"Padre." "Padre Polenta." " Who is that?" " It's Fabio, Padre." "Fabio della Romagna." "I've come from Montefalcone, and I want to ring the bells." "Fabio, have you been drinking?" "There is great news, Padre." "Important news." "A great thing has happened today." "A great thing for us, a great thing for Italy." "Benito Mussolini, the tyrant, he is gone!" "Don't you understand?" "Mussolini is gone!" "It's the greatest day in all the history of Italy!" "I'm sorry." "If you can't even see what it means, then excuse me." "I should not have bothered to come home and tell you." "Listen." "Listen, you town of jackasses!" "How many of you would like to sink your foot in Copa's fascist backside?" "That's what it means." "The end of the Fascists." "The end of Copa and Francucci and Bara and Mazzola." "After 20 years, no more cheating on the grape scales, you dumb bastards." "Hey, Babbaluche." "There he is!" "Cosimo Francucci!" "Well, what are you waiting for?" "I offer you the big fat ass of Cosimo Francucci." "That's all they know, these heroes." "First, they play up to the Fascists, now they kick them in the behind." "Come on." "Here." "Hey, sit down over here, huh?" " See that they pay." " Yeah, they'll pay!" "I said, see that they pay, and I mean it." "The trouble with Rosa is she lacks a sense of history." "All right." "We'll drink to the free city of Santa Vittoria." " But what will happen now, Fabio?" " I think the Germans will come." "To Santa Vittoria?" "Well, why should they come here?" "To grab everything they can." "There is nothing in Santa Vittoria for the Germans." "There is nothing in Santa Vittoria for the Italians!" " Did they pay?" " Yeah, they paid." "Let's see the money if they paid." "Rosa, this is a historic day." "You don't ask for money on a day like this." "You don't accept money on a day like this." "I do." "I accept money because this is my house, my wine, my shop." "I invited none of you, so go on, get out of here." "Out." "Hey, out!" "Out!" "You know what I think, Bombolini?" "I think you should put your fist in her mouth." "Just once." "Luigi's right, Bombolini." "It's a sad house where the cock is silent and the hen does all the crowing." "Hey." "Fabio!" "Fabio!" "Fabio!" "Fabio!" "Fabio!" " Angela." "What is it?" "What's the matter?" " It's Papa!" "He's going to be killed!" " Who's going to kill him?" " He's going to kill himself!" "Bombolini, what are you doing up there?" "Don't jump!" "What do you want?" "Go on home!" "Go on home!" "There is no more Mussolini!" "Bring the old fool down!" "What do you want?" "Go on home." "Go on home." "Your lunch is ready." "Fabio's gone to get him down." "He has a rope." "If he wants to kill himself, let him." "He will do me a big favor." "Fabio, what are you doing here?" "Angela asked me." "She was afraid you might need a little help." "I do." "I want to paint out Mussolini, but I'm so tired" "I can't even lift the brush." "Oh, I must have been crazy to come up here." "Who was the idiot who painted it in the first place?" "You won't believe it." "I was." "I'm sorry." "Fabio, do me a favor, huh?" "You paint him out." "Go on, you paint him out." "It's all right." "It's all right." "I'm all right." "Okay." "Okay." "Oh, Fabio, he was so beautiful at first." "He was promises for us." "He was going to help us build a school, build roads." "We were going to plant the hillside in grass and trees." "This tower to give us free water." "Oh, the miracles of Benito Mussolini." "Then Copa's Fascisti come in." "Francucci cut the flour in the bread in half." "Mazzola took over this tower and charged us for the water!" "With Mussolini gone, they are finished." "The people remember that I was the biggest fool of all." "They despise me." "Nobody despises you." "Everybody despises the big fool Bombolini." "Rosa, my wife, everybody." "Those people down there, why do you think they're down there?" "They want to see me fall, that's why!" " Oh, that's not true." " That's true, Fabio." "It's true." "All right, the big fool Bombolini is going to make a big splash for you." "Italian Fascism is finished." "Italian Fascism is finished." "And so are we." "Mayor Copa, I could offer a suggestion." "Before they come and take what they want, give them what they want." " Surrender?" " Before they become violent" " and they come after you." " It's an idea." " We surrender on our own terms." " On your own terms." " On our own terms." " On your own terms." " It's all right." " All right." "It's time to go." "Fabio." "Fabio, you'll never do it." "I used up all my strength, just getting up here." "Of course we'll do it." "I'll tie you to the pipe, so you can't fall, whatever happens." " Yes." " Then you put your feet on the spikes, and I move the rope one spike at a time." "All right?" "All right." "All right." " Fabio, it won't work." " Of course it'll work." "Just be careful." "Now, come on." " All right." "Fabio, I'm going down." " Yes." " I'm going down, Fabio." " Yes." "I'm going down." "Fabio will save him, Mama." "You'll see." "Impossible." "The old fool will kill himself, that's all." "Mama." "Maybe, for once, he's finished!" "I have no more tears left for that man." "I cried my guts out the day he put up all that nonsense." "Up with Mussolini!" "Down with Mussolini!" "Yes, no, yes, no!" "He's been doing it for 16 years!" "He wanted to be so much, he would go so far, he would rise so high in the world." "Well, take a look." "He's arrived." "That clown!" "He's 100 feet above the rest of us, drunk, drunk as always, hanging by one foot from paradise." "He's finished." "And I, your mother, Rosa Casamassima, to-my-shame, Bombolini," "I tell you that I don't care." "I don't care!" "I just don't care!" " Fabio, what are you doing with the rope?" " I have to take it off to get over the bar." " You're not going to leave me here, Fabio." " You're safe." "You're safe." " I don't feel safe!" " You're very..." "Bombolini!" "Fabio!" "Fabio!" "Fabio." "Fabio." "Fabio, I almost got killed." " Fabio, please help." " I've got you." "I've got you." "Fabio, I almost got killed." " Bombolini." " What?" " Get going!" " Oh, no, I..." "I can't move." " Come on." " Fabio, I can't move!" " Come on!" " I'm paralyzed." "I'm paralyzed!" "Viva Bombolini!" "Viva Bombolini!" "Viva Bombolini!" "Viva Bombolini!" "Viva