"Previously on Terriers..." "Hank:" "I'm Hank Dolworth and this is my partner Britt Pollack." "We're private investigators." "Mark:" "How long you and Hank been partners?" "Britt:" "Couple Years." "Mark:" "I know what you were involved with before he came around?" "You got to know, he is gonna let you down." "Hank:" "Are you getting married again?" "Gretchen:" "Yeah." "Hank:" "Congratulations, Gretch." "That's... that's great." "That is..." "I'm really happy for you." "Gretchen:" "Odd seeing this place empty." "Hank:" "Just like it was when we first moved in." "She's selling our old place, and I'm the one who's buying it." "Gretchen:" "What about the loan?" "You need proof of a loan to close escrow." "Hank:" "I'm working on it." "This is called a shawl collar." "Very elegant." "Jason:" "This makes me feel like Hugh Hefner." "(man chuckles)" "Uh, let me try the other one." "Sure." "Jason:" "Now, this is more like it." "Great." "What next?" "That depends." "Did you want to wear a pair of trousers to your wedding?" "Jason:" "I think I would." "Follow me." "Jason:" "Okay." "Sorry about that." "Britt:" "I am so sorry." "Excuse me." "My fault." "(seagulls cawing in distance)" "Here's his wallet." "Guy was buying a tuxedo." "Hank:" "What?" "Britt:" "What I said..." "he was buying a tuxedo." "I didn't know people did that." "I thought they just rented them." "What's Maggie want with this guy, anyway?" "Hank:" "You know, she didn't really say." "It was just kind of like standard background check stuff." "You know, I didn't really get into the whys and wherefores of it." "All right, great." "Go for it." "Britt:" "Can I get you anything while I'm in there?" "New ascot?" "Plaid jammies?" "Hank:" "You know, my sock garters are beginning to sag." "Britt:" "Yeah, I didn't want to say anything." "Hank:" "Thanks." "Jason:" "Hey, isn't it bad luck for you to see me in my wedding dress?" "Gretchen:" "Only if you see me, silly." "You pick out a jacket already?" "Jason:" "Mm." "(kissing sound)" "Need one more of those." "(Gretchen chuckles)" "Hank:" "Hey, man, you want to go grab something to eat?" "I t an hour before I have to do the, uh, thing at the thing." "Britt:" "Sure." "Man." "(whistles)" "(chuckles)" "Hank:" "What?" "Britt:" "Nothing." "Just this, well, this guy buying the tux." "Hank:" "What?" "Britt:" "Unbelievable." "Hank:" "Why?" "Britt:" "When I went back to replace his wallet, caught him in the dressing room with his pants down." "God, man." "I mean, I've seen some porn in my day, but nothing like what this guy had." "I mean, down to his knees practically." "Hank:" "Are you sure it was the same guy?" "Britt:" "Oh, yeah." "Positive." "And the funny thing is, I saw it half mast." "I can't imagine what it looks like rigid." "His girlfriend probably hits her head on the ceiling trying to climb on top of that thing." "And we're not even talking about girth yet." "I mean, you could screen a movie on that python." "That guy probably ruins women." "God bless him." "Hank:" "Can we talk about something else?" "Britt:" "Okay." "Like maybe how you sent me to go commit felony robbery, pickpocketing your ex-wife's fiancé." "Hank:" "I'm sorry." "I made a mistake." "I was wrong." "I feel badly." "It won't happen again." "Britt:" "Those are my lines." "You know, I don't mind doing what I did." "Hell, I get off on it." "What I mind is you lying to me about why I was doing it." "Jesus, dude, you make me sound like a girl." "What the hell is going on with you, anyway?" "!" "First you buy Gretchen's house." "No, wait, wait, wait." "We buy Gretchen's house." "Half of that 20 grand was mine, which you took without asking." "Now you're running a background check on her new dude?" "Scale of nine to ten, how bat-shit nuts are you right now?" "Hank:" "Look, I'm just looking out for Gretchen, okay?" "I don't know this guy." "She doesn't know him." "She met him six months ago on the Internet." "I'm just trying to make sure she does the right thing." "Britt:" "By stealing his wallet?" "Okay, yeah, that makes sense." "Hank:" "Look, it was wrong, okay?" "I can't say I'm sorry enough." "And thank you again for your half