"PALIN:" "Hungary, land of the Magyars, has had a tough 20th century." "Nlnety years ago this bridge connected two parts of Hungary, but after defeat In World War One, they lost so much land that this Is now an International frontier." "But the cathedral on the hill at Esztergom remains one of the great symbols of Hungarlan national pride." "Domlnatlng the Danube, It was where Stephen, their first Chrlstlan king, was crowned 1,000 years ago." "The castle at Vlsegrad Is another reminder of a proud past, and In the town below, crowds are gathering to celebrate the heroic years of the Mlddle Ages." "But more recent traumas are clearly not forgotten." "It's interesting, these are maps of Hungary before World War 0ne, when it was actually two-thirds bigger than it is now!" "The land was taken away by the Peace Treaty of Trianon in 1 920!" "And, I mean, obviously they're selling a lot, so it's obviously something that smoulders deeply under the surface there for the Hungarians!" "PALIN:" "Today It's the 1 5th century they're celebrating, the days of Matthlas Corvlnus, the king who raised one of Europe's first standing armies and helped rally the peoples of Europe to take arms against the Ottoman Turks." "(MEN CHANTING MEDIEVAL MARCHING S0NG IN HUNGARIAN)" "Here In Vlsegrad, the days of valour and chivalry are remembered, and Hungary's golden age Is brought briefly back to life." "One of the highlights Is a display of horseback archery by Lajos Kassal." "It was a skill perfected by the armies of Attlla the Hun." "Thls technique was a military breakthrough." "An arrow fired at the gallop had twice the piercing power of one fired from stationary." "Kassal can shoot 1 2 of them In 1 7 seconds." "As he puts lt, "Every Hungarlan feels In his heart he Is Attlla. "" "Further down the river In the little town of Szentendre, history moves on a bit." "I've been Invited to meet some people In a house built as recently as the 1 600s." "Hope it's the right house, otherwise we're in!" "I think so!" "Hello, is this the Eredics?" "Hello!" "I'm Michael!" "Well, then it is the right place!" " Yes, right place!" " Thank you, thank you!" "Hello, I'm Michael!" "I'm told this is the one place in Hungary where everything happens!" " Yeah!" "Hello!" "How are you?" " Hello!" "0h, I say!" "There you go!" "Hello, I'm Michael!" "PALIN:" "The Eredlcs family are almost all musicians who play and tour together, and, like many In thls town, came here long ago from Serbla." "Ah, some goulash bubbling!" "Is this goulash or is it just!" "It's goldfish, I see!" "Heated goldfish pond!" "PALIN AND MAN:" "Mmm!" "MAN:" "Very spicy!" "Well done!" "PALIN:" "The goldfish, I have to say, are absolutely wonderful, even If they do taste a bit like pork." "MAN:" "Mixed soups are very popular!" "PALIN:" "Yeah, yeah!" "Very popular!" "English soups are a bit thin!" "These are big, sort of full and chunky!" "In England, we'd say this is a stew!" "MAN:" "Yeah!" "PALIN:" "Almost!" "MAN:" "Yeah, this is not stew, it's a soup!" "Yeah!" "PALIN:" "After the meal they display not just their virtuosity, but the Gypsy Influences that seem to lie at the heart of Central European music." "(PLAYING LIVELY TRADITl0NAL MUSIC)" "Very sadly, the time comes to leave this talented and hospitable family and embark on the last leg of my journey to Budapest." "Oh, dear, It's gone without me." "Oh, well, there's bound to be another along soon." "And the later you arrive In Budapest, the better." "The city at night Is magnificent." "I'm staying at the Gellert, a Budapest landmark." "Now nearly 90 years old, its glories may be fading, but the Gellert still sits at the heart of Budapest life." "I look out at Freedom Brldge, which connects what were once two cities," "Buda and, on the other side, Pest." "The river Is as busy as the roads, as boats leave for Bratlslava and Vlenna." "The Gellert Spa comes with Instructions." ""Please read carefully our short Introduction" ""to the usage of the spa facilities," ""which will help you to enjoy the unique experience" ""of the 80-year-old Gellert bath." ""From the hotel you have to go to the elevator" ""at the north wing of the building," ""which you can access on the second, third, or fourth floors." ""Follow the signs and you won't miss the manned elevator." ""Best practice Is, If you change In your own room or suite" ""and you enter the elevator In your bathing suit and bathrobe, 'you won't waste time with changing" ""or spending valuable minutes In the locker rooms. "" "This way for the pool?" ""Durlng the trip with the elevator," ""from the attendant you wlll get a plastic card," ""which you'll need to get through the entrance gate" ""when entering and leaving the baths area. "" " 0h, this is the famous card I need?" " Yes!" " To get into the pool?" "Always have this!" " Yes!" "For pool, you have that!" "Thank you!" " Please!" "Have a great time!" " Thank you!" ""As you