"[ Speaking French ]" "[ Elevator Door Closing ]" "[ Man Screaming ]" "[ Elevator Door Opening, Closing ]" "[ Speaking French ]" "[ Cell Phone Rings ]" "Hello?" "The matter has been dealt with." "Forty-seven." "[ Splash ]" "Half now, half later." "Why do they always have to do that?" "[ Woman's Voice Speaking French ]" "[ Man's Voice Speaking French ]" "[ Woman's Voice Speaking French ]" "My name is Victor Maynard." "I am 54 years old, and I work as a professional killer." "I love you!" "Shut up." "[ Subdued Squawk ]" "Who the hell are you?" "[ Speaking French ]" "[ Body Thuds ]" "[ Parrot ] Victor Maynard." "[ Squawks ]" "[ Subdued Squawk ]" "I love you!" "Hello." "Where are we going?" "[ Wolf Whistle ]" "That wasn't me." "I love you, Victor Maynard." "Victor Maynard, I love you." "Oh, the fucker." "Victor Maynard!" "You know, I read somewhere that men who live too long with their mothers... tend toward the homosexual." "Really?" "You and I lived together for a long time." "Yes, we did." "You don't tend, do you, Victor?" "I don't think so, Mother." "Then what's the problem?" "I actually can't stay much longer." "I got your card from Paris, with the clipping." "Forty yards in the street with a silencer." "Very dexterous." "Your father would've been proud." "Opening up the international side of things like that." "Well, I'll call in again soon." "Wait." "There's your birthday." "But that's not until" "Oh, you-- you shouldn't have." "They're all there." "Right from the first:" ""Death of an Accordionist."" "Plenty of blank pages at the end too." "Quite a career." "Quite a legacy." "You're going to be 55, Victor." "I know." "The age your father was when you were born." "Indeed." "I've taken up knitting." "Blue for a boy." "We can hope at least." "Good-bye, Mother." "Someone has to carry on the family business." "These skills mustn't be lost." "I brought you a present too." "[ Squawks ]" "His name's Roger." "Roger the parrot." "[ Wolf Whistle ]" "Ah, merci." "Mmm!" "Mmm." "Mmm." "[ Speaking French ]" "[ Woman ] ♪♪ Come in ♪♪" "♪♪ Come in ♪♪" "[ Horn Honks ] [ Man ] Wrong side of the road!" "Wrong way!" "Idiot!" "♪♪ Come into my world ♪♪" "♪♪ I've got to show show, show you ♪♪" "♪♪ Come into my bed ♪♪ [ Brakes Screeching ]" " [ Vehicles Crashing ] -♪♪ I've got to know know, know you ♪♪" "♪♪ I have dreams of orca whales and owls ♪♪" "♪♪ But I wake up in fear ♪♪" "♪♪ You will never be my You will never be my fool ♪♪" "♪♪ Will never be my fool ♪♪" "♪♪ Floaters in my eyes ♪♪" "♪♪ Wake up in a hotel room ♪♪" "♪♪ Cigarettes and lies ♪♪" "♪♪ I am a child ♪♪" "♪♪ It's too soon ♪♪" "♪♪ I have dreams of orca whales and owls ♪♪" "♪♪ But I wake up in fear ♪♪" "♪♪ You will never be my ♪♪" "♪♪ You will never be my fool ♪♪" "♪♪ Will never be my fool ♪♪" "♪♪ A little bag of mmm-mmm ♪♪" "♪♪ A little bag of mmm-mmm ♪♪" "♪♪ So who's the girl wearing my dress ♪♪ - [ Bell Dings ]" "♪♪ I figured out her number ♪♪" "♪♪ Inside a paper napkin ♪♪" "♪♪ But I don't know her address I wait downstairs ♪♪" "♪♪ The porter smiles to me a smile ♪♪♪♪" "Hey!" "Oh. [ Sighs ] Rose." "Have you got it?" "I'm worried." "I don't want to do this." "We agreed." "Yes, I know, but" "But?" "Rose, I need you to absolutely swear to me... that nothing bad will happen to the painting." "Gerry, I swear." "You know that by doing this, you're making me very happy." "Yeah." "And if that's not enough, then just think of the money." "[ Moans ]" "Are you thinking, Gerry?" "Hmm?" "[ Exhales ]" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Right." "Oh, my God." "It's really, really beautiful." "Where's the copy?" "That is the copy." "Here's the original." "Still wet." "Don't get them mixed up." "At home, the Minister for Culture, Media and Sport... described as "deeply disappointing"... the sale to a private Russian buyer yesterday... of a Rembrandt self-portrait that had been on loan to the National Gallery since 1956." "She said the painting was an irreplaceable treasure, but the Gallery had simply not been able to match the overseas bid." "We agreed on 900." "900,000 or I keep it." "All right, fine." "You asked for it." "I'm keeping it." "Hey, calm down." "Calm down." "I was joking." "I was joking." "Ooh." "Perfect, Mr. Ferguson." "Without any question." "Without a shadow of a doubt." "What did I tell you?" "It's breathtaking." "I can't imagine how you came to have it." "Well, you'll have to, because I'm not gonna tell you." "We may not know how, but we certainly know why." "Barney, the cash." "££800,000." "We agreed nine." "We said eight." "We said nine." "Eight." "Nine." "Eight." "All right, nine." "900,000 or I'm keeping it." "What?" "All right, I'll keep it." "Hey." "I just said yes to nine." "Put it back." "One million." " You're out of your mind." " All right, I'll keep it." "Stop!" "My dear, I'm not a gangster, but I was in real estate for 20 years." "I stop at nothing." "[ Hammers Cock ]" "Calm down." "I was joking." " Have that much cash with us?" " Yes, guv." "So now this jewel, this ultimate record of one man's fearless conversation... with his most profound self, stays with me." "And Mr. Zhirkova goes home with a very good fake, which he'll enjoy just as much, because actually he can't tell the difference." "But I can." "I've got a nose for this kind of thing." " You've got a" " Huh?" "on your" "What's he talking about?" "It's a fake." " It can't be." " It's a fake!" "Oh, yes." "Look at the yellow here and you'll" "She switched it." "You don't say." "Trois, deux, un." "[ Rings ]" "[ Rings ]" "[ Rings ]" "[ Woman ] You have a new client." "Look, there's not a mark