"All right, Gus, we trained long and hard." "Hours of practice after school, all those Joe Piscopo-endorsed protein shakes." "It will all be worth it if we win that Mongoose BMX bike at the Police Department Picnic." "Yeah." "You ready?" "Mmm-hmm." "Ready, set, go!" "Come on!" "We're almost there." "Keep it up!" "Inside, outside, inside, outside!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "A new record." "We're definitely going to win that bike." "What's up?" "Oh!" "Wait, how do we decide who gets the bike?" "A good question." "We could do Eeny-meeny-miney-moe." "(LAUGHS)" "Don't insult my intelligence." "We can do Rock-paper-scissors." "Nah, too easy to cheat." "Well, we can share it." "Of course not." "Oh, I'll race you for it." "All right." "All right." "Oh!" "BOTH:" "Really?" "Really?" "Come on." "No, you really." "No, no, no, you really, because this is..." "I'm going home, man." "No, no." "I'm taping your face." "Come here." "Come here!" "Come here!" "I'm taping your face, little boy." "Come here!" "Dude, if you had told me we were boarding a ferry to the Channel Islands to do environmental cleanup, obviously I would have said no." "That's exactly what I told you." "And what did I say?" "You said no." "Then why am I here?" "Because you're easily distracted." "What?" "When it comes to mental focus, I'm sharper..." "Ooh!" "Thanks, man." "I was starved." "You know, when they say these things really satisfy, they are not lying." "So packed... (HORN BLARING)" "Oh, man." "And done." "SHAWN: (LAUGHING) Check out those outfits." "Must be on work detail." "No, I mean those outfits." "You may be into the environment, Gus, but at least you're not one of those dudes." "Hey, the Guster!" "What's happening?" "(D.C. LAUGHING)" "Long time no see, man." "How you doing?" "You remember my brother, don't you?" "Oh, of course I do, yeah." "Okay." "Guys, this is my friend, Shawn." "He'll be volunteering with us today." "Shawn, this is Dan Carter and his brother Carl." "Hola, Shawn." "You can call me D.C." "Me, C.C." "No, oh. (CHUCKLES)" "Well, that's cute." "In order to reduce carbon emissions, you guys ask people not to use your first names?" "Shawn." "You have to forgive my friend Shawn." "He's not very environmentally conscious." "It's okay, Gus, everyone's entitled to their opinion." "Before you go black Al Gore on me, you should know that your sea sickness patch fell off." "Okay, first of all, black Al Gore was your Halloween costume, not mine." "And secondly, my sea sick patch is right here." "(WHIMPERING)" "SHAWN:" "Here we go." "Let's get you to a bathroom." "Gentlemen." "(GUS GROANING) SHAWN:" "It's all right, man." "It's okay." "It's all right." "Stairs." "Don't go boneless on me, Gus." "Do not go boneless." "Sick man coming through!" "Move if you don't want to get sprayed on." "Come on." "Move it!" "Wait, hold on." "Hey, hold on a second." "I'm sorry, you going to have to wait." "You don't understand." "My friend has the equilibrium of a bumble bee." "You got to let him in there." "No, you don't understand." "The state of California law says no one can occupy a restroom with furloughed felons, which is them, except for an armed escort, which is me." "This guy here, these guys would peel that head like a grape." "Not on my watch." "The head peel is my fourth greatest fear, Shawn." "We can wait." "Are you sure?" "Mmm-hmm." "We'll wait." "Okay, I'm going to let little man go ahead." "Yeah, cool." "Come on, son." "What gives?" "You didn't see him doing his little pee-pee dance." "Even they can see that." "They're felons, not animals." "What's the matter with you?" "(GROANING)" "Come on, Gus, I'll take you to the other bathroom." "That should do it." "One would certainly hope so." "(BOTH SIGHING)" "(MUFFLED SHOUT)" "You heard that, right?" "Yes." "(MUFFLED SHOUT)" "Uh-oh." "Wait a second." "If the prison guard is here, then where are the convicts?" "Gus, this is a prison break." "In between the lines there's a lot of obscurity" "I'm not inclined to resign to maturity" "If it's all right then you're all wrong" "But why bounce around to the same damn song?" "You'd rather run when you can't crawl" "I know, you know That I'm not telling the truth" "I know, you know They just don't have any proof" "Embrace the