"I think you should know that this is not my wife... and I'm not really interested in classical music." "I just made a huge mistake." "I guess it's the kind of mistake any married man might make... after twenty-five years, but believe me..." "I can promise you, this will never happen again." "One bad rodeo clown ruins the whole barrel." "It was a bad year for grapes..." "That looks so great." "It's so beautiful." "Oh, and I'm going to make a little toast, if I may." "To our friends-- to our good friends." "To our best friends." "Best friends-- to our best friends." "Porter, ellie, this is in celebration... of twenty-five years of marriage." "Perfect marriage." "Perfect marriage." "And in anticipation of twenty-five more years like it." "Oh, that's sweet." "I Iove you." "OK, blow 'em out, pal." "OK, come on." "blow, blow, blow, blow." "Oh, my God." "It's a light cake." "Look at his nose." "Eh, bonjour." "welcome back, Mrs. Stoddard." "Can I help you with any of that stuff?" "Oh, so glad to be home." "Nice to see you again." "Just bring it right in here." "Oh, hello!" "Mister and missus, hi!" "Hi, YoIanda." "hello." "Hiya, Dad." "Hey!" "How are you?" "How was it?" "It was great." "Oh, it was great!" "Great." "Ah, you want to help us with a couple of these things?" "Yeah, I'II take care of it." "I'm on the phone with holly." "She's gonna come over for dinner." "OK?" "Who's holly?" "She's a friend of mine, Dad." "You're really gonna like her." "Good." "holly." "What happened to Miranda?" "What happens to any of them?" "They turn 18, they're old, wrinkled, and discarded." "Hey." "Hi!" "Hi, Mom." "Did you have a good time?" "Such a good time." "We missed you." "Wait till you see what I got you." "There's a person in the kitchen." "That's Omar." "It's Omar, Porter." "You remember Omar, Dad." "Oh, yeah." "Omar." "Omar." "Omar!" "Come say hello." "hello, Omar." "You know he's shy." "Don't even think about it." "Don't even worry about it." "Let me ask you." "There are some people, they have daughters... you know, who have boyfriends... who actually speak." "He speaks." "I've heard him speak." "He just doesn't speak in a language... that, you know, I happen to know." "That's all." "It's Turkish." "Turkish?" "I don't think so." "More like Arabic or Farsi." "Anyway, he's very sweet." "Ugh." "OK." "Sweet is good." "Who cares?" "We're back home." "I Iove you." "I can't believe it." "Who was it?" "I don't know." "I don't know." "I don't know, honey." "YoIanda, could you just heat that up for me a little?" "Thank you." "Gracias." "YoIanda's new boyfriend..." "alejandro." "When did AIejandro move in?" "The day after you and Mom left." "He's a good guy, Dad." "And why is AIejandro not wearing a shirt?" "well, that's what he's used to-- living in the jungle and all." "Living in a jungle?" "I'm just curious." "Why would he be living in a jungle?" "Because that's where his group lived." "His group?" "I don't understand." "Is that botanists or something?" "No, his political group, Mom." "EI compañeros de Ia muerte." ""The companions of death?"" "That's colorful." "They plan to overthrow their government... and establish a regime of democratic ideals... and crop sharing." "And no better place to start than right here on Fifth Avenue." "central Park has always needed a good crop-sharing program." "That's really fucking funny." "Dad, did you see holly's stud?" "holly's stud?" "Show him, holly." "Isn't it great?" "Let me see." "You ever worry about swallowing it?" "Yeah." "actually I did twice, but I got it back." "How--how did..." "You know, it's been a Iong day." "I'm just gonna pack it in." "Me, too." "Honey, I'm just" "No, no, no." "Omar has something he wants to say to you." "really?" "You do?" "That's wonderful." "Mizz, Misserrr..." "Stob" "Stodd." "Stodd?" "Stoddard." "Honey." "Stobb-ard." "Stoddard." "WeIgome." "WeI-goom... hone." "WeIgoom hone." "Hone." "Huh." "Hone." "Home." "welcome home." "That's so nice of you." "Very good." "Very good." "Very well said." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Congruity with the rest of the" "What is the man saying?" "The frame for the millennium Museum of Architecture... shouIdn't be making an architectural statement?" "You got to make a statement." "The thing is a gateway." "It's beautiful." "absolutely." "It's perfect." "What is Mrs. HadIey making for lunch?" "She's making romoroIi." "RomoroIi?" "What's romoroIi?" "Oh, it's this Indonesian thing." "little pieces of meat and fish... sort of jammed together on a stick." "Oh, good, good." "I hate little pieces of meat and fish jammed on a stick." "Sweetie, it's not for you." "It's for the design conference people from Japan." "Remember?" "What are they coming out here for?" "They want to see my design, and they want to meet everybody." "Oh, my gosh!" "Get away!" "Get away from her!" "Are you all right?" "Oh, my God!" "Don't worry." "Here." "Oh, my God, I'm sorry." "Oh, my God." "Here." "Are you OK?" "Come on." "Why don't you go inside." "Come on, girl." "Get over here." "Come on!" "Weathered shingles." "DoubIe-hung windows..." "hello!" "Hi!" "welcome." "Hi." "I'm thrilled to introduce you to my son and my daughter." "This is alice and Tom." "Thank you." "Anyway, I'm sure everybody must be hungry." "I think your handyman just fell off the roof." "He did what?" "Oh, my God." "Oh!" "Oh, no, no." "Oh, no, he's fine." "That's Porter." "That's just..." "Her porter fell off the roof." "Porter is-- Porter's my husband." "Sirs, that's fine." "That's OK." "He's fine." "Thank you." "Don't worry." "Don't concern yourself." "I want you to have some of this lovely cake." "hello?" "What?" "Where?" "You're joking." "You're not joking." "Excuse me." "Have you seen Mr. Stoddard anywhere?" "Who?" "Porter!" "Hey, what's going on?" "I'm very angry with you, Porter Stoddard." "You're my oldest friend." "How could you let this happen to me?" "What?" "What?" "What are you talking about?" "How could you not tell me?" "You know every move Griffin makes." "Who is she?" "Who is she?" "Yeah, who is she?" "It's not insane." "I saw them." "I went." "I followed them." "What did he say?" "What did he say?" "What did he say to you?" "I will never speak to that man again." "Never!" "You probably saw him with some client." "Oh, play golf." "play golf." "A client, for God's sakes." "You'II be next, gentlemen." "carlos, I'm so-- I'm sorry, carlos." "ellie, I think we've got a problem." "Which one?" "social problem." "No, no, no, no." "I mean, which one of these?" "Mona caught Griffin." "Porter, do you think you could just help me... for one little second." "I have to submit seven samples." "Now, if you were on this awards committee, right... which one would you be most impressed by, huh?" "Did you hear what I said to you?" "Mona caught Griffin." "Yeah, Mona caught Griffin." "Yeah, I heard you, darling." "What was he doing?" "Oh, wait." "Oh, you don't mean that he was, Iike" "Yes, I do." "I don't believe it." "No." "You should believe it." "He couldn't