"Calm" "Your feel more and more calm..." "Now imagine a screen..." "A movie screen that opens before you" "Create on it any place you like" "Concentrate on your breathing" "Helping your body to relax...feel at peace" "You don't have to change it." "Just let it come and go" "Come and go..." "Now..." "You are there" "Pay attention to the details" "The colors" "The textures" "The light" "The temperature." "Feel the temperature" "Allow this calm view to develop before you" "The feeling of peace is infinite..." "It's raining cats and dogs" "Are you sure this is closed" "Are you more calm now?" "Well, is not easy." "With that view I have in front" "What view?" "I can see through your skirt" "You are such a pig!" "You know what, I won't read you anymore." "Besides, is almost time." "I'm going to pick her up" "Ok, I'll stand up and prepare some coffee" "Would you like some music?" "Ok, whatever is on" "Ok, I'll leave you with your Wagner" "See you in a while" "OUT TO SEA" "Julia, get in the car." "You're going to freeze" "You are Gené, right." "I am Mark, hello" "And Julia?" "It looks like Galicia doesn't like us" "Yeah, well, it's February." "How was your flight?" "Fine." "We finally meet" "Would you mind coming with me in the car?" "We had agreed that only one person would come" "Yes, of course" " And..?" " Oh, Mark?" "He's only here to take notes" " Ok." "Do you trust him?" " Yes." "Well...he works at the firm" "Look, I'm not sure if you are aware of the step that Ramon has to take" "Of course I know the step Ramon has to take." "We've talked about it" "Today it's you, then its the press, then it's the television." "Ramon is afraid that this could be taken in the wrong direction" "All I can tell you is that I've come to do things as best as possible" "I hope so..." "And I remind you that for me this is really important" "Not only professionally..." "Believe me I understand Ramon very well" " Hello" " Hello" "My name is Julia" "You are the lawyer" "This is Manuela." "Ramon's sister in law" " Do you want help?" " No, no." "It's fine" "They're here" " Hello" " Hello" "Excuse me for not giving you my hand" "How come?" "They tell me you are a little nervous" " Well, let's see." "The first thing is breakfast" " What time?" "9:30." "Don't think that I like to wake up early" " After that, I listen to the radio for bit" " What do you like to listen to?" " A little of everything." "Mostly debates." " You like debates?" "Yes, yes." "I like the party" "See." "This is my personal computer" " Did you design it?" " Yes, I like inventions." "My father or my nephew builds them" "You are so serious all of a sudden" "Why dying?" "Well, let's see." "I want to die because for me, life in this way...is not worthy" "I can understand if other tetraplegic could feel offended when I say life like this is not worthy" "But I don't judge anyone." "Who am I to judge those that want to live?" "That's why I ask not to be judged nor the person that helps me to die" "And do you think someone is going to help you?" "Well, that would depend on the ones taking the decision." "If they manage to conquer their fears" "Is not such a big deal." "Death has always been there and always will be" "In the end we all get there." "All of us." "It is a part of us" "Why are they so surprised because I say I want to die?" "As if it is contagious" "If we finally go to trial, they will ask you why you don't seek alternatives to your disability" "Why do you reject the wheel chair?" "To accept the wheelchair would be like accepting breadcrumbs of what used to be my freedom" "Look, you are sitting there, less than 2 meters away" "What are 2 meters?" "An insignificant trip for any human being" "Well, for me, those 2 meters, necessary to get to you and being able to touch you, is an impossible journey a chimera, a dream" "That's why I want to die" "The three hours have passed, Ramon" "She has to change my posture" "Would you mind waiting downstairs?" "He called us a year ago." "He wanted us to, literally, help him die" "I told him that we could provide psychological help, legal support." "But we wouldn't put the cyanide in his mouth" "He got very mad." "He called us liars." "I had to hang the phone" "A few days later he called again, more calm." "I was surprised at how decided he was" " He has ever hesitated?" " Never" "That is very important" " And how long has he been like this?" " 26 years" "His mother used to take care of him but when she died, his sister in law took over" "How do you feel?" "Fine, this arm...a little higher" "I'm going to change the catheter" " Not now Manuela" " Is just a moment." "Let them wait" "She is married to Jose, Ramon's brother" "They live of the farm and a little orchard they have" "And what do they think about this?" "Ideas are free." "But I think that is not right" "But why not?" "I want what's best for him." "Everyone in this house wants that" "Then why would he want to die?" "I cannot get that into my head" "Is not rational, as he says" "I cannot give it to him and I don't give my authorization to do it in this house" "Hello" " Don't leave that there Javi!" " Oh come on mom!" "Take it to your room" "Your uncle wants you to check the machine" " The bag..." " Yes!" " What's wrong?" " The roller is a little stuck" " Didn't you have exam today?" " No." "And the lawyer" "She is with Gené and grandpa." "He took them to the beach" "They might end up in Corunna." "With that head of him" "Don't talk like that about your grandfather" "His mind is completely gone" "Of course, he is old, what do you want?" "Well, that he stays out of the way" "He is all day at home..." "As if we needed him." "What" "Look, one day..." "I don't know when, maybe in a long time..." "One day you are going to regret so much, so much what you just said." "That you will want the ground to swallow you" " But why?" " One day, you'll see." "One day..." "Here the ocean is very treacherous." "Those who dare bathe in it, have to be very careful" "My son jumped from here." "I don't know what he was thinking." "He jumped exactly when the water was receding and he hit his neck against the sand" "This is very very sad." "God wants him to keep on living." "But you know that he doesn't want to live anymore" "But, he never told me anything, he never told me...he never told me anything" "Look, we will win Heaven, because we have spent our whole lives in Hell" "I tape this image so the judges or politicians or whoever has to decide understand better..." "Apparently they can't identify with the psychological pain of the