"previously on "side order of life"... jenny: ian and i -- we, uh -- we broke up." "i've come to court you." "and i found this book." "it's specifically designed recipes for people with cancer." "people live long, healthy lives after cancer, and i plan to make you one of them." "are you okay?" "yeah, i'm fine." "hey, you." "hi, dad." "thanks for coming." "life is about choices." "it's about taking good care of the people you love." "i need to talk to someone who doesn't know me." "man:i'm your man." "this whole cellphone love affair has gotten really, really intense." "where have you been?" "i've missed you." "on a plane, and i'm about to get on another one." "but i think i'm falling in love with you," "±¾×öä"½ö¹©ñ§ï°½"á÷£¬ñï½ûóãóúéìòµóãí¾" "=ææàãðü×öä"×é=- ·­òë:" "ð£¶ô:" "ê±¼äöá:" "linda" "man: hi." "i'm in china until -- well, i'm not sure when, and i don't have cell service." "leave a message here that i'll get to hopefully in the near future." "take care." "uh, it's me." "it's me, totally missing you, finding myself going crazy thinking about the possibilities of you, which -- which isn't terribly healthy or productive, considering i [sighs] don't know you." "here's the truth -- i'm lonely." "wow, that sounds bad." "i'm going through a little bit of withdrawal not being able to talk to you." "and -- and -- and by the way, this not knowing each other's name thing, i mean, it's -- it's sexy." "fun for a while." "maybe not working so much for me now." "well, travel safe." "my name is karma." "this is breakfast yoga, where we cram an hour class into 30 minutes for those of you too busy to spend the required time to pursue genuine health and spiritual enlightenment." "sounds good." "namaste." "what was -- i'm sorry." "what was that you said?" "it sounded like "my mistake."" ""namaste"?" "it's sanskrit for "peace."" "i'm sorry." "my mistake." "i mean, namaste." "okay." "standing up, we're gonna warm up with a sun salutation." "please move forward on your mats." "one breath in." "oh, i left the lamest message on cellphone man's phone this morning." "he's in china." "i feel like my entire life is on hold over some guy i don't even know." "jeez, it's the yoga nazi." "you two have some deep insight you'd like to share with the clad ?" "uh... uh, don't eat a burrito before yoga." "thank you for sharing that profound wisdom. moving on." "utitapadagustasana." "hey, you know, i'm worried about you, that you might be a little lonely and isolating yourself from everything that's out there in the world of real flesh-and-blood people." "oh, sorry. sorry." "he's giving you the eye, jenny." "shh." "you should dare yourself and go out with the first guy that asks you." "shh!" "like cute-smile guy over there." "hey, dancer, maybe if you'd stop talking and focus, you'd have an easier time." "if i had hip-replacement, i'd have an easier time." "perhaps the two of you might find more enlightenment over a latte." "sorry. she -- now." "let me get this straight, karma." "you're kicking us out of yoga for whispering?" "no, because you're a symptom of everything that's wrong with modern society." "oh, well, when you put it that way." "i'm sorry." "i mean, mistake -- namaste." "moving on!" "and listen, i'm holding you to this saying yes to the first guy that asks you out." "you've got to put down the cellphone and the blackberry and get yourself out into that world and open yourself to new possibilities." "all right." "i'll do it." "jen, i need to tell you something." "becca and ian are seeing each other." "uh, seriously seeing each other?" "like, they're sleeping together?" "i didn't want you to hear it from somebody else." "god." "no, i mean, i totally -- totally get it." "i'm glad -- glad you told me." "wow. wow." "so -- so, that's -- that's why she came down here to begin with." "it wasn't for you." "obviously, she heard we called off our wedding." "she -- she -- her bags were packed, ready to go." "she's already down here, has a new job." "i mean, it gave her the perfect setup, right?" "jen, don't go there." "i don't know why i just said that." "it was...selfish." "can i, uh, take that back?" "i have a very generous return policy." "it makes perfect sense when i think about it." "i always knew that he liked her and she liked him, and he always seemed to laugh a little more easily when she was around, and i placed too many demands on him -- don't start rewriting history." "don't lose sight of the truth." "the truth is that he's off with somebody else and i'm alone." "okay. come on." "all right. last up." "oh, boy." "adelaide the pig saves its owner, owney mischler, from pedley, california, when she has a heart attack." "and how did it dial 911 -- with its hoof?" "nobody knows, but when the paramedics showed up, only the pig was in the house, standing by the phone." "teddy, you