"Fort Tegascioa." "I can't find it." "Yet, it has to be there." "Either the Italians have moved it, or the map is wrong." "Or, who knows, maybe this is not Africa." "Let's try farther north." " You're joking, we're out of gas!" " Oh, no!" "Fine mess if we can't find it!" "Keep going for a while." "If you like returning on foot!" "Hey, look there!" "Italians at port side!" "I'll sort them out now!" "Coward!" "Come down if you dare!" "Hey, this way to Fort Tegascioa?" "THE BEST OF ENEMIES" "Hands off!" "What the warriors say, will they enlist?" " Yes, commander." "Then put them in line by four, and let's go." "It's a long way to reach the fort." "Kelebia volunteers, with me!" "Hey, Abdisan!" "Who are they?" "They're the warriors who accepted." "What, they laugh?" "Only 4 warriors for 2 barrels of wine?" "Each one is worth a hundred Englishmen." "Yeah?" "!" "Take back the wine." "I don't care what you say, I can't return with 4 warriors!" "It's done now." "Indeed, I'd advise we scram." "The other warriors who didn't accept are very mad at you." "Even?" "Then let's go away!" "What will the commander say?" "So, according to you, we should go to Goba?" "Come on, just think a moment!" "What do you think Major Richardson is doing on a plane?" "Hunting butterflies?" "Why, what's he doing instead?" " He's searching for Fort Tegascioa." "Then there's Goba, and then straight north, Addis Ababa." "Come on, Addis Ababa is west of Goba!" "3 days ago you didn't know it existed, now you want to teach me where it is." "I repeat, we'll go north to Addis Ababa." "Listen Whistle, whistle less and learn geography." " We'll see who's right." "Slinger, you know how is the head of an Italian?" "Like yours, I suppose." " Here." "Imagine!" "It's more like yours, since you're dumb." "They defend every fort scattered in the area instead of withdrawing and deploying in depth." "So tomorrow you will do another lap?" " Yes, with that jalopy!" "Imagine the fun!" "Excuse me Major, would you like a cup of tea to get the sand off your mouth?" "Good idea, Prefect ." "And you, sir?" " No, thanks corporal." "A strong tea for the Major, Slinger!" " Right away!" "Have you found, then, Fort Tegascioa?" " Corporal!" "What?" " Sorry" " Tea is ready." "How do you know I was looking for Fort Tegascioa?" " Just a guess , sir." "Then try and guess where it is." " Keep the cup." "I'll come get it later." "Thank you." "Let's go." "You two, for report!" "And you too, come on!" "Go away, stupid!" "I think you should now go tell the old man about the accident to tank 14." "We must arrange for repair." " Let me to drink in peace this tea." "What is it?" " Three men to be punished." "Want to see them?" " Not now sergeant." "There will be no time, if we move." " Can't we wait?" "It's been delayed 2 days already, and..." " And we can't loosen reins." " Aye, sir!" "Then bring them here." " At your orders, sir!" "Punishments!" "What's worse than staying in this lousy place?" "!" "You'd better always endorse your senior NCO, believe me." "You regulars, always united, huh?" "Yes?" "What's up?" "The rations arrived, sir." "Half bottle of whiskey this month, you want it?" "Sure, I need to raise my morale." "Swap your whiskey with chocolate?" " Depends on how many pounds you offer." "And that bottle, where did you get it?" " Six pounds of chocolate." "Oh, here he comes!" "Mark time!" "Corporal, halt!" "Corporal Prefect." "Unauthorized use of army vehicles." "Appropriation of military food, going around unjustifiably." "Who goes around here is indeed unjustifiable." "Around where?" " In a village ten miles from here, off-limits." "To do what?" " Black market, with the tea subtracted." "You stole the tea rations, corporal?" "Well, so to speak, sir." "But, was the tea ration or not?" "Where did you get it?" "In the waste, sir." "In the garbage?" " Yessir." "But then it was used tea!" "Sure was, when I picked it." "Then I dried it in the sun and put it back into the rations box." "That's what I meant by "so to speak"." "So, you sold second-hand tea to natives." "Don't you deem it a bit dishonest?" "Well, so to speak." "And they, what did they give you?" " Dates." "I have a thing for dates, sir." "Where did you put them?" "I had to throw them all." "They were full of worms, unfortunately." "You could have checked." " I wanted to leave before they made tea." "Moreover, I didn't think they were dirty cheaters." "48 hours of exercises." "But in London." " Yes." "Corporal!" "Turnabout!" "Forward, march!" "One two!" "Left turn!" "Left!" "The colonel wants to know if he must consider you absent." " I get it." "I go immediately." "Confined!" "Attention!" "Be right back." " Well, sir." "Don't think that Major Richardson is a wimpy." "Oh, I'd never dare to judge my superiors, sergeant." "No, it's not enough." "Tomorrow we will begin the march to Addis Ababa." "I want you to find the fort and put it out of action." "I will do my best, sir." "Meanwhile, we have seen an enemy group..." "Okay, okay!" "But I want the fort." "Get out at dawn and just returned, come to report." " Yes, sir." "I said just returned." "I don't like having to send for my officers." "Yes, sir." "By the way, you settled that contrast with the natives?" "It concerned your unit, right?" " All settled." " Good, I'm glad." "The last thing I want is trouble with the natives." "Italians treat them decently, so we must do likewise." " Yes, sir." "Richardson!" " Yes, sir?" " Would you mind passing me a banana?" " A banana?" "Please, sir." "Thanks." " Duty." "On the central sector, in front of Goba, our valiant army is fighting desperately the great battle against an enemy that has means vastly superior than ours." "The British will attack surely this fort." "And I know that you would be ready to resist