"Captions synched for the Hearing Impaired to:" "The.Green.Hornet.R5.XViD.TOXiC.iNK" "* = Music or songs." "Lovingly cooked by *Bake Master*" "*Heroic music*" "(Elevator dings)" "Operator:" "Daily Sentinel, one moment please." "(Telephones ringing)" "Man on Telephone:" "The mayor doesn't want the article on gas prices to go to edition until after the next quarter." "Tell the Mayor, I'm insulted." "I would never jeopardize the journalistic integrity of this newspaper, for some rent-a-mayor's political agenda." "Man on Telephone:" "Very well Mr. ...(Cut's off phone call)" "So, Britt." "Here we are again." "Sent home after another school yard fight." "I know you miss your mother." "So do I." "But I have to take care of 750 employees, and you have to take care of yourself." "Still that seems to be asking....to much." "I was trying to stop some bullies..." "Trying doesn't matter when you always fail." "No, Dad!" "Do you think it makes me happy to do this?" "YES!" "(Sobs)" "No it doesn't." "There's not a week goes by when you find yourself in some kind of trouble." "But if you're doing this for attention, you have all that I can afford to give you." "And you're wasting my time." "20 years later..." "(Sound of people talking)" "Bouncer:" "No, no, not you." "Man:" "Have a seat." "Man:" "Either one, they're both very comfortable." "So what can I do for you?" "As you know, I have worked my entire life, very hard... to achieve one goal." "Ah, huh." "And that goal, which I have in fact, achieved." "Was to be in charge of all the crime, in the city of Los Angeles." "Therefore, the fact that you assume that you can open this establishment, without my permission, without payment, and sell narcotics out of it." "Is completely unacceptable." "Really?" "And to be honest." "Quite insulting." "Therefore, you must sign over ownership of this establishment to me." "For which time you become my employees." "What, we're...we're your employees?" "Yeah, or close down permanently." "The choice is yours." "Okay, uh, how do I pronounce your name?" "Ch..." "Tchaikovsky." "Chudnofsky." "Char...chadost...chod dosky." "Chud...nof...sky." "Chudnofsky." "All right, Chudnofsky." "Kiss my ass." "Man:" "Put your lips to my ass, and kiss it." "French kiss it." "Tickle it with your grey whiskers." "I got bitter sweet news for you." "You're washed up." "You're old, you're boring, you're not scary." "You dress like shit." "It's over for you, okay." "That's the bitter news." "Now the sweet news is, you can retire." "You can go play golf." "Eat your dinners at 3 O'clock in the afternoon." "Play with your grandkids, drink Metamucil." "Old people shit." "Okay, look at me." "I got a name people can say." "My name's Danny Clear." "I deal crystal meth." "People call me, Crystal-Clear." "It's easy." "Check out my kick-ass hangout here." "I got pillars of glass everywhere." "I got a see-through piano." "Look at my boys." "They're pimped out." "We got Gucci, Armani, another Gucci." "Tailor made." "This is what you need to get to the top, today." "Not hard work." "Not dressing like disco-Santa-Claus." "You need charisma." "You look like my Uncle Gregg." "Very nice guy, but, he's a dentist." "Danny:" "Now consider this your retirement letter." "Boom!" "It's over." "See your way out." "Well you truly don't think I'm scary?" "Nah, no." "Okay, o...kay, you're scary!" "Yeah, you're scary." "You just said I'm not." "No, no you are." "You are." "What's a Disco-Santa?" "Disco-Santa, I don't know." "I'm sorr.., I'm sorry." "It was just something stupid to say." "You said I'm boring too." "My gun has two barrels." "That's not boring." "And it was very difficult to make." "(Shouts) Answer me!" "What?" "Well what can I do to be more scary?" "A better name?" "A cooler name?" "A little more color, or something." "Ah, um...." "Maybe...maybe, maybe you could say something to people before you kill them." "But not now." "It's hard to think with this double barrel in my face." "Sorry." "You've given me a lot to think about." "Danny:" "You're not going to kill me?" "Okay I get it." "You keep me alive so I can, I can spread your legend." "Okay, I'll do that, man." "I'll spread your legend." "Danny:" "And you forgot your briefcase." "(High pitched beep)" "(Glass breaking)" "Britt:" "Let's get this party crazy." "*Rolling Stones:" "Live with me*" "*I got nasty habits,*" "YEAH!" "*I take tea at three*" "*Yes, and the meat I eat for dinner time*" "*Must be, hung up for a week*" "*My best friend, he shoots water rats And feeds them to his geese*" "*Don'cha think there's a place for you In between the sheets?" "*" "*Come on now, honey We can build a home for three*" "*Come on now, honey,*" "*Don't you wanna live with me?" "*" "Britt:" "Behold my lady." "*And there's a score of harebrained children*" "*They're all locked in the nursery*" "*They got earphone heads they got dirty necks*" "*They're so 20th century*" "*Well they queue up for the bathroom*" "*'Round about 7:35*" "*Don'cha think we need a woman's touch to make it come alive?" "* (Sound of grinder, and steam)" "*You'd look good pram pushing Down the high street*" "(Loudly slurps coffee)" "Mmmmm." "(Whispers) That's the good stuff." "(Whispers) Man." "(Slurps)" "Good morning." "Oll-live-oil?" "Ana Lee." "Ana Lee, that's what I meant." "(Says under breath) Oh shit." "Son, this what you want from your life?" "James Reid:" "This, uh." "This gives you a sense of fulfillment?" "Dad, I told you tomorrow," "I'm enrolling in I.T.T. Technical Institute." "And I'm going to fix computers for a living, so I..." "Hey!" "I spend all night writing an editorial about the nausea this town has come to inspirer." "About the corruption, the violence, and the decadence that we've come to expect as part of our daily life." "Then I have to turn the page... and see my own son's contribution to this mayhem." "Ana Lee:" "Sweet, I'm in the paper." "James:" "Now you may think you're humiliating me." "Britt:" "Oy." "You're humiliating yourself." "Okay, I'm sorry." "Look, if you don't like it, why don't you ask them not to print it." "It's your newspaper." "I can't because unfortunately it's news." "I've kept myself out the papers for years, now do me a favor and do the same." "And I told you, stop taking girls into my garage." "You do it again, I'll change the lock." "Ana Lee:" "Okay, but can you sign this for me?" "Britt:" "Yeah." "Never...stop...the party." "(Wild birds singing)" "(Bees buzzing)" "*Digital Underground:" "The Humpty Dance I look funny, but yo I'm makin' money see* *so yo world I hope you're ready for me." "Now gather round*" "*I'm the new fool in town and my sound's laid down by the Underground.*" "*I drink up all the Hennessey ya got on ya shelf so just let me introduce myself*" "*My name is Humpty, pronounced with a Umpty." "Yo ladies, oh how I like to hump thee.*" "Female Reporter:" "Bring it in, I think we may have our first photo of Britt Reid." "Female Reporter:" "Go, go, go, go." "Hello." "Get it, get the shot, get it." "How are you coping with your father's death?" "Television reporter:" "If you're just joining us," "James Reid has been found dead from an allergic reaction to a bee sting." "Leaving his son, his media empire." "*Johnny Cash:" "I hung my head Early one morning, with time to kill.*" "*I borrowed Jebb's rifle, And sat on the hill*" "*I saw a lone rider Crossing the plain*" "*I drew a bead on him, To practice my aim.*" "*I hung my head, I...*" "Scanlon:" "It was during my election campaign." "*...hung my head, I hung my head.*" "Scanlon:" "Running for district attorney when I first met James Reid." "Scanlon:" "It was immediately clear to me that he was a man of infallible integrity." "He dedicated himself to this city, though his philanthropic endeavors and his newspaper, The Daily Sentinel." "A shinning beacon of truth." "He was our north star." "He showed us the way." "Thank you James." "(People clapping)" "Man:" "Britt, your father was truly a great man." "When I first started campaigning..." "Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah." "He was the best business man I've ever known." "Yep." "He always came out on top." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Scanlon:" "Britt?" "Britt, hey." "I'm so sorry for your loss." "I just want to say that, my father was a federal court judge." "So I think I kinda know how it feels." "When he passed away, I uh, had some pretty big shoes to fill." "Just like you." "So if you ever need somebody to talk to." "I mean, if you ever just want to grab a drink." "Want to get cheered up." "I'm around." "Okay, thanks man I really appreciate it." "Yeah, lock it up....keep it tight." "Yeah, okay...." "Cool." "This is your newspaper." "(Elevator bell dings)" "Look, the burden doesn't have to fall on you alone." "I've been your father's trusted colleague for the past forty five years." "I'm going to make sure the Daily Sentinel stays on the path." "It would make him proud." "Axford:" "So what do you think of all this?" "Britt:" "I don't think anything, man." "I don't know a thing about this newspaper." "I've never even read a full edition of it." "You can do whatever the hell you want with it." "Britt:" "I'm not the guy to run The Sentinel." "James Reid:" "Trying doesn't matter when you always fail." "Oh." "Where's my leaf?" "Reid mumbles:" "Stupid bush!" "Hello!" "Who makes my coffee?" "WHO makes my coffee?" "Will someone explain to me, why the worst day of my life?" "Britt:" "My coffee tastes like shit." "You...your coffee is normally made by, Kato." "Who the hell is that?" "He works on your father's cars, and makes his coffee." "You fired him, and everyone else who works for your father yesterday." "I want Kato here, NOW!" "(Motorcycle roars)" "Britt:" "You're, Kato." "Man I thought your name was Henry." "I thought the pool guy was, Kato." "I'm Kato." "I'm sorry to hear about your father." "He was a... complex man." "Yep." "I've two questions for you, Kato." "Then you can go home." "Why is it that my dad's mechanic makes the coffee?" "And why is it that without you, the coffee tastes like crap?" "I think it's easier if I show you." "Holy cow." "Where did you get that thing?" "I made it." "Watch this." "Unbelievable." "Sit with me, Kato." "Tell me your tale." "I was born in Shanghai." "You know, Shanghai?" "Britt:" "Mmm, loved Japan." "My parents died when I was four." "And Auntie when I was twelve." "I lived in an orphanage." "Sorry, my mom died when I was young, too." "What uh, what happened after that?" "I made a few friends, ran away." "I lived on the street." "How did you start working for my Dad." "Tell me that." "I work in a garage." "Okay." "And one day your father came in with a six-five Chrysler." "I know the car well." "He was so happy with my work." "Then he offered me a job." "I said, yes." "The coffee, how did that come about?" "He used to always say," "(Says in deep voice) "No one could ever make me, a good cup of coffee"." "Britt:" "Good impression." "So I build him the coffee machine." "Well you make one damn fine cup of coffee, sir." "Want to see something cool?" "Yeah." "(Screams)" "Not bad, man." "You did this?" "Kato:" "Yep." "Industrial polycarbonate." "What the hell is "Industrial polycarbonate"?" "It's the stuff they use to make shark tanks." "Britt:" "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." "What are you doing man?" "Put that thing away, are you crazy?" "Come on, don't be a pussy." "What are you going to do?" "(Tire hisses)" "Oh, dude!" "That was awesome." "What is that stuff?" "How does that wor...oh, what are you going to do now?" "And..." "Whoa!" "That is some bad hard shit, dude." "Yep." "Your dad made me do this kind of stuff over the last few years." "(Wolf whistles)" "Britt:" "That is the balls." "The old man was getting paranoid, huh?" "You like that?" "Yeah." "Check this out." "Wow." "Britt:" "You drew all these?" "This is awesome." "Kato, you are a really good drawer." "This is really impressive." "Thanks." "That's the stuff I would really like to do." "Britt:" "Holy!" "Kato, are you a pervert?" "Britt: 'Course I could draw stuff like that sexy." "Beer?" "Yeah, I'd love a beer, sure." "(Tops clatter on floor)" "Thank you." "(Bottles Ring)" "Hey, Kato." "What did you think of my father?" "Was fine." "Come on, just tell me." "He was my boss." "Nobody loves their boss." "Don't sugar coat this, Kato." "You're not going to offend me." "Just tell me." "Man to man." "He was a bit of a dick." "Yep." "You are..." "look at that." "I am, a genius." "You are a genius." "(Slurs) Yeah, yeah, yeah." "You're a mad genius." "I like classical music." "You're a genius who likes classical music." "(Classical music plays on record)" "You know what you are?" "You're a human Swiss army knife." "I don't know what that mean." "It's a little thing that you keep pulling out things." "And just when you think there couldn't be anymore... cool things, a new cool things come out." "And that's you." "You even are dressed like one." "There could be a little plus on your chest." "Britt:" "Let's drink more." "Kato:" "Yeah, let's drink." "Britt:" "Gam Bei. (Cheers)" "Kato:" "Gam Bei, yeah." "Kato: (Speaking Chinese)" "Britt:" "You're speaking Chinese right now." "Kato:" "Oh, shit sorry." "I spend three weeks making new bumper for his Rolls Royce." "Britt:" "Yeah." "Kato:" "And the day after I finished, he crashed it." "Kato:" "He actually saying it was my fault." "Kato:" "He swing at me." "That sounds like him." "Let's investigate another story of the ten million I have." "I'm young." "Guys are picking on a girl at school, I try to stop it." "I get in trouble." "What does my dad do?" "He takes my favorite toy." "And he rips the head off of it, right in front of me." "And he throws it in the garbage." "I was trying to help." "That's all I was trying to do." "You know, it's unbelievable." "He..." "He's an ass his entire life." "And then you know, they... they built him a statue." "I just don't think... people are going to look at it and think he's great but he's not." "It's, it's totally unfair." "There's no justice." "Well, Kato." "Hmm." "What do you say we get ourselves some godamn justice, huh?" "You serious?" "Totally serious." "Let's do something crazy man." "Let's just do something nuts!" "Okay." "Lets just do it." "Okay." "Yeah." "(Bom, bom's in tune with music playing)" "Let's roll, Kato." "(Engine roars down street)" "Britt:" "You think it makes me happy to do this, Dad?" "(Sparks sizzle)" "Britt:" "Come here." "Oh, this looks ominous." "Ah shit, oh no." "(Woman screams)" "What will I do?" "What will I do?" "Oh, God." "HEY!" "Leave them alone." "Thug:" "Let's get him." "Oh shit!" "I made a mistake." "Shit!" "Hey, ha' .. was a set up." "Okay, okay, no!" "I'm going to give him a root canal." "Britt:" "I don't want one." "Just cut him." "Open wi...(Glass shatters)" "Thug 1:" "You're a dead man." "Thug 2:" "Come on, lets go." "(Clanking sound as he focuses on each weapon)" "(Shattering glass)" "(Thugs groan in slow motion with each hit)" "Kato:" "Britt, behind you." "Britt:" "Eat shit." "Get rid of it." "Britt:" "Wait." "Wait for me, wait." "(Siren wail's from approaching police car)" "Britt:" "Go, go, go, go." "I'm in, I'm in." "(Siren blares behind them)" "Kato, that was crazy." "That's unbelievable." "Yeah." "Holy shit." "Oh my god, Kato." "(Police siren blares)" "Shit, Britt." "Oh no, oh no." "Are you a good driver?" "Are you kidding me." "Kato:" "When I was a kid, we had some..." "Britt:" "Kato, not now, just drive." "Kato:" "Okay, okay." "(Police alarm blaring)" "Britt:" "Just stay cool." "What will I do?" "Britt:" "Just act casual." "Police officer:" "Pull it over, now!" "What you doing?" "Britt:" "I'm trying to loose him." "Britt:" "Aw man, now we're in a car chase." "Britt:" "Here he comes." "Police officer:" "Show me your hands." "Britt:" "He tried to kill us." "Britt:" "We're the bad guys, shit." "Britt:" "We're really in a fix." "(Scraping and banging)" "Police officer:" "Oh, no." "Police officer:" "Oh, damn it." "Kato,..." "I think this is the greatest moment of my entire life." "I know." "Mine too." "*Same Cooke:" "Twisting the night away*" "*Let me tell you 'bout a place.* That was amazing!" "*Somewhere up a New York way*" "*Where the people are so gay*" "*Twisting the night...* *...awaaay* Britt:" "We are good." "That was crazy." "How did you do that dude?" "You beat the crap out of those guys." "Where I grew up, it was very dangerous." "I got to learn to fight when I was just a kid." "That was like, you knew where people were without even looking." "Britt:" "You were so fast." "My heart starts pumping." "It's almost like time...slows...down." "It's unbelievable, how cool we are." "You hear me, Dad?" "We did it." "That was amazing." "Kato, I'm serious." "I would get real with you." "So just go with this." "It might get weird and intimate, but just accept me, okay?" "What we did tonight?" "Was fantastic." "It was amazing." "We saved those people, man." "We saved their lives." "So here's what I'm saying." "We keep doing this." "You can beat the crap out of a million dudes at once." "'Cause you can like freeze time or something, when your heart starts pumping." "We do that every night, I'm saying." "Kato." "Kato?" "*(Sings) We could be heroes.*" "Hey, hey, hey." "Look, look." "We're on television." "Kato:" "We're on T.V." "T.V. Reporter:" "Was captured in this surveillance tape." "Look at me." "Kato:" "Where am I?" "I don't know." "That was confronted by, but managed to escape." "I'm to fast for T.V." "Yes, exactly." "Reporter:" "Desecrated and this within days.." "We saved those people, and they just talk about his stupid head." "How can we be heroes if they think we're criminals?" "Reporter: ...are considered armed, and dangerous." "Okay, think about this, Kato." "What is the one insanely stupid thing every super hero has in common?" "Tights." "No." "Cape." "No, Kato." "It's that every one knows that they're the good guy." "The hero, you know." "All the bad guy has to do is start capping some innocent people." "And he's got the good guy by the nuts." "He's got to do whatever he says." "It's in every movie." "It's in every comic book." "It's in everything." "It's so stupid." "But, if the bad guy thought the good guy, was also a bad guy." "He wouldn't be able to do that." "That's what we'll do differently." "We will pose as villains." "But we'll act like heroes." "But then the police, and the bad guys, will both try to kill us." "We're dead already, Kato." "I mean, seriously you wouldn't..." "Look at us." "We've both been completely wasting our potential." "Britt:" "You a little bit more than me." "I mean, what do you want your autobiography to be called?" ""Oil changes, and cappuccino's?"" "Because