"Good morning, Judge." "Jonathan Xavier." "You stand before me today accused of low crimes such as theft and civil disobedience." "What have you to say for yourself?" "Mr. Xavier, you've been given full bounty of our society's benefits, yet you choose to flaunt your disrespect for everything decent by means of repeated transgressions against us." "All we ask of our citizens is a modest conformity, but even that seems to be too much for you and your misguided followers." "So now you're going to have to listen to my verdict." "Do your worst, Counselor." "I'm counting on it." "In as much as you insist on being an outsider and laughing at the rules and traditions of our advanced civilization," "I am exiling you to a place which has no adherence to either." "Observe." "Under your desks, children!" "Yeah?" "Well, I don't care!" "You can end me to any pus-y, scab-covered boil you want." "At least I'll be going places." "I'm the guy your parents hate!" "Young man, do you really wish to become that?" "Undisciplined, irreverent..." "Tasteless!" "I'd like to advise you to choose your next words carefully, because this may be your last chance to find grace among your own people." "Oh, yeah, baby." "What is this thing he's got?" "Guard!" "You little monster!" "Jonathan Xavier..." "An unselfish act will bring you home." "Be wise, for what it's worth." "Until that time," "I have no choice but to sentence you to Earth!" "She's close." "Mmmm." "I can almost taste her." "Let's fade." "Woo!" "We surrender, we surrender!" "I'd like to say a word about Chesterfields." "Chesterfields are milder-smoking, better-tasting and cooler." "See "Beatnik Barbecue" starring screen sensation Robin Wray." "Here you go, baby." "It's a gasper." "We interrupt this program to bring you a late-breaking news bulletin." "The southwest's Rockin' Shamrock, Mickey O'Flynn," ""The Man with the Grin," is missing." "A search of O'Flynn's Arizona mansion yielded no clues." "O'Flynn was last seen rehearsing for his first public appearance in several years." "Show producer King Clayton who lured the reckless recluse back into the limelight for a concert scheduled this weekend, admits that the rootin', tootin', shootin' star failed to show up for a rehearsal." "What can I say?" "The rooting', tootin', shootin' star failed to show up for a rehearsal." "O'Flynn's following at the height of his success surpassed all but a few in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame." "But even after the bright lights dimmed," "O'Flynn remained loyal to his fans." "If you or anyone you know is in possession of any information that may lead to a resolution to this crisis, please contact your local authorities." "And now this..." "You're a star, Snooky!" "Yeah, well, they're not exactly lining up for autographs." "Let's just keep it that way." "What can I get you?" "Make it cold and wet, handsome." "A pop?" "With a twist of lime." "Chip." "My name is Bliss." "Repeat it." "Bliss." "That's nice." "I like the way you say that." "Let's try another one." "You see that desert?" "Yeah, I see it." "You know what's sitting out there?" "No, what?" "Lizards." "Lizards?" "That's right." "A whole bunch of lizards." "Do you know what those lizards are doing?" "They're looking for me, that's what they're doing." "And you know why?" "They want to lick me." "Lick you?" "You mean..." "Doesn't matter." "All that does matter is you're no lizard, and that you don't remind me of him." ""Him."" "Him?" "Johnny X." "Oh, him." "My boyfriend." "Oh... him." "I've been in that Godforsaken desert for 40 days and 40 nights without so much as a Popsicle to keep me company, all to get away from Johnny and his pack of jackals." "But a lizard doesn't always have to be a lizard, Chip." "Just like a soda jerk doesn't always have to be a soda jerk." "He can change." "Or someone can change him." "You wanna go for a spin in my motor-rotor?" "Groovy." "Let's go." "I need a little tiger in my tank." "But my shift, it isn't" "Your shift?" "Chip, what did we just talk about?" "Maybe you need to shift gears." "I'm going." "Going..." "I'd like to, I would." "But this is my life, right here in this diner." "I'm solid gone." "Wait!" "He's here!" "♪ See this "A?" Uh-huh." "♪ It's an "A" for Annette Whoa, man!" "♪ Do you like my "A?" Uh-huh." "♪ Well look at it and like it 'cause it's all that you get ♪" "♪ See this "B?" ♪ See this "H?"" "♪ It's a "B" for Bobbi ♪ It's an "H" for Hope" "♪ Do you like my "B?" ♪ Do you like my "H?"" "♪ Well look at what you like ♪" "♪ But can you touch it?" "No!" "♪ We wanna rage" "♪ We wanna fight" "♪ We wanna rumble all through the night ♪" "♪ We wanna rip Ha!" "♪ We wanna roar Hey!" "♪ We wanna wreck and then come back for more ♪" "Yeah." "♪ Johnny's waiting contemplating ♪" "♪ Anticipating a brawl" "♪ And he won't go far" "♪ 'Til the tar is beat out of every one of you all ♪" "♪ They wanna choke they wanna crack ♪" "♪ They wanna give a few heads a whack ♪" "♪ We wanna pound" "♪ We wanna punch" "♪ They wanna bust up our business lunch ♪" "Right!" "♪ There's nothin' I like better... ♪" "♪ Better than... ♪... than breaking' a jaw or two ♪" "♪ Oh, yeah!" "♪ We wanna rage" "♪ We wanna fight ♪ We want to take a big bite ♪" "♪ And we wanna begin" "♪ Begin ♪ Begin ♪ Begin" "♪ With you!" "Sucker!" "Pulverize him!" "Oh yeah, right there." "Rip his ears off!" "That's right-- still, no word on the mysterious disappearance of Cactus Rock legend Mickey O'Flynn." "Wait a minute, you goons." "I wanna hear this." "A search of O'Flynn's residence revealed no new evidence." "None of O'Flynn's seven ex-wives could be reached for comment." "♪ That cat that Mickey O'Flynn ♪" "♪ He's one of the reasons I'm here ♪" "♪ He's one of the reasons I am what I am ♪" "♪ One of the reasons I have no fear ♪" "♪ That cat ♪ We wanna rage" "♪ That Mickey O'Flynn ♪ We wanna fight" "♪ And forever must he roam ♪ We wanna rumble" "♪ Like all us lost and lonely souls ♪" "♪ Amen" "♪ I hope he finds his way back home ♪" "♪ Johnny oh Johnny" "♪ Why can't you Johnny be good?" "♪" "♪ Behave a bit more normal" "♪ Like an earthly teenager should ♪" "♪ Johnny oh Johnny ♪ Bliss