"Hiya" " You're always fucking late, aren't you?" " Sorry" " It's good to see you" " And you" "Come in" " You look really good" " Get in" "Is Jamie through there?" "Yeah, they're in the living room." "They're all in there" "Cathy, your oven's not working" "Oh, don't worry about it." "It'll be alright" "All right" "Here you go" "Hey" " How are you doing?" " Yeah." "Good." "Good" " I made a bet you'd be on time tonight" " Sorry" " Hiya" " Hiya" " I had a late shift at work" " Well, you're here now" " Beer?" " Cheers" "And something to get you started." "Alright, Russ?" "Alright." "Johnny, how you doing, mate?" " This is Damien" " Hello, mate" "Get that down, you" "Warm your cockles" "Come on." "Where are you, son?" " Here" " Thanks buddy" "Here we are" "There's no papadums." "I'm sorry" "Thank you." "What have we got" "Jamie, Jamie, Jamie!" " Have you got a plate or something?" " Hold on" "We haven't got enough plates" "Has everyone got his plates?" "Geez, Haley, Pass that¡­" "Get lost" "Cathy, have you got another plate?" "Another plate?" "Have we not got enough?" " You need one as well." "Get two" "You can eat from the packet" " I'll just have a small one" " I'll have any one" "Actually you should have the small one 'cause you were late" "All right." "This is Cathy's." "Vegan?" "Couple of beers, you know, and sambas." "All that" " Strip club" " Definitely" "No." "You're not having a stripper" "Wait, wait, wait." "You're not invited" "You're not having a stripper!" "Got to have a stripper." "It's traditional, isn't it?" " It is traditional" " Tradition." "It's tradition" " I don't believe it" " It's just what you do" "I'm not going to have a stripper." "I don't see why you should" " Get a classy" " Well, it's just natural." "Yeah." "Classy one" "Russ, you wouldn't like a stripper, would you?" "I don't know." "I don't¡­" "Yeah, yeah." "He's all right with a stripper, ain't ya?" "Right?" "So Russ starts a little fire, nice and cozy in the middle of the field" "And before you know it these fifth-Years come along" "And they're just adding wood and adding wood" "There's a big line of people just adding wood" "The fire is fucking massive" "The flames are higher than this house¡­" " I'm not joking." "And then we are¡­" " It's true" "And then, any minute, we are surrounded by police" "The whole perimeter of the entire field" "With those million power candle torches things" "And an astra burns on, full beam" "We all scarper." "You're fucking left there, stoned out your mind" "You are coming on Sunday, aren't you?" "You're joking?" "Actually I don't think I can handle it without you being there" "I can't wait, mate" "I've got Lois the sweetest little present" " Yeah?" " Yeah" "That's nice." "Well of course you have" "That's why we made you the godfather" " It's nice to see you, mate" " Yeah" "You've been keeping a low profile recently" "Hmm" "Anything to tell?" " There's a promotion at work¡­" " Ah, promotion" " Doing a load of extra shifts" " Let me in." "Let me in!" " All right?" " All right, mate" "Here, give us this" " What do you reckon?" " You look lovely" ""You look lovely"" "Very nice" "Look like¡­ Kavanagh." "Kavanagh" " Q.C.?" " Oh, you're always such a moppet" "Give us it" " Got a lighter?" " Yeah" "I've gotta go." "I'm knackered" "Oh no." "I'm having a good night." "Let's keep it going" "Jamie, I've got to work in the morning." "And I'm a bit stoned" " But I'll see you on Sunday" " Yeah, all right." "Yeah" "It'll be fun." "Alright" " Give my love to the little one" " Yeah." "OK, mate" " All right." "See you" " Bye bye" " Morning" " All right" " How you feeling?" " Pretty rough" "Gonna give me the coffee then?" "Thank you" "Oh shit" "It's all right." "Don't worry about it" "What time do you start work?" "Uh, 10:00" "Got a bit of time then" "Do you want to get back into bed?" "You were pretty wasted last night" "Sorry" " You don't have to apologize" " Was I a dick?" "I had to save you from the hobbit" "Don't be nasty" "He was all right." "A bit camp" "Had nice smile, though" "Is that what you go for, a nice smile?" "No" "Just little people" "What?" "Have I got morning breath?" " Quite the contrary." "You brushed your teeth" " No" " I can smell toothpaste" " So?" "Now you've broken an unwritten rule" "Because now you smell all minty fresh" "And I smell of cock and bum" "So did you like the club?" "Did you like the club?" "Not really." "No." "I hated it" " Right." "You ready, then?" " For what?" "You can't get out of it now." "You promised me" "And I've come for my pound of flesh" "I thought you were joking" "Of course not." "Do you think I would have slept with you otherwise?" " I'm not doing it" " Oh yeah, you will" "What kind of stuff is it you want me to say?" "Anything you like" "Just talk about last night" "What happened, what you wanted to happen" "It's up to you, really" " Why?" " Just because" " It's for an art project?" " Yeah" "And you're just gonna lie there and record me speaking" "Exactly" "And people are going to listen to it" "If you make the grade, yeah" "Oh, come on." "Um¡­" "I don't know" "I can hardly remember anything that happened" "Just start from the beginning, when you first saw me" " I don't know." "I just saw you..." " Oh, come on." "Stop stalling" "Just talk" "All right" "OK." "Um" "I saw you, in the club, and I thought you were¡­" "I thought you were¡­ out of my league or whatever" " I liked your T-Shirt a lot¡­" " What league are you in?" "I don't know" "Third division?" "I don't