"[SINGING IN AFRICAN DIALECT]" "* Ever since we could think For ourselves *" "* We've wondered What will happen to us *" "* But it can't be foretold What the future will hold *" "* If you'll get rich Or get hit by a bus *" "* The surprises in life *" "* Keep us on our toes *" "* Like a sock in the jaw *" "* Like a punch in the nose *" "* They keep us guessing *" "* They mix it up *" "* The surprises *" "* The surprises in life *" "[MEOWS]" "Oh." "I thought they were supposed to land on their feet." "[***]" "ALL:" "* It's time for Animaniacs *" "* And we're zany to the max *" "* So just sit back and relax *" "* You'll laugh Till you collapse *" "* We're Animaniacs *" "BOTH:" "* Come join The Warner brothers *" "* And the Warner sister, Dot *" "ALL:" "* Just for fun we run around The Warner movie lot *" "* They lock us in the tower Whenever we get caught *" "* But we break loose And then vamoose *" "* And now you know the plot *" "* We're Animaniacs *" "* Dot is cute and Yakko yaks *" "* Wakko packs away the snacks *" "* We pay tons Of income tax *" "* We're Animaniacs *" "* Meet Ralph And Dr. Scratchansniff *" "* Say hi to Hello Nurse *" "* Goodfeathers flock together *" "* Slappy whacks 'em With her purse *" "* Buttons chases Mindy *" "* While Rita sings a verse *" "* The writers flipped We have no script *" "* Why bother to rehearse?" "*" "* We're Animaniacs *" "* We have pay-or-play Contracts *" "* We're zany to the max *" "* There's bologna In our slacks *" "* We're Animan-y *" "* Totally insane-y *" "[GROANS]" "* Animaniacs *" "* Those are the facts *" "ANNOUNCER:" "And now, Yakko Warner sings all of the words in the English language." "[***]" "* Aardvark, abating Abet, abdicating *" "* Abandon, abase and abreast *" "* Ablaze and ablution Abhor and abusion *" "* Abbreviate, abbey Abscessed *" "* Abduct and ablation Abridge and abrasion *" "* Abash and abrupt and abride *" "* Abscond and absentia Absent, abstentia *" "* Abdomen, ably, abide *" "* Abominable, abrogate Absolute, absent *" "* Absorbent, abstention Abstraction *" "* Absurd and abundant Abusive, abutment *" "* Acacia, academy, action *" "* Accede and accost And accept and across *" "* And accompany, acre, accord *" "* Accomplish, account And accrue and amount *" "* Acrimonious, active, adore *" "* Adrenaline, adulate Adder and advocate *" "* Advertise, adverse, abrade *" "* Advice, adversarial Advent and aerial *" "* Affluent, after, afraid *" "Well, there it is." "Yakko Warner now well under way in singing all the words in the English language." "I'm Dot Warner." "With me is Dick Button." "Dick, a good start?" "Oh, yes, Dot." "A marvelous start to what is a difficult, difficult routine." "Stay tuned, and we'll be back to bring you the whole thing." "[***]" "BOY [NARRATING]:" "It was hotter than blazes, about 110." "So we stayed in the house, in the air conditioning." "We just hung around, my sister and me and watched countless hours of daytime TV." "Too hot to go out." "We'd melt in the sun." "So we stared at the tube, which isn't much fun." "All we could do was watch, watch, watch, watch till I spilled lots of soda all over my crotch." "Then we heard a "kaboom." That kaboom shook the room." "We turned, and into our house something slid." "A strange-looking fellow:" "the kid in the lid." "And he said to us:" "Oops." "Now look what I did." "Now, we all know it's hot, and you don't have a pool." "But there are lots of fun things we can do that are cool." "The first silly thing we can do..." "Said the kid." "...is play with some glue." "Said the kid in the lid." "Lots of wet glue." "We'll make a big mess." "We'll glue things together." "Your parents will stress." "But our parents were out." "They were gone for a week." "To be truthful, they've been gone for a 90-day streak." "The last that we heard, they were in the Bahamas, leaving us here to face childhood traumas." "As for playing with glue, my sis said:" "Let's do it." "Kids need to have fun." "I shouted." "Let's glue it." "But our pet woodchuck said:" "No, that kid has to leave." "Open the door, and give him the heave." "He doesn't seem normal." "He doesn't seem well." "Besides