"And now, dreamworks' kung fu panda:" "Legends of awesomeness." "[gong rings]" "♪ hear the legends of the kung fu panda ♪ [scatting]" "♪ raised in a noodle shop ♪" "♪ never seeking glory or fame ♪" "♪ he climbed the mountaintop ♪" "♪ and earned the dragon warrior name ♪" "Ooh!" "Ah!" "Yah!" "♪ kung fu panda ♪ [scatting]" "♪ master shifu ♪" "♪ saw the warrior blossom ♪" "♪ and master the skills of ♪" "♪ bodacious and awesome ♪" "♪ kung fu panda ♪ [scatting]" "♪ he lives and he trains and he fights ♪" "♪ with the furious five ♪" "♪ protect the valley somethin' somethin' ♪" "♪ somethin' somethin' alive ♪" "Ooh!" "Ah!" "Ungh!" "♪ kung fu panda ♪" "♪ legends of awesomeness ♪" "Sweet!" "His name was di tan." "Never had there been anyone so incredible." "He traveled the countryside selling noodles." "I am selling noodles." "It is di tan, the famous noodle seller!" "Selling his noodles!" "He will sell some to me!" "Di tan's noodles were the best in all of china." "Not too firm, not too limp, and no starchy aftertaste." "No starchy aftertaste!" "Look inside my mouth to see it is true!" "Oh, great di tan." "What do we owe you for such amazing noodles?" "Well, how much do you have?" "Not only was di tan a legendary noodle seller," "Isn't that an exciting story?" "Not really." "What are you talking about?" "Dad." "Ugh, it's about noodles." "If you really wannmamake a story exciting," "It needs some kung fu." "That would help." "My noodle story does not need any kung fu." "It's exciting just the way it is." "Bah!" "Kung fu, kung fu, kung fu." "Does everything always have to be about kung fu?" "Both:" "Yes." "It's like talking to radishes." "Never mind." "Here, put this on." "I need you to watch the shop" "While I run some noodle errands" "But dad" "It's only for a little while, son." "Push the bean buns." "They're about tgo bad." "Uh" "And watch the pressure on the rice cooker." "Don't let it get too high." "And no kung fu." "[groans]" "I said, "where?"" "Where is the dragon warrior?" "[whimpering]" "Ahh!" "Oof!" "You are the dragon warrior?" "Over here, fellas." "Oh." "Sorry." "You are the dragon warrior?" "In the fur." "Help you guys with something?" "Bean bun?" "Does it have bean?" "'cause I can't have bean." "Oh, great dragon warrior." "We are distant travelers" "Who have heard of your amazing proclivities" "Both far and wide, and..." "And wide and, uh" "Argh!" "Shoot." "[paper rustling]" ""and so we come to you, the dragon warrior," ""to complete our training." "You will teach us the secret moves of kung fu."" "Wow." "Thanks for the, uh, reverence" "And, um, lauding my proclivities and all, but, uh... 'fraid I can't help you." "Why not?" "That's why they're called secret moves." "They're secret..." "And dangerous." "Some people might use them for evil." "Not us." "We are good." "Very good." "[giggling] [grunting]" "Ah?" "Oh..." "Please." "You must teach us." "Only master shifu decides who learns the secret moves." "Sorry, guys." "Can't help you." "Sure you don't want a bean bun?" "You will teach us, or else!" "Or else?" "Ha!" "Wah!" "Ahh!" "Oof!" "[screaming]" "You guys aren't very bright, are you?" "Huh?" "[grunting]" "Ahh!" "Ahh!" "[giggles]" "[gurgling]" "This isn't over." "We will learn the secret moves," "Then return to destroy you!" "Yeah." "Wait, where did we park the cart?" "You are so gonna get it!" "'kay, bye." "Nice meeting you." "Have a good day." "Hey, dad." "You won't believe what just-- [gasps] what?" "[explosion, flames crackle]" "Anyway, uh, things got a little out of control and" "And you would like your father to stay here" "While repairs are being made to the noodle shop." "Not really." "Pardon?" "I mean, of course I do." "It's just that he's, uh, you know, just, uh" "He can be a little hard to live with." "In our own way, we are all hard to live with, po." "Not like this." "Mr. Ping, we would be honored" "To have you as our guest in your time of need." "Please consider the jade palace your home," "And do as you would normally do." "So sorry about your shop." "Ah, well." "What can you do?" "That's po." "But you've lived with him for a while now, so you know." "Indeed I do." "Okay, dad." "By the way, did the cleaning lady quit?" "Moving on, dad." "I'm sorry?" "These floors looks like they were mopped with butter." "And all this...