"Previously on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer":" "You're fired." "Now!" "I think that was the last." " Will, are you OK?" " Yeah, I'm fine." "The shaking is a side effect of the fear." " Thank you." " If it wasn't for that clouding spell..." "Yeah, it went good." "Nothing melted like last time." "These babes were wicked rowdy." "What's their deal?" "I wish I knew." "Most of my sources have dried up since the Council has relieved me of my duties." "I was aware that there was a nest here, but I expected it to be vampires." "These are new." " And improved." " Yes, well, I'm sorry." "I should've had you better prepared and I should never have allowed Willow and..." "Good." "We're fine." "Just a little bit dirty." "Good show, everyone." "Just great." " I think we have a hit." " Are you OK?" "Tiptop." "Really." "If anyone sees my spine laying' around, just try not to step on it." " One of these days you're gonna get hurt." " Or killed." "Or both." "And, you know, with the pain and then the death..." "Maybe you shouldn't be leaping into the fray like that." "Maybe you should be fray-adjacent." "Excuse me?" "Who distracted the demon by allowing her to pummel him about the head?" "Yeah, that was real manly how you shrieked an' all." "I think you'll find that was more of a bellow." " What shall we do with the trio?" "Burn them?" " I brought marshmallows." "Occasionally I'm callous and strange." "We can leave them." "I'm more interested in finding out what they are" " and whether we can expect more of them." " I hope not." "They're way too fit." "I say bring 'em on." "Xander, I think in the future perhaps it would be best if you hung back to the rear of the battle." "For your own sake." "But gee, Mr White, if Clark and Lois get all the good stories, I'll never be a good reporter." "Jimmy Olsen jokes are gonna be lost on you." " Sorry." " It's OK." "Hey, Doug, toss me one." "Les, man, I'm open." "Les, buddy." "Doug, right here, man." "Right here." "Doug, please." "All right, it's all me." "Boy, I am so sorry." "Doug's arm is kinda like spaghetti." "We're all so very sad for him." " Is your lunch OK?" " What are you, retarded?" "No." "I took that test when I was seven - a little slow in some stuff, mostly math and spatial relations, but certainly not challenged." " Can I get you another soda?" " I oughta cut your face open." "It was an accident." "Cool down." "You wanna be startin' somethin'?" "What?" "Starting something?" "Like that Michael Jackson song, right?" "That was a lotta fun." "Too high to get over, yeah, yeah..." "Remember that fun song?" "I get my buddies together, we're gonna kick your ass till it's a brand new shape." "Now get outta here." "Yo, man, the ball!" "Boy, of all the humiliations you've had I've witnessed, that was the latest." " I could've taken him." " Oh, please." "O'Toole would macramé your face." "He is a psycho." "Which is still a lot cooler than being a wuss." "Why is it that I've come face to face with the most hideous creatures hell ever spit out and I'm afraid of a bully like Jack O'Toole?" "Because, unlike all those other creatures, Jack actually noticed you were there." "Why am I surprised by how comforting you're not?" "It must be hard when all your friends have superpowers - slayer, werewolf, witches, vampires - and you're like this little nothing." "You must feel like Jimmy Olsen." "I was just talkin' to..." "Mind your own business." "I struck a nerve." "The boy that had no cool." "I happen to be an integral part of that group." "I happen to have a lot to offer." " Oh, please." " I do." "Integral part of the group?" "Xander." "You're the useless part of the group." "You're the Zeppo." "Cool." "Look it up." "It's something a subliterate that's repeated 12th grade three times has, and you don't." "There was no part of that that wasn't fun." "But it's just that it's buggin' me." "This cool thing." "I mean what is it?" "How do you get it?" "Who doesn't have it?" "And who decides who doesn't have it?" "What is the essence of "cool"?" "Not sure." "I mean, you yourself, Oz, are considered more or less cool." "Why is that?" " Am I?" " Is it about the talking?" "You know, the way you tend to express yourself in short, noncommittal phrases?" " Could be." " No." "You're in a band." "That's like a business-class ticket to cool with complimentary mojo after takeoff." "I