"So, Kathy, the Prime Minister saw fit to invite one into the Cabinet and, well, here one is." "Isn't it a terrific responsibility?" "I suppose, if one chooses to dedicate one's life to public service, responsibility is something one accepts." " But all this power!" " I know, I know!" "Frightening sometimes." "But it also makes one very humble." "There one sits at the Cabinet table, Number 10 Downing Street, and one realises..." "Bernard rang, O humble one." "Central House want you to watch a programme on BBC2." "Maureen Watkins, MP." "One of the backbench MPs." "Not my favourite lady." "A rampaging feminist." "I don't think I'll bother." "Don't write that down." "I like Maureen Watkins." "Don't you think that women are still the exploited sex?" "All of us in 5B think that women are exploited at work and at home and still it's a world designed by men and run by men for men's convenience." " Like SHE says." " Not any longer, surely?" " She doesn't carry any weight in the House." " No, it's full of men." " Thank you." "Anything else you'd like to ask?" " Just one last question." "As a minister with all this power, what have you personally achieved?" "Achieved?" "Oh, well, all sorts of things." "Membership of the Privy Council, the Party Policy Committee..." "No, things you've done that makes life better for other people." " Makes life better?" " Yes." "For other people?" "There must be a number of things." "That's what one's job is all about." "18 hours a day, 7 days a week." "Could you give me examples?" " Makes it a bit boring otherwise." " Examples." "Difficult to know where to start." "So much of government is collective decisions." "All of us together, best minds in the country, hammering it out." "But what will you look back on afterwards and say "I did that."" "You know, like a writer can look at his books." "Government is a complex business." "So many people have to have their say." "These things take time." "Rome wasn't built in a day..." "Good heavens, is that the time?" "I really must be getting my boxes." "Excuse me." " Oh, thank you." " Thank you so much." "Such fun, having this little talk." "And you'll let me approve the article, as we agreed?" " Bye." " Bye." "Bright kid." "Last interview I give for a school magazine." "She asked some difficult questions." "Just innocent." "She assumed there was some moral basis to your activities." " Well, there is." " Oh, Jim, don't be silly!" "What are you sighing for?" "I'm not sighing." " Out with it." " Well, what have I achieved?" "She's right." " It really does make you humble!" " I can't get any bills through." " The time's taken up for the next two years." " Reform the Civil Service." " Impossible." "Catch 22." " Why?" "Supposing I suggested 50 terrific reforms, who would have to implement them?" "The Civil Service." "All right, I tell you what." "Not 50 reforms, just one." "Huh!" "What?" "If you achieve one import reform, that'd be something." "Get me in the record books!" "What do you suggest?" "Make them put more women into top jobs." "Women are half the population, they should be half the Permanent Secretaries." " How many women are there at the top?" " Not many." "Equal opportunities." "I'll have a go." "After all, there's a principle at stake." "You're going to do something out of pure principle?" " Yes." " Oh, Jim." "Principles are excellent vote winners." " We don't have to do anything?" " No." "Paragraphs 1 and 2 are wrong." "And all the other points are covered." "I don't have to make a decision." "I don't even have to apologise." " Can you do a reply for me?" " Done it." "Fantastic." "Why don't they make more Under-Secretaries like you?" " Anything else, Minister?" " No." "Tell me, Sarah, how many women are there at the top of the Civil Service?" "No Permanent Secretaries." "Four out of 150 Deputy Secretaries." " What about your grade?" "Under-Secretary?" " There are 27 of us." " Doesn't sound too bad." "Out of how many?" " 578." " But that's appalling!" "Aren't you appalled?" " Not really." "I find it comic." "But then I find most of the Civil Service comic." "It's run by men, after all." "What can you?" "What can I do?" " Are you serious, Minister?" " Yes." "It's easy." "Bring top women from the professions, commerce, industry, straight into the top grades." "The pay is good for women." "Long holidays, pensions." "You'd get high-quality applicants." " And they could do the job?" " Of course." "With