"Jesus, I'm sorry." "I see you missed me." "No, no, no." "Have fun, girls." "You have some nerve." "You have the nerve to hit on me in front of my boyfriend." "What?" "She came onto me." "Do you have balls or are you chicken shit?" "Make up your mind." "Would you rather lose your eye or your ear?" "Fuck, neither." "I didn't know she was yours." " Excuse me?" "I'm nobody's." " What do you want?" "Money!" "You won your drink back." "Idiots." " Get that." " Martin!" "Sylva, get it." "Shit!" "Damn it!" "Sylva, it's Patrik." "Don't tell me I woke you up!" "I need to talk about the spots for Sanoma." "Watch where you're going, you hick!" "I can't check my email, I'm off to tennis with a client." " Are you listening to me?" " I'll think about it." " The presentation is tomorrow!" " Okay." " What?" " I'll think about it!" " What are you doing today?" " Maybe tonight!" " What do you mean maybe?" " Definitely tonight!" " What time?" " Or in the morning!" "Damn you, Sylva!" " You have to go?" " I don't have to do anything." " It's your job." " I know." "So try talking me into staying..." "Promise me that you'll never marry me." "I promise." "Promise me that we'll never have two cute kids." "I promise." "Promise me that we'll never be a golden nameplate on the door." "I promise." "You need to brush your teeth." "You gotta do something about that tea kettle!" " Or we'll burn to a crisp." " That'll be me." " What do you think?" " I have legs like an old bag." "An audience?" " Wrong floor." " I told you I need it today." " Leave or I'll call the police." " I have to pee." "First flowers, then a bang on the head and a brutal rape." "I'll tie you down and force you to think of something." "You're not forcing me, you're paying me for it." "It's an ongoing three month series." "A new spot each issue." "The whole campaign." "Slogan, ads, radio." "So far we have "The world within reach" or "Your full world view."" "You look good." "Wanna take Sylva out?" "She's so lonely." " Hail to the competitor." " Hi." " You want something to drink?" " Juice." "Here's the brief from the publisher, our slogans and Anna's two versions that we've got so far." "One is a classic, the other is some youngsters on a trip." " The second one is okay." " I doubt it!" "It's like a tomb here." " Why can't you email it to me?" "!" " You got it yesterday." "A magazine is a great thing." "You can use it in many ways." "A young cute guy's reading and a fly is bugging him." "He rolls the magazine, and kills it." "He's the winner and keeps on reading." "Or he's on the can and runs out of paper, or he levels a shelf." "If he spies on a girl or a boy he can use it as a telescope." ""You can't get by without it!" Or "Good to have on hand!"" "So no flowers next time?" "Take the crown from the princess and she'll make an effort." "Have fun, kids." "I'm off." "Are you going to see your mom?" " Do you want a ride?" " Sure." "You look fabulous." " I'll wait in the car." " Idiots!" "Turn right here." "It's fine here." "Think about it, it's a good client." "Call me, or I'll call you." " Okay." "Bye." " Bye." "Hi Mom." "My boss is starting to bug me." "He doesn't get people with hangovers, but you'd like him." "He'll never think of anything, but he's mature and level-headed." "He's the kind of guy where you can say where he was five years ago and where he'll be in fifteen." "He's my partner of your dreams." "What are you staring at?" "!" "So what do you say?" " Not today." " Well, you're not invited." "I have a better chick here." "Say hi to Václav for me." " Martin sends you a kiss." " That's so nice." "I know he is nice but only to me." "Is that included in the price?" "If you wanted to, all of these guys would be nice to you." "They should be nice to you." "My point!" "They'll be nice because I don't have to run home like a doggy to his doghouse." "Hi baby." "It's Marie." "You remember me?" "Yeah, right, in January, in La Casa." "So you remember." "I have a..." "I don't know how to put it." "I'm pregnant." "Who's the father?" "Why do you think I'm calling you?" "What do you mean where I am?" "Does it matter?" "I'm at the train station." "I'm going to see you." "I love you!" "One more thing." "It's April Fool's!" "It's been fourteen seconds already." "Fifteen." "But I'm coming to see you anyway." "I should have bought a watch with numerals." "I'll be your numerals." "A call for you!" "Are you sure you can't make it?" "I have to talk to you." "Okay." "I've been cheating on you." "It's been six months." "Martin, stop it!" "It's true!" "Are you there?" "With who?" "With Robert." "Robert who?" "Your brother." "What?" "You can't be serious!" "Don't worry." "It's just a game." "It doesn't mean a thing." "It's nothing emotional!" "He hung up on me!" "Great!" "So we'll see him soon." "Oh no." "It's here." "Let's go!" "Can't you survive a single night without me?" "Water!" " What's up?" " 120." " I'm 25." "Nice to meet you." " Alcohol is free, water isn't." "Right." "I'd love to take off somewhere." "How about going to Brazil?" "I've always loved the tanned guys with hairy butts." "Not those shaven