"I want to see it." " Nippe..." "No." "We shouldn't look now." " Let's take a look." "No." "Yes." "I have to see it." "This is standard stuff." "I'm just feeling my dead friend's willy." "Mum!" "He's doing it again!" "I hate it!" "Niklas, didn't we agree about the photos?" "The kids print them out at school, and Saara is embarrassed." "I'm keeping up with the times." "I got six new followers." "How many have you got?" " You don't even do sports." "Hey..." "What was so good about it?" " About what?" "My album!" " Your album?" "Everything." " Okay." "Nippe!" "What's up?" "I'm good." "A little busy." "A lot of stuff going on." "Out for a jog?" "Well, why not." "Does that guy look familiar?" " Congratulations on the new album." "Well done, Tuomas." " Are you wearing long johns?" "REUNION 2" " THE BACHELOR PARTY" "Hey!" "Keep going." " Look at him." "Our Tuomas, getting married." "Who would've thought?" "Your time will come too, Antti." " Yeah." "Of course." "Actually, I'm working on it." " Really?" "Speed dating." "40 women over one date." "Hey..." "I suggested that to you like three years ago." "Guys!" "The first reviews are coming soon." "Guess who's coming to Tuomas' bachelor party?" "Willy." "Willy?" "Oh, Willy Kallonen!" "Really?" "Yes." "He promised to bring along some strippers." "No one does that anymore, do they?" "More than one stripper?" " He's loaded." "Wait a second." "I want my best friends to hear this." "Mirkku, shoot." "Not one good review?" "Or even mediocre?" "But hey..." "You're getting married." "Focus on that." "Pull strength from that." "Right?" "Tuomas Lilja - the musical equivalent of haemorrhoids" "Niklas, you have a visitor!" " What?" "Antti." " How do I look?" "I have that date." "Jaana, I'll take it from here." "No, I asked her to stay." "I need a female perspective." "Hi, I'm Antti Kulmala, a 38-year-old bachelor from Southern Finland." "Well?" "Why do you talk like a beauty queen?" "Don't you have nametags?" " On a date?" "It's a speed date. 40 women, three minutes each." "Nippe told me." "Well?" "Is this over the top?" "How can that be over the top?" "What do you normally wear?" "My orange T-shirt." "That's perfect." "You're ready." "What time does it start?" " It isn't until tomorrow." "I'm not an idiot." " Okay." "Good luck." "You're bleeding." "Did you use the shaver again?" "Goddammit." " Are you okay?" "Seeing blood makes me feel dizzy these days." "It's an age thing." " Thanks." "I feel like I don't know you anymore." "It was just a magazine article from long ago." "I helped Antti out." "Niklas..." "I want to tell you something." "But I need you to focus." " Look, that's Willy Kallonen." "I used to know him." "How did he get tickets?" "How should I know?" " He may come to the bachelor party." "If he's still alive by then." "I couldn't tell him." "It isn't just that." "No!" "I have to go." "Bye." "I have that..." "Here comes the gong!" "How many times a day... a week should a man go to the gym?" "As many times as he likes." " What would be good for me?" "Take your paper, your pen, and your drink with you." "Hi." "I'm Antti." "Antti Kulmala." "This is my first time here." "Hopefully not the last." "Or actually, it would be better if this was the last time." "One guinea pig was left in the microwave oven..." "They're kind of cute." "Stegosaurus, mainly." "Do you like dinosaurs?" "Do you like dogs?" "Yeah." "I took a class on dog trimming." "Your name is Inka?" "Do you come from an Indian background?" "No?" "Here comes the gong!" "You're beautiful as you are, but an Indian..." "Inka." "Indian." "Excuse me." "There must've been a mistake." "No one ticked my box." " That happens." "Come again next Saturday." "I'll give you a discount." "What?" "There were over 30 single women, and no one wants to see me again?" "Yeah." "I was brushed off 30 times!" "I'm sorry." "One more thing." "You have the contact details for all the women." "Hypothetically, how much would they cost?" "I can't break that trust." "I have to know what's wrong with me." "I