"(THEME SONG PLAYING)" "You know, that is exactly the type of behavior that is gonna get you fired from the work-study program." "Nobody gets fired from the work-study program." "Let's try and have a good time." "They're not paying us to have a good time." "Cory, they're not paying us at all, which is exactly why the CEO of this company is going to get a photocopy of my butt." "They're paying us in experience." "Working in the mailroom?" "You know, a lot of people in this company started in the mailroom." "I began right where you're standing 43 years ago." "(LAUGHS) You see that?" "And where do you work now?" "Right where you're standing." "Move." "Forty-three years with the same company." "Wow." "You must really love advertising." "Advertising?" "Is that what they do here?" "I like this guy." "He reminds me of me, but more mature." "You know, Shawn, if it's a role model you're looking for, there's someone else in this very room that you could look to." "Well, I don't see anyone except you." "Yes, me." "This corporate world is my very essence." "Okay?" "And as I climb the ladder to success," "I want you there right with me." "Next to you?" "Behind me." "That's how ladders work." "So, Shawn, listen and learn." "Is that where you want to be, upstairs with the big fellas?" "Oh, yes, very much." "Bon voyage." "Hey." "How are you?" "Hey." "Good to see you." "Ooh, nice-looking family." "You've lost weight." "Shawn, what are you doing?" "You never make eye contact with senior management." "You have to know your place." "Observe." "Hi." "How you doing?" "Nice loafers." "See?" "(TELEPHONE RINGING)" "Shawn, what are you doing?" "Hey, I may not know much about business, but I do know that when a phone rings, you answer it." "Hello." "Keller-Marsden." "Uh, no, I don't see him." "Can I help you?" "Shawn, hang up the phone." "Hang up." "What are you yelling for?" "Oh, my God, there's yelling." "Yell back." "If you were supposed to have it today and it's not there, don't you think that we have a very good reason?" "Mr. Becker, we weren't going to send those ads out until they were perfect." "Uh-huh." "You'll have them Monday." "No, no." "Thank you, Mr. Becker." "Cor..." "Who are you?" "His name is George Feeny." "Shawn Hunter." "Work-study program." "Who are you?" "Tom Morris." "Vice President," "Keller-Marsden Advertising." "Oh." "You just got a phone call." "I heard." "I like the way you handled Becker." "I did, too." "My temp didn't show up today, and I could use somebody like you." "I work in the mailroom with Cory." "Well, I want you up here with me." "Wow!" "How about that, huh?" "Two hours on the job, and look who's out of the mailroom." "ERIC:" "Mom." "Mom, get a life." "Eric, what are you doing?" "I've watched this show for four years now." "I've never missed an episode." "What do you mean, get a life?" "I just feel that a woman like you should be out doing something productive." "Oh, yeah?" "What do you call raising three children?" "Done." "Hatched." "Raised." "Listen, Mom, I'm gonna give you the same pearls of wisdom you once gave me, okay?" "There's a whole big world out there." "You go be part of it, young man." "Well, there is one thing I've always wanted to try." "Don't care." "Just go do something." "Thank you, Eric." "Okay." "Bye-bye." "Bye-bye." "(SOAP OPERA PLAYING ON TV)" "She doesn't love you, Victor." "Hey." "How you doing?" "(SIGHS) Things are a little crazy, but I'm handling it." "Mr. Morris is still letting you play assistant, huh?" "Yeah." "He even gave me a little assignment." "It's a..." "It's a toothpaste account." "And Mr. Morris wants to know what teenagers are looking for." "Easy." "Bacteria." "I just saved your job, pal." "Actually, I was thinking that fresh breath is sexy..." "No, Shawn, no." "Okay?" "Sex does not sell." "Focus on the bacteria, on the gingivitis, on teeth falling out." "That's the pitch." "I don't know, Cor." "I've kissed a lot of girls, and I gotta say, I'm a breath man." "Shawn, this is the business world, okay?" "I know what I'm talking about." "MORRIS:" "Shawn, toothpaste!" "Let's hear what you got." "Bacteria." "Hey, bud." "Oh, sorry, buddy." "This seat's saved for (INHALES) Monica." "What happened to (INHALES) Bridget?" "She found out about (INHALES) Monica." "(SIGHS)" "Oh, excuse me." "Is this seat taken?" "Yes, Mom." "Mom?" "Eric?" "What are you doing here?" "Am I in trouble?" "I'm in creative writing." "But this is creative writing." "Oh, I had no idea this was your class." "(LAUGHS WEAKLY)" "But, well, you said to get out there in the world, so here I am, back in school." "Hey, maybe we could all have lunch together." "Your mom is, like, so cool." "No, she's not." "Look, Mom, when I said get back in the world, I meant, like, the mall." "Eric, I'm in creative writing because I always