"VEHICLE APPROACHES" "(WHISTLES)" "Get a move on, Linda!" "OK, that'll do." "Did you bring the strongroom receipt?" "OK." "You'd better get back." "Hm?" "Now, Tony!" "Go!" "Get off it!" "(DOG BARKS)" "Hey!" "Hey, stop that!" "Stop that!" "The bag!" "Come on!" "Let go!" "Stop that, I say!" "Now, be careful, my dear." "Now come and sit down while I ring for the ambulance." "Oh!" "I'll look after you." "You've got nothing - Get off me, you old fool!" "DOG BARKS" "Magnificent." "Oh!" "What are you looking for, Joyce?" "My brushes." "Well, isn't that them there?" "What?" "Where?" "Behind you." "Where?" "In your bag." "Oh!" "Oh, yes." "Oh." "Are you all right?" "Well, it's my first day." "I'm a bit nervous." "Joyce, it's only the Causton Watercolour Society." "What have you got to be nervous about?" "Thanks." "Well, you know what I mean." "Anyway, you're gonna spend a lovely day in picturesque Midsomer Florey." "Suppose you're going to tell me there's been some grizzly murder there?" "No, I'm not." "As far as I know, Midsomer Florey is a haven of tranquillity." "Now then, everybody, this lovely lady is Joyce, our new member." "So let's do all we can to make her feel welcome." "And this is Midsomer Florey." "Now, you're probably thinking, "What is old Barrett Filby up to now, hm?" "This gorgeous place has been painted and photographed to death." "How on earth can we find a fresh way of looking at it?"" "Well, that is the challenge, my lovelies." "Coming up with your own unique interpretation." "Mr Pinkney." "Now find yourselves a spot, and I'll be round to have a word before you start." "But surely you can see my position." "Ah!" "Barnaby, isn't it?" "Oh, thank God." "Perhaps now I can get some sense out of you." "Major Teal." "The golf club." "You were a guest at the Jubilee dinner." "Oh, yes." "I remember that well." "So, Major Teal, what can I do for you?" "Er, come in." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Barrett." "I thought I'd concentrate on one small area today, like over there where my house is." "You follow your instincts, Ann, my darling." "Are we supposed to do a pencil sketch first?" "If that's what turns you on, Alan, old mate." "Would a 2B pencil be suitable?" "Um " "We've decided to work in gouache today." "Jolly good show, Mrs B." "Hm." "Hello, I'm Tessa Hawksley." "Joyce Barnaby." "Coming here was all Ann Carter's idea, I bet." "So she could show off her house." "It's not gonna be in my painting, I can tell you that." "Do you live here?" "God, no!" "We couldn't afford it." "So naturally I went to the woman's aid." "What did she do?" "Hurled me to the ground, called me all the names under the sun and ran me over." "She ran you over?" "Well, she came very close." "It was a damn near thing." "Poor woman!" "She was probably in shock." "She was extraordinarily handsome, as it happens." "Yeah, well, there seems to have a been a spate of these bag snatches in the Midsomer villages, Major Teal." "In fact we set up a special operation to deal with it." "Operation Pondlife." "In you go." "And this is Sergeant Troy, who's in charge of Operation Pondlife." "Major Teal, Sergeant Troy." "Major Teal witnessed a bag-snatching yesterday." "Sir, I've got all this paperwork." "Take a statement from him, please." "But " "A detailed statement." "Now, if you'll excuse me, Major Teal, got a business meeting to attend." "Of course." "Surely you're too young to be a sergeant." "They're making my husband take early retirement, you see." "What does he do?" "Colin's the manager of the local bank." "Oh!" "They're closing it down, of course." "It's going to be a wine bar." "Quite appropriate, really, seeing as Colin's taken to drink." "Oh." "Oh, dear." "Does yours?" "Does my what?" "Does your husband drink?" "Well, er, no." "He " "Most of them do, you know." "It's the only pleasure left to men of a certain age." "Well, I'm going to park myself here." "Nice talking to you, Joyce." "MAN WHISTLES A TUNE" "You can't go there." "Oh!" "You made me jump!" "That's my place." "Sorry?" "I've been working in this exact spot for six months." "Well, I'll find somewhere else." "Make sure it's well away from me." "I don't want you breathing down my neck." "Amateurs." "What did Major Teal have to say, then?" "Sounds like it was the same as the others." "(SIGHS) The scooter was stolen in Causton." "One hour later they grab this woman's bag in Midsomer Florey." "According to Teal, anyway." "What do you mean, according to Teal?" "Well, the woman, whoever she was, hasn't reported the theft." "Which seems pretty odd, considering she was also assaulted, according to Teal." "Will you stop saying that?" "Did he get the woman's registration number?" "No." "He was too busy lying in the middle of the road, admiring her ankles." "Troy, I hope you are taking Operation Pondlife seriously." "Oh, sir, a kid snatching handbags isn't really our job, is it?" "Yes, it is." "Street crime of this kind erodes people's confidence in us." "So it is important." "Sir." "MAN WHISTLES A TUNE" "Now then, Joyce, let's see what you've been up to." "I can't get the proportions right." "Oh, never mind that, my lovely." "Um, you've got to loosen up your drawing." "Look." "Hold the pencil... ..nearer the end, like this." "Now relax your wrist." "That's it." "Let the pencil guide you, not the other way round." "MAN WHISTLES" "(STOPS WHISTLING)" "(STARTS WHISTLING AGAIN)" "DOOR CLOSES" "Tony!" "Where are you going, darling?" "For a walk." "A walk, darling?" "Where?" "Oh, nowhere in particular, sweetheart." "I'm just gonna stretch my legs." "We'll be having lunch in the pub, Tony." "Why not join us?" "Super." "Can't wait." "And what is that supposed to be?" "It's the house, darling." "What do you think?" "What house?" "Try to be a bit more supportive, darling." "I think Ann's making real progress." "You think so, do you?" "Well, tell him, Barrett." "Yes." "Well, I-I think she's... ..definitely improving." "He's a little ray of sunshine, isn't he?" "(CHUCKLES) I'll see you in the pub." "Yeah." "Have a nice walk, darling." "I will, sweetheart." "Don't you worry." "What?" "Your passport photos were in that bag." "So?" "Look, the local police are thick as two short planks." "They're not gonna worry about the photos." "What else was in that bag?" "The camera and the binoculars and the strongroom