"GRETCHEN:" "Yes,Rodney,Iknow  the agreement is for two years." "The truth is, I'm on dialysis." "It's acute renal failure caused by sweat poisoning." "Strenuous exercise could literally kill me." "I'm with my doctor right now." "Let me put him on." "JIMMY:" "Oh,comeon." "(sighs)" "(Indian accent):" "This is" "Dr. Patel." "Look, between you and me, she's on her deathbed." "I told her to cancel her gym membership just to give her a purpose in her final hours." "What a tragedy to die so young having not accomplished anything in life." "GRETCHEN:" "Oh,thatguy ." "What a pessimist." "I'm gonna fight this thing!" "Thanks, Rodney." "You've been a delight." "JIMMY:" "Whydon'tyou just say, "I don't want to go to your dumb gym anymore?"" "GRETCHEN:" "BecauseIdon 't want Rodney out there judging me when I don't show up for 10:00 a.m. Pilates class." "JIMMY:" "You'veneverbeentoa 10:00 a.m. anything." "GRETCHEN:" "Myflight'ssoon." "Can we continue this when I come back from parental purgatory?" "JIMMY:" "Areyourfolksreally that awful?" "GRETCHEN:" "Justuptightand  lame." "They act like I don't have my shit together." "JIMMY:" "Thoseclothesaren't even fully dry." "GRETCHEN:" "I 'mgonnago borrow your toothbrush." "(Edgar sighs)" "JIMMY:" "Uh,thetrashgoes  from inside to outside, not the other way around." "EDGAR:" "Oh,I'vebeentrying this recycling thing." "If I save up enough money, I can buy Ambien from this Web site." "JIMMY:" "Isn'ttheV.A." "supposed to give you drugs for your... for your war brain stuff?" "EDGAR:" "I don'twanttouseup resources when there are vets out there with real problems." "JIMMY:" "You'retradingsoda cans for black market pharmaceuticals." "That is a problem." "EDGAR:" "Fine." "I'll go talk to them." "GRETCHEN:" "AndI'mout ." "JIMMY:" "Allright,justletme wash this mask off, and then we can go." "GRETCHEN:" "Oh,no ,no ,no ." "I'll just take an Uber." "JIMMY:" "I 'mheadedthat" "GRETCHEN:" "Jimmy,you'renot  driving me to the airport." "That's ridiculous." "JIMMY:" "Look,Ipromisethere will be no mushy, curbside stuff, okay?" "I won't even come to a complete stop." "You can just tuck and roll, all right?" "Give me a couple of minutes." "¶I 'mgonnaleaveyou anyway" "I'm gonna leave you anyway" "Gonna leave you anyway. ¶" "BECCA:" "YoucheatedonPaul ?" "!" "LINDSAY:" "Shh." "Don't whisper-yell at me!" "BECCA:" "Howcanyou evenlive  with yourself?" "LINDSAY:" "I can't!" "I feel so bad, I can't eat or watch any shows with adultery." "That's all my shows." "I'm getting nosebleeds from the guilt." "BECCA:" "Nosebleeds?" "LINDSAY:" "Also,Ilied." "I can totally eat." "WOMAN:" "Ladies,pleasekeepit down." "LINDSAY:" "It'snotfair." "You don't know what it's like to yearn for the touch of another." "BECCA:" "Jimmytriedtokiss  me." "LINDSAY( loudly):" "What?" "!" "BECCA:" "ButI..." "Oh, I said no... because I love my husband." "LINDSAY:" "Didyouwantto?" "BECCA:" "I tookavow ." "Marriage means being in it 24/7 from the moment when you wake up in the morning, and you see that red, curly happy trail, to at night when he rolls off of you and asks if you've had your "gazz" yet." "LINDSAY:" "Heasksyou afterhe rolls off you?" "BECCA:" "Thepointis, I restrain myself because I am not an animal." "After this