""[rock music plays]"" ""♪ They say music is the food of love ♪"" ""♪ Let's see if you are hungry enough ♪"" ""♪ Take a bite, take another ♪"" ""♪ Just like a good boy would ♪"" ""♪ Get a sweet thing on the side ♪"" ""♪ Home cooking, homicide ♪"" ""♪ Side order Could be your daughter ♪"" ""♪ Finger-licking good ♪"" ""♪ Come on baby, eat the rich ♪"" ""♪ Put the bite on the son of a bitch ♪"" ""♪ Don't mess up Don't you give me no switch ♪"" ""♪ Come on baby and eat the rich ♪"" ""♪ C'mon baby and eat the rich ♪"" ""♪ Sittin' here in a hired tuxedo ♪"" ""♪ You wanna see my bacon torpedo ♪"" ""Mm..."" ""[blows raspberry]"" ""[moaning]"" ""Hm..."" ""Mm..."" ""[blows raspberry]"" ""[moaning]"" ""[man yells] Their nipples were must too small!"" ""[laughter]"" ""Anyway, I got the two Scottish castles,"" ""I've got the Greek island, and I've got 15 Maseratis,"" ""all classics, of course." "So I suppose you could say I'm stinking rich."" ""[laughs]"" ""Excuse me." "The baby panda, is it fried in honey?"" ""Of course, ma'am."" ""[moaning, muttering]"" ""[man moaning]"" ""[laughter]"" ""[man] Oh, no."" ""[man] Very good." "I mean, where else can you eat"" ""for 200 pounds a head?"" ""You're very beautiful."" ""[man] There you go."" ""Tasty bit of service, that."" ""[man moaning]"" ""Come on, fatty, hurry up."" ""I'm awfully sorry."" ""Told you it was good." "Anyway, we're in a bad lunch."" ""Look, Derek, forget funk rap." "It's dead."" ""The kids are getting hooked on socialism."" ""[shouting]"" ""And Terry's got it real bad next year."" ""OK." "Let's sack the blacks and sign the reds."" ""[laughter]"" ""[shouting]"" ""Oi!" "Where's my fucking tip?" "!"" ""Excuse me."" ""Out of the way, please." "Come on." "Move."" ""Out of the way."" ""Excuse me." "Out of the way, please." "Come on."" ""Move." "Move it, cow."" ""Move."" ""[laughter]"" ""Bastard!"" ""Be more polite to the customers, Alex, or you're fired."" ""Shut your face."" ""I'm gonna give you one more chance."" ""I want to tell you that we're all pretty tired of your attitude."" ""I mean, why can't you be more like Mark?"" ""He is aggressive, yes."" ""But at least he's mysterious about it."" ""[man singing] ♪ I was born to rock and roll ♪"" ""♪ I was built ♪"" ""♪ For speed ♪"" ""♪ La la la ♪"" ""♪ La la la la ♪"" ""♪ La la la ♪"" ""♪ La la ♪"" ""[humming]"" ""Oh, Janice."" ""Yes, Commander Fortune?"" ""If the CIA calls,"" ""just say I've popped out to..."" ""buy some socks."" ""Very well, Commander Fortune."" ""Have you seen who's on table eight?"" ""Who?" "John Steenbeck." "The movie director."" ""Not the John Steenbeck, who made Interesting Teenagers?"" ""That, over there." "The good-looking one."" ""My name's Steenbeck." "John Steenbeck."" ""I'm casting a major motion picture in this country."" ""We're looking for someone to play the part of the good-looking young psychopath."" ""I hear you're an actor, is that right?"" ""Uh... what do you mean, actor?"" ""Somebody who walks and talks the way I want." "Then I photograph them."" ""Well, uh, I walk and I talk"" ""any damn way I choose."" ""Excuse me." "Are you ready to order?"" ""What I really find most interesting is he's got that sort of face"" ""where you're not quite sure what he's gonna do next."" ""It's most unnerving." "Oh, he's wonderful!"" ""Listen, honey." "If you're looking for new, young, violent faces in the cinema,"" ""then I think you'd better look at mine because I'm up to here in social grievances."" ""Look, love, I'm sorry, but you're just not what we're looking for."" ""Oh, no!" "This is the man we're interested in!" "This one is the pits!"" ""Oh, but I can be ever so unnerving." "Look!"" ""You've carried yourself once too often, Alex."" ""You're fired!" "[all shouting]"" ""Bye!"" ""[chuckles]"" ""Phase four."" ""It's all good stuff."" ""Suicide mission, is it?" "Yes."" ""So I, um, shan't be seeing you again then."" ""No."" ""All right."" ""Yes." "I've got no money, and nowhere to live."" ""But at least I've still got all my friends."" ""Oh, really?"" ""Well, couldn't I sleep in that little cupboard under the stairs?"" ""Oh, really?" "Yes, well, I've always hated you too."" ""Drop dead, fuckface!"" ""Gerry!"" ""We're gonna check out the scene here."" ""Stick around." "Gerry!" "Hey, Gerry!" "My best friend!"" ""[panting] Hi, Alex."" ""Can I come in with you?" "What's the matter?" "You broke?"" ""Oh, yeah." "I lost my job and got no money"" ""and I'm totally homeless."" ""Shit." "What a drag."" ""Yeah." "Well, it's really nice to see you, Alex."" ""Hey, Alex." "Yeah?"" ""You wanna get indoors." "You'll get soaked out here."" ""[laughs]"" ""[sobbing]"" ""They're on their way."" ""[man on radio] Good evening." "This is the BBC."" ""Now a political broadcast from the new Home Secretary, Nosher Powell MP."" ""Oi!" "Sh!" "He's on!"" ""Evening, voters." "[shouting]"" ""Some people in this country are very, very rich."" ""[crowd murmuring]" " But most of you are very, very poor."" ""[murmuring] You know why?" "!"" ""Because you're all lazy vultures!"" ""[murmuring]" " Yeah!" "Your country needs money!"" ""And you can't get enough money!"" ""So I tell you what we're gonna do!"" ""We're gonna