Bombolini!" "Bombolini!" "Bombolini!" "We are coming down!" "Bombolini!" "Bombolini!" " Bombolini!" " Bombolini!" "Italo Bombolini, the wine seller." " I don't believe it." " Impossible." "If that crazy mob has chosen Bombolini, then you'll have to deal with Bombolini." "He is an idiot!" "Bombolini!" "He is an idiot." "Bombolini!" "Free wine for the people of Santa Vittoria!" "To the piazza!" "Signorltalo Bombolini and good citizens!" "By the powers vested in me by the government of the city of Santa Vittoria," "I have the honor to surrender to you the symbol of all authority!" "I accept." "But first..." "But first it is necessary to ask for your solemn vow that the persons and the property of those who have gone before you will be given full respect!" "All right, I agree." "In exchange for that solemn vow, it is my honor to place the medallion of the office of mayor around your honored and distinguished neck." "Up." "Good citizens of Santa Vittoria, I present to you your new leader," "His Honor, the most excellent Mayor, Italo Bombolini!" " Citizens of Santa Vittoria..." " Bombolini!" " What?" "What?" " What do we do with the Fascists?" " Arrest them!" "Arrest them!" " Arrest them!" "Arrest them!" "And now on to the wine!" "Hey, Rosa Casamassima Bombolini." "Rosa." "Rosa Bombolini." " What do you want?" " Rosa, open the gates." "You drunken clown, go away from here." "And take these bums with you!" "Woman, I tell you to open the gates." "I open no gates to a mob of idiots." "This is no mob." "These are the citizens of Santa Vittoria!" "And I order you to open those gates." " Order?" "You order?" " Yes." "You order me?" "As the Mayor of the free city of Santa Vittoria!" "Up the fat you-know-what of the Mayor of the free city of Santa Vittoria." "All right, take it down." " Rosa, what's the matter with you?" " Why did you stop singing, huh?" " Rosa!" " How's that?" " And that!" " I'm the Mayor of Santa..." " You should be proud of me." " Proud of what?" "I'm the Mayor." "Rosa." "A drunk elected by a mob." "Of this I should be proud, huh?" " I was elected by public acclaim!" " I'll be proud of you!" "I'll be proud of you!" "Not on the head." "Rosa, please, not on the head." "Rosa." "Hey, Rosa, come on." "Did you see me on the tower, huh?" " Tower?" " Yeah." "They had to tie you up like a salami to get you down." "Oh, I like you when you're like this." "Oh, you couldn't fall and break your neck, no." "Rosa." "Rosa..." " I'm too unlucky for that!" " It reminds me of our honeymoon!" " Rosa, please." " But that?" "I'm too unlucky for that." " Take that!" " Please, I told you, not in the head." "Rosa!" "Destroy my shop!" "You're a bum drunk..." " Rosa, I'll fix it!" "Not there, Rosa!" " Take that!" "Not there, Rosa!" "Rosa..." " If you hit me once more..." " Me, too." " ..." "I'm gonna get mad." " Yeah?" "Yeah." "Rosa." "Mayor." "Some Mayor!" "Get out." "Get out of the house, huh?" "Get out of my life forever." "You destroyed my shop, you drank my wine!" "Just stay out of my sight, because every time, every time I see you," "I will make you remember this historic day!" "Out!" "Out!" " Rosa, I'm going to..." " What?" "Out!" "You know what Rosa said?" "She said that tomorrow, when the town has sobered up, they will want me to resign." "That's what she said." "Rosa is a loudmouthed bitch." "No offense, Italo." "The trouble is, to all the important men in Santa Vittoria," "I'm just a clown." "BOMBOLINl:" "A big, stupid clown." " Don't deny it." " Who could deny it?" "I'm not going to accept that." "That would be an insult to me." "What are you going to do?" "I will issue an official statement, something simple and dignified." ""You can take this job and shove it up your ass. "" "That would be the finest moment in Italian history." "Still, you know, for once..." "Maybe I..." "Maybe I could do something." "For once, I could make Angela proud of me." "Even Rosa." "Hey." "Hey, I..." "Maybe I could appoint a grand council." "A..." "Who?" "They all hate each other." "Pietrosanto hates Benedetti," "Pulci hates Bracolini, everybody hates everybody in this town." "I will give all the big shots a big title." "Minister of this, Minister of that!" "They will support me, or lose their title!" "Bombolini, you may be the Machiavelli of Santa Vittoria." "Who?" "Machiavelli." "Yes, Machiavelli." "The Prince." "It's a book about power, how to get it and keep it." "Machiavelli." "Niccolò Machiavelli!" "The Prince." "The Ruler." "The Mayor." "Yeah, that's me." "BOMBOLINl:" "Minister of Finance, Antonio Benedetti." "For Master of Scales, Vincenzo Pulci." "Head of Affairs for the Aged, Matteo Bracolini." "Minister of Public Works, Luigi Lungo." "Minister of Culture, Fabio della Romagna." "Head of the Cooperative Wine Seller, Amadeo Gorsetti." "Head of Department of Music and..." "And..." "And Allied Arts, Giuseppe Capoferro." "Vatican Correspondent, Padre Polenta." "Minister of Sanitation, Giovanni Pietrosanto." "Director of Protocol, Fabrizzio Vittorini." "And last but not least," "Minister without portfolio, Hugo Babbaluche." "Members of the Grand Council, a great Italian, Niccolò Machiavelli, once said," ""The first impression one gets of a new ruler and his brains" ""is from seeing the men he has chosen to have around him. "" "Gentlemen, if you look at it like that, I submit..." "I submit, anybody may say, Bombolini is a genius." "I mean..." "Viva Bombolini!" "He may look like a clown, but he acts like a real leader of men." "Inside that bastard a clown lives, and sooner or later, the clown will come out, because a clown is a clown and will always be a clown!" "It's the Malatesta woman." "She's back." " Caterina Malatesta." " The snotty one." "Things must be pretty bad in Rome for the Fascists." " She'd cut the eggs off a man." " It would almost be worth it." "I'm sorry you're going, but of course I understand you have to go." " If I didn't, I could lose my place." " No, we mustn't have that." "It's important for Santa Vittoria to have one young man at the university." " Hey, Angela, Fabio's leaving." " I know." "Thank you." " I've done your other shirt." " Thank you." "You know what Pulci said to me last night?" "He said Fabio must keep his seat on the council even when he's away at school." "After all, you're the only minister