"I'm going to work in Woolworth's" "When I grow up I want to be an astronaut" "When I get married I'd like to have two children" "My hearts desire is to see my Daddy" "I don't want to answer that" "This is no ordinary outing at the zoo it's a very special occasion we've brought these children together for the very first time" "they're like any other children except that they come from startlingly different backgrounds" "Stop it at once!" "We brought these children together because we wanted a glimpse of England in the year 2000 the shop steward and the executive of the year 2000 are now seven years old" "In 1964 World in Action made Seven Up we have been back to film these children every seven years" "they are now forty-nine" "Is it important to fight?" "Yes!" "Tony was brought up in the East end of London" "I want to be a jockey when I grow up yeah" "At fourteen he was already an apprentice at Tommy Gosling's racing stable in Epsom at fifteen he left school" "This is a photo finish of when I rode at Newberry" "I'm the one with the white cap" "I was beaten a length and a half for third and had a photo finish" "Do you regret not making it?" "I'd have given my right arm at the time arm to be a jockey but now?" "... well I wasn't good enough" "What will you do if you don't make it as a jockey?" "I don't know" "If I knew I couldn't be one I'd get out of the game wouldn't bother and what do you think you would do then?" "Learn taxi's" "At twenty-one, he was on "The Knowledge"" "and by twenty-eight he owned his own taxi" "It's surprising who you pick up" "I once met Kojak I picked him up and Warren Mitchell, Alf Garnett, y'know" " Have you got a girl friend?" " No." "Would you like to have a girl friend?" "No" "Do you understand the four F's?" "find them, feed them and forget them the other F, I'll let you use your own discrimination but I mean, this one" "I tried to do the three F's but I couldn't forget her" "I went to a discotheque he was in the pub earlier on and afterwards we went to a disco and Tony was standing there and I just... from there that was it" "couldn't get rid of him!" "We have our ups and downs, no more than anyone else" "I think you've got to work at a marriage" "I think all marriages go through stages you can't stand each other" "I think "Oh god I hate him I wish he'd get out"" "I do" "We've been to the edge of the cliff and looked over a couple of times and we've always seemed to go back and we've stayed the course but I must say it's not easy being married" "By forty-two Tony and Debbie had left the Eastend and moved to Woodford in Essex" "We were going to put a conservatory here if you look along here we've put a patio in and a pond for the fish but the only thing I ever done was" "I planted them three trees well since you were last here we had small trees if you remember?" "now they've sort of grown a bit" "So why are the trees singed?" "We were burning some rubbish at the back and it set light to the tree and there we were throwing buckets of water over it sadly enough it's singed the tree" "At forty-nine, they'd taken out a second mortgage on the London house and sunk the money into a holiday home in Spain" "I'm very pleased with the house the progress we've made in the little time we've worked here and to get it all ship-shape, I think it's done to the testament of my wife Debbie" "As per usual!" "Debbie went to the furniture shop and picked all the furniture all what you see is Debbie's choice of furniture and her style the floor, we were lead to believe we had a choice of tiling whether it's a light beige or light brown" "That's the first I've heard that we had a choice, 'cause I would've had plain" "I've just gone into the neighbours house and they've got all plain tiles and I asked him and he said it was a choice that we had when we bought it" " So that was where the mistake was made" " Because you don't listen" " Say that again" " You don't listen" " I Can't hear you" "Tony and Debbie still work as London cabbies" "We sold our cabs as we're going to spend more time out here so it's not really conducive to own the cab is it?" " No because the cab will be left out on the drive, it's pointless and we just hire a cab independently now" "I'm working harder now than what I ever have done, but" "I feel that it's for something" "Tell me son, what do you want to be a cab driver for?" "all the holidays in Spain every year but it's hard work out there" " You're not reaching me yet" " I'm not getting to you?" " Be bigger, dominate me!" " Son!" "At twenty-eight Tony was taking acting lessons now he supplements his income with occasional TV jobs" "Oi!" "That's all I've got on me" "If I had a pound for every time I've heard that I'd be a rich man" "Get him!" "A guy contacted me from my acting agency and I got in touch with him and he writes plays and he's been inspired by your Up programs which go all around the world and he saw it and we got together and wrote a biographical play about my life story" "we took one of these episodes over to New York and did a play reading and I got up and played the lead role and it went extremely well and we're looking for someone to pick it up and put it on stage" "Would everybody please sit round now, get on with their work" "I don't want to see any backs to me shouldn't be anybody turning round, Tony do you hear as well?" "get on with your work in front" "Tony!" "don't turn round again there's only one ambition really, I want a baby son and if I see my baby son that'll be my ambition fulfilled no one knows that, only you now!" "Debbie and Tony have three children" "Nicky" "Jodie and Perry" "Nicky's doing quite well, he's still a French Polisher it's an old time profession, as you know and he's working for a firm and he's very happy in his work isn't he" "He's been brought up to be very respectful to people a very well mannered person, he's a hard worker" "Jodie at this present time just relies on us a very great deal and... she's been very scarred with a relationship that she was in her relationship with her first love was very turbulent but he's the father of her kid" "I'm going to make sure she gets through it and it's been quite a strain on Debbie and I to see her in that situation" "I'm very proud of Perry as well she got in the Post Office and that's what she's doing" ""Postman-Pel" that's our Postman Perry she loves it, she works hard she's up at four in the morning" "She's got a lovely boyfriend, he loves her more than you can imagine and he's certainly got my blessing big lad, very nice guy, loves his football, typical Eastend kid" "we are the backbone for the kids aren't we" "Yeah but I think you're parents are anyway, you're parents are... you never visualise anything ever happening to your parents you think they're there for ever" "Tony's five" "Harry's four, nearly five and little Boo, she's nearly two" " Three!" " She's three!" "I'm a hands on grandad" "I love my grand children more than you can imagine" "I'd not say my own kids but in a different way it's an obsession of love, y'know" "You see these grand children and they're part of you" "No grandad I'm doing that" " They're hard work at times" " We don't mind though" "Once you slow down and you don't realise you're slowing down all I understand is, dogs, prices, girls knowledge, roads, streets, squares and mum and dad and love that's all I understand and that's all I want to understand" "By the time he was thirty-five, both Tony's parents had died" "I'm at the grave side I'm talking to her" "I've got all the images running through my mind saying like "Tony go downstairs and get me five cigarettes"" "and I used to go in the shop she used to throw the cotton in a hair curler out the window and I used to tie the cigarettes onto the cotton and she used to pull them up and she goes..." "I see her in the end" ""Thanks Tony, see you after school, be good" and that's the way it was" "We knew my dad was terminally ill although it still didn't make it any easier for us" "when my dad died I took it really hard" "I can't..." "Nellie Rose is my mum as her name was Nel and her mothers name is Rose so my Jodie and all the family were conjuring up names to name it" "Jodie, out of thin air said Nellie Rose, the name of our mums" "Sometimes on Saturday morning I go to the cinema sometimes with my friends, sometimes with him" " You don't" " I do" "She don't and why did you fall in love with him?" "I don't know" "I don't know how you put up with me for so long sometimes I don't know how I stand him" "Who's to say in another ten years me and him might've split up" "Quite possible" "You don't know" "When we filmed Debbie and Tony at forty-two the marriage seemed to be in trouble" "I'm not proud at all to say this but situations arise that..." "I have had regretful behaviour various times but" "You got caught and that was it" "I'm not lying about the fact you could always cover it up and suggest other things but it's true and let it be true" "You caught him?" " Yeah" " What happened?" "well it was touch and go whether we carried on from it or not" "I did wish things that were said then were never said" "Perry wouldn't go to school for three weeks she wouldn't go out the door she was quite upset about it all and I think it was a big shock because you are their mum and dad" "We got on from there, it's seven years down the line and we're happy as can be now" "Cameron told me to get my nickers here she says they're better than Marks and Spencers" "Lets hope they're easier to get off there's ninety-six percent English here who all bought their houses in Spain and this is where they shop every Saturday it's just like an old London market from years ago" "what I like is it's so relaxing down here you walk along and things are happening, the musics playing there's an English pub there you can just go in and it's really home from home but with the weather" "from here it's about two-hundred yards along it's going to be all commercial units here my intention would be to turn one into a sports bar we will put TV's around in a sports way and football shirts and memorabilia" "this is tomorrow for me, this is my future here so I'm hoping to get a business and if I was to bring Nicky, Jodie or Perry out here then I'll have the best of both worlds, I'll have my family here" "plus, the kids can be schooled here well they can get what they want can't they?" "if you've got to work for it and they can just ask for money and get it and they can buy what they want" "I feel that the economy will bust within five years because people like myself have been giving and giving all the time the hard working family type people who have contributed everything we have to work, we have to maintain a mortgage, we have to bring up the families" "and I feel that I've had enough of working all these hours congestion charges are forty pounds a week now zero tolerance with the police for parking tickets we're paying and someones getting it at our expense" "Does it make you sad that you're going to have to leave your roots, your country" "I can't even go to the Eastend now to have a drink the pubs are literally closing down other cultures are buying all my old traditions up everyone likes their own culture and I'm no different from anybody else" "but in England, if you suggest this you are targeted as... an oddball or "oh you mustn't say that"" " Safety by numbers eh" " Definitely on the contrary I would say I'm sorry if you don't like it, it's not to be offensive it's just to let you know that my way of being brought up was with all my own people" "and I like being with my own people and I'm a traditionalist" "How much do you want to play for?" "five pounds?" " Ten pesetas" " What's the dream now?" " It's to be happy, which I am" "I'm happy now being healthy with all my family we all want happy and health for our family and anything else is a bonus and that's all I really want and that's all I'm really after, I don't want no more or less than that" " Unlucky Tony" " Unlucky" "Some people from Africa come here but when they go they put their clothes on" "Jackie, Lynn and Sue all grew up in the Eastend of London and were friends in the same junior school with this school we do metal work and wood work and the boys do cookery" "We had a teacher at school his favourite saying was..." ""All