"Subs by DIProgan  bakemstr" "to jest mój dzieñ, jak narazie." "trafi³em do wiê¿ienia, straci³em dziewczynê moich marzeñ i kopn¹³ mnie w ty³ek." "ca³kiem nie¿le." "Mimo to ,co mo¿e byæ owiele gorsze." "Oh, to prawda, spadam do mojej œmierci." "Domyœlam siê, ¿e nie mo¿e." "Jak to wszystko,o co pytasz?" "Mój koniec zaczyna siê na pocz¹tku." "The very beginning." "Yes, that's me." "I had a fairly standard childhood." "I came from what you might call, a broken home." "Literally, broken." "I was eight days old and still living with my parents." "How sad is that?" "Clearly it was time to move on." "Here is your, Minion, he will take care of you." "And here is your binkie." "You are destined for ..." "I didn't quite hear that last part." "But it sounded important." "Destined for, what?" "I set out to find my destiny." "Turns out a kid from the Blaupunkt quadrant had the exact same idea." "That was the day I met, Mr. Goody-two-shoes." "And our glorious rivalry, was born!" "Could this be what I was destined for?" "A dream life filled with luxury?" "Apparently not." "Even fate makes its favorite soup." "No big deal." "A much different fate awaited me." "A baby." "How thoughtful." "Oh yes, yes." "I saw it and thought of you." "Luckily I found a lovely little place to call home." "Can we keep him?" "A place that taught me the differences between right and wrong." "Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes on the other hand, had life handed to him on a silver platter." "Our baby can fly." "Yes, yes and that was not the best thing about him." "The power of flight, invulnerability, and great hair." "But I had something far, far greater," "My amazing intellect." "A knack for building objects of mayhem." "After a few years, and with some time off for good behavior." "I was given an opportunity to better myself through learning." "At a strange place called shh-ool." "It was there that I once again ran into Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes." "He had already amassed a gigantic army of soft headed groupies." "He bought their affections with showmanship, and extravagant gifts of deliciousness." "So I too would make this 'popped-corn' and win over those mindless dregs." "Lights out!" "That's when I learned a very hard lesson." "Good receives all the praise, adulation." "While evil is sent to quiet time in the corner." "So a fitting end wasn't really an option." "While they were learning the itsy bitsy spider." "I learned how to dehydrate animate objects." "and rehydrate them at will." "Someday's it felt like it was just me and Minion, against the world." "No matter how hard I tried." "I was always the odd man out." "The last one picked." "The screw-up...black sheep." "Bad boy." "Was this my destiny?" "Wait!" "Maybe it was." "Being bad is the one thing I'm good at." "Then it hit me." "If I was the bad boy." "Then I was going to be the baddest boy of them all." "I was destined to be a super villain." "And we were destined to be rivals." "The die had been cast." "And so began an enduring epic, life long career." "And I loved it." "Our battles quickly got more elaborate." "He would win some, I would almost win others." "He took the name, Metro Man." "Defender of Matrosity." "I decided to pick up something a little more humble." "Megamind." "Incredibly handsome criminal genius, and master of all villainy." "Read on your own time." "Open up." "Hey!" "BOO!" "(Evil, obnoxious laughter)" "Oh, good morning, Warden." "Great news, I'm a changed man." "And I'm ready to re-enter society as a solid citizen." "You're a villain, and you're always be a villain." "You'll never change." "And you'll never leave." "You're fun." "You got a present in the mail." "Is it a puppy?" "From Metro Man." "To count every second of your 85 life sentences." "That's funny, never thought Metro Man was the gloating type." "Oh but he does have nice taste." "I think I'll keep it." "Any chance you can give me the time?" "I don't want to be late for the opening of the Metro Man museum." "Oh no, looks like you're gonna miss it." "By several thousand years." "Oh, am I?" "(Evil sinful, laughter)" "Happy Metro Man day, Metro City." "It's a beautiful day downtown where we're here to honor a beautiful man." "Metro Man." "His heart is an ocean that's inside a bigger ocean." "For years he's been watching us with his super-vision." "Saving us with his super strength, and caring for us with his super heart." "Now it's our turn to give something back." "This is Roxanne Ritchi reporting live, from the dedication of the Metro Man Museum." "Wow, okay, the stuff they make you read on the air." "That's unfreaking believable, it's crazy." "I wrote that piece myself, Hal." "What I was trying to say was," "I can't believe that in our modern society they let like actual art get onto the news." "Nice save, Hal." "What are we, like lets just get a coffee or something." "Come on, it's time to get in the Metro Man day spirit." "Whoa, If I were Metro Man Megamind wouldn't be kidnapping you all the time." "That's the first thing." "That's sweet of you." "And I'd be watching you, like a dingo watches a human baby." "Mmm." "Okay, that sounded, Okay that sounded a little weird." "Little bit, yeah." "And you're making your face, and that's making me feel weird." "Not love, we're not in love." "I'm not saying I love you." "Okay, I love you, whatever." "I'm not saying I'm in love with you." "I'm saying..." "Roxanne?" "Roxaroo?" "Get back to work." "The city doesn't pay you to loaf." "Freeze!" "Whoa, what are you doing, guys?" "It's ME!" "Hey, open up." "Oh, you fools." "He's tricked us." "You were right." "I'll always be a villain." "(George Thorogood's 'Bad to the Bone')" "Well hello good looking, need a lift?" "Certainly do, you fantastic fish you." "Get in the car then." "Thanks for sending me the watch, Minion." "You got it, boss." "All right, put your hands in the air." "Ladies and gentlemen, your Metro Man." "And..." "Metro Men." "Hello, Metro City!" "Give me some, come on give it now." "Give it to me." "What?" "Give it to me...all right!" "Hey, Metro