"My name's Florian Tomas." "This morning, my dick started talking to me." "Hello!" "Wake up!" "Come on!" "From now on, it's all down to us." "Down to us?" "Yep, you and me." "From that day on, he never stopped talking." "2 YEARS LATER" "You can ski down those tits!" "And you can wrap those legs round your head three times." "You have a problem," "She looks keen, Hey, we've hit paydirt!" "You see girls as sex objects." "And the problem is?" "There's more important things than sex." "Such as?" "Personality, for example." "I love girls with personality." "Show me a girl with personality." "She's got two handfuls of personality." "With a sense of humour?" "Let me see..." "She's got a good sense of humour." "You're unbelievable." "Who?" "Me?" "I'm your best friend." "Or my worst enemy." "I'm a part of you." "Save the girls from your filthy thoughts." "Then they'll willingly hear them." "Not her." "Her name is Maja Paradys." "That sounds almost like "paradise"." "She was so perfect, but there was a problem." "She isn't interested in you." "Keep your shirt on, I'm stating a fact." "I'm fed up with you always putting me in awkward situations." "Would you, then?" " I wish only to have my dream girl." "Poets would call her "the only one"." "Or rappers would call her "yo, bitch"." "Go and talk to her." "What if she won't talk to me?" "At least she'll talk to you." "Are you crazy?" "She's the new teacher!" "What's the big deal?" "I think it's time to cop a feel." "Cop a feel?" "With her?" "I'm going mad." "Just grab her tits." "If she smiles, she likes it." "After her!" "Skateboard!" "Quick, get behind her." "What if she doesn't smile?" "All women like it." "When you're ready." "Start with her backside." "How do I do it?" "As though you were pushed." "I'm sorry." "Great!" "Now move up to the tits!" "Hello, Florian." "Hello, Miss Morgenstern." "Did you see her smile?" "She loves it." "Check if they're firm." "That could have been acting." "Out the way, bitch." "Don't call me bitch." "I'll call you what I want." "Just shut it." "There's as much sex and violence in girls' hockey as in video games." "Great." "Diane is hurt, so we are down a player." "Pick me!" "Pick me!" "According to the rules, you've got to cut your dicks off." "The teacher?" "You must have been desperate." "What?" "Well?" "Her tits." "Are they real or silicone?" "Oh, real." "No!" "Cough up." "Go on, Maja." "I dream about having a girlfriend like her." "Then I would never look at other girls." "Oh my God." "Maja!" "With such a girl, one has no use for others." "Kiss her now!" "Hello, Maja!" "Filthy Pig!" "According to your school report groping your teacher is not your usual behaviour." "Florian..." "Ths is a typical male fantasy." "The most common is fascination of breasts." "Then comes womens' legs... .. and then an uncontrollable admiration for women's feet." "You might know that as foot fetish." "There is an effective treatment." "What?" "Castration." "What!" "?" "I'm kidding." "A little sex therapist humour." "I'll give you something to..." "calm yourself down a bit." "I wonder when she's going to give a house visit." "It has three speeds." "It's the top of the range model with Kung Fu grip." "Best of luck, Florian." "When you reach the door, grab her." "Those tits are calling me." "Go on!" "What about us?" "Take your medicine." "Next patient." "From now on, Maja and the other girls  will associate Florian with sexual superiority." "I once knew a gigantic girl." "She told me that she always lit a match when it smelled like she'd been to the toilet." "So every time I go for a dump  I light a match." "So what's the big deal?" "Dunno." "I think about her." "I take a crap at least once a day." "S oI think about her every day." "By association." "What's that got to do with Flo and Maja?" "Flo kissed her and got a hard-on." "And Maja saw it." "So each time she sees a hard-on, she will think of Flo." "That's ridiculous!" "It was obvious that she liked it." "Do you want to lose some more money?" "I'll bet anything." "In one week, Maja will be falling at Flo's feet." "Agreed." "Double or quits." "If we win, you will stand in the middle of town... naked." "No problem." "She'll never do it." "Don't I have a say in this?" "No!" "What was that all about?" "I would never have put money on it, if I thought it was