"My name is Don Juan DeMarco son of the great swordsman Antonio Garibaldi DeMarco tragically killed defending the honor of my mother the beautiful Doña Ines Santiago y San Martin." "I am the world's greatest lover." "I have made love to over a thousand women." "I was 21 last Tuesday." "Good evening, sir." "Good evening, Nicholas." "No woman has ever left my arms unsatisfied." "Only one has rejected me... and as fortune would have it... she's the only one who has ever mattered." "This is why... at 21..." "I have determined to end my life." "But first... one final conquest." "May i?" "Actually..." "I'm expecting a friend." "He should be here soon." "I will not linger." "I am Don Juan." "That's very funny." "Is there a costume party?" "No, i am Don Juan... directly descended from the noble Spanish family." "And you seduce women." "No, i never take advantage of a woman." "I give woman pleasure... if they desire it." "It is the greatest pleasure they will ever experience." "There are some women... fine-featured... a certain... texture to the hair, a curve to the ears, that sweeps like the turn of a shell." "these women... have fingers... with the same sensitivities as their legs." "The fingertips have the same feelings as their feet." "When you touch their knuckles, it is like passing your hands along their knees... and this... tender, fleshy part of their finger... is the same as brushing your hands around their thighs... and... finally..." "Every woman is a mystery to be solved... but a woman hides nothing from a true lover." "Her skin color can tell us how to proceed." "A hue like the blush of a rose, pink and pale... and she must be coaxed to open her petals... with a warmth like the sun." "The pale and dappled skin of the redhead calls for the lust... of a wave crashing to shore... to stir up what lies beneath... and bring the foamy delight of love to surface." "Although... no metaphor truly describes making love to a woman, the closet analogy is to playing a rare musical instrument." "i wonder:" "Does a Stradivarius violin feel... as enraptured as the violinist... when he coaxes a single, perfect note from its heart?" "Every true lover knows that the moment of greatest satisfaction... comes when ecstasy is long over... and he beholds before him... the flowers which has blossomed beneath his touch." "Sorry i'm late, it was unavoidable." "Hope you went ahead without me." "Oh well." "Now i must die." "THE BEACHES OF CANARY ISLANDS" "Unmask the Mysteries." "Evening, Jack." "How you doing, man?" "You're putting on weight." "We go to the same bakery." "Sorry to do this to you,." "but this is a job, only Super-shrink can handle." "e's a jumper to be reckoned with, i'm telling you." "What's the costume?" "He's Don Juan." ""He wishes to end his life... gloriously"." "He wants us... to send our finest swordsman... to do battle with him, preferably..." ""Don Francisco de Silva"." "Did he actually say this?" "I was up there." "How do you get in this?" "Over here." "You sure this is how Freud started?" "What do I know?" "i'm just a dumb cop." "You're the shrink." "Where is Don Francisco de Silva?" "I will fight none other." "Where is he?" "Don Francisco da Silva..." "Left for Mallorca... on this weekend but I am his uncle..." "Don Octavio de Flores." "This will not do." "I must die at the hands of Don Francisco." "I am Don Juan DeMarco." "You are the Don Juan?" "This is correct." "Why, with so many successes, does the great Don Juan wish to end his life?" "Because there is nothing left to live for." "Do you mean to say there is nothing at all?" "Not when... my Doña Ana is everything." "Her name is Doña Ana." "Now you understand why i must die." "I ask only that it be at the hands of Don Francisco... so it may be said i died in glory from a worthy opponent." "Don Juan, this young woman..." "Doña Ana, must be very special." "I would like so much to hear about her." "Have you never met a woman who inspires you to love... until your every sense is filled with her?" "You inhale her... you taste her... you see your unborn children in her eyes... and you know that your heart has at last found a home." "Your life begins with her... and without her it must surely end." "No doubt losing a love like this... can be very painful, but why lose hope along with life?" "Why lose everything?" "Don't forget, my friend... that the power of your love... the power of the love of Don Juan is determined... and will not be denied." "I apologize... for this unmanly display, Don Octavio." "Please." "I accept." "White male, age 21, brought in on a ten-day paper... after suicidal gesture... apparently precipitated by a... break-up of a relationship." "And the patient... indicates no previous history of suicides, no record of prior hospitalization." "There's no record of anything, school, jail... mother, father, parents, nothing." "And this kid