"When the value of the x coordinate is equal to or less than the value of..." " Yes, Isaac?" " What about that problem?" "Why?" "I just put that up there as a joke." "That's probably the hardest geometry equation in the world" "How much extra credit is it worth?" "Well, I've never seen anyone get it right including my mentor, Dr. Leaky at MIT." "I guess if anyone here can solve that problem" "I'd see to it that none of you ever have to open another math book again for the rest of your lives." "Max ?" "You want to try it ?" "I'm sorry." "Did someone say my name?" "You got it" "You guys have it real easy." "I never had it like this where I grew up" "But I send my kids here." "Because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country" "Rushmore" "Now, for some of you it doesn't matter." "You were born rich, and you're going to stay rich" "But here's my advice to the rest of you" "Take dead aim on the rich boys." "Get them in the crosshairs" "And take them down" "Just remember." "They can buy anything." "But they can't buy backbone." "Don't let them forget that." "Thank you." "Are you free for graduation, Herman?" "Maybe you could give us an encore." "I don't give a shit." "I paid for the whole damn natatorium." "The least these little pricks can do is hear me out." "Hello, I'm Max Fischer." "I just wanted to tell you I strongly agree with your views concerning Rushmore." "Your speech was excellent" "This is my chapel partner, Dirk Calloway" "I really think you're right about Rushmore." " What's his name again?" " Max Fisher" "He's a sharp little guy" "He's one of the worst students we've got" "We're putting you on what we call sudden death academic probation" "And what does that entail?" "It entails that if you fail another class you are going to be asked to leave Rushmore." " In other words, I'll be expelled." " That's correct" "Can I see some documentation?" "Too Many extra curricular activities, Max" "I don't want to tell you how to do your job But the fact is no matter how hard I try, I still might flunkanother class" "And if that means I have to stay on for a post-graduate year, then so be it." "We don't offer a post-graduate year." " We don't offer it yet." " Just bring up the grades" "Do you remember how I got into this school?" "Yes, you wrote a play" "That's right." "Second grade." "A little one act about Watergate" "And my mother read it and felt I should go to Rushmore." "You read it and you gave me a scholarship, didn't you ?" " Do you regret it?" " No, I don't regret it" "But I still might have to expel you" "Couldn't we just let me float by?" "For old times' sake?" "I can't do it, Max." " They want to kick me out" " Oh, no." "Not again." "What are you going to do?" "The only thing I can do." "Try and pull some strings with the administration" " Did you hear they're teaching Japanese next year?" " That's the rumor" " And they're canceling Latin." " What?" "I tried to get Latin canceled for five years "It's a dead language", I'd always say" "Well, I guess they finally heard you." "Excuse me!" "Could I see a list of all the people who've checked out this book in the past year?" "Look at that" "I have seen wicked men and fools, a great many of both and I believe they both get paid in the end" "But the fools first" "Chapter fifteen:" "The Lad with the Silver Button" " Meet me on the corner in 10 minutes" " Where are you goin'?" "Excellent!" "That's was Excellent!" "I told Mr. Calloway the other day how fortunate we are to have someone like you looking out for Dirk." "I'm just trying to impart some of the experiences I've accrued to help him." "This has my number on it" " Hello, Dirk?" " Hi, mom!" " How'd the math test go?" " What math test?" " No." "Did you turn in your paper on the Berlin Airlift?" " Yeah, I got an extension." " So how did it go with Mrs. Calloway?" " We shook hands" " Big Deal!" " And I gave her my phone number" " Buchan said he'd have already banged her by now" " What?" "That's my best friend's mother he's talking about" "I thought that's why you picked Dirk as your chapel partner." "What are you, a lawyer?" "It's Max Fisher." " Oh, hi!" "..." "What's the secret, Max?" " The secret?" "Yeah." "You seem to have it pretty figured out" "I don't know." "I think you just gotta find something you love to do, then do it for the rest of your life" "For me, it's going to Rushmore" "Did you invite that kid to