"Good morning." " Good morning." "Smells good." " Breakfast won't be long." "Marvellous." "Marvellous." "Good morning, Tris." " Hm?" "I said, good morning." " Morning, James." "Are you all right?" " Quite." "You don't look it." " I said I'm quite all right, James." "I'll do the rest." " Right." "Will we wait for Mr Farnon?" " Oh, yes." "(James ) Isn't he back yet?" "(Helen ) I don't know." "(Helen ) Have you seen any sign of him, Tris?" "Sorry, what's that?" " Siegfried." "Is he back yet?" "Back from where?" " The keep fit campaign." "He's been at it for a week." " No, I haven't seen him." "You're a bit subdued this morning, Tris." "Yes, I noticed that." " Sorry, I just feel a bit rough." "Do you want your breakfast now?" " I'm not hungry." "No breakfast?" "Now I am worried." "Tris, are you..." "For heaven's sake, James, can't you leave it alone?" "Sorry." "Uh!" "Good morning, little brother." "What was that about?" " I think he's a bit off colour." "I'm not surprised with his seedy life." "I'll have to have words with him." "Are you ready for your breakfast?" " Lord, yes, I'm famished!" "(Sighs deeply)" "(James ) How was your ride?" "Marvellous." "A early morning gallop gets the red corpuscles multiplying." "I'll take your word for it." " Do more - take a leaf from my book." "Oh, yes?" " Exercise, James." "Hard physical exercise and clean air." "Does the dogs a world of good, too." "Work is all the exercise I need, or want, actually." "Complacency is the first sign of the rot setting in." "Rot?" "Remember the lessons of our school days - a sound mind stems from a healthy body." "It may sound schoolmasterish but there's a lot of sense in it." "I am perfectly fit." "It's that old devil complacency, James." "Now when did you last take stock " "Pale of a morning." "Tired and washed-out at night." "That's no good in our active profession." "Siegfried, I assure you..." "You may delude yourself but I know the signs." "What signs?" "Reluctance to get up in the morning." "Where's the post?" "There." "That's only when I've worked all night." "I'm telling you for your own good." " Well, I'm telling you..." "No, James, won't wash." " Dammit!" "There's another sign - not facing facts and being irritable." "I promise you, I know exactly how you feel." "I wouldn't bet on it." " I can accept this bad temper and sharpness, because I understand it." "But what about the clients, James?" "How are the clients going to feel when you start taking it out on them?" "You think I'm rude to our clients?" "See?" "Your nervous system is so frayed that even a friend's candid observation is taken as an insult." "You'd try the patience of a saint!" "It's just your physical condition leaves a great deal to be desired." "But you're not as bad as Tristan." " Thanks!" "But you could usefully follow my example." "Not only would your outlook become more tranquil but every aspect of your life would take on a new breadth and clarity." "Breakfast is served." " Oh, splendid lady." "James." " Oh, hello, Tris." "I'm sorry about earlier." " It's OK." "We all have off moments." "I've had a shock." "I need some advice." "What's wrong?" " I can't say now." "Meet at the Drovers later?" " Yes." "Ah, Tristan." "There are a few boxes at the station." "Would you pick them up?" " Yes." "And you've not got the day off." " What do you mean?" "No turning a simple errand into a prolonged absence." "If I'm that unreliable, why send me?" "I'm simply asking you to hurry because we need the supplies." "Well, you don't have to worry." " But I do worry." "Instructions must be spelled out to you." "Oh, I'm an idiot?" " Just do what you're told." "I'm not a witless oaf!" " Listen..." "Do you want me to go?" " Yes!" "All right." "I'll go." " Before I lose my temper!" "Good God, James." "What the hell has got into him?" " Don't know." "Did I do or say anything to offend him?" "No, you were pretty much your usual self." "Might he be ill?" "He's been behaving oddly." "Perhaps he's under the weather." "I knew all that booze, nicotine and lack of sleep would get him." "It's had no effect till now." "Quite." "But now the chickens have come home to roost." "It's what I said earlier." "It's a deadly equation - an unsound body equals an erratic