is..." ""bizzako"... and is... severely delusional." "Believes he's somebody else." "Anybody we know?" "Name is Don Juan." "All right, okay." "I'm not kidding." "Let's settle down and..." "I'm always the bad boy." "Who wants him?" "Wait." "Don't be exasperated." "Wait a minute." "You're retiring." "Yes, but it would make a hell of a swan song." "This sound like a long term case, as you've described it." "I'll give it to Bill." "You got the time?" "One second." "I'd like to discuss this in some detail." "Can you talk about it later?" "Okay?" "I look forward to it." "I want this kid." "Be reasonable." "Jack..." "You're leaving in ten days." "So is the kid." "A delusional patient isn't cured in a week and a half." "When his 10-day paper expires he'll be committed... then he'll go to Bill anyway." "If this was a year ago... and i said i'd get him out in 10 days, there'd be no doubt." "Probably true..." "So that's not the real reason." "You've done it by the numbers for months." "You're burnt out." "That's why you asked to retire." "You don't need time to travel with Marilyn." "Don't make my life harder for me." "For 25 years we've been going around like this?" "Yes, and you're the best damn clinician this place has seen." "Everybody knows that." "But now it's time... time to get away." "Where you going?" "The pyramids?" "It's wonderful." "All that sand... sky, vistas, you'll have a wonderful time." "I wish you could see your face." "I'm giving him to Bill." "This kid will do a flamenco on Bill's head until it looks like a tortilla... and it'll be on your watch." "Would you like... to say why you attempted to kill yourself?" "You want Don Juan DeMarco, the world's greatest lover... to talk to you?" "What do you know of great love?" "Have you ever loved a woman... until milk leaked from her as though she'd just given birth to love itself... and now must feed it or burst?" "Have you ever tasted a woman... until she believed that she could be satisfied... only by consuming the tongue that had devoured her?" "Have you ever loved a woman so completely... that the sound of your voice in her ear... could cause her body to shudder and explode with such intense pleasure... that only weeping could bring her full release?" "Where is Don Octavio De Flores?" "Who?" "Who?" "My host at this villa." "Where is Don Octavio?" "Do you mean Dr. Mickler?" "Who?" "Why do you think that Dr. Mickler... is Don Octavio de Flores?" "Why do you think Don Octavio is Dr. Mickler?" "Hello there, Willy." "How are you?" "Don Octavio de Flores?" "I just said..." "You said you were Don Octavio!" "Oh, Jesus." "You told a delusional patient... you were a 17th century Spanish nobleman." "To get him in the bucket." "Well, he's all yours, Don." "Wait a minute, did you tell Paul?" "You bet i did." "And what did he say?" "His exact words were," ""Jack broke it, let him fix it"." "Kind of you to show me the way." "Yeah, come on in." "I've brought..." "Mr. Juan here for his appointment." "Thank you, Gloria." "I can return and see him back." "It's okay, i'll do it." "It's really no trouble." "I'll be passing by this door in exactly one hour." "Gloria." "Thank you." "I have a break." "Thanks a lot." "No problem." "What are you doing to these girls?" "Gosh almighty." "Your people took my mask, Don Octavio." "They had no right." "I never remove my mask in public." "Do you understand the consequences of this?" "Not fully, but..." "I will be cursed." "I can certainly understand how that could be upsetting." "How would you feel if you had to take off your mask?" "Our mask really get us in Dutch, don't they?" "How long have you had yours?" "Since i was 16." "I placed it on my face and vowed never to remove it, the day I left my mother, the dark beauty Doña Ines." "I have some pills here." "I'd like you to take them, they'll help." "Pills to stop delusions?" "Then i am afraid we must take these pills together... because... you are severely deluded." "What delusions have i got?" "This fantasy that you are some..." "Dr. Mickler." "I'm very disappointed in you." "Very disappointed." "Here's the drill." "They can make you take medication." "That's State law." "You're on what they call a 10-day paper." "For those 10 days they can do..." "whatever they think appropriate." "I am not deluded." "I am Don Juan." "If you will not medicate me for these days, i'll prove it to you." "Alright." "What if i don't believe you're Don Juan?" "Then i will take your medication... and you may commit me for as long as you like." "Do we have an agreement?" "May i tell you my story?" "Very well." "I was born in Mexico." "It became evident from a very early age... that i was somehow different." "I, myself... slowly began to realize that my play was not like that of the other boys." "By the time I was 10, the attraction females had for me was concerning my mother." "She presented me to