think he believes that for a moment" "Then you¡­ followed me into the toilets" "And tried to wind me up at the urinal." "Hot" " Well, you left" " And then I left, yeah" "Why?" "There was someone else I wanted" "But by the time I found him, he was with someone else, so¡­" "So I was your second choice?" "Why does that matter?" "This is a stupid fucking conversation" " Did you hear that?" " No" "Queer!" " Glen¡­" " What the fuck do you think you're doing?" " Glen..." " Leave him alone!" " Just close the fucking window..." "Fuck off" " What did you say?" " Just leave it" "Fuck off" "I swear to God, if you don't quit" "I'm gonna come down there and fucking rape your holes" "Do you hear me?" " It's cold out there" " What, what was that?" "That was fun" "They're gonna fucking chuck bricks through my windows" "You live 14 flights up" ""I'm going to rape your holes"?" "Fuck" "Who says that?" "And then...we came back here, didn't we" "Obviously" "And¡­" "I offered you a drink, although I can't really remember" "And then you kissed me in the hall way, my hallway" " And I groped you" " Did you?" "And you groped me" "And I was happy... to feel you had a big dick" "It was throbbing in your trousers" "Which was surprising because you were so drunk" "And then we went into the bedroom" "Can you remember what you wanted to happen?" "Nope" "What about when I took your top off?" "Nope" "I wanted to lick your pits" "I've got a thing about pits" " Come on, lift up" " No" " Let me have a see" " No!" " Come on" " No!" " Why not?" " 'Cause it's weird" "It's not weird" " Yes it is" " Let me have a look" "No" "You're pathetic" "Stingy bitch, open up" "All right." "I'll show you." "OK, but..." "Don't touch my pits" "God, what is this, a museum?" "Open" "OK" "See." "Very nice." "A good amount of hair" "And then...you started to jack me off" " No, I didn't" " Yeah, you did" "No." "I didn't" "I thought you were too drunk to remember" "We were in the hallway and we were kissing" "And like you said, you took my shirt off" "I remember that because¡­" "I was really sweaty" "And I was worried that I was going to be all smelly" "You were fine" " Good." "Thank you" " Then what?" "Then you started kissing my ears" "You kissed my neck and then you kissed my¡­" "Then you kissed my hand, which was¡­" " Do you wish my cock was bigger?" " No" "Have you had many cut cocks?" "Why do you ask that?" "I couldn't work out if you were..." "Pretending to be the type of boy who didn't suck many cocks" "Or you...actually were that type of boy?" "And this is what you were thinking about when we were having sex?" "What about when I was playing with your asshole?" "Why do you ask these things?" "Too hard, too soft?" "It was fine" " It was too hard, maybe" " So why didn't you say anything?" "You didn't want me to fuck you" " No, I didn't" " Why?" "Just because" " You're not into that" " It's not that." "It's just¡­" "Would it have made you feel too¡­" "Gay?" "In fact, are you actually out?" " Yes" " Are you sure about that?" "I just thought that we were having a really nice time" "And it was lovely." "It was more than enough for me" "So, sorry Glen, if I don't make your grade" "How do you save it?" "Hmm..." "You've done it." "That's fine" "So then..." "It was a delight to meet you" "And you really do have a lovely home" "Thank you" "See you soon" "Queer!" "Ain't looking like a big boy right now, though" "'Cause that bitch ain't even clean downstairs" "I don't want to tell you the destruction that was going on down there" "Really!" "It weren't clean!" "Anyhow I'm thinking what can I do, what can I do about it" "All right." "I'm not gonna get hard, fuck it" "I'll use the finger in her" "Turn the lights off and I'm thinking of something nice while I finger her" "Get fucking, squelching it down" "I might be able to get a feel here" "Got two fingers, like the scissor thing..." "Three fingers, four fingers" "Got the fucking whole hand in there, fucking jabbering her" "Get in there, you bastard!" " Anyway, I didn't shag her" " I was gonna say what was the fuck like" "Someone on the phone, isn't he?" "Who are you fucking talking to?" "Look." "Who's holding you, son?" "No." "No" "No?" "He's a fucking shy one, innee?" "Don't worry." "It weren't Becky" "It weren't Becky." "You can fucking have her, mate" " Time and we'll fucking go twos-Up¡­" " All right." "All right" " Do the David Seaman on her" " Shut up" "Afternoon" "There you go." "Thought you might need it" " Cheers" " That's all right" "Cin-Cin" "What a beauty" "Thank you" "I got it in a charity shop for like¡­ 30 quid as a bargain" "So do you enjoy your job?" "Yeah." "It's all right" "There's nothing wrong with being a lifeguard, you know" "I didn't say there was" "I'm just saying" "I was in the swimming team with one of my schools, so¡­" " You ever save anyone's life?" " Yeah" " Really?" " Yeah" "What's funny about that?" "I've saved loads of people's lives." "Old people mainly" "But I've been a lifeguard for years, so it's¡­" "Someone drowned once" "I was off-Duty though, so¡­" " Oh, shame" " Yeah, I know" "Fuck me" "You all right?" "You need to stop smoking, mate" "So I'll get you a free day pass" "It's a nice place you've brought me to" "So what do you do now?" "I can't really remember, sorry" "I work in the gallery in town" " That's right, I remember" " Have you ever been?" "No." "That's the ugly one, right?" " Do you like art?" " Yeah" "It does'n matter if you don't" "No." "I like art" "Just because I haven't been