"Guess who turned out to be completely unworthy of our trust." "Why?" "What's happened?" "He's been hiding something very... interesting from us all." "Are you serious?" "I am almost 3000 years old." "Eric, get her out of here, please." "Eric, what are you doing?" "I wouldn't let go of this if I were you." "I don't know what it is, but I do know it's quite valuable." "Eric, what the fuck?" "I've not had the pleasure of tasting it, but all my instincts say it would be quite extraordinary." "I will never, ever forgive you for this." "It thinks we're equals." "But it's wrong." " Isn't it?" " Indeed." "Do you care nothing about our home?" " Talbot, not now." " When?" "What are you going to do with our Mr. Compton, if I may ask?" "Marco, Klaus, take Mr. Compton to the slave quarters." "There, my dear, you will kill him." " But what's...?" " Do not defy me!" "I am your king!" "Your Majesty." "Take Miss Stackhouse into the library, Eric." "I wanna ask her a few questions after I repair the state of affairs of my marriage." "Bill, I will get you out of here." "You save her, I beg you." "If you do kill him..." "I will kill you." "Please." "Please try." "Without that sanctimonious little prick, Godric, to save you," "I would just love to rip you open and wear your rib cage as a hat." "Please tell me you were just doing that for the king's benefit." "I don't think anyone plays the king of Mississippi and gets away with it." "I certainly have no intentions of trying." "Why are you even here?" "You had other things to deal with." "I do, and I need to think." "So please don't take this the wrong way, but shut up." "Eric, please, I'm begging you..." "What is your... vegetable of the day?" "That would be the peas." "How are those prepared?" "Those are dumped out of a can into a big pot and heated up." "Where do you think you are, lady, Red Lobster?" "I am paying good money to eat here." "You wanna keep any of that cheap dyed hair you better stop mouthing off to me." "Tap the titty." "That sucked." "And not in a good way." " Lafayette, I got an order." " What?" "Sam and Tommy already done gone." "Ain't we closed yet?" "Curlers over there wants the chicken fried steak, extra gravy on the side, extra mash, no veggies." " Hell, no." " You want me to help?" "Can you cook?" "I can do a lot of things." "Oh, Lordy." ""And I want a freshly cut lemon in my iced tea," "" not some dried-out thing that's been sitting around all day."" "Dagnabbit." "Look what I just did." "I got lemon juice on it too." "Sorry." "Arlene, sometimes it just happens." "Please don't kill me." "I'm pregnant." "That probably just makes you wanna eat me even more." "This is why people hate y'all." "I just haven't eaten in days." "I love how warm you are." "I feel like I'm on fire." "Me too." "That's because we are... on fire." "I ain't no virgin." "Me neither." "But you make me feel like one." "Not me." "You make me feel like 110 percent woman." "Don't hurt me." "Or do." "I don't care." "What the hell's that supposed to mean?" "I ain't into any pervert stuff." "What?" "I didn't mean it like that." "Then what in blazes was it you did mean?" "I meant..." "Don't break my heart." "What did I say?" "This ain't right." "It ain't" "I wanted to just get a taste of something" "I could remember forever, but..." "Goddamn it, I ain't gonna let you see me cry." "There's no reason for you to cry." "Not when you're with me." "I'll take care of you." "I gotta go." "Keep it down." " I ain't letting you go." " Ain't nobody owns me." "When am I gonna see you again?" "Never." "This can't happen." "It's too dangerous." "Dangerous?" "Why?" "Just forget me, for both our sakes." "So all that stuff about caring about me, that was just crap?" "I never said I cared about you." "Maybe you dreamt it." "You big phony." "Big hat, no cattle." "Do you mind?" "I'm trying to think here." "I thought you said my life was too valuable to throw away." "You are valuable, that's very clear." "I'm just not sure why." ""I'm risking everything, because you mean so much to me." ""You make me feel almost human."" "You mean nothing to me, understand?" "Nothing." "I'm close to getting something I've wanted since I was still human." "Do not get in my way." "I hate your fucking guts, Eric Northman." "I promise I will pay you back for this." "Sorry to have kept you waiting." "A husband's work is never done." " Leave us." " As you wish." "Now, tell me what you are." "I'm a waitress." "Yes, and I am Marie of Romania." "I'm a very patient man, Miss Stackhouse." "One can afford to be when one is immortal." "But my patience is not without limits." "God, I hate leaving the kids