we have who's gone past the fourth grade." "Goodbye." "Goodbye." "Bye." " You're sorry to see him go, too, huh?" " I always cry when Fabio goes." "Of course, he's like a brother to you." "I don't love him like a brother." "I love him like a woman." "Angela, my child, you're too young to think such things." "That's what Fabio thinks, that I am a child." " He's right." " But I am 16 years old!" " You're only 16..." " And I have the breasts of a woman." " Angela, please." " And at night, when I'm in my bed," " my breasts ache for Fabio!" " Don't do that!" "And I only want to be with him!" "You mustn't say such things!" "I can't help it, Papa!" "The time has come for you to instruct your daughter in the ways of the world!" "Angela, please ask your father what the hell he's talking about." "Angela, I want your mother to teach you two things, the beauty of women, and the danger of men." "I mean, it's your job, not mine!" "All right, what is it?" "Are you sick?" "You look sick." "Hey, why are you sweating all over?" "What's wrong?" "Talk to your mother." " It's Fabio, Mama." " Fabio." "When I see Fabio, I love him so much, I can't help sweating." "Well, I understand, believe me, my little girl." "I understand you." "You see Fabio even in your soup." "Yes, Mama, yes." "And when I talk to him, I can't help it, the juices flow inside..." " What?" " The juices, Mama." "You can hit me all you like, but that doesn't change anything." "You are a woman, Mama, and so am I." "It's time you taught me everything you know." "Know?" "What do I know after a life with your father?" "I fell in love with him at once without even thinking." "Only because he was handsome, strong, happy, with his big, beautiful hands." "And he smiled." "He smiled like a row of angels!" "I told my parents I want that man in my bed, only him." "My father should have hit me over the head with a bottle." "But I don't want to marry Papa." "I want to marry Fabio." "I had him in bed." "I had him and that was all." "Drunk." "Drunk every day from 12 noon to 4:00 in the morning." "And the rest of the time, snoring like a jackass!" "Please, Mama, for the love of God, all I want is a little information." "Information?" "Hey." "Hey!" "Here!" "You see!" "Mama, I know what that means." "You know?" "Hey, Roberto, what is it?" "What's happening?" " They're occupying all the towns." " What about Santa Vittoria?" "Santa Vittoria on the 17th." "Dr. Bara's away and this is a matter of life and death, Contessa." "Everything in Italy is a matter of life and death." "This man left the army to come home to die." " This way." " Then let him die." "Don't bother him, and why bother me?" "Well, you worked in a hospital in Rome, no?" " Oh, I changed bedpans." " Well, every little bit helps." "But I have no bandages, no disinfectants, nothing." "Please." "Tufa." "Tufa, the Contessa's come to help you." "Grenade?" "Bombolini tells me you're a good man." "How can you be a Fascist and a good man at the same time?" "It's not easy, huh, Tufa?" "This place is very dirty." " He could die in here." " He's not going to die." "I'm sure you can walk." "Get up." "Come on, get up." " Where am I going?" " Where?" "He can come with me." "Oh, that's nice." "You can go with the Contessa, Tufa." "My people are dead." "One place is as good as another." "All right, one, two, three." " Seven." " Five." "Six." " All right." " All right." "One, two, three." "Zero." " One." " Two." " Bombolini!" "Bombolini!" "Mayor Bombolini!" " Fabio!" "All right." "Bombolini." "Bombolini." "Fabio, what are you doing here?" "Why aren't you at school?" "The Germans." "The Germans are coming, Bombolini!" "Are you sure?" "I keep coming back with important news, and either it doesn't mean anything, or nobody believes it!" "5:00, Tuesday afternoon!" "Units of the German Army!" "So, let them come." "What else can we do?" "They are coming to take the wine!" "Vines!" "Vines!" "Hey, old man!" "Where are you?" "Where are you?" "Vines!" "Where the hell are you?" "This is a nervous wine." "If you talk loud, or curse, it can go sour." "Listen..." "Listen, how many bottles of wine are there?" "One million three hundred and seventeen thousand, more or less." " One million..." " One million..." " ... three hundred..." " ... three hundred..." " ... and seventeen thousand." " ... and seventeen thousand." "More or less." " Julietta!" " Coming." "Coming, Contessa." "It's time for your bath." "You're very shy for a captain of infantry." "I wash only in the most modest places." "Julietta, see who it is." " Normal." " I'm feeling better." " I can go." " As you like." "Julietta put a bed downstairs." "You can stay here until you find a place." "Thank you." "I beg your pardon." "Am I disturbing your..." " Your privacy, Contessa?" " Not mine, no." " Come in, Bombolini." " Thank you." "Thank you." "Have you..." "Have you heard about our terrible crisis?" "Give your wine to the Germans." "By the time they drink it up, the war will be over." "Contessa, without our wine we are nothing." "Tufa, you understand that." "You worked on the vines since you were this high, like the rest of us." "Excuse me." "I thought maybe..." "Maybe you might have an idea." "There's only one place in Santa Vittoria where it's mathematically possible to hide one million bottles." "Mathematically." "If only I had a mind like his!" "Mathematically." "Take the wine out of the cooperative and put it down in the old Roman cave." "That's a wonderful idea, except we already thought of it, so maybe it's not such a wonderful idea, because if we thought of the Roman cave, and you thought of the Roman cave, so will the Germans think of the Roman cave." "You can hide the wine in the Roman cave in such a way that all the Germans will see is an empty cave." "Oh, Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" " But I haven't told you yet." " It doesn't matter!" "Prayers are never wasted." "Now, we all know the cave is useless, so we won't use the cave." "The cave is useless." "So we won't use the cave." " Then what the hell are we doing here?" " We will use the tunnels instead." "You are crazy, Italo." "Look at the room in there." "There's enough room for all the wine in Italy." "And there are four of them." "Four of them!" "So, my friends, I follow the advice of my master, Niccolò