you girls want to do is walk out, get married, have babies and push a pram down the street with a cigarette hanging out of your mouth"" "I think that we all could've gone and not any way that we wanted to at the time within our capabilities we chose our own jobs we only had a limited choice anyway, truth be told we didn't have a choice of private school as we couldn't have afforded it anyway" "The change is too much, our lives are changing far too much!" "all of us when you look at the seven year old "us" it's difficult to believe it is us it's like it's someone else you're looking at, this cute thing!" " I can't remember being cute" " I wasn't cute!" "I would like to get married when I grow up" "I don't know what sort of boy but I think one... thats not got lot of money but... has got some money, not a lot" "Have you got any boy friends?" "oh!" "that's personal isn't it!" "By the time she was twenty-one, Jackie had married Mick and moved to the outskirts of London" "It was horrific really, the cake what happened to the wedding cake it was sitting right in between Mick and myself suddenly the columns just completely gave way and it just all fell into one" "I would say on average nineteen is probably too young" "By thirty-five, she was divorced" "We decided ourselves, just between the two of us we knew it wasn't going any further we both knew we would be happier leading our own lives" "She and Mick had decided early on that they didn't want children" "Basically I would say because I'm far to selfish" "I enjoy doing what I want, when I want and how I want and certainly at the moment I can't see any way around that" "and this one off, here we go had a brief but very sweet relationship, result of which was Charlie give us a cuddle" "I don't really want Charlie to be an only child" "I'd love him to have brothers and sisters but not necessarily loads of them!" "just one would do actually!" " right Charlie, there's yours - right" " and please eat it all up" " I will" " and James - thanks mum - good boy and last but not least" "are you going to eat that one for me?" "After her relationship with Charlie's father ended she met Ian and they moved to Scotland and had two more sons" " James" " Alright" "By forty-two they had split up" "Go on Lee, go and get him" "Despite the split the family all live in the same area of Scotland" "There's your dad!" "Lee and Charlie's birthday's are only a month apart so we tend to do something in between to celebrate both their birthday's so we usually go somewhere like an amusement park" "Lee's got a lot of nerve hasn't he?" "and a little bit of bravado as his older brothers had said no" "I think he decided "I'm going to do this one"" "Has Charlie shown any interest as to his father?" "No" "Ian's his father as far as he's concerned he knows and the whole family know that biologically he's not but in every respect Ian is his father always has been he's done everything with him, been everything to him, taught him everything" "What would you do if you had lots of money?" "about two pounds" "I would buy myself a nice new made house one that's all nice and comfy" "Ooh, I quite like that" "Jackie suffers from Rheumatoid Arthritis and lives off disability benefit" "How is money for you?" "Could do with more as just about everybody would say but we manage, we cut our costs accordingly" "You've got "X" amount and that's what you do" "Has Liz got anything to do with that?" "Liz has always got something to do with that" "Ian's her son but she also says I'm here and she has three grandchildren here that she loves dearly and that she will be there for us" "James has just had a trip to Alton Towers with the school and she'll say "you pay for the trip and I'll give him the spending money"" "which is brilliant as it makes life easier for me" "You've moved in the last seven years, tell me about that because of the arthritis that I've got I had to come to the ground floor" "and this area is an area that I like it's close to Liz so from that point of view it suits the school's across the road for the boys good neighbours, which makes a difference wherever you live" "it's how the Eastend used to be about thirty years ago the doors would be open and the neighbours looked out for each other if one neighbour had a problem others would help out and that's how it is here" "that's what this place is like, a village we deal with the problems with the boys when they arise you've always got the problem of drink, drugs, smoking and not smoking and that sort of thing" "Charlie's at an age now where I can't mother him but I can't be his friend either he wants to work, leave school and get a car mechanics apprenticeship but the chances of him doing that are probably very slim" "Yeah well someone kept stealing my chips again!" "Lee, take your time, you'll make yourself ill - ok" "James tends to be a bit of a computer freak he wants to... produce and make his own games" "Lee tends to be the outspoken one and is a bit like I was at his age" " In fact he's very much like I was" " Is that a worry?" "I think that's... that's terrible!" "how dare you say that to me!" "why would that be a worry?" "do you think I've turned out badly?" "No, sometimes you see things you don't like in yourself then you see them in your child and you think..." "I never said he'd picked up all of my traits" "I think he's picked up my best traits" "If you're not going to play nice... right go to bed then" " No!" "he has a temper which isn't as bad as when he was younger but it is something he knows about and he tries very hard to control" "Does your temper get you into trouble?" "You're probably the best one to answer that, does it?" "you and I have had arguments on occasions" "Did you meet enough men before you decided who to marry?" "What do you mean by settled down?" "If you think that getting married as far as we're concerned is a case of go to work, come home, cook tea for husband, go to bed, get up, go to work you're totally mistaken" "I like it when you shout at me!" " I'm not sure you do really" " I mean, I don't know" "What happened at twenty-one?" "you asked me if I'd had enough experience with men before I married and I thought that was an insulting question and I got very angry and we stopped filming because of it and if you look at the tapes of me at twenty-one, I'm sitting and... to all intents and purposes I might as well not have been there" "but I was really angry that you even thought you could get... you wouldn't have asked some of the other people that question you will edit this program as you see fit" "I've got no control over that you definitely come across as, this is your idea of what you want to do and how you see us and that's how you portray us this one may be the first one that's about us and not your perception of us" "So how up to now have I got you wrong?" "How have you got me wrong?" "The last one was very much based on... the sympathy and the illness that I've got and what I may or may not be able to do it should've been about... what I can do, what I am doing, what I will do" "don't make that mistake Mike" "I am no way..." "I am down and I'm depressed about my illness but I'm certainly not down and depressed about my life and a lot of times I sit and cringe when I watch those programs not just for me but for other people" "you can ask me about Ian and you know full well I'm going to say to you.." ""It's none of your business, I'm not talking about it"" "there are other people on this program that don't do that that quite of their own free will will talk about their marriages, divorces or the state of their lives" "I don't think you should be into that, I don't think you should be asking that" "It's part of peoples lives and this program is about peoples lives" "No, yeah but that's... to me that's a part of my life that will never go on this program you know I've married, my ex-husband never took part in this" " My partner now will never take part of this" " But that's not my fault" "No, but that's because that's the way I want it but it still doesn't stop you trying to get that information from me" "So what would you like to talk about?" "if you want me to represent you, we've talked a bit about the children" "What I want to do what I hope to do" "I just don't want that personal conversation" "OK lets talk about what you'd hope to do and hope for the boys" "What I'd hope to do?" "I'd actually..." "I'd like to go back to school so that I can hold a conversation with anyone in the world and know what I'm talking about so that I'm not stuck" ""well I know a little bit about that but I don't really know enough"" "I'd love to know... actually I'd really love to start my education all over again" "My mum, 'cause she's got five girls she had seven years bad luck that's why she's got five girls" "I'd like to be able to have a happy family" "I know that's not possible to be happy all the time but as much of the time that was possible" "I don't know what Suzi's had, what's Suzi had that I haven't had?" "Are you different from what I should've expected at seven, fourteen and twenty-one?" "Maybe not enough but I've got it" "I think I'm more intelligent than you thought I would be" "I have reached a level... in my life that I'm happy with and I enjoy being me but I don't think you ever expected me to turn out the way I have" " How was that Lee?" " It was great!" "Yeah, Lee's always trying to better you!" "If we did all love Jeffrey and we all wanted to marry him" "I think I know the one that he'd like best and that's her" "I don't think I'd get married too early" "I'd like to have a full life first and meet people" " I'd like to enjoy myself before I..." " Yeah, before you commit yourself" "Marriage means a different thing to me" "I've still got my ideals about marriage I don't know what it's all about" "Sue was twenty-four when she married Billy they had two children, William and Katherine" "I think that to get married young there must be things that you miss you must miss that crucial stage of being yourself because the minute you get married you're no longer a single being you're a partnership and that should be the idea behind it" "By the time she was thirty-five she and Billy had divorced" "I've never sat down and thought... well, what was it?" "was it this?" "was it that?" "I just knew it wasn't working there has been relationships when I could've settled but they didn't feel quite right, so..." "I've always come away and pulled away and just waited until the right one came along if they ever do!" "#Don't you remember you told me you loved me baby#" "At forty-two when we filmed Sue in the karaoke bar she brought Glen along to watch her sing" "We'd just met and things were going well but now obviously things are going very well" " Is this love?" " Oh I think so yeah" "We've know each other for a long time before the seven years and we've always always liked each other" " He's good looking" " He's very good looking, he's not bad is he" "Everyone says he looks like Paul Weller whether that's true or not?" "especially now he's growing his hair" "Susan most of all likes Lesley" " What?" " Don't you think?" " She keeps changing her mind though" " Yeah I don't know which one really every thing's not that cut and dried it's not either career or family or... but is what's in the middle, am I just going to carry on as I am now?" "for?" "and end up..." "on the shelf?" "or am I just going to get married?" "could be any day" "I've been married and I've not got that urgency, Glen... we say "maybe we will" we're engaged, committed and bought a house together and to me that's a big committment every house needs money spending on it when you move in" "to have a wedding you have to put some cash into it when I got married the primary reason was because I wanted a child the two to me went together" "Have you and Glen thought of having your own child?" "well Glen got with me when... we got together when I was in my forties and you don't have a baby when you've just started a relationship" "I didn't want to do all that again, I would've loved to have a baby 'cause he would make a wonderful parent but the timing was off" " So she's your baby?" " She's my new baby yeah my kids are my babies but she's my new baby she's our baby!" "mine and Glens!" "she's a wonderful