"Jack Noah." "Are you for Richard, too, or Oswell?" "Richard." "For?" "The king." "Jack!" "Jack?" "Jack?" "Toby." "Where the hell have you been, man?" "I saw Phyllis last week." "She said you disappeared." "She thought you were the victim of foul play." "I was." "I was." "You got a lozenge or something?" "I expected to see you at the Neil Simon casting call." "Perfect part for you..." "the neurotic nephew who never leaves his room." "Who got the part?" "Mandy Patinkin." "Fuck 'em." "Here's a lozenge." "Swiss." "You know Desmond, don't ya?" "Yeah." "Desmond." "I saw you in Endings Playhouse last year." "You were incredible, man." "Thank you!" "No, I'm serious." "You were unbelievable." "I saw you in Evita and on TV and stuff." "I like your work, Jack Noah." "We oughta hire each other." "Didn't you go out of the country to do a movie?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "The Shepard play, how did it go?" "Shit." "Fake art." "Mm-hmm." "How long were you gone?" "A year." "A year." "What a dick!" "Weird job." "Weird job." "So what else is new?" "I was a Nubian space slave last week with an aluminum foil jock strap." "Oh!" "Hey, hey." "Remember when I played a sperm, and I begged for that part." "It was your best work." "I had the look of a sperm." "I thought like a sperm." "You still look like a sperm and think like a sperm." "They wouldn't hire me..." "an old black sperm." "What was the part?" "Well... it's really hard to talk about." "Porno?" "No!" "It's...you're not gonna believe it." "That's all." "Come on." "I am trained to believe and understand." "Well, if you ever see the moon over Parador... if you ever see it floating over the Gulf of Saros or smell the gardenias in the air... see the sunlight on the red tiles of the rooftops... and you happen to be with a warm woman... you'll never forget it." "♪ Yo no se que hacer contigo... ♪" "Never." "♪ Ni te tengo ni te olvido ♪" "♪ Y quiero seguir haci ♪" "♪ Juguete de tus caprichos ♪" "♪ ¿Para que quererte tanto?" "♪" "♪ ¿Para que tanto deseo?" "♪" "♪ ¿Para qe este loco amor?" "♪" "Gotta go now, baby." "No." "I won't leave you." "It's our only hope." "Okay, okay." "Okay, I'll leave." "But I'll wait." "Ah!" "Get out of here!" "♪ Y es que ya me acostumbré ♪" "♪ A tu forma de entregarte ♪" "♪ Al calor que hay en to piel ♪" "♪ Y al placer de acariciarte ♪" "Okay, folks!" "That's a cut." "Wrap!" "Don't forget the wrap party at the Hotel Parador." "Blood on the Plaza is now a wrap." "One quick... it was mechanically okay, but inside it was not very good." "Before the light goes." "No more light." "The light is gone." "Jack, great." "See you later." "Your stunt was great, Clint." "Yeah, it was pretty smooth." "Looks like your dictator loved it." "He's very good!" "I could've done it a lot better, you know?" "Relax." "You were great." "Could I do it one more time?" "One quick one." "It's not..." "There's light." "I can see you!" "So sweet." "Very realistic." "Thank you, Mr. President." "Excellent directing." "Thank you, Mr. President." "Wonderful actor." "Thank you very much." "I appreciate it, sir." "Wonderful." "You are a wonderful actress." "Thank you, Mr. President." "Oh, thank you." "Thank you very much." "Wonderful." "You should see him do you." "Do me?" "He does the greatest impersonation of you." "No, no." "I really don't..." "I'm not very good." "Please, I would really not..." "Let me be the judge." "Please." "May I speak to you for a moment, please." "I'm gonna kill you!" "I had to do something." "He was gonna pinch my ass." "You've slept with every guy on this crew, why not the dictator of the country?" "He's a foreigner." "Oh!" "Could I borrow your cap, sir?" "Certainly." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Thank you." "I want you to know, by the way, that I'm doing this with the greatest respect." "I've got a great admiration for you." "I've seen you a lot on television." "I'm gonna kill you slowly." "I'm gonna break every bone in your body." "People of Parador," "I love you." "I love you as a man who loves a beautiful woman." "You are a wonderful country!" "I love your mountains and your valleys." "I want to swim in your rivers." "He is very funny." "He's very funny!" "He's a hell of an actor." "You're good!" "All right." "All right, Jack." "Thank you." "I'm going to vote blue." "Vote for who you want." "This is a free dictatorship." "Get five of these in "large."" "Hey, Jackie!" "Jackie!" "Hey, Ralph!" "What's the deal?" "When are you headed back?" "Hey, what's happening?" "Where are you off to?" "I'm scheduled for a flight out of here tomorrow." "Hey, listen, just cool it." "Stick around." "You don't wanna miss that Carnival." "It's a fun sucker." "You been down here a long time, Ralph?" "When I retired from the military," "I went over to Ocala, Florida, and bought a trailer." "Then it got kinda close, you know." "It got expensive." "Crowded." "So Midge and I, the little woman, we sold out everything..." "lock, stock and barrel and moved down here to Parador." "Bought a little bungalow up in the heights, some fruit trees." "Full-time maid." "It's kind of a secret paradise." "Well, I'd like to stay, but think it's best that I get back to New York and start hustling." "Do yourself a favor." "Take time out to smell the roses." "Okay?" "So you're retired, is that it?" "Hell, no!" "Are you kidding?" "I got a couple of businesses." "One, I'm into hammocks..." "a whole bunch of hammocks." "Here you go." "Thought I was gonna stiff ya." "Here take it all." "Salute." "Salute." "Okay." "Yeah, I'm in a couple of businesses." "Hammocks, as I told ya." "They can make the best damn hammocks in the world down here." "Let's shoot in here, get a couple of tall ones, okay?" "Hi, Captain, how are ya?" "Por favor, is it safe to eat the lettuce here?" "Yes, madame." "...import fungicides for the coffee boys." "And, uh, I import air conditioning parts." "Keeps me alert." "Keeps me on the go." "This is not a bad place." "It's good for broads, and the chow is out of sight." "See the chicken red?" "A lot of pros." "You can crack walnuts on her ass." "This clown is gay." "Forget him." "Looks like he's on army duty." "Just a cover-up." "Samuel, a couple of punas and a lot of ice." "Lots of ice, you understand?" "Yes, sir!" "Don't say yes, sir!" "I mean a lot of ice." "I mean it this time." "Okay." "I tell ya something." "You've gotta really kick ass around here." "I don't know what it is, but these people just don't catch on." "Midge, I want