"Ah, damn boy, just look at what you're doing!" "You see the place is falling apart, and you try to destroy it further." "Oh, these outsiders who just come to town to destroy everything!" "Oh, what a child!" "Let's dump him in the water!" "Leave him alone, bullies, leave him!" "Let him go!" "Quiet kids, please, calm down!" "LITTLE DRACULA" "Hey, kid, drop that stone!" "What do you want it for?" "This...it's...what's the word?" "To...to build my mom a house." "You can build it in wood." "Of course, the superstructure's going to be wood." "But the basement will be of stone, and the cornerstone has to be made of stone." "You can take it, but quit wasting my time." "But what's this?" "Is it a revolution?" "Police!" "But what's all this?" "No, my God!" "Oh, by the Virgin!" "Who was it?" "Ah...!" "Rogue, scoundrel!" "Now you'll see!" "Wait!" "Where are you going?" "Scoundrel, you won't make a fool out of me!" "Police, police!" "You're not going to make a fool of me." "Wait!" "Police!" "Look, this scoundrel is a criminal!" "He should be with Carlos Quintero right away." "You should take him to correctional, because this can't go on." "Imagine what would have happened if I'd not been here." "But, in this delinquent child, you see the face of the criminal, Don Luis!" "A terrible thing." "I saw it happen," "I heard a tremendous crash, and broken glass flying everywhere." "I thought there was another revolution!" "No, no!" "I don't understand anything." "All my imported wines were smashed!" "Later we'll do a damage assessment." "And if you're twisting the truth, I'll slam you in jail!" "Well, if you mean about the imported wines, the truth is," "You want me to tell you where they are?" "In the wine cellar!" "But don't think that this is anything illegal, no, sir!" "They're strictly legitimate, I pay taxes and everything, sir." "You're not going to think I'm a scoundrel, eh?" "You mean you're honest?" "I'm...well, honest, honest, honest, no, but honest, yes." "And what did he break them with?" "Do you know the stone buildings?" "Yes." "Well, similar, but with no pattern on." "Exaggerating again?" "Well, no, the truth is that it was not so... it was something..." "But keep in mind one thing, Eminence..." "Prosecutor!" "This is a violation...!" "Go sit down!" "Yes, sir." "Right now we'll draw up a report." "Officer, fetch the father or mother of the accused." "Yes, sir." "Allow me, sir." "When you can tomorrow, if you want, come by the store." "See the many discounts we have!" "I'll have a bottle there... that's like a gift from God!" "Sit down!" "Yes." "With pleasure." "Why did you do this?" "It's that man's fault that my grandpa's going to die." "Mom's also sick, but his liver's failing." "What, he also pesters your mom?" "No, but my mom's always worrying about my grandpa." "Explain it to me a little better." "Is your grandfather angry with this man?" "No, they're best buddies, man!" "So what's the problem?" "What do you mean, what's the problem?" "This man sells booze to Grandpa, and Grandpa just drinks and drinks." "Ah!" "I understand." "Look, he's in there!" "Take him to the jail for old folks!" "You know what the parrot says:" "don't close the door, I'm still outside." "That's good!" "Oh, I can't go in there!" "Don't you see what it says, "No entry for minors or people in uniform"?" "I'll have to go look for his mom." "Come on." "Mr Lawyer." "Don't interrupt me!" "Prosecutor." "Ok, but what I want is to get paid for the damage." "By God!" "When the parents or guardian of the accused arrive, we'll adjudicate the matter." "Sit down." "Okay, I'll take a seat, Mr Prosecutor." "Jaime!" "You take care of the dog." "Yes, ma'am." "I'll deal with the police." "What is it?" "Madam, I'm sorry to bother you." "I'm looking for Mrs. Juana Lopez Perez." "Juana...?" "Juana...?" "Ah, yes!" "She works here." "What do you want with her?" "She'll have to accompany me to the station." "Has she committed some terrible crime?" "No, not her, the problem is with one of her sons." "Ah, well!" "I'll summon her immediately." "Mister..." "I don't know how I'll do it, but..." "I'll pay anything to keep my boy out of reform school." "That's just what I want, to be paid!" "Fine, my shift ends in half an hour, and I'll personally go to your store to assess the damage." "I think it's perfect, Mr Prefect." "Prosecutor." "Jaime!" "You go give the dog some water." "I'll deal with Juanita." "What, again, ma'am?" "Ma'am, I came to ask a big favour." "As long as it's not money, since you can't be trusted with that." "Don't be mean!" "It's to keep my son out of jail." "Oh!" "But, are you crazy?" "First it was your husband, and now your son!" "Send them to the devil." "You should come here and work for me full time." "Here you'll have a home, food, everything." "Please, ma'am, I need 60,000 pesos." "Not a chance." "Go away with your problems, and when they've settled down, you come back to work." "No, ma'am!" "Ma'am, please!" "Please, don't lean on the car." "Can't you see I just waxed it?" "Who are you waiting for?" "Don Luis, he said he'll be here in a moment." "Tell me, Juanita, what are you doing here?" "Don Luis, I have a big problem, and I want to ask you a favour." "Leave us alone, I need to talk to Juanita." "Yes, sir." "What's wrong, woman?" "My son Carlitos, the eldest, believing that the wine shop is to blame for his grandfather's alcoholism, he chucked a stone through the display window." "That's marvelous!" "And tell me, how old is your son?" "Just ten." "But if I don't pay for the damage, they'll put him into reform school." "Well, how much is it?" "Just sixty thousand pesos, but I promise you, that if you lend it to me, I'll work hard to pay it back, and if you want I'll come clean your office every day." "I'm going to give it to you, and ask God to help us both." "For you, with your father, and me with the booze hound I have as a wife." "May God bless you, Don Luis!" "Hey, we're home!" "How nice it is that we're all together and very quiet!" "Right?" "Yes." "Grandpa's really nice when he's sober, isn't he?" "But why does he get so rude when he drinks?" "Because this happens with alcoholics." "Wine is like the devil, when it