"¶ ¶" "DUDE:" "Uh,hey,are you using these chair...?" "LINDSAY:" "Backoff!" "(scooches chair)" "GRETCHEN:" "SundayFunday!" "LINDSAY:" "SundayFunday!" "(Gretchen laughs)" "(both grunt)" "LINDSAY:" "Wherehaveyou been?" "I've had to fight off wave after wave of hungry, cool dads and trust-fund alts." "It's been like a hipster Game of" "Thronesupin thisbitch." "GRETCHEN:" "Sorry,Ty droveme." "LINDSAY:" "YoubangedTylast  night?" "GRETCHEN:" "Worse...he came over this morning to invite me to the Tribeca Film Festival." "We'd leave tonight on a private plane." "LINDSAY( gasps):" "Gretch..." "Tribeca is super hip." "It, like, stands for something." "GRETCHEN:" "Thetrianglebelow" "Canal." "LINDSAY:" "No." "Somethingreal." "I'll think of it later." "Private plane...!" "GRETCHEN( singsongy):" "Private plane...!" "LINDSAY( singsongy):" "Dickson  a private plane..." "GRETCHEN:" "ButJimmy..." "LINDSAY:" "Gretchen." "Ty is famous." "Also, he's a total dog, so he's never gonna want you to meet his gross Polish parents or tell you about his squash games or ask you to shave his butthole." "GRETCHEN:" "Tellme youdon 't shave Paul's butthole." "LINDSAY:" "Marriageis dark," "Gretch." "GRETCHEN:" "I wantto go ,but not even really, because of Ty." "LINDSAY:" "Right." "Private plane, free champagne." "GRETCHEN:" "No,here'swhat's keeping me up all night:" "Even though Jimmy's a squirrelly guy, when I look at him, I swear I can see years into the future with this dude." "And that is why I am thinking of getting on that plane." "LINDSAY:" "Geez..." "What are you going to do?" "GRETCHEN:" "I 'mgonnahavethe  best goddamn Sunday Funday ever and figure it out later." "LINDSAY:" "Figureit outlater, dicks on a plane, Sunday Funday." "GRETCHEN:" "SundayFunday!" "EDGAR:" "SundayFunday, biznitches!" "(women laughing)" "LINDSAY,EDGAR,GRETCHEN:" "¶ Sunday Funday" "Better than a Monday" "Can only do it one way" "¶ And that is the drunk way" "Sunday Funday... ¶" "JIMMY:" "BloodyMaryand  a triple whiskey neat." "For the love of God, hurry." "LINDSAY,EDGAR,GRETCHEN:" "¶ And that is the drunk way!" "¶" "¶I 'mgonnaleaveyou anyway" "I'm gonna leave you anyway" "Gonna leave you anyway. ¶" "GRETCHEN( laughs):" "I can't believe you agreed to come to" "Sunday Funday..." "JIMMY:" "JustbecauseIdecided to come to a "drinking"" "brunch does not mean I'm part of your juvenile ritual." "LINDSAY:" "Jimmy,SundayFunday is not juvenile." "Sunday Funday is about participating in fun activities with friends." "EDGAR:" "SundayFundayisabout squeezing every drop of life out of the weekend... before Monday." "JIMMY:" "Right,neitherofyou has a job." "LINDSAY:" "Youcannot havea job and still hate Mondays." "EDGAR:" "LikeGarfield." "LINDSAY:" "LikeGarfield," "Jimmy..." "Garfield." "EDGAR:" "Hmm,well,you picked the right day to come-- it's my turn." "JIMMY:" "Oh,youtaketurns." "GRETCHEN:" "Yeah,twoweeks ago, I made a list of activities." "Last week was Lindser's." "Today is Edgar's." "EDGAR:" "Youmaynot believe this, but I never got to lead a mission in Iraq." "JIMMY:" "Hmm." "EDGAR:" "AndI'mtellingyou," "I have designed the Ultimate" "Sunday Funday List Ever of All" "Time..." "Ever." "JIMMY:" "Whatdoesitsay?" ""Mooch off Jimmy, scream in your sleep, threaten people at Best" "Buy"?" "EDGAR:" "No..." "It's a surprise." "GROUP( chanting):" "Sunday" "Funday." "Sunday Funday." "Sunday Funday." "RINGLEADER:¶ Ooh,yeah,baby" "Can't get enough of the Sunday" "Now ¶" "MANBUN:¶Funday,Sunday¶" "RINGLEADER:" "And..." "WOMEN:¶ Fun...