time!" "What am I guilty for?" "I don't know." "Making dad take grandpa." "I didn't make your dad do anything!" "You're the reason that I'm not with my father right now!" "Just go be with grandpa, mom." "It's obviously what you want to do!" "Oh, god." "The white-winged cress." "I can take over whenever you want." "You've been driving for what, three days?" "You could use a break." "The purple Martin." "I know this must be confusing." "Well, yes, I can't understand why you're on board with this." "I think it's important that I be here." "How's Paul?" "American coute." " He and I split." " Oh, man." "I got tired of his mormon by day," ""more men" by night routine." "Well, that'll do it." "I rehearsed that." "Mm-hmm." "I'm really glad you're here." "I don't think I could've talked him out of this alone." "Eastern owl screech." "We're not talking him out of anything." "Honey, relax." "Danny's here." "Everything's fine." "Oh, well, all right." "We're headed to the cabin later." "It's been three days already." "I want you to come back." "No, sweetie." "No, I told you." "This is something I have to do." "I understand, i understand." "But look." "Here, talk to your husband." " Hey, honey." " Now he tells me that you're going to the cabin." "I thought that Danny was the last stop." "I'm telling you, this beast has a mind of its own." "And whose fault is that, Brian?" "Whose fault is it?" "I don't know." "We got a lot of options here." "It could be your suicidal father or your patricidal brother or your blotto mother." "Anyone but you, right?" "Anyone but you." "Hey!" "I'm doing this for you!" "So I would appreciate just a little bit of empathy." "I swear to god, Brian, turn them around right now, or I am flying out there, and I am taking over, okay?" " Unbelievable." "I'm done." " I have to go." "Because I don't drink that much..." "Come on, pick up, boy, pick up." "Hey, it's Nick." "Leave a message." "So, guys, what's this i hear about going to the cabin tonight?" "Mom and dad thought it would be better" " than paying for a hotel." " Really?" "Yep." "What's the difference?" "Don't you..." "Don't you think it sends the wrong message here?" "There's no message, Brian." "We're taking dad to Oregon." "That's the whole point." "No, no, no, the point is to not get to Oregon." "We weren't even supposed to get past Utah." "Look, I am happy to captain this trip from here on out." "They are my parents, after all." "We'll just rent a car." "And you can head back and see Kate and Annie." "There we go." "Onions, onions, and Sauerkraut." "Well, we can't do that, sorry, 'cause we're gonna go see Nick tonight." "Oh, we're gonna go see Nick?" "Yeah." "He changed his plans around for us." "So we're gonna head over to Boise and you're gonna stare your grandson in the face and tell him what you're up to." " No, I'm not." " Yes, you are." " No, I'm not." " Why, why?" "Because I have to be in Oregon tomorrow morning." "No, you have to be in Oregon tomorrow afternoon for this mystery appointment." "I have to be in Oregon tomorrow morning!" "Fine, you will be there tomorrow morning or whenever you need to be there, but tonight, we will be in Boise, and we will be talking to Nick!" "What the hell, dad?" "And also, it's on the way!" "Why are you spitting it out?" "It's great!" "Are you sure you don't want a dog?" "!" "Oh, yeah, I want a hot dog now, estelle, after seeing that!" "Mother fucker!" "Oh!" "Hey, Danny?" "Danny?" "Sorry, bub, can I borrow your phone?" "My battery is dead." "I need to let Nick know that we're getting close." " Hello?" " Aha!" "There you are, boy." "Dad, are you seriously calling me from someone else's phone right now?" "Well, I am great, thanks, just wanted to let you know" " that we are getting close." " Where?" "Here?" "There is no fucking way grandma and grandpa are coming to visit here." "They're excited to see you, too." "I don't care." "Turn the car around." " Hey, Nick!" " That's your uncle Danny." " He's with us, too." " Fuck me, he's with you, too?" "So, I'm gonna call you when we get a little closer to get exact directions, but I know it's sperry house." "Absolutely not!" "All right." "That's quite a charmer you raised there." "Hey, it's Nick." "Leave a message." "Well, all right." "He's not picking up." "Probably deep in his studies, so if you guys just want to wait here, I'll be right back." "Maybe he doesn't want to see us." "He doesn't have a choice." "Looks