"Previously on Greek" "I want to rush a fraternity." "You're not fraternity material." "Who would choose to hung out with the vodka drinkers to whose goal in life is to fornicate on as many vapid sorority girls as possible?" " That's pretty unfair." " I'm gonna pray for you." "Rusty Cartwright." " The spitter?" " I say he's in." "Anybody got a problem?" " You're Casey's brother." " How'd you know?" "I'm her boyfriend." "I'm Evan." "I found out you had sex with Evan Chambers." "I did, rush night." "And it was amazing." "Evan Chambers is my boyfriend." " How awkward for you." " So what do I do?" "You do what you need to do to make it right in your mind." "How 'bout some breakfast?" " Later, Cap." " We're not gonna cuddle?" "You're staying with him?" "Don't you dare judge me!" "I just want to be part of your life." "I'm not gay." "We were just drunk." " Who sent it?" "She didn't do this." " I bet it's from Rebecca." "Someone is holding the camera." " I'll delete it." " No, wait." "You really want to start this?" "It's already started." "Get your crap out of my room, little sis." "Spitter?" "On a school night?" "What, the library burn down?" "No." "I finished tonight's problem set in, like, record time, so I'm here to let loose." "You're in luck." "My sandwich and I were just about to watch the last half..." " Care to join us?" " I'm in." "All right, let's do it." "Zoinks!" "Looks like we're gonna have to wait about... 12 minutes?" "Game of pool?" "Sure." "Looks like you pledges are gonna have to steam clean that later." "What, is everyone hooking up tonight?" " I had a really nice time tonight." " Me too." "But you know the night... is not over yet." "How..." "How about I change into something a little more comfortable?" "Be my guest." "Much better!" "Frasier's on." "GREEK 1x03 The Rusty Nail" "Synchro:" "Babamania et Kasius" "Brotherhood of Omega Chi Delta, the sisterhood of ZBZ would like to introduce our new pledge class." "Back in formation, pledges." "Omega Chi Delta, the sisterhood of ZBZ would like to offer you the privilege of mixing with us friday night." " What do you think?" " Yeah!" "I believe that's a yes." "Then I guess we'll see you friday night." " I'd say that went well." " It did!" "But can you tell the blonde one that" "Zeta Beta Zetas shave every day." "Her armpits look like Colin Farrell's chin." "How's my Zeta Beta babe?" "I need to get back to the pledges." "So if anyone knows who Sarah is, please let Ferret know." "All right, next item on the agenda." ""D..." "Fun..." "Fry."" "Do anybody know what that means?" "Date function friday?" "That's it." "Our first date function of the year is friday." "That gives you nutbags three days to find a date." "Now, pledges, don't worry." "You won't be judged by how hot your date is." "We prefer the term "evaluated"." "Man, those ZBZ girls were hot." "Did you see the redhead?" "What I wouldn't give..." "Can we just get this done?" "Goats, need a volunteer." "Hold on." "Hear what it is first." "I need someone to be the Zeta Beta's errand boy this week." "I'm not... talking about panty raids and pillow fights." "All right?" "This job will suck." "You gotta help them plan the mixer, shop, decorate..." "All that girl stuff." "All right." "Who's willing?" "Pledge Owens..." "Shoulda known my little brother would volunteer." " Way to take one for the team." " Pledging's all about sacrifice." "Come in." "Hey, speed bump." "I'm... ready." "We're going to a bar, not a bake sale." " Wear this." " I'm... worried I'll get cold." "Exactly." "Then Evan gives you his jacket to keep warm." "Duh." "But Evan might not wear a jacket." "And besides," "I'm probably not staying over anyway, so" "I'll have to walk home without it." "Wait." "You're not staying over?" "I've got a crazy day tomorrow." "You two aren't having sex, are you?" "Frannie, that's kind of personal." "Casey, we're sisters." "I've noticed you've been... really tense, like it's been a while." "I know that look." "When Blake got the flu, I was a raving bitch." "I just haven't been in the mood." "Look, I know deciding to stay with Evan was difficult." "But it's done." "Now you've gotta try to get back to normal." "Normal couples do it." "I didn't realize how hard this would be." "Well, if it helps you, you can think about how you're helping your sorority." "The sorority." "The sluts at Tri Pi have been circling him like hyenas in heat." "We cannot