"(WHISTLE BLOWS)" "(DOGS BARK)" "Yes?" "Good afternoon." "My name's Herriot." "I believe Mr Farnon is expecting me." "Surgery is from six to seven." "Oh, no." "He asked me for tea." "Did he, now?" "I'm applying for the job." "Mr Farnon's new assistant." "Oh." "Well, you'd better come in, then." "Go on, get in." "(DOGS GROWL)" "I'm Mrs Hall." "I keep house for Mr Farnon." "Leave your bags there." "Yes, right." "He never said anything to me about you coming to tea." "But still, never mind." "You'd better wait out there." "I've got shopping to do, and if I don't go now I'll be behind for the rest of the day." "Sorry I've kept you waiting." "The name is Farnon." "Siegfried Farnon." "James Herriot." "How do you do?" "How do you do?" "I've got some calls to make." "You'd better come along." "Come on." "Afternoon, sir." "Afternoon." "There's a lame horse here." "This is Mr Herriot." "How do?" "Which leg do you make it?" "Uh..." "Trot her on, please." "Near four, I think." "Would you like to examine it?" "Yes." "Yes, of course." "Up." "There we go." "Up." "What do you think it is?" "Pus in the foot, I think." "Yes, I think you're right." "Um..." "What do you suggest we do about it?" "Open out the sole, and evacuate the pus." "Uh-huh." "Off you go." "There it goes." "Well done." "She'll get relief now." "Well done, Herriot." "Not funny, is it?" "When the horn's as hard as that." "Right, Mr Sharp, if you'll hold up the hoof a moment," "I'll disinfect the cavity." "Iodine crystals and turpentine." "Chemical reaction... drives the crystal deep into the tissue." "Right-o." "By gum, Mr Farnon!" "It's wonderful what science can do nowadays." "Whoa!" "Yes, it's a family practice, really." "My father had it for, what... 28 years." "And then before him, my great-uncle." "Things were different then, of course." "Had a housekeeper, six servants, full-time gardener, not a blade of grass out of place." "But then war finished all that, you see." "Things have never been the same since." "Oh, yes, things certainly changed in 1918." "Well, hey-ho." "£4 a week, and full board." "How's that?" "Four..." "You mean I've got the job?" "Yes." "Whoa." "Whoa." "Well, what have you found out, young man?" "Head back, eh?" "Yes." "Well...you shouldn't have much trouble, then." "I've seen Mr Farnon bring them out arse-first." "Wonderful man, Mr Farnon." "I've never seen him beat yet." "Finest vet for miles around here, if you ask me." "Grab hold of that rope, will you?" "Mr Farnon always puts special lubricating stuff on his arms first." "He says you've got infection of the womb if you use soap and water." "Yes." "Don't you worry about a thing." "There's a girl." "There she goes." "Blast!" "How long have you been qualified?" "About seven months." "Seven months?" "Well, nowt like a bit of experience, I always say." "Mr Farnon's been doing work for me for over ten years." "Oh-ho, he really knows what he's about, he does." "Yeah, you can have all your book learning." "Give me experience every time." "Pull harder." "That's it." "Steady, steady." "I'd like a good...steady tension on the rope." "I'm going to repel the foal." "You keep up a steady pull on the rope." "Should bring the head round." "What if the rope comes off?" "I suggest a good steady tension." "That's it." "Now, pull on the head as she strains." "He should pull on the legs." "Do as I say." "Pull on the bloody head rope!" "She's going down." "It'll be dead." "It's bound to be." "It's alive." "I thought it'd be dead, the way you messed about with it." "How about a drink?" "Thank you very much indeed, Mr Dinsdale." "It has been a bit of a struggle." "No, I meant for the mare." "Oh." "Oh, of course." "Do her good." "Give her a drink, by all means." "Mr Farnon don't believe in that, not after foaling." "Says it chills the stomach." "Summer's been having a bit of a moan." "Thought I'd mention it." "About me?" "Yes." "Says he... rang you the other night, and you refused to come out to his cow." "He's a good client, you know, and... he's a very nice fellow." "Don't want to lose a chap like that." "It was only a chronic mastitis." "Yes." "Pass the marmalade." "He'd been dosing it himself for a week." "The cow was eating well." "I thought it would be all right to leave it till the next day." "James, um... there is one fundamental rule in our job which transcends all others, and I'll tell you what it is." "We must attend." "It should be written on your soul in letters of fire." "You must attend." "No matter what the circumstances, be it wet or fine, night or day, if a client calls you out, you must go." "And go cheerfully." "Even if they have been treating their animal themselves, it may have taken a turn for the worse." "The animal may die." "You must attend." "By the way, I wonder if it's here." "What?" "The car." "I got you a car." "Sunshine roof." "Spare wheel." "What more could you ask?" "In fact, it's quite stylish." "By the way, are you going past the Weathercock Cafe this morning?" "I think