"Good morning, Mia." "Hi..." "Me again." "Come in, please." "I know, 7:00 is early, but it's the only time that I could come." "No, it's okay." "You know, it's funny, 20 years ago I was in Brooklyn, you were in the city, and now it's the other way around." "Oh, that's... that's true." "I know you've spoken with Ellis about your case and he is on top of it, but if you're not pleased, I hope you'll let me know." "Oh, thank you, and I really appreciate the referral." "You have more light in here than you had in your old office on 10th Street." "Yeah, that was... that was a long time ago." "It's strange, to be back." "This couch is better." "The old one was, uh... blue with black pillows." "You have a good memory." "I thought it was funny... that you had a black and blue couch." "In Treatment, S02E06 Mia:" "Week Two" "I'm sorry about last week." "Oh, it was... fine." "No, it was unprofessional and it shouldn't have happened." "Well, as say, these, these things... happen." "Well, it was embarrassing and..." "that's why I called," "I wanted to apologize and just..." "talk about it." "Good." "And I understand your saying no to having a drink." "That's too personal." "Anyway, I'm, I'm happy to come in and have a session and just... try to clean up the mess I made." "I should have brought a mop." "So your feelings kind of..." "caught you by surprise?" "But that was back on last Monday and you called me on Friday." "Did it take you that long to, to decide?" "I didn't know if I wanted to, you know, sometimes it's better just to let things go, don't go ferreting around for more problems." "I just really didn't think I would lose it like that." "I..." "And you were right about how I set it up." "I'm not so sure that I... said... you set it up." "Oh, but I did." "Ellis couldn't be there and I saw your name on the file and I grabbed it." "I actually thought it would be fun, just to needle you a little and... impress you." "Oh, I was... impressed." "Till Bennett walked in." " Can I smoke?" " Actually, I'd prefer if you didn't." "Oh, really?" "God, everyone's so healthy." "Why is that?" "Even Bennett hates that." "If you can't smoke after sex, what's the point?" "You're telling me that you and Bennett are involved?" "I figured you had figured that out." "I did notice your manner changed after he came into the room, yeah." "He knew you were my old therapist... had to mark the room like the dog he is." "Oh, so you think it was... "territorial"?" " And kind of funny, considering." " How so?" " I'm sure you noticed he wears a ring?" " I did." "Yeah." "It's bad enough to sleep with a married man, but when he's your boss, it's really pathetic, right?" "I'm sure you had your reasons." "Yeah, I had been seeing this other guy, André, and that was fading fast, so I just thought, well," "I'll have a little fling with Bennett and it'll be easier to let André go if they overlap a little." "Is there " " I think there's a term for that, It's called "shingling."" "Right, well, who wants to have a leaky roof?" "I never thought it would last, you know, past a month with Bennett." "But it has..." "lasted." "Yeah, over a year now." "Nobody knows." "That's a long time to keep a secret." "He said he was gonna leave his wife... he wanted to be with me... and I believed him." "I mean, it does happen, you know, people do leave their wives, even for older women." "They do." "He didn't." "So... what happened?" "It doesn't matter." "So now I need to meet someone else." "Do you know anybody?" "So now, you want me to introduce you to somebody?" "Sure." "I don't need a therapist, I need a matchmaker." "Okay." "You think I would be a good judge of character?" "Oh, you don't have to be, just figure out who I'm attracted to and then... pick someone else." "You do owe me." "What do you mean I, I owe you?" "I, I..." "I don't, I don't get what you mean." "What if I stood by the window and smoked?" "You can stand wherever you like, Mia, but I would still rather you didn't smoke." "Okay." "Don't set me up." "I'm sure Bennett will call." "His wife never has sex with him." "I don't, I don't understand how people can stay married like that, I..." "You're divorced... right?" "I mean, I know I'm not supposed to ask but since I'm not really a patient..." "Did you have an affair?" "When you say that, uh, you don't really think that you're a patient," " I think that what you're saying is..." " You did, didn't you?" "Your wife found out and she left you, and now you're