"Hey, everybody, welcome to Bull Mountain... a slice of heaven nestled in the cleavage of Alaska's high country." "It all started when a young buck named Herbert Muntz... saw the promise of a new life and staked his claim to it... the old-fashioned way..." "he stole it from the Eskimos." "Round these parts he became known as Papa." "Each year, Papa would say thank you by dropping' his britches... and blazing' down that mountain bare-assed... in one of his famous "moonshine" runs." "Papa loved to ski... and Papa loved to drink... but most of all, Papa loved to ski and drink... at the same time!" "Last year he died with his boots on..." "Bull Mountain!" "Don't go changin'!" "and not much else." "Nowadays, Papa's boy runs the mountain... but us locals still carry on the freewheelin' spirit of Papa's life." "You could say that this mountain's a lot like a woman... just when you think you know every inch of her... and you're about to dip your skis into some soft, deep powder... bam!" "You got two broke legs, cracked ribs." "Then you pay your 20 bucks just to let her punch your lift ticket all over again." "One" "Two" "Gonna get in the car with a smile and the burn" "That / put on my arm the day you went away, girl" "And / probably won't come back around again" "'m gonna drive all night through the red lights" "Flyin'over the hill to the county line blind" "Forgetting to forget that you're not mine" "Or kiss your "apoca-lips" for the last, last time" "Run away, run away,  run away again, fine" "Anytime you think" "You've changed your mind" "Anytime you want" "To jump back to me Anytime jump back to me anytime jump back to me anytime" "You come back one more time anytime jump back to me anytime jump back to me anytime" "Come back one more time anytime" "Got no time, reason or rhyme" "Not gonna stop gonna ride all night" "Got no time, reason or rhyme" " Not gonna stop gonna ride all night" "Anytime jump back to me anytime jump back to me anytime jump back to me anytime" "Come back one more time" "Kiss your "apoca-lips" for the last, last time" "Run away, run away run away again, fine" "Kiss your "apoca-lips" for the last, last time" "Run away, run away run, run, run, jump" "For the last, last time jump, go" "For the last, last time" " Bang." " News flash." " Muntz is selling the mountain." " The entire mountain?" " Yes." "Why..." "Why would he wanna get rid of this place?" "I love this place exactly the way it is." "Maybe the buyer can supply the mountain with what it really needs..." " Hot friggin' chicks!" " Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Hey, guys." "Guys, you know, more girls?" "Let's give Lance a chance, all right?" "I gotta refuel the tanks." " Hey, yo, Jenny, what's going on?" " Hey, Jenny!" " Jenny!" " Hey." " Jenny." " What's up, guys?" "What, you drinkin' without me?" " Oh!" " Hey, Lance." " Hey, girlfriend." " Whatcha drinking'?" " Whatever the lady would like, just, uh... put it on my tab." "I will have a beer, then." "And five shots of Goldschlager, please." "Rick, you are an idiot not to go for Jenny... and don't give me this "broken heart" rigmarole." "Are you sniffing me?" " There you go." " Thank you." " Thank you." " Yep." "Oh, man." "If I was her, I'd be gettin' with every dude on this mountain." " Hey, boys." " Hey." " All right." " It's on Eric." " Cheers, big ears." " Thank you, Eric." " Good lookin' out, Eric." "You're nuts." " People..." " Uh-oh." "and Pig Pen, my poor excuse for a brother." " My boy Rick here has been bitching and moaning all week long..." " I have not." "and I think it's time that we do something to cheer him up." " Don't you agree?" " Perhaps tonight is the night... that we crown this year's..." "King of the Mountain." " Did somebody just say King of the Mountain, mountain, mountain?" " King of the Mountain." "King of the Mountain." "Oh, say it." "King of the Mountain." "King of the Mountain." "King of the Mountain." "King of the Mountain." " I know you wanna defend your title." " Yeah!" " Oh, yeah." " If I must." "We're doin' King of the Mountain!" "Good evening." "You all know the rules of King of the Mountain." "Rule number one:" "You do not talk about King of the Mountain." " Ooh." " Rule number two:" " There are no rules." " Uh, what about rule number one?" "That's more of a guideline than a rule." "Do not interrupt!" " All right." " And now... the three-peat champion of King of the Mountain..." "Rick Rambis." "Richard." "Ow!" "Time to pass the title, turkey!" "Okay, here's how it works." "Everyone must have a beer." " Got a beer?" " Got a beer?" " Got a beer." "Okay, it's a race to the bottom." "The first one to the statue of Papa Muntz... with the most beer in your glass..." "Pig Pen... shall be proclaimed this year's King of the Mountain... and as an added bonus, you also win the contents of Eric's stolen wallet, which are, Luke..." " Two bucks, condom..." " Nice!" " Expiration date: 1 99 7..." " Ow!" "and a picture of his grandma..." "no, that's, uh, Nancy Reagan." " Oh!" " Nancy Reagan." " Yes!" "But most importantly, pushing, shoving and cheating are encouraged." " Whoo!" " Anthony... try not to wipe out like you did last year." "And the year before, and both years before that." " Thanks, Luke." "I really appreciate that." " No problem." " Pig Pen, if you would." " Strap 'em in." "On your marks, get set." " Everybody ready?" " Tetsuo!" " Go!" "Bunch of suckers!" " Pig Pen, you cheater!" "Not tonight, Pig Pen!" " You're the man, Anthony!" " You're running fast and missing" " Don't wipe out." " But cannot help convincing" " Don't wipe out." " Don't wipe out." "Here I go, baby!" " The reasons you gave me are all wearing thin" "t's not meant to hurt you but let me assure you" "t's not what /'ve said but intentions you've read" " So when you hold onto" " Whoa!" "Whoa, whoa!" " The past then you" " Damn!" "Damn!" " Will break down what little is left" " Damn!" " Yeah!" " /t makes no difference to me" "When you hold onto" " Whoo-hoo!" " The past then you will break down what little is left" " Yeah, there's nothing more" " Get away from my beer, Pig Pen!" "You can't ignore And say it makes no difference to me" "Stop!" "Whoa, shit!" " Whoo!" " Yeah, there's nothing more" "You can't ignore /t makes no difference to me" " /t makes no difference to me" " Ride 'em, cowboy!" " Oh!" " /t makes no difference to me" " Move it!" "t makes no difference" " Hey, Pig Pen!" " Yeah, there's nothing more" "You can't ignore And say it makes no difference to me" "Don't let him pass!" "Don't let him pass!" "We got him, Jenny!" " /t makes no difference" " Go, go, go, go, go!" "Come on!" "We're gonna beat him!" "t makes no difference to me" "Where did he come from?" " Whoo!" " Yeah." "Come on." "His mug's empty." "His mug's empty." " Whoa." "Your beer." " I got beer." "I got beer." "I got..." "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." " Oh!" "Come