come out of this elevator, please turn to the right" ""and show the bar code on the card to the sensor screen at the entry machine." ""Walk through the main hall past the public cash desk." ""Flrst entrance on the right Is the thermal baths for ladies only." ""In the centre Is the Indoor swimming pool" ""and the access to the outdoor pool" ""and then the entrance to the thermal baths for gentlemen," ""which Is the third entrance on the right." ""In case of any question, please turn to our front desk staff," ""or the hostess of the baths. "" "(W0MAN SPEAKING HUNGARIAN 0VER PA)" "By the time I reach the sun terrace, I feel like Ulysses." "And not a moment too soon." "My body's whiter than the towels." "Ahl That's better." "No sooner have I started sunbathing than I feel an urgent need to cool down." "The pool looks wonderfully Invltlng." "But deep In the bowels of the hotel, something Is stirring." "(BELL RINGING)" "No one had warned me that every hour, on the hour, the paddler's peace Is shattered." "Wave after wave scours the pool like a rip tide." "The Gellert wave machine Is In action, as It has been since the 1 930s." "Toddlers, teenagers and TVpresenters are tossed about like flotsam." "Oh, It's wonderfull" "The finest building on the waterfront Is the Parllament, built at the height of the Austro-Hungarlan Emplre." "My guide Is Peter Zwack, who as a child escaped Nazl-occupled Budapest." "He later became Hungarlan Ambassador In Washlngton and after that an Independent MP." "So he knows his way around." "PALIN:" "Was this wonderful building much damaged during the war?" "ZWACK:" "Very!" "It was very bad!" "It was first bombed by the Soviets!" "ZWACK:" "And afterwards by the Allies!" "PALIN:" "Yeah!" "And the city, you can still see it today, even though the city was rebuilt pretty much!" " Yeah!" " But you can see bullet holes and!" "PALIN:" "In the extravagantly grand Chamber of Representatives, deputies sat throughout the Communlst years, rubber-stamplng decisions made at Party Headquarters." "I never thought this would change!" "I thought until my death we were going to live under Communism here!" "And it happened one day to the other!" "If you were in parliament now, Peter, what would you be fighting for?" "I'd be still fighting for corruption!" " PALIN:" "Against corruption!" " I would still like to see it go away!" "But today, the biggest problem in a small country like this is envy!" "Envy, jealousy, hatred, because there's such social differences due to the breaking in of freedom!" "People got very rich illegally, so there is a real hatred towards these new rich!" "PALIN:" "Nothlng I've learnt on my journey prepares me for Hungarlan, one of Europe's least-spoken languages." "But I'm determined to give It a try and have chosen the Budapest subway system as my first victim." "This is dangerous, but I've been learning this for weeks!" "We'll see if it works!" "(SPEAKING HUNGARIAN)" "Am I going to get a hippopotamus?" "No, a ticket!" "Brilliant!" "Thank you!" "How much?" "(SPEAKING HUNGARIAN)" "(MAN SPEAKING HUNGARIAN 0VER PA)" "PALIN:" "Opened In 1 896, this was the very first underground system In mainland Europe." "I get off halfway along Andrassy, the smart boulevard of Budapest, one of whose neoclassical mansions harbours a sinister past." "There was one house on this grand and elegant street where you never wanted to end up!" "For a while, it was the most feared address in Budapest!" "60 Andrassy Street!" "PALIN:" "Now a museum called the House of Terror," "Number 60 had been headquarters of both Fasclst and, later, Communlst secret police." "(W0MAN SPEAKING HUNGARIAN 0VER PA)" "On display In one gallery Is the propaganda of Communlsm." "It projected a wholesome, progressive world." "But as early as 1 956, the Hungarlan people could see through lt." "MAN 0N TV:" "Throughout the city Sovlet war memorials come crashing down." "Budapest Is In revolt." "Wlth uncontrolled fury, crowds set fire to Russlan flags and put Sovlet books to the torch." "A red star Is sent tumbling Into the gutter." "PALIN:" "The Hungarlan uprising was the first big test of Moscow's control of her European satellites." "MAN 0N TV:" "Rebels ride their tanks triumphantly through the streets." "The Russlans have given their word that they will withdraw all Communlst troops from Hungarlan soll." "The victory seems complete." "(MAN 0N TV SPEAKING HUNGARIAN)" "PALIN:" "But the troops did go back In." "The uprising was crushed and its leaders subjected to a show trial." "In a room papered with legal documents, the film of the trial runs on a loop," "Including the moment when the ultimate punishment was passed on Prlme Mlnlster Imre Nagy, a Communlst, but not Moscow's kind of Communlst." "(SENTENCE BEING READ IN HUNGARIAN)" "Hungary had to walt more than 30 years before It could properly taste the freedom It had come so close to winning In 1 956." "(MAN SPEAKING