" Are you filming it, Otávio?" " Try again, Lígia!" "Oh, Otávio!" " It's not on, Lígia!" " I'll throw it in your face!" "Careful with the camera!" "Is this thing on?" " It's not on!" " It's on!" "Come and see for yourself!" " Let me see!" " It's not on." " Go, it's your turn!" " You don't believe me, do you?" "Oh, if I hit here, what do I win?" "Hit it!" "Three kisses?" "One more!" "Yeah!" "Come here, give me that camera." "What's up?" "!" "SOULBOUND" "Are you drunk again?" "No." "And even if I was, it's not your problem." "Supporting you is not my problem either." "Like you always say:" "I'm not your father." "Fine, I don't need you for anything anyway!" "It's better like that." "Every night I hear a hell of a wheeze in my heart and I know it's the sound of the slaughter of everything that dared to inhabit my chest each day." "Every morning when I wake up several new things are born deep inside of me." "I feel a confused recycling in here, a mixture of nostalgia for what I was yesterday and curiosity for what I am today, rubbing itself over the anguish of what I'll become tomorrow." "Hurry, it's started!" "Look at her tiny feet!" "Wow, man, look at that!" "It's unbelievable that this thing exists!" "I was the one filming it!" "We had been dating for six months, I guess!" "How old were you?" "There?" "I guess I was eighteen, nineteen!" "We had just finished having sex on the canton rocks." "Naughty bastard!" "Was she naughty like that?" "She was when she was with me!" "And nobody can deny it, she was gorgeous!" "Funny, Lígia wasn't just gorgeous..." "She was joyful!" "We had a lot of fun." "Look at that!" "Look how she's about to get hit by the wave, she's about to get hit now!" "Keep watching!" " If it was so good..." " Look at that!" "If it was so good, why did it end?" "Why?" "I don't know, she was kind of crazy!" "One day we were getting along just fine, and the next she was breaking up with me. getting all crazy!" "And you!" "?" "I was crushed!" "I was really crushed, Carlos." "Look at you with curly hair!" "I had curly hair!" "Look at your in-love face!" "I was a teenager." "Really in love." "Sometimes I think you're still in love with this woman!" "Maybe I am!" "Carlos," "I can't believe you're jealous of Lígia, a woman I haven't seen in over twenty years." "Time doesn't have anything to do with it, ok?" "!" "It's very annoying, unpleasant to listen to the man I love saying he's still in love with someone else." "I know you would hate, hate if I said" "I still had thoughts about someone else." "Carlos, look, we just saw the film and it reminded me how Lígia is, was and always will be important in my life." "It doesn't have anything to do with us." "I love Lígia the same way" "I love that boy that I was back then." "Yeah, right, your eyes just sparkle when you talk about this girl!" "Look, Carlos, come on, this jealousy of yours is ridiculous." "Why don't you do this:" "first wait till I'm back to liking women, so I can start liking Lígia again, and only then you can get jealous?" "How about that?" "In the meantime, we can just get back to living our lives in peace!" "Alright, fine!" "Look into my eyes and swear you're not in love with her anymore!" "Don't overreact, my love," "I was joking." "Okay?" "!" "I'm well aware that you were joking, Carlos." "But enough of this jealous paranoia!" "Make no mistake, if the day comes when I don't want to be with you anymore, I'll let you know, ok?" "Where are you going?" "I don't know." "I'm going for a walk to think a bit about my boring life." "Otávio!" "What's wrong, César?" "What do you think?" "Your nephew came home drunk again!" "I had to keep myself from hitting him." "I can't do it, Leila!" "What is it now?" "Can't you hear it?" "This late at night, and the kid is still playing that thing." "Leave him alone, we can't even hear it, César!" "Give him a break!" "Well, if you're not going over there, I'll handle this my way." "No, no need, I'll go!" " Gil!" " What?" "Stop playing." "It's late." "Go to bed!" "Ok, I'm going!" "Open up!" "Ahm?" "Open up!" "Ok, hold on." "I'm changing here!" "What's the fuss about?" "Since when are you shy with me?" "I'm not, just a second!" " What are you doing?" " Ahm?" "What are you doing?" "Nothing, I'm changing!" " Open the door!" " Wait!" "Ok, ok!" "What's the hurry!" " What's going on?" " Ahm?" " What's going on?" " Nothing!" "Are we keeping secrets from each other now?" "No, nothing is going on!" "You're smoking weed." "What weed!" "Do you think I'm stupid?" "I'm telling you, I'm not smoking weed!" "Look, if you're going through this phase, you wanna try it." "Fine." "Just don't keep smoking weed in my house or we're gonna have a problem Gil!" "Relax, weed is alright, it's no big deal..." "What did you say?" "Seriously, I smoke it sometimes, it's nothing out of this world!" "It really isn't out of this world." "It's a thing for idiots!" "For people who don't think, morons, bums, pricks!" "Don't exaggerate!" "I don't care what you think," "I just want to be clear that it's not going to happen!" "You're not going to smoke weed in this house!" "Are we understood?" "Yes, I understand that we talked about it, but I disagree!" "Look how you talk to your aunt!" " Let me handle this, César!" " No way!" "He does what he wants with you." "He needs a man-to-man conversation." "But I don't have any more time to waste talking to you, ok, uncle?" "We will talk later." " Listen to me, you brat!" " Take your hands off me!" "Listen to me, you brat, if you want to stay here, you'll have to do things my way." " Leave him alone!" " No, I won't!" "This is how he got like this!" "It's your fault!" "You're always spoiling him." "This is the last time you lay a finger on me." "Got it?" "!" "Where are you going, Gil?" "Gil!" "Who is it?" "It's Gil, Carla's boyfriend." "Do you know what time it is, young man?" "Well, I'm sorry!" "It's important!" "Oh, my love, is everything alright?" "Yeah, it is!" "I was thinking we could go to the beach, we can watch the sunrise!" "And talk for a bit 'cause I really need it." "Things suck right now!" "I can't, Gil." "Tomorrow I have to wake up really early, you know that." "Fine!" "What's wrong?" "Nothing, Carla." "Come on, it sucks, alright." "You can never do anything, man!" "You're so full of rules, you