"People say that all women want to be princesses" "Have they seen a real princess before?" "I am a princess" "My father is of course, the Emperor" "Even though we live under the same roof" "But the roof of the palace is a huge one" "We can only see each other twice a year" "The first occasion is National Day" "And the second is the Emperor's birthday" "Which is today" "Mistress Feng's Princess Ping" "My little Ping" "I wish Father a long life with countless blessings" "Good" "Thank you Father" "Mistress Lan's Princess Xiu" "Little Xiu" "I wish Father an ageless life with many happy returns" "Mistress Yu's Princess Yuan" "I wish Father..." "Good" "I wish Father good health with vigorous spirit" "Good" "Thank you Father" "Mistress Feng's Princess Gui" "Wishing Father a happy birthday" "Mistress Zhen's Princess Xiang" "Good, good" "I wish Father gains a son in old age" "Mistress Ann's Princess Hua" "Mistress Twin's Princess Faye" "I'm Princess Gou" "Ouch!" "Happy Birthday Father" "How about this one who dive in?" "Princess Yan" "Little Yan" "That trick is called"Flat out like a Lizard"" "I devised it specially for your birthday" "Flat out like a Lizard" "How creative of you" "I'm very pleased" "This is the only one left" "It's beautiful" "Thank you Father" "As a princess" "Her daily routine is to eat, play and sleep" "When she reach the age of marriage" "She has to receive Sir Yang's special training" "This year, 11 sisters are in class with me" "Sex is necessary for humankind" "And is the best way to retain a good relationship" "Today I am going to teach you the 3rd skill in bed" ""Playing Hard to Get"" "Pay attention and follow what we do" "Your body must be light" "Your waist must be flexible" "Pretending to be sick" "And show signs of weakness sigh in a sexy way" "Spin back" "And sigh in a sexy way" "Ah" "Ah" "If you are to marry, this class is compulsory" "When in Rome, do as Romans do" "If you meet a westerner, say I love you" "His jaw will drop and so will his pants" "If you're in Japan, you'll feel right at home" "Because they all write in Chinese" "Wear your kimono" "Take a bow and says Good Morning" "If you end up in barbarous Europe" "They won't know a word of Chinese" "Greet him with Bon apptit before eating" "Ans the French will get in a fit" "Bring it back now" "I hereby grant you, Cheng Qian, son of General Cheng Feng" "The title General of Loyalty" "Thank you Emperor" "My father sacrifice his life for the country" "I shall follow his path" "And devote myself for the nation and the Emperor" "When will I have the honor to fight for you, Emperor?" "It's peace time now" "Why don't you retreat to the gills and do some farm work?" "When we need you" "You will be the first on the call list" "Please raise General" "Your mother has been widowed for 20 years" "To reward her for her fidelity" "I have decided to grant her a gift as compliment" "Wow this really does suit her" "Son" "I still don't get it" "Why on earth the Emperor grants me this?" "Compensate for your shortcomings" "Shouldn't it describe your father" "Who helped the Emperor protect His land?" "I think He wanted to praise you for protecting a piece of land" "Which is way smaller than the one father had protected" "Peace is beneficial to everyone" "But to a keen young man, it's a waste of his talents" "Even though I've been made a general" "But I will fight against crime whenever I can" "Out of my way or I will put you in jail" "I can accuse you a few more offences" "Li, as a police sergeant" "You've been taking advantage of your powers" "Just last month" "You robbed 30 pieces of land and took 12 girls by force" "Covered up for those filthy businessmen and released the prisoners" "You even peed on the street 47 times" "For the sake of people, I must arrest you today!" "The General's plaque from the Emperor?" "So the General wants to do the God's duty huh?" "Come General" "Strike me with that great sword of yours" "Where's your guts?" "Just scrape me a little" "Ouch!" "I got it!" "The pain enlightened me" "Thank you General for the lesson" "I shall reflect on my wrong doings in the past" "I must do that" "Did you all realize the bad deeds you've done?" "Yeah all of a sudden we did" "Then off you go get a room at the hotel" "And find a woman to reflect opon" "Yes" "Maintaining social order isn't something you can do overnight" "Let's call it a day" "And go to the Peach Blossom Festival for a drink and relax" "Awesome!" "I've been waiting for this" "That's why we are here today" "Let's go drinking" "Let's go" "A light body" "And a flexible waist" "A twist to the side and fall into his arms" "Be careful!" "Ouch!" "Why all this practice?" "When we're only practising among girls?" "It's not like we're going to practise with Sir Yang and Sir Zhang" "They're not even proper men" "What should we do?" "It's no use just sitting here" "I need a man" "Who else here doesn't need a man?" "A pricness shouldn't be so loose" "Even if you were, lower your voice" "Ah I need a man" "You are all desperate for men?" "Yes!" "I know a place where we can see many of them" "Where?" "The lanterns are so pretty" " Hey have you been to that hotel?" " It's alright" "Awesome!" "Cute guys" "Hey...hold it" "We need to pretend not to look at them" "And enjoy of being checked out by guys" "Let them stew in disappointment of being ignored" "You're right" "Hey stop looking" "At your position of north-northwest" "They're pretty yet already being occupied" "I'm a man" "We're men and we're doing fine" "Those two guys are like