"Hey, souchak!" "Hell of a column today!" "Today you've gone too far." "What do you mean?" "Stuff that good could get an innocent person killed." "Ah, I'm not that innocent." "Don't let the dimple fool you." "Me!" "An innocent person like me!" "Hey." "Hey!" "Can I get you a chair?" "Mr. Souchak, would you be offended if, uh," "I asked you to buy your papers at o'leary's for a while?" "I'll pay for 'em." "Hiya, souchak." "Great piece, baby." "It's about time you said that about me, agatha." "See ya." "This is the agenda for the buildings committee meeting on friday." "Yablonowitz has his fingers in items two and four." "Please." "What for?" "Ah, it's crazy, Mr. Hellinger." "Every day I get hot stories, the paper gets circulation," "Chicago gets wiser, you keep getting older." "It's not only crazy, it's un-american." "Satisfaction." "I get that." "Yeah, well, you're a good man, Mr. Hellinger." "Just don't run for president." "Hey!" "Okay, spider-man." "Come up here with me, dad." "Down." "You'd never get me up on one of those." "I get vertigo just standing on my toes." "Really?" "I've been that way since I was his age." "Hey." "Why don't you get on my shoulders?" "Then you can get up there." "Really?" "Nah." "I haven't got the height." "Home, james." "Uh, tomorrow, 11:30." "I'll be there." "Sixteen refers to clause 9b of the trucking deregulations bill?" "That is correct, alderman." "9B and c, in view of which, gentlemen, the contract renewal, which is under this subcommittee's consideration is, at this time, for the leasing of specialized equipment, therefore not subject to competitive bidding." "Uh, I accordingly should like to recommend approval of contract 44-kg, city of Chicago ordinance p-17, to metro machine tools, incorporated." "Now, as to the matter of the queries raised by the sherman committee, item number one had to do with their tax-exemption claim." "And item two, the political principle..." "That a city hall connection exists..." "With metro's attorneys-at-law." "So..." "After due consideration, we feel satisfied that all three queries are inapplicable." "I, therefore, would like to accordingly call for a vote on renewal of the metro contract." "All in favor?" "Unanimous." "My granddaughter gave me a pocket calculator for christmas." "I still don't get a chance to use it." "Yeah?" "Right." "Metro." "Sun-times!" "Souchak does it again!" "Sun-times!" "Shit." "He's done it again." "The son of a bitch has done it again!" "Every goddamn day, five editions a day!" "Me, my wife, and now the metro deal!" "Metro deal?" "Shit." "Don't you see it?" "Look." "Right here." "Yeah, there it is!" "Right here." ""Today's dirt." "Dirt of the day." Jesus!" "Okay, enough." "Listen, fellas." "I'd appreciate it if you'd find out who's dishing it to 'im, okay?" "You got it." "Say, you got a match, Mister?" "Sure." "Hell, have the whole book." "Move, man!" "Hey, man." "I've seen this one before." "You're what's-his-name." "That's right." "No shit." "He is." "You're okay, man." "Yeah, man." "You wrote some good shit about our neighborhood." "Drexel park." "Right." "I'm sorry about this, but give me your wallet." "Right." "You guys the rasta devils?" "Right again." "Now give me that watch." "What happened to gilmore?" "Heard he got bounced from the heathens." "He was dipping in the treasury." "Norton had to cut him." "He just cut him." "Oh." "That means everything north of 55th street is up for grabs." "What about the block association?" "This is interesting." "What's your name?" "I'm franklyn." "That's with a "y." Franklyn curt." "Man, you crazy?" "Hey, man!" "What you tryin' to pull, man?" "Oh, shit." "The man!" "Let's get out!" "Man, I didn't even open it." "Why don't you stall 'em?" "Five minutes." "How am I gonna know when it's five minutes?" "My watch!" "That's all right." "They didn't take anything." "Aren't you ernie souchak?" "That's right." "I thought I recognized you." "Great piece today." "That's what alderman yablonowitz said to tell you." "Great piece." "You lost your badge." "Right." "huh?" "Giving me one lousy cigarette doesn't give you the right to kick me out of town." "Are you crazy?" "Nobody's trying to kick you anywhere." "All I'm suggesting..." "mmm." "All I'm suggesting is that you go and do a story in new orleans for a couple of weeks." "They got this hot consortium of developers there." "They're all ex-Chicago." "You pick up yablonowitz the minute you come back." "Howard?" "You need a lobotomy." "Down the corridor, third door on the left." "They got diplomas in it." "I just want us to lay back for a while till things cool." "Especially till after we run your story on his mother." "I don't want you in here permanently." "I like it here." "The nurses give me bed baths." "How 'bout if I order you to new orleans?" "How 'bout you go screw yourself?" "How 'bout dinner sunday night?" "How about the nell porter story?" "It's better than the new orleans one." "You're on shift work, you two." "He bugs me weekdays, you sundays." "Souchak, just because it's out of Chicago..." "nothing personal, sylvia." "You know I love you, respect you and long to tear your clothes off." " Ahem." " Dump this mick and let me take you away from all this." "Where to, if you won't leave Chicago?" "Another part of Chicago." "Oh, come on." "Grow up, sylvia." "What the hell do I know about the intercontinental crack?" "Continental divide." "That too." "Fresh air makes me nauseous." "I bet they got hills up where she comes from." "Sort of." "We call them the rookies." "The rocky mountains?" "Mm-hmm." "So you've heard of them." "Good night." "Thank you for two-thirds of dinner." "Souchak, it's a scoop." "She's never been interviewed." "Four years she's been up there, completely alone." "Apart from her