Mission:" "Impossible." "I have a perfect plan." "But first, how did you get on?" "I've got the solution here." "You suppose it will work?" "Things like that never work." "You have a tool in your trousers." "Use it, otherwise people will get hurt." "I've got a better idea." "This has been passed down from generation to generation." "Guaranteed to relieve tension." "Just look at those." "Incredible!" "Wow!" "How old is it?" "1953!" "That's old." "It's worth a go." "You're right." "It was really old." "Old!" "This was an heirloom!" "Yes, but..." "These pictures have historical value." "They've probably saved me." "Linda here has helped me through many lovesick nights." "They're not just pictures." "They're old friends." "That's what I mean." "Suppose she was 25 in 1953." "Now, 50 years later, she's 75 years old." "If she's still alive." "That's sick." "That's just the beginning." "Suddenly it came to me  that all those fantastic women were old enough to be grandmothers." "And so I thought about my own grandmother." "What would she think sitting up in heaven looking down at her grandson - trousers down and dick out  staring at pictures of pensioners." "You'd need a crane to get me up!" "Well then..." "have another look at the pictures." "Is this Maja's house?" "Yeah." "It's alright." "The family need someone who can look after grandma." "It's perfect." "Maybe she'll even see your charm." "But I'm lying to her." "I should be more honest." "Do you want her or not?" "You must be the new carer." "Come in." "Thanks for giving me the job." "You?" "Do you know each other?" "Then I'll leave you alone." "Why are you here?" "Grab her tits." "Don't say another word!" "What did you say?" "I'm here to look after your grandma." "You of all people!" "Here's grandma's room." "Call her "Miss Paradis"." "It's hard to tell that she'll be 99 in a couple of days." "She's very sharp." "I'll no doubt be able to cope." "Make sure that she doesn't get any alcohol." "She'll try to get you to get her some." "Keep your hair on." "If something like that goes wrong then it's over." "Hello, grandma." "Here's someone who would like to greet you." "Come." "Mrs..." "Miss Paradis, what are you watching?" "What's it to you?" "Hi, my name's Florian Thomas." "Have you got any beer?" "Beer is bad for you." "But have some of this delicious soup." "Is it beer soup?" "No, it's pea soup." "Definitely pea soup." "Get out of here." "Unless you have beer." "That wasn't very nice." "Don't let the door smack you on the backside on your way out." "Let's get something straight." "We can do this one of two ways:" "The hard way or the easy way." "Your choice." "Uh-oh." "Is everything alright?" "What happened?" "Nothing." "Older prople need care." "They must be handled in a special way." "How nice to hear you say that." "You can have a wash in the bathroom down the hall." "Good idea." "It's a bit hot, so I'm going to put my bikini on." "That was quite obviously an invitation." "What?" "You will see her put on her bikini!" "You're crazy!" "A look through the keyhole won't hurt." "Why else do you suppose she mentioned it?" "Closer." "Show us what you've got, sweetie!" "What's the matter with you?" "I, oh... was admiring the door handle." "Door handle?" "Yes." "In three seconds I'm calling the police." ""Wanda does Wuppertal"" "IN LOVING MEMORY" "I know that you say it's unhealthy to masturbate." "So you don't have to look." "Not now!" "What?" "Shall I come back later?" "I've got dry hands, so I want to put cream on them..." "I need some advice." "What should I do?" "Maja thinks I'm a Peeping Tom." "She will not speak to me." "Then we musy go to plan B." "Is it better than the first one?" "To win the fight, one must infiltrate the enemy." "What's that got to do with Maja?" "She'll become crazy about you." "NEW HOCKEY PLAYERS NEEDED!" "WRITE YOUR NAME HERE:" "Who's Wanda?" "Hey!" "Who's Wanda?" "I don't know a Wanda." "Ah well, she's not turned up." "Here I am!" "Sorry I'm late." "You're Wanda?" "Yes... from Wuppertal." "Yes!" "Wanda!" "Wanda!" "Cheers!" "You have a lovely backside." "I'd like to give it a squeeze." "Are you talking to me?" "You're the only one here with a backside the size of Hawaii." "I'd like to get on one knee and make like a seal in the circus." "What did you say?" "You like it rough?" "You're going to be