"What?" "It was really just work?" "You've gotta be kidding." "I'M..." "I'm just saying, you were out late, you didn't answer your phone... you didn't call." "We've had this conversation every day for a week." "I had to go back to the office for work." "I'm sorry." "I should've called." "What?" "I do this for a living, addison." "I read people." "What aren't you telling me?" "I am telling you... everything." "Take your clothes off." "you look great." "You got a date tonight?" "no, not a-- last night?" "Not a date.Just,met a colleague." "a male colleague, handsome male colleague?" "Well, tell me yours,I'll tell you mine." "There's a yours?" "You have a guy?" "I was joking." "Did you or did you not sleep with wyatt lockhart?" "We... have a mom in labor waiting." "I have to go scrub in." "okay, you're doing great, judy." "Just keep breathing.Okay?" "okay, okay, okay." "She's fully dilated.Contractions every two minutes." "Where--where are matt and carrie?" "'Cause this is their baby.They need to be here." "Just keep breathing, okay?" "promise me that they'll take the baby away as soon as it's out," "because I don't think I can look at him and then and then let go." "I know." "I know.I know." "I really want the sinclairs to he him." "okay, okay." "Get down there." "Okay.Okay." "Get ready to start pushing, okay?" "K thangod." "We ran out of the house without the video camera." "I can't believe this is finally happening." "Okay, judy.Here we go." "Ready?" "Big push." "okay, I can see the head." "Okay." "I-I think it'S... what--what--what's wrong?" "Dell, press on her stomach." "What's wrong?" "okay, judy, your baby's shoulder is stuck on your pubic bone.He's in distress." "I'm gonna have to insert my hand and push the baby back in." "You want to put it back inside of me?" "Judy, the baby's oxygen supply is compromised, okay?" "So we're gonna get you to the hospital and I'm gonna do a c-section." "naomi, naomi--everything is gonna be fine." "We're gonna take care of everything." "Okay, you ready?" "you're goa be fine, okay?" "Okay." "here we go." "Private Pratice Season 2 Episode 13" "things feel... as if they'rdifferent this time." "I feel like we're different." "I feel so... good." "You feel it?" "Feeling it." "Let's get married." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Oh, yeah." "I'm the groom." "You are the--the naughty, naughty... maid of honor-- cooper." "You're serious?" "you ow what I was thinking?" "We need to heed our own advice." "Take a mental health day, forget about our clients for a while and live for us." "not that this isn't living for us." "I mean, this is-- this is great." "I mean, I'm not just talking about the sex." "Although that is excellent." "did I mention I tend to ramble when I'm nervous?" "Which I am right now, a little, because you're making odd noises." "violet?" "Everything okay?" "I'm fine." "I've never been better." "okay, judy." "Here we go." "there we are." "Oh, vicryl, close her up." "What's wrong?" "The baby's having trouble breathing." "Judy, it's most likely a diaphragmatic hernia." "It's a birth defect in the muscle that causes the chest to separate from the abdomen." "No, no, no." "There are some choices that you have to make for surgery." "You have options." "No, I'm not the mother anymore." "You--you need--you need to talk to the sinclairs." "Okay, listen, until the adoption is finalized, you're still the legal guardian." "No, no." "It has to be the sinclairs." "don't you want to know what's wrong with me?" "Don't you want to know what's wrong with me?" "Hey, coop, have you seen-- oh, I'm sorry." "I didn't" " I didn't know-- oh, no." "It's--it's okay." "I actually wanted to talk to you." "Oh, right." "That's my cue." "we have much to discuss, you and I.All right." "It's been weird between us.It's beetwo weeks of weird." "You're dating sheldon." "You made a choice." "I'm an adult." "Good." "Yeah, I just" " I just don't want it to be weird... between us." "I mean, not now." "I mean... good." "Good." "Giving you any relief?" "Could you turn whatever you're doing up?" "My... gut's on fire." "You got it." "I wish I could do more." "You've done wonders." "Do you know how boring radiology is?" "Looking at films all day?" "N't start." "I know you.You were great." "I did it because it was easy-- a good doctorial profession for a man who liked to sleep in and party." "Well, maybe you got it right-- living in the moment." "My even more handsome doctor." "And who ever thought that was possible?" "you've got the serious face, sam." "How much time do I have, doctor?" "The chemo