"Previously on "The L.A Complex"" "Eddie:" "You had a threesome with the Donovan twins?" "You can't tell anybody" " because we will all get fired." " Okay." "Donald:" "This a family show, family values." "Abby:" "There seems to be another twosome developing in our threesome." "Laura:" "The threesome is over!" "Celebrity halfway house - there's an opening on the show." "I think you should do it." "I get it." "The show needs a bitch." "It's just..." "It's not gonna be me." "I'm recasting myself." "If you wanna get cast as a bad boy, you have to start pissing people off." "Connor:" "Who is that- an ex-boyfriend?" "My husband." "And earned my begrudging respect." "How's my rent money coming?" "We're working on it." "You know what?" "We quit!" "We needed that job!" "I hate you!" "Simon!" "We can't afford both of you, so whoever's not funny enough I'll just fire." "Who?" "Infinite Jest." "Him and his crew are all over YouTube." "Let's go right now, you and me." "Kaldrick:" "I think I'm ready to change too." "So which direction do you wanna go?" "(Heavy breathing)" "Dawna:" "It's okay..." "It's okay." "Kaldrick:" "I better go." "Dawna:" "No, no, no." "Okay, we don't have to do anything." "Kaldrick:" "I'll see you at the mission later." "Dawna:" "(Sighs heavily)" "♪" "Good morning." "Good morning." "Wow." "This looks..." "What's going on?" "Just open it." "♪ A little game of cat and mouse ♪" "I don't get it." "It's tradition." "It's... what?" "As I understand it, before an execution, you give a man a conjugal visit, his last meal and a smoke." "Execution?" "You..." "Today's the day." "Scott chooses which one of us is gonna get cut loose." "And you think- dead man walking." "Don't let it get cold." "♪ Only the unlucky of us get to do it ♪" "Can you pass these down." "Connor:" "Here." "Eric:" "Thank you." "What're all these for?" "Eric:" "Uh, this one makes you big, this one makes you small, and I think this one breaks the matrix." "Jennifer:" "They're supplements, and they're good for you- both of you." "Yes, mother." "Here." "Don't forget about these." "Eric:" "Hey!" "You too?" "I was wondering why you seemed so naturally un-anxious." "Jennifer:" "Okay, I'm gonna take a shower and get ready for my meeting at Dreamworks." "Um, Lydia's not coming today - can you get the dishes, Eric?" "Eric:" "I'm all over it." "You're washing, kid." "Connor:" "Why should I?" "Eric:" "Respect for your elders." "Plus, I got dishpan hands." "(Connor groans)" "We gotta get some groceries later." "These sides are pretty good, hey?" "Some really funny stuff in there." "It's nice that Cam's gonna film the audition for us." "You like him - him and Kevin?" "Aren't they sweet?" "So, what, you giving me the silent treatment?" "Can you just look at me for a second?" "Simon, I'm sorry you don't agree with me pulling you from the show yesterday, but I still think it was the right- let's just do this." "And then Paul looks to Eban and Eban's like..." "Scott and Sabrina:" "Please don't say marbles!" "(Everyone laughs)" "Scott:" "Yeah, that's hilarious!" "Put that on the board for sure!" "(Cell phone dings)" "Oh... oh wow." "Okay, uh..." "I need..." "I need fifteen minutes." "Okay, everybody take a break." "Nick!" "Come over here!" "You gotta check this out." "(Laughs) Look at that." "Right?" "What?" "That's..." "Right?" "Nick:" "I don't think she'd want you showing me that." "Scott:" "Oh, she would not." "I'm gonna get some air." "Nick:" "What is that even about?" "Is that..." "Yeah." "Nick:" "Which way is that even..." "Scott:" "That's her upside down?" "(Knocking)" "Hi." "I just wanted to check in on you and make sure you were okay." "Well, I've been better." "(Door shuts)" "I can't believe how brutal Ricky was yesterday." "Zach:" "Yeah." "This whole thing's been pretty rough." "It's just dredging up a whole bunch of things" "I haven't thought about in years." "Yeah, I hear ya." "I hardly slept last night." "I had this nightmare my mom came into my room and she started strangling me 'cause I wasn't making enough money." "God." "She used to beat the crap out of me when I was a kid..." "Then my voice broke, and..." "The jobs dried up, and..." "She just stopped paying attention to me