mind." "Come on." "Sound or unsound, we all have our off moments." "What if you know how to prevent it?" "I can't force you or Tristan to follow my example." "I just hope common sense prevails in the end." "Aye, it's as I says." "But Mr Herriot was quite certain." "Well, young Mr Herriot's very well with cattle and such like, but he's got a lot to learn about dogs and cats." "I'll have words to say to him." " I'm sure he did his best." "Leaving poor Midge to suffer like that." "(James ) There we are." "Should be fine now." "Bye, Mr Hardcastle." "Next, please." "(James ) Hello, Mr Bantock." "Would you put Midge on the table, please?" "Well, how is she?" "Oh, yes." "Definitely on the mend." "Mr Herriot, I have words to say to you." "Mm-hmm?" " I have a complaint to make." "A very serious complaint." " What's wrong?" "I strongly object to your callousness." "That's the word, callousness." "What do you mean?" " You know." "Or if you don't, you've no right to be doing your job." "Steady on." " No, you hear me out!" "I don't take kindly to no one - least of all a vet - who causes an animal unnecessary suffering." "What suffering?" "When I bought Midge in to see you, she was very lame." "I'm referring to your treatment on that occasion." "How did she suffer?" " Her leg was dangling." "Yes." "I recommended the correct treatment." "Treatment?" "I now know that her leg was broken and you should've put it in plaster." "Who said it was broken?" " Someone smart, I reckon." "You reckon wrong, Mr Bantock." "This dog has a radial paralysis caused by a blow to the ribs." "It's not broken." "Not broken?" " No, of course not." "But she trails her leg when she walks." "I know and that's typical in cases like this." "It looks broken but it's not." " But..." "If it was, she'd be in pain." " I guess so." "Has she shown any sign of it?" " No." "So follow my treatment and she'll recover." "It's just that this lady seemed to be so sure of her facts." "Lady, Mr Bantock?" "Aye, that one out there in the waiting room." "Not a Mrs Donovan?" " Aye, I think that's her name." "Just a few spoonfuls of this and he'll soon have his appetite back." "Bye, Mr Bantock." "Lovely day, Mr Herriot." " Is it, Mrs Donovan?" "Aye." "Never seen such a run-down creature before." "Ah, run-down, is he?" " Aye." "The tongue." "You can always tell by the colour of the tongue." "What are you feeding that dog?" " My own patent nostrum, Mr Herriot." "Just the job for a dog without an appetite." "You might like to know he has a gastric upset." "Never mind, Mr Herriot." "This'll buck him up." "I really must ask you to stop." "Aye." "There." "That should do it." "Feel better now, do you, my pet?" "I can see you do." "(James ) Take Trigger into the surgery, please." "Come on." " Off you go." "Now, Mrs Donovan..." "I've spoken to you about this kind of thing before." "I'm not sure I take your meaning." "I know mean well but really!" "We can't have you interfering with our patients." "Interfering, Mr Herriot?" "That's a strange word to use." "Especially since all I do is relieve animal suffering." "But you're unqualified." "You might make mistakes." "I don't do it for myself, just for the animals." "There ain't a law against that, is there?" "I'm always around when I'm needed." "Yes." "Yes, I know." "And I'm sure we all appreciate what you do." "So we'll say no more about it, shall we?" "Good." "Well..." "have you brought Rex in to see me?" "Oh, Rex!" "He needs nothing from nobody." "Going on 15 and sound as a bell." "Aren't you, my pet?" " Fine." "Now, you must leave us to get on with our work." "Of course." "I just thought I'd pop in and see if I could help." "Thanks, but I think we can manage." " Aye." "Oh, sorry." "Hello, Tris." " Oh, hello, James." "Can I get you one?" " No, thanks." "Not for me." "Oh." "Betty, could I have a pint when you have time?" "Right you are." "I'll bring it over." "All right, let's have it." "I'm in a ghastly fix, James." " What's happened?" "This is terrible, Tris." " Yes." "Failed in medicine and surgery." "But how could it happen?" " Here you are, Mr Herriot." "Thank you, Betty." "That's it." " Thank you very much." "How?" "You're superb on practical." "You absorb theory like a sponge." "I thought I