" They're all against gays." "They'll do anything to to destroy them, to kill them, to torture them." " The Middle East has a huge humanitarian crisis." "If no countries are accepting refugees, a lot more people will end up killed in their home countries when they're trying to flee." " Ramadi was the most dangerous area in the world." "I never thought I'm gonna find love in this place." "Since I was born, I always know I'm gay." "I'm different." "My family is more open from other Iraqi families, but not, of course, about gays or straights." "[children singing]" "In Saddam time, if two gays have sex together, they put them in jail for 15 years." "Or the tribe and the families, they don't want people talking bad about them, so they make them run away to get the shame out." "I don't want to shame my family." "So when I was in high school," "I start to go to the mosque." "I start to pray, and I start to change how I talk." "I want to be so manly." "I want to be like other people or better than them." "I change a lot of myself." "My father, he asked me to buy cigarettes for him." "And I told him, with Arabic dialect," "I'm not gonna buy the cigarettes for you, because it's a poison, and it's gonna poison you and gonna kill you." "And he was like, "Are you crazy?"" "because the way--how I talked with him." "And I was wearing--I was wearing, like, a--like, a shemagh." "And he say to my youngest brother," ""I don't know what's going on with your brother."" "The way how I walk in and sit like it, like--it was, like, funny, if I remember it now." "But in that time, I was very serious." "I was like, "Yes, that's the new Nayyef now."" "And that last maybe two weeks." "This is not me." "So I need to explore, try to find gay life." "In 1997, I get accepted by Baghdad University, in fine art college." "There was a lot of students." "They come from Jordan, from Libya, from Yemen, from Lebanon." "So in that time, I meet a lot of other gay guys, and I felt like," ""Oh, my God, this is the heaven for me."" "I start wearing different clothes, like skinny jeans." "I start doing stuff with my hair, you know, start wearing my contacts." "And I was having my first relationship with other guy." "So the gays back in Baghdad, we still have same problem." "Even if it's a more open area, two guys together, they're gonna put you in jail." "The funny is, if there's two guys holding hand each other, that's normal between two straight guys." "They just friends." "When the Americans come to Iraq, they think all the guys are gay." "I never hold friends' hands, because I'm really gay." "[explosions booming] [sirens wailing]" " My fellow citizens, at this hour," "American and coalition forces are in the early stages of military operations to disarm Iraq, to free its people, and to defend the world from grave danger." " 2003, after I graduate, the war start." "American troops come inside Baghdad." "We never thought Saddam will be gone." "All my life, I know how powerful he is." "It's like the walls have ears." "They can hear you, even if you talk with yourself." "So we don't believe it's happening." "I moved back to the South, and I was looking for a job." "Two friends start working as translators with Americans, with the Dutch, with the British." "They give them $5 every week." "$5--it's enough for me the whole week." "I was looking to them, and I just wish talk with someone English, so I can test my English." "And I start talk with some foot patrol, and I told them about my background." "I was in the college." "And he say, "Okay, just come tomorrow,"" "and I start." "They give me a chance." "They're not kick me out--"Oh, you know what?" "You're not speaking English very well, so just go."" "They start teaching me, and I start learning military things." "A friend of mine went to Ramadi." "He said, "They pay you, in a month, $1,200."" "This was a big step for me, and I decide to go there in 2004." "They take us by big convoy to Ramadi, protect with guns and armor cars." "We'd move in the night, so the terrorists, they could not see us." "The trip was six hours between Baghdad and Ramadi." "We didn't know what's in the way." "You heard about the IED bombs all the time, so I was very, very scared." "And next morning, the commander for the translators says, "We're here helping the soldiers to clear the city from the terrorists."" " Throw the grenade in the bunker." " They start training me--shooting, run, fight." "They give me American uniform, they give me a weapon, and I looked like one of the American troops." "I have a nickname." "I not give my real name." "My name was David." "Americans teach us this for our protection." "Because we're teaching the Iraqi new army, we don't know if Iraqi soldiers work with the terrorists." "And we find, actually, some of them was a spy for the terrorists." " The most dangerous part of Iraq remains the region west of Baghdad, especially the city of Ramadi." " Half the total number of U.S. servicemen killed in Iraq during March gave their lives in Ramadi, now the last great stronghold of the Iraqi insurgency." " Grueling fighting continued today in