HUNGARIAN 0N TV)" "PALIN:" "But perhaps the most unsettling exhibit" "In the House of Terror Is In the lift." "It's a macabre Interview with a retired prison service employee who attended executions." "(MAN 0N TV SPEAKING HUNGARIAN)" "After the uprising, thousands of Hungarlans were executed In places like this, along with their prime minister, Imre Nagy." "More than a quarter of a million fled abroad." "It's a relief to get back to the noise and bustle of the boulevard." "But the one good thing about the whole grim story" "Is that, In 1 989, there was a reburial ceremony for Imre Nagy here In Heroes Square." "Maybe It's a leftover from the wealthy years at the heart of a Central European empire, but Budapest exudes a stylishly confident approach to the way things look, and Kattl Zoob, a theatrical costumier turned designer," "Is carrying on the tradition with some very cool fashions." "Then why on earth has she asked me to be one of her models?" " Hello!" "Hello!" " Hello, welcome!" "It's Michael!" "Yes!" "Yes, I've come to this palace of beauty to be dressed for something or other!" "Welcome!" "So please follow me!" "Katti's already waiting for you!" "I'm in your hands!" "0kay, all right!" "Thanks!" "PALIN:" "I've been In a terrible tlzzy as to what to wear." "I mean, these are not my sort of places at all." "Lovely room!" "Think I'd look nice in one of those?" "W0MAN:" "I know!" "It's wonderful!" "PALIN:" "Hello!" "Z00B:" "Hello!" "W0MAN:" "Katti, I would like to introduce Michael to you!" "PALIN:" "Hello!" "Z00B:" "Hello!" "Hi, Michael!" "Thank you!" "PALIN:" "Very, very nice to meet you!" "Z00B:" "Nice to meet you!" "PALIN:" "Yes, you've been very busy!" "Z00B: 0h, thank you!" "PALIN:" "Yeah, lots of wonderful things!" "I don't know what you can do for me!" "Z00B:" "You are my favourite!" "(ALL LAUGHING)" "Yeah, we're going behind the screens, I think!" "Thank you very much!" "Z00B:" "Hello!" "PALIN:" "Yes!" "Thank you!" "Thank you very much!" "PALIN:" "Well, that puts me at my ease a bit." "(LAUGHING AND GIGGLING)" "(SPEAKING HUNGARIAN)" " What, is that!" " It's enough, thank you very much!" "0ne leg's longer than the other!" "Is that really?" " Really?" " Don't you measure the inside leg?" " No!" "Sorry, no!" " No, no!" "I'm just asking!" " Because most shop assistants do it!" " Because maybe I have a mistake!" "(SPEAKING IN HUNGARIAN)" "Thank you!" "You just sort of roughly!" " I have good eyes!" " You roughly sort of cover that!" " I have very good eyes!" " Yeah!" "(LAUGHING) All right!" "I'm rather frightened about this, to be honest, Katti!" "So can you set my mind at rest?" "This show will be some special, special event for angels and devils!" " And I would like, if you!" " To be a devil!" " No!" " Aw, I want to be a devil!" " A little bit devil, a little bit angel!" " 0h, yes!" "All right!" "For example, front side is angel!" "Yes!" " 0r front side the devil!" " Yeah!" " I think it will be interesting!" " So I'm going to be sort of bi-moral?" "I mean, a bit good, a bit bad!" "Sorry, that was just!" " Bi-moral, like bisexual!" " Mmm-hmm!" " Bi-moral!" " Really?" "Would you like a skirt?" "Erm!" "No, I mean no!" " Some lace?" " I think!" "Well, I might try that later, but I think the trousers are probably better!" " Black lace skirt with white lining!" " Yes, yes, now you're talking!" " A sort of see-through kilt!" " No!" "I would like!" "(B0TH LAUGHING)" "PALIN:" "Tonlght I'm seeing a rather different side of Budapest." "I've been Invited to eat at the Karpatla, which proclaims itself" ""the classic Hungarlan restaurant of Budapest since 1 877"." "The owner, Akos Niklai, wants me to hear his discoveries, two Gypsy vlollnlsts, father and son." "Thelr piece de resistance Is an Intricate piece by the Romanlan composer Dlnlcu calledThe Lark, and It always brings the house down." "(PLAYING THE LARK)" "PALIN:" "What a larkl" "As they take a break," "Akos deals gracefully with some rather impertinent questions." "Hungarians were people with impeccable taste and very inventive people, but you haven't had much luck in wars!" "You've always sort of backed the losing side!" "Well, it happens twice to Hungary!" "But it is not always depending on the Hungarians, of course, due to the location of the Hungary!" "As a result of this, I think 50% of the territory of Hungary was taken away!" "And, again, in the Second World War we had bad luck, but you also have to remember the location of Hungary, where we are located and, obviously, Hungary has a sort of strategic location!" "Do you find there's any tendency in Hungarians to be depressive?" "I read somewhere that the country had the highest suicide rate in the world!" "I would say yes and no!" "(HESITATING)" "Hungarians have different moods!" "Sometimes we are very sad and sometimes we are extremely happy!" "But there are situations when it is hard to handle the pressure, maybe we are a