"Hi, you wanna try the new fragrance for Britney Spears?" ""Curious"..." "Are you curious?" "Try "Enchanting" by Celine Dion?" "It'll give you a smell!" " We have to get out of here." " We don't." "You do." "It's your audition, Georgia." "This is not just any audition, Jo." "This is "Damn Yankees" on Broadway." "And Lola is my signature role." "Working here is not what I meant when I said I was coming to New York to find my destiny." ""Destiny," "Destiny."" "All right, well, our break's at noon." "We'll go then." "Somebody would have gotten my role by then, Jo." "So I was thinking that maybe we can just, you know, go to "Plan B"." "No, I hate Plan B." "I wanna go my whole life without having to do Plan B." "Okay, then we won't do it." " Really?" " No." "My allergies!" "Skin blotching." "World fading, still basically a virgin." "Oh, yes!" "Emergency!" "Emergency!" "Hello, okay, so here's the deal." "We gotta go to the hospital, all right?" "So we'll be back in like an hour." "Unless there are callbacks hospital callbacks." "Come on." "Can I just-- I want my epi-pen." "Girl, I am in a hurry." "Come on." "Oh, my goodness, I have arrived." "Hello, ladies." "Excuse me." "Hi, how are you?" "Okay, so this is a very, very special day, all right?" "because years from now you'll be able to tell your grandkids that you were in the room when Georgia Chamberlain was discovered." "Ha!" "And it was also the same day that her best friend lost all sensation in her thumbs." "That's okay, sweetheart, 'cause if you like something, I can just do this for you." "Joe..." "Would you like to take Lola someplace tonight?" "Okay, I'm gonna stop you." "But I'm" "I know what you are." "You're desperate." "You been in the city, what, a year and a half, two years now?" "Joined an improv group with a cute name." "Sold your best boots for that Rhode Island boob job." "But your years of struggle are over because I am about to say the words that are going to change your life forever." "You don't have it." "That's just your opinion." "Do you need my insanely hot girlfriend to say it, too?" "I like it more when they cry." "Let's go." "Out." "You're making my office smell like failure." "♪ Whatever Lola wants ♪" "♪ Lola gets-- ♪" "That's how it's supposed to sound." "Don't look at me like that." "Hmm." "You, come with me." "I need something pretty to look at." " But I" " Shh-- just go with him." "What is this?" "Is this a wig?" "Have you been in a fire?" "Actually, I suffer from "uncombable hair syndrome,"" "also known as pili trianguli et canaliculi." "It's a rare structural anomaly of the hair shaft." "In some cases, it's associated with high IQ and social awkwardness." "And" "I'm preparing to enter a graduate program in physics." "There's the social awkwardness." "I burp when I'm stared at." "I'm not the actress." "Georgia!" "Georgia Chamberlain." "Nice to meet you." "Where would you like me?" "Here?" "Is this a joke?" "It most emphatically is not, my dear casting director." "I've only been in New York for a week, but now you have the opportunity to discover me." "That's the spirit." "Goodbye now." "No, you don't understand." "See, I've played Lola before." "You've also played "Annie," "Evita" and "the Phantom."" "Where was this theater?" "Your basement?" "No, it was in college." "And I got excellent reviews." "How?" "Did your daddy own the paper?" "No, he owned the college and the theater and the paper." "All right, so would you like to hear me read?" "You know what?" "I'm gonna say that I believe that you can, so we're done." "Okay, well, then I'll sing for you, okay?" "Ahem" "♪ Whatever Lola wants ♪" "♪ Lola gets ♪" "♪ and, little man ♪" "♪ little Lola wants you ♪" "♪ give in, give in!" "♪" "♪ give ♪" "♪ in!" "♪" " You have a wonderful voice." " Thank you." "Just like every other girl who reads for me." "But there's a difference between those girls and you." "Yes, there is." "You'll never be a star." "Listen, honey, no one will buy you as a seductress because in "Damn Yankees" when they talk about the big seduction scene, they don't mean the size of the actress." "What do girls say when you say stuff like that to them?" "Do they get scared?" "Do they cry?" "Not me, sir." "And you ought to be ashamed of yourself speaking to a lady like that." "And it's not "honey."" "It's Georgia." "With a "g." Georgia." "And trust me, you won't forget it." "I was gonna put this pen back, but no." "Now I am keeping it." ""Curious" by Britney Spears." ""Curious" by-- yeah, you know what?" "I wouldn't wanna smell like her, either." "Our shift's almost over." "I know what'll cheer you up." "Let's go the bridal registry and play "which couple isn't gonna make it."" " Or we can play hide and seek." "I'll hide." " What's going on?" " Jo, is it that guy?" " Hmm?" "No, no, no, it's not that guy." "Jo." "Why are you blushing then?" "The stress." "I take this job very seriously." " This is too good." " Don't you dare." "Excuse me, sir." "Hi." "How