eagles." "She's a highly respected scientist." "She's an eagle freak." "She is a holy woman." "Ohh!" "Why didn't you say that?" "That makes all the difference." "A holy woman." "Is there any more cauliflower?" "It'd be something new to write about." "I like writing the old thing over and over." "A new angle." "Really?" "Some big eagle up there wheeler-dealing little eagles?" "Fixing eagle elections?" "A crooked eagle in Nebraska?" "Souchak, the rookies run through eight different states." "Nebraska isn't one of them." "Try Wyoming." "Souchak, for my sake as managing editor, if you wanna finish off yablonowitz, you gotta stay healthy." "Go to Wyoming." "Howard, you talked me into it." "The answer's no." "Sylvia." "Don't make eyes." "Making eyes at a souchak never worked." "I'm a souchak, so it just won't work." "Howard?" "Uh-huh?" "How do people get up the rookies?" "How?" "They have jeeps, things like that?" "Jeeps, helicopters." "They got everything." "So you think we did the right thing?" "Oh, for god's sake." "You think he'll be okay?" "Sylvia, he's a grown man." "What can happen to him?" "That's what I keep asking myself." "Listen, I know souchak." "He'll be having the time of his life." "Look, you go on." "Leave me here to die." "I always wanted to die in the mountains." "You get the view and everything." "Mountains?" "These here is bumps in the ground." "What are you doing?" "Checking for rattlesnakes." "What for?" "Pardon?" "Plenty other things up there to worry about." "Well, good." "I'll worry about them then." "What is it?" "Possum." "Am I pleased or frightened?" "Take a look." "What the hell is that?" "I just told you... possum." "Jesus christ!" "You got lots of possums around here?" "Just that one." "Been spotted a few times." "Is he friendly?" "You one of them reporter fellas?" "I don't know what you're talking about." "She likes reporter fellas least of all." "She don't like no one much." "She almost killed one." "One what?" "Reporter fella?" "Fella messin' around with her eagles." "What do you mean, "almost killed"?" "You know, when you stop breathin' and walkin' and seein' things?" "That kind of "almost killed him." Uh-huh." "Okay." "Oh, shit!" "Geez!" "Phew." "Getting more fun every day." "The air's thinner up here." "Better lay off those today." "Every day for 13 years, some smart-ass has been trying to tell me to qui..." "Dear lord, I know this might sound a touch hypocritical..." "After the way I've been..." "Roughly since birth, but if you could swing things just this once..." "So I can get out of here..." "Uneaten," "I promise I'll never again..." "Ask for anything..." "Or complain about anything." "Just please don't let these hairy mother... goddamn it!" "Get out of here!" "Go on!" "Get out of here!" "You goddamn wet-nosed son of a bitch!" "Get out of here!" "Go on!" "Beat it!" "That was one of the other things you had to worry about." "Really?" "Thank you, lord." "I won't forget that or my promise." "Oh, no." "Oh, no!" "The bear stole all my cigarettes!" "For that I could've stayed in Chicago!" "Oh, no!" "It ain't much, but there it is." "Ugh." "She's gone to the movies, I guess." "Where are you going?" "They hired me to bring you to neil porter's." "This here's nell porter's." "See ya." "Well, when do you think she'll be back?" "Who knows?" "Wait!" "You come back for me in two weeks!" "When did we say?" "Two weeks!" "Well, if that's what we said..." "that's what we said!" "Said!" "Hello?" "Hello." "Hello." "Shit." "Whoa!" "Ooh!" "Shit." "You're in my house." "I, uh... you broke in." "I'm sorry." "I'm going to assume the best for now." "You're a novice hiker way out of your depth." "Cold?" "Scared?" "Lost?" "You waited outside as long as you could stand it?" "You forgot tired." "Go to sleep." "You look awful." "Thank you." "Great coffee." "Perfect." "Thanks." "Ernie souchak." "Nell porter." "Nice to meet you, Miss porter." "Did I say "perfect"?" "I was underselling you." "I've got my own provisions." "Yes, I noticed." "Freeze-dried eggs." "Enjoy the real thing." "It'll be the last you get till you get where you're going." "I saw from the tracks outside that there were two of you." "Did deke lewis help you?" "Well, 50-50." "Helped me, helped himself to my liquor." "All of it." "Yeah, I know deke." "He's a good guy, but a lousy timekeeper." "Pardon?" "Here's one." "Last october he told me he'd deliver some supplies in november." "He showed up in may." "Where are you from, Mr. Souchak?" "Chicago." "You?" "I was raised in Boston." "That's one place I've never been." "No?" "I don't get out of Chicago much, try as I will." "Too bad." "It's a magnificent country." "That's so true." "Where are you headed?" "Pardon?" "Pardon?" "Where am I headed?" "That's right." "Uh, now?" "Yes." "Here." "Salt?" "I don't understand what you're talking about." "I'm a newspaperman." "This is the story I've always prayed I'd do." "Finally my editor gave in." "I guess I wore him down." "What story?" "Story about what?" "You." "Did you ever think to ask if I wanted that?" "Did it never occur to you to ask permission?" "Of all the unmitigated, presumptuous gall!" "There's no call to use big words." "Okay, here's a short one." ""Out." How?" "I can't get back on my own." "Just aim straight downhill." "Deke lewis will be back in two weeks." "No, now!" "Miss porter, I'll die out there." "Life is full of little tradeoffs." "I mean it." "I mean it!" "I washed the dishes." "I washed the dishes, and you're chopping wood." "I gotta get out of here." "Well, you talked me into it." "I don't suppose you have any cigarettes, do you?" "There's nothing personal in this." "I'm sure you're a fine newspaperman." "But I do serious work here, in private and in peace." "I'm not a pop singer." "I don't have a million