"ROXY:" "Previously on Army Wives..." "JOAN:" "Sergeant George Polarski is believed to be solely responsible." "There are four dead." "Fifteen others were injured, three of them critically." "We're with the CID." "I ain't talking to you." "I ain't talking to him." "I ain't talking to anybody until someone from this damn Army tells me where my husband is!" "His flight was delayed due to mechanical problems." "JOAN:" "He's fine." " What do you want?" " I want you." "I guess people are in our lives, but at the same time, they're not." "Let's all be there for each other now." "Let's ask, "How can I help another Army wife?"" "Why did you come into that bar?" "For you, Mom." "AMANDA:" "Show me the mother and I'll show you the child." "Amanda's gone." "Isn't she?" "CLAUDIA JOY:" "To rejoin life is to accept what's happened." "But I can't accept it." "I can't move forward." "I can't turn back." "So I hold my breath, living in a suspended state of existence." "WOMAN: (SINGING) Something always brings me back to you" "TREVOR:" "Well, what do you do when you're told no mail can go out for a week due to security concerns?" "You get out a pen and paper anyway." "Dear Roxy, I'm here, and by the time you get this letter," "I might be somewhere else." "But right now, Iraq has got to be the driest place on Earth." "WOMAN: (SINGING) You hold me without touch" "TREVOR:" "Baby, there's no preparing for this." "No books, no pictures, no training." "Just the reality." "WOMAN: (SINGING) Than to drown in your love" "And not feel your rain" "Set me free" "Leave me be" "I don't want to fall in love..." "TREVOR:" "It makes me wonder if sometimes you'd be better off if I'd never brought you into this crazy life." "CLAUDIA JOY:" "Everything that was familiar is now unfamiliar." "What was light is now dark." "And the world seems a vast and unfriendly place." "(MACHINE GUN FIRING)" "All over me" "(MEN SHOUTING)" "TREVOR:" "Death is everywhere here." "In what you smell, hear, see, feel, and somehow, you're just supposed to put it all away, forget you saw it, move on." "...when you touch me for a little while" "Is this hell?" "All my fragile strength is gone" "CLAUDIA JOY:" "Or is hell never to love again?" "(CHUCKLES)" " What?" " You glow." " I glow?" " It's true." "It's just like they say." "Pregnant women glow." "What they don't say is that your breasts feel like someone pounded them with a meat tenderizer." "Which is only slightly less poetic." "Hey, don't you have a doctor's appointment coming up?" "I do." "I know we have to talk about this." "It's just that..." "You know, other than you stealing my toast..." " You saw that?" " I saw that." "Oh, man." "We've been living in perfect marital bliss for three weeks." "I don't want to lose what we have here." "Then we won't." "So no song and dance." "Let's just cut to the chase and ask the tough questions." "Okay." " What about Northwestern?" " What about it?" "Any decisions?" "I called them and declined their offer." "Told them my wife said, "I want you."" "And they understood completely." "I'm trying to get my job back at Mercer." "There's a few glitches." "Like crutches and recent recovery from a bomb blast?" "Yeah, something like that." "Okay, my turn." "You want to keep the baby, Joan?" "I don't know." "I know you do." "I do." "I want this baby even more now, after everything that's happened." "And I know that." "This is going to sound selfish, but, Roland," "I'm on the fast track right now, and I don't want to lose that momentum." "Okay, but, Joan, you act as if a baby will be a detriment to your career." "You're looking at it the wrong way." "A baby is just someone else on your team." " LUCAS:" "I hate you, you stupid head." " Hey!" "No haters." "And no unmade beds and no clothes on your floor." "And get out here and put your pajamas in the hamper like civilized human beings, please." "Okay, Mommy." "I found dirty underwear under my bed." "Do you want that, too?" "That would be lovely, thanks." "(GRUNTS)" "(EXCLAIMS)" "KATIE:" "Daddy's home!" "Daddy's home!" "LUCAS:" "Daddy's home!" "Daddy's home!" "I'm sorry I couldn't be here sooner." "Oh!" "The kids are late