"[***]" "ALL:" "* It's time for Animaniacs *" "* And we're zany to the max *" "* So just sit back and relax *" "* You'll laugh Till you collapse *" "* We're Animaniacs *" "BOTH:" "* Come join The Warner brothers *" "* And the Warner sister, Dot *" "ALL:" "* Just for fun we run around The Warner movie lot *" "* They lock us in the tower Whenever we get caught *" "* But we break loose And then vamoose *" "* And now you know the plot *" "* We're Animaniacs *" "* Dot is cute and Yakko yaks *" "* Wakko packs away the snacks *" "* We pay tons Of income tax *" "* We're Animaniacs *" "* Meet Ralph And Dr. Scratchansniff *" "* Say hi to Hello, Nurse *" "* Goodfeathers flock together *" "* Slappy whacks 'em With her purse *" "* Buttons chases Mindy *" "* While Rita sings a verse *" "* The writers flipped We have no script *" "* Why bother to rehearse?" "*" "* We're Animaniacs *" "* We have pay-or-play Contracts *" "* We're zany to the max *" "* There's bologna In our slacks *" "* We're Animan-y *" "* Totally insane-y *" "* Hydroplane-y *" "* Animaniacs *" "* Those are the facts *" "And...we're clear." "Hey, great opening, you guys." "Thanks, Bill." "We couldn't do it without ya." "Bill, it's people like you working behind the scenes that almost won us an Emmy." "Here, have a bag of money." "Wow." "You guys are the greatest." "[ALL LAUGH]" "[***]" "Oh, those goody two-shoe Warners." "I'll get them." "But how, I'm wondering." "Why don't you send your warriors down there to fight the Warners?" "My warriors, of course." "That's quite a plan." "[ALL GRUNTING]" "Ah." "My warriors." "Do as I say and destroy the Warners." "Goodbye." "So long, Warners." "[ALL CACKLING]" "* And that's what we call Serendipity *" "* I-P-I-T-Y *" "Gosh." "That was great." "Thanks." "Here, have a bag of money." "Hey, I liked your song too." "Okay, sport." "Here's a fat-free yogurt." "[ALL GRUNTING]" "[SCREAMING]" "Looks like trouble." "Let's goof on 'em." "ALL:" "Right." "* Super strong Warner siblings *" "* Hey, hey, super sibs *" "[ALL GRUNTING]" "[ALL GRUNTING]" "ALL:" "Right." "REEVA:" "Curses." "Argh!" "My warriors have failed to destroy the Warners." "What should I do now, I'm wondering." "Why don't you send a giant monster down there?" "A monster." "Of course." "I'm wondering what kind, however." "Perhaps this bug will do." "You can use your powers to make it become a giant bug." "That's what I'm thinking anyway." "I agree with your plan." "Let's do as you say." "Look out, Warners." "[***]" "[CACKLES]" "YAKKO:" "Therefore, if we isolate the variable for the quantities unknown, we are left with a quadratic equation for which there are only two real roots:" "three, and a negative five." "It's that simple." "ALL:" "Ohhh." "[APPLAUSE]" "[BEEPING]" "Sounds like trouble." "To headquarters." "ALL:" "Right." "* Super strong Warner siblings *" "* Hey, hey, super sibs *" "ALL:" "Right." "What's up, Otto?" "Ooh." "There's a big bug on the lot." "[ALL GASP]" "Hey, what's wrong with your mouth?" "It's all fuzzy." "Now, listen here." "You must destroy the bug before it destroys the Warner Bros. studio." "ALL:" "Right." "YAKKO:" "Power of the blowfish." "WAKKO:" "Power of the anteater." "DOT:" "Power of the platypus." "[CROWD SCREAMING]" "Tower of power." "BOTH:" "Right." "* Super strong Warner siblings *" "* Hey, hey, super sibs *" "[ALL SCREAM]" "DOT:" "Let's get this show on the road." "ALL:" "Right." "[HEAVY FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] There." "ALL:" "Here we go." "ALL:" "Right." "ALL:" "Right." "REEVA:" "Curses again." "Ah, this never works." "Let's finish him