"Point Place, Wisconsin" "January 13th, 1977" "Thursday Afternoon" "Eric Forman's Basement" "Alright guys, this is no sweat." "If we leave right after school, we should make it to Jackie's ski cabin by like six o'clock." "Man, I can't wait." "A trip to my favorite place." "Anywhere but here." "And I'm betting that Alpine Valley is gonna give the Kid many make out opportunities with Donna this weekend." "The Kid is in" "What's with the whole 'Kid' thing?" "It's cool..." "It's not cool?" "Not cool, dorky." "Guess who made out with Pam Macy behind the gym?" "Everyone." "No, me!" "Kelso, a lot of people hang out behind the gym." "Yeah, that's what's so great about it." "Everybody saw it!" "Oh, that's great man!" "Yeah, because then everybody can tell Jackie you moron!" "Yeah, and then she's gonna dump you and we won't be able to go up to her ski cabin!" "She's never gonna find out." "You are a dog Michael, a dirty dirty dog!" "What did I do?" "You kissed Pam Macy!" "I trusted you Michael, and now all my friends are laughing at me." "I can't even show my face in the third floor bathroom anymore!" "And that's the cool bathroom!" "But, I..." "No Michael." "We're through." "Okay, if that's the way you want it, we're through." "And Monday, when we get back from that ski trip, it's over!" "No Michael, no, no, no, no, no." "You won't be skiing this weekend." "Oh, that's just great Jackie." "Cancel the ski trip and disappoint all our friends!" "Oh no no no." "We are still going." "Well, they're surely not going without me." "Right guys?" "Oh, and did I mention my parents are not coming?" "So it'll be just us..." "So we'll see you Monday!" "So, Eric's going away for the weekend." "All the house to ourselves." "You know what that means?" "Dinner in front of the T.V." "No." "You dog!" "Now, Eric, you're gonna be driving in snow, so I'll put together an emergency roadside kit for you." "In case you went into trouble." "Okay, that'd be great." "Preparation makes all the difference Eric." "Take kitty litter." "I can't tell you how many times kitty litter got me out of a tight spot..." "Oh god Eric." "Oh, it's a road flare." "A road flare can save your life." "I said a road flare can save your life!" "What...oh Check." "Right, road flare!" "Right." "Okay now good." "How was school today?" "Oh, okay." "You know my P E teacher Coach Wilson?" "Well, he had this crusty stuff on the corner of his lip." "So Kelso says to him, Kelso says 'Hey Coach, check out that crusty stuff..." "Dad, dad, dad are you even listening?" "Of course I'm listening." "And you know what I'm hearing?" "You need to buckle down." "I've told you over and over again that school is so important." "What you do now determines..." "Oh Red, that is so good!" "Oh, uh, right there, uh, oh," "that hasn't been touched in years!" "Hey Donna man, I brought my double sleeping bag, you know?" "Great!" "Can Eric and I borrow it?" "Oh Hyde, watching you fail over and over... it is like Charlie Brown and the football!" "Yeah man, I just don't get it." "No, because Eric already has it!" "Oh." "Hey Kelso, um, look," "I just wanna make sure we're cool 'cause this weekend is like really important for me and Donna... so thanks for understanding." "Yeah, I understand." "I understand that we're not friends anymore." "Okay, look man, you brought this on yourself." "I know I did, but that's no reason for me to suffer!" "No that is a great reason for you to suffer!" "What...?" "I'm going!" "Fine, go!" "See if I care!" "Oh, come on man!" "We're..." "Well, here's your emergency roadside kit." "Kitty litter?" "Oh, kitty litter, right!" "Um honey, I put some sandwiches in your duffel bag." "Now, um, why do you need such a big bag of oregano?" "Donna's Italian?" "..." "Okay, stay warm!" "Okay, I see what's going on!" "You're not really going skiing!" "This is all just a gag!" "You're just trying to get me all worked up so you can go" "'Oh just kidding buddy!" "' Yeah, you got me." "That's a nice burn!" "It sure is... bye-bye." "Oh, he's not going!" "He'll be back!" "Yup, any second now... he's probably just going around the block." "I gotta hand it to him." "He got me there!" "That's a major burn!" "Yup..." "There he is!" "I knew it!" "Uh, no, that's not him." "I have never seen snow before!" "It is so beautiful!" "Do you know what the best part of this whole trip is?" "That Michael is not here!" "He'd just be sitting here, telling me how cute I look in my fur-trimmed coat." "I know I look cute, I don't need him here for that." "Forman man, what's all this crap that Red gave you?" "I don't know, he's obsessed with kitty litter." "I think he might be going insane." "Far out!" "What the hell was that?" "I don't know, I guess we hit some ice." "Oh great!" "We're stuck." "Look, I made my first snow ball!" "I love snow so much my fingers are numb with joy!" "That's frostbite Fez." "How rude!" "I hate your white men's winter!" "Get in the car Fez, get in the car." "Eric, do something!" "Yeah man, stop goofing around!" "Wow, it's freezing!" "This is awful!" "We're all going to die!" "And I love Michael!" "Shut up!" "Okay, think Eric, think!" "Why Kitty litter?" "Use the gum Eric." "Dad, what are you doing here?" "I'm not here, you're imagining me." "Now's who's insane mister smart mouth?" "I guess I am." "Use the gum to stick the candle in the can." "The candle heats the can which melts the snow behind the tire." "Then pour on the Kitty litter for traction." "Now you think you can handle that?" "Yes sir." "Good, because you don't want me back out here." "I may be a figment of your imagination, but I'm still freezing my ass