"The judge will be here any minute." "Are you finished painting?" "Yeah." "Well, then what are you doing?" "I'm watching a naked couple in the building across the alley." "They're fooling around." "That's to prate." "Too soon to tell." "I meant you." "How would you like somebody watching you and your wife doing that?" "My wife wouldn't do that." "Out." "How are you?" "God, I was so close." "Hi, Bull." "Any sign of the new judge?" "Not yet." "Say Lana, what's this guy supposed to be like?" "I don't know." "Our ex-major just filled all the vacancies on the court on his last day in office." "Nobody knows who was appointed or where they were assigned." "I think that's mercurial." "Did you say "mercurial"?" "I'm trying to make up for my lack of education." "So every month I pick a word at random out of the dictionary and use it all that month." "My!" "How..." "Minimafidean?" "__" "Is that a real word?" "Does a bear __ safe in the forest?" "What?" "No." "Tell the judge the major called." "Bye, Bull." "Hello." "Is that stuff for the judge?" "Yeah." "And what is it?" "It looks like junk to me." "Well, stick it over in the corner." "Right." "My name is Harry." "So?" "I get a drift __" "Is he here yet?" "Not yet, Sheila." "Good evening, Daniel." "Good evening." "Do I look all right?" "You look fine, Sheila." "Doesn't she, Dan?" "Yeah, swell." "Anything at all?" ""Nada"." "I was just told to expect him tonight." "He's got a background in criminal law." "I hope he plays chess." "A new man has been appointed to the bench and all that you hope for is someone who can play chess." "I also hope his first name is not Chucky." "Package for judge Stone." "He's not here." "Great view!" "What are you doing up there?" "I'm watching this guy trying to..." "Get off of there." "The judge has to sign for this himself." "I said he is not here." "Oh, yes, he is." "What?" "You don't mean..." "You are judge Harold T. Stone?" "Yeah." "You are really a judge?" "Listen, if I weren't the judge, could I do this?" "In his office?" "No." "I guess not." "There you go." "Thanks." "Sorry, I don't tip." "Besides, how do I know you're not the type to go out and spend it on a Barry Manilow album?" "Cover me." "Judge Stone." "Dan Fielding." "Assistant District Attorney." "Nice to meet you." "I'm Sheila Gardiner." "Attorney with legal aid." "Pleasure is mine." "I'm Lana Wagner." "Your court clerk." "Couldn't you just die?" "Pay no attention to the gossip." "On you they look good." "I don't know what's holding the judge up." "Diaper change, perhaps." "All rise." "Criminal court's part two, city New York is now in session." "The honorable" "Harold T. Stone presiding." "Gotcha!" "Your honor..." "I've always wanted to see that happen." "Your honor, far be it from me to advise what matters..." "Where's my gavel?" "I beg your pardon?" "That little hammer thing?" "Yes, I know what it is." "Ladies and gentleman, off the court." "Well how the hell __ didn't I?" "So, the first case..." "Harry?" "Is that you?" "Hacksaw?" "Come on, now." "He has a friend named Hacksaw?" "Blacky and Lefty must be caught in traffic." "Hacksaw, how are you doing?" "Well, you know." "Free card money again, huh?" "Guilty as seen, your honor." "Ms. Wagner, prepare the file on Hamming Lener G." "Sir, that's not the first case..." "Ms. Gardiner, your client's pleading guilty to a misdemeanor." "__ That'll cost you 50 bucks, Hacksaw." "What's the fine?" "50 bucks." "Thank you." "My pleasure." "Here's the file." "Case closed!" "Good to see you, Hacksaw, really good." "You too, Har." "That was quick." "What's next?" "I hate you!" "Well, I hate you more!" "We'll talk later." "Your whole family is crazy." "Their chromosomes aren't normal." "And they all look like sleekies." "You leave my family out of this, you..." "Let's put a lid on this deciduousness." "State first" "Your honor, this case has some..." "Let's all gather around the big desk." "This case has some..." "Can you give it to me in a nutshell?" "Husband and wife married 27 years." "She catches him with a prostitute, fires a couple of shots, misses