person, then maybe this way they'll understand that this is not life" "Why do you smile so much Ramon?" "When you can't escape and depend constantly on others" "You learn to cry by laughing" "Good morning" " Does Ramon Sampedro lives here?" " Yes, what do you want?" "I was taking a ride and thought about visiting him" "I heard lots of people come to see him" "Ok" "Just a little while" "My name is Rosa" "Come closer" "Where are you from?" "Boiro." "I came on my bike" "Oh God, I feel like such a fool" " Why?" " Well, because I don't know what to say." "Since I don't know you" "Don't worry about that." "I can't do anything else." "Please, have a seat." "Why did you came?" "You're not making it easy." "What do you do?" "I work in a conserve factory and I'm also a radio host at Radio Boiro, Wednesdays and Fridays" " So, maybe I've heard you sometime" " Yes?" " But is only an amateur thing..." " No, you are pretty good" " Yes, apparently, eh?" "The thing is to get started, after that no one can stop me" " I have 2 little sons" " Your husband?" " No." "Well, yes, but we left him" " Are you alone now?" "Let's see." "I had a boyfriend, the father of my youngest son... but he also left me...we left him." "So now I'm alone but happy" "I was asking in case I had any chance..." "Why do you laugh?" "Sorry..." "It's ok, I was joking" "Besides, I don't think I'd be willing to take on two children, I have enough with my nephew" "I saw you on TV the other day hmmm...see, now we are getting closer" "Closer to what?" "To the reason why you came" "I heard what you said and then I saw your eyes, that are really pretty" "Thanks" "And I thought, those eyes full of life!" "Why would someone with those eyes want to die" "Look, we all have problems sometimes and we don't have to run away of them, you know?" " No, I don't run away of my problems..." " Yes, of course you do." "That's why I wanted to come" "What for?" "To give you reasons to live" " To tell you that life..." " Life what?" "Is worth it" "Let's see, did you came here to see me or to convince me?" "No, I came because I want to be your friend Ramon" "If you want to be my friend, Rosa, you should start by respecting my will" "How can you be so closed?" "Don't judge me." "Don't judge me Rosa." "Not in my own house" "Or do you want me to judge you?" "Do you want me to judge you?" "Why don't we talk about the real reason you came" "Why don't we talk about the fact that you are clearly a frustrated woman... that woke up this Saturday looking for ways of giving reason to your own life" "Yes, run." "You that can." "Thanks a lot." "So you don't want me to put you anything?" " No, dear." "Just stay as cheerful." "Good night" " Good night" "Well, it's 8:45 and here we are at Radio Boiro." "I remind you that you can call and request your favorite song" "Before I continue..." "I would like to dedicate the next song to someone that maybe is listening tonight" "I know he listens to the radio a lot" "I would love it for him to call me someday and ask for a song" "Although I know he won't because...the last time we saw each other we didn't end up in good terms" "But for what it's worth, I'd like to tell him I'm sorry" "I'm sorry I judged you Ramon, I am such a fool and I can't help it" "Enough...for you my friend, Ramon, "Negra Sombra" (Black Shadow)" " Yes?" " Hello" "Gené!" "How are you?" "Well, still at the office." "You are giving us too much work, Ramon" "I'm just kidding" "Hey, the report was spectacular." "We have received a lot of support calls" " This will be really great for the trial" " If you say so..." "Oh, come on!" "You have to improve that mood, otherwise we won't be able to do anything" " You knew we had to do this." " Yes, I know, I know" "Julia, the lawyer, wants to see you again and this time for longer" "Has she fallen in love with me?" "You wish handsome!" "besides, she is married" "No, she says she needs to know you better to prepare the case" "That's what they all say" "Wait..." "2 minutes and I'm there" "Hey, did you know that the guy that came with her wants to go out with me" " Are you leaving me for a lawyer?" " No" "You are missing on it" "I see it quite well" "Your leg" "Well, yes..it moves" "Let's see...this is going to be easy." "You only need to answer with your heart" "With the head, you mean.." "With the head." "You don't mind if I record it, right?" "Let's begin with your youth, before your accident." "What did you do then?" "Is that necessary?" "I had forgot all about it." "Is your memory that bad?" "No." "I just thought we would talk about my suicide demand" "We will Ramon." "Is just that is very important that the judge identifies with you and that he understands you." "For that I need to know who is Ramon Sampedro and who he was" "That way, you will use it against me later." "You are such a Galician!" " I'm your lawyer, I'm on your side" " Ok" "When I was 19, I packed my things and I went around the world" "I was doing that for a couple of years, until the accident" "Wait, wait." "You went around the world with only 20 years?" "You just don't know how." "Ship mechanic." "I always tell my nephew." "To travel without money, become a sailor." "What?" "Looking for proof?" "No, is that I can't see a single picture of you around here" "How were you in your younger years?" "Why?" "Am I so ugly now, or what?" "Ok, I won't ask you anything else." "That's it" "You don't like looking into the past, right?" "Of course not, I look into the future." " And what is the future for you?" " Death, just like for you" "Don't you think about death?" "I'm not the only one who thinks about it." "Yes, yes." "Of course I think about it" "I just try that it doesn't become my only thought" "Tomorrow is going to rain" "Tomorrow is going to rain" "I think he whistled" " I didn't hear a thing" " Yes, he did" " What do you want?" " The game already started" "But you know I don't like soccer" "Why don't you watch it downstairs" "Hey, if you want to convince me you need to give me a rational justification" "The "Depor" is playing" "That is not a rational justification" " But it is important" " Why?" "Because it is decisive for the league." "If they loose this one, they can only make it to second place" "OK, turn it on" " Can you see?" " Yes" "Did you hear him whistle too?" "Ramon told me you asked about the pictures" "Yes" "There's gotta be one somewhere" "I'll look for them tomorrow" "Thanks" "If you need more blankets, look in the closet" "In June, it is still cold at night" "Manuela..." " No, no, no" " Yes, yes, yes" "I