"Did you feel that too?" " What?" " Your stomach." "It's like butterflies." "I'd feel butterflies." "I think I'm ready." "Can you believe him?" "He falls so easily." "I'm a little more guarded." "I guess it's because I've been hurt before." "I'll never hurt you." " My dad." " My dad." " You guys are sisters?" " Our dads are friends." "They went to the gym." "They're muscle-heads." "Your best bet is to curl into a ball until they stop beating you." "I'm telling you this because I think I might love you." "What's our play?" "dog-leg left." "break." " Break." "We should wait two days before we call them." "You've gotta be kidding me." "Do you think they have any concept of how fast a car can go?" "break." "I'm Nick." " Shawn." "Can we use your pool?" "Tigers." "Yeah!" "Split Johnny left!" "Split Johnny left!" "guys!" "Set." "Hike." "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "All day." "All day." "Candy from a baby." " What do you wanna do?" " That brunette." "Looks like she wouldn't mind St. Nick stuffed down her chimney." "in the game." "focus." " I've never been more focused." "couple of meatloaves in that baby tee." "Not mad at that belly ring either." "don't talk back." "Wonder if her carpet matches my drapes." "loss of five yards." "And just because it's a spring scrimmage doesn't mean you can shit yourselves out here." "Go!" "go." "Tigers!" "crowd Let's hear some noise" "N" " O-I-S-E Noise we took too long." "man." "N-O-I-S-E Noise" "Tigers." "what's the play?" "baby tee is signing me her number." "shit buckets." "I don't wanna run laps all afternoon." "I have a shrink appointment." "your cousin stuck his finger in your ass." "Get over it." "They playing us loose." "Let's get short passes and extra yardage." "man." "You either bet big or go home." "my brother." "slant slim boogie on my count." "Ready?" "Break." "watch that blitz." "hut." "Shawn." "baby." "Yeah!" "I'm Nick." " Shawn." "Maddy." "Thanks for helping me study Bio." "I'm retarded about reverse osmosis." "you're not." "Pressure forcing a solvent through a membrane like when a water balloon gets too big and then explodes." "Got it." "Thanks." "You're so awesome." "No." "Science is awesome." "go crush that test." " Thanks." " High five." "Nick." "name." "I need a name." " Jennifer." "how are you?" " I'm great." "Really great." " Are you going to the bonfire tonight?" " You know it." "I was just saying to Shawn here I cannot wait to go to the bonfire so I can hang out with..." " Jennifer." " Jennifer." "Jennifer." " It's not that hard a name to remember." " I went out with her last semester." "The name gets erased to make room for new ones." " There's like 3000 kids at this school." " Can't you just remember more names?" "I don't know how it works." "Talk to Tech Support." " There are my guys." " Let's bet how many times... 10." "coach." "Shitheads think you're the shit?" "That you don't need to pay attention out there?" "I'll kick the shit out of you." "You pumped for football camp?" "two weeks without girls." "shit-dick." "I am gonna push you like you've never been pushed before." "your head will throb." "You'll shit blood out of holes you never knew you had." "At least we're gonna be in Daytona Beach." "Texas." "Hotter than your shithole." "We're gonna get you shits conditioned." "Bus leaves Monday at 0-shit-hundred hours." " Which is?" "4:45 a. m." " Of course." " The usual." "Skip your morning shit and get down here." "you win." "How do you always know?" "It's a gift." "I'm not proud of it." "Bye." "Maybe I'll see you sometime this summer." "Don't be obvious." "He knows you like him." "You guys coming to my dad's after camp?" "yeah." "He gave it to you again?" " Nice." "He figures if he lets me have it one week I'll forgive him for not being there when I need him." "And guess what." "He's right." "Did you hear football camp's gonna be in El Paso?" "How cool is that?" "our skin burning." "but without girls to yell at us." "Where's the car?" "Where's the car?" "I'm getting scared." "Hold my purse." "Shawn." "Two weeks." " I know." "Two weeks out of the best years of our lives." "ever." "I know." "So are you guys psyched for cheer camp or what?" "all I think about." "I do too." "then fine." " Call me and Dr. King shallow." " That doesn't make you shallow." "That makes you real." "We have got to do better than last year." "We could take a dump in our pants and still do better than last year." " I'm just saying." " But we're better this year." "I think we have a real shot." "I don't know." "There's 300 girls up there who want it just as much as we do." " And who are much better than us." " Three hundred girls." "Who want it just as much as we do." "And are much better than us." "that'd be the place to be." "Instead of sweating our balls off in the desert with Coach Shit-Shit." " So let's go." " What?" "be cheerleaders." " Cheerleaders?" " Yes." "my God." "Are you coming out to me?" "man." "I kind of always knew." "I'm too straight to be gay." "I could suck knob and still be straight." "I could have one in my mouth and two in each hand..." " ... and still win a straight award." " All right." "Which is why I wanna go to cheer camp." "Think." "Three hundred hotties we've never been with before." "I wonder if they let guys go to cheer camp." "name." "Give me a name." "Carly." "it's the most beautiful name you've ever heard my eyes look like forever... especially yours." "but that's good." "Mind if I use it?" "no." "No lines." "We wanted to wish you luck at cheer camp." "you do." "I know your game." "No girl left unturned." " What?" " How dare you?" "No." "We just see how hard you ladies cheer out there and we really hope that you do good." "you know." "Beat the skirts off those 300 other girls." "And guys?" "Are there guys there?" "Do guys go?" " What about guys?" " It's a good question." "There's girls and guys that go." "I don't know if guys" "Yes." "The good teams are all co-ed." "That's interesting." "I just didn't know that." "I was just pondering." "come here." "We're working on a new mount Bianca came up with." " Yeah!" " Coming." "so you guys don't talk about my ass." "she's got nice lumps." "Either one of us ever hit that?" "I don't think so." "I think she respects herself too much." "Right." "Who wants to deal with that drama?" "what do you think about cheer camp?" "what do I think?" " Let's go." "we can do anything." "They don't just let anybody go." "You've gotta be part of a squad." "Let's join a squad." "How hard can this be?" "a pyramid." "Black sheep" "Three hundred honeys on our biscuits." " What about football camp?" " Screw football." "The only reason we