"I want to apologize." "I would ask that you stop your campaign of false propaganda." "The stuff that DeKaan puts in that water isn't going to show up on your average tests." "Can you find it?" "Yeah, but it's not cheap." "I told the people of Clarksville that I would test their water, and now I need the funds to do it." "She blackmailed you." "I can go to jail if I have to." "I am not letting you go to jail." "I had other relationships." "You're my wife, and I am with you, if you're with meonly me." "The meds are going to help ease the panic attacks, dysphoria." "Ease the panic attacks, dysphoria." "I spoke with a colleague who gave me information about a support group." "My name is Eddie, and I was in a cult." "But I owe my life to Steve and his work, and I will find who hurt him." "What if that man was Cal?" "There's someone among us?" "I rememberl think I was eight or nine," "Steve asked me what I thought The Movement had most to fear." ""Ignorance," I answered." ""No," he replied." ""Complacency."" "Our own complacency." "It's so easy to become fixated on the rungs, both the one you're on now, and the one you're ascending to." "Always, always inside your own head, where you find you can think of nothing but ascension." "It's alt's a kind of tunnel vision, so..." "It's alt's a kind of tunnel vision, so..." "Why are they doing this?" "Did you talk to Cal?" "I saw murder in his eyes." "I've seen that look too many times." "I checked the travel records." "He was here when Steve died." "So he didn't do it with his bare hands." "Sarah asked me to come back." "She needed someone here with Steve's interest at heart." "She needed someone here with Steve's interest at heart." "Is what she's doing now with Steve's interest at heart?" "There's always more space to be filled with with all that The Light has to give us." "And that is why we source." "Have a seat." "How are you today, Oliver?" "Good, sir." "Good, sir." "No need to call me sir." "Nothing to be nervous about, really." "Okay." "Can you go ahead and place your left hand, palm down, on the clear page in front of you?" "Like this?" "That's exactly right." "Do you understand why you're here?" "I think so." "Is it supposed to do this?" "We keep damage stored inside of us." "We keep damage stored inside of us." "It becomes chemicals." "When the right questions are asked, the chemicals mix with our sweat." "The pink tells us that you're holding back." "You need to uncover more, so we can help you... help yourself." "Can you state your name for me?" "Can you state your name for me?" "My name is Eddie Lane." "Um... it's my second time here." "I've been out of my..." "I left my cult, um... six months ago." "And it's been, it's been hard." "You know, I've had panic attacks, um... paranoia." "We've all been there." "We call this the Anomie stage." "You're refocusing from the group mind to the I." "You're refocusing from the group mind to the I." "You're asking who am I." "Yeah, which has been it's been hard." "'Cause I've spent the last, God, almost 20 years knowing what this was all about, you know." "I was going to sleep for what I was waking up for." "You know, I knew what was going to happen when... when I died." "Um, I knew how to raise my kids." "Um, I knew how to raise my kids." "I..." "I had my kids." "And the thing is, I really thought that I was freer that I had even been." "You know, freer..." "I thought I was freer than the rest of the world." "But, you know, now I see the truth." "But, you know, now I see the truth." "It controlled me." "Are you free?" "I don't think so." "Not yet." "Well, what controls you?" "Pornography." "Yeah, that would definitely be my thing." "It's all been like this." "Run of the mill, sex stuff." "Before I came here, I was watching it, like, 16 hours a day." "I told you there's been nothing." "I told you there's been nothing." "If the FBI have someone among us," "I haven't found them yet." "Sarah, um..." "Lisa Jackson would have told you anything to get her tape back." "You weren't there." "She was telling the truth." "And it could be anyone." "Guilt can be very powerful." "Guilt can be very powerful." "Keep looking." "This is just routine." "You can relax." "Man." "So good we do this." "I don't smoke anymore." "I justjust in case." "I don't smoke anymore." "I justjust in case." "It's all good." "This is why we source." ""To uncover that which you hide from yourself."" "It's beautiful." "Now you decide what to do." "You want to put it back under the mattress, or give over." "Completely." "Empty yourself, so that you can be filled with The Truth." "So that you can be filled with The Truth." "Yeah!" "All right, girls, who's next?" "Do you find you can trust people?" "No." "No?" "I'm exmilitary." "I worked in security for years." "Life experience has beaten the trust out of me." "Yeah." "So you, you know all the tactics then." "So you, you know all the tactics then." "To deceive." "That's my job." "It was my job." "Knowing what deception looks like." "Decided to buck the limitations of The Light?" "Chose free