"Your tea, Miss Marple." "Thank you, dear." "A very pleasant young man." "Rudi?" "Hmm." "For a foreigner, I suppose." "Archie." "There's going to be a murder." "Bloody man Nehru is too clever by half." "That's his trouble." "Jolly good." "I said, there's going to be a murder." "What time?" "Seven o'clock this evening." "Short notice." "A murder?" "Hinch!" " Hinch!" "Hinch!" "What is it, Murgatroyd?" " Where are you?" " Hen house!" "Listen to this!" "In the Gazette." ""A murder is announced and will take place on Friday, October 5th," ""at Little Paddocks at 7:00 p.m."" "That's this evening." ""Friends, please accept this, the only intimation."" "Daft." "What do you think it means?" "It means a drink." "Bad sherry, probably." "People don't announce murders." "Marriages, yes, but not murders." "Put that dreadful paper down and have a look." "It isn't a dreadful paper." "You're not even a worker." " I'm writing a book." " I mean, real work." "Well, it's some sort of party, I expect." "Aren't there some rather boring, bright young things staying at Little Paddocks?" "They'll pin pieces of paper on you and then draw lots." "And somebody's the victim and somebody's the detective." "Then they turn out the lights and everybody screams." "Bourgeois escapism, Mother." "The opium of the people." ""Friends, accept this, the only intimation."" " Sounds very exciting." " It sounds extremely tedious." "Nonsense, Edmund." "I'm going and you're coming with me." "Opium?" "Surely there won't be opium." " Morning." " Morning, ma'am." " Oh, good morning." " Good morning." "MRS. HARMON:" "A murder!" "Isn't it scrumptious?" "REVEREND HARMON:" "What time did you say it was?" " 7:00?" " Yes." "At Little Paddocks." "I have a confirmation class." "Oh, what a shame!" "And you do so love a good murder." " May I see?" " Mmm, yes, it's there." "In amongst the second-hand pianos, and gold teeth and Cocker Spaniels." "It really is an extraordinary announcement!" "And so uncharacteristic of Miss Blacklock." "Patrick, is this your doing?" "No, indeed, Aunt Letty." "Whatever gives you that idea?" "I thought it might be your idea of a joke." "I can think of much better jokes than announcing murders in the local rag." "Julia?" "Of course not." "Do you think that Mrs. Haymes..." "I don't think our Phillipa would try to be funny." "She finds it difficult enough being serious." "Or anything." "It's obviously some sort of silly hoax." "MISS BUNNER:" "Buy why?" "It's very stupid." "And in very bad taste." "Bunny, there's nothing to get worked up about." "It's obviously somebody's idea of humor." "But it says today." "Today at seven o'clock." "What do you think is going to happen?" "PATRICK:" "Easy." "The Angel of Death will spread his wings on the blast." "I'll tell you exactly what's going to happen." "At seven o'clock this evening, half the village of Chipping Cleghorn will be banging on the door agog with curiosity." "Guess I'd better go and see if there's any sherry in the house." "Poor Lotty, she's so worried." "Two words, five letters and six letters." "Terminal stiffening of sinews." "Rigor mortis." "Of course." "Good old rigor mortis." "I wish you wouldn't talk about things like that." "Oh, Hannah, we shall need a bottle of sherry for this evening." "I'm expecting visitors." "I will not be here this evening, Miss Blacklock." " What do you mean?" " I am giving you my notices." "There is no need to give notice." "There is need, Miss Blacklock." "In the newspaper." "They are coming to kill me." "Nobody is coming to kill anybody." "It's just a joke." "Murdering people is a joke?" "In England, everything is a joke." "In Europe, killing people is not a joke." "That is why I escaped." "I promise you, my dear, you are perfectly safe." "You promise?" "If somebody was going to murder you, they'd hardly advertise the fact in the newspaper?" "Perhaps, in England they would, but perhaps it is you they mean to murder, Miss Blacklock." "You've had the central heating lit, Aunt Letty." "The whole house felt clammy." "Our precious, precious coke?" "Well, it was either that or our even more precious coal." "I can remember when there was plenty of coal, plenty of coke, plenty of everything." "Was this in the olden days?" "Oh, yes, my dear." "Hello." "Is there a party?" "Welcome to the scene of the crime." "Is it a joke?" "I'm very stupid when it comes to jokes." "Indeed." "There is to be a murder in this room in about quarter of an hour." "Here, you see the funeral wreaths, and here, the funeral supper." "I don't understand." "JULIA:" "Read this." " I was explaining." "It'll be quicker and quieter if she reads it for herself." "MISS BLACKLOCK:" "I must go and lock up the ducks." "PATRICK:" "Hmm, I'll do it." "Certainly not." "Last time you did it you didn't put the latch down properly." "I've read what it says, but I still don't understand." "Nor do we." "Great fun, isn't it?" "You don't really think anyone will come, do you?" "I shouldn't think so." "Village people are very inquisitive, you know." "Well, I know for a fact, there's a brand-new bottle of sherry on the premises, so that won't go to waste, whatever happens." "Shall I fetch it, to be on the safe side?" "I think Letty wanted you to move that table into the bay." "Work, work, work." "Will it never cease?" "Oh, thank you, Patrick." "And when you've done that, would you be very kind and fetch..." "And fetch the new bottle of sherry from the pantry?" "My pleasure." "Yes." "That's better." "JULIA:" "How is that better?" "Well, we are prepared for guests, but we don't look as if we are expecting guests." "And we all give a lovely performance of a quiet evening at home, and put on looks of total astonishment if anybody drops in." " Precisely." " I do hope nobody drops in." "Somebody at the door." "Mr. and Mrs. Borgia from along the road." "They've brought their own bottle." "Patrick, do you think you could make a huge effort and behave yourself?" "I'll make a huge effort, and we'll see what happens." "Here is Colonel Easterbrook and Mrs. Easterbrook to see you." "MISS BLACKLOCK:" "Thank you, Hannah." "What a lovely surprise!" " Well, good evening." " Evening." "Good evening." "Happened to be passing." "Quite a mild evening." " Central heating on?" " The whole house felt clammy." "Well..." "Lovely chrysanthemums." "A bit scraggy, in my opinion." "We haven't started ours yet." "Your chrysanthemums?" "Central heating." "Miss Murgatroyd and Miss Hinchcliffe." "MISS HINCHCLIFFE:" "Evening." "MISS BLACKLOCK:" "Oh, thank you, Hannah." "Evening." "Good evening, Miss Blacklock." "Good evening." "Such a lovely evening, we came out for a stroll." "I said to Murgatroyd," ""Why don't we pop in at Little Paddocks, and see how the ducks are laying?"" "It's lovely and warm in here." "Have you got the heating on already?" "Yes." "I'm told the house felt clammy." "MISS MURGATROYD:" "Hmm." "Well, this is jolly nice, isn't it?" "Bang on." "Bang on?" "Is that what they say nowadays?" "I'm afraid so, Colonel." "Mrs. Swettenham and Master Swettenham." " Here we are." " Indeed we are." "I just popped in to see whether you might be interested in a kitten." " A kitten." "Our cat is just about to, um..." "Be blessed with issue." "Father unknown, but probably various." "The result will certainly be a monster." "MRS. SWETTENHAM:" "Edmund." "Do sit down, Mrs. Swettenham." "EDMUND:" "It's jolly warm in here." "MISS BUNNER:" "We put the central heating on." "COLONEL EASTERBROOK:" "It seems the house was a bit clammy." "Bet you never had that trouble in India, Colonel." "The odd flood during the monsoon." "No clamminess to speak of." "HANNAH:" "Mrs. Harmon." " Hello, everyone." " Hello, Mrs. Harmon." " Hello, Miss Blacklock." " Hello, Mrs. Harmon." "I'm not too late, am I?" "When does the murder begin?" " No." "You're not too late." " Everybody's still intact." "Oh!" "Julian is simply frantic with rage he can't be here." " He adores murders." "He writes some of his best sermons when he's in the middle of a good thriller." "You know, with four or five decent corpses littered about the place." "Oh, sorry, I'm talking too much." "No, no, you're not." "When is the murder going to begin?" "Well, if it's going to begin, it ought to happen soon." "It's just one minute to 7:00." "Well, time to pour the sherry, I think." " Patrick?" " Yes." "Oh, Phillipa, be a dear." "What do you mean "if"?" "Oh, I've really no idea." "I know no more about it than you do." "Oh!" "Well, now." "Yes, perhaps a cigarette." " It's beginning." "MISS BUNNER:" "I don't like it." "MRS. EASTERBROOK:" "Archie, Archie, where are you?" "COLONEL EASTERBROOK:" "I'm here, dear." "MRS. EASTERBROOK:" "Where's here?" " Now!" " I'm so sorry, so sorry." " Oh, please put the..." "Stick 'em up!" "Stick 'em up, I tell you!" "MRS. HARMON:" "Isn't it wonderful?" "JULIA:" "I must say it's quite impressive so far." "Lights!" "Somebody switch the lights on." "PATRICK:" "Anybody got matches or a lighter?" " Yes, I have." " Archie!" "Take me home!" "Try the switches, Swettenham." "EDMUND:" "They're off at the mains." " (KNOCKING ON DOOR)" "Or a fuse." "Just get some candles, Patrick." " Excuse me." " On my way." " That's Hannah screaming." "Fellow seems to have knocked himself out." "Serves him right." " She's locked in." "I was cleaning the silver and a man locked me in." "And then I heard shooting." "...Now, stop it!" "Get the candles." "They're in the kitchen cupboard." " Miss Blacklock!" " Letty!" "You're bleeding!" " Something grazed my ear, that's all." " Oh, Letty, he must have hit you!" " It's nothing to make a fuss about." " There's blood all over you." "Ears bleed." "Everybody knows that." "Patrick!" "Where are those candles?" " We can't do anything without..." "Ah!" " Phillipa's mending the fuse." "Oh, thank goodness somebody's efficient in this house." "Better take a closer look at the fellow." "Good God!" " What is it?" " The man's dead." "It was just the one fuse gone." "Oh!" "Better see who it is." "Anyone know him?" " Never seen him in my life." " Nor me." " He looks so young." " Do you think he shot himself?" "Could have been an accident, if he tripped over that cloak thing." "I know him." "You do?" "Letty!" "It's that young man from the Spa Hotel at Medenham Wells." "The one who came asking you for money." "So it is." "He might have killed you." "He came here to kill you, Letty!" "He did, I know..." "Phillipa, take Bunny into the dining room and give her some brandy." "Julia, run upstairs to the bathroom and get some sticking plasters." "My blood seems to be upsetting everybody." "Patrick, ring for the police." "Rudi Scherz." "Swiss nationality." "Employed here as a receptionist." "Yes, this is he." "How long had he been working for you, Mr. Rowlandson?" "I took the liberty of checking in my files before you arrived." "A little over three months." "Good credentials, references, permits, et cetera." "Uh, would you like to have a look at these?" "I'll take your word." "Ah." "Was he satisfactory?" "Um, quite satisfactory, Inspector." "That sounds to me like a negative judgment." " It's purely conjectural." " What is?" "Well, there were a couple of misunderstandings about the bills." "Items charged that oughtn't to have been." "We assumed it was carelessness, inexperience." "But it wasn't?" "Well, you're now telling me that he was some sort of criminal." "So I suppose he could have been trying to cheat our customers." "But it's still different from an armed hold-up." "Any women in his life?" "One of our waitresses." "Name?" "Myrna Harris." "You were friendly with Rudi Scherz?" "I didn't know what he was like when..." "We don't know what he was like." "I want you to help me find out." "Well..." "You always think that anybody that works on reception is bound to be all right." "I mean, they're very careful when they employ people, especially foreigners." "Was he with a gang?" "We think he was working on his own." "He was a lovely dancer." "Nice to go out with." "Best seats at the pictures and bought you flowers." "And I'm sorry he's dead." "Um..." "Oh..." "Thanks." "Stuff's been going missing, you know." "What sort of stuff?" "From rooms." "A diamond broach I think, and, um, a little gold locket." "Might not have been him." "Might have been me." "But it wasn't." "You liked him." "Yeah." "He talked big, mind you." "But I got used to that during the war." "The Poles were bad enough." "The Americans were even worse." "How did he compare to the Poles and the Americans?" "He talked as big." "Said he came from a rich family in Switzerland." "Only he couldn't get his money here on account of the currency regulations." "That's what he said." "He didn't wear rich clothes." "Very ordinary." "Not real class, you know?" "I know." "And he'd saved all kinds of people from certain death in the Alps." "I didn't believe that either." "Did he ever mention Miss Blacklock?" "No, I