""Next on" Baywatch:" "Welcome to rookie school." "The Gauntlet is a lifeguard obstacle course." "It will be the ultimate pass/fail test." "If I don't make the jump," "I don't graduate rookie school." "You're gonna be rookie of the year, you're just gonna have to go through me." "Ourjob is to weed out the ones who don't have what it takes." "It's also to help the ones who have what it takes, but don't know it yet." "What's the matter, Brody?" "Can't make it?" "Just need an excuse to lose, huh?" "I think you're afraid to win." "I'm not afraid of anything." "Then show me." "KMF-295 requesting immediate backup." "What's your 20, Mitch?" "Off Tower 18, all available units." "Rescue One requesting backup." "Rescue Two en route." "Nice save, Mitch." "A bag, okay, it's a bag, very funny." "You got us all the way out here for a bag?" "Argh!" "Hey, Dad." "What are you writing?" "Dad, why don't you come out of the Stone Age and get a computer like all the other writers?" "I've written ten novels and 18 movies on this machine, Matt." "Not about to abandon it now." "Well, maybe I should have been born a machine." "Mathieu, tu sais ton pere ne veut pas que tu fasses la motociclette avec des shorts." "Peut-etre je peut changer mes vrai jambes pour des jambes mécaniques." "Please, Matthew, be careful!" "Don't... say a word." "Hey, any of us would have done the same thing, Mitch." "You'd better believe it." "Hey, better to be safe than sorry." "I'm drowning!" "Help me!" "Me, too!" "I'm drowning!" "Very funny." "Yep." "It's in a great location just across from the beach, spacious, and the best part is:" "I can afford it." "I don't need to get a roommate." "That's great!" "I just got a place, too, and here... is to living alone." "No one to criticize you, antagonize you..." "Borrow your clothes, eat your food." "I'll toast to that." " Here's to living alone... whoo!" " To living alone." "Oh, yeah." "Oh, my God." "They're never gonna let Mitch live this one down." "I mean, they could at least clean up after themselves." "I mean, we don't have a maid around here." "Could have fooled me." "Hey, Summer." "Hey, loosen up with that thing." "You're not gonna drown in the sand." "I'm just so nervous." "I've been looking everywhere for you." "Yeah, my father is on my case again." "He says I never finish anything I start." "I swear the day I graduate rookie school," "I'm going to take this rescue can and shove it right up his typewriter." "Looks like you lucked out to beat me in the qualifying swim, Brody." "Congratulations." "I got to tell you, I don't think luck's going to get you through this time, pal." "You want to be rookie of the year, you're just gonna have to go through me." "You're such a tortoise in the water, Clint." "I'll swim right around you." "Hey, Mitch." "Mitch!" "Morning." "Guido, how are you?" "I'm a-gonna swim for you." "I've been day and night practicing in the water." "Just look at this body, huh, and look at these muscles, huh?" "So many of them, all in one place, huh?" "Guido, I appreciate your enthusiasm," " but I got a lot of guys..." " Yeah, yeah, b-but..." "But I have what it is you need, Mitch, so use me, use me till I am all of me used up." "I might be able to use you in some other capacity if you're interested." "Am I interested?" "Does a lifeguard wear his red shorts?" "Thanks." "Morning." "Good morning." "Welcome to rookie school." "Last year 16,934 people were able to go home from the beach because L.A. County lifeguards saved their lives." "The record for rescues in one day by one lifeguard is 78." "Someone's life may depend on what you learn here, so pay attention." "Everything you do from this moment forward will be observed and evaluated." "If you fail a written examination or physical drill, you will be dismissed." "Those of you who are not dismissed, or who don't quit during the next two weeks of intense training will be drafted to work on various beaches." "The one who is voted Rookie of the Year will be able to select his or her own beach." "You're learning about lifesaving techniques, lifesaving equipment," "C.P.R., mouth-to-mouth resuscitation first aid, but what we can't teach you is responsibility." "Hello." "Did I say something funny?" "Uh, no, sir." "Um, sorry." "It was my fault." "I said something to her." "Why don't you share it with the rest of us?" "I was just wondering which of you would, uh... be my partner to learn mouth-to-mouth." "Mister?" "Uh, Brody." "Matt Brody." "Mr. Brody, mouth-to-mouth resuscitation is not kissing." "A lifeguard may have to give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to a 250-pound truck driver or a two-year-old