"Pair of scissors, Tristan." "Thank you." "Right." "Scissors." "Come on, man." "There's a good fella." "There we are." "Thank you, Lucy." "That should do it, major headingley." "She all right now?" " I think so, yes." "I'll look in in a few days' time, make absolutely certain." "Lucky we caught it in time." "Hear that, Deirdre?" "Will she be all right by November?" "That's what she wants to know." "She'll be sound for hunting, don't you worry, Deirdre." "Damn good of you to turn out so promptly." "Always a pleasure to come here, major headingley." "Beautiful horses, beautiful stables, and a beautiful daughter to boot." "Eh, Tristan?" "Oh, yes." "Yes." "Well, now." "How about a snifter before you go?" "Why not, sir?" " Good." "We'll be seeing you at Deirdre's coming out, no doubt." "Wouldn't miss it for the world, would we, Tristan?" " No, definitely not." "And a pound of the mixed biscuits, please." "A pound?" " Yes, they're delicious." "You know how you wolf them down." "What else do I need?" " I could do with a drink." "At this time of day?" "Whatever happened to your good intentions?" "I am must get some cheese." " I'm parched." "And half a pound of wensley, please." " Yes, Mrs. herriot." "You can have a nice glass of water when we get home." "Water?" " Yes." "Do you good." "Ready for the privations ahead." " The what?" "That'll be four and tuppence all together." "Thank you." "If there's a war." "Oh, I see." "Been listening to siegfried, have we?" "She's an awfully good sort." "She's no Hedy Lamarr, perhaps, but who wants that kind of thing?" "What I mean to say, is she's such a sweet young thing." "She's an enchanting character." "Her father is a master of the fox hounds." "You really ought to come out with us one day." "I think you'd enjoy it." "Thundering across the countryside, the feel of a powerful animal between your legs, the wind roaring in your ears." "Lungfuls of God's fresh air." "Oh, good lord." "It's so difficult, isn't it?" "Whichever one I choose," "I'm bound to find it's the wrong one when I get home." "Helen?" " Mmm?" "Excuse me." "Helen, do we really need another wooden spoon?" "You think I should get the ladle?" "Fine." "No." "Why don't you serve someone else?" "We'll be a few moments." "Mrs. hall has a wide range of kitchen implements." "She'd willingly lend you a wooden spoon, or a ladle." "If you got her on a good day, I daresay she'd lend you both." "Don't you want me to build a home for us, darling?" "Of course, I do, but-- - actually, I need both." "It's for jam making." "We can't spend the rest of our lives eating Mrs. hall's jam." "Why don't you just buy some?" "In jars." "If there's a war we won't be able to buy any." "If, if, if." "Why don't you just wait and see?" "I'm beginning to wish we hadn't taken the morning off." "You're not the only one." "Oh, look, James." " What?" "Oh." "I wonder who he belongs to?" "He must belong to someone." "Ah, there you are, you monkey." "Obviously not to him." "Morning, Mr. blenkiron." "Morning." " Morning, Mr. herriot." "It's a fine dog, that." " Oh, yes." "Been trying to get near him all morning." "Won't let anyone touch him." " Oh, really?" "Let me have a go." "He seems friendly enough." "Look, he's starving." " Don't frighten him, darling." "Mr. blenkiron." "Thank you." "There's a good dog." "Good dog." "That's the way." "Good dog." "That's it." "Not the best way to drum up business." "He's scared." "Probably been ill-treated by someone, then dumped when they got tired of him." "I'm afraid you're probably right." "There's some lovely folk round here." "You wouldn't believe the things we see." "Still, no need to look on the black side." "Probably escaped from someone's garden." "I expect they've got the search parties out for him already." "I hope so." "Bye." " Bye." "Bye bye." "Do you know who owns that dog?" "James, might I have a word?" "Yes, of course." "I'll..." "Here you are, darling." "Don't keep him long." "He's a tired man." " Oh, really?" "He's just discovered the rigors of being a vet are nothing compared to a heavy bout of shopping." "I should sit down, James." "Thanks, tris." "What is it?" "It's really a little bit dicey, actually." "You know the way siegfried seems to think I'm incapable of running my life like a mature adult?" "Does he?" " You know he does!" "Anyway, this time he's gone