receipt." "(GRUNTS)" "Well, the muggers, they're not gonna worry about the receipt." "They're gonna keep the camera and binoculars, then just chuck the bag away." "Look, it might already have been handed in." "You have got to report it." "Are you sure?" "Yeah." "Yes, I'm sure." "Have you had that looked at?" "You'd better get back to domestic bliss before Ann sends out a search party." "Just get the bloody receipt back, Linda." "I'm doing this for us, Tony." "I hope that hasn't slipped your mind." "Yeah, everything's gonna be fine." "Trust me." "I love you, don't I?" "Ah, morning, Tony." "Lovely day." "If you say so." "We're breaking for lunch now, Joyce." "Perhaps you'll join us in the Cock and Rabbit." "I'll be along in a minute." "They do a very fair ploughman's lunch." "Lovely." "MAN WHISTLES A TUNE" "Oh, my God!" "You sure you'll be all right?" "Yes, of course I will." "Sir, can I have a word?" "Sorry, Mrs Barnaby." "Oh, go." "You've both got work to do." "I'll be fine." "Don't worry." "I'll look after her." "Thank you." "Ta." "Already turned up someone with a record, sir." "Who?" "Barrett Filby, the artist chap." "Did eight months." "Told me himself." "He's terrified it'll get out and ruin his reputation." "What was the offence?" "Knocking out Constables." "Sorry, Troy?" "John Constable, the painter." "Filby was turning out ten a day in his garden shed." "Here, sir." "Ta." "Tom." "Only just noticed it." "Looks like one of her brushes." "Must have had it in her hand when she was attacked." "Nylon." "No. 9." "And George?" "Stab wound in the back by the look of it, Tom." "Shan't know any more till I get her on the slab." "Let me know when you find anything." "Will do." "Have you got anything on her?" "Her name's Ruth Fairfax, sir." "Bit of a mystery woman." "She moved into the village about six months ago, rented a flat, kept herself to herself." "No family or friends that anyone knows about." "She came down here every day to paint, rain or shine." "Well, let's go look at the flat, see if we can discover something more about Miss Fairfax." "(WHISTLES)" "DOOR CLOSES" "Poor old Ruth Fairfax, eh?" "Who'd want to harm a nice old lady like that?" "What's going on, Tony?" "Well, there's some nutter on the loose, I suppose." "I mean with you." "You're up to something, Tony, and I want to know " "(MOUTHS WORDS)" "There's something I want to show you in the garden, dear." "No!" "Don't ever, ever discuss our private affairs in the house." "You know what I think, Tony?" "I think you made it up about the house being bugged so you don't have to tell me anything." "Of course it's bugged!" "The police are watching us all the time." "It's for our own safety, Tony." "In case any of your old friends find out where we are." "Oh, I've had four years of looking over my shoulder every minute of the day." "It's starting to get to me, that's all." "Is there something you're not telling me?" "Like what?" "The past few weeks, you've been like a caged animal." "You'd better not be planning to run out on me, Tony Carter." "Why would I do that?" "I love you, don't I?" "Everything's gonna be fine." "You just trust me, hm?" "DOORBELL RINGS" "Mrs Metcalfe?" "Yes." "Afternoon to you." "I'm Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby." "This is Detective Sergeant Troy." "I suppose this is about poor Ruth Fairfax." "Did she talk about her family?" "No, she never wanted to chat." "Thank God." "I've got enough to do without standing around gossiping all day." "Did she have any friends in the village?" "Not that I know of." "Kept herself to herself." "Very polite, mind you." "Most of the time." "Most of the time?" "Well, there was a bit of a to-do last week." "What kind of a to-do?" "A pipe under her bedroom basin was leaking, so I had Mike Wetherby in to sort it out." "Mike Wetherby?" "He's the local handyman." "Anyway, Miss Fairfax came back early from her painting, found Mike in her bedroom and fairly let fly at him." "Why?" "She accused him of going through her things or something." "Well, thank you, Mrs Metcalfe." "You can leave us to it now, if you'd be so kind." "DOOR CLOSES" "No address book by the phone." "No mail." "No happy family snapshots." "Just a load of pictures." "Hm." "All exactly the same." "Not very good either, are they?" "Maybe the murderer was an art lover, sir." "Check the bedroom." "Sir." "Sir..." "Yep." "Funny-looking make-up." "That's theatrical make-up, that, Troy." "The stuff actors use." "MOBILE PHONE RINGS" "Hello?" "Yeah, he's here." "George Bullard, sir." "George, what can I do for you?" "'Get over here right away, Tom." "There's something I want to show you.'" "George." "Ah, good." "What is it?" "Once you know, it's obvious." "What do you mean, once you know?" "Observe." "(Oh, God.)" "And observe this." "I believe that's what's known as a fat suit in theatrical circles." "And that's theatrical make-up, isn't it?" "Yes." "Damn good, isn't it?" "And plain glass in the specs, I think." "So the deceased isn't a short, dumpy old lady who needs support socks." "She's a fit, attractive 30-something with a flair for disguise." "What about cause of death?" "As I said, there appears to be a stab wound in the back." "Haven't had a proper look at it." "I wanted you to see her with her disguise first." "Come back tomorrow and I'll have a better idea." "Good work." "Troy." "I think we've found the murder weapon, sir." "A carpenter's chisel, covered in blood." "Sharp too, by the look of it." "Where did you find it?" "About 30 yards away in the bushes." "That's good work." "You get it down Forensics right away." "Anyone see anything?" "No." "We've drawn a blank so far." "One minute she was sitting at her easel painting away, the next, Mrs Barnaby found her in the bushes." "Where is Mrs Barnaby?" "She's been taken home by one of the Watercolour Society people, a Mrs Hawksley." "Hey, listen to this." "It seems that Ruth Fairfax was more of a mystery lady than we realised." "How do you mean, sir?" "She was a young woman of 30 expertly disguised as someone twice her age." "What?" "I'll get back to the mortuary first thing tomorrow morning, see what George Bullard can tell us about that chisel." "And you, you go back to Ruth Fairfax's flat, take another look round." "See if you can find something, anything that might tell us what she was up to." "Sir." "What