"Once, there was a city whose inhabitants were either princes or beggars." "Between them, there was nothing but stray dogs." "They were the middle class." "PHILANTROPIQUE" "Specially for Mr. Relu the Baron, our special guest..." "A very good evening to all of you!" "Hope you liked the show..." "Very much." "Something wrong, honey?" "Excuse me..." "Could you pay the bill now?" "My shift is ending." "If you need anything else, ask my colleague." "There must be a mistake here..." "with the zeroes." "Impossible, Sir." "3,200,000 lei." "Check it yourself!" "3,200,000..." "That much for two meals?" "We'll check it together, no problem!" "You've had:" "One Cinzano 60,000, one whisky 130, one foie gras 280, one soufflé 330," "French champagne, 1,800,000, that's already 2,530,000." "Excuse me..." "Moving on." "Chateaubriand 200,000, Valdostana 180,000," "Pinot Noir 500,000." "I told you, but you wouldn't listen." "Add ice creams and coffees:" "3,200,000 on the nose." "That's not counting Miss Laura, our lovely singer." "Excuse me, what kind of prices are these?" "Restaurant prices, Sir, you have them on the menu, only they're per 100 grams." "Excuse us." "What if I said I haven't got enough?" "Don't say that, please." "Just supposing." "Come on, a gentleman like you!" "How would you react?" "How would I..." "I'd pretend I didn't hear." "Never happened before?" "Sometimes we have jokers here..." "But they always end up paying." "Suppose I tell you I'm in deep shit?" "Don't say that, I beg you!" "My wife and I, we both work hard..." "Why are you upsetting me?" "But a whole month's pay can't cover this bill." "Then why go to restaurants?" "We made a mistake." "If we made a mistake, we pay for it." "50,000 more for the cup, and now you've made the lady cry!" "I never thought it'd cost that much." "Let's be civilized, I could pay in installments." "Do I look like a sucker?" "I have 500,000 on me, take it!" "How can I find 3 millions?" "If we start on that tone..." "What tone?" "I'm explaining the facts!" "Get Mugurel and Andone!" "We could sell the washing machine!" "Sell your mother, the machine is broken!" "Don't talk to me like that!" "Forgive me!" "You see I'm going nuts!" "What are we doing now?" "We can't spend the whole night on this." "Come on guys, I asked for a helping hand!" "Here we are, boss." "Okay, let's not make a scene." "Hands off him!" "Please!" "Let me explain!" "My wife and I celebrate today ten years of marriage." "For once, we thought we could go to a restaurant." "I'm a teacher, she's a lab assistant, we hardly make ends meet!" "We overestimated our budget, we made a mistake." "But it's a family event, women care about these things!" "Tell you what." "The lady stays here, and you bring the money in one hour." "Where from?" "Where am I supposed to find 3 millions at midnight?" "Tell me:" "What should I do?" "Steal, kill?" "Rob a bank?" "We smack him?" "Waiter!" "Come to daddy!" "One second, Baron..." "Don't argue, come here!" "Put everything on my bill." "Come on, Baron, they don't deserve a treat like this." "Leave it, they're just a couple of losers!" "Must be your lucky night!" "OK, guys, it's settled." "How come?" "The Baron is in good humor." "Next time, don't show up without money." "Had my boys worked you over, you would've spent a fortune on the dentist!" "How did I get into this?" "I'm wondering, too." "You want to know?" "It's a long story?" "Depends." "We could walk for a while." "Don't you think it's time we spoke on a first name basis?" "After just 10 years of marriage?" "No way." "Stop kidding and talk." "OK." "Let's start at the beginning." "Seventeen..." "I hate that age." "I hate my students." "Ten days ago, that was all my life amounted to." "Each morning, the same pimpled faces." "I counted them:" "246 pimples on sophomores, 197 on juniors..." "Bucescu, may I disturb you a second?" "Me, hot for you." "You, hot for me?" "Why are you angry?" "I asked you to turn off your cell phones, right?" "I called you a bimbo 'cause you were juiced and you were putting the move on Limpy." "Sometimes, I was thinking with their words." "School was "sucky"." "The "stash" was running low." "Classes were "fun less"." "My life was "dragging ass"." "Bucescu." "Be "cool" and pay attention to me." "20 years before, I was their age." "But in those times, school was no joke." "The poets of the 19th century were among the first to reveal the antagonistic contradictions undermining capitalist society." "What kind of contradictions did the poets reveal?" "Antagonistic." "Give me an example of a poem revealing such contradictions." "Today, I teach literature in this topnotch high school, reserved for students of a certain level." "I just published my first book:" "10 short stories in a tiny print run, at my expense." "All I made on the deal was the price of a tram ticket, and the thrill of seeing my work in bookshops." "I saw a book here, "Nobody Dies For Free"." "Any left?" "They fought over it!" "Three copies sold." "And the others?" "Back to the publisher." "Why?" "No demand." "Bullshit!" "This is a demand!" "But we sent 'em back..." "Why?" "Did they stink?" "The asshole was dead the day after." "I killed him in some atrocious way, on the third page of my first novel." "New paragraph." ""The night wormed silently into the city like a..."" "U nfortunately I was stuck on this sentence and for days, despite all efforts, I couldn t get over it." "Christmas music again?" "It's September!" "With a parasite in the house eating our pension," "I might not live to see Christmas." "That crap in the fridge was your pension?" "That's your mother's work!" "You should go shopping." "What about the writer?" "You talking to me?" "Yes." "You've read the book?" "I'm going to." "When?" "As soon as I finish this one!" "I glanced over it, it's very nice." "Who asked you?" "Go to sleep!" "We were a united family, living a perpetual Christmas." "Out there, however, there was Vera." "Vera had only one passion:" "Other people's kids." "It's bed time." "Try to speak softly for a minute, till he falls asleep." "He was very nervous last week." "What a treasure!" "Aren't you moved by such a little cutie?" "Here we go again..." "What did you say?" "He's sweet." "You think I'm stupid?" "You want to humiliate me?" "I heard you." "Here we go again with what?" "I hate having these talks in public." "You hate them in public?" "Let's go home then!" "Have you got a home for us?" "No." "Because you're afraid." "Afraid of marriage, afraid of kids!" "Vera, don't exaggerate." "Same old song, every time:" ""I want a baby to play with..."" ""Forget nine months, I want it now!" Don't fight..." ""Buy me a baby right now!"" "You're a pig!" "Just go fuck yourself!" "You woke up the baby!" "It was the end of a two year affair with Vera, the only woman who ever wanted a kid from me." "But I had about 100 kids at school, all driving me crazy." "Especially one of them..." "Robert!" "You put moves on her?" "You're dead." "Me, with this dog?" "He made a move on me!" "You're fucked!" "Robert was the school hotshot." "All the girls were wild about him." "He rarely came to class." "When he did, he was stoned." "I was happy to see him as little as possible." "The principal would rather see him no more." "Hey teach," "I heard some talk about booting me out." "What's up?" "You must've done something." "But you stick up for me!" "You're my buddy, right?" "What can I do, if you keep looking for trouble?" "Let me spell it out to you." "If they boot me out and you're on their side, you won't be my buddy anymore." "Then I come see you..." "and slice you like salami." "Fair?" "Sounds fair to me." "I'll think about it." "I suddenly realized that a young man in his formative years is a frail thing and that hasty sanctions can traumatize him for life." "Robert deserved a chance to graduate." "I asked the headmaster to let me talk to the boy's parents and instructed Robert to send them to school." "I was almost curious to meet this little rascal's family." "You see, sometimes in life a door swings open and suddenly nothing remains as it was." "Well, imagine the door of Junior B..." "Mr. Gorea?" "I'm Robert's sister." "My parents were supposed to come, but they're out of town for a few days." "N ice to meet you." "Ovidiu Gorea." "Diana Dobrovicescu." "Robert's sister!" "Take a seat." "Thanks." "But you have to sit down too." "I didn't know Robert had..." "Well, then!" "What kind of contradictions did the 