"The world was not round, not from where I stood watching the sun wither into the shadows." "It left me knee deep in the winter water." "I used to be comfortable in the dark listening to the wind scream and howl snapping branches off family trees casting them down stream into the mouth of the Mississippi into the heart of what I call home." "What if she doesn't like me?" "It don't matter if she's likes you, man." "She loves me." "She would do it if I ask her to." "Besides, you're my little brother." "Wherever I go you go." "Okay?" " Okay?" " Yes, sir." "All right." "Don't call me sir, faggot." "Fuck you." "What if I don't like her?" "I thought you said you liked her." "What if she doesn't like me, or what if I change my mind?" "No, no, no." "No, man." "It's easy." "Once you're inside, all you got to do is pump like this." "Look." "Check it." " Don't laugh at me." " No, man." "No, no, no." "Look." "It's like this, okay." "Boom." "You start with the titties." " Okay." " Start with the titties first." "Okay?" "And you work your way down." "How you doing?" "Over there." "Okay." "Then you go." "Yeah." "Then you turn and you go, boom." "Boom." " I'm going to butter your biscuits, bitch." " Oh, yeah." "Hey, Nana!" "Hey, Nana!" "Hey, Nana!" "Hey." "What the fuck are you yelling for?" "You're trying to wake up my mother?" "Well, shit, we ain't got all day." "Hey, Asher." "The world is warped." "My brother, Chester, he taught me that." "Chester said love is for the weak." "I disagree." "I think he's dead wrong." "Don't you think it's a little weird with your brother watching?" "Look, buddy, I'm going in with her." "You just look through the window and you take notes." "Okay?" "Goddamn it." "It's fucking cold." "You're my foot soldier." "Remember?" "Yeah." "Keep an eye out for any trouble, man." "'Cause I seen it with my own eyes." "Just as clears as I see a slug slither from one wall to another it's like being sucked into the bottom of a bottomless pit only to be spat out again." "She saw my silhouette my shadow behind the glass." "Nothing more than a smudge of a boy in the dark." "I smell blood and rain and mud but I hear nothing." "My father's fingers ripped me out of the ground like something rotten." "My ears rang out like the whole world was screaming at once." "God, wait." "Wait." "Wait." "Wait..." "Why you fucking cheating on me, girl?" "With my son?" "I'll fucking kill you!" "This is my father's way of silencing the world." "A vain attempt to prove himself a god." "If only the emotions I felt were natural natural in the same way venom is to the snake." "The ground tried to swallow me up." "Mother Earth knows like moves in cycles." "Even Tank knew better to stop what was already in motion." "I spent years together killing Viet Cong." "My hands knotted into little fists and I screamed with my first deaf word." "Chester." "Chester." "But Chester was gone." "By the power of the almighty, let these men break free in Jesus' name." "All men are free!" "Hallelujah!" "Amazing, ain't it, Asher?" "It's amazing what the Lord can do." "I said it's amazing what the Lord can do, ain't it, Asher?" "Deliver his message." "Told me to start the temple of bodily saints." "Oh, yeah." "And skin that gator before he starts to rot." "It's been a day already." "Oh, and, Asher." "Hey, Asher!" "Take out the trash." "Lazy." "Lazy since the day he was born." "Jesus is good to me." "Buck, would you lead us in?" "I know this is unexpected, and I'm sorry." "Don't make me no happier." "No." "No." " No." " Hello, Asher." "You know hunting season's done, right?" "Have a seat, son." "This is hard." "Asher, the reason I'm here I got to notify all the necessary people that your father got out earlier this evening due to overcrowding and good behavior." "When you say necessary people you mean that little whore, don't you?" "Yes, ma'am." "All necessary people." "Now look, I know he had four more years, but..." "No." "Judge put a restraint order on him." "Where is he now?" "No, I ain't seen them in a while." "Man, I'll tell ya, a lot has changed around here since you've been away." "So you look like you haven't aged a day." "You look great, man." " You need another one?" " Why not?" "It's a lot quieter around here." "And