"A day is dawning in 1966" "This is the simple, traditional entrance to my grandmother's house, where I lived until I was 3 years old" "Five seconds from now, it will become avant-garde" "What's up!" "Hurts!" "Why'd you drink so much again!" "Hey, hey, Eiko san!" "Eiko san!" "Get off me!" "You're still up!" "You'd wake anybody up" "This is my Mom" "Tiny!" "Run to Daddy's room." "He'll behave in there" "Don't grab my stomach" "Just go to bed" "Get off me!" "Godzilla!" "I told you not to grab my stomach!" "Tiny..." "I'll paint this someday" "I can paint this a little better" "I got you something good" "Here" "Good, right?" "Make a face like it tastes good" "This is my Fujica Single 8" "And this is my Dad" "He's the same person as the slightly creepy young man in the photo" "The Tokyo Tower, behind him, then about as half-baked as my father's taste in clothes, when finally completed in 1958, was 333 meters tall" "Even today, decades later, it still stands at the heart of Tokyo and Japan," "as centered as the pin of a spinning top" "These days," "I find myself staring at Tokyo Tower from very close by" "This is the modest story of my father, who got knocked down and kicked out by Tokyo, all the way back to his hometown" "It's also about me, who came here and lost a place to go home to" "It's also about my mother, who never had any illusions, but was dragged here anyway, and unable to go home or return, found her eternal rest at the foot of Tokyo Tower" " Mom  Me, and sometimes Dad " "Fujica Single 8" "I can shoot that, too" "Great" "He was just feeding him yakitori?" "They don't fit his mouth" "This is me and Mom and Dad" "This is my last memory from when we lived together" "That's when Mom moved us out of my grandmother's house in Kokura and into my grandmother's house in Chikuho" "You can pass, you can pass" "Who's narrow path is this?" "This path belongs to the gods" "Won't you kindly let me pass..." "Mom!" "Your mom's mom" "Here we go" "This is where I was born" "Tasty" "Thanks" "Eiko!" "You're back!" "Been a while" "Hello" "Welcome home, Sister" "Hey, Ma, you've grown just a little" "We'll have a feast tonight" "See you later" "It was an old, small, mining town, served by a single-track railroad, making 8 trips a day, running in the red" "Hardly like Kokura, which had been a metropolis" "It's a crayfish, a crayfish" "Run it over" "Run the crayfish over!" "In this dead end town," "I had totally lost it" "Got it!" "Now it's a frog" "Run it over!" "Run the frog over!" "Now it's a rabbit" "I may have lost my mind, but I still had some sense left in me" "Life is precious" "Are you working again, Ma?" "You woke up?" "I always feel better when you work" "You sure have a strange body" "It's a children's illustration" "There sure are all kinds of work" "I can't make ends meet with just one line of work" "They'll scold me if I don't finish today" "What's funny?" "Even as a kid you were scolded a lot" "You were always being scolded" "Look who's talking You were scolded a lot, too" "Who would scold me?" "I'm the top of the pyramid" "I'm ready" "All right, game" "Oh, no, she got me again" "What's with her?" "Cards is one thing I can't beat you at" "You need 10 more years before you can beat me in cards" "Shut up!" "I can't sleep!" "I've got the morning market" "Then, let's just drink" "You're not supposed to laugh, Sister" "What's with your face?" "Hello" "Ma, Ma..." "I finished the illustration" "How rare, you were fast" "Slowly but surely, I'm improving" "I stirred your pickle brine for you yesterday" "Oh, Tamami" "And this is for you" "Thank you so much" "Nakagawa san, your radio appointment..." " But I just realized you're a writer..." " Let's go" "You're on the radio, too?" "Behind the scenes" "What channel?" "I don't talk" "What channel?" "FM?" "AM?" "I don't talk I'm going" "What's there to do on the radio but talk?" "You'd be surprised" "I'll be back tomorrow about this time What can I bring?" "Nothing, I don't need anything" "We'll be back" "Isoyama san, Tamami, thank you" "Bye" "He should talk..." "Yes, yes, yes." "We're driving there, now" "And about next week" "You're getting the test results, soon, right?" "Yeah, they'll determine, whether to operate and remove it or rely on chemotherapy" "Chemotherapy is painful, isn't it?" "Yeah, it is" "Of course it is." "It's doing the impossible" "Whatever deal Mom and Dad had made, on long school vacations," "I was sent alone to the house in Kokura" "You... only draw pictures of ships" "And