"imdb: 0497990 release:" "Trip to Asia" " Die Suche nach dem Einklang (2008) audio: de, en, other sub: english (only non-english parts) cd: 1/2" "Good luck!" "They said, "Come for an audition in May."" "And I thought to myself, "Okay, why not?"" "I avoided a lot of talking that day," "I just focused on the piece itself." "And I felt incredibly free on stage." "When you come into the hall, it's basically empty except for the instruments." "The musicians sit in front of Block A." "And at first it's as silent as the grave." "Enno, sit down!" "Come on." "Give me my sheet music." "it's cold!" "it's chilly in here!" "Not everyone's here yet." "The second hornist isn't here." "Do I have to play both parts now?" "Are they coming?" "So, it's a reduced ensemble." "Can someone get the other musicians?" "Let's just start then." "Good morning and good evening." "Good morning and welcome to Beijing." "it's cold!" "Here, for example!" "Back then I never thought I would play with the Berlin Philharmonic." "To me, they were gods." "My encounter with the world's musical elite was a revelation, a miracle." "Five levels higher, not just one." "At the very top." "Harmony ..." "I knew most of the repertoire from my previous orchestra, but when I came here it was all different." "In Germany, things were very serious." "It took me some time to realise this." "Maybe I was naive at first, maybe I was too   cool." "My insecurity manifested itself in my speech." "I began to stutter when I was 10 or 11 years old." "Of course it's humiliating if you know the answer but when the teacher asks you you clam up." "You're tongue-tied." "I was the kind of person people would call "odd"." "Someone that no one wanted to hang out with." "I used to think, "Why do they do all these things together yet no one asks me to come along?"" "But the oboe really helped me a lot." "It was my medium, a tool that enabled me to be more social." "My parents often took me to orchestral concerts and actually I often fell asleep." "Orchestral music ..." "I really didn't like it." "But my first time with the local youth orchestra, performing a Brahms symphony, was completely different." "it's a crucial experience for young musicians to play in a youth orchestra where everyone is enthusiastic and saying, "So, now we're all playing the same music."" "It blew me away." "I came back on cloud nine," "I didn't know what was going on." "From that moment on I knew that" "I was living in at least two different worlds." "And then you start to receive recognition and admiration." "And that is a wonderful feeling." "If you're taken on for a trial year, it's an insecure situation." "My first life-saver was the supermarket, the sweets section," "to deal with all the pressures during my trial year." "For the first two years they really needled me," "to see how much I could take, to see if I would make it or not." "I wanted to be one of them, but I had to learn that it wasn't possible then." "it's a big change when someone new joins." "it's like when an adoptive sibling suddenly joins a big family." "Everyone has to move down the table and make room." "There is something that makes us decide, "We'll take this person, but we won't take that one." Or, "He fits in with us, but he does not."" "It is a community with its own style." "it's somehow interconnected, like the earth." "it's been like this for a long time, and it worries me because ... sometimes I feel that I don't really fit in." "It takes time to establish your position there, because there are some big personalities who need and take up a lot of space, and you have to create your own space." "At that moment you're a shadow, and it's hard for everyone to break through it." "Because the group has already formed its own set traditions and a newcomer has to first accept this." "WE are the Berlin Philharmonic." "Conductors come and go, but the Berlin Philharmonic remains." "And it's the task of every musician in this orchestra to carry on this tradition." "Good morning." "A little Adès." "So ... "Ecstasio"." "I was aware that they had a sense of tradition, perhaps more so than other orchestras." "What you inherited from your fathers." "it's not possible without that." "Goodness, no!" "Yes, it's always the first note." "Could we always play together ..." "Now we're getting down to the details." "If you talk too much about tradition and in such a complex way, you no longer know what it is." "And I try to keep it simple." "When they say, "Play it more broadly, we've always played it that way", then I know it's tradition, it becomes tangible for me." "I myself am tradition." "I have played under Karajan." "I can still hear that sound from back then." "And I'm always searching for that sound." "Ugly bass." "This is modern music." "It expresses our times much better than the conventional ... so-called