your party?" " Max Fisher?" " There's gonna be girls there." "I'd rather die" " Pull your head out of your ass" "Do vidjenja." "Bog, Max." "Vidimo se sutra." "May I see the back, please?" " That's it" " Thank, you" "I need a signature on this geometry test" "I know... 37%." "I don't know what to do anymore" "It could have been worse." "You almost got the A" "Maybe I'm spending too much of my time starting up clubs and putting on plays" "That's possible" "I should probably be trying harder to score chicks." "That's the only thing anybody really cares about." "Butit's not my forte, unfortunately." "It'll happen, Max." "It's just..." "You're like one of those clipper ship captains You're married to the sea" "Yes, that's true" "But I've been out to sea for a long time" "Hello?" " Hi" " I like your hat" " Oh, thank you" "You're a teacher here, aren't you?" " And this is your first year at Rushmore" " Uh-huh" "How long have you been a smoker, if you don't mind me asking?" " How old are you?" " 15" " Since I was your age" " You're kidding" " You should quit" " You're right" "And I should mind my own business" " Where'd you go to school, by the way?" " Harvard" "Really?" "That's a coincidence." "My top schools where I want to apply to are Oxford and The Sorbonne.But my safety is Harvard" " That's very ambitious." " Thank you" "What do you want to study?" "I haven't decided for sure." "But probably a double major in Mathematics and Pre-Med" "What was your major?" "I didn't have a major." "But my thesis was on Latin American Economic policy" "Ah, that's interesting." "Did you hear they're not going to teach Latin here anymore?" "This was more like Central America" "Oh, Central America and whatnot" "But moving on, they're gonna cancel Latin." "They've got to make room for Japanese" "That's a shame because all the Romance Languages are based on Latin" " Yeah, they are" " Nihilo sanctum estne?" "What's that?" "That's Latin, isn't it?" "What does that mean?" "Is nothing sacred?" "Sic transit gloria :" "Glory fades I'm Max Fischer" "Sign here, please" "In summation, I have only one question :" "Is Latin dead?" " Radje ti prekini radit' sranja." " Is that Latin?" "Never in my wildest imagination did I ever dream I would have sons like this" "What does your dad do, Max" "He's a neurosurgeon at St. Joseph's Hospital." "Personally, I could never see myself cutting open somebody's brain." "But he seems to enjoy it" "Oh, no!" "I got this one" " You were in Vietnam, if I'm not mistaken?" " Yeah" " You were in the shit?" " Yeah, I was in the shit" "What's on Sunday?" "Oh, that's right." "The Twin's birthday party" "Do you wanna come?" "I'd love to." "Except I've already got previous occupations to attend to." "Thanks for the invitation, though" " Come work for me" " What do you mean?" "I mean, I could use someone like you" "I may not be rich, Mr. Blume And my father may only be a doctor But we manage 112th" "Excuse me, Mr. Blume Nice talking to you" "You're on the team?" "I'm an alternate" "Miss Cross?" "I thought I would just let you know as per our conversation the other day..." " Latin?" " Right." "The Romance Languages." "I gave a little speech" " I heard about this" " You did?" "I understand you made a very convincing argument." "I thought you'd be pleased to hear they're going to continue the Latin program." " I'm very impressed" " Thank you very much" " You need an assistant?" " Do we get to have assistants around here?" "I doubt it." "I'm on scholarship, though." "Academic scholarship." "So I get to do odd jobs." " How did you decide to teach at Rushmore?" " My husband went here." "I didn't know you were married." "Well, he's dead now." "So I'm not actually" " When did he die?" " Last year" " My mother's dead" " I'm sorry to hear that" "She died when I was seven." "So we both have dead people in our families." "Now what's going on in here?" "These were just born" "I don't want any alloys." "I want steel." "I don't give a rat's ass if he did" "Steel, Harry" " You change your mind?" "You want the job?" " No." "But I've got an idea." "And need some money" "Rushmore deserves an aquarium." "A first class aquarium where scientists can lecture and students canobserve marine life in its natural " " I don't know." "What do you think, Ernie" " Aquarium?" " What kind of fish?" " Barracudas." "Stingrays." "Hammerheads." "Piranhas..." " Piranhas?" "Really?" " Yes, I'm