"I don't want to write about women and sex again!" "I've had enough of sex!" "Sex!" "I've had it up to here!" "The readers love it." "You only have to write one." "Which was it?" " Female fantasies." " Wonderful!" "Could you go shopping?" "I'm behind with the charity bookkeeping!" "Then can I write about my own topic?" "Surely those six articles show that sex is your topic?" "What did you have in mind?" "I can't believe I'm doing this!" "But it is her own fault, isn't it?" " I always say that?" " Yes." "Boys!" "Be nice to this man." "I'll write about what women want." "About me and my sisters?" "Wanda?" "What?" "X-Arts Gallery invited me to do a show!" "I'm on my way!" " How did it go?" " Fine." "Just a sec, they're waiting for my e-mail." " I can write my own piece." " Great!" " Just one more sex article." " I'll do that in an afternoon." "My piece is about us:" "Sisters." "About Wanda, Michelle and me." "Wanda has found a gallery." "I mean..." "Your article could be good publicity for her." " How did you know?" " What?" "Oh, she called." "Wanda never calls me!" "Then she must be very pleased!" "I'll get some photos from Mom for the article." "Can you fetch Lizzy from kindergarten?" "Put the lid on and simmer." "Serve in a bowl with paprika, garlic and onions." "A delicious sauce." "This was Felix Delicious!" "See you next week!" "If you want to be on my tasting panel, call 03003434." "Hasta la Pasta!" " You knew he had a TV show?" " No." "I always watch." "He's still so charming." "How's Hugo?" "Is he getting tired already?" " Tired of what?" " Of what?" "Very well." "But don't say I didn't ask." "I have some lovely news." "Nino is getting married." "Nino!" "When?" "Who to?" "To..." "What's her name?" "To Bo!" " Bo?" "Bo who?" " A lovely girl." " A girl?" " She's very enterprising." "Nino came and introduced her." "Oh, never satisfied!" "Why do my daughters fret so?" "Wanda thinks she had an unhappy childhood..." "Michelle with her suffering world, and you trying to write..." "And you had such a lovely job." "It's so old fashioned!" "Mom, when is Nino getting married?" "When was it?" "In three weeks." "I have a letter here somewhere." "Impossible, a disaster!" "This is Sonja!" "Is Michelle there?" "Nelly, you have to disturb her!" "Tell her Nino's getting married!" "Our brother, Nino, and I'm on my way round." "I don't understand you." "You know what this means!" "Why all the panic?" "You haven't been to Paraíso for 10 years!" "The photos!" "You can take the boxes." "They're only in the way." "Wanda, come to Michelle's." "Nino's getting married!" "Wanda, it's ridiculous!" "Of course it is." "Nino's gay as Frisco, we all know that." " Gays get married like ordinary people." " But not to women!" " Congratulations." " About what?" "Your exhibition." "Hugo told me." "3:30 p.m. Michelle's house." " You still do that?" " You still make organic apple pie?" "Children that eat sprayed fruit are slower learners!" "But you only worry about yourself and your art." "Art is the conscience of society!" "No family and apple pie for me!" "Are you confusing cause and effect, darling?" " You know what?" " Can't we talk without quarrelling?" "That letter is much more important." "Isn't it?" "Very well." "I'll be the oldest and wisest." "Again!" ""Dear Mom:" ""I'm getting married in a month's time, on February 12..." " "to my girlfriend."" " Girlfriend?" ""That's just before my 33rd birthday." " "Bo and I have decided"..." " Bo?" " "...to get married in Portugal."" " The bastard!" " We lost it!" " Dirty trick!" "Dad made his will, not Nino." " I'm sure he doesn't mean to..." " Don't be so naïïïve!" "Nino's gay and two weeks before his birthday, he marries!" "A woman!" ""I hope you'll all come to Paraíso for the wedding." ""Love, Nino." "P. S:" "Tell my dear sisters."" "This isn't right!" "Bastard!" "He doesn't know his sisters!" "He won't get Paraíso!" "That's that!" "This is very strange... deciding this all on his own... without us!" "Hey!" "That's my old dress." "Where did you get it?" "Out of a box in the garage, I guess." "Don't you bother asking if I want to keep it?" "I wore it throughout my school days!" " You must have given it to me for charity!" " No, I didn't!" "It was my favorite dress!" "Where did you get it?" " Leave them be!" " I say!" "Okay, put it with your