on it." "Do you know how much trouble I could get into?" "Yep, about this much." "Rose." "What?" "Don't push your luck too far." "What could happen to me?" "[ Vendors Shouting ]" "[ Shouting Continues ]" "[ Woman ] ♪♪ He got me with a hook ♪♪" "♪♪ Those big bass notes ♪♪" "♪♪ Thunder in my chest ♪♪" "♪♪ Mmm, stuck in my throat ♪♪" "♪♪ Pulling me down ♪♪" "♪ ♪♪ Like a rumble in the ground ♪" "♪♪ Crawls up from the depths ♪♪" "♪♪ With a deep-down sound ♪♪" "♪♪ Watch that man ♪♪" "♪♪ See what's in his hands ♪♪" "♪♪ Got no joy ♪♪" "♪♪ He's a big bad boy ♪♪♪♪" " [ Gasping ] - [ Body Thuds ]" "♪♪ Big bomb body Long, lean neck ♪♪" "♪♪ Swear it was a woman ♪♪" "♪♪ That he had in his grip ♪♪" "♪♪ Big vibrations, yeah ♪♪" "♪♪ Just one glance ♪♪" "♪♪ He's gonna blow my mind ♪♪" "♪♪ He's gonna make me wanna Make me wanna, oh ♪♪" "♪♪ Johnny got a boom-boom ♪♪" "♪♪ Johnny got a bam He's got a-- ♪♪" "She's completely out of control." "Hi." "Hi." "Hi, sweetheart." "Just gonna change, all right?" "Okay." "[ Men Laughing, Chattering ]" "[ Chattering Continues ]" "It's just so hopeless." "See anything you like?" "Sorry?" "Oh, um-- A drink?" "Y-Y-Yeah." "Uh, well." " [ Rose ] Bye, sweetheart." " Bye." " Oh." "♪♪ Johnny got a boom-boom ♪♪" "♪♪ Johnny got a bam ♪♪" "♪♪ He got-- ♪♪♪♪ At last." "[ Chattering ]" "Shit." "[ Man ] You all right?" "Mm-hmm." "Room 27." "I know." "I remembered." "You've got no messages." "That's the way I like it." "Solitary type, huh?" "Well, there's a buzzer by the side of the bed, if you, uh, change your mind." "What do you weigh?" "Yes." "No." "[ Rose Moaning ]" "[ Moaning Stops ]" "[ Moaning Resumes ]" "[ Rose Squeals, Laughs ]" "[ Moaning Continues ]" "Ooh!" "[ Laughs ]" "[ Moaning ]" "[ Moaning Continues ]" "[ Moaning Louder ]" "[ Snoring ]" "[ Siren Wailing ]" "Ooh." "You've committed the ultimate sin, Victor." "Mother-- Oh, don't "Mother" me!" "You must win back your employer's trust." "Your reputation depends on it." "Thefamilyreputation." "Yes, Mother." "They'll have hired a competitor by now." "Someone better or younger than you." "I suppose that's right." "So what do you think I should do?" "There's only one thing you can do." "Apologize to the client, tell him you'll do the hit for free, kill her and return the money." "[ Grunts ]" "[ Screaming ]" "Get in the car." "You killed him." " I had to." "He was going to kill you." " Oh, okay." "Get in the car." "Keys." "[ Rose ] Quickly!" "I can't believe they hired someone to kill me." "What am I doing?" "What am I doing?" "You tell me." "Start the car." "Freeze!" "Barney?" "Barney?" "Don't tell me." "Out." "Now." "Stop!" "Face the wall." "Both of you." "[ Gunshot ]" "[ Body Thuds ]" "[ Groaning ]" "[ Groaning ]" "My God!" "What have I done?" "Who are you?" "Who are you?" "You don't know each other?" "I was cleaning cars." "I picked up his gun." "I've never even touched a gun before." "You were gonna shoot him." "Him and" " Oh, my God, is she" " She's fine." "She fainted." "You've never fired a gun before?" "Well, just give it to me now." " Don't." " Why?" " He'll shoot you." " I will not." "You saved my life." "Why would I shoot you?" "Don't." "Just lay it down then, where he can't get it, before someone gets hurt." "Sorry." "I'm going to give it to him." "He's got a tie on." "Plus, I didn't shoot him, so he's not so pissed off with me." "I'm not pissed off with you." "Honestly." "Good boy." "Well done." "Well done." "[ Whimpers ] Told you." "You know, that was a pretty good shot for a novice." " You didn't kill him, but" " Didn't wanna kill him!" "Well, no." "No, of course not, I mean" "I mean, I'm really upset about it." "I'm shaking." "Well, that's very understandable." "Do you know what?" "When I did it, I was really calm about it." "It was like I had all the time in the world." "Aha." "Excuse me." "[ Groans ]" "God." "What happened?" "He's not dead." "I shot him." "I had to." "He was gonna" "The boy had no choice." "Now we need to get him out of sight." " Are you gonna kill him?" " No, of course not." "You killed the other one." "We're not gonna kill him." "We have to kill him." "What?" "He's seen us." "If we let him go, we're as good as dead." "Can't we just go the police?" "The police can't protect you from people like this." "We've no choice." "We'll do it quietly." "No, stop!" "You're right." "What was I thinking?" "Probably be a while before he comes round." "Long enough to get away." "Exactly." "Let's get going, then." "Hey, I'm gone." "And don't go home." "Be sure to go somewhere busy so you're not followed." " Who are you?" " Doesn't matter." "Are you undercover?" "What are you doing?" "I'm getting scared out there." "Where's the kid?" "He ran off." "Um, I don't know who you are, but can I trust you?" "Trust me?" "What happened here was not random." "His boss wants me dead." "I only hope it's quick when it happens, you know, like with him." "I mean" "I mean, I almost wish that it would just happen now, you know?" "So I wouldn't-- [ Sobbing ]" "So I wouldn't have to keep wondering when." "[ Sobbing ]" "Oh, God." "I need to pee." "Right." " Right." " I think it's just nerves." "Do you have a tissue?" "[ Sobs ]" "[ Sobs ]" "Ooh, silk." "Nice." "[ Sobbing ]" "Here you go." "Um" "Oh, God, they can't kill me for less than a million." "I mean, it's nothing to them, you know, and I didn't hurt anyone." "I mean, why do people have to be so gullible?" "Hey, wait!" "Where are you going?" "I" " I need protection." "You know how to shoot." "I can" " I can pay you." "I can give you a down payment right now." "And there's loads more in my bag." "Please?" "Please." "It's