"It's not just restaurants and actors that worry about bad reviews." "Working girls are subject to public opinion too." "Listen to this." ""Tanya is a stunning brunette with a great body and even better technique."" "Are all your clients easily pleased or just that one?" " Whore." " That's enough." "I'm seeing a new girl at two." "Speak now or forever hold your peace." "Nothing to report." "What?" " Nothing." " What?" ""This girl has a decent body but sadly she has no idea how to use it."" ""No amount of prodding on my part would persuade her to get even a little excited."" ""The word frigid springs to mind."" "Who listens to the critics anyway?" "42, architect, nothing kinky." "You interested?" "It's midnight, i was asleep." "That's no problem, it's an in-call." "You can stay right where you are." "I don't take clients in the middle of the night." "Really?" "If i was in your position, i don't think i'd be turning down any work." "What's that supposed to mean?" "You know when they said "All publicity's good publicity"?" " Yeah." " They lied." "Normally i don't interrupt my sleep for anyone." "Since my slating by the critics, work's been a bit slow." "If this goes on for much longer, i might have to start using public transport again." "Hello." "Hi, I'm Lewis, I think we have an appointment." "Yeah, come on up." " Hi." " Hi." " Come in." " Thank you." "I had a terrible time trying to park." "Yeah, it gets busy round here sometimes, but never mind, you're here now." "Oh, sorry." "Right." "Actually, i was gonna take your coat." "But we might as well get this out of the way." " Right, sorry." " Just relax." "Would you like to go through?" " Can i get you a drink?" " No." " Thank you, i'm fine." " Right." "Where you going?" "Just to make a call." " To who?" " A friend." "Why would you do that?" "It's OK, i'm just going to check in with the agent, tell her you're here, we do it all the time." "Why?" "It's... just procedure." "To keep us safe." " Us?" "You mean you?" " Yes, i mean me." "Just in case you turn out to be a mad axe murderer or something." "You've used that line before." " Course not." " Come over here." "I will once i've made a quick call." "I don't want you to call anyone." "i've paid for you, now come over here." "If i don't call the agency, they'll call me." "Did she tell you what i...want?" "Your boss, did she tell you what i asked for?" " Yeah, she..." " Good." "Please take your clothes off." " Listen i think..." " please...take your clothes off." " No, i think you should go." " I can't." "Yeah." "I really think you should go." "It's supposed to be my night off, this is all a big mistake." "Here, look." "Full refund." "You don't like me, do you?" "Of course i like you, i just need to get my beauty sleep, that's all." "You look all right to me." "Look, just go." "Did you hear me?" "i said go." "Sorry, i didn't mean to scare you." "You know nothing scares me." "Except poodles." "It's the fur." "It's too curly." "Not as scary as bloody weddings though." "Did you know that one of the first things people notice at a wedding" " is the shape and texture of the napkins?" " No, i did not know that." "Course you didn't, cos you're not mental." "Vanessa's been on at me about napkins all day." "Reckons they should be folded in the shape of doves." "Can you believe that?" "These are items used to wipe food off your face." "Why have they got to be shaped like doves?" "Yeah, why can't we all just use our sleeves?" "Yeah, exactly." "No one'll care about your napkins." "Well, i'm sorry my life's not quite as exciting as yours." "You know i didn't mean it like that." "All right, what you been up to today?" "It's all right, you can tell me, there's no children around." " What's wrong?" " Nothing." "Bollocks!" "Tell me." "No, doesn't matter." "Tell me." "It's just, this client got a bit weird." "Scared me a bit." " Did he hurt you?" " No." "Really." " Is that work?" " Yes." " Don't get it." " What?" "If that's how you talked to your client, no wonder he complained." "That client was a nutter." "What're you doing sending me guys like that?" "I thought you could handle it." "You've dealt with him before?" " Cleo didn't want to see him any more." " So you passed him onto me?" "Some girls are too sensitive for this work." "I get it." "You're just a pimp these days." "Well, that's good to know." "What a difference a year makes." "Look at you." "Pretty, beautifully turned out." "No need to be nervous." "Just gonna ask you a couple of questions." "First of all, A-levels?" "Yeah." "History, English, politics and general studies." "No." "I mean do you do anal?" "Oh, in that case, yes." "Yes, to anal." "Excelient." "Well, people get so bored these days, don't they?" "It's not good if you don't do anal." "You probably want to know a bit about me." "I am going to keep you safe." "I'm gonna be like a best friend to you, Hannah." "A best friend who takes 40% and doesn't tell you her real name." "D'you wanna see my dove?" "It's a bad dove." " That bloke could've really hurt you." " Well, he didn't." "Why can't you just admit you were scared?" "Anyone would be, Han." "I mean, look at you." "i bet he was twice your size, strange bloke in your fiat..." "I don't normally take clients in the middle of the night." " Then why did you?" " Cos i needed the work!" "It's just the way it is." "You get a bad review online..." " A what?" " The punters review us on the net." "You get a bad write-up and suddenly you're left with the dregs no one else wants." " And that's just how it is?" " In my line of work, it is." "You've lost the plot." "You need to get some perspective, Han." "See how normal people live." " Normal people?" " You know what i mean." " Sounds dead exciting." " Can't you just take a break?" "Please." "See what other people get up to." "For me." "A tenner says you don't miss it." "Ok." "Ok, i'm coming." "You're not gonna give me a ticket." "There's two minutes left on there." "You are joking?" "I'm not sure i like how the other half live." "I hope your mum's proud of you." "Hello." "You're very, very hungry and you're absolutely dying to have lunch with me." "Sorry, can't." "I thought normal people