on!" " No way!" "No way!" "Time to kiss up to the king now." "Kiss up to me now." " Goin' to drink, everybody!" " Well, actually, I have to turn in." "I have to give Mr Mays a snowboard lesson in the morning." "Yeah, I got, uh, fag practice in the morning." "So I understand." " Walk me home, Your Highness." " Oh!" " All right!" " ¡Ay!" "¡Ay!" " Ohhh." " Ohhh." " Ohhh." "Whoo!" "Hey-hey!" "Hey, no, guys, stop!" "Stop it!" "If you're planning on coming up with some lame-ass excuse... to get into my house just so we can "hook up"..." "I might let you." "Not that you're being particularly charming or anything." "I guess it's the moonlight and a bottle of Goldschlager that just brings out the romance in a girl." " Can I ask you something?" " Yeah." "You broke up with your boyfriend this summer, right?" " Yeah." " Well..." "Are we about to have another conversation about how you're still on the rebound?" " I guess not." " Look, Rick, I feel for you 'cause I've been through it... but it's time to move on." "Okay, the general rule of thumb is one week of mourning for every six months you were together." "So, you were together, what, two weeks?" "Three weeks." "Oh, okay." "Three weeks." "So then that means..." "I get it." "I get it." "You're right." " It's stupid." " Yes, it is." "So, still wanna hook up?" "You're gonna have to try a lot harder than that, Rick." "So, you still wanna hook up?" " How's that, huh?" " Goodnight." "Goodnight." " See ya tomorrow." " Later." "Oh, hey, listen, uh, you better enjoy your reign as king now... because next year, Queen of the Mountain, baby." "We'll see about that." "Passed out again." "Fire!" "Well, boys, what's it gonna be tonight?" "We gonna shave his eyebrows?" "Passé." "Done that, took pictures." "I'm gonna need a bucket, a paintbrush and ten pounds of salt." "Lance, get his pants." " Where you taking this guy?" " Come on!" "Let's drop his fat ass." "Get him." "Oh!" "Ow!" "Shoo." "Shoo!" "Get!" "Shoo." "Good boy." "I mean, girl." "Good girl." "Good girl." "Yeah." "Fu..." "Ow, my ass is numb." "Look alive, Eric." "John Majors." "Ted Muntz." "It's so good to finally meet you in person." "Welcome to Bull Mountain." "You know, the Eskimos around here have a saying:" "Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-Whoa, whoa, whoa." "Slow down there, Nanook." "You're gonna give yourself an aneurysm." "Oh, you smell that, boys?" "Smells like money." "Oh, this place has got some serious potential." "Oh, yeah, I can see it now, huh?" "Can you see it?" "Huh?" "Condominiums, eateries, shopping... wine bars, cigar bars..." "what the hell, bar bars." "Yeah, we can... we can totally sell this... this whole rustic bit." "Oh, yeah." "This is a diamond in the rough." "Ooh, that's good." "Write that down for the brochure." "Now, wait, wait." "Better yet." ""Black diamond in the rough."" "You know, sort of a ski thing." " I'm Eric, by the way." " Yeah, well, who asked you?" "Ah, just kiddin', short stack." " It's, uh, some mountain, huh?" " Yeah, but the name." "Bull Mountain." "It's, uh..." "It's a little too... shitty." "Y-You wanna rename the mountain?" "Yeah, somethin' good." "I'm gonna have to polish this turd if I'm gonna sell my investors on it." "I mean, your hotel looks like a Motel 6 ate a yard sale and barfed it out." "Hey, Muntz, there's some really pissed off Eskimos outside right now, man." " They say they want their land back." " Very funny, Rambis." "Mr Majors, this is Rick Rambis, one of our low-to-mid-level employees." " You must be the big hotshot who's gonna buy the mountain." " John Majors of Major Resorts." "Rick Rambis of, uh, Rick Rambis." "You any good on that board there, son?" " I'm all right." " You wouldn't mind playin' tour guide... to an old fart like me, would ya?" "Actually, Rick's got a pretty heavy workload tomorrow... but I would be delighted to show you around the mountain." "No offence, short stack, but you give me the creeps." "I think Rick here will do just fine." " You don't mind, do ya, Rick?" " No problem." "Good." "First thing in the morning." "I'll take a Geritol so I can keep up." "Hey, chop-chop with them bags there." " So what does this mean, selling the mountain?" " I don't know." "Maybe this guy will be cool." "You know, maybe he'll help us build a lift up to Hangman's Peak." " Can you get an STD from a polar bear?" " What is your brother doing?" "Pig Pen!" "Pig Pen!" " What do we got, Whitey?" " Solid Gold Dancers trapped on Beaver Mountain!" "Somebody, help us!" " Looks pretty hairy, sir." " Just the way I like it!" "Lock 'em and load 'em, boys!" "I'm goin' in!" "Whoo!" " What are we gonna do?" " Ya-hoo!" "Whoo!" "Yeah!" "Wa-hoo!" "Ha-ha-hoo!" " My stomach is freezing." " We're saved" "Good morning, ladies." "The name's Pen." " Pig Pen." " Oh, he's so sexy." "I need everybody to be calm and take your tops off." "And tie them together." "Now!" "Move!" "I've no time to discuss this!" "Wicked!" "You." "Grab me around my waist." "Lower." "Nice." "You, the door." "Get the door." " Ooh." " Faster, faster." " Oh, it's stuck." "Just jiggle it." "It's gonna be okay, ladies." "Jiggle more." "You have to jiggle the handle." "Jiggle it." "Jiggle it!" "Jiggle it!" " Jiggle it." " Open the door, Pig Pen." " Oh, yes." " Open the door." "Come on, man." " Jiggle it." " Open the door, open the door, open the door." "Pig Pen!" " Pig Pen!" " Jiggle it." " I'm coming." " Oh, he's had a crush on that bench for a long time." "Did you enjoy your nap?" "By the way, you know that hope will make you strange" "Make you blink, make you blank make you sink" "t will make you afraid of change enough to play..." "So, Rick, did you hit it last night, or what?" "Nah, man, we just talked." "God." "You know, maybe we should clarify something." "When you won the race last night, that made you King of the Mountain... not king of the no-ball, pussy losers." "They already have their own king." "My brother." "What?" "Are you still hung up on Anna?" "Here's what I don't get, all right, is you met this chick..." " And you got freaky-deaky with her..." " Hey." "and then, poof, she disappears." "How's there a problem with that?" "Pig Pen, when I want advice about a good Planet of the Apes film... or maybe how to get the resin out of my bong, I'll come to you, okay?" " Okay." " But I am not gonna take romantic advice... from somebody who cannot spell "romantic" or "advice."" " Or "bong."" " Listen, man." "I just wanna hear the story, that's all." "I mean, you've never even told me it, not even once." "Well, if I tell you, will you promise to shut up about it?" "No." "Okay." "Well, I met her at the most beautiful... romantic place on Earth:" "Cancún, Mexico." "There was this little cantina called Pedro O'Horny's." "Me and Luke, see, we had just shown up, and I saw her." "From the moment we caught eyes, I knew she wasn't like the other