Bliss" "♪ You is my woman ♪ You must not fight indoors" "♪ Now and forever ♪ Just let them go" "♪ Ahhh ♪ And then you know" "♪ Ahhh... ♪ I will give to you what rightfully is yours ♪" "♪ Don't do it Bliss" "♪ He can't be trusted" "♪ He should be busted without any bail ♪" "♪ No deals Bliss" "♪ Have you forgotten?" "♪ His love is rotten and cold and stale ♪" "♪ Don't do it Bliss" "♪ Don't worry about me Chip ♪ He can't be trusted" "♪ He should be busted without any bail ♪ ♪ I can take care of myself" "♪ No deals Bliss have you forgotten ♪ ♪ Please let us go" "♪ His love is rotten and cold and... ♪" "Just let us go." "♪ Let 'em go?" "♪ Baby I can't do that" "♪ Let 'em walk away into the desert sun ♪" "♪ Let 'em go?" "♪ We'll take our chances" "♪ Baby I won't do that" "♪ Walkin' in the sun would not be any fun ♪" "♪ No ♪ Give us a break" "♪ I got my self respect" "♪ No ♪ And let us go" "♪ And I got their respect ♪" "♪ No ♪ He's got a reputation to protect ♪" "♪ 'Cause firstly and lastly I still am the Ghastly One ♪" "♪ Let 'em go?" "♪ Baby I can't do that" "♪ Not a day for walkin' in the desert sun ♪" "♪ Let 'em go?" "♪ Baby I won't do that" "♪ A hundred degrees or more and that ain't fun ♪" "♪ No ♪ No" "♪ I got my self respect" "♪ No ♪ No" "♪ And I got their respect" "♪ No ♪ He's got a reputation to protect ♪" "♪ 'Cause firstly and lastly I still am the Ghastly... ♪" "Cage 'em!" "♪ We wanna rage" "♪ We wanna rage ♪ We wanna fight" "♪ We wanna fight we wanna rumble ♪" "♪ All through the night ♪ ♪ Johnny oh Johnny" "♪ Why can't you Johnny be good?" "♪" "♪ Don't do it Bliss ♪ She can take care of herself ♪" "Yeah!" "♪ He can't be trusted" "♪ Johnny's tired of waiting ♪" "♪ And anticipating ♪ Rumble rumble rumble" "♪ A brawl ♪ Bop shi waddy waddy" "♪ And I won't go far 'til the tar is beat out ♪" "♪ Of every one of you all" "♪ They wanna choke ♪ Don't let them get away" "♪ They wanna crack ♪ Don't let them get away" "♪ They wanna give our two heads a whack ♪ ♪ Give you a whack" "♪ We wanna pound Help!" "♪ We wanna punch Help!" "♪ We wanna bust you up before lunch ♪" "♪ There's nothing I like better ♪ ♪ Don't do it Bliss" "♪ Don't worry Chip ♪ Than breaking a jaw or two ♪" "♪ I can take care of myself ♪" "♪ We wanna rage" "♪ We've got to get away get away ♪" "♪ We wanna fight" "♪ Don't stop just get away get away ♪" "♪ We wanna take" "♪ Too hot to get away get away ♪" "♪ A real big bite" "♪ He should be busted ♪ Why can't you Johnny be good?" "♪" "♪ And we're gonna begin... ♪ This is our chance ♪ Gonna begin... ♪ Our very last chance With you!" "Where is it?" "Where are you hidin' it, dollface?" "Up your asteroid." "Ahh-ahh-ahh..." "Aw, who's the loser now?" "Squaresville." "Starts with "B" and it ain't Bobbi, that's for sure." "I'm not exactly sure what's going on around here, but..." "Yeah, you and the rest of your world." "It's your call, baby doll." "Give me what I want." "Do that... and your little friend here might actually live to tell the tale." "You wouldn't dare." "Give it back to me... or pay the price." "To think I was actually in love with you..." "If that's the way you wanna play the scene." "Hold on." "What's he doing?" "Careful!" "Oh my God!" "Let's spark that plug!" "Get in!" "We'll catch up with them later, back inside, now!" "You, out!" "Let's fade, baby!" "To black!" "I charge you, as you value the secret of that device, to do nothing and say nothing of this episode." "I know where the girl is hiding and can guarantee her safe return." "I'm feeling very uncomfortable, Snooky." "Fear not, my pet." "Except opening nights, sober critics, or a poker player holding a winning hand, which I assure you, my leather-clad warrior," "I most assuredly am." "What should we do, boss?" "Should we make him talk?" "Knock his block, clean his clock?" "Get cool, Paulie." "If this fine, upstanding citizen and his fine upstanding... wife?" "Girlfriend." "Whatever." "...have anything to tell us," "I'm sure that's exactly what they're gonna do," "Right?" "That's right, super-duper, Daddy-o." "So." "Where is she?" "I really couldn't say." "Oh, that's it, boss" " Let me rock him, let me sock him!" "Unless you agree to assist me." "You know, tit for tat." "What?" "Nice hat." "Kill the engine, chuckles." "Gosh." "I used to see double-features here." "I've never seen a picture show at the drive-in." "You haven't?" "Almost all of these babies are gone, just like the buffalo and the 35-cent hamburger." "I can't believe you've never been to a drive-in." "I have, just not for the show." "I thought I told you to kill that engine." "I'm sorry." "I've never done anything like that before." "I've never done anything like any of this before." "Well, I have, more times than you can imagine, and it always comes out the same way." "I'm sorry." "So who are those punks and what do they want?" "You don't wanna know." "I think I should know, now that I'm on their must-hit list." "They call themselves "The Ghastly Ones."" "The Ghastly Ones?" "What are they, musicians?" "Not quite." "Chip..." "I'm in a bit of a bind right now and I could really use your help." "I've never said that to anyone before, at least, not with my clothes on." "Why me?" "Because, you're different." "♪ I knew the moment I first met you ♪" "♪ You're someone I could trust ♪" "♪ So when I ask you, please believe me ♪" "♪ It's something that you must ♪" "♪ And though your questions might persist ♪" "♪ Even after we have kissed ♪" "♪ They'll be answered by... ♪" "♪ These lips that never lie ♪" "♪ What I must tell you won't be easy ♪" "♪ For you to understand" "♪ The trouble I have gotten into ♪" "♪ Was totally unplanned" "♪ If you provide the help I need ♪" "♪ Cross my heart when we succeed ♪" "♪ You can satisfy... ♪ These lips that never lie ♪" "♪ I'd never deceive you" "♪ like a common tramp" "♪ And I swear I'll relieve you... ♪" "♪ Wait, I'm getting a cramp!" "♪" "♪ But first I must complete my mission ♪" "♪ 'Cause that is why I'm here ♪" "♪ So listen close and pay attention ♪" "♪ I'll make it very clear ♪" "♪ Just save the universe with me ♪" "♪ And I guarantee you'll be ♪" "♪ Compensated by..." "♪ These lips that never