"This is the world." "There are almost six billion people on it." "When I was a kid there were three." "It's hard to keep up." "There, that's better." "That's America." "America still sets the tone for the world." "In Indiana, Clark Hodd." "The country's best point guard." "Last week he scored 100 points in a single game." "Erica Sorgi." "You'll see her in the next Olympics." "In Seattle, Dallas Malloy, 16." "Her lawsuit paved the way for women boxers." "She's picturing her ex-boyfriend." "In Indio, California." "Art Stallings." "Check out what pure joy looks like." "In Odessa, Texas." "The great Frank Cushman." "This April, 26 teams will be falling over themselves to sign him." "He's my most important client." "When are you gonna try and concentrate?" "!" "There's genius everywhere." "It's like popcorn." "Some pop..." "Coach, you don't know diddly about golf!" "...some don't." "I'm the guy you don't usually see." "I'm behind the scenes." "I'm the sports agent." "I'm gonna hurt you this year." "My door's always open if you want to get a real agent." "You're welcome, Johnny." "I'll go to a meeting now to talk about you." "I'd kill for you." " We've gotta win." " I hail you." "Jerry, how are you doing?" " How much is this going to cost?" " We both know what you can afford." "I'll just write it down." " I can't afford that." " Winning isn't cheap." "You know the photos of the new player with the owner?" "That's me on the left." "This is where I work." "SMI." "Sports Management International." "Thirty-three agents guiding the careers of 1685 of the most finely tuned athletes alive." "I handle the lives and dreams of 72 clients and get 264 phone calls a day." "I will not rest until you hold a Coke in a new commercial starring you broadcast during a Super Bowl game you're winning." "It's what I do best." "I noticed a few years ago, and didn't say a word." "Was the girl 16 or 17?" "Wanting the big dollar, things went wrong." "There's no proof of anything." "This guy is a sensational athlete." "Are you Calvin Nack?" "Can you sign my card?" "I'm sorry, fella, I can't sign this." " Only Pro-Jam Blue Dot cards." " Just wanted an autograph." "Lately, it's gotten worse." "Oh, he goes down!" "Hi, baby." "Do you know your name?" "Wait, it's coming." "My name is Steve Remo." "I play for Chicago." "This lady here is my wife." "Hi, baby." "This is my boy." "And this is..." "Wait." "My agent." "My agent." "I gotta play this weekend." "If I play at 65 percent I get a bonus." "I gotta get the bonus." " Okay, Jesse." "Take care, little guy." " Mr. Maguire?" "This is his fourth concussion." "Shouldn't he stop?" "It would take a tank to stop your dad." "It would take all five Super Trooper VR Warriors to stop your dad." "Right?" "Right?" "Fuck you!" "Who had I become?" "Just another shark in a suit?" " -skyrocketing salaries, and you are one of the guys responsible." "He's a sensational athlete." "Two days later, at our Miami conference, a breakthrough." "I have $18 million..." "Breakdown?" "Breakthrough." " I just wanted an autograph." " Do you know your name?" "I couldn't escape one simple thought:" "I hated myself." "No, here's what it was:" "I hated my place in the world." "I had so much to say, no one to listen." "And then it happened." "It was the oddest, most unexpected thing." "I began writing what they call a mission statement, not a memo." "A suggestion for the future of our company." "A night like this doesn't come along often." "I seized it." "What started out as one page became 25." "Suddenly, I was my father's son again." "I was remembering the simple pleasures of this job." "The way a stadium sounds when my player performs well." "The way we're meant to protect them, in health and in injury." "With so many clients, we had forgotten what was important." "I wrote and wrote and wrote." "And I'm not even a writer." "I was remembering my mentor's words, Dicky Fox, who said:" "The key to this business is personal relationships." "Suddenly, it was all pretty clear." "The answer was fewer clients." "Less money." "More attention." "Caring for them, caring for ourselves." "Just starting our lives really!" "I'll be the first to admit, what I was writing was touchy-feely." "I didn't care." "I've lost the ability to bullshit." "It was the me I'd always wanted to be." "I took it to a Copymat and printed up 110 copies." "The cover looked like Catcher in the Rye." "I entitled it, The Things We Think and Do Not Say:" "The Future of Our Business." "That's how you become great, man." "Hang your balls out there." "Thanks." " Everybody got one." " Some animals walk on two feet." "They don't want peace." "Society needs protection from these warped minds." "Boom!" "This is Jerry Maguire." "Did those manuscripts...?" " They've all gone out." " They did?" "No, that's fine." "Thank you." "Finally, somebody said it." " Good work, Maguire." " Yeah, yeah!" "I was 35." "I'd started my life." " How long do you give him?" " About a week." " You're with the sports people?" " Jerry Maguire, SMI." "Bobbi Fallon, BPI." "I'm producing the Coke commercials." "Well, good luck with that." "Hi, my son is allergic to the blankets." "I was wondering..." "That's all we have, okay?" " I'm sorry if I was rude just now." " That's okay." "We're in it together now." "Why is it so easy to talk with you?" "Tell me about your fiancée." " We're not at your pitch yet." " Tell me how you proposed." "Honey, are you all right?" "Do you want some juice?" "Thank you." "We're hiking up through the pools." "Got the ring in my pocket." "I'm a little nervous." "I'm lagging." "She says to me get this:" ""Hurry up, klutz."" "It bothered me somewhat." "I got quiet." "Then she got quiet." "I decide I'm not gonna propose." "The mood is not right." "At this point I know she knows that I was gonna propose." "She knows I know." " So we check back into the hotel." " How sad." "Little do I know that my assistant assumed that I've now proposed." "She's got a band to play "Here Comes The Bride" when we walk in." " I love it." " All the football guys are watching." "There's even an ESPN crew." "So I turn to her, sort of grandly say:" ""This is me, klutz, asking you goddess of rock climbing, to marry me."" "I took out the ring." "I mean, I don't much like big scenes but she said yes right there." "Some of the toughest men in football wept." " We're getting married in February." " You'll be married forever." " What's wrong, Mom?" " First class is what's wrong, honey." "It used to be a better meal, now it's a better life." "Ray?" "Come on, buddy!" " High five!" " Ray!" " Oh, God." "Ray!" " Excuse me, can I help you?" "Jerry Maguire." "I work in your office." "I was on a junket." "I know, Dorothy Boyd in Accounts." "You have this poster of Einstein's face on Shaquille O'Neal's body." "That's pretty good." " What did you lose?" " My son, my mind." "Ray!" "Ray!" "Listen, Dorothy." "Dorothy?" "While I go look for him, grab this gentleman here." "You scared me." "You scared me!" " Don't do that again, ever!" " Okay, Mommy." "Ever, ever, ever!" "Okay?" "Ever!" "Dorothy?" " Take care." " Thank you so much." "I loved your memo, by the way." " You did?" " Yeah." "Thanks." "Actually, it was just a mission statement." "In this age, optimism is a revolutionary act." " You think so?" " Yeah." "I appreciate that." "I didn't know if I should write it." "It was 2:00 in the morning." "Some of the stuff I just, you know..." "No." "That part about embracing what is virginal..." "Just a second." "...and force commerce to give a little back for the greater