"Grandma Bettie ripped up the Fancie's check." "I broke up with Davis 'cause I still love you." "I wasn't the only person who went to the dock that night to tell you that they loved you." "Lavon was there, too." "I may have told him I'm still in love with him." " Are you?" " Yes." "Crickett:" "It's time you knew the truth." "I'm gay!" "Would you maybe want to get dinner with me sometime?" "I'd love to." "How would you two like to raise a baby goat?" "Oh!" "Tansy:" "Meet my brothers." "Rudy, Rocket, and the scruffy one's Chicken." "You are the love of my life." "Please give us another chance." "Zoe:" "We're doing this, huh?" "Oh, yeah, we are really doing this." "Having a baby." "Hey." "Hey." "Did you see the news?" "Because the weather report calls for heavy rain." "And me without my umbrella." "(gasps)" "Come here." "W-We're gonna do this here?" "'Cause... this is a restaurant, get the occasional customer that might be surprised to find you and me doing..." "No one is coming, okay?" "'Cause everyone in town is at the talent show, trying to win that money." "And yet I'm the one who seems to have hit the jackpot." "Spin, Julius." "Spin." "Spin, boy." "Yes!" "Come, come." "Spin, spin!" "Thank you, Rose." "♪ Me, may, ma, mo, moo. ♪" "I just came to wish you good luck." "Oh, you can't say "good luck" before a show." "What about Hamlet's ghost?" "Oh, gee, I..." "Oh, it's fine." "I believe that if you've got talent," " you don't have to worry about curses." " (Chuckles)" "So I'm fine." "Okay." "Thank you for being so sweet." "Oh." "And for bringing me these chocolates." "They didn't have a note, but I knew they were from you." "You're welcome, but I didn't bring those chocolates." "And now, ladies and gentlemen, the act that I..." "I mean, we have all been waiting for, the incredible Shelby Sinclair." "(crowd cheering)" "♪ ♪" "♪ Come on, babe, why don't we paint the town ♪" "♪ And all that "jath" ♪" "(slurring): ♪ I'm gonna rouge my knees ♪" "♪ And roll my stockings down ♪" "(choking): ♪ And all that... ♪" "(crowd murmuring)" "(gasping):" "Allergy." "It must be the chocolate." "Oh, my God." "Come on." "This way." "This is an act of sabotage!" "Can you believe this?" "An actual crime in bluebell." "Lavon:" "We thought this day would never come." "Good luck, Bill." "Oh." "Right." "I am an officer of the law, and I say... everybody, don't move!" "Hey, you know what?" "I'm happy." "Well, good." "'Cause I worked pretty damn hard last night to put that smile on your face." "Shut up, you bonehead. (giggles)" "What I'm trying to say is these past six weeks with you have been really good." "Yeah." "Yeah, I concur." "So what do you think?" "Think we're finally ready to tell people we're an item?" "What?" "No." "I mean, come on." "It's just... we're in this perfect little bubble, just you and I, and I love that bubble." "Yeah, me, too." "But George, Lemon, Lavon, A.B... you know, they'd be thrilled to know that we made up, let alone that we're together." "I know." "It's just that once they know, then everyone knows, and they start butting in, and then... pop!" "Soap everywhere." "Well, I don't care if they know." "I-I want to take my woman out, on a date, in public." "I want to kiss her for all the world to see." "I want that, too." "Eventually." "Look, who would have guessed, Wade, that-that after everything that's happened, things would be so good with us?" "You know, can we just give it a few more days?" "Yeah, yeah." "You know, it is pretty hard to resist a woman who holds her pants together with a rubber band." "Hmm." "Don't worry about them." "I'll be taking them off." "I would like you to rotate the post 60 degrees, so that the face of the sign catches the light during the golden hour." "Thank you." "Yeah, I hear that's prime selling time." "Lavon." "So you're really gonna do it, huh?" "Fancie's is your dream." "Yes, well, Clyde at the bank is breathing down my neck, and I don't have the money to bring my loan current." "So, unless you know of a legal way for a girl to make $20,000 by tomorrow," "I'm pretty much donkey butter." "I could give you the money." "As a-a loan, of course." "But why on earth would you do that?" "Because... because, you know, uh, BlueBell needs Fancie's." "For tourism." "For fine dining." "(chuckles)" "For the occasional food cleanse