gotta learn an instrument." "Is it hard to play guitar?" " Not the way I play it." " On the other hand, eighth grade," "I'm takin' flugelhorn and gettin' zero trim, so the instrument thing could be a mislead." "But you need a thing." "One thing nobody else has." "What do I have?" "An exciting new obsession, which I feel makes you very special." "Now with the mocking." "Which I can handle because I know I'm right about this." "I'm on the track." "I just need to find my thing." "You're overthinking' it." "You got some identity issues." "It's not..." " The end of the world." " Can they do that?" "They seem fairly committed." "The Sisterhood of Jhe." "They're an apocalypse cult." "They exist solely to bring about the world's destruction." "We've not seen the last of them." "More will follow." "And they're here in Sunnydale for what?" "Demon Expo?" " Buffy, this is no laughing matter." " Hence my no laughing." "I'm sorry." "I know I'm no longer your official watcher, but..." " Hey." " Hey." "You're cutting it a bit close." "Well, you know me." " Well, do we know why they're here?" " I think so." "Based on some artefacts that I found with them and... taking into account the current astral cycle..." "Giles, I don't need to see the math." "They intend to open the Hellmouth." "The Hellmouth." " The one that opens..." " About 20ft from where you're standing." "And if it opens?" "Remember the demon that almost got out the night I died?" "Every nightmare I have that isn't about academic failure or public nudity is about that thing." "In fact once I dreamt that it attacked me while I was late for a test and naked." "Well, it'll be the first to come out." "And Giles says it won't be the worst by a long shot." "The world will be overrun with demons if we don't stop it." "Do we know when this is supposed to happen?" "Giles is trying to narrow it down." "If you're up for it, we're heading into deep research mode." "I'd be offended if you haven't already counted me in." "Thanks, Will." "There's something about this one that scares me." "I need my Willow." "You don't have to be afraid." "You girls need a lift?" "What is this?" "What do you mean, what is it?" "It's my thing." " Your thing?" " My thing." "Is this a penis metaphor?" "It's my thing that makes me cool." "That makes me unique." " I'm Car Guy." "Guy with a car." " How can you afford it?" "Uncle Roary stacked up the DUIs, let me rent this bad boy till he's mobile again." " Well, it's nice." " Could you sound a little less enthused?" " Sorry." " Evil." " Big?" " Biggest." "Maybe more than I can handle." "Then we'll handle it together." "You know I'm here for you." "Just tell me what I can do." "I'll take two glazed, two cinnamon, a couple of cream-filled and a jelly." " No, let's round that out to four jellies." " Is some evil going on?" "Must be big for them to entrust you with this daredevil mission." "Cordelia." "Feel free to drop dead of a wasting disease in the next 20 seconds." "Again I strike the nerve." "I am the surgeon of mean." " I'm kinda busy now, OK?" " Right." "Buffy needs your help." " Can you say "expendable"?" " You think you know everything." " I think I know you." " That's a laugh." "What, you got a shiny car and now you're someone new?" " Like anybody even cares about..." " Is that your car?" "Why..." " Yes, it is." " '5l Chevy Bel Air." "283 CID, solid lifter." "Fuel-injected V8?" " Very possibly." " How does she handle?" "Like a dream about warm, sticky things." " Would you like to go for a little drive?" " You busy?" "Just gotta drop this stuff off, and then I would describe myself as expendable." "Come on." "There." "And then I started seeing Dave Peck." "He had a Thunderbird." "Engine completely tricked out, but the upholstery was kinda shot." "Then I started seeing Mike." "Not Mike with the Mercedes, Mike with the Mustang." "An '82 V6." " You know..." " Angel." "Buddy." "Friend buddy." "You wanna sit and talk?" " I'm lookin' for Buffy." " Library, last I saw." " Something's happening." "I've seen portents." " The apocalypse." "They're on top of it." " They don't know what they're dealing with." " Let's go there and... tell them that." "No, it's best you stay outta harm's way." "But I can help." "You wanna go for another drive?" "It's not like I haven't helped before." "I've done some quality violence for those people." "Do they even think about