"Previously on rescue me..." "I've been a part of a lot of interventions,ok?" "They're never easy." "Some people get extremely defensive and even violent." "Shit!" "I can't go back to rehab!" "It doesn't work for me!" "Shit,we got enough drunks in this room to start our own meetings." "Sheila gave us half a million bucks,ok?" "What?" "You never wanted the baby!" " Don't you put it back on me!" " Somebody stole my baby?" "You're the one who told me to go see her,ok?" "We just agreed honesty is the best policy,right?" "I was wrong." " Baby,don't" " No,no,no." "I am not your baby anymore." "I'm gonna take a long walk." "You be gone when I get back." "You don't think I'm being too forward,do you?" "No,no,I'd have to be insane to think that." " You want me,don't you?" " Yeah,yeah!" "Hi,auntie sheila." "My dad and me,we wanted to see how the baby was doing." "Oh,say hi to your sister." "I'm going to be right back." "In the car,in the car,in the car,sweetie." "Close the door." "Close the door." "Good,good,good." "Ok." "Oh,shit!" "No,no,no,no!" "No!" "What are you doing?" "He hates you!" "He hates you!" "Man." "I mean,I don't feel connected to this god at all." "I don't even know what kind of point system the guy's using." "Tell you one thing,I'm sure as hell glad he ain't my bookie." "Cockroach." "All right,guys,let's just settle down,try and focus,ok?" "The topic we're going to talk about is the higher power,all right?" "God or whatever your higher power might be." "You know,how you see him or her or it." "Yeah,well,I for one am one of those,um,uh... what do you call it,honey?" " Agnostics." " Yeah." " You don't believe in god?" " No." "Typical." "Oh,yeah,like you do,right?" "I do now." "If you don't believe in god,how can you remotely hope to stay sober,huh?" "Well,tommy hasn't had a drink in,like,what?" "11 months,4 weeks and 2 days." "243 minutes,12 seconds." "Hey,asshole." "You really tryin' to tell me that god is helping keep him sober?" "I don't think so,sweetheart." "He's white knuckling' it." "Sorry,tommy,it's true." "If you can't find your way to some sort of faith-based foundation here, you're doomed to fail." " You know,I really think she's right." " Thank you." "Don't listen to her,she still goes to 9:00 mass every sunday." "Yeah,so what?" "Ok,guys,the truth of the matter is, if you don't believe in some form of higher power, trust in something bigger than yourself, you're gonna wind up counting' days." "Believe me,I was a priest,ok?" "I find more god in these rooms,even in this room, then I ever did when I was working for the church." "You know?" "Hey,sean." "You know,the ability to share your sins with other sinners, that's what's gonna get you through." "Even if,let's say 2 minutes after we walk out of this apartment, ok,tommy goes into the kitchen,opens up the kitchen cabinet, finds a brand spankin' new bottle of maker's mark," "if he has faith and trust,he won't drink it." "Holy shit." "What?" "There's a bottle of maker's mark in one of these cabinets?" "God damn it!" " Sean,sean - why is your hand up?" "Well,I have something that I'd like to share." "Uh,ok,shawn." "Ok,god,for me" " Yeah." "He's just this huge, kind of all powerful,enormous... cloud." "God is a cloud?" "Yeah,well,I'm not finished yet,maggie." "He's,you know,this giant cloud of pink gas." "That's-ok,I didn't realize there was going to be..." "Why is he here?" " Why is he here?" " so much judgment happening" "I thought I was in-he has" "No,no,he is not an alcoholic." " Yes,I am!" " No,you're not!" " Yes,I am!" " Prove it." "Prove it?" "I'm here,at the" "Listen,pinky,how many drinks you have a day?" "Depends on the occasion,really." " Could be,you know" " Give us a ballpark." "Such a liar!" "5,8,12 drinks a day?" "Well,12 is a lot." "This guy ain't no souse." "Guys..." "Who votes that sean does not get to come to these meetings anymore?" "Well,you know what,who votes that I get to stay?" "That's not nice." "You know,I only drank a little bit myself." "There's the denial talking now." "Total denial right here." " Hey,asshole." " Yeah,well" "Guys,please,I'm tryin' to chair this meeting,all