"[Drums:" "Rock Beat ]" "Like, wow." "Like, crap." "Last year I was a high school brat." "But now I'm here." "Hope I'm the one you pick to cheer!" "." " Fantastic!" " I'm sorry." "What?" "." "Oh, nothing." "Don't let me slowyou down." "It's just-- Well, you're a surprise." " How doyou mean?" "." " You have great spirit." "But just a tad more volume, ifyou would." " I apologize." " Continue." "Like, whoo." "Like, whee." "I'm at the university." "I'm psyched." "I'm here." "Hope I'm the one you choose to cheer." "Iyell realloudandmake the Stingers superproud!" "Brilliant!" "My dear, you are wonderful-- cheer genius personified." "A real individual." "I'm joking, you spaz!" " Pardon me?" "." " That was a cheer?" "." "That was the most boring, unoriginal, biggest piece of crap I've ever seen!" " You suck!" " [ Gasps ]" " [ Cackling ] - [ Whimpering ]" "[ Cackling Continues ] [ Screaming ]" "Mom, where are we?" "." "Where areyou, dear?" "." "You finally made it." "You're in college." "[ Chattering ]" "Oh, man!" "[Techno, Hip-hop ]" "$ C-Come on$ $ The biggame isjust about rockin'$$" "[ Chattering ]" "Hi." "Can you guys tell me how to get to Bancroft Hall?" "." "Hi." "Can you tell me how to get to" "Hi, girls." "Can you guys tell me how to get to Bancroft" "Excuse me!" "Hi." "It's where some ofthe cheerleaders are staying." "Um, I'm trying out for the team." "You girls don't cheer, doyou?" "." "First of all, it's women, not girls." "Oh." "Second, um, we do neo-modern ballet." "We don't wave pom-poms." "And third, we can't directyou to Bancroft Hall, because Nathaniel Bancroft was a slave owner and an imperialist!" "Okay." "Thanks." "Appreciate it." "You're not giving up already, areyou?" "." "Monica!" "[ Both Giggling ]" "First day of college, I'm already saving my roommate." "You did not have to save me." "I have been saving... your butt ever since cheerleader camp." "Have not!" "Really?" "." "I remember a time... a spotterwas out of position and one of our cheerleaders... was gonna do a face-plant." "Who was that cheerleader again?" "." "Okay." "Okay." "I get it." "[ Laughing ] I think the score is Monica, two." "Whittier, Zero." "And..." "Bancroft Hall is this way." "Did you know that Nathaniel Bancroft was a slave owner... and an imperialist?" "." "Our room has a ceiling fan." "[Man ] As wellas paint balloons, pantytrees, super-gluing faaculty doors, releasing lab animals... and most important, I'd like to remindyou... that ifyou m ust... uri nate, please..." "do it in a toilet." "Do not" " I repeat-- Do not urinate... on an original manuscript of The Canterbury Tales..." "located in the school library." "You writing this down?" "." "You'd think I wouldn't have to saythat." "The Nutcracker is a patriarchal ballet." "Okay?" "." "The only good thing in The Nutcracker are the rats, and they die." "[ Grunting ]" "Shakespeare." "Hamlet?" "[ Chuckles Sarcastically]" ""Euripidie--" Euri" " Eur" "Euripides." "Lastly, we hopeyou take advantage of the many extracurriculars... here at the university." "Although I must report we've had to cut faunding... to some ofathe more non-essential programs... on campus such as the martial arts club," " the bal let society..." " [ Gasps ] Wha-- and the entire musical theater department." "[ Man ] That's a worthwhile program!" "Fortunately, we haven't had to cut any money from our two prized programs-- the football team..." "That's right!" "[ Barking ]" " Yeah!" " and... your seven-time... defending collegiate champion Stinger cheerleading squad!" " Yea!" " Let's hearit faorourheroes!" "[ Cheering Continues ]" "[Students Chanting] Tina!" "Tina!" "Tina!" "Tina!" "Tina!" "Tina!" "Tina!" "Tina!" "Tina!" "Tina!" "Tina!" "Tina!" "Hey, everybody!" "I'm Tina Hammersmith!" "[ Excited Squeal ]" "Y'all ready to rock the body electric?" "." " Ahhh!" " Let's get this party started!" "Five, six, seven, eight!" "$$ [Techno Pop ]" "[ Girl] Whoo!" "[ Girl] Yeah!" "Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!" "You go, girl!" "[ Cheerleaders ] Two, three, faour" "Sti ngers in the house!" "We're on the attack!" " That's right!" " Got no extra fat!" "We don't eat Big Macs!" "It's gross!" " Step to us!" "You might get smacked!" " [ Tina ] Whacked!" "We got more game than the man they call Shaq!" "The moonwalk!" "The twist!" "The shake and bake!" "The what?" "." "We can do it all right here at State!" "Strap yourselfin soyour mind won't blow!" "Sit back, relax and enjoy the show!" "What's wrong with you people?" "." "Stop it!" "Yeah!" "Stingers!" "This is terrible." "What doyou mean "terrible"?" "." " They're perfect." " I know." "That's what's terrible." "They are perfect." "Speaking of perfect." "You ever checked out your own ass?" "." "Whoa!" "Gross!" "J ust pay him no mind." "No." "No." "I think we should pay him mind." "I mean, this-- this man has a lot to say." "I do." " I have a lot to say." " He's a unique individual." " Very unique individual." " With his own thoughts and ideas." "Myown thoughts." "Myown ideas." " Who would never make a fool ofhimself." " Never ever... make a fool of myself." "Even ifhe was blindly mimicking whatever I said." "Even if I was blindly-- [ Laughs ]" "Hey, punk." "Be watching' you." "Smart guy." "Thankyou." "No problem." "Belly ring?" "." "No belly ring?" "." "It's a cheerleading tryout." "They're going to be looking atyour moves, notyour bodyjewelry." "Oh, I know." "But here's mytheory:" "ifatheyconcentrate on mybelly, they won't recognize if I mess up on my back handsprings." "Whit, you're not gonna mess up." "I've seen your cheer skills." "They're for real." "Maybe for high school, but this is college." "And in college you have to be the poo." "Well, that shaggy boy at orientation sure thought you were the poo." "[ Giggles ] He was all on you like ugly on an Osbourne." "Him?" "." "You think?" "." "He did smile at me." "Mm-hmm." "But I can't lose my concentration." "I've really got to focus on tomorrow." "I got to work on my cheer moves." "Hit it, girl." "$$ [ Rock]" "[ Giggling ]" "Before we begin, I wantyou to know that just by trying out today," "you're already a winner." " [ Giggling ]" "Unless, of course, you get cut." "In which case, technically you're a loser." "[ Clears Throat ]" "[ Camera Whirs ] So, go for it." "Okay, I'll start with a simple aerial." "No," "I was thinking more ofa front handspring, back handspring, front handspring, back handspring, back handspring, faront handspring, back handspring" "Okay!" "Give me an "S-S." Give me a "T-R." Err!" "$$ [Man Rapping, Indistinct ]" "$$ [ Rapping Continues ]" "That was awesome." "So, do you got any good cheers?" "." " I got something forya." "I got a little shout out." " You got a what?" "." "I got to give a shout out to all my people, baby!" "Whoo!" "I'm flossin'!" "You can't see me." "I got the ice." "It's just blinding' ya!" "Peace, and I'm out!" "Back handspring, faront handspring, cartwheel, back handspring, cartwheel" "$$ [ Continues ]" "Give me an "S-S"." "Give me a "T-R"." "I just screwed up again!" "Dang it!" "I can't believe it!" "No!" "J ust kill me right now!" "Bam!" "Haha!" "Please?" "." "Front handspring, cartwheel, back handspring, back handspring, cartwheel-- Ooh." "Ohh, yeah!" "Oh, my God." "Thanks for coming." "[ Camera Whirs ]" "And lastly, Smith, comma, Whittier." " Okay." "So" " Wait." " What is it?" "." " That thing." "That shiny offensive thing-- midsection." " Oh, that's my belly ring." " Lose it immediately." " Okay." "Sorry." " [ Scoffs ]" "[ Ring Rattles, Rolls Across Floor]" "[Whittier] Okay." " Um." " [ Clattering]" " Okay." "Are you ready?" "." " How about, are you ready?" "." "I think so." "Here I go!" "Hit it!" "$$ [ Up-tempo Scratch Mix ]" "[ Panting ]" " How's that?" "." " Thankyou." "[ Woman ] Sheila." "[ Tina ] Too faat." "Kenny." "Too dorky." "Brenda." "[ Together ] Psycho!" "Cindy." "Snaggletooth." "Carol-Ann." "It's called lotion." "eczema." "Theo." "Too gay!" " Patrick?" "." " Not gay enough." "[ Chuckles ] And finally, Whittier." " She's okay." " Okay?" "." "Marni, she's future head cheerleader material." "Memo, pink ink, we already have our future head cheerleader." "Hi." "[ Chuckles ] The only difference being, she's cute." "Yeah, she's cute the way a smushed-up bug is cute." "Oh, andexcuse me." "Didyousee herblondhair?" " So fake!" " [Scoffss ]" "Well, ifthat's not the pot calling the kettle blond." "Ohh!" "I was-- I was born with dark roots." "Mm-hmm." "Well, anyway, I'd be all over her." " You know, if she had a schwinger." " Maybe she does." "[Tina ] Enough!" "You two bitches can catfight all night, but I'm the one that makes the decisions." "Until I do..." "you're dismissed." "Leave me." "Ow!" "[ Coughs ]" " No time for rest, cherub." " Dean Sebastian." "I didn't know you were here." "I've been here six hours." "Saw every last peppy pigtail that passed through this place." "Pretty ugly, huh?" "." "[ Chuckles ] Some were ugly." "Some were hideous." "While others were sublime." "I'm talking about State's next head cheerleader." "Smith, comma, Whittier." "Whittier can't be head cheerleader nextyear." "She's just a freshman." "She's just good is what she is." "But the head cheerleader spot is reserved for Marni." "Tina!" "The State cheerleading squad has won... seven consecutive national titles, which over that time has tripled alumni donations... andallowedme the lifae to which I am accustomed." "Just last year, I upgraded... from an '88 Jetta to a 2003 Passat." "Wow." "I'm not about to throw all that away... over some brown-nosing mediocrity named Marni." "Whittiermight have what it takes, but she's awfaullyraw." "That, dear, is why you must mold her." "Shape her." "Twist her like Silly Putty." "Ifyou make her half as great as you are, the national title will stay here foryears to come." "Remember the school motto-- Whatever it takes." "I can't hearyou." "[ Stamps Floor] Whatever it takes!" " Welcome to the team." " [ Whittier Squealing ]" "Welcome to the team." "[ Girls Squealing ]" "Welcome to the-- Oh, uh, this is size four." "Is that gonna be too small foryou?" "." "Kidding!" "Kidding!" "Get outta here." "Welcome to the team." "Wait!" "This isn't a uniform." "These are towels." "You're very perceptive, aren'tyou?" "." "But aren't I on the team?" "." "Of courseyou're on the team." "As a towel girl." "It's an honor." "How is it an honor?" "." "[ Incredulous Chuckle ]" "Say there is no towel girl." "Say Greg hoists Tina up into a cupie, and there is no one to towel offhis sweaty hands." "Tina slips." "Tina falls and-and lands on her spinal cord, and she spends the rest ofher life doing watercolors with her teeth." "Doyou want that to happen?" "." "I guess not." "Hmm." "I didn't think so." "[ Chattering ]" "Man, these colors are hype!" "I am never taking this off." "Even afteryou're dead in the ground?" "." "Totally." "[ Both Laughing ] [LockerDoorSlams ]" "Congratulations, my little pumpkins." "You have now joined the best ofthe best ofthe best." "Here's Marni with some light reading." "Now, study those rule books and wear those unifaorms with pride." "People have given their ankles," "Iigaments, collarbones... in service to those very uniforms you have on your taut little bodies." "'Cause farom here on out you must be the "bomb diggity. "" "You must eat leaner, train meaner, jump higher, yell louder and out-pep anyone who stands in your way." "You must brush better, floss better, lather, rinse and repeat better" "In otherwords, you must be better in every aspect ofyour life." "Are you ready for all that?" "." " Whittier?" "." " Uh." "Uh." "Uh" "$$ [Up-tempo Pop Rock]" "I'm gonna catch you guys later." "All right." "Is-- [ Clears Throat ]" " Is everything okay up there?" "." " Again." "Four, five, six, seven, eight." "Is everything okayup there?" "Hey, you're the orientation guy!" "Yeah, Orientation Guy is my given name." "But, um, it's not myreal name." "Myfariends call me Derek." "Well, hi, Derek." "I'm Whittier." "Whittier?" "." "I like it." " It's nice." " Thankyou." " You want to do something illegal?" "." " What?" "." "Do you want to do something illegal?" "." "[Man ]Shut up!" "Uhh." "Okay." "Really?" "What kindofagirlareyou?" "[ Laughs ] Stop!" "Whoa!" "[ Grunts ]" "No way." "No." "You're a cheerleader." "You get thrown three stories... in the air every day." "Tina would kill me if I sprained an ankle." "Who's Tina?" "." "Ourheadcheerleader." "She's got rules against this kind ofthing." "It's all in the manual." "Andyou've gotta faollowthe rules." "Well, do you see Tina anywhere around here?" "." "No." " [ Giggles ] - [Derek Groaning]" "[Whittier] Sorry." "Areyou okay?" "Are we allowed to be in here?" "." "2:00 a.m.'s the only good time to swim." "The rest of the time, I'm working." "Where?" "." "Well, I do work-study in the cafeteria." "Part-time in an audio store." "Full-time as a student." "And the rest ofthe time as a mix-master." "What's a mix-master?" "." "It's a turn-tablist." "What's a turn-tablist?" "." "It's a D.J." "I knew that." "[ Both Laughing ]" "Oh, hey." "I'm not intoyou like that." "I" "No, I didn't" " I" "[ Both Laughing ]" "Well, then I'm leaving." "I'm out." "Okay." "Fine." "Fine." "It's over." "Okay." "Well, okay-- [ Laughs ]" "Why doyou work so much?" "." "I work so much... because my dad wouldn't pay my tuition unless I declared premed." "And you didn't want to be a doctor, so-- So, I work." "Well, you know what they say about men who work too hard." "They become tired, boring... and in the process they lose all their spontaneity." "Derek, are you tired?" "." "No." "You're boring!" "[ Giggling ]" "You are boring." "Boring, my ass!" "[ Squeals ]" "Whoo!" "[ Laughs ]" "God, you look great underwater." "Well, did I tell you I'm a cheerleader?" "." "[ Laughs ] Yeah." "I thinkwe covered that." "Did we talk about your 1 0,000 part-time jobs?" "." "Yeah." "I think a while back." "Oh." "Well, was there anything else that we needed to cover?" "." "Well, there was... one thing I wanted to" "[ Whimpers ]" "I gotta go." "Wait, wait, wait." "Don'tyou want to stay and, you know, swim a little more?" "." "I think my roommate might be getting worried about me." "Whywould she be worried?" "." "Because, you're turning me into a criminal." "Whit" " Whittier, I could get hypothermia withoutyou here!" "[ Yells ]" "And five, six, seven, eight!" "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight!" "One!" "Girls, putyour hands on your hips." "SuZy, how about sucking' in the arm flab?" "." "Thankyou." "Claire, sweetie, two eyebrows are better than one." "Think I gaveyou the memo." "Oh, my God!" "Monica!" "Time for some damage control on that ass!" "For a minute there, I thought I was looking at a Hefty Bag full of chili dogs!" "Ha!" "Greg!" "How about the happy cheerfaace now, huh?" "This is my happy cheer face." "That's not a happy smile!" "That's a hate smile." "[ Whispers ] Is it that obvious, bitch?" "." "All right." "Pop-offson two." "One, two and... down." "[ Grunting ]" "[ Snickering ]" " $$ [Drums:" "Rock Beat] - [Tina ] Five, six, seven, eight!" "One, two, three, faour, faive, six, seven, again!" "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, again!" "One, two, three, four-- You suck so much, I can't stand you!" "Again!" "Go!" "Faster, faaster, faaster, faaster, faaster!" "Come on,you Sasquatch!" "Let's go!" "Come on, Monica!" "Show me a herkie!" "Let's see it!" "Let's see it!" "What is that?" "Push." "Push!" "[ Grunting ]" "[ Straining ] This weight is a car, and it is pressed on top ofyour mother!" "Lift it offyour mom!" "[ Screaming ] Lift it offher!" "Lift it offher!" "Too late." "She's dead." "[ Whimpers ]" "[Tina ] What is this, a bowl ofaJell-O I'm looking at?" "Whit, that water is not from the French Alps!" "Down for 1 0-- And six and seven and eight!" "[ Grunting ] [ Cries Out ]" "You guys are looking so great today." "[ Chuckles ]" "I'm just kidding." "You look like crap." "All right, Monica and Whittier, get ready for a pop-off on four." "Hey, you wanna do a cradle offthe back?" "." "You want to?" "." "Yeah." "Ready?" "." "One, two, three, four." " [ Giggling ]" " What the hell was that?" "." "I asked for a simple pop-off!" "." "Was that a simple pop-off?" "." "I'm very curious to know, Monica." "Was that orwas that not a pop-offs?" "Settle down, Tina." "We were giving the routine a little flavor, a little individuality." "A I ittle flavor?" "." "A I ittle i ndividual ity?" "." "[ Laughs ] Missy, you are no longer an individual." "All right?" "." "You are a very small, little minute part... ofa very big-ass machine!" "And that machine has my name on it." "You got it?" "." " We're sorry." " Not good enough, Whittier." "Meet me in my office-- 0800." "Is that the address?" "." "She's waiting foryou." "Come on, this way." "Tina, I'm really sorry about what happened in practice." "Shut the door." "Did you know that, um," " George W. Bush was a cheerleader in college?" "." " Actually, I did." "Ronald Reagan was also a cheerleader." "So was Dwight D. Eisenhower." "The three greatest presidents ofthe last 200 years-  all cheerleaders." " Was Ronald Reagan really one ofthe top three?" "." "Top 40." "My point is this." "From great cheerleaders come even greater leaders." "You maybe a great cheerleader, Whittier, butyou are not a great leader." "I know, and I'm really trying hard." "See these portraits on the wall?" "." "A 98-year tradition of cheerleading excellence at CSC." "Starting backwith the remarkable Margaret Whiting in 1 938." "What's she doing?" "." "An arabesque." "You can't tell underthe hoopskirt." "All the way up to the fantastic Hammersmith dynasty oftoday." "These are your sisters?" "." "Yep." "They're all part of a grand legacy with no end in sight." "That last empty frame right there is reserved... faorthe headcheerleader who will take ourplace-- our next leader." "Marni." "It could be Marni." "[ Chuckles ]" "Or it could be Greg." "Whoo." "Or as I've been thinking lately," " it could be you." " Yeah, right." " I'm serious, Whittier." " But I completely messed up in practice." "I thoughtyou called me in here to kick me offthe team." "Oh, I haven't totally ruled that outyet." "I don't know." "Ijust expect more out ofayou than the others." "Certainly more than your friend, Monica." "Monica was just messing around." "Wait till game day." "She'll be perfect." "Oh, really?" "." "She's gonna be great on game day?" "." "Monica is a sinking ship!" "To be a great cheerleader you have to make sacrifaices." "And I suggest you start with her." "Do you mean not being friends with her?" "." "'Cause we're roommates." "Listen, sweetie." "Being head cheerleader... is a privilege you should very much want." "I mean, [ Chuckles ] students have posters of me on theirwalls." "They pay hundreds of dollars-- 320 to be exact-- just to get my number." "They raffle offthe right to carry my books to class." "[ Laughs ]" "[ Chuckling ] It's so silly." "Foreign exchange students literally... beg to do my homework-- straight A's." "All this could beyours." "You could be the greatest thing on this campus-- the next me." "[ Chuckles ]" " Whoa." " But I don't know." "It's all a question ofhow bad you reallywant it." "I mean, for starters, you're gonna have to shine at the home opener this weekend." "Literally millions will be watching you." "But most importantly, I will be watching you." "I'm tired now." "Handing out all those towels has made my arms feel like soggyJell-O." "I'm too tired to point out how dumb that sounds." "Hey, guys." "[ Gasps ]" "Hey, Britney spaz." "[ Giggles ] Why areyou so happy?" "." "Didn't Tina just ripyou a new" " I can't saywhat." "Actually-- and, ladies, please keep this a secret," "Tina told me that ifl work really hard... and I play my cards right," "I could become head cheerleader." " Congratulations, Whittier!" " Yeah, that's great!" "You're not bummed areyou?" "." "No." "I don't want to be head cheerleader." "I'm just flossin' my moves until I make it as a dancer on J.Lo's next tour." "I've been meaning to talk toyou about that." "What?" "." "Tina made a lot ofsense in practice the other day." "There is a big difference between individual dance moves and" " Oh, my gosh!" "What?" "." "There's over 680 calories in that." "Not to mention 35 grams of saturated fat." "That must've been a real special talkyou had with Tina back there." "Too bad yourJedi mind tricks couldn't fend offthe dark side ofthe force." "Monica, ifyou want to be the bomb diggity, you have got to act like the bomb diggity, and Tina is the bomb diggity!" "Did she just say, "bomb diggity" three times in one sentence?" "." "[Crowd Cheering]" "[P.A. Announcer] Yourhalftime score is Stingers, 1 7." "Willowcrest, nine." "[ Monica ] No, I'm serious." "We're the ones with all the pressure." "Pressure?" "." "No, gi rly, you don't know what real pressure is!" "You see, I got to go out there first.J ust me." "Solo." "And if these 50,000 people don't buy into the whole illusion... ofwho I am and what I represent, you guys are toast!" "Aren'tyou just a big bug?" "." "Correction!" "I am a hunting wasp... ofthe order hymenoptera, with a deadlyvenomous ovipositor!" "Doyou know what that is?" "." "Well, I'll tell ya!" "It's a deadly stinger, bitch!" "Bug!" "Stay in the Zone, Sammy." "You stay in the Zone." "Chest out!" "Ponytail, no." "Up-do, yes." "Sweetie, no double earrings." "You're a State cheerleader, not a State hooker." "$$ [ Mimicking Beatbox ]" "$ Go, go, go, Stingers $ $$ [ Beatbox ]" "$ Go-go, go-go-go Uh-oh, the Stingers $" "Remember, Whit." "Head cheerleader." "What do you mean "head cheerleader"?" "." "I'm the next head cheerleader." "I am!" "Focus on the performance." "I am not gonna focus on the performance!" "Focus!" "No, I'm not gonna focus!" "I won't!" "I don't mean that." "Please don't hate me!" "Tina, please don't hate me!" "Hey, I don't hateyou, Marni." "Shut up!" "$$ [ Beatbox ]" "$ Sammy $ $$ [ Beatbox ]" "$ Here comes Sammy $ [P.A. Announcer] Ladies andgentlemen, we askyou to turnyourattention to the multi-champion..." "Show time." "Stinger cheerleaders and their "Stingtacular"halftime show!" "Yeah!" "Come on!" "Let's go!" "Let's get it on, Stingers!" "Number one!" "Number one!" "Yeah!" "[P.A. Announcer] Ladies and gentlemen, sayhello to SammyStinger... andyourStinger cheerleaders!" "Let's go, Stingers!" "Whoa!" "[ Man ] Hit it!" "$$ [ Techno Pop ]" "$ Turn the beat back Come on, turn the beat back $" "$ Turn the beat back $" "$ Come on Turn