after eating at the Rammer Jammer all week." "It's a public health issue." "Thank you... for the offer, Lavon." "But you know I can't accept." "Okay." "Well, y'all still have to pay for the damages." "(groaning) However," "I did convince him to drop all criminal charges." "Yeah!" "(laughs)" "But, boys, next time you decide to go mud-dogging, try not to use a judge's car." "More good advice." "You're a genius, bro." "Freaking genius." "Let's give him the bumps!" "Oh, no." "No, no, no." "No bumps." "Let him go." "You are not giving George Tucker the bumps." "Whew." "Thank you." "Thanks for doing this." "My brothers may be nincompoops, but they're still my brothers." "I'm always glad to help." "How have you been?" "Good." "Uh, Scooter and I moved back to Fillmore." "And I finally saved up enough for a chair in a salon." "I'm set to start next week." "Well, congratulations, Tansy." "Of course, now I'll probably have to use the money to pay Judge Perkins for those nitwits' damages." "Ah, I'm sorry, Tansy." "I-I wish I could help." "I know." "Well, I got to get to a town meeting, but..." "Okay, well, thanks again." "Yeah, good to see you." "You, too." "Hey, Daddy." "Hey, baby." "Do we have any idea what this meeting's about?" "Well, Lavon has some sort of news." " As do I." " Oh." "Shelby is coming into town this weekend." "She found a sitter for baby Ethel, so for the first time in ages we are flying solo." "Daddy, listen, I am so glad that you are happy, but that woman is like a walking tire screech to me." "Hey." "Oh, honey, what's the matter?" "I found out why Jaysene hasn't called." "Oh, well, it'd better be because she was in a coma and lost her memory." "I mean, it's been months." "There's no excuse." "Apparently, she found out I'm still married." "Oh." "Well, I could see how that could bother someone." "So, I suppose I'll have to divorce Stanley." "Hmm." "You think?" "Wanda, it's the final straw." "Laszlo ate my entire desk chair." "That goat has to go." "I thought you loved Laszlo." "I do, but he's so destructive." "Maybe a goat isn't a great pet for a baby." "Well, maybe a baby isn't a great pet for a goat." "That... (clears throat)" "Folks, good afternoon." "And good news." "Now, last year, we set aside an emergency fund during all that unpleasantness with Fillmore." "Yeah." "But now that the town merger is off the table, we will no longer be buying road signs that say," ""Now Entering Fart-more."" "(laughter)" "So, we have a surplus... of $25,000." "(crowd cheering)" "We can finally get new plants for the gazebo!" "A publicly-funded Pilates studio." "Those signs would have been something." "There are many worthy places in town that could use this money." "So I've decided we should designate it in the best BlueBell tradition... by adding it to the prize pot of the annual talent show!" "(crowd cheering)" "Annabeth:" "Hey, hey, hey." "This is great." "I need an emotional victory, and you need the cash." "Yes." "So, I say you, me, Crickett... we whip up our old Dreamgirls routine." "We can't lose!" "This is... extraordinarily fortunate." "(excited chatter)" "What'd I just say?" "Nobody move!" "(whispering)" "(clears throat)" "But first, let's all go down to the Rammer Jammer." "(crowd grumbling)" "All right, y'all." "Come on, now." "Let's go." "(crowd grumbling)" "All right, come on." "Pipe down, people." "Now, a crime has been committed." "Sheriff Bill wanted a secure crime scene, but, well, the senior center needed the theater to rehearse their production of Oh!" "Calcutta!" "So we had to move in here." "But come on, now, let's move these chairs." "But why us?" "Why are we here?" "You know, that's a good question." "Because, Mr. Mayor, here in this very room are gathered the only people who could have committed this crime... the only people with opportunity, motive, and the dastardly minds of hardened criminals." " What now?" " That seems a bit harsh." "And as God as my witness," "I will use my heretofore untapped powers of deduction and unmask this villain even if it takes me all night." "(quietly):" "Did he just say, "all night"?" "(car horn honks)" "(seagulls calling)" "(birds singing)" "All right, good news, people:" "Shelby's gonna be just fine." "(crowd sighs) Bad news:" "she will be pressing charges on whoever's responsible for