"Dr. Weston?" "I'm Walter's daughter," " Natalie." " Very nice to meet you, Natalie." " Thank you so much for coming." " Of course, of course." "How is..." "How is your father doing?" "Physically he's okay." "My mother says to tell everyone he has food poisoning." "That's..." "That's what she told me." "And you believed her?" "Synchro:" "So., mpm" "I'm not hungry." "I don't need any pills." "Leave me alone." "It's Paul." "For Christ's sake." "What are you doing here?" "You missed your session." "I called your home." "Connie told me that you'd..." "You'd been admitted last night." " And she asked you to check in on me?" " I'd have come anyway." "I was worried about having to cancel my session last week, so..." "Well, you can tell Connie you saw me and I sent you home." "They're gonna be discharging me tomorrow." "We'll have a session next week." "I'm not so sure they're gonna discharge you, Walter." "What are you talking about?" "You..." "You may not be ready to go home." "Of course I am." "I had a little food poisoning." "I'm fine." "Food poisoning?" "I'm glad to hear it." "Well, since you're fine, and I'm here, maybe we can..." "maybe we can talk." " Will it help get me out of here?" " It could." "Well, then tell me what you want to know." "First off, are they treating you well here?" "Yeah, it's..." "It's a little showy for a hospital, but the staff's good." "They're in and out all the time, but no, I have no complaints." "So I'll bet you'll be glad to get home." "I really miss my privacy, knowing where my things are." "Actually, I spoke with Connie." "She told me that Natalie was leaving to fly back to Rwanda." "You had an early dinner with both of them, she told me." "Yeah, we ate in." "I don't go out." "People gawk." "And they both ate the same meal as you did?" "Right." "Chinese." "But they didn't get food poisoning." "So maybe I got a bug." "I also talked to your attending physician." " He said that you were lucky." " Lucky?" "That Natalie's flight was canceled." "I don't follow you." "She got a call from the airline while your wife was driving her." "They turned around before they even got to the airport." "So that's what happened." "Another half hour, you wouldn't have made it." "I guess it wasn't my time." "Not now, please." "Do you want to tell me what really happened?" "What's to tell?" "I kissed Natalie goodbye." "I caught a chill after she left so I got back into bed." "When I woke up," "I was here." "Had you been spending a lot of time in bed?" "I don't have anywhere else to be, do I?" "And your daughter Natalie, how long has she been in New York?" "A week, 10 days." "I told you Connie overreacted to my..." "My forced retirement, sent out an S.O.S." "sent out an S.O.S." "The boys came in first from California." "And how was that?" "Awkward as hell." "I didn't know how to talk to them, they didn't know how to talk to me." "We watched basketball, reruns." "My older one ate my food." "The younger one was upset that there was no booze in the house, so he went out and got a bottle of single malt." "After that I never saw him with an empty glass." "Then" "Natalie came." "And the second she got in, they beat it the hell out of there." "And she came all the way from Rwanda." "Paul, I know where she was living." "Yes, but it's just that you'd said before that you felt that she was... done with you." "Yeah, well, Connie must have really laid a guilt trip on her." "And how was it seeing her?" "Uncomfortable." "She wanted to talk about what happened over there, what happened here." "I told her I wasn't in the mood for small talk, she made me get out of bed and shower, shave, get dressed." "Made me go out on walks in the park." "She even took me to the zoo." "She used to love going there when she was a little girl." "So your mood improved when she was here." "Did you find it upsetting when she had to leave?" "Well, of course I was upset, but I wanted her to go." "So whether or not you really were feeling better, you made sure that they both thought you were." "I told you, I was better." "So you had your last meal with Natalie, you kissed her goodbye, they left and you finally had..." "Your privacy." "What I had was the chills." " And what did you take for the chills?" " Aspirin." "Antacid." " What difference does it make?" " They pumped your stomach, Walter." "You were pretty far gone." "And it wasn't from antacids." "So what?" "Probably what happened was I drifted off, woke up, reached out for the wrong pills in my sleep." " I