"Freezing." "Choking." "Getting tongue-tied." "It's what we call it when your mind goes from brilliant to blank." "We should only be gone a day, two max." "If you need me before that, you can just..." "Please, Harriet's dying for some quality time with her grandmama." "Could've just taken her with me." "You can prepare all you want." "Aren't you gonna say, like, "Go, child?" "You're being ridiculous."" "But the feeling can still hit you, out of nowhere." "If you're having second thoughts, we could bring your patient here." "No, I told you, we've got a girl who needs a throat transplant and a donor in the same exact hospital." "We can't risk moving either of them." "I know." "I just meant..." "So when it hits you, when your mind shuts down, when you open your mouth and no words come out, the good news is..." "If you have something to say, say it." "Nothing." "I'm sure you'll be just fine." "It happens to all of us." "Wait." "Where is Grey?" "Since when is April coming?" "Oh." "Grey called to tell me that Zola has flu." "And you didn't think to tell me that?" "I knew you'd need a capable surgeon to assist, and April's more than capable." "Hello." "Hi, Catherine." " Hi." " You have everything you need?" "Yes, of course." "Okay." "All right." "You ready?" "I'll put her in the car." "Jackson, go." "Miss Harriet and I have plans." "No medical journals, all right?" "I don't need her looking at flayed-open surgical fields." "Give me my child." "Bye, baby." "Bye, baby." "Can I take your bag, Dr. Grey?" "Uh, uh, it's Dr. Kepner." "I'm so sorry." "The manifest said..." "It's okay." "Dr. Grey got hijacked by my mother." "This is amazing." "Why have we never taken your plane before?" "It's..." "It's not my plane." "It's your name right out there." "Right on the wing, great big letters..." "Avery." " Yeah, but..." " So it's your plane." "No, it's the family plane." "It's not my plane." "Well, yeah." "It's Catherine's, too." "I mean..." "I mean, she did make the Avery Foundation what it is." "Seems right she should get to fly anywhere she wants like this." "Really?" "Can we not talk about my mother right now?" "Yes, I will have some champagne." "You should not have any champagne." "We are going straight to the hospital." "Uh, club soda?" " Same for me, please, Katie." "Thank you." " Coming right up." "Welcome, welcome." "Here are your charts." "Dr. Avery." "Dr. Grey." "Kepner." "Right." "Sorry." "I..." "I know his name because it's on" " all our stationery." " Right." "A patient and a donor... two of them here together, same time, same day, perfect match..." "It's like winning the lottery." "I mean, if you call a brain-dead kid a lottery ticket, then, yeah." "Of course." "And it's a horrible loss." "Uh, that was..." "I-I'm just thrilled that you're both here to make this possible." "The donor patient's room is at the end of this ICU." "And you have the donor consent forms?" "Yeah, before we get to that, uh, Mr. Young is going to need you to explain to him why there's nothing more you can do for his son." "What?" "No one's told him that yet?" "I thought he knew we were coming." "Well, he does." "It..." "It's just that, he's had a bit of trouble accepting what's happened, as I'm sure you can understand." "You told me very clearly that the patient's father was on board." "Now, hold on." "I never said that he agreed." "I merely said..." "So he thinks that we're coming to save his kid, not take his organs." "I thought that, once you had examined the boy, it'd be better coming from you." "I'm just glad you're here." "I mean, Dr. Corridan said that there's nothing he could do." "Then he said there was another doctor who was coming in from Seattle." "I was like..." "I mean, it's great, right?" "Th-There's hope." "So, okay." "What's the plan?" "I mean, you... you... you want to do some tests?" "Surgery?" "Obviously, you want to examine him, but how long before you think he'll wake up?" " Mr. Young, I'm af..." " Eric, Eric, please." " Eric..." " It's his birthday." "Did I tell you that?" "Double digits, he kept saying." "I mean, he was having the time of his life up on that mountain." ""Just one more run, Dad." "Just one more run..."" "Eric, I'm afraid we have some difficult news." "We've looked at Brian's scans, and, unfortunately, Dr. Corridan was right." "There's nothing that we can do for your son." "Then why are you here?" "We are