"My father gave me a box of photographs." "These are from our trip to India." "I only went there once." "I was eleven." "Photographs" "A film by Andrés Di Tella" "After looking at the pictures, I dreamed of Mother" "I was on a train." "And she went by on another." ""It's not possible", I thought." "And I woke up." "She doesn't really look like you..." " But I see myself in her eyes." " There's something..." "She looks like you." "Well, after all she's my mother!" "She's your mother, right." " She was really dark skinned..." " Yes." "She looks really dark skinned." "Yes" "This is at the races." "There's something of the colonial past here..." "This was still at the end of the British Empire in India." "And you mother was from Madras?" "Yes, in the South." "It is a rather traditional area." "As I said, I was there just one time, when I was eleven." "My mother never took me back." "I don't know why." "She has beautiful eyes." "Let me see..." "Look at this..." "They had hunted it, for sure" "Your mother has a rifle." "Did she kill the tiger?" "I don't know who all of these people are." "My father doesn't remember either." "So I have to go there and ask." "She tried to cross out names..." "I remember once she tore apart many photos... of my father and her together." "One day, I discovered the word "wog"." "A fight at school, in London, where I lived from 9 to 14." "A boy called me "fucking wog"." "There are no pictures of this." "I found a clue in a jam jar." "A character named "Gollywog"." "All this is grandma Kamala's stuff." "Do you want to open it yourself?" "No, it's just newspapers." "That's all there is." "Look inside the papers." "Let's see, open it." "An elephant." " Let's see what else..." " A painting..." " A house." " It's a house in London..." " At least it's nice..." "...where Freud lived." " And this is Freud." " Freud." "Number five." "Let's see..." "That's the studio." "And last, number six... the bed." "The couch." "We're like thieves!" "A brush..." "Grandma liked to keep things to give away as little presents." "What a big nose!" "Well, she has a big nose." "What can I do about it?" " She looks a bit like grandma." " Leave it there." "These are two giant puppets." "They are two evil monsters!" "I'm a bit shorter..." "Look!" "Better put them away." "It feels like a grave in here." "Today is Sunday." "I don't know the exact date." "Yesterday, among Mother's things, I found some tapes." "I guess she made them as part of her work." "Are you reading?" "Are you reading, or are you trying to tell me something?" "What do you want to tell me?" "There was some other stuff she shot over there." " What's this?" " It's a microphone." "This is where you put the camera." "To shoot from higher up." "And it turns this way..." " And what's this?" " The camera." "Do you want to film me?" " Yes!" " OK." "It's all black!" "What do you mean, all black?" " What do you want to film now?" " Eh..." "Do you want to film the dinosaurs?" "We can film..." "All right, yes, the dinosaurs." " Let's go to your room." " Impossible, everything's flooded." "What's all flooded?" "The club." "Darling, get dressed to go and buy your Tintin." "Buy Tintin!" "Let's go and film the dinosaurs." "Wait!" "You'll interrupt the film!" "I'd like to tell Rocco something about India." "It's part of his legacy too." "I feel ashamed, But I don't know anything at all." "Dad, wait here a second." "Press stop." " Did you do it?" " Yes." "Ready, dad." "In my family romance, my mother was the only Indian in Argentina." "But one day, I found out there was another." "It ends like that!" "We are here..." "We passed La invernada." "The other Indian..." "I found him through José Rivarola." "José is writing a book about Ricardo Güiraldes and India." "I read Don Segundo Sombra at school." "The classic Gaucho novel." "But I didn't know that Güiraldes was one of the first Argentines to travel to India, in 1911." "A precursor to my Father..." "There it is. "La Porteña"." "The Güiraldes family ranch." " Will they let us in?" " I hope so!" " Good morning." " Good morning." "We're doing some research about Ricardo Güiraldes." " He used to live here, right?" " Yes, sir." " In which period did he live here?" " Until he died." "He died here?" " No, he died in Paris." " He died in Paris." "But he lived here?" "No." "He lived in Buenos Aires." "But he spent long seasons here." " This is where he used to write?" " He wrote here, yes." "Also in Paris." "Also in Buenos Aires." "He wrote everywhere." "He was a writer." " Are you a relative of Ricardo Güiraldes?" " Yes, sir." " How old are you?" " Me?" "Yes, excuse me... 56 years old." " Didn't you go to school..." " Marin School." "...to Esquiú?" " Esquiú also." "Who are you?" " I recognised you." " Seriously, who are you?" " José Rivarola." " Rivarola!" "Son of a..." "I thought you might be..." "I remember you told me you were Ricardo Güiraldes' nephew." "But I haven't seen you since you were in shorts." "And you've got a beard!" "I always wondered about you." "Really?" "That's funny!" " Where are you living, in Spain?" " Yes, in Spain." " You married a Spanish woman?" " Yes." "I lived