respect, if you can make a journalist MP into a minister, why can't you make a senior partner from a legal firm into an Under-Secretary?" "Most of the work here only needs about two O-levels, anyway." " Good point." "Sarah, thank you very much." " Thank you, Minister." " You rang, Minister?" " Bernard, Sarah told..." " Yes, Minister?" " I wish you'd call me Jim when we're alone." "Oh, I'll try to remember that, Minister." "Sarah tells me this complaint is nonsense." " Oh, fine." "So we can CGSM it." " CGSM?" "Civil service code." "It stands for Consignment of Geriatric Shoe Manufacturers." "Load of old cobblers, Minister." "I'm not a civil servant." "I shall use my own code." "I shall write "round objects"." "Ah, Minister, you wanted a word about staffing?" " Yes, Humphrey." " Morning, Bernard." "I've made a policy decision." "I'm going to do something about the number of women in the Civil Service." "Surely there aren't all that many." " That's my point." " The Minister thinks we need more." " Many more." " More?" "We're quite well up to establishment on typists, cleaners and tea ladies." "Any ideas, Bernard?" " We are a bit short on temporary secretaries." " I'm talking about Permanent Secretaries." " Permanent..." " We need female mandarins." "Sort of satsumas, Minister." "Sit down, will you, Bernard." " How many Permanent Secretaries are there?" " 41, I believe." " And how many of those are women?" " Well, broadly speaking..." "Not having the figures to hand, I'm not sure." " Approximately." " Approximately... none." "None." "And I understand there are about 150 Deputy Secretaries." "How many are women?" " Well, it's difficult to say." " Why?" "There's a lot of old women among the men." " Four." " Are there really?" "I'm going to announce a quota of 25% women Deputy Secretaries and Permanent Secretaries to be achieved in four years." "Wait a minute, Minister." "I'm obviously in total sympathy with your objectives." " Obviously." " Of course we must have more women." "Of course!" "All of us are deeply concerned by this apparent imbalance, but these things take time." " I want to make a start straight away." " I agree." "I propose we make a start by setting up an inter-departmental committee..." "No, no, no." "That's not what I meant and you know it." "No delays." "This needs a sledgehammer." "We must cut through the red tape." " You can't cut tape with a sledgehammer..." " You know what I mean." "Minister, you do me an injustice." "I was not about to suggest delays." " Oh, sorry." " That's all right." "I suggest that, if we are to have 25% quota, we need a larger intake at the recruitment stage so eventually there'll be 25% in the top jobs." " When?" " In 25 years." "No, Humphrey, you haven't quite got my drift." "I mean NOW." " Oh... you mean, NOW?" " Got it in one, Humphrey." "It takes time to do things NOW." "The three articles of Civil Service faith:" "It takes longer to do things quickly;" "it's more expensive to do them cheaply and more democratic to do them in secret." "I have suggested four years." "Masses of time." "Oh, dear me, no!" "I don't mean political time, I mean real time." "Civil servants are grown like..." "like oak trees, not mustard and cress." "They bloom and ripen with the seasons, they mature like..." " Like yourself." " Well, I was about to say like an old port." "Like Grimsby, perhaps." " Yes, I was being serious, Minister." " I foresaw this problem." "I propose we solve it by bringing in top women from outside the service to fill vacancies in the top jobs." "I..." " I don't think I quite understood." " Watch my mouth, Humphrey." "We will bring in women from outside." "But the strength of the system is that it is pure and unsullied by outside influences." "People move jobs." "Why should the Civil Service be different?" "It IS different." "It demands subtlety." " Discretion." " Devotion to duty." " Soundness." " Soundness!" "Well said, Bernard!" "Civil servants require endless patience and boundless understanding." "They need to be able to change horses mid-stream, as politicians change what they call their minds." " You have these talents?" " Well, it is just that one's been properly..." " Matured." "Like Grimsby." " Trained." "Ask yourself if there isn't something wrong with the system." " Why are there so few women deputies?" " They keep leaving to have babies." " At nearly 50?" "Surely not." " I don't know." "I'm on your