"ASTRONAUT ON RADIO:" "It's a great honor and privilege for us to be here representing not only the United States, but men of peace of all nations." "(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)" "Hey, Mike, pass it!" "I'm open!" "Over here, buddy!" "No way, butterfingers!" "Hey!" "Did you see that?" "She looked at me!" "(GROANS)" "Could you guys focus?" "You're so basic!" "(GASPS)" "(SIGHS)" "Wake up, Amy!" "We have to get the flag back!" "Okay." "I'll stop her!" "Marty, help her!" "No problem!" "Time to unleash Martyspeed!" "Is that a lawnmower?" " It was." "Now it's just..." " (MOTOR STARTING) ...freaking awesome!" "(MARTY WHOOPING)" "Wrong way, dude!" "(AMY GRUNTS)" "Well done, Amy!" "Hey, Amy!" "Here!" "(GROANS)" "I'm open!" "Over here!" "Amy!" "It's me, Marty!" "Okay. (GROANS)" "(GROANING)" "Yes!" "Yes, I got the flag!" "Watch out, Marty!" "(SCREAMING)" "MARTY:" "Whoa!" "What's up, Goldwing?" "Ready to lose again?" "Not this time." "Awesome!" "Now get it to home base!" "I'll cut through the pier!" "Yes!" "The Moneyball maneuver!" "Do it!" "Do it!" "What?" "Don't listen to the redhead!" "It's too dangerous!" "Moneyball, here I go." "He's gonna make it!" "He's totally gonna make it!" "(GROANS)" "Oh!" "No, he didn't make it." "That was intense!" "If you would have pulled off the Moneyball," "I would have headlined it in the school blog." "Front page." "Guaranteed." "If he nails the Moneyball, even Super Blondie might actually notice he exists." "We were right there." "That's the problem, dude!" "We're always right there, when we should be over there." "Bye, losers!" "What does that preening fart have that I don't?" "You mean besides good looks, muscles and three surfing championships under his belt?" "Ha, she got you there, buddy." "Ha-ha." "Bite me." "(ALL LAUGHING)" "(GULPING)" "(INAUDIBLE)" "(PANTING)" "Hey, Igor!" "What's up, dude?" "Did you miss me, my little Godzilla?" "Check out the new and improved MartyGlasses." "Pretty cool, huh?" "No doubt he was dying to see you." "Yeah, Igor can't stand to be more than two feet away from me." "(GASPS) MartyChute!" "MartyChute!" "SAMANTHA:" "Mike!" "Later, guys." "It's my dad's birthday dinner tonight." "And my mom wants my grandpa to come, too. (SIGHS)" "Come on, Mike." "He's your granddad." "Oh, you've obviously never met that grumpy old fart." "(GROANS) I mean, good luck." "(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)" "New mission delayed till 2022." "I've been training and trying on spacesuits like a fashion model for nothing." "Well, it's your birthday, so at least let's enjoy the rest of the day." "So, how was the beach today, buddy?" "You catch the flag?" "I wiped out." "Again." "(SING-SONG) Mike can't surf!" "Zip it, twerp!" "(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)" "So you think Grandpa Frank will finally have dinner with us this time?" "Not gonna happen." "Scott?" "I'll wait for you in the car." "Sweetie... (SIGHS) Total waste of time." "It's clear where you got your stubborn streak from." "(CAR DOOR CLOSES)" "Three, two, one... (SCREAMING)" "(ALL CHEERING)" "Awesome!" "Is that my grandpa?" "I'm fine!" "I'm fine!" "He's not coming." "So we don't get cake?" "Not fair!" "Of course we'll get cake, princess." "(GASPS)" "Yay!" "Cake!" "Cake!" "Yippee!" "If Grandpa doesn't want to see us, why do you keep trying?" "Because I promised Grandma Rose that I'd see to it your dad and granddad would make peace." "And we'd all be a family again." "But if he doesn't want to, why don't we just leave him alone?" "Oh, Mike, don't ever forget this." "Grandpa is part of this family." "And family is the most important thing there is." "So let's never give up trying." "Okay?" "LEMMON:" "His grandfather revolutionized petroleum, his father was the driving force behind nuclear energy, and today Richard Carson III owns the greatest energy empire in the world!" "That's right, ladies and gentlemen." "Please, give a big welcome to Richard Carson!" "(AUDIENCE CHEERING)" "(UPBEAT COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)" "Yeah!" "(ALL CHEERING)" "How can they put a joker like him on prime-time TV?" "He sponsors the show, honey." "(AUDIENCE CLAPPING RHYTHMICALLY)" "Looking good, ladies." "Looking good!" "I love you, Carson!" "That's for you, sweetheart!" "(WHOOPING)" "(CLICKS TONGUE) Whoa..." "AUDIENCE:" "Oh!" "Uh, Mr. Carson?" " Yeah!" "Yeah!" " (AUDIENCE CHEERING)" "Yeah, yeah, yeah!" "LEMMON:" "Uh, Mr. Carson?" "Mr. Carson, you're going to make an important announcement today." " Of course!" " Whoa!" "Let's cut to the chase." "Y'all know that 50% of the worldwide population thinks that man has never been on the Moon?" "Oh, come on!" "Is this guy for real?" "Well, yeah, there are all kinds of conspiracy theories out there." "The Moon." "My father's biggest dream." "He offered most of his fortune to get there." "But NASA never allowed it." "My father, a man who had everything, died unable to achieve his biggest dream." "ALL:" "Aww!" "MAN:" "So unfair!" "Well, I guess you need well-trained astronauts for a mission like that, right?" "No!" "That's what they said!" "But today I'm going to show the truth." "Today the whole world will know that the space race was just a big lie!" "ASTRONAUT ON RADIO:" "It's a great honor and privilege for us to be here, representing not only the United... (GROANING)" "Cut!" "Get that bozo outta here!" "Come on, untrained chimps could do a better job!" "I said "cut!"" " (CHEERING ON TV)" " Ha, I knew it!" "What?" "That footage was a fake!" "Yeah, right!" "And how the heck would you know?" "What did you say?" "Scott, honey." "The kids!" "Why doesn't NASA go back to the Moon and prove Carson's just a stupid liar?" "I