class, you are gonna come clean with Paul." "LINDSAY:" "I can'ttellhim ." "BECCA:" "Lindsay,you'renot  gonna tell him?" "LINDSAY:" "Ow!" "Ow !" "Bec,stop!" "BECCA:" "Youneedmetomake you tell him?" "BECCA:" "Yougonnatellhim," "Lindsay?" "You gonna tell him?" "LINDSAY:" "Ow!" "BECCA:" "YouknowIcanmake you tell him, can make you!" "LINDSAY:" "No." "Fine!" "(whispers):" "Fine." "Fine, I'll tell him." "(gasps)" "BECCA:" "Youcancontinuethe yoga now." "¶ ¶" "¶I gotthree,fourgallons of Hennessy" "I got all my dawgs at the V.I.P... ¶" "JIMMY:" "Cheers." "Fellows!" "How is it?" "Yeah." "Are you here to see a black movie, as well?" "HONEYNUTZ:" "We justcallit a movie." "JIMMY:" "Where'sSam?" "SHITSTAIN:" "Hadameeting." "He's on the board of the" "Angelino Heights Restoration" "Committee." "HONEYNUTZ:" "Whatare you  doing here?" "JIMMY:" "I liketo yellout  character inconsistencies, structural flaws, and keep a general humorous running commentary." "This is the only place I can do that." "SHITSTAIN:" "Tobe fair,wedo like to go to Beverly Hills to see a Wes Anderson movie, so..." "HONEYNUTZ:" "Ilikeitwhen they clap for Bill Murray." "SHITSTAIN:" "Yeah,he 'sfunny." "HONEYNUTZ:" "Yeah,yeah." "SHITSTAIN:" "Okay,he 'sfunny." "JIMMY:" "I 'vejustdropped" "Gretchen off at the airport, as well, so I was in the hood anyway." "HONEYNUTZ:" "Wheredoesthat  bitch think she flying?" "We supposed to meet her ass tomorrow morning." "JIMMY:" "Oh,that'simpossible." "She's gone home for, like, a week." "SHITSTAIN:" "Hey,it 's" "Shitstain." "Where are you?" "Oh, oh, she's here." "Yeah, she's headed to the museum with her parents." "Yeah, yeah, Sam tried to drag us to that." "Heard the Rauschenberg pretty tight." "Okay, word." "HONEYNUTZ:" "Mm ." "Okay,soshe told you she was flying out of town?" "JIMMY:" "Yeah." "HONEYNUTZ:" "Andnow she ata  museum?" "SHITSTAIN:" "Whywouldshe lie  to you about seeing her folks?" "Have you met them?" "JIMMY:" "No." "HONEYNUTZ:" "Oh ,shit." "(laughs)" "SHITSTAIN:" "Yo." "HONEYNUTZ:" "Shetryingto hide you!" "SHITSTAIN:" "It'sjustlike" "Richie and Margot in The Royal" "Tenenbaums." "HONEYNUTZ:" "Right." "Shit." "Look, I wouldn't want to tell my mom I'm dating Draco Malfoy, either." "SHITSTAIN:" "Draco." "BOTH:" "Draco!" "SHITSTAIN:" "That's... (Honey Nutz laughs)" "Draco!" "It's butter in that?" "HONEYNUTZ:" "Oh ,yeah,there's butter in there." "Right." "SHITSTAIN:" "Oh,we good,we good." "EDGAR:" "So,forawhile,I started drinking generic vodka till I passed out, but then I'd still have the same nightmares, only in the dream, I'd be drunk and way less coordinated." "CASEWORKER:" "I amso sorry, brother." "EDGAR:" "Yeah,nowI'm scared to go to sleep because I wake up super angry." "CASEWORKER:" "Sleepto rage." "It's the worst." "I used to tell my wife to duct-tape pillows to my hands in case I woke up swinging." "(chuckles)" "EDGAR:" "So,my roommatesays that I have a serious problem, and that you guys should cover all my meds." "CASEWORKER:" "Usually,Ihave to turn down a lot of folks, but you seem like a perfect candidate for help." "Real quick, who is this roommate?" "EDGAR:" "Oh,Jimmy." "He's a novelist from Britain." "He lets me live with him in exchange for cooking and