"Excuse me." " Pardon me." " Sure." "Excuse me." "Major, there you are." "You have an urgent phone call." "Who is it?" "I'm late for a meeting." "A Father Genaro." "I don't know who that is." "He's a Catholic priest from Fresno." "Okay." "Take a message." "Ma'am, I really think you should take this call." "This is Major MacKenzie." "Sarah MacKenzie?" " That's right." " I'm Father Genaro." "I'm a Franciscan priest and the administrator at the Hospice of the Sacred Heart in Fresno, California." "I've been talking to a man I don't think will last the week." "He's been asking for you, so I looked you up." "I'm sorry." "I think you have the wrong MacKenzie." "Really?" "May I ask you, is your father's name Joseph?" "Your father came in last week." "The cancer, it seems, has travelled to the liver, which was apparently not in very good shape to begin with." " Father, do you need money?" " Oh, no, no, no." "We don't charge." "We're set up principally for those who can't pay." "Joseph and I talked." "He's accepted his fate." "But there seems to be a great deal of psychic pain." " I guess he wants to" " Father Genaro," "I haven't seen my father since I was 17." "We were estranged." "Yes, that's been confirmed by him." "But I would..." "What do I call you, miss?" " Missus?" " "Major" is fine." "Major." "Major, I think that's the point of my call." "I believe it would be of great comfort to your father if you and other members of your family were present." "In fact, I've been trying to reach your mother." "Do you know where I could contact her?" "No." "Oh, I..." "I believe he would want the both of you here." "You know, to settle things." "Major?" "Blacksburg Unicom." "This is Stearman November Romeo 153 for a straight-in approach on Runway 2-4." "Blacksburg Unicom, no other traffic in the pattern." "Roger, Blacksburg Unicom." "One-five-three." "Key on 135.0." "Click twice for runway lights." "You know, the sun was setting, and I hadn't checked my night vision in a while." "I drive at night." "I can find the light switch in the dark." " Maybe it's okay now." " It's not okay." " You have scars on both retinas." " They're from a bout of toxoplasmosis" "I contracted about ten years ago." "What made you think they'd gone away?" "And don't tell me the Navy doctors told you to eat carrots and drink cod-liver oil." "If you're serious about improving your condition, you're gonna have to face surgery." "Well, doc, according to my research, night blindness is not surgically treatable." "You don't have night blindness." "You were misdiagnosed." "You have blurred vision as a result of the scarring." "During daylight hours, it's inconsequential." "It's evident at night." "You can make this go away?" "Through a process called laser oblation." "I've done six of these procedures." "One on a commercial pilot." " Is he flying?" " All the time." "What are the risks?" "There's a chance you could experience further reduction of your normal vision." " Meaning?" " Meaning, you might never step into the cockpit of another airplane." "Hey." "This is not a good time, Harm." "Okay." "No problem." "How about now?" "Talk to your friends." "My father's dying." "I'm sorry." "I'm a little confused." " Your father drank, right?" " Often." "I think you told me that he abused your mother." "Yeah." "Just as often." "I guess I was under the impression you didn't care about him." "I don't." "He asked for me." "He's in a hospice in Central California." " You still angry at him?" " No, I'm over that." "So go." "Well, the reason I'm over it is because I stopped making him a part of my life." "I don't think about him." "I mean, I don't even acknowledge his existence." "So, what are you upset about?" "I don't know." "Well, maybe you should find out." "What would I say?" "Go with an open mind." "It might turn out better than you think." "Maybe he wants to bequeath you a hundred-acre ranch in Texas, introduce you to a twin sister you never knew you had." "No more death this year." "It's not worth the anguish." "Let me tell you something I've been thinking about lately." "Unfinished business." "Don't make this about your father, Harm." "It's not the same." "This is something altogether different, Mac." "Why is it that we think it's a good idea to bury things, you know, to pretend that they don't matter?" "You see, you don't realise what kind of an influence your father's been on you, Mac." "Think about it." "You joined the Marine Corps." "You're an alcoholic." "My father had nothing to do with my becoming a Marine." "And I'll take the responsibility for my drinking problem." "Thank you." "Your relationships with men." " Okay, you need to go now." " You're angry, Mac." " Harm." " You just don't know it." "You're badgering me." "Look, you need to go down there, look him in the eye and tell him how you feel." "And if I don't?" "Carry him with you the rest of your