little bit depressed, but!" " Aren't we all?" " That's life!" "PALIN:" "Another example of Hungarlan flair Is a national drink called Unlcum, a digestif produced to a secret formula by none other than my friend Peter Zwack, and he's asked me to a tasting." "In the cellars, he tells me how huge barrels of It were once used to bridge the Danube." "ZWACK:" "These barrels were floated on the Danube, as so-called pontoon bridges, because the temporary wooden bridges were housed on top of these barrels!" "PALIN:" "A pontoon of Unicum barrels!" "ZWACK:" "Pontoon of Unicum barrels!" "PALIN:" "Was the Unicum in the barrels at the time?" "ZWACK:" "That I don't know!" "I don't know if they would have sunk or not!" "PALIN:" "They didn't realise what a powerful bridge it was!" " Yeah!" " How popular is Unicum, Peter?" "Well, thank God, it's very, very popular, because if you take Hungary, which is a population of ten million people, we sell five million bottles only in Hungary!" "So every second Hungarian drinks it!" "So it's very, very popular!" " So who knows the secret?" " It's still in the family!" "Now it's actually my wife and I who know it!" "0bviously, we can't afford to divorce, you know?" "But it's really a secret recipe!" "And we very carefully watch it!" "It's rather complicated how you!" "The herbs in Unicum come from all over the world!" "ZWACK:" "It's unique!" "There's nothing like it!" "And the success of it is, I always kiddingly even say that 50% of the people will never drink it again once they try it, but the other 50% gets hooked on it!" "They will never drink anything else!" " This is the moment of truth!" " The moment of truth!" " You know, when you taste this!" " Yes!" "!" "I hope we're going to not end our short-born friendship!" "No, we'll remain friends, but you might have to come and visit me in hospital!" "ZWACK: 0kay!" "You have to sort of tap it a little bit because!" "PALIN: 0h, I see!" " There we go!" " You drink it, do you, every day?" "I drink it every day!" "I drink one shot like this," " Half a glass, every evening!" " 0kay!" "Two glasses of wine and Unicum!" "Well, here we go!" "Let's see if I'm one of the 50% who do or the 50% who don't!" "Knock it back in one?" " No!" " No!" "All right!" "0kay, a sip!" "I would say sip it!" "Enjoy it, if you can!" "Mmm!" "That's magnificent!" "It really is!" "I love that!" "It's like being in the forest in the middle of a gale!" "Everything is blown at you!" "All sorts of tastes and!" " I love the definition!" " It's very!" " 0h, very lively!" "Great!" " Complex!" "Yes!" "And it's a bit fiery later on!" "Yeah!" "Hmm!" " It is like a sort of blast of!" " Yeah!" "!" "Concentrated mountain countryside!" "PALIN:" "I've just one more engagement left In thls seductive city." "Tonlght Is my debut as a model at Kattl Zoob's summer show." " You usually go and have a quiet!" " We are ready!" "Everything is under control!" "Because I have a lot of courage!" "And you've done it before, haven't you?" "You've done this before, you've talked to audiences and they all love you!" "I bet they go," ""Yeah, Katti!" "Wow, yeah, my girl!"" "Well, I'll let you have a little bit of peace and quiet!" "I'll go talk to some of my fellow models!" "PALIN: 6.:30 and the guests are arriving." "Suddenly, It's, well, serious." "The doors are drawn back and the eyes of Budapest's fashionistas turn expectantly towards me." "Hello!" "Good evening!" "As the oldest and the least beautiful of all the models here tonight, it is a great honour nevertheless for me to be able to start this show!" "As you can see, Katti has brought out the devil in me tonight, and this is going to be the theme of the show!" "And she is a marvellous designer!" "It's been wonderful to work with her!" "And now it's time!" "0n with the show!" "(INSTRUMENTAL R0CK MUSIC PLAYING)" "PALIN:" "It's all over far too soon for my liking, but, thanks to Kattl, my transformation from quiet Sheffleld lad to outrageous, old fashion queen Is complete." "Keletl Statlon Is Budapest's gateway to the east." "In its size, scale and the flourish of its architecture," "It's typically Hungarlan." "I'm looking for the Tlsza Express that runs between Budapest and Lvlv In the Ukralne." "The Tlsza, named after the second river of Hungary, connects the capital with agricultural lands to the east." "I've grown rather used to being In Budapest," "It's so much the centre of the country, with about 20% of the population living here." "I've little Idea what the countryside beyond will look and feel like." "I just hope the flowers aren't plastic, like the ones on the train." "Now this looks like my sort of place." "Mad Is well worth the detour, for despite the angry and, possibly, mad dogs," "It's the home of something rather special." "This is Mad!" "Well, actually the joke doesn't work so well in Hungarian because there's an accent, so it's actually "Maad"!" "But it's a