with Terry this long." "He's always so frazzled when I get home." "Where's Lafayette?" "He and that Jesus guy left." "Said to tell you to lock up before you leave." "But just so you know, this necklace is pure silver, and I take garlic supplements too." "Just because my fangs popped out, doesn't mean I'm gonna use 'em on you." "I just wish this awful night was over." "You know every single one of my customers stiffed me?" "Let me take care of her for you." "Don't kill her or anything." "Excuse me, ma'am?" "You're not hungry anymore." "I want you take all the money you have and leave it on the table then head to the ladies', alrighty?" "She'll be gone soon." "You okay in there?" "Ma'am?" "Thank you so much." "You are the best waitress I've ever had." "Not such a bad night after all, huh?" "You got a nice tip and nobody got killed." "See you tomorrow." "No fucking way." "So what?" "I was born here." "You never wanted to leave?" "Ever since the day I was born." "I've been places, I just never stayed." "I've always come back here." "You're not done with this place." "Feels like it's not done with me." "So where you from?" " I was born in Catemaco." " Catemaco." "But mi mami dragged me all over the fucking globe." "Texas, Uruguay..." "Portugal, you name it." "Montreal." "No papi?" "No, I've got one." "It's just nobody knows who he is." "Mami was raped." "Get the fuck out." "Makes all those jokes your mom cracks about me raping her that much funnier." "Maybe I was wrong about you." "Maybe I actually can relate to you." "Why would you think that you couldn't?" "Does term "Satan in a Sunday hat" mean anything to you?" "Bitch, my name is Jesus, bro." "I am the polar opposite of Satan." "You'd better be." "Can I kiss you?" "Fuck me." "I shouldn't have asked." "I should have done it." "I have a rule, though." "No sex on the first date." "Sometimes I have a hard time keeping that rule." "I think we should follow that rule." " Give us somewhere to go." " Yeah, right." "Unless..." "Because I'm feeling something all kind of intense with you." " Are you?" " Yeah." "I'm not sure I should trust it." "I'm getting kind of hard just looking at you." "Damn." "Isn't it warm out for a fire?" "I suppose it is." "I love a good fire." "There's something primal about it." "Always makes things more dramatic." "Now... it's time for you to answer my questions." "Fine." "I have some questions for you too." "Honey." "There's a fine line between feisty and delusional." "You're not really in any position to bargain." " You don't know that." " Now it's getting interesting." "So I'll answer one of your questions and you'll answer one of mine?" "Who goes first?" "Are you the king of all vampires?" "Heavens no, my dear girl." "I am merely the king of Mississippi." " Do you have a crown?" " I have several." "That's two questions." "My turn." "What are you?" "You're definitely not human." " My parents were human." " How do you know?" "And how do you know they were your parents, for that matter?" "My grandfather was like me." "Which is?" "I can hear people's thoughts." "And shifters', werewolves'." "Not vampires'." "How dreadful that must be." "Oh, you have no idea." "Who cares what anyone else is thinking?" "My turn." "Is Lorena gonna kill Bill?" "If she knows what's good for her." "But she'll take her time." "He's been her drug of choice for centuries now." "She's gonna have a hard time letting go." "Please." "You can stop her." "Why would you want me to?" "Are you aware that your noble Mr. Compton... has been keeping a secret file on you?" "On your family?" " What the...?" " My turn." "What are you besides a telepath?" "And what on Earth makes that light come out of your hands?" "Don't make me force it out of you." "I don't know." "I never even knew I could do it until recently, and I don't know what I am." "Maybe I'm an alien." "All I know is it's something big, so if I were you I wouldn't hurt me or anyone I care about." " Are there other powers?" " It's my turn." "Are there other powers?" "Once I threw a chain at somebody and it wrapped around his neck by itself, like that face-crab thing from Alien." "That's all." "No wonder the queen is so... fascinated by you." "There's a queen?" "Sweetheart." "You really don't know anything at all, do you?" "I do miss the 1930s." "Such style, elegance." "People knew how to behave, and what was expected of them." "They knew how to avoid creating tragedies, for the people they loved." "I may not be able to make you feel... anything for me, but..." "I will make you feel." "You have always so enjoyed making others suffer." "And there's nothing wrong with that." "Especially