the beat back $" "$ Come on, turn the beat back Turn the beat back $" "$ Come on, turn the beat back Come on, turn the beat back Turn the beat back $" "$ Free, faree Free-faree-faree $$" "Let's go, Sti ngers!" "[ Crowd Cheering ]" " [ Al I ] Sti ngers!" " [ Cheeri ng ]" "Let's go, Sti ngers!" " Let's go, Stingers!" " [ All ] Ohh!" "Ho-ho!" "Go back!" "Go back!" "Let's see it again!" "Go, Stingers!" " [ Laughing ]" " One more time." "One more time." "Tina, she's here." "Hey, baby." "[ Crowd] Wayto go, Whittier!" "[Man Shouting] Hey, Whittier!" "Hi." "Whittier, right?" "." "Jackson." "Senior, with the Boxster out front?" "." "I was wondering if-- We just saw the video, and we were like," ""That is the shizzle," and we-- Okay, okay, okay." "You two, hands off." "This is my party, my cheerleader." "So, great facial on TV today." "Sticking your tongue out on camera, totally inspired." "You think?" "." "O.M.G, it was T.D.F., FY!" "." "Whittier, this is Todd." "Starting wide receiver, 6'1 ", 3.2 G.P.A., runs a 4.6 forty." "4.5 forty." "[ Both Laughing ]" "Howya doin'?" "." "Uh, good." "[ Gasps ]" "And it just doesn't happen." "He said he was a good listener." "Hi, Marni." "Would you like an appetizer?" "." "But he wasn't a good listener." "[ Mouth Full, Indistinct ] Here." "How about a towel?" "." "[ Continues, Indistinct ]" "[ Grunts ] I'm sorry!" "Sorry." "Would you like an appetizer?" "." "This is whyl go to the trouble ofahosting all these parties." "So guys like you can mingle with girls like you." "So mingle." "Blaine!" "Eh, really nice touchdown catch today." "Homeboy didn't want to play the rest ofthe game." "Got taken off on a stretcher." "The quarterback's all staring at me." "I'm like, "Oh, boy, I'm gonna hityou so hard, your mama's gonna feel it!" Right?" "." "We broke farom the huddle-- Hi, Whittier." "Would you like an appetizer?" "." "I'm okay." "Thankyou." "How about a towel?" "." "Then they motioned into a slot." "That's when I knew the running back... was gonna do an up-and-under pattern behind the linebacker." "And he's-- You know, that's..." "great, really." "Doyou mind iffor the next minute... we talk about something other than football?" "." "Uh, I'm sorry." "It's my bad." "I'm sorry." "Thanks." "So, Tina, um, tells me you're a "C" cup." "[People Chattering]" "Oh, dude, check out the brunette." "Sweet!" "Yeah, she's hot." "She was not gonna be head cheerleader." "And" "Whoa, whoa, whoa." "Check out the blond right over there." "Where?" "." "Where?" "." "The dude right over there." "What do you mean, "dude"?" "." "Hey, you know what?" "." "The one with the great legs!" "I bet he could leg-press a mule." "Oh, man!" "What?" "." "Oh, you-- You didn't know?" "." "Listen." "I got nothin' against your kind of people." "It's just football rules." "I gotta kickyour ass now." "That sounds like a party." "You should know, though, I bench-press 220." "Whatever, dude." "235." "Can we talk?" "." "Now?" "." "Thankyou." "Pardon us." "Yo!" "Dewey!" "Okay, let's blow this joint." "Mon, Mon, Mon." "Don't goyet." "Whit!" "We cheered on national television." "This is our coming-out party." "Blue!" "Hey, excuse me." "Uh, I'm looking for a girl named Whittier." "She's aboutyea tall." "She's blond, super-cute." "Well," "Iookwho it is, smart guy." "Why don'tyou say something smart, smart guy?" "." "Yeah, okay." "How about something foreign and exotic like adios." "Hey, don't." "Chill, bigguy!" "[ Scoffs ] God!" "Besides, there are some good people here too, and they're here to celebrate us!" "Yeah, theywant to celebrate all over us." "[ Gasps ] Derek!" "Hey, Monica." "Hi, hottie." "I didn't think you were gonna make it." "Yeah." "How'd you get past the goon squad?" "." "Guile, cunning, cowardice." "[ Chuckles, Coos ]" "You, scruffy boy." "Out." "This party is exclusivo." "No, it's okay." " He's with me." "We're together." " Who's he?" "." "This is Derek." "He's a D.J." "[ Laughs ]" "There are, like, 1 0,000 hot varsity football players inside, and you're snuggling up to a D.J.?" "." " How edgy." " What's wrong with a D.J.?" "Honey, oh." "There's a logical order to the college universe, and the sooner you learn it, the better." "See, way up here at the top of the ladder are football players." "Right." "They rule." "Just underneath them... are basketball players-- smaller biceps but still desirable." "Then, soccer hunks, lacrosse studs, fraternity presidents-- ohh-- fraternity keg-masters, guys with cars with parking passes, guys with cars without parking passes-- kind of a waste oftime-- [Man ] Loveyour dress, Tina!" "Black Student Union activists" " Hey!" " Bruce Lee fan clubbers," "Iit-mag squares, pep-band dorks, um, film society toads, campus ministers, school mascots... and then, God, all the way at the bottom... are campus D.J.'s." "One spot above cafeteria workers." "Actually," "I work at the cafeteria too." "Oh, do you?" "." "Tsk." "That's hopeless." "Listen, Whit." "Remember ourlittle "discush" the other day?" "You have to decide, are you with us... or are you with him?" "I'm sorry." "Derek, I" "Oh, I get it." "Yeah." " Oops." " But..." "I'll callyou!" "I can't believe you just did that!" "Oh, she did the right thing." "She stuckwith the winners." "Excuse me?" "." "You think you're a winner because you got a bunch ofidiots... upyour bomb diggity butt?" "." "Excuse me?" "." "Whittier!" " Areyou coming?" "." " Yeah." "[ Tina ] What areyou looking at?" "." "[Woman ] What's herproblem?" "[Man ] Drama queen." "So Doc says ifal sprain myhip-flexor one more time, I can kiss my herkie good-bye." "Hey, you guys." "Hey." " Greg, can you hel p me stretch my hamstrings?" "." " Yeah." "[ Snapping Fingers ]" " Look, about the party" " On your feet." "Practice has started." "Todaywe're gonna work on manners and respect." "Because some ofyou don't know how to behave at a team function." "Some ofyou don't show proper manners to a head cheerleader." "Some ofyou don't show respect to the concept ofteam unity." "Come on." "Oh, good!" "Monica." "We'll start with you." "[Woman ] Here we go." "What do you got?" "." "Front handspring round-off, back handspring toe touch." "$$ [Synthesized Pop ]" "Stop the music!" "$$ [ Stops ]" "Is that all you got?" "." " And again!" " $$ [Resumes ]" "Round-offback handspring, back tuck." " Music stop!" " $$ [Stops ]" "And again!" "Herkie!" "Herkie!" "Herkie!" "Herkie!" "Herkie!" "Herkie!" "Herkie!" "Herkie!" "Herkie!" "Herkie!" "Herkie!" " [ Monica Groans ]" " Herkie!" "Herkie!" "Herkie!" "No one touch her!" "$$ [Stops ]" "I'm not done yet, Monica!" "To be a real cheerleader" " Tina, give it a rest." " Not now, Greg!" "I said give it a rest!" "[ Exhales ] Okay." "All right." "[ Sighs ] You're right." "I should" " I should-- I should give it a rest." " Whittier, call out the steps." " What, me?" "." "You heard me." "That's what leaders do." " But Monica" " Call out the steps." " Call them out!" " No!" "Listen, freshman." "I put you in that uniform, and I can takeyou right out ofit!" "Call the steps, oryou're offthe team." "Then I'm offthe team." "Wh-What?" "." " [ Nervous Giggle]" " You heard me." "I quit!" "I quit too." "That's right." "I quit too." "Greg, you'll lose your cheerleading scholarship." "That's right!" "I'm stayin' here, but undera cloudofashame." "Tina." "You can have this back because it's supposed to show team spirit." "It's supposed to make us feel proud, but I just feel guilty and stupid!" "Soyou can haveyour skirt and your spankies and your