don't think so." "She sometimes comes here for lunch, so he might have met her but..." "Did he ever mention the village of Chipping Cleghorn?" "I think he asked me about the buses once." "What time they went." "But I'm not sure if it was Chipping Cleghorn." "Might have been some other Chipping." "There's a lot around here." "I wouldn't have gone out with him if I'd known he was a crook." "But I'm still sorry he's dead." "Ooh, good morning, Inspector Craddock." " You've checked the house, Fletcher?" " Sir." "No fingerprints." "No signs of forced entry." "But the doors seem to be left unlocked most of the time anyway." "Scherz seems to have come from Medenham on the bus." "It arrives in Chipping Cleghorn at 6:30." "Why did the lights go out?" "Well, the drawing room and the hall seem to be on the same circuit." "If you can organize for them to fuse at exactly seven o'clock." ""You're a better man that I am, Gunga Din."" "As you might say, sir." "Tell me about the people who live here." "Miss Blacklock?" "I think she's all right, sir." "Miss Bunner, is it?" "Nice woman, sir, but with respect, a bit scatty." "Patrick Simmons?" "Fancies himself as a joker." "Julia Simmons?" "Just fancies herself." "Phillipa Haymes?" "I haven't met her yet, sir." "Out at work all day." "Good." "Pretty garden." "This is the room in which the incident occurred?" "Yes." "But we've tidied up, of course." "Such a mess." "Tables knocked over, people barging about in the dark, and a nasty cigarette burn." "But that seems to happen all the time these days." "Bunny, Bunny, I think we should just answer Inspector Craddock's questions." "Thank you, Miss Blacklock." "Tell me when you first saw Rudi Scherz." " Is that his name?" " Yes." "Oh, it was about three weeks ago." "We went shopping for the day in Medenham Spa." "We had lunch at the hotel." "He came over to our table and said that he was the son of the proprietor of the Hotel des Alpes in Montreux, where my sister and I stayed during the war." " Did you remember him?" " Oh, no." "I mean all these boys at reception desks look exactly the same." "And then he came to see you?" "Yes. 10 days ago." "Well, he..." "He had some absurd story about his mother being dangerously ill and needing the money to get back to Switzerland." "You didn't give him any money?" " Certainly not." " Very wise." "I was secretary to a financier for many years." "I know all about hard-luck stories and appeals for money." "When he came here, did you sense that he might have been spying out the land, so to speak?" "You mean, casing the joint?" "Yes, that's what I mean, Miss Bunner." "Yes, it is quite possible." "I remember he took a keen interest in the house." "Oh, but all that elaborate nonsense." "The advertisement in the newspaper." "I just really don't understand any of it." "Do you keep much money in the house?" "No, a few pounds, no more." "Jewelry?" "Couple of rings and broaches." "These cameos." "There's really nothing worth stealing." "It was revenge, Inspector." "Letty refused to give him the money and he came here to kill her." "That's where he shot at you, Miss Blacklock?" "Oh, just a scratch." "Made a lot of blood, but it..." "Tell me what happened." " Well, the clock struck." " Seven o'clock." " Yes." " And then the lights went out." " And next?" " The door opened." " Which door?" " That door." " What about that door?" " Oh, no, no, that one's never used." "That's just a hangover from when this was two rooms." "So, this door opened, and..." "Well..." "Well, there he was." "A man with a revolver." "A masked man with a revolver." "And I thought..." "Well, I mean, we all thought, that it was just some silly joke." "And then he said something." ""Hands up or I shoot!"" "Well, something like that." " Did you put your hands up?" " Oh, yes." "It seemed like part of the game." "He shone his flashlight in my eyes." "It dazzled me." "I began to get annoyed about it." " And then?" " Ah..." "Well, then, there was the first shot." "Somebody screamed, I think." "And then I..." "Yes, I felt the pain in my ear." "You see?" "It wasn't just a scratch." "Where were you standing, Miss Blacklock?" "Over here, by the table." "I was reaching for the cigarette box." "And look!" "There are the bullet holes!" "He was trying to kill you." "You tell her, Inspector, she won't believe me." "And having failed to shoot you in the darkness, he then turns the gun on himself?" "Obviously." "Do you think it's obvious, Miss Blacklock?" "No, of course I don't, Inspector." "I think it's absolutely ludicrous." "He wasn't the sort of man to shoot himself" " or anyone else for that matter." "Oh, Bunny, will you please take those away?" "I hate dead flowers." "I picked them fresh yesterday." "Even flowers don't last the way they used to." " Is Miss Bunner a relation of yours?" " No." "An old friend." "We were at school together, about a hundred years ago." "A companion." "We keep each other company, Inspector." "And the other people who live here.?" "Patrick and Julia." "They call me Aunt Letty, but they're actually distant cousins." "Oh." "Sorry." "Aunt Dora's wandering around saying the police want to cross-examine everyone, is that so?" "This is Julia." "Since you're kind enough to volunteer, Miss Simmons." "Inspector Craddock, and this is Sergeant Fletcher." "We've met." "Have you finished with me for now, Inspector?" "I think so, Miss Blacklock." "Oh, will you be speaking to Hannah?" " Hannah is?" " My cook." "She screams a lot." "The poor girl is a refugee." "Nationality?" "I asked her that." "She said, "I do not know," ""I have not read the papers today."" "Please don't be prejudiced against her, Inspector, just because she tells lies." "There are a lot of atrocity stories around now, but I think there is a real core of truth in some of hers." "I can't help feeling sorry for her." "And she is a very good cook." "When she feels like it." "I shall bear all that in mind, Miss Blacklock." "Thank you." "Would you like to tell me about last night?" "I told your Sergeant Fletcher." " He wrote it all down." " I'd like you to tell me." "Well, a lot of tiresome people called round." " Who?" " In order of arrival?" "Colonel and Mrs. Easterbrook," "Miss Hinchcliffe and Miss Murgatroyd," "Mrs. Swettenham and Edmund Swettenham, and Mrs. Harmon, the vicar's wife." "They all said the same things." ""What lovely chrysanthemums and I see you've got your central heating on."" "Except Mrs. Harmon." "She said what everyone else was thinking." ""What time's the murder?"" "You like Mrs. Harmon?" "She's the best of the bunch." "And then?" "The lights went out and this man walked in and said," ""Stick 'em up, you guys," or something equally ridiculous." "Then the shooting started." "It wasn't ridiculous anymore." "Was the only light from the man's torch?" "Yes." "And from what you could see, when he fired the shots, was he aiming at Miss Blacklock?" "From what I could see, I shouldn't think so." "A revolver in one hand, a torch in the other, having to keep that silly door open, everybody all over the place he'd do well to hit anyone." "If he really wanted to take a pot shot at Aunt Letty," "I can think of a thousand better ways of doing it." "Stand behind a hedge, anywhere round the village, and do it." "Bang." "Like that." "Understood." "But to fill the room with all the friends and neighbors, put that silly advertisement in the newspaper, it's more like a student rag." "You're a student, I believe, Miss Simmons." "I'm training as a dispenser at Milchester General Hospital." "But if I'd planned last night as a joke," "I wouldn't have filled the room with colonels and vicar's wives." "And if you were planning a murder?" "I'm a dispenser." "I'd mix a lethal potion." "Quick and clean and quiet." "Oh." "Should I make a note of that?" "Better not, in case anyone else pops off in suspicious circumstances." " Is your brother at home?" " No." "He went out somewhere." "He's a student too, did you know?" "Really?" "Milchester University, reading engineering." "Occasionally." "He's a bit of a waster." "But I like him, considering he's my brother." "And I believe he was quite heroic during the war." "I might have a word with Hannah in that case." "Crazy foreign cook?" "An obvious suspect, Inspector." "All my life I am pursued by men in uniform." "I escape to England thinking I will be safe." "Still I am pursued by men in uniform." " We're not here to arrest you." " You're not?" "I just want to know your version of what happened last night." "Last night?" "I see the announcement in the paper and I know I am going to be murdered." "I try to leave, but she will not let me." "She is a very strong woman." "Miss Blacklock?" "Yes." "The others are silly, but she is strong." "You stayed and then what?" "The doorbell rings, I answer the door." "The doorbell rings again, I answer the door again." "After the people had arrived." "Oh." "I go to the dining room to clean the silver." "I hear shots." "I scream." "I try the door." "It is locked." "I scream again." "Somebody turns the key and lets me out." "I scream again." "Somebody hits me." "I see blood." "You scream again?" "I think so." "Are you going to arrest me?" "Not today." "Gosh!" "Am I too late for the sleuths?" "Mr. Patrick Simmons?" "Am I under suspicion?" "Well, there is a feeling that placing the advertisement in the newspaper was your style of joke." "It is the sort of thing I go in for." "Habitually?" "Occasionally." "At some point we'd like your version of what happened last night." "It'll be as confused and contradictory as everybody else's." "In that case, perhaps you'll let us know where we'll find Mrs. Haymes?" "Our Phillipa?" "She works at Dayas Hall." "Assistant gardener." "I know it, sir." "Along the road to the left." "Phillipa doesn't say much." "She's nice in an anonymous sort of way." "Not the murdering kind." "But then, nobody is." "Somebody must be." "Unless the fellow shot himself." "Peculiar way to commit suicide." "Equally peculiar way to commit murder." "So, what is your conclusion?" "It's easier being an engineering student than an ace detective." "You arrived home at what time last night?" "About 6:00." "I had a bath, got changed, then found some sort of party was about to happen." "And when you arrived home, which door did you use?" "The side door." "I'm generally a bit mucky, so I never use the front door." "Was the door unlocked?" "Yes, I locked it when I came in." "I see." "Tell me about the, uh, hold-up." "The lights went out exactly as the clock was striking 7:00." "The door opened and this man shone a torch on us and flourished a revolver and told us to put our hands up." "Which you did?" "No, I didn't actually." "I thought it was just fun." "And I'd been working all day, so I thought," ""Bother it, I'm not putting my hands up."" "You were bored by the whole thing?" "Yes, I was rather." "Where were you standing?" "By the mantelpiece." "I was looking for my lighter." "When the man shone the torch around the room, did you get the sense that he was looking for somebody?" "No." "He wasn't looking for anybody?" "Thinking about it since it happened, he did it in a vague sort of way, just waved the torch about aimlessly, as if he hadn't the faintest idea what he was there for." "When you saw the body, did you know the man?" "No." "But then, I can't really afford to eat at the Royal Spa Hotel." "That being so, presumably you don't keep any valuable jewelry at the house?" "I wish I could." "There's my engagement ring and a couple of broaches." "Are you aware of anything valuable in the house?" "Not what you'd call loot." "Some quite nice silver, but nothing out of the ordinary." "Miss Blacklock likes to wear her strings of pearls." "But they're just costume." "I'm sorry to be so unhelpful." "Patrick says I'm too sensible for my own good." "It's not a bad thing, being sensible, Mrs. Haymes." "And he stood there." "A shadowy figure with a revolver." "And that blinding torchlight sweeping around the room." "And he said," ""Your money or your life."" "He didn't say anything of the sort, Mother." "I've never enjoyed myself so much for years." "Until the bullets started." "Then it was quite dreadful." "Do you know where you were standing, when this happened?" "I've no idea." "Where was I standing, Edmund?" "I don't know." "Do you remember who you were speaking to?" "Either Mrs. Harmon or Colonel Easterbrook, I think." "Edmund?" "I haven't the faintest idea." "Do you remember who you were speaking to?" "I was in the middle of the room, talking to Julia Simmons." "When the man shone the torch, did he hold it still or move it around?" "It was right in my eyes for ages." "I couldn't see a thing." "He moved it around slowly, so as to see what we were all doing." "Three shots were fired." "Two of them hit the wall, one of them injuring Miss Blacklock en route." "The third killed