"¶ I don't want to talk about it ¶" "Meredith:" "On an operating table, a person is at his most vulnerable -- naked, exposed." "I do not need another sister." "Get out." "I mean, she's a lying liar." "I would know if my mother were pregnant when I was 5." "My mother was not pregnant when I was 5." "Get out." "She's, like, psycho, like a stalker." "I'm being stalked." "Alex, this is criminal." "I mean, you -- what's your problem?" "Get out!" "I'm naked here!" "Okay, so what?" "I've seen it before!" "No big deal!" "I'm in crisis!" "Okay, fine." "It's -- your junk is spectacular." "Jo is a very lucky girl." "Can we get back to me now?" "Why are you making that face?" "Mer, I realize that I said I would take over as your person." "Maybe that means I have to buy your tampons and act like your husband's hair is special and crap." "But I have a very important presentation to make to the board today to get a job, which I need because I got fired by Dr. butthole!" "I have been practicing all night." "I am sleep-deprived." "I need to shower -- alone -- and focus!" "You didn't even hear what I said!" "No." "And I don't care." "The new cardio chief thinks she's my biological sister." "She what?" "Wait." "What?" "!" "That's insane." "Thank you." "He's in the shower, and she's in the bathroom with him while he's in the shower." "So, go in there with them." "[ Chuckling ] No!" "I am not going in there." "You're the girlfriend." "No." "Yeah, I am, but I'm not." "They're this little team together." "They are war buddies, and I don't fit." "And then they look at me -- well, she looks at me -- like I'm just the stupid, naked girl in Alex's bed." "So go be the stupid, naked girl in Alex's shower." "I am a doctor." "I am a surgeon." "I deserve respect." "You're a girl in her pajamas with her ear to the door of a bathroom." "How much respect can anyone give you right now?" "She stole my Alex." "You know what?" "I miss Cristina Yang." "When Cristina Yang was here, nobody stole my Alex." "Oh, my God." "You're scared of Meredith Grey." "[ Gasps ] No, I'm not." "Are you?" "No." "Hey." "Hi, Dr. Grey." "Tell Alex I'll be downstairs." "And if anybody asks you, I am sick." "¶ I've tried to make the best of things ¶ skin is not a very tough armor." "It's soft, easily broken." "Callie:" "Okay, I'm only here to give a speech on residual limb health, and that is it." "That is it." "Uh, yeah, I got to pull back, okay?" "We have a kid." "Arizona is starting a fellowship." "We're trying to have another kid." "I am stretched out far too thin." "I completely understand." "I said no already." "I know that." "You're just gonna meet a couple guys." "Come on." "[ Indistinct conversations ]" "[ Sighs ] Navy seals, green berets, army rangers." "Wounded warriors from the most badass specialized ops forces in the U.S. military." "But... [ sighs ]" "You're too busy to help our nation's heroes, so..." "I do not like you." "[ Chuckles ]" "Then I directed the rfa needle to where the blood supply entered the abnormal parabiotic tissue mass." "To interrupt the blood flow to the abnormal fetus." "Yes." "Then I removed excess amniotic fluid." "Nice." "And then she delivered full-term?" "She did -- months after I completed the operation that I'm telling you about." "Why are you not taking notes?" "Oh." "Sorry." "I thought we were just, you know, talking." "[ Chuckles ] And I thought you were my fellow." "I am -- completely." "[ Chuckling ] No, I'm so excited to be your fellow." "I just need a little -- little time to get up to speed, you know, like four three -- three weeks." "Yeah, 'cause I have a lot of cases on my " "Dr. Robbins, for the purposes of this fellowship, we are not peers." "And four weeks is 10% of the average gestational age." "In that amount of time, a fetus's lungs become a fully functioning organ." "Everything in utero happens at hyper speed." "And the sooner you get up to that speed, the better." "Get a notepad." "Avery, um, I've got a backlog of some cases." "Amy's doing a great job, but there's some stuff I got to get on top of." "So, you need help?" "I need you to reschedule this meeting for tonight." "No." "Oh, are we rescheduling the meeting?" "Oh, thank God, because Callie and I have an appointment tonight, and apparently, I've already started my fellowship." "We are not rescheduling the meeting." "Tomorrow work for you?" "No, tomorrow's bad." "Um, Thursday?" "Listen to me speak, all right?" "We are voting on a new member of the board." "It's happening tonight." "Understood?" "Amelia:" "Derek!" "Derek, why is there suddenly an order for carbamazepine in Eric Schneider's chart?" "He needed a good anti-convulsant." "And I had already written him one for valproic