"(GRUNTING)" "Good explosion!" "Drive it, drive it, drive it!" "(GRUNTING)" "You watching 77?" "I'm watching everybody." "You don't need to watch everybody, you need to watch 77." "You his agent?" "Just an objective mom." "His explosion is impressive." "It's not just burst, he can pull, too." "You know, the only reason he went to a double A school, he was a bit of a late bloomer, but he's a big man now." "You should be his agent." "Nice pancake, Seven Seven." "You're moving up those draft boards." "Thank you, sir." "01, 01, ready?" "PLAYERS:" "Break!" "Set!" "Blue 90." "Hike." "Good job!" "Second level, nice!" "Get off my quarterback!" "(PANTING)" "(WHISTLE BLOWS)" "COACH DENNING:" "Play's over!" "The play is over!" "COACH DENNING:" "Save the aggression for between the whistles!" "Daryl!" "All right, back to work!" "Daryl!" "Daryl, stop!" "(GRUNTING)" "(SIGHS)" "(HOUSE HUMMING)" "(WATER SPLASHING)" "What are you doing?" "Canoeing, but I seem to be taking on water." "This is not okay." "Use your own bathroom." "No canoe in my bathroom." "My leg hurts, soaking makes it feel better." "You were the one who had to have this condo." "Maybe next time you should consider amenities, like two full baths, instead of just the joy of outbidding Cuddy." "The guy who signs the loan gets to pick the bedrooms." "Stay out of mine." "Well, then you owe me 35 bucks for the grab rail I installed." "(EXCLAIMING)" "(DARYL GROANING ON SCREEN)" "Hit the kill screen, boss is here." "It's not porn, it's our new patient." "Bummer." "Twenty-two-year-old male, 6'7", 310 pounds." "Clearly has brain involvement." "The guy has no recollection of this entire incident." "Football player." "Those are the ones that get hit in the head a lot, right?" "ER CTed him." "No concussion, no stroke, no cortical degeneration." "And he had a full psych evaluation." "He's not crazy." "So it's roid rage." "You don't think they grow them that big naturally?" "ER also tested for steroids, he's clean." "Only proving that our guy got his hands on the good stuff." "The negative test at least means steroids is less likely." "We should discuss other possibilities." "Why?" "He injects his sore ankles with lidocaine every game, you think he's above injecting steroids?" "Repeated head trauma could damage the base of the brain, leading to a pituitary adenoma, which leaks GnRH." "Pituitary damage wouldn't be visible on a CT scan." "Could cause the excess hormones that could cause the rage and would elude the ER's steroid test." "Fine." "Bilateral venous sampling to find the elevated GnRH," "MRI to find the pituitary damage." "Unless, of course, there is no pituitary damage, in which case, our guy got his hands on the good stuff." "HOUSE:" "Foreman." "Let the peasants handle the peasantry." "Your brother needs to get picked up this afternoon." "From prison." "Your older brother, in case your confusion is related..." "How do you know about that?" "He left a message." "He said he couldn't get you on your cell or at home." "I get it, you're busy, you'll pick him up the next time he comes out of prison." "Is that all?" "You're officially unbusy." "Family is family." "Take the rest of the day, go see your brother." "I have work to do." "Do you feel any pain that's deep and persistent?" "Not just muscles or joints." "Everything hurts all the time." "That's football." "It might not be just football." "We're going to test for damage to your pituitary." "If there is, it could create excess hormones, which could be causing your pain." "It would also explain your rage attack." "And if my pituitary is damaged, how long would it take to treat?" "I don't want to get ahead of ourselves and start promising deadlines." "I'm sorry, Doctor, but he's playing in front of pro scouts, coaches and GMs this Saturday." "This is the job interview for the rest of his life." "If we do find something wrong, we can go in through the nose and repair the damage, nothing too invasive." "You'll need a couple of days of recovery, and then we can have you back by game time." "Thank you, Doctor." "There's nothing wrong with your eyes." "Well, then, your gizmo's broken." "I'm seeing spots." "Or you enlisted, you got the cool haircut and the awesome pants, then you realized that your plane ticket to the Middle East was coach, and you decided to rethink your promise." "No." "I've already been there." "Three deployments." "Now they want me to go again." "But my wife's pregnant." "So our Homeland should be unsafe because your Private was unsafe?" "(SIGHS)" "Look, my wife and I planned this