you to meet somebody." "Come on over here." "Honey?" "Midge?" "Remember Jack Noah, the actor?" "Remember that daytime soap opera that Julie used to watch," "Life's Path?" "Oh, it's Lance Ferrington!" "Oh, you bastard." "I don't know if I oughta shake that hand or not." "Keep your hands off him." "There's five women on that show." "You gotta do your nails." "Oh, shut up, Ralph." "Shall we sit down?" "Thank you." "You are a real fan." "You're much handsomer in person." "Oh, thank you." "She drinks in the morning." "Your puna, gentlemen." "I love the fact that they all speak English." "Thanks to St. Rezig..." "he wasn't a real saint." "This place actually was discovered, founded as it were, by the Spaniards." "Slaves, blacks from the Ivory Coast, and Indians." "There was an English pirate came in here and really took over." "In order to keep the peace, he took on three wives." "He married a senorita, a black, and an Indian." "So you see a lot of people around here named "Simms."" "Including, I might add, His Excellency, the dictator." "Uh-huh." "Take a look here." "Right up here." "Take a look at that." "You know who that is?" "That's Madonna Mendez." "That's the dictator's girlfriend." "Is that not a piece of ass?" "Look at the hooters, will ya?" "There just as hard as little rocks." "You know, I met the dictator." "He visited the set." "He's got a lot of charisma." "That dude is heavy." "Good-lookin'." "Steve Stunning." "People love him." "And I'll tell ya something, as long as Alfonse Simms is alive, those goddamn guerrillas don't stand a chance." "I think I better go back." "These things pack quite a wallop, don't they?" "Now I see what you're doin'." "Remember I'm just a phone call away." "Thanks a lot." "I'm just a horny old broad." "It's really nice to meet you." "See ya." "You lush!" "You wanted to hump him, didn't ya?" "Blow it out your ear, Ralph." "All those punas are paralyzing your mind." "What time leaves the bus that came to Parador?" "We have a bus leaving tomorrow at 9:00... so I'm thinkin' of goin' over to the Stern Agency." "It's too big." "You're gonna get lost there." "Peter Mischkin is there." "Mischkin is out." "Mischkin is out?" "!" "I'll see you in the city, doll." "Bye, Clint." "See ya, Jenny." "Mischkin is out?" "Hey." "Hi." "We had some fun, huh?" "Yeah." "We really did, Clint." "How many times have you killed me?" "This is the fourth time." "You die good, Jack." "When are you leavin'?" "I'm scheduled to go out tomorrow, but I think I'm gonna stay for Carnival." "What 'bout you?" "I can't." "I got a Burt Reynolds shoot in New Mexico." "Starts Tuesday." "Anything in it for me?" "Nah, you know Burt." "It's all stunts and broads." "What are you talking about?" "I just fell off a building!" "Come on, Jack!" "He saw me in Evita." "He thought I was great!" "I'll say hi to Burt for ya." "I'm out of work three minutes, and I'm already going crazy!" "I need a psychiatrist." "Stick around." "It's a great place." "I know." "I'll relax." "If you get to the coast, call me." "I'm in the book." "L.A. Is better than New York for work, right?" "Yeah, there's lots of TV." "TV's better than it was, right?" "You were fabulous, Jack." "Thank you, thank you." "Did you hear that Peter Mischkin left the Stern Agency?" "Who?" "Peter Mis..." "Forget it." "Nothing." "Did you hear that Peter Mischkin left the Stern Agency?" "Anybody hear?" "♪" "♪ So don't let them begin ♪" "♪ The beguine ♪" "♪ Let the love that was once a fire remain ♪" "♪ An ember...♪" "♪ Let it sleep like the dead desire ♪" "♪ I only remember ♪" "♪ When they begin ♪" "♪ The beguine ♪" "♪ Oh, yes make them begin the beguine ♪" "♪ Make them play ♪" "♪ Till the stars that were there before ♪" "♪ Return above you ♪" "♪ Till you tell me once more ♪" "♪ Oh, my darling, I love you ♪" "♪ Then we'll suddenly know ♪" "♪ What heaven we're in ♪" "♪ When they begin ♪" "♪ The beguine ♪" "♪ When they begin...♪" "♪ The beguine...♪" "Yeah!" "I love you." "I love you, Sammy!" "I love you!" "Thank you!" "Hey, Sammy!" "Jack Noah from the Big Apple!" "Hey, Jack, what are you doin'?" "Look who's here!" "Decided to stay, huh?" "I thought you would!" "Isn't this festive?" "Let's go over to the red zone, where the real party is!" "I don't care if the son of a bitch is a dictator!" "I hate a road hog!" "You better watch your language, Ralph!" "Shut up!" "Heh heh heh, they really love me." "Without question." "I think I need a steak, huh?" "A nice, big juicy steak." "Calabuna Beach Club." "And after that," "I think I need my Madonna." "I'll send a car." "You know, Roberto, I've been thinking... perhaps I ought to marry her." "It would be the greatest Carnival of all." "That's impossible." "That's what makes it all the more desirable." "We've known each other a long time, you and I." "A very long time." "I must tell you with all respect that this girl... well..." "we have to be careful." "The people love her because she is one of them." "They see the romance." "That's right." "But to marry her, that's another matter." "The 14 families would never approve." "It's all your fault." "I met her in your damn club." "You've got to admit she's a helluva dancer!" "She's almost a prostitute!" "That's what she is!" "Get your mind on other things!" "You're meeting with the Archbishop next week." "And the new Russian ambassador is presenting his credentials." "And your speech on St. Reginald's day." "It has to be strong!" "Confident!" "Your Excellency." "Alfonse!" "Drunken bastard!" "I wanna make love with you!" "Come here!" "Carlo, take the feet." "He's so heavy!" "He can't drink anymore." "His liver is totally damaged." "Oh..." "Oh...oh!" "Excuse me." "Excuse me." "Oh, I'm sorry!" "Could you tell me where the Hotel Parador is?" "Straight on, man." "Straight on." "Thank you." "Got some silver, man?" "No, I don't got shit." "That would be your style, Americano." "Oh, boy." "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "No!" "No, no, no!" "No, please!" "I've been mugged already!" "No, no!" "You don't understand!" "No!" "Please, please!" "Please!" "I'm just an actor!" "My name is Jack Noah!" "My picture's in the directory!" "Please!" "I quit!" "I'm just an actor!" "Come!" "Hello!" "Come in, please!" "Sit down." "What's going on?" "Would you like something to eat?" "I would like outta here right now!" "Did you understand what I just said?" "Okay." "Why don't you pick up the phone and call the American embassy." "I happen to be a very well-known American actor." "Not