city." "Hello, hey." "You know, you actually want to bring it down a bit." "Boys, a little lower." "Thank you fellows." "Let's get real for a moment." "That's right, that's right...that's right." "Although getting a whole museum is super cool." "Super cool, you want to know what the greatest honor you've given me is?" "Do you really want to know?" "Really?" "Then I'll tell you." "The greatest honor you've given me is letting me serve you." "To help these people of Metro city." "And at the end of every day." "(Sighs) Well." "I often ask myself." "Who would I be, without you?" "I love you Metro Man!" "And I love you, random citizen." "I tell you Minion, there's no place like evil lair." "I kept it cold and damp, just for you, sir." "How do I look, Minion?" "Do I look bad?" "Disgustingly horrifying, sir." "You always know what to say." "All the brain-bots certainly missed you, sir." "Did you miss your daddy?" "Whose the menacing little brains?" "You are, yes you are." "Uh, uh!" "No biting, no, no, no." "No, no, no." "You want the wrench?" "Go get the wrench." "Now, back to work." "Put her over there, quick, to work." "Miss Ritchi, we meet again." "Would it kill you to wash the bag?" "You can scream all you wish, Miss Ritchi." "I'm afraid no one can hear you." "Wha..why isn't she screaming?" "Miss Ritchi, if you don't mind." "Like this..." "AHHHHH!" "That's, that's a poor ladies scream." "AHHHHH!" "A little better." "Is there some kind of nerdy super villain website, where you get Tesla coils, and blinky dials?" "Actually most of it comes from an outlet store in..." "Don't answer that." "...Romania." "Don't!" "Stop!" "She's using her nosey reporter skills, on your weak little mind to find out all our secrets." "Such tricks...won't work..." "on me." "Please talk slower" "Temptress." "What secrets?" "You're so predictable." "Predictable, predictable?" "Oh, you call THIS predictable?" "Your Alligators, yes." "I was thinking about it on the way over." "What's this?" "BOOM!" "In your face." "Cliché." "No, look, watch." "Juvenile." "Shuck it all!" "Tacky" "Oh, so sorry." "Seen it." "What's this one do?" "Garish." "Okay, the spiders new." "Spider?" "Ee, Uh, yes!" "The *spee..ider*." "Even the smallest bite from arachnis deathicus" "Will instantly paralyze..." "OW!" "Get it off!" "Ow!" "Forget it Megamind." "Your plans never work." "Let's stop wasting time and call your boyfriend in tights, shall we?" "It is a great pleasure that I present to Metro Man, this new museum." "If you please." "Hey!" "Uh, my kid can't see." "(Evil, Maniacal Laughter)" "Megamind." "Oh, bravo Metro Man." "(Crowd booing)" "Booooo!" "Yes, I can play along too." "Booooo." "Should have known you'd try to crash the party." "Oh, I intend to do more than crash it." "This is the day you and Montrocity, shall not soon forget." "It's pronounced Metro City!" "Oh, potato, tomato, potato, tomato." "We all know how this ends." "With you behind bars." "Oh, I'm shaking in my custom baby seal-leather boots." "You will leave, Montrocity." "Or this will be the last you ever hear of, Roxanne Ritchi!" "Huh?" "Roxanne!" "Don't panic Roxie, I'm on my way." "I'm not panicking." "You need to find me first, Metro Man." "We're at the Baylor observatory." "Ah ha, no we're not!" "Don't listen to her, she's crazy." "Metro Man approaching, sir." "HAH!" "Hah, hah!" "Hah, hah, hah." "(Evil, Maniacal, Diabolical, Laughter)" "Hold on a second." "Oh, good heavens." "You didn't think you were at the real observatory, did you?" "Ready the death ray, Minion." "Death ray, ready." "Over here, old friend." "In case you haven't noticed, you've fallen right into my trap." "You can't trap justice." "It's an idea, a belief." "Even the most heartfelt belief, can be corroded in time." "Justice is a noncorrosive metal." "What metals can't be melted by the heat of 're-vange'." "It's 'revenge' and it's best served cold." "But it can be easily reheated, in a microwave of evil." "Well I think your warranty is about to expire." "Maybe I got an extended warranty?" "Warranties are invalid if you don't use the product for it's intended purpose." "Oh, girls, girls, you're both pretty." "Can I go home now?" "Of course, that is if Metro Man, can withstand the full concentrated power of the..." "SUN!" "FIRE!" "Minion, fire..." "Uh, it's still warming up, sir." "Come again?" "Warming up, sir." "Warming up?" "The sun is warming up?" "One...sssecond...more." "aaannnd....jussst." "Tippy, tappy tippy tap, tap, tip top more." "And we are ready, in just." "Oh!" "I told you to have things running." "Told you out of the sounds." "Why do you always blame me?" "My spider bite is acting." "Your plan is failing, just admit it." "Yeah, good luck with that one." "Whose side are you on?" "The losing side." "Thank you." "Oh, could someone stamp my frequent kidnapping card?" "(Sarcastic laughter)" "You of all people, know we discontinued that promotion." "Ta, ta all." "Same time next week?" "What did he just say?" "Crab nuggets?" "Good lord, I'm trapped." "What kind of trickery is this?" "You mad genius." "Your dark gift has finally paid off." "It, it has?" "This dome is obviously lined with copper." "Yeah, so?" "Copper drains my powers." "Your weakness is copper?" "You're kidding, right?" "(coughs) I don't think even he could survive that." "Well, lets not get our hopes up just yet." "Look!" "Metro Man." "(Gasps) Metro Man..." "Metro Man!" "AHHH!" "Oh god!" "Oh my god, oh!" "You did it, sir." "I did it?" "He did it." "I did it." "He did it." "You did it, sir." "I did it!" "You did it." "I did it!" "Metro city is mine!" "All right people, hit it." "(Minion and Megamind complimenting each other)" "Hit it!" "(ACDC 'Highway to Hell' playing)" "Drop 'em." "(Minnie Riperton's Loving you playing)" "(Highway to hell shifting to Minnie Riperton's 'Loving you')" "First off, what a turnout." "How wild is this, huh?" "All I did was eliminate the most powerful man in the universe." "Are there any questions?" "Come on..yes?" "You in the back." "I'm sure we'd all like to know what you plan to do with us." "And the