"Valentine's Day is two weeks away, but Cupid is very busy." "His arrow's struck Lynn Weaver a talk-show host worth $ 100 million whose popular program has spawned a TV empire announced her marriage this afternoon." "The lucky groom-to-be is former NFL quarterback and aging playboy Mike Gambril who is a sportscaster for NBC in Los Angeles." "You look good with your collar up like that." "Mike, nice catch!" "Lynn Weaver and Mike Gambril the aging sports stud and the popular talk-show host have everyone talking about their engagement." "Mike is a sportscaster for an LA affiliate." "But how he got that job is the real news." "Sources say Lynn got Mike the job but so far the quarterback has been fumbling." "If that doesn't make her think twice there's Mike's reputation for playing the field." "This is my favorite part." "I like this." "Who's standing on the cake with her?" "One-time NFL backfield coach Mike Gambril." "Perfect timing." "When you get back from Australia we go in, we renegotiate your deal." "Mike, what time is your flight?" "Can I make a call?" "People are batshit over you two getting married." "It's perfect." "You're the lawyer." "Don't hold me to it, but in the next few weeks I can get in excess of $200,000." "If Lynn can get you on a Wednesday night special, the sky's the limit." "I mean, who's going to say no to Lynn Weaver?" "Did you hear when I said "the sky's the limit"?" " You got a date?" " For what?" "The wedding." "The wedding!" "We're getting there." "What do you mean?" "Don't louse this up for me." " Would I do that?" "Calm down." " I am calm." "I was thinking we should have it on TV." "Ever think of that?" "I'm joking." "I'm joking." "I'm glad I caught you." "You forgot your watch." " I wondered where it was." " The editing room." "The editing room, yeah." "Thanks." " Safe trip." " Bye." "Thanks." " Who removes their watch in editing?" " I do." "Sweet." "Very nice." "What did she take off?" "Don't louse this up, huh?" "I'm telling you, he's not on the flight." "Wait, I see him." "Don't worry, I'll get the picture." "You'll get your Lynn Weaver story." "You wanted a picture of the tattoo on Tom Arnold's ass." "I got you a picture." "You think you can do better?" " Mr. Gambril, welcome." " I'll take those." "Thanks." "The flying time for the L.A. Leg of our New York to Sydney flight should be 13 hours and 47 minutes." " What can I get you to drink?" " Only a pillow." "The temperature in Sydney should be the same as it is here, 68 degrees." "Excuse me, I think that's my..." "I thought these things were extinct." "Mike Gambril, what a thrill!" "I've been watching you sleep." "How are you?" "I've seen you play 1000 times." "I'm Herb Stillman." "This is my wife, Nora." "She's a fan of yours, too." "You've given us 1000 thrills!" "I'm glad you stopped coaching." "I'm trying to watch the movie." "Mike Gambril." "Really?" "Hi." "Terry." " How are you?" " Good." "I'd like..." "It's true, he's given me 1000 thrills." " But coaching is a thankless job." " Herbie?" " Herbie?" " Yes, Nora, sweetheart?" "Excuse me." "Can you help me?" "I can't figure out 23 across and 15 down." "I have an empty seat here." "You two can come up here and sit beside each other." "Come on." "Your son wouldn't have to..." "I hate to tell you, but this is my grandson." "It's Matthew." "Shake hands with Mike Gambril." " Come on up here, I insist." " Thank you very much." "Did that look stupid?" "I know I looked stupid." "Was anyone watching?" " No." " Good." "I must say, at my age 14 hours is 14 hours, know what I mean?" "It's 14 hours of my life." "We only have six more hours, but..." "I don't even know what time zone I'm in." "I took off from LA 9000 miles to Sydney on Friday then back to New York for the weekend and back to LA on Tuesday." " Can I help you?" " I'm sorry, I'm in the wrong place." "Literally." "I'm up in the air all the time." "You do that on any kind of ongoing basis you become..." " Disoriented?" " Disoriented." "Disoriented." "And... and..." "Isolated?" "Isolated, yeah." "Isolated." "How long are you gonna be in Sydney?" "Two days." "Two days!" " Actually, two and a half." " Me too." "But I'm lucky, I don't travel on an ongoing basis." "I don't worry about feeling isolated." "That's good." "This is your captain." "Please fasten your safety belts." " Let me get that." " No, I..." " I'll get it." " No, really, I..." "I'd rather..." "This will look fantastic." " Is that for a coat or a dress?" " A sailboat." "A sailboat?" " Don't want to lose these." " Thank you." "All right." "Here we go." " Good-looking guy." " I think so." "Stockbroker?" "He's an investment banker." " What firm?" " Shearson Leahman." " Don't tell me he runs it." " Actually, he does." "What is he, 30, 35?" "He's young." " Amazing!" " What's that?" "Memory loss is not necessarily related to aging." " Memory loss?" " Absolutely." "It's usually stress, change." "Change creates stress." "The bigger the change, the