deception Learn how to bend" "Your worst inhibitions tend to psych you out in the end" "I know, you know" "I know, you know" "I know, you know" "You're not so bad now." "All right, what happened?" "I don't know." "Shoot." "One minute I'm checking the stalls after they finished, the next thing I know I got a knot on my head and I'm waking up in this closet." "Dude, where is your gun?" "Oh, they probably turned it in for some books at the local community center." "Where do you think it's at, man?" "Listen, we need to go upstairs and tell everybody what happened." "No." "No." "No." "The last thing we need is a panic on our hands." "Man, that would put everybody in danger." "We need to call the police." "That's the sixth time you've said that today and this time I actually agree with you." "CRAIG:" "I'm going to call the bridge and inform the captain." "(TELEPHONE RINGING)" "This is Henry Spencer." "SHAWN ON PHONE:" "Dad, listen up and listen carefully." "Gus and I are on a ferry for some ridiculous environmental cleanup." "Do not editorialize, Shawn." "Four prisoners on board on a work furlough." "Now they overtook their guard with relative ease and we're pretty sure they're planning an escape." "What should we do?" "All right, all right, Shawn, listen to me and I want you to listen carefully." "You do not do anything." "Do you understand?" "We'll coordinate with the Coast Guard and intercept the vessel." "In the meantime, I want you to stay in constant contact with me." "Look, I'll try, but cell coverage is spotty at best out here." "Then don't move." "I'll call you with our ETA." "Shawn, the worst thing you can do in these situations is take matters into your own hands." "Got it." "We're going to have to take matters into our own hands." "Are you sure that's what your dad said?" "Gus, don't be the one game at Chuck E. Cheese that isn't broken." "By the time the cops arrive these prisoners will be halfway from here to the Pacific Ocean." "Halfway from here to the Pacific Ocean is the Pacific Ocean, Shawn." "(RUMBLING)" "What the heck is that?" "Why are we stopping?" "CRAIG:" "I got to the Captain." "You see, protocol says that he shuts down the engine, then he locks off the bridge, so the convicts can't get to him and hijack the ferry." "That means they're already scrambling." "But whatever they're going to do, they're going to do it soon." "Hey, man, all these dudes got at least 20 years or more." "They got nothing to lose." "They'll do anything to get off this boat." "Yeah?" "Well, we're the only ones who can stop them." "Man, I guess I had you all wrong." "Hey, look, man, I owe you all an apology for the way I treated y'all back there." "I just assumed y'all was just a couple of punk ass friends from grade school that like to get theyself in different situations then riff on things at other people's expense, you know?" "(SCOFFS) No." "(SCOFFS) No." "Couldn't be further from the truth." "That's the wrong tune." "I see, now y'all a couple of Gs." "(LAUGHS)" "I could really use y'all." "Yeah, yeah." "Craig, man." "Gus." "Shawn." "All right, so what's our play, Craig?" "What did you say?" "Our play." "What..." "What's the play, Craig?" "(ENUNCIATING) Craig, man." "Craig." "Did you see Friday?" "Are you kidding me?" ""Mama!" ""Mama!" ""Man, you just got knocked the..."" "Really, Shawn?" "We want to be used." "How can we help?" "Oh, yeah." "Y'all know where we can get some supplies?" "I believe we do." "Then right after that we spent three months in the Amazon Rainforest." "Amazon Rainforest." "True that." "(LAUGHING)" "D. C:" "Hey, the Guster." "C. C:" "Guster." "We were teaching the natives how to compost." "In hindsight, I think all they really wanted was food." "D. C:" "Why would you say that, Carl?" "C. C:" "Well, they were hungry." "Psst." "What you got?" "Here." "Oh, yeah, this'll work." "Ah." "Binoculars, yes." "Walkies, yes." "Binoculars, walkies, hemp rope." "Is there by chance a hemp rifle in there?" "Let's not forget the armed part of armed and dangerous." "Or the John Candy part." "Shawn, what are you doing right now?" "Eating a fruit roll up." "All right, Gus, we're going to split up, use the walkies to communicate." "Shawn, I want y'all to go up high, look out for anything, anything at all that