"Antwone." "He's here." "Antwone's here." "That's Antwone." "Antwone?" "First call." "First call." "Damn." "Berkley?" "What?" "You been in there 1 0 minutes." "Shut up." "One day chief's gonna catch you taking them Hollywood showers." "I should snitch on you." "Come on, move, man." "Get out of my way, snitch." "Come on, move." "Yeah." "Got you, man." "Quit playing, man." "What's cracking, Fisher?" "Your head if you don't get away from me." "What is that on your face?" "Say something else." "Say something." "You're always talking." "Get off him." "Why do you gotta fight?" "Relax." "I'm cool, man." "I'm cool." "Punk mother" "Petty Officer Fisher, you're accused of violating article 1 28:" "Assault on a superior non-commissioned officer." "How do you plead?" "Guilty, sir." "In your statement, you say your attack on Petty Officer Berkley was provoked..." "... bya racialslur." "Isthat correct?" "Yes, sir." "Petty Officer Berkley, did you make any racial remarks to Officer Fisher?" "No, sir." "Stand at attention!" "Stand at attention." "This is the United States Navy, son." "I find you guilty." "There'll be a forfeiture of $200." "You're restricted to the ship for 45 days." "And you'll perform 45 days extra duty." "I'm reducing you from petty officer third class to ship serviceman seaman." "And I'm recommending that you be evaluated at the psychiatric clinic..." "... beforeournextunderwayperiod." "You're dismissed." "What happened?" "How'd it go?" "Same old, same old." "I gotta go to the psych clinic." "The nut house?" "Farmer, shut up." "Give it up to the shrink?" "Damn." "See you next week." "Seaman Fisher." "Right this way." "I understand this is not your first time here." "You saw Dr. Williams?" "No, he saw me." "That's your wife?" "Yes." "Have a seat." "I understand you like to fight." "It's the only way some people learn." "But you pay the price for teaching them." "You wanna talk about it?" "About what?" "Whatever's bothering you." "Why's something gotta be bothering me?" "Why?" "Because I jumped on a white boy, something must be wrong with me?" ""Send him to the psychiatrist." "Nigger tried to kill his master." "He must be crazy. "" "You looking for a discharge?" "I ain't looking for nothing." "That's where you're headed." "If I want out of the Navy, I'll just leave." "Unauthorized absence?" "If that's what the Navy calls it." "Running away how you handle problems?" "I don't have no problems." "Where you from, Fisher?" "Where'd you spend your childhood?" "Cleveland." "Parents still live there?" "I never had any parents." "They deceased?" "I never h-- I never had parents." "That would make you a medical miracle, Seaman Fisher." "Where you from?" "I'm from under a rock." "Okay." "Okay." "All right, I'm gonna see you next week." "I ain't coming back." "Why not?" "Because there's nothing wrong with me." "I agree with you there." "See you next week." "See the receptionist on your way out." "Next Wednesday, 1 400." "Walker." "Philip Walker." "That was the name of the last guy who stalked me." "I'm busted." "Yeah, you're busted." "What's up?" "Where you been?" "I'm on restriction." "Again?" "Yeah." "How did you get off the ship?" "I just came from the medic." "Why?" "Well, I'm working on this high priority paper for this commander." "What kind of paper?" "I'm not at liberty to talk about it now." "Well, I was gonna invite you to a party." "Me?" "Yeah, you." "I'm on restriction." "Yeah, you told me." "I gotta" " You know-- I'm gonna get back to the ship." "They're probably looking for me right about now, so... ." "I'll talk to you." "Damn." "See you when you're off restriction." "Yes." "Yeah, send him in." "Get your monkey hands off me, man." "I thought you may have forgotten your way, so I sent an escort team for you." "You may be able to make me come here, but you can't make me talk." "Thank you." "You're dismissed." "You don't wanna talk to me?" "Let me lay this out for you." "This is how many cases I have, okay?" "I don't have time to waste." "I get three sessions only..." "... tomakean evaland arecommendation to your commanding officer." "You know he wants to throw you out of the Navy." "You can sit here and not talk." "But our sessions don't begin..." "... untilyoubegintalkingtome ." "I got nothing to say." "Okay." "Then we'll sit until you do." "We can sit here until the day I retire." "Doesn't matter to me." "Me either." "All right." "What about the brig?" "What about it?" "Send me to the brig." "There's the brig right there." "Lock yourself up." "What do you know, time's up." "See you next week. 1 400." "Want some chips?" "What?" "I didn't say anything." "I thought you said something." "I was just clearing my throat." "Okay." "Maybe you're coming down with something." "I'm all right." "It's just... ." "Just what?" "It's just a waste of time sitting here, week after week." "Wasting time." "I don't want you to waste your time, Antwone." "So, what you want me to say?" "It's not what I want you to say..." "... it'swhatyouwannatell me." "Maybe you can start by asking me a question." "Get things going." "I can do that." "You said you come from under a rock." "What did you mean?" "I don't know." "It's the first thing that come to my mind." "What do you think it means?" "Well, it could mean..." "... thatyoufeelunderpressure..." "... thatyoufeelaweightpressingdown on you." "That you're in the dark, alone." "You said you had no parents." "I had parents." "Okay." "Only three sessions, right?" "Only three." "My father's name was Edward." "So you knew him?" "No." "I didn't even know his last name." "Do you know where he is?" "Yeah, I know where he is." "You ain 't" "He went to his ex-girlfriend's house." "They got into an argument." "She killed my father." "Where was your mother at the time?" "Behind bars." "I see." "I was born in prison two months after my father was murdered." "Why was she confined?" "I don't know." "All I know is what I told you." "So you were turned over to the state?" "Yep." "The state placed me in this orphanage." "It was supposed to be until my mother got out to claim me." "She got out but she never claimed me." "How long were you there?" "Two years." "How's that make you feel, Antwone?" "I don't know." "You must have some feelings about it." "What did it feel like?" "Rainy days." "Like rainy