the intruder." "Do you think it was suicide or an accident?" "It certainly seemed to me like one of those." "Though I did say to Edmund, it felt more like murder." "Except that doesn't really make sense, does it?" "You've just told the Inspector, that it was all three." " Don't be silly." " Murder, suicide and an accident." "I'm simply trying to be helpful." "And I appreciate it, Mrs. Swettenham." "Psychology, there's your answer." "Psychology?" "You've got to understand the criminal mind." "What leads him to put the advertisement in the paper?" "Psychology." "He wants to draw attention to himself." "Probably had a rough time at the Spa Hotel." "Other members of the staff looking down on him because he's a foreigner." "Yes, it can easily happen." "Chances are some pretty girl turned him down." "He wants to win her affection." "How will he do it?" "He'll be the tough guy, the gangster, the masked man with a gun, the hero." "Sort of a Robin Hood, with an audience to play to." "Robbery with violence." "Steal from the rich." " And it all goes wrong?" " Absolutely." "Took the words right out of my mouth." "The crucial moment comes, loses his nerve, panics, shoots blindly in all directions." "You thought he shot blindly?" "Oh, no doubt about it." "A room full of people, he manages to miss the lot." "Suddenly, it becomes real to him." "The dream becomes a nightmare." "Can't face the truth about himself." "Decides to put an end to it all." "Psychology." "Isn't it wonderful, Inspector, the way Archie knows exactly what happened?" "Yes, Mrs. Easterbrook." "Wonderful." "Do you like pigs, Inspector?" "I love 'em." "Make a nice rasher by Christmas, this one." "Yes, I'm sure." "Well..." "What can I tell you?" "Anything you remember about the incident last night." "Incident?" "We used to have incidents when I was in the ARP during the war." "Saw some incidents then would make your hair curl." "Enjoyed every minute of it." "You mean, where was I when the shooting started?" "Yes." "Leaning up against the mantelpiece hoping to God somebody would offer me a drink." "Tell me about the shots." "Were they fired blindly or aimed at one particular person?" "No idea." "The torch was whirling around dazzling everybody, and the shots were fired," "and all I could think was it was that damn fool Patrick up to his silly games." "You thought it was Patrick Simmons?" "Mmm." "Process of elimination really." "Edmund Swettenham's some sort of intellectual communist who writes books." "A bit soft, if anything." "Old Colonel Easterbrook isn't much of a one for jokes." "But Patrick's wild enough for anything, though not robbery with violence." "What about your friend, Miss Murgatroyd?" "Did she see anything?" "Murgatroyd!" "Here." "She's up a tree." "Police!" "She won't be much help." "Listen to her by all means, but don't take too much notice." "Is it Scotland Yard?" "Inspector Craddock from Milchester." "Oh, even better." "Have you found any decent clues?" "All he wants to know is where you were when the crime took place." "Oh, dear, of course." "I..." "I ought to have been prepared." "Alibis." "Uh..." "Now let me see." "I was with everybody else." "You weren't with me." "I remember that girl screaming and a voice saying," ""Put them up, please."" ""Stick 'em up!" And he certainly didn't say please." "Dear, I'm sorry I can't be more helpful." "I get so confused." "It's all such a blur." "Is there anything else you want to know?" "No, I don't think so." "The Inspector's already made up his mind about you, Murgatroyd." "No question of it." "Well, I'll say anything that'll help, if it's likely to help." "I think you'll find the vicar's wife more value than the two of us put together, Inspector." "We're more used to pigs." "You've both been extremely helpful and I'm very grateful." "Thank you." "Oh, Hinch, was I very awful?" "I get so flustered." "As usual, you were quite astonishing." "Thank you." "Well, you see, I hate being dazzled." "So, when he shone the torch, I shut my eyes." "And I..." "I hate loud noises, so when he fired the shots, I shut my eyes even tighter." "I wish it had been a quiet murder." "When did you open your eyes?" "When I was quite sure that the bangs had stopped." "Some people were out in the hall with candles." "Then the lights came on and everybody was normal again." "People in the dark are quite different, aren't they?" "What did you see when the lights came on?" "The young man..." "Scherz?" "Is that the name?" "Yes." "He was lying there, dead, with a revolver beside him." "He looked so young and surprised." "It doesn't make sense." "All this in Chipping Cleghorn." "I agree." "Except I have to make it make sense." "They all tell different versions of the same story." "And even if they told the same version, it still adds up to nonsense." "An important question, Fletcher." "Sir?" " How good is your typing?" " Rough, but accurate." "Good." "The chief constable likes accuracy." "I'll try not to disappoint him." " Now sit down, Craddock." " Thank you, sir." "Anything new since you wrote this report?" "Information from the Swiss police." "Scherz had a criminal record." "Ah!" "Petty thieving, falsified entries, checks..." " A dishonest man." " But in a small way." "Don't small things lead to larger things?" "I'm not sure, sir." "Well, it seems very clear to me." "Scherz traveled by bus to Chipping Cleghorn." "Evidence of a conductor and two passengers." "He got into the house, probably simply by opening the front door." "He held up the company, assembled by placing an announcement in the local newspaper, which we know he did." "Evidence of the cashier in the Gazette office." "He then fired three shots." "Two go into the wall, and one goes into him." "Well, in my practical world that means that a coroner's jury is going to bring in a verdict of suicide or accidental death." "Either way, we can draw a line across the ledger and turn to the next page." "I have the feeling that that silence indicates that you disagree." "I disagree, sir." "Why?" "I don't know exactly." "Offer me a theory." "Miss Bunner insists that Scherz intended to murder Miss Blacklock." "Is Miss Bunner a reliable witness?" "Utterly unreliable." "She's a very sweet, slightly scatty old lady, but she's totally sincere and it's all her own idea." "Nobody's put it there." "And she insists." "A personal question, Craddock." "How do you get on with scatty old ladies?" "I have nothing against them in principle, sir." "Good." "Because there's one staying at the Royal Spa Hotel." "It's a Miss Marple." "Miss Jane Marple." "Well, she's an old friend of Sir Henry Clithering." "His opinion is that you should take Miss Marple into your confidence." "Show her your report if you like." "She's entirely trustworthy." "Well, thank you for letting me see this, Inspector." "Any observations, Miss Marple?" "Yes, but may I digress a little first?" "By all means." "I should like to show you something." "I am staying here for a few days, taking the spa waters." "Rheumatism, you know." "Oh, well, of course, you don't know." "But when you're my age, I'm afraid, perhaps you might." "Of course, I couldn't afford to stay here, but I have a very generous nephew called Raymond." "Now then, here we are." " A check?" " Yes, he altered it." "He?" "The young man who worked at the desk and who is now, I understand, dead." "You see, it was for seven pounds and he altered it to seventeen." "A stroke in front of the seven and a "teen" added to the word "seven."" "Yes, very neatly done." "A certain amount of experience and practice, I should say." "As you say, very neatly done." "Well, the bank sent me my checks this morning and I noticed it at once." "What made you notice?" "Well, I..." "I never write a check for £17." " But you do for seven?" " Oh, yes." "Quite often." "Of course, what struck me was that the young man had a shifty eye." "A shifty eye?" "Yes, the kind that looks straight at you and never blinks." "It reminded me of Fred Tyler." "Should I know Fred Tyler?" "Oh, no." "No, no." "He worked at the fish shop in my village." "Always adding an extra one to the shillings column." "You know, people very rarely check their bills." "Fred Tyler would look people in the eye and smile and then steal enough money to take Jessie Spragge to the pictures and buy very loud ties." "Well, as you suggested, you were quite right in your diagnosis." "Rudi Scherz had a..." " More coffee?" " No, thank you." " Miss Marple?" " No, thank you, dear." "I shall last until teatime now." "Thank you." "Have you talked to her, Inspector?" "I'm sure you have." "Yes, I did." "Well, talk to her again, because I think there's more to come." "She, uh..." "She brought me kippers this morning instead of herrings, and forgot the milk jug." "You see, he may have told her who it was." "I'm sorry, who what was?" "Well, who it was put him up to it." "You think somebody put him up to it?" "Well, I..." "Yes, I think that's obvious, don't you?" "Well, to be truthful, it's not all that obvious to me, Miss Marple." "Oh, I am so sorry." "Yes, well, do forgive me, but you see, here is a personable young man." "He filches a little here and there." "A petty thief likes to show off to the girls." "Then suddenly he goes off with a revolver and holds up a whole room of people." "Well, he'd never have done a thing like that." "But we have witnesses to say that he did precisely that." "Oh, no." "You have witnesses to say that he flung open the door and shone a torch." "And pointed a gun at them." "But it was dark." "How could they possibly have seen the gun?" "You mean?" "I mean, they thought they saw a gun." "They heard shots." "They heard him say, "Stick 'em up," or words to that effect." "And then afterwards, they saw the gun lying on the floor." "But they couldn't possibly have seen the gun when he first came in to the room." "Which means somebody else fired the shots." "Well, that's logical." "The same person who persuaded Rudi Scherz to put the advertisement in the paper and to, uh..." "Burst open the door, shine a torch and say those ridiculous words." "You're telling me to look for a Mr. X?" "A Mr., Mrs. or Miss X, I should say." "You know, Inspector, some of the best murderers are women, especially, in an English village." "You turn over a stone, you have no idea what will crawl out." "But somebody who wanted to kill Miss Blacklock." "Well, it has that appearance." "Well, I must say, you've turned my entire investigation inside out." "Oh, I am so sorry." "I didn't mean to interfere, Inspector." "May I..." "May I..." " May I cause you yet more trouble?" " If you like." "May I change my mind, and have some cheese and biscuits?" "And talk to that girl again, Inspector." " She's very frightened." " Frightened?" "Someone shot Rudi Scherz." "Somewhere in Chipping Cleghorn, a killer is at large." "You didn't tell me everything, did you, Myrna?" "About Rudi Scherz." "Yeah, I told you everything." "I told you nearly everything." "Tell me the rest." "My mum said that I'd be an, an accessory before the fact." "Do you know what that means?" "It sounded horrible." "I'm sure your mother's wrong." "What happened?" "Well, the night Rudi died" "we were supposed to be going to the pictures and then he said he wouldn't be able to come." "And I got cross 'cause I'd just had my hair done." "And I told him I didn't fancy being stood up by a foreigner and he got mad at that and showed me that advertisement in the paper." "The one that said, "A murder is announced"?" "He said it was a silly English joke." "He was always going on about silly English Jokes." "What exactly did he say he was going to do?" "He told me he was going stage a sham hold-up." "Pretend he was a gangster and scare all the people." "Why was he doing this?" "'Cause somebody was paying him." "He said he'd be well into pocket and he was going to buy me a watch." "Somebody paid him to put the advertisement in the local paper, and do the hold-up?" " Yeah." " Who?" "He never said." "You're sure about that?" "Sure." "Honest, I mean I'd tell you if I knew." "Now that I know it don't make me an accessory." "Did you know he had a gun?" "I wouldn't go out with a bloke if I thought he had a gun." "And anyway, I don't believe he ever had a gun." "He told me it was just a silly English joke and that he was gonna enjoy laughing at their silly English faces." "It stands to reason, he wouldn't have done it if he'd thought he was going to get shot himself, would he?" "It will be very funny, he said." "Some joke." "Oh!" "Oh!" "Inspector Craddock." "Have you had any success with Myrna?" "You were quite right, Miss Marple." "She hadn't told me the full story." "No, no, I though not, no." "As you suggested, somebody paid Rudi Scherz to place the advertisement and stage the hold-up." "And had no indications to who it was?" "None at all." "Inspector, I shall be staying in Chipping