know?" "It's difficult during the week," "I've already told you a thousand times." "Ok, Carla, fine!" "I'm not going to keep begging you!" "I'm all fucked up!" "Do you at least have ten bucks so that I can buy a bottle of wine?" "I don't!" "And I can't even get it from my mother now." "Man!" "I don't think I've ever felt so lonely!" "Stop talking like that." "I'm here for you." "I don't feel good, Carla." "Talk to you tomorrow, alright?" "You hardly kissed me!" "Oh, well, I can't kiss during the week!" "You're such a rebel!" "Yeah, I guess maybe I am!" "Hey, man!" "What's up?" "Cool?" "Cool!" "Do you have vodka, man?" "Yeah!" " How much?" " Seven bucks a shot!" "Dude, I only have 2.70!" "Can't you accept it?" "2.70 I can't!" "Write it down, I'll pay you tomorrow!" "Are you really going to pay?" "Fine then!" "Hey!" "Do you have whiskey?" "Great pal, leave the bottle here, please!" "Come to bed, Leila!" "I'm worried!" "I don't feel well, I'm distraught." "This brat is not worth your concern!" "He's a good kid!" "He's just going through a bad phase, we have to forgive it." "This thing of him not studying, living only for music, vagrancy!" "Meanwhile, I work my ass off!" "You raised this brat all wrong, Leila!" "Can you get me another one, man?" "Write one more down!" "Sorry." "Can't do it!" "I've already put you on the cuff before." "Pour me just a tad, then!" "Come on, I've cut you some slack, now it's your turn!" "Give me a break!" "Ok then, but it wouldn't hurt to pour me just a tad more!" "Come on." "Composing?" "What?" " Are you composing?" " Yeah!" "Drink with me here!" "Help yourself!" "Seriously?" "There's plenty of whiskey here, man!" "Drink it up!" "Thanks!" " Thank you, man!" " You're welcome!" "I was composing over there, but without alcohol it's kind of difficult you know?" "Things don't come out." "I know how it is." "Listen, do you mind if I smoke one of those cigarettes?" "Take it!" "Thanks!" " There you go." " Thank you!" "No problem!" "Hey, I forgot to ask your name!" "Otávio!" "I'm Gil!" " What's up, Gil?" " Cool." "Hey, man, would you mind giving me just one more sip of that whiskey?" " Help yourself!" " Thank you!" "Sorry for being such a leech." " Tough times, you know?" " Is the sound coming out?" " Yeah, yeah!" " Yeah, yeah, yeah?" "!" "I'm struggling over here." "At some point it will have to come out!" "It's halfway through." "I know how it is, man!" "What are you?" "Are you a musician?" " I am!" " Seriously?" " I'm a pianist!" " A pianist?" "Man, I think piano rocks, you know?" "But I'm not good at it." "My thing is writing, singing." "Then I try playing a few things here and there, a guitar, a harmonica, everything." "The thing is halfway through." "It's beginning to flow." "It's something like this:" ""Took me for a walk down the entire street!"" "There is a bit of Raul Seixas in you, isn't there?" "Yeah!" " Do you like Raul?" " A lot!" ""To pay your bills, that were almost overdue."" "Here, my friend, bring down the bottle and let's go." "Or else..." "I knew how to play that one." "I don't know what your influences are!" "Sort of..." "That's nice, man!" "We go out to drink, to compose." "People gathered." "Lots of artists, lots of guitar playing." "So there is one who plays rock, one who plays MPB." "Who said that?" "I don't know, a man, I read it somewhere." "The rock guy made a mistake, I think he even wrote a song." "Based on what you're saying," "I think you were really going to like these people." "I want to know them, man." "It all gets so bureaucratic, without that youthfulness and that is what I see that you are doing." ""Eat chocolate little dirty one, eat..."" ""I wish I could eat chocolate with the truthfulness with which you eat"" "Here is what we're going to do:" "we're going to take this bottle and head to one of the "Varandas" because, people are certainly up all night out there composing." "Then you'll get to know these people, they'll get to know you and it's going to be awesome!" " Is it far?" " No, it's right over there!" "Is it?" "!" "I've already worked this thing out a long time ago." "Now it's time for a cigarette, right?" "Cigarette!" "What's the good news?" "We're getting there, we're getting there!" "We have to see to it!" "Did you come back, dude?" "!" "I was going to come back!" "This is Otávio." "Otávio?" "!" "Nice to meet you!" "Otávio has a bottle of whiskey for everybody!" "Hey, Otávio, you're spoiling the guys!" "This is everybody, let me introduce you to the others!" "Come!" "Hey, guys..." "Otávio!" "Otávio... everybody!" "Make yourself comfortable around here, have a seat!" "If you want, there's beer over there!" "Ah, and there's a bottle of whiskey that Otávio brought too!" "And this night, I'll never forget for the rest of my life." "Never, ever, ever!" "No man, you're killing the whole thing!" "You can choose which one you want." "I don't have any problem with that!" "Wake up!" "Do something genuine!" "Even if it looks crazy to everyone else..." "I am so happy, Gil!" "Let me tell you something:" "I only need the best and the worst of love mixed together, man!" "And about your worries, Mr. Otávio, you don't need to be all upset 'cause everybody fucking liked it and so did you." "You know what I mean?" ""Anything, like a person will keep on writing things like verses, underneath things like billboards"" "The day is rising and I'm not going to miss it, not for me, not for anyone." "Am I interrupting anything?" "No, Gil!" "What happened, man?" "Fear!" "Fear?" "Fear of what?" "Fear of coming back to my plain boring life, waking up sober in my house and losing myself, and of forgetting the man I allowed myself to be tonight!" "Can I have a drink of that?" "As Humphrey Bogart would say..." "Do you know Bogart?" ""The whole world is about three drinks behind."" "I think I should keep myself sad and lonely all the time!" "I was living a plain boring life, an average life!" "So I don't lose myself, you know?" "With no great love, no place new!" "I still see myself as brave, man!" "But today it seems that my dreams are older than me." "Maybe I've forgotten to say "no" to monotony!" "Today I'm going to do something that I should do everyday of my life, but don't let myself," "don't allow myself to do!" " Come Otávio." "Come!" " What are you doing