"And Iron Maiden, that you gotta "Die with your boots on"." "My band, "DeadRatt", knows better:" "Dying sucks." "In the end, it doesn't matter the joints you smoked or the chicks you banged." "Only if you live up to your principles you can die in peace." ""In the way of virtue, there is life, and in its ways there is no death"." "Which is what I have just said, but duller." "Excuse me, daddy, could you do me a favor?" "Can you make these penguins shut the hell up?" "Excuse me?" "There's a serious burial around, you know?" "Thanks." "This lady has one helluva voice!" "If I had that voice, I'd sing my way to rock stardom." "I know you picked this flick to have a few laughs, but yesterday Eugene, Isi's dad, passed away, and you don't wanna know how..." "So, try not to make any joke." "Be careful with the hole!" "Poli!" "Are you ok?" "Poli, you've fallen..." "The "fallen one" is uncle Poli." "We call him Poli cuz' he's a policeman and his name is Policarpus." "I made up his nickname." "My brother!" "As a farewell, dear Eugene, your son Isi is gonna take your guitar and play a solo in your honor." "Isi!" "Kick some ass!" "Isi!" "Isi!" "Isi!" "You son of a dog!" "Isi!" "Isi, you son of a bitch!" "Isi!" "Isi!" "Isi!" "Isi, look this way!" "Isi, one question!" "Isi, please!" "Isi!" "Why did you accept to be the new AC/DC singer?" "Compassion." "Angus has been begging for ages." "One question, Isi!" "Thanks, dude." "It's hot as hell in here." "Was it hard to leave DeadRatt, your old band?" "Hard?" "To leave a bunch of talentless loosers?" "Yeah, right, real hard!" "AC/DC!" "AC/DC!" "DeadRatt... fuck you..." "Poor Isi." "I'm gonna have to pull some strings." "Goddammit!" "What time is it, dude?" "It's time to get the fuck outta here." "What the hell were you doing?" "Doing?" "I was doing two hot ladies." "You're late to your dad's funeral due to an orgy?" "Yeah." "Isi, your father would be proud of you." "It'd be the first time." "Take this, dude." " What about Puke?" " Locked 'n ' loaded." "Puke, don't load it so much, it's not a joint." "If this was a joint, I'd load it much much more." "Olé!" "Olé!" "It's important." "The historic value of this mausoleum is incalculabe." "It survived Napoleon's invasion, even the civil war." "In my opinion, it's... immortal." "No!" "Speaks japanese" "Motherfuckers!" "You know what time it is, right?" "Yeah." "Time to get the fuck outta here." "Fuck me!" "HIGH VOLTAGE" "Rock is dead." "Rock was born dead." "From a dead "slash" corpse mother." "No!" " Sure it's not!" " Of course not!" "Rock it's son of revolution." "But we killed it." "Men like me decided that the world was better without it." "Do you know how we did it?" " No." " Me neither." "I'm not surprised." "Carvajal, tell them how to end a revolution." "Making a trademark out of it." "Which, in time, is out of fashion." "Angie knows." "She was a rocker once." "Right, baby?" ""What you are about to see has really happened"" "Holy shit!" "This happened this morning in Leganes' graveyard." "A bunch of rockers were burying a deceased comrade and fired a cannon in his honor, AC/DC style." "That's pure rock'n 'roll..." "Are you crazy?" "Crazy?" "I'm talking about bringing back the essence of rock." "Something wild, dangerous, mean." "Let's kick some ass." "What for?" "Your TV show is a big success." "Which, by the way, cost me a fortune." "Ok." "You say rock is dead, right?" "Let's resuscitate it!" "Is it out of fashion?" "Fashions come back." "And, as you say, the first to know is the first to get rich." "And you think of this after seeing some lowlifes destroy a church." "Sometimes destruction can be very constructive." "If you take off your clothes now" "I'll talk to the marketing guys tomorrow." "Of course, Berdún." "Whatever marketing guys say." "They are the rock." " You miss it, right?" " What?" "Rock 'n ' roll, your band..." "What was its name?" "The mumps?" "Angie and the anginas." "And yes, I miss some things." "Like what?" "Being broken?" "Being a joke?" "Blowing dicks of guys like me in order to realase a record?" "You know?" "I miss the most the moments when I didn't give a fuck about all that." ""HELL'S BELL"" "This is "Booze"." "You wanna know who he is here for?" "Eugene!" "Eugene!" "Eugene!" "Eugene!" "Just in case you didn't notice, this party is in Eugene's memory." "This is what he'd have wanted." "A wild farewell." "But nothing as wild as the cannon." "I still have the "goose vamps"." "And Isi..." "I'm sure he must be thanking Puke right now." "Are you stupid?" "Did you have to use a real cannonball?" "I dunno!" "No idea!" "You know the sentence they could put up our asses?" "No idea!" "I dunno!" "I know, Isi is a bit of a bastard." "But not always." "Sometimes he's a lot of a bastard." "What?" "The spirit of my dead boyfriend is possessing you?" "See, I'm a medium." "Like Whoopsie Goldman." " The black chick from "Ghost"." " And my boyfriend talks to you?" "Indeed." "He tells me he won't rest in peace 