"You're traveling through another dimension- a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind, a journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination." "Your next stop, the twilight zone." "I don't see him." "He's in the box in front of the pulpit." "I thought he'd be in a coffin." "Silly fool." "That's what the box is, a coffin." "Thank you, sister." "Brothers and sisters, we are congregated here today to pay homage to our dear brother, jefferson myrtlebank." "We all know that jeff myrtlebank was a good boy." "He didn't always show up to sunday school on sunday, but we never saw him at the bootlegger's on saturday night, either." "Amen." "We're all going to miss this fine youth." "The good lord must have had a powerful reason to want to take him so young in life." "Hallelujah." "But we all know that the lord moves in mysterious ways and today... he's alive." "The mid-20s." "The midwest- the southernmost section of the midwest." "We were just witnessing a funeral, a funeral that didn't come off exactly as planned due to a slight fallout from the twilight zone." "Who in tarnation put me in that coffin?" "Brethren, let's not give way to panic." "A small mistake seems to have been made." "Brother siddons, it seems you got a little sense left." "Now, what's going on around here?" "Son, we was about to bury you." "Bury me?" "We was real certain you'd died the day before yesterday." "Died?" "Well, that's silly." "Doc bolton pronounced you dead." "That's right, son." "Your heart stopped beating two days ago." "I was at the bedside." "Well, i... that couldn't be." "I'm... i'm breathing now." "It wasn't beating day before yesterday." "You was sick, son, real sick." "Worst case of flu i've ever come across in my whole medical career." "I'm surprised he lasted past last wednesday." "I hate to cast a shadow on your medical career, doc, but i won't crawl back in that coffin just to save face with you." "Yes, sir." "There was no question about it." "There was no pulse." "Well, i'm sure glad you didn't embalm me." "How do you feel now, son?" "Well, i feel good." "I feel a little weak but, uh... rested." "Hungry." "I could eat the hide off a bear." "I'm real hungry." "I reckon you should be." "I know you ain't et for three days." "Ma!" "Pa!" "Surprise!" "I sure hope you got a good supper on the calendar." "What's the matter?" "You act like i'm some sort of ghost or something." "Hello, son." "Well, i'll be double-dogged." "My own folks are a-scared of me." "Comfort?" "I'll bet you ain't scared of me." "I'm the man you're going to marry." "Well, i guess you are at that." "Liz?" "Now, you ain't a-scared of me, are you?" "Jeff, you fooled them, didn't you, jeff?" "Yeah, honey, i fooled them." "Son." "Son!" "Praise be." "We ain't lost you after all, son." "I know what it is." "I know what it is." "The miracle that happened here in our county." ""Ipso suspendo animation."" "Very rare." "There have been only 30 cases in the past 1,500 years." "Ain't you just covering up for your miscalculations?" "I ain't heard of that sickness." "Ain't likely you would- 30 cases in 1,500 years, all them in europe." "You should quit trying to slandering my name and take him home, give him some soup." "He'll need some rest." "Well, i..." "i'm a mite weak." "We'll get you right on home." "Just as soon as i crank up." "I'll fry you a nice rabbit." "I'm sorry i acted so funny, jeff." "It was just that..." "it was so sudden." "Sure nice to have you back." "Oh, thank you kindly, comfort, honey, but i ain't never been away." "That was a larruping good breakfast, ma." "Well, i guess i'll get over to that east 40 and mend that fence." "Oh, i wish you wouldn't." "It's only been two weeks since you was at the brink of the grave." "You oughtn't to be toiling from sunup to sundown." "I feel great, ma." "I never felt better in my life." "I'll see you down there, pa." "All right." "I... i'm real concerned." "I... i just don't like the way he's behaved the last two weeks." "What do you mean?" "He's different, not like he was at all." "Seems the same to me." "He only et two eggs again." "Why, ever since he's sprouted teeth he's been having three eggs at breakfast." "Well, a man's taste can change." "And he goes around fiddling with things night and day." "And the way he goes at that hard work." "Why, he was never that friendly with work before." "Yes, sir, that's true at that." "I recollect worrying many times that he leaned just a shade towards the side of shiftlessness." "Not lazy, exactly, but... no." "No, just uninterested." "And since his sickness, he's been fighting in that work just like he was a year behind." "No, it ain't like him at that." "All right, big ears, you run down to the mailbox and wait for the mailman." "I'm expecting a new