"Daddy!" "Hi, Bibi!" "What's wrong?" "Why are you crying?" "Mom won't let me help her." "And I want to make the cake with Mom." "But Bibi... you know you can't help Mom." "All you do is make a big mess." "So?" "What a day!" "But everybody goes crazy on Friday." "What's my son up to?" "Is he kicking again?" "He's talking to me!" "Let's have a quiet weekend... nice and cosy." "FEAR OF FEAR" "Bibi!" " Let's play doctor." " Oh yes, Mom!" "C'mon!" "Examine me all over." "Everything hurts." "What's wrong, Mom?" "It still hurts here and here." "Am I that sick?" "No, Bibi." "No." "On the contrary, you're perfectly healthy." "Come give Dad a checkup, too!" "Why don't we go for a walk, Kurt?" "It would be so nice." "I feel like walking forever." "And you and Bibi..." "We wanted to spend a quiet weekend, Margot." "And I have to work." "I have tons of math to do." "I don't want to go for a walk either." "Walking's boring." "We wanted to bake a cake, Bibi." "Yes, let's bake a cake." "Can I stir the batter?" "Yes, dear, you can stir the batter." "But you just baked one yesterday." "Yes, yesterday." "So?" "Lt'll be eaten." "Cake never goes to waste." "That's alright." "I'll clean up later." "Keep stirring." "Should we make it with apples or plums?" "Plums, Mom, okay?" "With lots of sugar!" "Your tummy's awfully big now." "Soon you won't be able to move at all." "Don't worry." "I'll just call you and you'll help me." "Then everything will be fine." "It's time Jan finally came out." "You told me he'd be ready soon." "You'll have to wait a few more weeks." "Besides, we don't know if it's going to be a Jan." "But I want a Jan and so does Daddy." "And Grandma and Lore do, too." "I'm going up to Grandma's." "No!" "Stay here with me." "I'll read to you, or..." "I just wanted to go up and tell Grandma I baked a cake." "I'm sorry, Bibi." "I shouldn't have shouted, but..." "I love you so much!" "Bibilein... my baby!" "Go visit Grandma." "Tell her you baked a cake." "So this is me." "Me." "Me?" "What is that?" "What is that, me?" "Now..." "I'm hysterical." "I'm hysterical because I'm pregnant." "Tell me I'm being hysterical, please." "Two of you on my lap, even a strongman would collapse." "Your back hurting again?" "Yes." "But it doesn't matter." "As long as I can feel myself, I'm fine." "Pardon?" "Oh, nothing." "Kurt!" "I think it's time." "What, already?" "It's three weeks early." "Bibi was early, too." "Bibi was early, too." "Should I call Mother or Lore?" "No!" "They'll find out tomorrow." "That's soon enough." "The hospital, then?" "No thanks, I'll call myself." "Hello, Katherine Hospital?" "This is Margot Staudte." "I'm having contractions every 10 minutes." "May I come now?" "Thanks." "It's starting again." "I'm going insane." "I'm going crazy." "It can't be." "You can't let that happen, God." "What'll become of my kids if I go crazy?" "Heavens, I have two kids and I'm going insane." "What's wrong, Margot?" "Have you gone crazy?" "You've woken us all up." "I need my sleep, and so do you." "Margot, what's wrong?" "Dr. Auer?" "Forgive me, please." "This is Kurt Staudte." "It's Margot." "I don't know what's wrong with her." "She..." "She's acting strange." "That's very kind." "Thank you, Doctor." "What's the matter, Mrs. Staudte?" "Well, everything appears to be fine." "I'll give you a tranquilliser." "It'll help you sleep." "Come see me tomorrow morning." "Oh, Mom!" "Dr. Auer was here last night." " Something wrong with the kids?" " No, no, it's nothing." "Please sit down." "Margot felt unwell." "Dr. Auer says she's still weak and has to rest." "What she needs is a proper meal." "She won't eat the food we bring her." "Sure I will, you and Mother cook very well." "But sometimes I just can't eat." "Bibi's exactly the same, a fussy eater and... she'll be just like you." "It's not healthy." "Can you baby-sit while Margot sees Dr. Auer?" "Why do you even ask?" "Of course I can." "She and Bibi can eat with us." "We have leftover duck and cabbage." "Let me reassure you, Mrs. Staudte." "Physically, everything's fine." "You're a little anaemic, but don't let that worry you." "You need rest." "Rest and more rest." "Lots of milk, lettuce, fruit... a thick soup now and then, and it won't happen again." "NERVOUS