possibly do that." "He did it." "With who?" "Some redhead." "She saw them." "She saw them doing what?" "Doing what?" "What do I know?" "What people do when they" "please, please get off my floor!" "Honey, I'm sure it's all just a mistake." "She said she's gonna divorce him." "No, she won't." "What do you think?" "plaid or batik?" "But I'II tell you, on this finger... the wedding ring is not--oh!" "You know, whatever this big secret is... it better be worth getting Lyme disease." "Are you having an affair?" "No." "Yes, I am." "Not good." "Not good." "I need to know how you know about this... because I don't want Mona to find out about it." "Mona told me." "She followed you this afternoon." "She followed you." "What did she say?" "She said she saw you with some redhead... in some fIea-bag motel off the highway." "Did you stand up for me?" "That's all I'm asking." "Of course I stood up for you... but I don't have an awful lot of material... here to work with, do I?" "What is going on?" "What's the matter with you?" "How come she hasn't said anything to me about it?" "She hasn't said anything to me about it." "Maybe she won't." "You all right?" "Are you all right?" "Go." "Are you all right?" "I--just..." "I think I asked you to leave me alone." "Don't look at me." "Mona, I" "Don't talk to me." "Can I think about you?" "No." "Oh, right there." "Oh, right there." "Oh, holly." "Oh, my God." "Dios mio, papi!" "Sit down." "Heshushatoona." "Hesh..." "Heshushatoona." "No, no, no." "It's..." "I--I never eat heshushatoona late at night." ""Riz..." "Riz..."" "Rice Krispies." "Rice Krispies." "Yeah." "Snag, krinkIe, poop." "Snag, krinkIe, poop." "exactly." "Yeah." "HijoIe!" "alejandro, sit down." "Gracias." "De nada." "Quieres algo?" "No, no." "Thank you." "Oh." "Ha ha ha." "Señor worm." "Worm." "Muy bueno." "Give you..." "Jesus Christ." "hola!" "Join us." "Ah, Mr. Stoddard." "A friend is waiting for you upstairs." "Oh, good." "calm?" "I am calm." "That's good." "And I made a decision calmly and dispassionately... to string Griffin up by his balls." "Mona!" "please, please try the chocolate mousse." "It's a poem." "Thank you very much." "She's called a lawyer." "What lawyer?" "SuttIer." "SuttIer?" "David "the Shark" SuttIer?" "well, I didn't read the whole card." "Who recommended him?" "You did." "I don't know how you got yourself into this." "I just--I don't-- I don't get it." "Come on." "Are you telling me... that in the Iast 25 years you haven't even" "No." "One..." "You haven't one time?" "No." "You're kidding." "No." "Not once?" "No." "Ever?" "No." "Oh, come on." "No." "I'm not making a big deal out of it." "Have you thought about it?" "I'm a normal guy." "OK?" "well..." "several times I've thought of it." "Thought about it numerous, numerous, numerous times." "Numerous times, but, you know... you must think that I'm some kind of a" "A stiff." "I was gonna say prude." "OK?" "But you get to a certain age... some things become important that weren't important before." "We're not kids anymore." "What is important is continuity..." "stability..." "I don't know how you got yourself into this situation." "You know, sometimes you're very judgmental." "Which way you going?" "Which way you going?" "Downtown." "Downtown." "Yeah." "OK." "I'II see you later." "OK." "Ohh!" "Let's be realistic about this, though." "Hi, sweetie." "You're so dar-- I am being realistic." "As I recall, you had a little bit of a thing... yourself a few years ago." "Not to bicker" "I mean, I don't--what?" "I'm talking about Hans." "Hans?" "I--I don't know anybody named Hans." "Oh, you mean Fritz." "Oh, yeah, exactly." "I mean Fritz." "Yeah, but you know what, you know what?" "Fritz was 11 years ago, Griffin and I had an argument... he was from Europe, he didn't speak english... so it does not count." "Oh, it doesn't count, huh?" "No." "Oh, I wish I had known that." "Can I say something?" "could you think about compassion or even possibly forgiveness?" "What about betrayal?" "What about humiliation?" "Look." "I understand how you feel." "You don't know how I feel." "Imagine if it was Porter." "Oh, that's absurd." "Porter would never do anything like that." "well, of course not." "It's not his style." "He's like a rock." "Ever been married?" "I am married." "He reminds me of you." "really." "Yeah." "Yeah." "He's really, really mature." "really." "That's what I Iove most, you know-- maturity, dependability..." "Where is he?" "He's right over there." "He's over 200 years old." "Must be exhausted." "Forget your umbrella, did you, Mr. Stoddard?" "Yes, yes, I did." "Have you got any idea what time it is?" "10 past 11:00." "Thank you, thank you." "Did you forget your watch, too, Mr. Stoddard?" "Yes, I did, Barney." "Thank you." "So architecture should be like great works of art." "So what you feel..." "How'd you make out?" "What?" "With Griffin--how'd it go?" "Fine." "Just fine." "He's gonna do what's best." "For who?" "For everybody concerned:" "Mona, for himself..." "No." "Hey, don't do that, please." "I was watching." "You were sleeping." "No, I wasn't." "Your eyes were closed." "I was watching through my eyelids." "You're very strange." "Yes, I am, aren't I?" "Yes." "But strange is good, isn't it?" "Sometimes, yeah." "Oh, that's what he was saying on the television." "He was saying that about new buildings." "That they work best when they're a combination of the new-- no, not the new, I mean the strange." "Strange and familiar." "Strange and familiar." "Yeah." "philip Johnson." "New buildings like old relationships." "That's very good." "Very good." "Where you going?" "Kitchen." "Gonna get something sweet." "Honey, there's a cello in the fridge." "What did you say?" "I said, "There's JeII-O in the fridge."" "I consider it my duty as a first step to ask you... to take some time... revisit your true feelings for each other... and consider the gravity of this step... you're about to take." "I think that's a good idea." "Don't you?" "OK, I'm finished." "excellent." "Let's move on." "AII right." "Now..." "I have here a complete list of all your possessions... real estate, securities, East Hampton house..." "Mississippi house, art objects, et cetera." "AII of which are in your name." "Who advised you on this?" "You did." "Right." "Except for one item." "A cabin in Sun valley." "well, it's near Sun valley, really." "It's not near Sun valley, Griffin." "It's in Sun valley." "How do you wish to dispose of it?" "He can have it." "Thank you." "Both day and night" "And night and day" "You're gonna see a Iot of me" "What are you thinking?" "I'm thinking women know." "Women know?" "I knew that this was gonna happen." "I knew it." "You want to be honest about this whole thing?" "You want to just put it out on the table?" "I knew when we came here that very first time." "I knew it was over." "Do you remember when Griffin didn't even look at Mona?" "It was like Mona was somebody in cleveland." "He was, Iike, completely fixated on that idiotic..." "What's so