alone." "And here we are... together again." "I've been wondering, this past week, what would've happened if you and I just, you know, had just run into one another in Soho or something like that." "And what do you think would've happened?" "Well, probably nothing." "I mean, look at you, I'm sure you don't have any trouble finding women, with the accent and the eyes and..." "You probably already have a girlfriend." "See, it's different for me." "How is it different for you?" "It just is." "Do you feel that... you're not attractive?" "No, I think I look fine." "I'm not, I'm not talking about having sex, I can find that." "Are you talking about having a relationship?" "Yeah." "Do you have any idea what it's like to meet a smart, interesting, available man who's over 40?" "No, what's it like?" "Well, the pool is exceedingly small." "You know, they're either married or there's a very good reason why they're not married." "And if they're divorced, they want them young." "I bet the last woman you fell for was, what, 30?" "Are you asking me if somebody like me would be attracted to somebody like you?" "Answering a question with a question?" "You sound like Bennett." "Lawyers should never be with other lawyers." "I wonder if his wife is sleeping with him again." "I taught him what to do, she gets the benefits." "And what, what did you teach him to do?" "God!" "The first time?" "It was like, it was like doing it with a salmon." "Do you ever watch those, those nature documentaries?" "You know, where the male salmon frantically kind of jerks around for about 15 seconds with its... mouth gaping open, and then it just stops." "Not to mention, there's no hands, tongue... never really touches the female." "So, you turned Bennett from a... from a fish into a man." "That's... sounds mythic." "Yeah, a real fairy tale." "You know, the one where the princess fucks the frog and turns him into a prince, and then he goes back to his frigid... frog wife." "What?" "What are you thinking?" "I, I'm thinking it's a good thing you don't write children's books." "Do I look like I don't understand children?" "Because I don't have any children and you do?" "No, I was just... no, it was, sorry, it was a bad joke." "That's fine." "I'm not at my most jovial." " I think I hurt your feelings." " No, no, it's just, uh..." "Oh, never mind." "What is it?" "I don't have any children." "And now, it looks like I won't." "I, my, my FSH level is higher than it should be." "Yeah, and I'm 43 and I'm a little young for that and my doctor said that if I wanted to get pregnant I should have done it yesterday, or, maybe five years ago." "I mean it's still theoretically possible." "It must have been hard to hear." "It wasn't a complete surprise." "I'd stopped taking the pill with Bennett over the summer and nothing happened, so..." "But yeah, I went to see my doctor on Monday." "The same day that... that you and I met." "Yeah, that afternoon." "You... you're implying that..." "there's a connection?" "Am I?" "Well, do you think there is a connection?" "Okay, um... yes." "Seeing you... just made me... made me think about... my life." " Wh-When did you get the results?" " On Friday." "Did you tell Bennett?" "And what did he say?" " He told me to get out." " Get out?" " Where, where were you?" " I drove to his house... in Larchmont." "I told his wife it was a work emergency." "He wasn't even there." "I had to sit there and wait with Gwen and the kids" " and the tacky antiques." " Did he, did he show up?" "Yeah, eventually." "We went into his study and I told him, I told him that I wanted to see a specialist, and I needed to get pregnant right away." "He just said: "Get out"?" "That and... that he didn't want to see me anymore." "And that's, that's when you called me, after you had seen Bennett?" "Yeah." "Well, it's a hell of a week you had." "You get these test results from your doctor, you get rejected by Bennett, and it kind of all begins with meeting me on Monday." "In a way..." "It really all started 20 years ago." "You mean... when I was your therapist?" "I was wondering..." "All these years later, now that you know how it turned out... what do you think about that pregnancy?" "What... what do you think?" "No." "No, Paul, what do you think?" "Seeing me last week, did it... make you question... that decision?" "No, seeing you only made it worse." "So you've been struggling with this for some time?" "You know, it's ironic, I..." "When I was looking at your, your, um... your