Ramadi." "The U.S. military says it appears some of these enemy fighters are foreigners who possibly entered Iraq from Syria." " In the first week I'm there, there is a tower--a watching tower and a cam--and two soldier Iraqis was there." "They get shot by a sniper." "And I heard all the soldiers." "They start screaming." " Fire over there!" "It's locked in!" " Target!" " They find out where the shot come from." "It's a normal family building." "The sniper make a hole in the window, and he was shooting us from the family." " Watch that building!" " That's when I realized how dangerous Ramadi is." " People give us names." "And those names work with the terrorists, or they have weapons." "They kick the door when people sleeping." " Get the [bleep] up!" " Get up!" " Put it down!" "You--put 'em down." " Get him back!" " [bleep]" " Get--get the [bleep] down!" "Go!" " They all scared, they all scream, kids cry, and I have to talk with them." "I try to do my best to tell the family everything will be fine." "They say, "What are you guys doing?" "It's wrong." "You guys are gonna kill us."" "And if one of the names we find, we have to handcuff him and take him with us." " You're going to jail tonight for a very long time." " Which is make all the girls screaming loudly." "They try to hold him." "I have, as translator, to tell the Americans what I feel about this person--if he say the truth or he's lying." "And I have to deal with this." "It's so difficult to judge people." "And what about if my feeling is wrong, and he's a good guy?" "What about if I think he's a good guy, but he's not?" "To be in the military is not easy, because I have to deal with weapons, and I have to see dead bodies." "I see thousands of them." "I don't want to see them." "I don't want to see blood." "I don't want to see knives or anything period--any human." "I'm an artist." "I like to make people feel good." "When they see flowers, when they see beautiful, colorful painting--that's how-- that's how I am." "That's what's inside me." "Ramadi was the most dangerous area in the world." "I never thought I'm gonna find a love in this place." "When I first saw this Iraqi soldier..." "It was afternoon, and I still remember his black hair shine with the sun." "I go back, and I tell my friend," ""Oh, my God, I saw the most handsome guy ever."" " Because I'm translator, everyone looking at me." "Everyone want to talk with me, because everyone want to know more about the Americans." "So I thought Btoo was just--when he look at me, it's just like other soldiers." "In 2005, we started going to mission together." "And we stayed 15 days in a house." " Oh, my God, this cute guy, he start talking with me and inviting me for dinners." "I just want to see him every night, to talk and relax." " One night in garden, I start to talk with him about my friends." "I not tell him details, because I don't know if he's gay or not." " We were sitting next to one of the Humvees, which is dark at night." "Just the night visions work there." " I look at him, and he look at me." "And after that, we have first kiss." " Before, I have been in Ramadi to help my family." "But after I meet Btoo," "I'm staying as translator in Ramadi just to be with him, so I can see him every day." "We go vacation together." " So it's a war." "It's dangerous." "But I'm so excited, because I'm with my boyfriend." "Iraqi soldiers, they have small encampment in camp separate from the Americans." " Every time we have mission, I'm worried about him, if he's gonna come back or not." "I check his battalion to see if he's back, if nothing's happened to him." "Sometimes, I go to the operation room, and I can hear his voice about where he is or he's doing fine or nothing happened to them." " One day, we was have a foot patrol, and there's just dead cow in the street." " Pick it up." " The other soldiers was walking in front of me, and--it fly." " Get up!" " Dust." " Get up!" " Shock." " Ahh!" " Get up!" " My ears have this sound like." "[imitates beeping]" "There was IED bomb inside the dead cow." " Go!" "Go!" " We have two soldier killed in that time." "If I maybe go a few more feet," "I may get killed." "With the days, with the years, with love, relationship going more serious." "But in all the time spent in Ramadi," "I still cannot tell him my real name." "He still call me David till 2008." "My sister, she was dying in a hospital." "I don't want him come, meet my family, but I just want to see him in same time." "I told him, "Please come."" " He come from Baghdad to Basra, which is long, long hours drive." "And I meet him at the hospital, and I cry." " When he come and meet my family, me and him stayed in this hospital for 11 day, till she die." "My mom, she already lose a lot of the family." "And before she go to bring a lunch to us, she told me to take care of my sister." "How I gonna meet my mom, tell her my sister, she die already?" "And my" "She was the most close person" "I can speak with." "She loved me so much." "And he hugged me, make me calm down." "And that's when my feelings get stronger." "Because he's with me in a bad situation, not