"(Nathan) This is the party for "Sugar Ape" 's Vice issue." "The Bat was down there for boob tubes and pubes." "This is Nathan Barley for Trashbat." "Ned Smanks, Rufus 0nslatt." ""Sugar Ape" crew." " So what's the fucking concept?" " Well, the idea, yeah, was to make it look like these models are being molested in a magazine office, yeah?" "When actually, that's all what was really happening." "Yeah, only cos, like, we were all in on it, yeah, it isn't." "Except, cos we were actually touching them, it kind of is." "Yeah, yeah." "I touched two of them." "They were really up for it, though." "(♪ "Kish Kash" by Basement Jaxx)" "Are you still hung up about?" "Hi." "God, is this the men's?" "Am I in the men's?" "No probs, babes." "I sometimes use the ladies." "You're Mandy, from the Sugar Ape shoot, yeah?" "Yeah." "Nathan Barley, aka as Trashbat." "0h, I don't remember." "Sorry." "Was I all over the place?" " No, no, no." "You..." " I'm out of control at the moment." " Really?" " Absolutely no idea what I'm doing." " No idea at all?" " No." "Do you want a drink?" "0K." "Michael fucking Jackson." "(♪ "Hey Ya" by 0utkast)" "So..." "Look, don't drink with me." "I'm fucked up." "Yeah, I do." "Fucked up's great." "I'm well fucked up." " No, I mean really fucked up." " Hit me." " Look, you really don't want to know." " I can take it." "Bring it on." " I have Bonobo syndrome." " Yeah?" "Really?" "What's the problem?" " The monkeys that fuck all the time?" " Brilliant." "And?" "My uncle fucked me when I was eight." " I'll kill him." " He didn't, I just thought he did, which is like me doing it to myself, but Mummy said that's worse." "Yeah." "I mean, I don't even have an uncle." "0h, what?" " I'm in music therapy for it." " Huh?" "My therapist gets me to write songs about uncles and we record them." "0h." "Fuck." "Let's corridor." " You should make a video." " Really?" "I've got a production HQ just round the corner." "It's well brown." " Yeah?" " Are you free tomorrow at 2pm?" "Yeah." "All right." "Listen, I've gotta go." "Can you lend me 20 quid?" "It's just that I've lost my bag." "My other bag." "0f course." "Yeah." " Can we make it 50?" " 50?" "No sweat off my balls." "All right." "Well, I'll see you tomorrow." "Yes, you will." "(man) Who's that?" " Hawkwind." " (Screeches) Preacher man!" "0h, dear." "Well, I hope we haven't upset absolutely everyone." "For the news." "I'll do an interview at six." "Good party, Dan?" "You're leaking." "Um..." "I..." "I need some money." "Probably." "Can I do a feature?" "But, Dan, last time I had to write it for you because you went a bit..." "I'll do it this time." "I need the money." "You know the stray scene?" "Straight-on-straight gay action." "Quite hilarious." "Happens in working-class family pubs like The Grey Lion." "A lot of builders." ""Straight-on-straight?"" "Keeps families together, apparently." "0K, I'll write about that." "Do it, then write about it." ""Do it?"" "Toss off a builder, then write about it." ""Ashcroft goes stray for pay."" "1500 quid." "I was gonna offer you 2,000." "Extra money?" "How?" "What are you doing for Christmas?" "Well, I'd better go and earn your money." "You're leaking." "Yeah, uh, I lost my key." "Can I borrow yours?" " What happened to yours?" " Dunno." "Hey, Preach." " What are these for?" " Nothing." " Fuck you later." " No." "I'm about to ease a smile into your totally gorgeous mush." "Yeah?" "You know those Albanian hookers that cancelled for your film?" "I think I might have found a replacement." "She's this fucked up model, right?" " And she was abused by her uncle." " Right." "0nly she hasn't even got an uncle, so it's much worse." "She's written a song about it." "She's willing to perform it as an interlude in your film." "This is the cokehead from last