"[ thunder crashes ] [laughsevilly] [ sawing ]" "[ electricity crackles ] it'salive!" "[ thunder crashes ] [laughsevilly] [ smooch!" "] [ laughs evilly ] hutone!" "Huttwo !" "Hut -- aah!" "doublecross,bitch!" "wilson!" "I seeaboat!" "There's a boat coming this way!" "We're rescued!" "go!" "Go!" "Go !" "Go !" "Go !" "whatareyoudoing?" "wearehijackingyourship , captain." "Call your government and tell them we want $1 million, or we" "Will kill you." "everyonethinksI'mdead" "Already." "okay,thisis ,uh ,clearlya" "Mistake." "aah!" "holycrap!" "Is that a bengal tiger?" "[growls] aah!" "richardparker!" "wilson!" "richardparker!" "wilson!" "richardparker!" "wilson!" "welcomebackto boxingnight here in bangkok." "The champion is saensak payakaroon, a proud thai" "Fighter." "His challenger is another thai" "Fighter -- tie fighter." "[ bell clangs ]" "And the bells clang, and payakaroon advances on his" "Opponent and lands a right jab and a hook, and now another" "Solid jab, and it doesn't seem to be fazing the empire" "Starfighter at all!" "If anything, payakaroon seems to" "Be injuring his own hand, shooting punches straight into" "The metal hull." "Ooh!" "And there's a laser blast from the tie fighter, and" "Payakaroon's head is blown clear off." "Tie fighter wins his first fight with a decisive victory." "They are trying to attach the championship belt to his waist," "And he does not like it!" "baby,I 'vegotasecret,but" "I'm afraid to tell you." "it'sokay,baby." "You just say it." "I-Ijustputonthis frosting" "So you'd like me." "I'm actually a bagel." "[sobs] you're jewish?" "!" "kal-el." "father?" "I'veprogrammedahologramof myself to assist you." "Get out of here before general zod arrives." "thankyou,father." "lookslikeyou'reeatingtoo" "Much dairy, kal-el." "dad!" "I don'tneedyourhelp !" "yourdigestivetractsuggests otherwise." "That's going to be a triple wipe -- maybe more." "Aim for a one-wiper." "Try to eat less cheese." "ugh!" "Ridiculous!" "oh,clark." "I think I'm ready to go all the way." "gametime,lois." "[ both smooching ]" "I'dbeginwithforeplay, kal-el." "what'sgoingon ?" "!" "Who's that?" "!" "startbykissingher inner thigh, then spell out the" "Alphabet on her clitoris with your tongue." "The krypton alphabet, specifically the letter [babbling wildly] dad!" "Thisis so embarrassing!" "yourdeadfathermakessome  good points about cunnilingus." "Thanks." "jor-elcome." "areyouahouse?" "uh,no." "[ machine beeping ] [ dramatic music plays ] flywithme to neverland!" "[ children laughing ] children!" "No!" "thesearethelostboys ." "They're not vampires." "[ telephone rings ]" "We..." "Have a phone?" "Hello?" "Idon'tknowwho you are ." "I don't know what you want." "I don't know why you dress like...?" "agayrobinhood." "likea gayrobinhood." "But I have a very particular set of skills that make me a" "Nightmare for people like you, by which I guess I mean flying" "Gay robin hoods." "goodluckfindingneverland ," "Grandpa." "[ receiver slams ] oh,what'she saying?" "[ dial tone ] he'ssaying"ahhhhhhhhhhhh." that'sthedialtone." "dialtone?" "This is a very old phone." "He's holding your children in what I presume is an underground" "Sex club called "never land." oh,thankgoodnessyou do" "Security work for bankers, like myself, mr." "Mills." "But how will you reach the children?" "They were flying." "IthinkIheardthem say" "Something about "thinking happy thoughts."" "happythoughts,eh ?" "no!" "No,please!" "Aah!" "whoo-hoo!" "OffIgo!" "[ crash ] aah!" "ugh!" "aah!" "[farts] I just pooped in my tail!" "wherearethechildren?" "[farts]" "I'venevermetreal-live mermaids before!" "oh-ho!" "That'sso fun!" "Let's drown this bitch." "no!" "Please!" "Don't!" "No!" "No!" "Oh!" "wendy,whereareyour brothers?" "there!" "Onthepirateship !" "timefortheselittle" "Chickadees to walk the plank!" "[ laughs evilly ] ticktock." "Time'sup ." "Hyah!" "aaaaaaah!" "I'mtakingyouhome," "Children." "notsofast,you old codfish!" "ooh!" "Nahnahnah !" "Nah na-- tink!" "Good luck getting home without" "Her fairy dust, asshole!" "whywouldIwanttoleave" "When my happy thought's about to come true?" "yourwhat?" "Oh!" "No!" "No " "Aah!" "okay,butseriously,man ,how" "The [bleep] are we getting home?" "!" "hangon." "oh!" "No!" "No !" "Wait!" "Aah!" "[humming]" ""abuttuba"?" "This looks like the work of -- wasitabat Isaw?" "palindrome." "I see you're still talking in sentences that are spelled the" "Same forward and backward." "What are you planning?" "evilI diddwell,lewdIdid  live." "tellme,whydoyoucontinue to haunt