"I can't if I'm talking to you, can I?" "I'm using locations." "I'm going to be there all night." "L11 an hour." "I'm not, I swear." "And it's till 2.00." "Yeah, L88 for the night." "I'll text you the address, shall I?" "Shell?" "Miss Hepworth." "That's right." "Katy." "Mrs Molloch?" "Miss." "Come in, please." "We're delighted you could do this." "Oh, did you bring an extra coat as I advised?" "Yes, in here." "You might want to put it on now." "Oh, you weren't joking." "The house is maintained at three-below freezing at all times." "My eldest brother has a... a medical condition." "The air humidity is critical." "Wow!" "These are old." "Ah, you're studying art, aren't you?" "Yes." "Are these originals?" "What would be the point otherwise?" "I have never understood the notion of prints." "Puts me in mind of wax fruit." "Well, I suppose some people can't afford the real thing." "I disagree." "Bananas are very cheap if you buy them brown." "I'm joking, of course." "Are they all religious?" "Most depict the harrowing of hell." "All of which is non-canonical to the Bible." "The harrowing of hell?" "Jesus is said to have descended into hell and released its captives." "Set free Adam and Eve." "All the Old Testament saints." "You can read about it in the Gospel of Nicodemus." "This is a lesser known Andrea da Firenze from the 14th century." "You recognise it?" "Not really." "We do more collages and stuff." "What are you working on at the moment?" "I'm doing a still life of a pair of trainers and a Jack-in-a-Box." "Sounds charming." "Our teacher says the Renaissance was the biggest dead end in art." "You don't like them?" "They're not what I would choose." "Oh, and what would you choose?" "A topless man holding a baby?" "Kitten in a champagne glass?" "Keep calm and carry on poster?" "Well, I..." "I'm teasing." "You find them frightening." "It's understandable." "Still too full of life to find solace in them." "I don't agree with my teacher." "Good." "Is that your brother?" "Hmm?" "Oh, my other brother." "Hector." "Oh, right, is he...?" "Disabled?" "No." "Just lazy." "One day in 1998 he complained his knees hurt on the stairs and three days later he installed this." "Wow." "He's impulsive in all the wrong ways." "We now have zinc roofs because he tired of galvanised steel." "I have a waste disposal unit in the sink but he won't take me to Florence." "Maybe one day he'll surprise you." "Doesn't know the meaning of the word." "Come through." "You've got a lovely house." "We have put our living within the tomb." "Madeleine Usher and I have a great deal in common." "Do you know Poe?" "From the Teletubbies?" "Who are they?" "It's a children's programme." "There's four of them." "The smallest one is called Po." "That's not who I meant." "You come highly recommended by Gracie Proud." "Friend of mine who attends the church." "Yes, she said she's spoken to you about me." "Well, I am pleased I have found someone like you." "Someone like me?" "Someone I can be confident in." "Championed." "What is that?" "Oh, it's Hector." "He's on his way down." "The noise of the stair-lift." "Ironically enough, it's on its last legs, but... to business." "As people, Hector and I never leave the house." "We have an event tonight." "Surfaces so rarely, it would be considered rude not to attend." "Mrs Proud said that your older brother..." "Andras." "He, unlike Hector, is disabled." "Terribly so." "Born inside out, as my mother used to say." "It's no concern of yours however." "He would be confined to his room at the top of the house." "Your stay here this evening is more to look after the house than to babysit Andras." "He's older than us, Tabs." "He's hardly a baby." "Miss Hepworth." "This is my brother, Hector." "How do you do?" "I play guitar, Miss Hepworth." "I'm not a vampire, if that's what you're thinking." "No, I wasn't, and Katy." "My name is Katy." "Hello." "Can you tie a bowtie, Katy?" "No, I don't know how to, sorry." "It will have to be you then, Tabs." "Has Tabitha gone through the phone numbers?" "Not really, she was just talking about Adrian, was it?" "Andras." "Well, he's not going anywhere." "He can wait." "Mobile telephones in this street are useless." "It's a dead zone." "Yes, my signal went." "I think it's due to foliage or some such, and since rounding the corner, your phone will have been in a state of outage." "We were offered something called broadbands, weren't we?" "Yes, but the man was sootified so I closed the door." "Therefore the landline is of vital importance to us here." "This evening, if