altogether." "Wow." "I thought I had unsupportive parents, but I have never been through anything like that." "Sorry, I didn't mean to just..." "Like unload on you like that." "Oh, no, no, no." "It's okay." "Don't be sorry." "You're gonna get through this." "You know, I feel like you're the only one here who actually really cares." "Raquel:" "Well, I don't know if that's true..." "She's good." "(Buzzer blares)" "Nick:" "Hey!" "I think we're gonna get started again." "What's wrong?" "Do you have any idea how hard it is to be a girl-comedian in this city?" "I- what?" "Do you know how many times I've called around, trying to get up and perform just to be told," ""hey, we already have a girl tonight, maybe some other time""" "they ever tell you that?" "Well, no, I mean- like I finally get some momentum going, and then this thing comes up and I look around and I realize..." "I'm the only lady-writer in the room, and I think, "great, there's no way they're gonna fire the only girl on staff," "I'm safe for sure"" "yeah, and you're gonna get it." "Yeah, you really think he's gonna pick me over his new whoring buddy, Nick Wagner?" "Oh, that's got nothing to do with it." "It doesn't?" "Then why do you go?" "'Cause you love whores so much?" " Hey, wait a minute" " Scott, is the exact reason why there are no women writers in late night." "This is stupid, okay?" "He hasn't even chosen yet!" "You're getting so angry about losing a job you're probably gonna get." "'Cause otherwise we're both gonna get fired." "God, girls are so sensitive." "Ow!" "Sorr- hi!" "Ow!" "Sorry." "(Abby quietly goes through her lines)" "Sorry." "(Low hum of set chatter)" "Hey... hey." "Could I talk to you for a second?" "Uh, could we maybe do it later?" "I just want to apologize for what happened yesterday" "Laura:" "Okay." "Abby:" "And..." "Laura:" "Okay." "(Angry whisper) What the hell is wrong with you?" "Why don't you just take out an ad in variety?" "Abby:" "I wasn't..." "Hey, listen, I just think that we should talk about it" "I don't want to talk to you, Abby, okay, especially here." "Okay, Laura, Brandon and I didn't..." "I-I'm really sorry." "Did you really think you could just apologize and we'd be cool again?" "Is that what you thought?" "Are you insane?" "You're a monster, Abby, and I never wanna talk to you again." "I'm gonna do everything in my power to get you fired from this show." "(Shower runs)" "(Door shuts)" "(Knocks on wall) Ricky!" "Hey!" "What're you doing in here?" "Oh!" "Did you...?" "You wanna come on in?" "No." "That's gross." "I've run out of places to talk to you of the record, and I think I've come up with a way for you to rattle that Zach kid." "Ricky:" "Oh, okay." "Raquel:" "If you go hard at him about his mom, he's gonna freak!" "Look, I think that's a bit harsh coming at the kid about his mom." "He has some legitimate problems there- oh, come on!" "We're all here for the same reason, and it's to get famous again." "If he wanted to get well, he wouldn't be doing it on television." "Hey!" "The plan was you were gonna be the Alpha who breaks people down and I was gonna be the warm friend who puts them back together again." "I'm all for being the Alpha, but I don't wanna be seen as a bully, okay?" "Nobody likes bullies." "I think what we're doing is fine- you know what?" "Stop thinking, honey." "It's never been your strong suit." "His issues are gonna rise to the surface anyway - you can either let Andrea exploit them or you do it yourself." "No, you listen to me." "I am not gonna attack another child star unprovoked because I will look like a douche." "He has gotta come at me and then I get to be like, "whoa, whoa!"" "And then I'm just defending myself." " Yeah!" " No!" "He's gotta instigate." "What makes you think Zach is ever gonna instigate anything?" "I dunno, thinking's not my strong suit." "Listen, you wanna pick up the pieces after I tear them down, then this is the way it's gotta be." "He's gotta come at me, okay?" "That wasn't the plan." "It is now." "Director:" "And..." "Action!" "Brandon:" ""But you're not alone." "You've got God and you've got me," ""and you can always talk to either one of us."" "Director:" "And cut!" "Thank you." "Let's check that!" "Brandon:" "Do