19th century's poets reveal?" "Antagonistic." "Sorry?" "I didn t get the question." "Is there a problem with my brother?" "A problem with Robert?" "The problem with Robert..." "It's not really a problem." "I mean..." "You haven't done your homework." "So you're Robert's sister." "Tell me if he's done something bad." "Robert is so hot tempered..." "he should calm down a little." "It's age, too." "If you don't fool around a bit at this age, when do you fool around?" "I think I left my cell phone on my desk." "No, you haven't left anything on your desk, so get lost, and fast!" "You must be tough, otherwise they go too far." "So, then..." "Robert's sister..." "Student?" "I go to modeling school." "Obviously." "For someone like you, that is the future." "When I say "like you", I mean..." "Not that you couldn't do a serious job." "I mean, fashion is serious enough, but it doesn't require any schooling." "Though you have mentioned something about a school..." "Am I confused here?" "A little." "I'm exhausted." "I worked all last night." "I'm writing a novel." "You're also writer?" "Yes." "In fact, I am "also" a teacher." "Teaching is mostly a hobby." "Kids are such fabulous raw material, I love working with them..." "I'll break your necks!" "So..." "Robert's sister..." "What books have you written?" "Several." "I just happen to have a recent one here." "I'll sign it for you." "It's very kind but..." "I insist." "8 p.m. Nova Brasilia Café." "I'll be waiting." "Too bad, Gorgeous." "You don't know what you're missing." "Sorry." "There was a Writers' Guild meeting." "I couldn't get away." "I was about to leave." "I'd have called if I had your number." "Glad you made it." "Next time, pay the bill." "What did she say?" "Nothing." "Let's go someplace else." "I know a nice pizza place near here." "Pizza place?" "Let's go to a nightclub!" "What nightclub?" "The Why Not." "There's a party sponsored by a toothpaste company." "Can we get in?" "Sure, I made a commercial for them..." "Shall we run to the subway?" "Subway?" "Welcome to the Domident promotional party, where people with strong teeth drink like crazy, dance like crazy and..." "have a crazy time!" "Get me a Campari orange!" "I had a hollow feeling in my stomach." "The taxi, admission, 3 Camparis, a pack of cigarettes and 2 coffees." "Half a month's salary gone already." "What'll it be?" "What I desperately needed was a miracle." "Now it's time for our crazy contest." "Domident Corporation is offering 3 million lei to the winning couple!" "Ready for... the Orange Dance!" "Let's do it." "You sure?" "You'll have to tell me how." "The starting position!" "Place the orange between your foreheads." "Whatever happens, it should never touch the floor." "You can only use your body." "Those using their hands will be disqualified." "That's life." "Let's have a drink." "What's a good excuse for bolting out of a toothpaste party?" "Toothache." "Logical, isn't it?" "And if she didn't buy it, too bad." "One thing was certain:" "Glamour girls cost too much." "I decided to spend less time on romance and more on writing." "Come quick!" "Daddy is on TV!" "Can you hear me?" "Hello!" "We can hear you." "Ask your question." "Making a fool of yourself again?" "Talk about pensions!" "With all due consideration, I'd like to ask:" "Is this the way things should be in our country?" "What way?" "The way they are!" "Our show happens to deal with fiscal reform." "Please ask a specific question." "It's very specific!" "Everything has gone bananas in this country!" "Comment on that!" "Thanks for the question." "I have another one..." "We'll be back after a commercial break." "You're a joke." "Bullshit!" "They couldn't handle the truth." "Hey babe!" "You free tonight?" "That's cheeky!" "You still have milk teeth." "Your place or mine?" "Anywhere." "I won't live to see you buy your own toothpaste!" "Ovidiu!" "Commercials!" "Your place or mine?" "Anywhere." "Diana?" "Ovidiu speaking." "Ovidiu Gorea." "Robert's literature teacher." "Sorry, did I wake you up?" "You don't remember?" "We went together to a toothpaste party..." "A toothache, that's right." "I saw you in that commercial..." "I thought you were great." "OK, I'll let you sleep." "We'll talk some other