wish we could, but we don't have the right rockets anymore." "The space race finished years ago." "Wow!" "Your father would be very impressed by your discovery." "Daddy." "He meant the world to me." "When he passed on, I had his ashes melted into this diamond so that he'd always be with me, and I swore to do my darnedest to honor his memory." "(SOBBING)" "ALL:" "Aww!" "MAN:" "So unfair!" "But now it's time to end this farce." "I, Richard Carson III, will be the first man to set foot on the Moon!" "(ALL CHEERING)" "Look, Daddy!" "He does have a rocket!" "Tess!" "Ha!" "That guy rocks!" "This is for you, Dad!" "This is nonsense!" "How can people believe this farce?" "We've already received thousands of e-mails claiming the Moon landing was a hoax!" "Social media is going nuts over this!" "Everybody's already calling it the Big Lie." "Madam President, we have to stop this fraud right now!" "PRESIDENT:" "I was just a child when this happened, but I remember very clearly how we landed on the Moon." "Mrs. President, we have an update from Secret Service." "Carson wants to claim the Moon as his own before the United Nations." "That's impossible!" "We planted the flag in the name of all mankind!" "Yes, but if he gets up there now and destroys the remains of all lunar missions, including the Moon Flag, the whole world will believe he really is the first man on the Moon." "Madam President, you just give me the order and Carson is dust." "Curb your impulses, Admiral." "I want Carson thoroughly vetted." "Meanwhile, we can't let him change history." "We must do something." "Now!" "Pliers." "Screwdriver." "Are you sure this will get us the flag?" "MARTY:" "I find your lack of faith disturbing." "The Marty Rocket is a blast!" "Every time you say that, disaster strikes." "Oh, chill out, Lois Lane." "And let the genius do his job." "(EXCLAIMS MOCKINGLY)" "So how was dinner with your family?" "Grandpa flaked, as usual." "Bummer." "What's his problem?" "I don't really know." "All I know is that" "Grandpa Frank was supposed to be part of the last mission to the Moon." "But a few days before the launch, they dropped him." "AMY:" "Why?" "MIKE:" "He never said." "He just cut himself off from everybody." "Until one day, suddenly, he just left." "And my dad never got why." "Since that day, my dad and grandpa barely ever speak." "My mom always tries to reunite them, but total stalemate." "Look on the bright side." "I used to be as flat as a bar of chocolate." "Now I'm pure muffin." "And all because my grandparents won't stop bringing me candy." "Whatever." "It's the way it's always been with my family." "Oops!" "Hold this!" ""Whatever"?" "Don't talk like that!" "You don't know what you're missing." "I've got my grandparents, my nine brothers and sisters, my uncles and aunts, my cousins, my second cousins, my third cousins..." "Wow!" "Are you a family or a whole country?" "Oh, pipe down, you pumpkin head!" "Seriously, don't give up." " You should do something." " (SCOFFS)" "You don't get it." "There's nothing I can do." "Nothing?" "All you have to do is get them to talk." "Oh, sure." "Piece of cake." "All right, then let's just drop it." "Chicken." "Hey!" "I am not a chicken!" "You're not!" "You're a super turkey!" "(LAUGHS)" "(GASPS) Igor!" " See, genius?" "Disaster." " (METAL CLATTERING)" " (HORN HONKING) - (TIRES SQUEALING)" "JACK:" "Scott!" "Scott!" "Scott!" "What's my dad doing here?" "Scott!" "Scott!" "We're going back!" "What?" "National priority." "President's orders." "What are you talking about, Jack?" "Sam!" "Scott!" "We're going back to the Moon!" "And you're gonna be the commander!" "(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)" "So here's the mission, get to the Moon before Carson destroys the flag we planted in '69." "No flag, no proof we were there." "Wow, the Moon!" "A Goldwing on the Moon!" "Wait." "How the heck are we supposed to get there?" "Does the name Saturn V mean anything to you?" "No way!" "That old piece of junk at the NASA museum?" "Bingo!" "They're repairing it." "Saturn V, the biggest rocket mankind has ever built." "Tuned up for the first time in 40 years." "We have to launch in a month." " (COUGHING)" " A month?" "Impossible!" "Nobody at NASA knows how to fly that old thing anymore." "They're bringing in some of the old astros to help." "The Apollo vets are gonna train us." "Well, I know one grumpy old astro who won't show." "You know your dad well." "He's the only one who said no." "(WHISPERING) Here's your chance, chicken." "Come on, guys." "We've got work to do." "Our mission is to get this to my grandpa now." "Tomorrow the old astros will show up and he's got to be there." " MARTY:" "So why don't you call him?" " MIKE:" "He never answers the phone." "MARTY:" "E-mail him?" "MIKE:" "He doesn't have a computer." "(PANTING)" "Come on, guys!" "And remember, failure is not an option." "(GRUNTS)" "Why do I always follow you guys?" "I should be breaking news, not breaking and entering." "I'll set my command post here." "Take the walkies." "You go with them, Godzilla." "I never thought we'd have a second chance." "(CHUCKLES) At my age, every chance is a second chance." "Hey, cut the talk, sods." "Let's refresh the basics." "NASA needs us." "(WALKIE BEEPS)" "(WHISPERING) Mayday, Marty." "Old fart alert." "Activate Godzilla." " (BEEPING)" " Godzilla activated." "Plug your phone into Igor." "I'll be your eyes." "If he wrecks my phone, that redhead meatball is gonna be roadkill." "Go, Igor." "MARTY:" "All clear." "Go ahead." "Wait, wait, wait!" "Old guard coming out of the lobby!" "(AMY GASPS)" "(GAME PLAYING ON PHONE)" "We need to do something here." "Great." "Hey!" "Hey, Trent." "Are you playing with rockets