"Friends, family, we're gathered to celebrate the joyous union of Ross and Emily." "Now, Ross, repeat after me." ""I, Ross."" "I, Ross." ""Take thee, Emily."" "Take thee, Rachel." "Shall I go on?" "He said, "Rachel," right?" "Do you think I should go up there?" "Yes." "Yes." "Do go on." "I think we'd better start again." "Repeat after me." ""I, Ross."" "I, Ross." ""Take thee, Emily."" "Take thee, Emily." "Like there'd be anybody else." ""As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health till death parts us."" "As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health until death parts us." "Really, I do." "Emily." "Do you have the rings?" "Place this ring on Ross' finger as a symbol of your bond everlasting." "Ross, place this ring on Emily's hand as a symbol of the love that encircles you forever." "Happy to." "They have made their declarations and it gives me great pleasure to declare them husband and wife." "You may kiss the bride." "This is worse than when he married the lesbian." "Just keep smiling." "Well, that went well." "It could've been worse." "He could've shot her." "That was pretty funny, wasn't it?" "The One After Ross Says "Rachel"" "You spoiled everything!" "It's a nightmare!" "My friends and family are out there!" "How can I face them?" "No matter what happens with them we still get cake, right?" "That's all right." "You take your time." "I'll be right out here." "She's just fixing her makeup." "I hate you!" "And I love you!" "A bad time to say the wrong name, huh?" "That's true." "Thanks, Dad." "People should be dancing." "This is a party!" "Come on!" "Joey!" "Dance!" "Yes, Waltham Interiors." "This is Ross Geller's personal physician, Dr. Filangie." "Who?" "I discovered that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine." "Without it, in the brain of Ross women's names are interchangeable." "Through no fault of his own." "Oh, my God!" "Phoebe." "No, not Phoebe." "Dr. Filangie." "Oh, no!" "You have it too!" "What kind of bitch hangs up on a doctor?" "I hope you don't take this the wrong way but I know we had plans to meet up tonight." "I'm worried about what it might do to our friendship." "I know." " How could we have let this happen?" " Seven times!" "You know, look." "We were away." "In a foreign, romantic country." "I blame London." "Bad London!" "So look while we're still in London, we can keep doing it, right?" "Well, I don't see that we have a choice." "But when we're back home, we don't do it." "Only here." "You know, I saw a wine cellar downstairs." "I'll meet you there in two minutes." "Mon?" "I gotta ask you something." "Now?" "Ross said my name." "I can't just pretend it didn't happen." "I don't know." "Monica, what should I do?" "Just do the right thing." "What?" "Tow the line!" "Thread the needle!" "Think outside the box!" "I'll talk to Ross about what he thinks it meant." "Wait!" "Rachel, no." "He's married." "Married." "If you don't realize that, I can't help you." "Okay." "You're right." "You're right." "You can't help me." "Jack, is it all our fault?" "Were we bad parents?" "Who serves steak when there's no place to sit?" "How are you supposed to eat this?" "Hey, what's up?" "You and me, next dance?" "Sorry, dear, I only dance when I'm drunk." "Want me to get you something?" "We were supposed to meet." " Forget it." "That's off." " Why?" "The next tour of the wine cellar will commence in two minutes." "Joey, what are you doing?" "You promised, no meat till Phoebe has the babies." "We're in another country, so it doesn't count." " True." " He's got a point." "I'm sorry things aren't working out." "It could be better." "It'll be okay, right?" "Oh, yeah!" "Of course." "She'll get over this." "So you said my name." "You just said it because you saw me there." "If you'd seen a circus freak, you would've said:" ""I take thee, Circus Freak."" "It didn't mean anything." "It's a mistake." "It didn't mean anything." "Right?" "Oh, no!" "Of course it didn't mean anything." "I can understand why Emily thought it meant something because it was you." "But it absolutely didn't." "It didn't!" "It didn't!" "The band's ready for your first dance with Emily." "Oh!" "The band's ready!" "We've got to do what the band says." "I don't care about the stupid band!" "You spit on me, man!" "I'm sorry." "Emily is taking kind of a long time." "When I locked myself up at my wedding I was trying to pop the window out of the frame." "Get the hell out of there." "You know?" "I'm coming in!" "Oh, look at that." "Same thing." "In the middle of everything, if I scream, "Yippee!" just ignore me." " Oh, my God!" "Rachel!" " Oh, hello, Rachel." "Ross said my name." "Okay?" "My name!" "Ross said my name up there." "That obviously means he still loves me!" "Don't believe me." "I know I'm right." "Do you guys want to go and get a drink?" "Yes, we do." "But we have to change first." "Yes, I want to change." " Go get a table." " We'll only be five minutes." "Fifteen minutes." "Oh, Pheebs!" "It's Phoebe!" " Oh, hey, hey." " Oh, great." "So, what happened?" "Well, Ross said my name." "But I don't think that means anything." "Let's look at this objectively." "Ninth grade, right?" "The obsession starts." "Then he sees me in a two-piece for the first time." "His obsession begins to grow, right?" "Why don't we go change in my room?" "My clothes are..." "Wow, you look..." "No time for that." "Hey, dude!" "Let me in!" "I got a girl out here!" "I got a girl in here!" "No, you don't." "I saw you go in with Monica." "Well, we're hanging out." "Which one of us will be having sex in there?" "Me or you?" "I suppose I would have to say you." " What if we're watching a movie?" " Which we are!" "And we've paid for it." "It's My Giant." "My Giant?" "I love that movie!" "Think this is okay?" "Well, Ross and Emily aren't going to use it." "Oh, it's so beautiful!" "I don't feel right about this." "This is the honeymoon suite." "The room expects sex." "The room would be disappointed if it didn't get sex." "All the other honeymoon suites would think it was a loser." "Nope!" "Not under here!" " You didn't find her?" " I've looked everywhere." "You couldn't have, or you would've found her." " Keep looking!" " Yeah!" "For about 30 minutes?" "Or 45?" "In 45 minutes, you could find her twice." "For all I know, she's trying to find me but couldn't, because I kept moving." "From now on, I'm staying in one place." "Right here." " It's getting late." " We're going to go." "Do you guys mind staying here for a while?" "We've got to get up early and catch that plane." "Yeah, it's a very large plane." "That's cool." "But we'll stay here with you." "Thanks, guys!" "I really appreciate this, but you don't need to rub my butt." "We have to leave in an hour." "I know." "I've been looking at those doors." "They look pretty soundproof, don't you think?" "We can't do that." "That's insane." "I mean, A, he could wake up." "And B, you know let's go for it." "Nope." " She's not with us." " We've come for her things." "Where is she?" "She's in hiding." "She's humiliated." "She doesn't want to see you again." "We're very sad that it didn't work out between you and Emily, monkey." "But I think you're absolutely delicious!" "Excuse me, I'm standing right here." "Oh, yes." "There you are." "Hurry up!" "Get some!" "There's a whole cart outside." "Goodbye, Geller." "Now, hold on." "Hold on." "Your daughter and I are supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon." "Tell her I'll be at that airport, and I hope she will too." "I said Rachel's name, but it didn't mean anything." "She's just a friend." "Tell Emily I love her and I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else." "Please, promise me that you'll tell her that." "All right, I'll tell her." "Come on, bugger face!" "Call me." "You spend your life in the bathroom." "Why do you never go out the window?" "Maybe it's best we never got to do it again." "Yeah, it kind of makes that one night special." "Technically, we still are over international waters." "I'm going to the bathroom." "Maybe I'll see you there?" "Can I ask you something?" "Felicity and I watched My Giant." "And I thought:" ""I'll never be as good an actor as that giant."" "Do you think I'm wasting my life with this acting thing?" "The giant's five years younger than me." "You think I'll ever get there?" " Thanks, man." " Okay, man." "But what about how much taller he is than me?" "I mean, there's no way I can make myself taller now." "Who knows what science will come up with in the future but what if I die an unsuccessful, regular-size man?" "You've been in the bathroom for a half-hour." "I know!" "Had the beef tips, huh?" "You ate meat!" "You had sex!" "No, we didn't." "I know you didn't." "I was talking about Monica." "I did not have sex." "This pregnancy is throwing me all off and making me fat." " I'll say hi to the chick and duck." " Me too!" "Why would you need to?" "You've been feeding them." "Oh, right." "Maybe I'll just go home." "We certainly are alone." "Good thing we have that "not New York" rule." "Listen, since we're on that subject I just wanted to tell you that..." "I was going through a hard time in London with my brother getting married and that guy thinking I was Ross' mother." "Well, anyway, I just..." "That night meant a lot to me." "And I'm trying to say thanks." "You know, that night meant a lot to me too." "It wasn't because I was in a bad place or anything." "It just meant a lot because you're really hot." "Is that okay?" "That's okay." "And I'm cute too?" "And you're cute too!" "Thank you." "All right, I gotta go unpack." "I'm still on London time." "Does that count?" " Oh, that counts!" " Oh, good!" "What are you doing here?" "I've been on standby for a flight home for hours." "So no sign of Emily?" "Not yet." "When do you have to leave?" "This is the last call for flight 1066 to Athens." "The last call." "Pretty soon, I guess." "I'm sorry." "I don't understand." "How could she do this?" "Am I a complete idiot for thinking she'd actually show up?" "You're not an idiot, Ross." "You're a guy very much in love." "Same difference." "All passengers for flight 1066 to Athens should now be onboard." "I get it!" "Well, that's that." "No, you know what?" "I think you should go. ...by yourself." "Get some distance." "Clear your head." "It would be really good." "I don't know." "Come on." "It would be really good for you." "I could do that." "I can't even believe her." "You know what?" "I am going to go." " Good." " Why not?" " Right?" " Right." "Thanks." "I'll see you back at home." "If I ever get a flight out of here." "What?" "Wait, what?" "Why don't you come?" "I mean, I