talking to a guy in South America." " What did Guggenheim say?" " Nothing." "I thought I should go to you first" "Because at this moment I feel our best strategy is to keep a low profile." "The more preparation I can do, the stronger our case will be when we take it to the administration." " How much money do you want?" " $35.000 for the initial plans" " I'll give you $2500" " O.K." " Thank you" " You're welcome" "Max?" " Can I ask you something?" " Sure" "Has it ever crossed your mind that you're way too young for me?" "It's crossed by mind that you might consider that a possibility, yes." "Not to mention you're a student..." "I'm not trying to pressure you into anything, Miss Cross." "I'm surprised you brought it up so bluntly." "I just want to make sure..." " We've become friends, haven't we?" " Yes" "And the truth is neither one of us has the slightest idea where this relationships is going." "We can'tpredict the future." " We don't have a relationship, Max" " But we're friends" " Yes." "And that's all we're going to be" " That's what I meant by relationship." "You want me to graba dictionary?" " I just want to make sure we understand each other" " I understand." "You're not attracted to me" "C'est la vie." " Max." "You're fifteen." "Attraction doesn't enter into it" " If you say so" "All I'm getting is..." "I've never met anyone like you" "You can take that for whatever it's worth" "I think I can safely say I've never met anyone like you, either" "You haven't, have you?" "You want to shake hands?" " I'm glad we had this conversation" " So am I" "I can't wear a wire!" "They're feeling me up every day!" "Oh, Come on." "You'll have complete protection" "I've heard that one before I got to go put a dime in the meter" "Joe, put a dime in the meter for officer Serpico" " If you agree to testify in open court..." " No!" " No what?" " No, I'm not gonna testify" "I expect your gun and badge on my desk" "Promise me one thing, O'Reilly." "You're going to follow this all the way to the end of the line, where Igot to be." "So help me, God!" "What happened to the cannoli line?" "You're supposed to say "Forget about it, Sanchez"" "I made a mistake, all right?" "It doesn't make any difference, anyway" "Hey, I'm letting it go." "But don't tell me it doesn't matter." "Every line matters." " Get off my back!" " Don't fuck with my play!" "Max!" " I thought the acting tonight was excellent" " Thanks." "Well, it was better in rehersals" "I'll catch up with you later, Dad I've got a dinner to go to" " Oh, yeah?" " Yeah, cast and crew only" " You need some money?" " No, Dad" " Max, that was great!" " I'm so glad you could come" "I want you to meet a friend of mine Peter Flynn." "Max Fischer" " Who's this guy?" " Peter" "I really liked your play It was really cool" "What happened to your nose?" "I got punched in the place" "What's your excuse?" "Hey, arthur!" " How you doing?" " Nice job" " Am I going to get to meet your dad tonight, Max?" " Oh, no." "The old man's on call" "Mr. Blume, I'd like you to meet Miss Cross and I didn't catch this young gentleman's name" " I like your nurse's uniform, guy" " These are OR scrubs" "OR they?" " Well, they're totally inappropriate for the occasion" " Well, I didn't know we were going to dinner" " That's because you weren't invited" " Take it easy, Max" "You're the one who ordered him a Scotch and soda" "What's wrong with that?" "I can write a hit play" "Why can't I have a drink when I want myself?" " So tell me, Curly." "How do you know Miss Cross?" " We went to Harvard together" "And I wrote a hit play." "And directed it So I'm not sweating it, either" " What do you think you're doing?" " I'm getting the check" "No, you're not." "Excuse me." "I just wanted to thank you again for accommodating us." "We only expected to be a party of three, but somebody invited himself along." "I apologize." " Quite all right" " OK" " You're being rude, Max." " No, I'm not" "I'm just trying to figure out why you brought this gentleman to my play And my dinner, which wasinvitation only" " Would you like me to pass you the butter?" " Yes, please" " What's wrong with you?" " What's wrong with you?" "You hurt my feelings This night was important to me" " How did I hurt your feelings?" " Oh, my god!" "I wrote a hit play" "And I'm in love with you" " Hi" " Were you hiding over there?" "Didn't wanna distrupt class" " What's that you're