"You'd think it was just like any other institution." "The kind of place that stores information about you." "Just in case it can be used against you some day." "But it's not that kind of place." "This is a house of memory." "And imagination." "This place respects the lives gone by." "It knows that everyone deserves a place in history." "They make sure there's always another copy of everything." "I'm not afraid of death." "If you leave enough behind then death isn't the end." "In many ways, death is only the beginning." "It's always impossible to predict how your life ends." "And who or what decides." " Mam!" " Mam?" "Mam?" "Mam?" "Eben." "Eben." "It was Eben." "Mam." "Mam." "Mam!" "THE LIBRARY SUICIDES" "Nan?" "Six hours, 37 minutes." "Everything's ready now." "We're ready." "FOR ANA AND NAN" "Ana?" "Bath's ready!" "Don't forget what he did, Ana." "Stay strong." "Come on." "New security system." "Must think you're a bit shifty." "Dr Eben Prydderch." "I'm here to see Elena Wdig's archive." "Oh, yes." "I've got a memo about it somewhere." "I'll take you down." "I expected someone in authority." "You're looking at him, mate." "THE TRUTH ABOUT LIES" " Why did she top herself, then?" " Who knows?" "Dying's good for sales, isn't it?" "Elena's things shouldn't be hidden away, they should be on display." "All this fuss about Dylan Thomas is absurd." "You've got to die young if you want to live forever." "Her girls work here, don't they?" "Ana and Nan." "Never understood those names." " Palindromes." " You what?" "They spell exactly the same thing backwards." "A-N-A, N-A-N." "Palindrome." "Perfect names for twins." "Yes, well, like I said, never understood those names." "This is it?" "Better than nothing, isn't it?" "What are you going to do with all this junk?" "Write her biography." "Don't you have a life of your own?" "It's my job." "She wasn't bad, was she, for a writer?" "Show respect." "She's in her grave." "She's not, you know." "She's right there." "It's what she wanted." "They could've at least sprinkled her over Consti or something instead of leaving her here, gathering dust." "You won't find me here after I kick the bucket." "I don't even want to be here now." "What's in it for you?" "I'd like some peace and quiet now." "I've got a lot to do." "Put these on, will you?" "We don't want your grubby little fingerprints over everything." "THE TRUTH ABOUT LIES" "You're not going anywhere, you're on night shift." "Alwyn's on nights." "He's got the trots." "I've been here all day." "That's life." "I'm just following orders." "They can't do this to me." "You don't want to go back to prison." "You're still on probation." "You can do the first round." "Look at that little pudding face!" "I just need to check a few things." " I didn't know you were working." " Neither did I." " What ya doing?" " Digitising." "Digitising what?" " The White Book of Rhydderch." " Why's it white?" "The original cover was white." "Like The Beatles' White Album." "Yes, that's it." "Guess who I just met?" " Who?" " Dr Eben Prydderch." " Right." " You know him, don't you?" "Not really." " He's going through her things." " He's allowed to, now that she's..." "It's the library's property." "Is Glyn working tonight?" " Sure is." " Nan fancies him." "Doesn't everyone?" "He's got such a spark, hasn't he?" "I'll tell him if you want." "We could swap places." "I'm happy to stay here." "See you later, palindromes." "Who's there?" "Eben." " Good night." "Thank you." " Ta-ta." "Arrivederci." " Bye." " Au revoir." "Sorry, Nan." "Dan likes us, doesn't he?" "He's on our side." " We're not involving him." " I'm just saying... saving what?" "He might be the sort of person I'd consider when this is all over." "You and him?" "We don't need to decide now which one of us he should be with." " You know, I don't think..." " No." "I don't think you're suited either." "You're probably right." "Ready?" "Hiya, Glyn." "I brought you a coffee." "Thanks, Nan." "I wasn't..." "No need to apologise." "She looks like a nice lady, doesn't she?" "Finish your coffee and maybe we can have a closer look together." "I brought you this, to keep you going." " I don't drink coffee." " Oh." "Alwyn and Glyn always have one." "Do I look like Alwyn or Glyn?" "I'll get you some tea instead." "Tea's for old