fancy dress." "I'm going to open a bottle of port." "I need it!" "That's you, Sonja!" "Wasn't he a sweetie!" "Oh, Nino..." "We were horrible to him." "Look, there's Dad." " That's Nino with..." " Felix." "I saw him on TV." "He's turned into a real bore." "His program is so middle class!" " I'm not interested in that Felix." " You're not?" "I never thought he suited Nino." " Wanda, didn't you do it with him?" " No, that was Sonja." "God, I think I lost my virginity to him." "As if you wouldn't remember!" "We'll go and see him tomorrow, first thing." "We'll make him change his mind." "Let's agree on one thing." "We won't give up Paraíso!" "Never!" "For instance, I say "window" and you say "freedom."" "It's just an example." "That's how most people react but once they've got over that... it works very well for me." "Partners often give opposite answers." "It's fascinating!" "I'm interested in people." "That's why." "But I'm an outsider at the office." "We'll do several quickly." "Listening, Nino?" "Here it comes!" " Fire." " Pain!" "As a boy, I burnt myself on the barbecue." "My father was mad." " Mother!" " No idea." " Bleach?" " Woman." "Dream." "That's nice." " Can I come in?" " Nearly!" " Money!" " Deliverance!" "I don't know..." "Ton." "About the speech..." "I don't really want it too detailed." "Not about childhood, family." "Bo and I are getting married, that's all." "I'll get it." "What's all this?" "You can't get married without telling your eldest sister!" "You never wanted to marry!" "You didn't even call me!" "This isn't like your old slum." " Is this a real Gispen?" " No, it's a Paulin!" "What happened to you?" "Sorry, you have a visitor." "I'm Michelle." "Sonja and Wanda." "We're Nino's sisters, you can see that." "I'm Ton Verburg, registrar." "We were just preparing for the wedding." "Sorry!" "We just dropped in." "Not used to announcing a family visit." " Isn't Mo here?" " Bo." " Yes, she is." " Now it's my turn." "Hey!" "How lovely!" "What's the matter?" "Is it that bad?" " Hello." "You must be Wanda." " I'm Sonja." "Sorry!" "Hello." "And you must be Michelle." "The eldest, I see." "And you're Wanda." "We wanted to meet you earlier, but planning the wedding is so hectic." "How lovely to see you at last." "Nice, such a beautiful girlfriend." " Where did you meet?" " In the restaurant." "We both just love food." "You can see that, can't you?" "What would you want with our little loser?" " Once he could take a joke." " We forget that he's so vulnerable." " Shall I?" " No." "Leave it to me." "You have a wonderful brother." "I just love his vulnerability!" "He really has a feeling for women." "Let's be frank." "We're unhappy about this hasty wedding." "Our brother is so impetuous." "He got innocent people in trouble before." "We shouldn't hide it." "It's true!" "He never had a girlfriend before." "That's for sure!" "If it's true love, we want to see him happy." "But, let's be frank, Nino is one of them!" " You make me puke!" " Am I wrong again?" "Nino's always been gay, but does Bo know?" "Maybe he's bi with Bo?" " Do you care?" " They look happy enough!" "You may wonder why we care." "You favor marriage on demand?" " One in three ends up on the rocks." " No, of course not." "Promise you'll marry me?" "Whatever happens?" "We'll get married." "Promise me!" "What's going on in your head... little loser!" "Never mind." "We'll get married, I promise." "I came to say we're leaving." "Sorry it was inconvenient." "Sorry for meddling." "Michelle and Sonja are awful!" "No problem." "I'm so glad to meet you." "I suddenly have three sisters!" "Nice to meet you." "Maybe we can go out to dinner... or have a drink." "Just call, okay?" " I really don't understand you." " Sorry, I blurted it out." "I never saw Nino so happy." "They were so loving." "Loving?" "She's only after the money!" "I don't know if she knows he's gay." "Maybe he's using her." "I'll talk to her." "I know Nino better than you two." "Leave it to me." "I feel sorry for her." "But when she has a husband and children, she'll be grateful." " It's five to!" " Shit, I must go!" "I'll call her later!" "She suddenly came in!" "And a young artist should never quarrel with her!" "She writes about young artists in four magazines!" "She used to do it with what's-her-name from the City Museum!" " De Vos." " There