started playing was to pull chicks." "You can't honestly tell me you enjoy running in blazing hot pads trying to catch a pass two seconds before some 2000-pound mongoloid... here we come." "Not if it comes to us first!" "shit." " I'm on fire." " Mookie!" "water." " I'll put you out." "I'm a hero." "Screw football." "Let's go cheer." "Shawny Shawn!" "We need to convince the squad they need us." " Not gonna be easy." " That's why we go to Poppy." " I wish there was another way." " There's not." " But I wish there was." " But there's not." "We're here." " I wish we weren't." " But we are." "sis." "Why am I looking at you?" "Speak." "you're getting so big now." "How old are you?" "I'm 60." "Can we get past the small talk?" "The only time you come to see me is when you need something." "What?" "Tug mags?" "Mike's Hard Lemonade?" " Another ride to the clinic?" " Poppy." "No." "We wanna go to that cheerleading camp you're going to." "Since you're killing on the JV squad and so advanced beyond your years we thought you'd get us up to speed." "you can piss on my face just don't tell me it's raining." "You guys have been through every girl at your school and you're looking for fresh muff." "Some itchy-itchy-nah-nah." "Wall-to-wall carpet." "how old are you?" "I'll teach you some basic cheerleader moves." "baskets." "Don't the guys just throw the girls up and then catch them?" "Pretty much." "But I'll let you practice on me and tell you what they're called." "I get Shawn's room." " No." " Done." "Those are my terms." "I've got my own bathroom." "you won't even need your own bathroom." "What?" "What does that even mean?" "we go see Carly." "Gossip Girl." " What?" "Carly's not one of your humpety-hump football groupies." "She's too smart to buy that you guys wanna be cheerleaders." "what's the play?" "go." "Get up there." "rats." " We got our Frisbee stuck." " How are we gonna get it down?" " Go space shuttle." " That's what I'm thinking." "Good idea." " Ready?" " Okay." "catch buddy." "Do they always get so excited like that?" "Haven't you ever seen them do their touchdown dances?" "they flip all over the place." "You'd think they were cheerleaders." " No." " You guys really like cheering?" "just goofing around." "You nailed a backward sponge and go cradle." "No." "We threw my sister up in the air to get our Frisbee." "It was either that or we get three ladders." "guys." "You love cheering." "Don't run from it." "This is a safe place." "We kind of do." "It's so much more athletic than football." "we'd go with you ladies to cheer camp." "But we're football meatheads." "We gotta march in lockstep to what society expects." "okay?" "Totally ruin our rep." " We'll catch you later." " Have a good summer." "We're gonna go watch a Bears' game on TV." "Bears" "I'm supposed to believe the biggest jocks in school all along really wanted to be cheerleaders?" "Don't get caught up in the lockstep of society's expectations." "They tossed Poppy like 20 feet in the air." "we don't have any muscle." "they're our only hope." "which I'm totally open to." " I'm just saying." " I don't care." "I don't trust those guys." "They're not coming." "I'm the captain." "Miss Klingerhoff is the coach." "Let's see what she thinks." "What a fantastic idea." "It's exactly what this squad needs to just push it over the top." "they have never done it before." "it's Nick and Shawn." "Carly." "You never really know what a book is about until you get to page 50." "Fifty?" " Wouldn't guess a page over 40." " More like 35." "My chickens." "you." "one to go." "What are we gonna say to Coach Shit-For-Words to get out of football?" "What every kid says to get out of everything he doesn't wanna do." "So not only do I find out yesterday I'm adopted the people I've called mom and dad are infertile imposters who bought me outside a meth clinic for two boxes of Sudafed but I also get this news dropped on me:" "Bruce... he needs a kidney and I'm the only match." "And apparently Bruce needs it stat." "Bruce?" "Huh?" "I needed a father stat instead of the stay-at-home dad... this goddamn spermless liar!" "So now I gotta be at Kaiser Permanente tomorrow at 6 a. m." "I know." "Bruce couldn't even afford a real hospital." "huh?" "Never managed to care for me." "You shitting me?" "Are you saying you can't go to camp?" "coach." "Because it's eating me up inside." "It's eating me up." "Shit!" "two." "two." "two." "but not me." "if being a fool for cheering is wrong then I don't wanna be right." "You might wanna dial back your bullshit with her." "She seems pretty with-it." "That's a great note." "Thanks." "We're so psyched you're here." "yeah." "Don't worry about Carly." " She's really into cheering." " No worries." "we are driving we are driving we like driving we like driving we are eating" "We are driving again We are driving" "We are driving again We are driving" " How long does this go on for?" " The whole way." "Just wait till their cycles match up." "You'll miss these days." "We're gonna miss Mookie's dad's house." "we are not missing Mookie's dad's house." "Yeah." "This thing is three weeks long." "we bail in two." "That's probably gonna piss some people off." "you gotta break some eggs." "don't over-beat." "We are driving again We are driving" "We are driving again We are driving" "We are driving again We are driving" "Sorry." "handsy." "At least buy me dinner first." "Very funny." "now you're just taking advantage of me." "we are here" "I think we made a big mistake." "We may have screwed the pooch on this one." "Or maybe the pooch is gonna screw us." "Sweet Mary in a D-cup." "I think our bus crashed and we're in heaven." "No." "We would've heard:" "we are crashing"" "Let's go see how warm the water is." " Hi." "Do I know you?" " I don't think so." "I'm Nick." "I'm new this year." "Maybe you could show me around." " Who's this?" " Nick." "He's new this year." "needs showing around." " If it's not too much trouble." " You gotta check in." "coming." "It was very nice meeting you." "Hope we see you around." "I'll put a bookmark between you." "That way we know where we left off." "Hi." "What squad are you on?" "Diora." "I believe that's Italiano for "beautiful princess. "" "it should be." " I'm calling the dictionary people." " What squad are you on?" "Gerald R. Ford High." "above-average student body." "what are you doing later?" "Not you." "What about accents?" "You like Aussies?" "You wanna wear my leather hat?" "I'll be checking you in in 10 minutes at the mascot table." " Why are you still here?" " You like canopy beds?" "The last bus from Bitchville just pulled in." " Who's that?" " The Panthers." "They