"I grew up slowly, beside the tides and marshes  of a Carolina sea island." "We lived in a small, white house  won by my great-great-grandfather  Winston Shadrach Wingo  in a horseshoe game." "Last one around the tree is a ninny!" "Joop, Joop!" "Come here." "Boys, boys!" "Careful, now." " I'll race you, Tom." " Wait up, Luke." "There are families who live their entire lives  without a single thing of interest happening to them." "Don't run so fast, Tom!" "I've always envied those families." "Luke, mind you, don't torment that dog." "It's my dog!" "Tom, you're gonna step on him." "He's only a pup!" "Here, Joop." "Come here!" "Mom, did you see me run?" "Savannah, you want a bean?" "Boys, you want a bean?" "Quit squealing, Savannah." "You're next, Tom." "The child of a beautiful woman, I was also a shrimper's son  in love with the shape of boats." "Luke, he's pushing me." "I'm not pushing her!" "As a small boy, I loved to navigate my father's shrimp boat  between the sandbars." "I suppose Henry Wingo would have made a pretty good father  if he hadn't been such a violent man." "From my mother, I inherited a love of language  and an appreciation of nature." "She could turn a walk around the island  into a voyage of purest discovery." "As a child, I thought she was the most extraordinary woman on earth." "I wasn't the first son to be wrong about his mother." "I am sick and tired of you never showing me any respect in my own house." "I don't know when my parents began their war against each other." "But I do know the only prisoners they took were their children." "Wait, you guys." "My shoes are falling off!" "Keep up, Savannah." "When my brother, sister and I needed to escape, we developed a ritual." "We found a silent, soothing world where there was no pain." "A world without mothers or fathers." "We would make a circle bound by flesh  and blood  and water." "And only when we felt our lungs betray us, would we rise toward the light  and the fear of what lay in wait for us above the surface." "All this was a long time ago  before I chose not to have a memory." "Daddy!" "I think something bit me!" "Mr. Brighton, are you selling dope to my girls again?" "Stop bugging us, Dad." " Bye, Mr. Brighton." " Come on in." "It's getting late!" "It's a conch." "Bring him home." "I'll send him to college!" "How do you know it's a boy?" "Well, let's examine him." "Girls, have I ever told you the facts of life?" "Oh, no." "Not this again." "Stay away from boys because they're disgusting beasts that pee on bushes and pick their noses." "Gross, Dad!" "That's completely gross." "Anyway, I'm not gonna stay away from boys." "That's the spirit." "Never do what parents tell you." "Hey, Mom, look what I found!" "If you don't quit smoking, you'll die." "That's what they told me at school." "Well, no more school for you." "Mom, Dad's smoking again." "Oh, no." "Well, you know what to do with that." "Put it in the sink." "Give me a kiss." "I wanna play." "You look tired, doctor." "I'll fix you a drink." "That would be so nice." "It's been one of those days." "Hey, honey, it's tough work being a saint." "Sal, can you get it?" "Something smells good." "Hey, Dad." "Come and play with us." "Later." "Your mother's calling from her car." "I'm not here." "Okay, Lila." "She's coming over." "Why didn't you tell her we were under quarantine?" "She said she had to see you." "Dad, they won't share." "Work it out, girls." "Work it out." "She said it was urgent." "She was crying." "I can't remember a day when Lila wasn't crying." "Be nice to her, Tom." "I hate my mother, Sally." "I enjoy hating her." "Don't kill one of the few pleasures in my life." "Can we talk about something else?" " Sure, what?" " Us." "I need a stiff drink for that conversation." "Girls?" " Girls!" " What?" "Anyone want to sit on Daddy's lap?" " There's money involved." " Okay!" "I'm gonna ask you a serious question and I want you to answer honestly." "I know the question." "Who's the greatest human being on this earth?" "Mama?" "I've gotta develop some new routines." "Come on, everybody." "Pick up, now." "Come on, wash." "It's bath time." "Gotta pass inspection." "Lila's coming over." "Lila, Lila, Lila." "Why can't we call her Grandma?" " You'll know when you're a grandma." " I will?" "Pick up and get into that tub." "How does bouillabaisse sound to you?" "Yuck!" "Can't we ever have normal food?" "Do you think we could talk seriously?" "Not now, Sally." "My mother's close." "Can't you tell?" "The air stopped moving." "Sometimes I think all you need is just a good smack across your mouth." "Here she is." "Sally, tie this garlic around my neck." "Do we have to invite her for dinner?" "She won't stay." "You know that." "Then let's invite her." "Lila." "Hello, Sally, dear." "Those shrubs need watering." "Yeah." "I have to do that." " You're looking well, Lila." " Don't be glib, Tom." " Will you be having dinner with us?" " No." "I can't stay long." "What a shame." "Where are the children?" "They're taking baths." "Why?" "I have some bad news." "They canceled your American Express card?" "Your sister tried to kill herself again." "You wanna make another joke?" "Oh, my God, Lila." "When?" "I'm not sure." "She was in a coma when they found her." "How is she now?" "She's alive, thank God." "I spoke to her psychiatrist." "Some Jewish woman in New York." "She wants one of us to go up there right away." "I told her you'd go." "If she's a shrink and a Jew, you can't go?" "I didn't say that." "I'm just not entirely sure I'd be welcome." "Savannah will probably blame me." "My children blame me for everything." "Do I detect a note of guilt, Mama?" "Don't give me that psychological horseshit." "Why don't you just say it?" "I'm responsible for all your problems including you not having a job." "Let's hit way below the belt!" "Don't pretend you didn't start this." "I just can't go right now." "It's your stepfather's birthday this weekend." "I can't go either." "I gotta wash out Sally's pantyhose." "I'm going to the cleaners." "Why don't you get a job as a standup comedian?" "It pays better than teaching did." "Which was far beneath me." "Right?" "Beneath your abilities, yes." "What do you know about my abilities, for chrissake?" "Just stop it, now, the both of you!" "I'm sorry you're hurting." "You wanted to talk?" "It can wait." "Let's walk." "Tell me what you're thinking." "I'm trying to calculate the exact moment everything got so fucked up." "I'm also worried the Braves are gonna finish last." "I don't feel like laughing." "Oh, come on, Sally." "Come on." "Do you know that this is the first time you have touched me in weeks?" "My life's a mess, Sally." "Our life's a mess, Tom." "Look, there's the Big Dipper." "I don't give a shit about the Big Dipper!" "Damn it, I care about us." "I care about why you keep pushing me away." "I thought you said this could wait." "I've been waiting for two years, Tom." "Ever since Luke died." "I know how you feel about him." "I just don't know how you feel about me anymore." "Don't take it personally." "I don't know how I feel about anything anymore." "God, you're pathetic." "Don't blame it on us." "Blame it on Con Ed!" "Get this truck out of here." "Come on, I'm in a hurry!" "I've got a doctor's appointment." "Hey, lady!" "What are you honking at me for?" "It was only my sister who could force me to come to this God-awful city." "This city that roars down on you." "She loved it all." "The muggers, the winos  the bag ladies, the wall-to-wall noise." "She loved it because it had nothing to do with our childhood." "Luke and I hated it for exactly the same