" There's no more bread." " I put it in the new spot." "What's wrong with the old spot?" "I think the Health Department made that clear." " You fold the napkins?" " Yes, Dad." " You fill the sugar bowls?" " Yes." "Then I thawed the meat." "Then I made the soup." "Then I built a raft, sailed to Crete and picked some figs." "But if I've forgotten something, please in your infinite wisdom, let me know." "Well, you might unlock the front door." "I thought it was a little slow." "Dad, what's a forest ranger?" "Something that you have to go far away to do, so forget about it." "You know, I used play soccer with the boys on my block." " I was the goalie." " If this is the start of a big story..." "...wait till halftime." " The secret is keep your eye on the ball." "You turn your head, whoosh, in the net." "Then all the boys hate you and make fun of your nose." "What's that?" "Do I need help?" "No." " No sarcasm till halftime." " You follow women's soccer?" "Greek women, they're tougher than most men." " Pass it to 22!" " What's with 22?" "She rips her jersey off when she scores." "Come on, you've never seen a woman in a sports bra" " Holy mangoes!" " How does that poor woman run?" " She'll be kicking those in a few years." " Morning, everybody." " Hi, honey." " I missed you." " I missed you too." "People are eating." "If this bothers him, good thing he doesn't know about the counter." " We never mess around on the counter." " I know." "Could we?" "Back door." "On, I'll get it." " So, what are we watching?" " Women's soccer." "Greece versus Italy." "Classic example, good vs. evil." "Angelo's here." "Thank you, thank you." "I thank you." "My fish thank you." " Hey, Ma." " Hello, handsome son." "Hey, Nia." "You got a little gravy right" "Oops, that's just your mustache." " Always funny." " I gotta open up with a joke." " Well, that explains your hair." " Hey." "You wish you had this hair." "You're right." "It would make me more feminine." " All right, how much for that snapper?" " For family, 12.50." " What, am I adopted?" "I'll give you 10." " Eleven." "And I want a doughnut." "10.50 and I won't make fun of your van, or as you like to call it..." "...the rolling motel." " Done." "Thanks, Ma." "Bye." "All right, eat lots of fruit." " Oh, my God." " Maria, what's the matter?" "I just got off the phone." "You know how I always said Betty Fratopolis has a big heart?" "I was right." "Turns out, it was enlarged." "She just keeled over in Cosmo's Bakery sampling a fudge bar." " Is she all right?" " I don't know." "She's at St. Anthony's." "Excellent hospital." "Taki loves their Jell-O." " I've got to go see her." " Let me take you." " I want to see her too." " I thought you didn't like Betty." "I don't, but I want to go to heaven." " Mrs. Fratopolis looked so healthy." " Yeah, not as healthy as 22." "Look at the-- Oh, inappropriate." "Okay." " Any luck?" " No remote, but I found this comb." " That's my comb." " Well, how do you know?" "Because give it to me, that's how." "Well, Betty looks better than she looked this morning, thank goodness." "Although, those bullies there, they made her take off her wig." "And her glasses and her teeth." "She looked like The Scarecrow when the flying monkeys were done with it." "This thing with Betty, it's got me thinking." "Oh, no." "You're not going to make us give up butter again." "We need to make a will." "I don't need no will." "I'm strong like an ox." "Nico, punch me in the stomach." " Hard?" " No!" "Making a will is bad luck." "Right, Nia?" " Okay, sure." "I gotta go." "See you." " Nia, whose side are you on?" "Why don't I just wait to see who wins." "I'm gonna make a sandwich." "Don't follow me." "And I'm using butter." " Nia, help me." " Okay." " Nick, go convince Dad to make a will." " Really?" "I guess he should make one." "I mean, he is going to die one day and..." "Oh, boy." " Nia, please." " Oh, all right." "Mom's right." "You want the government to decide who gets what you own?" " The Greeks invented government." " And then the Romans kicked their ass." "Look, Gus, we started with nothing, and now we have so much." " We have the house, the business." " You have the aboveground pool." " The aboveground pool." " You can see it flying from O'Hare." "Which is why you should wear a swimsuit." "Gus, don't you care what happens to your empire?" "My empire?" "Good one." " Hi, everyone." " Hi." " Love your eye shadow!" " Thanks." "Free in the mail." "Shut up." "Okay, okay, brace yourselves." "I have scoop." "Betty Fratopolis, all these years, a wig." " Really?" "!" " Really?" "!" "Nikki, if you don't mind, we're talking about something private." " Then I suggest we all whisper." " Nikki!" "Oh, fine." "Hold on." "Ow!" "All right." "About this will business..." "...maybe