God... to save me before it was too late." "Apparently... it was too late." "The lessons i learned in church were not without value." "By the time i was 12," "I understood the obligation the Lord spoke of to share one's blessings with those less fortunate." "One night..." "I watched Doña Querida at the window in her slip." "I noticed how a woman's underclothing barely touches her skin... how it rides on a cushion of air... how the silk floats about her body, brushing her flesh... like an angel's wings... and i understood how a woman must be touched." "Are you Italian," "Mexican or Spanish?" "That is all you have to say?" "What is my nationality?" "No." "Your name is DeMarco, that's italian." "You were brought up in Mexico and you speak English, with a Castilian accent." "My accent has been colored by my many travels." "Very well, i will answer." "I was raised in Mexico." "My father was born in Queens." "Tony DeMarco." "He was Italian." "The Dance King of Astoria." "Excuse me." "Your father was a dance king... here in New York City, in Astoria?" "My father came to Mexico to work for a pharmaceutical company." "He had just gotten off the bus and was walking... to a nearby hacienda to rent a room, when he first saw my mother." "Both her parents died from an illness." "My mother was stronger." "She survived and took over their plantation." "Sitting in the sunlight... the bright rays lighting her hair, she was so beautiful... that, at first, my father could not believe his eyes." "It was love at first sight." "They held each other in the moonlight, kissing and touching dancing until morning." "I thought you said your mother was standing in the sunlight." "My father story." "My mother says it was at night." "They were married the next week." "My father took the name Don Antonio... and became "el patron", running the coffee plantation." "Their love was like a perfect prayer." "Even God could not deny it." "I was born exactly nine months later." "I said, "Jim, let me try to understand." "You have been exploring our car for six days now, and have no idea why the radiator keeps running out of fluid." "So we get the car just as broken as when we brought it in." "Except now you want $430 for the time it took you not to figure out what's wrong." "Know what did he said?" ""We can keep looking if you want, Mrs. Mickler... but it's $65 an hour"." "Well, I don't know, pay the guy." "Pay it?" "Where were you just now?" "Down in Mexico." "I was looking for you." "A little springtime." "Excuse me, Nurse." "Tulips for me?" "Grace, i'm sorry." "Why tulips, Jack?" "I want to discuss the kid." "What's the occasion for tulips?" "The hell of it." "This kid is fantastico." "I'm glad he meets your expectations." "There's something i want to discuss." "I know." "Let me tell you what he did." "Wait, Jack." "When will you start medicating Don Juan?" "He's been here 2 days." "You do intend to give him medication?" "I don't know." "Wait." "He's a delusional patient." "Meds?" "If i give him medication..." "I'll never get into this world... he's in and it's a wonderful world." "No meds." "Temporarily." "If you do one thing for me." "What?" "Well, right now..." "Don Juan has a distracting influence on the female staff." "His hacienda... has more nurses on Valium than patients." "Would you do something?" "I took care of it, dear man." "Don't worry." "Time for your shrink." "Who are you?" "I'm your new nurse, Mr. Compton... but call me "Rocco", Casanova." "I am not Casanova." "I am Don Juan." "Yeah, right." "Come on, man." "Come in." "Doc, Don Juan." "Hi, Rocco." "Thank you." "Got a real treat for you today." "Here are her nipples... and here's her pubis." "Her lover is kissing the contours of her bottom... just where it folds onto her upper thighs." "Why not move on to something else?" "Like what, Don Octavio?" "Why don't we talk about... who i am?" "Yes, i know who you are." "Who?" "Don Octavio de Flores, the uncle of Don Francisco de Silva." "And where are we, here?" "I haven't seen a deed, but assume the villa is yours." "What would you say to someone that said to you this is a psychiatric hospital and that you're a patient here and that i am your psychiatrist?" "He has a limited, uncreative way of looking at the situation." "You want to know if I understand this is a mental hospital." "Yes, i understand that." "But then how can i say that you are Don Octavio... and i am a guest at your villa?" "By seeing beyond what is visible to the eye." "Of course, some do not share my perceptions, it's true." "When i say that all my women are.." "dazzling beauties, they object." "This one's nose is too large... another's hips are too wide, perhaps the breast... of a third, they are too small." "But i see these women for how they truly are:" "Glorious... radiant, spectacular... and perfect because I am not limited by my eyesight." "Women react to me that