again?" "Of course not." "We would never..." "MARTY:" "Now duck and go!" "There's a woman on the front desk on your left." "(DOOR CLOSING)" "Marty, fly Igor to the first floor!" "MARTY:" "Roger that!" "(MUSIC PLAYING ON HEADPHONES)" "Mayday, Marty!" "A cleaning lady is on duty." "You see, guys?" "You really do need the Martygenius." "Pipe down and do something!" " (IGOR GROANS)" " MARTY:" "Uh-oh." "Something's happened." "I can't see anything!" "(SQUEALS)" "I'm gonna squash that pumpkin head." "Marty, take Igor out of here!" "Guys, I can't see!" "(IGOR BANGING ON DOOR)" "We're gonna get caught." "Take him out." "Now!" "Okay." "Failure is not an option." "Marty Rocket on!" "Hey!" "You can't be here!" "Oh, I'm sorry." "I'm trying to find my way out." "Okay, come with me, missy." "(GASPS)" " FRANK:" "Michael?" " (GASPS)" "What are you doing here?" "(DOOR OPENING)" "(FOOTSTEPS RETREATING)" "GAGS:" "Well, let me tell him." "I think it's best." "GIGS:" "I know how to handle him for bad news, Gags." "I'll tell him." "I must insist, Gigs." "I'm number one." "It should be me." " (DRILLING)" " Dumb piece of manure!" "These lunar drills are garbage, they're worthless!" "You're fired!" "Get out of my sight!" "(MAN SOBBING)" "(BOTH GASPING)" " (GRUNTS) - (OBJECT CLATTERS)" "Excuse me, sir." "I just want to thank you for making me a star on the big screen." "Okay, okay, Jose." "Now, go." "What's going on?" "Gigs has something to tell you." "Well?" "NASA is going back to the Moon." " What?" " (BOTH GASPING)" "Why the heck is NASA going to the Moon now?" "Forty years with no mission and they have to send it right this second?" "Who's the moron who came up with that bright idea?" "(STAMMERING) It was a direct order from the President." "Oh." "So the President wants to play." "We'll see if she dares to interfere with my business when I reach the Moon and get my toy." "(BEEPING)" "ANNOUNCER:" "Carson Industries is proud to present the energy of the future." "The ultimate replacement for oil." "Extremely rare on Earth, but there's an infinite supply of it on the Moon." "Helium-3." "You mean you're not going there to honor your father's wish?" "(LAUGHS) Daddy didn't give a rat's ass about the Moon!" "As he always said," ""Nothing's a hitch if it makes you filthy rich."" "(CAMERAS CLICKING)" "And we're standing in front of 40 years of history." "This day will be remembered as a historic day." "Hey, Mike!" "Hey, Joe!" "Visiting your dad?" "Yeah." "Are the vets in?" "They are about to arrive." "Come on in." "Hey!" "Oh, wow!" "That is epic!" "Whoa!" "Let's take some pictures and post them on Facebook." "Total chick magnet." "Hey, can you take a picture of me, Amy?" "Or is my awesomeness too vast to fit in the frame?" "(TYPING ON PHONE)" "Amy, can you stop tweeting for, like, five seconds?" "I'm not tweeting, I'm ignoring you." "(VEHICLE APPROACHING)" "Hey, the old guys have arrived!" "ANNOUNCER:" "Ladies and gentlemen, it's a great pleasure to announce the veterans" " of the Apollo missions." " (CAMERAS CLICKING)" "(REPORTERS CLAMORING)" "Wow, I thought dinosaurs were extinct." "He didn't come." "Scott, we're assigning trainers." "You're gonna love yours." "Surprise me." "Is it Collins?" "(GASPS) Aldrin!" "Tell me it's Aldrin!" "Mike, look." "(GASPS)" "Michael." "Scott, let me introduce your trainer." "Captain in reserve Frank Goldwing." "What an honor." "Yes!" "REPORTER:" "Mr. Goldwing?" "Over here!" "(REPORTERS CLAMORING)" "(CAMERAS CLICKING)" "Yeah!" "CARSON:" "Ah, the Goldwings!" "I love family reunions." "Congratulations, man!" "Right on the front page!" "But this could ruin the plan." "What if they get to the Moon first?" "Impossible!" "I don't care if you have to cheat, lie, steal..." "Did I mention "cheat"?" "Just make sure those Goldwings fail." "SCOTT:" "Okay." "Test flight positive." "Starting lunar landing simulation sequence." "FRANK:" "Careful." "It's a difficult maneuver." "SCOTT:" "Copy that." "FRANK: "Captain. " You say, "Copy that, Captain."" "Copy that, Captain." "Whoa, man!" "Look at that!" "How did you get in?" "Dad got these for us." "We'll talk later." "Stay here." "The commander is about to land." "Dad!" "Dad, could you give us a ride?" "FRANK:" "Negative." "This is not a toy." "Oh, come on." "It's okay, kids." "I'm in command here." "Commander, you're breaking the rules." "(ALL WHINING)" "Come on, Grandpa, please!" "Captain, do you remember when you gave me a ride on this thing?" "It's one of my best memories." "(GROWLS)" "(BEEPS)" "(ALARM BEEPING)" "Captain, we're out of fuel." " (ALL GASPING)" " That's not possible." "I checked it myself." "Are you sure?" "Of course I am!" "Abort the mission!" "Jump!" "No." "I can land it." "No, you can't." "Not at that speed." " It's safer to land." "Hold on!" " (ALL GASPING)" "(CHILDREN YELPING)" "Come on, come on!" " Scott, eject!" " (GRUNTING)" "Eject!" "Eject!" "(ALL SCREAMING)" "(GASPS)" "I'm gonna die without kissing a girl!" "I'm gonna die without kissing a girl!" "Well, don't look at me, chicken." "(PANTING)" "(SCOTT GROANING)" " You guys all right?" " (MIKE GROANS)" "Yes, Dad." "Igor?" "Igor!" "Igor is not breathing!" "He needs mouth to mouth!" "What?" "No way!" "Dude, he's fading fast!" "Look at his little face." "Yuck." "Come on!" "He's your lizard." "Oh, jeez!" "I thought my first kiss would be with a supermodel." "(GROANS)" "(SCOTT GROANING)" "(GRUNTING)" "Dad!" "Are you all right?" "(GRUNTING)" "(PANTING) Can you move it?" "Just back off." "(SIRENS WAILING)" "(BRAKES SCREECHING)" "CARSON: "NASA Moon mission still a go"?" "(GROWLS) No one defies Richard Carson!" "No one!" "Gags, let's start this already!" "Everything's ready, sir." "Perfect!" "Go ahead, Gigs." "Impressive, sir!" "Twenty