city." "Good, I'm glad you asked that one." "Imagine, the most horrible, terrifying evil thing you could possibly think of." "And multiply it by..." "SIX!" "In the mean time I want you to carry on, with the dreary normal things you," "Normal people do." "Let's just have fun with this, come on." "And I will get back to you." "Now slam the door, really hard." "They can still see you." "Now?" "Yeah, you're still there." "Oh," "Let's get going." "There he is, Mr. Evil Overlord." "Ahh, Minion." "Did you think this day would ever come?" "No way, not ever." "Never, never in a million, not even..." "Yes, I did." "Look at the intricate moon links." "I'm looking, I'm looking." "And what's this?" "Look like one of the giant monitors, at the lair." "It seems to only carry one station." "Oh, that sir is called a window." "Window..." "All the kids are looking through them." "Oooo, I've never had a view before." "Montrosity window, it's all mine." "If my parents could see me now." "Sir, I'm sure they're smiling down from evil heaven." "Well now that Mr. Goody-two-shoes is out of the way." "I can have, everything I want!" "And there's no one to stop me." "(Gilbert O'Sullivan's "Alone again, naturally")" "I know, I know." "Always thirsty, never satisfied." "I understand you, little well dressed bird." "Purposeless, emptiness, it's a vacuum isn't it." "What's your vacuum like?" "Going off the rails, on a crazy train, sir." "Hey, hey, hey!" "Not now, Minion." "I'm in a heated existential discussion with this dead-eyed plastic desk toy." "I...is something wrong, sir?" "Just think about it." "We have it all." "But we have nothing." "It's just to easy now." "I'm sorry, you've lost me, sir." "I mean, we did it." "Well, you did it, sir." "Yes you've made that perfectly clear." "Then why do I feel so, Mel-on-cholly?" "Huh?" "Unhappy." "Oh, uh well, uh." "What if tomorrow, we could go kidnap Roxanne Ritchi." "That always seemed to lift your spirits." "Good idea, Minion." "But without him, what's the point?" "Him, sir?" "Nothing." "Okay, um, all right well just uh, that's uh, something to consider and um, well, I think I'll just power down for a while then." "He was always there for us." "Dependable." "Perhaps we took him for granted." "Maybe we never really know how good we have it, until it's gone." "We miss you, Metro Man." "I, miss you." "And I have just one question for, Megamind." "Are you happy now?" "This is Roxanne Ritchi reporting from a city without a hero." "Coming up next." "Are you ready to be a slave army?" "What you need to know." "Aaannd wrap that up and give it to a child on Christmas." "'Cause we're done." "Okay, see you tomorrow, Hal." "Wait, Roxie." "I'm having a party at my house." "Coming off the hook, or whatever." "You should come on over." "I got a DJ rented a bouncy house." "Made a gallon of dip." "It's gonna be sick." "Oh, I don't know, Hal." "I don't really fell like being around a bunch of people." "No, no, no." "That's why it'll just be, like you and me." "Wow, that uh, that's certainly very tempting." "But," "I did hire a wedding photographer." "That's just in case, we were like something crazy happened." "And you'd want a picture of it." "Like maybe we should have this for like ever, like a memory, you know." "Um, I'm gonna pass." "I have some work here I need to do." "Okay, bye." "So Thursday?" "Soft, Thursday." "Goodnight, Hal." "It's a soft yes, on Thursday." "What's, wrong with me?" "Rented a bouncy house?" "She doesn't like bouncy houses, she likes a clown." "Stupid van!" "Broken finger!" "I've made a horrible mistake." "I didn't mean to destroy you." "I mean, I meant to destroy you." "But I didn't think it would really work." "What are we supposed to do?" "Without you evil is running rampant through the street" "I am so tired of running rampant through the streets." "What's the point of being bad when there's no good to try to stop you?" "Someone has to stop Megamind." "Hey, we're closing soon." "Oh, you scared me." "Barry, right?" "Bernard." "Bernard, I was just well I was talking to myself." "You probably think I'm a little bit nuts." "I'm not allowed to insult capts directly." "Thank you, I just..." "Bernard, I'll just be another minute." "Okay." "Thanks." "I had so many evil plans in the works." "The illiteracy beam." "Typhoon cheese." "Robo sheep." "Battles we will now, never have." "You know we never had the chance to say goodbye." "So, it's good that we have this time now." "You know, before I destroy the place." "Nothing personal, it just brings back to many painful memories." "Hello, hello?" "Roxanne!" "That's a pretty tasteless costume." "Costume?" "Megamind's head is not that grossly exagarated." "Oh you even made a cheap replica of his dehydration gun." "How..." "Hello, is someone there?" "Hello, who's there?" "Whoa!" "Hey, hey." "Whew." "It's just you, Bernard." "Oh, yes it's just me." "Bernard." "Well thank you for letting me stay." "Look, I wouldn't stay here for more than two minutes and thirty six seconds if I were you." "We're having the walls and ceiling removed." "Wow, that sounds like." "Quite the renovation." "I guess I'll." "Guess I'll ride down with you then." "I kept thinking he was going to do one of his last minute escapes." "Yeah, he was really good at those." "Oh, if only the world had a reset button." "I've looked into the reset button." "The size is impossible." "Bernard, I didn't know you had...feelings." "Are you okay?" "Metro Man is gone." "And now there's no one left to challenge Megamind." "Oh, come on, Bernard." "As long as there's evil good will rise up against it." "Ohhh, I wish." "I believe someone is going to stand up to Megamind." "You really think so?" "Yeah." "I mean, it's like they say." "Heroes aren't born, they're made." "Hero's can be made." "That's it!" "All you need are the right ingredients." "Yeah." "Bravery." "Yes." "Strength." "Of course." "Determination." "Imperative." "And a smidgen of DNA." "With that, anyone can be a hero." "Yeah!" "I think we should run." "Bye." "Time to put the past behind us." "Only the future..." "AHH!" "Oh, that's