sorry." "You've really got balls." "You've got balls!" "Yup." "Pussy power!" "Wanda!" "Wanda!" "Wanda!" "That's one round to Wanda?" "You're funny!" "Tell us about yourself." "Is there a man in your life?" "Yes." "He's everything a woman could wish for." "You mean affectionate and good at expressing his feelings?" "Yes." "And he even sits through those silly romantic films with me." "Like "Love Story"?" "What's "Love Story"?" "It's so romantic!" "Imagine a couple wildly in love  who must face up to a massive dilemma." "Then what?" "She dies." "So romantic." "Thinking about it, it's his favourite movie." "He sounds fantastic." " You must stay together." "He's just a good friend." "He's in love with someone else." "Who is she?" "You!" "Isn't that strnage?" "Is that true?" "Who is he?" "Florian Thomas." "Florian Thomas?" "Florian Thomas is so sexist." "You don't really know him." "Let me tell you about the real Florian Thomas." "She's hot." "Tell her you'll tickle her between the legs!" "Shut up!" "I think I might have been wrong." "You'd better aplologise to him." "Yes." "Let's drink to that!" "We are Ströer and we always win we'll make you cry then spit you out and put you on the bench." "Gotta go to the loo." "Well?" "It's a completely different world." "It was divine." "I was groping more arses than a toilet seat and feeling plenty of tits." "When girls go out, they're wild!" "What about Maja?" "She'll be eating out of your hand." "I don't want soup." "I want beer!" "I'm good as new." "Hi." "Thanks for giving me another chance." "How's grandma?" "She's a great little lady." "How sweet." "Now grab hold of that round arse." "What's that?" "That's an unusual bird." "Are you an animal lover as well?" "Isn't everybody?" "This is Sebastian." "He is my father's pride and joy." "He's an Indonesian Cockatoo." "Hello." "You mustn't stick your finger in his cage." "He was only defending himself." "Is he always so agressive?" "Only when he's in his cage." "He's as gentle as a lamb." "He's never bitten anyone before." "Watch out!" "I'll find something to help." "This'll do." "No!" "I'm sorry." "Is this helping?" "It's not like Sebastian to do that." "That's alright." "He was only defending himself." "It was only what comes naturally." "I agree wholeheartedly." "If I could just get hold of the right people who could help us." "I work at an organisation which protects homeless animals." "That sounds really exciting." "Oh yes." "Actually, we have a meeting this evening." "Will you come with me?" "Yes, yes!" "Even better!" "Yeah, why not?" "I've found just the thing for you." ""Blue Sea"?" "What's that?" "Pure powdered oyster." "With no added preservatives." "What do I do with powdered oyster?" "It's an aphrodisiac." "Put some of this on her food, and she'll immediately think about sex." "Sounds good to me." "I don't know..." "You've nothing to lose." "She'll take the bait like a fish." "Are you sure it'll work?" "Yeah." "Tipsy here's a perfect example of what we're trying to achieve." "He was found wandering the streets eating small birds." "He was not himself, so depressed.  that he only sat in the middle of the road  waiting to be run over." "But with your help  he was put on an even keel in only six weeks." "With the help of psychoanalysis, among other things." "At this evening's animal auction, Tipsy will find a loving new home." "Profits from this evening go towards our work." "I'll fix this." "What?" "I'll bid and raise the price." "Right then." "Can I start the bidding at 10 Euros?" "Ten Euros?" "10 Euros from the young man." "Any more bids?" "Sold!" "Sold to the young man down there at the back." "Congratulations!" "You won!" "I'm so proud of you." "I didn't think you'd get the dog." "Hey." "He certainly knows how to move." "He's so happy." "Florian..." "That was really nice of you." "It was nothing." "When I saw him I knew I had to do something." "And all of a sudden, I knew what it was." "Oh no!" "You must do something!" "Tipsy!" "Tipsy!" "I daren't look" "Shit!" "You did it!" "Florian!" "Get lost!" "Hello." "Hello." "Is Wanda home?" "She's asleep." "I'll tell her you were here." "I'm her brother." "Well, she forgot this yesterday." "Thanks." "I didn't know she had a brother." "We're twins." "We wanted to invite Wanda to a party." "A party?" "It's going to be fun, no