"My wife." ""Stop seeking and come..."" ""And become!"" ""...the one who is sought."" ""...who is sought."" "It's... clever." "It's our motto." "A nice thought." "It helps, in our work..." "There you have the drawing room." "It's where... they wait, where they meet." "Then the offices:" "My wife's, for the women, and mine, for the men." "And all these pictures?" "Those pictures are our reward." "When they've been married for ten years and lived together ten years, we display them." "Married since '57." "You'll find '53, too..." "We opened in '53." "In '57 there were a lot of them." "A good year." "A good year for everything:" "Wines, ready-to-wear..." "And they all came here to...?" "Yes, they come here and meet in that room." "They look at each other, they hope and dream..." "And then we try..." "It's clean but it's worn." "It came from my parents' home." "It has lots of charm!" "Meet my wife..." "This gentleman's wife." "My wife's hand, please." "She's not for sale." "Thanks, Martine, you can go vacuum the office." "The place is vacuumed every evening." "Now there is the key piece of the business." "Right there..." "The big typewriter?" "It's a computer." "It impresses them, reassures them, and looks modern." "It helps us to match them up, by affinities." "What do you mean by...?" "Affinities?" "It's best to introduce two people who like chocolate." "Liking chocolate..." "that's an affinity." "Maybe a business like this chocolate business... would be hard for us to handle." "You said you were psychologically oriented." "He really is!" "If you only knew how he got around me..." "It's the same here, you have to get around people." "I mean you have to reassure the shy and lonely." "It doesn't sound very honest." "My dear lady, any kind of lie... becomes honest if it cures people of their solitude." "Better to be bugged by someone else than all by yourself." "Thanks a lot!" "It's not a cold..." "It's her coat!" "What's that bus?" "The most profitable part of our organization:" "Our Weekends for Singles." "We're also a travel agency so it's twice as profitable." "How much?" "800 francs per person, 1000 francs in case of marriage." "I meant for the business, computers included." "To be discussed!" "A portfolio of 2000 heads represents a potential... that comes to a lot of money." "But if you're doing so well... why sell?" "I've made money and I want to spend it in the sun." "I suffer in a cold climate." "It must be easy to score, huh?" "What will our biggest problem be at the beginning?" "Not to hurt their feelings." "I'm not a mean guy." "Of course not, but they're expecting to meet" "Alain Delon or Catherine Deneuve." "It's always the other person who doesn't measure up!" "Tonight I'm going to a dance to look after some newcomers." "Care to come along?" "Darling, would you like to go dancing?" "1957!" "Your whistle!" "Get in the van." "I'm sorry." "A remarkable display of indecision..." "You turn red lights green and vice-versa." "All right, let's see what you can do..." "Your whistle!" "Does anyone here have time to make out an accident report?" "I'll do it." "He's 27, fond of his mother... bus-boy in a restaurant, studying to be a policeman... very nice." "Yes, but physically..." "The living image of a good husband." "He doesn't appeal to me, to be perfectly frank." "Beauty... is only skin deep." "He's in the next room, waiting for you." "I know it won't work..." "It's physical." "What do you mean by "my category"?" "Mr. Goldman, as I told you the first time, marriage is no longer a lottery." "Your winning number has been calculated by the computer." "What I want for you is a woman who is your double." "The more you have in common, the less likelihood of conflict." "Your double..." "My double?" "The woman of my life... is not my double!" " I'm sorry!" " Now listen..." "The computer has read out the same ladies 5 times in a row." "It can make mistakes!" "If only it would read out a pretty one just once!" "Pharmacist, doctor... lawyer, traveler, engineer... sportsman..." "Careful!" "Professional men rank highest in adultery." "What this young man offers you is security." "I'll run the risk of adultery, it's not important... if he's handsome." "I'm just not interested." "Sorry." "Not at all." "When can I come by again?" "Come see for yourself." "Don't be afraid." "What did I tell you?" "Look at the names..." "The