child." "It is not a situation where one chooses a partner." "This is not "The Dating Game. "" "Is that clear?" "The Gauntlet is a lifeguard obstacle course." "You'll run it twice." "First time for fun, just to get the feel of it." "The second time will be at the completion of rookie school." "It will be the ultimate pass/fail test." "Summer!" "Summer." "Hi." "I'm C.J." "Yeah." "I guess everybody knows who I am now... the only who didn't make the pier jump." "You're not the first rookie to be terrified up there, and you definitely won't be the last." "Yeah, well, what difference does it make?" "If I don't make the jump, I don't graduate rookie school." "You'll make the jump." "Yeah, that's easy for you to say." "You don't know what it's like to look down at the water and..." "Feel like it's 100 miles away?" "Your heart's beating so loud that you can't hear the waves crashing below?" "Summer, I was the only one in my rookie class who couldn't make the pier jump the first time out." "Yeah, well, so how did you finally do it?" "I decided that I wanted it more than I was afraid of it." "And when that final jump came," "I just imagined that there was someone down there who would drown if I didn't, so I did." "Hey, hey, hey, hey!" "C. J!" "How did you get the key to my apartment?" ""Your" apartment?" "Yeah." "I rented this place from an old boyfriend of mine, Mark..." "Harris?" "!" "You know him?" "Know him?" "I dated him." "He rented this apartment to me last week." "I gave him first and last two weeks ago." "So?" "So I leased this apartment before you did." "Well..." ""I have taken possession, and possession is nine-tenths of the law." "Okay, if you want to get technical." "Consider this possession." "C.J. " Nam myo ho renge." "Nam myo ho renge." "Nam myo ho renge." "Nam myo ho renge." "Nam myo ho renge." "Nam myo ho renge." "Nam myo ho renge." "Nam myo ho renge." "Nam myo ho renge." "Nam myo ho renge." "Look what you made me do." "Oh, you shouldn't be using salt." "I like salt." "It makes you bloat." "Do I look bloated to you?" "I'm in too serene a state to engage in a bloat debate." "You realize this isn't working, don't you?" "I mean, we've been involuntary roommates for a week now," "And I'm starting to break out in hives!" "Well, maybe it's because you don't eat right." "Here, try some of this." "No, thank you." "I can hardly stand to watch "you" drink it." "Stephanie, your system is polluted." "You should at least chant with me." "I don't want to chant with you, and I certainly don't want to have to keep picking up after you." "Then why do you keep doing it?" "Because I hate wet clothes draped over chairs and doors to dry." "New invention, C. J:" "Laundromats." "Washers, dryers." "Use them." "Do you know what dryers do?" "Dryers send out all kinds of bad elements into the air, not to mention the waste of electricity." "You know, I have a great book on saving the environment." "I think you should read it." "How about one on saving my sanity?" "Salt causes hypertension, you know." "Then move to the victim's head." "Check airway." "Take a deep breath, seal off the nose and deliver two full lung inflations one to one-and-a-half seconds in duration." "Then move back to the chest." "Locate proper hand position and begin 15 cardiac compressions." "How do you learn this word-for-word?" "Ah, I just have one of those memories." "You know, I never realized you had to learn so much to be a lifeguard." "Mm-hmm." "Do you want something to drink?" "Yeah, give me one of those smart drinks, and make it a double." "Just try to visualize the whole page in your mind's eye." ""Then move to the victim's head... "" "The beach "is" beautiful in the morning, isn't it?" "I'm Aaron Brody, Matthew's father." "And you are?" "Summer Quinn." "It's nice to meet you." "Summer... what an enchanting name." "Huh..." "And why does a beautiful young lady like you want to become a lifeguard?" "Well, actually, Mr. Brody, I..." "Please." "Call me Aaron." "Well, lifeguarding is something" "I think I would be good at, and I really need the money." "Do you live alone?" "Support yourself?" "No, I live with my mom." "We just moved out here from Pittsburgh." "We've always kind been a, you know, a two-income family." "So your parents are divorced." "Well, that's awful." "What happened?" "Dad, knock it off." "Don't answer him." "Matt, I think your dad was just trying to be polite." "No, he was just trying to probe you for material." "Everyone he meets is just research for one of his novels or scripts." "Lay off my friends, okay?" "My son is uncomfortable with honest dialogue." "Matt, I think we'd better get to the pool." "Go