good." "God, I was inspired, and I'm an accountant, you know?" "I mean, to respect yourself enough to say it out loud." "To put yourself out there like that, so nakedly." "I don't know." "It got me." "Is this bothering you?" "No, this is great." " It's great." " One, two, three!" "Do you need a ride?" "You okay?" " What?" " Need a lift?" "Oh, no!" "Yeah, I'm sure that would just make your day." "To drive us out to Manhattan Beach." "Little tiny streets." "Playing chicken with traffic." "Your life flashing before you." " I've obviously had too much coffee." " No problem." "Oh, there's my sister, Laurel, to pick us up." "Ray Dorothy." "Pleasure." "Bye." "Hey, Ray, hey you." "I'm double-parked, let's go." "Sorry, honey." "Is this everything?" " Come here." " Dorothy?" "Man, whoever snagged him must be some classy babe." "Don't ever stop fucking me!" "Sooner or later we'll have to stop!" "Never been better!" "Never better!" "Never better!" "Open your eyes." "If you want me to be with another woman for you, I would do it." "I'm not interested in it." "At a time it felt normal." "But it was a phase." "A college thing." "Like torn Levi's or law school for you." "Want anything from the kitchen?" "You don't have to tell me everything." "This is what intimacy is." "We have dinner with Wade Cooksy tomorrow." "I know about the party." "Your buddy worked his ass off for this." "All the guys from the office are coming." "Calm down, relax, act surprised, and have an amazing time." " Oh, my God." "You!" "You!" " Sorry." "Jerry!" "Got you!" " Hey, college buddy." "Congratulations." " Thank you." " For you." " Thank you." "And this is for you." "Finest cigar my club has to offer." "This is what it's all about, man." "Everybody loves you." "Pisses me off!" "Whether you're country, redneck or a freak young or old, from Moscow, London or Memphis Jerry Maguire will still be the king of rock 'n' roll." " Little black book." " When I think of him, my heart pounds." " I know Jerry pretty well." " Hi, Jerry, remember me?" "We still on for lunch?" "He was no slouch in bed." "This is the funniest thing." "See you later." "" "Good idea that Jerry get married." "He won't be alone." " He cannot be alone." " He can't be alone." "He's almost phobic." "Jerry is great at friendship, he's just bad at intimacy." " He can't be alone." " He can't be alone." " He can't say, "I love you."" " He's an agent." "He lies." " I love you too." " Hey, love you too." " Love you too." " Love you." "I love you, man." " I love you." " I love you." " Morning, Jenny." " Sorry I missed the party." "Good morning, Jerry." "Marcee's here." "She's late for her plane to Phoenix." " Marcee." " You finally made it." "Rod is very, very upset." " Tyson, no!" " Okay, Mommy." " Tyson, hello." " Long time no see!" " Tyson!" " How can I help?" "Jerry, I'm pregnant, and I'm incapable of bullshit." "Where is our offer?" " Cronin's for lunch?" " This is Bob Sugar." " Knock." " Pleasure." " You've called our house." " Sorry to interrupt." "I don't know what you do, but my husband has an image." "Putting him in a waterbed commercial?" "You're making him common." "He deserves the big four:" "Shoe, car, clothing, soft drink." "I know about the four endorsement jewels." " Wow." " He and I majored in marketing." "We came to play!" "The dirty man is back!" " Hey." "'Hey!" "You Okay?" " Fine." "What's up?" " Came here to let you go." " Pardon me?" " Came here to fire you, Jerry." "It's real." "You should say something." "Shit." "A crowded restaurant so there won't be a scene." " You ungrateful..." " You need to see yourself." "You said fewer clients, you put it on paper." "You know what I went through?" "Fire my mentor?" "Carrying that for a week?" "Could you get past yourself?" " You'll lose." " You want smaller." "Now I want all my clients and yours too." "Whatever." "Wendy, bring me my numbers." " Cush." " Cush, it's Sugar." "Look, you're the most important guy in sports." "How does that feel?" "I just wanna play football." "Dad, one of the agents." "Wendy, Cushman's line is busy!" "Call till you get through." "And bring me my numbers!" "J.J., what's up?" "Have you talked to Maguire?" "He had a meltdown." "I've talked to Doritos about you." "They're interested." "Talk to Rick." "Martinez..." "Carlo, right now you pay 25 percent to SMI." "I'd cut my commission by 7 percent." "I don't know if it was drugs, but the guy freaked." "Do you want him representing you?" "How's your mom?" "I'm gonna make this easy for you." "Just what does your heart tell you?" "Sorry to hear that." " Hey, what's going on?" " They've fired Jerry Maguire." "SMI, this is Cleo." "Hey!" "You're making a mistake." "I'm concerned about your family and your future." "I have a long relationship with SMI." "Does he know what it's like to be black?" "Bob Sugar?" "He's..." "He's entertaining, funny." "I don't know what it's like to be black?" "I'm Mr. Black People!" "Don't make it harder than it is." "I've got to be honest, this is very distressing for me." "Remember that stripper's name?" "I do, it was April." "That's my job." "It's not about the money, I do it all for you." " Still holding for Katarina." " I'm talking about money." "It's been a great day." "Are you in or out?" "It's show business." "You are in." " That's good." " I wanna cry for what they did to you." "If it wasn't for the Acura deal, you know I'd go with you." "Oh, Jerry." "Oh, God!" "Call waiting." "Who could be calling me now?" " Hi, Kathy Sanders." " Still me." "Kathy, why are you crying?" "Oh." "So you're in?" "Rod, Jerry Maguire." "How are you doing?" "Jerry Maguire!" "How am I doing?" "I'll tell you." "I'm sweating my contract." "Bob Sugar says I'm missing out by being with you." " That's how I'm doing." " That's why I'm calling." "No, I hear that." "But do you truly hear what I'm saying?" " I heard you say it, Daddy." " The best thing is getting together." " Would you mind holding?" " Didn't you say more attention?" " Didn't you tell my wife that?" " I said more personal attention." "Good!" "We're just getting started on the things you need to know." "I will kill for you." "I will maim for you." "I am a valuable commodity!" "I see a dude out to kill me, I tell myself, "Catch the ball."" "Touchdown!" "I make miracles happen." "Are you in or out?" "I'm from Arizona." "I broke Arizona records." "I went to Arizona State!" "I'm a Sun Devil!" " And now you want Arizona dollars." " Exactly." "Jerry, I'm sitting here with an ant problem." "I got ants." "My brother's room is flooded." " Rod." " We got a flood in his room." "Say hello to Maguire." " Hello, brother Maguire." " Hello, Tee Pee." "My house is falling apart!" "Nobody's looking out for Rod Tidwell." "And I'm supposed to be a superstar." "I need a decision." "In or out?" "You're gonna be so happy you stayed with Bob Sugar!" "I am a role model." "I have a family to support!" "Hear me?" "I want my contract in Arizona!" "But I like you." "Yes, I like you." "My wife likes you." "You're good to my wife." " I will stay with you." " That's great." " Are you listening?" " Yes." "That's what I'm gonna do for you." "God bless." "This is what you'll do for me..." "Are you listening?" "What can I do for you?" "Just tell me, what can I do?" "It's a very personal, very important thing." "It's a family motto." " You ready?" " Ready." "Making sure you are, brother." "Here it is:" "Show me the money." "Show me the money!" "Doesn't that make you feel good?" " Say it with me, Jerry." "Show you the money." "You can do better than that!" "Say it!" " Bob