case file, I did the math." "Your wife... was pregnant at the same time I was, but you thought that I should get an abortion." "You think I wanted you to get an abortion?" "It was a mutual decision." "We made it together?" "How did we do that, Mia?" "Um, I was 22, you were my therapist." "I was getting ready to go to law school and I got pregnant and you didn't think I should have it." " And what told you that?" " Oh, come on." "Maybe you can remind me." "Why don't you look over your old session notes, or have you not even kept those?" "You sound... you sound kind of angry." "Well, I, you know, you appear to have forgotten the whole thing:" "the gift that I gave you, and, and the decision that we made." " I..." "I don't " " Forget it." "What is the point?" "Obviously, we can't bring the baby back, but we might -- both learn something if we, uh... we talk about it." "It seems to me that we may have different perspectives." "There are facts." " And what would they be?" " You challenged me, constantly." "Did I, did I, did I want to give up law school?" "Was I ready to become a parent?" " Did I want to get married?" " And what were the answers?" "You thought it would ruin my life." "Is that really what I said?" "I do remember talking to you about your, uh, anxiety... in relation to beginning law school and separating from your family, and, uh," "I think you had doubts about your boyfriend at the time." "He was a musician, right?" " A drummer." " Yeah." "You would think his timing would've been better." " It was a joke, Paul." " I..." "I get it." " What was his name again?" " Stevie." "He fixed cars during the week and... did gigs on the weekend." "I'd follow him around to all these dives." "He had this beautiful, long hair that would go flying everywhere." "But, you know, everyone said," " "He's a musician, mechanic, he's not for Mia."" " What did you think?" "I think I loved him... and I..." "I let him go." "Do you know what that's like?" "He was right there... next to me." "What, what were, were we thinking, that somebody better was gonna come along?" "Somebody my, my family -- liked?" "And now... now I'm here and this is what I have." "And I wish I could go back." "To what?" "To that moment... right before I lost him." "You were there, Paul." "Maybe this is why you wanted to see me, Mia, to go back, to go back to that moment and try to understand it." "Yeah, what happened?" "I missed it." "I don't remember how, how Stevie felt about all this." "Oh, he didn't even know I was pregnant." "Yeah, the person I told was, was my father." "He was great about it." "He was completely supportive." "In what way?" "Well, I mean, he was upset about it at first, of course, but then, you know, he said, whatever I wanted to do, he'd, he'd be there for me." "We even made a list of the pros and cons, together." "He did everything, he, he, he found the doctor, he paid for it... he took me to the appointment." "You remember him as being so, so perfectly there, for you, so present, and I was the one who let you down." "He even arranged for the abortion." "Yeah, of course he did, so I wouldn't have to." "You know, I don't think you told me that 20 years ago." "Do you know, why not?" "I didn't come here to talk about my father." "We're fine." "How many fathers and daughters have as good a relationship?" "And you're still... very close." "In fact, he called you twice when I was in the office." "Yeah." "I mean, is there something wrong with that?" "It's better than fighting all the time." "I bet you wish you were as close to your daughter." "You haven't mentioned, uh, your mom." "Oh, she didn't, she didn't know about it." "You didn't tell your mother that you were pregnant?" "No." "That's... kind of striking." "And, and your father didn't tell her?" "No." "So, so it was a kind of a, uh... what, a secret?" "Just between the two of you?" "Oh, the three of us, because you knew." "Okay." "Were there any other secrets?" "All girls have secrets with their dads, that's normal." "Like, uh, like what, for example?" "Umm..." "Well, my dad left the apartment before I woke up every day, to go and open the store." "So I never got to see him in the mornings." "But I would leave early to walk to school." "You know, it was Greenpoint, Brooklyn, everybody did that, then." " And wh-where was your mum?" " Oh, I don't know, probably sleeping." "And I would stop by, and, uh... it was a candy store with magazines, and he would give me this big smile