"Menu" "The servants request the pleasure of your company" "Dinner is served." "We, Henry Edward, 3rd Lord of Spiller," "and we, William Harold, 3rd Lord of Wimple," "hereby proclaim our mutual wish:" "That the children of the noble house of the Lords of Spiller and the children of the noble house of the Lords of Wimple shall henceforth marry with each other, so that the blood of both our noble houses shall remain preserved in eternity." "This our mutual wish is based on the grounds that not a single drop of the blood of a commoner shall ever run in the veins of a Spiller nor of a Wimple, never shall it run!" "Henry Edward, Lord of Spiller" "William Harold, Lord of Wimple" "1636" "1736" "1836" "1936" "Following a high tradition, I am honoured today to ask for my noble cousin Georgia's hand in marriage." "Just a cold breakfast, for such an engagement party." "I don't understand." "First, this has been the rule in this house for 400 years, second, with a hot breakfast a certain snugness might occur, and third, this is none of your business!" "At my engagement, there'll be at least veal or goose roast." "It would even make more sense to serve the veal (calf) to the bridegroom and the goose to the bride." "How do you mean?" "One doesn't explain bons mots, one just drops them." "Voilà." "You may serve now." "Do you know who bought Bluehill Castle?" "Mr. Potter." "James Potter." "The "Whisky Potter"?" "The Whisky Potter." "The fellow must have made an insane amount of money to be able to buy such a property." "Wouldn't it have been more suitable if someone belonging to our circle had bought Bluehill Castle?" "One must resign oneself to the fact, my dear." "Anyway, somewhat strange new neighbours." "Enough said." "I raise my glass to the health of the young couple." "Cheers." "One doesn't drink beer in the morning!" "One doesn't sit on the balcony in shirt sleeves when one owns a castle." "Marthe" "You know what "one" can me.* [lick my arse]" "Yes I know, but don't you dare say it!" "The tailor has arrived." "But I won't take off my pants." "That will only be necessary at the 2nd fitting." "I've just forced myself to put on those strange knickers my wife has ordered for me." "Madame your wife has an exquisite taste." "Sure she has." "Otherwise she wouldn't have married me!" "Well, those tails are pretty long." "One might even step on them." "I'll shorten them a bit, but they are worn very long nowadays." "Again "one" is doing something?" "Go ahead." "If you and my wife wish it, those things on my back can remain long." "I'll cooperate in everything." "Just let me have my peace." "Look here!" "If I lower myself a bit" "I've a real train." "The latest in men's fashion." "At the court ball, Mr. James Potter could be seen wearing a tailcoat with a train, designed by Mr. Bow." "James!" "James!" "Madame Potter is calling." "Won't you take off the tailcoat first?" "But Mr. Bow!" "When a wife commands, one makes haste." "And when MY wife commands, one dashes." "James!" "James!" "But one doesn't shout like that!" "Your daughter will arrive from London today." "What if the servants saw you!" "One doesn't behave like that!" "And how odd you're looking!" "Just as you wished me to look." "I'm so happy that Mary is coming." "She's been away for 2 1/2 years now." "A gentleman displays his joy differently." "And I?" "But I won't get annoyed." "Mary is coming!" "The newspapers." "Hobby!" "Our ... my daughter is coming, Hobby!" "Very well." "But don't you see that I'm overjoyed!" "Couldn't you look pleased too for once?" "I'm not in the habit to make a show of my inner feelings." "Hobby!" "I'll give you one pound if you rejoice with me right now." "But I couldn't possibly sell the expression of my feelings!" "You see!" "Now you've even expressed your feelings for free." "But this is partridge." "This is no proper food for me." "There's no meat on it." "One doesn't even know where to start." "Put it down!" "You don't eat this with your fingers." "Lots of others have already touched it with their fingers." "Our great king, Henry VIII for instance, he always ate his chicken with his fist, and flung the bones under the table." "Those were the days!" "Shut up, James!" "And when a wife tried to be fresh with him he just had her head cut off." "Those were the days!" "One doesn't talk nonstop at the table." " A gentleman ..." " ... enjoys in silence." "Sure." "James!" "Like this." "That wasn't me." "That