too far." "He's trying to pair me off with the daughter of one of his hunting cronies." "A really dreadful girl." "Who is it?" " Her name's Deirdre." "Not the one whose coming-out we're all going to?" "Mm-hmm." " Oh." "I hope you'll both be very happy together." "It's no joke, James!" "I need your help." "I can't possibly go to the wretched party." "How could I get out of it?" " You're exaggerating." "Siegfried wouldn't try and pair you two off." "Yes, he would." "I'll tell you why." "Her father's master of hounds." "Ah..." " I fear he wants to form an inextricable link between the two families." "Today's Wednesday and the do's on Friday." "That only leaves us two days to think of something." "You will try and help?" " Yes, all right, tris." "I'm not very good at that sort of thing." "Anything the matter?" "Yes, it's this hateful paper." "Honestly, I've licked so much of the wretched stuff" "I feel positively sick." "I really don't think I need do anymore." "That would be a pity." "It's really rather good." "It has a certain..." "How can I put it?" "You ever thought of taking it up professionally if all else fails?" "Do stop mucking about." " No, I think you may have found your forte at last." "We've obviously been wasting our time forcing you to cope with dumb animals." "If you don't want me to help, you only have to say so." "Anyway, if you ask me, the whole thing's a waste of time." "Is it?" " Everyone says there will never be a war." "Do they really?" " Yes." "And who might you mean by "everybody"?" "Old Mr. arkright, for one." "I was talking to him the other night." "And Fred Watson." "You mean the inhabitants of the drovers' arms?" "Why didn't you say so?" "I rest my case." "It's all very well to mock, siegfried, but they're no fools, you know." "They both fought in the last war." "They made sense to me." "The way they look at it is that, well, the Germans learned their lesson the last time, they're not gonna come looking for trouble again." "That's why they're threatening to invade Poland, I suppose?" "I don't know about that." "It's no use blinding me with facts, is it?" "Evidently." " Anyway, if there were a war, they'd never bomb up here, so why waste perfectly good sticky paper?" "Tristan, you astonish." "It's plain common sense." " It's that unerring knack of being able to put your finger on the heart of the matter." "I'm surprised Mr. Chamberlain hasn't sent for you ages ago." "It's tender, isn't it?" "Poor hamish." " Hamish?" "His grandfather was a scottie." " Oh." "Is it serious?" " It's an aural hematoma." "A what?" " An aural hematoma." "I heard you the first time." "Is it possible to tell me using the king's English?" "You're not familiar with the phrase?" "I was a teacher of English, Mr. herriot." "I'm not acquainted with double Dutch, though I have heard that some of the medical profession seem to love blinding their patients with science." "It's nothing to worry about really, miss westerman." "An aural hematoma is when the little blood vessels between the skin and the cartilage of the ear burst." "The blood flows out and thus causes disten-- swelling." "How dreadful." " No, not really." "What causes it?" " Canker, usually." "Now, has he been shaking his head a lot lately?" "Yes, he has!" "Ah." "Right." "Now..." "Yes, you see, he does have a touch of it." "It's not uncommon in this breed." "He shakes his head to try and get rid of it, and that bursts the blood vessels." "What am I to do?" " He'll have to have an operation, I'm afraid." "Oh, no." "What, here?" "It will be safer and a lot easier than at home." "Now, let me see..." "We can do..." "Here we are, yes." "If you could bring him in at 10:00 tomorrow?" "Tomorrow?" " Yes, please." "I am busy tomorrow." "I have a coffee morning at 10:30." "In that case, I can't guarantee to do it for at least another week, and I'm sure you wouldn't want the poor chap to suffer any longer than he has to." "There we are, old boy." "Good dog." "There we are." "Very well." "Come along." "We're going home now." "Good day, miss westerman." "Out of the way, boy." "James..." "Excuse me." "Sorry, hamish." "Good morning." "Wouldn't like to meet her in a dark alley." "What did you do to her?" " Nothing." "She obviously didn't like it." "We better make a very good job of her hamish." "Anyone else waiting?" "It's all