up for this?" "nobody writes crap with heart like i do." "i can't argue with you there." "it is yours." "jenny should have it." "gee, thanks, stargell, but i'm good." "teddy, the rural types required to be interviewed are not your style." "like they're mine?" "wear your hair in pigtails, no pun intended." "wear a pair of cutoff shorts and give the folks a little daisy duke action." "you'll get the story." "okay, not only is that insulting to me, but it reduces the people of pedley to some ridiculous stereotype." "actually, uh, stargell's right." "it is a better fit for you, jenny." "i would like to approve your outfit before you head up there." "class dismissed." "you want to explain that?" "what?" "that little stunt you pulled in there." "i don't enjoy being patronized, especially in front of everybody." "i don't even know who to be madder at -- you for the way you suggested i take that story or rick for the way he approved it." "i'd go with the second one." "it's obvious to everyone and their brother around here that you and rick share some kind of special relationship." "work it out with him." "special?" "we're friends." "believe me." "there's no one special." "whatever." "you come out of nowhere and instantly become the fair-haired girl." "what do you expect?" "wow. this is all very enlightening. thank you." "anytime." "so, mrs. mischler, how -- how did you feel when it became apparent that your pig had saved you from a certain death?" "i-i felt like adelaide was, um, a-a good pig." "right." "right. amazing, really." "so, you felt...grateful?" "uh-huh." "but, uh, any idea who the real hero is?" "somebody had to dial 911, give you cpr." "yes, after i sent adelaide to get help." "did you get a good look at the person?" "no." "i was a bit fuzzy." "are we done?" "yeah. we're done." "so, um...thank you for -- for meeting me here." "no problem." "i'm a big fan of in person." "yeah, so, um -- so, this wasn't really a routine call, then, right?" "it was clear from the 911 call that mrs. mischler had been in code blue er and was brought back to normal sinus rhythm by the caller." "that's definitely not routine." "he or she must have had some medical training and administered cpr." "oh, so a doctor or a nurse." "yeah." "by the time we got here, mrs. mischler was breathing on her own and our good samaritan was gone." "um..." "can i have your number?" "uh, i'm -- oh, no, no." "sorry. sorry." "no, just for journalistic reasons, in case i have any questions." "or i can give you my number." "no problem." "here's my card." "okay. um, here's, uh -- here's mine." "oh. oh, i gave you two." "um, you know what?" "keep both in case you lose one." "that doesn't make any sense." "i'll take this one back." "okay." "so, uh...jeremy arenberg." "that's a nice name." "thanks." "adelaide?" "who's, uh, adelaide?" "adelaide's my pig." "i told you that." "i want to see you, too." "it's just i haven't told jenny yet, and i feel uncomfortable going behind her back." "well, i believe in her heart she wants me to be happy." "i just don't think she's there yet, and this might really hurt her." "okay. fine. you're right." "we should meet." "okay." "here, piggy, piggy, piggy." "here, piggy, piggy." "so, you're a telepathic pig." "yeah?" "okay." "with the weirdness that is my life, i totally buy it." "but could you just, um, confirm it?" "you know, send me another text message, please." "probably a spider named charlotte helping with this." "apparently." "or the question of whether or not i should be committed." "and blondes. trust me." "we have that much in common." "okay, um, do you mind if i just, uh, take your picture?" "okay, smile pretty." "yeah, it is." "awesome?" "oh." "right." "so, um, this mystery good samaritan -- um, what did he look like?" "that's, um, not much to go on." "yeah. you're the best." "oh, adelaide." "this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship." "set 'em up, joe." "my name's parker." "oh, yeah, i know." "it's like that song, you know." "right?" "never mind." "woman: he's 26." "his idea of "the great american songbook"" "is probably something by blink-182." "dr. rain?" "it turns out this chemo bar is more popular than you thought." "i don't know what to say." "physician, heal thyself?" "i have acute lymphocytic leukemia." "it's almost completely curable in kids, but it's rare in adults and not always as curable." "but, lucky for me, i have lots of experimental drugs at my disposal." "how are you so calm about all of this?" "what choice do i have?" "oh, vivy, let me give you some valuable advice based on my experience, first as a doctor and now as a patient." "well, you have my attention." "my cancer's not your cancer." "and my having cancer has nothing to do with you." "and when you're vulnerable like this, it's so easy to get swept up and use your