"Do you get off at Viterbo?" " No." "So many questions!" "Sorry, I meant no harm." "I'm hardly a free man, you know." "Married?" " No, still a bachelor for a few hours more but at one, I'll be a husband!" " Congratulations!" "In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit." "Dear young people, you are here in front of the altar of God, to exchange the solemn vows of your eternal love." "My poor daughter!" "To marry such a vulgar man!" "She's so sensitive." " Mama, what do you expect?" "He's one who's come up from nowhere." " But he did buy her a nice house!" "Lucky her who's going to live in Rome!" " Poor thing, so far away from me." "Right." " Without her mom!" "The years will pass, but always will be eternal your love..." "Is it true that he was a foreman?" " You heard that too?" "But his partner has a different air." " Which is he?" "The one with the beard." "You, Elena Bonfatti, do you take, the here present Alberto Mariani, as your legitimate husband, according to the rite of Holy Mother Church?" "Yes." "You, Alberto Mariani, do you take the here present Elena Bonfatti, as your legitimate wife, according to the rite of Holy Mother Church?" "Yes." "I unite you in marriage, in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit." "THE HUSBAND" "I'm going up to the office." " Thank you for coming to get us." "It's not raining anymore, dear." "Watch out for your new shoes, there's a puddle!" "I already put them in the puddle!" " Take the hat box, baby!" "Don't get it wet!" "But it's already wet." " Take my purse." "Gimme all of it, dear." " Here are the magazines!" "Help me, love!" " Step out, sweetie." "Do I give this to you or to your lady?" "To me, to me!" "I get all!" " Goodbye, Ma'am." "Still calling her Ma'am?" "Then bye, Elena, get some rest." "And don't get exhausted!" "What was that wink?" "Not nice!" "He may not be witty but he's the only friend I have." "Bye!" "Why doesn't he shave that beard?" "He was lieutenant of the Alpines." " Greeting, Dotto'!" "Go Rome always!" " Go Rome!" "Bring the suitcases." "Rome!" " Right away." "Here we are!" "Do you have the keys, dear?" "No, you must." " Got'em." "My house, my house, how much you cost!" "Won't it open?" "Paolina must've locked it." " Who's Paolina?" " The maid." "Did she lock herself in?" " Must be afraid." "She's just a girl:" "so withdrawn, shy!" " Welcome, Sir." "Paolina, go and bring the bags downstairs with the porter." "Yes, Sir." "Just a girl!" "Kitten, won't you carry me in?" " Carry you?" "Why?" "Please!" "I'm dreamed of this my whole life!" "As you wish, my cherry." "Your kitten will carry you in his arms!" "Come on, let's do it like the Americans!" "Whoa, how heavy you got!" "No, on the right, not the left!" " Oh, yes, the right!" "Careful!" "You'll hurt my appendicitis!" "Oh!" "What a strike on the knee!" " The knee!" "A little kiss and it's all better, eh?" "Oh, God!" "I heard a crick!" "The sunglasses!" "They cost 10,000 lire!" "With all the money you earn!" "And what did I spend on the honeymoon?" "What was that?" "A gift for you from Mom." "Like it?" "It makes me feel old, dead." "Yes, indeed, my grandfather died there." " Oh God!" " Are you shocked?" "No!" "Bad luck, stay away!" "A gift from my classmates at the conservatory." "Stefania, Simona, Matilde and me with the cello." "What?" "Will you continue to play it?" " Yes." "The first telephone call!" "Let me answer." "Yes, you answer." "But who are you?" "You're my boss!" "Yes, whom do I speak to?" "Yes, The Bonf... um, Mariani house." "Who do you want?" "What?" "Mr. Gargano?" "Hey, Garga'!" "Garga', forget it!" "Will you gimme a million or not?" "Did I give you the roost, yes or no?" "Like Bari?" "First Bari, then no Bari, what the heck is this?" "I'm building a four story mansion, I need some cash!" "What?" "Excuse me, I set up my house, honeymoon, broke my glasses," "I've notes going around and I need cash!" "Who cares?" "Who cares?" "Who cares?" "But I'll slam the ledgers on his head!" "Oh, his sister-in-law has died?" "So sad!" "Who cares!" "He goes to his sister-in-law's funeral and I send him to prison!" "Prison!" "At night you can hear the crickets." " What?" "At night you can hear the crickets." " Where?" "From the terrace." " Yes?" "Watch out, it's hot!" "How old are you, Paolina?" " I'll turn 17 in September." "Do you have a boyfriend?" " I'm still a muleta (girl), Sir." "Muletta(mule)?" "A cavallona(mare/stacked woman)!" "What's a cavallona?" " It means beware of soldiers." "Why?" " Because soldiers are clever and prepare traps!" "Why should I care?" "I only hang out with students!" "Damn, what a rascal you are!" "What are you doing, Paolina?" "Take the coffee to the lady!" "You know that Paolina cracked me up!" "She says you can hear crickets on the terrace." "What are those steps for?" " You noticed?" " Yes." "Come, it's a surprise." "I've ruined myself but I also took the terrace above!" "So we make the room for the children!" "Don't start with children." "We've said no for now." "Yes, we've said it, but I want children, dear." "I want them too." "But right now let's be alone!" "This door opens to the stairs, we close it and we'll be alone." "Won't it be a waste of money?" " Waste?" "This is the highest point in Rome." "Don't you feel the fresh air?" "Look at that panorama." "Meadows, trees." "We're in the city and at the same time in the country." "Where's the city?" " Eh?" "Well..." "You can't see it now but in a few years we'll be in the center!" "See how many they're building?" "They get bigger day by day." "See that piece of land with the shrubs?" "5 years ago a friend told me, "Buy it for a million."" "Know how much it's worth today?" "25 million!" "You earned 24 million that way without any work?" "Honestly, I didn't have the million to buy it." "Do not look so, it's temporary." "We'll put plants everywhere." "So green!" "I'll water..." " We'll get a gardener!" "You'll play the cello." "Lounge chairs, umbrellas, swings!" "A guest room would be really great!" "What guests?" "If one day my mother or sister comes to visit..." "No, Elena." "We won't build a guest room." "Only you and I alone must enjoy this." "I got it so no one would come to live above our heads." "You'll see." "If we're alone we'll always have a peaceful, happy life." "Without worries, in peace..." "Commendatore, the ground is paid for, the foundation finished, the loan is insured, but to finish we need cash, help us!" "Boys, I would help you, but you're putting up a 4 floor palace without any cash!" "But Gargano introduced us to you!" "He won't pay!" "I'd brought some cash, but the marriage, the terms of the house, the decorations and all that." "My wife has a mouth this big!" "Boys, how much do you need?" " Let's go to the bar." " No, I've an MP to see." "Make me a sensible proposal and I'll get back to you." "A beer?" " Engineer, phone!" "It's your wife!" " We need 2 million, Sir." "My wife is on the phone." " Does your partner have a degree?" "The workers call us that, but I'm a surveyor." "Were you an Alpine?" " Just wait a few moments..." " I've stuff to do!" "Why are you calling?" "Something urgent?" " No, nothing!" "Why call then?" " Do you know who's here, Alberto?" "Who's here, Elena?" " Mom!" "Wait, Sir, I'll be right there!" " Hello?" " No, no!" "I'm in a hurry." "Gotta go, Elena!" "Guess what mom brought?" " What, Elena?" "I don't know!" "I'm not psychic, Elena!" "A ham?" " No!" "What then?" "Eggs?" "If you want to know, wait on the phone!" "Don't hang up!" "Elena!" "Hello, Elena?" " Pay attention and listen!" "If the commendatore leaves and doesn't give me 2 million, I'm ruined!" "Engineer, goodbye!" " No, Commendatore, stop!" "I'm done!" "Wait!" "Ernesto, come here!" "C'mere!" "Take this!" "And cut that beard!" "Commendatore!" "My beard...?" "Hello?" "Commendatore!" "Don't go!" "One minute and we can settle this!" "Wait!" "Stop!" "Gargano owes me 1.2 million, yes or no?" "But who do you think you are!" "You think only you know MPs?" "Did