days?" "Okay." "Why is that?" "You know, in Cleveland..." "... itrains,notall the time..." "... buttoakid who wants to go out and play..." "... itseemslikeitrainsevery day." "But... ." "Kids expect it to rain sometimes..." "... butforonekid ,itrainedtoomuch." "Okay." "You want me to come back next week?" "Yes, I do." "You ever try to find her, your mother?" "No, sir." "Okay." "Next week." "Busy day?" "No more than usual." "These tomatoes are from our garden." "Yeah?" "They're so much better than last year." "I'm no green thumb or anything, but who knows?" "Maybe I'm learning." "These tomatoes really are good." "When I was 2, I was placed in the Tate foster home." "Reverend Tate, he was a fire-breathing preacher." "He had his own storefront church." "There was only a few members." "There was Mrs. Tate, Cousin Nadine my foster brothers:" "Keith." "Keith was half-white." "Dwight." "And me." "There was church three times on Sunday, Bible study on Tuesday  YPWW meetings on Thursday, choir rehearsal on Friday." "We learned if we caught the Holy Ghost, Mrs. Tate would give us vanilla wafers." "So we'd catch it every Sunday." "Good God!" "Come on, church!" "Celebrate!" "Reverend Tate, he didn't like Dwight at all." "He said he had too much pride." "So he tried to beat it out of him." "Sometimes he would even try to beat him to death." "Did he beat you?" "No, sir." "I think he pitied me." "I liked him for it." "But I was ashamed of him." "What about Mrs. Tate?" "What about her?" "I don't know which one of you no-good, rotten, hard-headed niggers..." "... putyourdirtyhandsonmy walls ." "But I bet I'll get the right one." "I took you in when your no-account mammies threw you away." "And this is the thanks I get?" "You ungrateful niggers." "Now I know I got the right one." "She used to brag about  beatingmeunconscious." "She threatened to do it again." "But she never did." "Why do you think she never did?" "Maybe she was scared." "She found a new way to get me, though." "So you like fire, huh?" "No, Mu-deah." "I don't like fire." "You stay away from things that don't belong to you." "You hear me?" "You hear me?" "Yes, Mu-deah." "You hear me?" "Yes." "Dumb nigger." "I tried everything I could to get her to like me." "Nothing ever worked." "Were you the youngest of the foster children?" "Dwight was the youngest." "I was in the middle, and Keith was the oldest." "Mrs. Tate used to put us against each other so much..." "... westartedhatingeachother." "But I think deep down inside, we really hated ourselves." "What do you mean?" "Keith was half-white." "She would try to compare Keith to me and Dwight." "He had the good hair, we had the bad hair." "She used to say Keith was better than us because his father was white." "I wished I was Keith." "Not even Keith could escape from being called a nigger." "She hardly used our names, she said "nigger" so often." "Called us nigger so often, we could tell who she meant by the way she said it." "What happened to Dwight and Keith?" "Dwight's in Lucasville State Penitentiary." "Keith got taken back by his mother." "He was raped by one of her boyfriends." "Did that ever happen to you?" "Hell, no." "Okay." "Was Mrs. Tate ever... ?" "Was she ever nice to you?" "Yeah, there were times." "Sometimes she would tell her friends..." "... thatweweregoodkids ." "That she was proud of us." "Chummy times." "Chummy times?" "I could tell what kind of day it was gonna be by the scent in the air when I awoke." "How could you tell?" "If I awoke to the smell..." "... ofgritsandeggsorwater steaming off pavement as she hosed it down..." "... Ihadto lookout all day ." "But if I smelled pancakes, everything was okay." "She make pancakes very often?" "No, sir." "I can delay my next appointment if you wanna talk some more." "No, sir." "Hey, Slim?" "What?" "You going home next leave?" "Yeah, gotta tend to the flock." "When I get leave, I'm gonna be like a vampire coming to town with his coffin." "A place to lay down before I get down." "What's that mean?" "Shut up." "People are trying to sleep." "Shut your grouchy ass up." "Jesus!" "When you going home, Pork Chop?" "When your mama quits tripping and sends me my money." "What about you, Fish?" "When are you going home?" "Fish?" "Fish?" "Last night I had a dream about Jesse." "Who was Jesse?" "He was my best friend." "When I wasn 't at home, I was wherever Jesse was for three reasons:" "One was, being his friend, he wouldn 't beat me up." "Jesse, look." "I got five." "The other reasons were so he wouldn 't beat me up." "I only got three." "I liked him a lot." "Give me yours." "We used to drive our friend Kenny crazy." "Let's get Kenny." "Kenny hung around me for the same reasons I hung around Jesse." "Kenny, let me see." "Where's Jesse?" "Stop!" "Stop!" "Get them out!" "Get them out!" "Kenny, what's wrong?" "Kenny, don't forget to write." "Mrs. Tate, she hated Jesse." "She hated seeing us together even more." "But she couldn 't keep us apart." "I was so happy when she kicked me out." "Twonny?" "That hoodlum nigger Jesse called here asking for you." "Said y'all are going to the picture show." "Now that's the devil's work." "Who told you you could go to the picture show anyhow?" "Where'd you get the money, nigger?" "Did you steal it?" "I told you, I've been raking lawns." "Well, you would've stole it." "Give me the money." "I said, give me your money." "You don't know what to do with no money." "That's why I never let you have none." "Why you always gotta make things difficult for me?" "Difficult." "Difficult?" "Where'd you learn such fancy words at?" "Ain't no fancy word." "Don't sassy me." "Ain't no one sassing." "Don't sassy me!" "Ain't no one sassing you." "You ain't gonna beat me no more." "No more!" "Lord Jesus." "I want you out of my house." "And who do you think will take you in, huh?" "Retarded nigger." "Don't nobody want you." "Your damn mammy didn't even want you." "Give me my shoe." "Must have felt pretty good when you took that shoe from her." "It felt like I was gonna go right upside her head." "I just chilled." "Why'd you chill?" "I don't know." "Well, I'm glad you did." "How'd you feel?" "I felt like I won a prize." "But it scared me." "Why?" "It was the first time I ever felt more powerful than her." "It was like a surprise." "What ever happened