to a gallery doesn't mean I don't" "Have you traveled much?" "No." "Not really" " You ever been to America?" " No." "I'd like to though" "Listen." "Want a backie?" "No" "You can't be¡­" "I can't..." "Come on." "Put your leg over" "Fuck's sake" "I look like a twat" " All right." "Easy" " Fuck!" "You on?" " OK" " Put your arms round my waist" "There we go." "Do you feel safe?" " No" " Good" " You ready?" " This is a bad idea" "It's a brilliant idea" "Jeez" "Whoo!" "Scream if you wanna go faster" " I like all you stuff" " Thanks" "Looks like you raided a charity shop" "Yeah" "I have new stuff, you know?" " What are you writing?" " Nothing" "Like this mug, for example" "This was probably owned by some lovely little old lady with a mustache" "And she bought it and it was her favorite thing in the whole wide world" "And then she died, gave it to her grandchildren" "They hated it, sold it" "Then bought an XBOX or a WII or..." "Some flat" "Pack wardrobe from IKEA" "And now I've got it." "And I like it" "It's a very costly mug" " What do you mean?" " To be able to buy a WII¡­" "Or an XBOX" "I don't even know how much those things are" "Do you want milk, sugar?" " Yeah." "One of both" " OK" "Just got to wait for the kettle to boil" " You hungry?" " No" " I've got some nice pita bread" " I'm fine" "Well I'm starving." "So I'm gonna have to eat" "OK" " I've been thinking about this morning and your tape thing" " Hmm" " It's for an art project, yeah?" " Yeah" "So is that what you wanna be?" "You wanna be¡­" "An artist?" "Kind of" "So, and you really don't have to tell me" "How is your tape, art project just..." "Gonna be an art project and not people talking dirty?" "You think talking about sex is dirty?" "You know what I mean" "It's just I'm not sure if¡­" "People wanna hear about the random sex life of strangers" "You just don't want people hearing about your sex life" "That's true" "Imagine if everybody was just open about what they did" "And then everything was normal" " Yeah, but people are open, aren't they?" " Are they?" "There's this guy in work today" "I just sat there, having my lunch" "And he starts talking about how many fingers he can put up a girl's fanny" " But was he gay?" " No" "Well, there you go then" "You like a lot of condiments, don't you?" "I love my condiments" "Gay people never talk about it in public" "Unless it's just cheap innuendo" "I think it's 'cause they're ashamed" "Maybe it's just they're a little bit embarrassed" "Isn't that the same thing?" "It smells of spunk" "Anyway, that tape thing isn't really about sex at all" "Really?" "I know what artists sound like when they talk about their work" "So I'm not gonna sit here and sound like a cunt" "Well, it's a good job you're not an artist yet then, isn't it" "Very funny!" "Come on." "Tell me." "I'm interested" "All right" "You know what it's like when you first sleep with someone you don't know" "Yes" "It's¡­you like become this blank canvas" "And it gives you an opportunity" "To project onto that canvas who you want to be" "And that's what's interesting because everybody does it" "So do you think that I did it?" "Of course you did" "Well, what happens is" "While you're projecting who you want to be" "This gap opens up between who you want to be and who you really are" "And in that gap" "It shows you what's stopping you becoming who you want to be" "And all of this from talking about sex?" "All of that from talking about sex" "Interesting" "I like it" "I'm not sure that I...totally understand what you're saying" "All this sounds better in my mind, I doubt if I can explain it..." "No." "No." "No.." "I'm interested." "I'm really interested" "So what are you gonna do?" "Are you gonna¡­are you just gonna play the recordings out loud?" " I don't know" "Or are you¡­" "The problem is that no one's¡­no one's gonna come see it" "Because it's about gay sex" "So the gays will only come 'cause they want a glimpse of a cock" "And they'll be disappointed" "And the straights won't come because, well..." "It's got nothing to do with their world" "They'll go and see pictures of refugees or murder or rape" "Gay sex?" "Fuck off" "Fuck it" "Doesn't matter, does it?" "I'd come" " No you wouldn't" " Yeah I would" "Ok." "Maybe I wouldn't come" "Maybe I wouldn't come" "Make sure you put your thumb over the hole" "Do you want me to light it for you?" "Tuck in" "Here." "Do it again" "That's it" "Are you out to your parents?" "Are you out to your parents?" "You don't look like the kind of boy who would be" "Well" "Well what?" " It's complicated" " It's not complicated" "You just have to do it" "I came out to mine on Mother's Day" " How old were you?" " 16" " Did they freak out?" " No" "I told them "Nature or Nurture, it's your fault"" ""So get over it"" "Good answer" " Well I would." "But¡­" " But what?" "I don't really know my parents¡­well" "Actually I don't know who they are at all" "That's interesting" "It's fine" "So what happened?" "Well¡­" "I moved around in foster homes until I was about 16" "Hmm." "Fuck" "I met my best mate there, Jamie, when we were 12" "It was nice." "We just went around as a pair" " Fucking hell, what was it like?" " What?" "Being in care" "It was fine" "I mean, I wasn't abused or anything" "You should have got a refund" "So does¡­does he know about you?" " Who?" " Jamie" "Yeah" "Yeah I'm like his brother really" "Everyone knows about me in my friends" "The close ones anyway" "What?" "What?" "Is it really wrong that I'm finding the