funny?" "Yeah." "No." "I know." "You're right." "He was looking at that stupid little hat-check girl." "Yeah." "The hat-check girl..." "It was embarrassing." "But, you know, Iet's be fair to the guy." "Honey, I just feel really badly for Mona." "I feel badly for her." "She's my oldest friend... but I feel bad" "actually, she's lost, Porter." "And I think you should go and help her." "I think you should help her with that house down in Mississippi." "Sure." "Want me to do that?" "would you do that for me?" "Sure." "Sure." "Do you know how lucky we are?" "I do know." "Oh, I couId kick myself for not seeing this coming." "Come on." "Nobody saw it coming." "You all right?" "No, no." "Don't speak." "Don't speak." "I'm having a little trouble breathing, that's all." "Look at me." "What?" "Look at what he's doing to me." "I'm a mess." "Why do you want to give so much power?" "Come on." "You're an amazing woman." "You got a whole second chapter ahead of you." "really?" "Of course you do." "I wouldn't lie to you." "really?" "Of course not." "Come on." "You know, I'm gonna start that new second chapter off... with a wee-wee." "Hi." "My name is Porter Stoddard." "Eugenie." "I'm..." "I'm..." "An architect." "Yeah, I'm an archi" "How did you know I was an architect?" "I Iove to fuck architects." "That's your way of making fun of me?" "well, very nice, nice meeting you... whoever you are." "We're here." "This is it." "Great." "Great." "I knew you'd love it." "Just look at this house!" "What is all that growing around there?" "Oh." "Excuse me, what's this called?" "Kudzu." "Kudzu." "It's kudzu, Porter." "Kudzu." "Yeah." "I'm going to live here..." "full time?" "With my people." "When did you decide that?" "Just now I thought of it." "What do you think?" "well, I think it's a little isolated... to tell you the truth." "I'm so trapped in New York... and I... want to live off the land." "Live off the land." "This is my home." "This feeIs--Porter, this is worth saving." "Yeah, a little painting, plumbing... you know, we strip the floors." "Yeah." "Come on." "I want to show you something." "well, this place looks good." "I think this is terrific." "If you don't go out, how are you gonna meet people?" "It's amazing!" "I am so happy." "Why don't you give him a little smile?" "A smile?" "smile." "What?" "I'm very rusty at all of this." "This is just, you know" "That's normal." "That's normal." "Come on." "Give him another smile." "Oh, my God." "Give him something." "Give him..." "There you go." "It's like riding a bicycle!" "Once you know how, you know how." "I'm gonna go to the ladies' room." "That's a good idea." "Good." "Excuse me." "Do we know each other?" "Oh, no." "I don't think so, no." "Dance?" "You want to dance?" "Come on." "Yeah." "OK." "No, I can't stop the rain on my windowpane" "Can't stop...oh" "Oh, honey, you are-- oh, you are--you big, strong... reliable, steady-as-a- fucking-rock, beautiful friend." "It's hot." "I'm sorry about the air conditioning." "What air conditioning?" "exactly." "I--I--good night." "Are you OK?" "I think we have a family of bats." "Oh, yeah." "It's fine." "You know, I think there's some kind of an insect... in my water there." "Look what I found." "What's that?" "Look." "That's--that's our--that's" "That's the Fourth of july." "I'm seventeen." "I think I'm seventeen there." "I think you're, what?" "I'm twelve." "I think you're still twelve." "That's your father's old truck." "You know, he never" "Come here, Poochie." "Hey, welcome back, Mr. Stoddard." "Hey, how are you?" "Fine." "You don't know if Mrs. Stoddard is upstairs, do you?" "She's at a movie with your kids and the Armenian fella." "What Armenian fella?" "Your daughter's boyfriend." "You think he's Armenian, huh?" "Ooh, a lady came by and dropped this for you." "Ah!" "My watch." "That's great." "Thanks." "Thanks." "Thanks." "She was a beautiful girl." "beautiful, was she?" "She was kind of dirty blonde." "Yeah." "Dirty blonde." "beautiful and dirty blonde." "beautiful and dirty blonde." "well, you know, she fixed my watch." "My watch was broken, and so she fixed it for me." "That's what she does." "She's an expert in watches." "also clocks." "Very expert." "Hey." "Hey, hey, boys." "hello?" "Anybody home?" "Hey, you're back." "That looks good." "Yeah." "God, am I hungry." "No, honey, no." "Let me do that for you." "You know I'm much better with a knife than you are." "Go on." "Go sit down." "That's OK." "You went to the movies with the kids?" "Yeah." "But I want to know about Mona." "What's going on?" "Fine." "She's fine." "What'd you see?" "well, Tom and holly saw this movie... filled with all these dirty jokes... that they had to repeat to me... most of which, of course, I didn't understand." "Do you know what corn-hoIing is?" "Corn-hoIing?" "After my sandwich, OK?" "I'm worried about Mona, though." "Why?" "Do you think she's getting laid?" "Getting laid?" "Yeah, as a professional, what's your opinion?" "What does that mean?" "I mean, as a man." "What's your opinion?" "I haven't given it any thought." "I'II tell you what I think." "I think she has a very high aptitude for sex." "I'm surprised you haven't noticed." "I mean, you've been friends forever." "When I see her, I'II ask her." "What movie did you see?" "Oh, God." "You would hate this movie so much." "It was a woman's movie, OK?" "It was about this sweet little woman... married to this sweet little man... and then she discovers that he's having an affair... with his secretary... only he doesn't know she knows... and then she just loses it... and she pushes him out the window." "Oh." "So she's a murderer." "This sandwich is so delicious." "He doesn't die." "Oh, yeah." "He's just completely broken up." "I mean, he can't walk, he can't talk... and then she takes him home... after this series of very painful operations... and she nurses him back to health... and then she kills him." "She pushes him out the same window." "Anyway, can you tell Mona... that I really want to talk to her about this whole mess?" "This was so good." "You ought to try one." "Let's sit down and talk, OK?" "I think--I think" "I think we want to sit down a bit." "I think if we sit down, and we just talk, OK?" "I think we need to talk about this." "I think we go on like nothing ever happened." "We make a... clean slate." "Door's open." "Anybody here?" "No." "I think..." "I think we've got to talk about this." "Yeah." "Don't even say it." "I'm there." "really?" "Yeah." "We just go on like nothing ever happened?" "Yeah." "Nothing ever happened." "Nothing ever happened." "Great." "people make mistakes." "That's right." "We made a mistake." "We'II give ourselves a..." "clean slate." "clean slate." "Oh, my God." "It's EIIie." "Get up." "Get up." "Go in the bedroom." "Mona!" "Oh, yeah." "Hi." "Hi." "Mona, Porter's having an affair." "No!" "Yes." "How'd you find that out?" "Somebody called me." "A friend." "Friend?" "What kind of friend is that?" "He's having a affair with a musician." "Oh, a