to much." "I'm definitely scared right now." "Oh, hope no ones seeing this." "Create a hero?" "A what?" "Why would you do that?" "So I have someone to fight." "Minion, I'm a villain without a hero." "A ying, with no yang." "A bull fighter with no bull to fight." "In other words, I have no purpose." "Now, ask me how I'm going to do it." "Go on, ask." "How are you doing to do it?" "I'm going to use someone, I don't know who yet." "Metro Man's powers." "I'm going to train that someone to be Montrocity's new hero." "Over here, follow." "And then, finally I'm going to fight that hero." "In an epic battle of good and evil." "We could put everything back the way it was." "When the world was perfect." "And rosy." "Behold, Minion." "Metro Man's cape." "Look closely." "Tell me what you see?" "Dandruff?" "Yes, it's his DNA." "From this, we'll extract the source of Metro Man's awesome power." "Boss, I think this is a bad idea." "Yes, It's a very wickedly bad idea." "For the greater good of man." "But I'm saying this is a kind of bad, bad." "Okay,you might think it's good from your bad perception." "From a good perception, it is just plain bad." "Oh, you don't know what's good for bad." "Now we have just one shot at this." "I must find a suitable subject." "Someone who will do harm to mine." "Who puts the welfare of others above their own." "(Happy tune playing in background) What on earth is that?" "Seems to be emanating from there, sir." "O-llo," "Uh, it's hello." "Hello, like that." "Bernard, it's Roxanne." "It's Roxanne." "I just want to thank you for inspiring me the other day." "Oh, You've inspired me too." "Great!" "It's time we stood up to Megamind and show him he can't push us around." "Oh, oh really." "She's so cute." "I'm already hot on his trail." "Uh, huh." "And what gives you that idea?" "Uh, sir." "I just found his secret hideout." "How did she find my hideout?" "Uh, how did you find his hideout?" "This is the only building in Metro City with a big observatory on the roof." "Okay, there's no way she'll find the secret entrance." "Oh!" "There's a doormat here that say's 'Secret Entrance'." "Minion!" "I kept forgetting where it was." "She'll discover all our secrets." "You dim-witted creation of science." "What?" "Oh, not you Roxanne." "No, I was just yelling at my mothers, urn." "Don't do anything, I'll be right there." "Roxanne?" "Oh no, not again." "Roxanne." "Whoa!" "Oh, I'm glad you're here." "How did you get here so fast?" "Well, I uh." "I happened to be speed walking nearby when you called." "In a suit?" "Uh huh." "It's called, 'Formal Speed walking'." "But that's not important." "I better take the lead." "This way looks exciting." "No, it says, exit." "Uh, which is the abbreviation for 'Exciting', right?" "It's the mother load." "Ahh." "Wow." "Wow." "Just look at this thing." "You know, I really could use your help in deciphering all this." "Really?" "You're an expert in all things Megamind, right?" "Yes, right." "Together we could figure out his plan for the city and stop it." "Are you in?" "Oh, what fun!" "That's what I want to hear." "Minion, Code-Send out the brain pods." "You know the whole point of a code is..." "Oh code-just do it, Minion." "Ahh, it's me you fools!" "Bernard!" "It's daddy." "Megamind!" "What have you done with, Bernard?" "Bernard?" "Oh yes, I mean poor defenseless," "I don't want to get into it but, Lasers, spikes." "(Bernard's voice) Oh, please no, not the lasers and the spikes!" "You know the drill." "(Bernard's voice) Oh no, not the drill." "Let him go." "Or what?" "Or I'm going to find out what this weird looking gun does." "No don't!" "Don't shoot that gun." "I'll just go get him." "Unhand me you fiend!" "It, it's strength's to much." "Oh, I work out." "Argh, it's really paying off." "You're so fit, and strangely charismatic." "Are you okay?" "I've did my best." "But he's to fantastic." "Here, let me carry that heavy gun for you." "I got this covered." "Let go, it's mine!" "Bernard, help!" "Give it to me." "Oh no!" "Roxanne." "Ow!" "Who on earth is that?" "Roxanne!" "Bernard, you were right about that door being exciting." "This way." "Huh!" "What are you doing?" "Just uh, here!" "Seems a bit extreme, doesn't it." "Just throw it." "Daddy's, suffering." "Wow, that was real exciting." "Yeah." "You were very strong in there." "I know." "I've never seen anyone but Metro Man stand up to him like that." "What's going on?" "Hal, what happened?" "I think a bee flew up my nose." "I was just about to make my frontal assault to rescue you, when like fifty ninjas tried to attack me." "So I had to beat them all up, and I did..." "and they were all like crying, so." "Wow." "Brave one, isn't he." "Who are you?" "Oh thi..., this is Bernard." "He's my partner." "Partner?" "Yes, yes partner." "Well look partner, I'm her partner." "She doesn't know what she's saying." "She's been through a traumatic experience." "I'd better take him home." "Thanks again, Bernard." "I'll call you tomorrow, partner." "Yeah, okay." "I'd like that." "That was weird for everybody. 'Cause you accidentally, okay lets end this meeting." "Sir!" "Code-Did you find out who it was?" "Huh?" "Oh, oh." "Code-get the car." "Code-right away, sir." "Buh bye." "See you tomorrow, Hal." "I'll leave the door unlocked in case you want to check on me later." "Who is this man, fused with godlike power?" "Well sir, his name's Hal Stewart." "He's twenty eight years old." "No criminal record." "Actually, no records at all." "Apparently, this man hasn't accomplished anything." "Not yet, Minion." "Not Yet." "Could this day get anymore, funtastic?" "So I will just go ahead and defuse him, since this is clearly a mistake." "No mistake, Minion." "Something much more powerful is at work." "This is no mistake." "It's destiny." "Hal Stewart, prepare for your destiny." "Hal?" "Hal Stewart?" "Am I saying it right?" "Stewart." "Is this a robbery?" "'Cause the lady across the hall has way better stuff than me." "Oh, look." "It's Hal Stewart." "Quick, the spray." "All out." "Well use the forget me stick." "Oh, right!" "Just look