"Fred, cut that out." "Fred, you get out of my tulip bed." "The idea!" "What's the matter, Mommy?" "Oh, Fred's trying to bury his bone in my tulip bed." "Oh, that's naughty, Fred." "Yes, that's naughty, Fred." "Especially when Mama's trying to win a prize." "A prize?" "Yeah, the garden club's gonna give a prize for the best-looking garden tomorrow, and Mama wants to win the prize." "Hear that, Fred?" "Yeah, you hear that, Fred?" "Now, you just take your old bone and skedaddle." "Here, you take it, honey, and call him." "Come on, Fred." "Go on, go on, Fred." "Come on, Fred." "Go on." "Come on, Fred." "You go on." "Come on, Fred." "Call him." "Come on, Fred." "Go and get him, honey." "Don't let him run in the street." "Fred!" "Ricky, come back, honey!" "Here, now, you carry him, dear." "Take him way outside there, now." "Now, you stay out of here, Fred." "Hi, honey." "Hi." "Oh... how do you think my tulips look?" "Oh, they're just beautiful." "Do you think I can win a prize?" "Well, I don't know, Lucy." "I was just next door at Betty Ramsey's, and her tulips are beautiful, too." "In fact, her whole garden's just gorgeous." "She really has a green thumb." "Oh, this isn't work-- it's fun." "You know, you ought to have a garden, Ethel." "Then you could have fresh flowers all the time." "Oh, who has to work so hard?" "I just went down to the village gift shop and bought some wax tulips, and you can't tell the difference." "Wax tulips!" "Oh, Ethel!" "How can you live with a substitute when you could have the real thing?" "I don't know." "I've been asking myself that ever since I married Fred." "You know, I-I think I really do have a chance to win that prize tomorrow." "I hope so, honey, but remember, now," "Betty's won the cup three years in a row." "That's before I moved to Westport." "Gee, I'd get a big kick out of beating her." "She thinks she's so smart." "You know, the way she brags about the cross-pollination she does, you'd think she was a bee." "That's what I like-- a nice, friendly rivalry between friends." "Well, she thinks she knows everything." "She's always talking about root rot and compost heaps and aphids." "and all that stuff." "Shh, here comes the queen bee." "Hi." "Hi, Betty, dear." "I'm going to New York to meet Ralph, but I had to stop by and see how your garden looks." "Oh, Lucy, it's lovely." "Oh, can't compare with your garden, Betty." "Oh, I don't know." "You're going to be pretty stiff competition." "Well, I know it hasn't got a chance against your garden." "As a matter of fact, I was just looking at it and I was thinking it looks so ratty" "I ought to plow it under and plant rutabagas." "Why, this is one of the prettiest gardens" "I've ever seen..." "Well, thanks, Betty." "For a beginner." "For a beginner?" "I'll bet you when the judges award the prizes tomorrow, you're gonna walk away with..." "at least second or third." "And who do you think's gonna walk away with first, Betty?" "Well, three years in a row with the same bulbs, the same soil..." "And the same shy, modest gardener." "Lucy, that wasn't a very nice thing to say." "Well, it wasn't very nice of you to call me a beginner." "Now, Lucy..." "Dear, you are a rank beginner." "You don't know the first thing about gardening." "I'll match my tulips against the blooms from your burned-out bulbs any day." "Oh, now look, why doesn't everybody take her green thumb and go to a neutral corner?" "You keep out of this, Ethel." "Yeah, butt out, Ethel." "We'll just see who wins tomorrow." "Yeah, we'll just see." "And if I were you, Lucy," "I wouldn't clear a place on your mantel for that cup." "I hope all your tulips get root rot!" "Well, now, that was a pretty exchange." "Well, she makes me so mad." "There's no reason why I can't win that prize tomorrow." "My tulips are perfect." "My roses are beautiful and my lawn..." "Oh, good heavens, the lawn." "Ricky forgot to mow the lawn." "Well, it does look kind of shaggy." "He promised me faithfully he'd get this mowing done in time for the judging tomorrow." "Husbands make me so mad." "They're always promising you they'll do something for you, and then they don't do it." "Well, that's one problem I never have with Fred." "You don't?" "Nope." "Never promises to do anything for me in the first place." "Oh..." "Come on, let's