about the handyman, Mike Wetherby?" "Oh, I'm gonna talk to him now." "He's in the pub." "Apparently it's his second home." "Now, tomorrow, I want all the witnesses back here on the green." "We'll reconstruct all their movements down to the last detail." "Sir." "Somebody must have seen something." "Then Colin was moved to the branch in Midsomer Florey." "Being sent to a backwater like that was a terrible blow to his pride." "That's when the drinking started." "By that time, the marriage was pretty well over already." "Well, the more intimate side of it, if you get my meaning." "Men of a certain age, well, alcohol just kills that off." "DOOR OPENS Oh, good!" "There's Tom." "Joyce!" "Joyce, are you all right?" "I'm fine." "Mrs Hawksley's been marvellous." "There's some tea in the pot, if you'd like some." "Oh, good God, no." "I need a drink." "Anyone join me?" "It's far too early for me." "Tessa's husband is the manager of the Shires bank at Midsomer Florey." "Really?" "Not for much longer." "It's being turned into a wine bar called the Overdraft." "(CHUCKLES)" "I suppose that passes for humour in the catering business." "We're asking you back to the scene of the crime tomorrow, Mrs Hawksley." "Just to double-check the sequence of events." "That's all right." "We'll be back there anyway, painting away." "We're doing it for charity, so Barrett Filby wants us to soldier on." "Well, we'll try to take up not too much of your time." "Oh." "Colin's volunteered to do the auction." "I'm dreading it." "He'll get tight and make an ass of himself." "As usual." "Well, nice to have met you, Chief Inspector." "Despite the circumstances." "And you." "Thank you for looking after Joyce." "Oh!" "I'll see you tomorrow." "Bye." "Thanks again." "DOOR CLOSES" "I thought she'd never go." "Um, are you sure you want another drink?" "Yes, why?" "George." "Good morning, Tom!" "What can I do for you?" "Morning to you." "You were gonna give me some more on Ruth Fairfax." "She's gone." "What do you mean, she's gone?" "She was moved first thing, didn't you know?" "No, no, I did not know." "Who moved her?" "The investigating officer is, let me see..." "Detective Inspector Mark Gudgeon." "I'm the investigating officer." "Not according to this." "The paperwork was all in order, and I had a call from on high." "Very on high, Tom." "But who is Mark Gudgeon?" "I've never heard of the feller." "TELEPHONE RINGS Where have they taken her?" "I've no idea." "It was all very hush-hush." "Bullard." "Yes, I'll tell him." "That was Sergeant Troy." "Wants you to go round to Ruth Fairfax's flat." "Says it's urgent." "(RINGS DOORBELL)" "Sir." "You're not gonna believe this." "And the bedroom?" "The same, sir." "Not a trace of Ruth Fairfax left." "I didn't know what to do." "It's OK, Mrs Metcalfe." "It's not your fault." "Who was it?" "Um, a DS Noland and a DC Backley." "Acting on the orders of Detective Inspector Mark " "Gudgeon?" "Yes, sir." "Gudgeon." "I think we'd better go back to the station, Troy." "Find out exactly what is going on here." "And stop worrying about getting every flipping detail right, because you're going to load up your brushes with tons of gorgeous colour and start laying down big, bold washes." "Good morning." "I'm Detective Sergeant Noland." "This is Detective Constable Backley." "May we have your attention, please?" "PHONE RINGS" "Troy." "Yes, sir." "He's here, sir." "Thank you, sir." "(MOUTHS WORDS)" "Barnaby speaking." "Yes, sir." "But, s..." "Very well, sir." "What did he say?" "I am no longer in charge of the investigation into Ruth Fairfax's murder, Troy." "Why not?" "The fact that my wife is a possible witness might, um, compromise me." "Well, he's got a point there." "Not that you would allow it to, of course, sir." "I am being replaced by a Detective Inspector Mark Gudgeon." "Gudgeon?" "He's the bloke who - Yes, he is." "Head of a special team from the National Intelligence Squad." "The National Intelligence Squad?" "Really?" "Yes, really." "So what do we do now?" "Well, you, you are still on the case, Troy." "You have to report to a Detective Sergeant Noland in Midsomer Florey." "You mean, I'm working with the NIS?" "Well, you'll be liaising with them, yeah." "Ha!" "Of course, I'd much rather be working with you, sir." "Don't worry, Troy." "It's a great opportunity." "Make the most of it." "Thank you." "KNOCK AT DOOR Come in." "Er, Hello." "I'm looking for Sergeant Troy." "Oh, that's me." "I'd, um, I'd like to report a bag-snatching." "Ah." "The thing is..." "The thing is," "I suppose I ought to be getting back to Midsomer Florey, sir." "To liaise." "Yes, so you should, Troy." "You go and, er, liaise." "Oh, I'm sorry." "Please, sit you down." "Yes!" "And then one of them hit me in the face, so I let go of the bag." "There was a witness to that, wasn't there?" "Was there?" "Yes, an elderly gentleman." "He says he tried to help you." "(CHUCKLES)" "But you just pushed him out of the way and drove off." "Um, I don't remember." "I..." "I was frightened and dizzy from the attack." "That probably explains why you didn't report the robbery sooner, yeah?" "Yes." "I was in a terrible state, I thought I might be concussed." "Hm." "See the doctor?" "No, not straight away." "I went home." "I was in shock, I just wanted to lie down." "Then did you see the doctor?" "No, I felt a bit better after a rest, so in the end I didn't bother." "'Course, I understand." "Um, what was in the bag, Mrs Tyrell?" "There were some papers from my bank, which are important." "Paperwork from ba..." "What sort of paperwork was that?" "Oh, the usual." "Some statements and letters." "And a strongroom receipt." "Strongroom receipt?" "Anything else?" "No, not really." "Oh, a camera." "What sort of camera?" "A Polaroid." "And some binoculars." "Polaroid camera and binoculars?" "I'm house-hunting." "They come in very useful." "Oh, I see." "That's what you were doing up by the wood, was it?" "Hunting for houses?" "Yes." "Well...well, not exactly, no." "I stopped to get a map out of the boot and..." "Look, I don't care about the camera and the binoculars, but the papers are important." "Maybe someone's found the bag and handed it in." "Well, it won't take long to find out, will it, Mrs Tyrell?" "It's a lovely part of the world." "Where?" "Round Midsomer Florey." "I wouldn't know." "Stolen