"Four, five, six, seven, eight." "Now, girls..." "Come on, girls." "Anybody?" "Anybody else?" "Jenny, again." "Isn't it because Mr Rochester is blind?" "Yes, Jenny." "I've got an English essay to do by tomorrow morning." "Right." "So the only sound I want to hear coming through the ceiling is the sound of sweat dripping onto textbooks." " Cello?" " Mmm." "No cello." "I thought we agreed that cello was my interest or hobby." "Well, it already is your interest or hobby." "So when they ask you at the Oxford interview," ""What is your interest or hobby?"" "you can say the cello and you won't be lying." "But you don't have to practise a hobby." "A hobby is a hobby." "Can I stop going to the youth orchestra, then?" "No!" "No, no, the youth orchestra's a good thing." " That shows you're a joiner-inner." " Yes, but I've already joined in." "So now I can stop." "No!" "No, that just shows the opposite." "Don't you see?" "No, that shows you're a rebel." "They don't want that at Oxford." "No." "They don't want people who can think for themselves." "No, of course they don't." "See you Wednesday." "All right, okay." "Bye." "Jenny?" "Should I wear, like, Sunday best?" "Better, I'm afraid." "Just to show my father you're un jeune homme sérieux, not a Teddy Boy." "Oh, God." "Right." "I'm going to go." "It's going to bucket down in a minute." " Oh, okay, right." " I'll see you at the weekend." " Bye, then." " Bye." " Sorry." " Sorry." "Goodbye, my love!" "Come on, come on." "No!" " Stop it now, stop it." "That's enough." "Oh, now look what you've done." "Come here." "The nice man's waiting for us." " It fell off!" " No, it didn't fall off." " You kicked it off." "Now, come on." " But my sock's all wet!" "Hello." "Look, if you had any sense, you wouldn't take a lift from a strange man, but I'm a music lover and I'm worried about your cello," "so what I propose is you put it in my car and walk alongside me." "How do I know you won't just drive off with the cello?" "Good point." "Um..." "How much does a new cello cost?" "£10, £15?" "I don't know." "Let's say 15." "No?" "All right." "Up to you." " And that." " Right." " I'm David, by the way." " Jenny." "Very good." " How did the concert go?" " It was a rehearsal." " The concert's next Thursday." " What are you playing?" " Elgar." " Ah!" "I think it's a shame he spent so much time in Worcester, don't you?" "Because Worcester's too near Birmingham, and you can hear that in the music." "There's a terrible Brummy accent in there, if you listen hard enough." "Anyway, Elgar and the Jews don't mix very well." " I'm not a Jew." " No, I am." " Oh!" " I wasn't accusing you." "Can I sit in the car with my cello?" "Jump in." "I've never seen a car like this before." "C'est très chic." "It's a Bristol." "Not many of them made." " Where to, madam?" " I only live round the corner." " Worse luck." " I'll see what I can do." "I suppose cellists must go to a lot of concerts." "Oh, we don't go to any concerts." "We don't believe in them." " Oh, they're real." " So people say." " Smoke?" " I'd better not." "I live just up there." " Why don't we believe in them?" " He'd say there's no point to them." " Your father, this is?" " Oh, yes." "They're just for fun." "Apart from school concerts, which are no fun at all, so we go to those." " They don't help you get on." " Which, of course, is what's so wonderful about them." " Anyway, you'll go one day." " I know." "I will." "If I go to university, I'm going to read what I want and listen to what I want, and I'm going to look at paintings and watch French films and I'm going to talk to people who know lots about lots." " Good for you." " Yes." " Which university?" " Oxford." "If I'm lucky." "Did you go anywhere?" "I studied what I believe they call "the university of life"." "I didn't get a very good degree, though." "Well, thank you for driving me home." " Are you all right?" "Have you got it?" " Yes, it's fine." " Thank you." " My pleasure." "# Sous le ciel de Paris marchent des amoureux" "# Mmm, mmm" "# Sous le pont de Bercy" "# Un philosophe assis" "# Deux musiciens, quelques badauds" "# Puis les gens par milliers #" "I don't want to hear any French singing!" "French singing wasn't on the syllabus last time I looked!" " Battenberg?" " Thank you." "I actually like the crust." "So where are you applying, Graham?" " I'm not sure yet." " Well!" "When will you be sure?" "You can't let the grass grow under your feet, young man." " I might take a year off." " What for?" "I don't know, maybe do some travelling." "That sort of thing." "Travelling?" "What are you, a Teddy Boy?" "You know she's going to Oxford, don't you?" "If we get her Latin up to scratch." "So while she's studying English at Oxford, you'll be the wandering Jew." "Mr Mellor, I'm not a Teddy Boy." "I'm an homme sérieux jeune." "Uh..." "No." "Yeah!" "I'm a homme jeune sérieux." "A homme..." " They're for me." " Who are they from?" " Gosh." "Him." " What's this?" "Jack, I'm afraid Jenny's been sent some flowers from a chap." " A chap?" "What kind of chap?" " He's wishing me luck for tonight." "Oh, is that all he's wishing you?" "Where'd he get the money from?" " He earns it, I expect." " Earns it?" "Why isn't he at school?" "Um, can we just go?" "Otherwise the good luck flowers will actually be responsible for me actually missing the concert, which would be ironic, n'est-ce pas?" " I don't..." "I don't like it." " Objection noted." "Jenny?" " Noted." " Yeah, well..." "There's got to be 10 bob's worth of luck here." "I mean..." "That's a bit much for a schoolgirl, isn't it?" "Well, we can't leave it here!" "I mean, even I'd burgle a house with flowers left outside." "They'll think we're made of money." "Thank you, Marjorie." "Camus doesn't want you to like him." "Feeling is bourgeois." "Being engagée is bourgeois." "He kills someone, and he doesn't feel anything." "His mother dies, and he doesn't feel anything." "I wouldn't feel anything if my mother died." "Does that make me an existentialist?" "No." "That makes you a cow." "Une vache." "Well, after I've been to university, I'm going to be French, and I'm going to Paris, and I'm going to smoke and wear black and listen to Jacques Brel, and I won't speak, ever." "C'est plus chic comme ça." "Oh, crikey!" "What?" "Wait here." "Hello!" "Hello." "Hello." "Um, thank