so." "Well, perhaps you could pick up my brother." "He's coming down from college." "Scruffy sort of chap." "His name's Tristan." "It's all Father's fault, really." "Music ruled his life." "Wagner." "Wagner all the time." "Morning, noon, and night." "That's why we're stuck with these dreadful names." "Siegfried and Tristan." "I ask you!" "Might have been worse." "Well, hardly." "It could have been Votan, or Pogner." "Gosh, yes, you're right." "I forgot about old Pogner." "Even so, it's going to look damn silly on that brass plate." "Are you studying to be a vet?" "That's right, yes." "I didn't realise." "No, he doesn't talk about it very much." "I haven't been doing too well, you see." "He's afraid I might let the side down." "How did you get on in the exams?" "A damned disgrace." "Bloody awful." "You ought to be ashamed of yourself." "What on earth have you been doing up there all this term, anyway?" "Eh?" "Boozing, I suppose, and chasing women." "Anything but work." "You're just lazy, Tristan." "Just bone-bloody-idle." "Well, I've had enough of it this time." "More than enough." "I'm sick to death of you." "He's got the bloody nerve to walk in and say he's failed pathology." "I did all right in parasitology." "Well, he can sit path again at Christmas." "It's a difficult exam." "I'm not working my fingers to the bone to keep him up there, idling!" "You're sacked." "Do you understand me?" "You're sacked once and for all." "I want you out of this house, and out of my sight!" "That's the end." "You are sacked." "Everything all right, James?" "Yeah, fine, thanks." "Good man." "I'm terribly sorry about how things worked out." "Could've been worse." "I don't really see how." "I mean, he's thrown you out, hasn't he?" "Oh, don't worry." "He's always saying that." "He'll have forgotten all about it in the morning." "Fag?" "No, thanks." "The only tricky thing was getting him to swallow what I said about parasitology." "You said you'd passed." "I only said I'd done all right." "Nothing more specific." "I failed both, actually." "Parasitology and pathology." "Never mind." "I'll pass them at Christmas." "Your very good health." "And thank you for everything you've done." "Thank you from both of us." "I haven't done very much, Mrs Pumphrey." "It's really up to you." "Yes, I know." "You must stop overfeeding him." "He gets so bored with chicken, you see." "That's the trouble." "He does so love his cream cakes, don't you, Tricky Woo?" "And his fudge, and chocolate, and pate, and trifle." "I find it hard to refuse him, Mr Herriot... when he begs me for little titbits." "Well, I'm afraid you're going to have to." "Otherwise this trouble's going to become more frequent." "The anal gland gets impacted, you see, and that's what causes the pain." "Oh, poor Tricky Woo." "So, you must put him on a good, sensible dog diet." "Two small meals a day." "Meat and biscuits." "Meat and biscuits." "And nothing in between." "I'll do my best, Mr Herriot." "I find it so hard to be strict with him." "It's being kind to him, really." "Yes, of course." "Yes, I'll try." "I'll try to be good." "And if you do have any more trouble, give me a ring." "Thank you very much, Mr Herriot." "You've been such a comfort." "Thank YOU, Mrs Pumphrey." "That's delicious sherry." "I get it specially from London." "Would you like a case?" "No, I wouldn't dream of it." "Oh, but I insist." "We both insist, don't we, Tricky Woo?" "It's very kind of you." "Not another word." "The very least I can do." "Come along, Tricky darling." "Come and say goodbye to Uncle Herriot." "Tricky Woo." "You see?" "He likes you." "I knew he would." "I like him." "He's got so few friends." "I often worry about him." "Do you think he gets lonely, being an only dog?" "(BARKS)" "I should think he's very happy and contented living here with you." "Oh, how kind of you to say so." "Thank you very much." "I can't tell you how pleased I am you've come to Darrowby." "May your stay here be a long and joyful one." "Good morning." "My name's James Herriot." "I've come about the lame calf." "Good morning." "I'm Helen Alderson." "Here's your patient." "We think he's broken his leg." "Right, well, let's have a look, then, shall we?" "Hold his head." "I'm sorry my father isn't here." "He's out in the field." "Don't worry." "No, it's a simple fracture of the radius and ulna." "A bit of plaster should do the trick." "Well, that seems to be dry." "Thanks very much." "You'll have to keep the plaster on for at least a month." "If you give me a call then, I'll come back and take it off." "All right." "Just be careful that the bandage doesn't make his leg sore." "That's his mother." "She's been hanging about wondering what we're doing with her calf." "Oh, she can come in now." "Cush." "I didn't know Mr Farnon had got a new partner." "Assistant, not partner." "I've been with him since July." "Are you enjoying it?" "Oh, yes, very much." "It's been a complete revelation to me, coming to Yorkshire." "I had no idea it