"[ ♪ ]" "Finally, I don't want to wrap this up without thanking our non-Muslim neighbours." "After all, you can't have an outreach event without the support of the community." "Though apparently, we just did." "Best outreach day ever, Amaar." "We didn't get any visitors." "Exactly my point." " Yeah." " Uh, hey." "Uh, sorry." "Excuse me." "Are you the..." "Imam?" " Yes!" " Ah." "Welcome to Mercy mosque." "Did you enjoy the sermon?" "Oh, no, I..." "I just showed up." "I didn't want to sit through all the, uh..." "Hmm." "[ clears throat ] So, I'm, uh..." "I'm Dave Sharpe." "I'm station manager, Channel 96." "I didn't know Mercy had a cable access channel." "Yeah, we get that a lot." "Anyhoo, wondering if you wanted to host a show for us." "Here's the concept:" "Something to do with Muslims." "Something to do with Muslims." "What a concept." "Also the working title." "So, what do you say?" "You want to, uh, come on the thing, and do something..." "Muslim-ish?" "I can do Muslim-ish." "Actually, this could be very important." "You know, it's brave of you to be doing a show like this" " Given our political climate." " Right." "Also, uh, we have ethnic quotas, and our Jewish dude quit." "Oh." "Well, I'm..." "Flattered." "Flattered-ish." "[ ♪ ]" "Hey, I heard the news." "Mister TV star." "Well." ""TV star"." "{\pos(200,200)}Media personality, maybe." "{\pos(200,200)}Pundit." "{\pos(200,200)}Ah, I guess TV star." "So, Amaar, w-what's your angle for the show?" "{\pos(200,180)}You know," "{\pos(200,180)}something to do with Muslims." "Wow." "That sounds really..." " Vague." " If I may." "As a..." "As a P.R. Professional," "{\pos(200,200)}I know a thing or two about TV." "{\pos(200,200)}What's your grab factor?" "Measured, thoughtful perspectives on Islam and modern spirituality in a relaxed, accessible atmosphere." "That's not really a grab factor." "Yeah, unless you're grabbing for the remote." "To..." "[ clicks tongue ]" "Huh." "I appreciate your input..." "Uh, sort of." "But I've been on network television." "[ gasp ]" "I think I can handle public access." "When were you on network television?" "[ cheering ]" "[ ♪ ]" "Yeah!" "[ cheering ]" "Oh yeah." "You're a regular Regis Philbin." "Hey." "No way Regis could have caught that ball." "[ ♪ ]" "I hate that Kelly Parker." "Really?" "I just want her hair." "She dyes it." "No way!" "I could totally do yours for you, you know." "Are you kidding?" "My dad would freak if I coloured my hair." "He freaked when I started combing it." "No, I'm talking like, subtle highlights." "Your dad won't even notice." " Hey." " Hey." "Hey." " How are you guys?" " Good." "I hate that Kelly Parker." "No one ever says they hate me like that." "Okay." "Let's try it." "[ laugh ]" "[ ♪ ]" "This feels wrong to me." "Hmm?" "Oh, we don't have the budget for a new set." "It's..." "It's no biggie." "Yeah, but..." "Don't you think it's a bit confusing?" " Because it actually..." " In three." " Two." " It's not a..." "Because it says..." "[ buzzer ]" "Salaam alaikum." "Hello and welcome to "Islamic Horizons"." "[ "havah nagilah" ♪ ]" "Uh, yeah." "This is a new kind of spiritual program." "Why?" "Because I'm not here to talk at you." "I'm here to talk with you." "Let's get a little more comfortable, shall we?" "Islam is a religion supported by..." "[ chair creaks ]" "Islam is a..." "[ creak ]" "Islam..." "[ loud creaking ]" "[ creak ]" "Islam is a religion supported by pillars," "Not unlike the legs of the chair I'm sitting in." "I was supposed to be sitting for this." "[ ♪ ]" "I hope we're not leaving it in for too long." "It's bleach." "You can't leave it in for too long." "Uh, yes you can." "Seriously?" "You should go." "Maybe I should've practised on a doll or something." "I..." "You really need to not be here right now." "Ah..." "And that is why..." "I like the chances for the roughriders this season." "Finally." "That's a wrap..." "Please join us..." "Next time for "Islamic Horizons"." "[ "havah nagilah" ♪ ]" "And..." "We're clear." "Hey!" "[ buzzer ]" "What was that?" "You told me it was a 30-minute show." "Did I?" "I meant 60." "[ ♪ ]" "Reverend Magee." "Did you catch the show?" "Oh." "Was..." "Was..." "Was..." "Was that show on today?" "Oh, I sent you an email about it." "Plus you said, "good luck with the show"" "before I left for the station." "Well, you know what?" "I don't..." "I