I seen all the boys from the club house." "Why don't you put that one on my tab, Russ?" " Hey, Lawny." " I'll take one too." "My name's Lawny." "I haven't seen you around here before." "Thank you, Russ." "To shit, friends, family and fornication?" "Thank you, Russ." "You know, my old man used to work in a distillery." "And he always told me whiskey is good at year 12 but it's better at 17." "He would always say, boy, you'll go blind you drink that shit." "But... but he also told me I'd go blind if I fiddle with my flesh fluid too much too." "Look at me now." "I got 20/20 vision." "I'm a goddamn miracle over here." "There were whispers about how my father came to be." "Some say he was born and left for dead under a rotten sycamore by a whore, 17 only to be found and raised by a descendant of the slave who beat generations upon generations of his relatives' resentments into the bones of the boy." "What I do know is that my father was a ferocious fighter had great potential." "Mama said he could have gone all the way to the top." "Said the safest place for him was in the ring." "She blamed America for sending him into the jungle." "I blame Vietnam for not bringing him home in a box." "Hey, man, hold up." "Some cigarettes." "Where are you headed off to in such a hurry there, man?" "You need a ride somewhere?" "I'll give a ride." "Look, I don't mean to speak out of line or anything but didn't your daddy ever teach you it's rude to walk out on a man just after he bought you a drink?" "Oh, you're in trouble, and you need some saving?" "Well, maybe you don't need it but I could tell from the way you looked at me in there that you definitely want it." "I think you're just... shy timing." "Fuck." "Fuck." "Fuck." "You fucking idiot." "Don't fucking move." "You just assaulted a goddamn police officer, horse." "Now, why don't you drop that fucking bag, put your hands in the air and why don't you wheedle your faggot ass over to that car." "That's right, fucking move to the fucking car." "Spread your fucking legs." "Now, you're going to spread your fucking legs for me, right?" "Oh, yeah." "Looks like I'm missing out on that?" "You got a key?" "You're in fucking deep now, man." "You're fucking deep." "Oh, you're gonna fucking rot for that." "You're..." "Fucking faggot." "Out of your jurisdiction, ain't you, Johnson?" "I got the call." "I figured I'd come out and give your hand." "Besides, I might have a related case." " Right." "Right." " That going to be a problem, Wayne?" "I guess we can work on this one together." "Tell me something, Russ, the fellow that Lawny was chatting up I wonder if you'd describe him to me." "Strong, silent type." "Great head of hair." "Blue eyes." "About six feet tall." "He wore a really bad cheap mix-match suit." "And he were a polka dot tie." " Like this?" " Exactly." "Tell you what, Russ if he should come back, if you should think anything call me." "Don't fucking move." "We're closed." "Goddamn it." "I said we're fucking closed, asshole." "What the fuck are you doing, man?" "Jesus Christ." "What are you, the big, bad wolf?" "I'm little red riding hood?" "Is this a sex fetish thing?" "You want some boy pussy?" "So what?" "Who the fuck is Ivan Rawlings?" "Will Tucker put you up to this?" "You know you look like a goddamn idiot." "Motherfucker." "Why you cocksucker fuck head." "Fuck you!" "Fuck you!" "The fuck is wrong with you?" "Jesus Christ!" "You little fucking cocksucker." "You little fuck." "You're going to have to do better than this, young man." "I ain't no faggot little pussy." "Because he is my father and a pile of shit." "Shit, I know you!" "Goddamn it, you're Asher." "You're the little fucking retard!" "Jesus!" "I think your old man put down the wrong dog." "You're still a fucking retard." "Retard!" "Look at me!" "Look at me!" "Hey!" "Read my lips." "Go fuck yourself." "Okay." "Okay." "I'll tell you." "He just got out." "He's in Mexico." "He's in Mexico." "You little motherfucker!" "Okay." "Okay." "He got in some scrap with some cop the other night and he wanted to lay low before he came back to the clubhouse." "We're going to throw him a party." "He didn't show." "Okay?" "He didn't show!" "I don't know." "I know." "I know." "He's staying in the