was such beautiful countryside." "That's Hesket Fell." "Over 2,500ft." "Wonderful." "Edleton." "Waydadale on the other side and Culver and Sennin." "You're very lucky to live in a place like this." "Yes, I know." "I love it very much." "Were you born in the country, Mr Herriot?" "No." "Good heavens, no." "No, I lived near London when I was a boy." "Henfield." "My father still lives there." "In the same house, in fact." "I've been trying to persuade him to get a transfer up here." "He works in a bank, you see, but..." "he won't do anything about it." "It is their home, after all." "Yes, I know, but my mother died a few years ago." "I just think the change would do him good." "Perhaps." "Thank you for coming so promptly, Mr Herriot." "I'll see you next month." "Right." "Yes, she's quite a girl, Helen Alderson." "Been running that place single-handedly since her mother died." "Her old dad relies on her completely." "Ah." "She's not married, then?" "No." "A bit choosy, I gather." "There have been a lot of blokes chasing her, but they don't seem to have got very far." "Good morning, Siegfried." "Is it?" "I was up at 4am." "And it's all your fault too." "My fault?" "Yes." "A cow with a very mild infection of the rumen." "The farmer had been mucking about with it himself." "Linseed oil one day, bicarb and ginger the next, and then at four in the morning he decided to call the vet." "I said they could have waited a few hours." "He said, "Oh, no." "Mr Herriot told us to ring any time of the day or night."" "Well, I'm terribly sorry about that, Siegfried." "You're spoiling these chaps, James." "But I thought the rule was you must attend." "Rule?" "What rule?" "What are you talking about?" "Supposing the animal died?" "Serve him right." "Tristan!" "Nothing like a dead animal to bring them to their senses." "They'll call us out earlier next time." "There's no need to shout." "What's the matter with you today?" "Nothing." "Just the usual sore head." "What?" "I heard you come in last night." "We all did, I'm sure." "Falling over, and banging the door." "I only went to the Black Bull." "If you must get drunk four times a week, I wish you'd do it more quietly." "Is that all?" "No." "Don't forget it's market day tomorrow." "Market day?" "It's the end of the month." "The bills have gone out." "I want you to devote the entire day...the ENTIRE day, Tristan, to taking their cheques, and giving them a receipt, and entering their names accurately in the receipt book." "Right." "Let's hope you can do that without making a bloody hash of it." "Roll this way." "Up this way, please." "This way." "Up this way, please." "£2?" "At £2. £2." "£2.08." "(PHONE RINGS)" "(DOOR BELL)" "(BARKING)" "Quiet!" "Stop that noise at once!" "Sorry." "You want us to do a post-mortem?" "Have you got any money?" "A post-mortem?" "Right." "I'll be round right away." "Hang on, James." "I'm coming with you." "I'm going down to Heaton's place." "I'll be a couple of hours." "I believe they teach you a pretty hot post-mortem procedure." "I'd like to see you in action." "How are you?" "Oh, middling, sir." "(HORN)" "(HORN)" "There's your receipt, Mrs Pratt." "Thanks." "Thank you, Mr Farnon." "You're looking very smart this morning." "Smart?" "Me looking smart!" "You know what they say - best-dressed woman in the dale." "Oh, Mr Farnon, you are a wicked one." "Where are we going?" "Huh?" "It's the other end of the village, Heaton's place." "You said Seaton's." "I said Heaton." "You said Seaton." "There's no..." "There's no post-mortem knife." "Never mind." "I'll borrow a carving knife from the house." "(WHISTLES)" "Ah, good morning." "Good morning, Mr Farnon." "A carving knife." "May we borrow a carving knife?" "A carving knife?" "Yes, a good sharp one." "You want to borrow a carving knife?" "Yes, that's it, yes." "We haven't much time, you see." "Hello." "Ah." "This is the sharpest one we've got, Mr Farnon." "Right, let's look." "Yes, well, I've seen worse." "Right, now, where's this sheep?" "Sheep?" "What sheep?" "Well, your husband telephoned us." "He wants us to do a post-mortem." "First I've heard of it." "Oh, for heaven's sake." "Mr Seaton?" "Is he in here?" "Mr Seaton?" "Mr Seaton?" "Must be more careful, James, in future." "Gives a very bad impression." "It's Heaton, not Seaton." "(KNOCK AT DOOR)" "Who is it?" "It's me." "Tristan." "Oh, it's all right." "Come in." "What's up?" "You look as if you've lost the petty cash." "It's worse than that." "I've lost the bloody receipt book." "You've done what?" "It's not funny, Jim." "I spent the last two hours ransacking the house." "I can't find it anywhere." "Heaven help us all." "I mean, we are supposed to be running a business, after all." "No system, that's the trouble." "Everything seems to be this one bloody big shambles." "Good Lord, look at that." "It was a golf ball last year." "Shower up, will you, James?" "You see, what we need is a... an expert, someone who can do these jobs properly." "Tristan can't be trusted