you like it, darling?" " Very nice, Elena, congratulations!" "Who are you?" " To be honest, I'm Ernesto." "Who's Ernesto?" " His partner." "Partner?" " I replaced Alberto." "The commendatore was getting away." "I ask myself, did my wife have to call me right now?" "Can you be more stupid?" "Yeah, the poor girl is an imbecile!" "Erne'!" "You mustn't call my wife an imbecile!" "Sorry, I'm just mad." "You had to marry now?" "When should I get married?" "After 6 years?" "And now she made us lose 2 million!" " I'll call Gargano." "And if he says no, I'll go to him!" " What will you do?" " I'll go!" "You shouldn't have spent what you did!" " One's not allowed to get a house?" "No, you were forced because she wouldn't have married you if you hadn't bought it." "Other expenses you should've avoided." " Which others?" "There were 20 guests." "A house needs a heater and a fridge!" "What other expenses?" "Your sister." " Don't tell her I'm here!" "Tell her that I'm in Asia." " Asia over there?" " She's there!" "Oh, God!" "She'll ask for money!" "Hi, Sofi'!" " Hi, Albe'!" " What's up?" "We come to thank you for inviting us to the wedding!" " I'm sorry but I couldn't." "You're ashamed of your family who aren't worthy of your violin playing wife!" " Forget about all that, Sofi'!" "It wasn't on your account or uncle's, but your husband who always gets drunk." "You're always fighting." "What's that?" " Can't you see?" "Since you've married and forgot that mama is dead we've restored mama's tombstone." "Have we done wrong?" "No, you've done right..." " 48,000, Albe'!" " 48,000..." "I see." "It was the least we could do for poor mama." "Her tomb had been abandoned." "Did you pay it?" " No, Albe', how could we?" "Dividing it three ways?" "Albe', if we had the money, I wouldn't have come to you!" "I would've paid for mama!" "OK, Sofi', don't cry." "I'll pay for the tombstone." "Did you notice uncle?" "I did." "I'm happy to see him well." "How are you, uncle?" "What do you care?" "Excuse me, huh!" "You see?" "Uncle! "What do you care?" he says!" "You see him, Albe'?" "And where is he going to sleep?" " Where sleep?" "Where?" "Where he's sleeping already." "No, Albe', we're 3 siblings!" "2 years with me, 2 years with Otello and now where will he sleep?" " Yes." " Where, Albe'?" "Where, Sofi'?" "I just got married and I need my privacy!" "Eh, yeah." " Yeah!" "That's right!" "You have 3 terraces: in front, in back and on top." "That's more than you need!" "And who built the terrace, tell me?" "Uncle?" "Build a guest room and that poor old man can sleep there?" "He's your mother's brother!" "He's mom's brother." "And I love you, Uncle." "I love you but nobody's touching that terrace!" "You want to take away my view?" "Sorry!" "It's a little terrace!" "Probably 1 meter by 80..." "Sorry, Uncle!" "1 meter by 80!" "Is he going to sleep with his feet over the balcony?" "Big enough for a kid." " Yeah." "No, not even a kid!" "It's dinky!" " Yeah, yeah." "Yeah!" "That's right!" "How could you even think it?" "For my part, I don't know!" "What are you doing, Mom?" "This'll be a separate entry, this way we won't disturb anyone." "Here'll be your sister's room, a bathroom, and this my room!" " No, Mom, no." "Why not?" " Alberto will never agree." "He bought it for us and wants no one else!" "That's him but do you agree too?" " Yes, but I'll never ask him again." "No need to!" "We'll leave the chalkings and when he comes to the terrace, he'll see them, understand and offer it to me himself if he's nice." "Or else...!" "Listen, I don't want any hypocrisy." " This isn't hypocrisy, but strategy!" "Why do you think your dad and I got along so well?" " 'Cause of love." "No, because I never told him the truth!" "Paolina, listen up." "Yes, Ma'am?" " Pardon my curiosity, but don't you wear a bra?" "No, Ma'am, it's an unnecessary expense." "What a thing to ask!" "Milk or lemon, Engineer?" " Ah, whatever you like, Paolina." "Who are you?" "Who is she?" "Milk or lemon?" "No milk or lemon." "Just tea?" "No!" "An old woman?" "Where did you get her?" " Her name's Armida." "She looks good, no?" "Skidaddle!" "Hello!" "Ah, Erne', that you?" "Who?" "Giorgio, Mario and Peppino?" "Ah, they're all there, eh?" "They are my friends, they got together for dinner." "What are you going to eat?" "Listen: spaghetti a la matriciana, coda alla vaccinara and abbacchio." "Oh, my God!" "Old bachelors!" " Wanna come too?" " Me?" "They're asking if I can go too?" "How could they even think it?" "No, I stay at home with my little wife." "Say hi for me and tell them to enjoy." "My wife says hi and hopes you enjoy your meal." "And have fun." " My wife says to have fun." "Me?" "Of course!" "I'm having so much fun!" "Then good night." " Good night, chiefs!" "See you tomorrow at the game, an hour before, eh?" "And you'll see, whoever's not there Rome vs Lazio." "Go Rome!" "Go Rome forever!" "Is Peppino there?" "Let him come to the phone." "I'll hand it over." "Oh, who gets there first, take care of the sites!" "Hi, Albe'." " Peppino, is that you?" "Peppino!" "In your face and all those on the Lazio side, Peppi'!" "Did you want to go with them?" " With them?" "No!" "Are you crazy?" "Well... nighty-night!" "Now I'll make you listen to the 112th." " Is it more lively?" " Listen." "One!" "Today is so beautiful, what a pleasure to take a stroll on your property." "Up and down, up and down." "Up, up the stairs, you climb up in a dither, like an elevator, watering your flowers." "Humming a song." "Ma'am, I prepared the flowers." " Good, put them on the table." "Here?" " Yes, Yes, there." "Who indeed verily this lovely property..." "Ida's bedroom?" "Entrance?" "Ah, I understand mommy." "She's been making apartments!" "Hag!" "Get out!" "What is this crap?" "Out!" "Dammit!" "She swooped down like a hawk!" "Yeah, she'd make an observatory here." "From here you can see everything." "When I eat, when I drink, when I sleep, monitoring always." "I catch on, hag!" "Here's your bathroom for you!" ""You don't have a mommy, I'll be your mommy."" "I never had a mommy!" "If I had a mommy, if I had..." "Where would I put this mommy?" ""My bedroom"?" "When you buy it, it'll be yours!" "Hag!" " Morning, Alberto!" "Morning, Alberto!" " Thank you, love." "Did you see that, Dear?" " What?" "What mom did on the terrace?" "Mom?" "What are you talking about?" "The chalkings on the terrace." "What chalking?" "Where?" " Aren't they there?" "No!" " No?" "You don't see them?" " No!" "I don't see them!" "Stop playing around, Alberto!" "I'll give the terrace to my uncle who's my mother's brother." "Lazio!" "Lazio!" "Lazio!" " What's that?" "Look at this crowd!" "Refugees!" "Hey, you dirty Lazio fans, have a drink of this!" "Where are you going at this hour?" "Where?" "Where are they going?" "Hey, what time is it?" "What time is it?" "The game!" "Dammit!" "This terrace made me forget the game." "Ladies!" "Ladies, the game!" "I'm late, hurry up!" "Alberto, where are you going?" " Where?" "The game!" "My shorts!" "My socks!" "Aren't you eating?" " No, I'll eat whatever!" "Make me a sandwich, I'll eat on the way!" "I invited my friends to see you today!" "I know but you can invite them again!" "How can I miss this game?" "Understand it's Rome vs Lazio!" "Go to your game so I can look like an idiot to my friends!" "And won't I look like an idiot to 100,000 Romans?" "Another day!" "But you said you liked listening to music." "So I'm not going to the game?" " No, Alberto, I don't want that." "Great!" "I'm outta here!" " For once, you could...!" "Should I go or not?" "It's Rome vs Lazio!" "Go Rome!" "When I was born, my first words were "Go Rome" Elena!" "Look at that!" " Look at that stuff!" "You Lazio fans are always the same!" " Oh, put a sock in it!" "Go Rome!" "Is that seat free?" " Yes, it's free." " This seat?" "Wasn't it for Alberto?" " He's not coming." " He's not?" "He's married now." "What will he do at home with his wife every Sunday?" " He says he's having fun." "We are transmitting from the