no good." "I can't help you." "But you can't abandon me like this." "I mean, you're-- you're too kind for that." "Please." "I'm begging you." "I'm sorry." "I'm in no position to protect you." "Believe me." "I feel safe with you." "You're wise and calm and steady." "You're" " You're like a mighty, ancient oak." "Half now, half later." "[ Tires Squealing ]" "Do you want me to drive?" "You seem a little-- I'm upset." "[ Tires Squealing ]" "These are in the way." " You stole his boots?" " He doesn't need them anymore, does he?" "[ Tires Screech ] [ Rose ] Shit!" "[ Horns Honking ]" "How come you have a gun?" " Oh, that's-- that's for work." " What work?" "I'm, uh, undercover." "A private detective." " You just don't look the type." " [ Horns Honking ]" "What were you doing in here?" "I was, um, watching a client's wife." "She had a tryst in a-- in a-- with a man in a car... on the fifth floor." "[ Chuckles ]" "A tryst." "I've given you a down payment." "How much per week?" " A week?" "I'm too expensive." " How much?" "30,000." " All right, 30 thou." " [ Horn Honks ]" " I'm gonna get out of here." " [ Tires Squealing ]" "I want round-the-clock protection." "I'm sorry, no." "[ Tires Squealing ]" " [ Horns Honking ] - [ Gunshot ]" "Get down!" "Quick!" "Back up!" "Run him over!" "You must be kidding!" " Stop!" " [ Screams ]" " Hang on." " He's fine." "What are you doing?" "Get in!" "Oh, get in!" "Get in!" "[ Grunts ] Oh, I can't see!" "I just saved your life!" "You almost killed me!" "So we're quits." "Oh, shit!" "Shit!" "Floor it!" "What?" "Now!" "Oh, my God!" "Where now?" "Third street on the right." "We'll get across town." "Well, then what?" "A discreet hotel." "We need to lie low." "♪♪♪♪ [ P.A.:" "Classical ]" "Discreet?" "How about ridiculously overpriced?" "They'll be checking the cheaper hotels." "No one will look for us here." "Three" "Three rooms, please." "Of course, sir." "What name?" "Smith." "Smith." "You have the same name?" " And your name, sir?" " Tony." "We'll just take the one room." "Excuse me." "What?" "Ow!" "You can't be serious." "Who's paying for this?" "You said you had plenty of money." "And I mean to keep it that way." "I'm sorry." "I really can't sleep in a room with someone else." "Well, I can't imagine you get many requests." "I'll pay for my own room." "It's not about the money, all right." "Round-the-clock protection, we said." "How are you gonna protect me from another room?" "No." "Wait." "No!" "One room." "One room's fine." "Why don't you settle this in 322?" "It's one of our cheapest." "Are you're sure this is a safe place?" "Of course I'm sure." "I leave nothing to chance." "Oh, Laetitia." "Good morning, boss." "Have you seen Mike?" "Sorry, Mr. Ferguson, no." "[ Sighs ] Where is he?" "Thank you, sir." "Mmm." "May I say-- Oh, here we go." "it would help if you could manage to behave with a little more decorum." " Hey, they have cable." " Three adults in one room." "A minuscule room in a luxury hotel?" "So what?" "So you got us noticed!" "[ Male Announcer On TV ] Already the home team's defense is looking rather nervous." "[ Announcer #2 ] Tempers-- Tempers getting a bit out of control in the early stages." "[ Announcer #1 ] The home side coming forward again." "With killers after you, you're discreet." "You hide." "You don't yell in hotel lobbies." " Oh, that's a beautiful move." " Putting together a few passes now." "That's it." "Oh, and he puts it wide!" "Oh, my goodness." "He'll be kicking himself." "Which side do you sleep on?" "What?" "Oh." "I don't." "I keep watch." "Tony, you sleep with her." "Whatever." "While we're here, please respect my living space." "This is my area." "Time's just going to fly by." "I can tell." "Now just you change your tune, young lady." "You were a lot less lippy in the car park, sobbing about ancient oaks." " I didn't beg you to come, remember." " I didn't beg." "Offering a man ££30,000 to spend a week with you is scarcely playing hard to get." "Incredible." "I have only known you for three hours, and already it would take me three days to list everything that I hate about you." "Oh, dear, oh, dear." "From six yards out, perhaps he should have done better than that." "[ TV, Indistinct ]" "You're sure you won't come?" "It's been a long day." "I just want some peace and quiet." "[ Door Opens ]" "I'll be in the bar." "Don't be long." "[ Giggles ]" "One thing though, Mr. Smith." "Yeah?" "Did I hear you say she's paying you?" "You did." "I haven't got any money." "Don't worry." "I'll look after you for free." "In fact, you can help me look after her." "Great." "You probably need all the help you can get." "So I'll be your assistant?" "Apprentice." "You know, Tony, you're a fine young man." "Um... that's all." "♪♪♪♪ [ Piano ] [ Chattering ]" "There you are." "I was wondering what the two of you were up to." "I'm sorry, before." "I was... unpleasant and-- and hostile even." "I'm not usually like that." "Well, don't worry." "I was aggressive and annoying and, um, quite often like that." "[ Laughs ]" "No." "You can be pleasant." "Really?" "Yeah." "When?" "I can't think of an example right now, but-- Great." "Thank you." "Now." "Now you're..." "being pleasant." "You're not listening." "I am." "What were you were saying?" "I was saying you were pleasant then for seven or eight seconds." "You're eyeing up the barman." "Yeah." "He fancies me." "Is that bothering you?" "As a matter of fact-- Why?" "Do you fancy me?" " What?" " It's a simple enough question." "Of course not." "Not at all." "Okay, that's what I thought." "Do you fancy him?" "Is that it?" "No, it is