"1 , 2, 3, hyah!" "Baby!" "Sassy!" "Studly." "Check the pecs." "Hee!" "Ha!" "Huh!" "Man, I'm pretty." "Do the monkey with me!" "Come on!" "Hey there, baby." "Oh!" "Uh!" "Yeah, whatever." "NARRATOR:" "The Aron city zoo... not necessarily the most happening spot in town." "It's a rather peaceful haven for those who want to relax, take a stroll, or pick up chicks." "Excuse me, mister." "Excuse me, mister." "Not now, kid." "I'm busy." "Excuse me, mister." "Now, look here, missy." "I hope you don't take this the wrong way or anything, but there's just too big of a generation gap between the two of us." "But all I want to know is what time it is." "There, there, princess." "I don't mean to break your heart, but then again, I'm a heartbreaker." "How about a kiss there, missy?" "Well, now that we know each other a little better..." "Eat this!" "Ooh!" "Oh!" "Ooh!" "Oh!" "Baby!" "Oh, mama!" "I have to get going now, sir." "Women." "Uhh!" "Hey!" "What are you looking at?" "I've eaten chiliburgers bigger than you." "[woman screams]" "What the... [woman panting]" "Oh, man!" "I dig it when chicks run." "[woman panting]" "Say, baby, how's about you and l" "Out of my way, mister!" "Get off of me, you son of a handbag!" "That ought to teach you a lesson in manners." "Huh!" "Now, that's my kind of woman!" "Say, what's the matter, little mama?" "Our prize gorilla has escaped from its cage." "Really?" "Really." "Enough about you." "Let's talk about me, Johnny Bravo." "What do you think?" "Aren't I having a good hair day?" "Ha!" "Be brutal, mama." "Excuse me?" "Why don't we grab ourselves a couple of thick, juicy steaks?" "I know of a place down the road." "I don't think you understand." "What?" "Are you a vegetarian?" "No." "There's a 900-pound gorilla on the loose." "Now hold on, missy." "A gorilla. 900 pounds." "On the loose?" "Ma'am, I'd be more than happy to help you find your gorilla." "You must be joking." "I mean, to capture a gorilla, I'd need, like, maybe an army or a superhero." "Superhero?" "Yeah." "That would be nice." "Ma'am, today's your lucky day, because I just happen to be a superhero." "You certainly don't look like a superhero." "Did I mention my special powers?" "Oh, no." "You didn't mention those." "Missy, you're looking at the only man to have ever earned his black belt in every form of martial art in the world." "What the... [heavy footsteps]" "Did I mention that I'm still studying sumo wrestling?" "Hmm." "You know, come to think of it, I guess I could use the help of a superhero." "I knew it!" "You know, I have a sensitive side, too." "I can bring home the bacon I can even cook I'll have your gorilla back" "Faster than you can make" "A peanut butter and banana sandwich" "And deep-fry that bad boy." "Hyah!" "Uh..." "Thank you." "Oh, won't you come home, Bill Bailey" "Won't you come home l cried the whole night long [humming]" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "You are the man." "Ow!" "JOHNNY:" "Excuse me, mister." "Have you seen a gorilla hiding anywhere around here?" "A gorilla?" "Hmm." "Refresh my memory, babe." "What exactly does a gorilla look like?" "Well, they're, uh..." "They're, uh..." "They're big." "Big?" "Yeah." "Big." "This one's about 900 pounds." "My goodness." "Yeah." "What else?" "Yeah." "Uh, they're..." "They're big." "And, uh..." "Big, and, uh..." "Ugly!" "Yeah." "Big and ugly." "Hmm." "You know what?" "I did see one of those gorilla things about an hour ago, but he was certainly not what I would have called ugly." "Really?" "Oh, no, babe." "He was more like the Mel Gibson of monkeydom." "Yeah, whatever." "Do you know which way the gorilla went?" "Forsooth, nay." "Alas, I looked away as he strayed." "But hey, how about I help you find this gorilla, babe?" "Mister, I don't think you understand who you're talking to." "I am Johnny Bravo, the one-man army." "Huh!" "Huh!" "Huh!" "Huh!" "Huh!" "So you just stay out of the way and leave the superheroing to me." "No problemo." "Did you see a gorilla run by here?" "No." "Did you see a gorilla run by here?" "No." "Did you see a gorilla run by here?" "No." "Did you see a..." "Gorilla?" "So I was wondering, you wouldn't happen to be hiding any gorillas underneath them clothes, would you?" "Ha!" "Huh!" "Huh!" "She wants me." "[gorilla humming]" "Stick 'em up!" "What are you going to do, arrest me?" "Will you be quiet and get in the alley?" "Aren't we a bit on the grouchy side?" "Give me your wallet, you fat cow!" "What did you call me?" "Put down that gun." "What the..." "Ah!" "Fat cow, am I?" "Didn't your mother teach you any manners," "Mr. Love handles?" "You are a p-i-g, pig!" "Swine is what you are." "Hey!" "Take it easy there, kid." "Your mama's so big that when she wore high heels, she struck oil." "Big?" "Your face is so ugly, you could make an onion cry." "Ugly?" "You are so fat" "Now hold on, kid." "That there wouldn't happen to be the gorilla?" "Hmm." "Could be." "Sure is ugly enough to be in a zoo." "WOMAN:" "Well!" "So there you are." "Can I have my gorilla now?" "Why, yes, ma'am." "I've got him right..." "Here?" "Say!" "Don't I get any kind of reward for this" "A kiss, a date, a hearty handshake?" "Reward?" "I would go out with you, but it looks as though you've already got a date." "This is cute and all, but I have a wife." "What are you looking at?" "NARRATOR:" "Deep in the darkest jungles of Africa..." "No, deeper..." "Deeper..." "Still deeper." "Now, darker..." "Darker..." "Well, maybe not that dark." "[monkeys shouting at once] lt is here that one man reigns over all he surveys." "One man..." "Uh, boy." "Jungleboy!" "Well, that was fun." "animal:" "Oh!" "Help!" "Somebody help!" "The dam is broken!" "The dam is broken!" "Oh!" "Jungleboy!" "I'm so glad you're here." "Now, you just hold there for a while." "Bye-bye." "I think I'm beginning to wrinkle." "Well, it looks like the day has been saved again, thanks to Jungleboy." "It seems as though Jungleboy has single-handedly captured the hearts of millions here in the jungle." "He is just too darn cute!" "Yeah." "He's what all my kids talk about" "Jungleboy this, Jungleboy that." "He dammed up the river using my butt." "We'll have more Jungleboy after these messages." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Salon perm?" "No." "Jungleboy!" "Jungleboy home perm." "I was in an accident." "Jungleboy got me $6.5 million." "TV ANNOUNCER:" "See Brooke Shields and Jungleboy in Escape to the Blue Lagoon." "Hey!" "That was supposed to be my part!" "Where's Rupert?" "Rupert!" "Yeees?" "Who is this Jungleboy, and why am I not starring opposite Brooke Shields in a movie?" "Because, your highness, he's the man." "Hello!" "Everybody's supposed to love me, not Jungleboy." "Where are my royal subjects?" "My subjects still love me." "My subjects!" "[laughter]" "Royal subjects." "So then he offered to pick all the bugs out of my fur, and naturally I was flattered." "Hello, girls." "girls:" "Hello, King Raymond." "Ooh!" "What kind of animals are you?" "What's wrong?" "Look, girls!" "Aah!" "It's Jungleboy!" "But..." "Ooh!" "Hello, girls." "[girls screaming and talking at once]" "Thank you." "I have to get going now." "Thank you." " Ahh!" " Ooh!" "Don't you girls know?" "He's a human." "He's going to grow up someday and kill us all." "As if!" "Come on, girls." "But..." "Ooh!" "Something needs to be done about that Jungleboy." "I need to expose him for the evil creature he is, and I know just how to do it." "[Raymond laughing]" "Let's see now." "Peachy skin..." "Wig..." "Loincloth..." "No one will ever know!" "Now it's time for Operation Hate Jungleboy." "ALL:" "Oh, look!" "It's Jungleboy!" "Oh, blow it out your ear." "[gasping]" "Did you guys hear what Jungleboy just said?" "[snickering]" "Reports have been coming in from all over the jungle that Jungleboy has turned into a stark-raving lunatic." "I looked outside, and there he was, just dancing around in the underwear I'd just put out on the clothesline." "I'm just thankful they were clean." "While some couldn't believe what they saw, most mammals were just plain stunned." "I'm just plain stunned." "Jungleboy sawed my horn off." "He dammed up the river using my butt." "MARY ANTELOPE:" "We'll have more reports as this story breaks." "Back to you, Nawanda." "Let's see who's got it going on now, Mr. Jungleboy." "[laughing]" "[animals talking at once]" "Hello, animal folk." "Look, guys." "It's Jungleboy again." "How dare he show his face in public?" "Now, just ignore him, and he'll go away." "[whistling]" "Whatcha doin'?" "Oh!" "I can't look at him." "We can't stay mad at Jungleboy." "He's just a kid." "He didn't know what he was doing." "[animals talking at once]" "ALL:" "We're sorry, Jungleboy." "Can we worship and idolize you like we did before?" "RAYMOND:" "Stop!" "What's going on here?" "[gasping]" "Don't you know Jungleboy's evil?" "He doesn't even recycle, for crying out loud." "You said it yourselves." "Oh." "Hey!" "There's two of them!" "animal:" "But which one's the real Jungleboy?" "Oh, I'm the real Jungleboy." "Yeah." "He's an impostor." "He was out there trying to taint my name." "You've gotta believe me." "Look how cute l am." "Hey!" "My name's Jungleboy, too." "Oh, yeah?" "Well, let's have a contest." "I bet I can hold a note longer than you can." "Da" "There. I told you I'm Jungleboy." "Hey!" "Jungleboy never wore a wig." "Yeah." "And he never sang no opera, either." "animal:" "Hey, look!" "SECOND animal:" "That's not Jungleboy." "That's Raymond." "ALL:" "Raymond?" "Nobody move, or the kid gets it." "Ooh!" "Ah!" "Mr. Monkey, I'm appalled at your behavior." "Hey, everybody!" "What do you say we tar and feather Raymond?" "Aah!" "Get him!" "Get him!" "RAYMOND:" "Aah!" "So once again, Jungleboy is the man of the hour." "Jungleboy, you've had quite an exciting day." "How do you feel?" "Uh..." "Wet." "Ha ha ha!" "Wet?" "Can you change my diaper?" "Uh..." "Nawanda?" "ANNOUNCER:" "Hello Johnny." "It's activity time!" "There's a rhino hiding some where in this room can you find him before the kids at home do?" "Hey, no problem." "Excuse me." "ANNOUNCER:" "Times up." "Ha ha, I'm right here you big dumb jerk." "Hey buddy you see any rhinos around here?" "CROWD:" "Oh, oh, oh!" "MAN:" "Thar she blows!" "Now, that was a beauty." "NARRATOR:" "Whale watching." "Studies indicate that whale watching is one of the best ways for man to get in touch with himself, to get in touch with nature, and to get in touch with chicks." "Hey there, little lady." "Do you mind?" "You're in my way." "Yeah, I know." "Say... [sniffs]" "You smell kind of pretty." "Want to smell me?" "Hey, pepper spray." "Don't they use that for-- Oh!" "Ah!" "Oh!" "Ha!" "Oh!" "She's in denial." "[horn blowing]" "Aah!" "Aah!" "Ah!" "Ooh!" "Hey!" "Ah!" "Whoa!" "Ooh!" "Hey!" "Ah!" "Ooh!" "Hey!" "Ah!" "Whoa!" "Uh!" "Oh!" "Oh, mama!" "[woman singing]" "Hmm." "That voice." "Where is that voice coming from?" "La la la la la" "La la la la la" "La la la la la" "La la la" "La la la la la la la la la" "Oh, man." "Sassy!" "Ahem." "You want to see my chest hair?" "It's blond and curly." "Wow!" "She sure is a whole lot of woman." "What's your hurry, missy?" "By the way, I didn't catch your name." "Get out of my way." " ls it Trixie?" " Move!" " Bambi?" " l said move!" " Candy?" " Do you hear me?" "You know what?" "I bet your name's Mickey 'cause you're so fine." "You're so fine" "My name is of no importance to you, midget boy." "I am an Amazon;" "thus, I am a warrior." "You have no right being on this island, so be off, or feel my wrath." "Did you say you're a warrior?" "Yes, I did." "Want to mud wrestle?" "Why am I wasting my time with you?" "[Tarzan yell]" "Oh!" "Now, that's a mating call!" "[stomping]" "Hello." "Christopher." "Christopher?" "Yes, Melissa?" "See this?" "Make sure this doesn't follow me back to the village of beautiful women." "Village of beautiful women?" "christopher:" "Yes, ma'am." "I don't even want him anywhere near the village of beautiful women." "Village of beautiful women?" "Yes, ma'am." "Huh!" "Did she say village of beautiful women?" "Maybe." "As in more than one beautiful woman?" "I don't know." "What do you mean?" "What do you mean?" "Mister, this is getting really old really fast." "Huh!" "I've already wasted enough time, so if you don't mind, I've got me some mountains to climb." "Oh!" "Where do you think you're going?" "Am I going to have to fight you?" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Nice briefs." "[Christopher humming]" "Wait a minute." "What are you doing?" "Don't hate me because I am beautiful." "Take those tightie-whities off now, you hear me?" "Oh, all right." "Here, crybaby." "[Christopher laughing]" "You're going to pay for all this." "Oh!" "Ooh!" "Ah!" "Ooh!" "Ah!" "Oh!" "Mr. Man, don't get me angry." "You wouldn't like me when I am angry." "Now it's personal." "Oh." "Scaredy you." "Mister, it seems to me that..." "Huh?" "Say, isn't that Don Knotts right there behind you?" "Don Knotts?" "Don Knotts?" "Don Knotts?" "Hey!" "I hate it when people use Don Knotts to deceive me." "Welcome to the village of beautiful women." "[growls]" "Hubba!" "Hubba!" "Oh, man!" "You chicks are pretty!" "Come on!" "Do the monkey with me!" "Come on!" "[Tarzan yell] [Tarzan yell]" "So you're one of them screamer types, too, huh?" "Wait a second." "Hello." "melissa:" "Christopher!" "What's going on out here?" "JOHNNY:" "If you don't get off of me..." "Did you let that imbecile follow you back to the village?" "christopher:" "Well, kind of." "Hmm." "We're going to have to take care of him now that he's found the island." "I could be the town masseuse." "Looks like we're going to have to do the virgin sacrifice." "I took one of them massage courses in the mail." "BOTH:" "Guards!" "Now, ladies, there's no point in fighting." "I've got enough rubbing oil for everybody." "Don't I get a last request?" "You'll get nothing and like it." "Tell it like it is, sister!" "Oh, great Athena, we give you this virgin as a sacrifice to your beauty and womanhood." "Did she say virgin?" "And I ask that you bless our plentiful land with great fortune and mirth." "Excuse me, ma'am, but--oh!" "We offer this heathen in your name." "Oh!" "Yeah, whatever." "Huuuh!" "christopher:" "I got a bad feeling about this." "[women screaming]" "Aah!" "Well, that was fun." "Oooooh!" "Hi there." "Welcome to the island of beautiful men." "I can already tell you're going to feel right at home here." "Son, you look like you could use a refresher." "We were all about to take a swim." "I've got an extra swimsuit if you'd care to join us." "1 , 2, 3, Hyah!" "Baby!" "Sassy!" "Studly." "Check the pecs." "Hee!" "Ha!" "Huh!" "Man, I'm pretty." "Do the monkey with me!" "Come on!" "Hey there, baby." "Oh!" "Uh!" "Yeah, whatever." "A loaf of bread, container of milk, stick of butter." "A loaf of bread, container of milk, stick of butter." "Johnny!" "Hey, Johnny Bravo!" "A loaf of milk, a stick of bread, a container of butter." "Gee, Johnny, I'm so glad you came all the way to my school just to see me." "Sorry, kid, I'm actually on my way to pick up some groceries for momma, all right?" "Now, where was I?" "A loaf of butter, a stick of milk... all my friends are dying to meet you, especially my teacher" "Miss Babe." "Miss Babe." "And I could get you into my class." "If you wanted to meet her, that is." "I guess I could get momma's loaf of buttermilk later." "Good." "Since today's show and tell day, you can be my subject." "What do I have to do?" "Just be your dreamy self and let me show you and tell about you." "Hey, do I look ok?" "And then my cat coughed up this thing that kind of looks like George Washington." "Next up is little Suzy." "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the world's greatest superhero:" "Bravoman!" "ALL:" "Ooh!" "A real superhero!" "Hey, what are all these kids doing here?" "Oh!" "Oh, boy!" "Oh, wow!" "Now look here, kids, I'm not exactly a real superhero." "Sure, you're not." "I've got a real thing for big, strong superheroes." "Wanna see me comb my hair really fast?" "Hyah!" "Ha!" "Ho!" "CLASS:" "Oh, boy!" "WOMAN:" "Help!" "The bank is being robbed!" "is anyone here a superhero?" "Cool!" "The bank is being robbed!" "Yeah!" "Now Bravoman can go smash the bad guy with his bravo powers." "Oh, you will pay for this." "[siren]" "Uh, look, folks, you're gonna have to step back." "There's a robbery going on in there." "Yes, sir." "No problem, officer." "Officer, this is Bravoman." "He's a superhero, and he's here to stop the bad guys." "Yay!" "You hear that, fellas?" "There's a superhero here." "Hey!" "Let's go get some doughnuts!" "Yaaaaay!" "I just found out who the bad guy is." "It's Sweetcheeks, the candy-powered villain!" "I just love a man who stands up to super-villains." "Stand back, everybody!" "Huh!" "Bravoman is here." "[cheering]" "All right, hold it, hold it, you." "Drop" "kids:" "Yay!" "Wow!" "Did you see the way Bravoman just let Sweetcheeks think he was getting away?" "You know, you can stop now." "I already got an "A" on my project." "That was very brave." "I'm gonna get you an "A-plus"." "[laughing]" "What joy it brings me to rob and steal, and generally do evil." "Now look here, mister-- don't force me to whip you right here." "How about I whip you?" "With my licorice whip?" "Aah!" "Oh, good golly." "Cool!" "Sweetcheeks tied up Bravoman!" "Yeah!" "But Bravoman totally escaped." "[cheering]" "By stealing all the children's candy, I shall have total control over their snack time." "Ok, candy boy." "I didn't want it to have to come to this, but" "Hoo-wah!" "Aaaaah!" "[crash]" "Man, it's dark in here." "[echo] Dark in here, Dark in here." "Hey, Johnny, I have a plan." "I lure Sweetcheeks over to this hole, and you can beat him up." "[crunching] [crunch crunch]" "Excuse me, sir, aren't you the evil villain Sweetcheeks?" "I'll bet you're terribly frightened of me, aren't you?" "Yes, sir, I am." "But it would really scare me if you'd just back up a bit towards that manhole." "Very well, hee hee!" "Ho ho!" "Ha ha ha!" "Oh, man." "Now's my chance." "I can catch Sweetcheeks." "[rat bites]" "Aaaaah!" "Whooooooaaaaah!" "[crash]" "Aw, man, that does it!" "This is my favorite shirt." "I gotta go wash up." "Aaaah!" "Ha ha ha ha ha!" "As a token of my extreme hatred for all people in the world, I shall change this child into a large chocolate bunny!" "Aaaah!" "With a caramel center?" "With an exceptionally large caramel center!" "Aaaah!" "This thing ought to wash me up pretty good." "Bravoman, come quick!" "Sweetcheeks got little Suzy!" "Uhh!" "What'd you say?" "Ooh!" "Aaaah!" "[screaming]" "Whoa!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "Aaaaaah!" "Are you ok?" "I sure am-- thanks to Bravoman." "Aaaaaah!" "I'm melting!" "Oh, what a world!" "What a world!" "Bravoman saved us!" "Yay!" "Yay!" "Yay!" "[Johnny screaming]" "Oof!" "ALL:" "Wow!" "Bravoman's the greatest!" "Man, these kids are smart." "Pretty impressive superheroing, wouldn't you say, Miss Babe?" " Babe." " Whatever." "Hey, how's about me and you go off and pick me out a new costume?" "Huh!" "Oh, well, uh, you're wonderful and all, but I already have a boyfriend." "I'll bet he's no Bravoman, huh?" "Hyah!" "Right again, Bravoman." "kid:" "Hey!" "It's Pretty Boy!" "Pretty Boy..." "Ready, sweetie?" "Oooh!" "Pretty Boy, looking gooooood!" "Don't worry, Bravoman." "You'll always have me." "Use your heat vision!" "Use your heat vision!" "On which one?" "NARRATOR:" "When flying across the ocean, there are only two ways to fly:" "first class... and no class." "Actually, lady, on some airlines it's a compliment to be called an air waitress." "Ooh!" "Man, them air waitresses sure are testy." "Huh!" "Uhh!" "Ooh!" "Aaah!" "Ow." "That hurts." "[humming] whoooaaaah!" "Uhh!" "Aaaaaah!" "Aah!" "La da di di da" "Look out, kid!" "Oh!" "Ow!" "That guy broke my leg!" "Hey!" "He hurt Jungle Boy!" "Somebody needs to do something." "Yeah." "We can't let him get away with that." "Hello!" "I'm poisonous." "Ok, Phil, we know you're poisonous." "I am!" "Like, once, I bit my tongue and I passed out for, like, 3 days." "Everybody who's poisonous, raise your arms and hands high." "I guess none of us is poisonous, are we?" "Well, I might be." "Who are you to say who's poisonous and who's not?" "Yeah, poison this." "[fighting]" "Uh, hi, there." "Do you guys know where l can find a phone?" "Get him!" "What the heck are you so mad about?" "I'm not doing anything." "Well, it looks like man has gone mad in the jungle, this time in the form of a tall, blond stranger named Johnny Bravo." "The animals have formed a militia to capture this Johnny Bravo and bring him to his final justice." "Excellent." "If I can make the animals hate this blond oaf, they will see Jungle Boy as a tiny version of the oaf that hurt them." "An oaflet, if you will." "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "We will not let this man escape, but be warned!" "He is armed and dangerous!" "He has a gun?" "Oh, I'm sorry." "I meant to say he's dangerous and has arms." "Oh, ouch." "Rub it in my face, why don't you?" "All I have to do is capture this Johnny Bravo, and the animals will adore me." "I will be the ape that captured the man that hurt Jungle Boy." "Hey-- wait a minute." "This is a bear trap." "I ain't no bear." "Oh, wait, sorry." "That one's mine." "Yeeeeooooow!" "Okey-dokey." "ostrich:" "Hey, look, guys." "He trapped Louis in a trap." "Well, that was redundant." "Get him!" "Oh, momma!" "RAYMOND:" "Prepare to die, you hairless ape!" "Hey, you're the jerk who hurt Jungle Boy!" "Hyah!" "Ha!" "Huh!" "Hyah!" "Take that, Magilla." "Mommy." "[crash] [muffled groans]" "Well, I don't think there's a human alive stupid enough to be caught like this, but, uh, I'm running out of ideas." "Oh, pretty little momma." "The new Vendela calendar, ahh." "Hey, who turned out the lights?" "I did it." "I did it!" "I captured the man!" "Ahh ha ha ha ha!" "JOHNNY:" "You know, something tells me I should be feeling really stupid right now." "We're not actually gonna eat him, are we?" "Well, personally, I can't stand humans, unless we're making people jerky." "I love people jerky." "Hey, what do you say you let me out of here and I'll order you all some pizza?" "Mmm, pizza!" "Let me at it!" "I like crispy crust." "Will you idiots stop it?" "We have to cook and eat Johnny Bravo to let man's world know they're not welcome here." "animals:" "Yeah!" "Let's cook him and eat him!" "JUNGLE BOY:" "Hey!" "Wait a second!" "You didn't mean to hurt anybody, did you, Mr. Johnny?" "Of course not, little kid." "I wouldn't hurt a fly." "It's a lie." "It's a lie!" "I think we should let him go." "His mommy probably misses him." "Well, if Jungle Boy says we should let him go, we should let him go." "animals:" "Yeah." "Forget it, you big bunch of baboons!" "You come anywhere near my prisoner, and I'll snap him like a twig!" "Hey, don't hurt my hair, man." "JUNGLE BOY:" "Mr. Monkey man, don't be rude." "Get him!" "Get him!" "[snap]" "Ow!" "Ooh!" "Ow!" "[muffled words]" "What the-- l'm poisonous, ha ha!" "Curse you, you poisonous... [crash]" "Who's the man?" "Who's the man?" "I told you I was poisonous!" "Well, it looks like the day's been saved again thanks to Jungle Boy." "Hey!" "I was the one that poisoned him!" "So how does it feel having saved the jungle and making a new friend?" "I'm just glad he's ok." "What about my needs?" "And you, Mr. Johnny Bravo, how do you feel?" "Hyah!" "Hungry." "Hey, kid, what do you say we go grab ourselves some chow?" "[snap]" "Hey!" "My arm!" "What?" "What?" "ANNOUNCER:" "Hello, Johnny!" "It's activity time!" "There's a rhino hiding somewhere in this room." "Can you find him before the kids at home do?" "Hey, no problem." "Excuse me." "Time's up." "Ha ha ha!" "I'm right here, you big dumb jerk!" "Hey buddy-- you seen any rhinos around here?" "NARRATOR:" "The woods-- Pure." "Clean." "A place where animals roam freely and the average man can get in touch with nature." "A world of peace and quiet." "JOHNNY:" "Ow!" "Momma!" "Watch it, will ya?" "These things are itchy." "Now keep still, dear." "Just one more pine cone, and you'll have the perfect outdoor leisure suit." "Back in a flash." "Whoo!" "This is so much fun." "For you, maybe." "[crickets chirping]" "Okey-dokey." "Any day now, momma." "Ok." "[wolf howls]" "Momma!" "I'm coming, momma!" "Momma?" "Momma?" "Hyah!" "Yeah, that's the stuff." "Pretty boy!" "Maybe she went into this cave to get away from the coyotes." "[crash] [cuckoo clocks go off]" "Noooooooooooo!" "My clocks!" "The time!" "The time!" "What are you doing in my cave, son?" "Didn't you see the signs?" "It says, "stay out!"" "No. lt says "Do not enter without--"" "Shut up, kid!" "I know what it says." "You have any idea who I am?" "Uh, a bear in the woods?" "Of course I'm a bear in the woods!" "But I'm not just any bear." "I am Chronos," "Master of all time!" "[thunder]" "Good for you." "You know, I was just looking for my momma, and I should be-- [grrr]" "Man!" "Have you smelled yourself?" "You fool!" "Don't you understand what I'm telling you?" "I control all time!" "Here, I'll prove it to you." "OPERATOR:" "At the tone, the time will be exactly 8:35 and 3 seconds." "You're wrong!" "It's 8:36 and 12 seconds!" "See?" "I'm Chronos," "Master of all time!" "[thunder]" "Do you know what my favorite magazine is?" "Young Bride?" "No. lt's Tyme." "Someday, I'm going to be on the cover." "I'm happy for you and all, mister, but I gotta" "Where do you think you're going?" "You're in big trouble, kid." "You woke me up early from my hibernation." "No, I didn't." "You see that clock?" "It's midnight." "That's a VCR, kid." "Not even I, Chronos, Master of all time, can set one of those things." "What are you doing?" "I'm afraid I'm going to have to eat you, kid." "Uh, you don't want to eat me, bear." "See, I'm too pretty to eat." "You don't understand, kid." "I'm hungry. I haven't eaten in 6 months." "Ever try that, son?" "No." "Being Master of all time, I must strictly adhere to my set schedule." "Am I reaching you, kid?" "No." "See this?" "This is my yearly calendar-- sleep and eat, eat and sleep." "Am I sleeping?" "Nope." "Well, then, guess who's coming to dinner?" "Wait a minute, man, what if I could get you back to sleep?" "Son, my eyelids are impeccably timed with the vernal