that well-known." "What are you, a critic?" "But you are very talented." "Look, uh..." "I happen to be late for some appointments back in New York city." "I'm up for the lead in the revival of Anna Christie." "Oh, yes." "I read that play when I was at Harvard." "I didn't like it." "Besides, you're not right for it." "You went to Harvard?" "Mm-hmm." "Really?" "Boston College." "I like Boston." "Modern but old, you know?" "Y-you went to Harvard." "You gotta be smart enough to know you got the wrong guy." "I'm an actor." "My name is Jack Noah." "I got the right guy." "You do?" "Okay." "What's going on?" "Are you a good dancer?" "Absolutely." "Terrific." "First rate." "Started in the course." "Excellent." "I've got a part for you to play." "You've got a part for me to play?" "Who are your casting agents, the Gestapo?" "You!" "You are a funny guy!" "No." "This is a very serious part." "Mm-hmm." "Well, every..." "every part is serious." "It's...no matter how small the role... every part is...serious." "You know Wayne Newton?" "Yeah." "I think he's great." "Gee, I feel a little better." "Whew, boy!" "You know, I was..." "I was a little nervous." "I have to confess." "I didn't understand." "Comin' in here, I didn't know whether" "I was gettin' the cattle prod in the balls..." "Ah ah!" "Ah ha!" "Ah ha!" "Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "Ho ho ho!" "Ha ha ha!" "Come on." "Come on, come on." "Funny, funny." "It's just like that scene in the movies, you know." "They're torturing you for information that you don't have." "So...so what's your name?" "Roberto." "Roberto Strausmann." "Roberto Strausmann." "Okay." "So what's the part, Mr. Strausmann?" "Oh!" "I hope you're not a vegetarian." "Ha ha ha ha!" "Japanese beef..." "Omaha beef..." "Alfonse Simms." "That's...that's...that's the dictator." "Is...is he dead?" "Very dead." "What happened to him?" "Heart attack." "Too many damn punas." "So what's..." "what's going on here?" "Is this some kind of Paradorian funeral..." "Ha ha ha!" "No, no." "Don't tell me what you're thinkin'." "Are you an actor or not?" "This is a real guy!" "So was Richard III, Henry V..." "I saw Laurence Olivier play those men totally convincing." "This is a real man!" "You did a very good impersonation on the set." "That was just a bit." "A two-minute bit." "You're crazy." "Where is your confidence?" "New York Times..." ""Jack Noah sparkled, giving a fresh dimension to Richard II."" "I was good." "Can I see that?" "Thank you." ""But then... newcomer Jack Noah seemed utterly lost as Bradley."" "Very bad play." "And the director was a coke freak." "This..." "is a great play." "You don't happen to have my review of when I played Biff." "No, I'm sorry." "City Center production..." "no it's not important." "It just said I was resonant and ferocious." "It said I devoured the stage." "All right." "Let me ask you a question." "Why are you doing this?" "Why don't you just have a simple act of cremation and declare a day of mourning and that'll be that." "Parador is at a very delicate moment in its history for the dictator to die like that." "It's too much of a shock to the system." "It would be chaos." "Well, he can't live forever." "We need time to plan the transition." "You would be saving lives." "This is the part of a lifetime." "Besides, it's only for a day or two." "But you're asking me to be an imposter." "The essence of the stage." "Isn't your real name Noah Blumberg?" "Yeah, yeah." "And haven't you assumed a totally new identity?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah." "But Simms was so much taller than me." "No problem." "He wore four-inch lifts." "He was darker-haired than I was." "Fortunately, our dictator was vain." "I need some very dark makeup." "This... is the makeup case of Parador's greatest actor..." "Leono Boulette." "He died about 20 minutes ago." "Okay." "But what about his voice?" "His voice was much lower than..." "Uhh!" "When do I start?" "Now." "It's not gonna work, Strausmann!" "Why are actors so much like children?" "They need the caress... the compliments... and then they need the whip!" "The scolding!" "The orders!" "Oh, oh, oh!" "You will do it!" "I'm going to mingle with my customers." "It is important that I show myself." "When I come back, I expect to see my president." "Why didn't you get Bobby De Niro or Dustin Hoffman?" "Not available!" "I'd cut off my arm to work with Robert De Niro or Dustin Hoffman!" "They always say that about De Niro and Hoffman." "Good to see you tonight." "Where is His Excellency?" "Delayed." "And who is it tonight?" "State secrets." "I want you to take this and go to the back office, and you see this?" "You tear it off like that, and you come out screaming, all right?" "Listen to me!" "You will do it, okay?" "All right?" "Okay." "Roberto, what happened?" "I-I'm freezing." "I think I fell asleep in the meat locker." "Bravo." "Pfhht!" "Not Bobby De Niro." "♪" "Good evening, my president." "Evening, old friend." "Simms!" "Simms!" "Simms!" "Simms!" "Simms!" "Simms!" "Simms!" "Hup!" "Hup!" "Hup!" "To the airport, and hurry!" "Ha ha ha!" "To the palace, Carlo." "Please don't joke." "These boots are killing me." "I almost fainted in there." "Did you see them at the club?" "Did you hear them?" "What?" "200 drunks in the dark?" "What about the personal staff?" "What about the secretaries?" "I would be amazed if they said anything." "Somebody's gonna know, pal." "Knowing and saying are two different things." "Somebody's gonna know, and somebody's gonna say something." "Somebody is gonna sing like a canary." "You know, we eat canaries in Parador." "We're coming to the palace." "Let's practice the salute." "No." "With the right hand!" "I'm a lefty." "I'm sorry!" "Not anymore!" "Not like that." "With a flip." "Okay." "With a flip." "That's right." "You must learn it!" "I'm flipping!" "I'm flipping!" "Alfonse loved to salute." "Perfect!" "Now, you have a big speech soon." "When?" "Tomorrow." "That's impossible!" "I have..." "I need rehearsal time." "Forward, hup!" "Oy vey..." "Now we come to your entourage." "Okay." "Forward, hup!" "Alejandro is your valet." "Alejandro." "Madame Loop is your personal maid." "Dieter Lopez is your secretary." "Gunther Feldmark is your barber and his daughter, Magda, is your masseuse and manicurist." "Should I draw up your bath, sir?" "Uh...no, thank you." "Alejandro." "Should I undress you, sir?" "No!" "No, thank you, Alejandro." "I think I need the exercise." "Your Excellency..." "Ah!" "Good