'till you do his last will." "And what is it?" "He's communicating..." "Are you kidding?" "I'm very superstitious!" "I'm a sucker for the paranormal!" "What does he say?" ""Blow me"." "It's true!" "That's what he always said!" "Well, let's give him some peace..." "That's what I love about being a medium:" "Helping people." "Please, careful with the teeth..." "Very well." "What can I say about me?" "I don't have a girlfriend." "But thanks to my job, I get laid sometimes." "I'm the plumber." "I'm here to unblock the pipes..." "Yes, come inside..." "Deep, deep inside..." "God, what a body!" "The bill's gonna grow, baby..." "Now, Lucy, now!" "The water is coming!" "Now, now, now!" "What a stream!" "Cut!" "Very well!" "Let's shoot another..." "You've been huge, Disi." "Thanks." "You want some cheese?" "No, honey." "I don't eat dairies." ""Wild scream?", "Final destruction?" What the fuck is this?" "Don't you remember?" "That's your idea." "Improved by the marketing guys." "My idea?" "This is a rock contest..." "without rock!" "But it'll be colorful." "And people will find it funny "slash" amusing." "Obviously we need a casting of rock bands willing to be humilliated." "What?" "I won't sign this piece of shit!" "Well, your contract doesn't say so, does it, Carvajal?" "Her contract says whatever you say, Mister Berdun." "If you don't agree, let your lawyer talk to mine." "Carvajal, talk to yourself..." "Everything has already been talked, Mister Berdun." "I wanted a Temple of Rock..." "You've given me a circus." "Congratulations..." "Mister Berdun." "I'd fuck her right now." "What did you say about the casting, Manuela?" "We need some losers we can manipulate." "That's easy." "We'll give them money and pussy." "What rocker wouldn't fall for that?" "Gee, Disi, you are a non stop ejaculating machine!" "You should forget about rock and get a serious job..." "like porn!" "Thanks, Celia." "I know this is a decent way of living." "But what can I say?" "Rock is my thing." "What?" "You guys play like shit!" "Fistfuck you!" "I've got the feeling DeadRatt is about to triumph..." "The band must split the fuck up." "That's a fuckin' cool idea, dude." "Wait a minute..." "What band?" "Ours?" "DeadRatt?" "No, the Spice Girls." "Of course I'm talking about our band!" "Puke, you kick his head or we do it together?" "I could do it..." "but he may be right." "But your only talent is beating the shit outta drums!" "What else could you do with your life?" "My uncle has offered me a job at a summer camp." "Come and get it, you fuckers!" "Cookie... say something!" "I wanna be a mother." "You're a pretty little fuck." "What happened to you, guys?" "Where is the heavy fury?" "We don't even have our own songs!" "I'm working on them..." "You're working on one, but you ain't got the guts to play it!" "'Cause it ain't ready..." "It needs something..." "It needs something... since six years ago, when you started it." "Don't you get it?" "Our time is gone!" "If you old man heard that..." "My old man always wanted to be a rockstar!" "And spent thirty years playing with his band!" "At the end, he died of a heart attack while jerking off." "And he's only known in his hood." "For his cans of cockles!" ""Eugene's cockles"" "I always dreamt of playing my song at Angie's Show..." "I guess we'll have to keep on dreaming..." "It's better this way, dude!" "Now we'll have time for the important things in life:" "Get drunk, get laid, get high..." "We're free, man!" "You're under arrest!" "But why?" "Why do you think?" "Destruction of a monument, public scandal... and poor personal hygiene!" "I condemn you to pay 100000 euros!" "What are ya talking about?" "To get that amount of money I'd have to rob a bank..." "And you don't that to happen, do you?" "I can give ya 1000 euros..." "Are you bargaining over the sentence?" "200000!" "Last offer: 1500." "Right now." "Shut up... 300000!" "And if you don't pay it, your properties will be seized!" "Tell me, Santa..." "what shit are you smoking?" " 300000 euros!" " It's not that much..." "I won't gather that money in my mutherfuckin' life!" " I'm gonna lose the Hell's Bell!" " Don't worry, we'll find a solution!" "Guys, guys, I have an idea!" "You wanted to be a mother, right?" "More than anything..." "That's it!" "I knock her up, we get the baby..." "and we sell it!" "You asshole!" "We gotta pay in 30 days!" "There's no time!" "What a fucking shitty week!" "First, we break up the band." "And now we lose the Bell..." "Dude..." "What if we get the band together and get the Bell back?" ""We're looking for the Wildest Band!"" "If you're rockers, and you're nuts..." "You're perfect!" "Are we looking for this?" "No!" "We're looking for this..." "We can do that, can't we?" "That's what we're good at!" "Alright, we enrol the contest, win and save the Bell!" "We need 300000 euros." "You can bet your ass your dear Angie's prize is a piece of shit." "It's a pity this ain't an american movie." "If it was, the prize would