Sugar's on the other line." " Show you the money." " No, not you, show me the money." " Show me the money." " Louder!" " Show me the money." " You got to yell!" " Show me the money!" " I need to feel you." " Show me the money!" "Show me the money!" "Show me the money!" " You love this black man." " I love the black man!" " Show me the money!" " I love black people!" "I love black people!" " Who's your motherfucker?" " You're my motherfucker!" " What you gonna do, Jerry?" " Show me the money!" "Congratulations, you're still my agent." "Well, don't worry." "I won't do what you think I will which is just flip out!" "Let me just say as I ease out of the office I helped build." "I'm sorry, but it's a fact that there's such a thing as manners." "A way of treating people." "These fish have manners." "These fish have manners." "In fact, I'm starting a new company and the fish will come with me." "Call me sentimental but the fish are coming with me." "Okay." "If anybody else wants to come with me this will be a moment of something real and fun and inspiring in this godforsaken business and we will do it together." "Who's coming with me?" "Who's coming with me?" "Who's coming with me besides Flipper here?" "This is embarrassing." "All right." "Wendy." " Shall we?" " Oh, Jerry I'm three months away from the pay increase." "Okay." "Okay." "I will go with you." "Dorothy Boyd, thank you." "Right now?" "Don't do it." "Bye." "We'll see you all again." "Sleep tight." "Let's see how they do without us." "Thank you." "You will have a medical program, right?" "Sure, yes, medical." "I don't know." "When you think about what you did, don't panic." "We're gonna be great." "We're gonna be great!" "I wonder what he said." "My favorite aunt is hearing-impaired." "He just said, "You complete me."" "That's a good point." "We come to support each other but we don't listen to one another." "Women are taught not to see each other as good people." "We see each other as enemies." "We compete over men, jobs..." " It's true, we compete." " I used to really hate women." "And then I met you guys, and you're like me." "It's important because I know you can be my friends." " What about medical?" " Of course." "A single mother can't be frivolous." "If you read what he wrote, you'd have left too." "And there are other jobs." " Do you know the cost of child exams?" " Yes, $150." "And that's when he's well." " Where is Ray?" " Asleep in the living room." "Next time you lecture me don't leave my boy alone with that divorced women's group." "So I finally, finally got in touch with my anger." "What did I do?" "Function, function." "Forward motion is everything." "Cush saves all." "You go to Texas." "Keep one superstar, and they'll all follow." "There's no loyalty." "The first person who told me that was you." " I was trying to sleep with you." " Well, it worked." "And I will not let you fail." "You are Jerry Ma-fucking-guire!" " That's right." " King of the house calls!" " Master of the living room." " Okay, okay." " Okay, this is working." " You are not a loser." " Who said anything about "loser"?" " Mistake." "Wrong word!" "Let's leave." "I'm in the back den, Jerry." " Would you like a bloody beer?" " I'm fine." "Beer and tomato juice." "I'm fine." "We've spent a lot of time together, Matt." "You know I care about you and your son." "You know I'm a straight shooter." "If you stay with SMI..." "We decided to stay with you." "I'm not really a hugger." "I can't let go." "I told myself, "if he shows up, we stick with him."" " Hey, Jerry." "How's it going?" " Hey, Cush." "How are you?" " You remember Keith?" " Yeah." "I want him to go number one in the draft, and I want him to play." "It'll either be Denver or San Diego." "He'll go first." "I'll either surf or ski." " Denver's where he should be." " I'll give it everything." "You know I don't do contracts, but what you do have is my word." "And it's stronger than oak." " Hello." " Dorothy?" "Jerry Maguire." " Is Avery there?" " She had an NFL meeting in Atlanta." " Jerry." " Hello?" "Hello?" "Sorry, that was my son and the nanny." " They're in our office?" " Nanny?" "I prefer child technician." "I had the calls transferred to my house so I could work here." "That's fine." "Dorothy, we are back." "We are so very, very back." "I re-signed Cush." "We're set." " I am so happy for you." " Happy for us." "Happy for us." "Okay, happy for us." "Rod, being at the draft is good." "No, Rod, just get on the plane and meet us at the gate." " Good." "See you there." " God bless." "Avery will meet you at the B-gate at 4:15." "Do you know the human head weighs eight pounds?" "Did you know Troy Aikman, in six years, has passed for 16,303 yards?" " Bees and dogs can smell fear." " I booked Tidwell at the Marriott." " Does he smoke?" " I don't know." "Did you know Pete Rose has 4256 hits and he's not in the Hall of Fame?" "Do you know that my neighbor has three rabbits?" "I can't compete with that." " So did we go over everything?" "Yes?" " Yep." " Back on Tuesday, right?" " Yeah." "Ray, have fun at school." "Wish me luck." "Luck!" " Hey, Rod." " Hey, Jerry..." "Cush, how are you, man?" "Jerry, we should be selling these." "This is my agent, you might want his autograph." "My hand's getting tired." " Excuse me." " What's happening?" "Are you Hootie?" "No, I am not Hootie." "What is it gonna be, San Diego or Denver?" "I'll surf or ski." "He'll either surf or ski." "Rod, at last I find you." "Why am I here?" "It's like I'm five years late for the prom." " Nobody gives a damn about me." " Let's walk through this lobby." "I want all the media and player reps to see you for what you are:" "The best-kept secret in the NFL." "The most commanding wide receiver." "You're fast, fierce, charismatic." "You're the man." "You are the man!" "Ready?" "Let's go." "Let's walk." "The fiercest." "You are the man." " Let's do it." " Hi, Mel." "Hi, Torn." "Where's Cush?" "Good thing you held onto Cushman." "San Diego or Denver?" "I want you to meet Rod Tidwell, 110 catches, 1550 yards last year." "Now I wanna talk about Rod Tidwell." "A fierce receiver." "I came all that way just to walk the lobby." "It might have even worked." "Yeah?" "Let's do that shit again." "Shooting a Reebok ad down there." "Where are my endorsements?" "I didn't get no love from Chevy, no love from Pepsi." "I didn't get no love from that Energizer Bunny or Nike." "Obviously, I didn't get love from Reebok." " Did I tell you my Reebok story?" " I gotta get back to Cush." "Oh, your golden paycheck." "But wait, I'll boil it down for you." "Fuck Reebok!" "All they do is ignore me." "Always have." "Always have." "You know what was great down there?" "You unloaded that large chip on your shoulder." "And you let people in." "You were brilliant." " Brilliant?" " Brilliant." " Really?" " Take care, I'll see you tomorrow." " You love me now?" " I'm about showing you the money!" "I was just testing you, but to hear you say that makes me love you, baby." "You know?" "Jerry, come back!" " How was your flight?" " Good." " What size are you?" " 12 and a half." "Grab a couple pairs of them new shoes by the door." "Cush, Matt, we have a decision to make." "San Diego just came in with a last-minute scenario." "It's big." "He's got to go number one." "San Diego wants to trade up with Denver." "They want him bad." " What about Denver?" " This stuff happens before a draft." "San Diego, Matt they're offering seven years for 30." "Signing bonus of 8." " Should I unplug the phone?" " Reporters keep calling." "You just be friendly and say, "No