to blow his own nose without making a ruddy mess of it." "Go easy with that dusting powder." "You see, what we need is... a secretary, James." "A secretary." "Someone who can do the paperwork properly." "What exactly is this, Mr Farnon?" "Well, that's our ledger, you see." "(CLEARS THROAT) We enter the visits into that from our day book." "Which is here somewhere." "Here we are." "There we are." "I'm afraid you gentlemen will have to learn to write if I'm going to do the books." "What seems to be the...trouble, Miss Harbottle?" "Well, there are three quite different hands here." "That one is by far the worst." "It's quite dreadful." "Whose is it?" "Um... well, it is mine, actually." "I was probably in a bit of a hurry that day." "It's all the same." "Look here, and here, and here." "It won't do, you know." "Yes, I'm sorry." "Where do you keep your cash box?" "Ah." "Well, actually, we don't... have a cash box, Miss Harbottle." "We just stuff it in there, you see." "What about the petty cash?" "Yes, it all goes in there." "All cash, petty and otherwise." "How you've managed to go on like this for so long I can't imagine." "There'll have to be some changes made." "Some really quite drastic changes." "Good morning, Mrs Hall." "Morning, Mr Broadbent." "Bit chilly." "Hear about Luke's missus flitting off with that young fella?" "Yes." "Dreadful, isn't it?" "And I'll tell you something else." "Yes?" "I wish somebody'd take my old bugger!" "(LAUGHS)" "Please don't do that." "Don't do what?" "It sets my teeth on edge." "That scraping noise." "I see." "In one of your moods?" "I've got a terrible headache." "Hangover is the word, Tristan." "Hangover." "I'm not surprised, the amount you put away last night." "You didn't do too badly yourself." "I know when to stop, unlike some people." "(DOGS BARK)" "Shut up!" "MISS HARBOTTLE:" "It's the morning mail." "Oh, heaven help us." "I can't face all that efficiency this morning." "Hangover's the word, Siegfried." "Hangover." "I've put the business mail in the office." "Personal letter for you, Mr Herriot." "Thank you, Miss Harbottle." "I'd like to start as soon as possible." "There is a great deal to be done." "Yes, in a minute, Miss Harbottle." "Oh, Lord." "What is it?" "Another bill?" "Uh, it's... an invitation." "Let me see." "(LAUGHS) Listen to this." ""Tricky Woo requests the pleasure of Uncle Herriot's company at a garden party on August 5th."" "Very funny." "What on earth am I going to do, Siegfried?" "Well, accept, of course." "Mrs Pumphrey's parties are famous." "Mountains of food, and rivers of champagne." "And since you're invited by Tricky Woo himself you'll be the guest of honour." "# This one's becoming a gay one" "# I used to think it a grey one" "# But I discovered it's A1" "# Just now" "# It's taken on a new meaning" "# It's very nice to be seen in" "# There's been a little spring-cleaning" "# Who's been polishing the sun, rubbing out the clouds of grey?" "# They must have known just how I like it" "# Everything's coming my way" "# Who's been teaching all the birds how to sing" "# They must have known just how I like it" "# Everything's coming my way" "# Yesterday everything looked anyhow" "# Then I met someone, and look at it now" "# Who's been polishing the sun, rubbing out the clouds of grey?" "# They must have known just how I like it" "# Everything's coming my way" "# Tell me who's been polishing the sun" "# Sweeping all the stormy clouds away" "# They must have known just how I like it" "# Every little thing's going to be OK" "# Tell me who's been teaching all the birds how to sing... #" "(SIEGFRIED LAUGHS)" "Yes, it's quite good, isn't it?" "Ah, James." "You've met George, haven't you?" "Yes." "No." "We met at the races." "Oh, yes, sorry." "Do me a favour." "Yes, of course." "I want you to post this." "I want it to go out this evening, you see." "You want me to post it?" "Yes." "You're going to this gramophone thing, aren't you?" "Yes." "Yes, I am." "Aren't you?" "Well, I was going to go with Tristan, but he seems to have changed his mind." "You don't need Tristan to hold your hand, surely?" "It's the music you're going for, after all." "Hm?" "Yes." "Yes." "Well, I'll see you later." "I do hope you have a nice time." "Yes." "(FLOORBOARD CREAKS)" "(COUGHS)" "Let me have a go." "Are you sure it's not too grand?" "No, of course not." "Everyone goes there." "You've got to impress her, after all." "You can't take her to the Black Bull." "There." "How do I look?" "Not bad." "(THUNDER)" "Not bad at all." "The sleeves are a bit short." "A mere detail." "Nothing to worry about." "Yes, I can just see it." "Sweet music oozing out of Benny Thornton's trombone, and you, full of lobster thermidor, floating round the dance floor." "Good heavens." "Prince Charming off to the ball." "I'm taking Helen Alderson out to dinner." "Ah, yes, tonight's the night." "Where did you get the suit from?" "I borrowed it from Tristan." "The sleeves are a bit short, aren't they?" "Stop