acid." "You can't go around writing orders on my patients." "I'm doing my job." "No, you are doing my job." "I am chief of neurosurgery." "If you have a problem with that, you should take it up with the board." "Until then, I will call you when I need you." "[ Elevator bell dings ]" "What happened to the two diverting loop ileostomies" "I had today?" "You're welcome." "No, I-I-I rearranged your cases so you had the easiest day possible." "You are going up against Karev, so I figured you'd want plenty of time to practice your board presentation." "I don't need to practice." "I need my schedule back the way it was." "You sure, though?" "Karev's pretty tight with some board members." "So am I." "Well, Meredith Grey was in the bathroom with Karev this morning." "Well, not that tight." "That's what I'm saying." "Look, Edwards... [ sighs ]" "I am going to walk in there and tell the truth." "I deserve this." "And if any one of them has the misguided impression that there is any choice at all in this matter," "I will set that person on the righteous path before he or she can reveal him-or herself as a moron." "[ Cellphone chimes, vibrates ]" "Oh." "Pileup on I-5." "Trauma coming in." "Why are they paging me?" "Isn't Grey on the pit today?" "She's sick." "If my mother were pregnant, I would have known." "Adoption agency made a mistake?" "And randomly put the name "Ellis Grey"" "on a birth certificate?" "I don't think so." "Pierce has got to want something." "Maybe she thinks there's money to inherit." "[ Scoffs ] The only thing you inherit in this family is Alzheimer's." "[ Chuckles ] Whoa." "Dark." "Good one, though, huh?" "Yeah." "She's not my sister." "You know who you should ask about this?" "The guy who was banging your mom back then." "I'm not asking Richard Webber." "All I'm saying is, he's got skin in the game." "Disgusting." "He's the only living person who would know if it's true." "Richard Webber is like a second father to me, and if he knew that I had a sister, he would tell me!" "[ Elevator bell dings ]" "[ Elevator doors close ]" "[ Clears throat ]" "Paged to the E.R.?" "Yes." "You?" "Mm-hmm." "[ Exhales deeply ]" "Sounds big." "Mm-hmm." "I told her last night." "Oh." "How'd it go?" "Could have gone better." "[ Elevator bell dings ]" "[ Indistinct shouting ]" "What the hell is this?" "What's going on?" "37-year-old male rear-ended a lumber truck." "April:" "Anyone who is not treating this patient, please move out of the way." "Bailey:" "Hey, hey, hey!" "You heard the woman!" "This is not a spectacle for your amusement." "Maggie:" "Holy -- cool!" "Edwards!" "I'm sorry." "[ Siren wailing in distance ]" "[ Camera shutters clicking ]" "Man:" "Get a close-up!" "[ Camera shutter clicks ]" "Okay, we need to get this man on his back in less than 60 seconds." "Got to work faster." "One more inch to the right, he'd be d.O.A." "How you want to proceed?" "Ultrasound's negative for fluid around the heart, so I would do a laparotomy." "Yeah?" "[ Coughing ] [ Monitors beeping rapidly ]" "His airway is compromised." "He needs a chest tube and intubation now." "Yeah, we're almost done here, okay?" "It'll be safer on his back." "No, there's no time." "I'll have to go in nasally." "7-0 e.T. Tube?" "Charlie, I hate to tell you this, but your day is actually about to get a little worse." "Hold the work!" "Hold on, Charlie." "Hold on." "All right." "Almost there." "Okay." "[ Charlie groaning ]" "Okay, push 100 of propofol, please." "[ Saw whirring ]" "[ Beeping stops ]" "Well done, doctor." "Sorry?" "I said very good!" "[ Whirring stops ]" "Uh, okay." "He's clear." "On his back on my count." "One... two... and three." "You want to give me a robot leg, like the Terminator?" "[ Chuckles ] Robotic, more like the six-million-dollar man." "Uh, actually, it costs a little more than that." "But the project is fully funded, all expenses paid." "The leg will be free." "A free six-million-dollar robot leg?" "[ Chuckles ] Listen." "I've been through three prosthetic legs." "Each one hurt more than the last." "Why is this so -- well, the leg is entirely painless." "[ Chuckles ] Free, pain-free robot leg?" "Sounds made up." "[ Chuckles ] It was made up -- by Dr. Torres." "It is cutting-edge technology." "Dr. Torres is a genius." "You'll be amazed at this -- [ chuckling ] Okay, let's just slow down for a minute." "We still have to run a number of tests to make sure you're even a candidate for the study." "[ Clears throat ]" "But, again, the program is fully funded." "Unbelievable." "Major hunt was right." "He's been going on and on about you." "[ Chuckles ] Yeah, I bet." "[ Sighs ]" "I told him how busy I am." "He knows." "He knows my plate is full." "He just