was Madame." "James!" "Yes, dear?" "James, do you write "Your Grace" with capital or small letters?" "Well ... that depends, whether can touch it or not." "How do you mean?" "That's how I learned it with old Chip." "For instance ..." ""The cat runs behind the stove."" ""the" gets a small letter, because you can't touch it." "A "Cat" you can touch, so it gets a capital." "You cannot touch "run", so it's small." ""Behind", that you can touch." "So with a capital." "As to the stove ... it all depends on the season." "I wonder what's keeping Mary so long." "But she has to cover such a long distance." "How posh you talk." "And she doesn't know this county." "And first of all, she doesn't know our castle yet." "I'm curious what she'll say about it." "Mary is a lady, she'll be thrilled." "That's what you think." "By the way, what are you writing?" "The addresses for the invitations to the first ball we're giving." "But "Henne" (chick)!" "Drop that rubbish!" "Don't you dare call my social ambitions rubbish." "But Henne!" "My name is Henriette." "Very well, Henriette." "Look here, Henne, we don't fit with those posh lords of the neighbourhood." "I do." "But you don't." "You!" "With that horribly vulgar moustache." "As if that mattered." "By the way, not very long ago, that horribly vulgar moustache has been horribly pleasant in tickling you." "What's the use of making money, if you can't conquer a great social position with it?" "And I'm going to conquer it." "Good day." "I'm Mary Potter." "I have the honour to welcome Miss Potter." "Please have the ?" "[part missing]" "I'll see to it at once." "Pardon, I didn't want to offend you." " The Demoiselle." " Hallo!" "Mary!" "Little Mary!" "Papa." "Papa." "Good day, my dear Mary." "Good day, Henr...." "Good day." " Big reunion." " Miss Mary has arrived?" "What's she like?" "Quite nice, a bit conceited." "I'm very happy to be with you again." "How do you like our new home?" "Very pretty." "Very very pretty." "I'll have a look at it all later." "You must be hungry, my child." "Only a cup of tea and a slice of bread." "I've had lunch on the road." "Tea and sandwiches, my dear Mary." "Presently." "Hoppy!" "Bessie!" "James!" "Dolly!" "She's become even more elegant." "And how!" "You, Mary ... you might come to an understanding with her about a form of address, will you." "But I can no longer call her Henriette, like I used to when ... when she was still your nursemaid, is that what you mean?" "You can be frank with me." "And I can't call her Mama either." "I used to call my mother that." "Are you very angry with me that I married Henriette?" "But Papa!" "Was it your idea, buying the castle?" "She bought it, I only paid for it." "You're looking a bit pale, little Mary." "I've been working a lot, Papa." "I'm preparing for the doctorate exam next spring." "I see." "Then you can examine why mankind prefers my whisky to all other brands." "Oh, Mary ..." "Don't!" "The servants!" "But you're dressed so plainly, my child." "For the drive." "Should I have been in silk and velvet?" "And I don't see your valuables?" "I beg your pardon?" "The jewelry." "I see." "But Henr..." "But you wear those jewels only with an evening gown, when you want to look pretty." "Is that so?" "Well, let's have a cup of tea." "Very well, let's have a cup of tea." "Oh, invitations?" "Yes." "To our neighbours, for the first ball we're giving." "Do you already know your neighbours?" "But child, we give the ball so that they get to know us." "What kind of neighbours do you have?" "The Lords of Spiller, the Lords of Wimple, the Earls of Winningham, the Counts Massani ..." "What names, what names!" "Aren't they?" "Come along." "Spiller Castle." "Yes Mam." "This is Jerôme speaking." "Presently, Milady." "Milady is coming right now." "Lady Wimple." "Hallo, dearest." "You can imagine, my dear, why I'm calling." "I can indeed." "So you too have received an invitation from the Potters?" "We have." "An awkward situation." "Personally, I have nothing against those people." "But to accept this invitation would mean to commence social relations." "Yes." "And it doesn't feel quite right." "I'm sure they're perfectly respectable, but one never knows, they might lose countenance one day." "So we'll decline?" "I see no other way." "Thus all further relations will be impossible." "I wholly agree." "Good-bye, dearest." "Good-bye, my dear." "Good-bye, Mama." "I'm going out hunting." "What do