to Jesse?" "We lost touch." "You know how it is." "This may be helpful to understand the mentality of people like the Tates." "Here." "It's called The Slave Community." "Why understand somebody beating me?" "What you went through was, in part..." "... theresultof thetreatmentslaves received from their masters..." "... andpassedon to theirchildren, generation to generation." "Right on down to the Tates." "Sir, that sounds like an excuse." "I was a kid." "I understand." "Sounds like you're taking up for them." "What they did was wrong." "They made the wrong choices." "This is not about them, it's about you." "You were sent to me because you have an anger problem." "Well, you've got the right to be angry." "But you have to learn to channel that anger, to use it constructively." "Instead of getting into fights, go to the gym, hit the bag, lift weights." "You have to use that energy to better yourself." "You're taking Japanese classes, right?" "Okay, you're already on the right track." "Can we talk about this next week?" "Three sessions, son." "That's all I'm given to make a recommendation." "I'm gonna recommend that you be given a second chance." "That is what you want, isn't it?" "To stay in the Navy?" "Yes, sir." "Okay." "Okay." "Stay out of trouble." "How you doing?" "I'm cool." "You don't seem cool." "I'm all right." "You still working on that paper?" "No, I'm finished." "I went through there for a shortcut." "Where you going?" "Nowhere." "I gotta go." "Cheryl, I'll talk to you later." "Why you always talking about somebody's mama?" "We ain't talking about somebody's mama." "We're talking about your mama." "Hey, Fish." "I bet you won't be fighting no more honkies on this boat." "This ain't no boat, this a ship." "This a ship." "Country-ass Negro." "Who let you in the Navy?" "Fish, what's that book you're reading?" "Let me see the cover." "The Slave Community?" "What you reading that shit for?" "Because I want to." "This ain't no slave ship." "And these ain't no slavery days." "I can't tell." "You're the only Uncle Tom on the ship." "You're a part-time brother." "Grayson, why you always talking shit?" "What I do got nothing to do with you." "Better get out of my face." "Either you trying to hang out with the brothers or the white boys." "Make up your mind." "Sit your ass down." "What you gonna do?" "Come on, Fish." "Stop!" "Let him go!" "You're weak, Fish." "Thank you, sir." "Who's next?" "So, Dr. Davenport, sent him to the gym?" "Hit the punching bags?" "Ain't that what you're prescribing?" "So why you here?" "You feeling under pressure?" "You feel like a rock is on top of you?" "Come on, speak the hell up." "Better make it snappy, you only got three sessions coming." "What are y'all looking at?" "What you looking at?" "You feeling sick?" "Do you need a healing?" "Do you need a healing?" "Do you need a healing?" "Do you need a healing?" "Some of you sick sailors need to come back after working hours." "That's when the good Dr. Davenport will lay his hands on you." "Or he may have a book with the answers to all your questions." "Ain't that right?" "!" "Ain't that right?" "Would you like to step into my office?" "Are you finished?" "I thought I was just getting started." "It may have slipped your mind..." "... butyou'readdressing a superior officer." "You understand me?" "Do you understand me?" "Yes, sir." "I slipped up." "You better believe you did." "No, sir." "I mean I slipped up when I talked to you." "What?" "Three sessions, right?" "That's correct." "Can't flout regulations." "That's correct." "Well, what do I do, commander?" "Because I don't know what to do." "I don't know what to do." "Tired?" "How was your day?" "Long." "Not complaining, though." "Well, don't wait up." "I've got a lot of work to do." "I know." "Good night." "Good night." "It's nice to be off restriction." "Yeah, I'm gonna be squared away for a" "Want something from the Exchange?" "What's up with the Exchange?" "You spend more time there than on restriction." "Just trying to be a good shipmate." "I'm kidding." "Bring me some Skittles." "And a Snickers." "Pork skins." "And a sandwich." "Thanks." "All right." "What are you doing here, sir?" "I was in the area and saw your ship... ." "You just saw this big old ship moored alongside the pier?" "I wanna see you back in my office next Wednesday, after knockoff." "That is, if you wanna continue." "I think I need to check my calendar first." "Sir." "Okay." "You let me know, okay?" "Yes, sir." "Hey, Cheryl." "What's going on?" "Nothing." "You just getting off work?" "Yeah." "You mad?" "Why would I be mad?" "I'm sorry." "That's cool." "So you finally off restriction?" "Yeah." "So you can hang out now?" "Yeah." "So, what about now?" "I'm off." "No, I promised I'd meet somebody in a few minutes, so... ." "What's her name?" "No, it ain't like that." "What about tomorrow?" "What about the day after tomorrow?" "It's a Wednesday." "After knockoff?" "That'd be better." "Okay." "Meet me in the lobby of the female barracks at 1 700." "Okay." "I'll meet you at 1 700." "All right." "It's a date." "Are we done?" "Yes, we are." "Can I ask you a question?" "Sure." "You think it's possible for somebody who's had problems all their life..." "... nottostaythatway?" "Think it's possible they can change?" "Absolutely." "Why?" "No reason." "Want something to drink?" "No, I'm good." "Okay." "You know when you kind of meet somebody..." "... ifyouhadproblems,itwouldn't" "Who is she?" "What's her name?" "What's her name?" "Cheryl." "She works at the Exchange." "That's a good thing." "Keep it Navy." "Right?" "So?" "So... ." "Have you spoken to her yet?" "Yeah, I've spoken to her..." "... butI getcaughtup, tongue-tied." "Everybody's awkward at first." "Not like me." "Everybody is, trust me." "Even you?" "Even me." "Everybody." "So?" "We're going out tonight." "Good." "We were supposed to go out a couple days ago..." "... butI justwantedtoclearmyhead, take some time..." "... talktoyoufirst." "Okay." "So, what should I do?" "Well, she's a nice girl?" "Yeah." "Obviously you like her?" "Okay." "I think you should just go out with her." "Sometimes it helps to take the anxiety out of a future meeting to role-play." "What's that?" "You play yourself." "I'll play Cheryl." "I'll ask some questions." "We'll have a