"So, are you going to be able to get those concert tickets for Gary's birthday?" "No problem." "My guy said if you can wait one more day, he can throw in some backstage passes." "Oh, my God." "Gary, backstage, at a Nelly concert." "Are you serious?" "For shizzle, my sizzle." "Yeah, you heard me." "But Gary's birthday is today." "I'm supposed to meet him later to give him his present." "So give him something small he can open tonight," " and surprise him with the tickets tomorrow." " Perfect." "I love that we have a new gym in our building." "I hate that one down the block." "I know." "Now we only have to smell our neighbors." "Uh, you know what?" "Let's just go." "What, no, I thought you were going to hit the treadmill." "I think she's probably almost done." "Nah, let's just take a walk." "We'll use nature's treadmill." "No, I'll just see how much longer she's going to be." "Holly " "Hi, excuse me, um, can I just ask you how much longer you're going to be?" "No." "Okay, well, I'm just asking, 'cause, like, the sign says, um, there's a 20-minute limit while others are waiting." "Oh." "I just got on." "Okay, Val, that woman over there is breaking a rule." "She has been on that treadmill for 30 minutes." "I mean, that's 10 whole minutes of rule-breaking." "Oh, it's not that bad." "Come on, let's go." "What is with you?" " Come on, go!" " Aah!" "That woman in there -- that's Mindy Turner." "She hates me." "Five years ago, she and I wanted the same apartment, and I got it." "So now I have a balcony with a view, and she's still stuck facing the wall." "How'd you get it?" "Well, she accused me of flirting with the landlord." "Did you?" "Like I said, I have a balcony with a view, and she's still stuck facing the wall." "She has this huge grudge against me." "Oh, my God." "Where are you going?" "I'm going to get your treadmill, but don't worry, you can hide out here until the scary tiny lady comes out." "No, no, no, just leave her alone, okay?" "I am telling you, she can make our lives miserable." "She is on the tenants board." "Oh, my God, the tenants board?" "!" "Aah!" "Run, Val!" "Run!" "♪ Hey!" "♪" "♪ Uh-huh ♪" "♪ What I like about you ♪" "♪ You really know how to dance ♪" "♪ When you go up, down, jump around ♪" "♪ Talk about true romance ♪" "♪ Yeah ♪" "♪ Keep on whispering in my ear ♪" "♪ Tell me all the things that I wanna hear ♪" "♪ 'Cause it's true ♪" "♪ What I like ♪" "♪ That's what I like about you ♪" "♪ What I like ♪" "♪ That's what I like about you ♪" "♪ What I like about you ♪" "♪ That's what I like about you ♪" "♪ What I like about you ♪" "♪ Hey!" "♪" "Great." "Hey." "Hey, nice jersey." "Where'd you get that?" "It was a birthday present from new mommy." "Those things are like 300 bucks." "She trying to buy your love?" "Yep, and it's working." "Happy birthday." "Oh, thank you, thank you." "You know, I love it when my birthday comes around." "It gives me a chance to see how fortunate I am and how wonderful it is to be -- oh, hell, what'd you get me?" "Here you go." "Oh, thank you, wow!" "What is this?" "It's a $10 gift certificate." "From a video store." "The one right by your house." "You're welcome." "I like movies." "I know." "Very nice." "Very thoughtful." "$10." "You forgot my birthday, didn't you?" "No." "No, it's okay, it's okay." "I understand." "You forgot your best friend's birthday, you had to pick up something quick, so you stopped by the video store, the one right by your house." "It's cool, it's cool." "Yeah, 'cause, you know," "I like movies." "Whatever happened to "It's the thought that counts"?" "Oh, yeah, a lot of thought went into this." "You were lying awake at night, thinking," ""It's Gary's birthday." ""What would really disappoint him?"" "Hey, look, that's not your real present." "Your real present is coming tomorrow." "I just didn't want to tell you because I wanted it to be a surprise." "What happened, it's on back order from the pretend factory?" "No, I'm serious." "I have been working on this for weeks." "Come on, Gary." "What?" "!" "Hello, neighbor." "Too late, I already saw it." "You've been on there for 40 minutes." "That's against the rules." "Actually, the rule states a 20-minute