kids" "Just like you" "Here comes the highlight... of the Peach Blossom Festival" "Also the host's favorite game" "Speed-Fate-ing" "If you're feeling lonely" "And within that loneliness you're all alone" "Then this game is for you" "In a moment" "Each pair of singles will get to know each other" "In the time this hourglass takes to empty out" "When I hit the gong" "All the gentlemen should move one seat to the left" "And get to know the next lady" "And so on" "R.emember in Speed-Fate-ing we believe in Fate" "And Speed" "Damn I shouldn't have dressed up as a man" "Loser" "Let's get started" "Move seats" "You look familiar" "You can recognise me through this veil?" "Mother!" "You..." "Yes it's me..." "Alright" "Look if you're a filial son" "Give your mother a chance" "Look around you" "I'm just want to have fun" "It that okay?" "This one's not for me" "Off you go now" "I'm a humble girl without bad habits" "But I do like getting my hair washed by the river stream" "And you sir?" "A man as rakish likes me...and most of all, randy" "Why don't you lower your veil miss" "And allow me to enjoy your tenderness" "Oh but wait" "I can't." "I might be shy" "But I do like men who is randy" "Ex.cellent" "A woman who treasures their appearance so much" "Must be a beauty" "Let me help you" "No please don't" "Wait sir" "Let's chat first I just want one touch" "You skin is soft indeed" "And your hand too" "Smooth as a shelled egg" "How dare you molest a woman in public?" "Mind your own business" "I'll touch her as I please" "Asshole" "You..." "How dare you hit my royal..." " What?" " Call them" "Call them" "You're in deep trouble now" " Let's go" " What's happening?" "Just leave!" "What took you so long?" "Your Highnesses" "Where are you?" "They've all gone now!" " Go after them!" " Yes!" "Quick!" "My dear Emperor" "My King would like to show his respect for your culture" "By sending gifts along with our marriage proposal" "In hope that you will agree to it" "Since the King of the West has come in good faith" "I will honor this by selecting a princess myself" "To become the queen of your country" "May all princesses enter" "Father" "Good" " Emperor I have made a selection" " Good" "This princess here" "Good taste" "I should remind you" "I don't do returns once a princess leaves the palace" "You have a 7-day period to think about it" "Thank you Emperor" "When you arrive in the West you must serve your Lord well" "And not ever embarrass your country" "Yes Father" "I won't let you down" "Good" "But where is the West?" "Sir Yang" "This is ther globe and China is here" "K..orea and Japan" "And the West is..." "Here" "Where?" "The ex.act location is in Far Far Away" "Far Far Away?" "Little Yan, congratulations on becoming Queen Far Far Away" "Don't worry, we will be with you." "The Emperor's word is being delivered" "On behalf of the Emperor" "Princess Yan is bound for a long journey to the West" "In order to protect her" "And complete the mission in time" "General Cheng will act as her guard in the quest" "Thank you Emperor" "You've never left Beijing in your life" "I'm quite worried about you" "How about I come with you?" "No way" "You don't have to worry about me" "Because I'm part of" "The Chan family Tiger and Panther" "Madam, General" "Why are you overweight?" "The more you eat and the healthier you'll be" "Where's Jacky?" "Madam you see" "We can't afford Jackie Chan on our budget" "With me Tiger" "And my great strategies we'll do just fine" "In other words, you're no good at fighting" "This piece of Jade is our family's heirloom" "Your father carried it with him through his myriad battles" "Bring it with you it will bring you luck and blessings" "Without you I'll be really lonely" "Please don't be lonely, Mother" "R.emember the words from the Emperor" "Every woman has shortcomings they need to compensate for" "Princess, everything is ready" "Little Yan, you look beautiful in your wedding gown" "After you leave today" "Who knows when we will be able to meet again" "Pick your dowry." "I'll promise you anything" "Just tell me" "You have so many daughters who are as fine as pearls" "I just want to be Father's most special pearl" "Thank you Father" "As a princess I will accept my fate" "Fate looks down on those who give in" "I wish you happiness forever" "Queen Far Far Away is here!" "My little Yan is getting married!" "Set off" "We should be able to rest after passing the pasture" "Yes General" " Fuchsia, bring the General to me" " Yes" "The Princess wants to see the General" "Alright" "I'm Tiger" "Fuchsia" " General, the Princess requests your presence" " Okay" "Your Highness" "General, have we met before?" "No" "Why don't you take a good look?" "Just in case you lose me later on" "It's easier to find me" "Fair enough" "So do I look familiar?" "I seem to know you but again not really" "Come closer to get a better look" "Look familiar yet?" "Do you recall?" "Still no idea?" "You better listen carefully" "I'm the one who flirt with your mum at the Peach Blossom Festival" "That pervert you slapped" "You still don't recall?" "Yes!" "I remember!" "I can put you into death penalty" "Shouldn't you be thankful?" "Thank you, Your Highness" "Out of my sight" "What are you looking at?" "Nothing We didn't see a thing" "Yes, nothing happened" "I'm so bored, why aren't we leaving?" "Hey why aren't we leaving?" "I order you to set off immediately!" "The Princess orders you to set off!" "Not moving?" "Fine you are all to be beheaded" "You!" "Chop his head off!" "And you!" "Chop his head off