terrier, she's got such character" " What does she do?" " Well she watches TV with us she's got her own favourite programs and she adores Rolf Harris, absolutely adores Animal Hospital and if she's at the top of the house and the music comes on she runs down the stairs and sits in front of the TV for Rolf Harris" " The house looks nice, are you pleased with it?" " I am very pleased with it it's a lovely step for us, we feel like we've got more space around us and... we've got to do everything inside but we can build on it and that's what we want" "we've been promising to have a house warming party since we moved in we've been here four months now so I thought it was about time people are just starting to arrive now" "So you left the Eastend, why?" "Well I've always wanted to move out but you don't do that or the opportunity isn't there when you're on your own... with two kids, I wish I'd done it before but it's timing, now is the right time obviously" "and the Eastend has changed, it's changed a lot mum comes down to me, it's so easy they can just jump on a train and the station is within walking distance so it's worked out wonderfully" "some people are just born into rich families and they're lucky" "I don't see why they should have the luck when people have worked all their lives and haven't got as much as they have, it doesn't seem fair" "So have you moved up a class now?" "Well it's difficult to say, "upper" or "up a" class" "I suppose it feels like that to me now I've got the sense of pride, my own house and I feel like I'm building for the future" "I've been a single parent for a long while and I've brought them up on my own because Katherine was only two when Bill left it's been extremely hard and sometimes very lonely" "I only had to have one filling, that was all I had done" "William's a computer addict, he works in the industry he also constantly has a computer on indoors yeah smiley faces and windows... he could've gone to university and he knows that and I know that" "I do regret that for him but I've been there, I can remember I didn't want to do that either" "and Katherine's temping as she wants to do a bit of travelling next year people say she's me reincarnated, she looks a bit like me and her mannerisms are exactly like me and she likes to enjoy herself" "to go into a relationship with someone with two teenagers it must've been very difficult for him and they do clash occasionally" "I hate it because I'm an easy going person and I don't like strife they're doing things the way I brought them up which isn't the way that Glen would like things to be done, so... you've got to learn to live together in the same house" "it'll always be a learning curve!" "I'm a peace maker!" "When the children were old enough to go to school" "Sue went back to work and had a series of office jobs she now helps run the MA courses in the university of London" "I still work for the college but we moved to central London now I'm the main administrator for the program... instead of an assistant and I've got a couple of people who help me with that" "Hayley, could you fax that to Mary for me please?" " So you like the resposibility?" " Yeah I love the resposibility" "I think I was born for the responsibility, yeah I love it" " Well I've never been abroad" " No, nor have I" " I have" " Oh yeah 'cause you went on that cruise didn't you" " Yeah once a year we go to Cornwall or Devon we try to find a different spot every year and we bring the dog it's just such a lovely place every time you turn a corner there's a different sight" "you never know what you're going to find, everythings so beautiful we both had childhood holidays here and good memories and we decided to come back and we've been coming ever since it's nice for us just to be a couple for a week" "when we retire or maybe before if we get lucky this is the sort of place we'd like to come to that one there right in the middle nearest the beach, that would be ideal absolute perfect, the perfect place" "oh that was a good one!" "*speaks Latin*" "Yes speak up, fill up the gaps on the board" "When he was seven, Bruce was at a pre-preparatory boarding school at fourteen, St. Paul's school in London" "They don't enforce being upper class and things like that at St. Paul's they suggest that you don't have long hair and do get it cut and they teach you to be reasonably well mannered but not to sniff on the poorer people" "At twenty-one he was in his last year at Oxford reading maths" "You can show that this is irreducible then you do a transformation on this point and X = T + two" "Good that's a nice way of doing it particularly using Eisentstien down here, his test is very powerful" "At twenty-eight Bruce was teaching maths in East London" "Well going to Africa and try and teach people who are not civilised to be more or less good" "At thirty-five, he was teaching in Sylhet in Northrn Bangladesh then I've also got the chance to learn a bit of Bangla which is very difficult, I'm not doing very well at" "*Speaks Bangla*" "By forty-two Bruce is back in the Eastend running the maths department at a girls school" "at forty-nine he's teaching at St Alban's a large boys independent school which has girls in the sixth form" "I sing in the choir twice a week on Monday's and Friday's we go to the Abbey because in the early days the school was in the Abbey going back to 948" " 948?" " Yes, so... the head likes to say "we're in our third millenium"" " So the school's over a thousand years old?" " Yes, in one form or another" " What's the first thing we do?" " I multiply by three" "You don't multiply by three, you divide by three" "Tell me what's exciting about teaching here?" "There is a higher academic level to teach then you can see pupils at a more developed level that flash of recognition and engendering their love of the subject that I had at their age there is a class society and I think private schools may help it's continuance" "Has this been a compromise of political principles for you?" "I would say, have a million angels infront of every teacher who is prepared to slog away at an inner city school make way, this is somebody who is prepared to turn up each day for this job" "Where's the graph?" "Sixty right that motto "water weareth away a stone by dripping on it, not by smashing it"" "was a motto for teaching in that you kept on teaching them and that eventually it would get through and pupils would change and learn and so on but in the end the reverse happened that water dripping on me, wore me away" "I just thought" "I don't think I can do this until I'm sixty and so I have to do something else" "Do your old friends give you a hard time for what you've done?" "They certainly do, they say..." ""have you joined the Tory party, the golf club, the Masons?"" ""you're driving a much better car than you used to" and so on well my girlfriend is in Africa and I don't think I'll have another chance of seeing her again" " Have you got any girlfriends?" " No, not yet" "I'm sure it will come but not yet" "I do think a lot of people think too much about it" "I think I would very much like to... become involved in a family, my own family for a start that's a need that I feel I ought to fulfil and would like to fulfil and would do it well" "yes I haven't got married or whatever and I suppose that would've been something which I'd hoped had happened" "Well you're getting on a bit, are you getting worried?" "Well not really, I'm always optimistic who knows who I might meet tomorrow and in the middle of a conversation about something completely different he just asked if I'd like to marry him and if I hadn't been listening carefully I would have missed it completely" " To love and to cherish" " To love and to cherish" " Till death us do part" " Till death us do part" " Is this a beetroot or something?" " I think it's just a weed" "Do you enjoy gardening?" "Well under Penny's directions I do whatever she asks" "I don't know what to do here or what order to do things in she and her mother are quite good at this" "So you're the labourer?" "Yes, I'm the unpaid labourer, the serf the Feudal Vassel or whatever, Penny will give you the correct medieval term" "We don't argue very much" "Not really, we haven't really had a full blown row" "Our arguments tend to be two sentences and I go off and sulk for 24 hours" " How are you doing dear?" " Fine thank you one positive influence on him, I've stopping him apologising when I first knew him he kept saying "sorry, sorry"" "and apologised for things that didn't need apologising for maybe it's just 'cause we weren't married then" " You see I was winning you over then" " Yes that's right!" " Were you the world's greatest cook?" " Well only pasta" "If you have emotional issues will you talk about them?" "Well I have the usual male reticence about that kind of thing" "If Penny wanted to give me a hard time she'd say "talk about your feelings"" "that would be worse than a 24 hour sulk" "We may have children I don't know if in seven years time or so we're living in a slightly bigger house... with a young family that would be nice" "I don't want to pin all my hopes on it and nothing happens we are quite old" "I can see bringing up teenage children in your fifties might be a bit strange come on then Henry, get on" "is it more tiring than you thought?" "until you're doing it you don't realise how sleep deprived you get and how totally exhausted you are all the time for several years" " That came as quite a shock" " Sometimes I go to bed at 8:30!" "which is ridiculous infact, I sometimes go to bed before Henry and George!" "He looks like his father doesn't he" "Hmm, George has got the cheek bones that run in Bruce's family and what have I got?" "eh?" "ooh!" "that's hard to answer darling" "We're at my first school where I was from about five to eight and this is where I stayed for three years" "I can remember being happy there" "I can remember also being miserable because I can remember crying" "I always seemed to be beaten on and never used to understand why" "Squad halt!" " You were here because?" " My parents were seperated and divorced and just to give me a stable place to be and be educated it was a solution to all those problems my hearts desire is to see my daddy who is six thousand miles away" "I did miss contact with my father, and although I say it as a joke to Penny "time to send them boarding, as I was"" "and she says "over my dead body" but I wouldn't want that either" "Five years ago the family moved from the Eastend to be near Bruce's new school it's very quiet, it's child friendly and it just feels very safe and that's very important when you have small children, that the area feels safe" "what can you give them that you didn't have?" "contact with a father that is loving and they can realise that and show that love to other people and realise when they're letting both themselves and me down" "I can be a guiding light for them" "Do you want any more children?" "Well..." "Bruce was originally talking about a cricket team but he's got his opening batsman and that's going to be his lot, frankly" "I want you to play tomorrow, I'm not going to drop you from sarcasm!" "I run one of the junior teams here, the under thirteens nearly two-hundred boys there doing that on a saturday rather than other things that could waylay them so that combination of playing in a team and the ability to back each other up" "and form friendships that's such a nice thing" "At weekends Bruce plays village cricket" "We don't really mind who wins and loses, we obviously prefer to win and we go on tour every year and go down to Devon it's such a nice bunch of mates and I've known some of them for twenty-five years" "you can play it at a reasonable level until your in your sixties and what about your batting skills?" "I'm mainly a bit of a slogger so I tend to bat down the order 6,7,8 it can be brief but the last time I played I got fifty" "Do you have fears for the future?" "I'm kind of worried that the boys will turn out alright, I hope they avoid drugs to see them sleeping or carrying them around is just fantastic and the smell of them and the look of them is just... you just want to protect them from everything that's harmful to them" "When you look back at yourself at seven can we see you now?" "I can't