I think, "Balls deep, in shit kicking dudes"." "By Kato." "Is a much cooler sounding book." "I would read that book, and I don't read shit." "But when they've adapted it into a movie." "I would see the shit out of it." "Kato." "You should never make coffee for anyone again." "It's a waste of your talent." "It's not dying that you need to be afraid of." "It's never having lived in the first place." "It did feel good." "Saving those people." "Well technically I saved them, but you helped, I guess." "Yeah." "Whatever." "Whatever." "Let's not get technical." "But why would people take us serious?" "We're just two guys who stole a head." "Hmm?" "I know how to make them take us seriously." "All right, gentlemen. (Clapping) Here ye, here ye." "...court is in session." "Britt:" "Let's talk shop, okay." "Shall we?" "Axford:" "Who's this guy?" "Who's your friend?" "He's my man." "I'm not your man." "He's not my man, no." "He's uh, no he's not my man." "He's like, uh..." "He's like, "My man"." "He's...my...uh..." "Not your...it's platonic...we're just..." "We're just platonic friends." "We're platonic male friends." "He's my, Executive associate." "Yes, that's who he is, and that doesn't matter." "What does matter, is how we tackle this horrible incident." "It's clear to me that whoever did this means business." "And this is just the beginning." "Axford:" "Talking about business." "This vandalizing business, oh I get it." "Listen, let's not blow this thing out of proportion." "I will blow this guy in any proportion I like." "This is my newspaper, Axford, and I want this man on the front page of it." "I want him on the web page." "I want you to blog about him." "I want him on every news outlet we have." "I want the whole city to know, how dangerous this man is." "Britt:" "The man that cut the head off of my father's statue." "Not yours." "Axford:" "All right." "Male Reporter 1:" "Um, since there isn't any real info on the guys identity." "Um, what do we call him?" "That's easy." "I got it." "This man, is called, "The Green Bee"." "It's kinda lame." "Male Reporter 1:" "Yeah, it sounds like a knitting store, or something." "Male Reporter 2:" "Sounds like an energy bar." "No, I..." "I...it came out wrong." "(all talking at once)" "Make it like the green decimator." "The Green Hornet." "Naw, it's more like, uh." "Male Reporter 1:" "What?" "Male Reporter 2:" "What did?" "The Green Hornet." "Well that's pretty awesome." "Much better." "You guys like that?" "(All) Yeah." "Green Hornet it is." "Male Reporter 2:" "The Green Hornet." "Okay, okay, fine." "Fine, it's decided then." "Male Reporter 2:" "Yeah." "The front page of tomorrow's newspaper will feature," ""The Green Hornet"." "Unless you like "Green Bee" better, anyone?" "(All) Nah, no...." "Oh that's much worse...." "Definitely worse." "Okay fine." "Okay." "Let's roll, Kato." "(All talking about 'The Green Hornet')" "It's going to be a long night." "I am." "Shhhh." "Britt:" "We need to think of a cool name for you." "The little stinger." "I'm the Green Hornet." "You're my little stinger." "No way." "The Honey Pot." "Get it." "Bee's make honey." "You're my honey pot." "It's my homes." "Decapitated statues?" "I've decapitated real people." "You know, I wouldn't worry about it." "You don't need their fucking business." "I'm not worried." "Who told you I'm worried?" "D.A. Scanlon, D.A. Scanlon." "With the nightclub bombing last week, and now this Green Hornet guy." "Some are saying the streets might not be as safe as you're making them out to be." "Guys, guys." "Stop, stop connecting separate dots with invisible lines." "This Green Hornet thing, is just a prank." "Scanlon on T.V.:" "Now what you guys should be reporting on is, since I've been in office, crime is down significantly in the city of Los Angeles." "Thank you." "(Elevator dings)" "(Reporters chatting)" "Hi." "Hi." "I'm Lenore Case." "I'm the temp for Mr. Reid's secretarial position." "Today's my first day." "Oh, nice to meet you." "I'm Kato." "It's my first day, too." "Really, well nice to meet you." "Do you work for Mr. Reid?" "I'm his, Executive Associate." "Wow, that must be great." "Yeah, it is." "So far." "Kato, I've a really important question for you." "Uh, who is the Hottie-Boom-Body, who's standing right behind me, right now?" "I'm kidding, hi I'm Britt Reid." "I own this newspaper, what's going on?" "It's such a pleasure to meet you, sir." "I'm Lenore Case." "Thanks..." "Oh." "I've been sent to you to be your temp until you find a new secretary." "Aaah." "Jackpot." "Britt:" "Right this way." "So. (Claps)" "Got one, why don't you tell me." "How do you feel about the state of this newspaper?" "As it stands, today." "Give." "To be honest, this paper has taken a dip in the last few years." "In quality and ambition." "Really?" "Lenore:" "Well, of course the entire industry, has taken a hit because of the internet." "So there's a lot of pressure to print easy to digest articles." "And it is THE last family owned paper in the city." "And one of the only ones not attached to a conglomerate in the entire country." "So it's understandable." "Britt:" "Conglomerate?" "But the Sentinel used to really use its independence, to be brazen at the very least." "Like that article that your father wrote, just after the night club bombing." "That was real reporting." "That is the kind of article that can really make a difference." "Wow." "That was good." "You know a lot about this shit, huh?" "I, I studied journalism." "I have a minor in criminology." "Really?" "Lenore:" "Yeah." "Criminology." "The study of the criminal mind." "Britt:" "What are your thoughts on this Green Hornet character?" "Give." "Um, well first off, there's two kinds of criminals." "Okay." "There's the psycho ego-maniac and the power maniac." "(Britt mouths, "Write this".)" "Lenore:" "He uh, he seems to be the second," "Because he defies the media." "Kato:" "Excuse me, what do you think he'll do next?" "Britt:" "Yeah, that, that's..." "What is his next move, is what I was going to ask." "(Mouths "Write it down".)" "Lenore:" "Well, he'll probably try to appropriate more power." "You know, he'll hit somebody on their own turf." "Basically he'll start out small." "And then he'll work his way up to the top." "I mean, that's what John Gotti did to Paul Costellano in '85." "And it worked?" "Lenore:" "Yes." "Wow, look at you." "Britt:" "You really know a lot about this stuff." "And you're lovely and beautiful." "I was just sitting here, thinking." "Why are you only pursuing this in your, uh..." "Kato, help me out here, uh...." "Twilight." "(Whispers) Twilight?" "Twilight?" "Yeah." "I, I saw the movie but I don't see how..." "Oh no, no, not like that. (Laughs)" "Not, not like the movie." "I guess if we were doing movies, it would be more like..." "Uh, Cocoon." "Or, something like that." "Later in ones years." "What, I'm only 36." "(Whispers) You're thirty six?" "Holy shit, that's crazy." "Britt:" "I thought you were like 31 tops." "I didn't know we can hire 36 year olds." "We'll have to build a ramp, huh?" "Why, why now?" "(Say's sing-song) She doesn't want to tell you." "(Sing song's back) I don't think you know what you're talking about, Kato." "Lenore:" "No, Mr. Kato is right." "I do not feel comfortable discussing this." "And if this means I am not going to be your temp any longer?" "Then I'm sorry, it's..." "Britt:" "That's exactly what it means." "Yep." "Okay, thank you." "'Cause you are now my permanent secretary." "Here is what has gone down, Lenore." "You've displayed two things." "Balls." "And there's one thing I like on my women." "(Whispers) It's balls." "Please me my permanent secretary." "Are you kidding me?" "I'm not kidding." "This is how I do, this is how I roll." "Every day, all day." "Britt:" "I make it rain like this, okay." "I want you to come work for me." "Just say yes." "Just say yes." "Really?" "Don't think, just say yes." "Okay, I'll do it, yes." "Thank you, yes!" "This is so exciting." "It is exciting." "Mr." "Kato thank you so much." "Don't thank him." "He did nothing." "Thank you, I promise I will not disappoint you." "I don't think you will." "I will definitely do research." "Good, good." "I will do fact checking, spell checking." "Anything that you need." "Perfect, well... why don't you get started on more Green Hornet research." "Actually that's perfect." "(Whispers) Bam!" "She is hot!" "It's crazy how hot she is." "She's listening." "Did you write down everything that she said?" "I think." "Let me see." "Britt:" "Pervert." "Let's get to work, Kato." "Brit:" "All right, we got a plan." "Start small, work our way up to the top." "Okay." "We'll need a car." "Hell's yes, we'll need a car." "With internal weapons." "Mmm." "And armor." "Cool rims, spinning rims." "Britt:" "Slurpee machine." "A horn that plays La Cucaracha." "Britt:" "It'll be loaded up the ass with cool shit." "I can do that." "Kato, I want you to take my hand." "And I want you to come with me on this adventure." "I'll go with you." "But I don't want to touch you." "Okay, you don't have to take my hand." "But will you come with me on this adventure?" "* The White Stripes:" "Blue Orchid*" "*Something better than nothing, is giving up." "You needed the something. *" "*So I gave you the truth from showing up*" "*How dare you*" "*How old are you now anyway?" "*" "*How dare you*" "*How old are you now anyway?" "*" "(Mouths "Okay".) This one." "Britt:" "This will kill a bad girl." "*How dare you*" "*How old are you now anyway?" "*" "Kato!" "Britt:" "Come closer." "I have an idea for the car." "Ejector seats." "Ejector seats?" "You don't think it's a good idea?" "Hello." "Hello." "*You got a reaction.