right?" "I'm gonna look for that bottle." "You know what,when are you going to face the facts?" "Of what?" "You're gonna start drinkin' again?" "You know what?" "There's another rat!" "It's just a mouse,ok?" "It's just a mouse,don't worry." "Can you guys-please!" "This place is as dry as a goddamn bone!" "Booze!" "Go find booze!" "I'll have the chicken,and I'll have the waffles." "Heavy on the chicken,heavy on the waffles." "And why don't you give me a fruit salad for my conscience?" "You got it,sugar." "I'll have the same." "Hold the fruit,thank you." "All right." "Whoo,how about some fries with that shake?" "Hey,mike,will you please not make a correlation between food and that woman's ass?" "You're gonna ruin my appetite." " I'm gonna go get her number." " Are you kidding me?" "Hey." "Dad?" "How you doin'?" "Why do you have the baby?" "What's goin' on?" "I made a deal with mom." " You made a deal- - You want to help me out" " Yeah." " Thank you." "Deal with mom-ok." "Jesus." "Ooh,where'd you get this car?" "From cheech and chong?" "So what's the deal?" "I h I have him 3 days a week." "Me and tony,ok?" "Mom's paying us a babysitting fee and besides that,it's good for me." "You know,practice and stuff." "It's prac-heh." "What do you mean,practice?" "Please don't tell me you're thinkin' about having a baby with-with- hi-the guy who owns this piece of crap?" "Are you crazy?" "Yeah,I don't-I don't have time for this." "All right." "Ok,explain to me why your mother doesn't have the baby full time." "Please." "Colleen?" "Coll- wait,what is this?" "Tony had 3 out of town gigs this week." "Ok,you know what?" "Did you get some new tattoo on your ass?" "What's this?" "It's the bass player'S.Don't worry about it,ok?" "I'm takin' that baby out of this car." " No,you're not!" " Yes,I am takin' that baby out of this car!" "No,no,dad,stop it!" "Colleen... don't you start that car!" "Wait,wait,wait." "Ok,you know what?" "I'll make a deal with you,ok." "If you promise not to drive the baby in this car anymore," "I'll give you a brand new credit card." "How abt that?" "For what?" "For not drivin' the baby,and you give me,um-tell me where mom is." "And-um,'cause I need to talk to her, and you let me have the baby a couple days a week without her knowing about it." "I don't think so,dad." "Ok,you know..." "All right?" "How about that?" " You can charge as much as you want" " My name's already on here,dad!" "Yeah,because I was anticipating,all right?" " I was thinking ahead." " No deal." "You're going to give this to me anyway." "Listen to me,because I love you." "Because I'm like the wayne gretsky of dads." " I was anticipating" " Bye!" "Turn the car off,please." "Jesus christ." "All right." "If you promise not to drive the baby in the car anymore, and the other stuff,I'll give you a brand new car." "Not brand new,but I'll get you something better than this." "Now we're talking." "Ok,please?" "So... mom-wise..." "I want a porsche." "You are such a goddamn gavin,it's not even funny." "I'm not getting you a porsche." "Ok,a B.M.W.Then." "I'll tell you who she's sleeping with." "Ok,but this little info,who she's sleeping with now, is worth maybe,maybe,at the outside,a 5 or 6-year-old jeep cherokee." "Unless she's sleeping with somebody I know,or,you know,a female relative." "Then maybe you'd get a used B.M.W." "Yeah,ok,that's what I thought." "Jeep cherokee." "Spill." "She's sleeping with her new boss." "He runs a real estate company." "His name's bob." "Such a cliche." "Short,bald,fat jewish guy,right?" " How old is he?" " 33" "All right." "Listen,that card... you can charge as much as you want,but I want you to use it for what you need,all right?" "Need would mean anything for the baby,you know, whatever you-birth control would be on the need list." " Ok." " Ok?" "Not stuff that you want." "Stuff that you want,you know, would be pretty much anything your boyfriend says he needs,all right?" " Ok." " Ok." "Love you." " Love you,too." " Ok." "Bye." " Bye." " Bye." "All right." "Hi,franco." "Hey." "Hi,rich." "Is everything ok?" "Yeah." "Is nat all right?" "She cries sometimes." "Oh,yeah?" "Well,she's