it's always the same drawing" "I don't know what it looks like from the front" "How very unusual" "White is good, right?" "Yeah" "This good?" "Done, right?" "What?" "Why?" "You're almost finished" "Clean up the mess" "I'm going drinking" "You're almost done!" "I have no idea why he never finished the ship" "But among all my memories, that was when he was most fatherly, and I know I was thrilled" "Thanks" "Thank you" "Tasty, this is good You're always a great cook" "It's easy to simmer fish" "You know how to cook it not mushy My wife's is always mushy" "You think?" "Yeah, yours isn't mushy" "Welcome" "Welcome back, is this seat OK?" "The usual?" "Sister, a plate of simmered fish and a red wine" "Oh, I'll do it" "Where to?" "Where are you going?" "Um..." "Want to come, too?" "Let's go, I want to go home" "Stay there and play" "The game will start" "Did you press the start button?" "Thank you so much" "Can't you thank him?" "I'll be right back" "Around and around, I looked for Mom" "Around and around" "Around and around" "Mom!" "Let's go home" "Why are you stirring the pickle brine now?" "You're up?" "Yeah" "Counting backwards from breakfast, the pickles taste best if I stir the brine now" "Your pickles are the best" "Of course they are" "This brine has been in the family for over 100 years" "That man from yesterday..." "Ma" "Do you like your Dad?" "Yeah" "I figured" "I started middle school" "Maybe Mom didn't want to rely on Grandma forever" "She moved us to a different house" "Hello, I'm Nakagawa" "Um..." "This will be your room" "Thank you" "This is like a hospital" "We don't have a choice" "We can't borrow a room at Grandma's forever" "Where's the bathroom?" "Mom!" "Mom!" "What's with you?" "You're such a chicken" "What's wrong with you?" "Live here?" "You joined the baseball team?" "All I do is get hit" "What did you expect?" "I hadn't seen Dad in a year" "How's your mom?" "She quit the diner and works at home now" "Piecework?" "The pay's lousy, right?" "But she just bought me a guitar A Morris" "On lousy pay?" "What are you doing these days, Dad?" "You mean for work?" "Architect" " Nakagawa" "Dad was living alone, then" "Yeah, yeah" "I want to wait it out a little longer" "So, can you start with the large room?" "What do you say?" "My son's staying with me" "Take whatever you want" "If you moved, you need stuff, right?" "Just a TV" "Take that one, over there" "Hello" "The hell!" "There's real deadlines and there's fake ones!" "Need anything else?" "Um..." "What?" "Is there a woman?" "What?" "Fujica Single 8" "I'm rolling film, do something" "Hey, there's no film" "What?" "Take it" "But I don't have a projector" "I don't either, take it!" "In the course of my life," "I've never met a man so utterly free" "Sometime after finishing 8th grade," "I began to have two strong desires" "I wanted to go somewhere other than here and I wanted to set Mom free" "By that time, smoke had stopped pouring out of the giant smokestacks of the steel factory in Kokura and the mines in Chikuho" "To me, everything made by adults, everything I could see, seemed to be going downhill" "Whatever lasts forever, is what everyone desires without question" "But if it's not eternal, everything is an illusion" "With my high school exams ahead of me," "I made up my mind to leave this town" "Come in boss, we've got nice girls" "Check out the girls, stop in" "Oh, you're Na san's son" "You're so cute." "How old are you?" "I'm 15" "See my tits?" "No" "Did you come to play?" "I came to study" "Study?" "Study tits?" "No" "Cut it out." "You're scaring him" "They're scary, my tits are" "Na san, what are you making him study?" "This kid says he wants to try to get in to the Art High School in Oita" "So I thought I'd teach him how to draw" "What?" "Why go so far away?" "It's best for men to start their travels young" "Start drawing this" "I'll check in on you later" "This?" "Yeah" "God, I'm sick." "That baldie won't give up" "Who are you!" "A helmet?" "Yes" "What's a kid doing here, drawing a helmet?" "He's my kid" "What a shock, so he's your kid" "Yes, sorry" "No, your lines are too weak" "Give it here" "Like father like son" "Despite my father's half-assed tutoring," "I did..." "Make it into high school" "Check your ticket one last time" "I have it" "Take good care of yourself and study hard, OK?" "Yeah" "Can you wake up in the morning with no one to wake you?" "I swear I'll get up" "Do your best" "To Masaya" "From Mother" "In that letter, she wrote nothing about