have two tickets." "Why not?" "Well, I don't know, Ross." "Really?" "Yeah." "It'd be great." "I mean, you can..." "You can lay on the beach and I can cry over my failed marriage." "You see how I make jokes?" "Really." "I mean..." "I could use a friend." "Oh, wow." "Maybe." "Yes, I can do that!" " Cool." " All right, cool." "Okay, we're going to Greece." "I forgot my jacket!" "Well, you tell them to wait." "Wait!" "Wait!" "I'll have a glass of Merlot and he'll have a wine spritzer." "Look!" "The airport's moving." "Are we moving?" "Are we?" "Why are we moving?" "Does the captain know that we're moving?" "Oh, my gosh!" "robinson_crusoe" "You look cute in bubbles." "You're just all liquored up." "Hey, it's me." "I'm coming in." "I've had a very long, hard day." " You're home early." " Yeah, my date threw up." "Want some chicken?" "No, thanks." "No chicken." "Bye-bye." "You sure?" "Some extra-crispy, dirty rice?" "For the last time, no!" "Get out, Joey!" "All right." "Are you okay?" "He wouldn't leave." "He kept asking me if I wanted chicken." "Chicken?" "I could eat some chicken." "Could I get a three-piece, some coleslaw, some beans and a Coke?" "Diet Coke." "The One With All the Kissing" " Morning, Pheebs." " I have to tell you this story." "I was coming over and this cabdriver..." "Was his name Angus?" "What?" "He was a cabdriver we had in London." "All right." "Anyway..." "What was that pub he took us to?" "The Wheat Sheaf!" "And they had that beer..." "Boddington's!" "Pheebs was going to tell a story." "So he had a really funny hat." "I don't want to talk about it." " Hey." " Hey, Ross!" "Boddington's!" "Oh, man!" "I'd walk back to London for another frosty one of those bad boys." "They have them at the British pub by the Trade Center." "Later!" "Shouldn't Rachel be back?" "Her plane got delayed." "But she should be here by now." "So you talked to her?" "Did she sound mad?" "No." "But she likes me." "You abandoned her on a plane to Greece." "I did not "abandon" Rachel." "Okay?" "Emily showed up at the airport." "I had to go after her." "I did what I had to do." "She's my wife." "Rachel is my wife." "Emily!" "Emily is my wife." "Man, what is that?" "You haven't heard from Emily?" "Not since I lost her at the airport." "I can't believe she can outrun you." "Hey!" "She's fast, okay?" "You think you can beat me?" "Let's go!" "Outside!" " I'm sorry." "I'm just a little..." " Slow?" "Oh, you want some?" "!" "Okay, get the shoes on!" "Let's go, man!" "It's cool, okay?" "You're the fastest!" " Hi!" " Oh, my God, Rachel!" "Rach, I am so sorry." "I am so, so sorry." "Come on." "You just did what you had to do." "That's it?" "You're not mad?" "It must've been terrible." "Terrible?" "Hell, I was in Greece!" "There was a nice hotel, nice beach, met the nice people." "It's not too shabby for Rachel." "So, what, that's it?" "We're cool." "Totally cool." "Thanks, Rach." "You're the best." "Oh, no." "You're the best." "Oh, I got to go to the flower store." "No one will tell me where Emily is so I'm sending 72 long-stemmed, red roses to her parents' house." "One for each day I've known and loved her." "That should get her talking." "When you make out the card, be sure to make it out to "Emily."" "It's good that you had such a good time in Greece." "What?" "I didn't have a good time in Greece!" "Ross abandoned me!" "I couldn't get a plane out." "I had to stay in their suite!" "People came up to me going, "Mrs. Geller!" "Why are you cry?"" "I mean, it was so humiliating!" "I felt like such an idiot!" "It's all my fault." "You know why?" "Because I make very bad decisions." "Oh, that's not true." "Yes, it is true." "I went after Ross in stupid London!" "London is stupid!" "Stupid!" "I put on a cheerleading outfit to seduce Joshua." "Then I lost him because I asked him to marry me after four dates." "And then I went to Greece on somebody else's honeymoon." "Okay?" "Do those sound like very good decisions to you?" "I like your little braid." "I just shouldn't be allowed to make decisions anymore." "Phoebe, you were right." "I should've never gone to London." "From now on, you make all my decisions for me." "Oh, no." "I did that for someone once." "I'm not comfortable having that power over someone's life." "I'll do it." "Fine." "Monica, you are now in charge of my love life." "Okay." "I got to go to work." "And Rachel, great to have you back." "Always a pleasure." "Rachel?" "Sweetie, look." "Here's a cute picture of you and Joey." "He's married." "Ross is married." "I still can't believe it." "Honey, sweetie, by the edges." "I'll just have to accept it." "I mean, it's my fault." "Edges!" "Fingers!" "Smudgy!" "Oh, my God!" "That's okay." "I know that you're very upset right now." "I know that wasn't about me." "I bet it was about her a little." "If you'd stop thinking about Ross you'd notice there are great guys everywhere." "Look." "Gunther." "He's nice." "He's cute." "Yeah." "I guess Gunther is..." "What about that guy over there?" "That's the guy you flirted with at the counter." " Oh, I don't know." "I don't know." " You're going to talk to him." "I make your decisions, and I say you're going to talk to him." "All right." "You're the boss." "I got to do what you tell me." "Say that to him, and you're golden." "Hey, Pheebs." "We got our pictures back from London." "Here's all of us at the Tower of London..." "Here we all are." "There's Ross and Joey and you and..." "And me." "We've been talking about London too much." "Sorry, it's just because I couldn't be there." "All I get to do now is pregnant stuff." "It bums me out." " I'm sorry." " Sorry." "Know what I like to do?" "It sounds a little corny but sometimes when I'm bummed out, I like to just close my eyes and think about what a wonderful gift life is." "See?" " What happened?" " A little of this, a little of that." "I got myself a date tomorrow." "See?" "Didn't I tell you?" "You're getting over Ross already." "Get out." "What took so long?" "I got caught up at work." "But I'm quitting tomorrow." "So thanks for having me over." "See you, man." "What the hell was that?" "Probably some European goodbye thing he picked up in London." "That's not European." "It felt French." "Well, I guess it's time for me to say goodbye too, mon frère." "Come here and give me a little sugar." "I really had a good time." "Yeah, me too." "I guess this is it." "Unless you want to come inside?" "Wait a minute." "You know what?" "I can't decide this." "Okay." "Just hold on a second." "Where's Monica?" "I have to ask her something." "Doing her laundry." "What's that?" "It came in the mail today." "It's 72 long-stemmed red roses." "One for each day I've known and loved Emily cut up into mulch." "Honey, that's awful." "It's not so bad." "Monica's going to make potpourri." "I think I'm going to go wander out in the rain for a while." "It's not raining." "I can't catch a break!" "You're not going anywhere." "Sit right here." "I'll make you some tea and we'll talk this out." "All right?" "Hey, Dave." "I need to take a rain check." "My roommate is really sick." "Okay." "Bye!" "Honey, listen." "I know things seem so bad and that they won't get any..." "Could I talk to you?" "I dropped some socks." "What is the matter with you?" "Do you want to fall into the trap?" "You did not drop any socks!" "I saw Dave, and he said you blew him off!" "You listen to me!" "I'm calling the shots!" "I say you leave Ross and go get Dave." "What are you doing?" "Well, ultimately I was trying, you know, I wanted to tell him that I'm still in love with him." "What?" "You cannot tell him that!" "Why?" "Why not?" "People love to hear that!" "Come on, I love you." " Wasn't that nice?" " No." "I make the decisions and I say no!" "You know what?" "No, you don't make my decisions, because you're fired." "You can't fire me." "I make your decisions, and I say I'm not fired!" "Ha!" "Well..." "Come on, let me in!" "Having some trouble?" "Rachel locked the door." "I'll kick that door in if you give me some sugar." "Ross, there's something I wanna talk to you about." " I just need to..." " Rachel, open this door!" " What, is it locked?" " She's fine." "Listen..." "Rachel, I can do this all night if I have to!" " You want me to get that?" " No." "Just let her do her thing and we'll do our thing." "Because I really need to tell you..." "Thank you." "Rachel?" "Can I talk to you outside for a sec?" "We really need to talk." "Well, then talk." "Okay, I will." "Remember that thing we just discussed that you wanted to do?" "What thing?" "Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons." "Which I think is a really stupid idea." "It's dangerous." "She won't get what she wants." "And who knows who she might end up hurting?" "Monica's right." "Swing dancing can be tricky." "I have to use the phone." "I gotta cancel those five giant teddy bears I sent to Emily." "My God!" "Think of the massacre." "I'm going to do it." "I know you think I'm crazy." "But before you tell him, try to find one person who thinks it's a good idea." "I bet you can't." "Please?" "All right." "Fine." "Joey!" "I'm in!" "All right." "Good deal." " Hi." " Hey, Rach." " Did you find anyone who agrees with you?" " No." "But you know what?" "I think I need a male point of view." "Joey." " You're a man." " You got that right." "Do you think it would be a good idea if I told Ross that I was still in love with him?" "Nope." " Pheebs!" " Hey, Pheebs." " Pheebs?" " Yeah." "You know how you were saying you didn't get to go to London and you were feeling left out?" "Well, we all felt really bad about that so we decided to take a little trip together!" "Oh, that's so nice!" "How great!" "Where's the trip?" "Well, we thought we would all go to a picnic in Central Park!" "Central Park?" "All of us." "All day." "That sucks!" "That's not a trip!" "I just came from there." "What'll we high-five about at the stupid park?" "It's right by my house." "All right!" "I'm going home to bask in the triumph of my Central Park idea." "Hold on a sec there, Mr. Kissy." "I wanted to talk to you about this whole new European thing you've got going on." "And I need to say it makes me very uncomfortable and I just, you know, just stop it!" "Just bringing some culture to the group." "That's fine." "Just don't bring it in my mouth." "It makes me want to puke." "Hey, everybody!" "Pheebs is here!" " Phoebe!" "Woo!" " Okay." "Woo!" "Hi!" "Pheebs, we decided that the picnic idea was a little..." "It didn't have any..." "Well, it blew." "We thought that this afternoon we'd all go away for the whole weekend to Atlantic City." "Atlantic City!" "Oh, that's a great plan!" "Whose plan was