" Got a little present for you." " Who is it?" "Sammy the Bull?" " Sammy the Knife." "I diced him up." " Did you clean him?" "Man!" "Come back for him this weekend." "Good luck." "Damn, Vince!" "Cheap, leaky bags." "You've looked better, Sammy." "Hey, baby, how are you doing?" "Can I ask you a question?" "Where the fuck have you been?" " I've been working." " Your ass is still working." "I'm just doing a favour for Vince." "Melvin, you can't do this for free." "There's a mortgage and my car note." "Did you see all these notices?" "Take care of your responsibilities instead of helping your co-workers." "You're down at least 25 grand." "25 grand?" " How did that happen?" " There's the mortgage ..." "My Jag ..." "And all the other expenses." " He's kind of cute." "Who is that?" " Sammy, one of Costanzo's crew." "That shit turns me off." "Vince will pick him up on Saturday." " You going out this weekend?" " Maybe." "Where's your fianc?" "e?" " Are you trying to clown me?" " I'm serious." "I've seen the light." "Check it out." "You're looking diesel, kid." "I work out six days a week." "You're telling me you never jerked your dick until last week?" " That's bullshit, man." " l ain't never needed to." " I've been fucking since I was ten." " l can relate to that." "Cisco ..." "Green clashes with my eyes." " Move, man, we're gonna be late." " Vinnie, you hear the news?" "This fool gave up fucking since he just discovered wringing his rag." " Is that true?" " Yeah, it's lower maintenance." "Mel is like me, man." "He's got two of the sweetest ..." "If anybody needs to make a switch to straight-jacking, it's Mel." "Them two chicken-heads are taking my man to the cleaners." "With the loot I've saved and the extra I'll clock this weekend,   l can pay off on that "Grande Pinoche" and sail around the world." "Damn Caribbean ..." "Mediterranean ..." " South Seas ..." " Sounds great, bro." "You need to get on that weekend job with me, Crunch and Grump." "I got that thing this weekend." "All right, gentlemen, synchronise." " You know the drill, baby." " Word is bond." "As agreed ..." "three blondes under 20 ..." "Midwestern ..." "Notattoos." " How much?" " 50,000 apiece." "Get ready in five, four, three ..." "... two,one..." "Five, four, three ..." "Go!" " l need back-up." " We got incoming out here." "We'll hold them back." "They're backing off." "With this bonus hit and what I clock this weekend, I can take a year off." " This is a bonus hit?" " 25 large for clipping the big man." " Non-dairy creamer?" " Yeah." "Are you ladies okay?" "I'm really sorry about the mess." " Time to get paid." " Yes, sir." " Take a piece of this." " That's what we're talking about." "Yeah, man!" "We fucked them up." "I want to pour milk on you and make you part of my complete breakfast." " Baby, you got a number for me?" " 911 ." "Fellas, quit wasting your time." "Yeah, we'd better go find Mel before he gets my bonus." " Cisco, I need back-up." " We'll hold them back for you." " Protect me, I'm paying you double." " l can't spend it if I'm dead." "Cisco, Vince, Crunch, we've got to get out of here." "Good work." "Good work." "Okay, Mel ..." "It looks to me like you owe me $25,000 in cash advances." "Your commission will cover that." "The good news is ..." "Here's your bonus." " Mel got the bonus?" " What?" " Vince, was that guy still alive?" " Extremely alive." " I'm the one who clipped him." " l think the guy was dead." "Sure, Mel, whatever you say." "I'm wrong and you're right." "I'm lying to cheat you out of your hard-earned bonus." "My bonus." "If you say you clipped him, who am I to say you didn't ..." "... oldfriend?" "You're an honest man, Mel." "Don't think I don't appreciate that." "I'll tell you what." "To show how much love I've got for you,   if anything were to ..." "... ifanythinghappenstome ,-  - you could take my boat." " Is that love or what?" " Yeah, I guess." "You getting lonely, baby?" "Daddy loves both of you." " Motherfucker ..." " What?" "Mel ... don'tyouwantin on this caper we planned tomorrow?" "That's moonlighting, man." "Paris will kill us for that." "You're too honest for your own good." " Wrong house again, asshole." " Sorry." " Melvin Smiley, please." " This is he." "Big Top Video." "You've had our copy of "King Kong Lives" for two weeks." "Return it immediately or we'll have you killed." " Hi, how are you doing?" " Fine." " Have you seen my King Kong tape?" " No, I haven't seen it." "Do you think my