records to sell." "Publicity is trite and trivial." "Reporters are parasites." "They feed off the accomplishments of other people." "I don't see newspapers much, but what I do see sickens me." "They only cost 20 cents." "Can I ask you a question?" "What's a nice girl like me doing in a place like this?" "No comment." "Make that "godforsaken place like this."" "Godforsaken?" "Come on." "Where are we going?" "Church." "Pardon?" "Church." "The oldest one in America." "Hmm." "Come to say good-bye?" "Huh?" "Good-bye." "Miss porter, believe me, if I could go on my own, I would." "I just can't have you here two weeks." "Look, if a hiker passes by, if Mr. Lewis passes by, even an eagle, please hitch a ride and go with them." "Do you think I like it here, for christ's sake?" "I got no liquor, nine cigarettes and a grease monkey for company." "I want to stay here only marginally more than I want to die trying to escape." "You laughing in there or crying?" "I'm crying." " I suppose two weeks isn't that long." " Oh, no?" "What?" "Thank you." "Thank you." "On one condition." "No story." "Not one word." "Aloof, self-satisfied, self-sufficient, surprisingly attractive." "Could use some makeup." "Christ, my mind is going." "I sound like rona barrett." "It's so quiet up here, you could hear a mouse get a hard-on." "A touch arrogant, maybe frigid." "It might explain things." "When she goes out..." "Mr. Souchak, would you..." "Sorry." "Did I startle you?" "No, no, it's not you." "It's, uh..." "it's the cigarettes." "They kind of make me jumpy." "Oh." "I'm on strict rations." "I'm gonna take a shower now." "Good." "Good." "That's always nice." "Ah, sorry." "How's this?" "Right." "Why don't I just slide outside?" "Maybe you can have a cigarette while you're out." "Then you'll be down to seven." " Ha, ha, ha." "What time we leavin' in the morning?" " We?" "I thought we had an agreement." "I just want to see what you do, that's all." "It's not easy up there, you know." "I'll manage." "I had a cousin in the boy scouts." "How are you doing, Mr. Souchak?" "Just great." "Just great." "This is so much fun." "I should get out more." "Be careful around these rocks." "Oh, no problem." "Jesus christ." "Do you want to rest for a bit?" "No, not me." "I'm fine." "I can go all day." "I'd like to get this broad in a bowling alley." "Sheesh." "Shh!" "Shh!" "Are you telling me... no disrespect, Miss porter, but it's no big deal up here." "Hmm." "Okay, I'm decent." "Terrific." "You sure you won't join me in a plate of this?" "What is it?" "I'm not sure." ""Western omelette mix."" "They give it to the marines as punishment." "Mmm." "I wish I could offer you some of my supplies, but I hadn't planned on there being an additional person." "If you're coming with me, you'd better get ready." "I think I'll stay back today." "If I go out, this solidifies again in my stomach." "I thought you did very well yesterday, considering." "Damn it." "Shit!" "*Bear Down Chicago bears *" "*No One Can Forget The way you thrilled... *" "Mmm." "Hi." "Hi." "Dinner's almost ready." "Tough day at the office?" "What's that?" "Goulash." "My grandmother's recipe." "No, no." "This." "Not bad, huh?" "Probably the first thing I ever made with my hands." "No." "Yup." "And the goulash is by way of celebration." "I had to use real ingredients for ingredients." "I hope you don't mind." "You're welcome to share my stuff tomorrow." "Maybe I'll fast tomorrow." "Are you expecting company?" "Yeah, well, I only had two cigarettes today." "Gets me hungry." "Two cigarettes, ten fingernails." "You're gonna love this stuff." "Hmm." "I have never seen goulash look..." "So different." "Well, it's not official goulash." "That's what my grandmother called it." "Of course she also called tuna fish salmon." "This is good." "This is really delicious." "My compliments to your grandmother." "She died 20 years ago." "They said it was the goulash." "And thank you for my lovely door." "Oh, that's nothing." "Tomorrow I'm gonna start on a garage." "Mmm." "Yeah." "Remote control, the works." "Have you ever quit before?" "I'd rather not talk during this last one, if you don't mind." "You'll go back to Chicago a healthy man." "They'll give you a medal for saving your own life." "That's it." "I'm dead, finished." "I'll go insane now." "Oh, god." "Here come the withdrawal symptoms." "Oh, Jesus." "Oh!" "Hey!" "Goddamn!" "Jesus christ!" "What are you, some kind of nut?" "Get over here." "Just get over here!" "On your stomachs, fast." "We're from the department of the interior, game protection." "What the hell..." "shut up, Mister!" "Mr. Harris." "You've just committed a felony punishable by two to ten years in the federal penitentiary." "That's a bald eagle you're shooting at, and the american government takes it personally." "We haven't shot any birds." "I don't want to hear about it, Mr. Clagett." "Tell it to the judge, all right?" "You have the right to remain silent." "If you choose to speak, anything you say may be held against you." " You have a right to a lawyer." " That's a $900 shotgun!" "Do we need the cuffs for you?" "I don't see where you get off destroying that shotgun." "Look, Mister, there are only 2,000 bald eagles left in north America, thanks to an endless supply..." "Of obsceneassholes like you!" "Now..." "Here's how it's gonna be." "I let you go down the mountain on your own recognizance." "You report to the ranger station at fort creek, talk to captain clark." "He'll have your names." "Have you got that so far?" "Captain clark." "Oh, one other thing." "If you don't show up there in three days, you'll be hearing from the F.BI." "Okay?" "This was three years ago." "For some reason, reginald and claire abandoned their nest on cougar ridge..." "And they began to build