herself, only endless words of encouragement for me, with great conviction" "The thing is, I had this dream No idea what it was" "For some reason, in this dream," "I have relations with this lady who's my relative" "And when I spread her legs," "I have no idea what I'm seeing" "It's a dream" "But it's a fish face" "A sardine's face..." "He's on a roll, but it's time for a break" "We can't have his mother hearing this stuff" "Yes, it's better she doesn't" "Why did Mom... start laughing when I only pushed the start button..." "You're so drunk" "OK, OK, I'm fine" "I understand how you feel but you're drinking too much" "Who asked you?" "Don't tell me you understand" "Which program are you on?" "Dad said he'd visit." "He called" "Really?" "What?" "When?" "Sunday" "My hair's a mess I haven't been to a salon" "Don't bother" "No" "I can't see him with my hair like this" "All right, I'll see what I can do" "High school life in Oita" "My first time living alone" "My Mom's words proved prophetic" "I was totally comfortable in my depravity" "Please go out with me" "If you'll get baptized" "Baptized?" "Lmpossible if you're not baptized" "You'd better start by reading the Bible" "Otherwise Sunday dates are impossible impossible" "During those 3 years," "I was snubbed by a Mormon girl..." "Naito" "Nakagawa" "He's late again" "Hiraguri, go wake him up" "Sure" "Hurry up" "I found a new friend, Hiraguri, who was a little unusual" "Hurry up!" "Bring him here" "C'mon, let's go" "And all we really did, was spend the money Mom sent, puffing our way through packs of cigarettes" "Thank you, Hiraguri san" "See, you look years younger" "I wanted you to come over for dinner one last time" "What a shame" "Don't talk like that" "The only reason my son graduated was because of you" "No, I was able to graduate because of him" "The deadline for Nyan-nyan?" "Oh, that again" "Illustration and text for Queen Kong?" "All right" "I'll be back in touch" "Going home already?" "I'm sorry, I wanted to stay with her longer" "I just..." "Let me pay you" "No, really, it's fine" "Don't" "Nakagawa san" "About the test results, please go see Dr. Hirai, tomorrow afternoon at 3PM" "Yes" "I'm sorry" "I'm sorry" "I know it's toughest for you" "Thanks" "Ma" "If you don't have anything to do, take the vegetables to Granny's" "Back from Oita, studying for my college exams," "I secretly dreamed of going to college in Tokyo" "I'll leave 'em here" "Granny, is that all you're eating?" "I'm alone, this is fine" "Come inside" "Forget it, come" "Can I really just leave Mom behind?" "You've had 3 years to think it over, but no answers" "Thinking it over in the country here, won't get you anywhere" "Go to Tokyo" "There's all kinds of people there" "Go see everything there is to see" "Your mom won't stop you" "I'm home" "I waited for you, Go ahead, eat up" "Why such a feast?" "You're trying for a college in Tokyo, right?" "Get your spirits up" "Yeah?" "But I don't know what to eat first" "Doesn't matter which" "Tasty" "Let's eat, then" "Chicken rice, sushi rolls, condiments, shiso-flavored rice cakes tempura, broiled fish, simmered vegetables, turnips, cucumber, pork miso soup..." "The next year, I made it into a university in Tokyo" "Every spring, young kids from all over Japan got swallowed up by Tokyo, like so much dust," "sucked in by motor of a vacuum cleaner" "The dark narrow hose was a tunnel to our dreams and the future" "But the other end of the tunnel, was still a dust heap" "You hang in there, Mother" "Cheers!" "It was so dusty, I could hardly breathe" "The motor kept churning" "We went around, banging into each other" "Around and around," "Around and around" "Hey, Hiraguri" "Nakagawa!" "Why are you in Tokyo?" "I..." "Listen" "Loan me 2,000 yen" "Not getting into college," "Hiraguri had taken over the family beauty salon" "When he saw Flashdance, he became obsessed and moved to Tokyo, dreaming of becoming a dancer" "Of course he ran out of money, and moved into my place" "How was it?" "Yeah, it was really lively" "Oh, I see, now that you're job-hunting..." "Have you been in touch with your dad?" "He says let's go drinking when I'm back in Kokura" "But the thing is..." "What?" "For the past 4 years," "I basically did nothing" "Shocked?" "What do you mean?" "At this rate, I can't graduate" "What's that?" "Why couldn't you work harder?" "I don't have to stay back, I can just drop out" "Not graduate" "Why..." "Why couldn't you work harder?" "Sorry" "Hello" "I'm going to start a restaurant" "What?" "A