comment."" "I'm no good at talking and saying nothing." "Well, let me..." "For you, it's a pleasure." "This is Cush." "It's Sugar." "Is Maguire there?" "Sniff if he is." "Remember, you're in with the big boys now." "Let your dad talk, and know that I got you the deal." "This is business, not friendship." "Be strong because you're global now." "Okay, buddy?" "See you later." "No comment." " He's got it wrong." " You're on TV again." "I'm sick of me, already." "Before I go back to Denver, we should put something on paper." "Something that says you're with me." "Not right now, Jerry." "Do I know everything there is to know here, Matt?" "You're not talking with Bob Sugar, are you?" "Apparently, Denver would only deal with him." "Said who?" "Sugar?" "I'm learning as I go." "So you empowered him to deal with Denver behind my back?" "I'm sorry..." " I love my son." " I love your son!" "I brought Denver to 20 million." "They always deal with me." "You listened to Sugar." "Bob Sugar, Matt, is a child." "You let that snake in the door?" "Listen, rookie mistake." "I'll fix this Denver thing for you." "You didn't sign anything with Sugar, right?" "Matt?" "Tell me you didn't sign." "Because I'm still sort of moved by your "my word is stronger than oak" thing." "We signed an hour ago." "You were in the lobby with the black fella." "Sorry, Jerry." "I just want to play football." " What do I do?" "How do I spin it?" " Honey, it's spun." "What did I do to you?" "It's all about you, isn't it?" ""Soothe me, save me, love me." I have to finish my job." "Everything's on the run." "You and I are sales people." "We sell." "It's not "Love me" or "Trust my handshake" it's "Make the sale!" "Get it signed."" "Jump right into my nightmare." "So now I can't be honest?" " I'd prefer loyalty." " What'd we say when we got together?" "Brutal truth." "Remember?" "I think you added the "brutal."" "There's a sensitivity thing that some people have." "I don't have it." "I don't cry at movies, or gush over babies I don't do Christmas early and I don't tell a man who screwed up our lives:" ""Oh, poor baby." That's me, for better or worse." "But I do love you." " Avery, it's over." " I didn't hear it." " Something is missing." " You've never been alone." " Listen." " You can't be alone." "It's over." "No one has ever dumped me." "I'm not trying to make history." "I climbed to the top of El Capitan in 18 hours and 23 minutes." "I can make this work." "No." "Oh, Jerry." "I didn't ever want to hurt you." "I won't let you hurt me, Jerry." "I'm too strong for you." "Loser!" "Roll with the punches." "Tomorrow's another day." "Taxi!" "You're loving me now, aren't you?" "Very much." "Taxi!" "Is it my imagination?" "Didn't we arrive in a limo?" "The question is..." "I hope I don't sound like a shrink here, but..." " ...what's wrong?" " Man, I'm just a big disappointment." "Jerry, everybody cries on this show." "If you tested positive, quit doing blow." "Upset about your baby?" "Why'd you leave her mother?" "I knew her, she's okay." "The media don't understand the pressures $54 million comes with." " This is some bullshit." " What are you doing with me, Rod?" " What?" " Don't you even see?" "I'm finished." "I am fucked!" "Twenty-four hours ago I was hot!" "Now I'm a cautionary tale." "I don't need this jacket, because I'm cloaked in failure!" "I lost him the night before the draft." "Why?" "Let's recap." "Because a hockey player's kid made me feel superficial." "I ate some bad pizza, went to bed and grew a conscience!" "Well, boo-fucking-hoo!" "I got a shelf life of 10 years." "My next contract has to bring the dollars that'll last a long time." "I'm done in five years." "What's my family gonna live on?" "Huh?" "What you get me." "So I won't hear your shit." ""Oh, I lost Cush and Avery..."" "Could I have another drink, please?" "Anybody else would have left you by now but I'm sticking with you." "I said I would." "If I gotta ride your ass, you gonna show me the money." "You gonna show me the money." "We together on this." "You know what I'm saying?" "We gonna be one." "The both of us!" "You know?" "!" "Oh, my God." "You have no messages." "He's coming." "He just lost his best client." "I invited the guy over." "This is not a guy." "It's a syndrome." ""Early midlife, hanging by a thread I can't be alone, I'll call my long-suffering assistant" syndrome." " But if that's what you want..." " Honey, he's engaged." "And for the first time, I'm part of something I believe in." "Okay." "But he better not be good-looking!" "I'm Jerry Maguire." "Hello." "You're just the way I pictured you." " I'm her disapproving sister, Laurel." " Honesty." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Dorothy!" "Dorothy, your boss is here." "Hello." "Hey, you." " Thanks for inviting me over." " Sure." "Where's the little guy?" " He's sleeping." " Sleeping." "I'm so glad you're home." "That alone thing is not my specialty." "Oh, my God!" "Well, I broke up with Avery." " Gosh, you know, that's too bad." " No, it's better because we'll still be friends." "It's better now than later." " I'm dying here, aren't I?" " It's a really bad cut." "Just think if I got her the ring she really wanted." "Why don't you have a seat?" "I'll get some aloe vera for the cut." " Do you have something to drink?" " Sure." "I heard." "No kidding." "I saw the shadow of curious shoes under the door." "He'd go home with a gardening tool if it showed interest." "Use the frosted glasses." " Thanks." " You're welcome." " I warmed up some chicken." " That's the girl I love!" "I'll only say this:" "You've always been responsible with Ray." "He shouldn't hear a strange man's voice here." " Some drunken stranger." " As opposed to 10 angry women?" "Lean forward." "Okay, I've got it." "It's still edible." "Change your shirt." "Hi, Jerry." "Hi, Ray." "Aren't you supposed to be in bed?" "Yeah." "Don't worry, I won't tell." "The human head weighs eight pounds." " Jerry Maguire." " I think it's this one." "You should dream about me." "I should be on your mind constantly." "That's when the dollars will flow." "The kwan will appear." " Who is this?" " Who is this?" "This is the Rod Tidwell." "I need to speak with my agent." " We should be one." " You a football player?" "A football player?" "I'm a teacher about to whomp your ass!" "Put Jerry on the phone!" "You just can't fall for some drowning man." " Be practical." " Practical?" "Turtleneck, sensible." "V-neck, sexy." "Turtleneck." "Don't say that." "What are other women my age doing right now?" "They're out partying, trying to get a man." "Trying to keep a man." "Not me, I'm trying to raise a man." "This one." "I've got a 24-hour-a-day reminder of Roger for my whole life." " I've had three lovers in four years." " That's not bad." "All of them ran a distant second to a good book and a warm bath." "Look at me." "I'm the oldest 26-year-old in the world." " Now, how do I look?" " Good." "Yeah?" "Thanks." "72% of new buyers are African-American." "That's what I am." " You talk too much." " Talking is primitive communication." " It was fun talking to you." "Bye." " Jerry...!" " I'll make a ham sandwich." " I wanna say one thing." " You do listen to me." " Well, I love you." "Mayo?" "...Repression, as a religion." "When my daddy retired from the United Way after 38 years he said, "I wish they'd given me a more comfortable chair."" "And then my dad died." "My mom took me to the zoo, and I loved the zoo." "And..." "Wait." " I want to tell you more about my dad." " No, let's go to the zoo." "You're right." "It's just