conversation." "Okay?" "You'll play Cheryl?" "Okay, now." "That's right." "I'm man enough to play Cheryl." "Okay... ." "Yougo first." "No." "I'll go first." "So... ." "How you doing?" "Fine." "Good." "Good." "So where are we gonna go?" "Out." "See." "I'm hungry." "You?" "I could eat." "See, that's good." "You got it." "You think so?" "You've got nothing to worry about." "I'm gonna give you my phone number." "If you have any questions..." "... youcancallme,  anytime of day or night." "Have fun." "Give me a call, okay?" "We're gonna be fine." "Okay." "You never know, son." "These things, sometimes they can escalate." "Escalate into what?" "My wife and I went out." "It escalated to marriage." "We're not escalating to marriage." "All right, good." "You get out of here." "Have fun." "Hey, have fun, okay?" "I will." "Okay." "See you later." "No escalating." "No escalating." "Here you go." "Thank you." "You're welcome." "What is this?" "Frappuccino." "Frappuccino?" "Yeah." "You like it?" "Six dollars?" "What do you care how much it costs?" "All the money we're making." "That's why I joined the Navy, you know?" "See the world." "Build a fortune." "I don't know what to do with all the money I got." "Okay, now tell me why you really joined the Navy." "For real?" "Yeah, for real." "All right." "Well... ." "My father's a Navy man, Vietnam vet..." "... andhisboysweregonnagrowup and join and serve just like he did." "Only one little problem." "He didn't have any boys." "So you... ?" "So I... ." "Yep." "It's worth it, you know?" "Even if I hated the Navy, which I don't..." "... it'sworthit justtoseehiseyesshine when I put on that uniform." "So you and him are close?" "Yeah, we're close." "Can't wait to go home for Thanksgiving." "You going home?" "I'm gonna go home." "I'm kind of hungry." "How about you?" "I could eat." "What?" "Nothing." "What?" "What?" "You sure?" "You should've ordered some." "I just wanted one." "These are good." "Vegetables are good for you." "Wanna try some?" "Go on, try it." "It's good." "It's got white cabbage, purple cabbage, yellow cabbage." "Nasty cabbage." "Damn." "It's not that bad." "So..." "... whatdoyouliketodo ?" "Or what do you wanna do?" "What would you like to do?" "What I'd like to do?" "I wanna teach." "Yeah?" "My mother was a teacher." "For real?" "I think teaching is a powerful position, you know?" "You get to give to kids and all that." "I think you'll make an excellent teacher." "Really?" "Thank you." "I think... ." "I think you're beautiful." "Thank you." "What?" "It's just funny... ." "I mean nice, what happens to your mouth when you smile." "One side curls up higher than the other." "Did you know that?" "No." "It's cute." "Thank you." "You shouldn't hide it, you know?" "You should smile more often." "It's good for you." "Here we are." "You had a good time?" "Yeah, I had a great time." "Thank you." "Good night." "Good night." "What is that?" "Japanese." "That meant, "It gave me a great pleasure..." "... tospendthiseveningwith you. "" "Cool." "That was beautiful." "Thank you." "So how do they say, "Maybe we can do this again some time"?" "I don't know." "Well, let me know." "I will." "Good night." "Good night." "Good night." "Hell, yeah." "I kissed her, man." "Shoot." "But I ain't getting into intimate details with you." "For real." "That's just how it is." "That's my girl." "I respect her." "And?" "Mind yours, mind yours." "God, that made me look like a pizza." "Hey." "How you doing?" "Hey." "What you doing?" "Organizing." "Organizing?" "These pile up." "You could start off by getting rid of that one." "You're gonna have to get in line." "Yeah?" "I remember that one." "Get rid of that one too." "Look at... ." "A lifetime ago." "Not to me." "Let me see this." "What?" "How long are we gonna do this?" "Are you gonna keep ignoring me?" "Come on, baby." "What are you talking about?" "I mean" "We just having a good time." "Why--?" "You're gonna act like you don't know what I'm talking about?" "I don't know what you're talking about." "You do know what I mean." "I'm hungry." "I walk in... ." "Talk to me." "Jerome?" "She kissed me." "What?" "She kissed me." "I didn't even push her." "I walked her home, threw some Japanese on her, and she kissed me." "Listen, Seaman Fisher" "I'm sorry for knocking on your door..." "... butI hadto ." "Ihad totalk toyou." "Hello." "Sorry for busting in on you." "This is highly irregular." "I don't know what to do." "We're underway to Mexico next week..." "... andI 'mgettingseriouswithher." "She'll be here when you get back." "How do you know?" "If she has a fraction of your bounce..." "... she'llbehere." "Iguarantee." "I should just chill?" "That's a good suggestion." "Okay." "I won't do this again." "Thank you very much." "Good night." "Thank you, sir." "You're welcome." "Who was that?" "A patient of mine." "He was on his first date." "He was so excited, he couldn't wait to tell me about it." "Well, don't cure him." "Show me what you're working with." "Show me what you're working with!" "I don't know about you, but if my math is right, we're a lady short at this table." "You didn't know?" "Fish just got himself a girlfriend." "She's in the Navy, right?" "He writes to her every minute he can." "Just so romantic." "I don't understand." "You understand." "I don't" "She wants to mate." "Do the dance." "Understand?" "Come." "Come." "No, I'm fine." "Let her oil the old slave down." "What your girlfriend don't know won't hurt you." "Come on, get up." "I don't want to." "You don't what?" "Leave him alone, Grayson." "He didn't answer my question." "What question?" "You don't what?" "I've never seen you with a girl." "Man says he's got a girlfriend, right?" "Well, anybody ever met her?" "Anybody?" "Don't worry about it, sweetheart." "You see, he's a cherry boy." "Never been to the sugar shack." "Too scared to go." "Fuck you, Grayson." "Huh?" "What'd you say?" "You heard me." "Fuck me?" "With all these women in here..." "... youwantme ?" "See what I mean, brothers?" "Hell, I'm worried about you, Fish." "I mean..." "... allthisactionupinhere..." "... whyyoudon'twantnowoman ?" "Yeah." "Faggot." "Here we go again." "Get off him!" "Davenport." "What time does his plane get in?" "Okay." "No, I understand." "I understand." "Okay, just let me talk to him first." "All right." "Thank