cannot accept this, I can't" "Manuela, I'm going to stay a couple of days." "The least I can do is contribute with something" "But added to the fact that you are doing it for free" "I'm doing this because I want to." "Manuela, please..." "Ok." "Anything that you need, please let me know" "Thanks" "What are you plotting over there?" "Nothing" "It's a shame you can't see the sea from here" "Is better like that" "That way I can see it when I want to" "How come?" "When I want to, I concentrate and take a step to the sea" "Flying" "I imagine that the sea means a lot to you" "Well, the sea gave me life and then took it away" "I don't know if that means anything" "Give me some details about that day." "The day that your life changed, ok?" "Whatever you say." "Ok, first when did it happen?" "August 23rd of '68" " You still lived with your parents?" " Yes." "I was still a kid" " Were you alone at the beach that day?" " No, I was with some friends, town's folk" "But how is it that someone so familiar with the sea didn't calculate the receding" "I was distracted" "Distracted?" "Yes, I was thinking about things" "And?" "Ok." "Leave it alone." "It doesn't matter" "I can see you don't want to talk about it either" "No." "I'm just remembering" "When I realized I was in the air, jumping on an almost empty pool" " Were you left unconscious?" " No." "I was just there...face down" "Floating" "You know is true what they say about those that are about to die that all of a sudden you get to see the most important moments of your life" "That happened to me" "And what did you see?" "They say that those that drown, after all the air has been expelled, die instantly" "A sweet death." "I should have died then" " Do you still see all this people?" " Some I do, some I don't" " Who is this girl?" " Some girl" "Well, she appears in many pictures" "She lived in the town." "Can I have a puff?" " Do you smoke?" " From time to time in case it kills me but nothing..." " She was my girlfriend" " Your girlfriend?" "And what happened to her?" "There was a time when she used to go to the hospital." "One day she said something foolish about getting married" "And I told her to get out of there, try to resume her life the best way she could and that she should forget about me" "But, did you love her?" "That was not the issue" "How come?" "The issue was if I wanted to love her in this condition" "Are you telling me you refuse to love because..." "Because I can't love" "Just like that" "So, what I have to tell the judge is that, in your opinion, tetraplegics have no right to fall in love" "But who's talking about tetraplegics?" "I'm talking about me, Ramon Sampedro" "There are other ways of making love" "Yes of course" "Has any girl kissed you in the past 27 years?" "Now you are going to show me how, no?" " The girl from Borio is here" " The girl from Borio?" " Christian, I told you to come here" " Rosa!" " Hi Ramon" " I told you to come here!" "Leave him, it's ok." "Are you good or bad?" " Bad." " Then we will get along fine" " I'm Julia" " I'm Rosa, nice to meet you" "I'm sorry to have interrupted you" "I'll go for a while and leave you alone" " How are you?" " Fine" "I hope you are not here to give me some of those reasons to live you always bring" "No." "No way." "Well, I don't know..." "I wanted to see you." "And wanted you to meet my sons" "That's better" "Christian, behave yourself." "We are not at home." "This is Samuel." "Sami, say hello" "Hi, Sami." " Why are you in bed?" " Because he can't move, I already explained it to you" "Is it true you can't feel a thing?" "What happens to you now?" "Are you hot?" "Is just that with this weather you never know." "We are on strike because there's been a month since they paid us." "So it's like Sunday for us" "I made the breakfast, we took the bus and we came to see you" " What happened?" " Nothing" "Samuel, why are you crying now?" "Manuela..." "What do you think about all this?" "Tell me the truth" "What do I think about what?" "That your brother in law wants to die" "That's what he wants" "Ok, but but you." "What would you want?" "What would you prefer?" "What I prefer has no importance" "Ramon wants to die." "Everything is quite clear for me" " Would you like to see a thing?" " A thing?" "Yes, come" " Christian, leave that alone" " Leave me alone!" "I'm going to leave your ass like a ripe tomato" "Almost all of them are poems" "I never threw anything away" "I couldn't do it." "It takes a lot of effort for him to write them" "And his handwriting..." "Look..." "I never saw such a beautiful handwriting" " Ok." "I'll be downstairs" " Manuela" "Is going to take me a while to read all of this" " Would you mind telling Ramon that..." " That you went to the beach" " ...to take a walk" " Thanks" "Of course it is the first and the last time I bring you here" " But mom, that guy is faking it" " The last time!" " Did she tell you when would she be back?" " Just to take a walk" "That way you can take a nap" " You can't complain" " Why?" "Not a minute passes by that a woman comes into this house." "Are you building a harem?" "Manuela, you know I'm only married to one" "Yes, with Death" " Do you want anything else?" " No" "They told me you were here." "And I came flying" "Manuela..." "Hi" "How was the walk?" "I've been reading Ramon" "I've been reading all that you have done." "You know what?" "What you have written is wonderful" "So...you are not only a lawyer, but also a writer" "Ok." "Make fun of me." "But I tell you that this can be published" "Of course it can be published." "Nowadays you can publish almost anything" "I don't see a better way to support your demand" "Is your voice" "Look Julia, this was more clear at the beginning" "You came here with a purpose, to help me" "Instead of that, you start questioning everything." "Looking for reasons..." "You get inside my feelings..." "Do you want me to leave?" "What I want right now is a cigarette, please" "Sure." "I'll go get them" "Julia, what happened?" "Are you alright?" "Manuela!" "Is not about what happened, but about what could happen." "Because...one day...is the legs" "But on another day you can go blind" "And you can get better or not" "I had been lucky so far" "but then comes the next stroke and the next, and the next and no one can tell you when or how they are going to be" "No one can tell what is going to be left of you if anything at all" "Your husband is very optimistic" "And what is it good for?" "If there's not even medication for this" "What's the point of standing