you think about the Potter invitation?" "Those invitations seem to have shaken plenty of castles in the county to the core." "Why the irony?" "But the Potters may be very nice people, Mama." "I wholly agree." "But that's not the point." "If Mr. and Mrs. Potter send out invitations without having called first," "I can only conclude that they don't know what's proper in our circles." "A slight error of form, Mama." "Let's not quarrel about the size of the error, Robert." "Further errors might follow, and ... we don't want to expose ourselves to that." "Don't we?" "James!" "James!" "What is Madame's command?" "Leave it on." "I've put the music here on purpose." " What are you doing down there?" " Isn't it obvious?" "I'm playing tennis." "That is, I go through movements to keep my handsome figure." "Stop that unbecoming occupation and come up at once, it's most important!" "James!" "Hobby!" "A windowpane has been broken in the porch door." "Clear away the splinters at once and call for a glazier." "Well, what's so important?" "What could be of importance in this neighbourhood anyway?" "Here are the answers to our invitations." "All of them enthusiastic acceptances, right?" "On the contrary, nothing but refusals." "That serves you right!" " Kaffir!" " Milady!" " Shut up!" "On that wall we'll hang something from the early Romantic period, something Gothic." "You see, and on this wall a nice big "Dutchman"." "And on the ceiling perhaps a nice soft Limburger." "(cheese)" "You hippopotamus!" "But Henriette!" "So they all sent refusals?" "How do you know?" "But you've announced it clearly enough." "Don't annoy me any more, you ..." "And here right in the middle of the hall ... we'll put up an equestrian statue of you, of course." "If I weren't a lady ..." "I'd give you a good kick at your balloon." "But you are a lady." "Unfortunately." "This is outrageous!" "Refusals, nothing but refusals." "Without any excuses." "I hope this will be a lesson to both of you." "And that those people are finished for you once and for all." "Bravo!" "No!" "No!" "More than ever, no!" "Those people shall one day open up their houses to me, even if it would cost me a million." "Me." "Me." "For me, they are finished." "You think so?" "Little Mary, I can already see you as the wife of one of the young lords." "I see." "So that was the reason for the ball." "I'm sorry but I must leave for London today." "Francis, you'll come for me tomorrow at the same time, will you?" "But Milord can't spent the whole night out here, all alone?" "Do you have many relatives, Francis?" "No Milord, none at all." "Then you won't understand why I want to be alone at least once a month." "Good-bye." "Good-bye." "Come in." "Hallo." "Come in." "The door's open." "I can't move right now." "Good evening." "I beg your pardon, I ..." "I had a puncture." "So had I." "I shot at the milk and forgot that I cannot switch it off." "Hand me a milk pot, will you." "I thank you." "Won't you take it?" "I see." "Excuse me." "I'm sorry to receive you like this, but ... you can see for yourself:" "a superior force." "No, it is I who must apologize that I ... in the middle of the night ..." "But that's what's so charming." "I'd like to give you an explanation." "Yes?" "I drove right into a pond, out there in the fog." "With a fog like that, you drive around in a strange countryside in the middle of the night?" "You surely must love driving." "I do." "If you love driving so much, why don't you learn it?" "What do you mean?" "You drove into the water, didn't you?" "You can believe what you like." "But I need some help." "A whisky." "That wouldn't be such a bad idea right now." "I hope you haven't caught a cold." "Allow me to introduce myself." "James Potter's Whisky" "No, please don't." "I don't want to give my name either." "I see." "So that drive of yours was a little caper?" " Here you are." " Thank you." "Do you have a telephone?" "I regret, I don't have a telephone, I'm here so that I can't be called by phone." "Do you have a car that could pull my car out of the pond?" "I don't have a car either." "But if you'd like to join me in eating an omelette ..." "Here you go." "I don't know the countryside around here." "Would you accompany me to the nearest highroad where I could stop a car?" "Not a chance." "And we'd have to walk for two hours." "But that would be better than to ..." "Than to have an omelette in here?" "I don't agree." "How will