be exactly the money we need." ""And the prize is, can you believe it?" "500000 euros, dudes!" "Much better than an american movie!" "We're gonna have to win that godddam contest..." "Now you're speaking!" "Come on, let's raise some hell, fuckers!" "Dude, did we hit something?" "Nah, maybe a scratch..." "Fucking shit!" "Schizo, Dementia... damage control!" "Maniac, they fucked the Panzer!" "What?" "You know what that means, don't you?" "Nope." "Wacko, tell 'em." "It means the repair is on your insurance." "What if we don't have one?" " You drive with no insurance?" " And with no driver's licence..." "And sometimes I speak on my cell while driving..." "You wanna die?" "Hey, dudes!" "I know you..." "You blew that church up, didn't you?" "Yeah, but that was nuthin'" "You shoulda seen us at St. Paul's..." "I'm Angie..." "I'm Isi..." "And this is..." "You know, this is happening only in you imagination..." "Yes, but could it keep it on a little longer?" "Disi..." "Disi!" "Wou-would I like to sign you this?" "Fuck, man, this is my first demo!" "I've had it for ages!" "The very day it was released, I stole it." "Well done." "You got a pen?" "The church destroyers..." "Inga, bring her before she gets stained." "I only wanted to say that I'm a great fan of yours, Mister Berdun..." "What's the name or your band, son?" ""The Psycho Squad"." "I'm Maniac." "Maniac, you wanna be stars?" "Yes." "Would you change your name?" "Yes." " And your style?" " Yes, yes..." "And would you mind if I screwed your mothers?" "No, no." " We got a doubt "slash" question." " Why these and not the others?" "Because I hate lowlifes who don't respect private property." "See ya." "Bye, Disi." "What did she write, dude?" ""For Disi." "I'll steal your record the very day it's released"." ""Let's meet at your's place to see, let's meet at your's place to see... let's meet at your's place to see..." "the last episode of "Friends"." "We'll make mayonaisse we can spread, and we'll play together the sitar... all those things necessary to see..." "tha last episode of "Friends"." ""Tell me, please, are you the last on the queue?" "I left my curtains washing keep my turn while I go to the Butchery"." "Thank you, Househusbands." "Who's next?" "The Lilli-Putos." ""Let's buy together one kilogram of mercury." "We'll be amazed by its density..." "We'll shove it up our asses"." "Could it be weirder than this?" ""The wildest band, the wildest band... there is no contest like the Wildest Band." "If you got a band, but it's not wild you better not come to the Wildest Band."" ""I'm on a highway to hell..." "On a highway to hell..."" ""Tonight we're gonna drink ourselves to death..." "Fuck, yeah!"" ""We're the Sisters of the Endless Torment..."" ""Bushido is right." "Samuright!"" ""I ain't living la vida loca..." "I'm living la vida tough..." "Maybe I have no sweet feelings, but at least I like to sing..." "Everybody!" "Metal lovin', bulletproof... mental loving, balletproof "." "DeadRatt, band number 136." "Wait a second, weren't we going to play "Highway to hell"?" "We were going to play your song..." " Mine?" "It ain't ready yet..." " It was "Run to the hills"..." ""Creatures of the night", that's it!" ""Creature of the night", that's you!" "Isi, don't be mean to Cookie..." "Puke, did I tell you to defend me?" "Cookie, how is "Creatures" like?" "It's like finished, not like yours." " Isi, don't be mean to Disi..." " What the fuck is wrong with you?" "Stop fighting, dammit!" "You're in." "Fuckin' "A"!" "You didn't want a circus but you choose a bunch of clowns..." "Don't call them "clowns"..." "Angie, Angie..." "We got something for you..." "Yo, yo..." "He's my friend." "You' re right, they aren't clowns." "Theyre buffoons." "Inga, let 'em go!" "It's a flyer." "What did you expect, a bazooka?" "Inga, fucking let 'em go!" "Fuck..." "See, tonight we throw a party and it'd be great if you came." "You can take your old man with you." "We got hot milk and everything..." "Probably comes from your mothers." " Oh, I'm not her father..." " You're her grandfather?" "Cool, we have special offers for the elders!" "Sorry, we can't go." "We have a dinner with the band that will win the contest." " At ten?" " At ten." "I'm scared." "And nervous..." "Well, not nervous, 'cause she ain't gonna come." "But what if she comes?" "What do I do?" "What do I say?" "And Isi, Puke and Cookie really wanna help me..." "And that really scares me shitless." "Dude, why are you hiding?" "The moment Angie gets in here, you show her one of your porn movies:" ""Indiannus Jones and the Temple of Fuck"." "It's romantic enough." "And when she asks:" ""Is that dick yours?"." "You go: "Sure." "Wanna see it?"