"That's it." "Perfect." "These photos are gonna look great in People magazine." "Let's see your good side." "God, no." "Go back." "That's it." "Yeah, we got it." "All right." "People magazine." "My mom is gonna be so excited." "Now if you just get me into a Playboy, my dad can read about me too." "Now, listen, Joey." "The interview portion is later." "Judy Wilson is gonna meet you on the set." "Now, she's single, which is good  but she's smart, which could kill us." "You need to come off as a great guy." "I mean, really charm her." "I'll give it a shot, sweetheart." "Oh, come on, get serious." "Bobbie, will you relax?" "Look, I will handle the interviewer, okay?" "By the time I'm done, she'll wanna put me on the cover." "There's a new stud in town." "So move over, "Robert Blake's Legal Nightmare."" "You are such a fascinating interview." "And all the charity work you do with children." "You're almost too good to be true." "Please." "You're starting to sound like the people I pulled from that burning car." "Our research shows that in your role as a single father..." "... you're becoming very popular with women over 30." "How do you feel about that?" "Great." "You know, I feel like women really come into their own..." "... aftertheageof30." "Theyknowwho they are, they know what they want." "And, well, I find that very sexy." "I've got a couple more questions to ask..." "... andsomeof these may seem a bit silly..." "... but it's what our readers are into." "What's your favorite color?" "Purple." "Me too." "When you get to heaven, what do you want God to say?" "Come on in, Joey." "This place is full of women over 30." "And do you have any siblings?" "Yeah, I have seven sisters." "Wow, you must really understand women." "You know, I'm here to interview you, so this may be totally inappropriate..." "... butisthereany chance you'd wanna have drinks?" "I would love that." "Why don't I take you out to dinner tomorrow night?" "Tomorrow night?" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, why not?" "Oh, my God." "Okay." "Morning." "How did your interview go yesterday?" "Great." "I think she kind of liked me, so I'm taking her to dinner tonight." "Tonight?" "You serious?" "Why, what's the big deal?" "Good morning, everybody." "Happy Valentine's Day." "No, no!" "What's wrong?" "I asked this girl out to dinner." "I didn't know it was Valentine's Day." "Now she's gonna think I wanna get all serious and start a relationship." "Oh, and you don't?" "Oh, you're cute, yeah." "I can't believe I have a date on Valentine's Day." "I'm gonna miss my annual ritual." "Why, what do you usually do?" "Well, every year I go to a bar alone..." "... findthattable full of single women..." "... pretending they don't need men  sendoverabottleofwhite zin, wait five minutes and pounce." "It's a little something I like to call "Valentine's Day Massacre."" "Well, you can't reschedule now." "She'll be devastated." "Yeah, be like standing someone up for the prom." "Sorry, sweetie." "She got lost on the way to our house..." "... shefoundanotherguy  and she went with him." "Maybe I'm overreacting." "Is there any chance she won't take it seriously?" "Well, how old is she?" "I don't know, 33, 34." "Which is it, because at 33..." "... you're still happy being a sexy single woman." "At 34..." "... yougotaweddingdress in your trunk just in case." "I've gotta find something to take the pressure off this date." "Maybe you guys can come with me." "Don't you think that'd be obvious?" "Not if you happen to be at the same restaurant, and then you can join us." "That works." "I'm not doing anything." "Yeah, and Eric's still on tour, so I'm available." "And we know Michael's free." "Mom, I explained this." "Virginia's cat had a stomach thing." "She'll call me in the next few weeks." "I'm so excited about tonight." "To us." "To the Knicks." "So did you finish my article yet?" "Oh, I don't wanna talk about work." "You reach a certain age when you have to focus on your personal life." "I mean, let's face it, I'm not 34 anymore." "Oh, my God." "What is my sister doing here..." "... withmynephewand myneighbor?" "Of all the Valentine's Day mix-ups." "And I hope they don't see us." "Joey, what are you doing here?" "What are you doing here?" "What I do every Valentine's Day." "Taking my son and my lawyer friend out to a crowded restaurant..." "... whereI havenotmade a reservation." "Well, I guess they could join us." "You sure?" "It doesn't have to get in the way of our romantic evening." "Michael, why don't you squeeze right in here between us." "Gina, Michael, Alex, this is Judy." "I'm his Valentine." "Stop, stop." "Oh, God." "Thirty-five dollars for lobster risotto in a heart-shaped mold." "This holiday is so stupid." "Alex, you're kind of ruining the mood there." "Hey, look at all these suckers out celebrating this Hallmark holiday." "My husband and I don't need this kind of thing." "Though a card might've been nice." "Or a phone call or an e-mail, perhaps." "But we spoke on Tuesday." "He asked me to gather his receipts." "Tax time's coming, so... ." "Can you excuse me?" "I'm gonna use the restroom." "Look