lie ♪" "Okay." "You talked me into it." "Now, what's this all about?" "The Ghastly love of Johnny X." "Him again?" "What's he got that I haven't got?" "And what makes that creep so all-powerful over you?" "Johnny comes from a place... very far from here." "He was powerful, even there." "One day he came to us with this dastardly device." "He called it the resurrection suit." "When he put on that suit he could control anyone, especially if they're wired to receive the frequency of his brainwaves." "You poppin' pills?" "I was his first subject." "What are those?" "What do you think?" "Implants?" "No, they're real, Chip." "You wanna touch 'em?" "No, no, no-- I know what those are." "I meant those other... things." "How do you think he forced me out of the car?" "But, all he had was a glove." "That's why he could only make me do nasty things with one hand." "So this suit really does exist?" "Be careful!" "If this is what you say it is, how in the world did you get him to give it to you?" "I didn't." "I pinched it." "All except for the glove." "♪ Just save the universe with me ♪" "♪ And I guarantee you'll be ♪" "♪ Compensated by... ♪ These lips that never ♪" "♪ These lips that never ♪" "♪ These lips that never lie!" "♪" "Welcome to my little corner of paradise." "Nice digs." "They were gonna wreck this place." "Yeah, bang, zoom!" "Tear it down, until Lil and I stepped in to saved it." "Nice stepping." "Nearly broke my heart to think of... the money-making potential of this place at the mercy of those big balls." "Wrecking balls." "So, we just borrowed some money, and whammo, here we are." "Whammo" " Broke!" "Yeah, that's all very interesting but I'm still not sure why we bothered to show up for class." "So cut to the chase, see, or we're droppin' out, you dig?" "Spill it." "I suppose that all of you are aware, indeed, quite paralyzed with fear, over the recent disappearance of a certain cactal crooner." "The Man with the Grin?" "The very same." "He's one of the reasons I came here." "He sure is." "One of the reasons we all came here." "Well, stay close." "And no flash photography, please." "We're still rehearsing." "♪ I saw you standing there ♪" "♪ With the moonlight in your hair ♪" "♪ And I smiled and sighed" "♪ And said that's for me ♪" "♪ That's for me" "♪ I heard no other sound ♪" "♪ When my heart began to pound ♪" "♪ And I smiled and sighed and said ♪" "♪ That's for me" "♪ That's for me" "♪ I looked deep into those eyes ♪" "♪ So blue" "♪ So young" "♪ And I knew those happy wedding bells ♪" "♪ Would soon..." ""Be-uti-ful."" "What the hell's going on here, Clayton?" "When you look at the stars, baby, what do you see?" "Well, gosh." "I think about Superman and how he was raised on a farm just like me." "He was born in the stars you know." "I see possibility..." "Countless possibilities..." "Endless possibility..." "They're mighty inviting aren't they?" "The stars." "I could do with a cool one." "You slay me, sailor." "We should run off together..." "See Mexico, Canada..." "Maybe book a tramp steamer to the south seas." "I've always longed to see the Black Hole of Calcutta." "But first, we gotta stop by my uncle's and get you a cold one." "I think you'll really like him, he's a pretty hep cat." "You better pray this harebrained scheme of yours works and we can pay off those thugs." "You bought this mausoleum and you better fill it with bodies, 'cause if you don't, we are lock, stock, and bone broke, baby." "And if you can't feed the kitty, you ain't gettin' the pretty." "Slash out the pussy-footin'." "Look, Daddy-o." "Where I come from, if a man wants to drag, first he shows the other cat what he has under his hood." "I'm willing to lay all my cards on the table, Mister X." "That's the only way I've ever played the game." "Indubitably." "When I booked the great Mickey O'Flynn on this gig," "I was confidant that his return would pack an ass into every seat in this house, but my trusting and generous nature betrayed me yet again." "It seems that Mister O'Flynn was... not the man he once was." "Copy that." "So I stopped by his dressing room yesterday to give him a little pep talk." "All right, all right, let's get to the point." "And sharpen it!" "I can do better than that." "You know, this business takes your heart and then your soul." "I mean, that's why it's tough for me, Clayton." "I mean, I'm eaten up inside." "I'm all sucked dry." "It was different when I was back on top." "What are you talking about?" "Why, Lily here's one of your biggest fans, one of your greatest admirers, right, Lil?" "Biggest." "Greatest." "Why, I don't mind telling you it's been the dream of my life to work on a show with you." "You know, we're going to pull this thing together, the two of us, and then we'll both be back on top again." ""We"?" "Your fans are counting on you." "I don't have any fans." "All I got, a bunch of pesky ghouls waiting for me to pop off so my autograph'll be worth more." "I can't face 'em." "They all wanna see me dead." "What are you talking about?" "They all love you, we love you." "Right, Lily?" "Biggest." "Greatest." "Well, here's a little news." "I don't love you, I don't love anybody," "I don't love them." "I mean, this rock and roll bullshit is a bunch of crap!" "And you can stick it up your keister!" "You're parasites!" "It's cold." "Cold?" "Cripes, Mickey, we're in the middle of a friggin' heat wave." "I'm roasting here." "Oh, well, you are, but I feel the winter coming." "I feel the black plague, it's coming to get me." "Forget about it." "You got the jitters, I don't blame you." "It's been a while since you've been in front of an audience." "The most important thing is that you believe in what you're doing." "You want me to believe in what I'm doing?" "Look." "If the curtain goes up tomorrow night and you're not on that stage torturing that guitar and making love to them high notes, you'll be finished." "Maybe I want to be." "No, I don't think so." "I know you better than that." "I've followed your career for a long time and one of the things I was most impressed with is that you care about your music, if nothing else." "Look..." "Just knuckle down." "Give