"We have time for one more call." "Hello, Gretchen. I'm listening." "Well, you see, Dr Crane, my husband is a fencing instructor and lately he spends all his time with his wealthy new student and I'm afraid there's some bumsen going on." " Do you have any evidence?" " No, it's just a feeling." "Well, in these matters, there's no simple way to know for sure." "Yes, there is." "Well, Gretchen, you're in luck." "It just so happens we have in our studio today one of the world's five leading bumsen experts." "If you want to know if a man cheats, you offer him two choices for dinner, one that's fattening and one that's light." "If he picks the calorie packed one, he doesn't mind turning into a pig, which means he's happily married." "Hearing advice like that, I wish there was a law against women gathering at a water cooler." " Now, Gretchen..." " Does it really work, Roz?" " Oh, trust me." " l'm going to do it." "Thank you for your help, Roz." " Oh, and you too, Dr Crane." " Don't mention it." "I don't understand it." "I'm a successful guy." "I have my own car dealership, but I'm depressed." "You may have heard of me - Madman Martinez." "What's the source of your depression, Madman?" "I guess it's just that business is down." "I don't know why." "I slashed prices this week." "I've an '88 Olds Cutlass on the lot in rare turquoise metallic, cordova roof, leather..." "And there's six brand-new Supras, with a 20% discount to listeners." "People say, "You're crazy!" l say, "l deal in volume!"" "Fortunately, so do I." "Our time's up, folks." "Stay tuned for "Bulldog" Briscoe after these paid commercial messages." "If you've had therapy for two years without much progress, perhaps you've reached a plateau, or you and your therapist have done all you can together." "Maybe you're right." "He's kind of dry and long-winded." "That's a long time to spend with someone you find long-winded." "Amen to that." "Thanks, Dr Crane." "I'll think about that." "Would it be OK if I called back and picked your brain?" "Just consider me your mental banjo." "That's it for this fine Friday." "This is Frasier Crane saying we'll see you next week."