"To you children in the New York area," "Superman will be making personal appearances this week at Macy's Department Store." "Check your local paper for all details." "Okay, Superman, Jr., time to go to bed." "Oh, no, Mommy." "Come on, now, honey, Superman's going to bed." "He always goes to bed right after his show." "Yeah, come on, partner, I'll tuck you in." "Oh, wait a minute now." "Superman always takes his cape off before he goes to bed." "There we are." "Okay, sweetheart." "'Night, Mommy." "Good night, angel." "Don't forget to say your prayers." "Mommy?" "What, dear?" "Can Superman come to my birthday party Saturday?" "Superman come to your birthday party?" "Well, I don't know about that, honey." "But I'll tell you what." "If you're a good boy," "I'll take you down to Macy's to see him." "Oh, boy!" "Come on, Ricky." "Whoop-de-do." "What's all that?" "These are the favors we bought for Little Ricky's birthday party." "Oh, they're just perfect." "How much do I owe you?" "Oh, they're our treat." "$5.32." "pay for all these things." "You see, Ethel, those were my exact words." "Oh, Fred." "You'll have to excuse him." "We still haven't rented that apartment next door to you, and that's why he's acting so stingy." "I mean, stingier than usual." "Ha-ha." "Oh, now, Fred!" "Hi." "Hi, Ricky." "Are those the favors for Little Ricky's party?" "Yeah." "Aren't they cute?" "Yeah." "Since we're Little Ricky's godparents, we're buying all the favors." "Well, that's very generous of you." "You're telling me." "Oh, Fred." "Of course, we also want to get him a gift." "A gift, too?" "Yes, a gift, too." "What do you think he'd like, Lucy?" "Oh, I don't know." "If I don't rent that apartment next door," "I'll be glad to give him the whole building." "Fred, will you stop grousing?" "Look, you've already done enough now." "Forget about a gift." "Hey, Ethel, lay off those nuts." "They're for company." "Well, thanks a lot." "I just meant that you're not company, dear;" "you're more like family." "Oh." "Gee, I should have known they weren't for us; they're fresh." "Oh, come on." "Who's coming over?" "Caroline and Charlie Appleby." "Yeah." "They were in the neighborhood and called us." "And we couldn't think of an excuse fast enough, so they're dropping by." "An excuse?" "I thought Caroline was a good friend of yours." "Oh, she is, but she's so boring." "She's one of those mothers who's always bragging about her child." "Yeah, and Charlie's even worse." "Her Stevie is so cute," "Her Stevie is so sweet." "Her Stevie is so smart." "Ooh, I get so sick of it..." "Yeah." "...when everyone knows that Little Ricky is a lot cuter, a lot sweeter and certainly a lot smarter." "Yeah." "But for bores, they're really awfully nice people, so I guess we can put up with them, huh?" "Besides, Stevie's Little Ricky's best friend." "Yeah, that's right." "Oh, I must remember to invite Stevie to the party Saturday." "Sure, you gotta invite him to the party, honey." "What are you looking for, dear?" "I'm looking for the new pictures I took of Little Ricky." "Oh." "Here they are." "What do you want with them?" "Well, when Charlie Appleby starts to bore me with his pictures of Little Stevie," "I'm gonna be ready." "Come on, Fred, let's get out of here." "I don't want to stick around for the "bore war."" "Oh, come on." "Thanks for the gifts." "Oh, that's all right, honey." "See you later, Rick." "Bye, Fred." "Oh, I just love buying them." "Don't mention it." "Okay." "Bye." "Good night." "What's the matter with you, boy?" "I'm practicing." "For once, I'm gonna beat Charlie Appleby to the draw." "Oh..." "And he picked up Marilyn Monroe, slung her over his shoulder and carried her off." "Oh, Caroline, that just sounds like a wonderful movie." "We have to see that, honey." "Yeah." "Yeah, it was good all right." "Say, do you realize we've been here almost an hour and