this." "Shocking." "First witness." "Rose, the chair." "The truth, Ms. Hattenbarger." "I was hired to do light and sound for the show, but I needed a quiet place to study for SATs during rehearsals, so I sat up in the rafters outside Shelby's dressing room." "And while you were there, did you see anything suspicious?" "I saw some people enter her dressing room when Shelby wasn't there." "Who did you see?" "Wanda, Stanley, Rudy Truitt, and AnnaBeth." "Bill:" "And you're sure you saw these suspicious individuals?" "Rose:" "Well, I didn't say they looked suspicious." "Bill:" "Just answer the question." "Yes." "I'm sure." "(sighs) That was close." "Yeah, what... d-did you hear Sheriff Bill?" "How we could be in here all night." "Let's just go out there, we'll tell them we're together, and then we'll go home and get to watch some TV." "No." "Look, th-this will be fun, okay?" "We-we can sit." "Huh?" "Yeah." "We can listen." "Like a radio play." "Since when are radio plays fun?" "Since this is a mystery, and Wanda is the leading suspect." "NCIS:" "BlueBell." "I call Mrs. Wanda Long to the stand." "Tell me, Mrs. Long, why were you in Shelby's dressing room?" "I'm not sure." "I can't recall." "I don't know!" "I'm pregnant!" "I want my lawyer." "George?" "Sheriff Bill. (chuckles)" "I mean, come on." "Wanda?" "I-I'm sorry, but are we sure that it's the chocolates?" "Of course it was the chocolate." "Brick said that Shelby ate some right before she went on stage." "And Ms. Sinclair has a known allergy to red dye number 40." "It's... something in food." "It m-makes it red." "I think." "So, exactly when did you give those chocolates to Shelby?" "George:" "Objection." "Leading the witness." "And why in the world would Wanda want to hurt Shelby?" "Wanda:" "Good point." "I have no motive." "We must win this talent show." "The money could buy us a barn for Laszlo, and boom, problem solved." "Luckily, we are shoo-ins with our magic act." "I just need to work on my magic tricks." "Up high!" "Down low." "Boop." "(both chuckle)" "I need to ask you for something." "That's so funny, 'cause I need to ask you for something, too." " Really?" " Yes." "I was actually hoping you'd bring it up first." "(sighs) That's such a relief." "I was a little nervous there." "Me, too." "So you'll give me a divorce?" "What?" "I was gonna ask you to do the talent show together." "You want a divorce?" "Well, I'll do the talent show with you first." "Okay." "I have some ideas." "Brick:" "Well, frankly, th-they have much, much more in common than Lemon realizes." "Mm-hmm." "You know, I-I don't want to further antagonize things, but I-I just don't see any other choice." "Either I go for it or just let them fester and never ever have my daughter and my girlfriend be friends..." "Yeah, that would be bad." "Brick:" "It's decided." "I will sign Shelby up for the talent show, and they can bond over their love of the theater." "Yeah." "Wait, what?" "!" "No, no, Brick!" "That's not what I meant." "Lavon." "I know what you are up to." "This is just another way for you to try and give me that money." "Lemon Breeland, I am the mayor of this town." "I hope you're not accusing me of rigging a contest." "(scoffs) It is rigged." " It is not." " (Gasps)" "But if you, A.B. and Crickett do your old Dreamgirls number, should be a lock." "Thank you." "It's a very good number." "Mm-hmm." "See, that was a date." "No, that was a good time." "That was a really good time." "But that was, uh... that was not a date." "(stutters) You're..." "Don't worry, because your vision test came out all clear there, Wade!" "You don't have to yell, Doc." "My hearing's fine, too." "Annabeth:" "Oh, Zoe, your hair's a little..." "That's because Wade and I were in there, and I tripped..." "Hey, no offense, Zoe." "I do not have time to talk about your hair." "I have to figure out how to tell Lemon" "I accidentally told Brick to ask Shelby to do the talent show, so..." "Everybody, stop." "I need a physical right away." "I think there's something wrong with my hand, because my sleight of hand, it just... it isn't sleight." "Tom, we've been through this." "You have to check me again." "Also, your shirt is on backwards." "What?" "Oh, Zoe, I-I'm sorry, but I need you to take my patients this afternoon." "I got to go help Shelby rehearse." "Nobody