"Warden, where does that fellow with the guitar hang out?" "Down there, at the other end of the prison." " I'd like to see him for a while." " Well, Hart, you know..." "I'm the star boarder of this hotel tonight." "You're supposed to cater to me." "Yes, I know." "But once you leave your cell, according to regulations..." "Oh, you can't be too technical at a time like this." "I can't see that it'd do any harm, Warden." "All right." "But just for a minute, remember." "Hart's the name." "Yeah, I know." "I'm glad to meet you, Hart." "Mine's Poole, Larry Poole." "Much obliged for the music." "You sure tease pretty tunes out of that guitar." "Oh, that's not a guitar." "It's a lute, 13th century lute." "Whatever it is, you sure got it locked." "And you got a swell pair of pipes too." "Many's the time I heard you out there in the yard." "It kind of took my mind off things." "The chaplain tells me you're due out of here next week." "Where do you aim to go?" "Well, it depends on the wind." "You see, with me, when I leave a place..." "I get myself a feather and toss it up... and whichever way the wind blows, that's where I go." "Swell." "Let me toss the feather for you this time." "Here's a letter I want delivered." "It goes to some people named Smith." "They live somewhere around Middletown, New Jersey." "I don't know the address." "That's why I can't mail it." "Well, why do you want me to deliver it?" "Because you're the only guy around here I can trust." "Anybody that can sing sappy, sentimental songs in prison... wouldn't double-cross a guy taking his last walk." "It's mighty important that that letter gets to those people." " Will you deliver it for me?" " Why, I'll be glad to." "Thanks." "Gee, that's a load off my mind." " So long." " So long." "Okay, folks." "Let's go." "Come on, folks." "Six rings for a dime." "A dime, six rings." "Anyone can do it." "Come on, folks, six rings for a dime." "A dime, six rings." "There you are." "Six rings for a dime, folks." "Six rings for a dime." "Step right up and ring 'em and take home a present." "Hold it." " What are you after?" " Them." "Can't be done." "Here." "Hey, what's the idea?" "You see there?" "No can do." " Oh, a wise guy." " Sister, you see that cop over there?" " Run on over and tell him..." " Now, wait a minute, pal." "Them opera glasses must have gotten there by mistake." " Mm-hmm." " Here's your dime back." "My dime?" "Listen, I've been coming here every day since this carnival opened." "I spent lots of dimes!" "Hundreds and millions, and I don't want my dime back!" "I want those opera glasses!" "And those glasses you shall have, unless you want to yell, "Hey, rube."" "Well, if she wants them that bad, why, she can have 'em." "There you are, sister." "Thank the nice man." "Thank you, you crook!" "Gee, aren't they elegant!" "Elegant?" "They're just the last gasp in binoculars, that's all." "Hey, look." "The ground comes way up here." "Look out you don't step on your chin." " What's your name?" " Larry." "What's yours?" "Patricia." "But my intimate friends call me Sarge." "Sarge." "Oh!" "Mind if I call you Sarge?" "No." "You're the most intimate friend I've got." "I'm awfully glad to meet you." "You're not half as glad as I am to meet you." "I've been looking all over for you." "Took me almost three weeks to locate you." "Your name is Smith and you live over here on Railroad Avenue." " How did you know?" " I was by your house this morning." "The people next door told me I'd find you here at the carnival." "They said to look for a little girl with a red feather in her cap." "Said she had on a brown..." "Hey!" "Hey, wait a minute!" "Oh, no, you don't." "I had to check off 165 Smiths to find you, and I ain't gonna lose you now." " Are you a cop?" " Do I look like one?" "Well, are you an installment collector?" " No, I should say not." " Then what do you want?" " I got something for you." " What?" "Hadn't we better tell that to the head of the family?" "Is there somebody else?" "My grandpa." "There's just me and Gramp." "I tell you what we'll do then." "We'll tell your gramp." " If that's okay with you?" " Sure." "And you can stay for lunch." " Gramp's got a nice big ham." " Why, I'd love to." "Oh, I forgot." "Gramp gave me a dime to get a loaf of bread... and I spent it on the rings." "Well, if Gramp can furnish the ham, the least I can do is furnish the bread." "Oops." "I'm flat myself." "Madam, I am temporarily without funds." "That's all right." "We can eat the ham without the bread." "Oh, we'll get pennies enough for bread." " Where?" " From heaven." "On a lonely road or sidewalk" "It doesn't matter where" "I've always felt that I'd walk" "Into my love affair" "And on that perfect day" "I'd say" "The breeze runs after you" "When you're passing by" "It wants to be near" "And so do I" "The willow bows to you" "Forgetting to cry" "It waits for your smile" "And so do I" "All the world's at your command" "What wouldn't it do" "For one look at you" "And I'm that way too" "The rose" "That you caress" "Is willing to die" "It loves you so very much" "And so" "Do I" " Let's do it again!" " Oh, no, Sarge." "You give 'em a little, they throw coins." "Give 'em too much, they throw eggs." " What do you suppose that means?" " Let's find out!" " Patsy!" " Hey, Sarge!" "Wait!" "Come back here." " What's this all about?" " That's just what I want to find out." "Come in." "Don't come close to me." "I have a cold." "Okay, I won't." " Gesundheit." " Thank you." "What were you doing down there in that yard with Patsy?" "Oh, we were serenading the world." "Tell me something." "What made that kid take off like a rabbit when she saw you?" "Guilty conscience." "She's playing hooky." "Bless you." "Say, you know that oil of balsam is good for that." "Never mind oil of balsam or any other kind of