reason." "You're..." "Hello." "I'm Dr. Lowenstein." "You must be Tom." "Yes, ma'am." "Why don't you come in?" "You can leave your things there." "Am I supposed to lie down on the couch, or are we gonna make polite chitchat?" "How about a cup of coffee?" "Oh, we're gonna make polite chitchat first." "Was that yes or no to the coffee?" "It's a yes, ma'am." "Cream and sugar?" "And you don't have to call me ma'am." "That's my good home-training, and I'm a little nervous." "Cream, no sugar." "Why do you think you're nervous?" "I get nervous every time my sister tries to kill herself." "It's a quirk." "A quirk?" "I'm sorry." "I was being cynical." "It's a family trait." "Oh, I don't think Savannah's cynical." "No?" "She's suicidal." "I wish she was cynical." "How is my sister?" "She's out of physical danger, but..." "When can I see her?" "You have to wait until tomorrow." "Why can't I go now?" "She's very agitated today." "We're trying to quiet her down." "I think it would be too upsetting." "Wouldn't upset me." "No, but it might upset her." "How's your coffee?" "Is it hot enough?" "It'll do." "In Savannah's poems are you the shrimper or the coach?" "The coach." "Luke's the shrimper, or was." "Savannah's last suicide attempt was right after his death, correct?" "Yeah, she had a few bad days over it." "Were there other times?" "I don't know." "There might have been another time when we were young, but I'm not sure." "How are you getting paid?" "Why change the subject?" "Because I don't like it much." "Is it okay if I smoke?" "I'd prefer it if you didn't." "How well do you know your sister's poetry?" "I said I was a coach, Lowenstein, not an orangutan." "I was also an English teacher." "I know her poetry." "She's my twin." "I know it a hell of a lot better than you do." "You don't like psychiatrists, do you?" "What good do you people do?" "You ask a lot of questions." "I'm sick of this whole damn routine." "I'm sick of my sister's attraction to razorblades." "And I'm sick of shrinks who can't do a fucking thing to help her." "I don't know if I can help her either." "But I do know I'm not gonna give up trying." "Why not?" "Maybe she just wants to die too damn much." "And that's okay?" "You sound resigned to losing her." "Hell no, it's not okay with me." "Yeah, but I am resigned." "Then I don't think you can help me with Savannah." "I'm sorry you had to come all this way." "What do you want from me?" "Information." "You see, I've only been Savannah's doctor for a few months." "There's so much more I need to know about her." "I need to hear about her childhood, and she can't tell me because she's blocked portions of her life out." "Blotted out." "So I need you to be her memory, in a sense and fill in the missing details." "I've spent my life trying to forget those missing details." " I beg your pardon?" " I..." "God, she's a pain in the ass." "What time tomorrow?" "I'll meet you at the hospital at noon." "Do you have a headache?" "A doozy." "You wouldn't have any morphine handy, would you?" "Morphine?" "That's a joke, Lowenstein." "Come on, get out of the way, kid." "You're gonna get hurt." "Screw you, man." "You gonna help me with the bags?" "You out of your mind?" "I ain't helping you with no bags." "Come on, move!" "Get out of the way, huh?" "Yo, taxi!" "Shit!" "Shit!" "Move your ass an inch and you can kiss it goodbye." "Hi, Eddie." "Go ahead and shoot, I've had a rotten day." "Tom!" "You should have told me you were coming." "The gun, Eddie, the gun." "I'm sorry." "Savannah and I have been robbed twice this year." "They're leaping from fire escapes." "One landed on my air conditioner." "I greased my windowsills." "That didn't help." "I love New York." "Tell me about it." " How's Andrew?" " Gone." "Said he needed space, so he found a younger man with a duplex." "It's his loss, Eddie." "Bless you." "Savannah was an angel." "I practically lived over here." "So you're alone now, huh?" "Unless I can tempt you into crossing the line while you're here." "I got enough troubles, Eddie." "Actually, you look terrible, Tom." "You're not even cute anymore." "If that's your idea of seduction, no wonder you're alone." "Well, it isn't easy." "Did you know Savannah was seeing a psychiatrist?" "Of course." "I recommended her." "She's a friend of mine." "It was a bitch washing it out." "You found her?" "We've been giving her 50 mgs three times a day." "I'd bring it down to 25." "Don't expect too much." "Dr. Lowenstein, I need to see you." "Hey, Savannah." "Hey, darling." "It's me." "Tom." "I have a cancellation, so why don't you meet me here at the hospital in 45 minutes, okay?" "I'm on the third floor." "What the hell is going on here?" "Why is she strapped down?" "Her team felt she had to be restrained..." "Why?" "She has enough drugs to anesthetize a whale!" " Her team decides..." " Quit calling them her team!" "Sounds like she's trying out for the Giants." "What should I call them?" "Let's be creative." "Call them assholes." "Let me tell you something about those assholes." "I'm grateful because they saved your sister's life." "I don't like..." "I don't care what you like." "She's still a threat to herself." "There's no point to this unless we keep Savannah alive." "And I don't care if it takes drugs or voodoo or reading tarot cards I want her alive." "Do you understand me?" "When I'm not picking straw out of my teeth, I'm a very smart man." "I'm sorry." "I didn't mean to sound condescending." "You're tough, Lowenstein and I'm starving." "Any interest in lunch?" "Only if you let me pay." "Oh, I insist." "I wouldn't have objected to Lutèce or Le Cirque." "Their chili isn't as good." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Tell me something." "Why didn't your father answer my telegram?" "Dad only likes good news." "Besides, the shrimp are running good." "And your mother?" "Why didn't she come?" "She was the one I spoke to." "Priorities." "My mother's too busy hiring a caterer for my stepfather's birthday." "Do you always make jokes in place of conversation?" "It's the Southern way, ma'am." "The "Southern way"?" "My mother's immortal phrase:" ""When things get too painful, we either avoid them or we laugh."" "When do you cry, according to the Southern way?" "We don't." "Jesus, even Sally makes better chili than this." " I have a good recipe." "Interested?" " No, thanks." "I never cook." "What the hell is it with you doctors?" "Does "Callanwolde" mean anything to you?" "No." "Why?" "Savannah kept repeating it when she first came out of the coma." ""Callanwolde, Callanwolde." No?" "I don't know." "I have to get back to the hospital." "It's late." "I can't see you tomorrow till about 7:30." "Okay?" "Lowenstein!" "What's your first name?" "Why?" "Why not?" "It's just that my patients call me Dr. Lowenstein." "But I'm not your patient." "Susan." "Thank you, doctor." "I won't use your name." "I just wanted to know it." "Be on time." " Eight bucks a pound." " Eight bucks a pound?" "For shrimp?" " Are they fresh?" " Yeah!" "They're today's." "They're gorgeous." " I'll take a pound." " Let me at the scale." "Shrimp Newburg?" "For chrissakes, Lila, it's got wine in it!" "It's garbage!" "It's elegant food, Henry." "And it's gonna get me into Colleton League." "That's a joke." "Why do you think they got a Colleton League?" "To keep people like you out." "Joop!" "Why do you want to join anyway, Mama, if they don't want you?" "Of course they want me." "They just don't know it yet." "Even the dog won't eat it." "Goddamn it!" "I work hard all day long to come home and eat this shit?" "I think it's good." " Who asked