housework." "CASEWORKER:" "Youhaveajob?" "Tight." "It can be so tough for vets to" "EDGAR:" "Oh,no ,he doesn'tpay  me." "CASEWORKER:" "Cool." "So he thinks the U.S. government should cover your expenses..." "CASEWORKER:...whileyouwork for free?" "EDGAR:" "Oh,no ." "He's my best friend." "CASEWORKER:" "Cool." "Okay, very cool." "Soldier, have you ever heard of" "Domestic Civilian Transference" "Syndrome By Proxy?" "EDGAR:" "Mm-mm." "CASEWORKER:" "It'smy only copy, but trust me, it's highly true." "You need to nip this in the bud." "Tonight, you sit this so-called roommate down and you say, "Hey, man, I was in the shit while you were at home watching telly." "If my nightmares are too scary for you, maybe you need to pay for my meds!"" "EDGAR:" "Damnstraight." "CASEWORKER:" "Yeah,youtell him that." "EDGAR:" "I willtellhim that." "I will!" "Thank you." "CASEWORKER:" "You'rewelcome, soldier." "EDGAR( mutters):" "Watching telly... (muttering continues)" "CASEWORKER:" "Number97 ." "PAUL:" "You'rehome." "LINDSAY:" "Weneedtotalk  about something." "This has been eating away at me, but the fact is I realized I don't really know what you do all day." "(chuckles)" "Tell me about this... weird thing." "PAUL:" "Therecumbent?" "LINDSAY:" "Yeah." "How does it work?" "PAUL:" "Well,if youreally want the total experience, I can always pull out the tandem." "LINDSAY:" "Thewhatnow ?" "PAUL:" "A semi-reclined position provides broader distribution of body weight, and allows some better blood flow to the anus and testicles." "Aw, heck yeah!" "Here's the gang!" "Mimi, Connor, this is my wife" "Lindsay." "(chuckles)" "Last one to Starbucks is an uprighter!" "(groans loudly)" "We should let them win." "Connor's life-coaching business just went under, and Mimi has impetigo." "All right, here I come, Mimi." "Look out." "(bicycle bell dings)" "(chuckles)" "JIMMY:" "Niceuseofnegative space." "GRETCHEN:" "Whatareyou doing here?" "!" "JIMMY:" "Whatareyou doing here?" "I just dropped you at the airport!" "GRETCHEN:" "What?" "No, you didn't." "JIMMY:" "Yes,Idid ." "GRETCHEN:" "What?" "!" "Whatare you  talking about?" "No, that was a dream you had." "All right, fine." "This is so dumb." "So, I am waiting at the gate as they deplane the flight before mine, and all of a sudden, guess who gets off?" "My friggin' parents!" "And I'm like, "What?" "!" "I thought you guys wanted me to come visit."" "So dumb." "Gretchen, you nerd." "JIMMY:" "Stop." "GRETCHEN:" "Allright,Ilied ." "But Vanessa and Fred are such a bummer!" "I didn't want to subject you to their passive-aggressive shit." "JIMMY:" "Right,so youpacked and had me drop you off at the airport?" "GRETCHEN:" "DidIreallypack ?" "I just put some damp laundry and toilet paper into a suitcase." "Open your eyes, Jimmy." "JIMMY:" "Right,well,Ihave to meet the people that created this nightmare of a person." "GRETCHEN:" "Oh,Iwould,butwe have to leave." "I'm taking them to the airport." "JIMMY:" "I thoughtyoujust picked them up." "GRETCHEN:" "Itturnsout they can't stay." "Dad is having emergency back surgery tomorrow at Johns" "Hopkins." "He is having his L7 fused, and they just had a cancellation." "The procedure's experimental, but Dr. Pablo's the best, and a slot just opened up." "I am