gets into your body, anything can happen to you." "But we'll make him better, right?" "I just wish it was possible!" "No, I'm going to cure him!" "You'll see, I really will!" "I hear you, I hear you." "Oh, my grandchildren!" "Come to grandpa!" "Frijolito, my little pigeon!" "Forgive me, but now I'm going to give up the bottle." "Now I'll give up the drinking!" "Yes." "And I'm dedicating myself to work." "Yes, so that they're proud of their grandpa." "Don't be ashamed of your grandpa, eh?" "No!" "Just who is ashamed of you, Grandpa?" "On the contrary, we're very proud to have the best carpenter in the world." "Oh, thank you, my Carlitos!" "What more do you want?" "You have a family that supports you and respects you." "Ah, my daughter!" "Really, forgive me, but I'm going to change." "I'll change!" "Yes." "Then I'll leave you with your grandsons." "I'm going to wash clothes." "Okay, girl." "God bless you." "That's my Frijolito!" "That's right." "Oh, son, we've walked a lot!" "Where are you taking me?" "It's a long walk to a new life, Grandpa." "No, I mean where are you taking me?" "Here we are Grandpa." "NEW LIFE GROUP." "ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS." "No, I don't believe in that stuff!" "No, you said I could take you where I want and I'm holding you to that." "Well, it's a pure waste of time." "I like to waste time." "Go ahead, Grandpa." "We'll see how it goes." "Can we come in?" "Welcome, friend." "Come have a seat." "And how nice that your son accompanies you." "This place ought to be always full of children and youth, so that they can see in us what can happen to them." "This lad reminds me of my children, my wife... but..." "I lost everything because of the damned alcohol." "It would be great for the youngster to talk." "His point of view is very significant." "We need someone to come and tell us the hard truth." "His point of view is very significant." "And what do I say?" "Whatever you wish." "About alcoholics." "Really?" "Sure." "Friends: first of all I have to clarify one thing." "My grandpa isn't an alcoholic, he's a pool addict." "Because he prefers pool to..." "Well, and moving on to something else, he says "like father like son", or in other words, I'm a would be, pool addict." "Because they say at school, it's synonymous with "cool", meaning you're a cool guy." "Fellow alcoholics, going on to something else," "I mean that we must take good care of our "pool man"." "Yes, but the lung where you breathe, (wordplay: pool-man / pulmón = lung) because when you drool like a baby, you need "Baby wipes"" "everything begins and your face turns white, and you have to add dog poop so the thing will ferment." "Mexican partners and alcoholics, I have spoken." "Forgive the joke." "My grandson has a way with words and when he sees me in the dumps, he says such things to lift my spirits." "The fact is, I've surely given him a bad life." "To him, and to my daughter, who's a widow." "My son also died of drink." "And I have three more grandchildren who need me at home." "But I swear..." "I'm going to reform!" "Oh, thank you, this calls for a celebration!" "Who wants to check out a bottle?" "Oh, no!" "No, no, no, no." "Oh, boy!" "Good thing you brought me here!" "This is a big deal, right?" "Yes." "But I have to make an effort." "And you have to keep on helping me with your joy and jokes." "Ah, then get started!" "Start healing yourself, everyone's on your side." "Ah, of course!" "And I'm going to do it, son." "That's great, son!" "We're home!" "And how did it go?" "Ah, daughter!" "You have a very smart boy, very clever." "All your grandchildren are intelligent and very clever." "Yes, some are clever and others fools, but we all eat." "How's it going, guys?" "It's great you're all here!" "Pass it, hand it over." "I'm in hard need of it, brother." "Okay, cheers." "Ma'am, your breakfast." "Oh!" "I've a headache I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy." "So try a little breakfast, it'll pick you up a bit." "Oh, at the moment it disgusts me!" "Control that disgust and eat." "You'll see, it'll bring you around." "Oh, no!" "Now I feel like something else." "Yes?" "What should I bring you?" "No, no, just take it away!" "Well, just the juice." "Oh, ma'am, you're starting so early!" "Oh!" "You go and... clean up." "Take it away." "Very well, as you wish, ma'am." "And as you know, John, you're in charge of these two." "Don't open the door to anyone and keep them away from the stove." "Go ahead." "If they give me any trouble, I'll execute them." "Don't execute anyone." "Just take care of them." "I'll be back soon." "Okay, guys, let's continue the dance class." "Miss, is the doctor in?" "Which doctor?" "There are many." "Well, who do you recommend?" "What illness do you have?" "Well, I'm not sick." "How about you?" "For me, the trouble is that I get very tired feet." "Well, that's very serious, you need to see a pediatrician." "Seriously." "Now, boy, get out of here, you're just talking nonsense." "You can't travel to other floors." "This area prohibits visiting by children." "MEN" "What floor?" "It doesn't matter as long as you don't step on the flowers." "First floor." "Who are the flowers for?" "They're for the lady who had the baby." "You can't get off here, those are the operating rooms." "That's what I'm looking for." "Didn't you say you're looking for the woman who had a baby?" "Yes, the lady who's in post-op!" "What's this?" "It's for you." "It's... it's from the lady you operated on yesterday." "The one with varicose veins, or the one with rheumatic fever?" "That's the one, the one with..." "And how was she when she woke up?" "Very romantic!" "And she sent me with these flowers." "She also asks if you can operate on my grandpa." "And what's wrong with your grandpa?" "He's an alcoholic." "An alcoholic?" "I can't help." "There's no operation for that." "Oh, no?" "So how's it cured?" "It's based on will power." "Or giving him a fright." "Is that so?" "Yes, the thing is that he realizes that he could die, and out of fear, he stops drinking." "Ah, of course!" "Why did you steal the flowers?" "What's wrong, Sandokan?" "(Sandokan = fictional pirate)" "Hand over my