would give you a clue as to these convicts' whereabouts, like passengers acting funny or scared or blacked out windows." "Anything." "Got it." "Where are you going to be?" "Once y'all radio me the convicts' location," "I'm going to isolate them from the civilians." "And that's when I'm going to make my move." "By yourself?" "Oh, I got the Lord on my side, brother." "I admire your faith." "Oh, yeah." "Let's bounce." "SHAWN:" "There they are." "(IN DEEP VOICE) Uh, Craig, you there?" "You realize you're using a radio voice?" "Not to be confused with your cell phone voice or your white dude voice." "I do not have a radio voice, Shawn." "CRAIG ON WALKIE:" "Who is this?" "Gus." "This don't sound like you." "You using some kind of radio voice or something, man?" "Listen, we have a visual on the suspects." "They're sneaking onto a life boat." "I'm on it. 10-4." "Cool." "Damn it." "Shawn, Gus!" "They sealed off all the doors to the outer deck." "GUS:" "Damn. 0kay." "We'll think of something." "(SIGHS) You ready?" "Me?" "Hey, if I'm going to die, you better be right behind me or I will haunt your kitchen cabinets until the day you die." "Watch the..." "(CLATTERING)" "(BOTH SHUSHING)" "Get the hell out of here!" "Hey!" "No!" "How was that possibly a good idea?" "Sorry, prison dudes, we simply could not let you take that lifeboat." "Now you have no choice but to stay here and wait for the police to take you in." "Actually there is another choice." "(TELEPHONE RINGING)" "Lassiter." "Tell my dad I kind of took matters into my own hands." "(CHATTERING ON POLICE RADIO)" "Okay, Mr. Northcutt, there's a way this plays out where no one, including you or your fellow inmates, gets hurt, but first and foremost, we need confirmation that the hostages are safe." "Oh, they are." "But if you want them to stay that way, then you provide us with a fully fueled boat, a GPS de-scrambler, and assure us that no one's going to follow us." "Call me back when we've got a deal." "(CALL DISCONNECTED)" "O'Hara, do we have that intel yet?" "Dane Northcutt, Sanfus Sanders," "Adam George, Gabriel Appel." "Each has a multi-page rap sheet." "The crimes range from grand larceny to armed robbery." "They've been model prisoners up until now." "This work furlough was a reward for good behavior." "They're currently armed and considered very dangerous." "They all orchestrated being on work detail at the same time." "I'm willing to bet this was their plan all along." "I don't know what happened in there, but I do know this much, it was that jackass Spencer's fault." "Lassiter, not really helpful right now." "Carlton, I am sure that whatever Shawn did, it was because he felt he had no choice." "Choice 17, you could have let them get in the boat and left your phone in there to track it." "Choice 18, you could have set your mark-ass down somewhere and let me handle it." "Choice 19, we could have gotten in the boat and got away!" "(DOOR SLAMS OPEN)" "Everyone empty their pockets into this bag." "Hey man, hey dude!" "Dude!" "What?" "Why don't you let the women and children and men go?" "Why don't you shut up?" "All right." "Come on, give it up." "Come on, give it up." "We got to do something to let them know they can trust us." "Give him the nod." "Shawn, the nod works when it's me giving it to a brother behind the counter at Jamba Juice, not an armed convict." "(CLICKS TONGUE) CRAIG:" "Look, man, we got to create an unexpected emergency." "One they ain't going to be able to handle that will throw them off and we can exploit that to break down their unity." "What kind of emergency?" "I got an idea." "Does it involve a bear?" "I've got a better idea." "Shawn!" "(GROANS)" "Sorry." "(GROANING)" "Mommy." "Help!" "Somebody!" "Somebody help!" "Yo!" "Man down!" "Man down!" "Hey, hey, hey, hey..." "What's going on here?" "Y'all two got to do something or dude is going to die." "Stay with us, Gus." "Hang in there, buddy." "We losing him." "We losing him, man." "Hey, hey, hostages start dropping up in here, cops going to be all over this piece." "You two pick him up." "What the hell are we supposed to do with him?" "Yeah, man, we ain't no doctors." "He's just seasick, you freaking idiots." "Just get him out of here." "Don't worry, Gus." "Here." "Here's another patch." "(GUS