serious." "JIMMY:" "Mm." "Well,I'm not  leaving until you produce these monsters." "GRETCHEN:" "Allright." "You asked for it." "JIMMY:" "You'renotart ." "GRETCHEN:" "Jimmy?" "Vanessa and Fred." "MOM:" "Jimmy,hi ." "JIMMY:" "Hi." "MOM:" "Niceto meetyou ." "So sorry we have to run." "DAD:" "I 'mhavingasurgery," "Jimmy." "JIMMY:" "Yes." "Yes,Gretchen said." "Okay, good luck with that." "So glad I got to meet you." "So I'll see you later?" "GRETCHEN:" "Uh,nah,Ihave a work thing." "Call you tomorrow?" "JIMMY:" "Okay." "GRETCHEN( echoing):" "Mydad's having back surgery... at Johns Hopkins." "He's having his L7 fused." "Dr. Pablo's the best." "Back surgery..." "Johns Hopkins..." "Back surgery..." "Johns Hopkins..." "Back surgery..." "John Hopkins..." "Dr. Pablo..." "Procedure's experimental... experimental... experimental." "DAD:" "Well,theysaidthat  it's, like, all tropical plants they've got." "MOM:" "Oh,okay." "JIMMY:" "Whoareyou ?" "Where's Gretchen?" "MOM:" "Oh,look,hon ." "It's the guy with the accent." "DAD:" "Thatladysaidwewere on a hidden camera show." "What channel will this be on?" "MOM:" "Oh,Ibet it'snine ." "DAD:" "Four?" "No ,four,right?" "MOM:" "No." "No ,Ibet you aweek  of dishes it's channel nine." "DAD:" "Nine?" "!" "MOM:" "Nine." "Nine." "Nine." "DAD:" "Four." "Four." "Four." "PAUL:" "Andas Iliketosay, once you pedal on your back, you never go back." "To pedaling normally." "(chuckles)" "(Lindsay laughs weakly)" "LINDSAY:" "Thisis reallynice." "PAUL:" "Well,there'smore where that came from." "Were you serious about seeing what I do for fun?" "LINDSAY:" "Yes." "PAUL( laughs):" "Well,hold on to your hat." "(Lindsay groans)" "(engine sputtering)" "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached an altitude of 75 feet." "If you look out the right side of the plane, you can see the" "San Gabriels." "Those on the left can catch a glimpse of my beautiful wife" "Lindsay. (chuckles)" "DARREN( overradio):" "Paul, you know that sub-hundred elevation is for westbound traffic only." "PAUL:" "Rogerthat." "Sorry, Darren." "Climbing." "Did you know that four American presidents were home-brewers?" "Can you guess?" "George Washington, Thomas" "Jefferson, James Madison, and...?" "The answer is Barack Obama!" "Uh..." "Lindsay?" "LINDSAY:" "Huh?" "Oh." "I'm fine." "Keep talking beer." "(Paul sighs)" "EDGAR:" "Jimmy,we needto talk." "JIMMY:" "Gretchenwassoscared of me meeting her parents that she hired fake parents." "Am I really Draco Malfoy?" "EDGAR:" "I justtalkedtothe" "V.A., and..." "Am I just some unpaid servant who lives here for free?" "JIMMY:" "That'saconciseway of putting it." "EDGAR:" "Mycaseworkersays maybe you should be paying for my meds." "JIMMY:" "Right." "Listentome, my friend." "You bought into a long con." "Society screwed you over, and we owe you for that." "I, personally, do not owe you, but a sort of collective "we"" "does." "And you need your meds so you can shake off some of the damage done by Cheney's fictional yellowcake uranium." "So, you turn around, you go back to the V.A., and you demand your due!" "(Gretchen sighs)" "FRED:15,love." "Let's go, sweetie." "VANESSA:" "Gretchen,your backhand has completely disintegrated." "GRETCHEN:" "Sorry,Mommy." "VANESSA:" "Sevenyearsof