you." "I thought we were all done fighting, Antwone?" "Let me in." "Your XO wired the statements of your shipmates." "Now, do you wanna start at the beginning?" "You're gonna have to talk to me, son." "You better tell me something because I'm all you got right now." "I'm trying to work things out, but you gotta give me something." "I don't know what to say." "Tell me what happened." "They were fronting me." "What do you mean?" "Some of the guys were bagging on me." "I couldn't take it." "How so?" "It's just... ." "Just making jokes." "What kind of jokes?" "Jokes about me with women." "I wasn't taking it." "What kind of jokes about you being with women, Antwone?" "Jokes like me being a virgin." "Are you?" "I don't know." "I might be." "Okay." "Why do you think you haven't been with a woman?" "Think about it, son." "There must be a reason." "You're a good-looking young man." "Must have had many opportunities." "Maybe you don't like women." "I like women." "Maybe you don't care about sex." "I care about sex." "I think about it all the time." "We're back where we started." "Then how come you've never been with a woman?" "I have." "Okay." "When?" "When?" "When I was young." "It was a kiss." "Okay." "How was it?" "I hated it." "It was terrible." "Why?" "I threw up." "Why?" "Why?" "Because... ." "Because she put her tongue in my mouth." "She always did." "That's my mama." "You said the other lady was yours." "I changed." "Boy, you can't change." "That's my mama." "Nigger?" "Nigger, you hear me calling?" "That's you." "I said, nigger." "Coming, Mu-deah." "Dwight?" "Keith?" "Yes, Mu-deah." "Here I come." "Get your behinds down here." "I told you all not to mess up your clothes." "Nadine, we're gonna be downtown at the Social Service office." "All right." "Twonny, you stay with Nadine." "Yes, Mu-deah." "Twonny, what you looking at out there?" "What you looking at?" "That's it." "Give me some sugar." "Now get on downstairs." "What did I say?" "Get on downstairs." "Get in that basement and drop them." "Hurry up." "Yeah, unbutton them all." "Come on." "I said, come on." "Pull them down." "You heard me, pull them down." "Pull them over my feet." "Now come over here close." "Closer." "You don't have to be afraid." "Now touch me." "You know you want to." "Yeah, that's it." "Kiss me." "Come on, I said, kiss me." "Baby, give me some sugar." "Antwone!" "I'm gonna tell on you." "What's up, man?" "You all right?" "Come on in." "You all right?" "She did it again?" "She hit you too?" "It's okay, Antwone." "You can stay here." "I'll look after you." "Come on, let's get you a shirt." "She made me... ." "She made me do these things." "I was only a little boy." "If there was something I wouldn't do, she would beat me." "And Jesse was the only one you ever told?" "Yes, sir." "She's the only woman I've ever seen naked." "I'm almost 25 years old." "I've never done it." "That's embarrassing." "I hate it." "Yes, can I help you with something?" "Hi, Mrs. Davenport." "I'm Seaman Fisher." "Antwone Fisher." "What can I do for you?" "I'm here to see the commander." "I'm one of his patients." "He told me to meet him here." "Well, he's not home yet." "But... ." "Well, come on inside." "You can wait." "Would you like some cider?" "Sure." "Thank you." "Seems you're getting ready for Thanksgiving, ma'am." "Don't call me "ma'am," you'll make me feel old." "Call me Berta." "Are you going home for the holidays?" "No, but the chief cook on the ship is planning a big meal." "I'll be there." "That sounds nice." "Here you go." "Thank you very much." "First thing I saw the first time I was in his office, it was you." "It was your picture." "I thought you had a nice face, a good face." "And that maybe he's all right if he married a woman like you." "You ready to get started?" "Yes, sir." "Nice meeting you." "It was very nice to meet you too." "I was just trying to be nice." "Why don't you try being nice on that ship?" "Have a seat." "I like your house." "Thank you." "Tell me about your house." "Your house the day you left your family." "Sir?" "The Tates, when they threw you out." "Tell me about that." "It was back to the orphanage." "They told me I needed to develop my social skills." "Nobody was into adopting teenage boys." "They sent me to a reform school in Pennsylvania." "That's where I got my excellent skills I have now." "What then?" "I was on my own." "A social worker took me to a men's shelter." "She gave me $67..." "... andshesaidgoodbye." "How long were you at the shelter?" "Just till the next morning." "Then?" "I slept on a few park benches and I came here." "To my house?" "No, sir." "I joined the Navy." "That's it." "That's the Antwone Fisher story." "Okay." "That is it." "You're done for the day." "Don't talk to my wife anymore either." "You hear me?" "Yes, sir." "All right." "Seaman Fisher." "Sir?" "Get up here." "What'd I do?" "Cut the jaw-jacking." "Up here right now." "I don't know what you think you're up to, but you better be careful." "I didn't do anything." "You didn't do anything?" "You didn't do anything?" "I didn't do anything." "My wife is inviting you to Thanksgiving." "She thinks you're very charming." "Do you have any idea where she might have gotten that impression?" "Huh?" "Look at me." "No, sir." "Maybe she responds to nice people." "Okay, nice people." "Thanksgiving..." "... myhouse,my family,mydinnertable ." "1 400." "Don't be late." "Yes, sir." "Get out of here." "It's nice out here." "How'd you find this place?" "It's a lighthouse, I'm a sailor." "It found me." "You knucklehead." "You come out here a lot?" "Sometimes I come out here to think..." "... ortoworkout someproblems." "I know what you mean." "Can I be honest with you?" "Yeah." "Remember when I told you that I was..." "... Iwasworkingonthat importantpaper ?" "Yeah." "Well, I lied." "I know." "You know?" "Yeah." "You're seeing a psychiatrist, aren't you?" "You knew?" "It wasn't that hard to figure out." "You trying to tell me I'm crazy?" "No." "So?" "So I understand if you don't want to be bothered no more." "You're not the only person that's seen a shrink." "Are you seeing one?" "No." "I told you, my dad's a Vietnam vet." "He has." "I guess he made it, huh?" "So why are you seeing a psychiatrist?" "My life before the Navy was kind of complicated." "I was