close more hospitals"" ""and we're gonna build more rockets!"" ""[shouting] Boo!"" ""[shouting]"" ""Excuse me." "Could you spare us a bit of your paper to sleep under?"" ""No, fuck off!"" ""Oh, go on." "Just the sports page."" ""[sighs] All right."" ""[footsteps]"" ""Excuse me, we're from Ethiopia." "Got price of a cup of tea?"" ""Take this, commoners." "We oppressed should stick together."" ""[officer] Stand back." "Stand back."" ""[indistinct chatter]"" ""[man speaking over PA]"" ""[indistinct police radio chatter]"" ""It's now exactly two hours and 40 minutes since the police sealed off this street"" ""which leads to the embassy."" ""And we've just heard that the Home Secretary himself is on his way to supervise the siege."" ""[guns cocking]"" ""We are not your enemy!"" ""We have suffered too long!"" ""All we want is just our freedom and rights in our own country!"" ""Yeah!" "Rise up and kill your oppressor!"" ""Freedom of the oppressed!" "Yeah, yeah, yeah!"" ""[horn honking]"" ""[man] Oi, Sambo, move out the way!"" ""What's going on here?" " I'm afraid it's something of a waiting game,"" ""Home Secretary." "Don't give me that bollocks."" ""Oi!" "Sinbad!" "You see that?"" ""I'll put that..." "soon as you come down!"" ""[gunfire] [screaming]"" ""Here, hold that." "I'm going in."" ""[rock music plays] [cheering]"" ""Excuse me." "Oh, it's all right." "I'm with him."" ""Oh, of course." "Sorry."" ""Nosh!"" ""Nosh!"" ""Nosh!" "Nosh!"" ""♪ You know the rules You all know the game ♪"" ""♪ Try to do what's right ♪"" ""♪ And I swear I can't complain ♪"" ""Nosh!" "♪ If I die tonight ♪"" ""♪ But I don't think it's in the stars ♪ Nosh!"" ""Nosh!" "What?"" ""Look!" "[Laughs]"" ""Go on, then!" "Jump!"" ""Who's storming this place?" "You or me?"" ""Well, keep your mouth shut!" "Right!"" ""History." "Who stormed the Iranian Embassy in 1984?"" ""[laughter] [cheering]"" ""[shouting]"" ""[grunting]"" ""Oh!"" ""♪ See me running all around the world ♪"" ""♪ Trying to make some time ♪ [knocking]"" ""[cheering]"" ""Back and forth!"" ""You don't mean the Israeli ambassador, surely?"" ""Come out!"" ""Both of you!"" ""Now, what's it all about?" "He started it."" ""Shut up!" "You!" "They took our country!"" ""It was ours first." "No, it wasn't."" ""Was." "Wasn't!"" ""Shut up!"" ""Now, I don't care whose fault it is."" ""I just don't want no more interruptions, got it?"" ""Now, you give him back his country."" ""And you, smart yourself out."" ""[man] Well, he's done it." "It's absolutely incredible."" ""Single-handedly, this man has tackled the Middle East crisis head on."" ""They said it couldn't be done, and he's done it."" ""I don't think we need to wait for the public opinion polls to know that"" ""today's piece of work won't bring any harm at all for the next election."" ""[cheering] Fascist bully!"" ""[chanting] Nosher!" "Nosher!"" ""Got some nice NATO stuff this time."" ""How's that?"" ""Oh, very good."" ""Yes."" ""Yes, well done, Spider."" ""Now then, what are we going to do"" ""about the Home Secretary?"" ""Yeah."" ""Who'd have thought the shriveled up bastard would have got that lucky?"" ""You realize that Cockney fascist could ruin all our plans if he wins the election."" ""Yeah."" ""Are we gonna chop him, then?"" ""Couldn't we put out a rumor he's gay?"" ""[clears throat]"" ""Do you speak English?"" ""Yes, and I can tie my own shoelaces too."" ""Were you born in this country?"" ""Look, you're not writing my life story, honey."" ""Just give me a nice state handout and I'll be on my way."" ""What's your address?" "Look, I've told you, I'm homeless."" ""Well, then, we've nowhere to send your gyro, have we?"" ""Yeah, that's right." "So why don't you just give it to me right now?"" ""Look, I haven't eaten for two days."" ""I could pass out at any moment, right here."" ""Right now!" "[laughs]"" ""You pass out where you like." "But you're not getting any money"" ""until I'm satisfied that you're not an unnecessary burden on the state."" ""Listen, you snotty bitch!" "Your job is to help the poor and needy!"" ""Not torment them!" "[snickers] You're so stupid."" ""Just for that, I'm gonna lose your file."" ""Ooh!" "[Laughs]"" ""Oh!"" ""[man sobs] You've got to help me."" ""I'm a broken man." "I know I'm a lazy bastard and I've got no self respect."" ""But please give me my money!" "Uhuh-uh!"" ""You'll only gamble it, won't you?"" ""I'm gonna put the money in this drawer until you kick the habit."" ""Listen, honey, you better give us that money,"" ""or you're in big trouble." "[laughs] Really?"" ""And what sort of trouble would that be then?"" ""This."" ""[screaming] Oh, my God!"" ""Somebody call the police!"" ""Get the money!"" ""[rock music plays]"" ""I didn't wanna kill them!"" ""They did it!" "They made me do it!"" ""I'm sorry, but it's not our fault!"" ""Quick, Ron, get that car before I run out of bullets."" ""You'd do the same if you had had the guts!"" ""We're just ordinary people who've been pushed too far!"" ""Get that car!"" ""I'm a reporter!" "What's your story?"" ""Me and him took the law into our own hands."" ""My God, violence on the dole's going to front cover!"" ""Who are you?" "We're the dispossessed."" ""Quick