SYSTEM" "I..." "You know..." "Recently I've been feeling... scared, it's very strange." "I have no idea why, and..." "Well, you're a sensitive young woman." "Very sensitive, in fact." "Sometimes the autonomic nervous system acts up." "But many people are like that, there's no cause for concern." "I've prescribed you some Valium." "Take it whenever you feel on edge." "But not more than one pill at a time." "I know I can trust you." "Good-bye, and don't worry." "Good-bye." "Next, please." "I don't want this dress, this one or any other!" "Help me!" "Forgive me, I..." "I was startled." "Mommy, let's go." "I'm scared." "Who was that man?" "Bibi, be quiet." "Why, Mommy, who was he?" "Tell me!" "That was just Mr. Bauer." "He looked at us so funny." "He has funny eyes." "Mr. Bauer is sick." "What do you mean, sick?" "Why isn't he in bed?" "Mr. Bauer's sick in the head." "I'd like to take Bibi... out of kindergarten." "What?" "It took us weeks to find a place and now..." "We'll look stupid." "But it's like a factory." "It has no soul." "Can you imagine?" "I dropped by yesterday." "They were all sitting there, arms crossed." "They weren't allowed to speak." "I asked the teacher, "What's going on?"" "She actually answered that the kids had been mean." "Mean!" "Now I ask you, how can four-year-olds be mean?" "Kids can be very mean." "You know perfectly well." "Anyway, they have to sit still in school." "They'll be well prepared." "Now, please." "If I'm going to pass my exam, I need to concentrate." "Tell me, would you prefer to stay with me... or go to kindergarten tomorrow?" "I'm not really sure, but..." "I have to go tomorrow." "We're making Chinese lanterns, and the day after that..." "That's alright, Bibi." "I understand." "Go play." "Karli... what a surprise!" "I'm off today." "I thought I'd go swimming." "I've been watching you for 10 minutes." "You swim and swim..." "Swimming's good for you." "All doctors say that." "All of them." "I come every morning." "Sure." "But like that..." "That's not normal." "Not normal?" "What do you mean?" "What do you mean, it's not normal?" "Don't get upset." "I just mean, back and forth like that, as fast as you can... it's hard on you." "It helps me forget everything." "Forget... everything." "I'm sorry I shouted." "That doesn't matter, Margot." "I don't mind." "Karl said you swim every day, tearing along like a madwoman." "You're getting pale and thin." "You need to rest, not to train." "Mother and Lore both think..." "Mother and Lore!" "That's all you ever say." "But all doctors tell you to exercise and..." "Mother's right, and you know it." "A woman with two kids gets enough exercise." "You all complain." "I don't complain." "I know." "But Mother and Lore work themselves to the bone." "You can imagine what they say... with you swimming like a madwoman every day." "You're right, Kurt." "All of you are right." "But I can't explain it." "The fear..." "Fear of..." "I never learned a word that could express it." "Anyway, it's nothing really." "I have to be doing something, constantly." "I have to keep myself busy." "Otherwise I look in the mirror and..." "You just said it's nothing." "You should take the pills Dr. Auer prescribed." "And you need rest." "Everything'll be fine." "Your eyes, Mrs. Staudte." "Your eyes." "Take care of yourself." "Don't talk to me, Mr. Bauer." "Is there someone else... you can discuss it with?" "There's nothing..." "I have to discuss with anyone, Mr. Bauer." "Nothing at all." "A pity, Mrs. Staudte." "A pity for you." "It's important to have someone... with whom you can discuss it." "Christa!" "It's Margot, your old friend Margot." "I have to see you." "I'd like to see you." "I need you." "I need a change." "Thank you!" "Tomorrow or the day after." "Yes, I'll let you know." "See you." "Please, not again!" "I've nothing against it." "A change will do you good." "Christa will cheer you up." "It'll be a change of pace." "Thank you." "Stop it." "You're being..." "Forgive me, it's just that I'm so happy." "It's very nice of you to pick me up, you know." "Well you wouldn't have come home otherwise." "Yes I would, Kurt." "I'd have come home soon." "Really?" "You're my husband." "I love you." "My place is with you." "I like