at those single girls over there, and I'm stuck on a date." "God, I can't just leave them there." "Michael, they deserve better, but I'm sending you in." "No, I can't." "I'm taken." "Virginia said she'd call  thesecondhercat  took a turn for the better." "Michael, it's cleavage, lipstick and appletinis." "It's a cry for help." "Answer the call." "You know what, you're right." "I'm not just gonna sit here waiting for her." "Ladies, get ready for a massacre." "Yeah." "All right." "Yeah." "Is it me, or is self-confidence a bummer on him?" "Happy Valentine's Day, ladies." "Oh, great, another one." "You think because we're sitting alone, we're desperate for a man?" "You're not, are you?" "I knew I shouldn't have done this." "I'd never have come over if he hadn't said to." "He's cute." "Is he coming over too?" "No, I'm all you get, okay." "I was supposed to have a date, but her cat had this stomach thing." "Oh, honey, I've used that excuse." "She doesn't have a cat." "So I got blown off for Valentine's Day?" "Yeah, join the club." "Could I?" "Could we talk for a second?" "Sure." "Come on, everyone." "Let's go talk to Judy." "Just you." "Oh, excuse me." "Look, I'm sorry these guys just showed up." "You know I'd love to have you all to myself..." "... but it's out of my control." "Joey, I'm not an idiot." "I know why they're here." "You do?" "Yeah." "You wanted me to meet your family." "I mean, I can't believe how fast this is moving..." "... butitfeelssoright." "Special music for the lovers." "What a difference a day makes, huh?" "I'm out on Valentine's Day with a great guy." "I'm being welcomed into a family." "I mean, if this was a first date for most guys, they'd be freaking out." "You guys are a beautiful couple." "Now, this may be the alcohol talking, but" "It's the alcohol, don't say it." "Don't take this for granted." "You have to put your love in a bottle and make a promise..." "... todrinkfromiteveryday." "And if you do..." "... atnightit willreplenishitself." "You hate your body?" "I hate my body." "Why?" "You're so thin." "No, you should see me in a bathing suit." "I have some real problem areas." "At least you can have dessert." "You know what?" "I don't care what that bastard Jim said." "You look great." "Yeah, you know what?" "To hell with the diet." "I'm getting the chocolate mousse." "You go, girlfriend." "Okay, yeah." "All right." "Yeah." "I can't believe you have a child that age." "You look amazing." "How old are you?" "Thirty-six." "I'm older than you, and you have an adult son?" "Older?" "Yes, hold her." "I admire you, but I'm not interested in having kids." "As long as I have my career and someone special..." "... that's all I care about." "I remember when I thought like that." "Then you turn 1 5, everything changes." "Oh, I should take this." "Hi, Cynthia." "No, I'm not at home." "You won't believe what happened." "cynthia's gonna be a fat bridesmaid at my wedding, isn't she?" "She gave you the perfect out." "She doesn't want kids." "Just tell her how important they are to you." "That's a great idea." "When my mother was my age..." "... shehadthreekids." "All I have is a husband who's away all the time." "Last week, a squirrel snuck into our apartment..." "... andI thoughtit wasEric, and he had come home to surprise me." "I put on lingerie for a squirrel." "I'll take care of her." "You take care of Judy." "Come on, sweetie." "Oh, God, it feels so good to be touched." "I'm sorry." "It's just that he's away all the time." "And I try to pretend like it doesn't bother me..." "... butdeepdown,itdoes ." "Of course it does." "I mean, he's always traveling, you know, and even when he's home  it's not like he's here, you know." "Here." "You have massive breasts." "Two coffees, please." "You wanna know how long it's been since we've had sex?" "One coffee and one tequila, please." "And even when we have sex, it feels like there's something missing..." "... andcanItellyoua secret?" "I wish you wouldn't." "When I make love to my husband..." "... IthinkaboutNoahWyle ." "Judy, obviously this is hard for me to say..." "... butchildrenareveryimportanttome,  and I was kind of shocked..." "... when I heard you didn't want any." "I'm sorry, that's just how I feel." "How many women have I lost because of my desire to have children?" "Wow, I'm surprised you feel that strongly about this." "Oh, so strongly." "You know, I've always had this fantasy about coming home at night..." "... andhavingallthesekids running at me, screaming, "Daddy's home."" "And then we'd roughhouse and build forts..." "... andthensitaroundthefire eating a big bowl of ice cream." "I can't believe this is happening." "I know." "You've talked me into having children." "It wasn't bad enough I asked her out on Valentine's Day  Italkedherintohavingchildren." "Oh, Joey." "Oh, if laughter really is the best medicine..." "... thenthatstoryjust cleared up my hepatitis." "Look, a bad article from this woman could really hurt your career." "They go to press in two days." "So until then, just give her anything she wants." "I don't know." "Oh, for God's sake." "It's only 48 hours." "I took