"I hate Mondays." "Pooky, cover me." "I'm going in." "Alley-oop." "Sleeping beauty, wake up." "You can stop dreaming about me, because I'm here." "Now just wake up." "You've got work to do." "You're not just my owner, you're my primary caregiver, now..." "Not now, Garfield." "All right." "Cut the sweet stuff." "Easy now." "Just..." "Trying to cuddle with me, huh?" "Trying to avoid your duties, huh?" "Well, that just ain't gonna fly." "It don't work." "See, I'm getting my exercise." "Doing my job." "Just one quick cannonball." " Morning." " Garfield." "OK." "I think you're clean enough now." " Got your towel here." " Garfield." "It's liver-flavored." "Delicious." " Liver." " Well." "Actually, it's liver-flavored." "That was a good breakfast." "Now I think I'll just fall off the Catkins diet and get myself a little high-fat chaser." "Garfield, look, the milk truck." "Attaboy, Nermal." "The milk truck comes every day." "Maybe not today." "Maybe it's changing routes." "Maybe this'll be the last we'll see of it." "Maybe not today." "Maybe it's changing routes." "Maybe this'll be the last we'll see of it." "It's just across the street." "We're cats, we like milk." "Go for it." " No." " But..." ""But" nothing." "I don't leave the cul-de-sac for anything." "Out there it's a hornet's nest of trouble." "Bad things happen out there, so I don't go out there." "Besides, I've found, if you wait for long enough, everything comes to you." "Here come da milkman Here come da milkman" "He got his shoes on..." " Hey, Nermal, let's play astronaut again." " Yeah?" " I love that game." "You're a brave astronaut." " All right." " Prepare to jump into your spaceship." " But what about the milk?" "Who needs milk when you can be in outer space?" " You got a secret mission." " Yeah?" "You'll be exploring the Milky Way." "I get the chills when you jump in your spacecraft." " The nation thanks you." "Prepare to blast off." " I'm ready to go." "Three, two, one." " Bon voyage." " Look at me go." " Don't look down." " I'm an eagle flying." " Come to papa, baby." " I can see everything from here." "I can see my house." " Got milk?" " I can see the whole neighborhood." " That's nice." "That's very nice." " There's another milk truck." " And that is even nicer." " I can see..." "Mission accomplished, Nermal." "Garfield, do it again." "Where did everybody go?" "You're on the wrong side of the street, fat cat." "Beat it." "And you, Luca, the wrong side of the evolutionary curve." "OK, that's it." "You're gonna get it good today." "I make a point to get it good every day." "The question is, how shall I outwit you?" " What?" " Shall I baffle you with simple math?" " I can spell." " Shall I distract you with something shiny?" " You're making fun of me." " I hope so, you're no fun to look at." "You'll never get the best of me." " I think I just did." " Not the ducks again." "Kiss myself." "If I ever get off this chain, you're going down." "Everybody back up, I don't know how wild this thing is gonna get." "I love the smell of cinnamon apple in the morning." "Smells like victory." "I hate this fat cat." "So much time and so little I need to do." " Mouse." " No, thanks." "I'm full." " Get him, Garfield." " Get him, Jon." "It's always got to be smashing and crashing." "Nobody poisons any more." "There's my ball." "What good is a cat that can't chase a mouse?" "I don't do the chase thing." "All right." "I'll handle this." "I know you don't hear me, but can't you just listen?" " What are you doing inside when Jon's in?" " Sorry, Garfield, man." "I couldn't help it." "When he sees you, he expects more from me." "Get that?" "Jon's got those nut cookies." "I'm trying to maintain." "Understand?" "Sure." "As long as you understand I have to eat you." "Good boy." "See?" "I knew you could do it if you put your mind to it." "You're the best cat a guy could have." "Have you tasted yourself lately?" "It wasn't the first-class lounge in there either." "Get lost, Louis." "Take a powder for a couple of days." "Get a haircut." "Grow a beard." "Cool." "I owe you one, G." "I've got a question for you." "Do you love your cat?" "Finally." "Back on my regular schedule." "..Kibbly Kat food." "Isn't that right, Persnikitty?" "That cat's puss is everywhere." "TV, newspapers, T-shirts." "Who would want that kind of exposure?" " Hey, buddy." " Yeah, cut the small talk." "What's in the bag?" " Remember, be happy." " I'm happy when I'm with you, you delicate melange of tomato paste, ricotta cheese, ground meat and pasta." "Garfield, don't even think about it." "That's my food." " I may just nibble." " Thanks, Happy." " I may just nibble." " Thanks, Happy." "And thank you forjoining us." "I'm Christopher Mello." "Remember..." "Be happy." " OK, cut." " We're clear." "Gimme the Benadryl." "Gimme the Benadryl." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Damned cat allergies." "Any word from the network yet?" "No, but they want a dog act on Good Day New York." "Dog act?" "Story of my life." "Looking for a dog and I'm stuck with a cat." " The segment went well." " The segment went well." "Of course it went well, you toad." "The 50 housewives who saw it loved it." "This is Walter J Chapman, reporting live from The Hague." "Oh, please." "What a know-it-all." "And everybody always said I was the handsome one." "I was the smart one." "And I was born first." "But there you are "live from The Hague"" "and here I am working with this sack of dander on a dead-end regional morning show." "Back to you, Dan." "Garfield." "Did you eat all four boxes of lasagna?" "It's not my fault." "They started it." " What am I gonna do with you?" " Love me, feed me, never leave me." "Let's go for a ride to someplace you love, that always leaves you pampered and refreshed." "I know, Chuck E Cheese's." "Thank you." "No?" "Wendy's?" "Taco Kitty?" "No?" "Well, I'm stumped." "Maybe Olive Garden." "For you?" "The only time I ever leave my cul-de-sac is when Jon takes me to the vet." "Which he's been doing a lot recently, and it appears to have nothing to do with me." "Jon must want to go for his own reason." "There's nothing wrong with Garfield." "He's just a happy, fat, lazy cat." " No need for a second opinion." " I worry about him." "I know you do." "You care about him more than any owner I've known." ""Him" has a name." "Is this an HMO?" "Let's get Garfield in for his dip." "I wanna talk to you." "In private." "She's so beautiful." "Mr Pathetic?" "You've had a crush on her since school." "Would you please ask her out so she can reject you and we can get on with my life?" "I have to ask her out." "Wish me luck." "OK." "Go get 'em, big tiger." "You the man." "You the fella." "You the boss." "You preach to her." "Show her how the cow eats the cabbage, you hopeless loser." "Betty, today why don't you start me off with a Swedish massage, a manicure and a pedicure, OK?" "Seaweed wrap, loofah, belly rub, tail waxing and then crack my toes to finish." "Jon, there's something important I need to ask you." "Something I wouldn't ask most guys that come in." "Wait, no." "I think I know where this is going." " You do?" " I do." "Liz, I've wanted to ask you the same thing for a long time." " Are we talking about the same thing?" " Absolutely." "I've never been more sure of anything in my life." "Liz, I'm ready to take a chance." "I am ready for..." " Thank you." " A dog." "I'm ready for a dog." " I think he likes you." " Hi." "Yeah." "Hi." "He's a frisky little fella, isn't he?" "His name's Odie and he's not gonna make it if he has to live his life in a cage." "He needs to be loved." "Thank you very much." "No, maybe not in my neighborhood." "Hey, Boomer, I really got to run." "Gotta fly, everybody." "Really." "Stay behind the security fence." "It's great of you to come see me, but I've got somebody waiting, very devoted, almost crippled." "No, please, don't cry." "I know what it's like to be unloved." "Well, you do." "I'll come back and visit and if I don't, I'll try to write." " Does anybody know this guy?" " Bye-bye." "Garfield is leaving the building." "Jon, you know you don't have to do this if you don't want to." "No." "No, it's OK." "Part of me's always wondered what it'd be like to have a pet that wants to play with you." " You're a good friend." " One question." "Am I still gorgeous?" "Jon." "I think we've got a little problem here." "Jon?" "And I can help the transition go smoothly." "It's in my seat." "We could all go out together." "Park, dog shows, stuff like that." "Jonny boy?" "Wait a minute, are you asking me out?" "Jonny boy, the time has come to get a car alarm." "You won't believe it." "A mongrel mutt has broken into your car." "Garfield, this is Odie." "He's coming home with us." "You went in there to get a date and came out with a dog?" "Well, that's bad even for you." "You're so sad." "No, no, no." "We're not bringing a dog home with us." "I ride shotgun." "What are you looking at, tick boy?" "Jon, it's not too late." "Quickly." "Turn around before he finds out where we live." "Please take this trouser-sniffer back." " Please?" " Come on, Odie." "Let's go." "It's your new home." " Come on, buddy." " Jon..." "You had me, a chick magnet, and now you got a tick magnet." " Garfield." "Jon brought a dog home." " I am aware, Nermal." " Why would he do a thing like that?" " Gee, I don't know, Nermal." "It just seems like a weird thing to do, bringing a dog into a house that already has a cat." "Can we drop it?" "I mean, it's no big deal." "It's just a splattered bug on the windshield of my life." "A bug?" "A dim-witted, smelly, goofy splattered bug, to deal with appropriately and enthusiastically." " Come on." " As you can see, I'm still Jon's favorite." "See you later." "Good luck with the bug thing." "Come on." "This is payback for the liver thing, isn't it?" "Payback." "He's a nut." "This is your new home, Odie." "That's my office over there." "And the TV over there." "And now, the kitchen." "Wanna go see it?" "OK." "Go see that." "Go see." "Why don't you draw him a map?" "OK." "I've got to remain calm, that's all." "Jon's a cat guy, not a dog guy." "This'll last a week, maybe ten days, tops." "Boy, this puppy is Stupid Gone Wild." "This is just a bad dream." "I'll close my eyes and when I open them, everything will be back to normal." "That's not normal." "Not close." "Great, dog cooties." "Somebody inoculate me, please." "This is a nightmare." "I just need a little quality time with man's real best friend." "Television." "No, no, no." "New guy." "Let me hip you to the rules, OK?" "Number one, that's