you have a second?" "(Clears throat)" "Thank God, I thought you were gonna freeze me out too." "Laura is being a complete- you need to stay away from her, okay?" "You need to stay away from both of us." "Why?" "Just because we" "There's no "we" anymore, Abby." "There's no "we""" " We can't even be friends?" "No." "Listen, if we're doing a scene together, we say our lines, we be professional about it, and that's where it ends, all right?" "I'm sorry." "Abby:" "She's trying to get me fired!" "Could you at least just" "Brandon:" "Just stay away from her." "Stay away from both of us." "I don't know what else there is to say." "I'm sorry." "Brandon!" "(Cart whirs as it takes off)" "(Cell phone buzzes)" "Kaldrick:" "Hello?" "Stohn:" "It's Stohn." "We've got a problem." "Christopher:" "My client was brutally beaten and publicly disgraced at a social gathering" "Kaldrick:" "That he wasn't invited to." "Stohn:" "Let him finish." "Christopher:" "A social gathering at Mr. King's home, and not only did your client do nothing to stop the violence" "Kaldrick:" "The hell I'm supposed to do to stop the violence?" "!" "Christopher:" "But according to multiple signed eye-witness depositions, he actually encouraged it." "My client is seeking one million dollars in damages" "For what?" "!" "A couple punches?" "!" "Infinite jest:" "It's called pain and suffering, bitch!" "Christopher:" "Shut up!" "However, we are offering Mr. King a one-time chance to settle this matter out of court." "Oh, what do you have in mind?" "Two hundred thousand dollars and no one ever has to know." " Let me confer with my clie" " No deal." "Christopher:" "I suggest you take a moment with your counsel, sir" "Kaldrick:" "Entering and occupying someone's residence without their permission..." "What the California penal code call that?" "(Awkward chuckle) Trespassing." "And if someone's trespassing on my property..." "Well, the property owner has the right to use "reasonable force."" "Look at the size of my client, Mr. King." "Do you honestly think the force was reasonable?" "Infinite Jest:" "Hey!" "(Laughing)" "And that's your argument?" "Be real, man, your client doesn't want this to go public." "Infinite Jest:" "Why not?" "I ain't got nothin' to hide!" "Kaldrick:" "No?" "Infinite Jest:" "Mm-mm." "Didn't you get your ass whuped pretty bad by my crew?" "Stohn:" "Allegedly!" "Kaldrick:" "And you want the public to know that?" "And you're trying to settle this beef through litigation?" "It's not a good look for you, bra." "Infinite Jest:" "Man, I don't give a damn what people think - you're the one with the rep to protect." "Maybe I should start doing some digging in your life, and see what I come up with." "Hold up." "Kaldrick:" "Look, kid, I ain't scared of you," "I ain't intimidated by you, don't know you, don't like you, don't care about you." "I don't even think about you unless you're right in front of me..." "And even here, your lawyer's got better verbal skills than you do." "Hell, you want a record deal?" "So sue me, chump." "I won't even feel it." "Jennifer:" "Okay, I'll be back later this afternoon." "What're you doing?" "Connor:" "Did you know these were in here?" "Uh-huh." "The three of us should have a games night." "Jennifer:" "Eric's not staying another night." "What?" "Why?" "Jennifer:" "Um, I'm telling him he has to leave as soon as I get back from this meeting." "I hope this isn't because of me." "'Cause I really don't mind him being here." "No, no, no." "It's not because of you." "I've just been down this road with him way too many times." "He wants to get better this time." "Yeah, and he wanted to get better last time too." "That one ended with his car at the bottom of my swimming pool." "There's no getting better with Eric." "There's just the calm before the storm." "But he has nowhere else to go." "Yeah." "You ever wonder why that is?" "Why do you care?" "I don't know..." "I like him." "I just..." "Just let him stay a couple more nights." "I think that I can get through to him." "Okay." "A couple more nights." "I hope you're okay with disappointment." "And then Paul finally announces he's entering rehab because he's become addicted to the Clark bars and sadly, they've only