"Ah!" "Look at all those lanes." "It's a powerful road, Gary." "Fast too." "Speed limit's 95." "Supposedly fastest in the state." "Makes you proud to be from Maynord." "A real feather in our cap." "People from all Five Points of the county will be passing through here." "Yeah, we had to expand our menu to include all the multicultural offerings." "And that's the best part of this." "We're gonna get people from all parts of the county coming through here." "That's perfect." "I've been meaning to expose myself to new cultures." "I saw a car the other day with a Florida license plate." "Imagine that." "Whoa." "Watch out." "Young businessmen coming through." "Uh, welcome to Five Points Mart." "We have a host of fuels, including high octane and diesel." "Look, why don't you just give me a soda, gas man." "And throw in some nachos, will ya?" "You fueling up for an important meeting, fellas?" "Who is this person talking to me this way?" "No, wise guy." "We're not businessmen." "Yeah." "We go to St. Milt's Academy." "Oh, shit." "They're prep school kids!" "Oh, get 'em!" "Oh, we all get 'em!" "Get 'em!" " Jesus, Cuz, relax, man." " Yeah, take it easy." "You're like a frickin' rabid dachshund right now." "I don't like people that are different than me." "I-I don't understand them, and it makes me mad." "Hey, this is the Five Points Mart." "It's 5, not 1." "Maybe his brain can't do the math!" "Cuz does not speak for us all." "All right?" "We look forward to sharing the mart with you and learning your customs." "For instance, I notice that you're mixing sodas." "Yeah, that's right." "You got a problem with that, guy?" "No." "Relax." "It's just an interesting custom is all." "Yeah." "We usually just drink 1 flavor." "Why have 1 flavor when you can have 5?" "Right, Matty?" "We don't need to justify ourselves to them." "Yeah, we don't need to justify ourselves to you!" "Let's get outta here, Mikey." "Yo, do me a favor." "Have a great frickin' day!" "Wh-What's their angle, Matty?" "You think they're messin' with us?" "Who knows?" "We're gone." " I-I just don't get it, you know." "I-I don't understand." " Shh." "Whew." "That got a little tense in there." "Yeah." "Something tells me we'll win 'em over eventually..." " and we're gonna be great friends." " Yeah, that's true." "Schlock, baby!" " Well, that wasn't very nice." " Ugh." "Why the frick would a person throw sodas at another person?" "It's disrespectful and humiliating." " Also it's a waste of soda." " Oh, no." "See... you really can't be making friends with kids from another school." "I mean, especially them prep school kids, man." "Them dudes are dicks." "You don't even frickin' know 'em, Darius." "Okay, okay, well, I know they part of an exclusionary system in America that perpetuates itself." " I know that!" " What?" "What the frick's he goin' on about?" "I'm saying that they are elitist." "Okay?" "They think they better than us." "They are better than us." "They're smarter, they all go to college and they destroy us at sports." "Well, if you like 'em so much, then why don't you go there?" "Uh-huh." "I would love to." "I'd fit in so much better there." "But my stupid mom would rather pay for a sunroom than my tuition." "Apparently that's a better investment than my future." "I... thought you liked your mom." "Well, duh." "She's my best friend." "That doesn't mean I can't be mad at her." "It's healthy." "Sort of like this carrot." " Hey, what's up, dog dicks?" " Oh, shit, Russ." "Did you get attacked by prep school kids too?" "Hey, what's a prep school kid?" "You make up that?" "It's a kid that wears suits, goes to a private academy and gets a much better education." "That's friggin' stupid." "No, man, I was rolling around at the dump." "Why?" "It feels good on my skin." "And I find cool stuff like weapons and romantic magazines." "Oh!" "Holy smokes!" " He's got a bounty of pornos in here." " Hey, you guys wanna look at 'em with me later?" "There's one where a guy puts his thumb up a girl's butt... like Peter Piper pulling out a plum." "Nah, man." "I wouldn't even enjoy pornography right now." "I'm so