will." "Leadership over the "word."" "Let's just say The Light provided." "We received a donation." "We're very grateful." "We've been having trouble finding someone to take on the testing." "Finding someone to take on the testing." "Well, I told Sarah here I'd be glad to do it." "I love to stick it to the man and God, whoever I can who thinks he's above me." "I can offer you 25 grand." "I thought perhaps you'd like to donate the extra cost of your services to the greater good." "The kind of testing you're asking for is timeconsuming and expensive." "The community's trying to pull together extra funds." "If I get my friends and neighbors to throw in their last dimes, how can we be sure you're gonna find what's in the water?" "How can we be sure you're gonna find what's in the water?" "You believe there's something in your water, Mr. Small?" "I know there's something in our water." "What did he do?" "Hey, what's going on?" "I'm his mother." "We have a warrant for Hawk Lane." "What for?" "Breaking and entering," "What for?" "Breaking and entering, vandalism." "They'll explain the charges after booking." "Mom, is this." "You need a lawyer before you say anything." "Okay, listen, I'm gonna be right behind you, okay?" "Mom, what's going on?" "It's gonna be okay." "Everything's ruined." "The fridge is completely broken." "Does he know?" "Does Cal know the baby could be his?" "I don't think so." "I got called in to source today." "How am I not going to tell him everything?" "How am I not going to You can't." "You have to keep everything inside." "But how?" "And why?" "Because we can use it." "Cal doesn't want anyone to know something happened between us." "Cal doesn't want anyone to know something happened between us." "He doesn't want Sarah to know." "I love our life." "I love this house." "We can have more." "Just need to be careful." "Hey, how's it going, sweetheart?" "You can take the bottom bunk." "Hi, I'm Hawk." "He don't talk to us." "'Cause we're white." "I'm Hawk." "Nice to meet you." "Hawk, that's like a bird, Hawk." "You got a cool name." "You got big hair, that's cool hair." "You got big hair, that's cool hair." "So whwhat'd you do to get in here?" "I'm just gonna read... if that's okay." "When can I see my son?" "As soon as his attorney comes out." "Hey, what the hell happened?" "I don't know." "You don't know?" "Our kid's locked up." "No, no, I want a real lawyer, not your cult lawyer." "So that's what you think now, I'm in a cult?" "Sarah, this is bullshit, okay?" "This is our kid." "Okay, I need you to stay calm." "Let me explain what's going on because it isn't good." "Let me explain what's going on because it isn't good." "Are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm okay." "We're gonna get you out of here." "Why would Ms. DeKaan do this?" "I apologized, she said she would drop the charges." "I brought the water in to be tested." "So you put The Movement over your family." "No big surprise." "Stop it, Dad." "I thought I did it under the radar." "I have no idea how she found out." "I'm glad you stood up to her." "No, you don't know what you're talking about." "No, you don't know what you're talking about." "Hawk, you don't want to ruin your life at 16." "Why is he here?" "Because I am your father and someone has to look out for your best interest." "I can look out for my own best interest." "Okay, let's settle down." "This is not a simple situation." "These charges are extreme." "Breaking and entering, vandalism, assault with a deadly weapon." "What weapon?" "And the worst of it is, she somehow was able to pressure the DA into slapping Hawk with a domestic terrorism charge." "What?" "It's a federal offense with huge ramifications." "With huge ramifications." "What a nightmare." "Terrorism?" "You have got to be kidding me." "Falls under ecoterrorism, but it's treated the same as any other kind of terrorism." "The last thing The Movement needs" "I don't care how this affects The Movement." "I care how it affects my son." "DeKaan has friends and influence, but she doesn't have The Light." "My God." "I don't want to be blackmailed." "It's okay." "I can do this." "No, it is not okay, Hawk." "So what happens now?" "Can he come home until the trial?" "Can he come home until the trial?" "He's being detained until they set bail." "When's that?" "We don't have a date yet." "They have 45 hours." "I relistened to our sourcing session this morning, and some of your prior unburdening tapes." "Your baby died." "Your baby died." "I'm sorry." "That must be the most brutal thing in the world." "You have two other young children." "Yes." "Whatwhat if we could reunite you with your family?" "Yes, yes, I'd I'd like that." "I think we can do that." "II think that should be your goal," "II think that should be your goal, your family back together, part of our family." "I have reason to believe there may be someone among us working for the FBI." "No way." "Here?" "No, II don't see that." "No." "No." "I checked your references in security, um..." "You have a tremendous amount of