small, modest village, yet on the slopes here are grown one of the most highly prized wines in the world!" "PALIN:" "These are the vines from which the renowned sweet wine Tokay Is made." "Durlng the Sovlet years they produced quantity rather than quality, but now skilled winemakers can produce bottles costing several hundred pounds." "The secret Is mixing wine from these grapes with others affected by botrytis, or noble rot, which produces Aszu, a juice from which wine Is made of the colour and price of gold." "Istvan Turoczl manages production for the Brltlsh-owned Royal Tokajl Company." "TUR0CZl:" "It's a lovely, lovely cellar stretching back to quite a long time!" " Yeah!" " Hundreds of years!" "PALIN:" "The wine Is matured In dark caves over a hundred feet below ground, a suitable place for Istvan to tell me of the mysterious power of Tokay Aszu." "I mean, it's been a very famous wine for a long time!" "I mean, who are the great people who've enjoyed this?" "For example, the Queen Mother loved it very much, who lived for 1 02 years!" "She loved Tokay wine, Aszu wines!" " 0ur Queen Mother?" " Yes, she did!" "Did she?" "Ah, yes, she was very discerning, yeah!" "And who else?" "Queen Victoria, who got as present a dozen of Aszu wine for each birthday!" "The number of dozens were as much as her age!" "So it ended at her birthday of 81 with 972 bottles of Aszu wine of different very good vintages of each region!" " The advantage of living a long time!" " Yes!" "Did they ever get any reaction from Queen Victoria?" "Did she say, "Look, you can stop now!" "I'm not going to finish these"?" "0r did she like the wine?" "I think she loved the wine as well as Queen Elizabeth!" "PALIN:" "The beautiful nlne-arch bridge, built almost two hundred years ago, carries me over the Tlsza Rlver toward the Puszta, the great Hungarlan plain." "Legend has It that this land of distant horizons was where Attlla the Hun died of a nasal flux brought on by strenuous sexual activity with his new bride." "If only the bicycle had been Invented then, he could have had a much more healthy hobby." "Nowadays the plain Is the province of cowboys, called csikos, and their herds of massive and rather Intlmldatlng Hungarlan grey cattle." "Tradltlonal methods are still used here." "The csikos water their livestock from shadoof-style wells" "Ilke those I've seen In Afrlca." "Thank you!" "Thls Is now a national park, and the survival of the Hungarlan cowboy Is In the hands of visitors like us." "Plcklng up the Tlsza Express again," "I take It through to the frontier town of Zahony, and from there across Into the Ukralne, my 1 2th country so far." "Crosslng the border Is an uplifting experience." "Qulte literally." "This is Chop, just over the Ukrainian border!" "It's the middle of the night, and because of the incompatibility of the European and Russian rail networks, they're on a different gauge," "every coach has to be sort of jacked up into the air!" "They've got to physically change all the bogies there!" "And that's what they're doing at the moment, and, well, you can see people are on the train in the middle of the night and six feet up in the air!" "These will all be changed!" "I mean, it is quite dramatic!" "But who's going to change?" "The Russian rail network or the European rail network?" "This goes on!" "PALIN:" "The train having been re-wheeled In an hour flat, we're on our way and back to sleep." "A grey dawn In the Carpathlans." "The weather's very different on this side of the mountains." "Not the most beautiful Introduction to the city of Lvlv, whose Identity has been as murky as the weather, changing its name four times In the last ninety years." "Thank you!" "Thank you very much!" "PALIN:" "Slnce 1 99 1, It's been the western gateway to the Ukralne." "(CHURCH BELL RINGING)" "Over the last century armies and administrations swept In and out of Lvlv with alarming regularity, but It was always the Intellectual and spiritual home of Ukralnlan nationalism." "It's not a great day for sightseeing, or for getting married." "And they're digging the streets up." "But the prosperity that came from Lvlv's days as a frontier town between Europe and Russla has left a legacy even the weather can't dampen." "A damp morning in the Carpathians and now a wet Sunday in Lviv, but are we downhearted?" "No, because, for me at any rate, this place is an undiscovered gem!" "At various times in its history it's been Austrian, German," "Polish, Russian, now Ukrainian!" "And it shows!" "I mean, you look around it even on a lousy day like this, this a truly European city!" "Lvlv Is somewhere I'll come back to." "It has a civilised charm that deserves another chance." "And the dogs are friendly." "I've been this way before." "But when I last took a train to Klev, It wasn't part of the Ukralne." "I was filming Pole To Pole and this was still the USSR." "On that journey, I got talking to a young