doesn't care." "I am an attending with an entire service of my own." "Herman and I have shared dozens of patients before." "Oh, and now he's just bringing this guy to my lab, right?" "Like I'm gonna say no to a guy who gave up his leg for our country." "She has me reviewing journals and doing skills labs." "I have a case report that's due by 4:00." "I'm sorry." "Excuse me." "I have a neuroblastoma to remove at 4:00." "Wait." "Is this your way of telling me that you're canceling our meeting with the surrogacy agency tonight?" "What?" "No!" "W-- no, I will -- I will figure that out." "Okay." "I just..." "[ Sighs ] Say something to help me." "You own a hospital." "You are a raising a beautiful girl." "You save babies." "You're gonna save more, right?" "You can do this, too." "If anyone can, you can." "[ Cellphone rings ] Oh." "Oh." "Okay." "Um, listen, I will meet you at the agency with a smile on my face." "And we will get ourselves a new baby." "[ Chuckles ] Yeah." "A.B.C.'S intact." "I need to assess his gcs." "If you'd be quiet, he's trying to talk now." "Sir, can you tell me your name?" "What's your name?" "Steve." "Forget your helmet today, Steve?" "Aah." "It hurts." "I'm giving you something for the pain." "You might start to feel sleepy now." "It's a depressed skull fracture." "It is pretty deep." "We're gonna need a C.T." "And because of the position, probably an angio." "I can make that decision if you'll give me room to look." "Amy, I don't think he's gonna make it, and it's gonna get ugly, so let me do it." "Ah." "Because only you can save him now." "Screw you." "I've got him." "Maybe you can both take him -- like a team, or a family." "I have him." "Kepner, you'll assist." "Let's take him up to C.T." "The African outreach program has given 34 kids excellent outcomes and a chance they never would have had." "And it gave me something, too." "Starting that program gave me a sense of ownership and a -- and a level of passion that I didn't know I could have." "I have this passion for this hospital." "I look forward to -- mer." "Huh?" "Yeah, it's great." "You're gonna vote on this." "I don't want to blow this." "And it's Bailey." "Bailey did deliver my baby and save my life." "What have you ever done?" "Why aren't you at your own house, drinking and having bitch baby tears about your fake sister with your husband?" "Derek doesn't know." "He doesn't know?" "I can't talk to him right now." "Oh, come on." "He gave up the job in D.C." "He's staying, and you're still mad?" "You won." "No." "I never asked him to stay." "This wasn't a compromise." "I didn't win." "He forfeited, so we both lost." "So you're not talking to him?" "He's walking around like he's a martyr, waiting for me to be grateful." "I am not grateful." "My career is just as important as his!" "I'm the sun." "I'm the sun." "And he can go suck it!" "I'm the sun." "All right." "We're done." "Hey!" "You can sit here and get drunk and then vomit and cry, and I can never get any prep for my presentation done, or we can do something about this." "You want to do something about this?" "Jeff:" "It's so light." "[ Chuckles ]" "It's a 100% titanium body and 13 sensors." "But before we can get you in a leg like this, we need your muscles and nerves to interface with the sensors." "So, this electromyogram will show spikes when your muscles contract and then go flat when they rest, okay?" "All right." "Go ahead and flex for me, Jeff." "When this is done, I get to keep it?" "Well, it's all funded, including follow-up, so..." "Yes. [ Chuckles ]" "Sorry." "I-I know how that sounds." "It's just, all I wanted was to be a ranger, you know?" "I still dream about it all the time -- pack on my back, running, my team." "Then I wake up and get out of bed." "I try to stand, and I forget about it." "So, you know, when you say "free robot leg,"" "I think I'm still dreaming of running with the guys." "Jeff, are you still flexing?" "Yeah." "Can I take a picture of it?" "Yeah." "My mom is gonna freak." "[ Camera shutter clicks ]" "Jeff, flex harder for me." "What?" "I should be seeing readings." "What -- what's going on?" "Uh, w-we're just having trouble with the e.M.G." "No, no. [ Chuckles ] It's not the e.M.G." "Jeff, I'm " " Dr. Torres, can I talk to you for a moment?" "Excuse us, Jeff." "That was inappropriate." "Inappropriate?" "You were about to reject him from the study." "Yes." "You saw those readings." "Look, the way his amputation was performed, there's no way this will work." "Okay, it's a crappy amputation, Owen." "Probably because it was done in less-than-ideal circumstances." "He is a soldier, Callie." "I know that, okay?" "I feel bad about that, all right?" "I care about that." "I really