top." "I'm out ofhere!" "I need this to get home." "I'll bring it back when it's dry-cleaned." " [ Mouths Words ]" " Bye, Miss Bomb Diggity." "[ Huffs ] She'll be back." " She's not coming back!" " [ Sighs ]" "It's onlyWhittier." " Ice cream-- Super Fudge Chunk." " No!" "Ice cream!" "All right!" "Stupid." "[Spectators Yelling, Cheering]" "Hey." "Hey." "[Woman ] Run!" "Run!" "All right, take home!" "Take home!" "[ Groans ]" " Our team sucks!" " Whittier, quit worrying about the game... and enjoy the sunshine." " The sun sucks." " Whittier, don't you know that the sun... is nature's prozac?" "." "Doyou really think the sun is gonna make me feel better... about giving up the most important thing in my life?" "." "No, but I'm out of real prozac, soyou're gonna have to deal." "I ruined my career as a cheerleader." "I ruined my relationship with Derek." "I could've had a boyfriend." "I ruined my entire life!" "Yeah, I feel better." " Anyone want to hit the library?" "." " Ooh, I'll go with." "This place is starting to weird me out anyway." "Women's softball-- I just don't get it." "[ Chuckles ] Whittier" " It'll be okay." " I know." "Thankyou." "You'll be fine, girl!" " Trust me." " [Woman ] Come on." "Let's go, Stingers." "[Yelling, Cheering]" " [ Grunts ] -[Woman ] Nicejob." "Nice wayto take the base." "[ Woman ] Batter up!" "[ Rhythmic Hissing]" "[ Bell Tolling In Distance ]" "Come on, y'all." "Let's hear it." "We got Stinger spirit." "Come on, y'all." "Let's hear it." "We got Stinger spirit." "Come on, y'all." "Let's hear it!" "We got Stinger spirit." "Come on, y'all." "Let's hear it." "We got Stinger spirit." "Come on,y'all." "Let's hearit." " We got Stingerspirit." " [Subdued Cheering]" "Come on, y'all." "Let's hear it." "We got Stinger spirit." "Come on, y'all." "Let's hear it!" "We got Stinger spirit!" "Come on, y'all." "Let's hear it!" " What's going on?" "." " We got Stinger spirit!" " [Clapping]" " Come on, y'all." "Let's hear it." "We got Stinger spirit." "Come on, y'all." "Let's hear it!" "[ All ] We got Stinger spirit!" "Come on,y'all." "Let's hearit." "We got Stinger spirit!" "Come on, y'all." "Let's hear it." "We got Stinger spirit." "Come on, y'all." "Let's hear it." "We got Stingerspirit!" "[ Cheering]" "[Woman ] Yeah." " [ Whistle Blows ]" " Yes!" " Number one!" "Number one!" " [All Cheering]" "Let's go, Stingers!" "Let's go!" "[ Cheering Continues ]" "Those are my girls!" "Go, Stingers!" "[Man ] Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Monica!" "Monica!" "I got it!" "You got" "You got what?" "." "We're gonna start our own squad." "Oh, shut up." "No, no." "I'm serious." "Our own squad." "New and improved." "Shut up!" "No." "For real!" "Come on!" "Let's go!" "Areyousureyouput the audition time on the flyer?" "Yes." "Okay, because it was an hour and a half ago." "I put the time on there." "Okay." "Well, what color paper didyou use?" "I al ready told you." "Lemon yellow." "You should have used wild berrypink." "Wild berry pink always gets people to show up." "Why are you all up in my grille?" "." "Do you see me asking what color markers you used for the big signs?" "." "Black and gold." "With glitter?" "." "No." "Whit, what is a sign without glitter?" "." " That is why nobody showed up!" " [Distant Chattering]" "Shh." "Shh." "[ Chattering Continues ] Do you hear that?" "." "Someone's coming." "You ladies ready for my dope?" "." "I don't know what that was." "Our new-and-improved squad lasted exactly 97 minutes." "Don't give upyet." "I mean, maybe we'll find some talent." "Where?" "." "All the cheerleaders on campus are already cheerleaders." "Then I don't know." "It's not like we're gonna run into a group of people... just spontaneously shouting out... cheers." "[People Shouting Cheers ]" "[ Cheering Continues ] Yes!" "[Man ] What do we want?" "[ Crowd] Justice!" "When do we want it?" "." "[ All ] Now!" "[ Man ] And how will we get it?" "By standing outside the dean's office-- [ Voices Overlapping ]" "Sorry, what?" "." "I have no idea what you just said." "Who in the hell are these people?" "." "It's the extracurricular groups-- the ones that lost their practice space when the dean took away their funding." "Justice!" "Man, they got jacked." "And how will we get it?" "." "By standing outside the dean's office-- [ Voices Overlapping ]" "You guys suck." "First ofaall, I want to thankyou guys all faor coming here todayto this" "What's the word I'm looking faor?" "Hi." "Shit-hole?" "." "Thanks." "It's the only place that we could find to meet." "So, anyway-  [ I nsect buzzing ]" " Today we're starting a new cheerleading club on campus." "Why cheerleading, you say?" "." "Because cheerleading is fun." "Andit faosters schoolspirit." "And it also keeps you..." "physically fit." "So, what do you guys say?" "." "Are you ready to cheer?" "." "Yeah!" "Yes?" "." "Most of my pieces involve anguish... as a theme." "Do you have any cheers about anguish?" "." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Well, we have one that goes like this." "Ready?" "." "Okay!" "[ Both ] That's all right!" "That's okay!" "So that one kind of addresses the issue of anguish... kind of." "But otherthan that, not really." "[ Clears Throat ] What about soliloquies?" "." " Well, we don't really have" " And what about accents?" "." "Because I am the master... ofaaccents." "No." "See, what we do is cheerleading." " Then I'm out." " Me too." "No, no, no." "Hold on because" "Hold on faor one second." "Wait, you guys." "Something Whittier faorgot-- Hey." "Wait." "Something Whittier forgot to tell you all is... ifawe're good, we can go to nationals." "Now, ifawe go to nationals, we could win." "Ifwe win, we get a check for $20,000." "Now, Penelope, you could use that money... to rent rehearsal space." "And, Francis, you could mount up a production of Godspell where everyone has a French accent." "I nteresting." "Plus, we're gonna be a real squad too." "On oursquad,you're gonna be able to do whateveryou want-- doyour own thing." "And ifawe're good, we can stamp out the varsity cheerleading squad once and faor all." " Where do we si gn up?" "." " Right over there." "Oh, yeah." "I 've been saving you since cheerleader camp." "You did not have to save me." "I think the score is now Whittier, Zero." "Monica, three." "Thanks." "[ Giggling ] Come on, silly." "This is so "ridic." Do they actually think they're a real cheer squad now?" "." "They're real cheerleaders in the same way that Joan Rivers has a real face." "We have to crush them." "We have to take their heads and grind them into the mud... and then stomp on their backs and then drive over them with a Jeep Cherokee S.U.V." "Marni, geez." "Take a pill ofthe chill variety, okay?" "." "[ Scoffs ] We don't need to do anything." "We cannot have a competing spirit squad on campus, Tina." "Trust me, theywon't be a threat to us." "They're nothing but a support group for rejects and losers." "Besides-- [ Chuckles ]" "How 'bout that practice space?" "." "[ Both Chuckling ] [ Gagging ]" "Andright, left, clap." "Right, clap." "Left, clap." "Come on, you guys." "Step left." "Step right." "A little bit tighter, Penelope." "Little bit tighter." "Stand back, woman." "I need at least a three to five-foot radius-- Oh, my" "$$ [ Rock] $When I rock like this rock like this $" "$ When I rock like this When I rock like this it's rhythm $" " Roll." "Roll." " $ Rock like this Rock like this $" "$ When I rock like this When I rock like this it's rhythm $" "Fol low