Gator Stray Motel or some shit." "All right!" "Don't shot me in the nuts." "God, don't shoot me in the nuts." "Don't shot me in the nuts." "You gotta untie me!" "I'm gonna die here!" "My brother taught me all there is to know not just in his actions but also in his failures." "Showed me that the Earth, the moon, and the stars holds everything we need to sustain ourselves." "Taught me that nature can be just as violent as man if not more." "He was destined to be more." "I want to go home." "I need you." "Okay?" "I can't do this without you." "You don't want to be a boy forever, now do you?" "Welcome to the Gator Stray Motel." "How can I help you?" "Rawlings." "Mr. Rawlings." "Nope." "Nobody here by that name." "Mr. Clark, nice to see you again." "And you." "I left my key in the room." "Just a moment." "Not a problem." "Thank you." "You dropped this." "Now, you two have a good night." "Oh, yeah." "Sir, is there another name you would like me to check, sir?" "The world is crooked." "Fathers have always taught their sons to replace them." "Taught them how to use their hands and their feet." "Taught them how to use their knives and their guns." "And soon the sons slayed great beasts giant lions lay dead." "Then the aggressive alligators." "Then the massive and mindless bulls." "Finally, when there is nothing left larger than the father the fathers became the prey." "And the fathers were proud." "Oh, my God!" "Jesus, please." "Oh, Jesus, please don't hurt me." "No." "Help!" "Help!" "What are you going to do with me?" "You're going to kill me too, aren't you?" "I won't say anything." "You're not?" "Of course, you're not because you're a good man." "You're a decent man." "I knew it the moment I..." "I swear to God I won't tell a damn soul." "You can trust me." "Please." "Please." "Yes, I understand." "Asher." " A." " God." "Asher, you can do this." "You can do this." "Dear Nana last time you write to me you said you missed me." " What if she doesn't like me?" " It don't matter if she likes you, man." " She loves me." " I just want to let you know I miss you too." "A lot has changed since Chester died and father got locked up." "My mama hasn't left her bed in almost a school year so I'm taking it upon myself to be the man of the house." "Come on, bad boy, show me what you've got." "Good boy." "I cleaned your clothes for you." "I hope you don't mind." "I put some food on the table." "Want some coffee?" "Do you have your work?" "You're still living at your mother's?" "Why did you come here, Asher?" "[I killed him.]" "You killed who?" "They let him out?" "When?" "[A few days ago.]" "You okay?" "Did you get stabbed?" "Actually, you know what?" "I don't even want to know." "Are you in trouble with the law?" "What you did was stupid." "You could have got yourself killed, you know that?" "[How are you?" "]" "Just trying to make ends meet." "Hence, the free show you got." "Safer than other things, if you know what I mean." "I got a little boy." "He's 5 now." "Got pregnant not long after we stopped talking." "[What is his name?" "]" "C-H-E-S-S." "[His father?" "]" "Your clothes are probably dry." "They're hanging outside." "I gotta go to my mother's and pick him up and run a few errands." "Nothing has moved since the last time you were here." "You start hurting, there's some vicodin in the bathroom." "Oh, and, Asher, please do not take them all." "Dear Nana maybe signing was just meant to be for us our own secret language." "I tried to speak the other day." "But when Wayne and his friends heard the noises that came out of my mouth they just made fun of me." "I have decided that from here on out I will never speak again." "Yours forever Asher Rawlings." "She's not seeing him anymore." "I know." "I know." "And that's why I wanted to make this special for you." "I want you to feel safe." "You feel safe, don't you?" "Yeah." "I love you." " Oh, Jessy, it hurts." " Oh, baby, it's all right." "Jessy, it hurts." "Stop." "Jessy." " It hurts." " I'm sorry." "Stop." "Oh, bitch." "Shit, that's fucking good." "Jessy, it hurts." "Oh, fuck." "I'm gonna come." "Oh, baby." "I sure had a good time with that one." "Lisa?" "Lisa?" "Fuck!" "Wait a minute." "Slow down." "Slow down before somebody gets