go find my reluctant grass cutter." "Okay." "Rick, you asleep?" "No, Fred, just relaxing." "Okay." "You think you'd maybe like to go down to the village?" "We could browse around the hardware store and kind of poke at the power tools." "No, not today, Fred." "My day off." "Wouldn't move off this couch if my foot was on fire." "Ricky?" "Oh, hi, honey." "Do you think if a person makes a promise, he should keep it?" "Sure, honey." "And if a husband makes a promise to his wife and doesn't keep it, isn't he a cad?" "I guess so." "Then why didn't you cut the grass?" "Hi, Ethel." "What have you got to say?" "Well, it looks like you're married to a cad." "Ricky!" "The judges are coming tomorrow, and the lawn looks terrible!" "Look, honey, it's my day off." "I don't feel like pushing a lawnmower all afternoon." "But the grass is a foot high." "What am I going to do?" "Maybe you could rent a couple of sheep for the day." "Oh, you two are a big help." "Lucy's trying so hard to beat Betty and win that prize." "Ralph cut the grass for Betty." "Well, I would, too, if I had a power mower like Ralph has." "Well, good, 'cause Ralph said that you could borrow his lawnmower any day you want, so then it's all settled." "Except that today is not the day I want to borrow it." "You promised to cut the grass," "Enrique Alberto Ricardo y De Acha, the Third." "Well, are you going to do it?" "When she uses my full name, I'm cooked." "Go help him, Fred." "I will not." "You go out there and help him," "Frederick Hobart Edie Mertz, the First." "Hobart, huh?" "Hey, the boys are doing a good job on the lawn." "Yeah." "Are you ready to go to town?" "Soon as I finish my list here." "Come on, Rick, how about it?" "Nothing doing." "Get out of my way." "I'm not moving." "Now, Fred, for the last time, I'm warning you!" "What's going on?" "Now, Fred, I'm telling you for the last time, I want to cut the lawn where you're standing." "Get out of my way!" "I'm not moving till you let me take my turn and quit trying to hog it all." "What are you arguing about?" "Wh-What's-What's the matter?" "Fred won't get out of my way." "It's Ricky." "He won't let me take my turn on the mower." "It's not your turn yet!" "I still got a whole minute to go." "Not by my watch, you haven't." "Oh, come on, now." "You must be able to settle this peacefully." "I'd love to, if he just gets out of my way." "I'm not getting out of his way till he lets me take my turn." "He's been on that mower so long, you'd think he was glued to the seat." "Come on, Ricky, let Fred have his turn." "I don't have to let him have his turn." "It's not his lawnmower." "Well, it's not yours, either." "Well, it's my lawn!" "Oh, now, now, kiddies." "Come on, take your turns like little gentlemen." "Well... all right." "Go on, take your old turn." "Your darn tooting, I will." "Oh, come on, let's go." "Oh, now wait!" "Do you think it's safe to leave the children here with..." "all by themselves?" "They may get to fighting again over that toy." "Well, I'll tell Little Ricky to keep his eye on them." "How do you start this thing?" "Figure it out for yourself." "Oh, gee, isn't it a beautiful day?" "Yeah, and the lawn looks great-- what they've cut of it." "Yeah." "I wonder why they left the mower out by the garage." "Where do you think they've gone?" "Probably in the kitchen having a cold drink." "Hey!" "They're not in there." "Ricky!" "Fred!" "That's funny." "Well, they can't have gone far, honey, with the lawn only half-mowed." "Oh, they haven't gone far, huh?" "Just to Yankee Stadium." "What?" ""Harry Munson had some tickets" ""for the baseball game, and we took Little Ricky with us."" "Well, what are they gonna do about the lawn?" "It says they'll finish it in the morning." "Oh, well, then that's all right." "All right, my foot!" "I have no idea how early those judges are coming in the morning." "Oh, honestly!" "If they hadn't spent so much time arguing about whose turn it was they could've had it finished." "Well, I guess there's just one thing to do." "What?" "I'll have to finish the lawn myself." "You?" "!" "You don't know anything about running a power mower." "Well, what is there to know?" "I know how to drive a car." "It can't be any harder than that." "Come on." "Interesting little machine, isn't it?" "I wonder