just in a good situation, which make me--"Yes, this is the person I want to spend all my rest life with."" "So I told him my real name, where I'm from, and why I lie to him." "And he said he know, and he completely understand why I did this." "I feel like a big problem just gone, and now I'm honest, and I'm free." " The situation for gays in Iraq changed to more bad after Saddam." "Muqtada al-Sadr, he's a son for one of the big religious people Saddam killed." "After the war, when Americans come in, Muqtada make his own army called Mahdi army." "They judge people, killing them for listening to music, killing them for what they're wearing." "And that's also what they did with gay guys." "In 2007, there was a gay guy's birthday with a bunch of gay guys belly dancing-- very feminine and all that." "They shot a video for fun." "This video get shared all over Iraq, till someone with the Mahdi army find out." "Religious commanders decide to make them example for the others." "They torture them." "They kill them." "They take videos so everyone can see what happens if you are gay." " But all this situation is in fact my relationship with Btoo, and what'll happen if they find out about it." "What'll happen if his family find out?" "His family's a religious family living in a very religious area in Baghdad." "What'll happen if my family know and I give them shame?" "So I start thinking about a life outside Iraq." "I'm thinking about the future." "I start to dream I will marry Btoo one day, but this is gonna be impossible in Iraq." "I can't continue with him or live with him here." " So now it's time to say good-bye for the family." "My mom, she was like, "I lost your sister and now you."" "So I was sitting in a taxi to take me to Baghdad, which is--Btoo is waiting me there." "I saw her fall down on the ground." "Because she cannot stand on her feet with her son leaving." "I think, like," ""I'm the bad person now here."" "And with all the pain my mom, she have, I give her more pain." "But I could not stay, because there's no future for me and Btoo here." "They're never gonna let us live together." " We not sleep that night." "And we was talking together, remember all the years we spent in Iraq." "And I was telling him, "I'm not gonna forget you." ""I'm not gonna leave you." ""I will do my best to get him as soon I could, behind me."" "And we could be together." " It's time to say good-bye to him." "I want to--I just want to remember him exactly how he look." "The sun just coming out, and I take this picture, and he have this very sad face." "And I hug him and tell him," ""We're gonna see each other very soon, and we're gonna be together."" "I was thinking to go to San Francisco first, because they said it's the capital of the gays." "But I have two friends." "They already live in Seattle, and I move there because they live there." "And when I get to Seattle, I land at night." "I saw the city, and I saw the downtown, and I was, like, in shock." "Oh my God, how beautiful." "That was my first time" "I saw that much big buildings." "I saw the Space Needle--it looked like 3-D movie-- and get excited." "But my happiness is not complete." "I'm missing Btoo." " When I first come, I speak with my caseworker, how I could bring my boyfriend here." "And she said it's difficult." "He's not your husband." "He's not your son or brother, so it's gonna be difficult to bring him." " To make him not feel lonely, I send him iPad so we can have video chat any time, anywhere." "I'll do anything just at least touch him again or see him again, look at his eyes, or just to be inside him again." "So I will do anything." "I write to Obama when he get president first time." "I tell him about Btoo." "I even write to Oprah." "She help a lot of people and make them surprise." "And I was imagine Oprah, she bring Btoo to me, and I surprise, and I find Btoo in front me." "But I'm getting more hopeless to not see him, till I meet Michael." "I met Michael at a friend party." "I was telling him my story, and he get interested." "He start helping me." " My name is Michael Failla." "I grew up in Michigan, then I went and became a psychologist." "And then after that, I became a chiropractor." "And then I started a software company, which became big, and I sold that last year." "And during the course of my career," "I also spent a lot of time helping refugees from all over the world." "I began helping survivors of the killing fields from Cambodia." "Then I started helping the Ethiopian community." "Before I met Nayyef, I would occasionally hear about a execution of a gay person in the Middle East." "But I didn't know how common executions were, because most of the executions aren't publicized, because they're not carried out by the government." "The governments don't have to." "The people do it themselves." "There's willing executioners on every block in every neighborhood who kill gay people, and the government just sheds a blind eye toward it." "So Btoo was living in a tremendous amount of fear." "When I met Nayyef, they had pretty much exhausted most of their options to try to get him over