feeling ashamed." "Of what?" "Of being unwanted." "And, uh... ." "I didn't have no parents." "You know, I was afraid to even approach you." "Would you believe that I was too shy to approach you?" "No." "Yeah." "Until I realized you were stalking me." "I wasn't stalking you." "Well, if there's anything I can do to help, I'm here." "You're doing it already." "What am I doing?" "Just being you." "Happy Thanksgiving." "Happy Thanksgiving." "Happy holidays, sir." "Happy holidays, ma'am." "I know..." "... it'sBerta." "Yeah, come on in." "Hello." "I'm Antwone." "I, uh... ." "Yeah,I'mhungry." "I could eat." "1 400, huh?" "What took you so long?" "I stopped by to get some cider, sir." "Okay, good." "Happy holidays." "Thank you." "Come on in." "We're about to say grace." "All right, everybody." "This is Antwone." "Antwone, this is my family." "That's my mother, Johnny Mae." "That's my wife's brother, Uncle Duke." "How you doing?" "That's my dad, Howard." "My sister Gwen." "How are you?" "And her full-grown daughter." "Hi, Antwone." "You wanna come and sit next to her?" "Gwen, Gwen... ." "Come on, baby." "You can come on over here and sit." "All right." "Duke, why don't you lead us in prayer." "Okay." "Everybody join hands." "Let's bow our heads." "Heavenly Father, we come to you on bent knee and body bowed..." "... ashumbleas we knowhow ." "We are grateful for this opportunity to share Thanksgiving as a family." "We thank thee for our health, Lord..." "... andforourfriends, who honor us with their presence." "We also pray for peace in the world and in our lives." "Amen." "Amen." "All right." "Let's do it." "Yeah." "There you go, Daddy." "Thank you." "Honey, you want more turkey?" "No, thank you, ma'am." "Don't you act all bashful around me." "Especially at the dinner table." "Dad, leave that boy alone." "I'm okay." "All right then, dig in." "The food is free." "Howard." "You know, when I was in the service, back in the war..." "... thatwasbeforeyou wereborn ." "Howard." "Anyway, I spent the holidays in Europe on guard duty." "I sure did miss my mama's holiday cooking." "Howard, would you leave the boy alone?" "I ain't bothering him." "Leave me alone." "Maybe he wants to eat." "I'm just talking to the boy." "Give your daddy some greens." "Listen, let me ask you something." "Where you from?" "Cleveland." "Cleveland." "Yeah?" "I bet you miss your mama's holiday cooking, don't you?" "Excuse me." "Where he going?" "I don't know." "That's what always happens." "Why are you looking at me like that?" "Why'd you do that to the boy?" "He ran the boy out of here." "I didn't run the boy out." "I was trying to talk to him." "That's why I don't bring my friends." "You okay?" "Yes." "I'm okay." "Just never had a real Thanksgiving at the Tates' before." "You didn't have a real one here either, I guess." "No, you have a real nice family." "Thank you." "I got this for you, for having me over today." "A gift for me?" "ls it money?" "No." "It's a poem." "I can't see without my glasses." "Why don't you read it for me?" "I'd rather you read it." "Please." "Who will cry for the little boy Lost and all alone" "Who will cry for the little boy Abandoned without his own" "Who will cry for the little boy He cried himself to sleep" "Who will cry for the little boy Who he never had for keeps" "Who will cry for the little boy Who walked the burning sand" "Who will cry for the little boy The boy inside the man" "Who will cry for the little boy Who knew well hurt and pain" "Who will cry for the little boy Who died and died again" "Who will cry for the little boy" "A good boy he tried to be" "Who will cry for the little boy Who cries inside of me" "Who will cry for the little boy, Antwone?" "I will." "I always do." "It's beautiful, Antwone." "I know." "I told you I was good." "Yes, you are." "You are good because you're honest." "More honest than most people, even in your anger." "The only thing you're not honest about is your need to find your own family." "Your natural family." "I don't feel like I need to look for them." "It'd answer a lot of questions for you." "I don't have any questions." "You're upset with them because they didn't come to your rescue." "Maybe they didn't know." "How could they not know?" "That's the question you need to ask them." ""Regard without ill will despite an offense. "" "That's Webster's definition of forgiveness." "Why do I have to forgive?" "To free yourself." "So that you can get on with your life." "Why do I gotta go look for my family?" "I got you, doc." "I think that he had a good time tonight." "Antwone." "I think that he had a good time, don't you?" "Yeah, it seemed like it." "He did the sweetest thing at the door when he was saying goodbye." "He invited me to come to his ceremony." "He's graduating from his Japanese class." "Yeah, I know." "He wants me to come." "To be with you." "What did you tell him?" "I told him that I would be honored, Jerome." "Okay." "Okay." "Congratulations." "Petty Officer Fisher." "Good job." "Thank you, commander." "I was waiting." "Cheryl, right?" "It's a pleasure to meet you." "Thank you." "Heard good things about you." "Where's your wife?" "She couldn't make it." "Sends along her congratulations." "A small gift for you." "Okay." "The Philosophy and Opinions of Marcus Garvey." "Thank you, sir." "You're welcome." "Is there somewhere we can talk in private?" "Do you mind?" "That's fine." "I don't mind." "Nice to meet you." "Nice to meet you, sir." "Hello?" "What's up, doc?" "How are you?" "I'm good." "Yes, you are, Antwone." "You're good." "I've heard nothing but good things from your CO." "You're getting along very well with your shipmates." "I'm proud of you." "Thank you, sir." "Have you thought any more about finding your family?" "I don't know." "For what?" "I just think that there's nothing more important than that, Antwone." "What are you trying to say, sir?" "That I'm proud of you." "That I think you've come a long way." "Okay." "You said that." "What's wrong?" "There's nothing wrong." "You understand, this is very difficult for me." "Our sessions have ended." "Now listen." "Just listen to me." "What do you mean they've ended?" "It's time for you to move on." "We're working out my problems." "We can't work them out anymore." "Listen to me" "Get off me!" "Get out." "Get