"THE BEGINNING AND THE END" "Gabriel Botero!" "No, no, Gabriel." "Let Mireya finish preparing the body." "Don't interfere." "Come Now." "But he was fine this morning." "Yes, strong as a bull." "Just a moment, doña Cleo." "He's very heavy." "The dead weigh more than the living." "Maybe it's out of spite." "I'm sorry, child, forgive me." "I mustn't know what I'm thinking." "Stay a while, weep for him." "I'll get over it." "The suit is tattered." "All father's suits are used." "The poor man never cared about anything but us." "He should have also thought about himself." "Why not take him to a funeral parlor?" "Gaby, don't you know how expensive they are?" "Even in death he couldn't keep from coming in second." "And here we are, pinching pennies." "Go away, Gaby." "I said leave," "He's dead, it doesn't matter now." "Let Mireya finish." "Calm down." "You're too sensitive." "You smell like liquor," " don't let Mama see you." " Leave me alone with him." "Go on now." "You, opera, Papa." "It's all you ever had." "Here I am, the thieving magpie, even at your deathbed." "Oh, Gaby, it hurts and it's over." "Later, we'll even forget." "We'll forget sure, but what's to become of us?" "Just tell me." "Someone's coming." "See who it is." "It the Guardiolas and their daughter, Ma." "We're very sorry." "How awful, we're so sorry." "As we didn't have enough money for a wake, we buried him right away." "We didn't tell anybody." "I'm ashamed." "The shame is losing a friend like Narciso." "I'm so sorry." "Now I must carry on alone." "You were his fiend, you Know he never thought about the future." "Should you need anything from me..." "Not a word." "Don't forty rears of friendship mean anything?" "Thank you very much" "Thank you." "You're already making eyes at the girl, and we just buried you father." "Give me Guardiola's gift;" "it's heaven sent." "There's nothing else that can be done." "He was a minimum salary base employee." "All the test were bonuses." "So we'll receive about twelve percent of what we were getting before." "And?" "Tomorrow I'll go to your school and ask for scholarships." "With Mireya, I can't, she doesn't have." "Just one tuition." "We should be able to pay that." "You're not listening." "They'll give us crumbs, a piece of nothing." "Mireya just no good in school." "We have to cut back somewhere." "She sews well." "Anyway, she's always liked it." "This paperwork will keep me busy all year." "Everything will e the same," " just the same." " How?" "Tell me how?" "He's right, nothing will be the same now." "He left us in the lurch." "Like sons of a bad seed." "Riff-raff." "Yeah." "He just couldn't manage, and that's all." "It's easy to be some poor devil, and say," "He just couldn't." "He tossed us into the world, and then just died." "Let someone else listen to your bullshit." "It's hasn't been two weeks since we buried your father, and here you're already drinking." "What do you want'?" "For me to keep mourning?" "I want you to take charge, Guama." "You're the eldest." "Get a job?" "Just like that?" "I'll see what I can do." "No, Guama, you misunderstand." "That's all over." "You bring in money, or you leave." "There's no security blanket here any more." "And them?" "What about them?" "Because..." "Because they've got a future." "They'll study and not drink up all the money." "And poor Mireya, she'll have to support the rest of us." "But I just can't be looking after you." "Not anymore." "Mama, you're hard." "Strange." "I'm alone." "I'm alone." "Drinks are one me." "My father died, Polvorón." "He died, we should toast him." "All that remains for the dead is to be remembered by two or three of the living." "What was it like?" "The way these things are." "You break your ass your whole life, then one day the old engine gives out, and that's it." "He didn't have it in him anymore." "He just never got out of bed." "The drinks are on me." "To your father." "Polvorón, give me a hand." "Just say the word, Guama." "Whatever." "I need a job." "For the family, you know." "Work?" "What you call work, that's a bitch, Guama." "Look, here even the bartenders work for tips." "Anyway, what kind of work?" "I sing." "I'll liven up the place." "No, because you'll just sing any old thing." "You've even sung church music to the customers here." "Look, they may be drunks, but they have their preferences." "I can handle myself in a fight." "I can help at the door." "I'll try you out as a bouncer, but sharpen up." "The door is where we stop all the shit." "Help yourself to whatever you get." "Singing is just a hobby, don't bullshit me." "Guama." "Guama." "Be careful, the mirror is very thin." "The mirror?" "Since I was little, I liked to dance in front of it." "Please take this away." "This hurts me." "One by one, I'm disposing of stuff." "My life, wedding gifts, stuff, but if not, how could I buy our food?" "Please leave the mirror." "Please take that away." "I don't want complaints." "Mireya!" "Let's go where I told you" "I understand, Mrs. Ignacia." "You used to sew for free and now things have changed." "Mireyita, don't worry." "Furthermore, I'm going to introduce you to brides." "It's good for your interest." "Those don't spare money because the groom pays." "Those idiots don't realize that's the only thing the husband is ever going to pay!" " Hey Polvorón, don't..." " Go away!" "Can't you see that I'm busy?" "Chabe, hey, let's take a spin" "Chabe, you know..." "I've got money problems at home, and my mom has gotten tough on me." "She's right, you're a lazy bum." "Yeah, she should have kicked me out years ago." "She put up with me." "Even when I rifled her purse, she never said a thing." "But now I've worn out my welcome." "Stop this, I'm dizzy." "Come over with me." "I need someone to front for me" "You want me to pimp you in style." "Turn everything off when you finish your chat." "Don't touch me." "I told you, I don't like you to touch me." "It's from Guama." "Bye." "Were you thinking about father?" "Guama has left home." "You asked him to, didn't you?" "If he stated, he'd be another mouth to feed, one which could put us all in the street." "He's already lost, the poor boy." "I have to save the others." "Who'd have thought" "I'd end up running off my loved one?" "Oh, but you're the heart-breaker." "Working here, closed in." "Where will you ever find a young man?" "Even the ugly ones find a branch to hang from." "And you?" "Nothing." "I'll be back." "I just found out about your father." "I didn't come by your home personally... we've never met formally." "But I'd like to be with you in your pain." "Even if you're in mourning, can we talk a bit?" "Later, over under the stairs." "Around eight o'clock." "Come on." "From the time your began to develop, I started liking you." "My desire is to believe you." "I'd really like to." "Here's my desire, feel