I think about it." " Thank you, Gus." "Thank you, Maria." ""And thank you, Nia." Oh, it was nothing." ""No, you were very good."" " Okay." "Dad about this will, I..." "Oh, boy." "Maybe I should try swinging left-handed." " I eat soup that way." " You've got to focus." "And try teeing off without yelling, "Where it goes, nobody knows."" " Okay, you're being bossy." " I thought you liked bossy." "Oh, I do." "Keep going." "Is it so hard to say, "We're home"?" " Nikki, you're in our house!" " Your mom and dad made a will." "Interesting." "Not so much an emergency as a "by the way"..." "...at the end of a phone call." " I agree, but I'm not done." "I happen to be passing by their bedroom door and I heard them say that you are gonna inherit the restaurant." " Me?" " Are you shocked?" " I am." " Then my work here is done." "They're leaving me the restaurant." "What do you think about that?" " What do you think about that?" " I don't know." "I need to mull." "Mulling, mulling." " Don't like it." " Didn't think you would." " Why?" "It's a sweet gesture." " Very sweet." " And it's not a bad place." " I eat there all the time." "I don't wanna work there my whole life." "I mean, I like working there now, mostly." "Except for always smelling like bacon." "But I don't know if I wanna be working there when I'm 50!" " I like bacon." " Right." "Is your parents who love you and have big news." " Just tell them." "They'll deal with it." " How about this?" "You're home, I'm moving to California." "Fresh fruit, mild winters." "It's time." "Nia." "Big family news." "You may stay." "We made a will." "We are leaving Dancing Zorba's to you." " No, you're not." " Yes, we are." " No, you're not." " Yes, we are." "I can't keep this up." " No, you're not!" " Yes, we are!" "Every time I look at you, I think:" ""There she is, the future me."" "So, Nia, now that you know all this will be yours, does it look different?" "Smaller, like a coffin." "Just think, I left this whole restaurant to you." " Yeah, yeah." " A woman." " I get it." " Normally, it would go to a man." "I know." "You can't be more modern than me." "I should be on the cover of the Saturday Evening Post." "Here he is, the future Mrs. Me." "I'm already taken, you naughty boy." "I just don't get this guy." "I'm guessing you haven't talked to them." " And when are you going to?" " Christmas." "After I open my presents." " We are not happy." " Why?" "How's Mrs. Fratopolis doing?" "First of all, the hospital, no parking." "We might as well have taken the train." "Why didn't you take the train?" "Do you want to tell this story?" "Mom got up early to bake Betty her special "Teardrops of Athens" cookies." " Which Betty always raves about." " So we took her the cookies." " We had a nice visit." " It was good." "It was real." "We got up and left, but I realised I'd forgotten my keys." " So we went back." " And the cookies..." " In the trash." " The trash." " The trash?" " The trash." "What kind of woman would reject a gift from the heart?" "Someone who wants to make her own cookies." "She doesn't want cookies forced on her!" "She has her own plans!" "Or something like that." "Okay, I watch Dr. Phil." "And what you just said, it's about something else." "Chew on that." "I have a date." "Look, Nia, the longer you wait to tell them, the harder it's gonna be." "Thank you, Aesop." "Bacon." "You don't want to inherit the restaurant." " How did you know?" " Nia, we're both modern women." "You don't dress like it, but I know." "All my cool stuff is dirty." "You want to be free to do what your heart tells you to do to help the poor, to build houses for the sick, or like me to design tasteful "theme parties" at "reasonable prices."" "It's like you're peering into my soul." " You want my opinion?" " Yes!" " Come up with a plan." " Like?" "That's all I got." "Wait a minute." "Why don't we ask them to leave the restaurant to Nick." "We don't know if Nick wants the restaurant." "And if we ask him, he'll know they picked you." "How do we ask Nick without asking Nick?" "Rub your chin." "Honestly, it helps." "Nick?" "We have a question for you." " Let's say you're an alligator." " I like it." " And you work for the head alligator." " Why can't I be the head alligator?" "Would you like to be the head alligator?" "Who wouldn't?" "Let's say the head alligator was leaving his alligator farm to somebody else, another alligator." "Would you step up and fight for it?" "Mom and Dad are leaving you the restaurant!" "You figured that out from the alligator thing?" "No, Nikki told me." " Now I'm mad all over again!" " Well, would you like the restaurant?" "More than that alligator farm." "Then show Mom and Dad." "Spend more time learning the business and less time pretending the hot-dog buns are