you." " How did it go?" " Uh, fine, I think." "I didn't mess my bit up." "Nobody got thrown out of the orchestra afterwards." "Always the mark of a cultural triumph." "Listen, I'm glad I ran into you." " What are you doing on Friday?" " Going to school." "I meant in the evening." "Of course." "Nothing." "Because I'm going to listen to some Ravel in St John's Smith Square." "My friends Danny and Helen would be coming, too, so it wouldn't be..." "I'll tell you what, I'll come and pick you up, and if your mother and father disapprove, then you can have the tickets and go with one of them." " How does that sound?" " Thank you." " And I'd like to go with you." "7:00?" "What are they saying?" "And, um, probably go for a spot of supper afterwards." " Supper?" " Mmm." "If you want to." "Well the thing is, we'll probably have eaten." "Well, if you'd like supper, then perhaps on Friday you could not eat?" "Yes." "Of course." "A spot of supper?" "You've heard of supper." "We've heard of it, but we've never eaten it." "So you're going to have to tell us everything." "Otherwise it's not fair." " I won't allow it!" " Fine!" "He's more than happy" " for you to take me." " Fine, I will." " Good!" " Well, where is it?" " St John's Smith Square." " Where's that?" "I don't know." "I'm sure we could find out." "It's in Westminster." "Right next door to the Abbey." " How do you know that?" " I had a life before we were married, you know." "You soon put a stop to that." " Well, there you are." " Where are we?" "We're near Westminster Abbey." "I'm not going all the way over there." "The trouble is that's where St John's Smith Square is." "Well, there must be something on locally." "Where's the paper?" "She wants to see someone who can play." "She doesn't want to see Sheila Kirkland scratching away." "I'll take her." "And how do you propose to get there?" "RAF helicopter?" " That's him." " Oh, bloody hell!" " Jack!" " Oh, by the way, David's a Jew." "A wandering Jew." "So watch yourself." "What does she mean by that?" "I've never said anything like that!" "It's just an expression." "I've got nothing against the Jews..." "Glad to hear it." "Hello." "I didn't mean I've got nothing against you." "No, of course I do mean that." " Dad." " No." "It's..." "Sorry, it's just that..." "You're not the sort of person that I would be against." "Well, I wouldn't, because I'm not the kind of person who would be against people." "I'm Jack." "This is my wife, Marjorie." "You didn't tell me you had a sister, Jenny." "Please." "You're a lucky man, Jack." "Yes, I suppose I am." " This is lovely." " Thank you." "Oh, I'm sorry, David." "Would you like a drink?" "I'd love one, Jack, but we're running a little late." "If Jenny's ready, perhaps we'll shoot off?" "Actually, David, Dad has something he has to tell you." "No, no." "Really." "Well, it was just a question, a point of reference." "What's the best way to get to St John's Smith Square from here?" "It's a straight run, really." "Up to Hammersmith, take the A4 through Kensington, you're there." " As simple as that?" " As simple as that." " Shall I book us some tickets?" " No." "Well, have her back by 10:00, David." "Well, I was hoping she might come with me afterwards for a spot of supper with my Aunt Helen." "Oh, well..." "No, no, well..." "She's usually in bed by then." "What if I promise to have her back by 11:30?" "Well, it's Friday night, and you are going all the way to the West End." "Thanks, Jack." "I appreciate it." "All right." " Bye." " Bye-bye." "Have a nice time." "Come on." "Hello, hello!" " Ah!" "Are we late?" "No, I thought we were going to miss the beginning, and then it wouldn't be worth going in and we could all go off dancing or something." "Helen is one of the more reluctant members" " of tonight's audience." " Hello." "Jenny, these are my friends, Helen and Danny." "Shall we?" "Hello." " All right?" "Four, please." "Thank you, sir." " Sorry." " That's all right." " It's lovely, isn't it?" " It's beautiful." " Where did you get it from?" " Oh, I don't know." "Chelsea somewhere." "Oh, yours is..." "Well, good for this sort of concert, isn't it?" "Thank you." "We should go shopping together one day, you and I, if you want." "That would be nice." "But Chelsea, c'est beaucoup trop cher pour moi." "Sorry?" "I just said, "It's too expensive for me. "" "No, you didn't." "You said something completely different." "No, well..." " I said it in French." " In French?" "Why?" "I don't know." "Well, Chelsea's too expensive for me, too, really, but we don't have to worry about that." "If you want something in Chelsea, just get David to take you shopping." "Why would David want to take me shopping?" "I booked a table at Juliette's." "Will that kill the mood, do you think?" "Oh, I hope so!" "God, I always think I'm going to my own funeral when I listen to classical music." " That was classical, wasn't it?" " Yes." "Very classical." " As classical as you can get." " Juliette's it is, then." "Heaven forbid we should end the evening reflecting on our own mortality." "# I want a Sunday kind of love" "# A love to last past Saturday night # ...Miles Davis, Sartre..." "Extraordinary woman, Gréco." "Just like you, Helen." "What about Chante Françoise Sagan?" "Have you heard that one?" " It's wonderful." " I've only got..." "I think it's just called Juliette Gréco." "The one with the eyes on the sleeve?" "I saved up and got my French Conversation teacher to bring it back after Christmas." " You have a French Conversation teacher?" " Yes." "Is that why you suddenly speak French for no reason?" "Have you never heard her sing?" "She's marvellous." "You should see her in Paris, though, not here." "David will take you." " I'd love to." "You'd fit right in." " Better than here, really." "Isn't it wonderful to find a young person who wants to know things?" "There's so much I want you to see." "Are you all right to come and have a look at that Pembroke Villas place with me on Friday, Danny?" "Oh, no, I can't." "There's a Burne-Jones coming up at Christie's on Friday." "Desperate to get my hands on it." "You're thinking of buying a Burne-Jones?" " Mmm." " A real one?" "I just have a feeling the Pre-Raphaelites are going to take off." "I love the Pre-Raphaelites!" "Do you?" " Yes, of course!" "Rossetti and