hasn't helped." "There's been no change." "I know the drill." "The cancer attacks my liver, my liver fails, painful death-- three or four weeks, give or take." "I'm sorry." "I'll do whatever I can to help the pain." "I'll come to your house." "We'll do whatever we need to do to help." "That's good." "That's very good, because I'm gonna need your help." "I want you to help me die." "but the baby's supposed to be healthy." "He was born with a diaphragmatic hernia." "The organs below the diaphragm are pushing into his thoracic cavity, and he's having a hard time breathing." "I-I know this is a lot, but addison needs to do the surgery quickly to help the baby to breathe." "Now there are two surgical options." "The first is relatively simple and will correct the problem for now, but as the baby grows, he'll require more surgery." "And the second is hier risk, but it will be a more permanent solution." "I can't believe this is happening." "What--what does judy want to do?" "well, she wants you to decide." "The adoption isn't even final." "Which is why I'm here." "Since the birth mother is abdicating her right to decide, the hospital will honor your wishes about what to do, but we need a decision now." "I-I don't know." "Well, what I would recommend is the more aggressive approach." "But he could die?" "Yes." "I can't--I can't do this." "No, no, you can." "Just trust dr.Montgomery." "I'm sorry." "I can'T." "I'm sorry." "Hi, nora." "I made it." "You made it." "You're doing great, mom." "Let's go back." "She's losing it." "It took both of us to get her out the front door." "Well, agoraphobia's tough." "She's--she's been entrenched for a long time." "I've heard that for years." "I heard that when she missed my violin recitals, my school plays, my graduation." "I'm getting married tomorrow." "I want my moer there." "Please." "You have to make sure she doesn't back out." "I'm--I'm so sorry." "there's an emergency." "N-nora, I-I have to go to the hospital." "But I can be back in-- in less than an hour." "It's okay.I'll go." "N-no.No, no, no.No." "This could be good." "It's an exercise, 'cause you're out in the world, but you're in here, safe, secure." "You can practice your breathing, your visualizations." "I can'T." "Mom, please." "You need to do this." "There are laws against assisted suicide." "There's no one coming after us, sam." "There's no family to consider." "There's just alexander, and he wants to die." "Who wants to die?" "Patient with pancreatic cancer." "Stage iv-b pancreatic cancer, and he's a doctor." "Well, if he's a doctor, he's gonna find a way." "He wants morphine." "Which we should give him." "that's kinda going out on the limb there, dr.Kevorkian." "Alexander has nothing left but the chance to control when and how the end comes." "This is--it's mercy, not murder." "Letting nature run its course is different than helping nature along." "So it doesn't matter how we try to rationalize it, there is no moral difference between writing him a prescription and buying him a gun." "I won't do it.The practice won't allow it." "The sinclairs-- they're probably not gonna go through with the adoption." "W-what?" "Because he's sick?" "Let's not worry about them right now." "He needs surgery." "And without your consent, the hospital won't allow dr.Montgomery to do what she thinks is best for him." "She told me before I had to choose." "I don't think I can choose and then let go." "I think you've been choosing what's besfor the baby all along." "He needs you, onlast time." "Paper's signed." "You're good to go." "Judy came through." "Yeah, for now." "I'm still hoping that the sinclairs will come through." "They walked in a crisis." "Would you want that for your kid?" "Maybe we should talk about something else." "Like who you're dating?" "The colleague you refuse to tell me about?" "Well, you're one to talk." "What about wyatt?" "Why is everyone so stuck on what did or didn't happen with wyatt?" "Well, who else is stuck on it?" "You didn't tell kevin?" "No.There's nothing to tell.It didn't happen.I didn't cheat.I didn't go out on the date." "I just went into his office and kissed him." "Pardon me?" "And then I walked out." "So technically, it wasn't cheating." "Technically, you walked into his office and you kissed him and-- and stopped and I left, and I have not seen him since." "Kevin keeps asking where I was, and I keep telling him I was working and I divert him with sex." "But it was nothing." "Well, if it was nothing, then did you wait a week to tell me?" "baby's sats are falling." "Okay, take him off the vent and bag