flowers." "What?" "Give you flowers!" "you're not that good looking, man!" "It's over, man!" "Go on, beat it!" "A big guy like you, why are you hitting him, man?" "Aren't you ashamed, he's so small?" "No more fighting here." "Hurry up children." "We still have these here!" "How greedy!" "Check it out, guys, there's the bloodsucker!" "Oh, if he sucks this kid's blood, he'll get drunk!" "What's up?" "You're not funny." "Since yesterday you've been stumbling around like a spinning top, man!" "It was Mom's birthday..." "Bah!" "Come on, guys, get out the dough, we're going in." "Shorty!" "What are you doing in these parts," "I haven't seen you around, Shorty?" "Oh, you've become so vain and discriminatory, Shorty!" "Look, Shorty, I'm going to tell you something, the first one before the second, because you're not supposed to know, and I'm not one to gossip." "But you know what "Shakespeare" said, don't you?" "Well, I don't know either because he said it in English, Shorty." "Ah!" "Right?" "Indeed, he made it hard for you, like the guy in "Nouveaute"!" "Hey, Shorty, I'll tell you something else." "There are moments in the life of the individual... that you aren't to know..." "But, why don't you leave there?" "And that's when you stop to think and say..." ""Oh, man, we don't deserve this!"" "And then someone says, "Why?"" "Ah!" "Right, Shorty?" "Shorty, I'll tell you one thing, You know." "And if you don't know, then ask." "See you around, Shorty." "Oh, Mommy!" "Aghh!" "Aghh!" "Again!" "Oh, Mommy!" "Zauludovsky!" "Look... that vampire wants to devour me!" "Please, Jacobito, save me!" "Help me, Jacobito!" "Yes, help me!" "Please, Jacobito!" "There he is, there he is!" "Do you want a drink?" "No, I don't drink." "And I like blood with alcohol!" "Oh, he likes blood with alcohol!" "He wants the blood of a widower." "Zauludovsky, tell everyone, I don't drink alcohol." "I'm not going to drink any more." "Oh, Mommy!" "Oh, no dragging me, man!" "This is human rights abuse!" "Well, you don't know who you're messing with!" "I'll make them fire you!" "You don't know who my uncle is!" "Who is your uncle?" "The brother of my dad." "What, where are we off to?" "Now, that's good!" "Hey, why did they take him?" "Because he hit some poor guy with a bottle." "Why have you come home all wet?" "Those loser boys soaked me again." "Mom, I've already fed the others." "Thank you, son, you're quite a man." "And you, why are you all wet?" "Hey, Mom, we have to go for tortillas, right?" "What?" "We have to go for tortillas, right?" "Yes, we're going." "Yes, but right now." "Oh yeah!" "Come on." "Let's go." "Yes, he's locked up, and I'm going to give him fifteen days." "God forgive me, but this way at least I'll know where he is for a while." "Hey, Mom, won't Grandpa drink in here then?" "I wish this jail was a sanatorium!" "That's the place he needs." "As for you!" "you'd better stay clean, because I don't want to see you here, eh?" "Anyway, thank you very much." "If you'll excuse me." "Have a nice day." "Ow!" "What is it, Mom?" "It is the same thing, but... recently it's been getting worse." "Is it your liver?" "It's always hurt me a lot, but I have so many problems..." "We're going to the free clinic." "No, no, wait, it'll ease off in a moment." "It scared me to hear about your Grandpa." "No, we're going to the doctor." "Come on, let's go." "Does it hurt much?" "Yes, doctor, plenty." "It's your liver." "It's very inflamed." "Yes, it's been bothering me for quite a while." "By the color of your skin and the whites of your eyes, I can diagnose hepatitis." "Hopefully, it's not infectious." "And is it very dangerous, doctor?" "Yes, very dangerous." "If not cared for, it can become cirrhosis, and that can't be cured." "Heal her, doctor!" "Heal her, please!" "Tell us what we have to do." "I'll prescribe some capsules, and a diet, but most of all..." "lots of rest." "Seriously..." "I want you not to work, and to stay in bed, without getting up." "Oh, Doctor, that'll be very difficult!" "No, it's no problem, doctor?" "I'll take responsibility for that." "Yes, I'll be responsible for that!" "She'll be well taken care of!" "Very well." "And whoever doesn't want to be orphaned will look after her too." "Right?" "We don't even let her sweep up, or do any other little thing, eh?" "Don't worry, he who won't obey me, I'll get even with." "You don't slug anybody, you just keep an eye on them." "Oh, son, now you're going to be the breadwinner of the house!" "Ah, okay!" "Well, I'm off now." "I'm going to training." "And what if she wants to pee?" "Ah no, let her do that." "Well, okay, I'm off." "Here you go, ma'am." "Thank you, Martita." "Ma'am, this kid wants to talk to you." "How could you leave the dog alone?" "Give him his vitamins." "Yes, ma'am." "I'll see to this youngster here." "I'm here to bring you warmest regards from my mom Juana." "Juana?" "Yes, Juanita." "Juanita is slacking off far too much." "Ah, yes, that's why I came to speak to you." "I'm to work in her stead." "You're not even good enough to retrieve a dog from a cornfield." "Why not?" "Once I worked for a lady who had many pigs!" "And what experience did you acquire there?" "Well, almost everything around the place." "The lady used to say:" ""Now, Carlitos, go see if the sow has already laid out."" "And I'd say, "Later, later."" "Ah, you're an awful errand boy, you don't have the skill!" "No, of course I have skill, and I know all the names for pigs." "Check it out: pork, pig, hog, swine, sow, Tacos al Pastor... all those!" "And what else did you learn?" "When dealing with piglets, the shoats, shout "down the slit", and they'll act like a piggy bank." "Seriously!" "I'm not persuaded." "You're a Communist." "Go on, beat it!" "Gosh, she's cuckoo!" "Come see the man who killed his wife for not feeding him." "For those who wake up with a taste of iron, a taste of bronze, here I bring this wonderful medicine." "With just three drops of this wonderful elixir, you'll forget all your diseases." "And now, the sensational, the magnificent..." "I present to you, and before your very eyes, one of the most dangerous reptiles from the jungles of Brazil, the little boa snake." "You'll