*" "*You got a reaction, didn't you?" "*" "*You took a white orchid,*" "*You took a white orchid, turned it blue*" "*Something better than nothing.*" "*Something better than nothing Is giving up*" "*You needed the something*" "*You got a reaction, didn't you?" "*" "*You took a white orchid,*" "*You took a white orchid, turned it blue.*" "I'm so excited right now." "I can't wait." "Aw, man." "What the hell?" "Watch your feet." "The glory of the Black Beauty." "Damn." "It's beautiful." "It's black." "Wow." "Incredible." "(Revs' car engine)" "(Tires screech)" "Oh, dude." "We're forgetting something very important." "Watch this." "That is so wicked." "*Coolio:" "Gangsta's Paradise*" "(Both sing to record playing) *As I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death,*" "*I take a look at my life,*" "*And realize there's nothing left,*" "*'Cause I've been blasting and laughing so long*" "*That even my momma thinks that my mind has gone.*" "*Tell me why are we, so blind to see *" "*That the ones we hurt, are you and me*" "Whooo!" "*Been spending most our lives living in the Gangs...* (Record screeches to a stop)" "Where are we going?" "I have no idea, I thought you knew." "Oh, Okay." "I got an idea." "Okay." "(Phone rings)" "Mr. Reid's' office." "(Lecherous voice) I'm looking at you." "What?" "Britt:" "I'm totally joking." "Britt Reid, calling." "Burning the candle at both ends, I see." "Wouldn't Mr. Case be upset with that?" "Britt:" "There is no Mr. Case." "Well that's not why I'm calling." "I'm actually calling because, uh." "Remember seeing all that Green Hornet research?" "You know, predicting what he might do next." "If you could just send us that." "Those crime maps." "Oh, yeah." "That would be really helpful." "Just fax it on over." "Yes, hold on a second, please." "Lenore:" "And it's coming right at you." "If you need anything else." "Okay." "You just let me know." "Perfect." "Thank you, bye, bye." "She wants me so bad, it's crazy." "Hmm?" "Oh." "South Central." "Yeah." "Okay, we got 14 homicides." "34 assaults." "116 drug arrests." "This month." "Sounds like a good place for the Green Hornet to make his debut." "Britt:" "Let's roll, Kato." "Let's roll." "Britt:" "This is really far east." "Never been in this part of town." "Britt:" "I think we're in the hood, Kato." "Wait, wait." "Do you think we start there?" "Britt:" "Yeah." "Just like Lenore said." "Start small, work our way up." "Britt:" "This is really, really intense." "Kato:" "So you don't want to do it?" "Britt:" "I do, I do." "We should just..." "let's do it fast before we chicken out, okay?" "I not going to chicken out." "Who knows you might chicken out." "I know, just...just pull up to them." "I don't want to talk." "What, they're on your side." "Stop yelling at me." "Just pull it over and..." "Kato:" "Britt, I barely speak English." "Britt:" "You speak English right now." "Okay, fine." "This is so stupid." "Oh, okay." "Kato:" "Calm down." "Britt:" "I am calm." "Britt:" "Just shut up, this is scary....you shut up!" "Kato:" "This is scary, you shut up!" "Britt:" "I'm just trying to be cool...." "I am cool." "Kato:" "Be cool." "Dealer:" "Yo, you looking for that good stuff, man?" "Hola." "I am The Green Hornet." "Britt:" "And I would like to sit down with your boss." "Dealer:" "Sit on this, bitch." "(Britt screams) Oh, God!" "Britt:" "Oh, God!" "(Motor revs...wheels squeal)" "(Dealer screams)" "Britt:" "Bean bags." "Where the hell are the bean bags?" "Yeah!" "YEAAAAHH!" "Let me show you how it's done, Kato." "Green..." "Hornet...said...hello." "(Britt gasps)" "Britt:" "Eat my foot." "Bitch." "Kato:" "My nuts!" "What the hell was that?" "Who do you work fo..oh god." "Who do you work for?" "Shit." "(Pusher moans) Hey!" "You come, come here, come here." "Hey, who do you work for?" "Chudnofsky Same guy everybody works for." "Britt:" "Chud-what-ski?" "Chudnofsky" "What kind of a dumb name is that?" "Chudnofsky" "Where do you get the shit you sell for him, huh, where?" "I'll never tell you that." "Oh really, never." "Tupper:" "Chudnofsky's on our ass guys." "We've got to get this shit done tonight." "(Sound of revving engine)" "You've just been stung." "Yeah." "You." "This is my town, now." "My name is 'The Green Hornet'." "Hello there, nice to meet you." "Hello, how's it going?" "Uh, anyway." "Tell your boss, The Green Hornet sends his regards." "Dude." "You broke my lab, man." "Yeah, I'm sorry about that." "Britt:" "Let's burn this mother down, Kato." "(Mini explosions inside)" "Explain yourself, Mr. Tupper." "The guy was crazy, man." "I mean he drove a car through a wall." "Tupper:" "The thing was like a half-tank or something." "I mean, there was fire coming out of the thing." "And?" "Tupper:" "Oh yeah, he gave me this." "He said that this is his town now." "A man comes in, in an ancient costume and you shit your pants?" "Look, trust me." "A guy...grown man wearing a mask." "Is a little bit scarier than a guy wearing a suit." "You're not pleased with my suit?" "Does it fail to fill you with fear?" "I'm sorry, I didn't mean any disrespect." "Do you have any idea how many great people I've killed in a suit?" "I like your suit." "Me too." "Now this is exactly what I was talking about." "I'm not as scary as some idiot in a green mask." "Come on!" "You say they want to take business." "Chudnofsky:" "Now this guy ran six of the biggest meth labs in L.A." "Now because of that Hornet, he's dead." "Business affected." "Well I've got three reports of the Green Hornet shooting out a red light here." "I have a report, an elderly couple claims that the Green Hornet gave them the finger." "The Green Hornet and his Chauffeur in a fist fight with gang members in south central." "The Green Hornet raises a lot of questions." "We all know that gang proliferation has been rising in the last few years." "Okay, that'll be homework." "I..." "I got a, I got a Yoga class." "Uh, filler." "Anywho, bottom line." "Headlines people." "Get this story out there." "Will the violence continue to spill out onto the streets?" "What are the police doing about him?" "Is anyone safe at the mercy of," "(whispers) dot-dot-dot, (Normal voice) The Green Hornet." "And I want those dots, I want dots in the paper, okay." "Mr. Reid, do you understand that's kind of hitting it delicately?" "No." "That D.A. Scanlon's entire reelection, platform is based on him cleaning up the streets." "I know you guys are acquaintances." "So if you want to..." "Oh, actually that's a great idea." "You should use that." "Write an article about that." "Even D.A. Scanlon is quivering at the feet of this scourge." "Use the word, 'scourge'." "Write an article about that." "Britt, can I talk to you for a second?" "Yeah." "Look, I know what you're tying to do here." "Turn this newspaper into some kind of discothèque." "But it's not going to work." "That's now what I'm doing." "She's a brainy broad, dude." "This is a serious matter." "Okay, well?" "For every line that we print, there's repercussions." "Somebody has to take responsibility." "That's me!" "Well, I'm not afraid of these bastards." "And you shouldn't be either." "Their leader was Daniel, he made it to the wall." "Axford:" "They killed for wantonly speculating on the drug war." "That's exactly what you and your little girlfriend are doing." "I know that you think my experience ain't a worth shit." "But your father used to listen to me." "So should you." "This is the story I want to run." "I'm going with it, and if you are fortunate enough to still be with us." "It's what, Daniel Ver...vertila, Vertila..." "Ver-te-lie?" "Ver-tel-lie, it's what he would have wanted, too." "Okay." "That's the story, team." "Run it!" "Britt Reid, out true." "*Van Halen:" "Feel Your Love Tonight*" "*Alright!" "*" "Bzzzzt, Bzzt." "Scourge?" "*We're gettin' funny in the back of my car*" "*I'm sorry honey if I took you just a little too far, yes*" "I want this Hornet guy!" "*Uh too, too far*" "*So I, I told the fellas out behind the bar*" "*So let me tell you honey just how fine you are, yes*" "*I guess you are*" "*You see I'm beggin' you pleeease*" "(Police sirens blare) *beggin' on, begging' on my knees*" "Yeah!" "Wait, don't, don't, don't!" "*Sayin' I can't wait to feel your love....