of the deposit." "When I get my loan, I'm gonna pay you back with interest." "Britt:" "What if you can't get one?" "How many banks turned you down so far, three?" "Hank:" "I'll get it." "Britt:" "Yeah, but what happens if you can't?" "Hank:" "We forfeit our deposit." "(Britt sighs)" ""Terriers:" "S01E03" "Change Partners" Original Air date 22 September, 2010" "It says here you worked for the Ocean Beach" "Police Department for nine years?" "Hank:" "That's right." "But you retired one year before you were eligible to receive a pension." "Why was that?" "Hank:" "I left the force for, uh, personal reasons mostly." "And, well... personal reasons." "Th..." "There's still a lot of people, uh, down there that you can call for references." "And I've been doing P.I. Work ever since then." "Without a license, I see." "Hank:" "That's mostly a privacy thing, you know." "I mean, once you get a license, the state is kind of looking into everything you do." "Checking up on you, getting into your records." "Much like a mortgage company might." "Excuse me." "Mr. Dolworth?" "Hank:" "Mm-hmm." "Armand Foster, vice president." "I'm sorry about your loan application, but, you know, in the current economic climate, we just can't justify..." "Hank:" "Ah, you guys aren't the first people to turn me down." "I know the song and dance." "Armand:" "Right." "Well, regardless, I was wondering if I might importune you for a few minutes." "Hank:" "Why?" "I heard you the first time." "You want to tell me no twice?" "(Armand chuckles)" "I was overhearing the discussion about your application and picked up that you're a private Detective." "Sounds like interesting work." "What kind of cases do you take on?" "Hank:" "You're allowed to do that in here?" "Armand:" "I'm the son of the president;" "I can do what the hell I want." "Do you want one?" "Hank:" "No." "Uh..." "My partner and I do a number of things." "We recover lost property, locate people, private security." "We'll jump down, turn around, pick a bale of cotton, you pay us enough." "(Armand laughs)" "Armand:" "Um, do you ever handle domestic cases?" "Marital infidelities, things like that?" "Hank:" "Happens to be one of our specialties." "Armand:" "Like you to follow someone for me." "Maybe we can help each other." "Got your name in the paper, kid." "Britt:" "What?" ""Police were alerted to the existence of the sex tape by"" "Henry Dolworth and Britt Pollack..." "self-described private investigators" ""in Ocean Beach."" "What the hell does that mean, "self-described"?" "Means you're only that thing 'cause you say you're that thing." "Can I pour you yet?" "Britt:" "Whoa, whoa, no." "(sighs)" "I promised my girl I wouldn't touch hard alcohol during work hours." "Three, two... boom." "Let her rip." "(sports playing over TV)" "That's the spirit." "Boom!" "All right, people, shirts off!" "Let's talk about our childhood." "(man laughs)" "All right, you know what this is!" "Everybody walks if nobody talks!" "I want to see money clips, I want to see wallets on the bar right in front of you." "You know the drill." "What are you doing?" "You... you don't pick it up, you make the guy pick it up." "Come on, let's go!" "Get down, get down." "What are you looking at, dude?" "Get behind the register." "Pull the landline while you're there." "Hey, buddy." "Long time no see." "How you doing?" "Hey, Gilligan, you done with that yet?" "!" "Yeah." "Let's get it going." "Ladies and gentlemen, thank you." "You've all been very cooperative." "I'll see you around." "Hank:" "Whoo, I got us a job while I was gone." "What the hell'd you do?" "Britt:" "I got robbed." "So what's this guy's story?" "Why does he think his wife's cheating on him?" "Hank:" "He didn't say." "He just said that he thought she was, and he wants pictures to prove it." "Britt:" "Guy looks like a douche." "Hank:" "That he is." "Britt:" "But we're getting paid for this, right?" "Hank:" "We'll. 100 bucks a day." "Britt:" "That's it?" "Hank:" "But he also said if we provide definitive results, we get our home loan." "Britt:" "Pull the truck over." "Hank:" "What?" "Britt:" "Pull over." "Hank:" "Why?" "Britt:" "You