at him." "Well, he doesn't look quite the hero type to me." "Oh, you're such a pill, Minion." "I smell hero." "I smell something burning." "I think it's working!" "Places, places..." "You have your disguise?" "What?" "Ah, you look fantastic." "Rise, my glorious creation." "Rise, and come to Papa." "What's going on?" "Easy my child." "Who are you?" "I sent you to this planet to teach you about justice." "Honor, and nobility." "I am your father." "So you're like, my space Dad?" "Yeah, I'm like your space Dad." "And you are, what?" "I'm your space, Step-Mom." "I, I had some work done recently." "Is this some kind of dream?" "This is a dream come true." "You've been blessed with unfathomamble power." "What kind of power?" "Unfathamomble." "It's un, without Fathom." "Whoa" "Yeah, we've come to guide you." "On your path to be Montrosity's new hero." "And battle the super genius, of Megamind." "I know this is a lot to take in." "It may take months for you to come to grips with.." "No frickin' way." "Wahoo!" "Look at the big hero." "I'm a big hero." "See Minion, he's perfect." "Aaannd, action!" "Someone help me." "I'm okay." "Zap, zap, zap." "The flames of my evil burn bright." "Now you say something cool back at him." "Look, it doesn't even hurt." "Don't even feel it." "No, no, no." "Shut it down, and stop." "I said slow down." "He's hopeless." "HOPELESS!" "Maybe we should change tactics?" "You think so?" "Oh, you know how boys are." "They want video games." "I can throw a few parts together." "Can't...wait." "LoL, smiley face." "Can't wait for what, sir?" "Oh, that was such a funny story." "And brilliantly told, by the way." "Okay, now you tell one." "Bernard, I never knew you were so funny." "And, I never heard you laugh before." "Yeah, it's been a while." "Feels pretty good." "And, exit." "You don't get out much, do you?" "Fun!" "I used to come here with my mother when I was a kid." "It was one of my favorite things to do." "Now look at it." "It's a dump." "Why are we cleaning up the City, sir?" "Um, well we don't want to battle our new hero in a dump, now...do we?" "They're all back." "But how, why?" "Maybe Megamind isn't so bad after all." "That's it." "Be free, my beautiful dove." "Okay, okay, Metro Man and I, were never a couple." "But I thought you two were..." "I know, everybody did." "It's just, well he was never really my type." "Really?" "Okay, now you tell me something." "Something you've never told anyone." "Well, in shh-school." "None of the other kids really liked me." "I was always last one picked for everything." "Hmm, it's to bad that we didn't go to the same school." "Hal, I think you're ready for this." "Do I have a son?" "No, Hal, you make me laugh." "It stretches, it's for you." "Hey, what's the 'T' stand for?" "Titan." "Tighten?" "What's that suppose to mean?" "It was the only name I could trademark." "Oh." "Do you have someone special in your life, Hal?" "No not yet, but." "There's this really, really good looking one I've got my eye on, currently." "That's very good." "Romance is very inspiring." "That's what I hear." "All you have to do, is save her." "And she'll be yours." "Who want's Churro's?" "I do!" "Thanks spaced out, momma." "On the count of three, unsheathe your Churro." "One, two, three!" "To Titan." "Tomorrow, you will fight Megamind." "And the City will know your name." "The City's parks' restored to their original glory." "The street's are the safest they've been." "The banks reopened." "Has something happened to Megamind?" "Has someone tamed this monster?" "This is Roxanne Ritchi cautiously optimistic, but pleasantly confused." "Well you seem to be in a very good mood tonight, sir." "Huh, how long is this going to take me?" "Just a few alterations, sir." "And I'll be done with your most terrifying cape yet." "I'm calling it, Mambaaaaaaa...aaaa...aaa." "Black Mamba, perfect." "Ooo, gosh I am running late." "I have to go." "What, where, where are you going, sir?" "We have our date to battle Titan in the morning." "We haven't even tested your big battle suit yet." "You attend to the details, Minion." "I have to, run a quick errand." "You don't run errands." "What's going on here?" "What?" "Oh, wait a minute." "Are you wearing Jean-Paul Gaultier's, Fleur Du?" "It's just my natural musk." "Now, where are the car keys?" "Ahhh." "This is about Ms. Ritchi, isn't it." "Your going on a date with her." "No my main man, get out of town." "Oh this is bad, this is bad." "You've fallen in love with her." "You are forgetting your place, Minion." "Now give me the keys." "What happens when Roxanne finds out who you really are?" "She will never find out." "That's the point of lying." "Ahhh!" "Honestly, If I didn't know any better I'd think this is your first day at being evil." "NO!" "This has gone far enough." "Oh, that was really grown up." "Sir please, it's for your own good." "Well what do you know." "I may not know much, but I do know this." "The bad guy doesn't get the girl." "Maybe I don't want to be the bad guy anymore." "(Screams like a girl)" "You heard me." "Who are you?" "Now give me the keys." "NO!" "My soul purpose in life is to look after you." "Well I don't need you to look after me." "What are you...what are you saying?" "You don't need me?" "Let me make it clear." "Code-I don't need you." "You know what, you know what." "Code-I'll just pack my things and go." "Code-Fine!" "Code-Fine back." "Well good luck on your date." "I will." "That doesn't even make any sense." "I know." "I know I am so close, I can feel it." "Okay, okay I just have to take a step back." "Wait a minute." "Titan." "What's a Titan?" "My super ears are burning." "I usually just hear criminals." "You haven't been naughty, have you?" "I'm totally messing with you." "I'm totally messing with you." "The names Titan." "Titan?" "Your very own heroic guardian of pure awesome." "What's your name?" "Just kidding, I know everything about you." "Oh, oh!" "And I brought some flowers," "Didn't know what you liked, so I just grabbed you know, all of them." "Okay, you don't like flowers." "Okay, uh, uh, forget