too!" "The Princess just wants everyone to listen to her right?" "You better show your respect to the Princess!" "As soldiers we only take military commands" "Everyone shall leave ex.cept the Princess's cart" "R.egroup!" "Your Highness, I have my powers as General too" "Draw the blinds" "General, that's so cool!" "I'm mad!" "I can see everyone is full and happy" "How about a game?" " Shall we?" " Yeah!" "Yeah..." "Your Highness" "Forget about formalities." "Our journey is long" "We can all have some fun together" "We shall oblige as the Princess wishes" "But our games can get too rowdy for Your Highness" "So?" "You'd be surprised how rowdy I can get" "Just to be clear, what's in the game stays in the game" "Sure, let's get started" "Yeah!" "It's simple" "Whoever picks up the straw that says"Emperor"" "Can ask peoke here to do whatever he likes" " Okay?" " Yup" "Hare dare you imitate the Emperor?" "We had a deal." "What's in the game stays in the game" "Fine then I quit" "Hey..." "It's just a game." "Let's start" "Haha..." "I'm the Emperor!" "I shall command..." "I command A and H to ex.change clothing" "A and H to ex.change clothing." "Ah..." "It's you?" "I don't want to swap with that fat boy" "Fat boy?" "He's obviously an old fat man" "You call me an old fat man?" "Come with me" "Swap clothes!" "I feel like I can dance now" "Stop it!" "You look gross!" "I got the"Emperor' straw!" "Give me some ice" "Your Highness" "I want the one who drew I and D" "To put this ice between their cheeks until it melts" "It's you?" "I'm going to melt" "Yeah right, enjoy it" "He got lucky" "Being"Emperor" is no fun" "The ones who get to play have more fun" "Can't sleep, Your Highness?" "Looks like you had a nightmare" "Can't you sleep either General?" "Talk with me" "Is this the pearl from the Emperor's crown?" "It was the dowry Father gave me" "I can remember his face by looking at the pearl" "What about you General?" "Did you receive any heirlooms" "From your family?" "My mother gave me this piece of Jade" "I wonder how she's doing" "She'll be fine" "Would you mind if I took a closer look?" "Not at all" "Well yet it's my family's heirloom after all, please take care" "I'm always careful" "The Jade is so pretty, General" "Yes indeed Do be careful" "The moonlight reflects its transparency" "It had been with my father through countless battles" "If I lost it by accident, do you think it'd be easy to find?" "If I offended Your Highness in any way earlier" "Please...please forgive me" "Oh no!" "No!" "I didn't mean it, General!" "You did it on purpose" "No I didn't!" "Now I'll sleep tight" "When will we set off today?" "But I heard that the General is missing" "R.eally?" "The General is missing?" "General" "Good morning General Cheng" "You were gone the entire night" "If anything goes wrong with my royal self" "You'll be a dead man" "Oh!" "You didn't lose it." "Give it back" "What?" "What are you trying to do?" "You..." "What did you say?" "You always stop short before you're done" "I doubt it if you can protect me in this journey" "I wish I'm in Far Far Away now" "Are you sure, Your Highness?" "As fast as you can go" "Alright" "Set off" "Ridiculous" "Do they even know how to drive?" "Your Highness" "Can we rest here for a while?" "The Princess has fallen ill" "How are you feeling?" "It is General Cheng, Your Highness" "Tell him to come in" "General, please enter" "I was informed that your Highness had fallen ill" "Here's my family prescription made especially for car sickness" "I'm telling you" "If I die in a foreign land" "You'd better count" "How many relatives you have" "Because I'll have them pretty much all beheaded" "We've both tricked each other" "Drink this up and let's call it a draw" "You have to feed me" "Why are you blocking your face?" "Do you think I'll spit at you?" "No" "You think I'm the kind of woman" "Who is incapable of forgiveness?" "Never crossed my mind" "I'm telling you" "I'm such a woman with grudges" "I just love taking revenges!" "You feel better now, Your Highness?" "Better in which way?" "Both car sickness and emotionally" "Whatever" "I will take my leave" "I feel a bit better" "Still a little dizzy but definitely feeling better" "But I think" "Your medicine doesn't work as well as you" "Then I will apply myself in healing Your Highness" "Oh I'm dizzy again" "A different kind of dizziness, right?" "The General's plaque is as good as the General in flesh" "From now on" "We don't need to rush full speed ahead" "We will travel as slowly as possible" "And enjoy the journey" "Is that clear?" "Yes" "Who stole my clothes?" "How dare you?" "Impersonating the General." "Get him!" "Yes" "Who dares to remove my clothes?" "Can't even take a joke" "I know Your Highness has a hobby of cross-dressing" "You may wear my clothes" "But please return the plaque" "It's just a stupid plaque anyway" "General Cheng, receive the plaque with both hands" "Protect the General!" "Yes" "Good job Tiger" "Thank you General" "Leave..." "You can have your clothes back" "Front..." "Back..." "You lost" "Are you ready?" "Yes 1, 2, 3, Marco Polo" "1, 2, 3, Marco Polo" "1, 2, 3, Marco Polo" "1, 2, 3, Marco Polo" "I won!" "When did you get here?" "What are you doing?" "Aren't you a princess?" "Be honest with me, have you ever been ridden?" "This is the first time" "I've ridden plenty of eunuchs but you're the first General" "Since it's our first time" "Why don't you be my little horse then?" "Go!" "Faster!" "Stay still, Your Highness" "But I'm riding a horse" "I heard there are stars that