and then he would make coffee for both of us." "I mean, mine was probably mostly milk but it felt very grown-up." "And, uh, we would sit and read the papers together, and he always told me that I was smart." "My mother never knew." "That was a secret." " Just the two of you." " Hm-hmm." "One day..." "I was in the back room... and, uh, this man came in to rob the store." "And I watched as he pointed a gun at my father." "And my father told him to get out... that he had earned that money and that he wasn't give him a penny of it and that he had pressed the alarm button and the police were on their way," "which, you know, was a lie." "How, how, how old were you?" "I was on 2nd grade, so probably 7 or 8." "You must have been terrified." "Yeah, I was, but I was so..." "I was so proud of him, he... but I, I, you know, I didn't know what to do when I, I tried to catch his eye... and he looked at me and... the robber saw him... and he just aimed his gun straight at me." "What happened?" "He yelled, "Do you want to lose your girl?" ""Is that what you want?"" "And... my father, he just, he just emptied the register." "And, you know, I remember that it was a Friday, and so the till was full and the... the guy ran." "My father, he just... he grabbed me and he started... to cry and..." "I, I, I hadn't ever really seen him... do that, you know." "And he was shaking and I told him, I said, "I'm okay", and," ""I'm sorry because, if it wasn't for me, you'd still have your money."" "Well, he was holding me so tight." "He didn't let me go to school that day, he wouldn't let go, and, um, he let me eat my favorite chocolates, and, uh, he made me promise... never to tell my mother." "Why?" "Well, because she, she would have blamed him for... losing all that money and for not having a gun and not having an alarm and, you know, for letting me visit him in the mornings." "You, uh, you obviously had a really close bond." "Did that make you feel, um... important?" "You know, my, my poor dad, in that awful store every day... he paid for law school." "There's something else in, in that memory, the, the way that he held on to you... the way he cried." "You had to stay with him all day?" "Yeah, I mean, it was a life-or-death -- situation." "Did you feel that -- maybe there was a part of you that -- couldn't leave him?" " Maybe that it felt " " You know, no, no, no, that's enough, I..." "I didn't, I didn't come in here for therapy." " Which, which part is the therapy " " You know, the" ""your father and your mother and your childhood"," "I don't wanna, I don't wanna talk about that." "Okay." "What I want to talk, I want a partner... in my life." "I, I want a family and a home... before it's too late, which, which it may already be." " I understand." " Can you help me with that?" "You're telling me you don't want therapy, Mia, but you've come to me for help and you know therapy is all I have to offer." "I think what we have to do is to look at the kind of choices that you've been making up till now," " and why you haven't found " " Okay, I, I, I," "How long does that take?" " How old am I gonna be then?" " I think you came here for a reason, Mia, not just to talk about last week or last month." " I think what we need to do is " " You are not listening to me." "I don't have time for that." "Doesn't it feel like we are in a similar position to 20 years ago, when the clock is ticking and you need to take action?" "I know you feel I failed you back then, I know that." "But if I offer you some kind of quick fix that you know I can't deliver... it's going to end the same way, Mia." "You'll feel angry, you'll feel let down." "Like you did before, and like you did with Bennett." "Bennett?" "It doesn't sound like Bennett was ever gonna give you what you wanted." "What happened was painful but not really surprising." "It was almost set up to fail, Mia, and if I were to go along with your request" " to find you a man, that will be a setup, too." " I, I have to go." "What do I owe you?" "Well..." "I, I can send you the bill." "Okay." "Yeah, whatever you want, I probably make more than you do an hour, but..." "I have to deal with doctors and lawyers all day, so..." "And your office is nicer than mine." "It's homey." " Well, thanks." " Would you like to come back next week?" "Why?" "Because, like you said, I..." "I owe you." "That's, that's... not what I meant." "What, what did you mean?" "Oh, I meant you owe me a child, Paul." "That's what you owe me."