undermining his confidence, and finding fault." "What confidence?" "(THUNDER)" "Not bad." "Five minutes flat." "You're absolutely drenched." "I'll soon dry." "Look at your shoes." "Yes." "Well... it doesn't matter." "We'd better go back home." "You can borrow a pair of my father's." "Dreadful night." "I've known worse." "Oh, yes, so have I." "Much worse." "Pity about them trousers." "Oh, they'll be all right once they're pressed." "Rots the fabric, or so I'm told." "Never the same after a good soaking." "Here we are." "Will these be all right?" "Oh, yes." "Thank you." "Yes, they're fine." "Good evening, sir." "Are we too late for the dinner dance?" "There's no dance tonight." "We only hold them once a fortnight." "Oh." "Well, I didn't realise." "Never mind." "We can have dinner, then." "Table for two, sir?" "Yes, please." "This way, please." "Good night." "Goodbye, sir." "Nice to see you again." "Are you staying, sir?" "Well, yes, of course." "What room number, sir?" "I..." "I'm not living here." "I see." "Not staying." "Have you been here before?" "Once or twice." "It's very... very comfortable, isn't it?" "A bit ostentatious." "Yes." "It is a little bit." "How's the calf?" "How's the what?" "The calf with the broken leg." "Oh, fine." "Father took the bandage off." "Seemed a bit silly to drag you all the way out there." "Well, I wouldn't have minded." "How's the beef?" "All being well, it should be a good year." "We're quite pleased about it." "Good." "Actually, I meant this beef." "This beef?" "Oh, I'm sorry." "It's nice." "Very nice indeed." "Are you happy here?" "Well, yes." "Aren't you?" "I meant in Darrowby, in your job." "Well, of course." "Don't I seem to be?" "I just wondered." "It must be a bit strange sometimes." "Why should it?" "It's not what you're used to, after all, this sort of life." "I thought I was settling down rather well." "I didn't mean that." "Well, don't you think I am?" "Yes." "You're doing wonderfully." "Everyone likes you very much." "Don't look so worried." "It was just a passing thought." "I didn't mean to upset you." "We were wondering if you miss London." "We?" "I was telling my father about your family." "He asked me whereabouts in the country you came from." "I suppose he doesn't approve." "It isn't a question of approve or disapprove." "Don't be so edgy." "Look, it was just a casual remark." "Let's forget it, shall we?" "(CHURCH BELLS)" "It's quite obvious that your social life has suffered badly during my absence." "I've been working, Tristan." "Don't you start, please." "I've had enough brotherly advice to last me a lifetime." "Anyway, I'll pass in the summer." "I'm bound to." "Not many berries on this stuff, are there?" "You're behaving like a bullock with a bellyache." "All because you had a disastrous night and she gave you the heave-ho." "Well, so what?" "Do you know how many times I have been spurned?" "Spurned?" "It never even got started." "Forget it, lad, and get out into the big world." "The rich tapestry of life is waiting for you there." "Think of the lovely girls here." "You can hardly move for them." "Why don't you let me fix something up?" "Nice little foursome." "Just what you need." "Connie." "Brenda." "The two prettiest nurses in the whole of Yorkshire." "Hello, Connie." "You'll have to watch him." "He's a devil with women." "How about a little drink to get us all in the mood?" "# Five gold rings" "# Four calling birds, three French hens" "# Two turtle doves" "# And a partridge in a pear tree #" "Come on, drink up." "It's time we were off to that dance." "Ladies and gentlemen, please take your partners for the Lambeth Walk." "Now, come on, everyone." "# Any time you're Lambeth way" "# Any evening, any day" "# You'll find us all" "# Doing the Lambeth Walk, hoi!" "#" "Hold it, now, hold it." "Let's have a bit more hoi!" "Hoi!" "All right, once more." "# Any time you're Lambeth way" "# Any evening, any day" "# You'll find us all" "# Doing the Lambeth Walk" "# Hoi!" "Every little Lambeth girl" "# With her little Lambeth pal" "# You'll find them all" "# Doing the Lambeth Walk" "# Hoi!" "# Everything free and easy" "# Do as you darn well pleasy" "# Why don't you make your way there?" "# Go there, stay there" "# Once you get down Lambeth way" "# Every evening, every day" "# You'll find us all" "# Doing the Lambeth Walk" "# Hoi!" "#" "Connie?" "Try some of this." "It's delicious." "What is it?" "Pork pie." "I've got trifle." "It doesn't matter." "Try some." "James?" "I don't feel very well." "Are you enjoying the dance?" "Merry Christmas, James." "Same to you." "I've had a cow struck by lightning." "It's laid up in the field." "Are you sure it was lightning?" "We haven't had a storm today." "You haven't had one, but we've had one here." "Must be lightning." "Couldn't be owt else." "Morning, Mr Herriot." "Get on with some work!" "Are you sure it was killed by lightning, Mr Cranford?" "Couldn't be owt else." "Nasty storm." "A good beast like that dropped down dead." "It