"Captions paid for by Discovery communications" "the things That I've been through " "I think most people Don't believe me" "When I tell them, Because it's so insane," "The stuff we did over there, And the stuff that happened." "Sometimes I lay in bed," "And I scan in my head To try to think" "Of what I could have done To change anything." "We lost charlie, And we lost benjamin." "I think about these guys Every day," "Every single day." "We fight for our brothers" "On our left and our right." "It's devastating To lose a brother," "So, yeah, it affected everybody, You know?" "It's just how you deal with it." "I've spent four years of my life" "Feeling like I got those guys killed." "Is that the case?" "If I don't find out, that's the Way I'm going to feel forever." "go, go!" "in may 2010," "A small unit From the 101st airborne" "Is among those deployed" "In an attempt To defeat the taliban." "it is our vital National interest" "To send an additional 30,000 u.S. Troops" "To afghanistan." "Move, move!" "let's go!" "the korangal valley Is frequently described" "As the valley of death." "hurry up!" "Hurry up!" "Get up there!" "we knew that it was Gonna be the deployment" "That people Would write books about." "I figured I wanted to be Able to document that." "What is that?" "Is that a camera or something?" "The soldiers from the 101st" "Are nearing the end of their Year-long deployment" "To disrupt taliban operations" "In their strongholds Of the korangal" "And pech river valley." "Among the now Battle-hardened platoon," "Private j.J. Mccool And kyle boucher..." "Damn, dude." "...Sergeant chris adams And first sergeant ken shriver." "2-5-8-9." "almost all of our guys Were new to the army." "I think they saw a lot of things They wish they hadn't." "Let her rip!" "you could die In a matter of seconds." "stop messing around And finish 'em all off!" "It is kind of that journey From boyhood to manhood." " aah!" "You!" "Got hurt from it, But it'll be all right." "I don't really think" "There's anything That could bond you more." "All right, Let's go!" "These are my brothers." "This is my family." "the thing About deployment ending" "Is you're never sure of a date." "And they give you vague References to the month," "And then as the months Wear on," "It's like, "Hey, we may leave this week" "Or these two weeks or --"" "You never know Exactly when it is." "Around christmas, we get told That we are pulling out." "You know, we're no longer Staying at michigan." "We're going to destroy michigan" "And level it to the ground." "it was no longer Worth the american lives," "And it just didn't make Tactical sense anymore," "So they shut it down." "your initial reaction Is of anger." "You know, you've lost men." "You've had men wounded." "But then there's The other side to it," "That nobody else Will be killed there." "At the end of the deployment, It started to become like," ""Hey, we're about to be home." "We got two months left." "Let's make sure All of us come home."" "Open up the pink one So I can take a picture." "Hold on, dude." "I want to taste this chap stick," "See if it tastes Like the taliban knew That we were leaving," "And they pushed back even harder" "To almost show That they were the reason" "Why that was happening." "What?" "One of the towers gets hit" "And doesn't answer To radio anymore." "It might have killed him, It might have wounded him." "A million things Could have happened." "He could have been bleeding out." "It is my responsibility To make sure they were okay." "to get to the guard Tower, sergeant shriver" "Would have to run across An open area" "While bullets were flying And rpg's were coming in." "And, you know, nobody wants To be the last casualty." "hey!" "You hit?" "!" "What's up?" "!" "The blast had just Completely rocked his world." "It was literally Right at his head," "And it had made him go deaf." "Where'd it come from?" "go down below." "roger!" "Roger." "I'm in tower five right now." "He's all right." "Can't hear anything." "I just felt like it was my job" "To make sure my guys were good." "For me, they feel more like My grown-up children." "A year at cop michigan" "Forced a lot of the guys To grow up quickly." "And they became hardened men." "But it also kind of Makes you insensitive" "To your loved ones, You know," "Because they didn't Experience that." "They're telling you About their problems," "And