WHIMPERING)" "Okay, worry a little." "(GRUNTING)" "(GROANING)" "You know what?" "I don't like this." "It's taking the cops way too long to respond." "Yeah, way too long." "What's the ETA on the snipers?" "They're almost in position." "Yeah, well, almost isn't good enough." "MAN ON RADIO:" "Boat three in position, with the snipers." "OFFICER:" "Have all vessels clear." "That's it." "They're starting to break." "This is my chance to convince them to let us go." "All right, listen, you got to come at these guys hard if you want them to respect you." "Okay?" "No silliness, no random movie references." "This is just like Collateral." "Except I'm Jamie Foxx and you're Tom Cruise." "You're Cruise." "You finished?" "Oh, yeah, I'm done." "You sure?" "You sure?" "Because if you're not..." "I'm done." "I promise." "No, 'cause, see, you seem to think" "I ain't got nothing else better to do with my time." "We're in this thing together." "Please, finish what you were saying." "Only one way for you to come off hard." "Take the last thing they said and then you repeat it back to them, you know, like, an angry question." "That doesn't make any sense." "That doesn't make any sense?" "Oh, I stand corrected." "Oh, you stand corrected?" "(SOFTLY) Okay, I got it." "You sure?" "Yeah, yeah." "Because it's subtle." "You want to practice it?" "It's not subtle." "I got it." "The two of you need to shut up right now." "I don't want to shoot you." "Oh, you don't want to shoot us?" "You don't want to shoot us." "Man, how dare you say you don't want to shoot us." "All right, all right, man, just calm down." "Damn." "(GROANING)" "We told you to shut up." "Yo, we just saw the cops loading up two boats with snipers." "Damn it!" "(GROANS)" "You said if we went along with you, it would all be smooth." "You didn't say anything about no snipers." "Yeah, man, he's right." "I ain't trying to die." "Look, man, you ain't the only one with a dime piece waiting for him out there." "You think I wanted this to happen?" "Hey, prison dude, cops aren't playing around, okay?" "I think it's time you rethink your plan." "I'm sure they'd be willing to make a deal if you show them some good faith, a gesture, you know?" "Like that all the hostages are safe." "That's all they care about in these situations." "SHAWN:" "Did you see Dog Day?" "You're right." "You are absolutely right." "(SIGHS)" "GUS:" "Choice 21." "You could have used hypnosis to convince him to let us all go." "Gus, I was hoping he would release the hostages, not use us as a human shield." "This is Vick." "Yeah." "We're still working on getting you that boat." "Nice try, but it's too late." "You call off your snipers right now." "You'll see they have no clear shots." "CARLTON:" "Damn it!" "They're all in the way." "Okay, Mr. Northcutt, let's just remain calm." "There is an easier way out if you just surrender now." "NORTHCUTT:" "You listen to me!" "If we're not provided that boat in 10 minutes," "I'm going to start killing your hostages." "You got that?" "Chief, we have to listen to them." "Two of our own are onboard." "Well, one and a half at best." "Still not helpful." "Come on, Henry, you and I both know we have a strict policy of not negotiating in situations like this." "Chief." "Make the call." "We're going in." "The boys are going hot." "Let's go!" "No!" "Go!" "Oh, come on, man, please." "Shut up!" "I voted for Obama!" "SANDERS:" "Shut up!" "Move!" "Come on!" "Just take Carl." "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "D. C:" "We're environmentalists!" "(GUN FIRING)" "(ALL EXCLAIMING)" "(ALL CLAMORING)" "Come on!" "(COUGHING)" "Guys, put these on!" "Where are the other inmates?" "You have to go down!" "You have to go through the door and down!" "Four!" "Four prisoners on this boat." "I got four prisoners." "SNIPER:" "All right, we got them!" "No!" "Lassie, no!" "CARLTON:" "What?" "Those two aren't prisoners!" "What the hell are you talking about?" "They're not prisoners!" "Who are they?" "Um, D.C. and C.C." "All right, listen up, by the time we caught up with the stolen medic boat," "Northcutt and Sanders had already made their escape." "The hunt is now an inter-agency top priority, so we are coordinating everything with the Sheriff's department as well as the Coast