"(yelling)" "September 16, approximately 12:05 a.m." "Video log, Eibon." "(growls)" "After many months, I've finally broken through the forbidden wall." "I stand at death's door." "(loud bang)" "My chosen subjects, too, at this time have shown a... amazing aggression." "(growls)" "Something that I never imagined." "(breaking glass)" "With this final act," "I join my legion." "The world that is known dies tonight." "(shot)" "(growling)" "(groaning)" "(loud bang)" "(thunder)" "Okay." "October 31st, 9:45 p.m." "Happy Halloween." "Autopsy of male Caucasian, age approximately 24, time of death approximately 11:08 p.m." "cause of death, unknown." "Dr. Sarah Ross slicing and dicing." "(thunder)" "Let's see what we have here." "(sighs)" "Subject has suffered serious exterior trauma." "Several sizeable wounds, starting at the torso and continuing down to the abdominals." "At first glance my guess to cause of wounds to be... power tool." "Possibly a chainsaw." "Very nice." "Several more wounds at the triceps and neck regions." "Not as large as the torso wounds, but deeper." "(thunder)" "Wounds unlike others, flesh appears to have been torn out, not cut." "Dr. Sarah Ross:" "Closer inspection reveals what appears to be a human tooth." "Whoever did this hasn't heard too much red meat will kill them." "He's sure in for a surprise." "The facial and cranial areas have suffered the most damage." "That's for sure." "Why is it the hunky guys are always dead before I get to meet them?" "I guess I have to get out of here more often." "Clearly, exterior trauma is the most probable cause of death." "However..." "Interior examination is necessary to clear up any... (whispering) question." "(thunder)" "(whispering) What the fuck!" "Okay." "There was just a mangled cute guy here a minute ago, and now he's gone." "It's Halloween... obviously you're either working too hard, or someone's really gone out of their way to play a joke on you." "Shit!" "Okay, time to get the fuck out of here and find a new career." "(thunder)" "(screaming)" "(yelling)" "(yelling)" "(groaning)" "Man:" "Cut!" "(laughing)" "That was great you guys," " real horror show." " Thanks." "Can someone please get me my robe?" "You too, Shell, really, really killer stuff." "Ugh." "Yuck!" "That fake blood is disgusting, David." " Paul!" " Yeah!" "Yeah, yeah, what do you need?" "Some water, so I can rinse this shit out of my mouth." "Well, see it's going through..." "Yeah, I get this." "Why do you do that?" "You know he likes you and you always torture him." "What did I say?" "You called his blood shit." "You know how he takes pride in that techy crap." "You deal with him and my brother for as many years as I have, and you'll take your shots where you can." "Besides..." "he's your best friend, not mine." "Hey, hey, hey." "Watch it." "No fair giving the other actors here any inside info on the director, okay?" "Eric, anytime you want to know what kind of hell you've gotten yourself into?" " You can ask me." " Hey," "I just had to direct my sister here in a less than fully clothed scene." "Now that, my friend, is hella weird." "Yeah, if you weren't such a sick and twisted pervert, you wouldn't write such smut for your sister." "Someone you hardly know to be in." "That's true." "Woman:" "What the hell is going on here!" "?" "Oh, shit." "Who is that?" "Both:" "Our sister." "You never told me you have two sisters." "That was sort of the idea." "Nina!" "You made it." "Why the hell is Shelly doing my part?" "We're two hours late, I had to do something." "Well I'm here now." "Shoot the scene over." "What?" "Look, Shell." "You and I both know I'm the better actress." "Look, Nina." "You and I both know the only way you've ever gotten anything in your entire life has been by badgering someone into it." "That is so not true, David, tell her." "Alright." "Enough, okay?" "I have enough to deal with here to have you two fighting." "What are you gonna do about it, David?" "Shell, can you give me a minute, please?" "Please?" "Alright." "I'll take that." "You won't be needing it." "(laughing ironically)" "Hey, listen, I can take off too..." "Who are you?" "Well, this is Eric." "Yeah, great." "He's gonna be the next David Warbeck." "Huh?" " Who?" " Who?" "David Warbeck, he was the zombie busting hero on The Beyond." "Come on." "Here we go, Shelly!" "Nina!" "(Laughing) You're here." "How great!" "I see the regular group of misfits is here." "And he was good?" "What?" "This David Warbeck guy, is pretty good?" "Oh, he was the best, bro." "Trust me, I'm a doctor." "You are really good at that." "So, if this guy was so good then, how can we've never heard of him?" "Well, you..." "Hey, Paul, why don't you