my whole life, I've been trying to talk." "I mean, really talk." "But no one wants to listen." "You know that feeling?" " They just look at you..." " Let's go to the zoo, right now." "The zoo, you know..." "The fucking zoo's closed." "You said "fuck."" "Yeah, I did." " Is that...?" " I won't tell." "Well, then I'm gonna have to take you to the zoo." " I gotta go to bed, my mom's coming." " Oh, wait..." "I hear my mom." "I gotta go to bed." " Thanks for listening." " Sure." "Okay." "Drinks, food, and I called you a cab." " Good idea." " Quiet, I have a little boy asleep." "Right." "Our company." "Look." "A little..." "A little speech before I go." "Do not worry about your future." "You and your son, we, are just fine." "You still have a job." "But let me tell you something about Jerry Maguire, okay?" "You come after me, and you will lose." "No, because I am a survivor." "I'm a survivor!" "Dorothy Boyd, you are with the Lord of the Living Room." "The King of the Kingdom!" "And I am drunk." "We meet again." "Here." "Truth?" " Sure." " I care about the job, of course." "But mostly, I just want to be inspired." " Me too." " What you wrote inspired me." "I'm working with you because of that memo." "I loved that memo." "It's a mission statement." "Well..." "Sorry about the hand." "You know that feeling?" "You're not completely embarrassed yet but you glimpse tomorrow's embarrassment?" "Don't worry about it, boss." "Oh, shit." "You said "boss."" " Yeah, I did." " Now I feel like Clarence Thomas." " No, don't feel like Clarence Thomas." " I do." "I feel like him." " I'm, like, harassing you right now." " Well, I may not sue." " Good evening." " Good evening." "Look, don't worry, okay?" "I mean, don't..." "We'll be okay because I am gonna take my one client and we are gonna go all the way." "Because, hey..." "I'm back." "Don't worry." " Way to go, Rod." "Good catch." " You can't..." "All right, good job." " Gotta talk about his contract, Dennis." " Meet me at The Crocodile, 8:00." "You bet." "Thank you." "Tell me you got lost." "I thought I was your friend." " Something came up." " Okay. $10 million for four years." " You're dreaming." " Ten for four." "It's a deal." " He's got an attitude problem." " He listens to me." "I can help you." " He's a shrimp." " He broke all the records last year." "I want a prototypical wide receiver who's 6'3", 220." "Not some guy who's 5'10" and bitches." "Dennis, I'm asking you for a favor." "I introduced you to your wife." "We've spent Christmases together." " Holiday cheer." " Jerry, you're reaching." "I'm asking for a favor." "Don't do this to me." "We have history." "We got history, all right." "You drove the prices up for years." " It's your turn at the end of the line." " Dennis, don't..." "I talked with Dennis Wilburn about your renegotiation." "Talking?" "Jerry Rice, Andre Reed, Chris Carter." "I smoked all these fools!" "Yet they're making the big dollars." "They are making the kwan." "And you're talking." " Kwan?" "That's your word?" " Hell yeah, that's my word." "Some dudes might have coin, but they'll never have kwan." "What is...?" "It means love, respect, community and dollars." "The entire package." "The kwan." "Great word." " Towel?" " No, I air-dry." "Listen, Rod." "I say this with great respect for you." "But those players you mentioned are marquee players." " And this deal where, you know, we..." " Marquee?" "This is a renegotiation." "We want more from them." "Show them your pure joy of the game." "Bury the attitude a bit, and show them..." "Wait." " You're telling me to dance." " No." "I'm saying to get back to the guy who first started playing." "Way back when you were a kid, it wasn't just about the money, was it?" "Was it?" "Was it?" "Do your job." "Don't you tell me to dance!" " Fine." " Hey." "Hey!" "I am an athlete." " I am not an entertainer!" " Fine!" "I do not dance, and I do not start pre-season without a contract!" " Fine, fine, fine!" " Jerry, talk to me." "Breathe!" "Breathe, Jerry." "I am out here for you." "You don't know what it's like to be me." "It is an up-at-dawn, pride-swallowing siege that I will never fully tell you about, okay?" "!" "God." "Help me!" "Help me, Rod." "Help me help you." "Help me help you." "Help me help you." "I'm sorry." "You are hanging on by a very thin thread." "And I dig that about you!" "No contract?" "I'll help me, I'll help you, help everybody!" " That's my man." " Hey, I'm happy to entertain you." "Help me!" "Help me!" " See you in Los Angeles." " Jerry." "Come on, man." "See, that's the difference between us." "You think we're fighting." "I think we're talking." "Unless you love everybody, you can't sell anybody." "Dennis Wilburn is faxing his offer for Tidwell on Thursday morning." " He said you'd be happy..." "Glad." " He say happy or glad?" "Glad." "He said glad." "Glad." " Glad is good." " We could sure use that commission." "Here." "I did a rundown on where you stand financially." " My condo was devalued." " You don't have to explain." "The other night, I wanna apologize." "What happened there?" "We're coworkers." "We can't have atmosphere." "I'm very relieved you said that." "You know, the other night, I was lonely." "I felt you understood something." "We've got a company to think about." "I'll never take advantage of you again." " Good." " You walked out on a job for me." "Can this be right?" "Exactly." "I know you need to be alone with your thoughts." "Think about what's wrong and how to fix it." "And, you know, just be alone." "Alone." " You wanna go out to dinner?" " I know a great place." "I broke up with that loser, and then he started stalking me." " What do you mean by stalking?" " Coming over uninvited." ""Coming over uninvited"?" "So Romeo on your balcony is a stalker?" "Excuse me." "Ladies?" "Good evening, I'm looking for Dorothy Boyd." " She's in the kitchen." " Laurel." "Hello." " Where are you taking her tonight?" " You're the nanny?" " Au pair." " Au pair?" "I see." "He likes you." "My goodness." "I've got some gifts for you." "Do you like presents?" "Good, all right." "Arizona Cardinals." "It's the team Rod plays for." " Dropping your laundry off?" " Want a Steelers hat?" " For me?" " I got some things." " I've got it in gray too." " Thanks." "You're very welcome." "Look what I've got here." "An energy bar." "It'll keep you up all night." "That's not a good idea." "Aunt Laurel will eat that." "It looks like you've got a fan." "That's more than a dress, that's an Audrey Hepburn movie." "I got revved up at the thought of an evening among adults." " No offense, buddy." " Jerry, you meet Chad?" "Am I dressed okay?" "I didn't realize..." "Don't let him stay up too late." "Tonight, I'm gonna teach Ray about jazz." "That'll put him to sleep early." "I want to go too." "No, sweetheart, you stay here with Chad and be good." "Kiss me." "Let's go." " Good night." " Good night." "Give me a hug." " I'll meet you at the car." " Okay." "You forgot your keys." "I've never seen him kiss a man just like a dad!" "Wasn't that thrilling?" "He must have been needing that." "Don't cry at the start of a date." "Cry at the end, like I do." "Don't be a shoulder for him to cry on either." " Keys." " Oh, keys." "Oh, dear." "Ever since you've met me, I've been..." "It was laziness, my breakup with Avery." "You know that saying?" ""It's nobody's fault." It's a lie." "Somebody is always to blame." "You go for it like you do a job." "You work at it." "But maybe love shouldn't be such hard work." "Yeah, maybe so." "But it's not every day you say goodbye to a woman like