knew it all." "But knowing it here is different than reeling it off in the examiner's room." "Let's face it, I was scared." "Drinking didn't help." " I thought the exam went well." "I had to believe that with Siegfried watching me." "He doesn't know yet?" " No, but he will." "You know how he'll be." " He'll have to accept it." "After all the effort he put into preparing me?" "No, it's asking too much of him." "It's not just my ability, it's Siegfried's pride." "He'll take it as a mortal insult." "He'll fume and rant but he'll come round." "You can resit the exam." "He'll skin me alive and throw out what's left." "This has happened before." " I won't take it!" "If he goes for me, I'll fight back." "We won't be able to live in the same house." "You're exaggerating." " No." "Then see it doesn't come to that." " How?" "Well, I don't know." "Be nice to him." "Work hard." "Make yourself indispensable." "Change your way of life." "Do anything you can to make him realise how much he needs you." "Then when the crunch comes..." " That's brilliant!" "What is?" " Of course!" "That's it!" "(Running footsteps on stairs )" "Evening, Siegfried." "Had a good day?" "Fine, thanks." "You off somewhere?" "I'm taking a jog before dinner." "My word!" "That's somewhat brave." "I've been feeling slack." "It's time I took myself in hand." "Spanking good idea." " Would you care to join me?" "Not just at the moment." " Right you are." "Would you like tea before your ride in the morning?" "I'll be off long before..." " 5:30am too early?" "Tea at half past five?" " Yes." "Just before my dawn run." "Tristan, you are feeling OK?" " Fine, thanks." "Hello, James." "Could you cancel my fag order from the Drovers?" "Cancel them?" " Yes." "Tell Betty I've given up." "She'll understand." " Right." "Bye, now!" "James, I did see what I saw just now, didn't I?" "You mean the keep fit thing?" "Precisely." " He's been talking about it." "He's seen how it's helped you." " Really?" "Hm." " Quite extraordinary." "Tristan's cunning." "He'll have Siegfried eating out of his hands." "I think it's wicked deceiving Siegfried." "Tristan will only make it worse if he's caught out." "You're just as bad, encouraging him." "If Siegfried found out Tristan had failed his exam, this house would be a battlefield." "Poor Siegfried's being used." " Poor Sieg..." "Have you ever seen him boiling over?" "Siegfried out for blood is terrifying." "Oh, nonsense." "He's a sweet, charming man." "A typical woman's opinion." "You only see the side you want to see." "Of course, to a woman, Siegfried is always a charmer." "He's your friend." " Yes, and so is Tristan." "In this situation, Tristan needs the help most." "I won't have anything to do with it." "This is the only way to relieve a nasty situation with the least damage." " It all depends on Tristan, then." "Hm." " Hey!" "(Jingling)" " Look what I found!" "Oh, no." " Yes!" "That has to last the week!" "The rule is all loose change in the piggy bank." "Leave me enough for a drink." " Sorry, darling." "(Jingling)" " We're doing really well!" "Yes." "Let's not get carried away." "What's so wrong with getting carried away, hm?" "Well, now you come to mention it, nothing at all." "(Siegfried) Come on, boy!" "Whoa!" "(Galloping hooves )" "(Barking)" "Come on!" "Whoa!" "Good morning, Tristan!" "Wonderful morning!" " Indeed!" "Good to see you taking exercise." "You can still surprise me!" "Oh, yes!" "No trouble!" " I never thought it possible!" "(Siegfried) Marvellous!" "(Humming)" "What the deuce..." " Have you lost something?" "My equipment's disappeared." "I left them in their usual places." "Hang on." "Great Scott." "Tristan, are those mine?" "Yes, they were lying about." "Thought I'd wash and brush them." "Damned fine job you've made of it." "We can't let expensive equipment go to ruin." "Yes, quite." "You don't mind I've made them a home?" "Your initiative staggers me." "It's gratifying." "I've also reorganised the drug stock." "How?" " When the new batches come in, we usually put them in front so the old stock's left unused." "All new supplies will be moved in rotation." "Cuts out waste." "Brilliant." "Brilliant!" "Oh, I thought you were all out." "Here we are." "I've just taken this