get the stuff ready for the head trap?" "Yeah, good idea." "So?" "What?" "If this actor was so good, how come, what's his face and I have never heard of him." "Err..." "Well, you guys obviously don't watch enough horror movies." "Trust me, those in the know, they know David Warbeck." "So what you're telling..." " Eric." " Eric." "Is that someday, if he plays his cards right, a small and obsessive group of people will know who he is." "Ahh, Nina, why don't you get your stuff ready, or something, ok?" "Like now!" "Will you excuse me for a minute please?" " Yeah!" " Thanks." "I thought you said this part was mine." "It is." "But, don't worry." "I'm gonna figure something out." "Trust me." "Shelly..." "I promise, I'm gonna figure something out, okay?" "Okay." "You'd better." "Because I can be a bitch too, you know?" "Yeah, right." "Oh, and one more thing." "Can you have a talk to Eric for me, please?" "I think Nina just gave him a complex." "Would you relax?" "You just want everything to be perfect, as usual, because this is your first real film." "Yeah, and Nina making the other actors scared about their career future after dong it doesn't exactly calm me." "(laughing) I think I can relate to that." "But you're doing a great job." "However if I did want to be a bitch in this situation," "I could remind you that you broke into this location and are shooting here illegally." " Wow!" " Ah!" "Don't do that to me!" "I'm sorry, I can't help it." "Hey." "You want to see your head?" "Excuse me?" "Tada!" "It's exact, I studied photos of you for days." "I probably know your face better than you do." "That's nice, Paul." "Well, you can have it after the shoot if you want." "Oh, jeez, Paul that's really sweet of you, but err..." "I'll catch you guys later." "Okay." "I'll catch you later." "Oh, dude, have I told you how much I lust after your sister?" "Since we were twelve, buddy." "It's all coming together man." "You and me finally making a movie." "The next Romero and Savini." "Shelly finally... (roars)" "Dude, she loved the head." "Really?" "Wow!" "She must have been desperate if she finally let you." "Ha, ha, ha, asshole, you just wait." "You and me, we're going to be related." "Paul, the only head you're ever going to get from anything even remotely resembling my sister, is that one you've got in your hands right now." "And who's to say I haven't already had it." ""Oh, Shelly..." "it's a graveyard."" ""My cunt, have some respect." "Oh God."" "You are truly, truly a sick bastard." "And I love you for it." "But," "I got some bad news." "What?" "Well, we're gonna make the head, look like..." "Nina." "What?" "No, no, no, no, no, no." "Look, unfortunately our little plan to keep her out didn't work, okay, as you so gracefully found out." "I told you it wouldn't work." "Well, man, how the hell did she find this place anyhow?" "I mean she's always gotten lost before." "Well, what are you gonna do, Merlin, huh?" "Have two people playing the same role?" "I don't know." "I'm making this up as I go." "God!" "Look, how long before we're ready to do the head tear off gag?" "Well, I don't know, Dave!" "I'll just whip another one up." "That's what I came here to tell you," "I can't do it anyhow." "Why not?" "Because the PA I sent to get the supplies isn't back yet, okay?" " Are you sure?" " Yeah." "Shit!" "Can anybody tell me where Topaz is?" "Next." "(rock music)" "And, uh..." "Will that be all?" "Can I get eight boxes of condoms?" "Dry." "Eight." "Eight boxes." "Anything else?" "Mmm..." "For that private itch." "There is the lube." "Well this stuff is great!" "So I've been told." "Okay, that will be... 33... 69." "And, uh... you have a great weekend." "Oh, and you?" "Go fuck yourself!" "Dike." "(creaking)" "(door slams)" "(footsteps)" "(door creaking)" "(growling)" "Hi, Marcus." "Damn!" "Question." "How did you know it was me?" "Oh, come on Marcus, who else could it be." "No one else is that ugly in real life." "Oh, ah ha, well, for your information it took Paul nearly two hours to make me look this good." "(laughing)" "Oh, wait!" "Forget about that." "Did you get everything he needed?" "Yeah, I think so." "Yep!" "Everything a good effects artist needs, or any seventeen year old with his parents gone for the weekend." "Well, it's a good thing you got here when you did." "They've even gone crazy waiting for you to show up." "Really?" "Oh shit!" "45 minutes." "How long does it take to go to the store and back?" "Dave, man, relax." "It's not like we're shooting Titanic and everything costs you 300g's." "Yeah." "Don't remind me." "If I had their cappuccino budget" "I could make four of these movies." "Well, I told you, you should have shot on