heterosexuals." " Listen, Marie." " God, aren't they sweet?" " Can I join you?" " Sure." "You're here together?" " Hi darling, where are you?" " I'm home!" "I bumped into a couple of fags again." "Is there a single straight and sweaty guy in this town?" "!" "GOODBYE" " Hi Václav." " Hey!" "You're living here again?" "Just an April Fool's joke." "If Sylva calls I'm not here." "GOODBYE" " Who did they send again?" " The best available choice." "Where is the other one?" "I made it clear I wanted some fat." "She got stuck in an elevator." "Will you let me in?" " Only if I get a discount." " No discounts." "Is Martin here?" "I see." "You're the twig Martin asked for." "Move it, you jerk." "Where is he?" "He went for a drink and a wall fell on him." "I called for help." " Václav, seriously." " Okay, seriously." "He went to get some condoms at the gas station." "Shit!" " Where is that tub of lard?" " Stop it, Václav." "Come in." " Who's that?" " Sylva." "What's going on?" "Why is Martin's cell phone here?" "I need fat women to get it up." " That's not what I asked!" " He left it here." " Give me yours!" " Give me a break." "Come on!" "Give me that phone, honey." "When Martin comes back, tell him to read the message." "Good morning." "Would you like our special meal?" "It's 6:30 AM on April 1st." "Greetings to all jesters whose name falls on this day..." "You'll get sick and throw up here." " I already feel sick." " So go home." " I want to feel sick." " Hey, I'm not in the mood." "I'm in no mood for you either." "No?" "So get out." "I came to waste it here." "My mood, my kidneys, my liver" "and especially my brain." "Sylva, you look awful." "It's not for real." "It's April 1st." "April Fool's Day." "I didn't really cheat on you." " Really." " Honey, don't tell me that." " Not that." " What?" "Let's not talk about it now." "I'm totally wasted." "I'm such a bastard!" " What happened?" " I thought..." "Jesus, it's so complicated." "Fuck, I didn't want that." "What are you talking about?" "Wait, come here." "See." "Fuck!" "I left it there." "I'm looking for someone." "Can I look inside?" "Sure." " You think I don't have a fifty?" " Actually I think you don't." "It's almost last call." "I left my bag somewhere." "I'll go get it later, but now I need to look downstairs." "Sure." "I understand, but I'm dead tired." "You work at the After party bar so of course you're tired." "You know what?" "Go to hell." " That's where I'm going." " Wait!" " What can I get you, baby?" " What?" "I got no money." "A glass of tap water." "Can I get something better?" "I'll pay double next time." "To what we seek in Prague." " That's not vodka!" " That's Prague vodka." "You gave me some gross water for watering plants!" "April Fool." " That's gratitude?" " Fuck you too." "What's up?" "She didn't pay!" "She said she'd just peep in." "Leave me alone." "We're not some refuge." "It's one hundred to get in." "A minute ago it was fifty." "Fuck your stupid jokes." "Leave me alone!" "I said one hundred, or I'll break your legs." "You fucking bitch." "You stinking cunt." "You slimy hoe." "You slut!" "Cunt!" " Well?" " A drink." "Jesus Christ, turn it off!" "It's Marie." "Leave a message and your vital stats and we'll see." "What if I called you someone else's name while doing it?" " I'd ask about his last name." " What would you do then?" " I'd kill him!" " Are you serious?" "I'd kill him." "Then I'd chop him up." "I'd chop him up into pieces." "And then, then..." "I'd put the pieces in a tuna can and toss it into the river." "Oddensee, you know." "It's a company that makes only yellow-fin tuna steaks." "Not like Otma or Western, none of that anchovy imitation." "Oddensee..." " Who is it?" " Hi Marie." "It's Sylva." " Who?" " I was mugged." " What?" "Who?" " I need to use your phone!" " Who the fuck is there?" " Sylva!" "Marie?" " Don't get mad." " I'm too out of it for that." " Where's Martin stored?" " What?" "Give it to me." "Answer it!" "Martin left." "He wrote "Goodbye" on the wall and doesn't answer my calls!" "Look, I'm dead tired." "I need to lie down." "Will you lend me some money?" " Call me later about what's up." " A kiss." "Is he inside?" "Yeah." "What are you doing?" "Getting dressed." "I'm sorry." "I'm really sorry." "Could we pretend that I didn't call you, that I didn't come here, that nothing happened?" "But something did happen." "I wanted this to reunite us, not to have you cheat on me." "But I'm not cheating on you." "I can't cheat on someone who I'm not going out with." " What did you forget?" " To look in the bedroom." " It's messy." " Is Martin in there?" "What's up?" "Storming in like that?" "Why would your man be here?" " You hung up on me earlier." " I always hang up in the morning." "The whole thing was your idea!" "Did you think he was banging me here, or what?" "You think I'm such a bitch?" " Can I borrow your ketchup?" " Get lost!" "Come on, sweetie." "I'm sorry." "I love you." "I'm worried that I fucked up." "No, you didn't." "What is it?" " Shit!" "My contact fell out." " I'm sorry." " That's fucked up too." " Stop whining!" "Martin loves