." "And you take it out!" "Nice and Disi!" "Are you nervous?" "Me?" "Nah, she ain't coming..." "There she is..." "You're Angie, right?" "Well, sometimes." "You're hotter than in tv..." "How original..." "Angie, it's an honor to have you here..." "Look, what the hell is that?" "He got dizzy..." "People drink like crazy..." "Angie, would you sign me an autograph?" " Let her breathe!" " This is Hell's Bell, our joint." " It's fucking cool." " Disi must be around." "Disi, look who's here!" " What's up?" " Angie!" "I knew you'd come..." "I'm smoking a joint, not nervous at all, ultracool!" "This is one hell of a joint!" "Whose is it?" " His." " His." "Both of you?" "I only have one percent." "He's the brains, the heart... the ding fucking dong of the Bell!" "Disi, thanks for helping me with my Quantum Physics Test." "Motherfucker is brilliant!" "He's a genius, all brains..." "We leave you alone." "Cute t-shirt..." "It's you." "I know." "You're a box of surprises." "I wonder what's coming next and I've had a lot of jobs:" "Undertaker, ice delivery man zoo cleaner and slaughterhouse cleaner!" "And above all, you're a porn actor." "Above, below..." "whatever the director says." "But that's temporary till the rock comes for me." "Just like you, right?" "Wrong." "The rock already came for me." "What do you mean?" "Berdun decided that I had been made for TV." "Well, your TV show is alright..." "But Angie and the Anginas were fucking "A"." ""Raising fever" was a motherfucking "A" tune..." "Don't you miss that?" "I'll tell you a secret..." "Look." "I haven't written a song for ages..." "But I'll always carry this recorder with me." "Just in case a great song comes to me." "I'm writing one that's gonna blew you away." "Right now?" "No, for the last six years." "But it ain't ready yet." "Needs something." "Six years with a song?" "Do you how much is that?" "Isi says that's one helluva lot." "Right." "The last time I played was exactly one helluva lot ago." "One helluva lot?" "That much?" "Dudes, listen to me!" "Angie is here tonight!" "You remember "Raising fever"?" "Fuckin' Keanufucker..." "Will my boyfriend's spirit be around much longer?" "Thank you." "Angie, Angie!" "In which war did you meet together?" "It was no war." "It was something worse." "Much, much worse..." "We met... at the casting of American Idol." "Angie, you're just on time." "Desinfect yourself and have dinner." "No." "I'm real tired." "DeadRatt's party was fucking amazing." "Berdun, it would be great if the Psycho Squad won the contest." "But we're worried about DeadRatt." "They're the wildest "slash" meanest "slash" beastiest." "And they're Angie's favorites." "Angie can go to hell!" "Psycho Squad will win." "We'll play dirty if we have to." "Hell, we'll play dirty anyway." "Q and A:" "Are you ready to rock?" "This moment rocks, right, Isi?" " I've seen you peeing many times." " I mean the contest." "It's the hugest gig we've ever been at." "Chill, the only things at stake are the Bell, our band... and the woman of your life." "Would you stop splashing?" "They are all worthless pieces of shit..." "You can bet your asses we ain't seeing anything wild." " You wanna something wild?" " You mean, wildly small?" "What wild thing could these bands do we didn't do before?" "Destroy a guitar on someone's head!" "Nobody has done that!" "Who could be dumb enough to do that?" "The way they speak, these guys must be from Mostoles." "Our Wild Jury should be sitting right here." "But the only way to keep'em sitting is tying'em up to a fucking electric chair." "I give you..." "Molotov!" "Didn't you say they are from Mostoles?" "Like Angie's said..." "The Mostolov." "And these are the wildest rock and roll bands!" "The Zombie Bullfighters..." "Satan's Katanas..." "Sisters of Endless Torment..." "Youngblood..." "Psycho Squad..." "And DeadRatt!" "First test:" "Wild Shout!" "Make me happy, Maniac." "Everything is under control, mister Berdun." "Tonight we'll dine fried rat." "Shut up." "If you wanna make me puke, you don't need to speak." "Thanks for the compliment, sir." "Straight from Hell's Bell..." "DeadRatt!" "Not bad, huh?" "Fucking "A"!" "You can scream clearer but not louder!" "DeadRatt!" "You know the difference between you and a fucking piece of shit?" "Me neither." "Don't disappoint me again." "Dude, how can you take so much electricity?" "It's a family thing." "My father was struck by a lighting and survived." " That very day he became rocker." " What are the odds?" "Odds, my ass!" "It was his destiny." "Natural Born Rocker." "Disi, your girlfriend's boyfriend and Maniac are up to something..." "In that case, we'll play our best hit..." "Microphone handling test" "Our two finalists are Psycho Squad" "and DeadRatt!" "When this farce is over, I'll have a band that will make me even richer." "You or them." "My swiss account doesn't give a fuck." "But I do." "I wanna crush that rat." "You tell that to Angie." "She's putting the audience against us." "She's your girlfriend, right?" "Control her!" "Fuck!" "You got the footnote?" "As I said, I wanna crush 'em." "Taking no risks." "Inga?" "Dudes, I just came to wish you luck." "What's up?" "Nuthin'..." "They can't wait to play..." " God, you're beautiful..." " What?" "Nuthin', nuthin'..." "Life is like it is..." "Sometimes things can't be clearer..." "Clearer?" "Yeah..." "Like this joint." "These joint is a "seven papers"." "You know why?" "'Cause it's done with seven papers." "You see, it's clear." "So?" "So... the World Recordman is a Dutch who made one with eleven papers." "And nobody has ever beaten him." "Sure." "That's why he's a World Recordman." " So, you got it, right?" " Sure I got it." "I'm gonna get a beer... 