video." "Real filmmakers shoot on film." "Where could she be?" "Never fear, Godzilla is here." "I am really, really, really sorry, but the first store I went to didn't have the dry kind so I had to go to another one." "Perfecto." "I swear to God this will never happen again." "I really hope I didn't screw you up too badly." "Nina:" "Well, you certainly did..." "Who are you?" "I'm David's sister." "Little Miss Black." "And the one who's helping fund this little project, which means you work for me." "You have two sisters?" "Okay..." "Well, um, excuse me all the hell, but just so we're clear," "I'm not getting paid so, I don't work for you." "Okay?" "Let me tell you something..." "Nina, go away." "David, don't talk to me like that." "This little girl..." "Nina!" "We're behind already." "Okay?" "Now we're almost ready to shoot, so why don't you go make sure you know your lines or something." " I know my lines." " Now!" "Okay." "I'm going." "For the record, it's Miss Poe to you." "Got it, kid?" "Rawr, rawr." "(laughing)" "Um, look, I'm really sorry." "I didn't mean to cause you any grief there." "Don't worry about it." "Really?" " Yeah." " Okay." "But Shelly and Eric ran off to look around for a while." "Would you go find them and tell them we're about ready to go?" " Oh, yeah sure." " Thanks." "So, Dave, if I were you I'd... grab a couple of these bad boys." "Looks like you may be needing them later." "Ha!" "Hey Chas!" "Yeah?" "We're back on!" "Cool, let's..." "Let's shoot this fucking thing." "Dude, how does he shoot anything when he wears sunglasses all the time and he's constantly stoned?" "Dave:" "I have no idea..." "But he's the best D.P. I know..." "And can afford." "You know, for your information pot sharpens the senses." "It actually makes some things clearer for some people." "Some people." "Shelly:" "If you haven't noticed," "David has a way of convincing people to do just about anything." "Eric:" "Yeah." " So, how about you?" " Me?" "Yeah, how did my brother get you into all this?" "The promise of tape." "If I can just get a couple of scenes to put on a reel" "I can show them to an agent." "Pilot season's coming up, so whatever helps." "Besides, Nicholson started out doing this type of crap, right?" "I guess." "Not that I want to get type cast to this kind of role... no offense to your brother." "Honestly, do you think I have the look to be a leading man?" "Pretty creepy huh?" "That's an understatement." "You know, maybe we should head back." "Oh, come on, just a little further." "Call it character motivation." "Yeah, well my character doesn't need this kind of motivation, if you get my drift." "Eric, look..." "Shh..." "What is that?" "(whirring)" "What do you suppose happened in here?" "Shelly:" "I have no idea." "Eric:" "I don't like it." "Eric:" "Who would trash a room like this and leave the TV on?" "Marilyn Manson?" "(laughing)" "Hey, look." "Why would anyone leave that behind?" "Maybe because they haven't left." "What?" "Are you saying there's someone else in here besides us?" "God I hope not." "Could be homeless people, a lot of times they find these abandoned places and squat in them until they're about to tear them down." "Hey, there's a tape in here." "Is there anything on it?" "I don't know, I just found it." "Let me see that." "(man growling on TV)" "September 16th, approximately 12:05 AM." "Video log of Eibon." "Eibon:" "After many months I've finally broken through the forbidden wall." "I stand at death's door." "Eibon:" "My chosen subjects, too..." "What is so funny?" "Oh, come on, isn't this obvious?" "I guess not." "This has got to be part of my brother's film." "You think?" "(men yelling on TV)" "¡Eww!" "(laughs)" "What have I gotten myself into?" "Welcome to the wonderful world of low budget films, pal." "Hey, what's so funny!" "?" " Jesus!" " Christ!" "What's wrong with you?" "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just really can't help myself." "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you that badly." "But, anyway, David is ready for you, ready to shoot." "Great, the sooner I get out of here, the better." "(chuckles)" "I can't take much more of this." "Oh, look, Shelly, I'm sorry," "I really didn't mean to scare you like that." "I know, that's cool." "But, um..." "David left a tape in that camera." "Why don't you get it and hurry back to set?" " Okay." " Knowing my sister, if you've met her, she's probably noticed you've been gone." "Yeah." "I met her alright." "Don't think she likes me much." "Of course not." "You're David's type." "She... err... she hates that." "She'd probably rip your head off is she could." "Hmph!" "(growls)" "Dave:" "More blood!" "Paul, that's