"And strike three!" "It's so unrealistic." "Derek Jeter doesn't strike out on three curve balls in a row." "Did you know the laws of physics suggest that the curve ball..." "... isactuallyimpossible?" "Why do you have to ruin stuff like that?" ""The curve ball's impossible." "Don't eat that." "It's solid mold."" ""That's not a dog." "It's a possum." "Stop letting it lick your face." Why?" "I gotta get to school." "Let me let you in on a secret." "You don't live with your mom anymore." "You don't have to go to school." "Stay here." "We'll have fun." "Man, I really have to finish some work." "So?" "You can work here." "There's this comfy couch, a lamp, pens." "What else do you need?" "A Cray T3E-1 200 supercomputer." "The lamp has three settings." "I just don't have anyone to hang with." "Do you have to go to school every day?" "Isn't the teacher ever sick, or you get like a snow day or something?" "There are not too many snow days in L.A." "Although I'm studying a climate-change scenario..." "... rightnowwhere the polar icecaps melt" "Just go." "I know I can beat you." "Yeah, strike." "This is a new low." "Did you break another piece off the wall?" "It's just begging to be climbed." "I'm dropping off Michael's laundry." "I gotta get to the salon." "You're going in this late?" "Yeah, my first client cancelled." "God rest her soul." "I was hoping you could stay." "Maybe we could hang out." "Why, is something wrong?" "I don't know." "I like L.A . and all  butbeingbetweenprojects and not knowing that many people..." "... I'm lonely." "How are you supposed to make friends as an adult?" "You met anybody nice in the building?" "This one guy, Jake." "He lives across the courtyard." "He seems cool." "Have you talked to him?" "Kind of." "I've run into him a couple times by the mailboxes." "He's always going to play basketball with his friends." "If I knew him, I could play ball with them too, assuming they also suck." "Why don't you be friends with him?" "Yeah, why don't I just catch a rainbow and put it in my pocket?" "Oh, come on." "It should be easy for you." "It's like picking up a girl." "How do you do that?" "I don't know." "I kind of go into a zone, you know?" "I just start talking to a girl..." "... thenextthingIknow , I'm sneaking out of her apartment." "Maybe you should have a party." "Like, a housewarming." "Invite the whole building." "Have Jake come." "Yeah." "That's a great idea." "I can call Jake right now." "I know from the mailboxes that his last name is Morgan." "More than just a hat rack, Gina." "Okay, Morgan, Morgan." "Shoot, there's like 1 0 J. Morgans." "If only I knew his address." "Here's a guy with the same address as me." "Right, got it." "I'm on it." "Hear that?" "That might be Jake." "Should I go talk to him?" "Go, Joey." "Go grab your rainbow." "Jake, Jake, Jake." "Hey, what's up, man?" "Joey, right?" "Well, my friends call me J-Bird." "Anyway, my roommate and I are having a little party Thursday..." "... foreveryonein thebuilding." "Yeah, sure, I'll stop by." "Awesome." "Yeah, you won't be sorry." "The J-Bird throws a great party." "Why do I keep calling myself that?" "Hold it together, J-Bird!" "Hey, Joey." "Hey." "What, you don't say hello to me?" "I didn't even see you there." "Hello, hello." "Your skin is so beautiful" "Enough." "Yeah, right." "I know you're having a party, so I wanted to drop off a list..." "... ofrulesaboutnoiseandstuff ." "You know you're invited, right?" "Okay." "Hey, Alex." "Hi, Michael." "Who were you on the phone with?" "Did you ever meet Seth from college?" "Was he the homeschooled kid or the Asian kid allergic to light?" "I don't think you ever met him." "He's this super-competitive guy." "He just called to gloat about this fellowship he won..." "... like I hadn't read about it in The Journal of Astrophysics." "By the way, can we please get some new magazines for the bathroom?" "I mentioned the party to him, thinking he's never gonna come." "Not only is he coming now, he wants to bring his girlfriend." "So?" "You don't understand." "If Seth Tobin has a girlfriend, it means" "It means I'm the last guy in my group of friends to have a serious relationship." "The last." "Even after the allergic-to-light guy?" "Arthur Trang does all right." "If you tell a girl, "We have to sit here in the dark or I'll die," stuff