times more powerful than nuclear energy!" "It will be the largest monopoly in history." "Now, Gigs, let's test it as a weapon." "(STAMMERING) Excuse me, sir." "It will destroy the whole model." "We'll need it for more energy tests." "Who gives a cowpoke?" "I do, sir." "I've been building it piece by piece for the last eight months." "So be happy!" "You'll have work for eight months more." "Gigs, fire the weapon!" "Okay, sir." "But before you..." "Gigs, I said fire the weapon!" "Works like a charm." "One small problem, sir." "Then fix it." "It's just that" "Gags was still inside." "Oh." "Well, congratulations, Gigs." "You've been promoted!" "Now you can build the models for the rest of the tests." "(CARSON WHOOPING)" "(MUSIC PLAYING)" "Oh, honey, you can't keep carrying on like this." "There'll be other opportunities." "No, there won't." "This was my last chance and my father ruined it." "Same as always." "Honey, it was an accident." "It doesn't matter now." "No Goldwing will ever step foot on the Moon." "It's the Goldwings' curse." "I know it's disappointing." "I do." "But there are more important things." "You just don't get it!" "Going there and capturing the flag was supposed to be my mission." "Going to the Moon is every astronaut's dream." "What's more important than that?" "Maybe you're the one that doesn't get it." "MIKE:" "It's history repeating itself." "My dad will leave home and become a bitter old hermit, just like my grandpa." "I can't make my family work." "(SCOFFS) What are you talking about?" "You managed to reunite them after, like, forever." "Yeah, and now I've made things a thousand times worse." "I'm such an idiot." "You're a fool!" "If you don't stop feeling sorry for yourself," "I'm just gonna kick your butt straight to the Moon!" "Ha, I'd like that!" "He could moon the Moon." "(MARTY CHUCKLES)" "Whoa!" "Amy, you're a genius!" "Who is?" "Her?" "(SCOFFS)" "My grandpa couldn't go, my dad can't go, but I can!" "I'll go to the Moon!" "Yeah, someday." "Not someday." "In two weeks." "What are you talking about?" "I know it's crazy, but I could hide in the rocket and..." "Man, you really got motivated down pat." "Don't you get it?" "I can break the curse!" "I'll do what my father and grandpa couldn't, and everything will finally change!" "I'm going to the Moon!" "And you guys are gonna help me." "Who is with me?" "I am!" "Marty?" "All right, hold on." "Let me get this straight." "You're going to get in an ancient piece of junk" " and go 30,000 miles an hour?" " Yep." "To a place where there is no oxygen or gravity?" "Yep." "Where only 12 astronauts have ever been before?" "Yes!" "Ah, what the heck, it's better than studying for Math." "I'm in!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "I'm going to the Moon!" "(SCREAMING)" "Uh, dude, Moon's that way." "(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)" "MARTY:" "Okay." "To sneak into the rocket, you have to access the launch platform, but it's a fortress surrounded by the sea and protected by a metal fence." "I have examined all the options and I think this one is the best." "Igor!" "This is not the time to play Godzilla, okay?" "Come with me, Igor." "Guys, let's focus." "Marty, so what's the best option?" "Give up, dude." "It's impossible to get in." "Don't even bother trying." "Come on!" "There has to be a way." "Something the three of us can do." "The two of you." "What?" "You're bailing?" "Who is the chicken now?" "Listen, if my parents find out, they'll ground me for life." "They're very serious about not breaking rules." "I'll be shipped off to military school like three of my 52 cousins." "Wait." "You've got 52 cousins?" "52 plus the twin sister of the half-sister of the sister-in-law of my Uncle Pablo." "Excuses!" "(IMITATES CHICKEN CLUCKING)" "I'm truly sorry." "Just ignore him, Amy." "Don't worry." "We can handle this." "Well, you'd better think of something, Michael Goldwing, because we couldn't even get in there with a tank." "There is a way." "(SPLASH)" "Hey, what was that?" "I think I heard something." "Come on, ever since you saw Revenge of the Sharkgators, you're on the edge about everything." "Oh, that one wasn't half as scary as Zombie Piranhas Part III." "GUARD:" "Why do you watch that crap?" "(WHISPERING) Marty, don't make a sound." "Okay, I'll be as stealthy as a ninja." "This way!" "Phew, that was close!" "(YELPS)" "What was that?" "Stupid rocks!" "You and your mutant creatures." "Might just be an alligator." "GUARD:" "Whatever it was, it's gone." "(SCREAMING)" " What the..." " (GASPS)" "Marty!" "(GASPS)" "I almost had a heart attack!" "(SNARLS)" "Over there!" "You see?" "Just an alligator." "Don't you fall again." "I'm trying, but this is full of rocks." "(GASPS)" "Igor, what's the matter with you?" "Can you stop making noise?" "Sorry, Igor is freaking out!" "He won't let go of me!" " (SQUEALS) - (GRUNTING)" "(SCREAMS)" "Mike, I think we forgot something." "Yeah, to seal your mouth so you stop shouting!" "No, much worse than that." "Gators!" "Igor!" "Attack and destroy!" "Marty fist!" "Marty eye poke!" "Marty blinding light!" "What the hell is going on tonight?" "I told you already." "It's the zombie sharkgators." "Oh, would you stop with that, please?" "(GROWLING)" "Marty lightsaber!" "(GRUNTING)" "(CLICKING)" "It's jammed, it's jammed!" "(SCREAMING)" "Amy!" "I knew you couldn't survive without me, pumpkin head!" "What are you talking about?" "I had everything under control." "(GROWLS)" "Get ready, guys!" "There's the fence!" "Okay." "Start the fans on three..." "Um, guys?" " Two!" " Guys!" " One!" " Guys, I don't have any fan!" "(GRUNTS)" "Come on!" "Higher, higher!" "Oh, damn double-stuffed chocolate