classical contemporaries such as ..." "Henze and the like." "That's outdated." "I find Adès' work, on the other hand, is a message, a symbol of society." "We can't just play Brahms and Beethoven." "But to advance in new directions ..." "it's always been like that ..." "Together here!" "When I saw the Adès score I thought, "Oh, God!" "it's so hard." "And after that we still have to play "Heldenleben"!"" "It really pushed us to our limits." "We risked being pushed over the edge." "It was too much." "That's what I call commitment." "He doesn't understand anything." "Then I'll take that beat." "The larger a crowd is, the more unpredictable and childish it becomes." "An orchestra can be childish, even when its members are Nobel prize winners." "A crowd always needs leadership." "When a society lacks leadership everything falls apart." "You know nothing, achieve nothing, you search in all directions, and certainly there's something to be found, but to find it you have to choose only one direction, the best one." "it's twisted around itself." "Is that bad?" " Yes, exchange it." "Is it okay?" "it's biting itself." "We really fooled around with the passers-by." "We tried to scare as many people as possible." "When you live on an island of contentment, you are not impelled to grow up." "The positive side of this is a playful nature." "And the negative side comes across as being spoiled, whiny, and sensitive." "Shall we go right?" "." "He looks cool!" "What's he doing?" "He's receiving the divine ..." "People need a model, and to develop they need hope." "So the question is, who can offer hope, who can give a sign, so that you pursue this hope and derive strength from it?" "That looks amazing." "If the person standing at the front were weak, it would be a disaster." "Damocles' Sword would be hanging over him, and he'd have a hard time with us." "There have been conductors who wanted to show they're right, to show that they know exactly how things should be done." "They wouldn't last a minute." "Conductors of the Berlin Philharmonic have always been masters of their trade." "Simon Rattle has given the orchestra new energy." "The Philharmonic is also very successful with its new and extended repertoire." "This time, Rattle is taking the 128 musicians to Shanghai." "it's the Berlin Philharmonic's first visit to Shanghai." "Oriental TV will reportedly broadcast the concert live." "Sports: ..." "And then the competitiveness starts, which is very extreme among musicians." "There are continuous auditions." "When I did my audition in Munich there were 120 people who were examined in three days." "It has nothing to do with artistry and feeling, it's just about performance, being goal- oriented, strength of will, recognition, and mainly about your career." "There are more gifted people out there than you could ever count." "But talent without will and determination, without being able or willing to make self-sacrifice, amounts to nothing." "Zero." "I think it is important to go through such moments." "And these moments you survive actually give you strength." "it's like the strengthening of an immune system after getting over an illness." "I noticed that when I played well it pleased my parents." "And my violin teacher, of whom I was very fond, was also happy." "I probably do all this ... to gain affection." "This quest for quality is crucial, and I need music for my soul because it probably brings me love." "If you go straight ahead, you end up in Tibet." "When our orchestra first began the musicians had to defend themselves against the situation in which they found themselves, because they were terribly exploited by someone who took them on the road like a circus and pocketed most of the money." "The musicians didn't put up with it." "They liberated themselves and attempted to form a symphony orchestra." "We choose our boss ourselves." "We are the world's only orchestra that does so." "it's nowhere else like this." "This idea of doing things ourselves, taking control, remains to this day." "And whoever tries to interfere should beware!" "You'd have to witness one of our assemblies to see how 100 orchestra members react if there's something ..." "If there's an attempt made by someone to restrict their rights ..." "That's out of the question." "For me, the main reason why the orchestra sounds the way it does, the underlying basis, is that every musician knows that he can contribute to determining the direction the ship takes." "This chair is really loud." "How should we do it then?" " The chairs are clearly too small." "Damned chair!" "A sound emerges out of the friction between very different personalities from an immeasurably narrow space." "I think it's vital that everyone retains their own personality ... and uses it too." "For us, the deciding factor is music as an interaction and not simply as a