pose." "Nice one for the kids, nice one with the gun."" ""Thanks, super, lovely."" ""[siren blaring]"" ""♪ Watch out, watch out ♪"" ""♪ Just what you need, babe ♪"" ""[honks horn]"" ""[indistinct radio chatter]"" ""[dogs barking]"" ""[panting] Isn't it funny how a few seconds with a gun can change our lives?"" ""[upbeat music plays] [laughter]"" ""This is Paulo." "He's in chemicals."" ""Have you met the Bishop of Suffolk?"" ""Please." "How do you do?"" ""Very nice to meet you." "Prince Antony,"" ""Miss Fifi Letour."" ""[woman] Oh, my!" "I'm glad you're here."" ""Is the Prime Minister with you?"" ""[woman 2] No, he's in Sheffield."" ""[woman] What a shame." "[man] Mr. and Mrs..."" ""Lady Caroline, this is Ricky James."" ""He is trade union leader."" ""[laughing] Nice tits."" ""Shame about the title." "Let's dance."" ""Big tits. [Laughs]"" ""You seem a little lonely, comrade."" ""Oh." "Who am I going to introduce you?"" ""Oh, it's all right, love."" ""I'm only here to debrief somebody."" ""No, come on." "Come on, you can't be a wallflower."" ""This is Fiona."" ""She collects stamps."" ""[music plays]" " I didn't know you were a trade union leader!"" ""Uh-huh." "Make you dream." "I know 'cause I've seen you on the TV."" ""But you look much younger in real life."" ""Really?" "You're not bad looking yourself."" ""Is it true you're to be in the news on Monday?" " Uh-huh."" ""Gonna be absolute chaos." "You bet."" ""[laughing]"" ""[chuckles]" " Give me some, will you, Spider?"" ""I ain't touched the bass in months, mate."" ""Neither has he."" ""Christ, all right then."" ""[music stops] [feedback]"" """Dr. Rock." One, two, three!"" ""[playing rock music] ♪ All right, all right ♪"" ""♪ I hope you sons of bitches see the light ♪"" ""♪ You again, you again ♪"" ""♪ I know you've got a mental age of ten ♪"" ""♪ Listen up, listen up ♪"" ""♪ I wouldn't swap you for a thousand bucks ♪"" ""♪ Come on, you're the one ♪"" ""♪ I think I'm going to switch your laser on ♪"" ""♪ I've got the medicine you need ♪"" ""♪ I've got the power I've got the speed ♪"" ""♪ I'll find out how to stop your clock ♪"" ""♪ We sure ain't talking Dr. Spock ♪"" ""♪ Hear me talking, Dr. Rock ♪"" ""♪ Lay down, turn around ♪"" ""♪ Here come the sister Gonna strip you down ♪"" ""Cheers."" ""Here." "I had another call from Moscow this evening."" ""And are my cruel paymasters happy?"" ""Well, they wanna know how it's going with, um,"" ""phase four?" " Comrade, there may be just one small problem."" ""What's that then?"" ""[sighs]" " Shall I wait here, Home Secretary?"" ""[woman] Thank you, Clarence." "[can rattles]"" ""And don't drink too much, will you, Nosh?"" ""Bollocks." "Oh..."" ""[man] The right honorable Mr. and Mrs. Nosher Powell."" ""So you are the new Home Secretary?"" ""I don't know why they call me that." "I can't even type."" ""[laughs]"" ""And you must be Mrs. Powell." "Yes."" ""Is the PM and his wife here?" "My class of friends."" ""His wife is just over there." "[chuckles]"" ""Oh, excuse me."" ""Home Secretary, do let me introduce you to Comrade Karpov of the KGB."" ""Ah, Mr. Home Secretary!" "I bring you fraternal greetings"" ""from the peace-loving people of the Soviet Union."" ""Is he taking the piss or what?" "[laughs]"" ""Can I have a picture of the two of you together, Nosh?"" ""Oh, go on then." "Come here."" ""[man] Just a bit closer." "How about a wacky one"" ""for the kids, please, Nosh?" "Here."" ""The only good Russian's a dead one, eh?" "[Laughs]"" ""One more, please."" ""It must be nice being married to the Prime Minister."" ""Gorgeous." "No other word for it."" ""Tell me, how are you getting on at Number Ten?"" ""Because your house isn't quite as big as ours, is it?"" ""Yes, but at least my Harry is the most powerful man in the country."" ""I can assure you, that we just adore our wonderful perks that go with it."" ""Really?" "Well, I think I'd just be bored to death"" ""if I were married to a short, chinless, stuck-up figurehead like him."" ""[chuckles] Yes." "But that's where we're different, you see."" ""I think I'd simply hate it if my Harry"" ""was just a member of the Cabinet, like, um..."" ""[rock music plays] ♪ Hear me talking ♪"" ""♪ Dr. Rock ♪"" ""[song ends]"" ""Now what's all this about you putting railways out on strike?"" ""Nothing." "It was a joke."" ""If one train stops running,"" ""you'll get that right on your mush."" ""No, don't hit me, Home Secretary." "We won't go on strike, I promise."" ""Good." "[farts]"" ""[grunts]"" ""And don't you ever threaten me again." "I'm sorry."" ""[man] I didn't know you could play bass like that."" ""Not a mystery to me, mate."" ""Do you see that?"" ""Could hardly miss it, could you, governor?"" ""I was afraid that might happen."" ""Yeah." "Still,"" ""you could always try plan B."" ""[woman] Hello."" ""Hello."" ""I like your bracelets."" ""See that?"" ""It's three grams worth of gold." "Good, isn't it?"" ""Wow!" "Who are you?"" ""Home Sec." "Is that flash or what?"" ""Very."" ""You powerful?" "Very."" ""Um..."" ""You don't wanna come back to the limo with me, do you,"" ""and have a little flash or something?"" ""[Ron] Oh, my leg." "My poor, bloody leg."" ""[Alex] Let