not." "I would simply like you to listen if we're having a conversation." "That's all." "I couldn't care less if you have it away with the barman, the bellboy and all the other customers if you want to." "It's none of my business." "You're unbelievable." "Hi." "Um, can I have a large Glenfiddich, and, um, a cognac, and Belvedere, and, um, a Becks, and two small red wines and some peanuts." "Not all for you?" "No, the Becks is for you." "And my father will pay." "[ Laughs ]" "What do you weigh?" "[ Sighs ]" "You know, Mike, you are the only genuine one in all this." "[ Chuckles ] [ Groans ]" "Genuine asshole." "It's not my fault." "Not your fault?" "You said not to hire another hit man." "You said you'd handle it with Barney." "And now I'm left with one bodyguard." "The incompetent fat one." "Stop shaking." "Oh, stop shaking." "Why are you shaking?" "You think I'm angry with you, hmm?" "Do you think I'm going to hit you?" "[ Chuckles ]" "Is that it?" "It's funny." "Truth is, tonight I feel more like tears than anger." "You understand we've lost her now." "The vixen will have gone to ground." "Our chances of finding her are next to nil." "No, tonight..." "I am sad." "You're sad too." "[ Crying, Whimpering ]" "I don't like to see sad people." "Go to the bathroom." "[ Footsteps Departing ]" "You just stay away from me." "You ruined my evening." "Really?" "I was making friends." "You were making a spectacle of yourself." "Do you have any friends, I wonder?" "No, I can't imagine that you do." "Sorry." "Sorry, wrong room." "No problem." "[ Chuckles ]" " Why are you always in the way?" "[ Male Announcer ] ...second shot at the par-four 18." "I fell asleep." "That's all right." "[ Rose ] Of course." "Everythinghedoes is all right, isn't it?" "Hey, you scuffed those boots." "Ignore her." "She's drunk." "Still, my reactions will be quicker now I've rested." "In case anything happens, I can stay up with you." " We can take it in turns." " Fantastic." "The Two Musketeers." "[ Tony ] Hey, what are you doing?" "Putting them out to be cleaned." "Someone will steal them." "God, you're not in the Y.M.C.A. now." "Ohh." "And don't you try anything." "[ Whirring ]" "♪♪♪♪ [ Piano:" "Classical ]" "Right." "Who's going to take the first... watch?" "♪♪♪♪ [ Continues, Muffled ]" "♪♪♪♪ [ Humming ]" "Boss?" "What?" "He's here." "Good." "Tell him to wait." "I shan't be long." "[ Victor ] Do you want anything?" "Just some coffee." "Can we just go?" "Would you please let me go first?" "All clear." "You don't say." "[ Ferguson ] So it's a quite extraordinary story." "The man I hired to do the job... kills one of my men-- [ Chuckles ] grotesquely maims another and is now protecting the girl." "Needless to say, we need to get rid of both of them." " Should've called me sooner." " We tried to handle it ourselves." "[ Chuckles ] So I see." "They killed Barney!" "Mike." "I can't look at you right now." "Go and buy me some cigarettes." "Would you feed our meter?" "Feed your own sodding meter!" "[ Coins Jingle ]" "And the name of this man who has caused you so much trouble?" "I don't know his name." "We never met." "Can you tell me anything about him at all?" "Mike saw him." "[ Man ] Describe him." "Taller than average." "Thinner than average." "Average looks." "Average mustache." "Victor Maynard." "You know him?" "You know where he is?" "No, no one knows him." "No one ever sees him, not even his clients." "He's old-school." "So how come you know what he looks like?" " Rumor." " Oh." "[ Chuckles ] In our line, we're-- How can I put this-- the two most expensive." "Actually, uh, he's a little bit more expensive than you are." "We'll find out if he's worth it, at last." "Ahh." "Help yourself." "Anything but the sausage." "Such largesse." "Why don't you just settle the bill?" "All right?" "'Cause if I don't get a minute without you, I will kill myself." "[ Water Splashes ]" "Hey, what the" "Ohh." "Wait." "Please." "I didn't mean to hurt you." "It was just good luck." "Freeze!" "Put your hands up!" "Oh, shit!" "Shit!" "You're shaking like a leaf." "Give me the gun." "I'm serious!" "You know I'm a terrible shot." "I could easily aim at your head and blow your balls off." " You tried to drown me." " Only a bit." "I'm an ordinary, kind, peaceful person." "Just calm down." "Take a deep breath." " I am calm!" " [ Screams ]" "That was an accident." "You frightened me." "Try and find your ear, put it on some ice, and hospital can stitch it back on." "[ Door Closes ]" "There's some ice in the minibar." "[ Door Closes ]" "Quick!" "Run!" "What?" "Shit!" "Shit!" "I didn't even get a bathrobe." "Ah, yes, Smith, Smith and..." "Tony." "He tried to kill me!" "In the bathroom with a big gun!" "[ Rose ] Wait!" "Wait!" "My ear!" "You sick bastard!" "Put it on ice!" "Move!" "What, you shot his ear off?" "It was an accident!" "Get the case!" " Make sure you get them." " You've got a professional on the case now." "Mike, what are you doing?" "The girl." "Th-Th-The mustache." "Huh?" "They were here all the time in the hotel." "The kid blew my ear off!" "Boss!" "The Mini!" "Oh, for Christ's sake." "Get the car." "Get the car!" "He just frightened me, so I-- [ Imitates Gunshot ]" "You did what you had to do." "Did I?" "Of course, yeah." "Because you're a natural." "[ Scoffs ]" "[ Tires Squealing ]" " They're following!" " Faster." "I can't go any faster." "Drive faster." "I'm doing my best." "I'm still trying to get the hang of the car." "It's a new car?" "Well, new to me." "I found it at a petrol station yesterday, keys and everything." "Talk about luck." " It's stolen?" " Yes!" "They're