Ukralnlan called Vadlm Castelll." "He said he sensed something In the air, something dangerous and exciting." "I see Ukrainian history being revived!" "I see Ukrainian culture, you know, the culture which many people thought is gone forever!" "Now we're getting back to some of our roots!" "There is so much to do here!" "If one feels Ukrainian, if one feels one's roots, this is a very exciting period to live through in the history of this land!" "PALIN:" "And so It proved to be." "The collapse of the USSR led eventually to the election of Vlktor Yushchenko as Presldent and the charismatic Yulla Tymoshenko as Prlme Mlnlster." "They called It the Orange Revolution." "(SPEAKING UKRAINIAN)" "But Vlktor and Yulla fell out, and when I arrive In Klev for a second time, the ecstatic scenes In Independence Square are already a distant memory." "There are still tents In the square, but there's a confusion In the camps." "An election has just delivered a hung parliament." "Yulla can't work with Vlktor, and Vlktor can't work with parties that support closer links to Russla." "There's deadlock and, until It's broken, the faithful are pledged to stay on the streets." "Who better to turn to for an explanation than the stranger I met on the train all those years ago?" "Vadim, the eyes of the world were on this square during the 0range Revolution about a couple of years ago, and the flags are out again!" "Is this democracy in action in Ukraine?" "You know, the real problem is that many people in this country, after so many years of Russian Empire and of the Soviet Empire, they were used to being ruled by a strong hand which does everything very effectively without thinking about" "such stupid things as democracy or, you know, human rights or whatever it is!" "So when we suddenly got this president that we have now, and this kind of a new government which is democratic in its ideas, which means slow and not as effective as the authoritarian regimes, many people just don't get it!" "They say, "0h, we want a strong!" "We want discipline, we want order!"" "There's a lot of young people out there in the tented city!" "I mean, do they believe in a democratic future for Ukraine?" "I think they are beginning to understand that this strange beast called democracy includes a number of very problematic things that young people want to have!" "Like a possibility to go abroad and to study there!" "Like a possibility to speak openly without being afraid of the policemen behind you!" "We last met 1 5 years ago, and you sort of made your prediction, you said," ""Things are going to move slowly, but they are going to change!"" "When we next meet, if we're both still alive in 1 5 years' time, what do you think you'll be saying about the world then and about Ukraine?" "Ukraine, by that time, should be much more sovereign, much more independent, well, of course, much more prosperous!" "Hopefully a part, a real part, of the European family!" "And perhaps led politically by a good-looking lady!" " Who could that be?" " Well there are a couple of!" "0h, there's a few photos around, I noticed!" " Let's have a look!" " Yes, her!" "CASTELLl:" "How do you like that lady over there?" "PALIN: 0h, yes, she's nice!" "Would you like to run Ukraine?" "CASTELLl:" "Who knows?" "In 1 5 years she can grow up to become a leading politician!" "PALIN:" "Baslng her appeal on an image of wholesome Ukralnlan womanhood," "Yulla Tymoshenko Is still eye-catchlng, but now she has competition from her daughter." "In a Klev monastery, Eugenla Tymoshenko recently married Sean Carr, a market trader from Leeds." "Sean's not a politician." "(HEAVY R0CK MUSIC PLAYING)" "# Satan's laughing and he cracks a joke" "# The whole world is going up in smoke #" "He's a Death Valley Screamer." "Unable to make much headway In the UK, the group he founded has taken Ukralne by storm." "# Come on, Eastern Europe" "# Come on, Eastern Europe" "# Take it up, come on #" "Sean and Eugenla have thrown themselves behind the Tymoshenko campaign, and I catch up with them on a morale-boostlng visit to the troops." "I mean, Sean, you know, you're a Yorkshireman!" "We don't do this sort of thing in England, do we?" " Put up tents in Westminster Square?" " Good Lord, no!" "I don't know, it's!" "What do you think of it?" "At first, I thought it was very, very strange!" "It was a massive shock, but now it's!" "They need to do this!" "This a last, well, not just a last resort, but this is a peaceful way of resolving things!" "It's an amazing situation, and amazing to meet someone like yourself here, so we'll watch, we'll see what goes on!" " Let's have a look around!" " All right!" "0kay!" "PALIN:" "I'm not the only one following them around, and as they don't get much time to themselves here, they Invite me to their country house for lunch the next day." "(BORN TO BE WILD PLAYING)" "Sean doesn't do public transport, or a saddle, actually." "But