" I would never eat a rat." " A mink is not a rat." "A mouse is a mouse, and I don't eat it, man." "How do you know?" "I pay attention, man, and I don't eat mouse." "Okay, did you ever eat horse salami?" "Sure." "They call it horse... but where would they get all those horses?" " So they make horse salami out of mice?" " No, out of mink." "The Chinese eat anything that moves:" "Monkeys, snakes, bugs, worms, everything." "When you order Kung Pao, you don't know for shit what it is." "Like, one time I ate a bat." " Bull." " No, really." "Me and Blanka were in Bangkok once... and there was this stand." "Charcoal, a grill." "Kind of a Thai hot dog stand." "And they were frying something like... squab or quail, and man, it smelled so good." "It was dipped in some kind of bubbly batter." "So we each ordered one, and they wrapped it in a leaf." "And while I'm eating the guy grabs more out of the fridge." "Gutted, skinned bats:" "Plop into the batter, then into the oil." " I'm gonna barf." " Sorry." "We almost lost it, too." "Man, you should have seen Blanka." "You can never be sure what it is when it's fried in batter." "How did it taste?" "Kind of like Kentucky Fried Chicken." "Evening, Czech customs." "What are you carrying?" "Furniture." "Can I see the registration?" "Here's the permit." "Let's have a look." " Drive on." " Thank you." "Breclav, Czech Republic" "So fucking lucky!" " We're so fucking lucky!" " I thought we were history." " Know what I thought?" " What?" "That a person takes risks like this... so he can visit Thailand and eat deep-fried bat." "Isn't that weird?" "Come on!" "I'm in your face, spook!" "Get it?" "You screwed up." " Hey, hold on." " What?" " Where are you taking it?" " Should I leave it in the woods?" "I told you to get them all out." " Don't fuck with me, man." " You don't fuck with me." "What are you trying to prove?" "You'd pitch the kid in a ditch?" "I can't believe it." "He's got no chance anyway." " Know what kind of trouble you're in?" " Me?" "This is our problem." "If the cops stop us, we're screwed." "You almost barf over fried bats but you can stomach this!" "Look how he's looking around." "Okay then, we'll take him to the Red Cross." "Or we can call "People in Need."" "We are in need." "Fuck!" "This is a one-way ticket to the joint." "I don't know about you, but I do help people in need." "You're losing it." "They pay me, and I help save their necks." " My conscience is clear." " So pull out a tit and feed the kid." "PAWN SHOP" "PAWN SHOP" "This is the last time, man." "He knows it is." "Bullshit." "He'll go screw his grandma and come back later." "What was that supposed to mean, man?" ""Yes, sir, I understand"?" "Or was that "Kiss my ass"?" " You better watch it, asshole!" " Eman, he knows... it's the last time." "This is our territory." "Right, you little prick?" "How much do I get?" "The radio only works in the car... you ripped it off from." "So I'll give you 20." "80 for this, and 200 for the phones, that's 300." "Here's 200." "Now beat it." "Anybody got an uncle in the States they want to call?" "All I got is a brother in jail, and he don't pick up." "Hey, stick it in the handsfree." "Bara here, what's your name?" " Hi, I'm Lubos." " Hi, Lubos." " And I'm Eman." " Lada's here, too." " I am too shy with all of you." " Eman's got a fantastic routine." "Bara, baby." "Eman can suck himself off." "Does that spark your fantasy?" " I fucking told you to fuck off!" " Get lost!" "This is sales tax, man." "Dork!" "Those junkies are nothing but trouble." "Can you hold on a sec?" " I'll switch it off." " Leave it alone!" " Hey, my mom's here." " Maybe she'll learn something." " Hi." " We got a problem." " What the..." " It's cool." "Got any formula?" "Know anybody who'd like to buy a baby?" "Stop!" "Leave that carriage alone!" "Where are you going with the carriage?" "Stop yelling at her." "She was taking the carriage." "You are stealing kids here?" "These days, people steal kids and sell them in foreign countries." "What's going on here?" " Were you trying to steal this baby?" " That's not true." "You take your baby, and you come with me." "And the rest of you go back to enjoying yourselves." "Damn it, why did you do it?" "Franta, I just wanted to get him under cover." "Why are you taking my employer's baby?" "They gave me this job." "It was raining." "Mila, you're lying, and you know it." " Sorry." "I won't do it again." " Well, I hope not." "Scat!" "Hey, I can't see." "Look, there's Poborsky, your namesake." "Did you see that?" "Lmpossible!" "Did you see that?" " Franta, are you going to eat?" " Yeah." " Should I heat up the soup?" " Yeah." "Fine." "What's the matter?" "Nothing." " What would be the matter?" " Your voice is kind of funny." "Funny how?" "I don't know." "It seems somehow different." "Are you okay?" "Want a roll or bread?" "Idiot!" "He was offside!" "Clearly offside." "No bread." " Where are you sitting?" " Across from you." "Gonna watch me eat?" " You never watch me eat." " I want to today." "You know how ugly I eat." "You're gonna be sick." " Franta, I have to talk to you." " Can't it wait till I eat?" "Fine, it will wait." "I'm really gonna start eating." "You're crying." " I told you so." " Eat!" "Franta..." "I need a baby." "I'll die if I don't get a baby." "I'll do something... and they'll arrest me." "Something will happen to somebody." "You want me to turn off the TV, don't you?" "No, I don't." "You know you can't have a baby." "And we can't adopt one because I got a record." "I'm such an idiot!" "Such a stupid fucking jerk!" "It's soccer's fault." "If I wasn't a fan, I wouldn't have no record." "But I can't even be a real fan!" "Germany's off limits, Italy, too." "And do you know why?" "Because of the Colonel." "He always gets me in deep shit." "Gets me drunk and shouts:" ""Hit them, hit them hard!"" "So I do it because I'm seeing red." "I'm such a stupid jerk." "The police won't even hire me." "So I got to work security catching kids swiping gum from candy stores." "How can you stand to be with me... watching me eat like a pig?" "And you sit there crying... because we can't adopt a baby boy." "A little champ." "Can you forgive me, Mila?" "Can you?" "Life is so fucked up!" "How can I not be a fan when life is so fucked?" "I'll tell you something." "There ain't no God." "Can't be when you can't have no kids." "And every goddamn Gypsy spook's got 10." "There ain't no God." "That's why I'm a fan, Mila." "You're not gonna leave me, are you?" "Goal." "Oto..." "Today we shall discuss a fascinating topic:" "Migration, emigration, immigration." "Each of you here knows at least one family... which includes an emigrant." "In The Children of Herakles, Euripides wrote about emigrants... and that theme runs through human history like a leitmotif." "We've called the police... and they'll organize a search." "You shouldn't give up hope." "Hi!" "Hello, Mom?" "What?" "A tumor caused the attack, but it isn't malignant." "We can monitor it, it's possible to live with." "Later, we can operate to remove the tumor." "But I'll be honest with you... it's quite risky." "He might not survive." "Where is he?" " We'll see in the morning." " Did he say anything?" "He wants to divorce Vera." "Who's Vera." " And to talk to Martin." " Who's Martin?" "Your brother." "Why didn't you ever tell me?" "I feel like an outsider." "Am I really your daughter?" " Where does my brother live?" " Sorry, I can't." "Because I don't know." "He and your dad don't speak." "Never even write at Christmas." "I really don't know where he is." "I haven't seen him for years." "Do you know him?" "Oh, my God!" "You look just like your father." "What are you trying to do to me?" "Nice shoes." "Know what they cost me?" "I don't know, five bucks?" "Only 200 crowns at the Vietnamese market." "Welcome home." " Which way are you taking us?" " The normal way, to Zizkov." "Pull over!" "That's the standard charge." "And the standard charge for robbery is three to five years." " And that's what you'll get." " Mom, please." "I bet they call you Jack, eh?" "Jack the Rip-Off." "The toilet is across the corridor, but the view is a dream." "A picture of Dad?" "Only because you took it." "At the Film Academy, remember?" " Do you still take pictures?" " I took shots of you, too." "I don't look at myself anymore." "Mom, I has something..." "Have something." "Have something for you from Australia." " A present?" " A present." "A present." "Close your eyes." "Oh, I love presents!" "The ones you sent when the Commies were here smelled so unusual." "I always smelled them first." "But this... this is..." "Open!" "It's absolutely fantastic!" "Give me that wig!" "Hey!" "Hi, Mom!" " What lovely kitsch." " Are you still a collector?" "Now it's my turn." "Take a look at this." "What a bargain!" "The sauerkraut." "I'm burning it." "Help yourself." "Pork, dumplings, and sauerkraut." "No burgers here!" "Maybe it'll sound a bit silly, but I don't eat meat." "Are you trying to piss me off?" "Are you Muslim or what?" "No." "Think of it like I'm on a diet." " Enjoy the meal." " It looks ridiculous." "Are we Russians?" "Eating only cabbage?" "Have a dumpling." "Have at least one for your elderly mother." "Okay, fine." " How about some gravy?" " No, no gravy!" "Just a little." "At least you still drink beer." "It's