can tell you that for free." "You did what?" " I stole them." "Have you called the women?" "just three so far." "I pretended to be a telemarketer." " What did they say?" "They didn't buy anything." "One subscribed to a newspaper." "What's up, shitfaces?" "Want to get plastered?" "Willy!" "Great to see you!" "What an awesome car!" "Well..." "It's nice." "Listen, Willy... or Henrik..." "Why don't you park on the marked spot?" "It was in the e-mail." "Good old Nippe, always nit-picking." "Nippe!" "Stop nit-picking." "But still..." "Do you have a pink shirt as agreed?" "No." "Does the driver speak Finnish?" "Can you please drive this car to the marketplace?" "The marked place." " I'll take care of it." "Björn!" "This way." " Willy is such a cool guy." "He could've gone anywhere, but he wanted to come here." "Enough with the raving." " You're just jealous." "Of him?" "Why?" " He's got everything." "At that rate, he won't live to see 40." "At least he's lived." "And I haven't?" " Hush, they're coming." "Can't we talk about this?" "You've been yelling at me about the rings!" "You didn't even look at them!" " You haven't listened to my album." "Stop going on about that." " Let me look at them!" "Wow." "They're fabulous, and probably expensive." "How do we pay for them when my album doesn't sell?" "Should we call this off?" " Yeah, we'll come back later." "I've had a load of shit dumped on me!" "You don't know what it feels like to read those reviews." "Why do you read them then?" " It's part of my job!" "And one more thing." "If I ever get positive feedback again " "I'd like it to be from someone who's listened to the album!" "Abort!" "just tell the truth!" "Truth?" "That sounds strange coming from your mouth." "Here we go!" " Do you even love me anymore?" "Of course." " Then show it!" "Am I not trying?" "You don't think of anyone but yourself!" "I actually thought that you wanted to change!" "Tuomas!" "Surprise!" "Tuomas is supposed to have a bachelor party, but we can come back..." "Willy!" "Unbelievable!" "Go." "We can fight later." "Hell..." "I've missed you." " I've missed you, too." "Why are you sulking?" "That's no way to get married." "I know what will help." " I'm not doing that." "And neither should you." " But you dare to get married." "Are you okay?" " Hey, which of us is sulking?" "Look at this bird." "Who's that?" " Is she single?" "Miss G, Carola Hahlqvist." " Why does her name sound familiar?" "She's the biggest buyer in Finland." "If she distributed your album, you'd get a gold record." "She's not single." "Is she single?" "Could she really do it?" "Remember that triple platinum Christmas album?" "Was that her doing?" " This lady likes her toys big." "Hey, Tuomas is getting married." "Yeah." "I was just trying to help." "What?" "If you're not going for Miss G, can I..." "Be my guest." "Nippe..." "Thanks." "You weren't offended earlier, were you?" "I was just kidding." "You aren't always nit-picking." "Comprendo, amigo?" "Hasta luego." "Don't talk bullshit." " Okay." "What you did was so wrong and so inconsiderate, even for you." "I know." "What do you want me to say?" "I'm sorry." "Truly." "You should apologise to Tuomas." "He's actually thinking about fucking your friend for triple platinum." "Tuomas?" " Yeah." "Have some decency." "Comprendo, amigo?" " Si." "Okay, I'll give it a try." " Yes!" "Go, Tuomas!" "Shit, I thought that Nippe knew about me and Jaana." "What do you mean?" " That we've fucked." "What?" "It was a long time ago, but that doesn't make it okay." "But I'll grab us some drinks." "It was just a spare." "Maybe I could lead Miss G to believe that we could do something - but then nothing would happen." "Has Willy fucked Jaana?" " There'd be nothing wrong with that." "What did you say?" "Willy told me that he's fucked Jaana." "No." " Yes." "What are we going to say to Nippe?" "Nothing." "Nothing?" " Willy is our friend." "And Nippe isn't?" " What am I not?" "Nothing." "You're not finished with your beer." "Willy has fucked Jaana." "He left