Lígia?" "Come Otávio!" "Come!" "What is it, Lígia?" "Are you crazy?" " Come Otávio." " Come where, crazy woman?" " Into the water!" " Into the water?" "!" "I have my clothes on and the camera!" "Come Otávio!" "Wait, wait!" "Are you crazy?" "Are you insane?" " Wait, Lígia." " Come Otávio!" "I have the camera here!" "Wait." "I have my clothes on." "You're crazy!" "Otávio, get out of there, brother!" "It's fucking cold!" "Are you dizzy?" "Fuck!" "Everything, everything is spinning!" "If you look right, the entire world is spinning, while the lucidity sleeps and faints into infinity!" "You're inspired, huh?" "No, no..." "I am inspired Gil," "I'm just out of practice!" "Man, it's good to listen to you, you know?" "At last, someone..." "At last, someone... who doesn't fucking make me feel lonely!" "You are lonely, Gil." "No, not today!" "Gil," "the others... come and go in our lives," "just like the waves come and go in to the sea." "They come and fade away, just like people in our lives disappear." "But the sea is right there, and the deeper you go," "the quieter and lonelier it is." "One has to be immense like the sea to know how to be lonely!" "Wow, Otávio, thank you!" "For what, kid?" "For everything, man!" "For everything, man!" "You're a great guy!" "I'm the one who should be thanking you, kid!" "Thank you!" "Seriously, You're a great guy." "Great!" "Funny," "I see myself in your eyes, you know?" "This clumsy courage" "willing to swallow even the saddest part of life for the love of things you believe in." "I was like that, man!" "Funny, I see myself in yours too." "I see... something in them" "that I don't want age to make me loose throughout life." "Gil!" "I'm sorry, man." "That should have never happened!" " Look..." " Leave me alone!" " Dude!" " Leave me alone, damn it!" "Gil!" "Come back here, man, where are you going like that?" "Carlos, wake up!" "Wake up!" "Wake up and explain yourself!" "What?" "Are you crazy?" "Am I crazy?" "!" "You set my things on fire, my keepsakes," " and I'm the crazy one?" "!" " Fuck you!" "You want to make a fool out of me." "Going out last night to flirt with that kid!" "Kid?" "!" "While I was home feeling bad for the foolish things I've said." "Look, Carlos, here is what You're going to do:" "pack your things and get out of my life!" "Get out of my house!" "You have five minutes!" " What?" " You heard me, Carlos!" "Pack your stuff and get out of my life!" "Five minutes!" "You're not serious, are you?" "Carlos, I can't stand listening to your voice anymore," "I can't stand smelling your scent anymore," "I can't stand looking at your face anymore." "It's over man!" "I can't stand you!" "It's over!" "Calm down, Otávio, you're upset, you're acting on impulse!" "Don't touch me, Carlos!" "Great, that is the last straw." "Now get out of here." "It's over." "You're dead to me, burned away like my things that you destroyed with no remorse." "I'm going out When I get back," "I don't want to see any of your things, alright?" "!" " Get out of my life!" " I know I made a mistake!" "Enough, it's over!" "Get out of my fucking life!" "I know I made a mistake, Otávio!" "There is no point in you feeling like that!" "How many times has he done this?" "!" "How many times has anything ever happened to him?" "The only way this will end is if you do something about it!" "I'll send him to his grandmother's!" "You've been saying that for forever!" "You have to kick this brat out for real!" "He's my nephew, César!" "Nice, very nice!" "Your irresponsible sister has a child and we raise him." "My sister is dead!" "My sister is dead!" "She didn't place her son in a basket and leave him on our doorstep." "She died!" "Your mother should have taken care of him." "I've never agreed to having him here!" "You've always made that quite clear!" "Where were you?" "Where were you?" "I was at the beach, composing." " I fell asleep!" " I couldn't sleep because of you!" "You didn't have to worry I just fell asleep!" "It can't be this way, it can't!" "You'll have to go to your grandmother's house!" "Okay, I'll go!" "Now she really means it!" "You're not going to fool your aunt this time." "Go to your room, pack your things and go." "Relax!" "I'd rather live on the streets than Keep living under the same roof as you." "You should have gone a long time ago," " you ungrateful piece of shit!" " You're retarded!" "I don't understand how my aunt puts up with you!" "Your mother was lucky for dying." "That way she didn't have to see the piece of garbage you became." "Wash your mouth before you talk about my mother, you son of a bitch!" "You piece of shit!" " Loser!" " I feel sorry for you!" "This is no place for bums!" "It's your fault!" "Gil!" "Get rid of that monster, aunt Leila!" "You're ruining your life!" "I didn't want things to be like this, Gil!" "I really didn't!" "Go to your grandmother's, stay there for some time, and when things calm down you can come back, honey!" "Aunt Leila, I love you very much," "I really love you!" "But I'll never set foot in here again." "I'll never fucking set foot in here again!" "It's not like that Gil!" "Gil!" "Ih, Otávio is smoking!" "Don't film it, Lígia, if my father watches it, I'm screwed." "Then, you'll at least quit this addiction." "What addiction?" "You're my addiction!" " That's not true!" " Yes it is!" "That's not true." "Seriously, don't you believe me?" "!" " Yeah!" " Then come here!" "Don't you believe me?" "You're a million miles away, aren't you, Otávio?" "Oh, Marcelo!" "Sorry, man!" "I really am." "What's wrong?" "Did anything happen?" "No, nothing serious." "I just have a lot on my head, a few problems!" "Do me a favor, man, be a pal, finish up with these people for me, will you?" "Do you know what I wanted?" "To know how to fly, man!" "I don't know, get away from this shit, follow the horizon!" "I'm tired!" "I'm tired especially of myself!" "I don't know, sometimes I feel like jumping off a bridge just to end it once and for all, you know?" "Stop it, Gil!" "Don't say nonsense." "Relax, I'm too much of a coward that I'm afraid of killing myself." "You're the bravest man I know." "You're there, like that, because you're a dreamer Gil, because you believe in your dreams!" "No Carla, I'm lost!" "It seems I've taken all the wrong shortcuts in my life." "The way I see