equinox." "Meaning?" "It's impossible." "What do you say you give me a shot, huh?" "I mean, what have you got to lose?" "You've got exactly... [beep]" "20 minutes." "[beep]" "JOHNNY:" "You're getting sleepy, sleepy... [yawn] Sleepy." "[snores] [roars]" "Not working!" "Besides, this darn watch is 37 seconds off." "[beep]" "ANNOUNCER:" "Welcome to the Tree Channel-- all the excitement of trees, 24 hours a day!" "The birch tree is of the genus betula, and has a smooth, laminated outer bark over a close-grained wood." "[snoring] [beep beep beep] [alarm clocks ringing]" "That's it, kid." "Time's up." "No, it isn't." "I still have 12 minutes left." "That's the VCR, you imbecile!" "I really have to learn how to set that clock." "[panting]" "Aw, man. I think I ditched him." "Here's Johnny!" "Uh, I'm Johnny." "Hey, I'm Chronos." "Nice to meet you." "Hi, Johnny." "Hi, momma!" "Hello, Mr. Bear." "Good morning, ma'am." "Oof!" "Hyah!" "Hee!" "Ha!" "Ho!" "is that supposed to intimidate me, kid?" "Aah!" "Hey, Smokey, these hands are registered as lethal weapons." "[chuckles] Really?" "[trees fall] [momma singing lullaby]" "CHRONOS:" "That voice...." "La la la" "So melodious." "I can't stay awake." "[snoring]" "Me..." "Either." "[snoring] [singing]" "Oh, isn't that just darling?" "I should put those boys to bed." "Night-night, you little dears." "Aw, man." "It's gonna be a looooong winter." "1 , 2, 3, Hyah!" "Baby." "Sassy." "Studly." "Vroom!" "Check the pecs." "Hee-hi-huh!" "Man, I'm pretty." "Do the monkey with me." "Come on." "Hey, there, baby." "Oomph!" "Ah!" "Yeah, whatever." "JOHNNY:" "Oh, mama!" "Hey, there, cutie pants." "Huh!" "H'yah!" "Ho!" "Ha!" "H'yah!" "Am I as studly as the statue of David or what?" "I'd say you're as studly as David..." "Brinkley." "Do you honestly think women are attracted to that kind of macho attitude?" "I honestly do, sugar beets." "Hmm." "Astounding." "[slurp]" "Ohh, pressure." "[ burp ] Bu-bye." "Oh, yeah, she wants me." "Pardon me, Miss." "Gosh, I'm really not very good at this sort of thing-- l'm rather bashful by nature, actually-- but I find you quite beautiful." "Would you go out with me?" "Oh, aren't you sweet?" "Of course I will." "Here's my phone number." "Wait a sec." "That ain't possible!" "How'd you do that, mister?" "Do what?" "Get that little chick's phone number." "She wouldn't give it to me, and look at me." "Huh?" "Well, sir, women like a man with depth." "When I speak to a girl, I always express my true feelings in a sensitive way." " What?" " Beg your pardon?" " What was that word?" " Sensitive." "Now, listen, mister." "I ain't got no time for you to be talking Greek." "How'd you bag that babe?" "Aw, fella, somebody's got to teach you a thing or two about..." "Sensitivity" "Sensitivity" "Show that girl you really give a "D"" "Show her your mind is occupied" "With more than the pictures in the TV Guide" "Show her you've got a bit of bona fide" "Sensitivity" "Sensitivity" "Sensitivity" "Sensitivity" "Makes for a groovy conductivity" "The base word "sensitive"" "Sensitive" "Now, that's an adjective" "Adjective" ""l-t-y" is a suffix they found" "To tack on the end and make it a noun" "And that turns sensitive to sensitivity!" "Sensitivity" "Sensitivity" "Sensitivity" "Sensitivity" "Sensitivity" "Sensitivity" "Sensitivity" "Hey, hold on there, music boy." "What does grammar have to do with getting chicks?" "Nothing if you're Sly Stallone, but look here, Johnny" "Whoa!" "How'd you know my name?" "That doesn't matter." "All that matters is that..." "Everybody's got a name" "Hey, what's your name?" "Your special little claim to fame" "Hey, what's your name?" "I got a pal whose name is Jim" "And when I want to talk to him, I say, "Hey, Jim!"" "That's how he knows I'm talking to him" "Look, mister," "This is getting really old really fast." "Ok, Johnny." "Come on." "We're going to teach you about sensitivity." "You like her, Johnny?" "Oh, baby." "She is so fine." "Next lesson, Johnny observation." "Look, she's got a pooch." "That gives you something to talk about." "Keep your eyes open, Johnny." "Observation is a noun" "That means you know exactly what is going down" "Observation is a way" "For Johnny and the girl to start a repartee" "Howdy, there, my beauty" "Hello, sir, how do you do?" "Oh, isn't he a cutie?" "But not as cute as you" "See?" "Observation, Johnny, it just clears the fog" "All I had to do was notice she had a dog" "Observation-- it'll get you far lt'll get that girl out of your dreams and into your car" "Try it, Johnny" "Ok, but stand back." "Hey, there, foxy lady." "Oh, hello." "That's a fine-looking weenie dog you got there." "Hmm." "Thank you." "Say, how about you and me sharing a soda right now?" "Oh!" "My Fluffy!" "Oh, mama!" "Runaway weenie dog!" "Hubba, hubba, hubba." "I'm coming, Fido." "Got you." "Hmm." "She might still go out with me." "Oh, thank you, sir." "Thank you." "is there any way I can repay you?" "Well, you could grant me the pleasure of taking you out to dinner." "Oh!" "The pleasure's all mine." "Can I come?" "[ grr ]" "Or you could just bring me back some pie." "Hey, get a look at that chick at the counter." "I bet if I went over there and flexed my pecs" "She'd pour that phosphate down your pants." "Fella, you're too masculine." "You know that?" "Why, ain't that like being too ethical?" "Johnny, a woman likes a man who's in touch with his feminine side." "You got to think like one of them." "Meaning..." "Matching your shirts and pants" "Purely by winds of chance" "Won't leave her impressed" "Poetry by the lake" "Baking the girl a cake" "Does much more than beating your chest" "Your feminine side, boy, your feminine side" "Whenever you can, favor Jekyll over Hyde" "Let's see a shellful of female" "Cracked open and fried" "So you can find your feminine side" "Trust me, Johnny." "Ok." "Hyah." "Excuse me, Miss." "[ gasps ]" "How'd you like to paint the town red with a happening hipster?" "[ laughing ]" "Oh, where did I go wrong?" "MAN:" "Say, you're kind of pretty, and we're on shore leave." "Excuse me just a second." "H'yah!" "Ho!" "Hoo!" "Oh!" "Take that, sailor boys." "Man, I can't wait till next shore leave." "Oh, baby." "I'm going to make her dreams come true." "H'yah!" "And what's your angle?" "I'm going to say, "hey, hot mama, want to go back to my place for a game of Twister?"" "No, no." "Next lesson, Johnny." "Calling a woman "hot mama" isn't the way to win her over." "You've got to show her some respect." "How do I do that?" "M-a-n-n-e-r-s" "That's the way to sure success" "You don't need that hairy chest" "You need manners" "R-e-s-p-e-c-t" "She's a lock, and that's the key" ""Thank you," "please," and "pardon me"" "That's manners" "She's your little sugar dear" "So treat her with respect" "Call 800-ATT instead of just collect lf you try to flip her wig" "Simply just by talking big" "She'll say you're a sexist pig with no manners" "See, Johnny?" "Now, try it, and remember, manners." "Use words like "pardon me," "if you please,"" "and "may I have the pleasure?"" "Pardon me, hot sexy mama, if you'd please to take a look at my studly bod, then I may have the pleasure of you wanting to be my number-one main squeeze." "Excuse me while I make a wish." "[ rumbling ]" "Buffalo?" "Oh!" "Ooh!" "Oh, Johnny, you did it again." "Um, do you want to hand me my teeth?" "They're over there by that shoe store." "It ain't for me, mister." "Maybe you can stand to be sweet and sensitive all the time, but that's not my style." "Well, you know, Johnny, you've got to act polite, thoughtful, and considerate, but no one ever said you got to mean it." "Heck, I'd tell a girl I could turn lead into gold if it would get her to date me." "I'd just be sure to say it in a sincere, sensitive way." "Tell her what you know she'll really..." "Want to hear" "Just be sure you tell her in a..." "Way sincere" "Say it with the candor of a mousketeer" "Keep your eyes on her face" "That's the proper hemisphere" "Come again?" "The easiest way to a woman's heart is sincerity." "If you can fake that, you've got it made." "You've got it made" "You've got it made" "The women will flock like an Easter parade" "So much for flowers and serenades" "Learn how to fake it, learn how to fake it, Johnny" "And you've got it made" "Boy, you've got it made." "JOHNNY:" "Hold up there, fella." "What's the matter, Johnny?" "Oh, hello, ladies." "I can explain." "Really, I..." "Hey, girls, what say we go make a wish?" "I think that's a fine idea." "WOMAN:" "Oh, please." "I've never seen anything quite like that." "Temporary insanity, ladies." "That's what it was." "What a jerk." "[ whistling ]" "Ahh, it's a beautiful day, the kind of a day where nothing can go wrong." "Johnny?" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Johnny!" "You forgot your pants!" "Oh, man. I thought it was kind of drafty." "[ man in car laughing ] Oh, look at that!" "Well, that's a fine kettle of fish." "[ vehicle approaching ]" "Hi, there." "My car just broke down, and I was wondering if you guys could give me a lift." "I'm on my way to visit my Aunt Jebidisa, and I'd sure hate to be late." "She lives in this spooky house up on Widow's Peak." "ALL:" "Spooky house?" "!" "Jinkies!" ""Jinkies"?" "Hey, gang, what do you say we give this guy a lift?" ""Jinkies"?" "Hop in, stranger." "Don't worry." "I don't bite." "Does she?" "Whoa!" "Hey, Scoob, dig this guy's crazy hairdo." "Ha ha ha!" "Yeah!" "Ha ha ha!" "That's her house right up there." "Oh!" "[ thunder ]" "ALL:" "Ooh!" "Spooky!" "Yeah, whatever." "Aunt Jebidisa!" "Like, this place looks deserted." "[ spooky voice ] Get out!" "[ spooky voice growling ]" "Zoinks!" "Oh, man, you're pretty." "[ spooky voice ] You're not welcome here." "SHAGGY:" "Well, it's been nice knowing you, Johnny." "Uh-huh." "Hang on a minute, gang." "It looks like we're up to our ascots in a mystery." "A mystery?" "[ gulp ]" "Aunt Jebidisa!" "Aunt Jebidisa!" "Aunt Jebidisa!" "Aunt Jebidisa!" "Aunt Jebidisa!" "Aunt Jebidisa!" "Hey, Scoob, dig this crazy broom closet." "Like, maybe there's food inside." "Yeah, yeah, yeah!" "Get out!" "Zoinks!" "A ghostly gardener!" "BOTH:" "Yow!" "Aunt Jebidisa!" "Oomph!" "My glasses!" "I can't see without my glasses." "My glasses!" "I can't be seen without my glasses!" "Jinkies!" "Everything's dark." "I've gone blind!" "I'm only going to say this once-- don't...touch..." "The glasses!" "Zoinks!" "You know, we got to keep meeting like this." "Oh, don't be silly, guys." "It's just a harmless old rake, but I'll bet it's a clue to your Aunt Jebidisa's disappearance." "Hey, gang, look, the ghost left flour on the handle." "Why would a ghost be covered in flour?" "Easy, silly." "Because it's not a ghost." "You understand what that dog says?" "Sure." "We all do." "Come on, gang." "Let's split up." "Now, hold on a second there, mister." "We're going after some creepy ghost person, and you want us to split up?" "Well, yeah." "Want to get lost with me?" "I'll give you a scooby snack." "Aah!" "Scooby, you and Fred check upstairs." "Velma and I will look in the basement." "Daphne." "I mean, Scooby, you and Velma check upstairs, and Fred and I will look in the basement." "Right." "Ok, gang." "Let's go." "Well, Mr. Bravo, I guess that leaves us with the kitchen." "Come on." "Why do I have to get stuck with jughead?" "Hey, Johnny, check out this crazy pantry." "[moaning]" "Zoinks!" "Like, it's the ghostly gardener." "What the... [ groaning ]" "Apple core!" "Baltimore." "Who's your friend?" "Me!" "Now, hold on, everybody." "H'yah hip hoo!" "All righty." "Come on, baby, let's take my car" "To the place where dreams come true lt's a mile off the interstate" "And if you want to dance, well, that's there, too" "At the happy haunted sunshine house" "We can groove" "Oh, yeah" "Well, there's cobwebs" "Everyone's dead" "But once the sun shines in" "We'll paint the place red" "Don't be" "Don't be scared, girl" "When we monster mash lt's out of this world" "Come on, baby, kick off your shoes" "Wave your hands from side to side" "Come on, baby" "We'll dunk our heads in the apple bin" "Maybe if you're lucky, you'll be mummified [ humming ]" "Maybe if you're lucky, you'll be mummified" "Jinkies." "At the happy haunted sunshine house" "Jinkies." "Jinkies-- isn't that a breakfast cereal or something?" "Zoinks!" "Like, looks like we're going to get hedged." "Whoa!" "What the" "Like, look out below!" "Oh, I knew I shouldn't have worn high heels today." "Don't worry, Daph." "Help is on the way!" "Oomph!" "Good work, gang." "We captured the ghost!" "Now let's see who the ghostly gardener really is." "ALL:" "Professor Hyde-white!" "Where's my Aunt Jebidisa, you big freak?" "Wait a second." "ALL:" "Harry the hypnotist?" "Harry the hypnotist?" "It can't be." "ALL:" "Bigfoot?" "Don Knotts?" "Joe Barbera?" "Who is that?" "All right, all right." "Enough with the silly masks." "Holy..." "Aunt Jebidisa!" "It was you all along." "But--but why?" "I was trying to scare you away, Johnny, because, quite frankly, I just don't like you." "What do you mean, auntie?" "You are an embarrassment to the family name." "Does that mean I can't come visit anymore?" "Ooh, I was almost rid of