not the only one,you know?" "So what's up?" "She,uh..." "What is it,rich?" "Hey,it's all right,man,you know?" "Whatever it is,you can tell me." "She has a new boyfriend." "We just broke up 4 goddamn days ago,richard!" "Don't-oh,this is bullshit,man." "They work together." "They work together." "Oh,that's classic." "We break up 4 days ago,all the history between us, a goddamn marriage proposal,and she's already latched on to some asshole from her office?" "Next time they have a date,I can show you where." "You'd do that for me,rich?" "I like you better." "Thanks,man." "Hey,listen,I'm sorry,all right?" "I'm sorry for,like,losing it on you." "Ok,that was... that was way immature." "You shouldn't do shit like that to people,ok?" "That's ok." "All right." "Now,listen,go find out where and when that next is taking place so we can spy on your s your sister." "Ok." "You're like the brother I never had,franco." "I love you." "Hey,man." " I'm gonna-I'm gonna get back to work." " Ok." "Hey,you guys,you guys hear about bobby the beast?" "65 truck." "Once ate 14 cheeseburgers and drank 17 beers at 65 truck's fourth of july barbecue." "Without puking,thus the nickname." "Crazy bastard tried to save some broad who was already dead by using himself as a battering ram." "Hey,guys,what do we got?" "Chicken cordon lou." "Oh,my god,my favorite!" "As I was sayin',he broke through a wall,broke his shoulder." "They found the two of them all burned up." "2 guys on his crew got burnt trying to pull him out." "I was a chief over there." " Meshugannah." " Yeah!" "This is the crazy shit I was trying to talk to you about,gavin." "God,it makes you think,you know?" "About god." "Hey,pass the corn,will you?" " Shirts and s" " Yeah,apparently." "Wow,the mayor's finally up in arms about the racial situation in the F.D.N.Y." "It says here once again only 2% of the new class entering probie school are made up of african americans." "Shit." "I was the only brother I saw when I walked through." "I was the only jew when I went through." "I can tell you,you can count on the one hand the number of jews in the department right now." "Heh,you irish." "You got a lock on this job." "You irish?" " That's what I said." " Yeah." "What,we take a different exam than you took?" "He's not sayin' that." "Come on,let's be real." "Most of the guys down at H.Q.And the academy,what are they?" "Irish and italian,catholic,and they're the ones who check off the grades and decides who makes it in just to take the physical exam." "And who grades the written exam?" "Probably the same guys." "I'm just sayin'." " You know what I mean?" " Word." "Yeah,so what,so now it's a goddamn plot?" " Shawn's got a point,you know?" " Talk to him." "Which is?" "Well,we talked about it like a million times,puerto rican-wise." "I mean,what percentage do we count from the department,like,eight?" "Yeah,it's better than two." "Tell you what,you guys want to go deep on this bullshit," "I got you by the goddamn balls,ok?" "You know how many african americans I saved in the course of my career?" "I'll tell you how many." "I don't have a goddamned clue." "I never pulled up,jumped off the rig and asked who,ok?" "Homeless,rich,drunk,high,or just plain goddamned stupid." "I didn't give a shit." "You know,you ever think that maybe the reason there ain't more chinese and female and black firefighters is 'cause maybe they just don't want the goddamned job?" "'Cause it ain't a job." "It's a curse." "We get int because we want to make a difference." "And in a house like this,you start making a difference right away,right?" "You know that." "From the first night,you go on what,6,7 calls a night?" "You start pulling them out one by one,two by two,all of a sudden you're like goddamn noah." "You're pulling out tiny little chinks and sweaty spics and lazy ass raising heads and drunken irish micks, and name the stereotype,we've got it,we pull them out." "Meanwhile,what's going on with your family back home?" "Right?" "Nothing." "You're too busy saving utter and complete strangers." "You treat your family like they're in the backseat." "And,god,there ain't