boys." "Interesting." "It's a tradition, it promises to be really wild." "Sounds like fun." "Last year we got so drunk, we woke up naked the next day." "It was really crazy." "Sounds exciting." "Wanda?" "I'll go and get her." "Come in." "Wanda?" "Wanda?" "She's a heavy sleeper." "Sit down." "Are we disturbing you?" " I was just watching a video." "What film?" ""Love Story."" "Really?" "Yes." "I'll go up and send Wanda straight down." "Wanda?" "What is it?" "Your friends are waiting for you." "Ok." "Oops." "Know what?" "No." "I owe you an apology." "What for?" "I thought that you were just like all the other boys." "They think about nothing but sex." "What's the problem?" "Me?" "Why did you behave so badly with Miss Morgenstern?" "Actually..." "Quick!" "Make something up!" "I get a bit dizzy now and then." "I remember only that I reached out and then I had hold of her." "Lucky you never got hurt." "Yes, it was." "I think I'm a bit lucky too." "Me too!" "Great!" "This isn't "Love Story"." "Hi, girls." "Hi, Wanda." "Let's party!" "I need to go to the toilet." "Ok." "I like her." "Should we go after her?" "Calm down!" "You're not going to wreck this evening." "Don't worry." "Your success is my success." "Put some oyster on her food." "Hold on!" "It's going well without it." "You're not going to lose her." "Do it just to make sure." "Ok, just a bit." "More!" "That wouldn't light a lamp." "That's better." "I'm starving." "Bon appetit." "What's that?" "It must be cheese." "Yeah." "Delicious!" "It tastes good with cheese on." "Want a taste?" "No, thanks." "I've never been to a bar just for ladies." "Good idea." "Yes, this place is a tradition." "Here's to tradition." "Why didn't you say that Red Bull was your brother?" "So dumb." "He's really disgusting." "He's really a straightforward guy." "And really sexy." "Honest!" "And he knows so much" "About what?" "About tha ancient art of satisfying a woman sexually." "Really?" "Yes!" "He knew the Kama Sutra off by heart when he was ten  and tantric sex when he was 15." "And the other day he was learning taoism." "What's that?" "The man satisfying the woman." "He must go for a week until he can orgasm." "Are men like that real?" "Sounds too good to be true." "Yes, and you know what?" "If he wasn't my brother, i'd roll in the hay with him." "Okay, Wanda." "Are you ready?" "Ready for what?" "It's a surprise." "I love surprises." "Maybe I've got a surprise for you as well." "There you go!" "I'm ready for the surprise!" "Oh boy." "People are always pre-judging me." "I know all about that problem." "Peolpe judge me as well" "Why?" "People think I'm stuffy because I don't have a boyfriend." "It's just not true." "I want to find the right guy first." "You know, really be in love with him." "Yes..." "I think a serious relationship ought to have three things:" "First, honesty." "Yes, honesty is most important." "Fidelity is equally important." "Yes." "What's the third thing?" "No sex before marriage." "Only joking!" "You walked into that." "Look out!" "Wanda..." "I'm sorry." "It was nothing." "I'm not like the other girls." "It's just an initiation for new girls." "Some initiation." "Wanda..." "I promise we'll never do that again." "You handled that well." "You really got him up." "I've never seen a stipper get so hard before." "It made me really horny." "Horny?" "About time." "Come to papa." "Come back with my money!" "It's so romantic here." "Yeah." "More powdered oyster!" "Put some in her glass!" "it would be even more romantic to see a shooting star." "More!" "I can't see one." "More!" "There's one." "Where?" "When you see a shooting star, you can make a wish." "Have you got a wish?" "Yes." "What is it?" " Your nose..." "Oh, no, so embarrassing." "I hope I'm not coming down with something." "Excuse me." "Were there any seashells in the food?" "No." "Good, because I'm allergic to seashells." "What, like oysters?" "Oysters are the worst." "When I was little, I all but died from oysters." "Oh no." "I'm sorry." "Well, I'm not going to let it wreck dinner." "Cheers!" "Wait!" "Call a doctor!" "Hey!" "There she is." "I've paid for her." "She's mine!" "Not in front of the customers." "That's what I've paid for." "I've got bad news." "Can I be honest?" "Yes." "There's nothing we can do." "We can only wait." "If she survives, she'll be a