him, and I would have done it, too, if it hadn't been for you meddling kids." "Gosh, Aunt Jebidisa." "We're sorry." "Like, we didn't mean any harm." "is there anything we can do to make it up to you?" "Well..." "Oh, man." "This rope is really binding my pits." "Now, let's have some fun." "How about it, handsome?" "[ laughing ]" "Like..." "[ gulp ]" "Scooby-dooby-doo!" "[ muttering and sputtering ]" "Hey, pal, hop in." "I'll give you a lift." "[muttering and sputtering]" "1 , 2, 3, hyah!" "Baby." "Sassy." "Studly." "Mmm!" "Check the pecs." "Huh!" "Ha!" "Huh!" "Man, I'm pretty." "Do the monkey with me." "Come on." "Hey there, baby." "Ooh!" "Ah!" "Yeah, whatever." "Oh, mama." "Millions of chicks at the push of a button." "Hello!" "I should have tried this internet thing long ago." "Hey, all you hot mamas, want to talk to a steaming' hunk of cyber-fella?" "FEMALE voice:" "Wow." "Are you really a steaming' hunk?" "Let's just say I take up a lot of cyberspace." "Oh, wow." "We should totally get together." "How's right now?" "Right now's perfect." "Huh!" "Right on." "I am going to hit a homer today." "Hey!" "Who's that handsome guy?" "Hello, 91 1 emergency." "There's a handsome guy in my house." "Oh, wait a second." "Cancel that." "It's only me." "[ splash ]" "Oh, you drive me wild!" "Hyah!" "[ doorbell rings ]" "Showtime!" "Coming!" "Hi." "You must be Johnny." "I'm Carol." "Uh..." "You know, it really feels weird hooking up with someone over the internet." "Doesn't it feel weird?" "Hey, can I use your phone before we go?" "Um..." "Yeah." "Oh, great." "Thanks." "You can have some of that if you want." "What?" "My salt lick." "You can have some." "What about germs?" "Oh, you look clean enough." "Now, let's see here." "Shoot!" "Oh, well, let's just go." "Can you hand me my purse?" "Um... how about if I pay for dinner?" "Oh, wow." "Thanks." "You're the best." "It is so nice to have a day off." "I work at a real-estate firm, and I..." "What are you staring at, Johnny?" "Um..." "Nothing." "Uh!" "You know, don't you?" "[ sobbing ]" "They always know!" "Oh, now, look here, ma'am." "I don't care if you're an antelope." "You don't?" "No." "Come on." "Let's go get us some chow." "You are such a gentleman." "Yeah, I know." "[ horns honking ]" "JOHNNY:" "Ooh!" "That was-- ooh!" "Hey!" "I think that might--ooh!" "I'm sure they have insurance and everything." "Now, don't you think you ought to--oh!" "Well, I guess red doesn't always have to mean stop." "These cars are so badly designed." "Look, you want me to drive?" "I've got thumbs." "Oh, no, no, no." "You're so sweet." "That's ok." "I'm fine." "Crazy women antelope drivers!" "[ muffled ]" "Dang!" "There goes my premium again." "You won't believe what I have to pay for insurance." "Oh, mama." "[ calliope playing ] 2 for the carnival, please." "[ sniffs ] lsn't this romantic, Johnny?" "This is romantic, Carol." "I agree." "Whoopee!" "Ride 'em, cowboy!" "Yes, sir!" "Oh, man, this ain't gonna be pretty." "Hello!" "Look, men." "It's Pegasus." "No." "Wait a second." "No, it's not." "May I help you, sir?" "Table for 2, please." "I'm sorry, sir." "We only serve humans." "Wait a minute." "Aren't you Mike Stevens?" "Why, yes." "You went to college with my father." "l-- Oh, my gosh!" "Carol?" "Oh, wow!" "I didn't even recognize" "Oh, my goodness!" "You've gotten so big." "Oh, you say that to all the antelope." "You look great, Mike." "Thanks." "You..." "Well, you look fabulous." "Come on." "I'll get you guys a table." "Just keeps getting weirder and weirder." "Thanks, Mike." "Whoops." "Well, you know, that's ok." "I'll stand." "So, what can I get you two?" "Yeah." "I'll have the crab." "Hmm..." "Um..." "I'll have some grass." "Just a little, though." "I usually just chew the same bite for hours." "Coming right up." "Let me ask you something, honey." "Why do you want to date a human?" "Oh, shoot, Johnny." "You're so sweet." "I can't lie to you." "I'm trying to teach my boyfriend a lesson." "He's so possessive." "I'm really sorry, but I'm basically using you to get back at him." "I hope you don't mind." "Um, no." "No, that's cool." "I can deal with that." "Say, he ain't a moose or anything, is he?" "Should I be nervous?" "MAN:" "You better be nervous!" "If I catch you messing around with my Carol, I'll pinch your trachea shut!" "Oh, Nat, you're just..." "Just impossible!" "See what you think of this." "That was new." "Oh!" "You playboy!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Hey!" "Come on now!" "Hang on a second, mister!" "I'd never lay a hand on your lady." "Why?" "What's wrong with her?" "Nothing." "I just" "Liar!" "Aah!" "How about a little static electricity, you jerk?" "!" "I never did like shellfish." "Get him, Johnny." "Go on, Johnny." "Get him." "Get him." "Get him, Johnny." "Oh, baby." "Where's Mrs. Paul when you need her?" "Aah!" "COP:" "Well, well, what have we here?" "A couple of troublemakers, eh?" "Uh-oh." "Well, we know a place where you can make all the trouble you want." "Really?" "Oh, Johnny, I just feel awful about this." "I really do." "You know, there's a lesson here." "4-legged chicks are nothing but trouble." "The bottom one's mine!" "Go near it and die!" "Don't you make me step on you, man." "NARRATOR:" "In Northern Spain lies the quaint little town of Pamplona, where, once a year, thousands of people flock to witness the annual running of the bulls." "Of course, Pamplona has other attractions." "You got that right, mister." "Hey there, Spanish senorita." "Sprechen sie love?" "It's her, isn't it?" "It's not me." "It's her, right?" "[ woman screams ]" "Oh, yeah." "When a woman screams, I just feel the need to be there." "Excuse me, but-- [ men shouting ]" "Wait a minute." "Can you" "The bull!" "The bull!" "Bull?" "What are they talking about?" "Uh-oh." "Yay!" "Yay!" "Yay!" "[ cheering ]" "Thank you." "Hyah!" "Thank you very much." "Thank you for caring." "Excuse me, mister, but your zipper's down." "[ zip ] [ sobbing ]" "I hate men who cry." "Hey, how'd you like to watch the show in 3-D, sweet thing?" "Hyah!" "Hyah!" "Hyah!" "[ yawn ]" "Excuse me, senor, but you'll be needing this." "Thanks, kid." "What beauty through yonder mirror breaks?" "It's me, and I want to give me to you." "[ woman yawns ]" "Hey, don't bother me now, kid." "I'm waxing poetic-like, all right?" "I said, don't bother... me..." "Man." "Uh, excuse me, but you and me, we got to fight." "I'm sorry, friend, but violence is not the answer." "I know, but see, like, you got the cape." "So you and me, we got to fight." "I've got nothing against you." "And I got nothing against you, but you got the cape." "So you and me, we got to fight." "Unless, of course, you're..." "Chicken." "Chicken?" "Come on, mister." "I'll show you who's chicken." "Yay!" "Yay!" "Yay!" "Would a chicken do this?" "Yay!" "Yay!" "Yay!" "I think not." "Oh!" "Oh, man." "Whoa!" "Uh!" "Somebody wants their big bull butt kicked." "Uh, watch the cuticles, huh, babe?" "Ooh..." "Ooh..." "Ooh..." "Ahh..." "Ahh..." "Ahh..." "Thank you." "Thank you very much." "Ooh..." "Ooh..." "Ooh..." "Thank you." "Thank you very much." "Ooh!" "Whoa!" "Ooh!" "Now..." "It's personal." "Ah!" "Hyah!" "Thank you." "Thank you very much." "Hyah!" "Hyah!" "Hyah!" "[ cheering ]" "Yah!" "Yah!" "Hee!" "Ha!" "Huh!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hee!" "Ooh!" "Huh!" "Ha!" "Sizma!" "All right, hold it." "Hold it." "I got to tell you this, as a friend." "Your shoelace is untied." "Oh." "Thanks." "So, then he says to me," ""is that horn loaded?"" "Well, I look at him and" "[ Ring ]" "Excuse me a minute." "Yo." "Talk to me." "JOHNNY:" "Mr. Bull." "Look behind you." "Ouch." "[ cheering and applause ]" "Well, I hope you're happy." "Well..." "Yeah." "Why?" "Now this bull's going to be eaten and his hooves turned into ashtrays." "Oh, yodel-a-hee-hoo!" "Who's going to turn that nice bull into ashtrays?" "They are." "Yay!" "Yay!" "Yay!" "Oh, won't you come home, Bill Bailey?" "Won't you come home?" "Hold on a minute." "Hyah!" "I got an idea." "[ whispering ] I cried the whole night long l'll do the cooking, honey I'll pay the rent I know I done you wrong" "Hey, everybody, look up there." "ue?" "ue?" "ue?" "Hop in." "Shotgun!" "The bull, he has escaped." "Aww..." "Aww..." "Aww..." "Ok, who wants to order Chinese?" "BULL:" "Alive, alive-o, alive, alive-o" "Crying cockles and mussels" "Alive, alive-o I'm a powerful Hollywood producer, and I want to make you a movie star." "You I don't need." "Where can I drop you off?" "Uh-uh." "No way." "The kid and I are a team." "Where he goes, I go." "Well, ok, but you're going to be big, baby." "Really big!" "NARRATOR:" "And so Johnny and the bull lived happily ever after, and as the legend goes, if you believe in such things, they traveled to Hollywood and went on to star in such major motion pictures as... and, of course..." "Hey, a guy's got to make a living, huh?" "Hyah!" "MAN:" "Hello, Johnny." "It's activity time." "There's a rhino hiding somewhere in this room." "Can you find him before the kids at home do?" "Hey, no problem." "Excuse me." "MAN:" "Time's up!" "Ha ha ha!" "I'm right here, you big, dumb jerk!" "Hey, buddy, you seen any rhinos around here?" "I am a tan man." "I am a buttercup." "I'm as sweet as can be." "Please won't you buy some cookies from me?" "Listen up, kid." "I ain't got the time." "Go on." "Bother somebody else with your rhyme." "I'm selling cookies." "Almost free." "Please won't you buy some cookies from me?" "Hyah!" "I'm on a diet." "Can't you see?" "Hyah!" "And cookies are very bad for me." "Now go on, kid." "Just let me be." "I will not buy any cookies from... thee." "Thee?" "You wish that you could rhyme like me." "Hyah!" "Ha!" "Huh!" "Hyah!" "Huh!" "They're not that expensive." "So, why won't you buy?" "You must think that I'm a real gullible guy." "Hyah!" "I don't want no cookies." "They'll turn me to goo." "I'm not going to buy any cookies from you." "Hyah!" "Oh!" "Beat it, kid." "I'm making lunch." "How about some chocolate crispy crunch?" "Would you eat them with a fox?" "If the fox was Courtney Cox." "But since that is not the case, get that stuff on out my face." "Man, this rhyming stuff really hurts my tongue." "Hopefully it came today-- the thing for which I sent away." "Yeah, it's here." "Now all is well." "My jumbo jug of stud's hair gel." "Johnny, I'm surprised at you." "For this you spent $12.92?" "That gel won't do you any good, but I bet some lemon sprinkles would." "Would you buy a peanut swirl, even from a little girl?" "I will not buy them, not one box." "I will not eat them with a fox, not with bagels or with lox, and do not tempt me with Courtney Cox." "I will not buy a peanut swirl." "I will not buy it, little girl." "I want no cookies, can't you see?" "Now get that stuff away from me!" "Aah!" "That was close." "A clean escape." "Good thing I am in such great shape." "Hey there, Miss." "I'm Johnny B." "Want to spend the day with me?" "Sure, I will, on one condition." "You help me with my cookie mission." "I will not eat them, not one box." "I will not eat them with a fox, not a crunch and not a swirl." "I will not buy them, little girl." "I want no cookies, can't you see?" "Now go away and let me be." "Hyah!" "Hyah!" "Hyah!" "[ ring ]" "Hello." "Would you eat them on a dare?" "No way, kid." "They'll muss my hair." "This place is huge." "I'll go inside." "There's lots of places I can hide." "I'm a poet, and I don't know it." "I make a rhyme every time." "Whoa!" "This one's big and yummy, too." "I'm really getting sick of you." "Hyah!" "Whoa!" "I have to say, it's quite a day." "Oh!