it is that I was doing shit, shit, shit, shit, and now I'm drowning in all this shit!" "Come here!" "Look at us, had you only done shit, shit, shit, shit," "I would never be so in love with you!" "It's going to be alright, ok?" "Trust me!" "Wait, Carla, wait." "I'm not in the mood!" "Ok, alright!" "I get it." "You're having your own moment..." "It's not that!" "It seems that all my thoughts are mixed up in my head, they're loose!" "Look at that..." "I don't even know how to treat a woman like you, who loves me!" "Don't get me wrong." "I think I need a break, you know?" "Gil, I don't know what else to tell you..." "You don't need to say anything." "I'm the problem." "Where are you going to stay?" "Are you going to your grandmother's?" "No, not there!" "No way I'm going there." "Gil, how will I find you?" "Man, that is something I wanted to know as well." "Relax, I'll come after you, alright?" "!" "Gil, it's like you're disgusted with me." "You didn't even kiss me right." "Don t worry." "I'm disgusted with myself." " What's up?" " What's up, man!" "Dude, what a hangover!" "Do you have one of these?" " Take it!" " Thanks!" "What's with the face?" "Oh, I argued with my aunt I'm fed up with that house!" "Aunt Leila?" "!" "Nice person, come on!" "She is!" "But I can't stand that son of a bitch who lives with her!" "Bummer!" "Tell me about it." "And now?" "What are you going to do?" "I was supposed to go to my grandmother's." "But if I stay there, I'll kill the old lady!" "I was thinking about spending a couple of days here!" "You can't stay here, man." "My father will kill me if I bring anyone into the house!" "Tell him it's just for two days!" "It's difficult to negotiate with him!" "Can't do it, no way!" "Hey!" " Fuck!" " I have no place to go." "Fuck man stay at the old lady's for two days!" "Impossible." "If I spend one day there," "I will kill her or she will kill me," "I don't know what can happen." "So leave your stuff here." "I will hide it in my room." "Wait till this passes a little." "Then, if you need to, you can stay here!" "Listen, forget it." "The good thing about this is that it will make me realize" " once and for all that I'm really alone." " Alone, man?" "Come on!" "If the house were mine, there would be no problem!" "No, it's cool!" "You don't have to explain anything!" " Are you pissed?" " No, I'm not pissed!" "But it's good to know who I can count on!" "Come on, Gil?" " Otávio!" " Yeah?" "Carlos is here!" "He wants to talk to you!" "Fuck, Marcelo!" "I told you to tell him I wasn't here, man!" "I did it, but he saw your car, he saw you coming inside, what do you want me to do?" "Nothing, do this, hold it here for me!" "I'll go there!" "I'm not going to humiliate myself for you, you know!" "Otávio, I'm here to set things right!" "I love you," "I want it all to be okay, that's all." "Carlos, you crossed the line yesterday!" "Fine, I'm sorry!" "I was drunk, I was pissed, I lost control." "I'm sorry." "There!" "I said it!" "It's not about apologizing!" "That's not it!" "The thing is, the thing is" "I lost the passion for our life together," "I lost the passion for us, man!" "And there is something else I need you to do." "I need you to stop by and take the rest of your clothes preferably when I'm not there." "Can you do that?" "I have to work, I have a lot of work to do, please!" "So this is the dishonest, careless and disrespectful end you want for us?" "Is that it?" "Please, Carlos!" "You wanted it to be this way." "I didn't want it to be like this!" "Son of a bitch!" "You are a son of a bitch!" " Did you find him?" " No!" "I looked everywhere he could be... nothing!" "He didn't even go to his grandmother's house!" "Take it easy, no one dies of that!" "It's good for him to learn how to think what he had." "Can you put yourself in my shoes at least for one second?" "Can't you see that I'm suffering Can't you stop being so selfish?" "So now I'm the selfish one in the story?" "!" "It's impossible to talk to you, you know?" "!" "You see how you talk to me, Leila!" "I have an invisible friend or enemy, someone from outside that sees me and doesn't say anything," "who knows the way and doesn't tell me, somebody that, even if he doesn't exist, looks at me as if I were insane," "a presence of something that knows everything about me and tells nobody but in its transparent existence, it throws things back in my face and doubts me." "And I think it is the invisible eye of the world, or just this insecure air of God with me!" "If I could kill myself!" "If I could make a paper plane with my life, with everything I've lived so far, and just threw it away." "Move back, Lígia, it's dangerous over there!" "How cute!" "Are you worried about me?" "!" "Of course!" "Come!" "Look how beautiful this place is, Otávio!" "Give me that camera and I'll show you the most beautiful sight of all." "You're silly!" "Hey, brat!" "What are you doing here, man?" "!" "Fuck you!" "I'll make you swallow your words!" "I've already told you this is no longer your home!" "Got it?" "You brat!" "Learn how to be a man, bum!" "The feeling of having no direction to follow is horrible." "Walking straight, turning left, turning right, it doesn't make any difference," "Everything just seems an eternal wrong-way, a dead-end." "Is Otávio there?" "He is in the middle of a recording, but if you'd like to, you could wait." " What's your name?" " Gil!" "Come on in." "Otávio, I'm sorry to disturb you!" "There is a young man here wanting to talk to you." "His name is Gil." "Do I send him in?" "I'll send him in!" "Hey!" " Sorry to interrupt!" " Come on, man!" "You're not interrupting anything." "I came because you said you might be able to help me out, so I'm here to talk about that." "I was worried about you, Gil!" "Is everything alright?" "Sort of!" "I have to be honest with you." "I didn't come here to have any fag talk with you, got it?" "That's not my thing!" "I just want to make that quite clear." "Let's clarify something:" "that day we drank a lot," "I really liked meeting you, you're a talented kid, and I really liked meeting your friends but I'm not okay," "I'm going through a very complicated period of my life." "Maybe, I over did it, maybe I drank way too much," " I'm ashamed." " You drank too much," "I drank too much." "I don't think