restaurant?" "Someone I knew ran a restaurant by the river, but now I can just take over running the place" "I'll hang in there 1 more year, so you keep going to college until you graduate" "Can you do it?" "Oh..." "Yeah, I think I can" "All right, stay back a year" "So, I lived off Mom for another year, somehow managing to graduate" "I didn't land ajob after graduating, and Hiraguri gave up on becoming a dancer, but we both clung to life in Tokyo" "This looks great" "Hello" "Hello" "It's your Mohican's fault" "It's your fault, you're unemployed" "You're unemployed and have a Mohican You're a double-loser" "Where do you work?" "A publishing house" "Oh, I see" "Which publishing house?" "It's a small company, called Kodansha" "Oh, really?" "Even I know that publisher, it's really important" "Oh, Kodansha..." "Let's see now..." "Nakagawa san" "Nakagawa san!" "Are you there?" "You owe 3 months' rent" "Nakagawa san, Nakagawa san" "Nakagawa san!" "Paradise Loans" "The days passed by, as slack as a stretched out rubber band" "The only growth were was the number of loan sharks I owed" "Who's that?" "Takamizawa of The Alfee" "I see" "What do you want to be?" "An illustrator" "Wow" "The man from Paradise Loans is on the phone again" "Sorry, please tell him I'm not here" "It's all right that you're never here?" "Seems fine to me" "Be confident" "OK, I will" "Can you pass this?" "Sure thing" "Thanks" "Where's my fried chicken?" "Right up" "Sorry to keep you waiting" "Ita, did you find work?" "That place isn't for me" "Oh, right..." "Graduation Certificate Nakagawa Masaya" "Excuse me" "Hello?" "What's with you!" "You never answer your phone!" "Mom, listen," "I'm sorry to ask again but I'll pay you right back" "Money?" "Um, yeah" "I sent it" "Listen, your grandmother's not well" "Yeah, my sisters are watching her tonight, but she won't last" "Thanks" "Thank you" "Come home" "I figured you were broke so I sent you the train fare home" "Yeah..." "Don't tell me you already spent that, too" "I went to visit my sick grandmother, just once" "See the 1,000,000 yen there?" "Use that 1,000,000 yen to buy yourself a pot" "I'll give it to you" "Buy yourself a pot" "What's wrong, Nakagawa san?" "Oh, sorry" "What'd you come to Tokyo for?" "I win" "Grandma died." "Come Home" "You don't have any money do you?" "I need train fare" "C'mon, don't go" "I know it's a terrible time, but I just can't make it" "You can't keep paying rent for both of us" "Can't we just hang in there together a little longer?" "You're down and out now," "But you've got talent" "Hang in there" "I..." "I can't take it anymore" "New Age Fair" "You're from that art class" "I'm so hungry..." "I can't take it" "Hey, how have you been?" "Where are you?" "Sorry, I don't have enough change to talk for long" "I can't reach my mother" "Your mother's hospitalized with cancer" "She nearly lost her voice" "Hey!" "Are you listening?" "It was just a small cancer on my thyroid" "They said my vocal chords would be fine, so I let them operate" "I'll have to be on hormones that rest of my life, but I'm lucky I saved my voice" "The operation tightened some wrinkles" "What really upset me back then was having to give up my restaurant" "But you really hung in there, Mom" "You really hung in there, all on your own" "But some things are beyond Hanging in there" "Don't talk like that" "Why look, it's 3 o'clock" "The test results will be ready" "The nurse told you?" "Yes, go talk to the doctor" "Sure" "May her condition be operable..." "Come in" "No loan shark would talk to me, and even illegal dealers turned me down, but somehow Enomoto and I managed to cough up the security deposit on a room in Omotesando" "Enomoto" "I'm going to work" "Maybe in reaction to years of slacking," "I started drawing and writing" "Sorry to keep you waiting Yours will be right up" "And Mom didn't give up either" "Hey, this is good" "Nakagawa, you can write erotica, want to write a column?" "Sure, I will" "Yeah, you're right" "You're definitely right" "But you hear that a lot" "Like instant fried noodles are actually just steamed" "They don't get fried at all, you just pour water over them..." "I had my hands full living day to day" "Nothing in my life felt secure" "I took any job that came my way" "Moon's out, moon's out, moon's out, it is..." "Eiko san, you came back" "Yes, hello" "Yes, it's been a while since I heard this song" "A package from your son" "See you" "Wow" "30,000 yen more and we're debt-free!" "Hello" "Hey, Mom" "When