enough god to go around on this job,boys." "So,ultimately... what are you left with?" "You got a couple medals on your chest." "I don't even take those." "All I got is that scar on my hip,a scar on my ass, and all the shit that's bottled up in my head." "Yep." "Food,fire,sex." "That's pretty much all I got,boys." "Maybe time for a nap in between." "You know,9 guys gave their lives in the line of duty down at charleston city." "I don't even care what color those guys were,because... they were all goddamn heroes to me." "Is anybody else nervous that he never mentioned kikes in the middle of that speech?" "I was too busy wondering' if he was gonna eat the damn dish." "Hail mary,full of grace,the lord is with thee." "Blessed art thou amongst women,and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,jesus." "12 years of catholic school and you can't remember the shortest prayer they wrote." "I wish there was a nun here right now." "Sister agnes,catherine." "She'd kick your skinny little irish ass real good." "Hey there." "Good morning." "Hi." "How's it,uh,how's it going?" "Fine." "You must be the,um,waitress,from that, uh,the soul food place,right?" "A friend of my cousin mike's?" " Latrina." " Latrina." "Lovely." "Uh,ken." "You take it black?" "No." "Uh,yes." "I,um,I do- it's a black toast,kind of a mucous." "Not me." "I like a little cream in my coffee,if you know what I mean." "You got any?" "Yeah,I think we do." "Should be on the top shelf there." "So,I,um,I really should get going." "You way want to stick around for a bit." "I make a whale of an omelette." "Oh,yeah,I bet you do,but I can't be late." " Your loss." " Ok." " Have a good day." " Yeah." "Excuse me." "Have a good omelette." "Good luck." "Hey,doesn't that look like the car we pancaked the other day?" "This thing's built like a tank." "Yeah,the germans." "They're nuts about safety." "What's the big deal?" "They got air bags or something in there?" "There's air bags all around in there." "It's like mariah carey meets anna nicole smith." "They should put a nipple on the inside of each door and be done with it." "Gentlemen,we have a lovely little knick-knack shop that the owner probably torched for the insurance cabbage." "Tommy,you and lou go in the front." "You guys grab black shawn and head around the back,all right?" "You got it." "I got a little problem,pal." " Which is?" " Hey Hey,joey the jake." "Remember how I caught my cousin mike bangin' teresa?" "Yeah,yeah." "Joey,see you later." "Well,you know,he's like my favorite relative." "I mean,he's more like a brother then he is a cousin,you know." "Not to mention the fact that he gave me an out from a relationship that otherwise probably would have meant my sex-related demise." "Right." "And because we're so close,I'm figuring,you know what," "I'm just gonna swallow it,you know,let it be,let bygones by bygones." "Yeah." "You know,the thing is,he's kind of banging this waitress now and I think that it might be,like,a regular thing." "What?" " Revenge sex." " No!" " You're thinking of having revenge sex." " No!" "Oh,you're gonna lie to me about that" "Tommy,I'm not thinking about having revenge sex,may god strike me down." "What are you pushin' me for?" " Ok?" " All right." "Well,look,you know what?" "Why shouldn't I?" "Tit for tat." "Screw unto others as they have screwed unto you." "Plus,teresa was my girl,all right?" "He crossed the definite,unwritten,unspoken,invisible line." " Smitty!" " Hey,smitts,what's up?" "Listen,no question,he broke the rule that no man shall break,all right?" "When it comes to ex-girlfriends,we all know the rule,right?" "And until the day she dies,or you die,anybody,even me, if I saw her across the street and I said hello,but I wanted to cross and say something else,I've got to have your permission in advance." "Right." "Well,thank you,because that is exactly what I" " I know- - hey,handsome jack,how you doing,pal?" "How's things?" "Lieutenant,hi,how you doin'?" " Tommy,it's good to see you." " Good to see you,man." "Did he have more work done?" "Yeah,he had a couple more skin grafts the last one, they took a piece from of