"8" "Anybody seen the Kelly Sisters?" "you're up in 5." "Charlie." " Thanks." "Where the hell have you been?" " And where is Veronica?" " She's not herself tonight." "But they came to see your sister act." "Don't sweat it." "I can do it alone." "Shit!" "Come on!" "Move it!" "Hurry up! Two jazz babes moving as one." "The Kelly Sisters!" "♪ Come on babe ♪" "♪ Why don't we paint the town?" "♪" "♪ And all that Jazz ♪" "♪ I'm gonna rouge my knees ♪" "♪ And roll my stockings down ♪" "♪ And all that jazz ♪" "♪ Start the car ♪" "♪ I know a whoopee spot ♪" "♪ Where the gin is cold ♪" "♪ But the piano's hot ♪" "♪ It's just a noisy hall ♪" "♪ Where there's a nightly brawl ♪" "♪ And all ♪" "♪ That ♪" "♪ Jazz ♪" "♪ And all that jazz ♪" "♪ And all that jazz ♪" "♪ Slick your hair ♪" "♪ And wear your buckle shoes ♪" "♪ And all that Jazz ♪" "♪ I hear that Father Dip ♪" "♪ Is gonna blow the blues ♪" "♪ And all that Jazz ♪ hon ♪" "♪ We're gonna bunny hug ♪" "♪ I bought some aspirin ♪" "♪ Down at United Drug ♪" "♪ In case you shake apart ♪" "♪ And want a brand new start ♪" "♪ To do ♪" "♪ that ♪" "♪ Jazz ♪ babe." "But I didn't even meet your friend." "That manager guy." "Roxie." "It's all taken care of." "You told him about me?" "kid." "It's all arranged." "♪ Find a flask ♪" "♪ We're playing fast and loose ♪" "♪ And all that jazz ♪" "♪ Right up here ♪" "♪ Is where I store the juice ♪" "♪ And all that jazz ♪ babe ♪" "♪ We're gonna brush the sky ♪" "♪ I bet you luck Lindy ♪" "♪ Never flew so high ♪" "♪ 'Cause in the stratosphere ♪" "♪ How could he lend an ear ♪" "♪ to all ♪" "♪ that ♪" "♪ Jazz?" "♪ you're gonna see your  shebashimmyshake♪" "♪ And all that jazz ♪ she's gonna shimmy  'tillhergartersbreak♪" "♪ And all that jazz ♪" "♪ Show her where to park her girdle ♪ her mother's blood'll curdle ♪" "♪ If she'd hear her baby's queer ♪" "♪ For all ♪" "♪ that ♪" "♪ jazz ♪" "Miss Borusewicz." " Mrs. Hart." "This is Fred." "He's my brother." "♪ All ♪" "♪ that ♪" "♪ jazz ♪ babe ♪" "♪ Why don't we paint thetown?" "♪" "♪ And all that jazz ♪" "♪ I'm gonna  rougemyknees♪" "♪ And roll my  stockingsdown♪" "♪ And all that jazz ♪" "♪ Start the car ♪" "♪ I know a whoopee spot ♪" "♪ Where the gin is cold ♪" "♪ But the piano's hot ♪" "♪ It's just a noisy hall ♪" "♪ Where there's a nightly brawl ♪" "♪ And all ♪" "♪ that ♪" "♪ jazz ♪" "Frank." "kid." "My little shooting star!" "but ♪" "I love my life ♪" "♪ And all ♪" "♪ that ♪" "♪ Yeah ♪" "♪ That Jazz!" "♪" "Fred." "Jesus." "where's the fire?" "Amos ain't home till midnight." "Freddie?" "Fred? but don't you think it's about time that I met your friend down at the Onyx?" "it's been a month since you told him about me." "I know." "plugged her husband and her sister." "they say that she found them in the kip together." "if I ever found" "Amos soaping' it to somebody else..." "I'd throw him a party." "big going away party." " It's getting late." "though." "I write it down in my diary before it goes out of my head." "And you know what occurred to me?" "The other day... that... all the really really knock-out acts you know?" "a signature band." "And I thought my thing could be.." "aloof"... you know?" "Give them just enough to get them good and hungry but always leave them wanting more." "maybe you know?" "and I could be the headliner." "get off." " What's the idea?" "you ain't never gonna have an act." "Says who?" "Roxie." "You're a two-bit talent with skinny legs." "And I'm just a furniture salesman." "you know." "That guy down at the club..." "There's no guy." "that night..." "It was the first time I set foot in that joint." "I was collecting on a bet from the trombone player." "So you never told anyone about me?" "you are hot stuff." "I would have said anything to get a piece of that." "So now what?" "..." "Now?" "We had some laughs." "Let's just leave it at that." "Fred..." "You can't do this to me." "You get off!" "I'll put your lights out. why don't you wash yourself before you go hitting those sheets again." "so what?" "You lied to me... sweetheart." "That's life." "You son of a bitch..." "You son of a bitch!" "You son of a bitch!" "Sal?" "This one's all wrapped up." "I hear it's a new city record." "From killing to confession in an hour flat." "Why did you get the murder weapon?" "I keep a gun in the underwear drawer." "you know." "Mr. Hart." "Freely and gladly." "Freely and gladly." "And mind you don't say we beat it out of you when you get up on the witness stand." "I give myself up." "Surrendered of my own free will." " Isn't he the cheerful murderer!" " Shooting a burglar ain't murder." "Just last week a jury thanked a man." "I'm always grateful for citizens who know the law." "Get in there." "You too." "Sit down." "from the top." "right?" "Of course he has." "and I see him climbing through the window." "sleeping like an angel." "Mrs. Hart?" "it's the God's honest truth." "My wife has nothing to do with it." "She won't hurt a worm." "Not even a worm." "then she even opened her eyes." "I always said she could sleep through the St. Patty's day parade." "When I think of what would have happened if I went out for a beer with the guys instead of coming straight home..." "It makes me sick even to think about it..." "Miss Roxie Hart would like to sing a song of love and devotion." "Amos." "♪ Sometimes I'm right ♪" "♪ Sometimes I'm wrong ♪" "♪ But he doesn't care ♪" "♪ He'll string along ♪" "♪ He loves me so ♪" "♪ That funny honey of mine ♪" "♪ Sometimes I'm down ♪" "♪ Sometimes I'm up ♪" "♪ But he follows 'round ♪" "♪ Like some droopy-eyed pup ♪" "♪ He love me so ♪" "♪ That funny honey of mine ♪ he kept coming at me." "So I had to pull the trigger again." "♪ He ain't no sheik ♪" "♪ That's no great physique ♪" "♪ And Lord knows  heain'tgotthe smarts♪" "♪ But look at that soul ♪" "♪ I tell you that whole ♪" "♪ Is a whole lot greater ♪" "♪ Than the sum of his parts ♪" "♪ And if you knew him like me ♪" "♪ I know you'd agree ♪" "♪ What if the world ♪" "♪ Slandered my name?" "♪" "♪ Why he'd be right there ♪" "♪ Taking the blame ♪" "♪ He loves me so ♪" "♪ And it all suits me fine ♪" "♪ That funny sunny honey ♪" "♪ Hubby of mine ♪" "I mean suppose if... just suppose that he had violated her or something." "violated?" "I know what you mean." "Or something." "Think how terrible that would have been." "It's good thing I got home from work on time." "♪ He loves me so ♪" " I'm telling you that." "♪ That funny honey of mine ♪" " I say I'm telling you that." "Name of deceased:" "Fred Casely." "Fred Casely?" "How could he be a burglar?" "My wife knows him." "He sold us our furniture." "He gave us 10% off." "♪ Lord knows he ain't got the smarts ♪" " She told me he was the burglar!" " You mean he was dead when you got home?" "I'm covering the