didn't exactly drop down, did it?" "It died in convulsions." "You can see here where its hooves have kicked up the grass." "It had a convulsion, but it was the lightning that brought it on." "No, I'm not so sure." "One of the signs of lightning stroke is that the animal falls without a struggle." "Some of them still have the grass in their mouths." "Not all t'same, you know." "No, no, I realise that." "Look here." "I've been among livestock for half a century." "This isn't the first beast I've seen struck." "This could have been caused by so many things." "What about the side and shoulder?" "What about the bloody burn?" "Doesn't prove very much, Mr Cranford." "What do you mean?" "I just want to be sure, that's all." "Don't give me that." "I know what's in your mind, oh aye." "Did it myself with a red-hot poker just so as I could get the insurance." "I can't sign a death certificate without doing a post-mortem." "That beast is worth £80 to me!" "I can't afford to lose £80!" "I'll see you at Mullock's yard tomorrow morning, 10 o'clock." "OK?" "Oh, bother." "Now, let's take a look at her." "Aye." "There we are." "It seems you was right, Mr Cranford." "Aye, it does, doesn't it?" "Lightning got her." "There's no mistaking that." "Perhaps Mr Herriot would be kind enough to give us his opinion." "Yes." "Lightning." "I'm sorry." "Thanks, Jeff." "Very good." "You can tell Mr Farnon I'll be going to another vet in future." "I've got influence round here, you know!" "I've got influence round here." "Please hear me out!" "It's the tenth day of the month, and the accounts haven't even gone out." "Think of the interest we're losing." "How can I?" "Don't change the subject!" "It's efficiency, Miss Harbottle." "That's what we need." "Efficiency." "What is it?" "Ignition keys." "It'd be easier if you took a leaf out of Mr Herriot's book." "Oh, yes?" "In what way?" "Well, he keeps proper records!" "What do you think that is?" "A meaningless scrawl!" "I have done my best, Mr Farnon, but I can't work miracles." "Yes, well... you've had some good ideas, James." "Yes, I'd be the first to admit that." "But Miss Harbottle certainly wasn't one of them!" "Far from it." "Far, far from it." "(RINGS)" "Darrowby 85." "Is that Mr Farnon?" "No, I'm afraid he's out." "This is his assistant." "I'm Mr Soames, Lord Hutton's farm manager." "Yes, Mr Soames." "You'd better get over here and bring arecoline." "Arecoline?" "Mr Farnon always uses it." "We've got a hunting horse with colic." "Know anything about colic?" "I'm a veterinary surgeon." "I should know something about it." "Let's hope so." "It's one of his Lordship's best hunters." "I'm leaving now." "How long has he been like this?" "All day." "I've told you." "Put a halter on him." "I'll examine him now." "Relax." "Whoa." "Have you got the arecoline with you?" "This is no ordinary colic, Mr Soames." "Then what the hell is it?" "I'm pretty sure it's a severe torsion." "Twisted bowel." "What do you mean, a twisted bowel?" "The horse has belly ache." "He hasn't passed anything." "He needs something to shift it." "If this is a torsion, arecoline is the worst thing to give him." "Rubbish." "He's in agony now, but that would drive him mad." "It works like - All right!" "Don't start giving me a bloody lecture!" "Are you going to do something for that horse or not?" "I'll need a bucket of water, soap, and towels." "What the devil for?" "I want to do a rectal examination." "God almighty, I've never heard such nonsense." "Don't just stand there doing nothing." "Fetch the bloody water and let's get on with it!" "Well?" "The bowel is badly displaced." "I'm pretty sure it's a torsion." "So...erm... ..what's the treatment?" "There's nothing I can do." "There's no treatment." "There's no cure." "No cure?" "What do you mean, no cure?" "There must be something you can do." "I'm sorry, Mr Soames." "I think you should let me put him down immediately." "You can't do that." "You can't!" "There's no alternative." "None." "I've got the humane killer in my car." "Are you stark bloody mad?" "Do you know how much that horse is worth?" "I don't care!" "That animal has been going through hell, and it's dying now." "What if you're wrong?" "I'm as sure as I can be." "He may live a few more hours but the end will be the same." "You should have called me long ago." "God almighty, why did this have to happen now?" "His Lordship's on holiday." "I can't even get in touch with him." "Where the hell is Farnon?" "He's gone to see his mother." "All right, then." "Let's wait till he gets back." "Let's do that, huh?" "Let's... let's ask him to have a look at the horse." "I'm sorry, Mr Soames." "It must be done now." "(GUN SHOT)" "I see." "So, he got a bit nasty, did he?" "Well, yes, he did." "He said he'd sue us if the post-mortem showed I was wrong." "Oh, that's just Soames letting off a bit of steam." "He's a bullying bugger at the best of times." "I just didn't know what to do." "Yes." "Well, don't worry, James" " I'll tell you