clear." "Thank goodness." "We had most of darrowby in here today." "Now, miss westerman..." "That's 10..." "Can I help you?" "You haven't had any further thoughts about... "You know what"?" "The dreaded Deirdre?" " I'm sorry, tris," "I haven't had a moment to myself." "Excuse me." "There is something else." " Oh, really?" "What's that?" "Siegfried asked me to give you this." "He said there's no particular hurry as long as..." "Both these windows are done by lunchtime." "Yes, Mr. stokill, I understand." "Have no fear, I'll be out straightaway, goodbye." "Hello, James." "Busy morning?" "James?" "Very busy, thank you, siegfried, yes." "A particularly heavy surgery, after which I was delighted to be commandeered by air raid warden Tristan to decorate the surgery." " Decorate the--?" "What are you talking about, James?" "The lazy, lolloping, good-for-nothing-- you mean to say you didn't tell Tristan-- of course I didn't!" "Do you think I'd waste your time when there's that perfectly healthy creature bumbling about the house bubbling over with unused energy?" "Where is he now?" "Miles away by now, if he's got any sense." "Probably out with that ghastly barmaid from the drovers' arms." "What he sees in her beats me." "Which barmaid would that be?" "Oh, the most awful girl, James." "He thinks I don't know." "Hair like wire netting." "She must... coat it with gold paint at least twice a day." "Why can't he find somebody more suitable?" "Like Deirdre headingley?" " I wouldn't wish that on the poor girl." "She'll probably have enough to choose from on Friday." "Rather pleasant we've all been invited." "You'll like the headingleys very much, and it won't be bad for the business." "Shh!" " What?" "Don't do anything rash, siegfried." "Siegfried...!" "Yes, little brother." "I'm so glad to see you enjoying yourself." "We were worried." "Weren't we, James?" "Yes, very." "We thought you might have been overdoing things." "Wouldn't want that." " Jolly decent of you, siegfried." "You might find this hard to believe." "I've been checking the news for you on the wireless." "Just in case there are any developments, things of national importance." "Well, we must have a chat about that." "I didn't actually catch very much-- we'll have a chat about that afterwards!" "After what?" " Didn't I tell you?" "I've got a little job for you." "James is coming along, too." "How are you, Mr. stokill?" "Fair to middlin'." "It's only a little job." "I don't know what you brought these young fellas for." "We were just passing." "Where's the beast?" "There." "She's been on three legs a couple of days now." "I reckon she's got a bit of foul." "What do you think, James?" "Need to have a look first." "Tristan?" "Oh... right." "I agree with James." "On you go, then." "Pardon?" "Have a look." "Oh." "Right." "Just run her into the passage." "There's a good fella." "Right." "Mr. farnon-- later, Mr. stokill, please." "But I told you, Mr. farnon" "after her, Tristan!" "Go on!" "I said on the phone, she won't be dogged." "You have to scatter a bit of straw" "I remember your saying, but..." "I'll bear it in mind for future use." "It's no good." "She'll never go in there." "Why are you being such a flapabout?" "All you need to do is scatter a bit of straw." "Straw?" "Yes, down the passageway." "Never fails." "Isn't that so, James?" " Oh, yes." "Certainly." "Straw." "Swear by it." "Didn't you know?" "Perfect!" "Send her on." "All comes with experience, dear brother." "You'll learn." "Have you any idea why James and I have been ordered to eat down here tonight?" "If you don't want to, you've only got to say." " It's not that-- if there's anything wrong with my cooking-- of course not!" "It's delicious!" "If you want to stay upstairs, I don't mind." "Not at all." " No, it's just..." "I rather enjoy our little meals together." "We don't see much of each other as it is." "I know." "It's only right you should want to cook his meal for him." "But believe me, I was the same when we were first married, but after years of cooking day in and day out, you'll be down on your hands and knees praying for a time like this." " I suppose you're right." "Mrs. hall." " Mr. herriot." "Helen." " Hello." "I understand we're partaking of the festivities down here tonight." " So I believe." "Not festivities, James." "More your simple home cooking, I