"Previously on "Grey's Anatomy"..." "You understand there are rules to your probation?" "The divorce was finalized this morning." "I think I need a little time to..." " Take some space." " Yeah." "The other night?" "That was me breaking up with you." "I slept with another guy." "It was not cheerful." "It was dirty." " You told me your hand was fine." " And it's not fine!" "Stop" " worrying." " We are a well-oiled machine." "Nobody has to know." "As surgeons, we're trained to look for disease." "You're going camping?" "Uh, with Shepherd." "Yes." "With the sleeping on the ground and everyone peeing behind the same bush?" "Fresh air." "Sometimes the problem's easily detected." "We have back-to-back cabages." "I booked the O.R.s." " I canceled the O.R.s." " Why?" "Because I'm going camping with Shepherd." "But why?" "Getting away, out of the city, men being men." " Mountain men in the wild." " Ah, the open road." "The road not taken." "The uncharted course." "Terra incognita." "Well, okay." "Most of the time, you need to go step-by-step, first probing the surface, looking for any sign of trouble..." "We do have to make one stop." "A mole or a lesion or an unwelcome lump." " Mountain men in the wild!" " Yeah." "Terra incognita." "You know, this is my first camping trip." "Oh, you don't say?" "So, Preston... any other little surprises?" "You have sunscreen and insect repellant?" "Oh and you're gonna need a shovel to bury your poop." "Izzie, I'm not 5." "Zip me." "And if Callie calls, will you tell her..." "Tell her I'm a mountain man." "I'm a man on a mountain, right, Dr. Burke?" "Okay, him I invited." "Izzie baked us treats." "Have fun with your, um... space... or whatever." "I just thought we needed an extra tent." "Maybe Joe misunderstood?" "Hey, you want to follow us or should we follow you?" "This is unbelievable." "Hey, guys." "That wasn't me, I swear." "What are you doing?" "Most of the time, we can't tell what's wrong with somebody by just looking at them." "After all, they can look perfectly fine on the outside while their insides tell us a whole other story." "Derek's camping... taking time," " getting space." " Prestons do not go into the woods." "A guy named Preston is gonna get his ass kicked by a squirrel." "It's basically a slumber party." "They do it outside, we do it inside." "That's really the only difference." "Have you seen what's his face?" "Alex Karev..." "Poor bastard seems to get a thrill out of tagging along after me." "He's camping." "Well, in that case, how'd you like to get a thrill out of tagging along after me?" " Dr. Bailey makes the assignments." " Dr. Bailey says it's fine." "Go." "Stevens, conference room." "You're spending the day with a peer counselor." "Is that like a shrink?" "The hospital's already making me see a shrink." "Go... meet your peer, get counseled." "Exciting procedures on the board today, huh, Yang?" "Yes, Dr. Bailey." "Which one would you like me to start with?" " Are those..." " Monopoly pieces, 21 of them to be exact, mostly houses and hotels." "I also swallowed the thimble, the racecar, oh, and the shoe." "Eric and his older brother don't always get along." "He wouldn't let me play monopoly with him and his friends." "This way nobody could play." "Yang, what do you recommend?" " Is this even surgical?" " Yang." "Track and inventory all the pieces, measure the progress in x-rays, keep examining the stool." "Very good." "Enjoy." "Dr. Bailey, isn't this more of a nurse's job?" "Are you too good to help that boy?" "Yes." "No." "Definitely not." "I-I just thought I'd be more help if I was assisting you in a surgery." "No surgeries for you." "No, I'm..." "I'm sorry." "I don't understand." "I don't understand why you erased my name from the O.R. Board." "I'm..." "I don't know what you're talking about." "No, don't do that." "Don't give me that fake confused look." "It irritates me." "You know exactly what I'm talking about." "You erased my name from Burke's humpty dumpty surgery." "I know it, and you know it." "What I don't know is why." "I... have no comment." "No surgeries, Yang." "Okay, before you start, there are rules to this... friendship thing or whatever." "The dirty mistresses club has rules?" "Gosh, you'd think a bunch of dirty mistresses would be a little less uptight about things like rules." "Number one, no flirting." "Second, no talking