good, Mom." "Really it is." "If you go with me, I'll have another dumpling." "Okay, two." "I'd even gladly eat a piece of meat." "Just come with me." "You'll know what to say." "Your dad wants to see you, not me." "And what about Hanka?" " She won't be there?" " Yeah, sure." "Little Hanka." "When your dad kicks the bucket... maybe you'll get a chance for a second serve." "What's that supposed to mean?" "You know what it means." "God damn it, do you even realize what you're saying?" "I didn't mean it like that." "I've been out of it since you came." "I don't know what I'm saying." "Sit down." "I'm really sorry." "I'll go with you to see him." "We'll go there together." "Hear that?" " What?" " It's calling us." "Don't you hear it?" "It misses us." "It wants to be inside you." " You don't hear it?" " No." "Downstairs at the pub a cool one is calling to us." "Chestnuts bloom on Sundays." " And are roasted?" " In the fall." " Hello, I'm Mila Kovac." " I'm Milan." "No names, man!" "The money first." "Is he hungry?" "I think he pissed himself." "Come here." "Has he got a name?" "Don't know." "You'll be called Franta, after your father." "And you wanted to leave him in the woods." "Such a good deed." "I'm completely overcome." " Mila!" " Hi." "I'm home." "Wow, it's all spruced up here." "Franta!" " Where's the cat?" " At my mom's." "You got rid of the cat?" "It stank here, and all that hair." "That was sudden." "What was that?" "It was Franta." "Me?" " You got something to tell me?" " No, to show you." "What have you done?" "It's not like you think." "I'm on probation, and you pull a stunt like this?" "You stole a baby!" "I didn't steal him, I bought him." "At a boutique?" "Or was it the deli?" "My God, they'll lock us up!" "No, he's ours, believe me." "I withdrew our savings and bought him." "His parents died, some refugees." "They found him in a trashcan." "No one wanted him, so I bought him." "Come have a look at him, Daddy." "You think you can just keep him?" "No one will find out." " You'll never go outside?" " Not at first, no." "What if he gets sick?" "He's mine, and no one can take him!" "You aren't even happy." "Yes, I am." "Don't you even want to see him?" "My God, he's black!" "Just dark and he'll lighten up some." "How?" "Michael Jackson spent millions trying to lighten up!" "Don't shout." " Know what his name is?" " Ronaldo!" "Dad looks as festive as if this were a normal family reunion." " If she gets out of line, I'm leaving." " Of course." "Why that terrible wig?" "I wanted to be prettier." "They're here." "Well, go let them in." "I can't." "They've never seen me before." "Oto!" "Relax, little ones." "Everything will be just fine." "I'll let them in." "Hi, Dad." "Welcome, Martin." "Hi, Vera." "Welcome." "Come on in." "We live downstairs again." " We got the house back." " Yeah?" "Who's "we"?" "Come in, come right in." "Of course, the Commies left and we got the house back." "You remember Hanka, of course." " Hi, Hanka." " Hi, Martin." "Thank you." "Nice to see you again." " And this is Lenka." " I'm your sister." " Your brother." " Pleased to make your acquaintance." " We could be less formal." " I was thinking of your mom." " I'm the wife." " Mom!" "Pretty, very pretty." " Shall we sit?" " Great." " My legs swell up like tree trunks." " Let's sit down." "Would you like wine, or coffee, or refreshments?" "I still can't believe you're here." "I'll take a beer." "Is that a problem?" "You know wine gives me heartburn." "White wine." "We don't drink beer much." "But I got some for the plumber." "Oto, is there any beer left?" "I'll go see." "You have lovely new hair." "When do you go under the knife?" " You look just fine." " Appearances can be deceiving." "Please sit." "Martin." "Thanks." "Just a touch more." "Well, Oto, what have you been doing the past 20 years?" "It wasn't always easy." "Oto was ousted from the university." "I taught at an elementary school for a while." "When a man has support, he can overcome anything." "Oto is like a phoenix." "Always rising from the scorched earth around him." "With fluffy new feathers, right?" "Guess who was in one of my civics classes?" "Lenin." " Who?" " No, really." "Although I was fired from the faculty for political reasons..." "I taught civics." "That's the first paradox." "And the second paradox?" "I taught civics to Lenin!" "Alive?" "Is it really that serious?" "Dad, do you always have to be so funny?" "Wait, the main paradox is coming!" "I'm not sure if this is the best time for jokes." "Paradox number three:" "He was as black as coal!" "He was a little boy from Angola or Zaire... the son of a diplomat." "His last name was Omembe, but his first name was Lenin." "It was an old family tradition to name firstborn sons... after great shamans and spiritual fathers." "So I taught Lenin Omembe." "And it wasn't easy:" ""Where's your homework, Lenin?" "Be quiet, Lenin!"" "A colleague wrote in the class register:" ""Today Lenin ran around class knocking over chairs."" "Then she had to erase it." "I wonder where Lenin is these days." "What about you?" "Still translating?" "Sometimes, but I'm usually... enjoying my well-deserved rest while the Gypsy tenants are kicking up a racket." "What about you?" "How's life?" "I can't complain." "I do what I like, and it pays the bills." "Do you still take pictures?" "You never believed I could make a living at it." "That's true." "But you stuck to your guns." "I guess I take after you." "And your wife?" "What's her name?" "Peggy." "Like in the Buddy Holly song." "Oh, Mom, cut it out." "Oh, I'd love some pickled herring." "But I know there isn't any." "Any kids?" "Am I a grandfather?" "You've been one for 12 years." " And what is it?" " A boy." " Duke." " Duke?" "You know, like Duke Kahanamoku." " Who's that?" " He's a surfing guru." "I've never even seen a picture of his wife or kid." "The cobbler's kids go barefoot, eh?" "So you make a living with your camera?" "Why keep asking when he already said so?" "He's no X-ray technician, either." "A real photojournalist who sells pictures to famous magazines." " Don't exaggerate." " Don't you want to be proud of him?" "Where's your camera?" "We could have taken a group picture." "Real photographers can sniff out newsworthy occasions... like this." " I guess you're surprised I made it." " No, I..." "Well, a little." "By the way, Peggy says hello to everyone." "I forgot." "We say hello, too." "A big hello to the hardworking girl from her mother-in-law." "We'll have to kick the bucket before she comes." "Business takes a backseat to a death in the family." "Or a wedding." " And Peggy is nice?" " Sure she is." "She's not capable of any shenanigans... any surprises." "A person has to get burned a couple of times... before he knows what's good for him." "If it's not too late." " And what do you do, Hanka?" " I graduated in sociology." "Now I work at a refugee center." " Refugees?" " We help refugees... and immigrants... and all other people in need." "And we take humanitarian aid to crisis areas... like Chechnya, Afghanistan, Bosnia..." "Gypsytown and Gypsyville, too?" "I'd like to request aid, too, miss." "I'm also a person in need." "I also feel threatened... day in and day out." "Zizkov used to be a decent place to live in Prague." "But now?" "Everywhere you look, there's nothing but soot." "You know what I think?" "Nothing but immigrants from Slovakia and Romania... and other armpits of the world." "Nothing but Gypsies." "I've got nothing against them... but it's hard to sleep at night." "Could you help me?" "Maybe a small contribution?" "Something for sleeping pills... or maybe a trained pit bull?" "In my apartment building, I'm the ethnic minority." "You're welcome to visit... but I must warn you, after 9:00 p.m., I open the door to no one." "I wonder if your humanitarian organization..." " Mom, please." "...supports only the influx... or can a person in need like me... count on a little organized outflow?" "Is there a dam in the works?" " Let's please change the subject." " Why?" "I'd like to change the subject!" "So talk, then!" "Well, Lenka is a dancer." "Did I say something inappropriate?" "I apologize." "We're just having a chat, right?" "Wouldn't you like to dance for us?" " Come on." " Mom, I'm an immigrant, too." "But you fit in nicely, don't you?" "You assimilated." "So much so you won't even eat pork and dumplings!" "What do you take pictures of?" "I really don't very much." "I have a small shop in Byron Bay where I rent surfboards." "Sometimes I take pictures and occasionally even sell one to a magazine." "I lived here before you did." "I know how nice and quiet it is." "Try living where I do for a couple of days." "Who will help me?" "And all this time, I've owned half a villa." "That's what I call masochism." "Anyway, we met today for a specific reason." "Oto." "Vera, I'd like us to get a divorce." "I didn't say anything that bad, did I?" "I've got nothing against the Vietnamese." "They're quiet, hardworking... and I overlook their tax evasion... because they sell cheap clothes." "Dad's not asking about that." "It's true that our marriage... no longer fulfills its social function." "But why now?" "You haven't cared for years." "I may not be here in a year." "Me, neither." "I'd like to marry Hanka." " What?" " That's nice." "Finally got her