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Feels as though I hit my head." "Am I alive, or am I dead?" "You're alive." "Don't be afraid." "These go great with lemonade." "Would you eat them on a boat?" "How about in an overcoat?" "Ok, Johnny, what do you say?" "Will you buy some cookies today?" "That's it, kid." "I've had enough." "I'm really sick of all this stuff." "I don't want cookies." "Can't you see?" "Now get your stuff away from me." "I will not buy them, not one box." "I will not eat them with a fox." "I will not buy a peanut swirl." "I will not buy it, little girl." "I will not eat them on a boat, with a goat, or in a coat." "You drive me nuts." "It's really true." "I've really had enough of you." "You've got until the count of 3 to go away and let me be!" "1 !" "[ crying ] 2." "[ sobbing ] 3--ah, hey, kid." "Come on, kid." "Oh, man." "Come on, kid, please don't cry." "If it means that much, I'll buy. I'll buy." "You will?" "I didn't mean to make you cry." "I'm really not that bad a guy." "If cookies mean that much to you, I'll buy a box." "No, make that 2." "Oh, thank you, Johnny." "You're true-blue." "All folks should have a friend like you." "No big deal, my little scout." "I'm glad that I could help you out." "A buck a box, kid." "Here you go." "Give them here, and then you blow." "[ whistles ] [ train whistle blows ]" "What's with the train, you buttercup, you?" "I just wanted 2 boxes, 2 boxes, 2!" "You've got your 2 boxes, but let me explain." "There's a reason we're using this great big old train." "See, we pass the savings along right to you." "For your lousy 2 bucks, you get a million plus 2." "Bye-bye, Johnny." "Thanks." "La la la la la la la la" "A million and 2 cookies." "Got milk?" "1 , 2, 3, hyah!" "Baby!" "Sassy." "Studly." "Ooh!" "Check the pecs." "Hee ha huh!" "Man, I'm pretty." "Do the monkey with me." "Come on!" "Hey there, baby." "Ooh..." "Aah." "Yeah, whatever." "JOHNNY, VOlCE-OVER:" "It was a day like any other day." "I was standing on the corner of Third and Main waiting for Gabrielle, my date for the afternoon." "[ sniffs ]" "Oh, yeah." "VOlCE-OVER:" "It was a day just like any other day, except for one thing:" "I was sharing the street corner with a clown." "Ah..." "Thank you." "Well, there's another show in an hour." "Psst!" "Hey, buddy!" "You want to hear a joke?" "[ clown laughing ]" "Well, you see, there was this elephant..." "Dag-nab it!" "Slippery lemon." "Don't grow them like they used to." "[ vroom ] [ tires squealing ]" "I thought I told you to get out of town!" "This is my turf, old man." "Turf?" "I'll give you turf, you helot!" "Ooh..." "Making threats, huh?" "I think it's time you retired." "Look, sonny, I'm just trying to make a few dollars, ok?" "Uh..." "Do you have a quarter?" "Yeah..." "About 10,000 of them." "They're in a little something I like to call..." "A bank!" "Watch it, kid." "I used to be funny." "Yeah..." "In the stone age." "I bet I could make you laugh, you green-haired, rosy-cheeked pipsqueak!" "Not a chance." "But, you know, I bet I could make you laugh so hard that it would short-circuit your pacemaker." "I bet I could make you laugh." "Excuse me, are you guys a couple of clowns?" "No." "We're fashion models." "I..." "Hate..." "Clowns!" "I challenge you to a joke-a-thon." "First clown to make the other laugh..." "Wins." "We'll need a victim." "BOTH:" "We can use him." "JOHNNY:" "Yeah... you're steaming', baby." "You, too..." "And you... and you, pretty man." "Oh, man..." "Time flies when you're having fun." "I got to get back and wait for my date." "Ooh!" "[ crash ]" "See?" "A banana peel." "It's a great gag." "Banana peels are passe." "In the 20th century, we use the domino principle." "Hey, what are you trying--whoa!" "Ooh!" "[ whimpers ]" "See?" "Multiple gags." "That's funny." "Too busy." "Hey, maybe a different pose will make me even more irresistible than I already am." "Hyah!" "Watch this." "[ whistling ]" "Ooh!" "[ snickering ]" "What's the idea?" "You were wearing this sign-- "Kick me." ha ha!" "All right, then." "[ whistling ]" "Ooh!" " [ laughing ]" " Hey!" "You're still wearing the sign." "Ha ha ha!" "Aw, come on, now." "That's comedy." ""Kick me" signs?" "Here, watch this." "See? "l hate rhinos."" "Buddy..." "You got a problem with rhinos?" "I mean, what are you-- some kind of rhinophobe?" "I, uh..." "I really, um..." "Not..." "I..." "I don't know." "Well, I do." "Ooh!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "Jerk!" "Did you see the insulted rhino?" "Now, you have to admit that was funny." "[ moaning ]" "There's no funny in that." "Now..." "Observe." "Oomph!" "Ooh!" "One whole pie." "Impressive." "By the way, I'm being sarcastic." "Watch this." "[ cocks gun ] [ electronic beeping ]" "How do I do my funny?" "Volume, volume, volume." "Oh!" "Unh!" "Huh!" "Sorry, mister, but I can't afford to muss my hair." "Hey, no problem." "Ow!" "Ha ha ha!" "Face it, blond boy." "There's no escaping the power of my funny." "Back there." "Thanks, pal." "Oh!" "Ohh!" "Heh, hah, huh!" "Oh!" "Aw, man... I'm gonna be late." "Hyah!" "Johnny Bravo, you're late." "I may be late, honey--huh!" " but I look good." "I'm funny." "No, I'm funny." "Don't tell me that jazz." "I'm funny." "Don't tell me that jazz." "I'm funny!" "Why, you're nothing but an egocentric, selfish, idiotic..." "Ooh!" "Hyah!" "Oh, yeah..." "I have this effect on all women." "No, I'm funny!" "Ooh..." "I just love a man that can make me laugh." "You're both so hysterical!" "BOTH:" "We are?" "And you're both covered in pie." "I just love a man covered in pie." "In fact, why don't you both take me out for pie!" "[ kissing ]" " Ok." " Ok." "But..." "What about me?" "Our plans..." "Our date!" "Clowns!" "They just had to be clowns." "Look..." "I'm a pie-covered man in a box." "Hyah!" "Ow." "Oh, yeah..." "I feel better already." "Aah!" "Yeah, whatever." "[ sizzling ]" "Huh!" "Hah!" "Hi, Johnny." "Don't distract me, kid." "I don't want any of these ultraviolet rays to miss me." "Well..." "I was just wondering if you'd be my chaperone for the second grade dance on Friday." "Sorry, little Suzy." "Friday is my night for cruisin'." "I thought Wednesday was your night for cruising." "Yeah." "That, too." "Ooh..." "Huh!" "Get lost, girlie." "I got to go sun my pecs." "Oh..." "Pleeease, Johnny?" "No!" "Hey there, little lady." "Can I have a double-fudge whip banana split with a little bit of your lovin' to keep it nice and cool?" "As if." "How about if you just give me the lovin'?" "Unh!" "Or..." "Maybe just the banana split." "Aw, she wasn't your type, anyway." "Ok, now I've had about all I can stand." "What'll it take to get you to leave me alone?" "Be my chaperone for the dance." "JOHNNY:" "Man, oh, man..." "Why don't you ask somebody your own size?" "[ blowing nose ] I'm your size." "I'm your age." "I'm your guy!" "Ooh..." "Gross!" "Now, listen here, Skippy." "How'd you like to be cool enough to take Suzy to the dance?" "Wow!" "Yes, sir, I would!" "I would, indeed!" "I can teach you, but you got to want it." "Do you want it?" "!" "Yes, sir!" "Pipe down, kid." "I'm standing right here." "Son... this is hair gel." "Treat it with respect, and it'll be good to you." "Treat it with carelessness, and it'll strike back!" "How?" "Don't ask questions, kid." "Ok, Skippy-san... I'm gonna teach you the old and sacred art of the squirt slide stance." "The what, sir?" "Squirt--huh!" "Slide--ho!" "Stance--huh!" "Now you try it, kid." "Um..." "Squirt--aah!" "Slide--aah!" "Stance--ooh!" "Yeah..." "All right!" "Um..." "We'll build on that." "All right, kid..." "Chicks love a buff bod, so here's what you got to do." "Ooh... ooh..." "Hoo!" "Hyah!" "Ok, kid..." "Now let me see you do 3 of those." "[ grunting ]" " Aah!" " Aah!" "Ok..." "Let's work on something else, all right?" "Hey, you're looking sharp, kid." "I think we're making progress." "Now..." "We're gonna work on cool body language." "Do this-- Hah!" "Huh!" "Hah!" "Huh!" "Huh!" "Hah!" "Aaah!" "Ooh!" "Oh, wish on the bald man, honey!" "I want a pony." "[ gasps ]" "Yay!" "I want a husband!" "Ohh..." "Hmm." "Whatever." "Now what, sir?" "Now we mold your lame little brain into a Bravo brain." "[ laughing ]" "That tickles." "Ok, kid... there's the prey." "Make me proud." "Mind if I court you?" ""Court you"?" "What's the matter with you, kid?" "You sound like you're trying to pick up the Little Rascals or something." "I like the Little Rascals!" "I bet you do, Spanky." "Now watch closely, kid." "I am gonna show you the Bravo way to bag a babe." "Take notes if you want." "Hey there, cutie-pants." "You want to hang with a manly man?" "I'll let you feel my muscles." "Huh!" "Only a dime a minute." "Now, that's a bargain." "Why, yes, it is." "And you're a pig." "Ohh..." "Huh!" "Ooh!" "Aah... [ chain saw buzzing ]" "Hoo!" "Whoa!" "Duh!" "Golly!" "That looks like it hurts, sir." "Yes, indeed!" "Yeah, well..." "That's life, kid." "See, you got to take the impacts of the fallen trees with the good." "All right, kid... see what that bikini's wearing?" "Hello!" "Now go for it." "B-b-but..." "I can't, sir." "I just don't have what it takes!" "Man, what could I have missed?" "You should be a chick-nettin' machine by now." "I don't under-- wait a minute." "Of course!" "Put these on, kid." "skippy:" "Wow!" "Holy mamas!" "Look at all the babies just waitin' to be bagged!" "I think we are ready, little Freddy!" "[ slurping soda ]" "All righty, kid, there's little Suzy." "Now, remember what you been taught." "Hah!" "Hey there, little mama." "Want to go steppin' with me at the dance tonight?" "Johnny, what happened to you?" "You've gotten shorter." "I'm not shorter, I'm just really far away." "Well, who cares?" "Sure, I'll go to the dance with you." "Oh, my gosh!" "I have to pick out something to wear." "[ humming happily ]" "Way to go, kid!" "Handled like a true Bravo trainee." "Aw, that wasn't so tough." "I just..." "Hubba-hubba!" "[ snaps fingers ]" "Now, wait a second!" "Oh, Johnny, we're gonna have the best time!" "Mmm!" "Oh..." "Mama." "[ whip cracking ]" "MAN:" "Remember, kids..." "When taming a lion, always make sure you never turn your back on them." "That's right, kids, because--hoo!" "[ chomp ] [ burps ] [ crowd cheering ]" "JOHNNY:" "And, uh..." "That's one to grow on." "[ echoing ] Hey..." "Echo!" "NARRATOR:" "'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through Aron city not a creature was stirring... except Johnny." "Man, I'm pretty." "[ rumbling ]" "NARRATOR:" "Mama was sleeping." "You can tell by the snoring." "After 4 times today, Jimmy Stewart gets boring." "[ snoring ] [ snoring ceases ] [ quieter snoring resumes ]" "NARRATOR:" "Johnny crept quietly-- to bed's where he rushed." "He would try to fall asleep now, while the whole town was hushed." "[ hoofbeats on roof ]" "NARRATOR:" "What's that?" "!" "Johnny cried." "That's too loud for a mouse." "Hyah!" "Hah!" "Hyah!" "I was right-- there's a crook on my house!" "NARRATOR:" "A bag to steal goodies, a fake beard..." "How passe." "And just look, near the gutter-- lt's his getaway sleigh!" "And without second thought and with nary a pause," "Johnny Bravo mistakenly clocked..." "Santa Claus." "Uh-oh." "NARRATOR:" "Santa knew John was good, though as smart as a gnat." "He was protecting his mama." "Santa couldn't fault that." "Johnny, I'm angry-- of that, there's no doubt." "It's Christmas Eve, pinhead, and Santa's now out." "See, Johnny?" "My arm's broke." "My bag I can't lift." "It's now up to you to give each kid a gift." "Me..." "Doing your job?" "How much does it pay?" "Do I get to meet chicks?" "Can I cruise in the sleigh?" "It's something you'll do for all good kids in bed." "Now get in my outfit, or I'll bust your fat head!" "NARRATOR:" "Santa's red coat is what Johnny would wear... and Santa's red hat took the shape of John's hair." "So Johnny jumped on the sleigh and flew through the night, but he never got any of the reindeers' names right." "JOHNNY:" "On, Yeltsin!" "On, Nixon!" "On, Stinky!" "On, Rose!" "On" "Hey, where's that freak with the big glowing' nose?" "You heard the Grinch-- do not let that reindeer escape!" "[ plugged nose ] I got to get to Santa!" "[ laserfire ]" "NARRATOR:" "So Johnny endeavored at Santa's request... to give each good one listed the gift they loved best." "NARRATOR:" "To the Mayor of Aron city, a new pair of shorts... so he's wearing clean undies when he romps and cavorts." "You promised me no more cavorting!" "Ooh!" "NARRATOR:" "Little Suzy fell asleep waiting for old St. Nick." "Johnny spied out the cookies and ate them quite quick." "[ glass shatters ]" "NARRATOR:" "And he had to admit as he saw Suzy napping..." "Hey, that kid's kind of cute..." "When her mouth isn't flapping." "[ sleigh bells ringing ]" "NARRATOR:" "Jungle boy got a new loin cloth, the Gorilla girls..." "Mary Klay." "[ girls giggling ]" "NARRATOR:" "And a big lump of coal for the evil King Ray." "Sorry, Magilla-- just following orders." "[ ticking ] [ snoring ]" "NARRATOR:" "For Chronos the bear, who's precise in his timing, a clock so specific even he won't be whining." "[ snoring continues ] [ alarm bell ringing ] [ roar ]" "NARRATOR:" "And Scooby-dooby-doo didn't get Scooby snacks." "Santa's gift was more useful." "SCOOBY:" "Reech rerapy?" "Thanks!" "Scooby-doo!" "NARRATOR:" "Johnny circled the globe in the span of one evening..." "Trying to match rightly the gifts he was leaving." "From Asia... to England," "Guatemala... to Dunkirk." "How does Santa stay fat, man?" "This gig is hard work!" "NARRATOR:" "At the end of the list with but one gift to deliver," "Johnny realized something that just made him shiver." "Aw, man, did I blow it!" "What a dumb thing to do!" "I gave mama's gift to the wrong person, but the question is who?" "You're cavorting with some woman named Bunny!" "Admit it!" "Sweetie, l-- [ sleigh bells ringing ]" "NARRATOR:" "Knowing no present would make mama miffed," "Johnny expected the worst, but heard" "MAMA:" "What a great gift!" "The gift says, "from Santa," but I know very well this big ring's from John-John, and it's real diamondelle!" "[ laughing ]" "NARRATOR:" "And there in the corner in red and green wrapping was a present from Santa despite Johnny attacking." "Two gifts for Johnny?" "Will wonders not cease?" "He got two boxing gloves and a brand-new mouthpiece." "But attached was a note that filled Johnny with fear..." "Merry Christmas, you pinhead." "Round two is next year." "1 , 2, 3, hyah!" "Baby!" "Sassy!" "Studly." "Check the pecs." "Hee!" "Ha!" "Huh!" "Man, I'm pretty." "Do the monkey with me!" "Come on!" "Hey there, baby." "Oh!" "Uh!" "Yeah, whatever." "TOUR guide:" "And no tour of Ireland would be complete without a walk through a field of genuine