Property, please." "I assumed that's why you were house-hunting in the area." "BELLS CHIME" "Colin, are you going to get out of the car?" "It's this, um, damned flu." "I can't seem to shake it off." "I'm sure you've got some nice medicine hidden away in the bank." "DOOR RELEASE BUZZES" "BOTH:" "Good morning, Mr Hawksley!" "Morning!" "Mrs Partridge," "I shall be working downstairs in the strongroom this morning." "Do not disturb me unless absolutely necessary." "Yes, Mr Hawksley." "Thank you." "DOOR RELEASE BUZZES" "Now then, how's my favourite student getting on?" "Oh, well, I'm quite pleased with some of my washes, Barrett." "I'm not surprised." "Look at all this gorgeous, gorgeous brushwork!" "I could eat it up!" "(GIGGLES) Could you, Barrett?" "So tell me, what..." "what's this DI Mark Gudgeon like?" "He didn't show up." "We were interviewed by a DS and a DC." "Did they stage a reconstruction?" "No, they just asked a lot of questions." "The person they were most interested in was this handyman chap." "Mike Wetherby?" "Yes." "He's a bit of a boozer, according to the locals." "That's what Troy said, yeah." "The irony is, he's the one person whose movements I can be pretty sure of." "Why's that?" "Because of my drawing." "Here." "That's Mike Wetherby, working on the Carters' house." "Was he there all morning?" "Yes." "And you were doing this right up to the time you found Ruth Fairfax?" "Yeah." "The last thing I did was draw the hands on the clock." "Look, says 20-to-one." "And I checked it with my watch." "Hardly enough time for Mike Wetherby to get across the green, kill her, then get back up his ladder, is it?" "You told them this?" "Yes." "But I'd left the drawing here." "Well, you take it in tomorrow, show them." "And, er, Joyce, will you keep your eyes open, tell me what's going on?" "I hope you're not going to interfere, Tom." "Interfere?" "Of course I'm not going to interfere." "Good morning, Troy." "How's it going?" "Great, sir." "Doing a house-to-house?" "Deep background, actually." "Deep background." "And what might that be?" "Sorry, sir, I'm not supposed to discuss the investigation with anyone outside the team." "Oh, I see." "What's this DI Mark Gudgeon like, then?" "I haven't met him yet." "The boss has got a lot on his plate at the moment." "The boss, Troy?" "So what are you doing in Midsomer Florey, sir?" "Operation Pondlife, Troy." "Got to do something about these bag snatchings, haven't we?" "Just wanted to make sure we hadn't missed anything, you know?" "What was Mike Wetherby working on in here then?" "A leaking pipe." "There, under the basin." "He had to take out one of the panels at the back." "Antibiotics." "Belonging to Angela Browning." "Does that name mean anything to you?" "No, not a thing." "These were prescribed ten days ago." "Did Ruth Fairfax have any visitors recently?" "No, not recently." "Not ever, in fact." "Are you sure?" "Quite sure." "If she'd had visitors, I would've known about it, believe me." "Ah, Barnaby!" "Major Teal, the very man." "Could you spare me a minute, please?" "Of course." "Anything to help clear up this horrible murder." "It's about the mugging you witnessed, actually." "The victim reported it yesterday." "Ah!" "Blonde, good-looking." "Rather fine ankles." "Could you tell me, please, exactly where did the mugging take place?" "She was parked in Leverets Lane, up behind the wood." "Drive through the village and turn right, or take the footpath across the green." "It's a pleasant walk." "Oh!" "God, you made me jump!" "So what happened?" "The bag hasn't been handed in." "Are you sure, Linda?" "Yes!" "Now let go, you're hurting me." "What is the matter with you?" "Nothing." "It's just there's...police crawling all over the village." "Yes, well, that's nothing to do with us." "How do you know?" "That old girl that was knocked off, there was something funny about her." "What do you mean, funny?" "She has been sitting down there on the village green for six months, staring at my house." "Tony, Tony, stop it." "I hate it when you're like this." "Somebody is after me, Linda." "It could be one of our lot, could be the police." "I don't know which shoulder to look over anymore." "Yes, well, our lot are all safely tucked up in prison, OK?" "That's him." "That's the copper I reported the mugging to." "That's Barnaby!" "You told him about the bag?" "So what if I did?" "Tony, Tony, what are you doing?" "I'm gonna sort him out." "SIREN BLARES" "Are you out of your mind?" "This is no time to go bashing policemen on the head!" "Did you tell him about the strongroom receipt?" "Of course I did!" "You told me to report it!" "Not to him!" "He is a chief inspector!" "And now you've got him sniffing around us!" "Tony, that receipt belongs to my husband." "Someone hands it in, the police have got to give it to me." "Well, it had better turn up soon, because I am that close, that close to losing it." "MAN:" "What's going on, huh?" "I don't know what it's all about." "I'm just a painter and decorator." "Oh, yes, they charged him with murder, all right." "I heard them caution him." "What, Mike Wetherby?" "Stabbed her in the back with a chisel!" "Well, I'm very surprised." "So am I." "SIREN BLARES" "Hello." "You missed all the excitement." "They've arrested Mike Wetherby." "Yeah, I know, I saw him being driven away." "You shown anyone your drawing?" "Yes, first thing this morning." "The Detective Constable." "What did he say?" "He said he'd get back to me when he had a window." "A window." "Whatever that means." "It means he's not interested." "Troy here?" "I think I saw him go into the pub." "TEAL:" "Same old story, every day." "MAN:" "Live in hope, I suppose." "Barnaby, eh?" "LAUGHTER 17 days it was." "17." "No, it was 17 days all up." "You're joking!" "You don't get that around here, I tell you." "You should come round." "That'd be great." "Brilliant." "Afternoon, gentlemen." "Hello, sir." "This is James Noland, Simon Backley." "Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby." "Heard a lot about you, sir." "Perhaps I could buy you a drink, sir?" "No, thanks, not at the minute." "Could I have a word, please, Troy?" "Oh, sir, how's it going on Operation, um, what's it called?" "Pondlife." "Yeah, that's it." "Fine, thank you." "Good show, sir." "Its very important for the community, that sort of policing." "Yes, yes, it