his rear end,they attached it to his face." "So when he says,kiss my ass..." "Yeah,he really means it." "I think you should go ahead and make the move." "You know,come on,life's too short." "Look at him,you know what I mean?" "Yeah,I mean,while you got your looks,you know?" "That's what I'm thinkin'.There's only,you know,one problem,though." "Which is what?" "Well,she's black." "Are we talkin' halle barry black,or like jennifer hudson black?" "Aretha franklin black." "Now,understand,nothin' against black women." "I think they happen to be very,very beautiful." "It's not a racial thing at all." "No,no,no." "I mean,nobody's talkin' about anybody's skin color or anything." "Exactly." "Let me ask you this- can she sing?" "How the hell do I know?" "Well,I'm just asking,because sometimes a talent in one area can overcome or take the edge off a lack of talent in the other area." "Well,did I also mention that she's fat?" "Oh,she's fat." "Huh,well,how fat?" "I mean,she'd have to be able to sing,dance,paint, and figure skate to take the edge off,and even then,there'd be a lot of edge left." "Ok." "Well,you know what?" "You'd have to be psychologically damaged or,you know, maybe even have a dent in your head to even think about possibly having sex with somebody under those particular circumstances." "You think?" "Yeah,I think so." "I'm thinking the sooner the better." "Yeah,maybe tomorrow." "You know what I mean?" "Really get right back at him." "Hey,guys." "Hey,guys,check it out,look at what shawn found." "Antique lamp." "Totally untouched by the fire or the smoke." " Pretty cool,huh?" " Get over,you mugs!" " What?" " All right,3 things,ok?" "This is private property,which means it belongs to someone, which means it has memories and emotions attached to it." "Could possibly be a family heirloom." "Ok,second,taking private property from the scene of a fire, damaged or not,ok,is against department regulations." "What's the third thing,will?" "It looks like the reading lamp from a bedside table, which means there's probably another one exactly like it lying around." "If you can find that and bring it directly to me,I'd appreciate it." "Thank you." "You know what,that's gonna go real nice with the headboard you got out of the furniture warehouse fire last week." " It's the fun side of arson." " I know." "Hey,by the way,fineberg's been makin' a lot of noises about you lately." "Ok,what kind of noises?" " Like transfer noises,all right?" " Why?" "The guy thinks you're a nut." "He thinks you're unstable,we all know that,blah,blah,blah, but what he's really pissed at is the whole daughter not getting touched thing." "Ok,ok,how many times do I have I have to say it?" " The daughter is completely- - I know,she's completely insane." "She's completely crazy." "It's a problem we can easily fix." "How?" "You take her out one more time,ok?" "You pour like 2 or 3 drinks in her and you cop a feel." "Whoa,whoa,whoa,whoa,cop a feel?" "What,you give her a little kiss here,a little kiss there, a little squeezy,squeezy,squeezy,a little tit action,you know." "You feel her up a little bit." " Bing,bang,boom done deal." " Bing,bang,boom?" "All right,look,I meant that metaphor,you know, at more on the lines of dropping her home then sexual intercourse." "Ok,ok,ok,now,define a little when it comes to,you know" "I'm talking about,you know..." "A little finger action." "Finger action?" "What do you want me to say?" "Third base,ok?" " You want to get transferred?" " No!" "Well,then use your head and use your fingers a little bit." "Ok,ok." "Hey,guys." "Look what I found." "Present from me to you,jack." " Thanks,lou." " You're welcome." "Oh,christ." "Are you sure that's his ass,because there's a part of his chin right here that looks a little bit like." "Scrotum." "I know,I know." "See,I don't like to think of it that way because it's too creepy." "So what I like to do is imagine that they grafted some other part of his body over that." " Elbow." " Elbow." "That's what we'll do." " Elbow skin." " Elbow skin" "By the way,elbow skin?" " Yeah." " Not a band name for a band." "I think it is the name of a