catalog." "Sure hope it gets here." "You've about wore that out." "Make way for the queen!" "He ain't been here yet." "Can i shoot?" "Sure." "Here's your ammunition." "I ain't afraid of frogs." "It's just that they're dirty." "How's your brother?" "All right, i reckon." "Only ma and pa are a little bit concerned the way he's been behaving lately." "How's he been acting?" "I don't know, just... different." "He eats different, works different, always fiddling with things." "Besides, it ain't none of your business." "He loves me not, he loves me... is that a fact?" "Well, i was wondering if you'd heard anything." "Well, as a matter of fact, i have heard a little something." "I... just a minute." "You run out and play." "Why?" "I want to listen." "Go on now." "Scoot." "Aw, shucking'." "You want to hold a mouthful of black pepper for ten minutes?" "Little pitchers have big ears." "Well, now, i know for a fact that those poor folks are scared to death." "Why, he's been acting like a complete strangers ever since the funeral." "Yes, sir, i mean, i sure wouldn't want to go sleep in a house with that boy around." "Not me." "They say he's started fiddling with things now, like axes." "I don't know." "He was always such a good boy." "Gents." "What do you say, doc?" "We was just discussing that myrtlebank boy." "Yeah, what about him?" "Just wondering about him." "I guess you've heard how peculiar he's acted lately." "Yeah, i heard." "I ain't one to pass on gossip." "Still, you gotta wonder." "Where was he them 48 hours he was supposed to be dead?" "Had to be somewheres." "If he was dead." "Doc says he had that rare sickness." "Maybe i told a white lie, strauss." "Maybe i was thinking of his folks' feelings when i brought up that disease." "Can you straighten that out?" "I'm not the kind to bury a body unless i'm positive he's dead." "You know me better than that." "Shoot, yes, we know you, doc." "I did more than feel that boy's pulse." "When his folks left the room, i gave him the pin test." "I stabbed him with a pin." "He didn't even flicker." "I held a mirror to his lips." "If there was any life left in the man at all, his breath would fog up the mirror." "Well, what happened?" "I pronounced him dead, didn't i?" "Then where could he have been for them 48 hours?" "Why don't we say it?" "We're all a-thinking it." "You say it, peters." "You're daggum right i'll say it." "How do we know the man who got up and crawled out of that coffin is really jeff myrtlebank?" "I wouldn't talk like that, gentlemen." "It could cause a lot of trouble." "Well, i don't know." "My grandma, she used to tell me about evil spirits roaming around the world trying to find a body to take over." "She said that they'd steal a corpse sometimes before a man was good dead." "That kind of talk's dangerous, peters." "Although i must confess this throws a lot of dry kindling on the fire that's been smoldering in my brain ever since the funeral." "Have a good day, gents." "It's him." "Dagnabit, comfort, now's the time to tell him." "Right now." "No." "I don't tell you who to see." "And you leave me alone." "Well, maybe orgram's right, dear." "You know what everyone in the county is saying about him." "Well, he's not visiting the county- he's visiting me." "Well, you're just plain rotten stubborn." "I bet all your kids are born with horns." "Orgram!" "You two just get on into the kitchen and let me entertain my guest." "Well, bless my soul!" "Comfort... look at who's here." "Well, come on in this house." "And how's your ma and orgram?" "Just fine." "How's your folks?" "Just fine, except ma." "She'll be madder than a hornet tomorrow." "Mad?" "You see, i... i robbed her pet rose vine just so i could bring you a bouquet." "Oh, you oughtn't have done that." "Oh, it's not much." "They're dead, aren't they?" "I guess tame roses- they don't last very long." "When did you pick them?" "Oh, i picked them just before i came over here." "Oh, well." "Why... why don't we have some music?" "Yeah, i'd like that." "We just bought a new country blues last week." "Yeah, i see you did." "Don't touch me." "What's the matter with you?" "I'm sorry." "Just the way them flowers died." "Maybe you've got poison on your hands." "I ain't got no poison on my hands." "That's not what's bothering you." "Everywhere i go it's just the same." "I expect it from the others but not from you." "I'm getting sick and tired of everybody treating me like a vampire." "Oh, jeff." "Now, you tell me." "Are you my girl or not?" "Well, land's sakes, child, you're scared half to death." "What'd he do?" "Nothing." "It's time to put a stop to this." "After all, i'm the man of the family." "He didn't do nothing wrong." "I ain't liked him since we were both three years old." "Unhand me." "Orgram, you be