that?" "Mine!" " Wait." "It was my plan." " No I said we needed a new plan." "And I came up with Atlantic City." "Which is the new plan." "Why don't we all meet upstairs in an hour." "I'm going to go pack." "I'm going to go pack my ass off." "Well, I think I'm gonna grab some coffee because my ass is already packed." "Let's go." "You know what?" "I'll meet you in a minute." "Rachel, you didn't find anyone, so you can't tell him." "You know what?" "That doesn't matter." "Do you know how painful it is to tell someone you love them and not have them say it back?" "I don't care." "I can't watch." "What you reading?" "Paper." "Yeah?" "What's it about?" "Events from around the globe." "There's something I have to talk to you about." "Everyone's saying I shouldn't." "But I think they're wrong." "People can be wrong." "Once at work I thought carbon dating is fossilized..." "I'm really trying to tell you something here." "Go ahead." "I think I'm just going to say it." "I'm just going to say it." "I'm still in love with you, Ross." "I'm not sure what to do with that right now." "What?" "Was that a joke?" "Because it's mean." "I'm so dead serious!" "I'm totally serious!" "Why are you laughing?" "Because I just heard it!" "I heard it." "And it's ridiculous!" "I mean..." "You're married!" "You're married, and it's just ridiculous!" "When I said it, I sort of floated up out of my body." "And then I heard myself say it, and then the floating Rachel..." "I was like, "You are such an idiot!"" " Well, I am married." " I know." "Though I haven't spoken to her since the wedding." "I'm sorry." "That's not funny." "Actually, it kind of is." "My wife won't return my calls." "I don't know where my wife is." ""Hey, Ross!" "Where's the missus?" "Don't know!"" "Oh, God!" "You know what?" "Could you forget I told you this?" "Well, I kind of have to." "Because the thing is..." "The thing is, you know, that you're married to Emily." "That is what the thing is." "Oh, God." "Things won't be weird between us, right?" "Was that stupid?" "Me telling you that?" "I'm glad you did." "If nothing else it's always great when someone tells you they love you." "That's what I said!" " Thank you for being so nice." " No." "Thank you for..." "Thank you." "Oh, God." "I'm just glad I didn't give you the cassette I made of all of our songs." " What songs?" " Oh, you know:" " "With or Without You."" " Oh, yeah." " "Everybody Hurts."" " Oh, yeah." " "Rhiannon."" " Why "Rhiannon"?" "Come on, you remember!" "In the living room?" "On Monica's laundry?" "Not me." "Really." "So, what happened?" "Well, it was really hard but I'm glad I did it." "So was I right or wrong?" " Oh, come on, honey, does it really matter?" " No." "Yes." "I need it for my score book." "Diary." " Okay, let's go!" " Yeah, Atlantic City!" "Come on!" "Atlantic City, baby!" "Let's roll some bones." "Hey, Joey!" "High-five for rolling bones." "Pheebs, you're leaking." "Oh, my God!" "Your water broke!" "Oh, okay." "Well, don't worry." "I call shotgun." "Pheebs, we have to take you to the hospital now." "Okay." "Well, there's probably one on the way to Atlantic City." "Pheebs, the babies are coming now." "Honey!" "High-five!" "The babies are coming!" "Remember when my water broke?" "I can't believe Phoebe's going to have her babies!" "I know." "It's beautiful and amazing." "I can't believe I had to kiss Phoebe and Rachel every time I left the room." "It's too bad they didn't see us having sex." "Do you know anything about women?" " It's all right." " Okay." "robinson_crusoe" "I'm Phoebe Buffay, and I have babies coming out." "Have you started having contractions?" "Not yet." "I heard they really hurt." "Do they?" "Oh, my God!" "Which of you is the father?" "None of them are." "The father is my brother." "I'll miss watching you freak people out like that." "This is for the babies to look at someday." "Do you want to say anything before it starts?" "Hi, kids!" "It's me, Aunt Phoebe." "Can't wait to see you." "Please don't hurt me!" "What took you so long?" "Your cab left when ours did." "We went back because I forgot my jacket." "You're not wearing one." "Oh, man!" "I did it again!" "Someone has to call Frank and Alice." "My mom might..." "What are you doing?" "I've got to get the "before" shot!" "The One Hundredth" "We spoke to the nurse." "The reason your doctor is late is because she's not coming." "She hit her head in the shower." "Oh, my God." "She's so stupid!" "Pheebs, it's gonna be okay." "I don't see three kids coming out of your vagina!" "Listen." "The nurse said the doctor is wonderful." "He's head of the department." "All right." "Oh, dear God, save me!" "I'm having my first contraction!" "Oh, it's not bad." "And so the miracle of birth begins." "And I..." "You okay?" "Something hurts." "It's sympathy pains." "That's so sweet!" "I didn't know I cared that much." "I'm Dr. Harad." "I'll be delivering your babies." "You'll be in good hands." "I've been doing this a long time." "I'll be back to do your internal." "Just relax, everything looks great." "And also, I love Fonzie." "Did he just say he loves Fonzie?" "That's what it sounded like." "All right." "Am I late?" "Nobody came out yet, right?" "No, we haven't started yet." "Where's Alice?" "Delaware." "Until she gets here, I'll be your coach." "Don't worry." "She told me about the LaMazda stuff." "If you get the babies out by month's end you get two percent financing." "Monica, you're gonna be very proud of me." "I just got us dates with two unbelievably cute nurses." "Oh, my!" "They're male nurses." "Not in my head." "They want to take us out Saturday night!" "What do you say?" "I don't think so." "What are you talking about?" "You've been telling me to get over Ross and move on." "I'm moving on and so are you." "Why don't you want to go?" "Why don't you give me a good reason and I'll tell you if it's true." " What?" " Harder than it sounds, isn't it?" "You're coming." "And when they get off we'll go get some Jello with them." "There's always room for Jello." "How do you make that dirty?" "It's easy." "I can do it with anything." "Grandma's chicken salad..." "Get a shot of this." "These are the headlines when you were born." "Now, girl baby, turn away." "And boy babies check it out!" "This is what naked women looked like when you were born." "Now let's dive into the good stuff." "Okay, I'm having another one!" "This one doesn't hurt eith..." "Yes, it does!" "I was kind of hoping that was it." "Where are Monica and Rachel, anyway?" "A couple of nurses asked them out." "Really?" "Male nurses?" "Yeah, I was bummed too." "So they're going on dates." " When?" " I think Saturday." " What's with him?" " Sympathy pains." "It was sweet at first, but now I think he's trying to steal my thunder." "Let's see what we got here." "Oh, you know, Fonzie dated triplets." "This Fonzie person you keep referring to is that another doctor?" "Oh, no, no." "Fonzie is the nickname of Arthur Fonzerelli." "The Fonz." "All right." "It's not that weird, is it?" "It's very weird!" "I don't want some guy down there telling me I'm "dilated-a-mundo."" "He doesn't seem to be impersonating Fonzie..." "What are you doing?" "Why are you defending him?" "Just get me another doctor who isn't crazy and doesn't Fonzie!" "Again, it's not..." "Hey, there you are!" "There's something you should know." "Is this about you dating the nurse?" "Joey told me." "I am so fine." "You and I, we're just nothing." "Just goofing around." "I was about to tell you I was getting out of it." "But if we're just "goofing around," maybe I will go out with him." "Fine." "Maybe I will too." "Hey!" "Look what I found in the gift shop." "Get up!" "Get up!" "Get up!" "This is Dr. Oberman." "He has no strong feelings about Fonzie or any of the Happy Days gang." "You're going into what grade?" "I'm actually a first-year resident." "I graduated early." "Me too." "I should have specified I'd need a grown-up doctor." "Really, I'm fully qualified..." "Doogie!" "Doesn't anybody understand that I'm going to be having babies soon?" "Go, little boy!" "Go!" "Oh, cool." "You made him cry!" "Mr. Tribbiani, I'm afraid you've got kidney stones." "Well, what else could it be?" "It's kidney stones." "Or..." "Kidney stones." " Lf it was something else?" " Well, that would be "kidney stones."" "You're getting there." "These babies are very, very lucky." "They are?" "Why?" "They'll be born on the Fonz's half-birthday." "Happy Birthday." "Just to clarify I'm not Fonzie." "It's a terrific thing that you're having these babies for Frank and Alice." "No, it is." "Can I tell you a secret?" "I want to keep one." "Oh, I'm gonna be on the news." "You must be kidding." "You know you can't keep one of these babies." "Maybe I can." "You don't know." "I do." "Frank and Alice will want to keep all their children." "Maybe not." "You know?" "Three babies are a handful." "Maybe they'll want to unload one." "I hate to miss an opportunity because I didn't ask." "Phoebe, no." "This is insane." "Just ask him." "What?" "Me?" "I can't ask him!" "Do you know how inappropriate that would be?" "All I'm saying is, just talk to Frank." "Just feel him out." "No." "I will not ask Frank to give you one of his kids." "You're right." "Tell him it's for you." "Feeling better, sweetie?" "Maybe a little." "Wish you hadn't seen me throw up." "Me too." "I just heard." "What's up?" "Kidney stones!" "Ordinarily, we try to break the stones up with shock waves." "But they're too close to the bladder." "Either we wait for you to pass them or else go up the urethra..." "No, no, no, no." "Nothing is going up, okay?" "Up is not an option." "What's a urethra?" "Are you crazy?" "Did you ask him?" "No, I haven't had a chance yet." "I'm kind of on a clock here." "Oh, Fonzie." "You know who I always liked?" "Mork." "Undo it." "Undo it." "Fonzie met Mork." "Mork froze Fonzie." "But Fonzie was already cool." "So he wasn't hurt." "Right?" "Yeah, that's right." "How you doing?" "Okay." "Doctor says any minute now." "You know, Alice is going to be here so soon." "You couldn't just do me a favor and, like, hold them in?" "Sorry, I'm in the middle of the last favor you asked me to do." "This is Dan, one of the guys we're dating on Saturday." "Nice to meet you." "I'm really looking forward to Saturday night." "Really!" "So, Dan nurse, not a doctor, huh?" "Kind of girlie, isn't it?" "That's okay." "I'm doing this to get through medical school." "And it didn't feel "girlie" during the Gulf War." "Sure." "Thanks for doing that for us, by the way." "Why wait till Saturday?" "Are you free tomorrow?" "Sure." "I'll get somebody to cover me." "Great!" "Hey, you and me, Saturday night?" " No." " All right, very good!" "This is a big one." "Get these things out of me!" "Breathe!" "Breathe through the pain." "I want the drugs, Ross!" "I do too!" "I do too!" "Yeah, I love you." "Okay, bye." "That was Alice's mom." "Alice left five hours ago." "She should be here." "She'll make it on time." "So, Frank three babies." "That just seems like a lot, huh?" "Not to me." "Fair enough." "You're at ten centimeters." "Time to start having babies." "I want only the father here." " We love you." " Good luck." "I need a clamp, a sterile towel and Channel 31." "What is that?" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, no, no!" "It's a good one." "Fonzie plays the bongos." "Ready?" "Time to try pushing." "Ready?" "Time to try peeing." "Wait, wait, wait, wait!" "It's almost time to try peeing." "Push." "Concentrate on pushing." "I see the head." "Yes, it has a head!" "Keep pushing." "Come on." "I can't believe somebody's coming out!" "There's somebody coming out of you!" " It's my son!" " All right." "Here's your first baby!" "Yes!" "We got a baby boy!" "Frank Junior, Junior!" "How does he look?" "So gross!" "Okay." "You ready to push again?" "I already had a baby." "Leave me alone!" "Come on, you can do it!" "You can do it!" "Little Leslie's here!" "We got another one!" "Oh, my God!" "I can't believe I have two children." "How scary is that?" "Come on, little Chandler, it's time to be born." "He's coming!" "Yes, he's coming!" "Hey, where's his thing?" "Chandler's a girl!" "Oh, God!" "Kindergarten flashback." "They read the sonogram wrong, because they thought it was a boy." "But Chandler's a girl!" "Okay, keep saying it." " Am I too late?" " No, no." "Everything's okay." "There's 30 fingers and 30 toes." "We have our babies?" "We have our babies." "Oh, my God!" "You did it, man." "Would you like to see them?" "They're so small." " I'll call you tomorrow." " Great." "Are you really going to date that nurse man?" "You and I are just "goofing around."" "I thought, why not "goof around" with him?" "I don't know if you've looked up "goofing around" in the dictionary." "Well, I have and the technical definition is:" "Two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just want to spend more time together." "But if you have this new dictionary that gets you mad at me then we have to get you my original one." "I am so bad at this." " You're better than you think you are." " Really?" "Okay." "So if...?" " Know when to stop." " I sensed that I should stop." "So we're okay?" "I'm gonna go tell Dan that it's not gonna happen." " Don't do the dance." " Right." "You're my favorite." " Which one do you have?" " I don't care." "Frank and Alice want me to tell you they're making phone calls." "Did you talk to them about, you know..." "No, honey." "It was a long shot." "You guys?" "Can I just have a second alone with the babies?" "So here you are." "Seems like yesterday I was talking to you in that petri dish." "Everyone said labor was the hardest thing." "But they were wrong." "This is." "Well, I had the most fun with you guys." "I wish I could take you home and see you every day." "I'll settle for being your favorite aunt." "I know Alice's sister has a pool, but you lived in me." "Okay, so we're cool." "We're gonna be great." "Little high-fives." "Well, if you're going to cry..." "Phoebe, we are so proud of you." "You're amazing!" "I know." "Does it hurt as bad as they say?" "You won't be able to take it." "Now that little Chandler is a girl, what'll they name her?" "They'll call her Chandler." "Kind of a masculine name, don't you think?" "It works on you." "Maybe they can girlie it up a bit, like Chandlerette." "Alice called her Channy-fanny." "Ha-ha, Channy-fanny." "robinson_crusoe" "Come in." "I've been waiting for you." "Hi, I just..." "Oh, my God!" "Monica!" "Oh, my God!" "I'm sorry!" "I was..." "I was taking a nap." "Since when do you take naps in that position?" "Tell me you were waiting for a guy." "Please tell me." "Yes, I was." "A guy." "From work." "I'm seeing a guy from work!" "That cute waiter guy that looks like a nonthreatening Ray Liotta?" "That one!" "Give me a second." "I'm just going to grab a jacket." "When I get back, I want every little detail." "Maybe that's him." "It's just Joey and Ross." "Why aren't you at the movie?" "Ross was so loud, they threw us out." "I had to talk loud because the movie was loud!" " He's talking to London." " Did he get in touch with Emily?" "No, not yet." "He's hoping that someone will help him get in touch with her." "I don't care if I said some other girl's name, you prissy old twit!" "Way to suck up to the family!" "I'm so glad you're all here." "My office finally got wrinkle-free fax paper!" "The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS" "Hi, is this Nanny Hopkins?" "I'm looking for Emily." "Waltham." "Oh, I'm sorry." "Is this 0-1-1-4-4-7-4-2 9- 3-4-7-4-2-6-7?" "Oh, it's "4-3," not 4-2." "Well, which 4-2?" "No, no!" "Vomit tux!" "Don't worry, I had it dry-cleaned." "Vomit tux?" "Who vomited on...?" "You know what?" "What you up to, Joe?" "They're doing this telethon thing on TV." "And my agent got me a job as cohost!" "That's great!" "A little good deed for PBS, plus some TV exposure." "That's the kind of math Joey likes to do." "Oh, PBS!" " What's wrong with PBS?" " What's right with them?" "Why don't you like PBS?" "Right after my Mom killed herself, I was in a bad place, personally." "I thought I'd write to Sesame Street." "Because they were nice when I was a little kid." "No one ever wrote back." "A lot of those muppets don't have thumbs." "All I got was a lousy key chain, and by that time, I was living in a box." "I didn't have keys!" "I'm sorry, Pheebs." "I wanted to do a good deed, like you did with the babies." "This isn't a good deed." "You just want to get on TV." "This is selfish." "What about you having those babies for your brother?" "That's selfish!" "What are you talking about?" "It was a nice thing, but it made you feel good, right?" "Yeah, so?" "It made you feel good so that makes it selfish." "Look, there's no unselfish good deeds." "Sorry." "Yes, there are totally good deeds that are selfless!" "May I ask for one example?" "Yeah, it's..." "You know, there's..." "No, you may not!" "Because all people are selfish." "Are you calling me selfish?" "Are you calling you people?" "Sorry to burst that bubble, Pheebs, but selfless good deeds don't exist." "You know the deal on Santa Claus?" "I'll find a selfless good deed." "I'm going to beat you, you evil genius!" "Oh, my God!" "It's Emily!" "It's Emily, everyone!" "I'm only ringing to say stop harassing my relatives." "Goodbye." "You can hang up, but I'll keep calling everyone in England if that's what it takes to get you to talk to me." "Really?" "About what?" "Look, you're my wife." "We're married." "You know, I love you." "I really miss you." "I miss you too." "At least, I think I do." "She's talking." "When you said "the deal with Santa," you meant...?" "That he doesn't exist." "Right." "Chandler, have you heard about Monica's secret boyfriend?" "Yeah, she might have mentioned him." "So, Mon, when are we going to meet this new, secret waiter man?" "I don't think he's up to meeting everyone yet." "Yeah, I don't think he's up to it." "I want to meet this guy who's the best sex she ever had." "Really?" "That's what you heard?" "You said that?" "I might have." "Why is that funny?" "Because I'm very happy for him." "And you!" "You lucky dog!" "She's willing to work on the relationship." "That's great!" "In London." "She wants me to move to London." "But you live here." "You know that." " What will you do?" " I don't know." " I mean, I can't leave Ben." " You can just video-conference with him." "I'm not ready to have a child." "I bet if I talked to Carol and Susan I could convince them to move to London with Ben." "I'm sure your ex-wife would be more than happy to move so you can patch things up with your new wife." "It could happen." "Ross, we are not moving to London." "We already have lives here." "But it'd be great." "They have great theater great accents." "Tea." "They have a queen." " So?" " She's a woman." " Daddy!" " Hey!" "Guess what?" "We're moving to London!" " Who's going to London?" " Nobody's going to London." "Welcome to London, governor." "Right, right." "It'll be great because we'll have Big Ben and little Ben in the same city." "Go pack!" "See?" "See, he wants to go." "Yeah, we leave all our big decisions to the 3-year-old." "Come on, come on." "It'll be just like Three's Company only there's a kid and my wife and you're the gay ones." "How you doing?" "Welcome." "Good to see you." "This'll be your phone." "That's great." "But I'm not really expecting a lot of calls." "No, you answer it and take pledges." "But I'm the host." "Gary Collins is the host." "You'll be answering the phone." "You don't seem to understand." "I was Dr. Drake Ramoray." "Well, here's your phone, doctor." "I can't believe I can't find a selfless good deed." "You know that old guy that lives next to me?" "I snuck over there and raked up the leaves on his front stoop." "But he caught me, and he force-fed me cider and cookies." "Then I felt wonderful." "That old jackass!" "Maybe Joey's right." "Maybe all good deeds are selfish." "I will find a selfless good deed." "I gave birth to three children and I won't let them be raised in a world where Joey's right!" "Can I ask you a cooking question?" "If you're cooking on the stove that means your new boyfriend is better in bed than Richard?" "Is he?" "I think I'll respect the privacy of my new, secret boyfriend." "Why?" "If this guy was me and it's me who'd learned that it was me who was the best you'd ever had I'd be like this:" "All right, Emily." "As much as I love you I'm sorry, I can't move to London without Ben." "I understand that would be difficult." "Would you consider moving here?" "You were moving here anyway." "Why can't you just do that?" "I don't know." "It's just..." "But I know that even though I've been a complete idiot up till now you have to come here." "You have to, so we can work this out together." "All right." "Did you just say "all right"?" "I did." "Now I'm the idiot." "Emily, that is so great!" "It'll be great!" "We're going to be like two idiots in love!" "There's one thing that really scares me still." " Yes, tell me." " You must understand how humiliating it was for me at the altar in front of my family and friends." "I know." "I am so sorry." "And then, after deciding to forgive you seeing you at the airport, catching our plane with her." "Again, very sorry." "I mean, I can't be in the same room as her." "It drives