band." "Is this a keeper?" "That is a keeper if ever I've seen one." "Ok." "Oh,jesus christ,I just saw the scrotum again." "You looked again,didn't you?" "Walk it off." "It was an accident,total accident." "Oh,the T.P.S.Reports." "So what did you have to buy colleen to get this address out of her?" "A new car." "Wait." "If you'd seen the shit box that she was sticking the goddamn baby in" "Language." "Oh,sorry." "Whatever." "I don't want you here." "This is a fresh start for me,and I do not need this bullshit." "Oh,language." "You're sleeping with your new boss, and you don't want me coming around because you don't want him comparing himself to me" "Uh,bob,this is my ex-husband,um..." " Tommy." " Sorry." "Um,bob,tommy." "Uh,janet,here are the specs on the new boutique building." "Digest that,I'll run over it all with you after lunch." "Great." "Thanks." " Nice to meet you." " Nice to meet you." "Don't get cocky." "I'm not gettin' cocky." "You know,I assume that you not only got the address from colleen, but you also finagled the fact that I have a boyfriend named bob." "Yes,but colleen,she lied about" "Yeah,well,that's not the bob that I'm sleeping with." " Uh,this is." " What?" "Uh,bob,this is my ex,tommy gavin." " Tommy,how you doin'?" " Hey." "How are ya?" "J,we've got a showing in 10 minutes." "Yeah,I know." "She's taken to this job like she was born to it." "She's a natural." "Yeah." "Yeah." "I'm ready when you are." "Ok." "Let me check my desk." "Nice to meet you,tommy." "Really admire what you do,keepin' the world safe for the rest of us schmucks." " J,5 minutes?" " Yeah." "What'd do you tell him about me?" "Don'T." "You know,I could be wearing a suit like that,wanted to spend my money on myself, but I prefer to spend my money-our money on us." "On you and me and the kids." "Here you go,ok?" "What's that?" " It's a credit card." " No,no." "I don't want it." "No,I want you to have this in case there's anything" "No,I don't want any of sheila's money." "Does it say sheila keefe on there?" "It says janet gavin,ok?" "It's not a loan,it's our money." "She's not even- she's over the baby thing and the whole nine yards,so just take it." "What,she has no interest in wyatt?" "We're changing the baby's name,all right?" "Did you see the reviews for the latest kevin costner thing?" "The corporate kill mr." "Brooks thing?" "Ok,his name is wyatt." "Forever." "You know,bob seems to love it." "Which bob?" "The short,balding bob,or,you know,big,tall,handsome I'm bangin' your wife bob,huh?" "One more thing,his eyes?" "Those are-they call them cat's eye lenses." "Chicks wear ok?" "Modeling chicks,oh,yeah." "It's the first time I ever saw a guy wearing them." "Yeah,he's got like husky dog eyes,going" " What the?" " Go." " I'm going." " Go." " Yeah?" " Hey." " What are you doin'?" " Nothin'.Why." "What are you doin'?" " Ah,same." " Cool." "So,you know,just callin' to check in,see how you're doin'.You all right?" "I don't know,man." "You know,sometimes I think- it's almost been a year now, and I haven't had a drop,and,yeah,do I have a clear head?" "Yeah,I have a clear head." "Do I have clarity?" "Yeah." "But,you know,what else do I have to show for it?" "You know what I mean?" "Nothin'." "What do you mean,nothin' to show for it?" "You're clean,you're livin' an honest life." "What are you so afraid of?" "I'm not afraid of-wh-what?" " I'm not afraid of anything." " Bullshit." "You're wakin' up honest and with clarity and with full knowledge of what you said and yo and you did the night before." "You wanna feel the other way?" "I tell you what." "Take a hammer,and hit yourself 3 or 4 good shots in the side of the head when you wake up in the morning." "See how that feels,all right?" "You're right." "You know,I'M..." "I'm glad you called." "I'm serious." "You helped me." "You helped me." "You're right." "Yeah." "Not a problem." "All right." "Hey." "Hey,how you doin'?" "Um,the knee's still really sore,but,you know,I feel better." "A lot better." "Yeah?" "What are you doin'?" "Um,nothin'.Just chillin'." " Doin' what?" " Nothin'." "You're moping',aren't you?" "I'm not moping'." "Yeah." "You're