"Previously on "In Treatment"..." "Let's just cut to the chase, okay?" "Saturday morning, I'm standing near the bomb site." "It was like London after the Blitz, just rubble." "And all because of what I did." "I knew this should have been the drama of my life, but I felt..." "Nothing!" "This old man came over to me, and I looked in his eyes..." "And... he was sort of amused, kind of friendly... like my father looks at me when he thinks I've done something wrong." "You still think it's too early to talk about your father?" "When a person decides he's not in love with his spouse, he shouldn't have to put off leaving home." "Isn't that so?" "Don't you think that's a little extreme?" " What's your name?" " Laura." "Hey." "This... is for you." "What is it?" "An espresso machine." "The Pasquini Livia." "Top of the line." "For me?" "With a three-year warranty." "Is this some kind of hint about the coffee you had here last week?" "No hint." "It's a statement." "S01E12:" "Alex, Week Three" "Check this out." "Your coffee... was horrifying." "I don't want to hurt your feelings." "I won't tell you the truth about your coffee and what it says about you." " What does it say about me?" " I may tell you later." " So, how do you like your coffee machine?" " It's, uh, really nice." "But I, um..." "I can't accept it." "I'm..." "I'm sorry." "What, are you a government employee?" "Hey, I got this for an amazing price in an auction." " In a what?" " An auction." "On the Internet... eBay." "I pick the times when the whole country's glued to the television." "Prices drop 70, 80%, like... during the Super Bowl." "Got myself a home entertainment system, eight speakers, and a receiver for only $1,000." "Would've cost $4,500 retail." "Anyway, Thursday... was the "American Idol" finale... and I thought of you." "So I went online and grabbed this." "Could you turn that off, Alex, please?" "What?" "Just... switch it off... please." "Okay, what are you afraid of?" "What's the big deal?" "It's a coffee machine." "Look, I think it's a really... sweet gesture, and I..." "I thank you." "Don't you want to upgrade the standard of living around here?" "And I know you only drink tea, but what about your poor patients?" "Um, no offense, but... don't you feel there's something aggressive in what you're doing here?" "I mean... you haven't even asked me if it's something that I want, if it's okay with me." "Okay." "Okay, fine." "It's just a stupid machine." "Jeez." "I'm just trying to understand what you wanted to say with this." "Nothing." "What do you think?" "That by me bringing this to you that I'm..." " what, trying to buy you?" " I don't know." "Why is it important for me to have a... a coffee machine?" "Maybe because the coffee that it makes is top quality." "I come here once a week, for the time being, and uh..." "I need coffee here more than anywhere else to open up and all that crap." "So I brought the machine with me and... oh, hey... six different kinds of beans from the... totally bitter "Gourmet Guatemala"... to the kind that postal pilots drink..." ""Jungle Java", which is sickeningly sweet." "You know?" "I've got an idea:" "deduct it from what I owe you." "I don't think so." "Sorry." "Could you be mad at me for something else, altogether?" " Like what?" " Because I met a patient of yours." " You met a patient of mine?" " Yesterday." "I got the days wrong and I accidentally met Laura." "I gather it's a delicate situation when patients meet, yeah?" "What do you mean, "a delicate situation"?" "Well, I don't know." "I thought you therapists had some kind of... ethical code." "Like " " I tell you intimate details about her... things she may not want her therapist to know about her." "I leave, she walks in and tells you the same kind of information about me." "Could that be considered a "breach" in your ethical code?" "I don't think, there's any ethical problems, no." "Of course I'm not allowed to discuss other patients, but you are free to talk about what's happening in your life, and... what's happening between you and Laura like... like anything else." "Okay, but... what's happening between me and Laura wouldn't have happened if we weren't patients of yours." "You know, I met her right out front here." "That probably wouldn't have happened..." "anywhere else on the planet." "So, so you believe there's a kind of a unique significance to... the fact that you met a patient of mine?" "What do you think it is?" "I'm asking you." "Okay." "I think we've started therapy, Alex." " What?" " You brought me a coffee machine because you intend to come here more often, and you want to feel... at home." "Through Laura, you're trying to relate that message to me:" ""She's your patient... and I am, too."" "So, we are... officially in therapy." "About the coffee machine, let's do this... um..." "Let's just say it's here on loan." "As long as I keep coming here, it's here." "When it's over, I'll take it with me." "Deal?" "Okay." "I guess, um..." "I, I would like some... some time to think it over, though, but... it's okay." "Hey -- think positive." "If I remember correctly, your wife... doesn't allow you to drink coffee at home." " That's correct." " Do you feel that this is a place where you can... say and do things that you might not be allowed to do at home?" "No, that issue's solved." "Thanks to you." "I left home." "You really helped me with that in our last session, showed me that leaving home was my own personal decision." "Hey, doc, I'm serious." "You really did help me." "I left here much more determined than when I arrived... to carry out... this disengagement." "I went straight home and told Michaela I wanted to leave home." "And I said it in the same way I'd... tell her I was going to take the car to the garage." "And is that what you really... felt, that it was... so trivial?" "Yeah, that's what I felt." "Absolutely." "And here's how it happened." "Michaela was making salmon - it's always salmon on Tuesdays - and..." "I told her I wanted to leave home." "Let me tell you, she didn't even turn her head away from the stove." "She just said that, um..." ""I could've guessed this would happen." "And you never surprise me, Alex." "Not even now."" "How did you feel about that?" "Were you..." "Were you hurt by that?" "She wasn't trying to hurt me." "It's just the way she is, and..." "I may have done her wrong last week, the way I presented her." "But you've gotta understand, she's a super-intelligent woman." "When she was 22 years old, she was already working on her Ph.D. at Georgetown, so if she says she was expecting it, then I, I've gotta believe... she saw me going through something... since the bombing and the heart attack" "and the suspension from the Force." "She saw much more than I was willing to show." "And realized that it could result in us separating." "You know what's interesting is that you're talking today about your wife like..." "You know, she was some mythical... super-woman that's able to anticipate everything ten steps in advance." "As far as intelligence goes, absolutely." "Really, no matter what else you say about her, she's got the brains of a rocket scientist on the Manhattan project." "Still, wasn't there something... in her reaction that disappointed you?" "I mean, you come home, you drop this bombshell and... she's indifferent to you." "Yeah, but that isn't the case here." "We're not one of those couples that..." "creates drama... all the time." "On the contrary, we could've dragged this on for years... just for the sake of the kids, as they say." " Have you told the kids yet?" " No, not yet." "Now Roy, my eldest, he's, uh, he's been locked up in his room for days, doing some kind of chess championship on the Internet." "And Noelle, my daughter, she's on some kind of school trip." "But you will have to tell them at some time." "Of course." "Someday they'll have to accept the fact that their father... left home to look for a new life." "That's not something they can understand at their age." "And how do you think they'll feel about that?" "Well, I..." "Roy will understand me." "For sure." "He's a very special boy, he has... um... inner truth." "You know..." "Roy's 11 years old." "And he hardly ever leaves the house." "He just sits at home, he sits by the computer and plays chess and..." "I mean, he just... no girlfriends, no buddies, no basketball." "And at first it drove me crazy, 'cause he just seemed so miserable... so lonely... unpopular." "I tried everything." "I..." "I organized tours at the Air Force museum, um, for all the kids." "They could come and sit in the cockpit of a real F-16, play with the simulators and..." "It was no use." "I mean, those tours, he'd walk around all alone." "The only one near him was like some..." "I don't know, some ugly leper kid that all the kids were afraid to get next to." "It's kind of hard to see that, isn't it?" "Yeah." "Sometimes it's harder for us as parents to see our kid lonely... than it is for the kid himself." "It took me a long time to realize that." "Then I realized that... he was happy." "That I had the problem." "That I... couldn't accept the fact that he wasn't popular... that he's an outsider, and that's okay." "It's just his personality." "I used to... give him and Michaela such a hard time." "I'd call the counselor, I'd call the teachers, and everybody said, "There's no problem, the boy feels good about himself." "It's just the way it is."" "Was it hard for you to accept?" "Yeah, but, you know, today..." "I'm jealous of him... 