sheet and she's telling me some cock'n'bull story about this burglar." "And how I ought to say I did it 'cause I was sure to get off." ""It's my goddamn hour of need." "♪ Now he shot off his trap ♪" "♪ I can't stand that sap ♪ ♪ Ranting on me!" "♪" " That cheap little tramp." "huh?" "♪ What a half-wit he'd be!" "♪" " Well I'm through protecting her now... ♪ If they string me up ♪" " I'm on the garage with my butt 14 hours a day." "And tramping around like some goddamn floozy!" "eh?" "♪ That scummy... ♪" " I wasn't born yesterday." "♪ crummy... dummy... ♪" " I tell you that some things a man just can't take." "♪ Hubby of mine. ♪" " And this time she pushed me too far." "I didn't shoot him." "Boy what a sap I was!" "You double-crosser!" "You big blabber-mouth!" " You promised you'd stick..." " What're you talking about?" "Roxanne!" " Stop it!" " You told me it's a burglar!" " The whole time you've been jazzing him." " Goddamn it!" "You are a disloyal husband!" "it's true." "I shot him." "But it was self-defense." "He was trying to burgle me." "he's been burglin' you three times a week for the last month." "Missus?" "all right." " Thank you." "Mrs. Hart." "So try this on for size." "with Goofy here as a meal ticket." "Meal ticket?" "He couldn't buy my liquor." "And Fred Casely could?" "With a wife and five little Caselys?" "Or did he forget to mention them." " What?" " All his." "That bastard!" "That bastard!" "I killed him." "And I would kill him again!" "deary." "Take her downtown." "Come on." "Here they come!" "honey." "come on." "It's a shame to hide such a beautiful face." "Why'd you shoot him?" "with a little smile like the girl from the toothpaste ad?" "Enjoy it while you can." "Take this down." "Assistant District Attorney Harrison says this is a hanging case." " Hanging?" " I'm ready to go to the jury tomorrow." "are you?" "Take her down to the Cook County Jail." "sweetie." "Headline." "What did you shoot him?" "Was he cruel to you?" "Did he beat you?" "Was he fooling' around?" "what do you mean hanging?" "cocaine?" "Arm length: 31inches..." "The matron's on her way." "So don't get too cozy." "Put off that cigarette!" "Ever had Morton before?" "She's fine... as long as you keep her happy." "ladies and gentlemen. the mistress of murderers' row..." "Matron Mama Morton!" "♪ Ask any of the chickies in my pen ♪" "♪ They'll tell you I'm  thebiggestmotherhen ♪" "♪ I love them all and  allofthemloveme♪" "♪ Because the system works ♪" "♪ The system called reciprocity... ♪" "On your feet." "ladies." "♪ Got a little motto ♪" "♪ Always sees me through ♪" "♪ When you're good to Mama ♪" "♪ Mama's good to you. ♪" "You might think I'm here to make your life a living hell." "It's just not true." "♪ There's a lot of favors ♪" "♪ I'm prepared to do ♪" "♪ You do one for Mama ♪" "♪ She'll do one for you. ♪" "I'd be your friend if you let me." "So if there's something that upsets you or don't shoot your fat-ass mouth off on me 'cause I won't give a shit." "Now move it out." "♪ They say that life is tit for tat ♪" "♪ And that's the way I live ♪" "I deserve a lot of tat ♪" "♪ For what I've got to give ♪" "♪ Don't you know that this hand ♪" "♪ Washes that one too ♪" "♪ When you're good to Mama ♪" "♪ Mama's good to you. ♪" "Let's go!" "You must be Hart." "Ain't you the pretty one?" "call me Mama." "I'm gonna take care of you." "you'd be happy taken down in the East block." "we call it." "Oh?" "Is that nicer?" "I don't think I really belong in here." "I didn't actually do anything wrong. when he didn't get just what was coming to him." "mama." "Come here." "Velma Kelly?" "You're the Velma Kelly?" "You know I was there that night?" "I was there the night that you got arrested." "Mama." "An editorial denouncing me in Redbook magazine." "Not in memory do we recall so fiendish and horrible a double homicide." "Baby you couldn't buy that kind of publicity." "Couldn't buy it?" "I guess I can keep this then." "Nice try." "♪ If you want my gravy ♪" "♪ Pepper my ragout ♪" "♪ Spice it up for Mama ♪" "♪ She'll get hot for you ♪" "♪ When they pass that basket ♪" "♪ Folks contribute to ♪" "♪ You put in for Mama ♪" "♪ She'll put out for you ♪" "♪ The folks atop the ladder ♪" "♪ Are the ones the world adores ♪" "Kid ♪" "♪ And I'll boost you up yours ♪" "♪ Let's all stroke together ♪" "♪ Like the Princeton crew ♪" "♪ When you're stroking' Mama ♪" "♪ Mama's stroking' you ♪" "♪ So what's the one conclusion ♪" "♪ I could bring this number to?" "♪" "♪ When you're good to Mama ♪" "♪ Mama's good to you!" "♪" "Mama?" "It's... kinda... freezing in here." "You don't think maybe there's something wrong with the heat?" "but... you know..." "If you've got a couple of extra blankets tucked away... ladies." "♪ Pop ♪" "♪ Six ♪" "♪ Squish ♪" "♪ Uh uh ♪" "♪ Cicero ♪" "♪ Lipschitz!" "♪ the six merry murderesses of the Cook county jail in their rendition of" "The Cell-block Tango." "♪ Pop ♪" "♪ Six ♪" "♪ Squish ♪" "♪ Uh uh ♪" "♪ Cicero ♪" "♪ Lipschitz!" "♪" "♪ Pop ♪" "♪ Six ♪" "♪ Squish ♪" "♪ Uh uh ♪" "♪ Cicero ♪" "♪ Lipschitz!" "♪" "♪ Pop ♪" "♪ Six ♪" "♪ Squish ♪" "♪ Uh uh ♪" "♪ Cicero ♪" "♪ Lipschitz!" "♪" "♪ Pop ♪" "♪ Six ♪" "♪ Squish ♪" "♪ Uh uh ♪" "♪ Cicero ♪" "♪ Lipschitz!" "♪" "♪ He had it coming ♪" "♪ He only had himself to blame ♪" "♪ If you'd have been there ♪" "♪ If you'd have seen it ♪" "♪ I betcha you would  havedonethesame!" "♪" "♪ Pop ♪" "♪ Six ♪" "♪ Squish ♪" "♪ Uh uh ♪" "♪ Cicero ♪" "♪ Lipschitz!" "♪" "♪ Pop ♪" "♪ Six ♪" "♪ Squish ♪" "♪ Uh uh ♪" "♪ Cicero ♪" "♪ Lipschitz!" "♪" "You know how people have these little habits that get you down?" "Bernie." "Bernie liked to chew gum." "not chew." "Pop." "and I'm really irritated." "And I'm looking for a little bit of sympathy. drinking a beer and chewing." "not chewing." "Popping! You pop that gum one more time..." "And he did." "So I took the shotgun off the wall and" "I fired two warning shots... into his head." "♪ He had it coming ♪" "♪ He only had himself to blame ♪" "♪ If you'd have been there ♪" "♪ If you'd have heard it ♪" "♪ I betcha you would  Havedonethesame!" "♪" "I met Ezekiel Young from Salt Lake City about two years ago." "And he told me he was single." "And we hit it off right away." "So we started living together." "He'd go to work." "He'd come home." "I'd fixed him a drink." "We did dinner." "And then I found out." "he told me." "Single my ass!" "oh no." "He has 6 wives." "you know. as usual." "You know some guys just can't hold their arsenic." "♪ He had it coming ♪" "♪ He took a flower  Initsprime♪" "♪ And then he used it ♪" "♪ And he abused it ♪" "♪ It was a murder ♪" "♪ But not a crime!" "♪" "Now I'm standing in the kitchen." "Carving up a chicken for dinner minding my own business." "In storms my husband