wanted to write." "And your words really inspired me." "I was hoping you'd be happy for me." "Happy." "I am." "I'm happy." "Yeah." "Who wouldn't be happy going to school with their mom?" "Look, at least scoot down one, okay?" "The seat's saved for (INHALES) Monica." "Gotcha." "You won't even know I'm here." "Yeah." "Hi." "Oh, you must be Monica." "Eric, she's really pretty." "Hi." "Who are you?" "I'm Eric's mother." "Sit up straight, dear." "So then the senator told me that he really liked what I said, and now it's going to be a law." "I know what you mean." "Why, here in the mailroom," "I suggested that we start using self-adhesive stamps." "Well, what'd they say?" ""Yeah, whatever."" "Cory, you'll work your way out of the mailroom." "Don't bet on it." "Who's that?" "My boss." "Where's Shawn?" "You know, he's upstairs." "Look, Cory, I hope you're looking out for him." "He really looks up to you." "Isn't she cute?" "Like a young Nancy Sinatra." "Hey." "Shawn, you're back in the mailroom." "Listen, they shouldn't have put you in a job you weren't ready for." "Actually, I pitched my sexy breath idea, and Mr. Morris liked it." "He liked it?" "Yeah." "I guess you're not the only one with good ideas." "You know, I don't get it, Phil." "All he did was pick up a phone." "Was it ringing?" "Yeah." "He's a smart kid." ""And as I turned the corner" ""and walked down that road, it occurred to me," ""either I was going the wrong way, or that semi truck was," ""but that's life." ""And it's all we have."" "Thank you." "Thank you, Eric." "Next, we will hear from Amy." "Oh." "(CLEARS THROAT)" "(EXHALES)" "Um, "A Young Married Woman, by Amy Matthews."" "(SNICKERS) Oh, this is great." "A thousand words on dryer lint." ""The wedding was over." ""I was 19 and about to embark on a new life." ""The hotel suite was as lovely as a picture." ""Alan walked toward me, and I began to tremble."" "Oh, my God." ""My lips..."" "(RINGING)" "Uh, hello." "Tom Morris' office." "Can I help you?" "No, he's still in the..." "The bathroom." "Uh, well, sir, we were gonna send it to your office today, but it wasn't good." "Hello?" "No, please don't yell." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Hello?" "Who was that?" "Uh..." "That was Mr. Davis from Brock Toys." "Well, what did he want?" "Well, he said something about moving his account to another agency." "Hey, why don't I do a lunch run, huh?" "Falafel?" "Shawn, want to get Davis back on the phone?" "Uh, Mr. Morris..." "Look, nothing personal, but maybe this isn't the right place for you." "You better pack your things." "I have Mr. Davis on line two." "Sir..." "What am I supposed to do?" "Well, not everybody's cut out for the business world." "(DOOR OPENING)" "Cory, I'm..." "I'm sorry." "(MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)" "Oh, Susan Lucci, how do you not win an Emmy?" "(CHUCKLES) Well, somebody looks like he just got canned from work-study." "I did." "You're kidding." "No." "(SIGHS) Oh, boy." "(EXHALES)" "Well, you know, not every person is right for every job." "(CHUCKLES) Dad, I know, but I was supposed to be the one to succeed, not Shawn." "Everyone knows that." "Well, maybe you ought to give Shawn a little more credit." "I mean, if he's doing well, you should be happy for him." "No, I am happy for him, but what about me?" "You know, if I don't succeed in the business world, the future of this country looks very bleak." "Stop putting so much pressure on yourself." "You know you'll do fine." "What are you doing here?" "I was just having lunch with Mr. Davis from Brock Toys." "What exactly did you say to him?" "I don't want to talk about it, okay?" "If you'll excuse me, I was about to take a nap." "Why, I just came by with some news that may cheer you up." "I'm listening." "Well, I talked to Morris, and he agreed to let you come back to the agency." "Really?" "Yeah, but you're gonna have to take a drug test." "They think you're a little "wound."" "They want me back." "This has got to be a mistake." "Don't tell me you're not qualified for this job either." "I'm supposed to be an executive, Phil, making important executive decisions." "You will." "Now, here are the deodorizers for the toilet." "You decide how many to put in each one." "I'll give you a hint." "It's less than two." "No, no, I..." "I won't do it." "Okay, listen, the work-study program is supposed to prepare you for life." "Where's the lesson in this?" "The lesson is that you do whatever they ask you to do, and you do it as well as you can." "Oh, come on, you're a good kid." "Oh, don't take home the toilet paper." "They check cars." "Cory, what are you doing dressed as a janitor?" "I don't know, Shawn." "You tell me." "Well, I thought they gave you your old job back in the mailroom." "No." "This is my job." "You're