"and for having a bit of faith in us." "And Merry Christmas!" "Merry Christmas!" "Merry Christmas." "Cheers." "And a Happy New Year." "When a man grows old and the tip of his prick turns blue... he can tell us a tale or two." "What did Father Christmas bring?" "I don't believe in him." "I shan't see another Christmas." "I'd shove my head in the gas oven." "Uhhh..." "Mummy!" "Mum!" "What?" "I'm busy!" "Eugh!" "Arnold's dead." "Try and be careful!" "Can I have my room back now Arnold's dead?" "No." "But you can get in this sleeping bag when he's finished with it." "please?" "Eddie!" "you idle monkey!" "' keep your hair on!" "Set?" "'I read it in The Daily Express. ' in the first year." "I should stop you reading that paper." "Bloke in Scarborough hung himself in his sporting goods shop." "but people don't need sporting goods." "aren't they?" "Steve." "Kiss-kiss." "'Uhhhhh... '" "What do you think you're playing at?" "I could have killed you!" "Oi!" "Come here!" "we went to the top of Skidby Windmill and I got badge." "you got "a" badge." "Edward?" "went blue and died." "there has been no communication from him." "all right?" "thank you." "But we've just moved all that in." "isn't it?" "Who is he?" "Some gaga old fart Social Services have sent." "Lost his wife." "Lives in a camper van." "Like Popeye." "Clarence!" "We can get your stuff just how you like." "Take as long as you want." "it is." " "Taxi. "" " You're not playing properly." "Remember your first day at school?" "It's a bit like that." " It is a bit like that." " The first night's the worst." "first few nights." "Be quiet!" "Otherwise the war will start again." "wetting themselves." "People you don't know telling you what to do." " I'm off." " Hey!" "Just give it a go." "This is temporary." "This is only temporary." "OK." "Why doesn't she let him go if he wants to go?" "She should do." "Then I can move back into my old room." "You can move back if you can pay us 50 quid a week." "ghost-hunting 'and the search for life after death." "'The most famous ghost-hunters and their most famous cases... '" "Lilian!" " Your daughter is on the phone." " Mavis?" "Really?" "oh!" "'Did a ghost leave these chilling messages asking for prayers... '" "'What do you think of their chances?" "Who's going to win?" "Phil. '" "What do you want ringing wastefully from Canada?" "A stamp costs hardly nothing!" "Mum!" "I want to watch "Arthur C Clarke"!" "Mum!" "What do you want doing with those?" "Clarence wants to watch "One Man And His Dog"." "He's paying." " You're a naughty girl." " It's about ghosts!" "We're all naughty girls." "ball-bearings!" "dark railway tunnel." "yeah." "It's very important." "It's about recording ghosts!" "He's saying what he does when he wants to hunt them." "come here!" "Would you mind coming here if you're not too busy?" "That's what I said." "Watch the TV upstairs." " You ordered me to come in there." " The TV upstairs is haunted!" "darling!" "dearest." " You didn't come over here last time." " I did." "Why don't you listen?" "love." "Will you sort out the TV for him?" "you've pinched the knives and forks again!" "sir." "Arnold's ghost must have got into it when he died." "Arnold's ghost has better things to do than hanging around in a telly." "ghosts!" "Are you happy?" "'Thermometers to detect sudden fluctuations in temperature. 'one might consider bringing a dog or a cat 'as animals seem to react to supernatural activity." "'Animals also provide much-needed company. '" "'Price's methods were thorough and no nonsense." "he believed it was a matter of time... '" "Dad?" "Can't imagine it's all that different." "'A dog or cat allowed to roam freely." "it's imperative that the entire building be cleared of inhabitants 'to allow the ghost-hunter to work 'in controlled conditions without interruptions. '" "Bastards." "pigeon." "Are you a magician?" "No." "I'm a retired flasher." "This used to be my room until Arnold came." "Who's he when he's at home?" "He's not anybody now." "He's dead." "He died in that bed." "do you think you can inform me?" "Do you think you can bugger off?" "Quack-quack!" "ah!" "Wuh..." "Wuh-wuh-wuh..." " What?" " One out!" "Give me my ball back!" "Wuh-wuh-wuh..." "Come here!" "Come here while I kick you!" "You think they sent me here to be abused?" "Get stuffed!" "This is my house!" "Eddie!" "Get out!" "Clear off!" "you lot!" "come on!" "Never mind making a bid for freedom!" "'It's all clear." "False alarm. ' not toys!" "They were little boys and girls as well once!" "I don't want to live here!" "I want things to be like they