hurt." "Asher." " Chess, would you like some dessert." " Oh, yeah." "Okay." "Then we have ice cream or cookies and milk." "Which one?" " Both." " Both." "Of course." "Stupid question." "Asher, would you like some dessert?" "Okay, baby, would you please clear your plate and fetch yourself dessert and get Asher some dessert too." "Thank you." "[He looks like you.]" "He likes you." "Do you need any money?" "I care about you, Asher, but I can't have you here." "[I understand, I've gotta leave tomorrow anyway.]" "Thank you." "You're just giving it up." "Did you see what he just said?" "What's it mean?" "Asher said he's really happy he was able to meet you, baby." " Tell him thank you." " Thank you." "So I'm just going through this wine like an animal." "Next thing I know there's this little itty-bitty lady." "She said, would you like an Ambien, sir?" "I'm like, fuck, yeah, I'd like an Ambien." "What's it do?" "Anyway, so I walk back, take my shirt off, right?" "Holy shit." "Well, I'll be damned." "Shit, man." "What the fuck?" "I can't believe you're here right now." "Give me a second." "Shit." "So what the fuck, man?" "First thing you do when you get out is you kill a cop?" "You crazy fucker." "Looks he tried to kill you, brother." "What happened to you?" "What happened to your legs?" "I got them jammed under the hydraulic system on the lift." "You know my dumb ass." "I drink too much, smoke too much." "What's going on, buddy." "What you looking for?" "Really, what happened to you?" "I need the keys to the safe." "It's a combination now." "6-6-6." "Had it made custom." "What you needing?" "What's going on, Ivan?" "What happened to my room?" "I just moved my stuff in after the first year." "Shit, I didn't know." "You weren't supposed to be coming back." "I can move all my shit out." "I can do that right now, Ivan." "Ain't no big deal." "Shit man, I'll do that right now." "Get that shit out there." "Come here." "How long we've been friends now?" "I don't know. 30 years maybe." "I'm sorry about your old lady, by the way." "Thank you." "You get the flowers?" "I did." "Thank you." "You know, Tank I know the fucker who fucked up your feet is the same fucker who tangled with me." "No, I'm not mad at you." "But I need the name." "I want to go kill this motherfucker." "You know better than that." "I didn't say anything." "I'd never say nothing about shit to nobody." "I swear." "You know me better than that." "We got code." "I didn't say shit." "I swear to God." "I swear." "I swear." "I know you told him where I was, and that's okay." "Am I right?" "I'm sorry, brother." "I'm sorry." "I'm fucking sorry." "He shot my fucking toes off." "He was going to shoot me in the balls." "It's okay." "It's okay." "It's not your fault, my brother." "The motherfucker made you a cripple but like I said, I need a name." "And no one came into that room or left that room except this young couple." "Am I right?" "There was this guy who was in and out." " Forgot something also." " What did he look like?" "He had a fuzzy-looking animal hat and glasses." "Did he say anything?" " Detective." " Yeah." "The plates came back on the truck." "It's Officer Lawny." " We need to run an APB on that truck." " Actually, sir, we found it." "You said he forgot something." "What did he forget?" "Forgot this." "Okay." "Now it's time for you to go to bed." "Why can't Asher hear?" "'Cause he was in an accident when we were kids." "How do you know the secret language?" "Because my daddy was deaf too, baby." "I think it would be better for him if he stayed here with us." "Do you?" "And why is that?" "Because I think he needs people who care about him." "When did you get so smart?" " I love you." " I love you too." "Okay." "You go to bed." "Don't get up." "We're going to church tomorrow." "Would you like to join us?" "[You trying to see if I'll burst into flames?" "]" "We go every Sunday." "You don't have to come." "I just thought you might want to hang out with us." "Well, you can't come looking like that." "I think I might still have some of his father's clothes." "They should fit." "Tell me about Rawlings." "He killed his son in a drunken rage." "Made the other one deaf beating him in the head." "This is a pre-historic motherfucker." "And the