'Cause I'm about to pee in my pants..." "Kutcherfuckers..." "They got toys... and we ain't." "Yes..." "This the Final Destruction Test!" "We're finished." "We can't do better than that." ""What wild thing could these bands do we didn't do before?"" "Are you sure?" "The only things at stake are the Bell, our band... and the woman of my life." "Disi, Disi!" " Do something, fast!" " Calm down, I'm the doctor." "Fuckin' "A", when we seemed to be finished, we've equalized." "The Final Test is gonna be the Wild Jump." "And we're gonna win because jumping is Puke's speciality." "What are you doing, are you nuts?" "This see thru joints taste like nuthin'" "I'm leaving you, dudes." "I'm coming around." "Somebody has a real joint?" "Disi, dude..." "Isi, get the fuck outta here!" ""For Puke, from a horny big-titted fan"." "Oh, sweet Cookie of mine!" "Puke has been neutralized and Dementia is ready for action." "Can she jump?" "Jump?" "She's gonna fly..." "Like an ostrich." "Must feel lonely..." "Who, Dementia?" "No, your neuron." "Ostrich, ostrich!" "Psycho Squaaaaad!" "You won't break my ass, you fucking demons!" "Is he high or what?" "Nobody is gonna rape Puke!" "Come down, we won't hurt you!" "Your ass is ours!" "No, my ass is mine!" "Mine!" "Come here, honey, I'm gonna give you all of it!" "Not a little bit, a whole lot of it!" "Not me, not me!" "Puke, look what you're missing!" "No, muuuuuum!" "Start the engine, my ass is mine!" "Dudes, the Psycho Squad did it." " How do you know?" " Female intuition..." "This Clooneyfuckers fucked us." "Puke is so high he won't be able to jump." "There's only one person in the world who can help us..." "So I'm aware of." "Booze, it's Disi." "It's an emergency." "Disi, I'm busy right now." "It's Puke, he's high..." "Higher than ever..." "I'll be there the moment you say "fine"." "Fine!" "I'm here, Disi." "Yo, Booze, cool!" "Two things you need to know about Booze:" "Before retirement he was a nurse..." "And before that he was a hippy." "And experienced with every drug..." "That's why I admire him." "Because he's cultivated!" "Puke is high on LSD, peyote and toxic mushroom." "It's a miracle he's survived." "But don't worry:" "He'll be fine in six or seven... months." "No fucking way." "We need a solution in six or seven minutes!" "Are you willing to risk lives?" "Our lives?" "No, Puke's life." "Oh, then no problem!" "This is mutant adrenalin." "It will neutralize the drugs but secondary effects worry me." "What secondary effects?" "DeadRatt, showtime!" "You killed him!" "You broke his ass and killed him!" "They are here." "Where the hell were you?" "No, no, not my ass..." "Cookie, stab him!" "Go Uma Thurman on him!" "Jump, dude, jump!" " Your joint, Isi..." " Cool." " Your beer..." " Doublecool." "ONE MONTH LATER" "Cookie!" "Well, this is no dream." "DeadRatt won the contest and we're stars at last." "And we've been on TV..." "At the wildest TV show in the world!" "So... you're supposed to be the wildest rockers, aren't you?" "Not when I see a hot chick like you..." "Then I'm more like a kitty..." "Uncastrated..." " I start purring and..." " Behave, we're on air." " You aren't making a joint, are you?" " Sure." " Come on, man..." " Be patient, wait for your turn!" " She can't fucking wait, man!" " Fucking junkie!" "But..." "Try this shit, pussy..." ""I'm running over oldladies with my motorcycle..." "I'm having the time of my life..."" "Between parties, we've recorded our first song with all artistic freedom." "And Berdun loves us!" "What's the title of this shit?" ""Running over oldladies with my motorcycle"." "They say it's a tribute to the elders." "I don't give a fuck, this shit isn't sellable." "I need sellable shit." "They won't listen." "They're very united "slash" close." "Motherfuckin' "A", we nailed it in one take!" " Well, we crucified it..." " Let's do another take..." "Disi, don't break my balls." "Why working twice?" "They aren't as close as they think..." "Berdun!" "What about an orgy to celebrate?" "Isi is the leader." "We'll keep him." "I wanna know his weaknesses..." "Look what I've found in the toilet!" ""Cookie:" "I wanna give birth!"" ""Hell's Bell set the standard!" ""Ruin your diet with Puke"" "He's gorgeous!" "Oh my God!" "What's going on here?" "Well, is this grandmotherfuckin' "A" or what?" "Sex, drugs and rock and roll!" "You called this rock and roll?" "What's with you, Disi?" "Since when elevator music is rock and roll to you?" "Isi, there is something I want you to see..." "Berdun, make no mistakes with me, right?" "Holy