like a nice party." "Hey, Danny, maybe it's better if you wait here with them." "You're not leaving me here to babysit." "I'll tell you what, why don't you ask around here, see if you can find somebody." "I'm gonna go inside." "Nick gleason!" "It's your dad and you gay formerly mormon uncle!" "You know what?" "I think I'm gonna go stretch my legs." "I'll be back." "You asshole!" "Is there a tip jar or something to pay for the beer?" "No?" "Okay, thank you." "Hi." "How are you?" "Uh, Nick?" " You lost, guy?" "No, I'm just looking for my son." "Uh, Nick gleason." " Is this Nick's room?" " Don't know him." "But I'm sure he's somewhere studying hard, like we all are." "Brian?" "Brian?" "Is that like a bird eagle feather and a..." "Yeah, yeah, it's because I'm flying." "This is like a broom or something." "It looks like a brush." "That looks like a shark's tooth." "This is a bullet, 'cause I'm a shooter." "Estelle, come on." "Estelle, come on." "Raymond, I'm just talking with the kids," " having a little drink." " You had enough." "Well, look who got his big boy pants on for once." " Yo, just take it easy." " Back off, kid." "No." "You know what..." "Raymond!" "You don't get to decide when you want to care." "Get the fuck out of here, old man." " Brian?" "Brian!" " Danny?" "You lost?" "I..." "I don't think that he lives here anymore." "He doesn't." "But I found out where he works." "Fuck me." "All right, uh..." "Let me get this straight." "You go there, and you see this doctor." "And if he thinks it's legit, you know, he kills you?" "Pretty much." "Wow, uh..." "That's, uh..." "That's awesome." "Wait, Nick, no." "What?" "I think people should have a right to make their own choices." "Are they serving these tables?" "I doubt it." "What will you have?" "I want a shot of vodka and a wine please." " Nice." " Okay, thank you." "Listen to her, trying to juice herself up" " for whoever wants it." "She can't wait till I drop so she can get her stocking stuffed." "I am right here beside you every single night in bed." "How long has it been since you've touched me?" "We are under somebody else's roof." "Stocking stuffed?" "How about just holding my hand, you baronial son of a bitch?" "Why didn't you tell me that you got a job here?" "Because I didn't want to." "Nick, your grandfather is a very jealous man in his golden years." "I'm really honestly just trying to understand, because, you know, during the summer, it's hard enough" " to get you to mow the lawn." " Dad, are you serious?" "Well, I don't understand." "Do you need money?" " All right." " Take it, take it." "I have to get back to work." "But thank you." "And grandpa i want you to know," "I think what you're doing is very brave." "Thank you, Nick." "What are you?" "68 years old?" "Acting like a fool." "Show me some respect." " Right in front of my grandson?" " Raymond, ray... come on." "Hey, buddy, did you change dorms and not tell your mom and me?" "I'm taking the semester off to intern at a photography gallery." "I would have told you, but I knew you wouldn't approve, so I didn't." "Well, of course I'm not going to approve of my 19-year-old son dropping out of college so that he can pursue a hobby." "Dad, it's just a semester." "I'm wasting my time and your money studying gen eds." "But you cannot just quit college, boy!" "Brian, will you leave the kid alone, please?" "Raymond?" "Stay out of this, please." " You're not paying his tuition." " Neither are you." "I finished last semester." "I got my own shitty place that I am paying for" " with this shitty job." " Hey, I like this place!" "None of that even matters because no matter what I do," "I'll never fucking make you happy." "Okay." "All right." "Get up." "Let's go, we're leaving." " Get up." " Now?" "!" " Yup, right now." "" "Why?" "Why?" "Because apparently," "I am the only person here who seems to have a fucking issue with your husband's suicide mission." "Okay, so if everybody here wants to do this, let's go." "Let's go, let's get it done." "Let's go to Oregon." "And I'm gonna call your daughter and I'm gonna tell her to get on the plane so that she and your granddaughter, whose pills you seem to really enjoy, can both be there to watch." "Didn't think I knew that, did you, huh?" "And Nick, why don't you pack yourself a bag, bud?" "We're gonna go watch grandpa do himself in." " No fucking way." " Yes, fucking way." " Don't make me ask you again." " I can't." "I