you are!" "She can make or break my career." "Sorry!" " How was your week?" "Did you see Hugo?" " Yes, so what?" "This is more important." "How did you feel afterwards?" "Great!" "Tired but satisfied." "Not guilty at all." " Bad, eh?" " I didn't say that." "You don't mind." "I do it with my sister's husband." "They have a kid and you don't mind." "What do you do with a serial killer?" "Is your affair with Hugo a form of revenge?" " Revenge?" "On who?" " I don't know." " Sometimes that's unconscious." " Rubbish." " You don't want to talk about it?" " No!" "You should listen to people." "I want to talk about Bo, my future." "We have to stay friends until the opening!" "But I want Paraíso, too." " You have two sisters, don't you?" " They left it to me." "Can I have a studio there?" "My own label?" " Of course, we have more than 20 rooms." " Hotel Gallery Paraíso!" "We'll turn it into an exclusive club." "Wanda Warhol and friends." "Of course, it's mine." "I'm the eldest." "I always sacrificed myself." "No more griping patients." "Never up at 7:00 again!" "Just the sound of the sea." "We'll follow nature's rhythm." "We'll teach Lizzy ourselves... and write our articles there, far from the madding crowd." "Just the three of us." "No one else." "Not even a chambermaid?" "No!" "Painful?" " When does it hurt?" " When I pee... after fucking." "Sometimes it just hurts." "You can put your pants on." "When you pee, is it a jet or a dribble?" "Dribble." "Spit it out!" "How long do I have left?" "There's no reason to worry." "Just to be sure, I'll refer you to a specialist." "Do you..." "Is your sex life suffering?" "No, not really." "You're always meddling!" "You have nothing better to do!" " No, we're just worried." " Shut up!" "Michelle has employed an entire army." "And we just work!" "...my first kiss, the first wet dream, all run by my own sisters!" "For the first time, I make up my own mind... and you try and interfere!" "I hate you!" "As soon as I'm married, I'll sell Paraíso to anyone!" "I'll be glad to be rid of it!" "Sell it?" "But, Nino!" "I forbid it!" "Sell it!" "Wanda has to tell Bo." "That's our only chance!" " I have to go and see Wanda!" " I can drop by." "It's on my way home." "Would you?" "Love to Daddy." "This is Wanda Hofstra's answering machine." "Speak after the tone." "Pity you're not home." "Michelle sent me." "Nino just told her he's selling Paraíso." "You have to use your charm to stop him." "'Bye, sister-in-law!" "You think Bo knows?" "She has to!" "I went to see Jan." " He referred me to a specialist." " Maybe Nino's bisexual." "We don't really know him." "They may take everything out." "I should write about not knowing your own family!" "Listen to me!" "They may take out my balls and everything!" "He'll take an x-ray, just in case." "And you'll leave me." "I can feel it!" "Stop it!" "A life with dildos and vibrators?" "You?" "That's enough!" "You're pathetic and petty!" "You're hard and insensitive!" "Just say I shouldn't worry!" "Is that asking too much?" "I'm dying!" "It's a bit of a gamble, but I believe you have something to say." " Are you happy with this space?" " Yes." "I think we can manage." "It's nice of you to give me a chance." "I was wondering..." "We mustn't forget Bo." "Put Bo Mendez on the guest list." "Little Bo always comes for a peep." "Female Fantasies" "What do women really want?" "What do I know about my family?" "What do I know about my family's sexuality?" "A shipment has just left for Sudan." "Jan helped us get these drugs from hospitals." "Are you going to take photos?" "You have to say it's all done by volunteers." "Everyone works for nothing." "How are you and Jan in bed?" "I thought I'd say something different." " The article isn't just about..." " You can't just ask about my sex life!" "That's so banal!" "What Jan and I do is nobody's business." "Even if we never do it!" "You're no good at interviewing, Sonja!" "Why doesn't Wanda call?" "Hugo went to see her." "Michelle!" "Can I stay here for a while?" "Evert threw us out!" " We have nowhere to go!" " Of course, Dorien!" "As long as you like." "That's terrible." "Nelly will get you something to eat." "You can stay as long as you like." "Don't worry about that." "I'll get back to work!" "Tell me all about it later, Dorien... but I urgently have to call my