shit..." "These are the clothes worn by Bon Scott when he died drowned in his own puke..." "Bon Scott's last puke!" "And just the puke is worth more than 100.000 euros..." "Thanks, Berdun..." "Thanks, dude..." "Isi, you're a winner." "You won the contest, saved the bell." " We gotta think what to do next..." " A rock record so fucking wild that the AC/DC will name an Australian street after us..." ""DeadRatt Street"!" " Sound cool or what?" " Yes, but with what songs?" "If Disi needs six years per song, we'll need..." " Sixty years for ten songs..." " You're right..." "I dunno how to keep your fame for so long..." "I'm talking about a record that makes you millionaire... in a month." "Berdun will produce DeadRatt's record, alright..." "But it will be his not yours." " I don't think it'll be rock!" " No fucking way!" "He knows he has to squeeze you now!" "And if he has to lie, deceive or break the band, he will." "No grandmotherfucking way!" "It happened to me." " I dunno..." "I'm not sure..." " You know you're sure!" "But what about my band?" "You are your band!" "If they don't like it tell'em to go fuck themselves!" "Dude, they are my dudes..." "But they're keeping you down..." "With them, you'll never be a star!" "Let's do rock for everyone!" "Easylistening!" "What?" "Rock is supposed to be hard to listen!" "Rock was made up to break the rules of a repressive society." "Wasn't it?" "Isi, you have two choices:" "Being a star or selling cockles... like your father." "You have within your grasp what your dad could only dream..." "Take it." "He'll be proud of you at last." "He deceived me!" "He produced my record..." "It sold a lot, but it was shit!" "Why don't get your band together and tell Berdun to fuck off?" " Because I'm afraid!" " Afraid of what?" "Of being broken again and losing everything I got for an impossible dream!" " But you're Angie!" " No..." "I was Angie once." "This sucks or what?" "I'm gonna find Isi..." "Isi, where the fuck are you?" "Disi, dude..." "You gotta be open-minded..." "These are the new trends..." "You know, Disi..." "This is DeadRatt's new look..." "But we got a less agressive name for you, full of hope:" ""Ratt in a coma"!" "Ain't it wild?" "Why, my Lord, why?" " You betrayed us, dude!" " Yeah, right!" "If you wanna be losers forever, no problem!" " But don't fuck with my career!" " Your career?" "Take a look at yourself!" "You look like the Bearded Spice Girl!" "No, no..." "You look like fucking Princess Isi!" " What did you call me?" " You are a fucking traitor!" "What is Disi doing?" "What I'd do if I had the courage..." "If you had the courage, you wouldn't have anything else." " Go fuck yourself..." " Stay real, dudes!" "And have a nice shitty life!" ""ANOTHER MONTH LATER"" "I'm the carpenter..." "I gotta a lot to nail here, right?" " Right, get your hammer ready..." " The biggest one..." "The..." "The bill..." "The bill is gonna..." "Sorry, Celia, I forgot the line." "Cut! "The bill's gonna grow, baby!"." "It's the same fucking sentence for the whole trilogy." "The plumber said it, the carpenter says it and the milkman will." "By the way, what about your milk?" "Why do you ejaculate so poorly?" " Don't be so tough..." " Can't you see he's in love?" "You used to be the best, Disi..." "But you lost your magic." "Go back to rock." "That's your thing." "Back to rock..." "How could I?" "I ain't got a band!" "Puke is working at a summer camp." "And I envy him..." "I miss children's inocence so much..." "You gonna burn, fucker!" "Speaking of children, Cookie is serious about being a mother..." "That's why she picks other joints to party..." "BANK OF SPERM "THE WHITE HOPE"" "No!" "Softcore, not hardcore!" "Like your pals!" "Isi, what the hell are you thinking of?" "Hordes of barbarians fighting to death..." "No!" "Think..." "think of a beach!" "Normandy!" "D-Day!" "A fucking bloodbath!" "No!" "That's not it!" "Think of the Little House on the Prairie..." "It's burning!" "And the Ingalls are in, screaming!" "Nobody follows me, I'm gonna kill myself." "That asshole can't get the essence of my band." "But the musicians aren't better..." "They are not at my level." " Nobody is at your level, Isi." " That's right." "But what about the songs?" "They have been made by my best composers..." "But what about the title of the first single:" ""You and I are two"?" "That's not rock to me!" "If the title was "You and I are two motherfuckers"..." "Isi, you're about to become a God of Rock." "And you're nervous, but that's cool." "Ozzy Osbourne felt the same way when he left Black Sabbath." "Ozzy?" "What a sell out..." "Berdun, the car is ready..." "Isi, it's your band." "You're the boss." "But you're under a lot of pressure..." "Relax, man!" "You're right, relax is important..." "I'm gonna "relax" their brains out..." "Manuela, deduct hookers' wages from Isi's." "Good idea." "We are spending too much on this asshole." "Maybe this asshole can help us finance all this..." " See