"The Life of Fish" "I am leaving." "My plane leaves early tomorrow morning and I still haven't packed my suitcase." "Why did you come then?" "This is just starting." "I just came to say hi." "So, it's like a formality." "No." "It's not a formality." "I came to see you guys, even if it was for just a little bit." "Ok." "No, don't leave." "Why don't you tell us what the deal is over there?" "Let's see... say something in German." "No, seriously, what's the deal there?" "Are there a lot of Swingers?" "Bisexuals?" "Threesomes...?" "The only time I did a threesome was with my wife when she was pregnant." "Me, my wife, the baby..." "All three." "What's up with them paying you to travel dude?" "I would love to have a job like that." "Hey, have you guys seen the typical magazine articles, about visiting exotic places, some ruins, or 12 highlights of some city, and you wonder who's the lucky bastard getting paid to do this?" "This is the bastard..." "They pay for everything?" "Of course." "It's a job." "I go, I do the travel guide and I get paid for it." "And you have a great time..." "You barely have any time." "They give me a program, a type of guide." "It's always the same shit." "Where can adults have fun, what to do with the family, where to go with your kids, where to have dinner..." "Sometimes you call someone you know and have a better time." "Hey, don't you ever feel like staying in some of those places?" "I would gladly stay..." "You can't, you have to think like a tourist." "Tourists never think of staying anywhere, they want to see everything quickly, the same things, same photos, same places, and that's it." "Nothing really serious." "Nothing important." "Not like you guys..." "So, did you see her?" "No." "She didn't want to come, the "Gringo" and the twins are down south." "We convinced her to come for a bit." "Yes." "Wait for her." "How long has it been since you last saw her?" "A long time." "How long?" "A very long time." "When is your flight?" "At noon?" "Delay it for 24 hours." "Come on do it." "Delay it and the four of us can hang out, we can invite some others, mess around and get drunk." "Yeah, let's do a barbecue at Roberto's house, we can play a little soccer." "How long would it take for you to arrange the two teams?" " A couple of calls." " Cool." "Some T-Shirts and we're set!" "Are you still playing?" "No, no I can't." "Fuck, Andres." "Come on, man..." "No, it's Ok, it's Ok." "The bond, the bond is the most important shit." "Friendship is the most important, the rest is worth nothing..." "What would Francisco have said?" "We were all like brothers." "Look at us now." "Strangers talking about the past, always about the past." "This goof, a successful executive, me, celebrating my birthday at my parent's house." "This other dude..." "This other dude..." "Hey, what do you do?" "I'm a consultant." "That shit..." "And Andres, writing about stupid shit." "The stupid beaches, the mountains, stupid traditional Indonesian dishes." "It was really great to see you, really." "Thanks, man." "Be well, man." "Hello" "Hello" " How old is he?" " 12 months." "What's his name?" "Bruno." "He's cute." "You haven't wasted any time." "We don't have a TV in our bedroom." "You better tell me about yourself." "What can I say?" "What's your life like, where you stay, what you eat..." "Everything." "The other day I read about a guy who does what you do, but for The "New York Times," he made up some of the destinations and they caught him." "You don't make stuff up, right?" "Sometimes." "Sometimes you are not in the mood and you get sent to a beach, the photographer shows you the pictures, and then you write something with the word" ""exotic,"" ""don't miss the local food"" "or "magnificent sunsets."" "I would love to live in hotels." "I would love it." "You might want to add the flu, jet lag, sleeping in airports," "being stuck in the middle seat with a mother and crying baby." "You don't travel Business Class?" "Sometimes I can get an upgrade with the miles I've accumulated." "What about the "women" you've accumulated." "Hey..." "Remember that time in Ralun..." "What time in Ralun?" "But we were so young." "No, we weren't that young, I already had breasts." "But you seem fine and Pablo is a great man." "It's funny." "How long has it been since you last came to his birthday?" "About ten years." "Man, we're getting old." "It's weird, out of all the birthdays it was Pablo's where stuff always happened..." "I mean we had many birthdays, but... it was here... in this house where the important things happened." "Not to mention all the things you've missed..." "Cristobal's girlfriends, Muriel and Rorro," "Jorge burned the living room once," "Bea separated for a year and came with a new boyfriend." "Bea separated?" "One year ago, and then they got back together." "But that year she came with