perfect." "My enlistment was supposed to be over last week, so we got pregnant six months ago." "Now they tell me I'm getting stop-Iossed." "Army speak for they don't care about the fact that I've finished my contract." "I don't care about the fact that they don't care." "Hey, come on, I waited an extra hour just to make sure I got you." "Why?" "I saw you limping out there." "Vietnam?" "Viet..." "How old do you think I am?" "I don't know." "Vietnam age?" "Well, back in my day the real dodgers had the stones to run off to Canada or shoot themselves in the foot." "They didn't come to free clinics whining for doctors' notes." "Go hug your wife, tell her to get a babysitter, and you'll be back in time to video the kid's first steps." "Yeah, I don't need to see the scan." "I can tell from your little puppy dog eyes that his pituitary's fine." "Are you gonna say it, or should I?" "You were right about the steroids." "You're a genius." "Next time, with feeling." "Put the cheater on a somatostatin analogue to clear it out of his system, send him back to his football game." "I've never done steroids." "Well, somehow your GnRH got elevated." "This will help get it back down." "Mom, I swear!" "Who's gonna draft you, Daryl?" "You're stupid enough to try that stuff, especially the week you know you're getting tested?" "You guys must have mixed up your labs or got somebody else's blood, because I never... (MONITOR BEEPING RAPIDLY)" "Okay, what is that?" "Tachycardia." "Lay back down, Daryl." "(DARYL GASPS)" "Why's my heart beating like this?" "It's not steroids." "I need some adenosine, and get that crash cart over here." "(GROANING)" "House, next time..." "Marcus." "Oh, right." "You two know each other." "What are you doing here?" "Interviewing." "Oh." "Who are we kidding?" "Interview's over, you got the job." "What job?" "My new assistant." "Part of his parole, he needs a job." "Just trying to do my part." "You were wrong about the steroids." "Patient had a paroxysmal tachycardia." "We cardioverted him back to sinus rhythm." "We're going to get a EKG and a sestamibi scan." "Marcus, let's talk outside." "Family is family." "Hey, good to see you, too." "Did you have a hard stretch?" "Not bad, I hardly got raped at all." "You can't work here." "But your boss says I can." "I'm not playing." "Lighten up." "I mean, this could be fun." "I get to see your world." "You get me access to the pharmacy." "I am playing." "Come on, man." "You look good." "I'd already know that, if you came to visit every once in a while, but whatever, I get it." "It's cool." "You don't wanna see me, you don't wanna pick me up." "It's all justified." "I'll just have to win you back over." "Let me explain something." "This man who's offering you the job?" "He's not a philanthropist." "He seems more helpful than you." "He doesn't want to help you, he only wants to use you to screw with me." "You know how you can screw with him?" "Act like your brother getting a job doesn't screw with you." "Trust me, it'll be better for both of us if you go back in there and tell him you can't take the job." "I'm not a person who has the luxury of turning down jobs." "Well, figure something out because you cannot work here." "(EXCLAIMS)" "(SCREECHING)" "House!" "(GROWLING)" "Okay..." "We spent all night, used all the fancy machines." "Patient's heart looks fine." "Well, if it was fine, it wouldn't go aflutter just because you walked into the room." "Light whip, two extra shots." "Thank you, sir." "Judging by the look on your face," "I assume you're upset that big bro didn't take your advice and skip town." "You told him about our conversation?" "He bought me breakfast." "It was fun." "Put lunch in the books, just you and me." "Our patient could have a PFO." "Well, naturally you jump right to a urinary issue." "PFO's not urinary, it's a heart issue." "It is?" "Oh." "Well, naturally you think it's not a urinary issue because you're so embarrassed about your own past urinary issues, you don't dare broach the subject." "Oh, come on." "You spending the night over at Bobby Samson's?" "(SIGHS)" "I did not wet the bed, I spilled a drink." "We're not buying it, Eric." "We never bought it." "Why are you telling him these things?" "What's the big deal?" "It was 25 years ago." "Oxygenated and de-oxygenated blood mix, the rough flow causes a clot, explains the heart and head." "Like that power forward from Loyola Marymount when he..." "Hank Gathers?" "That's not what happened to him." "Whoa, let your brother speak." "What happened to Hank Gathers?" "Conference