have work." " Get it covered!" " Get it covered?" " Yes, get it covered!" " Whoa, whoa." "Brian, Brian." "Let me talk to him." " Let me talk to him." " Okay." "All right." "What the fuck?" "Shit." "Hey, Annie?" "Can you grab my makeup bag from my room, please?" " Yeah." " Okay, thank you." "All right, we're gonna be late." "Let's go." "Okay, baby girl." "You're not packed." "What's wrong?" "Brian, please put that cigarette out!" "Honey, you really don't have to go if you don't want to." "Are we really gonna go watch grandpa kill himself?" "What?" "No." "Oh, god, honey, no." "No, no, no, no, no." "But isn't that why he's there?" "No, no..." "Uh, I mean..." "Yes, it..." "But he's not going to." "He's not going to." "Well, how do you know?" "Because I'm not gonna let him." "I just don't want to..." "Go and see somebody die." "Especially not somebody I know." "You know what?" "I don't know what's gonna happen." "I'm just..." "I'm scared." "Why are you scared?" "Because I'm scared that maybe he will." "Don't cry, mom." "I need you to come with me, okay?" "Your mom will be happy you're here." "What?" "Oh, uh, I said, your mom, she gets in at 10:00." "She'll be happy that you're here." "And I'm..." "I'm..." "And I'm glad you came..." " I'm happy you're here." " I'm not here for you." "Okay, bud." "All right, have a good night." "Oh, shit." "Hey, Danny, you..." "Hey, bud, have you seen grandpa or Danny?" "They left." "They left?" "Okay." "Well, are they going to..." "Are they gonna be back in time for his appointment?" "No." "They're gone." "I already said goodbye to grandpa." "Wait a second, what are you talking about?" " Where did they go?" " Just ask Danny." "Where did they go?" "He couldn't tell you." "Or mom." "You'd just turn the car around and make him get surgery." "Anything but what he wants, right, dad?" "Hey." "I need you to tell me everything you know." "They're calling." "Leave it." "There are better ways to do this." "I appreciate your coming along, Danny." "Well, I wanted you to see what support felt like." "I could care less who you slept with." "I just knew your life was gonna be harder." "That's not how a father protects his son." "Yeah, well..." "You're not a father." "Uh, estelle, you need to get your clothes on." "I'm getting some coffee." "No, no, no." "Ray and Danny are gone!" "I know, it's fine." "If he wants to be denied by the same white coats that replaced him," "I don't need to be there to watch it." "Kate's flight is coming in early." "We really have to go right now, and I need you to give me all the information you have about Ray's doctor here." "What's going on here?" "What are you doing?" "You brought him all the way out here." "And now you want to stop him?" "And you know what else?" "Don't you ever try to embarrass me in front of my son and grandson again." "If you want to ask me something, you ask me, damn it!" "Everyone expects me to fight this and fix it and... and try to coddle him into living." "You have no idea what it's like to live with a man who'd rather die than be with you!" "There's, um..." "Something that ray didn't tell you." "This is it?" "This doesn't look like a doctor's office." "It's not." "Harold." "Raymond." "Oh, you made it." "It's good to see you, Harold." "You remember my son Daniel?" " Yes, of course." " Hi, Dr. feldstein." "Are you still with that medical nonprofit in Idaho?" "Utah, yeah." "Going on nine years now." "I want to say I'm glad that you and Peter connected about this." "I... you know, I think it's very important for you." " So do I." " Yeah." "I filled out all the appropriate paperwork in my case." "And I'd be really grateful if you went over it with Danny." "I will go over it, and I will try to find" " the right doctor for you." " Thank you." "The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only." "No parking." " Where's my dad?" " He's not here right now." "I know, but where is he?" "I guess you want to see Peter." "Yes, I do." "He's gonna be very happy to see you." "Stay here and hold this." "Who... who is Peter?" "Just an old friend." "Dr. engersol?" "Hi, it's maryanne." "Oh, I'm so sorry." "I didn't recognize you." "No, that's fine." "It's been a long time." "I've changed." "He has been waiting for you." "He's right in here." "He's right here." "Peter..." "Look who's made it." "Is that ray engersol?" "Hello, Peter." "Dad?" "I'll be right back, okay?" "If you need anything, you just