painting?" " That's a jelly fish" " What can I do for you, Mr. Blume?" " Max wants to talk to you" " What for?" " To apologize, I think" "We should talk over here" " He sent you here?" " Yeah" " Are you his messenger?" " No." "I'm his friend" "You were right I shouldn't have allow him to drink" "I don't think I should see Max anymore" " He's not going to like the sound of that" "I know." "But I think I let him get too attached" " What do you think?" " Oh, I think you your did the best" "Tell him I'm sorry" "What's your first name?" " Rosemary." "What's yours?" " Herman" "He wrote you a letter." "Dear Miss Cross, I would like to take this opportunity to formly apologize for the events of night of the23th" "I am not accustomed to drinking alcohol." "Please do me the service of coming to the unveiling of a new venture I have undertaken" "I hope you will attend, if possible." "I remain your friend, Max Fisher." " Cut the music" " What time is it?" " 1:15" " Did you see her?" " She's not here" "Go check the classroom" " Should we go ahead and take care of this tree?" " Let's wait a few minutes" " What's going on here, Maxie?" " Beck, good to see you" "This is where they're building the new aquarium I'm in charge of the committee, if you can believe it" " This is the baseball diamond" " I believe it's being relocated a few feet over" "Is it true the aquarium will have piranhas?" " Where'd you hear that?" " My source indicated that it was a possibility" " Yes, it's true but promises are very tricky" " Max" " Bad news" " What's the story?" " She has a substitute teacher today" " Why?" " I guess she got sick" " You know she's not sick." "Give me the phone" "Janet!" "Max Fischer." "Is Blume there?" "Oh, where is he?" "Goddammit, he's supposed to be here" "I don't give a shit about barracudas But fuck it." "I'm building it anyway" "Max!" " Hello, Dr. Guggenheim!" " What do you think you're doing?" " We're having a fund-raiser for..." " Turn that damn thing off" "Tell me this isn't happening." "I'd rather not have this conversation in front of the crew." "We have a new student with us today." "His name's Max Fischer and he's actually asked to say a few words to the class." " Max?" "You want to take it away?" " Sure." "Thanks very much" "I just wanted to introduce myself" "I'm Max Fischer." "I'm a former student of Rushmore Academy, which I recently got expelled from" "This is my first time in a public school." "And I know you probably think I was born with a silverspoonin my mouth" "But I'm no elitist." "I think you've got some great facilities and I'm really looking forward to making thebest of it over here at Grover Cleveland." "One footnote:" "I noticed you don't have a fencing team." "I'm going to start one up." "Let me know if you'dlike to join" " Max?" " Yes?" "Hi." "I'm Margaret Yang." "I'm in Mrs. Whitney's class." "I just wanted to tell you I liked your speech" "I don't think I've ever heard of anyone asking to give a speech in class before" "How unfortunate!" "The silver spoon remark might rub some people the wrong way But I think I know how you meant it" "Do you know it?" "I gotta go to class right here" "Janet, Max Fischer." "Is he in?" " Hey, Max." "How's it going?" " Terrible" "Tell me something." "When you talk to Miss Cross the other day..." " Excuse me." "Do you have a telephone pass?" " One second" "I got to tell you." "I don't know what you see in her." "I don't think she's right for you." "What's that supposed to mean?" "I mean, she's not that beautiful." "She's not that intriguing" "She has something you can put your finger on." "But..." "Look, Mr. Blume." "Your comments are valuable." "But let's get to the point" " Will she see me again?" "Yes or no?" " No" "I'm talking on the telephone" "Oh, Come on." "That's rude." "Hey, Fisher!" "You better beat it, sunnie" "You know, Fischer." "I've been watching you." "Showboat, always talking, picking a kid like Dirk   because his mother's a great piece and then getting nowhere" "Like everything you do." "Big show." "No results." "What do you call getting a hand job from Mrs. Calloway in her Jaguar?" "A fucking lie?" "You think I got kicked out for just the aquarium?" "Nah." "It was the hand job." "You wanna know something else?" "It was worth it" "I'm sorry I embarrassed you at dinner And please apologize to what's his name for me" " I will." "Are you OK?" " I'm fine." "But I miss