my chair." "All right?" "I even see you raise a leg and it's on, it's go time, pal." "Very well." "Yeah, I think I just may have a mental advantage on this guy." "Leave me alone." "I'm not kidding, Yodel Odie." "Pop a worm pill and hit the road." "I'm busy." "You want to play?" "Fine." "You can be my new astronaut." "Go jump in the pail and we'll shoot you into outer space." "C'mon, it's real simple." "Here." "I'll even throw your ball in there." "Follow the ball and jump in the pail." "Come on, Odie." "Just like this." "Come on over here and jump right into the pail and help me." "Come on." "No." "Just in here, like this." "Don't touch that." "No." "No." "Houston, we have a problem." "Odie, get off the pail." "Would you get off the pail, please?" "OK, time for a new game." "It's called "My Claw In Your Butt" game." "C'mere." "Get back here." "Come on." "I'll just use my left claw." "If my legs were longer I'd have caught you by now." "C'mere." "Just wait for one second." "Slow down." "Well, well, well." "I've got you now, fat cat." "Hey, Luca." "Is that a new chain you're wearing, fella?" "Looks good." "You look great." "Been working out?" " I've been waiting years for this." " Would that be regular years or dog years?" "What the?" "Get away from me, pipsqueak." "You're nothing but a..." "Luca, this is Odie." "Odie, Luca." "Luca, do me a favor and eat him, would you, please?" " Are you all right?" " I think so." "Luca's gonna have Odie for lunch." "If it wasn't for Odie, you'd be Luca's chew toy." "Yeah, he saved your life." "Odie's a hero." "Why?" "Because I wasn't ripped to shreds?" "No." "Odie's an imbecile until further notice." "Hey, moon dust." "If I were you I'd grab a nice piece of carpet." "Jon doesn't let me sleep up top." "Ever." "Odie." "You want to sleep in the bed?" "OK." "Wh...?" "Hey, buddy." "Good boy." "Who's a good boy, huh?" "Want to sleep on the bed tonight? "Yes, I do."" " I think I'm going to blow cat chow chunks." " G'night, Odie." "G'night, Garfield." "Great." "Wish me luck with the nightmares." "Another day ruined." "You little suck-up." "Whoa, baby." "No." "Down." "Down, dumb dog." "What part of "no" don't you understand?" "The push off the chair?" "Off." "I don't want to play." "Look." "What am I supposed to say?" ""Thanks for saving my hide with Luca?"" "OK, "Thanks for saving my hide with Luca." Get off." "Where was I?" "Right here." "I was right here." "That was a cheap shot." "Hit a guy when he's not looking?" "OK." "Excuse me." "I think you may have forgotten something." "I saw this and I thought..." "pretty sure it was yours." "I love to dish it out." "Watch out." "You see?" "You can't touch this." "Come on." "That's right." "Don't sneak up on me, baby." "Come on with that." "Get that weak stuff out of here." "Is that butt broken?" "No, it's something like this, here." "Can you do this?" "Shouldn't those hips be in the shop?" "Walk this way, please." "I'm walking the dog." "Walk this way, please." "I'm walking the dog." "Let's step it up a little bit." "Something like this." "Look at this." "Watch out now." "Watch out for this thing." "It could go." "You should've practiced in the garage before you stepped up with someone of my level." "Back up." "Maybe something a little more challenging." "How about this?" "Out the front door." "Look who's here on the porch." "I'm walking the porch, holding a torch, I'm ready to scorch." "That's fancy footwork." "Look, Garfield's dancing with Odie." "They're like buddies now." "What's the matter?" "Oh, my God." "Odie, what are you doing here?" "I was doing a solo dance and a creepy dog comes up next to me." "Did you guys see that?" "Thank you, fellas, thank you." "Here's more trouble." " Look at the goony look on his face." " C'mon, buddy." "Come here." "Taking him back to the vet?" "You're taking him back to the kennel, right?" "Yeah?" "Are you putting him up for adoption?" "Hey, Garfield." "Jon's taking Odie on his date with Liz and he's leaving you behind." " I know, Nermal." " They're off on an adventure and you're here." "And your point is?" "Well, that's gotta feel bad, being left by Jon while he takes Odie out." "It's like you're not his favorite any more." "What do you say we play brain surgeon?" "Would you go get my power tools?" "This is so sad." "Jon has completely lost his mind." "Doesn't realize how important I am to him." "I need to be so very understanding of him at this difficult time." "Wait up." "Wait up for me." "You forgot me." "Slow down." "Please, slow down." "I'm right back here." "I think I pulled a hamstring." "It's OK." "I'm on." "I'm on." "Relax." "My poor nose." "So, if you own Marine, please come and claim her." "Thank you very much." "Yeah, go on ahead." "I'll catch up with you." "It's probably just a mild concussion or a skull fracture." "Maybe I'll get a CAT scan." "A CAT scan." "I'd like to ask the judges now if they would please take their positions for the viewings." "Watch your step there." "Ladies and gentlemen." "Welcome to the dog show." "What if I compromised?" "How about I do the rolling around with the yarn ball thing?" "And I'll purr." "I'll purr like a Ferrari." "Or make that a Jaguar." "I won't climb drapes." "That's more than you get from a some dumb dog." "Oops." "Dogs." "Uh-oh." "What?" "You