"Excuse me." "Uh, where is Walter Schmidt's room, please?" "Shirley." "What happened?" "He's okay." "He broke a few ribs." "He's resting right now." "–What happened?" "He took a turn this week." "He doesn't recognize any of us at the nursing home anymore." "He's been getting agitated, always seems to be terrified." "How did he get hurt?" "He, uh, jumped out of his bedroom window." "A hedge broke his fall and probably saved his life." "He jumped out the window?" "His dementia." "I've gotta get back there." "He's not doing so well." "I'll join you." "Oh, thanks." "I'll be fine." "Well, maybe he'll recognize me." "I always had a great relationship with your father." "We'd hunt, we'd fish." "Remember the time I shot him in the calf?" "Oh, you're lucky he doesn't remember." "I'd really rather go alone." "–I'd like to see him." "I was always very fond of your father." "–Really?" "And he always liked me." "Yes, he did." "Okay then, let's go." "Jerry, what's wrong?" "–I'm in trouble." "–What sort of trouble?" "–Oh, I can't tell you." "–Why can't you tell me?" "–You're a girl!" "–It's man trouble?" "Did you get a woman pregnant?" "Dear God." "It isn't that." "Well, stop whinging and just tell me." "Well..." "During the strike, I fell in love." "–What strike?" "–It doesn't matter." "The point is, I met somebody wonderful." "Fab." "And?" "And she's suing me for sexual assault." "Sexual assault?" "Stop squealing." "You sound like a stuck pig." "What happened?" "Did you touch her without her consent?" "No, I would never!" "She's claiming I—" "She's saying..." "I drugged her." "Jerry..." "Did you?" "Well..." "Maybe a little." "Boston Legal 4×16 The Mighty Rogues original sub: uncredited fixes,resync,QA:" "ΤΖΩΤΖΙΟΥ" "I'm hoping to make it to the island on memorial day, if I can dig myself out of here." "That'd be great." "We've missed you." "Aw." "Please." "So..." "What can I do for you?" "Well, take a breath, have a seat, Carl." "All right." "'Cause this is a biggie." "Mm." "Let me have it." "We want to build an atomic bomb." "What are you talking about?" "We want to build a weapon of mass destruction that we control." "–By "we," you mean— –Nantucket." "I'm here officially as head of the board of selectmen, and Liz is here as mayor." "We're a very small island, totally exposed." "The homeowners are becoming increasingly concerned about security, and well... we're rich, we can afford it, we want one." "An atomic bomb... on Nantucket?" "We've been denied approval to purchase plutonium by the nuclear regulatory commission." "Don't you hate that?" "We'd like to sue." "What kind of drugs are we taking on the island these days?" "–Carl, I know it sounds crazy." "–You think?" "But if something ever happens, which the government says is inevitable, by the way, who's going to come rushing to protect us, the vineyard?" "No, no." "We need to look out for ourselves." "And fortunately, we have the wealth and the means to do so." "You'd like... an atomic bomb." "As soon as possible." "–Oxytocin?" "–It's a hormone, not a drug." "What does it do?" "Well, essentially, it causes people... to trust you." "There's a hormone that causes people to trust you?" "I mainly used it for me." "It can also help people with social anxieties." "It enabled me to trust her as well." "I'd... spray it on like cologne." "It has a nice, gentle fragrance, not too bold." "Anyway..." "Dana..." "That's her name..." "She found out, and she's suing me." "You're disappointed in me." "Well, I am, Jerry, truth be told." "Dad?" "Hey, dad." "Who are you?" "Dad, it's— it's me." "It's— it's Shirley." "You remember Denny?" "Denny came to say hi." "Hi, Walt." "How are those, uh, ribs healing?" "Lookin' good, Walt." "He doesn't like to be touched." "Where's the attending?" "I'll call for him." "A nuclear bomb on Nantucket?" "–Are they insane?" "–Poor people are insane, Whitney." "Rich people are colorful." "Yes, well, assuming the colorful people are sincere, how can you be about to actually take the case?" "Well, first, their security concerns are legitimate." "Second, nuclear bombs are becoming more and more viable, easier to build." "The world landscape one day will be dotted with them." "Why not Nantucket?" "And third —most importantly— when an island full of millionaires asks us to represent them," "Lorraine, we do not refer them to another firm." "I need you three to arm me with research and legal analysis as to why Nantucket should have a bomb." "Hello." "I'm Dr Bromfield." "Shirley Schmidt." "Nice to meet you, though not under these circumstances." "Uh, this is Denny Crane." "Hello." "I wish I could tell you something positive." "I'm afraid the best we can do is try and keep him calm." "I don't