Cleghorn for the next few days." "I don't suppose there's anything I can do but I shall in fact be at the vicarage." "In case you should want me." "The vicarage?" "Mrs. Harmon, the vicar's wife, is a distant niece." "So I took the liberty of inviting myself." "So, I may perhaps see you again in Chipping Cleghorn." "I daresay." "Guess what?" "Um..." "They want me to be Archbishop of Canterbury?" "Very close." "Aunt Jane's coming to stay." " Oh, even better." " I knew you'd be pleased." "Aunt Jane is coming to stay?" "I seem to remember telling you so a minute ago." "A man dies in highly suspicious circumstances, here in Chipping Cleghorn and suddenly Aunt Jane is coming to stay?" "Yes, I noticed that too." "Hmm." "FLETCHER:" "So, whoever paid Rudi Scherz to play these silly games, is it the same person who tried to shoot Miss Blacklock?" "It's possible." "He or she could have crept up behind Scherz in the dark fired the shots, then dropped the gun." "He or she?" "We have to keep an open mind." "You mean that refugee woman who works up at the house?" "She's a bit hysterical." "No, I don't mean the maid." "I mean we have to keep an open mind." "It seems obvious that Scherz wasn't the murdering kind." "And there's no evidence the gun belonged to him." "It was a German automatic." "Yeah and since the war, the whole country's awash with German guns." "Anybody who was in the services might have brought it home as a souvenir." "Laura, my dear!" "I can't find my pistol." "Well, you don't need it today, do you?" "That isn't the point." "You mean you really can't find it." "I thought that's what I said." "Oh, my goodness!" "It should be in here." "When did you see it last?" "God knows." "Months ago." "Well I remember clearly, I saw it on Saturday." "On Saturday?" "Are you sure?" "Absolutely certain." "You were grumbling about your collars and the laundry." "Come, come, my dear," "I never grumble." "You were grumbling and I looked in this drawer and the gun was there." "It was the day after that business at Little Paddocks." "And I remember thinking, well at least it wasn't your gun he used." "Unless he took it, and did the job, replaced it." "And then stole it again?" "Rather tricky, as the young man's dead." "Well spotted, my dear." "Still we needn't bother the police about it." "It's just an old war souvenir." "No bullets." "No license, come to that." "Mum's the word." "You're my old war souvenir." "I got a couple of letters I must write." "To begin with, the story Rudi Scherz told you when he visited the house was a pack of lies." "He wasn't the son of the proprietor of the Hotel des Alpes in Montreux." "Which explains why I didn't recognize him." "Well who was he?" "He'd had various jobs." "A hospital orderly in Berne, a waiter, a shop assistant." "Wherever he went, things tended to disappear." "A picker up of unconsidered trifles?" "Exactly." "The Swiss police were becoming a little tired of him, so he armed himself with forged papers and came to England." "Another displaced person with a good cover story." "Yes, but why pick on me?" "Yes, why should he want to murder Letty?" "He didn't want to murder you, Miss Blacklock." "It looked as if he did." "He burst in here with a gun and I..." " I'm sure." " He was paid to do that." " Paid?" " Yes." "Somebody else wanted to have me murdered?" "Is that what you're suggesting?" "That is what the evidence suggests." "Nobody could possibly want to murder Letty." "It's ludicrous." "Please understand, Inspector, I have no hidden Rembrandts, no enemies that I am aware of and no guilty secrets about myself or anyone else for that matter." "I would like to speak to your maid, is she at home?" "Hannah's in the kitchen." "Because she's a foreigner, she's an automatic suspect, is that it?" "No, that is not it." "She works hard and her papers and her permit are in perfect order." "The same applied to Rudi Scherz." "The late Rudi Scherz." "Oh!" "I'm beginning to lose patience with Inspector Craddock." "He'd only trying to protect you, Letty." "Protect me?" "I'm perfectly capable of protecting myself." " But don't you see?" " See what?" "If somebody paid that young man to kill you, and it didn't work, then whoever it is, well, he's likely to try again." "Yes, I'm sorry." "I'm being a bit slow in the uptake, aren't I?" "It's natural." "You've had a difficult time." "Apart from that," "I think you should tell Mr. Craddock everything." "What does it matter what I say?" "I am just a refugee." "If I say the wrong thing, you can always send me home." "Unless you send me to prison." "Besides, you shouldn't be talking to me." "You should be talking to that nice English lady." " Which nice English lady?" " Mrs. Haymes." "Why should I be speaking to Mrs. Haymes?" "The young man, he comes to the house and asks Miss Blacklock for money." "You know about that?" "Miss Blacklock told me." "I watch him go." "He stops and talks to Mrs. Haymes in the summerhouse." "And what do you suppose they were talking about?" "I don't know." "How to steal Miss Blacklock's money, I expect." "Miss Blacklock isn't a rich woman." "She's richer than me." "She's richer, too, than Mrs. Haymes." "Mrs. Haymes is a fine lady who loses her husband and no longer has any money." "She sends her son to school and has to work as a gardener." "That is not a proper job for a fine English lady." "Will you excuse me please?" "I need the kitchen to myself." "I have to make a very careful sauce." "Wrong door, Inspector." "That one doesn't open." "It's from when there were two rooms." "We used to have the hall table against it." "When was the table moved?" "A couple of weeks ago." "Something to do with flowers." "Phillipa, Mrs. Haymes did a big vase." "All twigs and branches and people getting their hair tangled up." "So we moved the table." " Is it nailed up?" " No, just locked." "Do you have the key?" "Yes, in here I think." "Oh, yes, here." "There, careful!" "There might be something resting against the inside!" "This door's been opened quite recently, Miss Bunner." "The hinges and the lock have both be oiled." "Good gracious." " Which means..." " You'd like to wash your hands?" "MISS BLACKLOCK:" "Which means?" "When Scherz came in this door and did his party piece anybody could have slipped out through the other door, stood behind him and fired the shots at you, Miss Blacklock." "Are you suggesting, that one of my neighbors, one of my nice commonplace neighbors, slipped through that door and tried to murder me?" "Who is your main suspect, Inspector?" "The vicar's wife?" "We have to be very direct about this, Miss Blacklock." "If you die, who benefits?" "Patrick and Julia." "Oh and, uh," "Bunny here gets a small legacy and all the furniture in the house." "I didn't know that." "Thank you, Letty." "Oh, it's hardly the sort of thing one talks about as a rule." "But I still think you should tell the Inspector." "Yes, Bunny, I know what you think, and I am going to tell him!" "Now, I think we should both like a cup of tea if you'd be so kind." "I'm sorry." "I'll see to it." "What is Miss Bunner anxious for you to tell me?" "I not worth murdering now, Inspector." "But in a few weeks' time I might be." "Why?" "Because I shall be a very rich woman." "Please sit down." "Does the name Randall Goedler mean anything to you?" "Oh, no, perhaps you're a little too young." "He was a financier, died just before the war?" "Yes, 1938." "Well, until his death, I was his personal secretary." "Well, more a junior partner really." "When he died, he left all his money in trust for his wife, Belle." "But if she dies before me, I inherit..." "A great deal of money." "Randall Goedler was a millionaire, so, yes, a great deal of money." "You said you might very soon be a rich woman." "Is Mrs. Goedler likely to die?" "Yes." "That may sound callous Inspector, but you asked the question and that's a truthful answer." "Belle Goedler is a very sweet creature and an invalid." "We exchange cards and letters at Christmas time and her nurse keeps me informed of her medical condition." "I gather it may now be only a matter of weeks." " Where does Mrs. Goedler live?" " In Scotland." "Perhaps you'll let me have the address before I leave." "Yes." "Going back three spaces," "Patrick and Julia are the beneficiaries in the event of your death." " Yes." " But if you die before Mrs. Goedler?" "What happens then?" "Belle and Randall had no children." "So when he made his will, he nominated the offspring of his sister, Sonia." "And who are they?" "Please don't laugh, Inspector, but I only know them as Pip and Emma." "FLETCHER:" "Pip and Emma?" "CRADDOCK:" "Yes." " Who and where are they?" " Nobody knows." "Goedler's sister, Sonia married some smooth-talking, Greek called Stamfordis." "More or less a crook." "And they lost contact with the Goedlers, except it's known that they had two children, born in the early 1920's." " So they'd now be..." " 25, 26." "The same age as Patrick and Julia?" " Yes." " Is that possible?" "Miss Blacklock's never seen them." "Mrs. Goedler's never seen them." "So yes, it's possible." "As I say, you have a lot of checking to do." " Where are we going?" " Back to H.Q." "No, we're not." "I want to speak to Mrs. Haymes." "See what she was doing in the summerhouse." "I'm happy to verify a statement if it means I can stand up straight." "The dead man, Rudi Scherz, you told me he was a stranger to you." "Yes." "Did you at any time have a conversation with him in the summerhouse at Little Paddocks?" "In the summerhouse?" "It's absurd." "Who told you that?" "A statement was made to me that you were seen speaking to him." "I expect it was Hannah." "She tells lies." "I've never met Rudi Scherz in my life." "And I couldn't have seen him." "I'm here every day." "Thank you, Mrs. Haymes." "Good morning, Colonel!" "Good morning, Inspector." "You're up bright and early." "Habit of a lifetime." "Up with the lark." "Check the defensive perimeter." "I'm told you have a German pistol." "Yes." "Unofficially, of course." "Souvenir of victory and all that." "May I see it?" "Officially?" "Well, the fact of the matter is, Inspector, the damn thing's disappeared." "I see." "When?" "All I can tell you is that my wife saw it in my drawer last Saturday." "CRADDOCK:" "You mean, it disappeared after the killing?" "Well, according to my good lady, yes." "I see." "Well, I'll leave you to check your defensive perimeters." "MISS MARPLE:" "You know, the English village has changed since before the war." "That's really because the whole world has changed." "A village like Chipping Cleghorn, for example, it may look the same, simple and peaceful and eternal, but it isn't." "You see, in the old days, everyone knew each other." "And if someone new came to the village, then they brought letters of introduction." "They'd either been in the same regiment, or the same ship, or the same colony as someone already living in the village, you see." "And that no longer applies?" "Oh, gone forever, I suspect." "Well, the big houses are sold, the cottages converted, and people simply come in from anywhere." "From India, Hong Kong, or Italy, and made a little money and are able to retire." "No letters of introduction, no roots." "You have to believe their stories and take them at their face value." "Plus their ration books and identity cards." "Oh!" "Can you really believe in a ration book and identity card?" "Horrible things." "Inhuman." "So, Pip and Emma could be Patrick and Julia?" "Oh, quite easily, I imagine, but I think they sound rather fun, and not at all the homicidal type." "But I'll try and find out." "You will be careful, won't you?" "Oh, of course." "A policeman asking questions is open to the gravest suspicion." "But an old lady asking questions is just an old lady asking questions." "PATRICK:" "Who's the old biddy?" "JULIA:" "Mrs. Harmon's aunt." "I could go to my room and pretend to work." "Well, Mrs. Harmon's quite fun." "Pick of the village idiots, really." "Shall I be charming and terribly amusing?" "No." "Not a good idea." "It must have seemed quite dreadful to you, like Chicago come to Chipping Cleghorn." "I was scared stiff." "Well, it was rather an alarming experience." "But it must have seemed quite providential when the young man tripped himself up and shot himself." "Of course, burglary is so violent nowadays." "There used to be a certain grace and decorum about it, but..." "I blame the war, Miss Marple, don't you?" " And the Viennese waltz." " Absolutely." "Yes." "And was that the door that he came in at?" " Yes." " The very one." "And I'm told there were bullet holes." "Right over here, Miss Marple." "Oh, I've never seen a real bullet hole." "May I?" "MISS BLACKLOCK:" "Yes, of course, please." "MISS BUNNER:" "It's a miracle Lotty wasn't killed." "Good gracious!" "But you were jolly severely wounded, weren't you?" "Are you fully recovered now, Miss