Olympic Stadium in Rome." "Rome vs Lazio!" "After a quarter of an hour of play, the score is 0 to 0." "Rome attacks, moves to the end line, crosses it," "Dacosta picks it up in air and Lovati sends it to a corner." "Very nice move and nice defense by the Brazilian player." "Palla sends it to Muccinelli." "Magli cuts it off and sends it back." "Lo Iodice retakes it and runs to the side, pushes it to the center, passes it." "But Binardi's head pushes it back." "Rome is clearly superior, dominating Lazio near their goal." "Muccinelli goes to Selmonson." "He shoots it!" "Panetti stops it beautifully." "Dacosta passes 2 opponents and is knocked down 3 meters from the goal." "The referee runs towards the spot." "A penalty for Rome!" "Giuliano prepares to kick..." "What will you do if I block the Suez?" " Pass through Gibraltar." "And I'll send our English fleet!" " And I'll send our Russian fleet!" "Alberto, what happened?" "Alberto?" "Alberto!" "And that's what's left of the instrument?" " Yes, Father." " Just ashes!" "But your husband only reads mysteries?" "Only those and sports newspaper." "As for culture, it's a torture." " No doubt then, it was him." "My husband?" "Why would he do it?" " Why?" "Because you prevented him from seeing the game and the superb goal of Dacosta, a foul on the run-up, Lovati's hurling himself, and you force him to stay home to listen to a concert and you have to ask me why!" "Sorry, dear, I would've done the same!" "But he was in bed with me." " He wanted to create an alibi." "He copied the mechanism of a perfect crime!" "He may only read mysteries, but he reads them well." "Fine, tomorrow I'll buy a new cello." " And he'll throw it out the window again." "I'll buy another!" " He'll do it again!" " I'll go back to mom!" "You can't!" " Why?" " Because you're his wife!" "Yes, you men always in cahoots!" "Although he was wrong, would you rather lose your violin or your husband?" "What'll mom say if I give up music?" "She'll say it'll be a great loss for music, but I who've been your teacher for years take this opportunity to tell you to finally give up music!" "It won't be a great loss." "You can listen to your friends." "I could give up music, Father, but it'd mean now accepting an act of force by my husband which I must submit to all my life!" " But what proof do you have that your poor husband blew up the violin?" " But you said so, Father!" "No!" "I made an assumption, but I could be wrong." "No, Sir, you're now changing your tune!" "First you proved it was him and now you're saying the opposite!" "Yes, it was him but if you didn't see him then you haven't been imposed upon." "Do you know what I think?" "It was a proof of love." " What I must do then?" "Care about him and his business and try to help him without him knowing it." "Is the engineer Mariani here?" " Who would you be?" "Commendatore Rinaldi." " Do you have an appointment?" "Will you let me pass, please." "It's him." " He's here?" " He is." "Don't show yourself, please!" "I have the right to enter into this office!" " Oh, a screamer!" "Dear commendatore!" "How nice to see you!" "I find you in good health, bright eyes..." "Mariani dear, knock off the ass kissing." "You know why I came?" " Certainly, for the bill of exchange." "Yes." " Why?" "Are you worried?" "I've waited since Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday!" "I call him and he talks to me about Gargano." "But I don't give a crap!" "If I'm not paid by Saturday, I'll take back the excavator and seize it all!" "Come on, Sir, those are hard words." "What'll we do?" "Stop work?" "Certainly, stop the work." " Fine, let's stop it." "Commendatore, I would've paid you but my partner is in the South." "What is he doing in the South?" " In the South?" "He's in Bari, getting the cash to pay your bill of exchange." "And when does he return from Bari?" "Eh?" "He's traveling." "He'll get back today or tomorrow or Friday..." "Maybe in an hour!" "As soon as he's back from Bari, I'll pay you!" "My word!" "You give me your word?" " Come on, Sir, my word of honor!" "Between us..." "Wow!" "A drink?" "Yes, a drop." " Help yourself!" "You make a lot of noise, Sir, but you're a softie!" "How is your wife?" " I sent her to Chianciano, which I really don't mind." "Don't mind!" "Nice one!" "Cool, Commendatore, with the wife away, you take advantage and have some fun, eh?" "Be honest!" " May I?" "Who's that?" "Ah, Elena!" "Why did you come, I'd be there in a minute..." "May I say something to my husband?" "Allow me, Sir, my wife!" "Commendatore Rinaldi." "Only a few words." " By all means." "The maid confessed." "It was she who destroyed the cello." "she understood it was dividing us and wanted to do it for our happiness." "What?" " Didn't you know I had a treasure at home?" "My wife studied the cello." "A graduate from the Conservatory!" "My compliments, Ma'am." "Do you still play?" "No, I decided to quit." " A shame!" "Why?" "Sometimes in marriage, you must give up things." "Did you know, Sir, that this poor wife has never seen her husband's office?" "Bad!" "Come whenever you like, who'll stop you?" "Who?" "This is an office of mystery:" "the usher won't let me pass, the other guy makes a sign for me to be quiet and hides." "Who can be that idiot?" " Your partner." "What are you talking about, dear?" "Ernesto is in Bari!" "No!" "I'm telling you he's in there." "I saw him." "You say he's in there and I'm saying he's in Bari." "Had to be the usher." "Unless he got here and I didn't realize it." "Let's see." "Ernesto!" "See, dear, not here." "But I swear I saw him." " Yeah?" "Ernesto!" "Ernesto!" "Ernesto!" " Here I am, what do you want, Alberto?" "See this:" "I call and he comes!" "Ernesto, you arrive but don't come in?" "Sorry, I just got here and I didn't want to intrude." "Fine, me and the commendatore we're waiting for you." " No worries." "Now all is right, thanks to the lady, we're all ready." "Here's the bill." "Here's the bill..." "Here it is." "What?" "Didn't you bring the cash from Bari?" "Goes to show that..." " What does this mean?" "My partner is in Bari, returns Saturday, the lady says he's here." "What is this farce?" "What farce?" " If your lady didn't come by," "I would've thought your partner was in Bari and I wouldn't have been paid!" "But does this change anything?" " It does!" "And if by tomorrow I don't have it to the last lira," "I'll take away the excavator and the work'll be never finished!" "We'll see..." " And as for you, Ma'am, I pity you:" "An artist married to a con artist builder!" "Did I make a boo-boo?" "Bongo, bongo, bongo, I'd be better..." "Excuse me, Elena, but when I look at you like this, what does it mean?" "I don't know." "I don't get it." " Eh, no?" "I'm sorry." "When I go like this, not to make any comparisons, but... but even the stupidest person knows what it means!" "But what should I understand?" "Excuse me, but you must understand I'm in Bari, right?" "No, I'm sorry, but in my house I never heard of bills of exchange." "We never lied, never deceived and nobody ever looked at me like that!" "And in Rome you need to deceive and to survive you must learn on the run!" "And I tell you I wouldn't understand you, because I went to a good school," "I come from a good family and couldn't possibly understand your signs!" "But your partner..." " Why bring me into it?" "Didn't you agree that he was in Bari?" " Yes." "We were." "She's right." "Why did you show yourself?" "You called me 3 times, insisted..." " Nice, idiot!" "You shouldn't have listened!" "Must you always screw up?" "Where will get the million now?" "But your wife..." " Leave her be!" " Yes, that's between us!" "Sorry, but I thought that our friendship..." "With that excuse, you mess up and I forgive you!" " That's right!" "Idiot!" "Not such an idiot to marry you!" "Since you and your wife think I'm in the way, I say, see ya, Albe'!" "What?" "He's going?" "I'm afraid so." "And what'll we do now?" "What'll we do?" "We?" "You're not mixed up in