side." " We do need more women at the top." " I'm not waiting 25 years." " There's a vacancy for Deputy Secretary here." " Ye-es." " I shall appoint a woman." "Sarah Harrison." " Sarah Harrison?" "!" " I think she's very able, don't you?" " Very." "For a woman, for a person." "And she is an original thinker." "Yes, that's true, but she doesn't let it interfere with her work." " What have you got against her?" " Nothing." "She's excellent." "I'm a supporter of hers." "I advocated her promotion to Under-Secretary at a very early age." " Would you agree that she is outstanding?" " Yes." " So, on balance, it is a good idea?" " On balance... yes and no." " That's not a very clear answer." " It's a balanced answer." "The point is she's too young and it's not her turn." "I knew you'd say that!" "This is exactly what's wrong with the Civil Service" " Buggins' turn!" " The best people should be promoted!" " Exactly!" "As soon as it's their turn!" "Oh, nonsense!" "Napoleon ruled Europe when he was in his 30s!" " Alexander conquered the world in his 20s." " They'd have made poor Deputy Secretaries." " They didn't wait their turn!" " And look what happened to them." "And look what's happened to us!" "Instead of being run by a lot of young, able, energetic men, this country's being run by tired, cynical 55-year-olds who just want a quiet life!" "Had you anyone specific in mind?" "Yes and no, Humphrey." "Oh, Minister, Sarah Harrison is an excellent civil servant and a bright hope for the future, but she is our most junior Under-Secretary and I will not recommend her promotion." " I think you're a sexist." " Minister, how could you say such a thing?" "I'm very pro-women." "Wonderful people, women." "Sarah is a dear lady." "I'm one of her greatest admirers." "But, if the cause of women is to be advanced, it must be done with care, tact and discretion." "She is our only woman contender for a top job." "We mustn't push her too fast." " Women find top jobs very difficult." " Can you hear yourself?" "If women could be good Permanent Secretaries, there would be more of them." "Stands to reason." " No..." " I'm not anti-feminist!" "I love women!" "Some of my best friends are women!" "Er... my wife, indeed." "But Sarah is as yet very inexperienced and her children are still of school age." " They might get mumps!" " You might get shingles!" "I might indeed if you continue in this vein." "What if her children caused her to miss work?" "Would she have reached Under-Secretary in that case?" "She is the best person!" "If you promote women just because they're the best person, you will create a lot of resentment throughout the Civil Service!" " Not from the women in it." " Well, that hardly matters, does it?" "Hardly matters?" "There are so few of them." "I've told him women are different, but he can't grasp it." "They put such strains on a team." "They react differently." "They're so emotional." "Not rational like us." "No." "It's hopeless when you tell them off." "Either they get into a frightful bate or start blubbing." "And if they're not the sort who blub, they become frightfully hard and butch." "Not the least bit attractive." " They're full of prejudices." " Make silly generalisations." " They think in stereotypes." " Mmm." "Arnold, what do you think I should do?" "Lecture him at such length on the matter that he becomes bored and loses interest in the idea." "Yes, might work." "Mind you, he doesn't get bored easily." " He even finds himself interesting." " They all do." " All the ones who listen to what we're saying." " Not many of those." "The standard second ploy is to tell him the unions won't wear it." " They'd like it." " That's beside the point." " Oh, yes, sorry." " What does his wife think about all this?" "I gather she's in favour of promoting Harrison." "In fact, she may be behind it." "I see." "Does she know that Sarah Harrison is rather attractive?" "No, I don't think they've ever met..." "Good idea." "We must mobilise the Cabinet against this quota nonsense." " They'll be in favour of it." " We can get them to change their minds." " They change their minds fairly easily." " Just like a lot of women!" "Thank God they don't blub!" "Minister, I have come to the conclusion that you were right." " Are you being serious?" " Yes, indeed." "I have taken your ideas on board and I am now positively against discrimination against women and in favour of positive discrimination - discriminating discrimination, of course." "Yes..." "I think I've got that." "The view is, at the very highest level, that this should happen." " Good." " However..." "There is a problem about the quota." "Mind if I sit down?" "The unions won't wear it." " Really?" "Let's have 'em in." "We'll talk about it." " Er... no, Minister." " That would... just stir up a hornets' nest." " Why?" "Well, if I might suggest..." "that we be realistic about this." " By realistic, you mean drop the whole scheme." " Oh, dear me, no!" "But, perhaps, a pause to re-group." "A lull in which to reassess the situation and discuss alternative strategies." "A space of time for reflection and deliberation." "You mean drop the whole scheme." "No, I've set my hand to the plough, I've made the decision." "We shall have a 25% quota of women within the next four years and, to make a start, I shall appoint Sarah Harrison." " I promise you, that is the wrong decision." " Principle, Humphrey, principle." "I'm sure my Cabinet colleagues will support me." "There's a lot of votes in women's rights." "Votes?" "I thought you said it was a matter of principle." "For ME." "I was talking about them." "Yes?" " Mrs Hacker's here." " Send her in." "Could she come in?" "Could you sign the letters before you go, Minister?" " Hello." "Get Humphrey to give you a drink." " Sherry?" "Remember that letter you wrote "round objects" on?" "Sir Humphrey has commented on it." " What's he say?" " "Who is Round and to what does he object?"" "Here you are." "Your very good health." "Yes, it's a slow business changing the Civil Service." "What about promoting this woman Jim was talking about?" "Oh, yes, well... your husband certainly has an eye for talent and Sarah's very talented." " Quite delightful, real charmer." "Cheers." " Really?" "I very much admire this new generation of women civil servants compared to the old battle-axes I remember!" "Of course, they're not all as beautiful as Sarah, but... they do manage to keep their femininity." " Jim never discussed what she looks like." " Oh, well, perhaps he hasn't noticed." "I find that hard to believe." "He does spend a lot of time with her." "And even more... if she's promoted." "Shall we sit down?" "And so, gentlemen, my minister is set on creating a quota of 25% women, leading to an eventual 50%." " Parity, I see." " Yes." "Mm." "It seems right and proper to me that men and women be treated fairly and equally." "I speak for all of us when I say that, in principle, there should be such targets set and goals achieved." " Bill?" " Well, I'm fully in favour of this idea." "We must have positive discrimination in favour of women." "It wouldn't work with the Foreign Office." "We couldn't post women ambassadors to Iran or Muslim nations." " No, quite, quite." " The Third World is not so advanced as us." "And as we have to send diplomats to new postings every three years, this idea is obviously not for us, but I do approve the principle." " Neil?" " I'm in favour of it." "I think we need the feminine touch." "Women are better at handling some problems than men." "No doubt about it." "We would have to make an exception in the Home Office." "Women are not the right people to run prisons or the police." "Quite probably, they wouldn't want to do it, anyway." " But you do agree with the principle?" " Oh, yes, without question." " Peter?" " Yes, the same applies to Defence... alas." "All those admirals and generals." "It wouldn't be possible to appoint a woman as Head of Security." "M would have to become F." "Yes, Defence is clearly a man's world, like Industry and Employment." "All those trade union leaders!" "But what about the DHSS?" "John?" "I'm happy to say woman are well represented near the top of the DHSS." "After all, we have two of the four Deputy Secretaries in Whitehall." "Not eligible for Permanent Secretary because they're Deputy Chief Medical Officers." "I'm not sure they're really suitable." "No, that's unfair." "Of course, women are 80% of our clerical staff and 99% of the typing grades." "We're not doing too badly." "In principle, I'm in favour of them going to the top." "Good, good." "The feeling of the meeting is, in principle, that we're all in favour of equal rights for the ladies, but there are special problems in individual departments." " Hear hear!" " What about this question of the quota?" " Frankly, I'm against it." " Oh, yes, not on!" "We must, in my view, have