is." "But Joyce was watching Wetherby all the morning." "She's even got a drawing of him working on the Carters' house with the clock showing 20-to-one." "Sir, the murder weapon belongs to Wetherby, he admitted it." "And his prints are all over it." "They would be if it's his, wouldn't they?" "Troy, someone could have stolen the chisel from his van." "He's a binge drinker who goes looking for trouble when he's drunk." "He's spent so many nights in Causton nick they've named a cell after him." "Yes, drunken scuffles outside the pub at closing time." "It's a bit different from killing someone with a chisel in broad daylight, isn't it?" "And he had that big bust-up with Ruth Fairfax." "Apparently he's been sounding off in the pub about getting even with her." "It's just pub gossip, isn't it, Troy?" "Please, sir, I'm not supposed to discuss it with anyone." "Yeah, all right, all right, I've said my piece." "Joyce, show Troy your drawing." "Oh, that's funny." "What's wrong?" "It's gone!" "Look." "Are you sure the drawing was in this sketch book?" "Yes, of course." "Sorry, I've got to dash." "Thank you anyway, Mrs Barnaby." "Did you tell anyone else about the drawing, apart from the police?" "I might have told the others." "What others?" "The Watercolour Society." "KNOCK AT DOOR Come!" "Ah, Troy." "How's it going?" "Making good progress." "Noland and Backley are interviewing Mike Wetherby." "They're going to let me sit in later." "Lucky you." "How about Detective Inspector Mark Gudgeon?" "You met him yet?" "Oh, not yet, sir." "He's sort of overseeing the whole operation." "It's very complex." "Oh, it must be." "Oh, this is just in, sir." "Some kids stole a scooter in Causton this morning and crashed it." "One of them got away, but the other one's in hospital with a broken leg." "Could be your bag-snatchers." "Yes, it could, Troy." "Thank you, thank you very much." "This could be the breakthrough I've been looking for." "Oh, almost forgot." "You'd better take these." "What are they, sir?" "Those are Angela Browning's antibiotics." "I found them in her flat." "Sorry?" "Angela Browning - that's Ruth Fairfax's real name." "Detective Constable Angela Browning, to be exact." "30 years old, and at the time of her death attached to the National Intelligence Squad." "Didn't your new colleagues tell you that?" "That's odd, isn't it?" "Well, I'm off to the hospital." "Thank you for this." "Where were you off to this morning?" "Another of your mysterious walks?" "I had to get out." "The police were all over the shop." "It's nothing to do with us." "They were after Mike Wetherby." "Good job too!" "Had enough of him hanging about the house every day." "Don't start that nonsense again!" "It's this bloody village." "It's not the village, it's you, Tony." "You're paranoid." "What if we could get out of here, Ann?" "Find somewhere in the sun, nobody watching us and live even better?" "And how are we going to do that?" "Just answer the question." "Oh, Tony." "You haven't found it?" "You haven't found the money?" "Keep it down, for crying out loud!" "I knew you were up to something!" "It's not done and dusted yet." "We've gotta keep our heads down, be very, very careful." "This is fantastic!" "What did I tell you?" "(SNIFFS)" "Hold that thought." "Great." "Now, I'm all for a bit of adventure, you know I am... ..but you're getting a teensy bit slap-dash, my lovely." "Oh!" "I'm sorry, Barrett." "It's because I'm so excited." "And what's got you so hot and bothered, I wonder?" "I think he's found it." "What?" "Are you sure?" "Well, he hasn't got it yet, but he knows where it is." "What is it you're always saying to me, Barrett?" "Hm?" "Carpe diem, my lovely." "Seize the day." "Right." "So we'd better be ready." "Yes!" "Might I suggest the south of France?" "We can follow in the footsteps of Matisse and Picasso!" "To hell with art, Barrett." "I want you all for myself." "And I don't just mean for painting lessons." "Mm." "MAN WHISTLES" "LOUD MUSIC THROUGH HEADPHONES" "Who are you?" "!" "I'm Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby, Jason." "I didn't know the bike was stolen." "Oh, come on, Jason, I'm not here about a stolen scooter." "You're not?" "No, I'm not." "When you snatched that bag from that woman in that lane, you made a big mistake, Jason." "Cos you hit her, and that puts you in a different league." "That is robbery with violence." "You've never been to prison, have you Jason?" "Richie hit her, not me!" "She wouldn't let go of the bag, so he whacked her!" "Thank you, Jason, that's very helpful." "I didn't hit her." "There's one more thing you can do for me." "That bag you stole, what did you do with it?" "WPC Smith leaves the room." "Interview recommences 16:51." "Mr Wetherby, tell us about the argument you had with Ruth Fairfax." "Shouldn't my solicitor be here?" "He's on his way." "You don't have to answer any questions if you don't want to." "Look, Mrs Metcalfe let me in the flat to repair a pipe in the bedroom." "Then Ruth Fairfax turns up and starts shouting the odds." "What did she say, exactly?" "She accused me of being a thief." "Bloody cheek of the woman!" "She upset you." "Too right she did." "You were drinking in the Cock and Rabbit that night." "Witnesses heard you talking about how you were going to put Ruth Fairfax right." "What did you mean by that?" "Well, I reckoned she owed me an apology, that's what I meant." "I've been called lots of things, but I'm not a thief and I'm not a bloody murderer neither!" "Mike." "How long have you been working at the Carter's house?" "Ten days or so." "And you always parked your van outside the house?" "Yeah." "Ever leave it unlocked, Mike?" "Probably, yeah." "Interview terminated by DC Backley at 16:53 hours." "What are you playing at?" "I'm worried about the chisel." "If he left the van unlocked, somebody could have " "You're here as an observer, Sergeant." "I will not have you undermining a carefully planned interview." "Now get out!" "Please." "DOOR SLAMS" "Looking for clues, Barnaby?" "This document has the name of this branch on it, Mr Hawksley." "I was wondering if you're able to tell me what it is." "Yes, it's a receipt for an item deposited in our strongroom." "Funnily enough, I've been trying to contact Mr Tyrell." "Why's that?" "This branch is closing down, Inspector." "Mrs