this!" "This is stuff you're husband must deal with." "And I'm not worried at all!" "Eh?" "I'm smiling, don't you see?" "I withhold from the taxes, they protest and I leave, they can't find anyone, I come back and pay the 3% fine, the account would come to be 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6..." "The percentage of arrears, the family tax..." "Alberto, you're not eating?" "You're pale, weak!" "Mom, you're clammy, you've cold fingers!" "Please, eat, and leave me alone!" "If Gargano gave me an advance, I could give it to Rinaldi," "I couldn't return to work but I avoid the seizure..." " Albe'!" "Listen, mom has a surprise for you..." " Whatdya want?" "It's under the plate." "Don't put on that face, it's a surprise!" " Surprise?" "Pick up the plate, there's a surprise!" " A surprise for me?" "Fine, we'll raise it." "Oh God, what's this?" "400,000 lire?" "Mom, how did you know I needed it?" "Was it you?" "Was it you, my love?" "Thank you!" "Oh, dear mama!" "Beautiful!" "Life of my life!" "What?" "Nobody's eating?" "The soup's getting cold and there's peas, Mommy!" "400,000 peas!" "A little wine, Mommy?" "Aren't you eating, Ida?" " I'm not hungry!" " What?" "Crying?" "Do you know how sorry I am?" " Yes?" "What happened?" "Her boyfriend left her." " The lieutenant?" " We tell people she broke it off but but it was really him." "What a letdown!" "See, doesn't she look like a cadaver?" " I wouldn't say that." "But she'll get another." "She will..." " You say that who live in the city, but now no one invites to parties or dances with her!" " 'Cause she was engaged once?" "She's already had 5!" " All officers?" "No!" "3 officers and 2..." "let's call them civilians." "I can't go back to Viterbo ever!" "Certainly, you're right." "You can't live in the country anymore." "You can't." "See, even he says you must stay in Rome?" " No!" " No?" " Not in Rome." "Who said Rome?" "Not Rome!" "No, Rome is in certain ways even worse!" " Really?" "How is that?" "You can meet with seducers." "Don't you read the papers?" "I want to stay in Rome!" "Even if I wind up in the papers!" "That's all we need!" "But where could you live in Rome?" "Right!" "Where could you live in Rome?" "Where would you live?" "Well, to stay in Rome, I'd be contented just to sleep on a terrace!" " Don't talk nonsense!" "The terrace is open." "Where could you lay?" "The terrace could be covered!" " Attention!" "Mom, Ida, Elena!" "No more talk about the terrace, please!" "But then, what should I do?" "Throw myself out the window?" "And if you do, what can I do about it?" "To avoid suicide, we could give her the maid's room." "Maid's room?" " Thank you, Albe'!" "Wonderful!" "You are so kind!" "I know you'll find a man in Rome who'll marry you!" "Even your sister found one!" " Hey!" "Taking away the check?" "I was a little distracted!" "Are you happy?" " Yes." "Look at this, Alberto." " What?" " Such a refined man, looks like a prince, no?" "Well, he strangled his wife, his sister- in-law..." " And mother-in-law..." " No!" "The mother-in-law sent him to jail." "Where are you going?" "To close the window." " Why?" " There's a hurricane." "You exaggerate." "No!" " No?" "You always sleep with the window open?" " The nuns got me used to it." "Didn't the nuns get cold?" " No." " And I am no nun!" "I'm cold." " Alberto, it's summer!" "Yes, here it comes..." "here it..." "Bless you and many sons!" "Thank you!" "Who said, "Bless you"?" " Why?" "Then she can hear everything!" " We can also hear her too." "How satisfying!" "We lost our privacy." "Listen, Alberto, you now have one goal in life." "Which is?" " Find her a husband." "Where could I find one?" " We'll take her about so she can meet a few people." "There are a million in Rome." "Is it impossible to find one for her?" "You see!" "What a wonderful sensations a motorboat gives one!" "Fanatic!" "This fanaticism and this exhibitionism, I would ban." "See how they go in a motorboat?" "The accidents waiting to happen!" "If somebody underwater raises their head above, they get hit!" "Is that Castelgandolfo's?" "And who said it wasn't a motorboat that cut off that poor woman's head?" "You see he found a woman cut in half..." " I found her in the bushes!" "Gimme a light." " Now I know why they ban bikinis near motorboats!" "No, Elena, don't take my cigarette!" "You know, I smoke only half." " But it's my first of the morning!" "These things drive me crazy!" " And not me?" " Gimme a bit of Coke!" "Keep it, I'll get another one." " No, this is enough." "You let your wife send you?" " Peppino, that boy is driving me crazy!" "Make him get off the swing." " He's been on it all morning." "Carlo!" "Get down now!" " No!" "And don't yell!" "We were saying?" " About letting my wife..." "Must I always stay with old people?" " Who's old here?" " All!" "You're all married." "I'll never meet a young man this way." "Poor thing, she's right." "They're not many youths here." "Then she should go sunbathe at the barracks!" "Why don't we take her dancing tonight?" " With the debts I got, I hafta go dance!" "Commendatore, look at that." " Where?" " Turn to your right." "You think she's pretty?" " I don't!" " I do." "Well, she has lovely hips." " No, she has ugly hips." "Fine, they're ugly, scary..." "Who's that?" "Hi, Albertone." " He was that nut on the motorboat!" "Did you hear the latest?" " No." " I was let off?" " Really?" "A pleasure, Ma'am." " Yes?" " Allow me, Dr. Aurelio Santini." "Mrs. Bucarelli, Mrs. Depretis, my sister Ida." " A pleasure." "Are you married too?" " A bachelor." " Thank God!" "I'll sit next to you Alberto." "Since you've been married I missed you." "Yeah, right." " Did you see the boat?" "We did, it was like a rocket!" " Want to buy it?" "A boat?" "I don't even have a car!" " Done!" "I've a car for you." "How much does it cost?" " Nothing." " I don't want it." " Why not?" "Elena, leave me to business!" "Why does it cost nothing?" "Because it's American, 200,000 lire." " And 300,000 for the registration?" "Albe', 500,000 lire for an American car is a steal!" " Yeah." "Wanna see it?" " Do I look like a clown?" " Who want to go in the boat?" " Me!" "We'll go to Sardinia and be back in 5 minutes." "Excuse me a moment." "Careful of the wedges." " So nice!" " Nice?" "He just left a trial!" " Civil or criminal?" " Civil?" "He just swindled the state!" "Well, he must be a clever man to do that." " You don't think that's a crime?" " No." "Commendatore, you hear that?" "This is where I give up arguing." "Did you see that nice man?" "He said hi." "Tonight we'll visit him in prison." "If I must marry, I'll marry for love." " Yes, for love!" "You love money in the bank and must be a daredevil!" " No, I'm a sentimental guy." "Besides, you can't be a bachelor all your life." "I'm a romantic!" "Romanticism is my cross!" "They make a nice couple." "It really was a coup de foudre." "Coup de foudre?" "He plays the lover to sell the car." "How materialistic you are." " You'll soon find out." "If you help me, I can leave him the car to try out for a week and it'd be an excuse to see you, see?" "Well, if it means seeing you, I'd be happy to." " Will you be in Rome long?" "Quizàs, quizàs, quizàs!" ""Woman is flighty..."" " Are you engaged?" "At this moment, no, unfortunately." " Wow..." "Look how they dance!" "Just like you and me before we got married." " Did I push you like that?" "Remember when I gave you that slap?" "I really..." " How much is 7 times 9?" " 63." "They want me to give at least 630,000 lire, the damn thief!" "What's today?" "You've been asking me that all day: 28." " Sorry, I forgot I gotta call Gargano." "I've asked a question on marriage." "Know the answer?" " Guess it?" "No!" "What a phenomenon!" " Maybe the second'll be better." " You think?" "If he says no, I'll scream." "I'll try being nice." "Hi, Mr Gargano, it's Mariani!" "No?" "And when does he come back?" "He's still at Bari?" "Today is the 28th." "And hasn't he left anything for me:" "a note, a communication, a