night, sir." "Good night." "Do you think he knew?" "No." "You were very good." "Okay." "So... when do I get the speech?" "Oh..." "I'll drop it by tomorrow." "We can rehearse." "Thank you." "It's been a difficult time, but you seem more relaxed." "Yeah, well, what the hell?" "I'll get some videotapes of Simms for you to study." "And, uh, so tomorrow," "I do the speech and that'll be that, right?" "Precisely." "Good night, my president." "Good night, my..." "my chief of the secret police." "Auf wiedersehen." "Auf wiedersehen!" "You're a funny guy!" "It's funny!" "Ha ha ha ha!" "Oh!" "That's funny with the auf wiedersehen thing." "What a psychotic!" "I want outta here." "The American embassy." "Hello?" "Hello?" "This is your dictator speaking." "This is your..." "Your nightcap, Your Excellency." "Thank you." "Good night, Your Excellency." "Good night..." "Alejandro." "To Alfonse." "Poor bastard." "Breakfast, Your Excellency!" "A delicious breakfast, Your Excellency!" "We have your favorite blood sausage this morning." "Enjoy!" "Your Excellency." "Your morning bath, Your Excellency." "Beautiful bath today, sir." "Oh, this way." "Mr. Lopez would like to see you this morning, if he may." "Who's that?" "Who's that?" "Dieter Lopez." "Ah...your bath, sir." "Oh..." "Over there, sir." "Thank you!" "Oh!" "Oh, oh!" "Look at this stuff." "Butter and cream cheese... no wonder he's dead." "Good morning." "Sleep well?" "What did you put in my drink?" "You Mickeyed my drink, right?" "Oh, I forgot to tell you!" "Alfonse had a sleeping potion every night." "He had insomnia." "He was a nervous man." "I wonder why." "When do I get my sides?" "Sides?" "The script." "The speech, goddamnit!" "Don't curse." "Never curse." "Alfonse never cursed." "He was elegant..." "charming." "Sit up straight." "Laugh." "Ha ha ha ha!" "Wrong!" "Ha ha ha ha ha!" "More, more." "Fuller, fuller!" "Alfonse love to laugh." "That's better." "That's much better!" "Ha ha!" "I like that." "Your Excellency." "Who sent for you?" "His Excellency." "Mr. Lopez...uh!" "Dieter." "The documents need your signature... he has to read them first." "But of course." "Leave us!" "But these papers are very urgent." "It's for the new dam." "Damn the dam!" "Get out!" "Maricon." "I have some videotapes of Simms for you to study." "The speeches." "I will rehearse with you later." "Mr. Strausmann..." "Please, call me Roberto." "Roberto." "Thank you." "Yes, Roberto." "Thank you." "Thank you so much." "I will." "Roberto." "I think that I'm giving a very superficial performance here." "I think it's very shallow." "You know what I mean." "It's very..." "It's very cardboard." "It's what we call in New York a result-oriented performance." "And, uh, I-I-I-I... just don't think that I can do this." "Just get me through today." "Roberto." "Play the part or I'll kill you." "You make a very good director." "Thank you." "My fellow Paradorians," "I come to you in an hour of great national mourning." "Let me assure you that the cowardly murder of Felix Carbone," "Parador's greatest athlete, and my trusted advisor..." "My trusted advisor... will not go unrevenged." "My trusted advisor." "Not only was he a great tennis player..." "Great tennis player." "...he was a man of great charm and loyalty!" "And who are his murderers?" "That same nest of radical poets and toothless Bohemians..." "I hope he makes a sharp speech today." "Good day, Your Excellency." "Beautiful day, Your Excellency." "Wonderful day for a good speech... clear sky, happy people... it reminds me of Nuremberg." "Uh...uh..." "I don't think I'd like some hot towels today." "Jawohl, mein Fuehrer." "My fellow Paradorians... you're my brothers and my sisters... you're my sons and my daughters..." "Your Excellency..." "What?" "!" "What is it?" "!" "Can I help you?" "Can't you see I'm trying to prepare?" "I'm trying to get ready..." "But your..." "I beg your forgiveness for the intrusion, sir." "It's all right, Alejandro." "You know..." "I think that the sleeping potion you are giving me is making me a little irritable." "I will reduce..." "Eliminate it." "Yes, sir." "That will be all, Alejandro." "My fellow Paradorians, you are my brothers and my sisters you're my sons and my daughters." "You're my sons and my daughters." "It's not him!" "Of course it's not him." "The walk is different." "The eyes, too innocent." "The hands of a peasant." "Say it..." "a Jew." "You think, Papa?" "Perhaps it's a trick." "I think we should tell someone." "For what earthly reason?" "Roberto's obviously involved." "Absolutely." "So opening your mouth is a good way to get killed." "I, for one, don't care who I serve." "When they say he's a dictator, and he acts like a dictator, what's the difference?" "Why rock the boat?" "Well, I don't want to lose my job." "And papa doesn't want to be in an Israeli court." "In two years I retire and go to my farm in Chile." "So let us play out the charade." "Where ignorance is bliss... 'tis folly to be wise." "The dictator is the dictator is the dictator." "Ohh, hup!" "Archbishop Aurelio Lopez... old, but cunning." "General Curzenaldo... tough, dependable... psychotic." "Humberto Solar, president of the General Assembly..." "a moron." "Of course, you suspended the General Assembly two years ago and ruled by decree under a state of siege." "Why did I do that?" "National security matters." "Oh..." "I don't feel well." "Do you get stage fright?" "All the time." "I don't wanna talk about it." "What's the drill?" "First the orchestra plays the national anthem." "Ah, ah!" "How does that go?" "You have to know that!" "You have to sing it!" "I only know "God Bless America," pal!" "Oh, it's too late." "Oh!" "♪ For we are ever...♪" "♪ And we are ever...♪" "♪ Oh, Parador, oh, Parador...♪" "♪ You give us hope forever...