always come in first and they don't let anyone forget it." "You guys came back." "I think that's so brave." "I just hope one day there's a special cheer camp where squads like yours really have a shot." " Shut up." " Truth hurts." " Your face is gonna hurt." " Does your face hurt..." " ... when you stuff it with pie?" " You wish you had my body image." "Skeletor." "Gwyneth." "Meet our new squad members." "I'm Nick." "This is Shawn." "Hi." "Great to meet you." "So you got a little sausage in your soup this year." "BFD." " See you on the cheer field." " It's that big chunk of grass... every year." "Panthers out." "Panthers out?" "a knife gang?" "I hate them." " I think they're kind of cool." "I'm just saying." "Hey." "I'm Nick." "This is Shawn." "I'm Brewster." "Not my real name." "My parents named me Jack." "so masculine." "We get it." "You wanted a boy." "and I kiss girls." " Save it." " Okay." "I'm kind of a neat freak so we'll get along great if you just keep your area clean." "you mean?" " Your bunks." " Okay." "I can't stand clutter." "That's why we left Calcutta." "that and my dad took a job with United Airlines." "sailor." "Some of us are coming over here." "The world is flat like a son of a bitch." "You're giving us a lot to process here." "guys?" "I'm Adam." "I'm Nick." "This is Shawn." "welcome." " Is that your girlfriend?" " Yeah." "That's Jody." "We've been cheering together since we were 5." "So you take this seriously?" "I wanna be the first in my family to go to college on a cheer scholarship." "man." "I hope you break the cycle." "man." " Cool." "Eagle?" "Mascots don't talk." "They just gesture." "baby girl." "It's total immersion." "Hey." "Can someone help me with my stuff?" "Xbox games." "Let's get this party started." "a kindred spirit." "I'm Nick." "This is Shawn." " I'm Downey." " What's up?" "Nice to meet you." "so break it down for us." "How great is this place?" "dude." " Sweet." "Right there." "The coaches are amazing." "Your cheering's gonna be off the charts." "My cheering's gonna be off the charts." "I guess that's a good thing." "What about the ladies?" "Tell me about the ladies." "totally." "Their cheering gets better too." "They see real progress." "What the...?" "dude." "In rows." "It's like the hot-chick produce aisle." "I don't know where to start." "Do we go from tall to short or blond to redhead?" "Maybe just iPod-shuffle mode." "This is why I'd never wanna be president." "Too many decisions." "I don't think that's in the cards." "but George W. was a cheerleader at Yale." "He never thought he'd be president snorting coke through his skull and bones at a New Haven titty bar." "Shawnzy." "And that is what makes America great." "Any idiot can be president." " Let's hear some noise over here!" " Noise over here!" " Let's hear some noise over here!" " Noise over here!" " Are you fired up?" " We're fired up!" " Are you fired up?" " We're fired up!" " How do you spell "fired up"?" " F-U!" "Not really." " How do you spell "fired up"?" " F-U!" " What's that spell?" " Fired up!" " Not really that way either." " Nope." "Damn straight." "F-U." "You're at university now." " Fired Up University." " This is awesome." "my friends." "None of this high school stuff for you." "You got three weeks." "We're gonna take it right to the top to F-U." " F-U!" " F-U!" "Howdy do?" "My name is Coach Keith." "I'm the skipper of this spirit ship." "I was the very first male cheerleader ever to compete at the Nationals." "I was born cheering." "My mother swears the first thing out of her what's-it was a little pair of baby hands doing spirit fingers." "but it really happened." "It is now my absolute pleasure to introduce to you your head counselor..." "Diora." "Let's bring her out here." "he couldn't have." "everyone." "you'll train with me and the other coaches and then compete in a tournament with the top teams going on to the State Finals." "So that would be the Panthers and two other teams." "right here." "I heard that there was this really hard move called the Fountain of Troy that some team did at the Worlds." "Are we gonna learn that?" "I'll teach you how to do the Fountain of Troy." "Then I'll teach you to put makeup on a bear!" "Absolutely not." "it's extremely dangerous." "That move is prohibidado." " Prohibi-what?" " Prohibidado." "And I say that in Spanish because that's how exotic and not-allowed it is." "You can't even say "Fountain of Troy" at this cheer camp." " Go ahead and say it." " Fountain of Tr-!" "Stop it." "What are you doing?" "This isn't a game." "I'm not playing around up here." "Honey." "It's just a joke." "First week of cheer camp." "Lighten things up." "Fountain of Troy." "shut up!" "He's lost his mind." "Stop it!" "Nobody does the Fountain of Troy at this cheer camp." "let's all hit the bunks and get a good night's sleep." "Welcome to cheer camp." "Hi." "dibs." "Dibs on the blond with the butterfly tattoo." "Dibs on that." "I'd like that." "Tell me who it is." " This is Lanie Brown." " Lanie Brown." "Sir Pembleton." "I'm not kidding." "I'm gonna write her name in my book in no time." "Can't believe you document your conquests." "Family owns a payroll company." "Love records." "FICA." "Carly." "Tigers?" " Hey." " Going to take a shower?" "Yeah." "I had my hand in some kid's mouth this morning." "Good idea." "I know where it's been." "And if I don't get some flesh-eating virus from that I probably will after I take a shower barefoot." " I forgot to pack my flip-flops." " Sucks!" "See you later." "here." "Take mine." " I brought two pair." " Really?" "Yeah." "No problem." "We're teammates." "Thanks." " Bye." " See you later." "what did I tell you?" "No hooking up with girls from our school." "man." "You know where nice leads." "remember?" "That's why there are no restaurants called The Bathroom." "There are bathrooms at restaurants." "Shawn." "It is crazy that people think that you're the smart one." "ladies?" "Hi." "see you later." "everybody." "Let's start with a warm-up run." "she's such a fox." "I guarantee I'm gonna tap that before we leave." "and like 30 years old." "That's just how I like them:" "ancient and regretful." "Yeah." "Take it easy on the Dove bars." "Nicholai." "move them." "I always knew there was something else I should be doing." "like there was something more." "Something more inside me." "I guess you could say I had a cheer waiting to get out." "I live to cheer." "And I cheer to live." "I looked that little kitten in the eyes and I knew I had to take her home." "that's who I tell my secrets to." "My grandmother was a cheerleader." "It was what she loved most in the world." "I just