you get yourself noticed on the highroad, with a fog like that?" "Even if a car went by." "So it'll be the omlette after all." "Shouldn't I rather do the cooking?" "But I'm so proud of it." "You couldn't possibly cook as well as I do." "And people say that nowadays there's no more romance." "If this isn't romance ..." "A lonely cabin, a young man, a young lady, he doesn't know who she is, she doesn't know who he is." "Isn't this extra nice and romantic?" "And how!" "Does Madame desire coffee or tea after supper?" "Then I'd put the kettle right on." "I didn't serve jam with the omelette, but it has been the most charming supper of my hitherto short life." "I wonder if my car has sunk into the water by now." "How terribly prosaic you are!" " I'm romanticizing about our chambre séparée, and you ..." " What was that?" "Chambre séparée." "A young girl like you doesn't know that word any more." "I only know it from hear-say, but ... a chambre séparée, that was the occasional highlight in our forefathers' lives." "A secret supper, with a pretty woman, just like the two of us here, only completely different." "That's for sure." "Because they would have had some music." "Why, I never!" "You have a radio in here, but no telephone!" "I can switch off the radio when I don't like the program." "I cannot switch off the phone, even though I like the program even less." "May I have this dance?" "What was this?" "Now we'll dance of course." "Seriously?" "No, I was only joking." "Won't you tell me your name now?" "Why not?" "I have my reasons." "Believe me, it's better that we don't know each other." "I thank you." "Anything else I can do for Madame?" "Couldn't one turn down the radio a bit?" "Switch it off?" "No, only turn it a bit down ... like ... a cradle-song ... a lullaby." "¶ I believe it's time for you to go to sleep" "¶ it has been a pleasure, it has been wunderschön" "¶ I'd like to see you home, but only if it doesn't bother you" "¶ and as is proper, I'll leave you at your door." "¶ it wouldn't be smart to walk home alone" "¶ because at a time like this, anything might happen" "¶ anything might happen" "¶ anything might happen" "¶ I think it's time for us to go you've composed this very nicely ... and especially very fast." "Composed?" "Why?" "But that was the title of the song." "How dare you!" "But since we don't know each other ..." "The victory of the bovine over the technical." "Shall we really part as strangers?" "Yes." "I thank you." "See you." "I don't think so." "The Demoiselle has just arrived." "What?" "Good morning." "Mary!" "Good morning." "I've come back." "Well ..." "I've changed my mind." "I think it wasn't right of me to leave you so suddenly, just because of a slight difference of opinion." "I see you so rarely ... and the countryside around here is so pretty ... and romantic ... well ... and here I am again." "That's nice." "Little Mary." "Say, Francis, do you know of an open Sport Messham around here?" "A small two seater, light grey and red." "No Milord." "A pity." "Since when is Mary so musical?" "Since 9:20." "Seems to be a kind of cradle-song, isn't it?" "Yes, for grown-ups." "You, Henne." "Henriette." "I think Mary is in love." "If only you wouldn't talk such nonsense all the time." "I too talk nonsense sometimes, but I always think first of what I'm going to say." "I'm positively suffering when I see your moustache." "The two suit each other wonderfully." "Just imagine, Countess Massani got from her husband as a wedding present a tiara with 20 pearls." "The biggest the size of cherries, and the smallest still the size of raisins." "Is that so?" "When we get married, you'll get 20 pearls as big as prunes." "But pearls as big as that don't exist." "And raisins as big as that don't exist either." "8 days from now we'll have our Knighthood Ball in London." "We've just laid the cards whether the Duke will come." "Mama, what shall you be wearing at the ball?" "I ask because our colours mustn't clash." "I've ordered a moirée gown, in silver." "I'll wear bleu then, bleu is my favourite colour." "Henry!" "What are you doing?" "I'm showing Robert Ali Baba's Spanish step." "Ali Baba?" "Who's he?" "The new grey I bought." "A fabulous horse." "We were just talking about our Knighthood Ball." "I open the session of preliminary talks for our Masters' Ball which will take place here at Wimple Castle in 8 days." "As representative of his colleagues at Spiller Castle I