about Derek." ""C"... no giving me the face." "The face?" "The Mcsteamy face." "It doesn't work on me." "I'm immune." "You know, if I'd gone off to the woods, I would have invited you to keep me warm." "Breaking rules one, two and three." "Izzie!" "Sydney." " You're my counselor." " Peer counselor." "We're equals." "How are you?" "Fine." "I'm fine." "Now that is "outside Izzie" talking." "Okay?" "How's "inside Izzie"?" "So... you and Derek, you guys together or... just answer the question, and I'll stop asking." "Derek and I are taking some space." "You're taking space from each other, or he's taking some space from you?" "Derek and I, there's just a lot of water under the... thing or something." "Whatever." "My knight in shining poly-cotton." "Morning, Donna." "Vicky." "How was the trip?" " Smooth, perfect." " Speak for yourself." "She's still having some penis issues." "I'm sorry?" "Am I missing something?" "I believe you're missing the fact that Dr. Sloan is planning to remove my husband's penis this afternoon." "Oh." "Uh... and your husband is?" "Right here." "Daniel Gibson, 34, in for sexual reassignment surgery," "Donna, not Daniel." "She's been living as Donna for two years." "Come on, Grey." "So essentially today, we are inverting his, uh, her, uh... her penis." "That's okay." "You'll get it." "You know the steps for a vaginoplasty?" "Not exactly." "Well, if you want to get in on this operation today, you better learn." "Don't pay any attention to him." "You' doing very well." "Better than I did when I first found out." "We just need to run a few pre-op labs, make sure everything's in working order." "And then surgery... today?" "Yeah." "Big day, Donna." "You excited?" "Excited doesn't begin to cover it." "You're gonna do great." "That is a nice-looking picnic basket." "Ah, thank you." "The concierge at the hotel put it together." "We got crackers, uh, pâté and an assortment of Seattle soft cheeses." " Do you like some?" " No, thanks." " Dude, he brought silverware." " You should talk." "Have you ever been camping before?" "What?" "A t-shirt and sneakers?" "You'll freeze your ass off." "So?" "I'm wearing a jacket." "Just do me a favor." "Don't come crawling to me in the middle of the night when you want to huddle for warmth." "That's a good-looking tent, Joe." "Uh, you and Walter got room for one more?" "I thought you'd be sleeping with one of the doctors." "Well, Preston's already got O'Malley for a roommate, and, um... just between you and me, those other tents are pretty puny." "Well, Walter and I were sort of wanting to share this one, just the two of us." "But I guess if you really want to..." "Chief, I don't think you really..." "They've offered, Karev." "Chief, they want to be alone." "So you are, um..." "Chief." "That's wonderful." "Man love." "It's beautiful." "M-my--my cousin's gay," "So I'm, I'm hip." ""Brokeback mountain," and all of that." " Who's ready to go fishing?" " Uh, me." " I'm ready." " Okay, yeah." "Let's go." "Yes, fishing..." "Guess what I'm doing today." "Removing a man's penis." "You got an S.R.S.?" "Seriously?" "He's, uh... she, she," " is one of Sloan's patients." " Oh, god." "That should be me." "I should be turning a penis into a vagina." "That should be my penis." "I have to hide." "Sydney is my peer counselor." ""Heal with love" Sydney." "Yeah, I'm supposed to be shadowing her and dialoguing all day, unless I can come up with a good medical reason not to." "Anybody?" "Anything?" "Couple of houses and the dog." "That's nine pieces so far." "I love the dog." "I'm always the dog when I play monopoly." "Uh, I got a page." "Jamie Carr, she slipped and fell in the shower this morning." "I can't see my own feet." "I... did this." "Ooh, nasty break." "She hasn't had any meds for the pain?" "She refused." "She's toughing it out." "Oh, don't do that." "Don't tough it out." "Just say yes." "Well, the baby," "I know Dr. Montgomery said it was all right." "But," "I'll suffer." "Is he okay?" "I..." "He was kicking like crazy, and... and now..." "It's possible that he's just sleeping." "So... our son sleeps." "He's just sleeping, Jamie." "Do I need a cast?" "Definitely." "But first we need to straighten the bones." "We'll just put your arm in this kind of fancy sling, and use gravity to help realign the bones." "Could you excuse me just a moment?" "I'll be..." "I've