"THE NANNY" ""Solitude will destroy you." "Physically, too." "Your obstinate isolation is making you ill." "And yet, you are an intelligent, cultivated incisive observer." "Force yourself at least to go out in the garden or to leave this room or even to grasp the door handle." "Are you listening?"" "Did you hear me?" "Of course." "Doctor, how is my son?" "Did he speak to you?" "Have you noticed any change in him?" "There is no change." "Hurry up!" "Go away!" "Freedom!" "Augusta, is your hem done?" "No, not quite." "A newborn baby needs so many sheets." "It certainly is a lot of work." "Did you hear the gunshots?" "I believe so." "Earlier on... lt was the subversives, the socialists." "It is indeed frightening." "Violence is always frightening." "How are you?" "I wish it were over." "Your aunts are here?" "Thank you for keeping Vittoria company." "Well?" "A futile visit." "Not finished." " Not yet." "We found her in the garden." "She has no papers and she won't speak." "She must've climbed over the gate." "She's hurt." "Don't let them in." "She's my sister." "Blood!" "Lift her up." "They say she started a fire." "We must see to her wound." "Sister, is it blood?" "What is your name?" "I know her." "She's a liar." "Do you understand me?" "What is your name?" "Does it hurt?" "Close your eyes." "Follow the flame." "She came to see me." "She has no husband." "Keep quiet." "What diagnosis can I make?" "Her reflexes are perfect." "If she's all right, she goes to prison." "We aren't a refuge for subversives." "Well, Doctor?" "We'll keep her for treatment." "I must go." "Please see to it." "When I go home, I see to the chickens." "But this time, they'd been killed by the fox." "Let her breathe." "We are here." "We're nearly there." "Save your energy." "The hunchback!" "Go away!" "Don't look at him!" "It's unlucky!" "Good evening, Doctor." "Everything's fine." "It's all going well." "Vittoria..." "Let's put her lower." "Stay calm." "It will soon be over." "You're very brave." "Next time, you must push hard." "I can't." "You must." "Or we'll have to help you." "I can't. I'm scared." "It will soon be over." "You must help us." "Push!" "Help the baby." "And push hard." "Vittoria, be brave." "I don't want you to see me." "It's nearly over now." "You were very brave." "Would you like to hold him?" "I don't need anything." "I'd like to sleep." "Congratulations." "I want to be alone." "Go out, please." "We wish you every happiness, my dear." "Cover him up." "Keep him warm." "Stay here." "Take the sheet off the mirror." "What's wrong?" "You should be happy." "I'm worried about Vittoria." "She couldn't stand the pain." "But above all..." "She sent me out." "I'm a doctor." "You're also her husband." "Come and get your mail!" "I'll wait for you." "I'd like to know what she's thinking." "Have you spoken to her?" "Yes, but she's not being sincere." "What is it?" "You have something to tell me?" "What are you waiting for?" "The baby won't feed." "He's hungry." "Give him something." "Where's Vittoria ?" "I'm sorry." "Don't worry." "We'll hire a nanny." "You needn't worry." "I asked around. lt's simple." "I know a village." "It's quite natural." " l know, it's natural." "Come back to bed." "Help my wife." "Your jacket..." "Shouldn't he be baptised?" "Go on in." "There are a lot of them." "Word travels fast." "There's so much poverty..." "Shut the door." "Stand in the light so I can see you." "Good." "Tell them to get dressed." "Get dressed." "You, stay here." "She's too pale." "I wouldn't recommend her." "She's never been a nanny." "She won't know what to do." "She's not like the others." "She lives with a subversive." " Don't worry." "So your name's Annetta ?" "Yes, her name's Annetta." "Are you pleased to be going to Rome?" "Let us hear your voice." "The Doctor might change his mind." "The other girls are still here." "You will have to leave home and all the people you know." "And of course, your son, too." "I must leave my son, too?" "I need a woman who will devote herself to my son." "No one's forcing you." "The choice is yours." "But I need an answer." "I can't wait." "Well?" "All right." "You can put some money aside for yourself and for your son." "Draw