in style." "Did someone take off his bowling shoes?" "People tend to walk out in them." " This one won't." "Niklas..." " Don't." "We have to talk about it." "Okay, I made a mistake." "No." "A mistake is forgetting your keys inside the car - or getting Grandma's pills mixed up." "But hiding the sausage of a childhood friend on a seminar trip - is not a mistake." "Why don't you go to the funeral?" "You knew him better than I did." "Hi, honey." "What did you hear Mummy and Daddy say?" "Like from the beginning?" "Don't ask. just drive." "Hey..." "I know what you're going through." "The same thing happened to me." "Except that the guy didn't die." "But how many men are so lucky - that just when someone has fucked their wife, he dies?" "They probably wouldn't be pall-bearers." "You can thank Malena for that." " Who?" "Willy's wife." "Didn't you know?" "How should I have known?" "I barely knew the guy." "She asked me first, but my lower back has been acting up." "I can't risk spraining it." " Where's Tuomas?" "He's not coming." " Not coming?" "I'm not coming." " I told you so." "I'm getting married tomorrow." " It's not that." "He was asked to perform, just like at our wedding." "But now he can't do either because he's lost his voice." "I have!" "Tuomas..." "Even Nippe is coming - and Willy fucked his wife with that enormous dick." "What?" "Just a figure of speech." "You've been invited to a funeral, and you can't refuse." "Okay then." "But I won't sing." "We'll bring him back on time." "I promise." "Don't worry." "We'll persuade him to sing." "We'll cheer him up." "On our way to a funeral?" "Where are we?" "You've taken good care of your car." "Mum washed it this morning." " No wonder this seat is wet." "Same here." "Why didn't you go to a car wash?" "Mum does it for free." "Do you think Willy will be cremated or buried?" "He seared himself on a sauna stove as a kid." "I bet he'll be buried." "Where did the nickname Willy come from?" "Guys?" "Guess what I brought along?" "Tuomas doesn't want that right now." "The record company said that this is the best inner sleeve ever." "Check out these colours." "A beautiful picture." "What the fuck?" "Is this already on sale?" "Nice going, Antti." " Hey..." "Okay." "Give it to me." "Let's forget about this." "What?" "Did it hit something?" "No." "Pull over." "I can see the headlines. "Lilja's album is even endangering traffic."" "Antti will take care of this." "Oh my..." "Hi." "Or not." "You and your shitty album!" "This isn't the album's fault, but Antti's!" "Oh my God." "I'm going to die, and Jaana thinks I don't love her." "What's going on?" "Bye." "How did it go?" "just fine." "Did they let us go?" " Yeah." "Sure." "Antti Kulmala, ladies and gentlemen!" "Hats off!" "Well, what did you say to them?" " I told them it was an accident." "Was that enough?" " No, it wasn't." "I know that those guys won't settle for an apology." "What did you promise them?" "Not my gig, I hope?" "Well..." "The thing is that..." "you need to act a little." "Me?" "Act what?" "That you're a war veteran from Afghanistan." "What..." "A war veteran?" "We're going to their club." "It's near here." "You got us invited to their club?" "Are you crazy?" "I froze." "You know me." "When I panic, I'll say anything." "I thought they were going to kill me." "We're taking our friend to a funeral." "He's a war veteran." "From Afghanistan." "Like a peacekeeper, you mean?" " Something like that." "I'm a clerk!" " There's something else." "I may have said that you're a little..." "A little what, Antti?" "Disabled?" " No!" "Of course not." "Injured." " Injured?" "How?" "I can't remember." "I completely blacked out." "You can't remember?" "But they want to show their guns to the war veteran." "Fuck, we're going to die." " Nonsense." "I have to know my goddamn injuries!" " You'll think of something." "Get in, guys." "This game is shit." "The drinks are free." "These guys are chilled out." " Really?" "Look at their dartboard." "It has my face on it." "Maybe they don't like