"[Mouse squeaks]" "[Penguins wenk]" "[All cheering]" "[Screeches]" "♪ Adventure Time ♪" "♪ Come on, grab your friends ♪" "♪ We'll go to very distant lands ♪" "♪ With Jake the Dog and Finn the Human ♪" "♪ The fun will never end ♪" "♪ It's Adventure Time ♪ Ripped By mstoll" "[whistles]" "Hey, friend." "Don't be afraid." "I'm a child like you, running wild and crazy." "[Laughs]" "[Gasps] Hold on." "Wow." "A falling star." "It's too far, though." "♪ Magic!" "♪" "You're welcome." "Hmm." "Ah." "There." "Wait." "Oh, glob." "He is here somewhere, my brothers." "Glob, can you see Magic Man on the sensor?" "Yes, Gob." "Our little brother is very close." " Hey, flip me." " Okay." "I'm gonna activate the thingy that drains his magic juice." "[Groans] My juice!" "Not... flowing... right." "Dream on, honey." "You can't catch this." "[Panting]" "Magic away!" "[Pshew!" "]" "[Whap!" "]" "I think I see him." "Yes, I see him, as well." " Hey, guys." " BOTH:" "What, Glob?" "Nothing." "Never mind." "[Panting]" "Wait." "Wait." "Shh, shh!" "Shush!" "I... wasn't..." "You hear that?" "It was totally silent for like a whole second." "Huh." "Oh, yeah." "Cool." "Sometimes we get so wrapped up battling stuff, we forget to... [all grunt]" "[Groans]" "[Gasps]" "Ooh!" "[Moans]" "Waaa... zoo!" "Hey." "Shhhhhh." "[Smack!" "]" "ALL:" "Arise." "Magic Man, you caused nothing but turmoil and chaos for us on Mars." "We thought banishing you to this world would help you see the light of our utopian super-society." "Now, tell us..." "what have you learned in these past 200 years?" "Are you guys talking to me?" "You know you made life on Mars a nightmare." "[Groans]" "Now we must return you to Mars, where vengeance awaits thee." "That's not..." "Magic Man!" "Get up!" "Did it work?" "Is he gone?" "Yep." "[Grunts]" "They took my friend to Mars!" "Fly me there and help me save him!" "Oh, I'm sorry, but I can't." "You see?" "The transfer drained me." "I can probably barely float." "So I just got to wait 'til they kill your friend." "See ya!" "[Laughs]" " No!" " Whoa!" "What do you mean "kill"?" "They're gonna put him on trial for my crimes." "Ain't nobody gonna pardon these crimes on my head... not even the king of Mars!" "And once he's dead, my magic juice will return to my body... flowing through me like moonlight through the ghost dance." " Squeeze!" " [Groans]" "I wish I could help... except I don't!" "You succubutt!" "♪ Come on, let's go to my house ♪" "♪ Come on, let's go to my house!" "♪ [grunting]" "[Groaning]" "[Thud!" "]" "How long have you had this house?" "Yes, that is true!" "Well, I bet there's something here that can help me save Jake." "There is, but you'll never make it work." "What?" "!" "Where is it?" "!" "I don't know!" "Have you seen my trash palace?" "Yeah, what's the deal?" "This place is wrecked." "What am I stepping in?" "That's where I blow my nose all day." "Ugh!" "Yes, welcome to my tower of light." "Everyone is welcome to share this magic kingdom... squirrels... black mold... worms... poison ivy... tiny manticore." "[Muffled] Help me, you coward!" "Magic Man, what is your deal, for real?" "You tell me." "Well, for one, I think this house is a reflection of your sick brain." "Look at this." "Yuck." "Who's this you're standing with in this picture?" "♪ Memories drift in and out of my mind ♪" "♪ And the little people get left behind ♪" "♪ So whatever ♪" "All... right." "Well, I'm gonna keep digging through this stuff 'til I find what you're talking about." "It's downstairs." " Huh?" "What?" " My special thing." "Whoa!" "[Screams]" "Holy crepes." "[Groans]" "Ta-da!" "Come on." "That's the thing..." "my special thing." "A Martian transporter." "[Gasps] This can take me to Mars?" "!" "Yeah." "My brothers gave it to me when they banished me to Earth." "They thought I'd learn love and use it to go back home." "How do I do it?" "You put your hands on those thingies and think stuff about people." "But it's broken." "Hasn't worked in 200 years." "But..." "it has to work." "It has to." "For Jake." "[Transporter powers up]" "Huh-duh?" "!" "Yaaaaaaaah!" "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" "[Laughing] Whoa!" "[Transporter