dare move him." "I'm concerned that he'll reinjure his ribs." "I would like to hook him up to a morphine drip, please." "His injuries are causing him considerable pain." "I'd like this done as soon as possible." "I, um..." "He— he seems to be comfortable now." "He's not." "I know him better than you." "I'd like the drip, please." "Ms Schmidt..." "I can't do what you're asking me to do." "I'm asking you to manage his pain, doctor." "I'm very sorry." "I don't think a morphine drip is indicated here." "Ned Thiel..." "Is he still chief of staff here?" "–He is." "–Get him." "Look..." "I know what you're asking for, and I sympathize." "My own father died of alzheimer's— you know this, Denny— But we have laws." "This goes on all the time." "You know that." "Well, it happens sometimes with, as I said, patients in severe physical pain." "But look at him." "How do we couch this as pain management?" "You simply believe me when I tell you that he is hurting." "Come on, Ned." "We're not asking for anything that doesn't happen in every hospital every day." "I can't." "But if you get a court order forcing our hand," "I suppose we'll have no choice but to abide." "I'll argue it myself." "Let's go." "Thank you, doctor." "Uh..." "Denny?" "I..." "I think I would like Alan to argue this." "It's— it's going to be tough, getting the judge off this dime, and..." "I think this is sort of Alan's wheelhouse." "Okay." "I guess that makes sense." "Let's go get Alan." "An atomic bomb..." "In Nantucket?" "Are you kidding me?" "–No, I'm not, your honor." "Nor is our president kidding when he constantly tells us to be afraid." "Nantucket is riddled with republicans, by the way." "They believe our commander in chief when he cries wolf." "They believe John McCain as he cries double wolf." "Some even believe Cheney when he says" ""the bomb's already been fired at us, it's just on a timer." –The court dismisses—" "Your honor, as ridiculous as this may seem on its face, let's consider, your honor," "Nantucket is all by itself out there." "It wouldn't be a high priority to defend should this country be under attack." "Shouldn't they be allowed to defend themselves?" "I would ask you at least listen to my client before quashing our request." "I'll give your client 15 minutes." "3:00." "What are you looking at?" "I don't mean to sound indelicate, but how far gone is he?" "–Very." "He's been virtually uncommunicative for a while, but... now he..." "doesn't recognize anyone, including me." "This man who was once bigger than life, a maverick..." "It's obscene." "Did he execute a living will?" "He did." "No extraordinary lifesaving measures, but..." "We'll be asking a court's permission to put him to sleep." "Yes." "The proceeding will be rough, Shirley." "Let's try to get this done." "She's coming by herself or—" "No, with a lawyer." "Let's not let this turn emotional, jerry." "I'd prefer to be straightforward and proffer strictly a legal analysis. –Okay." "Purring, hopping, squealing should all be kept to a minimum." "Oh, there she is." "Jerry." "Hello." "Hello." "Welcome." "Hello." "Hi, I'm Pepper Minkin," "Ms Dana Strickland's attorney." "Katie Lloyd." "Pleasure." "Hello." "Hello." "Well, why don't we go in?" "Would either of you like coffee?" "I'm fine, thanks." "I'm good." "Coffee makes the ticker race." "–Jerry, she's positively stunning." "–I know." "How much oxytocin did you use?" "I didn't mean it like that." "–Yes, you did." "The island of Nantucket is going to court today to actually seek legal permission to build an atomic bomb as part of its defense system." "Nantucket, of course being one of the richest towns in America— back in court at 3:00 today." "Nobody, of course, expects this request to be granted, but stranger things have happened." "Did I mention this case might get a little press?" "–Carl, I'm begging you, let me in on this. –Uh, well, denn as you can see, we're already a little thick with lawyers." "All my life, I'd hoped that somehow, someday," "I'd be called upon to help build a nuclear bomb." "Could there be anything more american than to be part of blowing up another country?" "I got chills." "Denny can take my place." "With all due respect, I don't want to be part of this." "I think this case is reprehensible." "I'm sure Texas would love to have its own bomb." "Maybe Alabama, too." "Have you given any thought..." "What if we should win this case?" "We won't." "And that makes it okay?" "Take a despicable cause for a pile of money because you know you won't win?" "What a girl." "No wonder he wears dresses." "I'm not doing this case." "Girl." "I'm in." "He doesn't want to live like this." "His mind is rotting away, much of it's already gone." "His