muffins!" "(MARTY YELPS)" " (CRASHING)" " Marty!" "I'm stuck!" "Wait!" "We'll get you out of there!" "Forget about it!" "The patrol boat is coming." "Just go!" "Thanks, buddy!" "We owe you one." "Go on without me." "I'll sacrifice myself for the mission." "I'll be fine!" "Huh?" "Igor, where are you going?" "You traitor lizard!" "Don't leave me!" "(PATROL BOAT APPROACHING)" "(GROWLS)" "GUARD:" "Here's your zombie sharkgator." "(CAMERAS CLICKING)" "REPORTER:" "Mr. Carson, could you look over to me?" "Mr. Carson, can I please get an interview?" "Mr. Carson, how does it feel to be flying to the Moon?" "Goodbye, my friends!" "History awaits!" "Hey, did you check the cooling systems?" "TECHNICIAN:" "Yeah, she's ready to go." "(AMY YELPS)" "Hi, Sam, how's it going?" "SAM:" "Oh, it's good." "Everything is under control." "(GRUNTS)" "AMY:" "Wait, Mike!" "I better go back home before I'm missed." "Okay, but I just need you to close the hatch." "MARTY:" "The thing is I totally sleepwalked." "Weird, I know." "But when I woke up, I didn't know how to get back and..." "Don't be a smartass, kid." "All right?" "Hey, this is an abuse of power." "I demand to speak to your boss." " No problem." "He's right here." " (CAR APPROACHING)" "(BRAKES SCREECH)" "Uh-oh." "Wow!" "Amy, check this out." "I can't believe we're here." " Are you all right, son?" " Dad!" "What were you doing in the launch area?" "I won't speak without my attorney present." "Marty!" "MIKE ON WALKIE:" "Marty, do you copy?" "We're in." "Marty, I repeat." "We're in. (BEEPS)" "In?" "Where's in?" "AMY:" "Take a picture when you get to the Moon, okay?" "I'll get it on the front page of the school paper." "Done." "Can I ask what are you two doing?" "(STAMMERING) But, Grandpa!" "What are you doing here?" "Have you gone crazy?" "You need to get out of here." "Now!" "(POWERING UP)" "What the heck did you do?" "MIKE:" "Huh?" "Operation in progress, sir." "The rocket will launch without crew and will get lost in the infinite." "Perfect." "Bye-bye, Mrs. President!" "Don't even breathe." "(ALARM BLARING)" "What the..." "Engines one and two activated!" "What?" "Hey." "All engines running?" "What the heck have you kids done?" "Huh?" "(GRUNTING)" "Can you help us open this, please?" "It's no use, the ignition sequence is on." "Mission Control, do you copy?" "Frank Goldwing speaking." "We're trapped in the Apollo command module." "Jeez, what a night!" "Any more hijinks and I quit." "Relax, man." "I'm sure there won't be any more surprises before the launch." "Hold on a second." "Have you seen that, Jack?" "JACK:" "That's impossible." "The rocket was set to launch 10 hours from now!" "Call Goldwing!" "Hey!" "You!" "Stop right there!" "You can't be here!" " What happened?" " Scott, don't panic, but..." "Someone has sabotaged the system." "We can't abort the launch." "It's about your..." "Cool, huh?" "Scott, wait!" " Hey, Mr. Gold..." " Shh." "...wing." "(BEEPS)" "Mission Control here." "May I ask what you're doing in there, Captain?" "(GRUNTING)" "I was taking care of a couple of intruders when the hatch got locked." "Intruders?" "(GRUNTING)" "Captain, what are you doing?" "(GROANS)" "Frank, who's there?" "I found your son and his girlfriend inside the capsule." "(ALL GASPING)" "Huh?" "Girlfriend?" " What?" "She's not my girlfriend." " I'm too young to have a boyfriend." "I don't even have a girlfriend." "(MIKE AND AMY CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)" "I was trying to tell you." " We're just friends!" " We're just friends!" "Stop it!" "Mike, what are you doing there?" "I was trying to break the Goldwing curse, Dad." "The curse?" "What curse?" "What are you talking about?" "There's no time for pointless discussions." "We've got two options." "We go to the Moon or we eject." "That would destroy the rocket." "(RINGING)" "Sir, we've been sabotaged." "You won't believe who is behind this." "Stop Carson." "Don't let him take off." "OFFICER ON RADIO:" "To all units." "Stop Richard Carson." "I repeat, stop Richard Carson." "Okay, let's go, Gigs." "One minute for take-off." "Captain, activate eject mechanism!" "Dad, please!" "We have to break the Goldwing curse!" "Captain, activate it now!" "(GASPS)" "SCOTT:" "Captain?" "Captain!" "Captain, what's going on?" "I'm afraid they've sabotaged that as well." "(EXHALES SHAKILY)" "Then there's only one option." "Let's go the Moon." "The first thing we've agreed on in 40 years." "Okay, let's start launch protocol." "Give me a go or no go for launch." " EE COM." " Go!" " SCOTT:" "FIDO." " Go!" " SCOTT:" "GNC!" "RETRO." " Go!" "Does that mean we're going, Captain?" ""Commander." Call me "Commander."" "Let's get ready for launch." " SCOTT:" "CAP COM." " Go!" " SURGEON." " MAN:" "Go!" " GUIDANCE." " It's a go!" "Go for flight!" "No, no, no!" "I can't stay!" "I've gotta go!" "My parents are going to kill me." "Amy, it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity." "You'll be the first woman on the Moon!" "Stop the yackety-yak, kids, and put on your suits." "Everything ready for take-off, sir." "We're leaving, Daddy!" "For one rule!" "I break one rule in my whole life and I end up in a rocket heading to the Moon!" "Yes!" "Ladies and gentlemen, we have a mission to accomplish." "Commander Goldwing, go and get that flag back before Carson destroys it." "And remember, failure is not an option." "Excuse me?" "Sir?" "Oh..." "Has anyone seen my lizard?" "Igor!" "Ignition sequence start." "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six..." "All engines running." "(BEEPING)" "Let's give 'em a great show." "...three, two, one." "And lift-off!" "We have lift-off at 10 hours, 23 minutes and 17 seconds." "(MIKE WHOOPING)" "(AMY