that, his pants have a real funny smell." "Hey, woodchuck, calm down." "Just relax." "Said the kid." "It's you who smells bad." "Said the kid in the lid." "I bet you've not washed in at least seven months." "So I strongly suggest that we bathe you at once." "In the tub..." "Said the kid." "...goes the smelly woodchuck." "Use lots of shampoo to cut through all the muck." "No, stop." "Yelled our woodchuck." "Get me out of this tub." "As the water got deeper, the woodchuck went:" "Blub!" "It's okay." "Said the kid." "I won't let you drown." "I'll pull on this chain so the water goes down." "And the woodchuck goes too, and he goes down the drain and comes out the potty in considerable pain." "Then the toilet exploded, a messy disaster." "The water rose up and wrecked all the plaster." "It surged down the hallway and flooded the den." "It filled up the kitchen and bedrooms, and then... it splashed out the door and into the street, where it provided relief from the afternoon heat." "Kids came from all over to splash in the lake, not knowing the source was our potty break." "They're swimming in water straight out of our toilet." "Think we should tell 'em?" "Nah." "That'd just spoil it." "Ooh, you're gonna get it." "Said our woodchuck, upset." "You've ruined our house and got everything wet." "I think you're insane." "You're rude, and you're naughty." "To make matters worse, I'm stuck in this potty." "Perhaps you should nap." "You need sleep." "Said the kid." "Then all of us watched as that kid closed the lid." "[WOODCHUCK SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]" "Then he went running off, and in less than an hour, the kid had come back with a small water tower." "I've returned." "Said the kid." "I've returned with this tower." "It would've been sooner, but I needed a shower." "He opened the top and shouted:" "Let's play." "Then out sprang two kids, who responded:" "BOTH:" "Okay." "These two are my sibs." "They're fun." "Wait and see." "May I proudly present Kid 2 and Kid 3?" "They gave us a kiss..." "Mwah." "...then said:" "BOTH:" "Hello, nurse." "The first kid was trouble, but these two seem worse." "Hi." "How you doing?" "That's Mary." "I'm Scooter." "Kid 2 looked at Mary, then whispered:" "I'm cuter." "Then they ran all around, doing impossible feats, acting like kids who've had too many sweets." "Kid 3 said:" "I'm hungry." "His eye started twitching." "He shot out the room and ran into the kitchen." "He opened the cupboards and then started chewing on cans of tomatoes and carrots for stewing." "He gulped down the flour, some dry macaroni, three bottles of ketchup and then Rice-A-Roni." "The San Francisco treat." "[TROLLEY BELL DINGS]" "He ate all the dishes, but didn't stop there." "He swallowed the sink, then our new Frigidaire." "[SIGHS]" "Hey, that was delicious." "Thanks for the snacks." "I'm hypoglycemic." "I get munchy attacks." "Then we heard a loud blast and ran out the door." "Those three crazy kids were now playing war." "[***]" "Oh, no, you must stop this." "Said sis to Kid 2." "It's this sort of playing you just must not do." "I'm sorry, we can't." "It's too late." "We've begun." "We always play war until somebody's won." "[ARTILLERY SHELL EXPLODES]" "Then the walls started cracking." "The ceiling gave in." "We ran out the door as the whole house caved in." "Then, oh, what bad timing, for right then and there, our parents returned, so we said a quick prayer." "BOTH:" "Don't let them be angry." "We said it again." "Don't let them be angry." "Oh, please, please." "Amen." "Our parents were dazed." "They stood there, dumbfounded." "As they looked at the damage, we knew we'd be grounded." "Well, that was some fun, but enough for one day." "Give us a call, and we'll come back to play." "[BOTH SNIFFING, WHIMPERING]" "Ha, ha, ha." "We gotcha." "Yeah, we were just kiddin'." "We'll rebuild your house and then paint it with Glidden." "The San Francisco treat." "[BELL DINGS]" "And that's what they did, and in less than a jiffy, the house was rebuilt, and it looked really spiffy." "[FAMILY SIGHS]" "That night we ate well." "It had been quite a day." "But now life was happy." "It was