picked up the family pom-poms." "This is weird." "I don't usually open up like this." "It's weird." "I don't usually open up like this." "Tigers!" "I love every bone in your body." "Especially mine...?" "Tigers!" "Tigers can't be beat Get up on your feet" "Tigers can't be beat totally suck?" "It's your imagination." "Now go imagine me a bottle of water." "Tigers!" "The French say a day moon brings good luck to whoever sees it." "They also say 8-year-olds should drink wine." "it'll bring good luck for a week." "What is it now?" "so I'd say it's pretty crescent." " Race you." " Cheering isn't a race." " This isn't football." " There's a competition at the end." "get set... she cheats." "I like it." "Zucchini?" "Leafy greens?" "Kale?" "Jicama?" "And sprouts?" "That's the only thing that sucks about cheer camp." "The sacrifices I make for ass." "Remember when I pretended to be into Nickelback for that chick?" "they suck." " So did she." "Up top." "I am not gonna high-five you for a beejer you got a year ago." "That doesn't count." "No." "sis." "Guys looking to go off-menu?" "and German sweet tarts." "Wipes out the taste of every other candy." "I'll take everything you got." "Shawshank." "The screws are watching." "Put it in the sycamore tree out back." " Where's our candy gonna be?" " Check your pockets." "I know." "She's got the shine." "this is so good." "it is." "Diora!" "Diora!" "it is you." "The way the moonlight caught your cheek..." "I thought you were an angel." "just the head counselor who decides whether or not to make you run laps all tomorrow." "huh?" "Hepburn and Tracy." "kiddo." "Run along and play." "that's terrific." "Miss Tracy." " Hepburn was the girl." "ding." "Knockout." "she's like 100 years old." " Shawn." "Got a second?" " Yeah." "Sure." "Some of the girls have been talking about you and Nick." "Don't believe anything anyone says." "They've been saying they think this is the best the team has ever been." "that you can believe." "I just wanted to say thanks." "You guys have been a big help." "Especially you." "Thanks." "you're gonna be there to catch me." "not that Bianca wasn't good." "I don't know." "You feel right." "I like it too." "You're like a home-run ball." "Fifteen-inch brown trout." "A mild cold." "Double feature." "I get it." "Things that you catch." "Shut up." "I know at the beginning I may have been against you two joining the squad" "I believe you called us "godless douche-monsters." "It was "soulless beav-wranglers." "that's better." "I totally misunderstood you." "I'm trying to apologize here." "No need." "And accepted." "Hey." "You'd think as a cheerleader I would be a little more graceful." "I like you clumsy." "It's like I'm looking behind the curtain." "Babe." "Rick." "Rick." "come meet my boyfriend." " What is with that car?" " Maybe he won an LPGA tournament." "I missed you." "Me too." "Definitely." "this is my boyfriend." "actually." " These are the guys I told you about." "guys?" "I'm Dr. Rick." "Really?" "Pound?" "Aren't you a little young to be a doctor?" " He's pre-med." " Then why call yourself "doctor"?" "Why put off the inevitable?" "You should get that mole checked out." "but I don't have my bag on me." "Your book bag?" "actually." "and they introduced us." "Not that funny a story." "Not really even a story." "Just like a fact." "We've been going out since I was a sophomore." "Carly." "I told the guys we'd be done dinner in 45." "babe." "did you?" "I'm glad you made it." "you're glad." "I got a rezzy at Red Lobster." "We've got a booth in the back behind a plant so no one can see how much we're all-you-can-eating." "boys." "Shawn." "I have something for you." "Sweet deal you kids got going on here." "play all summer." "I'm just a little busy picking my specialty." "Specialty?" "You're a freshman." "Your specialty should be putting a cow in the dean's office." "Animal House reference." "Love it!" "so I don't need yours anymore." " Thanks." " Sure." "she can borrow it from me." "he was just being nice." "a seven?" "papo." "Eleven in Crocs." "blue eyes?" "She's like a dragon." "Reminds me of Christmas." "Car- Caroline." "Caroline." "I'm running out of ink." "You got a pen?" "I'm talking to you here." "You been sitting out here staring into space for two hours." " It's been five minutes." " Really?" "That was five minutes?" "Guess I really do suck in bed." "and in all reality I'm like Chad Michael Murray douching it out in five minutes." " What's wrong?" " Nothing." "tell me." " It's nothing." " Tell me." " It's nothing." "tell me..." " Nick." " Sorry." " Tell me?" " Carly's boyfriend's a real schwanz." "you like her." "I knew it." "I knew you liked her." " So?" "It's no big deal." " No big deal?" "She's on our squad." "You're gonna ruin everything." "huh?" "Why you gotta take a leak all over my dreams?" "Why you lay a hot toddy all over my hopes?" "I have never." "bro?" "bro?" "There's just something about her." "You know when she bumped into me on the bus?" "Or when I saw her reading that book." "That she orders pudding for dessert." "now you're just listing things that people do." "I'm not." " Sometimes she writes with a pencil." " So much worse than I thought." "You're really into this girl." "you are." "Why is she with that knob-rocket?" "and I'm a Virgo." "We have got to cheer you up." "my man." "saddle up." "I couldn't help but notice you were practicing your lifts on dry ground." "where else would we practice?" "better training." "Why do you think octopuses have skinny arms?" "That sounds like a good idea." "We can't." "Our swimsuits are all the way back at the bunks." "that's all swimsuits are." "so no one would see us." "but I guess you're right." "Look at that." "We're all here thinking inside the box and you're outside playing a game of "What If?" "Gorgeous and brilliant." "The triple threat." "ladies." "you've done enough working out." "Let's go." "there it is." "I am so excited." "I have not been skinny dipping since Indian Scouts." "Nobody look." "Windmill." "remember?" "You talked." "I listened." "Paint the fence." "Cutting the cake." "Hangman's noose." "Hangman's noose." "Incoming." "Misjudged the depth." "It's all good." "Learn from me." "This feels great." "It's the water resistance." "It helps strengthen." "half the measure..." " ... and if you equivalate that to" " Nick." "Enough of that." " Enough of what?" " Drop the game." "There are 300 girls at this camp and only four straight guys." "It's no mystery why you're ripping through the place." "So come on." "Come on." "Tick tock." "all right." "You're next." "Ladies." " Where are our clothes?" " We left them right here." ""Where