ass is still perky?" " As a matter of fact ..." " Go ahead, give it a squeeze." "Let me know what you think." "Is it still perky?" " Is it firm yet pliable?" " Like a teenager." " Is this turning you on?" " Like a light switch." " You know what we should do?" " No, what should we do?" "Invite Mom and Dad down." "Actually, they'll be here tomorrow." "We can all have dinner together." "This will be a great opportunity for you and my parents to bond." "This will be the right time to tell them we're engaged." " You haven't told them yet?" " I've waited for the right time." "I like to break things gently." "It was almost a year before you told them I wasn't Jewish." "Technically, they don't know you're not Jewish." "Honey, it's gonna be fine." "I fixed things between us just yesterday." "They'll love you." "They'll get over the goyim factor." "You really think they'll love me?" "Remember I told you Dad's business was in trouble with the IRS?" "He was unable to get a loan." "Mom's gambling, her plastic surgery ..." "You still have stomach problems?" "I told you about that spicy food." "I took the $50,000 in our savings account, and lent it to Dad." "With what we earn, we'll be fine until they get back on their feet." "I can't believe this guy's gonna give you 25 grand more." "We already got 50,000 out of this clown." " He thinks I'm paying bills off." " You're not paying your bills?" "Hell no!" "Why should I?" "Let his fucking fianc?" "e pay them." "Mel?" "Are you awake?" "I'm really starting to dislike you." "I didn't find my money." "You all right, babe?" "Yeah." " Hello, Cisco?" " What's up, kid?" "That thing you got going tomorrow, can I still get in?" "Gump ..." "I don'twantany fuck-ups on this kidnapping." "I ain't like that no more." "You know I've got my shit ..." "... together." "You non-word-remembering fucker." " l don't know about no kidnapping." " 1 00 large apiece." " 1 00?" " Word up." "Here's the deal." "There's this rich Japanese industrialist named Jiro Nishi ..." " From Nishi Electric?" " Richest motherfucker around." "How do you know he'll pay?" "You sound just like a bitch." ""How do you know he'll pay?"" "I've got his shit covered." "Nishi's got millions in cash laying around his crib." "It was a legitimate question, man." " Mr. Nishi, you're broke." " Everything?" " How could this have happened?" " You knew the market was bearish." "It was a risky move, making that movie." "All my life I wanted to make a big Hollywood movie." ""Taste the Golden Spray" was a big movie." "A huge movie." "Actually, it was the biggest movie ever made." "But you shouldn't have directed and starred in it." "I'm not the first to make a big movie." "Gold-leaf posters for everybody, that was excessive." "I need to pick up my daughter at college." " And?" " l can't afford to pay the driver." "For crying out loud, how much is it going to cost?" " It's a stretch limo." " Stretch this." "Fuck ass, no!" "No advances, kid." "All my chips are wrapped up in my boat." "Ask Crunch." "He don't spend nothing." "Except maybe on some smut." "Can you hook me up with 25 G's till we do this?" "You need it for that sell-out bitch again, don't you?" " Who's a bitch?" " Get the fuck out of here." "Get with the programme, Mel." "Straight-jacking saves you that mad cream." " Call me later." "I'll hook you up." " Good looking out, man." "Why am I encouraging you?" "Fuck both them bitches." "Dump both their asses." "Where's that limo?" "I can't, man ..." "I just can't, okay?" "How the fuck come you can't dump these two no-respect bitches?" " The truth?" " You can't handle the truth!" "Shut the fuck up!" "I can't stand the idea of them not liking me anymore." "I can't stand anybody not liking me." "There, I said it." "That's the truth." " Mel ..." " What, man?" "The 1 00 or so people you've murdered in the past five years   more than likely have relatives who don't think too highly of you." " Hey, baby." " What's up, girl?" "You know why I called, don't you?" "I don't know." "Why did you call?" "I'm getting sick of your ass." " Always procrastinating ..." " Stand up to her." "You keep lying to me ..." "Car trouble?" " Put the phone in your ear." " Show her you're a man." "I'm sick of this shit." "Are you playing with your friends?" "You're so pathetic." "Bye!" "Yeah, you know I love you." "We'll hook up later, sweetie." "Here you go." " This is the girl?" " No, it's your mammy." "Maria's having a party tonight." "Bye, guys." "Are