having been made to suffer... as I have been." "You haven't suffered at the hands of others for a very long time." "I am suffering now." "Please, do it quickly." "Even as you face the true death..." "I will be inside you." "Not Sookie, me." "I wish I had known you before you were made, before you turned hard." "I would've liked to have seen you smile, with light in your eyes... instead of darkness." "That... would have been something." "I have no choice." "Where you been?" "Tara, I will not be policed." "Of course not." "I'm not pol..." "I just really missed you, Franklin." "Couldn't wait for you to get back." "Really?" "It's hard to believe." "You haven't even noticed that I've shaved." "I wanted to..." "I wanted to look nice for you." "It's our wedding night tomorrow." "By the way, your friend Sookie, she's been brought here." "What is Russell gonna do to her?" "So that means my work for Russell is officially over, which means you've got me... all to yourself." "Don't promise me something you can't deliver, now." "Untie me." "Two hands are better than none." "Why, you wicked little strumpet." "I'm gonna drink your blood tomorrow night." " Oh, yes, you are." " I want it now." "I wanna experience being high on you, while making love to you." "Knowing it's my last act as human," "I wanna have the most amazing sex any human can have, before I give myself to you..." "Kinky." "Fucked up." "Crazy." " I'll go there." " I bet you will." " Will you?" " Bring it." "Bite me." "Bite into my flesh, taste my blood, my sinew, my bones." "Open me up." "Taste me, drink me, feed on me." "You don't have to ask me twice." "Fuck, yeah!" "Kill me." "Kill me hard." "Kill me." "Wait a minute." "That's not how you play Kaiserspiel." "Kaiserspiel?" "We're playing Karnoffel." "I'm sorry." "I haven't played this game in centuries." "Russell taught me this game when I was still human." "How long have you been together?" "Just shy of 700 years." "Although sometimes it feels like 7 million." "Well, I hope he knows just how lucky he is." "Believe me..." " he knows." " Get your hands off me!" " Carlo!" "Take this." " Let go of me." " And have Timothy bring the car around." " Let me go!" " Where are you going?" " I have business." " Again?" " Yes." "Save Bill!" "Would you accompany me this evening?" " It would be an honor." " You never take me anywhere." "Because you prefer to be in the company of sycophants." "Deep down, my darling, you're a very weak character." "He's in one of his moods." "Never mind." "We have much more pressing matters at hand." "We're gonna see an old friend of yours." "Get your creepy hands off me!" "I have powers!" "I'll use them, I will!" "Don't worry, Sookie, I'm gonna get you out." "Wait until the sun comes up." "I'll find you." "Be ready." "Because we're gonna need all the luck in the world, but I'm gonna get us out of here." "I'm not giving up without a fight." "You have no idea what awaits you on the other side, my beautiful bride." "No more pain." "No more fear." "No more rules." "Tell me, Eric..." " May I call you Eric?" " Certainly." "What exactly is your relationship with Miss Stackhouse?" "Well, her lover, Bill Compton, is..." "Was a constituent of mine." "I'd keep an eye on that because she was of interest to my queen." "So, no personal attachments?" "I do not get attached to humans." "Still, you have to admit, she is quite delectable." "My tastes lie elsewhere." "Lorena thinks you killed one of my werewolves." "I killed a werewolf." "I was not aware it belonged to you." "To save Sookie?" "To save myself." "I wanted to question her regarding Bill's disappearance, and it attacked me." "Only a very young and very foolish vampire could be killed by a werewolf." "You are neither." "Only a vampire with no self-respect would save this werewolf." "They are primitive creatures, and I will freely admit that I despise them." "You're the first vampire I met who didn't feel the same way." "Of course I do." "They're more dog than man." "Stupider than dogs, actually." "But it seems beneficial to me... to use them, rather than destroy them." "How exactly do you use them?" "I give them the blood." "Come, now." "I know that you yourself have been dealing, so don't pretend to be a vampire fundamentalist." "If all the supernaturals would stop squabbling among themselves and unite, we could conquer humans in a matter of days." " This is your plan?" " I prefer to call it my dream." "Well, I like this dream." "Throughout history, I have aligned myself with or destroyed those humans in power, hoping to make a dent in mankind's race to oblivion." "What other creature actively destroys