kidding." "No." "So that's the toothpaste campaign, huh?" "Yeah." "Looks like I was wrong." "Sex does sell." "Just a different way to go." "Hey, Shawn, I spilled my coffee." "You want to get the guy to clean up that mess?" "I'm the guy." "Hey, bud." "Hi, kids." "Hi, Amy." "Amy?" "Her name is not Amy." "Her name is Mrs. Matthews." "So, what are you guys doing?" "I had a little trouble with my writing assignment, so Amy offered to help." "By the way, that last paper you wrote," "I couldn't stop thinking about it." "That's because it was smut!" ""My lips quivered." It was filth!" "It was squeamy filth!" "Eric, the teacher gave Amy an "A."" "He's dirty, too." "Well, I think he's really going to like my next paper." "Let me see this." "Let me see this." ""An evening in Cape Cod." Now this is more like it." ""As Alan touched me, my lips began to quiver."" "Don't you do anything but quiver?" "Oh, my God, you do." "Give me that." "Mom, college is my time." "You shouldn't be here." "You should be at home raising your kids." "They're not done yet." "I've been a mother and a wife for most of my life, and I've loved it." "But I need to be more." "And if you're uncomfortable with that, then you're right, I shouldn't be here." "Mmm." "Mmm!" "Mmm?" "Oh." "Oh!" "(CHUCKLING)" "Oh, well, okay." "Whoo!" "Well, what do you think?" "Amy, it's some of the most provocative fiction I have ever read." "It's all true, George." "Oh, dear." "Well, nevertheless, you have a lot of talent." "I mean, as a storyteller." "Well, it doesn't really matter, 'cause I'm dropping the class." "Eric shouldn't have to be embarrassed by having his mother with him." "You can't do that, Amy." "Why are you calling me Amy?" "Because that's your human name." "I reread your paper, and I realized that you're more than just a mother and a housewife." "You're also a really good storyteller, and you should..." "You should come back to class." "Really?" "Yeah." "And if that's what you want to do, you should come back, and you should really keep writing." "That means so much coming from you." "Mom, your paper was so good, and I was so proud of you, that I sent a copy to Grandma." "Mother?" "Oh, dear." "Cory, look," "I know it's awkward for you to be doing so much better than Shawn, but this dinner has been planned for a long time, okay?" "We just won't talk about work." "Okay." "Hey, you guys." "These are for you." "Let's put them in water." "Hey." "Cory." "Hi." "I'm..." "I'm glad you came." "Why wouldn't I come?" "I was invited for dinner, so I'm here for dinner." "Where's my dinner?" "Cory's right." "Why don't we eat?" "(TELEPHONE RINGING)" "Aren't you going to get that?" "No, it's..." "It's just the fax." "They gave you a fax." "Why didn't they give you a fax, Cory?" "Well, at my level, they don't fax you." "You just know." "(CELL PHONE RINGING)" "What's that ringing?" "Nothing." "A cell phone?" "The..." "The company gave it to him." "Good for you, Shawn." "Yeah." "They also gave him a credit card." "Oh, a credit card, too." "Cory, the company gave Shawn a cell phone and a credit card." "What did they give you?" "They gave me these." "Cory, they look like janitor's keys." "Yeah, they are." "I'm a janitor, okay?" "It's all out in the open now." "I hope you're happy." "Thanks." "Cory, there's nothing wrong with being a janitor." "Cory." "Cory, look, I didn't want any of this to happen, but it did, okay?" "I really want to enjoy it." "Shawn, no one's stopping you." "I can't enjoy this because of what it's doing to you." "Because it's killing me!" "Okay?" "All of my life, you're the one that messes up," "I'm the one that cleans up after you." "That's the way it's always been." "I know." "For the first time, I'm doing something on my own." "And it feels good." "It feels really good." "Well, I mean, it's supposed to feel good." "You did great." "I guess for the first time," "I'm just jealous of you." "Of me?" "Cory, stop putting so much pressure on yourself." "Everyone knows you're going to be fine." "I'm sorry I underestimated you." "I'm real proud of you." "Yeah, well, I'm proud of you, too." "For what?" "Well, you know the executive washroom on the 30th floor?" "I heard Keller say to Marsden that it's never been cleaner." "(LAUGHS)" "That was me." "So, Eric, are you okay with having your mom stay in the class?" "Sure." "We had a little discussion, and she promised no more revealing stories about her and Dad." "I'm going to miss those." "Especially the one in the elevator." "(INTERRUPTING)" "Amy, would you like to read us your latest short story?" "I'd be glad to." "All right, Mom!" "(SIGHS) "A Mother's Struggle, by Amy Matthews." ""After 36 hours of screaming and sweating," ""my bundle of joy, Eric," ""gallantly made his way through the birth canal."" "(ALL GROANING)" "Hey, hey, hey, hey!"