"_" "Mary, it's too dangerous." "You must go." "No, Frankenstein." "If I am to die, let it be by your side." "[ Gunshot ]" "[ Groans ]" "I told you, Frankenstein, there is no place you can hide that I will not find you." "Oh, Mary." "[ Gasps ]" "My heart may first have been stolen from a corpse, but now it is stolen again... by you." "Cut!" "[ Bell rings ]" "What's that, man?" "!" "You call that being shot?" "!" "I don't want that." "I've seen better bullet wounds in a sixth-grade production of "Wizard Of Oz"!" "You've just been shot!" "You're dying!" "It's the second time you've died!" "So that's all in there!" "I want to see all that, and then I want you to really taste in your mouth all of life's ironies." "For the first time, it makes sense to you." "Let's try it again, all-- [ Silenced gunshot ]" "[ Groans ]" "[ Exhales sharply ]" "I've been shot." "[ Breathing heavily ]" "[ Inhales sharply ]" "[ Strained ] Oh, burning!" "See?" "This is how you get shot." "End... scene." "Wait." "I-- He's actually been shot!" "[ British accent ] Ooh." "I mean, that was really good acting." "Diego!" "♪ Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh ♪" "♪ oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh ♪" "Kove:" "This is the fifth director who's been killed while shooting the sequel to "Stein."" "Production is shut down again, and if this keeps up, the film will never make its tent-pole position as the first blockbuster of next summer." "Jessie:" "Personally, I think the books are better than the movies." "Trent, what do you think?" "Trent:" "I don't know." "I've never seen a movie." "In fact, I hate 'em." "That goes double for books." "Piper:" "Shouldn't we be concerning ourselves with the real terrorist threats?" "Kove:" "Watch your mouth!" "An attack on the San Diego entertainment industry is more dire than a nuclear bombing or mass genocide." "First, the directors are killed." "Then, the movie business moves up the coast to Sacramento." "Without the movie or TV industry, San Diego will become dried up like a dead dog." "Make no mistake, we're dealing with a full-fledged film terrorist who will stop at nothing to prevent the fans of these graphic-novels-turned- novels-turned-films-turned- reboots from seeing the completion of the film they could so easily read, but so desperately want to see." "Jessie:" "Wow!" "You should post on my "Stein" fansite." "You're so passionate and opinionated." "Kove:" "Indeed I am, Jessie, which you would know if you listened to my podcast." "We just got new merch in my online shop." "Jessie:" "You're still doing that interview show?" "Kove:" "It's not just an interview show-- it's a spotlight into the inner lives of A-list celebs." "But what difference does it make?" "With the movie business out of San Diego, I'll never get my primo guests." "I'll be left interviewing losers like you." "Alphonse: [ Sighs ]" "Jessie:" "You guys, it's okay." "She meant me." "All:" "Oh!" "Phew!" "Jessie:" "Forensics shows that this bullet matches the other four bullets from the "Stein"" "killings, and this specific bullet is manufactured and sold in only one store in San Diego's British district." "Piper:" "How long have you known about this?" "Jessie:" "Couple of weeks, but I waited until the fifth killing just to make sure there was a connection." "Trent:" "Stupid brits." "Still haven't forgiven us for stealing "The Office" and making it better." "Alphonse: [ Scoffs ]" "Trent: [ Scoffs ]" "Piper:" "Where are you going?" "Trent:" "British district." "Alphonse:" "Time to crack some fish and chips." "Trent:" "And pay for it... in pounds." "Piper:" "Yikes." "Kove:" "Trent, Alphonse, you have a ride-along." "Trent:" "No." "We ride solo-- just the two of us." "Kove:" "Perhaps you'll change your mind when you hear it's" "Alistair McQueen." "Trent:" "Oh, God." "Alphonse:" "Whoa!" "Huge