¶" "RINGLEADER:" "Reallygood stuff." "Really good stuff, you guys." "JIMMY:" "Thosearethe kindof people who do Sunday Funday." "EDGAR:" "I 'mfromL.A." "Fun hipster shit is just poor" "Latino shit from ten years ago." "(Lindsay laughs)" "I'm telling you, this is gonna be the most underground, unique and dope Sunday Funday Ever..." "RINGLEADER:" "Hey,man,you , uh, dropped this." "EDGAR( sighs):" "Thanks." "RINGLEADER:" "Don'tworryabout it." "Hey, I think it's really cool that you guys are doing Sunday" "Funday, you know?" "I kind of started it." "Recognize these?" "From Drive?" "(chuckles)" "All right, man, have fun." "(giggles)" "LINDSAY:" "ToSundayFunday." "(Edgar grunts)" "GRETCHENLINDSAY:¶A" "Sunday, a Funday" "A better than a Monday. ¶" "RINGLEADER:¶ SundayFunday" "Sunday Funday" "Beep, ba-boop, Sunday Funday" "Ooh, yeah. ¶" "JIMMY:" "Oh,seeyou ." "LINDSAY( grunts):" "Tyinvited" "Gretchen to go to Tribeca." "They're leaving tonight." "JIMMY:" "Tribeca?" "!" "LINDSAY:" "It'sthetriangle for canals, Jimmy." "JIMMY:" "Tonight?" "Seriously?" "Well, that's fine." "We're both free to do what we want." "LINDSAY:" "YoureallywantTy flying Gretchen on a private plane to a fancy film festival?" "JIMMY:" "Look,she'sabig girl." "She can make her own decisions." "LINDSAY:" "No,shecan 't!" "Her decisions are 99% dog shit." "She got LASIK at the Pasadena" "Flea Market." "For some perverse reason, you make her happy." "So, ask yourself this:" "Do you want Ty's claws even deeper into her?" "GRETCHEN:" "Ready,Lindsanity?" "JIMMY:" "Youknow,onsecond thought, I think I will witness this juvenile display myself." "There's near-constant drinking involved, right?" "LINDSAY:" "Near-constant." "GRETCHEN:" "Well...okay." "LINDSAY:" "Fullsquad!" "GRETCHEN:" "Fullsquad." "EDGAR:" "Fullsquad." "Let's go!" "(Lindsay whoops)" "(sighs)" "LINDSAY:" "Ew..." "Why are records so gross?" "(gasps)" "(whispers):" "Hey, look." "That other weird brunch group is here." "EDGAR:" "Oh,no ." "LINDSAY:" "What?" "EDGAR:" "Backat the restaurant, I dropped the list and that guy returned it." "LINDSAY:" "Aw,thatwas niceof him." "EDGAR:" "No,don'tyou see ?" "He copied the list." "Otherwise, why would he be at this exact, obscure record store?" "LINDSAY:" "You'rebeing paranoid." "EDGAR:" "No..." "I've let important intel slip into the wrong hands before." "Najaf, 2009." "That did not turn out well." "JIMMY:" "Hey... pick a record, my treat." "GRETCHEN:" "Allright, big spender." "This one." "(Jimmy laughs)" "JIMMY:" "Genesis...good." "Okay, but not until you tell me if you are a Peter Gabriel or a" "Phil Collins." "GRETCHEN:" "They'rebothgood." "JIMMY:" "What?" "GRETCHEN:" "I likethemboth." "What's the big deal?" "JIMMY:" "Thebigdealisthat you cannot like two things which are diametrically opposed." "GRETCHEN:" "Huh." "And yet I do." "RINGLEADER:" "Oh,hey... brunch guy." "Oh, you know about this place, too?" "EDGAR:" "Yeah." "RINGLEADER:" "Yeah,I-Ilove it, it's so... authentic." "EDGAR:" "Yeah." "That's why it was on my list." "RINGLEADER:" "Oh,cool,yeah." "Mine, too." "EDGAR:" "Cramp." "RINGLEADER:" "Oh,good." "Sunday Funday." "(Ringleader speaking Spanish)" "LINDSAY:" "Look!" "Ababyrecord." "GRETCHEN:" "Yourottenbitch!" "You're leaving now?" "LINDSAY:" "Paulhasawork  barbecue." "GRETCHEN:" "I 'mfacingamajor decision, and you're leaving me to hang with those calorie-counting" "Restylane-monsters?" "LINDSAY:" "I hatethe salad-eaters, too, but I have to go." "GRETCHEN:" "Juststayfor one  