you until they get to know you." "Those girls are strippers, by the way." "Quite a coincidence." "Look at those jugs." "My mum's were like those." "Maybe we could have your bachelor party here." "Cool!" "Let's have a proper party." " Come here." "Thank your new friends, and we'll walk out of here." "Nod if you understand." " We can't." "The boss wants to meet us." "Who?" "He takes war veterans very seriously." "Here are the gentlemen." "What's your name, veteran?" "Huh?" "Pekka." "He told us that Pekka is very interested in our guns." "Guns?" "Are you into guns?" " Yes, he is." "Assault rifles, semi-automatic handguns..." "But this could be the one for you." "This is our rocket launcher." "Let's try this out." "There's a sandpit nearby." "We could test it there." "Pee." " Pee?" "Pee?" " Pee." "Nip..." "Pekka needs to pee." " Thank you." "Thank you, all." "It's been great." "And we won't tell anyone about this." "If we have any payments to settle, we'll take care of them." "You're good men." "When he can't go to a funeral on his own, his buddies help him out." "Let's give a round of applause to these three." "Kläde!" "Come and help this man go to the bathroom." "In the meantime, you two can take it easy." "What?" "Are you okay?" "I know how you feel." "I'm a practical nurse by training." "So I can help you." "First, let's open your belt." "I'll put my fingers on your prostate and try to..." "I'm sorry, I have to..." " I'll try something else." "I'll place my fingers behind your testicles - and squeeze a little." "There we go." "This may come as a surprise, but there's been a terrible misunderstanding." "Damn you!" "Did you have to tell him?" " He was holding my willy!" "What the fuck?" "Help!" "Goddammit." "I had only six payments left of that car." "There went my date invitations." " Hey, there went my best guitar." "Hey..." " What?" "The rings." "Why do you carry those with you?" " Leila's little commitment test." "I should decide which of you will give these to me." "Do that later." "Let's get this funeral over with first." "So it'll be me." "He gave in." "I just pretended to be an injured veteran for a motorcycle club - and your unpaid car was blown up, so let's try to..." "A car, finally!" "Over here!" "Hi." "What's going on?" "We need a ride to the church." " We'll get the flowers from you, too." "Oh my God..." "Excuse me." "The acoustics are terrible." " You'll do fine." "I didn't think there'd be so many people." "I can't see Malena anywhere." "I wonder if she knows about Jaana?" "That may be why she's not here." "You won't say a word to Malena or anyone else." "Let's put Willy in the ground and go home." "What about your bachelor party?" " What?" "So that's what you meant by cheering him up." "No." "No cheering up, no party." "I'm getting married tomorrow." "Exactly." "Today is the last chance." "Dearly beloved." "We're gathered here to lay Terttu to rest." "Terttu?" " We're doing it in the face of God..." "Must be some woman Willy has fucked." "Excuse me." "Madam?" "Excuse me." "I have a little question..." "Excuse me." "This Terttu..." "Is she in that coffin?" "Of course she is." "With Henrik Kallonen?" "Who's that?" "Putting our faith in Christ..." "Excuse me." "Terttu lived a long and fulfilled..." "That went well." "Hey..." "This explains everything." " What?" "Willy's funeral isn't until three." " Goddammit, Antti!" "Sorry." "This got smudged when we ran away." "Well, what shall we do now?" "Should we take a moment of peace and quiet in the chapel?" "Look at yourselves." "We've been through a lot." "This isn't a chapel." " Where are you going?" "Do you think that's..." " No, it's furniture." "Of course it's Willy." "That isn't his style at all." "The wood is way too dark." "He didn't choose it himself." "We've seen enough." "Let's go." "So you really don't remember what it looked like?" "Nippe!" "No!" " Yes." "He looks very..." " Peaceful." "Satisfied." " No..." "Tanned." "Do you think they use make-up?" "The tone is so natural." "For a dead person." "This