a cross here." "is it done?" "Everything's set." "What's she like?" "Who?" "The nanny." "Young, strong..." "She looks trustworthy." "Pretty?" "What does that matter if she has milk and is well-behaved?" "And no talk of baptisms!" "Are you the nanny?" "She'll take you in." "Doctor Mori, she is here." "Come on in." "Not too tired?" "Do you want to sit down?" "How was the journey?" "You said... I don't know..." "The chambermaids will show you round." "They'll give you linen and all you need..." "Your job is to feed the baby." "If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask." "Really." "The house is rather large." "At first, I would get lost, then I got used to it." "Think solely of our child's well-being." "You should only concern yourself with your milk." "You wish to speak?" " Where is the baby?" "Of course." "Come with me." "He is weak." "His weight is below normal." "Excuse me..." "You should wash first." "She must be clean when she touches him." "Didn't you mention a medical exam?" "Ennio..." "Why won't you answer me?" "The baby is feeding, see?" "He could've waited a while longer." "He's weak. lt does him good." "The doctor's here." "Thank you for coming." "You could've done it." " l didn't want to." "She's feeding him." "Above all, be tactful." "Her milk's fine for feeding." "Any diseases?" " Syphilis, you mean?" "She was ashamed, even with me." "For a moment, I thought I was wrong." "Don't worry." "She's fine." "In any case, avoid any argument in her presence." "She must see no one." "You know what they're like." "Until the baby is weaned." "Then... I'll show you out." "I can't sleep." "Were you asleep?" "You'll catch cold." "Are you worried about my health?" "What's wrong?" "It's the first time a stranger has lived here right next to us." "The baby sleeps so close to her..." "Do you trust her?" "You heard the doctor." "She's a country girl, but not stupid." "And we're here." "You didn't examine her." " l wanted another opinion." "She'll take my baby off me." "You're his mother." " That's right." "I'm being silly." "Good night." "Mail!" "Take these to Mrs Mori." "Have you eaten?" "Where do you eat?" " ln the kitchen." "I'll come with you." "I can't hear the baby." "is he asleep?" "He must be with the nanny." "Where?" "Maybe in the kitchen." "Sit down." "There are a lot of clashes with the police." "Carry on, carry on." "Where's my wife?" " She was here just now." "Doctor, it's ready." " One moment." "No, carry on." "Where were you?" "When?" "Before." "In the kitchen, eating." "Doesn't here suit you?" "It's sad to eat alone." "Why didn't you eat the meat?" "I'm not used to it." "Well, you'll get used to it." "How many times have you fed him?" "Four times." "I think." "You think." "He feeds when he's hungry." "How's the baby?" "Be careful. it's cold downstairs." "He could fall ill." "No, there's a fire." "Right." " He's not crying anymore." "I ordered a pair of scales from Germany to check his weight." "Get the washing in, quicky!" "It's raining." "I'll help them." "I'm soaked!" "Go up an close the shutters!" "They are just obedient wives." "They married out of fear." "Out of loneliness." "Like their mothers." "I'm afraid." "They marry out of fear." "Out of loneliness." "Like their mothers." "Everything all right?" "You're not at the hospital?" "I was finishing a report." "is the light not back on?" "How quiet it is since the rain stopped." "It wasn't my fault about the baby." "I never said that." "You don't say it, but you think it." "You're intelligent." "Why act like this?" "She's useful to us." "But I feel completely useless." "This baby gives me nothing." "Nor I him." "What can he give you?" "It's up to you to love him." "He's my baby and you want to teach me..." "What do you know about how I feel?" "He rejects me." "That's not true." "That's not true." "Don't talk to me like I'm your patient." "You asked me to help you." " l did ask you." "The lightning won't hurt you." ""Smile, my love Don't be afraid" "Evil is disappearing" "And good is coming"" "What are you looking at?" "Are you going out?" "It's too cold still for the baby." "It's nice." "The sun's out." "You don't know these streets." "What if you get