experience." "Yeah." "II'd like you to help us out, Sam." "Yes, of course." "Good." "Good." "Good." "Hi, um, Ms. DeKaan, it's me, Sarah, calling again, and, um, I am very, very sorry." "I know you are angry, but I'm just asking you to please call me back." "I'm..." "I'm begging you, please." "Please just call me." "I can't believe she won't talk it out." "We should go to her house." "Russel and I can drive over there." "No, no, no, Carla said that'll just make things worse." "Hey, you know, kids Guys!" "Kids, please, can you just go upstairs to play?" "Kids, please, can you just go upstairs to play?" "Upstairs, everyone." "Russel, make them play upstairs." "I'm trying." "You okay, sweetie?" "Hey." "You all right?" "Is Hawk in trouble because we've been seeing a Denier?" "What Denier?" "He sees the kids, Mom." "At least he did." "You know, Hawk doesn't see him anymore, but Summer does." "You know, Hawk doesn't see him anymore, but Summer does." "He's her father, Mom." "What happened to your brother" "Gaby, go gentle." "It has nothing to do with you seeing your dad." "This will all be resolved very soon." "And your big brother will be back in his room where he belongs, okay?" "Okay?" "Okay?" "Hey, come here." "I'm sorry, I have to unburden." "Russel never goes against the word, follows all the rules, and she's the Guardian of the Light?" "Follows all the rules, and she's the Guardian of the Light?" "Have some compassion, sweetie." "And keep your mouth shut." "Russel, I want to go home." "Now." "That was good of you..." "the Summer part." "Well, you would think it was good because you're guilty of the same thing Sarah is." "Gaby, you've been accusing me of that for years." "It's just not true." "Just unburden." "I'm not the one who needs to unburden." "I'm not the one who needs to unburden." "I know why Kodiak went to Siberia." "To escape persecution." "It had nothing to do with me." "He wanted to get over you." "He got caught dealing marijuana." "I'm not having this conversation." "I need to because having him here is throwing me off." "I'm with you, Hank." "You I always have been." "Don't let your fears send you down that road again." "Gab Don't lie." "Just don't." "Gab Don't lie." "Just don't." "Don't backpedal." "I am with you." "Okay." " Hey." " Cal." "I came as soon as I heard Hawk was in trouble." "Why didn't you call me?" "Look, I am so scared." "I've called Libby DeKaan a thousand times, and I'm really afraid I messed up." "No, no, no, no, you did not." "You had no way of knowing." "Ms. DeKaan was this kind of a monster." "She's poisoning an entire community." "Of course I should have known." "We will deal with this." "We will deal with this." "Get in the car, Sarah." "We're talking to Libby." "Look, I've called her, all right?" "She won't pick up." "Eddie, we will take care of this." "This is a family matter, Cal." "Sarah, just get in the car." "We're gonna go help Hawk." "Tell me what you need me to do, all right?" "I want to help you take care of this." "I can have him taken away from you, Sarah." "Legally." "This happened on your watch." "Any court of law would agree." "No, he's wrong, Sarah." "No, he's wrong, Sarah." "I have to." "Do you know everything you need to know?" "First thing that pops into your mind." "First thing that pops into your mind." "Even if you don't understand the question." "I know more... than I should know." "All right, how so?" "I know things I shouldn't." "Like I know that becoming a father is making me... feel different." "Different?" "Well, in "The Ladder" it says that family is important, family is important," ""if the individual family in our communities are working, then our larger family is working."" "I'ml'm not sure I'm, I'm following you." "Now that I'm becoming a father," "I have needs for my individual family." "Things me and Mary and the baby need." "Like?" "A new refrigerator for the guest house." "A new refrigerator for the guest house." "Ours is broken, and it's small." "We need a fullsized refrigerator." "Well, II think that'll do, Sean, yeah." "Thank you for coming in." "We are not free." "Even when they unlock the door to this prison, we are still prisoners." "506 deaths in Chicago last year, 96% brown people." "Want to know how many died on Memorial weekend this year?" "63." "63 people on the South Side, brown people, youngest was 16." "A young girl sitting in the car next to her boyfriend." "A young girl sitting in the car next to her boyfriend." "We have a visitor." "Is it okay if I listen?" "What's your book say about it?" "Your little Ladder book." "Yeah, I did my research." "What's your book got to say about what's happening in America?" "It was written in the '70s, so..." "And you think all this shit wasn't happening in the '70s?" "White man who wrote your book left it all out, didn't he?" "No." "Doc acknowledged that we were destroying ourselves with violence and pollution." "He didn't, but the The Light did, and then The Light gave him the message, and he wrote it down." "The Light?" "Everyone is equal in our Movement." "Equal in your