furnished him with a week's supply." "Scott: (Laughing) Nice, nice." "Excellent." "Great, man." "Yeah." "I thought this product placement thing was gonna kill us, but Nick..." "In with the save!" "Nice work, buddy." "It's uh..." "Actually, it was..." "Sabrina and I were thinking about a similar bit." "It's kinda both of our idea." "Oh... okay." "Uh, nice work, guys." "Uh, no, it wasn't." "What?" "Yeah, it was." "I don't want credit for your lame jokes." "You can keep 'em to yourself, thanks." "Scott:" "Okay!" "Well, whoever's idea it was," "I liked it." "Let's get Paul in here, see what he thinks." "Hey!" "We're ready for you." "Director:" "Okay!" "Quick scene." "Let's get it done, chief, okay?" "Roll 'em!" "And... action!" ""I love you, Veronica." "How can you not feel that?"" "Director:" "The line, Abby, come on!" "Abby:" "Sorry, sorry." "Director:" "From the top, again!" "Let's go!" "Action!" "Brandon: "I love you, Veronica." "How can you not feel that?"" ""This whole thing has just really scared me."" "Director:" "Scarred!" "The line is scarred!" "Abby:" "Scarred." "Director:" "Scarred." "The line is scarred." "From the top!" "Again!" "And..." "Action!" "Brandon: "I love you, Veronica." "How can you not feel that?"" "Saying Grace director:" "Come on, Brandon, give her a real kiss, man!" "From the top, please!" "Keep rolling..." "Action!" ""I love you, Veronica, how can you not feel that""" ""this whole thing has just really scared me."" "Laura: (Shrieking) Come on!" "Are you freaking kidding me?" "!" "Cut!" "I know what you're doing!" "You don't think I know what you're doing?" "!" "I will crucify you!" "Do you hear me, bitch?" "Laura:" "I will crucify you." "Brandon:" "Laura, shut up!" "Laura:" "You shut up!" "1st a.D.:" "Guys!" "Donald is watching!" "He has a feed in his office." "(Cell buzzes)" "Yes?" "Yes, sir." "Of course." "Donald wants to see all of you in his office- all of you." "Beth:" "Thanks so much for letting us use your camera." "Hey, no problem." "I'm happy to help." "Kevin:" "Well, technically, it's my camera." "Okay, you ready, Simon?" "And..." "Rolling." ""Let me talk to your parents."" "Simon: (Emotionless) "I told you, they're in Morocco." "You got problems, you gotta tell 'em to me," ""or they gonna stay problems." "Capiche?"" "Let's cut." "Uh, just hold on one sec." "You tired, buddy?" "You gotta give it a little more energy, right?" "It's a comedy, remember?" "Okay." "Okay." "Good." "Sorry about that." "Let's try again." "All right." "And... action." "Kevin: "Let me talk to your parents."" "Simon: (Emotionless) "I told you, they're in Morocco." "You got problems, you gotta tell 'em to me," ""or they gonna stay problems." "Capiche?"" "Um..." "Look, Kevin and Cam have gone out of their way to help us, the least you could do is try." "What's the point?" "You'll just pull me from the show anyway!" "Simon, they were mistreating you." "No they weren't, they were mistreating you!" "You just care about yourself!" "The only reason you want me to do this audition is so you can flirt with your boyfriend!" "Simon!" "Simon:" "We needed that job, Beth!" "If I don't work, how are we supposed to make enough money to get to dad in Alaska?" "You think..." "Simon, that's..." "I was trying to protect you." "Well stop it!" "You're not my mom!" "I hate you!" "I hate you!" "(Door bangs shut)" "♪" "Eric:" "Hey, kid!" "Who's up for an ocean swim, huh?" "Connor:" "I think it's pretty rough out there, and I've gotta memorize this." "Eric:" "Ugh!" "Boring!" "Come on, man, she still have those boogie boards?" "Connor:" "Are you-?" "Hey!" "Eric:" "What?" "Connor:" "I thought we hid all the booze." "Eric: (Laughs) Well, apparently not very well." "Connor:" "She can't see you like this." "Eric:" "Okay, well, I guess I better leave, right?" "Eric!" "Eric!" "Agh!" "I just fought to keep you here and now- no, you're gonna stay, and we're gonna sober you up, and then she doesn't need to know about this." "Hey, you said it yourself:" "She doesn't want me around, right?" "She just- aggghhhh!" "This is okay, we can fix this." "(Vase smashes)" "That vase belonged to her parents." "Can you fix it now?" "Why are you doing this?" "See you around, kid." "Give 'em