welcome Mr. Francis." "The ball funds have been checked and found in order." "The sum consisting partly of penalties from the last ball and partly of donations, allows us to engage a small but elegant dance band, two hired valets to serve on us, and to purchase the necessary food and drinks." "Bravo." "Bravo." "But we owe special thanks to our esteemed cook Annie whose penalties from the last ball amounted to 1 1/2 monthly wages." "Bravo." "Bravo." "I'm coming now to the main item on our agenda, (order of the day) or rather, on our order of the night." "It concerns the new colleagues at Bluehill Castle." "I have the following to say on the matter:" "The masters of Bluehill Castle are being socially boycotted by our masters." "But this is no reason for us to boycott our colleagues." "And besides, we want to have fun." "Bravo." "Bravo." "I therefore put it to vote whether the colleagues of Bluehill Castle shall be invited or not." "I am delighted to make your acquaintance by phone." "My name is Hoppy." "We've voted unanimously to invite you and your colleagues to our Masters' Ball at Wimple Castle next Thursday." "Many thanks for the great honour." "But may I ask, what do you mean by "Masters' Ball"?" "You know, it's a popular joke among the so-called upper classes to have a Servants' Balls, where they try to imitate us." "Forgive me, but those clumsy efforts always make me laugh." "We proceed the other way round:" "We have an annual "Masters' Ball"." "I see." "Consequently my colleagues and I are to appear as the Potter family." "That's right." "Your esteemed name was Hoppy?" "Yes." "Hoppy." "You'll receive a written invitation, it'll be under the name of the Potter family, but of course addressed to you, Mr. Hoppy." "Yes, we'll all be very pleased to make the acquaintance of yourself and your colleagues." "I have the honour." "Hallo!" "Officer!" "Milord?" "Do you know of an open Sport Messham around here?" " Light grey, red." " No, Milord." "Thank you." "We won't get our evening off for the ball at Wimple Castle." "But you told them that we wanted to go?" "I'm not that crazy." "But Madame is in a foul mood, and that's why we don't get our day off." "But we'll have our revenge." "Fetch me ink and a pen." "Why?" "You'll see." "This is our invitation to the ball, addressed to myself." "And this is an empty envelope." "And now pay close attention." "That's it." "And now this invitation is addressed to ... the Potter family." "But ... hold your tongues." "Hallo, Wineman!" "Milord?" "Do you know of a little Sport Messham around here?" "I regret, Milord." "Now I give up." "This has just been delivered from Wimple Castle." "James!" "James!" "James!" "An invitation!" "Who from?" "From Their Lordships of Wimple Castle." "They've changed their mind, they're inviting us." "But we're not going, I hope." "Are you out of your mind!" "Of course we'll go." "And stop those exercises." "James, they make amends, they invite us." "They know now who we are and what we're worth." "Mary!" "Mary!" "It seems somebody is slowly but surely getting ideas above her head." "But you're not going looking like that!" "Now the moustache must come off!" "Mary!" "Oh, Mary!" "Mary!" "Mary!" "Mary, they've invited us." " Who?" " Our neighbours, the Wimples, the Lords, to a ball." "But Mary, you won't make any difficulties, you'll go?" "Mary, for my sake, please do." "You see, by this invitation they've made great amends." "I fail to understand what made them invite us, but I'll go." "Mary, my darling." "I've achieved my goal." "You've lost a curl, Henriette." "There's no harm in that." "This will be the greatest day of my life." "Now the beard is off." "Enough." "Rehearsal." "Lord Robert Spiller" "What a charming reception." "My parents will be delighted." "My dear nephew." "Robert" "Good evening, Henry." "Dearest Georgia, always so elegant." "Bleu is my favourite colour." "Lord and Lady Spiller." "Good evening." " My dear." " My dearest." " My sweetest." "Mr. and Mrs. James Potter and Miss Potter" "Good evening." "It's a bit slippery here." "How embarrassing." " Good evening." " Good evening." "Good evening." "Allow me to introduce:" "His Grace the Duke of Birry-Birry" "Pardon me, the Duke." " Take away that carpet." " Very well." " Duke." " Milord." "Allow me ..." "Count and Countess Massani." "Sir Reginald Vandermoor" "Lord and Lady Chetterham" "Milady." "Duke." "A shilling for the squeak." "But that dirty