me." "Good." "Now try three claps into a high "V."" " [ Groans ] - [ Al I Gaspi ng ]" " Okay, guys." "And five, six, seven, eight." " [ Whimpering ]" "Grab one, two" " Down-- Three, four" " Up-- Five, six." "Good." "[Whittier] Okay, stand up now." "Good." "[Monica ] Stand up." "Yeah." "Can you guys just turn around?" "." "Yeah." "Face us." "[ Whittier] Holdyourstomach." "Squeeze your butt." " Don't look down." "No, no, no." " Good." "Good." "Great." "[ Groaning ] Catch me!" "[ Crash ]" "Okay." "This is a basic pyramid." "Matthew, you'll take the wing position here." "Yeah." " Got it." " Penelope,you're gonna swing around here... and start your stunt there, okay?" "." "I can't be an "O."" "You can't be an "O"?" "O's represent emptiness." "And bymaking me an "O, " you're calling me empty." "That's insane." "Okay?" "." "Uh, O's don't represent emptiness." "They represent hugs." "And X's are kisses." "Everyone knows that." "[ Scoffs ]" "[Whittier] Up." "Up." "Lockyourlegs." "Good." "Yes!" "Tighter." "$ When I rock like this $" "$$ [ Continues ]" "Double base extension." "Ready?" "Five, six, seven, eight." "[ Both ] One, two and three, four." "Up." "Goodjob." "Bring in the legs." "[ Monica ] Okay." "You got it." "Don't look down." "Don't look down." "No, no, no, no." "Hey." "You know, I think I -- [ Groans ]" "$ Rock like this Rock like this Rock like this $" "$ When I rock like this rock like this When I rock like this $" "$ Rock like this When I rock like this rock like this $" "$ Rock like this Rock like this Rock, rock, rock, rock$" "$ R-R-R-R-R-R-Rock $$" "$$ [Rock ]" "[ Knocking ]" "What's up, girl?" "." "So what's going on?" "." "What?" "." "I said, "What's going--"" "Sorry." "$ Sometimes $ What?" "." "$ I wake up early to saygood-bye $ What's going on?" "." "Oh, not much." "How 'bout you?" "." "Well, we have this new cheerleading squad." "Yeah." "So I heard." "And we're improving." "We're just missing something." "We don't have any rhythm." "You know, no backbeat to help us bring it all together." "But ifwe had a great D.J" "$$[Continues ]" "Look, I got three jobs, this radio gig, two advanced lit classes" "I know it would mean a lot to Whittier." "$$ [ Continues ]" "Look, she feels really bad about what happened." " She's looking for a way to reconnect with you." " $$ [Ending]" "Hold on." "I gotta intro this next tune." "That, my friends, was the bitchin' sound ofthe Promise Ring." "This next track is dedicated to all the guys out there whose hearts have been ripped out... and devoured for breakfast by cute, peppy, social-climbing blond girls." "Give me a "Hey." Give me a "Ho." Give me a "I don't know you anymore."" "I know it sucks." "$$ [Rock]" "What was your question?" "." "Forget it." "$$ [Man Singing, Indistinct]" "$$ [ Continues ]" "Dear Lord, help us kick almighty ass today in our debut as a spirit squad." "Hel p us to perform the double back handspri ng i nto a back tuck as majestically... as your only son Jesus would." "This is a big sporting event for us." "Guide us in leading this team to victory." "Bring it in." " One, two, three!" " [ All ] Renegades!" "Come on." "Croquet." "[ Cheering, Clapping ]" "[Francis ] Croquet!" "Yes!" "Come on!" "Croquet!" "Let's go!" "Let's go, croquet!" "That's right!" " [ Cheering Continues ] - [ Man ] Yeah." "Come on, cricket!" "Ready?" "." "Okay!" "Okay!" "[ Al I ] That's all right." "I t's croquet." "We're gonna-  [ Voices Overlapping]" " Come on!" "Come on!" "Yeah!" "Let's go!" "Yeah!" "Croquet!" "Number one!" "[Whittier] Let's go, croquet!" "Let's go!" "That's right, croquet!" "Let's go!" "[Man ] Whoo!" "Yeah!" "Let's do it." "All right." "[ Whittier] Let's go, croquet!" "Let's go!" "[ All Cheering ]" " [ Cheering Continues ] - [ Man ] Hit that ball!" "Hit that ball!" "T ake that ball and hit it." "What I say?" "." "Now whack it." "Yeah, now that's the ticket." "Yeah, that's the ticket." "[ Voices Overlapping ] Croquet!" "Come on!" "Is, uh, all this noise bothering you, pal?" "." "The noise I can take." "It's the suckiness that bothers me." "[ Sighs ]" "$$ [Rock]" "[VehicleApproaching]" "$$ [ Continues ]" "$ Hit it$" "$$ [ Continues ] $ Hit, hit $" "Let's hit it!" "[Whittier  Monica ] Five, six, seven, eight." "$ Tell me what we need Stinger pride Stinger pride $" "$ Tell me what we breathe Stinger pride Stinger pride $" "$Tell me what we bleed Stinger pride Stinger pride $" "$ Tellme what we need Stingerpride Stingerpride$" "$Tell me what we breathe Stinger pride Stinger pride $" "$Tell me what you see Stinger pride Stinger pride $" "$Tell me what we need Stinger pride Stinger pride $" "Hell, yeah!" "$Stinger pride Stinger pride $" "[Cheering]" "[ All Cheering ]" "[Cheering Continues ]" "$$ [ Continues ]" "$$ [ Continues ]" "Cola beverage-- diet." "Wipe the spittle." "They look foolish." "I mean, really." "What do they have?" "." "They have enthusiasm." "So do we!" "And they have the love ofthe crowd." "Do we?" "." "Don't even think that thought." "I'm just saying." "And I'm just saying... a person goes against his team, and he could lose his cheerleading scholarship." "Let's go." "We've got work to do." "[Tina ] Now, Greg!" "[Bell Tolling]" "That herkie into a cupie just befaore we spread the rubber with it" "That was almost as moving as the helicopter landing in Miss Saigon." "Yeah." "I " " I know." "For a moment there, at the end, Yeah!" "when we won, I experienced an emotion... that I can only describe as moderate happiness." "How did you know where we were gonna be?" "." "You told him?" "." "Whittier, Zero." "Monica, four." " Thanks." " Your, uh, squad... is gonna have a real tough time winning nationals... when, technically speaking, you don't exist." "[ Scoffs ] Look around." "I'd saywe exist." "Who areyou?" "." "Shh-- It's called a razor, scruffy boy." "You don't exist according to a little thing called Section Eight... ofathe National Collegiate Cheer Association Bylaws." "Yeah." "It states that, um, each university... shall be represented by one-- and only one" "O" " N" " E-- cheer squad." " You can't do this to us." " So make like a T om and cruise." "This is modern-day imperialism." "Boo freaking hoo." "Uh, you missed something, sweetie." "It does saythat onlyone team farom State can go to nationals." "Sí." "But it doesn't say which team." "That team could be us." "[ Huffs ]" "Even if all that is true, it doesn't matter." " Mm-hmm." " Varsity has been going to nationals forever." "That is not gonna change." "It just might." "Looks like we're at an impasse." "So how 'boutyou and I just figure this out right now." "Where did you get that?" "." "That does not belong toyou." "Ladies, we are not going to settle things this way." "There's only one honest, impartial person on this campus who can judge who's right." "[ Mimicking In Fast, MousyVoice ]" "And while I admireyour spunk, Miss Smith, this is a school built on tradition." " But" " And in this case tradition favors Miss Hammersmith." "I must say, Whittier, there's a lot of good, honest wisdom behind what the dean has to say." " Thankyou." " You're welcome." "Sure." "But what about the rules?" "." "Nowhere in the bylaws does it say... that it has to be the varsity team that goes to nationals." " Why can't it be us?" "." " Well, sure." "Legally, technically-- ifyou... squint your eyes just right-- the rules say it could beyou." "But we're talking about seven consecutiveyears of cheerleading excellence here." "I'm not gonna put an end to that." "Miss Hammersmith will go to