afford to lose him." "Come on, little miss Mopey." "It's not like I'm telling you to kill puppies." "You still have feelings for him, right?" "Of course." "Then wear this." "So you need a date for friday." "I don't see what the big deal is." "For the rest of the house, it isn't." "Girls are all they talk about." "Man, I'm with you." "I am so sick of hearing guys talk about getting laid." "Calvin, I could not agree more." "When is the greek system gonna realize that sex before marriage is like slapping God in the face?" "Not exactly what I meant." "Why don't you ask some of the brothers to set you up?" "I'm already "Spitter", the kid who can't drink tequila." "Imagine what they'll call me when they realize I've never been on a date before." " What?" "How is this possible?" " What?" "You saw my small talk skills during rush." "Adding breasts to that scenario just makes things a lot worse." " You've been on a date?" " Yeah, tons of 'em." "I'm a virgin, not a leper." "I may have the answer to your problem." "Really, Dale." "Enlighten me." "The purity pledge organization." "What is it?" "The fastest growing abstinence group in the country." "For believers who have pledged to save ourselves for marriage." "Guessing there's a lot of secret handshakes?" "No, actually, we wear rings." "It's a symbol of my promise." "It's cool?" "You should come to my friday night rap group." "We talk about girls, sin, temptation." "You know, fun stuff like that." "I appreciate the invitation, but I think I'll pass." "All right, just remember." "Your virginity is a precious gift from God." "Got it." "Thanks." "You have to help me." "I'd love to teach you about the ladies, but I gotta help the Zeta Betas plan friday's mixer." "Speaking of Zeta Betas, why don't you ask Casey?" "She knows a house full of girls." "I was hoping it wouldn't have to come to that." "So, Casey, you doing okay?" "I'm good." "So that major weirdness between you and Evan today was just my imagination?" "Come on, Case." "You're my best friend." "Here's my girl!" "I'm sorry." "It's..." "It's okay." "Excuse me a minute." "She's cleaning up another one of your messes." "Look, Ashleigh, I screwed up." "All right?" "I realize that." "And I'm trying to fix it." "And how's that going for you?" "To be honest, I feel like everything I do..." "I'm just making it worse." " Do you really wanna be with her?" " I do." "She's the greatest thing that ever happened to me." "You gotta win her back." "And just who am I competing against?" "Evan, the skeezy dirt bag cheater." "That's who she sees right now." "That Evan bites." "You need to reintroduce her to the Evan she fell in love with." " How do I do that?" " It's simple." "You've gotta rebuild your entire relationship from the ground up and to show her that you respect her and desire her and that she can trust you." "You've got to court her all over again." "All right." "I can do that." "And that means no sex." " Why not?" " 'Cause she's not ready, I don't care what she says." "She's not gonna be ready until she feels safe with you." "So for now, you're McDreamy, not McSteamy." "" " Grey's Anatomy" "All right." "All right." "I got it." " How would you define..." " Anything below the neck." "Looks like I got most of it out." "Hopefully, you won't be wearing it much longer, right?" "Right." "I'm back." "There she is." "You look stunning." "Look at that." "I'm sorry about your drink." "I wanna make it up to you." "And how are you going to do that?" "I'm going to... take you out to dinner tomorrow night." "Well, what about tonight?" "Got a headache." "It's up here." "It's a bad headache, and, you know, besides..." "Tomorrow night, I can have you all to myself." "It's good stuff." "So I'll... pick you up at 7:00?" "All right." "I'll see you tomorrow." "Hey, Casey." "What's up?" "The library burn down?" "I go other places, you know." "I need a favor." "It's happy hour." "You'd better need a kidney." "I have to find a date for my date function friday." "Please set me up with one of your sisters." "You're serious." "I have nowhere else to go." "Okay." "Meet me at the house tomorrow morning." "All right." "Let's... start with high fives, work up to hugs." "Tomorrow morning then." "Tomorrow morning." "The social committee meeting is now in session." "You may notice we have a boy in our midst." "This is our Omega Chi pledge." "He's gonna do the crap for the mixer we don't wanna do." " Say