were." "I want my room back!" "he'll be sniffing glue out of a plastic bag!" "Lilian." "Edward?" "What do you want to say?" "get yourself off to school." "Tell Mr Kelly you had to go to the dentist." "Idiots!" "Cow!" "Wankerer!" "Mummy!" "Dad!" "Easy way out." "Coward's way out." "a cry for help." "That's all." "Classic." "big ears." "Steve." "How could we let him get to that?" "Poor fella." "We're going to have to cheer this place up a bit." "I'm very sorry for smacking you." "Are you all right?" "Come here." "you know." "I never met my grandparents." "And my mummy and daddy - too far away for us to see them much." "You've got all these old people around with all these amazing stories." "It's a privilege." "At least I think it is." "Do you...?" "love." "It's all right to be sad." "There's no point being scared." "I'm not scared." "I just want to know what happens." " Nurse!" " I thought you might want your stuff." "Draw that curtain round." "And give me my left shoe." " Did you want one?" " No..." "Ta." "Sorry for setting the fire bell off." "Sorry I put a lot of talcum on your floor and that." "Sorry for not saying sorry when you ran me over." "And that time I chucked dirt on your head." "That's an awful lot of things to be sorry for at such a young age." "Sorry." "Are you a magician?" " I gave it up." " Why don't you start again?" "Do me a favour." "When you..." "Did..." "Did you see any kind of bright white light?" "Or a tunnel with Jesus at the end?" "I did." "This cross-eyed little Herbert turned up and yanked me back out." "That's what you should be saying sorry for." "♪That certain night" "♪The night we met" "♪There was magic abroad" "♪In the air" "♪There were angels dining at the Ritz" "♪And a nightingale sang in Berkeley Square... ♪" "Can someone inform me what the hell you think you're playing at?" "I'm stuck up here on my own with nothing to keep my trousers up with!" "Welcome home." "if I want to top myself I can jump out the window!" "'There must be some way we can... '" "'" " They say love will find a way." "Always." " I don't deserve love from you." "'What I deserve is these crippled legs." "And reflect on what I've done... '" "Forget it." "How much did that cost?" "chucklebum." "How much is looking stupid?" "Stevie." "You want to watch where you're going." "Is this your grand passion?" "Yeah." "But I'm not supposed to." "They're all pictures of ghosts." "there was no one there." "Apart from that bloke." "please!" " What?" " What's his problem?" " Who?" "Flash Gordon." "He was in a war." "What about the others?" "Lilian's miserable." "She trumps a lot." "Reg gets drunk." "but now has a plastic leg." "Prudence tears up toilet paper." "Ena thinks she's still the King's housemaid and can't stop stealing stuff." "One out." "Rage..." "Rage against the dying of the light." "♪ The wheels on the bus go round and round round and round" "♪ The wheels on the bus go round and round" "♪ All day long... ♪ don't they?" "Sometimes." "woof woof woof... ♪" "Jesus Christ Almighty!" "♪ All day long All day long" "♪ The babies on the bus go waa-waa-waa" "♪ Waa-waa-waa Waa-waa-waa... ♪" "I can't put the two things together." "Lived on my own." "myself and the missus." "then they think it's a great idea to shove you together with a load of strangers." "And what do the mummies on the bus say?" "Anyone?" "if they've got any sense." "thank you." "Clarence." "hush-hush-hush... ♪" "God." "I know something that would cheer you up." "You've got to be bleeding kidding!" "Have one of your beers." "I want to show you something." "not in the slightest." " I am." " So I gathered." "I'm trying to catch them on tape." "Where are you going?" "There's nothing in it." "It's all bollocks." "it's not." " It is." "only sleeping." "He's gonna be pissed off when he wakes up." "This is going to bring my piles down." "I need a coin." "Now you have to dance around it a hundred times." "Their hand comes out and you can ask it questions." "Come on." "One." "Two." "98..." " What's happening?" " Nothing much." "99... 