for school, and they haven't even had breakfast yet." "Katie, go help your brother pour some cereal." " Okay!" " CHASE:" "Go." "Go." "KATIE:" "Well, I get to pick." "I, uh..." "I know about the bombing, the CID, all of it." "This must've been hell for you." " Yeah." " Well, I'm here now, okay?" "Now?" "But I needed you then, and I couldn't even call you." "You know, I have to get the kids to school, and I got to go to the PX." " Okay." " Okay." "Why did I pick up that plate?" " I know she's gone." "I know that." " We're going to get through this." "We have to." "We just have to be strong." " Have you heard from Trevor yet?" " Nothing." "I haven't told him about the bombing or Amanda's funeral." "I'm like, hello, what happened to the phone calls and the e-mails?" "I mean, I'm lonelier married to him than I was when I was single." "Well, Chase is back." "Chase is back and you're at the PX?" "Are you high?" "No, I'm pissed." "Trevor will call you and write you." "When Chase is gone, he's just gone." "And this time, my kids were scared and they wanted their dad." "And he just shows up when he feels like it." "Well, but it's not when he feels like it, right?" "I mean, isn't that his job?" "EMMALIN:" "I'll go get a cart." "(SIGHS) You sure you're up to this?" "I'm fine." "There's so much to do." "I have to return phone calls, write thank-you notes, fill out forms." "You wouldn't believe all the forms." "Let me help you." "You can come over to my house." " We'll fill them out together, okay?" " I'm fine." "I'm fine." " Now let's just go inside." " Cart." "I can do it." "I can push a cart." "ID cards, please." " Here you go." " Thank you." " Bad hair day." " Thank you." "I'm sorry." "I must've forgotten it." "I don't know what I was thinking." "I have to go back." "That's all right, Mrs. Holden." "We know who you are." "Okay." "I'm very sorry for your loss." "Thank you." "That's very kind." "Pamela and Roxy and I are putting together a cooking and cleaning schedule for you." "Which is completely unnecessary." "Before you fight me on this, you should know that the FRG is threatening to put together a Holden Family Team." "So who do you want in your house all day?" "Us or them?" "Point well taken." "I need some thank-you cards." " Where are they?" "I need so many." " Here." "I'll find someone." "Thanks." "How may I help you, Mrs. Holden?" "I need some thank-you cards, and I can't find them." "I keep looking, but you're all out." " We get a new shipment next week." " Next week?" "That's not soon enough." "Too much time has already gone by since..." "People have been so kind, and I need some thank-you cards to..." "Where's Emmalin?" "I don't know." "She was just here." " Emmalin?" "Emmalin?" " DENISE:" "I'm sure she's around." "Emmalin!" "Emmalin!" " Why didn't you answer me?" " I was just..." "Don't ever do that again, do you hear me?" " Don't ever leave my sight!" " (SOBBING) I'm sorry, Mom." "Please let me go." "You're hurting me." "DENISE:" "Claudia Joy." "Come on." "TREVOR:" "No matter what I do, I can't get any rest." "Mostly because of the mortars, sometimes just because." "But worse than not sleeping is not being able to dream of you." "That's the only thing that keeps me going, knowing that one day, it'll be over." "That one day, I'll wake up back with you and the boys," "and all of this is just temporary." "ROXY:" "The boys picked these for you." "Thought maybe they'd cheer you up." "Not unless they're cancer-curing flowers." "You have stage-one cancer, not stage-four." "And you're in here because of the bombing, not because you have breast cancer." "Roxy, I'm unemployed, I'm uninsured and I'm probably terminal." "If I can't be negative now, what the hell's the point?" "Hey, watch it." "You pull the wrong plug and I'll die." "Guys." "Warning one." "So does the doc have any idea when you're getting out?" "Of here?" "Day after tomorrow." "Well, that seems kind of soon, doesn't it?" "I'm not getting out of the hospital, Roxanne." "I'm just getting out of this hospital." "What are you talking about?" "I'm not Army, remember?" "So this was always just temporary." "They're shipping me off