frickin' disturbed by that incident earlier." "You know, y'all need to go down there and mash them fools, for real." "And what, perpetuate more violence?" "2 rational groups of people should be able to share a piece of land without killing each other." "Seems sensible." "Pfft." "All right." "Well, y'all on y'all's own." "Yo, Russ, can a brother holla at some of them magazines?" "Look at that, man." "It's like a tiny red pepper going inside of a hamburger bun." "Psst." "And they got... they got buttons and a zipper." "Look at 'em." "They're no different than us." "They're chuckling' and carrying' on in the same style as someone from Maynord." "Ugh." "That's disgusting!" "Why would you mix sodas?" "To show St. Milt's that we're accepting of their customs." "Well, that's a disturbing custom." "All right, I'm gonna go hit these 2 prep school girls up, see if they wanna be my friend." "Okay, so she's, like, "You've got 8 curling irons."" "You don't know me." "Whoa." "Who's that beastly creature?" "Vocays, man." "We got vocational school kids hanging out here now." " They seem like a real intense bunch." " Oh, yeah." "Set up shop in the back alley, building stuff." "Word is they drink motorized oil." "You think they got an engine inside of 'em?" "Uh, no." "I think they have the same parts in them as everybody else." " Should we include them in our peaceful talks?" " No, we should keep our distance." "Oh, my God." "That's so amazing." ""We are such stuff as dreams are made on, rounded with a little sleep."" " Huh?" " I'm quoting the Bard." " Who?" " William Shakespeare?" "The Bard of Stratford-upon-Avon?" "You guys go to St. Milt's, right?" "Uh, yeah." "Come on!" "You have the best AP English program in the state." "That's one of the main reasons I wanted to go there." " Where do you go?" " Well, technically I go to Maynord." "But I think I would fit in better" " Looks like the Mule got wet." " What the hell?" "!" "Ugh!" "It's all mixed too." "Pardon me." "I just need to grab some sweetener." "Do they have agave here, or" "Andrew, I do not want you drinking coffee!" "Well, I guess you don't want me to get good grades either, Mom... because I wanted to stay up late, studying my honors English exam." "Ah, that vile wench doth bristle my thorns like a winter's rose." "Wow." "That's... very eloquent." "Sorry about your mom." "She seems like a real crab." "Indeed." "She has her moments." "But, alas... she's still my best friend." "Wha--?" "You know, I used to have a twin brother, but he died horribly." "Majestic, isn't she?" "Powerful even." " Huh?" " Travelers Road." "The unexpected intersection of roads of 2 different sizes, converging in perfect harmony." "Whoa!" " Smoked him!" " What happened?" "Did you see that?" "Guess that cars are still getting a feel for the intersection." "Sorta like... we're getting a feel for each other." "Yeah." "Who are you and why are you talking to me?" "We met the other day when you beamed various foods at us." "But we don't hold a grudge." "Actually, we're trying to understand you more." "Even givin' mixed soda a try." "Hey!" "That is our thing!" "You got no right to ape us like that!" "What?" "We're not aping anyone." "Relax." "Man." "You guys are real confrontational." "Yeah." "We wanna get along." "This is our school flag." "We figure we could hang it inside the mart alongside yours as a sign of solidarity." "Uh, what is this, s-some sort of deformed horse?" "What are you talking" " No, dude, it's a mule." "Hey, no making up creatures." "It's not a made-up creature, Michael." "It's just a dumb creature." "What?" "No, its not!" "Mules can kick in any direction, even sideways." "What's your frickin' mascot?" "The Flaming Stallion." "Oh!" "How'd you get it to make that sound?" "You just push the button." "There's a very small watch battery inside there." "Wow." "That's... an incredibly badass mascot." "Congratulations." "So you guys wanna hang flags and make peace or what?" "If I wanted to hang around garbage, I'd be a garbageman." "Or the friend of a garbageman who travels with him every day... learning the trade so he can capitalize on their strong pension and health care benefits." "What the hell does that mean?" "It means you're public school trash." "We're not trash!" "What would St. Milt say if he heard you talking like that?" "You know what?" "Just give us our flag back, and we'll be on our way." "Uh, sure thing." "No problem." "Mikey, why don't you give 'em their flag." "I think it's got a fever... 