puts things in perspective." "Better here than there." "Imagine if Willy suddenly bounced up." ""April fools!"" "Damn, I'd freak out." "Sorry." "Guys, you two are my best friends - but now I have to ask you to leave." "This is between Willy and I." "It's between you and the police, so think again." "I have to see it, for the sake of my family's happiness." "I'd like to see it, too." "The last time I saw it was in the eighth grade." "Okay." "Make it quick." "This is standard stuff." "I'm just feeling my dead friend's willy." "Goddammit!" " This is why we didn't tell you." "No man should have to know anything about this." "Now you know." "Let's go." " I have to see it." "Stop it!" " I'm sure it's really not that big." "It just looks big in trousers, like my ski trousers." "I look really big in them, even Jaana told me so." "Help!" "Dear God." "What are you doing?" " No, I..." "Wait." "Fuck!" "A button or something got stuck..." " You can't be serious!" "There are safety pins or something in here." "I have to return this suit on Monday." "Help me." "It's under there." "Where?" " It's stuck underneath his ball!" "Take it out then!" "Oh my..." " Goddammit, if someone saw..." "Can you get it out?" "Can you see it now?" "Wait." "Oh my God!" "This is terrible." " Someone else, grab the cock." "Where is it?" " I'll get it." "It's your button." " What's going on in here?" "There's a simple explanation for all of this." "We're all good friends of Willy." " Dear Lord!" "So she doesn't remember anything?" " We found her on the floor." "Hello." " Hello." "How is our priest?" "She has a concussion and memory loss." "But that's... unfortunate." "I'll go and get ready, so we'll get our friend in the ground." "The priest won't do anything today." "I sent her home." " Did you?" "Right." "It sure was big." " It was." "Huge." "How can Jaana ever..." " I don't know." "I couldn't." "Why didn't you say anything?" " How could I have?" "You saw it yourself!" "What's more, it was at rest." "Imagine when it becomes erect." "I wonder if Jaana was terrified by it." "I would've been." "Guys..." "Good news or bad news first?" "Good." " Bad." "She can't remember anything." "The priest!" "Stop that!" "The bad news is that the doctor sent her home." "I'm going, too." " You can't go!" "This was cancelled because of you." " You have a bachelor party." "I have a wedding." "On second thought, let's stay here." "Dear friends." "As you know, things didn't go according to plan." "But maybe someone up there wanted that to happen." "Delicious." "It would mean so much to Malena and me - if as many of you as possible would attend the funeral tomorrow." "Malena darling, would you please join me?" "We have this nice hotel at our service - so if you need anything don't hesitate to ask." "Anything at all." "Malena would like to say a few words in Finnish." "I would like to get to know you, Henrik's loved ones." "And I love Finland." "Tuomas..." "Dear friends, at least there's no lack of entertainment." "Tuomas Lilja!" "Birgitte, Malena..." "It is with great honour that tomorrow " "I will sing the last song to my dear friend Henrik." "I know that you'll be watching." "See you at the church." "We'll all be there." "Thank you." "Great speech." "Thanks." "Sorry, one more thing." "My latest album, Blue and White Root; is out now." "I'd like you to know that I'm dedicating it to Henrik." "The album is already in stores - but a commemorative sticker for Henrik will be added to it." "Thank you." "Good." "Thank you." "Hi, honey." "What?" " Yeah, I can't believe it." "But I promised." " Will you get here on time?" "Of course." "The service is at nine." "Trust me." "I'll make it." " Okay." "Nothing more can really go wrong." "I have to go now." "Sorry." "I love you. -l love you, too." "Tuomas?" "Here we go again." " Hey." "I'm doing this for my album." "Hi." " Hi." "I am Niklas." "Malena." "I am a friend of Henrik's." " I know." "I'll be bearing his coffin, in which he..." "And soil will be..." " I know." "I know." "Oh." "So