message." " Thank you." "Oh, Tristan, could you ask James if he could fit in a visit to Fairley's at Otterdale?" "What is it?" " Removing a cow's stitches." "There's no road, so it'll take me too long to get there." "That's all right." "I'll go." " What?" "How?" "You have no car." "I'll take the bicycle as far as I can, then walk." "Do you know how long that'll take?" " So long as the job is done." "Well, thank you, Tristan." "Oh, it's a pleasure, Siegfried." "Well, I'd better make a start." "(Typewriter keys clacking)" "(Helen ) Oh, the hero's returned." "I am absolutely whacked." "Done in." "An eight-mile trek with snow clouds looming above me." "Very noble of you, Tristan." "When I think of what I'm going through to keep him off my neck." "Don't spoil it now." "He's impressed." "So he should be." "It's wearing me down." "(Door opens )" "Helen, give Mr Handshaw a ring, will you?" "Tristan, you're back already?" " Yes." "Mission accomplished." "Excellent." "Yes, Helen, give Handshaw a call and cancel my visit, will you?" "He's not on the phone." " Damn!" "Yes." "He'll be expecting you." " James and I are so busy." "Tristan, you wouldn't do it for us, would you?" "Run a tuberculin test on Handshaw's herd?" "Yes, of course, Siegfried." "Excellent!" "You weren't busy?" "I did have a date with Connie but work must come first." "Splendid attitude." "Anyway, if you rush off now, you'll make the date." "On my way." " (Siegfried) Coming, James!" "Right, I'll take over." " Thanks." "Come on, pussnums." " Pull him tight." "Right." " That's got it." "(Doorbell)" "This place is like Piccadilly Circus today." "Could you come back?" "I'll have to take that." "Thank you." "(Siegfried) Mrs Hall!" "Oh, Mrs Donovan, how are you?" "Oh, Mr Farnon, it's Rex." "He's been run over." "Oh, bring him in." "Clear the decks, James." "Dog's been run over." "Mrs Donovan's Rex." "There we are." " Put him down gently." "He slipped his lead, you see." "He's never done it before." "The wheel went right over him." "Massive internal haemorrhage." "Saline, please." "Yes." "He's dead, in't he?" "(James ) I'm afraid so, Mrs Donovan." "Oh." "My poor, poor Rex." "Mrs Donovan, come inside and sit down for a bit." "Come on." "Sorry to keep you waiting like that." "Shan't be a moment." "Always hate this part of it." "Drink this, Mrs Donovan." "You don't think he suffered, do you?" "No, I'm certain he didn't." "(Mrs Donovan ) Poor Rex." "Whatever shall I do without him?" "He had a very good life." "Aye." "We travelled many a mile together, Rex and me." "Do you know, he hated to see other animals suffer." "It's true... that he did." "You could tell." "He was happy when we relieved some poor animal's pain." "I know it's a bit soon to mention this, Mrs Donovan, but my advice is that you get another dog." "No." "No, I couldn't do that." "Rex meant too much to me." "I couldn't let another take his place." "Well, that's how you feel now, Mrs Donovan." "No." "Rex was my own faithful friend." "I couldn't betray him." "No." "I'll never have another dog again." "Good morning, Mr Handshaw!" "All ready, are they?" "Ready and waiting these good few hours." "Right, then." " They're not in there." "Not in there?" "Then where are they, Mr Handshaw?" "You can't keep cows in all the time." "A bit of snow does 'em good." "I have a lot of visits to make." "You were asked..." " T'ain't so." "You got the letter?" " Yes." "You asked me to be ready." "And here I am, ready and waiting, ain't I?" "So you are." "Trouble is, it's your cattle I've come to test." "So can we have them inside, please?" "Don't worry." "We'll get 'em in." "Won't take a jiffy." "Come on." "Come on, young mister." "I can't hang about here all day!" "I hope they're well behaved." "Cush, cush." "Cush, cush, cush!" "Cush, cush!" "Cush!" "Cush!" "Cush!" " Cush." "Hey!" "Cush." "Cush." "No!" " Hey, hey." "Oh!" "Damn!" "They don't want to go inside." "I told you, didn't I?" "We have to have them inside, Mr Handshaw." "Well, we can but try." "Come on." "(Rings bell)" "(Whistling)" "Hey." " Cush." "Hey, there." " Cush." "Cush." "Cush." "Cush." "Cush." " Cush!" "Cush!" "Cush!" "Aww." "We're never going to get this lot done." "There's only one way to do it." "What's that?" "Sam