do." "You know who doesn't care?" "You know who doesn't give a damn about his service?" "The robot leg." "All the robot cares about is that the nerves in his leg aren't communicating with his muscles, which means they can't communicate with the sensors in the prosthesis, which means the robot leg won't work." "Then you can find a way to help him." "Just -- just figure it out." "I'm sorry." "Are you not listening to me, Owen?" "Are you deliberately being obtuse?" "I just told you his nerves -- just fix it." "Just get back in there " "I just told you I can't!" "Fix it!" "That is an order!" "[ Chuckling ] Oh, an order?" "Who -- who are you -- general patton?" "I'm your chief of surgery." "On the surgical floor, you are my chief." "In my lab, funded by the money that I procured, I am in charge!" "Are we clear?" "!" "No, you don't get these guys' hopes up and then leave them with nothing!" "No, no, no." "No, I didn't do that, Owen." "You did that." "You're the one out there running your mouth at the rehab center about "free, pain-free six-million-dollar man robot legs!"" "I'm about to go in there and crush his dreams because of you!" "[ Sighs ]" "Richard:" "We're gonna pull on my count." "We ready?" "One..." "Two..." "Three." "Easy." "Easy." "[ Monitors beeping ]" "Okay, Kelly clamp." "Bailey:" "Apply pressure." "Stephanie:" "Got it." "Richard:" "More suction." "I need to see or feel." "Okay." "Whoa." "That's got to be the fastest splenectomy I've ever seen." "Yeah, this isn't my first rodeo." "I'm hope I'm that fast someday." "You will be." "In about 4,000 rodeos." "[ Chuckles ]" "¶ Okay, so, you just ¶" "¶ go around breaking hearts just to see... ¶ so, I hear you and hunt had a little episode in the hallway." "[ Scoffs ] He told on me." "You can write me up all you want for insubordination, but I stand by the fact that I do not take orders regarding my own lab." "And hunt can kiss my " "I'm not asking you to take orders in your own lab." "What I'm asking is maybe that you not have a screaming match in the middle of the hallways of the hospital, because when members of the board cause a scene," "I have to stop practicing medicine, which I love doing, and become a hall monitor, which I don't really love doing." "I got to come down here and lecture you about responsibility and honor and crap I really don't want to be lecturing you about." "You know, I'm down to three procedures a day, okay?" "If I'm lucky." "Not even long procedures." "I'm sucking fat, lifting boobs, butts." "Butt implants are huge." "[ Sighs ] I just want a good, intense, smart surgery." "You know, like, uh, the ones where your feet hurt, when your feet hurt because you've been on them for hours." "Or your mind hurts because you've had to improvise and paint -- surgeries of joy." "But no, I can't have those, 'cause I run the board." "Hmm." "Grey calls in sick." "Your wife tries to give up peds surgery on me." "And boy Shepherd's in a pissing match with girl Shepherd, which they won't admit." "And Yang screws us with Bailey versus Karev." "And I think Richard has the hots for the new cardio God," "Maggie or whatever?" "Which is gross, 'cause she is 12." "So, now you and hunt are running around screaming at each other?" "I don't get to be a surgeon." "I'm a hall monitor." "I will stop screaming in the hallways." "[ Tool clatters ]" "[ Sighs ]" "All right, what's wrong?" "Hunt's got this bug up his butt about a candidate for my robotic limb project, and... as much as he wants it to happen, those nerves are not communicating with those muscles, and there's -- there's nothing I can do about it." "I can." "Targeted muscle reinnervation." "I create an alternate traffic route for the nerve signals." "It's like, um, if there's construction on the highway, you pick a side street, right?" "I can dissect a nerve at its current location..." "Uh-huh... and rewire it wherever you need it." "Connection established." "[ Chuckles ]" "You are wasted as a hall monitor." "I know!" "[ Laughs ]" "Well..." "I am done here." "Lung crisis averted." "Okay." "Partial gastrectomy and splenectomy done." "We can start the diaphragm repair." "This was, I have to say, the most fun I have had since I got here." "Well, you've done some very good work." "Me?" "You -- that was amazing." "What was that -- a-a 15-second splenectomy?" "Well, 20." "18." "I might have stolen a peek at the clock." "Well, it was inspiring." "I'm glad I was here." "Thank you all." "I will check on him in post-op." "Bailey:" "The bowels seem to be intact, but we're gonna run it again just to be sure." "Bailey, you have this?" "Indeed, we do." "¶ We'll never, never, never, never know ¶" "¶ we'll never know, we'll never know, no good ¶" "¶ we'll never know, know ¶" "¶ we'll never know, we'll never know, no good ¶" "¶ we will never know ¶" "I need your username and password." "This is illegal." "We're just logging into the hospital system." "To get Maggie Pierce's personnel file to get her date of birth, which is illegal." "Yeah, so is pretending to be someone you're not." "Now, put in your password." "Once we figure out when she was born, there's got to be something we can use to prove that your mom wasn't pregnant at the time -- you know, photos or a video or something." "You can call Pierce's bluff." "You're a very different person than Cristina." "Cristina and I would just be dancing by now." "Yeah." "I know." "Here we go." "Look at that." "Pierce's birthday -- November 22, 1983." "So, basically, your mom would have been knocked up around, uh... spring of '83." "What was going on in the spring of '83?" "What?" "That's when she tried to kill herself." "So, that's done." "Maybe you want to practice your speech on me." "Or maybe I want to focus on making sure Mr. hays is stable post-op." "But Karev -- okay, Edwards, I am afraid of snakes." "I'm afraid of large spiders." "And while it might not be rational," "I am occasionally afraid there might be a shark waiting for me in a public swimming pool." "Why would there be a shark waiting for you " " I said it wasn't rational." "I am afraid of those things." "What I am not afraid of is Alex Karev." "You shouldn't be." "You should be afraid of everyone else." "Say more." "Alex Karev is the closest thing Meredith Grey has to a brother." "He lives in her old house." "He started a program that brought a daughter into her life." "Robbins is Karev's mentor." "Torres is married to Robbins." "So whoo!" "Team Karev." "Jackson Avery -- friend of Alex Karev." "We used to double-date." "Speaking of which, Avery has a history of making wrong choices." "[ Sighs ]" "Oh." "Hey, Dr. Herman." "Sorry I don't have that case report in to you yet." "I've got this neuroblastoma on this baby, and the mom got really overreactive, and so I-I had to reassure her." "Dr. Robbins, in fetal surgery, every patient you treat will come encased in a mother -- a mother whose heightened state of concern is a biological and evolutionary necessity." "If you lack the basic skills to -- no, I don't." "I don't." "No." "No." "Huh-unh. [ Chuckles ]" "Moms are kind of like my thing." "I'm great with moms." "I actually teach other people how to be great with moms." "Yeah, no, you can ask anyone." "I need your start paperwork." "Right." "I just need to get caught up on that." "[ Sighs ]" "I am great with moms!" "I know!" "It was right after that she moved us to Boston." "I mean, I was 5." "All my memories of Boston are so hazy." "Do you remember your mom getting suddenly fat, then suddenly not fat?" "Alex, that whole time was just a blur." "Everything that happened after she tried to kill herself was just a blur for me." "I don't want to talk about this anymore." "Let's just keep working on your speech." "I'm not working on my speech." "I'm going through the emergency-room admits for Seattle grace in June of 1983." "What?" "How?" "We computerized this like two years ago." "How are you on the board and I'm not?" "Wait." "Right there." "There it is." "Well, don't click on it, because I'm not " "I'm not sure I'm ready to see this." "Are you ever ready for this stuff?" ""Patient admitted with wrist lacerations and loss of blood."" "Scroll down." "Scroll down." "Beta-hcg came back positive." "She was pregnant." "Look in the notes." ""Advised patient of pregnancy." "Patient was unaware of pregnancy when admitted."" "She's my sister." "I owe you an apology. [ Sighs ]" "Were you going to give me one, or is this just a heads-up?" "[ Scoffs ]" "I'm sorry, okay?" "We're okay?" "No!" "N-- come back here!" "Come back and say a bunch of crap to make me understand why you were yelling at me and giving me orders and generally being a big old ass." "No, we're not okay." "¶ What if I said I would break your heart?" "¶" "I need something to be..." "Good." "To..." "I need something to feel right." "Okay, I'm not depressed." "I'm not -- my heart is not broken." "I'm not grieving." "She's not dead." "She's out there." "[ Sighs ] She's living out her dreams, and I know -- I know she's happy, and that makes me feel proud for her." "[ Sighs ]" "But there is this other feeling that doesn't completely feel fair or right or good." "She goes on, day in and day out, happy, without me." "But every morning, I wake up, and there's this pit, this..." "[ Sighs ] Feeling here that..." "Maybe my dreams are over." "Maybe -- maybe I had my dreams and they're over now." "And I'm gonna be this single