"OLD FLAMES" " Afternoon, everybody." " Norm!" " How's life?" " It's not going to win any awards." "Put a brew in my face, please." " Right up." " What have you been up to?" "I went out for the first time since Vera and I split up." "Who was the lucky damseI?" "Arlene Horsley." "She's a typist at that firm I got fired from." "I gave her a slice of my pizza one day." "Things took off from there." "We caught a movie this afternoon." " What was playing?" " "Gandhi"." ""Gandhi"." "Fine piece of cinematic art there." " I'm out of here." " Where you going?" "I gotta get back before Arlene misses me." " Where is she?" " Watching "Gandhi"." "I'm just out for popcorn." "See you in an hour when I go out for jujubes." "We did." "Thank you for a wonderful afternoon." "Right." "My heart's still pounding." "If you have something to say, come right out and say it." "All right." " What is your problem?" " There is no bigger romantic than me." "But if you two are going to do stuff like that, do it out by the garbage." "Even you cannot ruin our mood." "We had a wonderful afternoon gallery haunting." "We saw the work of New England's finest artists." "Did you lose a bet, Sam?" "Mr Malone is developing an appreciation of non-representationaI art." " That's right." " Name any art you saw today." "There were so many." "Name any piece of art in the world." " A buck says he gets this one." " You're on." "Michelangelo's "Two Muscular Guys Touching Fingers"." " Pay up." " Fooled me." "Why?" "Diane, I wouldn't try too hard to domesticate the guy." "You're going against eons of biology." "What are you talking about?" "Early cavemen went out and hunted for the food that graced their table." "Women stayed in the cave and developed art and culture." "Men, through the centuries, have always been hunters." "Doers." "Adventurers." "Cogito, it is not in man's nature to sit alone and be docile." " What's the matter?" " My shorts are binding up on me." "Just straighten them out." "No, I'll give them five minutes." "Sometimes they self-correct." "The level of conversation in this bar could not sink lower." "Hiya, wonder-buns." " Going down..." " Dave Richards!" "Hi, sports fans." "What did you say at the end of your sports report last night?" "I said, "Good night and remember" ""the world is full of winners and losers." "Here's hoping you're one of them. "" "I guess I did hear it right." " Hey, big fella." " How're you doing, Mayday?" " Good." "How are you, Dave?" " Miserable." " Brenda and I split." " I'm sorry to hear that." "This is from the heart." "This is the most devastating period of my life." " You want to talk about it?" " No." "Fall off a horse, you get back on." "Sam, how about you and me giving the females of Boston ten minutes head start, then round them up?" "We did have fun, didn't we?" "We were pretty good." "I was wondering." "What was the best night we ever had?" "That's tough." "I think I'd have to say July 4th, Chicago." "Yankee Doodle?" " I was thinking about Minneapolis." " It was great." "But that was quantity." "I'm talking quality." "Was there a night when there was both quantity and quality?" "Vegas!" " What are we waiting for?" " Nothing." "Don't wait up for us." "Females of Boston, stop dreaming." "It's on its way." "See you later, sweetheart." "Take care, Dave." "Don't you be a stranger now." "Don't you be a stranger." "Did you get a chance to say hi to Dave?" "Good old guy." "Where were you going with him?" "Where am I?" "Last thing I remember, I was standing behind the bar." "Coach, I'm having blackouts." "Kind of a nice break in the day, isn't it?" "Sam, what gives?" "I'm not going to make it to the aquarium with you today." "I'm sorry." "I know where you were going." "You were going trollop hunting." "That sounds fun." "Can you do that with women?" "Wait." "Listen." "I was not thinking, Diane." "It was just an automatic reaction, that's all." "You're not going to tell me that you and human brain have got something going?" "Well, kind of, yeah." "Definitely." "I mean, totally." "Very romantic phrasing." "You must be one hot honey." "Take it easy." "We've got a good thing going here and I'm very proud of it." " Speaking of things going..." "Dave?" " I'll talk to you later." "OK." "I'll