got a..." "Trade you?" "Vicky." "Insurance forms." "Donna gets his surgeries, and I do the forms." "Super fun." "Well, you seem to be handling this remarkably well." "Well, I left at first... when she... when he told me." "You plan a life together, you know, kids, and suddenly, that's all out the window." "Suddenly your husband is this other girl in your house who's borrowing your eyeliner and waxing her legs." "But you came back." "Why?" "Honestly, right now" "I have no idea." "I'm really gonna miss the penis." "You okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine." "I'm okay." "I'm good." "Don't make me climb over this stall." "I'll do it, but I'll be really pissed 'cause I don't know you that well." "You're not okay." "Oh, I don't know why..." "There's no reason that this should affect me this much." "I'm used to this." "I am, but..." "Used to what?" "That woman." "Yesterday, she's just as healthy as can be and today... today her baby's dead." "So, uh... how long you and" "Walter been together?" "Ten years, on and off." "But now, definitely on." "Thinking about kids." "That's a big step." "You have kids?" "No." "Oh, I work a lot." "Adele and I, w- well, she always said she didn't want to raise kids alone." "Walter says the same thing." "He does?" "Well, I'm always working at the bar." "But what are you gonna do, right?" "If I'm not there, who's gonna run the place?" "Exactly." "But Walter... if I have to make a change, I'll do it." "I can't imagine my life without him, you know?" "Very nice, O'Malley." "At least once a month, my dad would take me and my brothers to white river." "Well, your dad taught you well." "How are you and, uh, Dr. Torres doing these days?" "Good." "She doesn't know it yet, but we are." "Excellent, even." "For a while, uh, she wanted, I don't know, a certain level of commitment, and I just didn't feel that." "I was re- Now I am, though." " So you're stepping up?" " I'm stepping up." "You knew, right, when it was the right time with you and Cristina?" "Right." "You okay?" "Absolutely." " Because, uh..." " We're here to fish, remember?" "Right." "I'm gonna see if I can get a better bite downstream." "Okay." "I'm sorry, Donna." "The labs don't lie." "Breast cancer?" "I'm sorry." "I'm really..." "The needle aspiration showed abnormal cells in your breast tissue." "Rare, but it happens." "So, the hormones I've been taking are essentially giving me cancer?" "Yes." "That's why we need to stop the hormone therapy and start the treatment." "Or the cancer will get worse." "The operation?" "There'd really be no point." "Once we stop the hormones, your breasts will shrink, your facial hair will grow back." "She'll become a man again." "What if I do the operation, keep taking the hormones?" "What, what happens then?" "Donna, you really want to treat this now while it's still in its early stages." "So if I keep taking the hormones..." "You'd be feeding the cancer." "I could die?" "Are you saying if I become a woman," "I could die?" "They are a happy couple." "Look at them." "They love each other." "They should have everything." "Happy people should have... happy things happen to them." " I gotta go tell 'em." " Wait." "The moment you tell them, they won't be happy anymore." "Give 'em a few more minutes." "Let 'em be happy..." "A few more minutes." "So you're gettin' back with Callie?" "Yeah." "Trust me, man, I don't think you really want to do that." "Really?" "Really." "I guess when I get back, I'm gonna tell her that we shouldn't see each other anymore, and then when she asks why," "I'm just gonna say, "Well," "Alex Karev thinks our relationship isn't such a good idea"" "You think that'll do the trick?" "Fine." "Suit yourself." "This was my camping trip." "I was gonna come alone." "So why did you invite me?" "Because... it's a guy trip, you know?" "Mountain men." "You don't have any friends, do you?" "Of course I have friends." "Guy friends?" "Yes." "I just need peace... space." "I have a right to space." "And you go and invite half the hospital." "That's because I have guy friends." "There you are." "I have been looking all over." "Oh, Dr. Yang needed some help with this patient." "She needed some help." "Oh, well... patient care always comes first." "So..." "Uh, what..." "Oh, I'll just wait." " Wait?" " Yeah, for you to finish, and then we'll dialogue." "Okay." "So... what