lost?" "I'll just walk in the streets nearby." "I'll come with you." "Wait for me." "They're for you." "They're lovely!" "You were to have them after a month." "It's in the contract." "Remember the street names." "Governo Vecchio, and now, Savelli." "Are you homesick for your village?" "No, I'm fine here." "You don't miss anyone?" "It's strange." "You might feel lonely and want to have your son near you." "No, he's fine." "How do you know?" "If no one has written, then he's fine." "What about your husband?" "We're not married." "He's in prison." "He hasn't seen his son." "He didn't have time." "When does he get out?" "I don't know." "What did he do?" "Steal?" "What did he do?" "Disorder." "Disorder?" "Politics... I see." "You could write to him." "I can't write." "I'll help you if you like." "I'll think about it." "Let her read your palm." "She says you're lucky." "Go away!" " She wants to tell your fortune." "Don't touch him!" "is he yours?" "No, not yours." "What fine earrings!" "Mrs Mori!" "They wanted to hurt the baby." "No need to... lt's nothing." "You got worked up over nothing." "But they were here..." "You're bleeding." "I'm sorry." "Don't be afraid." "I was afraid for the baby." " Exactly." "Didn't you see?" " Yes, I did." "And you didn't come over?" "I don't know." "I didn't understand." "Come on, let's go home." "Hurry up, let's go back." "What is it, Lena?" "Come here." "Here are the cards, Doctor." "You and I accept her as she is as long as she doesn't overstep the mark." "Do you understand her?" "No, but she's beautiful." "I found the seven." "We don't love them enough." "I'm in love." "Madly in love." "Love gave me an altruism and lucidity I'd never experienced." "I didn't mean to wake you." "I just came to see the baby." "Do you want to hold him?" "Go ahead." "is it time?" "Do you mind if I watch?" "Aren't you afraid you'll run out of milk?" "I don't think about it." "This is for you." "I'll put it here." "I've had it since this morning." "I forgot about it." "Where's the nanny?" "She went to church." "And the baby?" "Upstairs." "Didn't you see him?" "Of course I did." "Where's the nanny?" "I don't know." "What's wrong?" "Nothing." " What do you mean, "nothing"?" "Send her away." "Was she disrespectful?" "Has she neglected the baby?" "She doesn't care about the baby." "What did she do to you?" "There's nothing left for me." "That woman takes everything." "Look... I can't do it." "It's her or me." "I made a commitment." "The baby is getting stronger every day." "Hold on a little while longer until he's weaned." "Before then, it's not possible." "I don't want your compassion." "It's not about compassion!" "That's just how it is." "I can't send her away." "I have wonderful hats." "They're hats..." "I have to take them away... I must know that they're safe." "I'm leaving. I'm going to do what I told you about." "Do you remember, Doctor?" "Do you remember?" "I must go to God." "Go to Heaven." "I'll rise up, find my grace." "We can't keep her in for observation." "We need the beds." "It's not observation." "You can't talk." "I'm talking to my friend, the Doctor." "We're good friends." "We've already talked." "You're really..." "What do you think?" "I don't believe in what I do anymore." "Observing, filing away, making notes never healing anybody, leaving it all to chance." "I want something concrete." "Mental illness isn't concrete?" "The despair of those with nothing is concrete." "Giving quinine for a fever is concrete." "I'm wasting the best years of my life." "What do you want to do?" "Plant bombs, if I have to." "What are you talking about?" "It's as if you deny madness." "Has my wife left?" "She was going to the hospital." "Didn't you see her?" "May I?" "Come in." "You know my wife left?" "She came to see the baby." "Did she hold him?" " No, she didn't stay." "May I ask you a favor?" "I can't read." "is it from your husband?" ""One can kill a man physically or socially..."" "is your husband a teacher?" "Why did he write that if you can't read?" "It's important to me." ""They say that when you're locked up in the dark, you must forget everything" "or else it is too painful." "But I've become used to seeing the sea the