me have a look at it."" ""Am I gonna bleed to death?"" ""Tell me, Alex."" ""It's just a flesh wound."" ""Oh!" "Oh, God!" "What are we gonna do?"" ""Well, we can give in." "or we can fight."" ""Fight?" "Don't be daft." "There's only the two of us."" ""You're wrong." "There's millions like us, Ron."" ""With no hope, no future..."" ""[cow moos]"" ""All it takes is one man with a dream."" ""Look at..." "Castro."" ""[Ron] Oh, I don't know."" ""Look, we got a few quid."" ""Why don't we just slip off to Brazil?"" ""You know, start a mini cab business?"" ""Ron, we can run, but we can't hide."" ""We're fucked then, aren't we?" "Oh, shit."" ""Well, we've all got to die sometime."" ""So why not take a few of the bastards with us."" ""Nice car." "Yes."" ""Goes with the job." "Park anywhere I like."" ""Don't get a parking ticket."" ""Good, isn't it?"" ""How did you get to be Home Secretary?"" ""Ah!" "What you don't know don't hurt you."" ""[giggles] [laughs]"" ""You've got a lovely body."" ""Help yourself."" ""Whoa!" "What's it?" "Home Sec, naughty nibble, eh Nosh?"" ""Kinky Nosh has naughty nibble late at night?"" ""[all chattering]"" ""What's the girl's age, Nosh?"" ""[chuckles]"" ""[clears throat]"" ""[gasps]"" ""[laughs]"" ""[door opens]"" ""Oh, my fucking head!"" ""Jellied eels, Home Secretary?" "Leave me alone."" ""And who were you rogering last night?"" ""I don't know." "I was too pissed to remember."" ""Well, you'll never make Prime Minister if you can't hold your drink."" ""Look."" ""I can get heart disease just by being Home Sec." "Right?"" ""Well, it's making me drink to excess."" ""People keep looking at me in supermarkets and saying,"" """He's just Home Secretary, you know.""" ""How do you think I feel?"" ""We used to be happy before I made it big in politics."" ""Well, it's not good enough, Nosh." "I want more power and more influence"" ""and I want it now!" "Gimme, gimme, gimme!"" ""More, more, more!" "Pfft!"" ""Don't take any notice of him." "He's still drunk."" ""Look!" "All I wanna do is to win the election"" ""and hold onto all these perks!"" ""Including the flash motor out there!"" ""[crowd yelling] Oh!"" ""[chanting] Nosher!"" ""[man] Who's the girl?" "Just a little bit on the side."" ""Did she come, Nosh?" "You'll have to ask her that."" ""Are you a mad pussy hound?" " Well, I did what any other man would do with a slut"" ""that waved her bits underneath me. [Laughs]"" ""[chanting] Nosher!" "Nosher!"" ""[Spider] "Siege hero Nosher Powell has done it again."" ""At long last, Britain has a politician who's proved that he is no slouch"" ""when it comes to giving the housewife a good pushing."" ""We say Britain needs you." "Keep it up, Nosh!""" ""Exclamation mark, exclamation mark."" ""Oh, my God." " That went down like a concrete parachute, didn't it?"" ""We've got to do something, Spider." "Moscow is getting impatient."" ""[crowd chanting]" " Couldn't we sort of have him killed?"" ""[laughs] Yeah." "How?"" ""I don't know."" ""What about one of those, uh,"" ""poison dart things in the shoe?"" ""You know, sort of kick him under the table when he's not looking."" ""Oi!" "What's this all about?"" ""I'm afraid it's more inner-city frustration, Home Secretary."" ""Don't give me all that old Tom tit."" ""Any more dole queue rumbles like this and it could lose me the election."" ""Oh, that would be a pity." "What's being done about it?"" ""I'll look into that immediately, Home Secretary."" ""Good. 'Cause when they find them, you know what I'll do?"" ""I'll put that right on their chin."" ""[Alex] We strike first at the monetary system, you know, profits and loss."" ""If we destroy that, then there's no profit, no loss."" ""So, what we doing out here in the middle of nowhere?"" ""We've got to find some recruits."" ""So why has it gotta be in the country?" "Why can't we do that in the West End?"" ""Look!" "We don't want all those Kings Road posers!"" ""They're everything we hate!" "Ah, we hate them."" ""Yes!" " Tell me, what other London streets do we hate?"" ""Look, for heaven's sake, haven't you read Karl Marx?"" ""Is it them?" "Yeah, I think so."" ""All I wanna know is what's got me in the horrible, dirty, bleeding country!"" ""[singing in distance]"" ""♪ As we stand outside ♪"" ""♪ But I love them most of all ♪"" ""♪ Sleeping by my side ♪"" ""[humming]"" ""[chickens clucking] [whistling]"" ""♪ I love my sheep and pigs ♪"" ""[singing stops]"" ""Hi." "We're starting a people's uprising." "Do you fancy joining us?"" ""Yes, I'd love to." "Come on, then."" ""So it begins." "[horse whinnies]"" ""[rock music plays]"" ""♪ I am the one, Orgasmatron ♪"" ""♪ The outstretched grasping hand ♪"" ""♪ My image is of agony ♪"" ""♪ My servants rape the land ♪"" ""♪ Obsequious and arrogant ♪"" ""♪ Clandestine and vain ♪"" ""♪ Two thousand years of misery ♪"" ""♪ Of torture in my name ♪"" ""[cheering]"" ""♪ Oh my love is hate ♪"" ""♪ I am the politician ♪"" ""♪ And I decide your fate ♪"" ""[cheering]"" ""[tires screeching]"" ""I said, mind my fucking horse, dickhead!"" ""Yeah!" "Yeah, well, when the revolution comes,"" ""we'll be round your house." " I've never heard anything like it in my life!"" ""How dare