having a giant mope fest over there,aren't you?" "No." "I was just... readin'." "You're reading." "That guarantees me that you're moping,all right?" "Here's what I want you to do,all right?" "When they were bringing me down at the fire escape the other night by your place," "I noticed down the block there's like a bar-cafe thing." "I want you to put away the ice cream- yeah,yeah,I know you're eating ice cream,yeah,which guarantees again,moping." "I want you to put on something nice,go down there and meet somebody,all right?" "Preferably a girl." "I got another call coming in." "Bye." "Yeah?" "You busy tonight?" "I'm workin' at the firehouse,why?" "Literally?" "I only need you for about 3 minutes." "Yeah,well,I know." "But it'll take me 45 to get over there and another 45 to get back." "I really-I can't do it." "Can I take a rain check?" "All right,pal." "Here." "Here." "Ready?" "Ready?" "I want you to fetch,all right?" "Fetch,ready?" "1,2,3,go!" "Get it!" "Look,look,look at the ball!" "See the kid chasing' the ball?" "Dogs have been doing this for ages with their owners,pal." "Thank you,appreciate it." "Charlie." "Charlie!" "Ch- Ah,whatever." "Hello?" "It's me." "Hey,how you doin'?" "We've kinda been missing you at the family meetings." "Yeah,I'll bet." "Listen,I need to talk to you." "Well,go ahead,talk away." "I got nothin' but time right now." "No,no,no." "I mean in person." " Face to face." " Why?" "Because I'm your goddamn father,that's why." "Meet me at hanrahan'S." "The bar?" "No,the synagogue." "Asshole." "Be here within an hour,and come alone." "All right." "Nice talkin' to ya." "Hey,what do you got?" "Hey,come here." "Oh,jesus." "Well... it's a start." "Come on." "Come on." "Drop it." "Drop it,drop it" "So you quit drinkin'?" "It's between me and you." "Yeah,I know." "10 days now." "And you decide to quit while you're sitting every day apparently here in hanrahan's bar, 3 feet away from every conceivable,imaginable type of booze?" "You sit here all day drinking coffee and tea,this is how you test yourself?" "You gotta face your fears,kid." "Look 'em straight in the eye." "I spent sixty some odd years belting' down the booze," "I might as well try my last 15 or so sober." "See what it's like." "You plan on-you'll be,like,97 years old?" "Why not?" "My dad did." "Listen,I'm doing this my way." "Why'd you ask me down here?" "I want you to tell me what you guys are talkin' about in the meeting,you know?" "Just so I can,you know,kind of like compare notes." "we talk about god." "God?" "Yeah,you know,faith." "Christ." "Yeah,well,we know how you feel about those two." "The great,all-powerful god." "Where was god when I landed on a beach in normandy and every other guy was getting his head blown off?" "When I had to fight off those 5 nazis,fighting for my life with only a rock in my bare hands." "Then,huh?" "Don't talk to me about god." "As far as I'm concerned,god was your mother." "The way she raised you kids,the love she showed you, the way she helped you overcome all the stuff that scared the shit out of you." "The height thing,the bee thing." "Your mother was a saint." "What heights thing?" "I'm not afraid of heights." "What are you talkin' about?" "I'm a goddamn fireman for christ sake." "I'm up in the ladder,I'm in the bucket every other goddamn day." "No,not now,thanks to her." "Christ,she couldn't even put you in a high chair." "But she cured you." "She took you up on the roof and held you over the side and tickled you with her nose." "Next think you know,you were beggin' her to throw you up in the air." "What was the bee thing?" "You were deathly afraid of them." "You used to wear a wool hat in summer so they wouldn't bite you on the head." "I don't think you ever got over that." "There's one now." "Where?" "Got you!" "Hello?" "Hello!" "What do I gotta be quiet for?" "Hang on." "Done." "Ok,now I can talk." "I was just wondering what's up with elvis." "Can I tell you one thing?" "The elvis thing,that name has to go,ok?" "Because,I mean- by the time he gets to high school, kids are gonna be dropping drugs on his feet and peanut butter-fried peanut butter