time." "Good night and..." "Did you get a chance to go over my book?" "No kidding?" "You read it?" "I only had four readers in the world, and one of them was Diana." "I was wasting my best years before a typewriter, while a heavenly creature was within my reach, and waiting to be grabbed." "Somebody, up there, liked me." "I needed some real money for a decent date." "This time it had to work." "No more low profile!" "A paper is just for a day." "A good book lasts forever." "I was hoping to sell a few hundred copies." "After an hour, I lowered the price." "Even the beggars were making more than me." "Think you're smart?" "Get lost!" "What's the problem?" "This isn't your patch." "That's Gigi Piedone's." "You working for him?" "I don't..." "Then get lost, shithead." "This is a public place..." "The Writers' Café." "A place I usually try to avoid." "Most of these pathetic drunks were legends of the past, poets of the Golden Age:" "The first to reveal antagonistic contradictions between Soviet vodka and Romanian brandy." "Too bad." "Given my situation" "I had to swallow pride." "Mr. Negreanu, may I..." "Go ahead." "I truly admire your books and..." "Want me to sign one?" "Sorry, no pen." "I'd like an honest opinion on my book." "I'm busy till December." "Leave it, anyway." "And if anyone wants one, they're on sale for 30,000." "What is this?" "Selling your stuff to writers?" "It's tough for us newcomers." "Tough for you?" "That's a good one!" "Me, with my 17 titles, dozens of awards, and three pieces on the school curriculum," "I eat and drink in this shithole!" "On credit, too!" "The same goes for my friends." "And pricks like you come to complain?" "You have some nerve to demand money from famous writers for your crappy booklets." "Here's what I think of the 90's New Wave!" "Look!" "God bless the classics!" "Long live Eminescu!" "Down with postmodernists!" "Maestro!" "What about a vodka for a poem?" "Meaning?" "I am the railway station poet." "Come here, I won't bite." "I'm sort of a high school novelist." "I got that." "You wrote a book." "Not bad." "Buy a vodka for a fellow writer." "Come on, the cheapest one!" "And I'll recite you one of my poems." "Who is your publisher?" "Do I look like a clown who runs after publishers?" "No, I just recite:" "A poem for a small vodka." "May I choke on it if you don't like it." "The railway station poet?" "Title:" ""Poem by a Man Realizing H is Head's U p H is Ass"" "I'm listening." ""In the tiny bedroom On a broken bed,"" ""I lie crushed by the weight"" ""Of a giant fist on my head."" "Is that all?" "That's it." "Not bad." "You're a tough critic." "I have another one." "Go on." "Not with an empty glass." "Title:" ""Poem For a Girl I Met in Tram No. 44"" ""Before She Ditched Me."" ""The smile she gave me in that tram Was shining with a million lies,"" ""My life became a traffic jam"" ""And so did Mr. Ion Susai's."" "Who is lon Susai?" "A friend, you don't know him." "Let's have one more." "That's all." "I've only got two poems." "Only two?" "Don't tell me you're some Tolstoy." "True." "Ten short novellas don't amount to "War and Peace"." "How much do you sell these soap operas for?" "3,000 a piece." "Less than a vodka." "I'll take all ten." "If you can afford it, why beg for a vodka?" "Tonight, I'm begging for a vodka because I'm thirsty." "Usually, I recite for money." "I couldn't believe it." "He was making five times my salary." "He could afford to eat in fancy restaurants." "He was living better than most of my friends on two short poems, which weren't even his!" "You're not the author?" "Not really." "The railway station poet sent me to see a certain Mr. Puiutz, alias Pepe, a man he described as "ferociously clever"." "I was to show him my book and ask for advice." "Come in." "The coffee is boiling." "Excuse me..." "I'm looking for Mr. Puiutz." "In his office." "Come in!" "Sort it out, and fast!" "Sort it out, and fast!" "I was told to see you by..." "I know." "The drunk at the station sent you." "I don't have anything for you." "I'd like to show you a book." "A collection of short stories." "You're a writer?" "I'm starting out..." "What's the problem?" "It's not exactly a best seller." "I need to sell a hundred copies pretty