"I remember when I was 13 years old, it was national "coming out" day." "As I was running out the house with my friend," "I turned to my dad, and I screamed to him across the house," ""dad, I just want to let you know I'm gay."" "And he's, like, "okay." "Bye"" "and I was, like, "bye." That was it." "Coming out to my mom wasn't as easy as coming out to my dad." "My mom looked at me and she said," ""I always thought, Nik," ""that you were in love with your college roommate, and you struggled with that."" "And she was right." "I did grow up in a very religious household." "My grandmother, it took her probably, like, five years to say the word "lesbian."" "When I told my parents, it was one of the scariest things I had ever done." "With my family, it was easy." "Once I knew who I was," "I really didn't give a fuck about what anyone else thought." "I said, "you know, mom, I met somebody." "She's a woman." "Her name is Kelly."" "My mom's face dropped." "And, I mean, it's a face" "I never really want to see again." "I didn't really care about what other people thought, but I always felt like I was doing something wrong." "It's like, literally, that catholic guilt." "I felt like I was almost disappointing the most important person in my life." "My parents said things like," ""we want you to be happy." "But we're gonna need a second to just get used to it because it's not the life that we thought might live."" "The only thing that was a little odd was my grandmother, 'cause she couldn't identify with "who are you making out with, and who is just your friend?"" "So I wasn't allowed to have anyone in my room after I came out, which is kind of a bummer." "Previously on The Real L Word..." "We're going to make it rain." "We're talking 20 fucking grand." "We're coming down to the wire, and this is definitely the biggest production" "I have ever done for Fashion Week." "So we're looking to pull in some dollars to try to raise some capital for this tenting." "And now 15,000 turns into $20,000 in one second." "How are we gonna pull this off?" "I am so ready to go to San Francisco and leave this girl drama behind." " Have fun." " See ya." "The whole thing is ridiculous." "I have no commitment to Whitney at this point." "She can do whatever she wants." "I've let people in and trusted them only when I know that they feel more for me." "For a moment, I actually looked at Sara as, like, okay, when I'm ready to be in a relationship, she's somebody I could potentially be with." "But now, I'm starting to reconsider." "Message sent today." "So we're waiting to hear back from Camilla, the wedding planner." "I'm very glad you guys decided to go with us." "You can't back out now." "You better love me forever." "'Cause she's very expensive." "Check that off our list." "Now we're on to dresses." "Mama, they have to do some things to this." "Oh!" "What's not to like?" "I want it to feel right and know that I'm making a wise decision." " Come in this weekend?" " Yeah." "Your mom's on Facebook?" "Yep." "I friend requested your mom." "Let me see." "She's gonna be my friend on the Internet, but not in real life." "Tracy's been out for five years." "I think she's at a point where she needs her mom." "We all want our mom's support." " Hi, mama bear." " Hi, sweetie." "How are you?" "I think I have the flu." "I don't really know." "I think Stamie's kids gave it to me." "Um... yeah, yeah, yeah." "Nat, slow the fuck down and relax for a second." "Seriously." "She's screaming and yelling at me." "I'm so frustrated." "Like, I was frustrated..." "Let me fucking unwind for a second!" "If she wants to be bitchy and snappy and angry, fine." "But now I'm getting a free pass." "Exes!" "I'm about to have one after all this." "What's up, bromance?" "I haven't seen you in so long, fool." "Since dinner last night." "No, I'm not in trouble." "The only way I get in trouble is if you get all drunk one night, you're, like, "remember the strippers?"" "So how was last night?" "What happened?" "That was on someone's tit." "I was sandwiched by breasts." "It was the two strippers..." "That's four breasts." "And then Danielle." "So two and a half sets of breasts." "Fuck no." "You guys, nobody bbm, twit... nothing." "Tweet." "Nothing... twatter... nothing." "She'd be cool with it." "No, she would not be cool with it." "We had this conversation." "But I didn't do anything wrong." "And so if it does make or break us, that's retarded." "Let's say Natalie had a night like that." "No." "No." "Double standard." " I don't give a fuck, dude." " It's not okay." "No, but I'm curious." "I'm just curious." "Let's say that did happen." "How would you react?" "Are you kidding?" "It's not gonna happen." "I'll put her ass out for, like, a while." "She'd be a Puerto Rican husband." "No." "No, double standards." "That's what causes problems." "Fag, I'm not double standards." "I'm just saying, like, I'm growing up." "You know?" "Here's the thing." "Like, normally," "I probably would have did some bad stuff with the strippers." "But now I'm, like, cool." "I had fun." "And it was innocent." "No one did anything." " So you acted well?" " Yeah." "Totally." "She didn't touch." "It touched her, but she didn't touch." "It slapped me on the forehead, but that was cool." "Knock knock." " Just the two of you?" " Yeah." "Yeah." "Why would we bring them with us?" "Oh!" "I hang out with my family a lot, so I have two sisters out here." "So tonight, everyone's coming over to have dinner and watch a movie." " I like this." " I just got it." "You do look like your dog, dude." "I look like Tracy's dog." "They both have boyfriends." "It's cute." "Hi, how are you?" " Nice to see you." " Nice to see you." "We're close in age, and just close in general." "Amy is a year and a half younger than me, and Audrey is five years younger." "And since I came out, Amy seems to be taking a little bit of