you?" " Nobody." "Nobody." "Tip your head up, boy." "You ain't gonna cry, are you?" "What did I tell you about crying?" "What did I tell you about crying in this house?" "Put the hands in your lap." "Sit up straight!" "Come on, sit up straight." "You gonna cry now?" "Savannah, get this little girl one of your dresses." "Why are you so mean?" "Henry, why don't I get you another supper?" "There's leftover hash and rice." "I'll heat it up." "Give me a hand, Tom." "You go out in the kitchen with the rest of the girls." "Bully on somebody your own size." "Can't anyone take a joke around here?" "I'll help, Mama." "I want you to melt this butter, Savannah." "Heat up this rice." "You chop that onion into fine little pieces, Tom." "And the Yankees are back out in front." "I'm sorry, Mama." "There's nothing to be sorry for." "Marry into nothing, you get nothing." "Add some pepper, Tom." "Hand me that Worcestershire sauce." "Your mouth is hanging open, child." "Nice and spicy." "All I want is a good, plain American meal!" "Here you go, darling." "Now, this is food, Lila." "Eat up, children." "So your mother fed him dog food, huh?" "He even asked for a second helping." "Maybe you got your sense of humor from your mother." "Very funny." "She called today, very concerned about Savannah." "Don't believe a word she says." "She's a liar." "That's interesting." "She said you'd tell lies about her." "That figures." "I saw Herbert Woodruff come out of your office." "He sure can play the fiddle." "You're changing the subject." "What's wrong with him?" "Just kidding." "I can't believe anybody with that kind of money has troubles." "Are you really that provincial?" "Oh, hell, yes." "So is Savannah." "When we were kids, the only way to get off our island was by boat." "We grew up on a tidal plain." "A tidal plain?" "What does that mean?" "Tides mean everything, Lowenstein." "They measure everything." "Moods, seasons, the time to plant to fish, to mate." "It's primitive." "Biological clocks ticking all over the place." "Sounds like a nice way to live." "What else did she say, my mother?" "She said that she was the one who encouraged Savannah to become a poet." "Is that true?" "Jesus Christ!" "That woman has no shame." "Wanna know how she encouraged Savannah?" " By burning her childhood journals." " Why'd she burn them?" "Because Savannah was being disloyal, writing about our hideous family." "What's hideous about your family?" "Are you asking me to be disloyal?" "If that's what it takes to help Savannah, yes." "Aren't we about done?" "What time is it?" "We still have a few more minutes." "What did Savannah do after your mother burned her journals?" "She took her fingers, and she wrote in the sand." "And then she wrote in the air." "She wrote poetry so mother wouldn't understand it." "In a sense, your mother helped to create a poet." "Bullshit, Lowenstein." "She created a schizophrenic." "My mother should've raised cobras, not children." "Can you tell me anything good about your parents?" "No." "Try." "They did two really good things:" "Luke and Savannah." "Incredible people." "Passionate, defiant, not for sale." "What about you?" "Oh, I was a courteous Southern boy that did what he was told." "I was responsible and normal and dull." "I don't know what normal is, and you're anything but dull." "Compared to them, I was." "Your sister's in the hospital, and your brother's dead." "You must be doing something right." "You can go now." "Time's up." "Good night." ""Women and men Both little and small" "Cared for anyone not at all" "They sowed their isn't They reaped their same" "Sun, moon, stars, rain" "Children guessed But only a few" "And down they forgot As up they grew."" "So this began a series of confessional days  when I spun out the history of Savannah's past  in order to keep her alive." "By the second week, I'd developed the New York willies." "The guilt that every out-of-towner feels  if he's not improving his mind every goddamn second." "I made a list of things I should do." "Museums, plays, run six miles in under 50 minutes." "See three foreign films all at the same time." "Anything not to feel guilty." "Tom, how old was Savannah when you first realized  something was wrong with her?" "About 7 or 8." "Anything specific happen?" "My mother had a baby at home." "It was stillborn." "She told us it died because we were bad." "Anyway, we were gonna bury it the next day so Dad wrapped it in some towels and put it in the freezer." "That night, I got up to get a drink of water and I saw Savannah sitting in the rocking chair with the dead baby in her arms." "She was saying "You're the lucky one because you don't have to live with us."" "Did you say anything to her?" "The next day I did, but she didn't remember anything about it." "When I told her, she said "Why would anyone do a crazy thing like that?"" "So you were her memory even then?" "I guess so." "Goddamn locks!" "I'm coming!" "I'm coming!" "What was that again?" "I'm learning to speak the language of the natives here." "Hi, Sally." "How's it going down there?" "It's just sort of blowing up a storm." "I got the girls' drawings." " Did they get my letters?" " Yes, and they loved them." "Good!" "Did you get my letter?" "Tom?" "It's not a good idea for you to come home this weekend." "Why not?" "I'm just not sure that I want to see you right now." "I have a lot to figure out." "What's the point, Tom?" "I mean, let's face it  we don't make each other feel good anymore." "Right." "Look I didn't want to tell you this on the telephone." "I wanted to tell you before you left." "But the way you left there wasn't any time." "What did you want to tell me, Sally?" "What's his name?" "What's his name, Sally?" "The man must have a name." "Jack Cleveland." "Oh, no." "Oh, no!" "Oh, Jesus, Sally!" "Jack Cleveland?" "That aging, pompous hippie from the hospital who still rides a motorcycle?" "Oh, for chrissakes, Sally!" "Why him?" "Why him?" "Because he knows how he feels about me." "Oh, Sally." "This is too difficult to talk about over the phone." "Just think about it carefully, okay?" "I hardly think about anything else." "Good night, Tom." "What?" "Are you really in love?" "I'm not sure." "I might even be doing this to hurt you." "I gotta go." "Dear Sally:" "I wish the words, "I love you"  weren't so difficult for me." "I've missed you." "I miss touching you." "I don't know what keeps me at such a distance." "I'm sorry I disappoint you, Sally  but you're right to feel that way." "How else could you react to half a man?" "How could you not be disappointed?" "Hell, I seem to disappoint anyone who tries to find the best in me." "Tom?" "Ma'am?" "Come on in here." "Come on, lie beside me." "Come on." "You're the only Wingo who's gonna amount to something." "Luke can't do it, because he isn't smart." "Savannah can't, because she's just a girl." " But Luke's smart, Mama." " Not like you." "Or me." "Nobody knows this yet but I'm an amazing woman." "Do you believe that?" "Yes, ma'am." "I'm not gonna die in a house like this." "I promise you that." "Something else, Tom." "I love you more than I love any of them." " But, Mama!" " I do." "I can't help it." "You're my favorite." "That's gonna be our little secret." "You keep a secret?" "Yes, ma'am." "Can I go now?" "Not till you tell me you love me." "I love you, Mama." "It took me 20 years to tell Luke and Savannah about my secret." "And when I did, they just fell on the floor, howling." "My mother took each of them into that room and told them exactly the same thing." "Why did you tell me that story?" "To prove that Lila Wingo would..." "Just to show