here... because we wanted to talk to you about... donating your son's organs." "No." "You're here to help my son." " I understand how difficult this is..." " Difficult?" "If you understood what you were asking, you wouldn't..." "Mr. Young..." "I know what we're asking." "When all you want is to have him back, to hold him." "I know the thought of letting any part of him go feels... impossible." "You're the only that can make this decision." "We understand that." "We wouldn't ask you to do something that you're not comfortable doing." "And if ultimately you don't want to do this, that's fine." "We are here to support you either way." "All I know is... is when I lost my son..." "I just needed to find a little meaning in it." "Where do I sign?" "This way to Caroline's room." "Her parents are very eager to meet you, Dr. Avery." "This is Risa and Mary Hodges." "Well, it's a pleasure to meet you both." "Listen, we're grateful that you're here, that you came all this way, but our daughter's met dozens of doctors, each one ordering more tests, putting her through more hell, making promises they had no business making." "Mary, maybe let the guy say hello." "She needs the tumor gone." "But she needs her vocal cords." "She needs her voice." "So if this throat transplant isn't real..." "I mean, if it's just another rug you're gonna pull out" " from under her, then..." " You're scared." "I totally understand." "Let me, um..." "Let me start over." "It's my fault." "I'm Dr. Avery." "I am a double board-certified plastic surgeon and ENT specialist." "I'm also a dad." "Now, I've come a long way because I know that I can help your daughter." "And I do not make promises that I can't keep." "I just..." "I still don't know if this is the right thing." "The laryngectomy is still the safest..." "No, Mary, we agreed." "They are not taking her vocal cords." "What if you go in there, Dr. Avery, and you cut open her throat, and the transplant doesn't work?" "In that place, we'd be looking at a permanent trach." "Permanent." "See?" "And you want to risk that?" "He wouldn't do it if he didn't think that he could." "Would you?" "This procedure gives her the best chance at survival... at getting her voice back, her whole life back." "Mary, come on." "Okay." " Why are you doing that?" " Doing what?" "Telling those moms you're a dad to charm your way into the room," " using Samuel to..." " It's my life." "It happened." "Yeah, it's my life, too, but I don't use it to... " "To what?" "Help that dad make his decision?" "Help those moms find a little bit of comfort?" "April, if you don't like it, that is your problem." "I'm not the one that asked you to come here in the first place." "Look, we have tonight to prep for the surgery." "I have somewhere that I need to be." "I will find you later." "What..." "Where do you need to be?" " It's Montana." " I'll find you later." "April..." "I laid out all of Caroline's charts." "Chinese food is on the way." "I know things are not the greatest between us right now, but if we're gonna do the surgery..." "Yeah, no, I need to prep alone." "I'll talk to you tomorrow." "Um..." "Okay." "Carl, I thought your doctor said to cut down on the red meat." "That's why I'm sharing." "You good?" "On the house for new customers." "Well, enjoy that." "Hello?" "No, this is Dr. Kepner." "No, I don't..." "I don't know." "Have you tried his room?" "I'm sorry." "What?" "!" "There was a lesion on the donor's throat, which means the transplant is no longer an option." "I am so sorry..." "Don't tell us you're sorry." "You talked me into this." "You said this was the solution!" "And now, I mean, if there's no donor, how do you fix our daughter?" "!" "Mary, please, stop yelling." "If there's a time to yell, Risa, this is it." "The best way to help your daughter is to do the laryngectomy, which means..." "No, we know what that means." "That is removing her vocal cords and her ability to speak." "And we told Dr. Avery it's not an option." "At this point, I really think it is her best chance." "And..." "And what about Dr. Avery?" "Is that what he thinks, too?" "I don't know where you are or what you're doing, but call me!" "Damn it!" "Oh, my..." "Where have you been?" "I have been looking everywhere for you." "Corridan's called a dozen times." "I have been calling, texting..." "Calm down." "You sent one text." "No organs, no surgery, right?" "Didn't hear