hi, pledge." " Hi." "Okay, back to business." "It is now time to announce the mixer theme." "I have thought long and hard about this, and I have come up with something truly monumental." "The theme for the mixer will be..." "Wait for it..." ""Pimps and hos"." "That was the theme for the last three mixers, Ashleigh." " Because everyone loves it." " No." "You love it." "The rest of us are over dressing like hookers." "What else do you have?" "How about a graffiti mixer?" "I have an idea." "Did he just speak?" "I was thinking military mixer?" "Think about it." "A room full of hot guys in uniform." "And girls, of course." "We'll call it "the don't ask, don't tell mixer."" "Meeting adjourned." "Pledge, let's go shopping." "I have a name, you know." "I'm sure you do." "I don't know, casey." "This just isn't my style." "Then we're on the right track." "Look, girls are fickle." "82% of our first impression is based on how you look." "Did you just quote a statistic?" "I'm Phi Beta Kappa in flirting." "Trust me, this new look will get you noticed." "I bet mom and dad will notice when they get their credit card bill." "Please." "If your wardrobe isn't an emergency, I don't know what is." "I can walk next to you without feeling like I'm doing you a favor." " Morning, little lady." "Evan." " Hey, Cappie." "Spitter?" "What have you done?" "The impossible, right?" "Look at how handsome he is." "Turning your brother into your boyfriend is kinda creepy, Case." "Spitter, are you still in there?" "Let's all ease up on my face." "Rusty asked me to help him find a date for your date function." "Now he actually stands a chance." "Did you ever stop to think about what kind of girl this might attract?" "A girl with standards, perhaps?" "Or maybe a girl who chooses style over substance." "A girl who only cares about appearances." "Would you really want him in such an empty, soul-sucking relationship?" "I just want my little brother to have what I have..." "A relationship that's deep and meaningful." "With lots and lots of hot lovemaking." "Come on, Rusty." "Let's go." "Rusty's coming with me." "He asked me for help." "And he looks like he's about to overdose on khaki." "Spitter, you decide." "Your sister... or your brother?" "I don't know, Casey." "I'm sorry." "This just isn't me." "Fine." "Good luck." "You'll need it." "She means well." "Where'd you park your yacht?" "Check it out." "Little army men." "And we need those why?" "To make miniature battle scenes in the bathrooms with votives." "Ambience." "You're really into this." "I just think this mixer should be one for the records." "You know, we're the two best houses on campus, right?" "Good point." "I just wish my boyfriend would come up for it." "Long-distance relationship?" "Sounds hard." "What's hard is spending all this time planning mixers so that everyone else can hook up." "What about you?" "Got a girlfriend?" "Me?" "No." "I just haven't met the right person yet." "Dinner was amazing." "So what should we do now?" "I've got the answer in my back pocket." "I was hoping it was in your front pocket." "Tickets." "To the midnight showing of..." ""Gone with the wind"." "Remember how you said you always wanted to see that?" "How... romantic." "We don't wanna be late." "College." "You can almost smell the raging hormones." "Really?" "Well, you could, but the stench of your fear's a bit overpowering." "Spitter, what are you so afraid of?" "Rejection." "Humiliation." "And clowns." "Well, those are scary things." "But let's try and maintain perspective." "You're asking a girl out on a date, that's it." "It may comfort you to know that when it comes to the softer sex," "I wasn't always gifted and talented." " Really?" " Yeah." "Fifth grade was a bitch." " But I rose above it, and so can you." " How?" "It's simple." "The secret to flirting, dating, and hooking up..." "It's all biology." "Don't you mean anatomy?" "Can't you see I'm in lecture mode?" "Where was I?" "Biology." "There's this guy named Chuck Darwin." "Now, he proved that mankind has evolved over billions and trillions of years." "Darwin showed that every aspect of human behavior has an evolutionary purpose." "Right?" "Chatting up girl is in our genetic code." "We're programmed to be able to do it." "Why?" "So we can boink and make babies." "It's survival of the flirtiest." "So you're saying I'm becoming extinct?" "No." "No, I'm saying evolution has made us good