wish." "She's surprised." "You plan this all out..." " and now is when you tell me?" " Why not?" "I think it's excellent timing." "I'm beginning to like this." " There's a bit left." " I'll bring you another." "No more." " It gives me gas." " Right." "Let me ask you this:" "Where do I fit in?" "Twenty years ago, a person solved things impulsively." "Plus, I left..." "When the Commies were lounging around down here with no intention of leaving." "But I've got to think about the future." "You get sick, and you never know when." "I'm not going to be left old and alone." "And no one's going to make an Australian out of me." "You can't expect that of an old Russian translator... with a substantial Czech beer habit." "No one can." " If it's about money..." " We've agreed to buy you out." "We've agreed?" "Well, that's not exactly true." "Because I, Vera Horecka, don't agree!" "Can you tell me why?" "A senile whim." " Why are you acting like this?" " Ashamed of me, huh?" "What are you trying to prove?" "This is exactly his style!" "Sitting around the table drinking expensive wine." "Refreshments." "Screw that!" "No one ever thinks about me." "Never!" "You emigrated, and he left me for her." "It was you who convinced me to go." "I know you're right." "I won't let him get to me." "And since you're right, come back there with me... and agree to the divorce." "Rise above it." "I'm asking you, please." "For 20 years you've only sent Christmas cards." "I'm allowed to behave oddly." "And don't ask any favors of me." " Let me go!" " I won't!" " I have to pee." " The bathroom's inside." "I will not sit on the same seat she does." "I've always been on your side." "I hated Dad for what he did." "I knew I could make it... with your help." "With your objectivity and humor." "That's how I remembered you." "Why are you trying to punish someone after all this time?" "Do you know who you're taking revenge on?" "On someone... who might be dead tomorrow." "What happened to you, Mom?" "If you don't go back in there, you're going to lose me, too." "Suit yourself." "Where were you... when I was changing?" "Swimming in the ocean on the other side of the world." " Are you serious?" " Leave me alone!" "Leave me." "Don't change him yet... he's got Pampers on, but feed him." "I'm going shopping." "If I leave him in front of the store, somebody might steal him." "Bye." "Let's go." "We're breaking free... dribbling down field, putting on the moves... zigzagging... and the toe kick... now a header." "Sleepytime, Franta, have this and not a peep!" "Sleepytime!" "Hey there, Colonel!" " What a surprise." " I'm back, dude." "What the fuck's up with you?" "I guess it's true, then." "The guys say you're hiding from your old friends." "No, not me." "You do seem kind of put out." "Gonna invite me in, or what?" " Sparta Praha!" " The champs!" "Me and the guys were wondering..." " if you're even a fan anymore." " What?" " Are you still a fan?" " Of course I am." "What else would I do?" "That ain't enough, son." "I want to hear it: "Fuck yes, I'm a fan!"" "Can't you feel the difference?" "Between "I'm a fan" and "Fuck yes, I'm a fan!"" "I'm a fan, fuck." "You're out of practice." " Mila's coming back in a second." " That's okay." "We weren't expecting visitors." "I'm a visitor?" "Man, I'm the one who got you together." "Who introduced you?" " I'm almost like your priest." " Okay, don't get so excited." "Come on in the kitchen." "You gonna watch TV?" "That's right." " What's wrong?" " It's broken." "Fuck." " Fuck!" "What's wrong with it?" " It shuts off." "What was that?" "What?" " You didn't hear it?" " Hear what?" "Some whining." "My son's sleeping in there." "Oh, sorry, and here I am." "Since when have you got a son?" "Quite a while now." "Quite a while?" "Well, fuck me!" "You didn't even come for a drink with the guys?" "Are you keeping it secret?" "You got a boy, reinforcements!" "Now the line won't die out." "I'm touched." "What lungs!" "A pureblooded Czech mastiff." "Go Sparta!" "Sorry." "Hey, can I see him?" "He should sleep now." "But he's awake." "I could sing him a lullaby." " You know lullabies?" " Or maybe the National Anthem." "I don't think... we should scare him." "What's up with you, dude?" "Who fucking gave your life meaning?" "I'm like your father." "I have a fucking right to see our son!" " What is it?" " My son." "That's your son?" "Did you screw a chocolate bar?" "I screwed no one." " He's mine and Mila's." " What the hell, man?" "Sure, Mila is Balkan, but she's white as milk." "And you're kind of a Negroid, but still white." "So what's this?" "We adopted him." "And now he's ours." " Gross!" "Tell me I'm dreaming." " You're not." "You're saying that you, a true Spartan... a pureblooded Czech... my son almost... you stuck a nigger cuckoo in your nest?" "Don't talk about him like that." " His name is Franta." " That thing's named Franta?" "Are you nuts?" "I thought you'd be the next leader... but this is betrayal." "Do you know what the guys are gonna say?" "Your name is mud!" "You've spit on everything I devoted my life to." "The reason I was just rotting in jail!" "How could you do this to me?" "Get away from the crib, or I'll slam you!" "What?" "What did you say?" "You got germs." "At least we'll save on gas." "Your soccer days are over, finished!" "Think about this:" "Know what a cuckoo does?" "It shits in another bird's nest." "It eats up everything and hounds the parents to death." "Then it lays its eggs somewhere else." "That'll happen to you." "It takes off and takes you down with it." "You don't understand nothing." "Can't you see it, man?" "All this belongs to the spooks and the slants." "Fine." "I won't take it from them." "That's how the cards were dealt." "But who can blame me if I want this little country... for me and my white kids?" "But I guess you don't understand that." "A time will come when... you'll beg us to take you back." "But screw that, man!" "You'll be alone with your nigger cuckoo." "Here, look." "Read this." "Get it?" "You're deleted, man!" "Hi, Professor." " How are you?" " Fine, thank you." "We thought you'd forgotten us." "Ah, you're from the ministry." " We have to go." "Goodbye." " Good night." "Rest and the medication help." " I wanted to thank you." " For what?" "Personally and for Oto." "Why?" " Because you stayed." " But I didn't." "You're the one who stayed." " You don't regret it, do you?" " No." "Not a minute of it." "But now I'm afraid." "I don't want to be left alone." "But you won't be alone." "You have a beautiful daughter... and Dad will be fine." "What about you, huh?" " Tell me about yourself." " What can I say?" "I didn't finish school." "I set up a small studio." "I shot weddings, kids, dogs." "Then I started shooting the ocean, the waves." "But you know the rest." "It's ancient history, anyway." "I was completely alone there." "Deprived." "I hadn't learned the language because you already knew it." "I just kept waiting for you, and I didn't know what to do." "I didn't know... what was keeping you." "Then you with my father... and you had a baby, my sister." "But it's ancient history now." "How long have you been here?" "I'm just looking in the fridge." "He's sleeping." "Keeping a vigil, Oto?" " Feeling better?" " Much better." "Come in, Martin..." " sit with me." " Would you like some tea?" " Will you have some?" " Sure." "I have something for you." "Everything's there." "I didn't throw away a thing." "Are you sure about that?" "You can take it home... if you want." "To Mom's or... to Queensland?" "Are you happy there?" "What do you think?" "If I tell you I am... will you even believe it?" "I think I passed muster..." " but it wasn't easy." " I can imagine." " Hardly." " Oh, but I can." "I know it was hard." "Washing dishes, years of miserable work at a photo lab... having to go into debt." "Pushing a portfolio no one appreciated." "I followed your every step... until I lost track of you." "But selling those boards explains it all." "You must have suffered." "What a let down, eh?" "Listening to your snoops reporting back... about the mess-ups and failures of your only son... when he could have made something of himself here." "You know that's not true." "It's good that you left, that you didn't rot away here... like the rest of us." "I'm not complaining." "Are you angry that I took an interest in you?" "That I wanted to know how you were?" "I just found out about it." "I really couldn't care less." "I really couldn't." "Here's milk and sugar." "I'll go lie down." "What is it?" "What's happening?" "I'm just going to the bathroom." "So the detainees tried to rob you... in that they tried to steal your cell phone." "But you and the other witnesses detained them?" "Yes." "Over 5,000 it's a felony, under 5,000 a misdemeanor." " The phone cost 10,000." " A new one does." " Does it matter?" " Of course, it does." "What would it cost used?" "About 4,500." "So is that a felony?" "No, it's not." "So they get off as usual!" "I must be dreaming." "I caught the crooks red-handed... we risked... bringing them here... so that you can write a report... and they walk?" "We understand, but imagine doing this day in and day out." " Nothing surprises us anymore." " Well, it surprises me." "Go check on them." "Man, why me again?" "Take their clothes." "Let them be naked if they