you." "He really does." "He'd never leave you." "He's a man." "He could beat someone else up but not take revenge on you." "I'm so stupid!" "With Robert..." "Do you have Robert's number?" "Or his address?" "Can't you hang out with me for no reason?" "Just to chat." "I don't have time to pamper you." "I have a problem!" "I need help!" "I forgot." "You have a problem!" "Only you!" " Do you have his address or not?" " No!" " Fine!" " Sylva!" " So here you are." "You've met Robert, right?" "Sylvie?" "What are you doing here?" " I'm looking for Martin." " What happened?" "!" "Nothing." "Martin's okay." "He just..." " He left and won't return calls." " Did he dump you?" " What makes you think that?" " I understand children." "Hi." "Did you come for a coffee?" "Maybe he's at Robert's." "Could you give me his number?" " He's an artist without a phone." " But he does have an address." "You've never been there?" "I only saw him at that stupid opening." "Follow me." " You surprised me." " You didn't surprise me." "I always forget to shut it." "Why are you goofing around?" "Trying to get some inspiration?" "I didn't realize I'd drunk so much." "Fuck!" "Have you gone mad?" "Sylva told me." "What?" "That she loves you?" "Sylvie, I think you didn't understand." "I don't like you." "You're a spoiled brat." "If Martin left you, he did the right thing." "I won't give you Robert's address and I want you to leave." "You can't admit that I could have something you don't have!" "If I happen to have it, you destroy it." "I need to see Robert." "I need your help." "Leave now." "I have to work." "Sylvie!" "With your fucking skilled hands." "Martin, don't." "Robert left his drafts at our place..." "Goodbye." "Sylvie, what are you doing here?" "I'm sorry to bother you." "I didn't mean to." "It's alright." "Robert left his drafts at our place." "He may not have noticed but he's supposed to show them to an agent tonight." "I want to surprise him with them but I don't know where he lives." "And I can't reach Martin." "Could you give me his address?" "What's wrong with you?" "Why do you always have to prove that I'm not as good as you?" "That I'll never be as good as you?" "What the fuck is there to prove?" "I don't give a shit about you." "Sylva who?" "I threw that cardboard away this morning." "I got a new table." "It's nice." "Don't worry, I'll throw it out again." "I did something really stupid." "I told Martin I was cheating on him with Robert." "I'm scared that something will happen, something irreparable." "I thought your eyes were both the same." "Fuck you all." "You were born to pass on the genes of a genius like me." "Tell me that you're lying." "Say you're lying, motherfucker!" "Robert!" "Let me know that they didn't kill themselves." "There's nothing between us." "It was just a stupid joke." "Stupid fucking joke." "Martin, I'm sorry." "How could you do that?" "I love you." "I love you." "I don't want to lose you." "I don't want to lose you." "I wanted you to fight for me." " I wanted you to fight for me." " It's so touching." "Go on, continue!" "I wanted you to fight for me." "Go on!" "What?" "I wanted you to prove that we belong together." " What a sweetheart." " Martin!" " It's not April Fool's anymore." " I know it's not a joke." "What's not a joke?" "Where is he?" " Who?" " Martin!" " I don't know!" " Robert, stop playing with me!" "Don't pretend you don't know." "He must have been here!" "That's enough!" "Do I know you?" "Shit, Robert." "He called." "He called you!" "He called you a dick!" "He said that you hurt him, that you destroyed him." "So did he call you or not?" "!" "What happened?" "Nothing." "It's cool." "I'm Robert." "I'm Sylva." "I went out with your brother." "You want something to drink?" "Coffee?" "Tea?" "A shot?" "What are you doing?" "Getting dressed." " You just screwed me!" " What are you talking about?" "About that!" "Nothing happened." "It's cool." "Could you not be so loud?" "Sure." "Good." "What are you doing here?" "It's 5 AM for God's sake." "Come inside." "Come on." "It should've been in Gothic script but I was too lazy." "I wrote you something as well." "I left my phone at Václav's." "By the way, you were right." "He's a real jerk." "What did you write?" "Doesn't flush." " No water." " Where were you, Martin?" " Let's go to sleep, honey." " Where were you?" "We promised we'd never ask those questions." " I'm asking." " I've been here." "I tell you I'm sleeping with your brother and you're here?" "I know it was a joke." "I wanted to get even with you." "That's the way we do it, right?" "Let's go to bed!" "Martin, it wasn't a joke." "I fucked your brother." "It's not his fault." "I wanted to." "But don't worry." "It doesn't mean a thing." "Come on, Martin, fucking slap me." "Hit me!" "Do it!" "Fucking do something!" "We agreed we wouldn't want it this way." "You don't want it this way!" "I couldn't make it yesterday." "I didn't bring you anything." "You bastard!" "Promise me that you'll marry me one day." "Promise me that we'll have names written on our door." "And the names of our kids, too." "I promise." "Let's party!"