gaining on us!" " Right." "Here." " Wh-What are you doing?" "Change places." "I'll put my feet on the pedals and slide under you." "Oh, God!" "Ooh!" "Could you please move!" "I can't see a thing!" "Well, you certainly seem to be getting a pretty good feel of everything." "Oh!" "[ Horn Honks ]" "[ Screams ]" " [ Screams ]" " Oh, my God!" " There's a baby!" " Keep going." "We're bigger." "[ Screams ]" " Look out!" " [ Crash ]" "[ Hissing ]" "I think we've lost them." "Oh, you're not sure?" "Do you want the sitting duck seat?" "No, I'd rather you did!" "Stop bickering!" "[ Rose ] Where are we going?" "We need to get out of town." "No, I like town." "Me too, but I never tried anything else, so I'm pretty open." "Look, we're driving a bullet-strafed stolen car... that's just been involved in a high-speed chase." "We're being pursued by hired assassins, and by now, I imagine, every half-witted police officer in East London." "We're getting out of town!" "Did you bring a tent?" "I have a safe place." "We'll go there." "Is it as safe as the hotel?" " I'm ignoring that." " [ Mockingly ] I'm ignoring that." "Ow!" "Can we stop?" "No." " I need to pee." " We're not stopping." "I pay you 30,000 a week." "You do as I say." "The next service station." "I'm paid to protect you." "Mostly, it seems, from yourself." "££30,000?" "Yeah, exactly." "I should be able to pee sitting down at that price." "Oh!" "[ Horn Honking ]" "[ Sighs ]" "Mr. Smith, 30,000." "That's pretty good money." "Yes, it is." "I mean, I know it's dangerous, but I seem to be getting the hang of that side of things." "So, me being your apprentice," "I thought we could put that on a more formal footing so I could get a cut." "[ Sniffs ] Okay, here's the... thing." "I can offer you six weeks' training... suspect observation, fake identities, a complete range of weapon skills-- handguns, sniper rifles, knives, explosives, the 17 methods of strangulation... and basic untraceable poisons." "You need to know all that to be a private detective?" "You never know who you might be up against." "Okay." "Go on." "Well, I can't offer you health cover or a pension scheme, but bed, board and laundry would be covered, as would a travel card for the greater London area." "You'd take care of me?" "Mmm, well, yes." "And my name... is Victor Maynard." "[ Man Yells ] Hey!" "[ Bell Ringing ]" "Come on!" "Let's go!" "Shit!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Get back here!" "The markup in that place is criminal." "Half this stuff's past its sell-by date." "What's his problem?" "Unbelievably irresponsible!" "Staggeringlyimmature!" "Staggeringly!" "Staggering!" "Fig roll, anyone?" "Tsk, tsk, tsk." "I'll have one." "Get lost." "Not fair!" "Mr. Maynard!" "♪♪♪♪ [ Piano ]" "[ Woman ] ♪♪ I'm a new soul ♪♪" "♪♪ I came to this strange world ♪♪" "♪♪ Hoping I could learn a bit 'bout how to give and take ♪♪" "♪♪ But since I came here ♪♪" "♪♪ Felt the joy and the fear ♪♪" "♪♪ Finding myself making every possible mistake ♪♪" "♪♪ La-la-la, la ♪♪" "♪♪ La-la, la-la-la, la ♪♪" "♪♪ La-la, la-la-la ♪♪" "♪♪ La-la-la, la-la-la ♪♪" "♪♪ La-la-la, la ♪♪" "♪♪ La-la, la-la-la, la ♪♪" "♪♪ La-la, la-la-la ♪♪" "♪♪ La-la-la, la-la-la ♪♪♪♪" "Is that a cow?" "Much bigger in person." "[ Grunting ]" "God." "What is this?" "It's my home." "Your home?" "What's so strange about that?" "Nothing." "[ Laughs ] No, it all makes perfect sense." "It was my grandfather's, my father's, and now it's mine." "Lift." "That was installed for my mother." "She lived here with me until... quite recently." " Is she dead?" " No." "Just infirm." " Are you close?" " Why do you ask?" "I was being nice." "What's the matter with you?" "Look what I found!" "[ Cat Meows ]" "Snowy." "Hello" "[ Snickers ]" "Let me show you to your rooms." "You take my old room." "Thanks." "[ Object Thumping On Stairs ]" "[ Grunting ]" "[ Exhales ]" "♪♪♪♪ [ Music Box:" ""Rock-a-bye Baby" ]" "Do you like that?" "My father made it for me." "He was good with his hands." "I never had a father." "Well, I had one, obviously, but he didn't hang about." "Mind you, nor did my mother." "[ Knocking ]" "Is this your mother's room?" "That's right." "Mmm." "Got a thing about plastic covers, haven't you?" "I bet condoms don't bother you." "[ Monitor Beeping ]" "How is your assistant doing?" "They want to turn him off." "Perhaps that would be for the best." "No." "He's been paid till the end of the month." "Anyway, he's company." "[ Chuckles ]" "While I'm waiting... for you." "Don't worry." "Sooner or later, one of them is gonna make a mistake." "[ Victor ] Now, we are safe here... as long as we follow a few basic rules of security." "Stay within the house and grounds" "Salt in the middle of the table, please." "And the mint sauce." "Thank you." "So, no contact with the outside." "No phone calls either." "Mobiles to be kept turned off." "Wine in the middle too." "[ Bottle Slams On Table ]" "If you wouldn't mind." "It's a light Burgundy." "I particularly like wines from Burgundy." "So it's essentially a prison." "No." "It's a place of safety, and we want to keep it that way." "How long do you think before all of this just blows over?" "You're being pursued by professional killers." "This willneverblow over." "Swiss action." "A gift from my mother." "[ Rose Grunting ] [ Thump ]" "[ Grunting Continues ] [ Thumping Continues ]" "[ Grunting ] ♪♪♪♪ [ TV:" "Instrumental ]" "[ Knocking ]" "It's 2:45 a.m. You think I don't know that?" "Could you please tell me what you're doing?" "I'm turning the bed around 'cause I sleep facing south, and" "Can you help me?" "Help you?" "Well, insomnia-- It's