vegetable." "Oh, no!" "If she survives." "She will slowly lose herself over the next few days." "It's all my fault." "Yes..." "I know it's a difficult decision, Mr Miller." "Hmm?" "I'm not Miller!" "Oh...sorry." "Well, hello!" "Now we're alone, there's no harm in copping a feel." "Why did you say that?" "She surely needs a bit of care." "Should I get in with her?" "No!" "Just be nice to her." "She needs a massage." "Start with the boobs." "She'll like that." "See for yourself." "Why did you give me powdered oyster?" "I can explain." "Don't bother." "Go away." "Easy come, easy go." "Shut up so I can think!" "What about that nurse with the big tits?" "That's enough!" "Excuse me." "That's alright." "After her!" "No!" "I love Maja." "Listen to yourself." "She really hates you now." "You can beg her for forgiveness, but you won't get any sex." "Or you can be a man and chase destiny." "Halleluja!" "Want something?" "Come in." "Let's talk about it." "I'm not sure I want this." "You are so dumped." "What?" "Can we talk?" "So talk." "Will you untie me?" "No." "Wait." "I've never felt like this for anyone before." "I'm so in love with you, that I'm behaving crazily." "Blame me, for I'm the one to blame." "And I carry the can for that." "If I could only win your trust." "It's now or never." "I accept that." "So you were trying to kill me?" "That wasn't my intention." "I didn't think you'd like me." "So I used powdered oyster." "It's an aphrodisiac." "Not for me." "Sorry." "Can you forgive me?" "You did that for me?" "You look really silly lying there." "Will you come to a party with me?" "Maja's grandma's 99th birthday is a perfect chance to impress her family and friends." "But you don't want to come before Maja." "Just a minute..." "There you go!" " What's that?" "A Plastic Pussy" "A what?" "Plastic Pussy." "Look!" "It's easy to use." "Just stick it in and pump." "It's easier than riding a bike." "And lots more fun!" "Hi." "Hi." "You look great." " Thanks." "So do you." "What's that you've got in your hand?" "My hand?" "Nothing." "Yes, you have." "There you are!" "Come here!" "He's been following you." "I thought we'd lost you." "Tipsy!" "Tipsy!" "We must find him, before he finds my father." "He's so allergic to dogs." "You'll disgrace yourself." "If you keep masturbating, you'll grow hairs on your palms." "You still watching "Love Story"?" "Nooo...." "Go get your sister." "Ok." "Hi, sweetie." "Dad, this is Florian." "Pleased to meet you." "Likewise." "I'm sorry." "That's alright." "Strange." "There's no dogs around, is there?" "No." "I'm sorry, Florian." " No problem." "We must find Tipsy." "Maja!" "Florian!" " Hello, Mrs. Paradys." "This is my sister, Eve." "Not bad." "Let's party!" "Do you want a drink, Florian?" "She's such a slut." "Really?" "Good evening, Maja." "Hi." "You can put them in the hall." "Where's your grandmother?" "She doesn't drink." "Alcohol gives her wind." "Let's find Tipsy." "Is there a lot of alcohol in the drinks?" " Yes." "We should do this again." "What about tomorrow?" "I haven't had this much fun for a long time." "Me neither." "Michelle's got a nice arse." "I'm so jealous." "The water in the pool is nice and warm." "Then it's time for skinnydipping!" "Come on!" "Swim?" "Tipsy." "Tipsy." "Tipsy." "Tipsy." "Can you get some ice from the garage?" "Yes, Mrs Paradys." "A Ferrari!" "My father would swap me, my mother and his birds for that car." "I'll just polish it." "We should get the ice..." "The freezer door's open." "It's defrosted." "Sorry, but you look so funny." "Kiss her." "That'll work." "Perfect timing!" "Grab her arse." "Maja...in the last few days..." "About time." "Tell her to keep going." "That's great." "What is?" "Yeah, just like that." "Tipsy!" "." "Good dive, Louise." "Nice one, Michelle." "Silke, toodle-oo!" "Toodle-oo!" "Silke, bet you can't do a hanstand in the pool." "My mistake!" "Come in, Wanda." "I haven't the figure for it, and I can see from here." "Help!" "Wands, I didn't know your boobs were so big." "I've got water in my bra!" "What's going on?" "Flo had a mishap." "With ice cream." "Bless you, Dad." "There's got to be a dog around here." "Let's use the bathroom upstairs." "Ok." "Where can Tipsy be?" "Ohmigod, where's my plastic pussy?" "Your what?" "What have we here?" "Hello." "Oh my god, thank you!" "I'll take those." "They're