SCREAMING)" "Yee-haw!" "A grandpa and two kids?" "The crew of Saturn V is just a grandpa and two kids?" "Yes, Madam President." "But there is something else." "Go on." "Carson has developed a way to mine Helium-3 on the Moon." "Helium-3 is the most powerful energy ever known." "Now, it makes sense." "He cheated the world and sabotaged our rocket in order to own the Moon and become the most powerful man on Earth." "Madam President, we can still launch some missiles and hit Carson's rocket." "Stop it, Admiral." "If we don't get the flag first, we won't be able to prove he's a liar." "We have to get the flag, and this grandpa and two kids are our only hope." "Whoa, it's incredible!" "Mind-blowing!" "Awesome!" "Hey!" "Hmm." "MIKE:" "Marty, are you there?" "Yeah, Mission Control is here." "Um, is Igor with you, guys?" "Affirmative." "We're all good." "Okay." "Copy." "The technicians have fixed the system." "We now have control of the flight." "(DOOR OPENING)" "(GASPS)" "Scott, tell me it's a joke." "Sam, I don't know how it..." "Tell me our son is not in that rocket!" "Okay, okay." "Everything will be all right." " MIKE:" "I'm sorry, Mom." " (GASPS)" "It's all my fault." "Oh, my God." "Mike, are you okay?" "Yeah, uh..." "I'm really, really sorry about all this." "Sweetie, that doesn't matter now." "Just come back safe, you hear me?" "I promise." "Mummy, can I have his room?" "Tess!" "Uh, hi, Mrs. Goldwing." "Please, tell my parents I'm never going to break any more rules, ever." "I'll tell them, Amy." "Frank, for the love of God, look after them." "Trust me." "I won't let anything happen to them." "Are you my grandpa?" "(ALARM BEEPING)" "(SINGING) I'm just a little space cowboy" "Sir, I have an update." "The NASA rocket is closing in on us." "What?" "How is that possible?" "Only one answer." "It's being manned." "The sabotage didn't work!" "(GROANS) I'm surrounded by a bunch of space chimps!" "Okay, fine." "I'll just have to destroy it myself." "But, sir, you can't do that." "There's two kids and an old man inside." "So what?" "Like Daddy always said," ""Nothing's a hitch if it makes you filthy rich."" "(BEEPS)" "(MUSIC PLAYING)" "Oh, I can't believe it!" "What?" "The Marty Survival Kit." "Like I was supposed to survive three days on this?" "Uh, hey, that's seven tasty morsels per day!" "Well, let's try them!" "No, wait!" "Hey, I bet I catch more than you!" "(LAUGHS) You wish!" "Whoo!" "(YELPS)" "(BOTH LAUGHING)" "MIKE:" "Hands off!" "That's mine!" " (LAUGHING)" " Hey." "Last one's mine!" "Forget about it!" "Whoa!" "Oh." "Just friends." "(BOTH GAGGING)" "(GASPS)" " (BANGING)" " Huh?" "What was that?" "Commander, what's that noise?" "(BLOWTORCH CRACKLING)" "Something's attached itself to the capsule and melting the hull!" "You two stay here." "Don't go out there for any reason, understand?" "I'm exiting the capsule." "I repeat, I'm stepping outside the capsule." "SCOTT:" "What?" "Frank, no!" "Frank?" "Frank!" "Jeez, I can't tell if he's totally deaf or the most stubborn man in the world." "It's the second one." "(GRUNTS)" "Grandpa!" "I have to help him." "Put your helmet on." "I'm going out." "Wait!" "What about Igor?" "(GULPS)" "(GASPS)" "Ready." "I'm coming, Grandpa!" "(GRUNTS)" "Damned electrical spider!" "Go!" "(SCREAMING)" " Yeah!" " Right on!" "We did it, Grandpa!" "You disobeyed my orders." "You could have been killed!" "(STAMMERING) I'm sorry, I just wanted to help." "Never, ever disobey my orders again." "Copy that, Commander." "(GROANS)" "Huh?" "Okay, we'll do it your way." "Give me an order." "Mike, help me with the bandage." "That's an order." "You saved my life out there." "You were very brave." "(RADIO BEEPS)" "Scott?" "(WHISPERING) No, it's Sam." "Scott's asleep." "How are the kids doing?" "They're fine." "They're out for the count." "They'll be home before you know it." "That's a promise." "Thank you, Frank." "Samantha." "Thanks for not giving up on me." "I appreciate it more than you know." "No, thank your grandson." "For good or for bad, he's in charge." "Frank, enjoy this moment." "Destiny owed you this journey." "Now get some rest." "Good night." "I just wanted to get the family back together." "Commander, why did you leave home?" "Better go to sleep." "(HUMMING)" "Are you my grandpa?" "Start undocking maneuver." "Detach Lunar Module." "FRANK:" "Lunar Module detached." "Initiating Moon landing sequence." "Don't worry." "Your father will save the day." "Initiating descent." "Wow." "Commander, you're deviating from the landing trajectory." "Correct the navigation." "Copy that." "(GRUNTING)" "Commander, do you need help?" "I'm fine." " (ALARM BEEPING)" " Commander, I repeat." "You're flying outside the trajectory." "Let me help you, Grandpa." "I mean, Commander." "Okay." "Man your controls." "Slow, no rough moves." "Now it's looking good." " (RUMBLING) - (ALARM BEEPING)" "What's happening?" "Was it me?" "It's not you." "Alarm 1201." "Hey, I didn't touch anything!" "Gentlemen, emergency protocol." "It looks like we have damage on the onboard computer." "That is why it's so difficult to control." "The computer is guiding us to the wrong place." "Do you copy?" "Roger that, Commander." "You have to deactivate the assisted guidance control." "That's what we did back in 1969." "But chances are 1 in 700." "Same as I've got with her." "Amy, please, do it." "There should be a button somewhere that reads "AGC."" "Mike, to the left." "AGC, AGC..." "Twenty seconds to landing!" "They're too fast!" "(ALARM CONTINUES BEEPING)" "AGC..." "Reduce speed!" "Amy, please!" "The computer is giving the LEM contradicting orders!" "Where are you?" "Ten seconds!" "They'll crash into the ground!" "Frank!" "Come on, come on, come