Guard." "Your personal assignments have been sent to your inboxes." "Chief, anything on Northcutt or Sanders out of the Department of Corrections that can help us on this?" "I've got something, Chief." "I'm sensing these men belong to a prison brotherhood, a small cadre if you will." "This indicates there could be an accomplice who potentially aided in the escape of Northcutt and Sanfus Sanders." "Well, at this point I'll take any lead that I can get." "Okay, Mr. Spencer, let's try to find other members if any even exist." "And the rest of you, let's get to work." "We've got an hour or two at most to catch these guys and then they're gone." "Defense." "What?" "What?" "What?" "Hey, man, what are you doing here?" "I had to come in to give my statement to Detective Lassiter." "That explains the long face." "I know dealing with Lassie can be very unpleasant." "Like crawling over broken glass or any kind of wiener surgery." "No, that's not really it." "The warden called." "He fired me." "What?" "Why?" "Two dangerous convicts escaped on my watch." "Oh, come on, I'm sure a snafu like that has happened at the prison before." "First time." "Ooh." "In that case..." "Man, I'm really sorry." "I'm not." "There's no excuse for letting those men get the jump on you and putting those civilians at risk." "At the very least, you should be bleeding to death from a bullet taken while trying to stop their escape." "Come on, Lassie, there's no reason to kick a man when he's already down." "That's exactly when a man should be kicked because that's the only way he learns." "The nuns taught me that." "Wow." "Lassie, the more I learn about you, the more I'm convinced you are the Penguin." "Except lankier." "Look, I do my job and put those animals behind bars." "It was your job to keep them there." "Yeah, well, your next job is about to be that you better get up out of my face kind." "Gladly." "(SNIFFING)" "You reek of failure." "What?" "That gay dude is right." "I am a failure." "I messed up the only job I ever had." "The only thing I know how to do is be a prison guard." "I got no other skills." "And I'm supposed to be helping my mom and dad with their medical bills." "Hey, man, look, often when one door closes, another even better door will open in the future." "Ah, whatever." "Gus and I can give you some money." "That's not the kind of door I was talking about." "Fellows, I appreciate it, but I can't take your charity." "That's not how I was raised." "I'm not talking about charity, Craig," "I'm talking about giving you a job." "The truth is we need you, man." "You knew more about Northcutt and Sanders than anybody." "You help us find these guys and we will split our fee for the case." "Still not the door I was talking about." "(SHUSHES)" "You know, that might be cool." "All right." "Deal." "Yeah." "Craig is back." "All right." "Let's get cracking, man, to the blueberry." "I'll get my coat and meet you in the parking lot." "Man." "My man." "(LAUGHING) Yeah, brother." "(LAUGHING)" "Man, how's he going to fit in the car?" "I don't know." "Shawn, I'm all about helping a brother out, but did you have to offer him half?" "Don't worry." "We'll give him my half." "It won't cost you a cent." "Oh, so, now I'm the greedy miser?" "No, we'll give him my half." "And done." "All right, cool." "Thanks, Hector." "All right, so, my man who's guarding Unit B said that Sanders and Northcutt formed the Tres Diablos five years ago with Northcutt's cellmate." "His name, Percy Dunn." "Percy Dunn?" "The lightning thief." "No, that's Percy Jackson, Shawn." "Either way he could have helped them plot their escape." "Let's question him." "You ain't getting nothing out of Dunn, man." "He been dead two years." "Hmm." "GUS:" "Dunn." "I feel like I saw that name in one of the escapee files." "Come on, Gus, don't say things just for the sake of making noise." "No." "Here it is right here." "Lorraine Dunn, 2409, Via Esperanza." "She's a volunteer GED tutor at the prison." "And guess who's been one of her regular students for the past two years?" "Northcutt." "Mmm." "Mmm." "To the blue..." "Shawn." "Berry." "I met Dane when he shared a cell with my late son, Percy." "Hmm." "Is that you and Percy there?" "Yes." "I used to work at that church." "And Percy would help me