that?" "I mean... they act like I'm some sort of klutz." "Oh, God." "Are you all right?" "Oh, God..." "Stay calm." "Little fender-bender." "It's not... the end of the world." "He's cranky." "It's a good night for it." "Can't dogs sense when there's an earthquake?" "And they bark?" "Or cows lie down or something?" ""Sisterhood of Jhe." "Race of female demons, fierce warriors..."" ""Celebrate victory in battle by eating their foes."" " They couldn't pour Gatorade on each other?" " The Council won't take my calls." "Idiots." " Anything useful in the books?" " Not wildly." "We still have the Books of Pherion to go through." "I'm getting itchy feet." "If we don't turn up something soon, I'm gonna check out Willy's." " Fine." " Where are you going?" "To try and contact the spirit guides that exist out of time and have knowledge of the future." "I have no idea if they'll respond to my efforts, but I have to try." "All we know is that the fate of the entire world rests on..." "Did you eat all the jellies?" "Did you want a jelly?" "I always have a jelly." "I'm the one that says "let's have a jelly in the mix"." "We're sorry." "Buffy had three." " No matter." "If Xander makes another run..." " No." "Xander's out of this." "He nearly got killed last time." "This would be easier if we know he's safe." "Gosh, Jack." "Are you OK?" "I am really sorry about that." "Your car came outta nowhere." " I was parked." " Exactly." "Look, I can cover the damages." "I don't have insurance in the strictest sense but I have a little money." "The important thing is that we're all right and we can work this out like two reasonable..." " frontiersmen." " Where do you want it?" " What?" " Where do you want it?" "I'm fairly certain I don't want it at all." "But thank you." "Cool knife." "Yeah." "Great knife." "Although I think it may technically be a sword." "She's called Katie." "You gave it a girl's name." "How very serial killer of you." "Lysette, I think we should be going." " Are you scared?" " Would that make you happy?" "Your woman lookin' on and you can't stand up to me?" "Don't you feel pathetic?" "Mostly I feel Katie." "You know what the difference between you and me is?" "Again..." "Katie's springing' to mind." "Fear." "Who has the least fear." "And it has nothing to do with who has the big, sharp..." "Come on." "I wanna go for a drive." "I'm bored." "Gee, I'm really sorry my life-and-death situation isn't exciting enough for you." "Hey!" " What's goin' on?" " Nothin'." "Just rasslin'." "O'Toole." "What a surprise." "He attack you?" "No." "Just blowing' off steam." "Two guys rasslin'." "But not in a gay way." "Do it somewhere else, huh?" " What?" " That was all right." "You could've narked on me, didn't do it." "That's decent of ya." "I like you." " Yay?" " You two wanna have some fun?" " Like, with driving?" " Yeah." " What do you have in mind?" " I was on my way to get the boys." "Gonna cruise around." " We'll take your wheels." " What about your car?" "It ain't mine." " Great." "Where to?" " Gonna get the boys." "Yeah." "So where are the boys?" "He calls forth the spirit of Uurthu, the Restless." "No one shall speak." "He shall arise." "Hear me." "The blood of the earth shall restore him." "And he shall arise." "He shall arise." " Buddy." " Bob." "You big hideous corpse." "Come here." "I'll call ya." "Man!" "You raised me!" "I told you Grandpappy could work that mojo." "Big Bob is back in action." "Yes!" "Man!" "I can't believe you raised me." "That is so awesome." " You are the coolest." " Maybe I should just let you guys catch up." "Bob, this is Xander." "He's our wheel man." "Hey." "Howdy." " Where are the other guys?" "We gotta get 'em." " Absolutely." "Are all your friends dead?" " Xander, let's roll." " How long I been down?" " Eight months." " I got some catchin' up to do." " Walker, Texas Ranger, You been taping 'em?" " Every ep." "All right." "We're gonna get the guys together and party." "This is gonna be a night to remember." "Yeah!" "I'm sensing' that." "The blood of the earth shall restore him, and he shall arise." "Dudes!" "Giles." "Hey." "What's goin' on?" "Just trying to gain access to the spirit guides." "Not going very well, I'm afraid." " What are you doing here?" " We were just raising... some heck." "Xander!" "Let's go!" "Listen, do you guys need any help?" "No, thank you." "Probably best if you stay out