did you find the time to write a book?" "I haven't read it yet but you're doing great" "I'm so happy" "I'll read it carefully" "There's nothing in it worth reading carefully" "Oh, I'll buy a beeper soon so you can reach me anywhere" "Don't you worry about me I'm moved back to Grandma's" "I'll always be home" "What?" "Why?" "The diner fired me" "I keep going to the hospital I take too many sick days" "There's still some cancer on my vocal chords" "I thought you were completely cured" "There's still a small cancer that needs treatment" "They need to keep it under control with radiation therapy" "I see" "But your book will raise my spirits" "Thank you so much" "It's a real book" "Wonder how much it'll make" "Sister, time for a drink" "Here's to Maestro Nakagawa getting out of debt, getting off part-time work..." "Don't forget the important thing" "And to the opening of your bar, House of the Rising Sun" "Cheers!" "Next thing I knew, life had improved a little" "Even Hiraguri had found his way and opened a bar" "I always believed in him" "What do you mean Believed?" "I'm just barely out of the red" "Do you know how many people in Tokyo stay in the red all their lives?" "Welcome" "We showed up as promised" "Thank you" "You really opened it" " Impressed?" "C'mon in" " Oh, thank you" "May I sit here?" "Sure" "It's not so unusual" "Meaning?" "And I found a new girlfriend" "I talk about Mom a lot, don't I?" "Sure, why?" "Isn't it depressing?" "Not at all, what a funny question" "I don't have a mom so I never tire of it" "I wonder if she'd come" "What do you mean, come?" "I wonder if she'd come to Tokyo" "To live with you?" "But it's not like she's divorced my father, either" "But your mother, I'd like to meet" "Really?" "Because it's obvious she'll be sweet" "What?" "No, I just feel so happy" "My happiest moment since coming to Tokyo..." "Weirdo" "Do you really want to meet my mom?" "It's really all right to go?" "Is it really all right for me to go to Tokyo?" "Yeah, sure, it's fine, you should come" "Thank you!" "Bye, then" "Right" "What'd she say?" "Are you really sure it's all right?" "Yeah, it's fine, you should come" "That means I'll live with you, right?" "That's right, that's right" "Maybe I'll go, then" "Um..." "It's fine that you're coming, but..." "Your father?" "Your father's living with another woman" "He's been living with her a long while, now" "In that case..." "In that case, you should live in Tokyo until you die" "Moon's out, moon's out, moon's out, it is" "Moon's out over the Miike Mines" "The smokestacks are so high, the moon must be all smoky" "If you really, really feel that way" "I'll make up my mind, to leave you" "If you give me back the 18 year-old girl, I once was" "I'll leave you" "Wait here, OK?" "Mom" "Sorry" "The station's so big" "We're going to live in this town" "Yes" "We're going to live together forever, OK?" "Yes" "Fifteen years after I left my mother's side at age 15," "I wound up living with her again, in a nondescript building in Tokyo" "You moved for me?" "I feel bad" "What are you saying?" "This is just the prologue" "Time for me to pay you back now" "What's that?" "There's a bowling alley downstairs" "Oh, this is it" "Here it is." "As long as I have this, there's nothing to fear" "There it is, that smell" "Pickle brine..." "Dear" "Are you sure it's all right for me to live here?" "Right or not, you're already here" "When I die..." "Don't sound so morbid You're not going to die" "You can just live here forever" "In that case," "I hope you'll take good care of me" "I'll take you to all kinds of places you've never been" "Sounds like a strike ball down there You'll get used to it" "Don't you worry about me" "Good evening" "Smells so good" "Tonight is curry and tempura" "A nice combo" "A gift for you" "Let's put it in the curry You're so thoughtful, Mizue" "Hey, check this out!" "A rabbit!" "Cute!" "Why, Dear?" "I suddenly remembered my pet rabbit when I was a kid" "What's this?" "The white one's Bread, the black one's Grape" "I'm allergic" "You're so weak" " To rabbits?" " You OK?" "OK, time to eat" "Thanks for the food" "All my friends gathered in our kitchen, seduced by Mom's cooking" "And Mom befriended them, one after the other" "Mom cooked rice for 10 people though only the two of us lived there" "In the old days, they had places called Dance Halls" "That's where we went to dance" "That's where I learned to dance" ""QUISAS, QUISAS, QUISAS"" "That's where you met Dad" "That's