ring." " Ray?" " Yeah?" " Could you give me a hand here?" " Sure." "Thank you." "I will send no bill." "Thanks for letting me come see you today." "I'm sure you had better things to do this morning than to watch an old friend join the choir." "You should see my calendar." "Yeah, open up the pills and put the powder inside there." "Yeah, open them up." "Yeah, just like that, break it." "How many of these does he need in here?" "We tell people most of the bottle, just to be safe." "Okay." "Hi." "Uh, are y..." "Are you with Dr. feldstein?" "Oh, no, I'm s..." "I'm sorry." "I'm, um..." "I'm Raymond's son." "Oh, y-you're Dr. engersol's son." "Yes, I'm sorry, I'll give your family some privacy." "No, no." "You got your dad here." "And that was real important to my father." "So I'm..." "Just please, just make yourself at home." "Thank you." "I'm sorry." "You're welcome." "This is..." "Just seconal?" "Yep, just sleeping pills." "How was the trip?" "Not easy." "But then nothing is anymore." "Tell me about it." "How's... how's estelle?" "Where is she?" "She's in the cabin." "She's resting." "Estelle would not do well with this kind of thing." "Well, she's gonna have to, huh?" "Pete?" "Are you ready?" "Look at me, ray." "What do you think?" "You, on the other hand, don't look so bad for someone who's dying." "Well, I've not yet caught up to you." "Are you ready?" "Yeah." "E-n-g-e-r-s-o-l, he's a patient of Dr. feldstein's." "I don't have that information." "I'm sure you do have the information because he did have an appointment here today with Dr. feldstein, i don't need his..." "Okay I just..." "I just need some information on my father because he was supposed to be here today but we can't find him and we think he might be in danger." " So can you please help me?" " I'm sorry, but as I said." "I don't have that information and even if I did, it wouldn't be within my rights to give it to you." " Oh, Jesus, you're kidding me." " I'm so sorry." "Fine, fine." "Did you try Danny again?" "Brian!" "Did you call Danny?" "!" "What?" "Yes." "His phone is off." "Can you help me with this?" "No, I'm sorry." "It has to be you." "It has to be me." "So, when you're done with that, we're gonna fill it up with water." "And then he has to drink the whole thing." "It's not gonna taste very good." "So, is there something he likes to chase it with?" "Orange juice or something?" "Mm-hmm." "I've got something." "It's, um, apricot nectar." "He always loved it." " Perfect." " Okay." " Just keep going, huh?" " Yup." "Your father would like to see you." "He's ready." "I'll give you the room." "Okay." "Just i... just..." "I need to finish this, okay?" "I'll be in in a minute." "I can do this." "He's my dad." "Before we go any further, Peter," "I have to ask you those two questions we talked about." "Would you like to change your mind?" "I would not, Candace." "But thank you, though." "And thank everybody here, and especially you." "Thank you for understanding." "I loved my life..." "And all of you." "But it's time." "One last question, Peter." "What will taking this medication do to you?" "Kill me dead." "Maryanne, you can give that to your dad." "I love you." "I am proud of you." "We've had a great time, huh?" "There's no rush." "Is that you in there, dad?" "You got the whole family together..." "In Oregon..." "Where it all started." "What now?" "It's Danny." "Hey, bud." "Huh?" "!" "How could you not tell me?" "!" "Huh?" "!" "How could you not tell me?" "!" "This is a family decision, and you stole that from me, Danny, you stole that from me." "It was his decision, Kate." "Daddy..." "Daddy?" "Why would you do that?" "Because I'm the only one who could." "He's my father, too!" "He lives with me!" "He relies on me!" "You haven't existed for years!" " You're too close." " What?" "!" " You're too close." " Fuck you!" "What the fuck, man." "Where were you?" "He is gonna qualify, Brian." "What is that?" "Brian, what is..." "Brian, what does it say?" "What does that say?" "What does it say?" "No, no, no, he can't do this." "He can't do this, Brian." "He can't do this." "He can't do this." "I can't go through the surgery again, estelle." "I just can't." "I still want to die." "But I don't want to die..." "With all this anger." "I don't want to die..." "With you and the kids hating me." "I'll just live until I can't live anymore." "I don't care about the pain, but..." "Please..." "Please help me fix our family."