[coughs] dust." "[laughing nervously] got to go, dad." "Oh, po was so cute when he was little." "He couldn't say the word "tomato."" "He said "amamamomo."" "[laughter]" "A lot of babies can't say words." "You were ten." "[laughter]" "Oh, this soup is amazing, mr." "Ping." "You can stay here as long as you want." "Absolutely." "Oh, I just remembered another one." "When po was five, his" "Okay, dad." "It's been a long day." "What do you say we get to our room?" "But it's early." "Actually, that's an excellent idea." "I need you all alert for your training tomorrow." "I will be demonstrating the chao wa punch kick." "It is a highly dangerous move," "And each one of you needs to get a good night's sleep." "[honking]" "Ahh!" "What happened?" "[yawning] I need to clear my sinuses." "[clearing throat] [sighs]" "Can you clear 'em a little quieter?" "[yawns] [grunting] [blowing nose] [continues blowing nose]" "Ooh!" "Ugh." "[grunts] [groans]" "Peace." "[honking]" "Peace." "[honking]" "Peace." "[honking]" "Peace!" "[honking and hacking]" "[groggy] the chao wa punch kick" "Is one of the most secret moves" "Contained in the sacred scrolls." "Would someone wake up tigress, please?" "[snoring] oof!" "Forgive me, master shifu." "No." "[clearing throat]" "The chao wa punch-- morning, everyone!" "All:" "Ooh!" "Oh, what a glorious day." "You wouldn't happen to have 100 pounds of beet root," "Would you?" "Beet root?" "Yes, I'm making a big batch of soup." "[groans]" "Uh, beet root." "I don't" "Excuse me, mr." "Ping, but we're in the middle of training." "Ah, sorry." "Now, the chao wa punch kick" "I'll just use bok choy." "[groans]" "Pardon?" "Instead of beet root, I'll use bok choy." "Yes." "Fine." "Bok choy." "You do that." "Where was I?" "The chao wa punch kick thingy." "Right." "The chao wa punch kick thingy--thing" "Move..." "[snoring]" "Must be delivered to your opponent" "Precisely at the intersection" "Of the medial metatarsal and abdomen." "Like so..." "Hm." "Seems like a lot of work." "Why don't you just hit him with a stick?" "Dad!" "Sorry." "Don't mind me." "Uh, right." "When delivered precisely," "The chao wa punch kick will render your opponent-- [sniffing]" "Is something burning?" "[gasps]" "Mr. Ping!" "What are you doing?" "La, la!" "Making soup!" "In the jade tortoise of wisdom?" "Well, I needed a big bowl." "We're gonna have a lot of customers." "Customers?" "[overlapping chatter]" "Mrping, this is our training hall, not a restaurant!" "Don't worry." "I'll split the profits even with you." "80-20." "We'll make a fortune." "Have you ever waited on tables?" "That soup ain't gonna serve itself." "How's it going up here?" "Ah, just wonderful, apple cart duck." "I'm running the place." "Hmm, that must be the one they call shifu." "He will teach us the secret moves." "Why would he do that?" "Because we're going to capture him" "And make him teach us." "[laughter] [grunting]" "Where is everyone?" "Why aren't they training?" "Ahem." "Sorry." "We're booked up." "Mantis?" "Oh!" "Master shifu!" "Ha!" "Don't worry, uh, we can get you a table." "Hm, uh, yeah..." "I'm thinking 7-ish?" "Huh?" "[overlapping chatter] [clanging] oh!" "Oh!" "Hey, crane, hurry up with those bean buns." "Enough is enough." "Po, I've made a terrible mistake." "Your father has-- I know." "And it's been-- I know." "And I can't-- I know." "So it's time." "I know." "I've checked with mr." "Wong," "And there is a room at his boarding house for your father." "I'm so sorry, po." "I know." "I have made more in one day" "Than a whole month at the noodle shop." "Amazing!" "Listen, um, dad." "I need to talk to you about something." "I've wanted to talk to you too." "One of the best parts of this whole thing" "Is that we've gotten to spend time with each other," "Father and son, just like the old days." "And master shifu, taking me in like this." "He's such a nice man." "Ah, I feel so loved!" "Dad, you have to go." "What?" "There's a room at mr." "Wong's." "You can't stay here anymore, it's not working out." "Sorry, dad." "[nervous chuckle]" "I see." "I'll get my things." "You don't have to go this minute." "And stay where I'm not wanted?" "No, thank you." "Humph." "My