time to kind of come around." "And Audrey, she was out at gay bars more than I was, which was really interesting." "Especially since she's the straightest girl I know." "So what's new, girls?" "How was your trip with your mom" " when you went home?" " It was really nice." " Did she ask about me?" " No." "No?" "Weird." "Do you guys think mom's gonna love Stamie?" "I don't know." "I don't know." "Wait, I didn't see expressions." "I love every time we bring it up, it just gets, like, heavy." "The air just gets, like, boof!" "All right, let's talk about your mom and how I'm gonna dress up to impress her." "No." " "You're okay."" " What?" "What do you think?" "She'll be, like..." "It's your boyfriend." "Put a muzzle on him." "Amy... you're scare me!" "You're scary, right?" "Yeah, you get these expressions, and I'm, like, "told you."" "I don't know Amy very well, but I've hung out with her a bunch and, you know..." "But I haven't really sat down with her and had, like, a one-on-one conversation." "Amy, you are scary, I have to say." "I do think if I keep trying, I can win her over." "I'm hungry, and I want food, and I want to order." "Come here." "Let me breast feed you, baby." "Seriously, Blake, give me the phone number." "Can I call and get these people to shut up so they can eat, and we can just move on and watch the show?" "This is kind of very irritating for me right now." "This is a terrible place to order food from." " It's so yummy, though." " What, you need a break?" " Really?" " You never see me." " Are you being serious?" " She's dead serious." " Tracy misses you." " You guys can cuddle." "Go on." "Amy is the middle child." "And we've done everything together our entire lives." "I moved out here and she moved out here." "So I think she was used to me, you know, dating guys." "And the day, you know, that I sort of broke the news to her, in a way, she was just sideswiped." " Baby." " What?" " Are you okay?" " It's frustrating." "It's just, like, a weird energy." "Well, it's family." "It's family, but like, we haven't seen each other in a while, and it's weird... you know?" "Mm-hmm." "That is so adorable." "It is." "It's so cute." "Jill and I needed to sit down at dinner and talk about our wedding." "So we've set up a private dining room for ourselves at bastide." "Thank you so much." " Enjoy, ladies." " Thank you." "And now that Camilla's on board, we have to find a venue for our wedding." "I'm getting nervous a little." " Are you?" " Yeah." " You having second thoughts?" " No!" "I feel like there are so many things to do, but I think, you know, once the place is booked," " everything will just unfold." " Right." " Then start writing checks." " Right." " Do you feel like it's Malibu?" " I do." "I mean, I feel like it could be Beverly hills." "I feel like it has to feel like the right house." "So along those lines, I think we just make a pact that every decision we make..." "the house, the caterer... everything... no arguing." "I'm not suggesting you are the arguer." "I'm just saying we're not gonna argue." "Okay, no arguing." "Nik and I both realize that wedding planning is stressful." "I think that we're just starting to develop stronger opinions about stuff." "We both have strong personalities too, so when those opinions aren't aligned, we can kind of butt heads a little bit." "Are we agreeing that we're gonna have just a best man and a best woman?" "Yeah." "I don't want to have bridesmaids." "I don't feel like it's necessary unless you tell me otherwise." "Are you gonna have your mom walk you down?" "Yeah, I'm having a hard time with that whole thing." " I know." " You know?" "You want to talk about it?" "I mean, look, I want my mom to walk me down the aisle." "I do." "I just feel like... my dad should be walking me down the aisle." "I feel like my dad is very set." "He's afraid to go outside of his comfort zone." "As long as I've known him, he's never been on a plane, and I haven't had much of a relationship with him since my parents got divorced." "I mean, because that's tradition?" "I mean, if you're gonna play by tradition, then I should be a man." "Right?" "I mean, our whole relationship is about what's right for you... what feels right for your heart." "So this is our wedding, our union." "So whatever feels best for you." "But you know, you grow up and you have an idea of your wedding." "And then you also have an idea of who you think your parents are." "And then when they turn out to not be the people that you think they should have been..." "It's been very disappointing for me to not... have... a father in my life as an adult." "My parents got divorced when I was in my 20s, and that was really hard for me." "And the last time I heard from my father was when I appeared on Oprah in 2006." "I'll never forget the phone call that he made to me after the divorce." "At the time, I was married to a man." "I was married very young in my 20s, and it was a show about women who figured out they were gay after they were married." "Then what I remember he said was, over the phone," ""I was in my house the other day and turned on Oprah and saw a beautiful woman." "And I thought to myself, 'what a waste of a woman' when I heard the subject matter." "And then I realized it was you."" "My mom will walk me down the aisle, and it will be a little bittersweet." "I know." "Nik is one of the most loving individuals I have ever met." "She's never done a thing wrong." "She's never done anything but love him." "And it's a shame that she doesn't have that back from her dad." "So we're just gonna plan out our wedding." " Okay." "Deal." " Yeah?" " I love you." " I love you too." "So much." "I have a pretty small family." "I have one sister, Alexis." "She actually lives in L.A. now." "I'm starving." "I'm gonna eat this ketchup." "Our relationship is, for the most part, great." "She's one of my best friends." "I