people." " Apple juice?" " What am I, seven?" "You're reading Mam's book." "Anaesthetic for dealing with Glyn." "You need a glass of wine." "There's gallons of it around, if you know where to look." "Go and get it, then." "I'll be back now, OK?" "OK, boss." "Have you got any more?" "Erm, yes." "Here you go." "You don't need to get me drunk." "You know that, don't you?" "I often chat with Sir John." "They say he was Jack the Ripper." "That's nonsense." "I read a book about it." "He was a doctor in London, in Whitechapel." "He treated some of those women." "And?" "He ripped pages out of his diary on the exact dates of the murders." "How do you know it was him?" "Maybe someone else ripped them out to make him look guilty." "His knife's here somewhere." "Bet that was the Ripper's knife." "You have an over-active imagination." "You need it to work here, I can tell you." "Drink up." "What's the hurry?" "Come here." "I have to go, sorry." "Hello!" "Hello!" "I had permission to work late tonight." "Anyone there?" "Dan didn't drink all of it." " How much?" "Enough?" " Not sure." "Where is he now?" "I'm a mother!" "I have two little girls." "At last!" "I'm not sure what you're playing at..." "Why did you stick the library up here, John?" "So you could get away from it all?" "Trying to forget what you'd done." "Shit!" "Glyn?" "Glyn?" "I'm meant to be checking the gallery now." "Can you let me in, please?" "Don't be a twat, Glyn!" " I didn't do anything." " Mam said it was you." "She was confused." "Why did you kill her, Eben?" "She committed suicide." "The letter." "Come on, we haven't got much time." "What letter?" "Ana!" "All it needs is a signature." " Come on." " What exactly does this letter say?" " I, Eben Prydderch..." " Dr Eben Prydderch." "I, Eben Prydderch, confess to killing Elena Wdig one of our greatest writers." "To atone for this crime, I plan to take my own life." "I wouldn't kill myself in the National Library, OK?" "That's not how I sign letters." "Doesn't matter." "People act out of character when they're about to die." " It's time." " You're right." "How would I have got hold of a gun?" "Have you thought of that?" "They check things like that." "Who says you're going to shoot yourself?" "WHERE ARE YOU, ANA?" "Get up." " Come on, on the chair." " No." "Do it." "The chair." "Now." "I don't want to see his face." "This won't bring her back." "Please!" "I'll tell you everything, OK?" "Please don't do this." "It's murder." "OK, I'll tell you everything." "Well, well, Glyndwr." "You dirty..." "Come on, Matthews." "Come on." "Don't worry..." "It's nothing to do with you this time." "I'll tell you everything." "Please." "You don't want to do this." "Be rational." "I'll tell you everything." "Please." "Nan?" "Nan?" "Where are you?" "I can't find you, Nan." "Nan, just say something." "Nan?" "Don't leave me, Nan." "Nan?" "Nan?" "Nan?" "Told you that rope wasn't strong enough." "I felt something coming towards me." "I thought he was..." "I shot him, didn't I?" "I've messed it all up." "You and me against the world, John." " Where's the bag?" " Don't know." "I need that bag, Ana." "Here it is." "Come on." "Eben won't get far." "Let's split up." "Check the film archive." " I'm not sure, Nan." " Go." "Eben." "What have you done?" "We have to kill Eben." "That's why we're here." "Come on, Ana." "Leave him." "What are you doing?" "He was never meant to be part of this." "It'll be easier if I do it all." "Nan!" "Nan!" "Nan!" "Nan!" "Want to tell me what the hell's going on?" "I thought you were dead." "If you want to get out of something alive, better play dead." "The blood." "Slipping on the blood saved me." "Silly cow didn't even hit me." "Look." "Eben." "I shot him." "You've really stuffed things up for me." "None of this is your fault." "I only had six months probation left." "You do realise that?" "Six months." "He killed Mam." "He hasn't got it in him." "He won't admit it, but we know it was him." "She told us." "Didn't she kill herself?" "You're not meant to do that." "Health and Safety!" "Really?" "Don't laugh at me." "That's Mam's stuff!" "I'm not too keen on being locked up." "Bet you've read them all." "Mam told us not to read them." "I'm sure you want to know." "Not without Nan." "Come on, pick a year." "Suit yourself, then." "I'll