Rushmore." "I miss the seasons." "And watching the leaves change" "By the way, what time does the library close?" "I got an overdue book to turn in" "That's your handwriting, isn't it?" "My husband gave me this book when he came to visit to me when I was 13" "And he went to Rushmore." "So when he died I gave it to the library here" " You remind me of him, you know?" " I do?" "How?" " You remember you were in the Rushmore Beekeepers?" " Yeah." "I was President of them" "He founded that club" " Do you think we can be friends again, Miss Cross?" "In a strictly platonic way?" " Of course, I do" "Do you think you can make a go of it and settle down at Grover Cleveland?" "Yeah." "But I need a tutor" "OK!" "What else do we got?" " Hi, Max" " Hello" " What was your name again?" " Margaret Yang" " What are you doing seventh period, Margaret Yang?" " I have guitar lessons" " Classical guitar or?" " Rock" "That's good." "We can get out of it then" "Put Margaret down for 3:30 in the auditorium, Woody." "And bring a headshot, please" " Hello, Herman." " How are you, Rosemary?" "Fine, thanks." "I just got home and I'm having a little snack" "Having some carrots?" " Nice house!" " Yeah, it isn't mine." "I'm just sort of housesitting" "Were you in the neighborhood?" "Didn't Max have something planned for us today?" "A trip to the museum or something?" "I don't think so." "I think he's rehearsing tonight" "Oh." "That's right." "His new play" " He's really making a go of it over at Grover Cleveland" " Yeah." "He's doing very well, isn't he?" "You want a carrot?" "Yeah." "I'll have one of those" "I'll probably be seeing you soon" "Or we could go for a walk, if you like" " Sure" " Well, this is nice, isn't it?" "Kind of brisk." "I'll just get a sweater." "I'll be back in a minute" " Dirk?" " I know about you and the teacher" " Does Max know?" " No." "And I don't want him to know." "I just want it to stop." "Right now" "You're a married man, Blume." "And you're supposed to be his friend" " Look, Dirk." "I am his friend" " Oh, yeah." "And with friends like you, who needs friends?" "Unlock it!" "Little Calloway!" "You're standing up for the wrong guy." "Fischer ain't your mate" " What are you talking about, Buchan?" " He thinks your mum's good for a bonk That's why hepicked you as his chapel partner" " Who sold you that crock?" " He told me himself" " He says she gave him a hand job in the backseat of her bloody Jaguar" " Max never said that" "Yeah." "I suppose you're right." "After all, the son of a brain doctor doesn't need to impress anybody, doeshe?" " The killing has got to stop, esse It's getting too loco." "No more gats" " Nigger, you're the crazy one" "People will be trying to kill you." "Are you talking about getting rid of your gun?" " It's time, homey" " Kiss me, Little One" "Then he kisses her and we're out." "OK Is that for me?" "Dear Max, I'm sorry to say that I have secretly found out that Mr. Blume is having an affair with MissCross." "My first suspicions came when I saw them frenching in front of her house then I knew for sure whenthey went skinny dipping in Mr. Blume's swimming pool, giving each other hand jobs while you were taking a nap on the frontporch" "Why am I telling you this now?" "Because you're such a good friend Take care, pal." "Fondly, DirkCalloway" " How was she, Herman?" " Jesus Christ!" "Was she good?" "I bet she was." "Although I wouldn't know 'cause I never screwed her" "Going skinny-dipping while I took a nap." ""Are you comfortable, Max?"" " "I'll just be out back nude getting hand jobs from the woman you love"" " We never went skippingdipping" "Sure, you didn't." "And next you're going to tell me you didn't just walk out of her house at twoo'clock in the morning" "I'm in love with her" "Well, I was in love with her first" "And all that crap about "I don't think she's that great" "I don't think she's right for you, Max" Thatwas all bullshit, wasn't it?" " Do you think she's in love with you?" " I don't know" "Well, I guarantee you she's not And she never will be" "Max!" "I saved Latin!" "What'd you ever do?" "On the planet I'm from the sun only comes out once a year" " That is why my skin..." " Excuse me!" "I just came by to thank you for wrecking my life" "Max, what are you doing?" "Hello?" "Mrs. Blume?" "This is Max Fisher I have some information regarding your husband" "Thank you for meeting me" "You're welcome" "Would