you, Julio!" " Bye, Disi!" "Call me stupid if you want, but I'm sure Isi is about to return." "And we will be friends again, DeadRatt will triumph and..." "Dude, I'm talking to you!" "Dammit, this show is today!" "Fucking money..." "Well, I'll always have the Bell..." "I'll call you back." "Hi!" "Nice day, huh?" "Closing the Bell?" "No, what makes you say that?" "I dunno..." "Ah, you're not closing it..." "You're pulling it down." "The world needs a lot of parking spaces." "Yeah, but you know this is Isi's, right?" "Yes, but Isi's properties are under Mister Berdun's control." "And does Isi know you're gonna pull the Bell down?" "As I told you, Mister Berdun controls..." "Isi doesn't know it, huh?" "Look, if you got a problem with this talk to Isi's lawyer..." "Wait a minute, that's me!" "Well, there's nothing to talk about." "I need the contractor's signature." "And if he doesn't sign?" "Then we can't pull this down..." "If you don't mind..." "You got something to scream about?" "My wrist!" "You mind, dude?" "Fuck this shit!" "Isi must know this." "How am I getting into Berdun's bunker?" "Don't worry, I got a brilliant plan..." " Yes?" " You ordered a pizza?" "Disi?" "How do you know?" "I'm Angie." "I got you on camera." "Get in, quietly!" ""You and I, uh, uh, uh..."" ""I and you, uh, uh, uh..."" ""Both of us, uh, uh, uh..."" ""Are the two of us"." "Sounds good." " Berdun will kill you!" " Who's gonna tell him?" "What are you doing here?" "I was telling Angie..." "I wanna be part of Ratt in a Coma." "I don't believe you." "OK..." "I'm in love with Angie." "Bodyguards "slash" wardens "slash" bouncers!" "So you know, I loved "Brokeback Mountain"." " Where's Isi?" " What did you say?" " I loved "Brokeback Mountain"." " You said you're in love with me." "I had to say something..." "Manuela, make me happy." "Tonight we're recording Isi's concert... 30000 official copies will be made in a week..." "And in stores in ten days." "The official ones..." "What about the others?" "The others will be in the black market... tomorrow." "Great." "And they say the record industry is in crisis..." "Mister Berdun, we got a problem." "A big fat one." " Disi, what are you doing here?" " And you?" "With all these shitheads?" " This shitheads are my new band." " Fuck you, bitch!" "Shut the fuck up!" "Is it important?" "Well, maybe..." "There's a demolition crane in front of the Bell." " Why?" " Because it looks pretty..." "Cuz they're pulling the Bell down!" " No!" " Yes!" " Who?" " Some motherfucking scumbag that..." "Hey, I was talking about you a second ago..." "Inga, get him out." "Let me go!" "Don't forget you're a rocker!" "Like your dad!" "Natural Born Rocker!" "That happened by chance!" "He become a rocker due to a lightning!" "If he finds out, he'll crawl up from hell and kick the shit out of you!" "And you know he will!" "Isi, you're a rocker, you'll always be!" "It's your destiny!" "Isi, are you OK?" "Yeah, I am now." "Wild!" "Let Disi go!" "Isi, open you eyes..." "Open your eyes, goddammit!" "I'm a rocker!" "Are we in hell?" "You wish." "Angie, I'm very worried about us." "I'm not sure I can trust you." "It must be because you let Disi in my home." "Or becuase you laughed when Isi kicked my ass." "But I believe in us." "That's why I want you to prove your love to me." "Either you do what I tell you..." "or I kill Isi and Disi." "Isi has to play at the concert." "No, he won't." "Ratt in a Coma are gonna play without him." "And you'll introduce them..." "or I swear on Christ I'll kill them." "It'll be a great business:" "Dead musicians sell more." "I can't believe you're such a bastard." "No?" "I'm Alvaro Berdun." "I'm a billionaire." "You know how I became one?" "Being a bastard." "I steal from musicians..." "Cheat on the audience..." "Blackmail politicians..." "Ah, I'm who controls black market." "Hell, I even like "American Idol"!" "Do you think I can't kill in cold blood?" "My sweet Angie, why do insist on thinking?" "Why can't you be like Inga?" "A fucking retard." "You're mine." "Either you get it or I'm getting it into you." "Fine, I'll do it..." "But don't hurt them, right?" "Clever girl." "Inga, take her to the concert." "Angie..." "Don't forget I love you." "I've just told Angie that I'll kill you if she doesn't obey me..." "But relax, I've lied to her." "It's Carvajal who'll kill you." "After all, he's my lawyer." "First, he'll shoot you a tranquilizer dart and after he'll inject an overdose of heroin." "Great news, huh?" "You're about to die like true rock stars!" "Time for questions." "Would you please suck my dick?" "I've just split up with my girlfriend and I have a new proposal." "Disi?" "Before I die, I'd like to smoke a joint..." "If it's not a problem to you, grandmotherfucker." "One last thing, Disi..." "Your death is going to be a shock for Angie." "And she is gonna kill herself after the concert." "It's a pity." "You don't know how well she fucks." "As they say in times like this, see you in