extremely debilitating." "There." "Due south." "Why didn't I think of that?" " Those shoes." " Yeah." "They give me confidence." "Come and see." "Tony, who is young, modern, eccentric even, but, like everyone else at 2:45 a.m., he's asleep!" " [ Gasps ] - ♪♪♪♪ [ Rock ]" "No, she's the one we go after." "Look at her." "Accident waiting to happen." "The boy is a nobody." "As for Maynard, well, there's no point going after Maynard." "You won't find a trace anywhere." "Not a whisper." "Hmm." "He is the..." "ultimate killing machine." "[ Chuckles ]" "[ Birds Chirping ] [ Cows Lowing ]" "[ Rose Grunting ]" " Oh!" " [ Grunts ]" "What are you-- What are you doing?" "You're insane!" "I'm just digging!" "Put that pick down right now!" " Stop it!" " I was gonna get you some magnolias." "It was supposed to be a surprise for you." "I... got up at 6:00!" "I've never dug a hole for anyone before!" "What, and you had to do it for me?" "Yes!" " Why?" " Because I wanted to thank you!" " [ Sputters ]" " For helping me get to sleep!" "Fill them back up and put the turf on top!" "Now!" " No!" " That was not a request!" "That was an instruction!" "Hang on a second!" "You had no right!" "That's my garden!" "As if you cared about your garden!" "A garden is a place of beauty... where your senses run riot!" "What good is that to you?" "You shrink-wrap your own furniture!" "You're only happy hiding away... in this gloomy, awful house." "God, it's horrible." "It's like everywhere you go, there's that smell." "What smell?" "Cleanliness." "Bleach." "It's like being in hospital." "It's so safe, it's dangerous." "I can't breathe here." "I mean it." "I'm frightened." "I'm frightened if I stay here much longer..." "I'll end up like you-- afraid of everything." " I'm not afraid." " Afraid of admitting who I am." "What I want." "[ Tony Grunting ]" "[ Yelling ]" "What are you getting at?" "You really don't know anything about yourself, do you?" "[ Yelling Continues ]" "Yeah?" "[ Victor ] It's me." "Can I come in?" "I'm in my bath." "I know." "Is it important?" "I think so." "Okay." "All right?" "Yeah." "Having a bath?" "Looks like it." "Tony." "Just lately" "W-Well, I haven't really been on top of things." "I've been distracted at work, and I've just over-trimmed my dwarfUlmus." "My favorite bonsai tree." "So I wondered... if it might be you... confusing me." "Confusing you?" "Without meaning to." "Without realizing." "Without either of us realizing." "Confusing you" "Sexually." "I see." "[ Stammering ]" "The idea's absurd, I know." "I didn't even know you were-- I'm not." "[ Chuckles, Snorts ] That's the thing." "Oh." "Thatisconfusing." "Y-Y-Yeah." "Okay." "What's your first thought?" "My dwarfUlmus." "I could graft it onto the rubber plant." "I won't disturb you any longer." "So now we all know it's as fake as a Romford Rolex." "Mr. Ferguson would like to know where the girl got it." "I really don't mix with the criminal fraternity." "[ Chuckling ] Please." "Even your smile's crooked." "Names." "There are a great many people who copy paintings." "The ones I know didn't do it." "Don't make me shoot first and ask questions later." "Start writing." "What flavor are these?" " Potpourri." " Mmm." "They're not bad." "Here." "But I'm not sure any of these are good enough to have done that." "Marvelous." "Fabian." "No." "No." "[ Crunch ]" "Get the painting." "[ Clears Throat ] [ Chuckles ]" "[ Silenced Gunshots ]" "[ Chuckles ] [ Body Thuds ]" "[ Owl Hooting ]" "[ Rose ] It's me." "Am I disturbing you?" "No, not at all." "It's late, I know." "It, um" "I'm sorry about before." "I shouldn't have said all of those things and" "I was upset and very tired." "Well, there's no harm done." "What do you care what I think, right?" "[ Laughs ]" "Well, you should get some rest." "I can't sleep." "What is it this time?" "My jaw's hurting." "I have one too many teeth at the back here." "Really?" "Yeah." "Do you have any pills?" "Temazepam?" "Trazodone?" "Sleeping pills?" "Soneryl?" "Valium?" "Xanax?" "Sleep-Eze?" "No." "I'm sorry, no." "All right." "I'll just go back to my" "[ Murmuring ] Just go back to" "I could... massage your feet." "Are you serious?" "Acupressure." "I trained a long time ago." "I occasionally practice on myself." "It's wonderful for anxiety." "You massage your own feet?" "Here?" "[ Moans ]" "And there?" "[ Sighs ] You really have a feel for this." "A great many people experience fits of nocturnal anxiety." "It's perfectly normal." "You mustn't worry about it." "Can I tell you something?" "A confession?" "Why not?" "I like having you protecting me." "You're really good at it." "Well, you seem to be." "I don't really have anything to compare it with, because... no one-- no one ever tried before." "But with you," "I really enjoy it." "Well..." "I enjoy... doing it." "With me particularly?" "With you... particularly." "May I... do the other foot?" "[ Moans ]" "[ Screaming ]" "Shit." "Tony!" "[ Screaming Continues ]" "Tony!" "Tony!" "Let me out!" "What are you doing?" "Tony!" "Please!" "Tony!" "She's gonna kill me!" "Let me out!" "Please!" "[ Screams ]" "[ Groaning, Whimpering ]" "This hideous old bat in a wheelchair just tried to kill me!" " She had a knife this big!" "I swear!" " [ Tony ] It was horrible!" "It's true!" "Mother?" "Mother, are you there?" "It's me." "[ Deep Breath ]" "Mother." "I've got everything under control." " [ Shotgun Blast ] - [ Screaming ]" "She means well." "Mother, can we talk about this?" "[ Mother ] I'm very disappointed in you, Victor." "[ Sighs ] Could you sleep in the living room?" " I'm too frightened." " [ Tony ] Come