have her name tattooed on my arm." "I love her more than anybody in this world." "Um..." "I have enough... drama from my mama." "Actually, I've been doing a good job not doing that." " It's not the weekend yet." " No!" "I swear to God, I'm doing this thing where I'm, like, so brutally honest with girls." "Like Romi, for example." "I'll be, like," ""I know you're out with Sara this weekend,"" "you know what I'm saying?" "And she looks at me and she's like," ""I can't believe I'm talking to you."" "That's good, 'cause if you open up that kind of conversation, then it's..." "But I am so open about it." "No secrets. "You know I can't be in a relationship." "And, like, I'm not ready." "So if you want to still talk to me and deal with me in this way, you know this."" "All right, well, that's good." "And so it makes me feel like, wow..." "I should have been doing this all along." " 'Cause it actually is good." " Yeah." "I mean, I'm being honest, but I just leave out pieces of information." "Or I just think it's none of their business, and then it hurts in the end." "But now I'm, like, so honest." "Honestly, I've kind of cleared the air with everybody." "So things are good with Romi and I." "I realize now... if I lay all my cards out on the table... at this point, if you choose to still want to associate with me, be friends with me, sleep with me, have feelings for me," "that is all you." "I talked to dad the other day." "Really?" "Yeah." "Why?" "Because I haven't heard you say that for, like..." " nine months." " Why?" "I thought I was the only one who talked to him anymore." " I called him." " Good." "Well, it's not like he calls me, okay?" "All these years I harbored resentment for my father because when I was younger, he ended up having an affair on my mom." "No, my conversations with him lately have been very good." "And he doesn't have a job." "He can call if he wants to, but I called him." "It's not a matter of time." "What is it a matter of?" "Being used to calling people." "He calls his friends." "Women love him, you know, I used to be on the soccer field, and literally, my father would be sitting in the bleachers surrounded by the soccer moms." "None of them would be paying attention to the game... at all." "And I'd look over, like..." "and it pissed me off." "And you know, basically, today," "I see common characteristics between my father and I." "But honestly, it's not something I'm proud of." "Like, it's really not." " Bye!" " You're, like, "bye!"" "Where's our... where's our van?" "I think we're over here." "In addition to producing Los Angeles Fashion Weekend, we also produce an event in New York twice a year." "It's called The Gallery NYC, in which we bring out a handful of L.A. designers to meet the New York press before they hit the runway in L.A." " Hello." " Hello." " How are you today?" " Pretty good." " I'll take it." " Oh, thank you." "But it's important for these brands to be recognized on the east coast... to really garner a ton of press before Fashion Week." "So we head straight to the New York showroom right now." "We're going to set up, and we have a lot of ground to cover today." "Hi." "Good morning." " How are you?" " Hello." " I'm Shanna." " You're Shanna?" "How are you?" "Nice to meet you." "And I will get a steamer out for you in one second, okay?" "We bring a lot of L.A. designers out to New York so they have an opportunity to meet these New York editors face to face." "Because the big press editors are all in New York, and unfortunately, with problems with the economy, a lot of the west coast offices of these big publications have been laid off, so they don't have an opportunity to reach them directly." "Um, starting at 9:00, we have editor appointments all day long here today." "So I'm really excited, and I think if we can get a lot of editors in this morning, we're gonna be doing really good." "I quit my job at the hair salon I was at, and now I'm gonna be working with Rose." "I want to look good and feel good for this new job, so my sister Leslie and I are gonna get our nails done." "Ooh, I like that." "That's a pretty purple." "Is that called calamari shrimp?" "I don't think I want that." " It doesn't open." " It's not meant to be." "Leslie is my older sister." "There's five of us..." "three girls, two boys." "And three of us are gay." "Leslie, myself, and my younger brother Steven." "How was your weekend?" "I snapped at Rose on Saturday because I was mad." "You know I told you about that lesbian wedding?" "So when I was driving to the wedding, she gave me the right directions, but because I was so frustrated," "I was reading them wrong." "And I'm, like, "what the fuck?" "You gave me the wrong fuckin' directions!"" "I just snapped." "I lost..." "like, I was just pissed." "I snapped at Rose because it was very stressful quitting my job." "You know, I think every couple... like, we have our four weeks that we can be in love, and that one week where we're just kind of off." "I'm happy that we can get through all the silly stuff because we're gonna be working together in the same office." "Dude, this morning I felt like such a housewife." "Rose was leaving, and she said," ""could you iron this for me, please?"" "She was running late. "And then, after you're done, here's the card... go shop your little heart out."" "Uh-uh." "I'm like her, like, wife." " The baby mama." " Yeah." "It's kind of just in my nature to just be attentive." "I have all my sisters." "I've always wanted to be married, younger rather than older." "I think mom would think Rose is funny." "You should plan a dinner first with you, mom, and Rose." "You too." "You have to be there too." "Rose feels really comfortable." " Like, you're like her safety." " Really?" "Yeah." "Leslie and Rose, I think they've known each other for, like, four or five years due to, you know," "Leslie DJ-ing and being