girls there." " When you're on a holiday" " She was French, she had her top on..." " Plus she wasn't puking." " Drink, drink, drink!" "Drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink!" "Drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink!" "Yeah!" "And / wanna feel it too" "On an island in the sun" "We spent every day together for three weeks." "It was like heaven, but you couldn't drink the water." "And then one day she asked me to go on one of them tandem bike rides..." " / can't control my brain" " But she never showed up." " Hip hip" " I never saw Anna again." " Who?" " God, dumb..." " Ow!" " Hey!" " Pig Pen!" " Guys." " A little sensitivity here!" "God!" "Can't you see this is a dejected man?" "Well, Rick get your dejected head out of your ass." "Papa Muntz wanted you to run this mountain." "Yeah." "Carpe the diem!" "Seize the carp." " "Seize the carp"?" " What?" "Ow!" "Make sure you bundle up, 'cause it is freezing' out there, okay?" "Hey, Toby." "Let me check your boots." " You're good now." " Thanks, Jenny." " You're welcome." "Hey, Jenny, um, do you think you could tie up my boots?" "Stewart, I-I think you can do up your own boots." "Well, you know, I kinda like the way you do it." " Okay, how 'bout I do up one and you do the other?" " Cool." " The rabbit and the moose was fast..." " Jenny, Jenny, Jenny." " I can do without the song, you know?" " I kinda like the song, Stewart." " What's up, Rick?" " What's up, dude?" "Get outta here." "You're welcome." "You're pretty good with these kids, Jenny." " Yeah?" "I seem to have a thing for immature boys." " Ouch." "At least Stewart has his act together enough to ask me out." "I think we're checking out a movie right after his nap time." "Yes." "Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about." "Would you, um..." " Would I..." " Would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow night?" "I'm sorry." "It sounded like you were askin' me out on a date." "We could meet at the inn." "Say 8:00?" " Yes." " Right now I have to go seize the carp." " Wish me luck." " I'll see you there." " Mornin', Mr Majors." " Oh, please, please." "My daddy was Mr Majors." "Actually, he was Mr Mankowitz." "Just call me John." "Okay, John." "Well, where do you wanna start?" " Most people can't do the whole mountain in one day." " Yeah, well, I ain't most people." "You try and keep up there, hotshot." "Hey, Pig Pen." "You ever been on one of those lesbian chat rooms?" " Are they good?" " I don't know." " No." "See that up there?" "That's Hangman's Peak." " Damn." "You ski that?" " Yeah." "It's awesome." "But, as you can tell, it's almost impossible to hike." "I think that if we put a lift to the top, it would be the most popular snowboard park in the entire country." "Well, you know, Rick, what I'll do is I'll think on that, uh, 'cause I like your style." " And I might need a little help." " Yeah?" " What for?" " Well, my investors are comin' to check this place out... and, uh, well, they spook easily." "You know, if this deal's gonna go through, this whole town's gonna have to play ball." "I don't think Muntz has the pull around here to do that... but, uh, you do." " Can you hear me?" " I don't know." "Hopefully..." "Okay." "As most of you have heard,  uh, by next week..." "Bull Mountain will have new management." "I'm selling it for lots and lots of American dollars... to your future boss, Mr John Majors!" "Thank you, thank you, thank you." "Thank you and good morning." "I can't tell you how happy and excited I am to be here today." "Now, I know we're all gonna be homies... but I do believe in the golden rule... and that is, "He who has the gold card makes the rules."" "Pipe down, retard." "And to publicize my purchase of the mountain..." "I've invited my board members..." "that's the board of directors... and my investors here for the anniversary festival." "And as my employees, you're expected to behave in a manner consistent with a world-class resort." "Any questions you might have will be answered in your new rule book... which numbnuts here is gonna pass out." " I think that's you." " And I have a super-duper surprise for all of you." "A brand new, streamlined, top-of-the-line... high-performance uniform!" "Don't sweat havin' to pay for them." "We'll just deduct the cost from your first paycheck." "Welcome to the Major Resort family!" "There's no business like snow business!" "I told you." "You..." "You look great." "Well, yeah, it doesn't really allow my dice to roll down there, and by "dice" I mean testicles." " Speaking of testicles, let me get a beer." " The suits are not that bad, guys." "Rick, these scuba outfits make us look ridiculous." "Who does this Majors asshole think he is?" "I'm not gonna wear this unitard, period." "Guys, I love Bull Mountain as much as anyone else... but a little change, you know, it's not gonna hurt this place." "I don't know, Rick." "I mean, wh-why would we even want this place to change?" " We don't want it to turn into Aspen." " Yeah, but have you seen the women from Aspen?" "I..." "No." "I mean, other than the occasional girl who comes here on the weekend trip, this place is a sausage factory." "There are gonna be some hotties, some slammin' bods with... pants so tight it looks like they're painted on." "Man, I love chicks." "Chicks love me, so it's all good." "Calm down, Lance." "Look, Muntz is gonna sell this mountain, and somebody's gonna buy it anyway." "You have $ 1 00 million?" "I don't." "You?" "No, we're not models." "Guys, look." "All I'm sayin' is that, if we play ball, the mountain will still be ours." "Oh, you foolish, foolish boys." "This is how it all starts." "I seen it all before." "I was there." "I was there." "Yeah, it was called the '80s." "Ford was president, Nixon was in the White House... and FDR was runnin' this country into the ground." "I was bummin' in a hole-in-the-wall town... in what is now called Utah." "Some fella from Colorado shows up, starts makin' so-called improvements." "Right?" " Before we knew what hit us, the streets were runnin' with latte!" " No!" "Yup." "It got so bad that a fella that liked to... you know, smoke a little grass... or drink a little Ripple, crow like a rooster... maybe challenge the mayor's son to a gentlemen's duel... was uncouth, against God... more like bad for real estate values." "Stumpy had to go!" "Richard... be careful what you wish for." " You got it, Stump." " Be careful what you wish for." " I will." " All right?" " God!" "I'm good." "Better put somethin' on that." "Welcome to our local cantina." " I like to stop in and have..." " Stumpy's right." "We can't let them do that to this place." " You know, women or no women, we've gotta stand up..." " Yes." "and I need to stop talking for a second." "Holy sh..." "Hey, Rick." "Get your butt over here." "No, you know, you guys are right." "This guy's really