♪" "My...fellow..." "Paradorians... we... are a family... of the same soul." "You... are my brothers... and...and...and my sisters." "You are my...my sons... and my daughters." "You are my nieces!" "And my nephews!" "We have struggled in the past together." "And we have struggles in the future to overcome." "But as your father..." "I promise... to be faithful to your trust." "And as your son," "I promise to learn from your advice and from your tears." "The unity... of this family... is sacred." "And to those who destroy such unity..." "I say, beware." "You will be crushed!" "Yes!" "Simms!" "Simms!" "Simms!" "Simms!" "Simms!" "Simms!" "Simms!" "Simms!" "Simms!" "Simms!" "We must dream... the impossible dream... we must fight... the unthinkable goal... we must reach the unreachable star." "Until the days dwindle down to a precious few." "God bless you!" "Long live Parador!" "Simms!" "Simms!" "Simms!" "Simms!" "Simms!" "Simms!" "Simms!" "Simms!" "Simms!" "Simms!" "We have a hit." "You were magnificent." "Well, I-I just went for it." "Thank you." "Thank you." "You're so kind." "Thank you very much." "That last part, Man of La Mancha..." "I thought the speech needed a good close." "Like a solid..." "do you think I should take another bow?" "No!" "Always leave them wanting you." "You're right!" "You're absolutely right." "You'd make a very good director." "I always hate it when they take too many curtain calls." "Thank you." "Thank you so much." "You, too." "Thank you." "Thank you so much." "Oh, boy!" "Was it always like that?" "You surpassed it!" "I could do better if I was a little more relaxed..." "Great speech, Your Excellency." "You really think so, Alejandro?" "Absolutely, sir." "Thank you." "Would you like a refreshment?" "I would like a Diet Coke!" "Whatever you wish, Your Excellency." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Alfonse never drank sodas, only punas!" "Really?" "Really?" "I'm puttin' Alfonse on a diet." "For the good of his health." "Great idea!" "I like it." "Improvisation, huh?" "Yes!" "Make him thinner!" "We make a great team!" "Your drink, Your Excellency." "Diet Pepsi, not Coke." "Oh, thank you so much." "You know, I think we should stock up on some low-cal yogurt." "Plain or flavored?" "The kind with the fruit on the bottom." "Yes, Your Excellency." "Thank you." "To Alfonse." "I took a chance and it worked." "The cameras didn't come too close, and in a few months everyone will have forgotten the old Alfonse." "That miserable alcoholic." "He could be better than Alfonse." "More energy, less family bullshit!" "Precisely." "We write his part, and he plays it." "Yeah?" "How's the steaks?" "Very good." "And what about Madonna?" "She could ruin everything." "I've already made a suggestion to her that she leave the country." "Go to Miami." "With an ass like that, she could make a good living in Miami." "If she refuses?" "Hccckkk!" "To Parador..." "May we rot in hell if these secrets leave this chamber." "St. Ravis help us!" "To the 14 families." "Amen." "Hello, darling." "I had to bribe Alejandro to let me upstairs." "And don't tell Roberto, that bastard!" "But you know me, I had to come." "I had to find out the truth." "Do you know what Roberto has told me?" "He said I had to leave, and he send me to Miami and put me in a condo there." "Me, in Miami?" "I told him I don't want to go." "And I ask him if it's up to you." "He said, "Yes, of course."" "And it's your wish that I leave for my own safety and blah, blah, blah." "So..." "I say to myself" "Madonna, you and Fonse have a good relationship, more...it's a friendship!" "So, honey, if you want me to leave for some reason, you tell me yourself, okay?" "But don't send that fucking rat!" "If you tell me to go, I'll go and ask no questions." "It must be something political that I don't understand." "Did you talk to him?" "No, I did not." "I knew it!" "Honey... you're going to have to be a little tougher with him, okay?" "Mm-hmm." "Despite whatever he tells you and the other jackasses, he needs you." "Without you, they are totally exposed." "Really." "So, honey... you gave a wonderful speech today." "Very, very emotional." "That's why Roberto needs you." "We Paradorians are so romantic." "It make us fools." "It drives me crazy." "We are more than lovers." "Let's face it, honey, you are so decadent." "You really love me because I dance good." "Sex... you can get anywhere." "With a friend... who can dance." "Aah!" "Aah!" "Oh, oh, oh, oh!" "Who are you?" "My name is Jack Noah." "I'm an actor." "Oh, you're an actor." "You should get an Oscar for tonight." "Very good." "Thank you." "Thank you." "That's very nice of you." "So... what are you doing here?" "Where's Fonse?" "I'm playing the dictator." "Fonse is dead." "Fonse is dead?" "Poor bastard." "Who did it?" "!" "Roberto did it?" "No." "Well, I-I don't... they just told me that he had a heart attack." "Heart attack?" "Too many punas." "You loved him." "In a fashion." "We were friends." "He was so dumb, so sweet." "I'm sorry." "So... when are you... gonna leave for Miami?" "I'm not." "Isn't that a little dangerous?" "To be alive is dangerous." "I can help you play the part." "I knew Fonse better than anyone." "And you tell that to Roberto." "Why would you want to do that?" "Why would you want to help me?" "Why should I go to Miami?" "And work in a cocktail bar or sell cosmetics in Saks?" "When I can be the dictator's mistress?" "But the dictator's dead." "I don't think so." "You hardly know me." "I know a dictator when I see one." "Madonna was the one who helped me with the character." "She was very specific." "She gave me expressions and gestures." "What is a pachuto?" "Pork and guacamole." "My pachuto... it's beginning to hurt." "Ow." "Most of the things I did were ceremonial." "I learned real fast how sweet power was." "They exposed me to the press, but they made sure the press never got too close." "Mr. President, are you going to have..." "Mr. President, how do you feel about Panama?" "I made speeches on TV, signifying absolutely nothing." "You know, I have recently lost 20 unneeded and unwanted pounds." "So, as your leader," "I have been inspired to lead this nation to a happier and healthier existence." "Now, our Paradorian diet..." "it's tasty, yes... but it's dangerous, which is why Parador leads the world in heart disease and amoebic dysentery." "This food can kill you." "And, so, let's warm up and do some aerobics!" "And one and two and three and four!" "And fit, fit, fit, fit, fit!" "And fit!" "And fit!" "Hup, two, three, four!" "Everybody!" "Hup, two, three, four!" "And down!" "And one and two and three and four!" "Hup, two, three, four!" "Hup, two, three, four!" "It's good, yes?" "So I was dancin' through it." "Good." "Literally." "And falling for Madonna more each day." "Hips now." "Hips...hips." "Hips... very good gringo hips." "Hands." "Good." "Hands." "Good." "Beautiful." "Good." "Hold me." "Ugh!" "My back." "I thought you were a good dancer." "No, I lied." "Anything to get a job." "Very good." "Okay." "Was Fonse really such a good dancer?" "It was his best talent." "He really loved you?" "He said so." "You're getting to me, too." "Don't overact." "So why haven't