know, first you take my money, now you want me to tail a woman for weeks so that you can possibly pay me back someday?" "Hank:" "Look at it as insurance that you'll get your money back." "Oh, come on, you're not gonna work this thing with me?" "!" "Britt:" "I got to go home and cancel my credit cards." "Hank:" "You don't have credit cards!" "Britt:" "Then I got to go home and cancel my library cards!" "You know, at least the guys that robbed me today had the decency to put a gun in my face." "I don't have any cash on me." "Loan me a couple bucks for the bus." "Hank:" "Come on, at least let me give you a ride!" "Katie:" "Hey, you're not answering your phone." "I've been trying to reach you." "Britt:" "Ah, I got a story about that." "What's up?" "Katie:" "Uh, your friend's here." "Britt:" "Hank?" "I just left him." "Katie:" "No, um..." "I'm sorry, I totally spaced your name." "That's all right." "It's... it's Ray." "As in "of sunshine."" "Hey, I was in your neighborhood;" "I thought I'd swing by." "I'm not, I'm not crashing date night or anything, am I?" "Britt:" "No, actually, it's fight night." "It's good you're here." "Katie:" "Ray was telling me how you guys worked together at" "Casa Verde." "Ray:" "You remember our, um, glorious dishwashing days?" "Katie:" "Hey, you want another beer, Ray?" "Honey, you want one?" "Britt:" "No, I'm good." "Ray:" "I would love one." "Yes, thank you, Katie." "(sighs)" "Britt:" "How the hell'd you find me so fast?" "Ray:" "How the hell you think?" "Britt:" "Had $40 in here." "Ray:" "Yeah, I know you did." "Nice digs, by the way." "In fact, this is the nicest place that I've been in since I got out." "Oh, and y... your girl let me know that she made enough dinner for three." "So, um, you don't mind me staying?" "Britt:" "Long as you're not packing." "Ray:" "I left my piece in the car." "I'm a Dick, but I'm not an asshole." "Get out of here." "You're a P.I.?" "Come on." "Britt:" "What the paper says today." "Ray:" "The hell did that happen?" "Britt:" "About two years ago, I was, um, trying to Jimmy my way into this taco joint after hours." "You all done with that, babe?" "Katie:" "Yeah, thanks." "Britt:" "And Hanks Dolworth, used to be a cop." "But instead of calling 911, took me out for waffles." "We've been gumshoeing together ever since." "Ray:" "And obviously you know what he used to do." "Katie:" "Oh, man." "I know he never was a dishwasher." "Can't clean a plate to save his life." "Britt:" "Hey!" "Katie:" "Nah, I know he used to be a thief." "Britt:" "She knows all about it, man, the B and E's, the smash and grabs, everything." "Katie:" "Yeah, well, I know everything except who he did it with." "I mean, 'cause that would break the code." "Ray:" "And you're cool with it?" "Katie:" "Mm." "Shit, I used to hook." "Britt:" "She's joking, man." "Katie:" "Yeah, I'm cool with it." "What am I supposed to be, pissed?" "It's the past." "You know, just so long as he never, ever, ever, ever, ever does it again." "Britt:" "Ever, ever, ever." "Love, man." "It'll screw your shit up." "(camera shutter snaps)" "(door opens, then closes)" "Excuse me, sir?" "D..." "Do you have another five?" "The machine won't take mine." "Hank:" "Um... uh, let me check." "These machines drive me nuts." "Makes you long for the days of the living, breathing garage attendant." "Hank:" "It's, uh, modern technology making man obsolete." "Happened to my old job." "What did you do?" "Hank:" "I was a microwave oven." "(chuckles)" "Hey, it worked." "Thank you." "Hank:" "You're welcome." "Ray:" "You used to be a wild man." "Do you miss it at all?" "Knocking around?" "'Cause I got to tell you, the chuckleheads I'm rolling with now, they don't have anything like the skills that you have." "Britt:" "No, man." "I mean, it's like, uh, baseball." "Comes a day you got to hang up your hat, you realize you're never going to go pro, you know." "Ray:" "For sure." "'Cause I got this new thing right now that could be really" "Could be really good cash for you." "Britt:" "No, man." "I'm retired." "Ray:" "Right, yeah." "(sobbing)" "Hank:" "Great news." "Followed your wife all night." "There's no evidence of