"Okay, boys, I got a fresh scarlet snapper here," "And it's yours for the taking." "All you got to do is come and get it." "But, Skipper, the floor is covered in mouse traps." " Razor-sharp observation there, young private." "This would complicate fish acquisition." "This magnificent catch goes to the man who has the wit," "Ingenuity, and cunning..." "Or Rico." "It goes to Rico." "Shh, do you hear the cry of an innocent child?" "Move out, men." "I wasn't doing nothing, just petting the sheep," "And then he bit me!" "On behalf of the central park zoo," "I'm legally required to tell you I'm sorry." "Okay?" "A biter in the petting zoo?" "Just when you think you've seen" "All the sick the world can throw at you." "Come on, you." "Someone's got to take that fluffy punk down." "You think so, Skipper?" "I mean, it looks like Alice is taking charge." " With this zoo's revolving-door justice system?" "He'll be back to chewing on children in no time." "And now that he's tasted human blood," "There'll be no satisfying his depraved thirst." "So it's up to patriots like us" "To take the law into our own hands." "Oh, dear." "Huh?" "Wha?" "Somebody there?" "Yeah, someone's here..." "Your worst nightmare." "A flying coyote with laser beam eyes?" "Um..." "No," "Four angry penguins." "Oh, whew, 'cause when coyotes develop flight and laser technology," "It's game over, you know?" "Can the lip flap, sicko." "This ain't our first time at the rodeo." "We know what you did to that kid." "Kowalski, options?" "Let's see." "We could go with the Norwegian noogie" "Or the West Indies wedgie." "Why don't we just pin a corsage on him" "And take him to the prom?" "Come on, man." "In that case," "The conquistador's sunburn." "Oh, great." "Great." "Fantastic." "Well, I don't suppose anyone" "Wants to hear my side of the story?" "I would actually." "I just think we should hear both sides of the story." "Is that so wrong?" "I'm going to put that in my naive question file, private." "Kowalski?" "Please, Skipper?" "Ah, fine." "Go ahead, cotton ball." "Explain to us what possible reason you could have" "For attacking an innocent child." "Innocent?" "Okay, let's start there." "That kid was no innocent." "His type is the scourge of the children's zoo." "Is this loud?" "All hopped up on churros and juice boxes." "Well, after all that, I can understand why you snapped." "That?" "No, that was nothing." "You know what we call that in the petting zoo?" "Tuesday." "It's what the little jerk did next that crossed the line." "For the love of" "He ruined my beautiful, beautiful fleece and left me..." "Exposed." "So, yeah, it was self-defense." "Oh, come on." "It's the petting zoo." "It's thunderdome." "It's a nonstop parade of grubby, grimy, grabby hands." "I mean, do you know what it takes" "To get candy apple out of this coat?" "Do you?" "Uh, club soda?" "Oh, hey, that might work." "But still, it's the principle." " Look men, we pegged" " Randy." "Randy here all wrong." "Um, I didn't, actually." "Sure you did." "You were acting like judge and jury." "Well, anyway, that's the past." "He needs our help." "Skipper, I've been working on a compound" "To protect us during combat." "It may be just what the doctor ordered." "Ah, there." "I've coated Randy's wool" "With a kinetic-energy-repelling polymer that will protect him" "From the sticky hands of churroed-up children." "Outstanding." "You are home free, amigo." " Kowalski?" " What, Skipper?" "The bouncing?" "Yes, he is." "Men, I need options," "And not our normal options," "The options we bust out for special guests." "Ah, Rico, I admire your cocky swagger," "But we should save the party" "Until after we've achieved victory." "Skipper, I believe Rico is proposing to rub the balloon" "Against Randy's woolly coat, thus creating a static charge" "That should prove most shocking." " Yep-a-doodle." "Oh, sure." "That ought to keep him out of the kiddies' clutches." "Go to it, Rico." "And three hours." "All right, Randy, you are all charged up." "You really think this'll work?" "Oh, yeah." "Uh-oh." "Okay, Randy, we're changing tactics." "We can't keep the kids' paws off you." "But maybe we can make it so you don't mind." "Hypnosis." "Should I be freaked by this?" "No, no, no, Randy," "I assure you, I am a hypnosis expert." "I saw it on the telly." "Whatever." "Just give it a whirl." "Okay, then." "Stare at the watch and relax..." "It didn't go like this on the telly." "Ow." "My future is nothing but chocolate," "Cotton candy, and lollipops." "Yum." "Stuck on my woolly butt!" "Oh." "Yuck." "Uh..." "Yum." "Some new facts have come to light." "Like, did you know a petting zoo" "Is not a sheep's natural habitat?" "I had no idea." "I've lived my whole life in petting zoos." "We found this in the zoovenier shop." "Apparently it's called a "farm."" "Kowalski, voice analysis." "Home to horsies..." "Piggies..." "And sheep." "I don't sound like that, do I?" "Yup." "The point is, won't this be a smashing place to live, Randy?" "To live?" "Really?" "Well, it's a little snug, but" "Ah, it's good to be home." "Yeah, uh, Randy, you know, that's just a toy." "Actual farms are much larger." "Ha." "Yeah." "Huh." "Do I look like an idiot?" "Yup." "Ooh, one thing," "If we take Randy to a farm, won't Alice notice he's missing?" "Not a problem." "Wait, wait, wait, let me be standing under this." "You want to borrow Mort so you can help some guy" "I care nothing about get to a "fa-arm"?" "That is the plan." " Eh..." "No." " Yay, king Julien loves me." "You cannot borrow Mort," "Because "borrow" says that you will bring him back." "Bye-bye, Mort." "See?" "That's a love shove." "I'm a sheep." "Cock-a-doodle-doo!" "Do you think Alice will buy it?" "Are you kidding?" "The resemblance is uncanny." "Hey, fluffy stuff, how's it going?" "All right, men." "Commence phase two of operation steal wool." "S-t-e-a-l." "You got to read it to get it." "Private's idea." "Hey, I thought you were taking the truck upstate to that farm." "Ah, the new guy said he'd do it." "New guy?" "Adios, amigos." "Is it safe?" "All clear." "Let's see." "Estimated travel time at approximately" "Three inches per hour..." "One hour and 45 minutes." "Are you sure this is the right map, Kowalski?" "Pretty sure." "Ooh, we don't have Oklahoma yet." " Ow." " Punch buggy!" "Giant lemonade on your left, Skipper." "Are you sure about his map?" "Why didn't you go at the last rest stop?" "We didn't have to then." "It is a map of New York?" "Um, it is a map." "I can't see a blasted thing." "The combination of grease, mud, and dead bugs" "Have completely obscured the road." "If only we had some sort of absorbent cloth" "Or chamois with which to clean the windshield." "Just hurry up, okay?" "If my calculations are correct," "And they usually are," "We should be able to see the farm any" "There it is." "I saw it first." "I did." "Ooh, rustic." "And much bigger than the toy." "Here, at the farm, you will find your bliss." "Ah, and so begins my beautiful farm life." "Hey, know where I can find the sheep?" "Take off your coat." "Stay awhile." "Wait, you're sheep?" "No, but you're" " Sheared?" "Yes." "You will love the shears." "The shears?" "Be a brand new ewe." "[chanting] shears." "Shears." "Shears." "Shears." "Help!" "Wait!" "Ah, so Randy's right back where he started." "Poor guy." "Actually, private, I don't think you need to worry." "Oh, yeah." "I'm gonna get me a sheep." "Rico and I showed him a few moves." "Eh, you can't join 'em, beat 'em."