the flowers." "What do you want?" "Thought maybe we could go for a little flight around town." "Get to know each other first." "WHOA!" "It's suppose to be very thrilling for you." "Just what do you think you're doing?" "Oh are we moving to fast?" "You're probably right." "I should just rescue you a few times before we get all romantic." "Whoops!" "Saved that, You are lucky to have such a great hero here." "Somebody do something?" "No wait, Duh!" "I gotcha." "That was fun, you almost died." "But I saved you." "Ahhh, building!" "AHHHH!" "Gotcha!" "Whoo, I'm sorry." "What were you saying?" "I couldn't hear you cause of the sound of me saving your life." "Put me down, right now!" "Okay, all right, all right, hold on." "Are you crazy?" "I suppose I'm, a little crazy..." "about you." "Who are you?" "Really." "Oooh, oooh, right." "Well prepare to have your mind blown, little lady." "Tada!" "Hal?" "Yeah, isn't this great?" "Now there's nothing keeping us apart." "No, it's not great." "Aww, our first fight." "This is so us, we're like an old married couple." "There is no us, okay." "There will never be an us." "But, I have powers." "I have a cape, I'm the good guy." "You are a good guy, Hal." "But you don't understand we need to find out why..." "Right now, this isn't right." "You're suppose to be with me." "I'm trying to warn you, Hal." "It's Tighten." "It's TIGHTEN, not Hal." "Hey." "Roxanne." "Sorry I'm late." "Wow, your hair looks exciting." "Hmm, not the only exciting development of the night." "Megamind's created a new hero." "And I know why." "It all makes sense now." "He missed getting his butt kicked, so he created a new hero to kick it for him." "But why, Hal?" "Hal is the worst possible person you could pick." "Wow, that's a lot to take in." "It, it boggles my mind." "I am extremely boggled." "You know, I'm sure we'll get to the bottom of who's kicking who's butt." "But in the mean time." "Let's enjoy each other's company." "I'm sorry, Bernard." "Of course, your right, you know, I could use a breather." "To, Bernard." "For being the only normal thing in my crazy upside down world." "To...being normal." "Roxanne." "Yeah?" "Say I wasn't so normal." "Say I was bald and had the complexion of a popular primary color." "As a random, not a specific example." "Would you still enjoy my company?" "Well of course you don't judge a book by it's cover." "Or a person from the outside." "Oh, that's a relief to hear." "You judge them based on their actions." "Well that seems kinda petty, don't you think." "(Gasps in shock)" "(Cries in shock)" "You." "What, what?" "Oh, don't look at me!" "Just, just a technical glitch." "Don't look yet." "My bad." "Where were we?" "Now, now, hold on." "YOU!" "I can explain." "(Growls in anger)" "What about everything you just said?" "About judging a book by it's cover." "Well let's take a look at the contents then, shall we?" "You destroyed Metro Man." "You took over the city and then you actually got me to care about you." "Why are you so evil?" "Tricking me?" "What could you possibly hope to gain?" "Wait a minute." "Oh, I don't believe this." "Do you really think that I would ever be with you?" "Okay Minion, you were right." "I was...." "less right." "We should stick to what we're good at." "Being bad." "Minion..." "You there." "Yeah, you." "Bring out, the black mamba!" "Okay, Titan it's time to go down, in style." "I hear there's a new hero." "who dares to challenge my evil." "Where is the one they call, Titan?" "Challenge me, if you dare." "(Minnie Ripperton's 'Loving you' playing)" "(Making car motor sounds)" "Oh no, we're gonna crash." "This is embarrassing." "Ballsy and incipient." "Boneheaded, irresponsible." "RUDE!" "Unprofessional, that's what this is." "Would Metro Man have kept me waiting?" "Of course not, he was a pro." "Hey, Megamind." "You're actually the guy I want to see." "Also, there's a door here." "Do you have any idea how long I waited for you?" "No, no, no, I totally understand what you're saying." "Could you just shut up for a second, I'm trying to beat this score." "Were you even planning on showing up?" "What's this?" "Where did you get all this stuff?" "It doesn't belong to me." "You stole it!" "Pretty cool, right." "Oh no, no, no." "You're a hero." "Being a hero is for losers." "It's work, work, work twenty four seven, and for what?" "I only took the gig to get the girl." "And it turns out Roxanne doesn't want anything to do with me." "Roxanne Ritchi?" "Yeah, Roxanne Ritchi." "I saw her having dinner, and making googly eyes at some intellectual dweeb." "Ohhhh" "Who needs all that noise." "That's why I think, we should team up." "You?" "Wait!" "What?" "With my power, and your big headedness, we could rule the city." "You want to team up?" "I even drew up some new costume designs." "See" "Costume design?" "You have a brain so you get a little brain wearing glasses on your costume, or something." "And since I'm the cool one, I'll have like two tanks sword fighting." "I can't believe you." "All your gifts all your powers, and you squander them for your own personal gain." "Yes!" "NO!" "I 'm the villain, you're the good guy." "I do something bad, and you come and get me." "That's why I created you." "Yeah, right." "You're nuts." "Space Dad told me." "Look, I'm your Space Dad." "You should be more like Metro Man." "You tricked me?" "Oh, don't like that, huh?" "Well there's more." "I'm also the intellectual dweeb dating Roxanne." "No." "And we were smooching." "Mwah..." "Mwah..." "Mwah." "When I get my hands on you I'm gonna, gonna..." "YES!" "Yes I know." "Break me in two." "Oh god, how I missed this." "And the hero strikes the first blow." "But evil returns with a backhand." "YES!" "Ahh...shhhh." "Come out you little freak!" "I want to see what that big brain looks like on the pavement." "You fell for the oldest evil trick in the book." "You little blue, twerp." "En Garde!" "Oh, now that's the spirit." "Take, that, and again!" "Now it's time for witty back and forth banter." "You go first." "Look I'm not sure where you're going at." "This one is for