sandwiches,ok?" "Elvis is evergreen,asshole." "It's like jesus." "It's a sacred name." "It's not like jesus!" "It's nothing like jesus!" "I got the baby coming back in a couple of days, and then basically it's just you and me sharing him." "By the way,you- what floor are you on now?" "I live on the fifth floor." "Why?" "What about window guards?" "You got window guards and things out there on the terrace?" "The kid can barely sit up." "How's he gonna make it out to the terrace?" "All right,he starts sittin' up,and the next thing you know, he sees a bird,he wants to touch it,he goes out there, seconds later he's bouncing off the roof of a taxi,ok?" "Eric clapton's kid,does that ring a bell?" "Oh,ok,well,I'll get some window guards." "You sure it's the fifth floor?" "'Cause it seemed much higher then that the last time I was" "I think I know what floor I live on,you big dipshit." "Anywho,so day after tomorrow?" "Yeah,yeah." "I'm so excited." "I can't wait." "I'll talk to you later." "Bye." "Jesus christ." "Bless me,father,for I've sinned." "It has been 3 days since my last confession." "These are my sins." "I took the name of the lord in vain 67 times." "I was envious of my neighbor shirley and her new boyfriend sal." "I stole the newspaper from shirley's doorstep one morning,and..." "I had impure thoughts while I was watching last week's episode of according to jim." "Father?" "I'm sorry." "I won't watch that show anymore." "Well..." "God wants you to watch" " I don't think he cares about the show." "I think you should,uh,just cut down on the name thing, and the stealing thing's probably not a good idea,and,uh... just,you know,say,um,say,um... the hail mary." "Say one hail mary." "Actually,just say the last part of the hail mary." "The last couple lines of the hail mary." "Holy mary,mother of god,pray for our sinners now and at the hour of our death." "Amen." "Hour of our death,shit." " What?" " What?" "Wh-what?" "you're all set." " That's it?" " Yeah,that's total absolution." "Stay away from the name thing and the stealing' thing,and you'll be... golden." "Amen." "All right,see you." "Oh,uh,the,uh... it's broke." "Buy me a drink?" "Yeah." "T- totally." "What-uh,what are you drinking?" "I'm having a bourbon." "Bourbon?" "Ok." "Hey,uh-I'm sorry- bartender." "Can I get a bourbon for the lady?" "You're really super cute,do you know that?" "You have this boyishness about you." "Really?" "You have really soulful eyes." "Please." "Uh,well,what do you think of me?" "You-you,I mean... you're slamming'." " Yeah?" " Yeah." "Totally hot." "Well,thank you,sweetie pie." "Yeah." "How'd you like to get in on a little mother-daughter action?" "Let's go." "Oh,this could be a problem." "Do you want a drink first,or,uh... do you want to just get right to it?" "Oh,I,well,I guess we-we sh-should just get right to it,right?" "Ok." "Yeah." "Ma?" "Are you still up?" "Well,well." "He's delicious." "Here's a new one,boys." "We got a window washer hanging off a broken scaffold on the side of a building." "About how high up are we talking?" "Only 35 floors." "I thought those guys are supposed to work in pairs." "Yeah,well,batchelor number 2 took a nosedive and kissed the curb." "I guess the curb didn't kiss back,huh?" "And humpty dumpty had a great fall." "He just lost points on his landing." "Let's go,ladies." "All right,what do we got?" "He He just regained consciousness." "He keeps reaching for that rope,he's gonna loosen the knot and join his buddy on the pavement." "Jesus christ,I got it." "You're up." "Hey,I'll go wichita." "That thing's not gonna take this amount of weight." "Come on,tommy,let's go." "All right-unh." "Be careful." "Come on." "He's not gonna make it much longer." "Get out there." "******" "Hey,asshole,stop shakin' it!" "All right." "Hang on." "mother of god... oh,shit." "Pray for us sinners... now and in the hour of our death." "Amen." "Ok." "Here I come,pal." "Here comes the rope." " You ready?" " Yeah." " You got it?" " Yeah." "All right." "Holy shit." "Come on up,pal." " Thank you." " All right." "jesus christ." "You ok?" "Ok,let's go inside now." "Don't look down."