you!"" ""This'll be really good for me." "Me and some mates have been meaning for years"" ""to get into armed rebellion." "But you know how it is, you get in the pub,"" ""start talking treason, and all they wanna do is play darts."" ""Hm..."" ""Have you got these in a size smaller?"" ""No, I'm afraid not."" ""They're extremely popular, you know."" ""You're not gonna fight the revolution wearing those, I hope."" ""[muffled shouting]" " Sorry, mate." "It's government business."" ""Bit top-secret."" ""What do you think, Jimmy?" "They're not too baggy around here, are they?"" ""No, I think with a few grenades on your belt, that'll look fine."" ""Oh, sorry." "So, what are we gonna hit first?" "An embassy?" "The BBC?"" ""[Alex] Well, we hadn't really thought about it."" ""Three pairs of cotton underpants,"" ""and a pair of those black leather stranglers' gloves."" ""Oh, and this." "I mean, let's face it."" ""A lot of the favorites have been done." "You know, banks, multi-nationals."" ""So what you're looking for is a new kind of atrocity."" ""Are these pre-shrunk?" "Oh, yes, of course."" ""What's that you've got there?" "Pluto."" ""Eh?" " I thought it might come in handy for all those long"" ""boring bits between the shooting." "[siren wailing]"" ""[tires screech] This way, gents."" ""[man] Open up, it's the police." "Anyone in there?"" ""Family crisis." "Oh."" ""Travel by night."" ""Trust nobody." "OK."" ""And Alex, grind the face"" ""of capitalism into the dust, won't you?"" ""Why, what's it to you, stranger?"" ""It's a long story."" ""A long and painful story."" ""[glass shatters]"" ""It all started when I was at Oxbridge."" ""[banging] I was 19."" ""There were five of us."" ""[sobbing]"" ""[Ron] Everything all right, love?"" ""[sobbing]"" ""I'm pregnant!"" ""That Tory bastard got me pregnant."" ""[sobbing] No money."" ""No future!"" ""Oh, God!" "All I want to do is bring down the government!"" ""Destroy the system!"" ""That's all I ask. [Sobbing]"" ""Lovely, isn't it?"" ""Do you know this is one of the last cars to have a wooden dashboard?"" ""There aren't many of these around now, you know."" ""Is it a V6 or a four?" "It's a V6, I think."" ""Hm..." "What do you get on a long run?"" ""Twenty, 25?" "Yes."" ""Providing I don't go flat-out."" ""That's not bad." "It's in lovely condition."" ""You must be very proud of it."" ""Yes." "I am."" ""You know, I took my wife on our honeymoon in one of these."" ""[laughs] Honeymoon."" ""I took her to this hotel, all right,"" ""once you got through the barbed wire."" ""And we went upstairs on the lift, the old lift driver, he said to me,"" """Did I stop too fast?" I said, "No, we always wear our trousers around our ankles.""" ""[laughs] We jumped into bed,"" ""took our clothes off, do you know what she said to me?"" ""She said, "That's the biggest John Thomas I've ever seen in my life," she said."" ""She said, "Do you realize I have a weak heart?""" ""I said, "Turn on your side." "I'll try and miss it.""" ""[laughs]"" ""She said, "Aren't you a bit old to be wearing condoms?""" ""I said, "I suppose I am, but I like the smell of burning rubber.""" ""[laughs] Took her home after a week, she was pregnant."" ""We had a baby." "Ugly little thing, he was."" ""Do you know, I took him over to the pub, I said, "Landlord, could you put a head on that?""" ""[laughs] [sobbing]"" ""Only joking, love."" ""Here, have a toffee."" ""[man yelling]"" ""[speaking German]"" ""[Nosh slurping beer]"" ""[speaking German]"" ""Here!"" ""Have a look at this."" ""[laughs] Good, isn't it?"" ""[slurping]"" ""Ah!" "[Belches]"" ""Nosh!" "What?"" ""Sh!" "What do you mean, shush?"" ""Look at him!"" ""Here, put a sock in it, you boring old kraut."" ""[laughs] Pre-election stress, you know."" ""♪ So stupid ♪"" ""♪ Why was he born at all?" "♪"" ""[laughter] Excuse me, Home Secretary."" ""Would you mind keeping your voice down, please?"" ""What was that, pillock?" "Nosh!"" ""Oh, my God." "[woman screams]"" ""[all shouting]"" ""Tomato sauce?" "Thank you, ma'am."" ""It's by appointment. [Laughs]"" ""[all shouting]"" ""I'm with the group."" ""[all shouting]"" ""Fabulous party, it is."" ""Sorry about the broken china, though."" ""Oh, you naughty!" "[Laughs]"" ""[laughing]"" ""[muttering] Lovely."" ""None of that. [Laughs]"" ""[laughs] ♪ Why was he born so stupid?" "♪"" ""♪ Why was he born at all?" "♪"" ""♪ Why was he born so stupid?" "♪"" ""♪ Why was he born at all?" "♪"" ""♪ Why was he born so stupid?" "♪"" ""♪ Why was he born at all?" "♪"" ""Hello, Sandra." "Give us a kiss."" ""Cor!" "What's all that about?"" ""I can't take it anymore." "I'm leaving you."" ""What are you talking about?" "I'm not blind."" ""I saw you trying to get off with the queen."" ""You've been drinking."" ""Oh, don't come that old innocence with me."" ""Look, all I was doing was having a little bit of fun."" ""You humiliated me!" "In front of all those people!"" ""[sobbing] Oh, God!" " Don't start the old waterworks game again."" ""Look, Nosh, I don't mind the odd call girl,"" ""but this is well out of order!"" ""I want a divorce!" "And she, she's gonna be cited!"" ""[screams] Taxi!" "Taxi!"" ""[birds chirping]"" ""[rock music plays]"" ""[Alex] Week 