more thing on the list." "Please?" "LINDSAY:" "Onlyif youbuy me the little baby record." "JIMMY:" "Ow." "Ow ." "Ow !" "GRETCHEN:" "Youarethe tensest dude in the world." "LINDSAY:" "Youcanliterally touch me anywhere." "I'm not shy." "JIMMY:" "Hey,Edgar,how did  you narrow it down to this massage spot?" "I mean, after all, it's so much easier to just not make choices, right, Gretch?" "GRETCHEN:" "Herewe go ." "EDGAR:" "Whatareyou talking about?" "JIMMY:" "PeterGabrielversus" "Phil Collins." "EDGAR:" "RememberwhenPhil" "Collins drowned a guy?" "JIMMY:" "That'snotthe story at all." "That didn't happen." "It was disproven a billion times." "EDGAR:" "Hesentthe guy  front-row tickets." "JIMMY:" "Saying"both"isjust  a cop-out." "All right, that's it." "I'm helping you figure it out." "GRETCHEN:" "Oh,God." "JIMMY:" "Okay,so Icouldask you-- "Solsbury Hill" or" ""Against All Odds."" "GRETCHEN:" "Bothgreat." "EDGAR:" "Okay." "Aah!" "JIMMY:" "Wrong,whichiswhy we're going to come at this sideways, okay?" "Number one: which do you prefer?" "(Lindsay screams, thuds)" "Sean Connery or Roger Moore?" "GRETCHEN:" "DanielCraig." "Update your references, old man." "JIMMY:" "DanielCraig?" "He looks like an upset baby." "(Gretchen laughs)" "GRETCHEN:" "Oh,my God, he does." "EDGAR:" "Letit out." "Throwit!" "JIMMY:" "Okay,eggsor pancakes?" "GRETCHEN:" "Whichone'sPhil" "Collins, and which one's Peter" "Gabriel?" "JIMMY:" "Areyouserious?" "Edgar, what are we doing here?" "EDGAR:" "Themostobscuretaco  stand..." "What?" "!" "FOODCOLUMNIST:" "Well,this place is over." "RINGLEADER:" "Oh,cool." "You guys know about this place, too?" "GRETCHEN:" "Look,Jimmy,Ilike  the Tarzan soundtrack, and I like the crappy Vampire Weekend song that name-checks Peter" "Gabriel." "I'm down with it all." "Why does this bother you so much?" "JIMMY:" "It'sjustsuchalazy way of living." ""Put it in my vagina or my butt." "I don't care."" "LINDSAY:" "Sometimesyouwant both." "GRETCHEN:" "Yeah,Jimmy." "Sometimes you want both." "(Gretchen mouthing words)" "Anyway, your whole thesis is flawed." "Not everything is one or the other." "Edgar is both a patriot and a skeptic." "EDGAR:" "Truedat." "GRETCHEN:" "Lindsay'sbotha wife and a skank." "LINDSAY:" "Recovering,but, yeah, totally." "GRETCHEN:" "I 'mprofessional and completely unprofessional." "JIMMY:" "Well,that'strue." "GRETCHEN:" "And,you,Jimmy-- you're..." "You're just one thing." "JIMMY:" "Exactly." "LINDSAY:" "Youstopit." "Oh, my God." "(Lindsay screaming)" "(phone chimes)" "JIMMY:" "Well,you'revery popular today." "GRETCHEN:" "I know." "Sorry." "There, I'm done." "You know why I don't want to pick Peter Gabriel or Phil" "Collins?" "Because you are just waiting for me to pick wrong so you can judge me, and why would I want to put myself through that?" "JIMMY:" "BecauseI'maskingyou to." "GRETCHEN:" "Youtoldhim ." "LINDSAY:" "What?" "!" "No ." "Gretch, stop overthinking everything." "He's trying to be a good sport and hang out." "Just enjoy it." "GRETCHEN:" "Okay,I'lltry , but don't leave." "LINDSAY:" "I know,it 'sgonna suck so hard, but Paul has been really patient." "(Paul yawning)" "GRETCHEN:" "Wait." "Has Paul been...?" "LINDSAY:" "You'llmakethe  right decision." "GRETCHEN:" "What'snext?" "EDGAR:" "Comeon ,I'llshow you." "It's the best one yet." "GRETCHEN:" "Faster!" "Faster!" "JIMMY:" "No,slowdown!" "EDGAR:" "Shoppingcartraces were my favorite as a kid." "Yeah!" "(group hoots and whoops)" "EDGAR:" "Jimmy!" "You okay?" "JIMMY:" "I justwanttogo