why Savannah could never trust her." "You mean why you could never trust her." "I'm sorry." "That's the wrong story." "Let's just skip it and I'll try to think of a better one." "What's bothering you?" "Global warming, acid rain, the national debt..." "And my wife's having an affair with a heart surgeon in South Carolina." "Jesus!" "I feel like such an idiot." "I never even knew it was going on." " Maybe you weren't paying attention." " Bullshit!" "Let's face it, Lowenstein." "Women are more devious than men." "You're great at hiding things." "You keep secrets." "You smile when you lie." "You expect a man to be a tower of strength." "When he's got a few weaknesses and insecurities what do you do?" "You turn around, and goddamn it, you betray him!" "You feel that your mother betrayed you?" "I was talking about my wife!" "Oh, God, I hate this Freudian crap." "It's not your job to listen to my problems." "I'd like to go." "You're free to leave anytime." "Good!" "Goddamn shrink." "Who was I kidding?" "I was a champion at keeping secrets." "Better than any woman." "Until Susan Lowenstein came along." "A man who never talked  now is doing nothing else." "Her questions making me as dizzy as her perfume." "Excuse me." "Would you like to dance?" "Who, me?" "Yes, you." "Come on." "Come on, just loosen up!" "Hands to yourself!" "He's spoken for." "How's Savannah?" "When can I see her?" "I don't know, Eddie." "It's like talking to a fern." "Well, I'm glad she's improving." "Come on, let's dance." "Give me a break, Eddie." "I'm a lousy dancer." "Walk on the wild side." "You're in the big city." "Oh, hell." "All right..." "God, you are a lousy dancer!" "Go mingle." "Get in here." "Get into the party." "Where are my chairs?" "I found four of them, and I have a lead on another two." "Roberta, have I got a settee for you!" "Don't laugh." "You're laughing!" "I'm sorry." "I'm surprised to see you here." "Why?" "I like Eddie." "You know, I..." "You really pissed me off today." "But you made me think about some things." "Don't make it a habit, or I'll have to charge you." "Oh, we do have a sense of humor!" "I was beginning to think you had it surgically removed." "You look mighty pretty tonight." "Thank you." "Are you all right?" "Oh, God, I'm great." "I'm just great." "Now that I finished lying, can I ask you to dance?" "You'd be the first woman I've danced with in New York." "I'd rather not." "Come on, Lowenstein." "Walk on the wild side." "It's a party." "Come on." "Don't worry, I can't dance and make a pass at the same time." "I lose count." "You came alone?" "Yeah, it's funny." "I never went anywhere alone until I got married." "Well, that speaks well for matrimony." "No, it's just that my husband travels a lot." "What does he do?" "You know, it's late." "I really should go." "I'll take you home." "No, it's okay." "I'm fine." "I'm a Southerner, ma'am." "We take our ladies home." "How do you do it?" "How do you listen to people's sob stories?" "Doesn't it depress you?" "No, not if I think I can help them." "Anyway, you learn to separate your patients' problems from your own." "Now yours, I think I could handle." "Oh, yeah?" "Don't be so sure." "Tell me something." "Did you ever wanna write like Savannah?" "You're changing the subject, Lowenstein." "Am I?" "It's a technique I'm learning from you." "There he is again." "You see him?" "That guy is following me." "So you're a shrink to the stars, huh?" "He's not my patient." "He's my husband." "No kidding?" "Herbert-fucking-Woodruff is your husband?" "Herbert Woodruff is my husband, yes." "How'd you meet him?" "I saw him perform at Carnegie Hall." "I was 22 years old." "I had never heard anything like it." "I mean, that kind of passion, artistry, whatever you call it." "It's like Savannah's." "They have that gift to make people feel." "I fell in love with him instantly." "So you married him, and then you lived happily ever after, huh?" "I married him." "Are you telling me that mine isn't the only screwed up union?" " I'm not telling you anything more." " Wait." "No fair." "I spill my guts." "I tell you my marriage is full of holes." "But you got nothing to say?" "I think it's your turn to give a little." "Come on, Lowenstein, be human." "Talk to me." " Tell me about yourself." " I can't." "Why are there never any cabs?" "I'll ask you a few simple questions, and you just answer." " Simple?" " Very simple." " What's your father's name?" " Douglas." "What's your favorite car?" "I like old Ford Woodies." "Good!" "Who's the first boy you ever kissed?" "Dick Berkowitz." "He was very cute." "Do you have any idea how beautiful you look in that suit?" "Is this "Make Lowenstein Feel Better Day"?" "And you got a great smile." "You should smile more." " Stop." " You don't believe me, do you?" "Come here." "Let me show you something." "Come here." "Let me show you." " A painting?" " No, you." "Look at you." "You." "Your face, your smile, your suit." "I'm talking great stuff here." "Beautiful." "Okay, you convinced me." "Now, would you please get me a cab?" "Come up for a minute." "I'd like you to meet my son." "Sure." "Okay." "Come on in." "Bernard?" "I'd like you to meet a friend." "How do you do?" "Mind stepping out of the way?" "Oh, excuse me." "Mr. Wingo is a football coach, Bernard." "Oh, yeah?" "Dad called from Vienna today." "Said to say hi to you when I saw you." "Did you practice this afternoon?" "No, I've been too busy watching TV." "You're being rude, Bernard." "No, he's being a teenager." "I used to be one myself." "No kidding?" "Where are you from?" "Your accent's weird." "South Carolina." "Is this TV or..?" "I'm trying to watch this movie." "All right, it's late." "Come on." "It's time for bed, Bernard." "Let's go." "Turn down the TV and go to bed." "I'll see you, Bernard." "I'm sorry that he was so rude to you." "You don't have to apologize, Lowenstein." "Teenagers, by definition, are not fit for society." "That's true." "Bernard wants to play football." "That's why I brought you to meet him." "I thought that maybe you could coach him a couple of days a week." "You see, he never gets a chance to play while his father's around." "Herbert's on tour." "I thought maybe..." "Is this a job offer?" "Yes, and I would insist on paying you." "What would you consider a reasonable rate?" "What are your rates?" "I charge $150 an hour." "Fine, I'll take it." "You must be a very good coach." "Forget it, Lowenstein." "I'm not a charity case yet." "Tell Bernard we'll start Monday." "Good." "Good night." "First rule of thumb, Bernard." "Never be late." "I didn't want to come anyway, okay?" "Your mother thinks you want to play." "Is that true?" "Maybe, maybe not." "Where do you coach, Mr. Wingo?" "Hillbilly country?" "We're a little class-conscious, are we?" "Do you go to Miss Porter's?" "Phillips Exeter, smart-ass." "You didn't get to play last year, did you?" "How'd you know?" "Because any snot-nosed punk that would dare call his coach a smart-ass wouldn't get to haul water, let alone play." "With your attitude, you belong in the bleachers, kid." "When you get ready to play football, get my number from your mother." "Catch." "You need help." "This is not an attractive look for a middle-aged man." "You can take me shopping." "Did you ever hear of Renata Halpern?" "No, who is she?" "I don't know, but she writes poems about growing up Jewish in Brooklyn." "Was she staying with Savannah recently?" "Not that I know of." "Of course, I've been out of town a lot." "Bloomingdale's on Saturday, big boy." "Coach Wingo?" "You know, yesterday, I..." "You know, I..." "I accept your apology, Bernard." "I