whole..." "Orphan thing pretty sexy?" "Oh my God" "What's wrong with you?" "Sorry." "I think it's sweet" "Are you serious?" "Are you laughing at my childhood tragedy?" "I just got an image of you as Oliver with Mr. Bumble" "Fucking hell" "I'm a bad person" " Yeah, you are" " I'm a terrible cunt" "You're terrible" "So do you live with Jill all the time?" "Yeah." "She's my flat mate" "She's all right." "She keeps out the way" "I quite liked her" "Yeah." "She's a good girl" "Well, thank you for the afternoon" "Uh, thank you" "So I'll give you a call later" "OK" "OK." "I will" "Bye" "All right?" "Hello again." "Look there's something I didn't tell you" "Have you got a boyfriend?" "No, I don't have a boyfriend" "I don't do boyfriends" "I'm going away tomorrow" "Cool." "Where are you going?" "Portland." "It's in Oregon" "Very nice" "How long are you going for?" "About two years, I think." "Maybe more" "I thought you meant like for a holiday or something" "No." "I'm doing a course" ""Contemporary Perspectives of Modern Art in the 21 Century"" "So you're doing an art course?" " Glen, that's¡­that's really great" " I should have said something" "No" "It's fine" "It's great, honestly" "You didn't have to tell me, honestly." "An art course" "You get to be a proper cunt now" "I've told you now, so I'm gonna go" "Hey." "What are you doing tonight?" "'Cause I'm having some drinks with some friends" "And it would be pretty cool if you came along" "But it's up to you" "'Cause I don't wanna kinda put pressure on you or anything" "So I'll send you a text or something" "And then you can come or not come" "And it's up to you." "It doesn't matter either way, OK?" "All right." "All right." "All right" " All right?" " All right?" " How are you doing?" " Yeah." "Not too bad" "Look." "Cathy's gone up town with Lois" "Do you want to come around or you're up to anything?" "Has she?" "I might have plans later actually" "Oh." "All right." "Well¡­" "Going out." "Party" "OK." "What, like a work thing?" "No." "No" "I've actually, I met somebody, someone I met" " Oh right." "Nice one" " Yeah" "When'd you meet then?" "I met him last night at Propaganda." "It's a gay bar" "You said you were going home when you left" "Sorry, mate" "I was about to go home" "Just I was on the bus and I was thinking..." "So I just¡­" "I changed my mind." "So, sorry" "No." "That's all right." "What's his name then?" "Glen" "Glen?" "Well, look, why don't you bring him tomorrow?" "No." "No way" " No." "It'll be fine" " No" "What's the problem?" " OK¡­" " Well it's up to you" "Listen." "He's going away anyway, so¡­" "Oh right." "I see" "I've got to go, Jamie." "So I'll catch you in a bit" "I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?" "Yeah right." "You better be there" "All right, mate." "Bye bye bye" "He definitely looks gay!" "Have you seen his walk?" " And his voice too" " Yes his voice..." "He probably does straightening, like, conditions his hair every morning" "He gets up at half-seven so his mum can do his hair" " Have you seen his Facebook status?" " No" "There's about 40 a day¡­" "All right, mate." "Do you do bitter?" "I'll have two pints of bitter please" "Bought you a drink" "I don't like beer" " Do you not?" " Afraid not" "Sorry" "Why this place, Glen?" "Bit more fun, isn't it?" "Than your...normal gay bar" "Surprised you came" " Really?" " Little bit" "Well I'm here now" "Good." "Cheers" "Hi." "Hi" "We've got a new member of the group." "Let's not make a fuss about it" "This is Russell, everybody" "This is cock one, coke two, cock three, Dolly Parton" "Cock four, Lorna." "You know Jill already" "And this is Paul, all right" "I went on the bed with a hard-on" "And I heard all this clanging and things" "Coming out of bags and zips and poppers and things" "And he was there for ages¡­Yay!" "Well done" "There we go" "One, two, three, four, five, oh!" "Anyway, so I was lying on the bed waiting for him" "And after about 10 minutes of this" "It was like I was starting to lose my hard-On" "Because it was getting boring" "And then he walked in" "And he was fully done up in leather" "Like boots things and chaps and everything" "And he was much older than his picture said" "And he walked in and I was like, "Oh." "Fuck"" "And he just put his boot on my bed and he went" ""Lick my fucking boots"" "And I went like" ""I don't think so"" ""I think I'll pass, actually"" "And he was like, "lick my fucking boots!"" "Sorry about this." "All right, how are you?" "I'd leave him to it if I were you" "What's he doing?" "Well, he's just started phase one of the attack" "The whole straight narrative is there for you to inherit" "It's just there" "There to shape your foundations, to set you up" "Boy meets girl." "They fall in love" "They go skipping through the meadows" "And that's how your life is set." "Everything is there" "All the books, All the films." "All the TV shows" "Everything is just inherited, given to you" "Think he does like you, though" "I mean, he wouldn't let me listen to the tape" "And he always lets me listen to the tapes" "So, you must have made some kind of impression" "I'm quite glad he didn't let you have a listen to the tape" "To be honest with you" "Yeah, he didn't let me listen to it" "But there's still time" "Dirty, is it!" "No." "No" " Proper sordid?" " No" "Oh, boring?" "Them ones are best" "I took umbrage with the loud noise" " You didn't take it" " You¡­you made a loud noise" "You didn't make umbrage with the loud noise" "You made umbrage with" "The