see, it's very dangerous, but for this... in a moment I'll show it to you, but I need an assistant." "You, boy, youngster, innocent, since his hands haven't sinned he's the lucky one helping me today." "Come, young sir, please, you sit here in this chair." "You're the one chosen to show these people... the danger of this small Boa snake." "Just take it in your hands, please... it's very dangerous, very dangerous, please... take it very carefully." "Good!" "This small snake is known for the quality of its venom." "It's highly dangerous, and it's precisely why this small Mexican lad... in whom we've put all our confidence, for you to see the danger of the snake, while I show them to you and present the benefits of this wonderful elixir." "This wonderful elixir which I won't sell,... mind you, which I won't sell, but I'm going to give away." "I'm going to give it with love." "I'll just ask you to donate a hundred pesos." "A hundred pesos, nothing more." "Whoever wants this wonderful elixir will cure themselves of all their troubles, simply by contributing..." "You simply have to donate a hundred pesos." "A 100 pesos and it's yours." "100 pesos." "Here you are." "A hundred pesos!" "Who else?" "Everyone wants to be healthy." "Everyone wants to be well." "Here comes Santa Claus!" "Look, for you and the little ones!" "Mom, guess what?" "I'm working with a gentleman who's a showman." "Well, he's like a doctor." "No, he's like a magician." "Well, he's just lyrical." "Well, what did Dona Mari say to you?" "Well, Dona Mari is half crazy, right?" "She just spouted a load of nonsense, and so I had to put up with it." "Yes, she has a great husband, and a lot of money, and children, but... the lady also likes her drink." "Oh yeah?" "Well, I'm going to bring home even more money." "But eat something, son." "John made some eggs with some great sausage meat." "Oh, really?" "And I took care of Mom and didn't let her do anything." "Oh, good!" "Let's see." "Thanks, son, I feel much better." "Thanks, I'll eat this." "And now, child, expound to the lords and ladies who're visiting us this morning, what happened to your mom." "Well, my mom... ever since she was little she's been very sick, warts came out on her neck, and on her legs." "When she married, what happened?" "My mom thought they would stop, but the warts kept on coming." "And you were born." "Well, what then?" "So then my mom came by and bought one of these wonderful balms." "And what happened to the warts?" "The warts on her neck began to disappear and the same on her legs." "Now her blood's flowing properly." "Her blood flows without obstruction." "And then what happened?" "My dad came and saw us all huddled in bed." "Oh, and you already wrecked me!" "So, as I was saying, you heard about the benefits of this wonderful fluid." "Well, how good you came to me, boy!" "Because I'm going to give you a bottle of this wonderful liquid and cure you." "Let's have a look, such a mess!" "Look, these tonsils are covered with boils, you have a very pernicious anemia, and on top of that, your tongue is coated white." "Oh, come on, give me more!" "Don't see that I have to support my family?" "But what's wrong?" "That's just the salary for an assistant." "Ah, that's crazy, you took in more than 5000 pesos!" "Okay, but what's that to do with you, man?" "Besides, you let me down." "You forgot half your lines..." "Oh, and when you get drunk, you change the questions!" "Here, take it and go." "Don't come back tomorrow." "I'll get a more responsible helper than you." "Scram." "Nothing more than this?" "That's right, go on, beat it." "You're just an old thief!" "That's the last." "Are you done?" "Yeah." "Now I'm going to wash cars." "But beforehand, you can do me a favour." "Prove how macho you are, eh?" "Chase that guy loitering by the black car out of the garage for me." "He only comes here to scratch the cars." "No problem." "Hey, what are you doing here?" "Is that car your family's?" "It wish it was my family's." "And don't lean on it." "I'm here because I'm waiting for Don Luis." "Look, if you want to wait, wait outside." "Why so macho?" "What's the problem?" "Why?" "Because I want to." "But why are you letting them fight?" "They're just kids messing about." "I don't want fights or violence around here." "Hey, what's the story?" "What's it all about, boys?" "I'm here to wash cars but he's here to scratch them." "That's not true, sir, it's my first time here." "My mom Juanita sent me." "Juanita?" "Come on, kid, take a hike." "And how's your mom?" "Well, Mom's real sick, but I came to tell you that I'm going to pay the debt we owe you." "Just let me work, wait for me a little." "And your grandpa?" "Grandpa's in jail, but he'll be out soon." "So you're the man of the house?" "Yes, that's why I'm going to pay you back." "Very good, very good." "Look, do me a favour." "Take this to your mom." "No, wait, I already owe you a lot." "No, go ahead, take it, and tell her I want her to get well." "Thank you." "Give her my best wishes, eh?" "Hey, if you want more, let me know." "Shame on you, boy, he kicked your butt!" "He what?" "Kicked your butt!" "You'll see, we'll make it big." "What if we poison them?" "Don't be silly, it's just water sugar and food colouring!" "I already know my patter well." "You're the teacher, you answer." "How about rehearsing what we're going to say?" "Let's get started." "Which one do we start with?" "With the one about getting warts all over your body." "Well, little children, God bless." "Go on, but be back early." "Yes, don't worry, we'll be back by five, eh?" "And be warned, if you don't take care of Mom, you'll be having words with me." "Enough words for now, Dad!" "Let's go!" "Come on, boy, on your haunches, that's it." "The gentlefolk want to see you lay an egg like a chicken." "Thank you." "While the boy is left to concentrate," "You can acquire this wonderful cure-all balm." "Yes, this wonderful balm costs the ridiculous sum of just twenty pesos." "Come on, boy, how's it going?" "Fine!" "Okay, my dear little hen, we're going to show people here... that we're not kidding and you'll lay a white one." "Okay, just a little push... one little push