to my room." "That's an excellent idea." "Tony will look after you." "[ Mother ] Your reputation is in tatters!" " Mother." " [ Tony ] Is she like your typical mother?" "Until you kill that floozy, you're the target." "I was behind the door." "Never face a closed door." "How many times have I told you?" "Forgive me." "I just" "No, stop." "Do you realize the mess that you're in?" "I should have stayed here with you." "Since I moved out, you've gone to the dogs." "You're not even sleeping with her." "Mother, I think we have a problem." "Oh, I think so too." "I know you've invested a great deal in me" "A Beretta for your seventh birthday." "A Beretta!" "The pistol of princes." "No boy could have asked for more." "Indeed." "I just wonder, as a result, what I've become." "You've become your father's son." "You saved my life again." "I didn't mean to." "I've never been so scared." "I'm glad you did, because I got something to live for now." "I'm in love." " Really?" " Oh, yes." "Yes, yes, yes." "Get in." "Go on." "Just lie back." "He's so nice." "He'ssonice." "Who is?" "Mr. Maynard, of course." "Really?" "Mmm." "You know, when his mother woke me," "I was dreaming about him." "Really?" "Mmm." "It's funny, because yesterday..." "I couldn't wait to get away, and now..." "I never want to leave." "What happened in between?" "Just enough." "No, we'll just stay here together, just the three of us." "One big, happy family." "A difficult night." "Not at all." "I owe you an explanation about my mother." " I understand how you feel." " Do you?" "I had a cousin like your mother." "Mad as a balloon, poor boy." "But I adored him." "And family's family, right?" "[ Mother ] I don't need your help." "I can easily get a taxi back." "I got one here, after all." "[ Engine Starts ]" "Oh." "How did you-- Excuse me." "My name is Fabian, and I would like you to recommend to me someone who could paint something like this." "Who did this?" " Rembrandt." " Who?" "Rembrandt." "Give me his address." "Now." "He's dead." "Dead?" "When?" "300 years ago." "[ Gasping ]" "Give me a name now." "O-O-Okay, okay." " With something that good, it's got to be Gerry." " Gerry who?" "Gerry Bailey." "The National Gallery." "Works in the restoration department." "He's a friend." "Good." "Mmm." "Took a while but" "Hello." "What a mess." "[ Clears Throat ]" "[ Body Thuds ]" "[ Sighs ]" "Come." "[ Creaking ]" "[ Loud Pop ] [ Glass Shatters ]" "[ Rose, Tony ] ♪♪ Happy birthday to you ♪♪" "♪♪ Happy birthday to you ♪♪" "♪♪ Happy birthday Mr. Maynard ♪♪" "It's all for me?" "♪♪ Happy birthday ♪♪" "♪♪ To you ♪♪♪♪" "[ Rose Giggles ]" "Well, I'm touched." "I-I-It's so kind of you." "I know." "[ Laughs ]" "Blow them out." "Wh" " Oh." "[ Giggles ]" "Sorry about the mirror." "I've never opened one of these before." "How did you know it was today?" "The date was on the pictures in your old room." "I'll open another." "[ Rose Whoops, Laughs ]" "[ Woman ] ♪♪ I'm going up the country Baby, don't you wanna go ♪♪" "♪♪ I'm going up the country ♪♪" "♪♪ Baby, don't you wanna go ♪♪" "Whoo!" "♪ ♪♪ I'm going to some place where I've never been before ♪" " Aah!" " [ Rose Squealing, Laughing ]" "♪♪ I'm going, I'm going where the water tastes like wine ♪♪" "♪♪ Hey, hey, yeah I'm going ♪♪" "♪♪ Where the water tastes like wine ♪♪" "♪♪ We can jump in the water ♪♪" "♪♪ Stay drunk all the time ♪♪" "♪♪ Now, baby pack your leaving trunk ♪♪" "♪♪ You know we gotta leave today ♪♪" "♪♪ Just exactly where we're goin I cannot say ♪♪" "♪♪ But we might even leave the U.S.A. ♪♪" "♪♪ 'Cause there's a brand-new game that I ♪♪" "♪♪ That I want to play-ay-ay Ohh ♪♪" "♪♪ Oh, yeah ♪♪♪♪" "[ Cat Meows ]" "Did you do that?" "No, you did." "[ Sighs ]" "I'm st-stuck." "[ Giggles ]" "I know." "No, I mean" "I mean I can't move." "My shoes." "You've still got them on." "My shoes." "Uh" "[ Both Sigh ]" "Oh, yes." "No, of course." "♪♪ Happy birthday to you ♪♪" "♪♪ Happy birthda y to you ♪♪" "♪♪ Happy birthday Mr. Maynard ♪♪♪♪" "That's my watch." "That way, I knew you'd like it." "[ Laughs ]" "Thank you." "What do you weigh?" "[ Monitor Beeping ]" "Morning." "Dear God, Mike." "You were dull before." "Tony, what do you think of this room?" "It needs color." "[ Footsteps ]" "Color." "Color." "[ Sniffs ]" ""For your first hit, my first gun." "Congratulations." "Your loving father, Felix."" "Color." "Tony, I think she's going to like this." "[ Thump ] [ Cat Yowls ]" "[ Knocking ] [ Victor ] Rose?" "Can I come in?" "Uh, no, I'm-- I'm not decent." "Oh." "Um" "Everything okay?" "Fine." "Why wouldn't it be?" "No reason." "Only, come down." "I have something to show you." "Don't you want to come and see?" "Why are you smiling?" "You'll find out." "Come on." "Turn around, please." "Why?" "What's wrong?" "Turn around." "Tell me why first." "Turn round." "You're in on it too?" "Sure!" "Come on." "Don't be a baby." "Why are you doing this?" "It'll make it a bigger surprise." "I've got you." "Don't be afraid." "It'll be over in no time." "Not long to go now." "[ Both Groaning ]" "Aah!" "[ Groans ]" " Rose!" " Not long for you two either!" " That gun's dangerous." " You don't say." "Hands up!" "N-No, you misunderstand." "I keep that gun for sentimental rea-- Don't shoot!" " It can blow up in your face!" " You're a liar." "And you're a killer." "And you're a thief." "You're made for each other!" "And as for you, when did you find out?" " Find out what?" " That he is not a private detective!" "He's a hit man!" "He was hired to kill me!" "I'm afraid what she says is true." "You are absolute shits, the pair of you." "I don't know how you can live with