didn't play last year, because I never made the team." "They made fun of me." "If I coach you, I promise they won't make fun of you." "But you gotta promise something." "You gotta shut up, Bernard." "Your mouth pisses me off." ""Yes, sir" is the way to address me." "First thing we'll do is follow certain courtesies." "You'll do whatever I tell you and do it with enthusiasm." "I'm gonna teach you to play football well." " I'll run your ass off every day." " I have my violin lessons." " Shut up, Bernard." " Yes, sir." "After I run you till you drop, make you lift weights tackle till your arms cramp something will happen to you that's never happened in your life." "What's that, sir?" "You're gonna be happy, kid." "Keep moving." "Move them." "Hit it!" "Come on!" "Get up." "Drop that leg." "Roll." "Drop this leg." "Roll." "That's it." "All right, let's see that smile." "Do it again with a smile." "Cross." "Back." "Cross." "That's it." "Cross them over." "Cross!" "Bring this shoulder out." "This shoulder." "Keep your eyes on the ball." "Concentrate!" "Come on, Bernard." "Get your hands up." "Get it." "Look behind!" "Turn around and run!" "You're the greatest person in the whole world, Daddy." "What?" "I don't even get the pleasure of asking the questions anymore?" " When you coming home, Daddy?" " Soon." "Well, if you miss my birthday, I'm gonna kill you." "Chandler, how could I miss your birthday?" "I was there the day you pushed your way into the world." "I want an alligator!" "You go down to the marsh and you get one." "I want a stuffed alligator so he can sleep in bed with me." "Now, that's a dangerous habit to get into, kiddo." "Is Mama there?" "Daddy wants to talk to you." "Oh, hi, Sal." "I want to come home for Chandler's birthday." "It would only be..." "We'd all be upset if you didn't come, Tom." "Oh, good." "Well, thanks, Sally." "Okay." "I'll talk to you." "Bye." "All right." "Bye-bye." "Hustle." "Hustle." "Hustle!" " You got a broken cigarette." " You gonna take it away?" "So this became my routine." "Coaching Bernard in the morning  and in the afternoon, telling the Wingo family secrets to his mother." "And looking forward to telling them." "Or looking forward to seeing her." "It's as if Savannah has some kind of a splinter that she's neglected." "It festers." "It festers inside you until you you get it out." "You know what I mean?" "The stories you're telling me are helping her remember and I'm very proud of the work we're doing." "Know what I mean?" "Time's up." "Out." "Lowenstein." " Here." "Catch." " My nails!" " Throw me the ball." " Throw you the ball?" "Coach, are you trying to kill yourself?" "I'm not quitting, Bernard." "You hear?" "Then I'll smoke." "No, you're not smoking." "You're not smoking." "Then throw them out." "All right." "I will." "All of them." "All right." "All right!" " Congratulations." "How do you feel?" " I feel better already." "You know, it's an art form to hate New York properly." "No, it's not." "It's a cliché." "You're not such a dumb kid after all." "Let's go to the bookstore." "It's my daughter's birthday." "She wants an alligator." "There's a crocodile in Peter Pan." "Think she'll buy it?" "It's my mom's birthday next week." "I bet you got her exactly nothing." "Come on, we'll see if we can find her something." "Shit!" "Shit." "Who is Renata Halpern, and what's she got to do with my sister?" "Sit down and cool off." "You knew about this, didn't you?" "It's difficult to conduct a session..." "This is not a session!" "I'm asking you a question." "You're doing a shitty job of evading it." "Who wrote this?" "What's so disturbing?" "That's not the issue." "Why didn't you tell me?" "It wasn't my place to..." "You're a piece of work." "I tell you everything, and you withhold important information!" " Maybe you're withholding." " This is not about me!" "Then why are you so upset?" "I don't like being lied to." "I don't like secrets." "I could report you." "Have your license suspended." "Stop acting like a petulant child." "You haven't answered my question." "Who wrote this book?" "You tell me." "I will." "My sister wrote it." "It's all about my goddamn family." "If my mother read it, she'd rip out Savannah's pancreas." "Why?" "Why would she do that?" "What are you hiding?" "I don't answer any more questions till you answer mine." "Then why don't you sit down and listen." "That is, if you're not too exhausted by your temper tantrum." "Shit!" "When Savannah came to see me, she told me her name was Renata Halpern." " She's even crazier than I thought." " Shut up, or I won't continue." "She said her father was a furrier and both parents were Holocaust survivors." "She couldn't fool me about being Jewish, but what fascinated me was why she chose to be the child of survivors." "What was she trying to survive?" "What is she trying to survive?" " How would I know?" " I think you do." "You're supposed to be answering my questions." "Why'd she do it?" "Writing made her want to be someone else." " That was okay with you?" " It was not okay." "I said unless she resolved her own problems, she wouldn't have a chance." "Is that what people pay you to do?" "Turn them into someone else?" "You're not listening!" "What do you think I'm doing here every day?" " Complaining!" "Avoiding!" " Fuck you, Lowenstein!" "Fuck you, Sigmund Freud and Renata Halpern." "It makes me sick!" "Your reaction makes me sick!" "How do you expect me to react?" "What if I'd done the same to your son?" "It's not the same thing!" "I'll make him a Presbyterian quarterback!" "It's quite different." "My son didn't try to kill himself." "Give him time, Lowenstein." "Give him time!" "You son of a bitch!" "My God, I'll go get you some ice." "I see a malpractice suit coming out of this, doctor." "I am so embarrassed." "What a day." "I get dropped by a dictionary and I find out my sister's become a Brooklyn Jew." "Here." "Here." "I don't need that." "I'd rather bleed to death." "Just be quiet and take it." "After you've stopped bleeding, I'll take you to dinner." "No chili today." "This time it's gonna cost you." "This is therapy, huh?" "Yeah, pretty bloody, isn't it?" "I still can't believe I did that to you." "Face it, Lowenstein." "I bring out the animal in you." " I owe you an apology." " I accept." " That was a terrible thing to say." " Yes." "I know it." "Jesus." "Thank you for accepting." "Would you like to order now?" "We would like to order now." "Do you want me to order for you?" "I eat here all the time." "How am I supposed to trust a woman who can't even cook?" "Just because I can't cook doesn't mean I can't eat." "Go ahead." "I'll do anything to make you happy tonight." "I think we'll start with the artichaut garni de champignons au safran." "And pour monsieur..." "La mousse de canard aux bales sauvages." "And then we'll have the soupe de poisson au crabe." "Delicious." "And for our main course, râble de lapin." "The rabbit is superb." "God, there's nothing sexier than a beautiful woman ordering food in French." "Read me the whole menu." "Are you flirting with me?" "Yeah, I think I am." "I'd like you to find me attractive, bloody nose and all." "I'd like to ask you about Savannah." "Don't you ever take a night off?" "You said you'd do anything to make me happy." "Just one thing." "Savannah told me her children's book came out of a dream." "More like a nightmare." "Images in it terrorized her, but she didn't know why." "Like the three stray dogs." "What do you think it means?" "Lowenstein, you're incorrigible." "We're at a wonderful restaurant and you want me to interpret my sister's dreams?" "You