way, because they sense that i search out the beauty that dwells within them until it overwhelms everything else." "They cannot avoid their desire... to release that beauty and envelop me in it." "To answer you..." "I see as clear as day that this... great edifice... is your villa, it is your home... and as far for you, Don Octavio de Flores, you are a great lover like myself... though you may have lost your way... and your accent." "Shall i continue?" "Very well." "Back to Mexico." "My mother, God bless her, does not give up easily." "When i was 16, she made one last attempt to give me Christian values in me... by finding me a tutor." "My mother's judgement left something to be desired." "Doña Julia was 23 and married, the faithful and devoted wife of Don Alfonso... a man of fifty." "It was no secret, she would've been better served by... two men of 25." "Glorify God in your body and your spirit... which are God's. "" "My feelings consumed me day and night." "I felt within me... a burning wound... a yearning... combined with the most indescribable bliss... but what was it?" "And you had no idea what it was?" "I had an idea, but... nothing definite." "My father, understanding that manhood was nearly upon me, began to teach me how to use my sword." "So a lot of sword fighting went on when you were growing up?" "It was a small, isolated town that resisted modern technology." "Advance." "Lunge." "I notice that the smile... on Doña Julia's face was gone." "It had been replaced by a sadness even sweeter than the smile." "I sensed she had a struggle within her... and my own situation was becoming no less difficult." "I could only think of Doña Julia." "To keep myself from going mad..." "I turned into a metaphysician." "I considered the meaning of the truth... of being... and God." "I thought of the timetable for the sun's demise... and then of Doña Julia's eyes." "I never will consent." "I never will consent." "I never will consent." "But somehow, she consented." "She did." "Then suddenly i was hit with a revelation:" "The way a woman's body is made, the way a man's body responds, the fire burning in my loins, the intense desire to merge as one... it all came together... in one brilliant flash." "There are only four questions of value in life." "What is sacred?" "Of what is the spirit made?" "What is worth living for?" "And what is worth dying for?" "The answer to each is the same." "Only love." "Doña Julia... was my first love." "Well," "I see our time is up." "The mask?" "Obsessive compulsive disorder... with eroto-manic features." "Confirm... delusional disorder." "Confirm depression with... obsessional features." "Possible hysterical personality." "I take it you want to go upstairs." "What gave you that idea?" "Why are you listening to opera?" "You hate opera." "You have very... very beautiful eyes." "Come here." "You know, i have to go upstairs and... take my calcium so my bones don't break into pieces... my aspirin, so my heart doesn't clog up... my Metamucil, so I don't get colon cancer... and my estrogen to convince my body... that i'm still 23." "Come here." "What are you doing in there?" "Rain check?" "No, no." "I was thinking about our adolescence." "There isn't any transitional battleground left for us anymore." "I just feel as thought we've surrendered our lives to the momentum of mediocrity." "What happened to all the celestial fire... that used to light our way?" "Jack, no, listen, honey." "All those fires are a lot of trouble." "They caused trouble, are hard to control, they flare up they burn a lot of energy... and then suddenly die." "I'll tell you, that's bullshit because..." "No, it's not bullshit." "A good, steady, warm, glow... that does the trick over long run." "No fire... no heat." "No heat, no life." "That's the equation." "No, no Jack." "May i assume that... this means you won't ease gracefully into retirement?" "Goddamn right, baby." "What will i retire from?" "Life?" "We haven't started yet." "It's a 12 rounder, this is round 3... and you and i will go out of here like Halley's comet." "I can't." "Listen." "What is going on?" "You've been funny lately." "I don't know." "Come on, you must tell me, Jack." "It's no secret." "I don't know." "I've been feeling..." "I've been treating this kid lately." "He thinks he's Don Juan and he's got a costume." "He's got a sword and a mask and..." "And so who is he really?" "I don't know." "But he's... he's getting to me." "Goddamn. you're a great broad, really." "I know." "This is going to be a good one." "Jesus, not there, honey." "Wait, i'm sorry." "What is that?" "Your hair comb?" "It's got teeth." "I don't want to be injured." "At every instant we fell into each other's arms." "Time stopped for those four months." "There was neither day or night, just my love and hers." "As for Don Alfonso... he was away so much handling his business, that i