Wilbur in a jealous rage." "You've been screwing the milkman?" he says." "He was crazy." ""You've been screwing the milkman!" "And then he ran into my knife." "He ran into my knife 10 times." "♪ If you'd have been there ♪" "♪ If you'd have seen it ♪" "♪ I betcha you would  havedonethesame!" "♪" "[Hungarian] What am I doing here? that I killed my husband." "But I didn't do it." "I'm not guilty." "I can't believe that Uncle Sam says I'm guilty." "but really I... but did she do it?" "Uh-uh!" "Not guilty!" "My sister Veronica and I had this double act." "And my husband Charlie traveled around with us." "Now for the last number in our act we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row." "1- 2 - 3 - 4 5" " Split" " Spread eagles" "Back flips" " Flip-flops..." "One right after the other." "we were down at the Hotel Cicero." "having' a few laughs." "And we ran out of ice." "So I go out to get some." "I come back." "Open the door." "doing number 17:" "the spread eagle!" "I was in such a state of shock." "I completely blacked out." "I can't remember a thing." "I even knew they were dead!" "♪ They had it coming ♪" "♪ They had it coming all along ♪" "♪ I didn't do it ♪" "♪ But if I'd done it ♪" "♪ How could you tell me  thatI waswrong?" "♪" "♪ They had it coming ♪" "♪ They had it coming all along ♪" "♪ I didn't do it ♪" "♪ But if I'd done it ♪" "♪ How could you tell me  thatI waswrong?" "♪" "I loved Al Lipschitz more than I could possibly say." "He was a real artistic guy." "Sensitive." "A painter." "But he was always trying to find himself." "He'd go out every night looking for himself and on the way... and Irving." "I guess you could say we broke up because of artistic differences." "He saw himself as alive." "And I saw him dead." "bum ♪" "♪ They had it comin' ♪" "♪ They had it comin'  Allalong♪" "♪ 'Cause if they used us ♪" "♪ And they abused us ♪" "♪ How could you tell us  thatwewerewrong?" "♪" "♪ He had it coming ♪" "♪ He only had himself to blame. ♪" "♪ If you'd have been there ♪" "♪ If you'd have seen it ♪" "♪ I betcha you would  havedonethesame!" "♪" " You pop that gum one more time..." " Single my ass!" "Ten times the spread eagle" " Artistic differences" "♪ Pop ♪" "♪ Six ♪" "♪ Squish ♪" "♪ Uh uh ♪" "♪ Cicero ♪" "♪ Lipschitz!" "♪" "Who belongs to them?" " What's it to you?" " Nothing." "Heard they were Velma's." "the Hunyak does all her laundry for a buck a week." "Fresh towels for the can." "Make it quick." "...I'm gonna take care of you now." "let me ask." "Billy Flynn set your trial day for March 5th." "you'll be acquitted." "you know what Mama's gonna do for you?" "Mama's gonna put you back on the Vaudeville circle." "So now you're an agent too?" "until Ma Bell installs a private line in your cell all your calls are gonna go through me." "What kind of dough are we talking about?" "it's a crazy world." "000 a week." "Yeah." "And what about someone with real talent?" "I can talk to the boys over at William Morris. 500." "the most me and Veronica made was $350." "that's what happens when you have the right presentation." "Mama?" "I always wanted to play Big Jim Colosimo's." "Do you think you can get me that?" " Big Jim's?" " Yeah." "I don't know." "It's gonna take another phone call." "And how much is that gonna cost?" "Vel." "You know how I feel about you." "You're like family to me." "You're like one of my own." " I'll do it for 50 bucks." " 50 bucks for a phone call?" "Mama." "Miss Kelly." "That's your personals." "Freshly pressed by yours truly." "no." "It's my pleasure." "listen." "Can I ask you something?" "You know that Harrison guy?" "He said that what I done is a hanging case and that he's prepared to ask for the maximum penalty." "Yeah?" "So?" "I'm scared." "I sure would appreciate some advice." "Especially from someone I admire as much as you." "I have wanted to be on the stage." "Really?" "What's your talent?" "Washing and drying?" " No." "I dance in the chorus." " Oh." "you want some advice?" "direct from me to you." "okay?" "okay." "Thanks... for nothin'." "ain't she?" "she's still as common as ever." "deary." "Take a load off." "what do you figure on using for grounds?" "What do you mean grounds?" "What are you gonna tell the jury?" "I figure I'd tell them the truth." " The truth?" " Yeah." "That's a one way ticket to the death house." "Holy mother of God." "murder is a form of entertainment." "in 47 years Cook County ain't never hung a woman yet." "So the odds are 47 to 1..." "Mary and Joseph." "is Billy Flynn." " Who?" " Billy Flynn." "He's only the best criminal lawyer in all of Illinois." "I'm telling you." "What he don't know about juries and women." "How do you get this Billy Flynn?" "dearie." "you give me a hundred dollars." "Then I'll make a phone call." "A hundred dollars?" "Well you just... it seems pretty steep for a phone call." "but he's worth every cent." "He's never lost a case for a female client yet." "well..." "Let's just say justice ain't so blind in Chicago." " He's never lost a case?" " Never." "Every girl in this place would kill to have Billy Flynn represent her." "♪ We want Billy ♪" "♪" "♪" "Y ♪" "♪ We're all his ♪" "♪ He's our kind of a guy ♪" "♪ And ooh what luck ♪" "♪ Cause here he is... ♪ the only..." "Billy Flynn!" "♪ I don't care about expensive things ♪ diamond rings ♪" "♪ Don't mean a thing ♪" "♪ All I care about is love ♪" "♪ That's what I'm here for ♪" "♪ I don't care for wearing silk cravats ♪ satin spats ♪" "♪ Don't mean a thing ♪" "♪ All I care about is love ♪" "♪ Give me two ♪" "♪ Eyes of blue ♪" "♪ Softly saying ♪" "♪ I need you ♪" "♪ Let me see her standin' there and ♪" "I'ma millionaire♪" "♪ I don't care for any fine attire ♪" "♪ Vanderbilt might admire ♪ not me ♪" "♪" " All I care about is love..." "Allhe caresaboutislove♪" "ladies." "Not guilty!" "sweetheart." "♪ That's what he's here for ♪ do you remember anything at all about that night?" "Miss Sunshine." "I can't remember a thing." "Only that I didn't do it." "dear?" "No." "But my client is offering a substantial reward to anyone with information about this crime." "Miss Kelly?" " I don't know." "How much?" " We'll work it out after the trial." "Miss Kelly and I have a lot of work to do." "What's all this about a reward?" "you deny the whole thing later on." " Thank you!" " One more question... ♪ All he cares about is love ♪" "I'm Roxie Hart." " Who?" "Mama talked to you about me." "yeah." "Right." "The cute one." "I was hoping that you might represent me." "000?" "Gee." "That's a lot of money." "000." "Mr. Flynn." "but..." "Maybe we could... make some sort of arrangement between us." "And I can be an awfully good sport." "you got that out of your system. you mean just one thing to me." "000." "♪ All he cares about