Blacklock?" "Yes, of course." "It was only a scratch." "I only wear this plaster to get sympathy from my nearest and dearest." "It doesn't work unfortunately." "So you were over here when it happened?" "I'd just gone for the cigarette box, and then the lights went out." "Oh!" "What a delightful lamp!" " Dresden." "It's one of a pair." " Really?" "The other's in the spare room." "Really?" "I'd forgotten about that." "I like nice things." "Don't you?" "Oh, yes, indeed." "Oh, yes, very much." "I'm afraid I can't work up any enthusiasm for possessions." "Do you like nice things?" "I prefer naughty things." "Julia!" "I have very few possessions, all of them precious." "And each one, a cherished memory." "And as for photographs, people don't seem to keep photographs nowadays, do they?" "I do." "Have hundreds." "All my nieces and nephews when they were babies and children, and grown up and parents." "You've got a horrible one of me with a squint and a fox terrier." "And despite all your aunt says," "I'm sure she's got hundreds of photographs of you all tucked away." "We're only distant cousins." "To tell you the truth, Miss Marple," "I didn't remember these two existed until earlier this year." "I had a letter from their mother saying they were going to be studying in this area." "And when did you last see my mama?" "Oh, about 30 years ago." "I remember she was very pretty." "And luckily we've both inherited her good looks." "Not only that." "You're quite right, Miss Marple." "Aunt Letty has a marvelous old photograph album." "We looked through it the other day." "But I'm not obsessive about the past." "Well, I, of course, have more past than future." "Oh, don't be silly, Aunt Jane!" "My dear, you've married a vicar." "You must know we're allocated three score years and 10." "And I shall soon be overdrawn." " You did it on purpose, didn't you?" " What, my dear?" "Talked about photographs." "Well, I now know that Miss Blacklock had never seen" "Patrick and Julia in the flesh until they turned up on her doorstep." " And rang the bell?" " Exactly." "Tomorrow, I shall explore your village." "It's quite small." "It won't take long." "Oh, there are more things in Chipping Cleghorn, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." "I daresay." "Horatio?" "I thought he had a bridge." " Morning, Phillipa." " Hello." "What are you doing?" "Can't you see?" "Well, I'm no gardener." "And you seem to be poking around aimlessly in the soil." "I'm pricking out winter lettuce." "And, um, exquisitely, too." "Please go away, Edmund." "You've no business to be here." "Wrong!" "I have business." "Mrs. Lucas rang my mama this morning, very anxious to trade one of her surplus vegetable marrows for, um, a pot of honey." "Yes, we're swamped with vegetable marrows." "So, I have my alibi." "Using the word loosely and incorrectly." " There's no question of dalliance." " Good." ""Faultily faultless, icily regular, splendidly null."" " I beg your pardon?" " It's Tennyson writing about Maud." "But it's really about you, Phillipa." "Splendidly null." " It isn't much of a compliment." " Well, it isn't meant to be." "It's meant to stir you into speaking." "What are you like?" "What do you feel?" " That's my business." " It's mine, too." "Oh, can't you see I'm smitten?" "I didn't want to fall in love with you." "I just wanted to worry about the working classes, and write my book about the world's misery." "And then you came along, and you won't even talk to me." " I'm talking to you now." " Not really talking." "Tell me about anything." "Tell me about your husband if you like." "We met, we got married." "Harry was born." "Ronald was killed in Italy." "Harry's a nice kid, I like him." "I think he likes me, too." "Oh, let's get married, Phillipa." "You can go on gardening, and I can go on writing my tripey book." "And we can sponge off Mother." "My eyesight is defective, but I'm very sincere." "No." "I don't think so." "Very well, in that case, you'd better lead me to that vegetable marrow." "Ah, Sergeant Fletcher!" "Are you keeping an eye on us?" "Inspector Craddock's orders, Miss Blacklock." "Ah, well, we're just going down to the village." "It's Hannah's day out so there's nobody in." " I see." " So, if you could..." " Keep an eye on the house?" " Yes, please." "The sergeant could make himself a cup of tea." "Oh, yes, of course, Sergeant, please do." "The door's open." "We never lock doors." "Come along, Bunny." "We'll be late." "Oh, you startled me, Sergeant!" "I thought you were another burglar." "No, Mrs. Swettenham." "It's only me." "You came through the back door?" "Yes, it's always open." "I just brought up some of my quinces." "Perhaps you'd tell Miss Blacklock when she comes back?" "I'll leave them here." "It seems anybody can walk into this house just as they like." "Of course." "How else could we leave quinces on the kitchen table?" "Murgatroyd?" "Yes, Hinch?" "I've been doing a bit of thinking." "What about?" "Well, that pantomime the other night." "It's all too fishy." "Now, take this revolver." " Well, that's a trowel." " I know it's a trowel!" "We don't stock revolvers, do we?" " I suppose not." " And this torch." "Now, go outside, come back in, wave the torch around and the revolver like he did, and say, "Stick 'em up."" "Why?" "Because what happened the other night was fishy, and I want to find out what made it fishy." "I'll try." "Stick 'em up!" "The door won't stay open!" "Exactly." "That's the fishy bit." "The door at Little Paddocks is just the same." "Letty Blacklock brought that huge glass doorstop from Elliot's, remember?" "Well, perhaps the burglar used the doorstop to keep it open." "That's a non-starter, Murgatroyd." "You fling the door open, you shout, "Reach for the sky,"" "and then you say, "Excuse me a moment while I adjust the doorstop"?" "It's all so awkward." "Give me that revolver." "You'd have shot yourself by now." "Well, he did shoot himself, didn't he?" "Somebody must have held the door open for him." "I'm not at all sure he did shoot himself." "You mean, somebody else shot him?" "That's the only alternative to shooting oneself, in my experience." "You've had experience?" "Of crimes of violence?" "Lots!" "Two-gun Hinchcliffe, the terror of Kidderminster." "I don't believe you." "Neither do I." "But if it wasn't one of us who killed that boy, it was somebody very like us." "Miss Marple!" " Oh!" " Do sit here." "Oh, how kind." "Thank you so much." " I'm on my own." " Oh, dear." "Oh, such a sharp wind." "My rheumatics, you know." "I had sciatica last year." "I was in agony." "Oh, dear, yes." "Oh, now then, coffee and cakes?" " Yes, please." " For two." "Thank you." "You know, I don't think the cakes here look so delicious as the ones I had in your house." " Hannah made those." " Hannah?" "Our cook." "She's very good." "Some sort of a foreigner." "Swiss, I think." "It's a pity she screams so much." "Oh, well, it's a sign of life." "And what about the other person who I didn't see?" " The young woman who lives with you?" " Phillipa?" "We call her our lodger." "I suppose she is in a way." " Who?" "Phillipa?" " Haymes." "Haymes." "Oh, yes, really." "Yes, I knew a Colonel Haymes in the Indian cavalry." " Her father, perhaps?" " She's Mrs. Haymes." "A widow." "Her husband was killed in Sicily or Italy." "Oh, how sad." "Oh, here we are." "Now then, would you like me to pour out?" "Yes, please." "Coffee." "They're terribly pink, aren't they?" "Well, probably an artificial substitute for flavor." "Thank you." "And, uh, has she many admirers?" "That waitress?" "I doubt it." "Much too surly." "Oh, oh, yes." "No." "Mrs. Haymes." "Oh." "Well," "Young Edmund Swettenham moons around her a bit." "He's a very odd young man." "Writes books, and I..." "I have heard that he's a..." "A communist." "Oh, really?" "Yes, well, he must be rather lonely in Chipping Cleghorn." "I'm told they can grow out of it." "Do you believe that?" "Oh, yes, yes." "I should think that's quite likely, yes." "Good." "And, uh, have you known Miss Blacklock long?" "We were at school together." "Then, we lost touch for years." "She was secretary to this millionaire, Goedler, and..." "Tell me I didn't do wrong, Miss Marple." "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about, Miss Bunner." "I was living on my own, just with my pension." "Well, in a bedsitter, and I..." "I saw Letty's name in the local newspaper." "She was at a charity luncheon in aid of the Milchester Hospital." "And I wrote to her." "Not a begging letter." "It wasn't that." "Oh, no, no, of course not." "No, you wrote a friendly letter to an old school chum and you met." "She was lonely and you were lonely." "And she asked you to move in with her, that's all." "You do understand." "I understand everything about lonely old ladies." "I can tell." "You're very comfortable to talk to, Miss Marple." "You see, I get so angry when I see people taking advantage of Letty." "And I do hope that I'm not like that." "She's left me all the household goods and an annuity, but that's her decision." "I..." "I haven't taken advantage of her." "Truly." "Oh, no, no." "I'm quite sure you haven't." "No." "And do other people take advantage?" "Young" "Patrick." "He's had money from her, twice, at least, to my certain knowledge." "And all Letty will say is, "The boy's young." ""Youth must have its fling."" "Yes, that's true, you know." "And, of course, he is handsome, and, er..." "A trifle insolent, I agree, but on the other hand..." "I saw him with an oilcan in the garden." "Really?" "And the other door to the drawing room has been oiled." "And I heard him having an argument with Julia the other day." "But that's human nature, isn't it, arguments between brothers and sisters?" "Shepherds and shepherdesses." "I beg your pardon?" "The lamp on the table." "I noticed that it was the shepherdess and not the shepherd." "Coffee and gossip, Bunny?" "Good morning, Miss Marple." "Good morning." "Oh, won't you join us?" "Thank you very much, but we are rather late." "Have you done your shopping, Bunny?" "I must call at the chemist." "I..." "I need some aspirin and corn-plasters." "Please can I pay?" "Oh, no, you certainly won't." " Thank you." " Come along, Bunny." "That's it." " Goodbye, Miss Marple." " Goodbye." " Excuse me." " Come along, Bunny." "Goodbye, Miss Bunner." "Goodbye." "She's terribly sweet, Miss Marple." "Such a good listener." "I don't suppose you gave her much choice, Bunny dear." " Oh, no, not that one." " Oh, no?" "No, no, I tried one of those." "They taste of salmon." "Oh." "I think I'lljust have the coffee." "Very wise." "So, what were you talking about?" "Family loyalty." "Oh, I hope it wasn't as tedious as it sounds." "Oh, no." "On the contrary, very revealing." "You see, nearly everyone assumes that people murder out of hatred, but, of course, it may be out of loyalty." "Or even love." "Love?" "Now, tell me again who was in the room that night." "Miss Blacklock, Rudi Scherz." "And devoted Dora, and handsome Patrick." "Mrs. Swettenham of the honeypots, and her serious son Edmund, yes." "Um, the pukka sahib Colonel Easterbrook, and the fluffy Mrs. Easterbrook." "Oh, not forgetting the cool and distant Phillipa Haymes." "And?" " Oh, am I forgetting somebody?" " Yes." " Julia!" " That's right." "Julia, yes." "Julia." "PrettyJulia is peculiar." "Three and six, and I'm not a peculiar, Mrs. Harmon." "I've always been a good C of E." "Oh, I'm so sorry, I was just quoting an old song." "I didn't know your name was Julia." "No offense, I'm sure." "There." "Thank you very much." "Thank you very much, Mrs. Marple." "Well, yes..." "Now, do we believe in Pip and Emma?" "Miss Blacklock says they exist, so we have to." "Even though she's never seen them, and doesn't know what they look like?" "But they are the only people to benefit from Miss Blacklock's death." "Well, not necessarily." "Either of them might have married." "Their mother and father might be alive." "You see, they'd all be interested parties." "So, the police should be looking for a murderer who..." "Who is either male or female, in the middle 20s or someone nearly as old as I am." "You also said somebody who would murder out of love." "Ah, yes, but a very special kind of love." "A deep and abiding passion for large sums of money." " Except..." " What?" "That waitress thought you were talking about her." "Oh, it's just a simple mistake." "Yes." "MCCLELLAND:" "Mrs. Goedler's very much looking forward to your visit, Inspector." "Is she really?" "That makes a change." "Well, she has very few visitors for obvious reasons." "There's, uh, one question I have to ask." "I can guess what it is." " Well?" " She's a dying woman." "She's surviving on drugs, and on her willpower, but it can't last for more than a few weeks." "And our dear Miss Blacklock was not hurt by the attempt on her life?" "A grazed ear." "Oh, poor