a guy, he looked a lot like you." "When you two broke up, it was hard..." "I didn't know whose side to take." "It was just easier to distance myself from both of you." "One time we got together to talk, we went for ice cream." "She talked a lot about you..." "Have you guys gotten my e-mails?" "The pictures?" "The pictures..." "They were nice, they looked like postcards." "I'm a terrible friend, I never answered back." "Pablo showed them to me," "I don't even know how to turn on the computer... he gets upset, says I'm like a grandma but I don't care." "I think he's obsessed with the computer." "He brings the computer into the bedroom, chats watches porn, talks on the phone on-line." "All with the same person?" "I don't know, I suppose not..." "Once I caught him having virtual sex, so he told me it wasn't an infidelity." "Oh no, I told him it certainly was, even if he was having sex with a robot, its infidelity." "Don't come to me with that shit." "Maybe you should go in the chat room and have virtual sex with him." "I don't feel like it, I swear." "I'm going to explode." "At least now I know my due date." "How many more months?" "Eight." "If pregnancies lasted more than nine months, the human race would have become extinct." "It's unbearable." "Pablo has not touched me in months." "Not even a bump in the kitchen, "Oops sorry," nothing." "He thinks sex and maternity are incompatible." "He can't touch me if my breasts are full of milk." "I told him if it were true, there wouldn't be porn featuring pregnant women." "I've seen them, they're so horny." "Did you know that pregnancy can make you very horny?" "It's happened to me with all my pregnancies, starting the fifth month, I start to get very horny." "I could fuck a stuffed animal." "Let's go downstairs." "Let's go." "Help me." "Hello" " Hi..." " Hi." "You came?" "Yes." "Only for a little bit." "Just to say hi." "I heard you finally sold your parents house." "Yes." "And the small apartment I had downtown." "It was hard dealing with property tax and collecting the rent from abroad," "so I decided to just close everything up." "Makes sense." "I just spoke to Mariana, she's... all of you turned out to be very fertile." "It must have been something in the food..." "How many do you have?" "Twins..." "Five-years old." "Sounds intense." "How about yourself?" "A hamster, does that count?" "No, it doesn't." "Well..." "I have to go struggle with a suitcase full of souvenirs." "Earthenware, craftworks, lots of wine..." "Like a tourist." "Yes." "Like a tourist." "You look... very good." "I'm a little over weight." "You look the same." "Well..." "If I don't see you again..." "Good luck, I really wish you all the best." "Same to you." "Bea..." "I'm glad we saw each other." "Hadn't you left yet?" "Yes, but I forgot my jacket." "I'm going to another party..." "Let's go?" "Fuck, how could you have missed that point!" "What the hell do you know piece of shit!" "Oops, sorry!" "These little fuckers enter... another dimension playing with this crap." "Let's go." "Where?" "To the other party." "It'll be full of chicks." "I'll take you to the airport afterwards." "No Ignacio, I pass." "Whatever you say, but you missing out." "Ok, little brat move... move!" "What was the name of that spaceship that killed Martians like this bip, bip, bip, bip?" "Space Invaders." "Space Invaders!" "Dude." "There, the square!" "Look at those graphics..." "Ok." " Bye!" " Bye!" "Shit!" "Look, want me to do a "Rabona" kick?" " Sure, how do you know?" " Look, hand it over." " Goal!" " Super goal!" "Good one." "You're good." "My best score yet with this game has been with Barça with Messi and Eto'o." "Myself with Chile, man, with Chupete Suazo as a scorer." "Good one." "Good one, no?" "You were my Dad's childhood friend?" "Yes." "We've known each other since kindergarten." "How long since you last saw each other?" "Since we were twenty-three." "And how old are you now?" "Thirty-three." "Is it true that you spent the year 2000 on a motorcycle in the desert?" "No, but if anybody asks, I say yes." "You look younger than my father." "Have you smoked marijuana?" "Yes." "Have you tried peyote?" "Once." "You ever fucked a woman without a condom?" "Yes." "Have you had an AIDS test?" "Once." "Why?" "Because in Cape Town," "I messed around with a model I met." "Did she have AIDS?" "Obviously not!" "Ever touched silicone tits?" "Yes." " What are they like?" " Weird." "Ever had anal sex with any of your girlfriends?" " Yes." " How is it?" "Hold on, does your dad let you talk about these things?" "My old man blocks my Internet." "He says porn fucks up your head, but he does it all the time." "I've seen his sites." "Your old man is a hypocrite." "No, that's not it, porn's not for kids." "Do you watch porn?" "Sometimes." "Every day?" "Or sometimes, once a month?" "Or sometimes, all the