up, working, getting your hopes up if at the end comes the next stroke and you fall again and you feel again like shit" "Is ridiculous" "I called you because I want to become a member of DMD" "I had thought about it 2 years ago when I was diagnosed but I backed out at the last moment" "But not after this not after this." "I can't take it anymore." "This isn't life" "Does your husband know?" " I don't know if I want to tell him" " You should" "Fear is a very powerful weapon." "Fear doesn't give you freedom to decide" "What you are telling me right now is a product of that fear" "Maybe, later, you will back out, precisely out of fear" "Do not act based on fear." "You are supposed to support people that want to commit suicide, right?" "No." "Do you think that I go around telling people with problems that the best is to get out of the way" "No." "What we support is freedom." "The freedom of those that want to live and those that want to die" "Is very different" "And CADASIL is a very fucked up disease, I agree" "But I only ask that you think it a little bit more" "Ramon, gave me this for you" "If you want, we can talk some other day about this" "How do you see her?" "Fine" "Really?" "I also think she is fine" " Ok." "Nice to meet you" " Thanks for coming" "You are welcome" " I'll stay a while longer" " OK" "Dear Julia..." "When Gené told me that a lawyer wanted my case there was something that influenced my decision and it was the fact that the lawyer suffered a degenerative disease" "I thought that only someone in that condition could really understand mine" "And shared my hell" "Now I know that living in that hell is sometimes worth it, if one gets to meet people like you" "Is worth it to have shared a cigarette with them or, like right now, caressing them even if its just by writing some foolishness like this" "And talking about foolishness, I'm correcting my writings" "With the hope that you will come soon and give me a hand" "For now, my nephew Javi is helping me by copying them on his computer" "For the rest, life continues just the same, you know" "Manuela kept the whole month covering me so next year doesn't catch me off guard" "Javi keeps fighting with his grandpa and sometimes I make up little chores so they spend more time together" "This month some friends came to visit." "Some of them have been doing it for 25 years and that keeps surprising me" "They enjoy telling me their stories" "Do you remember Rosa?" "The girl from the conserve factory." "I think she found here some kind of refuge" "The other day she wanted to help Manuela to change my clothes, and they ended up arguing" "I proved again that when you depend on someone for everything, you lose your privacy" "Well..." "I hope to keep my little kingdom in order until you can cheer me up with your presence" "A big hug." "What's going on?" "Let's see." "What does it say here?" ""No es asi la vida que va" (The life that goes is not like that)" "No sir." "It has to say "No es así la vida." "Qué va" (Life is not like that." "No way)" " No" " Yes." "And that "Qué" has accent" "That "Qué" has accent." "Do you see it?" "Right there." ""Death is my friend," where's the colon?" "What are they teaching you in school?" "You have to pay attention to what I give you" "Even your grandpa would do it better" "Look Javi, if this is the way you are going to help I rather you didn't do it, ok?" "Because you make me work twice" "Give me the stick." "Give me the stick" "Put a little more attention, ok?" " Javi, what happened?" " Nothing" "Dear Ramon...please forgive me for taking so long in answering your letter" "But the doctors have limited me the use of the computer and in general, any activity that doesn't make me use my legs" "They assure me that I'll be able to walk again but they say that I shouldn't continue with your case" "In the physical therapy room there's a huge window" "Sometimes I imagine that I go through it and fly, like you, over Barcelona" "I reach the sea and keep flying until I can only see that endless line of water" "And think, foolish me, that if you do the same from Corunna, maybe you'll go around the world again" "And we end up finding each other in some part of the planet" "I identify with you when you mention the lack of freedom and privacy" "I try to bear with it, mainly for my husband that takes care of me with much dedication" "But at the same time, I refuse to fall into this inertia where I just can be grateful for what is given because I have no other choice but to accept it" "I wish I'll be able to see you in a couple of months" "And I keep my promise of helping you with the book" "Until then receive the thanks and a hug from a very good friend" "I knew this could happen, I knew it." "We are going to have to try again" "No Mark, how can you say that we have to try again?" "As if justice is so swift in this country" "No." "And now it is me the one that has to tell him" "The demand of the tetraplegic Ramon Sampedro requesting the euthanasia was rejected yesterday by the tribunals due to defects in its form" "The sentence says that the judicial process should have been started in Corunna where he resides, and not in Barcelona" "Many voices have been raised due to this case among them is priest's Francisco de Galdar tetraplegic like Ramon" "Ramon says he doesn't want to live anymore, but I wonder isn't it possible that Ramon is asking of society, of all of us, some kind of attention" "What is he talking about?" "Maybe is that the people that surround him doesn't provide the love or support that he needs" "That moron" "Couldn't it be possible that what Ramon is asking is for more love?" "I would really like to talk to him and convince him that there are many reasons to keep on living" "Aren't you going to school?" "I hope you are happy now!" "Our whole family humiliated on television" "But keep it up, keep it up." "Until our faces fall out of embarrassment" "And you dad?" "Aren't you going to tell him anything?" "Don't involve dad in this." "Whatever you have to tell me, do it and be done with it" "I'm going to tell you something Ramon." "I am the older brother" "Listen to me, listen to me for a moment" "What if you have an accident tomorrow and you die?" "Have you thought about it?" "What would happen to me?" "I would have to take care of the family, right?" "Of your wife, your son, dad..." "With that miserable pension of mine" "If I stay alive, I'll make things a lot more difficult" "I'm going to tell you something Ramon." "I am the older brother" "I am the older here." "And while