limit when others are waiting." "You just started waiting." "So my 20 minutes starts now." "Ding!" "Oh." "Okay." "What are you doing?" "Waiting." "You know, you're not allowed in the exercise room unless you're accompanied by a resident." "You're a resident." "I'm here with you." "Actually, I live in 34C." "You may even know it -- nice balcony... no view of a wall..." "You live with Val Tyler?" "Yep." "I'm her sister." "Sister?" "I didn't know Val's sister lived with her." "Why haven't I met you before?" "Maybe 'cause you're always hogging the treadmill." "Ha ha ha, you're funny." "What's your name?" "Holly." "Holly." "That's pretty." "Hey, what happened to Val's other roommate?" " What was her name?" " Roberta." "She moved out nine months ago." "Right." "Roberta." "You know what?" "I'm done here." "Take the treadmill." "Okay." "Thank you." "It was really nice talking to you, Holly." "It was nice talking to you, too." "Do you want me to turn on the television for you?" "Oh, no, no, no, my favorite show is already on." "Here you go." "One onion ring." "I ordered an individual pepperoni pizza." "Oh, I'm so sorry you're disappointed, but it's the thought that counts." "You're right." "It is the thought that counts, and that's why I came here to give you your gifts." "Oh, what's it going to be this time, some coupons -- 50 cents off a box of Goobers?" "You know what?" "What did I get you for your last birthday?" "Perfume." "Not just perfume." "Custom-made, special order, created just for you." "With bubble bath and hand soaps and shampoo." "I never got bubble bath." "Yeah, well, you would've liked it." "Smells great." "The point is, I know you, okay?" "And I got you a gift that was just for you." "Well, I got you a gift..." "That was an insult, a complete insult, and I'll tell you something else." "I'm a better friend than you are." "Whoa, Gary, I think " "No, I'm serious." "I am generous and thoughtful." "And I think I've always been a better friend than you." "Tickets to Nelly, third row." "Backstage passes." "Whatcha reading?" ""The Grapes of Wrath." I have to do a stupid book report." "Oh, yeah, I never read the book, but it's a great movie." "Need anything from the video store?" "[ knock on door ]" " Oh, can you get that?" " Yeah." "Oh, hey, Min." "Hey, Holl." "Val, hi there." "Hi." " You guys got a sec?" " Oh, yeah, come on in." "Uh, Holly, can you come in the kitchen for a minute?" "I'm having trouble finding the cheese." "Excuse me a sec." "Sure." " What is she doing here?" " What?" "What the hell is that woman doing in my living room?" "Wait, so you didn't want cheese." "How does she know your name?" "I'm sorry, but I talked to her in the gym today." "And you know what?" "She's not that bad." "She's actually kinda nice." "No." "No, she is not nice." "And I told you to stay away from her." "Come on, it was five years ago." "She's over it." "Just relax." "[ Mindy ]:" "Oh, look, I can't see this from my window." " What?" " New York." "Oh, here's the cheese!" "Okay, just stay behind me, and I'll protect you." "You are the one who's going to need protecting." "Um, okay, then, would you, uh, like something to drink?" "No thanks." "I'm only here for a minute." "I just came by to drop this off." "What is it?" "This is a copy of your lease agreement." "This is the part that states all tenants must be approved by the building tenant board." "And this is the approval form for Holly Tyler." "Oh, there isn't one!" "What is she talking about?" "And this is a notice from the tenants board ordering Holly to vacate the premises by the end of the month." "You know, you were right." "Min is a biyotch." "Okay, what do you mean I have to move out?" "Let me see that." "A lot of words." "Give it to me!" "Yeah, a lot of words." "Okay, what is your point?" "Well, let me put it to you in a way maybe you can understand." "Bye-bye." "Well, I'm not going, Min." "Well, if you stay past the end of the month, then Val is in further violation of the lease." "And then you know what happens." "Bye-bye." "Bye-bye." "Well, we're going to fight this." "Well, then you'll have to take it up with the president of the tenants board." "Well, we