time?" "Sometimes, every two weeks." "Sometimes while I'm downloading programs... nothing important." "Did you know that semen is good for your wrinkles?" "It was proven by some researchers..." "I forget, but they were from some prestigious university." "They were researching premature aging." "Just like you, they went into some porn sites and discovered that porn stars have no wrinkles on their faces." "They figured there could be a connection between semen and wrinkles, and now all expensive face creams contain semen, but they don't say it, 'cause nobody wants sperm on their face." "I'm saying this in case you have a girlfriend you can maybe come to an agreement." "An agreement!" "Do you have a girlfriend?" "No." "Did you have one?" "Yes, I had one." "What happened?" "What happened?" "I don't know what happened." "Super goal!" " Good one!" " Super goal!" "Ok." " Are you leaving?" " Yes." " What does your jacket look like?" " Black." "We put some over there..." "This one?" "Good luck." "Ok." "Hope everything goes well." "See you again someday." "And keep practicing." "The sea tastes like salt and you'll never swallow it." "The sky has clouds and you won't ever touch them." "There aren't enough constellations spinning over me." "In the end," "I don't believe in guardian angels nor vigilant gods in me..." "I don't wait for abnormal winters that indicate signs" "of the end" "Andres!" "Yes." "Hi." "You don't remember me?" "No." "Imagine me this tall... running around everywhere," "with a "bowl" hair cut..." "Its me, Caro!" "Yes!" "Hi!" "This is cool." "Let me introduce you to some friends..." "I have to go." "Don't be boring, come with me for a bit..." "A little bit?" "Cool." "I'm glad you came." "It's nice to see you." "Go ahead." "Girls..." "This is Dani... and this is Maca, the youngest of the group." "Hello." "Hi Maca." "I would have never recognized you." "You've really..." "Grown up?" "Girls..." "Andres was, by far... the hottest of my brother's friends." "You know what?" "I always remember when you and Francisco took me to the movies." "All my classmates went wild" "I always said that my brother was like River Phoenix" "and that you were like the other one." "Francisco was so good-looking." "Who was who?" "What did she take?" "Mushrooms" "Tell her to drink water." "Drink water." "Dani..." "Da..." "Dani..." "Dani!" " Drink water." " Forget it." "Hey Andres, why don't we take advantage that you are here and that I'm all grown up" "up and we have a drink?" " I was on my way out, Caro." " Really?" "But I'll help you out with this one." "Can you do me a favor?" "It's good, warm." "What is it?" "The thing is that Maca's mom won't her let sleep over at a friend's house but if she sees us leaving with you, she'll obviously agree." "Plus you can drop us off downtown." "Downtown!" "Downtown?" "Why are you going downtown?" "To a party, it's going to be incredible." "Dani's girlfriend plays music there." "But her mom doesn't know that either, so please don't say anything." "You have a girlfriend, Dani?" "What mushrooms did you take?" "I don't know." "We brought them on our class trip in Peru." "Hey!" "Pablo showed me one of the magazines you work for... you wrote about some surfer beach with a temple..." " Ring a bell?" " Uluguatu?" "Really?" "The pictures were amazing." "Take me?" "Please take me, Andres!" "Imagine... during the day I'd accompany you to all those incredible places..." "I'd carry your backpack and tripod, whatever you want, and at night... at night..." "Ok," "Now I'm really leaving." "No, no, no, no, wait, let me take a look at you." "Why are you being like that?" "Why do you have that look on your face?" " Ok." " Ok, Ok." "Let's go to your house?" "I don't have a place any more." " I'm staying in a hotel." " Really?" "Much better then." "Room service, mini bar, I love all that stuff..." "Plus..." "I'm your friend's little sister," "Isn't that your fantasy?" "Bye Caro." "It was you?" "What?" "You were in the car with Francisco when he died?" "Dani..." "Shut up." "I was told that." "Yes..." "That's what happened." "Ok girls," "Bye" "Cool." "Bye." " Bye" " Take care." "The other day someone told me that you were on the Internet." "I'm so shocked at those sites where in theory, everybody is your friend..." "Don't you find them a little invasive?" "Yes." "But we still use them." "With our pictures and our secrets." "So what did you see?" "I don't know, your pictures, who your friends are..." "I uploaded some old pictures." "Yes, I saw it, one." "Everything can be digitalized." "On the other hand, I think who cares." "There are people who are worried about photos of them throwing up or a pornographic video of an ex." "The thing is... who cares about other people's lives." "Lots of people care." "No, really, who cares if..." "I'm drunk in a parking lot and that's on the