are our clothes?" "I'm blazing a trail." "I'm blazing a trail." "See you guys." "have a great Thanksgiving." " What?" "I'm cold." "I know." "How are you not flailing?" "I'm flailing." "I too am also flailing." " So how was she?" " How was who?" " The blond you were making time with." " I wasn't." "We just talked." "She's really nice." "Her grandmother's from Cincinnati." "She helped me on my crossover basket launches." "I can't believe how high my extensions are." "I don't know who you are anymore." "Boys." "What are you doing?" "It's way past curfew." "We were just..." "Practicing." " Yeah." " Al dente?" "Yeah." "We like to do cheers in the nude so that they really sink in." "That way our bodies learn it as well as our minds." "That's very Alvin Ailey of you." "I like it." "running away?" "you goose." "Don't you wanna wait for another coach?" "Or a witness?" "eight." " Ready?" " Okay." "Tigers!" "Tigers!" "Yeah?" "What do we like to eat?" "Panther meat" "Tigers!" "Tigers!" "Yeah?" "What do we like to do?" "Defeat your crankshaft." " Two." "black and white unite fight!" "Tailpipe." "your spacing is insane and your moves sloppier than a kiss from a midshipman." " What?" " Take it from the top." "Positions." "Parallel positions!" "eight." "go bananas go bananas" "You can put me down now." "can I?" "You jerk." "Jack-knocker." "look." " What are they doing?" " It's the Fountain of Troy." "I thought that move was prohibidimabido." "it's okay." "What'd I tell you about that Fountain of Troy?" "you broke her face." "Where am I gonna get another one of those this late in the day?" "Someone call a doctor!" "I wish Rick were here." "so he could ask someone to call a doctor?" "Ever been to a cheerleading competition?" "you mean like a football game?" "not a game." "Those are like practices for us." "I'm talking about a tournament." "ESPN cameras all around." "Hundreds of people in crowds cheering." "Wait." "People cheering cheerleaders?" "You should be in the movies." "You're hotter than all of these cheerleaders rolled together." "Cheerleaders rolled together." "I gotta take a Louis Leakey." "don't get any cuter while I'm gone." "I'm serious." "And let me give you a little tip from a cheerleader." "Be aggressive B" " E aggressive seriously." "Seriously." "I love him." "man." "I don't think I'm into all this hooking up anymore." "it's supposed to feel wrong." "I feel guilty." "I don't know what you're saying." "Milty?" "Wilty?" "Something's not right." " Tilty?" " I've never felt this way before." "Maquilty?" "Is that Dr. Rick?" "Awesome song." "these local chicks are so easy." "It's like banging fish in a barrel." "That Gina was a freak." "I've got bite marks all over my badonkadonk." "Or was that Aubrey?" "Whichever one smells like lavender." "I got that stuff all over me." "will you?" "Jesus." "This guy's a dick." "I don't get why you came here." "You don't even like Carly." "man." "Our parents are old friends... they give me anything I want... with nav that drove your fat ass up here." "Rock it." "Why you gotta take a shot at my weight?" "You know I'm working on it." "He's just using her." "that sick bastard." "I gotta tell her." "I have to." "you really don't." "I kind of do." "It's pretty obvious that you're gonna go against everything I stand for... okay?" "don't tell her." "Why?" "She needs to find out what kind of guy he really is." "you'll be the guy who told her her boyfriend is cheating." "that's all you're ever gonna be." "she looks at you as a girlfriend." "she's pissed at you for poking in her business." "you're not poking in her business." "You marinate with that." " I hear you." "That's good advice." " It is good advice." " Thanks." " That's what friends are for." " Are you good?" " I'm good." "Carly!" "Carly." "There's something I have to tell you." "Carly!" "I was wondering where you were." "I was looking for you too." "But you go first." "What's up?" "I was just wondering about the moon." "is it still crescent or a half-moon?" "What the French have to say about it?" "I'm an idiot." "and you're not an idiot." "Unless you don't know what "waxing" means." "I know what "waxing" means." " Carly horse." " Rick." " That's what he calls you?" " Yeah." "He means it cute." "high school?" " You smell like lavender." "Yeah." "We're learning about the effects of lavender therapy on type-two carcinoma patients." "How's that working out?" "Anyone go into remission after smelling a flower?" "man." "Carly." " That is so sweet." "Where are they?" "I made a special wish on them and threw them into the sky." "That is so romantic." "Carlito's Way." "I told the guys I'd be done with dinner in 40." "I'll see you at practice?" "Shawn here is a great leather-basket tosser." "What a great trick." "Not as good as yours." "Shawn." " Awesome date." " I'll see you at the competition?" "I wouldn't miss it for the world." "Bye." "babe." "You know what reminds me of the better times?" "Before Carly started hanging out with those two little suck-buckets." "Something's up with them." "Wanna stay and do some digging?" "Big-time." "You know why?" "man." "eight." "Tigers!" "two." "guys." "Let's take a little water break." "Are my hips rotating too late before the final toss?" "but you gotta rotate and then catch." "then catch." " We're out of water." " We need two volunteers to refill." " I'll go." " Me too." "Shawn." "God- okay?" "Hi." "I don't know if I've told you this yet... it's been incredible." "you've made me a better cheerleader." "I owe you" " You have some food in your teeth." "And your pecs are uneven." "Make sure you don't favor one side." "Always coaching." "God bless you!" "Why can't I crack this?" "Damn it." "So how often did you see Dr. Rick during the school year?" "I don't know why he keeps calling himself that." "It's kind of douchey." "no." "It's super cool." "I can't believe he's my pre-fiancé." "I decided that I was not gonna get married until I was 34." "I had it all thought out." "a year abroad in Greece..." "I always loved Greek salad." "that makes perfect sense." "I know." "It's silly." "I love that you had it all planned out." " You know what John Lennon said." " Not really." "I'm not in my 50s." "I could ask my dad." "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." "Yeah." "this is heavy." "Are you okay?" "You look hot." "Do you want some water?" "sure." "Thanks." " Here." "Did you say I looked hot?" "I'm pretty sure that's what I heard." "really?" "my God." "Don't move." "There's a bee on you." "What?" "No." "Get it off." "You little bitch!" "here we come." "I love the smell of pom-pom in the morning." "Let's do this." " Where you