could almost live in Doña Julia's house." "I truly believed I had found everlasting paradise... until one night..." "Doña Julia... my sweet bird!" "Where is he?" "Where did you hide him?" "For God sake... are you having a drunken fit?" "How dare you!" "Merely the thought of infidelity would kill me." "Yes, search... and search and search." "Heap insult on insult." "You ungrateful, purgerous, barbarous man." "Are you quite satisfied now?" "I will kill this man." "My sword." "Where is my sword?" "He's going to kill me." "He'll kill me." "Quick, out the garden gate." "I will kill you." "It was the last i was ever to see of my tutor... the lovely Doña Julia." "In remorse, she left that night and was never heard of again." "Don Alfonso was humiliated that he had been cuckolded by a 16-year old boy... so to retaliate, he announced publicly... that he'd had an affair for many years with my mother." "It was, of course, a boldfaced and terrible lie." "My father quickly defended my mother's virtue." "No doubt... my father would've prevailed but for one fatal mistake." "He looked up at my mother's eyes, and it was too late." "Antonio..." "No, Juan!" "I will lose them both!" "You have killed my father." "Now you must kill me." "Of course i forgive you." "You are my son." "And so it was that my father... the great swordsman Don Antonio... died in my mother's arms... as our tears fell upon him." "That evening, to hide my shame forever," "I placed the mask upon my face... and vowed never to remove it in the presence of another." "My father left me too soon." "Don Octavio." "I never had the chance..." "Oh, great." "Are you Dr. Mickler?" "Right." "Sign here." "Would you hold that for a sec?" "Hello, dear." "So, Jack, what's the occasion?" "Excuse me, madam." "You're the occasion." "No, really." "Are you sure... there's no..." "Beautiful." "Excuse me." "Where's Rocco?" "He has moved to Madrid." "Madrid?" "Spain?" "Then he feels so guilty, he feels so overcome with shame... that he puts on this mask... and he vows never... to take his mask off again." "Is that perfect myth or not?" "It's wonderful." "It's wonderful story." "This kid is remarkable." "You're right." "And it is exactly like a Greek myth." "The son becomes potent... sexually active..." "Leads to the destruction of his father, who he replaces." "He must some day, to become a man but the guilt... of replacing a man who loved him and gave him life is too great." "It's enormous." "So he must hide it by wearing a mask." "It's time to put the kid on meds." "You want to drive this kid nuts?" "Fill him full of... anti-psychotic chemicals... and in 48 hours you'll have a nut case you'll never forget for the rest of your life." "He is schizophrenic." "He is not Don Juan." "How do you know he's not?" "I've been with him." "I know." "Did he ever tell you in a session he was living with his grandmother, in Queens?" "I haven't..." "Has he mentioned it?" "gotten into those details." "I got a call from the department." "Please, Jack... put the boy on medication." "Paul, you don't understand..." "Jack, please." "Take it easy." "He is your patient." "You got five days." "I am pissed off at you." "And don't forget, barbecue Saturday." "Really pissed off." "Mrs. DeMarco?" "Dr. Mickler." "We spoke on the phone, about your grandson." "I wanted..." "Doña Ana." "He waits for the mailman every day Like he's delivering cannoli." "The boy's convinced he's found his one true love." "He's worse than his father," "Tony the Dance King of Astoria." "This is his father?" "He won a prize for dancing?" "You never heard of him?" "Did his father sell pharmaceuticals?" "Tony couldn't sell a boat to a drowning man." "He worked for a dry cleaning concern." "He did drapes and sofas." "Is his father still alive?" "Didn't Johnny tell you?" "Tony died... in a terrible car crash." "It was five years ago." "In Mexico." "In Phoenix." "They never lived in Mexico?" "Never." "Where is his mother?" "I couldn't tell you." "We were never what you might call close." "How often did you see your grandson when he was growing up?" "Only once." "Johnny was six." "Do you mean that's the only time... you saw Johnny in your entire life?" "Until three months ago." "I open the door... and there was Zorro." "Chelsea Stoker." "Your grandmother has the bizarre impression... that your name is John Arnold DeMarco... you grew up in Phoenix, Arizona... and your father died in a car crash." "Interesting fantasy." "But i suppose if it makes her happy, it is harmless enough." "She also said that your father worked at a... dry cleaners." "You want me to tell a crazy story like hers so you'll think i am sane." "If that's what it takes to get me out of here, i'll do it." "But a rumor says you're supposed to be a psychiatrist." "I heard it." "Can you not tell when you meet a woman who's insane?" "Are you saying that your grandmother made