home and shower!" "What are we doing here?" "EDGAR:" "Openhousesare onthe list." "Plus, this real estate lady always has freshly baked cookies." "GRETCHEN:" "Greatidea,Edgar." "A free activity where you can snoop on your neighbors and judge their shitty taste?" "Yes, please." "Get upstairs." "JIMMY:" "What...?" "!" "GRETCHEN:" "Quick,takea shower." "JIMMY:" "Comeon ,what...here?" "GRETCHEN:" "DowhatIsay." "I'll get you some dry clothes." "Sunday Funday." "JIMMY:" "Oh,Gretchen,comeon." "JIMMY:" "Oh,right!" "I thought of another one, okay?" "Chekov's plays or Chekov's short stor... (laughs)" "Gretchen?" "(Gretchen conversing, muffled)" "GRETCHEN:" "I know,it sounds amazing, Ty." "I gotta go." "I'll call you in a bit." "EDGAR:" "Therealestatelady  said Jimmy left." "GRETCHEN:" "Hedid?" "!" "Well, Sunday Funday's over." "EDGAR:" "No!" "We can't quit now." "GRETCHEN:" "Wedon'thavea car." "Jimmy drove." "RINGLEADER( chuckling):" "Whoa." "Are you guys following us?" "EDGAR:" "Yousonofa bitch." "You stole my list." "RINGLEADER:" "Whatareyou  talking about?" "GRETCHEN:" "Edgar." "EDGAR:" "Backat brunch," "I dropped the list and he clearly copied everything on it." "He stole our Sunday Funday." "RINGLEADER:" "No,Ididn't." "EDGAR:" "Openhousesare on your list, too?" "And this exact two-bedroom colonial charmer?" "RINGLEADER:" "Welookfor Patty" "Kohan's open houses." "She always has cookies." "What's that in your hand, man?" "Looks like a cookie." "(laughs)" "GRETCHEN:" "I likeyour sweatshirt." "SWEATSHIRTGIRL:" "Oh ,my God, thanks." "How's your Sunday Funday going?" "GRETCHEN:" "Actually,I'mjust using it as a distraction so I don't have to decide between two guys." "SWEATSHIRTGIRL:" "Oh ,Ihear you." "I am in love with Keith." "GRETCHEN:" "Theguywiththe man bun?" "SWEATSHIRTGIRL:" "We 'vebeen doing Sunday Funday for, like, two years, and he still calls me Sloppy Sweatshirt Girl." "So I totally understand where you're coming from." "GRETCHEN:" "Yeah,cool." "I need to talk to Lindsay." "EDGAR:" "She'sat Paul's" "West Side barbecue." "How are we gonna get there?" "We don't have a car." "No." "No." "¶ ¶" "(Gretchen mouthing words)" "(women laughing)" "GRETCHEN:" "Excuseme ." "Ladies, I need to borrow dear" "Linds for a second." "Toodles!" "¶I gotit all" "I got it all indeed" "Got everything I want" "¶ Everything I need" "But what I don't got is" "A feeling that's inside... ¶" "LINDSAY:" "They'renotthat bad." "GRETCHEN:" "I knewit !" "There is one over there dressed head-to-toe in riding gear." "There is not a horse around for miles." "LINDSAY:" "Anyway,thisis your fault!" "GRETCHEN:" "How?" "!" "LINDSAY:" "AroundyouI'm  never the cool one." "But with them, I'm the coolest." "By, like, miles." "GRETCHEN:" "First,youget  married, then you abandon me for these Botoxed pterodactyls." "I've never done that to you." "I don't even have any other friends." "Plus, you lied when you said you were dreading coming here." "LINDSAY:" "I wasn'tlying." "That's the weird thing." "I don't even know exactly what I was dreading." "I like the people." "I like the food." "I don't know what it is." "PAUL:" "Sweetie,Jennawantsto know if she should serve your spinach dip with water crackers or toast points." "LINDSAY:" "Justgo away!" "I'll be right there!" "So, yeah." "I can't quite put my finger on what it is I don't like here." "What?" "I mean, I'm sure at some point, everybody looks at their husband and is like," ""Eh, that's my future." "That's it." "And why does it smell like