him." "I gotta go in now." "Nora, I'm so sorry." "I was just... nora?" "Have you seen your mother?" "She's not in your office?" "Maybe she's in the bathroom." "Nora... are you in there?" "Yes." "Do you want to come out?" "No." "Sorry." "it's open." "Peter." "Lovely to see you." "I'm treating myself to chocolate pudding-- my favorite." "I wanted to tell you in person." "We can't prescribe drugs to help you kill yourself." "I understand." "I wasn't counting on it." "You're still handling the pain, and you have time." "Not much, but time." "Get closure, say your good-byes, enjoy your last days." "Peter, I'm the last of my friends left alive." "I have no lover, no children, no one." "In the coming days, I'll either be in extraordinary pain or I'll be so high on drugs that I might as well be dead." "I don't believe those are last days I'd like to enjoy." "Well... u're enjoying sugar." "Oh, this isn't sugar." "It's a mixture." "16 alprazolam tablets from my bathroom, 12 dusty codeine tablets from the hall bathroom, a couple of muscle relaxants, some sleeping pills and a tiny bit of L.S.D.Leftover from a fabulous party in 1972." "Alexander-- no, don't bother." "It's okay." "I'm already seon mcond bowl." "I told you..." "I'm gonna die." "The baby's out of surgery." "Okay?" "It went well." "Addison was amazing." "So I thought you'd like to know dell..." "I can't stop thinking about him." "All I want to do is not think about the baby, and I can't stop." "Is it scary in there, in the nicu?" "There's someone talking to him, right?" "It's not-- it's not a scary place?" "I just--I have these terrible images of him all alone, and I can't stand it." "I can'T." "Do you want to see him?" "Oh, god." "You having pain?" "It's okay." "Except for drinking alone." "I know you're uncomfortable.You don't have to stay." "I do." "If I walk out the door, all I'll do is think about you, here, dying alone." "I lived alone." "You reap what you sow." "Sow carefully, my friend." "you don't want to end up tragic, like me." "It's small... contained... secure." "But... you're-- you're alone in there, nora." "I'm here with you.But i *** if you come out." "I can'T." "What are you afraid of?" "Everything." "I feel it in the-- the pit of my stomach." "It consumes me." "People look at me --all those people-- and I feel scared- - you're--you're letting it get big." "Let's break it down." "I can'T." "Don't you see that?" "I-I-I--I'm letting my daughter down, I'm letting everyone dn, and I-I feel so scared." "I mean, you've never felt this." "How can you know?" "I'm gonna break all the rules and I'm gonna tell you something about me." "I am more afraid than I've ever been in my life." "I'M... pregnant." "And that is... paralyzingly, terrifyingly scary for me." "But I... got up this morning and I came to the office because people needed me." "And that's good, to be needed, to--to help you." "And I'm using that to fight back my fear." "Motherhood is great." "That's nothing to be afraid of." "my daughter is the best part of my life." "Then shouldn't you be at her wedding?" "Well done." "I freaked out." "I couldn't think." "I didn't know what to do." "We made a mistake, but we're here now." "We want to adopt him." "We've always wanted to adopt him." "No." "No." "Judy, we screwed up." "We know what you must think." "That you want him now, when he's fixed?" "It's not like that, judy." "You made me want to give him to you." "I thought you were the answer, and then when I needed you, when--when he needed you... judy..." "I'm keeping my by." "I'm keeping my son." "Can you tell me if dr.Wyatt lockhart is working tonight?" "You are still here." "Where else would I be when I say that I'm working?" "You know what people with a guilty conscience do when faced with having to lie?" "They ask a question back at you." "Look..." "I'm not." "I'm kid" " I'm kidding, addison." "No, you're not." "What do you want to hear, kevin?" "What do you want me to say that's gonna make you feel better?" "I have to go check on the baby." "Alexander?" "Pete?" "you never came back, and you, uh, you didn't answer your phone." "No, I didn'T." "Pete's just keeping me company." "He's charon, guiding me down the river styx." "And he didn't give me the prescription." "Edi us alternative methods." "Wait, so... are you saying-- he made a choice." "I'm calling 9-1-1." "He doesn't want the hospital, sam." "This is a crime." "This is a man's life." "This is death." "He's doing this his way." "Sam, do you really want to put him through hell, pump his stomach, only to put him through hell in a few days or a