"Four coins, nothing in the hands." "Uno, dos, tres, cuatro." "Watch carefully." "If you blink, you'll miss it." "Coin number one jumps." "Or maybe I want to jump over there." "Maybe it'll jump over there." "The third coin could go in that corner." "The last one, the hardest one." "There it is." "How does he do it?" "Why does he bother?" "Here." "Not really." "That's a lovely watch." "Can I borrow that?" "Thank you." "I'll trade you." "Your watch for this chick." "He says, "Bring it back. "" "Oh." "Don't you like chicks?" "Okay." "He says he will make this bullet disappear in your skull." "Where is the watch?" "That's a very good question." "Why don't you ask him?" "How much?" "Seventy kilos." "It is the biggest shipment yet." "Can you handle it?" "Yes." "Absolutely." "No problem." "No problem." "He says there is only one magic trick he wishes to see." "He wants to see this heroin disappear from Thailand, and magically reappear on the streets of San Francisco." "Is that a trick you can do?" "Absolutely." "Abracadabra!" "It's a jungle out there" "Disorder and confusion everywhere" "No one seems to care" "Well, I do" "Hey, who's in charge here?" "It's a jungle out there" "Poison in the very air we breathe" "You know what's in the water that you drink?" "Well, I do" "It's amazing" "People think I'm crazy 'cause I worry all the time" "If you paid attention, you'd be worried, too" "You better pay attention" "Or this world we love so much might just kill you" "I could be wrong now" "But I don't think so" "'Cause there's a jungle out there" "It's a jungle out there" "This goes here." "Add this to this." "You go here." "There you are." "I've been looking for you." "Subtracting that, subtracting that." "Subtracting that, and..." "No." "That is absolutely not right." "At all." "Applause, applause, applause." "Different music cue." "Show the cage." "It's gone." "Oohs and ahs from the audience." "That's when you bring on the cabinet." "You wheel it on." "There you go, big smile." "Give it a spin." "Right there." "Not too fast." "Let them see it." "That's lovely." "Okay." "Then we open..." "Round about there is good." "We open the cabinet." "Nothing inside." "Everyone can see it's empty." "Nothing up my sleeves." "You go inside." "Like this?" "Perfection." "And..." "Who's that?" "Dorfman, what are you doing here?" "This is a closed rehearsal." "Right." "Sorry." "I'm not looking." "I can't see anything." "Well, I can see my feet, actually." "I hope that's all right." "I am looking at them." "This better be important, okay?" "Yes, it is." "It's about your taxes." "My what?" "Why are you whispering?" "Well, 'cause it's private." "It's Tanya." "Hi, Tanya." "Oh, my." "That is fantastic." "You are really the Great Torini." "And I haven't even met the other Torinis." "I don't even know if there are halfway decent Torinis." "You know, it's funny." "I'm thinking about doing something similar in my own act." "As you know, I'm a magician as well." "Yes, Kevin." "I've seen your act on amateur night." "Well, I'm not in your league, of course." "Not yet, anyway." "Here's the trick." "I use a cat." "Mmm-hmm." "A little Persian kitten." "Hold it out like this." "Cover it with a handkerchief." "Abraca-Dorfman." "It's a butterfly." "Kevin, I'm very busy here." "I realize that." "Little problem." "I've been looking at your receipts from your last world tour." "Let me show you this." "These are your airline receipts." "Right." "Your equipment, according to these, weighed more on the way back than on the way there." "Really?" "Yeah." "I checked the records." "Same thing happened last year and the year before that." "The airlines are ripping you off." "I say we get a lawyer." "I say we sue the SOBs." "You and me." "Let's get 'em." "Yes." "Well." "Good work, Kevin." "As always." "Thank you." "Here's what we're gonna do." "Okay." "Close the book." "Okay." "Go ahead, close it." "All right." "I want you to forget about it." "Mmm-hmm." "Put it out of your mind." "We'll take care of this next week." "Right now I have a bigger problem." "I need your help." "Okay." "I'm supposed to headline here Saturday night." "Something's just come up." "Oh, my goodness." "I'm taking Tanya to Reno." "Truth is, I'm going to ask her to marry me." "Get out." "That is wonderful." "Yeah." "Anyway, point is I need someone to fill in, and I wondered if you'd be interested." "Oh, my goodness." "Am I ready?" "Kevin, I've been watching you." "You're a natural." "That's true." "See, magic is