Partridge, Mr Miller and myself, we find ourselves surplus to requirements." "Yes, Midsomer Florey will no longer have its own bank." "Instead it will have a wine bar." "Serving cocktails." "And an eclectic Pacific cuisine." "Now then, Mr Hawksley, deep breaths." "(BREATHS DEEPLY)" "Thank you, Mrs Partridge, thank you." "(CLEARS THROAT)" "So we've been notifying depositors that they must remove their possessions from our strongroom by the end of the week." "And Mr Tyrell hasn't responded?" "No." "No, he hasn't." "Well, perhaps he's moved or forgotten." "You'd be surprised how many people do." "(CLEARS THROAT) Though I am rather baffled in this case." "Why, why is that?" "Well, the item in question is rather large." "There it is." "Early Victorian." "Erm, I'm not very good at furniture." "It's locked, presumably." "Oh, yes." "Have you got a key?" "No, that would remain with the owner." "Mr Hawksley, thank you, thank you very much for your time." "Yes." "Would you mind, um, letting yourself out?" "I've got some work to finish off down here." "No, no, certainly." "Thank you again." "Pleasure." "KNOCK AT DOOR Inspector Barnaby?" "Come in." "Mrs Tyrell!" "Thank you for dropping by." "Take a seat." "I think we've recovered your bag." "Thank God!" "The camera and the binoculars, I'm afraid, were gone." "But this was in it." "Yes, that's the paperwork I was worried about." "What a relief!" "And...there were these." "They were in my bag?" "Yes, they were, Mrs Tyrell." "Well, they're not mine." "Are you sure?" "After all, you did have a Polaroid camera." "(LAUGHS) Um, I've never seen that man before in my life." "Well, his name is Tony Carter." "It's quite a coincidence, really." "What is?" "Well, Tony Carter lives in Midsomer Florey, where you were mugged." "And where your husband keeps property stored in the strongroom of the local bank." "Are you making some sort of insinuation?" "No, no, no, no, I'm merely pointing out an unexpected connection." "Well, there is no connection." "So forget it." "Can I have my things back now, please?" "Not quite yet, Mrs Tyrell." "You see, this is evidence." "Strictly speaking, this document belongs to your husband." "Would he be able, do you think, to come in and identify it?" "No." "He's out of the country." "He's out of the country." "Oh, damn." "Still, there's no need to worry." "I've contacted the bank manager." "Why did you do that?" "To make sure that your husband's property is safe." "The thieves might have tried to claim it with this." "And we wouldn't want that to happen, would we, Mrs Tyrell?" "No, we wouldn't." "Mm." "So I said to Barnaby, "Barnaby," I said," ""If I was you I'd have a look in the woods." "Near the lay-by."" "Sure enough, that's where he found the bag." "You should have been a detective, Godfrey, old pal." "Exactly what Barnaby says." "I just overheard Barnaby's found the bag." "What?" "Two guys at the bar " "Not now, Troy." "This won't take a minute." "Look, if this is about Mike Wetherby's chisel..." "No, it's about Angela Browning." "What did you say?" "That was Ruth Fairfax's real name, wasn't it?" "She was a DC in the National Intelligence Squad." "How the hell did you find that out?" "All right, Simon." "Listen to me, Troy." "If you repeat that to anyone, you're out of a job." "As far as you're concerned, the victim was a 60-year-old woman called Ruth Fairfax." "We deal with these things in our own way, no outsiders." "That's the way DI Gudgeon likes it." "In other words, you don't trust me." "Is there any way I can put this kindly, Simon?" "No, James, there isn't." "Mr Gudgeon would not jeopardise a long and complex operation by spilling the beans to a flat-footed country copper." "Harsh but true." "So here's what I want you to do, Gavin." "Keep your mouth shut and go back to chasing purse-snatchers." "I don't think you're cut out for the NIS." "You're right." "I'm not." "Troy!" "Sorry to bother you, sir." "Um, have you got a moment?" "Of course I have." "Come in." "Thanks." "They didn't question Mike Wetherby about the chisel." "And then I found out his solicitor had been there all the time." "They sent him to the wrong interview room." "I couldn't let it go." "I had to say something." "Good for you, Troy." "Good for you." "This face ring a bell?" "It's Tony Carter." "Actually it used to be Tony Mayhew." "Used to be?" "Yeah." "Before he entered the Witness Protection Scheme." "Do you remember the Rugged Edge job?" "Massive robbery, Heathrow, five years ago." "Yeah, they got away with 20 million in cash." "Yeah." "That was Carter and his friends." "Carter was arrested." "But he made a deal." "He gave evidence against his accomplices, and in return he got himself a new name and a new life." "In Midsomer Florey." "In Midsomer Florey." "Which brings us very neatly into the bag-snatching in Leverets Lane." "What's that got to do with it?" "Carter's right-hand man, partner in crime and long-time friend was one Keith Tyrell." "The woman who was robbed, her name is Linda Tyrell." "Keith Tyrell's wife." "And these photos were in her bag?" "Passport photographs at a guess." "So while her husband serves 15 years for armed robbery," "Linda's helping the man who put him away to get a new passport." "Now, why, why is that, I wonder?" "Wait a minute." "Not all the money was recovered, was it?" "£5 million unaccounted for, Troy." "Keith Tyrell's share, as rumour has it." "And Keith Tyrell stored a rather large piece of furniture in the strongroom of the local bank." "And the receipt for that was in Linda Tyrell's hold-all when it was snatched." "Angela Browning must have found out about the money, so Tony Carter killed her." "That would be very convenient, wouldn't it?" "Unfortunately," "Godfrey Teal saw Tony Carter in the woods, half a mile away, at the time Ruth Fairfax was being murdered." "Tom!" "I'm home!" "How did it go?" "Marvellous, actually." "Everything just sort of clicked." "Look." "It's very, um..." "It's very atmospheric." "Who's this?" "Oh, Alan Pinkney." "Why has he got huge whiskers growing out of his ears?" "They're paintbrushes." "He's always got brushes behind his ears." "These trees are very good, Mrs Barnaby." "They're clouds, Gavin." "Could I see your brushes, please, Joyce?" "Thank you." "Artist's brush No. 8, pure sable." "The brush found under the body, that had a