hearing that, you know." "You hardly ever say it." "Why don't you ever ask how I am?" "Whether I'm happy?" "Why should I?" "I can see you're fine." "And happy?" "We'll have lots of time to be happy after my exam." " Are you laughing at me?" " Oh, no, Kurt." "Why should I laugh at you?" "Where would I get the strength?" "Strength?" "What do you mean, strength?" "I don't understand." "Neither do I, Kurt." "Neither do I." "There's a lot I don't understand." "I don't want you to fear me." "You really are strange." "Now you're talking about fear." "I wish I knew what goes on in your head." "My children..." "My children have a sick mother... a stranger." "That can't be." "I want you to love me, Kurt... to desire me, to wrench me from my despair." "I want to hear myself scream, to know I exist." "You know, our math professor... is a real bastard." "He constantly puts us down... simply for the fun of it." "Just for fun." "Today he told someone:" ""If you don't want to do any work, Müller..." ""at least don't use up our oxygen."" "What can you do?" "You're so far away from me." "So far, Kurt." "So far away." "Pardon?" "Nothing." "I didn't say anything." "I also need a laxative." "Hello, Dr. Merck." "May I talk to you?" "Hello, Mrs. Staudte." "What can I do for you?" "Please, I..." "Come with me." "I need some Valium." "Now!" "Right away!" "I can't give you Valium without a prescription." "It's the law." "The law!" "You know Dr. Auer prescribes it." "I didn't have time to see him." "I'll bring it later." "Please, I need it right away!" "Forgive my asking, but why do you take so much?" "An attractive, healthy young woman." "You talk and talk, but what I need is help." "Don't you see... the state I'm in?" "Come in my office." "The others needn't hear." "What is it, Mrs. Staudte?" "Ever since I've known you, you've been happy." "I admired you." "What's the matter?" "You're no less pretty, on the contrary." "I like your round eyes... your clear skin." "Something's wrong." "You can trust me." "I'll give you the Valium." "For you I'd go to prison." "But please, tell me why you need it." "You have such pretty hair." "It smells so lovely." "I think I should go now." "You mustn't blame yourself." "If you need to talk to someone, call me." "Thank you." "I'm fine, Dr. Merck." "Mom, you look so pretty." "Are you going out with Dad?" "No, I just wanted to look nice." "Just to look nice." "Mom, will you paint my fingernails, too?" "Yes, Bibi." "I'll do anything you want." "Anything." "Come along." "What is it?" "There's that man again." "Come along, Bibi." "Come." "It's funny, Mom." "You usually get mad when I do this." "Everything's changed." "My God, if you were older and we could talk... then..." "I made potato pancakes." "Here, for you." "Kurt likes them made with new potatoes." "May I come in?" "Please, of course." "Bibi, what are you doing?" "Putting on nail polish!" "How can you let her?" "You're all dolled up like for the opera." "A fine state of affairs!" "Come to the bathroom, we'll take it off." "Mom made herself pretty, and I want to be pretty, too." "Go ahead, then." "Have you at least done some cooking?" "Actually I haven't cooked anything today." "I was going to make us scrambled eggs... and I have a jar of baby food for Jan." "Scrambled eggs, baby food." "That's not a meal!" "Besides, baby food is so expensive." "Kurt works hard for his money." "The child needs spinach, carrots... not scrambled eggs." " Take Lore as an example." " You look like Lore's cooking." "You're such a fool." "You think you're so chic, but you're killing the kids." "You don't care, you don't give a damn!" "But, Mother... you know I always cook a full meal." "It's just that today..." "Today I didn't have the strength." "Today..." "Fine." "But warm up the pancakes for Kurt." "And don't let Bibi do as she pleases." "I was eating lunch and reading the paper." "They're putting on The Threepenny Opera." "I'd love to see it with you." "Then have some wine in the Ratskeller." "But I know it's not possible." "It would be nice, though." "Very nice in fact." "Don't call me!" "Never ever!" "Don't call me!" "It's impossible." "Everything is impossible." "I know it, I can't." "I can't, do you understand?" "Please leave