in Pamplona." "Now I live in Ibiza." "You had the right profile to end up in Ibiza!" "I became a hippie." " You had the right profile" " I've been living a lot in India." "I got a job doing this thing..." "As a tourist guide in India." "So I'm half there and half..." "José discovered that Don Segundo Sombra, the archetypical gaucho, the symbol of Argentina, was actually an Indian guru..." "Güiraldes was inspired by a swami he met on that trip." "Something else they don't teach at school is that the first vision of Don Segundo Sombra came to Güiraldes in India... while smoking haschish." "Notes about my spiritual evolution in search of the future." "What is this, José?" "This is the last thing Güiraldes wrote." "Can you see it?" "The last thing he wrote." "What's unbelievable is that Güiraldes... had an Indian heir." "Adelina del Carril, Güiraldes widow, adopted him in India." "José met him on a trip, in Bangalore." "Here's Ramu." "I discovered him by the color." "Of course, that olive color!" "Dark skinned people here look different." "Of course!" "Comodoro Güiraldes, the writer's nephew... disputed the Indian's right to the legacy." "The Güiraldes family were not happy about..." "Ricardo Güiraldes' legacy ending up in this Indian's hands." "The Indian that was Adelina del Carril's adoptive son." "Why do you dress like that?" "I've never been asked that question quite like that." "First, because I like it." "Second, because doing so..." "Is my way of defending tradition." "When Adelina returned from India..." "Adelina del Carril spent a long time... away from Argentina" " as a result of the war." " Yes, yes." " She stayed in Bangalore." " For eleven years." "And she came back with that pimp, who pretended he was..." "Ricardo Güiraldes' adoptive son." "I met him, I wanted to ask you about him." " I don't know him that much." " He's a real character." "He was born 32 years after Ricardo Güiraldes' death." "But that doesn't matter!" "Indians are like that, they transmigrate!" "So he transmigrated So he transmigrated" "Ramachandra Gowda sued me because I called him a blackmailer." "He appropriated Adelina's will." "He was an intruder." "How did I prove he was an intruder?" "In such a way that the judge said:" ""Look for another figure."" ""The way you put it is offensive And could only make it worse"." "The judge asked: "What do you understand by intruder?"" "I looked at Ramachandra, who was dark skinned." "I said: "An intruder is like a dove in a flock of crows, or a black crow in a flock of white doves"." " It was a bit..." " Yes, it was harsh." " And a little bit racist, no?" " Yes, racist." "The English would say: "It has been a most unfortunate event"." "In my life's work with Güiraldes that episode is a stain." "What's this, Rocco?" "They're the Yaks." "What are the Yaks?" "Sort of like buffalos with curved horns." "And very hairy." "I think there's one coming." "It's looking at you." " Aren't you a little bit afraid?" " No." "Not a bit?" "No." "Mommy" "The yaks were brought from India to make a movie." "Set in the Himalayas but shot in Argentina." "The poor Yaks were left behind, stuck in the Pampas." "What's up, Yak?" "Want to go back to India?" "The Comodoro told me Ramachandra had gone back to India." ""I'm happy he found his roots"." "But José had doubts." "He hadn't answered his last letters." "One morning I met with Adolfo de Obieta to talk about his father, the writer Macedonio Fernández." "I didn't know he was also a friend of Ramachandra." "As if admitting me into some secret society..." "Adolfo told me Ramachandra was back." "But almost incognito." "He was secluded in a small hut, in a lost village in Patagonia." "Watch your step, it's slippery" "And the one that leads you to that possibility is the guru." "The guru can be man or woman." "Guru means "teacher"." "At least he initiates you in your first steps." "Otherwise you may spend your life just trying to find your way" "After a week in Epuyen, Ramachandra" " Rama - finally let me film him." "We agreed I wouldn't ask him about the Güiraldes affair." "But Rama talked all the time about Don Segundo Sombra and Güiraldes'philosophy." "Don Segundo." "Don Segundo takes him apart in the taming scene." "That's in chapter two." "Do you have it in mind?" "I can lend it to you so you can read it with different eyes." "It's after the fall, when he's trying to tame the horse." "He almost breaks his neck." "After a couple of days, Don Segundo takes him aside." ""So you don't become a laughing stock, I'll teach you"." "But on one condition: "You must do everything I say." "And no discussions"." "A commitment." "Yes." "The commitment of obedience." "Because the first steps are hard." " It's the hardest part." " It's really hard." " How is Rocco doing?" " Not very well." "He doesn't look too good." "He looks ill." "He has to take care." "Poor Rocco." "He wants cuddles!" "Artemia." "Did you say "hi"?" "Did you say "miau, miau"?" "Rama was an intruder, a black crow in a flock of white doves." "I could understand that." "But as the only heir, he dedicated his life... to putting back together everything Comodoro Güiraldes