happens." "That is going right in the arsenal." "God, I'm so sick of Seth beating me all the time." "You know what it's like to have someone who's like you..." "... butjustalittlebetter?" "Yeah." "Johnny Depp." "I don't even wanna go tonight." "What?" "This is our party." "We're having it to do something together." "I thought this party was for Jake." "That's right, Jake is coming." "You know what?" "You need a girlfriend tonight?" "I don't know this Seth guy." "I'll be your girlfriend." "Okay, Mom, no." "What, we could be a couple." "Aren't we a cute couple?" "People go to jail for that." "Yeah." "Seriously, Mom, stop." "You don't think I'm sexy enough?" "This is the body of a 22-year-old." "Just look how tight my" "Please stop." "What did you say?" "Well, first of all, oh, so tight." "And I could do it." "You'd really do that for me?" "I could be your girlfriend." "My husband's out of town." "I could use a date." "You're a married woman." "Is that appropriate?" "You know the word "appropriate"?" "Well, Alex, if you" " If you'd come with me tonight, I'd really appreciate that." "Big step down, but whatever." "Hey, your fake girlfriend's here." "Is that what you're wearing?" "I thought you were gonna show a little more skin." "Well, sometimes what you don't see is sexier." "Only women think that." "No, I'm sorry." "You look great." "I'm just-- I'm a little nervous about tonight." "Maybe we should get our stories straight." "If we blow this, Seth..." "... he'll never let me hear the end of it." "Okay, my middle name is Julia." "I grew up in" "Actually, well, I had some thoughts about your back-story." "My back-story?" ""Veronica Rockefeller, neurosurgeon/bikini model."" "I'm sorry, am I not good enough?" "No, no. l" ""For believability, please lower your age to 30."" "Right." "I'm 28!" "Hey, guys." "Could you not stand by the door." "When Jake comes in..." "... I don't want you two to be the first people he sees." "Come on." "Hi." "No, no." "In you go, in you go." "Seth." "Sorry I'm late." "I had a congratulatory phone call from Stephen Hawking." "An honor, sure, but just... ." "This is my girlfriend, Molly Wintle." "Hi." "This is my girlfriend, Alex Garrett." "I didn't know you were seeing anyone." "How long have you been together?" "Well, it's hard to say, in a way." "For a long time, he didn't want to be exclusive." "This dog's gotta run." "I guess we've been together three months." "We've been together five." "Two months more, 61 days." "1 464 hours." "87,840 minutes." "87,840 minutes." "How could you?" "What?" "First you break up with me, and then you show up here with this tramp?" "Jake better show." "I mean, look at these people." "Who else could I possibly be friends with here?" "Crazy pet lady?" "No, sir." "I do not care for the way her bird talks about our president." "Hey, I'm Howard, from apartment 1 2." "Hi." "Joey." "This is Gina." "Hey, great." "Nice to meet you." "I'm actually new here in L.A ., and I find it kind of hard to meet people." "Lots of tables for one for old Howie lately!" "So I was pretty excited to get your invitation." "I've seen you around the building, and I wanted to meet you, and here I am!" "Okay!" "Well, enjoy yourself." "Wow, he seems a little desperate, huh?" "At least he didn't throw a party to make you his friend." "It's almost 9." "There'll be a visible pass by the International Space Station soon." "Molly and I share a passion for the night sky." "How nice." "Michael and I share a passion for sex in public." "We'll be outside." "Sex in public?" "Where did that come from?" "I read about it in Cosmo." "Sixty percent of us do it." "Did you see that plate of food Seth brought for Molly..." "... withchickenandminihotdogs?" "I guess." "Molly told me she's a vegetarian." "If they've been together five months, he'd know that." "I noticed another weird thing." "She didn't know about Seth's asthma." "It sends him to the hospital." "It doesn't seem like they know each other very well." "Do you think she could be a fake girlfriend?" "Let's find out." "Hey, Molly." "Which one's better, Jedi or Empire?" "I don't know." "She's fake." "And then when Drake Ramoray walks in and sees them in bed together?" "That was an amazing scene." "Interesting story about that scene." "Drake wasn't supposed to be in it at all." "Then, while