it." "I'll look for you later." "My brothers..." "They've never met any boyfriend of mine They probably expect someone classy." "They'd like muy money." "Real money, not dreams." "With these nickels I can build you a house and all" "Pack up." "I spoke to the landlord, we have to move." "He did us a favor by renting us the basement." "He heard about Papa, but can't be responsible for other's problems." " The house will become an office." " He can't just throw us out." "We've rented here for twenty years." "We have rights." "His attorney says," "'The rights were your father's, not yours." "If one doesn't inherit debts, then neither does one inherit rights. '" "Leave it alone." "Look, the afternoon sunlight filters in nicely." "There's no rooftop, but we can use the air well." "Look." "Our great new life waits us." "Really neat, right?" "So you finally visit us." "How are things going?" "They only way they can." "That's why I haven't dropped by." "One has her pride, and I didn't want you to see me this way." "But woman, there are no regrets among friends." "It hurts me that difficult times haven't brought you to visit us, Nacha." "Hard, very hard." "Sometimes I awake at night in a rage against my husband, saying to myself," "'So easy for you to die, and dump the whole burden on me'" "Could I be crazy, do you think?" "And the kids?" "Does Guama help?" "Spare me." "I'm just happy he left and isn't a burden to us." "The others are about to finish school." "They need to secure their futures." "Mireya is the only one who helps, poor dear." "Fatter cows will come." "And around here?" "So, so." "Things progress, but barely." "Patricio doesn't do well in math." "And Natalia, I took her out of school." "Why?" "Well, all kinds of oddballs slip into the nuns' school." "She'd come home everyday with filth in her head." "After all, doña Ignacia, virginity is not just physical, it's also spiritual." "I must make sure she arrives intact to matrimony, clean in the eyes of God, and of her husband." "A few private classes wouldn't hurt Patricio..." "And your boys, they've grown up sharp..." "Serious." "Trustworthy" "If only father hadn't quit the" "Guardiola business, can you just imagine now?" "That was years ago." "What about now?" "The wheel of life goes round." "Now we're begging from the Guardiolas." "Boys, here's my dunce." "See what you can do with him." "Review Natalia's English." "It brings culture." "Say hi, silly." "The boteros are like family." "Shall we begin?" " Excuse me." " Go on." "What, not enough for you?" "How else do you expect we'll eat?" " What about Mireya's part?" " Mireya's part, yours, and anything else that comes our way, is barely enough for us to scrape by." "You think this doesn't hurt me?" "Mireya breaks my heart, sewing away in here." "And why?" "Just so we can get by day to day." "It won't be for long." "You'll see, I'll give you a life fit for a queen." "Yes, you will, when you're a famous lawyer." "Chauffeur, car, sauna, right?" "Promise me." "You're my gift from heaven." " Come in." " I just stopped by for a moment." "No one will ever separate us." "Nobody?" "Nobody." "Nobody?" "Nobody, not even me." "Cesar, someone's looking for you." "Come in, come in." "I'm tired." "Tomorrow, verbs." "Where are you going?" "To get some air." "So?" "Go on ahead to the house." "All action has an equal and opposite reaction..." "A toda acción corresponde una reacción" "All action..." "Exactly." "This phenomenon can observed any time objects fall great distances... and it's due to the fact that..." " Bye, Nico." " Good-bye." "Here, take care of this, it's what you came for." "What's the matter with you?" "Come on, what's happening?" "Don't you know who she is?" "My girlfriend." "That's right, my girlfriend." "The most beautiful and perfect woman in the world" "And that makes you jealous, Nico, because you wanted her for yourself." "I've seen you." "Nothing gets by me, absolutely nothing." "I prefer everything right and proper." "I'm one of those who doesn't want his little girl running around." "I'd like an endorsement from you of your boy's intentions." "They're young now, but in the blink of an eye, he'll finish his studies." "Until then, my girl will stay here alone, at home." "This way we'll avoid any surprises." "You may not understand me, because you've been lucky." "Your only daughter turned out... serious." "If you were just horny, why didn't you find a hooker?" "You picked on the daughter of the only one who hasn't turned his back on us." "Don't act that way." "He came to 'formalize the courtship. '" "He must have some reason." "I just don't swallow that story about being the old-fashioned kind." "I swear." "We're just sweethearts, that's all." "Its been two months." " Have you touched her?" " No!" "Kisses and all." "Nothing else." "Do you swear?" "Yeah, Mama." "What will I do with two young men of this age?" "But you're a prince, my prince, and I have to keep you on track." "They came to trap a husband for their cow." "Gabriel is too young." "'Formalize'?" "No way." "But they've got him all tied up in their favors." "Where are you going" "To walk around back." "Where else?" "She makes her angry." "She's working, and the other one is coddled by her daddy." "She's not what I'd call pretty, but she's one of those who sooner or later gets a husband." "I'm ashamed to think my sister is supporting us." "The wheel of life goes round, and it's turns are for taking." "Busy?" "The final exam." "Life passes in the blink of an eye." "You and your brother are about to begin your careers." "Soon you'll leave." "You even have a "formal" girlfriend." "Does that bother you?" "You'll forget me and your sister." "How will I ask for your help after you've married that half-wit?" "That's still a long way off." "Of course, you have to finish your studies in the best university." "You weren't born to do things halfway." "Nicolás, the poor boy, takes after his father." "He cowers from life." "Not you, you're going to feast on it." "And if I don't?" " If I can't?" " Don't be so stupid." "You'll fulfill my dreams," "I know you will." "Your dreams weigh heavy on me." "Quick, don't let the owner catch us." "Hey." "What?" "I bet on boxing." "So you see..." "I'm really broke." "No. this time I went overboard." "It was a serious bet." "This is for accessories for my sewing machine, if I don't buy them, my brothers will find out." "I swear." " Is something the matter?" " Go ahead, continue." "Where else can we speak alone?" "What were we going to speak about alone, you and I?" "I went to the CIDOC, and they gave me the forms." "I asked about full scholarships." "They're closed for this year." "Only a few partial scholarships are left." "They don't want a lot of 'brown trash, 'like me, lining up." "You may be poor," " but you're not 'brown trash. '" " Yeah, stinking