I'm alive, no one is getting killed here" "No one in this house is getting killed." "Put that in your head, Ramon" "No one!" " Ok, son." "I'll leave" " See you tomorrow dad" "I'll go" "Hi Manuela, I came to see Ramon" "But, do you know what time it is?" "I know." "I couldn't come sooner." "I'll explain it to Ramon" "I don't think he's in the mood of visits." "He had a bad day" "Why don't you come tomorrow?" "Or the day after?" "It's important" "The conserve factory is closing" "That things are not going well." "That there's no money to pay us" "And that we are fired" "There's no right, damn it!" "There's no right." " Forgive me Ramon" " I have nothing to forgive" "Cry all you want." "I wish I could stand up and give you a hug" "Now that I had started to save some money" "I wanted to buy you a telescope for the day of the Wise Men" "You don't have to buy me anything, Rosa" "I will get really mad if you spend one cent on me" "But I really wanted to" " I wanted to give you something" " But why do you have to give me anything?" "Because you game me a lot Ramon, you have no idea" "No man has never been so kind to me as you have been" "Was it that bad?" "Now, I don't complicate things" "Now I know that the problem must be me, right" "That men doesn't like me or something" "What do you say, Rosa?" "How is that even possible?" "Wasn't that what you told me when I came here the first time?" "Frustrated woman, you said" "Yes, yes." "If I called you that then, now I call you strong and brave and kind and beautiful." "And I call an imbecile to those who can't see it" "Rosa, please stop it." "You make me feel like a priest and I hate them enough already" "Sit over here, come on sit." "And leave my hand alone, you know I can't feel it" "My son says you are faking it." "But you do feel your face, right?" "I wish I could help you." "I would do anything to help you." "You would help me?" "Yes" "Don't worry." "I have it all planned so that no one ends up in jail" "I have some friends that are willing to help" "I only need one more." "Someone brave, like you" "No." "Help you heal... not die" "Come un guys, let's go." "Are you holding him?" "He won't fit through here" "Ramon says that he understands the situation but that he won't come down" "Ok." "It doesn't matter." "Brother Andres" "Go upstairs and tell Ramon" "...and since we are inside eternity." "Life doesn't belong to us... and we take to ridiculous extremes the bourgeois definition of private property" "You are killing me" "But if Church was the first one in secularize the private property" " I can't tell him that" " How come?" "Should I tell him that?" "Freedom to choose my beliefs...no, his beliefs and decide over his life" "Ok, now you tell him" "Why does the Church keep with such passion that posture of terror of death?" "Because it knows that it would lose a great amount of its customers if people lose their fear to the Great Beyond" "He reminds you that according to the polls, 67% of the Spanish are in favor of euthanasia" "Very well, very well." "Now you tell him that moral issues are not resolved through polls" "Because most of the German people was also in favor of Hitler" "Now he is going to compare me to Hitler." "That is very rude" "No, not that" "Ask him what does Hitler has to do with anything" "No wait..." "Padre Francisco, do you hear me?" "Yes." "Ramon I can hear you" "Why do you mix pears with apples?" "I hope you didn't come here to do demagoguery." "Because you Jesuits know a lot about that." "No, no." "Of course not." "But since you bring up demagoguery, my dear Ramon." "Don't you think that what's really demagogic is to say "Death with dignity"" "Why don't you leave the euphemisms aside and call things by its name, with all its rawness" ""I take my life" and that's it..." "It keeps surprising me your interest in my life, when the Institution that you represent accepts the death penalty and condemned for centuries to the bonfire those who didn't think in the right way" "Now it is you the one doing demagoguery" "Yes of course, but leaving the euphemisms aside, as you say that's what you would have done with me, right?" "Burn me alive" "Burn me for defending my freedom" "Ramon, my friend..." "Friend?" "Ramon, my friend." "A freedom that eliminates life is not freedom" "And a life that eliminates freedom is not life either" "Don't call me friend!" "And leave me alone" "Come on." "Let's go" "You...you that look like kind people, give this man reasons to live" "Prove to him that life is not only moving your arms and running around or kicking a ball." "Damn it!" "Life is something else, really" "Life is so much more." "Hear it from me." "And what do you want us to do?" "That we gag him so he doesn't talk?" "Or that we put him to sleep with a rattle like a little kid" "Look. you appeared on TV and something that I can't take out of my head" "Manuela, leave it alone" "You said that Ramon's family didn't give him enough love... you should know that in this house no one stopped loving Ramon for one single day" "Not one day" "I've been looking after him for many years and I love him like a son" "I don't know which one of you is right" "And I don't know if it's true what you say about life belonging to God and not to us but I do know one thing" "you have a very big mouth" "Rosa, I told you that is not necessary." "I already shaved Ramon" "Yes, yes." "But I know a better way" "Where do you have the soap?" "They're here" "I don't feel anything." "Are you sure there's a child in there?" "7 months old, darling" " Well, he's not moving" " You're the one that doesn't move" " Now, now, now" " See" " He's happy to see you" " How are you going to call him?" "We still don't know" "Well, call him Ramon and that way one day when he asks why, you can tell him my story" "Is better if you tell him" "There's someone else who will be really happy to see you" " No, no." "Not like that" " Grandpa, shut up" " How come you didn't say anything?" " We wanted to surprise you" "This a great Wise Men's day present" "I'm going to open the windows, it's really hot in here" "We better get out and leave you alone for a while" "How are you sailor?" " Do you drink coffee Mark?" " Yes, please" " How are you Rosa?" " Fine" "Ramon told me that you had found a new job" "Yes, caring for some elderly people" "Does that woman is going to stay long?" "A couple of weeks, depending on how long the book takes" "Well, I guess I won't be able to shave him." "See you some other time" "Bye Rosa" "Ok, the judges have their hands tied because