legally." " Okay, we're gonna eat dinner." " And they were pretty hopeless." "Where there's a will, there's a way, so I just started looking at all the different ways that we might be able to get him out." " I want to, when I open my eyes--like before, when I open my eyes, I see his face." "So I make it huge, so when I--when I wake up in the morning, like, the first thing I saw." "I say, "Good morning, Btoo."" " That was a very bad situation for us, because if he get married, he'd have to stay there." "And also, in that time, his brother find out about us." "He called me, and he said, "What do you want from my brother?"" " Faced with this information," "I said, "Btoo needs to desert the military today." "Get out of Iraq."" "Lebanon was our place of choice, because you can get a 30-day tourist visa if you're an Iraqi." "So I wired Btoo the money, we got him 30 days of hotel bills paid, and we got him a round-trip airline ticket between Baghdad and Beirut." " I was very worried." "I was calling him all the time." ""Okay, did you get the ticket?" "Be careful." "This is last chance for us." "Don't tell anyone where you're going."" " I was awake all the night." "He called me around 3:00 in the morning." "He said, "I'm safe." "I'm in Lebanon now."" "I was crying and screaming." "I said, "Are you sure?" "Take a picture and send it to me so I can believe you."" "He did that for me." "He left everything, because we dreaming all the time to build our future." "And he did it, and he get out." "So that was a huge, big moment for us." " After Btoo was safely in Beirut," "I made an application for him for refugee status with the UNHCR office in Beirut." "The UNHCR stands for the United Nations" "High Commission for Refugees." "Essentially, what happens is, if you escape from another country and you end up illegally someplace else, if you want to become resettled to another country, you have to apply for refugee status first." "And so the UNHCR screens refugees for resettlement." "The UNHCR accepts people who prove to them that they have to flee their country." "But one mistake in interpretation can mean that person is finished." "Their life might be over." "They might end up being sent back and being killed in the country that they fled." " The new Hezbollah-backed prime minister of Lebanon has begun to form his cabinet, following two days of widespread protests." "Thousands of Sunni Muslims poured onto the streets, burning tires, throwing rocks, and accusing the militant group of a coup." " We set off early in the morning for his meeting at UNHCR headquarters." "There were checkpoints all across the city, so it was very, very hard to get to the UNHCR offices, because Btoo was illegal." "He couldn't make it through a checkpoint." "I have a U.S. passport and an Irish passport." "I can get through any checkpoint." "But Btoo, if he had been caught, he could've been sent back to Iraq, where he would've been killed." " After some difficulty, we made it to the UNHCR headquarters." "Finally, about 4:00 in the afternoon, they called Btoo's name." "The interviewer told me that I could not accompany him, so I said to the interviewer," ""One of the things I want you to understand" ""is that Btoo is being persecuted," ""and his life is threatened, because he is gay."" "And the UNHCR interviewer looked at me." "He says, "We don't care about gays here." "Gays are not our priority."" "And then Btoo was taken back for his interview." " When I heard from Btoo, I was feeling very, very bad." "He's a soldier." "He's gay." "He's in danger." "But do you think this is important for the UN?" "I'm not sure." " With the situation he's living in, running away from the soldiers and from checkpoints, it's very difficult to show him, like, "Oh, look how I live."" "But in the same time, I was telling him how we could live." "Skype was very important for us, because we could see each other and feel like we're living together, but--we not really live together, but how is our life will be." " I wish he can be with me and holding each other." "This was gay pride, and they put the rainbow flag in the top of the Space Needle for three days." "And I was like," ""That--they really like gays here," you know?" "And I was like, "Oh, my God."" "And I was, like, feeling myself, like I'm proud that I'm gay, whatever--you know, something like not usual to me." "And you see all those thousands people, they're just proud that they're gay." "And I danced all the day." "I look like slut here." "When we're separate, I start doing music video." "I want a way to show him what's going on for me without him." " I'm waiting tomorrow to finish, not just today." "I just want--want to hope." "I just want to close my eyes and open my eyes, and I saw you next to me." "I don't want anything else." "When he feel lonely and get drunk and cry," "I always feel like I'm guilty." "I put him in this." "I not care about my family." "I not care about travel." "I not care to Baghdad." "I just care about to see you and miss you--this the important things." "I feel like someone just hold my hands and my legs and I cannot move anymore, when