sister." "I have to talk to you." "Now." "What's with this wedding?" "Last year you both had that restaurant on Ibiza." "Does Felix know?" "It's finished." "My life isn't his business!" "What are you doing?" "Everyone knows you're gay..." " apart from Bo." " I'm not gay!" "I am not gay and never was." "I don't believe you suddenly like women!" "Even if you do..." "Only gays get married these days!" "What's going on?" "Are you in debt?" "Taking coke?" "You can tell me." "I need money." "Lots of money." "So I'm selling Paraíso." "What for?" "You can trust me." "Really?" "That's strange." "I remember something way back." "You weren't going to tell Mom and Dad." "Hey, that's nice!" "You too?" "Just saying hello to Nino." "Must you go?" "Do you have time for a drink?" " Nice." " Nino, get us a drink." "I read your article yesterday about new frump!" "I agree with every word!" "You know I have an opening at X-Arts next week?" " I made them put you on the list." " That's nice." "Thanks." "Why don't we go out later, after work?" "We could go to the Easy." "I always go there for a good time." "The Easy is old hat these days!" "Yes, yes, it is." "I have an invitation to Joop and Rex tonight." "Joop and Rex?" "...so busy!" "We had drawings made for the renovation." "If we invest 50,000, we can earn 200,000 easy!" " So you're going to sell it?" " It doesn't interest me." "Why didn't your family sell it before?" "It's so big!" "What's the use of all that space?" "Shall we go?" "I've seen enough." "Yes, me, too." "It's a bit boring tonight." "Are you staying or coming?" " Just a minute." " I'll see you at the opening." "'Bye, sister." "Don't drink too much." "Maybe I can help with your wedding dress?" "That's nice, but not necessary." "I bought a lovely dress from Dries." "A perfect fit!" "It doesn't need anything done." "How wonderful to have a perfect figure!" "We're at a boring kindergarten parents' night." "They are really dopey!" "We look at each other." "You pop outside." "To the toilet." "I have to go, too!" "We do it there." "Against the wall." "Who's that coming?" " The kindergarten teacher!" " No!" " She wants to make love to you, too!" " No." "Not to me, to you." "She thinks you're beautiful." "It's for your article!" "I need some inspiration." "I'm not into that." "If I'm not enough, find someone else." " I just want you to enjoy it more." " I don't enjoy the kindergarten teacher!" "Why her?" "Why not a man?" "Why not..." "Jan?" "Jan?" "Your brother-in-law?" "Yes." "What gave you that idea?" "Jan, that bore!" "I can't imagine that!" "I really fell in love just once." "His name was Felix." "Then my little sister went to bed with him." "I was devastated!" "I instantly lost all my faith in life." "What's your name?" " Dieter." " Dieter, I need your sperm." "It's not for a baby." "I hate babies!" "My sister has a baby." "She's really gone downhill." "I don't want any babies." "I only want your sperm." "Just a little, for an exhibition." "I have a bus to catch." "Or I'll miss my connection." "Nothing worse than a missed connection!" "I know all about that, Dieter!" "You have to make the best of things." "Never mind." "I'll find someone." "I know I shouldn't call, but I really miss you!" "I don't get Wanda." "She hasn't been in touch." "No, Jan!" "I had a terrible nightmare!" "Evert was chasing me with an ax." "Like that film with..." "The phone bill!" "2,200 guilders!" " How much?" " 2,200." "It must be a mistake." "Ridiculous!" " I don't think so." " This is impossible." " Is Evert still in London?" " Jan, that's mean!" "You know Evert was never in London!" "We have a South African au pair, a Brazilian maid... a gardener from Kosovo and three Asian foster children." "You could support Michelle!" "But if there's a problem, the men are gone!" "You cowards!" "He's overworked." "It's so hard being a general practitioner." "We have to leave here." "We need rest." "I hope Wanda managed!" " You really can't come?" " I have to see Michelle." "Wanda dropped out." "I thought you spoke to her." "I'll be going." " 'Bye." " 'Bye." "'Bye." "In my flowery dress I ask him to quiz me after school." "Flowery dress" "Well, that's that!" "You still have that old dress you found?" "The one with the flowers?" "Does it mean so much to you?" "It was covered in stains." "If it's not in