really recognise myself, he looks a little bit lost and sad, I think" "I'm quite surprised to be contented and reasonably happy" "Do you have a dream?" "I would've liked to play international cricket but I wasn't good enough one's dreams go in the day to day living of ordinary life and family life takes over" "I think we just sort of live without our dreams" "I don't like the big boys hitting us and the prefects sending us out for nothing" "When he was seven, Paul was in care in a children's home in London were you happy at the children's home in England?" "We didn't mind that really as we didn't know what was going on 'cause I was a bit young then well my mother and father separated originally I think" "they eventually got divorced" "I went to the boarding school for one year, then we emigrated to Australia" "Paul settled with his father and step-mother in a suburb of Melbourne what mark has it left on you, the fact you were brought up in a bad marriage" "The only thing I can say may have came from that is my lack of confidence and being able to show my feelings" "Would you like to get married Paul?" " Tell me why not" " I don't like... say you had a wife say you had to eat what they cooked you and say, I don't like vegetables, well I don't" "I know I prefer to be alone really" "I can't say I don't want to get married, 'cause I think I do but I want to be happily married and therefore I want to make sure" "What was it that you fell in love with, what is it about him?" "His helplessness I suppose, brings out the mothering instinct in me can pick him up and cuddle him and he's also very good looking I think but he doesn't agree with me and in the summer he's got this cute little bum in shorts" "I can tell quite a few stories here but the one that really irritates me the most is when we have an argument he says" ""that's it, leave me" and I say "fine alright, I will one day"" "We had our twentieth wedding anniversary just before christmas" "Which was a life sentence" "Yeah!" "everyone reckons we should be out of jail by now" "To a certain extent we started thinking "do we really know each other now?"" "because you just get into the routine of.." "going to work, coming back home, taking the kids here and there" "I don't think you mean to but you probably stop thinking of each other alot" "I find it hard to express emotion most of the time although I'm getting on top of that" "I'm more than happy now just the simple things to say to Susan, like "I love you" or something like that" "I mean I can tell you about it but" "I really haven't been able to say it freely to Sue, y'know?" "It's a bit hard to talk about but I did have to get a bit of help it wasn't directly due to our relationship, it started at work sadly which brought my self esteem down which affected everything else" "and I was very fortunate that I saw a local doctor with her help I started properly coming back to normal thinking" "I was feeling a little worried about the relationship as I felt I hadn't progressed and I was going backwards and I still believe that" "I was thinking that "why would Susan want to be with someone as... "" "it sounds funny but "as boring as me"" "'cause there was nothing there, what do I do?" "How do I say it?" "... it was a shock that he got that low and doubted the relationship because one thing I've always known is Paul's never doubted his love for me it's always been there and I've never doubted it either" "Did the physical side of your marriage suffer?" "I think it did" " I think it did really" " For a little while" "But we promised ourselves when we first got married that... we'd never stop touching or being affectionate towards each other and infront of the children, we've always been... even now with the children, we still embrace a lot, both Katie and Robert" "Katie will sometimes say "Mother... stop it!"" "I was going to be a policeman but I thought how hard it would be to join in" "I just haven't made up my mind yet I was gonna be a gym teacher but one of the teachers told me that" "I had to get up into the university" "At twenty-one, Paul was a junior partner for a firm of bricklayers by twenty-eight he had gone out on his own as a sub-contractor" "When I started working for myself things were looking good for me" "I was out of school, it was something I was very enthusiastic about and I was chasing the dangling carrot but never got there really, I'm a worker and not a business man by the time he was forty-two, Paul was doing factory work" "making signs for a plastics company" "What's the future for you at work?" "Well the job's still there" "I've had talks with them about whether they're ushering me out the door they say they're not, not that I'm that old but it's a bit of a worry... about getting a fulltime job with my skill levels" "Sue had been a hairdresser for most of her working life but at forty-nine she has a new career as an occupational therapist at a retirement home you might be in your forties and getting older but you still have a lot to add and... and you can learn to go in a different direction, I call this my sea change" " Do you have ambitions?" " Not really now" "I've been in this job ten years and never asked for a payrise that's just what I've always been like" "Has it affected home life at all?" "It has affected a little bit because..." "I'm not there at home as much as I used to be for when Paul got home it can be, and I'm sure I'm not the only one... it can be quite startling when you get home and think "there's no one here"" " When I've been here for 30 years to come home to" " It's really different" "By the time they were twenty-eight, they had two children, Katie and Robert" "Katie did well at school and got a place at university to study archeology they're photos of the dig in Cyprus that I went on and we were digging in bronze age tombs that are around the village" "You're the first person in the family to go to university, was it a struggle?" "It was a bit as I had to do it all by myself" "I had nobody to help me as mum and dad couldn't help me with my essays" "What does university mean?" "I'm pretty happy with Katie and I'm not having a go at Rob but I've got fears for Robert 'cause he's struggling a little bit" "Robert has trained as a car mechanic" "He's got reading and writing difficulties and he's coping with that we'd like to see him doing a literacy course now he's a bit older but just day to day troubles with making ends meet with money that's always hard" "He went nuts at me for using the phone" ""there's enough in that fucking garage you cunts you fucking do this all the time"" "What's Robert got that you gave him?" "Moodiness, I think he's even a little bit more moody than I've ever been he's not your average relaxed twenty-one year old" "What you doing?" "We only had two children as we thought we couldn't love any more children as much as we loved our two and now we have our two grand kids and we love them" " You love them as much, really do" " As much, yeah" "With Rob and Stacy we don't know how long they're going to last for and I keep my fingers crossed they will last we can only hope that they work at it like we do" "That's better, thank you" "In their twenties Paul and Sue sold up bought a van and travelled Australia" "I think it brought us closer together because we really got to know each other and we relied on each other so much" "One of the most important things we ever did with our kids was spend time with them and particularly when you've got holidays which a lot of parents do, go camping with them" "we've been camping there now for 19 years as Robert was two when we first went there" "So does this beat the old van?" "This is the Hilton compared to that old van" "So have you got any plans for any big trips now the children have gone?" "I think we'd like to do something again but... you need to have the finances to support yourself for a few of months and the monitors up in the wash room sends the nurse out" ""well there's no talking" "no I wasn't talking today"" "I'm more at peace around the horses and the animals" "I can be upset and on edge and come down to the horses and within three or four minutes I've forgotten everything so it does calm me down" "The last time I came you had the horses, what's happened to the horses?" "Well we gave Poinken away to some people because it was a little bit expensive and also the fun went out of it basically" " How do you get that peace now?" " I think I got it through running" "Well most Sunday mornings we go training when Paul's doing marathons when he runs great distances I follow on the bike as a bit of support and I take drinks for him so he doesn't get dehydrated it's something we can do together so we do that" "We're not doing any great distances..." "I have an injured knee, I'm just building it up so it gets used to running again" "I did the Host City marathon, that was my first marathon I did up in Sydney they trialed the Olympic course and it was open to anyone so I figured if you were going to do a marathon that would be the one to do" "I nearly died but I enjoyed it!" "happiness to me is a love for life and a love for people" "When you look back on the marriage and the family, any regrets?" "No, we wish we'd had more children but who knows if we'd had them..." " We'd have said "too many!"" " We might be both in the nut house!" "Without a family what have you got?" "nothing well that's the way I feel" " More than work and achievements?" " Yeah" "You've got nothing unless you've got family and health anyway it would be awfully lonely without family I think" "Tell me, do you have any boyfriends Suzy?" "Yes" "Tell me about them" "Well he lives up in Scotland and I think he's thirteen" "Have you got any boyfriends Suzy?" "What is your attitude towards marriage?" "for yourself?" "Well I don't know, I haven't given it a lot of thought 'cause I'm very, very cynical about it" "but then you get a certain amount of faith restored in it" "I've got friends and their parents are happily married and so it does put faith back into you, but me myself I'm very cynical about it" "When I last saw you at twenty-one you were nervous, chain-smoking, uptight and now you seem happy what's happened to you over these last seven years?" "Well I suppose Rupert" " I'll give you some credit" " Thank you!" "I'm not a chain-smoking person" "I think, you can't just walk through a marriage and think once you get married it's all going to be roses and everything forever y'know you have... well everybody has their rows, but we've never yet had a row that we haven't managed to sort out" "it's very hard to actually say what it is that goes on between a couple it's either there or it's not" "We've been married twenty-seven years now any marriage has its ups and downs but somehow whether through luck or determination we've worked through the difficult times" "he's just always been there for me, and..." "I know I can rely on him and... he's my punch-bag in the same way I'm probably his but it works" "When I get married I'd like to have two children" "I'm not very children minded at the moment and I don't know if I ever will be" " What do you think about them?" " well, I don't like babies" "At twenty-eight, Suzi had two sons, Thomas and Oliver by the time she was thirty-five, Suzi had a daughter, Laura" " Mummy" " Yeah?" " Laura wants you" "So what are the children up to?" "They are..." "Tom is living in London having graduated and now working and living in London" "Olly is working and living at home and Laura is doing her AS exams it was difficult when they first started to move away all those memories of the children growing up it's like a closed chapter now as you can't bring those days back" "what I admire about the young today is their confidence and that's what I wished I'd had they just seem to take life and deal with it" "What sort of things do you do?" "Ride, swim, play tennis, ping-pong and I might play croquet something like that" "I did have a privileged childhood but you have to take responsibility for your life somewhere along the line and some people take responsibility earlier than others" "I was just a bit later in taking it maybe now is the first time that..." "I actually feel happy within my own skin, it's taken me a long time to do it but I feel that I can accept