don't actually get that channel with my cable package." "I don't..." "I don't really watch TV." "I don't have a TV." "Got to go." "[ whistling "havah nagilah" ]" "Salaam alaikum, brother Baber." "Walaikum assalaam." "I saw your television program on my TV." "You did?" "What did you think?" "'cause some people are being a bit noncommittal." "I'll commit." "It was terrible!" "Really?" "I mean, I know I was stretching a bit at the end." "You were stretching at the beginning!" "You didn't think it was enlightening?" "Oh, I thought it was en-darkening." "I think you're a little out of your idiom." "You are an idiom!" "You can't talk by yourself for an entire hour and expect people to listen." "It's no different than what I do here at the mosque." "Ah, you said it, not me." "Huh." "Layla:" "It's okay, Brandy." "I think I found my way around the problem." "[ door closes ] Got to go." "Alhamdulillah!" "Finally, you're wearing the hijab!" "Well, you keep asking me to wear one." "Thought I might give it a whirl." "Huh." "I am so proud of you!" "[ chuckling ]" "Tonight, we dine out." "We should stay." "We paid for the house." "We might as well use it." "Nonsense." "How is anyone going to know" "That you've finally embraced your modesty" "Unless we show you off, huh?" "Come." "Come, come, come, come." "[ chuckling ]" "Oh great, I wanted to talk to you." "Oh, I thought this would happen." "You were right to come to me." "TV can be a cruel business." "Actually I wanted to talk to Rayyan." "It's just like I said." "You need the grab, the go, the gotcha." "Uh, listen:" "Will you be a guest on my next show?" "Oh, I don't know." "TV's not my thing." "The bip." "The bop." "The bang." "Obviously it would be a one-time deal." "The shim sham shuffle." "The grab-your-lunchbox." "That old spin-that-schnauzer." "Nobody's spinning any schnauzers." "Will you do it?" "Okay, I'll come on your show." "But only so I don't have to watch it." "Yay!" "My baby's going to be on TV!" "What do you think?" "Can she wear a hijab or what?" "Dad!" "Everybody say goodbye to Layla's ears!" "They are gone for good!" "Well, I think it's a lovely hijab, Layla." "You look like a big, grown-up w... [ door closes ]" "What is going on here?" "Nothing." "I just thought it was time to embrace my heritage and..." "Cover up your horrible dye job?" "Okay, look, you can't say anything to my dad." "Layla, to your father this is a serious, important matter." "When you stop wearing it he will be devastated." "Sure." "So, you're not going to say anything, right?" "In my day public access TV meant one of two things." "Some fat chick doing yoga, or at Christmas time, a fireplace." "But this dog's breakfast?" "Ugh..." "I've seen Al-Qaeda training videos with better production values." "And not only that, folks," "But, you know, the title says mosque, but the backdrop screams synagogue!" "How do we know that your Jews and your Muslims..." "Fred: [ on radio ] Haven't formed some sort of unholy alliance, huh?" "It wouldn't be the first time." "Well, maybe it would, but still..." "Sounds to me like..." "You need a new backdrop, brother Amaar." "There's no budget for a new set." "Ah, that is why I will build you one for nothing." "Nothing-nothing or Yasir-nothing?" "Nothing." "Of course as a de facto sponsor of the program" "I will merely require a tasteful thank-you credit at the top of the show." "I'm not sure that's appropriate for a show on Islam." "As opposed to a menorah?" "Okay, how about a credit at the end of the show?" "Deal." "Great." "Now, here's what I was thinking:" " How about a "CNN"-type thing" " I like it." "with sliding panels." " Yes." " And out of the sliding panels comes a..." " Television set." " All right." " Ah, nice set." " Thank you." "Is it just me, or is this slightly less elaborate than we discussed?" "It's a work in progress." "But you said "consider it done."" "Which you're not doing." "So if anyone's not holding up their end of the bargain, it's you." "Hamoudi Contracting?" "Yasir, you didn't mention this as part of the deal." "Oh, did I mention I was sweeping up sawdust at 7:00 a.m. this morning?" "[ clears throat ]" "Hi, am I wearing too much mascara?" "I think I'm wearing too much mascara." "Uh, I can't even tell that you're wearing mascara." "Oh my god, I'm not wearing enough mascara." "Ten seconds!" "Listen, don't be nervous." "Just