out!" "Everybody's always leaving me." "People grow." "People move on." "You've grown." "It's time for you to move on." "My mother left me, my father." "Jesse." "And you." "Jesse?" "What do you mean?" "We should've never gone, that's what." "There's cow bells ringing in my-- Fucking head." "Cow bells?" "Tell me about the cow bells." "Nothing!" "Can't trust... ." "What happened to Jesse, Antwone?" "Stay away from me." "Nobody's taking anything else away from me no more." "Who is it?" "I just asked who it was at the-- Fish!" "What's up, dog?" "What's up with you, man?" "Chill." "Stop playing." "What do you mean, stop playing?" "Don't make me kick your ass, man." "What's up with you?" "What's up with you?" "Where you been at?" "Where you staying?" "What's up?" "I'm at the men's shelter." "Up on Prospect." "Where you staying at?" "For real." "I'm on the street." "What you doing on the street?" "I got nowhere to go." "You ain't got nowhere to go?" "You couldn't come to my house?" "No." "Your mom ain't gonna let me stay up in here." "You're tripping." "She ain't gotta know." "She work all day, sleep all night." "Besides, there's so many people here, she wouldn't know you were here." "You can stay here." "For real." "You got something in the refrigerator?" "Yeah, we got something... ." "You hungry?" "I'm hungry." "You hungry?" "Yeah, man." "Stop playing." "Smell like you've been on the streets too, man." "Slow down, man." "Ain't nobody gonna take your food." "Remember when Mrs. Tate wouldn't let you use her lotion?" "She made you oil up in old cooking grease." "You smelled like a fried chicken dinner." "You like:" ""I sure is hungry! " That was so funny." "Had me rolling." "Not as funny as your mother chasing you with that brick." "You remember that?" "That was funny." "I remember." "Dude, that wasn't funny." "I still got a knot on the back of my head." "You know you're my best friend, right?" "What you want?" "I can't be happy my dude back on the block?" "I can't be happy you're back home, man?" "I want you to do something for me." "What?" "Look out for me." "Is somebody after you?" "Why somebody gotta be after me?" "I just want you to look out for me." "All right." "You're my best friend, right?" "Yeah." "Stop tripping, man." "Let's get you cleaned up, hit the streets." "You know, Brenda I used to like?" "Brenda you used to like has got about three kids now." "She's all swole." "She's big." "For real, dog." "Ain't little-booty Brenda anymore." "How's your mama?" "Man, she got knocked up." "Go ahead and get something." "I got you." "Break it off, old man!" "What you doing?" "!" "This ain't no riddle!" "Ain't nothing to figure out." "Hold up, Fish." "You better break off my loot." "Look out for me, Fish." "By the end of the next day, I was in boot camp." "I always felt like Jesse was the lucky one." "I envied him for it." "How could he be lucky?" "He's dead." "Well, he left me and he knew he was the only one I had." "So you're angry at him because you felt he abandoned you?" "Yes." "A little bit." "How is he the lucky one?" "He don't have to fight no more." "Neither do you." "So you think I'll make it?" "I think you already have." "What do you think?" "I think maybe in another life or time..." "... Iwouldhavebeenking ." "When you locate your family, I want you to contact me." "All right?" "I wanna hear all about it." "Yes, sir." "I love you, son." "I love you too." "Who's this?" "Guess who." "No, this is Philip Walker, the late-night stalker." "What's up?" "I'm going on leave." "When?" "As soon as you put your request in..." "... andcomewithme." "You serious?" "Yes." "I just came back." "They're not gonna let me leave again this year." "Can you ask for emergency leave?" "Tell them somebody close to you is in desperate need." "Cheryl, I really want you to come with me." "Even got these two open tickets." "To Cleveland?" "You're gonna try and find them?" "Yeah." "I need to find them." "But not without your help." "All right." "Let me see what I can do." "First the light-skinned girls, they got adopted the quickest." "Then the light-skinned boys, then the dark-skinned girls and then, last but not least, the dark-skinned boys." "I'm sorry." "All birth records since 1 980 have been moved to Social Services." "Last contact with your mother?" "I was 2 months old." "And with father?" "Never." "Place of birth?" "Ohio State Correctional Facility for Women." "I'll be right back." "I need you to sign for me." "Best of luck, Mr. Fisher." "Thank you." "There's nothing in here." "Why don't you go see your foster mother?" "Who, Mrs. Tate?" "I'm not... ." "I'm not going back." "Why not?" "She might know something about your family." "I've never done this before." "Take a ride with me." "If you're selling shit, just keep on walking." "My God!" "ls that you, Antwone?" "Come here, baby." "Don't touch me." "Yeah, it's me." "And I'm all grown up." "I'd like to speak to Mrs. Tate." "You wanna come in?" "No." "Would you like to get her?" "Antwone's here." "Lord, have mercy." "Where's the child?" "Nigger, hug me" "Nigger... ." "Don't you know how to come home?" "Where you been?" "I came for one thing:" "Whatever you can tell me about my real family." "I don't know nothing about your people." "A name, a number, anything?" "I said, I don't know." "Now come along." "Come on." "I remember everything." "Everything." "You could have helped me, but instead you beat me." "And you?" "I don't know what you talking about?" "Yes, you do!" "I was 6!" "Now you listen" "No, you listen to me." "I think you've forgotten" "I said, listen to me." "This is my time." "You understand me?" "It don't matter..." "... whatyoutriedtodo." "You couldn't destroy me." "I'm still standing." "I'm still strong." "And I always will be." "Elkins." "Your father's name was Edward Elkins." "Take Shaker Heights and East Cleveland." "I'm gonna take Akron and Cleveland." "Yeah. 1 976." "Hello, I'm looking for the family of Edward Elkins." "Edward Elkins." "I'm looking for family of Edward Elkins." "Ma'am?" "No, Edward." "E-D-W-A-R-D." "Yes, Edward." "What?" "I'm speaking clearly, you can't--?" "Okay." "Thank you." "I'm looking for the family of an Edward Elkins." "You should have said that in the first place." "Why you... ?" "Yeah." "We're from California." "Yes, it's very nice