Burne-Jones, anyway." "Not Holman Hunt so much," " he's so garish." " Oh, absolutely." "Well, why don't we all go to the auction together?" " Auction!" "Gosh, how exciting." " It's Friday morning." "Friday." "Oh." " You're busy?" " Well, yes." "Tant pis." "Quel dommage." "C'est pas de problème." "C'est..." "Are you sure you're busy?" " No." "I'm sure I could rearrange." "That would be lovely." "# You got me wrapped around your # little finger #..." "little finger" "# If this is love # If this is love..." "# It's everything I hoped it would be" "# When we kiss" "# It's as if" "# Our lips agree" "# That we were meant to be" "# When we touch... #" " What are you doing?" " I can't get this casserole dish clean, it's all burned around the..." "It's 25 to 12:00." " We finished tea at 7:00." " I know what time it is." "How was your evening?" "Best night of my life." "Night, Mum." "I think there were two violins, one cello, two violas, a harp..." "I don't want to hear about Ravel." "I want to know what else was on the programme." "It was nothing like that." "He was a perfect gentleman." "He just said he wanted to take me places and show me things." " "Things"?" " Plural?" "My God!" "I knew that Jane Eyre would eventually work its magic on you." "I'm assuming that's what you're all so animated about." "Of course." "Jane Eyre" " and Jenny's new boyfriend." " He's not my new boyfriend." "That's true." "He's more of a man friend, actually." " He's got a sports car, Miss Stubbs!" " It's maroon." "So could we call him a Mr Rochester figure?" "I think he must be as blind as Mr Rochester." "You may or may not have noticed I'm trying to steer the subject away from Jenny's lurid love life into the matter in hand." "And it is clear from this evidence that most of you know far too much about the former and next to nothing about the latter." "Reluctantly, I have to admit that Jenny is clearly an expert on both." "Excellent as always, Jenny." " Hello." " Hello." "Any further bids?" " Sold, then, for 60 guineas." " Hello." "You're late." "We now turn to Lot 41." "The Tree of Forgiveness by Sir Edward Burne-Jones." "This is a rare opportunity to purchase a key work of the Pre-Raphaelite movement." " Who will start me off at 100 guineas?" " Is it that one?" "Yes, that's the one." "Fifty guineas?" "Twenty guineas?" "Thank you." "Forty?" "Thank you, sir." "Do I hear 60?" "Eighty guineas?" "Thank you, sir." "Another one, madam?" "One hundred guineas?" "One hundred and twenty?" "No further bids?" " Your turn." " What?" " Any further bids?" " Your turn." " Any more?" " Quick!" "One hundred and twenty guineas from the very eager new bidder." "One hundred and forty, madam?" "Thank you." "One hundred and sixty guineas?" "One hundred and eighty?" "Thank you." "Two hundred guineas?" "Two hundred and twenty?" "Another one, madam?" "Sold for 200 guineas." "Thank you." " Your name, please?" " Mellor." "Now we move on to Lot 42..." "Thank you very much." "I couldn't possibly have bought it without you." "Just a couple of years ago, you could pick one of them up for 50 quid." "No one was interested." "Oh, I would have been so interested." "As you can see, I just love things." "That's not a Lockey-Hill!" "There aren't many people who come in here and say that." "No, certainly not me." " Oh, it's beautiful!" "Do you play?" " Thank you." "I used to." "I vowed to myself that one day I'd own one of these and now I do own one, I don't touch the bugger." "It's vulgar, really, putting it on display." "Give it to Jenny." " I think that would be even more vulgar." "Play for us, Jenny." " No, one day, when I'm good enough." " She's good enough now." "David, you've never seen me play." "I can come and hear you in Oxford, when you get there." "We should all go and spend a weekend in Oxford." "Straw boaters, punting, cream teas..." " Boats." " ... antiquarian book shops." "Bit of business, if we can find it." " What about next weekend?" "Mmm!" "Yes." "I wouldn't be allowed to do that." " I'll talk to them." " You're going to ask my father if you can take me away for the weekend?" " He'd have you arrested." " We'll see." " I bet you can't." " How much?" "I'd be careful if I were you, Jenny." "You don't know who you're dealing with." "Half a crown." "You're on." "How do you know Danny?" "Oh, you know." "We kept bumping into each other, then we became pals, and we've ended up doing a bit of business together when it suits us." " What kind of business?" " Property, a bit of art dealing." "Some buying and selling." "This and that." " Right." "I'll just be two ticks." " Okay." " Mr Goldman, good to see you." " Jolly good." "Madam." "All right." " All right, I've got this one." "And..." " Put me down!" "Go on, then." "Sorry about that." "How do you know those negro people?" " They're clients." " Clients?" "Schvartzers have to live somewhere." "It's not as if they can rent off their own kind, is it?" "Test results for the Virgil translation." "We'll start from the bottom." "Patricia." "Absent." "Margaret, 48%." "Jenny!" "Fifty-two percent." "That would just about scrape a pass in the exam proper." "Not good enough for Oxford candidates." " It's her Latin, isn't it?" " Everyone's doing their best, Jack." "But what if everyone's best isn't good enough?" "What do we do then?" "Hmm?" "Well, perhaps the whole thing's been a waste of money, anyway." " You don't mean that." " Well, what's she going to do with an English degree?" "If she's going to spend three years playing that bloody cello, talking in French to a bunch of beatniks, well, I'm just throwing good money after bad." "Well, she might meet a nice lawyer there, but she could do that at a dinner dance tomorrow!" "Oh, because that's the point of an Oxford education, isn't it, Dad?" "It's the expensive alternative to a dinner dance." "What about private tuition?" "Can anybody hear me?" "How much is this going to cost me?" "Five shillings an hour, maybe a little more for A-level." "Five bob?" "We spend five bob here, we spend five bob there." "Next thing you know, that's our savings down the drain." "And what else are we spending five bob on?" "What else are we spending sixpence on?" "Oh, nothing!" "No!" "Nothing." "All of this is free." "This vase is free." "It was, actually." "It was a present from Auntie Vi." "That chair, this sofa, it's