another nest here, where wind river bends at..." "what... bridger junction, I guess." "Don't do that, please." "I have nice breath." "I'm a nonsmoker." "I gave it up for you." "Look, I mean it!" "Okay." "Okay." "Whatever you say." "Definitely frigid." "Very attached to her walking stick." "I've been forced to give up smoking and sex in the same lifetime." "Brief moment of panic in the john today." "I couldn't remember the name of a single store on Michigan avenue." "Where'd you learn your shorthand?" "Tokyo?" "Hi!" "Hi." "I've been reading shorthand for 15 years, but never like this." "It's my own patent." "I invented it." "Can you read it?" "Or doesn't it matter since it's only going into a newspaper?" "Shall I leave now and fall into a ravine..." "Or eat the pages and choke to death?" "I've got a better idea." "Why don't you do a story on me?" "Pardon?" "Marshall field's, lord  taylor, bonwit teller, stanley korshak, saudi airways, the water tower, tiffany's, saks." "And that, Mr. Souchak, was my moment of truth." "So before I even got back to Boston, I knew that was going to be my life." "Boston, by the way, is b-o-s-t-o-n." "Thank you." "I decided even before I left gambia..." "that's G-a-m-b-i-a." "I know how to spell gambia." "Sorry." "Why ornithology though?" "Why a profession..." "I like the uniform." "Pardon?" "No, now ask me, didn't my mother prefer me to settle down, meet some nice accountant?" "Jesus." "Attractive Boston housewife and mother, evelyn porter, 41, stated categorically... why are you being such a hard-ass?" "What?" "Not good?" "Not gossipy enough?" "All right." "You win, I lose." "People like talking about themselves." "They're fascinated with themselves." "Some people are fascinated with other people." "That's why they ask them questions." "Really?" "Really." "Okay." "Right." "So you dropped out of college, you're bumming around Chicago." "Then what?" "Since it was the only thing I was good at, I figured I might as well get paid for it." "So I became a reporter..." "And invented souchak shorthand." "Didn't your mother want you to meet some nice accountant and settle down?" "Maybe reporters find other people interesting..." "Because they're so goddamn boring themselves." "Souchak, maybe people find eagles interesting for the same reason." "Everybody I know calls me souchak." "My name's ernie." "Start a trend." "Call me ernie." "I don't think I could call you ernie." "Too fancy?" "Ernie." "Ernie." "Ernie." "Ernie." "Ernie." "I asked you not to do that." "Christ, what is it with you?" "I don't believe this." "You'reangry." "Good god, what an ego." "Forget it." "I won't come anywhere near you." "Fine." "Thank you." "I need this like I need mountains and eagles." "Souchak?" "What?" "This has nothing to do with what happened tonight." "What hasn't?" "What I'm about to say." "What are you about to say?" "You can't come with me tomorrow." "Fine." "Good." "I'm glad you understand." "Why not?" "Some things I do here I have to do on my own." "Jesus." "Frigid." "Aah!" "Son of a..." "Hi." "Hello there." "Nice day?" "Great." "You?" "Okay." "What happened to your thumb?" "I cut myself shaving." "Is it all right?" "It'll be fine." "Are you still angry about last night?" "Last night?" "Oh, last night." "I've forgotten about last night." "Oh, good." "You coming with me tomorrow?" "No, thanks." "Oh." "Hmm." "Ohh." "Put me down!" "Put me down, put me down, put me down!" "Stop it!" "Are you crazy?" "You're acting like an animal!" "He started it." "Are you all right?" "Yeah, it's just my body." "I am so sorry." "I had no idea he'd react this way, not in my lowest estimation." "Just give me a break." "I didn't kill the guy or nothin'." "How did you expect me to feel?" "Who is this faggot?" "Max birnbaum, ernie souchak." "Max birnbaum?" "Max birnbaum?" "The brooklyn behemoth birnbaum?" "The three-time all-american at Michigan birnbaum?" "The number-one draft pick of the Washington redskins birnbaum?" "The defensive end who told the nfl to shove it up their defensive end?" "Thatmax birnbaum?" "Well, let me shake your hand." "This is an honor." "May I have your autograph?" "Just like that, max." "8:35 into the third quarter, and you walk out." "Eight, nine minutes." "'Round about that." "Exactly 8:35, with everything to play for." "No, everything to lose." "I wanted out." "One season of pro football." "No way I was gonna face a second, let alone a whole career." "You were rookie of the year." "3.4 sacks a game." "I'm going now." "A lot of things started coming together in my head, like my revulsion with the whole system." "I have the staff I forgot." "Huh?" "You know, the staff that saved your life?" "What was it, the coaches?" "The owners?" "Rozelle?" "Bye." "I'm leaving now." "She's really something." "She didn't tell me she had ernie souchak up here." "This guy's a big-shot writer." "He's just like I was, only a writer." "You want a laugh?" "Yesterday she tells me she's got a reporter here from Chicago." "I used to read this guy's stuff." "I guess you can't blame her." "She's been out of touch for the past four years." "I'll try not to be late." "Yeah." "You start playin' ball in grade school, you know." "You're just a kid." "You're innocent." "Then you start playin' ball with the big boys." "Ah, baby!" "Oh." "You dig him, don't you?" "That's ridiculous." "No, it's okay." "He's a good man." "That's got nothing to do with it." "I just want us to... max?" "It think it's maybe coming up to 8:35 in the third quarter." "Is it 'cause we don't talk?" "I don't mind you talkin' to him." "It makes no difference to what we do." "No, it's not that." "As long as you're okay, nell." "And if you ever feel like you kinda sometimes feel... see you." "Uh-oh." "What?" "Trouble." "Oh?" "Am I allowed