"♪ So I'm back ♪" "♪ To the velvet underground ♪" "♪ Back to the floor that I love ♪" "♪ To a room with some lace Some paper flowers ♪" "♪ Back to the gypsy that I was ♪" "♪ To the gypsy that remains ♪" "♪ Faces freedom With a little bit of fear ♪" "♪ I have no fear ♪" "♪ I have only love ♪" "♪ But she was just a wish ♪" "♪ She was just a wish ♪" "♪ And lightning struck only once ♪" "♪ And your gypsy ♪" "♪ Your gypsy ♪" "Seems like the perfect holiday for the Faitelsons." "I'm sure that it is life-changing." "Yeah, well, I'd rather backpack than end up on some fancy wine tour." "Well, and you can't ride a bike." "Fuck you." " Jean, it's been too long." " Oh, hey, Allen." "Congrats on the new grandson." " You did a great job with this." " Thank you." "Well, Michael did a wonderful job in Texas." " Aw, thank you." " I heard." "You guys looking at the Burgundy trip?" "Ah, well..." "No, I think Jean wants to rough it more." "I think maybe an ashram in India, or something or a silent retreat." "I never said that." "He's being ridiculous." "She's thinking it, though." "Okay." "All right." "Okay, um, have you had enough small talk with my colleagues?" "Oh, you know how I like to play the perfect wife." "You do a very good job of it." "Mm." "Did you see, um..." "Hey, Alexis." "You look beautiful." "You too, Jean." " Hey." " Hi." "Enjoying the party?" "Yeah, I mean," "I don't know half the people here, but it's an open bar." "My attitude exactly." "It sounds like you guys had fun in Texas, at least." "Yeah." "It was pretty uneventful." "Yeah, it was, you know, work, hotel..." "Still, must be nice to be in the middle of nowhere, right?" "Yeah, I guess." " Hey, honey." "Um..." " Yes?" " Can you grab me another?" " Yeah." " Yeah." " Okay." "Looks like Alexis needs one, too." " All right." " Thanks, honey." "Okay." " How are you?" " Good." "Oh, wow." "Wish I could afford that." " It's so evocative, right?" " Yeah." "So, how's the writing coming along?" "Michael mentioned that you were pursuing it on the side." "Yeah." "Good, actually." "I, um..." "I just found out that one of my stories is going to be in n+1 magazine." "Wow." "It's kind of like an indie version of Salon." "Honey, did you know Alexis's story is going to be in a magazine?" " Oh." "Oh, well, congratulations." " Thank you." " Yeah." " It's, um, it's the one you read." " Yeah." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." " About my dad." " Cheers." " Cheers." "Congratulations." "That's, uh, fantastic." "Oh, it's Bill and Leslie." "I didn't say hello." "Would you mind?" " Sorry." "Excuse us, sorry." "Okay." " Of course." " I'll see you later?" " Yeah." "When did you read Alexis's story?" "A couple of weeks ago." "She wanted me to give her some feedback, but..." " I'd like to read it." " Oh, really?" "Since when are you into creative writing?" "Maybe I'm into a lot of things you don't know about." "I'm sure that you are." "At this point, nothing would surprise me." "Do you ever wonder what your life would've been like if you'd ended up with Catherine?" "No." "No." "No!" "What's bringing this up?" "I don't know." "Just..." "You used to be a major stoner back then." "Used to smoke all the time, right?" " Just made me think of her." " You rejected me." "And I was dulling the pain." "No." "You fell hard for her." "Nearly killed me." "I thought about you the whole time." "Yeah, right." "Even during sex?" "Especially during sex." "You always know what to say, don't you?" "Mm-hmm." " Are you okay?" " Yep." " I got it." " No, no..." " Oh." " Oh, yeah." "Honey." "What?" "I guess I'm just really tired." "Oh." "Yeah." " Yeah, me too." " And full." "Yeah, well, I'm dying to get to bed." "We'll reschedule." "Okay." "Oops." "Sexy." " It's cool, right?" " Yeah, I love it." "It's so evocative." "Mm, well, it sounds like you had a fun night." "Though, you didn't send me a picture of yourself." "Hold on." " Where are you?" " Home." "What do you mean?" "When can I finally come over?" " Whenever you want." " Bullshit." "No, seriously." "I was thinking tomorrow night?" "What's your address?" "It's 309 West 81st Street." " What?" " Nothing." "I, uh..." "I almost dropped my phone in the bath." " You're in the bath?" " Yeah." "Now I'm picturing you." "I'm scrubbing coffee grinds out my cuticles." "Super sexy." "Self-care, it's important." "Thanks, Mom." "Mothers know best." " Do they?" " It's what they say." "I really don't care what people say," "I just don't understand why you can't come here... right now." "I mean..." "I might have to touch myself." "Oh, God." "Give me a consolation prize." "Like what?" "Your last name." "Hart." "I told you." "I'm not on social media." "Yeah, yeah." "You're a fucking ghost, I know." "Well, it's