night." "She's actually got Bonobo syndrome." "You know, the monkey thing?" "My film is about people with real problems." "Yeah." "Her problem was she had the whole of Selfridges by the time she was five." "You're against people just being given stuff, yeah?" "Yes, I am, actually." "What, like free cameras and edit gear?" " That is totally different." " Is it?" " Well, what do you want to do?" " A video." "Ned's done us this storyboard." "That's Mandy, that's her cot, and that's her uncle." "He's ashamed." "(♪ "Harvest for the World" by The Christians)" " There you are, mate." " Cheers." " Would you like any food?" " Uh, no, thanks." "Left your wife at home, eh?" "Um..." "I haven't got a wife." "You're not gay, are you?" "No." " You all right?" " Yeah." "New to it, are you, mate?" "Yeah." "Well, don't worry." "I'll help you." "It's not easy, stray." "But it helps." "Here." "0K." "All right, you gorgeous mess." "Mand, this is Claire." " Hi." " Hi." "Listen, Nathan, sorry, can I have a 20?" "For the cab." "No problems." "Big tip, yeah?" " Can I use your toilet, please?" " Just through there." "She's well troubled." "(moaning)" "Ahh." "Ah." "(♪ "Alright" by Supergrass) 0w, that hurts." "Can you take the glove off?" "Please?" "That's better." "That's better." "Yeah." "No, faster." "Mm." "Ah." "Faster." "Go on, go on, faster." "0h." "0h!" "0h!" "0h!" "0hh!" "Thanks, mate." " What's your name?" " No." " 0h, please." " (Phone rings)" "Excuse me." "Dan Ashcroft." "Shit." "Uh... not now." "Let me get you a drink, Dan." " No." " Come on." "Look, uh..." "I'm doing this for a magazine." "Yeah, right." "I am." "Don't fight it, Dan." "Is it Dan?" "0r is it Daniel?" "(♪ "Mandy Song")" "♪ Bad to have a bad uncle" "♪ Bad to have a bad uncle" "♪ Pain, pain of a monkey" "♪ Pain, pain of a monkey" " It works." " ♪ I needed, needed a friend" " Really works." " ♪ To help, help me to mend" "♪ But I found friendship is bad" " ♪ With this experience I had" " Do you... do you have a banknote?" "You are such a chalkhead." " Well, I am trying to stop." " Go on." "Get it up your beak." "Nathan, what is this saying about London's underclass?" " They're not all ugly." " (Mandy coughs)" " Bit jealous, Claire?" " What?" "0f a sniffer dog in a miniskirt?" "Makes your legs feel a bit chunky?" "She's so coked up, she's probably stopped menstruating." " Do you reckon?" " (Mandy coughs)" "Is that what you're after?" "A loan fuck?" "That..." "No." "Come on." "That's just..." " You are ill." "That's..." " (Toilet flushes)" "You should get rid of her." " Now you're jealous again." " I mean it." "Still jealous." "It's a shame." "You should try and nip it in the bud, really, Claire." " Makes you lose your looks." " (Door slams)" "Your face has gone sour." " Hi." "Good toot?" " Yeah." "Yeah, uh, you know that 20 quid, could I have it back?" "Can I keep it, please?" "Well, it's just that I've given you 270 quid." "Yeah, I will pay it back." "I promise I will." "What if, um... you pay me back now without money?" "What?" "You..." "you mean, like, give you a blow job?" "No." "I wasn't..." "I could put your willy in my mouth and blow it." "No." "You think it's bad?" "It's bad, isn't it?" " I know it's bad." "It's a bad idea." " No, no, no, it's a good idea." "No, it's bad." "I know it is." "I shouldn't do..." "No, no, no, you should." " Really?" " Yes." "So, do you wanna?" "All right." "(moans and chokes)" "(♪ "Mandy Song")" "♪ Bad to have a bad uncle" "Are you sure you're all right?" "Yeah." " What have you been doing?" " I..." "Hi." "Hi, Claire." "There's a news crew upstairs." "What's that about?" "Jonatton arranging controversy." "She's 13 years old." "So she's..." "(screaming ringtone)" "Sorry." " Barley UK." " Nathan, is Mandy still there?" "Sort of." "Well, don't let her leave." "She's perfect for my film." " 0K." " She's a child on coke." " Hm?" " She's 13 years old." "(Mandy grunts)" "Nathan?" " Fu..." "I've got to go." " I'm coming up now." "0h, fuck." "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" "You've got to go." "You can't tell anyone." "Just don't say anything." "Quickly. 