to mention you?" "Oh." "All I say is that he's your friend, and I chanced to meet him because you... we're not friends exactly." "No?" "I mean..." "We've spoken a few times." "Uh-huh." "Acquaintance, really." "Well..." "Maybe friend." "Right." "Not close friend." "No." "I've never heard you so quiet since you came here." "This is the first story I've written since I came here." "Fixing doors is just a hobby." "Ah." "I assume that one ex-jock rates higher than 2,000 bald eagles..." "At thechicago sun-times." "You want me to write about eagles?" "Ernest, I am trying to work here." "If you wanna yell max birnbaum's name from the treetops, please do so quietly." "I'll check the facts with him when he gets back." "He won't be back." "He won't?" "I'm too busy to have people hanging around here!" "Hmm." "When I was up here last spring, they had two eaglets." "Bruno and sarah." "I just hope sarah didn't murder her brother." "They do that?" "Mmm." "To get his food." "Really?" "The young female is dominant." "Whoa!" "Holy shit." "It's nature's way." "Where we're going there are no trees." "Chicago?" "Watch out for loose rocks." "what beats me is not only someone made this, not only someone sold it, but that someone actually bought it." "It flatters the wearer." "Is that right?" "What do you think?" "Very good looking, wouldn't you say?" "Mmm." "What are you doing?" "I'm gonna get in there with you." "No." "Please don't." "What, are you nuts?" "No, look, there's no reason to hurry." "All the hurry is down below." "I'm still on Chicago time." "I know that, but I'm not!" "And I don't want you!" "Ernie, try to understand." "What's to understand?" "Good night." "Nature." "Understand nature." "Out here you only survive by understanding your opponent." "Opponent?" "Thanks a lot." "No, look, if y..." "If you want to tame or conquer or anything, you have to imagine what it's like being the object of that conquest, or whatever." "Imagine what it feels like actually being them." "And that applies..." "Whether it's an eagle or a mountain, a stream..." "Or me." "It's the same thing." "Lecture over?" "It's no big deal." "Then don't sulk." "Lady, where I come from there's no such word." "Oh, yeah?" "Well, what do they call it where you come from?" "Souchak, take it easy." "Just move slowly." "Don't try to go too fast." "There are good handholds right there, to the left." "You're doing fine, souchak." "You're almost here." "All right?" "Whoa!" "Ohh!" "Don't pull me over." "You did well." "Come on." "There's max." "He doesn't like us here." "Why don't we leave?" "Don't you want to know if bruno made it?" "Oh, right." "Bruno." "Where's my head at these days?" "Shh." "I can't feel my fingers." "I hope we don't fall off." "I'd hate to disturb them." "Dear lord, I'm sorry to keep troubling you, but I'm hanging from a rock here." "Now, I'm not complaining." "I just..." "look!" "Look, it's bruno." "Huh?" "He's alive!" "Bruno?" "Is that him?" "Uh-huh." "Go for it, bruno!" "Look at that!" "Bruno's alive!" "He made it!" "Hey, bruno!" "The indians believed that a bald eagle could push the sun across the sky..." "And that it was the heat of the sun that turned their head feathers white." "The sun?" "The sun." "Tell me more about the heat of the sun." "You did great out there today." "Here." "This is for you." "It's an eagle feather." "Mmm." "It was a sign of strength and courage to the indians, and a brave could only wear it after he proved himself in battle." "How's that look?" "Nice." "Ernie?" "Ernie, wake up." "Jesus, I'm shaking." "Everything I've got is shaking." "Must be the withdrawal symptoms." "Yeah." "Withdrawal symptoms." "Come here." "I want to show you something." "Come on." "What?" "Oh." "Beautiful, isn't it?" "Mmm." "Tricky climbing." "Don't worry about me, babe." "You're talking to a feather owner." "Hey, let me take the lead for a while." "I've been watching how you do it." "Oh, really?" "Come on." "It'll be fun." "It'll be interesting." "Yeah." "That's what worries me." "Well, please be careful." "All right?" "No problem." "Let me put a rope on you." "And I don't wanna hear about your cousin... in the boy scouts... ernie!" "Ernie!" "Ernie?" "Lie still and catch your breath." "Put your arms down." "Do you feel broken anywhere?" "No." "How's your head?" "How many of me do you see?" "One." "Looks nice." "Do you think you can move at all?" "I think dancing's out of the question." "Let's get..." "aah!" "Christ!" "I slipped my entire back." "All right, just lie down." "Take it easy, all right?" "Lie still." "Catch your breath." "Let's hear it for the chef." "Thanks." "wouldn't it have been easier to call an ambulance?" "Is this too tight?" "No getting in with me." "No dice." "I promise." "Okay." "We lost the dogs." "They're gone." "Don't worry." "I've got you." "Aah." "Oh, my god." "Hang on, ernie." "Boy, this is some fun." "Sorry." "Are you all right?" "I'm just fine." "We'll trade places after a while." "You okay?" "I'm tired." "It's today." "Hmm?" "Deke lewis is supposed to come get me today." "Don't hold your breath." "There." "Don't move." "I could try to get a helicopter for you on the short wave." "They may come for an emergency." "You know, I think it's just sprained." "If I could rest it a little while... we'll see how it is in a few days." "Yeah, I'm sure it's gonna be a lot better in a few days." "Mmm." "Oh, that's good." "Little lower." "Yeah?" "How is it here?" "Oh, yeah..." "How is it here?" "Better, I guess." "Correction." "Day one I wrote she could use a little makeup." "I was young and foolish." "She should never use it." "She's flush and rosy and... get ahold of yourself, souchak." "You're a little ripe to be this breathless." "Okay." "Are you calm?" "Good." "That's more like it." "Slow