about the issues, And they had a bad day." "And you think," ""Well, nobody Was shooting at you." "How is that a bad day for you?"" "That innocence That you used to have " "A lot of guys Left that in afghanistan." "We were pulling out." "But, you know, we still had A mission to do," "Which was security of the area While we were there." "The last 30 days is the most Dangerous time in deployment." "When you're getting close," "When you can see The end of the tunnel " "That is the most dangerous time," "Because people are so focused On getting home." "This is the next stop." "All women and children Out of the way?" "Yeah." "Get in there, you big ox." "Take a gander." "Can this even be opened?" "For the water in it." "I see." "The insurgents will move Through villages" "And hide weapons," "Against the wishes Of the locals." "From there to this room." "This room's getting searched Right now." "So, we'll go And select a village" "And see if we can find anything That doesn't belong there." "hazim." "yeah." "Come here." "Hey." "The kids were running around." "They were curious About what was going on." "candy." "you want candy?" "One of my guys has got candy." "I had sympathy for the kids, 'cause it's like, I can't help But see their situation." "See what these kids Are going through" "And then think, like," ""Man, back in the states, Kids got it good."" "I remember you." "I know exactly who you are." "I always wanted to be a father." "Me and my wife decided" "That we were going To try to have a child." "It was in the back Of my mind, nonstop." "It gave you That extra drive to be like," ""I have got to make it."" "Just make sure you're staying Aware of your surroundings," "All right?" "We know It's almost time to go home." "But guess what?" "The insurgents know, too." "They know you're about to leave." "And my biggest concern" "Was that they were going To start upping their attacks" "And try to say, "We forced them out."" "2-1, this is 2-2." "We are 75% done With this whole compound." "Over." "We got one more room Left right here." "Hey!" "Come on!" "You're almost there, Almost home." "But, you know, The fight is not over yet." "Make sure you're behind cover." "Wait." "Got something over there, All right?" "Stay behind cover." "I was out in the open," "And I had to hurry up And get behind cover." "The end of the deployment Is the most dangerous time." ""I'm almost there." "I'm almost there."" "And if anything, it messes With your mind even more." "You, taliban!" "change your mags." "hey, hold your fire" "for a second." "changing mags." "Sergeant schrack was on point." "Something caught his eye, And he was more that certain" "That's where it was coming from." "See that tree line?" "The tree line In the trough." " roger." " -light that up!" "hey!" "hey, the trees in the trough?" "yeah." "at our 12:00?" "yeah." "where there's that group" "of trees?" "yeah." "We start dumping Some rounds in there." "Change your mags!" "Now there's guys coming down From the top part" "To look for covering fire." "Cease fire." "We were bringing enough rain Down on top of them." "Hey, we're giving up!" "They realized that we had More firepower than they did." "But, for me, there was No relief whatsoever" "Because, you know, You're so close." "And as a leader, I got men Under me that have families." "They have a story at home," "And my biggest concern" "Was getting them back To that story." "It was bad enough Losing chisholm and high." "I want to keep a hold of it." "When your job is to make sure That people come home alive," "And then they don't," "You feel like a failure." "I've spent more or most Of four years of my life" "Feeling like I just Was a complete, utter failure" "And I got those guys killed." "What happened to here?" "All right, cool, man." "Help me out." "Just keep your head down." "Sergeant kyle petry was Commanding a squad of eight men" "When his vehicle was hit By a buried I.E.D." "Two of his men, ben chisholm And charlie high, were killed." "Sergeant petry received Life-threatening injuries." "how you doing, kyle?" "Doing all right, brother?" "Yeah?" "After I got blown up," "I just had so much pain And everything in my back," "I could not move one inch." "Let me know if you got Anything else for me, bob." "I broke my collarbone," "Messed my right shoulder up Real bad," "Hurt my right knee real bad And my right ankle," "Pretty