Irish 4-leaf clovers." " Ooh!" " Ooh!" " Ahh!" "TOUR guide:" "As beautiful as they are, 4-leaf clovers are very rare, so as tempted as you might be, please don't pick 'em!" "JOHNNY:" "She loves me, she loves me not." "She loves me, she loves me not." "Dang." "She loves me, she loves me not." "She loves me, she loves me" "Aw, dang!" "She loves me, she loves me not." "She loves me" "And what in the name of Mike do you think you're doing?" "Mike?" "Sorry, ma'am." "Johnny is the name." "Johnny Bravo." "Ha!" "She loves me not." "Aw, dang again." "You know, these" "Ah!" "Uh!" "Ugh!" "Ohh..." "Boy, I'd hate to be that Mike guy." "Ha!" "Ireland, smireland." "What's all the hubbub about this place anyway?" "[coins jangling]" "[mumbling]" "Boy, do I!" "That's it." "I'll kiss this blarney thing and get lucky in love." "Hyah!" "Now all I got to do is find it." "Well, top of the morning to you, stranger." "Does everybody here wear green?" "Well, looks as though you've discovered me crock of gold." "And according to the rules, I owe you a wish." "Hey, aren't you a little young to have a beard?" "Allow me to introduce meself." "Stone's the name." "Barney Stone." "Hey, did you say your name is Barney Stone?" "Aye, indeed I did." "[thinking] Want more luck in your love life?" "[echoes]" "Kiss the Blarney Stone." "[echoes]" "And--and you have magical powers?" "Aye, indeed I do--do--do--do..." "Ah, close enough." "The name's Johnny Bravo." "And I need to kiss you to change my luck." "Pucker up, shorty." "I'll just disguise meself, I will, as a sheep and give him the slip, I will." "Eeny, meeny, Larry, Moe, catch it" "Aw, man." "How am I gonna find him?" "I know." "Scotland rules!" "Now, wait just a Mike lovin' minute!" "Aha!" "Aw, man, this place is weird." "Hyah!" "[call to the post plays]" "I'll be needing meself a ride." "I get the feeling you're playing hard to get." "Whoa!" "Ho!" "Ooh!" "Oh!" "Doh!" "Well, this is nice--oh!" "[crowd cheering]" "Kind of." "Maybe I can lose the crazed hooligan inside." "Oh, baby!" "This is where they make my favorite cereal:" "Fortune Flakes." "Cool!" "[alarm]" "Who goes there?" "My name's Johnny Bravo, sir, and l" "Silence!" "I am the great and powerful Clovy the clover, official mascot of Fortune Flake cereal." "What do you ask of Clovy?" "Well, I'm looking for a little green guy, about so tall, hairy face, running in terror 'cause I got to kiss him." "[crash]" "What the..." "Now, then, off with you, strange one." "I smell a little hairy green rat." "Uh, the one you seek has no desire to kiss you or anything else." "Gotcha!" "Hyah!" "[squeal] [bawk bawk]" "I'm beginning to see a pattern here." "Now, look, kid, it's not that I want to kiss you." "It's just that I have to, so chicks will still dig me." "You dig me?" "Oh, listen, laddie, I'll give you any wish you want, but I'm a-begging you not to kiss me." "Anything?" "Well, just name it, lad." "But for the love of Mike, don't-- don't kiss me." "Ok, here goes nothing." "I wish I could be really attractive to the chicks." "Ah, consider it done." "[snaps fingers]" "And farewell to you, you strange, strange lad." "[rumbling] [clucking]" "Oh, my!" "He's a big one!" "Um..." "Let's get him, girls!" "Well, I'll be flocked." "Me, too." "Oh, shut up." "It's a beautiful day, but not as beautiful as me." ""See the world."" ""Have an adventure."" ""Meet exotic women."" ""They're this way."" "This must be the place." "Howdy there, military mama." "Ever seen guns like these before?" "Huh!" "Hyah!" "Can I help you, Hercules?" "Bravo is the name, ma'am." "Johnny Bravo." "And I'm here to take some of them exotic women off your hands." "Now, if you'll just kindly point me to them..." "Oh, you must have seen our posters." "Why, yes, ma'am." "Now, do I get all the women at once, or do you just kind of send them to me one at a time?" "Well, if you just sign here on the dotted line, everything will become perfectly clear to you." "Huh. "The party of the first part does hereby sign over to the party of the second part--"" "Cool. I love a party." "Blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda." "Where do I sign?" "Here, here, and here." "You might want to save them there autographs, little French fry." "They're gonna be valuable some day." "Oh, I'm sure they will." "[buzz] ls this part of the party?" "WOMAN:" "Congratulations." "You are now a proud member of the French Foreign Legion." "I love the way you say French." "Ha!" "Whoa!" "Oh!" "is there a movie on this flight?" "Oui, monsieur." "It is entitled shut your mouth!" "Haven't seen it." "Any chicks in it?" "Listen up, slime!" "You are now a private in the service of the French Foreign Legion." "Your training will begin immediately!" "Training?" "Hey!" "I'm at the beach!" "Hyah!" "Huh!" "Surf's up." "[whistling sound like incoming bombs]" "Ooh!" "Oh..." "This is nice." "Who are you?" "Aah!" "Sand worm!" "Take that!" "And that!" "Aw, mama." "Hey, sand worms don't talk." "Who are you?" "Mister, I'm Johnny Bravo." "Huh!" "Ha!" "And you just made a big mistake." "I'll say. I never should have fallen for that free exotic vacation bit." "Look at this place." "There's not one massage table." "What is this place?" "Looks like the desert to me." "My skin's gonna get so dry." "[whistling sound]" "Hi there, folks!" "I'm Jackie Jacques!" "And I'm the host of "Find the Fort,"" "the game where you either find the legion fort or you die of thirst in the Sahara desert." "Yay!" "Yay!" "Let's meet our contestants." "Johnny Bravo." "It says here that your hobbies are women, girls, and chicks." "And babes." "Don't forget babes." "And your name is Lawrence?" "That's right." "As in Lawrence of Arabia?" "No." "As in Lawrence of shut up, smart pants!" "Ha ha!" "Well, good luck to both of you." "Yay!" "All right, let's get going." "You're not the boss of me." "Hey!" "You can't leave me out here all alone!" "[sizzling]" "La la la la la la" "What a glorious morning" "Hey, let's race." "Come on, Mr. Lazy bones!" "I'm kind of thirsty." "Thirsty?" "Ha!" "I'm never thirsty." "You see this hump?" "Yeah." "You should get that lanced." "No, silly." "This hump keeps me constantly supplied with moisture." "I can go for days without water." "Ha ha!" "I have a hump, and you don't I have a hump, and you don't" "Oh..." "Geronimo!" "Ah..." "That's better." "Hey there, baby." "In case I drown, I'm counting on you to give me mouth-to-mouth." "Ow!" "You silly!" "That was just a mirage." "You know, an optical illusion." "Man, mirages hurt." "Oh ho!" "It looks like one of our boys is getting a little tired." "What about it, Johnny?" "Think you'll still be able to find the fort?" "Well" "What do you think, folks?" "Yay." "Hey, you got any water?" "No." "Good luck, fellas." "Man, I'm hot." "Thirsty?" "No." "I mean good-looking." "[sizzling] [panting]" "W-water." "Water?" "How about we sing the water song?" "Oh, there was a farmer had a dog" "And water was his name-o" "W-a-t-e-r" "And water was his name-o" "Not the water song." "Anything but the water song." "Hey, what are you looking at?" "Aah!" "Now, hold it!" "You're being very scary." "All right." "I need water, hump boy, not show tunes, and I need it now." "[rumbling]" "Congratulations!" "You found the fort." "We did?" "We did?" "Yay!" "Jackie, tell me what I've won." "Well, you can either stay here and enter the fort or take what's behind door number 2." "Aw..." "Well, I have had it with this place." "I'm taking door number 2." "Congratulations!" "You've won an all-expense-paid trip to Aron city." "Ha!" "Check you later, hump boy." "Gonna miss you, sand worm." "I'm going to the fort, Jackie!" "Ah!" "Who wants to play Twister?" " We do!" " We do!" "Smoothie?" "You know it." "Hey, baby!" "Whoa!" "Man. I hate women drivers." "[ticking] [ring]" "Hyah!" "Aw, man. lt's today." "Today is the day they release the new Farrah Fawcett shampoo!" "Huh!" "Hyah!" "Oh, Farrah, I love the way you make me smell." "[telephone rings]" "Hello?" "Hi, Johnny." "This is little Suzy from next door." "Will you come to my birthday party today?" "I'm busy." "Call me in 15 years when you're a coed." "Please?" "It'll be fun." "No." "You want to come to my birthday party?" "No." "You want to come to my" "No!" "Why not?" "I'm busy, little girl." "Doing what?" "I'm on my way to buy the new" "Farrah Fawcett shampoo for men." "Hyah!" "Farrah Fawcett?" "You know, she's coming to my party." "is not." "is too." "is too." "is not." "is not!" "Not!" "Not!" "Not!" "is!" "is!" "is!" "is!" "Farrah Fawcett is my cousin, and she's coming to my party." "Yeah, right." "And pigs fly." "[oink oink]" "Besides, I'm too big and too handsome to come to a silly little kid party." "Fine. I'm taking your name off of the approved guest list." "Like I care." "[horn honks tune of la cucaracha]" "Ah!" "Wha..." "Oh, man." "Farrah Fawcett." "The only person whose hair is prettier than mine." "Hyah!" "Cousin Farrah!" "Cousin Suzy, happy birthday!" "Did you set up the kissing booth for me?" "I sure did, and I have a lot of different-flavored lipsticks for you, too." "I got to get in there." "[crying]" "You, blond boy, back of the line." "Well, at this rate, we're gonna miss bikini volleyball." "Life is cruel." "Next!" "What's up, dude?" "Give me that!" "You can never be too careful!" "[ticking] lt's a bomb!" "Ah!" "Oh!" "Eek!" "Ah!" "Man, you're spazzing." "All right, you can go in, but the skateboard stays here." "Capisci?" "Capisci." "Later, Captain Spaz." "Kids." "Next." "[alarm]" "Hold it right there, granny." "Empty the pockets." "No way, handsome." "You're gonna have to frisk me." "Next." "Darn it." "[alarm]" "Name?" "Johnny Bravo." "Occupation?" "Johnny Bravo." "Your name has been crossed off the guest list, friend." "Entrance denied." "Look, mister, I got to get in there and meet Farrah Fawcett." "I'm afraid I can't allow that." "Well, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to use my karate on you, mister." "Ha!" "Ha!" "Oh!" "That's why I always carry this handy-dandy cattle prod." "I am here for the party." "Honk, honk." "Sorry, chum." "No clowns allowed." "Who are you calling a clown?" "Ooh!" "That's why I always carry this handy-dandy extendo boxing glove." "Oh!" "Hey!" "JOHNNY:" "Sorry, mister." "It's a matter of overabundant testosterone." "Ha ha ha!" "This is so much fun." "I can't remember the last time I was blindfolded." "Oh, wait." "Yes, I can." "Hee hee hee!" "Oops." "Hee hee!" "[whistling sound]" "Farrah!" "Oh..." "Farrah." "Whoa!" "Oh!" "Ow!" "Doh!" "Ugh!" "Oh..." "Oh, mama." "Hey, what are you supposed to be?" "I'm Smarmy the dinosaur." "Hold on there, mister." "I need to borrow that costume." "No way!" "It's a rental." "You don't understand." "Farrah Fawcett's in there, and I'm out here." "Tough luck, uberman." "Uh!" "Give me the suit!" "Smarmy the dinosaur!" "Wow!" "May I say, Mr. Smarmy, that I have always admired your work?" "Yeah, yeah." "Sure, sure." "Now let me in, all right?" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Thank you, Mr. Smarmy." "One for you." "And one for you." "And one for you." "And one for... for you." "Look!" "It's Smarmy the dinosaur!" " Smarmy!" " Smarmy!" " Ooh!" " Ooh!" "I want to give him a big smarmy hug." "Woo!" "Smarmy!" "Oh, how sweet." "That Smarmy is so nice." "I'm gonna have to give him a big kiss." "Aw, man!" "It's my lucky day." "I'm gonna kiss Farrah Fawcett." "Now, if I could only get this thing off!" "Argh!" "You know, I'm a big fan of yours." "Oh..." "Mama." "[thud]" "Thank you for inviting me to your party, cousin Suzy." "I'm sorry you couldn't meet my neighbor Johnny." "I know. I guess I'm gonna have to find another date for tonight." "Oh, well." "His loss." " Ha ha ha!" " Ha ha ha!" "Oh." "Well, I got to run." "Good-bye, everybody." "[everybody] Good-bye, Farrah." "Hey, come on, get off of me, kid." "Watch it, you little brat." "Hey, don't dis the do, baby." "Don't touch the hair." "1 , 2, 3, hyah!" "Baby!" "Sassy!" "Studly." "Check the pecs." "Hee!" "Ha!" "Huh!" "Man, I'm pretty." "Do the monkey with me!" "Come on!" "Hey there, baby." "Oh!" "Uh!" "Yeah, whatever." "[helicopter]" "WOMAN ON TV:" "Terror grips Aron city." "All across the town the city's yarn is disappearing." "Huh?" "Looks like a job for that angry old chick that solves mysteries and everything." "TV:" "It's winter in the city, and not a sweater, mitten, or scarf remains intact." "[teeth chattering] ln fact, the yarn and wool shortage is so bad, some children have even been reduced to wearing corduroy pants and velour tops that have been too small for years." "[sobs]" "Mr. Mayor!" "Do you have anything to say?" "People of Aron city..." "Don't be alarmed." "The situation will soon be under control." "[gasp]" "What?" "They're clean." "WOMAN:" "Only one piece of yarn is left in all of Aron city, the baby blanket of one Johnny Bravo." "That's right." "Hyah!" "And nobody gets to hold my blanky except me." "And you, sweetcakes." "Ew..." "Citizens of Aron city!" "Me and a few of the girls have formed an angry mob to catch this yarn thief!" "Aw, mama, you formed a what?" "Take whatever booty you find, but the beast is mine!" "[angry shouts]" "Bye-bye, Johnny." "Ok..." "Back