to County with the rest of the civilians." "Oh!" "No way in hell you're going to County." "As I recall, you used to work for me, remember?" "So I'm not your problem, so just forget about it." "T. J:" "Hey!" "There is your problem." "Two boys who are about to lose their heads." "She doesn't mean it, fellows." "She's just a little cranky because she doesn't feel so hot." "Bull." "I always hated kids." "Hey, Roxy." "Hey, look at the happy married couple." " What are you doing here?" " Battling with Betty." "Joan..." "Colonel." "So how far along are you?" "Are you puking your guts out yet?" "You told her?" "Ah..." "Just..." " Excuse me." " I won't tell anyone." "I promise." " Uh..." " It's okay." "Joan." " Joan." " Do they all know?" "Why would you do that, Roland?" "You have compromised my position with the Army." "I'm sure they won't say anything." "It is my..." "It is my obligation to inform my superiors about a pregnancy, and I don't even know if I'm going to keep it yet!" "This is no longer a personal issue between us." "It's now official business." "Well, congrats." "You're at 11 weeks, according to these counts." "I'm surprised you haven't been in sooner." "Well, the pregnancy was a surprise." "We weren't trying." "I tested positive a few days before the bombing and that sort of took over my life." "I'm still in the first trimester, right?" "Yes." "But once the heart starts beating, the odds for a successful pregnancy are much greater." "Would you like to hear the heartbeat?" "(HEART BEATING)" "How are you feeling now?" "Better." " Where's Michael?" " Still at work." "And Emmalin's in her room." "I keep thinking about all those FRG calls we made together." "You know, how we'd leave, believing we said just the right thing to make a widow feel better." "I feel so inept with you now, Claudia Joy." "Everything I say just sounds silly or wrong." "I miss her, too." " Are you warm enough?" " I just clocked in downstairs." "Hey, Roxy." "Great." "Well, I'll be going now." "Denise?" "You do say and do the right things." "Thank you." "CLAUDIA JOY:" "Would you check on Emmalin before you go?" "Of course." "General." "I have the report for yesterday's budget meeting." "I assumed when you left early, you'd want me to cover it." "I did." "Thank you." "If I haven't said so already," "I appreciate you taking up the slack while I was on bereavement." "It was an honor, sir." "With all due respect, you shouldn't feel compelled to rush back." "Helps to keep busy." "Is there something else going on?" "Something I should know about?" "Sir?" "You've got beret in hand." "Where you headed?" "Oh!" "I'm speaking to the 412th on issues of security, sir." "All right." "Come see me afterward then." "We've got a lot of work ahead of us, Colonel." "Yes, sir." "Ma'am, they're ready for you." "You may want to make it a priority." "It's about to rain." " Company!" " SOLDIER:" "Platoon!" "Attention!" "Ma'am, the company is assembled." "Thank you." "At ease." "PAMELA:" "Well, of course it happened." "Of course you lost it." "And who cares if it happened at the PX?" "Your heart is broken." "Who did you lose?" "My brother." "He was seven and I was 15." "How did he die?" "We were buying Twinkies at the gas station, and they shot him." "The bullet was meant for the clerk, but that's how it goes." "Well, he was so young." "And the dying is hard enough, but when it happens out of order like..." "Like that..." "What do you do?" "I mean, how do you get past it?" "There are no shortcuts." "You never get over it." "You just learn to live with it." "But you have love in your life." "Use it." "MICHAEL:" "You all right?" "(SIGHS) Not really." "Maybe you shouldn't come in here just yet, with all these reminders." "I want to be here, Michael." "I know you want me to be strong." "And to be strong for your husband." "Be strong for your child." " That's not what I meant." " Why are we trying to be strong?" "I mean, at the end of the day, what does strong get you?" "I heard what happened today at the PX." "Great." "Yeah, my breaking down in public is just not going to do it for the General's wife, is it?" "Damn it, Claudia Joy!" "I don't