tournament." "Alley-oop dunk, jams it home, then he runs up the court and splat." "He dropped dead of a heart thing right there on the court." "I remember that." "On autopsy they found he had a hypertrophic cardiomyopathy." "Rage and tachycardia are warning signs." "Seriously?" "Because my brother remembers a basketball game?" "Hey, I don't care where an idea comes from, as long as it makes sense and embarrasses someone." "(DOOR OPENS)" "Are you out of your mind?" "As a former psychiatric patient," "I take offense at that terminology." "All I did was ban you from my tub." "Whatever happened to proportional response?" "Whatever happened to coherent conversation?" "That thing broke tiles, gashed the walls, and pooped everywhere." "Expect a bill for repairs." "And payback." "What was that?" "I have no idea." "Everybody else thinks hypertrophic cardiomyopathy makes sense?" "Good, stick the patient on a treadmill." "Stress his heart until it stops." "You want to induce cardiac arrest?" "The only real treatment is for the patient never to stress his heart again, which means we have to tell him to retire at the ripe old age of 21." "Stopping his heart speaks louder than words." "Go." "Maybe it's a good thing." "He gave your brother a job, responsibility." "I'm not arguing that he shouldn't have a job," "I just don't want him having one here." "I understand that House did this to annoy you, but why is he succeeding?" "(SIGHS)" "You know what my brother did the last time he got out of prison?" "He stole money from my parents to buy drugs." "He robbed a liquor store, then he moved on to jacking luxury cars..." "Last time." "Every time." "I've known my brother for over 30 years." "You haven't even known him a day." "I'm sorry." "The exterminator charged 250 to get the opossum out of there, and the contractor estimates 1,500 to fix the bathroom." "And why are you jerking Foreman around?" "Because it's fun." "Maybe you should give those bills to the guy who left his own bathroom window open." "Your motives always run deeper than simple fun." "I want to learn more about one of my employees so that I can manipulate him and destroy him if and when I choose." "Information is power." "Not buying it." "Okay." "Why don't you tell me my real evil plan?" "I don't think there is an evil plan." "You regret not having a relationship with your own family, and you don't want to see Foreman go down that same path." "I think you're actually being nice." "Oh, shut up." "You can't accuse me of an opossum attack and underhanded kindness in the same visit." "Then I'll come back." "(DOOR OPENS)" "CHASE:" "Treadmill test was a bust." "The guy's in unbelievable shape, we couldn't get his heart rate above 150." "Your boss is secretly a very nice man." "I know." "CHASE:" "If we can't recreate the cardiac event, we can't prove hypertrophic cardiomyopathy." "(EXCLAIMS)" "Either we find a bigger treadmill, or..." "Did I miss the memo about you being released?" "I'm feeling fine." "I can't keep laying here in this bed, missing practices." "All excellent points." "Give me your arm." "What's in the shot?" "It's a vasodilator." "Since we can't exercise your son's heart on the treadmill, we're gonna have to do it chemically." "What's wrong?" "You're turning white." "What does that mean?" "It means he doesn't need football to get a good job anymore." "Raynaud's Phenomenon." "Vasospasms cut off the blood supply to his fingers, could be early onset rheumatoid arthritis." "His rheumatoid factor is negative." "Arterial plaque throwing clots would explain the fingers, head, heart." "You really think a guy with stenosis could've aced that treadmill test?" "You're kidding me." "You got him a desk?" "And a nameplate." "Man's got to have a place he can call his own." "CHASE:" "What about Takayasu's arteritis?" "Lymphoma's a better fit." "We should remove his spleen." "Bold move to skip straight to surgery." "His big game's coming up, we don't have time to biopsy, wait for the pathology report, and resect." "Right." "We should remove his spleen without confirmation so he won't miss the big game." "Hang an ethanol drip." "That won't treat for either lymphoma or Takayasu's." "If it's lymphoma, the ethanol will make him itchy, and Foreman can remove his spleen." "If it's Takayasu's, he'll lose his radial pulse, and Chase can start him on steroids." "Marcus!" "What are you doing here?" "My new assignment is to shadow you into enemy territory and document your every word to the patient." "Just don't say anything stupid." "You're not an idiot." "Don't