the machine, check the basket." "The children wore it making papier-mâché!" "It didn't work." " What did you..." " It's very complicated." "She got very emotional." "I talked to her all night." "She doesn't want to know." "She's blinded by love!" " What exactly did you say to her?" " Don't you trust me?" "That's not what she said." "It didn't work and that's that!" "I'd like to see you manage!" "We have to think of something else!" "I have to move to Portugal with Jan and the kids." "We can't cope." "We need a rest." "You and Jan?" "What's all this?" "It's mine, too." "Maybe I need it more!" " My psychiatrist..." " You are so strange!" "Compare your life with ours." "I have five children to raise." "Children are more important than art?" "I didn't ask you to adopt half the third world!" "You're so mean!" "I've had enough of you playing the victim!" "We did our best." "It didn't work." "That's it!" "I have other problems." "An opening in three days' time." "All this crap!" "Can't you talk to Nino?" " He was always fond of you." " I've had enough!" "Why can't he be happy with Bo in Portugal?" "We want to be happy, too!" "How could you say that?" "We can't let him take Paraíso!" "If we do nothing, none of us gets it!" "We have to..." "Hugo!" "We can set Hugo on Bo!" "Hugo?" "My Hugo?" "Your Hugo can seduce Bo and drive them apart!" "Hugo can do it, you know that!" "Come on." "We can rein him in." "Okay?" "Just a minute!" "It's only red paint." "It's no big deal." "Bredi." " And you?" " I write, too." "Columns and the odd article." "Right now I'm writing for Today's Woman... about female fantasies... sex." "You're so transparent!" "The boring thing about men your age... is that they try so hard to prove they still count." "I don't mind talking about the Yalta Treaty..." "Sex and war..." "Are the most important themes in life." " Sex isn't important?" " No." "You mean that?" "You sound like my ex!" "He's so obsessed, too." "I really don't plan to go to bed with you." "Oh, that was the general idea." "You think I'm here for fun?" "I was sent by your three intended sisters-in-law." "Well, at least I tried!" "I have things to do. 'Bye!" "I'm learning all about fantasies." "How did it go with Bo?" "Okay." "Did she fall for you?" "Anything wrong?" "I wore this when I was 15." "I was a very decent girl." "But not all the time." "Sonja, not right now." "It hurts down there..." " I want the results first." " I don't." "How come you suddenly can?" "You have to be inspired by someone else." "You always do, don't you?" "What are you thinking about now?" "Just you in the dress, that's all." "Sonja!" "I forgot entirely!" "I have to pick up Lizzy!" "Or will you go?" "That's my grandma!" "Mom, Grandma's on TV!" "Mom!" "Terrible music." "My sister's maid." "The music'll soon be over!" "Hi, Esther!" " How did it go?" " Fine." "She was at my feet." "I could have done anything with her." "But I didn't feel like it." " What do you mean?" " No magic." "Just ask Sonja." "I have to see Jan." "I used some of our conversations." "I record everything I do." "But you won't recognize our voices." "Fragments, like music." "You don't mind, do you?" "Where were you?" "Why didn't you mention the Hugo disaster?" " What does he mean "no magic"?" " Not now!" "Wanda!" "Wanda!" "You heard about Hugo?" "We'll have to go to Portugal with Bo." "You only think about yourself!" "This is my opening, bitch!" "He kept talking about you." "He's still upset." "I think he still loves you." " I don't want to interfere." " Well, don't!" "It's all over between Felix and me!" "Stop making trouble!" "I'm marrying Bo!" "Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please." "It's about to start!" "Please line up here." "You, too." "Please." "Here." " Have you seen Bredi?" " No, who's Bredi?" "I'm curious about the show." "Say, did you set Hugo on me?" "Hugo on you?" "He tried to seduce me and said you asked him to." "That's typical of Hugo!" "I thought that would be a bit strange." "Are you all right?" "Can't we go to Portugal with you?" "To help you with the preparations." "That would be wonderful!" "There's so much to do!" "Please!" "We're nearly sisters, after all!" "Let's talk about it." " Do you often think of death?" " Not right now!" "Daddy!" "Music!" "Very nice." "Beautiful." "She's come a long way