this all up?" "In so many words, yes." "She hated my mother." "It's not unusual because she hated everybody." "So we stayed as far away from her as possible." "In Phoenix, Arizona." "In Mexico." "You never lived in Phoenix, Arizona?" "I never lived in Phoenix, Arizona." "What about your father's death?" "I have told you how my father died, Don Octavio." "I won't take it, I just want to point out that it says she's Chelsea Stoker." "They never use their real names." "She is really my Doña Ana." "Trying to teach me a lesson." "You know, i..." "I once treated a young man, about your age... and he fell in love, with a girl on a poster." "He was very insecure about women... and he tried to contact her." "He must have called... the magazine 100 times... till somebody at the magazine... pitied him and gave him a number." "He called." "They had a one minute conversation and she let him know... she never wanted to speak to him again." "Then what?" "He tried to kill himself." "Doña Ana is real, Don Octavio." "Want to hear about her?" "I suppose so." "Shortly after the death of my father... my mother decided that it would be the best to send me to Cadiz... as though a voyage at sea would purify me." "She herself had determined to take her vows... at the convent of Santa Maria, where she is a nun to this day." "I was being sent forth..." "Like a dove of promise." "What my mother never knew was the ship... was run by scoundrels." "Instead of Cadiz... they set sail... for an obscure Arabian Sultanate, where the passengers were immediately sold into slavery." "You were sold into slavery in a..." "sultan's kingdom?" "That's correct." "I was purchased... by 1 of 4 wives of a sultan and led off by her eunuch." "I had no idea why i was made to dress as a female." "My mask was replaced by a mask of another sort... so i supposed i was still keeping the vow I made to hide my face." "The Sultan had a harem... of fifteen hundred young women... so his demands on his wives were relatively minor." "I was presented to the Sultana." "I still did not know why I was required to be in drag." "You may rise." "And you my go." "You may stay." "Slowly..." "I began to develop a theory... why i was brought to the Sultana..." "But, i still loved Doña Julia." "I am sorry." "I love another." "Undress!" "Kill me if you must." "I am prepared to die, for I cannot go on living... knowing that i defiled the memory of the woman... who brought my manhood alive and made it sing." "It sings?" "I was prepared to lose my life... rather than debase my love." "How could i be unfaithful to my dear Doña Julia... who had nearly given up her life to love me?" "How could i sleep with another woman... after giving myself body and soul... to my sweet Doña Julia?" "How could i forsake the purity of love..." "I had with my flower," "Doña Julia?" "I was surprised at how easy the past can be overcome." "My friend, until this afternoon i have always believed a man could love only one woman." "I've been badly misled." "It's absolutely incredible... that a few hours ago Doña Julia was the only woman who existed... and now... there is the magnificence of Sultana Gulbeyaz." "What a glorious body, breast..." "Will you shut up?" "Suddenly..." "I was truck by the danger of my situation." "I prayed they'd found a place to hide me... where the Sultan couldn't find me." "As fortune would have it... their solution was a brilliant one." "It was God's canvas... in all its natural beauty." "For the next 2 years... my days were spent with the Sultana" "And yours nights?" "With the 1500 young women of the Sultan's harem." "Come." "Come to me, my little cockatoo." "At the end of 2 years, i noticed..." "I didn't have the same enthusiasm as before." "This could be a problem." "You may rise, my little dove." "Oh, well... all good things must come to an end." "Gulbeyaz, sensing the danger to us both, arranged for me to depart within the hour." "I had learned to love in 1000 ways, each a lesson in the soul of a woman." "I knew i would miss every one of them." "They stole on my spirit... and infused me with joy, like a May day breaking." "I would like... to hear this in detail... but there's something that i must do now... so i wonder if we could continue this tomorrow." "Of course." "Thank you." "You're early." "How would you feel about coming upstairs?" "Go!" "Wait a sec." "Over here." "What happened?" "You're no good at all." "I am too good." "I've got 3." "I got three." "Well..." "When is my turn?" "I got five." "I know." "You're better than me." "Did you get it?" "Yes!" "Last but not least, the moment we've all been waiting for," "Don Juan DeMarco." "In respect to that, i want to say that..." "I've got a meeting with the kid... later on and i think that it might be definitive." "This isn't a treatment conference." "This is a disposition conference." "We must know what to do when his 10-day