great!" "Dave:" "Cut!" "That was awesome." "Eat your heart out, Gino De Rossi." "Question." "Is this stuff supposed to sting your eyes?" "Paul:" "Marcus, lean back." "Man, this stuff is really stinging." "Dude, you've got to lean back so I can flush out your eyes." "So, did you guys find anything cool or...?" "Not really." "What happened here?" "Oh, we just ripped Nina's head off." " Damn." " Ha!" "I bet you've wanted to do that your whole life." "You have no idea." "Oh, uh..." "Topaz found you guys, right?" "You mean Morticia?" "She found us alright, took about a year off my life in the process." "Well, where is she now?" "Topaz:" "Marcus, come in." "Yeah, Topaz, what's up?" "Topaz:" "Is everyone up there?" "Yeah, I think so." "Topaz:" "Great, tell everybody to come down here to the office that Eric and Shelly were in." "They're never going to believe what I found." "Chas:" "And here it is." "Found it!" "Woah!" "So, where is Nina?" "Probably lost..." "Or maybe she found someone else's movie to fuck up!" "(laughs)" "Paul:" "Ugh!" "Did I say that?" "(exhales)" "So, what do you think?" "It's perfect!" "(laughs)" "Shelly:" "Hold on a sec." "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be the voice of sanity here, but..." "This place is obviously not as deserted as we though." "We can't stay here." "What, are you crazy?" "Yeah, come on, Shelly, we've been all over this place and we haven't seen anybody." "Where's your sense of adventure, huh?" "You're going to have to come up with something better than a lame dare like that." "Look at this thing." "I mean, you guys!" "Does anyone else see a resemblance to a coffin?" " Yeah." " Fuckin' A!" "There could be a hundred reasons why this thing is here." "Shelly:" "Yeah, name one." "Good one." "Maybe it's some sort of fifties cryogenics project." "Yeah, it kind of looks like a big refrigerator." "Yeah!" "Well, listen to me, guys." "This place is really not deserted and I think we need to get out of here before they come back." "I'm sorry David, but it's not worth it." "Not worth it?" "What do you think I'm doing here?" "This isn't some backyard thing" "I'm doing for shits and giggles." "I'm trying to make a movie." "Yeah, and there will be other movies." "I can't believe you're saying this." "Whoa, (whistles) time out, sibs." "Look, Shelly, hey!" "David's right, we can't quit now." "Look, it's already night time, so if somebody was going to show up, they'd have been here already." "I mean, I say we shoot all night and get as much stuff as we can, then jet out of here in the morning." "I mean, guys!" "Look at this thing." "I mean, it's like it was made for us, it's..." "It's perfect!" "(Shelly screams)" "Jesus!" "Christ!" "I think we just found the owner." "Is he dead?" "Why don't you check the pulse, that way you can find out for sure." "No, thanks." "Shelly:" "What are you doing?" "Well, I feel like we should at least turn him over." "Oh, God." "Oh, jeez." "Who do you think he was?" "I think Marcus is right, this is probably the guy that was using this stuff." "Well, does he have any I.D. on him?" "(coughs)" "How can you do that?" "Well, part of being a good make-up artist is studying anatomy," "(clears throat) so it looks real." "You just got to disconnect yourself from it and pretend that it isn't real and freaking you out." "No, nothing." "(sighs)" "So, what are we gonna do?" "I mean, we should really notify somebody or something, right?" "Yeah." "(coughs)" "Why?" "What, David?" "Why do we have to notify anyone." "What do you mean?" "Well don't you guys see?" "I mean, if we call somebody, then that's it, movie's over." "The cops or whoever, they're gonna roll in here." "They're gonna confiscate our film as evidence, and we're all going to be right back to where we started." "Paul, you'd be back slinging foam, man, for Subhuman Creations, hoping someday maybe they'd let you be an on-set assistant." "Chas, you'd back shooting weddings, bro." "Yeah, Eric, you know," "I hope you get that dandruff commercial, man, or that quick walk-on on Seventh Party." "I hope you like making copies." "Dave:" "Really." "And, you know, what have we worked for this whole time?" "And, Marcus..." "I don't know what you did before." "But my point is, is that we all go back to the end of the line here, taking shit from people that are half as talented and dedicated about making movies as we are." "So what are you saying, David?" "What should we do?" "I say we keep going." "In fact..." "I say we use him." "Oh, whoa, wait a minute." "What?" "Just think about it, you guys, what do we have here that no other living dead movie has ever had?" "A real corpse, right?" "Just think about it." "Kids