organs are shutting down, he's incontinent." "The indignity is beyond words." "When you father was competent, did you two ever discuss..." "We did." "He signed a living will." "He did not want to be kept alive by extraordinary means." "But we're not talking about keeping him alive with any extraordinary means." "You're here asking for permission to euthanize him." "My father is in extreme discomfort." "I am asking to manage his pain with morphine." "Yes, you have to couch it in those terms to get the court order, but, Ms Schmidt, you're not denying what this is really about, are you?" "–Are you denying this happens all the time under the heading of "pain management"?" "When there is actual pain to manage... but here, your father" "isn't in any real physical discomfiture." "He's probably not even aware of his mental state." "The pain we're talking about managing here is yours." "First of all, my father suffered some broken ribs." "He is in pain." "Second, the agitation he experiences— the fear, the anxiety— are an extreme form of discomfiture, Mr Hollis." "Please do not suggest to me that he does not anguish." "The fact of the matter is, we can manage his pain quite effectively without morphine." "And we are... with codeine." "The other fact..." "Is what, sir?" "Well, the pain we're talking about is from injuries that will heal." "In cases where morphine drips have been turned up with fatal results, it's irreversible pain, which," "I certainly sympathize with the family's position." "If it were my father," "I would probably want to do the same thing." "But the law simply doesn't allow it." "I read an article that said people in comas can actually experience physical pain." "Is that true?" "–Yes." "Do you think it's possible that a conscious person could be experiencing pain, but because of his advanced mental deterioration, that he be incapable of communicating that pain?" "I suppose it's possible." "So if a doctor, say, wanted to make such a finding, let's say the patient was his own father, say, he might be able to find the pain, prescribe the morphine, and nobody could state to a reasonable medical certainty" "that he was wrong." "I'd like to think that my medical ethics would prevent me from doing that." "I see." "So in your opinion, the medically ethical thing to do here is let this person's brain continue to rot until all his vital organs shut down, he shrinks to 85 pounds, his esophagus closes up so he can no longer eat," "and he begins to suffer grand mal seizures?" "These are the ethics you bring to this courtroom today." "It's a sad day indeed when the science of love is chemically manipulated." "Men ply women with a little wine on occasions." "Women have been known to throw on intoxicating perfumes." "My client spritzed himself with a little cologne." "Laced with a hormone, Ms Lloyd, one naturally released in the body during orgasm." "It influences one's ability to bond." "Doctors call it the nesting hormone." "It's a far cry from perfume." "But as I understand my client, he used it as much to relax himself— –That doesn't make it right." "Jerry never meant to victimize her." "–May I respond?" "–Certainly." "I regarded you as profoundly honest, and to discover that you were deceitful in the most personal of ways..." "It's not simply that I don't trust you any longer, jerry." "How am I supposed to trust myself... to bond with anybody?" "Mr Engels, how are you employed?" "Uh, I was hired as a physicist by the town of Nantucket." "Hired for what?" "Uh, to design an atomic bomb for them." "–And are you capable of doing that?" "–Quite." "Could you describe, generally, how one makes them?" "Uh, yes." "Uh, well, you have your fissionable material, say plutonium, in the middle, encapsulated in a metallic sphere lined with beryllium, which promotes the fission process." "Uh, outside that are shaped charges of dynamite." "Now when the dynamite explodes, the plutonium is compressed." "It reaches critical mass, it fissions, and boom!" "Sorry." "I..." "Always get a kick out of... doing that." "Um, I guess the question is, uh, what's to stop anybody from having a bomb if it's this simple?" "Uh, well, money." "The real difficulty is in obtaing the fissionable material, say plutonium or enriched uranium." "But once you have that, the rest is easy." "–And this bomb would actually be viable?" "–Oh, yeah." "Yes." "Um, you see, the thing about the nuclear bomb, your honor, is that it doesn't have to be made perfect." "Um, the one they dropped on Hiroshima had 60 kilos of enriched uranium in it, and only about 1% of that actually fissioned." "–So over 90% of that bomb was a dud?" "Yes." "But I mean, as far as duds go— boom!" "Sorry." "♫ boom boom