"Bros!" "Cabeza Demente is the bomb!" "I've been drinking it all night!" "Yeah, man, I'm so wasted right now." "[ Both laugh ]" "[ Laughs crazily ]" "I'm gonna live forever!" "[ Glass shatters ]" "[ People gasping ]" "It's a one-story window." "He's fine." "I'm fine." "[ Indistinct shouting ]" "The party goers say he just jumped." "Alphonse:" "Then exploded." "Jessie:" "It makes sense." "According to this can, Cabeza Demente is 30% alcohol, 90% caffeine, and 12% match heads." "Alphonse:" "Whoa." "That's the alcohol equivalent to 27 long island ice teas." "Jessie:" "Or the caffeine equivalent of 96 double espresso half-cafs." "Piper:" "That's like drinking 46 single espressos." "Trent:" "Twice." "Jessie:" "Which made him literally combustible." "Trent:" "Well, looks like this guy went from being high to..." "To, um..." "All right, w-who took my sunglasses?" "Piper:" "I haven't seen them." "Trent:" "Really?" "No one saw them." "Jessie:" "I-I don't know." "Trent:" "Right." "So I just " " I lost them." "Piper:" "When did you have them on?" "Trent:" "Go [Bleep] yourself." "Alphonse:" "Hey!" "This is the 10th student death in the last week due to a Cabeza Demente-related explosion." "Ghosts grabber, what do your ghosts think?" "[ Indistinct whispering ]" "Oh, these ghosts don't know [bleep]" "Kove:" "Since the introduction of this drink into the USSD population, the GPA of the entire school has gone down by two points." "Alphonse:" "Which means now they're running at a negative GPA." "[ Chuckles ]" "Kove: [ Laughs ]" "Piper:" "Laugh it up, you guys." "I guess you all think that USSD students are a bunch of hard-partying dopes." "Well, guess what." "I went to USSD." "And if I hadn't been recruited by NTSF my freshman year, I probably would have graduated, so I guess I'm a little invested in this." "Kove:" "Somebody call the whaa-mbulance." "We got a first-degree cry baby over here." "But in all seriousness, we have a plan." "We're working with the food and drug administration on this one." "Alphonse:" "I hate those guys!" "Trent:" "The worst." "I feel the same way about you idiots." "Kove:" "Gentlemen, meet Frank Forrest." "He's from the FDA." "Trent:" "Don't you have some sort of fat-burning doughnut to approve?" "Hey..." "Don't knock it till you tried it, pretty boy." "I've dropped 14 pounds in 16 months." "Kove:" "Frank..." "What do you and the boys at the" "FDA know about Cabeza Demente?" "Three things." "Zero, zilch..." "And nada." "And zilch just left town." "Where did you get the Cabeza Demente?" "I wanna kiss you." "Piper:" "Absolutely not." "Let me kiss you." "Piper:" "No." "Give me a sweet kiss." "Piper:" "Sit back down." "See, the victims remain permanently drunk." "They're useless." "Trent:" "It's like they're permanently high." "Or drunk." "Trent:" "Or high." "They drink the Cabeza Demente, right?" "Trent:" "Yeah." "So what does that make them?" "Trent:" "High." "Piper:" "I told you, I am not going to kiss you." "I need an answer." "Ballz!" "Piper:" "You talk about your balls one more time, I'm gonna cut 'em off!" "No!" "No!" "Señor Ballz, okay?" "It's the best bar off-campus." "I guess you didn't go to USSD." "Piper:" "I actually never finished college." "Wow." "That's sad." "You know, it's never too late to get your degree." "[ Gags, belches ]" "Piper:" "Thank you." "You're absolutely right." "[ Chuckles ]" "I'm going back to college." "Here you go, buddy." "Another shipment of Cabeza." "Drop it!" "FDA!" "Trent:" "And more importantly, NTSF:" "SD:" "SUV:!" "[ Grunts ]" "[ Indistinct shouting ]" "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" "Trent:" "Tell me what you know!" "Foam pill." "Pretty sure it's cyanide." "Trent:" "You FDA guys are so naive." "You're too late!" "The bar's already stocked!" "It begins at homecoming fiesta." "One hour." "Water street." "Ocean." "Big guy, Mario." "[ Grunts ]" "I don't think he quite understood the purpose of a cyanide pill." "Trent:" "Foam pill." "It was cyanide." "Trent: [ Scoffs ]" "Guess we'll have to agree to disagree." " College..." " Hey..." "That's my bed, bitch." "[ Gunshot ]" "Piper:" "It's gonna be a hell of a semester." "They seem to be exploding faster the more they drink." "We have to find a cure, or