Machiavelli." ""Things are never what they seem. "" "We will brick up the tunnels as if they never existed." "So when the Germans come marching in they will see exactly what there is, an empty Roman cave." "Huh?" "Huh?" "Huh?" "The clown is right." "Our wine is saved." "Do you hear that, you miserable Germans?" "Our wine, the blood of our labor, is saved!" "Saved!" "Saved!" " Pull that wagon!" " Pull that wagon!" " Get the wagons out of there!" " Get those wagons out..." "Stop the fighting, you bastards!" " Those mules!" " Those mules!" " Move those mules!" " Move those mules!" " Shut up!" " Shut up!" "Hey, you!" "Tell the Mayor of the free city of Santa Vittoria that it's no good." "It won't work." "It's impossible!" " What do you know?" " You'd better think of something else." "Bombolini." "Bombolini." "Stop them!" "No more bottles!" "Get all the animals out of here, and tell the people to go home." "Tell them to go home?" "All of them, the people, the animals, the wagons." "Tell them to go home." " What do you mean, everything..." " Bombolini, this won't work." "This won't work." "All right, Bombolini, you can start them going." " Start them going!" " Start them going!" "Now!" "Yeah." "It's working." "It's working!" "Tufa, you made it work." "Bombolini, you won't be able to keep four lines going." "Make three, then two, and the children and old women, let them pick up the glass from the bottles that have dropped." " They haven't dropped any!" " They will." "Every hour, one blast, five minutes rest, then two blasts." "They could use a rest now." " I'll be back later." " Yeah." "Hey!" "Hey." "Well, blow!" " Straighten out that line!" " Straighten out that line!" " Watch that torch!" " Watch that torch!" "You!" "You better be careful." "You lost a lot of blood." "Do you care that much?" "I don't think I care too much about anything." "It's the wine." "The people of the town." "Maybe." "A peasant is always a peasant, huh?" "And a Malatesta is always a Malatesta, huh?" "We don't forget, people like us." "On the day that you were born, your father gave many presents into the village." "To my father, he gave some coins and a cup of wine." " But how could you remember?" " Because he was insulted." "And when my mother heard he refused the money, she sent me to your house through the back door to say that there was something wrong with my father's head." " How long since your husband was killed?" " Two months." "You don't seem like a woman in mourning." "I'm not." "It wasn't much of marriage." "I liked him." "He liked me." "And then he became a fascist official." "He went one way, I went another." "You feel nothing?" "Nothing." "It's best that way." " I had a dream last night." " I can hardly wait to hear it." "I dreamt we left some wine for the Germans." "What the hell are you talking about?" "We have to leave some wine for the Germans, so they won't look for the rest." "The question is how much?" " Maybe 10,000 bottles." " They know we have more than that." "Twenty-five, then." "Gentlemen, I suggest 40,000." " Jesus, Mary and Joseph." " You penny-pinching bastards." " You'll end up losing all of it." " You have a number to suggest?" "Three hundred thousand bottles." " Three hundred thousand bottles?" " If you want them to believe it." "After all, that's 300,000 less we'll have to move." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah!" "Padre, look, we need your prayers." "Exchange the prayers for the sun, Padre." "There are no prayers for sun." "People always pray for rain!" "When Noah was in the ark, people prayed for rain?" "That was before organized religion." "All they had was God, the poor bastards." "Here, take a rest." "Rosa, how are you?" "Who wants to know?" "You look thin." "Even when they work, the rich don't sweat like the poor." "Or smell like them, either." "What's that?" " Poison." " It smells like paradise." "Rosa, it's nice to have a hot meal before you die." "You aren't going to die." "I'm the Mayor, no?" "The Germans come, I greet them." "They threaten me." "I spit in their face." "They'll put a pistol to my head and blow out my brains." "Why would they put a pistol to your head?" "The whole world knows Bombolini's brains are in his ass." "Make it solid, like a double wall." "Okay, okay." "Some kraut is going to rap on the side of this cave with the butt of his gun." "Is it finished?" "In the morning." "I'm sorry I awakened you." "You didn't." "You've made a peasant out of me after all." "You're laughing at me again." "No." "Waiting like this for you." "I'm laughing at myself this time." "Caterina Malatesta." "From the first moment when you touched me," "I wanted you." "You didn't act like you did." "I was pretending." ""One place is as good as another," you said." "No, I wanted you." "I wanted you like a schoolboy who has just seen the most desirable woman he can remember." "So now, after all, you can be gentle, and not so shy, and not afraid." "I love you for that." "Caterina..." "You and I, we need each other." "Perhaps only for a little while." "Yes." "Without being afraid." "Yes." "Without promises." "Right." "Hey, wait, wait." "To you!" "To you!" "The last..." "The last bottle!" "It's almost time." "Hey, Tufa, should I change clothes?" "Wear what you have on." "Be yourself." " What do you say to a German?" " Nothing." "Answer what they ask you." "How do I act?" "I don't know how to act." " Like yourself." " Well, I don't know how I act." "Hey, Tufa, I want you to take command." "I mean, you know what to say." "You know how to act." "Hey!" "Hey, I'll make you mayor." "The people chose you, Bombolini." "Tufa, I'm no mayor." "You're a much better mayor than you think." "Go home, Tufa." "And you'd better stay out of sight." "You don't look like a man who tends grapes anymore." "Welcome to the free city of Santa Vittoria, sir." "We, in this city, know that in times of war, certain..." "Certain things..." " Who are you?" " Italo Bombolini, sir." "Mayor." "I see." "Well, Mayor, I must tell you that this town and the surrounding region for a radius of 30 kilometers are, from this moment, and officially, under German occupation." "Captain, sir, I understand perfectly, sir." "In fact, it is my hope we can find some way of cooperating with the great German Army in a way that will be