careful." "Jeff?" "Now, what do you want?" "I don't want you hanging around here anymore." "Now, let me give you some advice, orgram." "I'm mad right now." "I ain't mad at you in particular, but it'd be a shame if you got in my way and i had to take it out on you." "You threatening me?" "Huh." "You forget who i am." "If i had a dime for every time i whopped you, i'd have a hundred dollars." "That's right... but you ain't whupped me lately." "Now, you get out of my way." "Make me." "Oh, my baby." "My poor little baby." "Get out the wagon and the team." "He broke my jaw." "Oh, we'll get you right into doc bolton." "Poor jeff." "He hasn't got anybody." "Poor jeff?" "!" "Orgram, your jaw ain't broke or wouldn't be trying to talk so much." "You ought to do something about that dandruff." "I tell ya, i'm convinced." "How long i been whupping jeff in a bareknuckle fight?" "As far back as i can recollect." "I used to chase him home from school every day like it was one of my regular chores." "He never was no match for you, orgram." "How come he bested you tonight?" "'Cause it weren't jeff myrtlebank i was fighting." "Whoever it was, he had ring training." "He hitting a different way that we do around here." "That man is dangerous enough to kill with his bare hands." "That's exactly what i'm afraid of, gentlemen." "We seem to be living with something evil in our midst, and we got to put a stop to it." "We've all discussed what we're going to do, and i for one can't see any reason for putting it off any longer." "You through talking now?" "Let me have another look in there." "I rode out to warn you:" "There's a group of men coming out from town- they're going to ask you to move out of the country." "Well, now, how do you feel about that, comfort?" "Well, i'm a fickle woman, jeff." "I'm the kind who believes whatever is said by them i'm with." "I've heard some bad things said about you and sometimes i ain't strong enough to turn a deef ear to them, but in my heart, i reckon i love you or else i wouldn't be here with you now." "I got a great love for you, comfort, and i want you to marry me." "I reckon you better give me your answer right now." "Gents." "What do you say?" "Jeff, we are here as a committee to speak for the community." "We talked this over and we came to the conclusion that jeff myrtlebank is dead." "We think you're a hant." "That's right, a hant." "We don't know who you are or where you come from." "We figure you stole jeff's body." "We don't even like you as a neighbor." "We're asking you to move out." "Move out, you hear?" "What do you say, jeff?" "Well, i think that depends on miss comfort gatewood." "I just asked her a question and she ain't answered it yet." "I reckon i'm with you no matter where we have to go." "You stand behind me, then." "Gents, my wife-to-be and me, now, we was born and raised in this county." "We like it." "We don't aim to raise our kids anyplace else." "Now, you... wait a minute!" "I heard you out." "Let him speak." "We're going to stay, and that means just two things:" "One, if you're wrong about me, then you ain't got nothing to worry about because that means i'm just a poor ol' country boy by the name of jeff myrtlebank." "But on the other hand, if you're right about me, then you better start treating me pretty nice because you just don't know all the trouble i can cause you." "I might wave my right hand and bring a whole grove of locusts down on your crops." "Then i might wave my left hand and dry up all your wells." "Then i might snap my fingers and burn a barn or two." "And then some morning if i get up and i feel exceptionally ornery, i might have the hawks come down and steal your chickens." "Yes, sir." "You folks better start treating me and mine real nice." "That's a different picture with you aiming to marry comfort." "We ain't wanting to hurt her none." "Yes, sir, it'd sure be wrong to hurt her trying to get at somebody else." "When are you fixing on marrying her, jeff?" "Right away, i reckon." "Let us know about it, boy." "We'll picnic that day." "Well, come on, gents." "They got a lot of talking to do." "You couldn't really do all that, could you?" "Of course not." "I hate lying to them, but i find that when something comes up you've got to cope with it." "How'd you do that?" "Do what?" "Light that match?" "You didn't strike it on anything." "It just lit." "Comfort, honey, first thing you've got to learn is not to imagine things." "Jeff and comfort are still alive today and their only son is a united states senator." "He's noted as an uncommonly shrewd politician, and some believe he must have gotten his education in the twilight zone." "Mental illness is no longer hopeless." "Many are now being saved." "Help fight mental illness." "Support your mental health association."