same ones every time." " Maybe it's broken." " Sorry?" "Maybe it's broken!" "We have it checked out every week." "Someone gentle, sweet, charming..." "that's what you need." "I know pretty ones, they want professional men with money." "I have a profession." "I'm independent." "It's not the same thing..." "Tea?" " It makes me nervous." " It's Chinese tea." "Chinese tea makes me nervous, too." "Hard-working, economical, clean..." "and will live with your mother!" "My mother isn't hard to live with!" "I didn't say she was..." "We have a lot in common?" "When I talk to her, I think I'm talking to you." "Families are formed by people from the same family." "They say mixtures are better for children." "Maybe for them, but not for daily life." "She's not an Israelite?" "My mother would like that..." "Why not?" "Of course..." "Yes... she almost looks Jewish." "Want to meet her here, or at the dance Saturday night?" "Which is best?" "The dance re-creates the element of chance." "We have an office there in case there's a problem." "What kind of problem?" "Do you have much sexual experience?" "How much is much?" "Do you have sexual relations..." "regularly?" "If I did have, I wouldn't be here." "You can make up for lost time." "What now?" "Miss Marechal cancelled again." "What a ball-breaker!" "Can't make up her mind." "Is Miss Marechal pretty?" "She has charm, but..." " Charm?" " She's a ball-breaker!" "Why isn't she in the computer?" "What would you do with a ball-breaker?" "A ball-breaker with charm..." "could be charming." "Your wife is a woman who'd be your friend if she were a man." "Could you repeat that slowly?" "What I said, my dear Mr. Goldman..." "Why do you keep calling me Goldman?" " It's your name." " I know it." "How should I address you?" "Sir." "Very well, my dear sir... your wife is a woman who'd be your friend if she were a man." "Then in other words:" "Take what you can get..." "You've just taken a giant step towards wisdom." "Sure..." "Towards boredom!" "That's not fair, you've never met her!" "True, but I can say I don't find her attractive." "Never trust amateur photos!" "Then insist on professional ones!" "Are you handsome?" "No, sir!" "But I didn't give you a picture." "46 years old, a schoolteacher..." "As a kid, I was in love with my schoolteacher." "Here's a chance to make that dream come true." "My dream was worth dreaming about." "You know you're impossible to satisfy?" "When I leave, you'll call me a ball-breaker!" "I know I am..." "but you only live once!" "If you live well, it's enough!" "What about the teacher?" "The ads are always misleading!" "You've said that before..." "Do you like the teacher?" " And she loves children." " I haven't any!" "Life's race can be won in the last lap... 48 is the next-to-last lap!" "The next-to next-to-last!" "So you'll be at the dance Saturday night?" "Is she Jewish?" "Probably." "Isn't everyone?" "You'd have been a fantastic slave-trader!" "If you say so..." "I'll call her to see if she's free, while you..." "Don't touch me!" "Go into the waiting-room while I call." "If she's free, then you'll meet Saturday night." "The waiting-room?" "To wait..." "Why?" "So I can find out if she's free!" "You'll let me know?" "I'll let you know." " The picture?" " Keep it." "Get used to her." "You keep it so you know who she is." "That's right..." "you just relax and wait quietly." " I'll be right back." " Don't forget!" "I couldn't." "Anyone taking care of you?" "Have a seat, Mr. Salem." "Someone will be right with you." "Excuse my indiscretion, sir, but where are you from?" "I'm from Egypt." "You may stay." "Mr. Villiers, please." "The young lady can't meet you today, she's sick." " Is it serious?" " I don't know." "Come, I'll show you someone else." "What is it?" "I forgot my scarf... there." "Go get it." "Perhaps I could... bring her flowers and wait till she's well." "Too bad..." "I really got used to the picture." "Never gamble with health, Mr. Villiers." "Now for the surprise..." "I chose her especially for you." "She's new." "I haven't presented her to anyone." "She isn't a little cross-eyed?" "May I?" "Now she's not cross-eyed." "It's only lying down that she's cross-eyed." "You're a policeman, aren't you?" "Not yet..." "I'm still taking the exams." "You could say I'm a student..." "A little louder, please." "I said you could say I'm a student." "A student