at this." "You need to get out of your head and just trust your instincts." "The ability to attract a female is hardwired into your DNA." "That actually makes scientific sense." "Of course it does." "I was a bio major once." "Now let's go make Chucky D. proud." "Looks like someone had a night of fiery passion." "Someone did." "Scarlett O'Hara." "Role play." "Kinky." "No." "Evan took me to a midnight movie." "I'm starting to think he's the one avoiding sleeping with me." "What?" "This month'smode..." ""Treating and beating cheating."" "It says "couples who don't reestablish" ""their physical relationship within two weeks of infidelity" ""have a 2.5% chance of long-term success."" "really?" "And why is that?" "Because one person stops seeing the other in a sexual way." "What if that's happened to Evan?" "That's ridiculous, Frannie." "Who do you think he fantasizes about when he's playing solitaire?" " Me?" " I hope you're right." "But his most recent naked memory is of Rebecca Logan." "All I'm saying is you have to reestablish your place as the object of his fantasies." "As God is my witness, I will rock Evan's world tonight." "If I find one drop of paint on the floor, I'll gut you." "Have fun!" "Calvin was just getting his backpack." "Calvin would be me." "I'm a dork." "This is Casey." " Rusty's sister." " Genetically speaking, yes." "Rusty's my man." "Did you help him find a date?" "Let's just say we agreed to part ways." "Gotcha." "Well, I should get going." "This has been really fun, Ash." "Nice break from Alpha male fraternity life." "I had fun too." "Nice to meet you." "You have a boyfriend." "Please." "He's like my personal assistant." "Plus, he's really into it like planning, shopping, decorating..." "All that crap." "Which is weird for a guy." "I've never met one who was into that stuff who wasn't..." " Oh, my God!" " You mean he's..." "Got a crush on me." "Not where I thought you were going with that." "But..." "I see your point." "So he fancies you." "It's adorable." "It's anti-adorable." "Did you forget Sam, the stalker freshman year?" "Creepy Craig last semester?" "You do attract the crazies." "Right?" "I mean, I've seen this before." "Soon he's gonna be stealing locks of my hair and carving my name into his arm." "I need to shut him down before this becomes drama." "The date function is tonight." "I don't think I have time to bulk up." "We're not here to work out." "The gym is the ideal place to meet women." "How?" "How so?" "Think about it." "A totally non-threatening environment, all filled with women in tight clothes, all high on endorphins." "Chuck Darwin would call this the Galapagos Islands of dating." "Let's find you a friend." "Good choice." "Make me proud." "Remember." "Trust your instincts." "Small ones give the best burn." "Your biceps are very bulbous." "Is that an insult?" "No." "No, not at all." "Bulbous is an adjective meaning bulging." " Thanks." " Yeah." "I have one of those word of the day calendars." "That was today's word." "And when I saw your arms, I thought, what a perfect opportunity to use it in a sentence." "At least it's just bruised." "My toe or my ego?" "Lucky for you, I was a psych major once." "Now, I've diagnosed your condition, and while more serious than I thought," " there is a cure." " Really?" "What's the matter with me?" "You're suffering from virginitis." "What makes you think I'm a virgin?" "Rusty, this is serious." "Right now, your innocence is cute and endearing, but if left untreated, your 30s will not be pretty." "It's not that big of a deal." "I your virgin mind, women are like these... mythical creatures." "Like unicorns." "With breasts." "But let me tell you something." "That's a myth." "Women are normal people with breasts." "And you need to have sex with one so that you can see that." "How am I gonna do that when I can't even find a date for tonight?" "Look, I've taken care of everything, okay?" "You have a date with Lisa Lawson." "She's an old friend who's very... friendly." " Cappie, I don't know..." " Relax." "Tonight is your inaugural bal." "It's gonna be fun." "Hello." "I'd like you to meet Brian, Sanjay, and Ted." "Nice to meet you guys." "These guys are my purity pledge brothers." "We're like a fraternity, but for God." "Purity pledge..." "Activate." "Amen!" "Awesome." "Well don't mind me." "Actually, you're why they're here." " Me?" " I know you're hoping to lose your virginity