on!" "JACK:" "Eight, seven..." " ...six, five, four, three..." " Amy, please!" " I found it!" " Press it, for God's sake!" "(STATIC)" "FRANK:" "Mission Control, this is Tranquility Base." "The falcon has landed." " (ALL CHEERING) - (BOTH GASP)" "You did it great, kids." "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Whoa... (SIGHS)" "Okay, recording." "Amy, you're on live broadcast." "The whole world is watching." "Grandpa." "Wow, man!" "For Armstrong that would be one small step, but for me it's gonna be..." "Whoa!" "Yes." "Yes!" "I'm the first woman on the Moon!" "(AMY LAUGHING)" "We come back as we came the first time, as a beacon of hope for all mankind." "Let's move, kids." "We are on a mission." "(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)" "We're losing communication." "Commander, your antenna is damaged." "Transferring communications to the lunar rover antenna." "Go and get that flag and show the world who got there first." "Yeah, rock and roll!" "Whoo-hoo!" "Look!" "Mike and Amy are on TV!" "Faster, Grandpa!" "We should be close." "There it is!" "MIKE:" "The flag!" "Oh, no!" "No way!" "Ha!" "I knew it." "Losers." "(SIGHS)" "Now what?" "And we're done here." "Gigs, take the minebots to the base." "Hurry up!" "Okay, sir." "MIKE:" "My God!" "They're going to destroy all trace of the Apollo missions!" "Amy, look!" "They're still there!" "Film it!" "Film it!" "We've lost the signal." "What's going on?" "Commander, do you copy?" "Where did it go?" "(IN OTHER LANGUAGE) Oh, crap!" " (MUZAK PLAYING ON TV)" " Oh, typical." "Now they go to commercials." "There's no way of getting the communication back!" "Okay." "Transfer communications to a different antenna." "Impossible." "The rover had the only available link." "Then we have to find a solution!" "We must establish communication with them!" "(ALL CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)" "Hey, do you know where I can plug this in?" "You want to plug a USB connector into a 1969 computer?" "Are you kidding?" "But I think I can fix the..." "Yes." "I need to establish a connection through any of the NASA guidance systems in the world." "You got that?" "Let's go home, sweetie." "You'll be my personal trophy." "He has the flag!" "Let's get it back." "Go, Igor." "Get the flag." "(HUMMING)" "(YELPS)" "(SCREAMING) What the heck?" "Oh, disgusting alien!" "Go, go, go!" "(YELLING)" "Come on, Igor!" "This way!" "What?" "That's my flag!" "Whoa!" "Yeah!" "Whoo-hoo!" "We did it!" "(GASPS)" "No!" "FRANK:" "Mike!" "Watch out!" "(MIKE GRUNTING)" "(BOTH SCREAMING)" "Grandpa!" "CARSON:" "This isn't over!" "Yes, I want a full report on all the Lunar Module communication systems." "Now!" "(LAUGHS)" "I don't care if the satellite needs to be reoriented!" "Just do it!" "Hey, do you know where I can find a radio from the '60s?" "There's a bunch of old junk in storage in the basement." "Oh, man!" "We've lost contact with Earth, we can't fly this thing and that whack job kidnapped my grandpa." "We are hosed!" "(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)" "Huh?" "Hello, my puny preschool punk!" "Oh, shut up, Bonehead!" "Pay attention, juvenile delinquents." "I'm offering you a deal." "You give me the flag, and I'll give you back this grumpy old fart." "(MUFFLED) No, Mike!" "Don't come here!" "Grandpa!" "You don't need to answer now." "I'll call you back in 10 seconds. (LAUGHING)" "(SIGHS) I love being generous." "No, wait!" "It's all over." "No, we can't give up now." "There's nothing else we can do." "(JEERING)" "Time's up!" "We accept your deal." "Good boy!" "Bring me the flag." "MARTY:" "I found it!" "Ahh!" "Jeez!" "All right." "I need something to increase electrical resistance." "Copper, stainless..." "Say, could I borrow this?" "He's a bad boy." "(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)" "(SMART PHONE BEEPING)" "What the..." "What's going on?" "I'm getting messages?" "Can't be." "The antenna is busted." "Seriously." "A whole bunch of them!" "But that's impossible." "There's nothing here that could transmit from..." "BOTH: (GASPING) Marty!" "(BOTH GASPING)" "You arrived at your destination." "I couldn't stand it anymore!" "Whoa." "It's huge!" "AUTOMATED VOICE:" "Adjusting gravity." "Open the hatch." "Welcome." "Now let's get on with this." "Give me the flag." "First, my grandpa." "Sure thing." "A deal's a deal." "Gigs." "(FRANK GRUNTING)" " Grandpa!" " Mike!" "Oh, I love family reunions." "How about you, Gigs?" "I've never had a family, sir." "Let him go!" "Give me that flag or say goodbye to the old fart!" "(GRUNTING)" "Okay, stop!" "I'll give you the flag!" "Good boy." "Gigs, free him." "(SIGHS)" "Well, now." "After reunion comes farewell." "Gigs, kill them." "Excuse me, sir?" "You are despicable, Mr. Carson." "What do you know, pip-squeak?" "You think you're a genius, but we all know that without your father's millions you'd never be anything." "How dare you, you little..." "Yeah, she's right." "You've inherited everything." "You haven't earned anything!" "What do you know about earning anything?" "Do you think all of this was built all by itself?" "Do you mean this factory or whatever it is?" "It's much more than a factory, you ignoramus." "It's a Helium-3 mine!" "The greatest energy source mankind has ever known." "And it's all mine!" "Look at my work!" "My father would be proud of me!" "Proud of a liar?" "You've tricked the world into thinking that man never walked on the Moon." "Proud of a genius!" "Only a genius could fool the whole world." "Only a genius could achieve the biggest energy monopoly in history." "I'll sell my energy to the whole planet, and any country that doesn't wanna pay for it..." "Boom!" "I'll disintegrate it, as