he doesn't half get you there fast." " That's the way to arrive!" "Thanks!" " 0kay!" "PALIN:" "The bike may be top of the market, but the house, In the woods outside Klev," "Is quite modest by the standards of pop aristocracy." "As we sit and have a drink," "I can't help thinking that my fellow Yorkshlreman fits In rather well here." "There's a touch of a Cossack about him." "Does your mother-in-law like your music, Sean?" "Yeah, she likes, she likes it to a certain extent!" "I wouldn't imagine she would go out there and bop around to it, but, yeah, she likes what we're doing!" "I think she appreciates that we've worked really hard and we've brought a new sort of music here!" "It's very strange because what we do in England," "I mean, you see it every night in a pub!" "You know, you walk in, there's a band playing!" "Whereas here, you play and the reaction is just phenomenal!" "Everybody!" "I mean, we've had 70-year-old grandmas coming down wearing Death Valley Screamer shirts and they're all bopping around!" "It's just like, hang on a minute!" "What's going on here?" "It's fantastic!" "Do you think that, sorry!" "Yeah, I was just going to say that my mom wanted to keep him dressed on the stage, because he always takes his shirt off!" "You know, she was worried about that, but after some time she accepted it as the way to be!" "Rock 'n' roll!" "PALIN:" "That's very English, you know!" "You have fun, you take your shirt off," "CARR:" "Yeah, put your hair down!" "If your mother came to power, do you think there'd be a chance of a cabinet post for Sean?" "Minister of Culture?" "Yeah, he wants be Minister of Roads, I think!" "CARR:" "I'd get the roads sorted out!" "It's the first job!" "I think Sean would be a good advisor, you know, on the system of the roads and how they should be!" "PALIN:" "Minister of Rock and Roads!" "That'd be good, wouldn't it?" " PALIN:" "Rock and Roads, yeah!" " Lf they paid me well!" "I think you were the first Soviet girl, one of the first Soviet girls ever to go to an English public school!" "I mean, has this been a good experience for you?" "I really enjoyed my years there, and I think, although some papers say the system is not very good any more, you know, the public school system should be changed, but I think it's great!" "It's a great system!" "PALIN:" "Well, that's very good for Rugby, they'll like that!" " Yeah!" " Yes!" "What attracted a demure English public schoolgirl like yourself to this wild, rock-and-rolling, motorbike maniac?" "(TYM0SHENK0 LAUGHS)" "I guess, you know, the first time I saw him, he looked really unusual, and I've always liked bikes and music like this, so I thought, ah, he's like a rock musician, he must be!" "So I said, "I have to pass by him and see what he looks like!"" "But, you know, afterwards it's not really about bikes or music, it's more about Sean's personality, that he's a really, really kind person and a lovely, lovely person!" "That's why it's not really about!" "But, of course, it adds a lot of excitement into my life!" "PALIN:" "It was just the bike!" "It was the bike!" "Something I've never tried before!" " PALIN:" "Be honest about it, now!" " Yeah!" " Yeah, I have to admit it to you!" " PALIN:" "Admit it, admit it!" "PALIN:" "As Sean drives me back, I can't help hoping his mother-ln-law will one day get back Into power." "Ukralne could use a new Mlnlster of Roads." "Klev could be a European city, with its glittering skyline of Chrlstlan monasteries, but the huge 300-foot monument called Natlon's Mother, given to the city In Sovlet times, faces towards Moscow, and there are many here who would llke Ukralne to do the same." "The Dnleper Rlver flows through Klev to the Black Sea, close to my next port of call, the Crlmea." "(MAN SPEAKING UKRAINIAN 0VER PA)" "PALIN:" "Thousands make for the Crlmean coast every summer, leaving the train at Slmferopol and continuing on by trolleybus." "Yalta?" "Ah, good!" "Thank you!" "PALIN:" "The route was opened In 1 959 as cheap travel for the masses." "But It's not just any old suburban service." "It covers 5 1 miles and crosses a 2,500-foot pass." "The Number 52 from Slmferopol to Yalta" "Is one of the great trolleybus journeys of the world." "Mlnd you, It does take three hours." "I've come all this way because In February, 1 945 a conference was held here In Yalta that was to change the face of Europe." "This is the Livadiya Palace, the summer home of Russia's last czar, the ill-fated Nicholas II!" "It's also the place where In 1 945 the fate of Europe was decided by three powerful men," "Joseph Stalin of the USSR, Presldent Roosevelt of the USA and Brltaln's Prlme Mlnlster, Wlnston Churchlll." "Presldent Roosevelt was a sick man." "Observers described him as looking frail and III." "Indeed, within three months of the conference he'd be dead." "But because of his condition, he was given a room here in Livadiya Palace, because