fact that you've got a load of gay people in a straight bar" " That's what you've got your problem with" " No" " Admit it." "Just admit it" " No" "As soon as you admit it¡­" "The thing is, Glen likes to be a big fish, not a little tiddler" "I mean to be honest, I think he's gonna bottle it" " Can you keep a secret?" " Yeah" "Some of us have got a little bet" "That's not very supportive" "Supportive?" "No." "No." "I just understand him." "That's all" "He does this, I mean like once" "He sighed up to teach in Africa" "I think it was Africa" "It was just when he split up with John" "Has he told you about John?" "No." "He hasn't told me about John" "To be honest with you, I don't really think¡­" "That was way back when he did boyfriends" "The sexuality" "The sexuality of the loud noise was not an issue with me" " The sexuality of the loud noise?" " It was the fact that the noise was loud" "It was the fact that the noise was loud" "Oh right." "So it's just merely a matter of decibels" "He used to cheat on him a lot." "John did" "And Glen was like "It doesn't matter"" "But it would matter to me" "And then at the end of the relationship" "He was in the park, cruising, and he got beaten up" " What, Glen did?" " No, no." "Not Glen." "John!" "Volume is the issue." "Volume, that's it" "Just ruining your night" "We're just here ruining your night, is that the problem?" "Look who's holding hands" "What?" "Nothing" "You look like you want to kiss me" "I do" "Go on then" "No." "Not here." "I can't" "Thank you" "Shall we get the fuck out of here?" "What do you mean?" "Do you want to get the fuck out of here?" "Don't you think your mates are gonna be a little bit pissed off?" "Why?" "I mean, we just marched out of there" "You practically pushed me out the door" "I didn't even say goodbye to anybody" "You didn't say goodbye to anybody" "Yeah, I don't do goodbyes" "I actually had quite good fun in there." "It was all right" "I like your friends" "It was quite nice being around gay people" " Oh." "Don't do it" " Don't do what?" " I know what you are gonna say" " What?" "You're gonna say" "Oh, it's nice being around people of my own kind, my own people" "'Cause they think the same as me" "We talk about all the same things" "We've got the same things in common" "But it's not like that" "You know" " This is David Lane" " Essentially they're all just idiots as well" " This tram is for Phoenix Park" " Except they dance a lot more" "The next stop is Highbury Vale" "So what do you think of Jill?" "Yeah, she was nice" "You're such a fucking liar" "It's nothing" "I wouldn't want anybody¡­" "Talking badly about my mates" "What is it?" " Honestly, it's nothing¡­" " Fucking spit it out!" "I don't know, Glen." "I just¡­" "She's not very supportive" "You know, or understanding about..." "And this is only from what I've spoken to her about, but I didn't¡­" "She just wasn't very supportive and that's what you want, isn't it" "You want your mates to be understanding..." "To support your ideas, I don't know" "What the fuck did she say?" "She didn't say anything." "She didn't say anything" "It was just, it was just...an impression I got" "Anyway it's none of my business..." "To start talking about that kind of stuff, is it?" "I can't wait to get the fuck out of here, to be honest" " No, you don't mean that" " I do." "Maybe I don't" "Just my friends¡­" "Sometimes they're like..." "A noose around my neck, do you know what I mean?" "No" "I've got to be honest with you, I don't really know what you mean" "It's like when you've had the same friends for too long" "They become like¡­" "Everything becomes cemented" "What, and that's a bad thing, is it?" "Of course it's a bad thing" "I don't want to be in fucking concrete, thank you very much" "It's like they won't let you¡­" "They won't let you be any version of yourself except an old version" "Or the version that they want you to be" "I hope that's not true" "You know it's true" "No one wants to know they're in the shit" "If they see you trying to crawl out" "They're very happy to drag you back in" "Oh." "And that's what you're trying to do, is it?" "You're trying to drag yourself out of the shit" "I'm trying to¡­" "Redraw myself" " Of course, you being the artist that you are" " Exactly" "Everyone keeps fucking hiding my pencil" "Hi." "Can we get two cars, please?" " Have you got three quid?" " Yep" "I'm gonna kill you" "Oh, you sure about that?" "There you go" "Thank you" "Ladies and gentlemen." "The fast cars!" "Fuck you!" "Remember, this was pre-Internet" "So, you know, it was like, there wasn't any..." ""Straight-Boy-Goes-Gay-For-Pay" websites" "But my mum had this VHS of "A Room With A View"" " Have you seen it?" " Yeah." "I think I have" "Is that the one with all the..." " Posies in all the houses and stuff?" " Yeah" "Well, they've got that." "But also they've got this scene where..." "All the boys go running naked around the lake" "Oh, I see" "And I'd frozen the video just on the moment" "When you could see Rupert Graves' cock" "You know what it's like when you pause a video, it's shuddering" "And I was tanking away and there it was" "I spaffed up a huge spider web of juvenile semen" " Just as my mate walked in" " Oh my God" "And he looked at me and he looked at the TV screen" "And he saw Rupert Graves' shuddering cock and he knew" "What did he say?" "He called me a faggot, called me a queer" "But the weird thing was" "In that moment I could see myself through his eyes, you know" "I could