Willy..." "Henrik has talked about me?" "No." "I saw pictures." "Online." "Pictures?" " We laughed at them together." "At you." " What?" "Always more pictures." "I laughed and laughed..." "You laughed at me together." "Yeah." "That's funny." "Did Henrik ever happen to mention my wife, Jaana?" "No." "Why?" "Well, I'm going to tell you something - that a laughing widow like yourself can surely appreciate." "Or as you say in Spain, you can laugh and laugh and laugh..." "Henrik won't be laughing because he's..." "Nippe!" "Sorry." "Tuomas is back." "I mean, he's gone nuts." "He's going to pursue that Carola woman." "It won't stop." "Tuomas." "Nippe is ready for your bachelor party, too." "I have more important things to think about." "Like what?" "Call me if you need anything..." " Hello." "Never mind." "She's gone." "That pheasant looks like Jaana." "The same sad eyes." "And the legs." "Do you realise that was my last chance?" "Guys, guys!" "This is a bachelor party." "We're going to have fun!" " Sure we are." "We are." "There's a reason why I brought you here." "This was meant to be a surprise, but never mind." "What are you babbling about?" " What more did your party need?" "Besides the corpse, you mean?" "You didn't hire strippers, did you?" "From where?" "From the motorcycle club, I hope." "We'll see those guys again." " That would've been stupid." "From Google." " Where?" "Strippers from Google?" " They're a little late." "They?" "Sarintha and Fevercat." "They cost more than I thought." "Luckily the card works." " My card!" "Hey, my car was blown up." "You won't be disappointed." "They're nice-looking in the photos." " Dear Antti..." "I don't want to be a party-pooper, but you've been properly scammed." "There they come." "Welcome." "Come on in." "May I present:" "Sarintha and Birgitte." "Yes." "These ladies were looking for you." "Damn." "I'll sort this out." "Birgitte!" "What happened, happened, but we have strippers." "Okay, girls." "The stage is yours." "I don't understand." " I mean..." "We performed already." "It was terrible." "One girl had slathered oil all over her body!" "And the boobs..." "They were huge." "I've never seen such big and firm..." "That's enough, Jörkka." " Firm..." "What about the buttocks?" " Fine as fuck." "Jörkka, you know Carola." "Do you know if she went home?" "No, she went to see a concert nearby." "To size up some new artist." "Oh, really?" "What did I tell you?" "Check this out!" "Sorry, guys." "I can't do this." " What?" "I don't want to screw up my marriage - and here it can happen." "You guys have fun." " We can't force him to stay." "No!" "Is that one of the speed dating chicks?" "Did they look like that?" " Nippe, there's still hope for us." "Carola!" "I'm going." "Hey..." "You can't do her." "Guys, I'm getting married in ten hours." "I'll just play her my album." "Nippe..." " What?" "I wouldn't normally do this to you, but..." "That's okay." "I'm about to leave myself." "Hi." "Excuse me." "Hi." "What are you doing here?" "Well, I see you're out with your friends." "Hi." "I'm Antti." "Antti Kulmala." "She's my speed date." "She dumped me." "Well, you were not the only one." "What are you up to later?" "We're staying at Hotel Vanajanlinna." "We're on a girls' trip." "Same here." "Not a girls' trip, but a room at the hotel." "Well." "Wow!" "It's wild here." "Okay." "Have fun." "Hey!" "Are you really staying at the hotel?" "Yes." "Do you have a car?" " Of course I have a car." "Carola!" "Fancy seeing you here." "Tuomas." "We were at the same funeral today." "Nice to meet you." " So you knew Henrik?" "Yeah, we were best friends." "Just give me your album." " What?" "You want me to review it, right?" "Give it to me." "Actually, I thought we'd listen to it together." "Don't talk bullshit, Tuomas." "Take those with you." "Hey..." "Two..." "Can I have..." "Two..." "Can I have..." "What the fuck?" "Huh?" "Excuse me." "Niklas?" "Malena!" "Hi." "I just lost my..." "What are you doing here?" " Your trousers..." "Are you okay?" "Yeah." "Blue