all going to take it personally?" "Now I'm gonna die." "Oh, no, I really am gonna die." "Excuse me." "Can I get through here?" "No one under this tarp." "That's my ear." "Owners, maintain control of your dogs." "Please." "Control those animals now." "Music." "Music, you idiot." "Yeah, play the music." "That's my bad knee." "Stop it." "All right." "Feet, don't fail me now." "I apologize for this." "Please excuse this outburst." "This is highly irregular." "Odie." "Odie." "Odie, come on." "Come on, buddy." "Odie, want a treat?" "OK." "I need a ride." "Madam, I'm a cat in trouble, I'm hitching a ride in your muu-muu." "Come on." "Let's move." "Go, let's move." "Dig, dig." "Come on, Pinkie." "Move it out." "Sorry." "Sorry." "Move, move, move, Pinkie." "Move, Pinkie, move." "We certainly have a new star in the arena." "Ladies and gentlemen, this is amazing." "Talented little fella, huh?" "Yah, Pinkie, yah." "They're gaining on us, Pinkie." "A cat's life is at stake." "Thanks for the ride." "Excuse me, ma'am." "Please call 911." "This is exactly what I deserve anyway." "I promise if I survive I'll never compete with a dog again." "OK." "You got me." "But before I say goodbye..." "Isn't this the final irony?" "Look who's here to witness this." "The mailman." "You're so stupid." "Odie, come here." "That's a good boy." "Ladies and gentlemen, Happy Chapman." "That is one talented dog." "This is exactly the kind of dog that could have a future in television." "Thank you, Mr Chapman, but Odie's just my pet." "And that's all I really want him to be." "And that's all I really want him to be." " You're kidding?" " No." "OK." "Well, this is for you." "And this is for you." "If you happen to change your mind, you just ring me up." ""Hello?" "Hello?" "I changed my mind."" " "I want to be a star."" " OK." " OK." " OK." "Let's hear it for Odie." "What a sensational ending to a rather unconventional show." "Our winner today, a fabulous dancing puppy called Odie." "Never leave the cul-de-sac." "Never leave the cul-de-sac." "Never leave the cul-de-sac." "Never leave the cul-de..." "I'm home." " I had fun today." "Thank you." " Yeah, me too." " Would you like to come in?" " Not today." " I knew that." "I'm sorry." " I want to come over, just not today." "I have to cover for another vet." " Really?" " How's Sunday?" "Sunday's great." "Sunday's good." "Sunday..." "OK." "So, I'II..." " I'll see you Sunday." " Sunday." "Sunday." "Why?" "Why has this happened?" "I was the one." "It was all about me, not about some stupid, sniveling, smelly, high-maintenance disco dog." "Oh, no." "You can't do this." "He's trying to tear us apart." "Don't you see?" "You know me." "I'm too lazy to try to destroy your house." "I was provoked." "Pushed." "Prodded." "Driven mad." "You can't kick me out of my own house like I'm some kind of animal." "Come on, Jon." "Jon." "You know I'm scared of the dark." "That's a good boy." "Used to have Jon to myself" "Day or night there was no one else" "From dawn to dusk my meals would come" "I'd lounge about in my home" "But now I'm out in the cold of night" "All alone till the dawn's first light" "I'm in a new dog state of mind" "Used to think I had a home" "A special place to call my own" "But now the dog's in and I'm out" "I've got no Jon, I've got no clout" "I'm in a new dog state of mind" "Leave me alone." "You've won." "You're inside with him and I'm out here all by myself." "Odie." "You came out here to be with me?" "I'm touched." "And you must be touched in the head." "Kick out the dog, bring in the cat" "Yakety-yak, don't talk back" "See you in the morning, little fella." "You know, a puppy needs a little tough love every now and then." "I think it builds character." "Hello, Pooky." "Miss me?" "You know what?" "I'm gonna make it up to Odie tomorrow." "I'm gonna teach him how to drink out of the toilet." " Poor Odie." "That cat is such a pig." " Garfield's a pig?" " You never put the dog out at night." " Why not?" "Because dogs run away." "Sure, Jon, I'll eat all your lasagna for you." "Look." "What do we have here?" "You're a lost dog." "Well, we can fix that." "Do I feel good this morning." "I slept like a fat cat." "Hey, tall, dark and human, what's for breakfast?" "Odie." "Where are you, boy?" "Relax." "I think he was gonna camp out." "Odie?" "Well, probably had a sleepover at Luca's, I think." "Odie?" "Odie?" "Well, maybe he's fetching the paper for the neighbors." "Where is that silly dog?" "I can't go on like this any more, Wendell." "I've got to get a dog." "That's a lovely idea." "You've been lonely since the divorce, and I've tried to be a friend..." "Not for me, you imbecile." "For the act." "If I could get my hands on a really talented dog, wouldn't Walter J just choke on his Emmy?" " Like Odie?" " Yeah." "Yeah, now he was good." "Yeah." " He was kinda dopey-Iooking and spry and..." " Lost." "It's Jon." "I was just calling to see if Odie's been over." "I can't find him." "My name is Jon Arbuckle and I can't find my dog." "Looked around and I can't find him..." "I haven't seen him." "If you see him, give me a call." "Hi, it's Jon." "I was calling to see if you'd seen Odie." "I think he's run away." "I gave him a bath and I forgot to put his collar back on." "Well, 'cause Garfield hates his collar." "He's