all A-okay." "WOODCHUCK:" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Anyone?" "Anybody?" "Can anyone hear me?" "I'm still in the potty!" "[***]" "* Level and levity Lewd and longevity *" "* Libel, libation, lanai *" "* Lithium, litigate Legal, legitimate *" "* Liberty, levee and lie *" "Welcome back." "Yakko's now at the L's, as he tries to sing all the words in the English language." "A slight mistake at the F's." "Here's what it looked like:" "* Facial and faction And fractal and fraction *" "* And fraudulent Fragrant, frappé *" "* Frankincense, frankinship Fragij-- *" "* Shoot." "Yada-yadaflambé *" "Now, that mistake could have proved costly for Yakko, but he recovered beautifully." "Now let's watch as Yakko continues with the L's." "* Libation and libertine Limited, limousine *" "* Limpid and limbo and lime *" "* Lima and lipid And literature, liquid *" "* And listing and liter And line *" "* There's lobby and loading And loathsome *" "* And loaning and loco And then locomotion *" "* There's lotus and lottery Lobo, lobotomy *" "* Logic and loosen and lotion *" "* Lozenge and lubber And lucky and lover *" "* And lullaby Lumber and Luke *" "* Luster and luscious And lunatic, lustrous *" "* And lurking and lunar And lute *" "Yakko's now about halfway through all the words in the English language." "Dick Button and I will be back with more." "[***]" "[SIGHS]" "ALL:" "* She's a cranky old critter She's bitter, we warn ya *" "* She lives in a tree house *" "* In Burbank, California *" "* Along with her nephew *" "* He says "Spew" He's cheerful *" "* Then his aunt starts to rant She gives him an earful *" "* She's grumpy, he's happy It's generation gappy *" "ALL:" "* Take a whirl With the squirrels *" "* Skippy and Slappy *" "Ah, put a sock in it." "* That's my Aunt Slappy * ALL: * Aunt Slappy *" "[***]" "NARRATOR:" "The 1950s." "The days of Ike, Elvis, beatniks and sputnik." "Crazy, man, crazy." "Also in the '50s, the theater world was revolutionized by the Stanislavsky method of acting." "In New York City, the Method Actor's Studio opened to teach this new acting technique to the leading performers of the day, including child actor" "Skippy Squirrel." "[SNAPPING FINGERS]" "Dig this crazy scene." "Like, it's a total groove, you know, Aunt Slappy, man?" "Speak English, will ya, Skippy?" "You're starting to get on my nerves." "Later, Jackson." "I've gotta hit classville, dig?" "Yeah, and I'm going with you." "No, please, man, you'll embarrass me in front of my comrades." "Yeah, well, if I'm paying for your acting classes, Ivan," "I'm gonna make sure I'm getting my money's worth." "Dragsville, daddy-o." "Hiya, Skippy." "WOMAN:" "Skippy." "MAN:" "Hey, man, how ya doin'?" "Ooh." "Hello, Skippy." "I am a big, big fan." "Yeah, dug your reading at the last class, man." "Yeah, what's your secret?" "You gotta dig where you're at." "Dig?" "Totally crazy." "I couldn't agree more." "But, Skipp-o, as an actor, how do I free my internal emotional life?" "Prunes ought to do it." "No, man." "Don't act, just be." "It's deep." "So is a coma, which might be more enjoyable than this class." "Somebody get Kevorkian on the phone." "[FINGERS SNAPPING]" "Okay, listen up." "Here is our beloved artistic director, Lee Stressbird." "Brothers and sisters, class time." "Today, we'll get in touch with the deep, firm things inside ourselves." "Like my spleen." "Cut me some slack, man." "Okay, everybody, up, up, up, up, up." "Time to exercise our inner emotions." "Just using your faces, show me pain." "LEE:" "Yes." "Now anger." "Wild." "Now surprise." "Beautiful." "Now explosive temper." "Wow." "And finally, peace." "Heh." "Too hip, cats." "I was deeply moved." "So was I. Where's the restroom?" "I need to mop up." "Don't bug me." "Okay, let's start today's scene study." "I need two volunteers." "I'll go up if you do, Skippy." "Me?" "Nah, I couldn't do it, man." "WOMAN 1:" "Do it, Skippy." "WOMAN 2:" "Come on, Skippy." "WOMAN 3:" "Yes." "MAN:" "Do it, man." "Okay, okay, I'm cool." "WOMAN:" "All right." "MAN:" "Yeah." "Yeah." "This might be the perfect time to go grab a cheese sandwich." "Now, a scene from Beyond the