Movement, but better than everyone else in the world?" "But better than everyone else in the world?" "Did the guy who wrote your book write it that way so you had an excuse to turn a blind eye?" "I'm in here because I stood up for people outside of our Movement." "People whose water was being poisoned." "And you'll be out of this prison in two days tops, and not because of your book there." "Because that's the way the system works." "You may think you're not a cog in it, but you are." "But you are." "Do you have a plan, Eddie?" "Or are we just gonna sit here all day?" "We're gonna sit here until she comes out of the building." "And then we're gonna talk to her." "I don't know what you're gonna say, she's a tough woman." "No way, that's not That's her." "No way, that's not That's her." "Excuse me, Ms. DeKaan." "Hi, my name is Eddie Lane." "I'm Hawk Lane's father." "Yes, I was very upfront with your wife, and she refused my generosity." "So now you're gonna throw our son in jail for terrorism?" "What are you?" "We will stop everything." "I will withdraw the testing." "I am begging you." "You'll never see us ever again." "Hey, I know my wife put you in a complicated position, but I don't think you want anything else but I don't think you want anything else on your conscience." "It must be so painful that your own son won't talk to you." "Who the fuck do you think you are?" "I will crush you." "But he wants to talk to you now." "Hey, Brendon, here she is." "You called my fucking son?" "You're sick." "You're sick." "You're sick." "You're sick." "Brendon?" "Hello?" "Honey?" "How are you?" "Of course." "You're sadistic." "You know, it's already hard enough to sleep at night." "You know, it's already hard enough to sleep at night." "Locking our kid away isn't gonna make it easier." "How did you know..." "about the son?" "Google." "I just, you know, did a bunch of research and..." "I read that she had a kid." "They got in this big public disagreement." "Now they don't talk." "You know, I just kept thinking to myself that..." "You know, I just kept thinking to myself that..." "I would do anything to get Hawk to want to talk to me again." "Hopefully Libby feels the same way about her kid." "I am so sorry, Eddie." "You know, if I have done anything... to sabotage Hawk's future, I... will never forgive myself." "And Summer..." "And Summer... now she's so confused." "How is she confused?" "Aboutabout why this is happening." "You know, I..." "She's confused." "I'm confused." "Hey, we are not going to let anything bad happen to Hawk." "But it's out of our hands." "All this praying and looking to The Light, and looking to The Light, it's not gonna help us." "Hey." "You are strong, okay." "And we are going to get through this." "Cal." "Cal." "I won't be blackmailed." "Yes, you will." "Is... is the baby mine?" "Or could he be mine?" "Or could he be mine?" "Yes." "What, he's mine, or he could be mine?" "I don't know." "That's the truth." "But it could be yours." "Big breath out for me." "Well, I cannot find anything wrong." "Really?" "'Cause, you know, my heart all of a sudden will just start beating fast." "Well, you can go into town for an EKG to be sure." "But you know what I think?" "What's that?" "All that work you're doing in 1R is bringing stuff up, and that stuff can hurt." "Sam, you okay?" "Sam, you okay?" "Hey, yeah." "Seems so." "Well, Shelby couldn't find anything." "Yeah." "I just got this little flutter in my heart." "It's been kind of freaking me out." "I think this one has pink eye again." "Come on back, sweetie." "Let me check." "Listen, I heard about your nephew getting locked up by DeKaan." "I'm really sorry to hear that." "It's truly awful." "I'm really sorry to hear that." "It's truly awful." "Okay, what?" "Nothing, it's just..." "Between us, of course." "Of course." "I just found out that Sarah lets the kids see their father." "Eddie." "It doesn't take a psychology degree to know that's why Hawk acted out in the first place." "Yeah." "You can't lead a double life and think it's not gonna mess with your kids." "What?" "Sam?" "I'm sure Layla is fine." "Let me know how she does, okay?" "Okay." "Find anything?" "Beside the usual incongruities and Transgress." "Lots of Damage and despair." "There's work to be done." "There's work to be done." "Luckily we have some time for you today." "Steve believed the sourcer should be sourced," ""so clarity is ensured."" "What are you really looking for?" "In life?" "By sourcing?" "We're being investigated by the FBI." "They have someone working for them among us, at least that's what Sarah and I believe." "At least that's what Sarah and I believe." "Why would the FBI be investigating us?" "Religious discrimination." "We've done nothing wrong." "Now that I know what to listen for, maybe I can help." "Thanks, Richard." "It probably goes without saying we should keep this quiet from the community." "Of course." "Well, II should..." "Yeah." "See you at the next session." "Wow." "Yeah." "I almost forgot." "You forgot?" "Well, I guess I just tried not to