fly past in the blink of an eye" "They're called shooting stars" "If you make a wish before it disappears" "That wish will come true" " R.eally?" " Yeah" "Look!" "A shooting star!" "I want youth and beauty forever" "I want to be happy and gain without pain" "I wish to find someone who will love me all my life" "I want world peace" "But the world is at peace" "R.eally?" "You didn't say a thing, what did you wish for?" "What did you wish for, Your Highness?" "I'd have said it if I can" "Yeah right" "Wow there's a cluster of them" ""Meanwhile in Far Far Away, there's a King who loves hunting"" "Shot!" "When await turns into hope" "Love is all around" "It comes even earlier than I expect" "What's in this world is more important..." "Shot!" "I'm serious, Your Highness" "When will you give the Jade back?" "It's mine now" "I am a princess, do I need your permission for anything?" "Please stop talking,Your Highness and General" "I can't paint in this way" "General, I got a smart idea" "I have thought of a way to get the Jade back" "We can send a few soldiers to disguise as bandits" "And pretend to attack us" "The Princess must freak out when she sees this" "By that time, what you have to do" "Is to show up and save the beauty" "She sure will thank you" "And return the Jade to you" "That shall work" "But cheating the Princess is..." "What?" "It is a fatal crime" "So why are you suggesting it?" "Well...we are bored here" "I'm just trying to say something" "Think of something else then" "It's too late" "You know, Panther is too hasty" "He has already put my words into action" "Why don't you tell me earlier?" "Such beautiful flowers!" "What kind are they?" "Ah!" "Shut up!" "Shut up!" "Give us all your valuables" "Otherwise I'll..." "Help!" "Guards!" "Be quite!" "I told you not to shout!" "Apologies for the tardiness, Princess" "I'm here for you, Your Highness" "Why are you winking?" "Do you have a twitch?" " Be serious" " Careful General" "Your Highness, you must..." "keep the Jade and Pearl safe!" "Brothers!" "She got the Jade and the Pearl!" "Yes!" "We have to be that serious?" "More?" " Are you for real?" " Do I look like a fake?" "General" "Leopard, who are those people?" "R.eal bandits, protect the Princess!" "Don't be afraid, Your Highness" "I can't tell who's who in this mess" "Whoever's with me, come with me" "Stay here if you're not with me" "Stay!" "General" "I thought you left ages ago." "What's keeping you?" "I need some time for costume and make up" "What?" "They are fake bandits?" "Listen to me, Your Highness" "General, you're bleeding at the back" "Oh blood" "General" "I brought you some medicine" "And I got something to say" "She knew I'm just trying to play Prince Charming" "Yet she brought me medicine by herself" "Has she already fallen in love with me?" "He must think I've fall in love with him" "Actually it's the other way round" "Just then..." "You're injured, have a good rest" "Let me help you with the wound" "Thank you, Your Highness" "Does it hurt a lot?" "Damn it, I just want to take a piss" "Let me put more on, it's a deep wound" "Shu... you're shushing too loud" "The Princess is helping General with his wound" "What's the Princess doing?" "Stop looking..." "It hurts!" "Is it too tight?" "Turn around" "It's done" "It hurts my eyes" "Princess..." "Don't..." "I never know bandaging could be so tiring" "Thanks for the medicine, Your Highness, I'm better now" "You're just acting tough" "Seriously, I can do push-ups" "Look" "Are you sure?" " Looks like the Princess is getting hurt now" " Yeah" "I can do it faster too" "Is that how you can get better?" "That's a hard move" "What did you want to ask me earlier?" "Well..." "It seems like you had something to ask me too?" "No, what?" "Nothing" "What?" "What nothing?" "Nothing" " What?" " What?" "Why are you all here?" "General, Your Highness, we won't whisper a word" "About what you were doing!" "Nothing happened yet!" "Whoever dares to utter a word" " I'll have his whole family killed!" " Yes!" "I'm San Niang" "A nicer description of my job is Tribe Leader" "To be frank, I'm just a thief" "Now I'm listening to my boys' crappy explanations" "As to why the operation failed today" " And so just like that...we failed" " We failed" "Ava, Tar, what ex.actly were you saying" "In that long speech of yours?" "If it wasn't the other unruly bandits" "Who cuts in half way" "I'm sure we could have captured that princess" "How do you know she is a princess?" "A man suddenly shot out of nowhere" "Ans wrapped his arms around the girl" "He said to her" ""Be careful Your Highness, and don't be afraid"" "One more thing, we almost killed the General" "How do you know he is the General?" "While we attacked" "The Princess was like" ""Oh please be careful General..."" "And we found that they had" "Some kind of jade and pearl with them" "Those must be treasures" "How do you know the treasures were jade and pearl?" " Have you seen them?" " Not with our own eyes" "But that the General said" ""The Jade and the Pearl are really precious"" ""Take good care of them"" "Just like that" "Perfect." "As they're camping at the foot of the hill" "Go fetch me a huge boulder" "We'll throw it down" "Crush them and catch them off guard" "Then the Jade and the Pearl will be mine" "Hahaha..." "Wait" "The bride and the groom may take their bows" "Ouch!" "It must be real hurt" "Okay it's done" "Next, you guys should have fun in bed" "I agree" "General, let me help you" "With this strenuous task" "I don't want you" "She doesn't want me" "That's