in the same scene and stuff of that sort before I ever came along." "I live with Rose." "I think it's important for mom to know, like, what my life is about." "Yeah, totally." "Rose is a big part of my life." "I would love for my mom to get to know" "Rose and my relationship." "That's a pretty color on you." "I had a bunch of changes this morning." " Are we good?" " No, we're fine." "We still have a bunch of editors that are gonna come tomorrow." " And we have a lot today." " We do?" "We just have people that are changing to tomorrow on top of everything else." " Okay." " We're fine." "We have lots today, but there's just, like, some of the majors..." "What time do our appointments start?" " At 9:00." " Okay." "Alison Kennedy is an amazing P.R. woman." "We always partner up for these media events." "So how we work is I handle the production, and I hire her to book appointments with the New York editors." "Good." "So our 9:30 missed, and our 10:00s are late?" "No, she's not missing, babe." " Don't... don't go there." " Okay." "You know how I get stressed out." "Don't be negative." "Negator." "We've had three or four editors miss their appointment this morning." "Now I'm super stressed out." "It's already 10:30, and we haven't had any editors walk in." "This is not a good start to a press event." "Everybody's looking at me and wondering" ""where are the editors?"" "Let's try to keep people happy." "I know." "We've had a 9:30 appointment, you know, two 10:00s." "Nobody's showed up, so I just want to know what's going on." " I will not let you guys down." " Okay, great." "Because..." "I live for this." "I really do." "But I want you to go through the list from 11:00 on and just start confirming some people, and I'll..." "You go from 11:00 to 1:30, and I'll do 2:00 to 5:00." "How you feeling today?" " Feeling good?" " Yeah." "You know..." "You need some coffee?" "Did you get coffee yet?" " No, I'm okay." " You sure?" " We have some right here." " I'm an OJ kinda tea girl." "Speaking of OJ," "I'm a champagne-oj kind of girl." "All good days start with a mimosa." "Definitely nothing bad can happen once they start drinking." "The only thing I really know how to do in this situation is try to get everybody in a good mood." "So when the editors come in later this afternoon, everybody feels like they're having a good time." " Mimosa?" " Oh..." "Oh!" "That's the expression I want to hear when you hand somebody a cocktail." " Salud!" " Thank you very much." " Cheers." " Cheers." "Here you go." " Thank you." " You're welcome." "Lindee?" "Mimosa?" "Um, I'm okay." " You're okay?" " For now." " Water, soda, juice?" " I'm good, thank you." "Straight orange juice?" "I just hate having my clients not being very happy about what's going on." "And, you know, having a slow start is kind of, for me, like, the worst thing that could happen because they possibly are thinking in their head," ""fuck!" "Is this what fashion week is gonna be like?"" " Are you cocktailing already?" " Of course." "Hi." "Whatcha doing?" "Do you want to go to brunch tomorrow?" "Okay, cool." "After movie night, I decided to call my sister Amy." "I am hoping to connect with her and make sure everything's okay." "Oh, my God." "I'm kind of happy mom asked, but I'm a little bit bummed she didn't ask me, and she goes and talks to you about it." "Amy mentions that she got a call from my mother asking about Stamie." "I think it's a huge step." "These are things we never talked about before." "And even if she's talking to my sister about it, that's a step forward for me." "I don't think it should be any different." "My mom should come to me." "She should come straight to the source." "It's weird." "I mean, it's great to hear that she's talking to you about it, but it's something like..." "I'm sort of waiting for her to come to me." "You know, ask me about Stamie." "Even though Amy's sort of dealing with this at her own pace, she knows that she needs to sort of help get my mother there." "She is the middleman." "Yeah, it is a big step for her." "All right, bye." "Today, Nik and I are heading up to Malibu to look at an estate where we might be able to have our wedding." "This is our celebration of our love, and I want it to be perfect." "Wow!" " Can we just say "I do"?" " I do!" "We don't need flowers." "Who needs flowers?" "Wow." "Whoa." "Wow." "Whoa." " Hi, I'm Nikki." " This is Marissa." "Nice to meet you." " Hi, I'm Jill." " Nice to meet you." "Hi..." " Shall we begin?" " Absolutely." "Oh, my goodness." "Oh, it is so beautiful." "These homes are so beautiful." "This house is unbelievable." "It's everything and more than I thought it would be." "Wow." "I love the flow of this house." "The indoor, outdoor." "This is fantastic." "When you're in the house, the house doesn't even need art on the walls." "It's just incredible." "I really... is my mouth open?" "Like, I can't..." "I... it's better than I ever, ever, ever expected." "Oh, Nik's done." "Nik is sold on this house." "I could tell." "She trusts her instincts a little bit more than I trust mine." "This is absolutely to die." "Our last party, they used this as cocktails." "And they they staged their whole sit-down dinner and dancing over at the sport court, which we'll show you." "The grounds are beautiful, and then there's another spot where we'd have dinner and dancing." "And there's two acres' worth of parking." "And it's just, like, insane." "Done." "I have to have this house." "So you had 150 people in this area..." " Yes." " For a sit-down?" "Oh, easily yours would fit." "Yeah, it's eight tables of ten." "I'd love that we have the wedding over there." "You know, in that area with the view." "I already saw the wedding." "And I saw Jill walking down the aisle with her parents." "I mean, I saw the whole thing." "The only dislike about this house is that I don't own it." "It's sickening." "Do