with nails and teeth, rather than abandoning it to the enemy." "However, this sacrifice is not us required." "Captain Blasi's attempt to recruit native troops has failed." "We must evacuate Tegascioa, and reach Eguadaba, where will gather our forces." "We will move in 30 minutes." "Take charge, Captain." "Company, attention!" "Break ranks." "Still after me!" "But then they didn't understand!" "Guddou!" "Yes, sir!" " You see?" "Tell them to do as the others." "And I'm not their big chief, I'm even sick, tell them!" "It's my analysis?" " What is it?" "My head." "What ache have I !" "Come inside." "Maybe is malaria resuming." "Put yourself there." "I feel like dying!" "Come on!" "So is malaria." "Today there is no, and tomorrow, yes." "You have to get used to." " I don't want to get used, Bernasconi." "What is it?" " A malaria comeback." "You picked the right time to get sick!" " My dear Major." " Huh?" "I said "My dear Major"." "Doctor, will he be able to come with us?" " I think so." "It's not all that serious." " Good." "Then get ready to leave." "Bernasconi," "Give me a certificate, so they send me back home to perform sedentary services." "Dear Vittorio!" "And what would I do in Abyssinia without you?" "And you even dare to be funny!" "So one must be dying in order to get home?" " No." "Dead!" "Got that?" "Stand still!" "I've been looking for an hour!" "Micheletto!" "Why put your feet on it?" " Okay, we haven't killed him!" "Next time I'll show you!" " Next time, we'll put it on a spit!" "Mattone, tie it up and take it away!" "Get moving!" "The battery's dead!" " And of course there is not a spare one." "It would be asking too much, right?" "But you understand or not that here they're all sick?" "You're telling me?" "I have a 101° fever this morning!" "I wonder how long we can resist in these conditions!" "Take off your jacket." "And the command?" "Pretends not to know by what means we fight this war?" " Cut it out." " It's true!" "Them again!" "Savages, but why are you always after me?" "But are you stupid?" "Go away!" "Shoo!" "Bernasconi!" "How strange." "I hear like a buzzing in this ear." "What did you inject me?" "Oh, God!" "Enemy aircraft!" "A British reconnaissance plane!" "On the ground!" "Lie low!" "Hey!" "You, savages, what're you doing?" "Down!" "On the ground!" "On the ground, idiots!" "Damn, look what a mess!" "It was such a beautiful nosedive!" "Look, nosediving is fine." "But on the ground, even!" "Look at them!" "They don't look very fierce." "Well?" "Why don't you surrender?" "Where is your unit, Major?" "How many tanks you have in force?" "How many fire mouths?" "What is your objective?" "You know where I'll shove that stick?" "In short, will you answer, Major?" "Yes or no?" "Name, rank and number, I have no more to say." "Come on!" "Since you'll end up speaking, it's best that you speak now." "Apparently, you're the first British captured by the Italians." "By him, for sure!" " Okay, I got it." "I'm talking to you, British." "Courtesy between officers is of use also with prisoners, Captain." "Anyway, stop asking military information." "I don't think I can help you." "Can't get blood out of a stone, Vittorio!" " Oh, no, huh?" "But I'll break it, this stone!" "Where's your unit, Major?" "How many tanks?" "How many cannons?" "You'd better tell me, or it ends up badly." "Knuckle down, Captain." "You'll see, he'll give in eventually!" "Yes, good, encourage him!" "My unit is far from here, don't worry about." " Thanks!" "But you underrate us, Major." "And that's the trouble of you British." "So little imagination as to underrate all." "That's why it went wrong at Dunkirk!" "Dunkirk was one of our history's most brilliant feats!" "Oh, you call it brilliant?" "Dear Major, they busted your ass!" "Yes!" "But we have enough imagination as to deem it a victory." "And now leave me alone." "He screwed you over, Vittorio." "Oh, he screwed me, huh?" "I'll show you if he did!" "But you're with them or with us?" "Meanwhile, make me the certificate before leaving for Eguadaba!" "Did I say Eguadaba?" "Did they hear me?" "The interrogation is going well, Major." "He resists, of course, but is ceding." "His name is Richardson, He's a Major, and his number is 64-21-23." "A great combo!" "We'll play the lottery." "How's your hand?" " Not bad, thanks, Major." "I'm sorry, we're short on medication." "Oh, it's not serious!" "And will have appropriate care when we get to Eguadaba." "But how do you know that we go there?" " Well, in truth..." "Our information service is the best in the world." "As long as you're held captive, the information will not help you much." "Captain!" " Yes, sir!" " We'll move in five minutes." "Lieutenent!" "Prepare the mules!" " Yes, sir!" "Come on, move, idlers!" "What are you doing there?" "You've never seen an English prisoner?" " No!" "Come on, guys!" "Bernasconi, look at those." "They go for a stroll." "How can we win the war?" "Where do they find the strength?" "They're never tired, never hungry." "Look, I don't take it anymore and I sit down." "Remember, old chap, that we are British soldiers." " I, truly, am a pilot." "You certainly didn't prove it." "My feet hurt!" " Grit your teeth." "They hurt them too!" " Grit them all the same and walk." "Come on!" "Abdiza!" "Why don't you tell them to knock it off?" "I'm out of my mind!" "They sing to not feel the tiredness." "If they stop, they don't march." "Nice walk, huh?" "Truly!" "Clean air, sun, a nice choir..." "There is nothing better." "Great!" "Since there are 4 more days of travel." "4 days to get to Eguadaba?" "Thanks a lot." "Four days of marching!" "No!