down." "Are you sure about this?" "Hell, you've neglected your work long enough." "I can get to the head and to the refrigerator." "What more is there to life?" "Put the roast in at 3:00?" "Can do, skip." "There's nothing I can get you?" "No, you kids go have a good time, leave grandpa here." "He'll be all right by himself." "Bye." "Bye... nope." "Leave the door open." "I wanna watch you leave." "I enjoy the view." "See you later." "Bye-bye." "*There Was A Crooked Man" "*And He Ran A Crooked Mile" "Oh, my." "*He Found A Crooked Sixpence" "*Against A Crooked Stile" "*He Bought A crooked cat *" "*Who Caught A crooked mouse *" "*And They All Lived together * *ln A Crooked Little house *" "Oh, shit." "Hello." "Can I help you?" "We're entirely at your service." "Uh, take anything you like." "We got a shower and everything." "You big pussycat." "You think I'm afraid of that?" "Well, you sense fear, don't you?" "But I won't show any." "Oh!" "You don't know that theory, do ya?" "Okay." "Oh." "You want the roast." "Right." "Okay." "Here you go." "It's yours." "We'll have something else." "Don't worry about us." "Well, I..." "I'll be going now." "See you later." "Just, uh, take what you like..." "And lock up when you leave, okay?" "I'll just step out of your way here." "Oh, god." "Jesus." "Ernie!" "Ernie!" "Ernie?" "How was your day?" "Oh, Jesus." "This could set me back a few days." "Weeks." "But you came out fine." "You were very lucky, you know." "I owe it all to you." "Why?" "Understanding nature, imagining you're the opponent." "In that split second that mattered," "I imagined that I was that mountain lion." "And what would discourage me if I were a mountain lion?" "I took my walking stick..." "And hit him in the balls." "I'd never seen such big balls, and I'm from Chicago." "You're turning into quite a mountain man." "Mmm." "You may decide to stay up here." "If I learn one more mountain skill, I'll be dead." "You're doing fine." "How does your head feel?" "Which one?" "Where does it hurt?" "Does it hurt up here?" "Does it hurt there?" "Mmm." "Maybe over here." "Mmm." "Ooh." "Very painful." "Ow." "Let me see what's going on over here." " Howard?" " uh-huh?" "How's the patient?" "In my book, technically dead." "He walks around with that goddamn tree trunk in his hand." "He hasn't written a word since he got back." "She's got a lot to answer for, that woman." "I have a newspaper to run." "I could kill her." "For years I make dinner parties to fix him up with a nice girl, and he goes and falls for an eagle freak." "I should never have sent him out of town it's unnatural." "On the other hand, you can't expect her to give up her life's work just for him." " Hey, souchak!" "Souchak!" " Whose side are you on?" " He can't expect her to do that." " you did it for me." "You had no regrets." "What's that look supposed to mean?" "What look?" "That look." "I've gotta go." "Mmm." "And you've got a newspaper to run." "Be careful on the way out." "There's a zombie out there." "Oh, my god." "She must be one hell of a mountain goat." "This has got to stop." "Bye, honey." "Bye-bye." "Souchak, would you come into my office, please." "Well?" "I want you writing again." "You've been sitting around here pickling your brain for two weeks." "It's enough already." "Maybe writing about it will clean it out." "I don't want to write about her." "Fine." "Write about being back in town." "You can start writing about yablonowitz again." "Who?" "Yablonowitz." "Yablonowitz!" "Yablonowitz!" "You remember him?" "He's still around, you know." "All he had to do after your last column..." "Was issue a press release and fire a few relatives." "Uh-huh." "Now look, for my sake as managing editor, write something." "Anything!" "You told me it was for your sake last time." "I'm saying it again." "I'm saying it again." "Souchak, go see a shrink." "I give up." "It's a travel piece." "People love travel pieces." "When they're good." "Even when they're lousy." "These aren't good enough to be lousy." "Tryin' to let me down easy, aren't ya?" "Listen to this." "I know what I wrote, howard." "I was there when I wrote it." "Mm-hmm." ""And the mountain rises higher, and yet higher, thrusting upward," ""straining ever upward, burgeoning its power from the very loins of the earth," ""its peak piercing at last the center of the sun, until its golden, molten, melting light explodes in a..."" "Am I right in thinking there's something you're trying to tell us here?" ""The undulating hillocks, round and smooth and full and fertile, sloping globes curving gently, deeply down to the..."" "I mean, where do you suggest we print it..." "penthouse?" "I was doing you a favor." "Thanks." "Just to show you how grateful I am, I promise you nobody will ever read this." "You'd be laughed out of Chicago." " Come on." " Where we going?" "To get drunk." "Oh, I like new ideas." "You take my liquor, but you won't take my advice." "Your advice sobers me up." "Ahh." "Where are you going?" "This is the paper you used to write for." "Every time I turn my back, they got the state senate in the lead." "Who gives a shit about the state senate?" ""Who gives a shit about the state senate?"" "Holy cow." "I don't believe it." "What's wrong?" "I want some answers!" "Nobody has any answers?" "I want to know how a thing like this disappears from my office." "I found it on your desk." "You found it on my desk?" "You print six pages of crap because you see something laying on my desk?" "Well, I hope to hell I don't leave my tax returns laying on my desk one day by mistake!" "The byline was ernie souchak." "Look, you moron, don't give me excuses!" "If it's souchak, you always run it." "You hear what I just told him?" "You know what would happen to me if I did what you morons did, huh?" "I'd