about 15 pounds, brownish-yellow with brown floppy ears..." " Would you mind getting that?" " I'm offering a reward." "Yeah, that's right." "OK, and he answers to the name of..." " Hi." " Hi." "I'd say the refrigerator is unguarded." " What are you doing here?" " We're having dinner, remember?" "Right." "Dinner." "The two of us." "Tonight." "Of course." " Shall I come in?" " Yeah." "Yeah, come on in." "You know, Liz, I have a confession." "It's not really a confession, it's more of an admission." "It's..." "You know what it is, it's like a declaration." " I have a..." " I love it when you do that." " Do what?" " You know." "Trip over yourself." "It's cute." "And it's one of the reasons I had a crush on you in high school." " You had a crush on me?" " Yeah." "I thought you were really cute." "Decent, not like all those otherjerks." "I thought you were really cute." "Decent, not like all those otherjerks." "I don't believe it." "I had a crush on you too." " Isn't that funny?" " Yeah." "Hilarious." "So, what's your confession-admission-declaration?" "Actually..." "I forgot about our dinner." "Yeah." " That's OK." "I can go." " No, no, I'm glad you're here." "Let me just get my jacket and then we'll go." "What am I gonna do?" "What am I gonna do?" "What..." "What am I gonna do?" "I've waited for tonight my entire life." "If you tell her the truth, you'll feel better." "And you won't have to see her any more." "It's kinda creepy having a vet around the house anyway." "I can't pretend like nothing's happened, can I?" "Well, I sure could." "The one thing you can't do is tell her the dog's gone." " I gotta tell her." " No." " Gotta tell her." " No." "That's not what I said." "Schmuck." " Liz, we can't go out tonight." " Why not?" " Odie's run away." " What?" "He got out last night." "I called the pound." "I put up posters." "I looked everywhere, but I can't find him." " Why didn't you just tell me?" " I guess I figured he was the only reason you were spending time with me." " Come on." " No, serious." "I..." "No." "I mean, "Come on, let's go find him."" "How can this dog be such a problem when he's not even here any more?" "Well, I'm not gonna worry about him." "I believe you found my dog." " He answers to "Odie."" " Odie?" "Family name." "Odie." "Come on." "There you are." "Yeah." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." "I can live again now." " How can I ever repay you?" " An autograph would be splendid." "Then splendid it shall be." "No." "This is ridiculous." " What are you looking at?" " Just looking for some company." " Keep walking, creepo." " What's going on?" "We know how much you hated Odie and how much you wanted him gone." "Wait." "All I wanted was to sleep in my own bed." "To do it you cast Odie out into the cold, cruel world." "We saw you lock Odie outside last night." "I don't believe you guys." "I didn't know he was gonna run away." "He's a dumb dog." " No offence, Luca." " What?" " You can't blame me." " Any one of us could be next." "Yeah." "There's no room for anybody else in Garfield's world." "Huh?" "That's a little dramatic." "Well, I may have been a little tough about protecting my turf, but I don't hate the guy." "I understand Happy has a big surprise for us." "What have you got for us, Hap?" "Guten Morgen, Chris." "Yeah, yeah,ja." "I have been working with a special new friend, and I would like to introduce him to all of you." "Odie Schnitzel." "Looky here." "It's Odie." "He's safe and sound." "Although he seems to have found an alternative lifestyle." "He still can't dance." "This gets me off the hook with Jon and the gang." "Now, I'm gonna be the hero." "That's one talented dog." "I'm glad you think so, Chris, because I have a little announcement." "Old Happy Chapman and Odie Schnitzel are gonna be climbing aboard that New Amsterdam Limited bound to New York City, where we have the opportunity to be regular contributors on Good Day New York." "That's his last name, "Schnitzel?"" "Thank you for your help yesterday." "You were great." "Jon, Odie's on TV, and he's wearing lederhosen." "I'm sorry." "Garfield, not now." "I upped the reward to $200 and I'm gonna put up some more posters to..." "He's clog dancing, I think, wearing lederhosen." " I'm sorry." "Garfield, not now." " You're gonna miss it." "I'm sorry, Liz." "I'll call you later." "Garfield's being Garfield." "Do I have to bark like Lassie?" "Come on, humor me, would you?" "Arf, arf, arf." "Quickly." "While we're young." "Today." "Let's go." "Quickly." "While we're young." "Today." "Let's go." "Be happy." "You're gonna miss this." "He's the small one, the small one in the guy's hand." "Garfield, I'm not in the mood." "You know, it's never good when you turn off my TV, and this may be the worst ever." "Odie's not ready." "He's months of positive reinforcement away from consistently performing." "Happy, you promised you'd never use that." "That collar is inhumane." "This collar is the dog's future." "Do you have a problem with that?" " No." " No?" "Now we'll see how smart you really are." "Happy Chapman." "Happy Chapman." "Happy..." "Not now, Garfield." "Jon, you're denser than ever." "I gotta think outside the box." "Hey, the box." "Wait a second." "My box... my box had something on it." "Let's see." "Apple