*" "Camera got us." "(Breaks screech)" "(Missile whistles out)" "What camera?" "The Green Hornet and his masked accomplish started major trouble in the southland today." "(Kato happily whistling)" "Kato, is in the house." "Yes." "I just checked the Hornet mail." "Hmm." "Nothing new, but they'll be a knocking." "Sounds great." "Yeah." "I have something for you." "Really?" "Awesome." "Dear Britt," "You are my, xiongdì ." "What's xiongdì ?" "Brother." "That's awfully nice." "I've never had a brother, man." "I've always wanted one." "(Intone's in Triumphant tune) Dum, da, da, dum, dum, duuummm" "Whoa!" "What the hell is this?" "It's a gas gun." "(Excitedly) Your Hornet gun!" "A gas gun?" "Yeah." "Why not a gun, gun?" "Our enemies have gun, guns." "What, I don't understand, why, what are these?" "What is this?" "What are these?" "These paint balls?" "No, these are with knock-out gas." "That is insane." "Where's yours?" "Do you have one?" "Do have a black version of it or something?" "No, just you." "No?" "Kato:" "No." "Well why not?" "Why just me?" "You, you're so special." "I know I'm special, but how come I'm the only one with a gun?" "Because you don't have much fighting experience." "So I thought you needed a gun." "Well, I'll be honest, that's a little insulting, man." "I mean I thought we were both bad asses the other night." "I kicked that guy in the face like three times, remember?" "I kicked him in the face." "I know, I..." "I remember." "Yeah." "It makes you look cool." "I need to look cool now?" "What the hell?" "You said my outfit was pimp." "I remember thinking, that's a weird word for him to use, pimp." "But you said it, you said it was pimp." "It is pimp." "Yeah." "The Hornet gun is just an accessory." "An accessory." "Yeah." "Well then, you need, uh...you need nun chucks then." "If you don't like it, don't use it." "No, let me...how does it work?" "(Blast, hiss) Shit!" "It works." "(Sound of respirator, machine beeping)" "Britt screaming:" "KATO!" "Kato!" "Over here." "Hey, you're awake." "What the hell, what happened to me?" "What's happening?" "What happened?" "You shot yourself in the face, by mistake." "Ho...ho..how long was I out?" "What time is it?" "Two o'clock." "Oh, that's not so bad, I guess." "On Thursday." "It's Thursday, are you kid...it's not Monday right now?" "No, I'm sorry." "Did you put this diaper on me?" "Well what did I miss?" "Nothing, really." "I did some work on the Black Beauties." "Beau-"tie's"?" "Britt:" "Holy crap." "Kato:" "Back-ups." "Britt:" "How the hell did you do this in four days?" "It's been eleven days." "Whoa, eleven days?" "What, are you kidding me?" "I wasn't sleeping." "I was in a coma, dick." "But it's okay now." "I fixed the Hornet gas." "The gas only lasts one hour." "Can I see it?" "Okay, but be careful this time." "I'll be careful, I just want to look at it." "Just give to me for one second and I'll just... (Blast, hiss)" "Britt:" "See you in an hour." "Mr." "Reid." "Hey." "Welcome back." "I'm so glad you're feeling better." "I heard that Mono is the worst." "Mono?" "(Tauntingly Sing songs) Mmm, mmm." "Yeah, well it's uh, better than herpes, right?" "Here are you messages." "Thank you." "I have some meeting's I'd like to set up with you." "(Kato plays with Briefcase locks)" "Okay, cool, great." "Here is the research that you asked for." "Oooo, Green Hornet, me likee." "(Kato continues to play with briefcase)" "D.A. Scanlon called, he said that he really needs to speak to you." "Boring." "Let me look at this stuff." "(Muffled sounds of Kato and Lenore talking)" "I thought maybe we could go to dinner, or get a drink." "Blow off some steam." "Yeah, I would love to." "So." "Perfect, I'll be there." "Kato:" "Wooo." "(Laughs with disbelief) That was awesome." "Britt:" "Hey, Kato!" "Can you make me some coffee." "I know you don't have your whole little operation set up." "Whatever you can whip up will be great." "Lenore, have you had this little bastards coffee?" "'Cause it is, scrumdiddlyumptious." "The only way to describe it." "You want a cup?" "I'm fine, thank you." "So that's just one cup of coffee, Kato." "So, there's this restaurant." "That just opened in the San Fernando valley, and it's called, La Maison de la Vuad." "And the whole thing is, you eat your meal in total darkness." "So with your deprived sight, each bite is like an orgasm in your mouth." "And I was thinking maybe it would be." "Mr." "Reid's office." "This is D.A. Scanlon calling for Britt Reid, please." "Lenore:" "Hello sir, yes I'm aware you've been calling." "He's, he's had Mono." "Well let me take a look." "Maybe there's a chance we can work that out later." "Ow!" "If you ever tell me to get you coffee again." "I'll beat the shit out of you." "What are you?" "What is wrong with you, are you crazy?" "This is our plan." "You're suppose to work for me." "You got me a java juice." "We're suppose to be bothers, man." "We're suppose to be Shon-dee." "What happened with that?" "Huh?" "I'm sorry." "You should be sorry." "We're renegade super heroes, and there's a lot of stress involved with that." "But you don't got to freak out about it, do you, okay?" "I'll have the coffee au lait." "I'm joking." "I'm totally joking." "You're still mad at me, Kato?" "No." "Good." "'Cause you shouldn't be, anyway." "Britt:" "What's up with Lenore?" "Is she acting weird around me?" "No, why?" "I like, like her." "And I can't nail her." "She's completely unnailable." "It's I mean, it's a terrible fact." "I don't know what to do." "She doesn't like you." "Why would you even want her?" "I don't know." "But I do, maybe it's because she doesn't like me." "Isn't that sick." "That could be it." "Britt:" "Girls are such a drag, Kato." "Thank god we have each other." "Hey, I'm calling a boys night." "What do you say, huh?" "What are you doing?" "I didn't know you wanted to hang out." "I'm going for a drink with a friend." "Friend, who, come on?" "Tony." "Tony?" "(Motorcycle revs)" "Well have fun." "Kato:" "You want to try?" "Lenore:" "No." "Hit the black key." "Really?" "Yeah." "Okay, I'll give it a try." "Which one?" "*Playing soothing music*" "You know this uh, Green Hornet thing is just crazy, isn't it?" "I mean it's all I can think about sometimes." "I feel really in tuned with it." "Kind of like that guy with the Zodiac killer." "What about the man dressed in black?" "Johnny Cash?" "No." "His partner." "His partner?" "No I don't think that, that's his partner." "It's probably just some thug that he hired." "Anyhow they'll both be dead in no time." "Hmm?" "Yeah." "Why?" "Because." "The Green Hornet's been attracting way to much attention." "Whoever is in charge is going to get tired of it." "Call him in to try and make a deal with them." "Then kill him." "It's what Gotti did to Mengala in '87." "Two weeks, two weeks tops." "That's what I give them." "Two weeks." "Dead." "Chili:" "You're not going to like this." "But we got nothing." "It's like the Green Hornet didn't exist." "Nobody's done a deal with him." "Nobody's done time with him." "Nobody's ever heard of him." "It's like he came out of thin air." "Popeye:" "Yeah, and I gotta say." "He's setting a bad example for the other gangs." "I met with the Armenians early today, they told me.... if the Hornet is independent." "They want to be independent too." "The Armenians truly said that?" "And I heard rumors the Koreans are talking the same." "Which Korean?" "Kim." "Kim?" "No, Kim never said that." "We've been doing business for twenty five years." "We're friends." "I'm sorry boss." "That's just shocking." "Popeye:" "Maybe we should go down there, and teach them to keep their mouths shut." "Chudnofsky:" "No, no, no." "I should kill Kim myself." "He's a friend." "(Kim screams in agony)" "And I'll kill the Armenians, too." "It would make me feel better." "Wait, wait!" "AAAAH!" "AAAAAH!" "Great, what about, The Hornet?" "Kato:" "Reid." "What you doing here?" "Guess what, you son of a bitch?" "(Gulps)" "We got mail." "We got Hornet mail!" "(Happily) He emailed, it happened." "Come here, look, come here." "Look, look, look." ""Green Hornet"." "(Whispers) Me." ""Good job on the Meth lab"." "Uhhn!" "Britt: "The place was costing me money and I wanted to shut it down anyway"." "That's B.S. "Lets talk about another business venture that could be mutually beneficial"." ""Please meet tomorrow"." ""At the lot on 5th and Union in downtown"." ""At 4 p.m."." "Another adventure for, The Green Hornet, and his nameless side kick." "(Intone's ominous sound)" "Looks like we got some planning to do." "It could be a trap." "I heard Gotti killed Mangala in '87." "Where did you hear that from?" "The History channel." "Oh yeah." "Should we go downtown now and check it out?" "Uh, no." "That's cool, I got that covered." "You just fill up the car with weapons and stuff like that, okay." "So, you're just going to come up with the plan by yourself?" "Bingo." "I don't know if that's the best idea." "'Course you don't, Kato." "Kato:" "What's that mean?" "Oh, it means that you, uh think your an awesome karate dude that can do anything, and that I'm an incompetent schmuck." "Britt:" "Who needs a gun that shoots farts at people." "That's what that means." "Kato:" "I'm just saying, we should do this together." "I'm just saying, you should go home." "You should go to sleep, so tomorrow you could process..." "MY incredible plan." "Fine." "Kato:" "This is so stupid." "We've pissed this guy off." "Now we are walking into a meeting on his turf." "We walked into their turf last time." "And guess what?" "We kicked the living crap out of them." "And, everyone knows what happens when you fool with a Hornet." "You get stung." "You get stung, what does that mean?" "It's not a game, Britt." "And you are going to get us killed." "If you don't like my plan, you do not have to be a part of it." "I don't even think you have a plan." "I do have a plan, I just haven't told it to you yet." "And it's amazing." "Okay?" "So are you in?" "Or are you chickening out like a, bitch?" "Kato:" "You are a bitch." "Britt:" "Not now, Kato." "Not now, turn in here." "Britt:" "To there, game faces Kato, game faces." "Britt:" "Shh, Shh." "Here's the plan." "You take this