"I've seen you lie, cheat, steal and try murder." "You've tried everything but begging." "Now get down on your knees and beg." "Camels." "Bah." "I suppose you think it's funny." "No, John, I think the desert camel corps was a good idea." "Well, maybe you never had to ride a camel." "Yes, I did, as a matter of fact, years ago." "It was a good idea and it should have worked." "Trouble with you cavalry people is that you tried to use camels like horses." "Camel is a sand animal." "You should have kept it on the desert." "Well, thank Christopher it's all over with." "I sold the last one for him in Elkhorn, Nevada." "And I need something to get my mind off of camels and this isn't doing it." "I'm beginning to see pink ones." ""For the third year, Mojave business man Billy Joe Kane" ""will bet that no rider can elude the town's posse" ""for 48 hours." ""The game is open to any rider who will cover Mr. Kane's bet." ""By surrounding the desert water hole," ""the posse has captured every contestant so far in less than 30 hours."" "Are you listening?" "I said I'm going to bathe in eau de cologne," "Get rid of the smell." "Then I'm going to find some excitement." "You said you sold the last one in Elkhorn, Nevada?" "Mm-hmm." "To a prospector." "Now, what kind of a fool would want to buy a camel?" "Well, John, you never can tell." "Sometimes your best friend." "Huh?" "I must have been crazy bidding on that thing." "Well, if you're crazy enough to turn me a profit," "I'll throw in that seat for nothing." "That's a genuine Army copy of one of them Araby saddles." "Also for free, I'm advising you- you're crazy." "Billy Joe Kane didn't invent this chase to lose money." "One canteen of water you're allowed." "That ain't enough for yourself much less your animal." "Ezekiel here carries his own water." "A fat lot of good that will do you." "Well, you're going to be out on the Mojave, Mister, where the sun is so bright, you can see it with your eyes shut... so dry your tongue swells up, and so hot it boils water out of your body." "Well, every desert has water holes." "Yeah, and Kane's posse knows where they are." "You think they're going to let you near the water?" "With those big flat feet of his," "Ezekiel can outrun any horse that ever lived." "I don't know, Mister." "You might want your money back." "Why?" "First thing, you need a ladder to get up into that saddle." "If you manage that, you can whip him and spur him and cuss him out." "You got a nice view from up there, but you ain't goin' noplace." "You don't mind if I try?" "Yup." "Kush, kush." "All the way down." "Kush, kush." "Kush." "All the way down." "Kush, kush." "Quit that." "Good bye, old timer." "Good bye." "Good luck." "There." "Now stay put." "Kush, kush." "Kush, kush, kush, kush..." "Kush... kush..." "Say, Mister, one of them horses that you just run off belongs to Mr. Kane." "Well, I imagine this will take care of rounding him up." "You might tell Mr. Kane he's got a customer." "Oh." "You going to ride that thing in chase?" "Mm-hmm." "Well, all I can say is, welcome to Mojave." "Thank you." "What do you want...?" "Oh, yeah." "Say, Mister as long as you're paying for damages..." "You're welcome." "Oh, well, he don't talk very much." "Uh, he don't have to." "He's a, he's an animal doctor." "I-I help him." "Yeah, but you know," "I-I-I never did see one of these um, these, uh... uh, one of them contraptions before." "Huh!" "Kind of..." "Kind of got the..." "got the head... the long head of a moose, ain't he?" "Silly expression on his face just like a jackass." "Bent legs like a goat." "Say, Mister." "There's just one question" "I'd like to ask you." "Is he vicious?" "No, he won't bite you." "Just one question." "How does a man breed all of them together?" "Well, it's not easy." "They really have to be in love." "Ah." "In various countries" "I've been served sheep eyes, roast dog and stewed lizard." "Compared to this, they were a bargain." "Well, it ain't the food that costs here, Mister." "It's the water." "Water I cooked in, water you drank." "Water I got to wash up in." "All for a dollar a gallon." "The Mojave pays high for the privilege of staying alive." "I can't afford to say nothing against Mr. Kane." "Billy Joe Kane?" "You afraid of him?" "He won't shoot me, if that's what you mean." "What happens if he won't sell me water?" "There's a town in New Mexico that had a similar problem." "Businessmen read that card carefully." "They didn't talk too much." "Then they came to see