we have to leave?" "Thanks, you guys." "It was a pleasure." "Oh, oh, right." "Okay, right, right, right." "Today, we haven't had any big editors walk in." "I want to make everybody happy." "We have a lot riding on this event." "Did you meet some good editors today?" "I don't know." "It's hard to tell." "I mean, it's, um..." "I hope so." " Yeah." " I hope so." "I just get really stressed when we have lulls in our day, and it's just, like, fuck, man!" "You just want the editors to get here already." "We had about eight editors that missed their appointments this morning." "When a morning starts like that," "I start freaking out." "It's gonna be okay, but I do know that crazy fucking feeling where you're, like, "oh, my God."" "And that's why I'm just trying to talk to you because..." "If the situation was reversed, there's nothing" "I would be able to say to you to make you feel better." "That's why I'm trying to, like, manage you, because I'm trying to tell you, look, I hear what you're saying, and I want you to feel better." "And it's like I want to do something to help you." "I know you want to." "And I know you can't make people appear out of nowhere." "You know, we're all doing the best that we can, but of course I'm gonna be stressed." "Of course you are." "Believe me, I've been..." "I'll see you tomorrow." "Diane, Diane!" "Always real." "I don't understand." "Glad you made it." " See you tomorrow." " See you tomorrow." "Bye." "So we're wrapping up, and I was really hoping that there'd be a little bit more top-tier magazines." "I think that's what the hope was." "Ladies..." "Back to reality!" "I'm dying to know what you ladies thought." "Absolutely exquisite." "I am obsessed with that house in Malibu." "From the moment that I got out of the car with Jill," "I knew that this was where we were getting married." "Now I need Jill to be persuaded." "You go up to it and it's so grand." " Yes." " Very impressive." "And the outside is so fantastic." "I'm kind of feeling like that's the wedding." "And it's there." "I feel like I like that spot." "I'm done." "But I really liked it." "You know, I've suffered from anxiety and was diagnosed with that when I was in college, and didn't know that my father had it, but because I don't want to be like him" "I just took that anxiety head on where he didn't." "So I became a very strong, brave person and someone that knows what she wants." "Where are we pricewise?" "Was the initial price what we were talking about they wanted for just a day?" "They wanted more, but they negotiated it down." " They wanted more..." " Yes." "For 24 hours?" "It's about the likelihood..." "If it's triple, you know, our budget for the night, for the week..." "I mean, don't fall in love yet." "You can't." "Well, I mean, if it's triple our budget, then we will serve pizza, right?" "Yeah, I mean, it was gorgeous." "I just..." "I think for me the make or break is gonna be, of course, whether or not we can afford it." "When I was young, I wasn't sure of myself." "I'd always worry about what others think of me." "I have an older brother and my father, and they dominated everything." "So my nature is to just be a little unsure and self-doubting when it comes to making a decision." "Really unlike it a little bit just to be flexible." "Girls, were you in the same place that I was in today?" "Yes!" "Were you?" "You know, we can only move forward at this point trying our best to find the fit." "And it may be the house we saw today, it may not." "Yeah." "Come on, guys." "Come on, bitches." "Let's go, bitches!" "It's been a long day and I need to just really wind down from all the crazy, chaotic stuff that's been going on." "And there's just nothing more interesting to me than being in New York and going to a tranny club." "I love lesbians." "They're so nurturing." "I wish I was a lesbian." "It'd be so much easier." "They just have so much fun." "There's, like, no, like cattiness." "Like, there's like lots of cunt, but no cuntiness." "I mean, you know what I mean?" "Like, I love them." "Like, lesbians are my favorite." "She's not even gonna wait for me?" "We're all kind of bummed out." "I definitely am disappointed." "But tonight, just too much to deal with." "All I can do right now at this point is just have a cocktail." "Whoo!" "* *" "There's so many amazing, great trannies dressed up." "It's gorgeous." "Everywhere I look around." "I love it." "Raquel would die if she was here considering when I first met her" "I thought she was a tranny." "She cornered me against a wall and tried to choke me out, wouldn't let me in the club." "That's pretty much how it went down." "Whoo!" "* *" "It's disgusting." "I probably shouldn't do that." "What did you do?" "Lilo." "Do it again." "That's not what you did." "She licks the back of my throat." "Yes, she does." "She also probably eats poop." "What?" "She's farting." "Yeah, her ass." "Just think about it this way, Tor." "The space from her asshole to her mouth is only this big." "So you know that smell that smells like poop coming out of her mouth, that probably is poop." "I don't want anything from Whitney." "Like, this is the way she is with chicks, and I don't have time for you and your games." "It's like guarantee you, she's probably just gaming me." "I need love." "I'm having a rough day." "What happened?" "Whose heart did you break today?" "Shh!" "Tor, come punch her in the face." "I'd be glad to punch her in the face." "Hey!" "Come and punch this face." "Tor is obviously upset with me, and I honestly, I feel bad." "I'm just feeling disappointed in myself." "Do it then." "Punch me then." "I was totally joking." "I just want her to get it out of her system 'cause I see it in her eyes every time she looks at me." "Hey, you got a cute puppy, though." "I know, right?" "Look at this." "Mwah." "Voulez -vous coucher avec moi?" "Whatever that mean." "Uh, I