all about self-confidence." "If you believe you can do something, you can do it." "Then I can do it." "I can do it and I'm gonna do it." "Okay." "Thank you." "Mr. Torini, you will not regret this." "Okay." "Well, you might regret it a little bit." "But you won't regret it that much." "Okay." "And..." "Thank you." "Okay." "Um." "Has anyone seen my cane?" "I'm kind of in the mood to take a little stroll." "Oh, there it is." "I'm going to need everybody in the crowd to say Abraca-Dorfman." "Abra..." "Abraca-Dorfman." "Abraca-Dorfman." "Wow." "Wow!" "Oh." "How is that happening?" "Wow, that's a good one." "How did you do that?" "It's not over yet." "Now it's over." "I'm sorry, but a magician never reveals his tricks." "Okay, I'll tell you." "It's a special wire." "You see, it's painted black." "So it's invisible." "You see?" "You can't see it in the light, and it's attached to this coat rack." "You didn't even..." "You didn't even see the coat rack." "Okay, wait." "Time out." "Ow, that's really..." "Kevin." "Yeah." "I'm just curious." "How did you get this job?" "It's an interesting story, actually." "Um, I have a..." "I have a friend at the, uh, at the Castle, and, uh, Karl Torini, he's more of a..." "More of a mentor, really." "But a friend." "We were chatting it up yesterday, as friends do, about a lot of things." "But mostly travel." "And I was pointing out to him that he is getting overcharged." "Oh, yeah." "The airlines have been overcharging him for years." "How can his equipment weigh more on his return trips than when he left?" "Anyway, to make a long..." "Okay." "One second." "To make a long story short..." "It's a little late for that." "...he had to go to Reno and, uh, kind of asked me to fill in for him." "Yeah." "Well, we should..." "Okay." "And now, it's time for my pièce de résistance." "That means piece of resistance." "I call it the vanishing man." "Or lady." "The vanishing man or lady." "It's a temporary title." "I'm going to need a volunteer from the audience." "Anyone want to volunteer?" "Just raise your hand." "Raise your hand up high to get up onstage..." "Go." "Come on." "...with the magician." "Oh, you, sir!" "So gracious of you." "I like that jacket." "Did somebody have a garage sale?" "I'm joking, folks, but seriously." "Have we ever met before?" "Kevin, I'm not gonna get in that box." "Please get in the box real quick for a second." "No." "I was..." "Just real quick." "I was buried..." "No, I'm not." "Just one second." "Just real quick in the box." "I was buried alive once, and, um..." "I understand." "You know, there's just no way on God's green earth that I'm going to get into that box." "So..." "You're disappointing a lot of my fans out there." "Just tell them you..." "Get in the box for a second, real quick." "Just real quick, get in the box." "No." "A lot of people are going to go home disappointed tonight." "Dorfman, ten minutes." "You okay?" "Well." "Yeah." "Yeah." "I'm good." "I'm good." "Awesome." "Magic Castle." "Yeah." "Sure." "Yeah." "Yeah, hold on." "Hold on." "Everybody, it's Torini!" "He's calling from Nevada." "Says he has some big news." "Am I on speaker phone?" "Yes, sir." "Go ahead." "We're all here." "Tanya and I have some great news." "We wanted everyone to know." "Tanya, do you want to tell them?" "No, you go ahead." "Okay." "I just asked Tanya to marry me, and she said yes." "Mr. Torini." "Yes." "Hi, it's Kevin Dorfman, from back..." "From backstage here." "I just wanted to let you know," "I am dedicating my show to you and Tanya." "Oh, Kevin." "That's the icing on the cake." "This is for you guys." "That's great." "Damn it." "And please let that be your card." "No." "Is this your card that I magically pulled out of your ear?" "No." "Is it a heart or a spade?" "Red or black?" "Is it a jack of clubs?" "Say yes." "Uh, yes." "Excellent." "Thank you so much." "Jack of clubs it was." "Yeah." "Give her a round of applause." "She was excellent." "Um..." "Thank you." "And now, who wants to get sawed in half?" "No?" "No one?" "All right." "You're leaving?" "Okay, excellent." "Thanks so much." "Thanks so much for coming." "Um, nobody wants to be sawed in half." "No one?" "Fantastic." "Moving on." "For my final trick..." "I'd like for everybody..." "Thank you, sir." "I'd like for everybody to say hello to Fluffy." "Hi, Fluffy." "Hello, Fluffy." "Here he is." "Fluffy, say hello to everybody." "Go in the box." "Whoa." "Easy." "Fluffy." "Come on." "Here we go." "Okay." "Okay." "Please, for the