see what I looked like" " And you know what?" " You didn't care" "I didn't care." "Exactly" "I thought, if he wants to see me as some horny little faggoish angry child" "Then that's fine by me" "It doesn't make any difference" " Are you still friends with him?" " Nah" "I wasn't friends with anyone else after he told the rest of the school" "That's awful, Glen" "It is what it is" "Shall we have another cheeky one?" "Come on" "Glen, Glen¡­" "I've just broken some ice!" "You haven't met my neighbors." "They're nuts" "I'm "breaking the ice" with your neighbors" "Frankie upstairs will be going nuts, dying" "There's something I didn't tell you today" "Do you have a boyfriend?" "Yeah, that's exactly it." "I've got a boyfriend" "No" " You know your tape thing?" " Yeah?" "I've got¡­something kind of similar" "Really?" "What do you mean?" "Obviously mine's private and not public like yours" " Why am I telling you this¡­" " Why do you do it?" "I don't know." "Just do" ""He was good-Looking and normal, which was nice"" ""He was not too camp"" ""And on the third day he told me"" ""When he came out to his parents, they refused to ever talk about it"" ""And he said he didn't care but it was obvious he did"" ""Then to stop us talking about it he sang me a song"" "Fucking hell" "What a dickhead" ""I was mortified"" ""I wanted Jamie to be there listening to it"" ""Because I'm sure he would have found it funny"" ""And I knew I could never see him again"" ""But I stayed that night anyway"" ""Because I didn't want him to feel bad"" "Samaritan" "Did you tell Jamie about it?" " Shut up" " And you send it to the back of my throat." "Come on" "It's quite sexy" "Beautiful" "Good start." "Do you wanna have a go?" "Let's make it happen, come on" "Isn't that amazing?" ""I followed him around the sauna for a while"" ""And I was so nervous"" ""I wasn't sure I'd even be able to get an erection"" ""We went into the cabin, but he wouldn't kiss me"" ""All he wanted to do was suck me off"" ""And get me to come in his mouth, which I did"" ""But he wouldn't let me touch him or anything"" ""And hen he left"" ""I saw him later as I was getting changed and he ignored me"" ""And it was then that I noticed he had a wedding ring on"" ""I felt bad and weird"" ""Bad for me, but also for his wife"" ""I wondered if when he got home"" ""And he kissed her, she could smell me on him"" ""And I wondered if the kids were waiting for him in their bedrooms"" ""Wanting to say goodnight to their dad"" ""But he was late 'cause he was sucking me off in a sauna"" "So¡­" "What?" ""I met this guy who was nice"" ""I've called him Paul Smith"" ""But that wasn't his name because I can't remember his name"" ""But it was the aftershave he was wearing"" ""He had a really nice flat near the cemetery"" ""And I think he worked in design"" ""He told me his parents were fine about him being gay"" ""Which must have been good"" ""And he had photos of them on his wall"" ""He asked if he could fuck me"" ""I told him I'd never done it before"" ""And that he needed to be careful"" ""I can remember us being paranoid"" ""About the condom coming off"" ""And me getting aids and everybody would think I was scum"" ""He wouldn't give me his number"" ""Because he said he had a boyfriend"" ""On the bus I felt so ashamed and shitty"" ""When I got back I puked up and spent the rest of the day in bed"" ""Thinking about all kinds of stuff"" "Freaked you out?" "No." "It's just enough now" "I've freaked you out." "Do you think I'm a freak?" "You're a freak, but that's all right" "What did this guy look like?" "Why?" "Just because" "I don't know." "Blonde hair?" "Did he look kind of Swedish?" "I suppose" "He'd have fucking loved this" "Who?" "His name was John, thought, not Paul" "Who's¡­John did you say?" "You're a terrible liar for a faggot" "I knew Jill couldn't keep her mouth shut" "I didn't ask her anything like this" "Fuck it." "It doesn't matter" "Look, straight people like us" "As long as we conform, behave by their little rules" "Imagine your friends" "If you suddenly started getting all really political about being a fag" "Or you got suddenly like camp and swishy" " Or talked about rimming all the time" " But that's not what I am, is it?" "That's not who I am" "Trust me, they like it as long as we don't shove it down their throats" "Why should I just shove it down their throats?" "Because they shove it down our throats all the time" "Being straight." "Straight story lines on television, everywhere" "In books, on billboards, magazines." "Everywhere" "But, oh, the gays, the gays" "We mustn't upset the straights" "Shh." "Watch out." "The straights are coming" "Let's not upset them" "Let's hide in our little ghettos" "Let's not hold hands." "Let's not kiss in the street." "No" "We have the chance to make up our own shit" "We can grow our own garden" "And put little flowers and pansies" "Gay gnomes in it and water features and water sports and swings" "But no" "Everybody wants to concrete the fucker over and get a gas barbecue" "You're obsessed with concrete." "You're absolutely obsessed with the stuff" "But why would you want concrete when you can have whatever you want?" "I'm not saying people shouldn't forge relationships" "All I'm saying is that we don't need someone..." "To sanction it, to make it legitimate" "To make us respectable" "Yeah." "Heaven forbid" "And don't tell me that people get married because of love" "People get married for the same reason that they buy a house or a dog" "To