I see him like this." "I want to just hug him." "He would feel better." "He would feel safe, you know?" "So this is what make me--killing me every day, and try to fight to do anything just to get him--to get him from there." " Btoo had several interviews during his refugee process." "And the UNHCR has such a huge job to do, because almost all refugees who are seeking asylum to another country through the UNHCR and--sometimes those waves of refugees are beyond what they can handle." "So we were waiting, and we were waiting." " That's my Christmas--just me and this tree--and I don't know what I have to do." " And we were waiting, and we were waiting." "Finally, the UNHCR office told me that Btoo was being recommended for exclusion." "Exclusion means that his application will never be accepted for resettlement as a refugee." "And then they finally said that, because of some things that he had said in his interview, that they thought that he may have been a witness to torture." "And they could never accept somebody who was aware of torture happening in a military unit that they served in, or if they were a witness to torture, they would be considered a war criminal." "Hello?" "I asked them to send me the transcripts, and they refused to send me the transcripts, so I started calling and emailing the UNHCR and kept requesting another interview." "Everybody's afraid to get this one interviewer." "They're afraid that she will say that they said things that they didn't say." " It's been two years, and any time he will be caught by the police or the army and sent back to Iraq, and he'll be killed by his tribe and family." "They're all looking for him." "So I-I would love the UN in Seattle to help us in this case." "This is--this is terrible." "This is terrible." "He have to be with me, or I have to be with him." " We're looking forward to hearing what you have to say." "The UNHCR process was looking pretty hopeless." "I knew we needed a plan B." "I heard of a program in Canada where you could get a group of sponsors together who would pledge to be responsible for that person." "If that person had medical problems, they would cover those medical problems." "If that person had--got into any trouble with the government, they would be responsible." "So I contacted some of my friends up in Vancouver who agreed to participate in this, and we got the paperwork rolling." "And then, once again, we were waiting." " I was like, "Oh my God," "I have to be with him in interview."" "And Michael, he said, "Happy birthday." "I have a ticket for you to go see Btoo."" "And that was most happy news" "I ever get." "There's a lot of stuff I buy him." "See, I buy him this." "He'll love it." "The grey and the blue is the most favor--his favorite colors." "And it's with feathers, so he like that stuff." "I love the underwears in America." "And you go--they just stretch with your body, make your shape." "I get him shoes and something he can wear in the home so he not feel cold." "I have this, so I can sleep in the--in the airplane." "We're seeing Btoo." "My feeling is so weird." "It is like--it's like missing, happy, scared." "It's a lot together." "I tell him," ""You look--you look so big." "What are you eating?"" "I told him, "There's no Skyping anymore."" "We don't need Skyping." " If you answer any of this wrong, even a little bit, they will exclude you." "Now, Mr. Sinan, did you ever arrest any terrorists?" " Never, never cross your arms." "Okay, so this is what they're saying you said." "During the interrogations or the questioning, they were subjected to very harsh treatments that could amount occasionally to torture." " Okay, this answer was close, but not like this." " Nope." "You sound angry." " So his answer was what makes this a problem, because he not say, "No, they not,"" "and he not say," ""No, I don't know."" "He say, "I'm not sure if they--this is not my responsibility."" "So if you answer someone like this, he will think, you know, something's up." " Yeah, so that is the problem." "So let's talk about how we get around that problem." "So the answer here--you know, he was never aware of anybody that the people that he handed over or anything that he was involved with or anything with his group--that he was ever aware of any harsh treatment or torture." "Who arrested the prisoners?" " The coalition forces." " American forces, okay." "Where did they take them?" " He said--okay." " They are going to try to get you emotional." "You cannot get emotional." "You have to turn on the charm." "When you get angry, you know." "So if this person doesn't like you, this person has the power to say," ""I'm going to exclude you."" "You can do this tomorrow, but you need to do it tomorrow with a smile, good eye contact, love in your heart." "If you start to--if you start to find yourself getting nervous..." "Stop." "It's better to be silent than to be angry." "Tonight, you guys enjoy, relax." "No alcohol--no alcohol, but lots of sex and lots of massage tonight." "But I also want you rested." "We arrive at UNHCR offices." "The office is a beehive filled with mostly Syrian refugees who