me alone." "Dr. Merck, please." "Hurry!" "It's me, Doctor." "I..." "It's alright." "You don't have to explain." "Come over." "Come see me." "That's the easiest." "Come in the back." "I'll be waiting." "Come in, my dear." "But, look." "May I?" "So, let's make ourselves comfortable." "Thank you." "I'm so glad that... you came to me." "After my phone call, I worried you might be capricious... and I wouldn't like that." "Though from you, I'd accept it." "Let's drink to that." "Have a seat." "I don't want to force you, my dear." "But I want you to come to me whenever you feel the need." "I know... it's you." "Dr. Merck, isn't it?" "But I don't need you anymore." "I don't need you anymore, Dr. Merck." "I know what I need now." "Cognac, that's all." "Alcohol is what I need." "Alcohol and nothing more." "I did some shopping for you at the market." "Mother said you'd run out of vegetables, so I brought some." "They had cabbage and cauliflower, only 25 cents." "Lore!" "I don't like cabbage." "Cabbage stinks." "I don't like cauliflower either." "And Kurt doesn't like cabbage, and Bibi can't stand it." "There's always Jan." "Maybe he'll like your cabbage, your stinky cabbage!" "You've been drinking, Margot." "Drinking in the middle of the day." "The middle of the day!" "Yes, Lore." "I'm drunk." "In broad daylight." "And I didn't ask your permission." "I simply forgot, Lore." "I simply forgot." "I'm going to tell Mother, Margot." "Mother and Kurt." "Good-bye." "You're so quiet." "I'm eating." "You're eating." "Those witches turned you against me." "That's why you're so quiet." "Admit it." "Just admit it." "Tell me what's bothering you." "They just said you were drinking." "I told them it's our business." "Now quit nagging, I had a tough day." "I have to study." "They're always dropping in, uninvited... sticking their noses into my life." "Into everything." "The way we raise the kids, what we eat." "Couldn't we find a place on our own?" "Even this furniture... none of it's ours." "No, Margot." "No." "Can we buy you anything at the store?" "No thanks, I'll go out later." "You're so pale." "You can't go out like that." "Pale?" " I don't know." " Yes, pale." "I'll bring you an aspirin." "Must be all that drinking." "I don't need your aspirin, or anything from you." "It's me." "I need you." "I'm afraid I'm going crazy." "You're quite extraordinary, you know?" "We'll always be very happy." "I want to stay with you... forever." "I'm happy with you." "I feel good." "Yes, I'll just stay with you." "I'll speak to Kurt... and tell him I'm leaving him." "You love me, don't you?" "Of course." "I've always liked you." "And that, just now, was lovely." "Very lovely, in fact." "It's not often that lovely." "But..." "But?" " What's wrong?" " Watch the kids." "Call Kurt, quick!" "You have to help me, Doctor." "I cut myself." " I'll dress it." " It's bleeding a lot." "Why did you do it, Margot?" "Why?" "This isn't like you." "This is blackmail." "There's no reason for it." "It has nothing to do with you." "It was an accident." "I slipped." "Alright, then." "I'll take Mrs. Staudte home, Miss Klett." "Look after things." "Of course, Doctor." "Of course." "Was it anything serious?" "Your wife cut herself." "I dressed the wound." " She's fine." " Well, thanks." " Thank you very much." " My pleasure." "Tell me what's going on." "What's wrong with you?" "Nothing Kurt." "It's nothing, really." "I cut my arm on a piece of glass, that's all." "Go to your room, Bibi." "You cut yourself!" "Expect us to believe that?" "I didn't mean to." "I didn't mean to." "I saw her leaving the pharmacy." "The back way." "What were you doing with Dr. Merck?" "She walked right by me without noticing." "Alright then." "Leave us alone." "Fine, but don't let her twist you around her finger again." "Well?" "Something's been going on lately." "You're not the same." "Tell me, how did you cut your arm?" "Was it an accident?" "Or did you try..." "Tell me, Margot." "Should we see a doctor?" "I'll go with you." "I won't let you down." "Hello." "They come and go." "Have we met?" " I want to go." " No, Margot, we're staying." "Mrs. Staudte?" "Please come in." "CONSULTING ROOM" "Mr. Staudte." "May I have a word?" "What did he