oil." "Answer my question." "What makes you so interested about this kid?" "What is it?" "I work for the welfare department, and it's my job... to look after the problem children of this county." "Oh, is Patsy such a problem?" "Problem?" "I've got 20 to look after... and she's more trouble than all the rest put together." " Bless you." " Oh, stop blessing me!" "That child's supposed to be in school, and I find her dancing for pennies!" "What's the matter with that?" "It keeps the kid out in the open, doesn't it?" "Who are you?" "I've never seen you around here anyway." "I'm the last of the troubadours." " If you think this is a joking matter..." " I'm not joking." "Seriously, I'm just a harmless guy, the friend of man." "I envy nobody, and I'm sure nobody envies me." "If I were you, I wouldn't get myself into a temperature over this thing." " It's bad for your cold." " Never mind my cold." " Not too close." " I'm sorry." " Are you related to Patsy?" " No, just a friend of the family." "Do you know that she's in danger of being sent to an orphanage?" "I've been trying to prevent it, but if this goes on, I don't see how I can." "What's wrong with an orphanage?" "I was raised in one." "It didn't hurt me any." " It didn't do you any good." " What's the matter with me?" "If you want my opinion, you seem to be nothing more than a shiftless loafer!" "You seem to be nothing more than a nosey, meddlesome busybody!" "If you'd been raised in an orphanage, you might have learned manners!" "I'm sorry, perhaps I was mistaken." "Perhaps you're not really a loafer, even if you do look like one." "Just what do you do for a living?" "Oh, I eat, drink, sleep, and I mind my own business." "That's a formula I highly recommend, especially the last part." "Well, here's your money back." "Guess you just don't like music." "Oh, say, I hope that cold is nothing trivial." " Hello, Gramp." " Hello." "I see the landlord's been here." "Yes, he came with a couple of men." "They left a little while ago." "Oh, this is Larry, my most intimate friend." " What's your other name?" " Poole." "How do you do?" "I'm sorry I can't invite you inside, but we've been dispossessed." " That's too bad." " That's all right." "The furniture don't belong to us." "We never have to send it back." "The installment people always come after it." "That's nice of them, isn't it?" "Good to see that you're not put out about being put out." "No." "It happens all the time." "Sure." "We move in one house and stay a while till the landlord puts us out." " We never pay any rent." " Of course that's only temporary." "Pretty soon I expect to come into a regular income of $200 a month." "Quite ample for our simple needs." " Larry's gonna stay for lunch." " Delighted!" "Provided you don't mind dining in the open." "Oh, no, I prefer it." " Won't you sit down?" " Show him the ham." " Ain't it elegant?" " Oh, a dandy." "We won it at a raffle." " Hey, look!" "Miss Sprague!" " Beat it!" "Charming landscape, is it not?" "Patsy's very good at finding such places." "Say, Gramp, tell me something, will you?" "Does the name Hart mean anything to you?" "If you mean the criminal who was recently electrocuted..." " That's the fellow." " His name does mean something to me." "He is the man who killed Patsy's father." "He gave me a letter for you." "Here it is." "A key." "What's it for?" "Read the letter." "No, I haven't my glasses." "Will you read it for me, please?" "Sure." ""You know I never meant to kill Smith." "All the time I was in prison I kept thinking about his family... and how they must have been up against it after I killed him." "So I thought I would leave all I have to the family of this man Smith." "It isn't very much." "Just an old house in New Jersey... that I used to use for a hideout." "I hope it brings you better luck than it brought me.J.C. Hart."" "No." "No, I could never live in a house that belonged to that man." "Why not?" "Probably the only decent thing he ever tried to do." "Let him do it." "Poor fellow's dead now." "Look, you've just been thrown out of your house, haven't you?" "Well, here's another one all set up and ready for you to live in." "Besides, you have to think of Patsy, you know." "Thank you, Mr. Cow." "There's a postscript here on the letter." "Says the house is..." ""on a road off the main highway about five miles out of Middletown."" " Oh, bless my soul, child." " Oh, dear." "Old McDonald had a farm E- l-E-l-O" "And on the farm he had a duck E- l-E-l-O" "With a quack, quack here And a quack, quack there" "Here a quack, there a quack Everywhere a quack, quack" "Old McDonald had a farm E- l-E-l-O" "Oh, Patsy Smith is a pain in the neck E- l-E-l-O" "Yes, she is She is, by heck" "E- l-E-l-O" "With I wanna go here and I won't do that" "And an old feather stuck in her hat" "Patsy Smith is a pain in the neck E- l-E-l-O" " Is that a guitar" " That's a lute" "E- l-E-l-O" "Whatever it is it's sure a beaut E- l-E-l-O" " With a..." " With a..." "Here, and a... there Here a... there a... everywhere a..." "Larry's got a lute E- l-E-l-O" " Hey, I know one." " Is it a good one?" " They seem to like it around here." " Let's hear it." "Old McDonald had a farm E- l-E-l-O" "And on this farm he had a parrot E- l-E-l-O" "With a...and a..." "Did you tear something?" "Sounded bad." "Well, here we are." "Partner, I want to thank you very much for the lift." "That's all right." "Glad of your company." "Gee, mister, you can sure twang on that there guitar." " That ain't no guitar." " It's a lute." "A 13th century lute!" "Well, where's this house now?" "It's up there in those trees." "She's staring you square in the face." "You ain't gonna stay in that house?" " Why not?" " Didn't you know that was haunted?" "Why sure." "We're the ghosts that haunt it." "Come, come, spirits." "Giddyap!" "Maybe