there." "Okay." "Thank you for your help, ma'am." "Thank you." "Bye." "Any luck?" "What you got?" "Chinese." "Hello?" "Hello, ma 'am?" "I'm looking for the family of an Edward Elkins." "Edward?" "Who's this calling about Edward?" "My name is Antwone Fisher." "I'm trying to locate my family." "Honey, Edward's been dead a long time." "Yes, ma 'am, I know." "A long time." "He was my father." "Wait, wait." "Who is this calling me up out of nowhere?" "How'd you get this number?" "Out of the phone book." "I've been calling Elkins all day." "I have no reason to lie to you, ma'am." "Edward never mentioned no... ." "What's your name again?" "Antwone." "Antwone." "I don't think he knew my mother was pregnant." "She was away in prison." "You know how he died?" "Yes, ma 'am." "He was murdered by one of his girlfriends." "Oh, my God." "Wait." "What made you decide to show up 20 years later in the middle of the night?" "It's a long story." "But I'm in the Navy..." "... andI 'mstationedon theWestCoast." "I gotta get back soon." "Come by my house before you go." "Okay." "Okay, look, you have a pencil?" "Take down my address." "It's 1 089 Drexel." "1 089 Drexel." "You know where that is?" "Yes, ma'am." "Come by my house tomorrow, hear?" "Okay." "Ma 'am?" "You mind if I bring my girlfriend?" "I look forward to meeting her." "I'm sure she is too." "Listen, you know..." "... ifEdwardwasyourfather, then you're talking to your auntie, son." "You are talking to your auntie Annette, your daddy's baby sister." "I'll see you tomorrow." "I'll see you tomorrow." "Good night." "Bye." "I found them." "I found my family." "You did?" "Oh, baby." "I don't know." "What do you think?" "He does look like Eddie." "I do?" "Yeah, you look just like him." "I brought my birth certificate." "Born '76." "That's the year Edward died." "Yeah." "He died in June, and I was born in August." "And your mother's name is Eva... ?" "Eva Mae Fisher." "I know Eva." "That's Jess' sister." "Who?" "Jess." "You mean Fish?" "Yeah, Fish." "Jess Fisher." "The boy's name is Antwone Fisher." "That's Jess' sister, Eva Mae." "Mae-Mae." "She lives on Hodges Street." "I don't remember no Mae-Mae." "You know where she lives?" "You don't know her, do you?" "No, I... ." "No, no." "Do you wanna meet her?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Are you sure?" "Because we can take care of this right here and now." "Yeah, I'm sure." "Let me get my hat." "You want me to go with you?" "No, why don't you just stay here with us, baby?" "Okay, let's ride." "Bye." "You aren't gonna let nothing happen to me, are you?" "No, Antwone." "I'm not gonna let nothing happen to you." "Who is it?" "It's James Elkins, Edward's brother." "Did you hear me, Eva?" "It's James." "What you want?" "Can we come in?" "Hey, Eva." "Hey." "It's all right, son." "Come on." "Who's that, Eva?" "That's Johnny." "No..." "... that'sAntwoneQuentonFisher." "Who's Antwone Quenton Fisher, Eva?" "That's my first-born son." "There's nothing going on around here." "You wanna stay?" "I wanna stay." "I'll be in the car." "You want something to eat?" "No." "Why'd you never come for me?" "Didn't you wonder where I was?" "Or what I was doing?" "Or what I've become?" "Even if I was still alive?" "Didn't you?" "I've taken care of myself." "I have." "I've never been in trouble with the law." "I've read hundreds of books..." "... writtenpoems,paintedpictures." "I've traveled the world." "I serve my country." "I speak two languages." "And I'm working on a third." "I never fathered any children." "I've never done drugs or even smoked a cigarette." "I used to dream about you." "My mother." "My mother, you know, what you'd be like." "How you'd look." "Your voice and your smile." "Even your scent." "For all these years, I wondered about you." "I dreamed about you." "Didn't you miss me?" "On the way to school each day..." "... Iimaginedyouwere just around the next corner." "And when I'd get there, you'd be there." "And in my mind..." "... youwasalwaysthere." "You just couldn't find me." "So I'd race to the next corner..." "... andyou'dbe there." "I knew you would." "Then you would..." "... buymeicecream." "And then you would take me home." "I'm a good person." "I'm a good man." "How you doing?" "I'm your uncle Horace." "Out of the way, Horace." "Come on, baby." "Here he is." "Look at you." "I'm your aunt Eda, baby." "Me, me!" "I'm your cousin Jeanette." "Welcome home." "And I'm your aunt Anna." "How you doing, baby?" "This is my wife, T." "How you doing, good-looking?" "I'm your cousin Eddie." "I'm named after your father." "This is my brother Ray." "What's up, dog?" "I'm your cousin Jason, man." "Much love, much love." "All right, boys." "Open up." "Welcome." "All right." "Come on, let's eat!" "Hey, you want some pancakes?" "There we go." "How about some sausages?" "I'm not a virgin anymore." "I'm glad to hear that." "How you doing, son?" "I'm great, sir." "Good." "Good." "Very good to see you." "So?" "I took your advice." "I found my family." "And I found my mother." "Good." "So?" "In my heart, I forgive her." "But if I never saw her again... ." "I understand." "It's funny to feel that way about your mother." "But I did it and I owe it to you to tell you that you were right." "You owe it to me?" "Yes, sir." "I needed to find her." "If I was right, it was for all the wrong reasons." "This stays between you and me, okay?" "Yes, sir." "My wife and I were gonna have kids and found out we couldn't have any." "It rocked her to the core." "I knew what to do for her, though." "She needed help." "Treatment." "I made sure she had it." "The best psychiatrist, the one who trained me." "But I, the well one, the strong one..." "... atthesametime,Iwentabout the business of shutting down." "Very subtle, very quiet." "It was my little secret." "Until one day a young man came into my office and my life..." "... andheblewupthat littlesecret." "Right in my face." "And he put me to shame in a way I never thought possible." "Because of you, Antwone, I'm a better doctor..." "... andI 'mlearning to be a better husband." "You don't owe me anything." "I owe you." "You're the champ, son." "You've beaten everybody who was beating you." "I salute you." "You hungry, sailor?" "I could eat, sir." "Well, let's go." "Subtitles by SDI Media Group" "(ENGLISH)"