fast." "Forget it." "So you can't..." "No chance." "Mr. Piedone is here." "Tell him to wait." "I assume you need money..." "Do you know what I do?" "Not really." "But since it's a foundation," "I suppose you support cultural projects." "Remarkably perceptive." "Such perception leaves me speechless." "Follow me." "Have a seat." "Piedone!" "Brought a new batch?" "Five top quality items." "They're lined up outside." "How much do I get?" "20% on each text, like last time." "I shouldn't even speak to you." "But I've got a mother's heart." "Miruna!" "Go type!" "Okay, morons, line up!" "One at a time, or I'll bust your heads!" "I was beaten and tortured..." "Political jailbird, under Ceausescu..." "She won't earn a cent with that." "She might even be lynched for anti communism." "Send her to churches, in a wedding dress, with a picture of her dead husband." "Type:" ""I'm waiting for my husband."" ""He went to see with the Lord and told me to wait for him here."" "Next!" "Maybe an artist..." "Film director." "H is sign should say:" ""During the dictatorship I made movies."" ""Today, our cinema is dead and I'm incurably ill myself."" "Maestro, you're a friggin' genius!" "Another!" "Kid with AIDS." "AIDS is outdated, today they die of flu." "Can he sing?" "Can you sing?" "He can, or I'll kick his ass." "I'll write him an orphan subway song." "The lyrics on payday." "Next." "Retired cripple." "Like 3/4 of the population." "U niform, medals, crutches." "A ping pong ball over one eye and a sign saying:" ""An eye and a limb lost at Stalingrad."" "Seven months pregnant." "She'll push a doll in a stroller." "The doll must be in terrible shape." "Text:" ""Give my second child a chance."" "Don Pepe, you are a great artist." "I know..." "I'm off, I see you're busy." "Miruna, see him out." "I'm leaving in 5 minutes." "Tell the driver." "You were talking about cultural projects..." "I think I came to the wrong address." "I'm not so sure." "Can I drop you somewhere?" "This is a new profession." "I invented it." "Begging?" "Writing for beggars." "My works are shorter than yours, but they have an advantage:" "They sell." "Look!" "Those are the hopeless." "The free lancers..." "Nobody organizes them, they earn nothing, and they're a drain on society." "Much like yourself." "See that one?" "Ex violinist, so desperate he's even stopped playing." "Heartbreaking." "The trick is:" "He can't play a note." "Never learned, poor fellow." "We even taught him how to hold the violin." "But people give handouts." "How much?" "You'd be surprised." "In a few hours he can make a fortune." "Mr. Piedone, whom you met, passes twice a day to collect the cash." "Even the police take their cut." "It's called organized begging." "Shameful!" "How small minded." "To beg and not to receive, that's shameful." "For years, Romania has gone cap in hand to Europe and the U SA without getting a cent." "What do they expect working with amateurs?" "Watch this guy." "I know it's embarrassing, but could you lend me 50,000?" "It's an emergency, the ATM is broken and I need cab fare." "You don't always have to dress in rags." "The morons in government never understood that." "Leave me your number and I'll reimburse you." "Forget it." "In situations like these..." "How much do you need?" "Two or three million." "U rgently?" "By Saturday." "Will you take the plunge?" "You mean beg with a credit card?" "Wrong:" "Without a credit card." "And most challenging, from your point of view, you won't even have to beg." "Ever been interested in the mechanism of charity?" "It's a fascinating field." "What is the secret trigger that controls compassion?" "I'll tell you:" "A story." "An out stretched hand without a story to tell gets no charity." "I've got a few ideas I want to test." "What I need is a character." "You have the perfect face and an extra quality:" "You're kind of sad." "If you play ball and follow the rules," "I promise that by Saturday you'll have all the cash you need." "Think it over and give me a call." "One call, honey!" "I am so hot for you..." "Let's explore our wildest dreams together." "Just one call, and all your fantasies will come true." "Call Mr. Pavel Puiutz and I'll be all yours." "Bucescu!" "Give me the phone." "I wasn't