want!" " Your turn's next." " Yeah." "You want to strip?" "Go ahead." "But I'm taking your clothes." "Don't fucking touch them!" "He's got a right to his stuff." "It's fucking freezing!" "We know our rights!" "We protest this harassment." " Stop fooling around with us." " Fuck that!" "We'll get pneumonia." "He's naked, man!" "This is harassment, man." "Har-ass-ment!" "We know our rights, pig, and we got a right... to a snack, and to some tea or coffee, man!" "We been rotting here like dicks for four hours." " Five hours, man." " Yeah, five hours, man... without goddamn fucking water, man!" "Fork over our stuff, man." "Oh, shit!" "Don't touch me." "I think it's broken." "I saw it, man." "That's police brutality!" " This is a police state!" " I need an X-ray." "Call a doctor!" "Hang your shorts over that camera again, and you're screwed." "What, man?" "Is that any fucking way to behave?" "Fucking listen to how you talk to us!" "Wait!" " I must have misunderstood you." " We want some tea!" " With lemon!" " And honey!" " What are you doing?" " What do you think?" " Are there any lemons?" " In the drawer." "The gentlemen requested honey as well." "They can forget it." "The law gives them the right to tea and lemon." "But no honey." "There are limits." "You take it to them." " No, you." " I'm making it." "We'll play rock, paper, scissors for it." "Hu-man rights!" "Hu-man rights!" "Sit down, please." "I'd like to welcome our guests here today." "The professor is a member of the National League for Democracy." "The military junta sentenced him to forced labor." "After 12 years, while working in the border region... he escaped into territory controlled... by Burmese student opposition groups... and from there to Thailand." " Go ahead." " Marek Vitek, Czech Television." "Professor, how did you escape unarmed from the prison camp... and then survive all alone... in the jungle for several months?" "Petra Binder, Frankfurter Rundschau." "How did you make a living in Germany?" " When's your flight?" " Next week." "Can't you stay?" "The date still isn't set for the operation." " I can't." " Are you sure you're not my dad, bro?" "What?" "How old are you?" " Eighteen." " Then I can't be your dad, sis." "Hey, I got something for you." "Mom, your hands are greasy." " You have to give me one." " Oh, they're beautiful." " Your jacket fell." " Thanks." " Those guys are thieves." " What?" "He said they're thieves." " What's wrong?" " They stole my wallet." "Please, help!" "Thieves." "Catch them!" "Turn out your pockets." " Why should I?" " Quit pretending." "Turn out your pockets!" " Turn out the pockets!" " Stop it, Mom!" "If he didn't do it, he can prove it." "It's too late." "They work as a team." "They pass it from hand to hand... and if you catch one, he says:" ""I don't have anything."" "Anyone could have it." "And you do nothing?" "If I went after them, I could end up... with a knife in my back." "I won't do it." "No way." "And this?" "It's obvious." " Why didn't you catch them?" " They vanished." " Hey, slow down!" " Slow?" "Like how you were running?" "Just relax, we'll clear this up." "Damn straight!" "At the police station." " But I'm like a policeman." " You?" "You just pimp for those assholes while masquerading as a cop." " Hands off!" "Give me my hat!" " Don't touch me." "Give me that nightstick." "Give it back!" " Cut it out." " We're going to the police!" "Let's go." " Get your hands off me!" " Come on!" "Let's go." " How much?" " Where?" "In the wallet, or was it a cell phone?" "Are you messing with me?" "What're you fucking trying to pull, man?" "Was he chasing me, man?" " No, he was chasing you." " Shut up, man!" " You shut up!" " I got nothing." "Cut the shit!" "Show what's in your pockets." "I try to help people just like you." "You should be ashamed of a mentality... that would steal from people who are trying to help you." "People like you only care about their own kind." "For you, this town is a just a hunting ground." "I'm such an ass for trying to do anything." " Enough already, Mom, please." " What do you mean?" "Don't you see what's going on here?" "They ripped off your brother!" "Everybody knows it's happening... but they just whisper in your ear and do nothing." "I swear to you, I'm not lifting another finger for anyone!" " I was running." " Sure you were." "I ran as best I could." " You wanted to catch them." " I did." " Why didn't you?" " They split up." " Sure they did." " They did." " That's enough!" " He was covering for them." " That's hard to prove." " I know that!" "Exactly!" " I'm at the police." " Sure, make a call." "It's my wife." "Relax, Mila, I didn't do anything." "I'm a witness." "How long will you be?" "I don't really know, but I'm helping them, see?" "Should I hide Franta?" "I'll take him to your mom's." "Don't hide anything!" "Don't hide him anywhere." "I say he's in on it." "Just calm down, Mila!" "I'll just be running along, okay?" "Just sit down so we can write this up." "Check this out." "I'm at your disposal." "Where are you right now?" "Zizkov?" "Go to 12 Nejedleho St... home of Franta Fikes." " Hello." "May we come in?" " What's going on?" "We'd just like to ask you some questions." "That's not ours." "Mr. Fikes, I see you have a record... and are on probation." "What's that got to do with this?" "Why don't you tell us?" "Thank you." "We won't trouble you any longer." "I try to help people, not steal from them!" "Am I some thief?" "I've been clean a long time." "I'm trying to make up for what I done." "It's not my fault you don't want me." "I always wanted to be one of you!" "Since I can't be, I do as best as I can." "I try to help people as best as I can!" "I don't even watch soccer no more... to keep out of trouble!" "He really is a good guy." "I feel bad now." "We'll wait till morning, till he simmers down." "Sign here." "We'll let you know." "Australia." "How do you like it here?" "You mean, like, right here?" " Where was it?" " In your bag." " What should I do now?" " Have a drink, but let's split." "I feel really stupid, officer." "Tell him I'm really sorry." "Well, thank you." "Goodbye." "That was so dumb." "Forget about it." "Hey, what was my mom like?" " What do you mean?" " Come on, tell me." "She was great." "But then she picked up my father." "My father, too." "But if she hadn't, I wouldn't be here." " I didn't say a thing." " Are we gonna talk or drink?" "You people really can drink." "Terrible!" "But I really don't mind." "Lada, you sell it for 2,000 and you only gave me 500 for it." "Well, someone ripped him off." "Maybe it was a mistake." "You took off, so I thought they made you." "Man, this place is played out." "Prague 2 is all Chinese dives... and the slants got it covered." "Albanians got the train station, Arabs got Wenceslas Square." "Makes you scared to stick your nose outside." "Lada, what does a giant panda eat?" "Little pandas." "Pandas eat bamboo, man." "See them yellow pigs, man?" "Someday, man, it's all gonna be theirs." "We'll all be yellow, man, and slant-eyed." "They ain't Vietnamese, man." "Chinese?" "Got to watch out for Chinks." "They stick together." "Bullshit, man, they're tourists." "See the camera?" "Japs." "Come on, man." "I'll take the guy." "Just a moment." "Hey, there, you yellow runt." "Put that camera on the ground nice and slow." "Do it!" "The bag, too." "Unless you both want your nuts cut off." "He don't understand, man." "Bet he does now." "What the fuck was that?" "Police!" "Please, don't take my baby." "You can't do this to me." "He's mine, understand?" "He's not yours, and you know it." "His parents are dead." "He'd have died if I didn't take care of him." "He's mine, and you have no right to take him." "Can you imagine what his mother's been going through?" "I'm his mother!" "For two months, she thought her baby was dead." "How do you know he's hers?" "The evidence we've collected proves it." "You hear that?" "I'd give him everything." "Everything." "What will his mother give him?" "Sleeping pills so they can beg at the train station." "They're right, Mila." "Imagine being his mom." "We thought she wasn't alive, but now..." "Don't touch me!" "This is your fault!" "You criminal!" "You loser!" "I hate you!" "I want my baby." "A MONTH LATER" "God damn it, you bit me." "Who the hell do you think you are?" "Think you can bite me?" "Think I'm paying you to bite my dick?" "That was a completely normal blow job." "No one ever complains." "Oh, right!" "Guys pay you to bite their dicks?" "Hey, if you didn't like it, that's your problem." "Hand over my money now." "I don't strip for free." "Give me my money." "This is the last time I'm telling you." "Franta!" "Give me my money, you bitch!" "Damn it, Franta, where are you?" "This prick almost killed me." "You hit her, huh?" "You hit a girl?" "Wait, what's with you, man?" "Girls, you won't say anything will you?" "I really like this job." "Quiet." "Want some coffee?" "I'll go get some." "Like some help?" "Hot chocolate, please." "Thank you." "You're very kind." "Can I help you drink it?" "How did it happen?" "We were leaving the movies and it was dark... and there was this ditch and when I fell..." "I tried to grab hold with my hands." "Can I have some more?" "Sparta!" "So you've come back, son." "Sparta Prague, ole!" "Black motherfucker!" "End the game!" " I