'cause it's burning up." " What the hell!" " That's a desecration!" "That's a frickin' desecration!" "That's it!" "Screw this!" "Aah!" " I'm wet!" " Oh-ho-ho!" "Nice!" " Woop!" " Ohh!" "Hey, fellas... can you show these guys that they just made a big mistake?" " You know what this means." " Time to go to war." " Oh!" "Watch the road." " Man, they are zooming'." "Shame people can't get along in this world, Gary." "You try, but when it comes down to it some people are dicks." "And dicks are a threat to peace." "Now let's go over the plan." " Objective 1." " Use Travelers Road to access St. Milt's campus." "Possibly enjoy foreign scenery along the way." " Objective 2." " Fill their school with trash... in a gesture of defiance and humiliation." "They think we're public trash, we'll use it to our advantage." "We'll strike today, and tomorrow, and the next day... until they relent control of the mart to people of more peaceful ideals." "Lucky for us we got the largest dump in the state providing ammunition." "Hey, you guys want some medical waste to throw at 'em?" "What?" "No, we don't want any medical waste, Russ." "Honestly, you should stay away from that stuff." "Why?" "It's friggin' badass." "It's got skulls all over it." "You got room for one more?" "Darius?" " What are you doing here?" " I'm joining up." "Be obliged if you'd let me come along." "Uh, why are you talking like that?" "Man, I'm just trying to add some drama to the damn" " Look, ey, can a brother come along or what?" "I have a personal qualm." "See, I didn't always hate these St. Milt's fools." "Matter of fact... there was a time I wanted to be one of 'em." "You wanted to go to St. Milt's?" "More than anything else in the world." "But they denied me... on account of the color of my skin." "What?" "That's messed up, dude." "I know." "I thought those days were behind us." "That-that's not what I'm talking about." "Why would you want to go to St. Milt's?" "You're a Maynord man." "Because it's a good-ass school." "They got a planetarium there." "Damn!" "But that's not the point." "I'm talking about racism here." "Can I do that?" "I can't believe he wanted to go to another school." "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed in him." "Let's just frickin' go on our mission already." "And I'll stay here and guard the dump so the preps don't take it." "I pronounce the dump to be property of Maynord... and all preps should be banned." "Okay." "I don't think any preps are gonna be coming around here, Russ, so, if you" "Prep!" "Prep!" "Prep!" " Holy shit." "Look at that." " Get him, Russ." "Tides have turned." "We got a black president, in case you didn't know." "Ah!" "Gods, I've been struck!" "That's right." "Medgar Evers." "School integration." " Rosa Parks!" "That's right." "Antwone Fisher." " State your intentions, prep!" "I-I-I seek only courtship, kind sir." "Huh?" "Andrew!" "My sweet." "Are you okay?" "Am I bruised?" " Megan?" " Okay, what the frick's goin' on here?" "You're dating a guy from St. Milt's?" "Whose side are you on?" "The side of love." "And because of all this tension, we have to secretly meet in unsavory places for a few fleeting moments together." "It's like Romeo and Juliet." "Did Romeo and Juliet hook up at the dump?" "Look, I just want to be happy." "Well, you being happy is making me sick." " Let's go, fellas." " Good luck, guys." "I'll stand here and guard this asshole." " Oh." " Oh, foul beasts and their wretched war." "They have broken my skin, but they have not broken... my spirit." "Man, they are perfect for each other." "What the" " Uh, this is a school?" "It looks like the home of an English prince." "Why would they wanna hang out at a gas mart so bad?" "I