bad for business." "I'm gonna go let him know." "No, no..." "Rick, this is my stepdaughter Inga." "Hello there." "Rick, I'd like you and retard to show me the kitchen." "Sweetheart, I got a little work to do." "Buy yourself a drink at the bar." "I won't be long." " Nice space." "When's his lease up?" " Oh, whenever I say it is." "Oh, good." "Hey, boys, look good in those uniforms." " Mr Majors." " Yeah, the Brick!" "Sweet Jesus!" "Okay, you can stop staring about now." "Ya-hoo!" "Whoo!" "Whoo!" "Oh!" " Boys, watch confidence at work." " Be strong." "Oh, God, here she comes." "You, uh, with the..." "What my friend's tryin' to say is welcome to the El Matador... which is Spanish for "the matador."" " Want a drinky-poo?" " I was wondering if you can make a kind of drink." "It's called..." "Oh, what is the word in English for this?" " Horny-maker." " Lance, how 'bout a beer?" " One Fuzzy Navel for the lady." " Mm." "Danke." "So you're, uh, like Majors's daughter?" " Nein." "Stepdaughter." " Oh." "I'm supposed to my stepsister be meeting here." "One more Fuzzy Navel for the lady." " Skol!" " Skol!" " Skol!" "Hi." " Luke?" " My stepsister." " It's Anna." " Luke!" " Who?" " Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God!" " Oh, my God." " How are you?" " I'm fine." " It's been a long time." " Yeah." " What are you doing here?" " I was havin' a beer." " In Alaska?" " I-I-I..." "Well, I like cold beer, yeah." " Does that mean..." "Uh, is Rick around?" "Um, no." "You didn't hear?" "Uh..." "Rick perished... in a dog sled accident." " Four-dog sled pileup." " Uh-huh." " And it's... it's... it's awful." "The dogs survived." " You used to be a much better liar." "Anna, I don't know why you're here, but leave him alone." "Okay?" " Play it once, for old times' sake." " Play what once?" "Well, the song." " The..." "Oh, oh, song." " Please, play it." "Oh, okay." "Well, I think I got, uh..." "All right." " like big butts and / cannot lie" "You other brothers can't deny" " That when a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist" " Oh, that's not it?" " No." "That's not it." "Very nice, though." "And a round thing in your face..." " Sure that's not it?" " Please." "You know what song I'm talking about." " I don't know if I can play the song." " Please." " I, uh, da-da-da-da-da." "I, uh..." " Please, play it." "Come on." " No." "Oh, uh..." "Okay." "Oh, he's gonna kill me." " Thank you." " Hip hip" "Luke, I thought I told you to never play that..." "Hip hip" " When you're on a holiday" " Song." "Hey, Anna." "You made it." " Come here, kid." "Give me a hug." " Hi." "Ohh." "Oh, sweetheart, this is Muntz." " Hi." " And this bright young man is..." " Yeah, we've met." " Hello, Rick." " Hi, Anna." " Uh..." "Majors is your father?" "Yes." "He likes to say he's Napoleon working his way across Europe." "His first wife was English, my mother was French and Inga's mother was Swiss." "And I just hired a Russian girl trainer." "Look out." "Hey, girls, it's bedtime." "We got a long day ahead of us tomorrow." "Come on, Inga." " Coming, Father." " Retard, walk me out, huh?" "I didn't know you were here, Rick." "I'm..." "I'm really sorry." " Anna." " I really have to go, but... just a place to call your own" "As we drift into the zone" "Of all the bars in all the ski towns in Alaska..." " Why'd she have to come to this one?" " We'll be playing and having fun" " Thanks." "And it makes me feel so..." "Here you go, Jenny." "Enjoy it." " know she knows it's not right" "There ain't no use in lying" "Maybe she thinks / know something" "Maybe, maybe she thinks it's fine" "I don't think he's coming, Jenny." "Or maybe she knows something / don't" "'m so, /'m so tired" "'m so tired of trying" " We'll put him in Rick's car." " You got him, Lance?" " Uh-huh, I got him." " Come on." " Okay, go." "Get him in." "Get him in here." " All right, that's it." " Are you sure this is a good idea?" " Might give him a heart attack." " As the inheritor of his estate..." "I take full legal responsibility." " Come on." "Okay, everybody." " Come on." " Okay, come on." "Let's go." " One, two, three." "Pitter-patter, let's "skeedadder." Spin him." "One, two, three." " Oh, my God!" " Oh, God!" "Help!" "Help!" "I got it!" "I got it!" "I got it!" "I got it!" "I got it!" "I got it!" "It's stopping!" "It's stopping!" " Oh, my God!" " Lukey!" " What's wrong with you?" " Oh, God." " Oh, help us, Lord." " Shit." "Oh." "Oh." "All right!" "Whoo!" "This is what you're gonna do to Bull Mountain, huh?" "No, no, no, no." "Snownook." " "Snownook"?" " Yeah, that's the name my people say tested the best." " Did I ever tell you how I invented snowboarding?" " Oh, yeah?" " Da-na!" " Hey, Pig Pen." " 'Cause / got your number" " That's a hot tub, Pig Pen." " Wicked." " Hey there." "'m the king of all of the world" " King of all of the world" " I don't want credit for it... but they keep givin' it to me." "f / wander out" "Of a picture window" " Oh, write below my name" " She's gonna kill me." " There goes the king of all of the world" " Hey, retard." "There's gonna be a lot more changes goin' on here." " Come on, boys." "You're workin' on my time now." " King of all of the world" "Wait." "Hold up." "I can explain." " I can explain everything." " Relax." "I stopped by the bar last night." "Pig Pen told me." "Look, I'm really, really sorry about that." "I will make it up to you any way that I can." "Y-You don't have to leave." "Don't flatter yourself." "I'm doing my laundry." "Oh." "Uh, so that means you're not mad at me?" "Oh, yeah, I am." "I'll get over it, though." "Well, look, I really am sorry." "Look, I don't do this pining thing well, so... why don't you figure out what the hell it is you want and let me know." "Welcome, girlfriend." "Ooh, /'m falling" "'m falling in love with you" "Falling in love with you" "Yeah" "Falling in love" "Buy you a beer?" "I'm good." "Look, I'd like to apologize, if you'll let me." "There's things about me you don't know, Rick." " Now, there's something I have to tell you." " You know what?" "Hold that thought." "I don't even care any more." "Cheers." "Yeah!" "Wow!" "Yeah!" "Hey, you're dribbling." "Watch the shoes." "Sorry." "Oh, hello, Ping-Pong." "Oh, I'm hot." " You wanna see my piece?" " What?" "Well, see, I just started training for the biathlon." " Where's Inga goin'?" " Anthony." "Don't you worry, little brother." "I got your back on this one." "I'm gonna do her." "What..." "How does that help me?" "Whoo." "What do you know, huh?" "Just the two of us." " I gotta train." " Wow." " Uh-huh?" "Yeah?" " Yeah." "Inga, I love you!" "Oh, my God!" " Are you hurt?" " Uh, yeah." "I think so." "Anthony, is that you?" "Can you go get some ice from the bar?" "This is Alaska." "You're sittin' on ice, little leprechaun." " Ohhh." " Yes, go, Anthony." "I will wait here with him." "Damn him!" "Man, he always does this." " Tell