would race to see a living dead movie with real corpses in it." "It would be the ultimate, man." "Have you completely lost your fucking minds?" "I can't believe you're even seriously considering this." "Any of you, this is fucking sick!" " Shelly, just calm down." " No, no, no, don't touch me!" "I don't even know you anymore." "This movie has completely made you lose your mind." "I mean, first, first you just, hand my part over to Nina, big surprise there, but now you want to use a dead body in some stupid little movie?" "Shelly:" "I don't want any part of this." "I'm out of here." "Shelly, wait... argh!" "Marcus, will you go make sure she exits the front safely, please?" "Yeah." "Sure." "Thanks." "(sighs)" "Look, you guys, I know what I'm asking you all to do here is..." "Well, it's a little unorthodox, but I don't know what else to do." "But I'm not going to force anybody to do this if they don't want to." "Look, man," "I know it's fucked up and all, yeah, but..." "I'm not gonna quit." "I'm with you, bro." "You know that." "Always." "Shit, Dave, it's twisted," "but it's not like we killed the guy." "I'm in." "Uh-huh." "Eric, you okay, man?" "Dave, I don't know if I can do this." "Well, no one is forcing you, bro, okay?" "I don't know, I don't know." "I mean, we aren't going to go to Hell for this, are we?" "I mean, God, I want to be is an actor, but..." "I don't want to damn my soul for it." "Eric, just do what you have to." "All right?" "You promise me this is going to get me noticed." "Eric, trust me, man, you're going to be the next Dick Miller." "This is going to be a great story to tell on Leno." "Who's Dick Miller?" "Well..." "Looks like it's up to you, huh?" "Do we stay, or do we go?" "Well, (clears throat)" "I guess we can always call the police afterwards, right?" "All right, people, we got a long night ahead of us, right?" "So let's shoot this fucker." "Yeah!" "Chas:" "Woo!" "(cries)" "Shelly?" "What are you doing here?" "You're brother sent me to make sure you're all right." "(chuckles) How thoughtful of him." "I'm sure he feels just terrible." "He seemed pretty upset." "He's still shooting, isn't he?" "Can... can I get you anything or...?" "No, I just want a few minutes alone, okay?" "Yeah, no problem." "Paul:" "Close your eyes." "Okay, you're all set." "God it's good to be out of that stuff." "I feel like myself again." "Why would you want that?" "So, everybody ready?" " You know it." " Yeah, pretty much." "Good." "Okay, Eric." "Now make sure you know your lines, okay?" "Because we're a little late and we've gotta get this in one take." "Okay?" "Great!" "(clears throat)" "One take?" "Can I get you to help me out for a sec?" "Sure thing, buddy, no problemo!" "Great." "Oh, yeah, him." "Yeah him." "We got to get him back into this thing." "Okay." "Yeah." "Okay." " Okay?" " Yeah." "(clears throat)" "So, uh..." "All right, on three." "One, two, three!" "(grunts)" " Ah, Jesus!" " What are you doing?" "Fuck you, man!" "He breathed." "That's just pent up gas in the body." "Now, come on, everyone's watching." "(sighs) Sorry, guys, first corpse." " Come on." " Okay." "Okay." "Okay." "Now, go." "(grunting)" " It stinks!" " Open the door!" " All right, all right, great." " Okay!" "(grunting)" "Okay." "Okay." "Okay!" "That wasn't so bad, huh?" "Well, you let me know when it gets bad, okay?" " Mr. Poe!" " Yeah?" "I've been looking at this thing, and I think I've figured out how to power it up." " Really?" " Yeah, I think so, see here?" "It looks like everything has been routed to one coaxial cable." "So, all we really have to do now is juice her up." "I'm not exactly sure what this thing does, but..." "I've been feeling it's gonna be a whole lot cooler with it on." "That's great, Topaz." "That's great." "Look, I hope you didn't take that stuff my sister said terribly or too personally." "Uh, you know... she's just protective of you." "Yeah, she's protective all right, she's kind of like a lion with her cubs, you know?" " Yeah." " Yeah." "Now, Jesus, things are..." "like they're weird enough already, you know?" "And uh..." "I don't know..." "I'd hate it if you left." "Well, you know, I've stuck around this long, guess I'll wait and see how things turn out." "Besides," "Nina hasn't been around, right, so things are already looking up." "Thanks, Topaz." "Oh, and Chas, call me Paul, everyone else does." "Oh, and Topaz, just call me Dave, everybody does." "Okay, people, we're ready to shoot or what?" "Eric." "(exhales)" "Okay." "You're going to want to start back here," " at the machine, right?" " Right." "And you're gonna throw this switch" " which is gonna power it up." " Okay." "You want to take this medallion-type