Jacks." "Frosted Flakes." "Cocoa Puffs." "Kibbly Kat." "Yes." "There it is." "Telegraph Tower." "That's where they make The Happy Chapman Show." "Yeah." "But how far away can that be?" "Maybe a paw?" "Paw and a half, maybe?" "This is a done deal." "I can do this." "No, can't do this." "Reached physical limits." "Shouldn't have tried it without snacks." "Must go back and reload." "And that's a sign that the tank is full." "I can do this." "Beyond this intersection is just another intersection." "And another." "And then another." "I wonder if there's any meat loaf left in the fridge." "No." "Now's not the time for a plate of meat loaf." "Now's the time for a plate of courage." "Ladies and gentlemen, Garfield has left the cul-de-sac." "Now, that's more my style." "Oh, taxi." "Step on it, will you, driver?" "No, Odie's not a hound dog." "Yes, I'm sure." "No, I don't want another dog." "Thanks, anyway." "Garfield, lunchtime." "I made your favorite, lasagna." "Garfield." "Garfield." "Garfield, where are you?" "Can anyone direct me to the pink building that's shown on the Kibbly Kat box?" "It's the one right by the blue and orange tree." "Well, this doesn't feel pink building-ish." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Rats?" "Rats the size of rats." "Why am I being surrounded here?" "Some of my best friends are vermin." " Finally, some meat." " Meat?" "No, it's not meat." "They measured it - it's 100 per cent body fat, no nutritional value." "Body fat's good with us." " Garfield." " Louis." "What's going on here?" " Louis, I got 3,000 teeny mouths to feed." " Back off." " Garfield?" "What are you doing here?" " Besides defending my life?" "Jon got a dog." "Dog got kidnapped by a TV star." "I'm trying to rescue him." "Seems like you got yourself in ajam." "Wish there was something I could do to help." "Louis, I think you and I have an account still." "Remember?" " Macadamia-nut cookies?" " I do love the macadamia." "Sorry, rat pack, this cat's with me." "Y'all gotta roll." "Go ahead, roll out." "Who wants to go to the Red Lobster alley?" "Maybe next time, little critters." "Good luck with the plague and rabies and everything." "Don't push your luck, fat cat." "You can't just be wandering around the city." "There are dangers everywhere." "Pot holes." "Subways." "Animal control." "Can you get me to Telegraph Tower?" "Two more cookies and you got a deal." "But keep it on the down low." "How "down low" do we have to go?" " Yo, Garfield, you with me?" " This is a little bit lower than I expected." "If I didn't have a box over my head I'd be humiliated." "OK." "Hold up." "All right, we're almost there." "When I give you the signal, we gotta cross the street." " Way over there, by the horizon?" " Come on, Garfield, let's go." "Wait up." "Wait up." "Am I dead?" " Garfield, don't move." " Don't move?" "Not a problem." "Just wait for the walk signal." "Oh, no." "It's a stampede." "Stampede." " If I could just get away from this herd." " Garfield." "Garfield." "Garfield, where are you?" " Garfield, get down from there, man." " No, I'm not coming down." "I'm happy to live the rest of my life up here." "Thank you." "Liz." "Liz." " What's wrong?" " Garfield's run away." "First Odie, now Garfield." "I am the worst pet owner ever." " What happened?" " I can't find him." "I can't live without Garfield." "Let's start at the park." "Are we there yet?" "Are we there yet?" "Are we there yet?" "Are we there yet?" "Are we there yet?" "Are we there yet?" "Garfield, relax." "Look, we're here." " We're here now?" " Curb service." "The Telegraph Tower in all its splendor." "The Telegraph Tower in all its splendor." " It looks smaller on the box." " You gotta go all the way up there?" "Good luck." "I'll catch you later." "I don't do the vertical thing." " Thanks a lot, partner." " Hold up, G." " What?" " Watch out for the po-po." "You know, five-oh." "Control-oh." " Animal control, man." " Oh, that po-po." " Keep it squeal." " OK." "Thanks, partner." "Oink, oink." "I can't try the door." "I couldn't handle another stampede." "Hey." "First thing Monday morning," "I'm gonna get to work on losing those last 20 pounds." "OK." "Everything looks good out there." "Looks like we got ourselves a blockage." "Guess we'll just purge the system." "Pardon me." "That wasn't my stomach, was it?" "There's a cooling breeze." "My poor nose." "Jon, stop the car." " What?" " It's Odie." "Somebody found him. 52903 Euclid Street." "Let's go." "Odie." "Odie." "Odster." "Od-man." "This rescue thing is exhausting." "When do heroes get to eat?" "Oh, my." "It's Odie." "Odie." "I found you." "I'm so sorry I got you into this mess." "Look, we kinda got off on the wrong paw, but you can be really annoying sometimes and you don't give me enough space." "And you're a major-league suck-up." "But we have a common purpose - we share Jon." "Jon needs us even more." "And I kinda want you back home too." "So stand back." "I almost got..." "Hurry up, Wendell." "Fortune waits for no man." " You think he's ready for the audition?" " Well, why don't you see for yourself?" "Come on, Odie." "Show time." "Now..." "Good morning, New York." "I know you're gonna flip for Odie because..." "he sure is flipping for you." " Ride 'em, cowboy." " A shock collar?" "That's... that's