Broadbent." "He'll give you his warble fly." "His what?" " His warble fly." "Young mister's fretting." "Can't get t'cows into t'barn." "Oh, aye?" " Can you move them?" "Eh?" "Oh, aye." "Now, Mr Broadbent?" "Aye." "Cows are over there, Sam." "Aye." "Can you get him to get a move..." " Shh, shh." "Sam's thinking." "(Ascending fly-like buzz )" "(Buzzing continues )" "(Buzzing)" "(Mr Handshaw ) There ain't much else Sam can do... but by God he can imitate that warble fly, all right." "It's a rotten business, James." "Darrowby won't be the same without Mrs Donovan and Rex burning up the pavements seeking out suffering animals." "She said she doesn't want another dog." "She's remarkable in many ways." "Tiresome too, when she interferes." "But her heart's in the right place." " Yes." "It'll take more than losing Rex to keep her down." "(Door opens )" "Ah, Tristan." "What kept you?" " There were a few problems." "Nothing we couldn't handle." " You dealt with the cattle?" "Every last one of them." " What a good fellow you are." "You're a tower of strength." " Connie rang several times." "Oh, I'd better move or she'll have my hide." "Bath, then I'm on my way." "Oh, I ran into Jeff Hawkins today." "His boy, Trevor, sat his exams at the same time as you." "Oh?" " Yeah." "Trevor's passed." "He got his results a few days ago." "Good for Trevor." "It's odd you've not got your results." "Paperwork probably got tangled up." "It's these red tape set-ups." "Must be on my way." "Why on earth... (James ) Oh, Connie." "Hello." "Is Tristan in?" " Isn't he with you?" "No." "He's kept me hanging about for ages." "Do you know where he is?" " No." "Hello, Connie." " Oh, hello, Helen." "I'm sorry." "Oh, when I get my hands on him!" "He knew what time we were expected." "Did you see Tristan leave?" " No." "Is he still in the house?" "I don't know." "I'll check." " No." "If he's there, I have words to say to him in private." "Yes, but..." " Tristan, where are you?" "(Tristan ) In here." "(Connie ) Where?" "(Both scream )" "Connie, sorry!" "I fell asleep!" "Then good night to you, too, Tristan Farnon!" "You spoke to Helen, eh?" " In here." "Sorry I'm late." " That's OK." "What's wrong?" " It's a cruelty case." "My God." " Yeah." "You look at his back end." "Pressure sores." "Let's have him up on the table, can we, please?" "That's better." "Thanks." "They're gangrenous, as well." "His sternum and ribs are affected." "How did you find him?" " A lady reported it." "She heard him whimpering." "It's only young, too - a year old, I'd say." "I believe he's been chained here since he was a pup." "I hope you throw the book at someone." "There's not much I can do." "It's a case of diminished responsibility." "The owner's simple." "We can only ensure he has no more animals." "(James ) Yes." "Mr Herriot, good morning." " Hello." "This is the woman who told me." " You know everything going on." "Poor creature." "Breaks the heart to see such suffering." "You'll have to put him down?" "Yes, he'd never find a home like this." "Nay, Mr Herriot, there's nowt wrong with him that me own patent nostrums can't put to rights." "The heart's sound enough." "He'd be a lovely dog given a chance." "I'm afraid he won't get that chance." "With no one to care for him, he'll have to be put down." "You can't." " I've no choice, you see." "Well, unless we can find someone to care for him." "And in that condition, well, who'd want him?" "I do." "I can make him better, I know I can!" "I don't think you could cope..." " Not cope!" "I've coped with animals for years." "I'm not the one to ask, really." "It's the RSPCA" " Mr Halliday." "Inspector, you let me have him and I'll soon show you what a healthy dog looks like." "Excuse me, madam." "Mr Herriot?" " Yes." "I can't just hand over an animal in that condition." "The poor beggar's had one bad break already." "Don't worry." "She's a funny old stick but she's the perfect owner for that dog." "His name's Roy, Mr Herriot." "That's a bit like Rex, in't it?" "Yes, just like Rex, the way it rolls off the tongue." "Can I have him, then?" "I'll get him to the surgery for some attention first." "All right, Mrs Donovan." "Oh, it's gonna be all right, Roy, my pet." "All right." "Do you hear?" "Ah, there