true, but..." "He couldn't dance" "Tell us more" "He seduced you?" "That's so hip" "Your father had come by himself and just kept staring at me" "That's creepy" "That's right, so I went to scold him, but he apologized so sweetly, and bought me a drink" "I don't remember our conversation, but I guess I gave him my address" "A few days later, without saying a word to me, he brought over a betrothal present" "What!" "Cool!" "I was so shocked, I just nodded" "But enough of my story" "I want to hear what's going on with you" "You don't need to hear about us, we're just fine" "How about you?" "I'm not..." "Mom, you bought me that bed the other day, but you must be out of savings" "It's all gone" "What about your pension?" "My pension..." "After things got tough I couldn't make the payments anymore" "I had to give it up" "I see..." "I spent all my savings and everything on this" "This is my entire estate I've got nothing else" "I've lived here a dozen years, but never been up to the observation deck" "You either, right?" "I bet it feels great up there with the beautiful view" "Too late now, I'll bring you next time" "I'll look forward to it" "You come, too, Mizue" "Yes, the 3 of us" "I bet we'll get a discount" "A group discount?" "They don't give discounts for 3" "You're right" "I felt like things were moving in the right direction" "And as usual, everyone around me kept coming to eat Mom's food" "The happy times sped by, leaving sweet echoes behind," "like a bell rolling down a hill" "How were the test results?" "He said they can't operate" "I'd better tell Mom" "Can I be there with you?" "I see" "So they can't operate on me?" "They say you're not quite strong enough" "Gastric cancer is the same kind that killed that news announcer" "It won't be easy but we have to try, so they'll put you on chemotherapy" "Right" "Try everything that might work" "I wonder if it'll work" "A vaccine cured some people" "It's not government-approved, but you should try it" "It must be expensive" "Don't you worry about that" "Mom, let's hang in there" "If something happens to you, it won't just make folks back home sad" "How many friends have you made in Tokyo?" "All of us love you, Mom" "Do you know how impossible that is?" "I wonder..." "Maybe I should try..." "Will you try the chemotherapy?" "The chemotherapy..." "Yes" "When I asked her what she wanted, she asked me to bring my graduation certificate" "She was smiling" "What an amazing person" "Thanks for being there" "I couldn't have encouraged her that much alone" "You haven't told her we split up?" "No" "She still thinks we're getting married" "Before you came today, she gave me this" "The ring your dad once gave her" "Oh, I see" "I don't know, if it's right for me to keep it" "Please, keep it" "Um, that..." "You can wear it and not wear it" "Weirdo" "Good morning" "Morning, Mom" "Morning." "Did you bring it?" "Yeah" "But don't put it out, it's embarrassing" "Of course I won't" "Hey, Mom" "No, nothing" "If you've something to say, say it" "Dad's coming" "He's coming all the way from Kokura but I can't do anything for him" "You don't have to" "It's been so many years" "I'll go meet him" "OK, be careful" "When do they start the chemotherapy?" "Day after tomorrow" "Can you take it?" "Can I smoke?" "Nope" "I have to meet a real estate agent" "A real estate agent?" "For what?" "Thinking about you recuperating at home," "I figure I might as well find a bigger place" "I'm off, see you" "You know, my hair's grown back" "That hair-growth drug actually works" "That's wonderful" "I'm having trouble swallowing food these days" "You're keeping your doctor's appointments?" "He says he'll take X-rays if the drug doesn't work after a week" "Right" "Have him take a look at you" "I threw upjust a little yesterday" "I guess it's my stomach" "Maybe it's metastasized" "Don't worry so much" "You can't keep getting cancers like that" "I know my own body best" "I often worked late or stayed out all night drinking" "Conversations with Mom became strictly business" "We had gotten used to this and were simply numb" "It's been 7 years since Mom moved to Tokyo" "Grape, the rabbit, died on the veranda" "It's grown quite big" "His tone of voice was of casual surprise" "And now," "Mom was about to start her final hospitalization" "This is the gastric cancer" "Remember to feed Bread while I'm in the hospital" "Animals can't talk" "I feel so bad about Grape" "He must've been so lonely" "And after I die..." "You won't die" "If something should