poor, that's all." " It's..." "It's that..." " What?" "How can I put it?" "If we want to get out of this hole, we must be prepared." "What good is an arts degree for Nicolás?" "You could roll it into cheap taco." "So what's bothering you, eh?" "Mom," "I can't both work and study." "Nico can work." "If he wants to write short stories, all he needs is a pencil and paper." "What about his career and his rights?" "Mama, you saw how it was with father, an obscure little employee from 20 to 60." "Nico is the same." "Dammit, he wants to write." "He'll never be more than an employee." "Like father, like son." "It's no sin to think about things." "If I study right now, I'll work later." "Then I'll take care of him." "I'll give Nico one of those jobs where you don't do anything." "He can spend his time writing" "The Divine Comedy if he's so inspired." "And ruin his life with that burden?" "And ruin his life with that burden?" "You said so yourself." "In life turns are for taking, or else the tide will carry us all out." "There's no other way out." "Strategy." "Strategy and tactics." "Today for you, tomorrow for us, Mama." "Think about Mireya." "I'm the only chance we have." "You shouldn't be wearing an overcoat in this heat." "What else could I wear?" "Have two helpings, it's all there is." "I spoke to father's boss." "He thinks these aren't times for fooling around, Nico." "Studying arts and letters is like throwing four years down the drain." "And if there's no position, the best thing would be..." "So he offered me a job, right?" "He said, 'Doña Nacha, the ability to write isn't lost, and it can't be learned in school." "If the boy wants to write, he can do it at night. '" "He mentioned one possibility, a Secondary School Inspector." "It sounds good." "You give orientation at schools, check up on things." "The position is in Veracruz." "Father licked his shoes all his life, and now the only position he's got is in Veracruz?" "Beggars can't be chooses." "Or maybe you think life is different?" "I'll take a correspondence course from the University." "It's all the same there or here." "I'll try it on just because." "But in Veracruz with that heat, when the hell would I use it?" "When you go to the schools." "You're very young-looking, and clothes impress." "If you dress in rags, who 'll take you seriously?" "The sleeves are a bit long, no big deal." "Your father was your same size." "Gabriel isn't." "He's..." "Nico, before you go," "I have to tell you something I carry here, clawing in my chest." "You know GabrieI is going to a school shere veryone drives cars and all of that." "A rich kids school, and he isn't, Dammit." "You're a dreamer." "And in life studies aren't all that count, relationships do too." "We have to send him in style, or else it's like sending him to the slaughterhouse." "Think of the taxis fares." "You know how late busses run." "Over the long term, over three semesters, the car will e paid off." "What's good for the poor over the long term, never really works out." "It has to." "If your sacrifice is only halfway, what good is it, Nico?" "Gabriel is our high card, and we have to bet on him." "He'll be among the rich now." "He'll have to keep pace." "You know that, Nico." "Yes, I do." "Now folks, a classy number for my father." "Hold the dancing." "Cut this bullshit, Guama." "What's the matter with you, ashore?" "We're brothers." "Then don't make him explain how he let a stranger in." "It's the way things are around here." "Don't be so nervous, he's more drunk than beaten up." "Here." "Nico, is everything all right?" "Yeah?" "Gaby and Mireya?" "No." "In the dark, no sunlight, no light bulbs." "Plain darkness." "It's so good to see you, Nico." "Family is family." "Right, Chabe?" "Chabe is my woman, your sister- in-law." "Go ahead say hello." "We already said hello and all." "Guama, Gabriel jus enrolled." "Do you need money?" "Just to get settled." "And a car so Gabby can study." "As soon as we can, we'll pay you back." "Cut the crap, we're family." "Chabela, give him everything you have from yesterday." "I don't know what it amounts to, but if it's not enough, let me know, and I'll get the rest for you." "Half- assed favors speak poorly of the ashore who grants them, and worse for the ashore that accepts them." "Sure, she earned it with her little ass." "Why, does that bother you?" "It's yours because we're family, right?" "Let Guama lend you a hand." "If not, you'll just be on his mind." "But it's yours." "You're so dumb, that's why he's giving it to you, because it's mine." "Thank you." "Look, it's a gift from your brother before he left." "He says a lady named Isabel will bring us the rest tomorrow." "For your VW." "I started to make your brother's bed the way I always do." "You don't know how much it hurts to choose." "It hurts, son, it hurts." "They piled it on me, so the song goes." "It's not fair, Polvorón." "Where's honor?" "Where your fucking mother is." "Dammed, they broke your nose." "In two days your swelling will go down." "But me?" "Who's going to pay or the damages, goddammit?" "I hired you to avoid paying for broken dishes, Guama." "So you think was my fault?" "So you wanna to play dumb, hush?" "This business has rules." "Get it into your head," "I need you here as a go-between the narks and the dopers, not just as" " some fucking bouncer." "Shit." " No, Polvorón." "One thing is to handle women, drugs are another." "Hey there!" "The hell with scruples, man." "They pay." "Make your money." "Tell them I'll meet them tomorrow night in the little park." "Give me an advance, Polvorón." "My family needs it." "Sure," "Take what you want." "Just don't get smart and split, not one me, or on the others." "Don't mess with the narks, Guama." "They're smarter than you, and you always end up dancing to their tune." "There you go." "Do you know where this street is?" "Come in." "I guess I had an older man in mind." "No women, they're at home too much." "Student?" "How will you pay me?" "I trust your look." "Looks tell a lot." "Come in, come in." "This is my father." "Pick all that up, son." "Let's go, hurry up." "It's the best ventilated room in the house." "I'll take the photo down." "No, leave it." "It's not in the way." "This was my father's room." " It reminds me of my own home." " Really?" "Wouldn't you prefer me to sleep in there," " and you can keep your father here?" " How could I?" "It's his room." "Rent you a room, then put you in the living room!" "No." "Besides if my father gets sick, how do I carry him?" "I'll help you." "Thanks." "No, don't bother, thank you." "Botero?" "Gabriel Botero?" "I saw your tests." "Damn, they're the best twenty years." "I'm Javier Maurer," "I'll be with you in legal philosophy." "What school are you from?" "From Juan Bosco." "Hugh..." "Well, it must be an awfully good