me mad thinking of you being in the same room as her." "Emily, there is nothing between Rachel and me." "I love you." "All right." "I'll come to New York, and we'll try to make this work." "That's so great!" "As long as you don't see Rachel anymore." "I asked Emily if she would come to New York." "And she said yes." "Great!" "Only if I promise never to see Rachel again." "What?" "You can't..." "What did you say?" "I'd think about it." "How am I supposed to make this decision?" "I'm actually asking you!" "Rachel is one of your best friends." "But Emily's his wife!" "That's true!" "You can't just cut Rachel out of your life!" "That's true!" "Thanks for the help." "Problem solved!" "When will you be on TV?" "There was kind of a mix-up in my agent's office but I'm still on TV, and that's good exposure." "You're not on TV." "How about now?" "There he is!" "Hello, New York!" "Maybe just put the whole duck in there." "Who cares?" "Now I got the legs." "How many times have I told you to never watch the cooking channel?" "I need that broiling pan that Joey borrowed." "That was yours?" "We used it when the duck was throwing up caterpillars." "Williams-Sonoma, fall catalog, page 27." "Expect it in 4 to 6 weeks." "Joey's at the telethon for the rest of the day." "We have the place to ourselves." "Yeah, so?" "Maybe you'd want to book some time with "the best you've ever had."" "You know what, champ?" "I think I'll pass." "Why?" "What's your point?" "With all the stupid gloating, would you want to sleep with you?" "Well, I think I'd be a little out of my league, but I'd give it a shot." "PBS Telethon." "I just wanted to let you know that I found a selfless good deed." "I went down to the park and I let a bee sting me." "What good is that going to do?" "It helps the bee look tough in front of his bee friends." "The bee is happy, and I am definitely not." "You know, the bee probably died after he stung you." "Damn it!" "Back on in 30 seconds, people!" "Excuse me, would you mind switching with me?" "No way." "I'm in the shot, man." " You've been here all day!" " I'm taking pledges." "And we're on three, two..." "Welcome back to our fall telethon." "If you've been enjoying Cirque du Soleil and you'd like to see more, it's very simple." "All you have to do is call in a pledge and tell one of our volunteers what type of programming you..." " Quick broiling pan question..." " Yes, it really does cost that much." "Maybe next time your duck can puke in something from Pottery Barn." "That's it." "I cannot make this decision." "It is too difficult." "I leave it entirely up to the gods of fate." "A Magic 8 Ball?" "You can't make this decision with a toy!" "It's not a toy." "I don't know what else to do!" "I either keep my wife and lose one of my best friends or I get divorced for the second time before I'm 30." "If anyone else has a better suggestion, let's hear it." "Because I got nothing!" "Don't be shy." "Any suggestion will do." "Okay, then." "Here we go." "Magic 8 Ball should I never see Rachel again?" ""Ask Again Later."" "Later is not good enough!" ""Ask Again Later."" "What the hell?" "This is broken!" "It is broken!" "Let me see." "Will Chandler have sex tonight?" ""Don't Count On It."" "Seems like it works to me." "Okay, one more time." "Should I never see Rachel again?" "Magic 8 Ball!" "What did you ask?" "Does Rachel get to pick the movie that we're all going to see tonight?" "Excellent." "What's the answer?" "Looks like Stella's gonna get her groove back tonight!" "What?" "I heard it was good." "PBS Telethon." "Hi, Joey." "Hey, Pheebs." "I'd like to make a pledge." "I would like to donate $200." "Two hundred dollars?" "You sure?" "After what Sesame Street did to you?" "I'm still mad at them, but they bring happiness to lots of kids whose moms didn't kill themselves." "By supporting them, I'm doing a good thing, but I'm not happy about it." "So there!" "A selfless good deed." "You don't feel good about donating the money?" "No, it sucks!" "I was saving up to buy a hamster." "A hamster?" "Those things are, like, $ 10." "Not the one I had my eye on." "It looks like we have surpassed last year's pledge total." "Thank you!" "And the pledge that did it was taken by one of our volunteers." "Oh, boy!" "And may I say, one of our sharpest dressed volunteers." "Mr. Joseph Tribbiani!" "Oh, look!" "Joey's on TV!" "Isn't that great?" "My pledge got Joey on TV!" "That makes me feel so..." "Oh, no!" "Look I got carried away before, but there's something you got to know." "If I'm the best, it's only because you made me the best." "Keep talking." "I was nothing before you." "Call the other girls and ask." "Which wouldn't take long." "But when I'm with you, and we're together oh, my God!" " Really?" " Oh, my God!" "I understand if you never want to sleep with me again." "But that would be wrong." "We're too good." "We owe it to sex!" "If we owe it!" "Oh, my!" "When will Joey be home?" "I was kind of hoping we could do this without him." "No, no, no!" "Leave the gloves on." "I cleaned the bathroom." "Why don't we lose the gloves." "All right." "Let's show them how it's done." " You know that wasn't part of it?" " I know." "You ready?" "We're going to be late." " For what?" " For Stella, remember?" "She's getting her groove back in 20 minutes." "I totally forgot about that." "Can I take a rain check?" "I'm waiting for a call from Emily." "Sure, I guess." "I hear you don't have to go to London." "It's not that easy." "There's still a lot of relationship stuff." "Like what?" "Just stuff." "You know, kind of what Emily wants." "Talk to me." "Maybe I can help." "You can't help." "I have to do this without your help." "I know you can do that too." "I'm just saying if you need to talk..." "Thanks." "Whatever it is that Emily wants just give it to her." "The bottom line is that you love her." "Fix whatever she wants fixed." "Just do it." "You're going to have to try." "You'll hate yourself if you don't." "Come on, answer it!" "Hi, sweetie." "Good." "Yes, I've been thinking about that thing you wanted me to do." "I can do it." "Will you come to New York?" " Never done that before." " Nope." "robinson_crusoe" "Monica?" "What time is it?" "Nine." "But it's dark out." "That's because you always sleep till noon, silly." "This is what nine looks like." "I guess I'll get washed up then." "Watch that sunrise." "I'm getting tired of always sneaking around." "Me too." "What if we went away for the weekend?" "No interruptions." "We could be naked the entire time." "All weekend?" "That's a whole lot of naked." "I'll say I have a conference and you can have a chef thing." "I wanted to go to this culinary fair in Jersey!" "Okay." "You know you're not, though." " Let's go." " Okay." "Wait." "What about Joey?" "The One with the Kips" "I'm going to a culinary fair in Jersey this weekend." "How weird!" "Chandler just said he's got a conference there." "That's funny." "Seems like Chandler's conference could've been in Connecticut or Vermont." "I'm not in charge of where the conference is held." "Do you want people to think it's fake?" "It's a real conference." " Is Rachel here?" " No, she's out shopping." " Damn!" " What's going on?" "I told Emily to come." "And I just need to, you know, talk to Rachel about it." "Wait a minute." "When Emily comes, you won't see Rachel anymore?" "I'm focusing on the "I get to see my wife" part and not on the part that makes me do this." "So you'll never be in a room together?" "How will that even work?" "I have no idea." "I mean..." "But I assure you, I will figure it out." "It doesn't seem like it'll work." "Hi, guys." "What's going on?" "We're flipping Monica's mattress." "So I'm thinking, basically, we pick it up and then we flip it." "That's better than my way." "Hey guys, would you flip mine too?" "Oh, man." "Oh, look!" "A letter from my mom." "So, Rach?" "You know how Emily's coming?" "Oh, yeah." "I know." "Can you hear anything?" "Yeah, somebody just said, "Can you hear anything?"" "Hey, Joey's ass." "What are you doing?" "Remember when they fought and broke up and we were stuck here all night with no food?" "When Ross said "Rachel" at the wedding, I figured it'd happen again." "So I hid this in here." "Candy bars, crossword puzzles..." "Mad Libs!" "Mine!" " Okay, "Name of someone in room."" " Chandler." "Come on, seriously." "What do you got in here?" "Magazines, Doritos..." "Condoms?" "You don't know how long we'll be in here." "We may have to repopulate the Earth." "And condoms are the way to do that?" "Anyway, it all boils down to this." " The last time I talked to Emily..." " Oh, my God!" "Our dog died!" " What?" " Oh, my God!" "LaPooh, our dog!" "LaPooh's still alive?" "Sorry." "It says he was hit by an ice cream truck and dragged for nineteen blocks!" " Oh, my God." " Sweetie, we heard you crying." " Please don't cry." " It's LaPooh!" "I know, it's LaPooh right now but it'll get better." "I can't believe it!" "We're here!" "Chocolates on the pillows!" "I love that!" "You should live with Joey." "Rolos everywhere." "This is so great." "No one's gonna bother us." "And we're gonna do it." "I'm gonna do it with Monica!" "Chandler, stop yelling that you and I are gonna do it!" " I'll be right back." " Okay." "Oh, yes!" "Get in here." "There's a high-speed car chase on!" "We're switching rooms." "Oh, dear God!" "They gave us glasses!" "The glasses have lipstick on them." "Who knows what else they didn't change?" "You wanna switch rooms because they didn't switch the glasses?" "I didn't wanna say anything, but the carpet smells too." "I want this weekend to be perfect." "We can change rooms, can't we?" "Okay, but let's do it now." "Chopper Five just lost its feed!" "Forget it." "You know how there was something I wanted to talk to you about?" "Oh, yeah." "I'm trying to work things out with Emily." "Well, there's this one thing." "Here goes." "I made a promise that..." " What?" " Your nose is bleeding." " Oh, God!" " You're bleeding." "Oh, not again." "This happened when my grandfather died." "Sorry." "Gross." "Okay." "So I'm sorry." "What did you want to tell me?" "Sorry." "Sorry." "I can't see you anymore." "I know, it's ridiculous." "I can't see you, either." "All right." "I'm just gonna go shove a bunch of tissues in my nose." "Hey, do you wanna tell me while I do that?" "I'm good." " I think you'll like this room more." " Okay, great." "They say he's only got half a tank left." "Half a tank?" "Still lots of high-speed chasing to do!" " I'll bet he's heading for Canada." " They always do." " We're switching rooms again." " What?" "Why?" "This has a garden view." "We paid for an ocean view." "Our last ocean-view