of the legislation" "We are going to try to obtain a statement where we recommend to the government changes to the penal code" " The government?" " The government is there to serve us, Javi" "Your uncle is more important" "The jury will not dare agree with us, we already know that" "But we cannot fail on the regional audience" "Javier, help me with the cows" "We have to convince the judges that Ramon is complete sane and lucid" "It would help us a lot if he would make a declaration" "Manuela, we have to take Ramon out of the house" "Can you tell me what were you doing in there?" "Do you know what are they talking about?" "What they want?" "And what do I do?" "Lock myself up in the room?" "Do you understand what they really want?" "What happens if he wins the trial?" "Your uncle gets injected and dies, like a dog." "And you never see him again" "You will never see him again, Javier" "Or do you think death is so great?" "Please use your head" "Death is a very serious thing, you hear me?" " Your uncle dies and you won't see him again." " Leave me alone" "Is not that he doesn't feel like it, he just doesn't want to use the chair" "Taking him out of the house once or twice a year is an accomplishment" "Well, this one has to be one of those times." "It is very important that Ramon takes this trip." "And when would that be?" "I estimate that the trial will take place in the spring" "So we still have time to propose it to him." "There's only one thing worse than the death of a son and that is he wanting to die" "Well, let's get to work" ""...get inside of you, eternally, my seducer lover, beloved sea"" "Can you really smell the sea from here?" "Yes, and sometimes in the morning if there's wind and the window is open, I can smell it as if I was there" "You have a very good nose" "Smells are probably what cause me more intense sensations" "More fantasies" "...your smell, for example." "My smell" "Yes, is the first thing I imagine when I day dream about you" "Really?" " And what are those dreams about?" " Just things" "They all have one thing in common..." "In all of them I can move... and I stand up and travel wherever I imagine you are at that moment" "And if I imagine that you are here, for example" "I just get close to you" "And do what I have been wishing to do so many times" "Then your smell becomes stronger and I get dizzy" "I can feel your heart beat then I feel your hands" "And then I lose my mind..." "I lose my mind" "Is the water ok?" "Julia..." "Julia, are you awake?" "Yes" "I can't sleep" "Why is that" "I have an itching in one leg, can you come and scratch it?" "...the leg" "I brought him some "filloas"" " I know he likes them" " Rosa, please listen" "I made them" "I've told you that you don't have to cook him anything, or bathe him or shave him." "Nothing" "I take care of Ramon." "Get it?" " Ok, then I want to hear it from him" " No, he already told me" "Besides, he is very busy now." "Is he with her?" "I wish I was a lawyer too." "But of course..." " Don't cry Rosa, don't cry" " If you don't want to see me, please tell me" " Of course I want to see you" " It doesn't look that way" "Really, what are you..." "Rosa..." "Rosa..." "She hung up" "Do you mind dialing the number again and giving me a minute alone" "What's going on between you two, Ramon?" "But Julia..." "Why would I need to explain anything to you?" "I don't understand why you answer me like that, because then I don't know what I'm doing here." "Unless of course, you think that there's nothing happening here" "The kiss you gave me yesterday meant nothing?" "Look at you" "Look at you sitting there" "Look at you" "And now look at me" "Where are we going Julia?" "Look at us" "I haven't finished" "What do you think?" "That I don't think about what happened to me?" "Of course, I think about it." "Frequently." "Every single day." "It's like a nightmare." "And I know that it will only get worse and worse until I end up like a vegetable" "So I have reached a conclusion and I rather..." "I'm going to do it Ramon." "I'm going to take my own life" "But before I do it, if you want to, my love..." "I would like to help you." "Leave together..." "You don't say anything?" "You didn't expect this." "When?" "I don't know." "We are almost done with the book and..." "I'll go to Barcelona and look for an editor so you can publish it." "And then I'll come back with the first copy." "That same day, Ramon." "That same day." "Listen to me, in the worst case scenario we would win the public support." "If the verdict is negative the discussion will be more heated" " Don't be stupid..." "I can't understand..." " Are you ok?" " Yes, Yes" "News, what news?" "Mark, please be careful." "It's ok, it's ok." "What happened Ramon?" "We are here." "I understand Ramon, I understand." "But that doesn't matter" "Listen to me, if no one takes this step." "If everyone hides their heads and doesn't even try to confront the state, the judges..." "And what do we do now Manuela?" "I mean, with the trip to Corunna." "Do I go there and waste my time?" "Knowing that they won't listen to me." "Well, I think that today it is a waste of time but maybe tomorrow it could be useful for someone else" "Ok." "Let's go and see those judges in the face" " Javi, where is the chair" " The chair?" "I don't know, it's probably in the back." "Well, I want you to take it out and clean it up." "Then bring grandpa and I'll explain." "We are going to make some changes" "Are going to put a motor?" " You have to cut here and here" " Let the back move, right?" "You have to cut these pipes down here and then join them with bolts so they move as hinges." "Are you getting this?" " Yes, yes" " And you dad?" "Your going to be lying down son." "You might fall sleep at the trial" "Is not like they're saying anything interesting, dad." "Die to Live" "LETTERS FROM HELL" "You should put a pillow here to support my head" "In case I fall backwards and break my neck" "Hey, Javi." "Do you get it?" "Break my neck..." "Break my neck..." "Grandpa" "Look, if you're going to help me like that, is better if you do nothing" " Am I tying you too tight?" " You're asking me?" "Wait a moment please." "Ramon" "Manuela, please." "As if I don't look ridiculous enough" "Better this than catching a cold" "And don't you dare, taking it off" "You are Ramon Sampedro, right?" "I really wished it was me the one to take you." "Living is a right, not an obligation!" " Look at all the people here" " Who did we kill, eh?" "Ramon, do you feel alone because you are the only Spanish to have