and White Roots is my most personal album ever." "People didn't understand that it's me behind the songs." "Like "Candyfloss Love"." "I'll play it for you now." "No, let's listen to it later." "Afterwards." "Okay?" "Can we put it on now?" " No, afterwards." "Are you going to take off your trousers?" "Or do you want to leave it at that?" " No!" "Of course not." "I'll take off my shoes first." "Then my trousers." "I'll take everything off." " That's right." "Can we listen to it while doing this?" " No, afterwards." "Hello?" "Tuomas?" " Hello?" "Honey, you need to sleep." "We have a big day ahead tomorrow." "You're going to be the best..." "Carola!" "No!" "You have my stuff!" "Fuck!" "It's funny how I can't remember where I left my car." "Unbelievable." "I simply can't remember where it is." "Hey, what was wrong with me?" "At the meeting." "Tell me honestly." "I'd really like to know." "I just don't want to be alone anymore." "There's nothing wrong with you." "I'm just looking for something else." "Something else..." "You know, I used to think like that." "I would decide what I want - and choose the one who's best suited for me." "I'm sure it's a little easier for someone like you." "On the other hand, where's the joy of discovery in that?" "The thrill." "The tingle in the lower belly." "When you wonder what lies ahead on the journey into another person's world." "Liisa Loponen, The Tides of Menopause." "I've read it." "You must be an avid reader." "That book is for women." "Yeah, I read quite a lot." "I've had time on my hands." "Less work and all that." "What do you do?" "Me?" "I'm a librarian." "Wow." "Hey, wake up." "A Spanish lady asked me to call you a taxi." "Nippe!" "I waited for two hours in a bush for people to go home." "Where's Antti?" " I can't remember anything." "What's that on your forehead?" "Does it look bad?" "Where are your clothes?" "Don't ask." "Leila is going to kill me!" "I lost the rings." "You're getting married today." " Fuck, I know!" "Let's call a taxi." "The battery is dead." "What are we going to do?" "I mean, seriously?" "If someone up there hears us..." "We need a little help right now!" "Please send us a taxi!" "And take that bump off Nippe's forehead." "He can't go home looking like that." "And it's a minibus!" "Thank you!" "Hämeenlinna is a beautiful city." " Yeah, I like it here." "Does your friend happen to be Tuomas Lilja?" "No, I'm not." "Many mistake me for him." "Oh." "I would've asked for an autograph." "Are you a big fan?" " You could say that." "Damn." "He's got all your albums." "Even the live concert which you played drunk." "They had to auto-tune everything." " Did you like the latest one?" "Blue and White Roots." "That's a pile of shit." ""Candyfloss Love." What's that supposed to be?" "I like the Lilja who sings about champagne, summer, and women." "In that one, he's like a cooing lovebird." "Aren't people allowed to be in love?" " You don't have to make shitty music." "Has it been a busy night?" "This second bachelor party almost tops the first one." "Never mind, Tuomas." "At least you got a T-shirt." "He had used it as an oil rag." "I wonder where Antti is." " I don't know." "Probably sleeping." "Oh." "You two." "We're truly sorry about everything that's happened." "There's been a lot happening at once." "A bachelor party and this funeral." "And Tuomas is getting married today." "Maybe you'll invite the prostitutes to the wedding." "They're strippers." "Antti ..." "Malena..." "Thanks again for last night." "I mean..." "Apparently you were good to me." "I don't remember any of it, but maybe it's for the best." "Well, you understand." "Comprendo." "Adios." "Vaya con Dios." "Si." "Vamos a la playa." "Did you sleep with her?" "Tell me!" "Did you fuck?" "We expect our lives to be free from suffering." "When things don't work out as they're supposed to - we feel it's unfair." "We become wounded and angry." "But if we let vengefulness take over..." "Why is Malena glaring at me?" "I was a good pallbearer." "Yeah." "Birgitte