of trouble." " No chance of that." " Xander!" "Motor!" "There's something different about this... menace." "Something in the air." " The stench of death." " Yeah." "I think it's Bob." "We may all be called upon to fight when it happens." " When what happens, exactly?" " Come on!" "I'd better go." "Hopefully we should have time to prepare." "All we need is a few weeks." " Tonight?" " Before sunrise." "That's what they said." " Why did they do this?" " They were looking for Angel." " Angel?" "Why?" " They said they were comin' after you too." "Nothing could stand in their way because tonight was the night." " Man!" " The ambulance is on its way." "Look, kid, my clientele ain't exactly nuns and orphans, but I..." " I never seen anything like these demons." " I'm gonna stop them." "If that Hellmouth opens, they're gonna be the least of your problems is my train of thought." "If I were you," "I'd go find Angel, go somewhere quiet together." "I'd be thinkin' about how I wanna spend my last night on Earth." "Let's get some beers!" "Let's go pick up some girls." "We'll hang out at Taco Bell, get some girls, go cruise around..." " I wanna bake a cake." " We need some beers though." "I can't believe you got shot, man." "Was it them Jackals?" "Are you kiddin'?" "We wiped them out after they threw you off the bridge." "Man, you guys are the best, man." "You're the best." "I mean that." "There's a liquor store." "A little Armenian guy runs the place." "He's got a gun behind the counter." "Hey..." "We should go kick his ass." "If you guys want me to drop you off..." " Nah, you're with us now." " You're on the team now, baby." "What are we gonna do?" "I've heard some interesting suggestions, but I'm gonna go with Dickie's." "Let's bake a cake." "All right." "You stay here and keep the motor runnin'." "This time of night I'm pretty sure nothing's open." "But they're always open for crime." "OK." "Now I'm involved in crime." "I'm the criminal element." "Havin' a car sure is cool." " Thank you." "Sorry to wake you." " No problem." "Will." "Xander." "What are you doin' here?" "Nothing." "Certainly not crime." "What about you?" "I needed supplies for a protection spell." "Buffy called from Angel's." "It's happening tonight." " And that thing that's happening would be...?" " I can't stay." "Buffy'll need this." "I love you, Xander." " OK, that's it." "I'm gonna..." " Where you goin'?" " Look, something's just come up." " You gonna bail on me?" "Is that it?" " We got the cake mix." " Where you wanna bake it?" " Xander's lookin' to leave." " No way." "We need a wheel man." " Xander doesn't feel like part of the group." " I'm kinda busy." "He doesn't feel like part of the group because he hasn't been initiated." " Do you think he's ready?" " Well, I think he's earned his stripes." "I say we let him in, boys." "Great." "I wanna be in the gang, sure." " All right." "Yeah." " That's the spirit." "What do I gotta do?" "You gotta die." "All right, guys." "Let's just talk about this." "Now, you wanna be part of the gang, don't you?" "Yes, yes." "But I'm not dying to be in the gang, if you get the pun there." "What, you're too good to be dead?" "You got a problem with dead people?" "What about Jack?" "Jack's not dead." " Drive-by three weeks ago." " Oh, boy." "Grandpappy found my body." "I wasn't gone but ten minutes before he raised me." " It's a rush, man." " Let's kill Xander." "It'll be fun." "You can be a full-fledged member." "Come on, Xander." "Take it like a man." "All right, enough!" "You guys have had your fun, but you forgot about one thing." "Get him!" "Damn!" "There goes the wheels." " He took all our stuff, man." " I wanna bake a cake." "It's all right." "We'll get more." "The night is young." "That's enough excitement for one evening." "Get in!" " Think Demon Mama followed us?" " No, we're cool." "The bitch dislocated my shoulder though." "Hold me." "That's better." "She got me really wound up." "A fight like that and... no kill..." "I'm about ready to pop." "Really?" " Pop?" " You up for it?" "I'm up." "I'm suddenly very up." "It's just..." "I've never been up with people before." "Just relax." "Take your pants off." "Those two concepts are antithetical." "Don't worry." "I'll steer you round the curves." "Did I mention that I'm having a very strange night?" "That was great." "I gotta shower." " I've never seen him like