greater the stress." "It must be overwhelming." "The mind is like a computer." "It can only process so much information before it farkles." " Farkles?" " Breaks down." "Crashes." "Don't be embarrassed." "It's experience overload." "That's why you have a black book." " What are we talking about?" " Us." "You don't have a clue, do you?" "Don't be embarrassed." "You've been a very busy man for a long time." "I'm a big girl." "You look clammy." "Are you all right?" "Me?" "I'm fine." "Mike, it's no big deal." "Not every experience in life is memorable." "You've been with many women." "It's understandable." "I hate root beer." "Come on, it's funny!" "What?" "To hear you call a wonderful experience forgettable?" "What would you call it?" "You didn't say anything, so I didn't." "I'm not going to embarrass you." "That's hilarious." "One thing about me, I don't forget." "I know when I forget something." "If you know what you forgot, you didn't forget it." "We've been experiencing trouble with one of our engines." "Actually, two engines on the right wing." "We have to make an unscheduled landing." "There's a landing site on a Cook Island atoll." "Attendants, please review the emergency landing procedures." "We should be on the ground very shortly." "He found an atoll." "We got a place to land." "It's a sunken volcano." "He's got a place to land." "There's nothing but water out there!" "No lights, no land!" "They do this all the time with coordinates and vectors." "With no engine on the right wing?" "He can land on one engine." "It's fine." "I spend my life on planes." "Don't worry." "Let's hear it!" "Let's hear it!" " What?" " Excuse me." "As we're on a rather small landing strip built during World War II there's no immediate possibility of moving you by air from the island." "But we have three ships nearby to ferry our passengers to Fiji, Tahiti or Hawaii one of which you can see moored to our right." "We'll help you make connections from any of these airports." "If you'll return to your seats our flight attendants will give you information." "Thank you." "Tahiti, Fiji or Hawaii?" "Go with what you know." "I know Tahiti." "They're all 2 or 3 days away." "Days?" "Forget Sydney for me." " Really?" " Yeah." "I gotta call New York." "Do the ships have phones?" " Sometimes." " Really?" "Well... congratulations." " For what?" " Lynn Weaver." "Tell her from me she has a gallant fiancé." "I know Hawaii, so have a nice trip." "Thank you." "You, too." "Don't get too disoriented." "Terry, I want you to read this and give me your opinion." "Chernobyl." "That's good." "Chernobyl." "That cloud went around the earth." "Want hear a poem?" "Listen to this:" "Oh, Chernobyl cloud" "Chernobyl cloud What did you do?" "Yesterday I had one head Today I have two" "Excuse me." "This boat does stop at Raiatea?" "Raiatea, Tangiroa, Huahine and Morea." " Is Raiatea the first stop?" " Can we talk?" "I'd like to make a phone call to Sydney." "No telephone!" "Send telegram." "How do I send one?" "Form in stateroom." "Fill out." "Hang on door." " Do you happen to have a form?" " Form in stateroom." "Fill out!" "I understand!" "I'm asking nicely, do you have a form?" "It's 5:30." "If you don't go to bed we'll sleep all day tomorrow." "The toilet in my room doesn't flush!" "Good morning, Miss MclKay." "Welcome to our beautiful Belorussia." "You'll be in stateroom 21." "What happened to Hawaii?" "It was another 4 hours." " That's terrible!" " I know." "Where is the telephone?" "There is none." "There's radiotelegraph." "You fill out the form and hang it on the door." "Will you be sure Miss MclKay's bags go to her room?" " Excuse me." " Oh, hello." "Smooth." "We can work our way around here." " Is this uncomfortable for you?" " What?" "Given our history and..." "I don't think we want to give people the wrong idea." " Why ask for trouble?" " Right." " You do attract attention, you know." " As do you." " And very deservedly, I might add." " Thank you." "But I'm nothing if not discreet." "That's common knowledge." "If it were, you wouldn't be discreet." "I'm fine with our history." "Thank you." " You know what it is?" "Your hair." " Longer." " It was a lot longer." " Now it's longer." "That's what I mean." "But there's more red in it." " Not really." " No, not really." "It probably looks more red because it's longer." "But that's not how I get a sense of someone." "This is my room." "There's 21." "Mike, you were nice on the plane." "You serious?" "Let me ask you, when you think about us what do you remember most?" "We only saw each other once." "You tripped on a bag in front of a hotel as I got a cab." "We never met." "Beautiful luggage." "I do have a weakness for nice things." "Me, too." "Nice things are nice." "Better get to work on those telegrams." "He says, it's honor to have you all aboard." "That we are proud to offer help in moment of crisis." " We love Americans." " Watch." "We were in Hawaii last year at the same