Internet." "The people that care about you." "I saw a current one of you dancing." "Oh yes, my cousin's bachelorette party." "You know what I thought?" "In all the time we were together," "we never danced." "Its true." "We never danced." "We never did a lot of things." "We never traveled together." "Did you know that my parents also sold the house?" "The house?" "The house." "The beach..." "Tunquén." "No..." "Yes." "They're going to build a huge, elegant, monstrous resort." "Over the house?" "Exactly!" "A boy walks by some rocks on a beach until he gets to a pool of water." "He sees a girl sunbathing naked." "Everything is so perfect that he asks himself if what he's seeing is real." "He hears a dog bark and jumps violently back to reality." "The girl gets up and covers herself with the towel while hollering at the dog:" "Balthazar!" "Stop it!" "Sounds like a good start." "The best start." "You should go to the monstrous hotel and demand they give you something, a weekend in their best suite, or better yet..." "Money." "Money for destroying your best memories." "Like compensation?" "Exactly." "Compensation for your memories." "Who said they were my best memories?" "OK." "Nobody said that." "They are my best memories." "I'm going downstairs." "I think they're getting ready to sing." "Guille..." "Ah!" "Andresito..." "I'm leaving." "It was so nice to see you." "Thanks, you too." "And you Andresito?" "Have you gotten used to living so far away?" "Berlin is a beautiful city." "It's like you could never get to know it entirely." "Sometimes on weekends, for example," "I visit some new quarter, or a market at some street fair." "But I always get the sensation that I'm missing everything, that I haven't seen anything." "Over there," "I remember your bread with avocado." "Over there, when I remember something about my life, something really nice," "I remember your bread with avocado." "And the soft boiled eggs?" "And cereal with condensed milk." "All of you were like my own kids." "But Francisco was my favorite... and you, too." "I can still picture you both sitting at that table." "Sometimes, when I'm all alone, cleaning" "I go upstairs to his room, and I can feel him." "Not like a memory." "I really feel him." "I hear the sound of him turning on the stereo." "Like he doesn't want to leave." "Like he's waiting for something." "Happy Birthday to you..." "Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday, dear Pablito..." "Cheers Pablo!" "May all yours birthdays be happy!" "Let's throw him in the pool!" " Guille, the soft drinks." " They're already out there." "Have the girls take care of the cake." "Get the ice." "We need plates and forks." "Ok" "Are there more plates, Guille?" "Over there, in the cupboard." "I thought about taking it to my room..." "Use it... but then I thought it's best if it stays here with the rest of his things." "The other day organizing some things, I came across some old photocopies some old stories of yours." "Stuff you used to write for my brother so he'd get lucky with the chicks." "It was good stuff, weird but good." "Your brother and I had a deal." "We always talked everything out." "Hours and hours talking, here in this room." "He would come to this room with a problem and we talked until we solved it." "I never thought I would miss that." "On airplanes, I think a lot..." "The same things, over and over again," "and I ask myself what would he do." "Tell me." "I'm talking about leaving someone." "Leaving her with out any certainty, with just ambiguity." "Leaving Beatriz." "I told her..." "I want us to take a break, three months." "We've known each other forever, it wouldn't have been healthy not to go our separate ways." "So I left for Europe." "Upon my return, we'd plan on getting together for a coffee we even set the time, place and everything." "I'd tell her..." "You know, all this was a mistake, I want to be with you." "I don't know if she ever made it to the coffee shop." "I don't know." "Do you know what Francisco would say?" "Yes." "I know what he would say." "So you stayed." "They want to throw Pablo in the pool." "Every year, they do the same thing, they never change," "or maybe they do, but one thinks they don't." "It happens to me with my girls." "Every weekend, their grandmas find them bigger and I don't even notice." "I suppose when they come back now, I'll notice." "Where are they?" "Down south, with their father." "It's the first time the three of them are alone together." "The first week, I would call about every hour." "What are their names?" "Juana and Martina." "It's weird, because I never saw you pregnant, I don't imagine you..." "I don't imagine you as a mother." "To me, you are the same." "The other day..." "I mean, the other day about 4 years ago, my brother..." "You know that Diego was living in Bologna?" "..." "Well, he was