cares about my hair or my shirt." "Does anyone know someplace local where I can find a pair of character shoes?" "Dancin' Feet on Davis Street in Mobile, but they close at 2:00 on the second Thursday of every month." "I need, like, a magic box that makes people disappear, or a magic saw, or a wand, or..." "I'll be right with you." "(clears throat)" "Hey." "Meet me at the gazebo at 5:00." "That's right... a public place, my friend." "Bye." "George:" "Okay, so this is your song?" "Uh, "Making Moonshine with Me and My Brothers""" "It's a song and a business plan." "♪ Some folks say that they like wine, and that is really fine ♪" "♪ But we all know that the way to go ♪" "♪ Is home-brewed blue moonshine ♪" "ALL: ♪ We're the brothers Truitt ♪" "♪ We can't undo it ♪" "♪ We were born this way ♪" "♪ So listen up and try our fluid... ♪" "Whoa, whoa!" "The heck are you doing, pretty boy?" "Uh... harmony?" " Are you crazy?" " Are you fixin' to wreck us?" "Y'all be smart." "George is a really good singer." "Band's called the Truitt Brothers, not the Truitt Brothers and George Tucker." "It'll confuse everyone." "And it won't fit on T-shirts." "Okay, I'm sorry." "Maybe I'm the one that's confused." "Uh, if y'all don't want me to sing, why did you ask me to come here?" "Tansy said that you was our new manager." "Your what?" "Your new what?" "Just for this one show?" "Oh, no." "No, no." "Not your manager." "Fine, fine." "I will offer you one piece of advice." "We only take advice from our manager." "Not your manager." "We got a manager!" "Nope." "So what's your advice, manager?" "From what I could hear, Chicken at least can carry a tune, so y'all might want to let him sing lead." "That's it." "He's as good a manager as he is a lawyer." "No." "Two-trick pony, two-trick Tucker." "Crickett Belinda Watts, that traitor." "I cannot believe that she would rather perform with Stanley than us." "Well, there's also one teeny-tiny other thing you might want to know." "Shelby is entering the contest." "What?" "!" "No!" "Shelby is the best singer that this town has ever seen." "Oh, but she's been off in Montgomery, mommying, socializing." "I'm sure she is out of practice." "Rusty." "♪ Hold on, hon, we're gonna bunny hug ♪" "♪ I bought some aspirin down at United Drug ♪" "♪ In case we shake apart and want a brand-new start ♪" "♪ To do... that... jazz... ♪" "Oh, yeah." "So rusty." "(singing continues)" "(gasps) I got to go." "Go?" "Go where?" "We're supposed to be on stage next." "She was gone for an hour, but Wanda wouldn't do it." "I know it." "Again, I ask..." "Wanda, where were you?" "I don't want to say." "You poisoned Shelby." "I didn't!" "Then where were you?" "(bleating)" "Laszlo ate Shelby's costume;" "I had to go fix it." "(sobs)" "Uh, let me get you a drink, Tom." "Oh, also some fries, if you have them." "I'm eating for two." "D-Did you hear that?" "They're eating my food, they're drinking my booze." "We need to get out there." "No." "We'll send them a bill." "All right, just calm down, okay?" "Relax." "You know, what if... what if we make this interesting?" "I'll bet you a ten-minute foot rub that it was the Truitts." "I don't know." "Stanley is pretty squirrelly." "You're on." "Now, shh." "I want to listen." "Bill:" "All right, everybody come to order." "Stanley, I need you up on the stand." "Yeah, um, guys?" "I-I just want to say... it might not be the chocolates." "Are you the sheriff?" "No." "Okay, AnnaBeth, you really need to stop talking, because it's making you look guilty." "Wait." "You aren't, are you?" "This is all a big misunderstanding." "So, you're saying that you weren't in Shelby's dressing room?" "No." "That is to say..." "Did I hear there were fries?" "Bill:" "You've had it out for Shelby ever since she passed you over for a starring role in her cabaret." "That's not true." "I have nothing but the utmost respect for Shelby." "♪ We'll play it fast and loose... ♪" "No wonder she gets her own dressing room." "She needs a place to store that ego." "♪ Right up here is where I store the juice ♪" "♪ And all that ja... ♪" "Dash, can we take the low end up ten DBs?" "Well, of course, Shelby." "Whatever you like." "Well, I'd like a bubbly beverage." "Rose, a soda for Ms. Sinclair." "Uh, Rosie, sugarplum, will you make sure that that soda has no red dye number 