anything else after that, so I figured I'd have a drink." "Oh." "Battery died." "Well, that's not very helpful, now, is it?" " You're drunk." " You're pissed." "Yeah, yeah, uh-huh, I am." "We lost the donor, Caroline's repeat scans show more extensive esophageal invasion, her parents are a wreck, and... and you're... you're here getting drunk?" "Jackson." "I got off work, and I had a beer, April." "Four beers, actually, and, uh, some whiskey on top of that." "What is wrong with you?" "Nothing." "Nothing wrong with me." "We have a patient who's counting on us." "No, not us." "Me." "And there's no organs, there's nothing I can do, so just leave me the hell alone." "I mean, this isn't you." "You don't get wasted in bars and bail on your patients..." "I didn't bail on anyone!" "So, how we doing over here?" "Dessert?" "No, he's going home... to sober up." "He has work, right?" "In that case, let me call you a cab." "I'm walking." "Can I get you something?" "No, I'm good." "He left his book." ""Techniques in Oropharyngeal Surgery."" "Hmm." "Airway reconstruction?" "Uh, throat... transplant." "Supposed to be a throat transplant." "It just got scrapped." "Total laryngectomy not an option, huh?" "I was a surgeon." "That was many lifetimes ago." "Really?" "You gave that up for this?" "Well, this is not all that different." "People come to you in need, you provide them comfort." "They leave here feeling better than when they came." "And the hours are better, and nobody dies." "That I know of." "Welcome to Bozeman, Doctor..." "Uh, Kepner." "April Kepner." "Robert Avery." "Avery." "I'm..." "I'm sorry." "Like the hospital?" "Kinda." "Once upon a time." "Let me know if you need anything, okay?" "I..." "I will." "We still need to find a way to help Caroline." "Oh." "What time is it?" "It's early." " What?" " Are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine." "Hurry up and get dressed." "We should get to work." "Sure." "I hate this." "I don't see how we could do anything but the laryngectomy, but I hate the laryngectomy." "Seems like she'd have had a better shot if you'd taken her to Grey Sloan." "She's not stable enough to move." "You know that." "No, not now." "I'm just saying, I don't know why we had to come all the way out here." "Do you?" "The last time I worked on a kid with a throat tumor, we did a staged procedure." "I did a radical excision and a trach first, and then we did a skin flap." "She doesn't have that kind of time." "Yeah, I..." "I know." "I'm just..." "But if we'd gotten to this last night..." "Then we still would not have had enough time for the flap." "I mean, come on." "You made your point." "I was drunk, April." "I get it." " I don't need you to monitor everything..." " I'm not!" "I am just trying to come up with a fix for our patient, regardless of the fact that you don't even want me here." "And yet you're still here." "'Cause you and my mother are such good friends that she chose you instead of asking me who I want." "Oh, my God!" "I was friends with her long before you and I were eve..." "I respect her!" " I respect what she's built..." " Great!" " ...and what the means..." " Good for you!" "You know, your mom says the difference between the two of us is that you were born with money and I had to earn it." "It's why she and I are more alike." "You think this is a contest between you and me?" "Who's the most alike?" "Who's the most appreciative?" "No, Jackson!" " That is not the pointof any of this..." " Shut up." "What?" "Don't tell me to shut up." "Are you kidding me..." "Shut up." "If her airway's collapsed, we'll have to crike her right away." "Take her straight to the O.R." "Dr. Corridan, what are we looking at?" "The nurses paged us, 911." "What is happening here?" "Caroline is being discharged." "What?" "!" "No, she's not stable enough to move." "The doctors at Baylor think she is." "What doctors at Baylor?" "The one we called." "I spoke with Dr. Rapkin there." "She has a new method she believes will help Caroline." "Aggressive chemo-radiation with staged excision after two weeks." "Yes, we have already rejected that..." "We've gone through every possible alternative." "Risa, there comes a point when you just have to hear..." "You think I don't hear you?" "!" "All of you?" "My daughter has no voice." "We are her voice." "We are not gonna let her down just because we stopped asking questions." "We