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Courage!" " Goodnight." " Get up." "Column!" "Halt!" "Rest!" "Backpacks on the ground!" "Why did we stop?" "What?" "They won't drink?" " They no like this water." "Poor babies!" "They want mineral water?" "Mules not drink if in water there are corpses." "Fuck you!" "Don't drink, idiots!" "The water is infected!" "I gotta tell you everything myself!" "What an invention, these spaghetti!" "Really good, true?" "What spoils them is the choir." " I'd give anything for a cup of tea." "And I, for a beer served by a waitress with just an apron." "There was one such place." " They opened such a place?" " No, they closed it." "At ease, at ease." "I came only to see if I can do something for you." "Anyway, I can promise that at Eguadaba you'll eat a bit better." "And that is, in four days." "But you, how..." "Sorry." "I forgot that your information service is the best in the world." "But what's the use, if we're captive?" " Right." "So, goodnight." "Try to sleep soundly." "There is still a long way to go." "You'll do it on your own, comrade." "Because we will try to scram." "What about going away on horseback of an antelope?" "What?" "Of an antelope." "Look." "Hey!" "Bravo!" "You like spaghetti, huh?" "One can tell you're Italian!" "Good, the English cigarettes, huh?" "Listen to that stuff!" "Stop that!" "Cut it out!" "Silence!" "Excuse me, but I thought they'd better rest a bit." "You may give no orders here, Major." "You're a prisoner." "And if I want them to sing, they'll sing all night long!" "Then at least teach them another tune!" "Bravo!" " Since when you take orders from the British?" "They must sing, understand?" "Make them sing!" "And what do we sing, lieutenant?" ""Little black face" again!" "You hear?" "These must be the Italians." "No way!" "Italians don't sing like that." " Sure, Italians sing better than that!" "But that's one of their songs!" "Come on!" "Let's take a look." "Soon, move!" "Go on!" "Go on!" "They have ordered me." " What orders, what orders!" "You got no common sense?" " I thought, for the morale of the men..." "Morale?" "Think of their lives, rather!" " The British!" "Where?" " Across the walloon!" " Two men to the prisoners." "Quench fires!" "Muster machine-gunners!" " Someone with me to the fires!" "Machine-gun platoon, muster!" " Hurry up, there!" "I imagine it's Thomlinson." "I hope he holds tight and calls the others." "Major." "Please, come." "Take this." " Quick!" "Quick!" "Del Prà!" "Stay here, and make sing the natives!" " Sing?" "Yes, sing, all the repertoire!" "Blasi, place your men on the left." "Sergeant!" "Bring your unit here!" " Yes, sir!" " Quick, quick!" "All of you, here!" " Come on guys!" "Down, down guys!" "Quick, quick!" "Bartolini, place the machine gun!" "Sing!" "It's turning a bit bad." "Damn it!" "Be careful, Dick!" "Do not come forward, darn!" "Fire!" " Fire!" "More ammunition, soon!" "Converge firing!" "Doctor!" "Doctor, quick!" "Here!" " Major!" "Major, watch out!" "Bring him here, soon!" "What shall we do, Captain?" "Men don't make it any more." " Tell that to the British who chase us." "But the Brits are now far." "Give a halt." "I'm in command now, but don't assume that I enjoy it!" "Walk!" "Close ranks!" "There they are." "It's starting." "Anyway, how can we move?" "I have 9 men with a fever, 16 with infection to the feet,.." "and I have nothing to treat them." "So what?" "Shall I phone the Red Cross?" "Come on!" "Try to spare them a bit." "Today you could have let them rest." "Where?" "At the war cemetery?" "You worry about swollen feet?" "I think that a bullet in the head is far worse!" "I must take them to Eguadaba!" " And I am speaking as doctor." "But you don't know what it means to have responsibility of a command." "With two prisoners and the British who don't let up seeking us!" "But how do you know?" "And those fires?" "The county fair?" "Look." "Poor Major!" "Right now he had to die!" "Look at that!" "Idiot!" "He lights a fire and you stand there looking?" "He was heating water for the pasta." " He was making signals!" "Got it, stupid?" "Signals!" "You should control yourself a bit." "You are acting like a kid." "This is stuff for spies, Major, spies!" " Come on..." " I'll have you shot!" "What?" "You will be tried and executed, because you're a spy!" "How dare you threaten a prisoner of war?" "Don't you know it's against the Geneva Convention?" " You know what I do with it?" "Oh, I can imagine!" "Listen, wise guy!" "You were doing signals!" "Signals to whom, for heaven's sake?" " To the Brits, who are seeking us!" "They're not keen to find you." " Anyway, you're a spy, you did signals!" " Not true!" "You did signals!" " I did not!" " You did signals!" " It's not true at all!" "You did signals!" " I did not do signals!" "And now listen." "The Brits chase your unit because they don't know which unit it is." "To stop them, let them know it, and also that Capt. Blasi is in command." "They'll have a good laugh and will go away." "And what about this joker?" "We need to fight people with such mustache?" "Aren't you ashamed?" " Come on." "Anyway, try again, and I'll shoot you!" "Then we'll see who laughs!" "Forget it, Vittorio." ""Let him know who you are" he says." ""And the British will go away."" "I'll show you who we are!" "Everything will settle once at Eguadaba." "And when we get there?" "With these bastards always chasing us!" "Bernasconi..." "And if he's right?" "Would the Brits let us be if they knew how in what state we are?" "Well, maybe, if they knew." "But they don't know." "Well, I go to sleep." "Those two, though, they know it." "What about them?" "They're here, prisoners." "Goodnight." "Signals!" "He took me for an redskin!" " I was heating some water." "Anyway, let's hope we can scram." " Look out, old chap, careful!" "So?" "What are they doing, my prisoners?" "They're not sleeping yet?" "Or plotting, maybe?" "And with this