happen to me, you open that box up there" "What is it?" "Don't open it now" "What is this?" "When did you do this?" "Open this after I die" "This was the first time" "I was leading Mom by the hand" "You can pass, you can pass" "Who's narrow path is this?" "This path belongs to the gods" "This is how a hospital at the foot of Tokyo Tower became my mother's final residence" "Illustrator, columnist, and disc jockey" "What exactly do you do?" "I'm ajack of all trades" "Ajack of all trades?" "You're going to live with your mom?" "Yeah?" "The rent's high Sure you can pay it?" "It won't be a problem" "It gets lots of sunlight Your mom will like it" "I know it belongs to you, but this may be the last house my mother and I live in together" "That's it" "It's yours to rent" "Hello, it's me, I found a tenant" "No, no, that's fine" "Excuse me" "Your mother went to the shop With her husband" "Oh, I see" "We don't need so much" "Not to worry" "It's not for you to eat" "Oh, thank you" "This too, and this?" "Oh, thank you, that's enough" "Dad went home the next day, and then Mom started chemotherapy" "I feel... sick" "Mom" "Are you OK, Mom?" "Maybe Mom had an especially bad reaction, maybe others suffered equally" "But her suffering was far beyond what I had imagined" "In pain, suffering, yet Mom never asked to stop it" "Mom was desperately trying to stay alive" "The second round of chemotherapy took a real toll on Mom's body, already weakened by the first round" "How long?" "How long will this go on?" "Mom..." "Mom..." "You're hanging in there, but what am I supposed to do?" "You're a grownup" "Think grownup thoughts" "I want to stop" "I want to stop this, Ma" "Let's stop" "Let's stop this" "You worked so hard" "It's not like the old days There must be other treatments" "You want to stop it?" "Yes" "She's got 2, maybe 3 months left" "After the chemotherapy," "Mom temporarily regained her strength" "Can I put this here for now?" "Sure, fine" "You'll be able to work and take care of your mom here" "Yeah" "Time for lunch" "Over here" "The cherry blossoms are in full bloom" "Really..." "Already cherry blossom season" "Thank you all for coming" "We made it here all right, but the subway's hard to manage" "The map's just shows a bunch of lines snaking around" "We brought your favorites" "Don't spread that out here" "Can we take your mother to the hotel we're staying in?" "Sure, it'll be a nice change for her" "Let's take this" "Enjoy yourself, Mom" "I'm off, then" "Don't you worry" "It's been so long" "Hey, Bread" "Hello?" "Hi, Auntie, how's it going?" "She vomited?" "Guess you enjoyed yourself a little too much" "Mom" "When..." "Did you come back?" "Me?" "I've been here a while" "It's so much nicer being at home" "Yes, but..." "Listen, Dear" "There's some sashimi in the refrigerator, and there's also some eggplant miso soup on the stove" "Heat that up and eat it" "Eggplant miso soup..." "Mom..." "What are you saying, Mom..." "Mom" "It's snowing" "Eggplant, you know..." "It snowed that day, though it was already the season for cherry blossoms" "It was like an April Fool's joke, when you never know what's true and what's not" "Look, an omelet Mom-style" "They moved Mom into another room and as of that day, I slept on a cot in her room, to nurse her every night" "Here, Dad" "Feels like we're all back at home" "I'll still be here when it's his turn" "Thank you" "Mom was no longer able to eat any food" "If you're going home tomorrow, why not sleep near her tonight" "How much does that room cost?" "40,000 yen a night" "You can afford that?" "Amazing" "My hair's grown back, from that hair-growth drug" "Right" "Your mom," "may not make it" "Daddy" "Daddy" "What is it?" "Need the toilet?" "The radio" "The radio, radio" "The radio" "Ma's show Thursdays from 1:00 - 1:30am" "It's like jerking off with Devil's Tongue" "Miso's a favorite, now" "Wow, Miso Devil's Tongue?" "Miso masturbation?" "Disgusting" "These days, they recommend the combo" "The combo?" "The combo miso Devil's Tongue masturbation" "What is this?" "Have you been listening to this all along?" "If you've got any jerking off tips, send them my way" "So, it's time for a tune" "I dedicate this to someone I love QUISAS, QUISAS, QUISAS" "The night that Dad was to head home," "Mom was in pain like never before" "You'll be OK, calm down" "Do you recognize me?" "You'll be OK" "Does it hurt?" "I feel so bad, I just feel so bad" "I'm so sorry" "What is it?" "A sudden change" "Her vitals?" "Blood pressure 