clean the place after school." "We didn't make much money, but it was enough to put food on the table and keep Percy out of trouble." "It's no coincidence that when the church was boarded up," "Percy started running with the gangs and we know how that ended." "Dane really helped me with my grief after Percy passed away." "The two of you got pretty close over the years." "Dane means the world to me." "Excuse me, what is the name of this drink?" "It's my homemade horchata." "It's surprisingly tasty." "(CHUCKLES) Gracias." "Gus, do you mind?" "We're sort of in the middle of something." "Mrs. Dunn, this is muy importante." "Did Dane try to contact you after he escaped custody?" "No." "He hasn't." "You know what?" "I think I'll have one more glass of this delicious horchata if you don't mind." "(GASPS)" "Oh!" "I just cleaned this table." "Uh, Shawn, let me holler at you for a second." "(SNIFFLING)" "This cracker's lying." "I know, but..." "Cracker?" "It's Prison 101, Shawn." "Convicts' moms lie to protect their sons." "You heard her." "Northcutt is like her own flesh and blood." "No way he would have left town without saying goodbye." "(SPRAYING)" "So how do you want to handle it?" "I'm a psychic detective, remember?" "Not really." "Mrs. Dunn, I'm afraid you lied to us." "Now, do we need to call the police?" "Because I happen to know a detective who doesn't mind roughing up older women." "Okay." "He was here." "Dane was here earlier." "What did he say?" "Where's he headed?" "He didn't tell me." "He just wanted to make sure I was okay and to see the room where Percy grew up, to pay his respects." "That's all." "I swear." "Gus." "Wow." "Miss Dunn isn't much of a house cleaner for someone so trigger happy with their Pledge." "Gus, Craig," "I've arrived at the following two conclusions." "First, this is likely one of the largest pencils in North America." "Agreed." "And I know what Northcutt was looking for." "A key." "And he found it." "Chief, I'm sensing the key that Northcutt found in the vent is also the key to where he is going." "Pun intended." "It wasn't a pun." "You just used the same word twice." "Noted and ignored." "I just got a tip from my CI." "Two men matching the description of our suspects just hired an immigrant smuggler to get them out of the country." "It's fairly certain the vehicle being used in the job is a locally owned big rig set to leave Santa Barbara in two hours." "What is this embarrassment to law enforcement doing here?" "About to kick your Ichabod-Crane-Iooking ass, that's what." "(ALL CLAMORING)" "Enough, we are running short of time." "Let's go." "Come on." "Lassiter, I need you to track down ASAP every coyote that's been busted in the last six months and pull the manifest from every trucking company and independent contractor who has a rig that meets these criteria, please." "Yes, ma'am." "Yes, ma'am." "You're so lucky she's standing there." "Mr. Guster, Mr. Spencer, just go follow the key lead." "You got it." "We on it." "Let's go, baby." "(LAUGHS)" "(GASPS)" "SHAWN:" "We need to access Percy Dunn's prison files." "See if there's anything in there to tell us what that key might be for." "Wow." "Craig, I have an idea, why don't you use my dad's computer?" "My security code still works in the prison database." "Sweet." "CRAIG:" "Percy Dunn." "All right, it says here his last stretch was 20 years for armed robbery." "Dunn was involved in the California Federal heist of '99." "I remember reading about that." "Something about it was never solved." "I heard there was a million dollars in cash that was never recovered." "Fellows, that's it." "Dunn and Northcutt were cellmates." "Dunn knew he wasn't going to make it so he told Northcutt where he stashed the million and that is what the key's for." "GUS:" "But where's the key to?" "SHAWN:" "Locker." "A storage room." "Safety deposit box." "Hey, guys, any new leads?" "Hey you feel, mama?" "Dude, really?" "She a dime piece." "Dime piece?" "What is that, like an invisible stop watch or a chocolate coin?" "It's a hot woman, a 10." "And thank you." "Oh, yeah." "Wow." "You ain't the only one with a dime piece waiting for him out there." "Dime piece." "Northcutt has a girlfriend." "Look, I'm going to tell you boys the same thing that I told the