fan!" "You're a really good actor, like a modern-day" "Joseph Gordon-Levitt." "Oh, thank you." "Alphonse:" "What's your next role?" "Are you gonna be in that "Hell Cop" movie?" "Uh, no." "It's-- it's-- it's this gritty indie." "I play an NTSF agent with sociopathic tendencies and an inflated ego." "Trent:" "Don't waste your time." "Talkies are a fad, okay?" "Trust me." "Movies aren't gonna be around too much longer." "Alphonse:" "Why don't you use me as your muse?" "I can tell you everything you need to know." "For example, the one thing that every NTSF agent has to remember is that he needs to maintain good posture, because with" " good posture" " No." "No, I disagree." "I think you should be slumped over, you know what I mean?" "Your internal conflict is weighing you down." "Am I a good cop or am I a bad one?" "It's like-- it's like, you've murdered prostitutes in meth-fueled rages..." "but you've also brought them turkey dinners on Thanksgiving... and then had sex with them." "Alphonse:" "I, uh, never thought of it like that." "Yeah, you flip it, man." "Alphonse:" "Get my slump on." "It's beautiful when you change." "Trent:" "You look ridiculous." "Get your slump off." "Piper:" "Kove wants us to review the crime-scene photos." "Whoa, what's that?" "Jessie:" "I'm glad you asked." "I call it "the human camera."" "Did you know the eyeball is the most effective recording device we have, and after death, you can play an eyeball like a DVD?" "Piper:" "I thought scientists disproved that theory." "Jessie:" "Nope." "[ Beep ]" "[ Head whirs ]" "Piper:" "Look at that." "Jessie:" "Pretty cool, isn't it?" "I'm always comin' up with stuff like this." "I think that's the benefit of being friends with me." "Piper:" "Shut up, shut up, shut up." "I meant, look at that." "I think I just found our shooter." "Jessie:" "You mean we did." "Piper:" "Shut up." "Commander Kove, we found the shooter." "Kove:" "Ah, look who it is." "Hey, everyone, you are listening to Under Kover." "I may be NTSF, but I'm still N..." "S..." "F..." "W." "NSFW!" "Kove:" "Let's get right into it." "I'm jealous of you." "That's why I'm always putting you on the dangerous assignments, hoping you get killed." "But that's me." "I'm weird." "You and I have a beef." "Trent:" "Stupid brits." "Place is closed for tea time." "I'm gonna stake it out." "Get comfy." "I'll be around back." "Alphonse:" "Okay." "You want a soda?" "What?" "No!" "What is wrong with you?" "No, I don't want a soda." "You would never drink a soda." "You would drink a coconut water." "Alphonse:" "Yes!" "Thank you." "Sorry." "Don't be sorry." "Be in the moment." "Think." "Trent: [ Scoffs ]" "Never see what people get out of these "movies."" "Escapist hooey, if you ask me." "I'd say I'd disagree." "[ Thud ]" "Piper: [ Voice breaking] I don't know." "I mean, maybe it was..." "my parents' divorce." " Is divorce-- Kove:" " Divorce is the new child abuse." "Piper:" "No, it is!" "Kove:" "Know what else is abusive?" "Buying your stamps at the post office." "With a special offer, you now get your stamps at stampman.biz." "Mention the coupon code "Kove."" "Okay." "Wow!" "This is tough stuff." "Jessie:" "Kove?" "Kove:" "Hey!" "It's the NTSF lab geek, everyone!" "Jessie, come in here and tell us about your childhood." "Jessie:" "I was... the product of a dysfunctional Amish upbringing." "Piper:" "Oh, God." "Kove:" "You're very brave." "[ American accent ] This is bad." "You shouldn't have done this." "[ Crack ]" "[ British accent ] Oh!" "What, are you kidding me?" "No one's ever gonna believe them." "You're Alistair McQueen, Hollywood's hunky golden boy." "Alphonse:" "We got a real Gollum/Smeagol situation popping off here." "Hey, weirdo!" "Why'd you kill all those directors?" "I had to." "I was afraid if they ever finished the film, I'd never work again." "All my