hope." "It's the siege mentality." "I've asked Mrs. hall to give us simple, nourishing meals that will fill our bellies without depleting our supplies." "Have you managed to do that, Mrs. hall?" "I'm not a magician, you know." "Good for you, Mrs. hall." "By the way, you two, I've decided you should share our table permanently from now on." "Oh, really?" " In view of the gravity of the situation, burning two stoves and heating two rooms is a needless extravagance." "You might have asked us our opinion first." "James..." " No, Helen, your husband's quite right." "I should have thought." "Please accept my deepest apologies, James." "Mrs. hall, you can reveal what's in that tureen." "I confess to being a trifle peckish." "What is it?" " Tripe." "It's very healthy." "Very cheap." "Anything wrong?" "No, no, no." "Is it... cooked?" "Of course not." "It's luddersfield tripe." " Ahh..." "Jolly wholesome meal, that." "Well, if you don't want it," "I'll take it down to Mrs. faggeter." "She'll appreciate it." "Mrs. faggeter?" " Aye, poor old dear." "Got hardly any money coming in at all since her Harold went." "Some people can't afford to pick and choose." "First-rate idea!" "Can't think why I didn't think of it myself." "As far as I'm concerned, she's welcome to my entire share." "I hope that more of us will be prepared to make such sacrifices in the future." "Absolutely!" "Have you got any jam, Mrs. hall?" "Oh, no..." "Where's Mr. farnon?" "I'm Mr. farnon." "I mean the proper 'un, not the junior." "We're a busy practice, we can't always guarantee who'll be free." "I promise you we're fully qualified to deal with all your problems." "Please, Mr. stokill." "There's some little pigs in this pen here." "Got a bit of scour." "I want you to give them a jab with your needle." "I'll have a look, shall I?" "James!" "Thank you, tris." " I could have told you that would happen." "I wish you had, Mr. stokill!" "She's a mite temperamental, that's all." "Just needs proper handling." "Seems you've got a lot of temperamental animals." "Not if you treat 'em right, young man." "Some folk don't seem to know how, that's all." "She'll have to be penned up before we can do anything." "I'll shift her for you." " No, you won't." "We'll do it." "Suit yourself, but don't say I didn't warn you." "Why don't we let him do it?" "That poor old man?" "He'll get eaten alive!" "Nothing mysterious about a sow wanting to protect her young." "Perfectly normal." "And she'll respond to normal methods." "I'll soon get her in." "Go on." "Over there." "Go on." "That's it, go." "Go on." "Good piggy." "Go on." "That's it." "Go on." "Over there." "No, over there!" "Oh." "Not still waiting, miss westerman?" "That's simply not good enough." "I shall talk to them about it myself." "They'll hear more of this." "I hope so!" "I would offer to look after young..." "Hamilton-- - hamish!" "Hamish." "But I am in the most dreadful hurry." "So am I, Mr. farnon." "I was told 10:00." "It's now 5 and 20 past, and I have a coffee morning starting in five minutes!" "I'm sure they'll keep the pot hot for you." "I am providing the coffee!" "Ah." "I'll see if Mrs. hall can rustle something up for you." "Oh, that's not the point." "If it's any consolation, miss westerman, it must have been something very urgent to delay them." "Barbarian!" "No, it's over there!" "Over there, pig." "Good piggy." "Over..." "That way." "That way." "Good piggy." "Come on." "I think Mr. stokill's got other ideas, James!" "What on earth?" "Out of the way, young man." "Right." "Now you can get on." "Tray." "James?" " Mm-hmm?" "You know what I said about not going to the headingleys tonight?" "Mm." " To be perfectly honest, I've got another reason-- for not wanting to go, apart from avoiding Deirdre." "Oh?" "What's her name?" " Lydia." "How did you know?" " It's not awfully difficult." "She's terribly nice, James." "I mean, not much up top, but great fun." "Not that blonde girl from the drover's arms?" "How did you know?" "Look..." "Don't tell siegfried." "He doesn't know a thing about it." "Of course not." "Needle." "Thank you." "So..." "What's the problem?" "I've sort of arranged to see her tonight." "She only gets one night off a week." "You'd better sort of un-arrange it." "I can't." "You can't miss Deirdre headingley's coming-out, either." "I know." "I... was rather