not one of us has even mentioned our children?" "You know you're absolutely right, Charlie." "Seems like whenever people with children get together, that's all they can talk about." "Personally, I think it's a terrible bore." "Yeah, yeah, me, too." "'Course, every once in a while," "Stevie does something so cute," "I just can't resist telling about it." "Like the other day, we, we were talking about his birthday-- he'll be five next week, you know-- he came up to me and he said... he came up to me and he said... he said, "Daddy, are you five years old yet?"" ""Are you five years old yet?"" "Yeah." ""Are you five years old yet?"" "That's very cute." "Yeah, cute." "Oh, say, speaking of birthdays, we want to invite Little Ricky to Stevie's party." "Well, thank you very much." "We want to invite Stevie to Ricky's party, too." "Oh, well, good." "He'd love to come." "I just remembered-- the kids were born four days apart." "That's right." "Well, then we'll expect Little Ricky at 2:00 Saturday afternoon." "That's fine." "Saturday afternoon?" "That's when we're having Little Ricky's party." "Oh, my goodness, what a shame." "Oh, this is awful." "Well, honey, neither of the kids' birthdays is really on Saturday, so one of us will change the day of the party." "Sure, and that way, all their little friends can go to both parties." "Yeah." "Well, that's a good idea." "One of us will change." "Yeah." "One of us will have to change." "What day are you gonna have your party on, Caroline?" "Now, wait a minute, Lucy." "I don't want Stevie's party another day." "Saturday's the best day; it's a non-school day." "But it makes much more sense for you to change, Caroline." "After all, Stevie's birthday isn't on Saturday." "It's on Thursday, isn't it?" "Well, so what?" "Little Ricky's birthday isn't till next Monday." "Well, Monday's much closer to Saturday than Thursday." "How do you figure?" "Well, Monday's all part of the weekend-- you know, Saturday, Sunday, Monday-- but Thursday-- it's Thursday..." "Friday..." "Saturday." "Thursday is miles from Saturday." "Oh, that's ridiculous." "Thursday is just as close to Saturday as Monday." "Well..." "What time was Little Stevie born?" "12:00 noon." "Aha!" "Little Ricky was born at 11:00 in the morning." "And 11:00 Monday is closer to 2:00 Saturday than 12:00 Thursday." "So, you'll just have to change your party, Caroline." "Oh, now, wait, wait, Stevie was born in California." "That's Pacific standard time." "So, that means he actually would've been born three hours later in New York time..." "Well, if you're gonna drag in those phony technicalities." "Well, you're the one who started it." "Well, we'll just see who'll change their party, Caroline." "Yeah, we'll just see." "Yes, we will." "All right, all right, now, girls, it's no use getting upset about nothing." "Don't worry, you'll work something out." "Anyone care for a cigarette?" "Caroline?" "No, thank you." "Lucy?" "No." "Thank you." "Ricky?" "Yes." "Let's have a cigarette." "Oh, I just remembered." "I've got some new pictures here of Stevie." "Isn't that cute?" "Isn't that the cutest thing?" "...about Pacific standard time." "Ricky, what do you want for breakfast, dear?" "Nothing, honey, I'm awful late." "Okay." "If there's one thing I can't stand is someone who's pigheaded." "Now, it wouldn't have hurt her a bit to change her party to another day." "Well, it wouldn't hurt you to change yours either." "Whose side are you on?" "!" "Well, I'm in Little Ricky's camp." "Well, all right." "But why can't you both have your parties on Saturday?" "Because Stevie and Ricky are in the same class at school, and they'll each be inviting the same children." "Well, can't you split the guest list down the middle?" "No, that won't work." "She's invited a clown, a magician." "She's having a puppet show." "All the little kids will want to go to Stevie's