looking for a bathroom, I accidentally walked onto the set." "The rest is history." "Days of Our Lives has not been the same without you." "You know, I got some old tapes if you ever wanna" " Jake." "Hey, what's going on?" "I was having a nice time with your guest here." "Yeah, this is Jake." "This is Jake?" "Rainbow Jake?" "Yeah." "Whatever that means." "I don't... ." "So you're a hairdresser." "Would you do anything different with my hair?" "Let me see." "Turn around for a sec." "Great body." "Really great body." "Okay, enough, enough, Gina." "Maybe Jake would like a drink." "Maybe you should get him one." "Maybe you should get him one." "You know what?" "I'll" " I'll get myself a drink." "Can I get anything for the lady?" "So chivalrous." "Yes." "I'll have another Everclear and Gatorade." "Why are you flirting with Jake?" "I didn't know who he was." "You didn't tell me he was so cute." "I'm sorry, that's not something I notice with guys, and yes, I did." "Let me just finish talking, and he's yours." "No!" "Excuse me?" "I don't want you talking to him." "It's hard to meet people." "It's not easy for me either." "can't we share him?" "It never works." "When you get involved with one of my friends, you ruin it." "You break up with him, and he doesn't wanna be with me anymore  orhebreaksupwith you,  and you scare him away." "That why I had to quit the football team, the baseball team." "I had to do theater." "So thanks." "You're being ridiculous." "Back off." "You back off." "You back off!" "I see why you have trouble meeting people." "You got food in your teeth." "I was afraid Jake wasn't gonna show." "When I get upset, I eat." "We have so much in common." "Get out of here!" "Why don't we let Jake decide who he wants to be with?" "I'm so sure he'll pick me, I'll give you a one-minute head start." "Look, I don't need your charity." "Jake and I are gonna be" "You just wasted 1 0 seconds." "Only 40 seconds left." "Hey, man." "Nothing like a cold beer on a warm summer night, huh?" "This is apple juice." "I'm an alcoholic." "It's a disease." "So, what do you do for a living, Jake?" "I'm a market maker in the energy sector." "I mostly do arbitrage." "Hey, my uncle's a garbage man, yeah." "I'm an actor myself." "Not really working right now, so that's not interesting." "I love video games." "And Die Hard." "I'm an excellent parallel parker." "I once saw Mr. T in a restaurant." "Hi." "It's really hot in here." "You wanna go check out the patio?" "Catch you later." "Yeah." "I knew it." "What you do see is sexy." "This is typical Seth." "He could have come to the party alone." "Instead, he does all this just to one-up me." "He's not gonna get away with it." "I'm a lawyer." "I'll just pretend he's a defendant for a very, very geeky crime." "They're splitting up." "Divide and conquer." "You take nerdly." "So tell me, how exactly did you and Seth meet?" "Oh, at a Memorial Day party thrown by a mutual friend." "It was a sunset cruise around Catalina Island." "That's so romantic." "And I had to go to San Francisco on business that night..." "... soSethofferedtodriveme to the airport." "Then when I came back, he surprised me by picking me up too." "Couple of questions." "You say you went on a sunset cruise on Memorial Day?" "Yeah." "Then you flew to San Francisco..." "..." "laterthatnight?" "On business." "So just a few weeks before the summer solstice..." "... whenthesunsets well after 8:00..." "... yoursunsetcruisegot backintimefor you to catch a flight to San Francisco..." "... whenthelastshuttletoSFO leaves at 9 p.m.?" "Is that what you're saying?" "I don't remember." "I want to return to something else that you said about this alleged boat trip." "Don't know if you noticed, but I've been working out." "Yeah." "I've been-- I've been working out too." "Oh, yeah?" "I'm bench-pressing 90 pounds." "Can you bench-press your body weight?" "So, what do you think Molly and Alex are talking about?" "Oh, girl stuff." "Then either it didn't happen that way, or both you and Seth..." "... areinviolation of the U.S. Fisheries Act of 1 988." "I have to go to the bathroom." "The answers aren't in there, Miss Wintle!" "Hey, Gina." "Sorry to interrupt, but I have to show you something." "Armand Assante just walked in." "Oh, my God." "I love him." "Where?" "He's not here." "I wanted