relax!" " Enjoy the ride." " Okay." "I'll try." "And, in three, two..." "[ buzzer ]" "Salaam alaikum." "Welcome again to "Islamic Horizons"." "Ow!" "My tongue!" "Hi, I'm Rayyan Hamoudi." "Uh, today on the show we take a closer look at the everyday lives of Muslims." "Theriouthly, it hurtth." "See, I told you it looked good." "I never said it looked bad." "I just said my dad would freak." " So, did he?" " That's just it." "Whenever I'm at home, I'm wearing the headscarf." "He's never been happier." "Whoa, check it out." "Here comes little Miss Look-at-me." "I like your new streaks." "Oh my god, she is so nice." "Yeah!" "Rayyan:" "It can be difficult in this modern age to set aside the time or find the money to make the pilgrimage to Mecca." "We're all so busy." "Yes, but, um..." "Taking the hajj is a central tenement of our faith." "Tenet." "What?" "It's "tenet" of our faith." "You said "tenement"." "Or are you actually talking about apartment buildings?" "I..." "Okay." "Uh..." "And that's all the time we have for today." "Wait, I-I get to say that." "[ clears throat ]" "So, thank you for joining us today on "Islamic Horizons"." "Masalama." "But first, my final thought of the day..." "And we're clear!" "[ buzzing ]" "Aw, for the love of crackers." "You, you were good." "And I'm talking "not public-access good"," " Oh." " Actually..." "You want to be permanent co-host?" "I..." "I accept." " Great." " Guys, guys, guys, guys." "We just need one host." "Oh, okay," "Then just Rayyan can do it." "Okay, no, two is good." "[ chuckling ]" "And then Amaar said, "oh, oh, oh!" "I burned my tongue!"" "Poor Amaar." "Is he okay?" "[ laughing ]" "I think you are missing the point of the story." "Hmm..." "Hmm..." "You know, Layla," "You don't have to wear the hijab here at home." "I'm just getting used to it." "I'll take it off later." "[ ♪ ]" "Really, you know maybe you should put that in the wash, huh?" "[ ♪ ]" "Hmm." "Good idea, daddy!" "[ ♪ ]" "Thanks for the ride." "Bye-bye." "Have a nice day." "[ ♪ ]" " Miss celebrity." " Aw..." "Who would have thought I would know such a great big TV star?" "What about me?" "Yeah, yeah." "You know Rayyan too." "Thanks, Fatima." "Hey!" "Keep those cards and letters coming!" "You got cards and letters?" "Not really." "Couple of emails, though." "Like, half a dozen, tops." "Is something wrong?" "No, of course not." "I just wish you'd checked in with me before you agreed to co-host." "Well, I didn't know I needed your blessing." "No, not blessing." "More like..." "Permission." "There she is." "Oh!" " Oh, you were perfect yesterday, sweetie." " Yeah?" "Just perfect." "Oh, mom." "You..." "Huh." "Although," "You might want to think about sitting on the left." "It-it'll show off your better side." "Oh!" "I didn't know I had a worse side." " Yeah..." " Oh." "Oh, and also sweetie, just something to watch out for, you popped a lot of your "p"s." "Mmm..." " Yeah." " Huh..." "She never takes it off at home," "And yet I suspect that she is not wearing it elsewhere." "Today at school, she kept waiting for me to leave." "I am always waiting for you to leave." "What is she hiding under there, huh?" "Is it, uh, pierced ears?" "A hickey?" "A hickey piercing!" "Stop it, you foolish man!" "She only coloured her hair." "What?" "My little girl has painted her head like a common trolley?" "Don't do something stupid about this." "It is my duty to do something stupid." "Salaam alaikum." "Walaikum assalaam." "Hmm." "About this morning." "I was..." "Stupid." "Hmm." "And what's changed since lunch?" "I mean, I'm glad that you're..." "Which is to say, I realize you bring a certain..." ""thing" to the whole..." "Thing." "There, I said it." "[ laugh ]" "I'm not sure you did, but..." "Apology accepted." "Now, you are a large." "Ah, yeah." "The logo again?" "No." "I'm sorry, I didn't bring a medium." "I think he's saying no to the cap in general." "So, it's agreed." "We start with the hat, see how it goes." "[ whispering ] I didn't bring her one because you're the star." "20 seconds!" "Well, to a non-Muslim, it may seem excessive to pray... [ mouthing ]" "Uh, five times a..." "a week," "I mean, a day." "Uh, yes, but they're viewing salat as..." "An interruption." "Hang on." "Uh, yes..." "Uh, it's..." "It's important to be conscious of..." "Always remember to..." "Uh, I don't..." "Nose?" "Rayyan:" "Nose?" "Uh, circle?" "Giant