back, man." "Give 'em back." "No." "I'm not letting you ruin this." " Give me the keys, Connor!" " No." "I am not kidding around." "Give me the keys, now!" "Connor:" "No!" "Eric:" "Give me the keys, man!" "Oh, for real?" "What're you doing?" "Get outta the car, Connor!" "Get out!" "What're you gonna do, just sit there all day?" "Give me the keys." "Connor!" "Connor!" "Give me the keys!" "I'm not- don't turn it on." "(Car starts up)" "Connor, turn it off." "Turn it off!" "Connor, what're you doing!" "Don't go past the driveway!" "Do not- Connor, do not go any- where do you think you're going?" "(Truck rumbles away)" "Apparently stealing my car." "Great." "Hi." "Zach:" "Hey..." "Hey, don't worry about it, okay?" "Don't listen to him, it's not true." "Don't worry about what?" "Oh... sorry," "I thought it got back to you." "Don't- don't listen to me." "What got back to me." "(Sighs)" "Okay, Ricky has been telling everyone that you don't belong here." "That you're faking your addiction and you're gonna get cut out of the show because nobody cares about you." "Who cares what Ricky thinks?" "Well, I don't..." "Obviously." "Here." "You want this?" "It's black." "You take it black, right?" "Look, everyone else is starting to listen to him;" "that's..." "That's all that worries me." "Maybe it's time to stop letting people walk all over you." "You know?" "Isn't that what got you here in the first place?" "Zach:" "Move!" "(Struggles with door)" "(Laughing) Oh... man...." "Christopher:" "Mister King, could I have a word?" "Stohn:" "I think we've made our position very clear." "Just a quick word - off the record." "My client's an idiot." "(Laughs) So drop the case then." "I just did." "He says he's just gonna find someone else." "Let him." "Look, the truth is he can't afford this." "I took him on pro Bono, but the next guy won't." "So what do you care?" "He's gonna go broke filing these little nuisance suits just to get your attention." "He wants my attention he should've tried something else." "You don't wanna pay him off, that's fine." "But do me a favor, consider mentoring him." "Do you a favor?" "Yeah." "Why not?" "First of all, the kid don't want me to mentor him- if you were to show him a little kindness- that's not how we do things." "No, I'm familiar with how you do things, and that's how we got here." "The kid has a lot of energy." "If it doesn't get channeled in the right direction" " I really feel" " Sets the wrong precedent." " All right." " Thank you for your time." "That's it?" "You won't help him, you won't help him." "Can't say I didn't try." "(Knocking on door)" "Beth:" "Simon, come on." "Open the door." "I got you a soda." "Do you want it?" "I want to go live with dad." "You can't go live with dad, Simon." "Simon:" "Why?" "Because... he's in Alaska." "I don't know if he's found a job yet." "I don't wanna live with you anymore." "Call dad, tell him to come get me." "He can't come get you, Simon." "Simon:" "Then maybe he can buy me a ticket and I'll fly to him." "Call him." "I wanna talk to him." "Beth:" "He's not gonna answer." " Call him!" " He left us!" "Okay?" "He abandoned us, and he's gone." "Don't you get it?" "No!" "You called him before!" "You said you call him." "And he doesn't answer, Simon." "He hasn't picked up for six months!" "You're lying!" "Why would I lie?" "!" "Do you think this is what I want?" "He wouldn't do that!" "He did do that, Simon, and part of you knows that he did!" "He's my dad, he loves me." "He does love you, Simon, he just..." "He wasn't the same after mom died." "He loves you, he just- where are you going?" "Out." "You can't go out by yourself, you're too young." "I'm so sick of you!" "I'm so sick of being around you!" "I can't ever be by myself!" "Beth:" "Okay!" "I'll go outside for a little bit." "How about that?" "This is for you whenever you want it." "Simon, I'm really sorry." "Nick:" "Hey, what did he say" "Scott:" "Ugh..." "Those are always fun." "Come on, let's go." "Nick:" "What happened?" "Scott:" "You got the job, hotshot." "Congratulations." "I figured it was mean to make her work for the rest of the day since I already made up my mind." "Thanks." "Come on." "Nick, come on!" "Chop-chop!" "Ricky:" "This is the