how you get it started." "Oh, fine." "Oh, look, it's got a crank." "I guess you crank it like the old Model T's, remember?" "That was quite a bit before my time." "Oh, come, now, Ethel." "I only go back as far as the Stutz Bearcat and no farther." "Oh..." "Hey, this looks like it might be fun." "Come on, crank her up, girl." "Gee, it's got gear shifts and everything." "Oh, you got to get a good grip." "You got to get a good grip and go around there." "Lots of elbow grease." "Steady-- steady around." "Oh, honey, you're not doing it right." "This is exactly the way we used to cr..." "Same way you used to crank, huh?" "Well, I've been watching those old movies on television." "Oh..." "They... do it there." "Yeah." "The late, late show." "Yeah." "Come on, crank her up." "There she goes!" "Hooray!" "Ethel, what do I do?" "Switch it off, Lucy!" "I can't!" "Switch it off!" "No, no!" "Well..." "Lucy, turn it off!" "I don't know how to turn it off!" "There must be a switch there someplace!" "A switch, a switch!" "Lucy, what are you do...?" "!" "I don't know where the switch is!" "What?" "!" "I don't know where..." "Call the hardware store!" "Ask Mr. Becks how to turn it off!" "The hardware store?" "Yeah!" "Mr. Becks?" "Hurry up, I'm getting dizzy!" "Operator, get me the Village Hardware Store, quick." "Hello, Mr. Becks, this is Mrs. Mertz." "You know that power lawnmower that you sold...?" "I'm fine, thank you." "You know that power lawnmower that you sold, uh...?" "He's fine, too, thank you." "You know that power lawnmower that you sold to the Ramseys?" "Well, how do you turn it off?" "Oh, Mr. Becks, I haven't got time to look at a book of instructions." "M-Mrs." "Ricardo's outside, and she's on the thing, and she's going around in circles!" "Yes, in circles!" "Huh?" "Ethel!" "Oh, Mr. Becks, she's not going in circles anymore." "She's-she's running amok." "Huh?" "What?" "Ethel...!" "Now she's running amok backwards." "Huh?" "Well, ho... just tell me how to shut it off." "Ethel!" "There she goes again." "What?" "A little gadget that's by the carburetor?" "Well, where's the carburetor?" "Oh, is that the carburetor?" "Oh, now, what do I do?" "I push down on that... by the little gadget, and that..." "O-Okay." "Just a minute and I'll see if I can find the gadget." "Lucy!" "Lucy!" "Lucy!" "Mr. Becks, I can't even find Mrs. Ricardo." "What?" "She just went by your store heading for Main Street?" "Oh, no!" "Lucy?" "Oh, it's you, Grace." "Uh, this is Ethel." "No, Lucy isn't here just now." "Well, to tell you the truth, I don't know just where she is, but the last I heard she was on a lawnmower heading toward Main Street." "No, I haven't been nipping at the cooking sherry." "Grace, I think I hear her coming now." "Yeah, she's heading this way." "Call back later, Grace." "Oh, Lucy." "Hi." "Are you all right?" "Yeah, I'm all right." "Oh, honey!" "Poor little thing." "How'd you finally get that thing stopped?" "Well, you know that hedge out here that we were thinking of getting rid of?" "Yeah." "We don't have to think about that anymore." "Did you hurt the lawnmower?" "No, not a scratch on it." "That thing is indestructible." "Oh, Lucy." "Where have you been?" "Oh, where haven't I been?" "I've seen parts of Connecticut I didn't even know existed." "First that galloping grass cutter took me straight through the main street of town." "The way people came out of their houses to watch me ride by you'd have thought I was Lady Godiva." "Then what happened?" "Well, the next thing I knew I was on the Boston Post Road." "The Boston Post Road?" "Why did you go on a busy highway like that?" "It wasn't my idea." "That beast has a mind of its own." "I stayed on that Post Road for a mile and a half." "You didn't." "Yeah." "Against traffic all the way." "Oh, Lucy." "You must've been terrified." "Oh, I was." "If I ever let my hair get dark at the roots" "I'm afraid it's going to be snow white." "Lucy?" "What?" "Was there much damage?" "Well, every lawn between here and town is half-mowed." "Well, thank goodness nothing really serious happened." "That's what you think." "Just now as I was coming through the Ramseys' yard" "I plowed right through Betty's garden." "Lucy... what happened?" "All of them?" "All the tulips." "When I looked back, all I saw was a sea of