stick, what do you do?" "With the excuse of golf, it is a weapon." " You're right!" "He threatened even me." "But, golf is really fun?" "I've never played." "You didn't speak seriously before, you were nervous, right?" "I was not nervous." "You said seriously." " Sure." "How you can think to be a threat in your conditions, I just don't know." "But I do know." "Why, you think I like making war?" "I'd gladly stay at home." "And on Sunday go to the game, to the movies, to dine..." "Just about what I like too." "But sadly there is war!" "Which creates absurd situations." "Take us, for example." "You are enemies, and prisoners." "War no longer concerns you." "For me instead, besides the war concerns..." " There is us." "Right!" "As enemies, if I shoot you, they give me a medal." "As prisoners, if I scream you're offended." "While you just think of escaping," "I must feed and guard you, otherwise you'll flee without notice." "It's your right." "The prisoner has the right to try and escape." "I read it... in the Geneva Convention." "And the best part is that I must respect this right." "However, the enemy's military authorities have the right to prevent escapes." "What are you saying?" "This, actually, I didn't read it." "Maybe that page was missing." "I think of what you could report on us, if you had the chance to escape!" "That it is not worth chasing us!" "You would tell, wouldn't you?" "Be sincere." "I really think so!" "If you had the chance to escape, obviously." "Obviously, yes." "Here's back your stick, and I wish you a good night." "But a good night really good!" "Go!" "Obeying is nasty, but commanding is worse." "Bernasconi..." "How about if I suddenly get the idea to let escape the prisoners?" "Very well!" " What?" "It is salvation!" "Think, Bernasconi." "In our conditions, how would I bring men safely to fort Eguadaba?" "With the Brits hot on our heels?" "If instead the prisoners reported that it isn't worth chasing us, they would leave us in peace." "It's a tactic also used by Caesar." "Yes, but to let the enemy know how strong were the Romans." "Not how weak they were." "The mules?" "Caesar let them be taken away?" "What're you doing?" "I give you a hand and you take the whole arm?" "This way..." "They'll do sooner to tell the British that it's not worth chasing us." "As you say." "Bravo." "Congratulations, Richardson." "Very good." "Sit down." "If you don't mind, I'd rather stand up." "The mule was hard, and..." "It was a great feat." " A child's play, sir." "Oh, stop it, please." "You know I can't stand false modesty." "It's something I leave to civilians." " Seriously, nothing special." "If I congratulated you is because you deserve it, no point denying it." "Sit." "I'd rather stand up." "So, those people are in a sorry state." " Comatose, sir!" "No food, no ammunition, and completely demoralized." " Very good." "So, nothing to worry about." "Let's see." "Where... where you left them?" "Excuse me, sir." "Around here." "Journeying toward fort Eguadaba." "Eguadaba..." " Yes, sir." " Hold on." "Means nothing to you, Sandy?" " More enemy troops are heading there." "They try to regroup." " Did you see?" "I knew there was something behind!" "Good!" "A mission for you, Richardson." "Sit down." "I'd like to to remain standing, sir." "Couldn't you send the C squadron?" " Why?" "I think it would embarrass me to return to the scene of the crime." "What crime?" "Well..." "It's to mean... that is..." "It's difficult to explain." "It's that I'd rather not go, if alright for you." " You discuss my orders?" "No, Colonel!" "Just, it's as I told, that's all." "Listen well, Major." "When I give an order, I want it executed." "The fort of Eguadaba can give us big hassles sooner or later." "For which reason, take your squadron and smash it to pieces." "The fort, I mean." "Not the squadron." "Okay?" " Yes, sir." "So then, this is the track to Goba, and here is Eguadaba." "Fix the fort issue and be up here in three days." "Yes, sir." "Eguadaba!" "Come on, guys!" "What fort is it?" "They can spit on us from all sides!" "Eguadaba!" "I've done my duty!" "Prepare the certificate, Bernasconi!" "Now I can cede the command and retire to sedentary services." "Oh!" "You think I'll get even a small medal?" " Yeah, and promotion on the field!" "You already think to be home, huh?" "And now what do we do?" " What do we do?" "I don't know, they're all fled, I've no orders!" "The last order was to come here and regroup." "But with whom?" "With their fucking souls, since there's nobody here!" "Oh God!" "They're cannons!" "What's up?" "From where leap out, these?" " The machine guns, quick!" "Stay down, idiot!" "They got cannons!" "On the ground!" "Captain, the British surrender!" " What?" "Look, I can't understand anything anymore!" "They have tanks, yet surrender!" "But where do we put these prisoners?" " It is they, who ask us to surrender." "To negotiate the surrender, you must raise a white flag." "Then give it back." "I only have that one." "Todini." "Come on, come on, hurry up!" " The Italians always take it easy." "On the other hand, why should they hurry?" "Oh, there they are!" "It's him, that guy." "It's him!" "And now what's up?" "So, what does it matter?" " Ugly filthy alcoholic!" "He cheated!" "While he laughed!" "I thought stupidly that an enemy may be fair!" "It's all fault of Julius Caesar!" " What's that?" " What do you want?" "What now?" " I won't surrender to that guy!" "I'd rather throw myself under a train!" "Vittorio!" "There's no trains here!" ""They'll laugh at Capt. Blasi" he said!" "And now he comes to get me!" "We must surrender, otherwise they make us all to pieces!" "Better to die than be prisoner of that yellow face!" "Oh, come on!" "Let me!" "Let me, I tell you!" "Hands off!" "It's me