that." " A song for the lovers?" " No, thank you." " No, no, we work together." " This is like an office meeting." "But I know what you mean." "It wasn't like my marriage to Roger was any good, even before..." "Before...?" " Jerry?" " What?" "Let's not tell our sad stories." "I'll be back in just a second, okay?" "They sting." "Let Chad catch the bee in the glass." "He won't hurt him." "You've got such a good heart, buddy." "I love you." "Well, this would be good night." "Good night." "I'll see you tomorrow." "It's a big day." "Good night." "Good night." "Oops." " Let me fix this." " Good idea." "I think you should not come in." "Or come in." " Depending on how you feel." " The same to you." "I have to go in." "I live here." "Right." "I'll come in." "Good." "Are you sure we want to do this?" "Oh, hell, yes." " Did he have a good night?" " Yeah, he's asleep." " How did it go with sport-boy?" " Still going." "All right." "How are you?" "Treat her right." "She's great." "I know this might be a bit awkward, but I want you to use this." "No, look." "God..." "This is Miles Davis and John Coltrane." "Stockholm 1963." "Two masters of freedom, playing before their art was corrupted by cocktail-lounge performers who destroyed the legacy of the only American art form:" "Jazz." "I've put some Mingus on there too." " No barriers, no boundaries." " Chad, I got it." "Come here." "You know this is gonna change everything." "Promise?" "What is this music?" "I love getting up in the morning!" "I clap and say:" ""This will be a great day!"" "Great!" "Did you really need to do this?" "I'm getting him up, so don't worry." "What?" "I'm just waiting for coffee." "I don't care." " Just tell me one thing." " No." " Why...?" " I'm worried you'll believe in a guy who may not have an emotional marble in his head." " Please, if I start talking..." " You "please."" "What am I for taking the opportunity?" " This guy's on the bottom rung." " Maybe I am taking advantage." "Does that make me a bad person?" "Huh?" "I found someone popular and charming and not so nice to me, and he died." "Why should I let this guy go when everything in my body says that this one is the one?" "Take it easy." "I just wanted a few fun details." "Why didn't you say so?" "Well, you might be interested in this one little detail." "I was just about to tell you that I love him." "I do!" "I love him, and I don't care what you think." "I love him for the man he wants to be and for the man that he almost is." "I love him, Laurel." "I love him." " I love him!" " Hi, Jerry." "Act natural." " Tell me he's not there." " He's not there." "Oh, God." " Easy, ladies, easy." " Coffee?" "No, thanks." "We bottom-feeders prefer cereal first." " Let's have Apple Jacks." " Apple Jacks it is." "Good morning, darling." "Morning." " What's going on?" " A lot, actually." "We've got a big fax today." "We need this commission." "Need this commission." "Milk?" "Cheers." "That was really great of you this morning." "Let's just root for a big offer so we can move out of this room into a real office." "Would you mind?" "Thanks a lot." "Shit." "1.7 for three years?" "Man, we owe more than that!" "This is the game." "I'll get back to them." "And say what? "Please remove your dick from my ass"?" "I'm sorry, I'm just a little pregnant right now." " I feel like crying." " Let's not take this emotionally." " We'll roll with the problem." " Why are you so calm?" "Roll with this problem?" "Don't take it emotionally?" "You haven't gotten emotional enough over him!" " Get me Bob Sugar on the phone." " Marcee..." " You wanna leave me?" " A lot of agents say a lot of shit." "What do you stand for?" "!" "How about integrity?" "There's so much greed in the world I don't know what to tell my son!" "This guy isn't yelling, "Show me the money!"" "Do you know he's broke and working for you for free?" "Broke!" "Broke, broke, broke." " I'm not as good at insults as she is." " That was pretty good." "No shit." "Let me show you something." " Here." "Rod, read this." " No, no, no, no." "I just think that..." "I think it's important." "I appreciate this, but..." "You should be proud." "They should read it." "Tell me what to do." "Tell me to eat lima beans, I'll eat lima beans." "You say this is the best, all we can get..." " All we can get?" " I'm talking with my agent." "This is what you're gonna do." "You're gonna reject that shitty contract." "Play out your existing shitty contract, and next year, you're a free agent." "Baby, this is us." "You and me." "We determine our worth." "You are a strong, proud surviving, splendid black man." "Marcee you are the shit." "On, baby." " If you get injured, you get zero." " Won't happen." "I'm strong in mind." " It's a risk." " You bet on me, like I bet on you." "You know?" "My man!" "You know, baby?" " You're so crazy." " I love you, baby." " Let me kiss that head." " Thank you." " I'm taking that job in San Diego." " Don't talk about that yet." " You can't afford me." " I'll find something fast for Tidwell." " I refuse to be a drain." " We'll stay afloat." "We'll stay afloat." "Don't leave." " Get on the camel." " You've been on my ass all day." " He's my client." " Get him on the camel." " I will." " We don't need a camel." " It's Camel Chevrolet." " You see that?" "That's how I feel." " He's feeling my pain!" " Get on the camel!" " I'm pulling him from this." " It's okay." "Just get rid of the camel." " This isn't what I had in mind." " You're pulling him?" "Right, let's bounce." "Pulling him?" "Then you shouldn't have begged me to hire him." "I know you needed that commission, but we won't get Reebok with no regional Camel ad." "Excuse me." " Can I ask you a personal question?" " Are we gonna be friends now?" "What do you know about single moms?" "I was raised by one." "Tell me." "Because after this, she'll have to take that job in San Diego." "First of all, single mothers don't date." "Watch yourself." "They've been to the circus." "You know what I mean?" "They've been to the puppet show and seen the strings." " You love her?" " How do I know?" "You know when you know." "I don't want her to go." "I've been hanging out at her place a lot." "That right there is bullshit!" "You gotta be fair to her." "Single mothers are a sacred thing." "You gotta have the talk." "She loves you." "If you don't love her, you have got to tell her." "The kid's amazing." "He..." "I feel you." "I feel you, dog." "But a real man wouldn't shoplift the pootie from a single mother." "I didn't shoplift the pootie." "All right." "I shoplifted the pootie." "You know, John Coltrane once said to Miles Davis..." "When you say goodbye to him, just be cool." "What's meant to be will be." "You'll see each other." "I'm losing the only person who listens to me." " Quit making me laugh." " You're doing the right thing." "Start your life." "Don't cushion the fall for him." "Check out Exhibit A on the front lawn." " I'm almost sympathetic to the guy." " Goodbye." "All right." "Goodbye." "Bye." "Listen, you're gonna like it in San Diego." "It's gonna be great there." "You'll make a lot of friends." " I'm gonna see you this weekend." " Go ahead and go." "Go ahead and go." " Sure you're okay to drive this?" " This rig?" "No problem." " I'll see you this weekend." " Get in the car." "Get in the car." "I'll see you in a couple of days, and I love you." "I love you too." " What?" " Nothing." "I'll see you soon." "Look, if this weekend should turn into next month and next month turns into whenever, don't make a joke of your life." "Go back and read what you