nationals." "With alldue respect, Dean Sebastian," "I don't think that's a decision that will go over well with the student body." " How do you mean?" "." " I mean, ifyou suppress our voices on campus, you will be hearing from us in letters to the board of trustees-- not to mention the around-the-clock protestors that will be outside your door." "Okay, okay, okay." "We get it." "What the hell do you want?" "A com petition i n front of the whole student body." "Let them decide who's better, your team or mine." " Girl on girl." " Hmm." "Winnergoes to nationals." "[ Clears Throat ] Listen, Whit." "We're good friends, right?" "." "And as a good friend, I should caution you that such a competition... couldembarrassyouseverely." "It could destroyyour already-fragile psyche." "Well, that's a risk I'm willing to take, Tina." "[ Groans ] She can't do this, can she?" "." "Actually, Miss Hammersmith, I think it's a splendid idea." " We'll have a competition." " What?" "." " Thankyou." " We'll have a competition in the field house... this coming Saturday." "What?" "Wait." "That's the day after tomorrow." "[ Giggling ]" " Ifyou'll excuse me, ladies, I have a lunch date." " We can't be ready by then." " [Tina ] We'llbe ready." " Yes, you will." "This can't be happening." "Oh, yes, it can." "You're the one who asked for the competition." "Good day." "Ready to back outyet?" "." "Are you kidding me?" "." "After the wayyou treated us?" "." "You know I used to look up to you?" "." "But that was before I found out who you are." "An insecure "tanorexic."" "Listen to me, you hobbit." "After this idiotic competition is over, you'll be praying you were me." "You'll be finished as a cheerleader and finished here." "I will knockyou so far down you'll be in the cafeteria... with your edgy, freak of a boyfriend, putting grapes in theJell-O molds." "Oh, yeah?" "." "Mm-hmm." "Don't be all up in my Kool-Aid." "What does that mean?" "." "$$[Instrumental]" "The Stingers hoops team won their first exhibition contest 72-54." "And the women's softball squad dropped both games... of a doubleheader against State AM." "And now it's time for the CSC News Eye On Sports." "On location is beat reporter Colleen Lipman." "Thanks, Colleen." "The campus is in a frenzy this week, thanks to the big cheerleading showdown in the field house this Saturday." "Go, go, go, go." "Come on, you sissy!" "[ Colleen ] The varsity cheerteam has been vigorously training faor the event." "I 'm totally not tired." "Why are y'all so tired?" "." "And State cheerleading legend, Tina Hammersmith, is confaident about her team's chances." "This is nothing new to us." "We've defeated some of the best... intercollegiate competition ever assembled." "This amateur squad is just a speed bump... on the way to nationals." "Excusez-moi." "One sec." "Let's go!" "I didn't say stop." "[ Colleen ] Howimportant is victory on Saturday?" "Oh." "It's very important." "It's very important." "It" " It's very important." "This is very, very" "I" " I cannot tell you how important this is." "It's a" " It's pretty-- pretty important." "Meanwhile, some people around campus... are starting to dub the upstart competition as... the Renegades." "Head cheerleader, Whittier Smith, insists her squad is ready to go." "We are definitely going to win." "We've got a great team, we've worked extremely hard and it's gonna be tough, but, you know, Rocky beat Apollo Creed, right?" "." "[Man ] Uh, Whit, he lost." "He what?" "." "He lost." "He lost to Apollo Creed?" "." "[ Colleen ] To train faorthe event, the Renegades have taken an unusual approach, cheering faor typically under-appreciated teams such as the diving team, the bowling club and the faencing squad." "[ Al I ] Stab hi m." "Stab hi m." "Poke hi m i n the eye." "Run the sword through ti I I his blood runs dry." "En garde!" "Well, some people look at an impossible situation and ask why." "Others look at the same situation and ask, why not?" "." "For the competition on Saturday," "I'm asking myselfwhy." "Why bother?" "." "In a billion years we'll all be obliterated by a black hole anyway." "Thereyou have it, Colleen." "Back toyou." "Thanks, Colleen." "Seven, eight." "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight." "One, two, three, faour, faive, six, seven, eight." "[All Cheering] Yeah!" "Shh, shh, shh." "You guys, we can't let anybody know we're in here." "Really, really good job." "Don't leave any ofyour stuff." "All right." "Thinkwe're ready?" "." "Well, no one fell tonight." "I'm pretty happy about that." "Um, Whittier, can I talk toyou alone?" "." "Yeah." "Francis, what's up?" "." "Uh," "I'm gonna level with you." "I'm getting very nervous about tomorrow." "Okay?" "." "And I'm thinking about violating myselftonight." "It's an actor relaxation technique." "What I need to know from you is what does Whittier think?" "." "Is that a bad idea, or" "Well, it really depends." "Uh, would you sayviolating yourself usually hurts you or helps you?" "." "Oh, I'd say it's made me the actor that I am today." "Okay." "Then I would say hold off." "Will do, chief." "Okay." "Well, well, well." "Ifit isn't the blond leading the bland." "Last minute cram session, kiddie kiddos?" "Why don't you guys worry about your own team?" "." "That's what a real leaderwould do." "Oh." "Is that what a real leaderwould do?" "." "A real leaderwouldn't be practicing at midnight, Whit." "You can drilla loser allnight long, and in the morning, you still got a loser." " Put makeup on a pig" " It's still a pig." "Oink, oink, oink, oink." "[ Giggles ] [ Giggles ]" "You wanna hear our cheer for tomorrow?" "." "We're ready, we're fit, we'll smackyou like a little bitch." "Oh-ho." "We're tough, we're lean, step to us and we'll get mean." "Hey, ho,you know." "We'llputyou on the flo'." "Dust offyour spankies." "Stand up and get some mo'." "Don't cry, don't pout, don't have yourself a cow." "You're gonna get whupped." "Your mommy can't helpyou now." " [Woman Giggles ]" " Come on." "You can do better than that." "I can do better, bitch." "Let's go." " Come on." " Marni, chill." "Marni." "No." "Get back here!" "We are not finished with this." "Hey, hey!" "Ow." "Okay." " Watch the face." " Okay, girls, slap and tickle time is over." "Oh." "Ow!" "[ Grunts ]" "Oh!" "Right." "Thereyou go." " Ow." " [ Groans ]" "Ow." "Ow." "Little, uh, concealer will help that situation there." "[ Groans ] Tina!" "[Beep On P.A. ] [Woman On P.A. ] Paging Dr. Stateman." "[ Groans ]" "I'm fine, you guys." "Yeah?" "." "Can you hold me up in the airwith three crushed metacarpals?" "." "Of course." "Ow!" "Shit!" "We should just call Tina and forfeit." "Yeah, you know what." "I don't thinkwe have a choice." "I guess tomorrow I'll go back to doing Phantom ofathe Opera in my dorm room." "Hmm." "Wait." "Hold up, guys." "Listen." "Tomorrow we are gonna go into that field house and get in front of those students." "And as sure as I'm standing here right now, I can assure you that" "that we might suck." "We might totallysuck, but to a real cheerleader... it doesn't matter ifyou win or lose." "[Door Opens ]" "It only matters ifyou try as hard as you can-- ifyou give it every ounce of spirit you've got." "So, what doyousay?" "Who wants to suck tomorrow?" "." "You know what?" "Ifathere's one thing I'm goodat in this world... it's sucking." " I'm in!" " Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." "Hey." "Why suck ifyou could not suck?" "." "Because we're missing Francis." "It's gonna be hard." "Well, could you guys use a sub?" "." "You're gonna lose your scholarship." "Yeah, well, whatever I lose in financial aid, I'll gain in testicles!" "So I'm in!" "[ All Chattering ]" "[Man ] Okay." "Allright." "Come on." "Let's go." "Twenty-faive, 26, 27, 28, 29, 33." "More." "More." "More!