had censored from Ricardo Güiraldes' work." "Everything that might have interested us back at school." "His experiences with drugs, his dialogue with the spirit world, and his devotion to Hinduism." "These are magical books..." "This is another one." "It looks slim." "But you never finish reading it." "You can borrow it." "In order to talk with Rama, I started reading all of Güiraldes," "But also, for the first time, some Hindu philosophy." "Why do you film me peeing?" "Goal!" "Did you see I scored?" " Dad, did you see I scored?" " What are you doing, Rocco?" "Peeing." "Peeing." "Did you hear?" "Oh, no!" " What's up?" " I wet my shoes." "When I was talking to you." "What happened when you were talking to me?" "When I was talking to you, I let go with my hands..." "And the wee wee went all over my shoes!" "Rama gave Rocco a statue of Nandi, Shiva's bull." "Intermediary between men and the God." "I appreciate the ride." "But now you have to tell me about you." "Up to now, you've only made me talk about myself." "The thing is, to be an Indian in Argentina meant nothing to me." "I mean, my mother was Indian, She was sort of dark-skinned." "I didn't quite know why" "But there was not much more than that." "But, you lived with her?" "Yes." "But when I went to England I realized she belonged to a category She was Indian." "And in England, the English being the way they are it wasn't the best category in the world to belong to." "The English have always had their racist part, like every European." "It was tough, and painful, to face the fact I was being treated as if I was Indian." "People saw me as an Indian." "And I didn't know that I was." "I had nothing to hold on to." "It was a difficult situation." "And I think that marked me." "And perhaps it brought about..." " A rejection?" " A rejection of all things Indian." "What struck me about your letter is how little you knew about India." "That your mother told you practically nothing about India." "In my case, I have five children." "And it's the same process." "If they don't ask, I don't tell them anything." "In my case, I'm a mixed breed..." "And the mix can be terribly confusing..." "I became obsessed..." "When this happened in England, I began to look at people in the street." "And in London you can see a lot of different people." "And many mixed breeds too." "And I would guess, "what can this one be?"" "I even fantasized about what they may think about me." "Some saw me as an Indian." "But others may have thought:" ""He must be Iranian or Italian from the South, Or Turkish"." "Ramachandra's story is a kind of mirror of Mother's destiny." "There are things I can talk about with him like with no one else." "But there are a lot of things he won't speak about." "I wonder what hurt is he hiding?" "And does it have anything to do with mine?" "Andrés." "Correspondence with TSDT." "TSDT is me." "Holy shit!" "I'm a guy who keeps things." "1972." "All the nonsense you used to write to me." "Oh!" "I'm so sad in Oxford, I feel bad." "I want to go back to Buenos Aires." "To study at Buenos Aires University." "Kamala." "Correspondence with TSDT." "This is hard, eh?" "1978, we had separated." "What was it like, in the early 50s," "To be a couple..." " How do you call it?" " Inter-racial." "There were many." "There were quite a lot." "Really?" "Now it's less unusual." "But at that time..." "Yes, there were many." "Of course it wasn't so common." "Nobody took any notice." "They didn't?" "No, nobody noticed." "A white man and a woman of another origin was tolerable." "That's how the racist thing goes." "A non white man with a white woman..." "That's as if he were stealing property from the white race." "And that's more complicated." "How did your mother take your marrying an Indian?" "Not too well." "Not too well." "At the time, for you, marrying an Indian woman was an act of rebellion?" "Oh, time for psychoanalysis!" "I feel as if I were dusting off memories, dusting off the past." "Do you want to hire me as a statue cleaner?" "This must be Sri Ganesha, the elephant god." "But this is not the elephant god." "I'm sorry to disappoint you." "This is just an elephant." "The elephant god mixes an elephant face and man's legs." "Or a fat boy's tummy." "It isn't the elephant god?" "At the English ambassador's residency in India..." "I found 11 consecutive issues of "The Scream of Death"." "An Argentine comic from the 50s." "It was hot and the sky heralded rain." "But the good mood could be felt... in the tinkle of laughter" "What is the tinkle of laughter?" "A lot of people laughing together" "The good guys are the English and the bad guys are the Thugs." ""A sect of stranglers, famous for their cruelty and fanaticism"." "But I love stories like these about India." "Full of reversals of fortune and characters... who are never what they seem to be." "They've either been hypnotized or they're double agents or traitors." "India is an extraordinary land." "Next to signs of progress are links to its mysterious past." "Your eyelids are feeling heavy..." "You want to become a dog!" "Transform yourself into a dog!" "Your eyelids are heavy because you