brown shaft, didn't it?" "Yeah, and the brush bit was made of nylon." "Most people use sable." "You see, we assumed the brush was Ruth Fairfax's, but maybe it wasn't." "Maybe it was the murderer's." "If you were creeping up on someone with the intention of stabbing them with a chisel, you wouldn't take a paintbrush with you." "Not if you've got it stuck behind your ear and you've forgotten it was there." "Joyce, was Alan Pinkney sitting in front of you all the week?" "No." "Only today." "Before that he was..." "Where?" "Where was he?" "I'm trying to remember." "You had to move from the first spot you chose because Ruth Fairfax appeared from nowhere, yeah?" "You can't go there." "Oh!" "You made me jump." "That's my place." "Sorry?" "So you moved a few yards away to the north end of the green." "Yes." "Yes, I had a good view," "I could see the others, and I could see Ruth Fairfax in the other direction." "Alan Pinkney was near her." "But I couldn't really see him because there was a tree in the way." "You couldn't see him at all?" "Only if I leant back in my chair." "Oh, I'd forgotten that." "I'm sorry, Tom." "There's no need to be, Joyce." "You've been a great help." "What do we know about Alan Pinkney?" "Not much." "Unemployed." "No criminal record." "Lives in Causton." "See, the brush found under the body..." "I want to be absolutely sure it isn't Ruth Fairfax's." "Gudgeon won't like us poking around in his evidence, sir." "We can make an early start." "He'd never know." "Ann, over here!" "(LAUGHS)" "Shh!" "What about the money?" "The money is going nowhere as long as I've got the strongroom receipt." "It's good to be back to normal, sir." "Sorry about the last few days." "Got nothing to be sorry for, Troy." "See you first thing." "Sir." "Barnaby knows who you are by now." "And me, for that matter." "Which means..." "Yes!" "..that he has guessed what's in the bank." "Yeah, all right, I'm sorry, Tony." "We're better off without the receipt." "As long as Barnaby's got it, he'll think the money's safe." "So how do we get it?" "We make a withdrawal." "The old-fashioned way." "Here are her paintings, sir." "The paintbrushes must be around here somewhere." "It looks like Tony Carter was signalling to Linda Tyrell up there in the woods." "Looks like it was based on whether the curtains were open or closed." "Angela Browning must have worked it out." "Here they are." "Black shafts, pure sable." "Except this one." "Just shoved in with the rest of them." "It's typical of the way this investigation is being run." "The NIS, they're supposed to be the elite." "It's just a shambles." "Well, that's what you get when your boss is never about, isn't it?" "Yes." "The famous DI Gudgeon." "I still haven't met the bloke." "He's always in a meeting." "I'll take this to Forensics, sir, see if I can get Alan Pinkney's fingerprints." "Sir?" "Yeah, you get it to Forensics." "I'll go and have a chat with Alan Pinkney." "Now then, lovely people, this is our last day in gorgeous Midsomer Florey, so let's make the most of it." "Don't forget the charity auction." "We want people falling over themselves to buy your masterpieces." "So let's see your very, very best work." "We'll just get down there as soon as we can." "Linda Tyrell, Troy." "Name ring a bell?" "Linda Tyrell." "Um..." "Come on, Troy." "Her bag was snatched near Midsomer Florey." "We believe the bag's been found." "Linda Tyrell is ring-fenced, Troy." "Ring-fenced?" "Meaning she is the subject of an NIS investigation." "Anything to do with her comes straight back to us." "There was a document found in that bag." "I'm asking you to hand it over." "A document?" "You mean like a piece of paper?" "DON'T ANNOY ME, TROY!" "Sorry, but you have to spell these things out for us country coppers." "Let him have it, Troy." "Really, sir?" "That's more like it." "I don't believe I invited you to sit in my seat, Sergeant." "Thank you, sir." "Excuse me." "Thank you for your cooperation." "Thank you, sir." "SIREN BLARES IN THE DISTANCE" "I thought you were going after Alan Pinkney, sir." "I heard those two were looking for me." "I guessed they wanted the strongroom receipt." "Why?" "Remember you were saying earlier that this investigation was a shambles?" "Well, it is." "Well, maybe that's the way Gudgeon wants it." "Not with you, sir." "Policemen like money too, Troy." "The bank opens in half an hour." "I'll go straight there, you take that brush to the lab and track down Pinkney." "Shall I arrest him, sir?" "No, no, not yet." "Try and get a look at his brushes." "See if they're like that one." "And then we'll just have to wait for the lab results." "We've got to get this right, Troy." "Or we'll end up directing traffic." "(CLICKS TONGUE)" "That's interesting." "You think so?" "Yeah!" ""Good" isn't the word." "Very kind of you to say so." "I don't understand." "He should have left ages ago." "He's up to something." "I'm going to have a look." "For heaven's sake, don't do anything to annoy him." "KNOCK AT DOOR" "MRS PARTRIDGE:" "Mr Hawksley, it's Chief Inspector Barnaby to see you." "One minute. (CLEARS THROAT)" "Ann, wait!" "Ann!" "Wait!" "Can I help you, sir?" "I hope so." "For your sake." "Arggh!" "We have reason to believe it contains a large quantity of stolen money." "No!" "Are you sure?" "Oh, yes." "KNOCK AT DOOR" "MRS PARTRIDGE:" "Mr Hawksley, could you open the door?" "It's rather urgent." "Excuse me." "Get in!" "In you go!" "Sorry, Mr Hawksley." "Nobody talks except me." "Right, there is the key." "Open it up." "Bin bags." "In there." "You take them out, take the money and fill up the bin bags." "Couldn't be easier." "You help them out, Barnaby, and I might decide not to kill you." "Morning, dear lady." "I thought the car looked familiar." "Even though I last saw it from a prone position." "What do you want?" "Don't you recognise me?" "WHAT'S THAT?" "The fire alarm." "The fire brigade will come if we don't turn it off." "Shall I do it for you?" "The switch is just outside the door." "Stay where you are." "I'll do it." "You, keep working!" "Troy, arrest and caution Mr Carter or Mr Mayhew or whatever his name is." "Mr Hawksley!" "I'd be grateful if you'd get the bank back to some semblance of normality as soon as possible, OK?" "Certainly." "To tell you the truth," "I'm fatally drawn to the dark side where women are