satisfactory for all of us." "And now, if I may offer you the hospitality of our ancient and historic city hall." "Thank you, no." "I think" "I prefer a house instead." " A house?" " That one will do very well." " Traub!" " Captain." "Notify the occupants of that house with the balcony that we regret the inconvenience to them." "They shall be remunerated accordingly." "But they have 15 minutes to vacate." "Yes, sir." "Um." "Bomble?" "Bombolini, sir." "Yes." " Bombolini." " Bombolini." "Bombolini, who are those people over there?" " Oh, those?" " Yes." "That?" "That is the Grand Council of Santa Vittoria, sir." "You may dismiss the Grand Council." "Yes." "Curfew will be from 9:00 p. m. till sunrise." "And I shall have the pleasure to meet with you again tomorrow morning at 10:00." "Zopf!" "Fix me a decent supper, will you?" "And some wine." "The local wine will do." "Anything else?" " Shut up, everybody!" " Shut up, everybody!" "All right, all right." "Quiet for a word from the butter-nose husband of Rosa Bombolini." "That was uncalled for, Giovanni." "And I will thank you to leave my wife's name out of this." "He's right, Bombolini." "When the Germans came, all I could hear was, "Sir, sir, sir! "" "Everything but "HeilHitler! "" "Shut up!" "We've had enough democracy for a while." "I am the mayor here." "I am the voice of the people!" "What the hell do you know about the people?" "I smell the people, and the people smell me!" "At least no one can argue about that." "An officer and 10 men, and there are 1,200 of us!" "They could send an army here in an hour." "You all shout like heroes." "You're a bunch of grape growers!" "Sometimes a man has to fight!" "Oh, you want to be a martyr." "You go be a martyr somewhere else." "We can't afford martyrs in Santa Vittoria." "As long as the Germans are here and to save our wine, our policy is butter on the nose." "When they push, we give." "They go on pushing, we go on giving." "Every Santa Vittorian has known for the last 1,000 years brave men and good wine," "they don't last long." "It's criminal!" "You keep us locked up." "We don't get enough food." "You tell us nothing." "There's not even a toilet!" "Next time, vote communist." "Gentlemen." "Nice morning, huh?" "Officer, may I?" " Bombolini." " Yes, sir?" "I am considering the question of whether it would be useful to me if you were to remain in office as mayor." "I certainly hope it will be, sir." "I'm pleased with the attitude of your people thus far." "Thank you, sir." "Do you think we are able to work together?" "Yes, sir, I am sure we can." "I know we can." "And we will." "A very, very realistic way of looking at things." "Very mature." "Now, I want a complete inventory of everything in this community." " Yes, sir." " How many people, ages, occupations and..." "Yeah, go ahead." "And savings." "People, occupations, savings, ages." " Savings." " Now, number of houses, total acreage, uh," " complete records of annual yield." " Yield." "Mmm-hmm." "How many mules, oxen, list of all machinery and tools, and..." "Oh, yes, precisely how much wine you have in store here." " Have I said something to disturb you?" " Oh, no, no, no, sir." "It's just that it will take several weeks, maybe months, to get all this information." "There are so many things about you Italians that, for me, are genuinely delightful." "And I'm sure you could be months about this task, but unfortunately I need this information in 48 hours." "Will you do that for me?" "Sir, you do something for me, I will do something for you." "I mean, you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours." "We have a saying. "You lend me your mule, I will lend you my ox! "" "Well," "I have no mule." "And as for scratching your back, I'm not so sure." "However, Bombolini, we'll talk from time to time." "Perhaps we can learn from each other about things." "Yes, sir." "Well, sir, it's..." "I want to say it's..." "I mean..." "It's..." "It's been a great pleasure." "Excuse me, my hat." "Sir, the fact is we don't see this war as our war." "All we want to do is act in a way that will cause us the least harm in the end." " I see." " Excuse." "Well, good day, sir." "Good day." "So I said to Vingolini, "Look, Vingolini, I... "" "Did you see what I saw?" "If there are two people in the world who should never meet, it's the German and your wife Rosa." "Babbaluche, do you think she'll make trouble?" "With Rosa, there's trouble." "Italo Bombolini is your husband?" " I can't deny it." " How does it happen that you are here, and he's there?" "In Santa Vittoria, anything can happen." "If you have a pig with six ears and two bottoms, you say, "Santa Vittoria." "What do you expect?"" "If Germans come here, we say the same thing." "Your manners leave something to be desired." "We didn't invite you here." "Sometimes, it would be a good idea for you to keep your mouth shut." " Bombolini is well rid of you." " Listen, German, the whole town is one big Bombolini." ""Good evening, German Army." "How are you, German Army?"" "The whole town, 1,200 people, 1,200 butter noses!" "But not me." "Not me!" "Signora, even for a woman with your powerful face, you're becoming a little too brave for your own good." "How can you talk to the German like that?" "It's not so hard." "Try to understand my position." "Rosa, Rosa, you could help me." "Rosa, I can't eat." "I can't drink." "I have nightmares." "Just this afternoon, I fell asleep, and I dreamt he asked me how many bottles of wine we had." " Tell him the truth." " Yes." "And go back to sleep." "And don't try to cheat him." "You are not smart enough." "I am not trying to cheat him." "I'm only trying to make him think I'm cheating." "If he doesn't think I'm cheating, he's going to start wondering why I'm not cheating, or even trying to cheat." "And, Rosa..." "Rosa, then he's going to start thinking maybe this isn't all the wine we have, you see?" "Bombolini, why do you always have to go all the way around the mountain when you want to take a leak next door?" "I don't know." "I guess cheating comes more natural." "Out." "Out!" "Look!" "You be reasonable and keep your fat mouth shut, or I'm going to feed you my fist, I swear!" "I'm frightened to death of you and the cat!" "Oh, Captain, sir, I want to apologize." "I'm not responsible" " now for