check?" "Because he owed me..." "No eh?" "You don't know." "Tell him that Mariani called, it's very urgent." "Thank you." "I'll send you to jail!" "Look who's here!" "Albertino, my love, where have you been?" "Look at her!" " Did you change your number?" " Miss Wanda!" "You're so cute and fat!" "You look like a little piggy!" "I'm married." " No way!" " Please, she's watching!" "Since when?" " 4 months." "Since you got married, even your eye color has changed, you've that retarded look." "Who's done this to you?" "I said my wife is looking." "Bye-bye, Ma'am!" "You even call me "Ma'am"!" "You'll see that..." " Who said anything?" "A childhood friend, we were in school together." " OK, OK!" "I'm really sorry." " I don't care anything about it." "Handsome Albertone!" "Come with me in my American car." "No, we'll take a taxi!" "Come on, Albe', do it!" "I don't want a taxi." " It looks crazy, I don't trust it." "You should become my partner." "Believe me, I'm right." "I not only won my case but I also sent the state official to jail." "St, st, st, st, stop!" "A newsstand!" "I'll take the "Evening News"." "What will be the headlines?" "May that American car kill you and who gave it to you and let you ride it!" "Were you scared?" " Jerk, there's 2 ladies, there's my wife!" "Want to make me a widower?" " I'm not scared!" " Well, I am!" "Please yourself." "I'll take her home!" " He'll bring you home?" "See that?" "My sweet sister-in-law!" " Bye!" "We'll settle this later at home!" " Do you have the keys?" " The keys?" "Then Ida has them!" " I knew it, now how do we get in?" "They'll get there first." " Damn!" "Excuse me, is there a taxi?" "Down over there." " Come on." "You should be happy she's being courted!" "A criminal court!" "That guy's a thief!" "My little one..." "What's this?" " The wiper." "Do you like it?" "And that?" " That's the heating." "Do you like it?" "How hot!" " Hot?" "It's just right." "No, Aurelio." " Dear." " Please, I know myself." "Then I start to cling." " So do I, dear." "Well, I don't want to." " Why not?" " I've been disappointed too many times." "But you'll see that..." " And what's this?" "What do you think?" "You're ruining the mood, baby." "Oh, don't be mean." "Damn!" "I'd like to know if a man in my position, who has to think about Gargano, Rinaldi, work frozen, promissory notes, who must get up at 6 in the morning, must be kept here waiting all night for whom?" "Whom?" "Whom?" "His sister-in-law!" "When we were dating, you would've been happy to be outside with me maybe all night." " Don't relive the past!" "I want to know where she is and what at 2 am she's doing with a stranger!" " Stranger?" "He's your friend." "A friend?" "Who knows him?" "He wants to sell us a car!" "Don't be naive, Alberto!" "The car is a pretext to woo my sister." "And I tell you that the wooing is a pretext to sell a car!" " No." "Give time time." "Live a little, learn a little." "See this?" "I'll have to buy that car and I haven't even paid for mom's tombstone." "Mom!" "Mom!" "Uncle is coming with an American car!" "If mama was alive, he wouldn't have bought an American car." "Yeah, he only respected Mama." "They say he has a washing machine, a fridge and a vacuum cleaner!" "And I don't even have a sewing machine!" "My dear, life is a ladder." "They who climb..." " Never give a dime." "Dad, that's not how the proverb goes." "Boys, for you who are in the graveyard." "They say his wife plays the cello all day." " I'd throw it out the window!" "And isn't that what he did?" "Here he is." "I won't say hello anymore since he got married." "Hi, Sofia." " Hi." " Hi!" "Hi, Uncle." " Hi, Alberto." " Hi." "Hi, Otello." "What?" "We meet once a year before this poor woman's tomb and you won't shake hands?" " I said, "Hi, Otello"." "Hi." "Uncle, let's bring flowers to Aunt Giovanna." "Come." "Let's go." " If not we'll be late." "I brought these for mama." " They're lovely." "And so expensive." "Lucky you, who can do it." "How much did the American car cost?" " American?" "It's used." " It's still American." "Yes, dear." " You bought it from your Ida's boyfriend, eh?" "The tall guy, a bit bald, eh?" " You see all?" "What?" "Spying on me?" " As Ernesto says, you're ashamed of us." "I also know your sister-in-law eats and sleeps at your house." "I'm a married man." "I've obligations." "Can't I please my sister-in-law, my wife's sister?" "And my husband?" " Let's go." "Is your sister's husband not your brother-in-law?" "Look what he's come to!" "Doesn't even fight with me." "What does he do?" "He never works?" " If you don't help him, Albe'!" "I already helped him and they fired him from the site!" "He made me look bad." "He'll end up in jail!" "Dad, is Uncle Alberto selfish?" " No." " He never gives me anything." "He always drinks." " Drinks?" "He doesn't even have money to buy cigarettes!" "He works, gets paid and it starts again." " It won't, I promise!" "You who are so lucky, whose business has gone well, who live in luxury," "Albe', take him on as usher!" " But I have an usher, he has 4 kids." "What should I do?" "Fire him?" "Here." " No." "No more charity." "Give him a job." " I can't, Sofi', I can't!" "Albe..." "what would Mama say if she were alive?" "Mama!" "Send him to the office tomorrow." "To make mama happy" "I'll fire the usher with 4 kids." "Dammit!" "Dear Mariani, there's only one man who can give you a contract for the roadhouse and that man is the honorable Tocci!" " Fine, I'll write it down:" "Tocci MP." "Tocci with 2 "c"s?" " Fortunately, he's a friend of mine." "Ah, nice." "Eh. excuse me, Doctor?" " We were saying?" "The roadhouse." " Yes, then the roadhouse..." "I'm very sorry, Sir." "He's a poor devil, 3 years in prison." "Hey!" "He was recommended to me by a priest." "He's my usher." "He has something chronic." "A dry cough due to a nervous condition." "Pardon me, but I know all about it." "It's my profession." "I'm a doctor." "Oh, I didn't know." " A healthy cough." "But annoying..." " A nervous condition found in hypothyroidal individuals." "Doctor, maybe we got off topic." "We went from the honorable Tocci to my usher's cough!" "Have a cigarette?" " Yes, I've exports." " No, American, if you can." "I smoke exports but I hafta buy them..." " Oh, so we use a bell!" "Just call me and I'll come." " A pack of Chesterfields!" "You smoke them?" " No, they're for the doctor." "And get a shave!" "Like I said, a priest recommended him to me and appealed to me so..." "What do you want?" " Mr. Mariani!" "Mr Alberto is busy." " Go tell him." " I said he's busy." "You're the usher, do as I say!" " No, I won't." "What kind of usher are you then?" " I'm not an usher." "I'm his brother-in-law." "And I'm the sister-in-law!" " And I'm the mother-in-law!" " Whoopy doo!" "This is what we'll do: you with my support will show him the roadhouse project." "I'm your boss here!" "If you knew..." " Please excuse me." "Must be some tie up." "One moment." " We'll call MP Tocci." " Yes, I'll call." "Still here?" "Go get the cigarettes!" "What do you want?" "Did you pay for that car yet?" " Yes, why?" "Wretch!" "He's a criminal!" " He left you, eh?" " Yes, today." "I said so." " You knew?" " Of course!" "From the first time I saw him." "Then it's your fault and you'll fix it!" "Help us hold his feet to the fire!" "I'm not going anywhere 'cause I hafta call an MP..." " Call Aurelio first!" "Please let me call him before he escapes!" " Dial the number!" "8, 8, 4, 3, 8, 1." "Is he answering?" "Aurelio, is that you?" " Hello, is this the House?" "I want to talk to the Honorable Tocci." "Battisoni here." "If he says yes, it's yes." "If he says no, it's no." "If he says maybe, we'll see." "Why do you want to destroy the memory of the loveliest moments?" " Let me talk." "Aurelio, please, it's Ida's mom." "Maybe one day you'll feel sorry, but we won't hold a grudge but pray for you!" " Who's this?" "...who cannot appreciate nice things!" " Excuse me, Doctor, it's my mother-in-law." "Hello?" "I'd like... the MP!" "Most