be back selling brassieres on maxwell street." "Phew." "Thank you." "Thank you for your support." "You know what I think?" "I bet you're gonna tell me." "You just told me." "Keep this up, you'll end up buried..." "Along with "Chicago grandmother graduates,"" ""Park statue to get face-lift,"" ""City hall clerk's fire escape death," "Weather forecast..."" "What was that?" "The weather forecast?" "The fire escape." ""Mr. Kermit hellinger, 31," ""fell to his death early today from a fire escape..." ""At the back of a disused warehouse on murphy street." "Mr. Hellinger, a contracts clerk at city hall, leaves a wife and one..."" "Ambassador restaurant." "You're a naughty, naughty man." "Well, if it isn't our intrepid explorer." "That's all right, mike." "Where's your next assignment?" "Outer space?" "I know what really happened on murphy street." "And if I know, you can bet your spotty, fat ass..." "That pretty soon Chicago will." "I don't know what you're talkin' about." "What are you showering in these days, jack daniel's?" "The last place he'd go is up a fire escape." "Which is exactly why it was his last." "Right, alderman?" "Get this drunk outta here!" "Enjoy your dessert, punk!" "Let go of me!" "Your ass is mine!" "Let go of me!" "Everybody say "cheese."" "You got it." "Well, yes... yes." "I can give you names and places and dates." "Up there?" "No?" "In the alley?" "This is it." "This is the one." "Holy cow." "I don't believe it." "All right!" "Why didn't you wait for me?" "I thought you deserved a solo entrance." "We did all right, howard, didn't we?" "Terrific." "Then why aren't you smiling?" "What?" "Didn't you read the front page?" "The question is, did you?" "Huh?" "I just want to establish you are really over her, that's all." "Jesus, howard, you're almost a man of the world." "You know how these things happen." "The air was thin." "She was average cute." "There was no other broad around, and the air was thin." "Well, I have a newspaper to run." "So?" "So I don't want you turning into cream pie again." "Howard, if nell porter were to take one of her eagles for a stroll down Michigan avenue..." "And I happened to bump into them," "I'd say hi, I might kiss them on the beak." "And then I'd wave good-bye." "That's how over her I am." "Then you're not going to her lecture tonight?" "No, thanks." "Good." "I'd rather you didn't." "Well, I'm not." "Good." "Better that you don't." "I'mnot, for christ's sake." "For the paper's sake." "Good." "Fine." "Fine." "Good." "The problem now is really not hunters." "The laws are adequate on that score." "But these invisible killers, these pesticides and pollutants, are poisoning the fish they eat, the water they drink, the air they soar through." "It's not easy protecting them, but we must." "We have no choice." "There are only 700 nesting pairs in the lower 48 states." "In all, just 2,000 american bald eagles." "That's all that remain." "Ladies and gentlemen, they must be saved." "Thank you." "Oh, shit." "If there are any questions, Dr. Porter will be more than delighted to answer them." " Yes?" " I was reading that..." "I understand they have a dramatic way of making love." "Oh, shit." "Uh, mating." " Mating." "Right." " Yes." "Uh, first they chase each other, uh, circling, dipping, twisting, screaming." "Testing." "And then?" "Then they come together, their talons locking." "Inseparable?" "For a short, very happy time, yes." "Can they fly that way?" "No, not together." "They begin to fall, plunging and tumbling, down and down." " It sounds dangerous." " But thrilling." "Huh?" "Wha..." "yes." "And then?" "Then when they're very near the ground, about to be smashed?" "They separate, open their wings..." "And soar on the air currents." " Alone?" " Each alone." "That's the only way they can fly." "And that's all there is?" "Unless they do it again." "Uh, yes?" "What are you doing here, huh?" "What's so funny?" "I got a paper to run." "Remember?" "This what you call keeping your word about not coming to the lecture?" "Huh?" "Howard." "Don't "howard" me, all right?" "Whose side are you on, huh?" "I'm over you completely, by the way." "Me too... over you." "Totally." "Entirely." "I've got a great idea." "Hmm?" "Let's stay here forever." "We're gonna have to." "Why?" "My apartment exploded in excitement when it heard you were coming." "We could call room service every two weeks for a quick goulash." "Mm-hmm!" "Mmm!" "Come back with me." "You can write a novel there." "Ehh..." "I like writing just my column." "It's short." "I'll make you very, very happy, Mr. Souchak." "Mmm." "Why is it you're so damn beautiful?" "I'm not." "You're just in love." "So am I." "I'm gonna prove to you that you can live here." "Forget it." "I mean, there's no point." "You want some goulash?" "Mm-mmm." "I never touch the stuff." "You don't want anything?" "Mm-mmm." "Nothing." "Then I got a real surprise." "Howard, maybe they're deciding to be just good friends." "Maybe he's dumped her." "That's it." "Maybe at sea level she's just one big turnoff." "Oh, howard, enough." "I like the girl." "So?" "I'd like for her to be happy." "Mm-hmm." "And souchak..." "At last." "And what about me..." "a man with a newspaper to run." "Oh, for god's sakes." "Maybe if I just talked to him..." "maybe we get some sleep." "Maybe you're worrying about nothing." "Maybe." "Hey, I'm here too, you know." "Wrap yourself in your damn newspaper." "To live in Chicago you have to learn that you only survive..." "By understanding your opponent, Dr. Porter." "First you have to remember the number... 