the right to promote the best man for the job, regardless of sex." "Speaking as an ardent feminist myself," "I think the problem lies in recruiting the right sort of women." "Married women with families drop out because they cannot give their work their full, single-minded attention." "Unmarried women with no children are not fully-rounded people with a thorough understanding of life." "So, in practice, it's rarely possible to find a fully-rounded married woman, with a happy home and three children, prepared to devote virtually her whole life to a department." "It's Catch 22, really." "Well, Catch 22, sub-paragraph A!" "I think we must ensure that our respective ministers oppose this quota idea in Cabinet by drawing our own minister's attention to each department's special problems." "But we will recommend the principle of equal opportunities at every level." "May I suggest one more thing?" "My minister sees the promotion of women as a means of creating greater diversity at the top of the service." "We should stress to our ministers that, frankly, you couldn't find a more diverse lot than us." " Absolutely!" " A real cross-section of the nation." "Ah, Minister, how was Cabinet?" " Bit odd, actually." " Why?" "We were talking about the top jobs quota for women." " Was it agreed?" " That's what's so odd." "They all agreed in principle, but then said it wouldn't work in their own departments." " They didn't support me at all." " Extraordinary." "And I'm not getting support from Annie." " Really?" "What, about this quota?" " Well, about promoting Sarah." " You'd think she'd be 100% behind it." " Indeed." "She goes sort of distant when I mention it." " Dead against it now." " Even more extraordinary." "Oh, well, seems the only thing left." " Something I can achieve." " Yes, indeed." "Shall I ask Mrs Harrison to come in?" "Bernard, would you be kind enough?" "At least this is something I can say I have done." " Indeed." " Lighting a spark." "Carrying a torch, even." "Ah, Sarah, do sit down." " Thank you." " Humphrey." "Sarah, as you know, there is a vacancy for a Deputy Secretary in this department." "In spite of you being the most junior Under-Secretary, but because you are the outstanding person," "Sir Humphrey and I will recommend you for promotion to the grade of Deputy Secretary." "I..." "I don't know what to say." " No need to say anything." " A single thank you should suffice." "No..." "Well..." "I mean..." "Oh, gosh." "Look, this is awfully embarrassing." "I mean..." "Well, I was going to tell you this week." "I'm resigning from the Civil Service." " What?" " Resigning?" "Yes, so... thank you, but no, thank you." " Some problem at home with your children?" " Mumps?" "No, I'm joining a merchant bank... as a director." "Sarah..." "I won't conceal from you the fact that this is a blow." "The reason Humphrey and I decided to recommend you is that I've been fighting a losing battle to improve promotion prospects for women." "You were to be my, so to speak, Trojan horse." "Quite honestly, Minister, I want a job where I don't spend endless hours circulating information about subjects that don't matter to people who aren't interested." "I want a job where there's achievement rather than merely activity." "I'm tired of pushing paper." "I want to point to something and say "I did that."" "I don't understand." "I know." "That's why I'm leaving." "You're not saying the government is unimportant?" "No, it's very important." "It's just that I haven't met anyone who's doing it." "Also I've had enough of the pointless intrigue." " Intrigue?" " You know the sort of thing." "Like this women's rights nonsense." "Your using me as a Trojan horse, for instance." "They probably said the unions wouldn't wear it if you promoted me." " How did you know that?" " I didn't." "I just know how things are done." "You don't realise I've fought quite a battle for you." "Oh, have you?" "I didn't ask you to fight a battle for me." "I'm not pleased at being part of a 25% quota." "Women are not inferior beings and I don't enjoy being patronised." "I'm afraid you're just as paternalist and chauvinist as the rest of them." "I'm going somewhere where I shall be accepted an equal, as a person." "You can't win, can you?" " May I go now?" " Hm?" "Yes, of course." "I'm sorry I offended you, though I can't remember how I did." "No." "And thank you." "I know you both mean well." "Women!" "Yes, Minister."