precious energy on the wrong things or to use your cancer as a trump card, which isn't fair to people who love you." "it's hard to keep perspective." "here's what i'd like -- with your cancer, i'd like to treat it like a pimple onkeour ass -- not particularly special, just damn annoying." "okay, i guess i could give that a try." "oh, let's change the subject." "i was thinking about hiring a financial planner to go over my portfolio." "are you interested?" "of course." "um, are we crossing some kind of patient-doctor boundary with this?" "as long as i don't try to give you advice on your portfolio and you don't try to treat my cancer, we should be just fine." "deal." "man: raise one." "man #2:" "what is that?" "jenny:" "hey, it's me." "i figured you never go to bed before midnighve so... what's up?" "oh, i can't sleep." "some guys playing cards next door or something." "guys next door?" "this sounds like an opportunity, jenny. now go." "and remember what i said." "stay open to new possibilities." "nick: guys, guys, we've got to keep it down." "come on, fellas." "hi." "hi. come on in." "oh, uh...okay, i, um... wow. i've only ever seen dogs do that." "excuse me?" "you know, like the painting -- dogs playing poker, smoking cigars." "that's funny." "you're funny." "i'm sam, and you are... i'm a neighbor who can't sleep." "jenny. jenny mcintyre." "please sit." "he's nick. welcome." "uh, look, i'm sorry about this." "this is my dad's game, but they can't play at his house because of remodeling, so... he's a lousy poker player but a lovely boy." "i'm sorry to interrupt." "i just came by becntse, uh... you would like us to shut up." "well, uh...yeah." "please." "you see?" "i'm -- i'm telepathic." "hmm. that's actually been on my mind lately." "i know." "how do you think, uh... all that stuff works?" "telepathy is a transfer of information, of emotions or feelings or thoughts, between individuals with means other than the five classical senses." "of course, that's just off the top of my head." "dad, put away the ouija board." "we're in a new millennium." "he's young and too literal." "i believe the information is all around us. don't you?" "yeah. i do." "i-i really do." "am i crazy?" "no. would you like to have coffee with me sometime?" "dad, don't you think you might just be a little too -- it's a proposal of coffee, not marriage." "yeah. yeah." "i'd love to have coffee with you." "got pork?" "hmm, very funny." "seriously, how is it going?" "great. got the license plate for the good samaritan." "his name is thomas beauchamp." "so, the piggy did have help." "you going back up there?" "yeah, i am." "why did you give me this story?" "stargell was right." "it wasn't a teddy story." "what's the problem?" "you're off and running with this." "stargell and apparently everyone else thinks we're sleeping together." "really?" "so, what's your problem?" "why can't my work speak for itself?" "why does she have to find some excuse for my success?" "jen, you're surrounded by reporters." "they all love a good story." "the real question is why do you care?" "listen, on to a, uh, far more sensitive topic -- i, uh, was out the other night, and i bumped into -- ian and becca." "i know all about it. i'm fine." "really?" "you're fine?" "no, but i'm gonna act fine until i feel fine." "you need to get out more." "i'm getting out." "dating?" "no, not dating." "just coffee." "coffee is just a dress rehearsal for bigger things." "she is beautiful." "great pipes." "nice lines." "sweet little front end." "mmm." "i wish i didn't feel so weird about this, sneaking around behind jenny's back." "ian, whether you're my son-in-law or not, we made an investment." "just 'cause you and jenny broke up doesn't mean we have to." "you don't want to sell it, do you?" "no. no way." "all right, then we have a job to do." "let's get the parts we need to get this baby up and running." "'66 mustangs don't grow on trees, you know." "you're right." "what happens in the garage... stays in the garage." "stays in the garage." "all right, i'll get the parts we need, and we meet back here, what, thursday?" "i'm so there." "uh, mr. -- mr. beauchamp?" "hi. your wife said i might find you here." "may i?" "oh, yes." "i'm, uh, jenny mcintyre, in person magazine." "i'm doing a story about you rescuing mrs. mischler." "sorry, darling." "i have no idea what you're talking about." "oh, i have an anonymous eyewitness that gave me your license-plate number." "you're a hero." "don't you want people to know?" "i'm sorry if you've come a long distance, but you've got the wrong man." "now, if you will excuse me, i have to get back to work." "well..." "that was worth the drive." "i need to talk to you." "uh, okay." "what's -- what's wrong?" "i sat with my oncologist while i had chemo today." "is that unusual?" "it is when she's getting