got a lunch break." "Not when they're meeting their vodka supplier who's always late and never invoices us on time, so i have to go through every box myself." "All right, i get it." "Another time." "Ok, bye." "Now i'm really desperate." "It's my sister." "Hi, Jackie." "Yeah, it's me." "Yes, really." "D'you wanna go out for some lunch today?" "Oh, mother and baby group." "What's a jamboree?" "Ok, well, enjoy that." "All right, bye." "Day one of Belie's break from work." "Guess what?" "I miss it." "So..." "Tim, hi." "What would you buy your best friend and his uptight fiancee for their wedding?" "Preferably something that looks more expensive than it actually is." "It depends." "Would the bride appreciate some elegant crockery she'll never dare use, or a pointless gadget she won't know how to use?" " Are those the only choices?" " I'm afraid so." "She once bought me an electric tin opener for my birthday." "Ah, Well." "So, she's a fan of the useless gadget." "You're not really into this wedding list thing, are you?" "Believe it or not, working here isn't exactly my life's ambition." "Let me guess." "A musician." "Artist?" "Well, i'm kind of..." "I'm kind of between ambitions at the moment." "Excuse me." "Now that i'm not working, i'll have to find something else to occupy my time." "More importantly..." "I'll have to start giving it away." "Morning." " Are you OK?" " Yeah, i'm fine." "I don't normally do this kind of thing." "Yeah, me neither." "I'm really glad i did." "I mean...wow!" "This bed's so comfy, i could lie here all day." "All day?" "Don't...don't you have work?" "Day off." " So, what've you got planned for today?" " You know...stuff." "Work?" "Actually, i don't work much during the day." "Really?" " What d'you do?" " I'm a night-time legal secretary." "Nice." "Er...how about i rustle up some breakfast?" "You're not really a legal secretary, are you?" "Pardon?" "Come on, who d'you think you're kidding?" "all those massage oils in the bathroom." "The only person who would need all that is a professional." "You're a masseuse." " You found me out." " I knew it!" " Why didn't you say?" " I'm just a bit shy about it." "Still in training and, you know, if you tell people you're a masseuse, they tend to assume that you're a..." "you know..." "Ah." "Well, if you ever need someone to practise on..." "A...pitted olive?" "I slept with someone last night and now he won't leave." "Can't you just tell him his time is up?" "No, you idiot, i didn't charge him." "That's the problem." "Oh, dear!" "You really do have something for everyone." "Yeah, some of my friends have really weird tastes." "Actually, i'm getting a bit hungry." "You know, so hungry it hurts." "Why don't we go and get some lunch somewhere else?" "Oh, Well, i mean, that sounds great, but i've got a few things to do this afternoon." "Oh, Ok, no worries." " I'm not just saying that." " I know." "Because i'm not, i mean, i really do have things to do." "This carpet for example, it's just..." "It's filthy." "Is this your way of telling me that you have a boyfriend?" "Oh, God." "Took you long enough." "Hi." "A friend of Hannah's?" "Yeah." " Who are you?" " Oh, i'm Ben, her fiance." "Shame." "I thought he was going to jump out the window." "So, have you gone back to being an amateur?" "Temporarily." "Is that just so you can have sex in the Olympics?" "Only if the government covers all my training costs." " He seemed nice." " Yeah, he was nice." "And?" "And..." "He was... normal." "No, i tried to be like everyone else, but..." "I'm just not the kind of girl who has a normal job and fucks normal men she meets in bars or in a wedding shop." "Don't ask." "But, i'm still me." "I'm still your mate." "I'm happy, Ben." "I love what i do, and i suppose this is my normal now." "So...you owe me a tenner." "We had a bet, remember?" "Oh, that." "Come on." "Cough up." " You really missed it?" " Really." "I'm going back to work." " You're sure?" " Abso-fucking-lutely." "Let's just hope i can find some clients who haven't read my bad review." "I used to think i knew everything about you." "And then out of the blue i discover you like Marmite." "I mean, our friendship can survive many things but that..." "Marmite." "That's disgusting." "Oh, for the love of God, don't come anywhere near me with that!" "Hannah, don't come any closer." "Don't be shy." "Calling to see if i've starved to death yet?" "Turns out, one man's shit sandwich really is another man's creme brulee." "My phone's been ringing off the hook with clients wanting you." "What happened to my roasting from the critics?" "The public are fickle." "Looks like you're back in favour." "Now, I've got a wonderful man lined up for you." "His name's Martin. 35-year-old corporate lawyer, sounds gorgeous over the phone." "And how did the last bloke you gave me sound over the phone?" " Well, I thought..." " I need to make something really clear." "If you do that to me again I'm leaving the agency... but not until I've told all the girls how well you really vet their clients." " Finished?" " Depends." " You have my word." " Good." "You can send the client round in an hour." "in fact, make it two." "I may have fallen a tad behind on the old beauty regime." "Thank you." "Don't thank me, thank the guy who wrote you that fantastic new review." "So, what do you think?" "One of my regulars, a secret admirer... or someone who just gets me?" "Belle is the kind of girl any bloke would be lucky to have." "She's smart, beautiful and she knows exactly what she's doing." "Anyone looking for anything rough or dangerous should go nowhere near." "Men looking for someone they can treat like a lady need look no further than Belle." "I hope you all treat her with the respect she deserves." "She's the best." "Some people might think that a person who's about to get married shouldn't be getting paid to have sex." "i can handle it if you can." "What if i don't fancy her?" "all male escorts use Viagra." "It's standard practice." "Two people, three sexual agendas." "His, hers, theirs." "The question is, are they compatible?" " You're very good." " The best." "You know how to make people feel good." "Come on, Hannah."