cops, I haven't seen or heard from Dane in weeks." "Um, Shawn, could I holler at you for a minute?" "She lying." "I know." "I also noticed you didn't use cracker." "I'm complicated." "(MIMICKING CAR DRIVING)" "Everyone empty their pockets into this bag." "Come on, give it up." "(GASPS) Patty!" "I'm sensing that while you and Dane have had your fair share of problems in the past, recently he's tried to be a much better father to Travis." "Okay, yeah, he came through here earlier." "He was being all sweet to Travis and talking about buying us a new place in a nice new neighborhood." "He was even talking about going to church tonight." "It's no coincidence that after the church was boarded up," "Percy started running with the gangs." "(CHUCKLES)" "(SOFTLY) I know where the money is and I know what the key is for." "Thank you." "Imagine lugging around all that dough." "Do you have any idea how much a million in cash must weigh?" "Seriously, do you?" "It's not that much, Shawn." "It's like a 100, 100 stacks." "It probably weighs as much as a pumpkin." "Agree to disagree." "Why did you ask?" "(SHUSHES)" "You asked me..." "(SHUSHES)" "We've got to stop those guys." "No, what we need to do is call Lassie and Juliet and let them stop these guys." "There's no time." "I agree with Shawn." "We need to make our move right now." "Fine." "Everybody find something you can use as a weapon." "Shawn." "Come on." "Hurry up." "That's what you picked as a weapon?" "A candle?" "What?" "Too waxy?" "Here." "Take this." "This is the Bible." ""As for the deeds of men, by the words of your lips" ""I have kept from the paths of the violent."" "Psalms 17:4." "What?" "Now let us go forth and kick much ass." "Craig 1:1." "Come on!" "(SCREAMS)" "(GROANS)" "(COCKING)" "CRAIG:" "Better think about that little boy of yours, Northcutt." "Gus, it worked." "It's a miracle." "No, Shawn, it's not." "I'll take that." "Craig?" "I can't believe Craig turned on us like that." "Really?" "That's funny, seeing as how you're the one that gave him the idea." "Excuse me?" "At the police department, you told him that he should have faith that good things will happen in his life, like, oh, I don't know, finding a million dollars." "No, Shawn, I meant the kind of faith you find in the Bible." "You know, like, "faith is the substance of things hoped for."" "You're not going to confuse me by switching languages." "What?" "Just so you punks know, we're going to kill you." "And then we're going to get our money back from that hack." "(GRUNTING)" "And kill him." "Yeah." "(GRUNTING)" "You're not wriggling enough." "I'm wiggling as much as I can." "Wriggling, Gus." "Wriggling!" "What difference does it make?" "I'm doing it as much as I can." "Use your teeth to tear the tape." "I just got them cleaned." "Shawn." "We're going to have to come up with another way out of this." "I know." "What's the first thing that comes to your mind?" "I'm about to die." "What's the second thing?" "I'm about to die on an empty stomach." "Man, what's the third thing?" "I don't know." "What do you want from me, Shawn, the cabinet?" "BOTH:" "The cabinet!" "We got the drop on you!" "This way." "(BOTH GRUNTING)" "SHAWN:" "Let's go!" "GUS:" "Let's go!" "Let's go!" "SHAWN:" "Whoa, no, Craig!" "BOTH:" "Hey!" "That's a company car!" "Craig!" "(CAR DOOR CLOSING)" "Damn!" "Dude, if we go through those woods, we can cut him off before he hits the bottom of the drive." "The question is, do we still have our good stuff?" "Of course we do." "We can do this, Shawn." "Damn right, we can." "We're the best there ever was." "What?" "Shared leg first." "(EXHALES)" "Syncopated breathing." "(BREATHING RHYTHMICALLY)" "(SCREAMING)" "(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)" "Oh, hell no!" "No, no, no!" "(BOTH SCREAMING)" "(BRAKES SCREECHING)" "(WHIMPERING)" "Shawn!" "Shawn!" "Gus!" "Come on." "(BOTH EXCLAIMING)" "Oh, man, I'm so glad you two are all right." "I mean, I could never live with myself if I hurt either one of you." "Okay." "Bye." "What?" "Whoa, whoa, isn't this where you're supposed to reconsider what you're doing?" "Why would I do that?" "Because it's wrong." "You're better than this, Craig." "I used to be." "Hell, I had a good career." "I was making around 40K a year with excellent