wrote." "You're better than the Bob Sugars." "Don't forget that." " Wait!" "Wait a second." " No, no!" "Oh, God." " We can save on medical, rent..." " Don't listen to him." "What if we stay together?" "What if we got married?" " If I said that, would you stay?" " Don't do that." "Don't say that unless..." "Well, say it if you want to." "Will you marry me?" "What are you thinking?" "We're getting married." "Do you, Jerry Maguire, take this woman to be your wife?" "Not yet." "And do you, Dorothy Boyd, take this man to be your husband?" "Almost." "I now pronounce you husband and wife." " Okay, sweetie." " Oh, yeah." "I should go." "Come on, brother." "Talk to me, brother." "We did it." "We sure did." "You fuck this up, I'll kill you." "I'm glad we had this talk." "Oh, look at them." "She is so beautiful." "I do not believe they have this on tape." "Hey, that's my bro." "See, now I'm gonna release this to ESPN." " You think I'm joking." " No, it's okay." "I know where you live." "You didn't have the talk, did you?" "No." "Well, this definitely was another way to go." "Hey, Dorothy, come here." "Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. and Mrs. Maguire." "We're gonna have a great season!" "Scotty, Tidwell did four for 36." " Jerry." " Dennis." " He's having a good game." "So far." " He is." "You're gonna miss him next year." "Loser." "I've got a great team behind me and I'm loving it." "That's my mo'fo!" "Come here." "Why don't you be the first man in your family not to use that word?" "And we'll let you live." "Now go kiss Daddy, quick." "Come on, now!" "Come on, Rod!" "I saw you limping after the first quarter." "Yeah, I..." "I sprained my ankle on the ice out there." "It was cold." "All right." "Thanks." "That went well." "Anybody else worth talking to?" "No." "Let's get out of here." " How's your head?" " Bubblicious." " How are you?" " Hey, Rod." " How you doing, man?" " Hanging in there." "That quarterback sucks." "He's gonna get me killed." "He's throwing high and across the middle." "My brain's blown because you weren't asshole enough to get me my 10 million three months ago." "Take care of yourself on that field." "You're my entire client roster." "Don't I know this." "Now go home to your wife." " What's that mean?" " What are you doing here?" " You could've told me on the phone." " How about personal attention?" " You don't want to go home." " What are you saying?" "I'm just trying to talk to you." "How's your marriage?" "The husband and wife thing, how is that?" " Not everyone has what you have." " Why did you get married?" " I'm just asking as a friend." " You want an answer?" "Loyalty-." "She was loyal." "I mean, you know, everything grew from there." "It just grew from there." " That's an answer." " That's the answer." "It's not sexy." "Shit!" "But that's an answer." ""Tell him what he's won, Bob." "A beautiful marriage!"" "Shit!" "Well, I'm happy to entertain you, as always, Rod." "I have a question for you." " Are we really friends?" " Why not?" "Friends can tell each other anything if we have our friends hats on, right?" " I think so." " All right." "Here's why you don't have your $10 million." "You're a paycheck player." "You play with your head, not your heart." "In your personal life?" "Heart." "On the field, it's about what you didn't get." "Who's to blame, who underthrew who has the contract you don't, who's not giving you love!" "That is not what inspires people!" "That is not what inspires people!" "Just shut up!" "Play the game from your heart." "Then I'll show you the kwan." "And that's the truth!" "Can you handle it?" "It's just a question from a friend." "You know?" "When they call you shrimp, I'm the one who defends you!" " I don't wanna be friends no more." " Fine." "Quit using that word "kwan." That's my word!" " I'll see you in L.A." " No heart?" "!" "I'm all heart, motherfucker!" " How many concussions has he had?" " I can't get no respect." "I'm making miracles happen." "I went to see this so-called black film the other day." "No more salt." "Your biggest game is coming up." "I don't want you dehydrated for Monday Night Football." "Twenty minutes of coming attractions." "All black films, all violent." " Brothers shooting brothers." " I hate you seeing movies alone." " Baby." " My Pisces queen." "I hate seeing movies without you." "I won't do it anymore, okay?" "15355;" " Now?" " Baby now!" " Ray, it's time to go." " You got them?" "Do you take Visa?" "Take it!" "What were you thinking tonight watching them go through the entire human emotional experience?" ""I hope he doesn't get injured."" "I felt responsible." "Sometimes I can't tell at all what's going on in your head." "And I don't know your noises yet." " Well, when you wonder, ask me." " Okay, I will." "I thought I just did." " Why do you love me?" " Why do you love me?" "Can I come and watch TV?" " In just a minute." " For a few minutes." "Hang in there." "He's not going anywhere." "I know." " Can we talk about something else?" " I don't think so." "I'm incapable of small talk." "But that's why you love me, right?" "I'm about personal attention." "This is my life." "I'm available to you 24 hours a day." "I'll be in Phoenix tomorrow for Monday Night Football." "I can be in Indiana by 11:30 Tuesday morning." "Just give me 20 minutes." "I'm not asking for an answer now." "I'll call you tomorrow." "Just enjoy your day." "Tell Doug hi." "All right, thank you." "Same to you, Marilee." "Indiana, Tuesday." "I'll be there." "It's my fault." "What?" "It's not fair to you, this whole thing." "Come here." "Tell me." "Let me help." "I took advantage of you." "Worst of all, I'm not alone." "I did this With a kid." "I was just on some wild ride where I thought that I was in love enough for both of us." "I pretended your proposal was real when it might have been a hypothetical." "I did this." "At least I can do something about it now." "I'm not a guy who runs." "I stick." "Well, I don't need you to stick." "What do you want?" "My soul or something?" " Why not?" "I deserve that." " What if I'm not built that way?" " I think we made a mistake." " What if it's true?" ""Great at friendship, bad at intimacy."" "It's the theme of my bachelor film, for God's sake." "I know, I watched it." "I sort of know it by heart." " I don't like to give up." " Please." "My need to make the best of things, and your need to be responsible..." "If we don't say something about it now, we could lose 10 years being polite." "Let's just call this next road trip what it really is:" "A nice long break." "What about Ray?" "Well, you'll be friends." "Friends?" " Of course you'll be friends." " I'll take him to the zoo." "So this break is a breakup?" "That's..." "Come on, Jerry." "You know this isn't easy for me." "On the surface, everything looks fine." "I've got this great guy." "And he loves my kid." "And he sure does like me a lot." "And I can't live like that." "It's not how I'm built." "If this is empty, this doesn't matter." "It was just a mission statement." "Put your arms up, please." "Hey, buddy." "I wondered where you were." "How's it going?" "Get out of here." "Go." " Where's your agent?" " I don't know." "You belong with the big boys." "You belong with the big money." " You're fucking Rod Tidwell!" " Get away from my guy." " I was just telling..." " Just go." "Flee." "This is a nice moment for you." "I'm gonna let you have it." "Give me a call, Rod." "Say hi to Marcee." " Thanks for coming." " I missed you." "What can I say?" "You're all I've got." "Frank Gifford with Al Michaels and Dan