100." "'There's lots of different ways to contact them." "Séances and Ouija boards. '" "You can stand in front of a mirror then they'll appear." "you have to be dead." "Is that your wife?" "She looks like Dame Edna." "Shut up." "'Now it's good night from me." "'And it's good night from him." "Good night. '" "Good... night!" "sweet ladies." "Thanks for the mystery tour." "I'm not that bothered in the future." "My name's Edward." "Mine's Clarence." "♪ Simply because you're near me but when you're near me" "♪ I'm in the mood for love" "♪ Heaven is in your eyes" "♪Bright as the stars we're under is it any wonder" "♪I'm in the mood for love ♪" "♪Why stop to think of whether" "♪This little dream might fade ♪" "♪We've put our hearts together" "♪Now we are one" "♪I'm not afraid" "♪If there's a cloud above we'll let it But for... ♪" "Annie..." "Annie..." "Annie?" "Annie..." "Annie!" "Annie..." "Annie..." "Annie?" "Annie..." "I'm knocking off." " That's a good idea." "I'm off down The Ship." " Do you mind if I get changed in here?" " In...?" "Did you see "Top of the Pops" last night?" "I don't watch it." "Who was on?" "I..." "I don't watch it neither." " No." "Are you still with Mike or...?" "I packed him in." "so..." " University?" " That's it." " I wish I'd gone sometimes." "I failed my Geography "A" level." "There was another question on the back of the page." "They're bloody slow!" "Do you want a lift?" "if you like." "Great." "I'll just get me jacket on." "Steve!" "What have you got on?" "you know." "'Uhhhh... ' is it?" "Can't you find something more constructive to do?" "Learn a skill?" "I only want to know what happens." "What happens is... is you think the last thought you're ever gonna think and then whatever it was that used to be you... just goes." "it'd be lovely!" "I've got lots of things I'd like to say." "unfortunately." "That's horrible!" "It can't just be black!" "Don't take the piss!" "It can't just be black!" "Are you waiting for someone?" "a little lad." "is he?" "No." "Just a little lad." "Gaylord!" "You don't have to come and get me." "Don't you want a game?" "Nice weather for one." "I don't like football." "I was wondering if you might accompany me on an expedition?" "88.'" "The bulb's broken." "the better." "for those of you... there is absolutely nothing to be fearful of." "Ghosts are very friendly sorts." "They like a nice little chinwag." "But they're very scared of loud noises and sudden movements which is the reason why they're very rarely to be sighted for example." "You shouldn't joke." "It'll make 'em vengeful." "please accept my mortal apologies." "who are we hoping to contact tonight?" "we'll try for anyone." "Is there anybody there?" "Is someone in here?" " Who is it?" " Arnold?" "Someone else?" "Who?" "I think." "Is there life after death?" " What's it like?" " Is it nice?" "Are there any ghosts in this house?" "Oh!" "Are there any nice ghosts in this house that don't want to scare anyone or cause any bother or nothing?" "Yeah." "♪Happy birthday to you dear Edward" "♪Happy birthday to you!" "♪ good morning!" " Good morning." " Do you like it?" " Yeah." "Thanks." "I'm going to have a shave." "please...?" "Thank you." "It's a special and glorious day today." " Yeah." " Canada is a country." "And my big God-bothering girl Mavis is coming from there to see me today!" "With her husband who's got a plate in his head." "little man." "She's 66 years old." "I'm 11!" "isn't she?" "Steve!" " What?" " Come here!" "fantastic" "Someone answer the door!" "Who do you think you are?" "Lord and Lady Aggleshite?" "Tradesman's entrance!" "shake a leg!" " Oh!" " Got her." "mate." " Back to your room!" "Quick sharp!" " Is she dead?" "she's fine." "What's all the fuss about?" "She's had it." "She's only just died!" "Now stop that." "Stop what you're doing!" "She's just in her room with her things." "It's hard to know what to say." "I'm worried this is how the Yorkshire Ripper started." "He won't end up like the Yorkshire Ripper!" "Why are you so bloody morbid?" " Cos I live here!" " We are doing our best!" "We used to go away for the day on my birthday." "It doesn't entitle you to do what you like!" "Oh!" "I heard Lilian's ghost." "It went "uuuuhhhh"." "And I was too thick to turn the tape on." "That's the sound of the air passing over the vocal cords as it comes out the lungs." "it's not." "Can we do another séance?" "The proper reaction is to mourn and celebrate their achievements not stick a microphone up their nose!" "I used to have a room with Paddington Bear wallpaper." "I used to have a beautiful wife and all my own teeth." "buster." "And not always for the better." "You accumulate regrets and they stick to you like old bruises." "Sorry." "Many happy returns of the day." "I'll teach you a few tricks." "I'll do you a magic show." "And you can rub out all of today." "And you can ask your pals." "I don't want a party." "son!" "see?" "Keep it in the knuckles." "Go on." "You're lucky." "You're still flexible." "Go on." "Now make it disappear." "Go on!" "Pick it up." "Start again." "does it?" "Tanya!" "God Almighty!" "Poor