is love ♪" "♪ Show me long Raven hair ♪ 'bout to there ♪" "♪ When I see her ♪" "♪ Runnin' free ♪" "that'senoughforme♪" "♪ I don't care for drivin' Packard cars ♪" "♪ Or smoking Long Buck Cigars ♪ not me ♪" "♪ All I care about is ♪" "♪ Doin' the guy in ♪ on you ♪" "♪ Twistin' the wrist ♪" "♪ That's turnin' the screw ♪" "♪ All I care about ♪" "♪ is love!" "♪" "he'll see you now." "Andy." "my name is Amos." "That's right." "Take a seat." "you're a remarkable man." " Huh?" "Your wife two-times you." "Plugs the guy and tries to pin it on you. you're sticking by her." "Makes you a hero in my eyes." "That's right." "I'm a hero." "Did you bring the money? Mr. Flynn." "I will." "This is only a thousand. and there's 7... $700 from the Building and Loan Fund." "000" "And that's all I got so far." "But I'll give you $20 off my salary every week." "I'll give you notes with interest." "I promise." "I didn't ask if she was guilty." "I didn't ask if she was innocent." "or a dope fiend." "No." "000?" "000!" "So I figure you're a dirty liar and I don't waste my time with dirty liars." "Look..." "Mr. Flynn." "your devotion to your wife is really very touching." "I'll take your wife's case." "And I'll keep it." "Because I play square." "Hart." "I don't like to blow my own horn." "But believe me. things would have turned out differently." "this is what we're gonna do." "I'm gonna have Roxie's name on the front page of every newspapers in town." "Sweetest little jazz killer ever to hit Chicago." "That's the angle I'm after." "we're gonna have an auction." "Tell them we gotta raise some money for the defense." "They'll buy everything she's ever touched." "Everything." "your underwear." "And the Victrola records." "Like the one I was playing when I shot the bastard." "I didn't hear that!" "what are they?" "nobody's gonna care a lick what your defense is unless they care about you." "So first thing we gotta do is work up some sympathy from the press." "but" "There is one thing that they can never resist." "And that is a reformed sinner." "I was a real dummy." "There must be something that you were really good at." "I got high marks in Courtesy and Hygiene." "you wanted to be a nun." " A nun?" " Where were you born?" " On a chicken farm outside of Lubbock." "filled with every luxury and refinement." "Where are your parents now?" "Probably on the front porch in their rocking chairs." "Parents dead." "Family fortune swept away." "You were educated at the Sacred Heart." "Then you fell into a runaway marriage." "unhappy." "And of course you got all swept up in the mad whirl of this city." "liquor." " You were drawn like a moth to the flame." " A moth? crushed on the wheel!" "So which is it?" "Is it the moth or the butterfly?" "that's beautiful." "Cut out God." "Stay where you're better acquainted. but every man on that jury will wanna take you home to meet his mother." "I was born on a beautiful southern convent." "What?" "holy shit!" "I'm never gonna get this straight! you say nothing rougher than "Oh damn"." "Now try it again." " I was born on..." " Come on..." "You know what are some more things to do on the witness stand?" "I thought I'd get all teary-eyed and ask for your handkerchief." "Then I thought I'd take a peek at the jury like this." "heh?" "What do you think?" "Sounds great." "don't you want to hear the rest?" "kiddo." "You're at the top of my list." "well." "Mr. Flynn." "Hope you aren't too bored." "I like it." "Pollyanna." "I heard your press conference is tomorrow." "what's it to you?" "right?" "here it is." "Don't forget Billy Flynn's number-one client is Billy Flynn." "Meaning what?" "don't let him hug the spotlight." "You're the one they pay to see." "we can only sell them one idea at a time." "I can still see him coming at me with that awful look in his eyes." "And?" "And we..." "both reached for the gun." "you both reached for the gun." " Ready?" " Yeah." "Miss Sunshine." "My client has just entered a plea of not guilty." "We look forward to a trial at the earliest possible date." "Now are there any questions?" "Miss Sunshine. seeking to avoid a life of jazz and drink?" "Absolutely yes." "Mrs. Hart feels that it was the tragic combination of liquor please." "I would just like to say how flattered I am that you all came to see me." "Mrs. Hart is very pleased..." "I was a moth..." "crushed on the wheel." "drawn to the..." "I bet you want to know why I shot the bastard." "dummy." "Mr. Billy Flynn in the Press Conference Rag." "Notice how his mouth never moves... almost." "Where'd you come from?" "♪ Mississippi ♪" "And your parents?" "♪ Very wealthy. ♪" "Where are they now?" "♪ Six feet under. ♪" "♪ But she was granted one more start ♪" "♪ The convent of The Sacred Heart!" "♪" "♪ When'd you get here?" "♪" "♪ 1920 ♪" "♪ How old were you?" "♪" "♪ Don't remember ♪" "♪ Then what happened?" "♪" "♪ I met Amos ♪" "♪ And he stole my heart away ♪" "♪ Convinced me to  elopeoneday♪" "I can't believe what you've been through." "a runaway marriage." "Now tell us Roxie." "♪ Who's Fred Casely?" "♪" "♪ My ex-boyfriend. ♪" "♪ Why'd you shoot him?" "♪" "♪ I was leavin'. ♪" "♪ Was her angry?" "♪" "♪ Like a madman ♪ move along. ♪" "♪ She knew that she was doin' wrong. ♪" "♪ Then describe it. ♪" "♪ He came toward me. ♪" "♪ With the pistol?" "♪" "♪ From my bureau. ♪" "♪ Did you fight him?" "♪" "♪ Like a tiger. ♪" "♪ He had strength and she had none. ♪" "♪ And yet we both  reachedforthegun ♪" "ohyeswe both♪" "♪ Oh yes we both ♪ we both  reachedfor♪ the gun ♪ we both  reachedforthegun ♪" "♪ For the gun ♪" "ohyestheyboth♪ they both ♪ they both  reachedfor♪" "♪ they both  reachedforthegun ♪" "♪ for the gun. ♪" "♪ Understandable." "Understandable.♪  it's perfectly  understandable♪" "♪ Comprehensible." "Comprehensible ♪" "♪ Not a bit reprehensible ♪" "♪ It's so defensible!" "♪" "♪ How're you feeling?" "♪" "♪ Very frightened ♪" "♪ Are you sorry?" "♪" "♪ Are you kidding?" "♪" "♪ What's you're statement?" "♪" "♪ All I'd say is ♪" "♪ Though my choo-choo  jumpedthetrack♪" "♪ I'd give my life  tobringhimback♪" "♪" " And?" "♪ ♪" " Stay away from ♪" "♪" " What?" "♪ ♪" " Jazz and liquor ♪" "♪" " And?" "♪ ♪" " And the men who ♪" "♪" " What?" "♪ ♪" " Play for fun ♪" "♪" " And what?" "♪ ♪" " That's the thought that ♪" "♪" " Yeah ♪ ♪" " Came upon me ♪" "♪" " When?" "♪ ♪" " When we both reached for the gun!" "♪ understandable ♪ it's perfectly  understandable♪  comprehensible ♪" "♪ Not a bit reprehensible ♪" "♪ It's so defensible!" "♪" "they both ♪ they both ♪ they both  reachedfor♪" "Let me hear it!" "the gun ♪ they both ♪" "♪ Reached for the gun ♪" "♪ For the gun ♪" "A little louder!" "they both ♪ they both ♪ they both  reachedfor♪ the gun ♪" "♪ Oh yes." "They both ♪" "♪ Reached for the gun ♪" "♪ For the gun ♪ they both ♪ they both ♪ they both  reachedfor♪ the gun ♪ they both  reachedforthegun .