yourself a break." "Give me a break." "You?" "This is my last shot, O'Flynn." "I owe a bloody fortune to a bunch of loan sharks." "If you're not on that stage tomorrow night," "I'm a dead man." "Okay." "We got a problem here, Clayton." "The spirit of Rock and Roll dictates that I do what I want to do and managers be damned." "Now you're asking me to go against that spirit, to do what my premonition tells me not to do." "To help my fellow man, to help you?" "Is that about the gist of it?" "In a nutshell, yes." "Okay." "Just as long as we understand each other, buddy." "How about a cigar?" "Oh, no thanks, man, those things'll kill you." "I think I got some smokes over there, do you mind?" "Oh, I wondered where those went." "Get some more of those." "Oh." "Here you go." "Thank you, Mr. Claymation." "Clayton." "Claytie." "Claytie rock." "I'll tell you what, Mickey." "You've always dealt with vultures." "Now, that's" " That's all over." "How about a toast?" "To the collaboration of Mickey O'Flynn, the Man with the Grin, and King Clayton." "Long live the King of Cactus Rock." "Mickey?" "Mickey?" "What happened?" "The son of a bitch just reneged on his contract." "Huh?" "Holy shit, Batman." "I'm sorry, kid." "I know how much you admired him." "Big sleep." "Bad break." "Bad smell." "You can get him up and moving, right, for the concert?" "Johnny can get anything up with that suit." "Can't you, Johnny?" "You know I can, baby." "But I won't." "Not this time." "Not to my own..." "Is there something I should know?" "Yeah, you promised me Bliss and the suit, yet you delivered nothing but a dead cracker!" "Now..." "Now what do you have to say about that?" "There you are." "Abracadabra!" "Uncle King!" ""Uncle"?" "You know these hoods?" "Some newly acquired business pals." "Except some of us are more than pals." "And some of us aren't pals at all." "I can't believe you did this to us." "You knew they were after us!" "What the hell is that?" "Now Chip, I told you never to come in here." "What happened?" "It was an unfortunate development, but the show must go on." "All right, lover." "You stole the suit and now I'm going to steal it back." "And since it seems... you don't have it on you," "I'm guessing you stashed it in that mean machine of yours." "Am I warm?" "Is that the sweet smell of soda jerk on your lips?" "You might get the suit, but you will never get me back." "Go screw!" "We did." "Really?" "Uh-oh." "Oh." "Yeah." "Yeah!" "Get her!" "Ladies!" "This isn't the place, all right?" "Hey, come on, come on, come on." "Come on, come on." "The world's most wanted car." "I wonder what's inside?" "It'd be a shame if I had to turn all this fine chrome into tinfoil just to find out." "But then, you know, down here, we've all got free will, don't we?" "You lie, Johnny!" "I sure as hell don't have any free will." "Because if I did, you would tell your gorillas turn me loose so I could go over there and kick your greasy ass!" "So, the mouse roars." "All right, boys-- Let him go." "You should have 'em neutered." "It'd improve their disposition." "Come on, soda jerk." "Make your play." "Easy for you to say." "You're the one who's armed." "I like you, Soda." "Maybe you have what it takes to be a Ghastly One." "Come on, come on, come on, come on." "And maybe you have what it takes to be a soda... jerk!" "All right, how do you wanna do this?" "Me, bare knuckles." "You, tire irons, chains, blades, whatever you want." "Hey Johnny, don't take any chances." "Give him the pill." "Yeah Johnny, the big pill!" "The big pill!" "Wait!" "Not that." "Have a Coke." "Thanks." "Ah, the pause that refreshes." "Hey, hey, hey, hey, man." "Forget about this testosterone-driven bullshit." "We have more important business at hand." "Johnny, if you're half the man I think you are, you'll honor our deal." "Resurrect the Man with the Grin for the rebel-rousin' show of a lifetime!" "And Chip..." "Chip, if you're the freckle-faced sweet kid" "I know you are, you'll put this one out to pasture." "So how about it?" "What do you say, fellas?" "She's all yours, Daddy-o." "Just stay out of my way." "If you're smart, you'll stay out of hers, too." "I hope you're happy, now that you have what you want." "Likewise." "So, what's to do, Johnny" " What's to do?" "We'll mobilize later at the opera house." "Make yourselves scarce for a little while." "I need some time alone." "Meditate." "Aces." "Come on, kids, let's fade." "Hey, Johnny." "What do you say we give this place the needle, huh?" "You and me." "And go where?" "Another empty desert town, with empty desert dreams?" "It wouldn't be empty." "Not with me there." "We never do it anymore, Johnny." "Why the brush?" "Come on..." "You know why." "Yeah." "Because of her." "You're saving yourself for her, it's cute." "Look, I'm trying to save us all from this rock." "After my... unselfish act tomorrow, we're home free." "It's a cinch." "What makes you think she wants you anymore now that she's hot for that milkshake?" "She doesn't wanna go home any more than you do." "You know I love you, baby." "I just need some time alone, all right?" "You stay cool, Johnny." "Strange running into you here." "I've been chasing you across galaxies." "Always one step behind." "Always just shy of being able to measure up to your rep." "Your shadow." "Your size eight, triple-Es." "Now that I've found you, I don't know whether to hug you or punch your lights out, man." "I keep expecting to look up and see you gone, man." "You and that plastic grin, of yours." "That liar's grin." "Look at you now, old man." "My own father." "You can't go anywhere now, can you?" "You can't leave me this time." "I always knew I'd find you someday." "I guess I just never thought it'd be like this." "I wanted to share some kind words with you, Dad." "That's all I ever wanted." "That and maybe" "Maybe a little forgiveness." "We will have those words." "'Cause this ain't over." "Not yet." "♪ What's up with Johnny?" "♪" "♪ Why are we hangin' around?" "♪" "♪ This place is cute" "♪ But it's time to scoot" "♪ Because the resurrection suit was found ♪" "♪ What's up with Johnny?" "♪" "♪ What's he waiting for?" "♪" "♪ We've