the commander!" "It's me who decides!" "I don't surrender!" "No, I said!" "Vittorio!" "Alright!" "I can not defend the fort alone, and I have no right to sacrifice you guys." "Let's go, I surrender." "Remember though:" "I only do it for you!" "Good thing they got to an agreement." "Maybe we can ask the honors of war." " Lucky you who like this nonsense!" "Asking the honors of war to him!" "But you know who he is?" "Good morning." "First thing: the mules?" "First thing: the salute?" " Thief!" "Ask him if he's ready to negotiate." " Ask him why he's ashamed to look at me." "Ask him if he knows that we are at war." " Ask him..." " What is this tomfoolery?" "You're here to surrender, not to insult!" " Tell him the conditions." " No!" "I tell you the conditions!" "I want the honors of war." " Bravo Captain!" " Shut up you!" "The honors of war." " What?" " I said the honors of war!" "It's an ancient custom." "The unit parades in full battle gear, while we present up arms as if they had won." "I say, are you joking?" "Now is 11:41." "You have thus an hour to leave the weapons in the fort and to let out the men." "In one hour I'll open fire." " Ah!" "In one hour he opens fire!" "And who cares if you open fire!" "What did you expect?" "That I'd start to tremble with fear?" "Thief!" "Come and get me in one hour!" "You'll realize who is Captain Blasi!" "Let me!" "You think they'll resist?" " Yes, with no weapons?" "But what are we waiting for?" "Can I give order to shoot?" "The term has expired." "You want to kill them all?" " It's not our fault, after all." "It's a mistake to waste time this way." "They'll think that we don't mean business." "Sergeant Trevethan!" "Go over there and rally those men." " Yes, sir." "Hey, Hilary!" " Yes?" " Please, offer Capt. Blasi a ride up to here." " Yes, sir." "Well, even giving him a ride..." "Well, it's just... it's a courtesy." "Come on, guys, get in line!" "If you're good I'll even snap a color photo!" "We glad to surrender to white brothers." "Can we have some tea?" "Of course, with canapes!" "Come on, be good!" "Come here, you!" "They're gone!" " Who's gone?" "The Italians." "There's no more one." " And how?" "From the other side, telling the natives to exit at 12:41." "Without a watch, though!" "They made us the surprise!" " That Blasi!" "What he hopes to get?" "We could have surround the fort, but it may have seemed a military operation." "Go back to the base with the natives, we'll chase the Italians." "Quick!" "They got a one hour lead!" " They won't go far on foot!" "Good for them!" "How we climb up there with the tanks?" " I don't know, but we'll try!" "It's not worth it!" "It won't be those 40 Italians to win the war!" "Neither the British army nor myself want to pass as fools!" "But especially myself!" "Forward!" "Damn!" "Out of the way!" "Get moving, over there!" "What're you doing?" " Get the shovel!" "Yeah, the shovel!" "Soon we'll nab them again." "Yeah, nail them by the tail!" "Come on, guys, another small effort and they won't reach us anymore!" "Oh God!" "Oh, the Kelebas!" "I had told you to surrender, I don't need you!" "Why always after me?" "What do you want from me?" "We can't exclude that we surpassed them." " Don't overdo it now." "Look at him!" "Like a dog chasing its tail." " Trouble is, the tail is us." "Better be the tail than the head." " Maybe, but the tail is the first to be cut." "You say?" "Let's go back." " Sergeant!" " Yes, sir!" "We go back!" "Pass the order." " We go back!" "Get to your places!" "Just a minute!" "Suspend!" "Suspend, sergeant." " Hold it!" "Wait!" "Hey, hey, Micheletto!" "The spaghetti!" "They were good, huh?" "Don't you remember, Micheletto?" "Come here." "Come on, don't be afraid." "Be good." "Come on, you were such a good boy!" "Come." "Come!" "Come on boy." "Come." "Come away, you're tired, you need a rest." " Give me a cigarette." "Huh?" " Give me a cigarette!" "Thank you." "With this sun, the water in his head started to boil." "It's you, right, Micheletto?" "Good the cigarette?" "I know that you like." "Is the antelope their mascot." "I knew they were around here." "Make get off men and follow me in silence." " All get off and silence." " All off!" "Here, corporal." "There will be antelope at lunch!" "At the officers mess." " Let's go hunting." "Nice useless excursion!" "I'm..." "I'm very sorry." "I've seen hogwash in the army, but this surpasses all limits!" "Come on, Sergeant!" "Go back, guys!" "They haven't harmed him!" "If you let it escape again, I'll eat it, Micheletto!" "Take it away." "Goodnight." "Lucky you!" "I've a hunger that I no longer feel the stomach." "Lucky you!" "Instead I need baking soda." "Oh, yeah?" " Yes." "Yesterday I swiped the ration of today:" "canned beans." "And today, that of tomorrow: still beans." " Cowards!" "Let me!" "Let me!" "Hurry!" "Give the alarm!" "Guys, quick!" "Let's go." "Come on, Sergeant!" "All in their places, come on!" "Move, move, come on guys!" "Come on, hurry up idlers!" "Come on, hurry!" "Go!" "Go!" "Wretch!" "You shoot?" "I'll send you on trial!" "Who was it?" " They." "Give it here!" "You're not black warriors, you're four madmen!" "Go away or I'll kill you!" "Go away!" "Disappear, cannibals!" "Away!" "Maybe it is someone who goes hunting." "Yes, sir!" " Absolute silence." "The first one who talks will walk barefoot for three days." "Ready, Major." " Well." "Seen they were there?" "Don't you smell something burning?" "Yes." "Must be one of those horrible Italian cigarettes." "No, it's a stronger smell." " True." "Unbelievable but true!" "The fire!" "Damn, the tanks!" "Sergeant!" "That men do not scatter!" " Yes, sir!" "Damn!" "They're all aflame!" "Away, away!" "Come on, come on, it's not worth it!" "There's nothing to do!" " Abandon everything!" "Come