party." "Oh." "Well, why don't you get some entertainment that'll top Caroline's, and then they'll want to come to Little Ricky's party." "Who am I gonna get?" "Oh, boy, there goes Superman!" "Ethel, that's it!" "That's what?" "I'll get Superman for Ricky's party." "How could you do that?" "Ricky'll get him for me." "He met him when we were in Hollywood." "And Superman's in town;" "I heard it on television." "Oh, boy, that'd be great." "Wouldn't it?" "Honey, will you do me a favor?" "Will you call Superman this afternoon?" "Sure, dear." "Good-bye." "Superman?" "!" "Yeah, for Ricky's party Saturday." "Oh, oh." "Oh, yeah, hey, that would be a wonderful idea." "Will you get him for me?" "Okay, honey, I'll call him the minute I get to the club." "Okay, dear." "All right." "Boy, imagine having a father who knows Superman." "Oh!" "How about that?" "Ha, ha, ha!" "Hey, Ricky, guess what?" "You're gonna get your wish." "Who do you think's coming to your party Saturday?" "Superman!" "Oh, boy, oh, boy!" "Ha, ha!" "Hello." "Hello, Caroline." "Oh, hello, Lucy." "How are you, dear?" "Fine, dear, and how are you?" "Fine." "I'm calling about Little Ricky's party Saturday." "Oh." "Look, Lucy, if you're determined to have Little Ricky's party on Saturday," "I'm afraid he's going to be awfully lonesome." "All the children seem so anxious to see the magician and the puppets and the clowns." "Yes, uh, Little Ricky was, too, until he found out that Superman's going to be at his party." "Superman's coming to Little Ricky's party?" "Uh-huh." "Superman?" "Oh, boy!" "Shh!" "I want to go to Little Ricky's party." "Now, listen, Stevie, you're having a party of your own." "I don't want a party." "I want to go to Little Ricky's party." "Now, now, Stevie." "I want to see Superman, I want to see Superman." "Oh, Stevie, shh..." "Is that Little Stevie I hear?" "He sounds so cute." "O-kay, Lucy, you win." "We'll change our party." "Well, if you insist, dear." "See you Saturday, then." "Toodle-oo." "Lucy!" "What?" "Will you hide my sterling silver for me?" "Sure, but why?" "Oh, it's Fred." "He's frantic because that apartment next door is still empty." "What's that got to do with this?" "He's getting that look in his eye that means he's gonna pawn the family silver." "Oh, Ethel, he wouldn't do that." "Not your mother's flatware." "He'd pawn me if I had a few more gold fillings." "Ethel, call the police!" "Somebody stole our silver." "Oh, there it is." "What did you want with it, Fred?" "Well, I-I noticed last thanksgiving that it was getting a little tarnished, and I want to clean it." "Oh, sure." "Well, then give it to me so I can clean it." "Oh, no, nothing doing." "Oh..." "Well, then what did you do with my mandolin?" "It's downstairs in a box in the basement." "But you won't get more than 50 cents on that." "Well, 50 cents is two hamburgers, and that'll keep us eating for another day." "Isn't that a pitiful sight?" "Poor Fred." "Oh, here, girl." "What's this?" "That's your invitation to the party." "I thought it was sort of silly to mail it with the others." "Oh, honey, you didn't have to invite us." "I insist that you come." "I need your help." "Our help?" "Ethel, we're having ten five-year-olds." "When they start wrestling and fighting," "I want you and Fred to help referee." "Oh, but don't forget you'll have Superman here to keep them in line." "Well, that might help a little." "Yeah." "Gee, honey, that's a cute invitation." "Aren't they sweet?" "Hello?" "Hi, honey." "Oh, hi, we all set with Superman?" "Well, I'm afraid not, dear." "You see, I talked to his secretary, and he's leaving Saturday for Terry Hoot." "For Terry who?" "Terry Hoot." "Terry hoot, Indiana." "He's taking a plane Saturday." "Oh, no." "What's the matter, honey?" "Superman pooped out." "Oh, honey, can't he take a later plane?" "That's the only flight that day." "Oh, if he's