and everything will come out like it should." "Okay, my little hen, one little push... and everything will come out like it should." "Push." "Here it comes." "That's it, push, push!" "Push." "And here's the egg!" "See the wonder, and it's still warm!" "Great!" "We did okay, right?" "For the first day, it was really cool." "Hey, can we get roast chicken for the guys and Mom?" "Sure, let's go and get it." "These are the ones who sold me the bottle." "Damned parasites!" "Hand over the cash!" "Don't cry, man, we'll make up for it tomorrow." "But what about the roast chicken?" "Oh, we'll get it tomorrow." "But don't say anything to Mom, eh?" "Because it'd just make her sicker." "He who tells is an asshole!" "Let's go, come along now." "Although I need to recover what they stole from me in medicines, we'll split it between the three of us, to show that I'm fair." "Come on, boy, tell me where is the Gulf of Mexico?" "I saw him a while ago, he was sunbathing like a lizard." "Oh!" "Come on, Come on!" "Come on, you idiot!" "Now you hit me for real!" "Well, that's what I wanted." "You're very stupid." "Quite an idiot!" "Oh, no doubt you're an imbecile!" "But I'll give you one last chance." "Yes, Master Canuto." "Okay, tell me where is the Pacific?" "He's shut up inside because he's afraid if he comes out a bully will slug him." "Come on, come on, idiot boy!" "Stop hitting me!" "Why are you such an idiot, How can I not hit you?" "Then run, but don't bother the young ladies,... because they've come to acquire this wonderful balm." "Yes, a cure-all!" "A cure for everything from dandruff to a fisheye." "Okay, for only the ridiculous price of twenty pesos." "Who'll take it?" "Who'll buy it?" "One to the lady over here?" "Sure." "Yes, money, money." "One little donation, and it's yours... that's it." "Okay, who'd like one." "For you?" "Certainly!" "Now we're going to go where there are plenty of people, so we don't get ambushed like yesterday." "Are we going to buy chicken today?" "Yes, but we'll buy it closer to home, even if it's more expensive." "These are the ones, Mom." "I saw them take the purse." "Damn kids!" "You stole my purse, but you're going to pay!" "Hand it over!" "And thank God I'm a good person, or you'd be off to reform school." "They've gone and robbed us again!" "Yes, but I see what this is all about, now." "Did it go okay?" "Sure, no problem." "Man, that's good." "Well, if I need you again, I'll let you know." "So what happened to the bottles?" "We left them with a lady of a restaurant." "So we wouldn't have to carry them around." "Well, may God bless you and may things go better." "Come, let's go." "Let's go." "So what are we going to sell now?" "For now we won't sell anything but they won't rob us either." "So what, then?" "You'll see, but I need to get a few things." "Oh, that way we won't earn much for the roast chicken!" "JULY'S BEAUTY PARLOUR" "Ma'am, the garbage truck's here already and he won't be back until Monday." "Oh, what a problem!" "But go on, there are two full bins." "I'll be right back for the other one." "But hurry, before the truck leaves!" "All set, Ma'am." "Thank you, son." "Here." "No, but you don't have to give so much." "Come on in, brother." "Okay, paint me." "But paint me with a great big mouth." "Remember when we went to the circus?" "Oh, you're going to be better than that rascal!" "Come on, don't talk so much and paint me now." "But don't let your hand shake, man." "Hey, my pavement isn't a rubbish bin!" "Rubbish?" "But what are you talking about, neighbour?" "What am I talking about?" "Don't play dumb." "That garbage is yours." "It's full of hair and makeup wrappers!" "Don't tell me it's not from here!" "I'm calling the police to file a report." "No, neighbor, wait!" "Wait, neighbour!" "No!" "Little clown, why are you crying?" "I lost my parents." "Oh, man, that's too bad!" "And how do you lose them?" "In a coin toss!" "Oh, instead of wasting your time here you should be in school!" "Yes, I'm already going, but I'm very angry." "Well, tell me why." "What do you mean why?" "They've already started sex education!" "I think it's great that all children can become aware of certain things." "Yes, but what upsets me is that they're not giving us any homework." "Mr. Policeman, can you take us home?" "Take you?" "Yes." "No." "I can't move from my post." "Come on, it's twice now that we've been robbed." "And we're scared." "Are you carrying a lot of money?" "No, just enough for a roast chicken." "No, come on, we just live around the corner." "Kids!" "Where do you think you're going?" "No, then, I mean...we're wrecked." "I don't like you working on my turf." "No, it's just... work, don't be mean, my mom's sick, and I have to bring food for the table." "Hey, as soon as things settle down I won't come back here." "Okay, to show you I'm nice," "I'll let you go on working here... but you'll have to give me half of what you make." "Sure, I don't mind paying my dues." "Okay!" "Yeah, yeah, sure!" "Quick, quick, Mr. Policeman, there's a crazy old man who's swimming in the fountain." "Duty calls." "What about the money for the chicken?" "The money for chicken?" "I've dropped the money!" "Let's look for it!" "How do you think we're gonna look?" "That idiot will grab the both of us!" "The tamales are already here, come on in." "We didn't order any tamales." "But I did, and I'm inviting you to lunch." "Come." "I've brought you two more guests." "Why not, Father." "Okay, my pet." "And here's your drink." "We should bring Mom and the little ones here." "Yes, we should." "Let's see if we can get some tamales to go." "They're really good!" "This is great!" "What, the tamale?" "No, this place." "Follow me." "Wait for me here." "I'll go get him now." "Oh, my grandchildren!" "Ok, but make it snappy, because you know children aren't allowed in here." "Yes, I'll just give them a hug and that's all." "Oh, sweetheart, how nice that you've come to see me!" "How's your mom and my other boys?" "Well, Mom's already a little better." "Oh, good!" "And I have the others under my thumb." "That's good!" "And forgive me." "I'm going to behave better." "Now I'm going to cut out the partying." "Once