read them myself." "It'll pass the time, won't it?" "You'd like this." "Really." " It's about you." " Which year?" "Summer '94." "That holiday in Llansteffan." "Yes." "Read some of it." ""My first real holiday with the girls." ""My darlings running back and forth to the waves like eager mermaids."" "Want me to carry on?" ""I chose this life." "I chose to be their mother." ""I created them on my own so I could give them all my love."" "How do you create a baby on your own?" "By going to a clinic." "She didn't want a man as part of her life, she just wanted a baby." "Read something else... please." "2012?" ""I see my creativity in Ana." ""It's brimming under the surface." ""Nan was born to be an archivist." ""Ana was born to create."" "She thought I was wasting my life here." "We all are." "This place is important." "If no-one did the work we did..." "No-one'd notice." "You lose your memory, you lose everything." "That's what Mam always said." "You don't have to save anyone." "You could do something else." "It's up to you." "There's a page missing here." "This made me cry." "What did you think of it?" "Young lad comes out of prison, tries to rebuild his life." "I've heard that one before." "Do you think it's about you?" "Did you mention me at all?" "No skin off my nose." "I liked him." "The character." "He was a better version of me." "He was a good person, deep down." "I wrote that novel." "She told us at the end." "She said your name." "She wanted us to know it was you." "Please just let me go, Nan." "What did she say to make you so angry, Eben?" "Why did you kill her?" ""I went to the clinic for my treatment." ""Nothing to do now but wait to see if it will take." ""Wait to see whether being a mother will be part of my life story."" "Why do you have this?" "Because..." "Because if I'm going to write her biography I want to tell the truth." "It's a lie." "There was no clinic." "That day she was with me." "People liked this book because Elena wrote it." "She never would have been able to write another book." "The doctor said she had early-onset dementia." "It'd be a while before it would get really bad but you can't write if you forget where your story's going." "You just can't." "There was a novel on my desk." "Something I'd been working on for months." "When she walked towards me, holding it in her hand I half hoped she'd tell me what a talent I had." "But do you know what she said?" "She said  "When did I write this, Ana?"" ""I can publish this," she said." ""My final novel."" "I couldn't tell her the truth after that." "How could I do that to my own mother?" "Because you loved her." "I fooled her, Dan." "There's no-one quite like you, you know." "Keep going." "Keep going." "He's still breathing." "We need to get him out of here." "You really don't want him to die, OK." "Put him down." "I'm not afraid of you." " Move." " Let them go, please, Nan." "It's time to move on, isn't it?" "Do what we said we'd do." "We need to leave someone behind, don't we?" "We need to leave someone behind, don't we?" "Who will tell them why we killed Eben?" "He'll tell the world how much we loved Mam." "Won't you?" "Tell them yourself." "Eben's going to die." "We did it." "It's over." "It's all over." "You go." "I'll be OK." "Thanks." "I'll take him, but I'll come back." "OK?" "You're bleeding." "You shot me." "At least we know you can." "Are you ready?" "We said there'd be no turning back if things went wrong." "We said there'd be no turning back if things went wrong." "Look at the state of you." "What's that?" "Eben ripped it out of her diary." "Why?" " Give it back." " Why did he rip it out?" "He said that it wasn't true." "...that it wasn't true." "That he was..." "Hey." "Hey!" "Come on, no sleeping now, doc!" "Tell me a story or something to keep you going." "I had to help her, you know." "I had to help her, you know." "I had to." "You have to help me." "I don't recognise my own work." "That last novel?" "I don't even remember writing it." "I don't even remember writing it." "What will I forget next?" "Don't let me turn back." "Whatever I say." "What are you doing?" "This is where it starts." "Where no-one's to blame." "She wanted to control everything, even her own death." "But things aren't that simple." "But things aren't that simple." "Thank