are... a dog." "Madras..." "Here." "Madras." "There grandmother was born." "I don't think I was rebelling." "It was more like an escape." "Marrying an Hindu woman meant "To Hell with it!" "I'm leaving!"" "At first I thought I'd stay and live in India." "Or at least stay in India for a long time." "Kamala identified with India." "She couldn't imagine not living in India." "I thought she wanted to run away from India." "No." "But why didn't she convey that identity to me?" "Because by then she'd lost her Indian identity" "Her Indian identity wasn't really that strong." "It was more of a political, youthful sort of thing." ""I want to play a part in the development of my country"..." "But she got over that." "And nothing remained." "Nothing at all." "But we went around India." "We were in the Socialist Party." "Some of the leaders were our friends." "The fact is that in the end they kicked us out of India." "They expelled us because I got involved in politics." "I was a bit tired of India so it was kind of convenient." "I never believed India had a special kind of message... cultural, ethical or religious." "It was a life experience, and actually a brutal one." "A brutal experience." "Really brutal." "From the beginning, we had this kind of relationship." "We were always about to break up with Kamala." "Then she became pregnant." "We hadn't planned it." "We said: "Let's go ahead"." "So we went to India." "I mean, to England." "But we went back by ship." "We stopped in Sri Lanka." "We spent a night there, waiting for the ship." "We looked around, did some tourism." "And I recall a situation, we were in a hotel and she had a moment of crisis." "Kamala said: "I've ruined my life, I've ruined my life"." "Like she was mixing things up." ""I ruined my life because now I have to leave the country"." "Or "because I have children before time" or whatever." "But I was really overwhelmed." "But our relationship has always been quite shaky." "With some very good things at the beginning" "Today my father said nobody noticed them." "But why did the Swedish paper publish that photo?" "He later admitted that in London nobody would rent them a flat." "After some years in London, where my brother Victor was born..." "Torcuato and Kamala ended up in Argentina." "Then we came and we went several times..." "In Buenos Aires, my father created a foundation in support of the arts." "The famous Di Tella Institute." "But it was my mother who made friends with the artists." "And perhaps that began to get between them." "One bailer' s more than enough." "But shoud I put it?" "Wherever you want." "It's incredible, he's identical." "To whom?" "Picasso." "I've only just met this man." "But look!" "If you cover this part... he looks just like Picasso!" "As long as it's not Dali..." ""I'm not a diva, not Marylyn, not Picasso:" "I'm Marta Minujin"." "My mother's best friend was Marta Minujin," "A synonym for the so-called "Di Tella generation"." "Did she talk about India with her?" "Marta, when did you meet Kamala?" "I met her in 1968 when I lived in New York and came back." "I was 25, 26 years old and I imported the hippie culture." "I didn't see her again until London, when I moved in with her." "It must have been 1970..." "I remember, as a kid, I felt as if there was an Arab camp..." "That was the Egyptian." "Kamala said, "Come and live with us"." "And I went." "And so did the Egyptian." "We all stayed to live." "And you were there, a small kid eating cereal in the kitchen." "The little warm wonders around" "On the grass Drawing a little drawing." "It looks just like the little warm" "And the little drawing wonders around" "It came out yesterday." "It's a chocolate Marta Minujin." "It will sell for five pesos." "I love it!" "It's delicious." "Another friend was RD Laing..." "The psychiatrist who invented Anti-Psychiatry." "They created an alternative clinic in a house in London." "Patients, doctors and nurses lived in a community." "Like a kind of family for those who had to escape their real families." " What are you looking for?" " The other pair of glasses." "I must have left them in the office today." "The rules of the family, according to RD Laing." "Rule A:" "No." "Rule A.1:" "Rule A doesn't exist." "Rule A.2:" "No discussing the existence or inexistence... of rulesA, A.1 and A.2." "I found some of Mother's pictures that I'd never seen." "Don't you feel that she broke down at some point?" "I think it was when she separated from your father." "She was extremely free." "But deep down, she couldn't accept that the family nucleus was broken." "In India it's a big family." "Your own family is just a branch of the big tree." "She never saw her parents, but she never broke away." "Even though she went to live in San Francisco when she was 16." "When they separated, she broke down." "And she always thought they'd get back together." "Then she was constantly searching for a family" "And that's why she died, for not finding her own space." "In the hippie period, it didn't matter because nobody had a family" "With the hippies, you had an aunt, a grandfather who weren't your own." "But then, here in Buenos