I get out of here," "I'm going to behave well, and work as God intended." "God's truth." "Look, Grandpa, we brought you a few tamales, and a drink." "Thanks!" "We stole them." "Okay, enough of the soap opera, or I'll start crying." "Come on." "Thank you, boys." "God bless you." "God bless you, son." "Go on, go with God." "Go with God." "And say hello to your mom, and the others!" "Hey, can we become altar boys?" "Yes, of course." "A true vocation should start your age." "Is that so?" "Yes, who knows whether in 20 years, you'll be a priest in this same church?" "No, no, not me." "I want to get married and have lots of kids." "We'll see, we'll see." "Let's see what God says." "Meanwhile, help me clean this robe, or at least air it a bit, eh?" "." "When you're done with that, give this a go, eh?" "Hey, this looks like a cape." "Yes, but it's a cassock." "It's pretty old, but it still serves." "Sure." "Hey, what about your brother?" "Right!" "I'd better find him before he gets up to some mischief." "John!" "John!" "John!" "John, come on, John!" "John!" "What's this?" "The bottom opened." "The bottom of what, opened?" "The collection box." "I just poked it, and it fell open." "Now what do we do?" "It's for Mom's chicken." "No way, what were you thinking?" "That's theft." "It may anger the Virgin." "Just ask her to lend it." "Madonna, you love me." "You know that we're in dire straits." "I also owe Don Luis, but I swear I'll pay you, I swear." "Hey, she said yes!" "Come on!" "Yummy!" "Yesterday you didn't stay to eat." "I just don't like being a burden." "What about your brother?" "No, I didn't bring him today, because he's hard to control, and has such weird ideas..." "You must be tolerant with him." "Everything is done in good faith." "He's an innocent." "Is that right?" "Sure." "Okay, let's carry on working." "Hey, kid." "Go take this to the dry cleaners." "It's a cassock that some wax fell on." "Okay, I'll be right back." "What's up, where's the cleaning guy?" "He didn't come today, so go on, piss off." "Grandma." "Granny!" "How are you?" "Here I am, like the tamale sellers, worn out, but still I go on." "Hey, Grandma, I bring many greetings from Grandpa, Mom, and my brothers." "Oh, Yeah... right, many greetings!" "And yet they don't come to see me, to see if I've already popped my clogs." "Oh, no, Grandma!" "It's just that Mom's a little sick." "And what about that good for nothing grandpa?" "Oh, him...!" "He'll return to carpentry, because on the 14th..." "They let him out today!" "Oh, you, you talk like he was a tied up dog!" "Hey, Grandma, I want to ask a favour." "I'll be there in a second." "What can I do for you, my love?" "Grandma... look, I'm going to be an alter boy, and I need you to make me a suit." "Oh!" "And with this fabric?" "Yes." "Oh!" "But it's so black?" "Well, in churches, they're all dressed in black." "Oh, you'll all look like vultures!" "But don't worry, look, I've got a piece of red here... and I'm going to put it on, and you'll see how nice it'll be!" "It should be here." "It's that building just over there." "Come on!" "This is heavier!" "Ah, the fact is you're already wrecked!" "Watch it now, watch it!" "It should be right here." "This is it." "I don't do it on purpose, girl!" "Look, your grandpa's already been released." "Oh, that's great, Grandpa!" "But you promised me you were going to behave yourself, eh?" "That's how things are, son," "I can't help myself, I think I'm ill." "I have a fever, right?" "Look, Frijolito, check it out, Melon." "So what happened?" "They kept me in a very cold place." "And then when I got here, the kids were having water fights, and they soaked me on my back." "I'm cold." "The main thing is that you're back home, Dad." "Tell your mom to give me an alcohol rub." "No, in this house there's no alcohol for rubbing or for anything else." "But I'm sick!" "I couldn't care less!" "Well, you're right, why enter into temptation?" "Just one whiff and..." "Miss, do you want help with your things?" "No, no, you can't, you're too young." "I'm strong." "No, you can't." "Yes, I can!" "No, no!" "Look, I brought my assistant!" "Ah!" "Your assistant?" "Yes, man." "The bag." "Okay, go ahead." "Don't throw things around, be careful." "Help me!" "Now, Miss, how about that?" "One more." "This is for you." "Here, come on." "I'm running late, and my husband'll be furious." "She's already gone?" "Good grief, brother!" "Every day I get deeper in debt." "Why?" "What do you mean why?" "The debt I owe to Luis, the debt to the Virgin of Guadalupe for the collection box, the debt to the Holy Child of Antioch for the clothes." "And now this bag?" "Oh well, but this one you owe to the devil." "Pass me the ham." "Give me the cheese, son." "Why aren't you eating John?" "I'm not hungry." "John's a glutton." "In the market, he was fairly stuffing himself." "Well, at least join us with some grapes, cream, eh?" "Don't insist, Grandpa, or else John will wet the bed." "And then he'll leave a big spot." "Oh, cheer up!" "Come on!" "Granny!" "Hello, my son." "Look, Grandma, today I brought you some fruit, some cheese, and some ham." "Who'd you steal it from?" "No, no, what are you thinking?" "I worked today in the market to get that." "Oh, you gave me a fright!" "But hey, look, I've nearly finished the suit and it's looking good." "You'll look like a proper dandy." "Hey, Grandma, don't say anything to Grandpa about making me this suit." "It's just that he doesn't want me to be an altar boy." "Don't worry son, I'm as quiet as a tomb." "No, no, Grandma, you're a stunner of a woman!" "Old leather, but I'm not done yet!" "Come on, let's try on the suit..." "Okay." "because you're going to take it this very day." "First the jacket, hang on." "I'll take it off." "No." "How awful!" "No!" "It can't be!" "I don't know how it happened." "One woman said..." "she saw the whole thing, that a little guy jumped on him, clinging to his neck, and wouldn't let go." "But who was it?" "It was a little person, and he was all dressed in black... and he's already appeared in other neighborhoods." "It wasn't a mad dog?" "No, no, I don't think so." "I think it's a Dracula boy." "In my country, we've seen