you called?" "It's been months." "Forgive me." "I've been pretty busy." "Not too busy for Madonna Mendez." "Don't look surprised." "I'm surprised that you're jealous." "I'm not jealous!" "I'm disgusted!" "She's not worthy of you." "You are blushing." "You said you loved me, you adored me." "And I do." "You wanted to be with me forever." "You are always in my dreams." "You deceived me." "How did I do that?" "You've done it with all the others." "But it won't work with me." "No!" "No... you...you are different." "Yes, I am." "But I know as many tricks..." "Aaah!" "As your low-class whore." "I think you're lovely when you're angry." "Ohh!" "Ohh!" "Senorita." "Your Excellency." "Thank you so much." "It's time for you to get married." "Your mother loves me." "So she tells me." "You can't play Casanova forever, darling." "People are talking." "Call me when you're serious," "Your..." "Excellency." "Thank you for the dance." "I want to go home now." "The alcoholic wants to be First Lady." "Lulu?" "Ha ha ha!" "Not a bad choice." "An engagement would be a good public diversion." "With a festive wedding a few months later." "No way, Jose." "By the way, do I have a mother?" "Of course." "And coincidentally, I have to inform you that she's arriving from her Paris shopping trip tomorrow at three." "She's going to know that I am not her son." "Don't worry." "She has bad cataracts and a touch of memory loss." "You have never been very friendly." "What do I call this lady?" "Mama." "Mama." "Don't "Mama" me." "Ah, you do look thinner." "Everyone said you had lost weight." "I thought you had contracted syphilis, like your Uncle Orlando." "How was your trip?" "Everything is ruined by repetition...even Paris." "I bought some excellent caviar on the Rue de Reville." "Careful with that, you swine!" "Don't worry." "I'm not staying long." "Well, you are welcome here, dear Mama." "I know you don't like me." "Who cares?" "Ha!" "Your father and I managed to have a child, and we hated each other." "Mama, please, listen to me." "I love you." "No matter what has happened before," "I love you as only a son can love a mother." "You are my mother, and I love you!" "Merde to love!" "Come, Antonio!" "Watch those fox furs, you swine!" "Ha!" "Love!" "Ha ha!" "Ha ha ha ha ha!" "How long will the president swim today?" "Could be ten minutes, could be all day." "We came all the way from Mount Pachuto to swim!" "I don't care if you came from Archeto!" "No swimming until the president is finished!" "Did I make myself clear?" "!" "Yes, sir." "Okay." "You know what this is?" "This is the Sunday New York Times." "The New York times." "God!" "One day in New York is like a year in Parador." "They're doing All My Sons at the Longwharf next spring." "Bill King is directing." "Bill King happens to love my work." "He told me so." "I could be brilliant in this play." "Am I gonna be there?" "I have no idea." "You're doing well here." "Yeah, it's going okay, it's going okay." "Matter of fact, it's getting pretty easy." "Matter of fact, it's getting a little boring." "Why don't you do something good for the country?" "Started that beautification program for the airport." "That's the gateway of Parador." "I was thinking about something more profound." "Well, I decided to replace the national anthem." "You're getting crazier than Fonse." "♪ Parador ♪" "♪ Parador, I love you ♪" "♪..." "Beckon to me ♪" "Quicker than the old one." "I want to kiss you so bad I could spit." "How do you think it would look?" "Paradorians are hot-blooded." "I don't think they would mind." "You don't think it demeans the presidency?" "Torture and hunger demean the presidency... not kissing." "Here in Sula there have been two incidents." "A kidnapping and a power line destroyed." "But then effective action was taken." "At Mount Pachuto there have been dangerous battles, but we have destroyed the rebel forces." "I'm really sorry to see it, especially in the height of the tourist season, when it could scare a lot of people away from what's really a nice country." "In the region of Archeto, there has been no incidents." "For six months." "There are secret shots taken at the guerilla headquarters in the jungle." "You can see their leader, Dante Guzman... being visited by an American liberal." "Dante!" "Hombre!" "Ha ha ha ha!" "You son of a bitch, you did it!" "That's Ed Asner." "I love Lou Grant." "Those guerillas don't seem very fond of me." "Communist bastards." "What am I doing in this piece of shit?" "Where's my limo?" "We have a secret meeting in a few moments." "I thought we were gonna dedicate the dog track." "This is more important." "Who's this meeting with?" "The C.I.A." "You're blocking the way!" "Move it!" "Come on, move!" "You boys are late." "I have a very bad cold." "Yeah, and I've had the shits for the last three days." "How is it, amigo, that we've been workin' together, what, eight or nine years, you ever known me to beat around the bush?" "Okay." "Remember I told you about six months ago that the natives were restless?" "Well, they're more than restless." "These guys are about ready to flip out." "You and your people better put a capper on it, do you understand?" "Because I don't want you and your tinhorn bastards letting this thing slide to the commies, do you understand?" "This is exactly what I've been telling you." "I don't know what this bullshit is about Parador and its sovereignty." "But if it wasn't for the U.S.A. handing it over to your forbearers back in 1890, there wouldn't be any goddamn Parador." "I agree with everything this man is saying." "Another thing is, I want you to stop listening to those faggots in the State Department, understand?" "And get this..." "I am sick to death of backing bad horses." "This is a stakes race, do you understand?" "And I want a winner." "Now, you just holster your dick, okay?" "Otherwise your ass goes in a hammock back to Miami." "That is if we let you into Miami." "Holster my dick." "Okay." "Pull over!" "I wanna take a dump." "We will say good-bye to the old, hello to the new." "And so, my friends," "Parador now marches proudly into the 21st century." "I promise the people of Parador new housing, good, good condominiums, modern plumbing, hot water, tennis courts, saunas." "God bless you." "What a lie." "This is the worst slum I've ever seen in my life." "This is the good neighborhood." "You shouldn't have brought her." "I wanted some company." "You're going too far." "I'm the dictator, pal." "I can always recast the part." "I