musician." "Yes." "Oh." "A cellist." "That's not possible." "Let me get you a cup of coffee." "I don't know what I'm gonna do." "This is just beyond belief." "You know something?" "I'm being paid back... for being so damn smug about my own marriage." "I am so sorry, Mona." "I wasn't very understanding... of what you were going through with Griffin... but now that it's happening to me, oh, boy." "Don't be too hard on yourself." "Morning." "What are you doing here?" "I just came to get my things." "well, you can't just walk in here." "What do you need?" "I need my sport coats." "Yeah?" "well, you have to call me an hour ahead of time." "Now I need to go through lawyers just to get my sport coats." "Yes." "Otherwise, I'm gonna get a restraining order on you!" "Oh." "For my sport coats?" "Yeah." "And my special hangers?" "hello, ellie." "Wait a minute!" "Wait!" "Wait!" "Get down here." "Let me just tell you something." "This is not a good time." "Oh, Iike this is a good time for me." "How many times do I have to be seen driving a van?" "Wait a minute." "What do you need?" "I need my sport coats and my special hangers." "AII right." "Stay right there." "Don't come up here." "So, what's new, ellie?" "well, you know... none of it's easy." "Oh, where are you?" "Oh, this isn't me." "How do I do this?" "Is he coming upstairs?" "Are you fucking a cellist?" "Let me tell you something." "You better have a damn good story when you get home." "Here's your sport coats, and go with God." "Hey, did you see my golf shoes up there?" "No." "You took your golf shoes." "No, I didn't." "I think they're up there." "No, they're not up there." "They're not there." "I'II get them, 'cause I have to go to the bathroom anyway." "I really don't know what I'm gonna do." "I mean, absolutely being realistic in a marriage..." "I mean, is never as simple... as one person doing something to the other person... without the other person being somehow complicit... am I right?" "I can't believe what I just saw." "How could you?" "How could you use my shaver?" "This is hair from your leg." "We had this discussion." "Your hair is all over it." "You're insane." "Listen." "You know what you have to do?" "No." "You have to confront him." "He's in the city, Mona." "Let's go." "Are you gonna come with me?" "Yeah." "Let's go." "AII right." "I'II get my keys." "We'II take your car." "Yeah." "AII right." "Thank you." "You're such a good friend." "Thank you so much." "You would actually think that I would put our marriage... into that kind of jeopardy?" "You think I would put our marriage... into that kind of jeopardy?" "No." "You actuaIIy-- you actually think that I would put our marriage... into that kind of jeopardy?" "You actually think I'd put our marriage... into that kind of jeopardy?" "You actually think" "You actually think that I would put our marriage... into that kind of jeopardy?" "You would..." "Just think about it." "I just want to keep it hidden." "You're in luck." "Here he is." "well, how are you?" "How are you?" "Such wonderful news." "What are you doing here?" "Your housekeeper said you were on your way." "You spoke to my housekeeper?" "I was waiting here, but I only have a few minutes... 'cause I have to go back." "Ok." "well, honey, I'II get you a cab." "Barney, you want to get a cab... for the young lady?" "will you hold this, please?" "I've got such wonderful news." "alex, listen." "You can't be late for rehearsal, because rehearsals are sacred." "News, news happens every day." "Taxi!" "Listen to me!" "It's too, too amazing." "I'm so happy ever since I got the report." "You know, from the doctor." "What--what are you-- what are you-- are you telling me" "Are you telling me that you're pregnant?" "Yes, yes, yes, yes!" "AII right, all right." "Isn't it remarkable?" "That's it." "remarkable." "tell me you're happy for me." "And proud?" "You're proud?" "I want you to be proud." "Proud, yes, proud." "Because you know what?" "AII my Iife, I wanted everything, everything... and now I've got it aII-- my Iife, my music, my baby." "Your taxi." "Yeah, OK." "Good." "Good." "We'II talk about this later, OK?" "I hope so." "Be happy, Porter." "You, too, Barney." "Be happy." "Sweet girl, huh?" "Hi." "What's going on?" "Everything OK?" "I want to ask you a question." "AII right." "Before you answer it..." "I want you to think about what marriage is." "I mean, to me, marriage is about trust." "That's all it is... and I believe an honest marriage can survive anything... but a dishonest marriage-- to me, it's no marriage at all." "Right." "Are you having an affair?" "Of course." "Porter." "Are you asking me if I'm having an affair?" "Are you serious?" "Is she serious?" "hilarious!" "well, I better be going." "No, no." "No, no." "Wait a minute." "No, Mona." "Stay." "Stay!" "Stay!" "AII right, Porter." "We can just forget it." "It's not important, I guess." "It's not important?" "Excuse me." "If somebody's saying something about me..." "I'd Iike to know what it is." "well, a friend of mine said that she saw you... with a young woman." "A cellist." "And you actually think that I would put our marriage... into that kind of jeopardy?" "well, I don't know, Porter." "I just" "I got scared." "Scared?" "Don't you think it might have been a good idea... to take a look at this person and examine whether or not... they actually are your friend, you know?" "Because if you needed to... you could always find a hundred special prosecutors... to come up with any story you're looking for... but I think it might be a good idea... if you would just examine yourself... and why it is that you need to believe... something that would make you pursue... a sordid little fishing expedition like this." "This is--this is-- well, no." "I guess you--no." "You have the temerity, you have the audacity... you have the heartlessness... without a shadow of a fraction of a moment... of a scintilla of a tiny atom of a doubt... to think that I would put our marriage... into that kind of jeopardy?" "That's just fine, ellie!" "Oh, that's just fine!" "Twenty-five years!" "I would have thought better of you, ellie... but that's fine!" "That's fine!" "Good!" "Fine!" "Twenty-five years!" "Her name is alex." "She does play the cello." "You son of a bitch!" "Yeah." "It's all right." "I knew." "I knew it." "I knew this." "This is exactly what you would fall for-- some struggling musician you could take care of... with a big, resonating box between her legs." "God damn it, Porter." "Do you know, we have been together... for so many years, I think I forgot... how little backbone you actually have." "An honest marriage can survive anything." "You just said" "Oh, this is about you and your big, stupid cock." "See you later." "So, what are you saying?" "You don't want to work it out?" "Look around you, Porter." "Look at this life... and when you realize how much work it took... to make you the completely successful man you are... instead of the sneaky, pussy-crazed sIob... you were genetically programmed