Blackie." "You know about her family background?" "No." "Is it important to your investigation?" "I have no idea." "Well, let me ramble on, and stop me if it becomes boring." " Agreed?" " Agreed." "Two sisters." "The father, an old country doctor and a tyrant." "Letty rebelled, ran away to London, made herself into a chartered accountant." "The other sister, Charlotte, was an invalid." "Now, when the old man died," "Blackie left the firm to go and look after her sister." "Randall was furious with her, shouted at her, but she was determined." "And she took her sister to Switzerland." "Tell me about your husband's sister." "Sonia?" "She was wild." "I was fond of her." "But we've lost touch." "She married this chap, Stamfordis, a genuine crook, I've no doubt." "You'd have enjoyed locking him up." "Randall disapproved of the marriage, but Sonia took no notice." "We got a letter about 18 months after the wedding to say she'd had twins just after midday, so she intended to call them Pip and Emma." "We forgot about them." "A terrible thing to say about one's relatives." "But Mr. Goedler left his estate to the children, in the event of Miss Blacklock predeceasing you?" "The lawyers pestered him." "He told them that Blackie was strong as a horse and I was delicate, but they insisted." "Lawyers do." "They're so serious about life and death, things like that." "But you have no idea where they may be?" "Your sister-in-law, her husband or their children." "They may be dead." "They may be anywhere." "They may be in Chipping Cleghorn." "Indeed, they may." "Don't let them hurt Blackie." "She's too good to lose." "Er, sardine sandwiches and tomato, and some of those little scones you do so nicely." "And I want you to make your special cake." "My cake?" "Is it a party, you want such things?" "It's Miss Bunner's birthday and some people are coming to tea." "Birthdays!" "Parties!" "At her age, it's better to forget." "She doesn't want to forget." "She wants a cake." "I want her to have a cake." "I have nothing to make such a cake." "I need butter, sugar, chocolate, raisins." "Butter, sugar, chocolate, raisins." "Oh!" "Where do you get such things?" "None of your business, Hannah." "Very well." "I shall make such a cake." "With icing." "And on the top and I will write, "Good wishes."" "Thank you, Hannah." "I will show your English friends what such a cake should taste like." "English cakes taste like sand." "My cake will taste like heaven." "I'm sure it will." "And you must tell Mr. Patrick not to call it names." "I'm sure he wouldn't dream of calling it names." "My last cake, he calls it delicious death." "But that's a compliment." "Death is a compliment?" "♫ Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you" "♫ Happy birthday, dear Bunny ♫ Happy birthday, dear Dora" "♫ Happy birthday to you ♫" "Delicious death!" "Oh, Hannah doesn't like you talking about her cake like that." "She disapproves of everything I do." " Well, it looks a lovely cake." " Yes." "Foreigners, they make damn good cakes." "Mind you, it's plain boiled pudding that stumps them." "Got a new gardener, Miss Blacklock?" "Saw a chap snooping around the henhouse." "No, that's our own special detective." "Detective?" "Why?" "To protect Letty." "But isn't that all over now?" "They adjourned the inquest." "Police not satisfied." "It's obvious." "They never are." "As I see it, we're all under suspicion." "MRS. SWETTENHAM:" "Suspicion of what?" "Here and now, I'd say loitering with intent." "Oh, that sounds quite amusing." "What sort of intent?" "Intent to commit murder upon the first opportunity." "Oh, please don't, Mr. Swettenham!" "It's so awful." " Now, Bunny." " I'm sure nobody would want to murder poor Letty." " Don't distress yourself." " Come on, Bunny." "It's usually me who spoils the party with a bad joke." "Good day, Mrs. Swettenham, Mr. Swettenham." "Mrs. Easterbrook, Colonel." "Afternoon." "Good day, Miss Murgatroyd, Miss Hinchcliffe." "Sergeant Fletcher, we thought you might like a piece of Hannah's cake." "Oh, thank you, that's very kind." "All the suspects have gone home now." "Are you under orders to stay?" "Oh, another 10 minutes, then I hand over to the local bobby." "We do sleep sounder for the police presence." "Good." " Did you enjoy your party?" " Oh, I did." "But I've got a dreadful headache." "Too much excitement." "Too much cake." "And those lovely chocolates, where did you find them?" "Oh, it's easy, if you don't mind breaking the law." "Oh, I..." "I think I'll take a couple of aspirin and lie down for a while." "Shall I shut up the ducks, Aunt Letty?" "Well, if you can do it properly." "There's absolutely no guarantee, but I promise to try my hardest." "All you have to do is make sure that the latch is down firmly." "I knew there was a secret." "Oh, don't worry, Aunt Letty." "I'll make sure it's all right." "I seem to have mislaid the aspirin I bought in the village." "This house is chock-full of aspirin." "They fall out of every cupboard." "There's a bottle on my dressing table." "Take mine, Bunny dear, they're by my bed." "Thank you, Letty." "Ducks." "All you have to do" " is see that the latch Is see the latch" " is down firmly, Julia." " Is down firmly, Patrick." "Imagine you were Pip and Emma." "What would you do?" " I come to England penniless." " Yes." "Then, assuming I'm of criminal mentality," "I seek out any rich relations I might have." "I know my uncle, Randall Goedler, left a vast fortune, so I inquire about his widow, discover she's still alive, and that the only obstacle between me and the money is Miss Letitia Blacklock of Chipping Cleghorn." " Therefore..." " Murder Miss Blacklock." "Have we checked about Patrick and Julia?" "Yes." "They are precisely what they claim to be." "Patrick has rather a good war record." " Fletcher's been busy, too." " So I see." " Wee dram?" " Oh, please." "I waited hopefully for somebody to offer, but Scotland appears to be totally dry." "Helps the concentration." "Bunny?" "Phillipa!" "Phillipa!" "Yes." "Yes, I see." "Don't go." "There's been another one." "Yes." "Dora Bunner." "But that's most unfair." "The village policeman's on duty." "He called the doctor." "There's to be an autopsy, but..." "Well, it looks like narcotic poisoning." "But she's a complete innocent." "Is it the fate of the innocent to suffer?" "Very often, it is, yes." "In spite of her innocence?" "Or because of her innocence?" "Oh, may I go into the house, Sergeant?" "Of course." "You're beyond suspicion, Miss Marple." "Oh, nobody is beyond suspicion." "Morning." "Oh, forgive my disturbing you, Miss Blacklock, but the vicar had a dying parishioner and Mrs. Harmon has had to rush a child to hospital, so they asked me to deliver that to you." "Thank you, Miss Marple." "Do sit down." " Oh, thank you." "It concerns the funeral arrangements, I believe." "Yes, of course." "And if there are any messages..." "The vicar is a very understanding man." "No fatuous consolation." "Please tell him the arrangements will do very well." "Bunny's favorite hymn was Lead, Kindly Light." "I realize that I am only a stranger, but I am so very, very sorry." "I've just realized what I've lost." "Bunny was the only link with the past." "The only one who remembered." "MISS MARPLE:" "I know." "One is quite alone when the last one who remembers is gone." "I have kind nephews and nieces and..." "And friends, but no one who remembers the old days." "You're a very understanding woman, Miss Marple, and I..." "I thank you for it." "I must write a few lines to the vicar." "The police." "MISS BLACKLOCK:" "Thank you, Hannah." "Good morning, Miss Blacklock, Miss Marple." "Miss Marple dropped in with a note from the vicar." "But I'm on my way quite quickly now." "Unless there are any questions you'd like to ask me?" "Were you at the tea party yesterday afternoon?" "No, no I was not." "Then there's nothing you can tell me." "She really did come with a note from the vicar." "And I really do recognize a nosey parker when I see one." "I won't waste time offering sympathy, Miss Blacklock." "I hope you'll take that for granted." "I feel very badly about Miss Bunner's death." "We should have prevented it." "I don't see what you could have done." "There were lethal tablets in a bottle at your bedside, and we'd been guarding the house for days." "You could hardly have searched everyone who came to the house." "I suppose not." "At any rate, whoever it is has tried to shoot you, and tried to poison you, so who is it?" "I haven't the faintest idea, Inspector." "Let me offer some suggestions." "I went to Scotland and talked to Belle Goedler." "The only people who can benefit by your death are Pip and Emma." "I thought Patrick and Julia were likely contenders" " but we've checked their backgrounds..." " You've what?" "That's my job, Miss Blacklock." "Oh, yes, of course, I'm sorry." "And it's clear that Patrick and Julia Simmons are exactly who they claim to be." "So, I then thought about their mother, Sonia Stamfordis." "Goedler's sister." "Tell me, would you recognize her, if you saw her?" "Oh." "Yes, I suppose I would." "Although it's 30 years since I saw her." "She must be an elderly woman by now." "How do you remember her?" "Oh, she was small, dark, a very lively young woman." "She'll be gray and weary by now, like the rest of us." "Well, there is no shortage of elderly ladies in Chipping Cleghorn." "You're suggesting that Sonia is living somewhere in this village under an assumed name?" "I have to examine the possibility." "I can think of three women who match in terms of age," "Mrs. Swettenham, Miss Murgatroyd and Miss Hinchcliffe." "...All three were here yesterday, as they were on the night of the shooting." "The whole idea is ludicrous, Inspector." "Help me to prove it, Miss Blacklock." "Do you have a photograph of Sonia?" "Only very old photographs." "They're in an album in the attic somewhere, I think." "May I see them?" "Julia's in the house somewhere." "Ask her to show you." "Thank you." "It's terribly dusty, I'm afraid, and full of junk." "At the moment, I have a brain like that." "JULIA:" "We keep meaning to clear it out." "So do I, Miss Simmons." "So do I." "I'm sure the photograph album's in here." "Patrick found it when we first arrived." "We wallowed in nostalgia and laughed at the silly hats." "God, look at all this." "Aunt Letty just won't throw anything away." "Are you familiar with your family history?" "I suppose so." "Most of it's pretty boring, but if I can be of any assistance." "Were these photographs missing when you looked at the album?" "No." "Nothing was missing." "Sonia, self and R.G." "R.G., Randall Goedler." "Sonia and Belle on beach, picnic at Skeyne," "Charlotte, self, Sonia, R.G." "May I?" "All the pictures of Sonia have gone." "I suppose it's a sort of a clue, isn't it?" "Mmm." "Definitely a sort of clue." "Do you think your aunt would mind if I looked around for more?" "I'm sure you don't need a warrant to protect someone from being murdered." "Bearing in mind we've failed twice already." "Shall I leave you?" "In case you wish to be indiscreet?" "Thank you." "It's a breach of confidence, Miss Marple, but I'd like you to read these." "Oh, oh, very..." "Oh, thank you, yes." "I love breaches of confidence." "They're such fun." "I sometimes wish I'd married a priest." "Oh, my dear." "Except it's impossible, of course." " And, er, have you read these?" " Yes." "What conclusions did you come to?" "Miss Blacklock was devoted to her sister." "Wrote to her two or three times a week, and their father was a tyrant, an old-fashioned Victorian doctor who couldn't stand new ideas." "Probably killed hundreds of his patients." "I think I rather prefer old-fashioned doctors to young doctors." "They remove our teeth, administer very peculiar glands, take bits of our inside out and then say they can do nothing for us." "Generally because there's very little of the original us left." "No, I prefer old-fashioned medicine." "Big black bottles, you know, of tonic, because you can always pour them down the sink." "Oh, did you trace the revolver that shot that young man?" "It belonged to Colonel Easterbrook." "Yes." "Mrs. Butt told me the colonel has a revolver." "There's some confusion about when it was taken." "Did Miss Blacklock's sister die of consumption?" "I believe so." "We know she was in a Swiss sanatorium." "Oh, really?" "I mean, fancy using the colonel's revolver." "Yes, but I don't think Colonel Easterbrook is Sonia Goedler." "All we know about Sonia is that she was small and dark, with something of a temper, according to those letters." "Oh, yes, oh, these are fascinating, even if they are a breach of confidence." "I'll leave those with you till tomorrow, if that's all right?" "Oh, thank you." "If you would, yes." "I think we're destined for several hours of fascinated silence." "No, my dear, I shall prattle on non-stop." "Oh, by