you are." "Now, James..." " Won't be a moment." "You're not going to shift that." "I got it messing about with that dog earlier." "Huh?" "Well, I think I've got just the thing for you." "Oh?" " Here, try some of that." "Oh." "UCM?" "Universal Cattle Mixture?" "Yes, it's the universal specific." "Not just for bovines." "It also cures hangover, insomnia, lumbago, bunions... and clears even the most resistant stains." "Now, go on." "Give it a go." "No, James." "Come on." "Just splash it on." "(Hissing)" " Oh." "Don't worry about the fireworks." "That's normal." "Now... just let it soak in for a bit." "I hope I know what I'm doing." "Oh, that'll do the trick." " I hope so." "I've got a nice little job for you." " Which means I won't like it." "We can't have you always thinking the worst." "I just know what your nice jobs are like." "How would you like to spend a few days over at Broughton?" "Broughton?" " Angus Grier's had an accident." "Been kicked by a cow." "Fractured his arm." "You know how I feel about him!" "Just needs someone to help him until his new assistant arrives." "Couldn't you or Tris do it?" " I'm busy tomorrow." "I need Tristan." "Besides, he specifically asked for you." "Why?" "He doesn't like me." "Oh, nonsense." "He's just got an unfortunate manner." "Last time I helped him, he made me look a right chump!" "Tricked me into wearing a vile rubber suit." "You can't blame a man just cos he's got a sense of humour." "He needs our help, you know?" "We can't let him down." "All right." "Good man." "I'll tell him you'll be there." "Oh, Siegfried." "Yes, James." " Your universal remedy worked." "Ah." " Look... no more stains." "(Door opens and shuts )" "Good morning, Mr Grier." " You're late, Herriot." "I came as early as I could." " I'll tell you this just once!" "My staff will be present and ready for duty at 8am." "Have you got that now?" " I have a fair bit to drive." "My one pet hate is young smart alecks always making excuses." "I didn't have to come here today." "Didn't you?" "You'd prefer to leave a sick man to cope on his own?" "Please don't twist my meaning." " I can read you like a book." "Whatever you say." " And those are terrible breeches." "What's wrong with them?" " Wrong?" "Look at 'em!" "Well, they are just my working trousers." "Well, I'll not have my staff looking like down-and-out hunger marchers!" "Sorry." " And as for that mac - looks like the leftover from a moth's banquet." "Not fit to be worn by a veterinary surgeon, is it?" "I'm sorry if it offends you." "You're representing me now, Herriot." "I'll not have you giving my practice a bad name." "I think I should do some work." "Aye." "Just as well." "Here's your visits for this morning." "First, Adamson of Grenton." "He's got a sick calf that's chesty." "Have you seen it?" " Aye, it's just a chill." "Just leave more chest mixture." "And don't hang about." " You've checked for infections?" "Don't try and teach me my job, Herriot!" "Just you do as I say and we'll get on fine." "Now off with you." "New to t'job, are you?" "Yes, well, I'm learning fast." " Don't worry, lad." "I believe in new blood and new ideas." "The old ways have stood too long." "I'm worried about her." "Her chest doesn't seem to be getting better." "How long has she been like this?" "Over a week now." "Well, it can't be all that serious." "I'll give you another bottle of that chest mixture." "It's not doing her much good." " Oh, I'm sure she'll soon pick up." "Oh, well, you're the veterinary." "(Door opens )" "Is that you, Herriot?" " Yes, Mr Grier." "You're late!" " It was a lot to get through." "If you're not in time for supper, you do without." "Sorry." " It's not a hotel, you know." "How did you get on, then?" " Oh, no problems." "Oh, just one thing - Mr Adamson's stirk." "What about it?" "Are you sure it's just a chest cold?" "I told you my opinion on that." "Well, the congestion's getting worse." "I think it's husk." "Oh, you do, do you?" "I think it's worth checking for lungworm, yes." "Oh, Mr Know-It-All thinks it might be husk, does he?" "Well, I've managed without your help for 35 years." "I think I can carry on without it for a bit yet." "She was coughing bad last night." "Like coughing worms, she was." "It