going?" " Post-breakfast practice." "Carly and I are gonna work on reverse cartwheels." "My left foot keeps hitching when I do my inverse swing-over." "It's like:" "all right?" "Week three." "Hit it and quit it." "we gotta- We gotta stay longer." "it's time to go." "Remember Mookie's dad's house?" "The plasmas and the Jacuzzis." "but I just" " I think we should stay just a touch longer." "I'm done." "All right?" "I've had enough girl." "Breadsticks only keep you at the Olive Garden for so long." "you say:" "Why am I at Olive Garden with these fat people?" " What?" "No..." " Let's go." "let's go." "Let's pack." "Let's just dialogue for a second." "we do." "The bus leaves in an hour." "Next one's not until tomorrow." "man." "What about our squad?" "the competition's coming up." "the squad?" "The competition?" "Listen to yourself." "We had a deal." "Two weeks." "Right?" "cheer camp." "we are leaving" "We are leaving start packing." "I need a little bit more time with Carly." "There." "I said it." "Okay?" "but can you give me one day?" "bro." "That's gay." "pursuing a woman you have heterosexual feelings for..." "Nick." "that is." "Shawn." "Don't forget we're gonna go over our reverse cartwheels." "I'll be right there." " See you there." "All right." "Right behind him." "let's go." "You know the deal." "you're gonna thank me for this." "Shawnzy." "And no more moping." "All right?" "nor is orange and gray." "Takes away from your eyes." "damn it..." "What are you doing?" "probably making the biggest mistake of my life." "Except that year I wore that leather wristband." "you know?" "I'm not a blacksmith." "That was a little Nickelback-y." "we stay." "what about Mookie's house?" "Are you coming or not?" "we are staying?" "so don't turn a yes into a no." "man." "I know you don't like man-to-man touching but my arm is on your shoulder." "Here comes my arm right now." " Another day" " Another holler" "You're wasting my precious breath." "I can't hear you." " Another day" " Another holler" " Another day" " Another holler" "Another day got a second?" "Wrong section of the woods." "You want the northeast corner near the redwoods." "What?" "I wanna know if you know two dudes named Nick and Shawn." "Yeah." "They're my bunkmates." "Why?" "eight." "no." " Are you okay?" "Tiger." "I'm fine." " You all right?" "I'm okay." "I just suck." " It's not just you." "We all kind of suck." " We're not good at all." "stop." "Stop talking like that." " But it's true." "We're just not that good." "Stop." "Enough of that." "You can go as far as you want." "What do the Panthers have that you don't have?" " Skills." " Athleticism." " Kickass cheers." " Hair removal." "Big-ass titties." "I'm just saying." "Confidence." "They're cocky assholes." "the cockiest asshole on the football field." "That's why he's good." " I'm awesome." " Because he believes in himself." "Also because I'm awesome." "so he's good." "And he takes chances." "Due to the fact that I'm awesome." " Nick." "Trying to make a speech here." " I'm sorry." "Either bet big or go home." "then you shouldn't even be here." "because you finish last every single year but you keep coming back even if it means taking endless shit from total dong-knockers like the Panthers." "I wanna cut the blond one." " What?" " What?" " What?" " What?" " What?" " I'm just saying." "guys." "Let's be cocky assholes." "He's right." "And I can say that... so you can all suck my dick." "I was just being a cocky asshole." "nice." "Did you see what she was doing there?" "That's exactly what I want from everybody." "let's do this." "you're awesome." "Let's risk it to get the biscuit." "bitches." "guys." "Ready." "Hit it!" "All you chumps Think you got poise" "You prance around like little toys" "Do you really think You can make some noise?" "eight." "Tigers!" " Get cocky." " Get cocky." "everybody." "tigres." "There it is." "get cocky." "here we go." "Keep it tight." "let's work." "eight." "There it is." "Shawnzy." "brother." "Awesome." "So much better." "Tigers!" "la tigres." "Come on." "bringing some A-game." "You are some cocky bitches." "I think it's safe to say that you guys are now officially Tigers." "girls?" " All right." "three." "Tigers!" "frauds!" " Rick?" " These two have been playing you." "They didn't come because they like cheerleading." "They came here because they like cheerleaders." "we know." " Everyone knows." "Rick?" " Bus tickets." " Damn it." "Your friends were planning on leaving before the competition without any feeling for anyone they may have left in their wake." " Animals." " You were gonna leave?" "but we didn't." "That's way before you and I ever" " You were gonna do this to the squad?" " I can explain." "but..." " ..." "I thought you started to get into it." " I did." "but then it became about you." "that doesn't sound right." " That sounds exactly right." "brother." "Bail." "Carly." "dicklick." "Shawn?" "By lying to them?" "he lied to you before he really cared then he tried super hard to word it so it wouldn't be a lie after that." "Just so we're on the same page." "I would crack you in the jaw." " You're a tool for healing." " That's right." "You're the guy who's fancy with his words." "why don't I just read your diary?" " Where did you get that?" " I've done a bad thing." "I'm so sorry." "I'm sorry." "I'm a sorry Suzy right now." "He tricked me." "You tricked me." "This is how it happened." "Brewster!" "I brought him to the bunk." "He must've seen your stuff on the couch." " Why was it on the couch?" " I was cleaning up your mess." "I told you I can't stand clutter." "I warned you." "day one." "The sun rises in the summer sky like Rembrandt's brush on a dogwood branch." " Queeratron." " Let's go." "Give it to me." "Abercrombie  Bitch." "And thereby Diora" "' as a whisper in an ear?" "in a moment with a tear?" "Let's go." "Let's go." "Let's go." "I'm really sorry." "I didn't mean to hurt you." "okay?" "Just leave like you always planned on doing." "let me explain." "Give me just one second." "high school." "I didn't write that." "I bought the book." "It was in there." "It was beautiful." "Thanks." "Never really thought of that one." "Using one's true feelings to wrangle snooch." "So simple." "huh?" "We're humans." "Humans lie." "They tell big gigantic two-week-long lies because they're humans." "Stop saying "humans. " We did this." "Because we're humans." "humans are the only species that can lie." "Except for maybe chameleons." "And possums." "They play dead." "What's that?" "huh?" "so he gave it to me." "How nice." "bro." "liked you" liked you." "What?" "That's crazy." "Downey isn't gay." "come on." "Think