policeman." "How old is she?" "Never ask a lady her age." "9 PM Saturday night." "Don't forget." "May I ask what she does for a living?" "She works at the Pasteur Institute." "As switchboard operator!" "Even so, they can't have just anyone on their switchboard." "You're right." "Goodbye and good luck!" "On Saturday night..." "Your turn, Mr. Salem?" "I always see your husband." "Let's not break a good habit." "Mr. Goldman?" "I'm being taken care of... slowly." "Come and see..." "He's likeable." " Very much." " "Very much..."" "It's not easy to catch a bus and a cab at the same time." "You have to choose..." "I like taxis." " You like them?" " Very much." "Me, too." "One went by but he missed it." "Mr. Salem, I'm seeing you." "My husband's very busy." "It doesn't matter." "Maybe you have better taste." "I don't choose." "It's my computer." "Maybe your computer has better taste." "All set!" "She'll be there Saturday night." "The address is on the back of the photo." "Excuse me, but when I see her for the first time... what do I say to her?" "You say: "Good evening, Miss, I think we have a date."" " The password..." " That's it, the password." ""Good evening, Miss, I think we have a date."" "Very easy." "9 o'clock sharp, don't be late." "9 o'clock." "It's at your own risk, you chose her." "I'll take the responsibility." "And thank you for your..." "You've been..." "See you Saturday." "Would that young lady be free on Saturday night?" "Our accountant is a wife and mother." "I wouldn't want to cause trouble." "I know." "Goodbye." ""Good evening, Miss, I think we have a date."" "You've got it, don't lose it." "See you Saturday at 9 o'clock." "Sir, you're having difficulty..." "Permit me to offer the use of my car." "That's nice of you." "No, in the back." "I'm a taxi!" "The other side..." "I'm sorry, I prefer this side, it's safer." "Where to?" "The Flea Market, March, Biron." "Sorry?" "The Flea Market, March, Biron." "Does rain bother you?" "Because the weather's changing." "Know why?" "Conjunction of two triangles:" "Azores and Bermuda." "I'm rarely wrong." "My left thumb began hurting this morning." "When it's my right elbow, it has to be the Gulf Stream." "Flea Market?" "March, Biron..." "I got it." "DON'T SLAM THE DOORS THANK YOU" "NO SMOKING, PLEASE" "RELAX AND READ" "IT'S SAFER NOT TO TALK TO ME" ""Good evening, Miss..."" ""I think we have a date."" "Did you see Taxi Driver?" "What is it?" "A musical comedy about New York cab drivers." "I didn't see it." "They all have yellow cabs... like mine." "Their horns won't help!" "He has a hard job." "What does that mean:" ""Tea 1,50 and coffee 1 franc"?" "It means that's what they cost." "Here in the taxi?" "Here in the taxi." "Tea, please." "Coffee..." "You're right." "A traffic jam is the ideal place to have coffee." "Colombia." "China." "We finally made it..." "and it's a nice day." "How much do I owe you?" "55 francs on the meter, 55 it is." "It was a real traffic jam, you saw it." "But the coffee's on me, so we split the difference." "Glad to have been of service." "The fox trot is a contact dance." "So make contact, please." "And now you are going to lead me." "Then pick a lady!" "No, that's not it..." "I'd rather have private lessons." "A little louder, please." "Could I have private lessons?" ""Good evening, Miss, I think we have a date"" "You really have to say that?" "It sounds pompous." "It's the password!" "The man said it was the password!" "You're the perfect pigeon." "Horoscopes..." "Fortune-tellers..." "Newspaper ads..." "You believe them all." "All but me." "Where'd you meet her?" "At the Pasteur Institute." "You were sick?" "I went with a friend... who had rabies." "What did you say?" "He was bitten by a mad dog." "He thought he had rabies." "There was this nurse and I spoke to her." "You spoke to a nurse at the Pasteur Institute?" "I even invited her to a dance." "Not at the Institute, at a ballroom, next Saturday." "You know how to dance now?" "A nurse at an institute..." "Pasteur Institute." "Who taught you to speak to strange ladies?" "Itjust happened... naturally." "Naturally!" "You know you catch diseases talking to just anyone?" "You said Papa knew how to talk to ladies." "You father was discreet and reserved." "Every time you talk about him... he sounds different." "Respect his memory." "He was a man of many faces." "That's for sure..." "What's