ahead." "I'll see you there." "Don't get too attached to my son." "He has a problem with commitment." "It "was" a pleasure meeting you, Summer." "Class starts at 10:00, okay, Matt?" "That demonstration was to show you what it's like when a killer riptide turns the bottom of the ocean into a sandstorm." "Sometimes you can't even see the submerged victim." "Question:" "What would you do in a rescue under a pier if a wave was about to slam you and your victim up against a piling?" "Clint?" "Put my body between the victim and the piling." "The opposite." "Put the victim between you and the piling, because if "you" get hurt, you both might drown." "Lieutenant." "This is your life's blood on the beach and in the ocean." "Take it with you everywhere." "When you approach a victim, you must... offer them the can first." "If the victim approaches you, you must block and parry." "Take the can." "You're late, Mr. Brody." "I'm sorry." "Is that what you'd say if you were late to a rescue and somebody drowned?" "Peut-etre, si c'était toi." "I understand French, Mr. Brody." "Get in the pool." "There's not one of you" "I can't totally dominate in the water, not one of you who could threaten my life with mere strength, because I know how to protect myself and the life of my victim." "Rescue me." "Learn these lessons here and now, before your life and your victim's life is on the line." "Thank you for illustrating my point so well." "You were a little rough on him." "Our job is to weed out the ones who don't have what it takes." "It's also to help the ones who have what it takes but don't know it yet." "You know you have everything inside of you to be a great lifeguard." "How in the hell do you know what I have inside of me?" "Because when you run you let it out, when you swim, you let it out." "Matt, you've got the potential of beating every other rookie in that school." "Don't let Lieutenant Holden beat you." "Lieutenant Holden?" "Apparently she knows everything, right?" "You could learn a lot from her." "Yeah, I just did." "I did out there." "I learned that I don't want to be a lifeguard anymore." ""The Subjugation of Pleasure," "Part One:"" "To fully understand the revolutionary nature" "Oh, Leonard." "Of the marriage of myth and lies," "Oh, that feels "so" good." "...the erogenous zones of the '90s are more closely linked..." "Oh, yes to emotion." "Oh, my God, that feels so good." "...than what is traditionally thought of as erotica..." "It is in the human touch, caress, stroke, and tickle that the source of new pleasure can be found." "When we embrace each other, we no longer need to be tied to desperate groping." "Today, we can, with confidence, massage the arms or stroke the foot and derive far more pleasure than is obtainable..." "Um..." "I'll just go to my room." "...sensual areas that remain so fixated upon in the American psyche." "Leonard, I enjoyed our evening very, very much." "Oh, great." "You inspire me." "I'll fall asleep listening to your tape." "Sweet dreams, Leonard." "Stephanie, red means stop." "What would you be doing right now if I didn't come home when I did, huh?" "I mean, right this second, what..." "Listen to me, he is incredible." "I met him at a book signing, and I thought he was a total nerd." "He is." "It doesn't matter." "He is the sexiest man I have ever met." "At dinner he was explaining to me the erogenous myth and its relationship to neglected areas of the female anatomy." "What do you mean "areas"?" "I mean, like which ones?" "Well, if you didn't come home when you did, he probably would have worked his way all the way down to my hand." "Where did he start?" "My upper arm." "Your upper arm?" "Well... lucky for you I came home when I did." "I mean, we wouldn't have wanted him to get all the way down to your fingers on the first date, now, would we?" "So did you guys bring home anything?" "I'm starving." "Whoa." "Mmm-mm." "Hello." "Who authorized the purchase of a new blackboard?" "Desks?" "Chairs?" "What's going on here?" "It's not new." "I take the old and make it look new." "Oh, I spent day and night working, and polishing and cleaning and cleaning, and polishing and cleaning and cleaning just to make it look beautiful for you." "Guido, thank you." "Oh, the pleasure..." "she's all mine." "Well, keep up the good work." "Well... congratulations to those of you who made it to this last day of rookie school." "Your last test will be the Gauntlet." "It will be harder than the first time you ran it." "The dummies will be heavier and farther out in the water." "The run will be longer, and the pier jump higher but I know you can do it." "You've worked hard these