goes London" "♫ and boom Paris boom" "♫ more room for you and more room for me ooh" "♫ and every city" "♫ the whole world round" "♫ will just be another" "♫ american town" "♫ oh, they all hate us anyhow" "♫ they all hate us anyhow how" "♫ so let's drop the big one" "♫ now ♫" "–So, Bill, what's going on?" "–What do you mean?" "What I mean is, this is a ridiculous case." "I've never known you to be a ridiculous man." "So why don't you tell me what you're up to?" "Do you realize what a target Nantucket is?" "When you think of the iconic staples of America that the world so hates— rich people, Wall street gluttons, evil politicians, hollywood producers— they all have homes on Nantucket." "It's one-stop shopping." "Bill... what are you up to?" "Look, I know this lawsuit is absurd." "Now we can't possibly win it." "–But?" "But we have a presidential election coming up, and all we hear about is the war, the economy, the mortgage crisis, the recession." "Nuclear proliferation has been pushed right off the table." "None of the candidates are talking about it." "–Nuclear proliferation." "Do you realize Bush tore up the arms treaty?" "We offered to sell nuclear technology to civilians in India— civilians, for God sakes—" "And nobody's even discussing this." "–So this lawsuit..." "It's a way to put the topic back on the table." "It's not just terrorists we need to fear, Carl." "It's countries, too." "So, yeah, you go get 'em, counselor." "You go get me my bomb." "Hey." "Hey." "So... how was your day?" "Oh..." "Same old—" "Went to court, trying to kill my father." "You?" "Trying to get Nantucket a bomb." "Oh, are we stuck in a rut?" "Is there anything I can do?" "It's funny, you turn on TV and see... advertisement after advertisement about how to have a better life." "Why can't we help people to have a better death?" "Shirley, you and I know the only thing more powerful than the religious right or, well, God in this country:" "the pharmaceutical companies." "The best chance at physician-assisted suicide is for some big drug company to invent the euthanasia pill." "They'll lobby Congress." "Done deal." "I miss you." "I miss you, too." "Should we get back together?" "At least until, you know, dad's dead." "I could help you through the rough times." "I don't know any man who is more adorable with his cynicism." "Anything you need, I'm here." "Thank you, Carl." "I think for now what I need is just to sit here alone." "You just flat-out refused to work on the case?" "Yes." "–And he didn't fire you?" "–He likes me." "Whenever I'm around him, I slap on a little oxytocin, and he's like putty." "–Oh, very funny." "Slap on a dress while you're at it, sing him a song, poop-head⁈ –Jerry." "Oh, what⁈ Sorry." "Listen, I've read up on the science of this hormone." "While there's no evidence it can make one fall in love, it evidently can facilitate bonding." "Some therapists actually prescribe it for relationship maintenance." "Bottom line— she very much does have a case, I'm sorry to say." "If this case is to go away," "I think you'll have to accomplish it." "You need to talk directly to her and hope she's persuaded." "Okay." "I'll..." "–I've set up another meeting for 3:00." "Be candid, speak from the heart, humbly, do not snivel, and no matter what happens, you must refrain from calling her a poop-head." "Can you manage that?" "This is not a new debate, but the fact that we still continue to have the debate in this country baffles me." "People are helped to die every single day in virtually every hospital, in hospices, at home, all under the "wink wink" of pain management." "And yet every time someone suggests bringing this practice out of the closet, opponents leap up, screaming there's potential for abuse, we'll end up killing people who want to live." "Come on." "If there's potential for abuse, then by all means, let's regulate it." "Have an administrative hearing or go to court like we're doing now, but there's much more potential for abuse when we do it secretly." "–No, no, no." "Now there's a good reason for the secrecy." "The last thing we want to do is to cultivate a culture of suicide." "Almost 20% of today's teenagers contemplate taking their own lives at one time or another." "A recent 5-year analysis showed a 20% rise in suicides among middle-aged people." "It's becoming epidemic." "Not the time to lift the stigma." "–We would not be sending the message that— –Oh, yes, we would, Mr Shore." "You make it permissible, that's one step closer to making it acceptable." "And the real danger is that elderly parents start thinking it's maybe their duty to spare their children so they won't drain their finances." "–This would not be that case." "–It could be