tie them down so that they go" ""Oh, no." "We couldn't possibly go away this weekend"" ""Who'd look after Buster?" "Couldn't possibly leave Buster alone"" "Maybe sometimes people just like dogs" "And it's not even proper marriage anyway" "In America they went out on the streets and fought for equal rights" "And over here people are too busy on fucking Grindr" "Or shaving their asses to be able to do anything" "Where's their fight?" "Well, it's a fight, isn't it, for something that you don't believe in?" "That's not the point" "It is." "It is, kind of" "A man standing up with another man, in front of everyone, saying" ""I love you and I want to get married"" "I think that's pretty fucking radical statement" "I mean, standing up and saying" ""I want to spend the rest of my life with you"" "When everybody's looking at them, saying" "That it's wrong." "It's disgusting." "It's sick" "I mean, people say that we should go to hell for this" "Fucking...go to fucking hell" "I mean, why do people fucking say that?" "Do you know what I mean?" "So actually, standing up and saying" ""You know what, I love you, and fuck you and fuck you"" ""I don't give a fuck what you fucking think." "I don't care"" "That is pretty fucking amazing" "But why do people have to feed into the system?" "Oh my God." "Now you sound like a fucking teenager, Glen" "I mean, earlier, you asked me" "If I thought that people got married because they love each other" "Yeah" "Right." "OK." "Well, maybe they do." "Maybe they do" "And yeah." "Maybe¡­" "Fucking maybe it is stupid and maybe¡­" "Maybe they will get divorced and all that kind of shit" "But fucking who cares?" "Why does it bother you so much, Glen?" "Why does it bother you that..." "Maybe two people fucking love each other" "And they want to get married and they want a relationship" "And they just want to be happy?" "Want another line?" "Why do you think it's going to be so different in America?" "Because it will be..." "Have you ever been properly alone?" " Of course I have" " I mean properly alone" "Sat in a hotel room in Portland all by yourself" " No friends." "Alone" " Yes" "I don't believe you." "I don't believe you" "In a week you're going..." "You're going to go completely mental" "Of course you are, because you're going to have no friends" "And you're going to compromise because that is what people do" "They compromise, because nobody, fucking, fucking nobody" "Nobody can deal with being by themselves" "I don't want to compromise" "There you go again" "You're condescending to me" "It's like you're always fucking attacking me" " I'm not attacking you!" " You fucking are" "I mean, it's like you want everybody to think independently" "But you want everyone to fucking agree with you" "Why can't you just understand that some people just want to be happy?" "Are you happy?" "I'm fine" "But yeah, things could be fucking better" "Easier" "But I am absolutely fine" " Sure you are" " Don't you fucking dare!" " Calm down." "Don't you fucking dare presume that you understand me" "You think just because I can't¡­" "You think just because I can't walk around the fucking streets holding hands" "Or talking to my mates about fucking sucking cocks" "That you know me" "No, I don't" "I can see it in your eyes, Glen, I can see it" "That you think¡­ you think I'm a fucking idiot" " Because I want a fucking relationship" " Did I say that?" "But the thing is, Glen" "The thing is, Glen, I think that you want one too" "I think" "You would make an amazing boyfriend" "That's not what I¡­that's not what I'm saying" "It's not about me" " Fuck me" " I don't want one" "I don't believe you." "I don't believe you" "John has fucked you up." "He's fucked you up..." "Let's stop this now before we go somewhere we don't want it to go" "Because he's fucking cheated on you" "You don't know nothing about me and John" "You don't know nothing" "About how I feel about whether he cheated on me or not" "And for the record I don't give a shit that he cheated on me" "I give a shit that he was a fucking liar and a faggot" "And he couldn't stand up for himself" "Couldn't stand up¡­Glen" " He was beaten up in a fucking park because he was gay" " Look..." "Maybe if it's easier if I tell you that I'm brokenhearted" "But I'm not" "I don't want" "I can't have a boyfriend right now" "And that's all there is to say about it" "I really don't want us to fall out about this" "Really, I don't" "I need to go to the toilet" "I need to go to the toilet" "Fuck" "I thought I heard a firework" "It's probably just some kids" "Yeah." "Probably" "I'm really sorry, I was¡­" "I was a dick." "Sorry" "It's all right" " Probably too much coke" " Yeah" "Blame it on the drugs, I always say" "Talking of drugs¡­" "This is my secret reserve of master kush" "Would you like some?" "Thank you" " Swap?" " No, thank you" "OK" "OK." "Stop" "I'm OK" "You know, when I'm, when I'm at home, I'm absolutely fine" "Fine?" "Yeah" "Completely" "I don't¡­" "I don't care and I don't even think about it" "I just¡­ I'm not embarrassed." "I'm not" "I'm not ashamed and I don't" "I don't want to be straight" "Not now anyway" "I'm happy." "I'm happy being gay" "But?" "It's when I go outside, like, you know¡­" "Just to Jamie's or..." "To Tesco's or to work" "I kind of¡­ it's hard to explain" "It kind of feels like I've got indigestion" "It actually feels exactly like indigestion" "It just makes angry" "You know, that I feel like that because¡­" "Because it's so fucking pathetic" "You know, I'm