all free." "We didn't have to pay for any of it." "You see, that's the beauty of life, Jenny." "You don't have to pay for anything." "You know, there's a lovely Oxford tree growing in the garden." "Lucky for you, because that's Oxford taken care of." "And there's a whole orchard of school trees, so that school is free, and I think there's even a private tuition tree in there." " I'll just go and check, shall I?" " Jack!" "Oh, it's all right, Marjorie." "Don't worry, I'll only be a second, because I think there's a whole clump of them surrounding the pocket money tree!" "I'll just go and make sure they're all nice and safe, shall I?" "Oh, and by the way, you might be lucky." "There might be a man with deep pockets growing out there, because God knows you're going to need one!" "Well, you can always go to secretarial college with Hattie." " Oh, thanks." "Charming!" " Oh, God." "No." " Hello!" "Hello, Graham." "I haven't seen you in ages." "It went a bit wrong, didn't it?" "The tea party, I mean." "Was it because of the year off thing?" "Because I..." "No!" "I just have so much work to do if I'm going to get the grades I need." "Yeah, she doesn't have time for boys." " Bye, Graham!" " Bye." "And I'll tell you what the first thing my grandfather did when he retired was to say to my grandmother when she expired." " You do all the Goons?" " No, my Eccles is no good." " Oh, no, you've got him." " No, no." "I can't do it..." " Hello." "Ah, Jenny." "David does the most fantastic Bluebottle." " You came to see my parents?" "Why is that so hard to imagine?" "Why are you drinking?" "It's not Christmas." "Well, there's a lot you don't know about us, young lady." "We had a life before you came along." "Mmm, that's true." "I'm only going on what I've seen for the last 16 years." "I'm trying to think what you missed." "Nothing much comes to mind." "Anyway, I've got a huge pile of Latin translation to do." "But you didn't tell us David went to Oxford." " No!" "I didn't." " For all the good it did me." " Isn't that funny?" " Extraordinary." "I was just telling Jack that I'm going back next weekend." "I go and visit my old English professor every now and again." "See, that's what you need, Jenny." "Someone on the inside track." "It's not always what you know, is it, David?" "Too true." "Have you ever come across Clive Lewis?" "Dad's never come across anyone." "He wrote a children's book called The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" " that did very well, I believe." " CS Lewis." "Well, to us he was just the old codger who taught Medieval Literature, but I came to know him very well." "We just got along." "Jenny used to devour those books." "I'd love to meet him." "I'm sorry, am I being slow on the uptake?" "Would Jenny like to come at the weekend?" "Oh, not this weekend, but sometime, perhaps." "Yes." "How often do you see him?" "Not very often." "Every couple of years." "Maybe next time." "Well, I suppose..." "Would she have to stay the night?" "I wouldn't recommend driving home after one of those Oxford dinners." "Clive could get her a room at the college." "It's easy enough." "Seems like too good an opportunity to pass up." "It wouldn't be a bother, would it, David?" "Come on!" "Just putting a few things in a bag!" "Don't worry!" "# Yeah, we both understand" "# Ooh, sweet nothin's # # Ooh, sweet nothin's #" "Come on!" "We're nearly ready!" "Be there in two ticks." "How can they only be nearly ready?" "I wouldn't be surprised if three of them came out of there." "It's the only explanation." "They're making themselves a friend." "Ladies, come on, let's go!" "There, have a look in the corner." "Open the door." "You should keep that one, if you want it." " One can only wear so many in one day." " Thank you." "What about tonight?" "Have you got a pretty enough nightie?" "Won't I be sharing a room with you?" "Oh, you haven't slept with him." " No." " Good for you." " Really?" "Do you think so?" " Yes!" "Well, you're only 16." " You don't want to get preggers, do you?" " No." "No, I wouldn't let that happen." "I want to wait until I'm 17." " On my 17th birthday, hopefully." " With David?" "Oh, golly, it will be with David, won't it?" "If that's what you want." "Anyway, I'll find you a nightie." "Ta-da!" "Mmm!" "Shall we make a move?" "# Got me wrapped around your little finger" "# If this is love" "# It's everything I hoped it would be #" "Can't we get out and have a look around?" "Later, if we have time." " Imagine spending three years here." " I know." "Why are university girls so strange-looking?" "They can't all have started off that way, can they?" "I mean, most girls aren't born ugly, but most girl students seem to be, so there must be something about these places that make you fat or spotty or short-sighted." "Well, when you look at it like that," "I mean, that's proper scientific analysis." "You can't argue with science." "I still don't quite understand what you want to do when you get here." "I want to read English." " Books." " Sorry?" "You want to read English books." ""Reading English" is just another way of saying..." "Don't worry, Jenny." "You're wasting your breath." "Anyway, tomorrow we'll get more of a feel for the place." "Absolutely." "This place will be good for a little business." "All those little old ladies wandering around." " Old ladies?" " This place is rife with stats." "Please explain what stats are." "You're always going on about them." "Oh..." " It isn't very interesting." " But you two are interested." "That's because we're not very interesting, either." " Oh, no, they're not, really." "It's true." "That's why we need you here." "To save us from ourselves." "Yeah, to put some intelligence and culture into our brutal lives." " Sing to us!" "Sing to us!" " Please don't make me sing for you." "Please don't make us talk about work." "So, now, is he Clive, do you think, or CS?" "I'm confused now." "I thought you made him up." "No, we..." "Never mind." ""To dear Jenny, with the pleasure of meeting you." ""Come and see me again soon, Clive. "" "Dirty old man." " No?" " Mmm-hmm." "We've got these exact same curtains at home." "Let's not talk about curtains." "You look beautiful." " David." " Mmm?" "There's something you should know." "I'm a virgin, and I want to stay that way until I'm 17." "I think