light." "The noise of the waves suffices." "I hear everything and I see a lot." "I imagine even what doesn't exist." "You and the baby aren't far from me." "What exists cannot be erased." "Think of yourself, think of him of the love you give him without asking for interest of his happy ingratitude." "Many women are just obedient wives." "They married out of fear." "Out of loneliness." "Like their mothers." "Out of fear, they baptise their children and teach them fear." "Always remain a free woman." "One can kill a man physically or socially but one cannot make him forget his desires other people's smiles unexpected tenderness" "the beauty of what he has experienced or forget himself."" "It's a very unusual letter." "Would you like me to reread it?" "I have to go." "There's something else." "Be quick." "Reading and writing..." "Please, would you teach me?" "We shall see." "Tomorrow." "Let's go back." "Here I am." "Your promise..." "What promise?" "We will start tomorrow." "First thing, to save time for our work." "Your first thought must be for the baby." "I shall try to get some sleep." "I've finished." "He wouldn't let me go." "That's all right." "Sit down." "Here is some paper, a quill and an inkwell." "To be honest, I don't know what to teach you." "I don't have a method." "It's the first time for me, too." "We can't start by drawing vertical lines." "I've forgotten anyway." "Meanwhile, try to hold it in your right hand." "Why?" "People usually write with the right hand." "Like that." "With these three fingers." "Gently..." "Can you move your hand?" "Let's start with things you can see." "We'll name them and write them down." "I'll start." ""Table."" "Try to copy out the word." "Wait." "You need some ink." "Not much, but some..." "Sorry..." "Try to sit straight." "Put your left arm here to hold the paper steady." "Carry on." "You try now." "Not tired yet?" "Well, I'll write some new words for you." "They are verbs." "They describe actions, things you do." ""Listen." "Look." "Speak"" "Every being, every thing needs actions to live." "Otherwise they're just inert stones." "Let's see..." "Verbs, like nouns, have a singular and a plural." "The first refers to one person and the second to several." "The sound, too." "Listen... I... am speaking." "We... are speaking." "It's different." "I... am singing." "We... are singing." "Excuse me." "I've never made anyone laugh before." "It makes me happy." " Excuse me." "Copy the words as I repeat them to associate the sound with the writing." "I... am speaking." "The verb is movement, action." "is "l imagine" a verb?" "Yes, it is." "What action is it?" "It's a moment you cannot see." "What movement is it?" "If I cry..." "No, you can see that." "Something you can't see..." "A thought, an emotion." "Let's say, if I'm sad..." "You can see when you're sad." "It would be worse if you couldn't see it." "is "l imagine" in the letter?" "You read it, remember?" " Yes, I believe so." "I'm not sure." "Let's continue calmly." "One must always be calm and patient." "Do you remember the names we saw the other day?" ""Sea."" ""Rain." - "Child", "field"." "Could you write them down without seeing them in writing?" "Let's try." "So... "Sea"." "Good evening, Dr Mori." "You're not going home?" "I'll just go for a walk round here." "It's still sunny." "You'll ruin your eyes." "How's the little one?" "Fine." "is he gaining weight?" "You can talk, Annetta." "You express yourself with love." "You can love." "You don't need to learn how to write." "I don't want to stay the same." "Of course not." "Many people can read and write." "Soon everyone will be able to." "But some things are so spontaneous, intimate... secret..." "Feelings that are very hard to learn or even understand." "We are soon afraid." "Sometimes, we're afraid of thoughts of what we cannot see, afraid of nothing." "Briefly we feel close to something beautiful but we draw back." "Everything is erased like on a blackboard." "Nothing left..." "Or rather, there's always something left." "Are you talking about your work?" "You understand what I do?" "Yes, I think so." "I feel completely alone there, and experience does not help." "But I do not want to give up." "Do