away!" "Hurry!" "Everybody back!" "Down to the pond!" "All in the pond!" "In the water!" "Move it!" "Come on, quick!" "Gather them all on that islet!" " Okay!" "You bring them down into the water!" "Captain, over here!" "There is a pond!" " Where?" " A pond!" "Over there!" " There's a pond, guys!" "All into the water!" "Criminal!" "You set afire a woods to seize us?" "Let's first save the men, then settle matters!" " Settle what, arsonist!" "But who set fire?" " You did!" " What fire?" "Stop it!" "Bring your men on the island, and stop being overexcited!" "Raving lunatic!" " You wanted to burn me and my men, right?" "But I was on the other side, how could I do?" " And who was it?" "Me?" "You want more?" " No." " Go on." " Listen." "For me, here the war should be over." " Imagine for me!" "Come on, Vittorio." "There's nothing to do!" "And I prefer alive men to dead heroes!" "Let's get it over with." "A squadron destroyed!" "Not even had we fought the whole Italian army." "The return trip will be quite long." "I think maybe it's best if we aim directly on Goba." " Goba?" "Well, it will take anyway about ten days, and we have no maps." "We'll end up going to Addis Ababa." " We know the direction, we'll manage." "And if we meet enemy units?" " It's a risk we have to take." "Come on, let's get ready!" "Well?" "Are you ready, Captain?" "Oh, we are." "And you, are you ready to carry our weapons?" "To feed us according to the Convention..." " Sergeant Trevethan!" ""Yes, sir!"" ""Yes, sir!"" "Buffoons!" "Anything but over!" "Hey, hold it!" " Stop the column!" " He's feeling bad!" "Stop!" " Don't you hear?" "Come on, guys!" "Let's show them who we are!" "Look who's talking!" "Abdisan!" "Halt!" "English?" "Ask him where we are." "He says it's the region of Ras Dejadar." " I know, but ask him where we are!" "We're allies of the British, long live Haile Selassie and the King of England!" "The Italians are usurpers, invaders, oppressors." "Death to the Italians!" "Tell him that we welcome the alliance and if we can get some food." "Says Italians have taken everything, so he has right to take Italian rifles." "Says he want Italians too!" "Tell him I'm not going to give him neither Italians nor their rifles." "If it suits him, fine, if not, tough!" "Says: then give us the rifles and keep Italians." "But tell him to go to..." "never mind." "On the march!" "Stop!" "I'll tell you when to move!" "A bit of water won't hurt you." "It will clean you up!" "Put the rifle under the shirt." " Yeah, in the knickers!" "Major!" "Some 30 huts, and all abandoned!" " Better than nothing!" "Shelter the men, sergeant Trevethan!" " Yes, sir!" "Company!" "Break ranks!" "Follow me!" "Company!" "Attention!" "We are ready, sir." " Thanks, sergeant." "At ease." " Well, sir." "At ease!" "Attention!" "At ease!" "I'd like to have you handy in the barracks!" "Attention!" "Where is Captain Blasi?" "Is absent, sir." "Lieutenant, wish Capt. Blasi good-day and tell him we're awaiting him for the usual walk." " Yes, sir." "Company!" "At ease!" "You mean to leave here the sick, Major?" "Blasi feels better than all of, so tell him to join us." "I was speaking of Lt. Hilary." "Yeah, I forgot, sorry." "How is he?" "He's got pneumonia." "It seems rather serious." "Can he be carried?" "Would lose his life." "Got it, doc." "Let me!" "Take off your hands!" "Shall I die to demonstrate that I'm sick?" "Looks like a scarecrow!" "Let's go, but you're responsible for my death, Major!" "First, it's a responsabilty that I accept gladly." "Second, I won't consider your ridicolous attire." "Third, go back to sleep, we're not going." "Why not?" " Because Lt. Hilary is sick." "Thanks a lot!" "That's British justice!" "If the sick is me, we go." "Hilary's sick, and we don't go!" "But he's got pneumonia!" "Listen, goat-beard: have you ever asked me if I have pneumonia?" "It seems we'll stay here for a while, sergeant." "Organize men." "Including the prisoners." "For..." "To clean up the village." " Yes, a nice cleaning." "Yes, sir!" "I'd suggest to dig even a latrine." "We have a couple of shovels." "And what good is a latrine in the middle of the desert?" "It's no use!" "But it's a good rule to keep men occupied." "So they won't drown in idleness!" "Leave it to me." "Sergeant Todini!" "Sergeant Todini, our moment is here!" "The moment when everything would go down the drain if there weren't NCOs!" "Tell me, sergeant." "Which is the worst thing that can happen to a soldier?" "Losing his life." " No, no!" "Lazing around!" "Hanging around twiddling his thumbs." "Look there." "They think to be on vacation and to sprawl out all day quietly basking in the sun." "But we know better, right, sergeant?" "And we have our own little plans." "So, your men will dig a latrine, and mine, nice holes that then they'll fill again." "Company!" "On your feet!" "Come on, stand up, that instead of the walk you'll have some restful work!" "Come on, hurry up you!" "But, is it worth it?" " I can't stand the stubble." "Anyway, who gave you the razor?" "The sergeant." "Who else could save a razor from a forest aflame?" "We're alive by a miracle!" " Yes, but we're in deep trouble." "This time I don't know how we'll manage." "Sure, the situation is not cheerful." "Short on food, all in bad shape, and if they attack us, I don't know the outcome." "What do you think?" "Oh, jolly good!" "May I use it?" " Yes." "Thanks." "So we'll become blood brothers!" "Captain Blasi refuses to give permission to the Italians so they dig a latrine!" "Oh, he refuses, huh?" "Now we will give him a shake!" "Hey you, there, hurry up!" "I know you have prohibited your men to dig a latrine..." " Was not a joke?" "What you do with a latrine in the desert?" "Neither you nor your compatriots are qualified to give