this." " The Hellmouth." "He senses it's gonna open." " Now don't hesitate." " Do it." "Now, Oz..." "Again!" "We'd better move him before he wakes up." "Sorry." "I hope you're not mad at me in the morning." "Hey." "They're not baking any cake." "Long gone." "Probably loaded with supplies." "Gotta think." "I can't believe I had sex." "OK, bombs." "Already-dead guys with bombs." "Man, I'm outta my league." "Buffy'll know what to do." " I don't know what to do." " Then let me decide for you." " I can face this thing." " You can't." "Look, I can at least buy you enough time for Willow's spell to bind it." "Buffy, this is worse than anything we've ever faced." "Hey, it's the only way." "I can't watch you die again." "I love you." " I love you." " Nothing can change that." " Not even death." " Don't talk to me like that." "You may be ready to go, but I am not ready to lose you." "OK, this is my fight, and if you won't do it my way then you're..." "Hey." "I've got this..." "There's this..." "This is probably a bad time." "Can I help?" "OK." "OK, I can work this out." "I just gotta figure out what they'd be likely to bomb." "OK, Oz is moved." "He could barely walk after that Mickey I gave him, but we made it." " Is he gonna be all right there?" " Anywhere's safer than here." "Help me with the candles." "We're doing the spell from the Hebron's Almanac?" "Yes." "Once it's ready you're to stay back and let me finish the recitation." "Don't argue." "I want you safe." "Who knows what's gonna come up from beneath us?" "This is gonna be large." "Giles'll know what to do." "He's way more calm than Buffy." "OK, I got a plan." "Hey, our wheels." "Hey!" " Come on, man!" "Stop!" " Where's the bomb?" " It's in the high school." " In the school where?" "Oh, God!" "This really, really hurts." "It's in the boiler room." "All right." "Now I'm gonna ask you this once, and you better pray you get the answer right." "How do I defuse...?" "I probably should've left out that whole middle part." "He's headed for the school." " There he is!" " Where's a slayer when you need one?" "Oh, my God." "It's grown." "There he is!" "Come on!" "Get him!" "Hey, stop!" "Come on, man!" "." "Which way?" "He couldn't have gotten far." "Let's split up." "Good for chopping." "Now this is what I call fun." "You should've learned by now, if you play with fire you gotta expect sooner or later..." "I wasn't finished." "Note to self:" "less talk." "Faith, go for the heart!" "OK." "Boiler room." "Other way." "Hello, Nasty." "Less than two minutes." "Dumb guy, little bomb..." "How hard can it be?" " It just got harder." " I'm not leavin' till that thing's disarmed." "Then I guess you're not leavin'." "I'm gonna carve you up and serve you with gravy." "You pissed me off, boy." "Now you pay the price." "First the eyes, then the tongue, then I'll break every one of your fingers." "You gonna do all that in 49 seconds?" "I know what you're thinkin'." "Can I get by him, up the stairs, out of the building, seconds ticking away?" " I don't love your chances." " Then you'll die too." "Yeah, looks like." "So I guess the question really is... who has less fear?" "I'm not afraid to die." "I'm already dead." "Yeah, but this is different." "Being blowed up isn't "drinkin' with your buddies" dead." "It's "little bits bein' swept up by a janitor" dead, and I don't think you're ready for that." "Are you?" "I like the quiet." "Now, Buffy!" "Good boy." "I don't think I wanna be seeing you on campus any more, Jack." "I'm not goin' anywhere, Harris." "The first time you turn your back..." "Even after the Hellmouth was closed we could still hear it screaming." "But Angel's gonna be OK?" "He was only out for a few minutes." "Longest of my life." "I'll never forget that thing's face." "Its real face, I mean." "Yes." "I don't know how you managed to..." "It was the bravest thing I've ever seen." "The stupidest." "But the world continues to turn." "No one will ever know how close it came to stopping." "Never know what we did." "Guys." "Xander." "Boy, you're lucky you weren't at school last night." "It was crazed." "Well, give me the quiet life." "I'm gonna grab a snack." "Anyone want?" " Oz?" " No, I'm oddly full today." "OK." "Look, it's Mr Excitement." "On another life-or-death doughnut mission, or just cruising for bimbos again?" "Giving them lessons in lack of cool." "What?" "What?" "What?"