Lord has a plan for you too but you gotta ask." "In Jesus' name, amen." "Now who here today needs to be touched by the spirit?" "Needs to be touched by the hand of the temple?" "Needs... to be saved?" "What did you do?" "Fucking eat him?" "What happened to my beauty queen?" "Just let yourself go, Boo-Boo?" "By the law of our heavenly father." "Yes, sir." "Yes, sir." "Come on up." "Come up, sir, and be saved." "Be saved." " Is it your legs, son?" " It is, Preacher." "Do you have faith in the temple and in the all mighty?" " Yes, sir." "Yes, sir." "I do." "Yes, sir." " Brother Steve, would you give us a hand?" "And by the power invested in me I command the sickness out and put in the breath of our Lord." "Amen." "Amen." "Oh, hallelujah." "Hallelujah." "Oh, hallelujah." "Let the sick and suffering perish the way the world does today." "It's sick and backwards." "We cannot let the wicked run free." "Because it was our father who said all men..." " Well, ain't that some shit." " Plucked the worlds clean." "And only those who repent are free." "Lord, drive the devils out." "Lord." "My little brother wherever I go, you go." "And only those who repent are free." "And that's when I heard my God speak to me, and he said you've got to help your daddy shine before you can shine for yourself." "God's got a plan." "I'm just saying with everything that's happened..." "I don't think it's a good idea for you to be seen with him." "He is a Rawlings after all." "So what should I have done, left him on my porch to die?" " It doesn't seem very Christian." " Oh, no." "No." "Heavens no." "And don't be putting words in my mouth and don't be thinking I'm not proud of you for helping him out now." "But you've done your part." "It's up to him now." "He's got no reason to be sticking around." "I told him that." "I just feel guilty." "You're an independent woman, Nana, raised a smart, healthy, young boy." "You don't need to be raising a man child." "Like proverb says, not my circus, not my monkeys." "Yeah." "I guess you're right." "He's leaving tomorrow anyway." "I told him my mother was coming to stay." "White lie never hurt anybody." "Just let me know if you need anything, all right?" " Okay." "I will, Preacher." " All right." "Bye, Lori." " Bye, Chess." " Say good-bye, Chess." "Bye, Chess." "Come here." "Time for bed, Chessy." "All right, everybody, sit down relax, and be quiet." "It is time for my sermon." "I walk through the fire." "I walk through the flames." "I'm sorry, sir, but services don't start until tomorrow morning." " Where's the deaf guy and the nigger?" " Excuse me?" "Now, you take me to the preacher." "You like that?" "I know how you like it." "I know how you like it, motherfucker." "Let me see you." "Goddamn it, Lori, get the fuck out!" "You stupid fuck." "I'm sorry, Preacher Michael!" "The man made me tell." "I'm sorry!" "I knew you were doing your sermon again." "I'm sorry." "You're really good, Asher." "Watch the bad guy." "Can we get an ice cream?" "My favorite is vanilla." "I also like strawberry." "What's yours?" "Vanilla?" "What's your second?" "Vanilla?" "Mine too." "Keep your arm up." "Keep your arm up." "Thank you." "He was a monster." "The Lord is my life and salvation..." " I need to know..." " ...which I fear." "Arm up." "About the monster." "Who lit the fire, Lori?" "One-eyed gator?" "Are we talking about a one-eyed alligator here?" "A one-eyed alligator lit the fire." "Is that what you're saying?" "Did the one-eyed gator want to hurt Pastor Michael?" "He wanted his son." "The one-eyed gator wanted Pastor Michael's son." "Hand up." "No." "He want to kill his own son." "The man with the pretty girl and the little boy." "His son." "The lowly, the path with the light." "Through the dark." "You gotta want it." "You gotta see it." "Where is he?" "He left." "He went north, said he was going to a friend's house." "I swear to God he left a day ago." "I'm sure if you could just go out..." "You... you motherfucker." "No!" "I'm sorry." "Are you sorry for fucking me or fucking my son?" "No." "Asher and Mommy sitting in a tree" "K-I-S-S-I-N-G" "First comes love, then comes marriage" "Then comes the baby in the baby carriage" "That's not all, that's not all" "Baby's drinking alcohol" "Get