hoping you'd come up with something." "Sorry." "I suppose I could just not turn up, plead loss of memory." "Or... tear a hole in my dinner jacket." "That's not a bad idea." "Let's face it, tris, you have got to go." "Just look upon it as business..." "Rather than pleasure." "Lydia's gonna be furious." "Busy?" "Matter of fact, I have been, yes." "How's the famous hingist?" "Hamish." "He'll be fine as long as I can get these buttons sewn on." "What a wonderfully clever idea!" "They're just ordinary shirt buttons." "That's so simple!" "Don't you agree?" "Oh, yes." "This is the stuff of real life." "This is stuff you don't learn from textbooks." "Observe and learn, Tristan, my boy." "That's why I'm here, siegfried." "Is it?" "Good." "So what are the shirt buttons for?" "Um..." "To distribute the pressure evenly, you know, over the ear." "Well done." "Why?" "To make the skin stick to the cartilage." "I'm not a complete idiot." "Indeed you're not." "Excellent!" "There's hope for you yet!" "May I have it back, please?" "What was that?" " The button." "Oh, yes." "Thank you." "I won't distract you again, James." "Thank you." " I promise." "Who had to deal with the dragon?" "I did, actually." " You haven't come out of it badly." "I've a way with elderly spinsters, if I say it myself." "Yes, and I hear with others not so elderly." "Do I hear aright?" "I've been meaning" " I wonder if we might talk later?" "I've just remembered a terribly important" "Here's to tonight, James." " Cheers." "Something wrong?" "No, just the thought of an evening spent with the hunting fraternity, all talking horses, 19 to the dozen." "Come away, James!" "You'll enjoy yourself." "I know you will." "The headingleys never sit their guests." "Frankly, I'd prefer an early night." "An early night?" "Can I believe my ears?" "My goodness me, James, you're a long time dead." "Don't stop practicing now." " Now, siegfried!" "I mean it, honestly!" "Next thing is you'll be taking a nap after lunch." "May I come in?" " Yes, come in." "Help me persuade your foolish stick-in-the-mud-- my dear Helen!" "What a beautiful frock!" "Don't sound so surprised!" "No!" "I didn't mean that." "If that doesn't convince you to enjoy yourself-- no, you're right." "Sorry." " That's better." "I'll leave you two lovebirds to yourselves." "Must have a word with Mrs. hall about messages." "I have a feeling we're all going to enjoy ourselves tonight." "Fiddling while Rome burns?" "No, James, I never fiddle." "I didn't mean-- don't worry." "What is it, darling?" "Siegfried's extraordinary!" "He can see the positive side to everything." "Well?" "Here you are, darling." "Voila." " Thank you." "Have you heard the news?" " No." "The government has signed an alliance with Poland." "What does that mean?" "If Germany invades Poland, we're at war." "I see." "So it's as close as that?" "It does make all this seem a bit pointless, doesn't it?" "No, it doesn't!" "Life has to go on." "And you do look beautiful, darling." "I can wait for all those jealous looks I'm gonna get." "Huh?" "Aren't you getting ready yet?" "I've been making sure hamish is all right." "Hamish?" "Oh, hamish!" "Sensible fella!" "Even I quail at the thought of another confrontation with miss westerman." "How is he?" "Oh, a bit groggy." "Apart from that fine." "When's she..." "Coming to pick him up?" "Sometime this evening, she said." "I trust you told her we'd be out?" "I didn't want to get us into her bad books." "There's nothing for it, is there?" "Just telephone and explain that plans have changed." "I can't do that." " Then I shall." "You can't!" "She's coming here straight from her aunt's." "She has an aunt?" " Oh, yes." "Lives Miles away from here." "Where?" " That I don't know." "What are you doing?" " Looking up her telephone number." "You don't know where she lives." " Miss westerman." "I told you, she was out." "No harm in trying." "Darrowby 7-2." " Siegfried, this is a bit much." "Don't you believe me or something?" "I know what your game is, Tristan." "If you're trying to get out of coming as well..." "Who else is trying to get out of coming?" "Heaven knows what you're up to." "Something unsavory, I imagine." "Oh, yes?" "Tell me more." "James, he-- oh, damn!" "See?" "I told you she was out." "I do wish you'd believe me sometimes." "All right, you win." "You can stay