room was unacceptable to you." " The carpet smelled." " Like ocean?" "No, like feet." "Excuse me." "Can I talk to you over here for just a second?" "These clowns want to take us for a ride." "I won't let them." "We're not a couple of suckers." "I hear you, Mugsy." "All these rooms are fine." "Just pick one so I can watch the..." "Have a perfect, magical weekend together with you?" "Oh, man, he almost hit a gas truck." "Do you ever watch Baywatch?" " This one I like." " Nothing." "Nothing." "It's over." "Damn it!" "This is regularly scheduled programming!" " I wanted to see them talk to his neighbors." " Well, I'm standing right here you could talk to me." " You didn't know him." "Can we turn the TV off?" "Do we really want to spend the weekend like this?" "Am I getting in the way of the room-switching fun?" "Don't blame me for tonight." "Who should I blame?" "The nice bellman?" "Or the idiot who thought he could drive from Albany to Canada on half a tank of gas?" "Do not speak ill of the dead." "We're supposed to be spending a romantic weekend together." "What's the matter?" "I just want to watch a little television." "Jeez, relax, Mom." "What did you say?" "I said, "Jeez, relax, Mon."" "You know what, Chandler?" "You like fast getaways?" "Watch this." "I don't like fast getaways, I like car chases." " Hey, what's up?" " Hey." "I've been wanting to tell you something and I just have to get it out." "Okay." "What's up?" "Okay, before I tell you I just have to know is your nose okay?" "Are all the other family pets in good health?" "Well, Davey's still pining after LaPooh but, you know, he's a tough little turtle." "You know how you said to do whatever it takes to fix my marriage?" "Yeah, I told you to give Emily whatever she wants." "And while that was good advice, you should know that what she wants is for me not to see you anymore." "That's crazy!" "You can't do that." "What are you going to tell her?" "Oh, my God!" "You've already agreed to this." "It's awful, I know." "But I have to do this if I want my marriage to work." "And I do." "I have to make this marriage work." "I have to." "But the good thing is, we can still see each other until she gets here." "Lucky me!" "Oh, my God!" "That is good news, Ross!" "That's the best news I've heard since LaPooh died!" "You have no idea what a nightmare this has been." "This is so hard." "Oh, yeah, really?" "Is it, Ross?" " Let me make this easier for you." " What are you doing?" " Storming out." " It's your apartment." "Yeah?" "Well, that's how mad I am!" "Damn Rolos!" "You're back!" "How was your conference?" "It was terrible." "I fought with my colleagues the entire time." "Are you kidding with this?" "So your weekend was a bust?" "No, I got to see Donald Trump waiting for an elevator." "You know, at the Taj Mahal he has his own private glass elevator." "That's right." "Made by Otis Elevators." "And they don't usually do glass." "What kinds of stuff do you know?" "You're back too." "Could I talk to you for a second?" " How was your chef thing?" " It was awful." "Some people don't appreciate good food." "Maybe the food tasted good at first but then made everybody vomit and have diarrhea." "How much was the room?" "I'll pay my half." "Fine. $300." "$300?" "Just think of it as $25 per room." "What are you guys woofing about?" "Chandler stole a 20 from my purse!" "I was only stealing it back, the one that she stole from me." "Stealing and now lying." "You know what?" "Now that I think about it I constantly find myself without 20s, and you always have lots." "You should've seen the look on her face." "I don't want Rachel to hate me." "I don't know what to do." " You want my advice?" " Yes." "Please." " You won't like it." " That's okay." "You got married too fast." " That's not advice." " I told you." "I'm going to the bathroom." "If anyone asked me to give up any of you, I couldn't do it." "Me neither." "Maybe I could do it." "I know you guys heard about me and Ross." "But I've been obsessing about it and would love not to talk about it." "I don't know if this falls under that category but Ross is right back there." " That's not Ross." " Not that guy." "He does look like him, though." "Ross is in the bathroom." "Oh, my God!" "It's happening." "It's already started." "I'm Kip." "Yeah, you're not Kip." "Do you even know who Kip is?" "Who cares?" "You're Rachel." "Who's Kip?" "My old roommate." "We all hung out together." "Oh, that poor bastard." "You told me the story." "He and Monica dated." "When they broke up, you all promised you'd stay his friend." "And what happened?" "He got phased out." " You won't be phased out." " Of course I am." "It won't happen to Ross." "He's your brother, your college roommate." "Kip didn't even have to be Kip." "We handled that all wrong." "It was a long time ago." "And it was before you and me were around." "They didn't know what they were doing." "Chandler had a mustache, for crying out loud." "It was just a matter of time." "I just assumed Phoebe would be the one to go." "You live far away, you're not related." "You lift right out." "Hey, Mr. Bing." "That hotel you stayed at called." "Someone left an eyelash curler in your room." "Yes, that was mine." "I figured you met a girl and she left it." "That would have made more sense." "I don't even feel like I know you anymore." "All right, I'm just going to ask you this one time." "Whatever you say, I'll believe you." "Were you or were you not on a gay cruise?" "I'm sorry about the whole "lifting out" thing." "You gotta come with me." " Where?" " Wherever I go." "You and me, we'll start a new group." "We're the best ones." "Okay, but try to get Joey too." "Pheebs, do you mind if I speak to Rachel alone?" "Sure." "Bye, Ross." "Forever." "Why are you here?" "Isn't this against the rules?" "I talked to Monica." "Look, I'm the one who made the choice." "I'm the one who's making things change." "So I should be the one to, you know, step back." "No, no, it's okay." "Really." "Plenty of people just see their sisters at Thanksgiving their college roommates at reunions and Joey at Burger King." "Is that better?" "No, it's not better." "I still don't get to see you." "What would you do?" "If you were me, what would you do?" "First, I'd have said the right name at my wedding." "I can't believe this." "I know." "I am so sorry." "I know that too." "Hey, Rach?" "Sorry to interrupt, but Phoebe said you want to talk to me about a trip?" "I just came over to drop off nothing." "So that weekend kind of sucked." "Yeah, it did." "So I guess this is over?" "You know, you and me." "I mean, it had to end sometime." "Why exactly?" "Because of the weekend." "We had a fight." "Chandler, that's crazy." "If you always gave up after a fight you'd never be with anyone longer than..." "This isn't over?" "You are so cute!" "No, no." "It was a fight." "You deal with it and you move on." "It's nothing to freak out about." "Really?" "Okay, great!" "Welcome to an adult relationship." "We're in a relationship?" "I'm afraid so." "I heard you saw Donald Trump at your convention." "Saw him waiting for an elevator." "Can I use your eyelash curler?" "I lost mine." "It's in the bathroom." "Can I talk to you for a second?" "Yes." "Yes." "You?" "And you?" "But you cannot tell anyone." "No one knows." "But how?" "When?" " It happened in London." " In London!" "We didn't want to make a big deal out of it." "But it is a big deal!" "I have to tell someone!" "You can't." " Please." "Now, I know this is hard." " It is." "It hurts." "We just don't want to deal with telling everyone." "Please just promise you won't tell." "All right." "Man, this is unbelievable!" "I mean, it's great!" "But..." "I know." "It's great!" "I don't want to see that!" "We're so stupid." "Do you know what's going on in there?" "They're trying to take Joey!" ""The most popular Phoebe in tennis is called the overhand Phoebe." "If you win, slap your opponent on the Phoebe and say, 'Hi, Phoebe!"'" "That's cute." "We really all enjoyed it." " But it doesn't count." " For what?" "Just count in our heads as good Mad Libs." " I gotta go." " Fun's over." "Wait, if we follow the rules it's still fun and it means something." "I'm going to take off." "Guys, rules are good!" "Rules help control the fun." "robinson_crusoe" "None of that." "Not while you're under my roof!" "Just because I know about you doesn't mean I like looking at it." "Aren't you supposed to be at an audition?" "I'm sorry I'm not a middle-aged black woman." "I'm also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition." "If I pretend to not know about you then you pretend there's nothing to know." "Sorry." "I can hear that!" "Rachel's at work." "I can still hear you!" "The One With the Yeti" "What's that?" "My mom sent me an heirloom that belonged to my grandmother." "Can you believe it?" "A year ago I had no family, and now I have heirlooms!" "The only heirloom I ever got was a feather boa." "Got if from my dad." "He got it from his dad." "How did I ever get born?" "Oh, God!" "Soft." "Is this mink?" "Why would my mother send me a fur?" "Doesn't she know me but at all?" "I have a fine coat that no innocent animals suffered to make." "Just Filipino kids who worked their fingers bloody for 12 cents an hour." "I made that up." "You can't put up flyers in here." "How come?" "Everybody else does." "You can't." "What is that?" "I'm getting rid of some things." "This is all of your things." "Yes, it is." "It's good." "Emily thinks we should get all new stuff." "Stuff that's just ours." "Together." "Brand new." "So it's a get-rid-of-anything- Rachel-ever-touched sale." "Touched, used, sat on, slept on..." "I'll take it all." "You're okay with that?" "If I can just do what Emily wants and get her to New York, it will be fine." "Isn't that a little extreme?" "After what I did, can you blame her?" "You got off easy." "When my friend's husband said another name in bed she cursed him and turned his thingy green." "I guess I'm lucky Emily is not magic." "Oh, she is." "We all are." "What is he doing?" "Emily thinks Ross' furniture has got Rachel cooties?" "Calm down, Joey." "Everything's getting all messed up!" "Emily won't let Ross see Rachel." "We won't stop seeing Rachel." "Hence, Ross stops seeing us." "I hate this." "Everything's changing." "We're losing Ross." "Joey said "hence."" "I'm not happy about this either, but if Ross says he's happy then we have to keep our feelings to ourselves." "Are you cool with that?" "But, you know, I'm an actor." "I'll act cool." "Probably be some of the hardest acting I've ever done." "Maybe I'll play it with a mustache." "Storage rooms give me the creeps." "Please