is mad about the stripper thing." "That's for sure." "Why is Carola looking at you like you're scum?" "Shut the fuck up." "The family has requested Henrik's friend Tuomas to perform for us." "Go ahead, Tuomas." "No." "I'm sorry..." "That was dated information." "We shall sing hymn 492 together." "Maybe it's better if you don't sing." "Hey, Carola!" "Wait up!" "I will never bother you again, but I need something." "Let it go." "Your chance has passed." "Don't worry." "I'll make sure that no one hears your album." "Right, okay." "Where's my stuff?" "On the roadside between Vanajanlinna and Hämeenlinna." "Huh?" "Hey, priest!" "Did you come by car?" "How come none of the guests gave us a ride?" "Just to the city." "If I'd seen a free striptease show, I would've offered a ride." "Did you find anything?" "No." "This is some..." " Did you manage to get us a taxi?" "They said they'd come, but the address was a bit vague." ""Somewhere between Hämeenlinna and Vanajanlinna."" "I wouldn't drive looking." "Okay." "This is impossible." "Isn't there anyone whom we can call?" "I could try those strippers." " No strippers." "How about that nice florist girl?" " Could we get her here?" "Let's order wedding flowers." " Good idea." "Brilliant." "This is Niklas Lavonen, hi." "Do you deliver wedding flowers?" "You didn't fuck Malena, did you?" "No." " Damn!" "It would've served Willy right." "It would've been something." "Yeah." "But I had a dream." "About Malena." "We were on Lake Garda." "We were in the missionary position - and all the people on the beach were cheering." "Where was Willy?" "Let me guess." "He was watching and weeping." "No, he was walking along the beach hand in hand with Jaana." "Right." "Then what happened?" " Then I came." "Goddammit!" "Served him right." "I'm glad that we went." "Look, Antti is awake." "Hi." "Well, which of us is the best man?" "You fucking idiot!" "That's how it's going to be." "Did you get hold of Jaana?" " She doesn't answer." "I have to go and settle things." " I understand." "What's that?" " The librarian's number." "Don't touch it." "It's still wet." "But you got a lady's number." " I know!" "They're going," "Bye bye!" "Don't worry about the car." "I'll take care of it." "Well, it was your car." " But you confessed to the guys." "That I'm not a war veteran from Afghanistan?" "Yeah." "Water under the bridge." "Don't look at me." "I look terrible." "Don't you look at me either." "It's better to do it like this." "I know what happened." "I know that you regret it." "Niklas..." " Let me finish." "I know that you haven't been very happy with me lately." "Not like you used to be." "There are probably many reasons for that - and that's what happens in long relationships." "But if I was asked today..." "like Tuomas was if I still want to I would say "I do."" "I guess the question is, do you?" "Niklas..." "What the hell happened to you?" "What's that ball on your forehead?" "My love..." "Honey, do you remember where my old ski trousers are?" "What?" "Rolling." " And action!" "Look at those jugs." "Side by side." "Quite a coincidence, right?" "Have you quit your singing career?" " Have you quit lapping up coffee?" "Look at those jugs." "Do you think they're plants?" "Plants!" "It's your turn to undress." " Are you serious?" "Or do you want to hear "Candyfloss Love"?" "I'll undress." "Where's Tuomas?" " He's not coming." "Not coming?" " Not coming!" "Hasta luego." "Even Nippe is coming, and Willy fucked and Willy fucked his wife with that enormous dick." "What?" "Nothing like that..." "Keep going a while longer!" "I think I'm going to... throw up." "You forgot the candlestick." " No, it's here in the bag." "Willy's willy." "Cool." "Is this his hand?" "Again!" "We received this." " The People's Award." "Knock over gravestones somewhere else." "Be quiet." "You're saying she's single?" "I'll have to use the back door." "Was Willy in your dream?" "The best director's comment ever." ""How did the take go?"" "He fell asleep." "Let's call it a day."