her being unfaithful." "She went out and had a glass of wine... alone... talked to no one, and then went right straight home to you." "She's a really attractive woman, by the way." "You're, uh, quite a lucky man." "I'm sorry." "Is something wrong?" "Armand:" "I send you out on a simple task to get one photograph of my wife with another man, and you... you can't even do that." "What a useless son of a bitch, waste of space." "Hank:" "Wait, I don't follow." "Do you... were you hoping for evidence that she was having..." "Armand:" "That's none of your concern, now, is it, Mr. Dolworth?" "I know for a fact that my wife had an affair last night with another man, yet somehow, you missed that!" "Thanks for nothing." "Here's $100 compensation." "Hank:" "What about my loan?" "(laughs)" "Armand:" "Why would I approve a loan to someone so flagrantly inadequate at their profession?" "I agreed to approve your loan if you obtained definitive evidence of my wife's adultery, which you failed to do!" "Show yourself out, please." "Hank:" "Okay." "Hold on, Mr. Foster." "Maybe you're right." "Maybe I missed something." "Let me stay on the case for a few more days." "If she slips, I'll catch her." "I omise." "Let me just keep looking." "Britt:" "Figured a 100 bucks is more than what I'm gonna make in a couch all day." "Hank:" "Yeah." "What's wrong?" "Hank:" "This thing's a lot more complicated than I thought." "(camera shutter snapping)" "(Britt yawns)" "Britt:" "She's going places to pick up dudes." "She's just not picking up any." "Hank:" "I had another senior moment yesterday." "Did I tell you that?" "Britt:" "What?" "Hank:" "I found this box of CDs put away on a shelf that I don't remember putting away." "Yeah, Scoff." "and you are gonna pull up to the house you lived in 12 years ago." "Britt:" "I'm going to drive back to Laughlin?" "Hank:" "What are you looking for?" "Britt:" "Pee bottle." "Hank:" "Ah, dude, I threw that away." "Britt:" "What?" "Why?" "Hank:" "Why?" "'Cause it was a bottle full of piss in my car." "Britt:" "You're supposed to dump it out, not throw it out." "Where am I supposed to pee?" "Hank:" "In a fountain or something." "Oh, look, there she goes." "Come on." "(engine starts)" "Ray:" "Hey, pretty lady." "Katie:" "Ray." "What are you doing here?" "Ray:" "Oh, you mentioned you took classes here." "I thought I'd come out and check it out." "Katie:" "Are you thinking about becoming a vet?" "Ray:" "No." "But I'm, um..." "I'm thinking about a vet." "Katie:" "Ray, I..." "I live with Britt, your old pal." "Remember him?" "Ray:" "Sure, the guy whose balls you cut off." "You have them hanging in your rearview mirror." "Nice job, by the way." "So, um, how'd you guys meet?" "Katie:" "At a bar." "Where I was working." "He was drinking." "Why?" "Ray:" "I can tell you a story." "Do me a favor." "Tell your boy to grow a pair and give me a ring." "I don't have all day for him to make up his mind." "Hank:" "Hey, coffee house." "Britt:" "Okay." "How do I find you when I'm done?" "Hank:" "I'll call you." "Britt:" "Someone stole my cell!" "Hank:" "Just go already." "And get me a small drip while you're at it." "Britt:" "Whatever!" "(cell phone buzzing)" "Hank:" "Gretchen Dolworth and Associates." "Gretchen:" "I'm calling you." "Hank:" "Okay, well, I can call back, then." "Gretchen:" "Stop talking." "I need you." "Little problem I'm not sure what to do about." "What you would call in your trade a sensitive matter." "Can I steal you for a half an hour?" "Hank:" "Yeah, yeah." "Uh, right now is really rotten, though can't it wait until night?" "Gretchen:" "Yeah, I'll see you at your place." "I've your address somewhere." "(birds chirping)" "Stop following me!" "Oh, my God, you're that guy." "Hank:" "Can I ask you a question?" "Please, just..." "Leave me alone!" "(Hank screaming)" "Leave me alone!" "Hank:" "Oh, geez!" "Your husband... hired me." "Oh, that stings!" "Oh, my God." "Britt:" "Are you okay?" "Hank:" "Holy sh..." "No, dude, this is not good." "Oh!" "(Hank groaning)" "Oh, I'm sorry." "I am so sorry." "Is that any better?" "Hank:" "Oh, God, you're fast with that thing." "What was it, pepper