here." "All evening." "No nipping off to the drovers' arms." "Of course not." "What I'd say to the headingleys, heaven alone knows." "You could say I've been detained through pressure of work." "It had better be work." "Poor Deirdre headingley." "To be perfectly honest, I do have severe doubts as to whether I'm really Deirdre headingley's type." "Who said you were?" "I was expressing concern that nobody seems to want to go to her party." "I've long since ceased interfering in your affaires de coeur!" "Oh, I see." "Well, fine." "Have you really, siegfried?" "Of course I have." "What's that suspicious look?" " Nothing." "I won't deny that the idea of the farnons and the headingleys riding to hounds together does have a certain attraction, but anything more permanent..." "Good lord, think of the havoc he could cause." "A few misplaced words over the dinner table-- doesn't bear thinking about." "I see what you mean." "Come on, Helen, time we were off." "Come on, darling." " I'm coming." "Such a night as this..." "You old romantic." "Let's enjoy it, Helen, while we can." "Excuse me." "Tris..." "Was that a complete lie from beginning to end, or was there a grain of truth in it?" "Have a nice evening, James." "You get it, tris." "Bound to be for you." "Just a tick." "Darrowby 8-5." "Mr. herriot?" " Can I help?" "Hello, Mr. blenkiron." "I'll hand you over to my colleague." "I'm on my way out." "Tris!" "It's you I'd rather talk to, Mr. herriot, if you don't mind." "I'm sorry, but I really am in a hurry." "It's about that dog we saw t'other day." "Don't know if you remember." "Yes, of course I remember it." "Come along, darling!" "The dog that was begging for food?" "Aye, that's the one." "Well..." "He's met with a bit of an accident." "It's real bad one as a matter of fact." "One of our men found him on the roadside just out of town and brought him in." "I suppose there's naught you can do, but..." "All right, Mr. blenkiron." "The dog's hurt." "I'll be right over." "Goodbye." "I sure siegfried won't mind." "Rescuing stray dogs from death's door?" "James, what's the matter with you?" "I asked him to, siegfried." "Did you?" "I really would have thought miss westerman and the dreaded Hamlet-- hamish." " Hamish!" "Were enough." " Be reasonable, siegfried-- no, I will not be reasonable!" "It's a question of priorities." "Domestic pets are surrounded with the best of things." "If there's a choice, the farmers are the ones who come first." "People who produce the stuff that keeps us all alive." "And a good thing, too." "I'll still find time for miss westerman and stray dogs." "Then you're a fool." "Just as you'll still find time for your hounds and horses." "Are you coming, siegfried?" "No, certainly not." "I'm going straight to the headingleys'." "I'm going with James." " What?" "I'll drive you to the police station." "As long as you promise not to be too long." "But don't expect me to help." "Darrowby 9-2, please." "Hello, darling." "The coast is clear." "Mmm, the whole evening." "Yes, I know I am." "Anytime you want." "The sooner the better." "I'll be here." "Bye bye, now." "There are spare bulbs in pantry." " Pardon?" "I said, there are spare bulbs in pantry." "Oh, I thought the lights had gone." "No, no, no." "I was just trying to save electricity." "Mrs. hall..." "Are you going to be around all evening?" "Where else would I be?" "Quite." "I've been thinking about that poor old woman you were telling us about." "Sit down." "What, Mrs. faggeter?" " That's the one." "It's a terrible shame." "It's been preying on my mind ever since you told us." "Honestly, it has." "Did she enjoy her dinner?" "Said she'd rather have a bit of mutton." "Oh, did she?" "Look..." "Perhaps you could buy her some with this?" "Or anything else she cares to get with it." "That's very generous of you, Mr. Tristan." "Don't tell the others about it." "I don't like to brag." "I'll get it for her in morning." "Couldn't you get it for her tonight?" "No, of course you can't." "Just the thought of that poor old woman all alone all evening." "You could go for a cup of tea." "Or even two." "I'm going to be here looking after hamish, so there's no need to hurry back." "Aye, Mr. Tristan." "I'll do that." "Thank you very much." "She'll enjoy a nice long gossip." "You stay as long as you like, Mrs. hall." "Good night, Mr. Tristan." " Good