hotel as Alex Trebeck." " Really?" " Don't drink the water." "Hey, the coach is here!" "Mr. Gambril, I'm the captain." "On behalf of captain, welcome to our happy table." " Herb, Nora." " And you know..." "We met briefly." " Miss...?" " MclKay." " Nice to see you again." " Certainly nice to see you again." "Please, sit there." "Over there is good, too." "Wally Tripp." "Good to meet you." "Radiotelegram." "If you don't make a friend of TV it exploits your misery." "You're miserable, you watch TV, you escape, you see more misery." " Violence, war..." " I tell you, TV has been good to me." "Mike, you're in local TV now, right?" "You have to make a friend of television." "$ 75?" "Small school, tiny school, no money, no bucks." "How do you say, "You can be great?"" " What's the toughest thing?" " Getting them to listen?" " Or getting them to think?" " The great ones don't." "What do you mean?" "They react." "They don't have to think." "What're you talking about?" "Are you saying a football player is greater if he doesn't think?" "I like watching you move." "Excuse me." "Basically, I'm in TV, too, now." "Hey, you." "Hi, how are you?" "See the heavyset guy at the bar with a camera?" "He was traumatized by the landing last night." "He's so sweet." "I couldn't even get him to come to the table." " I can do that." " Would you?" "I'll do that for you." "That's so nice of you." "What are you doing?" "Watching you move." "I saw what was going on with you and the captain." "I'm not gonna put up with it another moment, understand me?" "They may be pretty faces, but they're shallow." "Thank you, dear, I just..." "I needed to hear you say that." "Did she fall for it?" "The silly story of the plane going down and moving to a Russian ship." "She doesn't ask a lot of questions." " Is that good?" " I think so." "You don't play around, do you?" "No, but I think I might have to if I were involved with someone like you." "But you wouldn't." "You're way too fussy." " Fussy?" " Cautious." "Playing around is like this." "Too much is bad for you, but a little raises the HDLs." " HDLs?" " Good for the heart." "Is it?" "I think that might be difficult for you." "Is that so?" "It might be." "But you can get a little wet, even if you're fussy." "Miss MclKay." "Radiotelegram." "I'll be right back." "Alka-Seltzer, for headache." "My wife has a headache." "It's me." "It's me." "Hello, honey." " She was drunk." " You're drunk." " I'm not drunk!" " I see you're drunk." " You're at the bar, flirting." " I do not flirt!" "You do flirt!" "You gonna marry him?" "Forget that." "What do you mean, a sailboat?" "A coat or a dress I can understand." "But a sailboat?" "That's what I'm doing in Sydney." "I'm decorating a sailboat." " A red one." " You're a decorator?" "I'm a musician." "What do you play?" "Piano, I guess." "I don't know." "I teach it." "But I also write songs and I sing." "You sure sound like you sing." "Yeah, I sing." "I'm big." "I'm very big." "Ray Charles sings, "You got the right one" and someone goes, "Uh-huh" in certain South American countries, that's me." "Also, I have dabbled in waitressing but at the apex of my music career and my food service career I met a man and I helped him decorate his apartment in New York." "Then I decorated his Hampton house and his house in Palm Beach." "Then I decorated his apartment in Sydney." "If his acquisition of Virgin succeeds I'm sure I'll decorate something in London." "But at the moment, it's a sailboat." "It's red." "It's nice." " You gonna marry him?" " Yeah, I guess." "I hope so." "I'm madly in love with him." "What?" "Come here." "All right?" " I really should go." " No, don't." "I think so." "I think so." " Don't think." " Right." "The great ones don't, huh?" " How you doing?" " How are you?" "I'd like to send the lady a drink." "A glass of tomato juice, two raw eggs and a shot of vinegar." "About last night..." "Listen..." "You don't want to mess up your life any more than I do mine." "Well..." "You can get a small plane tonight to Tahiti, then to Sydney." "This boat will take two days to reach an airport." "You can get there tonight." "I'm gonna run along." "Big shuffleboard game?" "As a matter of fact, I know a woman who lives on the next island." "I'm shocked and amazed." "She's amazing." "Want to come?" "Do you feel you need a chaperon?" " She's my aunt." " Your aunt?" "A couple hours with a guy and his aunt..." "Meet me in 20 minutes." "Do you have an aunt on every island?" "Your aunt?" "Sure." "Oh, ducks!" "Out!" "Go on." "Holy Moses!" "Get!" "For God's sake, Michael!" "What are you doing here?" " You're the only restaurant in town." " This is a surprise." "She's a surprise, too." "You, her, what a surprise." "You certainly have got yourself a handful." "Actually, no, I don't." "He's got the handful?" "Good." "Very good." "It's about time." "I like that." "You've got the wrong girl." "I say, you're a knockout in person and look so much younger." "Do they