its own habitat?" "You're preaching to the choir." "I mean, do you remember how the air used to smell?" "How humans used to smell?" "How they used to taste?" "I remember everything." "Preening little fool that he was, Adolf was right about one thing." "There is a master race." "It's just not the human race." "Should we have taken the I-12 exit?" "We're not going to Shreveport." "Don't worry." "We'll deal with your Magister problem in time." "Well, this is my... humble abode." "It's amazing." "You think so?" "And that..." "That is beautiful." "That's my girl." "Tonantzin." "No, that's the Virgin Mary." "But it's also..." "Eleggua and Chango." "These guys are pretty fucking hard-core." "What do you offer them?" "Lafayette, man, these guys, they have to be appeased, bro, or else they will fuck you up." "Seriously," "I sing for Eleggua." "I put out shots of tequila for Chango." "He drink 'em?" "Smart-ass." "He blesses 'em, and then I drink them." "Well, maybe I should put out a couple of shots for him right now." "Or... we could offer him something else." "Evening, faggot." "Bitch." "First your fucking non-American car, faggot." "We gonna fuck you up, cocksucker." "Yeah, fucker." " Shit." " Last time you fuck with me." " Dumb-ass hillbilly." " Shit." "Make no mistake, cracker." "You're gonna get my fucking ride fixed." "How am I supposed..." "Ain't my fucking problem." "Why don't you just sell all that shit I dropped by your house last night?" "I ain't selling no vampire blood." "It's evil." "And crystal meth ain't?" "Calm down, man." "You got him." "Get the fuck out of here." "Go tell your mama two faggots whupped your ass, bitch!" "Come on." "Are you a drug dealer?" "And V?" "Man, that shit's so intense, it ruins most people's lives." "You know what, man?" "Just take me back to my car." "Whatever you want, bitch." "Ludis!" "Another hundred dollars." "Hadley, Ludis, go down to the Circle K." "Get me a couple hundred more Deuces Wild tickets." "Mama's feeling lucky tonight." "Mama couldn't be more wrong." " You killed my guards." " Only a handful." "The rest were surprisingly unwilling to die for you and have defected." "Hadley?" "Your human is safe." "I'm not here to needlessly slaughter." " What do you want?" " You, my darling Sophie Anne." "I want you... to accept my proposal of marriage." "I've turned you down countless times." "Why would I accept now?" "Because in addition to never touching you," "I will settle all your debts." "Come on." "The Magister will eventually determine it was you who was selling our blood." "I've already pinned it on Eric Northman." "Is that really all you've got?" "There's the IRS." "The American Vampire League will let them put you in prison, make an example of you, assuage the right wing's fears about vampires running Wall Street." "They have no dominion over me." "I'm a queen." "I have known some of the finest queens who've ever lived." "You, my dear girl," "are no queen." "Go fuck yourself." "Sweetheart, you go fuck yourself." "I am older and stronger than you." "I only submitted to you in the past because of respect." "But you framed me." "So I renounce any and all allegiance to you." "I am his now." "I refuse to grant you..." "I will rip your head off and throw it in the pool." "And I will have fun doing it." "Your call." "Very well, then." "So, yes or no?" "Goddamn it." "Splendid." "Sun will be up soon." "We'll spend the day here." "We'll stop by Fangtasia" " on our way back to Jackson." " As you wish." "I hope I didn't overstep any boundaries just now." "I quite enjoyed that." "It is my honor, and my duty," "my king." "I'll make sure your betrothed is properly restrained." "I want my Hadley!" "You should go to ground." "And not be with you when the life flows out of you?" "I cannot." "And what will you do then?" "Find another man that you deem honorable?" "So that you can turn him into a... violent, hateful thing like yourself, destroying whatever it was you loved about him to begin with?" "It's all my fault, isn't it?" "You never enjoyed killing those humans, writhing naked in their blood," "making love to me as the light died in their eyes." "I forced you to do all that." "You did not." "Be a man  and admit you liked it." "Just as you liked, enticing all those starving men with your flesh," "luring them into your maker's clutches so that he could murder them," "and defile their bodies in unspeakable ways as you watched." "I am not István." "Really?" "He made you his mirror, just as you tried to make me yours." "He is the reason that a girl, who once marveled in the beauty of all life," "now delights in... bringing pain and horror