since her last show, hasn't she?" "Come on Lizzy, let's dance!" " Cheers!" " Cheers!" " To our eternal friendship!" " To our eternal friendship!" " To all our lovers!" " All our lovers!" "Never jealous again!" " To the hotel!" " To 1.9 million guilders!" " Less the costs of renovation!" " Really?" "Long live the marriage of convenience." "Don't be too hard on her." "She is my sister." "That's okay in a marriage of convenience?" "They arrested him on the border with cash and medicines." "What's a Kosovan like?" "Explosive?" "What can we do?" "I can't stay here..." "I have to go to Paraíso!" "If you report it now, we can handle it." " Your husband will stay here?" " Yes." "But you won't." ""Dearest Hans, you were torn from us too soon."" "49 years old, damn it!" "This one didn't make it to 55!" "Are you also going to..." " Are there hotel guests in the winter?" " I expect so!" "'Bye, darling!" "Will you mail the text to Annet?" " 'Bye!" " 'Bye!" ""The coitus interruptus was a surprise to all." ""Debutante Wanda Hofstra has no control over her material." ""One wonders whether, after Nitsch's blood and Tracy Emin's needles..." ""we really want slides with adulterous sperm!"" "She can forget it!" "Whatever happens, she won't get the hotel!" "Even if I have to drown her in the sea!" "The red-wine sauce and the gravy..." "Hey, do you regret it?" "No, it's just that..." "I'd rather we..." "I don't like my body." "It's confusing." "You've got a great body!" "Idiot!" "We'll forget it." "The tequila..." "It won't happen again." "Can we stay friends?" "Sorry." "Don't let my sisters get to you!" "They're monsters!" "If you want to attend next week's show, call 0300..." "Dearest beach!" "You missed us, didn't you?" "I can do it here!" "Mauricio!" " When will it be finished?" " Next month." "What's that man doing?" " Fitting plastic windows." " Plastic?" "The wood was ruined by the salt." "We had to replace them." ""We"?" "The hotel isn't yours yet!" "You think anyone would buy it?" "Romance is fun, but you have to be realistic." "Did you see that?" "We must drown her." "That's better for everyone." "Yes!" "Let's commit murder!" "Great idea!" "Stop that bickering!" "Bickering?" "My sister wrecked my marriage!" " You wrecked my career!" " You seduced..." "Stop it!" " Are you upstairs?" " We're coming!" "Go on down." " What did you tell her?" " Nothing, of course." "Just what we agreed." " Lf you knew what I've been through." " Does she know about Felix?" "How come?" "You were going to tell her!" " She doesn't know?" " No." "That's what I said." "Well." "We'll have to tell her." "That his boyfriend is the most attractive and sexiest chef in Holland!" " He is, too!" " I don't see that." "Come on, she's waiting!" "And I'm warning you." "Stop bickering!" "They want a second test." "I arranged it for tomorrow." "It's probably nothing." "In 90 percent of cases it's nothing." "Will you come to dinner tomorrow?" "Shall I cook?" " Bring Lizzy!" " Great." "Come on, man!" "Send them all home." "I'm closed for the rest of the week." "The doctor is ill!" "Shall I take three or four tiers?" " What do you think?" " Two will be enough." "I say, Bo..." "How's your article coming along?" "What's it about?" "About what women really want." "I'm a little stuck." " You don't have the right!" " I don't?" "It's my house." "And Michelle's, but she's not here." "Pity!" "You know what your problem is?" "You can't communicate." "Just like Evert!" "You have no feelings!" "Feelings?" "Obsolete rubbish!" "All my patients do is communicate their feelings!" "I have to listen to their communication." "All day, every day, whether I like it or not!" "I've had enough, Dorien, get out!" "Out!" "You, too!" "Go on!" "What can I do?" "I have nowhere to go!" "I live here!" "Dad, you can't do that!" "Okay, you can stay." "I'm glad you're here." "I can't face alcohol, it must be nerves." "Nice, but heavy." "What was it?" "Obrigado." "The "Coleras" is great." "Colares!" "I can feel it." "Michelle, you have to tell her." "Very good!" "I have to sit down." "It hits harder in the afternoon!" "Not right now!" "Bo, it's not that we're not enjoying it..." " but before we go on with this..." " I know." "The Colares!" "Fifty bottles, please." "Shall we try the vino verde?" "They have 36 kinds!" "Okay, let's have some dinner!" " I'm