hell." "They won't let you in, douchebag." "Dude, I don't think you'll pass through." "That green button opens the damned gates..." "If this was an american movie" "I'd have a special gift that the bad guys ignore that would get us out of here." "Disi, what if we go on with your plan?" " What plan?" " Smoking a joint before we die." "What is this shit doing here?" "It was parked outside." "Anybody could see it." "Good idea." "After you kill them, put them in their van and leave them in any wasteground." "This is impossible!" "The world record is eleven papers!" " And nobody's beaten it!" " Come on, you're a champ!" "You learned to say "joint" before "mum" or "dad"!" "To get the green button, you need fifteen papers!" "Fifteen!" "That's against the laws of physics!" "Disi, you've spent your whole life getting ready for this moment." "Gimme another paper!" "Come on, Isi, it's falling apart!" "Aim right." "Man!" "It will only hold one hit!" "Now!" "Yo, you wanna smoke, dude?" "Do we save your girl or what?" " Dressed like fucking Bon Jovi?" " No, like fucking Bon Scott." "Dude, how can we open this shit up?" "Go to see what happens..." "Dude, make up your mind!" " Dude, the gates are closed!" " Get in the van, dude!" " What's the plan?" " Taking a run-up." "A run-up for what?" " Fasten your seatbelt..." " There's no seatbelt!" "Good plan, dude!" "I hope you got another to get in the concert." "There's gonna be plenty of bouncers in there!" "Don't worry." "It's time to wake up the beast." "There are two things you need to know about uncle Poli..." "One, he's a real deep sleeper and two, his entry-phone is fucked since 1975." "Disi, I think throwing stones won't wake him up." "Son of a bitch!" "You won't take me alive!" "Yes?" "Cookie, do you know where Puke could be?" "Yes, he must be around." "Fuckin "A"!" "'Cause we got one helluva gig..." "You want me to announce that Isi and Disi are dead?" "You son of a bitch!" "You're gonna kill 'em anyway!" "I'm not gonna kill them." "They must be already dead." "If you miss them that much, I'll make sure you join them ASAP." "Don't let her out." "Carvajal will take care of her." "Inga, there's something you need to listen." "What happens next it's up to you." ""Why can't you be like Inga?" "A fucking retard."" "Uncle Poli, as a police officer, you can confiscate any vehicle, right?" "Well..." "What kind of vehicle?" "DeadRatt!" "My friends, I'm Alvaro Berdun." "I created Ratt in a Coma..." "And I got very sad news for you..." "Isi and Disi are dead." "Damned drugs took them away!" "Let's keep a minute of silence in their memory." "Banzai!" "Sorry, we couldn't find any tickets!" "DeadRatt!" "DeadRatt!" "DeadRatt!" "Security!" "Stop those terrorists!" "You're gonna suck my!" "Bitch!" "Freeze, motherfucker!" "What are you doing?" "Arrest them?" "Do you know who I am?" ""I'm Alvaro Berdun." "I'm a billionaire."" ""You know how I became one?" "Being a bastard."" ""I stole from musicians..." "Cheat on the audience..."" ""Blackmail politicians..." "Ah, I'm who controls black market."" ""Hell, I even like"American Idol"!"" "That's what happens when you are honest..." "Puke, I'm very worried..." "How will we name the baby if it's a boy?" "I dunno..." "Anti-Christ?" "And if it's a girl?" "Anti-Christine?" "Chill, you're gonna be a motherfuckin' "A" mother!" "You're the meanest and bitchest chick I've ever found in my life!" "Will you marry me?" ""Do you fuck well?"" "Disi, let's play your song!" "Now or never!" "No, no, it ain't ready yet!" "It needs something..." "And it's one hell of a something..." "One, two, three, four..." "Tight trousers, black T-shirt, leather jacket, long haired..." "No bartender in town will let us drink no more..." "Stealing beers at the gas station, try not to blow away the place with your joint." "We drive the van like hell, smell like hell..." "After all, we're going straight to hell." "Who gives a fuck?" "If we destroy churches..." "Who gives a fuck?" "If we're the wildest band..." "Who gives a fuck?" "If we run over old ladies..." "You wanna know how tough we are?" "We are fucking motherfucking tough." "No motherfucker can mess with us..." "We are fucking motherfucking tough." "But we got a fucking heart of gold." "What is it?" "Don't you like to party?" "Dance!" "Scream!" "But we got a fucking heart of gold." "Don't you go all Spice Girl on me..." "Hit me with a lightning and AC/DC me!" "Who gives a fuck?" "This is no american movie!" "Who gives a fuck?" "But we wanna sell the rights for a remake!" "Who gives a fuck?" "The guy next to me will be played by Brad Pitt!" "And this chick will be Angelina Jolie!" "We are fucking motherfucking tough." "No motherfucker can mess with us..." "We are fucking motherfucking tough... but we got a fucking heart of gold." "We are fucking motherfucking tough..." " No motherfucker - can mess with us..." "We are fucking motherfucking tough..." "We are fucking motherfucking tough..." " Dude" " Whoa!" "HIGH VOLTAGE"