ham all the time?"" "That's normal, right?" "GRETCHEN:" "I hopenot." "LINDSAY:" "I justwishIhad what you have." "GRETCHEN:" "Whatdo Ihave?" "LINDSAY:" "SomeoneIwantedto do Sunday Funday with." "GRETCHEN:" "Actually, he bailed." "I was hoping he'd stick around to help me figure out what to do about Ty, but he's..." "He's here!" "GRETCHEN:" "Well,well." "JIMMY:" "Hey." "Listen, um... (clears throat)" "Phil Collins-- he has his merits, all right?" "As lightweight and nutritionless they are." "I mean, really, "Land of" "Confusion," with is leaden pleas for world peace and the healing power of love." "Thank you, George Bernard Shaw." "Give me a fortnight to machete my way through the dense..." "GRETCHEN:" "Jimmy..." "JIMMY:...metaphoricthicket of those lyrics." "GRETCHEN:" "Jimmy..." "JIMMY:" "AndwhilePeter" "Gabriel, he's, he's complex, dark, you know, interesting," "I recognize that it can be nice to have some breezy "No Reply at All" fun." "You know, but following you around all day today just trying to convince you what to do?" "Well, it's... it's just made me feel, just-just made me feel a-ashamed and jealous and low." "Like Phil Collins when he wrote "Sussudio."" "GRETCHEN:" "Jimmy..." "JIMMY:" "Butif oneday ,right, eggs forced you to choose between themselves and pancakes, and you chose the soggy, tasteless pancakes and never ate eggs ever again, I'm just saying eggs... the eggs would be really sad." "GRETCHEN:" "Jimmy." "JIMMY:" "What?" "GRETCHEN:" "Ifyoudon 'twant me to go on this trip, just tell me." "JIMMY:" "Don'tgo ." "GRETCHEN:" "Okay." "I won't." "So, just to be clear." "On one side, it's eggs, Peter" "Gabriel and you, and on the other side it's pancakes, Phil" "Collins and Ty?" "JIMMY:" "Youknow,I'vebeen  drinking all day and honestly" "I'm not even sure anymore." "SWEATSHIRTGIRL:" "Gretchen!" "I did it!" "GRETCHEN:" "Goodforyou ," "Sloppy Sweatshirt Girl." "Good for... you." "You want to get out of here?" "JIMMY:" "Immediately." "EDGAR:" "I just...thingshave been messed up, and I guess I thought if I could do a good job today, maybe I'd have the boost to get my shit back on track." "RINGLEADER:" "Yeah,well..." "Sorry, man." "EDGAR:" "It'snotyourfault." "RINGLEADER:" "Allright." "EDGAR:" "Mylist!" "I knew it!" "RINGLEADER:" "Okay,okay,okay." "Shit." "Okay, look." "Look, these guys rely on me to come up with awesome, cool, underground cultural shit to do every single week." "You know how much pressure that puts on me?" "I got shingles trying to find a new Ethiopian restaurant." "Please don't blow up my spot, man." "Please!" "Okay?" "I have trouble making friends." "EDGAR:" "Wow." "RINGLEADER:" "What?" "EDGAR:" "I 'mscrewedup  because I saw my friends die." "You're screwed up because... you're just a really lame dude." "Thanks for making me feel better." "RINGLEADER:" "Wait,your friends died?" "The ones from today?" "What happened?" "!" "Hey." "Yeah... yeah..." "LINDSAY:" "Thereyouare , honey." "I came to a decision about the toast points." "(screams)" "MOMMY:" "Isabelwasgetting fussy and I asked Paul to hold her for a second and she quieted right up." "PAUL:" "I 'ma natural." "MOMMY:" "Whataboutyou ?" "Gonna be ready for one of these guys soon?" "LINDSAY:" "Oh,my God!" "Aah !" "Captioned by" "MediaAccessGroupatWGBH  access.wgbh.org" "¶ If I could use you" "What kind of fun would it be" "¶ That we form?" "A laze, lazily" "Oh... ¶" "¶ When you touch down" "I don't want to reach you" "¶ When you luck out" "I don't want to treat you... ¶"