concerned." "Perhaps you'd join me in a glass of sherry in the Cock and Rabbit." "Will you please just go away!" "I know you don't really mean that." "Ah!" "Dear Mrs Carter." "What a lovely surprise." "Midsomer Florey is crawling with beautiful women today." "Godfrey, have you seen my husband?" "I believe I saw him popping into the bank." "It's too late for him to open an account, you know." "The bank's closing." "Linda Tyrell!" "Now I understand!" "You couldn't leave him alone, could you?" "He was just using you, Linda, to get at the money!" "Just you wait and see." "I'm the one that's gonna be spending it!" "Oh, so you two know each other!" "Oh, that's marvellous." "Why don't we all go for a little tincture?" "Just for once, Godfrey, mind your own damn business!" "SIREN BLARES" "Magnificent!" "TYRES SCREECH" "Good morning." "I'd like to withdraw some property from your strongroom." "Thank you, Mrs Partridge." "I'll deal with this." "There it is." "Thank you, Mr Hawksley." "We'll take it from here." "Thank you, sir." "Er, sorry." "Thank you." "Five mill, James." "(BOTH LAUGH HYSTERICALLY)" "Sh." "Sh." "Key." "Oh, sod it." "Hawksley must have it." "Off you go." "Oh, thank God you're here!" "What the hell do you want?" "There's £5 million in that thing." "The unrecovered proceeds of an armed robbery in there." "We are aware of that." "That's why we're here, to recover it." "Well, that's a terrific relief." "As you can imagine, we're not used to dealing with such vast sums hereabouts." "Yes, I can imagine." "There's no need to get stressed, sir." "This is an NIS matter now." "We'll take care of it." "You'd better have the keys." "There you go." "Oh, thank you kindly, sir." "Well, let's get cracking." "Oh, er, thank you, Inspector, we shan't be needing you." "There is one thing." "What's that?" "Well, as I say, this is slightly out of our league, so if we could have some sort of authorisation from DI Gudgeon before you remove all that money, just in case." "He's very busy." "In a meeting, is he?" "What was that?" "Oh, I asked Mr Hawksley to secure the strongroom." "Just in case." "Someone tried to steal the money at gunpoint half an hour ago." "You mean we're locked in?" "Oh, don't worry." "There's enough oxygen to last 24 hours." "Mr Hawksley will unlock the door when your DI Gudgeon shows up." "Call him." "DOOR OPENS" "KEYS JANGLE" "DOOR UNLOCKS" "Detective Inspector Gudgeon." "What's the problem?" "He's not Gudgeon." "Oh, yes, he is." "Barnaby, how dare you obstruct NIS officers." "Let's not talk about the NIS." "Let's talk about paintbrushes." "Forget it was there, did you?" "Easy mistake to make." "I think you should know, Barnaby, that I have a very good working relationship with your chief constable." "Not for much longer, sir." "You see, this brush is identical to the one found under Angela Browning's body." "Your brush, Gudgeon, which you dislodged from behind your ear when you stabbed her with Mike Wetherby's chisel." "Simon, James, this is all nonsense." "Get on with packing the money." "We'll be getting the prints back from the lab in an hour." "There was a brown brush in with the others." "I thought it was Angela's." "Detective Constable Angela Browning did a good job." "She found out about Tony Carter and Linda Tyrell, and the strongroom receipt." "The only problem was, she was straight." "Which meant she had to go." "Didn't she, Gudgeon?" "No violence." "You said NO VIOLENCE!" "Now just wait a minute." "You killed one of your own." "YOU BASTARD!" "All right, all right." "Troy, get some backup." "And caution them." "All right, all right." "How did you know Pinkney was Gudgeon, sir?" "I'd assumed that Pinkney was working with Gudgeon." "But then why would Gudgeon trust a civilian non-entity like Pinkney?" "It only made sense if they were one and the same person." "Flat-footed country coppers indeed." "I wish every arrest was as enjoyable as this, sir." "BARRETT FILBY:" "Hello?" "Colin?" "Ah." "Hello, Barrett." "I was wondering, um..." "Do you know where Ann Carter is?" "Went off to the police station with her husband." "Oh." "Turns out he was a bank robber called Tony Mayhew." "Did you know that?" "No, no, I didn't." "Thanks." "£5 million in cash." "I've been sitting inches away from £5 million in cash for four years." "You've no idea what it's like to be so close to so much money." "Actually, I have." "(SIGHS)" "Whose is that?" "What?" "Good God!" "(CHUCKLES) What?" "It's a linen press, 19th century." "Made, if I'm not mistaken... ..by Joseph Wilkinson." "I read up on furniture while I was inside." "While I was at art school." "You think it's worth something?" "(CHUCKLES) A small fortune, old chum." "A small fortune." "(CHUCKLES)" "I'm bid £20 for this delightful, delightful study of Hen Cottages." "Come on, ladies and gentlemen, it's all in a good cause." "Who'll go to 25?" "£25." "Let's hear it for £25." "Anybody, for £25." "So Alan Pinkney..." "Oh, sorry, Mark Gudgeon, was the murderer." "Certainly was." "His prints were on the brush." "And you recovered all that money." "I did." "Well done, Tom!" "Ah, Barnaby!" "No news of Linda Tyrell, I suppose?" "I'm afraid not, Major." "She seems to have disappeared without trace." "Oh, she's probably sunning her magnificent ankles in foreign climes, eh?" "Such is life." "..so it'd be a really good investment on your wall." "£40." "I'm bid £40." "Hello, Joyce." "Tessa!" "How lovely to see you!" "You look marvellous." "Thanks." "Things have turned out rather well, actually." "Oh, I'm so glad." "Colin inherited a family heirloom." "It turned out to be surprisingly valuable." "How marvellous!" "COLIN: £50. £50." "Oh, good." "Here's Barrett." "Ah, my two favourite lovely ladies." "Will you excuse me, Joyce, if I steal Tessa away?" "We have to discuss the society's plans for next year." "Sold to you, Vicar." "Right." "Now, then." "Er, lot 17." "(GASPS)" "Oh, the next painting's mine." "..by Joyce Barnaby." "What if no-one makes a bid?" "Who'll start me on £20?" "£20." "Come on, come on. £20." "Well, £10 then." "Come on, ladies and gentlemen!" "Thank you, Inspector Barnaby." "Right, who'll go to 15, £15?" "Hm?" "£100!" "ONLOOKERS:" "Ooh!" "£100 I'm bid." "Well done, Major Teal." "That's more like it." "Now who'll go to £150?" "Someone, surely, come on." "£150." "Someone!" "Closed Captions by CSI"