what I'll do." "I'll pop round first thing tomorrow morning, and get it all sorted out." "Now, how about a nice glass of whiskey to calm the nerves?" "Uh, no, thanks." "I think I'll pop on to bed." "All right." "By the way, any calls that come through, um..." "I'll take them." "Thank you very much, Siegfried." "Thank you." "Good night." "Sleep well." "What was all that about?" "A spot of trouble at Lord Hutton's estate." "So I gathered." "Is it serious?" "Mm, could be." "Well, it seems I owe you an apology," "Mr Herriot." "Colic drench?" "No, get rid of it." "Universal cattle medicine." "What?" "Sovereign remedy for coughs, chills, pneumonia, milk fever, and all forms of indigestion." "Never fails to give relief." "Yes." "That sounds rather good." "I might even try some myself." "Mr Farnon?" "Yes?" "I have been looking everywhere for you." "Oh, really?" "Is anything wrong?" "Indeed there is." "Perhaps you would explain to me why once more you have emptied my petty cash box?" "Um, yes, well, I'm sorry." "I had to rush to Broughton last night to see my mother." "That is no excuse, Mr Farnon." "How can I keep efficient records when you keep stealing the money, and spending it?" "I will not tolerate such... anarchy!" "Give me the receipt, Miss Harbottle." "I will not tolerate being told how, or why and when to spend my own money!" "If that's efficiency, I prefer anarchy." "A lady's brought a dog, sir." "I'll deal with it." "Not you, sir." "Mr Herriot." "It's Miss Alderson." "Is it bad?" "A dislocated hip." "Nasty, but no more." "He should be all right." "It's a good job you brought him in when you did, though." "When can you do it?" "Oh, right now, immediately." "I'll have to call Siegfried, though." "It's a two-man job." "Can't I help?" "I'd very much like to." "It'll need a bit of pulling." "Would you mind playing tug o' war?" "With Dan in the middle?" "Don't worry" " I'm not squeamish." "I like working with animals." "Fair enough." "Here." "Put this coat on." "Right, now, just link your hands beneath the thigh." "Try and hold him there while I pull." "OK?" "Go." "(CLICK)" "Is that it?" "Let's hope it stays put." "We'll keep our fingers crossed." "How long will it be before he comes round?" "He'll be out all day." "Let me take the coat." "I'd like to keep him here for the rest of the week, just to be sure." "I'll come and get him on Friday." "Don't bother." "I'll bring him round." "Bring him round?" "Perhaps you'd like to go to the pictures?" "What?" "There's a good film on at the Plaza next week." "I could bring the dog round, and take you out, if you'd like to?" "I mean, if it'd be all right." "It would be very nice, James." "Thank you for asking me." "(THUNDER)" "That was where I saw it." "A terrifying thing in black." "It came running across the lawn." "It laughed." "I heard it laugh!" "Mad laughter!" "Come and live in a place like this!" "I don't mind so much in the daytime." "You wouldn't catch me here after dark." "Not for twice the money." "How you stick it I don't know." "There's always a lot of silly talk about old houses like this." "Just all talk." "Like you." "You want to have heard Mrs Avery this morning." "She saw the monster." "A thing over his head." "All ghostly, he was, in the moonlight." "Oh, shut up." "You're giving me the creeps." "(SCREAMING)" "I saw it!" "What?" "The thing." "She's dead." "What?" "Died last Tuesday." "Thought you'd like to know." "Oh." "Who's dead?" "Don't know." "Who's that?" "Can't remember." "I knew from the start you were on the wrong track." "Oh." "Mary, I love you, but your heart is elsewhere." "A younger and luckier man shattered the dream of my life." "I found you could never be mine, and so " "(SNORING)" "(SCREAMING)" "I said to Conor, when you meet him you will die." "But when I meet him..." "Excuse me." "Miss?" "I thought this was supposed to be the Greta Garbo film." "No, sir, that's next week." "Oh." "I'm sorry." "Look, next time, why don't we just go for a walk?" "Is it all right?" "Mm, lovely." "Go on, then." "You were telling me about this man, the lorry driver." "Terry Watson?" "Well..." "He's always kept a few pigs at the end of his garden." "He wouldn't be able to afford any meat, otherwise." "I went into the house one day just after they killed one of the pigs." "Mrs Watson was cutting it up for pies and brawn, and there was Terry sitting in front of the fire sobbing his heart out." "Crying?" "It was always the same." "He's a big man, huge." "He can throw a 12-stone sack on the back of his wagon without thinking twice, but every time they kill one of the pigs he cries for three days." "It's love." "He loves them." "It can't be anything else." "Oh, come off it, Siegfried." "Stop pulling my leg." "I'm not pulling your leg." "I'm doing nothing of the sort." "I've only just started my career." "I've got no money." "Nothing." "I hadn't even given it a thought." "You haven't thought about getting married?" "Come on, James, don't tell such whacking fibs." "It's