much my whole right leg." "Actually, scratch that." "Times two." "17 times two?" "yeah, 17 times two." "It took my individual pieces Of my spinal column" "And shattered them Into thousands of pieces." "I had to rebuild this person." "This person's What I've had to rebuild" "From what was left." "Try to learn to walk again." "First, I started Doing baby steps." "I'd get up, and I'd just use A little walker and stuff." "I mean, I'd do one stair, And I would be smoked." "I couldn't do any more." "It took everything I had." "But your psychological recovery And stuff," "It's a lot harder Than your physical recovery." "I contemplated suicide Every day." "I died out there." "doing all right, brother?" "Yeah?" "Things continued to escalate." "Attacks became more frequent." "It seemed like every day, We would get under contact." "Just blew up our truck stop." "the taliban got word That we were pulling out" "And increased their attacks Even more on us" "To try to make the perception be To the populace" "That they pushed us out." "Right here's where it hit." "That wrecker looks like It's" "It's like, "Why don't we do it now?" "Why are we going to sit here" "And take the chance of losing People and stuff like that?" "If we know we're going To blow it up, let's do it."" "It was difficult to try To keep the guys motivated," "And..." "Keep them From becoming complacent." "what's up?" "anything to say?" " no." "no." "Just " "Cop michigan." "I guess we're just Trying to survive now," "Because at that point," "It had been less About the greater good And literally just about" ""How do we make it To the end of this?"" "let's do it." "Our last rotation Up on the o.P. " "It was a five-day rotation." "Doing good." "Keep going." "we knew That it was going to be" "The last rotation." "So, we were saying bye To the o.P." "Whoo-hoo!" "We were picking up Their icom chatter" "That they wanted to overrun O.P. Pride rock." "This is the crucial point" "Where the insurgents Are going to be like," ""All right." "We need to make our move." "They're about to leave out." "We need to hit them right now."" "where'd it hit?" "it hit just south of us." "And it fell short." "all right!" "Got it!" "Load!" "We picked up defense Pretty heavily." "Only, each gunfight" "Was getting closer and closer." "The taliban based their entire Operation on propaganda." "That's how they recruit." "They really wanted to make it Look like they won." "They wanted To make it look like," ""Hey, we beat the americans."" "o.P.G. Going out!" "they wanted to overrun O.P. Pride rock." "The taliban definitely tried Everywhere that they could." "They dropped guys off in trucks" "At the bottom of the o.P.," "And they tried To come up that way." "Right here." "Yeah, right here Where we searched it." "Any which way That you can even think" "About coming up on that o.P.," "We had a gun laid on it." "They were messing with The 101st airborne division," "And they weren't going To push anybody out." "At the end of that," "There weren't Any grenades left." "We threw Every single one at them." "it was very intense," "But they were Amazing soldiers," "An outstanding group of men." "I couldn't have asked for more." "could start to see," "Especially from Our vantage point," "Cop michigan Getting smaller and smaller." "The engineers came in" "With vehicles that basically Just shredded wood." "They shredded every Building that we had." "They were knocking down Buildings." "And then they were Knocking down walls." "We didn't want to give The taliban" "Any more strategic advantage," "So it was important to destroy Everything we had built," "So that they didn't have it." "It was odd to see Michigan destroyed." "It had become our home." "I was upset." "I know the men were upset." "It was a little heartbreaking," "Watching our base be demolished." "And then, at the same time, It was a little relieving, 'cause then you know, like," ""Hey, nobody else Is going to get hurt."" "Never would I tell you that" "People would be able To throw a football in the open." "for the first time In the entire year," "We were able to throw A football on the l.Z." "Because we had so much air Support covering our base" "While it was being demolished." "we were saying bye To cop michigan." "We were saying bye To the o.P." "All the while, We were rigging the o.P." "With explosives" "For us to essentially blow The o.P." "5, 4, 3, 2, 