looks like husk, Mr Grier." "Aye, I can see that." "Will you see to it yourself, Mr Grier?" "I don't hold it against you, lad." "I'm sorry." "I should've spotted it and done something about it." "Isn't that so, Mr Grier?" " Reckon you did your best." "We'll soon have your beast to right, Mr Adamson." "Herriot, give the beast an intertracheal injection." "It's a pity we didn't spot it earlier, eh, Mr Grier?" "Sit down, Herriot, and make yourself comfortable." "Well, we got through the list, didn't we?" "And we got back in time for you to share a little birthday supper that Mrs Grier's arranged for me." "Mr Grier..." " (Phone )" "Dinna refuse." "She'd be delighted for you to feast with us." "(Phone )" " Phone, Edna!" "After all's said and done, the day went well." "You know what kind of day it's been!" "As long as the customers are happy!" "You listen to me..." " The woman's on the phone again." "(Grier) What woman?" " He knows very well what woman." "Animals." "Animals." "Nothing but animals all over the place day and night." "What woman?" "That nice Mrs Mallard." "Always on the phone." "Says her dog's got a bone stuck in his throat." "(Tuts )" " Stuck in his throat." "Where's it all going to end?" "Bone stuck in his throat." "Well, yes, these things do happen, Edna, my dear." ""What's he going to do?" I ask myself." "Don't worry, Edna." "I'll deal with her." "He can't go there tonight with his arm hanging loose like that." "No, of course not." " I said leave it to me, Edna." "No, he can't." "Not tonight." "Not on his birthday." "Birthday. (Whimpering)" "It's all right." "I'll deal with it." " Very well, Herriot." "He'll make sure she pays him?" "Er, yes." "Don't worry, Edna." "And you mark my words, one of these days, that dog of hers will swallow one bone too many." "(Laughs ) Well, you know how the ladies are, Herriot." "Don't quite understand what we have to deal with." "You will pop along and see Mrs Mallard?" "Her address is on the files." "This has happened to her dog before, I gather?" "Aye, you could say that." "I'll need forceps..." " I don't think so." "More than likely, it'll be a case of pharyngitis." "Pharyngitis?" "You can't be sure of that, Mr Grier!" "Angus." "Take my word on it, laddie, just take along the bottle of mixture." "Oh, and if you can't find anything wrong, don't say so." "Got to justify your visit, you see." "♪ I long for you, body and soul" "♪ I spend my days in longing... ♪" "(Doorbell)" " Come in." "The door's open!" "♪ I tell you, I mean it... ♪" "Good evening, Mrs Mallard." "My name is Herriot." "Oh, yes?" " Can I see the patient, please?" "Patient?" "I'm afraid I don't quite understand you, Mr, er..." "Herriot." " Of course." "I see you're expecting company, so we'd better get on with it." "On with what, Mr Herriot?" "You are the Mrs Mallard who telephoned?" "Yes, my name's Mallard." " You said your dog..." "Oh!" "You've come about Wilkie." "A dog with a bone in his throat?" " Mr Grier sent you, is that it?" "That's right." " Well, sit down, won't you?" "Thank you." " So he's not coming?" "Afraid not." "Mr Grier's had an accident." "Accident?" " Nothing very serious." "Just a fracture of the arm." " Oh, I see." "Well, may I see the dog now, please?" "Oh, well, actually, Wilkie's a lot better now." "I should check him to be sure." "It's not as serious as I thought." "Can't neglect things like bones in throats." "So let's get on with it, if you please." "Very well." "Wilkie!" " Thank you." "(Barking)" "(James ) Ah!" "There you are." " Thank you." "Good dog." " Sit, boy." "He seems sprightly enough." "There's a good dog." "Ah." "There's no sign of a bone, Mrs Mallard." "There's no sign of fever." "I suppose it could be pharyngitis." "A touch of what, Mr Herriot?" "(Clears throat) Pharyngitis." "You see that inflammation?" "Yes, I think I do see something." "I suppose it could be he swallowed some irritant." "I expect that's it." "Good thing you came." "(Hissing)" " Excuse me." "The supper's boiling over." "I'll leave you a mixture." "It'll soon clear it up." ""Darling Angus"." "Sorry about that, Mr Herriot." "I've left the mixture on the mantelpiece." "Ah." "Yes, thank you very much." "So kind of you to come." "Oh." "Well, I'll be off