life." "Every time you put on that uniform, he'll be there." "Every tray of martinis that passes will smell like him." "Every time a man tells you you're worth something, you push him away." "But the way I see it, you have two choices:" "You can choose to ignore it or you can move past it." "At the moment, they're concentrating on transmission problems with the phone lines, a faulty Kodak board or a corrupted computer." "And that's the..." "That's the progress that we have made in three days?" "I'm afraid so, sir." "Well, Tiner, that's a..." "That's an option a day." "We do have the video cameras working, sir." "Well, I have a very simple question for you." "Will Commander Rabb and I be able to video conference with the CNO tomorrow as scheduled?" "That's the plan, sir." "Because if we can't, Tiner, if we can't, we'll have to fly to the U.S.S. Corregidor, where he's presently visiting, and discuss the Horse Slaughter trial aboard ship." "Yes, sir." "I'm aware of the inconvenience factor, sir." "And as manager of this project," "I assume that you're also aware of how I might react if that becomes a reality." "Painfully, sir." "Where the hell is Rabb?" "I believe you gave him the morning off, sir." "Why?" "He asked for it, sir?" "Tiner, do you consider me soft?" "Hardly, sir." "Just checking." " Don't look at me like that." " I'm not." " Where's the beer?" " We're out." "There was a six-pack in here this morning." "You drank it!" " No, don't." " You hid it from me, didn't you?" "Sarah, get your ass down here and take my shoes off now." "No, Sarah." "You stay in bed." "Damn it!" "Please." "No, don't!" "I'm sorry." "Why did I do that?" "Baby, are you all right?" " I'm okay, Joe." " Are you all right?" " God, I love you." "I just" " I know, Joe, I love you." "My God." "It's swelling." " It's okay, Joe." " Let me get some ice." "What's on your mind, commander?" "Well, sir, I was wondering if I could have the afternoon off." "This afternoon?" "I haven't forgotten that we're to be video conferencing with Admiral Drake." "I talked to Lieutenant Roberts." "As co-counsel, he's agreed to take my place, sir." "The lieutenant is new to the case." "I realise that, sir, but I can assure you he's on top of it." "Didn't I give you yesterday morning off?" "Yes, sir, you did." "And I appreciate it." " This is the follow-up, sir." " To what?" "To a medical procedure, sir." "Minor surgery." "I need the remainder of the day to recover." "I've asked the lieutenant to place the notes from the meeting on my desk." "I'll come in later and catch up." "Oh, so you spoke to him before you spoke to me?" "Sir, it's just that the doctor has an opening later today, and if I don't take this now, I'll have to wait six weeks." "Permission denied." " But, sir" " We're short-staffed, commander." "Major MacKenzie, Commander Brumby are on leave." " Admiral" " Why can't this wait?" "Well, I guess I'm just eager to have it done, sir." " Well, is your health in risk?" " I'd have to say no to that, sir." "Good God, it's not plastic surgery, is it?" "No, admiral." "It's my eyes, sir." "Does this have career implications?" "Well, sir, it gives me options." "Are you unhappy here, commander?" "I can assure you, admiral, this has nothing to do with JAG." "Go ahead." "Thank you, sir." "Major?" "Father Genaro." "Welcome." "Was your flight all right?" "It was fine." "About your father..." " I noticed he's asleep." " Well, actually" "Yeah, I should probably check into the hotel first anyway." "Maybe you can call me when he wakes up." "Sure." " Are there visiting hours?" " No." " You're allowed to be here at any time." " Okay, then." "Your father slipped into a coma just under an hour ago." " Will he come out of it?" " No, I don't think so." "I'm deeply sorry." "He would have wanted to see you." "I hope you can take comfort in the fact that you were here while he was still alive." "Saint Peter tells us:" "All flesh is as the grass, and all the glory of man as the flower of grass." "The grass withereth, and the flower thereof falleth away:" "But the word of the Lord endureth forever." "Major, are you all right?" " Major?" "No, no." " You can't do this to me." " You can't do this to me!" " Major, please!" " Nurse!" " Do you hear me?" "You can't die yet." "Do you hear me?" " Do you hear me?" " Major, please." "The satellite transmission's coming through, sir." "Good afternoon, admiral." "How are things aboard ship?" "Good afternoon, admiral, lieutenant." "Things are stretched to the limit by Kosovo." "But that's my headache." "Let's discuss yours." "Where's Rabb?" "The commander was unable to attend." "Lieutenant Roberts is co-counsel." "He's taking his place." " You're familiar with the case?" " Yes, sir." "Two seals and a Marine are charged with slaughtering 24 wild horses in Wyoming." "All three are pleading not guilty." "The commander and I are representing