night, then." "Oh." "Didn't want to leave him in the kennels with t'other dogs." "You stay here, Helen." "But James..." " He's in a nasty state, miss." "All right." "It's all right." "At least he can manage a wag." "Aye, he's right friendly." "He's probably been hit by some vehicle." "Maybe dragged along by the look of those wounds." "What's the best thing for him?" " Well..." "To be honest, Mr. blenkiron, a quick overdose of anesthetic." "James, no." " Whatever you think's best." "Even if by some remote chance I can patch him up, he is a stray, isn't he?" "No one really wants him." " We'll have him." "No, darling, siegfried's right." "We can't take in every waif and stray in the district." "Oscar was one thing, but we're a veterinary practice, not a dogs' home." "Mr. blenkiron, how long is it you can keep a dog before you have to put him down?" "About 10 days?" "That's right, yeah." "If that's all that's worrying you, you stitch him up, I'll take him in myself." "Well, it's..." " I've got two children always yammering after a dog." "I reckon he'd suit 'em champion." "Question is, can he be put right again?" "So I said, "no, I'm sorry," "I flatly refuse." "You could offer me champagne and caviar at the ritz," "I'd still plump for the evening at home with Lydia."" "I say, darling, isn't it a bit bright for you in here?" "James!" " In here, siegfried." "Evening, Mr. farnon." "James, what on earth's keeping you?" "Care to give us an opinion, please?" "We're already 30-- 35 minutes late." "That's my opinion, James." "Evening, Mr. blenkiron." "Oh, good grief." "Hello, old fella." "Now, now, fella." "All right, old boy." "We're obviously not going to be able to move him." "We shall have to do what we can here." "Get a move on, James." "We shall be here till midnight if you don't do something." "You know what we need?" " Everything we need is in the bag." "Yes, good." " Except the morphia." "Have to get that." " Anything I can do, Mr. farnon?" "Yes, Mr. blenkiron." "If you would..." "Get a bowl of piping hot water, as much clean linen as you can spare, and if your establishment runs to a bar of soap..." "Right." " Helen..." "Would you be kind and telephone alfreda headingley?" "Tell her we've been unavoidably delayed." "Right." "Thank you." "Now, old fella." "Tris?" "Tris?" "James?" "Tris, where are you?" "Where's siegfried?" " At the police station." "What?" " It is too complicated to explain." "You didn't bring him with you?" " No." "I have to go, tris." " I've ruined it all for nothing." "I thought you were him." "We were getting on so well, too." "Blissfully." ""We"?" " Lydia." "Dear, sweet Lydia." "She'll never talk to me again, of course." "You're exaggerating." "Now I have to go." "I'm not." "I panicked." "I heard the door slam, threw her off the couch and out the French windows." "I told her to go straight home." "I did hear a commotion." " That was Lydia landing in the rockery." "The high-pitched squeals?" " Lydia in the rose bushes." "She doesn't know the geography of the place." "I bet she does now." "Sorry, I have to go." "You're leaving my life in ruins around me, thank you very much." "That's what friends are for." "Come on!" "Now that hamish is safely out of the way, you've got the rest of the evening to yourself." " Oh, no!" "Tris, you haven't!" " When I opened the French window, the little beast must have dashed out after us!" "Tris, you really are-- what about miss westerman?" "I'll find him." "He must be out there somewhere." "He could be anywhere by now!" "Oh, God, that'll be her!" "Hamish!" "Come back!" " Hamish!" "I've got a sick dog to deal with!" "Come back and face up to your responsibilities!" " Hamish!" "Oh, damn!" "Where's Tristan?" "He's in there, isn't he?" "There, old boy." "What on earth kept you so long?" " Sorry." "We lost something, Tristan and I, we had to look for it." "Hope you found it." " Oh, yes." "Well... amazing what you can do when you have to." "Look at all this!" "Mr. blenkiron's got a little surgery here." "Let me take over." "You can get off to the headingleys'." "No, Helen telephoned..." "Explained that I shan't be able to make it." "You two go if you want to." " Siegfried, you must go!" "Just give me the morphine, James." "Thank you." " White coat?" "Don't fuss, James." "Don't be ridiculous, darling!" "I wasn't