a shower with Ed Asner that took longer than that." "Okay." "All right, I can do this." "Thanks, Bobbie." "I have to keep it up for two days." "Why do I have to be so charming to the opposite sex?" "Hey, at least you just have the opposite sex." "Everybody wants me." "See you guys later." "I'm meeting Denise and the fab five for spinning class." "Classic move, Michael." "Pretend to be friends and slip in there and put the moves on them." "Men." "So did you have fun last night, Keith Richards?" "I would really rather not make eye contact with you." "Are you embarrassed?" "You got drunk." "What's the big deal?" "It's not the drinking." "It's all that stuff that I told you about my marriage..." "... andaboutmy sexualsecret." "Yeah, I gotta ask." "Noah Wyle?" "I mean, really." "I could see Clooney or Eriq LaSalle..." "... oreventhatnew Indianchick." "Come on, you little weirdo." "We just started getting comfortable around each other." "How about this?" "I'll tell you my sexual secret, and we'll be even." "You don't get embarrassed." "Nothing you'd tell me would make this even." "I got embarrassed last night..." "... whena girlfeltmybreast at a restaurant." "I forgot about that." "It was so nice of you to come with me to get my hair dyed." "Are you kidding?" "Three hours in a hair salon?" "Fun." "Well if I didn't do it, I'd be completely gray." "So you wanna watch some TV?" "Sure." "Okay." "Kitty needs some attention." "Rub my tummy." "Nice kitty." "Oh, hey, I've been meaning to ask you something." "Feel free to say no, but my parents are throwing this big party..." "... for my little sister's 40th birthday." "And my whole family's gonna be there." "And if you could come, it would mean the world to me." "Oh, maybe." "Yeah." "By the way, how's my article coming?" "Oh, haven't had time to finish it yet." "I've been a bad little kitty." "When does kitty expect to have it completed?" "Oh, well, haven't had time to work on it because of us..." "... soI gotan extension." "I'll hand it in next month." "Next month?" "I want you to come to this party..." "... so I'm gonna call my parents and tell them." "I wanna make sure you get the bunk in my brother's room." "The party's an overnight thing?" "Well, of course, silly, we're not gonna go to Canada for one day." "canada?" "Well, I can't do that." "My passport is gone." "Yeah, this bird came in and:" "And I was like:" "You don't wanna meet my family." "I do wanna meet your family..." "... butthisdamnbird...." "You're lying." "You don't think I can tell when you're lying?" "Jo Jo Dancer, it's me, Ju Ju Bean." "I've never heard either of those nicknames before." "Look, as much as I want to meet your family..." "... maybeweshouldslowthingsdown." "What?" "I'm sorry, it's just" "I can't believe this is happening." "I feel like I don't know you." "You're not the nice guy I thought you were." "Ju Ju Bean." "I can't stay here, I'm too upset." "And when I'm upset, I work." "I'm gonna go finish my article." "I hate you, Joey Tribbiani." "Oh, no, no." "Don't go!" "Don't go!" "Don't go." "Maybe there's something I could do to make this okay." "What?" "Oh, Joey, my whole family loves you." "Well, Nana and Pop-Pop, obviously." "You were a good sport about wrestling cousin Hank in the yard." "I do wish he'd had a shirt on." "Would you just leave me alone for a little while?" "No." "I am here to even things out." "But you don't have any embarrassing secrets." "Just watch." "Oh, my God." "Shut up and watch." "Gina Tribbiani tap dances." "Since when?" "Since junior high." "I followed this super hot guy into a dance studio." "Shockingly, he turned out to be gay." "But I found a far greater love." "Tap." "So now we're even." "You keep my secret, I keep yours." "Yes, we're even." "You know, in college, I took a dance class for a semester, jazz." "I was actually quite good." "I just did a little, you know:" "You know, for one second we were even." "Now I'm gonna have to think of something else." "I can't believe you're visiting my family." "We've only been together a week." "At this rate, imagine where we could be in a month." "When you get married, will it be here..." "... oristhereaLutheranchurch in California?" "Sorry." "It's just very important to my family..." "... that I'm only serious with people within our faith." "Well, I'm not Lutheran." "Oh, don't worry." "As long as we raise our kids as christians, that's all I care about." "If I wasn't, would that be a problem?" "Well I'd hate to say it, but it'd be a deal breaker." "Judy, I'm Jewish." "What?" "What a terrible misunderstanding." "This is heartbreaking." "But let us not say goodbye, okay." "Let us just say..." "... shalom." "Here it is." ""Joey Tribbiani isn't just a bright new face in Hollywood." "He's also as nice a guy off camera as he is on." Hey." ""And a deeply religious man with a great commitment to his Jewish faith." "Joey is searching for that special someone..." "... so Jewish girls, if you're looking for an eligible bachelor..." "... Joey Tribbiani is looking for you."" "That may explain this." "You have 268 new messages." "Subtitles by SDI Media Group" "[ENGLISH]"