requested euthanasia?" "Yes, well, the first one in requesting it in a public manner." "But this has been happening for many years." "What do you expect from the judges?" "What are you going to tell them?" "I just want to tell them that I'm completely sane and lucid" "Silence" "Can we talk later?" "Silence, please" "In a state declared as lay and that recognizes the right to the private property and which constitution expresses also the right not to suffer tortures or degrading treatments is correct to say, that whomever sees his position as degrading, as in Ramon Sampedro's case," "should be able to decide over his own life in fact, no one that attempts suicide and survives is judged afterwards" "but..." "when you need the help of someone else to die with dignity, then the state interferes with the freedom of the people and tells them that the life they are living is not theirs, that they can't make decisions about it" "This, Your Honor, can only be done based on metaphysical beliefs, or religious" "In a state, I repeat... that is declared lay" "Your Honor, I ask for a legal answer, but above all, rational and human" "And now, with your permission, Ramon Sampedro would like to read something" "Overruled" "My client want to address you directly so you hear from his own voice..." "You know perfectly well the process" "Of course I know it, I know it perfectly" "But I didn't know that it was so irrelevant for you to give three minutes of your time" "Three..." "To listen to a man that has been waiting for 28 years" "If you want to change the process... change the laws" "Yes, of course." "I know that already." "This case is ready for a sentence." "Well..." "I knew you were not going to take it seriously." "That's what all men do." "Laugh at me." "You were not going to be different" "Rosa, forgive me." "Is just that lately a little of everything happens to me" " And..." "I'm a little overwhelmed." " Why?" "Is not allowed to fall in love with a tetraplegic or what?" "Is it that weird?" "Well, maybe we should clear up some things." "Specially if we are talking about something as complex as love." " Complex?" " Yes Rosa, complex." "No matter how much you tell me that you love me, I will never be sure of how real is your love or if it's just an idealization of a man you wanted to find but couldn't or didn't last." "But what are you talking about Ramon?" "Don't try to confuse me" "Either you love or you don't." "You can't rationalize love" "Well, if that's the case, what do you want me to do?" "You want me to move in with you?" "For me is enough to know that I can visit you from time to time" "Of course you can." "Of course you can" "Yes, but for how long?" "Rosa." "You wouldn't ask me to stay alive for you, right?" "What if I told you that... that you give me strength to live Ramon" "Wait wait." "Stop this thing for a moment" "Sit over there." " Let's see." "Do you love your children?" " Of course I do." "Well, there you have the strength to live" "Don't give me that responsibility Rosa" "Is that what you call love?" "Keep me here against my will?" "Look..." "The person that really loves me is the one that will help me die." "That is love, Rosa" "Dear Julia...yesterday I received the sentence of the provincial audience the judges understand that I want to die, but remind me that to help me, would be punishable by law" "In other times, this would have affected me a lot" "Pushing me into that alley without exit where days and nights never end" "But now I feel that everything is rushing by and that the publication of the book will happen any day now" "And with it you will return Julia." "My Juliet..." "It will be the sweetest death that I could ever imagine" "It will be love, pure and shared" "And it will be the return to balance." "Finally to balance" "A kiss, my dear friend" "Ok, see you later" "Should I open it?" "Is the book!" "Look, is the book." "You are on the cover" "It smells great" "Is for you" "I'm going to show it to mom" "Why...why..." "why can't I be happy with this life?" "I'm going to give you a tranquilizer" "Why do I want to die?" "Why do I want to die?" "Give me two more Manuela." "Manuela, for crying out loud, two more pills are not going to kill me" "Give me two more" "You'll feel better soon" " How do you feel?" " Fine" "What time is it?" "11:00 am." "I didn't want to wake you up today" "The girl from Boiro has called three times already" "What did she want?" "She says she has to talk to you about something important" " For her it is always important" " Dial the number for me please" "Are you going to call her?" "Why don't you wait for her to call back?" "But she can barely pay her phone bill." "Dial the number please" "Of course Ramon." "You always so kind" " Ramon?" " What's going Rosa?" "I need to see you." "I have to talk to you" " You said I should call you before visiting you" " Yes." "Did something happened?" "Can I come now?" "Look Ramon, you said you had a plan or something" "That you had figured out a way of doing what you want to do, if the judges decided against you" "Yes, Rosa, but I already asked you to forgive me, right?" "I told you to forget about it" "Yes." "But I can't" "I can't, you know" "Because last month the audience said no." "And you are still thinking about doing it" "Is that what worries you?" "That I get my way?" " So, are you going to do it?" " Is not that easy, Rosa." "But don't worry" "You will be the last person to find out." "Ramon..." "Is that I realized..." "I understood what you said in Corunna." ""The person that really loves me will be the one to help me"" "I'm completely sure about what I feel Ramon" "I love you" "Do you want me to help you?" "Rosa..." "I'm not joking Ramon." "Do you want me to help you?" "But what are you going to tell him?" "Jose wait..." "Did you hear me!" "I will not allow this" "And what are you going to do?" "Strap me to the bed?" "Or are you going to fill me with sleeping pills like they used to do at the hospital?" " No one is going to prevent me of getting out of here" " I will" " Not even you" " I will" "Will see about that!" "Or is it that I mean nothing in this house?" "I am the older brother I am the head of the family" "Do you think that means anything to me?" "At my age?" "For me what counts is what people have in their heads, and you have nothing in yours" "I will not be a slave of your ignorance anymore or of your prude conscience" "An what about me?" "I am also a slave" "How do you think I felt when I left the sea?" "All my life here, living out of this fucking