"Firstly, the star of a series I rarely caught a glimpse of... because it's usually over by the time I get home from work on a Monday." "But it's achieved a somewhat unique double" "It's popular with the public and the critics." "It's called "'Allo 'Allo!" "A tale of the French resistance."" "And its hero is a café owner called "Ree-nee"-- or Rene-- who talks and acts like this." "You are probably wondering what I am doing in the larder of my café sitting next to the brie." "Well, I will tell you." "I am very fond of brie." "Also, my wife Edith is a very jealous woman, and this is the only place I can meet Maria." "Now Maria" " Maria is in love with me." "So whenever I can, I meet her here for a short cuddle and a little nibble at the brie." "So please welcome Gorden Kaye!" "(AUDIENCE APPLAUSE)" "Before we start, I brought you a present." " Oh!" " I hope you don't mind." "This is a way of ingratiating myself." "Not at all, ingratiate away, Gorden." "It's a sweatshirt from the show." "As you see, it says," "(FRENCH ACCENT) "Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once."" " There you are." " (HOST CHUCKLES)" "It's all right, it's extra large." "I think the French resistance is striking back." "That's really nice." "Thank you, Gorden." "How very thoughtful." "I do miss most of the show." "That's one of the catchphrases," ""Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once."" "It's the resistance girl who says that" " Michelle from the resistance." "What other catchphrases have you managed to have, apart from "'Allo 'Allo!"?" "That's about it." "One is good enough one in every series." "Bruce Forsythe made a career out of one." ""Give us a 12!" now..." "Why do you think this "'Allo 'Allo!" thing is a success?" "I think basically because it's funny." "If you like laughing..." " A good reason for a show to be successful." " It's well written." "David Croft has been writing for the delight of the public for 20-25 years with "Dad's Army" and "It Ain't Half Hot, Mum,"" ""Hi-de-hi" and things like that." "He picks people to do the job." "And he writes a good show." "And he never writes about two girls and a man living in a flat together." " Not that there is anything wrong with that." " Nothing wrong with that." "He writes about a group of people in a very solid situation, and then the fun and the laughter come out of that." "But you got a bit of criticism at the beginning," " because some people said it really was-- - (SPECTATOR SNEEZES)" " Bless you!" " (AUDIENCE LAUGHTER)" "(APPLAUSE)" "This show is becoming better known for its extraneous noises than for the guests we have." "Friday, the roof nearly came in with the rain." "It's been criticized-- at the beginning, not now-- for being a bit tasteless." "Before people got used to it." "They thought, "The French resistance were a brave group of people."" "Yes, indeed." "There's no simple answer to that." "Whatever I say, people aren't going to say, "That's it!" "Yes, I like it!"" "If they don't like it there is not a lot we can do about it." "We definitely are not trying to make fun of the French resistance or the brave people who worked in it." "It's more of a send-up of shows like "Secret Army,"" "and "Stiff Upper Lip."" "Everybody gets pounded equally." "The French are cunning, cowardly and silly." "The English are silly asses and the Germans are fools, so everybody gets tarred with the same" "You don't think it paints nazis too kindly?" "They're endearing" "They're endearing, they're idiots, and there are a few bad ones." ""The Secret Army"-- when I've watched it, it reminded me of that because you've got a singing wife as well, haven't you?" "That's right." " Only the one in "The Secret Army" could sing." " She could sing, yes." "My dear wife can't, unfortunately." "She's totally tone-deaf, she has to burst into song." " Don't they put cheese in their ears when she sings?" " Yes indeed, yes." "Cheese seems to run through the whole series, doesn't it?" "Brie seems to be there all the time." "It's what the French are famous for-- amongst other things." "Now, I understand that you've been shot, I mean" "It's "Krystle Carrington," Diahann Carroll" "I've had to check them all for bullet wounds." "And you've been shot by a firing squad." "Sort of." "I was executed by a German firing squad but they used dummy bullets, so I-- but the Germans think that I've been shot, so now I have to pretend to be my own twin brother, which is a bit complicated." "You don't think it's going to get too complicated for the public?" "We've just finished a second series of seven stories and it gets more complicated." "I couldn't begin to tell you." "You will be pleased to hear the painting of the Fallen Madonna with big boobies still" " Oh good!" " It features quite heavily." " That's good, yes." " To coin a phrase." "Another inoffensive little item on the show." "Tell me about yourself as a sex symbol." "You have the wife, the mother-in-law creating furore, yet you're carrying on with lovely ladies." "Waitresses, yes." "I don't know what they see in me, quite frankly, but they seem to like me." "I don't know what it is." "You can only use your imagination, I suppose." "(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)" "This being a family show, I'll hold the imagination until later, Gorden." "No chance of you being the next James Bond?" " I'm going for that." " Yes, I heard about that." "Your own name, let me ask you about." " It's "G-o-r-d-e-n."" " That's right, yes." "That's a strange one." "Well, that was very odd." "I applied to join equity in 1968," "I wrote off, sent my money and said I wanted to become a member." "They wrote back and they addressed the envelope to "Gorden Kaye."" "You think, "Who's working there?" "Whoever spelled "Gordon" like that?"" "Anyway, before I could write back and tell them," "I was taken to hospital with a kidney stone or something." "when I regained consciousness, on the head of the bed was "Gorden Kaye," within six days." "I thought this was something of an omen-- or even an o-man." " So you're stuck with it?" " Yes, sorry about that." "The next role that you have, that's also set in World War II." " You're a Norwegian!" " Yes, I'm a Norwegian." "You specialize in the old accents." "I don't know about specializing." "I just get strange parts." " How are you going to do a Norwegian?" " I don't think I can." " It's all sort of "ya-doodle- doodle--" - (MIMICKING NORWEGIAN)" "Unfortunately I have to speak English words amongst all that." "Yes, and as a character actor, that's how you started." "Yes, yes" "Stardom has come relatively late to you." "Yeah, if you-- Yes, well" " It's stardom." " Is that what it is?" "Of course it is." "Even with an "e" in the "Gorden."" " It's stardom." " "E"s all the way." "Well yes, it's very useful being a character actor because you rarely stop work." "There's always something you can do." "I've done all sorts of things." "I've played "dame"" "at Stratford East, a couple of years ago." "She was from Edinburgh, and that was" "But you grow into the accent, you'll go to Norway and listen?" "Yes, I'm going to Norway on Saturday and do it on Sunday, so... (LAUGHTER)" "Whatever you do, we wish you luck." "Thank you for joining us." " GORDEN:" "My pleasure." " (AUDIENCE APPLAUSE)"