♪" "♪ For the gun ♪ they both ♪ they both ♪ they both  reachedfor♪ the gun... ♪" "♪ Both reached for the... gun ♪ The windy city has taken a new criminal to its height." "Roxie Hart." "The sweetest little lady ever accused of murder in Chicago." "Women want to look like her." "Fellows want to go out with her." "Some little girls even want to take her home." "little lady." "the assistant D. A. promises the gay little sharp-shooter will swing before the year is up." "Assistant D. A. Harrison might become Governor Harrison some day. everybody wants a little piece of Roxie Hart." "This jar of cold cream set her husband back 20 dollars!" "Maybe this pretty little lady will get some of that famous Roxie style." "It seems everybody these days is rooting for..." "Roxie Hart." "Take those wilted flowers over to the orphanage and make sure they know who sent them." "Given it any thought of what you wanna do after Billy gets you off?" "I think I'd like to go on the stage." "I figured as much." "I already called the Morris office." "Really?" "How much is that gonna cost me?" "A fair deal." "10% of all your takings." "Mama." "I don't even have an act yet." "Killing Fred Casely was your act." "That's all those stiffs in the audience want." "To say they saw somebody famous." "It's a freak act." "I am better than that." "cupcake." "you can be as big as Sophie Tucker." "You really think so?" "Bigger than Kanther and Juleson combined." "I've always wanted to have my name in all the papers." "ugly bootlegger." "He used to take me out and show me off." "Ugly guys like to do that." "Gangland's Al Capelli seen at Chez Vito with cute blonde corinne." "That was me." "I clipped and I saved it." "I wanted to have my own act." "no... they always turn me down." "One big world full of no." "And then Amos came along." "sweet Amos." "Who never says no." "I've never done this before." "it is such a special night and you are such a great audience!" "And... you know?" "So forget what you've read in the papers." "And forget what you've heard on the radio." "Because... because I'm gonna tell you the truth." "Not that the truth really matters." "But I'm gonna tell you anyway." "Amos was... zero." "it goes like..." "It was like he was fixing a carburetor or something." "honey... I started fooling' around." "Then I started screwing' around." "Which is... fooling around without dinner." "Then I met Fred Casely." "Who said that he could get me into Vaudeville." "But that didn't quite work out like I planned." "I guess it didn't really work out too great for Fred either." "So I gave up on the whole Vaudeville idea. opportunities just pass you by." "♪ But it ain't ♪ no." "Butitain't♪ I got me a world full of yes!" "♪ The name on everybody's lips ♪" "♪ Is gonna be ♪" "♪ Roxie ♪" "♪ The lady raking' in the chips ♪" "♪ Is gonna be ♪" "♪ Roxie ♪" "♪ I'm gonna be a celebrity ♪" "♪ That means somebody  everyoneknows♪" "♪ They're gonna recognize my eyes ♪ my nose ♪" "♪ From just some dumb  mechanic'swife♪" "♪ I'm gonna be ♪" "♪ Roxie ♪" "♪ Who says that  murder'snotan art?" "♪" "♪" "♪ can say she started  witha bang?" "♪" "♪ Roxie Hart!" "♪" "Boys?" "♪ They're gonna wait  outsideinline♪" "♪ To get to see ♪" "♪ Roxie ♪" "♪ Think of those autographs I'll sign ♪" "♪" "♪ Roxie ♪" "♪ And I'll appear in a lavaliere ♪" "♪ That goes all the way  downtomy waist♪ there a ring ♪" "♪ Everywhere a ring a ling ♪" "♪ But always in the best of taste ♪" "Oooh..." "I'm a star." "And the audience loves me." "And I love them." "And they love me for loving them." "And I love them for loving me." "And we love each other." "And that's 'cause none of us got enough love in our childhoods." "And that's show biz." "Kid." "♪ She's giving up here humdrum life ♪" "♪ I'm gonna be ♪" "♪ Roxie. ♪" "♪ She made a scandal and a start. ♪" "I know ♪" "♪ To see her name  getbilledbelow♪" "♪ Roxie Hart!" "♪" "♪ Roxie ♪" "I just can't take it anymore." "I can't go anywhere without hearing about that dumb tomato!" "not you too." "kid." "The tour has been cancelled." "What?" "Your name has been out of the papers too long." "is that Hart kid." "She's hot." "And what am I supposed to do?" "Suck up to her like everybody else?" "It couldn't hurt." "Over my dead body." "Mind if I join you?" "10 minutes." "Smoke?" "Look what some Johnny sent me." "all the way from San Francisco." "the trial." "huh?" "I just can't keep track." "did I ever tell you?" "You're exactly same size as my sister." "you'd fit into her costumes perfectly." "Really? we'd be a natural to do an act together." "huh?" "Miss Velma Kelly in Act... of Desperation." "♪ My sister and I had an act  thatcouldn'tflop♪" "♪ My sister and I were headed  straightforthetop ♪" "♪ My sister and I earned a  thou'a weekat least♪ yeah!" "♪ deceased ♪ of course ♪" "♪ But a fact ♪" "♪ is still a fact ♪" "♪ And now all that remains ♪" "♪ Is the remains ♪" "♪ Of a perfect ♪" "♪ double ♪" "♪ act!" "♪" "Watch this." "Now you have to imagine it with 2 people." "It's swell with 2 people." "♪ First I'd... ♪" "♪ Then she'd... ♪" "♪ Then we'd... ♪" "♪ But I can't do it alone!" "♪" "♪ Then she'd... ♪" "♪ Then I'd... ♪" "♪ Then we'd... ♪" "♪ But I can't do it alone!" "♪" ""What'syoursisterlike?"♪" "♪" ""You'rethecat'smeow"♪" "♪ Then we'd wow the crowd again ♪" "♪ When she'd go... ♪" "♪ I'd go... ♪" "♪ We'd go... ♪" "♪ Then those ding-dong daddies  startedtoroar♪" "stampedonthefloor♪" "beggingformore.♪" "keepyoursocksup. ♪" "♪ 'cause you ain't seen  nothin'yet!"♪" "♪ But I simply cannot do it ♪" "♪ alone!" "♪ huh?" "you can say." "I know you're right." "The first part is shit." "But the second part..." "The second part is really nifty." "♪ She'd go... ♪" "♪ I'd go... ♪" "♪ We'd go... ♪" "♪ And then those two-bit Johnnies did it a brown ♪" "♪ To cheer the best  attractionintown♪" "♪ They nearly tore the balcony down ♪ boys... ♪ but before we go  here'sa fewmoreparting'shots!"