should live so long." "Here." "What's your name?" "Christiana." "How old are you?" "Oh..." "You're so sweet." "Thank you for the flowers." "Take her!" "Over there!" "Run!" "Communist bastards!" "Up the hill!" "Up the hill!" "Carmen!" "It's me, Madonna!" "Madonna!" "Come, come." "This is my friend Carmen." "I grew up here." "Oh, Carmen." "He can't stay here." "They'll kill him." "They'll kill me." "They'll kill us." "Any sign of the president?" "No, they both disappeared." "You're sure?" "Absolutely, sir." "Burn it." "They're gonna think I did this." "They're gonna think I'm a monster." "Free the people!" "Round up the usual suspects." "I will interrogate." "Immediately, sir." "When did he arrive?" "Moments ago, sir." "Is she with him?" "No, sir." "Where did you and Madonna disappear to?" "Thought we'd go shopping for a new dress." "Don't fool with me, Jack Noah." "Why are you packing?" "I'd like to spend the weekend in the Hamptons." "You're not going anywhere." "You know, I didn't sign on for this shit." "How could you burn those people out of their homes?" "Relax, my president." "I am not your president, you miserable, low-life bastard." "I'm just an actor." "This is getting too goddamn real for me." "You're going on television tomorrow to reassure the people that you're all right and that the government is in control and that the murderers will be caught and dealt with." "Sorry, I don't do TV." "You will go on television tomorrow or I will cut your balls off!" "Cut my balls off." "I know." "I know." "You know..." "I hate actors." "Good afternoon, my countrymen." "I'm very grateful to be here with you today." "I would like to begin by extending my deepest sympathies to the families of those innocent people who were killed in yesterday's attack." "They made the supreme sacrifice." "This attack was meant for me." "And they suffered the injury." "After this attack," "I had to ask myself, why would someone want to kill me?" "Being close to death... it has made me review my life and my rule." "And so, today, I would like to ask the forgiveness of the poor people of this country." "Are you afraid?" "And I pledge from this moment... to make their liberation the first concern of my government." "And those of the privileged classes must not resist this liberation." "I would also like to make a personal announcement today which should indicate the seriousness of my resolve." "I take great pleasure in announcing my engagement to my longtime companion, miss Madonna Mendez." "Now, there are those of my advisors who tell me that this is a mistake, that Madonna is one of the common people." "Well, to me, this is her greatest virtue." "That swine!" "It is only through her that I understand the sufferings and the hopes of the people of Parador." "And, so, my fellow citizens, we must work together to triumph over evil... to make Parador truly..." "the land of the free and the home of brave." "Out." "You want a valium?" "So you think this is amusing?" "I thought it was a good speech." "It was suicide." "Your suicide." "You're hyperventilating." "I'm gonna make you suffer." "You're a Harvard man." "Use your brains." "You can't kill me." "You've played your last role." "You need me." "I'm the dictator." "Actors are a dime a dozen." "Not this good, Roberto." "You really think you're my dictator?" "You're as good as dead." "I've got an interview tomorrow with Dick Cavett." "Dick Cavett?" "Network TV." "Brilliant, Your Excellency!" "Just brilliant!" "Totally castrates the Commies!" "I tell ya, you're a genius." "He's a total bloody genius, isn't he?" "Roberto, hmm?" "Yes, yes." "Perhaps." "Perhaps he is a genius." "Your Excellency, could I use your..." "your bathroom?" "Certainly, certainly." "One left, one right, two more lefts." "Okay." "What would you say really brought the change about?" "I could give you many reasons, but the main..." "the main reason is my lovely Madonna here." "The...the woman behind the throne, eh?" "Can you tell me, Miss Mendez, what changes have you seen in him?" "Has there been a lot of change from your point of view?" "Well, he's not the same man I first met." "That's for sure." "Would you tell us, Excellency, how you see the future of Parador?" "I would like to see elections to the General Assembly very soon, very soon." "Uh, to begin the problems of land reform." "Mm-hmm." "And also..." "I would like to begin a dialogue with the guerrillas to put an end to all of this terrible violence." "I must say that's extraordinary because...well, the idea of extending that kind of hope to the very people who tried to assassinate you." "We all have to live with critics." "Even you." "Well, mine use words instead of bullets." "I hope this isn't a rude question or premature, but what do you see as your epitaph?" ""He played his part well."" "Recently, we have heard rumors about a government program of birth control?" "I'm certain that is an unfounded rumor, Excellency." "Speaking of rumors... they say there are priests who help the rebels." "Renegades." "Antichrist!" "Mmm." "Huh?" "What is this beautiful stone, Eminence?" "It's a Paradorian sapphire, Excellency." "Your Eminence, may I speak frankly?" "Certainly." "I think the Church would make a beautiful gesture... by donating this priceless ring... to the poorer members of the flock." "God bless you, Your Eminence." "The people loved me... well, except for him." "♪" "We were a hit." "We were a smash." "We were standing room only." "Madonna was my best friend." "She was sexy, she was smart, she was funny." "She was Marilyn Monroe and Eleanor Roosevelt rolled into one." "I loved her." "Only had one problem..." "I'd been playing the same damn part for almost a year." "I'm so goddamned bored I can't see straight." "I don't wanna play the son of a bitch anymore." "I wanna go home, you know?" "I wanna watch the Knicks on TV." "I'd pay big money to see Hollywood Squares." "I hate Alfonse Simms." "Don't fade on me now, Jack." "Look how these people believe in you." "They don't believe in me... they believe in him." "You really want to abandon these people to Roberto?" "Sanctuary!" "Sanctuary..." "Listen to my little friends!" "That one's François." "And this one is Big Bertha." "She made me dance!" "Oh, why was I not made of stone like that?" "I used to think it was the part, you know?" "Brando had the part when he did Streetcar." "And De Niro had the part when he did Raging Bull." "But I got the part." "It's not enough." "Do you know what I think?" "I think