your weak point?" "She's so beautiful." "I think I'm too shy." "Can you explain the contradiction:" "Being shy... and being an actress?" "You can hide behind someone else's words." "So you feel more at ease." "That's why so many actors are shy." "It's part of the explanation." "Beautiful eyes..." "Do you intimidate people?" "Are you talking to me?" "Michele Morgan, when your movies are on TV how do you react?" "That intimidates me!" "If you marry, who'll cook you couscous?" "You'll teach her." "Why'd you quit the accounting courses?" "The night-school principal wrote me." "I'm no good at figures." "Want to die a cab driver, like your father?" "I don't have a head for figures." "I don't have a head for business!" "The only Jew in the world who can say that... has to be my son." "That's an anti-Semitic remark." "Do all Jews have a head for business?" "That's right." "All except my son!" "Like your brother Albert?" "And Ren, and Joseph?" "Some businessmen... borrowing from us every month." "Is she Jewish, at least?" "Jewish, and successful?" "Like you..." "Like me." "What does that mean?" "It means you're a janitress and I'm a cab driver." "I'm not a janitress!" "I'm the custodian of a de luxe building!" "Sure, you're the building secretary." "A secretary de luxe." "And I'm a cab driver de luxe." "We're both de luxe!" "Why didn't she come?" "I'm sorry..." "you took the risk." "I'm on a forfeit!" "One lost, ten found..." "I don't wan ten, I want one... her!" "Do you remember what to say?" "Good..." "What time is it?" "Nearly 2 o'clock." "She's just late." " Do I have a chance?" " One chance." " That'll do!" " Go and dance." " Only with her!" " Relax, she's coming." "Only with her!" "She's pretty..." "But she's not here." "She'll be here." "Nice atmosphere." "There were too many people." "Maybe that's why we didn't see them." "These organized encounters in public... they don't work." "Next time I'll meet her in their drawing room." "It's more personal." "Maybe you saw mine... and maybe I saw yours." "Or maybe vice-versa!" "You didn't see..." "someone who looked like her?" "No, I didn't." " You didn't see..." " The wheel!" "Don't worry, I can even drive with my feet." "I prefer mine." "Never trust amateur photos." "This way, we can be good friends." "Mama's asleep." "We'll stay in here." "I'll make coffee." "Decaf!" "Excuse me, I left you in the dark." "You have a nice place." "My mother's mother did it all." "Do you have a large family?" "Yes, there are two of us." "Us, too!" "Find yourself a place..." "Wherever you like." "I'll go make the coffee." "Decaf!" "Decaf!" "We don't have any." "We have real coffee." "Thanks..." "Decaf?" "No, it's this one." "I'll get Mama's home-made cookies." " You drank it without sugar?" " Yes..." "I'm on a diet." "You're not very fat." "I gain weight easily." "You called me?" "I'd like you to meet..." "Robert Goldman." "The nurse from the Pasteur Institute." "Your name's Robert?" "My name's Robert, too, Robert Villiers." "That's it..." "Robert and Robert!" "Which do you want to learn?" "Formula 1 or Model T?" "Which is better?" "If you're not afraid to die" "Formula 1 is profoundly satisfying." "I'm afraid to die." "You don't want to take risks!" "No one wants to any more!" "Take the Model T." "I don't want to die." "Stick to the Model T!" "I guess I could try Formula 1..." "One time?" "One time." "What do you think of my Formula 1?" "I think I'd prefer... the other one." "The Model T?" "You disappoint me." "All right, the Model T..." "if I remember how." "A highway at night, heavy traffic, fog, glare-ice and rain." "Your car stalls." "What do you do?" "Glare-ice means snow, not rain." "It's raining, you don't have snow tires and you forgot to put in anti-freeze." " I'm sorry." " Don't be." "Mama, I tell you he passed the test!" "Yes, on his first try!" "He's coming, I have to hang up." "Want some herb tea?" "I'd prefer something stronger." "Henri, a Martini." "Was he rough on you?" " She..." " What?" "It was a lady." "They're the toughest!" "Let's not lose any time." "Come on, I have things to tell you." "My dear Robert, there are 5747 streets in Paris." "You can't learn them all by heart..." "It's a big day." "We're going to say "tu" to each other!" "If you like..." "We say "tu"?" "You can't learn them all by heart." "No Paris cab driver has, and they're the world's best!" "You