one." "I'll introduce you to my uncle." "He goes around a lot with the school founders." "He likes to meet students with grades like yours-he helps them." "At times he can lend his weight to things." "I see." "Excuse me." "No need to cover up, man." "I just came to drop off my father's magazines." "He doesn't need them." "I read to him." "It's all the same to him now." "So I just skip the sports, and read things I like." "Like what?" "Novels to break the routine, my children, my father." "It's hard to be a divorced mother." "It's hard to be a mother, period." "It's been a long time since I've been to the sea." "I miss it." "We coastal people are like that." "One has to smell it, take it in, see it..." "Come along, I'll invite you for a walk." "And leave all this with whom?" "Let Mati take care of it." "I've been here three months, and I've yet to see you put a foot in the street." "Come on." "All right." "Otherwise, you'll say I make too many excuses." "Don't stop, don't." "You know, this is the first time I've danced," "I mean with a woman, close, like a couple." "He might wake up." "We'd better go over there inside." "They all might wake up." "Oh, I feel like an teenager on an escapade." "If they wake up." "They'll all start shouting at you." "At us." "For now it's better to have peace." "For you and for me." "No." "Real life is upsetting." "Why's that?" "Well, then I remember I'm a woman on in years, in trouble, and why the hell am I running around involved with younger men?" "Why not?" "Because it's every divorced mother's duty, not to prowl about, but to set her mind on" "finding a father for her children." "Me?" "No." "You think I couldn't care for your children?" "Don't push it." "Things won't work out that way." "I'm not pushing." "I've just had you on my mind all these months." "I'm the first, right?" "What was she like?" "A little girl." "It was nothing." "I only stared at her and got silly." "She became my brother's sweetheart" "Your brother again." "Get a life of your own, before your brother sucks it all away from you." "Can you believe it?" "You're even paying for his studies." "Life is unbalanced." "Unfair and unbalanced." "Until it isn't any more." "You didn't have to buy the stuff for the house." " I feel strange." " Why?" "I'm not your renter any more." "But you're not these children's father either." "I'd like to be." "By lending you a hand, I pay you back for the joy you give me." "What do you think of that?" "No, not here." "I'm ashamed." "Can you be so silly?" "This way he can see us." "He'll die soon and he can go in peace, leaving me with the man I love," "and who loves me." "Better sit down." "I'll read you yesterday's work." "I wrote ten pages, look." "If it wasn't for your work, you'd be writing 20,30, Who knows?" "You say that because of Gabriel, don't you?" "Over and over again." "You don't know him." " Gabriel is better He's..." " An archangel" "For your mother to say so is one thing, but coming from you, it's like queer or something." "You don't get it at all." "And I never will." "Neither will you, right, Papa?" "I'm busy." "Better later" "I came for the money I lent you." "I just got a bridal job," " and I need the cash for the trim" " Well, tell them you can't do it." "The family's swamped." "Gabriel has to take a summer course he hadn't expected." "Damn, that Gabriel again." "Let him grow up and earn his own money" "If give it to you, why shouldn't I give it to him?" "Because I'm going to marry you, that's why." "Cesar." "Your mother." "She caught us." "Quick!" "Go home." "I left the beans on." " I came to see if..." " Go on." "Can I use the phone?" "I told don Fermín I'd pay for my long distance calls later." "Hello." "Can I speak with Nicolás Botero, please?" "No?" "Tell him we haven't received anything for three pay periods, and his brother has to pay his tuition before the fifteenth." "Yes, all right." "What did you say your name was?" "Fine." "Miss Julia, please give him my message." "Thank you." "A promise is a promise." "If he said he'd send the tuition, he has to come through." "What, you don't care either?" "Me, why should I?" "I left school and I'm stuck to a sewing machine." "Mireya," "what I saw today seemed to me... oh, daughter you have to get married in white." "And?" "You'll have to cultivate some other type." "He's a baker." "I sew to support mysel I don't have a choice." "I don't have a choice, you don't have a choice." " When do I come for the tests?" " Give me some days..." "I have to buy some accessories for my machine." "I'll be back..." "And please don't mix the fabric." "Write down the name:" "Tamara Munguia." "Didn't he tell the time he arrives?" "Nico never has a fixed time." "We agreed to go shopping building materials." "We're repairing the house." "Ok." "Would you excuse me?" "I have work to do." "I have no choice but to work out my problems." "Yes, of course." "You're a close friend of my son?" "Yes Ma'am..." "Why?" "Just asking." "Nicolás has changed a lot since he got here." "So I was asking." "You understand." "If you're asking me whether Nicolás and I sleep together," "I'll be straight with you." "Yes, Ma'am." "Your son and I are together, very together." "Ma'am, I mean no disrespect, but your boy has a beard and everything else." "He makes his own decisions." "You see, he's your burden." "Life is eaten away by sacrifice, why should Nicolás" "be any different?" "It touches us all, you too." "That's what I'm telling you." "Every night I curse my bad luck." "I just do." "It's touches you, and Nico's too." "Gabriel is different." "He's the hope of the entire family." "And so the axe has fallen." "She crucified him." "And he was her favorite." "You know what it's like to be a burden." "You got all caught up with her, and so you'd rather support her little brats than give money to your own." "I haven't paid your brother's school for three months." "You know he's our salvation." "Mireya's, mine, yours, of your boyhood dreams." "We agreed only Gabriel kept our hopes alive, don't destroy those, son." "Don't destroy those." "So how long will I live through Gabriel?" "Until our fate changes." "I wasn't born yesterday, you're giving her money." "I love her, and yes, I give her money." "What about the tuition, enrollment fees, and everything else?" "I spoke to your mother." "I figured you would." "And?" "And?" "What can I do?" "Gabriel has to finish at the University." "That's my commitment." "How long will you continue to live your life through your brother?" "Forever." "And the worst part is, it doesn't bother me at all." "Gabriel was born with a destiny." "I wasn't." "That's our lot." "What can I do?" "Nothing." "It's all done." "Done since long ago." "Better that way isn't it?" "To watch life, but not dip into it." "You've stung me deeply, deeply." "Better find another