do this." "Come on, man." "I'm a new person now." "No more drugs, no more lying." "And if I can't get my own family to give me an opportunity to prove that, then what's the point?" "Mom and Dad gave you a chance." "And a second." "And a third." "I'm not about to give you a 54th." "Why isn't your minion fetching your lunch?" "He's busy spying on his little brother." "(CHUCKLING)" "What?" "That's very demeaning." "You obviously have a theory as to why demeaning is not demeaning." "You're escalating to prove I was wrong about you being nice." "Which you would only do if I was right." "Do you even listen to yourself?" "Twenty-three-year-old just came in to the ER, asked for you." "What's her cup size?" "I don't think his cup size is relevant to his condition." "He accidentally shot himself in the foot." "Oh, for..." "Seriously?" "I give you a choice between moving to Canada and shooting yourself in the foot, and you choose the bullet?" "I didn't want to be a fugitive." "You think this is gonna get you discharged?" "We'll patch it up and send you right back." "Well, don't patch it up." "Look, you got screwed over by your own government and that sucks." "But all you're going to get out of this is a five-day vacation and a band-aid." "When I signed up, I was just a guy." "Now I'm about to be a dad." "I go back over, there's a chance my kid grows up without a father." "You got a girl pregnant." "You're still just a guy." "How much longer we have to wait?" "We have to keep going until you start feeling something." "Might help if you told me what I'm supposed to feel." "I do that, that's all you'll be thinking about." "Then you'll be telling me that's what you're feeling." "Power of suggestion." "The other black dude who was in here earlier, he your brother?" "What gave it away?" "The way you looked at him." "I have two older brothers, and we always want to kill each other." "(LAUGHS)" "(GROANING)" "Something wrong?" "Not really." "Just feels itchy." "Is that what you were waiting for?" "Means lymphoma's most likely." "But that's actually good news." "How can that be good news?" "Because it's treatable, we can remove your spleen tonight laparoscopically." "Will I be up and around by Saturday?" "We can get to the radiation in the off-season." "(LAUGHING)" "Hey, Ma." "Wake up." "Ma, wake up." "I'm itchy." "Means I can play." "(HUMMING)" "(GASPS)" "(SIGHS)" "What are you doing in the dark?" "Lying in wait." "Jeez, what happened to your face?" "Right, play innocent." "Like you weren't looking for revenge for the prank that I didn't pull." "It's karmic justice, but I didn't do it." "Of course you realize, this means war." "Isolating the gastroepiploic artery." "Nearly there." "Foreman, come and take a look at this." "Liver's inflamed." "So the itching wasn't caused by his spleen." "It's not lymphoma." "What happened to your face?" "Wilson annexed the Sudetenland." "FOREMAN:" "No abnormal T-cells or B-cells, it's definitely not lymphoma." "Liver biopsy only revealed non-specific inflammation." "Kind of like the time you took your mom's birth control pills on a dare and ended up with swollen nipples." "That never happened." "Right." "And your nickname all the way up through high school wasn't Erica." "It wasn't." "Okay, I may have made that one up." "With the understanding that my brother still had his sense of humor and would figure out to play along." "Polymyositis would explain the head, liver, heart, even the white fingers." "Would also be accompanied by a significant decrease in muscle power." "Marcus, chance to redeem yourself." "Does our patient look strong to you?" "Sorry, Eric." "Big brother disagrees with your diagnosis." "Felty syndrome?" "You said the liver was inflamed, not the spleen." "Can you believe they let this guy perform surgery?" "What are you doing?" "Requesting permission to share my idea without being belittled in front of your new assistant." "Permission denied." "Continue." "Our patient has cartilage damage in both ankles, he gets lidocaine shots before every game to mask the pain." "Team doctor uses the same needle twice by accident?" "Viral hepatitis." "Do you think he's an idiot, Marcus?" "I don't think he's an idiot." "Okay." "Go test his blood." "Come on." "We have a lunch scheduled." "So you jerked me around." "Your allegiance lies with your brother." "I get it." "Admirable." "But here's the problem." "I hired you to tell me the truth." "If you don't do that, you no longer have a job." "I don't know what secret you're looking to uncover, but my brother is a decent guy." "He