to every moment." "You never embraced our nature." "Your nature... was never mine." "I welcome death." "Because only then... will I be truly free of the disease... that is you." "Come on, Peaches." "We gotta get us some." "Sorry, ma'am." "We kind of thought you would've retired for the day." "Aren't you supposed to be patrolling the grounds?" "We was just gonna keep an eye on your prisoner for you, make sure he didn't get away." "Really?" "And I suppose feasting on his blood never crossed your minds." "It's my fault, ma'am." "I begged Coot to let me get some." "And I got a bone to pick with this asshole." "He jumped me last night, killed three of my wolves last week." "Come on." "Let us just have a little taste." "It's just going to waste all over the floor like that." "Of course." "Suck whatever's left right out of him." "Fuck, yeah!" "Drink directly from the source, right?" "This is for Louie, fanger." "And Darryl." "And Jimmy." "This is just 'cause I fucking feel like it." "You mind?" "I'm trying to eat here." "Come on, baby." "Let's turn this here dead man into a fucking raising." "That is simply not true." "You can't hypnotize away the facts, Miss Flanagan." "Ratification would send a bad message to our nation's children." "It would be tantamount to full-on government endorsement of deviant vampiric behavior." "The American people are too smart for this fear-mongering." " It's not fear-mongering." " Please." "We have all seen that leaked fundraising presentation which outlines an aggressive strategy that's designed to capitalize on fear and misinformation." "It's all a vast right-wing conspiracy." "It's no accident at claims of how we intend to prey on America's children..." "Thanks for letting me crash here last night." "You gonna tell me what's going on between you and Joe Lee?" "Why he came after you last night?" " You scared of him?" " I ain't scared of him." "I just hate him." "He's a drunk." "Gambles away any money we ever get." "Fuck him." "He's the one scarred you up?" " He wishes." " Don't lie to me." "I ain't lying." "He ain't never laid a hand on me." "He knows better." "Well, there's something messed up between you and him." "Now, you may not wanna talk about it, but we're gonna talk about it." "But I'll talk about it when I'm ready." "Fair enough, long as it's today." "Good morning." "I brought y'all a mess of my secret-recipe corn fritters fried in bacon grease." "You ain't had good till you've had these, Sam." "Thank you, Melinda." "When you gonna start calling me Mama?" "Soon as it starts to feel comfortable." "Well, you take your time, darling." "We got a lot of road to cover, you and me." "Can I have a little heart-to-heart with my youngest?" "It's okay." "I'll just take these fritters with me." "Put 'em on the lunch menu." "You wait and see." "Folks will be lining up for them." ""It's okay"?" "It's okay for your own mama to talk to you?" "He's looking out for me." "Wellho the hell's looking out for me and for Joe Lee?" "I don't give a shit of him." "Listen to me, little boy." "You wouldn't be here if it weren't for him." "I was ready to end my pregnancy 'cause it would take me off the circuit." "It was Joe Lee who said I ought to go ahead and have you, case you turned out to be a shifter like me." "What a saint." "He wanted to use me just like he'd been using you." "That man ain't never left me no matter what, and he could've." "You're the one that never left." "He ain't leaving because we're his goddamn meal ticket." "And what would we do without him?" "You ever think about that?" "My back's done shot from all the years I spent in the ring." "I ain't able to work now." "You wanna just leave me to rot in an alley somewhere?" "Course no, Mama." "I did it till I couldn't do it anymore, and now it's your turn." "It ain't right." "The world ain't right, you selfish little shit." "Without you, we ain't gonna survive." "We can't do it." " Yeah, but maybe with Sam's help..." " You can't trust Sam." "He may be blood, but he ain't family." "And he ain't never gonna be." "He looks down on us." "Thinks he's better than us." " Yeah, maybe he is." " Yeah, maybe the fuck he is." "But you think he's willing to take care of us over the long haul once he knows the truth?" "Me and Joe Lee's all you got, son, all you ever will have." "And in your bones, you know that to be true." "Fuck." "Who the hell are you?" "I'm here to see Crystal." "What for?" "That's between me and Crystal." "Is that so?" "All right." "Babe." "Somebody here to see you." "Who the hell are you?" "What?" "Crystal, it's me, Jason." "It's a joke?" "I ain't never laid eyes on you." "I don't know