bunch of pricks!" "ask him." "Ask him about your party." "Bob." "I don't understand." "It doesn't take five months to pack!" "isn't it?" "then?" "What was she like?" "passive aggressive unkind old asshole." "♪Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye here I go" "♪On my way... ♪" "Tanya's resigned!" "Can you believe that?" " She's what?" " Can I have a party?" "I was a prick." " Where did you pick up that?" " Did she give any details?" " I want a magic show." " You were naughty." " Go on." " Details?" "get off our backs!" "We've got this bloomin' wake." "you and I" "♪Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye!" "♪" "Maybe we should have a wee dance?" "my dear." "not a tear Make it gay... ♪ then." "It'll do you good to have some other kids around." " She must have said why." " I don't know why you're so upset." "It's me who'll cop for the extra work." "don't I?" "sometimes I wish we did go bloody bankrupt!" "you and I" "♪Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye!" "♪" "10 will get you 20." "Money in." "Where is it?" "No." "There she is." "is it?" " No. this is a ladies bike." "It doesn't have a crossbar." "You see she thought she was sitting on the crossbar all the way from Keighley." " But it was his stiffy." " Yep." " Everyone all right?" " Yeah." "Fucking Christians." "You use two panes of very polished glass for Pepper's Ghost." "At an angle like that." "your assistant." " You've had this." " What?" " You've already had this week's money." " I do not believe I have had this week's." "I don't." "ding." " Bugger off!" "It can just be very small-scale." "It could just be me and you." " What could?" " My birthday party." "in case you hadn't twigged." "what's the worst that could happen?" "Kids eat some cake and we lift the grim bloody pallor of mortality for a few glorious moments." "this one." "Got." "Got." "Need." " Oi." " What?" " Have we got PE?" " Of course." "Spastic." "Hey." "Shit!" "Wow!" " Do it again." " The light is on!" "The light is on!" "You've got to flex it between your knuckles." "Don't drop it." "Flex it in your what-nots." "Bleedin' hell." "you know." "Have you been prac..." "Give us your whatsit's doo-dah there." "are you?" "Why do you write so much on your arms?" "Shall we go and get some magical items for your party?" "Dad You'll make a big hole in the yard" "♪Mother's just planted petunias" "♪The weeding and seeding was hard" "Dad" "♪Why don't you give us a break?" "Dad" "♪And there you can jump in the lake!" "♪" "Oops-a-daisy!" "then." "Find some items to make your party go with a swing." "It's funny." "You spend your life accumulating stuff and then you can't find anywhere to put it." "Imagine that." "Imagine all the money I've spent." "All the bloody work I've done." "There." "you know." "She was very artistic." "Very gentle." "We were very happy." " What does this do?" " Tells the time." " Is it magic?" " No." "It's a grandfather clock." "otherwise they'll latch on to you." " What's patter?" " She was very good at that as well." "She helped me write my funny lines." "I met her at Euston Station." "I saw her." "She passed me by." "I went after her." "I had a ten-bob note in my pocket." "You don't see them any more." "They were red. but I think you might have dropped this." "gosh!" "I did." "Thank you." "Yeah." "So I took her to Lyons Corner House." "as it were." "was that." "God." "I haven't the faintest idea why they scrapped 'em." "Tanners and florins and shillings." "You don't know what change you're getting nowadays." "And..." "And..." "Where is this?" "Clarence?" " Patter." " What?" "!" "you're...!" "Clarence!" "I..." "Dad" "♪You'll make a hole in the yard... ♪" "You OK? I used to... and looking up at the stars big university it is." "Universe." "very small." "It's all... shut up shop they don't what-not." "And the whole... bloody thing has ended up on little me." "You can take it to a garage." "What?" "Oh!" "when you die then you come back to life." "you're born again." "Then you die again you come back to life." "Sounds exhausting." "I want to come back as an animal." "A rabbit or a badger." "Or something." " I like badgers." " What's so good about badgers?" "I like badgers because they're bad-tempered and they look good." "And..." "you can make sporrans out of badgers." "you get a chance to put it right again." "Let me tell you a secret." "Being a person is a pain in the arse." "it is!" " Clarence?" " What?" "will you come back and see me?" "Jesus wept!" "Chuck that thing away!" "Chuck it away!" "Chuck my bloody tricks away!" "What