you are playing your best role." "But there is no audience to see it." "I'm an actor." "I'm just a goddamned actor." "I forgot to tell ya." "Another movie company has come to Parador." "Do you think everything is cast?" "Okay." "Five, six, all cameras, so we've got about 20 minutes of good light." "Let's go." "Okay, quiet, please." "This is a take and roll it!" "132, take one!" "Background action." "Action, Liz." "Energy!" "Are you Jeff?" "Couldn't pay anybody else to be." "Well, I'm Liz!" "What are you drinkin', Liz?" "Got somethin' dietetic?" "Yeah, water." "They make a marvelous dry martini here." "Friends of yours?" "That's funny." "I was gonna ask you the same thing." "Cut!" "That was fine!" "First of all..." "Fine!" "That was fine!" "It was good for me!" "It was good for me." "Print it." "Print it." "My director, Edgar Lowe." "Very efficient." "Thank you, Mr. President." "My leading actor." "You are very good looking." "Thank you, Mr. President." "My leading actress." "You are a marvelous actress." "Thank you." "Simply marvelous." "Thank you." "And this is Clint Adler." "He does all our gunshots and explosives." "Our special effect." "Congratulations." "Yes." "Very realistic." "Thank you." "Are you enjoying your stay here in Parador?" "Oh, yes, sir, Your Excellency." "You may not remember, but I was here a year ago with another film." "You came to the set?" "We shook hands?" "Oh, yes!" "Yes, I do remember!" "Yes, it's so very good to see you have returned." "Oh, I love it here." "In fact, this year, I'm gonna stay for Carnival." "You must, you must." "The Carnival..." "spectacular!" "Nice to see you again." "Thank you, sir." "I love it here." "Mr. President." "Thank you." "Did you see that?" "Clint looked right in my eyes, and I waited for any glint of recognition, and there was nothing." "I must be pretty good." "They're doing Streetcar at Lincoln Center." "Son of a bitch!" "Boy would I love to read for Mischkin!" "♪" "♪ Parador ♪" "♪ My country so lovely ♪" "♪ Your flowers, your mountains, your valleys ♪" "♪ Beckon to me ♪" "♪ Parador ♪" "♪ Parador, I love you ♪" "♪ Hold me forever ♪" "♪ This land of the brave and the free ♪" "♪ Your fountains, your beaches ♪" "♪ Your coffee, your peaches ♪" "♪ Your guava and papaya, too ♪" "♪ Your hammocks, bananas ♪" "♪ Your moonlit cabanas ♪" "♪ Can make all our dreams come true ♪" "♪ Parador ♪" "♪ Parador, I love you... ♪" "♪ Hold me forever ♪" "♪ This land of the brave ♪" "♪ And the free ♪" "Get him!" "Roberto!" "Assassin." "Assassin!" "Roberto!" "Assassin!" "Assassin!" "He's an actor!" "Assassin!" "He's an actor!" "He's an actor!" "Assassin!" "Good-bye... my...my Madonna." "Good-bye... my beloved Parador." "Good-bye my peop..." "Good-bye, my president." "I hate actors." "Whaa!" "Oh, boy, what a night!" "Is that amazing?" "You were fabulous!" "What a performance!" "It was terrible!" "No, it was great!" "It could have been better." "No, no, no!" "I was there!" "You're not a good judge." "I'm telling you..." "He's defrosting." "This is Ike Pappas, reporting from Parador City." "Let me tell you what I know at the moment, advising you that the situation is extremely confused." "First we know that the president was shot as he moved forward on the reviewing stand." "We later learned that the wounds were fatal." "Roberto Strausmann, the Secretary of the Interior and the head of the national police, was killed by the crowd." "Dante Guzman, leader of the revolutionary front, has denied any involvement, and labor leaders have called for a general strike starting tomorrow." "Parador City is a city in chaos and mourning." "The famed singer, Sammy Davis, Jr." ", was an eyewitness." "Sammy what happened?" "Well, Ike, it was probably the most frightening thing" "I've ever been a part of." "I was standing right next to the president when he died." "And, uh, it was..." "I would like to just say to the people of Parador my sympathies are with them." "And, uh...you'll have to forgive me, Ike." "It was a little rough." "Thank you." "Thank you, Sammy." "Now, back to New York." "This is Ike Pappas in Parador." "It took a lot of balls, Clint." "Now you know that special effects men are nuts." "You should hurry." "You gotta move it, Jack." "Madonna, come with me." "How can I?" "God, I'm gonna miss you." "I'm gonna miss this moon." "I don't wanna go." "Go." "There is no time." "C'mon, Jack!" "Let's roll!" "Why do these feelings happen when you leave?" "I love you." "And I love this place!" "This has been the greatest time." "And I'll never forget you." "I love you, too." "I'll call you." "You know how to get me in New York." "I have an answering machine and a service." "I'll call your agent." "I'm thinking of changing agents." "He hasn't called me in a year, the son of a bitch." "I love you." "Jack, let's roll!" "I love you." "What a moment!" "Right out of Casablanca!" "Fantastic!" "It is right out of Casablanca." "A bit more like Dynasty if you ask me." "Hardest thing I ever did in my life." "But I'm gonna tell you something, it just proves to me how much I love acting." "I mean... no matter what else happens to me," "I'm never gonna have that..." "that doubt, you know?" "That feeling that I should've done something else with my life." "Bravo." "Mr. Allen, Mr. Pack will see you now." "Well..." "I'm sorry, I just don't buy it, Jack." "But it's a great story." "It's a great story, Jack." "You gotta light?" "Sure." "We interrupt this program to bring you a special report." "We take you to Ike Pappas in Parador City." "Two days of strikes and protests have ended with members of Parador's Presiding Council fleeing the country and the Revolutionary Council naming a new president." "This has been a revolution, all right, but a fairly bloodless one." "The president's body lay in state all day yesterday and today with thousands of mourners waiting to pay their respects." "All of the ceremony has led to this one remarkable moment..." "Parador has a new leader, a woman with a chance to change the course of history." "My fellow Paradorians," "I come here to dedicate myself to the memory of our beloved leader, whose dreams we must keep alive." "My first act is to declare amnesty for all political prisoners." "Yes, we will dream the impossible dream." "Mr. Noah, Mr. Pack can see you now." "Thanks." "Thank you." "Thank you so much." "♪ Yo no se que hacer contigo... ♪" "♪ Ni te tengo ni te olvido ♪" "♪ Y quiero seguir haci ♪" "♪ Juguete de tus caprichos ♪" "♪ ¿Para que quererte tanto?" "..♪"