♪" "♪ And this... ♪" "♪ this we did in perfect unison. ♪" "you've seen me goin' through it ♪" "♪ It may seem there's nothin' to it ♪" "♪ But I simply cannot do it ♪" "♪ Alone!" "♪" "So where's the part where you blew her brains out?" "Roxie." "I'll..." "I'll level with you... don't bother." "You think you're fooling me?" "You're all washed up." "and I'm a big star." "Single." "I almost forgot." "You were in the paper today too." "In the back." "With the obituaries." "Velma Kelly's trial has been postponed indefinitely." "Seven words." "Wow." "Oh!" "And here's a little piece of advice." "Direct from me to you." "Lay off the caramels." "for all you Chicago's stay-up-laters." "We dedicate this tune:" "Chicago After Midnight." "This all took place in Lake Shore Drive?" "Incredible." "All right." "Thanks." "They just arrested this woman for triple homicide." "Really?" "get this." "She's an heiress." "And all her family is in the..." "I don't know." "something..." "She's playing house." "with a guy named Harry." "no one's quite sure." "But it doesn't really matter because she's footing all the bills." "Anyhow... she notices something... rather odd." "Extremely odd." "Kitty disappears for a second." "Cool as a cucumber." "she gently wakes up Harry." "What?" "I'm alone!" "Alone?" "You have two other women in bed with you!" "Harry... you gonna believe what you see or what I tell you?" "folks." "Miss Baxter!" "Mary Sunshine from The Evening Star." "I wonder if you would mind saying a word or two?" "Sure I'll say three." "Go to hell!" "Please direct your questions to her counsel." "You're not my counsel." "I want my money back!" "It's not your money." "It's your mother's money." "dear?" "Sure I'm sorry." "Sorry I got caught." "Roxie." "I got a letter from a guy." "He says he's going on a hunger strike until I'm free." "kid." "did you know these two ladies personally?" "Did I know these two ladies personally?" "Was that your question?" "that's my ques... isn't she?" "Miss Baxter..." "Mr. Flynn." "Tracy." " It's Roxie." "I was just kidding." "Did you get my trial date yet?" "right?" "Go to hell!" "huh?" "And socialite too." "Her mother owns all the pineapples in Hawaii." "What the hell do I care about pineapples?" "hey." "Hey!" "That's all for the questions." "and afterwards I'll be happy to give the interview myself." "Billy... kid?" "J. Edgar Hoover couldn't find your name in the papers." "Mr. Flynn?" "Someone open this door immediately." "my god." "Roxie!" "What is it dear?" "no." "Don't worry about me." "I only hope the fall didn't... hurt the baby." "Baby?" "Cheat!" "Roxie!" "darling?" "Doc?" "Is she or isn't she?" "She is." "Would you swear that statement in court?" " Yes." " Good." "Button your fly. just that of my unborn child." "to have your baby born in jail..." "My readers won't stand for this." "I can assure you that won't happen." "She'll come to trial at the earliest possible moment." "You can quote me on that." "I think it's sweet." "First time we ever have one where a girl's knocked up." "Roxie?" "Roxie..." "Roxie!" "I just heard the good news!" "I'm the father." "who's the father?" "The question is completely out of line." "How dare you insult this... young woman?" "That's enough." "daddy!" "It's daddy!" "I came as soon as I could." "Rox?" "♪ If someone stood up  ina crowd♪" "♪ And raised his voice up  wayoutloud♪" "♪ And waved his arm  andshookhisleg ♪" "♪ You'd notice him ♪" "♪ If someone  inthemovieshow♪" "♪ Yelled: "Fire  inthesecondrow "♪" "♪ "This whole place  isa powderkeg!"♪" "♪ You'd notice him ♪" "♪ And even without  cluckinglikeahen ♪" "♪" "thatpersonageshouldbe♪" "♪" "♪" "♪ me!" "♪" "♪ Cellophane ♪" "♪ Mister Cellophane ♪" "♪ Shoulda been my name ♪" "♪ Mister Cellophane ♪" "♪ 'Cause you can look  rightthroughme ♪" "♪ Walk right by me ♪" "♪ And never know I'm there... ♪" "♪ I tell ya ♪" "♪ Cellophane ♪" "♪ Mister Cellophane ♪" "♪ Shoulda been my name ♪" "♪ Mister Cellophane ♪" "♪ 'Cause you can look  rightthroughme ♪" "♪ Walk right by me ♪" "♪ And never know  I'mthere.♪" "I didn't see you." "Sit down." "I'm afraid I gotta hit you hard." "And I can only hope that you'll be big about it." "my name is Amos." " Who said it wasn't?" "it was the kid..." "kid's name I was thinking about." "You know when she's due?" "September." "but..." "You'll pass out those cigars anyway." " I don't want you to give a damn when people..." " People what?" " Laugh." " Laugh?" "Why would they laugh?" "'Cause they can count." "Can you count?" "September." "Here's a copy of Roxie's first statement from the D. A.'s office." "Says she hadn't copulated with you for four months prior to the incident." "she would know." "I guess we hadn't done no copulatin' since..." "Wait a minute." "That don't figure out right." "I couldn't be the father." "forget about that now." "My client needs your support." "You mean she needs a meal ticket?" "That's all I've ever been." "But this time she's gone too far." "What are you gonna do?" " Divorce her?" " You're damn right!" "I'll divorce her!" "She probably won't even notice." "put him through." "♪ A human being's made of  morethanair♪ you're bound  toseehimthere♪" "♪ Unless that human bein'  nexttoyou♪" "♪" "♪ undistinguished ♪" "♪ You ♪" "♪ know ♪" "♪ who... ♪" "I'm still here." "I think... ♪ Shoulda been my name ♪" "♪ Mister Cellophane ♪" "♪ 'Cause you can look  rightthroughme ♪" "♪ Walk right by me ♪" "♪ And never know I'm there... ♪" "♪ I tell ya ♪" "♪ Cellophane ♪" "♪ Mister Cellophane ♪" "♪ Shoulda been my name ♪" "♪ Mister Cellophane ♪" "♪ 'Cause you can look  rightthroughme ♪" "♪ Walk right by me ♪" "♪ And never know I'm there ♪" "♪ Never even know ♪" "♪ I'm there. ♪" "I hope I didn't take up too much of your time." "I've been waiting here for 10 minutes." "Don't do that again." "This dress makes me look like a Woolworth lamp shade." "I'm not wearing this." " You're wearing it because I tell you to wear it." " I'm not wearing this dress." "I want you to do knitting." "for Christ's sake." " A baby garment." " I don't know how to knit!" " Then learn." "That's no way to win a jury's sympathy." "Mr. Mouthpiece." "It seems to me that I'm the one who's coming up with the good ideas." "I'm sick of everybody telling me what to do." "And you treat me like dirt." "common criminal." "common criminal." "mick lawyer." " Who happens to be saving your ass." " Who's out for all he can steal!" "Maybe you'd like to appeal in court without me." "Maybe I could." "Have you read the morning papers?" " They love me!" " My zop!" "They'd love you a lot more if you were hanged." "You know why?" "'Cause they'd sell more papers." " You're fired." " I quit." "Any lawyer in this town would die to have my case." "You're a phony celebrity." "You're flash in the pan no one's gonna give a shit about you." "That's Chicago." "No!" "No!" "No!" "Not guilty!" "What happened?" "It's the Hunyak." "She lost her last appeal." "So what does that mean?" "is that... she's gonna... where history will be made today." "Katelin Helinsky will become the first woman in the state of Illinois to be executed." "And so ladies and gentlemen... we proudly present Katelin Helinsky and her famous Hungarian Disappearing Act." "Bravo!" "it's really not that bad." "You're clear about everything we agreed on?" "Yep." "I've been up all night rehearsing." "What do you do when Harrison starts coming after you?" "I sit still and look straight ahead." "Never at the jury." " And?" " And