seen planet Earth for what it's worth ♪" "♪ But there's other planets to explore ♪" "Johnny!" "♪ What's up with Johnny?" "♪ We are ready to blow" "♪ It's so damn hot that we just sweat a lot ♪" "♪ And now we really, really got to go ♪" "Johnny!" "♪ What's up with Johnny?" "♪" "♪ Boy, we're gonna be rich" "♪ Oh I ain't sure about the whole damn thing ♪" "♪ We gotta make him stay out of the milky way ♪" "♪ And far away from that no good bitch ♪" "♪ Picture a planet a lot like this one ♪" "♪ Not quite as crowded and not as warm ♪" "Yes?" "♪ People so boring you'd never miss one ♪" "♪ And we were the gang that would not conform ♪" "I'll believe you, tell me more." "♪ Johnny was never a law abider ♪" "♪ So he stole the resurrection suit ♪" "♪ Always a misunderstood outsider ♪" "♪ He had a plan and it was a beaut'!" "♪" "♪ Beautiful, beautiful piles of money ♪" "♪ I knew I'd find you someday ♪" "♪ Before I got too old" "♪ But never guessed that one day ♪" "♪ Would be when you're stone cold ♪" "♪ What's up with Johnny?" "♪ So much is yet unspoken" "♪ What's he waiting for?" "♪ I've got to empty my heart ♪" "♪ So he came down here his intent was clear ♪" "♪ You're tearing me apart!" "♪ Believe me!" "♪ I do" "♪ Daddy ♪ Rich" "♪ Gotta scoot ♪ Gotta go" "♪ Oh oh" "♪ Bitch!" "♪ Believe me" "♪ I do ♪ Daddy" "♪ Rich ♪ Believe me" "♪ Gotta go ♪ ♪ Oh oh" "♪ Bitch ♪ Gotta scoot" "♪ I do ♪ Gotta go" "♪ Daddy ♪ Rich" "♪ Bitch ♪ Gotta scoot" "♪ I do ♪ Oh oh" "♪ Rich ♪ Bitch" "Johnny!" "Legendary rock star," "Mickey O'Flynn may not be missing after all, according to King Clayton, the self-proclaimed impresario in whose out-of-the-way nightclub." "O'Flynn is scheduled to appear tonight." "In what has been expounded by critics as nothing more than a cheap publicity stunt." "Clayton held an early morning press conference, insisting the Man with the Grin will go on as promised." "Like I said, the Man with the Grin will go on as promised." "Well, good luck, Mickey, wherever you are." "♪ What's up with Johnny?" "♪ This ain't like him at all ♪" "♪ He's always cool and never plays the fool ♪" "♪ And never has his back against the wall ♪" "♪ What's up with Johnny?" "♪ We shoulda split long ago ♪" "♪ We'll make the cash and then we'll split ♪" "♪ We'll see if Johnny's show's a hit ♪" "♪ We're so pissed off that we could spit ♪" "♪ Just sit and wait and wait and sit ♪" "♪ I'll keep my word and do the show ♪" "♪ Hooray he's back" "♪ Come on" "♪ Let's go" "Popcorn, popcorn!" "Peanuts!" "I got the best popcorn, peanuts in town." "Catch!" "Get away from her, this is my sister!" "Don't talk to her like that?" "She doesn't take water from just anybody." "How's our star holding up?" "Aces, Johnny." "When you shoot the juice into the corpse, he's gonna jump like a jack rabbit in heat." "It better." "I don't wanna be handing out refunds." "What's that smell?" "Oh, that's jasmine." "Sluggo thought it would be nice, on Mickey." "Who told him to think?" "Hey, meathead." "Jasmine?" "This ain't a séance, okay?" "Why don't you make yourself useful?" "Take those lines, run 'em over the transformer, tie 'em in, 'cause your on board battery ain't gonna cut it." "I need more sizzle to make this stiff hop." "Sluggo ain't your personal errand boy." "Boss." "Tell you what, we'll talk about your emancipation status later, okay?" "Right now, I really need you to tie me into that board!" "All right, stop." "Look." "We gotta get the soul into my..." "Into Mickey O'Flynn's body, all right?" "And it's gonna take guts-- And it's gonna take" "Gonna take focus and character and power, all right?" "We need to make that audience feel all the love that Mickey O'Flynn ever felt, all right?" "All the love from all the people that made him what he was." "So dig deep, deep into your souls." "Dig..." "And give me all you got." "'Cause I'm gonna need it." "You!" "It's always about you, prettyboy!" "Digging into our souls so you can have all the glory!" "I'm the one strapped into the suit." "I'm risking my life for you, Sluggo." "For all of you!" "For what?" "For freedom, dipshit-- All right?" "If this doesn't work, we're stuck here forever." "You want that?" "Maybe you should be the one to try to pull this off, huh?" "That's what I thought." "So this is it?" "The good deed, the unselfish act?" "Our ticket home?" "Honestly, Marty, I don't know if what we're doing here is gonna make me a hero or send me spinning straight into hell." "Get ready to spin, pretty boy." "Changed your mind about me?" "A long time ago." "Why can't you just be happy for me?" "Because I don't like milk shakes." "Come on, Bobbi." "Johnny." "I finally realize that as powerful, as slick as you are, you're really just a coward." "Where's big daddy?" "It's show time." "Here he comes, Johnny." "How do I look?" "Like an undertaker." "Where's hot biscuits?" "Oh, she's counting the receipts." "Some dames get nervous, you know, just before the witching hour." "Hey, hey, babe." "We were just talking about you." "Oh, yeah." "Weren't we?" "Skadoodle, poodle." "Am-scray, toots." "Let's do this!" "To be perfectly honest with you," "I have never met anyone so bewitching and so utterly neat as you." "But I'm beginning to think that this fascination of mine is a one-way street." "Save the drama for your mama." "I finally did something exciting after all these years of milkshakes and daydreams and this is what I have to show for it." "Chip." "I think I could love you, but I'm not sure I have the time." "♪ There's no greater show in the whole universe ♪" "♪ You couldn't do better you sure could do worse ♪" "♪ For now it's time for The Man with the Grin ♪" "♪ The rockin' revival of Mickey O'Flynn!" "♪" "♪ I'm like a big green bug-eyed monster ♪" "♪ And I'm comin' after you tonight ♪" "♪ Just like a big green bug-eyed monster ♪" "♪ I wanna pick you up and hold you tight ♪" "♪ Oh you can try to hide" "♪ And you can try to run" "♪ But I'm hungry for love" "♪ Baby you're the one" "♪ I'm like a big green bug-eyed monster ♪" "♪ And I'm comin' after you tonight ♪" "Who's your monster, honey?" "♪ I'm like a big green bug-eyed monster ♪" "♪ I need a little kiss from you ♪" "♪ Just like a