we ought to stop over someplace in town tonight." "We can come in the morning." "Oh, hooey." "That Hart probably started this haunted house talk... just to keep people away from the hideaway." "Here." "Hey, Gramp, let me get that." "Okay." "Come on in." "Join the spooks." "Go on, dear." "Well, come on in." "Nothing to be afraid of." "What's the trouble, Sarge?" "I thought you said you were grown up." " I am." " You promised you wouldn't be afraid." "I'm not afraid, only... it's awful lonely in here... and I keep seeing funny things in the dark." " Why don't you close your eyes?" " I do, but it gets worse." "Can I go downstairs with you, Larry?" " What a pest." " Just for a little while." " You know you're a nuisance?" " Please?" "Why did I ever have to run into you, anyhow?" "There you are." "Now stay put." "I'll be right back." "Let's stay up all night, huh?" "I'll get Gramp's chess board, and I'll teach you how to play the game." "No." "What do I want with chess, anyhow?" "I got troubles enough." " What troubles have you got?" " Mostly you." " Me?" " Yeah." "What's the matter with me?" "You were born a female." "That was your first mistake." "All females are troublemakers, one way or another." "They slow you down, and they cramp your style." "Not me." "I'm different." "Oh, no, you're not." "Your friend Miss Sprague told me all about you." "Friend?" "She's the worst enemy I've got in the whole world." "Never mind about that." "You just hop right in here." "Come on." "Gee, this is the first time anybody ever tucked me in bed." " Would you do it for me every night?" " Every night?" "What do you think I'm gonna do, live here?" "We could have an awful lot of fun." "Oh, no." "You've held me up long enough already." " I'm leaving in the morning." " Can I go with you?" "With me?" "I should say not." "I don't carry any excess baggage." "That's the secret of my success." "I won't be any trouble." "Trouble's your middle name." "Anyway, you wouldn't want to leave Gramp, would you?" "Oh, no, but we could take him with us." "Take him with us?" "What are you figuring out for me?" "A cook's tour?" "You just forget about it." "Close those eyes, and go to sleep." "I can't go to sleep." "I'm afraid." "The house is full of ghosts." " Rats." " Where?" "No, no." "There." "Now relax." "You know, Sarge..." "A long time ago" "About a million years BC" "The best things in life" "Absolutely free" "But no one appreciated" "A sky that was always blue" "And no one congratulated" "A moon that was always new" "So it was planned that they would vanish now and then" "And you must pay before you get them back again" "That's what storms were made for" "And you shouldn't be afraid for" "Every time it rains it rains" "Pennies from heaven" "Don't you know each cloud contains" "Pennies from heaven" "You'll find your fortune falling" "All over town" "Be sure that your umbrella" "Is upside down" "Trade them for a package of" "Sunshine and flowers" "If you want the things you love" "You must have showers" "So when you hear it thunder" "Don't run under a tree" "There'll be pennies from heaven" "For you" "And me" "Well, there." "Check." "That means I gotta move my king out of danger, huh?" "Sure." "Young lady, something tells me you're trying to pull a fast one." "If I move my king, you're gonna grab my rook, aren't you?" "Uh-huh." "And I'll have you mated in three moves." "Oh, I guess I'm no good at this game." " Sure, you are!" " Nah." "You just can't learn in a week." "I've played for years, and besides, you don't concentrate." " Yes, I do." " You're thinking of something else." "Nope." "Hey!" "Wait a minute." "Good afternoon." "Patsy seems to have remembered a sudden engagement." "Gee, I'd hate to be somebody that makes children run away all the time." " May I sit down?" " Don't come too close." "I've got a cold." "You better sit there." "How'd you know where we were?" "My own secret service." "Nice of you to take such an interest in me." "I don't take any interest in you, not the slightest." "Then why are you snooping around here?" "Why don't you mind your own business?" "This is my business." "It's my job to look after Patsy... and I'm not letting anyone stop me, least of all a hobo with a guitar." "In the first place, it's not a guitar." "It's a lute." "Here, take a look at it." "It was made in the 13th century, long before we had any nosy social workers." "Probably belonged to some troubadour." "That's me... a troubadour, not a hobo." " What's the difference?" " The difference?" "A hobo begs for his supper, and a troubadour sings for it." " How romantic." " Yes." " You have a nice voice too." " Thank you." " I suppose you eat regularly?" " Mm-hmm." "Sleep regularly, and..." "I know." "Mind your own business." " Right." " Well, so do I. That's why I'm here." "Well, then I'm glad you came." "If you hadn't, I'd have sent for you... because there's something you can do for me." " What?" " You can take this family off my hands." "I ought to be on a boat right now, bound for Venice." "What's Venice got to do with it?" "Plenty." "I've got an idea they understand a guy with a lute over there." "It's too bad that nobody understands you over here." "Do you know what will happen if this family is left to their own devices?" "Oh, I imagine they'll struggle along all right." "Of course if you could convince me that you can support them properly." " Support them?" " Mm-hmm." "Are you married?" "No, I'm sane." "Well, have you anybody at all that you have to take care of?" "Yeah... me... and I'm not picking up anybody else." "You're not gonna stick me with a kid and an old man." "The first time I met you, I said some things that I shouldn't have... so I came here to apologize." "But I see now I was right the first time." "Hey, my lute!" "What's the