would never eat a rat." " A mink is not a rat." "A mouse is a mouse, and I don't eat it, man." "How do you know?" "I pay attention, man, and I don't eat mouse." "Okay, did you ever eat horse salami?" "Sure." "They call it horse... but where would they get all those horses?" " So they make horse salami out of mice?" " No, out of mink." "The Chinese eat anything that moves:" "Monkeys, snakes, bugs, worms, everything." "When you order Kung Pao, you don't know for shit what it is." "Like, one time I ate a bat." " Bull." " No, really." "Me and Blanka were in Bangkok once... and there was this stand." "Charcoal, a grill." "Kind of a Thai hot dog stand." "And they were frying something like... squab or quail, and man, it smelled so good." "It was dipped in some kind of bubbly batter." "So we each ordered one, and they wrapped it in a leaf." "And while I'm eating the guy grabs more out of the fridge." "Gutted, skinned bats:" "Plop into the batter, then into the oil." " I'm gonna barf." " Sorry." "We almost lost it, too." "Man, you should have seen Blanka." "You can never be sure what it is when it's fried in batter." "How did it taste?" "Kind of like Kentucky Fried Chicken." "Evening, Czech customs." "What are you carrying?" "Furniture." "Can I see the registration?" "Here's the permit." "Let's have a look." " Drive on." " Thank you." "Breclav, Czech Republic" "So fucking lucky!" " We're so fucking lucky!" " I thought we were history." " Know what I thought?" " What?" "That a person takes risks like this... so he can visit Thailand and eat deep-fried bat." "Isn't that weird?" "Come on!" "I'm in your face, spook!" "Get it?" "You screwed up." " Hey, hold on." " What?" " Where are you taking it?" " Should I leave it in the woods?" "I told you to get them all out." " Don't fuck with me, man." " You don't fuck with me." "What are you trying to prove?" "You'd pitch the kid in a ditch?" "I can't believe it." "He's got no chance anyway." " Know what kind of trouble you're in?" " Me?" "This is our problem." "If the cops stop us, we're screwed." "You almost barf over fried bats but you can stomach this!" "Look how he's looking around." "Okay then, we'll take him to the Red Cross." "Or we can call "People in Need."" "We are in need." "Fuck!" "This is a one-way ticket to the joint." "I don't know about you, but I do help people in need." "You're losing it." "They pay me, and I help save their necks." " My conscience is clear." " So pull out a tit and feed the kid." "PAWN SHOP" "PAWN SHOP" "This is the last time, man." "He knows it is." "Bullshit." "He'll go screw his grandma and come back later." "What was that supposed to mean, man?" ""Yes, sir, I understand"?" "Or was that "Kiss my ass"?" " You better watch it, asshole!" " Eman, he knows... it's the last time." "This is our territory." "Right, you little prick?" "How much do I get?" "The radio only works in the car... you ripped it off from." "So I'll give you 20." "80 for this, and 200 for the phones, that's 300." "Here's 200." "Now beat it." "Anybody got an uncle in the States they want to call?" "All I got is a brother in jail, and he don't pick up." "Hey, stick it in the handsfree." "Bara here, what's your name?" " Hi, I'm Lubos." " Hi, Lubos." " And I'm Eman." " Lada's here, too." " I am too shy with all of you." " Eman's got a fantastic routine." "Bara, baby." "Eman can suck himself off." "Does that spark your fantasy?" " I fucking told you to fuck off!" " Get lost!" "This is sales tax, man." "Dork!" "Those junkies are nothing but trouble." "Can you hold on a sec?" " I'll switch it off." " Leave it alone!" " Hey, my mom's here." " Maybe she'll learn something." " Hi." " We got a problem." " What the..." " It's cool." "Got any formula?" "Know anybody who'd like to buy a baby?" "Stop!" "Leave that carriage alone!" "Where are you going with the carriage?" "Stop yelling at her." "She was taking the carriage." "You are stealing kids here?" "These days, people steal kids and sell them in foreign countries." "What's going on here?" " Were you trying to steal this baby?" " That's not true." "You take your baby, and you come with me." "And the rest of you go back to enjoying yourselves." "Damn it, why did you do it?" "Franta, I just wanted to get him under cover." "Why are you taking my employer's baby?" "They gave me this job." "It was raining." "Mila, you're lying, and you know it." " Sorry." "I won't do it again." " Well, I hope not." "Scat!" "Hey, I can't see." "Look, there's Poborsky, your namesake." "Did you see that?" "Lmpossible!" "Did you see that?" " Franta, are you going to eat?" " Yeah." " Should I heat up the soup?" " Yeah." "Fine." "What's the matter?" "Nothing." " What would be the matter?" " Your voice is kind of funny." "Funny how?" "I don't know." "It seems somehow different." "Are you okay?" "Want a roll or bread?" "Idiot!" "He was offside!" "Clearly offside." "No bread." " Where are you sitting?" " Across from you." "Gonna watch me eat?" " You never watch me eat." " I want to today." "You know how ugly I eat." "You're gonna be sick." " Franta, I have to talk to you." " Can't it wait till I eat?" "Fine, it will wait." "I'm really gonna start eating." "You're crying." " I told you so." " Eat!" "Franta..." "I need a baby." "I'll die if I don't get a baby." "I'll do something... and they'll arrest me." "Something will happen to somebody." "You want me to turn off the TV, don't you?" "No, I don't." "You know you can't have a baby." "And we can't adopt one because I got a record." "I'm such an idiot!" "Such a stupid fucking jerk!" "It's soccer's fault." "If I wasn't a fan, I wouldn't have no record." "But I can't even be a real fan!" "Germany's off limits, Italy, too." "And do you know why?" "Because of the Colonel." "He always gets me in deep shit." "Gets me drunk and shouts:" ""Hit them, hit them hard!"" "So I do it because I'm seeing red." "I'm such a stupid jerk." "The police won't even hire me." "So I got to work security catching kids swiping gum from candy stores." "How can you stand to be with me... watching me eat like a pig?" "And you sit there crying... because we can't adopt a baby boy." "A little champ." "Can you forgive me, Mila?" "Can you?" "Life is so fucked up!" "How can I not be a fan when life is so fucked?" "I'll tell you something." "There ain't no God." "Can't be when you can't have no kids." "And every goddamn Gypsy spook's got 10." "There ain't no God." "That's why I'm a fan, Mila." "You're not gonna leave me, are you?" "Goal." "Oto..." "Today we shall discuss a fascinating topic:" "Migration, emigration, immigration." "Each of you here knows at least one family... which includes an emigrant." "In The Children of Herakles, Euripides wrote about emigrants... and that theme runs through human history like a leitmotif." "We've called the police... and they'll organize a search." "You shouldn't give up hope." "Hi!" "Hello, Mom?" "What?" "A tumor caused the attack, but it isn't malignant." "We can monitor it, it's possible to live with." "Later, we can operate to remove the tumor." "But I'll be honest with you... it's quite risky." "He might not survive." "Where is he?" " We'll see in the morning." " Did he say anything?" "He wants to divorce Vera." "Who's Vera." " And to talk to Martin." " Who's Martin?" "Your brother." "Why didn't you ever tell me?" "I feel like an outsider." "Am I really your daughter?" " Where does my brother live?" " Sorry, I can't." "Because I don't know." "He and your dad don't speak." "Never even write at Christmas." "I really don't know where he is." "I haven't seen him for years." "Do you know him?" "Oh, my God!" "You look just like your father." "What are you trying to do to me?" "Nice shoes." "Know what they cost me?" "I don't know, five bucks?" "Only 200 crowns at the Vietnamese market." "Welcome home." " Which way are you taking us?" " The normal way, to Zizkov." "Pull over!" "That's the standard charge." "And the standard charge for robbery is three to five years." " And that's what you'll get." " Mom, please." "I bet they call you Jack, eh?" "Jack the Rip-Off." "The toilet is across the corridor, but the view is a dream." "A picture of Dad?" "Only because you took it." "At the Film Academy, remember?" " Do you still take pictures?" " I took shots of you, too." "I don't look at myself anymore." "Mom, I has something..." "Have something." "Have something for you from Australia." " A present?" " A present." "A present." "Close your eyes." "Oh, I love presents!" "The ones you sent when the Commies were here smelled so unusual." "I always smelled them first." "But this... this is..." "Open!" "It's absolutely fantastic!" "Give me that wig!" "Hey!" "Hi, Mom!" " What lovely kitsch." " Are you still a collector?" "Now it's my turn." "Take a look at this." "What a bargain!" "The sauerkraut." "I'm burning it." "Help yourself." "Pork, dumplings, and sauerkraut." "No burgers here!" "Maybe it'll sound a bit silly, but I don't eat meat." "Are you trying to piss me off?" "Are you Muslim or what?" "No." "Think of it like I'm on a diet." " Enjoy the meal." " It looks ridiculous." "Are we Russians?" "Eating only cabbage?" "Have a dumpling." "Have at least one for your elderly mother." "Okay, fine." " How about some gravy?" " No, no gravy!" "Just a little." "At least you still drink beer." "It's