there is anyone to blame." "It's just that I'm not a fag and I'm not into having that kind of conversation." "I never thought some shit like that would happen to me." "Come on, man!" "Take it easy!" "Let's do something:" "let's put it all behind us, how about that?" " Okay." " Okay?" "So I'm only going to ask you one thing:" "let's finish this conversation outside!" "We can light up a cigarette because this is not a very nice place to talk!" "Fine!" "So tell me, how can I help you?" "I'm going to be quite honest with you!" "Have a seat!" "Aside from the end of that night, that thing that happened," "I thought you were a really special guy." "So I would like to know what you can help me with, you know?" "Of course, Gil!" "We can do what we talked about." "We record your songs," "I introduce you to some big shot, interesting people." "The problem is that it takes time." "Well, the thing is I'm really fucked right now," "Otávio, I really need something to survive!" "Well, Gil, I don't have anything for you right now but what I can do is have you here around the studio, giving us a hand whenever we need one" "and pay you some money to cover you basic needs." "Meanwhile, we record your songs, what do you think?" "Awesome!" "All I need is a chance, anyway!" "Cool, another thing that we can do is gather those nice friends of yours and record an independent album to show this awesome movement you guys are making at "Varanda", what do you think?" "Awesome, man!" "Great!" "Gil, let me tell you something:" "we started off on the wrong foot, but I think it's never too late to re-start a friendship." "Sure." "I have to tell the guys about it!" "Excuse me!" "Am I in the middle of something?" "No, Carlos!" "You're not." "Gil..." "Carlos!" " Hey!" " Can I talk to you in private?" "I turn around for a second and you're already with a boy!" "Keep quiet!" "What boy?" "!" "You're insane!" "Now I understand your coldness." "Now I understand everything!" "You must have been dating him for a while and making a fool out of me, isn't that right, Otávio?" "!" "Say it!" "Look at you, man!" "You look crazy!" "Go get some help." "Otávio, I'm not going to play the fool in this story, got it?" "Carlos, first, get that finger out of my face!" "Calm down!" "Carlos, understand something, our relationship wasn't over because of any boy!" "Your irrational behavior is a complete turn off!" "So this is how it's going to be, huh?" "It was you who wanted it this way, no me!" "Alright Okay, okay, fine!" "Have it your way, you selfish bastard." "You know what?" "!" "The hell with it!" "The hell with it!" "These guys are really good, huh, Otávio!" "I told you so!" "Modesty aside, Otávio Maia doesn't fail!" "I have an eye for it!" "I looked at them once and saw it!" "My head is popping and tingling with ideas!" "But they're going to be a problem aren't they, Otávio?" "A problem?" "!" "Tell him what the problem is!" "All they care about is drinking and playing!" "Drinking and playing, look at that!" "I have some shit to tell you." " But you're going to tell me, right?" " Yeah, I am!" "Otávio, bye dear!" "Have a good evening." " Congratulations, big boy!" " Thanks!" "Thanks Gil, good night!" "Hey man, thanks again." " Thank you, man!" " Thank you for the trust!" "Let me ask you something." "Do you need a ride?" "No!" "I'm going over to a friend's place, over there." "It's cool!" "Do you need anything else?" "Hmm, well, could you give me thirty bucks in advance?" "Sure!" "I'll give you fifty and then we'll deal with it later, okay?" "!" "Thanks!" "You're a life saver!" "Get here early tomorrow alright?" "See you, kid!" "What the hell?" "Are you crazy, dude?" "Get off of me!" "Get off!" "Stop it, damn it!" "Stop!" "Fuck you, bastard!" "Are you crazy, dude?" "What the fuck, Carlos?" "What the fuck is going on?" "Stop it, Carlos!" "Fuck!" " Are you okay?" " Yeah!" " Are you hurt?" " This shit is crazy, right?" "!" "He's insane!" "Where did he hurt you?" "Over here, on my shoulder, that's all!" "Yeah, Gil, you have an ugly scratch there!" "Try to get up!" " Do you want help?" " No, no need!" "Let's stop by the drugstore, put a bandage on it, okay?" "Come, come!" "Do you want to go to the police station?" " Press charges against him?" " No, no!" " Are you sure?" " I'm sure!" "Let's do this:" "we go to the drugstore," "I buy the things we need, we put a bandage on your shoulder and I drive you home." "No, not home!" " What do you mean?" " It's all messed up there!" "I can't go there." "So then where are you going?" "Drop me over there, on the street, I'll be fine!" "Are you crazy?" "!" "How can I just drop you on the avenue?" "!" "Why don't you get in the car and stay at my place tonight?" "We'll figure it out later." "Get in!" "Come, Gil!" "Come on in, Gil!" "Have a seat!" "Man, what a trap, man!" "I can't believe I was married to this guy for so long!" "Neither can I!" "How are you?" "Over here, right?" "On the back!" "Let me see..." "Damn!" "Look Gil, this is what I'm going to do." "I'm going upstairs to get you a towel." "Over there, on the right, there is a bathroom." "You can take a shower there, wash up, clean that wound well." "Then you can just crash on the sofa, okay?" "Tomorrow we'll see how it goes." " Do you need anything else?" " No!" " Cool?" "!" " Cool!" "Look, thank you, man!" "Come on!" "You don't have to thank me!" "You're a cool kid, special!" "It's no trouble at all." "Yeah, but what you're doing is really awesome!" "Ok." "Well, look, I'm going to bed now because I'm really tired, I'm a wreck, man!" "I haven't slept properly for two nights." "I'll take a shower and crash." "Make yourself comfortable, okay?" "If you need, the fridge is over there, you can prepare something to eat." "Then crash on the sofa and make yourself at home." "Tomorrow we wake up and go to work!" " Okay?" "!" " Deal!" " Good night Gil!" " Night!" "Look over here." "Good morning!" "Good morning." "So?" "So what?" "Is everything okay?" "Everything is strange." "But I don't regret it." "I'm just lost, I don't know!" "You look scared!" "I am a little." "It's as if the Gil inside of me packed his things and left, you know?" "And then I wake up and there's already another living inside, one who likes other things, has other wishes, other desires!" "You're feeling