training with Andrés for nothing. (scoffs)" "Ready?" "FRED:" "Youcandoit,sweetie." "GRETCHEN:" "Sorry,Mommy." "(Jimmy mouthing)" "JIMMY:" "Hello,darling." "Sorry I'm late." "Mwah." "Hello." "I'm Jimmy Shive-Overly." "Gretchen's boyfriend." "FRED:" "Oh,well,hello." "I'm Fred." "VANESSA:" "Vanessa." "Please join us." "In her typical way, Gretchen has told us nothing about you." "JIMMY:" "Ugh!" "(chuckles)" "Milk." "Gretchen-- always ordering milk." "Sometimes double milks." "I actually sometimes wonder if maybe she drinks too much milk." "(Jimmy laughs)" "VANESSA:" "So,Jimmy,whereare you from?" "GRETCHEN:" "London." "The fancy part." "FRED:" "Andwhatdoyoudo?" "GRETCHEN:" "He'sanovelist." "Published, very well-regarded." "Jimmy..." "VANESSA:" "And,Gretchen, you're still doing that music thing?" "FRED:" "Who'sthatskinnyboy you represent?" "JIMMY:" "Shitstain?" "GRETCHEN:" "No!" "Josh Groban is who he meant." "VANESSA:" "Howdidyou two  meet?" "GRETCHEN:" "Atafund-raiser." "It was... animal-related." "FRED:" "Ah,Gretchendoesso much charity work." "JIMMY:" "Oh,shedoeslove  animals." "Tell your mom how you got your cat." "GRETCHEN:" "Jimmy,it wasso nice of you to stop by, but I know you have that meeting." "I'll walk you out." "VANESSA:" "Whatmeeting?" "GRETCHEN:" "Movieproducers." "From Hollywood." "They are turning his book into a movie starring Zach Braff and that woman from the show you like." "VANESSA:" "Scandal?" "GRETCHEN:" "Yes,Scandal." "Jimmy, I bet that driver has been waiting outside for a while now." "You should go." "JIMMY:" "Okay." "Nice to meet you both." "Okay, none of this is true." "I'm not from the fancy part of" "London, I'm from the bad part of Manchester." "GRETCHEN:" "Stop." "JIMMY:" "I aman author." "Talented but wildly underappreciated." "I had to follow Gretchen here today, only to witness her mother bullying her during a tennis match." "You're right about her backhand, by the way-- it's appalling." "VANESSA:" "You'retellingme how to speak to Gretchen?" "JIMMY:" "You'veneverspokento the real Gretchen." "The real Gretchen runs publicity for some of the biggest rap acts in town." "The real Gretchen doesn't drink milk or take ballet classes." "In fact, she just cancelled her gym membership so she'd have money for cigarettes." "FRED:" "Yousmoke?" "JIMMY:" "Sure,shehasn'tbeen  to the dentist in years and lives off 7-Eleven hot dogs, but she is brave and spontaneous." "And that Gretchen is so paralyzed with the fear of disappointing you that you don't actually know her at all." "I feel sorry for you two." "You will never know the brilliant, beautiful mess that is your daughter." "(Gretchen chuckles nervously)" "GRETCHEN:" "Daddy,I..." "FRED:( sighs)Justtakeus back to our hotel." "And... finish your milk." "CASEWORKER:" "I reallywishI could help, but funds are tight." "Congress wants to pay for the war, not the casualties." "EDGAR:" "I 'mnotaskingfor a medal or a parade, just a good night's sleep." "(caseworker sighs)" "CASEWORKER:" "Uncle!" "Igivein." "(chuckles) I will fill out your paperwork and find the money for your meds." "EDGAR:" "Thankyou." "CASEWORKER:" "Whereis it that you're living?" "EDGAR:" "Uh,SilverLake." "CASEWORKER:" "SilverLake." "Ooh-la-la." "Hey, Jerry, bad