did you do that for?" "!" "I'm pissing against the wind." "I'm drenching my mackintosh." "son!" "you can't talk to them! what a difference that would make." "son!" "She divorced me." " Who?" "Annie." "I wouldn't settle down." "I couldn't keep it in my trousers." "I was a good-looking fella." "Then one day I came back home and she'd..." "I got a letter saying that she'd..." "I was too late for her bloody funeral!" "I've never even seen her grave!" "It's hard... to get this far and realise there's absolutely bloody nothing!" " You said you were happy." " Who's happy?" " We could do another séance." " Don't be retarded." "I made it up." " What?" " Sod off!" "I want to be by myself." " Clear your own stuff up!" " I will!" "Badgers are stupid!" "love!" " Coo-ee!" "I'm shoving it up your bum!" "doesn't it?" "No." "I wasn't really thinking about anything very much." "I was thinking about having my dinner." "I mean about life being too short." "All that balls." "Stevie?" "'Kath and I used to have an awful lot of fun." "'It just seems to escape you." "Tanya... '" "Don't go to university." "Stay here." "We could date." " What?" "!" " Do you think I'm attractive?" " Hold your horses!" "I'm 18." " It's fantastic." "I'm 39!" "'Going on bloody geriatric!" "'" "Kidder?" "I'm thinking of doing the Card-Finding Duck." "Go away!" " It takes two people." " Tough titty!" "I don't want any bloody magic!" "has got six marbles." "has got 12. has got four." "What percentage of the bag does each one have?" "Five minutes." "the both of you!" "Manners!" "But it's an old folks' homo!" "what's that smell?" " Eew!" "It's wee!" " No wonder he's a complete weirdo." "♪Happy birthday to you dear Edward" "♪Happy birthday to you!" "♪ before that senile old bat!" "Eileen")" "Did you make that smell?" "Carry on!" "Carry on!" " Let me do it." " No." "I am perfectly capable." "he's out!" "He moved!" " I've been moving since 1917!" "I can't do anything else." "you." "Reg the Hair." "Get up." "Get up!" "Oh!" "Now move." "Can you do your magic show?" "What?" "You sure?" "Have you got any kids?" "' please put your hands together for The Amazing Clarence!" "Thank you." "I'm not the sort of magician who drags you through endless mysteries." "I'm pretty straightforward." "maybe one or two." "any card." "no." "Don't tell me." "Put it back." "I have a friend who will do that for me." "the Card-Finding Duck." "He is going to find your card for you." "Oh!" "Oh!" "quack!" "please?" "You?" "Another volunteer?" "come on." "Who?" "Who?" "no." " They'd sit knitting and eating frogs." " Eugh!" "And watching people having their heads cut off." "A carrot!" "they found that the guillotine was susceptible to the power of raspberries." "They found that if you got enough people... the blade would be diverted from its fatal course." "Which is why I need your help." "OK?" "Let's have a dry run." "OK." "I think we're ready." "Blow!" "Aiiiee!" "Aaaargh!" " I've wrapped it in a bag of peas." " Thank you." "son!" " Let me go!" " Any other medication?" " Yes." "I'm on pills for my..." "I'll be buggered." "Don't put your finger in it!" "One out." "("Pack Up Your Troubles")" "Did you have any?" "It's gone crusty." "eh?" " Let's get the candle lit." " I don't want any!" "Have some cake." " What's the matter?" " I live in an old people's home!" "So do I!" "It's not easy for anybody!" "This'll be the place you send your elderly loved ones to have bits chopped off!" "Eddie!" "I wish he was my dad!" "he's going senile." "Haven't you noticed?" "So you'll just have to settle for Mr Knobhead here." " Why did you say that?" "!" " He'll find out." "not like Lilian." "they take a bit longer." "They fade." " I know what senile is!" " There's Daddy and me." "you are!" "You are!" "You shouldn't get so involved." "What about you?" "Getting involved!" "Tanya." "Don't go to university." "We could date." "'" " Do you think I'm attractive?" " Hold your horses!" "I'm 18." "'" " It's fantastic!" " What are you?" "45?" "I'm 39!" "Going on bloody geriatric!" "Stevie." " I can't support my family." "a terrible husband and nobody but you 'has a single bloody second for me." "Tanya." "'I think I love you." "'I do. '" "'Maybe if you paid me a bit of attention every now and again!" "'What's the bloody problem with getting your head down?" "'Can you not see beyond a pair of tits?" "'" "I have never been unfaithful to you." "Not in 15 years!" "Steve." "you never do anything other than complain!" "'It's exhausting!" "come on!" "'I'm sick of it!" "Go!" "'" " There." " Oh..." "Reggie." " Thank you." "do