too bad." "I would've let you watch, but..." "I guess you'll just have to wait till tomorrow." ""The two most important days in your life are the day you're born..."" ""and the day you find out why."" "Mark Twain said that." "And Zane ended our meditation with that quote." "And all of a sudden, everything came into perspective." "The purpose of my life." " Which is?" " To give." "Not unlike yours, actually." "I mean, when Rob left my neighbor Pat, I took her in for two months." "Let her stay in my guest room, 'cause I didn't want her to be alone." "And I made her oatmeal every morning, and I took care of her." "Well, that's great, Claire." " It's good to be giving." " Yeah." "But it's also healthy to have your own needs." "We all do." "But, ultimately, by serving others, we serve ourselves." "And by accepting myself as I have, honestly, truthfully," "I hope my daughter will accept me." "Hmm." "I have the same hope." "So..." "I have been telling her about my work in here and my work in meditation." "You know, the whole "letting go" thing." "And she has agreed to see me!" "That's great news." "I'm really happy for you." "Yeah, so I wanted to know how we could work out some time with you." "What for?" "Well, I mean, she wants to come in and do a session with me, and do you remember at the beginning of our work, you suggested it?" "Right." "And I feel you're the only person who could do this healing process with us, Jean." "Right." "Of course." "Um..." "It's just I'm not really, uh... an unbiased source anymore." "I'm very much a part of your journey, your perspective, and..." "I wouldn't want Rebecca to feel attacked." "I think it would be good for the two of you to see someone... that can be fair to both of you." "I'm not very comfortable with that." " I understand, but..." " Jean..." "I really need this." "Okay." "If you truly think Rebecca will be open to it, let's..." "let's do it." " You mean it?" " Against my better judgment, yes." " Hey." " Hey." " Can we talk for a sec?" " Sure, what's up?" "I don't want you to panic, but it's a little troubling." "Oh, no." "Is something wrong?" "Well, it's about Texas." "Uh, if they are recanting their statements again," " I'm telling you, I am not..." " No." "Nothing about the case." "Oh, okay." " It's about your assistant." " Alexis?" "Apparently, there's a story going around that you... were intimate on the trip." "Are you kidding?" "Wow." "Okay." "Listen." "Look, Allen, I would tell you." "I consider you to be a friend." "I would own up to it and tell you if I fucked up." "I mean, that happens to people all the time." "Nothing... like that happened." "Okay." "Then it's a non-issue." "Just wanted to hear from you." "Well, I appreciate you coming to me directly." "Of course." "Hi, Rebecca." "It's Diane." "Listen, I need to speak to you." "Um..." "It's a long story." "Can you call me back when you get a chance?" "Thanks." "Hey, come in." "I have to talk to you." "Yeah?" " You missed it." " What?" "My a capella show." " Oh, fuck, Lar." " It's fine." "It's fine." "I'm..." " Honestly, I'm so over it by now." " No, I'm so sorry." "But, um, it did make me think... in general," "you've been really absent." "You're right." " I haven't been there." " The more I think about it, how selfish you've been, how addicted to your phone, or how you're just lost in your own world..." "I realized that I recognize this behavior." "I remember the signs from Daryl." "He was so aloof, and he was so forgetful." " Operating like no one else existed." " You know me." "Larin, I'm not cheating on Michael." "I couldn't do that." "You remember how paralyzed I got when things weren't good between us." "But you're right." "I haven't been a good friend." "Okay." "What the fuck am I doing?" "So, I found many mentions in print, but no images." "I told you, I like my privacy." "Mmm." "It's like you're not a real person." "I mean, you have nothing out there." " Hey, delete that." " Or what?" "I mean it." " Oh, you're cute when you're angry." " I'm not fucking around." "All right, fine." " Deleted it." "See?" " Good." "What the fuck happened to you?" "What do you mean?" "Something bad must have happened." "I mean... you don't go AWOL with no attachments if your life's been peachy keen." "How do you know?" "I don't think you're a criminal, either." "Yeah, well, I could probably rob a bank and no one would notice." "They might even hold the door for me on the way out." " So you're invisible?" " Mm-hmm." "And you think that means you can do whatever the fuck you want?" "Doesn't it?" "Look, whatever it is, I don't care." "With our lives and our jobs, we could easily just hit the road." "Where would we go?" "Have you ever been to Marfa?" " No." " Well..." "We