you like a sandwich?" "All right" " I have a tuna, peanut butter and jelly I'm sorry it's not something more exotic" " I'll take the tunafish" "Get to the point" " And how long will you be staying with us, Mr. Blume?" " Indefinitely." "I'm being sued for a divorce" "Shortie!" " So can you tell me where the pool's located?" "I might want to take a dip after I have the dinner" "It's on the roof, sir" "5'3", a hundred and twleve pounds, black hair, glasses..." "Thanks for bailing me out, Dad Can you drop me off at Rushmore?" "I got to go settle a score" "You think that's wise, Max?" " What are you doing?" "What are you doing?" " Private property!" "You're trespassing!" "Wait a minute!" "Stop!" "Let's have a truce for a second Truce!" "Truce!" "What's this all about?" "Did you say my mother gave you a hand job?" "Did you say it?" "Who told you that goddamn lie?" "Never mind." "I know who said that" " And I'm going to stick a knife in his heart And I'm going to send him back to Ireland in abodybag" " He's from Scotland" "Well, tell that stupid mick he just made my list of things to do today I'm going to pop a cap in hisass" "So you received the package?" "Good." "I just wanted to inform you about what's going on" " I never took you for an informer, Max" " What's that suppose to mean?" "She resigned this morning Before I even got your little snapshots So your latest attempt at sabotagehas backfired" " But she's one of the best teachers you've got How could you let her go?" " Why are you trying toget her fired?" "You stupid old fool!" "I'm trying to win her back!" "Miss Cross?" "Hi, Max" " You need any help?" " No." "I have it." "Damn it!" " Here." "Let me see" " No." "Please, I don't think you should come in here" "Look." "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings" "I'm sorry I love your friend instead of you But..." "Please, Max" " You honestly believe you love Blume instead of me?" " Yes" "You'll forgive me if I won't take your word for that" "If you don't stop, I'm going to lose it I mean it!" "It's too late" "Wait, please" " I got kicked out because of you!" " You got kicked out because..." " Rushmore was my life." "Now you are!" " No, I'm not" "What do you really think is going to happen between us?" "You think we're going to have sex?" "That's kind of a cheap way to put it, don't you think?" " Not if you've never fucked before, it isn't" "Oh, my God" "How would you describe it to your friends?" "Would you say that you fingered me?" "Or maybe I could give you a hand job Would that put an end to all of this?" "Please." "Get out of my classroom" " Fischer, ya spotty fucker!" " Hey, Magnus" "Got any hand jobs lately?" "Hey, Dirk!" "Look who's here." "Your stepfather!" "Waitin' for your mum so he can get a piece" "Your mind is as warped as your ear, Buchan" "Don't get nasty, brother" "We got him, Dirk." "We got him" "Max?" "Hi, Mr. Blume" "You wanted to meet?" " When?" " Right now." "You said you wanted to put an end to this" "Oh." "Yeah." "I was going to try and have that tree over there fall on you" "That big one?" "That would have flat me like pancake" " What stopped you?" " What's the point?" "She loves you" " She's my Rushmore, Max" " Yeah, I know." "She was mine, too" " Good night, Stan." "Merry Christmas!" " See you next time" "It's been nice having your company here at the shop, Max" "Have you put anymore thought into giving school another shot?" "Max, I like being a barber." "I'm good at it But I always thought you'd try another line of work" " You talked about being a senator or a diplomat" " Pipe dreams, dad" "I'm a barber's son" "See you at dinner" " Hello, Dirk" "Hi, Max" " What can I do for you?" " I thought I might get a haircut" " We are closed" "Well, I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry I threw rocks at you the other day But I guess I should gonow" "Merry Christmas" "What in the hell is that?" " So did you heard the news?" " I doubt it." "I don't really follow the news anymore" " Dr. Guggenheim had a stroke" " I'll send him a box of candy" "Maybe you ought to go visit him" " Mrs. Guggenheim?" " Hello, Max." "Come in" "It's so good to see you" "These are glorious Let me put them in some water." "Have a sit" " Should I say hello to Dr. Guggenheim?" "Or can he not hear me?" "No, he can hear you" "Hello, old timer." "It's Max Fischer" " You probably can hear me because I don't know if