puppets." "Hey, I am not just screwing around here." "I have a plan." "Which is?" "I spend a few more years slacking off, making time with the ladies then I get serious and marry a Greek virgin." "Nick, that's not a plan." "It's the plot of a porn movie." "Nia, here is Angelo with more of his stinky fish." "Don't make too good a deal." "I don't like to see the boy cry." "If I'm crying, it's because I tasted your stinky lamb." "Wait, that's not funny." " Hi, Ma." " Hello, handsome son." " Lift with your legs." " Yes, Ma." "All right, Nia, I'm in a hurry." "So today, let's just skip the insults." "Let's do them fast." "Your hair." " Your shoes." " Your girlfriend." " Hey, watch it." " Give me a price." "Today, handsome boy, I think you should do business with Nick." " Nick?" " Nick?" "Nick?" "Because you want to be head alligator." "Oh, yeah." "Yeah." "I can handle that." " What happens here?" " He gives you a price." " You pretend to be insulted." " Right." "So, Angelo how much for the, you know, fish?" " For you, 12.50." "12.50?" " You calling me a moron?" " All right, 11 bucks." "Final offer." "How about I kick your ass and just take the fish?" " Yeah, you heard me." " What if I break your face?" " Here I am!" " Here I come!" " What is wrong with you?" " Nia said to act insulted." "Then I realised, I am insulted." "Nico, you should be back in the kitchen." "Let Nia handle this." "Why?" "Because she's gonna get your restaurant?" "Well, fine!" "Give her everything!" "But not the aboveground pool." "That is mine." " How's the homework coming?" " All finished." "Great." "I'll take this to Nick." "You get started on yours." " Hey, have you seen Nick?" " He hasn't come home yet and I'm getting worried." "What if he's hungry?" "Yeah, Chicago's not a big food town." "I knew he would be upset." "I mean, I would be upset." "Now I am upset!" "All right, listen, as much as I love the idea of inheriting the restaurant" "Seriously, I love it." "I think it might be easier if maybe you just gave it to Nick." "Nick?" "He would turn it into a go-go club." " What's a go-go club?" " It's a place for dancing." "Dancing Zorba's will not become a place for dancing." "It is so sweet of you to offer." "And we know how much the restaurant means to you." " I don't think you do." " I bet not a day goes by that you don't think of spending the rest of your life there." "And yet, I still say give it to Nick." "I'm just unselfish." "I can't help it." "That's true." "I'm proud of you." " So you'll give it to Nick?" " Are you crazy?" "No." "You the responsible one." "No!" "I'm not responsible at all." "Am I, Thomas?" "Sometimes when I come home in the afternoon she's drunk." "Yeah, and every day for breakfast I just eat candy." "You're trying to make yourself look bad so I give the restaurant to Nick." "Now I'm really proud of you." ".Yay- .Okay" "Listen, this is what I need to tell you the real reason why you should leave it to Nick." "Oh, yeah, this is the real reason." "Let's all listen." "My reason is I plan to impregnate Nia so many times that it will be impossible for her to run the restaurant." "That is the most sensible thing I've ever heard you say." "Everyone, heads up." "Nick found out he is not getting the restaurant, and he is M-A-D." "Because you told him with your big Y-A-P." " Nico!" " Nick!" "Oh, a family meeting." " Something else I'm left out of." " Okay, you're whining, so shut up." " You shut up." " You." " Don't have to, this is my house." " Oh, really?" "Did you pay for it?" "This is who you want me to leave the restaurant to?" "Yes, Nick is management material." "He sees things through." "Like just now." "Nikki says, "Shut up."" "Nick comes right back with, "You shut up."" "It's like he never quits." "He is so there." "He is so can-do." "He's ready-to-wear." "He's all the rage." "What the hell are you talking about?" "Angelo has something to say." "I don't know why I have to apologise." "Nick started it." " No, you started it." " I did not." "Hey, hey, hey!" "Hey!" " I'm sorry, Nick." " That's okay." "I'm sorry I messed up that whole "bargaining for the fish" thing." "That was nice." "Now does everybody feel better?" " No." " No." "I hate selling fish." "I wanna become a singer." "All right, that's it." "Call the lawyer, have him tear up the will." "You can all fight over everything after we're stone-cold dead." "Oh, boy." "So today, with my parents when you saved me with that big lie..." "Sexy." " Reading time is over." " Now you're being bossy." " Why don't you shut up and kiss me." " Why don't you shut up and kiss me." " Yeah." " Yeah." "It's your parents who love you." " Let's do it on the restaurant counter." " Nice." "They're not here." "Let's check the restaurant." "Subtitles by SDI Media Group"