it for tonight, let's call it a day" "Why's that?" "We're having such a good time" "If we keep playing like this there's no turning back" "It's you who said what's in the game stays in the game" "And now you quit playing" "How can you switch back and forth like that?" "Women are like that" "Anyway, I'm not playing" "I won't allow that" "You're ruining my dress" "I'm telling you" "You and I" "Are no longer playing a game" "But what if anyone finds out" "About what we did" "We'd be defying our families and the heavens" "I don't give a damn about impudence or not loyal" "Let's ex.change our tokens of love" "Defying the heavens" "Defying our families" "Run..." "What's happening?" "Attack!" "Attack..." "General, those are real bandits!" "Take the Princess away" "Chief, those two are the Princess and the General" "Let's elope in this chaos" "No one will know if you take me away" "I don't want to be Lady Far Far Away" "Your Highness" "Yan" "Get out of the way" "Where are the Jade and the Pearl?" "He won't say" "Beat him up, Ava" "Still so tight-lipped?" "It's because you didn't even hit him, idiot!" "R.eally?" "Tar" "Let me do it" "Get a taste of this!" "I can't believe you're this tight-lipped and thick-skinned" "What a pair of dumbass!" "One can't see close up" "And the other can't see from afar" "Of course he won't tell a thing" "Tell you what, unlike them" "My eyes are fine" "You don't know where the Jade and the Pearl are?" "How about the Pearl and the Jade?" "You think I'm kidding?" "Get me a knife!" "Do you know what's special about this knife?" "It makes a clean cut" "One strike and your head will fall off with a clean drop" "Hit the ground and bounce to the side of your body" "You'll regret it when you see your headless self" "Why didn'r you tell me earlier?" "What the heck" "Sending letters like this every day..." "Is he a psycho or what?" "Why can't he come straight to me?" "Chief, it might be a love letter" "Yeah I'm sure that Bangit Wingold" "Has a crush on you" "R.eally?" "He does?" "Hey, it's a letter to declare war" "It's a love letter" "It says"Declaration of War"" "Are you all illiterate?" "I thought it's a diagram or something" "Is it sent to the wrong place?" "What's inside?" "It says..." "You've been ignored my warning of surrender" "I now declare war on the 15th of this month" "On the day I will have San Niang" "San Niang what?" "It says he wants to ravage San Niang" "Ravage me?" " Ravage our Chief?" " He's looking to be killed" "Quiet" "It's all your fault, none of you weridos can read" "Now we're in this mess" "Think of something" "And see if we can win this battle" "Would you two mind helping me up?" "Alright" "Looking at the lay of land here, it's hopeless" "You're surrounded by trees" "If they choose to use fire weapons" "Then you'll all dead" "I believe you should attack rather than defend" "I don't quite get it, but carry on" "If you believe in me, Chief" "I'll use all I know to help you" "So that you're left untouched" "You're afraid I'll be ravaged?" "Yes, and I'm more afraid of losing the Princess" "So if I help you this time" "I hope you can promise" "To let me go look for the Princess" "Sure, you can do whatever you like if we win this battle" "I'm San Niang" "I'm Cheng Qian" "Cheng Qian, I'm impressed" "Yet before we succeed" "Don't ever think I'm going to let you go" "Put him back to the cell" "Yes, this way please" "Here's your declaration" "This way please" "I, Ling" "Am a talented storyteller" "I guess I'm too talented, that's why I have no luck" "I haven't done well in either business or love" "My life is worthless" "There is nothing left for me" "I decide to give my life a dramatic ending" "Goodbye my life" "The gods are jealous of genius like me" "What's going on?" "Help!" "I'm drowning!" "Do you have common sense?" "I'm about to hang myself, why you still pull the rope?" "Stop laughing!" "I get it" "Dear God, you just won't let me die so soon, right?" "I'll take your silence as affirmation" "We'll fight it out another day" "What are you trying to do?" "You won't let me die and now won't even leave me alone" "Stop following me!" "I..." "I want to ask you who I am" "How am I supposed to know?" "We've just met" "Just stand there and don't move" "The police will patrol around here soon" "Stand still" "Don't follow me..." "Hey" "Who am I?" "What's wrong with you?" "I need to show her" "My true colours" "You want to tell me that you will show me your true colours?" "Damn it." "She knows my thoughts" "I will let you see my vicious side" "Who am I?" "Why am I even paying attention to her?" "It's raining like cats and dogs outside" "A girl is all alone in flimsy clothes" "That will be soaked in a second" "Should the wind blows" "She will be left cold and shivering" "And feel lost in the world" "She'd rather be dead." "Hahaha..." "First thing first" "You won't be freeloading here" "It just so happens that I need an assistant" "You can come work for me" "But who exactly am I?" "Why are you still asking me this?" "Because I really want to know" "I used to have a doggie called Lucky" "She died because she's trying to protect me from a pig" "Let's call you Lucky then" "Hopefully you can bring me luck" "If I'm Lucky, then who are you?" "Finally you're asking me" "Me, Ling, a renowned storyteller in town" "At this point, she will surely ask" "Why?" "Good question" "Let me tell you" "The man right in front of you" "Is a wordly and knowledgeable genius" "With his terrific oratory skills, he's renowned in storytelling circles" "He is