cactus just pricked me." "Another shilling for the dirty cactus." "Well, gentlemen ..." "I ... one moment please, my father wants me." "Excuse me, Milady." "Well, Mary." "Well, Papa." "What do you think about those people here?" "If they are lords and ladies then I'm at least the Emperor of India." "But I'd like to know ... who those people are and what's going on here." "The servants are having a joke." "Of course, that's right, the servants." "And now I understand why we've been invited." "Well Hoppy can be pleased, I'll kick him out by tomorrow." "Papa, let's leave." "No Mary, we'll stay." "I have my reasons, you see." " You see?" " I see." "You mean Henriette ... you mean your wife doesn't have a clue?" "Not a clue." "And it might turn out to be a wholesome lesson for her." "I don't know, Papa." "Little Mary, please." "Do it for my sake, will you?" "Milady." "You're so racy!" "Georgia, mustn't we dance once in a while?" "But I've promised this dance to the Duke." "Really?" "I consider this, mildly speaking, a great error of form." "My bride seems to have a great time in the Duke's arms." "What a charming dress you're wearing." "Bleu is my favourite colour." "Mine too." "Would you marry Georgia if you didn't have to follow a high tradition?" "That says it all." "And I feel with you." "Thank you." "You know what we'll do now, Henry?" "We'll drive up to my hunting lodge, tonight we'll get the 16-antlered (deer) in front of our guns." "Great." "But we must change first." "¶ How do you do, wie geht es?" "¶ How do you do, wie steht es?" "¶ can you spare some time for me tonight?" "¶ How do you do, wie geht es, ¶ How do you do, wie steht es" "¶ I'm ready for any naughtiness tonight" "¶ so if you're still free and want to join in" "¶ I'll drop by quietly, shortly past eight" "I think it's heavenly at your ball, Milord." "I've imagined you all quite differently." "Really?" "How about the two of us meeting tomorrow somewhere, Madame?" "But Milord!" "¶ How do you do, wie geht es, ¶ How do you do, wie steht es" "¶ can you spare some time for me tonight" "¶ How do you do, wie geht es, ¶ How do you do, wie steht es" "¶ I'm ready for any naughtiness tonight" "¶ so if you're still free and want to join in" "¶ I'll drop by quietly, shortly past eight" "You pig!" "But a good one, eh?" "One shilling for the squeak," "Got a spare one?" "Of course." "Here's a pound." "Oh, thank you." "A pound?" "Oh boy!" "Will you take me out one night?" " The two of us?" " Yes." "Careful, my wife!" "What's this collection for?" "For the next ball." "Really?" "I didn't know your circles were so practical." "And besides, it's mighty cozy here." "I've had a completely wrong impression of the high nobility." "You old jester." "Push me against the wall now." "I'm naked at the back again." "¶ How do you do, wie geht es, ¶ How do you do, wie steht es" "¶ Can you spare some time for me tonight?" "¶ How do you do, wie geht es, ¶ How do you do, wie steht es" "¶ tonight I'm ready for any naughtiness" "Where is Robert?" "And where is Henry?" "It seems they've left." "The Duke doesn't leave from Georgia's side." "I think a lot of deplorable errors have been committed tonight." "Lady Georgia." "I humbly ask for your forgiveness." "I've exposed you before all the guests." "I'm prepared to give you any satisfaction." "First somebody ought to bring a new dress." "Indeed." "I'll get your coat." "My child, I can't think of a more terrible thing to happen." "You're wrong, Mama." "Nothing better could have happened." "What do you mean?" "Why don't you dance?" "I'm not in the right mood." "But it's quite jolly here." "Exceptionally jolly." "Look how lively Mary is talking to the young lord." "I'm delighted." "Excuse me, I must leave you now." "I must change." "Change?" "Why?" "We're now dancing a ballet." "Who?" "We." "The Lords." "What kind of ballet?" "I wonder where Georgia is?" "Perhaps she doesn't want to come back to the ballroom." "And the Duke is nowhere to be seen either." "Oh!" "¶ I think it's time for us to go to bed now." "¶ It's been a pleasure, it's been delightful" "¶ I'd like to take you home, but if it's no trouble" "¶ and as is fitting, I'll turn right back at your door" "¶ it wouldn't be wise to go home alone" "¶ because at a time like this, anything might happen" "¶ anything might happen" "¶ anything might happen" "¶ I think it's time" "¶ we're leaving" "Georgia has left the ball with the Duke." "She's