chemo, too." "no. dr. rain?" "yeah." "yeah, she's sick." "she's real sick, jen." "my cancer doctor has cancer." "and she's beautiful and she's strong and she's fighting real hard." "and she told me something that made me feel like i might be using my cancer as a some kind of..." "trump card." "what do you mean?" "like, if you, my best friend, have a problem, it wouldn't matter as much because it's... not cancer." "right, and let me tell you something." "i don't want that." "i don't want that trump card." "no more, jenny." "okay, look at me." "you are being too hard on yourself." "come on, i mean, this is all so monumental." "and how are we supposed to know?" "who knows what's a trump card and what isn't?" "okay?" "okay." "okay, so..." "cheer me up." "how's life on the dating front?" "oh, i, uh -- i don't know if that's gonna cheer you up." "spill." "he's kind of old." "tell me he's hot, right?" "like, harrison ford hot." "okay, clint eastwood hot?" "paul newman hot?" "not exactly." "he is adorable and smart and really good company." "yeah, i hear george burns likes to party." "he's dead." "exactly." "jenny: i thought we were going for coffee." "they have coffee here." "my best friend thinks you should always eat dessert first." "actually, i think you should only eat dessert." "is that how you stay so -- fat?" "or young at heart?" "yeah." "well, the young-at-heart part is because i'm open to new experiences." "i think that's really the secret of life." "hmm." "is that what it is?" "yes, i'm very touched -- so much so i think i'm gonna have to get another piece of cheesecake." "heart not so young." "oh, my god!" "somebody call 911!" "man:" "does anyone here know cpr?" "uh, cpr. yes." "girl scout training." "okay. okay." "911 put me on hold." "what?" "okay." "okay, cover for me!" "you!" "okay. oh, god." "oh, god." "um, jeremy arenberg." "jenny mcintyre, in person." "is this about the pig?" "no, it's not about the pig." "i've got this guy." "he clutched his heart." "he collapsed." "jeremy:" "is he elderly?" "uh, yeah, late 40s." "okay, 60, 70." "he needs a precordial thump." "i don't have one." "it means you've got to hit him in the center of the chest, hard as you can." "i don't want to." "i'm scared." "hit him." "hit him, already!" "hit him now." "jenny, hit him!" "okay. get off." "okay. okay." "oh, god, i'm sorry, sam." "arenberg:" "did he come around?" "yeah. he's coming." "yeah, yeah, yeah." "he's coming around." "i gave you a precordial thump." "that was fantastic." "yeah. okay." "oh, god." "thank you so much." "the paramedics are here." "okay." "how are you doing here, sir?" "this is our first date, and she already gave me a precordial thump." "nice." "no, it wasn't a date." "it was just coffee." "got a handle on that pig story yet?" "yeah, following some leads." "very promising." "can't wait to read it." "did you know that pigs are smarter than dogs?" "i did not know that." "way smarter." "people have pigs all wrong -- very misunderstood." "people make a lot of assumptions about pigs that aren't true." "i've got to run." "i've got a ham sandwich waiting for me on my desk." "so not funny." "okay, mr. beauchamp." "fresh-baked." "excuse me. where might i find thomas beauchamp?" "tom's on a delivery." "ah, lunch delivery." "no, honey, baby delivery." "tom is our town midwife." "he's delivered hundreds of babies." "he is a treasure." "not many doctors nearby, and we have to drive 50 miles to get to a hospital." "he should be back soon if you don't mind waiting." "okay." "how about a cup of coffee?" "that would be great." "piece of pie?" "sure." "[ cellphone rings ] oh." "hello?" "sam: it's sam -- sam wainwright." "you saved my life." "ring a bell?" "yeah. how are you?" "alive, thanks to you." "it was an interesting night." "listen, jenny, i didn't make that great an impression, but i would beg you to consider having dinner with me tonight." "well, i -- listen, if you're even considering it because your beauty so overwhelmed me that it almost killed me and that's making you feel guilty, i think you should go with that." "i do feel guilty, but...i've got to be honest with you." "i really feel like our age difference is... huge?" "basically." "well, it is." "but i can do things that young men can't even begin to." "like i have this amazing thing i can do with my ears." "it's called listening." "now, would it be so bad to laugh like that for an evening, just for one evening?" "no." "no, it wouldn't be bad." "it would be...nice." "i'll e-mail the restaurant address." "okay." "i'll see you tonight." "bye-bye." "oh, mr. beauchamp." "mr. beauchamp." "i think i know why you didn't want to tell me about saving mrs. mischler, about not wanting any publicity." "you're illegal." "i looked you up in the social security registry." "you're not a citizen." "i see. is that the