the two seals." "The Marine's family has retained a civilian attorney, sir." "Well, due to the particularly heinous nature of this crime," "I wanted to brainstorm ways of avoiding a sensational trial." "Any suggestions?" "Yes, sir." "Actually, I..." "What the hell?" "We've lost transmission, sir." "But you know that." " Get him back, Tiner." " Yes, sir." "I thought they fixed this damn thing." "They did, sir." "They finally located the problem at the inverse mux." "The what?" "The inverse multiplexing box that terminates the phone line." "It's where the ISDN PRI line enters the system, sir." "Okay, sir." "My suspicions were correct." "Things here are fine." "It must be the main fuse box." " Do you want some help?" " Please, sir." "Inverse mux." "Is there a problem, major?" "I put in my money, I pushed the button." "And nothing came out." " What did you want?" " Root beer." " Would cola suffice?" " No." "Why don't I send one of the nurses to a convenience store?" " What brand do you prefer?" " Don't send anyone." " How about a glass of iced tea?" " I don't drink it." " Lemonade." " Father." "I think we have one of those punch mixes in the kitchen." " I'll just go get it." " It's not about the drink." "I don't care about the drink." "Is that not clear to you?" " It is." " Then why are you asking?" "I'll give you anything if it gets you to stop kicking this machine." "People are dying here." "I'm sorry." " Would you like to talk about it?" " No." "Okay." "Well, I'm here and about." "If you change your mind and you can't find me, just holler." "No, don't do that." "Come find me, please." "I'll most likely be in my office at the end of the hall." "You know, Father, you don't have to worry about me." "I can control myself." "Good." "I'm glad you said that." "Not just for the patients, but for yourself as well." "I believe that time spent here can be useful." " Useful?" " In helping you accept certain things." "Many visitors and family members find they have issues that need resolving." "Certain feelings come up." "They find themselves frightened, confused." " Angry?" " Certainly." "I'm not angry." " You're not?" " I am furious." "My father was a first-class drunken son of a bitch." " Major, please." " He drove my mother away." "And he made my teenage years hell on earth." " Hell is only in the afterlife." " He had a rotten soul." "He didn't deserve to live as long as he did." "He hasn't passed yet." "Jesus said," ""Let not the sun go down upon your wrath."" "That may work for you, Father, not for me." "I'd like to book a flight to D.C." " Where does it stop over?" " You have to take a flight to Orlando." "Orlando?" "Are you kidding?" "That's the only way we can get you a flight." "How long a wait for a connecting flight?" "Oh, forget it." "I could walk there faster." " Is there anything else?" " Not until 3 tomorrow." "Okay, fine." "Three tomorrow." "I don't care." "Just get me out of here." "The fuse is blown, sir." "Do you have another?" "No, sir." "And the nearest electronics store is in Crystal City." "If I don't get this happening soon, the old man will kick my butt back to Norfolk." "Well, what are the alternatives?" "We bypass the fuse and tap into the emergency power supply." " The generator?" " It won't last long." "But it shouldn't compromise anything that's running." " You know how to do this?" " Yes, sir." "When I was in junior college," "I borrowed juice from the stadium's emergency unit." " You stole it?" " I had an uncompromising budget, sir." "Will we have enough time to complete the meeting?" "How fast do you talk, sir?" "I don't get it, Father." "I'm sorry?" "I can think of more productive things to do than try to save Joe MacKenzie's soul." "He's a child of God." "His soul belongs in heaven." "Will never happen." "Jesus forgives all who accept his love." "My father did that?" " Yes, just last week." " He was scared." "He was looking for a last-minute reprieve." "No, I believe it was genuine." "He was gripped by the Holy Spirit to the point of tears." "Now, if he could've done that when he was born, well, then we'd have something." "If you don't mind me asking, if you hate him this much, why did you come here?" "I do mind you asking." "I mind everything about you." "Your wimpiness, your naiveté, your sanctimony, your presumptions." "What makes you think that you can walk into the middle of a family and heal all wounds?" "There are scars there, Father, and what's left of my soul is covered in them." " Are you done yet?" " No." "Then go ahead." "I'm listening." "Don't turn the other cheek." "It just makes me wanna smack it." "You're right about your first observation." "I am a wimp." "That said, I'm less naive than I appear to be." "Sometimes I use that quality to get what I need." "You're wrong about the third point." "I don't presume anything." "Your father accepted our charity and the conditions