you going, too?" "I'll meet you there." "Bye." "Lance, you're so nasty." "A much-deserved reputation." "Am I still riding with you?" " Don't push my hand away." " Stop." "What's your problem?" "You're an ice queen today." " Stop." " Hello, Miss Nishi." "Hi, who are you?" "Where's Aaron?" "He's sick." "Is this yours?" "Yeah." "See you." "I think it might be better if you ride with somebody else." "Don't worry about me." "Drive the car." "That's what you're paid for." "And don't forget my suitcase." "Careful with that." "There's a piece of crystal in there." "You break it, you'll be back driving cabs." "Sorry about that, sir." "Say, bro ... a littleprivacy." " Yes, sir." "Sorry." " Domestics!" "Lance, no." "Yeah, right." "No means yes." "You know you want it." "Fucky-sucky." "Me love you long time." "Stop it!" "What's up, bro?" "He'll take his hand off. lf you scream, Gilligan will shoot you." "I'll blow your ... motherfucking..." "I think she gets the point." "Professor ..." "Sorry about your boyfriend, but he was being rude." "Do you mind?" " l guess this is a kidnapping." " That's right." "So are you supposed to be the "Spice Boys" or something?" "Chill with that being witty shit." "Professor, put the cuffs on her." "Skipper, fix that mess in the car." " You must be the millionaire." " Pretty soon." " Read this." " "Father ... "" " "l have been abduct." "I'm fine ... "" " Abducted." " It says abduct." " Just say abducted." ""l have been abducted. I am fine now, but I may not be for loring."" ""lf you pay one million doolers ... "" "Wait a minute. "Loring?" "One million doolers?"" " That's what it says." " "Long." "A million dollars."" "You know what it means." "Just say what it means, okay?" "Be careful, that's Lance's crystal." "It's really fragile." ""lf you don't pay a million dollars, you'll never see me alive again."" ""These men mean businesses." Who wrote this?" " Crunch." " What?" "I think he's pissed about the note." "It says "businesses"." "You never said I had to improvise." "improvise?" "What are you, Meryl Streep?" "Okay, improvise." "These sexually frustrated, degenerate losers mean business." "Don't improvise the note." "Gump, give me the fucking pen." " Read." " "Send one million or I'm dead."" "Perfect." "Mel, here goes the scenario." "Since Chantel is cool, store homegirl at your place." " Why my place?" " Because." "Because it's the best plan." "Just do what I say, Melvin." " What about the limo?" " You want me to drive that, too?" "What's your name, kid?" "Shut up." "Don't fuck this up." " Can you . .?" " Drive?" "Yes, I can fucking drive." " Hi, honey." " Hi, Mom." "Look at you." "Hi, Dad." "How are you?" "How was your train ride down?" "Fine, it's the cab ride over I could have lived without." "This Turkish idiot dropped us off at that schmuck next door's house." "Then he started cursing at us." " l need a drink." " No!" " Ma?" " Yeah?" "I'm not criticising you ..." "... butIthinkmaybe you should dress your age." "You've got Dad dressed like a villain from "Miami Vice"." "Dress my age?" "Morton and I dress exactly the way we feel." "Look at your father." "He's a regular sex machine." "Yeah, a regular Brad Pitt." "So, where is our benefactor?" "Are you okay?" "All right, I'll be right back." "I went to the bank today." "Do you know what I found?" "Or what I didn't find?" " l wasn't able to ..." " I'm starting to dislike you." " l didn't find my money!" " It's at Crunch's." "I'll pick it up tonight." "Now!" "Money, you ready to . .?" " Do it." "Yeah." " That's my word." "Make sure we get this right." "Crunch fucked me with that note." "My phone is plugged into a Tracebuster." "This will keep that motherfucker ..." "from tracing our shit." "Not only does this stop a trace on your call,   but it can also ..." " Trace?" " Trace who's tracing you." "What if they've got a Tracebuster?" "That's why I got this Tracebuster Buster." "When they try to bust your trace, this will bust the Tracebuster   that's busting your ..." " Trace." " That's my word." " We'll use my cell phone." " Just patch that shit into here." "Plug and play, motherfucker." "Hello." "Mr. Nishi, you don't know me, but I have something for you to hear." " It says businesses ..." " Hold on a second, that's not it." "These sexually frustrated ..." "Hold on, all right?" "Just relax." " Listen to this." " Toothpolish, haemorrhoid cream ..." "Hello?" "Hello?" "That motherfucker had the nerve to hop smart on my