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Give me that!" "[ Groans ]" "$$ [Dance ] $ Co" " Come on $" "How are you feelin'?" "." "I feel like I wanna smile." "Good!" "Hey!" "Ow." "Ooh." "You ready to kick a little?" "." "Bring it!" "$$ [ Mimicking Beatbox ]" "$ I'm feelin' a little nervous A little, little nervous $" "$$ [ Beatbox ]" "$ I really have to pee Really, really have to pee $$" "Check." "Check." "Check!" "[Feedback]" "Varsity!" "[Tina ] Okay." "Here we go." "Here, muskrat!" "Set!" "[ Groans ]" "Don't screw up." "Pecs out." "Where's your water bra?" "." "I gave it to you!" "Did you bleach your teeth?" "." "Did you shave?" "." "God." "Everybody, find your happy place." "Mmm." "California State College, are you ready for a showdown?" "." "[ Cheering ]" "[Man ] Colleen, we loveyou!" "First up is yourvery own varsity cheerleading squad." "No!" "[ Groans ]" "Let's go!" "Go, go, go!" "Let's go!" "[Woman ] Let's go!" "Let's go, Stingers!" "Go, Stingers!" " [ All Cheering ]" " Go, Stingers!" "[Woman ] Let's go!" "Varsity!" "Varsity!" "Varsity!" "Varsity!" "Varsity!" "Varsity!" "Let's go, Stingers." "Let's go!" "[ WolfaWhistle ]" "Tina!" "Tina!" "Tina!" "Tina!" "Tina!" "Tina!" "Tina!" "Tina!" "Tina!" "Tina!" "[ Cheering Subsides ] Come on, you guys." " [Man ] Come on, guys." "Let's go!" " [ Man 2 ] Come on, guys." "[ Man 1 ] Let's get this show started!" "$$ [ Dance ]" "[ Crowd Cheering]" "Go, Sammy!" "Go, Sammy!" "Go, Sammy!" "Go, Sammy!" "Go, Sam my!" "Go, Sam my!" "Go, Sam my!" "Go, Sammy!" "Go, Sammy!" "Go, Sammy!" "Go, Sammy!" "Go, Sammy!" "$$ [ Ends ]" "[ Crowd Cheering ]" "$$ [ Dance ] $ Let's go $" "$$ [ Continues ]" "Tina!" "Tina!" "Tina!" "Tina!" "$$ [ Continues ]" "$$ [ Continues ]" "$ Oh, yeah Here we go $" "$ Here we go H-H-H-Here we go $" "[ Mouthi ng Word ]" "$ Uhh, uhh Go, go, go, go, go $" "$ R-R-R-Raise your hands all up in the air $" "$ Raise your hands all up in the air $" "$ Raise your hands your hands, your hands $" "$$ [ Continues ]" "$ Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah $" "$ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah $" "$ Ooh, yeah we know it $" "$ We are the best $ [ Li p-synchi ng ]" "$ We, we We, we $ $ Are, are $" "$ The, the, the $" "$ Here we go Here we go Here we go $$" "[ Cheering ]" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Tina!" "Tina!" "Tina!" "Tina!" "Ti na!" "Ti na!" "Ti na!" "Ti na!" "Tina!" "Tina!" "Let's go!" "Number one!" "[ Cheering Continues ]" "Let's do this." "[ Cheering Subsides ]" " [ All Chattering ]" " Next we have a new group." "Please welcome the... quote, Renegades, unquote." "[ Chuckling ]" "$$ [ Gregorian Chant ]" " [ Woman ] Nice outfaits!" " [Man ] You guys suck!" "$$ [ Continues ] [Man ] Monks can't cheer!" "$$ [ Ends ] Welcome," "ladies and gents of all ages." "Feastyou eyes on a "cheergasm"like no man... has seen before." " $ Hit it$ - $$ [ Dance ]" "Yeah!" "Ooh!" "$$ [ Continues ]" "$ Get crazy $ [ Continues, Indistinct ]" "$ crazy $" "[ Crowd Cheering]" "[ Cheering Continues ]" "[ Man ] Yeah!" "Whoo!" "$$ [ Continues ]" "$ Get crazy The heat is on $" "$ Get crazy Crazy, crazy, crazy $$" "Sti ngers!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Whoo!" " Ow." " I t's cool." "Okay." "Yeah!" "Come on!" "Yeah!" "[ Cheering Continues ]" "[ Microphone Feedback ] [ Laughter]" "[ Woman Yelling]" "[ Sebastian ] Damn kids." "[ Man ] Come on." "[ Woman ] Let'sjust do it." "H i, everyone." "I 'm Dean Sebastian." "I want to thank both teams for putting on a really wonderful display." "It reminds me ofa my student days." " [ All Groaning ]" " Ofacourse, back in those days... the cheers weren't quite as complicated." "J ust tell us the winner, will you, please?" "." " Okay." " Thankyou." "The winner, representing Cal State College... at the National Cheerleading Championships" "[Man ] Come on!" "[Man 2 ] Come on!" "[ Crowd Muttering]" "[ Woman ] Let's go!" "Come on!" " The Renegades!" " Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "[ Squealing ]" "[ Sobbing ]" "You are so pathetic!" "You're pathetic!" "I know you wax your butt!" "Do you actually think your roots are natural?" "." "You are not born with roots!" "[ Gasps ]" "[ SqueakyVoice ] I was too!" "You did it!" "I know!" "[ Shrieks ] What'd you think?" "." "You're right." "You sucked." "[ Frustrated Groan ]" "Janice." "Towel." "Immediately!" "Marni." "I quit." "Immediately." "[ Gasps ]" "Excuse me." "Oh." "Hi." "Uh, I just wanted to say nice job." "[ Clears Throat ] Your routine was good." "Inconsistent and a tad pedestrian at times, but good." "Wow." "Thanks." "I'm not exactly s" "On behalf ofthe administration and alumni I wanna offeryou and your team... the full backing ofthe college." "You're our newvarsity cheerleading squad." "It'llbe a thrill to work with the new... bomb diggity." "Now ifayou'll excuse me, ladies, I have a lunch date." "[ Exhales ]" "So, we might need a sub for nationals." "Really?" "." "Wait." "Wait." "You and me on the same team?" "." "Of course, you'd have to audition first." "I don't audition." "Hmm." "Suityourself." "But maybe I can come helpyou out, you know." "I'll have to check my "sched." I could bring Marni." "[ Squeals ] Or not." "I never even really liked her anyways." "It's just, I was thinking Friday we could get some "fro-yo," do some choreography." "You know, you guys." "[Tina ] Whittier,you have such great hair." "Ijust-- Who doesyou color?" " Marker." " Hmm." "Uh" " S" " I expect more-- [ Groans ]" "Well, she's a sh-- sinking ship." "[Man ] Let's do that again." "Oh, my God!" "$ You're a real tough cookie with a long history$ [ Lip-synching ]" "$ Ofabreaking little hearts like the one in me $" "$ That's okay Let's see howyou do it $" "$ Put up your dukes Let's get down to it $" "$ Hit me with your best shot $" "$ Why don'tyou hit me with your best shot $" "$ Hit me with your best shot $" " [ Grunts ] - $ Fire away $" "$ You come on with a come-on, You don't faight faair $" "$ But that's okay See ifal care $" "$ Knock me down It's all in vain $" "$ I get right back on my faeet again $" "$ Hit me with your best shot $" "$ Why don'tyou hit me with your best shot $" "$ Hit me with your best shot $" "$ Fire away $" "Who can settle this and judge it who's right." " Oh, yeah?" "." " Yes!" "[ Man ] That's a cut." "Almost had it." "[ Giggles ]" "$$ [ GuitarSolo ]" "$ Hit me withyourbest shot$" "$ Why don'tyou hit me withyourbest shot$" "$ Hit me with your best shot$" "$ Fire away $" "Give me an "S-S." Give me a "T-R." Err!" "[ Grunts ] You know I'm about to get twisted, baby!" "$ Hit me withyourbest shot$ It's really not coming off." " $ Fire away$" " Away!" "$ Fire away$" "Yeah!" "$ Fire away$ [ Whittier] God, areyou losingyour drawers?" "Sorry." "$ Fire away $" "And cut!" "[ All Cheering ]" "Youjust wait till game day." "She'll be perfect." "[ I mitating Whittier ] Oh, she's gonna be perfect on game day." "Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm." "Shh!" "$$ [Dance ] $ C-Come on$" "$ C-Come on$" "$$ [Hip-hop ] $$ [Man Rapping, Indistinct]" "$$ [ Voice Skipping]" "$$ [Rapping Continues, Indistinct ]" "$$ [ Continues ]" "$ C-Come on $" "$ Come on $$" "$$ [ Woman Vocalizing ]"