you?" "No?" "We've got to straighten you out a bit in general." "yes." "Come along." "love." "get up." "I want a talk." "Edward?" "Eddie?" "we went to Edward's birthday party." "There was a wizard who cut an old man's finger off." "It were extremely wicked." "please." "One eighty." " That's a lot of ready cash." " He's my grandad." " Are you?" " Possibly." "There have been many women." "then?" "Come on." "I wanna be where my stuff is." "Come 'ere!" "Oi!" "Come 'ere!" "That was a cheap bloody trick!" "Pull the red thing." " Too late." "We're going." " Pull the whatchamacallit!" "I will if you tell me what it's called." "I know it's red." "What's a divorce like?" " What?" " A divorce." "I should think." "Come on!" " Is it still there?" " What?" " Is it?" " What's the matter?" "Is the..." "Is the ground still there?" "Look - ground!" "Sky!" "Ground!" "Ow!" " Oi!" " Concentrate!" "Any danger of a cup of tea and a pork pie?" "Did I already ask that?" " Thank you." " Stay here." "My name..." "is Clarence Parkinson." "And England is my nation." "My teacher's name is..." "Mr Scott." "And Christ is my salvation." "Clarence!" "Come here!" " That's the same name as my missus." " I know." "Oh." "No..." "Oh..." "God." "Sod off." "Sod off!" "then." "Put them down." "Get it off your..." "Don't!" "Don't." "You..." "You've spoilt them." "Yeah." "ain't I?" "It's all right." "Know what they're gonna say on my gravestone?" "Here lies Clarence B Parkinson." "he effed it up and then he died." "What's your name?" " Eh?" " Edward." "Edward..." "Things aren't exactly as they ought to be." "Have you any idea what it is?" "There's something the matter." "The name on that gravestone is the same name as my wife." "Leave it." "I'm gonna go call my mum." "Today's the first time we've spent more than half an hour with each other without a bloody fogey or shitty arse or liquidised bloody carrots in the way for a year." "Because our kid's run off because he hates us so much because of what we do." "That isn't why." "What we do is good." "Steve." "You asked me to marry you." "We had a baby." "Do you remember how much..." "Do you remember how hard we tried for him?" "Yeah." "That was the journey we decided to make." "And there might be a few less "dates but..." "Sorry." "love." "Just over here." " I thought it was outside." " You come with me." "That's it." "right?" "And obviously your mum and me..." "sometimes..." "I can be a grumpy bum." "love." "It's just..." "Are you not going to live at home?" "I don't know. that you're not absolutely the most important thing in the world to your mum and me." "Do you understand?" "When's he going to die?" "We'll look after him." "Just like we look after everybody." "Edward." "Sometimes you just have to learn to let things go." "I know." "Eh?" " There you are." "Where have you been?" " Go back to sleep." "God help us." "Another woolly one who can't cope." "Annie... pigeon." "That's all I wanted to say." "Just to tell you... that I'm sorry." "love." "If I had my time over again..." "If I had it again..." "Annie..." "I forgive you." "I'll be very sad to see you go." "'You've really made a difference in my life. 'that I'm going to succeed in this and travel through time!" "'It's going to be really hard to wait 30 years to talk to you about this." "Marty." "'I'm really gonna miss you. ' wasn't it?" "That one was magic." "too." "no." "You sure?" " Yeah." "You coming in?" "A couple of minutes can't hurt." "Dad!" " Can I have a word?" " Most assuredly." "With him." "'Getting to be spring again." "'It's October." "er... '..." "large plants you get in the garden." "'" " Trees." " You're not doing that trick right. '" "You've got to give it some patter." "Words." "Why don't you..." "What do you call a man with a paper bag on his head?" "Russell." "Or a license plate on his head?" "Reg." " A man with a car on his head?" " Seatbelt?" "Good lad!" " Can I have my fiver now?" " Your what?" " You said you'd give me a fiver." " What a load of bollocks." "Come in." " Ready for the off?" " Where to?" "Pictures?" "Ta-ta for now." "I was wondering whether you wanted to move back into your old room." "I'm OK where I am." "wasn't he?" "come here." "he scores!" "then!" "Pass it!" "One out!" "then." "old man" "Come on!" "One out!" "look!" "Abracadabra!" "Oh..." "Where are you going?" "Out." " That's all." " You never go out." "aren't they?" "Why do you have to put make-up on?" "Because..." "I don't know." "Makes you feel a bit more human." "You look like a vampire." "big ears" "You look nice!" "Hi." " Are you ready?" " Yeah."