inhumane." "Oh, gosh." "Hot doggie." "So, when does our train leave?" " Two hours." " Tickets?" "Chop chop." "Poor Odie." "He faces a future of torture, neglect and degradation." "Nobody gets to mistreat my dog like that except me." "I'll be right behind you, little buddy." "Whoops." "Gravity, do your thing." "Housekeeping at 12 o'clock." "You know, I think I had a nightmare like this once." "Once again my life has been saved by the miracle of lasagna." "I said limo, not taxi." "Do you know the difference?" "Odie." "Here I come." "Don't worry, fella." "I'll rescue you." "Halt." "Got you." "Well, what have we got here?" "Looks like we got us a cat with no tags." "McGillicuddy, there's an animal felony happening right behind you." "I'm trying to do some rescue work here, pal." " Welcome to my world." " I'm gonna call somebody." "This is police brutality." "I have tags." "I just left them in my other fur." "This is abusive, now." "This is abuse." "In you go, big fella." " What is with the cage?" " OK." "Lock it down." "Now, this is is insulting." "You know I'm house-trained." " Settle down, people." " I ought to give you a bunch of fives, pal." "This is all a terrible mistake." "I was trying to save a friend that's not very smart, needed my help." "I don't belong in here." "I have an owner." "I'm not a stray." " Hi." "I'm Jon Arbuckle." " Hi." " I think you have my dog Odie." " I think you're mistaken." " No." "I saw the flyer." "Odie's my dog." " No." "He's Happy Chapman's dog." "Happy Chapman?" "The gentleman with the cat on Channel 37." "He came and took Odie home." ""Odie" is a family name, you know." " Well, good day." " Wait a min..." "Happy Chapman took Odie?" "Think he's got Garfield too?" "I don't know." "But we're gonna find out." "Shut up." "Could you please be quiet?" "Guard, guard." "This really is too much." "Persnikitty, Happy Chapman's cat, what are you doing in here?" "I was his cat, until I outlived my purpose." "Then he replaced me with a dog and dumped me in this wretched place." " All humans are the same." " Not Jon, my owner." "No way." "He only does what's best for me." "He puts up with me and he feeds me." "And lets you vacation in this charming pound." "Hello." " Not for long, Persnikitty." " Would you just stop calling me that?" "My name isn't really Persnikitty." " It's Sir Roland." " Sir Roland?" "Yes." "Another one of Happy Chapman's acts of cruelty." "I was trained in the classical theatre." "But now I'm a celebrity cable cast-off cat, with a name I can never live down." "This may hurt a little." "I'm trying to rescue the dog that replaced you, Persnikitty." "I mean, Roland." "Happy and Odie are getting on a train in less than two hours to become regulars on Good Day New York." "Wait a minute." "Did I just hear that right?" "You're a cat that's trying to rescue a dog?" "It true." "I know, it's a crime against nature." "At first I thought he was a pain, but he's grown on me, like a wart you want to have removed until you realize it defines you in some funny way." "Do you know, that is absolutely charming?" "Let me ask you a question, chubby." "What are you talking about?" "How could you understand?" "He's my friend." "My gosh." "How low have I sunk?" "Guard, may I have some shoelaces, please?" "Well, hello there." "Right on time." "Nice to see you." "I need a five-cat line-up right now." "Move, move, move." " What's going on?" " Adoption." "One of us is getting out of here." "So, you're here to look at a cat." "Let's see if we can't take care of it." "Careful." " Let's go." "Let's hurry it up." " Your hands are freezing." "Come on, you newbie." "This might be your lucky day." "Come on." "There you go." "You are a heavy one." "Excuse me, muscle weighs more than fat." "Check this." "There you go." "All right, slide it up." "Paws on the white line." "Tails in the air." "I don't need to be adopted, guys." "My guy Jon is coming to get me, I'm sure." " That one." " Really." "She picked me." "She picked me." "She did." "She picked me." "She picked me." "Not that one." "That one." "The one that looks like the cat on TV." "Back it up, red." "She went with Trigger." "Sorry, love." "Better luck next time." "Now, you be careful." "That's sore." "Jon's gonna be here in five minutes." " When I give the signal, run like a mad cow." " What?" " Don't you want to save your friend?" " Run?" "Now." "Eat hairball, Happy Chapman." "Not the red button." "Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more." "Go, go, go." "The door." "Run, run." "Go, go." "Get the door." " Wait." "There's a fire hydrant." " Don't stop." "Don't stop." "Code blue, code blue." "We got runners." "Halt." "Stop." "You have not been cleared for release." " Garfield's been here." " Excuse me, can I help you guys?" " We're looking for Happy Chapman." " He's on his way to the train station." "Do you guys have a pass, or something?" "I'm gonna have to ask you to leave." "Thanks." "Excuse me." "Your attention, please." "The New Amsterdam Limited is now boarding on platform 12." "All aboard." "All aboard." "Good afternoon, gentlemen." "What will you be having?" "Salmon, steak or lasagna?" "Steak." "I hate lasagna." "Cat coming through." "Going through the tunnel." " A cat." " I just had to do that." "Final call for the New Amsterdam