come back when you've split up." "I've got about an hour to kill." " Listen, this is going to work out." " Who are you talking to here?" "You were a worse hound than me." "The worst hound ever." "David, that has all changed now." "Some things never change." "You cannot give an old leopard new stripes." "Why are we talking to him?" "I have nothing against you." "I just want my buddy back." "I say I can break you two up." "Tomorrow, we will be out scouting those el feminitos." "You're wrong." "There's no way." "You're out of line." "24 hours, you two are bye-bye." "Bye-bye." "Do you believe that?" "That's ridiculous." "Sam, he can give us 24 hours, 24 days, 24 years." "We have transcended time." "Right now the important thing is the next 24 hours." "Just to be on the safe side, let's not even get into a heated discussion today." " Sure." "That's easy." " Good." "I hope so." "The truth is, we've never gone 24 hours without a fight." " We most certainly have." " We haven't." " Sam Malone..." " You're right." "The important thing is no arguing, no fighting, no break-up." "I couldn't agree more." "Sam." "Seeing as you're going to be out of commission, or so you say, could you give me the number of that Lydia chick?" "You're impossible." "Cliff!" "The book!" "This still her number?" "Come on." "You're smudging Judy Wilson's number." "Thanks, buddy." "See you, gang." "Oh, and, moonbeam..." "Seeing as you'll be split up tomorrow, maybe you and I..." "I'd rather be staked out on an ant hill, naked." "See how they always get the word "naked" in?" "Go on." "What a sleazy, egotistical, greasy, rotten sewer rat." " You're right." " I think I'm in love." "Diane, I'm glad that jerk came by today." "Moments like that make me realise what a good thing we got going." " Why do you still have that thing?" " What's that, babe?" "The book." "Why are you keeping it?" "Sweetheart, this is my address book." "I've got emergency numbers in this." "What emergency service does Wanda Mendelsohn render?" "She's an all-night plumber." "The only plumber in Boston you have to go to her house." "Why are you holding onto phone numbers of other women?" "I just haven't gotten around to getting rid of it." "Fine." "Then you won't mind if I help you with that." "Cliff." "Cliff, you touched it!" "I can see!" " Normie, I can walk!" " He's walking!" " Hallelujah!" " Cliff's walking!" "He's walking!" "I'm just saying it would be a wonderful gesture to me if you destroyed the book." "Are you nuts?" "It took me years to meet all these people!" " And even longer to alphabetise them." " All right!" "I knew you'd bring up stupid." "Arguing with you begins and ends with it." "You can put up with this if I can put up with paint splatters." "Paint splatters?" "If brains were money, you'd need a loan for a cup of coffee." "I got that one!" "You're making marvellous progress." "What's not making progress is you and me." " We can change that." " Whatever." "I'm keeping that book." "And you know where you can keep it?" "Right straight under the pillow you dream on, big guy." "Sam, got a minute?" "I just wanted to congratulate you on your falling-out with miss chicken-parts." "Take this opportunity to make it permanent." "Whenever we fight, you just love to gloat." "No, Sam." "In fact, I feel a little sad about this one." " Why?" " I wasn't the cause of it." "I don't know." "Maybe me and Diane being together doesn't make any sense." "Love, Sam." "Who can explain it?" "Fools have tried." " You're right." " I've got this theory." " Coach, would you take me home?" " OK." "Every night you forget your keys." "Have you got them?" "It's OK." "I got it all figured out." "I left them in the car." " You're not afraid it will get stolen?" " I locked it." " How will you get in without keys?" " I made a duplicate set." " Where are they?" " Holy mackerel!" "Carla, we've got to make a scramble." "Looks like rain." "Come on." "I left the windows open." "Are you deep in thought about how much you love me or are you not talking to me?" "I hate you with the white-hot intensity of 1,000 suns." "Somebody's cranky." "Tell you what." "As a gesture, to put all this behind us, I'll take this book..." "I see." "You're going to patch it up so you don't lose face with