Inga where it hurts." " Everywhere." ""Duck"?" "Come in." "Come in." " Make yourself at home." "Just don't hit me any more in my nuts." " Sorry." "Oh, my God." " This is good?" " Oh, yes, this is very, very good." "Tell me, where did you get these scars?" " Well, let's see." " Oh!" "Skateboard... truck accident... and a fire hydrant." "I bet each one has its own exciting story." "No?" "No, not really." "I skateboarded off a truck into a fire hydrant." "I never met an American boy before." "Are you all so wild?" "Yeah." "We have a saying around here." " Oh, yeah?" " Yeah, "No brains, no headache."" " We have saying in Switzerland too." " Yeah?" "No swimsuit... no tan lines." "We have another saying around here." " Uh-huh, what's that?" " I don't know." "I didn't mean to leave you like that in Mexico." "I'm sorry." "I just..." "Believe me, I had to." "Why?" "Some other guy come sweep you off your feet?" " You were the other guy." " I don't understand." "I'm engaged." "I was engaged when I met you." "And I love him, Rick." "I really do." "And when I met you..." "I don't know." "I just..." "I fell in love with you, too, I guess." "I didn't know what to do." "Ay!" "It's no problem." "Don't worry about it." "You know, I had, like, ten other engaged chicks fall for me that week, too, so I barely even..." " Which one were you, the brunette?" " Please, I wanted to say goodbye to you and tell you everything... but when the time came to do it..." "I didn't think I'd be able to, so I left." "But I really did fall for you." "That's why I left." "Well, there." "I said what I had to say, so, uh, I'm going now." "W-Wait." "Look." "I'm sorry too, okay?" "For being a prick." "You know, it's just that I was a little, you know, bummed out." "I deserved it." "It's okay." "You did." " You want some coffee or something?" " That would be really nice." "Yeah!" "Ooh, yeah!" "All this making up is a lot of fun." "But I'm ready." "How do..." "How do you say to schlafenszeit?" "Oh, yeah, schlafenszeit." "Anything you say." "No, no, no." "Wh-What are you doing?" "Schlafenszeit." "Sleepy time." " I'm going to bed now." " Oh, no, no, no, no, no." " I'm sleepy." " Oh, no, no, stay." "We'll cuddle." "We'll cuddle." "We'll cuddle." "Goodnight." "Ooh, /'m falling" "'m falling in love" "With you" "So, uh..." " Your fiancé." " Barry." "He's, uh, in medical school." "He's flying up in a couple of days to see me." "Well, that's gonna be a little tricky, unless he's a pilot too." "He's a pilot too." "He's a doctor and a pilot." "Yeah." "I think I wanna have sex with this guy." "I have to go now." " Yeah." "Let me show you out." " Okay." "I just, um..." "I want you to know that I am happy for you." "And this Barry guy is, is lucky." "Thank you." "Goodnight." "What would you think of me now" " So lucky, so strong, so proud" " Go." " Yeah." "Bye." " never said thank you for that" "Now /'ll never have a chance" "May angels lead you in" "May angels lead you in" "Hey." "Oh, my God." "You need..." "You need help, don't you?" "Uh, j-just a sec." "How's the hot tub, Luke?" "You know, the Eskimo have nine words for a helmet stuck in a hot tub." "Hell, they only got eight words for snow." "There we go." "Yeah." "Oh, yeah!" "Yeah." "Physics, really." "Expansion and contraction." "Oh." "All right." "Right here." "One, two... three." "Yeah!" "Whoo!" "Was it worth it?" " Rough night?" " I've had worse." "Thanks." "Anna's getting married... to some rich, asswipe doctor dude named Barry." " He's coming in day after tomorrow." " Ouch!" " Thanks, man." " No, I got molested by a hot tub last night." " It's a long story." " Oh." "You know what I really hate about this chick is that I..." "I think..." "I know that I'm in love with her, and it sucks." " Well, have you told her this?" " No, not really." "Well, listen, you've got to." "And you gotta do it before it's too late... before she becomes Mrs Doctor Asswipe." "Otherwise, you're gonna regret it your whole life." "No regrets:" "that's my motto." "That and "Everybody Wang Chung tonight."" "You know what?" "You're right." "You are absolutely right." "I'm not gonna let Anna get away again." "When this Barry guy gets here, I'm gonna have to face him." "And I'm gonna look at him, I'm gonna tell him like a sensible, mature adult..." ""Finders keepers, losers weepers, pal."" " I'll have to work on that one, but..." " And if he doesn't like it... we'll kick his ass." "Definitely." "Attention, all guests." "Where's Jenny?" " Come on." "You're going back in line." " I don't wanna go." "Hey, fellas." "Great day, isn't it?" "Man, who the hell are you?" "I'm the new Team Snownook patrol leader." "Keepin' it real, while keepin' it safe." "You on the roof,  knock off the grab-ass." " What the hell is going on here?" " Don't you eyeball me!" "Hey, Luke, why don't you mind your own beeswax... before my fist makes an appointment with your ass?" "Eric, have you ever noticed that you're always talking about putting something up my ass?" "And that time it wasn't even a threat." " Technically, that was flirting." " Hey, grab them for me." "Wait a second." "Wait a second." "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" "Where you going with the bull?" "Eric." "Eric!" "Talk to the horn." "Where are you taking the bull?" "Listen." "I have had it with these jackass employees of yours." "This morning there was a boy with his little Elvis stuck in my hot tub." " Now, how in the hell does that happen?" " Well, the jets can feel quite nice..." "Stop talking." "Effective immediately..." "I'm taking some steps to clean this place up." "Poured out a perfectly good beer." "And that Czech guy over here decides..." "Mm, I love that smell." "That's the smell of you all getting fired." " What?" " Fired?" "What?" "Welcome to your first random drug test." " I'll need you to fill these cups." " Go make tinkle, or it's your job." "I don't have to write a test to tell you that I take drugs." "Pig Pen, you go to the bathroom in the cup." "Okay!" "Jeez!" "You are way too into this." "Drink up, half-pint." "Pig Pen, I will have your ass!" " How you doing?" " That's all right." " Thanks a lot." "Ladies, how you doing?" "Ladies!" "Ladies!" " Whoa." "Private party tonight, guys." " We're cool, man." " We're regulars here." "Just ask Lance." " Yeah." "What part of"private party" did you miss?" "Everybody have fun tonight" "Hey there, Rick." "Nice monkey suit." "Wow." "I barely even recognize this place." " Yeah, a little facelift." " Can I get a beer?" "Hey, Village Person, why don't you be a macho man and cut me some limes, huh?" " Hello, stranger." " You clean up pretty nice, Rambis." "Thank you." "Wow." "You look amazing." "Thank you." "Would you like to dance?" "Sure." "You're not wearing underwear." "You can't with this dress." "Well, your excuse is better than mine." "Hey, hey sweetheart, I need to borrow Fred Astaire