wrong decisions that I've made in the past" "I'm comfortable with it now, I can live with it" "So what's it been like for you being in these films?" "Very difficult very painful not an experience I've enjoyed in any way every seven years it throws up issues that... we all learn to put into compartments and then it all gets opened up again and it's difficult" "we were all landed in it and most of us for whatever reason have chosen to do it" "I'm not an outgoing confident person" "I like my privacy, I don't like... however many million people picking over my life" "and is that what they do, you think?" "I think for a couple of minutes, yes, then it's yesterdays news and people seem to read into what they think we all think which I find very hurtful as most of them come up with things that are not like what's going on in my head" "I think she might be alright" "What's the point of people going into peoples lives and saying" ""Why do you like this and why don't you?" I don't see any point in it" "So have you had enough of being in the film?" "who knows in seven years whether it will be done again but... this is me saying hopefully I'll reach my half century next year and I shall bow out" "When I grow up I'd like to find out all about the moon and all that" "Nick, a farmer's son, grew up in the Yorkshire dales" "I said I was interested in physics and chemistry, well I'm not going to do that here at fourteen he was away boarding school and at twenty-one reading physics at Oxford" "So what career are you going to pursue?" "It depends whether I'll be good enough to do what I want to really do" "I would like if I can to do research" "By twenty-eight he had moved to America and was doing nuclear research at the University of Wisconsin" "The fusion reaction gives off energy and produces the power that would be turned into electrical energy and sent out to the consumer" " How hot is it in there?" " In there, it's about ten million degrees at thirty-five he was an associate professor and at forty-two, a full professor" "and I've spent the last year and a half writing a couple of books my ambition is to be more famous for doing science than for being in this film but unfortunately it's not going to happen!" "Over the years, Nick's research hit trouble and by forty-nine he's had to abandon it because the containers needed to store the hot gases couldn't be developed" "Was there a moment when you realised all you'd been doing wasn't going to work?" "I think it was more gradual, I didn't want to admit it for quite a while" "I really believed in it, it was a huge let down so the area that I'm looking at is this times this" "I don't know why I have a compulsion to teach, it was always there in me" "I just wanted to do it, I thought I'd be good at it when I go into a classroom I try to explain to them... why they might want to do it, that's my attempt to open a door for them" "so I'm hoping you will remember me being very stupid and saying..." ""Ow, there's arrows coming out of here" can we do that?" "they can get information from a book" "I have to make the information more interesting than a book" "I'm doomed to do this over and over and over... and nobody's ever said that I was a typical engineer" "the under-graduates tell jokes about engineer's, the only one I can repeat is" "How can you tell if an engineer is an extrovert?" "and the answer is" " He looks at YOUR shoes when he's talking to you somebody had a theory that scientists and mathematicians are almost autistic" "I could easily be borderline autistic!" "I don't quite understand how other people feel about things at times" "Do you have a girl friend?" "I don't want to answer that" "I don't want to answer those kind of questions" "I thought that one would come up because when I was... when I was doing the other one somebody said" ""what do you think about girls?" and I said "I don't answer questions like that is that the reason you're asking it?" "yeah I thought so the best answer would be to say that I don't answer questions like that it was what I said when I was seven and it's still the most sensible but I mean, what about them?" "Nick was only seventeen when I first met him" "If you've been somebody who... who had fixed ideas of a woman's role in marriage that meant... dinner on the table at six every evening" "Didn't I tell you about that?" "His wife Jackie also taught at the university and they had a son, Adam six years ago they divorced" "Well it was incredibly hard what I concluded, and I've talked to other people who have gone through it" "I'm not sure if they feel it as strongly as I did but it was like a death" "Anything could happen, we could easily drift apart there are so many pressures on people" "If your spouse died you could look back and say "it was wonderful while it lasted"" "but in a divorce you can't look back and say..." ""these are all happy memories"" "it wasn't my decision she went to England, her father was ill by the time she'd landed he'd died and when she came back... it was like a different person came back was I responsible?" "I could've been braver about some things but if I'd been braver it might've ended sooner you can talk to me by myself outside but I'll just meet you by the garage, ok?" " Alright" " Alright bye" "It's enormously hard to deal with, the worst part of it was... seeing how it would affect my son" " How old was he?" " Ten when he was first told he was terribly, terribly upset then he just pulled himself together and didn't want to talk about it anymore he's made the most of it, I mean the best of it" "made the best that he can of it take it easy Adam, the main thing is not to crash" " Really?" "You don't like me crashing?" " No!" " How does he deal with it now?" " He doesn't talk to me about it much... at all, he's a private person it's very, very hard for me to be... spending a large part of my time with him not around" "Hey Graham what you doing?" "I had to go to a graduation, one of my students was getting his PHD and he insisted I go there with him and I looked around and the person behind me was Chris" "Hey Graham who is my new wife are you ok?" " Did you fall in love quickly?" " Immediately" "Except you decided that if I couldn't find you I had failed the test" "I decided it was his work to find me we did shake hands at the end of graduation stood up and said who we were but he immediately forgot he couldn't remember" ""ok I know who she is so I don't have to worry about that anymore" so I forgot!" "I do!" "that's very me she came down to the school to meet me and I barely knew what she looked like" "I looked at her and thought "I guess that's her" and I looked and did this and she did a mirror image of that gesture and I thought..." "I can't explain but I felt very strongly drawn to her by that little gesture and there was no way I would say no to being married to this man" "I wanted to be with him has he changed my life?" "dramatically have I changed as a person?" "I hope so" "I don't mean to be superficial but she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen" " Is he sexy?" " Hell yes!" "absolutely didn't you have fun with that one?" "I only have one child, Courtney and he only has one child there's a symmetry with that" "Would you ever have wanted a child together?" "well absolutely but it's not exactly practical" " So we're just..." " No... and Graham's added an element that's just joy and I know Nick likes little guys, he just likes little kids they'd like to come out for a holiday in the country when I'd like to have a holiday in the town" "it is very difficult being in a place where you're... far way from all your background and you don't have any support network" "my parents are alive, they've both had very significant health issues my father keeps pointing out that old age isn't for sissy's you need a secretary" "Nick has two younger brothers back in England, Andrew and Christopher" "Christopher, the deaf one got divorced and he said to my mother..." ""that if Nicky could do it then so could I"" "so that changed" "Are you missing England?" "I always miss England" "I was really not the sort of person who should ever have moved very far" "When he was forty-two we took Nick back to where he grew up in the Dales" "What did you learn here that you've carried with you?" "I feel as if you could look deep somewhere inside me" "I feel like there's some of this in me somewhere" "I think of it as being magnificent but rather grim really it's very uncompromising and sometimes it's rather tragic but it makes other places you go seem rather trivial as well" "We call it one of our Dales rooms we have things that reflect the Dales, we have cards that we've framed and... some of the china from Nick's family is displayed up here" "well we're driving from Madison to Minneapolis as Chris lives in Minneapolis and I live in Madison so... we go up and down alternate weekends does it put stress on the relationship, these separations and re-uniting?" "I would say absence makes the heart grow fonder really" "Chris lives in Minneapolis, a five hour drive from Madison where she's an associate professor in the department of education" "Hey, want to see something?" " Work's a big part of both of your lives?" " It is" " Yes" "So we're both workaholics" "Is there anything in him you would like to change?" "Well that would be a really risky business wouldn't it" "I thought you had changed... if... no?" "Y'know, you don't mess with mother nature in terms of little things like how someone does their toothpaste those silly nonsense things he would not just say yes, he immediately attended to it" "I'd never been with anyone who did so I have to be careful what I ask him to do" "Oh go easy on the butter please, alright okay" "I could see it being a slippery slope" "I didn't want to go that way in terms of my..." " ordering his life" " She didn't want to make too many demands" "I didn't want him to be a different person" "If I could change the world, I'd change it into a diamond" "I think this film is extremely important it's important to me but it seems to be important to other people as well that doesn't make it an easy thing it's an incredibly hard thing to be in and I can't even begin to describe how emotionally draining and wrenching it is" "just to make the film and to do the interviews and that's even when I'm pretending that nobody else is watching it" "I think it's a heavy reminder that he's missing his roots there's an awful lot of emotions... attached to having a scrap book that's as vivid as this" "I'm going to work in Woolworths" "Lynn is the third of our Eastend girls she went to primary school with Jackie and Sue but chose to go onto a grammar school at twenty-one, she set out on a career as children's librarian in a mobile library in East London" " Have I stamped yours?" " Yes" "I've not stamped yours" "Sleeping Beauty" "Teaching children the beauty of books and watching their faces as books unfold for them is just fantastic to work with children of that age you've got to love them and I love children" "Because of cuts in the education budget the mobile library was shut down at forty-two, Lynne was working at Bethnall Green library you can draw, better than I can" "At forty-nine, she's still there" "Good morning, well what about you?" "good morning, are you going to say hello?" "How much of your work is with people like this?" "Probably five percent, it's a very small part of it but probably, currently the most challenging part of it" " Elephant?" " He's an elephant, where's the elephant?" "We still get six other schools regularly send classes in here it's busy most days" "Well I know he loves her and he loves her" "I don't I love him" "I've been married a year and... a couple of months you do think "christ, what have I done?"" "When she was nineteen she married Russ" "We married young but because we wanted to go out and have fun together thirty years and we're still together, he's my soul mate, he's my partner we respect each other hence, he is not here and you will not see him on this film" "because he has always felt that the... intrusion into our private life that this causes is too much" "I wanted, white wedding, all trimmings" "Russ would've been satisfied with very little" "Are you in love?" "very, very much he knows how much I love him and