ass." "What?" " Send one million or I'm dead." " Who is this?" "We have your daughter." "One million dollars or she dies." "Is she okay?" "If we don't get that money, she won't be." "I don't have money." "I go bankrupt." "Don't fuck with us or we'll send your daughter back in little pieces." "You've got till noon tomorrow or your daughter is a slab of meat." " Understand?" " l understand." "I'll call tomorrow and say where." "If I even smell a cop, I'll cut off her hand." "Don't try to trace this call." "Now that's how you do shit." "I've got this shit under control." "I not call police." "Fuck all the police!" " Was I a bad motherfucker?" " You were a bad ..." "Motherfucker." " Bad motherfucker." " Nasty." "I trace you, buster." "Up you go." "Hello?" "How are you, old friend?" "What?" "My goddaughter?" "The set-up call is at 10 tomorrow?" "Calm down." "Don't worry." "Bastard!" "That son of a bitch will die." "That's it!" "1 0 a. m. tomorrow we set up the drop,   and by noon we get paid." "We're gonna get paid!" "In the house." "Get your ass to my office in 20 minutes." "Motherfucker!" "Paris called me for some emergency." "Don't do jack till I get back." " l could set up the ..." " Don't do shit till I get back." "I'm really sorry, Melvin." "It's nice to finally meet you ..." "You seem like a nice enough German-Irish fella." "But I have to say ..." "are you both out of your minds?" "We know what we're doing." "You're going to kill your father." "Marriage?" "A Catholic and a Jew!" "You'll put your father in an early grave." " What about your parents?" " They're both dead." " You see?" " They were dead before we met." " Please!" " This isn't about Daddy." "Or Mei's parents." "It's about you." "You're prejudiced." "I'm prejudiced?" "There's not one prejudiced bone in my body." "If I want to marry goyim, Ill marry goyim." " Over my dead body." " lf l want, I'll marry a black man." " Shut your mouth." " A six-foot-nine shvartzer." "I apologise. I didn't mean to cause such a schlimazel here." " We'll go to the temple tomorrow." " You think that might work?" " Mr. Shulman?" " Mort." "Mort, I know how your wife feels about me and Pam." "I want you to know, I would never marry her without your blessing." "Melvin ..." "Could you get me a shot of that rum l saw in there." "No!" " Never give Daddy a drink." " Why?" " It's horrible." " It's not so bad." "It's not so bad?" "He's a meshuggener." " Hey boss, what's going on?" " Sit down and shut up." "Even for those who live outside the law   it is understood that there are certain guidelines   which must be observed." "Otherwise you have anarchy." "I hear you, boss." "We run a serious business here." "We make money." "This business is based on trust, loyalty and honour." "In the House of Paris that's all we've got." "That's it, baby." "It's all about love." "When the rules are broken, the Paris machine breaks down." "Discipline must be enforced." "Order must be restored." "In my house, there has been a transgression." "An unauthorised kidnapping in my house." " Who could be that stupid?" " It gets worse." "In this particular case the transgression is personal." "In this case the kidnappee is my goddaughter." " Fuck!" " Some rock ..." "Some dolt ..." "Some less than senseless thing   has decided to come to my house and kidnap my goddaughter." "And I'm looking ..." "I'm searching for the motherfucker stupid enough to fuck with me." "What's this got to do with me?" "What would you do to that son of a jackal?" "Me?" "I would ..." "What would you do to someone   who decided to fuck with you in your own house?" " I'd bust some caps." " Bust some caps!" "Give this man a gold star." "It is you ..." "It is you I am putting in charge of this whole operation." "It is you who must go forth and bring these motherfuckers to me." "Let's just take the money and go to L.A. , where people like us belong." "Get that, Mel." "I'm not dressed." " What the hell are you doing here?" " l came to drop your shit off." "Goodbye, you punk-ass bitch." "I'm leaving town." "I'm getting a glass of prune juice." " Hurry up, it's a long way." " Don't worry, I know a shortcut." " Don't do that." " What's in there?" "Deer meat." "Cisco went hunting." "He gave me the meat." " He's a vegetarian." " There's a dead deer in there?" "That's gross." "Take it out to the garbage, please." "Ma, pour me some coffee." "You don't want to go in there." " It smells really bad." " Melvin, that's disgusting." "Morton, look