us advice of hygiene!" "My compatriots built the sewers when your ones still painted their faces blue!" "Since then we have made progress." "Indeed, now, you paint your face in red." "It happens if you try to shave in difficult circumstances." "But who makes you do it?" " Our self respect!" "One thing to you absolutely unknown!" "Of course it's your self respect." "It's so yours that you forgot to respect others." "You think there's only one way to do things, the English way." "No!" "I am Italian, and I do things the Italian way!" "Sorry, but here you do as I say!" "I want a latrine and you'll make it dig!" "But if here we don't eat, what we do with latrines?" " I don't know!" "But I want the latrine." " Make your own." "You will order to dig it!" " I won't order to dig latrines!" "And I say that you will make dig two, indeed!" "Of which one for the officers." "So then." "Either you'll do what I said, or I'll be forced to punish you." "I have no more to add." "Will end this war!" "And where will you hide, Major Richardson?" "If Hilary can not move, we will be stuck here for days." "It's no joke!" "We'll have to put us to half-ration." " We are already on half-ration!" "You want to inspect the latrine, Major?" "Certainly!" "Magnificent, Captain Blasi!" "Extraordinary!" "Congratulations." "Indeed, make prepare five others, one for each officer." "Come on, guys, what's this slackness?" "Come on, even out that wall." "And you, straighten the tail of that masterpiece." "Not bad, though!" "Hey, look how cute." "You need it?" " I'll throw you this if you don't..." "Hey, you, what d'you think you're doing?" "Come here!" " But is he who..." "Damn you!" " Hey, he got angry!" "One, two!" "One, two!" "Left face!" "Guard, Halt!" "Turnabout!" "Try that again, and I'll teach you!" " What?" "Squad, forward, march!" "Let's give him a hand." "Come on, go!" "Oh..." "Haul!" "Courage." "Hey, what is this?" " Looks like a football." "Skip!" "Pass it here!" "Come on, let's play a match!" "Here I am!" " Wait, me too!" " Pass the ball!" "Hold it!" "Let's split up into two teams." "Italians on one side, Brits on the other." "You do the captain." "You are the right wing." " I play midfield, you're the left wing." "Hey, there's me too!" "Wait!" "Hush, Whistle, if you speak you seem the referee!" "Nice overhead kick!" " Bravo!" "Listen, duffer." "Stop throwing kicks, got it?" " But I..!" "Look who's complaining, that seems a mule!" "Bastard!" "Get him, guys!" "Stop!" "Stop there!" "What're you doing?" "Stop it!" "What's going on, here?" "What're you two doing?" "Stop it, you've gone mad?" "I got it!" "Stop it, you!" "Split up!" "What's going on here?" "Enough!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "Stop your men, captain, or it's trouble for you!" "The trouble is for you!" "I know my men, they thrash!" "Stop, you!" "I'll put you all in irons!" "Is it right that a dirty soldier puts his hands on an officer?" "Enough!" "Stop it, really!" "Bring me that ball!" "Where you think you are?" "At the stadium or at a campsite?" "You remember we're at war, or not?" "I want all names..." " Your men started it!" "Quiet!" " If you punish my men, I'll protest with the authorities..." "What is it?" "Sergeant!" " Yes, sir!" "Arm the men and rally them as soon as possible." " Yes, sir!" "Boys!" "Rally with the arms." "Come on, quick, hurry up!" "They're back for the rifles, huh?" " And not only for the Italian ones." "I'm wondering how many they are." " Too many, I'd say." "Captain Blasi!" "Rally the prisoners down the clearing." " Why don't you give us back our guns?" "Do what I said, Captain." "Who knows what they're waiting for." " The darkness, I suppose." "Anyway, the village is not defensible." "Of course, we'd be better off against those rocks." "Why don't we try?" "This is an idea." "Here." "Sergeant Trevethan!" "We'll deploy in defense on those rocks." " Yes, sir!" "Doctor, we'll have to drag even Hilary." "Useless, Major." "He's dead." "Sure!" "Curing you, feeding you, carrying arms for you, fighting for you..." "You are dead weights!" "We would fight, if we had our rifles!" "At Eguadaba you had them." " Yes, and you had guns and tanks!" "Give me a bayonet!" "Take this, so we'll see if you're good at it!" "What do you do?" "They'll send you on trial!" " Don't bother me!" "Satisfied?" "You said they were awaiting darkness." " And so it is." "They're not stupid." "They'll have much less damage after the moonset." "By then, it will be pitch dark." "I saw something similar down in Khyber, in India." "When the moon sets, they show up." "I never understood how one can choose a military career." "Well, is not bad, in time of peace." "Blasi told you about the guns issue?" "The Italians are keen to help us." " Yes, I know." "It is a delicate problem." "I don't think I can return him the weapons." "I have enough trouble as is." "You think we could scram by that gorge?" " No, they would see us." "And we would be in a situation yet worse." "According to you, we have a chance to get away with?" "None." "We'll go on trial, all of us!" " Come on, wimp!" "You Londoners don't understand a damn." "Moccia, you know what's in a Londoner's head?" "Only fog and water of the Thames." "Having no weapons," "I arrange as I can." "If they come down by here... they stumble on the wire." "I'd have thus at least the opportunity to give him a kick in the head." "I know, it isn't really a great idea." "What do you say?" "Oh, you have imagination!" "You could even... win the war, with your imagination!" " It's one of my few qualities." "Before I left, my wife told me..." " Your wife?" "Yes." "Why?" "Well, nothing." "I didn't think you had a wife, that's all." "Why, it's strange?" "Sure I have a wife." "And also two children." "Here." "Very