spray?" "Mace..." "Armand bought it a few Christmases ago." "I..." "I'm sorry I was so trigger-happy." "What can I do to make it up to you?" "Hank:" "Well, you can start by telling us why he's so convinced you're cheating on him." "Whew!" "Because I tell him I am." "Britt:" "Why would you do that?" "Because he asks me to." "Hank:" "What is he, some kind of masochist?" "Diagnostically, yes." "He got it into his head to know what it felt to be cuckolded." "He demanded that I have an affair with another man and regale him with the details, leaving nothing out, and I acquiesced just for once." "Unfortunately, the rush of humiliation is euphoric for Armand." "He insisted that I do it again and again, and I have been faking the affair since that time." "Hank:" "So, you're deceiving him about deceiving him." "And very successfully, I would boast, until you two came along and blew a hole in my story." "Britt:" "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." "Wait." "You're saying that your husband gets off hearing about you making it with other dude, Has he heard it from God." "Oh, it doesn't really." "There are times when he is as loving and sane as any man I've ever met, which is why I go through with it all." "Britt:" "Listen, I'm sorry." "No offense, lady, but you kind of sound like a shrink." "That's because I was." "That's how I met my husband." "I fell in love with my patient." "I quit my practice, and..." "that's my psychosis." "Chronic caregiving." "You can see how the marriage would work, huh?" "Maybe I'm the crazy one, but you know the old quote: "We all go a little mad sometimes."" "Britt:" "Who said that, Freud?" "Hank:" "Norman Bates." "(cell phone buzzing)" "Britt:" "Oh, it's Katie." "Hey, baby." "Hank:" "Can I ask you a personal question?" "I should think so, after that confession." "Hank:" "Why stay in the marriage if you have to do what you do to keep it alive?" "Because I love my husband, Mr..." "." "Hank:" "Dolworth, Hank." "And I love booze, but I know if I drink it, it'll kill me." "Maybe I'm a little bit like my husband." "Maybe I thrive on pain." "Isn't that part of the allure of love?" "You let someone in you know will hurt you and make you feel alive." "Britt:" "No, no, no, no, no!" "I'm..." "I'm coming there." "Hank, I need the truck now." "Hank:" "Okay." "Britt:" "Baby, are you okay?" "What happened?" "Katie:" "That was there when I walked in." "Britt:" "What the hell?" "Katie:" "There's no one here." "I've checked." "Britt:" "Did you check everywhere?" "Katie:" "Yes, Britt, I've checked." "Why would Ray come see me like that?" "Britt: 'Cause he wants me to come work with him again." "Katie:" "He asked how we met." "Why would he ask that?" "Britt:" "He's trying to appeal to the part of me that doesn't stop to think, and you bet your ass I'm going to kill him when I find him." "Just a few more steps, okay?" "I'm taking you to the couch." "Hank:" "I'm good, I'm good." "Just, uh, be careful of that box down there." "Which box?" "Hank:" "Oh, there... wow." "There was one right there." "Do you need anything?" "So, this is why you were following me." "It's charming." "I adore what you're doing with the wall." "Hank:" "There's still a hole in there, right?" "I'm not that senile yet." "So, now what?" "Now I go home to my husband and confess my fidelity, as it were." "I could try and persuade him to grant you the loan if you'd like, but I very much doubt he'll ever trust me about anything again." "Hank:" "How do you think he's going to react?" "I don't know." "Hank:" "Are you scared?" "Yes." "Hank:" "Have you considered not confessing?" "I thought it was too late for that." "Hank:" "Not if I tell them the tale." "It would save your marriage and me my home." "Well, that sounds preferable." "What do I have to do?" "Hank:" "Get laid." "Britt:" "So what do you think?" "It's appropriately utilitarian." "I think it's clean." "Britt:" "I hope so." "I had my honeymoon here." "Not really?" "Britt:" "No, not really." "Okay, this is your date, What happened to your landlord?" "Couldn't make it?" "Britt:" "I'll explain later." "(camera shutter clicks)" "(camera shutter