146 over 103, heart rate 138, oxygen saturation is 91" "You'll be OK" "Give her an oxygen mask" "A shot of tranquilizer" "In her side tube?" "That's fine" "What are you saying, Mom?" "What, Mom?" "What is it?" "The phone for you" "Your publisher has to talk to you now" "Give me a break!" "Now's not the time!" "Be quiet" "We gave you some medicine" "What happened?" "A turn for the worse" "It suddenly occurred to me," "Mom didn't want Dad to leave" "Eiko!" "Hemostatis" "What are you doing, Mom!" "You can't do that!" "Be strong, Mom!" "Be strong!" "It's me, can you tell?" "Eiko!" "Mom!" "Eiko!" "Mom!" "Don't die!" "Dad, Dad" "Mom's awake" "I'm sorry, Mom" "I don't know what you're saying" "But I know" "You're worried about us, right?" "You don't need to worry anymore, now" "You're saying, Thank you?" "What's wrong, Mom?" "You were so strong" "You don't have to worry, now" "You were so strong" "Mom" "What do you think of the house?" "It's big, right?" "It fits about as many people as Grandma's house" "Nakagawa san" "About a column deadline..." "Hello" "I hear your mother passed away" "When was it?" "This morning" "I'm sorry for your loss" "You called me at the hospital?" "I know this is a bad time, but we can't push this deadline What do you say?" "What do I say?" "Does it have to be today?" "Tomorrow and we have to print blank column" "Could you write, staring at your mother's corpse?" "I don't need to write today" "You should write" "I hardly have any time left with you" "It's not the time to write a stupid column" "You don't want to cause trouble for that man" "Write" "But they're going to burn you soon You're going to disappear" "Didn't I tell you before?" "You don't remember" "When you're working," "I feel better" "This is my last chance" "Show me" "You just watch, Mom" "I'm going to make you laugh so hard" "My writing will be funnier than anyone else's" "I'll leave this here" "Thank you" "Please" "Hey, Bread" "Bread?" "Lts name is Bread" "But it's a rabbit" "I see your point" "Done" "Fast!" "I'll go fax it" "A drink for you" "Tamami" "Would you like to inherit my mother's 100 year-old pickle brine?" "That's, too much for me" "Right" "Then carry on her routine" "All right!" "I'm so sad, so sad!" "I'm going to drink, too" "There's an illustration, that goes with it, right?" "OK" "Everybody, drink and carry on" "So that Mom can hear you upstairs" "OK!" "We'll drink!" "Tamami" "Mom" "I'm really..." "Wiped out today" "Sorry" "Can I have a moment?" "A while ago," "Mom told me" "The first year she moved to Tokyo, you took her all over the place" "and fed her lots of great food" "She felt like in that 1 year, she had a lifetime" "of being looked after by her son" "I never told you that" "OK" "That's all" "Dad, here" "You're the chief mourner" "I won't make a speech" "The chief mourner will address the assembled mourners" "Eiko... and I..." "That day," "I saw Dad cry, for the first time in my life" "I'll be back to observe her first mourning rites" "Want to see this?" "She left it to you" "I'll say good bye to the rabbit and go home" "Dad" "When you get home, can you send me your drawing of Buddha?" "As soon as I finish it" "It's nearly done" "See you" "Open this after I die" "To Mizue san" "Dear Ma" "Thank you for all these years" "I so enjoyed living in Tokyo" "I failed in my marriage, but I was blessed with a sweet son, so I can die happily" "You were a sickly boy and cried a lot, so when I prayed to the gods, it was first for your health" "And also that you'd be open-hearted" "As you grew up, your health still came first but also business success" "These days, I'm greedy and pray for you and your girlfriend's safety" "She really felt like my own daughter" "She made me so happy, calling me Mother, mother, like she really meant it" "I'm so very fortunate to be able to bid good bye to life in a state of happiness" "Good bye, Ma" "Mom" "Let's climb it together, just like we promised" "Mom" "I'm still sad, now" "I can't believe how much of your hard-earned pay I begged off of you" "My work situation is a little better, but my life's hardly settled" "I still bring people trouble I've a long way to go" "I've hardly made any progress" "Sorry I'm late" "Where's Mom?" "Amazing, right, Mom?" "Amazing" "It's a little late, but it's from Mom" "Mom, you wrote me Good bye but you shouldn't have" "You'll always be my mother, I'll be your son" "Don't talk like that" "Mom," "I'm so sorry for everything" "And thank you" "Mom, it's a beautiful day, today"