asked, you said no." "We're leaving." "They have the right to move her if they feel it's necessary." "No." "It is too dangerous to move her anywhere." "That girl could choke on her own tumor, okay?" "If you move her, she could die... period." "Okay." "So, y-y-you... you'll need to fill out an AMA form." "Legal reasons." "Tell us what you have." "Tell us why we should stay." "We've been down every road... every one." "There are no other options." "We do the laryngectomy, Caroline lives." "It's that simple." "We're going to Baylor." "It's what she wants... what we all want." "We'll fix it." "We will fix her voice." "Listen, what Dr. Avery means is that..." "I have an idea is what I mean." "I told you that I don't break my promises, right?" "I promise you this." "I have an idea that I think is gonna work." "All right, I'll call Dr. Rapkin." "I will." "I'll call everybody that I can." "This is gonna work, okay?" "Give Dr. Kepner and I a little bit of time and do not move her." "Please." "We get on a plane tomorrow at 3:00." "You've got till then." "Okay." "So what's your idea?" "I don't have one." "What?" "You just..." "Yes, I lied, but they can't move her, and I just needed a little more time." "What is the matter with you?" "Why are you torturing this poor girl?" "You just made a promise that you know you can't keep, that you know we can't deliver." "We can find a way to deliver." "Where?" "Where..." "Wh-Where are we gonna find it?" "At the diner?" "!" "What?" "When are you gonna tell me that you found your father?" "Your father, Jackson..." "your long-lost, deadbeat dad?" "The distinguished-hippie- former-surgeon Dr. Avery, who slings hash at the local diner?" "He's the whole reason we're here!" "No, I came here to help a patient." "Don't lie to me." "And worse yet, don't lie to Caroline and her parents." "We are only here 'cause of your freakin' father, and now that kid is gonna die." " Night-night, baby." " Sleep well." "Be good for Grandma, okay?" "Love you." "Love you, nugget." "Mwah!" "Why didn't you just tell me?" "All right." "Forget it." ""You good?"" "What?" "I sat there, staring at him across the room." "Figured, you know, eventually, he'll see me, recognize... something..." "my face, my eyes, just... anything." "And that's I got was, "You good?"" "Like, literally, that's it." "No recognition, nothing." "Like I was... anyone." "No one." "So talk to him." "Yeah, I tried." "I..." "I wanted to." "I went, and I sat there, waited..." "I got a million things to say to that guy." "Thinking about it my whole..." "Tell him what an ass he was for walking out on his family, his kid..." "He couldn't hack it as an Avery." "Join the club." "Could still show up." "Pick something..." "uh, birthday, graduation." "Show the hell up." "That's what I was gonna say... all that." "Then, uh..." "Then he..." "He looked me right in the eye." "He doesn't know his own son." "So make him know you." " This is stupid." " No, it's not." " All right, well, you can go." " I'm not going." "We're not married." "It's not like who I talk to or don't talk to is any of your business anyway." "Yeah, it is my business, because we have a job to do, and you're not here." "And you're not gonna be here till you say what you need to say." "So go say it." "Then it will be over... and we can get back to work." "Hey, back again." "Sorry, we're closed." "I've got some meatloaf left over in the back." "I could fix up something to go if you'd like..." "I'm Jackson Avery." "I'm your son." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "Jackson." "Oh, son." "Oh, Jackson!" "Oh, good God!" "Oh, my God." "Come inside." "Oh, Jackson." "I'm sorry, it's just, my brain is going a little... you know?" "You want to sit?" "Of course not." "You've been sitting." "Why didn't you just..." "I mean, I don't blame you, but..." "I'm sorry, I do not know what to say here." "Are you here for work, too, at the hospital?" "You and your friend, uh, April, was it?" "The surgeon?" "Yeah." "You're a surgeon." "I am, yeah." "Uh, Plastics and ENT." "Of course." "Of course you are." "Good God." "And your mom?" "Is she here, too?" "This your place?" "It gives me a roof over my head and weekends off to play golf, food on the table." "Speaking of which..." "Oh, wait right there." "My own blend." "I've been working with these local guys..." "Great guys." "You'd like them." "I don't