it was only a short wheelchair ride from there through into the main conference chamber!" "PALIN:" "Around this table the Blg Three leaders and their delegations argued for four days over the borders and boundaries of their new Europe." "When the day's horse-trading was over, Churchill and the British delegation returned to their villa!" "It was built by Count Vorontsov, who spent 20 years and a countless fortune building it and never lived in it!" "Churchill loved this lion particularly!" "He told Stalin, "It's like me, only without the cigar!"" "PALIN:" "In the great hall of the Vorontsov villa, subsidiary meetings were held by the foreign ministers to thrash out the fine detail." "Whether the Vorontsov villa was bugged or not is a moot point, but the two observations by one of Churchill's party suggests someone might have been listening in!" "For instance, in completely private conversation, someone mentioned they had seen a fish tank and it was empty of fish!" "Two days later, full of goldfish!" "A similar confidential conversation about not finding enough lemon peel for the cocktails resulted, two days later, in a lemon tree in the conservatory!" "Maybe coincidence!" "Behind all the conviviality and the toastings and the mutual backslapping, one inescapable fact hung over all their discussions!" "The Red Army already occupied Eastern Europe!" "Because of their vast resources of men and materials," "Stalln wasn't prepared to give an Inch." "At the end of the final sessions, Stalin put his name to a document promising free and unfettered elections in all the countries occupied by the Red Army!" "They never happened!" "Wlthln weeks Churchlll had written to Roosevelt saying that he thought they'd signed up to a fraudulent manifesto." "This was scant consolation for the people of the Baltic states of Poland, Hungary, Czechoslovakia and Romania!" "For us, the war ended in 1 945!" "For them, as a result of what was signed here, it could have been said to have gone on for another 50 years!" "PALIN:" "I'd always imagined Yalta to be a cold, grey place, so It's quite a shock to find It's the holiday destination of choice for Ukralnlans and Russlans, with packed beaches and some Interesting twin cities." "Pozzuoli, Italy!" "Rhodes, Greece!" "Sanya, China!" "Fujisawa, Japan!" "And Margate, England!" "Hello, Margate!" "You're remembered in Yalta!" "PALIN:" "I wonder If those sandwiched on these beaches have any Idea of Yalta's claim to fame?" "I ask Anya, a local girl, who's working to bring even more tourists here." "Do many of the people come here, or indeed yourself, who live here, Anya, do they know about the peace conference in Yalta in 1 945?" "0f course, and the Livadiya Palace where that was held is one of the most popular sightseeing objects!" "So people are aware that Stalin and Churchill and Roosevelt got here and the significance for Europe!" " That is true, that is correct!" " What do people think of Stalin?" "Um!" "Well, there are different points of view on that!" "Some people who remember the Communist days treat him as a very fair and very firm leader!" "But some think that he was too cruel," "I would say!" "What do you think, from your studies?" "I've studied from different books and I'm still looking for my answer!" "You live here!" "Would you go and sunbathe on a beach like that over there?" " I know better places!" " Ah!" "I have my own places!" "PALIN:" "Crlmean politicians were traditionally pro-Moscow, but as we walk along the prom," "I'm quite surprised to find the great revolutionary himself still on his feet, staring sternly out to sea." "Why has Lenin survived here in Yalta, in Ukraine, after all, not even Russia, when so many other places have removed him?" "Well, Crimea was Russian until 1 954 and people here, like in the east of Ukraine, are pro-Russian!" "And many of them have positive, nice memories of the Soviet days and it was decided to keep the monument as part of the historical heritage!" "After all, you cannot tear a page out of history, can you?" "PALIN:" "But tonight Is my last night here, and I decide to close the history books and surrender to the relentless hedonlsm of Margate's twin town." "Now, If I were here with my grandson Archle, what would he want to see me doing?" "Oh, no." "No." "Not thlsl" "I've got a feeling that there are things about Yalta that I shall remember even more than the peace conference!" "Here we go!" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "(EXCLAIMING)" "0h, I'm glad I wore my jacket!" "Then I can throw up in the pocket!" "(W0MEN SCREAMING)" "PALIN:" "Thls Is the furthest east I'll get In New Europe." "Next time I'll be In the Baltlcs." "Ahhh!" "Whoa!" "(EXCLAIMING)" "0kay, I confess!" "I never wanted to do another series!" "Hlmalaya was enough for me!" "I'll never do another one!" "Whoa!" "Archie, if you can see me now, I did it for you!" "(W0MEN SCREAMING)"