off." "Michael, what are you doing down here?" "You know what?" "I think Eric actually went." "What a jerk!" "Well, why don't you just go to Jackie's cabin and talk to him?" "I can't." "I don't have a car, and besides," "Jackie hates me forever because I kissed Pam Macy." "You know, when Mr. Forman and I were dating.," "I saw him kissing a girl in a movie theatre once and I forgave him." "You forgave him for kissing another girl?" "Yes sir." "I mean it wasn't, it wasn't so much kissing as it was a groping, sloppy, pawing, nibbling nightmare." "But, but you forgave him!" "Yeah, I forgave the bastard!" "Cool!" "Okay!" "Candles check.." "Chianti: check." "Fancy nut mix check." "And how's my pretty lady!" "Oh, you are so full of crap!" "Well, hello there!" "Hey, thanks for stopping." "Are you going all the way to Alpine Valley?" "Oh, I'm going... wherever you're going!" "Wow, that's lucky!" "So, did it hurt?" "What?" "When you fell down from heaven!" "No, I'm fine!" "Alright!" "We made it!" "Yeah, just in time, that storm is getting nasty." "I am so cold!" "The snow has stolen my manhood!" "Okay, there's only one bedroom." "It was gonna be for Michael and I but since our love is... dead, you two should take it." "Alright!" "You wanna go check out our room?" "Definitely." "Where are you guys going?" "I thought we were gonnna hang..." "I am freezing!" "The winter in my country is seventy degrees!" "We must hold each other for warmth!" "Stop touching me!" "Then I am going to die!" "Okay Fez... oh!" "Amaretto!" "You know what man?" "This will warm you right up." "Take a sip of that!" "Yum, liquid candy!" "Kitty, you're talking about something hat happened over twenty years ago." "And there you were at the movies in front of God and everybody slurping on horse-face Lynn Taylor like she was a Popsicle." "Kitty..." "A big, easy, horse-face Popsicle!" "Horse-face?" "She was a runner-up in the Miss Wisconsin pageant!" "Which she lost because she was such a horse-face!" "Thanks for the burger." "Oh, and the hat!" "Well I just like to see that smile." "See you coming down about your friend Eric." "Well, it's just..." "You know, he's always been there for me." "Like, when people used to call me dumb, he'd say 'Hey, he's not as dumb as you think!" "'" "People don't like to talk about it, but guy to guy relationships are pretty special, you know?" "They can be the most beautiful thing in the world!" "I don't know why I do this stuff!" "It's just like..." "I get these urges, you know, and I can't control them!" "Shoot!" "I wrote that country song!" "I've been cheated, been mistreated!" "When will I be loved?" "Okay, that's probably just Jackie crying!" "Alright, alright, that's too much!" "Can you please go out there and break that record?" "What's going on?" "Ha-ha, Spy versus Spy man, they kill me!" "No, with her!" "She seems upset or something." "Okay look, where's Fez?" "Fez?" "Oh, well, he killed that entire bottle of Amaretto, and then he ran outside saying he had to make a snow angel." "But he was in his underwear." "Okay look, either you need to go get Fez or console Jackie." "Er, I'll take Donna." "Jackie." "Jackie." "Yeah, Jackie." "Okay, oh, oh, okay, yeah okay," "now I can see you're upset, ah ha, ah ha." "Now listen alright, if it's any consolation, Pam Macy would give it up to anybody." "Oh, what do you know, we're all alone." "God Hyde, you can be such a jerk, you know that?" "Come on, I'm just goofing around!" "No you're not!" "Look, I'm up here with Eric, alright Eric, get it?" "Not you!" "I know, okay I know." "Look, do you think I like hitting on my best friend's girlfriend?" "I don't." "But I look at you..." "I mean look at you!" "I can't help it." "Well you better." "It's so clear to me now!" "I can't just go around using people as my sexual play things." "You know what I mean Gus?" "I guess people feelings are way more important than those sexual urges!" "You're good people son." "You too man!" "Well, this is where you get off!" "And one more thing." "Next time, take a bus." "You're too pretty to hitch!" "Oh oh, Thanks man!" "Bye Gus!" "Hey Fez!" "Fez!" "Hey man!" "Kelso you're here!" "Yeah, I got a ride with the nicest guy!" "Listen, I've had a lot of time to think on the way up here, and well I'm sorry!" "Yeah, yeah I'm sorry." "I should never come up here without you man!" "I am a winter nymph!" "I love this snow!" "Hurray America!" "Michael!" "Jackie!" "Oh Michael!" "You walked all the way here in the driving snowstorm just to be with me didn't you Michael?" "And you would never, ever, do that for Pam Macy, would you?" "No?" "Lover!" "Ah, you know it!" "Can one of you guys put his pants on?" "Kitty, this can't just be about me and Lynn Taylor." "What's really bothering you?" "Okay, I just wanna know why not me." "Why not you what?" "I married you!" "Yeah, but when we were dating, you just sat there, you held my hand politely." "Didn't you think that I might enjoy a passionate man handling in a public place?" "Well I respected you!" "I'm an old fashion guy." "I don't think that you should grope and maul the one you love." "Until you get to Florida, at the Fountainbleu" "with the door locked and a carton of cigarettes." "Oh Red, our honeymoon!" "Let's go upstairs." "No, let's go to the movies!" "Well uh, here we are!" "Yup." "So I still can't believe that Kelso cheated on Jackie with Pam Macy." "I mean is just a seriously uncool move." "Yeah." "I mean to risk everything for..." "Eric, I will never do that to you." "You can trust me." "Really?" "Absolutely." "I would never kiss Pam Macy behind the gym." "You know, never say never Donna."