this, he's the son of Dracula." "And he's very dangerous, very dangerous." "But they say this Dracula is different, he's an alcoholic, that only attacks those who drink." "Want to share a drink?" "No, no, no, no." "That explains why so many drunk guys are found dead." "He grabs them while they're sleeping it off, and it's "Goodbye, cruel world"." "It sounds like bullshit to me." "Are you sure?" "Wear a turtle neck sweater, because any day now he may come looking for you." "If he likes wine, he'll find more than enough here." "But I'll have to charge him for it." "Sure he likes it, but with blood!" "Don't you see that it's a Dracula boy?" "Ah!" "Really, it's not just a story!" "Sure." "A lot of people have seen him!" "He's already killed a few, they've even reported him at the police station." "Really." "But, why does it happen only to those who drink?" "Well, he likes alcohol mixed with blood." "Ah, like a cocktail!" "No!" "Either way, I won't go out at night, so I'll be all right." "Really." "And where's John?" "He spent all afternoon in the toilet." "That's just Montezuma's revenge." "Oh, that's my Carlitos!" "Look, here he is." "Are you talking about me?" "We're talking about Little Dracula." "Run, before he gets you!" "But what did John eat?" "Boo!" "I'm the terrible Little Dracula!" "Quit drinking, else you'll learn of me and...nyah hah hah!" "It'll be dawn soon." "Santa Teresa, is the best beer the best beer!" "Then Dona Lucila said, I'd rather drink tequila" "Aghhh..." "Mommy!" "Oh, boy!" "What are you doing awake, and so made up?" "Well...it's because I felt like scaring people at night." "But I think I did something silly." "No kidding..." "Hey, what about your grandpa?" "My grandpa..." "the problem's with him." "I saw him drunk, and so I gave him a scare." "Ok, explain better, because I don't understand any of this." "Look, I bit his neck, but I might've overdone it." "You bit him?" "But why?" "Look, this is the Little Dracula costume." "Little Dracula?" "Ok, tell me again, slowly." "Look, I went to the museum, and I got this idea..." "I gave him a bite really hard." "I think I over did it!" "You've achieved something wonderful, sensational." "What about the bite?" "No, man, that bite is going to cure his alcoholism." "Look, your grandfather is terrified." "So keep quiet, boy, keep quiet, eh?" "Ah, however, now you're going to have to behave like a grown up." "Sure." "And to keep the secret of your persona." "Hello, hello, can you hear me?" "One, two, three, testing." "You're a one!" "Just look at how you've worried your whole family." "Look, I've already apologized many times, haven't I?" "That won't take you very far." "Don't upset him any more, Doctor." "No, what worries me is something else, and more serious." "What is it, what's happened?" "Look, you believe that it was Little Dracula who attacked you." "But as I see it, it was a venomous animal, something like a scorpion." "No, Doctor, I saw him." "Look... he was a little guy with fangs who bit me, and then he ran off." "But if you were drunk, how did you notice?" "But I saw it, yes, I saw it." "Well, after the fright, I even sobered up." "I don't believe in that stuff, but look..." "I do assure you, that I can't discharge you." "And I'm sending you to a special hospital... because I need to examine you personally... and send you for a series of tests." "Hey, tell me the truth, Doctor, is this fatal?" "Well..." "I don't want to scare you, but from now on... we'll keep you here and take care of you." "And, ma'am, calm down." "Truly we must thank God that this man hasn't died." "Miss Leontina, will you prepare the documentation for tomorrow?" "Certainly." "How's it going, What's up, my friend?" "How are you, Don Luis?" "Fine." "What can I do for you?" "I'm very upset because I can't pay back what I owe you." "What, haven't you been working?" "No, sure I worked!" "I was already getting used to working at the market." "But something very bad happened." "What happened?" "It's..." "But you won't tell anyone, right?" "Because it's a secret that I put a lot of work into." "Ah, no, tell me, tell me." "You've piqued my curiosity, and you know everyone enjoys a good bit of gossip." "What happened?" "Very well, because there are already three of us in on the secret!" "It sounds like a wonderful idea." "So much so that I'm going to call a journalist friend mine," "I'll pay him well so that he creates a commotion." "This Little Dracula has to be famous." "Well, what about you, what do you think?" "Well, I'll go along with it as long as my grandpa's cured." " Bravo!" "Then let's get to work, eh?" "Heck, your case is a major headache!" "This morning we had a doctors meeting." "And what, what happened?" "We came to the conclusion that you were attacked by an alien." "An extraterrestrial or a Martian, I don't know what devil, but the fact is, it was something totally unknown." "No, Doctor, it was Little Dracula, it was Little Dracula!" "So be it, but the fact is that you're doomed... never to touch a single drop of alcohol again in your whole life." "No!" "No, no, the fact is that... your blood is contaminated with an extremely rare saliva... to such an extent that if we mix it, it'll explode like gunpowder." "Oh, no, Doctor!" "Yes, we did a test in the laboratory." "Can't I even drink a little bit?" "How do you mean?" "Well, if that's the case, I'd rather save my life." "It can't be helped." "Goodbye to drinking, goodbye to my drinking buddies!" "I'll really explode?" "Oh, please, don't joke about it, man!" "Have you read this?" "Yes, the bank raid." "No, no, about Little Dracula." "Yes, I read it." "And don't you think it's terrible?" "No." "Why?" "In addition to crises, the inflation, and the pests we must suffer, we still have to put up with aliens who come to attack us." "Well, I just pity those who drink alcohol." "But can it be true?" "Of course!" "Here's a statement from a very prominent doctor, a biologist, and photographs of the patient they're investigating." "You're not finishing breakfast." "No, I'm in a rush." "Also be careful, you don't want to cross paths with this tyke." "Nonsense." "If I were you, I'd close the doors, just