don't believe you." " What the fuck would you know?" "Because it's my job to know." "And I am obligated to express my concern to Dr. Wells and the rest of the team here." "You don't have to be concerned, Paul." "My family isn't going to sue you." "They're not like that pilot's family." "What?" "That's all you're worried about, isn't it?" "I should have vetted you sooner." "But someone on your school..." "I'm on the board, by the way, or was... recommended you and, like I say," "I've been dropping my guard lately." "I think you can still pack a pretty mean punch if you want to." "You seem like a smart fellow." "And I know you wouldn't know anyone who could hurt me." "But still, when the leaks started to really hit the papers," "I told Marie to have HR run a background check on you." "What did you think about it?" "You mean aside from wondering if you were in over your head with me?" "I had other things going." "I didn't even look at it until last week." "Last week..." " after I had to cancel." " Probably around there." "Did you feel I let you down by canceling?" "No, actually I was relieved." "I didn't want to come in and go through the motions." " Is that what coming feels like?" " That's what everything feels like." "I wasn't upset." "But I was surprised." "You convinced me that you were angry about what had happened to me and that you were on my side." "And when I missed a session?" "Boy, you really have a high opinion of yourself, don't you?" "I can't help but notice that's when you decided to read the background check." "I had time on my hands." "And blood." "Just like you." "Is that also what you thought" " when you read about the lawsuit?" " What difference does it make?" "You keep saying "what difference does it make", but I think it does." "With all due respect, Paul, don't flatter yourself." "If you'd been there or not it wouldn't have mattered one bit." "So you're saying your mind was made up, you would have done it anyway one way or the other." "Done what?" "I went to sleep." "I went to sleep." "What was it, a handful of pills?" "A couple of shots of your son's scotch?" "It must have been everything you could do..." "What?" "To hold on until Natalie was gone." "What was she supposed to do, take care of me for the rest of my life?" "Both of them, opening the blinds, fluffing the fucking pillows, making sure I'm dressed." "They were worrying themselves sick about me." "And you didn't want that?" "So I..." "I forced myself to start eating again." "I stopped taking the pills." "I squirreled those away." "I pretended to sleep through the night just so they'd... finally leave me alone for a few hours." "A few hours, that's all you needed then?" "I told Connie she couldn't let Natalie take a car service to the airport." "You figured she wouldn't just drop her off." "She'd wait at the airport for a while." "So you would have enough time." "I wanted Natalie up in the air, as far away from this as possible." "Connie was just supposed to come home and find me asleep." "A millionaire's death." "You know what that means?" "I think I heard my father use that expression." "Yeah, mine too." "You go to bed one night and you don't wake up." "Just close your eyes." "I took the pills, chased them down, took a few more." "I don't even remember the girls coming back." "I must have vomited all over the bed." "I just wanted it to be over, that's all." "It's okay, Walter." "It's okay." "I can't even do that." "What do you mean?" "Just leave it on the table." "Thank you." "Does everyone in the hospital know?" "You have a very good team of doctors." "They assessed the situation the night that... you came in." "Is it in the papers?" "For how long?" "I didn't leave a note." "I left the TV on, left the lights on." "Nobody was supposed to know." "Just an old man... asleep under the covers." "The doorman would have helped." "Short term," "Connie would have mourned, but... she has a support system." "Long term, she'd be a helluva lot better off as my widow than my wife." "I'm sure she would not agree with that, Walter." "She didn't sign on for this." "For what?" "To have a disgraced basket case as a husband." "Do you know what it's like for her?" "She's been a C.E.O's wife and now she has to sneak out through the service entrance of the building next door like..." "Like you do." "It's not the same." "It's different for me." " And why is that?" " Because she didn't do anything wrong." "And you did?" "Everything that's happened to you, you feel that you've