the way, is Miss Blacklock short-sighted?" "Yes, but too proud to wear spectacles." "When she comes to church she sings the hymns she knows by heart and la-la's her way through the others." "Really?" " I'll see you to the door, Inspector." " Do be careful, Delilah!" " Delilah?" "Yes my husband christened her that." "I'm very much afraid her moral standards are similar." "Oh, Aunt Jane, I'm sure you can't see properly." "Well, I do seem a little cluttered don't I?" "Let's get you properly organized." "Well, shouldn't there be a switch up here." "It's on the flex." "Oh, Delilah!" "You silly cat!" "Oh, oh, my dear, oh, what have I done?" "Oh, it's all right Aunt Jane." "It's not your fault, it's Delilah's." "Oh." "Probably fused all the lights in here now thanks to her." "What a nuisance!" "No, it isn't a nuisance." " It's wonderful!" " Oh, look!" "You can see, where she's been chewing at the flex." "That's why it fused." "With the assistance of a shepherdess..." "What are you talking about?" "Murder, my dear." "And I won't have a word said against that remarkable cat." "I think you told me, Mrs. Haymes, your husband was killed, fighting in Italy." "That's right." "It isn't true." "He was a deserter." "I know." "You should have told me." "Do you have to rake up the dirt about everybody?" "Yes, I do, and it's amazing how many people are able to provide it, too." "I don't want my son to know." "I don't tell him lies about his father." "I just don't talk about him at all." "Silence isn't quite the same as telling lies." "You were seen speaking to a man in the summerhouse the week of the shooting." "Was it your husband?" " I didn't talk to anybody." " Did he come to you for money?" "I haven't seen my husband for years." "You're sure about that?" "Silence can be exactly the same as telling lies, Mrs. Haymes." "RYDESDALE:" "Yes." "Is this intended to clarify the problem?" "Yes." "Three people can benefit from Miss Blacklock's death," "Sonia Stamfordis," " or her children, Pip and Emma." " Mmm-hmm." "These are the people who match in terms of age and sex." "Mrs. Swettenham, Miss Hinchcliffe and Miss Murgatroyd for the older generation." "Patrick Simmons, Julia Simmons, Phillipa Haymes, Edmund Swettenham," "Mrs. Harmon..." "At least you've had the decency to put a query beside the vicar's wife." "Yes, she's strictly on the older side." "Plus the Easterbrooks." " The Colonel had a pistol." " Had?" "It went missing the week of the murder." "Why didn't he report it?" " Didn't notice at the time." " Ah." "His wife swears it disappeared after the murder." "My honest opinion is she's lying to protect her husband." "Needlessly, because I think he's a nincompoop." "Would you like my honest opinion?" "I need all the help you can give me, sir." "A murder was committed in the presence of a group of people." "By logical deduction you have proved that the likely murderer was a member of that group." " Well, I think we already knew that." "Come in." "Er, sir, I thought you should see this." " I knew she was lying." " Who?" "10 days ago a chap got knocked down and killed by a lorry in Milchester, no papers on him, nobody reported him missing, he's just been identified as Ronald Haymes." "Ex-captain in the South Loamshire." "Phillipa Haymes' husband." "It seems like it." "He had some money on him, and a Chipping Cleghorn bus ticket." "Oh, what date was the accident?" "It was the day before the murder, sir." "I took note of that." "And with respect sir, I think we should take note of how he died." "What do you mean by that?" "He ran into the road to push a little kiddie out of the way of the lorry, sir." " I see." " I mean, a good death." "Uh, as death goes, sir." "Yes, we've taken note, Sergeant." "Phillipa." "I just heard about..." "Well..." "Just say the name." "He can't hurt anybody." "Your husband." "I..." " Do we have to go through it again?" " Yes." "Because whoever bumped off Rudi Scherz did the same to poor old Dora Bunner and I take exception to that." "Well, of course." "It could be any one of us next, and I'd take exception to that as well." "Now then, everybody who was at the shooting party was also at the birthday tea, except for Mrs. Harmon, so that lets her out." "Well, I should think so, too." "And I think it's a man doing this, because we all know what dirty dogs men are." "Well, anybody could have put the tablets in the aspirin bottle the day of Dora's party." "Anybody?" "How?" "We all went to the loo, didn't we?" "All that tea and sherry they poured down us, you'd have had to be superhuman not to go." "So, back to the first murder." "Now, that little Swiss idiot comes in here, stands here," " waves his torch around." " And the revolver." "No." "Not the revolver." "Somebody else had the revolver." "Now, I'm the Swiss idiot." "Where were you?" " I can't remember." " Of course, you can remember!" "I was behind the door." "When it opened, it knocked my toe, and hurt my corn." "When are you going to go to a proper chiropodist?" "You'll give yourself blood poisoning the way you poke around at your feet." "Now come and stand behind the door." "Mind your toe." "Now, I'm leaning against the mantelpiece with my tongue hanging out waiting for a drink." "Whoever does the shooting has to slip out into the hallway through the other door." "There isn't another door." "Not here there isn't, but at Little Paddocks there is." "Now, think." "Who could you see?" "More important, Amy Murgatroyd, who wasn't there?" "You're standing behind the torch, you see a series of faces." "I remember Mrs. Harmon sitting on the arm of the chair and Dora Bunner with her mouth open." "And..." "That's extraordinary." "...Damn and blast!" "Hello, Hinchcliffe." "Make sure you don't forget." " Hello." " Hello." " Hello, Miss Hinchcliffe." " Speaking." " Your dog's arrived." " What?" "He came on the milk train earlier this morning..." " Do you realize what time it is, now?" " It's about 5:15." "Oh, never mind." "I might have guessed it would be somebody else's fault." "The dog's arrived." "Came on the milk train, damn fools didn't think we'd be up yet." "Can't stand people doing my thinking for me." "Damn fools." "But don't you want to know what it is I've remembered?" "We'll carry on when I get back." "Don't forget!" "Don't you realize, she wasn't there!" "Don't forget." "She wasn't there!" "♫ Got no diamonds, got no pearls" "♫ Still I think I'm a lucky girl" "♫ Got the sun in the morning and the moon at night" "Oh, do go in, you'll get wet." "I'll only be two minutes." "♫ Sunshine, give me a sunny day" "♫ Give me the milky way" "♫ Oh, with the sun in the morning and the moon at night" "♫ I'm all right ♫" "Miss Marple!" " Oh." " Hop in, Miss Marple." "You'll get wet." " Oh, thank you." " All right?" " Can you manage?" " Yeah." "I'll do that." " Come and have a cup of coffee." " Oh." "We'll ring the vicarage and tell them you're on the town." "Don't mind the dog, will you?" "Setters, mad as hatters." "100% heart, 1 % brain." "Murgatroyd!" "We've got a visitor." "Come on, Miss Marple, a nice hot steaming cup of coffee." "Better let the dog out." "If Murgatroyd hasn't got the kettle on, there'll be trouble." "Come on, cutie." "Murgatroyd!" "That's her name, Cutie." "Have you ever heard anything more feeble and wet?" "Murgatroyd!" "She hasn't finished bringing the washing in." "Better go and see what that dog's up to." "Must have taken leave of her senses, such as they are." "Murgatroyd!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Get..." "I'll kill whoever did this." "When I get my hands on her." "We must call the police." "Why did you say "her"?" "We'd been playing a silly game, trying to find out who shot that Swiss boy." "My idea." "My fault." "No." "Just tell me what happened." "I was trying to work out by a process of elimination" "who could have slipped out into the hall that night." "Murgatroyd could see better than anyone what was going on." "I see." "And as I was going to fetch the dog, she got all excited and started shouting out," ""She wasn't there."" " "She wasn't there"?" " That's right." "She wasn't there." "So, you see, I must find out who "she" is." "Whoever it is will pay the price." "I hope Hannah's prepared an epic feast." " I've worked quite hard today." " You surprise me." "Skipped three lectures." "Most days I only skip two." "Julia!" "Is something wrong?" "This letter." "It's from Julia Simmons." "I thought you were Julia Simmons." "Oh, God." "Caught in the act." "Well, not quite in the act." "What are you talking about?" "PATRICK:" "Well, the fact of the matter is, Aunt Letty, it seemed like a bit of a lark." "Just a minute, you called me "Aunt."" "Does that mean you really are Patrick Simmons?" "Oh yes, I really am Patrick." "It's onlyJulia who..." "Who isn't Julia." "And whom exactly are you?" "I was christened Emma Jocelyn Stamfordis." "I'm Sonia's daughter, Emma." " Emma?" " Yes." "But how did you two come together?" "At a big party in London, soon after I was demobbed." "And what is the realJulia doing in Perth?" "PATRICK:" "She wants to be an actress." "She's been working with a rep company." "We knew mother would have seven fits so we planned this lark." "She'd go up to Scotland and get on with her acting." "And I'd come here, pretend to be Julia, and keep peace in the camp." "Also, we wanted to be together." "Oh, I see." "You two are..." "Madly in love." "I think that's the phrase." "Yes, I'm told that can happen." "And was part of this lark the idea that you might share" " in the Goedler inheritance?" " Yes." "That's not quite what was in mind, Aunt Letty." "What exactly was in your mind, Miss Stamfordis?" "My parents split up three years after they were married." "They split us up, too." " You and Pip?" " Yes." "Pip went with my mother." "I went with my father." "He was a villain, of course, a thoroughly bad father, but charming." "Then the war came, and I lost him too." "I worked with the French Resistance, came to England when the world had calmed down a little." "Alone and penniless, but knowing there was money somewhere in the family." "Then I met Patrick, a marvelous stroke of luck." "He said he was coming here and I thought you might take pity on a poor orphan girl once you knew the full story." "Pity?" "A small allowance, nothing excessive." "Why didn't you just tell the truth?" "EMMA:" "Well, we were working up to it, then suddenly people started firing revolvers and there were aspirin tablets causing instant death." "I thought my best plan was to keep quiet for a while." "We calculated the Inspector would be bound to suspect somebody who'd been telling lies." "Yes, I suppose that is reasonable." "But if you are Emma, where is Pip?" "I truly have no idea." "We were separated when we were three years old." "I haven't seen Pip or my mother for over 20 years." "Is that the whole truth?" "The whole truth is," "I came here hoping for a small allowance from my family's money." "I didn't come here to commit murder, so that I could inherit the lot." "Yes, I..." "I suppose I have no alternative, but to believe that." "Just a moment, you said you were in the French Resistance?" "Yes." " You learned to shoot?" " I can shoot." " In which case..." " If I had shot at you that night," "Letitia Blacklock, I wouldn't have missed." "Inspector Craddock would like to speak to all of you." " Thank you, Hannah." " All of us?" " Yes." " But we've only just come in," " we haven't had time to..." " Miss Amy Murgatroyd was murdered earlier today." "To be precise, she was strangled in her garden, just before noon." "I want a precise account of everybody's movements." "Whoever's doing these things, Inspector, must be mad, quite mad." "It doesn't necessarily follow." "Ah, my pearls!" "My pearls!" "I've never seen her so upset." " Good day, Miss Marple." " Good day, Sergeant." " How is Miss Hinchcliffe?" " Very shocked, I'm afraid." "She seems to have aged 10 years." "We must do something, Sergeant." " Missing?" " Yes." " How long has she been missing?" " Oh, about two hours." "She went along the road to speak to Sergeant Fletcher." " That's what, about five minutes away?" " Ten at the most." "It doesn't help because I've lost Fletcher as well." "She suddenly became very excited about pearls." " Pearls?" " Yes." "Well, she'd been making this list in her notebook." "Lamp, violets, aspirins, Bern," "Letty, old age pension, pearls." "Does Miss Blacklock always wear those pearls?" "Yes." "We laugh about it sometimes." "I'm very concerned about Miss Marple." "The minute you hear anything," " you must telephone the station." " Yes, of course." "Inspector Craddock!" "Fletcher, what the hell are you playing at?" " So you see it's been quite a day." " So I see." " But only the one murder." " Oh, Julia!" "PHILLIPA:" "I understood she wasn't Julia." "Well, I still think of her as Julia." "Well." "And then, on top