illustrious MP, I'm Battistoni, do you remember?" "Battistoni from Empoli." "Did you get the plums?" " Did he?" "Yes?" "Yes?" "Yes!" "Honorable!" "One moment!" "I'll park and be right back!" "You'll be a hit for sure, just wait!" "This is reserved for the authorities." " MP Tocci, just for a sec." "Alberto, don't let yourself be influenced." "Tell him, "My way or the highway"." "He's older than you, be nice but tell it like it is." "OK, Alberto!" " Don't worry." "MP!" "Battistoni from Empoli sent me!" "The prunes were good, eh?" "Disgusting!" "Forget the prunes and be on time!" "Sorry, but the foreign cars today..." " Don't get stupid with me!" "I've used my Fiat for 20 years and I've never been late for an appointment!" "Do you think it's right for me to waste my time with you while they're waiting for me in the House to help solve world problems?" "Yes, now with the problems in the Middle East..." "Forget the Middle East!" "Get to the point, talk and fast!" "I wouldn't think of reproaching you..." " Oh, goody!" "But I feel I've the right to defend my interests like you do yours in the House." "What trash!" "First, in the Parliament, I defend the interests of the country and not mine own and lastly I fight to avoid a new war!" "You!" "You!" "What do you fight for?" "I fight for the construction of a roadhouse, MP." "If I made any insinuations, I apologize." " What are you insinuating, worm?" "In any case, I hope to have your support with the contract..." "No, no, you mustn't hope for my support!" "But I count on it." " It's better you don't!" "The project has already been rejected by the commission." "Then there's nothing left than to thank the idiot who rejected it!" " Oh, yeah?" "Then know that the idiot who shot down the project was me!" "And now I know I did right!" " If I may..." "No!" "It's no surprise." "I know the situation, you and your verge of bankruptcy!" "Sir, when one side without any startup capital and with the lack of cash about..." "Ah!" "You wanted to be an entrepreneur without any startup capital?" "And you want to stifle my ambitions 'cause I never had the luck you had?" "Be thankful that poor woman, your wife is watching else I had struck you a blow!" " Honorable!" "I'll continue to hope, if you allow it." "My respects to you and your wife!" "And congratulations on your parliamentary work!" "Nice!" "You were quick, so that..." " Shut up." "Here's the half-liter, OK?" "Alberto, have a drink, it'll do you good." "How I looked today in front of my wife!" "I really looked good!" "I let myself be humiliated without reacting and instead of being ashamed, what does my wife do?" "Take me out to eat as if we were celebrating." "Who makes you do this, Elena?" "Why?" " Because I love you, Alberto." "Why did you marry me, Elena?" "What do you imagine I can do in life?" "I imagine nothing." "I married you for who you are." "And who am I?" "I'm a nobody." "I depend on them: commendatori, MPs." "Do you know how powerful they are?" "If they say "yes", you're made." "If "maybe", you can't sleep at night." "If they say "no", your life is destroyed." "What am I compared to them, Elena?" "Why say that?" "I know you're worth more than all of them." "One day the MP'll come to you and say, "Do me a favor"!" "What are you talking about, Elena?" "If business goes bad it's my fault." "And if it goes bad?" "You're not alone, you have a family." "You forgot those who love you:" "me, mom, Ida..." "Come on, take a sip." "We can make sacrifices to help you." "I can give lessons in music, mom can sell the townhouse." "Mama and Ida are so fond of you that you're like a son, a brother to them." "Yes, a son!" "A son!" "Son, my foot!" " Alberto, let's go home." "Your mom's a hypocrite who lies." "We'll pass over the sister-in-law." "She's not my sister-in-law by birth and I can't be related to a stranger, right?" "You were a stranger too, remember?" "Then we got married and..." "you caught me but I love you!" "You're right, Alberto, let's pay and go." "And the American car, excuse me?" "Is it my fault, perhaps?" "It's my sister-in-law's fault." "A life destroyed by a sister-in-law!" "Calm down." " Enough!" "Quiet!" "We mustn't argue." "I bow to my sister-in-law!" "Me!" "I survived the war in Albania!" "And I must bow to my sister-in-law!" "I had a future in construction." "A great future!" "Look at me here: a prisoner!" "You've killed my personal initiative, OK?" "I said OK?" " Yes." "You made me fight with a guy who could've made my fortune even if he has a beard!" "Murderer!" "Oxtail stew with celery." "No, no..." " What does cellular mean?" "Love, play the cello." " Let's go, Alberto, come, let's go home." "Take your hands off!" "I'm not going home." " Where are you going?" "I'll do what I think right and what I like." "I want my liberty!" "I have a right to my freedom!" "Fine, you have a right but don't be late." " I'll be super late!" "What's more, call Ernesto and ask his forgiveness, now!" "I'll phone but don't be late." " I told you to go home, right?" "Be quick!" "Evening, everybody." "Are you married?" " Yes." "Happy?" " Quite." " In short..." "Woman has 200 grams of brain less than man." "It's scientifically proven." "Women are the salt of life, that's why husbands drink." "Is there a cat in this restaurant?" "We'll give you the brain..." "Did you see how I have treated my wife?" "Get home, I said!" "Get home, I said!" "I'm a free man!" "And she, dumb as a mute, went to call you." ""Make peace with your friend, I tell you."" "Of course we're friends!" "We who survived the Albanian war!" "We who survived the earthquakes of nature, of modern times!" "Should we let women trample upon us?" "Oh, no!" " Fair?" " Most fair!" "We are young, by Jove!" "We've qualities, we're a united force and if one wants to divide us, I'll crush him!" "Right?" " Very right!" " Let's go have a drink." "No, no, no!" "It's late, let's get some sleep." "And we're not starting from scratch!" " Well, that's true." "I've a lot of things stirring in the pot." "Do you?" " Yes, you see..." "Let's put the pots together so we can have one pot!" "But now you've only the American car." " Let's put that in the pot too!" "Of course!" " You know they wanted you shave your beard?" " Really?" "What's wrong with a beard?" "You like your beard?" " Yes." "Now, I'll grow a beard too!" " No, one's enough." "Beautiful, beautiful!" "Are you my friend?" " What?" "You know it, Alberto." "Shall we talk business?" " No!" "Tomorrow, we will." "With the widow." "Tomorrow we'll put Gargano, Rinaldi and the MP to prison?" "Sure!" "But tomorrow we'll go the widow." "Widow?" " Didn't I tell you?" "A wife of an industrialist." "Her husband's dead and she's filthy rich." "She has building equipment, an excavator." "And does she have cash, Ernesto?" "Tons!" "And if we manage to get her, she can enter in a partnership with us." "Then let's go drink at the widow's!" " No!" "No, tomorrow!" "Let's go home." "Can we put the widow in the pot?" "We'll fling everything in the pot:" "my wife, my sister-in-law, the IGE, my mother-in-law, the terrace." "My wife has a cello but the widow has cash." "Is the widow ours?" "She's ours." " We have a widow!" "Morning, commendatore Rinaldi." " Morning, Sir." "What's he doing here?" "He wants the excavator." " That jerk!" "How do you know the widow?" " Remember before the war, Jenny the Panther?" "She's Jenny the Panther?" " She married the 70 year old Count." "He gave her the excavator and he died." "Dropped dead?" " Yes." " What can we do?" "It depends on sympathy." " Looking for a man, eh?" "She's still a feline, eh?" " You'll soon see." "Is the lady in?" "I'm Rinardi." " Please, come in." "I'll go call her." "I won't go in because of the dog." " Oh, God, I knew it!" " What?" "The dog!" " Dog?" "Where?" "Be good!" "Don't you recognize me?" "Don't let him see you're afraid." "Pretend you belong here." "But I'm afraid." " Act indifferent." " What a dog!" "Enough!" "Ugly son of a bitch!" " What's going on?" "It's