happens with Donna now?" "She goes back to being an unhappy man who's stuck with a penis." "There are millions of us out there." " You're unhappy with your penis?" " I could be a lot less unhappy." "Maybe it's for the best that he's taking some space." "Maybe... you two aren't meant to be together." "Look," "Derek... on the outside, he holds it all together, but" "he's damaged goods, Meredith." "It's my fault." "I damaged him, maybe forever." "You really want to drink from a poisoned well?" "Dr. Sloan... you have to talk to her." "Donna says she wants to go through with the operation." "Joe and Walter got tired of not catching any fish." "They went for a hike." "What do you make of that?" "Joe and Walter?" "Oh, no, no, no." "Joe and Walter are great." "I mean that we haven't caught any fish." "Any theories?" "Just one." "Fish generally don't like to go where there's a lot of noise." "You notice anything going on with Burke?" " No." " 'Cause before, I thought I saw..." "What are you doing?" "You don't use bait when you're casting." "It's gonna fall off before it hits the water." "Here." "What are you..." "Here, here, here, here, here." " What you want to..." " She's sleeping with Sloan, dude." " What?" " Callie." "She's sleeping with Sloan." "No, she's not." "Torres is doing Sloan." "You better take that back." "Yeah, people chatting, laughing, moving around, that sort of thing?" "That sort of thing let's the fish know that they're not alone." " That's the theory." " So I invited other people?" "I'm just saying, it's not a frat party." "Take it back!" "Oh, for god's sake." "What are you guys doing?" "Break it up!" "Break it up!" "I don't condone fighting." "I don't like fighting." "I think it is pointless and foolish." "But you two idiots seem determined to beat the hell out of each other." "So if you're gonna do it, you're gonna do it by my rules." " Rules?" " Yes, O'Malley, rules, to help you protect your hands so you don't do irreparable damage to them..." " You're dead." " Damage that would end your careers before they even started." "So with that in mind, wee gonna do open-handed combat." " A slap fight?" "!" " Open-handed combat." " This is ridiculous." " There will be no scratching," " no biting." " Karev is gonna kill him." " Not necessarily." " No punching, no kicking, no wrestling moves of any kind." "Now any questions?" " That doesn't leave us with much." " All right." " O'Malley's a scrapper." " A scrapper?" "He's gonna destroy him." "He's tougher than he looks." " Silent, but deadly." " This is immature and stupid." " I think you'd agree with me." " They're letting off some steam." "This is why you don't have any guy friends." "Yeah, this is why I should've come alone." "Ready?" "Let's go." "I've wanted this since I can remember." "I've waited forever." "I'm not stopping now." "Donna, listen to me..." "If you don't do the operation, I'm gonna go to New York and find another doctor." "You're gonna have a very hard time finding a surgeon." " I'll find one." " Donna, I'm trying to save your life." "As a man." "I am not a man." "I'll fight the cancer." "I'll just fight it as a woman." "For god's sake, wake up, Daniel!" "My name is Donna." "I'm not gonna stand by and watch you kill yourself." "I need Vicky to love me." "But I need her to love... me." "Oh, my god." "Please, tell me it's gonna stop hurting soon." "You're almost done." "When our son's 15, and he's yelling at you that you never did anything for him, you can guilt him with the wrist." "Ted, Jamie, I need to talk to you... about the baby." "Dr. Montgomery..." "You have to say it." "I won't believe it unless you say it." "You have to say it." "Thanks for this, Izzie." "Thank you." "No good deed goes unpunished." ""Good deed"?" "You're making me dig through crap." "It's not like I asked her to spend the day with me." "How's it goin' in there?" "Any luck?" "Okay, I can't have that grinning puppet head stare at me another second," " so just go." " Cristina." "Hey, this is my crap." "This is my crap." "Bailey assigned me this crap." "You get Sydney." "Fine." "Come on, Sydney." "We can go." "Okeydokey, smokey." "Man, I thought my brother and I had problems," " but you two are morons." " Okay, well, swallowing monopoly pieces wasn't exactly a genius move." "You could've really hurt yourself." "I didn't, did I?" "Now my mom's