reproduction of a perfectly rehearsed piece." "And then you can sense whether someone is a rough person, or less sensitive, or whether they're ready to dedicate themselves completely." "And if you are able to co-operate like that, it is wonderful." "And even if someone can play Paganini up and down, if he can't co-operate, it's not enough." "He has to go." "After "Igor", it seems a bit ..." "Wonderful E minor." "Could you play a bit ..." "Wounded and not too healthy, not too normal." "And perhaps this is my mistake ..." "I always hear ... at the end." "Four bars before "Igor"." "Four bars before "Igor"." "If you imagine playing in a group of 16 other violins, and you have to make sure that you don't stick out ..." "It is a very tough psychological problem." "My husband says, "Why do you make such an effort?" "No one hears you anyway."" "Those words would probably kill some of the others, who are so proud." "We had musicians in the orchestra who were real soloists and were never happy to have to play tutti." "it's a tall order being a soloist, because ultimately you always have to be the initiator." "You simply need strong nerves and self-confidence, like at school when you're told, "You!" "Stand up, show us what you can do."" ""Rise above the others."" "You can't do this job if you only act as a servant to the whole." "You must also express something personal." "And he may also demand to be pampered a little bit." "It also leads to one opting out of normal social interaction." "People often say that musicians are egocentric." "What else can we be?" "We've worked our entire lives on ourselves, with ourselves." "How could one not be egocentric?" "We are the centre of our universe, sure." "I think that if you"re strong you need less recognition than people who are weaker, as I am, perhaps." "I need the recognition," "I need it a lot and often." "If you think you are something special, that doesn't count at all." "We cannot be vain, for we are not creative artists." "We are "reproduction" artists, but we're not always prepared to admit it." "imdb: 0497990 release:" "Trip to Asia" " Die Suche nach dem Einklang (2008) audio: de, en, other sub: english (only non-english parts) cd: 2/2" "The first few days ..." "At the beginning of a tour it's really great ..." "But then you hit a low, and it can be depressing, you wonder: "What am I doing here?"" "The longer a tour lasts, the more draining it becomes." "Being dragged around, having to function at the drop of a hat ..." "I can't choose when I have to be with them, when I don't have to be with them, or when I just want to be left in peace." "Sometimes you can't escape the community." "And that's limiting." "By being uprooted, such journeys make you realise who you really are." "Marco, it looks like I'm not on there." "No, you're not." "I'll call Andrea." "it's Marco here." "Jelka has no room." "Did you book a room for her?" "I don't want to move again." " She doesn't want to move." "I am always tense ... due to my life with the Philharmonic, and my family." "You'd think I'm very artistic, but I have the feeling I can't allow myself that luxury." "I don't know if that's the price you pay, or if the others feel the same." "Even when I go for a walk or pick up the kid," "I consciously go on foot to have some time for myself." "And even then my brain whirrs ..." "And then it's, "Mum, will you pick me up from kindergarten?"" "And at first my heart skips a beat." "And then as a mother you have to find a way to stop, even if you look at the skyline and think, "I don't want to be here at all."" "And when there's an evening rehearsal it can be difficult to really get warmed up enough to be in good form." "Just two before R." "Two before R." "Directly." "Karajan was right when he said that the so-called weakest one at the back desk determines the standard and the quality." "My group has criticised my playing on a technical and musical level." "And they also said that it is nothing against me personally." "But I don't really know if that's true." "it's tough." "You think, "I practiced, and it's still not tight." "Do I play with the one in front or behind?"" "Everyone is watching, and you think that every wrong note you play is a death sentence." "it's like a huge mirror, and you can see a tiny little smudge ... here and there." "And you don't see the full image." "I don't know." "Or you live in fear of the silence of the other musicians." "Of course it would be rash to praise or criticise too much." "They remain completely neutral." "The more you rehearse, the more critical you become." "I envy craftsmen who can simply ... build things and afterwards stand and look at a finished piece and know what their work has gone into." "That's the prerequisite to getting there at all." "If you're not able to be self-critical to the point of self-destruction, you