stems." "Oh, honey." "Oh, what am I ever going to tell Betty?" "She'll think I did it on purpose." "Oh, now, don't get too upset." "Uh... maybe you could get some tulips at the nursery a-and put them in Betty's garden before she gets back from town." "Oh, honey, there isn't a tulip left in the nursery with a bloom on it." "I was just there yesterday." "I feel so bad, I could cry." "Oh, dear." "I know what you could do." "What?" "You can take your tulips and transplant them into Betty's garden." "Ethel, I feel bad, but not that bad." "Now, Lucy..." "Well, maybe I'd better." "I ruined hers." "I guess it's only fair I give her mine." "Good girl." "Oh, gee, when I think of the loving care" "I've given those little pink blooms." "Wait a minute." "Betty's tulips are yellow." "I could never fool her with my pink ones." "It won't work..." "thank goodness." "Gee, that's right, they were yellow, just like those wax ones I bought." "That's it!" "Wax tulips!" "I'll go down to the gift shop and get some wax tulips and put them in there." "Come on!" "Lucy?" "While we're down there, can I get some liniment for my shoulder?" "Yeah." "the Boston Post Road and headed for home." "Wait a minute." "Wait a minute." "You mean to tell me you were going the wrong way on the Boston Post Road?" "Yeah, honey." "But nothing happened-- no accidents or anything." "All that happened was that people slammed on their brakes and pulled over to the side." "when they saw me coming." "Then what happened?" "Well, like I said, I-I finally got the fool thing headed for home, and I went along pretty good-- except for an occasional detour into someone's yard, you know-- until I got to the Ramseys'." "And then that infernal machine had the nerve to plow right through Betty's tulip bed." "Oh, no." "Yeah." "How did you finally get it stopped?" "Well, I-I cleverly ran it into that hedge" "I wanted to get rid of." "How come you didn't turn that little switch by the carburetor and shut off the motor?" "Because I didn't know anything about the little switch by the carburetor to shut off the motor!" "Now, don't pick on him just because you insisted on fooling around with a machine that you didn't know anything about." "And I wouldn't have been fooling around with a machine I didn't know anything about if you hadn't gone tooting off to some baseball game." "Well, you know something, honey, you're right." "I let you down." "The minute the Ramseys get home, I'll go over there and I'll tell Betty that it was all my fault." "Oh, well, honey, thank you, but that won't be necessary." "What do you mean?" "Well, I know how Betty feels about her garden, so I replaced them." "Oh, good." "You went to the nursery and bought some new ones and transplanted them, huh?" "Yeah, well..." "No, the nursery was all out of tulips, so I went to the gift shop and got some wax ones." "Wax tulips?" "!" "Yeah." "Oh, you think you're going to fool the judges with wax tulips?" "Oh, yes." "Yeah, Rick." "They look real." "You can't tell the difference." "Oh, come on, now." "Any child can tell the difference between a real tulip and a... and a wax tulip." "Well, honey, do you mean that I wouldn't be able to get wax tulips that look as good as these?" "Never in a million years." "These are wax." "What are you talking about?" "Yeah." "By George, they are wax." "Yeah." "You know something, maybe these could fool the judges." "Oh, I hope so, for Betty's sake." "And look, for my sake, when are you going to finish cutting the grass?" "I'm going to do it right now." "Right now?" "!" "Yeah." "It's so dark, you won't know what you're doing." "Oh, yes, I'll be able to see all right." "Besides this thing was all my fault." "The sooner I get it out of the way, the better I'll feel." "Well, okay, honey." "Fred, we're having dinner over here tonight, so just read the paper for a while, while we fix it." "Okay, okay." "Fred, where are the girls?" "In the kitchen." "Come on." "Where we going?" "I want you to go to the gift shop for me." "What for?" "Well, you know how Lucy said that it was too dark out there to see what I was doing?" "Yeah." "She was right." "Do you mean...?" "Yeah, Lucy's tulips are going to be wax, too." "Come on, let's go." "Oh, no." "...some of those marigolds..." "Well, the judges are still over at the