that's good." "I think that's right." "We can still be romantic, though, can't we?" "Yes, of course." "As long as it's not actually..." "Minnie." "Is that me?" "Yes." "You're my Minnie Mouse and I'm your bubbalub." "Okay." "If that's what you want to do." " Minnie." " Yes, David?" "Bubbalub." "Bubbalub." "May I have a look?" "Just a peek." "You just want to see them?" "Thank you." "I think there's a house for sale around here." "Really?" "Might be worth a look." " Mmm-hmm." "Right." " Do you want..." " No." " Jenny!" " Aren't you coming?" " We don't go in." " What are you talking about?" "Why don't you go and get a nice cup of tea somewhere?" "Helen will look after you." "I don't need looking after, thank you very much." "David..." "I'm not going to tell you a second time." "Run along." " Well, they won't be long, either way." " Either way?" "Well, sometimes they find something and sometimes they don't." "And when they do find something, we often have to leave quite quickly." "They can be quite naughty sometimes." "Thank you!" "Bye!" "Cheerio!" "Catch!" "Careful." "Careful." "Come on." " Helen!" "Pass it back." "Good!" "Jenny!" " What?" "You can stand there if you like, but I wouldn't recommend it." "Coo-ee!" "Jenny!" "Sorry about being a little brisk back there, Jenny." "It's just the way we do things." "Silly, really." "Here, don't forget your case." "Who's coming up for a drink?" "Me!" "No." "You go." "I'll make my own way home." "Jenny." "Jenny!" "It's an old map." "A Speed." "The poor dear didn't even know what it was." "What a waste!" "It shouldn't spend its life on a wall in wherever the hell we were." "It should be with us." "We know how to look after it properly." " We liberated it." " "Liberated"?" " Yeah!" " That's one word for it." "Don't be bourgeois, Jenny." "You're better than that." "You drink everything I put in front of you down in one, then you slam your glass down on the bar and ask for more." "It's wonderful." "We're not clever like you, so we have to be clever in other ways, because if we weren't, there would be no fun." "We have to be clever with maps and..." "You want to know what stats are?" "Stats are old ladies who are scared of coloured people." "So we move the coloureds in and the old ladies move out, and I buy their flats cheap." "That's what I do." "So now you know." "And if you don't like it, I'll understand, and you can go back to Twickenham and listen to the Home Service" "and do your Latin homework, but these weekends, and the restaurants and the concerts, they don't grow on trees." "This is who we are, Jenny." "That's better." " Come on, you two!" " Come on up!" "You can have my olive!" "Come on." "I suppose you have homework to do?" "You have no idea how boring everything was before I met you." ""Action is character," our English teacher says." "I think it means that if we never did anything, we wouldn't be anybody." "And I never did anything before I met you." "And sometimes I think no one's ever done anything in this whole stupid country, apart from you." " Okay." " Right." "There you are." "Night." "Marjorie, look at this." ""Clive. " Oh!" "Lucky girl!" "Never a dull moment with David, eh?" "Better than that young man you brought home for tea." "David's a lot older than Graham." "Graham could live to be 200 years old, you'll never see him swanning around with famous authors." "Hasn't got it in him." "Graham might become a famous author, for all you know." "Becoming one isn't the same as knowing one." "That shows you're well connected." "Very impressive young man, your David." "I must admit, life's a little brighter with him around." "Come on, girls, get a move on!" " What the hell are those?" "Russian Sobranies." "Where did they come from?" "Well, she probably bought them from the Savoy, or Claridge's, or the opera or some fancy nightclub." "Who knows with Jenny?" "Paris." "You can't buy them here." " You never bought them yourself?" " No, I never." "Oh, shut up, you stuck-up cow." "But I'll bring you some back, if you like." " You are joking?" " Non." " He's taking you to Paris?" " Oui." " This term?" " Peut-être." "Wait." "Isn't it your birthday next Thursday?" "Might be." "Oh, my God." "Your birthday?" " I would not like to be you." " Ooh!" "All those suppers you've had off him?" "Ouch." "You've such a Victorian attitude to sex, you two." "Your parents wouldn't let you swan off like that, would they?" "Well, we haven't told them yet." "But David will come up with some story." "He usually does." "Yeah, I've noticed that." "Chanel perfume, Chanel perfume." "Chanel lipstick, Chanel lipstick." "Those funny cigarettes you were smoking?" "Sobranies." "Ten packets each." "Um, how much is the Chanel perfume?" "Are you the girl going to Paris, or are you not, because..." "Tina, top button." "Jenny, the headmistress wants a word with you." "The, um, legend of Mr Rochester may have travelled further than you intended." "Come." "Ah, Miss Mellor." "We're all very excited about your forthcoming trip to Paris." "Our excitement, indeed, knows no bounds." "Some of us can talk of little else." "An older man, I understand?" "A word of warning, Miss Mellor." "There may well have been the odd sixth-form girl who has lost an important part of herself, perhaps the best part, while under our supervision." "These things happen, regrettably." "If, however, we are made aware of that loss, then of course the young lady in question would have to continue her studies elsewhere." "If, that is, she still has any use for A-levels." "Do I make myself clear?" " Can I go now?" " If you would." "What are you doing in there?" "Well, I imagine she's lighting the candles on my cake." "You're 17, not 250." " Thanks for inviting me." " Oh, it was Marjorie's idea, not mine." " Not even Jenny's, for that matter." " Dad!" "Ta-da!" "Well, blow them out before the house burns down." " Make a..." "Okay, just..." "Don't wait." " Bravo." "Who'd like a piece?" " Me, please." " Well, come on, come on." "Presents." " Whoops!" " It doesn't matter, I'll..." "It's a new Latin dictionary." "Thank you." "I needed a new one." "Oh, dear!" "Got a..." "Snap!" "Oh, good grief!" "Jenny, you should see this!" "It's a special day." " She's a special girl!" "I know it." "Bit of help!" " Oh!" "Makes your dictionary look a bit feeble, eh, Graham?" " Gosh!" "And