deserved it?" "Is that the way you think?" "People died... on my watch, Paul." "Let's not pretend otherwise." "And anyone who's worried about you would be better off if you... weren't around?" "It's just... the objective truth." "You met my daughter?" "She's got her whole life ahead of her." "Now what?" "She's supposed to just put it on hold and... and worry about whether her old man got out of bed that morning or took a shave?" "I've met Natalie." "And she's in a terrifying place right now." "But as hard as it is for her to worry about you," "I'm absolutely certain that if you'd managed to kill yourself, she would never have forgiven herself." "The same way... that you've never forgiven yourself." " It's not the same." " Isn't it?" "You blamed yourself for Tommy's death even though he was the one who jumped." "You blamed yourself for James even though he was hell-bent on destruction." "And you blamed yourself for this crisis even though you did everything possible to avert it." "It wasn't enough, Paul." "Of course it wasn't." "I mean, how could it be?" "You've had... blood on your hands, as you say, your whole life." "And it's shaped everything." "That's why this time when kids died, it wasn't punishment enough to sacrifice your life to your parents, as you did." "This time you had to impose the death penalty on yourself." " I see what you're doing." " And what am I doing?" "Is this how you deal with your guilt?" "You tell yourself that what you feel isn't real?" "That... you did the best you could?" "It's always there." "I always wonder what else I should have done, what the limits truly are of responsibility to another person." "And you can live with that?" " It doesn't affect you?" " Of course it does." "All I can really do is try to... understand what happened and... why I made the choices I made." "To..." "learn from the loss and to..." "Well, it's different for you." "You're a young man." "You can recover from your mistake, move to another state," " start over." " And you don't feel that you can?" "It's too late for me." "We both know that." "Look at you..." "One eye on the door, wondering when you can get out of here and cut your losses." "That's not what I was doing." "Natalie is outside." "What is she still doing here?" "I told her to go home to her mother." " She doesn't listen to me anymore." " She's on watch, Walter." "She doesn't trust that somebody is going to look in on you every 15 minutes or so." "Every 15 minutes?" "Is that what that is?" "You're at risk." " Did you tell her that?" " She told me." "So?" "Tell her I'm fine." ""Tell her I'm fine."" ""You're safe to fly."" " Whatever." " I can't really do that, Walter." "I think you're gonna have to stay here for a little longer." "But I'm fine." "I'm eating." "I'm sleeping." "I just got a little dehydrated." "Just tell them you're my therapist and that there's nothing wrong with me." "I can't do that." "In my opinion... you need to be kept under observation." "And you've made it clear that you don't want your family standing guard duty." "Are you trying to have me committed?" "What I'm saying is that I think it would be a very good idea for you to stay here for a few days." " This hospital is one of the best." " I'll call my lawyer." "He'll bounce you on your ass so fast you won't know what hit you." "You want to sue me, Walter, get in line." "But it's not gonna get you out of here any sooner." "How long?" "Until it's safe for you to leave." "And if the doctors haven't released you within two weeks, then you have the right to make your case before a judge." "A judge?" " Are you kidding me?" " I wish I were." "I don't want anything to happen to you, Walter." "Too late." "Walter, it's not too late." " There's a lot..." " Get out of here, will you?" " Are you sure..." " Just get out of here." "Can I go in to see him?" "I'd give him a few minutes." "He's not coming home tomorrow, is he?" "It's up to the doctors, but..." "I'm going to tell them that he's still at risk to himself." "He doesn't agree, of course, but..." " I can't take the chance." " I know." "Thank you." " Are you all right?" " Me?" "I'm fine." "I'm just thinking about what I'm going to tell my mother." "I'm sorry this is... so much... on you." "Actually I'm surprised that she's not here tonight." "It's for the best." "She is not great in these situations as you can imagine." "Why is that?" "He didn't tell you." "She's been in rehab, I don't know, three, four times." "Pills, booze." "She's gonna go to pieces."