bad, aren't you?" "!" "It's not that, man!" "It's just that I would never do what I did!" "But since I've already done it," "I'm no longer that one who wouldn't do it, you know?" "So I don't know if I feel bad about betraying the Gil that I was, or if I feel good for being here with this guy who likes all these new things." "Do you understand?" "Gil, look, let's do this:" "you call the Gil from yesterday who would never do this, so that I can drown him in that toilet." "Then all that will be left is me and the Gil from today who is happy." "What do you think?" " Ok." " Ok?" "Let's do this:" "let's stop thinking about things for a while." "Let's stop thinking about which one of you thinks what... of what..." "where, how and when!" "Yeah!" "Alright?" "!" "So look at me!" "Wait, I'm not okay yet!" "Come on, let's wake up for life, let's have breakfast!" "Let's live?" "Get up, young man!" "Listen, could you drop me down the street over there real quick?" "I have to take care of something." "Then in about an hour I'll go back to the studio!" "Sure, sure!" "I'll drop you there." " Is there a problem?" " No, it's fine!" "What's wrong?" "Your uncle's home." "Come back another day." " Let me see your face!" " Gil!" "Let me see your face!" "That motherfucker hit you!" "No, no!" "For God's sake Gil, leave it alone!" " Let me go!" " Leave it!" "Go to your grandma's, I'm begging you!" "Go!" "I'll handle him, I'm begging you!" "You like getting beaten, right?" "Is that it?" "!" "Please, go Gil, give it a rest!" "Things will work out." "Aunt, I fucking love you." "Understand?" "But I will no longer set foot in here." "I'll disappear!" "Oh, Gil, I was thinking about something, man!" "What?" "Well, while we can't find you a place to live, why don't you stay at my place?" "I don't know, Otávio!" "I haven't taken it all in yet." "It was just an idea." "Think about it!" "Okay!" "Are you still awake?" "Yeah!" "I can't sleep either, man!" "Why Gil?" "I don't know, a strange happiness, you know?" "Strange how?" "!" "Strange, man!" "It's extremely weird to find happiness right where you've swore to yourself you would never go, you know?" "I mean, I've always been so attracted to women, man, and all of a sudden..." "I don't know." "It's all really strange!" "I've also had women in my life who I really loved, Gil!" "This is normal!" "What made you change?" "I don't know." "One day I fell in love and when I opened my eyes," "I realized it was with a man." "Thank you!" "Was it that simple?" "Ah Gil..." "Sometimes I think about..." "I don't know..." "I wonder if it would have worked with a woman but I think it would only be to have a child, you know, having a "more proper" life in everyone else's eyes" "I think my life would have been a bit easier!" "So what I'm feeling is normal?" "It is, Gil." "And I don't know if it ever goes away!" "But the thing is it's so hard to find peace against someone's chest and feel good there," "that it really doesn't matter if it is a man's chest, or a woman s, or the chest of loneliness." "I've been feeling well, kind of without wanting it, without intention, simply looking at myself:" "no pressure, no narcissism, no fear." "To cut it short:" "I've been cleaning up my mirror." "I wish I always breathed peacefully with no burden and a certain freedom, feeling like myself, running naked and free down some of the lanes of my being." "Life has no instruction manual and I get really lost in the middle of it all." "Do you want me to get you a beer?" "No!" "What are you thinking about?" "I'm thinking about how my life has changed, how it has turned upside down!" "But is everything alright?" "Yeah, it's all so good that now I'm missing something!" "I see." "I know what you're missing, Gil!" " You do?" "!" " Yeah!" "So tell me!" "You are at the age of experiencing, of planting the seeds so that you can harvest later." "Understand?" "Having goals!" "I see, you want me to experience even more than what I've been experiencing with you." "Is that it?" "I'm not talking about that, Gil!" "I'm talking about reliability, of challenge!" "I don't know, going to university to study music, specialize in something!" "A challenge that makes you grow up to be a man!" "You sound like my aunt!" "Then maybe she was right." "Sometimes I miss her so much." "You should go to her." "No way!" "If she couldn't understand my life before, imagine now." "What's wrong?" "A pain in my chest!" "Have some water." "Water, César, water!" "Call an ambulance." "I think I'm having a heart attack." "Hurry up, damn it!" ""What is gone from both of us, what is left of you..."" "Alright, man!" "Gil, Otávio is outside and he wants you to go there." "Ah, thanks!" "Well, I'm leaving!" "See you, man!" "What's going on between you and Otávio?" "It's like you were glued on each other." "We are together." "Come on, Gil, turned into a fag?" "I did." "Got a problem with that?" "Easy, man, just joking!" "Alright, guys!" "Is tomorrow's practice set?" "You have to separate the poems for the soiree." "Deal." "Bye!" "Get on all fours, right, Gil!" "Man, the guy turned into a fag!" "But it doesn't even show!" "What a waste!" "Relax." "Easy, trust me!" " Stop." "Ok?" " Ok." " Are you ready?" " Ok." "What is it?" "It's yours!" "Oh, no!" "Are you kidding?" "!" "Yours!" "Ah gift for you entering college, for your being such a special guy." "Come on, take it!" "I know how to make a man happy!" "Are you serious?" "I'm not kidding, it's yours." "You make me so happy, you know?" "I don't know, you make me grow, make me be better than I thought I could be." "I love you!" "I love you too." "Very much." "I love you so, so much!" "So much!" "So much!" "Come on!" "Get in!" "Drive!" "Hmm, now I'm scared!" "Just stay calm." "Go!" "Start the car!" "Very carefully, alright, Lígia?" "!" "Go!" "The way I told you to!" "Okay, okay!" "Yeah, right, calm down, now go!" "Step on the clutch, shift the gear, hand brake, and now you accelerate with courage, Lígia." "Go!" "Don't be afraid, go, speed it up!" "Uhuuu!" "You're so quiet!" "I am, aren't I?" "What's bothering you?" "Honestly?" "I feel bad, you know?" "For what, Gil?" "Oh, Otávio, I've been living with you for almost a year." "I don't help you with anything," "I don't help you with the house," "I don't buy anything." "Relax Gil!" "Things