them both by a mile, so the DA files for attempt of murder." "This could go either way." "Yes." "Unless..." "What?" "No, I guess it's got to go either way." "Your honor..." "Hi." "Hi." "Phillip Kerr?" "Yes, sir." "Louise Kerr?" "Here." "Carla Buvoir?" "They call me Carla B., your honor." "Employed down there for alleged solicitation of prostitution or something." "Right you are." "Your honor, may I?" "Mr. prosecutor, Miss Gardiner," "I am prepared to listen to the testimony, cross-examine the witnesses, consider the precedence, that I'm sure you both prepared," "but I don't think that's gonna be necessary." "What do you mean, it's not necessary?" "I'm glad you asked." "We will now take a short recess." "During that time I order the defendant, Ms. Kerr, and her husband, Mr. Kerr and the attorneys involved to go to a nearby restaurant." "Sit down, have a cup of coffee, relax, try to work out this little thing." "Your honor, this is highly irregular." "Thanks." "Court recess." "I cannot work with that man." "He is disrupting my court!" "There isn't much we can do." "What does that mean?" "A traditional review board takes months, sometimes even years to investigate a suspect judge." "And then they're usually only given an official reprimand." "It is virtually impossible to remove a sitting judge from the bench." "So what you're saying is..." "We have to kill him." "Sir, I have to speak with you." "Lana, good to see you." "Come over here." "Your honor, I feel that it's my duty to discuss with you your behavior..." "Pick a card." "Sir, I have urgent business to discuss." "You can talk while you're doing this." "Come on." "Now, what's on your mind?" "Judge Stone, I think your actions on the court case were impulsive, unorthodox and totally irresponsible." "My god, they're at it again?" "Your honor!" "Come on, call me Harry." "I don't think I can." "Yeah, my baby brother had trouble pronouncing it too." "Used to come out "Ha wee"" "Call me "Ha wee"" "You're crazy." "I mean, an attempt of murder and you send the plaintiff and the defendant out for a cup of coffee?" "What do murderers get, brunch?" "All right, my methods are informal." "Give them a chance." "They might work." "Maybe, just maybe, it'll work." "And again, maybe someday pigs will fly." "Oh, my God." "Sheila, Dan, are you all right?" "What happened?" "You wanna know what happened?" "I'll tell you what happened." "No settlement with the Kerrs." "It must have been awful." "I loved my shirt." "I really thought it would work." "I'm sorry, I really am but it was predictable." "Yeah, maybe it was." "You're a tarantula." "You've never used language like that to me before!" "You never tried to shoot me before." "Pipe down or I'm gonna turn Bull loose to kick some butt." "Try to look menacing." "Good." "All right, everybody sit down." "I thought I sent you two away to work this thing out." "I tried to work things out with her but she won't have none of it." "That's a damn lie." "Don't forget, Phil is the one that was shot at." "All right, I want no more shouting from the gallery." "Do I make myself clear?" "Yes, the man in the back in the bath robe." "Are oo's and oh's okay?" "They're fine." "Thank you." "Have we started?" "Could I have the Kerr file, please?" "All right." "Listen up, folks." "It seems that there are those who feel that I am not fit to be a judge." "It seems that there are those who think I'm crazy." "Well, frankly, I just don't know." "Ms. Wagner, what's that behind your ear?" "It's a coin!" "My, is the coin of justice." "Sir, I don't think you're feeling very well." "I'll tell you what." "Let's flip the coin." "Let it decide." "Heads, I stay a judge, tails, I resign." "Heads, I'm still a judge." "I'm going for an ambulance." "Take a sit, Ms. Wagner." "Now, Phil." "You've been married 27 years." "Is that right?" "Yes, sir." "27 years." "Gee." "It must have been a living hell." "Oh, well, there was okay times." "Early on." "Let me guess." "You two haven't had that much to say to each other recently." "Romance has sort of been replaced by a really good