guy." "No wife, no kids, no family." "She was my family." "Hmm." "And now she's someplace else, and I let her go, and..." "It's good that I did." "I mean, it's better -- for her." "But for me..." "So I need something to be good." "I need a reason to get up every morning, to not crawl back into that cave that I was in before I met her." "I mean, you know she saved me?" "You were there." "You remember how I was." "I was " " I was..." "Dark." "That war made me dark." "[ Sighs ]" "And that darkness -- it is still in me." "She just lit it up." "So I just thought -- I just thought..." "Maybe to beat back that darkness," "I would -- I would do some good." "I'd just... do something good." "I'd go be with those guys who'd remind me..." "[ Sighs ] I just need something to be good." "That's why I dragged you to that rehab center." "That's why I, um..." "[ Clears throat, sniffles ] ...wanted you to help." "That's why I pushed too hard, and t-that's it." "I'm not gonna talk about it anymore, okay?" "So just -- just say that we're okay, okay?" "Okay." "Great." "Owen?" "For God's sakes, Callie." "No, I just " " I was just gonna ask if you wanted to " "I was just gonna ask if you wanted to watch Jeff's surgery." "Jackson's doing a little targeted muscle reinnervation." "He's moving the nerves to where they can talk to the robot sensors." "[ Chuckles ]" "Want to watch?" "How's our motorcycle guy?" "My motorcycle guy?" "I fixed him, like a boss." "Like your boss, actually." "Amy, you're an excellent surgeon." "You have nothing to prove." "Oh, I know I don't." "But if you try and fight me over the leadership of this department, you will lose." "My résumé will kick your résumé's ass." "I am better than you." "Oh, my God, Derek." "There is no limit to your narcissist-- I have been playing this game longer than you at a much higher level." "That is all there is to it." "[ Chuckles ] Bite me." "[ Sighs deeply ]" "Where did she go?" "Dr. Shepherd?" "I'm Dr. Shepherd." "Yeah, I-I know." "Ms. Dr. Shepherd." "Her post-op c.T.S are back." "Let me see them." "I..." "Shouldn't." "Kepner, I am Dr. Shepherd." "Uh... so, we repaired the subdural bleed, but -- that is a big aneurysm." "Yeah." "It's grown." "It's way bigger than it was before." "Okay, book an O.R. and scrub in." "Okay." "I'll let her know." "No, with me, Kepner." "You're gonna scrub in with me." "[ Chuckling ] It's her patient." "Well, it just got too big for her." "Tell her or don't tell her." "Just prep an O.R. and scrub in." "Okay." "So, now what are you gonna do?" "Go talk to her?" "Well, I called Richard, and he's coming over." "Is that okay?" "Yeah, sure." "It's just, you know..." "We've got this board meeting thing, and I don't want to rush you, but I got to go get ready, and you got to be at this meeting, too." "Alex, you're prepared." "Your speech is great." "Why are you so -- because I want this, mer." "You know?" "I don't just need a job." "Yang thought I could do something bigger, and for the first time, I feel like I can, too." "You know, I-I feel like I should really..." "[ Sighs ] Like I have something to offer." "And I'm scared to death, and I don't want it to go like crap, all right?" "[ Knock on door ]" "Take all the time you need." "[ Footsteps depart ]" "Thank you." "When did you know?" "I found out the night I met Maggie Pierce." "You didn't know?" "Ellis didn't tell you?" "Believe me, don't you think..." "When Pierce asked about your mother," "I felt like I was being hit by a car." "And when she asked about you..." "I..." "When was that?" "The night of the mass casualty -- the mall explosion." "That was a week ago." "So, you knew I had a sister and you had a daughter, and you didn't tell me?" "You didn't tell her." "I tried." "What the hell is wrong with you?" "Don't you think I want to?" "I tried." "I tried again today." "Well, when are you planning on doing it?" "I would have liked to do it 30 years ago!" "I would like to have been a father!" "To know my child!" "To have a say!" "But your mother stole that chance from me." "Gown and glove me." "I don't believe you." "I don't believe you!" "Derek:" "Suction." "Amy, you don't have to scrub in." "I want to be sterile when I come over there and stick that bovie in your eye." "Kepner, move!" "You're on my list." "You have put me in an awful position." "Amy, he never had a good prognosis." "I went endovascularly to fix the aneurysm, but he starting re-bleeding." "I can see that." "Fibrin glue." "Now, why is that suction not working?" "Okay, can somebody change the canister?" "Man:" "Got it." "[ Monitors beeping rapidly ] Amy..." "I see it." "100 of mannitol, 125 of solu-medrol." "He's gonna herniate." "He may not have time to