understand?" "Sorry..." "I meant to say "tu"." "To know the streets of Paris, there's a gimmick..." "What's the gimmick?" "The Eiffel Tower!" "It's our St Bernard, you might say." "Sorry..." "I meant to say "tu"." "What was I saying?" "The Eiffel Tower is a St Bernard..." "Our St Bernard dog!" "All Paris streets are north or south or west or east of our St Bernard." "You mean the Eiffel Tower?" "You may drink your Martini!" "She adores young people." "Mama, this is the Robert I've told you about." "Welcome." "You have a very nice place." "Mama decorated it herself." "It's all right..." "Papa's taxi." "And now for the surprise I promised you..." "We'll be right back, make some herb tea." "Maybe something... stronger?" "Stronger?" "Make his double-strength!" "We'll be right back." "Papa's taxi... in the flesh." "300,000 kilometers without a repairjob." "My first taxi." "A Renault, even then." "Try it out." "You have your license, try it." "Rue Pasteur, out in Courbevoie." "From the Eiffel Tower, would that be north or south?" "You don't know..." "Mrs Goldman, please." "First door, right." "This is it." "Mrs Goldman?" "That's right." "I'm Mrs Villiers." "Your son is a very nice boy." "My husband." "My son hasn't been home for two months." "It's not like him." "He's become my son's partner." "He drives nights, my son drives days:" "It pays off." "My son is used to sleeping nights, and not with a man." "What are you insinuating?" "Exactly what you understood." "And I wanted my son to be more than just a cab driver." "It's a dive." "It can't be a dive..." "The man I drove here yesterday was very respectable." "It can't be a dive." "It's just the faade." "Password?" "Oh, shit!" "Sir..." "Madam..." "Is this your first time here?" " Yes, sir." " Yes, ma'am." "Go downstairs." "Follow the arrows." "Password?" "Shit." "What about the arrows?" "Follow them..." "Downstairs." "Courage!" "I think it's a man." "No, it's a woman... with arrows." "You bug me, Robert!" "All ready for our Weekend for singles?" "It's organized so you won't be single any more!" "But what do I see?" "Women on one side and men on the other?" "You can do better than that!" "I want to see a man, a woman..." "Madam, please stand up." "And you, with the uniform!" "Come on." "Choose your partner, that's better..." "Seek and ye shall find." "Let fate choose for you." "That goes for you two latecomers, too." "Mr. Goldman and Mr. Villiers, separate." "Seek your ladies fair." "A man, a woman..." "The wheel turns, let fate decide!" "We won't leave Paris till I see a man, a woman..." "Come on, Mr. Goldman, you're always late." "Mr. Villiers, hurry up!" "Choose your partners..." "We'll soon be able to leave Paris." "No room." "Sure there is, right back there." "Perfect!" "We can now leave Paris." "The right side is now a man, a woman." "You let fate decide, you trusted in fate and fate has rewarded you." "Who's next to you?" "A pretty lady, a nice man..." "We're off on a pleasant trip, to have a good time!" "The sun's coming up and we're off to Waterloo." "This class isn't ready for graduation!" "Doing all right?" "Louder, please?" "What branch are you in?" "Air Force." "That's nor Air Force." " Engineers." " That's better." "I'm from Egypt." "Funny, you don't look Egyptian." "It's my accent." "Can you tell me what's going to happen to us?" "We'll be in good hands..." "so to speak." "Bless you." "Sorry?" " Bless you." " What are you saying?" ""Tu"!" "Oh, it's you..." ""Travel forms youth," they say." "I say it forms couples!" "Right, sir?" "All going well, we'll sleep at Waterloo tonight." "Waterloo is called the Mournful Plain..." "Tonight, you're going to make it the joyful plain!" "I ask you not to hide what you are." "Show who you are, and the best you have in you." "Throw caution to the wind." "Prove I wasn't wrong about you." "Do, in 48 hours... what you've never dared to do before." "We're getting to Belgium, so here's a Belgian joke!" "What does the sign say at the top of Belgian ladders?" "Do you know?" "STOP!" "That's what the sign says." "He doesn't get it." "Why do all Belgians, including King Baudouin... stuff cotton in their ears?" "You don't know?" "Because they're tired of hearing Belgian jokes!" "Soldiers, I'm pleased." "I'm very pleased with you." "I'm going to reward you for your bravery under fire." "You-know-who created the Legion of Honor." "I