will." "Give us a name." "Okay." " Ready?" " Yes." "Go." " M-e." " Yeah." "Uh-huh." "That's it." "Me." "President me." "You have wanted this apartment ever since I moved in." "I can't believe you would stoop this low to get it." "No one's asking you to leave, Val." "Just your sister." "Yeah, but you know if she goes, I go with her." "Oh, what could be sweeter than the love between two sisters?" "Oh, I know." "Me having a latte every morning on that balcony." "You know, I don't think that broad knows who she's dealing with." "We are going to take her down." "We're not taking anybody down." "Come on, let's call up the tenants board, and I'll go hillbilly ape crap on them." "Holly, you have no idea what you're talking about." "Yes, I'm talking about mad-doggin' them." "Would you stop it, okay?" "We can't win." "Why are you being such a wuss?" "I'm not being a wuss." "I'm being realistic." "Don't you get it?" "That woman hates me." "She wants this apartment, and she's president of the tenants board." "We can't fight them." "Okay, so, what are we going to do, just give up?" "You know, this never would've started if you had just done what I told you to and stayed away from her, but you couldn't let it go, could you?" "No, you saw a little beehive and you had to go poke it." "I told you, Holly, don't poke the beehive." "And what did you do?" "You just reached for your poking stick and just started poke, poke, poking!" "Okay, I'm sorry, I was bad!" "I did a bad thing, but if we don't fight, then what are we going to do?" "Well, I guess we're going to have to find another apartment, aren't we?" "I like my room." "We'll find another room." "This is New York City, the land of the rooms." "So is this your room or my room?" "Okay, feel free to look around." "You have any questions, I'll be downstairs." "Actually, I have a question." "Can we paint?" "That would be really nice of you." "Oh." "Pretty." "I cannot believe they're asking for the same rent we're paying now." "I've lived five years in a rent-controlled apartment." "I had no idea what they were going for these days." "We can fix it up, maybe." "Throw a nice ficus in the corner." "Maybe a fish tank to justify the smell..." "Oh, look." "How lovely." "A built-in coffee maker." "I know, I screwed up." "I'm sorry." "But I have to ask you something," "How could you forget to put my name in the lease?" "I mean, you, of all people, you never forget anything." "I don't know." "It just got by me." "Just got by you?" "Nothing gets by you." "Look, can we just go, okay?" "I don't like it here." "Okay, wait, what are you hiding from me?" "Nothing." "You so are." "You can never look me in the eye when you're hiding something." "I am not hiding anything." "Oh, please, I taught you how to do that." "I'm going to poke you until you tell me." "Come on, come on, come on." "Quit." "All right, fine!" "I didn't forget to put your name on the lease." "You want to know why I didn't do it?" "It was because I wasn't sure if it was going to work out, okay?" "What wasn't going to work out?" "You living with me." "I was nervous." "It was scary." "I have a career, I have a boyfr " "I had a boyfriend." "One minute, I am living a pretty fast lifestyle, and the next minute, I'm responsible for a 16-year-old kid." "Okay, first of all, that 16-year-old kid is your sister, and second of all," ""fast lifestyle" -- question mark!" "Okay, look, my life was about to completely change, okay?" "I think it would be understandable" " that I would be a little..." " Afraid." "I know!" "Well, you must be pretty happy with the way things turned out." "What?" "Well, you got to get rid of me and avoid having another fight with the board." "Would I be standing in this dump if I wanted to get rid of you?" "I don't know." "I would've thought you'd put my name in the lease, but you didn't do that." "Hey." "What is that?" "I'm going to start moving my stuff over to Nana's tonight." "You're going to go live with Nana." "I'm going to try it out." "Her shower's got a chair in it." "Easier to shave my legs." "You're going to shave your legs on a chair that Nana sits on naked?" "This may be the answer, okay?" "She's close, we can still