shuts off]" "Citizens of Mars," "King of Mars... today, the most notorious fiend in Martian history stands before us..." "Magic Man." "[Panting]" "[Gasps] Stop!" "[Grunting]" "Turn on the dark." "Okay, so we don't have footage of these crimes, but Grod's pretty good at drawing, so..." ""Plague of Shadows."" "Magic Man brought our shadows to life." "They attacked us and ravaged Mars." "Very impressive, Grod." "Thanks, bro." "To the "Plague of the One-ness."" "As we gathered to hold hands and sing our community song," "Magic Man cast an evil spell that made our arms grow together." "Much suffering ensued." "And what about that one time when he turned all the water into hair and we all got so thirsty, we drank it?" "And when we drank it, we went bald?" "Many of us did not recover and, to this day, hide our loss behind groovy headgear." "Dark off, please." "Magic Man, it bums me out to see this." "I remember when you were really cool, before that night you spent on Olympus Mons with Margles." "[Grunts]" "Aw, man!" "[Tapping] Force field." "What happened, Magic?" "Why did you go crazy?" "If you had just learned to care about living things again, you could have come back whenever you wanted." "Well... you guys are missing some important details." "I'm Jake the dog." "Listen." "[Barking]" "You sad Magic Man." "Instead, you bummed around Ooo acting like a jerk for 200 years." "Yeah, that's true, except I'm not Magic Man!" "Now!" "Ready the Wand of Disbursement!" "ALL:" "Ready." "Space dome, open!" "Oh, snap!" "[Gulps]" "Magic Man, I give you two choices... one is total annihilation." "The wand will touch you, and your soul will meet with death." "The second is to use the power of the wand to convert your body to living stardust, where your consciousness will be jettisoned into the infinite cosmos on an endless journey of wonder and discovery!" "Wow." "That second one sounds pretty cool." "I mean, yeah, I'm like way into that." "Except... ohh..." "I would really miss my best friend." "His name is Finn." "And I think it would mess him up if I wasn't around." "Wait... did you say you would miss someone?" "Yeah." "And that someone would miss you?" "Yeah, that's me, you dishrags!" "[Grunts]" "[All groan]" "[Screaming]" "[Poof!" "]" "I win again!" "Just like always!" "[Gasps] Jakey, no!" "[Gasps] Look." "[Gasps] It's the dog." "The one you were prophesied to meet." "I don't care none for that mess!" "This wouldn't have glomped if you'd just listened to my bro!" "You bunked up, King of Mars!" "The wisest, most honest super being of all time just put an innocent dog to deads!" "You're right, Finn the Human." "My judgment was less than the standard by which I judge my peers." "Of which I have none." "I will retrieve your friend from the 37th dead world." "Ooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaah!" "Death." "King of Mars." "What's your business?" "I need this one back." "Hmm." "What will you give me for him?" "[Twinkle!" "]" "[Laughs] Not this time, your majesty." "[Laughs]" "In that case, I offer my immortality." "Deal." "[Rattle!" "]" "[Bang!" "]" "[Groans] Huh?" "Hey!" "I'm alive!" "Yay!" "King of Mars saved you!" "[Cheering]" "Yes, but at what cost?" "Oh, man." "Should we go get Magic Man?" "No." "I lost a friend." "I cannot lose my brother, as well." "ALL:" "Hey, what?" "Where did they go?" "Eat my skids!" "Yaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" "Oh, Margles." "FINN:" "Magic Man!" "Huh?" "Bam!" "[Muffled] You're back, coward!" "Go!" "Get out of here, tiny manticore!" "Whatevs!" "I didn't need your pity help!" "Geez." "What?" "I am the true coward." "Hiding from sincere expressions like a vampire in the nude who hides from the light." "Thank you, brave hero." "I was freed from bottle jail, but my new prison is shame." "My new prison is shame!" "What's he saying?" "He said, "my new prison is shame."" "♪ Come along with me ♪" "♪ And the butterflies and bees ♪" "♪ We can wander through the forest ♪" "♪ And do so as we please ♪" "♪ Come along with me ♪" "♪ To a cliff under a tree ♪ Ripped By mstoll"