yourselves." "[ Car Engine Starts ]" "But I thought I was an apprentice detective." "Who sometimes shot people?" "Only sometimes." "By accident." "If it was unavoidable." " Are you going to kill me now?" " Of course not." "No." "But if you leave, someone else will." "There's a list of likely candidates, and I can guess who's at the top." " Who?" " Dixon." "Dixon?" "Is he good?" "He's a disgrace to the profession." "A sadist, an animal." "Mr. Maynard?" "Yes, Tony?" "We'll get him." "[ Headset:" "Woman Speaking French ]" "[ Repeating French ]" "[ Repeating French ]" "[ Headset:" "Woman Speaking French ]" "[ Exhales ] I feel." "I felt." "I have felt." "Gerry?" "Gerry, we're in trouble." "I'm afraid things have got a bit... dangerous." "Gerry." " [ Gasps ]" " Where is he?" "Who?" "The man who was supposed to kill you." " Who wants to know?" " His replacement." "[ Chuckling ] Fucking hell." "[ Clears Throat ]" "So where is he?" "I don't know." "Tell me, or I will cut off his finger and make you swallow it." "Then..." "I'll leave you alone with him." "What, do you want to be brave?" "That's what Gerry wanted too." "[ Clears Throat ]" "Hand, please." "I've lost my touch." "No." "Reload." "I'll mark it through with you." "Here we go." "[ Pistol Cocks ]" "Feet." "Check." "Hand." "Check." "Wrist." "Check." "If you have time, relax." "I have time, I relax." "I hold my breath." "I am at one with my gun." "How about if I don't watch you." "I might be putting you off." "Feet, hand, wrist, breath." "[ Gunshots ]" "Extraordinary." "Tony, people train for years to be able to do that!" "I didn't shoot." "[ Chuckles ]" "Put your guns down, slowly." "Victor Maynard." "At last." "And you are?" "You know full well who I am." "Dixon." "Hector Dixon." "How do you spell that?" "Don't wind him up." "Dixon." "Dix" "Are you the one who does the hits I'm not interested in?" "And the ones you mess up." " Did they torture you?" " No." "I gave them your address right away." "Good girl." "Why didn't you carry out the contract?" "Why do you think?" "Yeah." "It's very... heartwarming." "Up against the wall." "I've missed you." "I've missed you too." "Tony." "Maynard, do your job... and I won't kill the boy." "I'm sorry?" "Kill the girl." "I'll shoot you, but he'll be safe." "I can't." " Do it!" " Okay, calm down." "Just do it." "I'd rather it was you." "I want the best." "Je t'aime." "Je t'aime." " [ Woman ] Freeze!" " [ Machine Gun Fire ]" "You!" "Hands up!" "Higher than that!" "At your age, I still have to do your homework for you." " [ Mother ] You there!" " Me?" "Yes, you!" "Pick up that gun." "And search the runt." "This boy, you see, he could be trained." "But he'll never have what you have-- the killer instinct." " You know I don't believe in the killer instinct." " Oh, no." "You believe in nurture over nature." "Otherwise known as "Blame the Mother."" "Whatever our differences," "I'm grateful to you today." "Oh, don't get sentimental, please." "Did you see that?" " See what?" " Shit." "Nobody move." " Oh, I forgot he took that one off me." " Put the guns down!" "Now!" "And the knife." "Okay." "Really lost your touch, Maynard." "That's Felix's gun." "That was my father's first and favorite weapon." "Mmm." "I hope that thought softens the blow." "Good-bye." "[ Gunshot ] [ Rose Screams ]" "Tony." "Come and see what happens if you don't clean your gun." "Angel!" "Has anybody seen the cat?" "♪♪♪♪ [ Pop ]" "[ Woman ] ♪♪ She said it didn't mean a thing ♪♪" "♪♪ When she threw her diamond ring ♪♪" "♪♪ Out the window of a black cab in Camden ♪♪" "♪♪ He couldn't take it what she did ♪♪" "♪♪ So he threw a hissy fit ♪♪" "♪♪ And they took it out on anyone around 'em ♪♪" "♪♪ Wouldn't believe it ♪♪" "♪♪ If you seen i-i-i-i-it ♪♪" "♪♪ Oh, mayhem Doo-doo-doop ♪♪" "♪♪ A lot of mayhem Doo-doo-doop ♪♪" "♪♪ Yeah, mayhem Doo-doo-doop ♪♪" "♪♪ A lot of mayh-h-hem Whoa-ohh-ohh, yeah ♪♪" "♪♪ He said he didn't even hear the trains ♪♪" "♪♪ Let alone the few words the ladies may be sayin' about him ♪♪" "♪♪ She freaks and tells her closest friend ♪♪" "♪♪ That she'll never love again ♪♪" "♪♪ But she's never gonna ever live without him ♪♪" "♪♪ Wouldn't believe it ♪♪" "♪♪ If you seen i-i-i-i-it ♪♪" "♪♪ Oh, mayhem Doo-doo-doop ♪♪" "♪♪ A lot of mayhem Doo-doo-doop ♪♪" "♪♪ Yeah, mayhem Doo-doo-doop ♪♪" "♪♪ A lot of mayh-h-hem Whoa-ohh-ohh, yeah ♪♪" "♪♪ Hey, ye-e-a-ah ♪♪" "♪♪ Ten pints and then he starts a fight ♪♪" "♪♪ And he lands himself a night in a cell ♪♪" "♪♪ Wearing gray pants and bruises ♪♪" "♪♪ Twelve mates bangin' on the door ♪♪" "♪♪ Oh, the back-up vans galore never saw such a street full of losers ♪♪" "♪♪ Wouldn't believe it ♪♪" "♪♪ If you seen i-i-i-i-it ♪♪" "♪♪ Oh, mayhem Doo-doo-doop ♪♪" "♪♪ A lot of mayhem Doo-doo-doop ♪♪" "♪♪ Yeah, mayhem Doo-doo-doop ♪♪" "♪♪ A lot of mayh-h-hem Whoa-ohh-ohh, yeah ♪♪" "♪♪ Ohh, ye-e-a-ah ♪♪" "♪♪ Scratched face Doesn't seem a tough case ♪♪" "♪♪ Till they see the news flash Sudden clash brutalized in blood ♪♪" "♪♪ Doug's proud of punching down a new fight ♪♪" "♪♪ Gotta get away or get a new life in the scrub ♪♪" "♪♪ Wouldn't believe it ♪♪" "♪♪ If you seen i-i-i-i-it ♪♪" "♪♪ Oh, mayhem Doo-doo-doop ♪♪" "♪♪ A lot of mayhem Doo-doo-doop ♪♪" "♪♪ Yeah, mayhem Doo-doo-doop ♪♪" "♪♪ A lot of mayh-h-hem Whoa-ohh-ohh ♪♪" "♪♪ Yeah, mayhem Doo-doo-doop ♪♪" "♪♪ Yeah, mayhem Doo-doo-doop ♪♪" "♪♪ A lot of mayh-h-hem Whoa-ohh-ohh, yeah ♪♪" "♪♪ Ohh-ho-ho-ho-yeah ♪♪" "♪♪ Yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪♪" "♪♪ Oh, mayhem ♪♪" "♪♪ Yeah, mayhem ♪♪" "♪♪ Oh, mayhem, yeah ♪♪" "♪♪ Oh ♪♪" "♪♪ Yeah ♪♪" "♪♪ Oh ♪♪♪♪" "ENGLISH" " US" " LINE 21"