here for one hot minute." " Dance with Tito there." "He loves to boogie." "Hi, boys." " Hi, John." "And then I just sneaked in." "I was like... / can give you anything" "Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no." "What did they do to the bar?" "How did..." "How did you guys get in?" " The back door was unlocked." " Oh." "There's gonna be some big changes on the mountain once I get in the driver's seat... but I-I wanted you to know that, uh, well..." "I want you to stay on and..." "to run the day-to-day operations... and be the new manager of Snownook." " You serious?" " Of course I'm serious." "Here's your contract." "Take a gander." "Wow." "That's a..." "That's a big number." "Not bad." "But as a new manager, all my friends get to stay on board, right?" "You drive a hard bargain, son, but, uh, done deal." " Thanks, John." " Oh, don't thank me." "You deserve it." "Welcome to the team, partner." "Oh, you are good." " No, wait!" " You're messing with the wrong..." "I'm gonna take kung fu and kick your friggin' ass." "We'll have the party at our place." "We don't need their fancy-schmancy shit and their blue ropes." "What's up, man?" "What's, uh, what's going on here?" "If you ain't on the list, there's nothing I can do for you, buddy." " Ladies, how you doing?" "Hi." "I'm good." "How you doing?" " Hi." "How are you?" " Mind if we join you?" " Oh, not at all." "Go in." "Have fun." "I'm liking that." "Come on, man." "Gimme a break." "What's up?" " Are you from around here?" " No." "Okay, then $40." "All the locals in free." "Everybody in free." "Come on." "Like this boy now you just can't miss" "Smokin'cheap cigars and drinkin'beer like piss Well, /'m not me" " Yeah, let me get some of that." " Yeah." "You're not me and you're not free james Brown don't move like that You got to step and twist" "Me gusta." "Cheers." " get it, it's funny You know /'m makin'money" "Oh, ladies, you're missin' out." "Cool like the Easter bunny You get it, /'m on it" "Say hello to the new manager of the mountain." "You straight?" "Hey, everybody." "Hey, cut the music off." "Pig Pen, put her down." "Put her down." "Our friend, little Rick Rambis, is the new manager of the mountain, y'all." "And you're all fired!" "Everyone of you." "You're fired!" "Oh, does this mean I have to kiss your ass now?" " As long as you shave." " Shave what?" " My ass!" " Hey, boss..." "I'm gonna call in sick tomorrow, okay?" " No." " Okay." " Hey, congratulations, boss." " Thank you." "Oh, I'd watch your hand, mister." "I could sue you for sexual harassment now." "I'm gonna get you." "Hey, look." "Just because I'm your boss... doesn't mean things change between us, okay?" "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" " She has a fiancé, Rick." " I know." "Look." "Your personal life is none of my business, but I don't wanna make a habit... out of being your little shoulder to cry on, okay?" "Look." "I know." "I was just..." "I wanna..." "Yeah, go." "Go!" "Yes." "Get outta here." "Go." "Till the break of dawn Baby, got it goin'on" "A lot of simps won't like this song" " Hi, Inga." "Can I talk to you?" " Hi." "'Cause /'m long and /'m strong and /'m down to get the friction on" " So, ladies, ladies" " Yeah" "What I have to say isn't really gonna take that much time." "I've been practising." "Anna, I love you." " Rick, don't." " Look." "I'm not gonna lose you again." "Not to Barry." "Not to anybody." "I wanna fight for you, and I-I think... that you should tell Barry that things are over between you two." "You're really not making my life easy." " You know that?" " I'm not an easy guy." "Hey, yeah, there you are." "Come inside." "You look so beautiful tonight, I wanted to see if you wanted to dance." "Come on." "Not you." "Him in his white tuxedo." "'m long and /'m strong and /'m down to get the friction on" " So, ladies, ladies" " Yeah, yeah" " Do you wanna roll in my Mercedes" " Yeah" "Then turn around, stick it out even white boys got to shout" "Baby got back" "Baby got back" "Doesn't really know" "'m all out of love /'m so lost without you" " know you were right believing for so long" "'m all out of love What am / without you" " can't be too late to say that / was so wrong" "These things /'ve found" "This love inside" "These things are goin'right" "These days, these nights" "These things almost make me smile" " These things almost make me smile" " Oh, no, you didn't!" "These things almost make me smile" "These words this time" "These things /'ve found" "Ah, yeah." "Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful." "Why, those dirty little bastards." "Oh, I know it sucks that they're ruining a town and everything... but this is the best vanilla latte I have ever had in my entire life." "I mean, you can actually taste the vanilla beans that these..." "I don't like the coffee." "Rick, check it." "The doctor is in." "It's show time, baby." "Come on." "So, you girls like Porsches?" "Later." "Let's kick his ass!" "No, let's handle ourselves like adults." "Be mature about this." "Adults kick other adults' asses all the time." " Rick, this is Barry." " What's up, Rick?" "Hey, guys." "Just give me a second here." "Yeah, I'm having second thoughts about kicking this guy's ass." "Oh, God!" "First floor, Alaska." "What's up, guys?" "It's great to finally meet you." "Anna has told me a lot about you." "Uh, who's the Jacuzzi Casanova?" "That's him right there." "Yeah, they call him that 'cause he had himself up in it, you know." "Lovin' it strong." "Thank you, Stumpy." " No problem." " Take these twice a day... and you will be back at the plate in no time." " Oh." "Will these make it bigger?" " Oh, that'd be nice." "So are you, like, a crippled guy?" "No, I'm just a really lazy guy." "Yeah, it happened at the X Games a couple of years ago." "Piled into a fence." "Pretty messy." "They show the clip on ESPN all the time in the intro for Sports Bloopers." " Oh, yes." " Yes!" " You're that dude?" " I'm that dude." "It's a pleasure to meet you." "I wipe out all the time, so I know..." "Ever since I was a little kid, I wanted to be either a doctor or a blooper... so it's basically win-win for me, except now I can't feel my legs." " Pig Pen, what are you doing?" " He doesn't feel that." "So, anyway, what the hell's a guy gotta do to get a drink in this town?" "Uh, actually, I'll catch up to you guys later." "I have to..." " Nice to meet you." " It used to be my bar, but they kinda took it away." "They got wine if you want wine." " What?" " We can get, like, a keg later." "Staff room." "Right now." "Or so help me, I will get my boot..." " You don't even have to say it, Eric." "I know." " Come on." "Let's move." "Got a little surprise for you boys." "Anthony." "Luke." "Pierre." "Pierre?" "Your name's Pierre?" "Majors is really pissed." "He thinks you're all totally incompetent." "He's given me no choice." "You're