at that dog." "Hey!" "Let go!" "You giant rat!" "There's something so peculiar about that boy." " Hello?" " Hi, Big Top Video." "I'm hearing things." " l am not going to temple." " Hello." "Hello." "You're avoiding us, sir." " Sorry, I apologise." " She has become godless." ""Why are you crying, little girl?" "l want 'King Kong Lives'!" "Who are you talking to?" "You can't rent that." "Melvin Smiley has it out right now." " And he's busy." " l promise I'll bring it back." " Aren't you going to temple?" " No." "You'll ruin my surprise." "I don't like surprises." "What surprise?" "I was going to cook a kosher meal." " This I got to see." " Excuse me." "Let go of that." "Let go." "Get out of here." "You are a pathetic little man." "Pam!" "Daddy had to make a pit stop and I forgot my purse." " Do you have to make a pit stop?" " No, I'm fine." " It's a long drive." " I'm fine." " You sure?" " I'm sure." "Oh, I forgot a thing in the trunk there." "If you've got a thing in the trunk, you'd better get it out." " What's that?" " His thing." "Come on, we're late." "If that's a dead deer, get it out of here ..." "I swear." "I can do this." "Cisco, where the fuck are you?" "Don't call." "Don't you call, you stupid fuck." "They got Tracebuster Buster." "I got Tracebuster Buster Buster." "All right, think ..." "Crunch!" "Be cool, playboy." "I got you covered." "I'll pick the chick up and keep her here at my crib." " What time?" " Give me about an hour and a half." "Thanks, bro." "You ready again?" "Come on." "Are you okay?" "If I take your gag off, you've got to promise not to scream." "I don't suppose you could take these cuffs off, too?" "I didn't think so." "Listen, I have to pee." " Hey!" "I need a little help." " Oh, sorry." "I need help with my underwear, unless you take my cuffs off." "Sorry." "I'm done." "You don't seem like a kidnapper." " I'm usually not." " Aren't you going to flush?" "Technically, I'm a hit man." " A hit man?" "Does that pay well?" " Of course, I make a killing." " Thank you." " You're welcome." " I'm hungry." "You must be starved." " Yeah, I could eat ..." " A horse?" " l could never eat a horse." "Whatever you want, I'll cook it for you." " You'll put a hit on it for me?" " Yeah." " How about a pterodactyl?" " You're in luck." "I just whacked a rare cheese and pepperoni pterodactyl." " Cold or nuked?" " Nuke it." "Which girl is your girlfriend?" "Chantel, I guess so." "But I'm engaged to Pam." "Chantel is your girlfriend, but you're engaged to Pam?" "Sounds complicated." "You want to tell me more?" "Cisco, I can do this." "I ain't no fuck-up." "I'll prove to you motherfuckers that I can handle my ..." "... business." "Yeah, I can handle my business." " Hello." " Noon today." "One million dollars." "Cash." "Place it in the green garbage can   near the Abbey Shelter on McBryde Trail off of Old School Road." "Understand?" " l don't understand MacBlyde." " What?" " No, hang up." " What is MacBlyde?" "McBryde Trail ..." "Goddamn . . !" "What is MacBlyde?" "It's a motherfucking ..." "Goddamn ..." "It's a thing." "I understand." "McBryde Trail." "I will drop money." "Good." "Get him." "Get him!" "Let's go." "Bust a move." "Come on, motherfucker, now." "You have responsibilities in life." "It seems like no matter what I do, it's never good enough." "It's starting to make me miserable." "You make it easy for Chantel and Pam to take advantage of you." "I'm not blaming them." "At least, I'm not trying to." "All I want them to do is be happy." "I just can't stand the idea of them not liking me anymore." "To be honest, I can't stand anybody not liking me." " That sounds pretty dysfunctional." " Why do you say that?" " What do you mean?" " l mean ..." "... youmightsuffer from a personality disorder." " What?" " You're whipped." "You're a nice guy." " Just do what's right for you." " You're really smart." "What the fuck is that?" " Hey!" " You filthy kidnapping scum!" " Where's the girl?" " She's at ..." "Don't get cute." "It's Mr. Paris' goddaughter you've kidnapped." "If you want to stay breathing, you'd better tell me ..." "Melvin ... wherethefucksheis and who the fuck ..." "Melvin..." "... istheinsidiousmastermind behind this plot ..." "Melvin." "Melvin?" "Melvin?" "Melvin Smiley?" "Melvin Smiley is the mastermind behind this?" "My God!" "What a world!" "I mean, the humanity ..." "the betrayal ..." "He was like a brother to me, man." "Oh, well ..." "Somebody's got to die." "You're always