40 in it?" "I am very allergic to red food dye." "Makes my throat swell up like a little frog." "I'll be damned if I let that interloper swoop in and take first place." "This is our year." "And I know just what we need to win." "How sweet!" "What is?" "Well, Stanley wants you back." "He wants to win the contest to remind you that you make a great team." "He does?" "Oh, it's so romantic." "At least, uh, it would be if you weren't... a, uh, lesbian." "Crickett:" "He loves me." "He's always loved me." "Truth is, I think he would have done anything to win me back." "I didn't do it." "Crickett:" "He was gone for two hours." "When he came back, he said we were sure to win now." "Because I bedazzled my jazz shoes." "Bill:" "It does not take two hours to bedazzle shoes." "Uh, I don't think." "I..." "I had another "errand" to run." "Like injecting chocolate with red food dye?" "Okay, objection!" "Grounds?" "Oh, I'll give you grounds." "Rose saw Stanley with her own two eyes." "Well, her own four eyes." "Stanley:" "I didn't give Shelby those chocolates, I swear" "Then why were you in her dressing room?" "I can't say." "I'd rather not say?" "Fine." "Why, Stanley, you brute." "I knew those lashes weren't real." "I'm sorry, Crickett." "I never meant for you to find out like this." "Oh..." "But I have moved on." "You and Sadie?" "On the bright side, I'll happily give you that divorce." "Zoe, come on." "We've been in here for hours." "All right?" "Let-Let's go." "We can take this massage back to your place, have a bath, eat something besides Cheese Flavies." "I like Cheese Flavies." "Zoe!" "Wade, so we're locked in a closet naked." "You know, we've been through worse." "I don't understand why telling people about us is such a big deal." "It just is." "Anyway, this is all gonna be over soon, because it's the Truitts." "It's always the Truitts." "I don't know why they didn't start with the Truitts in the first place." "Why didn't I start first with the Truitts?" "Stupid, stupid." "No, no." "A good detective has some dramatic flair." "You just saving the best for last." "But what if they didn't do it?" "I don't think those boys could even read the label on a box of chocolate." "Yeah, maybe." "Well, maybe they had an accomplice." "Tansy Truitt, please step forward." "Yes, that's how he put it." ""A foolproof plan."" "♪ Some folks say that they like wine ♪" "♪ And that is really fine ♪" "♪ But we all know that the way to go ♪" "♪ Is home-brewed blue moonshine ♪" "ALL: ♪ We're the brothers Truitt ♪" "♪ And we can't undo it ♪" "♪ We were born this way... ♪" "Cannot believe I'm about to say this, but your brothers are actually pretty good." "Mama always said Chicken had the voice of an angel." "Yeah." "Well, if I was a betting man," "I'd say they got a pretty good shot at second place." "And that's $2,000, enough to cover the damages." "Which means I could keep my chair." "Oh, you are the best!" "Well, anything for you, Tans." "Look, George Tucker, please tell me you don't still..." "Oh, no." "Oh." "God, no." "I mean, not that you're not worthy of..." "I mean, you're still amazing and beautiful and all that." "I just, uh, I have a new policy:" "no new feelings for old girlfriends." "Rocket:" "Victory party tonight at our place, manager." "Spread the word." "(clears throat) Not your manager." "You know what we could do with 25,000 G's?" "Go to every state fair in the country and eat deep-fried everything all day long." "Okay, slow down, Chicken." "You might want to manage your expectations there." "I thought he was managing the band." "Hey, don't you worry, GT." "We gonna win for sure." "We got ourselves a foolproof plan." "(imitating explosions)" "Were those my words exactly?" "(scoffs) That depends." "What exactly do you mean by "exactly"?" "Oh..." "You just got lawyered." "George:" "They said they had to run an errand." "How long were they gone for?" "(exhales) I can't say for sure." "A few hours, maybe?" "The next time I saw them," "Rudy was carrying a package." "It was... it was about yay big." "Hey." "The hell you doing, Rocket?" "You're gonna damage the goods." "I said "catch."" "Meant to." "I think it'll still work." "Come on." "Zoe:" "How great is this?" "You, me, a couple of deviled eggs from the Dixie Stop?" "Mmm." "I think that this qualifies as a bona fide