loved by all" "And admired by many" "Thank you, oh it's you again" "Thank you so much" "Who are you shaking hands with?" "Ignorant fool." "As a performer" "One must always maintain his performing state of mind" "You can't let yourself go for even a second" "Always remember there is audience before you" "That's how you train yourself up" "As my assistant" "You must learn this too, got it?" "Off to work now" "Lucky, state of mind!" "What state of mind?" "Performance state of mind!" "The story of Yangtze River, Episode 109" "Last time, we talked about crossing the turbulent Yangtze waters" "Passing deep gorges" "While riding on a horse, to arrive at Xiling Gorge" "We found that the people there are simple and primitive" "The women were..." "Hey Ho Hey Ho" "Today, I will be telling the story of a slutty woman" "You may not know that a slutty woman has a certain look" "A round face does well in social circles" "With one eye larger than the other, they're hard to please" "Top lip thin and bottom lip heavy" "Means they'll go after your buddy" "See you later for the 110th episode of the story of Yangtze River" "So delicious!" "That ugly monster is Ximen" "Take a look at him." "He's a total two-face" "In a while he'll come over and pretend we're friends" "Where?" " Ximen" " Ling" " Hello." "Have a sit" " Hello." "Have a sit" "Oh god, Ling" "Why are you eating such a plain bun?" "Fleur" "Yes" "Bring Ling our leftovers" "Okay" "But I thought that was for the dogs?" "No, that's not quite right" "Our dog eats too well" "Now he's like a pig" "We should feed him buns instead" "I'm not mocking you, Ling" "I can tell the difference" "That's perfect" "He doesn't like eating our leftovers" "I don't mind" " Throw it away" " Alright" "I said throw it away" "Your signature right there please, Mr. Zhou" "You're spending quite a lot of my sponsorship" "Why do you need so much on promotion?" "Listen up" "The story of Yangtze River, brought to you by Treasure Trove" "Doesn't that sound grand?" "Yeah right" "You are our only sponsorship, of course it sounds grand" "Look, she is just a little girl" "She's just playing with you Mr. Zhou" "But as a promoter" "One does need to be playful" "I'm not so interested in promoting Treasure Trove itself" "As promoting my high-quality jades and precious stones" "They look pretty standard to me" "The one I have is better than any of those" "Wow not bad" "Why don't you sell it to me silly girl?" "You silly man, I bet you're not a good guy" "She has mental problems, she knows nothing" "Don't mind her" "I never really wanted to sponsor you" "I don't mind her, but I mind you" "How dare you come and mess around with me?" " Shoo, go away" " Mr..." "Mr. Zhou" "Chief" "Call me San Niang" "San Niang, you certainly have a sense of humour" "I've been captured, how can I take you with me and leave?" "I'll release you" "Then you can take me with you" "Thank you for your kindness, Chief" "If I find the Princess I will definitely come back to thank you" "Easy, daylight makes travelling much easier" "What do you mean?" "Let's chat for a while" "Cheers" "I was 14 when I met my boyfriend" "I was very poor back then" "He said I'd never be hungry again if I stay with him" "So I followed him and became a thief" "To save his buddies" "He got into a fight with the police and got seriously injured" "Before he died" "He asked me to take good care of his buddies" "Why's that?" "Why did he leave without a word for me?" "I'd been with him for 14 years" "Why didn't he leave a word for me with his last breath?" "Stop!" "Are you trying to run away?" "You said you'd release me" "Bullshit." "Why on earth would I release you?" "Ridiculous!" "Treat me like a fool?" "Boys" "He said a lot of people would come for his stories" "In fact there is not one single person" "He kept saying how profound he is, but he's nothing" "You said you don't rememeber a thing" "How come you remember everything I said?" "I have amnesia but I'm not an idiot" "Even a retard can tell" "This place got nothing but broken roof and windows" "You can't live in this awful place" "And if your business was doing so well" "You would have moved out to the city" "You won't stay here for sure, right?" "I didn't lie" "I only spoke of my dreams" "Do you have to accused of someone who have dreams?" "What's that burning smell?" "Oh god!" "I couldn't end my life when I met you" "Now I have no clients or sponsors" "And even my last grains of rice have been burnt" "What do you want?" "I want to eat chicken, do you have any?" "I want one" "I want one plump, big, fatty chicken" "A plump, big, fatty chicken" "It's a tough decision, Deal" "Give me the chicken first" "Right away" "You..." "You're back" "Where did you get the chicken?" "I traded it with my Jade" "You said you want to eat chicken" "You use that fine piece of jade to ex.change one chicken?" "It was a good deal, wasn't it?" "Come on, eat up" "Tuck in" "Thank you" "In the middle of no where, a country calls Far Far Away" "Where there are no people, no water, nor farmland" "Neither gold nor silver, nothing at all" "People got nothing to eat but human brains" "That's entertaining, let me drop it down" "The people there..." "Wait..." "Ling is telling a story over there" "It's really scary." "Someone's even fainted" ""Bury in the heavens"means to put a woman" "On top of a mountain, totally exposed to nature" "Where her flesh will be pecked at by eagles" "Peck, peck, peck..." "Two immoral people make one slutty whore..." "Where's everybody?" "Save the slut to yourself" "Bring