thing, all right?" "And you put it in this hole, which we're gonna pretend is gonna bring back your army of the dead." " Okay?" " Right, sounds good." "Let's roll!" "Let's shoot this." "Let me just get these work lights." "Rock it, Bob." "Action!" "Yes, my lovely dead thing." "After years of struggling," "I have found the way to bring you back." "You will lead my army of the dead so that I can avenge all those who mocked me." "Tonight, we'll bring the end of mankind!" "Eric, don't stop!" "Live." "Live." "Live!" "(rumbling)" "(thudding)" "Keep going." "Open it!" "What the hell?" "(screaming)" "Christ!" "Holy fuck!" "At least he got it in one take." "No, David!" "Oh, God!" "(growls)" "(screams)" "Shit!" "Holy fucking shit!" "Get me up!" "Get me up!" "Please get me the fuck out of here!" "Get me up!" "Fucking help me!" "(growls)" "Make them die, slowly." "(manic laughter)" "Which way?" " (growls) - (screams)" "Come on!" "(growls)" "You guys?" "Where are you?" "David?" "I'm lost!" "Shit, I can't believe this." "You guys better not be filming without me!" "Come on!" "Jesus Christ, man, did you see that?" "Of course I saw it." "What the fuck is going on?" "I don't know, dude!" " (growls)" " Shit, come on." "Check and see if any of these rooms are unlocked." "Get it open!" "Shit!" "Fuck, man, it's no go." "It's no go!" "(growls)" "Chas..." "Chas:" "What?" "Oh, fuck!" "Die!" "Come on, let's go." "Let's go!" "Come on, let's go!" "Shit!" "Who the hell chains an emergency exit?" "People who don't want people coming in on their secret zombie experiments." "Goddamn!" "God!" "Goddamn it, all we need is an axe or something." " Like that one?" " Oh, God, this is just not fair." "(growls)" "Stand back." "Stand back." "(breaking glass)" "Let's go!" "Help me through!" "Go, go, go!" "What the fuck, man!" "Jesus Christ, damn!" "What the fuck, man!" "Let go, bro!" "Oh!" "Oh, Jesus!" "(growls)" "(screams)" "Eibon:" "Time to bring you back to the land of the living." "Ellie." "Never again!" "Argh!" "No!" "(screams)" "Oh, thank God I finally found this place." "Where did everyone else go?" "(growls)" "Oh, no!" "(screams)" "(growls)" "(growls)" "Go!" "Bring the rest to me." "Tonight the dead will rule." "Forever!" "Don't fear, the others will be here soon." "What could be taking them so long?" "I don't know." "I thought you were going to leave anyway?" "I am." "I just want to make sure David's makes it back okay." "Question, weren't you just disgusted with him just a little while ago?" "Do you have any brothers or sisters, Marcus?" "Me?" "No." "I guess after my parents had me, they decided one was enough." "Wait, that didn't come out right." "Well, let me tell you something." "Unfortunately, your family can do some pretty messed up things, but when it comes down to it, nothing is thicker than blood." "Topaz:" "Marcus!" "Topaz:" "Are you there?" "Yeah, I'm here, Topaz, but we got a really bad signal." "Topaz:" "Listen, I need you to go to get help!" "Okay, That's a roger there, Topaz," "I'm on my way." "I guess they're all done, must need help lugging the gear back." "Do you want to come along?" "No, I think I'll wait right here for the happy little band of degenerates to come back." "Okay, well, we shouldn't be too long." "Repeat, Marcus, I need you to go and get help." "Over." "Marcus?" "Goddamn it, Marcus, would you answer... (growls)" "Oh my god, what the hell are we going to do?" "I don't know, give me a minute." "I'm still trying to grasp the fact that I'm living my movie, okay?" "Hey." "We don't have a minute, okay?" "Marcus is on his way down here and those things are out there wandering around." "I know, I'm sorry." "But this kind of stuff doesn't happen to me every day, okay?" "Okay, think, what would Bruce Campbell do?" "Okay, news flash, this isn't your movie, it's reality." "(growls)" "(screams)" "Oh my god!" "Help!" " Are you okay?" " No, of course not!" "Let's just get the fuck out of here." " (growls)" " That could be a problem." "(growls)" "I see they put you back into that shit." "Don't blame me." "I told you my brother could convince anyone to do just about anything." "I have to admit you lasted longer than I thought you would." "I bet he told you you'd be a big star and everything." "Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but my brother's the biggest bullshit artist I know." "Take a good long look at yourself in the mirror." "This is as good as it gets." "A lot of shattered dreams." "(growls)" "(screams)" "All clear." "Topaz:" "What do you see?" "Not much, it's pretty dark." "It smells kinda funny though, like, biology class." "Here, take my arms." "Come on." " Shit!" " What?" " I dropped the tape." " What