trouble?" "I thought you were my most intimate friend." "Well, who said I wasn't?" "I heard you tell her that you don't want me." "Well, I had to tell her something to get rid of her, didn't I?" "And I heard you tell her you were gonna leave us." "Why don't you be reasonable?" "Look." "How long do you want me to hang around, and why do you want me to?" "I've fallen in love with you." "When did this happen?" "When you got me these." "And I'll give them to you if you'll only stay." "You're the worst pest I ever ran into." "Come on." "Get outta there." "Alley-oop." "Alley-oop." "That's the old sergeant." "Here are the commitment papers for the Smith child." "Yes, sir." "If they'd been prepared weeks ago, you could have saved considerable trouble." "You're quite right, Mr. Carmichael." "See that the child is taken to the orphanage in the morning." "That's all." "Get me the orphanage." "Come in." " Well, good morning." " Good morning." " I thought you were going to Rome." " Venice." "Oh, yes, of course." "Venice." "Well, I've postponed that, but I've been postponing it all my life... so once more won't hurt." "We have a proposition we want to make." "Won't you be seated?" "You bet." "There's no need to hide." "Move your chair out there." "We have a problem, a situation that confronts a lot of people these days." "We want to be let alone." "That's all we ask of the United States, New Jersey, Union County and you." "If you'll just tell us what you want of us, we'll see what we can do about it." "All I want is to see Patsy properly provided for." "What do you mean, "properly provided for"?" "I mean properly clothed and properly fed... in a home where her schooling won't be neglected... where she won't be subjected to the wrong sort of influence." "Oh." "Meaning me." " If the shoe fits." " It pinches." "Hey, where are you going?" "I won't live with anybody else but you and Gramp!" "And they can't make me!" "Come on back and sit down, or I'll walk out on the whole thing." "As I understand it your chief objection... is neither Gramp nor I is what you'd call regularly or gainfully employed." " Correct." " Well." "If I can show you we're engaged in a going business, would that be all right?" "What kind?" "We went into a little huddle and decided to open a restaurant." "We're gonna call it "The Haunted House Cafe."" " It was my own idea." " Quiet, Patsy." "Now, listen." "The place where we happen to be living has the reputation of being haunted." "So why not take advantage of it?" "We plan to put a lot of signs up and down the state highway." "Yeah." "Signs like skeletons." "And we propose to serve chicken dinners at very reasonable rates." "There will be music and songs provided by Mr. Poole here." "A little floor show." "Have any of you thought of a little thing like capital?" "Oh, we won't need any..." "not for chicken dinners." "I have it all figured out right here." "All we need to start is two chickens." "I mean a hen and a rooster." "When the hen starts laying at the rate of only one egg a day... at the end of the first week we'll have seven eggs." "Those seven eggs in turn will hatch, and at the end of the second cycle... there will be 49 chickens." "Oh, Patsy." "How many chickens will we have in three months at that rate?" " 2,401." " You see?" "It's simply a matter of arithmetic." "There!" "Are you satisfied, Miss Sprague?" "No." "I still say what about capital?" " What for?" " What for!" "Why, for kitchen equipment!" "For pots, pans, knives, forks..." "We're not worrying about finances." "Gramp tells me he's coming into some money." " When?" " In the very near future." "Any day now." "And regular income too." "How much of an income?" "Two hundred dollars a month." "Two hun..." "From what source?" " The Townsend Plan." " The Town..." "Oh, I see." "Well, just for the sake of argument, of course... suppose the Townsend Plan doesn't go into effect until after you've started." " Then what?" " Your attitude is unfair." "Of course we need capital." "Why don't you let me take care of that?" "How?" "Singing in backyards?" "Well, that's my problem." "If we can get away with this thing, is it all right?" "Will you leave us alone?" "Yes." "I'll leave you alone." "As a matter of fact, I'd like very much never to have to see you again." "You'd be surprised how unanimous that is." "Come on, group." "Poor, homeless little chickies." "Looks elegant." "Looks real nice." "I couldn't have done better myself." " Looks effective." " You bet it does." "That'll be $25." "Deliver it, will you, and send me the bill?" " That's cash." " Cash?" " I'll have to paint one myself." " Wait a minute!" "You've got no license ordering signs without you can pay for them." "You're right." "I did wrong." "You keep the sign." "But I don't want it." "I got no use for it." "Well, I do want it." "I've got some use for it." "Say, do you like chicken dinners?" " Well, yes." " That's our out." "Now, the Excelsior Company is putting up $1,500 worth of supplies... in exchange for 25% of our business." "Your estimate for the costumes for the waiter and entertainers is only $1,000." "But we're not asking you to take a cut." "We're gonna give you 25% too." "And it's a grand chance to get in on the ground floor." "Ground floor of what?" "What's your secretary's name?" "Myrtle." "Why?" "Hello, Myrt?" "Don't put any calls through here for ten minutes." "Right." "Tell me, Mr. Arbuthnot, what do you think of the restaurant business?" "Well, people's got to eat." "It's the best business there is." " Good!" "You're in it." " Huh?" "Here it is a week." "There ought to be a couple dozen chickens, and there's only two." " Good morning, Mr. Poole." " Hello, Henry." "Make up your mind?" "Yes, sir, Mr. Poole." "But there's a little trouble." "Trouble?" "Well, speak freely." "You see, I got