told us that she's determined to marry the Duke at once." "And what is to happen now?" "We must discuss this and get in touch with Robert." "I suggest not to spend the night in London, despite the late hour, but return at once to Wimple Castle." "A smashing evening, isn't it?" "Have a drink." "Thank you." "Another one of your tricks?" "Excellent." "But now have a real drink." "May I have some soda." "With pleasure." "My trick." "Robert, you absolutely have to buy me a bleu car, bleu is my favourite colour." "And I need new jewels, I simply cannot live without jewels." "Thank you." "Stay where you are." "Not one word, this thing is perfect." "And if you don't go on, you'll all get the sack." "Francis!" "Now seriously:" "Who is that young lady?" "Her, Milord?" "I believe she's a chambermaid at Bluehill, with the Potters." "With the Potters?" "I see." "So it was a caper after all." "I beg your pardon, Milord?" "What?" "No, nothing." "Remain seated." "Don't let me disturb you." "Otherwise I'll raise hell." "Please." "Sir." "A glass of champagne?" "So you're a valet at Wimple Castle?" "I am." "And this is how we meet again." "How dare you kiss me!" "Since I know now how well we suit each other." "I'm a valet at Wimple and you're chambermaid at Bluehill." "Who am I?" "I'm Mary Potter." " You're Mary Potter?" " Yes." "You ..." "How dare you kiss me again!" "Because you're Mary Potter." "You're glad about it, Lord Robert?" "And how!" "I cannot ..." "Did you just call me Lord Robert?" "I did." "You know who I am?" "I've always known it." "But this isn't dancing, this is just walking, hopping." "This is dancing!" "Something Russian!" "Have you any idea what this party is all about?" "I have." "A ball of valets, chauffeurs, majordomos, cooks..." "One must learn this." "Bring a few chairs." "And how did you get here?" "Somebody had a joke on my father and my stepmother." "They're here too?" "Yes." "Mary!" "Don't you know that I love you very much." "Maybe." "Why only maybe?" "Why?" "May I ask you who the lady is on the photograph, arm in arm with you?" "I see." "That's my cousin Georgia I was engaged to till tonight." "Till tonight?" "Only till tonight?" "Yes." "Strange." "Don't you think it would be best if we two just forgot about the beautiful hours in the hunting lodge, and parted ways?" "I don't." "I don't think so." "On the contrary." "I think it would be the worst." "But there isn't any other way." "There is." "Which one?" "10 gallon." "Filling station F76 speaking." "I'm calling on behalf of Mr. John." "He wants me to tell you that Their Lordships are on their way back to the castle." "Sincere thanks." "Stop!" "Stop!" "Their Lordships are coming back." "Clear out, everybody!" "What's the meaning of this?" "Maybe you see through it all now?" "I find us all rather silent." "And rightly so." "I keep wondering about the meaning of a phrase in Georgia's letter:" ""I'm determined to marry the Duke at once."" "What does it mean: "at once"?" "After all, one must prepare some documents first." "You're forgetting, my dear, that the only place where one can get married at once and without documents... the only place on earth where this is possible, is in this country, and not very far from here." "In Chipwick?" "Yes, in Chipwick." "In Chipwick." "By virtue of the Royal Prerogative of 1751 which bestowed on the locksmiths of Chipwick and all their descendants the privilege to perform marriages, I declare you man and wife." "There's another couple." "Any further orders, Master?" "I want to sleep." "If this is going to become a fashion, that the young people are in such a hurry that they must get married at night," "I'll retire." "Where are you taking me now?" "Since we're married to each other" "I suggest, to my place." "But Duke!" "The name's Archibald." "No Robert, we must get back to Wimple Castle!" "Why?" " Because of my father and ..." " Yes, I see, you're right." "Robert?" "Mary?" "Are we really married?" "And how!" "Beautiful." "I wonder what my father will say." "And my parents." "Everything in order?" "Yes it is." "Only in the hall still lay a few "apples"." "But we didn't serve any apples tonight, Charles." "We did." "If I didn't pity you so much, Henne, then I'd say, the let-down served you right." "Your silly ambitions." "That has been annoying me since long." "It seems you only married me to be able to act the great lady." "But James!" "All right, that's enough." "Stop