Aires, everybody had their family, so where was her place?" "Where should she sit at the table?" "It wasn't the adaptation from India, it was the adaptation of her own self." "She had a divided self." "How's that?" "She had a divided self." "Marrying your father, she married another civilization." "Studying in London Wasn't the problem." "It was having kids with an Argentine." "And you came out that way, divided." "I asked her why she didn't take you there more." "To profit from Indian culture." "It was odd." "And what did she say?" ""They're not interested", she said." "How did you decide to cremate everyone?" "I think it was because we had no place left." "So I decided to cremate everybody." "I didn't get permissions from all descendants." "I incinerated my grandmother without asking my uncle, her son." "Maybe I thought of myself as the owner of all this." "Here's for the 20 years we were married." "Ten white and ten red." "You can take that any way you want." "You never thought about death?" "No." "I was never interested in India until Mother died." "Too late." "I think I may take Mother to India." "You should check." "You don't want them to take her away from you." "No, no, well..." "At customs. "What's this?"" "But it has to do with Hindu religion." "Yes, of course." "But they may say it's dirty, or sick." "Maybe it has bugs." "Find out." "Can you place one foot in front of the other?" "Are you dizzy?" "OKThat's it." "Great." "You have to make a four." "I'll hold you." "The day I bought the tickets, I had the strangest feeling." "In the neurological examination one is looking for symptoms... of damage, but there's nothing of the sort." "We have to run some tests..." "But I think it's vertigo..." "For the first time in my life, I felt vertigo." "I realized I didn't want to go to India, I never wanted to go." "Is walking a form of meditation?" "It depends on whether you accompany it with your mantra." "All the munis, the biyis, the wise men who are searching..." "Since I arrived in India, I can't sleep." "Rocco doesn't get to sleep until very late either." "When Cecilia explained that if I didn't sleep, I'd get ill..." "Rocco came to tell me a bedtime story." ""A man was sick and he had to travel by train." "He fell asleep and he was cured"." "My cousin Gautam came to fetch us." "He promised to show me photos of our childhood trip." "I didn't even recognize him." "As a welcome, he took us to the immersion ritual for Ganesha." "The famous elephant god." "I'm asking them all, Andrés, "What is the significance behind all this?"" "And they say: "We don't know!"." "What does any of this have to do with me?" "Ever since they told me I was Indian, at school in London..." "I always tried to hide it." "But something worse started happening to me." "I didn't like Indian girls." "I had become a racist." "And if I didn't like Indian girls, no girl would like me." "Because I was Indian." "But I wasn't Indian." "In the mirror, I could see I was Indian." "Or worse, I could see the Indian others saw." "I could never talk about this with my mother." "As if bringing up the subject were some kind of accusation." "They invited us to the wedding of a cousin." "Or a nephew, I'm not sure." "They told me to dress up." "I don't have a clue what to wear." "For the wedding..." "This one makes you look fatter." "I feel like an Arab Sheik." "The other one makes you slimmer." "This is more "famiglia"." "You have to live for a while with The Sopranos for this one." "The waistline is thicker." " But it's beautiful." " Yes, it is." "And then there' s pant also?" "The problem with this one is the waistline..." "It doesn't have one?" "Rocco, how do you see dad in those clothes?" "Too fat?" " I don't get it." "Do you like it or not?" " I love it!" "Do you love it or does it make me fat?" "They'll think you're a foreigner." "You're the only one dressed like that." "Thank God I didn't come with the white suit!" "I'm the only one dressed this way!" "I knew mother had two sisters." "And a brother who died, Gautam's father." "But there was another brother, Lakshmee." "Nobody could explain why Mother never mentioned him." "I remembered RD Laing's rules of the family." "But Lakshmee introduced me to Sitaram, an old friend of my mother." "Rumor had it, he was an old flame." "Do you think this is what my mother was trying to get away from?" "Your mother was not interested in this kind of thing." "That's why she didn't want to you about her culture." "The culture in their families was of a restricted for womanhood." "Women were not allowed to see men or talk to men." "Even in their families, they were not allowed to." "You won't believe that you can't talk to your brother's wife." "Living in the same house." "You can't talk to her." "I don't talk to her much." "No, I'm joking." "And the women are supposed to be in purdha." "And they can't come before others and they can't be seen with men." "This was the system." "And so she was taking part in all these Socialist meetings..." "The Socialist meetings were against the system." "She didn't like the system." "She didn't believe in this kind of thing." "So that's why she