what my wife says." " It's all right, Bombolini." " I decided to forget it." " Thank you." "But she certainly is a bitch." "Good afternoon." " Bombolini." " Yes, sir." "Tell me, what did you do before you entered the field of civic administration?" "I was a wine seller, sir." " Were you?" " Yes." "And to whom did you sell your wine?" "Well, to anybody who had money to pay for it." " You mean table wine." " Yes." "But the wine that this village produces, it goes to the Cinzano Company for the making of vermouth, does it not?" "Some." "The products of the Cinzano Company are appreciated even in Germany." "No!" "Even in Germany." "You know, sir, the people of Santa Vittoria often speak of the valiant efforts of the great German Army." " Do they?" " Yes." "Mr. Mayor, how many bottles?" "I'm sorry, I didn't quite understand." "You've had ample time to make the inventory I requested." "Now, tell me, how many bottles of wine are there in Santa Vittoria?" "Oh." "Well, I can answer that quite easily, sir." "Please do." "BOMBOLINl:" "Exactly" "310,000 bottles." "Three hundred and ten thousand, huh?" "Three hundred and ten thousand bottles." "Bombolini, you are lying." "Well..." "Sergeant Traub's count is three hundred seventeen thousand six hundred and one." "That many?" " That many bottles." " That many." "Well, that proves I'm not lying because, if I was going to lie," "I wouldn't lie for 7,000 bottles, would I?" "That would be stupid, no?" "Yeah, that would be stupid." "Bombolini, it is your fate to be a civil authority." "It is my fate to be a soldier." "What I'm about to say to you now has nothing whatever to do with my personal feelings, but since I am a soldier, I can only follow my orders." "What is it that you're about to say to me, sir?" "They want your wine." "Bombolini!" "Are you afflicted with some incurable disease?" "But our wine." "To take our wine..." "No, I don't believe it." "Please..." "Please, tell me it isn't true." "Please, I beg you, tell me it's a joke!" "It's a cruel joke!" "Only a portion of it, Bombolini, only a portion." "But to take our wine when that is all we have?" "It's the blood of the people..." "How large a portion?" "That matter is, up to a certain point, negotiable." "Up to what point?" " Twenty percent." " That's terrible." "That's horrible." "You take 20% of our wine!" "I think you misunderstand." "We take 80% and you keep 20." "Sir," "I gave you my word that we would cooperate to avoid the shedding of a single drop of blood." "I now withdraw that guarantee unless you're willing to compromise." " What's your idea of a compromise?" " Sixty-forty." "Bombolini, Germany has no need of vermouth." "We are simply trying to defray the cost of occupying, and if necessary, protecting this community." "But it's like paying a stranger to sleep in your bed with your wife!" "I suppose it is." "All right, then, 25%, but that's as high as I'm willing to go." "I couldn't ask my people to rape themselves for 25%." "For what figure, then, would you be prepared to ask your people to rape themselves?" "They won't do it" " for less than 50%." "50%?" "I doubt." "I doubt that my superiors could possibly agree." "But still..." "Still, I suppose..." "I suppose it does no harm to see what I can do for you." "Oh." " You drive a very hard bargain, Bombolini." " Who, me?" "Tell me, tell me, who was that attractive woman we passed on the steps?" "Oh!" "And frankly, to find someone like yourself in a mountain town like this, it's startling." "One grows lonely here, no?" "The grapes, oxen, peasants, soldiers." "Not much to talk to, is there?" "I think I know you." "Want me to guess where you used to spend your summers?" "Let me see." "Montreux." "And where would you go to ski?" "Innsbruck." "St. Moritz." "You see, same thing, same place." "I want you to come have dinner with me." "Monday." "If you say so." "I say so." "They should be crying." "We are taking their wine." "I just don't understand these people, sir." "You didn't listen." "I told you." "They're children." "They've probably hidden an extra 1,000 bottles somewhere and feel flushed with victory." " Good morning, gentlemen." " Mayor Bombolini." " Yes, sir." " If you please." "At your service, sir, night and day." " Perhaps you can explain something." " What?" "Why, in the circumstances, are the people so gay?" "Well, we Italians always try to look at the bright side." "Unless we are depressed." "I see." "And which would you say is the bright side of this situation?" "Now that you mention it, there isn't one." "I guess we Italians are just naturally..." " Optimistic." " Optimistic." "Yes." "Fabio!" "Fabio!" "Stop it!" "Stand back!" "Stand back!" "Sergeant." "Put the herd swine on bread and water for three days." "Maybe that will weaken your sexual appetite." "Bombolini, I'm sorry for this." "Fabio." "Fabio." "Angela, what are you doing here?" "I came to say thank you for what you did." "It's 2:00 in the morning." "Mmm-hmm." "Thank you, Fabio." "That's all right." "I would do it again for you." "You shouldn't be here." "Does it bother you for me to be here?" "No!" "I don't think so." "Just a little?" "More than a little." "A lot!" "Angela, I think..." "I think I want you!" " Oh, Fabio!" " Angela!" " Angela!" " Fabio!" "Angela!" "Holy mother of God!" "Mayor Bombolini!" "Wake up!" "What's all that noise?" "What, are you drunk?" "Rosa, is that you?" "Pax vobiscum, woman." "Shut up, you!" "A crime is being committed, Honorable Mayor." "A crime?" "You stay in there fast asleep, and a man is seducing a virgin." " Where?" " Right under your nose." "At this time of night?" "Who is it?" "He's your young friend Fabio." " That young goat!" " Good for him!" "Who is the lucky girl?" "The lucky girl, Mayor Stupid of the stupid city of Saint Stupid, is your daughter, Angela." "Angela." "My baby Angela." "It's impossible." "She can't do this to me!" "You're telling the whole town." "Rosa." "Rosa, maybe..." "Maybe it's love." "She doesn't even know what love is, and she's making it right now!" "I brought her to you." "You were supposed to teach her." "It's the mother's fault!" "I told you, shut up!" "Listen, Mayor Bombolini," "I demand that you put on your pants immediately and come down and kill him, or kill yourself." "I really don't care which." "Don't worry, Rosa." "I'm going to punish that boy so he'll remember it the rest of his life." "Thank you, Padre." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Hey, Babbaluche!" "Vittorini!" "Thank you." "Good morning." "Good morning." "They look quite well together, don't they?" "Yes." " Tonight, at 8:00, if you remember." " I remember." " There's going to be trouble." " I had no choice." "He didn't order you." "It wasn't a command." "There are ways, Carlo, of commanding without shouting." "And what will you talk about, huh?" "All the people you know in common from the beaches and resorts and all the right places?" "Perhaps." " Things I wouldn't understand." " I suppose not!" "Carlo." "Carlo, what are we doing to each other?" "What's the sense in this?" "I don't want you to go." "What's wrong, Carlo?" "Are you afraid I'll jump into the German's bed because he gives me dinner?" "I thought we knew each other better than this." "Let's go over it again." "No promises." "I owe you nothing, and you owe me nothing." "I have a body, and you have a body." "We are both grown people, and we can do with them as we please." "To the gentle life we knew when there was peace." "A lovely toast." "My father kept talking about the war." "I couldn't believe him." "I was young and in love and I knew they wouldn't make war and spoil it for me." "And they did, didn't they?" "Why are you here?" "You don't belong here." "And you?" "In my case, I came to steal some wine." "In mine, to hide." "All right, you've stolen your wine." "What keeps you here?" "They haven't told me to go." "It might be weeks, who knows?" "They might even forget about me completely." "What a wonderful thought." "Winter comes and the cold sets in, when the armies move up, or move back, either way, there's no food and the wine turns to acid." "We're going to need each other, you and I." "May I be quite frank?" "Please." "I find myself really attracted to you, and not just physically." "But that, too." "Well, that is quite frank." "Does that offend you?" "No." "Not at all." "Excuse me." "Contessa, I'm afraid we might have to cut our evening short." " Sir, an SS officer just arrived." " Yes, I know." "Tell the gentleman that I'll be at his disposal after I've finished my dinner." "I'm sorry but..." "Well, perhaps it's just as well for my reputation since the coffee here is truly dreadful." "Next time you come," "I promise you we won't be disturbed." "Caterina, I'm sorry for what I said earlier." "It's all right." "Did you have a pleasant evening?" "It was not unpleasant." "He's courteous." "It kept grinding here in my head all evening while you were gone." "Why I acted as I did." "It's because I love you, Caterina." "I offer you, Caterina Malatesta, a pair of hands like shovels, a piece of grape terrace 30 meters by 10." "No home, no money, no future." "How does such a generous offer appeal to you?" " Carlo." "Carlo, I..." " I know." "I know." "But you'll think about it." "Carlo, leave things the way they are." "You said yourself it's best that way." "But you'll think about it." "Yes, I'll think about it." "As we said." "Scipione is the chief bookkeeper of the Montefalcone bottling plant." "Oh, it's a pleasure, sir." "This wine is only one-fifth of what his records show is in Santa Vittoria." "In other words, four-fifths is missing." "Four-fifths?" "What happened to the rest of the wine, Captain?" "Where is it?" "What have they done with it?" "Say, he's made a great mistake." "Four-fifths." "Where's the wine?" "I swear by everything that's sacred." "My father's grave, my mother's grave..." "Now, my dear Mayor, if you want to lose your eyesight..." "All right!" "Bombolini, I ask you to tell us, as a reasonable man, to save both of us further effort and further pain." "Captain, this is unworthy of you." "How can I tell you about the wine when there is no wine?" "We could do with a little less grace and a little more personality." "It works better with these people." "I know these people very well, Lieutenant." "I can handle this matter my own way." "How much more time would you suggest for your way, Captain?" "Thirty-six hours." "If I don't find the wine, I'll turn the matter over to your men." "Thirty-six hours." "Bombolini." "Get the hell out of here." "Go away." "I don't want you to see me like this." "I've seen you worse, my hero." "You couldn't bring yourself to say something nice at a time like this?" "With a face like that, do you want me to kiss you?" "You never cared for me, did you?" "There was a time, I guess, when I loved you." "That first year we were married." "I was blind until the day you came in out of the rain, soaking wet, and fell into bed, drunk." "It was one day too many." "You were nothing but a big, stupid clown, and I lost my respect for you." "Keep still." "Rosa, it's going to be bad in this town for everybody." "For me." "That doesn't make me tell less than the truth." "No, not you." "I could be dead, you would walk up to my grave, spit in my face and tell me the truth." "We lie." "We lie to each other all the time, all of us." "I'm sick of it." "I'll wash the shirt and iron it, and Angela will bring it to you tomorrow." "Rosa." "Rosa, tell me something." "These past few weeks," "I did surprise you, didn't I?" "Yes, you surprised me." "That's the best thing you ever said to me." " Rosa." "Rosa, you're crying." " No." "Rosa, I know you." "You're crying." "You see, that's the way it is." "You will always make me cry." "Rosa." "Rosa, don't you want me to come back home, huh?" "No." "You are the Mayor, Bombolini." "You'd better stay over there." "I have divided this place into four sections as indicated on this map." "Technically, mathematically, logically, there are very limited possibilities for the hiding of one million bottles of wine." "We'll start here at the cellar of the city hall." "Nothing." " There is no wine here." " No, of course not." "Zopf, do you believe there's wine here?" " No, sir." " Why not?" "The priest said there is no wine, sir." "Priests don't lie." "In Germany, priests don't lie." "In Italy, they lie." "Now he is tearing up all the houses, one by one." "Babbaluche, to want something you can't have is ridiculous." "Now, he is becoming ridiculous." "Italo, I have something to tell you." " What?" " The Fascists, Copa and