you, Eben." "Why didn't you stop her?" "Maybe because for once, I felt like I was part of her life." "...for once, I felt like I was part of her life." "What am I doing?" "Let me in!" "Let me in!" "Who are you?" "Let me in!" "Let me in!" "Let me in!" "I was one of your students." "You always said I was very promising." "I adored you." "Hung on every word you said." "I'd never met anyone quite like you." "And then, one night, you turned up at my flat." ""Why don't we go to Ynyslas to see the sunset?" That's what you said." ""Why don't we go to Ynyslas to see the sunset?" That's what you said." "Like it was the most natural thing in the world." "It was so hot that night but all the way there, I was shivering." "...but all the way there, I was shivering." "You were desperate for a child." "I didn't realise it at the time." "You didn't want me to have anything to do with them." "It was your story." "It was your story." "Your children." "He's off his head." "She used to tell us that story over and over." "How she'd gone to the clinic that day because she wanted us so badly." "How she'd gone to the clinic that day because she wanted us so badly." "Then she'd hold us tightly and tell us what miracles we were." "How she'd created us on her own." "How she'd created us on her own." "That she was a mother and father to us." "Do you remember how the story varied?" "Sometimes she'd recall how she was wearing a red dress because she felt so bold." "...because she felt so bold." "Other times, she'd say it was a black dress like she was going to a funeral." "Stories change over time." "That's what happens." "Why didn't you tell them?" "I don't know why she wanted to see me that day." "I hoped she'd decided to tell them about me, but she hadn't." "She never wanted them to know." "I'd remember something like that." "Who are you?" "I'd remember something like that." "Who are you?" "Why are you telling me this?" "You can't do this to me." "I'm a mother." "I have two little girls." "I'm the only thing they..." "Why didn't you save her?" "Why didn't you save her?" "I did save her." "I saved her by letting her die." "Of course." "Of course." "Eben." "It was Eben." "He loved me." "I chose him." "Ana and Nan." "Ana and Nan." "Perfect names for twins." "." "Mam!" ".Mam?" "Mam?" "Mam?" "Mam?" "Eben." "Eben." "Eben." "It was Eben." "What if we don't know the full story?" "What's the truth?" "You tell me." "You and Dan?" "You're just like her - you always have been." "You and your stories." "Always pretending to be someone else." "And what about me?" "I could never be what she wanted me to be." "I just put things away after you." "Put your dressing-up clothes back in the chest put her diaries back on the shelf." "Made sure nothing went missing." "You and her." "You'll be together forever in that novel." "Her name on the cover and your words inside." "But I edited it." "I sent it to the publisher." "I kept the secret." "But nobody sees me." "Nobody ever sees me." "You don't need me any more." "That's the truth." "Nan!" "Come on, please, Nan." " I can't." " I'm going to find help." "Someone asked me today what my children were called." "I couldn't remember." "What if some day I forget them completely?" "Forget I'm their mother?" "That would be worse than death." "Who are we, if not a reflection of those we love?" "Without them, we're nothing." "A nobody." "Nan needs help!" "When they come, I'll say I shot myself." "That's the story." "Nan?" "Nan!" "Nan!" "Nan!" "You'd think it was just like any other institution." "But this place houses the stories of our lives." "Not only who we were but who we thought we were." "Who we imagined we were." "No-one wants to be forgotten." "Mam wanted to leave someone behind to recount the story." "To keep her story alive." "Someone to mourn her." "To scatter her ashes." "Someone like me." "I'll recount this story my own way." "Change the narrative." "Remember things differently." "There are two sides to every story." "Sometimes, we are more than one person." "The copy and the original." "The good and the bad." "Ana and Nan." "Nan, my best creation." "My grief at its worst." "After all, every history is a fiction." "Our stories are the truth." "THE LIBRARY SUICIDES by ANA WDIG" "In memory of Elena Wdig, author, historian and mother."