wanna interpret dreams?" "Do mine." "I had a great one about you last night." "You had a dream about me?" "You wanna hear?" "I'm not sure." "Don't worry." "This one's G-rated." "This one?" "Tell me." "There was a blinding snowstorm right here in New York City." "I went out for a walk, and I ran into you." "We decided to go to the Rainbow Room." "No one was there." "So we started to slow dance." "What do you think it means?" "You said it was a snowstorm?" "Blinding snowstorm?" "Maybe there's something you're afraid to see." "Maybe I wanna get to know you better." "Maybe you're trying to snow me." "Maybe I have cold feet." "Maybe you just miss winter." "Move those legs." "Move them!" "That's it." "Get in position." "Keep your head up." "Come!" "Is that my son?" "Is that you in there, Bernard?" "I don't think this was such a good idea." "Stop being a Jewish mother." "I am a Jewish mother." "I brought sandwiches." "Oh, good." "I'm starving." "I got delicious ones here." "Take a break." "Great." "I got one for you." "Slave away in the kitchen all day making those?" "I bought them as usual." "Would you like one?" "No, I'm not hungry." "So can I watch you play?" "I promise I won't be overprotective." "I don't feel like playing anymore." "Let's toss the ball around for a few minutes." "Am I a trained seal?" "I gotta do what she wants?" "Oh, you got it tough, kid!" "Let's lie in the grass and cry for all the terrible misfortune in your life." "You're a jerk every time my mother's around." "Are you trying to impress her?" "You're out of line." "You're mad at me, not him." "Save that crap for your patients, Mom." "He's right, you know." "He's absolutely right." "I don't know how to talk to him." "Maybe you should try a new approach." "What's that?" "Laugh, Lowenstein, laugh." "The Southern way?" "If that doesn't work, then you bop him on the head." "What do you think of me?" "Well, I think you have it made." "You're rich." "You live like a queen." "Your kid needs some work but overall, you're in the top 1 percent." "You're lying." "I think you're a very sad woman, Lowenstein." "I like it when you tell the truth." "I think you're the first friend I've made in a long time." "Come on." "Let's go to the movies." " The movies?" " Yeah, come on." "Rare footage from the Savannah Wingo archives." "How wonderful!" "Where did you find this?" "I was snooping around." "Savannah must've kept them." "Is that Luke?" "Yeah, that's Luke." "He was always horsing around." "Je bent niet kwaad op hem, maar op mij." "Hou dat gezeik maar voor je patiënten." "Hij heeft groot gelijk, weet je." "Ik kan niet met hem praten." "Probeer 's een nieuwe benadering." "Lachen, Lowenstein." " De 'Southern Way'?" "En als dat niet werkt, 'n knai voor z'n hoofd." "Hoe zie je mij, Tom?" "Je hebt 't gemaakt." "Je leeft als 'n vorstin." "Je zoon is wat problematisch, maar verder:" "Prima." "Je liegt." "Je bent 'n beklagenswaardige vrouw." "Ik hoor graag de waarheid van je." "Je bent m'n eerste vriend sinds tijden." "Kom, we gaan 'n film kijken." "Uit 't archief van Savannah Wingo." " Leuk, waar heb je dat vandaan?" "Savannah had ze thuis liggen." " Is dat Luke?" "Die was altijd aan 't ravotten." "Dit is ons examen." "De lagere school?" "Zwom je altijd met kleren aan?" "Inderdaad." "En dat is je moeder Lila?" " Ja, Miss Lila." "Ze was erg mooi." " Nog steeds." "Wie filmde dit?" " M'n vader." "Hij wou stoppen met vissen en rijk worden van filmen." "Vraag niet hoe." "Hij leed toch alleen verlies?" "'N Omgekeerde koning Midas was ie." "Wat hij aanraakte werd stront." "Wat is dat nou?" " Ook zo'n mooi idee van m'n vader." "Die tijger moest klanten trekken, maar hij joeg ze juist weg." "Alleen Luke was niet bang voor dat beest." "Hij voerde 'm, verzorgde hem..." "Hij was erg moedig." " En jij?" "Lk hoefde niet, ik had Luke." "Dit is ons eiland." "'T Enige bezit van Pa." "'T Was waardeloos." "Maar niet voor Luke." "'T Was zijn dierbaarste plekje." "Hij vocht in Vietnam en kwam terug als held." "Hij zwoer er nooit meer weg te gaan." "Deed hij ook niet." "Wat gebeurde er?" "Na de scheiding kreeg m'n moeder 't eiland." "Ze verkocht het meteen." "Ze wilden er 'n centrale bouwen." "Luke was woest, begon te dreigen." "De overheid lachte erom." "Hij blies 'n bouwterrein op." "Toen lachten ze niet meer." "En toen?" "Hij vocht door, er vielen 'n paar gewonden." "We wilden 'm tegenhouden, maar 't was te laat." "Kogel door 't hoofd." "Wil je wat kouds drinken?" "Bier?" "Hoe verwerkte je zijn dood?" " Ik knapte af." "En geen traan, natuurlijk." "Ik hull wel 's." "Op bruiloften, je moet me zien bij 't volkslied." "Maar niet om Luke." "Ik krijg 'm er niet mee terug." "Nee, maar jezelf misschien wel." "Welkom thuis." "Dokter Wingo had 'n spoedgeval." "Slapen de meiden al?" " AI 'n tijdje." "Ga maar naar huis." "Hé, coach." " Ha, Sally." "Hoe is 't?" " Goed." "Moeten we nu praten, ruzie maken of doen of er niks aan de hand is?" "Wil je 'n sapje?" "Hoe is 't met Savannah?" " Dat wisselt met de dag." "Is die psychiater 'n beetje aardig?" "Ja, hoor." "Hoe heette ze ook weer?" "Lowenstein." "Moet de haard ook aan?" "Lijkt me niet. 't Is bloedheet." " Je stond altijd zo op traditie." "Jack Cleveland wil met me trouwen." "Wil je 'n aanbevelingsbrief?" "Niet leuk." "'T Leek me het aardigste wat ik kon zeggen." "Wat wil je zelf?" " Dat weet ik niet." "Aan de ene kant wil ik weglopen voor 'n leven dat niks meer is." "En lets in me zegt dat niks lukt, als ik hier al niks van maak." "Hoe kan ik je helpen, Sally?" "Door wat begrip te tonen." "Sorry dat ik je zo onzeker heb gemaakt." "Ik kan erg gesloten en afhoudend zijn." "Soms." "Alleen soms." "Ga je mee?" "Lk slaap hier maar." "'T Zou te verwarrend zijn." "Toch fijn dat je 't vraagt." "Papa is thuis!" "Waar ben je, papa?" "Wie zijn die krijsende biggetjes?" "Lk heb honger, zeg." "Beetje mosterd erop, heerlijk." "Wie heeft me 't meest gemist?" "We gaan varen met opa's boot." "Hoi, Jenny." "Is de trui goed?" "Ja hoor, pap." "Mooi." "Pap?" "Hebben jullie erge ruzie of zo?" "Nee, er is niks." "Mij hou je niet voor de gek." "O, jee..." "Wat moet ik toch met al die slimme vrouwen?" "Kom, 'n knuffel." "Kom nou als je wilt helpen." "Jij ook, Tom." "Ik heb 'n hengel van opa." " Prachtig." "Kom nou, papa." "Ik wil versieren." " Dat mag, 't is jouw taart." "Niet snoepen." " Ik wil er ook een doen." "Henry?" "Aan tafel, de kinderen blazen de kaarsjes uit." "Hoor je me?" "We moeten zingen voor Tom en Savannah." "Ik zit te kijken." "Vier de verjaardag van je kinderen mee." "Ik laat me niet commanderen in m'n eigen huis." "Zet die TV weer aan." " Nee." "Doe nou wat papa zegt." "Ik zat te kijken." "De TV is stuk, klootzak." "Nu kun je naar je kinderen kijken." "Kom, opa." "Papa doet 't net omhoog." " Ik kom al, jarige jet." "Ik heb je hengel bij me, opa." "Achteruit." " Mag ik helpen?" "Lk weet niet of we veel hebben." "Eerst de krabben overboord." "Zorg dat ze niet bijten." "Kijk uit voor roggen." "'T Is een eind naar 't ziekenhuis." "Je moet wat voor me doen." "Pak 'n garnaal en pel hem." "Nee, met je duim." "Probeer 't eens met één hand." "Je bent er handig in, hè?" "Pak die krat eens voor 't afval." "Ik moest 't doen." " Niet, ik." "Ze zijn gek op je, pa." "De Braves verloren gisteravond met 3-0 van de Dodgers." "Wist je dat, jongen?" "Ja, dat weet ik." "Zet daar maar neer." " Kan ik ook garnalenvisser worden?" "Dag, meisjes." "Ik hou van jullie." "Hoe kom je op 't vliegveld?" " Ik neem wel 'n taxi." "Pas toen ik wegging, besefte ik hoe mooi ik 't hier altijd vond." "'Mijn ziel graast als 'n lam op de schoonheid van de getijden.'" "Weet