reality, lady, what are you, aries?" "Cancer, actually." "(Conversing quietly)" "Why don't you just stop talking about me whoa!" "Behind my back." "You don't think my problems are real?" "You yon't think I deserve to be here?" "Ricky:" "Uh..." "Uh... no, I don't think you deserve to be here, Zach, but not because your problems aren't real, okay?" "It's because they're boring." "Yeah, see, you were never interesting and you were never good." "You were cute, once, you made some money off it - so what?" "I was good." "Ricky:" "Were ya?" "Is that why your mom checked out on you?" "'Cause she saw all the long-term earning potential?" "Yeah, you can say whatever you want about her, Zach, but she was smart;" "she knew when it was over." "Hmm?" "'Cause it's over." "When are you gonna realize that?" "You're over." "Ricky:" "Oh!" "Raquel:" "Zach!" "Ricky: (Laughs) Raquel:" "Zach!" "Ricky!" "What the hell was that all about?" "I'm learning him!" "Uh..." "Raquel:" "If anyone knows what that kid is going through, it's you!" "Yeah!" "No." "No, no." "Uh..." "Why don't you try being a real man and help him out instead of being a bully?" "Bully!" "Ricky:" "Uh... not a bully!" "He instigated with me, so..." "Ricky!" "We are all here to get well..." "Girl:" "Yeah!" "Raquel:" "Okay?" "We're not here to tear each other down..." "Girl:" "No!" "We're here to build each other up." "Nick:" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Wait!" "Sabrina!" "Nick, I don't wanna talk to you right now." "I'm sorry, okay?" "You should've gotten it." "Yeah, you tell Scott that?" "It's only one job." "It's- you're amazing, you'll find something better." "Plus, you really wanna work for a guy like Scott?" "I really wanna work." "I don't care who for." "Sabrina- look, I don't wanna talk about this with you!" "I'm not super-happy with you right now, Nick!" "Wait, you can't take this out on me." " Uh, yes I can." " Hey, hey..." "I don't want this to affect what we have going here." "A little late for that, buddy." "Are you serious?" "Hey, if I'd been fired today, I wouldn't be mad with you." "Because I would've earned it." "Sabrina... (Door bangs shut, car starts up and pulls away)" "(Truck rumbles up the driveway)" "Finally!" "Can I have my keys back, please?" "You were gone so long I actually had time to sober up." "It's not the same." "It's close enough." "It'll do." "She'll never know the difference." "How much did it cost?" "Eric, I..." "She needs you." "I get the sense that she's been feeling really lonely lately, and..." "I think she could use some family right now." "Let's face it, we all could." "So we'll just..." "We'll clean up the mess, and we'll put this vase on the shelf, pretend it's the old one." "No one..." "Okay?" "We can make this work." " Eric" " Relax, kid." "Just getting a broom." "(Laughs)" "(Loud splash)" "I thought he knew." "I mean didn't he ever wonder why he never talked to our dad on the phone?" "Or why he never sent us money?" "He's ten." "Kids believe what you tell them." "I should've just been honest with him from the beginning." "You were trying to protect him." "I messed up." "I've never seen him this mad at me before." "Well, he's a kid;" "he'll probably forget by tomorrow, right?" "I also might've pulled him from a shoot yesterday." "Might have?" "I did." "Okay, that you should apologize for." "You didn't see how they were treating him." "You know there's like a thousand page manual for how they're supposed to treat kids on set." "I'm sure he was okay." "I am not cut out for this." "You're doing a great job." "He's an amazing kid." "That's all you." "It just sucks being alone down here, you know?" "Well, you're not." "(Phone rings) Sorry, I- just a sec." "Hello?" "Speaking." "Great!" "Yeah." "Just text me the info and" "Okay." "Great." "Thank you." "Simon got a callback for that Bill Nye thing!" "Hey!" "Amazing!" "This is perfect!" "He's gonna- he really wanted this one." "I'm gonna get us some burgers and tell him." "And Beth?" "Yeah?" "Apologize." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Donald:" "What is going on?" "Laura, your on-set behavior lately has been completely unacceptable." "Laura:" "I'm sorry, Donald." "It's just you've ingrained such a diligent and noble work ethic into us, that when I see a guest at the show come in and not work as hard," "I get very emotional." "Not work as hard?" "Laura:" "You were unprepared." "You kept messing up your lines." "It's unprofessional, and it's not the first time." "Brandon?" "Brandon:" "Um..." "She was having trouble with her lines." "Wait." "Wait a minute!" "Donald:" "Abby, this very disappointing." "It's a privilege to be on a television show and not everybody is cut out for it, so if you can't handle" "Abby:" "I'm sleeping with Laura and Brandon." "At first it was all three of us, and then Brandon and I slept together without Laura and she lost her mind, okay?" "If I'm gonna get fired, it's not gonna be because I'm unprofessional." "I wasn't gonna fire you." "(Clears her throat)" "Donald:" "Is this true?" "Laura and Brandon:" "No!" "Why would I make that up?" "!" "Because you're a pathological liar, Abby." "She told me that her brother has cancer and that's the reason that she's always late." "It turns out that she doesn't even have a brother." "Is your brother really sick?" "Abby:" "No!" "I don't have a brother!" "Laura:" "See?" "Donald:" "You know, this was a calm and functioning family until you got here, Abby." "And now it's threesomes, and deviant sex, deception..." "There is no place for that on television." "That's why we all have morality clauses in our contracts- that clause is insane, okay?" "Nobody's that clean!" "I am." "Abby:" "Really?" "Do you mind if I check your browser history?" "Donald:" "What're you doing?" "!" "Abby:" "Nobody acts as straight-laced as you" "Footsteps-in-the-stand.org, aspca..." "Donald:" "Abby..." "Abby:" "I know you're hiding something!" "Charitable donations tax receipts..." "Photos?" "Of what?" "From my trip to Rome, to see the Vatican." "(Sighs)" "I'm fired, aren't I?" "You are now." "Dawna:" "Hey, you're late." "I'm sorry." "It's been a crazy morning." "Come here." "Is everything okay?" "Yeah." "You know, I just this kid trying to rattle my cage." "What'd I miss?" "Do we need to talk about last night?" "Nah!" "I'm just under a lot of stress." "Walter:" "Sean, your car!" "Man:" "Call 911!" "(Car peels away)" "(Car explodes)" "(Flames roar)" "(Knocking on door)" "I refuse to let you break up with me." "No!" "I'm crazy about you and I'm not gonna let this job come between us." "If you want me to quit, I'll quit." " Nick" " No, look, there are other jobs..." "There's only one of you." "Fine, quit." "You... you wanna be with me, quit your job." "Okay." "Okay." "Put it on speaker-phone." "Okay." "Scott:" "Hell-o." "Hi, Scott, it's Nick." "Scott:" "Nicholas!" "We going to the massage parlor tonight?" "No, no." "I can't tonight." "Listen, I uh..." "I've been thinking and I'm not sure you made" " Are you crazy?" " No." "You were actually gonna quit?" "Yes." "What do you got in there?" "Mozza-2-go - bunch of different kinds." "Jennifer:" "Oh, come on!" "How can you not know what this is?" "Eric:" "Everything you're drawing looks like a penis." "Jennifer:" "It does not look like a penis!" "Eric:" "Okay, no talking!" "Connor, go." "What do you think it is?" "I can't see how that is not a penis." "All:" "(Laughing)" "Jennifer:" "You know what?" "That says a lot more about you guys than it does about me, just so you know!" "You're running out of time." "Jennifer:" "You know, I'm playing an artist in this movie." "I need to work on my drawing skills." "Eric:" "All right, all right, all right, we get it - you booked a David Fincher movie." "We're all very happy for you!" "Jennifer:" "Mm!" "Stop it!" "Shut up!" "Okay, go on." "Guess!" "Connor:" "Anh!" "Time!" "Okay, fine, I give up." "It's the Chrysler building!" "How could you not see that?" "!" "Eric:" "No, I stand by my original penis." "All:" "(Laughing)" "Okay, go." "Okay, it's your turn." "Go!" "Connor:" "Okay, okay, okay." "(Door bangs shut)" "Kaldrick:" "He wanted my attention, he's got it." "Christopher:" "What the hell are you doing in my office" "Kaldrick:" "I'm not paying him," "I'm not intimidated by him, and I damn sure ain't gonna mentor him." "What'd he do?" "He set my car on fire outside the 19th street mission." " Can you prove it?" " Prove