on a flight and found a magazine article of yours on board." "He almost didn't recognize your photo." "Anyway, I didn't." "He brought you the magazine?" "No, I went to see him." "Were you in Europe?" "Yes." "What part?" "Madrid, then Paris for a few days, and..." "Berlin." "You were in Berlin?" "You didn't call me?" "I didn't have your number." "I imagined you were travelling." "Did you guys have a good time?" "Where did you stay?" "I went alone." "Well, and you..." "What are you up to over there?" "Do you live with anyone?" "I lived with an Italian girl for a while who was also a journalist, but... it didn't work out." "Maybe it was our age... but with the only person whom I could be with" "and have that sensation of eternity of not thinking about the end, was..." "I don't know... with you." "Well..." "I loved seeing you." "We did the right thing, no?" "Are you happy?" "I'm going inside." "I called you." "When I was in Berlin," "I called you." "I didn't want to leave a message because..." "I don't know..." "I found it silly." "On the other hand, I thought..." "I don't know..." "Maybe it would have confused me even more." "Confused you?" "I don't know if you would have cared." "I had no way of knowing if you were busy or putting a son to bed, busy with a girlfriend... with your life." "I wasn't." "I know nothing about you, Andres." "What do you want to know?" "Why did you come?" "Because I wanted to see you." "Sure..." "What did you expect to find?" "People go on with their lives." "It's easy to live as a day-tripper seeing the world like a tourist." "The hard thing is to stay and deal with the day-to-day things." "You can't just suddenly appear and mess everything up, as if I need to be apologizing... for having my family, for... having something." "Let's go?" "Let's get out of here, really." "You're so selfish." "Yes." "I'm selfish." "Maybe before..." "I would have accepted your offer to leave here." "But the thing is, now I have something." "You want me to exchange everything I have for... nothing?" "Let's not be here." "Where do you want to be?" "Not here." "I really had doubts about coming tonight." "They told me you were going to be here." "I thought about grabbing the car and driving south." "But I didn't." "Instead I went shopping." "I bought these clothes." "I sat outside in the car for an hour wondering if I should get out." "I didn't know how I would feel" "or what I would say when I saw you." "I went to the coffee shop..." "I want you to know that." "I went to the coffee shop" "I ordered some juice, looked at the people, listening to the conversations at nearby tables like we used to do." "In the bathroom, I cried." "I had never cried in a public place." "A stranger held me." "My legs felt so heavy." "I was sick in bed for two weeks..." "I invented a cold, that turned into a sinus infection, and finally became pneumonia..." "I remember one day, a shitty day one of the shittiest days of May ever." "I asked my mom to call you." "I couldn't get out of bed, couldn't stop crying." "I very seriously told my mother," ""Mom..." ""Call him."" "She looked at me, just looked and said:" ""We are not calling anybody."" "One year, we were just coming back from vacation... it was a Sunday night," "I was in the kitchen." "Suddenly... everything turned so unbearable." "The year went right past me, then another one, and..." "I couldn't" "I couldn't resist it." "I told him I wanted to separate." "He tried to convince me but..." "I had already made up my mind." "That same night, I left with the girls for our Ritoque home." "We camped out in the living room." "Months later I met a guy who reminded me of you" "I actually brought him to a birthday party in this house." "Then one day... the "gringo" appeared with a big smile on his face and... he made me feel that he would forgive me... over and over again and..." "I went back to him." "I'd be lying if I say I don't think... how my life would have been." "What it would be like to be with you." "If we would have had kids," "if we'd been in a snow storm together, or one summer if we'd tour around a cobblestone little town..." "Just the simple things:" "Buying fruit, paying bills," "buying a gift." "Its not that I'm not Ok." "Its not that I don't want what I have" "It's just that..." "I can't help it," "I would love to have a peek... a peek at another life." "What do you want to do?" "What do you want to do?" "I don't know," "I don't want to think anymore." "I can call the airline," "I can change my flight," "I can buy you an airplane ticket." "Let's start over again." "The twins, you, and me... again." "What hotel are you staying in?" "One downtown." "What time is your flight?" "At twelve." "Are you driving?" "No." "If I do this... will you be capable?" "Will you be capable of holding me together and give me strength?" "Yes." "Let's go."