tape?" "Oh, wait, I've got my lighter." "Jesus!" "They just keep getting worse." "Who are they?" "I don't know." "Topaz:" "What does it say?" "Just a number and a date." "But if I was going to take a guess," "I'd say that Sam Raimi extra we found in that machine is pretty busy trying to bring these guys back." "God, why would anyone want to bring back the dead?" "Why try to create a master race, or a bomb that can kill anything in a ten-mile radius?" "Because they're fucking crazy." "No, no, no, this is..." "This is one guy, David." "This isn't some government-funded thing, he was working alone." "No." "Something had to have happened to make him do this." "No offense, but I'm a little more interested in trying to get out of here in one piece." "Not why some nut job is trying to bring the dead back to life." " No, wait a second." " What?" "The tape." "What the hell is so important about that videotape?" "Look, Shelly and Eric found it in the office next to the lab." "At first, I thought it was footage that you shot, that's what they told me." "But after everything that's happened," "I think maybe it's that guy's." "Maybe there's something on it that can tell us what the hell's going on." "Exactly." "I found it." "(screams)" " Oh, my God!" " Jesus, this one's alive." "But look at it." "It barely even can move." "What are you doing?" "This may be our only chance to find out what they want." "They want us dead, Topaz." "No big surprise there." "Who are you?" "Eibon." "Ellie." "My love?" "What do you want?" "To kill the living." "Why?" "Hate the living." "Love the dead." "Why do you want from us?" "To die!" "To die." "Yeah?" "Well, you first." "No!" "Ellie!" "See, I told you." "That's all they ever want." "Can we get out of here now?" "Which way now?" "(growls)" " Any more questions?" " Not really." "(growls)" "Marcus, get the fuck out of here now!" "What's the problem?" "Oh, Marcus, run!" "Oh." "(sniffing)" "Living." "Question?" "Got it now." "Come on, he's dead." "Let's get out of here." " Oh, no." " Come on!" "(sniffing)" "Take him back now." "Stop!" "Paul, thank God, man," " I thought..." " Don't go out there!" "Why not?" "Where's Chas?" "Chas went outside." "He did?" "He made it?" "No, he didn't." "Paul, what do you mean, man?" "What's out there?" "Death." "Listen, listen to me!" "I've been thinking about it the whole time I was hiding." "And the only thing I can figure is that when we turned on that machine, it put us in some kind of limbo." "How is that possible?" "Are cadavers coming back from the dead a common thing in your world?" "Yeah, kind of..." "Well, what are we gonna do then?" "Well, dude, there's only one thing we can do." "We got to shut the damn thing off." "How?" "Those things are down there." "And call me nuts but I don't think they're just going to let us go there and turn that thing off." "Well, I don't know, man, but we better do something or we're gonna end up like the others." "He's right." "There's no way to escape your fate." "So why don't you come with us and die like you're supposed to?" "No." "If you want us, you're to have to catch us, you undead fuck." "Yeah, and we're fast!" "Just how I like it." "Messy." "Wait a minute!" "Look at you, man, you're just one!" "So what's to stop us from coming up there and knocking your ass back in the grave where it belongs?" "Just one?" "Oh, now what?" "(growling)" "Party time." "Time to die." "What are we gonna do?" "We've got two choices." "Fight or die!" "Oh, man, those aren't the options I was looking for." "Topaz, stay behind us!" "I didn't go to rape prevention classes to be the token damsel here." "Why didn't you tell me you had that thing before?" "I don't know." "Dave, I just got one thing to say to you, man." "Yeah, what's that?" "This is all your fault and if I die, you better dedicate that Fango award to me." "Deal!" "(screams)" "(growls)" "Oh, that's just great!" "(growls)" "(screams)" "(growls)" "No, no, no!" "Topaz!" "(screams)" "Move it!" " Grab your case." " What?" "Just do it." "Grab it!" "Come on!" "Find something to barricade the door." "(door slamming)" "No!" "(coughs)" "No!" "(screams)" "(cries)" "Oh my god, Marcus!" "Oh, god!" "So, you want to know my secrets?" "Please, don't kill me." "I'm not going to, my lovely." "You want to know my secrets, then I shall show them to you first hand." "But I think I'll play a while." "You are so much prettier than my wife." "No!" "Stop!" "Do you pray, pretty thing?" "(door slamming)" "What are we going to do?" "We got to go back down to the lab and save Topaz." "We could just wait until dawn, maybe they'll go away." "They'll go away at dawn." "Check your watch, man." "Time doesn't exist." "You were