off." "Right." "Right." "[MUTTERING ANGRILY]" "ALL:" "Right." "[***]" "Good job, super siblings." "We've saved the lot from harm." "Look what you've done to my lot." "Do you know how much it's gonna cost to rebuild it?" "Here." "Have a fat-free yogurt." "[SIGHS] [THUD]" "[***]" "Hey, kids." "Playing with giant bugs isn't cool." "If someone wants you to play with a giant bug just say" ""No, thanks."" "That's cool." "ALL:" "Right." "[***]" "[SIGHS]" "* She's a cranky old critter *" "* She's bitter We warn ya *" "* She lives in a tree house In Burbank, California *" "* Along with her nephew He says "spew" *" "* He's cheerful Then his aunt starts to rant *" "* She gives him an earful *" "* She's grumpy He's happy *" "* It's generation gap-y *" "* Take a whirl With the squirrels *" "* Skippy and Slappy *" "Ah, put a sock in it." "* That's my aunt, Slappy *" "[***]" "[SNORING]" "[RINGS]" "[KNUCKLES CRACKING]" "[SCREAMS]" "[***]" "Hold it." "Stop the music, there." "What's with the sappy music and the dancing?" "I don't do pathos, and I can't dance." "Don't ask me." "Wait a minute." "You look familiar." "Unappealing, but familiar." "Aunt Slappy, that's the director," "Charlton Woodchuck." "Baynarts?" "What are you doing here, you old son of a hack?" "It's Charlton." "It's written in my contract that when I was old enough," "I'd get to direct." "Yeah, Skippy has the same deal." "Love ya, babe, but we're losing our light." "What's with six minutes of opening a walnut?" "Don't you see?" "It's a parable about man against nature." "The nut represents the struggle to achieve our goals." "There." "My goal is achieved." "[SIGHS]" "Let me put it this way, Sloppy" "It's Slappy, Baynarts." "That's Charlton." "Either you do this script or you don't get paid." "Hit it, maestro." "[***]" "[RIBBITS]" "[RIBBITS]" "[RIBBITS]" "[PANTING]" "[SIGHS]" "[CRASHING]" "[CRYING]" "[ENGINE SPUTTERING]" "Hey, von Stroheim, there's no nut inside this shell." "Yes." "Exactly." "It's the emptiness of our existence." "That's symbolism." "That's metaphor." "Yeah, but that's not comedy." "Now there's a nut inside." "Now that's comedy!" "You're adorable, but that's my line." "[***]" "Wakko, what are you doing?" "Working on a gookie for the new season." "You know, something funny, like my old one." "What's wrong with your old gookie?" "Nothing." "I just wanna come up with something new." "Something fresh." "Okay." "[SNAPS]" "What do you think?" "Ahh, it's good, but it's not really a gookie, is it?" "It's more of a-- A shmookie or something." "Really?" "Oh, yeah." "Definitely a shmookie." "Where you going?" "Get some other opinions." "[***]" "Hm." "That's not a gookie." "A gookie's more like:" "What you're doing is that:" "I'd call that a mookie." "[SIGHS]" "Well, thanks." "Hey, isn't that wild?" "Look at that." "Hey, that's crazy stuff." "But wouldn't call it a gookie." "That face you're doing right there, that, uh, reminds me more of a Charlie Callas kind of chookie." "You know, like that:" "To be honest with you, kid, I'd stick with the old gookie." "Oh, yeah." "Well, it's delightfully charming, but not actually a gookie." "Spencer used to do a face very similar to that." "As I remember, he called it a zap-zip-zap-zippy." "Or some such thing." "[SLURPS]" "He had a way with words, that Spencer." "It looked a little like:" "Wakko's got a new gookie." "Let's see what America thinks." "Detroit, hello." "WOMAN:" "Yeah." "Really like the face, Wakko." "But I'd say it's more of a..." "A nookie." "You mean, like this?" "Exactly." "I gotta agree, Wakko." "Yuma, Arizona, hello." "MAN Hello, yeah, um..." "Okay, Wakko, I'm