now." "Good night, Mrs Mallard." "(Record ends )" "Good night, Mr Herriot." "I'll be off back to Darrowby, Mr Grier." "Er, dram?" " No, thanks." "Thank you for your help, Herriot." "It's an experience working with you." "You could've done worse." "Oh, by the way, I'd keep an eye on that dog of Mrs Mallard's." "I'm not sure I take your meaning, laddie." "That pharyngitis - it looks to me as if it could flare up again at any minute." "Bye, now." "James?" " Yes." "Can you come down here?" " Right." "Hm?" " A visitor for you, darling." "Who?" " You'll see." "Mrs Donovan!" "But that's not..." "Aye, it's Roy." "Haven't I done well by him?" "Oh, he's magnificent!" " Aye, I've brought him on summat." "What is in your patent nostrums?" "Aye, wouldn't you like to know, Mr Herriot?" "Mm-hm." " Any road, we'll be off now." "I just thought you'd like to see how Roy was." "Only you could've done it." " Aye." "I reckon you're right at that." "Come on, Roy." "Come on, boy." "There's a good boy, off you come." "Goodbye, Mr Herriot." "(Both) Bye, Mrs Donovan." "Ah, there you are." "All hands to the sitting room." "Time for an important announcement." " Oh." "Right." "Are we all present?" "Then let us commence." "Have a glass of sherry." " Thank you, Siegfried." "Thanks." "A celebration, Siegfried?" "In a way." "Yes, in a way." "Tristan." " Oh, thank you, Siegfried." "Nothing for you, old girl." "Now..." "I know you're wondering what this is all about." "We are, rather." "It's in the nature of a public confession." "You're aware that I have on occasion been severely critical of a certain member of this household - my infant brother here." "Tristan." " Tristan." "I freely admit that my opinion of him has from time to time been exceedingly low." "I've found fault with his work, his habits, his apparent lack of dedication." "I felt there was very little to justify confidence in his attitude." "Well, to be perfectly frank, I was wrong." "What I took to be the symptoms of a deeply incompetent nature were in fact the first youthful stumblings towards... the very highest standards of excellence." "In short, I'm guilty of a gross error of judgement." "(Tristan ) Too generous of you." " It's the truth." "I could say merit is its own reward but I'll make amends practically." "Tristan, just as soon as you've officially qualified, it's my intention - and I'm sure James will second it - to offer you a partnership in the firm." "Agreed and seconded." " Thank you." "Tristan, what do you say?" "Well, it's awfully kind of you, Siegfried, but..." "No false modesty." "It'll be some time before I'm able to accept your offer." "I don't quite follow you." "Qualifying will take longer than I thought." "Your results are a mere formality." " Well, not quite." "You're not making yourself awfully clear." "The thing is, I've already had the results." "When?" " They're not quite what I expected." "Tristan, I find your reaction extraordinarily unsettling." "What did you get?" "Pass, honours, distinction?" "What?" "Good Lord, no." "The whole thing's been a bit of a disaster, really." "Tristan knows the subject." " Yes, and he can sit them again." "Nerves won't be a problem then." "That's what did it, you see." "Happens to many brilliant chaps - freezing in exams, isn't that so?" " Do you mean you failed?" "It's a temporary setback." "Just one summer." "It's not as if you're an idiot." "Failed?" "!" "Siegfried." " Steady on, Siegfried." "That's their verdict." "Useless." "Good for nothing." "By Jove, that was close." "If I hadn't chosen my moment well, you'd be shovelling me out of the pig trough." "You are the limit, both of you!" "The absolute limit!" "Did you see the look on his face when I told him?" "Now, then, Tristan, I've given this matter some thought." "There's no point making a song and dance about this career setback." "It would be silly to discourage the excellent standards you've set for yourself of late." "So persist in your spartan denial of alcohol and tobacco and continue your regime of early rising and hard exercise." "And I'd like you to be on hand three nights a week for emergency night calls." "That'll keep you in from time to time to study." "Yes?" "(James laughs )" " Good." "Let's drink to that, then!"