clicks)" "Hank:" "Come on, smile, man!" "No, real." "(camera shutter clicks)" "Good." "Good." "(camera shutter clicks)" "Hank:" "Cheer up, brother." "You are about to get lucky." "Britt:" "Hey, I need to talk to you." "There's this guy I used to know who's threatened to tell Katie something." "Something I don't want her to know." "Hank:" "Why not?" "Britt:" "Well, I..." "Because it's true." "I..." "I ju..." "I just..." "I can't..." "figure out how to get this guy to piss off." "Hank:" "My advice to you:" "Tell it before he can." "They always find out anyway." "Hey, what's this guy got on you?" "(door opening)" "Katie:" "Guys, eyes on faces." "Hello again." "Britt:" "Howdy." "Hank:" "Okay, I might go outside and shoot through the window, so whenever you're comfortable, you two just, uh... go ahead." "Um, Katie?" "Katie:" "Oh, uh..." "I'm going to stay in here and-and direct." "Yeah, Britt likes it when I give direction." "I would hope so." "(receding footsteps)" "Hank:" "All right." "♪ ♪" "Katie:" "Oh, this is going to make one hell of a Christmas card. (sighs)" "♪ ♪" "(camera shutter clicks)" "♪ ♪" "(camera shutter clicking)" "Armand:" "This man she's with, what can you tell me about him?" "Britt:" "He was waiting for her when she got there." "I assume it wasn't their first time together." "Armand:" "Where was this?" "Hank:" "Some fleebag flophouse on Channel Road." "I spoke to the manager." "He told me your wife had been a regular there the last few months." "You would help me with..." "Armand:" "Yes, um..." "I've been going over your loan application, and I think we can accommodate you, Mr. Dolworth." "I'll get papers started... you come by here tomorrow morning," "I'll have them ready to be..." "signed." "Hank:" "Pleasure doing business with you, sir." "(Britt speaking Spanish)" "Britt:" "You guys gonna be okay here?" "Katie:" "Yeah, of course." "TV works, bed vibrates." "We'll be great." "Britt:" "All right." "I'll be back in a couple of hours." "(dog snorts quietly)" "(doorbell rings twice)" "Hank:" "Hey, good-lookin'!" "Gretchen:" "Hey." "Is this a good time?" "Hank:" "Yeah, sure, come on..." "come in." "Gretchen:" "Uh, Jason, this is Hank Dolworth." "Hank, Jason Adler." "Jason:" "Nice to meet you finally." "Hank:" "Uh, likewise, yeah." "Wow." "Uh, hey, this is a..." "surprise." "Gretchen:" "Yeah." "Well, um, the problem I mentioned earlier sort of concerns him." "Oh, um, we brought you a house-warming gift." "A new bath mat." "I noticed the old one was getting a little gross." "Hank:" "Fantastic." "Jason:" "We got some, uh..." "Gretchen:" "Takeout." "Didn't know if you'd eaten yet." "Hank:" "I hadn't." "So this is good." "Let's, uh, go into the kitchen, and I'll try and scare up some plates." "(hip-hop music playing over stereo)" "(engine turns off, music stops)" "Britt:" "Mr. Sunshine himself." "So, uh, how pissed are you?" "Britt:" "How pissed do you think?" "Beer?" "So I'm thinking sorry's not gonna cut it." "Look, I needed to get your attention, and making with the" ""please" and "pretty please"" "wasn't really working." "Britt:" "You broke in my house." "You visited my girl at her school." "What were you gonna do next to get my attention, take a shit on my pillow?" "She might dig that." "Was she full of questions?" "Britt:" "We had a huge fight 'cause of you." "Why does he keep asking me how we met?" "Look, if you just ignore her for, like, a week, then you take her out to a nice dinner, maybe you go down on her a little bit, she'll be so grateful, she'll never ask another question." "Now, let's talk about the future." "(creaking)" "Hank:" "Oh, uh, the house does that sometimes." "Jason:" "No, I know, I've..." "I took a look once, and, um, unfortunately, there's not a lot you can do about it short of tearing the roof down." "Hank:" "So, uh, Gretch tells me that's what you, uh, you do." "You're an architect?" "Jason:" "Yep." "It's, uh, fun, but once it becomes what you do for a living, then it's..." "it's what you do for a living, so..." "Hank:" "I know that beat." "Gretchen:" "I hate to spoil the party, but we did come here for a reason." "Besides the Thai food and the bath