1." "Whoo-hoo-hoo!" "Holy" "My god." "What a climax!" "That's it." "We're getting ready to pack up And leave cop michigan." "It's all done." "We left In the middle of the night" "After we blew up the o.P." "It was hard to leave." "Sure." "Sounds weird, But it was hard to leave." "We are leaving cop michigan." "That's right." "See you later, cop michigan." "We are out." "When you're deployed And you're in combat," "All you can think about Is going home" "And seeing your loved ones." "And then you get home, And all you can think about" "Is going back and fighting." "It's almost like I'm two separate people." "My deployment personality Is very desensitized" "To emotion." "You know, And then, my at-home side" "Then it's father and a husband." "You know, I'm trying To be very compassionate" "And understanding." "But I think I'm losing myself somewhere" "In the mix." "You know, I don't know if it's..." "Addiction, but I miss it." "But I miss my men." "How's bravo looking back there?" "The 40-vehicle convoy" "Now needs to drive 80 miles" "Out of the pech valley," "Past known taliban strongholds" "And potentially Hostile villages," "To the forward operating base At jalalabad." "From there, the unit Will fly home to america." "we started driving Out of the pech." "You know, it was just An overwhelming feeling" "Of, you know," ""I made it."" "we're leaving." "We're getting out of here," "But now we're moving into An a.O. We know nothing about." "So, you know, I was constantly on guard." "we're gonna get there tonight." "The semi That was behind my vehicle" "Started experiencing problems." "And the air brakes On the trailer locked up," "And he was dragging His rear tires," "And it shredded a couple Of the tires." "We probably have about 30 To 40 vehicles there now," "A potential target." "And we're letting people Walk right by the truck." "I have a vehicle down right now." "I want everybody back, okay?" "This -- we are not from here." "We " "We come From the pech river valley." "And we do not allow Vehicles on us." "This is a new area to us," "And we just want everybody To stay back" "Until we're finished And we can go, okay?" "Please go." "The locals were acting like It was normal for them" "To be able To move amongst the vehicles," "Which we were not used to." "When we stop, Everybody stays away." "come on." "Go." "It would be so easy To just strap on a suicide vest," "Come up, and blow it up, And take a couple of us out." "Hey!" "The Does it look like?" "!" "Get the away from here!" "chris is a good leader, But he's very hyper-vigilant." "hey!" "My god." "which, I mean, It can burn you out," "But there's a time To be hyper-vigilant." "let's go!" "As far as I'm concerned, You are a security threat." "I don't know who you are." "I don't know if you have weapons In your vehicle," "And I don't know if you got A bomb in your vehicle." "I don't want you Near my vehicle." "All youse out of here!" "Get the Away from my truck!" "I know that we're in a war zone." "I know that we weren't home yet." "Keep your head in the game." "Keep going!" "this is, like, The worst place to break down," "Because we don't know Who these people are If they are friendly," "We don't know If they are anti-american." "Hey." "More of these Showing up." "They're gathering up On the truck." "They're getting closer, Getting closer." "More people are just Coming out of everywhere." "Get all of you." "Go." "Go." "It -- in a sense, It scared me," "Because, you know, We're going to get attacked," "And I may not have That chance to go home" "And have a child with my wife." "Get the away." "Stop." "Every single local villager" "That's a military-age male" "Could possibly be taliban." "Get the out right now!" "So, it's hard To not treat everybody" "Like they want to kill you." "get away From my vehicles!" "Going through A deployment like that," "It affects people." "Get the out of here!" "A lot of the scars are the scars That can't be seen." "To what?" "To calm me down?" "I was the guy, once again," "Who was over-thinking stuff, Being too serious." "But we are not done" "Until our boots are firmly On the ground back in the u.S." "That's when we're done." "this tour Was so much more different" "Mentally, emotionally," "Physically." "There was quite a few times" "That I wondered, "Was I going to make it home?"" "Come on." "Get in, bud." "I'm getting in." "You become a