tonight, so I thought what a great chance for the guys to hear firsthand from somebody on the brink of making such a colossal mistake." " Dale, I don't feel like I'm making..." " Who's got a question?" "Anybody?" "Brian." "Are you in love?" "No." "Have you both been tested for the full array of STDs?" "No." " What will you do if she gets pregnant?" " Enough!" "Look." "I know you guys think virginity is like this precious gift, but you know what?" "It's not." "It's a big fat burden." "It's one that's making me feel like I'm this lonely, awkward loser." "And I'm tired of feeling that way." "And tonight, I have a chance to change that." "So I'm gonna give my gift away." "I'm gonna give it to a girl named Lucy." "Or laura." "Or something that begins with an l." "Can it, Ted." "Let's pray for him." "All hands on deck." "You fell for me." "Put me down." "Thank you, pledge." "Please have that ladder removed." "Yes, ma'am." "Land ho!" "Why, thank you!" " You're looking pretty dapper yourself." " Thank you." "I just hope Casey likes her man in uniform." "Well, just make sure you're an officer and a gentleman tonight." "Yes, Sergeant." "I want you to stay loose." "Don't get caught in the corner." "You just gotta look her in the eye." "And talk." "What's her name again?" "Lisa Lawson." "What if she doesn't like me?" "Come on, Spitter." "What's not to like?" "Besides..." "She likes everybody." "There she is now." "That's her?" "That's her." "Godspeed." "I remember you." "You spit on me." "Sorry." "You're cute." "How about making it up to me by getting me a drink?" "Sure." "Ten-hut!" "Now, is that any way to greet your commanding Officer?" "You've got to follow orders." "If I remember correctly, you like that." "Look..." "Rebecca," "I made a huge mistake hooking up with you." "I love my girlfriend." "I got that sense when you were taking my bra off with your teeth." "Hiya, Soldier." "Care to dance?" "Your skin is very taut." " Thanks." " I'm sorry." "That sounded like I wanted to make a coat out of it." "I'm just really bad at talking to girls." "Especially pretty girls." "Since you're the prettiest girl I've ever seen, this is especially hard." "You know, we can get a little closer." "I'm guessing this is your first time." "Do I have virgin written on my forehead?" "I was talking about dancing." "Gotcha." "Don't worry." "I'm a good teacher." "God, you look amazing" "I wanted tonight to be special." "Well, it is." "It is special." "I got something that'll make it even more special." "I booked us a room at the University Inn." "Why would you do that?" "Because..." "I would like us to have sex." "Tonight." "Okay." "Tonight." "Tonight tonight?" "Yeah." "Let's go now." "I can't wait." "After this dance." "Cap, do you mind if we use your room?" "Nothing could possibly make me more proud." "Could you snap one of me?" "I want my boyfriend to see how hot I look." "Wait." "I have to work all my angles." " Ash, let's get a picture?" " Oh, my God!" "Can I just get one moment of peace?" "Listen, I know you're in love with me and I know you see me as this perfect specimen of the female form, and you're right." "But I have a boyfriend." "So shove off, Sailor, and respect my boundaries, and just... leave me alone!" "I'm gonna run upstairs," "I'm gonna grab my wallet, and I'll be right back." "Rusty's buddy." "Did my little brother find a date?" "Yeah." "Cappie set him up." "I wonder who it is." " He said Lucy Lawless?" " Lisa Lawson?" "Yeah, that's her." "You know her?" "Everyone knows her." "She's slept with half the male student body." "She's the virgin whisper." "Do me a favor." "Tell Evan I'll meet him at the hotel." "Something's vibrating." "It's my cell phone." "Mom?" "I'll call you later." "Where were we?" "Lisa, wait." " Did it happen already?" " What?" "Oh." "No." "It's not that." "It's just..." "This isn't really how I imagined my first time." "Don't get me wrong." "You are way better than I have ever imagined." "It's just..." "I just thought it would mean some..." "More." "That's sweet." "I felt that way once too." " What happened?" " Well, I had sex." "Turns out it was like crazy fun." "Where is Rusty?" " Good evening to you too." " Cut the crap." "I need to talk to him." " What's the big emergency?" " Lisa Lawson, Cap?" "She's even easier to get into bed than you are." "Really?" "Damn it, I'm losing my edge." "But I'm afraid you're too late." "Rusty and Lisa are