thing, you put it in your ear." "You listen in on my phone, which I've taped to my chest." "See, when I say the secret word, which is 'Constantinople'." "Britt:" "I'll kick the old guy in the nuts, you blow them up with missiles." "Britt:" "Whoa!" "Turn, get back, go, go." "Okay." "This is not part of the plan." "Britt:" "We're sandwiched." "(Car fails to start)" "And so, thunder strikes lightning." "Britt:" "Don't get all panicky." "Britt:" "The worst thing we can do right now is panic." "Britt:" "Just let me think." "Okay, don't worry." "I'll get us out of here, okay." "Kato:" "Not to worry, we'll get it done, asswipe." "Britt:" "Well with that attitude we will come out, man." "I'm getting claustiphobic, Kato." "Okay, let me think." "Britt:" "Oh, no." "I can't breath." "Listen, listen." "(Pounding sound above)" "Britt:" "We're buried, we are totally buried." "Okay, okay." "Britt:" "What are you doing?" "I am killing us, or saving us." "(Fast beeping) Britt:" "Whoa, whoa, missiles armed." "That's your plan?" "You're going to blow us up, Kato." "That's not a good plan, disarm them, man." "Shall we part?" "Do you feel like kabobs for dinner?" "(Beeping gets faster)" "Popeye:" "Look out!" "Chili!" "Popeye:" "They killed him." "They killed Chili." "Kato:" "Lets run." "Kato:" "Let's go." "(Bullet's ricochet off dirt)" "Britt:" "There's thorns in these bushes." "Kato:" "Shut up." "Britt:" "This thing has no aim." "Britt:" "That sucks." "Kato:" "You have no aim." "Watch!" "What?" "I smash window, you shoot in." "Britt:" "Every man for himself." "Britt:" "No way." "Chudnofsky:" "DIE!" "Britt:" "Shit!" "So you're just going to ignore me now?" "Is that it?" "Like a baby." "Go home and eat some baby food, maybe." "Drink some milk." "Why don't you talk like a baby." "Mama, goo goo." "You baby." "Wahhh, wahhh." "Baby!" "Female Reporter:" "Somehow explosions were triggered from that vehicle." "Female Reporter: destroying it but ..." "Kato:" "Dick weed." "Okay, you're calling me that too, now." "I know people call me that." "That's not a surprise to me, that's not a mystery, okay." "Well, you say the real thing to me all day, every day." "It's not a partners word." "We are not partners." "I'm the hero, you're my sidekick." "That's what this is." "I'm Indie, you're Short Round." "Simon..." "Garfunkle." "Scooby..." "Do." "Stop fooling yourself." "The Green Hornet is nothing without me." "I made the knock out gas." "I alone designed and build the Black Beauty." "And I didn't help, at all?" "How, ejector seats?" "Exactly." "(Spits on floor) What a great idea." "You may have started this Green Hornet thing." "Because of how much you hated your father." "You're an egomaniac." "I know." "Exactly like your father." "You are a jealous, pathetic little man." "Fine." "Yeah." "You're doing great with, Lenore." "What the hell does that mean?" "Ah, don't you walk away on that." "What?" "You're charming her pants off?" "That's what I'm suppose to believe." "No, that is a filthy gesture." "You know I like her." "I confided in you, Kato." "I, I trusted you." "I told you I liked her." "You hit on everything that moves." "I'm amazed, you haven't hit on me yet." "If you keep talking like this, Kato." "I'm going to beat the living shit out of you." "Just so you know." "I like to see you try." "You're a yuppie whimp, and I'm a martial arts expert who grew up penniless on the streets." "You grew up penis-less on the streets." "Funny." "Heroes beat sidekicks." "Period." "Don't do that." "Don't do what?" "Don't poke you." "I'm warning you." "(Slaps)" "Kato:" "Okay." "I'm done, forget that stuff, so we can fix this." "Okay, okay you're right." "You're right." "Let's talk." "I'm sorry." "Sacked you like a bitch, Kato." "(Glass breaking)" "Britt:" "Come here." "You like that, Kato." "You like that." "You get stung when playing with a Hornet." "Oh, god." "Now I'm the guy that hurt you." "I'd like to see you try." "Britt:" "Ugh, get thing off of me, man." "(Motorcycle revs)" "Kato:" "You barely touched her." "Britt:" "Damn it!" "Britt:" "I'll give you a touch." "Britt:" "Okay, let's..." "You end this?" "You are so stubborn." "How it feel, you don't like it?" "No I don't like it." "You like it." "No, I don't like it, get off." "Okay, now we can end this." "(Broken glass tinkles) Britt:" "Stop!" "Just stop, stop." "Stop, stop, stop, stop!" "(Britt screams)" "(Splash into water)" "Kato screams:" "Reid!" "Kato:" "Wait." "Kato:" "Help." "Kato gurgles:" "Help." "Get out of my pool." "Get off my property." "(Muffled) You're fired." "Never come back." "Kato cries out:" "Help." "Kato gasps:" "I, can't..." "I can't swim." "(Splashes and gasps)" "Kato says weakly:" "Please...." "Reid." "(Coughs)" "Kato:" "Lenore, it's me." "It's me, Kato." "What the hell?" "That's for whatever lie you told Britt." "Lenore:" "He called me a scankless minx, and then he fired me." "(Mumbles in Chinese)" "Chudnofsky:" "Chili was a fine warrior." "He was a man of honor and dignity." "We must show our respect." "I'm will assure him blood." "Chudnofsky:" "Popeye, go forth." "Take these words and spread them." "The bounty of one million dollars." "The prey, The Green Hornet." "Dead, if possible." "Alive, if necessary." "I don't care where they have to go, or who they have to do." "I want the head of The Green Hornet, and I want it tonight." "Girl:" "Yes." "Girl:" "Everybody, chase the Hornet." "Man:" "We want him dead." "Second man:" "Right." "Girl:" "Do me a favor, I want you to find him and end his life." "Young woman:" "The Masked one." "Old woman:" "Kill green, yeah." "Popeye:" "Go." "Old man:" "Kill the masked one." "Girl:" "Get on the horn." "Young man:" "Alright I'll do it, I'll do it." "Popeye:" "This Green Hornet, got a mask on." "Woman:" "One million dollars." "Popeye:" "Got it." "Man:" "Right." "(All talking at once on getting The Green Hornet.)" "(Man screams)" "AAAHH!" "Chudnofsky:" "You failed to kill me the Hornet, Popeye." "(Elevator dings)" "I warned you about this." "You heightened this thing to a point where it had to reach some kind of a climax." "Well, here it is." "I hope you realize now, you should have stayed out of my way." "Never run this paper." "Female T.V. Reporter:" "A gruesome scene last night as bodies were found all across the city." "Female TV reporter:" "Everyone of them wearing green clothing." "D. A. Scanlon's office, please." "The victims were unrelated, and it seems their only connection was in fact their choice of attire." "Female TV Reporter:" "As a safety precaution, police are advising citizens... to avoid wearing the color green." "So as not to be unwittingly targeted." "(Spits on floor)" "This is my fault." "This is what I did with this newspaper." "So what." "At least you tried." "Your Dad would have understood that." "Look, running a newspaper must be difficult." "I mean, if it's anything like running a re-election campaign." "It's got to be a pain in the ass." "(Laughs)" "Scanlon:" "Fortunately I think, uh... think we make each other's life easier." "How?" "Well there are two sides to every story." "Right." "I mean, there's some people, they see an event." "And they interpret it as this crime war, you know." "Other people see the same incident and they interpret it as a small isolated event." "Yeah." "Scanlon:" "I guess, I could... help you decide." "How these incidents are exposed." "In the public interest, of course, you know." "Now if this collaboration leads to ascertain my position." "Well I will make sure that you enjoy compensation in return." "What kind of compensation?" "(Hums "I don't know")" "Frank, are you... are you like saying you want me to slight up the news for you?" "For your re-election." "Is that what this is?" "Scanlon:" "I thought you needed my help." "We, help each other out." "So that we can both get ahead." "This is mutually beneficial." "Okay, I get it now." "You went to my Dad, he rejected your offer." "And you think that you can just push me around." "That's what this is?" "That's what you think?" "No, what I think is that you over value your Dad's integrity." "You get out of my office right this second." "This might be what you're looking for." "Thank you." "(Whispers) Stay here." "Boss." "What are you doing up here?" "All the guys we're waiting for you." "Come here." "I've been doing some thinking." "And I had a revelation." "What?" "I'm obsolete." "I'm a dinosaur." "Not in the scary way, in the extinct way." "And it's time for changes." "You know, it's time for me to gain some...charisma." "I have no idea what you're talking about." "What?" "Ha, ha." "I'm talking about a motif." "A theme." "A mask." "Perhaps a stylish cape." "I'm talking about the death of 'Chudnofsky' and the rebirth of 'Bloodnofsky'." "What do you say?" "Honestly?" "Yeah." "I think that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard." "Why is that stupid?" "That's not stupid." "Yes it is." "Blood-nofsky." "I..." "I was going to wear red." "For blood, get it?" "That's scary." "And cool." "Get this." ""Be it my mask or your blood, red will be the last color you'll ever see"." "I say that to people when I kill them." "The Green Hornet killed Chili." "I am minus an eyeball, here." "You can't go and tell these guys that." "They'll think you lost your bloody mind." "I think you're having a midlife crisis here." "Seriously, you're starting to scare me." "Want to