to me." "Do you have anything you want to say to this yarn bandit?" "Uh..." "No." "But how'd you like to hang out and watch my blanky with me?" "I'd rather be hit by a meteorite." "Whoa!" "As soon as I get my claws on Johnny Bravo's blanky, Pookie, I, Dr. Felinius, will finally have enough yarn to rule the world!" "How are you going to do that with yarn, boss?" "I..." "Uh..." "Silence!" "Get me my milk." "Thank you, Pookie." "[slurps]" "WOMAN:" "And in today's news" "No." "MAN:" "And in today's news" "No." "ANOTHER MAN:" "And now a scene from next week's Babewatch ." "Bull's-eye, baby!" "MAN:" "Jasmine, I think I'm pregnant." "WOMAN:" "Oh, David, you can't be pregnant." "You're a man." "MAN:" "Oh." "Hey" "Want to watch my chest hairs move in slow motion?" "WOMAN:" "Ok." "Hyah!" "Uh!" "electronic voice:" "Blanky secure, Johnny." "Oh, yeah!" "Pookie, you distract Bravo, and I shall seize his precious blanky." "You got it, boss." "[squeaking]" "Hee hee hee!" "Hey, you-- distractingly cute kid." "Why don't you go bother the kid next door?" "She's got a thing for you types." "[alarm]" "Hee hee hee!" "See you later, skater!" "Nooooo!" "Somebody's cruising for a bruising." "Hey, I don't remember there being a big ball of yarn being on top of Mt." "Melmar." "Huh!" "My blanky!" "Ha ha ha ha ha!" "Finally, Pookie, I have it!" "The last shred of yarn in all the city!" "Ha ha ha ha ha!" "Hyah!" "Mister, we can do this two ways." "The hard way--hyah!" "Or the--the other way that's--that's harder and... just get out of my way, 'cause I'm going to hurt you, man." "Haw!" "Haw!" "Haw!" "Hyah!" "Aw, man, I hate furballs." "Hyah!" "Ha!" "Hyah!" "Hyah!" "Whoa!" "Oh!" "Well, poop!" "DR. FELlNlUS:" "Excellent!" "With you out of the way, I will unravel this blanket and place it in my yarn ball." "It will then have enough mass to roll down and crush the city!" "Uh-huh. I follow you." "But, mister, I beg of you, do what you want to the city, but leave my blanky out of this, ok?" "I've had that blanky ever since I was a little heartbreaker." "Hyah!" "Hee!" "Ha!" "Ho!" "I played with my blocks on it." "I got my first kiss on it." "[slurp]" "Oh!" "But mostly, my mama made it for me." "A touching story." "But I don't care!" "Ha ha ha!" "Hey, boss, give the kid his blanky back." "Silence!" "Do as I say or" "Meow!" "Hiss!" "My blanky!" "Hyah!" "Ha!" "Hey!" "Hey, what's going on?" "Whoa!" "When I get my hands on that traitorous kitten, I'll" "Whoa!" "Oh." "Ow." "Ooh." "What was I thinking?" "I was wrong to steal all that yarn." "l-l've changed." "There he is!" "Hello, people of Aron city." "The crisis is over thanks to this young man." "Johnny Bravo." "MAMA:" "Hey!" "What about us?" "Oh, oh, right." "And thank you to our local angry mob." "Yay!" "Why aren't you back in a suit, your honor?" "Well, the better to-- [whispering]" "All right... because these are the boxers that will build a bridge to the 21st century." "[gasps]" "[applause on TV]" "Huh!" "[gunfire]" "l--l have to tell you something." "I'm a dog!" "Don't be silly, Jeanette." "You're beautiful." "No. I mean..." "Ew!" "Man, I hate when that happens." "Ha!" "ANNOUNCER:" "And now, here's the host of our show, cover girl supermodel Vendela!" "Whoa, mama!" "Oh, man." "I love it when supermodels get their own talk shows." "What I wouldn't give to meet one of them." "ANNOUNCER:" "And if you'd like tickets for Vendela, simply call 213-555-0190." "JOHNNY:" "TV... [kiss]" "You've never let me down." "How many times do I have to tell you, I have a boyfriend!" "Well, you look like the kind of girl that could use two." "Huh!" "Oh... [audience murmurs]" "Hello, everybody!" "audience:" "Yay!" "We had a problem with our male guest today." "Can I find a-- volunteer?" "Man, you smell pretty." "Augh!" "is that a yes?" "Hello!" "Welcome to Vendela!" "audience:" "Yay!" "Today's episode:" "Muscle-bound men and the women who think they're poop-heads." "MEN in audience:" "Boo!" "Our guests include self-proclaimed macho man" "Johnny Bravo!" "Boo!" "Boo!" "And Jane Smoo, author of Big Muscles, Small Mind." "audience:" "Yay!" "Nice to be here." "So, Jane, what's the deal?" "Well, Vendela, the problem with men like Johnny is they are completely narcissistic!" "Hey, wait a minute." "Did she call me a sissy?" "Men like Johnny are afraid of strong women!" "Hey, hey, hey, I ain't scared of no big ol' buff women." "Oh, yeah?" "Oh, yeah?" "Grrrr!" "Raaar!" "Does this scare you?" "Hey, lady or no lady, I can't let you bust up babycakes' talk show set, all right?" "Thanks, babycakes." "No, thank 10 years of rodeo training in Salinas, California." "And don't call me babycakes." "Whoa!" "[pinball bells ring]" "Ouch." "And you, Jane-- put down those audience members." "Sure, Vendela." "Ugh!" "Ooh!" "And we'll be right back." "director:" "30 seconds." "So, Vendela... you want to see my superpowers?" "Hyah!" "No." "But maybe you'd like to see my superpowers." "Huh!" "You there--fight!" "Huh!" "Ha!" "Ha!" "Huh!" "Ha!" "Ha!" "[bells tinkle]" "They don't call us supermodels for nothing." "You got to love it." "director:" "And 3, 2, 1 ..." "We're back." "We're here with Johnny Bravo." "He's healthy." "Ooh..." "He's agile." "You got that right." "Check this out." "Huh!" "Hyah!" "Hyah!" "Ooh!" "Ow!" "Ooh!" "audience:" "Ahh..." "But is he a dinosaur?" "audience:" "Huh?" "No, actually I'm a dinosaur." "Ah." "But let's compare the two, shall we?" "They're both pretty much pure muscle." "All that and a bag of chips, baby." "They both have brains the size of an electron." "Electron?" "That's how America picks her presidents." "Oh." "And they're both extinct." "Stop calling T-Rex extinct!" "You know how impossible it is for T-Rex to get a driver's license when people think T-Rexes don't exist?" "Now, hold on there, fruit cup." "How can you be so cruel to stupid animals?" "Hey, who you calling stupid?" "At least T-Rex knows what an electron is." "MAN in audience:" "Hey!" "What's on your mind, sir?" "Johnny shouldn't be allowed to talk to the dinosaur like that." "How could you allow him to call you a fruit cup?" "We shouldn't let him get away with that." "Get Johnny Bravo!" "[audience shouting]" "Now we're going to see who's extinct." "See you in a museum, you fossil." "Huh!" "Hyah!" "Huh!" "Tomorrow on Vendela..." "Huh!" "Ha!" "TV violence." "Ho!" "Where do they get off?" "Ha!" "Ooh!" "Oh, mama." "That's a good question." "director:" "And cut!" "[beeping]" "Hello." "Welcome to Vendela!" "audience:" "Yay!" "Before we start, I'd like to give a special hello to Johnny Bravo, who is recuperating at the hospital." "audience:" "Aw..." "She wants me." "And as soon as you're healed, we would love to have you back." "How about you heal me with your love, pretty mama?" "And we'll be right back with today's topic:" "Does love hurt?" "audience:" "Yay!" "JOHNNY:" "Ooh... ls that a yes?" "Oh, mama!" "Mr. Vulture, how many licks does it take to get to the sugary center of a sugar sucker?" "Good question." "Go ask Johnny Bravo." "Mr. Bravo, how many licks" "Hey!" "Free lollipops!" "[crunch]" "Thanks, kid." "Lots of extra room in those pants, ma'am." "Yo, I want to be stylin' for the Round Pound concert tonight." "Round Pound?" "You do know who the Round Pound is." "Do I know who the Round Pound is?" "Ha!" "We're like this." "But enough about them." "Let's get back to us." "[horn playing la cucaracha]" "Hey, check it out!" "It's the Round Pound's ride!" "Yo, if you're so tight with them, get them to pull over." "Hey, my groovy man." "Long time no see." "[slurp]" "Yo. I ain't got no change, G." "And why don't you get yourself a j-o-b?" "A job." "[shivering]" "Ha!" "Now you're chillin', yo." "[van screeches off]" "S-s-see?" "I told you we were friends." "Yo, I can't be with a man if he's not down." "Unless I see you at the concert, you can talk to my hand." "is that a date?" "Yo, C.D. Biggenz, I'm famished." "[stomach growls]" "You and your big self." "You're always hungry." "Why don't you just chill?" "I'm serious, C.D., come on." "If I don't get a sandwich or something, I'm going to eat the first thing I get my hands on." "Yo, you're not thinking..." "Mmm..." "Yo, yo--wait a minute!" "[crunch]" "[burp]" "Could have used hot sauce." "Yo, what's up with you, man?" "How am I supposed to spin my sounds tonight?" "Oops." "Don't worry, man." "I'm sure there's a sound store around here someplace." "[gasping]" "Yo. I can't go no further." "I'm all out, man." "I'm out." "C.D.:" "Yo, we'll never make it to a store." "We're going to have to cancel the show." "Say, aren't you the Round Pound?" "Yeah." "What's up?" "Wha-wha?" "I was just wondering if y'all had any extra tickets to tonight's show." "Man, you find us a turntable, and we'll put you in the show." "In the show?" "I can't be with a man if he's not down." "Can you teach me how to be..." "Down?" "Whatever that means." "You go get the turntables, G., and we'll put you in the Round Pound school of hip-hop." "Aw, that's so cool!" "Hyah!" "Huh!" "Man, that was quick." "Yeah, I know." "Check it out, guys." "Now that's dope." "So I can be in the show?" "What did you say your name was?" "Johnny." "Huh!" "Johnny Bravo." "Johnny B. My man." "You got it made in the shade." "C.D.:" "Yo, yo, check this out, J.B." "If you want to be hip-hop, you've got to have two things:" "attitude and style." "Yeah." "But if you want to look stupid fresh, you got to get with the right sneaks and cap." "Mister, I don't think you want to make me look stupid." "Naw, naw--in hip-hop stupid means really something that's stupid fly." "It's really cool, man." "Know what I'm saying?" "Oh." "Stupid." "Like these kicks." "Kicks?" "Yeah, man." "You know" "Full-leather, self-lacing, velcro-tying pumps." "Oh, so I just pump them up like this." "[air inflating]" "Uh-oh." "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "Was that stupid or stupid?" "Oh, yeah." "If you're gonna be down, you got to wear a cap." "Cap?" "Yeah." "You got to find a hat." "That's phat, kid." "It's fat?" "Yeah, man, phat." "Like in cool." "Uh, am I down yet?" "No." "But you're stupid and phat." "Duh, me, too!" "[cheers]" "ANNOUNCER:" "Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the Round Pound!" "[hip-hop music plays]" "Yeah, give it up, give it up, represent." "Do you know what time it is?" "Yeah, ya'll" "Time to throw your hands in the air" "Shake them like you just don't care I'm C.D. Biggenz in the house I'm ready to jam and turn it out" "Yeah, know what I'm saying?" "Represent." "I'm Heavy C., that's who I be" "Everybo-bo-bo-body wants a piece of me" "The name's Main Flavor, that's who I am" "All the girlies like me, but I like ham" "You go boy, you go boy." "So y'all get ready with the funky sound" "'Cause it's time to get busy with the Round Pound l knew that blonde-haired poser was perpetrating a fraud." "And now, the latest add-on to our crew," "Johnny Bravo." "[cheers]" "Now everybody go, "hyah!"" " Huh?" " No, hyah!" "Hyah!" "Go, "whoa, mama!"" "Whoa, mama!" "Now everybody in the house scream!" "Aah!" "Johnny!" "I love it when chicks scream for me." "So, was I funky fresh?" "You were da bomb." "Was I full in effect?" "You were in the house." "Was I all that?" "Oh, plus a bag of chips." "Huh!" "Ha!" "So what do you say you and me go grab some chow?" "Aw, sorry, homes." "No can do." "Me and Myron have plans at the Estate." "Myron?" "Sure, Myron Jones." "He owns the place." "And he's down." "Ready to go, buttercup?" "You betcha, schnooky." "See?" "I told you he was down." "Mommy is so much looking forward to meeting you." "Word." "Aw, man--that's whack!" "1 , 2, 3, hyah!" "Baby." "Sassy!" "Studly!" "Ooh!" "Check the pecs." "Hyeh!" "Hyah!" "Hyuh!" "Oh, man, I'm pretty." "Do the monkey with me." "Come on!" "Hey there, baby." "Ah!" "Yeah, whatever." "Oh, yeah..." "Special!" "Hey, Babearella." "That's a pretty eensy-weensy, teeny-weeny polka-dot thingy you got going there." "Want to do the monkey with me?" "Come on." "Hyuh!" "The monkey?" "Hey, everybody, do the monkey!" "[cheering]" "Hi there." "Want to go swimming?" "No way, daddy-o." "You're a shark." "You'll eat me." "Darn it!" "They're on to me." "I better work a different angle." "Ooh!" "Ow." "What?" "Everybody's doing it." "SHARK:" "Hi there." "Want to go swimming?" "I'm not a shark." "There's a beach full of bikini teeny-weeny babes, and you want me to go swimming with you?" "Come on." "It'll be fun." "I've only got two words for you, mister: no." "[sigh]" "Now, where was I?" "Oh, yeah." "Come and get it, ladies." "I'm yours for the taking'." "Franny, a woman's place is in the kitchen." "Oh!" "Andy, you're such a goo-goo head!" "You're not my boyfriend anymore." "Well, that suits me just fine!" "Oh, you'll be sorry, mister." "Just wait until I take some other guy to the Wienie Roast." "Oh, yeah?" "What guy?" "Hyah!" "Dreamy hunk right here." " Hi." " Hi." "Want to go to the Wienie Roast with me tonight?" "Oh, yeah." "I think you're marvy." "Well, actually, I'm Johnny." "Hyah!" "Johnny Bravo." "Hey, pal, are you cutting in on my time?" "Come again?" "Raiding my chick coop, daddy-o." "What?" "Don't worry about him, Johnny." "He's just a nobody." "Now, come