snivelling." "Have you [Ihr] gone mad?" "You're still here?" "And we're not leaving till we know where my daughter is!" "Your daughter?" "Man, stop talking such crap!" "I'm telling you for the 6th time:" "I'm Mr. James Potter!" "Mr. James Potter will probably give you the sack, if you're still as drunk tomorrow." "But his is outrageous!" "I'm doing the talking!" "Man, I don't care who you think I am." "We're not leaving till I know where my daughter is." "Hallo John." "Did you make a home call and announce our arrival?" "Yes Milord." "That was very thoughtful of you, John." "We don't want to be disturbed." "Something fishy in the air." "Charles!" "We've waited for 10 minutes in the kitchen." "For 5 minutes we've been sitting here." "That makes 15." "Now the time's up." "Quiet." "Their Lordships have just come back." "All the better." " Let's leave." " You be silent!" "Where's my daughter?" " Get out, will you!" " Just try me, dude." "Gregoriev!" "What is the meaning of all this?" "The name's James Potter." "And that's my Henne... eh, my wife." "We're looking for my daughter who's disappeared in this house tonight." "In my house?" "Please come in." "It's all over." "What if they really are Mr. and Mrs. Potter?" "We must inform William at once." "And all the others." "There wasn't any party here tonight." "Were you here?" "No." "Then you ought to know." "I simply cannot believe it." "Well, do you believe now that there has been some action in here?" "Yes, we too had lots of fun with the pretty gadgets." "But since my daughter disappeared the fun has ended for me." "Gregoriev." "Milord." "Wake up all the servants and ask them to come here at once." "The servants have already lined up." "I see." "Let them come in." "Come in." "Where's Daisy?" "She'll be here presently, Milord." "The light isn't working in her room." "I wonder how he knows that." "Do you have anything to tell me?" "We are fully aware of our misconduct, Milord." "I shall remember this night." "What kind of dress is this?" "By mistake I picked the wrong clothes, I couldn't see anything." "My light bulb has fused." "It seems to me, something more than a light bulb has fused with all of you." "We shall ask for our immediate discharge, Milord." "I was just going to pronounce it." "I only wanted to anticipate Your Lordship." "I'm hiring all of you at my place, with a pay rise." "Because I had to betray your secret, unfortunately." "Lord Wimple." "Would you, as master of the house, be so kind as to ask after my daughter now?" "Does anybody know where Miss Potter is?" " Well?" " She left with Lord Robert long ago." "What do you mean?" "And how do you know?" "I watched the two." "Because Lord Robert didn't leave the Miss' side." "They started a pretty flirt, the two of them." "And the funny thing is, Lord Robert took, just like we did, the Miss for the Potter's chambermaid." "Can you make any sense of all this?" "None at all, my dear." "Are you satisfied now?" "Yes, I thank you." "You may go now." "Who's this?" "What's the matter?" "I see, you're back already from London, well that suits me fine." " But child!" " Mary!" "Where have you been?" "May I present to you Lord Robert." "Delighted to meet you." "Mr. Potter." "Robert!" "If you please!" "Excuse me." "... I just got married." "What?" "But little Mary!" "In Chipwick." "Oh Mary." "You see, Henne, you've gotten into the high aristocracy at last." "Congratulations." "Papa!" "Georgia's father has something to say to you." "Yes?" "My dear Robert," " I must ask to renounce Georgia." " With pleasure." " I beg your pardon?" " I mean, why?" "She wants to be the Duchess of Birry-Birry." "And probably she is, already." "She is already?" "But how is this possible?" "We suspect that she got married to the Duke in Chipwick." "In Chipwick?" "A pity, we might have run across each other." "You've been to Chipwick?" " Yes." " What business did you have in the middle of the night in Chipwick?" "I got married in Chipwick to Mary Potter." "Dearest!" "May I say something too now?" "Bravo Robert, bravo." "At last some fresh blood is getting into our families." "Allow me to introduce my wife?" "The wedding will take place at Bluehill Castle." "I'm sorry but none of us shall be present at that wedding." "THE TIMES price in Germany ..." "The young couple left immediatly after the wedding for their honeymoon." "Its destination is kept strictly secret." "The end" "Engl. subtitles: serdar202@KG"