indisposed." "Undisposed?" "Predisposed." "They're up in my room doin' it." "One sec." "Whoa there, doll." "You do realize what you're about to do." "I'm stopping Rusty from making a huge mistake and probably" " ...go blind in the process." " What is the big deal?" "He's 18." "He can vote." "But he can't hook up with a really hot girl?" " Jeez, Case, this is just sex." " No, it's not." " It's his first time." " Okay, so it'll be brief, but still." "Have you forgotten about our first time?" "You can be as cocky as you want." "But it was more than just sex." "It was pretty amazing, right?" "It was awkward, uncomfortable, and terrifying." "But..." "We were in love." "It was a perfect moment in time that I look back on with no regrets." "Rusty deserves the same." "Stay here." "I'll go in." "Avon calling" "Rusty isn't in there with you by any chance?" "He went home." "Carry on." "Did you want the light on or off?" "You look like you could use this." "You doin' okay?" "I miss my boyfriend." "I wanna do that." "Well, think about it this way." "You could do that if you wanted to." " And your point is?" " My point is you're gorgeous" "All right?" "And any guy in here would want to make out with you." "But you're committed to your man, and that takes character." "That's so sweet." "It's making me a little nauseous." "Here." "Hurl into this." "You're a real nice guy, Calvin." "At another time, it might have been you and me." "Perhaps." "How 'bout I help you home?" "Thanks." "But i am perfectly fine." "Okay, you can help me." "Why the long face?" "Case, I just wanna be alone right now." "Okay." "You should know I'm a bad listener." "You should also know I'm proud of you." "What for?" "Uh..." "How do I put this?" "I know you could have studied tonight." " Is studying a euphemism for..." " Yes." " Just go with it." " Gotcha." "Tonight was completely study-free." "I'm not sure if I'll ever get the chance to study again, actually." " Don't be ridiculous." " Come on." "You said yourself that i'm not exactly the most desirable study buddy." "I was wrong." "I was trying to make you into someone you're not." "But you've always been an individual." "It's something I envy about you." "Let's not get carried away." "Let's not get carried away." "Listen... you'll know when it's time to study." "Someday you'll meet someone you love and trust," "Someone you feel safe with." "You deserve that." "So do you." "There you are." "I missed you." "Evan, um..." "This isn't working." "I agree." "You wanna move to the bed?" "Let's move to the bed." "No, i meant..." "This isn't working." "I thought this is what you wanted." "You rented the room." "I was trying to force myself to sleep with you." "Well, that..." "That killed the mood." "Glad to hear this is such a chore for you, Case." "I'm just not over what happened yet." " I thought you didn't want to talk about that." " I didn't." "I don't." " But, Evan, what you did really hurt." " Don't do that." " Do what?" " Make me out to be the only bad guy here." "All right?" "We're even." "That's what you said." "I'm not an idiot." "I know what you meant." "Don't play this off as my fault." " You started this." " Yeah." "And you ended it." "I did what I did out of anger and betrayal." "What's your excuse?" " You know what?" "Just forget it." " No." "No, I wanna know." "Why did you do it?" " I don't know." " ...how you just tripped" " and fell into bed with her?" " I freaked out!" " About what?" " About us." "We're in college." "I don't know if you've noticed, but college relationships are not exactly built to last." "I see." "So in your head, we weren't that serious." "No." "No." "In my head, we were too serious." "I pictured forever with you." "We were the perfect married couple." "We had three kids and a volvo." "We had a beach house in the outer banks with a Jack Russell terrier named Schnitzel." " What's so bad about that?" " It's not bad." "It's wonderful." "Look, it just..." "It just felt..." "So final, you know?" "Permanent." "I wigged out and..." "Well, you know the rest." "I still think about that future." "I am not ready to give up on it." "How about..." "We try to get through fall semester before we worry about the future?" "Agreed." "Now it's my turn to ask you a question." " Look, things between Cap..." " Can you forgive me?" "I can." "You wanna see Iffrasier'son?" "I could go for some serious cuddling." "Fyi." "I am not driving a Volvo."