mean, look at this majestic lawn." "I know we're supposed to respect differences, but..." "I can't like a man who's not grinning' ear to ear when he's running through a field of grass." "Eh." "Uh." "Travelers Road." "Man, this ain't no road." "Man, this" "This thing's a damn freeway." "I almost got clipped by an 18-wheeler." "Oh, shit." "That's nicer than the brochure." "Well, not for long." "Let's start dumping." "Ah, shit." "The wind's just blowing the trash away." "Man, they even got the heavenly powers on their side." "Probably the breath of St. Milt blowing' from above." " It's a self-cleaning lawn." " Aw." "It works through a series of solar powered turbines." "Wow!" "It's a distinguished black man, you guys." "Probably the custodian." "Lord knows they wouldn't let him into the school." "Am I right, brother?" "I'm actually the headmaster." " You the what?" " Dean Griffith-Joyner." "No relation to Florence, or... "Flo-Jo," as she calls herself." "By the way, you're all trespassing and breaking the law." "Come on." "Let's go." "Then he gonna try to tell me that 25% percent of the student body is black." "Wait, you know, he probably just lumping in the Caribbeans with it." "Okay?" "And that's gonna skew the numbers." "Take Rihanna, okay?" "She ain't black." "Okay, she ain't no Mary J. Blige." "You know what I'm saying, the bitch grew up eatin' mango." "I ain't sayin' she can't sing." "She a modern-day Diana Ross." "But if you grow up eatin' mangoes, you can't consider yourself part of the struggle." " Oh, give it a rest, Darius." " Yeah." "Who cares?" "I do." "I want to know why I didn't get in." "Now I'm starting to wonder if it was my essay." "Man, I can crunch a number like popcorn, man, but I ain't no Shakespeare." "Thank you, Ms. Stark." "You run a fine institution here." "Thank you, Dean Griffith-Joyner." "All right." "The dean and I have worked it all out." "I think you'll find that we've come to a reasonable solution." "Whew." "Finally, some rational frickin' judgment." "Now, you're hereby forbidden from the mart... but in return you can have full use of the dump and its biomedical waste facility." " Huh?" " What?" " That's a terrible deal." " Hold on." "There's more." "You can use the mart to purchase gas... if you eat trash for the amusement of the prep students." "Eat trash?" "Whose side are you on?" "Huh." "That part does seem fairly punitive." "That's it." "You know what?" "You know, I got an idea." "I'm gonna go pull out my essay, see how it reads and gauge from there. 'Cause as I recall, man... it was on the up-and-up." "It was a hot number." "Why would you ever agree to that?" "You sold us out." "I'm a public school administrator." "I have too much on my plate." "Besides, you'll never get along with the preps." " You're too different." " What kind of lesson is that?" "A good one." "You'll be losing to these people your whole lives." "Perhaps when you're servicing their car someday, you can steal some change out of their ashtray." "I know you got a lot on your plate, Ms. Stark, but... it would've been nice if you had at least stuck up for us." "I'm sorry I disappointed you." "I assure you it will happen again." "All right." "Let's just go down to the dump." "Guess I wouldn't mind seein' what that medical waste is all about." "No!" "Screw that." "We're not letting them win." "Gary, we can't beat those guys." "They whipped us at every turn." "I know we can't beat 'em on our own, but I know where we can get some help." "Uh, Vocays?" "I don't know if we should do this, Gary." "All these guys are savages." "And that guy's definitely drinking motor oil." "Ah." "This is war, Joel." "Sometimes you gotta align with people you don't see eye to eye with." "Sometimes those people drink motor oil." "Hey, Vocays!" "We have a proposition for you." "Urrgh!" "Well, we're dead." "I don't know about these shady fools over here." "Look, they're not invincible." "They're just men in ties." "I ain't talking about them." "I'm talking about them Vocays." "Man, they freakin' me out." " That dude over there drinkin' motor oil." " Oh no, that's just