je nog dat je dat schreef?" " Goeie brieven schreef ik, hè?" "Je hebt iemand ontmoet in New York, hè?" "Weet ik niet." "Ik weet 't wel." "Bied de Newbury's je excuses aan." "Todd noemde ons asocialen." "Gelijk heeft ie, als jij er gelijk op slaat." "Is dit niet prachtig?" " Ik wil naar huis." "Hallo, Tom." "Hallo, Reese." "Ik kom voor moeder." " Kom verder." "Ze verwacht je." "Dank je." "Fijn dat we mochten komen." "Geen dank." "Je ziet er weer prachtig uit." "Ik zeg maar zo:" "Geslaagde mannen zijn 't liefst." "Ga hier maar zitten, dan maken Tom en ik 'n praatje in m'n werkkamer." "Dat is oosters tapijt." "Uit 't verre oosten." "Als je m'n zoon nog 's aanraakt... gooi ik je als krab-aas in de rivier." "'N Wingo raakt geen Newbury aan." "En geen woord over die klap, anders jaag ik jullie de stad uit." "En nou opgehoepeld." "'T Is hier klammer." "Hallo, schat." "Geld staat je goed." "Je wens is wel uitgekomen." "Begin nou niet." "Vertel me over Savannah." " Ze is er nog lang niet." "Ik heb knipsels over zenuwziektes." "Geef die aan haar psychiater." "Zal ik doen." "Wat vertel je die dokter?" " Alles wat Savannah kan helpen." "Drink je ijsthee op." "Ik ga Dr. Lowenstein vertellen over Callanwolde." "Ik weet niet waar je 't over hebt." " Dat weet je wel, mam." "We beloofden daar nooit over te praten." "Je moet je woord houden." "'N Stomme belofte." "Erover praten is juist goed." "Ik wil m'n leven privé houden." " Zelfs ten koste van je dochter?" "Overdrijf niet." " Ik had ook niks kunnen zeggen." "Ik wil er niet meer over praten." " Dat is nou juist 't probleem." "Jij leeft in 't verleden." "Ik trek de deur dicht en vergeet." "En Luke dan?" "Denk je nog wel 's aan Luke?" "Komt hij nog wel eens bij je op?" "Wie leerde je zo wreed te zijn?" "Jij, mama." "Dat heb jij me geleerd." "Maar ook dat je van iemand die je leven kapot maakt toch kan houden." "Moet dat 'n moederhart warmte geven?" "Je moet geduld met me hebben." "Je deed veel om kwaad op te zijn." "Er is zo veel herrie in New York." "Sirenes, toeters, geschreeuw..." "Melk, geen suiker, ja?" "O, ja." "Bedankt." "Ik moet je iets vertellen." "Weet ik." "Ik weet niet hoe." "Zeg 't maar gewoon." "'T Regende die avond." "Mama leerde ons dansen." "Een van de weinige leuke avonden." "Ik kan niet dansen." " Tuurlijk wel." "Pak Savannah's hand." " Zij is beter, dans maar met haar." "En draaien." "Daar komt weer 'n draai." "Wie kan dat nou zijn?" "Ze drongen binnen." "Drie mannen." "Mama glide: 'Help ons, Tom'." "Ik wilde wel, maar kon het niet." "Een verkrachtte Savannah." "En een m'n moeder." "'T Verklaart niet alle problemen, maar ik vond dat je 't moet weten." "God, ja." "En wat is Callanwolde?" "De gevangenis waaruit ze ontsnapt waren." "Hoe oud was Savannah toen?" "Dertien." "En eh..." "Wat deed jij toen 't gebeurde?" "Geen idee." "Nee?" "Hulp halen, misschien?" "Nee." "Waarom niet?" "Weet ik niet." "Enig idee waarom niet?" "Lk weet niet..." "Daarom." "Zo antwoordt een kind, Tom." "Je had 't net over... drie mannen." "Waar bleef de derde?" "Tom?" "Waar was hij?" "Tom?" "'T Is in orde." "Vertel me over hem." "Hij zei: 'Geen kik of ik keel je.'" "Rauw vlees." "Hij noemde me rauw vlees." "'Lk heb liefst vers, rauw vlees.'" "Wat me overkwam... was onvoorstelbaar." "Letterlijk." "Dat 't met jongens ook kon." "Ik wilde alleen nog maar dood." "Vooral toen ik Luke zag." "Luke twee, mama een." "En ik deed niks." "Je kon niets doen." "Je was maar 'n jongetje." "Je had geen wapen." "'T Verbaast me dat jij en Savannah het überhaupt overleefd hebben." "Hoe ging 't daarna?" "Lk bedoel..." "Hoe verwerkten jullie het?" "Je vader?" "Wie zegt dat we 't vertelden?" "Je hebt niks gezegd?" "Tegen niemand?" "De politie toch wel?" "Jezus Christus..." "Mama zei: 'Het is voorbij." "Breng de lijken naar buiten.'" "'Ruim de rommel op.'" "Ze draaide door." "'Dit is niet gebeurd', zei ze steeds maar weer." "Eén woord en ze was onze moeder niet meer, zei ze." "Als 't licht werd, zou alles er anders uitzien." "Toen de lijken begraven waren, ging ik naar Savannah." "Kijken hoe 't was." "Ze probeerde te doen wat mama had gezegd." "Of er niets was gebeurd." "Ze deed krulspelden in haar haar." "Alleen zat 'r jurk binnenstebuiten." "Toen m'n vader thuiskwam, gingen we aan tafel of er niks was." "God sta me bij." "'T Zwijgen was erger dan de verkrachting." "Drie dagen later deed Savannah 'n poging tot zelfmoord." "Ze kon zwijgen, maar niet liegen." "En dat is zo fijn aan 't zuiden..." "Zeg eens wat, Lowenstein." "Hoe voel je je nu?" "Gaat wel." "Ik dacht dat ik zou afknappen, maar dat valt enorm mee." "Echt?" " Ja." "Hoe voel ik me?" "Opgelucht." "'T Hoge woord is eruit en..." "Je hebt je pijn wel leren verbergen, hè?" "Dat doe je je hele leven al." "Dat jochie van dertien heeft nog erg veel pijn." "Doe me dit niet aan, Lowenstein." "Ik kan je pijn voelen, Tom." "Ik voel het." "Sta ervoor open." "Er is moed voor nodig om die pijn te voelen." "Je kan het best aan." "Wees maar niet bang." "Je hebt 't zo lang binnengehouden." "Laat je maar gaan." "Je hebt zoveel om om te huilen." "Rustig maar, 't is in orde." "Ja..." "Voel de pijn." "Huil maar." "Huil maar." "Voel de pijn." "Alleen dan word je beter." "Goed zo, liefje." "Laat je maar gaan." "Ik ben hier te oud voor." " Kom op, nog 'n keer." "Oud worden valt niet mee, hè?" "Over je top." "Dit is niet persoonlijk hoor, maar ik laat niks van je heel." "'T Was heerlijk om je onderuit te halen." "Verslagen door 'n violist." "Geef die ouwe 's een hand." "Als ik je niks meer kan leren..." "Pa?" "Laat je moeder dit toe?" "Greenberg beide dat je twee keer verzuimde." "'T Is een griezel." " Hij is streng." "Dat zijn alle grote leermeesters." " Tom Wingo." "Bernards trainer." "Ik heb veel over u gehoord." " Ga maar viool studeren." "Morgen regelen we wel wat." "Ik wist niet dat hij zo sterk was." " Hij is goed." "Ik wil geen gebroken vingers." " Hij zei al dat u ongerust was." "Hij moet zich zorgen maken." "'T Spijt me voor u, maar Bernard gaat twee weken naar Tanglewood." "Met 'n stok achter de deur kan hij best ver komen." "U bent de maestro." "Ik ben blij dat u 't begrijpt." "Susan en ik geven vrijdag 'n etentje." "Komt u ook?" "Dank u, daar verheug ik me op." "Hoe is 't met je?" " Wel goed." "En met haar?" "Erg goed, naar omstandigheden." "Mag ik 'r zien?" "Dat zal ze vast fijn vinden." "Hoe is 't, meisje?" "Lk ben er nog." "Ik weet niet wat ik zeggen moet." " Kom hier." "Sorry dat je dit moest doormaken." " 'T Was goed voor me... maar doe dit nooit meer." "Ik kan niet zonder je, liefje." "Tanglewood moet erg mooi zijn." " Zal me worst zijn." "Ik heb je school geschreven." "Ze krijgen 'n klassespeler volgend jaar." "Je bent 'n taaie, Bernard." "Ik gaf je op je donder en je vroeg om meer." "Je bent m'n beste trainer." " Je enige." "Ik bedoel de beste leraar." "Dat heb ik lang niet gehoord." " Waarom stopte je met lesgeven?" "Lk zocht wat beters." " Wat dan?" "Goeie vraag." "Ik weet 't niet." " Kun je niet terug?" "Lk weet niet of ze me nog willen." " Als ik nou 'n brief schrijf." "Speel maar 'n stukje viool." "Volgens je vader ben je goed." "Hier?" "Nu?" " Waarom niet?" "Vrolijk de boel op." "Straks denken ze nog dat ik er geld voor wil." "Leuk zakcentje toch?" "Lk speel lets waar ik op geoefend heb." "Als ik zo speelde, raakte ik geen bal aan." "Allebei kan toch ook?" " Absoluut." "Absoluut." "Hier, hang om." "Vlug, straks mis je je trein." "Mijn vader haat je." "Maar hij houdt van jou." "Kom hier." "Tot ziens, ik zal je missen." " Ik jou ook." "Ik schrijf je." " Dat is je geraden ook." "En niet roken." "Wie weet heb je 'm nog nodig." "Pianisten