Limited." "The New Amsterdam Limited is now departing from platform 12." "No." "Wait, please." "Stop." "Wait." "Don't..." "No." "You monster, Chapman." "I can't outrun a train." "Watch the train, pal." "I got it." "It's just a train set, only bigger." " Oh, no." "We're too late." " No." "We're gonna stop that train." "Come on." "Somewhere around here there's gotta be a big table with all the trains on it." "He looks like the type." "And this must be where's he's got his little table." "I'm sorry." "There's no way to stop that train." "You don't understand." "You have to stop that train." "My dog and my cat are on that train." "I suppose if Jon can do this, I can." "OK." "We gotta find our train." "Let's see what happens when I do this." "Boston express, switching to..." "Well, I'm sorry." "Folks in Boston are gonna be a little late today." "Let's see what happens when I do this." " Warning, Seattle Wind..." " I don't care about Seattle." "Warning." "Collision..." "I'm looking for one train in particular." "Just one second, I'm trying to find my friend." " The New Amsterdam..." " There's the Amsterdam." "Warning." "Collision 20 seconds." "Gosh, you sound like my mother." " Hold up." "Everybody stop." " Ten seconds." "Warning." " Five." "Four." " Stop what you're doing." " Stop." "Stop, stop, stop." " All stop." "Yeah." "OK, everybody, let's take it from the top." "OK?" " You have to stop that train." " Hold on." "I'll be down to meet you at the station, Odie." "Actually, that train has stopped." "It's returning to the station." "Are we on the right train?" "Where are ya?" "I think I recognize that whine." "Hey, come on." "See, these are the kinds of seats you get when you book at the last minute." "Good to see you, partner." " Let's get out of here." " Your attention, please." "The New Amsterdam Limited is making an unscheduled stop on platform 12." " Sir, please take your seat." " My future is running away from me." "Please, stay calm." "Go back to your seats." "Would you slow down?" "I've been doing this running thing all day and I am over it." "We're... we're safe now." "We're free." "If it isn't "Unhappy Chappy."" "Going somewhere?" "Nice accessory." "But I don't want to play dress-up with you." "Let's get out of here." "Let's beat it." "No." "Right in the nose again." "So it's gonna get physical, is it?" "Did you really think you could just run away from Happy Chapman?" " Is this a cry for help." " No dumb dirty animal is ever gonna get the better of me." "Let's see how you feel with 200 volts coursing through your thick canine skull." " Chapman." " Come here." "Get your hands off of my friend." "What round is it?" " Good to see you." " We're here to help." " Sir Roland?" " In the fur." "Come on, come on, come on." "Rats." "Here's the drill." "Cats, scratch like you've never scratched before." "Dogs, bite but don't chew." "And rats?" "See if you can get that pretty necklace around his neck." "Canines, felines and vermines, it's show time." "Thanks, boys." "The home team will take it from here." "Better split before animal control gets here." " Garfield, shake it easy." " See you later." "Odie, would you mind sharing the remote, please?" "Every dog has his day, Happy." " Nice kitty." " Let's see what's on the news." "Let me tell you something." "To you, Odie might be just a dumb, stupid, smelly dog." "But to me, he's all that and much more." "He's my friend." "Odie, try something else." "Maybe there's a game on." "Strong finish, little buddy." "Odie?" "Garfield?" " Odie?" " Odie?" "Odie?" " Be happy." " This is for stealing my dog and my cat." "He didn't steal me." "I was doing the rescue work." "Garfield." "Odie." " Come here." " Come here." "I missed you guys so much." "I was so worried about you." "Never gonna let you out of my sight again." "Never." "You guys are my best friends." "You had me at hello." "This is Walter J Chapman, with breaking news from the Midwest." "Abby Shields reporting." "What you got for me, Abby?" "It appears that a deranged man may be the cause of all the trouble here." "A deranged man?" "What is this?" "In fact, the police are bringing the suspect out as we speak." "Good grief, it's my idiot brother." "That's Happy Chapman." "He's going for a ride in the police car." "Sources tell me that this incident somehow involved a dog and a very heroic cat." " Garfield?" " He saved Odie." " Now he's a hero." " I didn't realize." "Garfield's on TV." "He's a hero." "Garfield." "That's Garfield." "Garfield's a hero now." "Thanks, everybody." "Thanks for saying that." "We're a whole street full of heroes." "Yeah." "Heroes." "Yeah." "Hey, Arlene." "Well, it's nice to be recognized by your peers." "I couldn't have done this without you." "I..." " You're a really great friend." " Jon," "I want to be more than your friend." " You do?" " Yeah." "Where do they find the energy?" "Yeah." "Just one big happy family." "Yeah, right." "Hit the floor." "No." "Seriously, you can come up, buddy." "Come on." "No, seriously, come on up." "Down you go." "We just hit it off so great because we both love the same thing." "And that is me." "Hey, Odie." "Help me, I can't get up." "Odie, my friend, bring me some ice." "Will you hurry up, you dumb dog?" "I'm in pain." "Visiontext Subtitles:" "Katherine Appleby" "USEN"