room, better for you better for me, better for your family." "Now go, there's a chance I'll forget you." "You hurt me too much." "You hurt more than I need." "Julia, if you love me, wait for me." "We have only one life, and that never waits." "never waits." "I need a man, you're still somebody's son." "Worse yet, some dumb ass son." "May I?" "This isn't about dancing." "I do everything and anything." " I only want to dance." " Just dance?" "I charge for my time, no matter what I do." "I'll pay, I will" "You can't build a life based on injustices, can you?" "No, I guess not..." "You're really late." "I wanted to bring it to you finished." "Won't it have to be a bit wider?" "It would make you look rounder." "See, your face looks too full." "My fiancée is thin, so I'd prefer it to fit at the sides so he won't look so skinny." "You know him." "He works in the bakery at your house." "Cesar, the baker." "Dammit, be careful!" "Yes, I know him." "Well that's tough." "He'll just have to look funny." "Him brown and you fat." "Hey, watch your tongue." "You pay me to sew, not to keep my mouth shut." "I say it, and everyone else will too," "'The groom got himself a whale." "'I don't do miracles." "Look, bitch." "You're nothing but a hired lackey." "A starving, rejected lackey." "You're crazy." "What's the matter?" "I don't sew for greasy fat bitches." "Porkers make me sick, even if they do find husbands." "You fucked up my veil." "You'll pay me every last cent." "The fucking witch is nuts." "I may be fat, but why should I hear it from your monkey face?" "Look at your nose before talking, just look at it." "Are you here for your money?" "I said, Thursday." "I know, you just want your little nibbles." "You're such a little whore." "That's why you came." "Hey, what's your problem?" "I met Támara." "So you're going to marry that blimp." "You'll have loads of bread, and meat too." "Tons of meat." "Enough to open a pork chop market." "So you got into her and me." "Why choose her?" "She's just as ugly as I am." "Knock it off, bitch." "She's fat, but she's got bucks." "You, on the other hand, are starving to death." "Look, look here you see." "I eat meat every day." "So does Támara, just so you'll know." "If you don't leave right now, I'll call the cops." "You were no spring chicken you came to me." "If you were a cherry before, it's because you couldn't find anyone brave enough." "So at least thank me for the favor" "Otherwise you'd have died without knowing the taste of a man." "So, ho fuck your mother." "Now!" "Outta here!" "Goodman streetwalker!" "What happened, little Mireya?" "Take my hankie." "Don't be so sad." "Look." "Come in." "Mechanic and magician, because I'm lazy." "But for women it's Pretty Boy." "Who knows why?" "Wash that face." "Don't go home that way." "Your brothers will get mad." "Wash up, go on." "go on." "Over there, straight ahead." "Look, eh!" "A real magician." "All heart." "Wash up." "I've been watching your come and go at the bakery." "I've had my eye on you, but said to myself," "Pretty Boy, easy now." "You'll get your turn" "The rest is just magic." "Oh come on." "I wouldn't lie to you." "Now you'll see shy they call me Pretty Boy." "Here's my magic." "I've got other magic too." "Come have a look." "Asshole." "No asshole." "Let me go, let me go." "Not like that." "It hurts." " Let me by." " No." "It hurts." "Let me by." "I'll pay for a quickie, eh?" "I'll call you later." "Tell me you liked it, or something." "Tell me, tell me anything." "Did you like it?" "Tell me." "Yeah, sure, sure." "Anyway, love from one is the same as from another" "It all feels the same inside." "Botero," "Friday they announce the Ford scholarships." "You're a cinch." "I won't be able to accept it." "They only pay tuition, not the other costs." "Figure something out." "A chance like this comes only once in a lifetime." "If you reject it, they'll never consider you again." "It Wasn't possible and that's all." "One invents, 'that's all. '" "Make the best of it." "How can you say you won't be able?" "What do you know about not being able?" "Let me make you dinner." "I'm not even hungry." "It must be real nice," "I mean at the university and all." "One day you'll have to take me." "Better I don't." "They all think I'm the same as they are." "We have to let them think that." "If they see you." "They'd know." "Better they don't find out where you live." "What do your classmates look like?" "Like Natalia?" "No, they're different, very different." "Better-looking?" "Surely." "You can tel a mile away you prefer them." "Do they make themselves up like in the magazines?" "Tell me how, tell me." "With real straight hair." "No curls." "Almost like they didn't care." " Loose." " Like this?" "Almost." "Make me up like them." "Come on." "Tell me more." "Come on." "There's one." "She's different, she speaks in a deep voice, and has... and has... something, I don't know... strange." "Does she like you?" "Sure does do." "Anybody would like you." "Anybody." "You're getting the towels dirty." "Mireya, get dinner ready." "Better than filling your head with stuff you'll never see." "And remember," "Gabriel has a sweetheart, a serious girlfriend." "He gave his word." " Because he's a jerk." " Mireya." "You just screw the riff-raff, you don't marry them." " Can't you see what we owe them?" " And we pay them in spades." "A prince compared to her, she's a ghetto tart." "He can aim higher." "He can." "Yes, yes, of course he can." "He has to." "He can't shatter our hopes." "No," " leave me alone." " Come on." "They're probably spying on us." "You see, they're like prison dogs." " It's nothing against you." " No, dammit, they treat me like an enemy." "They spy on me." "They set traps." "Your mother asks me how it's going in the University?" "so she can play dumb about the wedding." "You can't be too careful." "You've got shit for brains." "I've seen it too many times." "If you give in easily, they walk over you and leave." "You have to take precautions." "I think about your classmates." "They talk, and they must come on to you." "Don't be the same as your parents." "Give me some space." "As soon as they give me my scholarship," "I'll take you to school to show you off." "You're my goddess, my angel." "You're all I have." "The only thing that's mine." "Just sweethearts!" "Hand- holders, that's all." "Yes, just wet palms." "You're the loveliest, the warmest of sweethearts." "The best." "There must be one who likes you, there has to be." "No dammit, none of them, and all of them." "I like their world, and I'm going to be part of it." "You'll see." "Don't be lame-brained." "Get the scholarship money." "Life doesn't go around twice." "Take me to meet you uncle." "He'll give you a little push." "But about the money, he can't." "That's your hassle, you're and your family's." "Yes, my