who put you up to this or why, but it's not funny." "And I'd appreciate it if you'd leave and my fiancé alone." " Fiancé?" " You heard the lady, asshole." "Why don't you get off our land before we kick you off?" "Yeah, dumb-ass." "What's taking so long?" "Bitch already said she ain't know you." "Sorry, ma'am." "Must have confused you with somebody else." "You showed him." "Whoever the hell he was." " That little blond girl isin there?" " What's it to you?" "Talbot's serving her blood for dinner, and she's only supposed to be eating almonds." " That's what it is to me." " Nobody told me about almonds." "If she ain't eating that, Talbot ain't gonna be happy." "If he ain't happy, Russell ain't happy." "If Russell ain't happy, you dogs ain't getting any vampire blood." "Now open up the goddamn door." "Great." "You fell asleep and let her escape?" " Come on." " What the hell are you doing?" "Killing vampires and saving your ass." "I'll fill you in later." "Now let's get the hell out of here." "Eggs over easy, sausage, white toast." "And he wants them eggs runny..." "I know what over easy mean, goddamn it." "Well, you're in a sorry mood today." "That's right, I am in a fucking sorry-ass mood." "You got a fucking problem with that?" "Have you seen Tommy?" "No, and I got two tables need busing." "Oh, and, Sam?" "I thought you had a no-pet policy on those apartments." "I do." "I see." "Unless it's your kinfolk?" "I don't appreciate you letting them have that dog when Coby and Lisa can't have a hamster." "What dog?" "That mean-ass looking pit bull that your mama and daddy brought out and piled into their van this morning." "Like you don't know." "I got kids, Sam." "I can't be having some killer dog..." "Damn, everybody's ignoring me today." "Goddamn it." "He's got werewolves patrolling the grounds by day." "But if we can get to one of his cars, hotwire..." "I've gotta find Bill." "What?" "He was covered in blood." "He was gonna let them kill me." "I ain't risking my life to save his dead ass, and neither should you." "He may not be dead, and they forced him to do that." "That's not who he is." "I am not leaving without him." "Then you're a fucking idiot." "Just find us a way out of here." " Thanks for getting here so fast." " What the hell's the goddamn emergency?" "Well, listen." "I need to know if there is any dogfighting in Renard Parish." "Hell, no." "We don't allow that." "What about nearby?" "I can't share official intra-parish intelligence with civilians." "Lives are at stake." "And speaking of, I already saved your sorry ass once, so you owe me." "I heard about some raids over in Union Parish recently, down towards the north end of Bernice." "Thanks, buddy." "Get the sheriff anything he wants for breakfast, on the house." "Where the hell'd you learn to drive, Sam Merlotte?" " Get out of the vehicle, please." " What?" "Get out of the fucking vehicle, boy." "Don't make me say it again." " You can't..." " Ma'am, nobody's talking to you." "I'm gonna give you one last chance to get out of the vehicle before I start to get mad." "What the fuck, dude?" "I'll tell you what the fuck!" "My God." "Ma'am, you wanna keep it quiet?" "Careful, that's my throwing arm." "You should have thought about that before you decided to engage in lewd behavior in public, which, in case you didn't know, is against the law." " You ain't no fucking cop, man." " Not yet." "But I'm gonna be one real soon." "And I got my eye on you." "I ain't doing nothing you never did yourself." "But here's the difference between you and me." "Something about you is wrong." "And when I find out what that is," "I'm gonna fuck you up good, boy." " You got it?" " I got it." "Fuck." "Good." "Now get the fuck out of here." "Fucking freak." "You got that right." " This is fucking intense." " This is how it's always gonna be." "Oh, God." "You taste like fucking life itself." "I would do anything for you." "Will you take me to 4-Ever Young and buy me anything I want?" "Better." "I'll steal it for you." "I love you, you fucking lunatic." "Not more than I love you, you hot bitch." "Hotter than hell." "Hottest bitch in town, and I fucking own you." "Trash." "Fuck." "Don't be afraid." "I'm not one of them, I swear." "I'm a good guy." " What do you want?" " I'm looking for Sookie Stackhouse." "You got a car?" "Please." "Say something." "Please, don't be dead." "Not after everything we've been through." "I won't let you go, I won't." "I'm gonna get you out of here." "I'm gonna make you well if it's the last thing I ever do." "Because I love you, and I am not about to let you go." "Isn't that heartwarming?" "This is all your fault."