can road trip there... fuck around." "And then drive our car off a cliff like Thelma  Louise." " Yeah, well, that's not how I'd do it." " Oh, yeah?" "If you really want to escape, you need a plan." "I'd start by renting a Westfalia, send my apologies to my colleagues for missing any deadlines," "tell them I have a second cousin's funeral that I have to attend in South Dakota." "No, fuck it." "South Dakota's way too specific." "Maybe Cleveland or outside Sacramento?" "And we'd go on a regular week, not a holiday." "And... that way, people would be consumed with their real lives, their work." "And then, I'd sell off all my ex-husband's jewelry." "The kind you can't wear for emotional reasons." "And then we'd burn through that money with reckless abandon." "Dude, you're taking way too long on your breaks." "Suck my dick." "What did Allen wanna talk to you about?" "I need you to be honest with me, okay?" " Should we go into your office?" " No, we shouldn't." "That'll just make it worse." " What worse?" " Did you tell anyone about Texas?" " Of course not." "What do you mean?" " Did you mention... anything about me... on our trip to anyone?" "Are you crazy?" "Why would I open my... mouth?" "Dan and Lena in accounting did mention something similar at lunch." "I thought they were just making assumptions." "They probably just picked up on something." "There's nothing to pick up on." " Right." " Could you hand me that, uh... that file?" " I'm gonna have to move your desk." " Don't do that." "That'll only make you look more guilty." " Make people more suspicious." " I know that." "We didn't even do anything." "Doesn't matter." "Now, it's basically the same as if we did." " Hey!" "What's going on?" " Shh!" "It's okay." "Hey, just wait a second." "Tell me." "I shouldn't have gone to that fucking meeting, okay?" "Look, I'm not proud of myself." "Did you?" "It was a moment of weakness." "Okay?" "Couldn't help myself." " And you were with Tom?" " Yeah." "Because I don't have anywhere else to fucking go." "Amber's boyfriend moved back in." "He's a raging alcoholic." "I can't live with my mom." "At least, with him, I have somewhere to stay." "I can sleep through the night." "How do you walk away from that?" "Just to feel good for one night is something." "We could talk to your mom." "Would that help, if I go with you?" "I told you I'm not ready." "Don't push me." "I won't push you." "I'm sorry." "I just want a chance to be a real person in the world." "Like you." " I'm only as real as you are." " No, you're not." "No, you got things." "No, you got things!" "Imagine if you couldn't go home to your fucking suburban life?" " All right, I'm just gonna call him." " No, hold on." "Look..." "I have a solution." "Just for a few days, until we talk to your mom, okay?" "Please." "What is this place?" "It's a friend's." "She's out of town, so sometimes I check in on it." "Diane?" "Yeah." "Expensive looking." "You know, I'm trusting you here." "You really are a miracle worker." "No, I'm not." "My friend Drew, remember?" "Her mom said the same." "Maybe you're my magic pill." "Well, I just wanna help." " It's my job." " No." "No one cares." "They say they care." "They look you in the eye and tell you that your problems matter to them, but..." "Soon enough, they're back debating what to watch on TV, what restaurant to eat at." "I just want you to have a real chance." "I don't want you going back to drugs just because you don't have any options." "You know, if I had a mom like you, I'd give it all up." " Hey there, hot shot." " Hey." "What, you got groceries?" "Yeah, I was gonna make some turkey meatballs." "Oh, that sounds delicious." "How was work?" "Um, it was good." "It was good." "Allen thought, you know, we did a good job... in Texas, and he was happy to see you the other day." "Looking good, mister." " What's your name?" " Oh, you know my name, honey." "Mommy, I'm trying to memorize my lines." "Oh, for the play." "It's so hard when one minute I'm Dolly, and the next, I'm Peter Pan." "It's confusing." "Well, it's acting." "It's supposed to be fun." "And you get to pretend to be someone else." "Yeah." "The best way is just to go over and over it so much that you don't even have to think about it." "You know it so well, and it's inside of you." "You start to believe it yourself." " Can you read Wendy?" " Sure." "What's your name?" "Wendy Moira Angela Darling." " What's yours?" " Peter Pan." "Where do you live?" "I don't know." "Look at me." " Look at me." " I'm looking at you." "What?" "Hey." "Things with Emily are really good." "She's lost some weight and is actually more adventurous." "I mean..." "Last night, in the middle of sex, she even slapped me." " How did you like it?" " The slap?" "I