dying to do something for me ..." "Now's your chance." "No more Mr. Nice Guy." "We're gonna find Melvin Smiley." "And we're gonna kill him." "I knew Melvin had money problems, but I didn't think he'd go this far." "Find the girl first, then deal him." "Jiro-san, we're going for a ride." "Who knows what unspeakable things they do to my little girl." "It says here you're supposed to soak the matzo for five minutes." " Is this traditional Jewish food?" " It's the only Jewish food I have." "You need margarine to saut?" "the mushrooms." " Is that kosher?" " Like I would know." "Stir it around so it doesn't stick." "I could help you better if I didn't have these cuffs on." "You're pretty good at this." "You ever cook for your dad?" "My father only uses me to impress his associates." " Do you have any brown sugar?" " Yeah." "Do you know what it's like living your life to please other people?" "Actually, I guess you do." "It's a drag." "I wish I could just get away." "You know what I mean?" "I do, as a matter of fact." "I've always dreamt of getting away." "Come here, you're missing the whole joy of cooking." "You have to use your hands." "Get in and get messy." "I kind of like it." "Now we glaze our LM-4 leghorn." " Our what?" " Common broiler chicken." "I'm studying them in advanced biotechnology." "Damn!" "Sorry about that." "I'll clean that up for you." "Did you know that the white leghorn was successfully bred into hybrids?" "Doesn't everybody?" "All 33 phenotypes reach sexual maturity within two months." " And then we eat them." " Yep." "It's kind of sad that in order to feed us,   something so young, in the prime of its life,   has to die." " Help." " Keiko." "I'm sorry." "Shit." " Here you go, Ma." " You feel better?" "Getting your hair done always helps to mend a broken heart." "You're doing the right thing, baby." "We have to preserve our heritage." "Tell him after we eat." "Better he has a broken heart on a full stomach." "You think he'll take the money back?" " Hey Mel, what are you doing?" " Nothing." "How was your outing?" " Smells good." "Something's cooking." " We're ready to eat when you are." " This is Crunch." " What's up?" "Hold on a second." "Can you guys excuse me a second?" "Crunch, what the fuck's going on?" "Left." "Right here." "This is the place." "I'm getting out of the country, and you need to do the same." "Now!" "I went by the office today." "Paris is planning a big hit." "I said lanolin,   not some aloe vera bullshit." "Get it straight." "Seems like some motherfuckers kidnapped Paris' goddaughter." "Some Japanese bitch." "You see what I'm saying?" "You've got to let him have it." "Point blank." "It's over." "Kaput." "That's it." "But Ma, it just seems very harsh." "Cisco's trying to save himself and he's after all of us." "He got Gump." "My advice ..." "Get the fuck out of Dodge now." "They're coming for your ass now." " Peace, out." " Shit!" "Here's your prune juice." " Leave the bottle." " Who's that?" "Hello." "Is Melvin Smiley here?" " We're Melvin's co-workers." " Really?" " Is that chicken I smell?" " Have you all eaten?" " l haven't eaten all day." " Come on in." "How gracious!" "He's a devoted colleague." "A man who works to better society." "Why does he work on weekends?" " He works with the homeless." " And sells them computers?" "You'd be surprised how many homeless people buy computers." "Really?" " Hello, Melvin." " Hi, Melvin." "You want to talk about this outside?" "Sit down, Melvin." "I'd like to propose a toast." "To my wife." "A lovely woman,   who for the past eight years has cost me more than $200,000   in plastic surgery bills." "And what was the end result?" "A 57-year-old woman   with the face of a 25-year-old ape." " Morton!" " Shut your pisk." "Many men have found me to be a ravishing creature." "Don't you think I'm still a ravishing creature?" " Yes, certainly." " Sure." " Sure." " l agree." " You're a creature." " Sit down." "You're drunk." "To my darling daughter, Pamela." "A princess ..." "Myonlychild." "And a source of pride to degenerate, manipulative,   gold-digging leeches everywhere." "Which leads me to my would-be son-in-law Melvin,   who's very charming in a "Rain Man" kind of way,   but obviously not good enough for some parties." " Daddy, I think ..." " Sit down and shut your pisk." " Sit down!" " Where was I?" "Right after we meet him we have a big fight." "Then he comes on like Sidney Poitier in "Guess who's Coming to Dinner"." "A