the need arises, it is from this telephone that you can call us." "You won't need to ring it." "Nothing will happen." "Nothing ever happens, and we are back by 2.00am, but, but-but-but, should an emergency occur, this is the number to call." "We do share a party line here, so try to avoid eavesdropping if it happens to be engaged." "Right." "Do you need me to check on Andras?" "Is that something you need me to do?" "You have no need to go up there." "He's fine in his room." "He has everything he needs." "He knows you are here this evening." "We told him all about you." "He won't disturb you." "Ah." "There's food in here." "Obviously we have no need of a refrigerator." "Obviously." "Plenty of milk." "That's Andras." "Milk and Rusks." "That's all he can have." "The disability." "That and the fact he doesn't have a mouth." "The car's here, Tabs." "We better get moving." "Got everything?" "Just need my bag." "Oh, one last thing, Katy." "Just so you know, Andras has a bell by his bed." "He won't ring it." "He's never rung it, but I'm telling you just in case." "Right, we'll be off then." "Good night, Katy." "'Night." "Be good." "Hello, you." "He doesn't look disabled." "God, who lives here?" "The Munsters?" "I can't believe you found it." "Oh, my God, it's freezing." "What is this?" "Is there no heating?" "No, there's someone upstairs." "They need it cold." "What is he?" "A snowman?" "I can't stay here, Katy." "It's unbearable." "Ugh, these are vile." "I love them." "I knew you would." "They're all demons." "This lot looks like One Direction." "Do you think things like that actually exist?" "One Direction?" "Sadly, yes." "They do." "I meant the demons." "I know you did." "I was being ironical." "I think it's all just made up to scare people." "What's wrong with that?" "I like to..." "SCARE PEOPLE!" "It comes so easily to you, doesn't it?" "I'd have definitely been burnt as a witch if I lived in them days." "You would dressed like that." "Speaking of witches, come and see the cat." "It's so cute." "Have you found out where they keep the drink?" "They haven't got any." "All they've got is milk and Rusks." "I love Rusks." "This house is amazing." "I could so live here." "Look at this." "Don't, Shell." "You'll break it." "It's like Chessington for old people." "Stop it." "I'm getting in it." "You can't." "You're too big." "Oh, thanks, bitch." "I'm here two minutes and I'm getting called fat." "It's not that." "It's just, she said it was going to break." "And don't touch anything else." "Where's this cat then?" "There, on the sofa." "Very funny." "What have you done with it?" "What do you mean?" "What?" "You said they had a cat." "Yes, but it was stuffed." "You can get lost." "It was." "I stroked it." "It was rock hard." "It was probably just cold." "Weren't you, little one?" "It's in the pictures with them." "Look." "What you doing?" "I'm ringing my dad." "I want to go home." "Not on that you're not." "Brilliant." "What's wrong?" "It's a party line." "What?" "Excuse me." "Excuse me." "I need to use the phone." "Do you think I could..." "It's an emergency." "That's it." "I'm off." "You can't just leave, Katy." "What about Frosty the Snowman upstairs?" "He might melt." "He's not going anywhere." "He's an invalid." "Well, you said it was faulty." "Come on, let's go." "Are you really going to leave?" "Yes, I am." "Oh, no." "What is it?" "It's him." "Who?" "Him." "The snowman." "The brother." "What shall we do?" "I don't know." "Oh, God." "They said this wouldn't happen." "They said nothing ever happens." "We have to go up." "No, I can't." "We have to." "He might be ill or something." "He is ill." "Well, come on then." "Come on, Katy, we can't just leave him." "It's stopped." "Maybe he's all right." "Yeah, it's either that or he's died." "Don't say that." "Come on then." "Stay with me." "Look at this." "If she was in school uniform, she'd look like you." "Don't, Shell." "What?" "It could be reincarnation." "Me and Cal Crawford did this Ouija board once and a ghost from the future came through." "How do you know he's from the future?" "Because he told us that he wasn't even dead yet." "Hello?" "Don't!" "We have to." "Hello?" "Are you all right?" "He can't answer." "Well, why not?" "He just can't." "Why not?" "Because he hasn't got a mouth, Shell." "All right?" "That's what they tell me." "Apparently, he hasn't got a mouth." "He's not here." "Don't do that!" "Shit." "Come on." "Cool!" "Look at this." "Put that down." "It's Hector's." "I always wanted a guitar." "Cocking cello." "No-one plays the cello." "Leave