hadn't felt that way in a while." "Um..." " That kind of intensity." " Hmm." "Why do you think she did it?" "Guess she wanted to get my attention." "And what were you thinking about?" "Um, I don't know." "I was in the moment." "Emily's really helping me move on." "She doesn't even let me say Sidney's name anymore." "That's good, Sam." "But as you pursue a relationship with Emily, it's important that you continue working on your unresolved feelings for Sidney." "Right, but I'm over her." "I don't want to talk about her with you." "You seem a little angry." "Was there any aggression?" "Did things ever get physical with you and Sidney?" "Depends what you mean by physical." "Sidney calls it "good pain."" "When you're just toeing that line between hurting and complete fucking ecstasy." "I'm sure drug addicts get it when they shoot up, I don't know." "What did she do... to make you feel that way?" "Well, she'd get mad at me, right?" "And then, we'd fight." "And then, she'd say something like she was gonna go... blow the guys at the bar down on our street." "Take them all home and make me watch while she sucked them all off." "And while she'd start to tell me this, she'd suck on my cock." "It was crazy." "How did you like it?" "Well, I never came as hard as when we did it like that." "It's sick, I know, but I couldn't help it." "And can I ask... how does it make you feel thinking about it here, in this room?" "What are you doing to me?" "Seriously..." "You think you're helping?" "I'm telling you I moved on." "I'm fucking happy." "What do you want me to say?" "That I think about Sidney every time I fuck Emily?" "Sam, it's clear that you seem to have a lot of... emotion surrounding this subject." "I'm sorry for raising my voice." "Look..." "I'm happy that Emily's helping you move on." "It's just what I want." "You know that, right?" "But it's important that you release all of your feelings here with me." "Come in." " Hey." " Hey." "Can you talk for a sec?" "Sure." "What's up?" "I, uh, wanted to apologize for yesterday." "You were... right to say something." "I haven't been honest with you." "I actually haven't been honest with anyone." "I, um..." "I have been having issues with Michael." "What kind of issues?" "Just been fighting a lot and it's part of the reason I've been on my phone so much." "The other night, I was awake at two a.m., and he wasn't in bed, and he was in the bathroom talking to someone on the phone." "Is it his assistant?" "Honestly, I don't know." "I know he's interested." "I can tell from the way he..." "He tries to leave her out of stories." "The way he forces himself not to say her name." "Oh, God." "That's so hard." "I haven't even spoken to him yet." "I don't know if he trusts me after everything that went down." "I mean, that's possible." "When you shut someone out emotionally, you know, it's hard to get the trust back." "And you blurred so many boundaries." "But I was protecting Melissa." "I couldn't tell Michael anything about it." "It would be implicating him." "She's the patient." "I get it, but you know, somewhere along the way," "Michael lost you." "I get that's the price for doing business, but it still has an effect." "I don't know who I'd be without him." "It's like I'm so anxious, and so..." "I'm a mess." "Seriously, I'm scared of you." "Oh." "So, how's it going?" "How's your sister doing?" " She gets out in about two weeks." " Oh, yeah?" "We still haven't spoken, and I'm actually a little worried." "And she's still at Bellevue?" "Yeah." "It's all pretty intense for my family." "Especially my mom." "She's spiraling." "Saugraves!" "Focus!" "What, are you getting me into trouble, Diane?" " You wanted to see me?" " Yeah, hey." "Come and sit." "Man, I'm still exhausted." "I gotta dep downtown..." "Hey, everyone in the firm thinks something happened with me and Alexis." "Yeah, I heard that, too." "Nothing happened, Scott." "Oh, I wouldn't say "nothing."" "You know I saw Alexis leaving your room in the morning." "I don't think that you'd be happy if Jennifer knew that." "Why are you threatening me?" "I didn't say shit." "I depend upon my reputation, Scott." "And I can't have paralegals whispering about me." "And I can't fire her now when everyone thinks that I'm sleeping with her, which I am not." "I didn't say a fucking word." "Then... how... did it get out?" "Tell me." "Enlighten me, Scott." "It is so obvious, dude." "She's in love with you." "She wants everyone to think that you're fucking her." "It's why she came to Texas." "It's probably why she fucked me." "But you're in major denial, man." "You don't think you had some responsibility in this situation." "Whoa, whoa, whoa." "How is it my responsibility?" "By bringing her with you on