her." " Who's she yelling at?" " The dogs." "Let's go." " No, no!" " Let's go." "What do you want?" " Act festive." " Festive?" "Good morning!" "Your competitor just left." "Yes, we saw." "May I?" "This is my partner and friend Mariani." "Engineer Mariani." " A pleasure to meet you." "Contessa, the dog, he's looking at me!" " What are you doing here?" "Get out, spy!" "I'll break your bones!" "Get out!" " Yeah, out!" " Go!" "I've 5 more of them in the garage." "Sooner or later there'll be a massacre!" "I had a cat but my uncle ate it." " Roman?" "By birth." " And why don't you shave?" "I'm an old officer of the Alpines." " Don't be silly." "Just look at your friend." "Much better without it." "Kind words." "I'm always telling him, "Cut off that beard!" "What an unusual face you have." "What a nice contrast, black hair and blue eyes." "Mom had blue eyes." " But come on, let's get comfortable." "Have you seen my excavator, my treasure?" " Yes, we know it, we know the model." "May I?" "A great exceptional machine, a real treasure." "Do you know how much your competitor offered me for it?" " 20?" " 15!" "30 million, stacked this high." "Ka- ching!" "But he won't get it." "I can't stand him." "I don't like men with sweaty hands." "How gross!" "And where is it currently?" "It was being used for a dig on the Po, but it fell in the water and is at the bottom of the river." " See?" "How some people take advantage!" "A woman alone, defenseless, gentle..." "If you knew how many worries that machine has caused me!" "First it began to lose oil and then... it killed my husband and now it's underwater." " Let's get it afloat!" "Let's go there, pull it out and bring it here." "And then?" " And then put it into our hands and become our partner." "And when the machine is used by a serious business like ours, trust me, Ma'am, you can sleep soundly." "No, this is all too complicated!" "I'm getting a headache just thinking about it." "What kind of business will it be?" "Eh?" " Tell her what it'll be." "What will it be like, Ma'am?" "It'd be a bit long to explain but" "I can provide any guarantee, Ma'am, believe me." "Are you free tonight?" "I'm always free, I'm single." "Then forget your troubles, come dine with us and we'll discuss all." "Now we've interests in common, right?" " With pleasure!" "Will you come too?" "Yes, come..." " Sorry but I got something to do tonight." "Good!" "So much better." "With 2 there'll be less confusion." "Are you married?" "Yes, recently." " Is your wife jealous?" "Jealous?" "For heaven's sake, Ma'am, it's a marriage of convenience." "Eh... in a certain sense I'm single too." "Great!" "Then I'll dress like lightning and be back in an instant!" "What do you think?" " Looks good, no?" "Looks crazy to me." "Why did you say you had stuff to do?" "Sorry, but you saw how she looked at me." "You can only do this alone." " Think so?" "But she's not bad, eh?" "Hey!" "I must phone Elena." " It's over there." "Ma'am!" "May I make a little call?" "Where can I take her?" " Somewhere romantic with dancing." "Romantic?" "I can get into trouble for this!" " Dues for the new partnership." "Hello, who's this?" " Hello?" "Elena, is that you?" "I'm at a client's house so I'm not coming home to eat." "I'm not coming home for dinner tonight!" " Alberto, I'm all alone tonight." "Why alone?" "Your sister not there?" " I told you she's going out with the lieutenant." "Fine, if she goes out with the lieutenant, I'm going to eat with the commendatore." "Yes, commendatore!" " But you said you were in a lady's house." "No, I didn't say a lady's house, I said a gentleman's." "Got it, Elena?" "Don't waste my time." "Bye, bye!" "Bye." "I'm tired of living in their house: never a smile, a kind word, any sensitivity." "They don't even have a TV!" " Can you get home later tonight?" "I have to be back by 11 or my saint of a brother-in-law screams at me." "Have you ever been here?" " Before I met you, who would take me?" "Let's go." "What is it?" "I saw somebody." " Who?" "My brother-in-law." " Wasn't he with a commendatore?" "There's the commendatore!" "And they're dancing cheek to cheek!" "Cement, bricks, bars of iron, linoleum." "We're well stocked if you join with us." "With some cash and an excavator, who can stop us?" " Are you free tomorrow?" "For you, always." " Will you come with me to Rovigo?" "To do what?" " To get out the excavator." "We sure will!" " I'll pick you up at 10." "Just think:" "I was going to go with your competitor but instead it's you." "Let's go home!" " Ida, wait?" "What concern is it of yours?" "Are you kissing me?" " Just little kisses of gratitude." "Though you are a young woman and if I may say so, very attractive." "Do you know how old I am?" " 23?" "Yeah!" "I have a son!" " I love kids." "A son who enlisted as a sailor." "Bongo, bongo, bongo, bongo." "I'm going to the ends of the Congo." "Elena, he's here!" "Elena!" "Are you awake?" "Elena, don't go to sleep." "I've news:" "our worries are over!" "At the restaurant, I saw this dessert..." " Where have you been?" "Dining with the commendatore." " How does the commendatore dance?" "Dance?" "Then there's someone spying on me." "My lil' sister-in-law, right?" "What?" "I invite her into my home, give up my privacy and she spies on me!" "Hey!" "I'll throw your ass out!" " Don't change the subject!" "Who was that slut?" "Damn your jealousy..." " Don't touch me with that stinking perfume on you!" "Listen to me, Elena, we're civil people who live in the 20th century and we explain ourselves by words because God has given us words to distinguish us from animals." "Fine." "Talk." "Do you promise not to interrupt me?" " I promise." "Then listen, Elena..." "First of all, there is no "slut" but a lady." "A true lady." "This lady has so many millions, that you couldn't even imagine." "She has construction equipment, cash, an excavator that can do the work of a 100 and an enormous estate in Pordenone." "And I am not a real lady because I don't have an excavator, no equipment, no Pordenone estate!" "I only brought as dowry, my culture and sensibility..." "Is this how you reason, Elena?" "That lady, who among other things, has a son enlisted in the navy, has offered me a contract!" "And to get a contract, you don't go to the office, right?" "You go to a restaurant and dance cheek to cheek!" "Yes!" "Cheek to cheek!" "So?" " I gave up everything for you!" "I gave up things too!" " My school friends, music friends, my cello!" " Your cello, you big baby?" "I'll buy you another one and you can play it again." "Idiot!" "You're right." "Idiot, eh?" "Yes." "And this idiot for now and forever, tells you the following:" "First, in this house the husband is me!" "Second, I do what I want, I go where I like." "I sign contracts with whom, when, however and wherever I want!" "In my job, nobody including you, must stick their nose in!" "Third...!" "What?" "Turning off the lights?" "If you turn off the light you think you'll silence me?" "Third!" "To show you that I do what I like, whenever I like" "I announce that yours truly will go with to Rovingo tomorrow with that lady for two days and nights!" "To sign a contract on which not only my life depends, but my sister-in-law's, mother-in-law's, relatives', dogs and cats included!" "Don't you see I'll get rid of all my debts?" "Why do you always look up?" "What are you doing?" "Answer!" "Statue!" "Look, Elena..." "watch it or I'll slap you!" "Try it!" "Coward!" "Get out!" "Between us, it's all over!" "You call me coward..." " It's over!" "Enough!" "I never touched her, laid a hand on her and she's says, "it's over"!" "Hear her." "Nervous spasms... she gets them, you see." "Big liar!" "Don't you know her by now?" "What are you doing with my pajamas?" "Answer, where are you going?" "Silent, mute?" "What's wrong with her?" "Appendicitis." " Appendicitis?" "What are you doing to the pillow, blankets and pajamas?" "A married wife, half a life." "The lady throws me out of bed, all is ready, it's a conspiracy?" "Appendicitis?" "Never