fired." "Effective immediately." "I'm sorry." " I really am." "I've nothing against you." " What?" "But it's either this, or he won't buy the mountain from..." "Muntz, how could you do this?" "I mean, this is all that we have." "I mean, what's Pierre gonna do?" "He's very stupid." "And you're gonna side with..." "with Majors, who calls you a-a retard to your face?" "I mean, we say stuff like that, too, but not to your face." "And you know why?" "We're your friends." "You guys brought this on yourselves." "The hot tub, the drug test." "You're disrupting the whole town." "Now, you didn't help me out;" "now I can't help you out." "I'm sorry." " Knock, knock." " John." "Hey there, Rick." "Welcome to the winning team." "Gotcha a little gift." "I'll see you out there." "Hey, thanks a lot." "Hey there, Rick." "Welcome to the winning team." "Gotcha a little gift." "'ll see you out there." "Those bastards." " /'ll take my time" " We rule!" "For anyone" "I'm sorry, guys." "My dad can be a jerk, I know." "But it's not like you get to pick your parents." "For anyone" " don't mean to be so grand" " But /'ll take my time" " Needed burnin'." "I mean, what are we gonna do now?" "You know, I'm-I'm not good at anything else." "Not that I was good at this, whatever this whole thing was... but at least it was familiar to me." "Hey, I can fly you guys down to Anchorage if you want." "You guys can get rides from there wherever." "Look." "If worse comes to worst, we can always get jobs on an oil rig." "Our uncle works on one in Nome, and, you know, we'd be great at that." "Pig Pen, you're on fire." "Guys on oil rigs get laid a lot, right?" "On their occasional break from their 1 9-hour workday... and the freezing sleet, yeah, they get laid all the time, Pig Pen." " All right, I'm down." " I'm in." " Should go and say goodbye to Rick." " No, no, no." "He knows that we're leaving, then he's gonna throw it all away." "So, we have to do the honourable thing and... steal a few street signs, leave town with our tail between our legs." "God, guys." "What's wrong with you?" "I don't know where to start." "Ever since they took my bar away from me..." "I've been doing a lot of thinking." "A lot of drinking and a lot of thinking." "A lot of thinking about why I act the way I do... why I feel the need to have countless sexual conquests, one after the other." "And I think it's due to the fact that I'm, uh..." "I don't know how to say this." "Uh, I'm..." " Gay?" " No." "What?" "Gay?" "No!" "Come on, guys!" "Mr October batting' for the other team?" "Lance, everybody knows." "Nobody cares." "It's okay, you know." "I mean, if you weren't gay... you'd be a pretty weird guy." "Really." " Come on." " Well, I was just gonna say... that I was adopted, but... since we're having this conversation..." "Hey, Rick." "Lookin' good." "Money suits you." "Yeah, thanks, Mr Majors." "Mr Majors?" "What happened to John?" "After all, you're practically family now." "And not that bogus Majors Resort family... that I tell the minimum wagers their in either." " Where are all my friends?" " Well, they're gone, Rick." "Business 1 01." "Listen." "I was doing you a favour." "See, those guys, they're just deadweight." "Now you can run this place to your full potential." "You'll make a boatload." "Maybe you'll marry my daughter." " I got work to do." " Get that statue out of here." "What the..." "Bull Mountain!" "Don't go changin'!" " Get that sign straight, guys." "And world-class skiing...  at our five-star, major, major..." "Hey, John." "I quit." "That's a $300 hat, bitch!" " Can't believe I was so stupid..." " Rick!" "Jeez, I've been looking everywhere for you." " Barry is flying the guys to Anchorage." " What do you mean?" "They're leaving, Rick." "Come on." "You know, uh, I've always wanted to be a flight attendant." " You showing a movie today?" " Yep." " It's not Alive,  is it?" " You guys are just gonna leave?" " You can come with us if you want to." "No, Rick, you're not going to throw your life down the tubes just 'cause we're incompetent." "You were born to run this mountain." "This is what you wanna do." "You're staying, period." "I appreciate that." "I really do." "But I just quit." "Well, in that case, hop on." "We got plenty of room for you if we throw out one of the kegs." "You can't leave." "Bull Mountain is not just our job, it's our home." "Not really." "I mean, you see what they've done to the place." "We're not the locals any more." "They are." "Snownook's not our town, Rick." "You know, Bull Mountain, that was our town." "Well, technically, it belonged to the Eskimos, but we stole it fair and square." "They're right, Rick." "Bull Mountain's gone." "I mean, they even tore down the statue of Papa Muntz." " What?" " What?" "You guys remember Papa Muntz's last..." "his last toast right before he died." " No, remind me." " He held up his beer... he looked at the mountain that he loves, and he said, "Don't go changin'."" "His last words were from a Billy Joel song?" " "Don't go changin'."" " Bull Mountain is our home..." " And I say let's do something about it." " Yes!" "Our home." " Let's do something." " It is our town." " Yeah!" " Yeah!" " So, you got a plan?" " Yeah, you got a plan?" " No." " I'm in." " Me too." " Same here." " Let's do it!" " Let's do it!" "Come on." " Unpack your bags." "I'm down." "But if we're staying..." "I've got some unfinished business to take care of." "Come on." "Where's your spirit?" "Hello, Inga." "I've never been a man of... of words... but there's something that I have to say to you." "Inga, I've loved you from the first time that I saw you." "And I love you more than any man's ever loved a woman... that he's never actually spoken to." "I'm only gonna offer this once." "Inga, will you, um... have sex with me?" "Nothing would piss off my stepfather more." "Let's do this." "All right, guys." "You know what to do." "It's time to destroy this little celebration." " Let's go!" "Let's go!" "Let's go!" " Come on!" "Come on, guys!" " Let's do this!" " Come on, guys!" "Let's go!" " All right." "Let's go." "Come on." " Anthony." " Come on." "What are you doing?" " Calm down!" " What?" "It's time to get back on that board, man." "Welcome, welcome, friends and investors." "We may be 1 0,000 feet above sea level... but this is the ground floor you're getting in on today." "Yes, the ground floor of a dream." "Now, with my signature and your money... we could make this dream come true." "Yes, sir." "The future is ours." "Just one beautiful, state-of-the-art, gondola ride away." "Hit it!" "Inga!" "Bastard, I thought I fired your ass!" "Inga, get your clothes on!" "You're just like your mother." "Guys, if this is gonna be it, let's make it count." " Yeah!" " Yes!" "Stay low, don't hit any kids..." " And most of all, don't sit down." " Why not?" "'Cause we're doing this Papa Muntz style, baby." " Ow!" " Get 'em