Dierdorf at the Sun Devil Stadium." "The story is the Cardinals are still alive for a playoff spot." "The reason for that is the outstanding play of Rod Tidwell." "We'll talk about that too." "The Dallas Cowboys know they're in the playoffs." "Going for a consecutive Super Bowl." "If Arizona wins tonight and next week they'll make the playoffs for the first time in 21 years." "Better not mess up for Monday Night Football." "What did I say?" "He's always nervous for televised games." "The Cowboys continue their mission on Monday Night Football." " Hey, Shannon." " Hi, good game." " Great column this morning." " Thanks." "Fuck you, punk!" "It's a real bruiser out there." "The Cardinals refuse to go quietly into the desert night as the interminable season winds down." "Just trying to be poetic." "Wax on, AI." "Wax on." "A tough hit on Tidwell." "Nothing poetic about that." " I'd have made that a touchdown." " That's his sixth catch tonight." "Split to the right." "Swenson looks." "A first down at the 19-yard line." "Another savage hit across the middle on Rod Tidwell." "They're working Tidwell, aren't they?" " What does Daddy always say?" " It looks worse than it really is." "He's gonna kill himself." " Be quiet." " What did I say?" "Two minutes to play." "Dallas leading by three." "Second down and one now at the Dallas 11-yard line." "Swenson backs to pass." "A blitz!" "Down he goes!" "Sacked for a six-yard loss." "Good move coming with a blitz after Swenson." "He had too many men in that pattern." "They couldn't pick up the blitz." "90 razor, X-out on one, ready?" "Here we go!" "He had a chance to get rid of it." "They've now gone to third and seven." "In the waning moments of this game, Dallas 17, Arizona 14." "Tidwell in motion." "Moving back to his left now." "Play fake." "Swenson, protected well, lofts one into the end zone." "Tidwell!" "Touchdown, Cardinals!" " Did you see him go up on that ball?" " He held onto it." "He's still down." "Tidwell, upside down, hits the ground hard." " He maintains control of the football." " He's hurt too." "He's not getting up." " Concerned look on the players' faces." " Get up, baby." "The trainer out." "It's Tidwell's ninth catch." " Oh, my God." " He gives Arizona the lead." " Can you hear me?" " Blink!" "Come on, blink!" "Commercial!" "Show me what's wrong with my husband." " I said he was too small for the NFL." " Shut up." " It's the truth." "I'm keeping it real!" " Tee Pee, shut up!" "Can't you be loyal to your brother?" "Get the hell out of my house!" "Hello?" "Hold on." "It's Jerry Maguire." "Punk!" "Jerry?" "Oh, my God, I am freaking out." "Marcee, he's unconscious." "Just stay calm." "Keep the lines open, I will call you back." "There are good doctors." "Stay calm." "You have to tell me something." "I am freaking here." "We gotta stay calm." "Your family needs you to stay calm." "I know, but my whole life is this family and it does not work without him!" "All eyes at Sun Devil Stadium are focused on Rod Tidwell." "I am so sorry about everything I said about your job." "Just do whatever you can to get Rod to me, please." "Just do whatever you can." "Please, Jerry." "At a time like this, you just hope his family is not watching this." "It could be his neck." "It could be his back." "Blink, baby!" "Come on, wake up!" "We love you, Rod!" "Can you hear me?" "Can you hear me?" "Do you know where you are?" "The trainer's still trying to revive him." "We'd love to see some movement." " Rod?" " Let's get him off the field." " No." " Get the gurney." "Get him off the field." "Wait, wait." "Just let me enjoy this for a minute." "We're looking for some movement." "Is that his head coming up?" "He's trying to get UP" "He is getting up." "Look at him!" "Oh, Mommy, he's okay." "The whole stadium is standing." "He's up on his feet and the crowd loves it." "Here's a guy who's normally very truculent with the media, aloof..." " We're happy for you." " He'll get a flag on this." "Who cares!" " Congratulations." " Thank you." "Helluva game." " Congratulations." " Thanks." "You are gonna pay." "I know." "I know." "Where's Jerry?" "You did it." "You did." "Why don't we have that kind of relationship?" "Is that your porty or mine?" "Dorothy?" "Marcee." "No, he's right here." "It's Marcee." "She couldn't get through on your phone." "We did it." "I love you." "I love you so much!" "I love you!" "I love you, Tyson." "I love you, baby." "How's the baby?" "How's Katie?" "Oh, I love you so much." "You know ain't nothing gonna happen to me." "The problem is, like you were saying earlier, the biorhythms." "I was saying the neural pathways are set." "That's why it's hard for people to change." "I'm sorry, these stupid holidays make me feel more divorced." "You know?" "With the songs, the constant chocolate-eating..." "I have a confession to make." "I've listened to you all tell a thousand sob stories." "I've been very judgmental." "Maybe you're all correct." "Men are the enemy." "No, they're not the enemy." "But I still love the enemy." "Hello." "I'm looking for my wife." "Wait." "If this is where it has to happen, then it's where it happens." "I'm not letting you get rid of me." "How about that?" "This used to be my specialty." "I was good in a living room." "I'd do it alone." "And now, I just..." "I don't know." "But tonight our little project, our company had a very big night." "A very, very big night." "But it wasn't complete." "It wasn't nearly close to being in the same vicinity as complete because I couldn't share it with you." "I couldn't hear your voice or laugh about it with you." "I missed my..." "I missed my wife." "We live in a cynical world." "A cynical world." "And we work in a business of tough competitors." "I love you." "You..." " And I just..." " Shut up." "Just shut up." "You had me at "hello."" "You had me at "hello."" "This is my best discussion group." "Your father leaves home on Christmas Eve, abandoning your family." "Your mother had to sweep up at the prison to pay your tuition." "Your brother lost a leg in a fishing accident." "You've had a list of horrific things happen in your life." " I'm not gonna cry, Roy." " I've got some good news." "I've just been handed a signed memo." "It's a contract." "Arizona Cardinals." "Four years." "$11.2 million and you'll play in your home state, where it started." "What do you think of that?" "I love everybody." "I love my wife!" "Marcee!" "I love my kids!" "Tyson and my new baby, Katie." "My older brother, who got one leg, and my younger brother, Tee Pee." "You're militant, but I ain't mad at you." "I love you." "I love my teammates." "I'm omitting someone." " We only have a half-hour show." " I send love to my offensive line." "Nice to see you." "Congratulations." "Good for you." "You remember Troy from the Super Bowl?" "We met in '93." " That's right." "I enjoyed your memo." " Thank you." " A little slow but you come around." " We're out of time." "I'm forgetting somebody." "Jerry Maguire my agent." "You are my ambassador of kwan, man." "Thank you." "Congratulations." "We'll be right back." " How did you like the zoo, buddy?" " It was great!" "One, two, three." "Hey, kid, throw the ball." "Good throw, man." "Did you see?" "Oh, no." "Let's go." "What?" "I'm not saying we'll throw him into the major leagues tomorrow but he's got natural talent." "I know the right people that'll help develop his talent." "Hey, I don't have all the answers." "In life, to be honest, I've failed as much as I've succeeded." "But I love my wife, I love my life and I wish you my kind of success."