gonna make my brother let me play all the monopoly I want." "I get to play." "It's all that matters, getting to play." "And that makes you smart?" "You're fishing through my poop." "How smart are you?" " Take it back." " Nothing to take back." "That's right, Karev." "Whatever it was, don't take it back." "You don't even know why they're fighting." "Arms up, O'Malley." "Don't drop your arms." "Hey, hey, no wrestling." "No wrestling." "Come on." " This is stupid." " George is defending his honor." "Karev said that, uh, Sloan's been sleeping with Torres." " He what?" " O'Malley, arms up." "Next time, we're not going camping with straight guys." "Oh, watch..." "Oh, no." "God." "So, basically,you're getting paid to look at penises all day." "I'm studying for Mcsteamy's reassignment surgery." " You like Mcsteamy." " Yes." "I mean, no." "No, not like that." "Just... you know, he thinks I'm better off without Derek's baggage." "Thinks there's too much history there." "Maybe in his own sick, twisted way, he's just trying to protect me." "Protect you?" "Maybe." "Hey, um..." "When your mother was first diagnosed with alzheimer's..." "Why didn't you tell anyone?" "She asked me not to." "Why?" "So you think it was right to keep her secret?" "Yes." "Why?" "Even if it meant you had to fish crap out of a toilet all day and probably for years to come?" "Okay, rewind." "Start at the beginning." " Whose secret are you keeping?" " Oh, wait." "What the hell happened?" " He was fine one minute, and then he just..." " Eric, lay down, okay?" "His abdomen is rigid." "There's blood in the vomit." "He's perfed." "Page Bailey." "There's a lot of blood, but, uh, it didn't penetrate the galea." "Is that a good thing?" "Yeah, it means we don't have to do deep stitches." "You're using a fishing hook?" "Ah, don't worry." "We sterilized it." "Also clipped off the barb." "It's good as a needle." "All right, wound's clean." "Just keep some pressure on there, will you, Chief?" " Got it." " Okay, we're gonna do some stitches now," " all right, Walter?" " Is it gonna hurt?" "Yes." "It's okay." "Karev, you wanna sew him up?" "Oh, no." "No." "No, forget it." "I want an attending." "Thanks, dude." "We're doing some kind of crazy Mac Gyver surgery in the middle of the woods." "I want what's best for my guy, okay?" "No offense." "Don't worry." "Dr. Burke's really good at doing this." "Well, you are, right?" "Right." "There's still a little bleeding there." "Hold on, Walter." "You got it?" "I always have it." "You want something?" "He is my patient." "I've been with him all day." "If there's any chance that I can get in on this surgery, I'd really..." "Why'd you erase my name from the board?" "I don't know what you're talking about." "You really wanna go head-to-head with me on this?" "You really want that?" "Right now, this second, in this moment, you chose your own fate." "So tell me about Denny." "What?" "Yeah, it helps to, uh... to talk about what happened." " So as much as you can..." " Okay, we are done here." "Izzie, really..." " It helps to share." " No." "I don't want to share with you." "Do you know what I've been doing all day?" "Sifting through feces." "I would rather sift through feces than talk to you." "And now you bring up Denny like you want me to... to gossip with you." "Well, I understand this." "This must be difficult." "You understand?" "Really?" "What, you cut someone's lvad wire?" "You fell in love with a man and he died?" "Well, no, but..." "Then how in the hell could you possibly know?" "Grey, what's our next step?" "Continue the primary incision of the ventral side of the shaft." "I am surprised you agreed to do the surgery." "People don't come to me to fix what's on the outside." "They come to me to fix what's on the inside." "So, if that means giving someone a straighter nose or bigger breasts or... if that helps a person get by..." "I don't run." "I don't hide." "I don't take space." "Well, don't look at me." "I didn't start it." "Karev." "What?" "I just came out here to have some fun." "Then the guy gets all over me about what I'm wearing." " He just rubs me the wrong way." " You're on a camping trip." "You're supposed to be enjoying the great outdoors." "You know I grew up in a bar?" "Literally in a bar." "My dad was always doing one of two things in there." "Playing music or drinking." "Dude never even