in my heart I know how much he loves me" "I put him on the spot sometimes if I could I would have two girls and two boys" "Yeah so would I" "Lynne and Russ have two daughters, Sara and Emma" "Emma's an installation co-ordinator for the company" "Sara is an accessories buyer it's a family run business" "At forty-two the girls were both doing very well at school" " Alright darling?" " Yeah" " Neither of the girls went to university?" " No" " Was that disappointing to you?" " No, their choice we discussed it, it's what they wanted to do they felt that the academic side wasn't for them you have to accept that it's their lives and you can only guide and be there for them" " Oh you big boy" " Where's your drink" " So you've got a grandson?" " He's a lovely lad, he really is" "I'm watching him in the same way from... twenty-one years ago when I held Sara up, when she was just born and now I'm watching Emma, and what goes around comes around as Emma now says that she says things to Connor that she heard me saying to her" "that still catches me out when I hear me say something that was purely my mum" "So was the arrival of Connor a shock to you?" "No!" "well yeah!" "but... as soon as Emma was expecting Connor" "I got the phone call "mum I need to meet you"" "so she told me face to face that she was expecting, fine she was nineteen, she's old enough" "when she was thirty-five, Lynne was having health problems they stuck all these tubes up inside me and discovered that I've got these veins up here, that shouldn't be there" " In your brain?" " Yes" " And what can they do about it?" " Not a lot at the moment" "No change it's not going away but it's no more problems, nothing... you have the aches and pains of getting older" "I've got bi-lateral carpal tunnel syndrome in both my wrists guess who had it?" "my mother!" "but it comes and go hence the magnetic bracelets which help but you have to overcome it" " What's white?" " Red" "Yeah we know that's red for the last thirty years I've been banging my head against a brick wall... to maintain children's services but this time no ones listening we've just done purple they say that the work that I do, that anybody can do it" " Blue" " Blue there would be no specialist running it one" "I may not have a job" " Hern loves Tintin" " Hern absolutely adores Tintin" "It's cost cutting" " So that's what it's about?" " Yes they would deny that are you going to speak to me today?" " No?" " No?" "lets hear you!" " Is it emotionally very demanding working with people like this?" " Yes but it's so fulfilling that it..." "beyond belief" "Azir, can you say it for me?" "I know you can but are you... no!" "you're not going to do it today" "Azir spoke to me on the phone a couple of years ago the first time he had ever spoken to me and it really got me it's extremely difficult for him to speak... and when he does you know he's making so much effort" "and it gets me excellent" " Well done Azir" " Thank you Azir" " Come a long way since the back of a van" " I was on the back of a bus yesterday!" "we took a bus out to a school that was having a book week just around the corner and..." "I had forgotten how much it sways where's your stamp?" " It's been a hell of a commitment for you hasn't it?" " Yeah but... but it will end" " Has it been worth it all?" " Yes very much" "Come on, speed it up all these things that I have said over the years are flying through my mind now but yes, it has been worth it" "and you better cut it 'cause otherwise I'm going to cry" "What do you think about rich people?" "Well..." "not much" "Tell me about them" "Well they think they can do everything without you doing it as well" "Simon was brought up in a children's home the only child of a single parent" "Rich people have all different things they have everything they want whereas poor people don't have anything and they know they haven't got anything so they know they're missing something" "What are you missing?" "Well I'd probably say a bike and... a fishing rod" "Twenty years ago when I was born an illegitimate child that's something that's only whispered about people feel strongly about it in those days but nowadays it's.." "it's not a serious matter the serious point is whether you stay with someone or you leave them since twenty-one" "I've got married, had a couple of kids" "By twenty-eight he had married Yvonne and they had five children well I don't think there's anybody else I could've ever married except Yvonne she gives me my life really because we're together, we have the children and everything" "By thirty-five they were divorced" "at forty-two he had married Vienetta we used to go out when we were younger, we met in the laundrette" " Once a week!" " Once a week in the laundrette!" "One stage we went to a marriage guidance 'cause the... pressures of being together were getting to us as we are two very different people" "I'm very laid back as she always says, if I go any further back I'll fall over!" "when two people are together after both having separate lives it is hard silly things like leaving the toilet seat up or if I put something here I expect to see it here and Simon can be very untidy he'll take everything of and fling it around the house" " Sorry dear" " I don't want it all mixed up" "Is he romantic?" "If we've had an argument and he doesn't know, as I will shout and he'll think..." ""what have I done?"" "and I'll be here, like now, and I'll see some flowers and a bottle of wine or something and he'll say "I don't know what I've done but I'm sorry"" "Vienetta already had a daughter, Miriam and she and Simon have a son, Daniel" "Is there anything of you in him?" "his dashing good looks, that's me!" "and his love of sport as well he goes to school in Slough as that's where they do grammar schools he's doing very well there" "They say "Where's your father then?"" "y'know when your mums out at work "Where's your father?"" "and I just tell them I ain't got one they've got everything then they've even got what I never had" " Which is what?" " A father isn't it!" "so they've had everything at one stage they all stopped seeing me at all but now, a bit older, a bit wiser... and I'm a bit older and wiser and now three of them see me" "Jessica has been very busy, she's got her work and college" " Who do you support?" " Man united - So your lot came second?" "Jonathon's been in a transitional period with changing jobs and... building up his new life the two that don't see me, I can't really see their point of view" "So what's it like being a grandfather?" "It's bloody easy actually!" "you can see them all day long and then they go back" " and you've got one?" " Two actually one that I see and one that I would only see if I kept going round to see him otherwise I wouldn't see him so I'm waiting for a return visit now" "before I'm old enough to get a job" "I'll just walk around and see what I can find" "I was going to be a film star, but now I'm going to be an electrical engineer which is more to reality really" "By twenty-one Simon was working in the freezer room of Walls sausages in London" "I know I can't stay at Walls forever, it's just not me" "I couldn't stay there for that long, my mind would go dead" "I'm quite happy to stay there it doesn't look like it's going to close down, so I mean... better the devil you know isn't it" "Walls did close the factory down since then he has worked near Heathrow airport handling freight" "the only reason I went there was to work near to where my son went to school so I could take him there" "Do you feel you could've done more with a career with your work?" "If I'd pushed myself at school probably I could've done a lot better" "Does that give you pause for thought?" "No that means I was a lazy sod when I was younger somebody said "you don't live to work, you work to live"" "and that's how it should be" "A couple of years ago Simon and Vienetta decided to train as foster parents" "I went to boarding school when I was young and I felt that was regimental they didn't allow for personal cares, for loving from the adult carers so I wanted to do something like that in my own home" "and we always say to foster carers" ""please do not cut the children's hair without the permission of the parents"" "What's the toughest thing about being a foster parent?" "You're taking a chance when you do it as you really don't know what you're getting one child had two knives in her hand as she didn't want to stay in this country" " Two knives in her hand!" " Did she threaten you?" "No she was just a threat to herself some of them come back, they phone you up and say "hello auntie and uncle"" "they come and have Sunday dinner and visit us which is good at least you know you made a little difference to that child's life we have Heathrow in our area and that gives us extra things foster carers might need to do" "So where are these children coming from that come to your house?" "All over the world" " Anywhere" " Anywhere when they come off the plane they expect to meet somebody but that person doesn't turn up" "Simon had been at the children's home with Paul so we brought Paul back from Australia to re-unite them" " was it good though?" " yeah yeah and you can see Windsor Castle from there oh wow, look at that we don't actually see or touch each other but we're living each others lives every seven years it all comes back and we get up to this far and we've done this and you've done that" "When they were twenty-one we took them back to where they spent some of their formative years together" " Yeah" " He was a real bastard" "I do try to be disciplined but..." "I actually hate discipline" "I believe the school has taught me that" "There's always been a bit of turmoil inside" "I believe that" "I can get on well with my mother sometimes we talk very well with each other but it's.." "sometimes not quite as mother and son" "When he was thirty-five, Simon's mother died of cancer there was so many things I never actually said to my mum" "just things you think about afterwards, it's too late because they're not there any more" "What sort of things?" "Just, I love you every day, and..." "Later on in life I did realise she got depressed as well so... that was probably a bigger reason than not being able to look after me" "My mum wrote to me when I was twenty-one and I never had any contact with her" "When I was twenty-one she came out an visited" "I did grow up without her so it was like looking at a total stranger" "I didn't recognise her at all so there was no real indepth feeling there" "Come on get in there next to him as well come on, let me get you organised" "Are these two guys very alike?" "Well I think they are as... they don't rush into things, they stand back and have a look at it you make them enjoy their self's, like.." "when we went for a walk yesterday I said..." ""You ARE coming and you ARE having a good time" and he did have a good time so... they're both very family orientated" " and they've both married noisy women!" " That's true!" "that works for me" "I had a dream when all the world was on top of me... and everything was on me, and I just about got out and everything flew up in the air..." "I still look up in the sky as I don't know any better everything I have, I always think..." ""Is that OK?" "is it right that I should have that?"" "people are undecided about you they can be friend one day and not the next" "I wanted to be a boxer, actor... but... but I never actually really wanted them" "I just wanted to be liked" "That's all Paul wants out of people people to like him for who he is and what he is without having to put on any false pretences so I think that's why he doesn't open himself up to people" " Do you have any regrets?" " Yes I do... that we didn't get together earlier" " I think marriage is good for me" " What does she give you?" "Hot dinners and a warm bed!" "I don't know!" "she gives me a balance in my life because... on my own I would probably be your typical slob" "men behaving badly we do get things done and we do things together ...multiply by four and divide..." "Is it tough for the two of you being in these films?" "I will say that I do love watching everybody else but I always hate them and by the end I hate you lot too!" "direct all of my anger in one place y'know!" "I read the Financial