over this person" "So that her head appears" "And the hammer drops with s single strike" "That's spectacular..." "Look, there's lots of money" "You must be a genius to think of such a horror story!" "What's your story tomorrow?" "I can't believe she asked me back" "We'll have a good meal first" "You go straight to bed after that and I'll come up with something" "He said he'd think of something if I went to bed early" "This is where we are right now" "We'll cross the river" "Obscuring ourselves around the forest" "Then attack from both sides" "We'll catch them off guard" "Let's do it according to your plan" "Our fate is in your hands, including mine" "Thanks for trusting me." "My life is no longer a concern" "Stop" "Stay alert" "Attack!" "Are you okay?" "I've been injured" "How is it?" "It hurts a lot" "Let me help you" "Be careful" "Yeah!" "We won!" "Are you alright?" "Thank goodness I got you" "Well done" "Capture Wingold" "Yes" "Thank you General" "Cheers Brothers" "Now that I'm wearing this wedding gown" "Do I look like your Princess Yan?" "The wedding gown is indeed Princess Yan's" "I'm asking you, do I look like her?" "The gown belongs to Princess Yan" "Now that I have snatched it" "It is mine!" "Even if you're wearing it, you're still not a princess" "Especially it's a torn gown" "So I can never be a princess?" "Not even once?" "I want you to treat me however you treat the princess" "Please, just once" "Every woman wants to... be treated like a princess" "I never have that experience before" "Just one time" "You're drunk" "Chief, I have kept my promise" "I come to say farewell" "I'm breaking my deal." "You will stay" "Then you can kill me" "What do you want?" "What do you want to do?" "You keep shifting your thoughts" "Do you actually know what you want?" "Leave right now" "Then I will take my leave" "Before you go" "Call me San Niang one last time" "San Niang" "Be gentle" "San..." "Niang..." "San..." "Niang..." "Thank you" "Cheng Qin" "You're not trying to break your promise, are you?" "Take me with you." "I'm not drunk this time" "I don't want to spend the rest of my life here" "I want a life of my own" "I'll come with you to look for the Princess" "Why?" "I know this place" "I can be your guide" "Thank you San Niang" "Promise me one thing though" "If you can't find the Princess" "Could you travel around the world with me?" "Chief..." "Chief..." "I will miss you boys" "Even though you're all dumb and illiterate" "After the battle with Wingold" "I'm sure you'll all be fine" "We'll take good care of ourselves" "K..eep the Chief's sword safe with you" "Don't worry Chief" "Let's go" "K..eep it up" "I'm fine" "We're here at last" "Let's have a roast today" "And a buffet tomorrow" "Celebrate each and every day" "End of the advertisement" "We did so well today" "We have two chickens, vegetables and meat" "Don't forget the fish" "The chicken inside, and the guy is still outside" "You are the guy or the chicken?" "The guy" "Isn't it the time to cook?" " Cooking?" " Sure" "I feel so blessed" "I'm so full that my belly's about to burst" "You're blessed already?" "R.each for the stars!" "If I win this year's storytelling competition" "And gain fame and fortune" "We can move into a big house in the city" "Behave yourself Sir" "I can't imagine what you will do when you see a beauty" "Where did you get this jade?" "Did a girl give it to you?" "None of your business" "I'm a bandit, remember." "The Jade belongs to you, let's go" "Mayor, Ling and Lucky want to apply for the competition" "You're the renowned storyteller Ling" "Sign here, come" "Use this, it took me the while night to make it" "I must make good use of this pen" "To write a magnificent story and win this competition" "Higher" " So high..." " It's because you're tall" "Your Highness" "At last, I've found you" "Let go of me, who are you?" "I'm General Cheng who accompanied you to the West" " Don't you remember?" " Let go" "Stop messing around or I'll call the police" "Move" " Ling" " Princess" "I'm not a princess, my name is Lucky" "You're the Princess" "Tell him to let go" "I order you to let go" "Yes, Your Highness" " Are you alright?" " Well" "Let's go" "Tell him not to follow us" "I order you not to chase us" "Let's go" "Hey, you're not allowed to chase" "But she didn't say you're not allowed to trail behind" "Right, thanks San Niang" "I'm a bandit, remember" "The Princess looks pretty common in commoner's clothes" "I think you've dirtied yourself" "Thank you" "Apologies for interrupting" "Mr. Ling" "Could you give me a chance?" "I have failed to protect you, Your Highness" "Enough!" "I'm not a princess, I'm Lucky" "And I'm happy right now" "You went through an accident, that's why you have amnesia" "Do you remember our tokens of love?" "That jade is mine" "It originally belonged to me" "The Emperor gave you this pearl as the dowry" "We made wishes on the hill" "We pretended to get married" "We kissed and fell in love" "In a way that the heavens" "Nor our families would allow" "He..." "He kissed me" "It's alright" "Yan" "How could you forget me?" "It's all your fault" "You made all the three of us unhappy" "There is only one solution" "I'll kill you" " Calm down" " No" "Kill me" "You said you'd come with me to find the Princess" "Now we have, you can leave" "She's not the Princess, she's Lucky" "She doesn't even know you" "The Princess you're looking for no longer exists." "Just give up" "I don't care if she knows me" "She's always my princess" "One final question" "Have you ever thought" "That