good, Mom." "Really it is." "If you go with me, I'll have another dumpling." "Okay, two." "I'd even gladly eat a piece of meat." "Just come with me." "You'll know what to say." "Your dad wants to see you, not me." "And what about Hanka?" " She won't be there?" " Yeah, sure." "Little Hanka." "When your dad kicks the bucket... maybe you'll get a chance for a second serve." "What's that supposed to mean?" "You know what it means." "God damn it, do you even realize what you're saying?" "I didn't mean it like that." "I've been out of it since you came." "I don't know what I'm saying." "Sit down." "I'm really sorry." "I'll go with you to see him." "We'll go there together." "Hear that?" " What?" " It's calling us." "Don't you hear it?" "It misses us." "It wants to be inside you." " You don't hear it?" " No." "Downstairs at the pub a cool one is calling to us." "Chestnuts bloom on Sundays." " And are roasted?" " In the fall." " Hello, I'm Mila Kovac." " I'm Milan." "No names, man!" "The money first." "Is he hungry?" "I think he pissed himself." "Come here." "Has he got a name?" "Don't know." "You'll be called Franta, after your father." "And you wanted to leave him in the woods." "Such a good deed." "I'm completely overcome." " Mila!" " Hi." "I'm home." "Wow, it's all spruced up here." "Franta!" " Where's the cat?" " At my mom's." "You got rid of the cat?" "It stank here, and all that hair." "That was sudden." "What was that?" "It was Franta." "Me?" " You got something to tell me?" " No, to show you." "What have you done?" "It's not like you think." "I'm on probation, and you pull a stunt like this?" "You stole a baby!" "I didn't steal him, I bought him." "At a boutique?" "Or was it the deli?" "My God, they'll lock us up!" "No, he's ours, believe me." "I withdrew our savings and bought him." "His parents died, some refugees." "They found him in a trashcan." "No one wanted him, so I bought him." "Come have a look at him, Daddy." "You think you can just keep him?" "No one will find out." " You'll never go outside?" " Not at first, no." "What if he gets sick?" "He's mine, and no one can take him!" "You aren't even happy." "Yes, I am." "Don't you even want to see him?" "My God, he's black!" "Just dark and he'll lighten up some." "How?" "Michael Jackson spent millions trying to lighten up!" "Don't shout." " Know what his name is?" " Ronaldo!" "Dad looks as festive as if this were a normal family reunion." " If she gets out of line, I'm leaving." " Of course." "Why that terrible wig?" "I wanted to be prettier." "They're here." "Well, go let them in." "I can't." "They've never seen me before." "Oto!" "Relax, little ones." "Everything will be just fine." "I'll let them in." "Hi, Dad." "Welcome, Martin." "Hi, Vera." "Welcome." "Come on in." "We live downstairs again." " We got the house back." " Yeah?" "Who's "we"?" "Come in, come right in." "Of course, the Commies left and we got the house back." "You remember Hanka, of course." " Hi, Hanka." " Hi, Martin." "Thank you." "Nice to see you again." " And this is Lenka." " I'm your sister." " Your brother." " Pleased to make your acquaintance." " We could be less formal." " I was thinking of your mom." " I'm the wife." " Mom!" "Pretty, very pretty." " Shall we sit?" " Great." " My legs swell up like tree trunks." " Let's sit down." "Would you like wine, or coffee, or refreshments?" "I still can't believe you're here." "I'll take a beer." "Is that a problem?" "You know wine gives me heartburn." "White wine." "We don't drink beer much." "But I got some for the plumber." "Oto, is there any beer left?" "I'll go see." "You have lovely new hair." "When do you go under the knife?" " You look just fine." " Appearances can be deceiving." "Please sit." "Martin." "Thanks." "Just a touch more." "Well, Oto, what have you been doing the past 20 years?" "It wasn't always easy." "Oto was ousted from the university." "I taught at an elementary school for a while." "When a man has support, he can overcome anything." "Oto is like a phoenix." "Always rising from the scorched earth around him." "With fluffy new feathers, right?" "Guess who was in one of my civics classes?" "Lenin." " Who?" " No, really." "Although I was fired from the faculty for political reasons..." "I taught civics." "That's the first paradox." "And the second paradox?" "I taught civics to Lenin!" "Alive?" "Is it really that serious?" "Dad, do you always have to be so funny?" "Wait, the main paradox is coming!" "I'm not sure if this is the best time for jokes." "Paradox number three:" "He was as black as coal!" "He was a little boy from Angola or Zaire... the son of a diplomat." "His last name was Omembe, but his first name was Lenin." "It was an old family tradition to name firstborn sons... after great shamans and spiritual fathers." "So I taught Lenin Omembe." "And it wasn't easy:" ""Where's your homework, Lenin?" "Be quiet, Lenin!"" "A colleague wrote in the class register:" ""Today Lenin ran around class knocking over chairs."" "Then she had to erase it." "I wonder where Lenin is these days." "What about you?" "Still translating?" "Sometimes, but I'm usually... enjoying my well-deserved rest while the Gypsy tenants are kicking up a racket." "What about you?" "How's life?" "I can't complain." "I do what I like, and it pays the bills." "Do you still take pictures?" "You never believed I could make a living at it." "That's true." "But you stuck to your guns." "I guess I take after you." "And your wife?" "What's her name?" "Peggy." "Like in the Buddy Holly song." "Oh, Mom, cut it out." "Oh, I'd love some pickled herring." "But I know there isn't any." "Any kids?" "Am I a grandfather?" "You've been one for 12 years." " And what is it?" " A boy." " Duke." " Duke?" "You know, like Duke Kahanamoku." " Who's that?" " He's a surfing guru." "I've never even seen a picture of his wife or kid." "The cobbler's kids go barefoot, eh?" "So you make a living with your camera?" "Why keep asking when he already said so?" "He's no X-ray technician, either." "A real photojournalist who sells pictures to famous magazines." " Don't exaggerate." " Don't you want to be proud of him?" "Where's your camera?" "We could have taken a group picture." "Real photographers can sniff out newsworthy occasions... like this." " I guess you're surprised I made it." " No, I..." "Well, a little." "By the way, Peggy says hello to everyone." "I forgot." "We say hello, too." "A big hello to the hardworking girl from her mother-in-law." "We'll have to kick the bucket before she comes." "Business takes a backseat to a death in the family." "Or a wedding." " And Peggy is nice?" " Sure she is." "She's not capable of any shenanigans... any surprises." "A person has to get burned a couple of times... before he knows what's good for him." "If it's not too late." " And what do you do, Hanka?" " I graduated in sociology." "Now I work at a refugee center." " Refugees?" " We help refugees... and immigrants... and all other people in need." "And we take humanitarian aid to crisis areas... like Chechnya, Afghanistan, Bosnia..." "Gypsytown and Gypsyville, too?" "I'd like to request aid, too, miss." "I'm also a person in need." "I also feel threatened... day in and day out." "Zizkov used to be a decent place to live in Prague." "But now?" "Everywhere you look, there's nothing but soot." "You know what I think?" "Nothing but immigrants from Slovakia and Romania... and other armpits of the world." "Nothing but Gypsies." "I've got nothing against them... but it's hard to sleep at night." "Could you help me?" "Maybe a small contribution?" "Something for sleeping pills... or maybe a trained pit bull?" "In my apartment building, I'm the ethnic minority." "You're welcome to visit... but I must warn you, after 9:00 p.m., I open the door to no one." "I wonder if your humanitarian organization..." " Mom, please." "...supports only the influx... or can a person in need like me... count on a little organized outflow?" "Is there a dam in the works?" " Let's please change the subject." " Why?" "I'd like to change the subject!" "So talk, then!" "Well, Lenka is a dancer." "Did I say something inappropriate?" "I apologize." "We're just having a chat, right?" "Wouldn't you like to dance for us?" " Come on." " Mom, I'm an immigrant, too." "But you fit in nicely, don't you?" "You assimilated." "So much so you won't even eat pork and dumplings!" "What do you take pictures of?" "I really don't very much." "I have a small shop in Byron Bay where I rent surfboards." "Sometimes I take pictures and occasionally even sell one to a magazine." "I lived here before you did." "I know how nice and quiet it is." "Try living where I do for a couple of days." "Who will help me?" "And all this time, I've owned half a villa." "That's what I call masochism." "Anyway, we met today for a specific reason." "Oto." "Vera, I'd like us to get a divorce." "I didn't say anything that bad, did I?" "I've got nothing against the Vietnamese." "They're quiet, hardworking... and I overlook their tax evasion... because they sell cheap clothes." "Dad's not asking about that." "It's true that our marriage... no longer fulfills its social function." "But why now?" "You haven't cared for years." "I may not be here in a year." "Me, neither." "I'd like to marry Hanka." " What?" " That's nice." "Finally got her