Bara..." "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" "I forgot all about them!" "The Germans will find them!" " No, they won't." " Put them off." "They will..." "They are not there." "We moved them last night." " Where to?" " Here in the cellar." "Here?" "What, are you crazy?" "They already looked here." "They won't come back." "I swear to God." " You swear?" " I swear." "Hey, God, you hear?" " Prum." " Contessa." "It has become necessary to search each house individually, so for the sake of appearances, we have to search here, too." "May I?" "Thank you." " Who are you?" " I work on the terraces." "You look like a soldier." "A deserter, eh?" "There's no wine in this town, Captain." "You're in pursuit of an illusion." "It wouldn't be the first time I've been in pursuit of an illusion, Contessa." "Come on!" "I think it is time, Captain." "Just one moment." "Bombolini." "Bombolini!" "Yes, sir?" "Yes, sir?" "The time is up now." "Time?" " How stupid can you be?" " What, sir?" " Bombolini." " What?" "You won't believe what's going to happen now." "I know, sir." "And when it does, the responsibility is yours." " But, sir..." " Yours!" "So I ask you the last time, where's the wine?" "Sir, I have told you." "I promise you, there is no wine." " How many do you need?" " We prefer two." "All right, two then." "What are you going to do?" "I have good news for you." "The Germans are here." "They want to see two of you in order of importance." "You first, Copa, then Bara." "Come on." "Captain." "Captain, you can't ask me to choose anyone for this." "Captain, I just couldn't do it." "Captain, you can kill me right now." "Right here, but I won't do it!" "Captain, I have an idea." "Why not pick the first two men who happen to come to the piazza?" "That way, I won't have the responsibility." "Not even you would have the responsibility." "We could leave it up to God." "I would have said the Devil." "On the double." "We set up our equipment in the Roman cave." "It's quiet down there." " Well?" " There's no wine." "I see." "I take it that you'll deliver your report to headquarters?" "Definitely." "You were right all along." "The SS will vouch for it." "Marvelous." "For 20 years, you had no mercy on us." "I had to do this to you to save our wine." "Do you understand?" "To save our wine!" "So, everything you did in all those years, that's settled." "That's..." "That's paid for." "And you've paid in full." "Copa, do you understand?" "You've paid in full." "Bombolini!" "For God's sake, let them be." "I'm just trying to explain." "The slate is clean." "For Captain Von Prum." " It's from division command, sir." " Read it." "Orders to leave, sir." "Tomorrow morning at 7:00." "You don't understand, do you, Traub?" "They've made a fool of me." "There's wine here." "Everybody knows it." "Everybody." "They shut their doors, and they close their windows, and they laugh at me." "Sir, even the SS..." "To hell with the SS!" "I tell you there is wine here!" "But what would we do with the wine, sir?" "It's too late." "There's no transport available." " What would you do with..." " What would I do?" "What would I do?" "I..." "I'd make Bombolini drink it." "Every damn drop of it." "Shall I make the necessary preparations to leave, sir?" "That man who's living with her, get him." "Attention." "Carlo Tufa, the deserter, will be shot at 6:00 a. m." "unless one million bottles ofmissing wine are surrendered to the German Commander by that hour." "Attention, attention." "Carlo Tufa, the deserter, will be shot at 6:00 a. m." "unless one million..." " Always the women in black." " They pray for me." "They won't let you die, you know." "There's always someone who wants to save you." "It's very hard to become a martyr these days." "Is there wine here?" "No." " There is no wine." " Then how can anyone save you?" "That will be difficult to do." "I take it back." "You begin to look like a martyr to me." "Sergeant, please, may I?" "Thank you." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Tufa, you think it's worth it" " to save the wine?" " What else have we got?" "Just wanted to hear you say it." " Do you have..." " No." "Boy, I'd love to tell the German everything." "Just to see the expression on his face." "Let him go." "Why do you want me to lie to you?" "I slept with the German." "He forced you." "You had no choice." "I slept with him." "Carlo, what do you want from me?" "Must I say I love you, Carlo?" "I want you to say it." " The "I love you's" in my life." " Say it." "Two people with nothing, so different from each other." "We have each other." "For a month, a year, maybe longer, if we can stop saying, "I love you. "" "Say it." "Don't be afraid, Caterina." "Please, say it!" "I love you, Carlo." "I've been an anarchist all my life, but I've never been sure what it means." "Except that nothing means anything." " Hey." " Eh?" "How do I look, huh?" "Like always." "Like a clown." "Italo." "I have a confession to make." "No, I don't believe it." "If there is anything that means anything, it's this stinking town." "HeilHitler." "HeilHitler." "Captain, the people of Santa..." " Bombolini?" " Yes, sir?" "I want to hear from you just once more, "There is no wine. "" "There is no wine." "Bombolini, all you have to do before I leave is to tell me where the wine is." "I don't want it." "I won't touch it." "Not one bottle, not one drop of it." "I give you my word of honor." "Just tell me where it is." "There is no wine." "You know I know there's wine here." " Oh, you know." " I know." "Now, you tell me, or I'll blow out what's left of your brains." "Now." "Ten seconds." "What are you trying to do to me?" "Look, don't you remember, you lend me your mule if I scratch your back?" "I remember." "I..." "I'm going to kill that man unless somebody tells me where the wine is." "See?" "They don't give a damn for you." "Not your wife, not the priest, none of your friends, nobody." "They'd let me blow your head off for fermented juice." "Look." "For God's sake, what kind of people are you?" "Sir, it is time." "What kind of people are you?" "Excuse me, we have a gift." "To the Captain from the people of Santa Vittoria." "It's not a great wine, but it's not bad." "You sure you can spare it?" "There's one million more where this came from." "What kind of people are you?"