Ramseys'." "Oh, honey, is it hot, or am I just nervous?" "Both-- it's hot, all right." "Why are they taking so long over there?" "I don't know." "They didn't find out about the tulips, did they?" "Now, now, honey, calm down." "Everything will be all right, dear." "Oh, I just hope those judges are nearsighted." "That makes two of us." "What?" "Uh... we don't want Betty to find out..." "Lucy!" "Do you know anything about this outrage?" "What outrage?" "The judges have disqualified me." "Someone replaced my tulips with wax ones." "Oh, Betty, I'm sorry." "I can explain everything." "Then you did do it." "Oh, Lucy, I knew you wanted to win, but I didn't think you'd stoop so low." "Oh, now, Betty, it was an accident." "I ran amok on that lawnmower of yours and just plowed through your garden." "And I-I tried to fix it by replacing your tulips with the wax ones." "I'm sorry." "Well, you fixed it, all right." "You fixed it so I couldn't possibly win." "Oh, I really..." "I'm terribly sorry, Betty." "Look, if I win the cup, I'll give it to you." "Well, that won't be necessary." "No, I insist, Betty." "Uh, Betty, by the way, how did the judges find out that the tulips were wax?" "Well, it wasn't hard." "They were melting in the sun." "Lucy, the judges are coming up the walk." "The judges are here." "This is it." "Yeah, this is it, all right." "Lucy, honey?" "Yeah?" "Uh, I got to tell you something, dear." "What?" "Yeah?" "Huh?" "!" "Good luck." "Oh." "Oh, please..." "Lovely, just lovely." "Oh, thank you." "Yes." "Certainly the nicest grounds we've seen." "Oh..." "Well, I don't think there's any doubt about who the winner will be." "You mean Lucy's won?" "Oh, honey." "Well, as long as it couldn't be me," "I'm glad it was you, Lucy." "Oh, thanks, Betty, but my offer still goes about that cup." "Oh, no!" "Well, look, let's all go inside and have some lemonade, eh?" "It's very hot outside." "These are remarkably perfect tulips." "Yeah, well, let's..." "Well, I certainly loved raising them." "You see, I started from scratch." "I-I didn't have a compost heap." "I didn't have anything, 'cause I just moved here, as you well know." "Let's go inside and have some lemonade." "Huh?" "Everybody?" "And I just had a wonderful..." "We can talk about it inside, honey." "If you notice these wonderful little, uh..." "Oh, no!" "My tulips, my tulips!" "What's happening to my baby tulips?" "My little pink blooms!" "Oh, gracious!" "These are wax, too." "Wax!" "Well!" "Now, just a minute." "Well, what?" "Just a minute, just a minute, girls." "Honey?" "Uh..." "Betty didn't have anything to do about this." "I can 'splain." "You?" "Well, start "splaining."" "Well, now, this might be very hard to believe, but you know, like you said last night, it was too dark outside to see what" "I was doing?" "Yes?" "Yes?" "Well, you was right." "It was dark." "Oh, it was so dark!" "It was darker than the inside of your sombrero." "And, uh, I was mowing the lawn very nicely." "I mean, you really..." "I don't know how you did so well on the Boston Post Road, I..." "Never mind!" "Here again are Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz for our alternate sponsors." "Listen, honey, tonight I gotta tell the ladies about the new Squiz Cumb Lilt Home Permanent, and I need your help." "Oh, you sure do." "It's the new Squeeze Comb Lilt Home Permanent." "Ah, you don't understand, honey." "Just tell me the name of this thin' here." "That's the Squiz Cumb." "I mean it's a Squeeze Comb." "No, no, no, no, this." "Oh, that's the comb tip." "Thank you." "Now, this cumb tip cumbs the lotion right into your hair out of a squiz bottle." "Remember how we gals used to dip-dab those messy lotions on?" "Well, that's out." "With new Lilt, you just squeeze the bottle and it combs itself right in." "It's so simple, even he could do it if he had to." "Yeah, is izzy." "Yeah, it's izzy." "And you get the most beautiful, longest-lasting home permanent you've ever had." "Thank you, honey." "Now, ladies, remember this name:" "Squiz" "Cumb" "Lilt." "Squeeze Comb Lilt Home Permanent." ""I Love Lucy"" "starring Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz has been presented for your pleasure by Instant Sanka, the hardy coffee you can drink as strong as you like, it still can't affect your nerves."