herniate!" "He's in florid d.I.C. He's not clotting anymore." "Knox, check his pupils." "Dr. knox:" "Fixed and dilated." "There's no gag reflex." "[ Instruments clatter ]" "He's probably already brain-dead." "[ Beeping continues ]" "The next thing I heard, she had moved you to Boston." "She never said a thing to me about being pregnant." "I had no choice in the matter." "I -- she knew, and -- and she left." "I'm sorry." "It's just..." "We had an amazing day today." "And she's someone I'd very much like to know." "So, she came here looking for answers about her biological mother." "You are her answer." "You have to tell her." "Don't make her wait." "I mean, Ellis made the decision for you." "Don't do that to Pierce." "[ Monitor beeping ]" "So, you're re-routing the deep peroneal with the biceps femoris?" "Exactly." "You know, if you made this process part of the initial amputation, you could cut out the second surgery altogether." "Huh." "Yeah." "Add -- what -- 2, 3 minutes to the initial surgery?" "That could make a world of difference." "That's a great idea, actually." "Thanks." "Avery, did I mention that hunt and I are starting a special project with veterans?" "We are?" "We are." "We are taking a chunk of my research money and focusing it on prosthetics for vets -- free, pain-free, right?" "Right." "Right." "That sounds great." "That is good for the hospital." "Good work, guys." "You want in?" "I mean, unless you're too busy with butt implants, hall monitoring." "Yeah, well, I guess you would benefit from having a good plastics guy who knows nerves." "Ew." "Ew." "That was so weak." "Did you see him trying to pretend he already had friends on the playground?" "Yeah, don't pretend that you have friends on the playground." "Aw." "He tried to be cool." "Don't try to be cool." "It's sad." "Don't try to be cool." "Shut up." "[ Laughs ]" "[ Siren walls ]" "Adding on this reinnervation, it revolutionizes the whole thing." "I mean, the potential for control these patients can have is -- is -- [ laughs ] It's incredible." "I mean, I could change the way the world does amputations." "Sounds like you really want to do this." "I-I do." "[ Both laugh ] I do!" "And I know it'll take so much time, and -- and we'll be stretched so, so thin." "But I really think that -- so, wait." "So, are you saying that maybe we should wait on this baby?" "What?" "No." "No, no." "Why would you say that?" "No." "Because you just said it was gonna be too much to juggle." "And you're supposed to say, "it's not a problem." ""You can do it, Callie." "We can do it all."" "You're -- you're supposed to support me the way that I've been supporting you ever since you decided you needed to start this fellowship." "But what if we can't?" "I mean, what if we can't do anything and everything?" "Are you saying you don't want to..." "Are you saying you don't want a baby?" "'Cause, then, w-what are we doing here?" "Why -- why are we meeting with this lady who's gonna help us find someone to help us make a baby if you don't want a baby?" "Don't put words in my mouth." "This was my idea." "I -- yeah, but y-you don't want to carry it, and then I couldn't, and you still didn't want to carry it, and then we find this, and then you find something else to do." "Oh, my God." "It's so obvious." "I can't believe it." "Say it." "Just say the words." "You don't want a baby." "Hi." "35-year-old male admitted status post-ejection from a motorcycle without a helmet." "Head C.T. revealed -- [ sighs ]" "What?" "I'll do the op note if you want." "You gonna steal this part, too?" "Stealing?" "No, I'm just trying to help." "This guy was a lost cause." "Whether he was or wasn't, he was my responsibility, and I didn't need your help, and I don't need any more of your bullying." "Bullying?" "I am trying to be nice." "Look, I get it!" "You were king of all neurosurgeons, right hand to the president." "And now you can't have that, so you need to be king of the hospital and kick around the peons." "You of all people should understand that this was the future of neuroscience." "I mean, this is what we would've dreamt of in med school if we'd thought it was even possible that it could be done." "Then you shouldn't have given it up." "But the least you can do is stop stomping around here punishing people for a choice you made." "I didn't make a choice." "Meredith made a choice and backed me into a corner." "And because I love my kids and I love my wife and I want to do what's best for her " "I do." "I want to give her everything." "But something like this will not come again." "This is it." "This is as high as I go." "I have never taken a step back in my career ever." "I've never felt like this before, and I feel