Superman, what does he need a plane for?" "All right, all right." "Oh, I've already told Little Ricky and all the other children." "Well, honey, I'm sorry, but you shouldn't cross your bridges before they're hatched." "What?" "You shouldn't burn your chickens behind you." "Oh, you know what I mean." "You shouldn't tell people anything until you're sure." "Oh." "Well, I was so certain you'd get him." "I tried, honey, but I can't, so don't worry about it." "Little Ricky will have a very nice party anyway." "Oh, I hope so." "All right, dear, good-bye." "Good-bye, dear." "Oh, dear." "Gee, that's a shame, Lucy." "What are you going to do now?" "I don't know." "If I can't produce Superman, my name will be Supermud." "Well, knowing you, I'm surprised you don't dress up like Superman and play the part yourself." "Oh, Ethel, I could never get away with a silly thing like that." "I'll say you couldn't." "Although... maybe I could find some ballet tights and make some sort of a cape, and then run around the room like crazy and they wouldn't know the difference." "Are you serious?" "I don't want to disappoint those kids." "Now, look, here's what we'll do." "Sometime during the party, you rush over to the window, look up into the sky and announce my arrival." "You mean like this?" "Kids, guess who's here?" "It's Sup..." "The window?" "Oh, now, you're not gonna fly in here?" "!" "Well, not exactly." "Uh, during the party, I'll slip away and I'll go to the vacant apartment next door." "I'll go out the window and walk along the ledge." "The ledge?" "Honey, that's three stories high!" "You might break your neck." "Well, I'd rather break my neck than break my promise to Little Ricky." "Oh, gee, Lucy, I don't know." "Isn't there some other way Superman comes into a room?" "Well, sometimes he comes bursting through a wall, but you know how Fred would feel about that." "Yep, you'd better fly in." "Yeah." "It's Terry's turn." "Having fun?" "Oh, they're having a great time, honey." "Say, Lucy, Stevie's been asking me when Superman's coming." "When is he coming, dear?" "Oh, I have a feeling he'll be along any minute." "Okay, here we go." "There you go." "There you go." "He came pretty close." "Lucy, I still say the helmet's wrong." "Superman doesn't wear a helmet." "He would if he wanted to cover his long, red hair." "I'm just afraid you won't be able to fool the kids, that's all." "Well, let's hope they're so logy with ice cream and cake, they won't know the difference." "Yeah, let's hope so." "Now, look, wait ten minutes, and then give signal." "Yeah, I will." "You didn't tell Fred, did you?" "Oh, of course not." "Good." "Hey, what'll I tell Ricky if he comes home before you come in?" "Oh, just tell him anything." "Anything?" "Anything but the truth." "Oh." "Good luck." "All right." "Now, Lucy, be careful." "I will." "London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down" "London bridge is falling down, my fair lady." "Ha, ha, ha!" "Let's lock him up, lock him up, lock him up..." "Yes?" "How do you do?" "Oh, look, Martha, a party!" "Oh, is the landlord here?" "We saw the note on his door." "We'd like to look at the apartment." "that's for rent." "Oh, well, he's busy just now." "You'll have to come back tomorrow." "Those folks want to see the apartment?" "Yes, but I'll show it to them." "You're having so much fun." "Right over here." "Right over here." "London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down..." "Shoosh, shoosh." "Shoosh!" "Shoosh!" "Go deliver your messages." "Uh, just a minute." "Uh, here it is." "Oh, nice." "Well, now, uh, now then you just, uh, look around and I'll be right next door." "Well, we'd like to ask you a few questions." "Oh, you would?" "Yes." "Would you redecorate if we signed a lease?" "Well, uh, yes, I think we-we could do that." "Uh-huh, yes." "Oh, all right, why don't you go to Central