holy family." "The same as yours." "Ladies and gentlemen." "Meet my brother." "Our very own," "Gaby." "Say hi, Gaby." "Dammit, Guama, I'm not fooling around" " This is serious." " that's all I needed." "I'm all yours." "Ask and you'll receive." "I need money." "Dollars." "To complete my scholarship." "I'll pay you back with interest." "Imagine you talking to me about scholarships." "I'll give you that and more." "Give me two days to settle a little business." " The one you were telling, Polvorón." " Didn't I tell you you'd see it my way?" "My brother's in a big hurry." "How can refuse him?" "Look, Polvorón, my mother didn't make me this way." "She drew him with a fine brush, and me, with crumbly finger paints." "It's so good to see you, Gaby, really." " What a crazy feeling." " This is serious." " Stop fucking around." " How do you think I'm taking this?" "To give you a break, I have to take the chance of all chances." "Guama, keep family at a distance." "They'll move in on you, and then smother you." "You don't understand." "You're shit, and so am I" "That's why we understand each other." "But Gaby, I'd give everything I have." "You see Isabel?" "Do you like her?" "She's on me," "Put your little snake into her blackness." "Touch her flesh, it's like rum." "It improves with age." "No, dammit, no!" "Chabela, show him your paradise." "Go ahead." "It's on the house." "You ought to learn how to treat the ladies." "Don't be a coward." "I'm not backing down." "Gaby doesn't back down, no way." "How does the jacket look best?" "Open or buttoned?" "Open, or else it tugs at the seams." "They're very worn." " How do I look?" " Very handsome." "Nico!" "You didn't say you were coming." "Did they give you an early vacation?" "Is everything all right?" "You're just in time for the party" "Natalia's parents are giving me." "I'm going straight from school." "They're going to announce my scholarship." "Can you believe it?" "What's the matter?" "Do you still have the job?" "Without that money, our whole world will cave in." "I know." "My paycheck is our salvation." "I got transferred." "Are you making the same?" "I'll tell you about it later." "Go along." "Damn, I really missed you." "With all your new friends, why would you even remember me?" "You think you've got all the pressure, and I'm just taking it easy?" "Enjoying life." "You don't know what it's like to be in my shoes." "Your shoes." "You're going to have a career, plenty of money." "I won't be poor." "No fuckin' way." " No fuckin' way." " I'm going to get married and have a family, kids." "And If you hadn't turned out queer in your head, you'd have a woman just like I do." "You're old enough." "I missed you." "Family is family." "You and I have a lot to talk about, son." "A lot." "I cinched it." "I got the money." "You're just in time, they're about to read the scholarship list." "Where did you get it?" "We all have our tricks, and rich family members." "Now, it's a pleasure for me to announce the recipients of the Ford Fund scholarships" "The awardees are:" "Diego Molina," "Isabel, Casauranc, Javier Maurer and Jimena Serra." "And me?" "What about me?" "What about me, Maurer?" "Why not me?" "Grades aren't everything, Gabriel." "There are recommendations too." "Those count." "I brought letters from my teachers." "There are recommendations, and recommendations." "Remember that for the future." "There is no future for me." "We all have a future, Gabriel." "All of us." "It's celebration time." "Gabriel," "What's the matter?" "Has something happened?" "What had to happen." "I lost the scholarship." "Tough luck." "No, no, no." "Tough luck isn't for you, no way." "For you and for us." "You're not alone." "Do you hear me?" "You're not alone." "You're all feeling sorry for me." "Gaby, How can you say that?" "Everyone knows you deserve the scholarship." "Those who deserve them, have them." "I'd better not take you to the CIDOC." "Why?" "Just look how you're dressed." "You threw on everything you could." "You look like a parrot on a perch." "I'm having a party." "Everyone said I was cute." "Sure." "We're all from the same flock." "Clowns, poor, no scholarship, and dressed like bullfighters." "No scenes." "Not today." "Should I take off my earrings?" "Get rid of that hair-do, and that cheap dolly make-up." "How am I now?" "What are you doing here?" "Get out." "It's the bathroom." "They'll catch you." "Why?" "Will you tell on me?" "The scholarship thing isn't my fault, I had nothing to do with it." "It's nobody's fault." "But I'm sick of it." "I've had it, up to here." "I'm tired of everyone breaking my balls." "Don't talk to me like that." "You're going to marry me." "Marry you, bullshit." "I'm tired of making you out to be a saint." "It's over with me." "You hear?" "It's over with you." "Not like this." "Then how?" "Like sweethearts" "Like sweethearts with wet palms." "The way you wanted me, just my hand." "Only my hand." "Gaby," "do it all to me." "Everything." "What?" "I don't like your job at the dress shop." "It's downtown, too many busses." "It's no place for a decent girl." "We ugly women are just ugly." "We're neither decent, nor indecent." "I make a little money there for the foodwe eat." "I turned out ugly and hard-working." "What do you think?" "Lord most high, don't rest until you give our family it's due." "Narciso Botero, Listen to this servant." "Stand by your family." "Grant us foresight and guidance." "Oh, Narciso, The last thing I want to do is punish you, but if I don't, who will help us?" "They were your children, and you didn't protect them." "Guama?" "What's the matter?" "This is thek only time I'll ever ask a favor of you in my life." "You can tell me, no." "Hold this for a few days." "Hide it away." "It's just between you and me." "Our secret." " Like before." " What are you involved in, Guama?" "Don't play dumb, Mama." "You know what it is" "I saw you praying to Father." "Since when have you been doing these things?" "Since day by day I've seen how I assume my Children's sorrow." "Not mine." "Look at me." "I'm a bigshot." "Guama, you left me, and in truth, it's better that way." "Who could have guessed?" "I'd do anything to save the, including loosing you." "Do you remember when we used to go to the movies together?" "You and me together." "Alone together." "If didn't remember, do you think I'd place my life in your hands?" "Guama!" "Surely you'll say I raised him wrong." "That It's my fault." "Now, I can make it up to you." "Holy Virgin!" "Oh my God, no!" "What did I do?" "Guama." "You said so yourself, it's your life." "I'll get it back I'll get it back, I will." "What did I do to you?" "Oh, what did I do?" "He was the one I loved the most, and you knew it." "More than you." "You don't know how much I miss you, dammit." "Here, Mireya." "Thank you." "I hate goddamn blind