you want to hold him?" "I wouldn't know how to make him asleep." "I can't sing like you." "Sing." ""To act" "While, gripped by frenzy I no longer know what I'm saying or doing" "And yet I must" "Force yourself" "Come on" "Are you a man?" "You are a..." "Clown!"" "Have you started your letter?" "Are you pleased with it?" "Yes, but it's not enough." "Why not?" "I can't write about what I can't see." "Do you mean your feelings?" "I think that's it." "A few beautiful words." "Like those your husband writes?" "You demand too much of yourself." "Maybe that's how it should be." "You can ask me the words you don't know and that you need." "You know me." "Help me." "Dictate them to me." "Your husband's words are very intimate and they are written to you." "I couldn't write them." "They speak of love and freedom." "I've never thought in those terms." "Usually, we ask a loved one to sacrifice herself." "He asks the opposite." "Do you think that's right?" "You need strenght to do so." "You are strong." "Are you taking the baby out?" "I often see you in the street." "You don't know a soul in Rome." "Where do you go?" "Nearby." "Nearby?" "To give the baby some fresh air." "We can't meet tomorrow." "I'm going out of town very early." "To see your wife?" " No, to make a call." "I ask only one thing of you." "Don't go out. lt's too dangerous." "All right?" "All right." "I'm alone and my mother's outside." "I haven't seen her in 15 years." "She's standing to attention." "She doesn't move and nor do I." "What an inert, motionless life I lead." "Death will take me for a statue and pass by without seeing me." "Look... I'm learning to hold my breath so as not to be caught." "You think I'm lying." "I'm sure you are." "Besides, it's quite normal to lie to one's doctor." "Go to Rome." "I'll be waiting for you there." "The hares..." "Do you hear the hares?" "Look..." "I won't come anymore." "Goodbye." "Doctor, don't forget my son doesn't want to die." "He loves life too much to die." "You fell asleep..." "How sleepy you are..." "How well you sleep..." "Who's that?" "What are you looking at?" "Who's that?" " My husband." "He woke up." " My son never sleeps." "Why are you here?" "A call to make nearby." "I saw the house and stopped." "But I can leave." "Stay." "The evening you left, I rushed over here." "But I didn't come in." "I went away again." "I thought it was better that way." "And then?" "I threw myself into my work." "Why?" "You didn't work before?" "I did, but... ls the baby well?" "is the girl well?" "I read her letter." "Before I gave it to her, I read it." "It was to her, but it seemed to be written for me." "She wants to learn to write." "I'm helping her." "You're helping her?" "Are you in love with her?" "It's not about love." "It's dangerous to go out!" " l'll be back soon." "The baby's asleep." "To freedom!" "Long live the revolution!" "I'll go on, on foot." "Annetta is here." "Don't frighten her." "Shall I take him?" "You deceived me, my wife and my baby." "That's not true." "You were generous to me, you helped me, you taught me." "You took advantage." "You deceived me." "Your son is doing fine." "You know I love him but I couldn't abandon my own son." "I thought you understood." "I didn't deceive you." "You must go." "Look, I didn't deceive you." "Give him to me." "I'll look after him." "Go on." "You were asleep... I didn't want to wake you." "I just wanted to say goodbye." "Say goodbye to the baby... I'll wait." "Forgive me." "No, you forgive me." "I should have understood." "Please stay." "You can stay." "Don't cry." "Can't you see?" "He's not feeding." "He doesn't need me anymore." "What are you doing?" "I'm writing a letter." "To whom?" "It's a woman's reply to a man." "Read it to me." "I haven't finished." "Read it to me anyway." "Come and read it to me." ""The joy of seeing words..."" "The joy?" ""The joy of seeing words take shape under my hand... lt's not enough." "Not enough." "I don't want you always to find me at the same time in the same place." "I don't want to be the one you know steady as a road." "Motionless as a stone." "I start over." "I don't live in expectation and I'm not afraid of what I don't know."" "Do you like that?"