upon which it is given." "Anyone coming in here should know that or they're naive." "And as for being sanctimonious..." "I prefer the term sanctified." "I trust in the love of Jesus to guide me." "If you don't, that's your problem." "I'm sorry." "You came here to find answers, right?" "I guess." "I know it may be hard for you to believe, but your father loved you very, very much." "I guess that's why he used to refer to me as his stupid tramp daughter." "He obviously didn't know how to express it." "The hostility came from a feeling of inadequacy." "He hated your boyfriends because they had your respect." "That sent him into a downward spiral." "His drinking got worse." "Much." "How long did you stay with him after your mother left?" "Two years." "My junior year in high school, I ran away." "Abandonment is a continuing theme in his life." "What do you know about the rest of it?" "Well, after his discharge from the corps, he played drums with a roadhouse band, travelled around a lot, was employed mostly as a security guard, tried opening a frozen-yogurt shop in Laughlin, Nevada." "It went under." "Spent two years in prison for tax evasion." "Had girlfriends on and off." "Most of them left at some point, except one." "And she killed herself." "Wait till Saint Peter takes a look at that résumé." "Well, that's why he wanted you and your mother here." "To acknowledge the presence of God, to apologise for his misspent life and to ask for your forgiveness." "You know what?" "I'm sick of hearing about his pain and his suffering." "What about my mother?" "What about what she went through?" "Where was God when he was smacking her across the room?" "Yeah, Father." "I would like to hear your answer." "Okay, sir." "Allow me to synopsise." "No leaks, no press briefings." "Comments should be restricted to the legal aspects." "Anything resembling a moral tone should be saved for the courtroom." "The investigators should do the same." " Correct." " Anything else, sir?" "No, that's fine." "Now what?" "We appear to have a power outage, sir." "Tiner..." "My poor feet." "Phlebitis." "Thank God for disability." "You're beautiful." "Even in that uniform." "I didn't join because of him." " Uncle Matt inspired me." " How is he?" "In Leavenworth, for stealing the Declaration of Independence." "You know, I stayed with him for a while." "I don't know anything, honey." "The first I heard about you was when I got a message from this priest." "He said you'd be here, which is why I came." "It certainly wasn't because of Joe MacKenzie." " I don't look too good, do I?" " No, just different." "I've only been heavy for the last few years." " I'm an embarrassment." " Please." "You must hate me." "The night I left was your 15th birthday." "You were at a sleepover at Cheryl's house, remember?" "Your father came home from the NCO Club, puked on the kitchen table and accused me of having an affair." "I tried to calm him down like usual." "This time, he put a paring knife to my throat." "He drew some blood and then told me he was gonna cut me up into little pieces and use me for rabbit food." "I took the threat seriously." "Where did you go?" "Portland." "I didn't plan it." "I just got on a bus and got off when it stopped." " What?" " You left me with him." " Did he hurt you?" " Not physically." "I know he picked on you and gave you a hard time." "But I also knew he never would've hurt you." "And that's what let me sleep at night." " Why didn't you try to contact me?" " I did." "On and off for the first month, but he always picked up the phone." "And a letter would've never gotten by him." "Yeah, but I left him after two years." "I was afraid that you'd be so angry that you wouldn't believe me." "And I was too fragile to handle the rejection." "And this time?" "This time I said to hell with it." "I'm gonna see my daughter." "How's it feeling?" "Everything's fuzzy." "Well, as it should be." "Now, what I'm gonna do is hold this retinal lens over your eyeball." "It provides magnification so that I can see the blood vessels under the retina." " Okay." " And then, we use the argon laser to destroy the mutants." "You won't feel anything, but you will see tiny pulses of light." "That's the laser firing at tenth-of-a-second intervals." " Are you nervous?" " No." "Then would you mind not tapping your foot?" " Sorry." " It's disconcerting." "What about music?" " You're gonna sing now?" " No, I brought a tape." "It's on the table." "Sure." "All right." "Hold steady." "Here we go." "He's passing." "Go to him." "Did your mother leave?" "She's in the bathroom." "Maybe you'd better get her." "Major, I don't know much, but I know a soul in torment when I see it." "He's not even conscious." "I'm not talking about him." "If you're looking for closure, forgiveness is the only way to shut down the pain." " It's too late." " Not for you." " I'm okay now." " The