care about that!" "They said that you had a panic attack." "I didn't have a panic attack, Michael!" "My daughter just died!" "Our daughter." "And I know that because I was standing there." "I stood there by her bed and I watched our little girl die, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it!" "EMMALIN:" "Stop it!" "Stop fighting!" "It is bad enough as it is, and you're just making everything worse!" "Emmalin." "I'm sorry about last night." "I know this must be confusing for you." "I know you're having a hard time." "Do you think Mrs. Sherwood would let me stay with her for a few days?" "What?" "You want to stay with Denise?" "Just for a few days." "I think it would be better." "Why would you want to stay with Denise?" "So you two can work this out." "It is too hard for me to be here right now, okay?" "I need a break, too." "She was my sister." "WOMAN: (SINGING) Yesterday I thought" "That I walked alone" "And that love was just a memory" "But a nightingale" "Followed me back home" "And my love was waiting there for me" "It was a target of opportunity for a sniper." "We're seeing more and more of this happening." "First time you've seen casualties?" "Yes, Sergeant." "I just met that guy yesterday." "That's a shame." "But, Specialist, this is your life now." "Remember your training and stay focused." "That's how you get through this." "JOAN:" "Sir, I need to brief you on something." "What is it?" " Something personal, sir." " All right." "Sir, I'm pregnant." "Congratulations." "That is fantastic news." "You're having a child." "Nothing like it." "Nothing." "Thank you, sir." "Especially with everything you're going through right now." "And I'd do it again in a heartbeat even if I knew this was going to be the outcome." "What's your due date?" "I'm going to need to start interviewing candidates for your temporary replacement during maternity leave." " But, sir, I..." " No, it'll be fine." "Your position will be waiting for you when you return." "Thank you, sir." "That's good to know, but..." "This is hard to say under the circumstances, but, sir, I'm not sure I'm going to keep it." "You're not going to keep it?" "No, sir." "I don't think so." " Hey." " Hey, Roxy." " You got to help Betty." " Did something happen?" " I thought she was doing better." " Well, that's sort of the problem." "She's being transferred to a county hospital." "I'm sorry." "I went to see that place, Denise." "Betty's going to get worse there, and she's already halfway down the road to, "Who gives a damn?"" "I know, but I'm afraid she's only allowed to stay until she's healthy enough to be relocated." "It's policy." "Screw policy." "There's got to be somebody here who can make an exception." "Well, the only person is the hospital administrator, and it's unlikely." "No, that's perfect." "Thank you." "For the last time, I don't like pepperoni." "KATIE:" "Okay, nobody cares!" "Hey." "Where have you been?" " Claudia Joy Holden's again." " How are they doing?" "Horribly." "Well, their family's been torn apart." " Have the kids had their bath yet?" " No." "We were going to, but..." "I'll do it." "CHASE:" "So is that it?" "You're going to ignore me all day?" "I'm not ignoring you." "I just have a lot of stuff to do." "Like I always have a lot of stuff to do, because you're not usually around to help me." "Okay." "This is going nowhere." "(SIGHS)" "I'm sorry." "Let me just put the kids to bed and we'll talk." "Sorry I'm so late." "I got dinner." "I already had dinner." "It's in the trash can." "I see." "Baby." "Whatever that is, it's..." " It's not welcome here." " Okay." "I got it." "Okay." "I got it." "All right." "You okay now?" "My body's being invaded." "I'm no longer a person." "I'm a host." "I know, sweetheart." "I'm assuming PBJ is still safe?" "We'll find out." "I'm sorry I got so angry at you before." "No, you had every right." "I was out of line for telling anyone about it." "They're my friends, Joan." "They'll honor my trust." "So this doesn't have to impact your decision." "I told Holden today." "I couldn't risk him finding out from someone else." "Sweetheart, I don't want you to feel forced into