of everything else, that nice Miss Marple has disappeared." " Perhaps she's on the run." " On the run?" "If she murdered Miss Murgatroyd." "Phillipa!" "Can't you stop talking about murder?" "Don't you understand, I'm frightened." "God!" "Don't worry, Aunt Letty, I'll look after you." "Mind you, I could do it better on a full stomach." "I am hungry, Hannah." "I am frightened." " Are we having supper tonight?" " You can make it yourselves." "I do nothing more in this house." "If they kill Miss Murgatroyd, they can kill anyone." "I am going to lock myself in my room until tomorrow and then I leave this house for ever." "Good night, Miss Blacklock." "I'll see to dinner." "Might be less embarrassing all round." "Don't be silly, darling." "Nobody wants to sit at table with an imposter." "Oh, Patrick, if you're acting as protector, you better taste the food." "I don't want to be accused of poisoning the omelets." " Omelets all right for everybody?" " Fine by me." "It's all I can cook anyway, but I'm outstandingly good." "Do you need any help?" "No." "There's something I want to say to you." "Save it!" "I've had enough drama for one day." "If you've fallen madly in love with Edmund Swettenham," " that is strictly your business." " It isn't that." "Look, why don't you make yourself useful." "Go and lay the table in the dining room or something." "Which is a polite way of saying "leave me alone."" "When I shoot, I shoot to kill." "I'm on your side, Emma." "That's all." " That was excellent." " Thank you." "Have you eaten anything?" "I had mine below stairs, thank you kindly, Mrs. Haymes." "I'll answer it." "Hello." "Every time the phone rings, I assume somebody else had been bumped off." "Let's count our blessings." "At least it was none of us three." "You're being amazingly cheerful all of a sudden, Phillipa, considering we're surrounded by death and deceit." "Thank you, Inspector." "Oh, do you think we might have coffee in the drawing room?" "We're expecting company." "Not another announcement in the newspaper?" "Inspector Craddock has invited himself over." "Well, he hasn't been to see us for at least 20 minutes." "And he's bringing the Easterbrooks and the Swettenhams." " How terribly thrilling." " Coffee in the drawing room?" " Very well, ma'am." "I don't have to explain why we're here." "Today, Miss Amy Murgatroyd was murdered, very brutally." "And there's every reason to believe she was murdered by somebody in this room." "More than that, we believe the murderer was a woman." "Good God!" "I'm going to ask the ladies present to tell me what they were doing today between the hours of 11:00 and noon." "Starting with the young lady who has been calling herselfJulia Simmons." " Calling herself?" " Hush, mother." "Between 11 and 12, I was in Milchester, meeting Patrick for a secret walk along the river bank." "We have no witnesses." "We could easily have driven in a fast car to Miss Murgatroyd's cottage, but we didn't." "I throw myself on the mercy of the court." "Mrs. Swettenham." "Me?" "What were you doing at the time in question?" "Well, either turning the heel of a sock or cleaning out the gutter, depending what time the rain started." "CRADDOCK:" "It started to rain at 10 past 11." "Ah, well, that means that I was turning the heel of a sock until ten past." "Then the rain started and pours into our passage by the cloakroom where the gutter's stopped up." "So, I put on my coat and gumboots and I cleaned out the gutter with a broom handle." "Do you have witnesses to the sock-turning or gutter-cleaning?" "No." "I called to Edmund but he didn't answer so I assumed he was at an important place in his novel." "And were you?" "No, I was asleep." "Do you need a witness to that?" "I don't think so." "Mrs. Easterbrook?" "Oh." "I was in the study with Archie." "We were listening to the wireless." "Can you confirm that, Colonel?" " Er, no." " No?" "We were listening to the wireless at 11:00." "Are we not talking about 11:00?" "We are talking about between 11:00 and 12." " Precisely." " And bear in mind that you withheld vital information about a revolver, so may I have some accuracy on this occasion?" "I was in the study with Archie, listening to the wireless and then I toasted some scones, and in between I went for a little walk." " Alone?" " I was talking to Lampson, a farmer from Croft End, about some chicken netting." "While your wife took a little walk?" "Why don't you ask the others what they were doing?" "That Haymes woman." "And Edmund Swettenham." "He writes books about murder and he's a communist!" "He's always saying that..." "I've made it quite clear that we are looking for a woman, Mrs. Easterbrook." "Before she died," "Miss Murgatroyd made a vital statement about the killing of Rudi Scherz." "As you will all remember," "Miss Murgatroyd was standing where I am standing now when the unfortunate young man entered through this door." "But it was dark." "Nobody could see anything." "Miss Murgatroyd was standing here, so she could see where the torch was shining." "Only she could see who wasn't in the room at the time of the shooting." "She saw everything." "I, too, saw everything!" "That's impossible." "You weren't even in the room." "No." "I am not in the room." "I am just a serving maid and a foreigner." "I am not fine enough to be in the room with the proper English ladies and gentlemen." "You do not even ask me into the room to answer your questions, and I know the answers, because I saw what happened." "Tell us what you saw." "The night of the shooting," "I am in the dining room cleaning the silver when I hear the shots." "I look through the keyhole and I see her with the gun in her hand." "I see Miss Blacklock." "Me?" "You must be mad!" "But that's quite impossible, if you think about it, Inspector." "Of course it's impossible." "Because it was you, wasn't it?" "Thank you, my dear." "Perhaps you could return to your kitchen now." "HANNAH:" "Always the kitchen." "You took the colonel's revolver." "You organized the advertisement in the newspaper with Scherz." "We all know you have a vivid imagination." "The whole idea is monstrous!" "The lights went out, you slipped through that door into the hallway, shot at Miss Blacklock, then killed Rudi Scherz." "EDMUND:" "And why would I do such a thing?" "What possible motive could I have?" "I hope you have an explanation for all this, Edmund." "If Miss Blacklock dies, two people inherit." "The two we know as Pip and Emma." "Julia Simmons is Emma, that we know." " And..." " And you think that I'm Pip?" "I'm Edmund Swettenham, and I can prove it." "Birth certificate, schools, university, everything." "PHILLIPA:" "He isn't Pip." " I can prove it, too, Inspector." " You?" "I'm Pip." "Good God, Phillipa Haymes." "Everybody assumed that Pip was a boy, but we were both girls." "We hadn't seen each other since our parents separated." "I had the same idea as Julia." "I knew there was money in the family." "I found out where Miss Blacklock lived, took a job in the area." "I just wanted a little money to help with my son's education." "Murdering people wasn't part of the plan, and when the killing started..." "Well, then the letter arrived today and truly that was the first moment we both realized..." "Who we were." "EMMA:" "We're getting along famously." "Inspector, will you excuse me please?" "Just two minutes." "I wouldn't try to kill Miss Blacklock, she's been too kind to me and neither would Edmund, because he isn't Pip." " But he is in love with you, isn't he?" " Well..." " Has he or has he not proposed to you?" " Of course, I have!" "She's wonderful and I'm going to marry her." "Edmund, you never tell me anything!" "You couldn't possibly have seen me!" "It is impossible!" "What the devil are you doing?" "Truth and lies." " Liar!" " Charlotte!" " What are you doing in my kitchen?" " Watching you, Miss Blacklock." " Are you all right, my dear?" " Did I do it properly?" " You were splendid." "I must ask you to come along with me to answer questions about this incident." "And there will be other charges." "I have to warn you, Letitia Blacklock." "Charlotte Blacklock, Sergeant." "I'm sorry." "Charlotte Blacklock." "I'm sorry." "I want to kill you." "I want to kill you!" "It's your story, Miss Marple." "Oh, I only just helped a little, here and there." "Like stage managing Hannah's performance tonight?" "She couldn't have seen Miss Blacklock through the keyhole because the key was in the lock." "Yes, you did your best to ruin the whole thing." " I was accused of murder, too." " Really?" "I'm almost sorry I missed it." "Edmund was part of our stage management and he performed magnificently." "What gave you the idea in the first place that Miss Blacklock was the murderer?" "Oh, the way the shooting was planned." "It had to take place in total darkness." "Therefore, there could be no fire." "Therefore, the central heating was on." "Everyone commented on it and no one could arrange that, except the mistress of the house." "The lights went out, Miss Blacklock slipped out into the hall, fired the shots, killed Scherz, then slipped back into the room." "Then she nicked her ear with a pair of nail scissors." "If you snip the lobe of the ear, it releases quite a lot of blood." "And of course, Delilah helped, too." " Delilah?" " Mmm." "The cat." "Yes, if you fray the flex of an electric lamp and then pour water on it, the lights fuse." "You see, I didn't realize that until Delilah demonstrated it to me." "Is that how Aunt..." "How Miss Blacklock fused the lights?" "Yes, she poured water from the flowers onto the frayed flex of the table lamp." "Poor Dora Bunner noticed that the lamp had been changed." "No longer a shepherd, but a shepherdess." "Or the reverse, I'm afraid I can't quite remember, but..." "Yes, but why start all the killing to begin with?" "Because she had a guilty secret." "It's a case of once upon a time." "Once upon a time, there were two sisters," "Charlotte and Letitia Blacklock, complete with a stupid, cruel and old-fashioned father." "Letitia Blacklock was a very successful professional woman, personal secretary to Randall Goedler." "But Charlotte stayed at home." "She was disfigured." "She had a swelling in her neck." "You know, a thyroid gland known as goiter." "An operation would have been possible, but her father didn't believe in it." "But, er, however, just before the war, her father died, so she was able to go to Bern and have an operation, which was a success." "Except that the operation left a scar around the neck, hence the pearls." "Letitia left her job with Goedler to look after Charlotte in Switzerland." "After the operation, they both worked in the Red Cross during the war." "And then, quite unexpectedly, Letitia died." "Charlotte knew that Letitia had quite a large sum of money to inherit and also that nobody had seen her in England for many years." "So she changed identities." "She chose a very quiet, out-of-the-way village called Chipping Cleghorn and waited there for Belle Goedler to die, then she would be a rich woman." "But of course really, it was her kindness of heart that let her down." "Dora Bunner wrote to her out of the blue." "She'd been an old school friend of both the sisters." "Charlotte was pleased to hear from her and let her into the secret." "And Dora approved whole-heartedly." "It seemed only right to her in her confused and muddle-headed mind that dear Lotty should not be done out of her inheritance because of Letitia's untimely death." "So, Dora came to Little Paddocks, and very soon Charlotte realized that she'd made a terrible error of judgment." "Dora was unreliable." "She sometimes called her Lotty instead of Letty." "And then Rudi Scherz turned up, a much more serious threat." "Did he really know Miss Blacklock?" "Yes." "We checked." "He'd worked at the clinic in Bern." "I'm sure all he had in mind was a little petty blackmail but he was a threat to Miss Blacklock's whole way of life." "She'd begun to believe in her fantasy, you see, so she shot Rudi Scherz." "And then of course she found that poor Dora was unreliable." "I'm afraid it was that conversation with me in Blue Bird Cafe that Charlotte partially overheard that day that really sealed poor Dora's fate." "She tried to make her last day a happy one by giving her a birthday party." "Really, it was like being kind to a dog that you're going to destroy." "And Miss Murgatroyd?" "Oh, no, she killed Miss Murgatroyd out of fear." "Poor Aunt Letty." "Nice smile." "Stay where you are." "Just one more." " Miss Marple." " Oh, Inspector." " A handsome couple." " Yes, indeed." "You're an honored guest, I assume?" "Oh, well they were quite insistent, and you?" "Oh, no, no, I was just passing." "As a matter of fact, I read about the wedding" " in the Chipping Cleghorn Gazette." " Of course." "How else would one know what was going on in Chipping Cleghorn?"