that trip and hanging out." "Knowing the way you clearly both feel about each other." "It's hard to say where you draw the line, dude." "Okay, thanks." "This is Jean Hart." "These are my recordings." " Can I help you?" " Hey." "Liza, right?" "Oh, Diane." "Hi." "Hey." "Look, I actually left my ID here the other night." "And, uh, I..." "I don't mean to barge in on you, but..." "Okay." "Rebecca." " God, Diane." " Oh, sorry." "You scared me." "Where are you off to?" "CostaRica." "A bunch of us are woofing on a farm down there." "Wow, sounds cool." "Look." "I, um..." "I stupidly lost my ID, so I'm just trying to retrace my steps." "I tried calling you." "I haven't seen anything." "Oh, and, uh... tomorrow, I'm going to a new exhibit..." "Exhibition at the Rubin Museum." " Are you free?" " No, actually." "I'm..." "I'm finally seeing my mother." "Wow." "That's great progress." "Well, she's been insisting that I join her in therapy for so long now." "And I made some pretty big life decisions." "Seemed like... the right moment to get things off my chest." "What... what kind of decisions?" "Um..." "Dax and I are having a baby." "But I just really need to fully separate from my mother before I can become one myself." "I, um..." "I actually..." "I wrote her a letter, since I'll probably be too... nervous to say all this to her face the moment that I'm looking her in the eye." "A letter, that's... that's intense." "Well, will you tell me if this makes sense?" "Now I'm worried." ""Mom..."" "I forgive you, but it's partly 'cause I'm moving on." "What I realize now is I can't continue to work on me or fulfill my life's duties while I'm still trying to take care of you." "So, until you can love me the way that I need," ""I think we should take a break."" "What do you think?" "Honestly, I don't wanna negatively impact your progress with my experiences." "Come on." "Tell me." "Here's what's gonna happen." "The therapist is gonna ask your mom to go through all the ways that you hurt her." "And the truth is, it's her therapist, so... even if she tries to be neutral, it's always gonna be biased." "I mean, she's been treating her for what?" "Years now." "Right, exactly." "If I were you, I would just... take the trip and take some time to rest for yourself, without your mom." "I can't take care of her anymore." "I don't know." "I must've..." "Did you find your ID?" "No, I must've left it at the gym or something." "But hey, listen." "Congratulations on your pregnancy." "That's big news." "You know, I'm beginning to think that we fight so hard against our mothers because we're really just in denial that we might actually become them." "Hi." "I wanted to pick up some coffee." " Ground?" " Sure." "How daring are you?" "Well, do you want the more intense blend or the mild?" "Oh, well, it's for my wife." "We'll go with intense, then." " What's her name?" " Jean." "There you go." "You can keep it." "Thanks." " Here you go." " All right." "Oh, and here's a flyer for my band." "You can check us out on Instagram." "Okay." " Have a good day." " You too." "Yeah, you're kinda the only person I can talk to right now." "Oh, I'm glad." " Looking forward to seeing you." " Okay, good." "Sounds good." "Thanks, Mom." " I love you." " I love you, Jeannie." "Bye." " Hello?" " Hey!" "Hey." "Hi." "We're still good for our date, right?" " It's nothing fancy." " Well, I still wanna look good for you." " Um, I got you something." " Yeah?" "What?" "What were you doing there?" "Well, I know how much you like the coffee and, um..." "Just thought I'd check it out." "It was nice." "I can see why you like it." "Thanks." "The barista gave me a flyer for her band." "Listen." "What flyer?" "♪ Oh, Francine, don't you be so mean ♪" "Not bad, right?" "♪ You don't belong to me ♪" "It's okay." " It sounds so familiar." " Yeah." "All those bands sound the same." "♪ I'd keep you if I could ♪" "Maybe." "♪ I'd make you mine, yes, I would ♪" "Were you into the girl or something?" "What?" "No." "No." "No." " Why the fascination?" " No, I was curious..." "Oh, yeah, I like it when you're jealous, though." "No, you don't." "♪ You and me and my man makes three ♪" "All right." "Anyway, I'm gonna take a shower." "♪ Oh, honey, you look so good... ♪" "Hello?" "Hello, who's there?" "What was that for?" "Don't ever go to my coffee shop again." "♪ Oh, Francine, you ride like a dream ♪" "♪ Just like light through a stone On a crown on a Queen ♪" "♪ Honey, you look so good Look so good ♪" "♪ And you feel so good, feel so good ♪" "♪ I'd keep you if I could ♪" "♪ I'll make you mine, yes, I would ♪" "♪ I'll make you mine ♪" "♪ Oh, Francine, don't you be so mean ♪" "♪ You don't belong to me, belong to me ♪" "♪ Belong to me, belong to me Belong to me ♪"