drank a little bit too much with the trannies." "How many great trannies did you see today?" " A trillion." " A trillion?" "A trillion great trannies tonight." "I saw, like, really amazing trannies." "Best trannies I've ever seen." "Better than the trannies in L.A." "I've got the drunk slur going on." "I'm in so in trouble 'cause I've been drinking tonight." "I'm in trouble!" "Okay, I'm ready for bed." "How about you?" " Yeah, no." " Let's take the shoes off." "I'm a little bit scared about tomorrow." " I'm scared for tomorrow." " Why?" "You need to wake me up at 8:00." "Mikey, I already set the alarm." "Bedtime now." "Good night." "Oh, yeah." "Heading to the agent R.E.D. Showroom." "Where we're having Gallery NYC press event, day two." "And I'm meeting Alison there, and hopefully get some great editors in today." "Mikey's still in the room." "She's gonna be getting ready soon and heading over herself." "Hi, honey." "Good morning." "How are you?" " Good." "You?" " Good, thank you." "Hey." "Good morning." "Hi, how are you?" "Mikey's down for the count." "She's not feeling too good." "And I think she's gonna take it easy." "But I've been rallying since 7:00 a.m. this morning." "I feel good." "I'm a little tired." "But, um, I'm still ready to go." "Okay, over here we have tough love," "L.A. based designer." "Mom opens up a lot more to you than me I have to say." "Okay, well, here's the thing." "She... she wants to know that you're okay." "Whether it be with a man or a woman." "She would prefer that you're with a man, but knowing that you're with a woman, she wants to know a little bit about that person." "But she's not ready to ask me questions?" "No." "At this point, it's like," "I'm gonna be really patient, but patience wears thin, you know?" "Where... no, no, I'm still respectful." "I'm still gonna be..." "don't attack me, I know!" "But I don't necessary want to walk on eggshells anymore." "I don't necessarily want to be like," ""hey, mom, how's the weather?"" "And when she asks me where I'm going, it'll be like, "uh, laundromat." Really?" "She's still taking baby steps." "So I think that her wanting to know a little bit, even if it's coming from me, you know what I mean, is moving in the right direction." "It would be a lot easier if my mom just talked to me, but she doesn't necessarily open up or share her opinions or feelings with me." "My sister tends to take that on for her." "It's almost like a game of telephone." "Think about it." "Amy, you're in a relationship in Blake." "Let's say mom didn't approve of Blake, but you love Blake." "You're head over heels with Blake, right, but, like, mom doesn't approve." "How long would you go worrying about how it affected mom?" "As long I need it 'cause she's 3,000 miles away." "I get it, but I have one life to live, and I'm really happy." "If I wasn't happy, it'd be a different story." "If I was hurting somebody, it would be a different story." "You know what I mean?" "What?" "Well, I mean, hurting." "I'm not hurting mom." "Like, you know... she's very emotional." "It's something that my mom just needs to deal with already." "It's gone on long enough." "I think that I've spent the last five years hoping that my mom could catch up to me, and I think I just need to reach back and pull her up with me." "I need to, yeah, knock some sense into her." "Hello?" "Gary?" " Yes." " It's Nicole." "Hi, Nicole." "How are you?" " How are you?" " Good." "I have a dear old friend of mine that I grew up with in Philadelphia who's almost like family." "And by chance, he reached out to me on Facebook the other day and asked about my wedding plans." "And I said, "oh, my God," "I wish you were here because you could marry us."" "He's now a rabbi in Philadelphia." "Look, I know that it's an expense to have you come all the way here from Philly, but it just would mean so much to us." "I think that would be so special." " It would be." " Anything for you." "Oh, thanks, that's so sweet." "We both grew up Jewish, and especially because it's not legally recognized by the state or the country, you know, if we can get recognized in the Jewish religion, it would be very meaningful." "All right, sweetheart, well, I will call you after shabbot over the weekend." "It's all coming together like puzzle pieces." "For real!" "I mean, within days." "Yeah, like we can have a wedding tomorrow." "Except we don't have a place." "Yes, we do have a place." "Please let me call Camilla and tell her..." "No, not ready." " Please, I'm ready." " No, I'm not that ready." "Ready." "No." "You really are a very quick decision maker." "I already see it." "I see it." "Chk!" "You tend to make decisions very quickly and very gut-based, and I dwell." "I want that house." "I'm not..." "I just would like to look a little bit more." "Look where?" "I fell in love with the Malibu house." "You don't show me that kind of a house on day one, 'cause there just won't be a day two." "In my mind, I'm writing the check for the house right now and signing the contract." "But I just have to respect my lovely fiancÃ©e." "So I think I should pull out my kneepads and start begging." " Baby, please!" " Nik, I love you." "We're just gonna look a little bit more." "I don't need to look anymore!" "Do you want to look by yourself?" "I'm not ready to book the house just yet, but it's number one on my list." "But I just want to look at something else." "I just want to know what other options are." "I feel like it's hasty." "We don't know what else is out there." " It's hasty?" " Yes." "We have to do it now or else it's not gonna be there anymore." "Oh, really?" "Listen, if we don't jump on this for real, it will be gone, or she will reconsider and raise the price, which I am concerned about." " Okay." " I really am." " Now you're being unfair." " Why?" "Because you're just coming up with reasons to pressure me." "I feel like