water." "Yeah, they reuse the motor oil containers when they're done." "They're very into the green lifestyle." "The Vocays are actually good people, and expert tradesmen." "Real into pornography too." "We gave them some from the dump." "That's one custom everyone shares." "Anyway, look, man, before this shit goes down, you mind peeping this essay?" "It's what I wrote for my St. Milt's application." "Man, I thought it was pretty dope." ""Rudy Jenkins and the Curious Case of the Missing Juice Box." Eh, sounds like a kids book." "No, it's a detective story, fool." "It's about a juice box, but it's also a metaphor about a young man finding himself... which is the greatest mystery of all, you know." "You wrote a detective story about a juice box for your application?" "Y-d-m" " Just give me that!" "Man, you probably don't even know what a metaphor is." " Man, when's this shit gonna start?" " May never start." "Russ is over there right now, reading them our terms of surrender." ""From here forth you are banned from the mart." ""If you do not surrender, you will be annihilated." ""The Stallion is not even that cool of a mascot."" "Well, I think it's friggin' cool." "I mean... it's a horse with fire shooting out of his head." "Ah, shit, he's going off book." "Why the hell did we let Russ do this anyway?" "He's expendable." "You're supposed to put the grunts on the front lines." "What is he doing with those hot dogs?" "Maybe he's using them to make a point?" "# And Mr. Hot Dog Man #" "# Runnin' around with his hot dogs #" "# Look at me I'm the Hot Dog Man #" "Wait." "Here we go." "They're reading it." "Unbelievable!" "Another desecration." "Clearly, they rejected our terms." "Oh, and now they're getting weapons." "Okay, this is gonna get ugly." "How's the weather?" "It's rainin', huh?" "I'm not gonna let 'em take this mart, like that lake took my twin brother!" "Giddyup, mighty Stallions!" "They got robots in their shirts, you guys!" "Man, all this over an international food mart/gas station." "You know what?" "It's worth it." "# Ave #" "# Maria #" " # Gratia plena #" " Whoa!" " I didn't even know it was a lady." " Yeah, me neither." "It's like the angel Gabriel singing unto us." "That's a bad bitch right there." "I'm 'bout to get misty." " Aah!" " Oh!" "Oh!" "They're throwin' golf balls!" "Oh, y'all gonna come after the brother first!" "You know what I'm saying?" "That's learned behavior!" " Stop the violence!" " And increase the peace!" "Because we're not that different after all." "I would've never found my first boyfriend if I hadn't looked beyond the colors of hate." "We once hid like common dogs... but now we reveal ourselves to you... so you can learn from us." "Andrew, shut up!" "And get the hell over here." "Hey!" "Hey, hey!" "Don't talk to him like that!" "This is my boyfriend." "That's my little brother." "Jesus Christ!" "He's in the 6th grade, you pervert." "Ugh!" "That's monstrous!" "What?" "No." "He goes to St Milt's." "Our school's "K" through 12, bird brain!" ""K" through" " Is that true, Andrew?" "He doth speak the truth, milady." "Why the hell did you lie to me?" "!" " I wanted a yank job." " Ugh!" "You people are sick!" ""K" through 12." "What school has that many grades?" "Give me a weapon!" "Let's do this." "Yo!" "It's a runaway truck!" "Oh, dear!" "Hey, this churro's all right." "Maybe other cultures ain't so bad" " Whoa!" " Whoa!" "Oh, shit!" " Children." " Principal Stark?" " I have come to fight alongside of you." " She's come to save us!" "Your words stirred something in me... the emotion... of guilt." "You realize you just caused a horrible car accident." "Is that right?" "Oh, I been mangled and "mucillated."" "Well, I'm just going to get in my car and drive away." "Screw it." "This place is trashed anyway." " Let's go to the dump!" " I hear they got a biomedical waste area!" "You guys, they're taking the dump!" "We gotta go stop 'em!" "You know what?" "They can have it." "Well, we didn't get the mart... but they didn't either." "And that's what's important." "Amen to that." "Man, they need to put some stop lights on this bitch."