waren toch verschrompeld en bleek?" "Volgende keer zet ik je naast 'r." " Dank je, ze is m'n type niet." "Mooi." " Hoezo dat?" "Lk denk dat ze 'n verhouding heeft met m'n man." "Ledereen gezien?" "Kingsley is een van m'n favoriete schrijvers." "Tom, wat fijn dat je er bent." " Ik heb weer van je genoten." "Weer?" " 'T Charleston Music Festival." "Vorig jaar, Brahms vioolconcert." " Bartok." "Wel eens 'n Stradivarius gezien?" "'T Beste instrument ooit gemaakt." "Ik ga lets voor Mr Wingo spelen." "Voor onze gast uit 't zuiden." "Wat wil je horen?" "Lk ken niet veel football-liedjes." "'T Maakt mij niet uit." "Die Mozart schreef toch verhipte leuke deuntjes." "Wil je 'n whiskey water voor me halen?" "Ja, meneer." "Wie is dat?" "'N Vriend van Susan." "Een footballtrainer." "Leuk." "'N Onbeduidend kunstenaartje." " Hoe kun je dat nou zeggen?" "Z'n werk hangt in de Metropolitan." " Daar hangt ook WC-papier." "Praat 's met Madison, Tom." "Hij is verzot op auteurs uit 't zuiden." "Ik ben gek op die rebellen." " Op overdaad en buitenissigheid." "Ze zijn allemaal volslagen gek." "Jij weet ook vast wel wat van krankzinnigheid." "Lets." "Savannah Wingo is z'n zus." "Ken je haar werk?" "Ja, ze is goed." "Erg goed." "Ze is 'n patiënte van Susan." " Dat geeft geen pas." "Je geneest de literaire wereld." "Krijg je 'n deel van de royalties?" "Wat heb je gedronken?" " Dat moet je Tom vragen." "Je wilde me toch niet vergiftigen?" " Misschien in m'n onderbewustzijn." "Ik mag jou wel, Tom." "Met je uitbundige trots." "Je zou dit niet doen." " Nee, ik moet niet op Tom hakken." "Jij maakte m'n zoon een monster in 'n football-pak." "Dat je zo'n risico neemt met z'n handen." "Dat jij durft te komen." "Ledereen weet dat je m'n man naait." "Bied haar je excuses aan." " Bied mij jouw excuses maar aan." "Schat, waar is je gevoel voor humor?" "Hoe heet die man in je toneelstuk?" " Ik noem 'm SB." "Naar iemand aan deze tafel." " Ik toch niet?" "Lk heb je viooltje te pakken." "Vlug, hij begint zwaar te worden." "Waar blijf je nou, Herbert?" "Wat doe je nou?" "Schat, waar is je gevoel voor humor?" "Die viool is 'n miljoen waard." " Als ik 'm laat vallen geen bal." "Niet doen." "Bied 'r je excuses aan." " Je bluft." "Misschien, maar 't is wel sterke bluf." "'T Spijt me, Susan." "Heel oprecht." "Nu bied je mij je excuses aan voor je tafelmanieren, gore lulhannes." "'T Spijt me vreselijk, Tom." "Jullie weten wel wat feesten is, in New York." "Tom, wacht." "Nu weet ik waarom je altijd zo triest kijkt." "Neem me alsjeblieft mee." "Ik waarschuw je..." "De gedachte om verliefd te worden, maakt me doodsbang." "Laten we dan gewoon vrienden zijn." " Hele goeie vrienden." "Lowenstein?" "Overspel bevalt me geloof ik wel." "Daarom is 't tot zonde verheven." "Boet, zondaars." "Wendt u tot de Here!" "Lk heb nogal wat te boeten." " Ik heb problemen." "Wat voor problemen?" "Lk begin van deze stad te houden." " Waardoor heb je je bedacht?" "Moet je dat vragen?" " Ik ben onzeker." "Jij krijgt me met alles om." "Hoi, Tom." "De warme bakker." "Stoor ik in iets smerigs?" "Susan, je ziet er stralend uit." "Fijn dat je aan je trekken komt." "Boter op je croissantje?" "Vraag hem maar." "Raad eens?" "Bernard vroeg of ik 'm volgend weekeinde kom opzoeken." "Dat is fantastisch." " Ik ben je zo dankbaar." "Schei toch uit." "Dit is de tuin. 't Ligt er helemaal omheen." "Mooi, hè?" "Niet zo mooi als jij." " O, lieverd..." "Dit is 't." "Herbert vond 't maar niks, hij moest er van niezen." "Ik mis de uitlaatgassen ook wel." "En dat op 'n uurtje van New York." "Niet alleen Carolina heeft bomen." " In 'n volgend leven word ik jou." "Rijk worden van gekken, 'n pracht- flat in de stad, 'n landhuis... en 'n vent als ik." "Ik zal je even rondleiden." "Kijk." "Leuk, hè?" "Dat waren twaalf eieren." " Kan me niet schelen." "Weet je wat ik in 't begin dacht?" "'Ze heeft de pest aan me, waarom voel ik me zo stom bij haar?" "'" "Wat denk je nu?" " Nu?" "Waarom voel ik me zo lekker bij haar?" "Omdat ze van je houdt." "Lowenstein, Lowenstein..." "Misschien kan ik je beter Susan gaan noemen." "Nee, je zegt zo lief 'Lowenstein'." "Weet je..." "Voor ik je kende, was ik in 'n diepe slaap." "En ik had 't niet eens door." "Ik ben bang." "Waarvoor, liefje?" "Wat als Sally je terug wil?" "Ze wil je terug, weet je." " En hoe weet je dat zo zeker?" "Lk heb de waar gekeurd." "Benen wijd." " Viezerik." "Ik doe niet vies." "Wijd, zo." "En nu tackelen." "Vangen." "Ik ben te oud voor dit spelletje." "Dit is 't mooiste ervan." "Moet ik ook joods worden?" " Welnee." "Dat is Herbert ook niet." " M'n hele familie besnijdt zich." "Daarboven zit Luke ergens." "Stomme zak!" "Als kind was hij 'n god voor me." "Hoe zie je 'm nu?" "Als 'n man." "Met fouten, net als ieder ander." "Behalve jij, jij bent volmaakt." " Verre van dat." "Terugkijkend op m'n leven zie ik dat ik verlamd was de laatste... god weet hoeveel jaar." "Hoe hield ik dat huwelijk vol?" "Je had 'n zoon." " Redenen zat." "Maar geen een was goed genoeg." "Ik had gewoon..." "Ik had er geen idee van dat dit mogelijk was." "En nu..." "Ik bedenk de hele dag hoe fijn 't is om lekker in je vel te zitten." "Ik hoor je op de gang aankomen..." "Ik blijf maar lachen." "Ik lach de hele dag door." "Ik hou van je, Lowenstein." "Terug naar de hut en de hele nacht vrijen?" "Je moet nog 'n hoop leren van het buitenleven." "Fijn om hier te zijn." "Je mag gauw naar huis." " Ik geloof dat ik wel zover ben." "En jij?" "Wanneer ga jij naar huis?" "Sally en ik hebben problemen." " Nee, wat erg." "Ik blijf hier misschien nog even." " Jij in New York?" "Je kon nooit weg uit 't zuiden." " Jij deed 't ook." "Ik ben er niet zo aan verknocht als jij." "Hallo, Sally." "Ze heeft gebeld." "Nou ja." "We wisten dat deze dag zou komen." "Je bent nooit echt... voorbereid." "Hou me vast, ik heb 't gevoel dat ik doodga." "Wat ik zo lief aan je vind is dat je je gezin altijd trouw blijft." "Ik zoek 'n lieve jood, ik ga kapot aan jullie." "Wil je echt naar huis?" "Lk geloof van wel." "Ik werk aan 'n nieuwe bundel." "'The Prince of Tides.' lk draag 't op aan 'n heel bijzonder iemand." "Dat zou Luke fijn gevonden hebben." "Ik draag 't op aan mijn broer Tom Wingo..." "Mijn geheugen." "Dank je wel, lieverd." "Dank je wel." "Waarom maak je dit zo moeilijk?" "Je houdt gewoon meer van haar." "Geef 't maar toe." "Nee, Lowenstein." "Alleen langer." "We brachten onze laatste uren samen door in de Rainbow Room... met 'n langzame dans." "Net als in m'n droom." "Ik hield haar in m'n armen... en vertelde dat ik dankzij haar terug kon." "Zes weken eerder stond ik op 't punt m'n gezin te verlaten." "Ik wilde overal uitstappen." "Zij bracht daar verandering in." "Ze veranderde mij." "Voor 't eerst had ik de vrouwen in m'n leven lets terug te geven." "Dat verdienden ze." "Papa." "Papa is thuis!" "Ik keerde terug naar 't zuiden." "En bij m'n vrouw en kinderen ligt m'n leven, m'n bestemming." "Ik ben leraar, trainer en 'n geliefd man." "En dat is meer dan genoeg." "In New York leerde ik houden van m'n ouders, met al hun fouten." "In 'n gezin is er geen misdaad die onvergeeflijk is." "'T Mysterie van het leven houdt me nu op de been." "En ik kijk naar 't noorden... en wens opnieuw dat er twee levens zijn voor elke man... en elke vrouw." "Aan 't eind van elke dag rijd ik naar Charleston." "Als ik de brug naar huis oprijd... voel ik de woorden in me opkomen." "Ik zeg ze onwillekeurig." "Maar bovenop de brug... komen die woorden fluisterend boven." "Ik zeg ze bij wijze van gebed, spijt en loftuiting." "Ik zeg:" "Lowenstein..." "Lowenstein." "Ondertiteling:" "SDI Media Group" "Ripped by:" "SkyFury"