date." "In public, even." "Everyone is so busy getting ready for the talent show, no one even notices us." "So does that mean I can kiss you?" "You go right ahead." "Ooh!" "Rose!" "Hi!" "(sighs)" "I was just checking Wade for pinkeye." "And he's clear." "You guys realize that's not even remotely believable?" "Nothing's going on." "Are those Cheese Flavies?" "Oh, can I have some?" "My fetus goes gaga for Cheese Flavies." "I'm gonna need that back for studying." "Thank you." "Rose:" "I saw Rudy take a package into Shelby's dressing room." "(murmuring)" "What was in the package?" "It was dry ice for our act." "We were storing it in Shelby's fridge." "For once, the crime was committed by not us. (chuckles)" "Sheriff Bill." "Look, what say we, uh, call it a night, pick it up in the morning?" "I mean, people are getting restless and we're running low on fries." "No can do." "There's still one suspect left, and, for all I know, she might be a flight risk." "AnnaBeth Nass, please step forward." "We are never getting out of here." "Sure, we are." "There's no way AB gave Shelby those chocolates." "AnnaBeth Nass, why were you in Shelby's dressing room?" "Well, this is gonna sound bad... (chuckles) but I was in there... to leave her some chocolates." " What?" " (Crowd gasps)" "I swear on the life of Cyrus Lavinius Jeremiah Jones" "I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt." "But you knew that Shelby was allergic to red food dye." "Which is why I checked the ingredients first... there was no red dye." "So I suppose you just gave her a gift out of the kindness of your heart?" "Well, it seemed like the Christian thing to do, the way the day was going." "Annabeth:" "All that buttercream cannot be good for your vocal chords." "Or your self-esteem." "What's the use?" "We don't stand a chance against Shelby." " Hmm?" " Well, I mean," "I'll admit our run-through could have gone a little better." "Somewhere, right now, Diana Ross is spinning in her grave." "Or hailing a taxi." "I'm pretty sure she's still alive." "Brick:" "Hello, girls!" "Shelby tells me your act is really shaping up." "I think it is so brave of you two, forging ahead with a song that's clearly arranged as a trio." "Especially with all the money for Fancie's on the line." "Well, that's us." "Very, very brave." "Lemon, I don't want to see you lose your restaurant and all your hopes and your dreams along with it." "So..." "I have come up with a solution." "You're dropping out of the contest?" "(laughs):" "No, silly." "I'm gonna take my prize money and the savings from selling Fancie's last year and buy it back!" "What?" "And since I'm away so much of the time in Montgomery, I will hire you to be my manager." "You're welcome!" "Brick:" "Isn't that a great compromise?" "Both my special ladies running Fancie's, like it was a family business." "If you'll excuse me, I have to go." "W..." "L-Lemon." "I don't understand." "I am trying." "I just want her to like me." "You..." "Shelby..." "Annabeth:" "I felt so bad." "Brick looked so sad." "And he was right." "They needed a little push." "AnnaBeth!" "I shouldn't have done it." "But..." "I didn't poison her." "A likely story." "No note was found." "Um, Laszlo may have eaten it." "It is possible." "George:" "Okay, you know what," "I..." "I have a suggestion." "Mm-hmm." "Why don't we have someone test the chocolates, see if there's actually any red dye in them." "(murmuring) Oh, thank God." "Are you the sheriff, George Tucker?" "No." "But good idea." "Okay." "How long do you think it takes to run a poison analysis on chocolate?" "How should I know?" "You're the doctor." "(sighs)" "What are you doing back there?" "There's a situation." "What kind of situation?" "An "I have to pee" situation." "Zoe, this-this is a sign, all right?" "This is Mother Nature saying that it is time for us to expose ourselves." "Literally." "It's no big deal." "I'll hold it." "You have got to be kidding me." "Just don't talk." "Or bounce." "(quiet chatter)" ""Test the chocolates""" "You and your bright ideas." "Okay, look, if I would have known that he was gonna keep us here all night while he had them tested, I would've kept my mouth shut." "Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please." "Dr. Breeland has an update." "The lab tests came back, but the chocolates