hurry up, honey." "If you want little round waffles, wait till I find the iron." "I want the little round waffles." "Here it is!" "Right underneath the can of bug bomb." "Is the best place to put something that cooks food underneath poison?" "You know what?" "I'll have toast." "Fog him!" "Fog him!" "I don't know what to do about this coat." "I'll take it." "That might work." "What do you think?" "You're on in five, Ms. Minnelli." "No, it's just a bit sudden." "It's great, okay?" "I am totally onboard." "I love you too." "All right, bye." "What's the matter?" "Nothing." "No, actually great news!" "I just spoke with Emily and looks like I'm moving to a new apartment." "Why?" "Her thought is, and I agree fresh new furniture, why not a fresh new apartment?" "Her cousin has a place to sublet." "It's got a view of the river and Columbia." "That's way uptown!" "That's three trains away which is great!" "I love to ride that rail." "You're okay with this?" "It's kind of far from work but I'll get so much done on the commute." "I've been given the gift of time." "That's so funny." "Last Christmas I got the gift of space." "We should get them together and make a continuum." "Now he's moving?" "Man, what is Emily doing to him?" "He's not even here!" "You guys!" "We were in the storage area, and we saw this creepy man." "It was this crazy-eyed, hairy beast-man." "It was like a Big Foot or a yeti or something." "He came at us, so Rachel used a bug bomb on him." "I pulled the tab and I just fogged his yeti ass." "Like, dark hair, bushy beard?" "Yeah, you fogged Danny." "Please!" "We did not fog Danny." "Who's Danny?" "Danny just moved in." "He just got back from a four-month trek in the Andes." "Nice fella." "He's nice." "You know, you always stick up for the people we fog." "You might not remember us, but we're the girls that fogged you." "We're really sorry we fogged you." "Just so you know, we didn't mean to fog you." "We thought you were like a yeti or something." "Sorry to bother you, but we can't accept your acceptance of our apology." "It doesn't really seem like you mean it." "That guy is so rude!" "Really!" "What is with that guy?" "You'd forgive me if I fogged you." "You did, a little bit." "Oh, my God, honey." "I'm so sorry." " I totally forgive you." " Really?" "You know my friend Chris who owns the crematorium?" "Crematorium Chris?" "Sure." "He said he would cremate my fur coat for free if I bring in the next person I know who dies." "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God." "Look at these pelts!" "Don't get too attached." "She's having it cremated." "You're quirky, and I get a big kick out of it." "We all do." "But if you destroy a coat like this that is like a crime against nature." "Not nature." "Fashion!" "This is fashion?" "So to you, death is fashion?" "That's funny." "Here's Phoebe sporting cutting-edge hairy carcass from, you know, the steel traps of wintry Russia." "You really think this looks good?" "Because I do!" "I miss you too." "I can't wait to see you." "I love you." "Bye." "What is in here, rocks?" "No, it's my collection of fossil samples." "So, rocks." "I'll miss this apartment." "You know, Ben took his first steps right over there." "Remember when I ran into this and it knocked me out?" "I love this place." "To tell the truth, I wish I didn't have to move." "Are you saying that you're not entirely happy about this?" "If Emily gave me a choice..." "You do have a choice!" "Why are you listening to her?" "Are you crazy?" "It's not right what Emily wants you to do." "She's totally..." "Stop pinching me!" "You guys said to keep my mouth shut if Ross was happy, right?" "He just told me that he's not entirely happy." "What's going on?" "We all hate Emily!" "No, Ross, we do not hate Emily." "We just think that you're having to sacrifice a whole lot to make her happy." "We just think that maybe she's being a little unreasonable." "Yes, unreasonable." "Unreasonable?" "How about we have this conversation when one of you marries?" "You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work." "It's compromise." "Do you always like it?" "No." "Do you do it?" "Yes." "Because it's not all laughing, happy, candy in the sky coffee at Central Perk." "It's real life, okay?" "It's what grownups do." "I think he's right." "You guys hang out at the coffeehouse way too much." " I feel so guilty about Ross." " I know." "I kind of feel like it's my fault." "Kind of?" "You should have kept this to yourself." "I'm keeping so many things to myself, something was bound to slip out!" "I think it's very brave what you said." "I can't sit here anymore." "I have to walk places." "What's with the coat?" "How about the animal rights thing?" "I've been reading up, and for your information minks aren't very nice." " So they deserve to be killed?" " Well, they are real bad." "Okay, I admit it." "I love this coat, okay?" "It's the best thing I ever had wrapped around me, including Phil Huntley." "Remember Phil Huntley?" "He was fine." "So you like the short hair better?" "Yeti?" "Danny?" "I had to cut my hair to get rid of the fogger smell." "Listen, I'm so sorry." "I would have never fogged you if you hadn't looked so..." "Absolutely." "Some people are just into appearances." "What?" "It's cool." "No, that is not cool." "You don't even know me." "You got the shopping bags and the Saks catalog." "From that, you've got me all figured out?" "Well, you don't." "You know, I could have toys for underprivileged kids in here." "Do you?" "You know, if kids like to play with capri pants." "Stop saying that." "I hate that!" "I judged you." "I made a snap judgment." "But you did it too, and you're worse." "You're sticking to your judgment." "You can't even open your mind to see you might be wrong." "What does that say about you?" "That pizza place across the street any good?" "I'm hungry." "You want some pizza?" "You can keep yelling." "Stop saying that." "I hate that." "Are you still mad?" "Good!" "We have an "I'm Sorry" song." "You know what?" "I'm not in the mood." "Look, Ross." "I feel really bad." "You're going through all this stuff and I just acted like a jerk." " We are so sorry." " You're stepping on the song." "We were way out of line, all right?" "We totally support you." "Whatever you decide, whatever you do." "Now you're just taking lines out of the song." "This is hard enough, okay?" "I really need you guys right now." "Yes, exactly!" "And that's why..." "Why don't you come over tonight, and I'll make your favorite dinner." "Thanks, you guys." "Are you wearing fur?" "Let's get some perspective, people." "It's not like I'm wearing a seeing-eye dog coat!" "You know, I think I kind of understand why I lost it today." "You do, huh?" "You see I'm an actor, right?" "So I got to keep my emotions right at the surface." "I got a lot of balls in the air, you know?" "It's tough." "Guys like me, you wander around, you're alone." "What are you talking about?" "I'm not sure." "Look at you!" "Where have you been?" "I went to have pizza." "With Danny." " What happened?" " That yeti is one smooth talker." "Yetis are smooth-talkers." "That's why you never see any pictures of them." ""Come here, baby." "Give me the camera."" "I hope you're not full." "Dinner's almost ready." "I think I'll probably just hang out in my room." "Why?" "Come on, you guys!" "If Emily knew I was having dinner with you, she'd flip out." "It's okay." "I really don't mind." "Wait, wait." "You know what?" "Just stay." "Please." "It would mean a lot for me if you stay." "Ross, I just..." "Please, just have dinner with us!" "Settle down." "All right." "I'm sorry." "You see, Rach, I'm an actor." "Hey, look!" "Ugly Naked Guy's back." "We haven't seen him in so long." "Oh, God!" "I really missed that fat bastard." "This is so weird." "I realized this may be the last time we hang out together." "It's almost as if he knew." "I'll get it." "Hi, Emily." "You tracked him down." "Hold on." "Yeah, we're just having dinner." "Sure, hold on." "She wants to say hi." "Hi, Emily!" "Hello, everyone." "So who am I saying hello to?" "Well, I don't know about who's here but I can tell you who's not here, and that's Rachel!" "I should hope not." "Ross knows better than that by now." "You know what?" "Rachel is here." "She's there?" "Oh, yeah, there she is!" "She's here." "Take me off speakerphone." "How could you do this to me?" "I made my feelings about Rachel perfectly clear." "I'm just having dinner with my friends, okay?" " You can't keep away from her." " That's ridiculous." " Hello?" "Hello?" " Who is this?" "It's Ross." "What are you doing?" "Sorry, dude, I had to make a call." "Joey." "Joey, they don't have two lines, they have two phones." "Gotcha." "I'm sorry." "Emily, listen." "I have never cheated on you." "I'm moving for you." "I'm cutting friends out of my life for you." "Please, get on the plane and come to New York, okay?" "You're the only one I want to be with." "I'll feel better when I'm there." "I can know where you are all the time." "You can't know where I am all the time." "This marriage will never work if you don't trust me." "You're right." "Can you trust me?" "I think it's going okay." "Looks like he's smiling." "How can you tell?" "You can only see his back." "You can totally tell!" "Here, look, watch me." "Smile." "Frown." "Smile." "Frown." "Smile." "I guess that's it." "Why?" "What happened?" "My marriage is over." "Look at you, you're shivering." "Here." "Honey, is there anything we can do?" "You can help me get my furniture back from Gunther." "Stop tormenting me!" "This is mink, okay?" "They're mean, and they hate squirrels." "Most of these probably wanted to be coats." "Fine." "No, I get it." "Here." "You take it." "Are you happy now?" "I'm cold!" "robinson_crusoe" "Are you looking at naked tribeswomen?" "No, look." "That's a pig." "I know." "But look at the knobs on it!" "Emily's cousin kicked me out." " What?" " Why?" "When you sublet from your wife's cousin then you divorce, sometimes the cousin wants his apartment back." "Didn't you sign a lease?" "Who needs a lease when it's "family"?" "You can stay with us." "Anything you need." "But you have to let us know when you feel better so we can make fun of your hair." "You got it." "Thanks, I really appreciate this." "I'm going to get packing again." "I've been moving around so much that I feel like a nomad." " What?" " He thought you said gonad." "The One Where Ross Moves In" "If every place were this clean, it'd be tough making a living." "Oh, Larry!" "Do health inspectors work on commission?" "No, bribes." " It's okay to laugh?" " I was just kidding." " I'll check the kitchen