didn't think it worthwhie want to export her culture to you..." "And now here I am." "You are a fine person..." "and very good looking!" "Another photo, that will end up in someone else's album." "I thought all I had to do was record the encounter with my family." "But everything seems to be happening off camera." "I don't know what to film." "It is difficult to explain what we are doing." "We no longer have a schedule." "I'm sorry to be..." "It may sound rather violent." "I can be rude sometimes." "Yesterday we had to wait an hour and a half before he arrived..." "The team is getting nervous." "Maybe I should've come alone." "I remember you and your father, coming on a holiday... when you were small children." "And then we came to stay with you in London." "That was the next time we saw you." " And I was misbehaving..." " Very bad behavior." "I don't remember anything." "I think we had to use your room," "And you had to move..." "to your brothers room." "I think you were very upset." "You wrote naughty things on the wall such as "fuck of!"" "You remember!" "My god!" "This is embarrassing." "My mother had told me the story of cousin Vidya." "One of few stories she told us about the Indian family" "Maybe it was because Vidya inherited Mother's role as rebel." "I though I could tell her story and her father's, who was a prince." "One day he disappeared." "Vidya and her mother looked for him for years." "Then they quarreled and didn't talk to each other." "Also, for years." "Or the story of Vidya's husbands." "First she married a prince." "And then his brother." "But she doesn't want to talk." "And I don't want to insist." "Families have always fascinated me." "Even though there's nothing harder to tell than a family story" "There's a kind of truth in family you can't find anywhere else." "You can invent or romanticize." "But when it's about the family there really is nowhere to hide." "The first film I made, which I never finished... was a documentary about a friend's family." "I' m supposed to say something" "The truth is... it's hard to tell the truth." "With Ariel, we didn't finish any films." "And that was Mother's fear:" "That I would never do anything." "As if I would repeat what she saw in her own hippie and artist friends." "That's why she wasn't too happy about me wanting to make films." "However, she always made films." "In the last years, Mother started returning to India." "It was returning to the past." "She always went alone." "I'm from Madras, but I live in Ar..., South..., in America." "I was unablet tell the story of Princess Vidya..." "So I decided to film my cousin Gautam, who is a butcher." "In India, a princess is less noteworthy than a butcher." "He's my mainstay!" "Ask him what he thinks of you as a boss." "He'll reply intamil." "He says I'm like a father to him." "He's a very dedicated guy." "Jeffrey, can you switch off this fan?" "Thanks." "Would you like some coffee, Andrés?" "No." "Sai Baba..." "As you can see I consider him as a god, Andrés." "So as a sign of respect we put a buhtu there... as we do for icons of gods like Ganesha or Shiva." "I consider him as God incarnate in human form." "It's not something our family has ever done..." "I don't know..." "If you look at it from the actual processing part..." "The "slaughter", as you call it." "It's quite a..." "I mean, you're taking a life!" "It's not done." "I mean, you don't have the right to do that." "To take another life..." "What the devil are you doing?" "Trying to get the lizard out of this van." "Oh, there it is!" "Can you see the fellow?" "There it is!" " He escaped." " Yes." "Hey, what would Sai Baba say?" "Really, I wouldn't ask his opinion." "I'm sure he'd do this." "Yeah!" "Smoking gun!" "Something incredible happened." "Vidya's husband proposed we shoot an Indian movie in Argentina." "He's a producer." "He told me they're always looking for exotic locations." "I tried to explain I made films of a different kind." "He said it was about time I did something big." "I started to like the idea." "He wanted me to meet Napoleon, the great Bollywood movie star." "Our project could interest him." "They wouldn't let us in until I headed directly for Napoleon." "I said I came from Argentina." "Napoleon cried: "Maradona!"." "And all doors were opened." "Again, please?" "Thank you!" ""Dinosaurs, Fight to the Death!"" "Ready, dad!" "Would you like to make more films?" "Yes." "What films do you want to make?" "Dad, don't you remember the other day I planned..." "We were going to make a movie about aliens..." "Remember?" "How was it?" "First... on a table... we put some toy grass and we film it and we also put up little houses." "And we tie... a string to a plate." "And then we tie it to a piece of wood." "And do like this." "You hold you arm high so it is out of view." "And where did you learn all that?" "On a TV show. "Magic movies"." "Do you know why it's called liked that?" "Because everything's really little and fake." "But it looks real." "Do you get it?" "Mother's last trip was to a Buddhist monastery in the Himalayas." "But she forgot the camera." "So she filmed a book." "She wanted her