did not contain red food dye number 40." "Ah!" "Ah, see?" "And I am also happy to report that Shelby has made a complete recovery." "(excited chatter) Well, hallelujah!" "Let's go!" "We're going." "Not so fast." "Shelby Sinclair has been sabotaged tonight, and even if the vehicle wasn't chocolate, someone here is responsible." "Someone so desperate for prize money, she'd do anything to win." "What, me?" "That's preposterous." "I have done nothing wrong." "Then you wouldn't mind answering a few questions." "Just think dry thoughts." "Sand dunes." "Camels." "NPR." "Ironically, there is a bathroom less than ten feet away from us." "Not helping." "Scorched earth." "Burnt toast." "Would you please just go out there?" "No, I will not." "You don't have a choice!" "Yes, I do." "And how did it make you feel, knowing you were about to lose Fancie's?" "It didn't bother me at all." "Do you realize what you have done to me?" "Thanks to all of your meddling," "I'm about to lose Fancie's for good." "Okay, hold on a minute, now, you got a... a little something." "W-What's all this about losing Fancie's?" "Well, now Shelby has got it in her head that she's gonna buy back Fancie's." "Without that prize money, Lavon, I am finished." "This is insane." "People all over the world pee in buckets." "I will still love you if I see this." "But it may take me a while to recover." "Just go out there." "Please?" "No." "What is going on, here, okay?" "What is the big problem?" "The problem is... the minute we tell people, we're gonna get hit with the questions." "What questions?" "The hard questions, you know, the ones that we don't have answers to yet." "Like, who's gonna stay home with the baby?" "W-Where are you gonna live?" "Are you gonna get married?" "Don't even get me started on circumcision." "This is what all the secret keeping has been about?" "Yes." "Look, things are good with us right now." "Okay?" "Like-like, scary good." "What if we sit down to talk all this stuff through and reality sets in, you know?" "What if we can't figure it out?" "What happens then?" "We'll figure it out as we go." "What if we don't?" "For the last time, I did not put red food dye in Shelby's sweet tea or her breath mints or her stage makeup." "But you hate her." "So?" "I'm a Southern lady." "My methods of warfare are purely psychological." "Okay, okay, uh... stop talking." "Sheriff Bill," "I would like to, if I could, recall Rose Hattenbarger to the stand, please." "At any point, did you see Lemon Breeland go into Shelby's dressing room?" "Definitely not." "Thank you." "I examined Shelby, and I can say with confidence that her allergic reaction was caused by food dye." "Then if it wasn't the chocolates..." "Well, somebody must have slipped her something during intermission." "Bill:" "And, in your opinion, is Lemon capable of such a thing?" "I like to think not." "Daddy!" "I'm sorry, sweetheart." "I-I'm..." "I am under oath." "Aren't I?" "Listen, yeah, maybe we don't have all the answers figured out, okay?" "But we will, eventually." "Point is, it's nobody's business if we want to get married or-or live in a carriage house or feed our kids Cheese Flavies all day long." "The only important thing is that we love each other and-and that..." "Are... are you even listening to me?" "I know who did it." "I know who poisoned Shelby." "Bill:" "It's a simple question." "Where were you during intermission?" "I wasn't in the mood for socializing, so I just kept to myself." "Oh, that's awfully convenient." "Lavon." "I got your text." "What's so important?" "I want to apologize." "Now, I know you were counting on that money for Fancie's." "Th-That's why I turned the emergency fund into the prize money." "But I won't apologize for how I feel about you." "Lavon..." "No, no, please, let me just say this." "Now, I know how much AnnaBeth means to you, okay?" "She means a lot to me, too." "But, Lemon, I love you." "Everything I did today is because of that." "So please, let me just give you the money to rescue your business." "(phone chimes)" "Places." "They'll be wondering where I am." "As scintillating as all this silence has been," "I'm gonna need you to answer the question." "Where were you during intermission?" "Fine." "You leave me no choice but to take you down to the station." " Uh-oh, wait." " Zoe:" "Stop!" "It