news, you're gonna have to turn in your hook." "JERRY:" "But-butIuse itto pick things up." "CASEWORKER:" "No,man." "Stuff's gonna stay on the ground." "This hipster's having bad" ""dweams."" "EDGAR:" "I didn't..." "(gunfire over TV)" "(knocking)" "GRETCHEN:" "Whywouldyou do that?" "!" "My dad didn't say another word to me in the car, and now they're changing their flight so they leave tomorrow!" "What is wrong with you?" "!" "JIMMY:" "Sorry,wouldn'tyou  rather have a fractured, combative relationship with your parents that's based on truth than this pleasant artificial relationship based on lies?" "GRETCHEN:" "No." "JIMMY:" "Well,thenyou  should've been more explicit about that." "GRETCHEN:" "They'remy family!" "I get to lie to them till I'm old and they're dead, and you don't get a vote!" "I would never tell your dad to read your book." "JIMMY:" "Yeah,becausehe wouldn't let you through the door 'cause you're a redhead and he's hated the Irish ever since the IRA blew up his favorite chip shop." "Look, I'm sorry." "Forgive me for valuing honesty." "GRETCHEN:" "Thisis aboutyou  controlling and bullying everybody to behave the way you think they should." "I knew you were insensitive and manipulative, but you're mean," "Jimmy." "You're a mean person." "JIMMY:" "Well,at leastIam a  person!" "(sniffles)" "¶ ¶" "JIMMY:" "Hey,um ..." "GRETCHEN:" "I 'mdone." "I'm tagging out." "JIMMY:" "What?" "Of-of this argument?" "GRETCHEN:" "No,Jimmy." "Of this." "I told you I don't do relationships, and yet here we are in one." "I feel..." "I feel like this train is speeding up, and this may be my last chance to hop off before any serious injury." "JIMMY:" "SpeakEnglish." "GRETCHEN:" "Good-bye,Jimmy." "Sorry!" "You're right, I'm not a person." "(door slams)" "PAUL:" "Thosethreestarsare" "Orion's Belt." "See how he looks like a man with a club?" "(Australian accent):" "G'day," "Linds." "I'm Orion, the mighty hunter." "(both laugh)" "Hmm." "What was that for?" "LINDSAY:" "Nothing." "Just... you." "You weirdo." "(phone chimes)" "(gasps)" "I'm sorry." "I have to go." "Gretchen needs me." "Thanks for the day." "Have fun with your stars." "PAUL:" "They'reeveryone's stars." "(door opens, closes)" "EDGAR:" "Where'sGretchen?" "And why are you cooking?" "JIMMY:" "It'sover." "Lasted longer than anyone would've guessed, huh?" "EDGAR:" "No." "What happened?" "JIMMY:" "Uh,canwenottalk about it?" "I-I need to just... just not." "(sighs)" "You hungry?" "EDGAR:" "Yeah,I-Icouldeat." "JIMMY:" "Nogo on thepills, huh?" "EDGAR:( scoffs)Nope." "JIMMY:" "We'llgo downthere tomorrow and sort it out." "EDGAR:" "R-Really?" "Thanks." "JIMMY:" "I haveno ideahow to cook." "EDGAR:" "Whathaveyou been doing all this time?" "JIMMY:" "Just,uh ,stirring ketchup in a pan." "EDGAR:" "Okay." "Okay." "Um... that's a good base." "JIMMY:" "Yeah?" "EDGAR:" "Yeah." "Uh, pinch of salt, throw it in there." "JIMMY:" "Pinch-pinchof salt." "EDGAR:" "Andthenadd alittle bit of, uh, olive oil, two, three counts worth." "Now stir it in." "Stir it in nice and gently." "And, uh, keep stirring, keep stirring." "¶ And may" "I call you baby?" "For the rest" "¶ Of my days?" "¶ And do" "You think I'm crazy... ¶" "Captioned by" "MediaAccessGroupatWGBH  access.wgbh.org"