fine film, I might add." "And he proclaims:" ""l will not marry your daughter unless I have your blessing."" "To which I say:" ""She doesn't deserve you."" ""You deserve a life of tolerance and brotherhood."" "When I see four men, of different races, colours and creeds   sitting together at a table it fills me with hope." "No, let go!" "Gross, you nasty mother ..." "Bonus time!" "And guess who's the bonus." "You pissed at me, baby?" "Backstabbing motherfucker!" "We're supposed to be friends." "I just need a little space now." "I still love you." "Just like you loved Gump?" "Every man for himself, Mel." " Pam." " Yeah?" " Were you gonna break up with me?" " Yeah." "I guess this is goodbye then." " I'm sorry about the meal and all." " Things could be worse." "He's fucking getting away." "Come on, move." ""Don't worry, baby, this will save us hours."" "Were right back where we started, you fucking idiot." "He's an animal." "I should have found the money." "He won't hurt her now." "She's the only insurance he's got." "Shit!" " That was intense." " I'll be right back." "My leg!" "I think I broke my leg." "Nice driving, Mario." "Now get us out of here." "You have a Triple-A card?" "Mine expired." "My God!" "He's got a gun." " Were you gonna keep this?" " He wanted it." "You should be ashamed of yourself." "Melvin!" "Melvin, I'm sorry." "Can we talk about this?" "Melvin, I love you!" "Shit!" "I wanted it ..." "If you would've stayed your ass on the freeway   this wouldn't have happened." "Would you happen to know where Melvin is headed?" "Would you happen to know where Melvin is headed?" "Would you?" " What happens now?" " l take you home." "I mean with us." "What happens with us?" "There's something you need to understand." "I murder people for money." "So far they've been bad people ..." "plus a few obnoxious ones." " That's the only thing I'm good at." " I'm cool with that." " Your life will be in danger." " A constant adrenaline rush." " l like it." " Understand this ..." "I absolutely cannot be the only one falling in love here." " It's got to be mutual." " I'm feeling you, Skipper." "I'm gonna return this tape." "When I come back ..." "... ifyoureallywant to, we'll disappear together." " Skipper." " Just stay still." "I'm going to get us out of here." "Calm down, please." "Shit!" "Are you okay?" "We can get out the back." "Come on." "It's safe ... justdon'tlookdown ." " Skipper, look." " You've got to get out of here." "Meet me by the video store." "I've got to deal with this guy." "The most expensive stand-up in motion picture marketing." "Awesome." "Smiley ..." "Here's your fucking tape back." "Let's see here ..." "Late charges." "Mama, what's this?" "The tape's not rewound." " That's going to cost you." " I've taken a lot of shit from you." "High prices, a lousy selection, and your rude phone calls." "I'll tell you one thing:" "I will never come in here again, you snotty little ..." "I'm gonna finish what I started." "No!" " Knuckle up, bitch." " Let's go, motherfucker." " Where's the girl?" " l let her go." "You let that bitch go?" "I can't believe how stupid you are." " She ain't no bitch." " You like this girl." "Shit, man!" "She tricked you, fool!" "Just another manipulating bitch." "That's not true." "Haven't I taught you nothing?" "She don't like you. I don't like you." "You were nothing. I got you a job." "I taught you everything you know." "Remember what I said about my boat?" "I lied." "You ain't getting shit." "You know what?" "I don't give a fuck." "Son of a bitch." "Ain't that a bitch." "All I wanted to do was to sail my boat, man." "You know ..." "Navigate by the stars." "See dolphins racing alongside." "Maybe even kill a few of them." "Mel ..." "I canalmostsee it." "It's fucking beautiful." " Mel?" " I'm here, buddy." " l can't see it no more, man." " l can see it." "You're there, man." "You're right there on the deck." "It's just you and the sea." "You're free now." "My little buttercup." "Cool." "They're going to make a movie about your kidnapping." "My dad's in L.A. right now finalising the deal." "Your dad was totally broke, now he gets to make a big Hollywood movie." " Your dad must be so happy." " Everything's back to normal." "Bye." "Straight home, ma'am?" "Or would you like to get away from it all?" " l don't understand." " Vince, let's go." "You know your dad's movie display?" "It really was well made." " So . .?" " Yeah?" " Are we gonna disappear?" " You're the man."