was arrested for grand theft auto." "You're gonna be disappointed." "Try me." "He tell you I was with him?" "Was it your idea?" "We did everything together," "I don't know whose idea it was." "I was 16, he was only 14." "Little punk couldn't even see over the steering wheel, but he was quicker with a flathead screwdriver than most people with a key." "Sorry to interrupt my character assassination with boring medical stuff, but when we drew the patient's blood it clotted right there in the vacutainer." "So the problem is not in his blood, it's the blood itself." "He's been working out in the cold, doing two-a-days, it's got to be cryoglobulinemia." "I usually love breaking bad news, but in this case..." "Start the patient on warfarin." "I am so sorry about that." "You were saying?" "We drove for about 10 minutes before we got caught and that was it." "When mom came down to the station, she didn't say a word the whole ride home." "She came to the driveway, turned off the car." "We're sitting in there in silence." "And then, without turning around, she said, "I'll pray for you."" "Then she got out of the car." "Wow." "You got off easy." "Easy for you, easy for me." "Not easy for Eric." "His life mission became to never disappoint our mother like that again." "Because he is a good guy." "Thought he would tell that story at the eulogy, but I heard he didn't give one." "Your mother's dead?" "If he didn't tell you, I'm sure he had a reason." "Look, you can mock him all you want about peeing the bed, but please don't bring up our mother." "Your blood contains an abnormally high volume of certain proteins, called cryoglobulins." "They become thick when it gets cold outside." "It's like a car trying to run after the oil's turned to sludge." "We think that's what's been causing all your problems." "So I just need a quick oil change and I'm good to go." "This oil change isn't so quick." "We have to put you on blood thinners and other medications." "The process will take two to three weeks, but after that, you should be able to play without a problem." "After that, it's not gonna matter." "Doctor, if Daryl doesn't play in front of the scouts on Saturday, he won't get drafted." "Can't you wait until after the game?" "If we wait and let him play, there's a good chance he dies right on the field." "I had an epiphany." "Usually that precedes you walking away with purpose, so..." "Flathead screwdriver." "And then I say..." "It's not a game, it's proof that you didn't rig the grab rail and make me fall." "I already have proof of that." "The fact that I didn't do it." "I can't go on that." "But I can go on the fact that I had to borrow a flathead screwdriver from Nora to install the thing because we only had a Phillips head." "Then, of course, I returned it late that night in a completely successful effort to see her braless." "Whoa!" "Wait." "Wait a minute." "Wait a minute." "Which means that you didn't have the tool to sabotage the grab rail." "Braless?" "Under, like, a sweater?" "Or, like, a..." "Now I also have proof that I'm not responsible for the opossum because I'm absolving you of responsibility instead of escalating, which you know is not in my nature." "So someone is breaking into our place just to screw with us?" "The opossum was meant for me." "WILSON:" "I'm so tired." "It was exciting until about 2:00 a.m." "Now it's just torture." "HOUSE:" "Did you even go to college?" "This is the escalation, isn't it?" "Keeping me up all night." "Nothing happens, then you keep me up all night again tomorrow." "This is your retaliation." "You see, that's just illogical, 'cause I'm staying up, too." "Maybe you napped all day." "I gave you empirical proof that I did not prank you." "No." "No, you did not." "You created empirical proof that I didn't prank you, selling me on the notion that you didn't prank me." "Maybe you self-pranked." "I don't masterprank." "Is that cut on your cheek even real?" "See?" "This is exactly what our nemesis wants." "Divide and conquer." "Can't you see that?" "Okay." "I'm going to bed." "HOUSE:" "I'm telling you, if we sleep now, we're going to wake up next to severed horse heads." "Or worse, the rest of it." "(FIRE ALARM BEEPING)" "WILSON:" "Oh!" "House!" "The flatscreen!" "You would never sacrifice the flatscreen." "Oh, this guy's good." "(SIGHS)" "Is there a reason for this?" "(IN FRENCH ACCENT) There is a reason for everything, mes amis." "I am troubled to report that we have a criminal in our midst." "Guilty of what, exactly?" "Last night the fire sprinklers flooded our