know a secret?" "I'm starting to scare myself." "(Gun shot echoes)" "Bloodnofsky:" "Gentlemen." "The reign of Bloodnofsky starts tonight." "Hey." "(Screams) Get out of here!" "I'm sorry," "I don't know what a minx is." "Look, please." "Just listen to me." "Kato lied about us, okay." "You should have found that out before you just go and fire me." "Nothing happened?" "No." "Oh thank god." "I knew it, I knew nothing happened." "That ass." "He said you did this." "What, what is that?" "I don't know, but I knew it was a lie." "Lenore:" "That's disgusting." "It's gross." "That's not why I'm here, look." "I need you to come back and work for me." "I'll do whatever you want, I'll double your salary." "Please, things at the Sentinel?" "Not what they seem." "As soon as Scanlon started running for election, my father stopped printing news about hard crime." "He was making Scanlon look good." "And I, I have to make it right." "And I realized that if I want to do what's best." "For this world, that the Daily Sentinel is the most responsible way to do that." "Britt:" "Here's the problem." "I don't know anything about journalism" "Lenore:" "That's the truth." "I need somebody that does." "I need someone that I can trust with my life." "Just...okay?" "I need someone who is you." "I need you." "Will you please help me?" "Britt, I..uh." "I know, I know." "Oh my god!" "(Grunts, moan)" "Lenore:" "What is your problem?" "God!" "Why did you do that to me?" "Because you tried to kiss me." "Yeah, we were going to make out." "No we weren't." "Well then I guess I owe you an apology." "'Cause I misread that." "As usual." "Okay, look." "I'm sorry, I didn't plan on kissing you." "When I said all that I still mean it." "Will you come back and work for me, please?" "Pretty please." "Double my salary." "And I want a parking spot." "You don't have a parking spot?" "No." "Wow, that sucks." "And if you ever so much as look at my ass again." "I can't even see your ass." "I will sue you for sexual harassment." "Do you understand?" "Hugs?" "Britt:" "Where's the hugs at, ya all?" "(Lock clicks)" "(Tapping of keys on keyboard)" "(Three beeps for deletion)" "(Two beeps)" "(Phone rings)" "Britt Reid's office." "Frank Scanlon." "Oh, please hold." "D.A. Scanlon" "Really?" "Yes." "Hello." "Hey Britt, it's Scanlon." "Uh, listen." "I think I owe you an apology." "Bloodnofsky's voice:" "Too much blood in the gutter." "You win." "Let's split L.A." "You get the L. I get the A." "That means we share the gold and the work." "Bloodnofsky's voice:" "One million dollars for today." "Scanlon:" "Um, I think you misunderstood where I was coming from, there." "I'd just like a chance to clarify some things." "Things are pretty clear, Scanlon." "I got three words for you." "Suck it you dick face." "(Lenore franticly whispers "NO, NO"!" ")" "Look, you're gonna tell him that you want to meet him." "This is journalism, okay." "You want to be an investigative report, what you have to do is investigate." "Tell him that you want to meet him," "Scanlon on phone:" "Hello?" "(Whispers) Okay, you're right, okay." "Scanlon on phone:" "Hello?" "(Whispers) Watch this." "I was joking." "Um, yeah, uh why don't we get together and just talk about things." "That's probably a good idea, okay?" "Why don't we meet up for dinner, a little place called 'Gonpachi..." "Scanlon on phone:" "Hibachi', a nice little place on La Cienega drive, around 8:30." "La Cienega, 8:30." "(Motorcycle revs down street)" "(Broken glass tinkles on floor)" "Scanlon shouts:" "Britt!" "(Sound of sizzling and metal spatula's hitting grills)" "Hey, Frank." "Hi, Britt." "Good to see you." "I'm having a sake, what are you having?" "Yeah, I'll have a sake, sure." "Well, thanks for coming, Britt." "No problem." "(Roaring of car engine, screeching of tires)" "Mr. Chudnofsky." "Bloodnofsky." "Blood-nofsky." "I commissioned, The Green Hornet." "You're the chauffeur." "Partner." "Where's, The Hornet?" "Kato:" "Right there." "Thug:" "Whoa, we only get half the team?" "Who says you're the good half?" "(Pots clatter)" "Where's Reid?" "Guess." "Oh." "Any of you move." "You're dead." "I'm not actually here for forgiveness, Britt." "I don't understand." "Yeah, you understand nothing." "So I'm going to explain it you very simply." "If you ever come across any article regarding a major crime?" "A man named Benjamin Chudnofsky, or anything that makes this city think, that I'm not the fine line protecting the light from the darkness." "You're going to bring it to me. and I'm going to tell you whether it's okay for you to print in your stupid little newspaper." "That's how I did it with your dad." "Scanlon:" "And that's how you and I are going to do it." "Scanlon, you're saying you want me to let you write the news?" "(Relieved exhale)" "Finally." "You understand." "Yep, I understand all right." "Here's one I understand." "That you son, just got played." "By a player." "Recording device, USB." "No, you can't have it." "It's mine." "You stupid schmuck." "I got you by the balls, Scanlon." "I run a newspaper, genius." "This is going on the front page tomorrow." "Oh yeah." "I got to say I'm kind of impressed with this." "You should, it's impressive." "But it's not going to do you any good." "How could it not do me good?" "Are you going to kill me in the middle of this restaurant?" "Yes." "What, you're going to murder me?" "Yeah." "Like I murdered your father." "What's that, my Dad was not murdered." "He, he died of a bee sting." "No, no." "Your father died from an overdose of epitoxin." "Most commonly found in a bee sting." "In which he also happened to be allergic to." "Britt, that epitoxin,... was administered by me." "Shit!" "James Reid:" "Think Britt." "You can figure this out, my son." "With your brains." "I am so stunned." "James:" "That's right, think." "Slowly.." "Britt:" "Okay." "Two years ago Scanlon decides to run for D.A." "He goes on the platform that he's cleaning up the street of L.A." "Which is impossible." "So, he asks the media to slight the news." "Britt:" "And you go along with it, like everybody else?" "James:" "No." "James:" "I, I refused." "Britt:" "So he...shit what does he do?" "So Scanlon decides to go really dirty, he makes a pact with a criminal." "Chudnofsky kills your reporter, Verbi,..." "Vertolli?" "James:" "I didn't want anymore bloodshed." "So I stopped reporting on crime." "To be honest in the last few years, this paper has dipped in quality and ambition." "Britt:" "Now, Scanlon can hold up his part of the deal, of keeping the media under control and..." "Chudnofsky can do whatever he wants." "But Chudnofsky had a different plan." "He wanted to take over all the gangs of L.A." "So that's when you decided to cut the strings." "James:" "I couldn't look myself in the mirror." "I hated every word I said to you that morning, Britt." "Britt:" "So you start reporting on crime again." "And now Scanlon is a dead man unless he proves he's still in control." "He has no choice but to organize a secret meeting with you." "And he kills you himself." "In the end, you stood up for what's right, Dad." "Now I have to do the same." "I can see by that stupid expression you've had on your face for the past five minutes," "That you're trying to piece this together." "But it's no good." "You're about to killed by, The Green Hornet." "What?" "(People scream in fear)" "Man:" "It's the Green Hornet's sidekick." "2nd man:" "He's got a gun." "Bluff!" "Bluff!" "Eradicate." "Before you do this, I want you to know that I'm sorry." "Britt:" "I'm sorry for everything." "(Whispers) I forgive you." "Hey, not me." "Him stupid." "Confused, you should be." "Go, go." "Britt:" "Let's go.." "(Machine gun fire and women screaming)" "Britt:" "We're cornered." "You know what happen when you fool with a hornet?" "No." "You get stung." "Oh, shit." "(Screaming, explosion with falling debris)" "Kato:" "See, back-ups." "Britt:" "Go, go, go, go!" "What the hell happened?" "Bloodnofsky:" "Get in the car." "He was suppose to kill Britt Reid, he's shooting at me." "(Screams) Get in the vehicle." "(Motorcycles roar)" "Are you okay?" "Kato:" "Britt?" "Britt:" "Yeah, I'm fine." "My outfit's back here." "Bloodnofsky:" "Britt Reid is the Green Hornet." "Yeah I know." "You hired a guy to kill himself." "Britt Reid recorded the whole conversation on some Sushi drive USB." "We can't loose him." "We're not loosing him, we're following him." "Oh Kato, thank you buddy." "You were so good, thank you." "Really?" "Yes.." "Your house?" "No." "Here's the deal, Kato." "We've got to get this flash drive to the Sentinel." "It's got Scanlon spilling-the-beans on it." "We're going to put it on the net." "It's what my father would have wanted." "You like your father, now?" "Yes, you see he wasn't a dick after all." "Well, he was a dick." "Just not really how we thought he was." "At the end he wasn't a dick...it's called gay." "I'll explain later, okay." "It's a lot of conflicting emotions, Kato." "Let's roll, Reid." "(Tires screech as they turn the corner)" "Britt:" "Here's' the thing, Kato." "Honestly, I've been jealous of you this entire time." "You're awesome." "Uh, huh." "You built this whole car." "I know." "You know karate." "You're charming." "Kato:" "Thank you." "Britt:" "These guys are amazingly well organized." "(Bullet's ricocheting off of Black Beauty) (Brakes screech)" "Yes, yes!" "Backups