orchard" "To be with you." "To be only with you" "Me, my wife and my son." "All slaves!" " Hello" " Hello" " Your uncle is going to Boiro" " Boiro?" "What for?" "To spend some time there, he says" "He's leaving with that woman, Rosa" " Are they getting married?" " No they're not" "What is that about you leaving?" "For how long?" "I want to give you my book." "It's over there." " But aren't there any more, or what?" " Yes of course, but that one is the first copy" "Open it at the bookmark" " "To my son"?" " Yes." "Read it please." "To my son" "Forgive me son for not being born" "It wasn't my fault to leave you behind" "It were the roses the ones afraid" "Forgive me for not had been able to play with you" "I don't know if you were born after I passed" "Remember always that I still love you" "Give a kiss to your mother from me" "And don't keep any resentments towards me" "Is not good to hate." "So...did you get it?" " Yes" " Let's see" "Well, it's about a son you never had and this is like you are speaking to him" "And you ask for forgiveness for not having him" "Ok." "But what did I added down there?" " "To Javier"" " So?" " So what?" "Don't you see what I'm trying to say?" "But I'm not your son" "Of course not..." "But if I'm dedicating you that poem, is for a reason, no?" "But I'm not your son" "I don't know what is that they teach you at school." "Get out of here." "Get out." "You are all so weird" "Ramon?" "How are you?" "Wait a moment, I can't hear you" " Tell me dear" " I'm leaving tomorrow" "Yes, Rosa told me this afternoon." "I'm sure you are impatient" "A little" "Hey Ramon, I've been researching about that thing you know..." " What?" " Well that thing..." " The powder?" "Yes, the powder." "You have to calculate an exact dose of 200 mg." "But it is probable that it is a little painful...just so you know." "Gené." "I think is best if you forget about all this." "It worries me that someday you could be implicated in this." "In fact, that's why I'm calling, I want to say good bye and we shouldn't talk again" "Is for your security." "You shouldn't even talk to Mark about this." " Yes, yes." "I understand." "So this is farewell." " Is better this way" "Ok, ok...ok." "Let me tell you something..." "Ramon, think it through all the times that is necessary." "Don't feel pressured." "I mean, don't do it to set an example or to not disappoint the public, or us or the association" "No one is pushing you to do it, do you understand me?" " Do you understand me Ramon?" " Not you too, Gené, please" " I'm sorry Ramon" " Goodbye Gené" "Have a nice journey, partner." "Good bye Manuela... and you Javi, please be good" "I understood what you meant with the poem" "Come here a moment" "Give me a hug" "Do me favor." "Take care of your grandpa" "Well Ramon, here we go." "Can you close the door, kid?" "Come on, close it." "What are you going to do in Boiro chief?" "I'm going to the beach." "For a change of view." "A change of view?" "That's great" "This is the best I could find with the money you gave me." "And I told them about the view." "Do you like it?" " Where do I sign?" " What for?" " To marry you." "He fell asleep" "Of course." "Since I don't move at all." "Ramon." "If there's really life after death..." "I know this is going to sound foolish, but..." " Please send me a sign?" " A sign?" "Anything." "I never was scared of spirits." "I will be very alert." "Waiting." "Will you do it?" "Of course." "But, between you and me, I think that after we die there's nothing." "Just like before we are born." "Nothing" "How can you be so sure Ramon?" "No one knows that" "No I'm not sure." "Is just a feeling." "Is like when my father looks at the sky and says "Tomorrow is going to rain" and it does" "Is a feeling." "But there's something you shouldn't forget." "I'm going to be in your dreams" "I'm going to come at night to your bed and we will make love" "And in case I don't tell you in your dreams I tell you now" "Thanks Rosa, from the bottom of my heart." "Thanks" "Judges, political and religious authorities." "What does dignity mean to you?" "Whatever the answer of your conscience know that for me, this is not a worthy life." "I would have liked to at least die with dignity" "Today, tired of the institutional laziness, I see myself forced to do it in hiding, like a criminal" "You should know that the processes conducting to my death has been carefully divided in small actions that do not constitute a crime by themselves and have been executed by several friendly hands if even then, the state insists in punishing my helpers" "I would suggest that you cut their hands, because that is all that they contributed" "The head, I mean the conscience was provided by me" "As you can see, to my side I have a glass of water that contains a dose of potassium cyanide" "when I drink it I will cease to exist relinquishing my most precious property." "My body" "I believe that living is a right not an obligation, as has been in my case forced to accept this sad situation during 28 years, 4 months and some days" "After all this time I make a balance of the road traveled and I can't account for the happiness" "Only the time that passed against my will, during most of my life will be my ally from now on" "Only time and the evolution of consciences will decide one day if my request was reasonable or not." "Well..." "It's hot..." " And Mark, is he coming?" " He is with our son on the beach." "He loves the sea" " They can't be thinking about getting in" " No!" "It's too cold" " How are you?" " Fine" " Is she going to understand me?" " Yes..." " I mean, does she still follow conversations and such" " Yes, yes." "Sometimes is a little difficult, but.." " Well..." "I'll go see her, see you later" " See you later" "Hello Julia" "Hello." "How are you?" " Fine, and you?" " Well...here" "You have a very nice house." "Very beautiful" "Well, you know that Ramon left me many letters." "I think that he had fun leaving writings around after he died" "The thing is that the other day" "I found this letter for you." "Ramon who?" "Ramon Sampedro..." "Your friend" "I introduced you two." "Do you remember?" "You?" "Yes" "It's very nice in here." "Out to sea, Out to sea" "And in the weightlessness of the bottom where dreams come true two wills come together to make a wish come true" "Your look and my look like an echo repeating, without words" "Deeper, Deeper beyond everything through the blood and the bones" "But I always wake up and I always wish I'd be dead to stay with my mouth entangled in your hair"