friends to believe she took those pictures herself." "It feels weird knowing Mother is behind the camera." "Here is the scotch." "This used to be my favorite drink, Andrés." "The best." "I've given up liquor, you know?" "I'm sorry?" "I've given up liquor for the last 12 years." "You haven't touched liquor for 12 years?" "12 years now." "Wow!" "I used to drink a lot, very heavy drinking, before that." "That was at the beginning, when I lost my daughter." "It hit me very badly." "Shook me up, you know?" "The baby died." "No, it's not what you're doing." "It was the baby's karma." "The baby was meant to be born in this world for a short duration." " Is it light enough here, Andrés?" " Oh, yes." "Andrés says he wants to take a film of me having a bath..." "Reality show!" ""Shocking India"." "You think I'm joking!" "Andrés, you can't go on beyond this." "Andrés, I'm warning you!" "You know... this is like a dream." "I haven't slept since I arrived." "This is like a waking dream." "Wake up Andrés!" "Oh, you are awake!" "Can I take a picture?" "They sprinkle rice powder." "Because it's good for the house, for the place." " Every morning?" " Every morning." "They believe if it's there, no evil things will cross." "Then we can go in." "All this was ours." "As far as the eye can see, it belonged to all our families." "All these hills and thousands of acres of land." "Up to our grandfather's time, when they ruled, actually ruled." "And this was the seat of our family, this house." "This belonged to our grandfather" "And it's nearly a hundred years old." "Maybe 96-97 years old." "And it's been in the family given to my father... and I had it." "And I thought you should have it." "Oh, it's too much." "It was our grandfather's." "It's so beautiful, really..." "It's too much." "He was a man with a lot of family attachment." "I think you have that in you..." "Beautiful." "This is the best gift you could ever give me." "It means a lot, a lot." "Thank you." "It means a lot to me." "To see that you get it." "I'm going to give this to you later." " Why?" " Because Gautam gave it to me." "It belonged to our grandfather And then it will be yours." "Your great-grandfather's, Rocco." "You father's mother's father's dress." "The family story that Gautam tells me is like a Hindu fable." "And my mother, the rebel princess." "Gautam told me that out of 14 generations that can be traced... in the family, my mother was the first to marry outside the caste." "Here in Nuzvid, where my mother was born..." "There's a feeling of having reached deep, ancient India." "It's possible no foreigner has ever been here before." "Not even my father." "But I'm not sure I can say I am that first foreigner." "He's peeing." "Our great director!" "Kino, on the other side!" "Oh, it got stuck!" "Mayra, look at this one." "It's a letter she wrote to my father, on a trip to India, from Madrás." "1976." "Dear Torcuato." "I'm here among my family and it's incredible how... they always greet me as if I were part of them." "Here I am with the wonderful affection of my Indian family." "In another part of the world, are my children, whom I miss a lot." "And somewhere else in the world are my ideals are you ideals and my friends." "I cry for what we lost because we lost it in such a stupid way..." "It's a little distressing." "She's trying to fix something which was already broken." "Like when you review things because they can't be fixed." "My parents separated around the time of the last military coup in Argentina." "The grief blends with the climate of fear and death of that time." "On that childhood trip, I remember Mother used to stop on the road..." "To talk with the sadhus," "Sadhus are beggars, but they come from all origins, rich or poor." "One day they give up everything and go walk the roads." "I felt they were scary." "But for Mother they may have been kindred spirits." "So you make a buck on the beach?" "I wear a high hat, like a totem, and shout at the tourists." "Silhouette!" "Silhouette!" "And they come." "At first I was more serious." "And nobody came." "You play the clown and they come." " Do you recognize yourself?" " Very good." "I look a bit fat, though." "Or it is me that's fatter?" " Do you recognize this?" " Who's this?" "Gautam." "No!" "How can it be Gautam?" "What did meeting Rama mean to you in your life?" "Meeting Rama brought about a change." "I was writing a long story about India." "About the 70s, when we came here looking for a guru..." "The hippie exodus." "It was a long story and then this new story came up." "And there was a coincidence." "That's why I embraced this story." "I identified with it." "Both stories coincide." "They complete each other." "It's like the serpent that eats it's own tail." "In Bangalore, we looked for Govinda, Rama's childhood friend." "I had to ask him a question." "Güiraldes and Adelina were involved in Theosophy..." "A strange brew of Hinduism and Spiritism." "Madras was the world centre of Theosophy." "That's Ganesha." "It's made out of paper pulp." "But what had Adelina been up to exactly in India, for so many years?" "This is..." "There is your god