week?" "I'm not gonna sit here and let you-- here, here." "This doesn'T... it doesn't have to be this way." "You can go, sam." "just don't call anyone." "Don't take it upon yourself to try to fix something that can't be fixed." "let's do it, charlotte." "It's gonna boh- , it's gonna be great-- the cuyahoga county freedmans meet the kings from monroeville." "And we can do it, like, halfway in between." "How do you feel about n-n-nashville?" "I want to marry you." "Tomorrow in**" "Tomorrow?" "my mother, she's - families complicate things." "Family is messy." "Let's do this." "Marry me, cooper freedman." "what--what's wrong?" "What do you need?" "What can I get you?" "What can I get you?" "It's just the pain." "It comes and goes in waves." "Oh, now-- now it's going." "I hate seeing you like this." "It's not my favorite thing, either." "It's not like I want to die." "If I could live... like I lived when I lived... and I lived, let me tell you." "I thought once I might fall in love." "I had lots of sex." "I guess I was just far too good-looking for my own good." "You and naomi split." "You got a girlfriend now?" "kinda." "You like her?" "A lot." "How's the sex?" "I'm a dying man.Indulge me." "we actually-- we haven't reached that level yet." "taking it slow." "I suppose that's the way you find love." "Just don't end up like me, sam." "It's not that good to die alone." "M gonna go for aalk." "we brought some things for the baby." "She's not changing her mind." "Dell." "No, it's--it's all right." "He has every right to be angry." "They weren't to change judy's mind." "They were things we bought that we wanted him to have." "He should still have them." "Well, we'll pass 'em on." "For what it's worth, we know how badly we screwed up." "After the miscarriages and the adoptions that fell apart, we felt like we lost those babies." "The thought of this baby... we were raid of not having him." "And now we don't have him." "We've lost another child... and it's our own fault." "Tina." "She won't get out of the car." "I can't get married without her there." "I won'T." "Please." "Don't worry." "She's gonna be there." "Just go." "So you got here." "That's a huge step." "It's not enough." "I'm a failure." "I used to think I was a good mother." "Now she'd be better off without me." "judy." "Did... did dell tell you that the sinclairs came by with some things for the baby?" "Yeah, but they bailed, so there's no more-- dell, can I talk to you for a minute, please?" "Excuse us." "You're pushing judy to do what you think is right." "It is right." "You need to listen." "If you'd listened, you would've heard how scared the sinclairs were." "No, I heard." "No, dell, you walked out." "Can't you see she's terrified?" "Listen to her, dell." "Isn't that what she's been telling you all along?" "You don't think I should keep him?" "that's not mine to say." "If you know that this is right, keeping the baby, then it is." "It's right, period." "You just need to make sure that you're doing it for the right reasons, judy." "Not because you think you have to or because you think that others think you should, because you want to." "When my husband walked out..." "I couldn't believe it." "I kept thinking that he was going to come home." "I wouldn't leave the house in case he came back." "I had to be there." "So you got stuck, because in some ways, you couldn't let go of that idea, that he'd walk through that door." "I'd kill him if he did." "He did this me." "No, he didn'T." "You're doing this to yourself-- punishing yourself or depriving yourself." "He went out and got a life." "And your daughter's doing the same thing today." "And I know how hard it must be for you that she's walking out, too." "But sitting in this car doesn't change the fact that she is getting married." "So you want to become a part of it or stay alone?" "So...maybe your life didn't turn out the way you thought it would." "You can embrace this." "Create the next step, starting today." "Why are you afraid of being pregnant?" "I am... afraid that I'll fail." "I'm afraid... that I'm not good enough." "I'm just afraid." "But I'm not gonna let that paralyze me." "Help me." "Help me do this." "How do I do this?" "You were gone for a while." "Pete... it'll take away the pain." "You stole morphine so you could euthanize a patient?" "I'm a doctor, sam." "I'm supposed to help people manage pain, to beaillness, to stay healthy." "And I'm not doing any of that." "I need to help him." "We need to help him." "Pete and I are going to sit, and, we're gonna talk." "And it's possible that we won't pay