different person." "It's hard to kind of grasp The new reality," "Which is you coming back." "Coming back from the deployment," "Trying to reintegrate yourself," "Was extremely difficult." "If I get around A crowd of people," "The anxiety is so overwhelming." "I started developing Severe anger issues." "Recently, I got to see a doctor." "Getting it out And putting it on the table" "Helped out a lot." "It definitely made my marriage A little easier." "But what really got me going The direction I needed to go" "Was, you know, The birth of my son." "When my son was born," "I knew that I had To make a life change." "It's no longer me." "It's, I now have a child I have to raise." "And, you know, there's no room" "For bottling stuff up" "And, you know, Worrying about things" "That have happened in the past, Things I can't change." "That's one thing I wish I could Tell my brothers and sisters " ""Don't bottle it up, Because all it will do" "Is destroy you from within."" "I.E.D." "I haven't talked about The depression and stuff." "I've kept it to myself." "I just thought it was better That way, you know?" "I've not seen sergeant shriver Since the I.E.D.," "When he was telling me To be safe" "And putting me On the helicopter." "I was kind of waiting For the right moment" "To be able To talk to him one-on-one." "I'd like to tell him thank you In person" "For making the call That saved my life." "Ones that are urgent..." "Sergeant shriver was saying," ""We're not going to put him In the truck" "And drive him back to base." "We're going to put him On a medevac bird."" "And he just kept saying it Over and over again." "And I still -- I really, truly believe" "That sergeant shriver Saved my life." "By making that call On the ground, he saved my life." "I think we're real close now." "My hands are all Sweaty for that." "I'm nervous." "I'm very nervous." "All right." "I think we're here." "Man!" "Look at you dude!" "My goodness." "How are you, man?" "How are you doing?" " good." "How you doing?" "Dude, man." "It's been too long." " man." "Dude this is awesome." "missed you, man." "I missed you, too, Man, so much." "So much, man." "I miss all you guys." "I'm glad you're here, man." "Me, too." "Me, too." "I'm glad to be here." "How are you doing?" "Back, I mean, it's good." "Actually, my back and stuff's Actually never been better" "Than it is right now." "I mean, I couldn't have got Any luckier, dude." "You know?" "So..." "man, you know..." "that's awesome." "You made a pretty important Call, man," "That -- that saved my " "It saved my life." "And I just wanted To say thank you, ken." "Really, man." "I don't think I would be able" "To walk or anything else, Man, honestly," "Without you doing What you did that day." "And I wanted to come here And tell you that face to face." "I didn't want to tell you over No telephone or anything else." "I wanted to come and tell you As a man, dude, you know," "And thank you, dude, For everything." "you're welcome, brother." "thank you so much, man." "I'm here 'cause -- you know," "And my wife Appreciates it." "My whole entire family Appreciates it, man." "I love you, brother." "I love you, too, man." "I remember when we got sergeant Petry loaded up on the bird" "And got him out of there." "There's not much to recover." "shovel?" "We followed the wire all the way To the point of origin." "It was a very small wire." "Yep." "That is it." "that's the command wire?" "yeah, roger." "No." "Those soldiers Would have never seen it." "There's no way they could have." "Hey, dude, stay away from that Mole right there on the edge." "Move over." "There's something " "There's still wires in there." "It was well planted." "Don't touch anything With your bare hands, all right?" "Petry." "I still blame myself For it, man." "I did." "The wire, man, was " "You know, it was buried So far underneath," "There was no way You could have seen anything." "Right, right." "There's no way, brother." "And I'm sorry, man." "I-I didn't know that you were Blaming yourself," "Thinking that you should have Seen it, man." "just hearing that" "I couldn't -- there's nothing I could have done," "It means " "It's like a huge weight Lifted off my shoulders." "And just, you know, Thank you." "Thank you for sharing that With me and everything, man." "I'm glad I could give you" "Some closure on that, dude." "I was really worried That he blamed