this." "What if I don't keep this baby?" "Are you going to leave me?" "I've thought about it, Joan, how I'd feel if you didn't keep the baby." "Because these past few weeks have been better than I could have anticipated." "I'm happy." "And as much as I want to be a father, as much as I want to have a baby with you," "I don't want to lose what we have, either." "So regardless of your decision," "I'm not going anywhere." "Are you still mad at me?" " Yes." " Why?" "You know I have to leave." "But I always come back." "PAMELA:" "We need to do this better." "It helps when your partner is a little more responsive, you know?" "Not that." "We do that very well." "And that's part of the problem." "That's not all we are." "We're a family." "And we need to be a family when you're home." "Okay." "We need to be a family when you're gone, too." "The Hump Bar bombing." "Amanda and Marilyn dying." "You have no idea what I went through." "And you have no idea what I went through." "We got word right after the Hump Bar explosion, and they told me your car was there." "But the preliminary list of the dead wasn't complete yet, and for the first time, I thought," ""Pamela." "Oh, God."" "Is this what you go through all the time?" "This not knowing." "I'm used to you not being able to call me." "I control that timeline." "But I am not at all comfortable not being able to call you." "I was terrified." "So you are not alone in this, Pamela." "As much as you think you are, you're not." "Excuse me, Colonel Conley?" "I have kind of a hospital emergency, and they told me that you're the only one who can help me." "I'm in the middle of a meeting with my staff." "Hello, staff." "This will take just a minute." "See, here's the thing." "There's this lady downstairs, and she means the world to me." "And you're about to ship her out because she's not Army." "I don't understand." "If she's a civilian, why is she here in the first place?" "Her name's Betty Camden." "She owned the Hump Bar." "Oh!" "I see." "Well, if she's medically stable now, then we have to follow protocol." "There's really no way that we can continue civilian care at our expense." "You all keep saying she's not Army." "But she had her business, her home and her heart destroyed by one of our own." "That means the Army." "So we got to make it right." "Look, if this is too hard, then I'll bring her back home." "That should be her decision." "I can't be there for her right now, but you can." "I'm very lucky to have you." "Thanks." "Claudia Joy." "We're the lucky ones." "We've always relied on you." "It's been your strength that kept us together." "But I know you, Claudia Joy." "You're not very good at letting other people be there for you." "So..." "Well, if you can, just..." "Just let us help you now." "Okay?" "(CHUCKLES)" "Nope." "TREVOR:" "Despite it all, I'm surrounded by friends here, good people who have my back." "Feels like I've known some of them for years, even though we just met." "But that doesn't mean I don't miss you." "Because I do." "I miss you so much." "MAN: (SINGING) Time, time goes by" "The wars between us die" "For all that's passed us by" "We're gonna believe in love" "Time reveals all the pain" "Do you think I look like her?" "Amanda?" "Sometimes I do and I think it makes it harder for my mom." "Emmalin." " Seeing me all the time." " Your mother loves you very much." "But she loved Amanda more." "Everyone knew that." "That's not true, Emmalin." "Don't you ever think that." "It's just not true." "MAN: (SINGING) We're gonna believe in love" " What is all this about?" " Dinner." " Have a seat." "It's almost ready." " Chase." "I'm a man of many skills." " This looks fantastic." " It's like real food, Mommy." "Hey, don't ruin this with insults." "(CHUCKLES)" "Thank you for this multi-colored food." "Thank you for my gorgeous husband and our amazing kids." "Thank you for this love." "(PHONE RINGING)" "Hello?" "Hey, honey." "It's me." "Frank." "DENISE:" "It's so good to hear your voice." "Yeah, I know, baby." "The whole battalion was out of range." " Yeah." "Trevor's been with you?" " LeBlanc?" "Yeah." "DENISE:" "Roxy's desperate to talk to