Waterfront." ""I lost my shot at the boxing title." ""So, what did I get instead?" ""A one-way ticket to Pa" " Pa" "Palo" " Po-- Polo" " To Pa" " Po--"" "Palookaville." "Oh, man, I can't do it." "I stink, man." "I stink." "I'm gonna get fat someday." "You're being too kind to yourself." "ALL:" "Shh." "[SOBBING]" "Help me, Skippy." "Show me how to do it." "Okay, we'll switch parts." "Dig." ""I lost my shot at the boxing title." ""So, what do I get instead?" "A one-way ticket to Palookaville."" "You was my brother, Charlie." "You should've looked out for me a little bit." "I could've had class." "I could've been a contender." "I could've been somebody instead of a bum, which is what I am." "Hey, Stella." "Stella." "Wild." "Genius." "The wildest." "He is the finest actor of his generation." "Who, Skippy?" "He doesn't even know how to do a spit take." "Who cares?" "I do." "Come on, Skippy, we're outta here." "Why, man?" "What's wrong?" "They're just teaching you a bunch of hooey here." "I'm teaching acting." "Acting, huh?" "Well, then why don't you teach the important stuff, like comic timing, pratfalls, and pianos falling from the sky?" "What pianos falling from the sky?" "Well, those, for instance." "[PIANO CRASHES]" "[PIANO CRASHES]" "[ALL MOANING]" "Now, that's acting." "Your theories interest me, elderly squirrel lady." "Tell me more." "All right." "Let's exercise our inner emotions again." "But this time, we'll do it my way." "Ready?" "Ready." "All right." "Show me pain." "[YELLS]" "Yes." "Now show me anger." "[GROWLS]" "Good." "Now surprise." "Yahhhhh!" "Beautiful." "Now explosive temper." "Wow." "And finally, peace." "Dig those crazy stars." "Crazy, man." "Like, coolness." "That was so wild." "Can you dig that, Skippy?" "I'm hip, daddy-o." "[GROWLS]" "Now, class, this is what we call the classic slow burn." "Notice how the redness slowly brightens." "As for me, I prefer the fast burn." "You see, in the fast burn, there's actual steam coming outta the ears." "Of course, the fast burn comes from the hotfoot." "Now, what we need here is a double take." "Good." "As we see the matches are actually dynamite, we should try a wild take." "Yeah." "That's the idea." "Let's all work on some wild takes, shall we?" "Good." "That's nice." "Good." "Very nice." "Work on that eye bulge." "That's it." "And let's see those tongues zigzagging insanely there." "Oh, very nicely done." "And now, quickly, before the dynamite explodes, everyone, look at the camera and give a pathetic wave bye-bye." "ALL:" "Bye-bye." "Stratospheric, Aunt Slappy, man." "[ALL SIGH]" "Now, that's acting." "NARRATOR:" "And so the art of acting changed forever, thanks to Slappy Squirrel." "Duh, I could've been a contender, duh, George." "I could've been a contender i-instead of a bum, which is what I am, yup, yup, yup, yup." "Woo-hoo." "Ha, ha, ha." "Woo-hoo." "[IMITATING BUGS BUNNY] Eh, what's up, fats?" "[IMITATING ROAD RUNNER] Meep, meep." "[IMITATING DAFFY DUCK] Don't be despicable." "I made you an offer you can't refuse." "Pfft." "Sufferin' succotash." "Stella." "I do so dig that crazy comedy." "Ha." "[***]" "* Zachary, Zanzibar Zappy and zamindar *" "* Zillion and ZIP code And Zen *" "* Zany and zoning And zeal and zirconium *" "* Zodiac, zombie, zein *" "Yakko Warner now moments away from having sung all the words in the English language." "Dick Button, is he going to make it?" "If it was anyone else, I'd say no." "But he's young." "He's resilient." "We'll just have to see." "* Zigging and zagging And zealous and zebra *" "* And zenith and zap And zaffer *" "* Zeppelin and zipper And zephyr and zither *" "* Then zinc and zombini And zoo and zucchini *" "* And Zulu and Zorro Then zit and Zamoro *" "* And zero And zoom and... *" "Guess not." "Wait." "* Zaire *" "[APPLAUSE, CHEERING]" "He did it." "Yakko Warner has just sung all the words in the English language." "Hey, congratulations, Yakko." "[SIGHS]" "Thanks, Dick." "Join us next time when Yakko Warner will sing all of the numbers above zero." "Good night." "[***]" "[***]" "Set three extra places." "ALL:" "We're coming over for dinner." "As long as you're not having tuna wiggle again."