I look modest." " And?" " And..." " And say nothing." " That's right!" "right?" " Right." "I do all the talking this time." "Billy." "Whatever you say." "his honor is here." " Thank you." "You ready?" "Yeah." "Billy..." "I'm scared." "Don't be." "you've got nothing to worry about." "It's all a circus." "A three-ring circus." "the whole world..." "It's all a show business." "..." "You're working with a star." "♪ Give 'em the old razzle-dazzle ♪" "♪ Razzle-dazzle 'em ♪" "♪ Give 'em an act with  lotsofflashinit♪" "♪ And the reaction  willbepassionate♪" "♪ Give 'em the old hocus pocus ♪" "♪ Bead and feather 'em ♪" "♪ How can they see with sequins  intheireyes?" "♪" "♪ What if your hinges all are rusting?" "♪" "you'rejustdisgusting?" "♪" "♪ Razzle-dazzle them ♪" "♪ And they'll never catch wise!" "♪" "♪ Give 'em the old razzle-dazzle ♪" "♪ Razzle-dazzle them ♪" "♪ Give 'em a show  that'ssosplendiferous♪" "♪ Row after row  willgrowvociferous♪" "♪ Give 'em the old  flimflamflummox♪" "♪ Fool and fracture 'em ♪" "♪ How can they hear the truth  abovetheroar?" "♪ roar. ♪" "♪ Throw 'em a fake and a finagle ♪" "♪" "♪ Razzle-dazzle them ♪" "♪ And they'll beg you for more!" "♪" " I Object!" " Sustained." "I haven't even asked the question yet." "♪ Give 'em the old dough br-ownie ♪" "♪ Daze and dizzy 'em ♪" "♪ Back since the days  ofoldMethuselah♪" "♪ Everyone loves  thebigbambooz-a-ler♪" "♪ Give 'em the old three ring circus ♪" "♪ Stun and stagger 'em ♪" "gointoyourdance♪" "♪ Though you are stiffer  thana girder♪" "♪ They'll let you get away" "♪ with murder ♪" "♪ Razzle-dazzle them ♪" "♪ And you're god of romance ♪" "Amos." " Amos?" "Mr. Flynn." "Amos." "when did you file suit for divorce?" "A month ago." "Was there any reason for filing at this particular time?" "Well I'll say..." "The newspapers said Roxie was expecting a little stranger." "is it?" "A little too much of a stranger." "By that you mean you doubted the paternity of the child." "sure." "Amos." "Do you share a bed with your wife?" "every night." "You expect this jury to believe that you slept next to this woman every night without exercising your rights as a husband?" "but you didn't." "I did." " Did what?" " Want to." " But you didn't." " Didn't what?" " What you wanted." "I'm getting confused here." "tell me Hart." "You tell me." "Did you ever question Roxie herself?" "Did you even bother to ask her if you were the father of her child?" "sir." " No." "What?" "you'd be man enough to admit it." "Wouldn't you?" "You'd even be willing to take her back - which she does." " She does?" "She does!" "No more questions!" "You can step down now." "Andy." "I'm so sorry." "♪ Give 'em the old ♪" "♪ Razzle-dazzle ♪" "♪ Razzle-dazzle them ♪" "♪ Show 'em the first rate  sorcereryouare♪" "♪ Long as ya keep 'em  wayoffbalance♪" "♪ How can they spot  yagotno talents?" "♪" "♪ Razzle-dazzle 'em ♪" "This is the moment we've been waiting for." "Roxie Hart finally takes the stand in her own defense." "♪ And they'll make you a star!" "♪" "Order!" "Order!" "Mr. Flynn." "I have here a statement in which you admit to having..." "Fred Casely." " Is this statement true or false?" " I'm afraid that's true." "Roxie." "When did you first meet Fred Casely?" "When he sold Amos and me our furniture." "And your personal relationship with him?" "Can you tell the jury when that began? I don't think I would've gone with him if Mr. Hart and me hadn't quarreled that very morning." "sir." "I suppose it was his fault." "sir." "It was my fault." "I suppose I just couldn't stop pestering him." "Pestering him?" "About what?" "I didn't like him working those long hours at the garage." "I wanted him home with me... to darn his socks and iron his shirts." "and a child." "So you drifted into this illicit relationship because you were unhappy at home." "I was most unhappy." "Roxie Hart!" "The state has accused you of the murder of Fred Casely." "Are you guilty or not guilty?" "I'm not guilty..." "I'm not guilty!" "I killed him..." "I did." "But I'm not a criminal." "I'm not a criminal..." "Roxie..." "Do you recall the night of January 14th?" "the happenings of that night." "I told him the good news." "And what was that?" "That me and Amos were gonna have a baby." "And that it was all over between us." "What happened then?" "Then..." "Roxie?" "your honor." "Counsel is leading the witness." "Sustained." "What does Casely say when you told him the news?" "I'll kill you before I see you have another man's child!" "what happened next?" "he... tore off my robe and he threw me on the bed." "And Mr. Hart's pistol was lying there between us." "And then!" "And then we both reached for the gun but I got it first." "And then he came towards me with this funny look in his eyes." "He was angry and wild!" " Wild!" " Wild!" "And did you think he meant to kill ya?" "sir!" "Yes sir!" "So it was his life or yours!" "Not just mine." "I closed my eyes and I shot!" "In defense of your life!" "To save my husband's innocent unborn child." "Order!" "huh?" " Order in this court!" " Roxie!" "It's pandemonium here in the courtroom..." "Mrs. Hart's behavior throughout this ordeal has been truly extraordinary." "I bet it has... she fans herself with her attorney's handkerchief." " Handkerchief?" " Poor child has had no relief." "seeming to want something." "it's a glass of water." "I was gonna do that on my trial!" "But now her eyes flutter wildly and she..." "Mrs. Hart has fainted again. revealing a glimpse of a blue garter with rhinestone buckle." "she stole my garter." "She stole my garter!" "Don't break my radio! - now she stole my goddamn garter." " What do you expect?" "I mean these days you get a little success and it's good riddance to the people who put you here." "There ain't no justice in the world." "And there ain't nothing you can do about it." "You think I got you up here just so you can listen to my radio?" "People write some pretty interesting things when they think no one's looking." "Mama." "State calls a rebuttal witness." "raise your right hand." "so help you God?" " And then some." " Have a seat." "Would you state your name for the record please." "Velma Kelly." "will you please tell the court if the object I'm holding is the one you happened to came upon in the defendant's jail cell?" "it is." "I submit this as Exhibit X." "Roxie Hart's diary." "I object!" "My client has never kept a diary." "this would be invasion of privacy and violation of fourth amendment and illegal search without a warrant." "and she broke the lock!" "Order!" "that settles that." "I'll allow it." "What's the big deal?" "It's just a bunch of doodlings." "Miss Kelly." "I haven't worked in a while." "plugging' Fred Casely." " What?" "The big baboon had it comin'." "I'm just