him." "I'll see what I can do." "Denise, I've been so worried about you." "And the Holdens, how are they doing?" "As well as can be expected." "Emmalin's staying here for a few days." "I can do that, but how do I make this better for them?" "Well, honey." "You just do what you always do, you know?" "You love them." "Yeah." "And the boy?" "How's he taking it?" "Hard." "He loved Amanda so much." "He's gone back to Benning now." "His emergency leave was only a week." "It just tears me up to think about him carrying all this around," " especially during basic." " Yeah." "Baby, I wish I was home so that I could help him through this." "Yeah." "Me, too." "I wish you were here, too." "Well, it's that time again." "I love you, D." "I love you more." "Thank you for coming so early." "Of course, Colonel." "Are you ready to do this?" "Yes." "Will your husband be coming?" "No." "TREVOR:" "I think this letter's about full up now." "So I'm sending it, just as it is." "I'm not going to re-read it, because I don't want to polish any of the truth out of it." "Because you're brave, Roxy, braver than me in some ways." "Open it, open it!" "TREVOR:" "So I know you can handle it, even if it upsets you." " T. J:" "What is it?" " Hold on." "Hold on, hold on!" ""Dear Roxy, I sure do miss you and the boys." ""I hope you're all doing okay, and that everyone's being good." ""Things aren't as bad as I thought they'd be here." ""Everyone has each other's back." ""And once in a while, we get to eat something that resembles food." ""As for the weather, I don't mind it." "It never rains." ""None of that South Carolina humidity." ""Really, everything's okay here." "It's just not home." ""I've been pretty busy but managed to pick up a souvenir."" "TREVOR:" "Authentic Iraqi sand for our sand-of-the-world collection." "Let's hope the next time I have some to add to it, it'll be when we're all together in Hawaii." "Hope you like the view." "What are you going on about?" "They're not sending you to County." "I got you another week." "Roxy LeBlanc, what did you do?" "I took my shirt off." "(BOTH LAUGH)" "And as soon as the week's over, you're moving in with me." "The hell I am." "I can't..." "Button it." "Just until you get things figured out." "And with Trevor gone, I could really use the company." " What's it going to cost me?" " Hmm." "Half the rent, which makes me your landlord." "I thought post housing was free." "Well, food isn't free, especially when I don't have a job." " Half the rent?" " Mmm-hmm." "Well, it's better than taking my shirt off." "(BOTH LAUGH)" "(GROANS)" "I went to the doctor this morning to terminate the pregnancy." "But then I remembered you, your strength, your steadiness and your love." "One thing I do know, is you will be a wonderful father." "So even if I'm no good at this, our baby will still have you." "WOMAN: (SINGING) Life goes on" "But I will think of you" "I'll think of you" "How do I tell you goodbye?" "It's fine to say what's done is done" "Just move on into the sun" " Hi, Mom." " Emmalin." "I thought I could cry there." "I couldn't..." "I just..." "I thought I could," " but it wouldn't come." " Honey." "I miss here." " I want to come home." " Okay." "WOMAN: (SINGING) As I'm letting go" "But I will think of you" "It feels good having people over." "It's not a cure, but it helps." "WOMAN: (SINGING) It's fine to say what's done is done" "Just move on into the sun" "But I can't find the light" "A rainy night in LA" "A long talk that day in May" "The first time that you looked my way" "And I will think of you" "When the dawn breaks" "And the night is through" "When the sun awakes" "Then I'll look up high" "CLAUDIA JOY:" "I keep looking for you, Amanda, everywhere, in every face." "Even though I know you're gone." "Even though I know you can't come back." "But I have to take one small step forward." "I have to appreciate the new life I have here." "I can picture you nodding in agreement, telling me it's going to be okay." "WOMAN: (SINGING) Just move on into the sun" "But I can't find the light" "CLAUDIA JOY:" "For all of us, it's going to be okay." "WOMAN: (SINGING) So I will think of you"