to get you away from Jake so I could talk to him." "One day Armand Assante will be here, and I won't go." "You have fooled me so many times." "He's gonna leave soon, okay?" "Let me have five minutes." "I saw you give him your number." "I put a little lipstick kiss on it to up what I like to call "the class factor."" "If you don't let me talk to him, I'll tell him stuff about you." "I don't have secrets." "How old did you tell him you were?" "All right, five minutes." "Hey, Jake." "Thanks for the party." "I gotta take off." "No, really?" "I got a basketball game in the morning." "I was wondering if the J-Bird wants to come." "Who?" "Oh, that's me." "Yeah." "Sweet." "So I'll swing by and pick you up around 9." "Great." "Hey, Jake, what's that you just threw out there?" "Nothing." "Just the phone number of that girl I was talking to." "I was hoping to get more than a number tonight." "But she's got more self-esteem than that outfit would suggest." "So you're not gonna call her?" "She's fine for a slow night, but not worth dinner and a movie." "That's my sister, Jake." "Man, I'm sorry." "I don't know what to say." "We still on for basketball?" "No." "I'm gonna play with guys who don't think my sister's trashy." "Good luck finding them." "Yeah, tell me about it." "Hey, I think I came on a little too strong with Jake." "I might have freaked him out." "He's probably not gonna call." "I saw him throw my number out, Joey." "But I like your story better." "He just wanted a one-night stand, huh?" "A one-night stand" "Don't even think about it." "You okay?" "I know how much this meant to you." "You went through all this trouble to meet him." "Oh, no, no." "Hey, it's all right." "I just" "I didn't think it'd be this hard to meet people, you know?" "Hey, remember when you left home, and you moved into Manhattan?" "You found people there." "Yeah, but I was a kid then." "It was easy, you know?" "I gotta go through all that again now?" "Look, it'll happen." "At least this time you got me." "Well, I do have your number." "Now, does underlining "up late" also help with the class factor?" "Molly has something she'd like to say." "I don't want to do this anymore." "I just want to go home." "What do you mean?" "The game is up." "We know she's not your girlfriend." "Oh, my God." "Seth, why?" "Why did you lie?" "So I could beat you for once, okay?" "What are you talking about?" "You" "You got into caltech's doctoral program." "I got rejected." "You've got this killer apartment." "I live at home and share a bathroom with my grandmother." "I never win." "That's how you feel about me?" "Look, okay." "I have to tell you something." "Alex isn't real." "You built her?" "Get away from me." "I mean, she's not really my girlfriend." "Okay, yes, I asked her to pretend to be my date tonight..." "... toimpressyoubecause I feel like I never win." "Makes you think." "Yeah." "So I guess we both kind of learned our lesson." "I learned it first." "I learned it better." "I already knew it." "But I'm the one" "Geeks, geeks, geeks." "We're done." "So he was the reason I threw this party, and he turns out to be a jerk, you know?" "All I wanted was someone to hang out with." "Okay, we can try it." "But I'm not making any promises." "You will not regret this." "Hey, Gina, on a trial basis, Howard here is gonna be my friend, okay?" "I don't want you hitting on him and ruining everything." "I will try to control myself." "I am only a woman." "Let's play a game where you throw the trash in the bag..." "... butyouusemybody  as a backboard." "This just might work out." "I don't know why you caved." "We totally had them." "Are you kidding me?" "They would have caught on eventually." "No one's gonna believe a girl like you would be going out with..." "... youknow,me ." "Please." "Will you stop selling yourself short like that?" "I'm not." "I just know my limitations." "Women, they don't like me." "Except lesbians, who, when I'm wearing my old glasses, think I'm one of them." "Let me tell you something." "If there was a 20-year-old me out there..." "... shewouldbe lucky to have a guy like you." "Thanks." "If I could build an ultrarealistic girl robot..." "... I'd want her to be just like you." "Well, that's sweet." "But I'd probably give her bigger" "That's enough." "Subtitles by SDI Media Group" "[ENGLISH]"