big green bug-eyed monster ♪" "♪ I need some huggin' and some kissin' too ♪" "♪ Go on and scream and shout ♪" "♪ Go on and call a cop" "♪ Until I get some love" "♪ I ain't-a gonna stop" "♪ I'm like a big green bug-eyed monster ♪" "♪ And I need a little kiss from you ♪" "Johnny, Johnny..." "Johnny!" "Ooga!" "Booga!" "Booga!" "♪ Ooga booga booga baby don't be cruel ♪" "♪ Ooga" "♪ Ooga booga booga" "♪ See the way you make me drool ♪" "♪ I'm like a big green bug-eyed monster ♪" "♪ And I want you for my very own ♪" "♪ Like a big green bug-eyed monster ♪" "♪ It's you and me together all alone ♪" "♪ You shouldn't be afraid" "♪ When you're with me because ♪" "♪ You're safe as you can be" "♪ Wrapped in my scaly claws ♪" "♪ I'm like a big green bug-eyed monster ♪" "♪ I want you for my very own ♪" "Mickey!" "Did it work?" "Yes, handsome, it worked great." "Wait a minute!" "Wait just a second!" "I just had a dream." "The bright sun was extinguished and the stars did wander, darkling in the eternal sky, rayless and pathless in the moonless air." "Morning came and went and came and brought no day." "And men-- you!" "You forgot your passions in the dread of this!" "Your desolation." "Oh, bummer." "Now go and lead your lives of quiet desperation." "Go on!" "Get out!" "Get out!" "Oh, look at that." "Oh my God." "Look at that." "Mister O'-- Mr. O'Flynn?" "Excuse me, I'm" "Would you please sign, I'm a big fan." "I've admired you for years." "Thank you, man." "I bet, Mister" "He took my guitar!" "Oh my God!" "I might just faint." "Don't faint yet, darling." "Life's too short to spend on your back." "Alone." "Oh, Mr. O'Flynn." "Whatever do you mean?" "You have no idea." "My--my chariot awaits, sire." "Hey, Mama." "Hey, Mama!" "I've been a huge fan of yours ever since "Grind Me a Pound"!" "Aw, trash." "Ponderous, puerile trash." "Oh no, no, it's brilliant." "All of your songs are." "You know, I always thought so." "I mean, hell, who'd know better than I, right?" "As I look out tonight over this vast, celestial cavalcade, it strikes me that the things I like the most, like myself, my good looks, my personality, my unrivaled musical talent" "Mickey" " I'm your number one fan!" "My fans are gonna kill us, Miss, uh...?" "Dandi Conners." "That was wicked!" "Thanks for the rescue, man." "You're not from around here, are you?" "You know, I could use a quick thinker like you, a little muscle in my camp." "Come here." "How would you like a job?" "Yes, please." "Well, you're hired." "Welcome to the "shew."" "I like the sound of that." "What about me, Mickey?" "I wanna be hired, I want a job" " What'll I be?" "Well, Dandi darlin', I'm going to be conjuring up some deep and powerfully profound thoughts." "How would you like to chronicle them for your buddy Mickey?" "Would I!" "Yes, you would." "Just a moment, Mick." "I forgot something, but I'll be right back, okay?" "I believe you mentioned something about a chariot." "On our planet, pleasure and pain is not to be experienced, let alone enjoyed." "You should really watch what you say in public." "You could give a fella the... wrong impression." "You're a sweet kid, but I'm a bit lost here." "Maybe I latched onto the wrong... boy." "Is it getting cold out here or is that just you?" "Oh, come on." "Don't be such a thespian." "Chip?" "No, Sluggo-- No, not the pill!" "Anything but that, Sluggo!" "Not the big pill, please!" "What's up with her?" "A little too much freedom." "Oh my God, I used to be just like that." "I guess I got better at holding my liquor." "Mmm, you smell just like jasmine, my favorite." "Mine too, I think." "Enough with the chit-chat." "Let's agitate the gravel." "Hold on." "Hey, sleeping beauty." "Johnny wants you to have this." "Bliss!" "Bliss, where's Bliss?" "A triumph, my pet." "Of course, it wasn't easy, but nothing in the world is." "I'll tell you what." "Let's go share some of this celebration with Mickey and those juvenile delinquents from outer space." "Hey, save some of that celebration for me, big daddy." "Babe, the party ain't starting 'til I see the whites of your thighs." "Spoken like a true romantic." "Oh!" "Ah!" "Oh!" "Oh, hey, Chip..." "I was just..." "I was helping Lily with" "She's gone!" "Who, the skirt?" "Bliss-- Her name is Bliss." "Chip, you know girls." "She probably just went to the powder room or something." "She's been dusted alright." "That goon, Sluggo, nabbed her, and Mickey too!" "My Mickey?" "Your investment!" "Like I said, jasmine would be scent number one on my list." "It is just short of orgasmic." "Number two would be a citrus scent of some type, maybe mandarin or kumquat or even something grapefruity." "After that, mmm, I don't know, probably rose petals, although that's a bit light." "I'm a fan of heather and woodsy smells like pine and birch and anything you'd find in nature." "Things "au naturel" as they say in Europe." "When I was a kid, honey was the bomb." "I'd pour honey onto bread, in my tea, in my milk, even on my eggs sometimes." "I was crazy when I was a kid." "I'll let you in on a little secret." "I still like to pour honey onto certain things, if you take my meaning..." "It is so beautiful." "Thank you." "Cinnamon, nutmeg..." "I mean, the infinity of it all..." "Honey, whipped cream, chocolate sauce, butterscotch, strawberry jam..." "Bonbons?" "Huh?" "Do you like bonbons?" "Oh, yeah" "They're aged, but tasty." "That reminds me-- How old are you, darling?" "18." "18, my favorite flavor." "Slugster." "What time is it, please?" "Almost midnight." "Perfect." "There's someone I'd want to drop in on." "At this hour?" "Thanks one and all for staying tuned through that interlude." "And now let's bring back the Potentate of Pleasantry, the Sultan of Civility." "Who else could be better company, but Cousin Quilty?" "Shut up." "We're having a discussion here." "We're with the lovely Miss Robin." "Actress." "Star?" "Potential squeeze for Cousin Quilty." "Ha!" "Maybe not..." "Where were we?" "New Mexico, the land of enchantment." "Actually, Cousin Quilty, we were here in your studio, and we're still here," "I think." "I think I'm in trouble." "Okay, but seriously." "Okay." "Okay." "Okay." "I