to become... then maybe you can understand... insofar as it is possible for you to understand... how deeply I hurt." "You're right." "I'm afraid this one's just a little bit out of my league." "I'm gonna have to let you handle this one on your own." "I mean, other emergencies, you know..." "like Iife-threatening illnesses and things like that..." "I think I'm the kind of person you want on your team... but the cellist?" "You'II forgive me if I don't join you for dinner tonight." "asshole." "Hey." "You look awful." "Thanks." "Have you talked to ellie on the phone, by the way?" "I can't." "She's threatened to take out a restraining order." "Yeah." "Mona's answering machine says..." ""Hi, it's Mona." "Leave me a message." "I'II call you back unless I've ever been married to you."" "well, she's funny." "Yeah, funny." "And smart." "Smart and sexy, don't you think?" "Sexy?" "Griffin, I don't think people who are really friends... should keep secrets from each other." "That's absolutely right." "I didn't see it coming." "I just didn't." "I didn't see it coming." "I just didn't." "I didn't." "No." "Of course not." "How could you?" "I mean, you know why?" "Because it's something you hide and then you deny." "bless you." "well, I mean, nobody planned it." "Of course not." "It's programmed." "It's genetic." "You really believe that?" "I mean, it happened to me." "It could have happened to either of us." "I guess that depends on how you feel about ellie." "She's--I mean..." "How I feel about ellie?" "Like you and whoever the redhead was... that--I'm sure that you were just looking for... something that was out of the ordinary..." "something that" "Different." "Different, yeah." "ellie is a woman, Mona's a woman... and they're very complicated." "They're very..." "complicated." "We think we know aII" "Wait a minute, wait a minute... wait a minute." "For God's sake... what you're saying is so interesting." "You're saying that" "Yeah." "No, not--but" "I'm not saying that necessarily is the case, because" "But that they could?" "Does that shock you?" "frankly, it gets me a little hot." "Gets you hot." "Yeah." "really?" "Have you ever seen them kiss?" "Yeah, well, they kiss all the time." "really?" "With tongues?" "Griffin, what are we talking about?" "What?" "I don't know." "I thought I was just gonna tell you..." "that I'm..." "What?" "I was gonna tell you that I'm... going to Sun valley." "Oh, to the cabin, huh?" "Yep." "well, that's smart." "Get away from everything... and just get a clear perspective." "You want to go with?" "Why would I do that?" "You know, to get away, get a clear perspective." "Oh." "Smart." "Yeah." "What would we do there?" "What difference does it make?" "You're sleeping in the office." "She's talking about a restraining order." "Porter, listen, as people get older... they become more who they are... and accepting that can be very freeing." "Sun valley, it's so inspirational." "There's this bracing air and these cold spring torrents... and there's these little all weird little animal species... and that's just inside." "What do you say?" "well, it worked for Ernest Hemingway, didn't it?" "Maybe Sun valley could be the perfect solution." "Hemingway, our greatest writer... he returned to Idaho... to the sky and the snow and the stars... and he communed with nature." "He fished, he hunted, he wrote, he... he shot himself." "Oh, well." "Nice." "What do you think?" "Nice wood." "Nice wood." "Who built it?" "actually, beavers built it." "There used to be a river that flowed right through here." "really?" "And the telephone?" "Where's the telephone?" "There is no phone." "I told you... it was just gonna be you, me, and the wolves." "This place cleans up so nicely." "What are the sleeping arrangements?" "That's it." "Just one mattress." "You don't snore, do you?" "No." "only in the daytime." "At night I just, you know, tend to weep." "Look, why don't I take the couch?" "Because then, it'II be like we're married." "Yeah, I think we'II be very happy together." "well, you know, or not." "Yeah." "Or not." "This is... freezing." "I'm OK." "Do you have worms?" "fly fishing?" "Yeah." "You never fly fish with anything alive." "Dead worms." "What are you gonna be doing for halloween?" "Where are you fishing?" "The river." "Right." "Did you ever consider getting a spinning outfit?" "Maybe for halloween, huh?" "How deep is this river?" "Not very deep." "So, do you want beetles, ants, or wet nymph?" "Wet nymph?" "Yeah." "You know, a bug in its nymph phase." "It floats to the surface, hatches, dries its wings... files into a bush, crashes into the water..." "Iays its eggs and then dies." "Oh, my God." "Where's the male?" "miles away." "well, isn't that a familiar story?" "Your pumpkin." "This is EIIie Stoddard." "I'm not in, or I'm asleep." "Leave a message." "ellie, it's me." "Pick up, will you?" "will you please pick up?" "I need to talk to you." "alice, don't even think about it." "AII right?" "I need to talk to you." "please?" "Sorry" "Goes like this first." "hold still." "Got it." "hello!" "hello!" "Up here!" "Hi." "Remember me from the plane to Mississippi?" "Oh, yeah." "Yeah, sure." "My name's Eugenie." "Eugenie CIaybourne." "Porter." "Porter Stoddard." "Yes, I know." "Porter Stoddard." "This is my friend Griffin." "Why don't you come see me?" "I'm at the lodge." "Oh, I don't get into town much." "I really need to see you." "I have something very important to tell you." "What about?" "What do you" "Watch it, watch it." "You all right?" "Oh, I bruised myself on the rock." "Hi." "Hi." "How are you?" "Oh, sit down." "Sit down." "You remember Griffin?" "Oh, I Iove the name Griffin." "I had a lovely friend named Griffin." "LoveIier than me?" "He died terribly young." "In Borneo." "We were to be married." "Sorry." "That is too bad." "A native tribe found him... floating in his canoe, haIf-deIirious." "And they took him back to their wagas." "Wagas?" "That's what they call their huts." "Right." "And they tended to him... and nursed his wounds and all, and..." "When he was better... they cooked him and ate him." "Do you mean they actuaIIy" "Do you mind if we don't talk about this?" "It's terribly upsetting." "Where are you going?" "Where are you going?" "I'm going to my waga." "You can handle this on your own." "It's amazing how much this place has changed." "When my parents built their house... it was just ranchers and a few ski bums." "Your parents have a house here?" "My father still loves to ski." "He won a gold medal in the biathlon." "The biathlon?" "Skiing and shooting." "Wow." "Shooting and skiing." "When was that?" "What olympics?" "I'm not telling you." "1952." "oslo." "He--he came up here to be with Ernest." "He was devoted." "Ernest Hemingway?" "Yes." "Are they here right now?" "I'd love to meet 'em." "My parents?" "Yeah." "Your parents are very traditional." "They're gonna like you very much." "Buttons!" "Daddy." "What the Sam hill is that noise?" "Mother?" "Daddy, this is Porter Stoddard." "You look a little soft." "Are you out of shape?" "I do my 100 sit-ups every day." "hello." "Who's the stud?" "Mother, this is Porter Stoddard." "So, what brings you up the mountain?" "A vacation." "Vacation." "KiIimanjaro is a snow-covered mountain... 