like she forced me." "Okay, well, I know the feeling, because it is happening to me right now." "I'm " " I'm not trying to -- no, I know that you're not trying to, but you are, Derek!" "You are doing it to me." "And Meredith -- you say that you want her to have everything, but not if it interferes with you having your everything." "And it is not fair, and I am saying no, too, because you have to live with the choices you make." "I am trying to." "I am trying." "[ Sniffles ]" "I know." "We're all trying." "[ Sniffles ]" "It's just, no one wants to give up..." "Or give in." "And no one should." "Right?" "[ Monitor beeping ]" "Hey." "Uh, time for the board meeting." "Mm." "Okay." "[ Sighs ] How's our masterpiece doing?" "Good." "He's good." "Great." "You coming?" "Yeah, no, I'm just gonna be a minute." "I'm, um..." "Just reviewing his chart." "Want to make sure everything's perfect since they are gonna be teaching this in med schools." "[ Chuckles ]" "[ Chuckles ] I know, right?" "It's crazy." "Yeah." "Let's go." "I'll make sure that she gets there." "Uh, a-all right, fine." "Don't be late." "Um, a-and actually, the three of us, we should, you know, meet -- get together, talk about timelines, protocol." "Yeah, I'll fill you in on the funding stuff, and we'll figure out a subject pipeline." "Okay." "You okay?" "[ Sniffles ]" "[ Voice breaking ] Yeah." "I just, um..." "[ Whimpers ]" "I need something to be good, too." "[ Sobs ]" "[ Sobs ]" "Okay. [ Clears throat ]" "Ugh." "All right." "How sobby do I look?" "[ Chuckles ] 1 to 10." "Mm... 6." "Uggggh. [ Chuckles ]" "Okay. [ Laughs ]" "So, how'd it go today?" "Did Meredith help you with your speech?" "Uh, not really." "If this doesn't work out, I hear radioshack's hiring." "[ Chuckles ] She must have helped some." "I mean, you guys were at the house together all day." "Yeah, well, she's got a lot of stuff going on." "Do I have pit stains?" "What kind of stuff?" "Oh, nothing." "Don't worry about it." "You sure I look okay?" "Yeah." "You look great." "Dr. Karev." "Dr. Bailey." "I'll tell them you're on your way." "Pierce?" "Hey!" "Dr. Webber!" "Did you check in on our impalement patient?" "He is doing great!" "I need to tell you something." "I should have told you sooner." "Okay." "Ellis Grey and I knew each other -- very well." "We had a relationship -- oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "Stop talking." "It's funny, but that is the first thing I thought when we first spoke and you told me that you'd known my mother." "I thought, "what if it's him?"" "[ Chuckling ] But then you never said anything." "And then days went by, and you still never said anything, so I thought it couldn't possibly be true, because what kind of person would do something like that -- would let me sit there and talk like an idiot" "and never speak up?" "No one decent." "No one honest." "A coward." "The only reason that you would do something like that..." "Is if you'd known about me all along and never wanted me, either." "No." "No, that's not true." "That's not -- why should I believe you?" "Why should I believe a word you say to me?" "!" "Well, this must've been a nightmare for you, me showing up here like this." "Don't worry -- it has been worse for me." "Good night, Dr. Webber." "Meredith:" "Surgeons are bred to be invulnerable." "It's very hard to lay ourselves bare." "Hey." "How are you feeling?" "Hey." "Uh, not great." "Weird day." "You don't have a fever." "You still sick?" "No, I-I wasn't sick." "I-I'm " " I am a little drunk, though." "You're drunk?" "Yes." "I was at Alex's -- okay, Meredith, you got to help me." "I-I-I-I'm trying to understand." "Okay, listen, this crazy thing is happening -- you said you had to stay here to make the most of your career." "Just listen to me." "Wait -- so, I gave up the brain mapping initiative so you can play hooky and get drunk with your friends?" "This is why we're staying in Seattle?" "Because we know exactly how deep some injuries can go." "¶ ...is a waiting game ¶" "but vulnerability isn't the opposite of strength." "It's a necessary part." "¶ What if it only gets colder?" "¶ we have to force ourselves to open up to expose ourselves to offer up everything we have... ¶ What if I never even see you 'cause we're both on a stage?" "¶ ...and just pray that it's good enough." "I'm sure you did fine." "Sure are taking a long time." "Alex?" "¶ ...is a waiting game ¶" "¶ what if I never even see you 'cause we're both on a stage?" "¶ [ sighs ]" "Otherwise..." "We'll never succeed." "¶ I don't want to say your love is a waiting game ¶ congratulations." "I -- wait." "Karev?" "Bailey?" "Wha-- hey!" "There she is." "Hey." "Congratulations." "Bailey:" "Oh, my..."