off!" "Come on." "Get 'em off!" "Luke, if you'll do the honours, please." "Everybody, pants at half-mast." "Let's put Papa Muntz back where he belongs." "All right, then." "One, two, three!" "Four, five!" "Sorry about that, folks." "I assure you everything is under control." "Everything's just fine!" "Duck!" "What the hell is Captain Cripple doing here?" "What?" "Aw, come on, honey." "Lock her in the Humvee till he's gone." "Nineteen, twenty." "Come on, baby." "Twenty-one." " All right." " Don't touch me!" " You better learn some manners, little lady." "In!" " So what's up?" " Guard duty." " Nice!" "Yee-ha!" " Everything is fine!" " Whoo-hoo!" "Damn!" "Afternoon, everybody." "Rick, you ungrateful jerk!" "Get outta my way!" "Whoo-hoo!" "Stop, thief!" "Hey, stop those guys!" "Get those guys outta here!" "Bunch of losers!" "Come on, baby!" " Luke!" "Luke!" "Luke!" " What the hell's he doing up there?" "Wait!" "Stop it!" "Luke!" "Luke!" "Luke!" "Luke!" "Major!" "Oh, shit!" " How's that for irony?" "Medic!" " Ooh!" "Aah!" "Come on!" "Whoa!" "Rick!" "I'm your father." "Okay, whatever." "Go!" "Go!" "Get outta here!" "Come on!" "Get 'em!" "All right, at my signal, unleash hell." "Wait!" "Wait!" "Don't leave!" "So there's a few bad apples." "So my daughter's a whore." "But this is a hell of a deal!" "Now!" "Hey, come on, kids." "Let's play safe." "All right, safe." "Was that a bottle?" " Wanna go for a ride?" " Where are we going?" "We're getting out of here." " Stay back, sir." " Don't hit me!" " Hang on." "You want me?" "Here I come!" "Papa, you will be restored to your rightful place." " Why did you take me around this way?" " Because you're getting on that plane." " I don't understand." " Come on." "I'm gonna stay here so your dad doesn't know where you went." "Wait, wait." "Last night you said..." "Look." "Last night, we both said a lot of things." "Some of them were true, most of them weren't." "But I thought about it, and it all adds up to one thing." "You're getting on that plane where you belong with Barry." "Look." "We'll always have Pedro O'Horny's, right?" "We'd lost that until you came here." "Hip hip" "Hip hip" "Go." "Thank you, Rick." "On an island in the sun" "We'll be playing and having fun" "And it makes me feel so fine" " can't control my brain" " We'll never feel bad any more" " Hip hip" "Think this is funny, retard?" "Ow!" "Damn!" "What was that?" "You hit my ear!" "You even fight like a retard." "Do it!" "Call me retard one more time!" "Do it!" " Retard!" "Retard!" "Retard!" " I hate you!" "I hate you!" "Oh, you can't get to heaven on roller skates" "'Cause you'll roll right past" "Ride, Papa, ride!" "This is how you repay me?" "What the hell you got to say for yourself?" "I got one thing to say to you:" "Get off our mountain, asshole!" "All right." "Fine." "You win." "I'll go." "But first I'm gonna whomp your ass!" "Bring it on, big man!" " Papa Muntz!" " Yee-hah!" "Damn!" "What the hell was that?" " That was my dad." " Look out!" " Stop!" "Oh!" " Yeah!" "Help!" "Help!" " Help!" "Help!" " Whoo!" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Help!" "Stop!" "Help!" "Where's Anna?" "Where's your boot?" "Let's get a drink." "Come on." "Yeah, nice work, Lance." " Fellas!" "Fellas!" " Check it out!" "Anthony!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Beer!" "Oh, hey, hot sluts with tits." "Lance, you don't have to do that any more, buddy." "Oh, sorry, I..." "Old habits die hard." "I love men!" " Lance, you don't have to do that either." " Who wants me?" "Help, retard!" "Short stack!" "Anybody?" "Man, you must be proud, huh?" "Yeah." "So, uh, do you ever miss her?" " Who?" " That is the right answer." "So, um, you wanna get a drink with me later?" "You're gonna have to try a lot harder than that, Ricky." "You know, things worked out pretty well... for our friends up here on Bull Mountain." "Rick and Jenny?" "Yeah, they got together and then some." "Two sweet kids like that, they can do mighty well by one another." "Anybody who ever tells you that money won't buy you love... hell, they ain't ever been to Reno." "I was at the buffet table." "This gal comes up to me, and I flash them dimes." "And we went right up to her hotel room..." "Well, it was a car." "This is the good one." " Hey, you're pretty good on that thing, son." " Yeah, I'm a genius." "Actually, he was Mr Mankowitz, but you can call me..." "Set." "Who is under my table?" "Who put a farting machine under my table?" "This uniform makes my nuts "rageous."" "This uniform's really cramping my hardy boys." "It's no mystery." "Well, this outfit is suffocating my..." "Lance, can I get a drink for a..." "Oh, baby, /'m makin'it" " get it, it's funny You know /'m makin'money" " Not summer, but sunny" " Cut!" "Cool like an Easter bunny You get it, /'m on it / got the milk and honey" "You make me laugh Ha ha ha" "You make me laugh Ha ha ha" "Are we still making this movie?" "Are we done with this crap?" "Ha ha ha" "Ha ha ha You make me laugh" "Ha ha ha" "When this country went off the gold standard..." "Your paper is paper." "Nothing more than paper." "And if you don't believe me... by God, you go talk to Alan Greenspan!" "I swear to God!" "He's running this country!" "Lookin'at himself wishing'he was someone else" "Because the posters on the wall they don't look like him at all" "So, he ties it up, he tucks it in He pulls it back and gives a grin" "Laughin'at himself because he knows he ain't loved at all" "He gets his courage from the can /t makes him feel like a man" "Because he's lovin'all the ladies but the ladies don't love him at all" "And when he's not drunk he's only stuck on himself" "And then he has the nerve to say he needs a decent girl" "Lookin'at herself but wishing'she was someone else" "Because the body of the doll it don't look like hers at all" "So, she straps it on, she sucks it in She throws it up and gives a grin" "Laughin'at herself'cause she knows she ain't that at all" "All caught up in the trends Well, the truth began to bend" "And the next thing you know, man therejust ain't no truth left at all" "When the pretty girl walks she walks so proud" "And when the pretty girl laughs oh man, she laughs so loud" "And if it ain't this then it's that as a matter of fact" "She hasn't had a day to relax" "Since she's lost her ability to think" "Clearly" "Well, /'m an energetic apathetic version of another person" "Check out my outside There ain't nothin'in here" "Well, /'m a superficial, systematic music television addict." "Check out my outside There ain't nothin'in here" "Comes another one just like the other" "Lookin'at himself but wishing'he was someone else" "Because the posters on the wall they don't look like him" "He ties it up, he tucks it in Pulls it back, he gives a grin" "Laughin'at himself because he knows he ain't loved at all" "He knows he ain't loved at all" "[Skipped item nr. 1267]"