are you?" "My friend likes you." "What are you tal" "Excuse me." "You're Jo Pye, aren't you?" "No, no, I'm not Jo Pye." "Yes, she is." "And she likes you." "I remember your picture." "Your hair is very, uh-- memorable." "She has a syndrome." "I thought you were coming in for your interview." "I will get back to you on that." "We gotta go." "Have a great shopping experience." "Jo's got a boyfriend." "It's not what you think." "He's the head of physics department." "The application went well." "Everything was fine." "I just had to go for an interview." "That was it." "Okay, then what happened?" "Well, yeah, it is kind of cool having a beta particle named after you." "Once you've been published for the third time in the "Journal of Physics,"" "you're kind of over it." "I almost died when I saw that headline." "'Cause the MacArthur people hate it when you call it a "genius grant."" "I have some milk that's about to expire so I should probably go." "That's it?" "You just ran out of there?" "Yes, everyone had these Ivy league degrees, and they'd all been published and their hair was clearly combable." "Jo, that guy practically rolled out the red carpet for you." "Do you see what I have to do to get my foot in the door?" " But I'm not like you, Georgia." " Maybe you should be so one of us can actually do something in this town." "What is all this shouting?" "Modulate, ladies." "Modulate." "I'm sorry, Aunt Honey." "What are you doing here?" "Oh, so sorry to pop in like this." "I told you to think of my downstairs apartment as your own." "And I do so respect your privacy, but I had an eventful evening and I thought it best to give my gentlemen caller a little time to himself." "It's 5:00 in the afternoon." "I know." "The instructions on the package say that now is around the time you should call the emergency room." "Hmm." "Life's such a crap shoot." "ey:" "Ooh!" "So how was your audition, dear?" "There was none." "He wouldn't let me read." "And he said horrible things to me even after I sang." "Oh, well, we'll just have to go over his head." "I'll call some of my Jewish friends." "They're very involved in the arts." "No, Trent Pierce knows casting." "And if he says I'm not gonna make it, then..." "I guess I'm just fooling myself." "Georgia, wait." "Georgia." "Before your mother passed," "I swore to her that I'd look after you as my own." "Aunt Honey, you can't fix this for me." "And I'm not going to." "You are a Southern woman." "And Southern women do not fall apart at the first sign of adversity." "Did I fall apart when I dropped my baton" " in the miss Georgia peach pageant?" " Um-um." "Did your mama fall apart when your daddy didn't even take her to the Magnolia Ball?" "Did your great-grandma fall apart when FDR went back to Eleanor?" "No." "So you stop feeling sorry for yourself, hmm?" "And you think of all the wonderful gifts God has given you and you use them." "I'm gonna tie strings around that man and make him dance like a puppet." "Refresh me, dear." "I'm exhausted." "Hey, babe." "Babe?" "My goodness." "I don't even have a nickname for you yet." "What are you doing here?" "I hope you're hungry." "Look, we have security in this building." "I don't know his name, but he has giant hands and he's gonna ask if you saw the fight last weekend." "Will you please relax, all right?" "I do not have a gun." "I have a picnic." "I just thought that a hardworking man like yourself deserves a well-cooked meal." "So I made us some fried chicken, biscuits and gravy." "Great." "Nascar in a basket." "Smells good, though." "Smells real good." "It's okay, but I don't eat food that's fried or handed through a window." "Is this your girlfriend?" "Wow, she is pretty." "That bathing suit's kinda wearing her, though, isn't it?" " Have you ever felt real breasts before?" " What?" "Oh, my goodness." "I am so sorry." "I say the most inappropriate things when I'm hungry and this food is" "Oh, my goodness, it is driving me wild." "You mind if I just take the teeniest little nibble?" "Why don't you take your dinner to go?" "No." " I think it'll taste good right here." " No." "Ooh..." "Now that's gravy." "Mmm!" "You wanna taste it?" "Please leave." "I'm busy." "That's not what I asked." "I" " I" "I can't!" "Yes, you can." "No." "You don't understand." "Oh, I understand better than anyone, and I promise you one bite of this biscuit, is not gonna turn you back into that butterball you were in the third grade." "How did you know?" "I know." "Oh, yeah!" "Oh, yeah!" "That's good." "Now the chicken." " No." " No?" "Now it's my turn to watch you eat." "No, no, no." "Help!" "That was amazing." "You were insatiable." "I was an animal." "Yes, you were." "Why, it's Trent Pierce." "Whatever are you doing?" "I'm kissing you." "That's what I do." "I see a woman I wanna kiss, and I kiss her." "Not this woman." "Well, then what was all this?" "This was me answering a very very simple question." "In what world would Trent