story for your magazine?" "no, i'm not sure." "i'm just trying to understand it all." "i certainly don't want to hurt anybody, but -- then don't write the story." "with all due respect, sir, isn't there some way for you to do this legally?" "i wish there was." "when i escaped from haiti to come here, i had been an obstetrician with many years of practice." "but getting my license in america required going back to medical school all over again." "plus, i had no citizenship." "i had a new wife and babies." "so i came here to work in the kitchen." "one day, a customer went into labor, and i delivered her baby right here." "soon, word got out." "i've helped bring many children into the world." "a woman's life was saved." "it happens every day." "there is no story." "except..." "there's this pig." "ah, yes. the pig." "well, then, write of the pig and leave it at that." "but that's not what happened, and there's really no story without you." "then you have a choice to make." "richard:" "street or drag?" "ian:" "drag, obviously." "don't you think the drag shocks are gonna give us too rough of a ride?" "yeah, but when we punch it, we've got to control the wheel hop." "oh, right, right." "hey, ian, uh... ian, i'm really sorry it didn't work out with you and jenny." "yeah." "if it's any help, i don't think it was about you." "i really don't." "jenny is -- i think jenny's just confused." "yeah." "hey, i'm glad we talked." "yeah." "so, you think we should go straight stock or put in that aftermarket six-barrel carb, increase the acceleration, pop the horsepower?" "oh, i wasn't sure if this was -- this is my business." "oh." "i design kitchens." "i would have told you that the other night if i hadn't dropped dead." "this place is gorgeous." "thanks." "i wanted to cook for you, but i thought it would be weird to invite you to my house." "well, it looks amazing." "well, i figured it was the least i could do." "i, uh, did a -- a little research." "wow." "you're a real artist." "and you make your living with your art." "i think that is so courageous." "i wanted to be a five-star chef, but i found i couldn't deal with the rejection." "so now i design five-star kitchens." "well, if you ask me, this kitchen is art." "thank you." "listen, i just... i just wanted to... i wasn't ready to go, jenny." "i am so grateful." "you have no idea." "okay, then." "um...favorite singing group." "it's a tie -- the beatles and, um, the rolling stones." "their music is ageless, don't you think?" "i get what you're trying to do, jenny." "let's just say i'm older than bill clinton and younger than warren buffet and just leave it at that, okay?" "okay." "so, then, tell me this -- what was the hardest thing you've ever had to face in your life?" "it was in my 40s." "i underwent a profound change." "my body got older, but my heart and my mind were expanding." "do you know about the eagle?" "it can live almost 70 years." "and then, when it gets into its 40s, suddenly it loses its beak, its talons, its feathers." "but then after five months, they all grow back, and the eagle is reborn and lives another 30 years." "so the eagle has a midlife crisis." "that's right." "i just know i'm..." "in crisis." "why?" "because the life i thought i always wanted is not the life i was meant to have." "misty: it's really kind of you to work on a saturday." "i had fun with this one." "you have a lot to work with." "the oncology practice is quite profitable." "unfortunately, it is." "so, i'm suggesting a diversification of your holdings so we can get into some higher-yield stocks." "i want to keep you in those fancy shoes you like so much." "what are they called -- the ones with the red soles?" "christian louboutin." "these shoes are astonishingly sexy, which can be very empowering, if you choose to see it that way." "they just make me feel so alive." "well, i'm going to make sure that you make enough money to keep you in those crazy louboutins until you're in a walker." "vivy, i owe you an apology." "for what?" "i think i lied to you through the process of omission." "what do you mean, you lied to me?" "i'm a scientist, first and foremost, and it's my opinion i need to be putting my affairs in order." "like i said, my cancer is not your cancer." "okay." "tell me what i can do." "hmm." "i never married." "i have no kids." "i'd like you to take my money and reinvest it into a fund that pays yearly to cancer research, and you could manage it." "would you?" "yes, of course." "hmm. you know, it is just so rare we can ever know what the future will bring." "i know." "i-i have a new doctor picked out for you, an oncologist i really admire." "i'd like to bring him on now to help ease the transition." "no." "what do you mean, "no"?" "here's an idea." "how about if we just take it one week at a time?" "okay." "the onion ring