Times" "I read the Observer and the Times" "What do you like about it?" "Well I like..." "I usually look at the headlines then read about it" "At seven years old, John, Andrew and Charles... were in a private preparatory school in London" "What's the point of the program?" "it's the point of the program is to reach a comparison and I don't think it is" " Good point" " Because we're not typical examples and I think that's what people seeing the program might think falsely" "That's one of the troubles with this sort of program" "I don't really think that people like us" "Unless we're seven and being rather funny, have very much to say that's... very interesting, because I mean... we don't know very much" "Well we didn't know very much when we were seven" " But we were still quite funny" " We were at least funny!" "What do you think about girlfriends at your age?" "I've got one but I don't think much of her" "They're no longer just bores" ""We won't play this" or something they're the other half of the community and they're there and you can begin to talk to them" "I don't think I financially come from the same background" "Andrew didn't go for a classy debutante, he went for a good Yorkshire lass but obviously he knew what he wanted" "Does money concern you a lot?" "No I think as long as one has enough to be comfortable that's really what one should aim for" "What's the most difficult thing about keeping the marriage together?" "I don't think it is particularly difficult actually we seem to manage alright" " Would you say?" " I think so, we talk don't we" "So how is married life?" "Well I still Love him if that's what you're asking and likewise" "I'm going to Charterhouse and after that, Trinity Hall Cambridge" "Andrew went to Charterhouse and Cambridge, where he read law" "I'd like to be a solicitor and also fairly successful at twenty-eight Andrew was a solicitor" "What qualities do you think it needs to be successful?" "Well you have to have a legal ability in my business, obviously by thirty-five he had become a partner" "In a couple of weeks we're having a legal conference in Dublin" "At forty-nine, Andrew has left the law firm" "I've moved to a large industrial gas's company which makes... oxygen and nitrogen, hyrdrogen, things like that" "Were you taking a chance?" "Ye's, I've been at the same firm for over twenty years but it's not very challenging and changing like this particularly quite late in your career, stretches you" "I think it's not a bad idea to pay for schools because if we didn't schools would be so nasty and crowded" "Yes, so do I think so and the people in the schools wouldn't..." "and the poor people would come rushing in and the man in charge of the school would get very angry and he would get bankrupt he wouldn't be able to pay all the teachers if he didn't get any money" "education is very important and you can never be sure of leaving your children any wordly goods, but at least you can be sure that once you've given them a good education that's something that no one can take away" "Andrew and Jane have two sons, Alexander and Timothy" "Alexander's at univeristy in his first year at Newcastle and Timothy's at boarding school" "I think he'd like to go to university but that's as far as he's thought over the summer holidays we might talk about other universities" "Andrew and Jane live in London but they have a second home in the country" "Well we bought it just when we got married it was a two-hundred year old barn we bought in an auction completely derelict, nothing in it at all except for manure and slowly over the years we've just been converting it" "but it's really taken us up until recently to do that" "Holly come on there's a railway line that runs along the bottom of our land there's foxes down there, we've been seeing a few cubs recently" "What sort of hobbies does Alexander enjoy?" "Well on the odd occassion he's quite keen on doing what we call... dangerous sports and we're going to treat him to a balloon ride in advance of his birthday which is coming up soon" " Here we go" " See you later" "I have been in a balloon once myself, it was for my fathers birthday it was all going well until the end when we managed to hit some trees" "Oh don't tell me that now and the basket landed on its side" "It's very high, very high" "When we landed there was a request that... that all the ladies go down wind so that we could land on top of them" "Once I had a talk to Grevil, he was in my class and" "I asked Sir if he could put him out of my class as he was always getting minuses" "Do you think life is tougher for your children than it was for you?" "Yes certainly, I think it's much more competetive for children" "When I leave the school, I go to Broadstairs, St. Peter's Court when you look back at us at age seven and I was saying what I was going to do it's as if my life was mapped out for me" "you could never get a child saying that now "I'm going to go to Cambridge"" "things have become less certain as a result" " and you three had huge opportunities - we did, absolutely yes" "Well I think boarding makes you feel self-sufficient and also it teaches you to be away from your parents who was the big influence in giving you a sense of proprotion and value?" "Well obviously it's your parents they bring you up for your first eighteen years of life" "Well I have my bath at six o'clock..." "Do you ever look back and wish anything differently?" "perhaps as the children were growing up I'd liked to have spent more time... at home with them, rather than in the office but obviously that's too late to do now" "So everything we say, they'll think" ""well that's a typical result of the public school system"" "when we were seven, fourteen and twenty-one we were prepared to say what we thought but we've become more guarded over the years" "What are you guarded about?" "I'm guarded about being guarded!" "Here we go" " So did you have to fall on the ladies?" " No the lady fell on me but it was my wife so that was good" "When I leave school" "I'm going to The Dragon School, I might and after I might go to Charterhouse Marlborough" "I don't particularly want to be rich but I'd like to have enough money" "Charles went to Marlborough and then onto Durham university since twenty-one he's taken no further part in these films when I leave this school I'm going to Collet Court" "and then I would be going to Westminster Boarding School if I pass the exam and then we think I'm going to Cambridge and Trinity Hall" "John went to Westminster and read Law at Christchurch Oxford" "I'm thinking of following a legal career... with a view to ending in parliament" "Might be in the courts" "Doing what?" "Perhaps Chancery practise" "I now have a career, I'm a Barrister other than that life chugs along in varying degrees well in a sense nothing's has changed in my job in the last fourteen years" "I'm still a barrister, I still wear a curly white wig the only visible difference is I wear a silk gown as I'm now a Q.C." " Are you ambitious?" " Yes" " What for?" " Fame and power" " what sort of power?" " political power" "I'd quite like to go into politics but that's easier said than done" "I have thought about trying to get myself on the candidates list but who knows, I haven't written myself off as a potential politician... even though I'm already forty-nine" "I worry about the quality of our democracy, I worry about this government not because they're socialists and will round us all up and take us off" "Trafalgar square to face the guillotine, far from it..." "Tony Blair is a very good conservative as I see it but rather because of the insidious damage they are doing to our constitution" "The rich children always make fun of poor children it's very irresponsible as we all want more money as much money as we can get" "The acquisition of lots and lots of money is not something I set much importance by" "I'm not money minded in that sense" "Obviously it's nice to have a fair amount of money and it does enable you to go on nice holidays, buy nice things, but... as a goal in itself?" "no, who want's to be the richest corpse in the graveyard?" "By the time he was thirty-five, John had a house in London and one in the country" "I seem to spend a lot of time gardening furiously trying to tame the wilderness that we inherited there" "I'd have laughed if ten years ago you'd have told me that" "I'd spend most of my time digging herbacious borders and things but that's what I seem to do and I enjoy it one good thing about having a large house in the country now is that" "I've taken up playing the piano" "Its a very nonchalant little theme, butter wouldn't melt in its mouth" "Take it very quietly and let it just present itself" "A couple of years ago I did start again and even practising, but I'm afraid..." "I've lost an awful I ot of dexterity" "whether it's old age and arthritis or it's falling off horses too many times" "I don't know but I don't feel I've got quite the dexterity in my fingers" "Certainly I can never tell the difference between you playing and the CD playing" " When I'm out of the room, he's very good" " She's very diplomatic" "No no it's true" "When boys go around with girls they don't pay attention to what they're doing for instance my grandmother had an accident, because a boyfriend was kissing his girlfriend in the street" "By thirty-five John had married Claire the daughter of a former ambassador to Bulgaria" "It is coincidental that we met but.." "it's obvious that the Balkan connection was a strong mutual interest" "We have a charity, Friends of Bulgaria which started in 1991 which made quite a lot of money we then invested and took out to Bulgaria we support some children's homes in Stara Zagora an institution for disabled children" "and we make donations to other charities people who talk about the government butchering the National Health Service" "I think should come over to Bulgaria to see what being kept short of necessary supplies and funds really does mean we've been told in some places it's impossible to do operations albeit they have the operating theatres and excellent doctors" "for want of simple anaesthetics" "Up until then there had been no provision for education of disabled children so we started what was called a Parralleca which is parrallel education for the disabled and we've now got two classes here" "Claire and I have been giving prizes to the most talented children in town this school that we're in was built by my family at the end of the 19th century and they also used to present prizes... to the best children each year right until the advent of communism in 1944" "I come from a very old family with big traditions of service to this country and when I come here I feel very proud of them as I feel in so many ways they've helped build Bulgaria" "this church is quite interesting it was built by my great great great grandfather in 1835 they say he made off with eight tons of gold and even today the mountains are full of treasure hunters who keep digging up all the caves in hope of finding the treasure" "I wish I could find it once I'd refinded my equitable life pension fund" "I reckon... shoot the horses, shoot the wife and... and only drink Bulgarian wine I may be able to retire aged 94 or something" "Straw McAnessy got three minuses in a day, he's a pest it has to be said that I bitterly regret that the headmaster of the school where I was when I was seven, pushed me forward for this series" "because every seven years a little pill of poison is injected into..." "Oh no!" "Well that's just the truth there are times when I've felt appearing on this... may get causes near to my heart a bit of publicity and certainly, when you came to Bulgaria for the 35up program that did lead to us getting quite significant assistance" "which possibly we wouldn't have got well I think it's a very good system" "I suspect that why this program is compelling and interesting for viewers and I quite see why it is because really... it's like Big Brother or I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here it is actually real life TV" "with the added bonus that you can see people grow old, lose their hair, get fat fascinating I'm sure, but does it have any value?" "that's a different question" "Well we pretend we've got swords and we make the