last two weeks, really hard." "So go out there and go get 'em." "Hmm." "May I help you?" "Yeah, my name is Lieutenant Mitch Buchannon." "I'm looking for Matt Brody." "Well, that makes two of us." "Matthew didn't come home last night." "Please, come in." "Have a seat." "Thank you." "As you probably know, Matt's attending rookie school" " Mm-hmm." " And... well, he had a little problem with one of our other lieutenants yesterday, and he ran off." "Matthew has a difficult time with authority." "He's... sensitive boy." "Well, I think Matthew needs to accept responsibility for himself, for his own behavior." "And you believe that becoming a lifeguard will help him develop that?" "Absolutely." "When you're responsible for the safety of thousands of people on the beach you have to be responsible." "And if you're incapable of responsibility, you'd be putting those people's lives in danger." "Mr. Brody..." "I believe in Matt." "Given half a chance," "I think he could start believing in himself." "Do you have any idea where I might find him?" "I'd sure like to talk to him." "Yes." "Off getting in trouble somewhere." "He may have gone surfing." "His board was missing this morning." "Thank you." "Matt, wait up." "How did you find me?" "I just came from your house." "I had a little talk with your parents." "My father gives new meaning to the phrase "family man," doesn't he?" "He thinks you're a quitter." "What do you think?" "I think you're afraid to win." "I'm not afraid of anything." "Then show me." "Show your dad." "Show yourself." "Why is my being a lifeguard so important to you?" "Because you remind me of a young hothead I once knew who had a problem with his dad." "Eddie Kramer?" "No." "This one was about a foot taller." "The Gauntlet starts in an hour!" "With or without you." "Okay, today you're on the Gauntlet against the clock." "There will be a staggered start... two minutes between each group." "Damn it." "Go ahead." "Okay, group one, go to the starting line." "Good luck, Kate." "I'm sorry I'm late again, Lieutenant Holden." "It will never happen again." "Join group two." "Thank you." "All right, let's go." "Jump!" "Summer!" "Summer, jump!" "Everyone's passing you." "Jump." "Summer, take my hand." "We'll jump together." " No, I can't do this." " Yes, you can; come on." "Come on." "What's the matter, bro?" "You can't make it?" "Just need an excuse to lose, huh?" "Come on, don't let him win." "You could beat him." "I'm not jumping without you." "Look, if I can't do this by myself," "I don't deserve to make it." "Look, we'll do it together." "We'll jump together." "Okay?" "On three." "One... two... three." "Now, go get Clint!" "Go!" "Okay, listen up, let's go." "We all know you're anxious to hear where you'll be working this summer." "And as you know, there are 18 of you, and there are only 13 positions open." "The selections were based on competitive results, test scores, and attitude." "Lieutenant Holden?" "Thank you." "The assignments are as follows:" "Zuma:" "Reilley and Johnson." "Topanga:" "Beggs and Dowling." "Manhattan:" "Kreiger and Peterson." "Huntington:" "Hagar and Dwyer." "And Baywatch:" "Lewiston and Quinn." "Lieutenant Buchannon will announce the Rookie of the Year." "Of the six of you remaining," "I'm sorry, but five will have to wait until next summer, but I would like to thank everybody for making this possibly the best rookie school in L.A. County lifeguard history." "As you all know, tradition states the Rookie of the Year gets his or her choice of where they work." "This year, that choice goes to..." "Matthew Brody." " Thank you." " Congratulations, Matt." "Thank you." "Congratulations." " Thanks." " Your unselfish support of Summer on the pier showed us a lot." "That's what lifeguarding is all about:" "Being there for each other, backing each other up." "Yeah, I learned that." "So, which beach would you like to represent?" "Well, if it's okay, um..." "I'd like to work here at Baywatch." "Got it." "Thank you." "You apprenticeship starts tomorrow." "Don't be late." "Hey, I'll be early." "Just be on time." "Okay." "Mmm." "Hey, what about Guido?" "Guido!" "I forgot about Guido." "Guido, Lieutenant Holden and I agree that in light of all the unauthorized things you've been doing around here..." "Without our knowledge..." "You are charged with... or shall I say, in charge of all the maintenance duties on the beach." "That is, if you want to be our official maintenance engineer." "Engineer?" "!" "Oh, Lieutenant Mitch, you mean the responsibility?" "You think I have it?" "Oh, and Lieutenant Holden." "Guido." "A "thank you" would be quite sufficient, Guido." "Engineer..."