have invented the keys..." "the keys to happiness!" "The keys to your rooms." "Now an innocent hand, the historic hat... the list, the keys..." "Everyone ready?" "Let fate choose!" "Number 50 is Miss Zorca..." "Didn't read that in the cards, did you?" "Now who has room number 51?" "Mr. Elie!" "Fate chooses well, you're face-to-face." "Number 30 is Mr. Ali Salem!" " Long live Algeria!" " Egypt!" "Of course!" "And who has number 31?" "Miss Arlette, that's who!" "Number 8?" "Why, it's the old soldier himself..." "The old soldier, Mr. Bellin, has number 8." "Napoleon always tweaked their ears." "And who has number 9?" "Miss Susan!" "Who has number 16?" "Mr. Michaud..." "Paired off with Miss Josette!" "Who has 26?" "Miss Colette..." "Who has 27?" "Look around you, to the right." "Mr. Goldman has number 27!" "Congratulations, Mr. Goldman!" "No, thank you..." "Please understand." "Hands off!" "Who has number 18?" "Miss Patricia... who looks strangely like Maria Waleska." "I kiss her hand, an historic moment!" "Picture!" "Who is chosen for a Polish night, a night of folly?" "A cold night, a hot night!" "Fate's wheel turns..." "Number 19 is Mr. Villiers, fate has chosen you!" "Mr. Villiers will spend the night with Maria Waleska!" "We're not buying you a private harem!" "Papa's money is for business, not your pleasure!" "He didn't break his ass for you!" "Get out!" "Is your room nice?" "Come see, if you want." "I've been thinking." "The lady he introduced you to is very nice." "I don't feel like going..." "I don't dare." "You must go, you must dare." "You're impossible!" "Together again!" "Come on, now." "Dare to dare!" "Don't touch me!" "Miss Colette's waiting, 2nd door on the left." "What number?" "Thirty!" "It's there..." "He's waiting." "He's nice." "I'm sorry." "I'm very tired tonight..." "Don't count on me." "Go in or you'll catch cold." "They're all right." "I'm getting angry." "That's the door!" "Right in front of you." "Knock!" "Dare to dare, Mr. Goldman!" "Good evening, Miss, I think we have a date." "I'm sorry, Madam, but it's a question of distance left to go." "I'm not in the last lap," "I'm in the next-to next-to-last lap." "My friends, we'll soon be in Paris, so I want to announce the good news, the happy tidings." "The great success of this Weekend for singles... is Ali Salem!" "That's me!" "He's going to marry Arlette Poirier." "They're marrying each other!" "Everybody's invited!" "Since he has no family, they invite you all to their wedding." "He'll have big problems with her." " Why?" " It seems that... she's sick; they refused to introduce me." "Sick with what?" "Just sick." "Women on one side, men on the other, a real success!" "Taking quantity over quality always leads to disaster." "Look." "What is it?" "I copied it." "Listen:" ""A list of men who were very homely, very poor," ""who became very rich, very handsome," ""very famous, and were idolized by women."" "Why give it to me?" "Because whenever I'm down..." "I look at it and it helps me." "I think this trip... has gotten you down, so look at it." "Try it." "Yes, it does help." "So you think we still have a little chance?" "Especially you." "In comparison with that one, or that one... you've got a head start." "Laurel and Hardy... make me laugh." "They make you laugh?" "They're funny." "They're not even the most significant ones." "Take Charles Aznavour..." "No, wait!" "Here's a really significant one:" "Sammy Davis, Junior." "Well, he isn't... white;" "he isn't handsome, he only has one eye;" "and he's Jewish." "Just compare yourself to him!" "You have a real head start." "So you should smile." "Smile." "Smile, Robert." "Why don't you smile?" "Life really is beautiful, Robert." "Thank you very much." "You are my family." "I especially thank Mrs Goldman for her couscous." "Just like back home!" "I also thank Mrs Villiers for her good cake!" "I also want to thank... my wife, for the good couscous she's going to cook for me." "Why is there a sign saying STOP at the top of Belgian jokes?" "Ladders..." "Why is STOP on top ofjokes..." "On top of Belgian ladders!" "I told it badly." "Maybe I can tell the one Mr. Miller told." "The one about cotton?" "He told it in the bus." "Why do all Belgians put cotton in their ears?" "Even the king, King..." "Albert!" "Even King Baudouin puts cotton in his ears." "Because they're sick of hearing Belgian