"CHIEF:" "Hey, Chet." "CHET:" "Oh, hey, Chief." "CHIEF:" "You know, I've been meaning to ask you, what do you do in your spare time?" "CHET:" "Oh, I like to build immersive Halloween mazes for the neighborhood kids." "CHIEF:" "Oh." "OWEN:" "You know, according to Omni Magazine, it's only a matter of time before they shrink us down to microscopic size and we can perform surgery from the inside." "CAT:" "Owen, wake up and smell the program." "Everything's already been invented." "OWEN:" "Maybe you're right." "CAT: [ Gasps ] Oh, God!" "Your hair!" "What the hell?" "CHIEF:" "Oh, God." "When did that happen?" "OWEN:" "Oh, my new perm." "It's pretty powerful, right?" "CAT:" "No, no, no." "You do not get to do that." "I mean, why would a man do such a thing to his hair?" "CHIEF:" "I know." "It's arrogant." "CAT:" "Thank you." "BLAKE:" "What are we talking about?" "CAT:" "Owen's got a new look." "It's atrocious." "Wait till you see it." "CHIEF:" "Spoiler alert..." "it's a perm." "BLAKE:" "Right, right, right." "Oh, because..." "Owen's spoiled." "Like, he's a spoiled brat, and that's why he got a perm." "[ Laughing ]" "[ Sighs ]" "CAT:" "You don't know what "spoiler alert" means, do you?" "BLAKE:" "Of course I do." "I know all the current expressions, and I know how to use them, and I can communicate just like you guys." "Watch." ""Mm." "That's too much information..." "on this."" "CHIEF:" "God, I hate Owen." "Let's punish him." "CAT:" "I have an idea, but it involves a staggering commitment of time and resources far out of proportion to the problem at hand." "CHIEF:" "I'm in!" "What's the idea?" "CAT:" "Weren't you telling me that Chet likes to design immersive Halloween mazes for neighborhood kids or something?" "CHIEF:" "[ Gasps ]" "BLAKE:" "Mm." "Hey, Glenn." "Glad I caught you." "Listen, I got this bilateral craniotomy this afternoon, and I'm like, "Don't go there."" "Will you do it for me?" "GLENN:" "That's a tough procedure, Blake." "BLAKE:" "Well, yeah, but not for you." "I mean, you're the best." "[ Both laugh ]" "GLENN:" "Blake, I..." "I..." "I..." "I can't lie anymore." "I'm not the best." "I'm not even the good." "BLAKE:" "Oh." "Oh, okay." "Uh, I'm..." "I'm..." "I'm listening to you." "You can tell that because I'm making eye contact with you and I'm nodding." "GLENN:" "Blake, I'm gonna tell you a secret." "And I know I can trust you because you're probably not listening to me." "I'm a terrible surgeon." "That's the truth." "The real surgeon is Chilli, my pet mouse who lives underneath my yarmulke." "By pulling on my hair, he guides my hands." "BLAKE:" "Like the movie "Ratatouille"?" "GLENN:" "That's right." "Exactly like that." "Exactly like the movie "Ratatouille."" "BLAKE:" "Glenn, that mouse is dead." "GLENN:" "What?" "Oh, my God!" "Chilli!" "No!" "BLAKE:" "Spoiler alert?" "CHIEF:" "This kid's in bad shape." "We're gonna need to do something... experimental." "CAT:" "Are you suggesting we try the prototype micro-miniaturization machine?" "We're gonna need a doctor to be our micronaut." "CHIEF:" "And it can't be me because of the high levels of cocaine in my system." "OWEN:" "Excuse me." "If I heard you correctly, we have a machine that can shrink a man down and insert him into the human body?" "CHIEF:" "That's right." "Thanks to a grant from Omni Magazine." "OWEN:" "Omni?" "They're the best." "CAT:" "With Omni, science fiction can become science fact." "I know this because I read it while on the toilet." "CHIEF:" "But we don't have a volunteer." "Oh!" "OWEN:" "I know someone." "Both:" "Who?" "OWEN:" "He's 6'2" with the looks of a Greg Kinnear type, and his name is me..." "Dr. Owen Maestro." "DORI:" "Oh, my God!" "Your perm!" "Oh, my God!" "[ Glass shatters ]" "Oh, my God!" "[ Screaming, crashing ]" "Hey!" "What are you doing?" "!" "DORI:" "Get out of the car!" "[ Car door slams, tires screech ]" "[ Tires screech, crashing ]" "[ Chicken clucks ]" "CAT:" "Okay, I need to warn you." "This whole experience is gonna be very, very painful and very, very embarrassing." " Are you ready?" " OWEN:" "Yes, I am." "CAT:" "In order for us to shrink you down and inject you into this little boy, we're gonna need to sandpaper your skin." "OWEN:" "Why?" "CHIEF:" "Dead skin cells slow down the miniaturization process." "You read Omni, right?" "OWEN:" "Of course." "Aah!" "Such intense pain!" "It's so embarrassing!" "It's just as you described!" "CHIEF:" "Next, you have to eat this entire stick of unsalted butter." "OWEN:" "[ Groans, gags ]" " All of it?" " CHIEF:" "All of it!" "CAT:" "This is so great!" "CHIEF:" "I'm having such a good time with you right now." "Hey, are you on Google Plus?" "CHET:" "Once he finishes the unsalted butter, we will send him on an immersive journey through the "human body."" "CAT:" "Do you think he'll buy it?" "CHET:" "I've been building haunted houses in my basement for neighborhood kids every Halloween for the past three years." "I think I've picked up a few tricks along the way." "GLENN:" "Chilli, you were... you were a good mouse and an even better surgeon." "Take care of yourself, little buddy." "[ Breathes deeply ]" "Blake, is there anything you'd