say?" "Nothing, dear." "Nothing, really." "He thinks I wanted to kill myself." "But it's not true." "I simply wanted to feel the pain." "I wanted to take my mind off my fear." "Here, dear, your Valium." "So you'll sleep." "I'm feeling better." "I'm so grateful to you." "So grateful." "You don't have to be grateful, dear." "Really." "Are you going?" "I'm just going up to see Mom." "I'll be right back." "Alright?" "Yes, Kurt." "It's alright." "So?" "What did the doctor say?" "What's wrong with Margot?" "I don't know." "He'll send Dr. Auer a report." "You're lying." "You know something." "Just look at yourself." " How do I look?" " Distraught." "Yes, you look distraught." "You can tell us." "We're your family, aren't we?" "Tell us." "You can't keep it bottled up inside." "She's not well." "The doctor says she's not well." "He said... schizophrenia." "She's crazy." "I always knew something was wrong with her." "Well, always taking Valium, and everything else." "What else did you expect?" "And all that cuddling and kissing with the kids." "It's not normal!" "Hold on." "It's normal for a mother to be tender with her kids." "Normal?" "Who's normal?" "We're the normal ones!" "And one day she'll burn the place down, believe me." "For you." "For me?" "Why bring me flowers?" "I thought since you're not feeling well, I'd make you happy." "Karli, what are you doing?" "I brought Margot some flowers." "Some flowers, that's all." "That wasn't necessary." "Not the least necessary." "If you want them, please." "It's the thought that counts." "I don't want flowers that weren't meant for me." "So, Karli, what do we do now?" "Let her bitch." "She'll get over it." "Like to come in?" "Have a cognac?" "No, I better go." "Otherwise there'll be problems." "But I want you to know, if you need me, I'll be there." "Look, Bibi... from Uncle Karli." "I think Uncle Karli really likes you." "I want my mommy!" "I want my mommy!" "I want my mommy!" "Maybe she's not home." "I want my mommy!" " What is it?" " Why doesn't she open?" "I was just there." "My God, what's wrong?" "What has Bibi done?" "Nothing, really." "She fell and cut herself." "It wasn't our fault." " Get the key." " I have it here." "Just in case." "Mommy!" "Where's my mommy?" "She ought to be ashamed of herself!" "Just look at her." "Music and cognac!" "The kids could die for all she cares." "Bibilein!" "Dearest." "What's wrong?" "I'm bleeding, Mommy, bleeding!" "When will she be finished... her sleeping therapy?" "In 2 or 3 days." "I hope so." "I need someone to talk to." "The sleeping therapy helped, didn't it?" "We'll give you some pills." "You'll see, everything will be fine." "I have a deep depression... and I need my pills to pull out of it." "Can you hear me?" "Edda?" "She can't hear me." "Edda is sad." "Edda is sad." "And I'm happy." "There's no indication of schizophrenia." "Your wife is deeply depressed, but we can treat that with drugs." "Really, there's no sign of schizophrenia." "And... can Margot come home soon?" "Any time." "She just has to take her pills." "She can live like any normal person." "She should stay another week or two, but then..." "You're a healthy young woman, remember that." "You're healthy." "It's true, you're slightly depressive, but we can treat that... with drugs and psychogenic training." "You mustn't be afraid you'll go insane... as you keep telling yourself." "You're simply more sensitive than others." "You have to look after yourself." "Read, go to school... or look for a job, earn your own money." "Do you have any skills?" "I can type." "There, you see." "And as long as you keep taking the pills..." "Come for a visit, when you have time." "I'll try." "You know how it is." "The kids." "Good-bye." "Karli, what a surprise!" "The front door was open, so I thought..." "Bibi leaves it open when she goes shopping for me." "May I sit down?" "Please do." "What is it?" "Something wrong?" "Not really." "On the other side of the street..." "On the other side..." "That Mr. Bauer, you know... he killed himself, hung himself." "But don't be upset." "I just thought... it's better that I tell you rather than the others." "Thanks, Karli." "I'm not upset." "I'm so calm." "I'm completely calm." "You can leave me alone, really." "FEAR OF FEAR"