are going to happen for you!" "I'm not asking you for anything!" "No, but I am, Otávio!" "I want to stand on my own two feet." "Understand?" "!" "And whenever I want something, I have to keep asking you?" "I don't want to live off an allowance, man!" "It's not an allowance, Gil!" "You help around the studio, you work there with me!" "I pay you for your work, that isn't an allowance!" "That's salary!" "But you do it to help me, Otávio!" "I want to be able to share the bills with you at the end of the month." "Gil, look." "Relax, man!" "Give it some time." "Things are going to happen and regardless of anything," "I am your partner and I don't mind sharing the things I have with the person I love!" "Do I deserve a man like you?" "!" "You do deserve it!" "You deserve this and a lot more, okay?" "Relax, things will work out, alright?" " Alright!" " Trust me!" "Are you going to drink while driving?" "Fuck, Otávio, leave me, I'm anxious." " What about your driver's license?" " What about it?" "When does it arrive?" "I don't know." "They keep stalling me!" "On Monday I'll go there to solve it!" "Leave it." "I'll deal with it, Otávio!" "Gil, did you spend the license money on something else?" " Of course not." " Tell me the truth!" "Fuck, I'm telling you the truth!" "No!" "Stop kidding around." "Listen, I'm not going to put up with your pranking anymore, got it?" "Since you have your concert today, I'm going to give it a rest, but tomorrow we're going to have a serious conversation." "I will pretend I'm not even listening so that I don't get stressed out!" "Yeah, fine, pretend all you like, 'cause tomorrow you're going to listen to me." "No, man, you're crazy, what do you want?" "Listen, I'm serious, I'm holding a glass here!" "Wait!" "It's serious!" "Otávio is outside!" "Relax, he will never know!" " Gil!" " Yeah?" "!" "Are you crazy, dude!" "Otávio is outside looking for you, man!" "Alright, look, tell him I'm on my way soon." "Wait!" "I'm on my way!" "The guy has already asked about you twice!" "I'm not going to lie to him again." "Cool man, look, tell him you didn't find me and don't tell him I'm here!" "Where were you?" "I was there, at the concert!" "Do you know what time it is?" "It's almost ten in the morning!" "I looked for you everywhere after the concert." "Yeah, well, but I was there!" "You stopped going to the University, you practically don't show up at the studio anymore, you come home drunk every single day, you lie!" "I'm just more focused on my own stuff." "Focused on your own stuff?" "!" "Drinking like a fish and coming home high!" "I don't see anything wrong with that!" "What's going on, Gil?" "Give me a break, Otávio!" "Damn it!" "Get real man, you're becoming an alcoholic!" "By the time you reach your thirties you'll be a mess!" "Fuck you, Otávio." "It's my life!" "I can do whatever I want with it!" "Fine!" "Fine!" "So you take this life of yours and get it as far away from me 'cause I'm not going to watch you destroy your life." "Man, you're turning into a fucking boring old man!" "Gee, I missed you so much, kid!" "And I missed you!" "Let me look at you!" "You're gorgeous!" "Wow!" "I missed this house so bad, aunt." "This place smells like my childhood." "Do you want a piece of cake?" "I sure do?" "I missed being spoiled too!" "Have you heard about your uncle?" "Yeah, I have." "Are you alright?" "I am!" "I am now!" "Sit down!" "Listen, I'm not going to leave you alone anymore, okay?" "Where are you living?" "I'm living someplace nearby." "I mean, I was!" "What do you mean?" "We had an ugly fight!" "I was almost married!" "What?" "You, Gil!" "Married?" "I had been living with somebody for a long time!" "Practically married!" "You're different, you grew up Gil!" "Can I show you something?" "What?" "Wow!" "Look at that!" "You haven't touched a thing?" "The funny thing is that it seems" "I'm entering the room of somebody I know really well, but I am no longer familiar with any of this!" "I've come into this room a lot in the past few years!" "You have no idea how much I've missed you." "But we're going to make up for the lost time, right?" "Right!" "Hi, Otávio, I'm sorry to show up at this hour..." "Did something happen?" "You're saying you left Gil alone?" "That this is going to make you a bit more artistic!" "You drink in the morning, in the afternoon, in the evening, at night." "It surely was going to end in shit, you are brainless." "No matter how hard I try, I can't understand you!" "You fill up on alcohol and never think of the consequences!" "I can't understand how your parents don't beat the crap out of you." "I think you need some shit to happen, some serious shit, to make you understand!" "What the hell is that?" "My apologies!" "Okay, listen," "I know it looks like some sort of Japanese oblation," "I wish there were more candles over there." "I wish there were five thousand torches scattered around, but I had only those two!" "Well, it's my way of apologizing!" " You're drunk, aren't you?" " No!" "Do you want to get me killed?" "Do you want me to have a heart attack?" "Why?" "Damn it, I thought you were dead!" "I thought something had happened to you!" "Man!" "So this is a sign that you still love me, right?" "Listen, Otávio," "I know I've been lost, dazzled," "I know I've been a total ass, but I don't want you to send me away!" "Gil, it's not up to me!" "It entirely depends on what you do with your life!" "Ok, so I promise you I'll change my ways." "I just can't lose you!" "You're crazy, aren't you?" "Crazy." "I love you you son of a bitch!" "Come, come here, sit down!" "Have a seat, Otávio!" "It's not like that!" "He's a ninja, man!" "Those two little chairs, got it?" "You are really a pain, you know?" "I'm a pain?" "!" "I panicked, you know?" "I think it was because that was the best night of my life, you see, and I was living with that constant doubt" ""Am I gay?" "Am I not gay?"" "It was hard!" "But the important thing is that was the best night of my life." "It's funny, isn't it?" "It's funny to come back here, to the very same spot" "where in my opinion we had our first night." "This is practically an attempt at holding, at capturing happiness." "Funny how I even remember the smell of this place!" "And the kiss do you remember?" "I don't need to remember the kiss because