wasn't Lemon." "Shula:" "Dr. Hart." "Where'd you come from?" "Is she wearing a tablecloth?" "People, focus." "Lemon didn't give Shelby the food dye." "It was Rose." "(crowd gasps)" "The Cheese Flavies that you've been eating all day... well, they have red food dye in them." "And you were doing sound for the show, right?" "Thank you, Rose." "♪ Me, may, ma, mo, moo... ♪" "So some of the powder must have gotten onto Shelby's microphone, and mystery solved." "(crowd sighs)" "And yes, I am naked under here." "Huh." "Uh, in other news," "Wade and I are back together." "Woman:" "Oh." "Oh, and also," "I'm pregnant." "(crowd gasping)" "But right now, I really have to pee." "Y'all are paying for those French fries." "♪ No, I'm no one's wife, but ♪" "♪ Oh, I love my life ♪" "♪ And all ♪" "♪ That ♪" "♪ Jazz ♪" "♪ That jazz. ♪" "(crowd cheering)" "(clears throat)" "By unanimous decision, the grand prize winner of the bluebell talent contest..." "To no one's surprise..." "Shelby Sinclair." "Dash:" "Miss Shelby Sinclair!" "(crowd cheering)" "SHELBY:" "Thank you!" "Thank you so much." "I will use this prize the best way I know how." "Lemon, will you come up here, please?" "(chuckles softly)" "I know how you feel about me." "And I know how much you care about Fancie's." "I think you should have the place all to yourself." "I just hope someday we can be friends." "Take it." "(applause)" "♪ Brothers Truitt ♪" "♪ We can't undo it... ♪" "You thought you were in love with Lemon?" "(laughs)" "Oh, really?" "This coming from the girl that's about to marry to Scooter McGreevy?" "The heart is a mysterious thing." "(laughs) It is." "It is, but I have learned... a valuable lesson here." "And that is that I need to push myself outside my comfort zone." "I have faith in you." "Well, thank you." "Now, listen, Wanda, if the goat means that much to you," " we can keep it." " (Gasps) Oh, Tom." "Just so long as you realize how much naming the baby Frodo means to me." "♪ But we all know that the clink don't stink ♪" "♪ If you got something good to drink ♪" "♪ We're the brothers Truitt... ♪" "Hey, I'm..." "I'm sorry." "What I did..." "way out of line." "Honey, you were right." "I didn't give Shelby a chance." "And she isn't so bad." "Oh..." "I'm really, really lucky to have a friend like you." "Aw." "Ditto." "Have you noticed that the Truitts are pretty good?" "I know." "You think we should tell them?" "That song was for annabell Nash." "The woman I'm gonna marry." "Mm..." "On second thought," "I don't want to." "No." "No, I don't think so." "(whoops) Yeah!" "Nailed that." "Hey, you boys ain't half bad." "Thanks for noticing, fan boy." "That's why we took second prize." "Well, if you ever want to play the Rammer Jammer, I will hire you." "You want to talk business, you need to go through our manager," "George Tucker." "Uh, I..." "Are you..." "Are they... they serious?" "You're managing them now?" "I am gonna regret this." "Uh, you know what, why not?" "Yeah!" "(whooping)" "Chicken:" "We got a manager." "Lemon." "Okay, I-I know it's been a whole night of questions." "But I-I just have one more." "Lavon, don't." "No, I-I just want to know... if there weren't an A.B., would there be a chance that you would ever reciprocate my feelings?" "Well..." "It doesn't matter." "'Cause there is an A.B." "And there will always be an A.B." "Dash:" "How long you been keeping this a secret?" "Why weren't you using birth control?" "How y'all gonna manage?" "Are you guys getting married or what?" "Where y'all gonna live?" "One of you is gonna have to give up your job." " Which one?" " Private school or public?" "Natural childbirth or drugs?" "You ever thought about the name Dash?" "All right, all right, all right." "I got this, Doc." "Why don't y'all slow down, all right?" "Take these questions one at a time, starting with not you." "I beg your pardon." "Listen, I'm so excited about the baby." "If you're gonna live outside the city of Bluebell," " you're gonna be fine." " You need to start saving for college." "Shula:" "And maybe a big wedding." "But if you live in the inner city of bluebell," " well, I'll tell you right now..." " Dash:" "Maybe they'll be twins." "So sweet!" "I'm gonna tell you, if they look like Wade... ooh, Lord." "To come to medical school." "(excited chatter continues)"