hiding!" "Look at my stockings." "They're ruined." "I'm terribly sorry, darling." "Don't "darling" me!" "I'll buy you another pair." "You'd better!" "What do you think you're playing at, shoving me out the window like that?" " A misunderstanding." "Oh, yeah?" " A little mistake." "Like my mistake for listening to you." "Now, Lydia-- - that's enough of that!" "Be reasonable, darling." "Enough of you, too!" "Hamish?" "Hamish!" "It's not gonna do you any good, you know!" "It's looking much better." "Fortunately, there's no internal damage." "With a bit of luck..." "I think he'll be perfectly all right." "James, excuse me." "Sorry, sorry." "I wonder whether we oughtn't take him home after all, keep an eye on him as he comes around?" "There you are little fella." " Do you think that's wise?" "Why not?" " Well..." "Why so cautious, James?" "Well, we'll talk about it later." "What's the matter, James?" "Nothing, nothing." "Where's the telephone?" " Around the corner." "Why?" "I've got to ring tris." " What for?" "The fool has lost hamish." "Oh, no, he hasn't!" " Yes, he has!" "If siegfried gets back before he finds him, heaven knows what will happen!" "Oh, thank you." "Just what I need." "Thanks." " How's he coming on?" "I'm not promising anything, but I think he'll be all right." "That's grand." " The children will be pleased." "Aye." "Funny thing, must be a night for strays." "Someone just brought another in." "I'm sorry, one stray per night is my limit." "May I use the telephone?" " Help yourself." "It's a fine-looking fella." "Looks as if it's been to the vet." "It's got one ear stitched up with what looks like old shirt buttons." "It crossed my mind you might know something." "Excuse me." "James...?" "Anybody in?" "Hamish!" "Hello?" "Hamish!" "Hamish!" "Ah, miss westerman." "I was just about to telephone you." "Where's my hamish?" "What have you done with him?" "He's not yet come around from the anesthetic." "Nonsense!" "I heard you calling him!" "I was trying to wake him." " In the garden?" "No, in the surgery." "I just popped into the garden for some fresh air." "Beautiful night, isn't it?" " Oh, my poor boy." "I must see him." "I wouldn't advise it" " I insist!" "I really think" " Mr. farnon, I am not used" "Tristan!" " Excuse me." "James, what on earth am I gonna do?" "James?" "!" " Yes...?" "Mr. farnon!" "James--!" " This any help?" "Oh, James... you're a miracle worker!" "I'll never forget you for this!" "How dare you--?" "Oh..." "Hamish..." "I didn't want to raise your hopes too much." "He looks perky, miss westerman." " He is." "For a minute in there," "I really thought something had happened to him." "Really?" "Come along, boy, come along." "That's it." "Good night, miss westerman." "Good night, miss westerman-- - idiot!" "Idiot." "♪ the sun has got his hat on ♪" "♪ hip-hip-hip hooray-- ♪ fine time in the morning to get up." "Morning, siegfried." "Morning!" " Morning, morning." "Eggs...?" "Bacon?" "Sausages?" "Hardly the "siege mentality," siegfried." "No..." "Well, I shall speak to Mrs. hall about it." "Do you think that's wise, siegfried?" "Talking to Mrs. hall?" "Think it might be better to say nothing about it at all?" "I think so." "Remembering what happened last time." "Yes, I think you're absolutely right." "I must confess to being..." "A trifle... peckish, after last night." "You didn't get to the party at all, then?" "My dear boy, we didn't finish till past 1:00." "I bet old headingley was livid." "I daresay you were missed as well." "Oh, yes." "Well, business is business." "Yes, indeed." "I hear you had... quite a profitable night." "Yes, I suppose I did, really." "Miss westerman was terribly pleased." "Said she was worried sick something awful had happened to hamish." "She didn't?" " She did." "Can't think why." "Perhaps it was because constable blenkiron... told her." "Pardon?" "That..." "Hamish was handed in like a forgotten parcel." "That's what happened, isn't it?" "Anyway, don't let me spoil the party." "I must be off." "You haven't finished your breakfast." "I know, my dear." "No rest for the wicked." "Mr. stokill's got a packed morning's work for me." "Stokill?" "We were only there yesterday." " Yes." "I know." "That's why I'm hurrying." "If you two were anywhere near..." "It'll probably take all afternoon as well." "Come on, boys." "Come on, come on."