salad -- world-famous." "hey, that's my dad." "and my ex-fianc\." "and they're together." "dad?" "well, what do you know?" "richard." "sam?" "oh, my." "wait a second." "you two know each other?" "of course." "sam was the master architect who redid our kitchen in the '80s." "you're too young to remember it." "so how do you two know each other?" "your daughter saved my life." "my god. how?" "we were having coffee together, and my pacemaker got overstimulated." "are you okay?" "you look fine." "oh, never better." "i mean, jenny here handled it like a pro." "she was something." "she gave me a precordial thump." "generally, i don't allow that on a first date." "a first date?" "first date. it's a joke." "he's funny." "and you are?" "this is ian daniels, and he's jenny's -- well, he's a good friend of the family, a very fine...young man." "so, tell me -- what are you two possibly doing here together?" "nothing as exciting as you two." "becca wasn't available, so you called my dad?" "your father and i were just spending some time together restoring that '66 mustang we purchased." "you're still doing that?" "i didn't think i had to ask your permission." "have you fellas eaten?" "would you care to join us?" "absolutely." "absolutely." "that was the most uncomfortable meal i've ever sat through." "like something out of a french farce." "only not funny." "and not french." "what's your real issue?" "surely it's not your father and your ex-fianc\ working on a car." "no. it's not." "it's that he's moving on and i'm stuck." "you're not stuck." "you're finding a new pace, a new rhythm to your life." "jenny, there's something i've got to ask you." "whatever it is, it can't be as embarrassing as what we just went through." "do i have a chance with you?" "yeah. that's what i thought you'd say." "well, i still..." "want to be friends." "i mean, we are friends, right?" "jenny, i don't need any more friends." "at my age, if our relationship isn't going to be more, uh, i need to move on." "so, you're breaking up with me?" "i think it's the right thing..." "for both of us." "hi." "hi." "hi." "ian, i was really rude to you earlier, and i apologize." "i-i don't care if you hang out with my dad." "and as far as becca goes, i-i don't care who you date." "it's really none of my business." "it's perfectly fine if you two want to spend time together, even if i do think it's a little weird." "i love you both, and whatever makes you happy makes me happy." "okay." "that's good." "honey, i'm glad." "rick:" "so, a precordial thump." "you've got to teach me that move." "how did you -- i've got my sources." "vivy?" "no, ian." "oh, great. ian." "you're talking to ian now, too." "let's get back to grandpa." "i gave the guy cpr, okay?" "that's all." "remember charlie chaplin and his child bride?" "or c\line dion married some old dude?" "knock it off." "i'm going back to pedley." "final visit." "so, who are you going to interview now -- the pig?" "trust me. this story is headed for a happy ending, okay?" "who doesn't love happy endings?" "hmm." "[ cellphone beeps ] damn it." "i've got to go." "you -- you can't go back to haiti." "you've left me no choice." "i received a call from the i.n.s." "no, you are living the life you're meant to." "this town, these people -- they need you." "you should have thought about that before you wrote your story." "i didn't write the story yet." "i've been too busy doing this." "this is why the i.n.s. called you." "i had a lawyer for the magazine look into your situation." "these papers declare you an alien of exceptional ability, made possible by these affidavits signed by the parents of the many children you've delivered over the years." "how did you do this?" "it was easy." "everybody eats at that diner." "i left the paperwork at the front counter." "everybody signed it." "they love you, thomas." "and there's nothing they wouldn't do for you." "you're gonna get an eb-2 green card." "you can't leave." "these people need you." "thank you." "thank you." "it's my pleasure." "will you allow me to write your story now?" "only if you let me tell it to you." "so, what's new with you and septuagenarian?" "octogenarian." "you've got to be kidding." "no, i got it out of my dad." "sam just turned 80." "he's soulful, funny, a great listener, and he doesn't want to see me anymore." "get out. why?" "'cause i won't put out." "can you believe?" "he doesn't even want to be friends." "he says he's already got enough friends." "always happy to present my humiliation for your amusement." "thank you." "fabulous shoes." "you inspired me." "you know that whole pimple-on-the-ass thing?" "now i've actually got a pimple on my ass." "it's bothering me more than the cancer, so i see your point." "glad i could be of service." "you want to go to a real bar after this?" "absolutely." "all right."