'cause he doesn't need anybody." "He's got his own world." "He's got his movies and books and computer games and chess, and... and the kid was born without a competitive bone." "Even the chess stuff, it's not about winning." "He doesn't care if he wins." "He just likes the thinking it requires." "A few years ago I tried to organize this ping-pong tournament for his, uh... for his class in the backyard." "He turns to me and he says, "Dad, don't you feel sorry for these kids?" "Only one will win, and it's probably Robert." "And the rest will look pathetic in front of the girls."" ""Don't you feel sorry for them?"" "I swear, I don't know where he got those genes." "Certainly not from me." "You think he's too good to be..." "connected to your genes?" " Are you making fun of me?" " I just want you to listen to what you're saying about yourself." "This boy is your own flesh and blood." "You, you... you love him... dearly... you're very proud of his beautiful qualities... and yet you think," ""Well, he's the exact opposite of me." "He couldn't possibly be connected... to me."" "Please, let's not get into that again." "No." "This is completely a genetic issue." "Look, he got the female genes from Michaela and my mother." "My mother, she was the same way." "There was selflessness in everything she did, just like Michaela." "She never... felt like she was missing out on something, somewhere else." "She didn't care if she was fulfilling herself and all that shit." "There was just... there was something pure about her... wholesome, like Roy." "No, he got that from her." "So, the women in your family are... they're pure and wholesome, unblemished... and that the men are somehow... the opposite: dirty, uh... in conflict with themselves?" "That's not a bad description of my father:" "Dirty as hell." "He kept falling in love with different women at the office." "He was having affairs like some kind of dirty dog, yes." "And the guy had it made." "He had a woman at home who loved him, let him have his career, no questions asked." "She took care of the kids and made sure that the entity called "family" existed." "Yes, what you've got to understand about my dad, he lived this whole life on this... civil-rights-pioneer ticket." "You know, a guy who survived the Klan and marched with King." "Who could say anything to him?" "He suffered for us all." "And your, your mother wasn't, uh... part of that movement?" "I like him." "I like my dad." "She was from back east, from Delaware." "Well-bred." "She was the hope of the family." "A pianist." "She studied at the music academy." "She was considered a virtuoso." "She could play Liszt in her sleep." "You know Liszt?" "Only Liszt could play Liszt." "Yeah, she was really something." "She was, um..." "Rare." "You never sensed any bitterness... in her that the whole music thing... never materialized." "You still miss her?" "Of course." "She saved his life." "By that I mean at the, uh... march on Washington... in '63." "Right before King's big speech, Mahalia Jackson sang that song" ""I been 'buked and I've been scorned"." "And they caught eyes... in the crowd, and..." "They both had tears flowing down their faces." "They felt connected." "My father was this..." "lonely, angry man, and she... well, she melted him." "She was the only person he ever trusted." "He was at war with the rest of the world." "And the war ain't over, believe me." "And still he... he cheated on her." "Constantly." "The guy just wanted more and more." "All the time." "But... he didn't leave her?" "No, what are you crazy?" "Why would he leave her?" "He loved her." "You're sure about that?" "Are you, are you sure that... it wasn't just that he held her in very high esteem, and that... he was really grateful for everything that she'd done for him throughout his life?" "Are you trying to justify him?" "He could've left her." "Why make her life miserable?" "Okay, okay." "And you, unlike him, you're trying to do the right thing?" "You're leaving home, just like that." "You're not dragging out things..." "like he did." "Okay." "All right, all right." "I see, you believe in the whole theory that... children try to rectify what their parents did wrong." "All right." "Okay, okay." "I don't know that it's... about rectification." "I, I think it's more what we call a pattern." "We unconsciously repeat patterns that... we have witnessed in childhood." "But you said I was trying to rectify what my father did." "I think you're presenting it that way, but on a deeper level..." "I think there may be more similarity between you and your father's..." "view of marriage." "I don't know what you mean." "Really?" "You, you can't see any way in which you and your father may have married the same kind of woman?" "It seems to me that you both married women whom you... admire, but... but you don't necessarily love." "That's some bullshit." "You actually buy this shit?" "That I'm repeating my father's mistakes?" "Let me tell you something:" "what's going on in my marriage has got nothing to do with my father, so stop comparing us." "Perhaps -- you might not have loved Michaela because you admired her so much for being so... so perfect." "Wait, why are we still talking about Michaela?" "That story is over." "Because I'm not sure that your leaving her is really the solution to how you feel about yourself." "I wanna go back to Laura for a minute." "Why, why is it so important to go back to Laura?" "Is it because she's my patient and you think, it might bother me that you met?" "Whoa, whoa, I don't get this." "Why can't I talk about her?" "What is the big deal about meeting her?" "Hey, Paul." "You won't believe how