pursuing my girlfriend." "This one's for space Dad making a fool out of me." "And Megamind!" "This is for Space, Step-Mom." "You lied to her!" "Oh, well now, I thought that pummeling went really, really well." "I mean, I have a few notes." "Notes?" "But they can wait." "You can take me to jail now." "Oh, no, no, no." "I was thinking more like the morgue." "You're dead!" "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." "This isn't how you play the game." "Game over." "Brain bots." "I'm calling time out." "Time out, time out!" "Brain bots." "Initiate the fail safe." "Guess what, Buster Brown?" "It's made from Copper." "You're powerless against it." "It's a very safe metal used to defeat..." "Metro Man?" "You, should stop comparing me to Metro Man." "You can run Megamind, but you can't hide." "We're saved, we're saved!" "What's your name, new hero?" "It's Tighten." "Thank you, thank you." "Tighten has freed us." "Oh I wouldn't say free." "More like, under new management." "(Door bell rung continuously)" "What do you want?" "Titan's turned evil." "Congratulations, another one of your genius plans have backfired on you." "And why did my doorman let you up?" "Carlos?" "What are you, no, no!" "I need your help." "Why do you need MY help?" "(Tiredly sighs) Because you're the smartest person I know." "Well you can't hide here." "Copper should have worked, why didn't the copper work?" "The copper worked perfectly well the last time." "Copper?" "You're not making any sense." "Look, if we don't find Titan's weakness." "He'll destroy the whole city." "Okay, how can I help?" "We need to find answers." "You knew Metro Man best." "Did he have a hideout, a cave, a solitary fortress of some kind?" "Anything that would give us clues." "Well, there is one place I know." "You gave him these powers, can't you just take them away?" "I can't, I lost my diffuser gun when I misplaced the invisible car." "The night you dumped me." "Alone." "In the rain." "Did you ever look back?" "NO!" "Oh, my giant blue head." "I guess we're here." "So, this is where he hid it." "After all these years." "My old shhool house." "You know, I think there's an apology in order, for the other night." "Okay that would be nice." "But make it quick." "We have much more pressing matters to deal with." "Wow, can't believe he kept all this stuff." "Aww, I remember when he wore that." "Can you just stay focused here?" "Yes of course, you're right, focused." "HEY!" "Come over and look at this." "What is it?" "What did you find?" "Um....." "look!" "This glass has ice cubes in it." "Yes, that's what happens when water gets cold." "No, what I'm saying is, don't you think it's a little odd that the ice hasn't melted yet?" "One of life's great mysteries." "Hey." "(Both scream) AHHHHHHHHHHH!" "We now offer a confirmed report." "Tighten, first thought to be the City's new hero, has turned evil." "The city has never seen this level of destruction." "If only Metro Man were still alive." "You're alive?" "You're alive." "I'm alive." "But..we..we saw your skeleton." "You were dead." "Are you a ghost?" "There had better be, an amazing explanation for this." "Speak, apparition." "Okay, okay, okay, okay." "You both deserve the truth." "It all started back at the observatory." "Roxanne was kidnapped, I was gonna stop you." "My head wasn't in the game that day." "We where kind of going through the motion" "So..." "Using my super speed." "I decided to go clear my head." "Then I realized we had done this same silly charade our entire lives." "I tried to get my mind off how I was feeling." "But I just felt stuck." "I began to realize, despite all my powers, each and every citizen of Metro had something I didn't." "A choice." "Ever since I can remember I've always had to be what the City wanted me to be." "But what about what I wanted to do?" "Then it suddenly hit me." "I do have a choice." "I can be whatever I want to be." "No one said this hero thing had to be a life time gig." "You can't just quit either." "That's when I got the brilliant idea to fake my death." "Copper drains my powers!" "You're weakness is copper?" "Once your death ray hit." "I never felt so alive." "So I borrowed a prop from a nearby nursing school." "Metro Man was finally dead." "And Music Man was born." "Music man?" "That way I can keep my logo." "'Cause of what?" "Finally I'm free, to get in touch with my true power." "Weaving lyrical magic." "Check this out." "I have eyes that can see right through leaaadd." "You're horrible!" "Granted you have talent," "But there's a mad man out there destroying our...your city." "Why did you do this?" "The people of the city relied on you, and you deserted them." "You left us in the hands of, him!" "No offense." "No, I'm with you." "Look, we need your help." "I'm sorry, I really am." "Um, I'm, I'm done." "You know, little buddy." "There's a Ying for every Yang." "If there's bad, good will rise up against it." "It's taken me a long time to find my calling." "Now it's about time, you find yours." "Hey, who needs him." "We can beat Tighten ourselves." "I say we go back to the evil lair." "Grab some ray guns, hold them sideways, and just go all gangsta on 'em." "We can't" "So that's it?" "You're just giving up?" "I'm the bad guy." "I don't save the day." "I don't fly off into the sunset, and I don't get the girl." "I'm going home." "Unless someone comes to our aid soon, all may be lost." "Thousands have already fled the city in a mass exodus." "Remaining citizens are warned, to stay indoors until further notice." "Authorities have issued a warning, to stay out of the downtown area at all costs." "Hal!" "Hal!" "Let me guess, after seeing how awesome I am, you've finally come to your senses." "Well, I'm over you." "I've come to stop you, Hal." "You?" "Oh, well." "Okay, what are you going to do, report me to death?" "I was going to try reasoning with you." "You and I, we worked together for a long time." "I know you." "You don't know me." "You never took the time to know me." "This is the first time we've hung out socially." "And it's when I'm about to destroy