these are for you." " Hello, young man." " Oh, David!" "David, would you like a drink?" " I'd love one." "I'd best be going, 'cause I've got a stack of homework to do, so..." "Oh, well..." " Thank you." "Bye." " Cheers." " Bye, Mr Mellor." " Oh, cheerio, Graham." "Thank you." "Wonderful to see you, Graham." " Goodbye, Jenny." " Bye, Graham." " A little something warming?" " You know me so well." " Can I open anything yet?" " Wait for me." "Before you open that lot, I've got a surprise." "Next weekend, we're all going to Café de Flore to celebrate Jenny's birthday." "Oh!" "Lovely!" " Café de Flore is in the Boulevard St Germain, in Paris." " What do you mean, Paris?" " You know the one, Dad." "No, no." "No, no, no." "No, we don't have any French money." "And besides, it's too..." "Well, I don't think it would agree with me." " Dad!" " The French don't like us, Jenny, you know that." "John Sutton, from work, he went there last year." "They were very rude to him." "I don't want to spoil anyone's fun, but it's just not for me, Europe." " You'll have to go another time." " You've just said you don't like Europe." "So what's going to change?" "It'll have to be Europe, won't it," " because it certainly won't be you." " I'll take her." " To the continent?" " Why not?" " And leave me here on my own?" " Oh, for God's sake!" "What do you think?" "You know what Jenny's like about France, Jack." " French films and books and music." " Of course I do." "Sorry, yes." "It goes without saying." "She's your daughter." "Jenny likes to joke about how you're a stick-in-the-mud and all the rest of it, but I know that's not who you are." "Otherwise, she wouldn't be who she is." "No." "But I can also see that I have acted out of turn, and I'm sorry." "What about your Aunt Helen?" "An hour late." " We'll make it." "I promise." "Okay, there's a flight at 8:00 in the morning." "Good." "There's no bed." "I pushed the boat out and got us a suite." " A suite?" " Yeah." "Well, if work stops us from getting to Paris until tomorrow, then work can buy us a nice hotel room." "Anyway, it's a special occasion, isn't it?" "I'd have thought tonight, of all nights, we'd only need a bed." "Hold on, one second." "I've got something." "I thought..." "I thought we might practise with this." "With a banana?" "I thought we might get the messy bit over with first." "What?" "David!" "I don't want to lose my virginity to a piece of fruit!" "I'm sorry." "Hey." " Oh, I think the moment might have gone." " Hey, hey..." " I think we should wait until Paris." " I'm sorry." "Um..." "Minnie, I..." "I'm an idiot." "I'm sorry." "David, if tomorrow night does happen, it's only ever going to happen once." "Why will it only ever happen once?" "Because the first time can only ever happen once." "Oh." "So... no baby talk." "No Minnie." "Just treat me like a grown-up." "Okay?" "I know." "Let's go and sit in our sitting room." "All right." "We'll order up some champagne." "Room service?" "# Quand doucement tu te penches En murmurant, "C'est dimanche"" "# Si nous allions en banlieue faire un tour" "# Sous le ciel bleu des beaux jours?" "# Mille projets nous attirent" "# Mais dans un même sourire" "# Nous refaisons le trajet simple et doux" "# De nos premiers rendez-vous" "# Sur les quais du vieux Paris" "# Le long de la Seine, le bonheur sourit" "# Sur les quais du vieux Paris" "# L'amour se promène en cherchant un nid" "# Vieux bouquiniste Belle fleuriste" "# Comme on vous aime Vivant poème" "# Sur les quais du vieux Paris..." "# De I'amour bohème" "# C'est le paradis #" "Do you still feel like a schoolgirl?" "It wasn't too uncomfortable?" "Not after the first bit." "It's funny, though, isn't it?" "All that poetry and all those songs about something that lasts no time at all." "Yeah." "All your exercise books on my desk in a pile, please." "I bought this for you." "That's very kind of you." "But I can't accept it." "Why not?" "It's because of people like you that I plough through illiterate essays by Sandra Lovell about her pony." "But I know where this came from, Jenny, and if I took it, I feel I would be betraying both of us." "Jenny?" "You can do anything you want." "You know that." "You're clever, and you're pretty." "Is your boyfriend interested in clever, Jenny?" "I'm not quite sure what you're trying to tell me." "I'm telling you to go to Oxford, no matter what." "Because if you don't, you'll break my heart." " Where did you go?" " Cambridge." "Well, you're clever and you're pretty, so presumably clever Miss Stubbs won and here you are with your pony essays." "I don't know, these last few months, I've eaten in wonderful restaurants and been to jazz clubs and watched wonderful films, heard beautiful music." " Jenny, are you taking precautions?" " It's nothing to do with that." " Isn't it?" " Maybe all our lives are going to end up with pony essays, or housework." "And, yes, maybe we'll go to Oxford, but if we're all going to die the moment we graduate, isn't it what we do before that counts?" "I'm sorry you think I'm dead." "I don't think you're dead, I just don't..." "I think you'd better go to your next class." "Go, go, go, go!" "Well done, Jenny!" "I've never won anything before, not even at the Women's Institute raffle." "And I always bet on the sweetest looking one and he always comes last." " Let's go." "Come on." " Can we do it again?" "I'm feeling lucky." "Come on, let's go, I don't want to miss him." " Pick up your 10 bob on the way out." " I won 10 shillings!" " Who is this man, anyway?" " Peter Rachman." "Complete bastard." "Well, why do we have to see him here?" "Because he's not the sort of chap with an office." "All right." "Ladies." "A bottle of your finest champagne, please." "There he is." "Come on, Jenny, tell them your good news." "Don't be bashful." "No, be Sneezy!" "Jenny got two As and a B in her mock A-levels." "Like everyone else in this sophisticated establishment." "The B was in Latin." "Seriously, congratulations." "Excuse us." "Don't worry too much." "About what?" "Someone told me that in about 50 years, no one will speak Latin, probably." "Not even Latin people." "So don't worry about your B." "He's even more of a bastard than I thought." "You wouldn't want him to marry your sister." "You wouldn't want to talk to him in a club, come