paper expires." "Do we ask to commit him?" "Do we let him go?" "What?" "I won't know until i have the meeting with the kid." "He's a suicidal patient." "He's not suicidal." "It was a call for help." "Do you suggest we let him go?" "No." "Alright." "Then Monday we'll get the judge here for a hearing." "And we'll transfer him to another therapist, because that's your last day, Jack." "You think you're up to it?" "If he's on medication, i could." "He'll be on medication." "Alright." "I'll give him... 100 mg of Prozac." "And Bill can decrease it once he's less anxious about being attacked..." "by his patients." "Tell him to stop." "And if he refuses?" "We restrain him and inject it?" "I'll get him to take the medication." "What's the big concern here?" "He hasn't been assaultive." "i must go." "No." "One more piece of business." "Okay, we're ready." "For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow." "Which nobody can deny!" ""Today is the first day of the rest of your life"." "Come in." "I am Doña Ines," "Don Juan DeMarco's mother." "May i come in, Don Octavio?" "Please." "I came when the Archdiocese de Mexico City told me my son called them." "What is wrong with him?" "I'm very grateful, Sister, that you've come... at this strange moment in time... because there is so much crucial information i need in order to help your son." "How can i be of help?" "For instance, is it a fact that your son grew up... with you and your husband in a small town in Mexico?" "San Luis Coatzalcoalcos." "Near Izucar de Matamoros." "Have you heard of it?" "Not many have, it's very small." "To help your son, i have to have some information." "I need to know about Don Alfonso, about his father, Don Antonio, and about your relationship with both of them." "It would be best if you discussed these things with my son." "My vows don't allow me to talk about certain aspects of my past." "Sister, i don't think" "I've been making myself clear." "I've been to see your son's grandmother." "She tells me that neither you nor your son ever lived in Mexico." "She said you met Tony in Queens, New York, and until recently she said she saw her grandson only once in her life, in Phoenix, Arizona." "She also said that 5 years ago... your husband died in a car crash." "Now, in addition..." "I'm sorry, but you must understand, Sister, that i need to know the truth." "The truth is inside you, Don Octavio." "I cannot help you find that." "Isn't she exactly as i described her, Don Octavio?" "Yeah." "Exactly." "Doña Julia has become a nun at the same convent." "So it seems." "I told my mother she could leave, but i'll miss her." "She has a way of putting me in touch with what's real." "Why are you so certain... she didn't have an affair with Don Alfonso?" "My mother was not having an affair." "You understand how the thought might have occurred to me, given the way your father died." "It's never been clear to me what your mother meant when she cried out:" ""I'll lose both of them!"" "Did she mean her husband and her son?" "Or both her lovers?" "My mother... was not having an affair." "Do you understand why it's necessary..." "Stop!" "You don't think i know what's going on?" "You need me... for a transfusion because your blood has become dust and clogged your heart." "Your need for reality, for a world where love is flawed, will choke you until all the life in you is gone." "My perfect world is no less real than yours, Don Octavio." "It is only in my world that you can breathe." "Isn't it?" "You're right." "My world... is... not perfect." "What happens with age?" "Why does everyone want to pervert love and suck it dry of all its glory?" "Why call it love anymore?" "This will be our... last session." "I'm retiring on Monday." "Then i'll tell you about Doña Ana." "You decide if i should be free." "On the second day, after i left the Sultana, our ship was caught in a typhoon." "I alone survived." "After days drifting at sea," "I found myself on the island of Eros." "She was 17... and Nature's bride, fresh and fair, and unacquainted with the miracle of physical love." "Her beauty was not made of shapes and forms, but shined from within, like a star." "Some people do not believe that a single soul, born in heaven, can split into twin spirits and shoot, like stars to earth, where over oceans and continents their magnetic forces will finally unite them back into one." "But how else to explain love at first sight?" "We were convinced that there was no other life beneath the sky but ours." "We believed... that we would never die." "You must promise me that we'll be together for all time," "that we'll live on this beach... always... and that should circumstance ever separate us," "it is here we will come... to wait all eternity... for the other to return." "I love you." "Promise me." "I promise." "One day," "I asked her to be mine." "I love you too much, but