was visiting New Mexico when I had that first encounter with a flying saucer." "Flying saucer, fascinating." "Flying saucer!" "You seem skeptical." "Skeptical?" "Au contraire, moped." "I'm one of the few living talk show hosts who's actually been abducted." "I spent several weeks with the little fellows." "They even took a stab at impregnating me." "Fun, but fruitless." "You held your ground." "Among other things, yes." "Whatever do you mean?" "I'll show you later." "Hey Mickey, where'd they have you stashed?" "Sluggo, get rid of the geezer." "Relax, lollipop, look at me." "Look into my eyes and everything is gonna be just fine." "They're dreamy." "I know." "Now you sit tight, you keep an eye on Sluggo's playmate." "I have a message for the people and I'm in need of a medium." "Oh." "You'll always be an extra large to me, Mickey." "Mick." "Mick, I've been thinking." "We really ought to get that suit of Johnny's so's I could protect you." "Look up." "Huh?" "Look up." "I hope I never forget the way the sky looks tonight." "This is gonna sound crazy." "Crazier than a Quaker in a whorehouse." "I look up there, I think it's home." "Maybe just" "But Mick, we need that suit." "How do you think you came back?" "From where?" "But they told me that my spirit animal was an armadillo." "Fascinating." "Yeah." "Are you brain damaged or drunk?" "We're on the air." "Where are we working tomorrow?" "Ooh, this is a nice surprise." "Oh, no, no, don't tell me, let me guess." "The Martians have landed." "Oh, it's better than that." "Better than Martians?" "I have to tell you, folks, there have been a lot of weird rumors circulating about this man." "Tabloids have been reporting that he's dropped dead." "Or disappeared." "Or even worse." "But evidently, nothing could keep him away from Cousin Quilty's show tonight." "Put your hands together, ladies and gentlemen, for one of the greatest singers of all time," "The Man With the Grin, Mickey O'Flynn!" "There we go." "Hi!" "Oh" "Mickey." "Looking" "You're looking good." "I'll give you a Cousin Quilty welcome." "Thanks for having me, Quilt." "Who's this lovely little hummingbird?" "I'm sorry, I should have introduced you." "This is the lovely Robin Wray, star of "Beatnik Buffalo."" ""Beatnik Barbecue." "Beatnik Barbecue."" "Oh, if that's an invitation to dinner, you can count me in, darling." "I don't eat meat." "Well, except in the movie, of course." "There's been a lot of rumors about what's been happening with you lately, Mick." "That's why I'm here, Quilt." "I want to tell the whole world that I'm alive." "I'm alive and I feel magnificent." "Now that's a coincidence." "Mickey?" "And that no-good Sluggo is with him." "Traitor!" "It's not, like, a rerun?" "Hey, hey, shut up-- I wanna hear this." "So-- so you weren't abducted by aliens?" "It was a carefully orchestrated publicity stunt, the brainchild of my former employer, King Clayton." "That's it-- That does it." "I'm tearing up his contract!" "Well, I guess the proverbial cat is out of the bag." "So get out of town while you still can." "Oh, wow." "My face?" "Are you okay?" "My face is flopping off, what the hell's going on?" "Am I sick-- Am I sick?" "No, no, no, it's just" "Do I look sick?" "No, you look fine, Mick." "Well, heck." "There's just so many beautiful things out there." "In fact, on the way over tonight, look what I found." "It was just lying there in the road, unnoticed and unloved, yet all the beauty and mystery of life can be found in that serpentine, sensual, sinewy body." "Look at it." "It's exotic-- whoop" "It's deadly." "It's alive!" "Yes." "It's the booze, Daddy-o." "Mickey, who is this dapper young man you've brought along with you?" "A friendly friend?" "Ah Quilt, he's more than that." "Sluggo is my son." "Fine looking young man." "I didn't exactly germinate his mom's hooha or anything like that, but Sluggo is my son." "That rotten dirtbag." "And to think, I love them both." "Adopted?" "Yeah, damn straight, 100% bona fide adoptee." "The son I always wanted." "Don't touch that dial." "We're coming right back!" "I'd like say a word about Chesterfields." "Where's that studio?" "We have to save Bliss." "What's Bliss got to do with this?" "I said, what's Bliss got" "Johnny, Johnny..." "They got Bliss." "Sluggo abducted her." "Double whammy!" "What?" "Well, what are we doing waiting around her" " Let's scramble!" "Unlikely they'd still be there, chief." "The Quilty show is on a one-hour delay." "Hello, The Cave, the utmost in underground entertainment, how can I" "Oh." "Sorry." "Yeah, sweetie, he's right here." "Johnny, it's for you." "It's Mickey's son." "Speak, dead man." "Bring the suit, punk." "That is, if you want to see your little Miss Muffet all in one piece." "What makes you think I care?" "A juggler has balls, doesn't he?" "Don't make me laugh, pretty boy." "She's got yours and tight." "Mickey, I don't think I like your son" "He scares me." "Now, now, he just wants to do what's right for us." "He's got a big heart beneath all that blubber." "The suit-- Damnation's Hole, two hours!" "All right, you really crossed the line this time, Sluggo." "All right, I'll be there." "But I'm warning you, it's gonna get ugly." "Good, you'll know what it feels like to be me." "He has mean nostrils, have you noticed?" "He's a good egg, he's just a little hard-boiled." "Two hours!" "Not like you Mickey." "You're boiled to perfection." "Sunny side up." "Oh." "Don't get all clingy now." "Mickey needs his space, Mama." "You heard the man-- Give him some room, bitch!" "Hey, hey, hey, hey." "I think she gets your point." "She's not that bad, she's just a tad pushy." "You and Bliss I got to tolerate, at least until I get that suit and I'm in charge." "But her, I don't got to tolerate." "All I got to do to her is kick her bony butt to the curb!" "Here, get out!" "Get out of the car!" "Thanks for the wheels, Earth slut!" "Mickey!" "Mickey!" "I'll have 'em all marching to the sound of Sluggo's jukebox when I get that suit, a whole planet of zombies here to do Sluggo's bidding!" "I can't believe I'm hearing this." "In this perfect world, why would you want to" "Don't you get it, old