your brain is damaged so..." " What do you want?" "Nelson?" " It's the first thing he said in 10 days" " Do you think he recognized me?" " No, I don't think so" "Hey, amigo" "So who gave you the shiner?" "Either Ronny or Donny." "But I can't tell the difference anymore" "Whichever one it was, it clocked you" " Kids don't like their parents to get divorced" " I don't blame 'em" " Neither do I" " How is she?" " I really don't know" " Why not?" " I don't see her in 6 weeks" "What happened?" "She left?" " She's in love with the dead guy, anyway" " Edward Appleby" "She's fucked up" " Adios, amigo" " Hey, you ok?" "I'm a little bit lonely these days" "Max?" "What are you doing here?" " I don't know." "Jesus!" "They came at me out of no where." "It was so sudden" " What?" "I'm sorry." "Can I use your phone?" "I just got hit by a car" "Oh, my God." "Are you OK?" " What did you say?" " Come inside" " So this is where it all happens?" " Oh, what happens?" " I wouldn't know" " So why'd you dump Blume?" " That's none of your business" "I know it's not." "But I was just hit by a car I'm a little confused right now" " I mean." "I thought you dumped me for Blume" " I never dumped you because we were never going out" "Because it would help me if you would talk to me for a minute." "And tell me what happened" "Well." "A:" "He's a married man B:" "He hates himself" " And C:" "He smashed your bicycle, didn't he?" " My previous bicycle." "Yes" " Well, what sort of person does something like that?" " I don't know" "War does funny things to men" "He thinks you dumped him because of Edward Appleby" "What does that mean?" "Well, I mean." "You live in this room" "With all his stuff." "It's kind of..." " I was married to him" " I know you" "I will say Edward has more spark and character and imagination in one fingernail than Herman Blumehas in his entire body" "One dead fingernail" "Right." "One dead fingernail" "How'd he die by the way?" "He drowned" " How'd your mother die?" " She got cancer" "Hold still for a minute, ok?" " You're very pretty" " Thank you" "Is this fake blood?" "Yes, it is" "You know, you and Herman deserve each other You both are little children" "Let me show you to the door" " Goodbye, Miss Cross" " Goodbye, Max" "Hey, I have a, I'm sorry about what I said about your mom giving me a handjob" "I know, Max." "Sorry I didn't take your hand when Buchan kicked your ass" "Hey, it's ok" "What's that?" "I don't know" "Nice landing" "What's that you got there?" "A flight plan or something?" " Do you know Dirk Calloway?" " I don't think so" " Dirk, this is Margaret Yang" "I heard about your science fair project on Action 13 They said the Navy was going to buy it from you" " No, not anymore" " Why not?" " Because it was fake" " What do you mean?" " I faked all the results" " Why?" " Because it didn't work." "I thought it would but it didn't" "You were a real jerk to me." "You know that?" "Sorry, Margaret" "Well." "Anyway." "Nice to see you" "Can I take over for a while?" " Thanks for meeting me, Mr. Blume" " What can I do for you?" "What's this?" "That's the Perfect Attendance awards and the Punctuality Award." "I got those at Rushmore" "I thought you could choose which one you like more and you could wear that one and I could wear theother" "I'll take punctuality" "Come here" " Thank you" " Come on inside" "Well, Well." "Well..." "Look what the cat dragged in" " Sorry, I'm late" " That's OK" "I want you to meet somebody Mr. Blume, this is my father, Bert Fischer" "Nice to meet you, Mr. Fischer Mr. Fischer was my father's name." "Call me Bert" "So Max tells me you need a haircut I want to you sit down" " I don't know, Bert" " Don't worry, Mr. Blume." "It's a painless procedure Maybe we throw in a shaveas well" "Are you fine with that mustache?" "Do you wanna keep it for a while?" " How much are you worth, by the way?" " I don't know" " Over ten million?" " Yeah, I guess so" " Good, good" " Why?" " Cause we're going to need all of it" "She's not coming, is she?" "It doesn't look good" "Ah, shit!" "What am I doing here?" "How the hell did you ever get so rich?" "You're a quitter, man!" "I paid eight million dollars" "And that's all you're prepared to spend?" "I'm sorry you couldn't make it to the little ground-breaking the other day" "It's kind of a shame, since he's building it for you" "I never asked anybody to build me an aquarium" " I'm not sure how