gotham, palindrome?" "mr." "Owlatemymetalworm." "mr." "Owl?" "I don't know mr." "Owl!" "gohangasalami,I'ma" "Lasagna hog." "overmydeadbody," "Palindrome." "Yah!" "yarg!" "Goddammad dog ." "Ishouldfeedyou tothe" "Dogs." "no,sir." "Preferprison." "it'snottoolateforyou, palindrome." "You could still do good." "dogood,I?" "No !" "Evil anon I deliver, I maim nine more hero men in saginaw," "Sanitary sword a-tuck, carol, I. Lo!" "Rack, caught a drowsy rat in" "Aswan." "I gas nine more hero men in" "Miami." "Reviled I, nona, live on." "I do -- oh, god!" "wow." "That was impressive." "Yah!" "yarg!" "look,honey!" "Ashootingstar !" "aww!" "domino,mother[bleep] [ machine gun firing ] both:" "Ah!" "Ah !" "Aaaaah!" "thanksforthrowingmea  welcoming party, count." "I've never been to a party hosted by a vampire before." "Idoit forall the  newcomers, alex." "After tonight, I guarantee you'll be..." "One of us." "Anh anh anh anh!" "[ techno music playing ]" "mmm." "mmm." "Iguesswhenour show's guests include katy perry and" "Ice-t, it's a slippery slope." "Whoo-hoo-hoo!" "Hey, grover." "Hi, snuffy." "Huh?" "Oh, no!" "The count -- h-he turned you" "All into the undead!" "ifyouassumedIwasa" "Vampire in every other way but that, then I count one -- one" "Moron." "aah!" "Aah!" "Oh ,no !" "Aah!" "Oh!" "[ dramatic music plays ]" "Oh, nice character intro." "How long you been waitin' here" "Watching me shit myself?" "gethim!" "ooh!" "aah!" ""s"isfor"sever."" "ha!" "Flawless built-in defense" "System." "Wait!" "W-what are you doing?" "aah!" "Oof!" "I see one -- one dead mother-- oh, my goodness." "There's not a speck of blood on you." "What, do you keep a pack of handi wipes in that flak jacket?" "no." "Justthis." "one." "Two--  stopcounting." "thatwasaplay-by-play." "I just pissed and shit in my own pants." "Aah!" "[ choking ] wow." "So, I guess if you've hunted all" "The way to sesame street, you must have gotten every vampire" "In the world." "notquite." "whowantssomeofmy count chocula cereal?" "Which, if looked at from a very specific point of view, is a" "Nutritious part of this balanced breakfast." "[ shotgun cocks ] you!" "almostdonethere,doc ?" "justa second,mr ." "Peterson." "I..." "Yes, I am done." "I'd like to do further tests, but I " "My watch!" "yoink!" "[nerdyvoice]what 'sgoing on?" "[nerdyvoice]they  announced the premiere date for" ""star wars:" "Episode vii." it's gonna be so cool!" "yeah." "It'sso cool." "♪ I should be happy about" ""star wars" ♪ ♪ but just like blue milk, I" "Feel blue ♪ ♪ 'cause what if it's a mess?" "♪" "♪ I can't help but obsess ♪ ♪ about all the horrible crap" "They could do ♪ ♪ they could give lightsabers to" "Ewoks ♪ ♪ make boba fett have a" "Talking dog friend ♪ voicedbyeddiemurphy." "Heh heh heh heh..." "♪productplacementwouldbe" "Sad ♪ ♪ plot twist, luke is his own" "Dad ♪ I'llneverjoinme!" "♪andeveryonehigh-fivesin the end ♪ all:" "Yeah!" "Don'tdodrugs!" "♪theycouldsaveallofthe" "Wookiees ♪ ♪ and dress them up in business" "Suits ♪ ♪ ackbar said... ♪ it'sa rap!" "♪andthenhestartstorap ♪" "♪ and han says a catchphrase when he shoots ♪ oh,didIdothat ?" "♪oh,I'vebeenburnedso" "Many times before ♪ ♪ green lantern, prometheus, 2 girls 1 cup ♪ ♪ but "star wars" is the one" "That I most adore ♪ ♪ please, j.J., don't [bleep]" "This up ♪ all:♪ u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-up♪ [vomits] ♪I don'tknowwhat'sreal" "Anymore ♪ ♪ "star wars" has become my sad" "Fixation ♪ ♪ mom wanted me to be a" "Surgeon ♪ ♪ I'm 26 and still a -- ♪" "Comic collector." "Ohhhh!" "♪ but never mind ♪ ♪ these movies could be" "Awesome ♪ ♪ a million force ghosts going" "On a killing spree ♪ ♪ giant space worms everywhere ♪" "♪ chewie's grown back all his hair ♪" "♪ I'll camp out for a whole year just to see ♪" "♪ "star wars:" "Episode vii" shot in imax and 3-d ♪" "And starring me as luke skywalker's favorite son," "Who gets the best stuff, like lightsabers made of gold!" "♪ and finally has sex ♪ [ all cheer ]" "♪ba-bawkbawkbawk♪ ♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪" "♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪" "♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ ♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪" "♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪" "♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ ♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪" "♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪" "Ba-gawk!" "Bawk." "wilson!" "richardparker!" "wilson!" "richardparker!" "wilson!" "richardparker!"