12." "The revolution begins."" ""At last we are ready to face the long and dangerous road ahead."" ""I wish Ron would let me sit in the front."" ""[rock music plays]"" ""[Alex] Each day, dear diary,"" ""I feel the inevitable bloodbath draw closer."" ""These thoughts of death I try to keep within."" ""Though, deep down, I know the end will be both violent and painful."" ""[rock music plays]"" ""♪ You know the rules You all know the game ♪"" ""♪ Try to do what's right ♪"" ""[Alex] Please God, they don't shoot me in the face."" ""I couldn't bear that."" ""♪ If I die tonight ♪"" ""♪ And I'm on the road ♪"" ""♪ On the road ♪"" ""♪ On the road ♪"" ""♪ On the road ♪"" ""Excuse me." "Have you got any of those bandages that, you know,"" ""hold your guts in until you get to a hospital?"" ""Hello, laddie."" ""You don't want no trouble in here, do you?"" ""No, Mr. Powell." "You better give me 50 quid then."" ""Want a drink?" "No, thank you."" ""Come on." "Come and have a drink with me."" ""[sighs]"" ""[grunting]"" ""You rang, madam." "Oh, yes, Terence."" ""Would you take a letter, please?"" ""[grunting] [chuckles]"" ""Hm..."" ""Your Majesty..." "No, no cross that out."" ""Bitch!"" ""Just 'cause you're a queen,"" ""does not mean that you can fool around"" ""with another woman's bloke."" ""[chuckles] Hm..."" ""Here, can I talk to you?"" ""Cheers."" ""It's about Sandra."" ""I love that girl."" ""It's a funny thing, but..."" ""before..."" ""everyone mowed at her."" ""If they all married her..."" ""She was like a little clam."" ""Shut tight."" ""She's never fucking opened since."" ""Here."" ""Come here."" ""You ever had a son?" "Yes, Mr. Powell."" ""It's all I ever wanted, a son."" ""Little baby boy that I could teach."" ""Round the..."" ""Down the..." "you know what I mean?"" ""It's all I ever wanted." "[sobs]"" ""That's all I ever wanted."" ""[sniffles]"" ""[Alex] Well, of one thing I am certain."" ""Jimmy, Ron, Fiona,"" ""and Alex will not die in vain."" ""For as long as the flames of justice burn,"" ""and the winds of freedom blow,"" ""we will not be forgotten."" ""And yes, David, we were heroes,"" ""just for one day."" ""[indistinct chatter]"" ""[man] All these pathetic little orphans came to the door the other day"" ""and said, "I've got nothing." I said, "Of course you've got nothing!" [shouts]"" ""[laughs]"" ""Hello, Bastards?"" ""No, I'm afraid we're fully booked into the present."" ""It was about two years ago when I went through this awful, ashamed-to-be-rich stage."" ""You know." "I think we all felt like that."" ""I didn't." " Of course Tim's pissed away billions in the last 12 months."" ""And he's such a rotten card player."" ""That's how he lost Berkshire." "[laughter]"" ""[playing soft music on piano]"" ""Oh come on, Dickie, do jazz it up a bit."" ""Jeremy!" "Oh, shut up!" "It's my birthday."" ""♪ It's my birthday, I love singing in my white suit ♪"" ""♪ Sing along ♪"" ""♪ Oh, fuck me ♪"" ""[indistinct chatter]"" ""Two koalas, sliced."" ""Two koalas."" ""Uh-huh." "Uh-huh, yeah."" ""Yeah." "Well, you know, it's just that I'm perfect casting."" ""And everybody knows it." "Uh-huh." "Yeah."" ""Yeah." "What?" "Well, it's..." "it's just not easy"" ""when you're as good-looking as I am."" ""[singing indistinctly]"" ""[man continues singing]"" ""I'm thinking about the main course."" ""Uh-huh."" ""I hear you're leaving us to become a film star."" ""Yeah." "Yeah, that's right."" ""You're gonna have to pay to see me from now on."" ""[chuckles]"" ""What's the film?" "It's a remake of Fort Apache."" ""[thudding]"" ""♪ I'm so rich I'm so bloody rich ♪"" ""[laughs]"" ""Waiter!" "Yes?"" ""[woman screams]"" ""[laughing]"" ""Mysterious enough for you, Mr. Dupont?"" ""Oh, don't be so stupid."" ""That was..."" ""[screams]"" ""[all shouting, screaming]"" ""Die, mint eaters!"" ""Are we taking scalps?" "[laughs]"" ""[humming]"" ""Ba-Ba-Ba-bum!"" ""[chuckles]"" ""[hums] [laughs]"" ""[Nosh] Sandra!" "Sandra!"" ""Oh..."" ""What do you want?" "Let me in, Sandra."" ""Go away, we're through!" "Please, Sandra!"" ""Let me in." "I'd like to have a slash."" ""Go see Lady Muck, you're not coming in here."" ""I'm coming in!" "Oh, no, you're not."" ""I changed the locks." "Ooh, you... cow!"" ""[pants unzip]"" ""[urinating]"" ""Here, are you on?" "Of course, sir."" ""Do us a favor, shoot that lock off."" ""Yes, sir."" ""I'm afraid it's bolted on the inside, sir."" ""Oh, bollocks."" ""Here, you wanna be a soldier one day?"" ""Yes, sir, I do." "Give us a tenner then."" ""Didn't this used to be Bastards?"" ""Yes, it's under new management." "I thought we'd give it a try."" ""[soft piano music plays]"" ""Um, are you the manager?" "Mind your own business."" ""[laughs] We'd like to book a table for two."" ""We're fully booked." "Anyway, you look fat enough already."" ""[laughs] Do you hear that, darling?"" ""Apparently, we're too fat!" "I love it!"" ""Yes, you must squeeze us in somehow." "We hate polite restaurants."" ""No, piss off." "Oh, please."" ""Look, here's some cash." "Very well."" ""But you don't really fit in, so sit in that corner and keep your trap shut."" ""Thank you so much." "Shut your face."" ""[man] This is the