on the side." "Orders." "Put the door on, here." "(Screams)" "The other side." "Your turn!" "(Men in truck scream in fear)" "Britt:" "Oh shit." "We lost them." "He's gone. ..." "He's gone." "Yeah." "Britt:" "Shit, he's back." "Kato:" "You gotta be kidding me." "These guys are good." "Over there." "Over there, over there." "We're not going to make it." "We're not going to make it through." "We're not going to make it." "Waa...yeah we're going to make it." "That's a very big gun." "(Bullet's ricochet off Black Beauty)" "Kato, be careful." "Take the wheel." "Britt:" "What?" "Take the wheel." "I can't drive this thing." "Yes you can." "Britt:" "Nun chucks, that was my idea." "Britt:" "Hey, hey where you going?" "Thug:" "Uh!" "Thug:" "Ow!" "What are you doing?" "What are you doing up there?" "(Shattering glass)" "Shit, shit!" "Kato, Jesus." "I don't know what anything does." "Why didn't you do this in English?" "(Thug moans)" "(Speaks Chinese)" "Britt:" "Why don't you say it in English." "Kato:" "Closer." "Britt:" "Yes on that." "Kato:" "Hang one left." "Britt:" "I'm just ready to ..." "Britt:" "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." "Kato shouts:" "Turn it off." "I don't know what to do." "Kato shouts:" "Turn off." "Britt:" "I'll just stop it." "Britt:" "Ah, I stopped it." "Britt:" "I'm sorry." "(Truck's horn walls)" "Kato:" "Shoot foam" "Britt:" "Hey, it's okay." "Next time, don't touch anything." "Kato, look." "We made it." "Kato, we made it." "Yeah." "Yeah!" "I can't." "Okay, that's cool." "Britt:" "Oh, we're screwed." "(Glass shattering)" "Thug:" "Come on!" "Hurry up." "Britt:" "Ah, whoops." "Did you drop it?" "..." "Shit!" "Yes." "Kato:" "You get it." "I'll cover you." "Britt:" "Wish me luck." "Good luck." "(Deep rattling from Machine Gun, bullet's bounce off girders)" "(Sound of distant gunfire)" "Bloodnofsky saying inside of mask:" "Dear Hornet, Be it my mask, or your blood." "Red will be the last..." "Britt Reid, there he is." "(Hiss and puff)" "Thug:" "Go!" "Scanlon:" "Get him." "Bloodnofsky:" "Let me shoot him." "Britt moans:" "Oh, no." "Thug:" "Shoot to kill." "You brought a gas mask." "Bloodnofsky:" "Of course I brought a gas mask." "Just for yourself." "Aaaah!" "Oomph!" "(Beeping from paper movers)" "Bloodnofsky:" "There!" "Scanlon:" "He's behind the paper." "Over here." "This fog's up." "Scanlon:" "There." "Kato!" "Britt:" "Kato, save me." "(Revs The Black Beauty's engine)" "(Hiss and puff)" "Bloodnofsky:" "Hah, I'm ungassable." "(Engine roars)" "That was incredibly dangerous." "Drop me by the elevators." "I'll take it from here." "Kato:" "No, we stay together." "Hey, get in the front seat." "Kato:" "Quick, quick." "(Car groans as it falls)" "Scanlon:" "Tenth floor, tenth floor." "Britt:" "What's the worse, what's the worse, missiles?" "Four missiles left." "Hornet gun?" "Britt:" "Check." "Machine guns?" "Kato:" "Check." "Does it drive?" "Front wheel drive." "(People screaming in fear)" "Man:" "Hey, get out of here." "(Women screaming)" "Britt:" "Okay, you can let me out of here." "Bazooka." "Guy with a bazooka." "(Machine gun fire)" "Missile." "Kato:" "Fire." "(Empty clips clatter) Man:" "Reload." "Kato, they're here." "Go be a journalist, I'll kick ass." "Scanlon:" "There, they are." "THERE!" "Man:" "Aw, shit!" "Come on." "Okay, I'm there." "Britt:" "One minute and this baby is going to all over the world." "Star...star...start up!" "Yeah!" "(Heavy breathing)" "(Punching sound)" "Bloodnofsky:" "Do you see him?" "Bloodnofsky:" "I can't see him." "(Whipping and sound of bone cracking)" "(Kato cries out)" "(Computer beeps warning)" "Oh, I'm so stupid!" "Scanlon:" "All right, Reid." "Hand over the thing." "Reid:" "You want it?" "Go get it." "(Sound of helicopter outside)" "Scanlon:" "Where is it?" "Where is it!" "I am Bloodnofsky." "Bloodnofsky:" "I've killed a thousand before, and I'll kill a thousand more." "Bloodnofsky:" "Now tremble before your death." "For be it my mask, or be it your blood." "Red will be the last color you'll ever see." "(Clicking as he focuses on weapons)" "(Thugs groan in slow motion)" "(Britt yells)" "Britt." "Britt?" "(Bloodnofsky screams)" "Hey!" "End of the road, Scanlon." "Scanlon:" "Okay, okay." "Let's just calm down." "Hand over the sushi." "Um, yeah, hand it over." "We can talk about this." "Police officer:" "On the ground now." "Scanlon:" "It's the Green Hornet." "Shoot him." "Police Officer:" "Get on the ground." "Shoot him!" "Police officer:" "Get on the floor." "Kato:" "Quick, quick." "I'm District Attorney Mike Scanlon." "That is the Green Hornet." "(Muffled talking)" "Kato, I screwed up." "Scanlon's going to get away, scott free." "Kato:" "No he's not." "Nooooooo!" "(Jet's fire)" "(Parachutes unfurl)" "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" "(People screaming, police radio's talking)" "(Britt moaning)" "Oh, OW!" "Whoa!" "(Record player plays classical music)" "Holy shit." "Ejector seats." "You actually built them." "Kato:" "It was a good idea." "Wow." "This is really scary" "A brutal high speed chase between the Green Hornet," "Male TV reporter: and rival gang members has led to the Daily Sentinel" "Lenore:" "I called it." "leaving a trail of demolished cars, and trucks in their path." "Britt:" "Here's the story." "We're on our way to a costume party." "Britt:" "Okay." "We gotta get out of our suits." "Where the hell are we going to go?" "Male TV announcer:" "No one knows why the District Attorney.." "(Lenore screams)" "(Britt moaning in pain)" "Kato:" "Lenore, stop!" "Britt:" "Stop, stop!" "Britt:" "Lenore!" "How do you guys know my name?" "It's us." "Kato." "Britt:" "It's me, huh?" "You assholes!" "(Gasps from spray)" "You assholes." "Lenore:" "What the hell are you doing dressed as criminals?" "You're criminals my god." "Kato:" "No we're not." "We're helping people." "Why did you ask me to do research on the Green Hornet, when you are the Green Hornet?" "We don't know what we're doing." "We need you to help us, don't you see." "You're the mastermind." "What?" "(Banging on door)" "Police officer:" "This is the police." "Please open up." "(Whispers) Please don't tell on us." "We were trying to be good people." "Don't do this." "Think about it." "Shut up!" "Hello officer, can I help you?" "We're looking for two masked men." "You seen anything?" "Yeah, of course." "Really?" "Yeah, they're all over the news." " All the time." "All right." "Well please report anything suspicious." "Absolutely." "You heartless stupid assholes." "You kiss him." "You kiss me." "Britt:" "We'll figure this out later, come on." "Don't kiss me." "I don't kissed him." "We don't kiss." "Britt:" "I have a bullet in me." "You know I didn't kiss." "You guys like kissing." "I don't see why." "I've been shot in the shoulder." "Well then go to the hospital." "No!" "Don't you see." "The police knows the Green Hornet was shot in the shoulder." "If I go to the hospital they'll know I'm the Green Hornet." "Lenore:" "Yeah you've been shot, eww." "Britt:" "Here's what I need." "I need a spatula to bite down on and a knife." "You gotta dig this bullet out of my meat." "Do it!" "Britt:" "I'm cold." "Britt:" "It's deep inside me." "Britt:" "Oh, God." "Spatula." "Ah, okay, okay." "(Mumbles) Make sure it's sterilized." "What?" "Sterilize it." "Please I don't want to get gangrene." "Play it safe, xiongdì." "Britt:" "Xiongdì," "Kato:" "Xiongdì forever." "Britt, it's hot." "Okay, I'm ready." "Okay just wait, just hurry, just start there." "Aaaaah!" "It hurts, okay I can't do it." "Take me to the hospital." "Shut up!" "Lenore:" "Hey look, if I'm the mastermind of this, just let me have a second of silence." "So I can figure this out, okay?" "Britt:" "Mere hours ago, The Green Hornet and a group of his criminal underlings, launched a horrendous attack on this building." "That claimed the life of District Attorney Frank Scanlon." "It's unfortunate but, you know, that's what happens." "The Daily Sentinel will be rebuilt." "And to start that off, I am naming Mike Axford the new Editor in chief." "Mike's a great guy he's comfortable telling me off." "So, he's the perfect man for the job." "Weeee, have to get this paper back to the ideals that my father started it on." "(Labored breath)" "I want to make him proud." "And I hope to make this city proud of the Daily Sentinel." "Like never before." "(Roar of cars engine)" "The Green Hornet sends his regards." "He got me, aaah." "Directly in the shoulder." "Man:" "Hey, The Green Hornet." "(Police siren's wail)" "Man:" "Get him to the hospital." "Lenore:" "He's shot in the shoulder." "We have to get him to the hospital right away." "(Whispers) It worked." "Ow." "(Black Beauty roars around corner)" "(Police sirens wail)" "*Green Hornet Theme*" "Kato." "Britt:" "KATO!" "Hey." "We have a secret mission." "Everything we've done up to now is complete and utter crap." "This is all that matters." "This...is...it." "Let's roll, Kato." "(Sparking and popping from welder)" "It's crooked." "Britt:" "He's kinda..." "Britt:" "He's kinda looking, uh..." "Katp:" "Down?" "Britt:" "That's fine." "Doesn't matter." "We did it." "We did." "The Green Hornet, his reliable partner," "The Blue Wombat." "(Groans) Oooh!" "Aw, man." "Britt:" "Okay, how about, umm..." "Britt:" "The Red Hippopotamus." "Britt:" "No?" "Not Red Hippopotamus?" "Kato:" "Hippo, not red." "Britt:" "I know, I'm trying..."