tomorrow's case." "–Which is why we take it on a case by case basis, addressing all the concerns you raised." "But why must we have an absolute blanket ban when it causes such immeasurable suffering for so many?" "Because it's not potential for abuse that's really in play, counsel." "Let's all admit that." "It's politics." "And the legislature gets to make the laws, not the judges." "But it's for the judges to safeguard the constitution." "Included therein is our fundamental right to privacy." "Can there be anything more private, more personal than the destiny of one's own body, one's life?" "It's also for the judges to step in and be humane when a gutless, politically expedient congress refuses to do so." "My God, we put dogs to sleep to spare their needless suffering." "Why don't we extend the same compassion to human beings?" "This man is terminal." "He will die." "He fears people, all people." "He can't control his bowels." "He has an utter lack of cognizance and an inability to have any meaningful exchange, or even contact." "Would you choose to live like that?" "Would anybody?" "To allow assisted suicide is to say that life itself has no intrinsic value, no sanctity." "Oh, baloney." "I'm saying Walter Schmidt's life, in its current state, has no intrinsic value." "He lies in his bed with no apparent capacity to discern or think." "His days have devolved into a horrible cycle of soiling his bedsheets and screaming incoherently at the very touch of the nurse who cleans him." "His life is a misery." "I'm sorry." "There is no sanctity in that." "I don't care what..." "I'm sorry." "My, uh, best friend has Alzheimer's, in the very early stages." "It hasn't..." "He is a..." "grand lover of life, and will be for some time." "I believe even when his mind starts to really go, he'll still fish and he'll laugh and love." "And as it progresses, he'll still want to live because there'll be value for him, in a friendship, in a cigar, in..." "Truth is, I don't think he'll ever come to me and say," ""this is the day I want to die."" "But the day is coming, and he won't know it." "This is perhaps the..." "The most insidious thing about Alzheimer's..." "But you see... he trusts me to know when that day has arrived." "He trusts me... to safeguard his dignity, his legacy, and self-respect." "He trusts me to prevent his end from becoming a mindless piece of mush." "And I will." "It will be an unbearably painful... thing for me." "But I will do it because I love him." "I will end his suffering because it's the only decent, humane and loving thing a person can do." "Ms Schmidt is here today because she loves her father." "She's asking you to show mercy that the law refuses to." "She is asking you to play god." "Your honor, whatever one's belief in god," "I know we can all agree, some lives are taken far too early, and others... far too late." "I really don't like playing god." "I do believe in God, by the way." "I believe there's a sanctity to every human life." "The idea that doctors and relatives get to start weighing the quality of a given life to decide who shall live, who shall die," "it horrifies me." "And I see tremendous potential for abuse." "But there is no suggestion of such abuse here." "Mr Schmidt is terminal." "His condition is irreversible." "He is suffering." "The law allows patients to refuse medical treatment even when to do so means death." "It allows the disconnection of nutrition and hydration tubes, thereby basically starving the person to death." "What rational distinction can there be for not allowing a more humane method?" "Plaintiff's motion is granted." "Ms Schmidt, my prayers are with you." "Adjourned." "First, let me say," "I have thought deeply about my actions, for which, I conclude, I have no excuse." "Accordingly, I will not seek to proffer any." "However..." "The thing about love, sweetheart, is, come on, we all throw up fronts and—" "The thing about love is, people often try to remake themselves in their lover's eyes, especially in new relationships." "We want to present the most flattering version of ourselves." "We want to seem smarter, funnier." "We... pretend to be something we're not." "I..." "I wanted you to think I was... more confident than I am." "I wanted you to feel safer with me than women typically feel." "I wanted to have an edge, which..." "clearly, I do not enjoy." "You are a beautiful woman." "I am an odd man who stutters, purrs, coos, squeaks... with all the self-confidence of a mayfly." "But like it or not, babe, this is what you get, and—" "All of this is to say..." "I did a remarkably stupid, unforgivable thing... because I have fallen in love with you, and I am desperate for you to fall in love with