night sleep?" "And so he goes to the other woman." "It's a living." "Crime?" "Solicitation." "Heads, I just fine you, tails, you go to jail." "Heads again, it's your lucky day." "Could be yours too." "I can appreciate that." "I must protest for the record." "Mr. Fielding, did you have a happy childhood?" "What?" "Was it happy?" "I mean, did you laugh a lot as a youngster?" "I don't want to answer." "I don't wanna fine you for contempt." "I didn't laugh a lot." "Thank you." "Does anybody understand what I'm saying here?" "Does anyone understand what I'm trying to do here?" "Ms. Wagner." "Sheila." "Bull." "I don't know." "What the hell's going on?" "I'm just talking, folks." "You get it?" "I'm talking." "You talk to people." "You talk to find out about them." "Maybe you reveal a little bit about yourself in the process." "But the main thing is you get to know them." "You go inside their head." "You find out what their dreams are, what their hopes are." "Are there any English speaking people here tonight?" "All right then." "Let's flip the coin again." "Let's decide the Kerr case." "The defense wants heads, your honor." "I'm sorry." "I don't know what I'm saying." "Here it is." "Heads, I send Louise to jail for 7 years," "Tails, we let her go." "Phil, was there anything you wanted to say to your wife before I flip?" "7 years?" "Good luck, Louise." "You know, it was your own fault for trying to shoot me." "Shoot?" "I fired straight up in the air." "Did you think I would take a chance on hurting you?" "Is that true, Louise?" "You think I __ and a gallbladder operation just to have fill him full of lead?" "You mean, you weren't trying to hurt me?" "Louise, I..." "Say it, Phil, say it." "I love you, Louise." "And I love you, Phil." "Then what are we doing here?" "Phil, can we forget this whole thing?" "I'd like to, I really would." "Phil, one more flip." "Heads, we send her up the river, tails, you take her home." "No." "Every time you flip __ comes up heads." "Of course it does." "It's a double headed coin." "Oh, come on." "You didn't think I believed in luck, did you?" "By the power invested in me by the state of New York" "I pronounce you a little better off than you were when you came in." "I had a husband just like that." "Oh, yeah?" "I had to shoot him too." "Will the counsels approach the bench, please?" "Well, I'm beat." "How about you, guys?" "I'll do anything you want." "Terrific." "You guys sorted out." "I'm gonna go to my chambers and do some judge stuff." "Any questions?" "Just one." "How did you get appointed to the bench?" "You know, Dan, that's a funny story." "It was the major's last day in office." "And it was a Sunday." "And my name was at the bottom of a list of a thousand candidates." "So they start calling folks, starting at the top of the list." "But you see, it's Sunday so no one's home." "So they keep calling down the list name by name." "No one answers." "Finally they get down to the bottom of the list and voilà." "You mean you were appointed to judge because..." "I was home." "There'll be a 10 minute recess." "Pass it on." "Your honor." "Your honor." "I own every record Mel Tormé ever made." "I'm gonna marry the girl that is impressed by that." "I beg your pardon?" "You're about to say?" "Oh, yes." "They're ready to lock up now." "Fine." "By the way, thanks a lot for being patient with me tonight." "I am new here, you know." "Yeah, we noticed." "You know, my name was at the bottom of that list of prospective judges because I haven't had much experience really." "But every candidate does go through a thorough screening process and whatever anybody thinks of that list, I was on it." "Good night, Ms. Wagner." "What you did out here tonight was beautiful." "Oh, in a bohemian sort of way." "No, I mean it." "You saved that marriage." "And the 27 years of love and memories." "and fulfillment to go along with it." "Sometimes I get lucky." "Good night." "About my job..." "Give me one more chance, huh?" "It would be an honor to call you Harry." "Then it's fortunate I have that name." "Subtitles by Héctor Lahoz"