sorry I only got to kill him once." "I never wrote that." "she made that up." " She made that up." " Order!" "get control of your client." "you honor." "It won't happen again." "Sit down and shut up." "You're making it worse." "I have no more questions." "Mr. Flynn. a tap dance." "did you make a deal with Mr. Harrison?" "Maybe to drop all charges against you in exchange for testifying here today?" "sure." "I'm not a complete idiot." "Good." "Maybe you'll do me the same honor?" " I'd be delighted." " Thank you." "Here?" "Fred Casely assured me he'd get me an audition down at the Onyx." "And then he reneged on his pledge and that was my motive for attacking' him." "Pretty fancy way of saying:" "The bit fat liar so I shot him." "Amos accused me of having an affair." "So I told him that the charge was... your honor." "Mr. Flynn is twisting this evidence to draw conclusions that are specious and..." " Erroneous?" " Exactly." "Order!" "do you know the meaning of the word perjury?" "I do." " You also know that it's a crime?" " Yes." "I'd hate to think of you rotting away in prison for the next 10 years especially since you just won your freedom." "all I know is what I was told." "so..." "So you didn't find this diary in Roxie's cell?" "No." "Mama..." "Miss Morton gave it to me." "She said someone had sent it to her." "Someone?" "Any idea who this mysterious benefactor might be?" "No." "She didn't know." "let's see if we can work this out." "Someone who writes about "reneging on pledges" "And... "erroneous charges"... doesn't that sound like a lawyer to you?" "A lawyer!" "A lawyer who honestly had a sample of my client's handwriting." "didn't you ask Roxie to write out a confession for you?" "are you?" "let's not be ridiculous." "That's thoroughly and utterly absurd." "But now that you mention it... this is outrageous." "outrageous." "Even to suggest it." "The prosecutor would make a thief's bargain with notorious Velma Kelly." "And then fabricate the very evidence that set her free!" "Just so you can win another case and move one step closer to the governor's mansion" " Why it'd simply be an unimaginable..." " I'll hold you in contempt." "it's not even conceivable. come clean... this kind of corruption cannot stand." "Will not stand!" "Mr. Flynn!" "your honor." "This is enough!" "The defense rests. this is Mary Sunshine reporting live from the Cook County Courthouse." "The city of Chicago has come to a complete standstill." "As the trial of the century finally draws to a close. wondering what fate has in store for her?" "And now a hush falls over the courtroom as the 12 men of the jury file slowly back to their seats." "have you reached a verdict?" "your honor." "The jury has reached a verdict." "Will the defendant please rise?" "What is your verdict?" "find the defendant..." "Roxie Hart is innocent!" "She's innocent!" "Get your paper!" "Roxie Hart is free!" "She's free!" "Roxie..." "Come on!" "Move it!" "First she shoots the husband then she plugs the lawyer!" "don't you wanna take my picture?" "I'm the famous Roxie Hart." "what happened?" "What the hell happened?" "kid." "You can't beat fresh blood on the walls." "Billy?" "My name in the papers." "I was counting on that." "kid." "I just saved your life." "000." "And what do I get?" "I get nothing?" "Five?" "Actually it's ten once I collect from Velma." "I get nothing?" "Don't forget your blessed diary." "Hope you don't mind." "I added a few erroneous phrases in there." "I couldn't tell you." "Couldn't take the chance." "Never lost a case." "Roxie Hart." "And God save Illinois." "Roxie." "What do you want?" "I want you to come home." "You said you still wanted to..." "and the baby... what baby?" "Jesus." "What do you take me for?" "There ain't no baby." "There ain't no baby?" "They didn't even want my picture." "I just can't understand that." "What didn't they even want my picture?" "♪ grand?" "♪ great?" "♪ swell?" "♪ fun?" "♪" "♪ Isn't it?" "♪" "♪ Nowadays ♪ Miss Roxie Hart says..." "Good Night." "♪" "♪ everywhere jazz ♪" "♪ everywhere booze ♪" "♪ everywhere life ♪" "♪ everywhere joy ♪" "♪ everywhere ♪" "♪ Nowadays ♪" "♪ You can like  thelifeyou'reliving♪" "♪ You can live  thelifeyoulike♪" "♪ You can even marry Harry ♪" "♪ But mess around with Ike ♪" "♪ And that's good ♪" "♪ Isn't it grand?" "♪" "♪ Isn't it great?" "♪" "♪ Isn't it swell?" "♪" "♪ Isn't it fun?" "♪" "♪ Isn't it?" "♪" "♪ But nothing ♪" "♪ stays ♪" "♪ You can like  thelifeyou'reliving♪" "♪ You can live  thelifeyoulike♪" "Didn't she kill a guy a while back?" "who can keep them straight anymore?" "♪ But mess around with Ike ♪" "♪ And that's ♪" "♪ grand?" "♪ great?" "♪ swell?" "♪" "That's great." "We'll be in touch." "You know I'm not quite finished yet." "I have a..." "Wait... one more." "I could... just a second I'm not..." "Goddamn it!" "Thank you!" "honey." "Thanks." "You know you're really pretty good." "Yeah." "That and a dime." "What are you doing here?" "I heard you've been..." "making the rounds." "I'd be swingin' by now." "I always knew Billy'd get you off." "You should learn how to put things behind you." "thank you." "I'll put that at the top of my list right after finding a job and an apartment with a john." " Just shut up and listen to me?" " You really are something." "All full of advice for a poor slob like me." "Miss Velma Kelly." "I got a new life now." "is it don't include you." "Fine." "I just thought we could help each other out." "didn't you?" "Look..." "Listen to me." "I talked to this guy downtown." "but two..." "We can make a couple o' hundred a week." "Roxie." "Our faces back in the papers our names on the marquee." "Velma Kelly and Roxie Hart" "Shouldn't it be alphabetical?" "That could work." "A couple o' hundred?" " Maybe we could ask for a thou'." " We're worth it." "it'll never work." " Why not?" " 'Cause I hate you." "There's only one business in the world where that's no problem at all." "the Chicago theatre is proud to announce a first." "The first time anywhere there's been an act of this nature." "but two." "and now here they are." "Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly!" "♪ You can like  thelifeyou'reliving♪" "♪ You can live  thelifeyoulike♪" "♪ You can even marry Harry ♪" "♪ But mess around with Ike ♪" "♪ And that's good ♪" "♪ Isn't it grand?" "♪" "♪ Isn't it great?" "♪" "♪ Isn't it swell?" "♪" "♪ Isn't it fun?" "♪" "♪ Isn't it?" "♪" "♪ But nothing stays ♪" "♪ In fifty years or so ♪ you know ♪ it's heaven ♪" "♪ Nowadays ♪ let's pick up the pace." "let's make the skirts shorter." "Let's all go to hell in a fast car and keep it hot!" "we'd just like to say thank you." "Thank you! we could not have done it without you!" "♪ And all ♪" "♪ That ♪" "♪ Jazz!" "♪" "♪ That Jazz!" "♪"