me." "Your honor, we're trying to build a world where we have fewer weapons as opposed to more. –Oh, that's simply not true." "Bush tore up the arms control treaties. –I am not gonna get into a foreign policy debate." "Suffice it to say that nuclear bombs belong in the hands of stable, sovereign, res— –Stable?" "Iran may have a bomb, for god sakes." "North Korea has one." "It is the United States government's job to protect us, not some tony resort island." "Our federal government is broken." "We have illegal aliens streaming across the border." "Our military is bogged down in Iraq, maybe for a hundred years if the supreme court gets to pick our president again." "The national guard is depleted." "We can't protect a levee in New Orleans against a hurricane." "And come on, everybody has a bomb—" "France, China, Russia... (Israel...) maybe Iran, with that whack job "i'm in a dinner jacket."" "Why not Nantucket?" "They're far more reasonable, more stable." "And hey, how about this?" "They're on our side." "Why can't they have a bomb?" "Okay, I've heard enough." "Mr Sack, you can't expect me to grant your request here." "Sure I can." "Watch." "I had my clerk do a little research." "It wasn't pretty." "You're right." "Our current president tore up the arms control treaties." "A lot of countries seem to be getting the bomb now." "And you left out Pakistan, which is perhaps the scariest of all." "They might be on our side today, but it's not a stretch to see islamic extremists taking over there, and then what?" "Their nuclear arsenal is massive." "This in the country where Bin Laden may be hiding." "And we're supposed to feel safe with whatever rogue government is in place?" "My God." "I don't have the answer." "But in my gut, I simply cannot believe it lies in giving an atomic bomb to Nantucket." "Plaintiff's motion is denied." "We're adjourned." "♫ First we got the bomb and that was good" "♫ 'cause we love peace and motherhood" "♫ then Russia got the bomb, but that's okay" "♫ 'cause the balance of power's maintained that way" "♫ who's next?" "♫ who?" "♫ Oh, France got the bomb, but don't you grieve" "♫ 'cause they're on our side, I believe" "♫ China got the bomb, but have no fears" "♫ they can't wipe us out for at least five years..." "Oh." "Hello." "Welcome." "Hello." "I got your message." "I'm here." "Dana, I..." "I don't know how else to convey how sorry I am— –Jerry..." "I'm sorry as well." "As hurt and as betrayed as I felt..." "Suing you?" "That was wrong." "I believe you are the man I thought you were." "Just..." "Well, maybe a little more vulnerable than I realized." "Is there..." "Do we have a chance of getting back?" "I... would like that, actually." "I'd really like that." "How's he doing?" "We started the drip three hours ago." "His breath has slowed almost to..." "He was quite a man." "Strong, freewheeling..." "A lawyer's lawyer." "And a daughter's father." "I've known this day was coming for some time." "I..." "I even prayed for it, knowing it would be a blessing, but..." "No matter..." "I don't..." "I don't think anyone's ever prepared for a parent to die," "no matter what you think." "Yes." "Alan, thank you." "With all your nonsense, I..." "I fully expect to have to fire you one day." "I just want you to know, when that day comes, it'll be harder for me." "Yep." "Where is she now?" "Carl's with her." "I saw my future, Alan, when I went to see him." "I saw what lies ahead for me." "That's not what lies ahead for you." "Like the doctor said, you smoke, you drink, you play with loaded firearms." "You'll go before the mad cow can get you." "I was in the courtroom today." "I heard your closing." "When the day comes... if it comes..." "We should go to Oregon, where it's legal." "They got some great steelhead runs in Oregon." "We could fish the mighty rogue." "It's only fitting." "I mean, I am the mighty rogue when you think about it." "Yes, you are." "What a way to check out—" "A scotch in one hand, a steelhead in the other." "And in your hands... would be me." "If I could make that deal with God, i'd do so right now." "That's only because if you could delay death until you were finally able to catch a steelhead, you'd outlive us all." "I'm sorry..." "But you're a lousy fisherman." "It needed to be said." "I know what you're doing." "You're trying to change the subject." "Denny, if you were in that courtroom, you saw how difficult it was for me to think of you dying." "I'd just like to enjoy my scotch and not have to think of it now." "So just... sit there with your cigar, if you don't mind, and blow smoke." "It's what you're best at." "–Fine." "Fine." "You don't have to be so huffy about it." "I had a day." "Sleepover?" "Fine."