I've hit the point where I don't want to continue to be pushed." "I want to be respected." "I want to be allowed to go about this the way that makes me feel comfortable." "What else are you looking for?" "I don't know..." "Tell me what you're looking for." " Are you in sales?" " Yes, I'm in sales." "Jesus." "Baby, it's the most ridiculous house." "No, not yet." "This is supposed to be fun, and that's what I get back to having that pact." "It was... this is supposed to be a positive thing, and if we're gonna scream and yell like shit, we shouldn't be doing this." "This is supposed to be enjoyable." "Negotiating with you sucks." "I'm done." "You are selling ice in the arctic." "Okay." "It unites three elements." "Thank you." "We have three gold ones, which is a line that..." "This one's fun too." "I'll show you in the black." "Very wonderful." "Yeah, feel how soft this is." "They're an L.A. based brand, and they, you know, do a little rock n roll sort of chic-y situation." "The intimates lingerie collection." " Can I..." " Yeah, please, help yourself." "Where is Mikey?" "From what I hear, she was involved in a debaucherous evening last night." "And she went crawling back to her... her hotel room." "The poor thing." "I'm really disappointed in myself for drinking so much last night and missing the event today." "It's really unprofessional." "My clients are the number one most important thing to me." "Without them, I would have no business." "Good morning." "Or afternoon." "Good day, good day." "Hey." "Where's Alison?" "Oh, you look gorgeous." "We're gonna talk about this." "The fact that I drank too much and acted like a total nimrod, it's very unprofessional." "Right now, I need to jump through some hoops and try to make things happen." "I have so many people counting on me it's ridiculous." "Hey, good morning." "Good afternoon, I should say." "Hey, how are you?" "You missed a good night last night." "Let me see you." "Well, you guys didn't say anything." "I had not idea where we were gonna end up, let me tell you." "I'm really stoked with Shanna." "She did a great job filling in for me." "She definitely rolls with the punches, and I could've never done this without her." "Fucking tired." "Gee, I wonder." "I remember this guy." "He's from New York." "That's right." "You are too." "That's right." "I remember you." "So a bunch of us going to Crocker club to have a good time." "Whoo!" "Now that the drinks are flowing, your typical L.A. "let's go out, get drunk rock and roll."" "It's just such a good time." "There has definitely been some drama recently, but, you know, Tor and I, we're getting along pretty well." "I mean, I can't help but want to put my arm around her." "The next thing I know, I look over and Tor and Scarlett are nowhere to be found." "Alyssa is telling me that there might be some attraction between Scarlett and Tor." "And then they went in together, so I don't know." "After Alyssa tells me she just planted the seed of Scarlett and Tor, at that exact moment," "Tor and Scarlett come walking out of the bathroom." "You look pissed." "It's okay to be upset." "She can do what she wants." "You know, honestly, I'm not in the best mood from the whole Sara whatever thing." "Now Scarlett and Tor." "I'm not really sure what's going on, and I just need a minute to sit with it." "I'm..." "I'm kind of shocked your mom's meeting us." "I'm not surprised at all." "My mom has always wanted to hang out." "Natalie, her sisters and her mom are very close, but Natalie just recently came out to her mom, and, you know, for the first few months of our relationship," "I was her boyfriend Robert." "It's so cold." " I need a glass of wine." " Yeah." "Go head." "Don't be scared." "It's nice to have dinner with my sisters and my mom because my mom's been really sick lately, she's been in and out of the hospital for the last six months, so she's been going through a lot." "Where do you want your mom to sit?" " She can sit across from me." " Yeah." "Natalie and I, you know, had our rocky moments here and there, but we're working on it." "We're working on it." "I love her to death." "She's a great girl." "Contrary to popular belief, I want her in my life." "Hey!" "How are you guys?" "You look pretty." " Hey!" "How are you?" " Good." " Hi, how are you?" " You look pretty." "Thank you." "It's the hair." "See, I didn't even do my hair." " I just..." "I was running late." " You look pretty." "Oh, that's for you." "Here you go." "Thank you." "Aren't those pretty?" "Oh, my God, they're adorable." "My mom really just wants us to be happy and loving who we love, and she's supportive in any and every decisions that we make in life." "One of the tidbits she did get into the conversation was like, "okay, so he's... he's 35."" "And I didn't say anything, but... then the day I went to her office," "I'm like, "I don't have a boyfriend." "I have a girlfriend." "And I live with my girlfriend."" "And she's like..." ""Okay." "Like, okay, well, thank makes me feel better."" "I knew it." "I think you always knew with Leslie." "I did." "When I found out about Leslie, 'cause Leslie was really young." "She was 14." " Really?" " Yeah." "Wow, that was young." "You know who had a really hard time was my mom." "And I..." "I broke down one day and I started crying, and I said to my mom, "you know what?" "If you don't have anything to say about my kid," ""don't talk about my kid."" "You know, people that have a problem with it, and that was including my mom, I thought, you know what?" "Well, too bad." "This is my kid, and I love my kid." "My grandma had a hard time for like a year, then she got over it." "Her and and her grandma are really, really close." "My grandma raised me since I was a little girl." "Oh." "My mom was a young mom." "She was more like, you know..." "Do you hang out with your mom a lot?" "No, we kind of have a little bit