apartment." "And before that, I found an opossum in my bathtub." "You each had motive, you each had opportunity." "This is the emergency you paged me about?" "(CLEARS THROAT)" "Not so fast, Mademoiselle Cuddy." "No one leaves here until they can account for their whereabouts the evening last." "Bye." "(IN NORMAL ACCENT) Okay." "No one who is employed by me leaves here until they account for their whereabouts the evening last." "What about you, Professor Chase?" "Why would I?" "Because you hold me responsible for breaking up your marriage." "I was here all night with Thirteen monitoring our patient's IV blood thinners." "Can either of you prove that?" "The patient's alive and improving." "Is that proof enough?" "For now." "What about you, Colonel Taub?" "I was out to dinner with my wife." "Really?" "Your wife?" "Yes, really." "Good enough." "'Cause I had you pegged all along." "You certainly had all the motive in the world." "First of all, I'm not interested." "Second, I don't even know where you guys live." "Yesterday, I confirmed that you are a liar." "What are you talking about?" "Well, at least a liar by omission." "House!" "Don't." "Get this, class." "Foreman's mom died." "He ever tell any of you?" "House, I think you're getting off topic here." "Is he serious?" "Did your mom pass away?" "About three months ago." "I'm so sorry." "Why didn't you tell anybody?" "HOUSE:" "And to top it off, he refused to say anything nice about her at the funeral." "I didn't talk because it isn't anyone's business." "Stop." "You don't have to explain yourself to this guy." "You want to hit me, don't you?" "Marcus, don't." "I quit." "You should stop him." "He needs this job." "Our patient needs a fresh IV." "I don't need two to three weeks." "See?" "Got my color back." "It means you're getting better, but it doesn't..." "Means I am better." "My coach had the team doctor come by." "He cleared me to play." "Did your team doctor realize you're on blood thinners?" "I'm off them now." "You're still sick." "You're not ready to go off your meds." "Daryl, listen to him." "It is not worth the risk..." "I'll come back on Sunday, Mom." "You guys can give me all the meds I need then." "The treatment doesn't work that way." "Please, go with him." "The antibiotics aren't working." "We're going to switch you to different ones, but you're going to lose your toe." "(LAUGHING)" "Outstanding, soldier!" "As a general rule, before you celebrate, do a little research." "The Army's Medical Evaluation Board is perfectly fine with nine-toed infantrymen, as long as they can walk and run." "So I lost a toe for nothing?" "Afraid so." "Unless you want me to keep you on the old antibiotics." "We can let the infection spread, then we can amputate more than just a toe." "Why are you risking your life for this?" "Your mom doesn't want you to." "My mom sacrificed everything for me." "Her telling me not to come here is just another example of that." "I do good out there," "I could take care of her for the rest of her life." "Who am I if I don't sacrifice for her?" "That's family." "(DARYL WHEEZING)" "You okay?" "Everything's blurry." "I can't see." "Take me back to the hospital." "The blindness means we were wrong about..." "FOREMAN:" "Actually, I'm responsible for that." "I spiked his water bottle with nitrates." "Dropped his blood pressure, robbed oxygen rich blood from his brain, making him blind." "I figured a temporarily blind patient is better than a permanently dead one." "His vision was already coming back by the time I dropped him off at the hospital." "Well played." "If only we could combine your medical chicanery with your brother's ability to fetch me mochas, you'd be the perfect Foreman." "Where are you?" "I'm busy." "TAUB:" "Great, so we don't have a new symptom." "Means we should just stick him back on his blood thinners, and he should be okay to leave in a couple weeks." "Actually, we do have a new symptom." "Any of you take a look at his readmittance chart?" "Between the time he checked in and the time he re-checked in, our patient lost a single pound." "Patient like that would usually shed over 10 pounds." "The obvious answer would be steroids, but since we've already ruled them out..." "So he's not injecting, but he could be getting them naturally." "Paraneoplastic syndrome, the body produces antibodies which battle cancer, which could also act like growth hormone." "We've eliminated lymphoma." "What other cancers mimic growth hormone?" "Lung, pancreatic, renal, breast..." "It was a rhetorical question, I don't really care." "Go