have to develop that ability." "A bit more." "First bar." "it's like psychotherapy or analysis over many years where you see things you maybe don't want to see." "During every rehearsal and every concert you have to prove yourself." "it's a shame, really." "it's too much pressure for me." "I wonder if it's all intact." "Well, my suit survived." "Look at my new cycling shoes, Christoph." "I really need to play elsewhere, as a soloist, to be challenged in a different way." "To receive my own recognition, not just as a group." "That's important." "it's easier if the chain isn't on the front sprocket." "But it is on the back one." " Still, it's easier if you do ..." "We mustn't dirty the carpet." "I hope I've got everything." "I'm curious now." " it's really hot!" "It will be interesting today." "A little adventure." "After doing your ..." ""orchestral duties", so to speak, you have to find yourself again." "When you immerse yourself in the music, as some of us can, you need to be able to do the same in other fields." "I believe that in Hong Kong there are 500 species of butterflies." "In Germany we have 140." "Many people are dissatisfied with normality, be it a normal hobby, a normal way of leading their life ..." "I just think it shouldn't be normal." "I only slept 3 hours a night during the first week." "it's amazing I can still stand, or even do sports." "But somehow it is possible." "When you do something no one's ever done before, when all the others think," ""They must be nuts", then it's really fun." "it's cool when you arrive somewhere and the others think, "They're loopy."" "When only five of you play, you can hear more, it's more open, it's quasi-soloistic." "it's a totally different way of playing." "Ah, there they are." "Do they have cars like that?" " I don't know." "Cello second!" "Cello second." " You leave first." "Where is my bow?" "My bow is still in there." "Has anyone got my bow?" "Ah, that's a nymphalid!" "If everyone had more awareness of species diversity ..." "There are thousands of types in blue, yellow, and brown, all with different survival needs, sometimes even very complex needs" "in terms of symbiosis with other animals." "And it's really great to finally be in a situation where you can just let go." "it's sometimes a bit sad too, because we're missing a chance to learn about our world, and it's gone before we do learn about it. it's a real shame." "When I come back to the orchestra I'm so relaxed and happy, and I'm thrilled to be able to play with these people, to be in this plenum again." "And I'm far calmer." "The other musicians notice that." "You can enjoy playing as a group right down the last drop." "it's fantastic." "But only if you function as an individual at the same time." "A person who has something to offer has an influence on others." "And the others, without realising it, join in." "Then we all pull together, regardless of what happened before." "Then there's an energy on stage that connects us all." "The great thing about him is that he's a musician who joins in." "You can see it in his gestures, his expression." "it's a very intuitive thing with him." "The conducting gestures are broader, it grows and becomes clearer where it's headed." "Then it slows down briefly, and then you let fly." "They are such multi-faceted emotional states, you couldn't experience them alone." "When I started I often heard it said that it gets harder every year." "A 65-year-old pensioner might say, "I've had stage-fright for only 3 years." "And back then I thought that after having played a piece 120 times, I would know it by heart." "But I've noticed, though I'm not that old, that it's not getting easier." "There's the arrow." "I just wanted to go to the loo, and I got lost." "You can almost smell the instrument cases." "I asked Enno and he said that it's this way." "Ah, there you are!" "The task you take on is to master your instrument over decades." "You have to perhaps ..." "concentrate even more than you did in the past." "As you get older, I don't know if your concentration decreases, or if your technique deteriorates ... it's pure hell when you can't master a task, when it all becomes too much for you." "That can be age-related or a personal crisis or whatever." "Or perhaps you resort to something like tranquilisers or beer." "In my case it was beer." "My first teacher advised me to simply drink a beer." "So you drink two beers and it works, so you carry on doing it." "And it worked well for decades ..." "I mean, I never woke up under a bridge." "I had a normal life, except that" "I was not very happy with myself over the last few years." "If you're afraid and you can't deliver a good performance, it's pure hell." "This immense pressure, this fear of failure, can be so paralysing that you completely mess things up." "Why?" "Sure, it's nice that these