wish." "She's surprised." "You plan this all out..." " and now is when you tell me?" " Why not?" "I think it's excellent timing." "I'm beginning to like this." " There's a bit left." " I'll bring you another." "No more." " It gives me gas." " Right." "Let me ask you this:" "Where do I fit in?" "Twenty years ago, a person solved things impulsively." "Plus, I left..." "When the Commies were lounging around down here with no intention of leaving." "But I've got to think about the future." "You get sick, and you never know when." "I'm not going to be left old and alone." "And no one's going to make an Australian out of me." "You can't expect that of an old Russian translator... with a substantial Czech beer habit." "No one can." " If it's about money..." " We've agreed to buy you out." "We've agreed?" "Well, that's not exactly true." "Because I, Vera Horecka, don't agree!" "Can you tell me why?" "A senile whim." " Why are you acting like this?" " Ashamed of me, huh?" "What are you trying to prove?" "This is exactly his style!" "Sitting around the table drinking expensive wine." "Refreshments." "Screw that!" "No one ever thinks about me." "Never!" "You emigrated, and he left me for her." "It was you who convinced me to go." "I know you're right." "I won't let him get to me." "And since you're right, come back there with me... and agree to the divorce." "Rise above it." "I'm asking you, please." "For 20 years you've only sent Christmas cards." "I'm allowed to behave oddly." "And don't ask any favors of me." " Let me go!" " I won't!" " I have to pee." " The bathroom's inside." "I will not sit on the same seat she does." "I've always been on your side." "I hated Dad for what he did." "I knew I could make it... with your help." "With your objectivity and humor." "That's how I remembered you." "Why are you trying to punish someone after all this time?" "Do you know who you're taking revenge on?" "On someone... who might be dead tomorrow." "What happened to you, Mom?" "If you don't go back in there, you're going to lose me, too." "Suit yourself." "Where were you... when I was changing?" "Swimming in the ocean on the other side of the world." " Are you serious?" " Leave me alone!" "Leave me." "Don't change him yet... he's got Pampers on, but feed him." "I'm going shopping." "If I leave him in front of the store, somebody might steal him." "Bye." "Let's go." "We're breaking free... dribbling down field, putting on the moves... zigzagging... and the toe kick... now a header." "Sleepytime, Franta, have this and not a peep!" "Sleepytime!" "Hey there, Colonel!" " What a surprise." " I'm back, dude." "What the fuck's up with you?" "I guess it's true, then." "The guys say you're hiding from your old friends." "No, not me." "You do seem kind of put out." "Gonna invite me in, or what?" " Sparta Praha!" " The champs!" "Me and the guys were wondering..." " if you're even a fan anymore." " What?" " Are you still a fan?" " Of course I am." "What else would I do?" "That ain't enough, son." "I want to hear it: "Fuck yes, I'm a fan!"" "Can't you feel the difference?" "Between "I'm a fan" and "Fuck yes, I'm a fan!"" "I'm a fan, fuck." "You're out of practice." " Mila's coming back in a second." " That's okay." "We weren't expecting visitors." "I'm a visitor?" "Man, I'm the one who got you together." "Who introduced you?" " I'm almost like your priest." " Okay, don't get so excited." "Come on in the kitchen." "You gonna watch TV?" "That's right." " What's wrong?" " It's broken." "Fuck." " Fuck!" "What's wrong with it?" " It shuts off." "What was that?" "What?" " You didn't hear it?" " Hear what?" "Some whining." "My son's sleeping in there." "Oh, sorry, and here I am." "Since when have you got a son?" "Quite a while now." "Quite a while?" "Well, fuck me!" "You didn't even come for a drink with the guys?" "Are you keeping it secret?" "You got a boy, reinforcements!" "Now the line won't die out." "I'm touched." "What lungs!" "A pureblooded Czech mastiff." "Go Sparta!" "Sorry." "Hey, can I see him?" "He should sleep now." "But he's awake." "I could sing him a lullaby." " You know lullabies?" " Or maybe the National Anthem." "I don't think... we should scare him." "What's up with you, dude?" "Who fucking gave your life meaning?" "I'm like your father." "I have a fucking right to see our son!" " What is it?" " My son." "That's your son?" "Did you screw a chocolate bar?" "I screwed no one." " He's mine and Mila's." " What the hell, man?" "Sure, Mila is Balkan, but she's white as milk." "And you're kind of a Negroid, but still white." "So what's this?" "We adopted him." "And now he's ours." " Gross!" "Tell me I'm dreaming." " You're not." "You're saying that you, a true Spartan... a pureblooded Czech... my son almost... you stuck a nigger cuckoo in your nest?" "Don't talk about him like that." " His name is Franta." " That thing's named Franta?" "Are you nuts?" "I thought you'd be the next leader... but this is betrayal." "Do you know what the guys are gonna say?" "Your name is mud!" "You've spit on everything I devoted my life to." "The reason I was just rotting in jail!" "How could you do this to me?" "Get away from the crib, or I'll slam you!" "What?" "What did you say?" "You got germs." "At least we'll save on gas." "Your soccer days are over, finished!" "Think about this:" "Know what a cuckoo does?" "It shits in another bird's nest." "It eats up everything and hounds the parents to death." "Then it lays its eggs somewhere else." "That'll happen to you." "It takes off and takes you down with it." "You don't understand nothing." "Can't you see it, man?" "All this belongs to the spooks and the slants." "Fine." "I won't take it from them." "That's how the cards were dealt." "But who can blame me if I want this little country... for me and my white kids?" "But I guess you don't understand that." "A time will come when... you'll beg us to take you back." "But screw that, man!" "You'll be alone with your nigger cuckoo." "Here, look." "Read this." "Get it?" "You're deleted, man!" "Hi, Professor." " How are you?" " Fine, thank you." "We thought you'd forgotten us." "Ah, you're from the ministry." " We have to go." "Goodbye." " Good night." "Rest and the medication help." " I wanted to thank you." " For what?" "Personally and for Oto." "Why?" " Because you stayed." " But I didn't." "You're the one who stayed." " You don't regret it, do you?" " No." "Not a minute of it." "But now I'm afraid." "I don't want to be left alone." "But you won't be alone." "You have a beautiful daughter... and Dad will be fine." "What about you, huh?" " Tell me about yourself." " What can I say?" "I didn't finish school." "I set up a small studio." "I shot weddings, kids, dogs." "Then I started shooting the ocean, the waves." "But you know the rest." "It's ancient history, anyway." "I was completely alone there." "Deprived." "I hadn't learned the language because you already knew it." "I just kept waiting for you, and I didn't know what to do." "I didn't know... what was keeping you." "Then you with my father... and you had a baby, my sister." "But it's ancient history now." "How long have you been here?" "I'm just looking in the fridge." "He's sleeping." "Keeping a vigil, Oto?" " Feeling better?" " Much better." "Come in, Martin..." " sit with me." " Would you like some tea?" " Will you have some?" " Sure." "I have something for you." "Everything's there." "I didn't throw away a thing." "Are you sure about that?" "You can take it home... if you want." "To Mom's or... to Queensland?" "Are you happy there?" "What do you think?" "If I tell you I am... will you even believe it?" "I think I passed muster..." " but it wasn't easy." " I can imagine." " Hardly." " Oh, but I can." "I know it was hard." "Washing dishes, years of miserable work at a photo lab... having to go into debt." "Pushing a portfolio no one appreciated." "I followed your every step... until I lost track of you." "But selling those boards explains it all." "You must have suffered." "What a let down, eh?" "Listening to your snoops reporting back... about the mess-ups and failures of your only son... when he could have made something of himself here." "You know that's not true." "It's good that you left, that you didn't rot away here... like the rest of us." "I'm not complaining." "Are you angry that I took an interest in you?" "That I wanted to know how you were?" "I just found out about it." "I really couldn't care less." "I really couldn't." "Here's milk and sugar." "I'll go lie down." "What is it?" "What's happening?" "I'm just going to the bathroom." "So the detainees tried to rob you... in that they tried to steal your cell phone." "But you and the other witnesses detained them?" "Yes." "Over 5,000 it's a felony, under 5,000 a misdemeanor." " The phone cost 10,000." " A new one does." " Does it matter?" " Of course, it does." "What would it cost used?" "About 4,500." "So is that a felony?" "No, it's not." "So they get off as usual!" "I must be dreaming." "I caught the crooks red-handed... we risked... bringing them here... so that you can write a report... and they walk?" "We understand, but imagine doing this day in and day out." " Nothing surprises us anymore." " Well, it surprises me." "Go check on them." "Man, why me again?" "Take their clothes." "Let them be naked if they