were fleeing the civil war in Syria." "So we were in a very, very tiny room with paper-thin walls." "We had expected that the interview was going to last about 3 hours, but the interview lasted a total of 11 hours." "During the interview, he went through Btoo's entire history, from as a child." "And then he focused in exclusively, almost month-by-month on Btoo's entire military history." "I had been wondering and asking for months and months and months," ""Why do you believe that he was a witness to torture?"" "In the interview, it became clear to me, what they had believed and what a previous interviewer had said about Btoo was that he had been a witness to the torture in Abu Ghraib by the United States." "It turned out that, in an earlier interview two years before, when he was first applying, they asked him if he had ever known or seen anything of Abu Ghraib." "And he explained that he had gone into the American office and saw that on a monitor--on a TV screen." "And the interviewer told that in her story about Btoo, but she left out that he saw it on a news report." "She made it sound like he saw it in person." "And so for this reason, they had recommended him for exclusion." " Here his only knowledge all along about Abu Ghraib was a news report that he had seen in an office on a television screen on the American base." " We know that his military history, and the records of where he was at, does not put him anywhere near Abu Ghraib." "And after 11 hours, we left the interview, and it was up to the interviewer." "We didn't know whether he believed Btoo or whether he didn't believe Btoo." " He called me at 3:00 in the morning, and he's saying, "I got accepted."" "I said, "What do you mean, you got accepted?"" "He said, "I got accepted in Canada."" "I said, "Are you kidding?" "This is not gonna be happening in one interview."" "We've been all these years, fighting with the UN." " Oh my God, he's almost one step away." " Hey." " And I call Michael around 5:00 in the morning, and I told him what's happening." "I cannot believe it." " Oh, wow." " I cannot believe it." " Best news-- the best news ever." " I know, it's the best news ever." "This is Btoo." " Oh, Btoo!" "Hey, Btoo." "How are you?" "Congratulations." " How are you?" "I am fine." "But [indistinct] has the flow." " Flu." " Flu." " I start counting how many days left till he will come and live in Canada." " How is your family?" "We are all fine." " Very good." "The moment I saw him in the--in the airport, that was a big, beautiful moment." "I was the most happy person in my life." " So you're finally together." " Yes, we are." " Here's your new home." "Pretty beautiful, huh?" " And life is gonna be what you make of it." " Of course, every immigrant has an amazing story about their journey here to the United States." "But we talked to a man who made it all the way here from war-torn Iraq." "We first spotted Nayyef Hrebid waving the flag of his new country." "He escaped to here after working as an interpreter for the United States military in Iraq." " I hereby declare on oath, each of you is a citizen of the United States of America." "Congratulations." " Since Btoo started living in Canada," "I've been going there every single week and focus all my vacations and everything to be with him." "He said yes!" "[cheers and applause]" "Since me and Btoo are safe now, we decide to help other people come here." "The situation now in Middle East is going more bad and bad, especially from the IS and from militias." "They all against gays, and they would do anything to destroy them." " We need a new generation to change the thinking about gay people in Middle East." "We're not like what they're saying." "We're not bad." "We're not evil." "We're just normal people." "That's the way how we're born, and that's the way--how we want to live." "They're not gonna stop us." " Btoo and Nayyef have one of the most beautiful love affairs" "I've ever seen." "What's unique about Nayyef and Btoo is their bravery." "I can't tell you." "I feel so happy that I was a part of helping them have a new life together--a life that they deserve." " I've been dreaming about the wedding since a long, long time ago." "And finally, we get to make our life how we dream it." " I promise you to love you, protect you, honor you, and respect you for the rest of my life." "I love you." " It's been 10 1/2 years." "Four years of them was very difficult." "But there was never a time I thought," ""It's not gonna be worth it."" "This relationship has shown me what love can be." "I love you so much." "Yours is big." " By the power vested in me and by the state of Washington," "I pronounce you married." "[cheers and applause]" " The funny--every time I dreamed about something" "I wish, it happens." "I wanted to get accepted to fine art college." "I did." "When the war start, I dreamed about living in United States, and I did." "I dreamed me and Btoo get safe and get married, and I did." "I have one more dream--me and Btoo adopt kids." "Kids really need family, and I start dreaming about building our own home." "We can do a lot for the family."