hell you are." "I don't know where that came from." "Father, you have other patients to care for." "Why is this one so important to you?" "Because he's not important to you." "It's his wallet." "Look at it, please." "He's been following your career, with pride I should add." "But you know what impressed him the most?" "That you were able to rise above his failure as a father." "Yeah?" "What, darling?" "It's time." "Would you come in with me?" "Honey, I can't." "I know how you feel." "You go in, I'll wait." "Are you sure?" "Do you have any hand cream or anything like that?" "Well, not so bad, huh?" " How did it go?" " It went fine." "Now, look, you're gonna experience some blurring." "Don't worry." "It won't last." "Are there more procedures?" "Don't anticipate it." "We'll see." "And if there's improvement, you should be good for at least a year." "Wait a minute." "This isn't permanent?" "Can be." "Relax." "You're getting ahead of yourself." "Well, when will we know?" "Well, aside from the scarring, you have a healthy ocular environment." "You should start seeing improvement within the next 12 hours." "Oh, I'm gonna have to ask you to control your enthusiasm." "There's something I never told you, doc." "It's a..." "As a result of this eye problem," "I crashed a $55-million aircraft onto the deck of a carrier." "My radar-intercept officer died in the accident." "Why do I need to know this?" "Because I'm beginning to think this whole thing was a fool's errand." "Who am I kidding?" "To think that I could ever have a shot at getting back up there." "Look, you're just suffering from postop anxiety." "You felt compelled to do this out of a desire to return to a skill that you once had mastered." "No one can fault you for trying to complete your dream." "His hand tightened before he went." "It was a squeeze." "He was thankful for your forgiveness." "Probably a muscle spasm." "Beyond this shore and the farther shore, beyond the beyond, where there is no beginning and no end, without fear, go." "Is that a Catholic verse?" "It's Buddhist." "Don't tell the monsignor." "I've never seen a priest cry." "I do it all the time." "Are you all right?" "I don't think so." "It'll take a while." "Yeah, I suppose." "This is a really good thing you're doing here." "Thank you." "Well, that took long enough." "You don't care, not even a little bit?" "I care." "I've been waiting for this all my life." "He got to you, didn't he?" " Would you hold me?" " Oh, baby." "Come here." "That's okay, baby." "It's okay." "Wow, I just had déjà vu." "I was upset and you were holding me." "I was crying over losing that big, white mutt." "What was his name?" "Ruggles?" "Ruggles." "That's right." "He ran away." "Wait." "No, it was Dad who was holding me." "It was you who ran away, and you took the dog with you, didn't you?" "He followed me, darling." "He was running alongside the bus." "I had to beg the driver to let him in." "I mean, I couldn't have taken him back." "No." "So I kept him." " He liked you." " Yeah." "He used to come to you with that rope in his teeth and you would swing him around the linoleum." " What happened to him?" " What?" "Ruggles." "Did he die?" "Oh, I'm sure." "It's been some 17-odd years." "You don't know?" "Oh, honey." "I travelled around so much, and I don't even know how it happened, really." "I was halfway to Utah when I realised I'd left him at a boarding house." "He was so big and so hard to travel with." "I didn't have a car." "And they loved him there." "I'm sure they took very good care of him." " What are you talking about?" " The dog." " He was left" " Abandoned." "Honey..." "You know, I've been thinking." "Joe MacKenzie was a confused and miserable drunk, but I left him." "He paid the bills and he tried to cook." "And he looked at my homework." "God, he even cleaned the house." "He made a home for me in his own pathetic way." "What I'm saying is that, that almost means more to me than you coming back after all these years." "Why should I care if you were frightened that I might reject you?" "You rejected me." "You abandoned me." "And I did the same thing to my father." "It's for the best, I guess." "If I'd been with you," "I probably would've woken up one morning to find you gone again." "You're right." "I'm sorry." "I've never been much good to anybody, not even myself." "Stop it." "I forgive you." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Where are you going?" "To bury my father." "Lieutenant?" "What's the word?" "Apparently, the main and the auxiliary switch boxes are fried, sir." " There's wax all over my desk." " I'll help you clean that up." "No, I don't want you to clean it up." "I want incandescent illumination." "I wish I could help you with that, sir." "Is Tiner with them?" "When last I looked, yes, sir." "Get me an ETR." "Right away, sir." "Harriet?" "Dadgum it." "Harriet?" "He caught me."