19,710 feet high." "Said to be the highest mountain in Africa." "The western summit is called by the Masai..." "Negaji negai-- a house of God." "close to the summit lies the dried and frozen carcass... of a leopard." "No one has ever explained what the leopard was seeking... at that altitude." "Hemingway." "I understand that you were an intimate of Hemingway's." "Intimate?" "Is that some kind of homo thing?" "Take your finger out of your bunghole, Peregrine." "Where's my drink?" "Where's the swizzle stick?" "Just stir it with that big swinging dick of yours." "Aren't they wonderful?" "Eugenie tells me... that you won the gold medal in the biathlon." "It was 1952." "Norway." "It snowed heaviIy" "Just give him his fucking drink, you old muff-diver." "Mother, please." "Henry, you cocksucker... could we have some ice over here, please?" "Don't pay any attention to her." "Nah." "Thank you." "Mother, I think you really have a problem." "You are damned right I have a problem." "He won't do it to me anymore." "Yes, his limp carrot is the root of all my problems." "AII my doctors tell me so." "Cheers." "Every motherfucking one of them." "Fucking..." "going back upstairs." "With 6-foot drifts... there's no getting down the mountain tonight." "So, good night, Stoddard." "You'II be sleeping in Button's room... and Button's sleeping in my den." "Good night, sweetheart." "Good night, Daddy." "That tickles." "Hi." "Hi." "Oh, no." "What?" "They can't be down here." "They'II be angry." "Who?" "Thomas has Stuffy." "BoogIy Boo has fluffy." "The other Ted has pillow and floppy." "And Rocket has Stiffy." "Stiffy?" "Yeah." "Do you think this is a good idea?" "I think your father was pretty clear... about not, you know" "You're floppy." "No, I just" "You be floppy." "I'II be fluffy." "Oh, OK." "I'm floppy?" "Hi, Mr. CIaybourne." "We're just playing." "I'm--I'm floppy." "You know this game?" "Yes." "I know floppy well.... and all his friends." "Stoddard, I'm not a prude, but let me put it this way:" "Button is a princess, you see." "And that makes you the prince." "And the prince must fight a dragon... to get to his princess." "I am that dragon." "And you, Button... are my BoogIy Boo." "Oh, Daddy." "Stoddard..." "Night, Daddy." "Ah, OK." "I'm so sleepy." "You don't want to play?" "well, I'm a little sleepy." "well, Iet's just cuddle." "OK." "OK." "Just because you made one bad choice in a woman... doesn't mean we need to sit around here all night." "I mean, really, there's plenty of fish in the sea." "I wonder what fish say." ""Hey, there's plenty of chicks on the beach."" "Hey, look who's here." "Happy birthday to you" "Happy birthday to you" "Happy birthday, Mr. President" "Happy birthday to you" "Remember?" "From the hardware store." "You asked me what I was doing on halloween." "This is what i'm doing." "I'm going to the party with you guys." "That's fantastic." "We can't do that." "Why not?" "Yeah." "Why not?" "Because we're on a sort of a retreat." "Wow, who's reading SoIzhenitsyn?" "That's fantastic." "Aren't they great, the Russians?" "Dostoyevsky, GogoI, Turgenev." "AII that gloom and loneliness and desperation." "Are you guys gay?" "Hey, I don't mind." "couple of guys out here... in the middle of nowhere reading books about men... all jammed in prison together." "huddled together for warmth and companionship." "well, you know, there's no reason... we couldn't go to the party... for just, Iike, an hour, huh?" "What are you talking about?" "Where are you going?" "To get your costumes." "What do you think of Pushkin, huh?" "Hey, you're going as Pushkin." "A kiss on the hand" "May be quite continental" "But diamonds are a girl's best friend" "A kiss may be grand" "But it won't pay the rental on your humble flat" "This is stupid, Tom !" "Why would your father come to a godforsaken place like this?" "Maybe he wanted to get away from irritating women." "Maybe that's it." "Where are you going?" "I'm gonna see if anybody here could help us, OK?" "Champagne and a cherry." "will you get me another margarita?" "Thank you." "Hey, I need another margarita." "I'm sweating." "You're what?" "I'm sweating." "You should be sweating." "It's hot, and you're a polar bear... and we're in the continental United States." "Listen, I want to go talk to that spider by the door." "Which spider?" "The one with the 6 legs." "would you just keep marilyn occupied... for just a couple minutes?" "No." "For the King?" "For the King?" "You'd do it" "I need a margarita." "I'm sweating." "I think the straw went down my leg." "She was the only one who had sympathy for him... because he was so deaf from the bells." "What?" "He was deaf from the bells, you know." "And EsmeraIda is the only one who felt bad... and had pity towards him because he was deaf." "What?" "He was deaf!" "Hi." "You know..." "I gotta tell you, I'm a leg man... and these two have been driving me crazy." "The whole outfit." "It's fantastic." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yours, too." "Thank you." "Are you elvis or EveI KnieveI?" "I'm gonna have to get out of here in a little bit, OK?" "I'm sorry." "I'm not in a very..." "I still don't" "elvis." "It's elvis." "Oh." "Heh." "elvis." "You know what?" "You're wrong." "You're just wrong." "That's all." "You're generalizing." "AII men are not the same." "AII I'm saying is that in my experience" "What experience!" "You're 19 years old, for God's sakes." "You don't have any experience!" "AII I'm saying is that it's a scientific fact... that the connection between the blood supply... to the brain and the blood supply... to the penis are basically the same." "Hey, you know what?" "Just don't talk anymore." "What the hell is that?" "There's gotta be a hole in here somewhere." "There's people here." "What a surprise." "Dad?" "I can't get this thing off." "This is Auburn." "This is my friend Auburn." "This is holly, and this is Tom." "That's my son, Tom." "Oh." "Let's go." "Where you going, Tom?" "OK, OK." "If there's one thing I know now... it's that nothing matters anymore... except going back and fixing this mess." "Making EIIie listen to me whether she wants to or not." "Letting her see how much I care." "Just taking her in my arms... and saying, "EIIie, I am your husband." "I am not a polar bear." "I am not a polar bear."" "Stay here." "I wish he wouldn't get so upset." "well, he is upset." "That man left you... in the middle of the night without a word." "Left you Iike a used kleenex." "Oh, Mother, but if it doesn't bother me" "Left you Iike a $2.00 hooker." "Oh, dear." "well, did you kill it, oh, great, white asshole hunter?" "If there's one positive thing that's come from this trip... it's that I've really grown to love that cabin." "How are you?" "Oh, God." "I'm