to that." "You do know what you're doing, old chap?" "With Jenny?" " This is the one, Danny." " Right." "That's it!" " You can see she's different." " I just don't want to see her hurt." "Have you bought any more paintings recently?" "Have I?" "Yes!" "Picked up a little Piper." "Good one, I think." "I'm still trying to work out what makes good things good." "It's hard, isn't it?" "Well, the thing is, Jenny, you know." "Without necessarily being able to explain why." "See, you have taste." "That's not half the battle." "That's the whole war." "Jenny, we should go." "It's late." " Really?" " Yes." "Alas." "One day school will be over forever and we can talk about art all night." " You're all right in a taxi, aren't you?" " Yeah." "Yeah, I'm fine." "Let's go." "Come on." "Good night." "Wait here." " David, what are you looking for?" " Um, just..." "What are you doing?" "Will you marry me?" "What were you looking for?" "I thought I had a ring." "It wouldn't have been the right one, but it would have done for tonight." "Oh, David." "I'm serious." "You're very sweet." "What do you think?" " Take me home." " All right." "They do need some looking after, but nothing that will require too much work." "Just leave them in your potting shed for a couple of weeks and they'll look after themselves." "Fine, the potting shed." "Who does he think I am," "Prince Rainier of Monaco?" "What if I got married instead of going to college?" " Married?" " Married." "Well, it would depend on who it was, of course." " Would it?" "That's interesting." " Well, of course it would." "I wouldn't want you married off just for the sake of it." " Thanks." "Has somebody asked you?" " Yes." " Who?" " David?" " No." "A man I just met walking his dog." " What did you tell him?" " Nothing yet." "Do you have a choice, or is it too late?" "Of course she's got a choice!" "An interesting one, too, eh?" "This is where you're supposed to say, "But what about Oxford?"" "Well, look at it another way." "You wouldn't really need to go now, would you?" "I wouldn't need to go?" "Would you like to expand on that?" " You'd be looked after." " All that Latin." "All those essays!" "What was the point?" "Why didn't you just send me prowling round nightclubs?" "It would have been less trouble and I might have had more fun!" "I don't know about nightclubs, I know about education." "Anyway, looks like it might have turned out" " for the best." " How?" "He wouldn't want you if you were thick, now, would he?" ""May not an ass know when the cart draws the horse?" ""Sings: 'Whoop, Jug!" "I love thee... "'" "When it says "sings", it means you sing the line." "Never mind." "Right." "Lear." ""Does any here know me?" "This is not Lear." ""Does Lear walk thus?" "Speak thus?" "Where are his eyes?"" ""Ha!" "Waking?" "Who is it that can tell me who I am?"" "Oh!" "Miss!" "Me." "I can." " Oh, Jenny." " What?" "Take it off." "Oh, my God!" "Is that what I think it is?" "I'm going to be a bridesmaid!" "You know the school rule on jewellery." "Half the girls in this room are wearing jewellery." "Yes, but none of it's going to ruin their lives." "We have a difference of opinion about that." "How far advanced are these ridiculous plans?" "Have you set a date?" "Have you decided on a church?" "We won't be getting married in a church." "David's Jewish." "Jewish?" "He's a Jew?" "You are aware, I take it, that the Jews killed our Lord?" "And you're aware, I suppose, that our Lord was Jewish?" "I suppose he told you that." "We're all very sorry about what happened during the war, but that's absolutely no excuse for that sort of malicious and untruthful propaganda." "Anyway, I can see you're far more in need of responsible advice than I realised." "Nobody does anything worth doing without a degree." "Nobody does anything worth doing with a degree." "No woman, anyway." "So what I do isn't worth doing?" "Or what Miss Stubbs does, or Mrs Wilson, or any of us here?" "Because none of us would be here without a degree." "You do realise that, don't you?" "And yes, of course," " studying is hard and boring..." " Boring!" " I'm sorry?" " Studying is hard and boring." "Teaching is hard and boring." "So what you're telling me is to be bored, and then bored and finally, bored again but this time for the rest of my life?" "This whole stupid country is bored." "There's no life in it, or colour or fun." "It's probably just as well the Russians are going to drop a nuclear bomb on us any day now." "So my choice is to do something hard and boring, or to marry my Jew and go to Paris and Rome and listen to jazz and read and eat good food in nice restaurants and have fun." "It's not enough to educate us any more, Mrs Walters." "You've got to tell us why you're doing it." "It doesn't have to be teaching, you know." "There's the Civil Service." "I don't wish to be impertinent, Mrs Walters, but it is an argument worth rehearsing." "You never know, someone else might want to know the point of it all one day." "Where did you find him?" "I can't tell you that." " Why?" " I think he likes you." "Do you like her?" ""Yes, I do like her. " You do?" "Oh, you don't..." "You don't remember?" "It's Jenny." "You remember her from last time." ""No, I don't. " Yes, you do!" "Naughty thing." "You..." "Pardon?" "That's revolting!" "You stick to your own species." "He wants to kiss you, I think." "Is that naughty?" " We're engaged." "Who is?" " No!" "Really?" " Yeah." " Engaged?" " Show her." " Yes!" "Look." " Gosh!" " That's fantastic news!" " Thank you." "Congratulations." "I knew you'd see sense about university." "You'll stay pretty now." "Can I still read?" "Of course." "But it doesn't have to be books now, does it?" "Magazines will do just as well, and you learn more from them, anyway." " Oh, Helen." " Well you won't be laughing, David, when she goes all speccy and spotty." "Danny didn't seem very pleased about our engagement." "I noticed that, too." "I thought he might be a bit jealous." "Jealous?" "We're going to keep him away from you." "I mean, what is one supposed to order as a starter, anyway?" "And how will I know what is a starter and what isn't?" "We've been through this, Dad." "It'll be quite clearly marked on the menu." "Can't the three of you just go on your own and leave me here?" "I'd be perfectly happy with a tin of