own son." "Can you imagine that?" "Throwing me out on the street." "Huh?" "Hello, shifu." "Oh!" "I'm not shifu!" "I keep telling you, I'm ping." "I don't know anything about old kung fu." "That boring stuff." "I make noodles!" "You are trying to deceive us." "Just what I would expect from a master." "He's very good." "I would almost believe he does make noodles." "That's because I do make noodles!" "Shifu, you will teach us the secret moves of kung fu," "Or this will be your last night on earth." "Kung fu?" "I thought you said kung fu." "Big difference, you know." "Let's get started." "Now this move is called the stick." "That's right, the stick." "Ready?" "Everybody raise your stick." "[grunting]" "Now extend." "Po?" "I think something's happened to your father." "Huh, tracks go off that way." "Thanks, mrs." "Yoon." "Bye!" "For this move, you put your hands out like this." "Very good." "And now we... ♪ patty-cake, patty-cake ♪" "♪ I'm going to..." "La ♪" "♪ to..." "La ♪" "What's that for?" "The kids like it." "You are still trying to deceive us!" "You have taught us nothing!" "We want the secret moves." "But I don't know" "Wait, I know one." "The chao wa punch kick!" "And now you stand there." "And you..." "You're gonna do a turn, a punch, and kick." "But you have to aim" "For right here." "[shouting]" "What happened to him?" "I don't know." "Uh, I mean, I don't know." "But I think it worked." "You've done it, master shifu." "We will be forever grateful" "And appreciative of your mastery." "[gurgling]" "Oh, well..." "A move like this will make us invcible." "There will be no one to stop us." "And I know the first one to try it out on." "That panda!" "The dragon warrior!" "[laughing maniacally]" "Oh, po!" "What have I done?" "[panting]" "Dad?" "Dad!" "Well, what do you know." "It's the dragon warrior." "Our first victim." "He's mine!" "Ahh!" "No!" "What?" "No!" "He's mine." "Yes, I'm going to fight him..." "With fighting!" "Why?" "Because..." "Because..." "Because he doesn't appreciate me the way you all do!" "Eh-- come again?" "He takes me for granted as his..." "Um, um, master," "And now he must pay." "Now no more questions!" "Dad!" "Po, get out of here, son!" "Ho, ho, the pigs." "I should've known it was you." "Dad?" "Oof!" "You mean master shifu!" "My students often think of me as their father." "I'm gonna destroy you, panda!" "Make it look good." "Dad!" "Shifu!" "Why do you keep saying that?" "Because..." "I will destroy you!" "Then do it already!" "Before we do!" "Back off." "Dad, get out of the way." "You!" "Fight me." "Ahh!" "Ahh!" "Ahh!" "Ahh!" "Ahh!" "Dad, what are you doing?" "I'm protecting you, po." "Ow!" "Ow!" "And I'm mad at you." "You threw me out." "Dad, I'm sorry." "But you're not always the easiest person to live with." "Still, it's no way to treat your father." "What's going on here?" "Ahh!" "Ahh!" "Ow!" "Master stuff." "Now get out." "Shoo!" "Shoo!" "I'm sorry, dad." "But bossing shifu around?" "Turning the jade palace into a noodle shop?" "You always want it your way." "Me?" "I guess I was a little pushy." "I'm sorry, son." "Are you gonna destroy him, or what?" "I got it!" "[grunting]" "I'm sorry." "It's okay, dad." "I love you." "Ooh!" "Ooh, quit it!" "Ow!" "You do?" "More than anything." "Oh, son." "I don't think we learned that move." "Okay, you had your chance." "Po, I did something terrible." "I taught them the chao wa punch kick." "What?" "Out of the way, shifu." "All right, panda." "We have some unfinished business," "And this time, things are gonna end different." "[grunting]" "Leave my son alone!" "Careful, dad!" "Hwah!" "Huh?" "He's frozen." "Ahh!" "[laughs]" "Dad!" "[sighs]" "Dad?" "Dad!" "[growling]" "[grunting] [battle cry]" "Way to go, dad!" "Sweet chao wa punch kick!" "Thank you, son." "Whew!" "You're right, po." "Kung fu is way more exciting thanoodles." "Almost." "Mr. Ping, the furious five, po, and I have worked hard" "To rebuild your noodle shop." "It's the least we could do after" "Kicking me out?" "Well" "Oh, don't worry." "You may be a lousy waiter, but you're a wise master." "I deserved it." "This was the only paint you could find?" "Dad." "I-I mean..." "It's, it's very nice." "Thank you." "Who wants noodles?" "Half price."