meeting Didier." "Didier, huh?" "Listen, listen." "Things are very clear now." "Things are very clear." "I'm completely committed to my wife and to my marriage... and I always will be, but I just" "I don't want you to think... that I'm the kind of person who's not... going to step up and take full responsibility." "You know what I mean by responsibility?" "full responsibility?" "Huh?" "Yeah, for the baby, I mean." "A baby?" "A baby?" "You're having a baby?" "Oh, my God." "Of course, you'II be taking responsibility at your age." "What about your wife?" "She must be thrilled having a baby." "Taxi!" "Don't you have, Iike, two grown children already?" "Listen, there's nothing to be frightened of, Porter." "There's nothing to be frightened of." "It sounds like you have the perfect relationship." "I mean, Didier and I do, too... and it's not easy, because I'm" "I'm so unpredictable and Didier's such a loner." "But when he found out that he's gonna be a daddy... that's Iike--it changed everything between us, you know?" "But listen, you know when we first met?" "Yeah." "I had no idea." "No idea?" "What?" "That I was pregnant." "I had no idea." "really?" "Yeah." "Wish me luck, OK?" "Good luck, good luck." "Good luck, Porter." "Good luck." "Can I talk to Tom, please?" "Stoddard no aqui." "Ha ha!" "No aqui." "¿Donde?" "If you know what I mean." "Institute Design." "Institution of what?" "Institute Design." "OK." "AII right, gracias." "Hasta luego." "Tom, wait." "Shit." "Now, if you'II pardon, it's table number 11." "Your award will be the penultimate." "The penultimate?" "Oh, my God." "Oh, dear." "OK, all right." "Prepare to bow." "hello." "Have you ever stopped to think about... how little we know about each other?" "Good, good" "Sorry." "Thank you so much." "I would Iike to say a few words... about dinnerware and cutlery, where it's been." "Mom." "What?" "WouIdn't it be nice if Dad were here?" "I'm sorry, alice." "I don't want to talk about that right now." "I know, but Iisten" "Oh, my God." "Oh, you stained it." "I'II take care of it." "I'II handle it." "I'm sorry." "Oh, alice." "She spilled some wine on her, um..." "Listen, I've got to tell you about the redhead." "No, you don't." "Yes, I do." "Yes, I do." "Why?" "Because we're best friends." "That's what best friends do." "They share certain important details." "Not now, OK?" "That looks awful." "I know what I'm gonna do." "I'm just gonna lead a nice, simple... quiet, contemplative, celibate life." "I'm just gonna plunge into work." "Excuse me." "well, you're very lucky that you get to plunge into work." "Oh, and I have always been so jealous of you, ellie." "Oh, really?" "Have you really?" "well, yeah, you're" "well, Iet me tell you something." "Here's the truth." "I've always been jealous of you." "What?" "Yes, yes." "That cracks me up." "Why?" "Because I think Porter always had a kind of thing for you." "You did?" "really?" "EIIie" "Hi." "Hi, hello." "Oh, that's so sad." "That beautiful suit." "You need white wine." "White wine?" "pulls the red right out." "Oh." "What were you saying?" "Just" "What do you mean?" "What I was saying?" "Oh, yeah, about him having, Iike, a thing" "That's a very pretty color of lipstick." "Oh, it's called "Evening Rose."" "You want to try it?" "Oh, no, no." "Thanks very much." "actually, it's for luck." "I wear it whenever I play." "What do you play?" "Oh, RaveI, Stravinsky, Bach, Haydn" "No, I meant what instrument?" "ellie." "This is a beautiful building." "I just love architecture, don't you?" "My fiancé is an architect." "Architect?" "We're going to elope tonight." "Oh, that's so romantic." "God." "You should use hair spray on that." "Hair spray?" "I promise." "I de-stained an entire sofa once with hair spray." "Let's try it." "Thank you very much." "You know, I have a friend who is an architect." "Maybe your fiancé knows him." "What's his name?" "Hey, excuse me." "This thing isn't over, is it?" "No, no, no, but I think you've missed dinner." "Oh, that's OK." "I ate on the plane." "How'd you get that yellow stain?" "Both: yellow." "actually, I wasn't even invited." "I'm kind of sneaking in." "Why?" "Oh, boy, it's a Iong story." "Um" "Mom." "Oh, all right." "OK, all right." "We're coming." "We're coming." "Bye-bye." "I've got to tell you something." "Go ahead." "OK, this is difficult." "Just say it." "Just say it." ""O tan-faced prairie-boy..." ""before you came to camp came many a welcome gift;" "You came, taciturn, with nothing to give."" "What are you talking about?" ""We but look'd on each other, when Io!" "More than all the gifts in the world you gave me."" "What?" ""O Tan-faced Prairie-Boy."" "Whitman." "Make the light, please." "Hi." "What are you doing here?" "well, I came to see you." "Why?" "Porter, I want to tell Mona something really important." "What?" "That I'm..." "What?" "That I'm..." "What, what, what, what?" "That I'm" "Pay the man, will you?" "Wait." "Porter." "Porter, just a second." "please, um..." "And you came all the way here just to" "Yeah, I felt like I owed it to to you." "He also said that she is the only woman... that he has ever loved... and he thinks about her all the time... and you and your sister." "And that without you all his life would be meaningless." "Can't you understand?" "It's like getting rid of this great burden... and now I can move forward with my Iife... you know, naked and unashamed." "well not, you know, naked, but-- but certainly unashamed." "And none of this, Porter, would have happened... if I hadn't gone into that little cafe down in Tribeca." "AII I wanted was a cafe au lait, and I got waiter!" "Wish me luck." "ellie, your handyman." "Oh, no." "Shh..." "Oh, this is" "I'm sorry." "This is not the pIace" "You're embarrassing-- you're embarrassing my family... you're embarrassing my friends... and you're embarrassing yourself." "would you please pipe down." "I'm sorry, sir." "I said I'm sorry." "Do we have a problem here?" "Just pipe down, OK?" "OK, if somebody's gonna pipe down..." "I think you're gonna be the one that pipes down." "Security!" "You don't have to explain anything." "Oh, yes, I do." "AII right, all right." "Mona, I'm gay!" "I'm a proud, gay, human person." "Bravo." "Did he say "gay"?" "Good night, gentlemen." "Good-bye." "Where are you going?" "Porter, where are you going?" "What--Porter, what are you doing?" "Oh, that's a bad idea." "Our next awardee has shown us that the art of fabric design... is not only alive and well... but flourishing." "eleanor Stoddard." "Oh, thank you." "Oh, my God." "Oh, Roberta." "Thank you very much." "I--here." "Oh." "Hi." "Do you know her?" "No, no." "That cellist?" "Yes, yes." "Oh, man." "She's the cellist, right?" "What?" "Porter, listen, I" "I have to talk to you about something eIse" "Hi." "Hi." "Hi." "Um..." "hello again." "Hi." "Hi." "You know what?" "I would just like to tell you... that you have a really great son... and a great husband." "Nothing happened, you know." "We were just in the snow, and I was on top of