tired." "I want to go back to the hotel!" " You have to eat." "Or your Dries gown will fall down!" "We have to run through the seating!" "...and my mother beside Ton, he's the registrar... and a very nice man." "You should be on the other side of him, Wanda." "Great." "Maybe he isn't married, Wanda!" "I always wanted sisters." "I'm an only child and... it was pretty lonely." "Bo, to save you the misery... you should know..." "I don't like telling you this." "Nino has had a relationship for years... with a man." "Felix." "Felix Delicious... the sexy TV chef." "Maybe we're a bit late... but you wouldn't want to find out later." "They lived together for ages." " Four years." " On Ibiza." "But I already knew." "I have boyfriends, too." "Nino and I really connect." "Neither of us wants a traditional marriage." "Or rusty relationships that only get in the way." "If I look at you..." "It must be awful!" "I bet you and Jan never have sex anymore, Michelle." "Nino and I want to have fun and freedom." "We both have our boyfriends... and we cherish our friendship." "We keep it pure." "Good evening." " Are you staying at the hotel, too?" " Yes." "I'm marrying their brother." "Tears." "Excuse me." "I'll leave you alone." "Good evening, ladies." "I want to go to bed." "Me, too." "If it's really good, then cooking is like..." "Iove." "You get what you give." "This is Bo and Nino's answering machine." "Messages after the beep." "Thanks." "If you want to add that something special, go on!" "Even if it isn't in the recipe." "You have to feel it." "If your body says you have a different taste... then face it and don't deny your body." "The body never lies." "If you want to do something different... then do!" "Follow your intuition." "Do it!" "It's important." "Felix, can I have your autograph?" "All we can do is appeal to her conscience." "That woman doesn't have one." "We have to be really nice to her." "And also let her know we can't live without the hotel." "She can't be that hard!" "She must think we're really pathetic!" "We are." "I couldn't do that anymore." "Jogging!" "That looks fine." "It's lovely." "I have things to do." "I won't be long." "It would be a pity, wouldn't it?" "Call me tomorrow between 9:00 and 10:00." "But..." "Hello, darling." "Have you had sex with Sonja?" "Did she say that?" "No, she wrote it." "No, we haven't." "I've been in love with her for ages." "I never told anyone." "It looks so lovely." "Thanks, sisters-in-law!" "I needed you." "I have to tell you something." "I think I'm pregnant." "Great, who's the lucky man?" "Your brother!" "Don't let Dorien in." "Or Louisa!" "No women at all!" "Nelly, what did I say?" "Come on, man!" "I didn't dare to tell him." "Not in all those years." " Who?" " Felix." "I just have to have the operation!" "And I want him back, real bad." "But he won't want me anymore." "If he's a real man, he'll love you as you are now!" "But I don't love me as I am now!" "Ever since I was small, I felt like a girl, not a boy." "I hate myself." "But Dad was the only one who knew." "Why do you think he made that will?" " What does this operation cost?" " Lots of money." "I'd do it." "Sell the hotel and you'll have the cash." "Don't worry about Bo." "She undresses me with her eyes." "Don't feel sorry for women like that." "I don't know." "I can't get married." "Listen..." " Hugo and I don't want the hotel." " No nursery schools, no bars!" "A nightmare!" "Marry her, get divorced, sell the hotel and keep the money!" "Do it for us!" "Because you fucked up my puberty!" "That was 20 years ago!" "Don't be pathetic!" "You don't know what was going on!" "Daddy wasn't to know they were gay." "You were just used!" "Felix didn't even fancy you!" "He must be grateful." "After fucking you, he really knew he was gay!" "I heard it all." "Your deflowering!" "Room 11!" "You were terrible and cried, "Oh, oh, don't do that!"" "No, not without underwear!" "He could have done it with me." "It would have been beautiful!" "So 20 years later you fuck my Hugo!" "He fucked me, because you're so boring in bed." "You never want to have any fun." "So why does he live with me and not you?" "Why does he want a child with me?" "You think anyone ever wanted a child with you?" "You only think about yourself!" "Why don't you call back?" "I have something to tell