Park?" "There's a million statues over there." "Oh, come on, fellas." "Everybody off." "Ah, you big sissy." "Oh, why don't you get off and walk?" "I wish I knew some pigeon English." "My turn!" "My turn!" "Catch him." "My turn!" "My turn!" "Go get him!" "Hurry up." "Hi, kids!" "Hi, Rick." "Having a good time?" "Want to get into that game?" "Yeah, listen, where's Lucy?" "Isn't she in the kitchen?" "No, but guess who is." "Who?" "Superman!" "Superman!" "Well, you know, when he heard that it was a birthday party, he didn't want to disappoint the kids." "Isn't that great?" "Yeah." "You don't..." "Where, where'd she go?" "Ethel said she went out for some more ice cream, and she hasn't come back yet." "Oh, dear." "I wanted her to be here, for the surprise, but I can't keep him too long." "I know it." "Well, we'll have to do it." "All right, children, I got a wonderful surprise for you." "Now if you all line up there and close your eyes." "You're gonna get your wish, young man." "Just close your eyes." "Right there, honey." "Close your eyes." "Don't look now." "Now when I tell you to look, you look." "You're gonna see your favorite television star." "Look" " Superman!" "How about that?" "And happy birthday, Little Ricky." "Which one of you is Ricky?" "That's me." "That's him right there." "How are you, sweetie?" "Happy birthday." "How about that, huh?" "Any of you fellows want to wrestle?" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "We're not needed here." "Come on, scoot, go home, go home, go home." "Heard any good stories lately?" "I'm sorry, but I really have to get back to the party." "Oh, we just love the apartment." "But I'm not sure my wife ought to be up so high." "Yes, you see, I get dizzy spells." "Oh." "Well, you make up your mind, and then you let me know." "Shoosh, scoot, scat, scoot, scat." "There's good light." "There's plenty of closet space here." "Martha, what is it?" "Out there." "I just saw something strange." "Something strange?" "Three flights up?" "Was it a bird?" "No." "Was it a plane?" "No." "Well, what was it, dear?" "It was Superman!" "There, there, Martha." "Oh, come, come, come, Martha." "Oh..." "We'll look for some basement apartments." "These heights make you dizzier than I thought." "Oh, it's raining in." "I'll close the window for Mrs. Mertz." "Ooh!" "There." "Now, come on, we'll go home so you can lie down, honey." "That's it." "Shoosh." "Oh!" "Bye-bye, Superman." "Bye, kids" "Bye." "Bye." "We're glad you had a good time." "Good-bye, Stevie." "Bye, now." "Glad you had a good time." "Well, Superman, that was a wonderful thing you did." "Oh, Ricky, it was my pleasure." "I'm only sorry I didn't get to meet Lucy." "I've heard so much about her." "Yeah, well, I don't know." "Where is Lucy, Ethel?" "Oh, she'll be here in a minute." "She's out on the ledge." "Oh." "Out on the ledge?" "!" "Out here?" "Yes..." "What's she doing out there?" "Lucy!" "Oh, my goodness." "Lucy, are you all right?" "I'm caught!" "Wait... don't move, honey!" "I'll come and get you right away." "Wait a minute." "Oh..." "No, Daddy, let Superman do it." "All right." "Come on." "Allow me?" "Yes, please." "Oh, boy!" "Ah!" "How do you do?" "My name is Superman." "Oh, boy, am I glad to see you." "Tell me, when you're flying around, do you have cape trouble?" "No, but then I've had a lot more flying time than you have." "Oh." "Lucy, what are you doing out there?" "!" "Oh, I'm fixing the drainpipe." "It was a little loose." "Are you crazy?" "What are you doing in that outfit?" "Well, uh..." "There you are." "Come in here!" "I want an explanation." "Okay." "Come on in here right now!" "Can you teach me to fly?" "Uh..." "Lucy, of all the crazy things that you've done in the 15 years that we've been married..." "Ricardo, do you mean to say that you've been married to her for 15 years?" "Yeah, 15 years." "And they call me Superman."