been going on for a year now, hasn't it?" "What has?" "Helen Alderson." "You and Helen Alderson." "You're courting, aren't you?" "Well, I wouldn't exactly call it courting." "What would you call it, then?" "I don't know." "Courting's putting it a bit strong." "Well... (CLEARS THROAT)" "They say...what do they say?" "Caution is a virtue." "If you don't mind my saying so, I think you carry it miles too far." "I think you're far too cautious." "Do you know what I mean?" "Far too apprehensive." "Always worrying about little details and all that." "Come on - a young chap like you, good looking, and Helen is immensely attractive, and a jolly good cook." "She's an excellent cook, in fact." "If you take my advice, you'd marry her before the month is out." "Well, come on, get on with it!" "I want to start on the asparagus after lunch." "Anybody home?" "Anybody home?" "Good evening." "Good evening." "Something wrong?" "No." "No, I was just passing." "Been up to Sharp's place." "Trouble with one of his Jerseys." "Twisted calf bit." "Quite tricky, really." "Oh, aye, it is." "I hope you don't mind me dropping in like this." "Suit yourself." "Helen's gone to York today." "One of her friends is getting married." "Yes, she told me." "So long as you know." "I gather you think I'm a bit of a Londoner." "Helen said so." "Well, it's true anyway." "Not any more." "Maybe not." "This is my home now." "Home is where you're born, lad." "That's summat I always thought." "You can move around as much as you like, it'll make no difference." "I don't agree with you, Mr Alderson." "Aye, well... each man to his own opinion." "I'm happy here." "I don't want to leave." "Not yet, perhaps." "Never." "It's what I've always wanted." "To be a vet, living in a place like this." "Settling down." "It's what I've always wanted." "Aye, well, I'm glad you're happy." "There's not many folk can say that these days." "This is done." "I'll go get my supper." "Mr Alderson, I want to marry her." "I want to marry Helen." "You'd...better come into the house." "Thank you very much, Mr Alderson." "We've been having some good weather." "Yes, we have." "Mind you, a bit of rain at night might do some good." "Yes." "Yes, it would." "About Helen." "Would you like some more whiskey?" "No." "No, I've had enough." "I had a wife in thousands, James." "Yes." "Yes, I've heard a lot about her." "She was the grandest lass about for miles, and the bonniest." "Nobody thought that she'd have a fella like me, but she did." "Oh, aye, she did." "Her father had a place on Mastang Fell." "Big place it was, too." "It was a big place, and I used to see her some days on market day." "I thought she was the prettiest thing alive." "No man could have been more happy than me." "We had a good life together, and I'm grateful for it." "She was a grand wife." "I loved her." "Helen's a lot like her in many ways." "I can see it." "The mother and the daughter." "The same smile, the way she holds her head." "Same voice, even." "No man could ever have wished for a better wife." "Gentle and kind, loving." "I..." "I don't think I'll bother with any supper now." "It's a bit late." "Aye, she's just like her mother." "The right lass for you." "The German wireless announced tonight the German government's reply to a British communication." "Evening, Siegfried." "What was it?" "A bit of mastitis." "Nothing serious." "Would you like some of Mrs Pumphrey's sherry?" "No, thank you, no." "She spoils you, that woman does." "What's the matter with you?" "The bloody Ministry." "They want us to start TB testing at Allerthorpe next week." "Blasted forms." "Next week?" "That's right, next week." "You will be dancing off on your honeymoon." "Very sorry." "You just don't think ahead, James, that's your trouble." "Always charging ahead without a thought for others." "Hang on just a minute." "Why do you have to rush into it like this?" "Marriage is a very serious thing." "Look here, Siegfried " "You know what they say - marry in haste, repent at leisure." "But it was your idea, for God's sake!" "You really are the most bloody-minded person." "All right, don't lose your temper." "I'm not saying you did anything wrong." "It's just the improvidence of youth, I suppose." "Still...you'll learn." "Right." "We'll go to Allerthorpe, and stay at the Wheatsheaf." "What, with Helen?" "She wouldn't mind, I shouldn't think." "We haven't made any plans, after all." "Certainly not." "I wouldn't dream of it." "If I say we're going to Allerthorpe we're going to Allerthorpe!" "And give me those bloody forms!" "Well, that seems to be the lot." "Aye, that's it." "Good." "Right, I'll be back on Thursday, morning if possible." "I thought you were getting married, Mr Herriot." "I am." "Tomorrow." "What, no honeymoon?" "You're coming back?" "These tests have got to be finished, Mrs Seaton." "I'll be coming back with my wife." "(CHURCH BELLS)" "Helen, look at that!" "Stop!" "Go back, go back!" "Look." "He's made me a partner." "ITFC Subtitles"