the boys together... and I told them you wanted us to play the music for you at the restaurant." " That's right." " We'd get ten percent of the business." " And that's where the trouble started." " Don't you think ten percent is enough?" "Yes and no." "Maybe it's enough, and maybe it's too much." "But you see, there's seven men in the band." " That's counting you." " Yeah, that's right." "Counting me." "And none of us knows how to divide up ten percent by seven." "So if you could just only make it seven percent." "Seven percent?" "Henry, it's a deal." "Oh, thank you, Mr. Poole!" "I told them cats you'd do the right thing." "Why, sure!" "I'll see you later." "Yes." "What is the matter with them?" "I don't know." "I've tried everything, including prayer." " Are you Mr. Poole?" " Why?" "I have a telegram for you." " Collect?" " No." "Prepaid." "Well then, I'm Mr. Poole." "Sign right here, please." "Well." " I'll tell you what's wrong." " Yes?" " You see that one there?" " Yeah." "That's a hen." "Yes." "I know." "I know." " See that one over there?" " You mean the rooster?" "That ain't no rooster." "What is it?" "Hey, what's going on here?" "We're supposed to open tomorrow night." "I find you gazing at a hen and a rooster!" " Two hens, Mr. Poole." " Disaster." "We've just discovered there can be no increase in the poultry department." "It's a beautiful time for that to happen." "What about tomorrow night?" "How are we gonna feed customers with only two hens?" "Mr. Poole, when do you have to have them chickens?" "We gotta have them the first thing in the morning!" "First thing in the morning?" "And how many do you say you need?" " Gotta have at least 50." " At least 50." "How many chickens does each man have to get when you need 50 chickens... and you's got seven men?" "Well, if each man got seven chickens, that would be forty-nine." "Forty-nine." "Well, I think we can do it." " You can?" " Yes, sir." "If you do, I'll make it 14% instead of seven." "That's two percent apiece." " Now I know we can do it!" " Swell." "I'll tell you just how we're gonna go about it." " Yeah?" " As it gets dark tonight..." "There's an old deserted mansion" "On an old forgotten road" "Where the better ghosts and goblins always hang out" "One night they threw a party" "In a manner a la mode" "And they cordially invited all the gang out" "At a dark, bewitching hour" "When the fun was loud and hearty" "A notorious wallflower" "Became the life of the party" "The spooks were having their midnight fling" "Merrymaking was in full swing" "They shrieked themselves into a cheerful trance" "When the skeleton in the closet started to dance" "Now a goblin, he giggled with fiendish glee" "A shout rang out from a big banshee" "Amazement was in every ghostly glance" "When the skeleton in the closet" "Started to dance" "Now all the witches were in stitches" "While his steps made rhythmic thumps" "And they nearly dropped their broomsticks" "When he tried to do the bumps" "You never heard such unearthly laughter" "Or such hilarious groans" "When the skeleton in the closet" "Rattled his bones" "Thank you, ladies and gentlemen." "That cat don't want no more of me." "I'm telling you that much." "Look out there." "One and two!" "I made a deal to get my meals free." "See the boss." "I don't pay any checks around here." "I'm one of the owners." "I don't know the art of elocution" "I'm no good at thinking on my feet" "I make no poetic contribution" "Even when you offer me a seat" "I've thrown away expressions one by one" "I'm at a loss" "And something must be done" "When we're in a friendly situation" "My conversation" "May not be smart" "But if we're to have a perfect understanding" "Let's call a heart a heart" "There are words that should be whispered gently" "That's evidently" "The way to start" "If I tell you what my dreams have been demanding" "Let's call a heart a heart" "Can I prove how I yearn" "Just by the turn of a phrase" "Can I keep my control" "When all my soul is ablaze" "Maybe you would call a true confession" "An indiscretion" "On someone's part" "But if I'm to say how madly" "I adore you" "Let's call a heart" "A heart" "And let's call a spade a spade too." "If your menu had any humble pie, I'd eat it." "I was wrong, and I humbly apologize." "There's no doubt about it, the cafe is a tremendous success... and I didn't think you could do it." "Oh, I had to." "You made me do it." "Did you enjoy your dinner?" " Very much." " Music okay?" "Mm-hmm." "It's delightful." " You like the looks of the place?" " Charming." "Look." "If I could show you where we could put this place on a paying basis... so it could provide a comfortable income for Patsy and Gramp... would you be satisfied?" "I'd be more than satisfied." "I'd be awfully happy." "Then everybody'd be happy." " You too?" " Me too." "'Cause then I'd be on my way to Venice." "Why are you so keen about Venice?" "Ah, you wouldn't ask that if you'd ever been there." "It's the most beautiful spot in the world." "Why, Venice has got all the postcards you've ever seen whipped to a frazzle." "You haven't lived until you've floated down the Grand Canal in a gondola... especially on a feast day with the colored lights and the flowers... and the people singing and laughing, and guitars." "You know a great deal about Venice." "Were you by any chance born there?" "No." "I was born in Mukilteo, Washington." "But you've spent a great deal of time in Venice." "No." "I've never been there." "But I wanted to go ever since I was a little sprout... but it looked as though every time I got set to go... something happened and sent me somewhere else." "As, for instance, prison?" "How'd you know about that?" "I checked up." "It was for my own information, of course." "I didn't let them know at the office." "I guess you found out