Dave." "No, forget about Dave." "I'm concerned about us right now." "I'm going to take this book, which represents my past, and I'm gonna rip up X through Z and all but one of Q." "You just don't understand." "There's nothing more to say." " Well, there he is." "Isn't he pretty?" " What do you want, Dave?" "Was that Diane I saw leaving?" "Yeah, she had to go home early." "She has pictures of me she wants to hang." " I'm in a bind." " You don't look too bad off." "The one on the left is Valerie." "The other's Didi." " Can you take one off my hands?" " What is this?" "Part of your plan?" "Come on." "I'm asking a favour from a buddy." "Ordinarily I wouldn't ask, but Valerie thinks I'm complex." "Need I say more?" "Just see that she gets home." " Give me a break." " Just see that she gets home." "OK?" "Thanks." "Valerie?" "What do you say you and I jump in that Dave-mobile?" "So Didi, where do you live?" "Chicago." " Excuse me?" " Chicago." "It's in Illinois." " I know where Chicago is, but..." " I'm just here overnight." "I'm a stewardess." "I'm at the Stafford hotel." " Why don't you let me call you a cab?" " Well, OK." "Dave said you were a fun guy." "I used to be a fun guy before I met..." "Before I met you." "Now I'm a really fun guy." " All right!" " Stafford hotel?" "All right." "How come you're not out with Arlene tonight?" "Oh, gee, I am." " Where are you gonna be?" " I think the circus." "No, that's tomorrow." "We're on a balcony somewhere." " I thought it was your turn to drive." " Did I forget to pick you up, Carla?" " I'm sorry." "I'll make it up to you." " It's OK." "No." "Tomorrow, you forget to pick me up." " Coach, is Sam in yet?" " No, he's not." "feel a case of the nags coming on?" "I deserve that." "Actually, I wanted to apologise to him." "I made too big a deal of that address book." "But he was being insensitive." "I guess I should learn to control myself." "I still think Sam was wrong." " Cheers." " Coach, that ringing is in your head." "I'm sorry." "Coach, I don't blame you for being confused." "My relationship with Sam is making me crazy." "And you used to be so together." " Diane, I got something to tell you." " I'm sorry the way I reacted yesterday." " I had a miserable night." " It's all right." "You're gonna love this." "It's so good." "Great!" "I can't wait either!" " Coach, your phone's ringing." " No, it's in my head." "The big guy's chair." "Tell me." "Diane, last night, I took a beautiful woman back to my place." "She was ready, willing and able and so was I." "We were right in the sack, then all of a sudden" "I stopped, I thought about how much you mean to me, and I said, "I can't do this." "I got a chick. "" "What do you think about that?" "Well, I was expecting a hug or a kiss, but this is more personal, I guess." " How could you?" " Diane, this is good news!" "You go to bed with another woman and this is good news?" "You're not getting the big picture." "This is the first time I said no." "And she was gorgeous." "Not a man in the world would say no to her." "Not many women either, I'll tell you that." "Besides, you and I were as good as broken up." "The only thing as good as broken up is being broken up." "And we are." "Come on." "Don't you see what this means?" "Damn it!" "Your 24 hours is about up." "Do I sense tension in this room?" "That was a crumby thing you did, pushing Didi on me like that." "If Diane and I didn't have such a good thing going here that might have split us up." "Come on." "You two?" "Good thing going?" "I get along better with my wife and we've exchanged gunfire." " You'll be happy to hear that Sam and..." " Wait!" "Whatever Dave hears, he'll hear from me." "I made a mistake last night." "I almost made a mistake." "I've admitted this to Diane and now I'm telling her that I'm finally convinced." "I'm crazy about this woman." "She is the best thing going and I care about no one else." "I'm not going to let anything come between us." "Puke." "Find someone else to waste your evenings with cos I'm gonna be wasting mine with this little filly." "Well, I know when I'm beat." "Wait." "I want you to watch me kiss my woman here." "You might learn something." "That's great, Sam." " Didi said you're the best kisser." " Really?" "English"