salmon." "Hello." "Hello." "Oh!" "Ready?" "I think you'll like this place, Jack." "Their wine list is as good as anything I've seen in London." "Yes." "Someone told me that." "David, probably." "Who else would it have been?" "Madame." "I was hoping you'd take us in this." "You won't want to drive in anything else after tonight." " Mind you, it drinks petrol." " Yes." "I'm afraid we'll have to stop on the way into town." "I feel like Eamonn Andrews." "Is that a good thing?" "Eamonn Andrews is the poshest person that Jack can imagine being." " How are you tonight, sir?" " Very well." "Might as well fill her up." "I'm going to make a quick call." "I'll be two ticks." "Do you think I should offer to help pay for the petrol?" "Would he be insulted, do you think?" "I know he said tonight was his treat, but does that apply to the petrol, do you think?" "I'm sure it does, Jack." " Oh, no." " Jack!" "It just came off." " Put it on my bill." " Thank you, sir." "Cheers." "Jenny?" "Jenny." " Um..." " Take us home." "What's wrong?" " I'm afraid there's been..." " Jenny's had a bit of a shock." " What's happened?" "It's just, uh, another one of David's little muddles and misunderstandings." "I don't want to hear another word from anybody." "Take us home." " Now." " All right." "You can take care of this, can't you, David?" "Go inside, Dad." ""Mr and Mrs David Goldman. " "Mr and Mrs David Goldman. "" ""Mr and Mrs David... " You're married!" "Legally, yes, but I..." " When were you going to tell me?" " Soon." "It..." "It's just never seemed like the right time." "You seemed so happy and I was happy and..." "You were living with your wife all this time." "Round the corner!" "Byron Avenue!" "It's no wonder we kept bumping into each other, is it?" " What number?" "34." "Don't be like this." "Come on." "I have nothing." "I didn't take my exams." "I..." "I left school!" "Where's it all gone now?" "I can get a divorce." "Everything will turn out for the best." "Go and tell them." "Go and tell them, and then go and tell your wife." "They won't listen now." "All right?" "I'll come round tomorrow, when everyone's feeling a bit calmer." "Please don't make me..." "Please don't make me tell them on my own." "You owe me that much." "You owe them that much." "I owe them much more than that." "Hey." "Two minutes, and then I'll come out and drag you in." "What's going on?" "He's helping himself to some Dutch courage before facing you." "Stolen Dutch courage, from the look of it." "He has something he has to tell you." "He just drove off!" "Can you tell us?" "Jenny, please!" "I wouldn't worry about it too much." " When I found out..." " Not now, Helen." "I tried to tell him." "I'm not speaking to him now, if that's any consolation." "It's a funny world you people live in." "You both watched me carrying on with a married man and you didn't think it was worth saying anything about it." "Yes, well, if you want that conversation..." "You watched David and I help ourselves to a map and you didn't say much, either." "Come on, you, let's go." "Good boy." "Oh." "Hello." "Hello." "Sorry, I think I've got the wrong number." "I was looking for my..." "I wanted..." "For my cello lesson." "Oh, no." "Don't tell me." "Good God." "You're a child." "You didn't know about any of this, presumably?" "No." "They never do." "You're not in the family way, are you?" "Because that's happened before." "Thank God for that." "No." "No." "You stay here." " Did you see her?" " Yes, I saw her." "I didn't talk to her." "There wasn't any need." "We have to have this out." "Well, if you won't do it, I will." "I'm still your father." "Oh, you're my father again now, are you?" "And what were you when you encouraged me to throw my life away?" "Silly schoolgirls are always getting seduced by glamorous older men." "But what about you two?" "Jenny?" "Jenny." "Jenny, I'm sorry." "I know I've made a mess of everything." "All my life I've been scared and I didn't want you to be scared." "That's why I wanted you to go to Oxford." "And then along came David and he knew famous writers, he knew how to get to classical music concerts..." "But he wasn't who he said he was." "He wasn't who you said he was, either." "The other day, your mother and I were listening to a programme on the radio about CS Lewis, and they said that he'd moved to Cambridge in 1954." "I said, "Well they've got that wrong. "" "Our Jenny wouldn't have his name in her book if he'd moved to Cambridge." "There's a cup of tea and some biscuits out here." "How do you think we can help?" "I want to repeat my last year at school and take my exams." "I got the impression last time we spoke that you didn't see the point of school, or of me, or of any of us here." "I know." "I was stupid." "The life I want, there's no shortcut." "I know now that I need to go to university." "It gives me absolutely no pleasure whatsoever to see our young schoolgirls throwing their lives away." "Although, of course, you are not one of our schoolgirls any more." "Through your own volition." "I suppose you think I'm a ruined woman." "You're not a woman." "No, I'm afraid I think that the offer of a place at this school would be wasted on you." "Come in." "I didn't expect to see you again." "This is lovely." " All your books and pictures and..." " Hmm." "Paperbacks and postcards, Jenny." "That's all you need, isn't it?" "Just somewhere to..." "I'm sorry I said those silly things." "I didn't understand." "Let's forget about it." " A Burne-Jones." " Do you like him?" "I do." "Still." ""Still"?" "You sound very old and wise." "I feel old, but not very wise." "Miss Stubbs, I need your help." "I was so hoping that's what you were going to say." "Thank you, Marjorie." "It's from Oxford." ""It is my pleasure to inform you" ""that your application to read English at Oxford has been accepted." ""On behalf of the Faculty of Arts," ""the staff of the university look forward to welcoming you... "" "So I went to read English books, and did my best to avoid the speccy, spotty fate that Helen had predicted for me." "I probably looked as wide-eyed, fresh and artless as any other student." "But I wasn't." "One of the boys I went out with, and they really were boys, once asked me to go to Paris with him." "And I told him I'd love to, I was dying to see Paris, as if I'd never been."