what I was in for, didn't you?" "Smuggling." "Yeah." "That was on account of Venice too." "See, I didn't have enough dough to take passage on a regular ship... so I stowed away on a freighter... and they raided the freighter before they got up anchor." "Turned out to be a smuggling ship." "Judge wouldn't believe me." " I guess you don't either, do you?" " Yes, I do." "You do?" "Well, come here." "What made you do that?" "Oh, I don't know." "I just played an impulse." "I guess I wanted to see what it was like." "It was swell." "Your lips are nice and cool." " You don't mind an audience, do you?" " Not in the least." "Do you mind if I obey an impulse too?" "Not at all." "Good night, Mr. Poole." "Check, sir." "Just skip it, sonny." "I'm one of the big owners of the place." "Say, mister, you better get yourself a new waiter." "I just figured out the checks, and everybody seems to be a partner." "The way it adds up, you've sold 110% of this restaurant!" "I agreed to work here for my tips, and there aren't no tips." "The only paying customer was that dame that just left." "She gimme a dime." "Here, you take it." "You might need it." "And here's your ribs." "Might need those too." "Good-bye." " You Mr. Poole?" " Yeah." "You run this place?" "Well, in a manner of speaking, yes." "Well, where's your license?" "What license?" "Don't you know you need a tavern license... to operate an eatin' place in this county?" "Drat." "Now, how could I have overlooked that?" "Certainly glad you dropped in to remind me." "Just what does one of these licenses cost?" "$100, and you can't start doing business without one." "Well, naturally." "Say, have you got a card you can let me have?" "Thanks." "I'll be down to take care of it first thing in the morning." "Okay." "We open at 9:00." "Oh, now looka here." "You told me you were gonna stay upstairs." "Oh, I just couldn't stay up there." "When I saw Miss Sprague leave, I just had to come down for one little look." " Ain't it an elegant opening night?" " You mean "closing night."" "Sergeant, you see gathered about you tonight... more deadheads than have ever been collected under a single roof." "And they're all in on rain checks." "The headwaiter just quit too." "When our entertainers find out what their percentage is..." "I have an idea they'll also quit." "We got bills up to here." "The tax collector was in to tell me... if we don't get a license, he's gonna close us up." "The license costs $100, and we haven't got a hundred cents." "Gee, what are we gonna do?" "Let's dance." " Madam, you know you dance divinely?" " Thank you." "You dance elegant yourself." "Good evening, gentlemen." "Some nice chicken dinners tonight?" "See?" "What did I tell ya?" "There they are!" "Those are the fellas that stole our chickens!" "Come on!" "Look out!" "The law, gentlemen!" "What's the trouble?" " If you let us have a little while..." " You're breakin' the law as it is." "I'll give you only 24 hours to get that license." "There's no work attached to it whatsoever." "And the pay is incredulous..." "a dollar a second." "Thirty dollars for thirty seconds, twice a day." "Doin' what?" "You know, this guy Devlin I was usin' to do these loop the loops, he was no good." "No." "In fact, he did me a favor when he got cracked up." "We're gonna get a lot of publicity from this accident." "And from now on, we'll do a world of business." "Well, what do you say?" "What do I know about death in the afternoon?" "Don't pay any attention to that." "That's just the billing'." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Oh, hello, Larry." "What?" "Over to the fairgrounds?" "Patsy and me?" "All right." "Yeah, surely." "We'll be right over." "It's Larry." "He wants us to come over to the fairgrounds." "He says it's a surprise." "Come on." "Let's go." "Wait." " Wonder where Larry is." " He doesn't hurry, he'll miss the show." "Gee, that's gettin' higher all the time." " Which one loops the loop?" " The front one." "Okay, I'll ride the back one." " No." "I've got a dummy nailed in there." " A dummy?" "Yes." "Listen, you got nothing to be afraid of." "It's child's play." " Why don't you do it yourself?" " Well, who's gonna make the spiel?" "Grandpa!" "Grandpa, look!" "It's Larry!" "Now, ladies and gentlemen, I take great pleasure in introducing to you... the one and only Dare Devil Devlin... in the most daring act ever conceived by mortal mind... or executed by man born of woman." "He'll thumb his nose, ladies and gentlemen, at the Grim Reaper!" "He will defy death." "The one and only Dare Devil Devlin!" "Are you ready?" " No, can't handle it." " Okay!" "Let her go!" "Larry, are you hurt?" "No, I'm all right, Sarge." "I must've stubbed my toe." "Don't worry, kid." " The hospital expenses are on me." " Please, get some water." "Hey, Gramp!" "Come on in!" "Well, what's the matter?" "What's happened?" "Where's Patsy?" "She's gone." "They've taken her away." "An officer is on his way to the orphanage now with the child." "Yes, Miss Howard, a most troublesome case." " I'm glad it's finally settled." " May I be the first to congratulate you?" "Would you mind explaining why you saw fit... to have a hearing about the Smith child without telling me?" "We decided we didn't need your help in the matter." "This is my case." "You had no right to go over my head." "I'm under the impression that I'm still the head of this bureau." "That may be, but it's no excuse for what you've done." "You took advantage of the fact that Mr. Poole is lying in the hospital... to send that child to an asylum." "It doesn't alter the fact that he's a penniless hobo." "No, he's not." "He's a free soul and lives a free life." "I only wish I had the courage to be like him." "That gal did it." "She took advantage of the fact I'm in the hospital." "And they left