men." "They're bad luck." "They close more hotels every day." "At least they give you a chance here." "A chance?" "What kind of a chance is this?" "It stinks." "Go on over to Ciudad Azteca." "There's a lot of work, and not many cops." "No, it's too far out of my way." "Hookers don't have a route." "I do." "I have a family." "If I go there, they'll find out." "My brother even has a scholarship to study in the United States." "If you saw him, you'd never believe he's my brother." "He so refined." "Sharp." "What's it to you?" "He may be that way, but you're just rented flesh." "His life is my life." "Although it seems that way, selling it doesn't bother me." "All right, then this one is on you." "I do it because I'm all whore." "It's for the pure pleasure." "You're here just in time." "Just listen." "Don't you like it?" "Just listen how marvelous." "We won't waste your time." "I just brought my friend." "The one about the scholarship." "Introduce me later." "Right now, just listen." "See if you feel enlightened." "You like it." "I can see it in your face." " That you can't fake or hide." " I love it." "My father always played it for me as a child." "I've never stopped listening to it." "And, which one is this?" "Lackmé, by Delibes, sir." "It's one of the most lovely It's magic, pure magic." " Which is your favorite?" " Rigoletto." "My father used to say each of us, his four kids, was a part in Rigoletto." "I was the "Bella figlia de amore"." "That was my theme." " Do you still like it?" " More than that." "There are times I have it in my guts, under my skin, in my flesh." "It makes sense to me every day of my life." "Well, The season is about to begin," "I'll send you some tickets." "Better still, come with me." "As if my family would even want to come with me." "It's like I didn't even know them." " Uncle, please." " Like you." "You want to leave now." "But we only came to see if you'd give Gabriel a hand." "They didn't award him a scholarship, and he's got one of the highest grade averages." "Do you want the scholarship?" "Don't worry." "I'll give you a hand." "Not because of your grades, but thanks to opera." "There are fewer of us all the time, almost a clandestine group." "We have to help one another." "I'm assembling my group of people like yourself:" "decent, from good families, to help one other." "I wouldn't mind at all if you came on as my consultant." "But first, I want you as President of the Student Association." "Why?" "You may know a lot about opera, but nothing about politics." "When did you start smoking?" "I'm pregnant." "How many months?" "Maybe four." "Great." " Why wait until now to tell me?" " I wasn't sure, and then..." "You don't call me, and you don't come by." "I've left messages, and nothing." "I'm taking exams." "So, now what?" "What about what?" " Get rid of it." " Abort it?" "Or what?" "We get married and play house?" "Nonsense." "We were going to get married anyhow, sooner or later." "We were, but no longer." "Now I have to make my future." "If I get married, I'll mess myself up, and you too." "Things like this in life have their cost." "You said you were on the pill." "I just said that." "I never used anything." "And I won't have an abortion." "I want the baby." "It's mine all mine, and no one else's." "All mine." "If you leave me, it'll still mine." "I'm going to have it whether you like it or not, so there." "Have it your way." "All by yourself." "What about Natalia?" "We can't even marry her off." "She's too old." "And that idiot Botero: ever since the death of his father, he's received nothing but favors from us." "So he gets my daughter pregnant!" "Life is too short for regrets, dear." "It was all I could give him." "With his classmates he could talk and laugh about school." "All I had was this," "And I gave it to him." "It was my pleasure, you hear." "Tomorrow we speak to his mother." "He says he won't get married." "I'll take care of it." "Leave it to me." "Your brother got the daughter of our protector pregnant." "You know how he is, and the girl is stupid, so stupid." "But she'll be a good woman." "Guardiola promised to get you work." "Natalia is a good girl." "If you were going to marry that Julia, why not Natalia?" "You were going to care for someone else's kids, at least take responsibility for some of your own blood." "Have you gone mad?" "Times have gone mad, Nico." "It's a debt of honor to your father, to you, to me, to us." "Forget that other woman." "She's in the past." "Over time, you'll thank me." "It's better for everyone." "We won't clip Gabrielle's wings, and we won't leave you lonely." "Yeah, sure." "Sure, to each his own fate." "Why can't I reject mine?" "You'll get over the anger, and the memory." "You're going to marry her?" "You?" "You see." "I'm became the avenger, the Lone Ranger we all have inside." "You've all gone crazy, you, Mother, and the old jerk Guardiola." "That asshole will fuck you up." " I'm going to fuck you up." " Maybe yes, maybe no." "Say no, dammit." "Say no." "Stand up for yourself, goddammit." "Don't put hat guilt on me." "I take your child, you keep your guilt, and that's it." "See, we all have our burdens." "Thinking it over well, you won out." "You always liked Natalia, and I've left her to you all broken- in" "and trained." "Hit me, asshole, please." "Please hit me." "Hit me." "See, Nico, the martyr's role is earlier." "You got off easy." "Me, I've made myself crazy with your dreams." "And now I've got this cross on my shoulders." " Thank you." " Go in." " Am I all right?" " Oh, girl," " you can always tell." " Not with me." "You can never tell with me." "Good-bye, child, you know anything I can do for you." " Oh, daughter." " Good luck." " Thank you." " Good bless you." " Congratulations." " Thank you." "Mom," "I came for my package." "You should be ashamed." "You involved me in your drug dealing." "What did you expect?" "Mom, scold later." "Just give me the package now." "I threw it out." "What?" "What the fuck are you saying?" "No, give it to me." "You think your mother is fibbing?" "No, no way." "My mother signed my sentence." "My fucking death warrant." "Bitch!" "You screwed me, Mother!" "You screwed me, Mother!" "What's the matter with Guama?" "He did it to himself." "He's involved with drugs." "One madman is enough for me." "What's gotten into you?" " What's going on in your head?" " Guilt." "Plain old guilt." "You have no guilt, no faults." "I look at myself say," ""What the hell am I doing in school, with Natalia, with everyone?"" "I'm like a prisoner of your anger, of my ugly sister," "of good Nicolás, of bad Guama," "of my grades, and of my games." "If I said I didn't know if I wanted to be rich, if I told you I didn't want clothes, if I told you I didn't..." "You have no choice, Gabriel." "You're the only one who can get us out of this