me," "And that's not the case." "The day after we met, I was able To actually get some sleep" "And not wake up feeling bad." "a lot of the guys talk About trying to do a reunion." "If people have serious things" "That they're still Holding on to," "Then let's get those out." "Let's complete The healing process." "Charlie and benjamin gave" "The ultimate sacrifice For their country." "To me, that's what The definition of a hero is." "In america, A hero is a baseball player." "A hero is a sports figure." "They're not heroes." "Heroes lay their lives On the line" "For somebody else." "when I got back, There's still all these things" "That you probably Hadn't addressed" "The way that you should have," "Because over there, you can't." "tell the gunners Approaching from the rear!" "Dude, that's A I.E.D." "You guys work for doc." "Whatever He needs, you get it for him." "When you get back, you have To deal with these things." "Otherwise, They'll eat you alive." "I don't think That high and chisholm" "Would want us to be sad." "I think They would want us to live" "And to celebrate their lives," "And to do things" "That they weren't Able to afterwards." "I'm having a baby In a couple weeks." "I can't wait till she's here." "It's just an exciting time." "she's very active." "she is." "I just really want to make High and chisholm proud." "And I think that's kind of the Best way to memorialize them." " you ain't cool, chisholm." "yes, I am, sarge." "Yes, I am." "It's my biggest regret " "That he never knew We were pregnant." "I never got to tell him." "Never got to hear the joy In his voice that " "I never got that experience." "The one thing I begged for" "Is that she would have blue eyes Like he did." "She has mannerisms of his." "She can walk in And light up the room." "She can talk to anybody." "There's so many things That I can see of him in her." "And sometimes it's awesome," "And sometimes it hurts." "Ben loved his unit." "He was very attached to them." "There are people That I haven't seen yet," "That need to know That I don't blame them." "a lot of the guys talk About trying to do a reunion," "But everybody's so busy With their lives." "People have had kids," "And everybody is spread Throughout the u.S." "No matter how much time passes, We're still very much connected." "That tour in afghanistan Was the most intense fighting" "That I have personally Ever been involved with." "Reality kicks in really fast" "When bullets Are going both ways," "Things are exploding Next to you." "That's when you realize, Like, it's real." "To trust somebody With your life," "And, in turn," "Be willing to give Your life for them," "Is powerful." "what's up, man?" "how you guys doing?" "What's going on?" "Love you, man." "what's going on, champ." "not much, man." "how you doing, brother?" "good." "How you been?" "Good, man." "Aw, man." "I said there was No criers in the group, man." "what's up, papa bear?" "what's up, man?" "What's up, brother?" "almost none of the guys Have really seen each other." "So..." "Yeah, it was great." "Are we, like, twins or Something?" "What is going on?" "what's up!" "hey." "When I got home, I felt like I could be in a crowded room" "And just feel Completely by myself." "I'm glad you came, dude." "And so..." "When you're with guys That you were in combat with," "You feel normal." "You know?" "You don't feel different." "You look good, man." "Last time I seen you, You had a hole in you, man," "so you're looking good." "yeah, less holes." "less holes." "less holes." "These experiences we shared" "Were so powerful enough" "That this family we created" "Needed to stay together," "And we needed to reconnect." "she had her first day Of kindergarten on thursday." "that old already?" "she's 5!" "My goodness!" "Wow." "most of us haven't talked About a lot of this stuff." "I think we were waiting For the right time." "I see his hand, And it's all like..." "If I don't take anything else Out of it," "I took away 25 brothers." "And if that's what I got From going to war," "It's definitely worth it." "glad to be with you guys." "cheers." "Cheers." "love you guys." "love you guys." "I had a very young platoon." "Get off!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "What's up?" "And they grew up really quick." "As men, soldiers," "I'm proud of them." "I'm proud of how much they grew." "It's a bond That I think is eternal."