USSD is going to be DOA, especially if they keep BYOCD'ing." "Alphonse:" "We just need to shut these jerks down." "Jessie:" "Don't call them jerks." "You can't put labels on people like that." "Wait a second." "Labels." "Labels!" "Cabeza has a..." "Both:" "Label!" "It was right here on the label the whole time!" "The manufacturer is a company called Food Done Awesomely." "Alphonse:" "I got to tell Trent." "[ Indistinct shouting ]" "[ Laughter ]" "[ Laughs ]" "[ Gunshots ]" "Piper:" "Not tonight, you guys." "Finals." "[ Rock music playing ]" "Whoo!" "Loos like we're too late." "Alphonse:" "Yeah." "The only rule at this party is leave your brain at the door." "Gentlemen, take a cold, hard look." "The future of San Diego just went down the el baño like a hot number two." "Trent:" "Who'd want to do this?" "Looks like we've got our work cut out for us." "Trent: [ Gulping ]" "Mmm!" "Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!" "[ Laughs ]" "I want to kiss you." "Can I kiss you?" "What's up with hair-do?" "Alphonse:" "Somebody must have put Cabeza in Trent's thermos." "He's been poisoned." "Trent:" "Yeah, you've been poisoned." "Alphonse:" "No, you've been poisoned." "[ Cellphone rings ]" "Come here." "Oh, come on." "[ Grunting ]" "[ Grunting ] Oh." "Give me a kiss." "Alphonse is Jessie." "Get to the docks." "Food done awesomely has another shipment of Cabezas coming in." "It's manifest says it's been shipped to a local high school." "If you don't destroy it," "San Diego's youth will become permanently high." "[ Beep ]" "Jessie:" "Hello?" "Hello?" "I did it." "A cure for Cabeza Demente sickness." "[ Gunshot ]" "Aah!" "Thanks, teach." "[ Tires screech ]" "I still can't believe that you let him drive." "Trent:" "I drive better when I'm drunk..." "'Cause I'm careful." "My God!" "This is the best burger I've ever eaten!" "Thank you guys so much for stopping." "You're my best friends." "Alphonse:" "All right, let's split up." "And keep your eyes peeled for any Cabeza shipments." "[ Cellphone rings ]" "Alphonse." "Alphonse, first of all, you didn't say goodbye to me last time we talked, and that was rude." "And secondly, I did some research on the initials of Food Done Awesomely." "Alphonse:" "And?" "Jessie:" "It's FDA." "Alphonse:" "FDA?" "[ Grunts ]" "Looks like you're not FDA-approved." "You?" "Wait a second." "Are you behind this?" "That's right, Trent." "Me." "Actually, the whole FDA." "We tried to stop you from finding out the truth, but once" "I realized that was a lost cause, we decided to poison you." "Trent:" "You're silly." "Why would you do this?" "I just told you, but if you need me to be more clear," "Cabeza Demente is a population-control plan ordered from the highest levels of government." "We've done it before, and we'll do it again." "Food and drug administration is just moderately paid food-and-drug assassins." "Trent:" "I knew it." "Actually, I didn't." "Time-out?" "Okay." "Mm." "Here." "Why don't you wash that burger down with a nice drink?" "[ Pop top opens ]" "This one's extra strength." "Trent:" "Oh, you get out of here." "Get out of here." "[ Grunts ]" "You little mother..." "Trent: [ Laughs ]" "Ooh-hoo!" "[ Banging ]" "I hear you!" "You drunken hippie!" "Trent: [ Laughs ]" "Can't hide from me." "[ Grunts ]" "Trent:" "Have a taste of your own medicine." " Drink, boy." " Never!" "[ Grunts ]" "[ Grunts ]" "Aah!" "Trent:" "Taste the flavor explosion." "Oh, I feel funny." "Why were we fighting?" "Trent: [ Belches ]" "[ Explosion ]" "[ Chuckling ]" "You're too late." "He's got the permanent drunk." "Just a matter of time before he explodes." "Piper:" "No." "I found a cure." "And I learned it at college." "This should be enough to cure the entire campus." "Oh, that's the only vial." "So..." "Trent:" "It looks like you have to make some more." "Kove:" "No." "Let these students learn a lesson." "Drinking kills." "Trent:" "What about Frank?" "CSI unit couldn't find a body." "Trent:" "What are you talking about?" "I saw him blow up." "Kove:" "You were so drunk, you don't know what you saw." "Frank Forrest is still on the loose." "As long as he's alive, the FDA remains a threat." "Alphonse:" "Well, what are we gonna do with all this leftover Cabeza?"