here." "Jesus." "Here." "Don't take the negatives out without putting them back." "This is Mamita." "I can't say it's her for sure." "But I can't say that it's not." " Look at this picture!" " I don't think it's her." "Ricardo took the picture." "Ricardo always had a camera." "Cap." "Tonis, Marieta and I." "Oh, so this one is Adelina." "The fat one!" "This can't be Adelina!" "Govinda confirmed my suspicion that Adelina came to India... in search of Ricardo Guiraldes' soul." "Literally." "Instead, and it was somehow the same thing, she found Rama." "Instead, and it was somehow the same thing, she found Rama." "How did she decide to bring you here?" "It wasn't that she decided to bring me here." "She couldn't have children." "She lost several pregnancies." "At the second or third month, she'd lose them." "I was like a son and she was "Mamita"." "But she brought me up like a son." "We were inseparable." "She'd get sick if she didn't see me." "It was a drama." "The first time I could get away from her was one time in Chile." "If she didn't watch me sleep, she couldn't sleep herself." "We were very close." "It was a drama." "And we never ever separated." "What the hell was I going to do here?" "One night in Epuyén, Rama confessed that Adelina used to organize séances." "With Rama on her knees, she "chanelled" the spirits." "She would scribble in her notebook, at first squiggles and then..." "She would start writing messages in somebody else's hand." "I felt my project was also a kind of spiritualist séance... by other means." "Some dreams are more real than life experiences." "And I had two or three of those dreams here." "I dreamed I was dead and I saw my corpse there." "I was glad to be outside the corpse!" "That was the first year I was here." "I said: "it's over"." ""Get back in there!" "Or you are going to reincarnate to end up here?"" "And I plunged back into the corpse!" "There's a little path here, but we can cut across there." "While editing the film in Buenos Aires there came news... totally unexpected, of Rama's death." "I was just about to go to sleep when I got the news." "For a moment, I thought:" "Go to sleep all the same." "You might get a message in your dreams." "I lied down and at that instant tears welled up in my eyes." "I realized I was trying to communicate with the dead." "Last night, photographs with uncle MS." "An old feeling of family and childhood." "Maybe it's the old-fashioned technology of slides." "And this is you." "This must be you." " This is here?" " Yeah." "Keep it still!" "You read it, Gautam." "I received a letter from India and I'm very happy you wrote us." "I also enclose within a sheet of paper with our signatures." "Will you please send me the names and autographs... of as many people in the family" " Did you do that?" " No." "I hope you are well." "Best wishes to all." "Love from Andrés." " Oh, this is your letter!" " My letter." "I will teach you some Spanish." ""Adiós"" "I can't help remembering that it's from this family... that Mother wanted to run away from." "This picture was taken about..." "I don't know... the trip must've been in 68, or 69." "Quite a good picture, don't you think?" "And your trip was, I think, the foundation." "I kept clicking everything in sight." "And in a lot of frames, you were there." "Of course." "His white cousins!" " The heroes!" " White?" "The white cousins, the heroes!" "I think it's incredible you've come." "We are so happy, all of us... that you are here with us." "That you made the great effort of having come." "And that effort of having linked us all together again." "You know, it's incredible." "And the credit goes to you for making that effort." "And I thank God for it." "It's made us..." "Keep..." "Kamala alive." "She's among us now more than ever before." "Through you." "He says:" "The whole concept of this movie was initiated by me." "I'm instrumental in you making this film and coming to India." "So what is it I have to do now?" "He actually presumes that you are going to be staying in India." "No, I have to..." "I know." "Your mother's life was so complex." "It took her a lifetime to understand her background and her culture." "Her association with her motherland." "And to the land where she belonged when she died." "Now God has given you the opportunity..." "Whether you think it's your mother, or God, that has given you... the opportunity to be exposed to all this." "It was too complex for your mother to help you explain this... because it was so complex for herself." "So you think she was there?" "I think so." "Suddenly, a happy memory of my mother." "Once, when I was around seven, the car was out of gasoline." "We went down a slope, engine off, just carried along by inertia." "And that is perhaps the image of what she aspired to." "Her desire to rid herself of the unbearable weight of identity" "Family, nationality." "Blood, race." "Just to think about it is strangely moving." "The little worm wanders around" "On the grass Drawing a little drawing" "It looks just like the little worm." "And the little drawing wanders around" "In the grass worming a little worm" "It's just like the little drawing."