of a strained, you know..." "They don't have a great relationship." "She's a young mom, so we're kind of like are more like sisters." "She's a good person, you know, but we just clash." "We're so much alike, so we like... pssh!" "The fact that Natalie is so close to her mom and they have this great relationship, you know I do have a little bit of, you know," ""hey, I wish I had that with my mom."" "You know, that's kind of making me think about things a little differently." "I really want to meet your family." "You should." "We have to have a..." "Take your mom to visit, um, my grandma and my uncle." "Yes, you would love her grandma." "No, you would love..." "you would love my uncle." "We should do this every couple weeks." "Mommy, I love you." "I love you too, mommy." "Cheers!" "Cheers to all us hanging out." "Cheers, yes." "Are you interested in Tor, period?" "No, I'm not." "I'm not." " Tell me..." " I'm fucking telling you." "I have no reason to lie to you." "If she presented something, it's something I'd want to clarify with you." "I can't, like, control anybody, and I would never block anybody from hooking up or whatever if they're not my girlfriend." "So I have zero place." "And I have zero desire." "No, that's not true." " What?" " Were you guys shit talking about me?" "Yeah, big time." " I wouldn't be surprised." " Yeah, right." "I let Scarlett know if she was interested in Tor," "I have no ownership of her." "You know, I'm not a Saint." "I've done things." "It's not like we're in a relationship." "If she wants her and Tor wants Scarlett, you know, more power to them." "What's the situation about?" "What are you talking about?" "I don't know." "Nothing." "Scarlett and you and everything." "Forget it." "Forget I even talked about it." "Wait." "With me and Scarlett?" "No!" "I'm saying, forget about it." "What did we do?" "I don't get it." "Forget I even said anything." "What I'm talking about, but I think she might've been playing dumb a little on that one." "After all this, I deserve to... grr!" " After all what?" " Everything." "Go ahead, choke me." "After everything what?" "Because I've been so bad of a person." "Shh!" "Shh." "I'm a horrible a person." "Which is why I'm getting a job and leaving." "Really?" "All right." "Where you gonna go?" "I have no idea." "I'm not exactly sure who this girl is," "I don't even know the whole story, but that outline of it right now looks just like friggin' wack." "There are two other girls at my house." "Apparently, they're friends with Scarlett." "Definitely had many drinks." "Tori's looking hot." "You want to fuck her." "And then you don't want to get in-between because of the other... other shit." "All righty, I'm analyzing." "You need to be honest with her, you know?" "Tell her what's going on, you know?" "Be honest." "You want her." "She fucking is jealous because the other one is fucking off, but you know what?" "She's fucking awesome, and she's so hot that, like..." "I love this." "Just doesn't even matter 'cause she's so hot, like..." "What?" "The peanut gallery?" "What's going on here?" "Maybe I have to be." "Why?" "Because." "Are you fucking kidding me?" "I mean, I know I'm just coming into it, like, right now, but it's, like, why... why do you have to be done with her right now?" "I mean..." "I want to know." "You want to know." "Stay tuned." "Yeah!" "I wanna see more." "I'm tired." "I lay down on the little chair there in the kitchen while Tor and Scarlett are looking at pictures online, and as far as I can tell, flirting." "Look, just look." "I'm laying there innocently." "All of a sudden, Tor turns around and out of the blue jumps on my lap and straddles me." "Don't be a douche about it." "I'm not being a douche." "How am I being a fucking douche?" "Because you have been." "What is wrong with girls?" "I don't know." "Maybe it's me." "Is it me?" "Like I said, I'm not in a fucking..." "Obviously in a position to be in a fucking relationship." "And, like, obviously I have feelings for you." "I do not want to have things fucked up for the potential of the future because I'm telling you I was not..." "Okay, well, you already... rverything that we... such an asshole." "I want fucking kill you." "You know, the thing about Tor is" "I have feelings for her, but I can't sort them out, because the fact is she put me in my place." "She really did." "And you know what?" "I'm gonna be honest." "Like, people don't put me in place enough." "And it's kind of nice to be put there." "Jump on my back, jump on my back." "No!" "Hold on." "Can we kiss?" "No." "Of course not, no." "Let's go." "Heading back to L.A. thank God." "Very exhausted." "I think we all need to get a little sleep." "I think Shanna did an amazing job wrapping up the whole event actually and coming through like a champ yesterday." "Thanks for closing everything up yesterday, by the way." "It was my pleasure." "How do you feel today?" "I still feel like I need to stay in bed." "Really?" "Yeah, the older you get, let me just tell you..." "You sound much better and look much better." "I thought I was gonna die yesterday, for one." "I think a little part of me inside did." "Or a big part." "What a disaster." "New York was definitely a letdown." "And..." "I didn't even know what to say." "Yeah, apparently sober people don't like it when you drunk the hell out." "Like 15 times." "Really?" "I bet they don't like it when you pretend like you're not drunk." "This is the last time this can happen to me." "It's not like I'm an alcoholic." "It's not like I have a drinking problem." "It's just not the reality of what can happen in my business." "Can't be putting myself in a position where I'm missing work or I'm not 100% because I'm team leader of my business, and if I don't feel good," "I'm bringing the energy level down with my employees." "I really need to be 100%." "Let's go get mimosas." "Wow."