man?" "You must have short circuited a few wires while you were in Hell." "As bad as I am, you're even worse." "All right, let's finish this thing, right here, right now." "We'll give 'em the old cherry smash." "Let's rage!" "Every bad deed we ever did was because Johnny was trying to imitate his old man." "You're the original bad ass." "What we are, you made us." "I'm just following your example, pops." "I'm you!" "No." "No." "No." "Johnny." "Soda." "Ole, Matador!" "You almost got yourself killed." "For your protection." "Gimme that" " You cats lay low, all right?" "Stay out of my way." "Leave the suit!" "Take the girl!" "Now!" "It's not Bliss!" "Soda-- I warned you, man." "Tough break, kid." "Johnny!" "Hey, I'm sorry about this." "Oh, how I've been waiting for this moment!" " I got you, you cocky, cool bastard!" " Traitor!" "With this suit, I'll be the Ghastliest One in the universe!" "Ghastly indeed!" "And for being such a good sport, we're sending you and your crooning corpse-dad on an all-expenses-paid one-way trip to Hades, where you'll enjoy a warm, make that hot, family reunion, courtesy of Sluggo!" "Who's grinning now, Mickey?" "I don't know what came over me." "We see you, Johnny." "We're coming." "Forget about me..." "Save Bliss!" "I died, son." "Hang in there, buddy!" "Where'd you go?" "Bliss!" "Where are you?" "You're a good boy." "You got a good heart." "I want you to follow it." "I want you to find that girl." "And don't fail her like I failed you." "I'm sorry, son." "I love you, Dad." "Oh, come on!" "Sorry." "I never wanted to go back home." "It's better to rule in Hell than serve in Heaven." "I only did what the rest of you didn't have the guts to do!" "Get off me, you banshee bitch!" "No." "Come on!" "Come on!" "Let's go!" "Come on, I'm standing right here!" "I'm standing here!" "Come on!" "Let's go!" "Come on-- let's go!" "Don't you know it's rude to leave a girl hanging?" "Today has been a day of unexpected sacrifice." "A day of lost friends and family." "Let's remember... that there is no greater love than to lay down one's life for a friend." "And when great deeds are remembered on this planet, one name will stand above all others." "Our friend, the soda jerk," "Chip." "He may have come off as square, but he never once turned his back on a fight." "He never gave up on what he thought was right." "Beautiful." "So may Chip's memory, bravery and sacrifice be forever seared on our hearts." "He's killing me." "And may the spot where Chip fell be hallowed ground, for here lies... one of Earth's most noblest creatures." "I wish my mother could hear this." "Why you no good four-flusher!" "I should have known you just fainted!" "You missed me by a mile, X." "Once a soda jerk, always a soda..." "Jerk!" "Oh man." "Am I a Ghastly One now?" "Oh, you'll be a Ghastly One all right, after I get my hands on you." "Uh-oh..." "Who's the skirt?" "That's our Queen Betty, the leader of our people and the essence of our planet." "Right on." "Jonathan Xavier..." "Come closer." "Oh, that's not good-- She's using his full name, that is not good." "Johnny..." "I have been watching you." "We had an agreement which you have broken more than once." "Come on..." "Which is why you are here." "Look, I'm trying my best down here, you know?" "I am deaf to pleading and excuses." "Young lady..." "No tears nor prayers shall purchase out abuses." "Nice try, doll." "Johnny, your father understood this and accepted the terms." "Now you must do the same." "Before you pass final judgment, let me offer something." "This doesn't belong to me and I want to give it back." "Someday when you have proven yourself unselfish, mercies shall be given to you." "The unselfish act." "We're going home!" "Hey babe, next time you're in town and wanna see the best show this side of Mars, look me up." "What?" "Oh, what's wrong, honey?" "I wanted to be a Ghastly One." "Relax, little buddy, there's gonna be more gangs, more gigs." "More girls." "Yeah." "Young man, where are you going?" "No offense, Queenie, but it's Squaresville back there, man." "Bliss and I decided, my old man was right and we're gonna make Earth our new home, for better or worse." "Let's fade, baby." "To black." "Undisciplined, irreverent..." "Tasteless!" "Just like your father." "Far out!" "I don't know about you guys, but I feel like celebrating." "What do you say we hit the road to Vegas for a little wedding party?" "Chip could be the best man." "Do you mean it?" "♪ Here we go" "♪ Baby we're on our way" "♪ Drivin' 'cross the desert just to have some fun ♪" "♪ Here we go" "♪ Baby we're on our way" "♪ Drivin' up to Vegas-- Gonna have some fun ♪" "♪ Yeah ♪ Yeah we're gonna shoot some craps ♪" "♪ Yeah ♪ Yeah and play roulette perhaps ♪" "♪ Tearin' up the town until we all collapse ♪" "♪ 'Cause firstly and lastly ♪" "♪ There ain't no more Ghastly One ♪" "Hey." "Hey." "Can we give you a ride?" "That would be wonderful." "Just completely wonderful." "Don't forget to buckle up." "My hero." "♪ Here we go" "♪ Baby let's break the rules ♪" "♪ Bop shi waddy waddy" "♪ Bop shi waddy waddy ♪ Here we go" "♪ Baby breaking' all the rules ♪" "♪ Bop shi waddy waddy" "♪ Bop shi waddy waddy" "♪ Hey where do I know you from?" "♪" "♪ Medfield High School ♪ You played the drum" "You were on the football cheerleading squad." "And you're the one who everybody said was odd." "♪ I was kinda shy ♪ And had a lot of zits" "♪ I had the biggest hair ♪ ♪ The biggest" "♪ You would always sit behind me on the bus ♪" "♪ But now I'll sit beside you as you come with us ♪" "♪ But firstly and lastly ♪" "♪ Yeah firstly and lastly ♪" "♪ Yeah firstly and lastly ♪" "♪ Ah-Uh... ♪ I still am the ghastly one!" "♪" "♪ Oh Johnny" "♪ Oh Johnny" "♪ Johnny..." "That has got to be the stupidest kid on the planet." "He actually likes it there." "Can you believe that?" "He wants to stay." "Undisciplined, irreverent..." "Tasteless!" "As you leave the theater, folks, please be careful." "Don't let this happen to your car." "Be sure to remove the speaker before you leave." "If you should accidentally pull a speaker loose, please turn it in at our snack bar or box office." "Thank you."