it has never left from here!" "It's still here!" "What's new?" "My aunt and I reconciled!" "Really?" "!" "Yeah!" " Seriously?" "!" " Seriously!" " And how was it?" " It was great, man!" "I got there and we had a cup of coffee." "She hadn't touched or moved a single thing in my room." "It was exactly how it was supposed to be." "So I scheduled dinner with her so that she can meet you." "It was awesome!" "Are you crazy, Gil?" "!" "Dinner so that she can meet me?" "Do you think I'm going?" "No way!" "Oh, come on, Otávio!" "Don't be silly!" "You're clueless!" "I'm clueless?" "Come on, man!" "This isn't how things work, man!" " The world isn't like that!" " Of course it is!" "Pay attention: you are with me and I am with you and you're going to spend your entire life without meeting my aunt, is that it?" "It really means something to you, doesn't it?" "Alright sir, I'll go!" " Will you, really?" " I will!" " Will you, really?" " I will, damn it!" "Will you, really?" " Is your aunt really here?" " Of course she is!" "She is having us over for dinner!" "That window over there is my bedroom window!" "This is so not going to work!" " Give me that key!" " Cheer up, man!" "I'll go talk to her and be right back to get you, ok?" "Relax!" "Let go!" "So, where is she?" "Back in the car." "There is only one thing:" "it's not a she." "It's a he!" "His name is Otávio!" "What?" "Look, I know it might seem a little weird to you but you'll see it's no big deal." "I'll bring him here, you will love him!" "So, let's go?" "Are you serious?" "!" "I'm serious!" "I'm telling you, man, my aunt is great!" " Hold my hand." " No!" "No!" "No!" "Don't hold my hand!" "Oh, Otávio!" "Don't be ridiculous!" "Don't hold my hand!" "Hold my hand!" "No, no!" "I'm not holding hands!" "Aunt Leila..." "Otávio!" "Nice to meet you!" "Gil talks a lot about you." "It's a pleasure!" "Come!" "Come, Otávio," "have a seat!" "Aunt Leila?" "Are you going to be with that long face the whole time?" "It will pass!" "You promise?" "Give me some time!" "Ok!" "Your aunt hated me, right?" " What?" "!" " Your aunt hated me!" "Oh, Otávio!" "Came in and left!" "Went to the bathroom" "Of course not, man." "She went to the kitchen to get the food." "Are you crazy?" "Relax!" "She's never seen me bring anyone here!" " Is my hair messed up?" " What?" " Is my hair messed up?" " It was." "I fixed it!" "Look, there she is!" "What's that?" "The beans you like!" "Oh my god!" "Holy Mary!" "Let me help you!" "Delicious!" "Wow!" "Man, you have no idea my aunt is a fantastic cook!" "This chicken is the best thing on the planet!" "You have no idea!" " It all looks great!" " Doesn't it?" "!" " Great job!" " Thank you!" "By the way, here is the deal:" "you have to come over one of these days to try the Japanese food Otávio prepares!" "You have no idea how good it is!" "Come on!" "Don t exaggerate!" "I'm not exaggerating you know how good your are!" "I prepare normal Japanese food!" "No way!" "And you have all of those knives..." "Excuse me!" "My blood pressure." "Aunt, is everything ok?" "More or less!" "Give me some time!" "Would you rather we came back some other day?" "I do!" "Apologize to Otávio for me." "Today is not a good day." "Ok!" "Are you feeling sick?" "Yes!" "Do you want to go to he doctor?" "No!" "Don't worry." "You can go!" "Okay!" "Kisses!" "I think we'd better go." "She's not feeling well." "Not feeling well?" "!" "Shouldn't we take her to he doctor?" " Let's go!" " Did your aunt hate me?" "!" "No, relax!" "It was weird but she will get used to it with time." " I'm so embarrassed, man!" " What?" "!" " Open it!" " Wait, man!" "Open it, man!" "Listen, are you going to get upset?" "It's the first time she's seen you, man!" "I just want to go home, Gil!" "Oh, I can't believe it!" "I'm so embarrassed, man!" "What are you ashamed of?" "Listen, she's just found out that I'm with you, she's just met you for the first time, at the same time." "How do you want her to act?" "I want you to start the car and I want us to go home." "Can we do that?" "Are you pissed?" "Start the car and let's go!" "I can't believe it, man!" "I love this place, Lígia." "Rio de Janeiro is indeed beautiful, isn't it?" "Ihh, why are you making that face?" "Turn off the camera!" "Come on, give me just one smile." "Hi Leila!" "I'm so sorry to stop by without warning." "Can I talk to you?" "Sure, come on in!" "Excuse me!" " Have a seat!" " Thank you!" "Look," "I wanted you to know that I really care about Gil, and if I have to stay away from him so that you guys can get along, so be it." "I'm glad you came back!" "I'm glad." "We have to talk!" "Good!" "Good!" "Listen," "I'd like to know if there is any chance that you'll accept my relationship with Gil." "Leila, we get along really well." "We love each other!" "There's no way!" "What is it?" "Is it the difference of age?" "Is it because I'm older than him?" "What's the problem?" "There's just no way!" "There isn't, there isn't!" "Why?" "You are being too harsh!" "Why isn't there a way?" "Leila, Gil and I... we really love each other." "We've built a nice, solid relationship." "We're growing up as men, as human beings." "Can't you try to see this from a different angle?" "A different point of view?" "No, Otávio, I can't!" "There is no other angle!" "There is no other point of view!" "There isn't!" " Of course there is!" " No!" "There is!" "What is it?" "Is it because we're both men?" "Is that what this is about?" "What is it, Leila?" "What is Lígia's picture doing here?" "Lígia is my sister!" "What?" "!" "Are you telling me that Lígia is your sister?" "Yeah!" "Geez, you were a little a girl!" "I was nine years old when you were together." "Where is Lígia?" "Where is Lígia, Leila?" "She's dead, Otávio!" "Lígia died over ten years ago!" "And Gil was just a little boy when she passed away, and I took him in so I could raise him." "Are you telling me that Gil is Lígia's son?" "I'm telling you that when Lígia left you she was expecting a child." "Your child!" "Gil is your son!" "Your son!" "What kind of joke is that, Leila?" "She was frightened, she was scared!" "Our father didn't want her to have the baby, he thought you weren't going to take responsibility for it!" "She moved to Minas." "Gil is your son!" "What are you saying, Leila?" "You're kidding, right?"