me." "I solved their problem." "Think about it." "Yes, sir." "We got a wire from your bank establishing credit." "Step inside, sir." "At your service." "Thank you." "We've been expecting you for several days." "Now, then, just what kind of an investment do you have in mind?" "The Mojave Chase." "Sir?" "I'm the man with the camel." "Uh, as your temporary banker, sir," "I don't recommend that as a sound investment." "Are you suggesting that the great Mojave Chase is run dishonestly?" "I am not, sir." "Mr. Kane is a reputable businessman." "Mr. Elkins, I'm curious." "How does a man get hold of a town's water supply?" "Billy Joe Kane ran across an old land sale law that folks had forgotten." "First thing we knew, he owned all our water." "Well, it's probably legal." "Mr. Elkins, is a dollar a gallon moral?" "And this chase, I suppose he finds that as profitable." "It's folks like you that make it profitable." "He knows you're a city man, sir." "He knows your beast was found unsatisfactory by the Army." "No offense meant, sir, but, uh, you've been talking too much." "Well, there's one other possibility, Mr. Elkins." "Maybe Mr. Kane has been listening too much." "May I have a draft, please?" "Yes, sir." "I'll need $5,000 in cash." "Say, if you had a few of these things around, Mr. Kane, you'd sell plenty of water." "Well, not that you're not doing all right as it is." "Why, that thing smells just as ugly as it looks." "Part jackass, part mule..." "You're the jackass, old friend." "That's a camel." "Camel?" "Oh, yeah." "Now, let me see, how did that go?" "Three wise men appeared on camels traveling to Bethlehem." "Well, I'll be spit on." "It makes me feel holy just watering it." "How much does it take?" "Oh, one, two, about four gallons I guess." "Say, I better go warn that fella." "An animal that needs that much water ain't fit to ride out in the desert." "You keep your ugly face shut." "Stever." "Pay him." "I can shut him up a lot easier." "That fist of yours will look bigger with money in it." "You, old friend, you spread the word for me," "I'll pay for information about him or his animal." "Stay right here, son." "I'll be right back." "I talked to some folks about your offer." "They like the deal but they don't want no killing." "Neither do I." "How much?" "$1,000 on delivery of the water rights to the open market." "You got a deal." "Mr. Paladin, Kane is my name." "My friends call me Billy Joe." "You took your time looking me up, Mr. Kane." "You're from San Francisco, I understand." "Now there's a lovely city." "Full of up-to-date buildings and pretty women." "Did you come here to pass the time of day or talk business?" "Well, fine." "Direct and to the point." "You're the kind of man I like." "I can't say the same." "Stever." "All right, Mister." "If you came here to make a bet, make it." "$5,000 and it's counted." "Well, looks like we got off on the wrong foot." "No need for two sportsmen to have an argument." "I'll just cover your bet." "What odds?" "Odds, Mr. Paladin?" "Well, after all..." "I'll give you two to one." "Five to one or no bet." "I'd have to put up $25,000." "That's not good business, Mister." "Elkins." "Four-to-one." "That's my best offer." "Elkins, I won't be needing this money." "Well, I wouldn't ask you in here if I didn't think..." "Hey, doggone it, you can't be that drunk." "You only had a quart of whiskey." "Say, Mr. Kane." "Mr. Kane, are you still buying information?" "Shut up." "Well, you better read this book here if I can..." "Maybe it's just as well, Mr. Kane." "You've been buying land pretty heavy." "Keep your advice to yourself, Elkins." "I can't." "The point is, you haven't got $25,000 in cash." "Well, sounds like I've been wasting my time and my money on a lot of big talk." "Say, Mr. Kane, you better read this book." "Shut up." "Riley, get these two out of here." "Oh, no, this book..." "Come on, outside." "Your a strange mixture, Kane." "So far you've gotten what you want without violence, without really breaking the law." "But you're being pushed now, and I wonder what that'll do to you." "When I want moralizing, Mister, I'll hire me a preacher." "No, you won't." "There's no immediate profit in it." "Elkins, just close my account." "Get me the money, Elkins." "I told you, Billy Joe, you got maybe $10,000 in cash, that's all." "I got ten times that in land, haven't I?" "I'll give you collateral for the other $15,000." "I'll sign over acreage." "Acreage, Mr. Kane?" "I might accept a deed to your