know why I just said that." "I have no idea who you'd like." "Anyway, we're thinking of opening up a little business on the side." "Nothing big, you know?" "Just putting it out there for the tourists and such." "You're right." "Incredible, huh?" "Chicory." "Listen to me, yapping away like some kind of idiot." "Tell me something." "Anything, everything." "I know nothing." "Here." "Here we go." "God, it's good to see you." "Look at you." "I'm Head of Plastics and board chair at Grey Sloan Memorial." "I'm, uh, developing a new protocol with skin grafts, particularly burn victims, and..." "No, I'm not talking, um..." "Of course you're amazing." "You know, with your mom's help, your name..." "I'm sure you're successful." "No, what I mean is, uh..." "What you do, your family." "Are you married?" "Kids?" "I guess what I'm asking is, are you happy?" "Yeah, of course." "No." "Not "of course."" "I'm happy." "Are you?" "Honestly, yeah." "Yeah, I am." "But for me, the whole Avery thing..." "I just couldn't do it." "If it works for you, great." "For me..." "The galas, the hand-shaking..." "it wasn't my thing." "Your thing." "But when I found out what was, you couldn't drag me away, pal." "From your diner in Montana?" "The night that I met your mother, it was an annual Avery Gala." "I was stuffed in a thousand-dollar tux." "She... was the most beautiful woman in the room, going toe-to-toe with some rich dinosaur about God-knows-what." "And she had a laugh..." "Oh." "I introduced myself, and she ignored me half the night just to spite me." "I was born into that life, but she was born for it." "So you took off." "You know your mother." "Her expectations are... crushing." "How about you don't talk about her anymore?" "I'm sorry." "You're right." " She is your mother..." " That's true... she is my mother." "And I don't know you." "Jackson..." "Forget it." "Listen..." " How'd it go?" " Don't." " Jackson..." " Just don't ask." "We got to come up with something to save this girl's voice." "There's got to be something, right?" "You want to talk about it, what happened with your dad?" "You know what?" "Maybe we could do a staged procedure." "I could excise the tumor now, and we could wait on a transplant donor." "No, it wouldn't work." "She'd need another course of radiation, which would make her a bad surgical candidate." "Yeah." "Yeah, we talked." "He talked, really... a lot." "About how hard it was being an Avery and... surgery and..." "Temporary stent." "Erosion and bleeding, right?" "Crap." "He was just so damn polite, and..." "What about, um, the animal studies?" "Okay." "Uh..." "I just kind of clammed up." "I didn't say anything." "Really, he was... just like... warm?" "I don't know..." "He was... happy!" "I definitely didn't picture him, like, happy without me." "He talked a lot, didn't say anything about me." "Nothing." "Talked about Mom's laugh, his stupid tuxedo, coffee." "I felt really stupid." "You're not." "Never occurred to me, all that time, that he didn't even..." "He really didn't even miss me." " You don't know that." " Oh, I do now." "I really do." "It didn't even occur to the guy to pretend otherwise." "How do you go up to somebody and tell them what an ass they've been when they're just smiling at you, talking about chicory coffee?" "I just stood there with my heart in my guts... or, guts in my throat... whatever the stupid expression is." "It's heart in your throat." "No, that's not it." "Yeah." "Yeah, it is." "There's something about guts..." "No, you feel it in your gut, but your heart's in your throat." "What?" "That's it." "She needs a valve." "Right?" "She needs something..." "Okay." "That's it." "What is?" "Her guts for her throat." "Maybe we can use her own guts for her own... throat." " We lost the transplant, okay?" " Okay." " We lost the vocal cords." " Yeah." "All right, so, what if... what if we just made her new ones?" "I mean, what if we just used Caroline's own intestines to create her a new valve?" "She's already got an ileo-cecal valve here, right?" "I could use her attached appendix, and... and I could build a vocal tube." "And she'd be her own donor." "Literally be putting her own guts in her own throat." "That's still not the expression, but do you think it'll work?" "No." "I mean, maybe." "Yeah." "Okay." "Well, which one you want to go with?" "Yeah..." "I don't think so." "Well, we've examined all the