make you up on television?" "This is not Lynn, this is Terry MclKay." "We were on a plane together and we had to land on the islands and..." "Why were you on a plane together?" " We were going to Australia." " We're friends." "This isn't Lynn." "Friends?" " This isn't the girl you'll marry?" " No." "Well..." " We gotta be back on the boat by 5." " It's nice to meet you." "Friends?" "Rau, come and look who's here." "So..." "Well..." "How's the new job?" "How is it?" "Is it fun?" "Is it satisfying, at least?" "Say no more." "Say no more." "Eloquent, isn't he?" "A born broadcaster." "How are you doing?" "This is Rau." "Terry MclKay." " Look at you!" "How big he is!" " Come see the little one." "We're going to see the baby." "Be right back." "What do you think of your brother?" "Tell me, as a friend, what do you think of Michael's fiancée?" "Well, we just met, Mike and I." " You're a new friend?" " I haven't met Lynn." "Neither have I, as I'm sure you've gathered by now." " Are you in broadcasting?" " No." " What do you do?" " Music." " Music?" " Music." "Your house is beautiful." "It's rather nice." "I'd never leave here." "I hope you don't feel awkward being here with Michael when he's engaged." "I'm engaged myself." "Are you happy?" "I'd better be." "I have everything I want." " That's what Michael says." " Why do you think he's wrong?" "I didn't say he was wrong." "Naive, maybe." "The trick in life isn't getting what you want it's wanting it after you get it." "For people like you and Michael, the getting is easy." "Would you like something to eat?" "Thanks, but don't go to any trouble." "No, it's no trouble at all." "Your horses are beautiful." "They seem devoted." "Bernard and Sophie?" "They're devoted, but then they're stuck on an island." "Horses are not monogamous." "I made this tea cake yesterday." "Could you slice it for me, please?" "Swans, of course, are." " Are what?" " Monogamous." " They are?" " Unremittingly." "You make them sound almost boring." " I mean..." " I know what you mean." " Roosters?" " Not monogamous." "You've heard?" " Do you find them boring?" " Depends on the rooster." "What about ducks?" "What about ducks?" "They're worse." "They're promiscuous, and they are terribly indiscreet." " I try not to make judgements." " About what?" "About whether or not somebody wants to if you'll excuse the expression fuck a duck." "Please don't misunderstand." "I'm not recommending it." "But I don't necessarily view it as a moral failure." "No." "I mean, no." "How long were you married?" "Dearie, I am married, although he died 12 years ago." "I am married." "Haven't we forgotten something?" "Yes." "Forks." "If I'd known I was going to live to 86 I wouldn't have let the maid go." "You like it?" "Very much." "Michael did it." " Back when he played football." " Does he still paint?" "I don't think so." "I doubt he has the time." "He's so busy in other places pursuing other things if you'll excuse the expression other ducks." "Other ducks." "But I'm not sure Michael is a duck." "He does a pretty good imitation of one." "Sometimes I feel he's desperate." "Impostors are usually desperate to behave like what they know they're not." "But as a duck I have no doubt he's very credible and highly energetic." "You're worried about him?" "I didn't say I was worried about him." "I hope you won't turn out to be one of those irritating women who think they can read minds." "Okay." "I'm worried." "Why?" "I just..." "I just want him to have what I had." "I've been lucky." "I always knew what I wanted." "He's settling down, isn't he?" "Michael may just be the ugly duckling who doesn't know he's a swan." "He thinks he's a duck." "He'll probably continue to behave like a duck until he finds another swan." "Maybe he's found one." "I'm quite sure he's found one." "Five o'clock." " You must go?" " Yes." " May I...?" " Thank you." "Thank you." "I wore this when I was married." "Beautiful." "Well, off you go." "These petals are supposedly the hands of a Polynesian princess." "It's been hanging around for 62 years and it's still holding together." "I wish I could say the same for myself." "We'll see you soon." "We've got an hour and a half before the plane." " Shuffleboard?" "Bingo?" " Bingo?" "Forget the bingo." "It was a good day." "Thanks." "You're right." "I'd better go pack." "We're heading into a rough sea." "Mike, let's forget the plane." "We have two days." " Will he be at the gate?" " IKen?" "Yeah." " Lynn?" " Yeah." "Excuse me, what would you like for lunch?" " I'm not gonna have anything." " Neither will I." " All right." " Thank you." " Did you say something?" " No." "Ladies and gentlemen we'll be on the ground shortly." "The temperature in New York is 41 degrees." "Let me take this opportunity to thank you for flying with us." "If you travel to our part of the world we look forward to seeing you again." "It's about that time." "Excuse me, it's time to put up your seat." "Thank you."