took me to the park." "I just figured this was my chance to get out with the guys." "The one time I try..." "You wanted to be a different person." "They're a happy couple." "Yeah." "I miss my wife." "You have high standards." " You have high standards." " Your standards are too high." "You... make people out to be... and people make mistakes." "Your standards are too high." "You see a flaw, you attack." "Wait, wait." "So you're saying that, uh," " if Cristina did something like..." " Cristina and I are a team." "We are a team." "You're either part of a team or you play alone for the rest of your life." "good." "Push, Jamie." "Okay..." "I need you to push one more time, Jamie." "Ted." "One more time." "Push." "Push." "Push." "Good." "We got it." "So that Mark Sloan..." "He's bad news." "He's a cancer." "He infects everything." "What are we, three hours out of Seattle?" "And still... he infects everything." "You know, I thought if I just got away for a while by myself," "I'd get some answers, get a fresh start." "Fresh starts... no such thing." "Any other words of wisdom there, Chief?" "I'm living in a hotel." "I buy most of my clothes from the hotel gift shop, and my wife won't speak to me." "Oh, don't look at me." "I came out here for the same reasons you did." "I have no wisdom." "There is no wisdom here." "So in other words... we're all a bunch of idiots." "Yes!" "Who wants to go home?" "I lost a kid... my first year." "It was my fault." "And I just couldn't..." "So I had a breakdown." "They gave me time off, and when I came back, I put a smile on my face, and everybody thought I was fine." "I lost a kid." "It comes in waves, Izzie." "There's a lull, and then... another wave hits you." "I wasn't trying to pry." "I just wanted you to know that... it's okay not to be fine s-sometimes." "I miss him." "All the time, I miss him." "It's not waves, it's constant, all the time." "And I walk through the doors of this hospital, and I want to be here," "I do." "But I..." "I don't know... if I can be a surgeon again, and I can't talk about it because it scares me too much." "Okay?" "Okay." "You came back." "I was heading home." "I was on my way to the airport, and then..." "You know, you asked before why I came back the first time." "You know, I tried not to." "I went on dates." "I had a lot of great first dates with... guys who were planning to stay guys." "But, you know, you have a great date, and you want to go and tell your best friend about it." "And my best friend is Daniel." "Donna." "And then you have a few bad dates, and... she's my best friend." "She knows me." "She loves me." "She's... my husband." "At the end of the day, it's Donna, even when she hurts me," "even when I hate her." "She's who you want to talk to." "Not all wounds are superficial." "So... you're sleeping with Sloan." "Was." "Me, too." "Was." "Which is just a hailstorm of self-loathing and misery." "Yeah." "Hey, you want to, um... get a drink or something?" "Some other time then." "Definitely." "Most wounds run deeper than we can imagine." "He'll make a full recovery." "You can't see them with the naked eye." "You're back." "Yes." "I'm glad you're back." "Me, too." "George, we need to talk." " Yeah, I think we do." " It's about your dad, George." "My dad?" "And then there are the wounds that take us by surprise." "So... this could be just a drink, or this could be more than a drink." " I cannot start something with you." " You could." "Start over, Meredith." "Start fresh." "Saved by the bell." "Order me another beer." "Hi." "I'm Derek Shepherd." "What are you doing?" "Well, we met at this bar." "You remember?" "We met, and we, well, you said, uh," ""I'm just a girl" I said, "I'm just a guy"" "and we started this thing." "We started this thing." "You didn't know anything about me, the good, the bad, the wife." "You didn't even know my name." "You didn't know me." "I want you to know me." "I want to start over from the beginning." "So, hi." "Derek Shepherd." "You walked away." "And now it's too late." "There's too much water under the thing" " or whatever." " Meredith..." "Please." "The trick with any kind of wound or disease is to dig down and find the real source of the injury." "Hi." "I'm Meredith Grey." "Very nice to meet you, Meredith." "It's nice to meet you." "And once you've found it... try like hell to heal that sucker."