pretty." "And these two devils?" " Very likable." "And you know what my wife said?" ""I don't care if you're not a hero, but come home to me."" "Are you married?" "Don't you have a photo of your wife?" "No." "Goodnight." "So you heed to your wife, huh?" "It's cute!" "Yes, but we had to kill it, was ill." " What have you done?" "The dog, I mean." "What, you mind that I saw the picture?" " No, not at all." "I've let you see mine." "Why you didn't?" "You have no respect for me, Major." "Right?" "I know why." "Because I don't like war and am not a good soldier." "Neither am I, for that matter." "But... at least I try." "I would fight willingly to defend my home." "But this war..." "I don't understand it." "I do my duty because I'm forced." "If it were that simple..." "But for me it is." "Well!" "Maybe I talk too much." " No!" "No." "We must not keep everything inside." "It's better, letting off steam." "What's your wife's name?" "Anna." "Mine is Helen." "I hope you realize what you're doing." " Of course!" "And you, realize that things can not get any worse." "At least, we'll have 40 men more." " But what will the Colonel say?" "I'm in charge, here!" "I don't care of the Colonel!" "Certainly, sir!" "Take here." " Thank goodness there is someone with a little common sense!" "And the ammunition?" " I only took the rifles." "Well, now get the ammo." " I haven't seen any." "Of what use are rifles, without ammo?" " Don't shout!" "We lack the magazines!" " Which ones?" "Those of the Italians, sir." "They were in the shed 3." "And it's impossible to go back there." "It's my fault." "Unfortunately." "That too!" "Well..." "What're you doing there stock-still?" "Let's try through the gorge." "But they'll see us." " Even when it's dark?" "But if darkness is good for them, can be good for us too!" "Maybe he's right." "Once, in India, we made pass nearly a whole company of lancers under the nose of a tribe." "Nearly all, not all." "Well..." "It's hard that the last ones may pull through." "We'll do so." "We'll go 6 at a time." "You, with the first group." "Take Capt. Blasi's torch." "When you're safe, do a signal." "We'll send 6 more who will do the same, and so on." "Three dots and a line." " Yes." "The Captain and I, we'll come with the last ones." "Prepare your men." " Yes, sir!" "Come on!" "Quick!" "Quick, quick!" "Go!" "Come!" "Ready, guys." "At place, here." "Go easy, easy!" "Come!" "Quick, boys!" "Come on." "You now!" "Go ye also, Sergeant!" "Go!" "We made it!" "Bravo!" " Bravissimo!" "Oh God!" "Who are these?" "Who are you?" "Are you negroes?" "Oh, mamma m..!" "Six at a time." "A godsend for them." "I say we were lucky." "I thought they'd cut our feet." "Instead they were satisfied with the shoes." " Rotten luck!" "One trouble after another!" "Listen!" "Down with the King of England!" "Down with the King of Italy!" "You, make war at your home!" "We, at our home!" "So, all happy!" "And now, away!" "There's a road!" "It went well, after all!" " That's right!" "It must be the road to Goba." "A luck." " Yes, by now must be already ours." "Sergeant!" "Men in column!" "Now all is well!" " Yes, sir!" "Come on, boys!" "Forward, by three!" "Congratulations." " We made it." "Yes, we arrived to the road." "But if we go to Goba, we're still captives of the Brits." " Yeah, he's right!" "Let us content ourselves, guys." "We arrived to Addis Ababa!" "What's with them?" "What's up?" "Dear major, you couldn't pick a better road than this!" "You know where you led us?" "To Addis Ababa!" "We are way far from the British lines!" "I should have kill you at Eguadaba." "Sergeant, line up the men!" " In line by three!" "Maybe I too could've wished your death, in seeing you as happy as we are now." "But are the jokes of the war, my friend." "Resign yourself to your fate." "Farewell and good luck." "Forward, march!" "We're going home, Bernasconi!" "What is it?" "Aren't you happy?" "We'd better leave too." "Sergeant Trevethan!" " Yes, sir!" " Let's move!" "Company!" "Attention!" "Right turn!" "Forward, march!" "I thought he'd get a stroke when he saw that milestone." "What should I do?" "Start crying for him?" "Because soon they'll be prisoners, and us, we'll be happy at our home?" "We'd better get off the road, after this stretch." "Yes, you're right." "Sergeant!" "There are trucks, sir!" " Quick!" "Off the road!" "Guys, don't raise your head or I'll chop it off!" "Remember what I said!" "At the first trace of a path, we leave the road." "Rally the men." "Sergeant Trevethan!" "Rally the men!" " Yes, sir!" "Come on, boys!" "Rally!" "Get moving!" "Don't sleep, down there!" "Other enemy trucks, sir!" " Quick, off the road!" "Lie down!" "Down, or I'll slice off your heads!" "Hey, you!" "They're our guys!" "Hello there!" "May we know where you're going?" " Addis Ababa." "Addis Ababa?" " What goes on here?" "But, from where you're popping out?" "One moment." "This is the Major Richardson!" "Sorry, sir." "That idiot says that you're going Addis Ababa." "Exactly, sir." "The city has fallen." "And we go there for the parade of victory." "Excuse me, sir, if I dare asking, but, and your shoes?" "We have... worn them out by walking." "A nice walk." "And how!" "But not nice." "What a pity!" "Oh, Richardson." " Yes?" " Now that you're dressed again in the latest fad, bring your men to take delivery of the new vehicles." " Yes, sir." "And, I urge you:" "this time, have more care of them." "Or, your next report, you shall submit it to the military court." " Yes, sir." "Quick, boys, rally!" "Get moving!" "You're not on holiday, here!" "Platoon!" "Attention!" "At ease!" "Platoon..." "Alright, go." "Yes, sir!" "Platoon!" "Attention!" "Right turn, right!" "Left face!" "Present arms!" "Hey, you!" "Hurry!" "Ciao!" "English subs by edam17@KG April 2013"