benefits, but that's all gone now." "Hell, in this job climate" "I'd be lucky to land a part-time gig somewhere as a night watchman making 15." "Dude, I had no idea it was so rough out there." "Yeah, it is." "How much did we make last year?" "I'm not telling you." "That's fair." "Hey, with this money I can take care of my parents, my grandparents, my aunties, my uncles, my little cousin, Brucey, and my aunt Merriam and them." "I can get these corns removed and I might even have a little left over to fulfill my lifelong dream, opening a wine bar in Bangkok." "Those seem like worthy goals, Craig." "The question you want to ask yourself, does Bangkok need another wine bar?" "Seriously, Shawn?" "That's the question you want to ask?" "I'm concerned that the Turkish market is a little oversaturated." "Bangkok is in Thailand, Shawn." "The more important question is, Craig, do you want to throw away your entire life of doing right for this one wrong?" "Think about it." "Now give me the gun, Craig." "No." "(BOTH SCREAMING)" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "What?" "Dude, I am so proud of you." "I better call Lassie and Jules." "Gus, you and Craig make sure those guys stay put." "You got it, partner." "Yeah." "Wait, wait, wait!" "(SCREAMING)" "Hope you enjoyed your furlough, fellas." "Because you won't be getting your next one until forever." "Yeah, um, probably not a good idea to taunt violent criminals, fellas." "You never know, they might escape, you know, get out some day and believe me, they hold grudges." "Excuse the sarcasm." "Just kidding." "Little joke." "(LAUGHING) Messing around with you guys." "Hey, listen, I'm really sorry." "I lost my head back there at the church." "We probably can't be friends after what I've done, but I hope you forgive me." "Listen, Craig, everyone makes mistakes." "That's what makes us human." "The important thing is that in the end, you made the right choice." "Sounds like the wrap up to a Scooby-Doo episode." "I know." "I didn't really..." "Just to prove to you that we do not hold grudges, we are still going to split our fee with you." "I really appreciate that." "I mean, especially since I'm the one that owes you." "I know." "That's right." "Hey, sounds like things got a little hairy down at the church." "What exactly happened?" "Well, Northcutt and Sanders there got the drop on Gus and I, which is rare." "Mmm-hmm." "But luckily," "Craig was there to save the day." "It was pretty cut and dry." "Well, great job, Officer." "And I'll have you know I've already spoken to the warden and in light of your actions today," "I think there's an excellent chance that you're going to get your job back." "Boom." "What?" "See?" "I told you things work out if you just have a little faith." "And there's more good news." "There's a $100,000 reward for returning the stolen money from the Cal Fed robbery." "What?" "So, congratulations again, Craig." "(ENUNCIATING) Oh, it's Craig." "(ENUNCIATING) Craig." "Okay." "Hercules!" "Hercules!" "Hercules!" "Dude, that's awesome!" "Oh, wow!" "GUS:" "I told you." "Gus, you were so right." "You see what I'm saying?" "This turned out better than I could have ever imagined." "A hundred Gs." "Okay." "Whoo." "Bye." "(LAUGHING)" "Take care, man." "Wait a minute." "Isn't he forgetting something?" "The part about how he owes us." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Craig!" "No, no, no." "No, no!" "Craig!" "Craig!" "Dude, we got a postcard from Craig." "GUS:" "Oh, I guess you were wrong about the Bangkok wine bar market." "You know, technically half of that wine bar is ours." "We should go over there and claim it." "Except we can't afford the airfare because you gave away half our fee." "It was for a worthy cause." "Speaking of a worthy cause." "There's another environmental cleanup on the island this afternoon." "Gus, I will tell you exactly the same thing I told you last time." "No." "Cool." "I get it." "(GASPS) Thanks, man, I'm starving." "It's so easy." "Packed with peanuts!" "I know, you know That I'm not telling the truth" "I know, you know They just don't have any proof" "Embrace the deception Learn how to bend" "Your worst inhibitions tend to psych you out in the end" "I know, you know" "I know, you know" "I know, you know"