attention to what you're doing." "I-is it enough?" "It's enough." "Better than a petite sirah, my dears." "L'chaim." "one step at a time." "Deep breaths." "people are staring." "They're staring at me." "They're wondering who's walking the mother of the bride down the aisle." "here we go.Here we go." "I did it." "S, you did." "No." "I mean her." "if I had missed this... you're going to be a very good mother." "I love you, honey." "I love you." "You're in the closet." "I'm seeing if it's any less scary in here." "I like it." "Me, too." "I'm getting 7rried." "Tonight." "I know, you think it's impulsive." "I think it's impulsive, too, but you know how-- you know how I feel about her." "just ignore me." "It'll pass." "me getting married is funny?" "Yeah." "I mean, no, no." "I mean, yeah, it is." "But no, that's-- it's just that I'M..." "I'm pregnant." "You're pregnant?" "and I don't know who the father is." "We're--we are two of the most emotionally stunted people I've ever known." "We've never made any progress in our personal lives." "We don't do personal growth." "And now here you are getting married, and I'm pregnant, and we're just growing all over the place." "Okay, breathe." "Just breathe." "Breathe, breathe." "let it out." "okay." "I love her, violet." "She's hurting and she doesn't want to hurt, and this will make it all go away." "A baby." "What do you want to do?" "I don't know." "Could we stay in the closet a little bit longer?" "Okay." "how's he doing?" "His respiration is slowing." "It shouldn't be long." "We're doing the right thing, sam." "No, no, not that." "It's... ***with sonya£¿ what if thin you gettin' serious about sonya?" "Well, any woman." "I mean, look at him." "He's all alone." "He's me." "He's me in, like, 40 or 50 years." "He's more me than you." "At lea you have an ex-wife, a child." "I have... nothing." "Peter." "Peter." "Peter." "Peter, something's wrong." "My--my body feels... heavy--heavy." "I don't think-- s-something's wrong." "It's not" " I know it's not right." "Nothing's wrong." "You're dying." "This is what it feels like to be dying..." "I don't like it." "It's... oh, I don't like it." "Make it stop." "Please make it stop." "Sam i have some narcan in my bag.-Make it stop." "It reverses the effects of morphine." "It's not too late." "Make it stop--stop." "Alexander, look at me." "Look at me." "Do you want to do this?" "Yes." "but I'M... you're scared." "So sreD." "I know... there's no one... all the people... all are on the other side." "They're all dead." "Even when I was taking care of my patients and watching them die," "I never--I never knew how it was to die-- to--to die alone." "It's okay.It's okay.It's okay." "The world is gonna spin without me." "No one will-- will remember I was here." "It's like..." "I was never here." "You were here." "You were here." "You were here." "You were here." "You were here." "You were here." "you were here." "'S okay." "You were here." "You were here." "You were here." "He's gone." "You were here." "You were here." "You were here." "He's gone." "You were here." "You were here." "Pete." "He's gone." "He was here." "he was." "just, just make sure he studies." "Schoolwork probably won't be his first priority." "He's got my nose, and... my dad and my brother have the same nose, and none of us were very good studiers, so you're gonna have to watch him." "Okay?" "Okay." "she's brave." "It's hard to do the right thing." "I let it go." "Am not going to ask anymore." "I'm sorry I kept asking." "I kissed another man." "Last friday." "I walked into his office and" " I knew it." "I wanted this to work, but... it's not working." "Because you kissed this other man." "No, because the kiss, the one hour y keep asking me about, is the one hour this past month that I haven't had a knot in my stomach." "it's a nice place, addison." "I hope you find someone who fits in." "thong or floss?" "You don't wantto marry me." "I wanto marry you... under a chuppah with you in a big white dress in front of everyone I know." "I can't do that." "Why t?" "Why not?" "Why don't you wantfamiany ly at our wedding?" "Why vegas?" "Why right now?" "Cause I can't go down an aisle without my father." "Satisfied?" "because big daddy is dead, and I won't go down an aisle without him." "so you want to marry me or not?" "You're grieving.You need time." "I don't need time." "Your wedding day should be the happiest day of your life-- our life." "And I want you beaming when you come down that aisle.That's how our marriage should begin." "oh, my god." "hi, sis." "How do you like my new office?"