i cannot love you any less." "It's of no great consequence, but... will you wear your mask throughout our lives together?" "I have sworn to do so." "Then tell me what led you to make such a vow." "I told her the sad story of my Doña Julia, never guessing that my Doña Ana believed I had saved myself for her, as she had for me." "Very well, my love." "I'll accept i'm not the first if you'll tell me, with the same honesty, how many others there have been." "This would been a very good time to lie, but truth... is a terrible habit." "Including you, there have been" "exactly one... thousand... five hundred and two." "I could see... that this was a sum substantially greater... that the one she had in mind, and not easy to assimilate, try as she might." "As her pain struck at my heart like a dagger," "I begged to be forgiven." "I removed my mask as a gesture of remorse but my it was to no avail." "To hide her humiliation, she took off the mask and left me forever." "So my adventures came to an end, also ending the chance that one day, like my father," "I would die in the arms of the woman i loved." "Who am i?" "Sit down." "You are..." "Don" "Juan" "DeMarco, the world's greatest lover." "And you, my friend,... who are you?" "Who am i?" "I am Don Octavio de Flores, married to the beautiful" "Doña Lucita, the light of my life." "And you, my friend... you have seen through all of my masks." "Here's you water, Doctor." "You said that you believed, Don Octavio." "I believe that you are Don Juan, but a lot of people don't." "Then i'll do as you ask, my friend." "You're retiring on Monday." "So what will we do?" "We're going to get airborne." "I'll tell you something:" "i like it here." "I like my garden." "We need to be a flight of eagles." "I don't see myself in that picture." "What are you talking about?" "I don't know." "I need to find out who you are." "Jack, you know who i am." "Who's brought you coffee for the last 32 years?" "I know about dirty coffee cups and i know a lot of facts, but i need to know all about you." "What?" "I want to know... what your hopes and your dreams are that got lost along the way while i was thinking about myself." "What's so funny?" "Thought you'd never ask." "Hey, Doc." "Good morning." "Do you know why you're here?" "Okay, then." "I'd like you to tell me about yourself, where you grew up, what made you want to kill yourself, how you feel now." "I was born in... in Queens." "Me and my parents moved to Phoenix when i was a kid." "I hated it." "When i was sixteen, my father was killed in a car accident outside of town." "My mother... had been having these affairs and my father knew." "She felt so guilty, she decided to become a nun." "So, within three weeks of my father's death, she was in a convent somewhere in Mexico." "There i was." "I had nowhere to go." "I didn't know what to do." "So one day i was... looking at this magazine," "and there was this centerfold, and i knew she wouldn't go for me, the way that i was, so then i... i'd been reading a book, this book, and i... i decided to become Don Juan." "So, i called up the magazine." "They wouldn't help me or give me any information." "So, i was about to give up and... one day I reached this woman who worked there." "I think she was a temp, or something." "The woman took pity on me and gave me the girl's number." "So i called her up." "I said that we were meant to be together and... she called me a creep and then she hung up." "I just decided that my life was over,... so i was going to kill myself." "Or at least I'd make people believe i would so i could get some attention." "I never really had any intention of killing myself." "Thank you." "This has been very helpful." "They'll take you to your room." "Doctors, this seems like a perfectly normal kid to me." "I've had a couple of... centerfold fantasies." "I won't... commit him for his." "Your Honor, his behavior..." "Let him go." "Thank you very much." "As his doctor, i concur with your views." "I will call you later and thank God for medication." "Have a wonderful vacation." "Bill, Nurse." "As head of the hospital, let me speak." "My name... is Don Octavio de Flores." "I am the world's greatest psychiatrist." "I have cured over a thousand patients." "Their faces linger in my memory like summer days." "But none more so than Don Juan DeMarco." "So it was not so insane that we all found ourselves... on an airplane, flying to the island of Eros." "It was like... the Garden before the Fall." "Everything seemed possible." "How does our fable end?" "His Doña Ana, his centerfold,... was she... waiting all eternity on the beach for him to return, as they'd promised each other?" "Why not?" "Sadly, i must report... that the last patient I ever treated, the great lover," "Don Juan DeMarco, suffered from a romanticism... which was completely incurable." "And even worse... highly contagious."