want!" " Your turn's next." " Yeah." "You want to strip?" "Go ahead." "But I'm taking your clothes." "Don't fucking touch them!" "He's got a right to his stuff." "It's fucking freezing!" "We know our rights!" "We protest this harassment." " Stop fooling around with us." " Fuck that!" "We'll get pneumonia." "He's naked, man!" "This is harassment, man." "Har-ass-ment!" "We know our rights, pig, and we got a right... to a snack, and to some tea or coffee, man!" "We been rotting here like dicks for four hours." " Five hours, man." " Yeah, five hours, man... without goddamn fucking water, man!" "Fork over our stuff, man." "Oh, shit!" "Don't touch me." "I think it's broken." "I saw it, man." "That's police brutality!" " This is a police state!" " I need an X-ray." "Call a doctor!" "Hang your shorts over that camera again, and you're screwed." "What, man?" "Is that any fucking way to behave?" "Fucking listen to how you talk to us!" "Wait!" " I must have misunderstood you." " We want some tea!" " With lemon!" " And honey!" " What are you doing?" " What do you think?" " Are there any lemons?" " In the drawer." "The gentlemen requested honey as well." "They can forget it." "The law gives them the right to tea and lemon." "But no honey." "There are limits." "You take it to them." " No, you." " I'm making it." "We'll play rock, paper, scissors for it." "Hu-man rights!" "Hu-man rights!" "Sit down, please." "I'd like to welcome our guests here today." "The professor is a member of the National League for Democracy." "The military junta sentenced him to forced labor." "After 12 years, while working in the border region... he escaped into territory controlled... by Burmese student opposition groups... and from there to Thailand." " Go ahead." " Marek Vitek, Czech Television." "Professor, how did you escape unarmed from the prison camp... and then survive all alone... in the jungle for several months?" "Petra Binder, Frankfurter Rundschau." "How did you make a living in Germany?" " When's your flight?" " Next week." "Can't you stay?" "The date still isn't set for the operation." " I can't." " Are you sure you're not my dad, bro?" "What?" "How old are you?" " Eighteen." " Then I can't be your dad, sis." "Hey, I got something for you." "Mom, your hands are greasy." " You have to give me one." " Oh, they're beautiful." " Your jacket fell." " Thanks." " Those guys are thieves." " What?" "He said they're thieves." " What's wrong?" " They stole my wallet." "Please, help!" "Thieves." "Catch them!" "Turn out your pockets." " Why should I?" " Quit pretending." "Turn out your pockets!" " Turn out the pockets!" " Stop it, Mom!" "If he didn't do it, he can prove it." "It's too late." "They work as a team." "They pass it from hand to hand... and if you catch one, he says:" ""I don't have anything."" "Anyone could have it." "And you do nothing?" "If I went after them, I could end up... with a knife in my back." "I won't do it." "No way." "And this?" "It's obvious." " Why didn't you catch them?" " They vanished." " Hey, slow down!" " Slow?" "Like how you were running?" "Just relax, we'll clear this up." "Damn straight!" "At the police station." " But I'm like a policeman." " You?" "You just pimp for those assholes while masquerading as a cop." " Hands off!" "Give me my hat!" " Don't touch me." "Give me that nightstick." "Give it back!" " Cut it out." " We're going to the police!" "Let's go." " Get your hands off me!" " Come on!" "Let's go." " How much?" " Where?" "In the wallet, or was it a cell phone?" "Are you messing with me?" "What're you fucking trying to pull, man?" "Was he chasing me, man?" " No, he was chasing you." " Shut up, man!" " You shut up!" " I got nothing." "Cut the shit!" "Show what's in your pockets." "I try to help people just like you." "You should be ashamed of a mentality... that would steal from people who are trying to help you." "People like you only care about their own kind." "For you, this town is a just a hunting ground." "I'm such an ass for trying to do anything." " Enough already, Mom, please." " What do you mean?" "Don't you see what's going on here?" "They ripped off your brother!" "Everybody knows it's happening... but they just whisper in your ear and do nothing." "I swear to you, I'm not lifting another finger for anyone!" " I was running." " Sure you were." "I ran as best I could." " You wanted to catch them." " I did." " Why didn't you?" " They split up." " Sure they did." " They did." " That's enough!" " He was covering for them." " That's hard to prove." " I know that!" "Exactly!" " I'm at the police." " Sure, make a call." "It's my wife." "Relax, Mila, I didn't do anything." "I'm a witness." "How long will you be?" "I don't really know, but I'm helping them, see?" "Should I hide Franta?" "I'll take him to your mom's." "Don't hide anything!" "Don't hide him anywhere." "I say he's in on it." "Just calm down, Mila!" "I'll just be running along, okay?" "Just sit down so we can write this up." "Check this out." "I'm at your disposal." "Where are you right now?" "Zizkov?" "Go to 12 Nejedleho St... home of Franta Fikes." " Hello." "May we come in?" " What's going on?" "We'd just like to ask you some questions." "That's not ours." "Mr. Fikes, I see you have a record... and are on probation." "What's that got to do with this?" "Why don't you tell us?" "Thank you." "We won't trouble you any longer." "I try to help people, not steal from them!" "Am I some thief?" "I've been clean a long time." "I'm trying to make up for what I done." "It's not my fault you don't want me." "I always wanted to be one of you!" "Since I can't be, I do as best as I can." "I try to help people as best as I can!" "I don't even watch soccer no more... to keep out of trouble!" "He really is a good guy." "I feel bad now." "We'll wait till morning, till he simmers down." "Sign here." "We'll let you know." "Australia." "How do you like it here?" "You mean, like, right here?" " Where was it?" " In your bag." " What should I do now?" " Have a drink, but let's split." "I feel really stupid, officer." "Tell him I'm really sorry." "Well, thank you." "Goodbye." "That was so dumb." "Forget about it." "Hey, what was my mom like?" " What do you mean?" " Come on, tell me." "She was great." "But then she picked up my father." "My father, too." "But if she hadn't, I wouldn't be here." " I didn't say a thing." " Are we gonna talk or drink?" "You people really can drink." "Terrible!" "But I really don't mind." "Lada, you sell it for 2,000 and you only gave me 500 for it." "Well, someone ripped him off." "Maybe it was a mistake." "You took off, so I thought they made you." "Man, this place is played out." "Prague 2 is all Chinese dives... and the slants got it covered." "Albanians got the train station, Arabs got Wenceslas Square." "Makes you scared to stick your nose outside." "Lada, what does a giant panda eat?" "Little pandas." "Pandas eat bamboo, man." "See them yellow pigs, man?" "Someday, man, it's all gonna be theirs." "We'll all be yellow, man, and slant-eyed." "They ain't Vietnamese, man." "Chinese?" "Got to watch out for Chinks." "They stick together." "Bullshit, man, they're tourists." "See the camera?" "Japs." "Come on, man." "I'll take the guy." "Just a moment." "Hey, there, you yellow runt." "Put that camera on the ground nice and slow." "Do it!" "The bag, too." "Unless you both want your nuts cut off." "He don't understand, man." "Bet he does now." "What the fuck was that?" "Police!" "Please, don't take my baby." "You can't do this to me." "He's mine, understand?" "He's not yours, and you know it." "His parents are dead." "He'd have died if I didn't take care of him." "He's mine, and you have no right to take him." "Can you imagine what his mother's been going through?" "I'm his mother!" "For two months, she thought her baby was dead." "How do you know he's hers?" "The evidence we've collected proves it." "You hear that?" "I'd give him everything." "Everything." "What will his mother give him?" "Sleeping pills so they can beg at the train station." "They're right, Mila." "Imagine being his mom." "We thought she wasn't alive, but now..." "Don't touch me!" "This is your fault!" "You criminal!" "You loser!" "I hate you!" "I want my baby." "A MONTH LATER" "God damn it, you bit me." "Who the hell do you think you are?" "Think you can bite me?" "Think I'm paying you to bite my dick?" "That was a completely normal blow job." "No one ever complains." "Oh, right!" "Guys pay you to bite their dicks?" "Hey, if you didn't like it, that's your problem." "Hand over my money now." "I don't strip for free." "Give me my money." "This is the last time I'm telling you." "Franta!" "Give me my money, you bitch!" "Damn it, Franta, where are you?" "This prick almost killed me." "You hit her, huh?" "You hit a girl?" "Wait, what's with you, man?" "Girls, you won't say anything will you?" "I really like this job." "Quiet." "Want some coffee?" "I'll go get some." "Like some help?" "Hot chocolate, please." "Thank you." "You're very kind." "Can I help you drink it?" "How did it happen?" "We were leaving the movies and it was dark... and there was this ditch and when I fell..." "I tried to grab hold with my hands." "Can I have some more?" "Sparta!" "So you've come back, son." "Sparta Prague, ole!" "Black motherfucker!" "End the game!"