instructions not to let you come to the orphanage." " That's part of the court order." " Yeah." " She took care of that too, I suppose." " Oh, my boy, please get back in bed." "Remember, you're still in bandages." "Yes, and that's her fault too." "Everything's her fault!" "Hadn't been for her, I'd be in Venice now havin' the time of my life." "I regret to have to say this to you." "Up to now you've been a faithful and trustworthy worker." "I know." "You're going to give me the air." "I could do with some air." "I never knew till now how stuffy it is in here." "You don't have to run away from me now." " What do you want?" " I want to help you." "Oh, no, you don't." "You hate me." "You've always hated me." "That's why I'm here now." "It's all your fault." "Maybe it's my fault, but it's not because I hate you." "Oh, I wish we could be good friends." " You couldn't be a friend of mine." " Why not?" "Because you don't get along with Larry." "He's the most intimate friend I've got in the world... and you're against him." "No, I'm not." "Mr. Carmichael fired me because I stood up for him." " You did?" " Mm-hmm." "And I had nothing to do with you being sent here." "I didn't even know about it." "Why, you didn't see me at the court hearing, did you?" "Larry always said as soon as he could get rid of you... he's gonna take me and Gramp to Venice." "That's in Italy." "He thought maybe over there they'd leave him alone." "That's the ambition of his life..." "to be let alone." "Do you know the ambition of my life?" "To get you to like me and trust me and not run away every time you see me." " But I..." " Come closer." "I want to tell you something." "Oh, no, real close." "It's a secret." "Promise never to tell a living soul, especially Larry." "Well..." "I like Larry very much." "And I like you too." "I always have." "Oh, Miss Sprague." " Perhaps he's asleep." " I'll see." "Oh, dear!" "Look, Crowbar, you know all the circus people around here." "You round them up to play a benefit at the orphanage." "I'll do the rest." " Mrs. Howard." " Good afternoon." "It was so generous of the carnival people... to come here and give this show for the children." "They're having the time of their lives!" "Why aren't you down in the yard with the rest of the children?" "I wanna stay up here." "The circus people have been kind enough to give a special show for us." " It'll be starting in a few minutes." " I don't care." "The yard's full of clowns and jugglers and acrobats." "Bet there's a cage full of wild animals." "I hope they run loose and kill a few people." "There's a golden chariot and performing pigs... and the fattest woman in the world and the tallest man." "I'm sure you'd have an awfully good time." "How can you have a good time when your heart's breaking?" " Hearts do not break." " That's all you know about it." "I take it, then, you don't intend to come down." "No, I swore I'd never leave this room till they carried me out dead!" "Well, good-bye then." "Every time it rains it rains" "Pennies from heaven" "Don't you know each cloud contains" "Pennies from heaven" "Now listen." "I know you got other things to think about... but can't you find some way to get me out of here?" "Can't you think of something?" " Be sure that your umbrella" " Can't you..." "Is upside down" "Get yourself a package of" "Sunshine and flowers" "If you want the things you love" "You must have showers" "One, two Button your shoe" "Put on your coat and hat" "I play a game like that" "While I'm waiting for you" "Three, four Open the door" "Hurry, for heaven's sake" "I count each step you take" "While I'm waiting for you" "Five, six, my heart does tricks as I picture all your charms" "Seven, eight You're at the gate" "And you walk into my arms" "Oh, nine, ten Kiss me again" "Tell me you get a thrill" "Just as I hope you will" "While I'm waiting for you" "One, two Button up your shoe" "Put on your coat and your hat" "I play a game like that" "While I'm waiting for you" "Three, four, open the door" "Now hurry, dear Hurry, for heaven's sake" "I count each step you take" "While I'm waitin'for you" "Oh, five, six" "Now my heart does tricks as I picture all your charms" "Seven, eight You're at the gate" "And you make me dizzy when you're walking right into my arms" "Nine, ten, kiss me again" "Tell me you get such a thrill" "Just as I hope you will while I'm waitin'for you" " Hi." "Now, here's the plan." " What plan?" " You're checking out of here." " Larry!" "And I thought she was kiddin'." " Who was kidding?" " Susan Sprague." "She promised she'd get me out of here." "Get you out of here?" "If it wasn't for her, you wouldn't be here." "That female Iscariot framed you the moment I turned my back." "That's what I thought." "But she said she didn't have anything to do with it." " She even lost her job because of us." " How do you know?" "She was in to see me, and she told me." " And she said that she..." "Oh." "Oh." " Well, what did she say?" "Well, she made me promise not to tell a living soul, especially you." " Tell me!" "Tell me now!" " Oh, it's nothing important." "It's a secret." "Do you want me to break my word?" "I'll break your neck if you don't tell me." "Come on." "Well, she said she liked you... a lot, an awful lot." "She says the first time she saw you, she fell in love with you." "And the more she saw you the worse it got." " And she said that..." " Now listen." "If you're lying to me, I'm gonna let you stay in this place till you're 108!" "Oh, but I'm not lying, Larry." "I'd never tell a lie." "Now look, here's what we're gonna do." "She ate too much spinach." "Come here." "Come on." "Make it fast." "Come on!" "Five, six... seven, eight... nine, ten." "That's the man." "Susan Sprague's in New York, and that's the place to find Larry Poole." "Come in." " Miss