it?" "I got thirty people who witnessed it!" "He's an angry kid, he has learning disabil" "I know you're not about to make excuses for him." "Of course not." "Where is he?" "You know I can't tell you that." "I'm not gonna hurt him, I just wanna talk to him." "Even if I believed you, I'd be disbarred." "I've advised him to stay away from you." "Well advise him again!" "And I don't care if he's just a kid - if he don't raise up off me, he about to take this somewhere he don't want it to go!" "I'll impress that upon him." "That's it?" "You came here to tell me something I already knew and to ask for something you knew I wouldn't give you?" "Kaldrick:" "I thought it was worth a shot." "No, you're smarter than that." "Whatever." "Hey!" "(Door bangs shut)" "Andrea:" "(Clears throat)" "A lot of fireworks today." "Raquel:" "Well, people are still detoxing." "Everyone's a little testy." "Thank you." "You seem to be holding up okay." "People need a rock." "I've never seen anyone manipulate their own character arc like this." "Hmm." "Well, I don't know what you're talking about." "(Laughs) Uh-huh." "I'm just gonna go check on Zach if that's something y'all wanna capture?" "Andrea:" "Guys... you heard the lady." "Man:" "Go ahead." "You're on." "(Knocking) Zach, are you in there?" "You really shouldn't be alone." "Andrea:" "We need a medic in here!" "Go!" "♪ Send it off with a stamp ♪" "♪ as the winter locks in the branches above you, ♪" "♪ higher than where we've loved ♪" "♪ it's never coming back ♪" "♪ and the hardest thing about this love ♪" "♪ is that you're never coming back ♪" "(Knocking) Nick?" "♪" "♪ hold me close while you can ♪" "♪ it's hard to remember the end of December ♪" "♪ holding onto the past ♪" "♪ you're never coming back ♪" "♪ and the hardest thing about this love ♪" "♪ is that it's never gonna last ♪" "♪ and the hardest thing about this love... ♪" "Connor's voicemail:" "Hey, it's Connor, leave a message." "♪ Is that you're never coming back ♪" "♪ and our love's waiting tonight ♪" "Beth:" "Simon?" "I got you those burgers you wanted to try, and I've got good news." "You got a callback for that Bill Nye thing." "That's the one you really wanted, right, buddy?" "Simon?" "Simon?" "(Tin clatters on floor)" "♪ But I don't need you... ♪" "Simon!" "♪ You'll find another ♪" "Simon!" "♪ Your heart will sing too ♪" "♪ but I don't need you ♪" "♪ and hold on lover, you'll find another ♪" "♪ but I don't need you, ♪" "♪ and I won't need to ♪" "♪ ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪" "♪ ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪" "♪ ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪" "♪ ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪" "♪ ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪" "♪ ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪" "♪ ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪" "♪ ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪" "♪ ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪" "♪ ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪" "♪ ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪" "♪ ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪" "♪ ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪" "♪ ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪" "♪ ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪" "♪ ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪" "♪ ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪" "♪ ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪" "♪ ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪" "♪ ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪" "♪ ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪" "♪ ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪" "♪ ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪" "♪ ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪" "♪ ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪" "♪ ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪" "♪ ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪" "♪ ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪" "Beth:" "(Shrieks) Simon!" "♪ Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪" "(Sobbing) Simon!"