non-"Stein" films have been failures-- "Mission to Marge,"" ""Slowly But Surely."" "I don't even want to talk about "Mookie"!" "Trent:" "So how many directors were you gonna kill?" "As many as it took to keep the shoot going." "[ Crack ]" "Ahh." "[ American accent ] Truthfully, I was shocked after the fourth killing that another director signed up for the project." "[ Chuckling ] I mean, you gotta be some kind of idiot." "Trent:" "So not only were you gonna kill Hollywood's best and brightest directors, but you also were gonna kill the" "TV-and-movie business of San Diego." "You are a true terrorist." "[ Crack ]" "[ British accent ] I'm a terrorist?" "I'm a bad gu-- I'm not a bad guy!" "You're a bad guy!" "How have you not seen any of my films?" "What do you talk about with your friends?" "Tell me!" "[ Clang ]" "Trent: [ Groans ]" "[ Crack ]" "[ Groaning ]" "[ American accent ] Alphonse, this is crazy." "I'm terrified." "If you want to stop me, you have got to act." "You have got to embody the role of a good NTSF agent." "Alphonse:" "But how?" "Use the actor's breathing exercise that we worked on to shift free of those rope bindings." "Alphonse: [ Breathing deeply ]" "You can do it." "Good, good." "[ Crack ]" "[ Grunts ]" "[ British accent ] What are you doing?" "!" "Alphonse:" "Uh, nothin'!" "Just movin' around." "I got hemorrhoids." "[ Exhales sharply ]" "[ Crack ]" "[ American accent ] That was excellent!" "What a great cover!" "You used improvisation there!" "We didn't even work on that!" "Okay, now I need you to use your "as-if" and surprise punch me with a left hook." "Come on, do it." "Come on, Alphonse." "You can do it." "Yeah, you got it." "Alphonse:" "Take that, dad!" "[ Both grunt ]" "Okay, my weakness is my knees!" "Take out my knees!" "My weakness!" "My knees!" "[ Both scream ]" "Alphonse, you're doin' a great job." "Okay, now cuff me." "Oh, wait." "No, no, no." "Use the ropes." "It's more dramatic." "Alphonse:" "Yeah, yeah." "You're so in the moment right now!" "I'm so proud of you!" "Alphonse:" "Thank you." "You are under arrest for the murders of the directors of "Stein"!" "[ Panting ]" "End scene!" "[ Crack ]" "[ British accent ] Screw you, man!" "[ Crack ]" "[ American accent ] Thank you." "Why?" "Why me?" "They should have left me for dead." "You are a monster..." "But the monster I love." "Kove:" "Excuse me." "Which way to the campsite?" "It's that way." "Cut!" "[ Bell rings ]" "Trent:" "So, that's a movie?" "[ Scoffs ]" "I'm not impressed." "That guy should be in jail." "Piper:" "Unfortunately, California law clearly states that movie stars can't go to jail until their current projects are in the can." "Alphonse:" "Plus, Kove agreed to keep it on the hush-hush if she could get a walk-on role in the movie, and Alistair agreed to be on her podcast." "I know you guys think he's a bad dude, but he taught me a lot about what it's like to be an NTSF:" "SD:" "SUV: agent." "Trent:" "You are an NTSF:" "SD:" "SUV: agent." "Alphonse:" "I am now." "Kove: [ Laughing ] All right." "Now that we're off the air, I've been meaning to ask, how were you able to act and to shoot the directors at the same time?" "Piper:" "Kove, I forgot to tell you, I figured it out." "Alistair not only has two personalities-- he also has three hands." "It's my blessing... and my curse." "Kove: [ Laughs ]" "[ Laughter ]" "Kove:" "Oh, call them a blessing!" "[ Chuckling ] Yeah!" "Trent:" "Now, that's a movie." "Coming this fall to Adult Swim the highly anticipated TV show based on the graphic-novels-turned- best-selling-novellas-turned motion-picture-turned- miniseries." "Could you ever love someone..." "as hideous as me?" "Yes." "How could you love him?" "He's dead." "He's re-animated." "But I'm un-re-animated." "Want him dead, dead, dead!" "Fire!" "My only weakness!" "[ Groans ]" ""Stein"" " Part two of three."