jokes!" "And now Mr. Villiers." "A song!" "A song, a song..." "Excuse me, I don't know any songs." "I don't know any jokes either but I'll tell you a story about a guy... who comes into a matrimonial agency." "Excuse me for... excusing myself." "I beg your pardon..." "No, I'm not begging!" "I came here for... because..." "Care for some Chinese tea?" "Could you speak a little louder?" "What brings you here?" "I don't want to be alone any more." "Could you be more explicit?" "Well, I'd like there to be two of us." "I take the cards." "I shuffle them." "And here's the woman the computer chose for you." "She's not... very pretty." "Mr. Villiers, this is an amateur photo, not a professional one." " What's the difference?" " The price!" "And never forget, Mr. Villiers, your wife is a woman who'd be your friend" " if she were..." "...a man." "Encore!" "Encore!" "Good day, sir." "Excuse me..." "for excusing myself." "I said:" "Excuse me for excusing myself." "Speak louder!" "Isn't she a little cross-eyed?" "No, not any more." "So I said: "Madame Zorca, you made a mistake."" "She said: "Everyone makes mistakes, except people who do nothing."" "At Waterloo, the umpires cost us the Empire." "How long did it take you to make good?" "Between the wedding and the show at the Olympia... it was about 9 months." "You're married?" "No, it was Ali's wedding, a friend of mine." "That wedding revealed your comic talents?" "I've always made people laugh." "Only, I thought they were making fun of me... even at school." "The kids laughed at me because I was sort of fat." "What's the fine line between mockery and comedy?" "Pushing a situation to extremes..." "exaggeration." "And so, thanks to your failings you now earn a lot of money." "You'll have to ask the gentleman with the cigar." "I understand he's quite reticent." "Is he your manager?" "He has a very good head for figures." "And now for the tricky questions..." "What is most important in your life?" "Madam..." "What a question!" "There are so many things..." "I'd prefer some other question... if you have one." "All right, that's allowed." "What's your new sketch?" "Film by Bergman..." "You see all Bergman's movies?" "But I'm going to go see one." "Were you surprised when I invited you to lunch?" "Yes." "And I want to thank you." "A tomato?" "Do you like long hair, or short?" "I don't like my hair to be too long because..." "Not your hair, a woman's!" "A woman's hair?" "Sort of long..." "like yours." "What do you expect from a woman?" "What do you expect from a woman?" "Everything... almost." "Too much?" "No doubt..." "Do you like me?" "Think hard!" "I don't have to think about it." "Enough for us to meet again?" "Two coffees?" "Wouldn't you like a cigar?" "Yes, I would." "A small one." "Nice bistro..." "I'd like it for my dining-room." "I can't stand ordinary dining-rooms!" "Would you like a bistro at home?" "I don't really know." "You're my guest." "Agathe, do you take for lawful husband Robert here present?" "Sorry we're late." "But the brakes gave out!" "The taxi is my wedding present to you." "The cap..." "Agathe, do you take for lawful husband, Robert here present?" "Yes." "Robert, do you take for lawful wife, Agathe here present?" "Yes!" "That was for you." "It's the doorbell." "At 6 in the morning?" "I tell you it's the doorbell." "I'll find out..." "You need that?" "These days... yes." "What's the matter?" "Agathe interviewed a painter." "And so?" "And so she's taken up painting." "Want a drink?" "Make yourself at home." "A painter?" "Don't catch cold." "You've been together long?" "Later I'll tell you what I've been thinking about." "I'll tell you about it at home." "About what?" "You're funny, and I have ideas." "I saw it!" "What did you see?" "You're going to become famous." "I saw it!" "I didn't see a thing." "Now that we're a man and his woman... or a woman and her man, we'll sing" "A Man and a Woman" "And my husband will sing it in Arabic!" "Care to dance?" "Good evening, Miss, I think we have a date." "Why not?" "I was never a nurse at the Pasteur Institute." "I never bake cookies." "Isn't it too late for me to try your agency?" "The best years of our lives are those we haven't lived yet." "I don't know..." "I dreamed it." "It's so good to laugh." "You're a hit." "Did you hear that?" "He said he was a hit!" "Thank you, Mr. Coquatrix." "Subtitling by TVS" " TITRA FILMM"