using it!" "Lucky me!" "Hand it over." "How does it work?" "Yes, it's me." "What's your decision?" "That's the winning answer!" "N ice working with you." "Now listen carefully:" "Remember the young lady you met in my office?" "Good evening." "I am Ovidiu Gorea." "Miruna Stan." "Shall we go?" "Good evening." "There." "By the window." "Take it easy." "We have two hours to kill with these coffees." "Talk." "Let's make conversation." "How long have we been married?" "Ten years." "We can still speak to each other, though." "I don't trust the waiter." "He's so rude." "All the better." "What a welcome!" "Don't be silly." "Pepe paid him off." "If he's rude, people will be on our side." "What people?" "It's too early!" "Give it another hour." "I could kill for a cigarette." "Not here." "Pepe says my character shouldn't smoke." "Ready for the bill?" "What am I doing here?" "Sorry?" "I've been thinking." "There are things you just can't do." "I'm not up to this racket." "I thought I was, but I'm not." "My apologies to Mr. Pepe." "I almost forgot the ring." "I'll be damned!" "Ovidiu and Miruna!" "What a small country:" "Just a handful of tables!" "You both look fantastic." "Happy couples are so rare these days." "Mr. Puiutz, I can't go on." "It is beneath my dignity." "Your dignity?" "Flat broke, you can afford dignity?" "Let me tell you a story." "In the 1950s, when I was young, I wanted to be a writer, like you." "Do you know what that whim cost me?" "5 years in jail." "The comrades didn't enjoy my manuscript." "In the can, you get a crash course in dignity." "A cigarette for the guard?" "One day of dignity." "No more cigarettes?" "Careful when bending over." "Mr. Puiutz... 5 years later, when I got out, guess what I discovered?" "It's the same deal on the outside." "Take your dignity and shove it up your ass, and make sure it stays there." "Check, please!" "Ten years of marriage and you still look like lovebirds." "Incredible!" "Waiter!" "There must be a mistake here." "I don't think so." "Check it yourself." "As far as I know we're still living in Romania!" "Who can afford these prices?" "We have our clientele, Madam:" "They all pay." "Honey, will you check this?" "I'm thinking I'm going mad." "It's enormous." "We don't have that much money." "This can't be!" "You have to pay." "This is a very special night for us." "My wife..." "U nbelievable!" "I was enjoying every minute of it." "I felt like a great actor, playing to a breathless audience." "It was only the beginning, the opening night of a long running show." "Honey, calm down." "I'll make a deal with him." "Can you read my lips?" "You pay and that's it!" "We should have stayed at home!" "You had to insist!" "It's our special night!" "You had all the specials." "Did we ask for specials?" "We did not!" "You told us to leave it to you." "I just wanted to please my wife on our 10th anniversary." "10 years!" "Then please me too and pay up!" "You know what my husband earns?" "I don't give a hoot." "Nothing in two months!" "The Ministry has stopped paying teachers' salaries since the budget was cut!" "We haven't been to a restaurant in ten years, thanks to this criminal policy that is destroying education!" "It's a scandal, Madam!" "3,900,000, please." "Why can't you be reasonable?" "Let's try and find a solution!" "I could stay and wash the dishes." "Your health and happiness!" "Laura!" "Sing "Happy Anniversary" for these two lovebirds!" "Everything I did, Miruna, had one goal:" "To impress her tomorrow with a fat wallet, a cell phone and a flashy car." "That's the whole story." "What do you think?" "What can I think?" "Good luck." "I'll need it." "Here we are." "This is where I live." "See you Monday?" "Till Monday." "Any advice?" "Yes." "Take the ring off." "Bring it back by noon tomorrow!" "Is this your car?" "You bet." ""Nobody Dies For Free"." "300,000 copies sold." "Where are we going?" "I booked a table at The Coral." "After dinner, we can go dancing." "We've even got an orange." "Diana!" "Idiots!" "We're going to The Cool Club!" "Where?" "The Cool Club!" "Diana, how are you?" "Great!" "What about you?" "I broke up with Silviu!" "See you at the club?" "Yes!" "You tell me all about it, okay?" "Black Magic for the lady..."