see each other, but this way, you can keep your apartment and get back to your fast lifestyle." "By the way, your knitting magazine came." " Come on, put that down." " No." "You're not going to Nana's." "No, I already talked to her, and you know what?" "She's not scared to put my name on the lease." "All right, that is it." "You are not going anywhere." " Give that back." " No." "Come on, give it." "Sit down, be quiet, and follow me." "What?" "Sit down." "I'm going to make a phone call," " and then follow me." " Well, you didn't say -- [ yells ]" "All right, what is this about?" "This is about you sitting down and shutting up." "Maybe you didn't hear me so good." "Now, it says in the lease that a tenant is allowed to call an emergency meeting, and that is what I'm doing." "So I'm calling one to appeal the decision about my sister." "Fine." "Appeal fast." "Because one-third of the board's got a sweet something dropping by to pick her up in a half-hour." "You'll get out of here when I say you get out of here." " Are you sure this " " Sit down!" "I'm mad-doggin' them." "Yes, sir." "Now, I have gone over this lease with a fine-toothed comb." "And you know what I have discovered?" "It is a bunch of crapola." "Can somebody tell me where this is going?" "It's a pathetic attempt for her to get " "I believe I have the floor, Blondie." "You're a blonde, too." "You want to throw my sister out because some stupid rule says I have to fill out a form?" "You know what I say?" "Screw the rules!" "Bye-bye, my pretty room." "Now, do you know that today" "I was in a gross apartment with hot and cold running...coffee, and I actually considered living there?" "That is how much I love my sister." "That's really nice." "You know, maybe we should vote again." "I think maybe this is " "I know what you're probably thinking, who is this tough New York chick all up in my grill?" "I am like this because of her." "And you know what?" "I don't give a tiny rat's ass what you " "Val, they said that they're going to vote again." "Quit it." "No, no, you know what?" "You don't get to vote on me." "You don't get to vote on Holly." "I vote on you." "Yeah, that's right." "I vote you out." "You, you, and you." "Bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye." "Val, we're going to sit down." "Okay, yeah, being mean's making me dizzy." "It's your first time." "All right, let's all take a deep breath and try to approach this like adults." "Don't be a wuss." "Bring the pain!" "Whoa, yeah, now I'm getting a headache." "My sister means more to me than anyone else in the world." "Since I started living with her... it's been the best year of my life." "And that is the exact tone I'm going to use when I take this to court, and I'll be wearing a much cuter outfit than this." "I'm voting for the kid." "What about you and you?" "Is there anything I can do to sway your vote?" "Forget it." "You are out by the 1st." "Right, Lisa?" "Uh..." "Come on, Lisa." "Isn't there something we can do?" "Maybe I'll scratch your back..." "Oh, my God, you can't just bribe her!" "Shut up, Mindy." "What you got, kid?" "You know, Holly, you were great in there." "Very effective." "So thought out and so logical." "You were great in there, too -- mean, tough, scary." "I am proud to say that some of me rubbed off on you." "I think I'm going to go take a bath." "I think I have a rage hangover." "How do you do it?" "Where does all your anger come from?" "Reality TV." "[ knock on door ]" " Hey." " Hi." "I, um, I wanted to thank you for the concert tickets." "Oh, you're welcome." "Well, it was, um, very nice, very, uh, thoughtful." "Oh, good, well, I'm pleased that you liked them." "So, is that it?" "No." "No, no, that's not it." "Of course that's not it." "Um, I've been thinking about how to make it up to you, and everything I think of doesn't seem right." "I was a real jerk." "And I wasn't being a very good friend." "I sure am ashamed of myself." "Ahh..." "Look, I'd really like it if you came with me to the Nelly concert." "[ knock on door ]" "Oh, well, I'm actually not a big fan of his music, but, it's funny, 'cause I know someone who is." "I'm ready to go." "Where's my ticket?"