much this cost." "$450." "I mean..." "That's crazy, right?" "Too bad they don't sell property on the online auctions." "I mean, now that Michaela has the house, during the Indy 500 or something, I could go on, get a place in the same neighborhood for almost... half a million bucks." "You -- got the deal of your life here, doc." "Someone who doesn't know about the whole TV factor would've paid $1,500 for it, minimum." "So if I'm here for a year, then that means you're renting it for... eight bucks a week." "Could we get back to our therapy session, Alex?" "Oh." "Okay." "Well, Laura... couldn't get over it." "I showed her the machine and she just... she couldn't believe it." "Would you like to, uh... would you like to tell me how you two... met?" "Sure." "I lost track of time." "I moved in with my gay friend, Daniel, and his little boyfriend." "I told you about them, yeah?" "And they... are real happy I left home." "They bring their friends over to meet me and they've turned me into the talk of the gay community." "So I've been going along with it." "you know, I go to dinners, drinks, and..." "I, I even went to this gay club with them on Sunday." "They told me there'd be some, some hot ladies there, somebody I could pick up, that aren't even lesbians, so..." "And it didn't do anything for me." "What it did, was make me lose track of time." "I was up all night long, so I could've sworn, yesterday was Tuesday, so I came here. but when I got here I saw Laura, leaving." "I walked up to her and I asked her if everything was okay." "She said everything wasn't okay, that she ran over a dog, or almost ran over this dog yesterday morning." "And then, the way she described it, it sounded like this, uh... the Airedale terrier pedigree." "The Airedale terrier is the only dog in history to be knighted by the king of England for bravery in battle." " Did you know that?" " I, I didn't know that, no." "Yeah well, it did." "It's an amazing story." "I mean, this dog..." "Okay, well, maybe next time." "So..." "I asked her if she had been leaving a... session... with you." "And she was a bit taken aback like I had caught her in something shameful." "Hell, I thought only Navy pilots felt that way about seeing a shrink." "Yeah." "Anyway, I admitted to her that I was seeing you also." "And I realized that I was here a day early." "She thought that was just hilarious." "That someone could get the days mixed up." "And she's got this..." "I don't know, she's got this way of looking at you." "You know, it's like this girl, she's got this... there's something fierce about her." "Right?" "What do you mean?" "I don't know." "She's got this look." "It's like..." "It's like she's used to getting her own way." "And you know what she said?" "She said that you could ruin even a cup of Lipton tea." "I mean, come on." "So, I guess you're both in the same, uh..." "in the same boat, so to speak." "Totally." "Anyway, so we got in my car and we... drove to the accident site." "Now, naturally, there wasn't any dog there, so we grabbed a cup of coffee and I..." "I sketched the area on a napkin." "At her place?" "No, no, why would you say that?" "No... some café." "So, I drew her an overhead view of the area." "I'm a genius at that, you know, the yards and the green areas... anywhere where a dog might make himself disappear." "Sounds like a real military operation." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Now, to be honest, I kind of miss that... just... being up in the air, reducing the area on a map," "looking for a man intelligence has been after for three months." "So, did you find the dog?" "No, no, it probably went and died somewhere." "But you could say, it still had a happy ending." "Hey, is, uh... is our time almost up?" "No, we have about..." "we have about five minutes." "Oh, sorry." "I thought this thing was off." "Speak of the devil." "I'm supposed to meet Laura." "Do you mind if I take this?" "Sure, go ahead." "Yeah, hey." "What's up?" "No, no, not yet, but... judging from Paul's face, he'll kick me out of here in a minute or two." "I know." "Right." "Okay." "Yeah, all right." "Bye." "So, what do you think?" "Should I go for her?" "Laura?" "Oh, come..." "Paul." "Come on, you can tell me." "I know it's not ethical, but... you're my shrink, too." "She's the first woman I've been out with in 15 years." "I don't want to have a lousy experience." "I'm sorry." "I can't give you that kind of advice, Alex." "But she's, she's the kind of woman that could a... you know, could drive a man insane, am I right?" "Alex, I, I " "Paul. just man to man." "Just give me a little tip here." " I can't do that." " This could affect my whole life." "I..." "I can't give you dating tips, Alex." "Sorry." "Just... stop it." "Okay." "Yeah, that's all right, 'cause I'm not used to you giving me advice anyway." "But you know, you always help out in the end." "In your... crazy roundabout... kind of way." "Oh, and when she's here for her session, uh... try to pull the espresso handle fast... 'cause she likes it with a lot of foam."