0ut of the window." "0ut the window." "Uh..." "Shit!" "No, in there." "In there." "Sh..." "All right?" " Where's Mandy?" " She's gone." "You said you'd keep her here." " I couldn't." "She just went." " Well, where's she gone?" "(Mandy sniffs)" "Mandy?" "(Nathan laughs nervously)" "...windy, which is typical of this time of year, only worse." " And there will be thunder..." " Can you plug it in?" "I'm watching the weather." "There might be storms, and this building's got a loose roof." " And it's only held on by one screw." " Nathan." "I need to use the monitor." "(Man)..." "Six 0'Clock." "This is Six 0'Clock." "Thank you." "Right, Mandy," "I'd like to find out how someone so young can get into such a state." "(Mandy) 0K." " You take a lot of drugs, don't you?" " Yeah." "And how do you pay for them?" " Well..." "What?" " Have you ever done anything for money?" " Yeah." " Right." "That's great." "I think that's enough now, cos, you know, we don't want to exploit children." "(Claire) Nathan, please, get out of shot." "Get out of the way." "(Claire sighs)" "So, Mandy, you've done things for money." "Yeah." "Like what?" " I've given blow jobs." " We should definitely..." "Because this is wrong." "It's not right." "We shouldn't be doing this." " It's exploitative and it's wrong." " Nathan." "I'm surprised you're not turning off the camera." "Nathan, if you don't like it then leave the room." "I'll..." "Right." "Um..." "Go on, Mandy." "Well, I just needed some cash today so I just gave this bloke a BJ." "Right, fire!" "Abandon shoot!" "Electric shock." "Nathan!" "Well done, it's broken." " There's fire." "There could be fire." " I'm on the tape." "(man)... editor, Jonatton Yeah?" "Printing pictures of topless 13-year-old girls is illegal." "Would be if they were 13." " (man) Well, how old are they?" " 0ver 18, et cetera." " And can you prove that?" " Have you read it?" " 0f course." " Even the bit here?" "That says our models are six years older than their stated age." "So why say they were 13 in the first place?" " So you're not 13?" " No." " She isn't 13." " I'm 18." " That completely blows my story." " Brilliant!" "Brilliant!" " 0h, yeah." "Brilliant." "Pretend she's 13." " It is brilliant." "Yeah, let's pretend." "This is..." "It's just a big joke, isn't it?" "Yeah, it is." "It's great." "Why?" "When she gave me a blow job, I thought she was 13." "Nathan." "As far as I'm concerned, that is a blow job off a 13-year-old girl." "(Toby) All right?" "No." "Nathan got a blow job off a 13-year-old girl." "Well..." " No!" " (Nathan) Not..." "All right, zips?" "Nathan got a blow job off a 13-year-old." " Not..." "Hang on." "Claire..." "She's..." " No way!" "What's the no way, yeah?" "Barley got a blow job off a 13-year-old girl." "That is well no way." "How'd you pull that off?" "That's brilliant, mate." "Claire's idea." " Wise munch!" "Nice, mate." " Respect." "(♪ Mandy Song)" "♪ Bad to have a bad uncle" "Is this your key?" "♪ But I found friends could be bad" "♪ With this experience I had" "♪ Bad uncle, bad uncle, bad uncle" "♪ Bad uncle, bad uncle, bad uncle, unc-unc-unc-unc-uncle" "(shouting ringtone)" "Matt, you rapist." "How's it fucking gaping?" "I'm cool." "I've been splashing a few tonsils." "Yeah, guess the age." "0f the tonsils, yeah." "Younger." "Younger." "Illegal." "Technically a Polanski." "Thir-fucking-teen." "13." "13!" "Absolutely fucking awesome." "(sighs contentedly)" "Visiontext Subtitles:" "Jo Clarke"