remember." "Well, I guess I just tried not to remember." "I've thought about being back here so many times." "Yeah." "Are you seeing that girl from the hospital?" "Yeah." "Are you and Cal?" "No." "We could never be together like that." "I promise." "I promise." "I'm worried about you." "Hey." "The hospital helped." "Did they put you on medication?" "Yeah." "For anger and depression." "I just..." "I just started seeing things that weren't there." "What kind of things?" "What kind of things?" "My God." "Hey, what is that?" "What?" "I got struck by lightning." "What?" "Yeah." "Why didn't you tell me?" "Are you okay?" "Yeah, it's not come on, it'sit's fine." "It just looks crazy." "The doctors looked at it." "It's okay." "It's fine." "Look, let's just let's just be here." "All right?" "I'm fine." "All right?" "I'm fine." "Let's just stay here." "I just want to feel it." "So what happened with the IRS lady?" "We didn't get what we needed." "Extortion, blackmail." "We, I made an error in judgment, and I think Lisa tipped off the Meyerists." "And now they believe that we have someone on the inside." "Is that bad for us?" "No, actually, in fact, it's a good thing." "I've been asked to help find the mole." "Paranoia makes people do stupid things." "We also learned... that the corruption goes a little bit further than the leader." "It's the entire organization." "Than the leader." "It's the entire organization." "The CoGuardian of The Light is the one that coerced Lisa." "Guardian of The Light?" "Who could believe this shit?" "Well, my wife believes a son was born to a virgin." "Yeah, that's 'cause that actually happened." "Right." "How are you holding up?" "Yeah, I'm fine." "Your family?" "This must be hard on them." "You know, it's, challenging, but... you know, we're okay." "Thanks for asking." "You know, we're okay." "Thanks for asking." "What is it with guys like us?" "What makes us so willing to sacrifice everything?" "Home, family." "Are we just so fucking noble?" "I don't think that it has anything to do with nobility." "What then?" "I just want to win." "Me too." "Let's win this thing." "Let's win this thing." "Let's win this thing." "My intention is to light a flame." "Because the America I live in in devastated by poverty, social neglect, economic abandonment, police brutality, and mass incarceration." "Police brutality, and mass incarceration." "That's why we all in here." "Because the system is designed to take us down and to keep us here." "How'd it go yesterday?" "Talked to Ms. DeKaan." "I don't know if it'll do any good." "I'm out of my mind." "You put Sam Field on ES." "He's in the middle of 1R." "Yeah, he's, he's exmilitary," "Yeah, he's, he's exmilitary, worked in security, his sourcing came out clear." "It seems like, you and Eddie are quite the united front again." "You'd understand if you had a kid." "Yeah." "Steve said, having children compromised one's ability to lead." "You know, you'd always be tempted to put the greater good of an individual over the good of the whole." "Steve was right." "Steve was right." "Was it emotional?" "To see Eddie?" "Did it make you, feel for him?" "No." "Not at all." "All right, guys, you want to make sure that you check under everything." "Cabinets, doors, it's never in the obvious place." "Cabinets, doors, it's never in the obvious place." "I got something here." "What is it?" "That looks like a burner phone." "Shelby, is this yours?" "No." "Could you run and get Cal for me, please?" "I seriously don't know whose phone that is." "I've got a burner phone with federal numbers on it." "Shelby?" "It's not my phone, really." "Are you sure?" "It's really not my phone." "I don't even know what that kind of phone is." "I don't even know what that kind of phone is." "Hey." "Hey." "Hey, what what happened?" "It's nothing." "Where's Mom?" "Look, she, she had a meeting." "Hawk, listen to me." "I know..." "I let you down with me leaving, but..." "I want to make things right with you, okay?" "I want to make things right with you, okay?" "More than anything." "How'd you guys get me out?" "Your mom and I talked to Libby, and..." "Mom dropped the water." "She had to." "And now nothing will change for those people." "It is a losing battle, Hawk." "What, so don't even fight?" "It is not your cause." "It is The Movement's, okay?" "It is not your cause." "It is The Movement's, okay?" "Not yours." "What if I wanted it to be mine?" "You should have let me stay in there." "Betty's at the end." "It was Marshall's favorite cow." "She couldn't even make it back to her stall." "Shh." "It's all right." "Shh." "It's all right." "Steady." "Steady." "That's good." "Steady." "I'm so sorry, Marshall." "I'm afraid I have bad news." "Libby DeKaan had my son arrested, and I have to pull the funding for the water testing." "And I have to pull the funding for the water testing." "I hate it so much, and..." "It's no problem." "I don't need to have the water tested." "I know what's in the fucking water." "That's not what blood looks like." "That's not what blood looks like." "That's poison."