mat." "Jason:" "Right." "Uh, Hank, I have a weird problem." "Someone keeps screwing with my credit, and I don't know how." "Hank:" "Really?" "Jason:" "Yeah, last couple of days, there have been charges on my card, things like professional escorts and skeezy motel rooms." "I mean, no biggie, I froze my card." "But then today, I get pulled over by a cop, and for some reason, my driver's license has been revoked." "Hank:" "That is weird." "Jason:" "Yeah." "So, anyway, Gretchen thought... that you could help." "I mean, my wallet hasn't been stolen; it's just they seem to have all my info." "I would pay you, of course." "Hank:" "Hey..." "I'll look into it." "A buddy of mine patrols this gated community." "He knows exactly who's home and who's away on any given night." "Plus, who makes a better lookout than a security guard?" "What do you think?" "Britt:" "I think my girl would kill me if she knew." "I also think I could use the money." "My partner of late has been douching me, so..." "Whatever, man." "I'm good at this;" "let's do it." "When does it happen?" "This Friday." "Dark of the moon." "What's this shit?" "Britt:" "It's my piece." "Yeah, I know it's your piece..." "it's been bulging out all night." "What'd you bring it for?" "You never used to carry heat." "Britt:" "And neither did you." "Here's the question, why'd you bring a piece?" "Britt:" "I brought it so I could cap your ass and my girl don't find out dirty, ugly secrets about me." "(chuckles)" "You know, I was wrong." "Your girl didn't completely De-ball you." "But next time..." "you might want to put some bullets in it." "It works better that way." "Britt:" "Whatever you say, boss." "(frustrated groan)" "Hank:" "Oh, great, what'd you forget now, Gretch, huh?" "My last shred of human dignity?" "Hi." "I, uh..." "just wanted to thank you." "You saved my marriage." "Hank:" "Why does that sound like it's not a good thing?" "I'm sorry, you have people for dinner?" "Hank:" "Oh, no, no." "They're gone." "Just, uh..." "just my ex and her, uh, fiancé." "And that's not awkward?" "Hank:" "Only brutally." "(chuckles):" "I see." "(Hank chuckles)" "Hank:" "So what happened?" "I recounted our afternoon to Armand as we planned." "And his suspicions are abated." "Hank:" "But?" "Next time..." "he wants to watch." "Hank:" "I'm sorry, Mrs. Foster, and I hope you don't mind me saying this, but your husband is a creep." "And I don't care if the man's sick..." "because the man is sick." "I love him..." "and he's killing me." "I feel paralyzed." "Knowing I should move on and..." "unwilling to give up hope." "Hank:" "I know that feeling." "You strike me as a very sweet man." "Hank:" "I'm glad somebody thinks so." "Very sweet." "And very broken." "(birds chirping)" "(chuckles softly)" "Hank:" "Thanks for cleaning up." "Hey, Phil." "Phil:" "What'll it be?" "Hank:" "How about a plate of eggs and a Tab, please?" "Phil:" "They don't make Tab anymore." "Hank:" "Don't I know it." "How about a Coke?" "(phone rings)" "Yep?" "Yeah, I'm here." "Well, sooner rather than later." "I gotta get out by 10:00." "All right, later, Britt." "Phil:" "Where's Britt today?" "Hank:" "He's, uh, elsewhere." "Holdup, everybody!" "You remember the drill!" "Let's go!" "Wallets, cell phones on the bar!" "Pockets inside out!" "Come on!" "Phil:" "Come on!" "You already hit us this week!" "Shut it, droopy dog." "Open the register!" "Hank:" "This the guy that got you Tuesday?" "Come on, pal, even Jesus..." "Shut up!" "Hank:" "Get out, man!" "Phil:" "Geez, Hank, you could've been killed." "Hank:" "No, that guy was amateur hour." "You gonna call 911?" "I got his prints right here." "(knocking)" "Britt:" "It's me, baby, open up!" "We're all good, baby." "Ray's going back to prison." "Katie:" "What'd you do?" "Britt:" "Robbed a bar. (growls)" "Hank:" "Mr. Foster, hi." "Armand:" "Mr. Dolworth." "Hank:" "You said, uh, you'd have my papers ready this morning?" "Armand:" "I did." "They're right there." "Hank:" "So, we just sign these, and that's that?" "Armand:" "You may, I won't." "But I prefer you shove them up your ass." "You lied to me, Mr. Dolworth." "Late last night as I was waiting for my