water rights." "I can't advise that." "Ante, Mister, or leave the game." "Get the deed to the water." "And the $10,000." "And the cash." "Take Billy Joe Kane's hand now, Mister." "You've got a firm deal." "I hope so." ""The transfer of water rights is described below" ""after fulfillment of certain conditions, id es- that is, a wager by the party of..."" "Got a pencil?" "If pencil's agreeable to you..." "Hold it, Mr. Kane." "I say, you give me that book now." "You better take a look at this book." "That old coot had something after all." "Hey, now, Mr. Kane, you said that you'd pay for information." "That book is my property." "Now, listen..." "Go on home, old timer." "Mr. Elkins, would you read this?" "oldest domesticated animal." ""Water stored chiefly in the hump, enabling it to travel up to three days without water."" "No wonder it drank five gallons." ""Camels have been known to travel 150 miles in less than 11 hours."" "Well, that's incredible." "Kane, I'm still waiting for you to sign like you say we've got a firm deal." "Firm deal?" "Since when is betting with a crook a firm deal?" "Well, the law says that any man who misrepresents himself or his gaming equipment for purposes of a bet is guilty of a crime." "Now, that's a law I happen to agree with." "Suppose you tell us who misrepresented anything?" "Suppose you tell us," "Mister... who was it said the Army found camels no good?" "Who was parading how much water his animal needed?" "Who acted the dude out of Frisco?" "I merely presented certain facts." "You drew the conclusions." "You draw a conclusion from this." "Billy Joe." "My water rights are at stake, Elkins." "It's legal to protect yourself from a confidence man." "Now, I'm sayin' he forfeited that bet and he forfeited the money." "Now, Mr. Paladin, we'll just see you out of this town." "I'll walk!" "The Great Mojave Chase, Mr. Kane- it's on with one improvement." "I'm holding the stakes!" "Give me a gun!" "Give me that!" "Billy Joe, have you gone crazy?" "!" "He's a liar, and he's a cheat!" "You're the one that's lying to yourself." "Get after him!" "He's only got but one bullet in that Deringer." "He dropped the gun." "Hey, Mr. Paladin..." "you forgot your water!" "Water!" "Hyah!" "Hyah!" "Oh, shucks." "Poor fella forgot his water." "He won't last long without water." "Well, that's life." "In his case, death." "Hyah!" "Hyah!" "Come on." "Come on." "If I had some friend, that looks like water." "Come on." "Kush." "Kush." "Kush." "Ooh." "Was crawling'." "Got back up again." "He won't last long without water." "I give him 'bout an hour more." "Hey, Billy Joe!" "Hey, wake up." "The horses." "Oh!" "Come on." "Come on." "Come on, just over..." "next rise." "That's far enough, gentlemen." "All right, Paladin, let's have the water." "My men need it bad." "We stacked our weapons." "Duncan says you're an honest man, Billy Joe Kane." "Are you?" "So far, I've seen you lie, cheat, steal, and try murder." "You tried everything but begging." "Now get down on your knees, Billy Joe." "You don't know what water means out here." "You gave me a rough idea yesterday." "Now that I've been walking for hours..." "I could say I'm wrong." "I could say I'm sorry." "You wouldn't believe me." "Are you down on your knees, Billy Joe?" "Are you beggin'?" "!" "I'm not begging!" "I'm saying I lost the race." "I'm saying I forfeit the chase." "I'll sign the paper." "That means you're finished." "I worked land when I first came here." "I'll work land again." "I'm coming up to sign that paper." "You shoot, Paladin." "You shoot if you want to." "Guess you'll be wanting your own gun back." "I'll get the deed." "Better hang onto that one, too." "Thanks." "Thank you." "An empty gun can tell a man a lot of things." "Suppose you load this, keep it?" "Here's the deed." "Do you mind delivering that to Elkins at the bank?" "Tell him the town owns the water rights." "Our wager will more than cover my fee." "And the town owns the water, huh?" "Maybe that's the way it should've been done long ago." "My hand, Billy Joe Kane." "On the end of the Great Mojave Chase, you're a poor winner, but you're an excellent loser." "I'll ride Ezekiel back into town, send horses out for you." "And I think the townspeople might like a living monument to the day they got back their water rights." "Ezekiel..." "I'm giving you to the town of Mojave." "Well, I'm terribly sorry about it, old friend, but my hotel has very strict rules about pets." "Now, what can I do about that?"