on and buy me a chocolate malted." "A chocolate what-ed?" "I'm telling you, Melon Head, if I don't win back Franny, I'm going to go completely goo-goo." "Gee, Andy, that's too bad." "I guess you won't have the heart to win the king of the beach contest." "Melon Head, you're a genius!" "I am?" "Sure. lf I win the king of the beach contest," "Franny will come running back to me." "But enough about me." "Let's talk about me." "What do you think of me?" "[yawns]" "Oh, Johnny..." "You are so swell." "Tell me about it." "No. I mean, really." "Tell me more about it." "Ohh!" "Franny's mine, you loosey-goosey!" "Loosey-goosey?" "I challenge you to the king of the beach competition." "Did you say loosey-goosey?" "Unless, of course, you're chicken." "Bawk!" "Bawk!" "Bawk!" "That does it, kid!" "You have just earned yourself a serious butt-kickin'." "[all gasp]" "Be careful, Mr. Bravo." "Andy's wiry, but he's small." "[applause and cheering]" "What am I supposed to do with this?" "You're supposed to jazz the glass." "Uh-uh, man." "That sounds nasty." "No, no." "What kind of square are you?" "Smooth the curl." "No way, kid." "I ain't smoothing no curl." "This hair is my crowning glory." "Hyah!" "No, no." "Trip the wave fantastic." "Come again?" "Surf, daddy-o, surf!" "Ohh." "Good morning, everybody." "I'm going to be the surfing judge." "Why?" "We don't need no surfing judge." "Now, I'll just swim out a little ways, and the first surfer that gets to me wins." "Say, you're not a shark, are you?" "Nah." "Heck, no." "I'm, uh..." "Richard Nixon." "Oh, ok." "Cool." "Thanks for getting us into China and everything." "Surf's up, man!" "Oh, boy." "Groovy!" "Dig it!" "Check me out!" "It's a tie." "Hey..." "That shark just ate those guys." "Hey, everybody, do the shark attack." "[cheering] I got to warn you." "I'm the big kahuna around here." "The big ka-what-a?" "Never mind." "Just catch that wave." "Oh, man, this is not good for my hair!" "[coughing]" "Oh, yeah." "One little spray will hold you all day." "Ohh!" "Whoa!" "I now crown you king of the beach." "My hero!" "You know, I may have this thing on my head, but at least I got the girl." "Ow." "My eye." "Listen, Franny, you're a swell kid." "You don't need any of this phony jazz." "Maybe you'd understand it a little better if I sang it to you." "When a guy digs a way-out chick" "But she's been putting him down" "Only one thing will set him straight" "And keep him hanging around" "That thing is love, love, love" "That thing is love" "Oh, Andy, you're so hootie." "I just love it when you sing." "Let's kiss and make up." "When a chick digs a way-out guy" "And he digs that way-out chick lf they want to be together forever" "Only one thing will do the trick" "That thing is love, love, love" "That thing is love" "JOHNNY:" "Ah, man." "This is the last time I come to the beach." "Hi there." "My name's Martha Washington." "Want to go for a swim?" "[people whispering]" "Order!" "Order in the court!" "Mr. Bravo, your apparent lack of good judgment yesterday is by all accounts inexcusable!" "What on Earth possessed you to do the things you did?" "Well, your honor, it all started yesterday morning." "We had a power outage." "Don't know exactly how it happened." "Well, Mark, looks like the new scissor-tipped fighter jet is going to be A-Ok." "[rooster crows]" "Anyway, when I noticed the VCR blinking 12:00 over and over, I thought what any warm-blooded American would have thought, given the same situation." "Looks like time's frozen for everybody but me." "Hyah!" "JOHNNY, VOlCE-OVER:" "The faucets weren't running, which made sense because the water was probably stopped in time inside the pipes." "[dog barking]" "Well, shoot, here's your problem, Mrs. Bravo" "German shepherd in the plumbing." "Well, that's a relief." "Last time it was a man." "Hmm..." "I bet if I held perfectly still, I could balance this egg on my nose." "JOHNNY, VOlCE-OVER:" "Yeah." "It was the people, too." "Everybody was dead-frozen in time." "[horns honking]" "Boy, all this honking isn't doing anybody any good." "Yeah. lt's definitely not moving the traffic." "We should all just shut up." "Maybe even get some sleep." "Now you're talking." "[people snoring]" "Oh, mama!" "I felt like I was in the twilight zone or something, and I figured I'd better check this out." "Oh, man, this stuff's like quicksand." "The more you try to get out, the deeper you sink in." "I'd best just hold still." "JOHNNY, VOlCE-OVER:" "It was actually kind of fun to see what everybody was doing at the moment time froze." "And then I started to think about the possibilities of my situation." "No time meant no rules." "Nobody was going to bust me for doing anything I wasn't supposed to do." "Oh, yeah!" "This could be entirely groovy." "Steady, Billy, steady." "Aw, Billy, look what you did." "Oh, sorry, dad." "Look, run downstairs and get the blow-dryer." "Otherwise I'm going to have to stand here all day with this." "Ah, mama!" "Free candy!" "Ooh!" "Peanut butter, bananas." "Ooh!" "Oh, mama!" "[loud stomping]" "[groaning]" "Oh!" "[stomping]" "Ron, look!" "It's a manatee." "RON:" "You mean the sea cow?" "WOMAN:" "Yes!" "They're so frightening." "Now, don't move a muscle." "Their eyesight isn't as good as ours." "Oh, Ron, I was so scared!" "There, there." "He's gone, honey, far away." "JOHNNY, VOlCE-OVER:" "All that candy was giving me an appetite for some real food, so I figured this was my one good chance to dine at the ritziest in town." "Yeah. I'd be eating fancy tonight." "Hey, guys, what say we play charades while we let the duck meat thaw?" "All right." "Pick one." "Hmm..." "A rock?" "Ok, here goes." "Hmm..." "Looks difficult." "We're going to need a moment of silence to figure this one out." "JOHNNY, VOlCE-OVER:" "Well, there was plenty to choose from." "Man, did they have some fine-looking desserts!" "Yummy!" "I decided to load up." "[people gasp]" "Power outage." "Think it'll happen again?" "Let's wait and see." "[burp] Check, please." "What?" "No charge?" "Why, thank you very much." "Ha ha!" "Guess it was a fluke." "Well, let's not let it spoil our dinner." "Well, I was about ready for some shuteye after such a big whopping meal, and, hey, why knock off my new high-class lifestyle now?" "I was going to spend the night at the Waldorf Hysteria." "Hyah!" "Ok, everybody, this is a holdup!" "[all gasp]" "Now, I'm going to go empty the safe." "If anybody moves a muscle before I get back, y'all are going to get it." "JOHNNY, VOlCE-OVER:" "Well, with time frozen still, it wasn't hard for me to get a room key." "Hey, what do you think, mister?" "This a nice room?" "Hey, lf you're a loser, don't say nothing." "I thought so." "Aw, mama!" "Now, this is the life!" "Hyah!" "Aw, figures." "TV's frozen, too." "[snoring]" "Ah...more peanut butter." "MAN:" "Well, we're back." "Let's see how the Duke boys are going to get out of this one." "[rooster crows]" "All right, fella, you're coming with us!" "Oh, mama!" "Time is back with a vengeance." "And that's the whole story, your majesty." "Your honor." "Oh, you don't have to call me that." "You see, I thought time had already stopped." "I guess I screwed up, huh?" "Ha ha ha!" "What a delightful little tale." "Mr. Bravo, I sympathize wholeheartedly." "And to think this was all started by a blinking VCR." "My word, if I had a nickel for all the trouble I've had with those things-- why, one time, I thought I was stuck in July 23 for 6 weeks!" "Ha ha ha!" "Case dismissed!" "[people cheer]" "Oh, Johnny, I knew you were innocent." "Me, too, Johnny." "How about we all go out for a fudge sundae?" "Why not?" "We've got all the time in the world." "Hyah!" "Hi." "I'm Johnny Bravo, and" "Hey!" "What the-- now hold on a" "Blll!" "Blah!" "Hee-haw!" "Mama!" "Sorry about that, folks." "Hey, look, I'm counting!" "TV:" "Look, I don't want to alarm the passengers, but there's a bomb on this bus, and if you go over 55 miles an hour, we're all dead." "Actually, that's all right." "55 is the speed limit." "Oh, well, I guess we're ok then." "[explosion, screaming, and sirens]" "Man, I dig these action flicks." "[doorbell rings]" "Hyah!" "That must be my pizza." "Hey, where's the mushrooms?" "Hello, sir." "Would you care to donate a toy to the kids with empty rooms foundation?" "Ha ha ha!" "No, seriously, where's the mushrooms?" "Huh?" "Never mind." "[doorbell rings]" "Buttercups!" "I'm going to have to go get the spray." "Look, I thought I said" "W-w-w-wah..." "You weren't very nice to my sister." "That little girl is your sister?" "All we want is a toy donation." "Ah, boy, I don't know if I got any toys." "Oh, well, sorry to bother you then." "Let's go, Caroline." "No." "Wait." "If you give me 20 minutes, I'll run down to Eternitoys and get you something really happenin'." "10 minutes." "We've got the rest of the block to cover." "Right. 10 minutes." "Don't go nowhere." "Hyuh!" "I'll be right here." "Ooh!" "Can I help you, sir?" "Yeah. I need to find some toys fast." "How much you looking to spend?" "Um..." "What guy is that again?" "George Washington." "George Washington..." "Yeah, I got one George Washington." "Hmm." "A dollar." "Well, there's our discount section, aisle 6 for defective or otherwise damaged toys." "You might be able to find something there." "Thanks, Chachi." "Aw, mama." "Decisions, decisions-- and I got to make one fast." "Let's see now." "What's this thing?" "Hi. I'm a Keith doll." "Holy guacamole." "You talked!" "Sure did." "Guess what." "I'm defective, but that's ok." "I'm still happy with who I am." "Well, what's wrong with you?" "I'm wearing white pants." " So?" " lt's after Labor Day." "That's a fashion no-no." "Needless to say, Barbie won't go out with me." "What a snot, huh?" "What a snot!" "Ok, what else we got here?" "That's general issue Jeremy." "He's got one arm and one leg." "Left." "Left." "Left." "Left." "I also got kung-fu grip." "Hyah!" "Ohh..." "Hey, watch it, Beetle Bailey." "You there, pick me!" "What?" "There's tons of fun to be had with the Cubix Bomb." "Cubix Bomb?" "What's that all about?" "Quite simple, you blunt-edged plebeian." "Get all the colors right and I explode, or perhaps I don't." "Perhaps I release a corrosive venom, but maybe not." "Maybe I issue forth a flesh-eating virus." "is that what's wrong with you?" "No... the yellow's on the wrong side." "Oh." "Well, ok, now, I only got a buck here, so who is it going to be?" "Lucky day." "There just happens to be a 3-for-a-dollar special on all discount toys." "Ah, so much the better." "Ok." "Hop in, everyone." "You, too, Gomer." "No can do, sir." "What's the problem?" "I always said I wouldn't leave this place without getting my limbs back." "All right, well, who took them?" "Raggy Angelo, aisle 6... the toughest villain this side of the board games." "Now, if I help you against this Angelo guy, can we all hurry up and blow this dollhouse?" "You got it." "All right, then." "Aisle 6--hyah!" "Here we come." "[evil laugh] [giggling]" "Aw, mama!" "I swear that clown was looking mean at me." "There, at 12 o'clock." "keith:" "Raggy Angelo!" "Should I just run him over?" "Blast you!" "Think like a serviceman." "We've got to take him head-on." "Really, I'm, like, 8 times his size." "I could just, you know" "Quiet, soldier!" "You and I are going over there." "All right." "Cover me, Keith." "You got it!" "I'm not really going to cover him." "I just said I would." "And I'll inject you all with pure nitro--oh!" "Ah ha ha ha!" "So we meet again, Jeremy." "That's right, Angelo." "I see you're still missing that arm and leg that I tore off you." "I haven't forgotten, and I'm ready to return the favor." "Now look, Mr. Angelo, I'm in a hurry here, and if I lose me a date because of this, I'll turn you into a potholder." "And just who are you?" "I'm Johnny Bravo." "Well, when I get done with you, you'll be Johnny nothing!" "Wow." "That wasn't even clever." "Enough of this!" "Toys, attack!" "Oh, mama!" "[toys shouting]" "Ah ha ha ha!" "Adios, fools." "Not so fast, Angelo." "Go, team!" "Uh!" "Heads up, Angelo." "You're next!" "Hyahhh..." "Ohh!" "What a spaz." "JEREMY:" "Hyah!" "Aah!" "There." "Nooo!" "Curse you, Jeremy!" "Now we're even, Angelo." "If you want a new arm, you're going to have to get it from a share bear." "Ha ha!" "You'll pay for this!" "Ok, we all set here?" "Everybody happy?" "Can we go now?" "Mount up and move out!" "Ha!" "That's cowboy talk, Johnny." "It means yes, we can go now." "Man, remind me never to buy a discount toy again." "[panting]" "Hmph!" "His 10 minutes are up." "Let's go, Caroline." "Ok." "I'm back, and I got you 3 nice little toys for the kids with empty rooms foundation." "Uh!" "That's pathetic." "Where'd you get these, anyway, the discount aisle?" "Come on, Caroline." "Maybe we can find someone on the next block who isn't such a jerk." "Well!" "Shoot!" "Now what?" "Well, you paid for us, Johnny, so it looks like we're roomies." "Ah, great." "[slurp]" "Johnny, this cereal is fantastic, possibly the best cereal ever." "Oh, blast it." "You'd think with all my training, I could figure out" "Aha!" "[beeping]" "Ow!" "You have 6 seconds of consciousness left." "Use them wisely." "Ahh..."