him... kind of near his face so it looked..." "like, um, well, he'II explain it to you." "Get some sleep, OK?" "Is there any woman in this room you haven't slept with, Porter?" "obviously not." "Everybody back." "Back." "Aah!" "Oh, my God." "You refused my hospitality... you insulted my beloved daughter" "Drop the gun!" "Drop the gun!" "Sir, can you explain who this man is?" "Can you explain any of this?" "Sir?" "AII right, can we just turn our attention... to the Iast page of the possessions list." "Is there anything missing from it?" "Yes, willie and charlie." "Ooh, your children." "No, no, no." "Our dogs." "Yes, of course." "The dogs." "And I'II keep the dogs." "I think the dogs would be better off with me." "Why would you say that?" "They're happier with me." "You're the one who said they adored me." "They're intimidated by you." "They just pretend to adore you." "You see, they're highly intelligent dogs" "Let's settle the dog issue" "They love being in the country... where they were trained." "I did that." "You did that." "The country." "I don't think we decided who gets the house." "I have." "I designed the house-- it took two years." "I built all those rooms for the kids... with my own hands." "Did you do that?" "I furnished the house-- it took 7 years." "I gave birth to our two kids with my own loins." "Did you do that?" "So, I guess I'II be living in the apartment." "Yeah?" "Did I say that?" "I don't believe I said that." "Hi." "Hi." "Didn't mean to scare you." "Oh, no, you didn't scare me." "You startled me." "I just wasn't expecting" "To see me?" "To see you." "Ever?" "No, of course not." "Not ever." "I mean, I knew I'd bump into you someday." "bless you." "God, have you ever thought of having this stuff cleaned?" "I think about it constantly." "That one comes with a surgical mask." "Don't be funny." "What I have come here to say is very serious." "You look great, by the way." "And don't say flattering things, either." "OK." "I'II do my best." "Anything else I should try to avoid?" "I'II tell you as we go along." "How's EIIie?" "Have you seen here?" "I talked to her." "How is she?" "Terrific." "Good." "How's Porter?" "fabulous." "One birch-bark canoe." "I'II take the canoe." "The canoe goes with the house." "You hate the canoe." "I don't hate the canoe." "I hate rowing." "You get seasick." "I Iike getting seasick sometimes." "And besides, the kids Iike" "The kids?" "Wait a minute." "Wait a minute." "What are you talking about?" "We haven't talked about the kids yet." "well, we're talking about them right now." "could we talk about the children later?" "That's a whole different issue." "The children are 65." "I think they're old enough to decide for themselves." "OK, well, I think my daughter will decide... she wants to be with her father." "Oh, so now you want to split up the kids?" "Yeah, fine, fine." "If that's what's fair, that's fine." "OK, so fair?" "So what?" "You want one kid and you want one dog... and you want half the canoe." "Good." "A half a canoe would be fine." "I don't think so, Porter, and I don't think... that that would hold up in any court in the land." "please, Iet's not talk about courts." "Mona, you don't have to tell me." "Yes, just let me get this out." "please, Griffin." "Don't fuck it up." "I am telling you... there are some things that are better left unsaid." "We don't need to know everything." "Griffin, can you look me in the eye... and say that there are some things... that are best left unsaid?" "Have you lost your mind?" "After living 20 years of a lie... when the truth would have served us better?" "And knowing what I know now, at Ieast I couId have had... half a chance of a life with somebody... who wouldn't make me feel like a failure." "And I spent all those years buying lingerie to-- who did you think I was buying it for, Griffin, you?" "Some of it." "well..." "I felt cheap in the red teddy." "OK, I've--that's a joke." "please." "Honey, please don't" "Mona, Mona, listen to me." "I know." "I know." "You know?" "Yes." "And it's OK." "really?" "Yes." "Oh, honey, you know everything?" "Yes." "Oh..." "Oh, doesn't this feel good?" "Let's just recapituIate." "The Lartique photographs, the Stark chairs." "What about the season tickets to the metropolitan?" "well, I'II take them." "I mean, did you ever use them?" "OK, that leaves just one item." "A first edition of FitzgeraId's "Tender is the Night."" "Did you ever read it?" "I read it out loud to you." "You had pneumonia." "You cried at the end." "Excuse me." "Women tend to respond strongly to it." "It's very sentimental." "I cried, too." "I prefer "Gatsby," myself." "Did you ever read it to your wife?" "No." "actually, she doesn't like the sound of my voice." "Did I say something funny?" "No, you didn't." "You said something sad." "well, I think we've done very well here." "Don't you, eleanor?" "Yeah." "Very, very well." "Because if you think you've been treated unfairly..." "in this process" "No, it's been very fair..." "After all, Porter, if you hadn't" "I mean... none of this would have happened if you hadn't" "I'm sorry." "What?" "well, if he hadn't done the... all the things that..." "if he...you know, ellie... if he hadn't had-- had relations with" "Oh, come on!" "He's right!" "He's right!" "It's clear, look at it." "I've been a thoughtless sIeazebag." "That's exactly right." "Look what I've done." "Just look at it." "I've caused pain to everybody in my Iife that I Iove:" "my kids, my innocent kids... my friends, everyone that I know." "My dogs!" "I've caused pain to my dogs." "And clearly I must have been willing... to sacrifice everything... that meant anything at all to me in my Iife." "Porter, Iet's not go overboard, all right?" "So you're not the perfect person you thought you were." "I have no idea who I thought I was." "The only thing that I know... is that I'm not who I was when we met." "I'm not a kid." "You know?" "And I know now that no empty phiIandering... is gonna make me feel like one... 'cause the only thing that I felt... when I tried it was lonely." "Just lonely." "And I know I'd do anything to get you back... but I've lost you." "I know that." "I got to live with that." "But you are who you were when we met." "You're just as beautiful, you're just as smart... and you're just as honest... as you were the day that I fell in love with you." "And I am a fool." "And I know that." "So, is there anything left?" "There's a whole lot left." "well, what did you expect, huh?" "I mean, come on." "Is your marriage perfect?" "Have you ever been a fool?" "You got to keep trying, right?" "You got to keep trying, and you got to keep hoping." "You got to keep hoping, I mean..." "hello, Porter." "There's always something left... if two people have ever really loved each other." "And..." "I've never loved anyone else." "Who knows?" "Maybe someday she'II let me back in the door." "Or maybe after a while she'II even let me upstairs." "But, for now..." "let's just hope she lets me down off this roof."