in case." "See you, Melina." "Shall I bring your chilaquiles, ma'am?" "No, thanks, Martita, I don't feel like it." "Shut all the doors and check the windows." "Well, I'll let you go home, but you know the conditions." "You must return to work, and no alcohol." "No, no more alcohol, if I don't want to die." "Well, come on, make your family happy." "Thanks for everything, Doctor." "Let's go, let's go." "Good luck, ma'am." "Excuse me." "Come in, Juanita, come in." "Jaime!" "Go release the dog." "Yes, ma'am." "Juanita, come in!" "Dona Mari, I'm better." "I'm at your service whenever you want." "Oh, that's great!" "But first you must answer me something." "Is it true that your dad was bitten by Little Dracula?" "Yes, you can just imagine the disgrace!" "Then get out, get out, and don't ever come back here!" "Jaime, bring the dog!" "You're going to guard the house." "I need you to bare your fangs, and when that Little Dracula shows up, you eat him." "Here's your coffee, ma'am." "Thank you." "Don't worry, Juanita, you won't lose out on work." "And so, what do I do?" "What you must do is to watch your father, look after your children, and send Carlitos to me, I need to talk to him." "Look... here... take this money, so this week you'll have no problems." "But I owe it to you." "I keep track of my debts." "No, don't worry, and send me your boy." "Don't forget that." "How are you, girl?" "Dad, I came to see if you're eating at home, or you want me to bring you something." "No, it's better I eat at home, because if you bring it here, the guys will turn up with booze." "I don't want that anymore, my girl." "Don't even say it, Dad." "I don't want to end up an orphan." "No!" "You're still too young to be an orphan." "Besides, you'll still have your dad for a long time." "What's up, Carlitos?" "How does this look to you?" "Speaking of the devil..." "Clear off elsewhere, my dad doesn't drink any more!" "Oh, hail the skirts!" "No, it's no joke, I'm serious, man." "So take off, but anytime you want a chair fixed, bring it." "And if you ever temp him again, I'll break a chair over your head." "Well, it's your loss then!" "What a skirt-licker!" "Yeah, you blew it, I don't drink anymore." "Good afternoon, Miss Secretary." "Good afternoon." "A while ago I was in my suite when my dear mother said, "Carlos," "Don Luis needs your services."" "Which is why I put aside any pending business... to satisfy the demand of my friend Don Luis" "You want to talk to him, right?" "No, no, hang on." "In this case, it's him who wants to talk to Miguelito." "Miguelito's your name?" "No, I am the young Carlos M..." "Carlos what?" "Just tell him Carlitos." "All right." "Have a seat." "I'll inform him right away." "Okay." "You can go in, boy." "Thanks." "What's up, kiddo?" "At your service, for whatever mission." "I'm going to ask for a favour the size of a cathedral." "I'm at your service." "Look, we'll prepare everything really well." "I don't want any lose ends." "Sure." "Look, first of all, I want you and I to talk." "I brought your vodka, ma'am." "Oh, Martita, how lovely!" "You'll go to heaven." "You don't want some?" "No, ma'am, thank you." "And you, who are you?" "No, baby, I'm not you!" "I'm the mistress of this house." "Hello?" "Oh, yes, my love!" "Don't wait for dinner." "I've got a lot of work and I'll be late." "The kids are asleep." "I already put on my nightgown." "Good, make sure you lock up, eh?" "Oh, don't give me all that silly advice!" "Don't get mad, but these days, there are assaults, rapes, and even blood-sucking creatures." "You're just trying to scare me." "Now go to sleep in peace, and have a good night." "Bah!" "Boo!" "Don't pretend, you were frightened!" "There's a victim." "It sounded like it came from your wife's room." "Come on, Let's get over there!" "Oh, he snuck in, it was Little Dracula!" "He nearly cut through your jugular!" "Call a doctor, I don't want to die!" "Call a doctor!" "I'll call the doctor right away." "Ma'am, I have to tell you the truth in front of your husband." "Tell us, please, Doctor." "Well you see, you have the same symptoms as the other victims." "But is there a cure?" "We'll just build on past experience... and we'll apply the same treatment." "Doctor, I don't want to die!" "I have my husband and my children, I don't want to die!" "Ma'am, one thing's for sure, you'll have to keep to a very strict convalescence." "I warn you." "As you already know, no alcohol." "Sure doctor, no alcohol." "Or else I'll die." "Well, you're going to be in charge of this building." "Yes, Don Luis." "You'll have a great apartment to live in rent-free, and I'm going to pay a good monthly salary." "Oh, Don Luis, we don't know how to thank you!" "You, Don Carlos, can wash cars during the day." "Indeed!" "And then go to the joinery." "But you know, you have to drop your old friends, because otherwise..." "Else I'll leave and take my kids." "Then see who'll sort out your problems." "Look, don't worry about me anymore." "I don't want to die, or lose my grandkids, or daughter." "Well, then forge ahead." "Look, Honey, this is Carlitos." "In his spare time, when not in school, he's going to help us as a messenger between the office and home." "At your service." "Nice to meet you, Carlitos." "Here I am, Dad." "How are you, son?" "How are you doing?" "Well, Carlitos, to start helping us out," "My daughter got some homework today." "She hasn't been able to do it." "Will you explain what consumerism is?" "Sure, consumerism?" "Aha." "Consumerism..." "Consumerism is this guy." "You know why, kiddo?" "Because you aren't to know, and I don't tend to gossip, but of course, that provided I, however," "But this guy is consumerism, and I'll tell you why," "I'll tell you why, kiddo, you're not to know, nor me to gossip." "Being a gossip isn't the same as being a tattle-tale." "Because I'll tell you one thing, look:" "there are moments in life that..." "Now, as they say this guy is consumerism, for example, he always wears the same old trainers, same old trousers, the same old shirt, and the same old shorts." "And I'll tell you why." "For two reasons." "The first one, now, as it's usually said, before the second, kiddo..."