a big fan, but I'd have to say the face just isn't workin' for me, bro." "Sorry." "Burbank, California." "Hello." "MAN 2:" "Yeah, listen." "I already told that kid to stick to his old gookie." "Isn't that wild?" "Heh-heh." "[SIGHS]" "How'd it go?" "I don't understand it." "Nobody really liked my new gookie." "[SIGHS]" "You know, Wakko, just because something's new, that doesn't mean it's better." "Everyone likes your old gookie." "You should be proud of that and not want to change it just to come up with something new." "You really think people like my old gookie?" "Yes sirree, Bob-A-Roonie!" "What'd you say that for?" "Oh, well, I'm working on a new catch phrase." "Yes sirree, Bob-A-Roonie!" "Well, it's not really a catch phrase, is it?" "Okay." "Well, how about, uh," ""Got any ham?" Nah." "How 'bout, "I feel so free"?" "No." ""Don't laugh." "It's paid for"?" "Nah." ""My eyes are burning"?" "Nope." ""I always wear cowboy boots"?" "I don't think so." ""Looks like a pump, feels like a sneaker"?" "Oh, no!" ""Slap my fanny"?" "Steven won't like that one." "Don't worry, we've faded out by now." "[***]" "YAKKO:" "This is the city, Los Angeles, California." "On a starlit winter night, when the moon was shining bright, back in January of 1994, at 4:30 in the morning, and without a single warning, something strange began to move the floor." "* A quake, a quake *" "* The house begins to shake *" "* You're bouncing Cross the floor *" "* And watching All your dishes break *" "* You're sleeping There's a quake *" "* You're instantly awake *" "* You're leaping out of bed And shouting *" "Oh, for heaven's sake!" "* I ran outside with neighbors *" "* Their faces Filled with shock *" "* That's because I'm standing there *" "* In nothing but my socks *" "* Oh, a quake, a quake *" "* Say it's all a big mistake *" "* Just feel the ground Go up and down *" "* Won't someone hit the brake?" "A quake, a quake *" "* Oh, what a mess they make *" "* The bricks, the walls The chimney falls *" "* Destruction in its wake *" "* I did not have insurance *" "* So I called them From the scene *" "* And suddenly I'm listening to *" "* An answering machine say *" "* Too late, too late You shouldn't oughta wait *" "* 'Cause now you're stuck We wish you luck *" "* Here comes a 6.8 *" "* Who's fault?" "Who's fault?" "*" "* The San Andreas' fault *" "* 'Cause Mr. Richter Can't predict *" "* Her kicking our asphalt *" "* Seismologists all say *" "* Tectonic plates Are in between *" "* An encroaching Crustal mantle *" "* Yeah, so what the heck's That mean?" "*" "* It means a quake, a quake *" "DOT  WAKKO:" "* Oh, really, yeah, no fake?" "*" "* We kind of had that feeling *" "* When the ground Began to shake *" "* California's great It's such a lovely state *" "* And every lawn is sitting On a continental plate *" "* Los Angeles had fires And a riot, and a flood *" "* And then a drought And a recession *" "* And then now We hear this thud *" "* Of a quake, a quake *" "ALL:" "* How much more can we take?" "*" "* We thought that we had Seen it all *" "* But this one Takes the cake *" "* The dirt * * The rocks *" "* And all those aftershocks *" "ALL:" "* It's just the planet Moving granite *" "* Several city blocks *" "* L.A. town is falling down *" "* While the ground Moves around *" "* We won't let it get us down We're Californians *" "* A quake * * A quake *" "* It's time To pull up stake *" "* We're all fed up We can't deny it *" "* Fires quakes And floods and riot *" "ALL:" "* We want some place With peace and quiet *" "* So we're moving to Beirut *" "[***]" "[***]" "ALL:" "Go nuts!"