that rumor got started" " Me, neither" " You think Edward Appleby would've built you one?" " Yeah." "He probably would've if he had the money" "That's what I thought." "Blume's got a little more spark and vitality than you expected, doesn't he?" " But the aquarium was your idea" " Well, I gave it to my friend" " Fifteen sticks?" " Yes, please" "Could you make the order out to Ready Demolition?" "Thank you very much" "Make sure these don't get wet" " I'll see you at 3:15" " Where you going?" " Rushmore" "I got one last piece of unfinished business to attend to" " Fisher, ya fuck!" " Hello, Magnus" "I'd have shot you in the other ear, but it got blown off a long time ago" " Besides now we're even" " Not for long, kemosabe" " I got a proposition for you" " Will you stick it up your mother's arse, ya little prick?" "I've got to hand it to you, Magnus." "You've got a way with words." "You want to be in a play?" "What's all this shite?" " Nothiong" "I think you're right for the part" " I always wanted to be in one of your frickin' plays" " I know you did, mate" "It's gonna be exciting." "My son, Max wrote it" "I gotta go to hospital" " My kid's gonna burn this place down" " You'd better believe it" "Klinci ce razvaliti dvoranu. -l hoce." "Turn it, turm it." "That's it" "Hi, Herman" "Looks like Max pulled a fast one on us" "I don't usually do this, but this play means a lot to me" "And I wanted to make a dedication So I'll just say that this play is dedicated to the memory of mymother, Eloise Fischer" "And to Edward Appleby." "A friend of a friend" "Also you'll find a pair of safety glasses and some earplugs underneath your seats." "Please feel free touse them." "Thank you very much" "Let's rock, Esposito!" "Let's rock!" "I'm OK!" "Go, go, go, go!" " Take it easy, Dirk" " How much time we got, Wood?" " Bring me some more ketchup very quickly, please" " This is gonna look stupid" " No, it's not." "It'sgonna look real" " Thank you" " You're welcome." "Hold this one, too." "OK?" "So what do you think of Max's latest opus?" "It's good" "It's got a happy ending" " Adios, Esposito" " Adios, Sarge." "Say a prayer for Surf Boy" "Semper fi(Good luck), soldier Semper fi" "Sic transit gloria Maybe we'll meet someday when the fighting stops" "Tag 'em and bag 'em, cherries!" "We're moving out!" "Hello, Esposito" " Will you marry me, Le-Chahn?" " You bet I will" " Did Max send you an invitation?" " Yeah." "And he told me to wear a tie" " Congratulations, Max." " Thanks you very much, Mrs. Yang" "I wrote a different version of the play two years ago" " But I couldn't get it done over at Rushmore" " Oh, really?" "why?" " No." "A kid got his finger blown off during rehearsals" " A very good evening to you, Fishers" "Miss Cross, I'd like you to meet my father, Bert Fischer." "He's a barber" " This is my friend Rosemary Cross" " Hello, Rosemary" "And, of course, you know Mr. Blume I'd also like everyone to meet Mr. and Mrs. Yang And this isMargaret" "I'm surprised they let him build a real campfire onstage It's clearly a safety hazard" " Last year he tried to raise piranhas" " Yeah, I know he did that What'd you think, Mr. Littlejeans?" "Best play ever, man" " I thought I was very realistic performancer" " Yeah?" "Fischer stepped on half of my bleedin' line" " I didn't notice" " How are Ronny and Donny doing in military school?" " They love it" " Lucky Bastards" " I understand you're a neurosurgeon" " No." "I'm a barber." "But a lot of people make that mistake" " You were incredible tonight, Margaret You were that poor girl" " Thank you" " I loved it when you grabbed onto the bottom of the chopper as it was taking off" " That was totallyimprovised" " Can I ask you a question?" " Of course" " Can you do an Australian accent?" "I'm working on something that's set in the outback" "I really feel like celebrating, you know" " Would you care to dance?" " Oh, yes." "I'd love to" " You're looking good, Bert" " Hello, Mr. Blume" " Hello, Margaret" "May I cut in?" "I haven't had a change to cut a rug with your new girlfriend yet" "Yes, I am." "Find your own partner, Mr. Blume I'm spoken for" "No, it's OK." "He's my friend" " Well, you pulled it off" " It went OK." "At least nobody got hurt" "Except for you" "No." "I didn't get hurt that bad" "Come on, you two." "Shake a leg" "You you like to dance?" "Yeah, but let's see if we DJ can play something with a little more..."