risks." "We feel like the benefits outweigh them." "Yeah, the parents have consented." "They both want this." "It's never been done before, and if something were to go wrong, or..." "Well, that is exactly where the magic happens." " Okay, it's never been done before." " Mm-hmm." "Until we do it." "Like today." "Like right here." "Don't you want to be a part of this magic, Steve?" "Don't you want a place at the table when we turn that young girl's stomach into an actual throat?" "When we make history?" "Well, I-I..." " At the table?" " At the table." "At the table." "I..." "I-I still don't know if I can get approval." "Yeah, well, luckily, you don't have to." "I'm sorry?" "It's my name on the hospital." "As an Avery, I officially grant us permission to make history... together." "At the table." "Exactly." "She is gonna do great." "Dr. Kepner and I will be sure to update you as soon as we can." "I am giving you as much love as humanly possible because you're her doctor... and I believe in you." "Thank you." "You just make sure she comes back alive." "You hear me?" "If we were back at home, we'd have a full gallery, a webcast." "I can't believe nobody's gonna see this." "I'll see it." "Ah, Dr. Corridan, join us." "Good luck, doctors." "Here we go." "Scalpel." " ♪ Ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh - ♪ No" " ♪ Ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh - ♪ No" " ♪ You'll never go further - ♪ Can't turn me around" "This is gonna work, right?" "We did it." "Damn right you did." "I am so tired, I could drop." "And yet I am so awake." "That was..." "I know." "Oh, don't even bother." "They'll let us know when she's awake." "It's gonna be a couple hours, anyway." "In that case, um..." "I'm gonna go sleep." "Like the dead." "Yeah." "Unless you think we should go check back in on the patient." "No, no, I think you're right." "I think we should rest." "All right, we should... go do that, then." "Sure." "No, great." "That's a good call." "Okay." "What?" "I'm just thinking about our track record in hotels." "What about it?" "I know why my mother sent you." "Wanted me to have some backup." "She must've figured I was... probably gonna see him and knew better than to try to talk me out of it." "She wanted me here." " Just in case." " That is so..." "Catherine." "I was gonna say infuriating, but, yeah." "Jackson, I know what a good father is." "I've had one my whole life." "You are a good father." "You took us both in." "You took care of her when I couldn't." "And you haven't stopped taking care of either of us since." "Even with everything that's happened between us... you never bailed." "And he couldn't do that." "You came here to tell him something." "Don't leave till you do." "Hey, hey." "Sit, sit." "I got something for you." "I can't stay long." "Uh, we're headed out." "I can make you something for the road, if you want." "I just came to say goodbye." "Okay." "Listen, I'm really glad you came by." "Maybe next time, if you're..." "Yeah, I don't think there's..." "gonna be a next time." "Okay." " Jackson, listen..." " I have a daughter." "Her name is Harriet." "Harriet." "Jackson." "Wow." "That is wonderful." "I'm a grandfather." "No." "No, you're not." "My mom's a wonderful grandmother, and... and you seem like a decent guy." "But you're not a grandfather." "You're not my father." "And I figure, when you have a kid, you're making a promise." "And I don't break my promises." "That's the real difference between you and me." "Look, Jackson..." "Take care, Robert." "I'm really glad that I met you." "Goodbye." "Freezing." "Choking." "Getting tongue-tied." "There's a reason it happens." "Take a deep breath now." "Take your time." "Okay." "Take your time." "I..." "Ma..." "Hi..." "Mama." "We lose our words because the stakes are so high..." "Hey!" " Mommy and Daddy!" " ...and we have so much to lose." "Yeah!" "And there she is!" "Thanks, Grandma." "Everything go okay?" "Yeah." "Good." "Jackson said I could get a ride home?" " Oh, of course, of course." " Yeah?" "Come here, little baby." "Good girl." "Hi!" "Thank you." "Oh, please, that's what grandmas are for." "No." "I mean..." "What?" " What, baby?" " Just..." "Thank you, Mom." "For everything." "We're petrified of saying too much or saying it wrong..." "You ready?" "Let's go home." "...when the truth is, the only wrong thing you can say is nothing at all."