noises of the swords fighting and when somebody stabs us we go "ARRGHHH!"" "Neil grew up in a Liverpool suburb he had dreams of going to Oxford but didn't get in instead he went to Aberdeen university but dropped out after the first term at twenty-one he was working on a building site" "and living in a squat" "I would like to be somebody in a position of importance and I've always thought this but I don't think I'm the right sort of person to carry the responsibility for whatever it is, I always thought well I'd love to be... possibly even love to be in politics or something like this" "by twenty-eight he was homeless wandering around the West coast of Scotland if the money runs out then for a few days there's nowhere to go to and that's all you can do, I simply have to find the warmest shed I can find" "How do people regard you here?" "Well I'm still known as an eccentric" "I'm not claiming that I feel as though I'm in some sort of Nirvana, but" "I'm claiming that if I was living in a bed-sit in suburbia I'd be so miserable" "I'd feel like cutting my throat" "At thirty-five we found him living on a council estate in the most Northernly part of Britain, the Shetland Islands it's an environment which sustains me, it's one in which I can survive and the reason I don't feel safe is because" "I think I'm getting more and more used to this lifestyle which eventually I shall have to give up" "and what would you like to be doing say in seven years?" "I can think of all kinds of things I'd like to be doing the real question is what am I likely to be doing?" "What are you likely to be doing?" "That's a horrible question" "I think most likely I'll be wandering homeless around the streets of London but with a bit of luck that won't happen" "I'll just point out some of the considerable disadvantages first of all they are geographically isolated by 42, Neil had moved to London and was a liberal democrat on Hackney council" "While I was in Shetland I felt strongly that I should become involved in politics simply because I felt I wasn't acheiving things in the way I wanted to" "I didn't expect to see you driving Neil" "Well neither did I, if you'd asked me that question... a few years ago I'd have been surprised but it was my brother's wife's car and fortunately she was about to change vehicles at the time" "and they let me have it without charge which was a very magnimious gesture" "At 49 Neil has left London moved to Cumbria in the North West of England and become a member of the local district council chairman, fairly simple, it was a committee decision, a majority decision his own group on the establishment committee agreed with the decision" "Councillor Hughes" "For Councillor Nyam's information" "Councillor Cook has reconsidered his opinion you ventured at that meeting" "I'm a liberal democrat, I'm standing for the county council for this seat which is 400 square miles in size so it's a huge constituency" " and this is one of the 84 seats - and who has this seat at the moment?" "it's a conservative councillor at the moment" " a big majority?" " significant there's a lot of work for me to do and if not this time maybe next time what are the chances this time?" "I'm doing my best funnily enough, when I first came up here" "I was considering giving it up altogether but after only two days I just got involved again maybe it's impossible to give up politics" "I have a lot of respect for the liberal dem's but don't think I'll vote for them because I'll vote for Mr McClean and he's keen on preserving our way of country life with hunting in particular" "it's already disadvantaged us since the problems with foot and mouth well certainly more people vote perhaps they see the impact more starkly on their lives than those in London" "I found in many parts of London there was a huge apathy because... because it seemed like they used to say" ""it doesn't matter who you vote for, the government always gets in"" "So when I saw you 7 years ago you seemed content and happy in London so why the change?" "I neither felt that I was satisfying... the community around me, nor did I feel I was satisfying myself and that was obviously not an ideal situation at 42 when Neil first arrived in London from the Shetland Islands" "he lodged with Bruce he was a model host although he did always insist on measuring the amount of bathwater there was in the bath!" "and I'm not quite sure why that was he'd find the fridge a bit noisy so he'd turn it off!" "I had occassions where he'd walk round the block or..." "No I accept that I wasn't the model lodger in every way however that only emphasises how patient you actually were" "I've had little contact with Bruce, we've exchanged one or two letters but maybe ours was a friendship which had flourished it was a genuine friendship in the circumstances... in which we found ourselves in London" "I think that's what happens in life, you... people you are close to and then circumstances drift you apart and you find other peopleand... you wonder sometimes what's happening to them and hope they're alright... but that's what happens in life" "in the winter if you live in the country it would just all be wet and there wouldn't be anything for miles around" "I feel, especially sometimes when I'm on my own that I'm losing touch with the way other people live" "Do you worry about your sanity?" "Other people sometimes worry about it" "Like who?" "As I said I sometimes can start behaving in an erratic fashion sometimes I get very frustrated, very angry for no apparent reason, for a reason that won't be apparent to people around me" "Do you ever think you're going mad?" "Oh I don't think it, I know it well 'cause... we're not allowed to use the word mad but you know..." "I think most people are mad here, really" "How's your health?" "It's probably very good at the moment and living in this rural setting... is obviously healthier than living in a city there is less stress" "I ended up with a former council flat which is nothing luxurious but I was lucky to get it and as soon as I could see the view out of my window across the stream and trees and the hills in the background" "I knew I was in the right place" "I know that many people say they feel closer to god in the countryside" "I wouldn't want to be simplistic about it but because... one is much closer to natural life one is therefore much closer to the springs of life" " Yes I'd say I believed in god" " Are you religious?" "Well I go to church with my parents on Sundays well I don't know now even if I believe in god or not" "I've thought an awful lot about it actually and I still don't know" "And how's he been treating you?" "Well I said to somebody last week that I preferred the old testament to the new testament because in the old testament, god is very unpredictable and that's how I've seen him in my life #my jesus#" "#my saviour# #lord there is none like you# #tower of refuge and strength# remembering Jim and Ann" "Bruce and Julia" " and Doreen as well" " Doreen" "I was first a Lay Reader in London after completeting more training I was re-licensened by the bishop of Carlisle nature's lovely, nature's made by god it gives me the peace of mind to accept when things don't go the way they want to" "politics can be a very bruising game" " I will maintain my faith, I will continue to trust in god" " Yes" "I'm absolutely sure that my faith has helped me through these difficult times" "Would you ever see you having a career in the church?" "While I have a dedication to the church I haven't experienced what I would call a calling into the priesthood or anything of that kind so the answer is no at the moment when I grow up I want to be an astronaut" "but if I can't be an astronaut I think I'll be a coach driver if the state didn't give us any money, it would probably just mean crime and I'm glad I don't have to steal to keep myself alive" "Neil spends one day a week doing voluntary work for Oxfam" "I enjoy doing this, it's relaxing, I love books and I enjoy the company here" "I'd much rather have a fulltime job where I was being paid but because of the coucil work I do..." "I really want a job in the rest of my time that isn't too stressfull well these are all £6:99 new so I'm putting them in at £1:99" "I get just over £200 a month allowance for being councillor on top of that I get £9 a week job-seekers allowance and I get my housing benefits as well which pays my rent and I did some teaching of French to young children last year" "and that was a very useful income while I did it" "When I go home, I come..." "I come in and mummy gives me a cup of tea..." "I don't think I was taught any sort of policy of living at all by my parents this was probably their biggest mistake that I was just left to fend for myself in a world which they seemed completely oblivious of" "what I'd like most of all would be... to be able to do something for my parents when they are older to be there when the time is neccesary" "well my father died five years ago" "I do feel however that I'm a little nearer to my mother since then both geographically and possibly emotionally it's never been an easy relationship and I'm not claiming everything is healed now but I feel I can speak to my mother" "Do you miss your dad?" "I had a great relationship with my father when I was much younger my relationship with him did deteriorate as I got older" "I sometimes felt that he'd made the wrong decision in advice he'd given me or things he'd done but then obviously he had his own life to lead!" "just a few months before he died we went together to a cricket match well we had what I knew would be the last long talk we would have because he was dying at the time then and we were both relaxed as we were doing something we enjoyed doing" "which was relaxing in the sunshine and watching sport so I felt that some bridging of the gap did take place that day when I get married I don't want to have any children because they are always doing naughty things and making the whole house untidy" "I always told myself that I would never have children" "Why?" "Because children inherit something from their parents and even if my wife were the most... high spirited and ordinary and normal of people the child would still stand a very fair chance of being not totally... full of happiness because what he or she will have inherited from me" "no I've never married and I don't have a girlfriend at the moment it's one of the regrets of my life actually that I've not met... somebody of the other sex I thought I could have a permament relationship with" "but" "I'm probably not the easiest of people to get on with" "I did have one girlfriend for close on two years so maybe I'm not as completely hopeless a character as might seem to be the case" "Do you miss a physical side, a sexual side in your life?" "I am a physical person so I imagine I could be happy in a lasting relationship with somebody but you have to make do with reality and there are many things that might've happened in my life that haven't happened" "and there is little point in being regretful and angry about that" "You seem to have a much stronger sense of purpose to your life than before" "I see that life comes once and it's quite short and you have to appreciate what's good in it and if I could just tell a short story..." "I was sunbathing and a butterfly landed quite close to me beautiful wings, deep red colours and white circles on them and these creatures don't last very long but it landed very close to me it didn't seem frightened" "and it just seemed to delight in opening and closing its wings and just being beautiful for that period of time enjoying the sunshine perhaps there isn't anything more to life than that than just being what you are realising that life goes on all around and... there's millions of other living creatures who all have to find their paths as well" "At the end of their very special day in London after their trip to the zoo and the party we took our children to an adventure playground where they could do just what they liked" "those from a children's home set about building a house" "there's Nicholas" "and Tony" "Andrew" "John" "and Bruce" "Suzi" "Jackie and her friends" "give me a child until he is seven and I will give you the man" "this has been a glimpse of Britain's future"