like to say?" "BLAKE:" "That's what she said." "GLENN:" "I need to head back and write my letter of resignation, so..." "BLAKE:" "I'm not gonna go with you." "I want to..." "I want to stay out here." "GLENN:" "Why?" "BLAKE:" "I'm better off living in the woods, okay?" "I just don't fit in up there." "[ Breathes deeply ]" "I don't know." "I mean..." "What do you think?" "GLENN:" "Oh." "That sounds about right." "I'll see you around." "CHET:" "In a few moments, we'll start the shrinking process." "OWEN:" "Let's make history." "CHET:" "Step into the miniaturization pod." "OWEN:" "Almost reminds me of a prop from an immersive Halloween maze." "CHET:" "Oh, are you into that sort of thing?" "CHIEF:" "Chet, calm down!" "CHET:" "Initiating miniaturization." "Mr. Winslow, you're on." "[ Imitates energy noises ]" "OWEN:" "Whoa." "Whoa!" "Uh-oh!" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Something's happening!" "I-I'm being shaken around a little bit." "Whoa!" "I-I-I think I'm being shrunk down!" "[ Electricity crackles ]" "Aah!" "That feels like a very painful electric shock!" "CHET:" "Okay." "The miniaturization process is now complete." "We are now injecting you into the patient's bloodstream." "OWEN:" "Ohh!" "Close the curtains!" "OWEN:" "Oh, my God." "It's breathtaking." "I have made my way to the carotid artery." "[ Imitating heart beating ]" "OWEN:" "I can actually hear the beating of the human heart." "I need to figure out what I'm gonna wear to the Nobel Prize ceremony." "CHIEF:" "[ Laughs ]" "Oh!" "I can't remember the last time I had this much fun." "You're really special." " CAT:" "This is fun, yeah." " CHIEF:" "Yeah." "CHET:" "Okay, my readings indicate that you're in a pure-air environment." "Owen, you can take off your helmet if you want to." "OWEN:" "[ Breathes deeply ]" "This is exactly what I always imagined the inside of a young boy would smell like." "CHIEF:" "Heads up, Owen." "The patient just took a sip of scalding hot tea." "Now!" "OWEN:" "[ Screams ]" "My perm!" "And my flesh!" "Why would the patient be drinking tea right now?" "!" " CHET: [ Hisses ]" " OWEN: [ Screams ]" "CHIEF:" "Chet!" "CAT:" "Uh, what's he doing?" "OWEN:" "The patient has Draculas!" "I am terrified right now!" "Abort the procedure!" "Code red!" "Code red!" "[ Shouts, body thuds ]" "CAT:" "Oh, dear." "CHIEF:" "Oh, God." "Oh, no." "Uh-oh." "CAT:" "Okay." "Just..." "Okay." "Owen!" "CHIEF:" "Oh, God." "He's in stage-four cardiac arrest." "He needs to go to surgery, now!" "Prep the O.R.!" "OWEN:" "I want..." "Glenn." "He's the best." "[ Echoing ] Glenn's the best." "GLENN:" ""I, Dr. Glenn Richie, hereby resign due to the fact that I have no ability to perform surgery."" "CAT:" "Glenn, there's an emergency!" "Chief will explain!" "CHIEF:" "Owen's had a heart attack!" "He's requested you!" "GLENN:" "No, I won't do it." "I can't do it." "BLAKE:" "Yes, you can." "I was in the woods, and it all became clear to me." "Your mouse has been dead for weeks." "Look." "GLENN:" "You're right." "Chilli has been dead for weeks." " BLAKE:" "I wrote it down." " GLENN:" "You wrote it down." "I've been performing so many surgeries, I..." "I must've forgotten to feed him." "Wait." "That means... that I performed all those surgeries... by myself." "CHIEF:" "Exactly." "Those skills were always in you." "You just need to learn to do it without the mouse." "GLENN:" "Let's scrub up." "[ Monitors beeping ]" "GLENN:" "And we're closed." "[ Applause ]" "[ Chuckles ]" "CHIEF:" "You did it again, Glenn." "You are still very much our best surgeon." "GLENN:" "Well, this time, I had a little help." "Ah-ah!" "Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah." "[Laughs]" "Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah..." "Ah." "Not from my dead mouse... but from a very live human being." "Blake, I'm proud to call you my friend." "CHIEF:" "And I have really enjoyed this day that you and I have had together, Cat." "CAT:" "I feel like you're pushing it just a tiny bit now." "CHIEF:" "Fair enough." "OWEN:" "And I owe you all an apology." "It was wrong of me to get a new hairstyle." "CAT:" "Yeah." "OWEN:" "And I totally understand how it was necessary for you guys to go to the lengths you did to show that to me." "Anything less than a totally immersive human body experience," "I probably wouldn't have gotten the message." "CHET:" "Look, I've been making these things since 2010, so I think I have some idea of what I'm doing." "[ Laughter ]" "GLENN:" "Blake, you want to join us at the noodle house tonight?" "BLAKE:" "Spoiler alert..." "I'll be there." "[ Laughter ]" "GLENN:" "What a perfect phrase for the situation." "BLAKE:" "Spoiler alert..." "I'll be there." "[ Breathes deeply ]" "I'll be there." "GLENN:" "Hmm?" "BLAKE:" "I'll be there." " GLENN:" "What?" " BLAKE:" "I'll be there." "I have to get out of this one thing." "If I can't, I will still try and make an appearance." "[ Imitates static ] And now the news." "[ Imitates static ]" "Big light in sky..." "[ Imitates static ]" "Scalding hot water on young..." "[ Imitates static ]" "And now a commercial." "Mm-mmm." "Oh, yeah, baby." "It's all about lo..."