floor." " Knock yourself out." "I don't get violations." "You could eat beans off that floor." "But don't, because that'd be a violation." "Yummy!" "Yeah, I'd let him check out my kitchen floor." "A ninety-eight." "I deducted two points for not wearing your hat." "That is a Section 5 violation." "Now look, Larry, honey." "I wrote the book on Section 5." "You only need to wear it in the kitchen." " Where's your hat?" " In the kitchen." "I'll get it." "There's the two points!" "You should really read that book you wrote." "You saw the hat in the kitchen and knew she'd go in hatless to get it." "You could have your own health inspector detective show." "I don't know about that." "But then I could be your sidekick, Voonda." "Maybe I could ask Voonda to dinner sometime?" "She would love that since you know all the clean places to eat." "I'll call you." "He's so funny!" "Thank you." "How's Ross doing since all the Emily stuff?" "He's not great." "But he's dealing with it." "Wait, you're not..." "I can't get started with all that Ross stuff again." "He'll be screwed up for a long time." "Besides, I don't go for guys right after they get divorced." "Right, you only go for them five minutes before they get married." " Two pounds of mocha java." " It's Danny." "Are you going to go out again?" "I don't know." "He hasn't called since we went out." "I see him in the hallway." "We flirt." "I'm all:" "And then nothing." "Wow, thirsty." "I'm having a party on Saturday." "Sort of a housewarming thing." " Fun." " Great!" "I'm looking forward to it." "See you!" "So I guess we won't be warming his house." "All right, I see what he's doing." "He's not asking me out because he wants me to ask him out." "And you won't do that." "That's right!" "Because that would give him the control." "So now he comes up with this "I've got a party" thing to get me to hint for an invitation." "Blew up in his face, didn't it?" "So there is no party?" "No, there's a party." "There's a party." "But the power?" "That is still up for grabs." "You follow me?" "I think so." "So he won't invite you to his party because he likes you?" "Exactly!" "Then why didn't he invite me?" "To throw me off." "Hey, roomies!" "I love what you've done with the place." "I know it's a lot of boxes." " I appreciate you letting me stay here." " Not a problem." "Since you'll be here a while we could put your name on the answering machine." "I hope you don't mind but I kind of already jazzed it up a little." "Check it out." "We will" "We will call you back" "Pretty cool." " You're fake laughing too, right?" " The tears are real." "You look beautiful this evening." "Show me the badge again." "Shiny." "You mind if I wash up?" "Who knows where these have been?" "You are just nonstop!" " We're out of here." " Why?" "I saw 10 violations." "I'm shutting this place down!" " You have the power to do that?" " This does." "Shut it down." "What are you doing?" "Nothing." "You built a fort, didn't you?" "Kind of." "Oh, my God!" "The air purifier." "Ross' air purifier." "All I heard for four years through college was..." "You should have gone out once in a while." " I hate this thing!" " Come on, Chandler." "Ross is our friend." "He needs us right now." "So why don't you be a grownup and come watch TV in the fort?" "Can't believe that Larry closed down Churman's." "I love that place." "You should have heard about all their violations." "Larry said that they should call it Vermin's." "That guy just plain kills me." "I wanted to invite you to the party." "Thanks, I'll try to stop by." "Actually, I think I'm going to be busy." "You are?" "Remember, I've got that gala?" "What's the gala for?" "It's a regatta gala." "Do you sail?" "No, but I support it." "I hope I see you tomorrow night." "Take care." "Walked right into that one, didn't he?" "What one?" "You wanted him to invite you and he did." "He waited until the last minute." "So if I said yes he'd know I had nothing better to do than wait for his invitation." "But I said no which puts me back in the driver's seat." "So the ball is in his court?" "Ball?" "No, there's no ball." "Hey, Pheebs, you want to join us?" " Oh, sure, yeah." "Where is this from?" " It's from Sun Ling's." "Oh, Larry just told me something about Sun Ling." "Oh, no, thank you." "Joey, please." "Sorry." "Hello, children." "You want to play some foosball?" "Please?" "We moved the table into my room because of all the boxes." "Come on!" "I have one question." "What is the deal with this?" "Bye-bye, little puppet Joey hand?" "No, the quiet down thing." "You mean this." "I don't know how much more I can take." "Did you know he taped over my Baywatch tape with a show about bugs?" "My God!" "What if that had been porn?" "All right, this may be tough but it's Ross." "I survived college with him." "I guess I can hold out a little longer." "Let's have a game." "Fellas?" "So he's out of here." "Got anything to eat?" "I went to Jono's and it was closed." "I took Larry there, but it was all violated, so we shut it down." "If this guy keeps closing our favorite places, where will we eat?" "I don't know." "Clean places?" "Yum!" "It's Danny." "Don't let him in!" "I'm supposed to be at a gala." "We'll be right there." "Can't you say it's later?" "What kind of a regatta gala starts at night?" "The fake kind." " I need a ladle." "You got a ladle?" " We have a ladle." "See you at the party." "You know what Larry would say?" "He'd say, "See you ladle."" "I'm done." "You want anything?" "Sports?" "International?" "Apartment listings?" "I'll take sports." "Mine!" "All right, international." "That's mine too." "I'm Italian." "I could check apartment listings, though there's never anything here." "Not even on page seven?" "You're right." "Here's an affordable place." "Two-bedroom, close to work." "It's available in five weeks." "What about that circled one?" "It's kind of expensive for a studio." "But it's available now." "Isn't it?" "Yes, it is." "Let's go look at it!" "There we go!" "Guys, would you chip in for some new air filters for the purifier?" "I mean, after all, we are all using it." "Let's go quicker!" "Oh, my God!" "Look at this kitchen/bathroom." "That's great!" "So you can cook while in the tub." "Somebody was using his head." "Let's check out the rest of the place." "I think this is it." "I don't know." "Maybe we should keep looking." "But this place is available now." "You don't want to be stuck with us for five weeks." "So you think I should take this place?" "It's perfect!" "How about you?" "Kitchen, slash, bathroom." "I see what you guys are saying." "I'll go downstairs and fill out an application." "We are bad people." "He knew we were trying to get rid of him." "Could we get a bathtub in our kitchen?" "Ready for dinner?" " Absolutely." " Great." "You wanted to go to the Italian place on Bleecker St.?" "I love that place!" "So, no." "How about Mama Lozetti's?" "Sure." "How long has that milk been sitting out?" "No, this place is totally healthy." "This milk is mine." "I bought this today because I was thirsty for milk, you know?" "Okay, let's go." "Hey, buddy." "Health Code 11 B requires that refuse be taken out the back exit." "But then I have to go all the way around." "So you choose convenience over health?" "Would you be interested in a free coffee?" "Stop, Larry." "Can't you just be Larry and not Larry the health inspector guy?" "It was exciting at first." "But now, it's like, so where are we going to eat ever?" "I suppose I could give him a warning." "Thank you." "Go, go!" "Lf, after dinner, you still need to bust someone I know a hot dog vendor who picks his nose." "Maybe we did good, helping Ross get back on his feet." "That was a nice place." "No closet space, but he could hang his stuff out the window in a bag." "What do we do?" "I don't know." "Maybe pizza?" "About Ross!" "It's the apartment manager." "Ross put us as references." "Ross is the greatest guy." "He's very reliable..." "Of course, he has a big, huge dog that barks into the night." "Well, who doesn't love dogs?" "He's a tap dancer." "Yes, some would say that is a lost art." "He's a pimp!" "There you go." "He's a pimp." "He's a big, tap-dancing pimp!" " Okay, honey, I'm ready." " What are you doing?" "I am going to wander into the party and I will be all, you know:" ""I don't need this, I'm coming from a regatta gala."" "Did you get this out of a book?" "Monica, honey, this is as real as it gets." "This is never going to work." "He's right there." "Just go say hi." "I have to go downstairs and back up, as if I'm coming home from the gala." "So just go distract him." "But don't be sexy." "What's going on?" "This is a great party." "Great food." "You know, most parties, it's all chips and salsa, chips and salsa." "So..." "What's this?" "Salad." "And what's this?" "Bread." "Aren't you a chef?" "Right, tonight was your party." "You look great!" "I'm glad you made it." "Well, you know, the gala had to end sometime." "Don't go anywhere." "I'll be right back." "Whose court is the ball in now?" "I thought there wasn't a ball." "Come on." "He's glad I came." "He doesn't want me to go anywhere." "Ball's flying all over the place." "This is my friend, Tom." "This is the girl I told you about." "Come on!" "You telling people about me?" "I think you two could really hit it off." "I'm gonna go mingle." "So you work at Bloomingdale's?" "My mom calls it "Bloomies."" "At ease, soldier!" "I'm sorry?" "You can just drop the act." "I know what's going on." "You're Danny's wingman, right?" "You guys are best buds, frat bros." "I'm going to go talk to a friend." "Yeah, you go talk to your friend." "Go tell him, "Nice try."" "He just keeps lobbing them up and I keep knocking them right out of the park." "I think I need a drink." "Ninety-eight ninety-nine one hundred!" "Okay." "Go." "Dude, I'm telling you, I'm fine." "Here we go, here we go." "So I didn't get that apartment." "Some problem with my application." "You're kidding?" "But Phoebe said I could stay at her place for a while, so..." "Well, you can't stay with Phoebe." "We're roomies." "You don't need me taking up all your space." "We got plenty of space." "There's still some by that speaker." "Please, just stay." "Are you sure?" " Definitely." " You have to stay." "So I'm a pimp, huh?" "It's okay." "Sometimes I can be a pain in the ass." "But just talk to me." "Tell me if something bothers you." "And I'll do everything I can to keep my annoying habits just..." "Well, I see you've had a very productive day." "The cowboy hat's a little much." "Come on, it's fun!" "All right." "Isn't this a woman's hat?" "Stop talking crazy, and make us tea!" "robinson_crusoe"