mine!" "Let me introduce myself." "However did they get so dirty, young man?" "It was a little mishap." "Can I have them?" "Someone's getting excited." "I'm not excited." "So what's that?" "There you go!" "Hello." "Maja, your girlfriends are here!" "Oh, hello." "I've brought Wanda." "Is that alright?" "Come in." "Where's your boyfriend?" "Wait!" "What are you doing?" "Use your imagination." "I'm sorry I disturbed you." "Maja!" "Wait!" "Forget her." "But I love her!" "Shit!" "Where were we?" "Open up!" "I need the toilet!" " Oh, my god!" "It's grandma!" "If she sees us here, she'll have a heart attack!" "You must hide." "In there?" "Open up!" "I can't hold on much longer!" "What about this?" " Keep it." "Open the damn door!" "Come out!" "Urgh!" "Know what I imagine?" "That a man would come and rip my clothes off" "and give me a regular seeing-to." "No crap." "A bit of honesty would be refreshing." "You agree?" "Yeah." "Your brother, Red Bull, sounds like the type." "The type that knows what a woman wants." "Pity he's not here." "Oh!" "How clumsy of me!" "Be right back!" "Let's find aunt Eve." "Shut up!" "At last!" "Blocked." "Where's the toilet plunger?" "Watch out!" "What's up, Maja?" "Wanda." "Men are pigs." "What happened?" "I surprised Florian with my aunt in the toilet with a vibrator." "Really?" "I mean, really?" "Men are nothing but faithless, sex obsessed pigs!" "Yes, boys will be boys." "Silke!" "I didn't expect to see you here." "Your sister and I have just been talking about you." "How strange." "Where is she?" "It would be refreshing if I just said what I felt." "Felt?" "I don't say much, but I know what a woman wants." "So I'll rip your clothes off and give you a good seeing to." "Pig!" "There you are, Florian." "Have you seen Maja?" "No, but you must help me." "Let me just find Maja first." "Would you be so good as to sit in the room with Grandma?" "She's had rather too much to drink, so don't give her any more." "We trust you." "Thanks, Florian." "Miss Paradys, can I sit here?" "Miss Paradys?" "I can explain..." "I mean..." "Come on." "Shes just a bit tired." "Come on, grandma." "No!" "Tipsy, no!" "Out of my house!" "Give me a beer." "Out!" "Florian." "Maja, I..." "Wait." "Let me just say something first." "At first I thought you were sexist, but then I got to know you." "I thought that you really loved me." "But then I found you with my aunt." "We've misled each other before, and I'm not perfect myself but why pretend." "Aunt Eve will eat you up." "You're hopeless." "I'll never see you again!" "Great, let's go get aunt Eve." "That's the last time you fuck things up for me!" "What now?" "You wouldn't." "You are a monster." "Can't we find another way?" "No!" "You've ruined everything." "It's your fault I nearly poisoned the girl I love." "And if that wasn't enough, you got me together with her aunt!" "In her own house!" "That was an accident." " No it wasn't." "You just want to have sex." "Every single day." "All day!" "Where's the harm in that?" "My life is ruined!" "Without Maja I have nothing." "If I can't have Maja, I don't want you." "I can change!" "Give me a chance!" "It's too late." "Say goodbye!" "Hold on!" "Stopp!" "Is it...?" "I'm still here." "I heard everything." "Maybe we can find a use for him." "Don't you like me?" "No..." "I mean..." "Maja, I love you." "It's just..." "I'll be back in a moment." "What's wrong?" "Isn't this what you wanted?" "Not just with one girl." "I'm too young for monogamy." "Just give me peace for a year." "Three months." "Eight months." "Five months." "Six months." "Six months?" "Okay, but just six months." "Hello!" "Wow!" "You owe me an apology" "Yeah..." "Are you still angry?" "I've thought things over." "Your behaviour wasn't that bad, after all." "Wasn't it?" "You were just being honest, weren't you?" "Yes." "How's the reading going?" "Reading?" "Wanda told me about it." " Well..." "Its the Chinese way..." "Also called the Taoist method." "Talk Chinese to me, you dog!" "What's the surprise?" "You'll see in a minute." "We've got something for your information." "It's their favourite film." "That's so romantic." "Jenny is dead." "I'm sorry." "Love means never having to say you're sorry." "I'm sorry." "How is my mother?" "What's her name?" "Muller" "Ah..." "Translated from Norwegian (badly) by marknotgeorge."