in the back!" "Get in the back." "Chess, I want you to lay down and stay there, baby." "You understand me?" "I thought you said you killed him." "You fucking lied." " You said he was dead." "You lied." " Mommy!" "It's okay." "It's okay, baby." "Cover your ears." "No, I ain't touching no gun." "Shit." "Give me that fucking gun." "I'm out of bullets." "I'm out of bullets, Asher." "This motherfucker, I'm gonna get his ass." "Stay down, Chess!" "Stay down!" "I can't hit him!" "He's bleeding." "He's been shot." "Asher, he's been shot!" "I have dreamed so many times that I have burnt his name from my skin leaving me with open wounds and deeper scars." "Here, I have no eyes but I have a tongue and ears." "I hear my father's foot steps stomping through the corridors of my brain eating at my walls." "He does not know that I stand behind him." "I pulled back his head and expose his throat." "I cut it." "I weep as I drop his body to the floor." "I cut off my father's hands." "They seem bigger than I remember." "I start a fire and cook them until they're black and charred." "I kneel in the mud like I did once when I was a boy." "I lift my father's hands towards my mouth licking his rough palms until my tongue bleeds." "Then I awake." "I'm exhausted by this long lapse of time eager to go home." "They should have put that man down, like a dog when they had the chance." "I'm sorry." "But Asher..." "Asher was trying to help." "Ivan was released, and he came to our house." "I don't want to hear anymore." "I don't want to hear anymore." "That boy brought this trouble to your porch, and now look." "You don't think I know that?" "But we both know it would have only been a matter of time before Ivan came sniffing around here." "He's going to be okay." "It's my fault." "Don't blame yourself, child." "There's no time for that." "Get you some rest, baby." "You can sleep in my room." " I'll stay with him." " I can't leave him." "I'll be here." "You don't want him to wake up and find you like this." "It ain't fair." "Okay." "Let me know when he wakes up." "Jesus, Asher." "You scared me." "You hungry?" "Damn." "Why did you stop writing me?" "Was it something I did?" "[I didn't want us to get hurt.]" "Well, you certainly made up for lost time." "You can sleep out here tonight." "What?" "It's more comfortable than the one at my place." "Sit down." "That's what I said." "That's not the real reason you stopped writing me, is it?" "[I was always Chester's little brother to you.]" "[You used me in life...] [...to get closer to him in death.]" "His one eye is big as that?" "Bigger." " Are you sure?" " I told you I seen him, didn't I?" "Yeah." "Well, how come you didn't kill him when you had the chance?" "The timing wasn't right." "Kill a beast like that you gotta wait until he's asleep." "Hey, where you going?" "I'm coming with you." "Yes, I am." "Give him some." "Don't be a fucking asshole." "Look, I want to do this as much as you do, if not more." "And I'm happy you didn't kill him the first time because this time I want to watch him die." "[Don't let me forget this.]" "What's in it?" "[I need you to wait.]" "I told you I'm coming in there with you." "[Keep the car running.]" "Motherfucker." "My dear Nana there are no words that can ever repair the damage I have brought upon you and your family." "There is not much more I can do to right these wrongs besides what I intend to do today." "I want you to know that I have loved you since the first day I saw you." "The only thing I can give you besides this truth is what's in this bag." "Now, listen carefully." "I do not see the sunset this fun day." "Promise me that you will send my body home to the mouth of the Mississippi." "Asher." "Fuck you." "I know you." "You should have killed me when you had the chance." "Take this, fucking retard!" "I love you." "You fucking retard." "Motherfucker." "Hey, Asher, come on." "Get up!" "Get up!" "Come on." "Let's go." "Let's go." "Go." "Go." "Come on!" "Make me proud!" "Come on, motherfucker!" "The world is not round." "Not from where I stand." "It is warped contorted crooked." "Now, I know revenge is not a noble sentiment." "But God knows it is a human one." "So take me home, my brother." "Take me home." "Take me home."