the city." "I want to talk to the real Hal." "I want to talk to the guy who loved being a camera man, and eating dip," "And being a nerd and being not as scary as the Tighten-Hal." "To late!" "(Flipping through the channels)" "Megamind." "You and I have some unfinished business." "I'll be waiting at Metro Tower, oh, and just so you don't get cold feet." "Roxanne!" "Come on Roxi, call for your hero to come rescue you." "Megamind." "I don't even know if you're listening, but if you are..." "You can't give up." "The Megamind I knew would never have run from a fight." "Even when he knew he had absolutely no chance of winning." "It was your best quality." "You need to be that guy, right now." "The city needs you." "I need you." "Roxanne." "You have one hour." "Don't...keep me waiting." "Warden, Warden!" "Listen to me, you have to let me go." "Tighten has to be stopped." "Sorry Megamind, you still have 88 life sentences to go." "Plenty of time to reflect on what you've done." "If you want to hear me say it?" "I'll say it." "Here it is." "Black is part of my heart." "I...." "AM...." "Sorry!" "Not buying it." "I don't blame you." "I've terrorized the city countless times." "Created a hero who turned out to be a villain." "I lied to Roxanne, and..." "My best friend, Minion." "I treated like dirt." "Please, don't make this city," "Don't make Roxanne pay for my wrong doings." "Apology accepted." "Uh, Minion." "You fantastic fish, you." "What are we waiting for?" "We'd better get going." "Got me!" "Good luck, fellows." "We're gonna die!" "Wait, what?" "Hey, Metro losers." "This is Metro Tower." "They say it's suppose to be a symbol of our cities strength." "But, for me, it's a reminder of the day this woman ferociously ripped out my heart." "And I hate reminders." "HAL!" "Please don't do this." "I know there's still good in you, Hal." "So naive, Roxie." "You see the good in everybody, even when it's not there." "You're weaving a fantasy." "There is no Easter bunny." "There is no tooth fairy." "And there is no Queen of England." "This is the real world." "And you need to wake up." "You dare to challenge Megamind?" "This town isn't big enough for two super villains." "Oh, you're a villain all right." "Just not the super one." "Yeah, what's the difference?" "PRESENTATION!" "I knew you'd come back." "Well, that makes one of us." "What's the plan?" "Well, mostly involves, not dying." "I, like that plan." "Go faster!" "Make this thing go faster!" "I can't control it" "No!" "Well, that was easy." "Looks like there's only one loose end now." "Please, let's have a little respect for public transportation." "You came back." "You were right, Roxanne." "I never should have left." "Whoa, I..." "I thought you were dead." "My death was, greatly exaggerated." "So, you're the punk I've heard about." "I'm sorry, I did the best I could." "I'm so proud of you." "Minion?" "Surprise!" "Heh, heh, heh." "He's the real hero." "Megamind." "Going somewhere?" "Besides jail." "No, not in the face there, please." "If you know what's good for you Tighten." "You'll stay out of Montrosity." "You got it!" "Good!" "Pretty sneaky, sis." "But there is only one person I know who calls this town, Montrosity." "Ooops." "You!" "Bet you think it's really funny, huh?" "Let's all laugh at the really cool guy, huh." "You're not going to be wiping the walls." "The invisi-car." "Megamind, hey, remember the night I dumped you?" "You are bringing this up now?" "I did look back." "You did?" "YOU DID!" "Yes, and you should look back, right now." "Oh, I get it." "This is the last time you'll make a fool out of me." "I made you a hero." "You did the fool thing, all by yourself." "You're so pathetic." "No matter what side you're on." "You're always the looser." "There's a benefit to loosing." "You get to learn from your mistakes." "What?" "Oh, you've got to be kidding me!" "Minion, if I live, I will kill you." "Enjoy your flight." "Megamind." "So, this is how it ends." "Normally I'd chalk this up to my last glorious failure." "But not today!" "What can I say?" "Old habits die hard." "Say bye, bye Roxie." "Ollo." "Thing about bad guys, they always LOOSE!" "Ohhhh." "You did it, you won." "Well, I finally had a reason to win." "You." "(Minion coughing)" "MINION!" "Can't see it's cold and..." "warm, and dark and light." "It's me, Minion." "I'm right here." "We've had a lot of adventures together." "You and I." "We have, Minion." "(Coughs, groan's in pain) I mean... most of them ended in horrible failure, but," "We won today." "Didn't we, sir?" "Yes Minion, we did it." "Thanks to you." "Code-We're the good guys now." "Code-I guess we are." "Oh, oh." "I'm going..." "I mean this is..." "This is it, I mean I'm going far awa..." "(Gasps)" "Oh, what a drama queen." "You know, I'm feeling much better now." "I guess I just needed a swim" "He had you, didn't he." "Whew!" "Classic, Minion." "Don't give them the face." "There he is with that little face." "Look at that face." "We did it!" "We did it!" "Fist pump!" "You did it!" "We won, we won, we won." "What!" "Get back you savages!" "Sorry, sorry." "He's just not used to positive feedback." "(Michael Jackson's 'Bad' playing)" "Funny, I guess destiny is not the path given to us." "But the path we choose for ourselves." "All right, put your hands in the air." "Now hand over your wallets." "I'm just kidding." "Just kidding." "I have to admit." "Being good, has its perks." "You know, you look pretty good in white." "Megamind, if you please." "Uh, hey, my kid can't see." "Sorry my friend." "Way to go, little buddy." "I knew you had it in you." "Ladies and gentlemen..." "MEGAMIND!" "Defender of Metro City." "You know, I like the sound of that." "Hit it!" "I'm Bad, I'm Bad- Come On" "You Know I'm Bad, I'm Bad- You Know It" "You Know I'm Bad, I'm Bad- You Know It" "You know, and The Whole World Has To Answer Right Now, whose bad." "You Know I'm Bad, I'm Bad- come on." "You Know I'm Bad, I'm Bad- you know it." "You know it, You Know, You Know," "And The Whole World Has To Answer Right Now Just To Tell You Once Again ..." "Who's bad!"