days we think more holistically and that one has more understanding for other people." ""He's playing that way because at home the table is busted." Or, "His child's unwell, that's why he's playing poorly." That's a good development." "However, it remains our task that at any given hour or moment we forget everything and give our all." "But maybe that's inhuman." "I myself don't really know." "Hi!" "Time to go?" "Butterflies in your stomach are always there." "I, for example, don't get cold hands as a reaction, but there is tension elsewhere." "But everyone gets it." "In my body, in myself," "I always have a struggle going on." "But you mustn't let others notice it." "Those two thousand pairs of eyes watching you automatically make you think ..." ""Now I have to go on stage and it has to be good."" "The excitement, the stage-fright, descends on you from without." "Yes, I can also show that I can perhaps play it." "So I always do image training." "The mere fact that 100 people, 100 people with hearts, circulation, respiration ... all swing exactly on the same beat." "To be one element in that process ... is an indescribable experience." "Everyone and everything connects, every chord and sensation." "And the intensity within you produces a wave of pleasure that you can feel in your body." "Dear God, let me die now." "I'm happier than at any other time in my life." "To be one with the cosmos." "If you've experienced that a few times in your life, and have had the honour of being part of it, you've already gained a lot." "3 - 2 - 1:" "Welcome to Taiwan!" "We love you!" "it's so unfamiliar for a classical musician, it's hard to grasp." "To experience that is kind of orgiastic." "Thank you!" "What we encounter, this ... it's not love, but ... a yearning for communication, for closeness ..." "They've come for this, they are all ears for this kind of music." "That's what counts, that even today people are ready to come and listen." "Perhaps I'm suppressing it, but I know that this is my last great journey." "Nonetheless, it doesn't feel like it." "Conversely, you think about it unconsciously, and it makes you sad, sure." "I try to suppress it somewhat, because I still get great pleasure from playing music." "You are born, you grow, you live and you develop." "Then suddenly you are old and you fade away." "That's the way things are, it's part of every person's life." "And look at the life he's had." "All those wonderful experiences with Karajan, Abbado, and Rattle over almost half a century!" "When I consider that in six months I have to pack my things and leave, in a certain sense it is like dying." "A very significant part of you will no longer be there." "But there is much more gratitude mixed in with that." "This architecture is colossal, but in its dimensions it is very human." "If I were to ask you to tell me where this building starts and where it ends, you couldn't." "There is no start and no end." "And there's a mystery to that." "The idea of a beginning and an end is related to our way of life." "With us, it's clear that people are afraid of the end." "And when you are able to see that everything has its own time, it's a wonderful thing." "If I now look back on the past twenty years," "I think that with the consciousness I have now I wouldn't have made it." "It would have destroyed me, psychologically speaking." "It is one of life's lessons to discover this middle way." "To allow yourself to have a good time, to avoid making life hard all the time, being able to enjoy life without allowing the standards that are required to slip." "I don't know if it always helps in life to know how things work, or to be smart, or to always have an overview over everything." "Sometimes it's better not to see, but to achieve, with all your passion, the thing you have set yourself as a goal." "And everything else takes second place." "Absolute tranquillity." "No collisions." "The special thing about this place is that everything simply flows together." "it's as if everything were in flux and reduced to a single form of energy." "Just one form of energy, and nothing else exists except life itself." "Like a kind of medicine for the illnesses of human existence." "My gut feeling about the vote is ..." "To be honest, I'm trying not to think about it very much." "I'm trying to be as normal and honest as possible." "I believe that I've given everything I have to give." "And then ... whatever happens will happen." "I think that the trial period, in a certain sense ..." "Assuming it were to continue, it will continue." "After the tour the orchestra elected MICHA AFKHAM, MARTIN VON DER NAHMER and RAPHAEL HAEGER with the necessary two-thirds majority." "They are now lifelong members of the community of the Berliner Philharmoniker." "VIRGINIE REIBEL failed to survive the trial period and left the orchestra."