I'm gonna do right now, with you!" "Nothing's a hitch if it makes you filthy rich." "Cool!" "Cool?" "(STAMMERS) What's cool?" "You've just given me the greatest headline I could ever have." "What the heck are you talking about?" "Breaking news!" "Richard Carson has just admitted that he's a shameless crook." "Smile!" "You're on camera!" "The whole world is watching." "(STAMMERING) What's happening?" "What's happening here?" "Gigs!" "What's going on, Gigs?" "This is Amy Gonzalez reporting live from the Moon." "Back to Earth." "(ALL CHEERING)" "ALL:" "Yeah!" "(MEN CHEERING)" "(BOTH CHEERING)" "Losers." " (ALL CHEERING)" " I always trusted NASA." "MARTY:" "See?" "An old NASA computer, an 800 GHz Marty Antenna and a little bit of old junk and voilà, the brand-new Marty Communicator!" "How could they send a signal to Earth?" "How?" "Now, Igor." "Go!" "I'm afraid they have their own" " portable transmitter." " (YELPS)" "You let them enter with that machine?" "You're fired!" "FRANK:" "This way!" "Don't let them escape." "Stop them!" "But am I fired or not?" "Gigs!" "(GRUNTS)" "Watch out!" "Jump!" "(ALL SCREAMING)" "(GASPS)" "(SCREAMING)" "No!" "(CHILDREN SCREAMING)" "(GROANING)" "Commander, do you copy?" "Do you copy?" "Grandpa!" "Mike!" "(GRUNTING)" "Mike!" "Stop it!" "I'm not gonna lose you again!" "Stop it!" "Listen to me!" "Mike, my helmet is cracked." "I'm running out of oxygen." "(GASPS)" "(SIGHS)" "(AIR HISSING)" "(BREATHING DEEPLY)" "You asked me something, something I couldn't answer in the last 40 years." "Why you left home?" "A few days before I was to go to the Moon, your dad came home from school with the chicken pox." "MIKE:" "You caught it off him and that's why you couldn't go to the Moon?" "Yes." "I got the chicken pox, so they replaced me." "And you blamed Dad?" "It wasn't his fault!" "You're right." "It wasn't." "But all I wanted in life was to go to the Moon, and when I lost the opportunity, I felt like a failure." "Unworthy of anything, even my family." "In reality, I felt bad for blaming little Scott." "I would look at my kid and feel ashamed of the anger I felt towards him." "And that made me think I was a bad father." "I felt so bad about it that I thought they'd be better off without me." "I was wrong." "It was the biggest mistake of my life." "AMY:" "Now, hit it!" "(CRACKLING)" "MIKE:" "Stand aside, Grandpa!" "That was a great story." "Why don't we finish it on Earth?" "(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)" "No!" "Not again!" "There you are!" "This is the last time you fool me!" "Seriously, I hate that thing." "(GATE OPENING)" "(SQUEALS)" "(GASPS)" "You ruined my plan, my life." "Now you're gonna pay for it!" "Hurry up, kids, we gotta run!" "We won't get far together." "Grandpa, you're running out of oxygen." "Just get back to the LEM." "Trust me, Grandpa." "I've got a plan." "Amy, use this as a surfboard." "But, Mike..." "Just go!" "You want this, Carson?" "(SCREAMING)" "So what's the plan?" "To get a proper kiss from you before I die." "What?" "Watch out!" "Let's teach them a lesson, Dad!" "(GASPS)" "The alien strikes back!" "(SCREAMING)" "(GROWLS) I'll turn you into stew!" "(GRUNTS)" "Marty, we need you!" "The understatement of the century!" "Activate the Marty Rocket, now!" "Uh, are you sure?" "You know it's still in the beta testing phase." "Just do it!" " Okay, okay!" "Marty Rocket on!" " (BEEPS)" "(SCREAMING)" "Full throttle." "Now!" "Gotcha!" "Well, this deserves a kiss." "Wait until I tell you my plan." "Hey, guys, what's going on up there?" "Am I missing something?" "(PANTING)" "(GRUNTS)" "(GASPING)" " (BOTH GASPING)" " Come on, Daddy." "Let's finish these brats off!" "Marty, now slow it down!" "More gas!" "More gas!" "Slow down!" "No, faster!" "Would you make up your mind already?" "What?" "I'm a machine?" "Mike, where are you going?" "Please tell me the plan." "Carson still has his Helium-3 base." "It could mean total disaster for the whole world!" "So what?" "Destroying it would be the only way to stop him!" "That's the plan." "AMY:" "What?" "Are you crazy?" "Oh, Mike, you're not thinking of doing..." "You're not gonna do..." "The Moneyball!" "Just follow my lead, Amy." "Are you with me?" "I'm gonna smash you!" "I'm gonna crush you!" "Hold on to me!" "I'm gonna grind you under my wheels!" "(YELLING)" "(GASPS)" "(PANTING)" "Mike, do you copy?" "Mike, do you copy?" "Mike!" "Do you copy?" "(GASPS)" "Yeah!" "(ALL CHEERING)" "Whoo-hoo!" "Yeah!" "Dad!" "Mission accomplished, Grandpa." "Not yet." "There is still something left to do." "FRANK:" "In 1969, mankind performed a great feat." "We flew to the Moon and planted a flag there in the name of all humanity." "Today, nearly 50 years later, we repeat this action to remind ourselves that this beautiful natural satellite does not belong to any one person, company, or country, but to all of mankind, something that future generations must continue" "to safeguard." "United, like a family." "(ALL CHEERING)" "(INAUDIBLE)" "Daddy?" "Is this heaven?" "Is that you, Dad?" "Uh..." "Mr. Carson?" "Gigs?" "What are you doing here, without a helmet?" "It turns out I don't need one, sir." "I'm an android." "Gags made me." "Gigs, if you can see this, it means your life is about to go out." "That's right, Gigs, you're an android." "I created you." "Oh, you poor little fellow." "You lost your daddy, too." "Yes, you killed him, sir." "Never mind, I forgive you." "You've got me now." "(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)" "Gigs, can we turn the annoying bot off?" "I can't, sir." "It has an infinite Helium-3 battery." "Mmm, great." "Who's the idiot who approved that?" "GIGS:" "It was you, sir." "CARSON:" "Oh." "It was a good idea."