test him for all of them." "(KNOCKING AT DOOR)" "What are you doing here?" "You need a job." "Maybe I can talk to House, see if I can get your job back." "As soon as he knows you're okay with me being there, he won't want me back." "Maybe I can help you figure out something else." "I promise I won't let you down." "Don't do that." "Let's just see how it goes." "So do they mandate you to stay here at the halfway house, or can you come stay with family?" "It's Foreman." "Well, it should stop now that Marcus left." "Well, that's the whole point." "Oh, I'm sorry." "Was my leg sticking out?" "I'm so distracted lately, trying to think of something funnier than fire sprinklers going off in the middle of the night." "Any ideas?" "Whoa." "Easy there, tiger." "I know where you live." "You know how I know?" "'Cause my girlfriend and I, we tried to buy that very same condo." "Why don't you leave me out of this?" "Wilson was the one who bought the place." "And you're living there." "You deserve to suffer equally." "Actually, I've suffered more now that you just tripped me." "(STAMMERING) Hey, hey." "I'm..." "His suffering will equal out because he actually feels remorse." "Why would you out yourself?" "You can't even imagine the retribution." "There won't be any." "I'm ceasing all offensive operations." "I've both made my point and established my superiority." "And if you even get to the planning stages of retaliation," "I will tell Cuddy that she lost her dream place to you two." "See, she's under this odd impression that you guys are her friends." "There's no cancer." "We scanned him head to toe, we checked blood smears for leukemia, we even ultrasounded his chest looking for breast cancer." "Maybe I was wrong about the weight loss." "You weren't wrong." "We found blood in his catheter bag." "His kidneys are failing." "THIRTEEN:" "So it has to be cancer." "Paraneoplastic syndrome is the only thing that can link kidney, heart and liver, even the rage." "Then why can't we find it?" "We've looked everywhere inside this guy." "What if it's not inside?" "(MAN CHATTERING ON TV)" "You know why you're black?" "'Cause God loves me more than he loves you." "Hmm." "What I was going for was melanin." "You got lots of it." "Makes your skin dark, protects you from the sun's harmful UV rays." "What are you doing?" "Unfortunately, it also prevents even those with advanced medical degrees from considering melanoma as a diagnosis." "Other hand." "On the rare occasion that black people do get skin cancer, they usually get it on their white parts, like the palms and soles of the feet." "But your hands and feet are so smashed up from football that my team would likely have written off any skin blemish as a bruise." "But now that I know that melanoma is the only thing that fits..." "Come take a look at this, Mom." "There's the thorn in the panther's paw." "Paraneoplastic syndrome." "Your body forms antibodies to fight the tumor." "Those tiny little proteins travel through your blood and wreak havoc." "We remove the cancerous mole, everything should be fine." "I'll tell Dr. Chase to schedule the surgery." "Why bother?" "I missed my shot." "What kind of life am I gonna lead now?" "Did you study really, really hard?" "Then the same crappy life that the rest of the guys you'll be graduating with are going to lead, minus the student loans." "Hey, you ready?" "Almost." "And done." "I heard House and Wilson are getting pranked by someone." "You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?" "No." "And why should I believe you?" "You said I had a trusting face." "I still don't understand why you wouldn't let me retaliate, though." "They stole your dream." "Well, that's overstating it." "It's just a condo." "It's not because you feel guilty about hurting House?" "Or guilty for being with me?" "We'll buy another one." "I just don't see the need to make a war out of it." "Well, I think you're rationalizing, which a less confident man than myself might take as a sign that you're second guessing..." "Okay." "You know what?" "Forget that last part." "I heard Foreman and his brother are trying to work things out." "That's nice for them." "It's nice of you." "You didn't provoke Marcus to quit so the pranks would stop." "You were becoming the common enemy they could bond over." "You are the diabolical, yet benevolent puppetmaster." "I provoked Marcus to quit because he was no longer useful to me." "I hired him to get information, I got information." "Uh-huh." "And how are we going to get back at Lucas?" "We're not." "I win."