you... something important." "Where the hell are you?" "I hear all these things and I..." "Just call me, please!" "Oh, Jan, I'm so sorry!" "I don't speak English... but your voice sounds very exciting!" "What are you looking at?" "Without experience, it's easy to frown on other's failings." "I'm not frowning." "Your brother made me pregnant and he's in love with Felix Delicious!" "You could have an abortion!" "It's no fun, but we could cancel it all." "So you can take the hotel!" "I'm not having an abortion!" "I'm marrying Nino... and with the hotel money, I'll raise my child alone!" "Yes, I'll wait." "You mean..." "Negative means it's okay?" "Yes." "Thank you, goodbye." "My husband wasn't a bon vivant." "He was stern and rusty." "He suffered from it, too." "You only have one life." "I don't believe in self-sacrifice, do you?" "Darling!" "You look wonderful!" "And you organized it perfectly!" "Hello, girls!" " Try and look cheerful!" " Hello, Mom." "Goodness, you look awful." "What have you been up to?" "I found out Felix hadn't been invited... so I put that right." "Mauricio!" "Shall I..." "Hello, darling!" "It's beautiful here!" "Your mother hardly slept." "I'm so nervous!" "He got really drunk last night, during the stag night!" "I'm Louis Van Loon, the bride's father!" "Yes, there they go!" "Hey, that has to wait!" "Lovely..." "I narrowly escaped death." "Really!" "Jan..." "I had a fling last night." "Here?" "It was to be expected." "You shouldn't say that." "You want to divorce me now?" "Will you sit at the front?" "That would be nice." "Everyone find a place so we can start!" "Where's Nino?" "Sit down." "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome... to this unique location on the Portuguese coast." "My colleagues were very jealous when I set off for Portugal today." "I had to promise to bring back a bucket of sand." "Bo and Nino have asked me not to talk about both their backgrounds." "That's a pity, because we had some good talks... and it struck me that Nino may be more melancholy... but Bo does try to see the brighter side of life." "For instance, Bo associates the word "mother" with love... while it made Nino think of bleach." "I didn't understand that until today!" "The couple keep each other in perfect balance." "The sisters have had their doubts... but Bo and Nino soon made me realize... this is true love." "Anyway, I can't say anymore... so let's get on with the official part of the ceremony." "Will the couple please stand." "Bo Geertruida van Loon, born in Coevorden on January 13, 1974... do you take as your husband Nino Hofstra... born in Amstelveen, on February 28, 1968... for better and worse, in sickness and in health... as long as you both shall live?" "What is your answer?" "I do!" "Nino Hofstra, do you take as your lawful wedded wife..." "Bo van Loon..." "Felix." "Nino!" "Nino!" "Nino Hofstra, do you take as your lawful wedded wife... for better and worse, in sickness and in health?" "What is your answer?" "Nino." "I don't." "I can't do it." "Well..." "To us!" "To Paraíso!" "And to Mom!" "I never expected this." "The hotel is ours!" "Bo, open the door!" "Darling..." " Open the door!" " Please open the door, darling!" "No!" "You won't do anything silly, will you?" "Please open the door, Bo!" "I have to talk to you!" "Please?" "No secrets, remember?" "We'd be friends!" "You lied to me!" "Used me!" "Bastard!" "Go back to your Felix!" "He can give you a better blow job... and he's famous, too!" "I'm having your child." "I'll be a single mother." "A sad mom on benefits..." "You're right." "I'm a coward and a weakling... and I'm sorry." "How could I?" "I should have told you but I couldn't." "I still can't say it." "When I saw Nino's reaction at the opening, I knew... something had to be done." "When it comes to love, you have to use your brains." "You love Nino, and Nino loves you, right?" "Selfish bitches, always have been!" "I see." "Felix, this is Bo." "Bo, this is Felix." "The rhythm of nature!" "Spare me!" "The sea's already driving me crazy!" "Teaching Lizzy every day." "We have to do something." "I say "wedding," you say "chainsaw," "grenade" or "genocide"!" "Not funny!" "Listen, Ton!" "A wedding is a wedding, isn't it?" "You were so busy with yourselves, we came to you!" "Is it all over between us?" "It looks like it."