a grown man and I look at you" "I see you and you can do it and you're amazing" "I just don't understand why I can't" "You know your log thing?" "Yeah" "You're right about people coming out..." "And what their parents say and stuff" "Yeah?" "I just wondered why" "It interests me" "It's like¡­ everyone's got their story" "It's like... a gay rite of passage" "But you don't" "I supposed so" "That's what I thought" "Do you ever think about finding your parents?" "No." "Not really" "Why not?" "I don't really see the point" "You know, I don't think it would" "Change anything" "Why don't I... pretend to be your dad" "And you can come out to me?" "That is so weird" "Just ignore the fact that we just had sex" " I don't think I can ignore the fact that we just had sex" " Try" "OK" "Dad" "I've got something that I ned to tell you" "What's that?" "I'm gay" "Hmm" "I like guys, not girls" "Well" "You know what, son?" "It doesn't matter to me" "I love you just the same" " And guess what?" " What?" "I couldn't be more proud of you..." "Than if you were the first man on the moon" "Good morning" "Made you coffee" "Thanks" "So what you doing today?" "I've got to over to Jamie's house" "There's a party." "It's my goddaughter's birthday, so¡­" "You're a godfather?" "Yeah, yeah" "Not religious, are you?" "No." "They just asked me" "That's very nice" "What time's your train today?" " Why?" " No reason" "Are you going to come and sing to me or something?" "Beg me to stay?" "No." "I don't." "I don't think so" "It's about 4:30." "Don't know" " Glen¡­" " Shh" " Hiya" " Hoya" " Oh you made it" " All right" " Are you all right?" " Yeah." "Yeah" "Come in, then" "You stink of booze" " Do I?" " Yeah" "I'm sorry" "Have a session last night or something?" " Didn't Jamie say anything to you?" " No." "No" "Who wants to play twister?" "Right." "Look who's here, everyone!" "Look who's here" "Hey" "Hi" "Where's the girl, then?" "Lois, look" "Hey, gaps." "All right, missy?" ""Happy birthday to you"." "Go and take it" "What do you say?" "If the commando stands at 10:20, which means player..." "Oh it's too complicated." "Let's do it again" "Has to count either to, either one to ten¡­" "All right." "That's it" "Now go on" "What do you call a girl that sits in the middle of the tennis court?" "I did not know" "Annette" "I've got one." "I've got one" "What goes "ohh"?" "A cow with no lips" "Come on" "What's going on?" "Nothing" "Nothing's going on" "Well, there obviously is" "Are you going to tell me about it or what?" "I feel¡­it feels weird talking to you about it" "I don't know." "Sorry" "Weird?" "We're best mates." "We talk about all kinds of stuff." "Come on" "But we don't talk about this kind of stuff, do we?" "That's not what we do" "I've never spoken to you about this kind of stuff" "Yeah." "I know" "I don't know, Jamie." "I don't know." "It's¡­" "It's stupid, really" "I mean, this guy I met, Glen, you know" "I met him two days ago" "He doesn't know me." "I don't know him" "I met him like two days ago" "Two days is nothing" "I don't know." "I just feel a bit of a twat." "That's all" "I think it's because I'm hung-over and tired and he's gone away¡­" "Oh." "You'll be able to see him when he gets back, won't you?" "Nope." "No, I won't." "He's not coming back" "He's moving to America, so¡­" "That's it" "Well, what time's he leaving?" "Doesn't matter" "No, come on." "What time's he leaving?" "I can run you in the car" "What about cake?" "Don't worry about the fucking cake" " Cathy will go nuts" " So?" "Lois is going to want me around, isn't she?" "I want to be here for Lois." "It's my goddaughter's birthday" "It'll be half an hour" "Come on." "I'll run you in the car" "Fucking knew you'd come" " Did you?" " Such a goddamn romantic" "Looks like it, isn't it" "So, is this our Notting Hill moment?" "You know I've never seen it." "Ever" "Neither have I, but I imagine there's a¡­" "Declaration of love and everybody applauds" "Yeah" "Do you reckon that's what would happen with us?" "Might do." "Could give it a go" "They'd either clap or throw us under a train" "You need to know I'm not, I'm not here to stop your flight" " Please be quiet, please¡­" " No, no, no." "Shh" "I just wanna, I just wanna, just want you to know that¡­" "Fuck" "You're a bastard for coming down here." "Fuck me" "Don't know what the fuck I'm doing" "You'll be great" "You'll have the most amazing time" "Fuck" "Fucking gay boys¡­" "I've got something for you" "Ignore them" "I couldn't remember your surname" "Right, I gotta go" "I don't know" "I can't remember anything" "Just start from the beginning, when you first saw me" "Bittersweet strawberry Marshmallow butterscotch" "Polar bear cashew dixieland phosphate chocolate" "My tutti frutti special raspberry Leave it to me" "Three grace scotch lassie cherry smash lemon freeze" "I wanna go to mars" "Where green rivers flow" "And your sweet 16 is waiting for you after the show" "I wanna go to mars" "We'll meet the gold dust twins tonight" "You'll get your heart's desire" "I will meet you under the lights" "Golden champagne juicy grapefruit lucky Monday" "High school football hot fudge buffalo tulip sundae" "Almond caramel frappe pineapple root beer" "Black and white big apple Henry Ford sweetheart maple tea" "I wanna go to mars" "Where green rivers flow" "And your sweet 16 is waiting for you after the show" "I wanna go to mars" "You'll meet the gold dust twins tonight" "You'll get your heart's desire" "I will meet you under the lights"