9-1-1." "That's the police." "Now, the line'll be busy because the rest of Chicago is trying to survive..." "Just like you are." "Hi, fiddle." "Second, never touch anyone on the street." "They'll think you need help, and they'll kill you." "And for god's sakes, never smile at anyone..." "they'll think you're gay." "In which case, don't call 9-1-1." "They'll book you for an obscene phone call." "Mm-hmm." "Mmm." "Fourth, never cross the street..." "When you hear an ambulance coming." "It's very dangerous, because it's you it's trying to run down." "And there's one last thing to know." "Very important." "It's about money..." "never carry any in your purse." "Keep your folding money in your shoe." "You can always tell how rich a person is by the way he limps..." "like this." "This is a great town." "It's got everything." "Especially you." "What?" "What's wrong?" "Nothing." "There is." "I don't know what you mean." "There's something wrong." "There isn't." "Look!" "Eagles!" "Pigeons." "Well, they're birds anyway." "I still want to know what's wrong." "And I still don't know what you mean." "What I mean is, all you do is kiss me and look at me like I'm gonna die." "There you go again." "I'm leaving tomorrow." "There's a 10:00 train." "Train." "Perfect." "I love you." "Then why are you gonna make us both miserable?" "What else can we be?" "My life is in the rookies." "Yours is obviously here." "But there's no answer." "I don't regret any of it." "Great." "I won't forget any of it either." "Terrific." "Look, I've never been one for butting in where I don't belong." "You know what I mean?" "I always liked that about you, howard." "Oh, souchak, you are impossible." "Christ." "Sylvia." "Sylvia!" "I'm sorry." "I think I'd better go." "Please say good-bye to sylvia for me." "Taxi!" "Taxi." "Union station." "Hurry." "Come on." "Come on." "Thanks." "Keep it." "Kansas city, Los Angeles..." "And all intermediate stops..." "Now boarding at track 22." "Where's the 10:00..." "wh-what track... what track does the 10:00..." "Nell." "Nell!" "Oh." "Sorry." "Sorry." "Jesus h." "Christ, where the hell were ya?" "I came by to pick you up." "I know." "I thought this would be easier." "Easier?" "Here." "I gotta sit down a second." "I think I'm dying." "It's all those cigarettes." "I didn't want to see you again." "This is a final boarding call for theempire builder." "All visitors will please leave the train." "Look, I'm crazy about you, and I don't know what to do about it." "Oh, I love you too." "Ernie, you have to go." "The train's about to leave." "Okay, I'll go." "Go." "I'll always love you." "I can get off at the next stop." "Tickets, please." "Tickets, please." "Just a second." "Here you go." "Thank you, sir." "Here you go." "Where's the next stop?" "Rock falls." "Can I get a ticket there?" "Uh... uh, yes, you can, sir." "That'll be $45, sir." "Uh, that'll give you about an hour." "Your attention, please." "Now arriving, amtrak train number 573, theempire builder from Chicago, continuing service to cedar rapids... you'll call me before you go up to the mountain?" "I wanna hear your voice tomorrow." "You understand?" "I promise." "Good-bye." "Rock falls." "This stop, rock falls." "All departing passengers, make sure you have your personal belongings with you when you... when's the next train to Chicago?" "Did you just get off that train?" "Yeah." "Well, then you just camefrom Chicago." "I know that." "Creep." "I'll go as far as cedar rapids." "When's the next train to Chicago?" "There's one in about a half hour." "When's the one after that?" "Three days." "Half an hour." "What are we gonna do?" "There's nothing wecando." "This is where you belong." "Good-bye, nell." "Good-bye." "Bye." "Shit." "Nell!" "Ow!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "Run faster." "I'm walking this last bit." "What?" "We just said good-bye." "I know." "Let's get married." "Marry me." "Be Mrs. Souchak." "Come on." "You won't stay here." "I can't go with you." "I don't care." "What?" "I don't care!" "May god bless your union..." "With joy in your posterity..." "And a long life of happiness together." "And from this union," "May only good things grow." "And so, by the authority vested in me..." "By the state of Wyoming and the city of victor, I lead this joyous ceremony..." "And ask you, nell porter, do you take this man to be your lawful, wedded husband?" "Uh, y-yes, I do." "And you, ernest souchak, do you take this woman to be your lawful, wedded wife?" "I do!" "I pronounce you man and wife." "You may kiss the bride." "That's ten dollars!" "Thank you!" "In a manner of speaking, I fixed their first date." "I been lots of things." "Never been cupid before." "Damn, he's really gonna get on that train." "You mean they aren't going to consummate?" "I think they already have." "I'll see you when the snow melts." "I'll be waiting." "I'll be the one with the feather in his hat." "This is gonna be one terrific marriage." "It is already." "I love you." "And I love us both." "I love you... ohh!" "Ohh!" "*" "*You Know Why I'm Smiling" "*You Know What You Do" "*I Wake Up Shining" "*Just Being With You" "*Knowing You're Beside Me" "*Knowing You're All Right" "*Makes It So Easy" "*To Get Through The Night" "*We Will" "*Never Say Good-bye" "*When I Go, This I Know" "*We'll Be Together" "*And In My" "*Heart You'll Ever Stay" "*Never Say" "*Never Say" "*Good-bye" "*Ain't No Fun In Leavin' *lt's What I Got To Do" "*Just Makes It Better" "*To Come Back To You" "*Nights Will Come Between Us" "*Days Out On Our Own" "*But My Love Goes With You" "*You Won't Be Alone" "*And We Will" "*Never Say Good-bye" "*When I Go, This I Know" "*We'll Be Together" "*Ohhh" "*You Know I Have To Go from you *" "*So Far So far away *" "*I Got Your Love To Carry Me" "*So, Darlin' Please don't leave me *" "*And We Will" "*Never Say Good-bye" "*When I Go, This I Know" "*We'll Be Together" "*And In My" "*Heart You'll Ever Stay" "*Never Say" "*Never Say" "*Good-bye"