meddle between husband and wife." "What do you know?" "Skidaddle!" "Appendicitis?" "I know her appendicitis!" "But I get wounded on the Albanian front and nobody says a word?" "All quiet then!" "And with sleeping with the window open I almost get pneumonia doesn't count, eh?" "You get appendicitis whenever you feel like, right, Elena?" "Ciociara!" "You're a clever one at making scenes, but I don't believe you!" "I don't believe you!" "Appendicitis..." "Elena?" "Well?" "Still not speaking, eh?" "Hey, you know what I say?" "Good night!" "Bongo, bongo, bongo, bongo, I'm going to the Congo." "I won't stay here!" "Good night, appendicitis!" "Bongo, bongo, bongo, bongo, I'm going to the Congo." "I won't stay!" "Bye and your mama too!" "Bongo, bongo, bongo, bongo, I'm going to the Congo." "I won't stay here!" "Dammit!" "Bongo, bongo, bongo!" "Here comes my mother-in-law from the Congo!" "There she is!" "The old hag is here." "The old hag is here!" "Hey!" "It's natural, eh?" "Visiting the sick... burying the dead!" "Bongo, bong, bongo!" "I'll be fine alone in the Congo!" "I won't stay here..." "Ah, sweetest Ida!" "May I pass?" "Thank you." "Spy, rat fink!" "100 years in the clink!" "Here she is!" " Hi, Albe'!" " Sweet mama, a little visit?" "Elena, my daughter, how are you?" "Did you suffer much?" "What did he do?" "He slapped me!" " Vile ruffian!" "If your father was here!" "And just think I saved his business!" "I should've never got married!" " Given his low origins, are you amazed?" "Bongo, bong, bongo!" "I'll be fine alone in the Congo!" "Just a slap and she's call mom." "Tomorrow, the priest will be here!" "I know nothing." " Listen, ugly, ask my wife where the key is to the cash drawer!" "Go!" "Skidaddle!" "Goodbye, my beauty, goodbye!" "He finally changed." "He wants to know where the key to the cash drawer is." " He's going?" "He packed his suitcase." "The key?" "Let him look for it!" "See, mom, he's leaving with her!" "He has the nerve to leave with her with you so sick?" "He's lost his mind!" " But who is this slut?" "Says her son's a sailor but I don't believe it!" "I'll go." "I stopped your father, I'll stop him." "How is he?" " Very provoking." " He is?" "Ladies, I'm leaving, goodbye." "Look, now there's a thermometer!" "Oh, here comes the hag!" "Please, Ma'am, let me pass." "Let me pass!" "Thank you, mommy." "Bongo, bongo, bongo!" "I'm going to the ends of the Congo!" "My gown!" "Don't you have pains?" " Now my pain begins!" "Mom!" " Elena!" "Did he go?" " Yes, Elena." "With your father, a glance was enough but when Alberto called me a hag I knew there was nothing I could do." "And now, Mom?" "What do we do?" " Elena, he's below!" "I, in your place, Elena..." " Yes, Mom?" "Surely, there's no other solution." "You should've seen the scene, Erne'." "Not a word!" "None?" " None. 12 hours of silence!" "Silent wife, sister-in-law, maid." ""Mama" comes and she's silent too." "Leagued together, see?" " And you?" "I'm silent now too!" "Erne', if I surrender now and don't take command, I'll be a slave all my life!" "Engineer!" "I'm here!" " Contessa, I'm ready!" "Down in a sec!" "On time!" "The bags." " You've got all the maps, the money?" " All." "This time it's in the bag, Erne'!" "I'll get it." "You go to the widow." "Bring my suitcase." "Hello!" "Armida, it's you." "What do you want?" "My wife?" "In the hospital?" "What hospital?" "The Polyclinic?" "My beautiful Elena!" "Ernesto!" " What?" " Elena!" "The Polyclinic!" "What a misfortune!" " I don't understand a thing." "If it's all the same to you, Contessa, I can drive if..." "No, for me it's not the same!" "Take out that suitcase!" "And I don't want to see you ever again!" "Where is the ER, Sister?" "I don't know my way around." "Mama?" "It started as soon as you left." " Is she in a lot of pain?" "Terrible pain, Alberto." " God, can she still have kids?" "Sister Gemma!" "Sister Gemma!" " Who's that?" "Sister Gemma?" "Sister Gemma?" "Why are they calling you?" "Tell me truth:" "Can she ever have kids?" "Was it dangerous?" "Who are you?" " The husband." "Very worried!" "The doctor is seeing her." "May I come..." " No, don't come in!" "The doctor is seeing her, Mama." " Thank you for not leaving, Alberto." "Thank you for all you've done for my daughter." "You are a treasure to me!" "Think about it." " I married for love, Mama." "You must love her." "I put in your hands, now she is yours!" "And I'll go away and she'll be without a mama!" "I'll be a mother to her!" "But how could you?" "You don't even have a mama, poor thing!" "I'll be your mother!" "I'd like to be by your side!" "Yes, mama!" "Always stay by us!" "But where?" " I submit to your will!" "The terrace?" " You said it, Alberto!" "I'd never have thought of it!" " The widow?" "Gone." "The business is over." "What do I care about business now?" "There's only you, my love!" "How will they diagnose her?" " This is great!" "Who admitted her?" "She came in the ambulance." "She had pains." " Pains?" "Pains?" "Nothing's wrong with her!" "Is it possible with so many sick, this idiot wants to trouble those who're busy!" "Excuse me, I'm the husband." "My wife is OK?" " She's very well." "She invented it all!" "Can I see her?" " And hit her too!" " Yes, thank you." "My daughter!" "What's happening?" "What is he doing to you?" "Nothing serious, light bruises." "Is the pillow good like this?" "No, put another one, Ida, please!" "Like this?" " Ah!" "I feel just like a pasha!" "Engineer, a cigarette?" " Sure, Lieutenant." "Thank you." "Here's the radio." " These make me cough." "From the regiment?" "What's that?" "A game?" "Do you mind a game, Lieutenant?" "How about you, Elena?" " Whatever you like I like." "The tea, Ma'am." " Well done, Armida!" "You read my thoughts exactly!" "Is there blackberry jam?" " No, prune, Sir, but I'll bring cookies." "Well done, dear lovely Armida!" "How genteel it's becoming!" "It's like another house!" " The tea." " Give it here." "My saintly Albertino?" " Hi, golden mommy, what is it?" "At the entrance, shall we put tiles or ceramics?" "Mommy, do whatever you like." "Put both if you like!" "On the radio is Bach's fugue!" " Really?" "And the Sganassina?" " Yes, we'll do it but let's listen to Bach!" "Armida!" "You hear the phone?" "Answer and bring it to me!" "Armida, who'll it be?" "Let's hope it's the doctor, so I can say today I'm taking off this plaster!" "The Monsignor is on the phone." " Mommy!" "The Monsignor is calling!" "I'll say hi for you, eh?" "Dear Monsignor, my respects, how are you?" "Yes, always confined because of my fall but I'm not missing out, eh?" "I saw the Holy Mass on tv here in the bosom of my family." "How am I?" "I'm happy to have failed, just think!" "Oh, yes, no worries, no promissory notes, eh!" "The honorable Tocci was right." "You don't know him?" "I've a steady job, 90,000 lire plus commission, Father, which is sometimes more than the pay." "No, candies, Father!" "I'm a traveling salesman for a company in Mantova." "Yes, unfortunately, I travel 6 out of 7 days, Father." "Yes, it's sad to be away from my family." "Away from my wife, my mother-in-law, my sister-in-law, Father." "Eh, what can you do?" "I wasn't born to build houses!" "Yes, Father, but luckily ever since I was kid I wanted to travel, Father." "Will I tire of it?" "Yes I will, Father, but..." "Monsignor, I like to travel." "No, no, I like it!" "The more I travel, the more I like it." "I love it." "Love it!" "Love it!" "Love it!" "Do you like chocolates?" "Chocolates?" "Don't go to any pains." " Pains?" "It's an offer from my firm!" "Capelli of Mantova, famous for chocolates." "Please, ladies, help yourselves!" "Thank you!" " When did we get to "Perma"?" "Modena 2:22, Reggio Emilia 2:41 and Parma 3:02." " Very nice!" "Thank you." "The train is my home now." "Do you get off in Parma?" " Yes." "Do you stop in Parma too?" "Maybe." "Indeed, I should." "Are you married?" "Eh..." "Are you married?" "No." "Single!" "English subtitles by sineintegral@KG"