about it." "I'm Nick." "This is Shawn." " What's up?" "I'm Downey." " Hey." "Nice to meet you." "Put it in there." "A little cheer camp." "Crazy good times." "Yeah." "It's gonna be fun." "Tigers!" "Tigers!" "Diora." "Nick." "You wanna go out on the field and maybe count shooting stars with me?" "Downey." "Classic." "Raw-hamburger fight!" "I'm hit." "Medic!" "This man needs some jocks-ygen." "we're losing him." "Don't you die on me." "Don't die on me." "Don't you die on me." "You prance around like little toys" "Do you really think You can make some noise?" "eight." "Tigers!" "Welcome back to Sucktown." "Population: you." "again." "Why don't you get your nose job out of everybody else's business." "I got thrown by a horse." "Why?" "Was he spooked because you both have the same face?" "You're gonna die." "You're gonna die." "don't." "You're placing your anger at the boys on them." "It's transference." "You're right." "I'm gonna punch you in the throat!" "Let it go." "Look at that little hottie." "Wonder what she wants to do with her life." "What?" "You know how Bianca wants to go to cooking school... and... my God." "friends." "And I care." "I'm becoming like a fully formed person with like sensitivity and empathy." "I'm a person!" "Look at the pooper on that one." "I could rest my beer on that shit." "And you're back." "What kind of dressing goes on a Greek salad?" "top shelf." "or is this not nearly as much fun as it was last year?" "It's not you." "This is too high." "Give me a boost." "Shoulder stand." " Ready?" " Okay." "eight." "dismount." "buddy." "Guys?" "Don't take this the wrong way but I think there's someone you should talk to." "I'm am Reginald von Belly Button." "I love Twinkies." "The competition's tomorrow." "I wonder if we could win it." "Did you say "I wonder if we could win"?" "you did." " You totally did." " Didn't." "You wanna go back." "You're into cheering." "I'm the captain of the football team." "I could give a rat's ass about cheering." " You're a cheerleader." " You're misquoting me." "Do you wanna go back?" "For you." "Because I can't stand seeing my best friend in Frown Town." "That's how selfless I am." "I would sacrifice myself to cheer you up." "I'm like Gandhi." " Gandhi?" " Gandhi!" " Mahatma K. Gandhi." " Quake'n Bake!" "Bus leaves in 20 minutes." "we have a chance at landing that aerial." "I don't know who you are anymore." "Kenny's asleep on the couch." "We're gonna get whipped cream and paint his face." "dudes." "my horse is peeing." "What is that?" "Go back to sleep." "Why are you in my bed?" "I must have sleepwalked." "I'm here now." "Let's just make the best of it." "Bianca." " I kind of can't." " Why?" "I might not have pants on." " What are you doing here?" " I came back." "just listen to me." " Why?" " We're teammates." "Teammates don't join a team under false pretenses then leave once they get what they want." "and you should be." "I lied to you." "But this is about the squad." "We all worked way too hard to throw it away." "How are you standing in the air?" "Just take us back already." "Christ!" "Nick." "Carly... but that's not why I'm here." "sexy Jesus." " Why are you here?" " Honestly?" "buddy." " Buddy." " I like cheering." "Fraggle Rock." "man." "My pecs are sore." "Diora's right." "My left side is weaker." " I favor one side." " Pull me up." "Pull me up." "Is this your plan to get a little face time with me?" "seriously." "come on." "We need them." " I don't wanna come in last again." "Fine." "But I'm only doing this for the squad." "You got it." " Bianca?" " Yeah." "Any chance you could throw on a pair of underpants?" "It's competition day today." "Competition." "it is." "if it isn't a couple of wolves in cheer clothing." "Which part of "next time I see your punim they'll be on the moon"... the whole thing?" "I'm gonna have to go ahead and ask you both to go ahead and leave right now to leave now." "It's all right." "I told them they could stay." "You really want these strong-jawed philanderers on your squad?" "Yeah." "It was just a little misunderstanding we had before." "All right." "Your choice." "I'm gonna have both your asses." "That's frightening." "Let's move it along." "Giddyup and roar." "Let me see those claws." "Move it along." "Meet me on Taryn Field tonight after the competition." "Bring your diary." "Only if you bring the dance in your step like a shimmering nymph traveling the back of the wind." "and welcome to Channel 29's coverage of the Regional Southeastern Illinois Cheerleading Competition." "Bend at the hips and reach through your hands." "Don't lock- please give us the strength to land our flip-flops and basket tosses." "and fix the economy." "yellow leather." " Unique New York." " Unique New York." "Barack Obama." "kill..." " Shawn." " Carly." "I know." "I know." "I want you to know why." "It's just I thought you and I got really close and I trusted you." "I know." "I felt the same way about you." "Carly." "And I don't expect you to forgive me." "I want you to know I'm sorry." "There's my Carly Davidson!" "Rick." " Just came by to say break a leg." " That's theater." "This is cheering." "You better believe it." "Dick?" " It's Rick." "Dr. Rick." "I keep doing that." "You just look like such a Dick to me." "What are you crunt-sacks doing back here?" "It's okay." "They're just helping us do our final routine." "I'll be watching you." "Yeah." "That's exactly what an audience member does at a performance event." "Rick." "Meet the Parents reference." "Love it." "he seems great." " Really nice." "I like him." "Here you go." "Look alive." "Coming at you." "Here you go." "Look alive." "freak shows." "New uniforms." " Here you go." "Look alive." " We didn't order these." "lesbatron." "My brother did." "We're a new squad." "We need new uniforms." "Shawn." " Awesome." "Thank you." " Okay." "You owe me 127.80." " You said it was gonna be 200." "Poppy." "Thank you." "That's actually human of you." "buddy." "You're doing me a favor." "so cheat out to camera." "And work this into your cheer:" "Staples now carries 30-percent recycled copy paper." "committed to you." " Hey." " Okay." "it's my shoe in your ass." " That seems fair." " You look great." "Are you in love?" "Stay safe." "kid?" " Downey." " Good to have you back." "Why didn't you tell me you're gay?" "I'd have been totally okay with that." " Paint with all the colors of the wind." " Wait." "You're straight?" "Am I straight?" "Yes." "But what about your diary?" "Then you asked for my beads and stuck them in your mouth" " I thought it was a bracelet." " A bracelet in your mouth?" " I don't know." " The closet door... brother." "What?" " All