Sprague?" " Yes." " We're from the police department." " What can I do for you?" "Now don't be alarmed." "We just came up to get a little information." " What about?" " We're trying to find a Larry Poole." "Well, what makes you think that I know his whereabouts?" "The last thing he said before he left was that he was gonna look for you." "What do you want him for?" "What are the charges against him?" "Who said there was a charge?" "We wanna have a few words with the man, that's all." "I suppose that anything I say will be used against me." "Not at all." "We got nothin' on you." "It's Larry Poole we're after." "All you've got to do is tell us where he is." "Well, to the best of my information and belief, Mr. Poole is in..." " Venice." " Venice?" "That's in Italy." "Come in." " Here's your laundry." " Thanks." "What's that?" "That's a map of New York City." "What are all those little pins for?" "Oh, that's a long story." "I've got plenty of time." "Well, each one of those little pins represents a backyard." "I'm making sort of a tour of all the backyards in New York City." " What for?" " I'm looking for somebody." " Are you a G-man?" " No." " Who are you looking for?" " A girl." " When you find her, what'll you do?" " Do you have to know?" "But I'd like to know." "You've got me all excited." "Listen, if I tell you, will you keep it to yourself?" "Oh, sure." "If I find that girl, I'm going to get down on my knees... and apologize to her for being such a fool... as to misunderstand her for even a moment." "I'm going to ask her to forgive me." "If you'll excuse me, I've got a lot of backyards to cover today." "The breeze runs after you" "When you're passing by" "It wants to be near" "And so do I" "The willow bows to you" "Forgetting to cry" "It waits for your smile" "And so do I" "All the world's at your command" "What wouldn't it do" "For one look at you" "And I'm" "That way too" "The rose that you caress" "Is willing to die" "It loves you so very much" "And so" "Do I" "Oh, am I glad I found you." " You know I was down to my last pin?" " What pin?" "Wait till I get my breath." "Well, go ahead." "Slap my face." "It was worth it." "Oh, don't be silly." " I've been looking all over for you." " You've been looking for me?" "Gee, I've been looking for you for weeks." "Why, I even put an ad in the personal column." "Larry, you shouldn't be here." "The police are looking for you." " You've got to leave town." " Leave town is right." "I'm not going to eat!" "I'm on a hunger strike!" "I'm not going to eat!" "I'm on a hunger strike!" "I've lost three pounds in the last two days, and I'll be dead soon!" "She's perfectly capable of carrying out her threats." "Mr. Carmichael, I've got my own health to consider." "I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown." "So they found you, Poole." "Yeah, I decided to come on back and take my medicine." "Patricia, come back here." " No." " See?" "That's what I get all the time." "Now, I want this matter settled here and now." "You've got to take this demon out of my institution." "She's disrupted the discipline, tried to set fire to the place... smashed the furniture, broken the windows... and now it's a hunger strike." "And if I don't die of hunger, I'm gonna jump out of the window." "I've written a letter blaming everything on you... and I'm going to mail it to all the newspapers before I kill myself!" "You see!" "You've got to do something about this... even if you have to adopt her yourself." "Me?" "I'd rather resign my job." "Young man... you said you were ready to take your medicine." "It may prove to be bitter medicine, but you've got to help me out." " Help you out?" " Yes, with this brat." "We've had nothing but trouble ever since we sent her to the orphanage." "Shortly after she came there, carnival people put on a show for the children." "She tore open the bass drum and tried to escape in it." "Since then, she's made life miserable for everybody." "She refuses to go with anybody but you." " Couldn't you take her off our hands?" " Well..." "Huh?" "You mean to say that's why you had those cops bring me here?" "I'm terribly sorry, but you see the desperate situation I'm in." "You're the only one in the world who can help." "And there was no other way of finding you." "Well, I guess you boys know the penalties for false arrest." "Who said you were under arrest?" "We were told to find you and bring you here, and we did it." "First, you do everything to put this child in an orphanage, and I'm the goat." "Now you're doing everything under the sun to have her... taken out of the orphanage, and I'm still the goat." "Looks to me like I'm "Joe Goat" around here." "Why should I do anything for you?" "It isn't for me." "I'm only acting in the best interest of Patricia here... this poor little motherless child." "Well, Susan, what do you think?" "First of all, I think Mr. Carmichael owes you an apology." "I do, and I apologize most humbly." " And you owe Miss Sprague an apology." " I do." " Hey, what about me?" " Shut up!" "And then I think Patsy should be adopted by a respectable married couple." "Well, what's the matter with us?" "Aren't we respectable?" "Yeah, what's the matter with them?" "Oh, let's eat." "I'm just dying of hunger." "Say good-bye to the nice man." "G..." "Oh." "No, never mind." "When I'm waitin'for you" "Three, four Open up the door" "Now hurry, dear Hurry, for heaven's sake" "I count each step you take when I'm waiting for you" "Five, six, now my heart does tricks as I picture all your charms" "Seven, eight You're at the gate" "And you make me dizzy when you're walking right into my arms" "Nine, ten, kiss me again" "Tell me you get such a thrill" "Just as I hope you will" "When I'm waiting for you" "Hey, hey, hey!" "Look out there!" "Hey, hey!" "Look out!" "Look out!"