place they're all talking about."" ""[indistinct chatter] Eat The Rich, how very witty!"" ""[woman] Take my daughter, anything." "Come on, push!"" ""We were here first!" "[all yelling]"" ""Sit down there, you bastard." " It's great, they really hate us here, don't they?"" ""Yes!" "Isn't it fab?" "I told you it's the in place to come."" ""It certainly is." " What do you want to stuff yourself with, ponce?"" ""Oh, such fun." "Uh, what's the soup of the day?"" ""Manager with rice or chips."" ""You're much too ugly to eat in here."" ""But you must let me in!"" ""Please!" "I know Jack Nicholson!" "No!"" ""Get lost, starfucker!"" ""Yes?" "Table for two, please."" ""Over there."" ""Eat The Rich?"" ""Feed the poor?"" ""[chuckles] Yes."" ""Oh, look up, darling."" ""[scoffs]"" ""Spider, I've got some rather bad news."" ""Go on, then, surprise me."" ""The Russians have ordered me to defect to Moscow."" ""When is that then?" "I can't say."" ""I failed to stop Nosher Powell."" ""Now they're worried that he might expose them."" ""[sobs] God, I feel so effing lost."" ""Well, don't start crying here."" ""Excuse me, I just seen someone I used to know."" ""Two more managers with chips." "We're running out of manager!"" ""Blimey, we'll have to start on the customers then."" ""Don't put so much salt in next time."" ""I'd stick to the chips if I was you."" ""Why?"" ""Somebody's just been handed to us on a plate."" ""Ah." "I see."" ""[laughs]"" ""Good grief."" ""These people are eating their way through the jetset."" ""You're not coming in here!" "Hush up!" "Millionaires only."" ""Incredible." "Just incredible."" ""It's a bit naughty, isn't it?"" ""Come through five minutes, sir."" ""Hm..."" ""Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"" ""Paper, morning paper." "Prime Minister missing."" ""Paper, morning paper." "Prime minister missing."" ""Thank you, guv." "Thank you." "Morning, guv."" ""How's spying going, all right?" "Paper, morning paper."" ""Prime minister missing." "Paper!"" ""[snoring]"" ""[moaning] She slung me out."" ""[groans]" " Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that."" ""Marriage is on the rocks."" ""She wants a divorce."" ""Oh, dear."" ""You always seemed the perfect couple."" ""Everyone in government thought so."" ""Yeah." "You're right."" ""They want to take over the eastern when I'm gone."" ""I ain't got no missus."" ""Mrs. Powell always struck me as a deeply romantic woman."" ""Perhaps, with the pressures of government,"" ""you may have overlooked those intimate little touches"" ""that a woman of her..." "je Ne sais quoi craves."" ""Why don't you take her out to dinner?"" ""I can't do that." "Why not?"" ""You know, it's a funny thing."" ""But there's only one thing she'll eat."" ""What's that?" "Mince."" ""[Sandra] Anything's possible." "[chuckles]"" ""[both whispering]"" ""[loud pop] [Nosh grunts]"" ""Shall I pour?" "Fill her up."" ""Well, you've certainly gone out of your way to make up, Nosh."" ""Jewels, furs and champagne."" ""So when do I get me front door key back?"" ""[chuckles]"" ""Maybe you will, and maybe you won't."" ""Let's see how the evening goes."" ""[sighs]"" ""Are you sure this is the latest in place?"" ""I can't imagine the Prime Minister wanting..."" ""Don't start that old bollocks again!"" ""All right." "Oi!" "Sambo!"" ""What's special tonight?" "Meat."" ""What's he doing?" "Holding cutlery."" ""[squishing] [Fiona moans]"" ""You all right, love?" "You look about peaked."" ""It's the baby." "Jimmy, I'm having a baby!"" ""Oh, blimey!"" ""I'm giving birth." "Look."" ""Any second, I'd say."" ""Jimmy, I want to do it Leboyer method."" ""Leboyer?" "What's that?"" ""[panting] Natural childbirth."" ""No painkillers. [Screams]"" ""Just soft light and soft music."" ""[moaning]"" ""♪ Dear little baby ♪"" ""♪ You're on your way ♪"" ""♪ Dear little baby ♪"" ""♪ Have a nice day ♪"" ""[screaming]"" ""We're running out of old customers!"" ""Well, improvise." "[laughter]"" ""It's a scream, isn't it?" "I'm just off to the loo."" ""[man speaks indistinctly]"" ""[laughs]"" ""Evening."" ""[moaning]"" ""One more push."" ""[moans] There it is."" ""Oh, it's a little boy."" ""[baby crying] Oh!" "He's beautiful!"" ""Oh!" "My little baby boy!"" ""What are we going to call you?"" ""I always thought Esquis was rather a lovely name."" ""Yes, that is a lovely name." "Hello, Esquis."" ""[laughter]"" ""It's arrived." "What's he doing?"" ""Sniffing it."" ""One bite, that's all I need."" ""Oh, shit, he's calling the waiter."" ""I can't bear it." "Something's happening."" ""What's happening?" "Wait a minute."" ""It's tomato sauce, guv."" ""Come on."" ""Come on, just one large mouthful for Uncle Spider."" ""It's going in." "It's in."" ""Has he swallowed?"" ""Wait a minute, wait a minute."" ""Yes, like a 30-dollar blowjob, governor."" ""Get me the police."" ""Here, Mrs. Powell."" ""This tastes very much like human flesh to me."" ""Yes, it does, doesn't it?"" ""[siren wailing]"" ""[police radio chatter]"" ""This is the police."" ""Lay down your knives and forks."" ""[clattering]"" ""You have all been eating the Prime Minister."" ""[all retching]"" ""Let's go!"" ""Quick!" "Out the back!"" ""[engine