right, whatever that machine is, it's trapped us in some kind of netherworld." "There won't be another dawn for us unless we don't destroy that thing." "Well, how are we going to do that, man?" "We have no guns, we have no weapons, we've got nothing." "It's like you said, they're not going to just let us just walk in there." "Actually, that's exactly what I had in mind." "That's it, man." "What are these?" "Those are those new remote squibs I scored." "Looks like we won't get a chance to use those though, huh?" "Here, take them, you never know." "Foreshadowing?" "Hardly, but we need everything we can use." "That reminds me." "(clears throat)" "I was saving this for when the shoot was over, but given the circumstances... (door slamming continues)" "Cheers, bro." "(exhales)" "You think this is going to work?" "I don't know." "If we stay here, those things are going to get in here sooner or later." "Hey, man, save some of that, we don't want to be drunk and do this." "Yeah." "We might be able to use it too." "(exhales)" " You ready?" " No!" "Not really." "But let's do it." "(exhales)" "You realize, but... if we get through this, we're going to have one hell of a movie on our hands." "Yeah, bet that John Carpenter never had to go through this to get Halloween made." "Yeah." "Well." "Whatever." "(exhales)" "(growling)" "Remember, slow, stiff moves." "(growling)" "No, stop it!" "Stop it, please!" "Stop!" "Make them stop, please!" "Don't worry, they won't kill you." "I have other plans for you." "It has occurred to me that" "I've never experimented with a living entity before." "You could be the key to bring our two worlds together." "Then we could extinguish all the disgusting life from your world." "Glorious mega death." "(spits)" "Then do it, If that's what you want so badly, then just fucking do it and get it over with." "Yes, it is time." "Dude, I can't believe that worked." " Dude, you look rad!" " You look rad!" "Yeah, kiss my ass, KMP." "Yeah." "Ugh!" "So, what's the plan when we get in there?" "I don't know." " What?" " What do you want, man," "I'm scared shitless." " Oh, great!" " I'm just going with my gut." "David!" "You know, she might not be alive." "Yeah, I know." "Topaz:" "No!" " She's alive." " She's alive." "Topaz:" "No, stop!" "Topaz:" "Stop it!" "Make them stop!" "Topaz:" "Help me!" "Topaz:" "Stop it!" "Eibon:" "You killed my wife." "Eibon:" "Now you'll take her place." "Topaz:" "Someone, please help me!" "Okay, you grab the TV." "And when I say, we'll rush in." "You throw that thing at the machine, and distract them" " and I'll go get Topaz." " What?" "Dude, you want me to throw a TV at them?" "Well, you've got a better idea?" "Let's hear it." "If not, time's up and Topaz is dead." "Fine." "Fuck it." "I will throw the fucking TV!" "Okay, new plan." "Why fight for such a wasted thing as life?" "You are about to be reawakened and become part of a new world." "A world where loss and pain are nonexistent." "This is salvation, and not damnation." "Fuck you." "Perhaps when you return." "Put her in the chamber!" "Stop!" " No!" " Hey!" "Creepazoid!" "(groans)" "No!" "Kill him!" "(growling)" "(panting)" "Let her go!" "Come on." "Come on!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "That's it." "(growls)" "Come on!" "That's right." "Let's play a little game!" "You guys are gonna like this one." "Come on, come on!" "It's called zombie barbecue!" "Here we go." "Lights!" "Camera!" "Action!" "(groaning)" "I said let her go!" "You're the only one left, all your things are gone." "Not all of them." "(coughing)" "That's a wrap!" "Oh, that's a wrap." "Shelly?" "Paul?" "Shelly!" "Shelly, you're alive." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God, I thought you were..." "Kiss me, lover boy." "(screams)" "God!" "You may have stopped the others, but there is always more dead." "I think this one could be most entertaining." "You know, I think I'm over this whole Goth thing." "(screams)" "Shut down the machine, now!" "(laughs)" "You living fools, you have destroyed your only way out of here." "The portal cannot be closed now that the chamber is destroyed." "You have damned yourselves." "I have won." "That's a wrap, fucker." "Paul." " Fuck!" " Oh, goddamn it." "Dave!" "There you are." "I'm okay." "I got 'em bad, (coughs) the zombie barbecue." " Paul." " Fuck!" "She scratched me, dude." "She scratched me." "She scratched me." "I don't want to die, not like this." "Hang on, man." "They are coming!" "Dave, go!" "I'm not fucking leaving you, man!" "Get the fuck out of here, Dave, go!" " Dave, we have to go!" " Get out of here!" "(growls)" "David." "(growling)" "What do we do now?" "Try to live." "(birds squawk)"