Pierce buy me as a seductress?" "This one." "Persistent." "Very sweet." "What are you doing to me?" "Up is down, big is skinny!" "I need to brush my teeth and do sit-ups at the same time." "Trent's place." "Georgia." "Hey, Jo, what do you want?" "Thank God." "That's not your naked voice." "When Aunt Honey woke up, I was like, "Georgia's making us some good food,"" "and she's like, "it's not for us." "" Then I was like, "what?"" "And then I was like, "oh!"" "Jo, you're the smartest girl I know." "But sometimes you can be a little slow." "You can't sleep with that man to get a part." "Even if he does have that nice beard." "He's not too tall." "He's just the right height and... you're not there anymore, are you?" "What are you doing?" "Hello there, tall, scary, beautiful lady." "Legs." "You were calling my boyfriend." "Why?" "Because I'm fumigating." "I'm an exterminator." "And you guys have a huge ant problem up there." "Then where is your uniform and your equipment?" "I'm an undercover exterminator." "♪ Bugs don't see us coming... ♪" "That's trademarked." "Why don't I believe you?" "Because your legs are so long." "Let's see what Trent has to say." "Okay, I'm trying to make sense of this, and it's still not coming together." "Why are we not rolling around on this pile of losers?" "Well, one, paper cuts." "And second, I couldn't live with myself if that's how I got the role of Lola." "Me again." "Little legs but speedy." "Look, I would not go in there if I were you." "The chemicals that I use are rough on the hair." "I've only been doing this a week and look at me." "Now you listen to me." "I date a casting director." "Do you really think I haven't met a million girls who'd do anything to get a part?" " Trent!" " That is my insanely hot and insanely jealous girlfriend." "You need to hide." "Listen, if you're gonna start messing around on your girlfriend," "I'm gonna need you to get rid of this minimalistic stuff." "Get me some heavy curtains, a bookshelf, give a thick girl something to work with." "You know?" "Okay, what's our cover story?" "I came in for a late audition, okay?" "And I got a callback." "Yes, great story." "Not gonna commit unless it's true." "Look, you are obviously talented." "But the director-- oh, can I touch them?" " No." " Damn!" "2:00 Wednesday." "I smell something fried!" "What's going on in there!" "?" " Thanks for coming tonight." " No worries." "Hey, babe." "Come on in." "There's chicken on the table." "And that is why you have an ant problem." "What's going on in here?" "This is Georgia." "I didn't get to read her today, so she had to come back." "Oh." "Well, I hope she was good." "Sweetheart, I was amazing." "Ant!" "Didn't see me coming, did you?" "♪ Oh, what a glorious morning ♪" "I smell like Brit and I love it." " Everything's so" " My baby." "It's okay." "Brit loves babies." "I'm glad everything's going your way." "Because I'm still just-- oh, my God." "Does that guy live here now?" "Okay, Jo, no." "You are not hiding anymore, okay?" "Now look what you did last night, right?" "You stood up to a "Glamzilla"." "You know?" "I'm sure you can handle "inspector Gadget."" " You're right." "I'm gonna do it." " Okay!" "Ahem." "Professor Farber." "Good morning, miss Pye." "I'm not here to upset you." "I'm just looking for the returns desk." "And I would be more than happy to help you with that, but first, I'd like to have that interview to be in your graduate program." "I'm sorry." "The interview period is closed." "Well, maybe opening this will reopen that." "Yeah, what are you doing?" "I'm not really sure." "But what I do know is that when I was a kid," "I saw a picture in a magazine of all these physicists with their lab coats on and their thick glasses with the dandruff, and I thought to myself," ""these are my people," you know?" "And I swore to myself that someday I would go on my quest and I would find them and they would accept me." "And you would live among them." "Yes." "Please, just give me another shot." "I know that I missed the interview deadline, but time isn't linear." "You call my office." "We're gonna figure something out." "Now which way is the returns desk?" "Only been here a week." "No idea." " I did it!" " You were amazing." "I am so proud of me" " for getting you there." " You're a good friend." "Can you remember that, because my callback is in the middle of tomorrow's shift." "Uh-uh-uh, uh-uh..." "What am I looking at?" "The earrings?" "The hair?" "Oh-- you grew 12 inches." "These are my callback shoes." "Now if anybody asks, they're in the box in Aunt Honey's closet." "I could never walk in those." "Girl, I can do a karate kick." "Can you deal with that?" "I see you borrowed by riding shoes." "Aunt Honey, I didn't know you rode horses." "Oh, child, never been on a horse in my life." "Oh, excuse me, girls," "I just wanna look at my singles ads." " Those are the obituaries." " They're single now." "Flu season has been very good to me."