sputtering]"" ""Hey, you!" "You!"" ""I want a cover-up!"" ""I want a complete cover-up in this whole business!"" ""If the press find out that I've been eating the Prime Minister."" ""I lose the election!" "I want a whitewash!"" ""A complete fucking whitewash!"" ""[man] Mince massacre." "The front cover!"" ""[all chattering]"" ""A baby?" "It's a boy."" ""A boy."" ""A baby boy."" ""A little baby boy." "Isn't he beautiful?"" ""It's my son, isn't it?"" ""It's my son!" "No!" "You can't have him."" ""He's mine!" "[babbling]"" ""[laughs] Cootchie-cootchie-cootchie!"" ""[engine sputtering]"" ""Where's Fiona?" "I'll go back for her."" ""[sobbing]"" ""Fiona!"" ""He took my baby!"" ""Who?" "[sobbing]"" ""Oh...!"" ""[screams]"" ""[man] This way, please, Nosh." "That's right, hold there, Nosh." "That's lovely."" ""Look, rescue bid pays off." "Nosh has saved the baby from being eaten alive."" ""It's my baby." "[man] One more, Nosh."" ""It's my baby son." "[screaming]"" ""He's all mine." "[all] Aw!"" ""Who's the secret saucy mum, Nosh?" "[screaming]"" ""There he is." "The heavyweight champion of the world." " That's lovely." "And again."" ""The next heavyweight champion!" "[screaming]"" ""[screaming]"" ""[grunting]"" ""[growling]"" ""[growling]"" ""[rock music plays]"" ""[yelling]"" ""♪ You're playing tricks, babe And that's a fact ♪"" ""♪ Your magic circle ain't where it's at ♪"" ""♪ One moment you were here and then you disappeared ♪"" ""♪ This ain't the first time that I've caught your act ♪"" ""♪ Nothing up my sleeve, babe ♪"" ""♪ Watch out, watch out ♪"" ""♪ Magic's what you need, babe ♪"" ""♪ Just like that ♪"" ""[gunshot] [screams]"" ""Where's my son?" "I..." "I don't know."" ""They... somebody must have taken him."" ""No!"" ""He's mine!" "I want him!" "Leave him, Nosh."" ""Give me that gun!" "No!"" ""No more killing!" "Please, Nosh!"" ""I've never killed anybody in my life."" ""But I'll kill any bastard that takes my son!"" ""Nosh!"" ""Nosh!"" ""[Fiona sobbing]"" ""I've got to go back." "I want my baby!"" ""You can't, love." "It's too dangerous."" ""He'll kill you." " I'd rather die than leave Esquis with that man."" ""I'm sorry, boys." "I'm a mother now." "I've got to go."" ""Anarchy in the UK!" "[Jimmy] Don't be daft!"" ""Let's think about this for a moment."" ""We'll all go." "What?"" ""We're going back for Esquis."" ""Fuck me."" ""[Alex] One shot."" ""One clear shot." "That's all I need."" ""You're joking." "Not this time, Jimmy."" ""Stop right there, unless you want a fucking arrow through your head."" ""It's you."" ""A child needs its mother."" ""[baby crying]"" ""Who are you?" "A friend."" ""Where's Ron?" "He's dead."" ""Ron's dead?"" ""He was shot." "Oh."" ""In the back."" ""He's coming for you, Alex."" ""Come on, let's go."" ""I'm not coming, Jimmy." "Aye?"" ""You take Fiona and the baby."" ""I'm gonna wait here for Ron."" ""Ron?" "What are you talking about?"" ""Oh."" ""Go on." "I'll be all right, Jimmy."" ""Here." "You better have one of these, mate."" ""No, thanks." "Go on." "Take one, please."" ""All right." "Thanks."" ""The blue ones are best."" ""Very kind, the both of you."" ""It don't matter."" ""Go on!" "Get the hell out of here, Jimmy!" "Go while you still can!"" ""[music swells]"" ""The summer's nearly gone."" ""It has that nip in the air."" ""I don't suppose..." "What's that?"" ""What?" "That noise."" ""[Nosh yelling]"" ""I want my son!"" ""Thanks for everything."" ""Not at all."" ""Give me my son!"" ""I want my son!"" ""My son!" "You're too late."" ""He's gone!" "Fuck you!"" ""Give me my son, or else I'll fill you full of lead!"" ""Oh!"" ""You bastard!"" ""Give... me..."" ""my... fucking..."" ""son!" "Where is my son?" "!"" ""Oh!" "Oh!"" ""[Nosh] Are you dead yet?" "[Alex] No!"" ""[Nosh] Me neither."" ""[Alex] What about now?"" ""[Nosh] Death's a great equalizer, isn't it?"" ""[Alex] Isn't it a pity we can't be more equal in life?"" ""[Nosh] Don't start that old commie bollocks again."" ""[Alex] Look, if you want to meet your maker,"" ""you better clean up your act."" ""[Nosh laughs]"" ""What's black, with curly hair,"" ""and full of holes?" "[Alex] What?"" ""[Nosh] You. [Laughs]"" ""[Alex] OK." "What's old,"" ""stupid, and only got half a stomach?"" ""[Nosh] What?" "[Alex] You!"" ""[both laugh]"" ""[Nosh] Knock knock."" ""[man] One, two, three!" "[rock music plays]"" ""♪ All right, all right ♪"" ""♪ I hope you sons of bitches see the light ♪"" ""♪ You again, you again ♪"" ""♪ I know you've got a mental age of ten ♪"" ""♪ Listen up, listen up ♪"" ""♪ I wouldn't swap you for a thousand bucks ♪"" ""♪ Come on, you're the one ♪"" ""♪ I think I'm going to switch your laser on ♪"" ""♪ I've got the medicine you need ♪"" ""♪ I've got the power I've got the speed ♪"" ""♪ I'll find out how to stop your clock ♪"" ""♪ We sure ain't talking Dr. Spock ♪"" ""♪ Hear me talking, Dr. Rock ♪"" ""♪ Lie down, turn around ♪"" ""♪ Here come the sister Gonna strip you down ♪"" ""♪ Shut up, breathe in ♪"" ""♪ Let's have the address of your next of kin ♪"" ""♪ Chin up, shoulders back ♪"" ""♪ You've got a body like a Marshall stack ♪"" ""♪ Keep still Take your pill ♪"" ""♪ Or I'm gonna make you really ill ♪""