hole." "Take charge." "It's your good fortune." "I blew it, didn't I?" "Look what you're making me do to you." "Why did you fuck up," "Guama?" "Did you think you could rip us off and keep some for yourself?" "Guama, Guama..." "It's Guama!" "Help me!" "Oh, my god!" "Good evening, everyone." "Careful, or I'll stain my mother's sofa, and she'll really give it to me." "Mom, this is my woman." "She's Chabe." "It's not the best time to meet her, but then, maybe it is." "Since you're both family, my blood will bring you together." "Guama, what did they do to you?" "You look like a bloody Christ." "They only collected for your principles, that's all." "We have to call an ambulance." "At least advise the police." "He really looks bad." "And cause a scandal?" " It will just involve us." " No, no." "Guama will tell us what to do." "What do we do, son?" "I guess you'll have to tell us for him." "Don't do a thing." "Don't call the authorities, or any normal doctor." "At dawn I'll find a way to take him to my town." "I'll hide him there." "Where will he be?" "You shouldn't know, and I shouldn't tell you." "Your sonis with me now, and you'd best forget him." "I'll bring a taxi at dawn." "Be ready." "But, my son, just look at you." "No, no, my son." "Wipe away those looks, he'll know how best to save himself." "But, we'll have to leave here and rent a presentable place far from this scandal." "I've got some money left over from the scholarship, and.." "What money?" "Some..." "Some?" "Where did you get it?" "Where?" "From Guama." "It was you who sent him to the slaughterhouse." "Fucker, you sent him to the slaughterhouse." "He got into this to give you money" "I did what you said Mom." "I took my turn now, so later I could carry you all." "Doctor Tessier." "Mr. Lujan, it's a pleasure." "How have you been?" "Well?" "I've come to intercede on behalf of this boy." "He's campaigning among the students for President of the Student Association, and I support him." "He's a decent boy from a good family, well-heeled..." "Just what we're looking for, sir." "Decent, well-heeled people." "As a special favor, Doctor Tessier," "I'll ask you to take care of him." "Don't let the scholarship pass him by." " Good-bye." " Good bye, sir." "Always a pleasure." "A toast." "With a café au lait." "I'm the student Association President, with a scholarship." "Gather, I owe it to your opera." "The first favor you ever did for me." "You found that useful?" "My future is assured." "Luján has offered me a consultancy when I return." "That calls for celebration, Mom." "Excuse me." "What do you want?" "You again." "I'm only here because they said it was urgent, why else?" "It's a phone call for you." "Will you take it, or not?" "For me?" "At the bakery?" "Who?" "Some guy named Maurer, says it's urgent." "Maurer?" "Does he realize he called a bakery?" "Of course he does." "Who gave him this number?" "Who told him where I lived?" "Wouldn't have been me." "Of course he knows it's a bakery." "You expect me to deny it, or what?" " Hello." " Come right away." "I can't talk on the phone." "I'm at the eighth precinct." "Come." "I told you I was helping my uncle in the precincts." "That he was the top guy." "He says it will serve me well in life." "Look, Maurer, it happens in every family." "One grows up wrong." "It was always like that with Guama." "My brother runs around with all Kinds of people." "It's about your sister," "Mireya Botero." "It is what she told us." " You'd better talk to her." " Mireya?" "I'm letting her out Because of you." "Mireya?" "She's here in the holding cell." "They found her next to a client's body." "He died of a stroke, but it's our duty to arrest all prostitutes, moreover if there's a death involved." "We haven't brooked it as a felony blood crime, but..." "There must be some mistake." "My sister makes the rounds, that's how she is." "She always liked to sew, and since she left the nun's school, we let her go where she needs to." "It's her hobby." "Tell him." "We couldn't stop the newsman." "He covers the beat." "Your sister told him to call her family, that her brother was my uncle's friend, and she was a decent girl." "You should teach her discretion." "Get her right out of here, unless you want complications." "You fucked it up with my uncle." "He doesn't go for this stuff" "Cover up." "Cover up, you Shitty whore." "Cover up." "Your life has already turned to shit, but now Nicolás?" "Me?" "Not me, dammit." " Nobody will know, Gaby." "Nobody." " Nobody will ever know." "Your only told the press, but nobody will know." "You screwed me." "You screwed up my life, you screwed up my career." "You gave them my name, my information, even my address." "Everything." "All of it." "Your probably even made sure they spelled 'Botero?" "Right." "Sure you did." "Cover up." "Cover up." "My damned luck you're my sister." "God must have something against me." "Nobody will know." "I'll do whatever you want." "Whatever you want." "For God's sake, please tell me what you want." " Tell me what I have to do?" " Really?" "I sear I'll do it." "I owe it to you, brother." "You never liked yourself." "What can you do from now on?" "You can't get married." "You won't have children." "You'll just go on lonely and starving." "You screwed yourself over." "There's nothing left to do." "Put an end to this." "Oblivion." "It won't hurt." "It will be over quickly." "Today they elected me President of the Student Association." "Maure'rs uncle won't tolerate scandals, and he works right here." "You, on the other hand made a mess of your life." "You disgraced yourself." "What are you saying?" "What's on your mind?" "We'll say you had and attack of madness." "It will be clear this was a day of insanity and repentance." "will be clear." "I'm afraid." " Very afraid." " No, I'll help you." "The fear will pass quickly." "They say you can't even feel it." "Or else you'll carry this about the rest of your life." "You messed yourself up totally." "You missed your chance." "You were born to be a housewife, now you're a street hooker." "What will you do with your life?" "Tell me?" "What choice do I have?" "I know where." "Yes, what choice, indeed?" "Write:" "I don't know what I did today." "I suffer from attacks..." "Hey, don't lean on that!" "Give me one." "Leave it on the mirror." "In the frame, so they'll be sure to see it." "Whatever you want, Gaby." "Don't tell Mom." "Say they got me mixed up." "That they raped me, that I was a virgin and I couldn't take it." "That I dreamed it all up." "Hey, Mireya." "The same one as always?" "Give me some razors." " The other Kind," " The old-fashioned kind." "I hear you had trouble with the cops." "Not really..." "Give me your things, ID's anything with your name on it." "Here." "Damn, a girl Killed herself!" "She died!" "Genaro..." "Genaro..." "Genaro..." "THE END"