kinds." " Okay." "that is so awkward." "have really come to play today." "Panthers" "Kill!" "they're kind of great." " Yeah." "guys." "It's about us." "Just stay focused." "We'll be fine." "Panthers out." "let me get that for you." "Drool much?" "Panthers out." "courtesy of Staples." "30-percent recycled copy paper." "committed to you." "Do you have 50-percent recycled paper?" "No." "But I have 50-percent recycled asshole paper." "It's in the men's room." "just take it." "Let's do this." " Tigers!" " Let's go." "Let's go." " Tigers!" " Let's go." "Let's go." "Illinois." "This team historically ranks last like their namesake president." "Let's see if they've stepped it up this year." "this can't be on TV." "Don't worry." "It's NBC." "No one watches network television anymore." "cheerleading." "Shawn too." "They're cheerleaders." "I thought those dudes were in the kitchen." "All you chumps think you got poise You prance around like little toys" "Shit." "My chickens." "eight." "Tigers!" "tight formations." "Looks like the addition of those two new guys is really paying off." "that bitch." " It's not totally her fault." " I was talking about Dr. Dick." "It sucks." "Don't let it distract you." "We're gonna win." "we're not." "We're not as good as the others." "we are." "And there's one way we can prove it." "right." "I thought that move was prohibidimibidibabido." "Remember Lennon?" "Life's what happens when you're busy making other plans." "Shawn." "I never said it was." "You can do it." "I know you can." "I'll jump it with you." "I still just don't see them qualifying for States." "They are just not in the same league as the top teams here." " Who's gonna catch me?" " Nick." " Who's gonna catch you?" " Them." "I have total faith in them." "They're Tigers." " But what if they don't?" " Bet big or go home." "You gotta risk it to get the biscuit." " We're doing it." " You sure?" "We're doing a lot of talking." "This seems like a lot of talking during the routine." "Lot of talking during the routine." "back." "double-back handspring to end it." " Got it." " Ready?" "Break." "Is this what I think it is?" "Are the Tigers trying the Fountain of Troy?" "This is the most dangerous move in cheerleading." "OMG." "That's prohibidado." "I told them in Spanish." "How much clearer could I have been?" "Here comes the build." "Nice." "An awesome flying pose." "the final fountain." "And now for the final dismount." "Yes." "Perfect." "And the final flip out." "and..." "Tigers!" "Shawn!" "Tigers!" "That little shit." "My chicken shit." "buddy." "God." "Hey." "Hey." "Did we win?" "Are we going to States?" "we came in 19th." "I'm sorry." "Are you kidding?" "That's 10 places better than we did last year." "If they didn't deduct points for the Fountain of Troy we might've made top three." "You nailed your triple backflip." "I nailed my double backflip because a triple backflip would've landed me in the water." "I did do three." "That makes more sense." " What was that?" " About three weeks overdue." "What the hell are you doing?" "Kissing my teammate." "You wanna die today?" "I can take life just as fast as I can give it." "you're not a doctor." "you're not my boyfriend." "come on." "You're dumping me for him?" "period." "period." "If that's okay with him." "Question mark." "Totally." "Exclamation point." "underline." "Moe and Carly." "sugar." "Carly-fornia." "Why don't you run along now?" "the sadder it gets." "buddy." "Jesus." " Nick." " Nick." "That was for the Crocs." "You're not an old lady gardening or a baby on the beach." "you're embarrassing yourself." "I'm just saying." " You okay?" " Nothing a kiss can't fix." "Wait till tonight." "I'm gonna make a wish on these and throw them into the sky." "bleeding I'll make you wait for days." "Unless one of you has Blue Cross... none of that HMO bullshit!" "This is so cute." "The 19th-placers." "You're like the littlest pigs." " How does it feel to still suck ass?" " You tell me." "Please don't hurt us." "I was just kidding about the whole rivalry thing." "Cheering doesn't mean that much to me." "I wanna be a paralegal." "I love your hair." "Go." "That bitch is crazy." "Bianca." "I didn't know you had it in you." "There's a lot you don't know about her." "You know that John Lennon "life happening" "risk it to get the biscuit" stuff you said back there?" "It didn't really make sense." "it got you to do it." "No." "You got me to do it." "kid." "You got what you wanted." "Thanks to you." "I couldn't have done it without you." " Just shut up." "Shut up." " Is it hard for you to accept thanks?" " You want me to accept thanks?" " Yeah." "Open up to me." "Here it comes from my mouth." "And you're welcome." "Diora." "Lose the clothes." "That's good." "No." " Read me something from your diary." " What?" "perchance to love a wind" " Hair..." " the summer skies as teardrops cascade from my lo" "my God." "My husband." "This is not what it looks like." "Looks like you're running some naked drill." "Exactly." " Carry on." " With what?" "Kissing your wife?" "eight." "Tigers!" "Yeah?" "Hold it." "I'm gonna lay my hands on you to get a really good sense of your movement." "eight." "Tigers!" " Yeah!" "Tigers!" " Yeah!" " What do we like to-?" " Panther meat!" "mother of God!" "I don't wanna run laps all afternoon." "I have a shrink appointment." "your cousin stuck his finger in your ass." "Get over it." "your dad put his wang on your shoulder." "your mom gave you an HJ and tipped you a dollar." "Your cousin whacked you in the face with his wang." "your cousin put his wiener on your plate." "You gotta get over it." "man?" "I'm too straight to be gay." "I could watch What Not to Wear with Nathan Lane in my blouse and still win a straight award." "That's not right." "I could smoke pole and still be straight." " I can't say "smoke pole"?" " No." "Carly." "Come here." "We're working on a new mount Bianca came up with." "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "lesbatron." "island of Greece." "Dixie Chick." "what?" "Just joking." "Sorry." "The Fountain of Troy?" "I thought that move was prohibidabido." "It's not prohibidabido?" "I'm pretty sure it's prohibibabido." "Cut." "Go ahead and clap." "Mediocrity deserves applause." "Why don't we go find a Ford Focus and clap around it?" "Mascot down!" "It's a dragon!" "Tell me about that road." "Is it lonely on that road?" "Have you made up your mind?" " You gonna waste any more time?" " No!" "Then here we go." " F-U!" " F-U!" "You're damn straight." "F-U!" "the air feels so good." "kiss me." "What are you doing?" "sexy beast." "And that's how you kiss a guy." "Okay." "again."