it, please." "Ugh, look at this." "What is it?" "Salt." "Why has he got salt around his bed?" "Maybe they've got slugs." "This is not worth L88." "I told you it was like Chessington." "At least we don't have to queue." "It stinks." "Mr Molloch?" "Molloch as in bollock?" "Sh." "Oh, creepy bed." "I knew it would be." "Deliberate." "Andras." "Just checking you're OK." "Oh, my God." "Shit." "I don't believe this." "I know." "Such a cheat." "He has got a mouth." "It's just bandaged up." "Shell, help me." "Shell!" "Katy." "Look." "What have they done to you?" "OK." "OK." "You're all right now." "He's trying to say something." "OK, OK, slowly, slowly." "Free." "Free." "Yes." "Yes." "We're going to get you out." "Mischief." "What did he say?" "I don't know." "Come on." "Wait a minute." "If his hands were tied up, how was he ringing that bell?" "# They danced on the Friday when the sky turned black" "# It's hard to dance with the devil on your back... #" "All right, Hector." "That's enough." "You know I can't abide that modern music." "I don't know what you've been doing but I'm calling the police." "What with?" "Your phone is in a state of outage." "You keep forgetting that." "He was fair once, as he now is foul" "And lifted up his brow against his Maker" "May well proceed from him all tribulation." "Dante's Inferno." "Dante's Hell was ice, and just as Lucifer was kept in ice, so our brother - the demon - is kept in ice." "What are you talking about?" "Your brother's not a demon." "Technically you are right." "Andras was possessed when he was just ten years old." "Possessed?" "His name is Castiel." "Demon of mischief." "Mischief." "From the seed, he who walks backward." "Michael Jackson?" "No, not Michael Jackson." "The Goat of Mendes." "The devil himself." "Ask them how they did the cat." "Shut up." "Have you been here all along?" "Yes." "You see, despite what my sister says," "I am capable of some surprises." "You said you had a function." "Event." "I said event." "And this is it." "You are it." "Ask them how they did the cat." "For almost half a century we have kept the demon from roaming the Earth by confining Andras to this room." "Alas, the host body is only mortal, and when our brother passes, Castiel will be free." "And that's where you come in, Katy." "You have the strength of character to tame the beast." "You will house the demon for another 50 years." "Fuck off." "Ask them how they did the cat." "I think you should have that pleasure, Michelle." "Wait, how do you...?" "Michelle comes to our church, Miss Hepworth." "She's one of us." "We're just keeping order, Katy." "Without us, it really would be hell on Earth." "And I did the cat, if you must know." "What?" "I hid the stuffed one when you weren't looking." "Well, you're all just mad." "This is just abuse." "Your brother's not possessed." "He's a frightened old man who's been tied to the bed for 50 years." "You're worse than the Fritzls." "Stop that, please." "What is that?" "It's a Taser gun." "How can you not have heard of broadband but you own a Taser gun?" "!" "Be still, Miss Hepworth." "Michelle, fetch the epidural." "Wait!" "If your brother is a demon then where is the proof?" "Well, as you can see, his feet are cloven." "My mum's got feet like that." "It's just hard skin." "It's ready." "Turn around, please, Miss Hepworth, and remove your blouse and coat." "We will try to make this as painless as possible." "What are you going to do to me?" "The procedure is not unlike giving birth." "Except... the other way around." "There's no point running, Katy." "There's no way out." "Mischief!" "Quiet, Andras." "Sorry about that, Tabs." "You always said that we're like two fried eggs." "That's not funny, Hector." "Where's the girl?" "Shit!" "Come on, Katy." "This is an honour." "Your sacrifice keeps misrule from the whole world." "And for that, you'll be rewarded in Paradise." "Plus you get your baby-sitting money, so it's not all been for nothing." "I thought you were my friend." "I am your friend." "I wouldn't be doing this otherwise." "Why don't you have the demon go into you then?" "Oh, I wanted to, but they said that I was too weak-willed." "I think it's because I'm fat." "You were chosen." "Why?" "Well, can't remember now." "This is Andras's last supper, Katy." "That's it." "Won't be long now." "Castiel will soon be leaving this withered husk, and he will find a new home inside you." "We'll leave you to get acquainted." "You're going to be spending a long time together." "I'm so jealous." "Mischief." "Mischief." "Mischief."