wife to return from her assignation, I did due diligence on your loan application." "In other words, I Googled you." "It's funny, the print edition didn't include a photo." "Hank:" "It's hysterical." "I hate that picture." "Armand:" "What a coincidence to find out that my wife's lover should be your partner." "I confronted Miriam, and she confessed the whole thing was a ruse designed by the both of you to bilk me." "Apologies, Mr. Dolworth." "Here at Foster  Son Mortgage Brokerage..." "our policy forbids lending to frauds." "Hank:" "Did you hurt her?" "Armand:" "I'm a masochist, not a sadist." "I told her what I'll tell you:" "Get out." "Hank:" "So you're leaving her." "Armand:" "What part of "There's the door" needs repeating?" "Hank:" "Mr. Foster, we had a deal." "You said if I could provide definitive proof of your wife's infidelity, you'd approve my home loan, correct?" "Armand:" "You failed." "Cheated." "Good-bye." "Hank:" "Is that correct?" "Armand:" "Yes." "Hank:" "Go ahead and smell my finger." "You recognize that scent?" "You should." "How about this, huh?" "This handwriting?" "Is that familiar to you?" "Or this tidbit:" "Miriam?" "She has a mole an inch below her ass on her upper thigh." "And she's waxed, and she keeps it in a tight rectangle." "And when she comes, she laughs like a ten-year-old." "And she laughed a lot's infidel?" "Well, here's a first-person testimonial, man:" "I banged the shit out of your wife three times last night!" "So why don't you go ahead and sign my goddamn loan doc?" "(Armand chuckles)" "Armand:" "This concludes our business, Mr. Dolworth." "Please know that once you go through that door, I never want to lay eyes on you again." "Hank:" "Shit!" "Looks like you're gonna have to lay eyes on me again." "You forgot to sign the title insurance policy page." "(distant street traffic noise)" "(breathing heavily)" "(sirens approaching)" "Katie:" "Go on." "Yeah, it's good to be home." "Britt:" "Katie, I need to tell you something." "Katie:" "Oh, no, you don't." "Britt:" "No, I do." "It's, um... it's about the night we met..." "in the bar." "Katie:" "Really?" "You don't have to say anything." "Britt:" "It wasn't the first time I saw you." "Katie:" "No?" "Britt:" "I mean, it was the first time I saw you, but I had, uh, seen pictures" "Katie: (sighs)" "Oh, boy." "Britt:" "Remember how the week before your apartment got busted into and someone stole your CD player and your TV?" "Katie:" "It was you." "Britt:" "And Ray." "Ray took the stuff." "I..." "I just, uh... yeah." "I'm..." "I'm sorry." "Katie:" "So you just, you just happened to walk into my bar the next week?" "Britt:" "I saw your pictures." "Thought you were cute." "I..." "I went through your stuff, and, uh..." "I found a paste-up for the tavern." "I thought I'd stop by." "The important thing to remember is that... is that this is the last place that I robbed." "(Katie sighs)" "From the minute I met you, I stopped doing..." "Katie:" "This is a..." "It's a violation." "I mean, I..." "I forgive you for what you've done, but you lied to me." "Like, ever since we met, you lie?" "Britt:" "I haven't, I haven't been telling you the truth." "Katie:" "Don't say anything." "Britt:" "Katie, I..." "Katie:" "Don't say anything!" "Just get out!" "When you get outside, wait five minutes for me to get undressed." "Break in through the bedroom." "I'll be waiting." "Britt:" "What...?" "Katie:" "Not a word!" "(barks)" "Don't touch me." "(knocking)" "(Miriam sniffles)" "Miriam:" "You heard?" "Hank:" "I did." "And I'm, I'm sorry." "Miriam:" "Thank you." "Um..." "I..." "I shouldn't linger." "There are people here, and there's so many things to do." "Hank:" "I know." "I just wanted to come by and say I'm sorry, and, uh, that you shouldn't blame yourself." "Miriam:" "Oh, yes, I should." "I drove him to this." "Hank:" "No, you didn't." "He realized I lied this morning, and I told him everything, and..." "he knew that I'd been lying to him for months." "Hank:" "I know." "I..." "I saw him earlier today." "Miriam:" "What did you say to him?" "Hank:" "I needed the loan, Miriam." "(keys clank on table)" "(playing bluesy riffs)"