circle?" "What?" "And we're out." "[ buzzer ]" "Why do I even bother having a thought of the day?" "Uh, okay." "I don't want to be a negative Norman here, but that was not one of your better efforts." "Oh, wait." "What about a call-in show?" "I like it." "I could be the producer!" " Works for me." " Yes!" " Oh!" " Is it me, or does that guy make a lot of snap decisions?" "Again, thanks for the ride, dad." "You are very welcome." "Here I am, at the door." "I think I can take it from here." "Of course you can." "You're a very smart girl." "Smart, clever, cunning girl." "[ nervous laugh ]" "Going to do the door thing now." "Okay." "Off you go." "Be with your friends in your hijab." "All right, why are you here?" "Hello, children." "I am your guest speaker today!" "I'm an economist." "Who can tell me what that is, hmm?" "You there." "In the lovely traditional head covering." "[ mouthing ] hmm?" "No?" "Well, let me explain." "Economics has of course been called..." "Layla, I love your scarf." "Where'd you get it?" "Baber:" "Economics is a broad canvas, limited only..." "Oh, oh, now remember, honey." "You have to look into the camera, but not at it." "Yeah, I don't even know what that means." "You cannot have a call-in show without a phone, and you can't have a phone without a pedestal." "Yes, but how does that explain the set?" "Someone had to pay for the pedestal." "Rayyan:" "Okay, let's go back to the phones." "[ click ]" "Go ahead, caller, you're on the air." "Man: [ on phone ] Yeah, I installed a sump pump in my basement and I think it may have clogged." "[ click ] [ cough ] Again, and, uh..." "I can't stress this enough:" "We're looking for Islam-related questions." "Islam." "Yes, go ahead." "Man: [ on phone ] Yes, I'm a practising Muslim." "Great!" "What's on your mind?" "Yes, I think I have dry rot on the rear deck of my house." "Wait a second!" "Dry rot is a very serious problem." "And, at..." "Hamoudi Construction, we can build you a new deck at a surprisingly affordable price." "[ mouthing ]" "I can't believe you'd come to my school and humiliate me." "My daughter, whatever do you mean?" "Is there something that you've been keeping from your classmates?" "Yes!" "You!" "Oh, stop it!" "I know that you've only been wearing the hijab at home to cover your hair paint." " So you knew about this and you didn't tell me?" " Yes." " This is a nightmare." " Huh." "Who knew that television could be so humiliating?" "Yeah." "Who knew?" "[ cheering ]" "[ ♪ ]" "[ ♪ stops ] [ cheering ]" "Hey, you guys." "So listen, I figured out a way to kick up the energy on the show." "You'll have your very own dog pound." "You know, like Arsenio." "You've got to admit, it takes guts to end an idea with "Arsenio"." "No." "No studio audience, mom." "I'm the producer, honey." "Oh, by the way," "We're going to 90 minutes daily." "If only there were some way to sink this thing." "The insolence!" "I am taking away your Internet" "Your telephone," "And..." "[ laugh ]" " Possibly your postage stamps." " Oh!" "Once again, I shall repeat a list of the things that I hate:" "Decadence." "Western decadence, the devil, and poorly-designed cricket bats!" "Okay, um..." "We're going to get a lot of calls about this." "I'm pulling the plug." "Yeah." "I'm pulling the plug." "[ ♪ ] [ mouthing ]" "[ ♪ ]" "Enough." "You do not have to wear the hijab anymore." "It is more important to me that your head have honest thoughts inside." "Okay." "You..." "You're not going to take it off?" "Well, I decided to wear it for a little while." "Kelly said it looked cool!" "What?" "That girl that sits next to you with the push-up brassiere and the belly button?" "A lot of girls in our class have belly buttons." "Layla!" "Fine." "You are a good girl." " Bye." " Bye-bye." "[ ♪ ]" "Salaam alaikum." "Walaikum assalaam." "What brings you 'round?" "I don't know, I just had some time to kill, I guess." "You miss the show, don't you?" "Please." "I think my 15 minutes of fame was 14 too long." "[ laugh ]" "But I wonder who they replaced us with." "[ ♪ ]" "And that, children, is how you make a lovely goat curry." "And how better to enjoy your meal than in a custom-built addition designed by Hamoudi Construction." "No, it's not worth it." "Don't turn the camera off." "{\pos(200,200)}You can still see the sign." "[ ♪ ]" "Subtitle by:" "Kiasuseven"