you'd come travel around with me if you didn't find her?" "No" "That hurts" "Do you recognise me now?" "Thank you for saving us" "Otherwise Ling and I may have died" "You should thank him, Ling" "Thank you" "Are you alright?" "My head hurts" "You have no chance with the Princess even if she won't come with me" "We wanted to change her fate" "But it turns that our fates have changed" "And we can do nothing about her" "Ling" "Would you please let go?" "You're back" "Are you alright?" "Hey look" "I've prepared your clothes for tonight's competition." "It's really pretty" "Your Highness, it's time for you to go" "What are you doing?" "I told you I'm not the Princess" "Why don't we rehearse tonight's story?" "You are Princess Yan of the royal family" "You were on your way to Far Far Away to become a queen" "You'll be served by the others" "And a good life awaits" "Go." "Lucky is just a doggie I had" "I'm not leaving" "I have no where else to go" "Look how happy we are now" "Our lives are getting better" "You said we can move into the city" "After you win the storytelling competition" "And hire maids for me." "Do you remember?" "What's wrong with you?" "Every woman in the world wants to be a princess" "I'm Lucky" "I just leant how to be Lucky" "I just leant how to clean, slaughter chickens" "How to cook" "And be your assistant" "I didn't know who I was before" "You said I was Lucky" "And now I'm not" "What am I best at?" "I'm best at lying" "I'm no talented storyteller." "I'm nothing" "You think I'm in my"performing state of mind"" "When I'm talking to myself all day?" "I'm just so broke I've gone crazy!" "I'm not a princess" "Don't make me this princess" "And marry me off to the West" "Did you say that Western people eat human brains?" "And bullying women too" "Then why are you making me go there?" "Those were just things you said in your sleep" "There's a guy who's a head taller than me" "Plus ten times more handsome" "And you'd rather believe a midget like me?" "Aren't you afraid that he's cheating me?" "I'm only a guy who tells stories on the side of the street" "No woman would want me." "There's no point in you staying" "I'm not going to waste my breath" "Leave!" "I said go away!" "No!" "Don't kick me out!" "I don't want to see you anymore" "I want to be Lucky" "Go away..." "I don't want Lucky anymore." "Go" "I am Lucky, please don't kick me out" "The finals in the storytelling competition" "They are Ling and Lucky" "They must be getting into character" "Let's cheer them on" "I, Ling" "No longer have any story to tell" " You're kidding." " What's going on?" "I know you don't want me anymore" "But let me help you... finish telling this story" "And fulfil your dream before I leave?" "This story" "Is about a man" "And a dog that appeared on his doorstep" "No, not a dog" "Right, it should be a beautiful woman who appeared" "One who doesn't know how to do any chores" "The Emperor's word is arriving" "Behold" "Wow, such good acting" "They even made up an imperial edict" "You fool!" "It's indeed an imperial edict" "Be serious everyone" "Be quiet" "This is a message for Princess Yan and General Cheng" "I have been sent by the Emperor to speak on his behalf" "Princess Yan encountered bandits on her journey to get married" "General Cheng shall compensate his fault" "By continuing the journey to Far Far Away" "Let there be no delay or losses." "That's all" "Sir Zhang" "The Princess fell down the mountain" "And lost her memory" "How did that happen?" "May I speak to her first?" "Hurry" "The Princess still has to sumbit to her fate no matter what" "It's enough that only I remember" "What happened between us" "The Princess and I" "Ex.changed the Jade and the Pearl as tokens of love" "Now the items are returned to the owners" "We can act like none of it ever happened" "Since she no longer has feelings" "The Jade and the Pearl lost their meanings" "San Niang" "I'm afraid they might evoke memories" "Let me destroy them for you" "No" "I remember the wish I made under the shooting star" "Is that all General's wishes would come true" "My wish at the time" "Is that all Princess's wishes would come true" "Sorry" "But thank you" "Thank you for giving me Lucky" "Apologies for the tardiness, Your Highness" "From then on, the Princess has vanished from my life" "The General and the Princess continued their journey" "They pasted through deserts and plains" "And reach the border of Far Far Away at last" "The lovers knew that they were soon to part" "General" "What are you doing?" "General, why don't you elope with the Princess?" "Do you know the consequence of eloping?" "Yes." "Happiness" "Being able to be with the one you love" "And live happily ever after" "The Emperor will go after us" "Father once said" "That fate looks down upon those who give in" "And I won't give in" "I" "Will never elope with the Princess" "Even if I were to risk being beheaded" "I'll request the Emperor to grant us marriage" "That's great, General!" "The General and the Princess chose to go back and ask for The Emperor's mercy" "The Emperor was moved by their love" "And decided to grant them marriage" "The General and the Princess live happily ever after" "Like a match made in heaven" "Are they really as happy as you depict?" "To believe is a form of happiness" "Everyone has a story of his own" "The content maybe the same, but the version differs" "I'm not a princess, but I remember a moment" "When a man made me feel like one" "Just a brief moment and that will suffice" "English Subtitles Dan4Jem, MMX"