love of God." "Abraca-Dorfman." "Oh!" "Yeah." "Okay!" "Yeah." "Thank you so much." "Yeah." "Thank you." "Okay, excellent." "Um..." "My name is Kevin Dorfman." "Uh, if you like the show, please tell management." "And, uh..." "Oh, my goodness." "Don't look at my pants." "Please." "Everything's fine." "It's all part of the act." "This is part of it." "Ah!" "That really hurt me." "Nibbling." "Ah." "Okay." "Hurt a little bit." "I'm going to leave now." "Thank you so much." "Thank you." "I thought they only ate lettuce." "What did you think?" "Give me a minute." "I'm still absorbing it." "You know, I..." "I didn't think it was that bad." "Natalie, there are three dead doves on that stage." "Presentation, B-." "Energy, A-." "Execution, let's be honest, D+." "D- ." "But don't let it get you down." "You've got to just focus..." "What are you doing here?" "What do you think is keeping him?" "Shame." "Just a guess." "Mr. Monk, why don't you go look for him and I'll wait here?" "Oh, excuse me." "I'm looking for the dressing rooms." "Thank you." "Kevin?" "It's Adrian." "Hey, congratulations." "Kevin?" "Are you trying to levitate?" "Kevin?" "He was just..." "Just a kid." "Did he say anything?" "I mean, was he in trouble?" "Look." "I know this is tough." "If you want to take a step back, go home, everybody here would understand." "I'm here." "Okay." "Let's do it." "Okay." "He was asphyxiated." "Strangled." "Oh, no." "Probably from behind." "The killer used a ligature." "Something thin and strong." "Probably piano wire." "Can I see it?" "We haven't found it yet." "Or he took it with him." "We don't know." "The killer, it's a magician." "What is that?" "Black paint." "They paint their wires so they can't be seen." "A magician." "That's good." "You were the first one back here." "Did you see anybody?" "Mmm-mmm." "No." "There was a maintenance man." "Maybe he saw something." "The maintenance crew doesn't work on Saturdays." "Oh, my God." "I saw him." "You saw him." "I saw the guy." "He was the nicest kid I ever knew." "I mean, last summer, after the hurricane, he came over and cleaned out all my gutters." "Except for the garage." "But we didn't have gutters in the garage." "We have them now." "We didn't have them then." "I put them in three weeks ago." "Yeah, actually, I had to redo the whole roof." "That's a nice picture." "I took that picture." "Oh." "It took me two hours." "I wanted to get one where he wasn't talking." "Huh." "Well, you did it." "Actually, I had to Photoshop it." "Right." "You must be Adrian Monk." "That's right." "And Natalie." "I'm Kevin's Aunt Sheila." "Oh." "Hello." "We're so sorry for your loss." "Oh, thank you, dear." "Oh." "Oh, I just feel like I know you both." "He talked about you all the time." "Yeah." "Oh, God bless him." "We had a little tradition." "He would call me every Sunday and tell me all about his week." "We never missed a Sunday." "Yeah." "I think that's what I'm going to miss most of all." "Our Sunday night chats." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yes, ma'am." "He was very special." "Wait." "I tell a lie." "We did miss one Sunday twelve and a half years ago." "That was the summer I traveled to Italy with my mahjong group." "Oh." "But we made up for it when I got back." "We spoke twice that week." "Oh." "Friday and Sunday." "Imagine that." "Oh!" "Then, there was the time my telephone service was interrupted." "No, wait." "That was a Tuesday." "So, that really would not have affected our..." "I'm sorry." "I just remembered I'm thirsty." "You forgot you were thirsty?" "Oh." "I've just been so busy." "So nice to meet you." "Hello." "So, it's hereditary." "Apparently, it's a dominant trait." "You know what?" "I really am thirsty." "Oh, excuse me." "Where did you get that?" "Oh, it's in the lobby." "Just down the hall." "Hmm." "Excuse me." "I'm..." "I'm looking for the dressing rooms." "Who is that man?" "That's Torini." "That's Kevin's friend." "He's the magician." "The best in the world." "That's what they say." "I'm sorry." "I just wanted to introduce myself." "I'm Adrian Monk." "This is Natalie Teeger." "Yes, of course." "The famous detective." "Karl Torini." "Yes." "My assistant, Tanya Adams." "Hello." "Were you a friend of Kevin's?" "Or are you working on the case?" "Both." "Both." "How's it going?" "Well." "There's nothing to report." "At least not yet." "You worked with Kevin, didn't you?" "Well, I didn't really know him." "I am a featured performer." "He was usually in the back room crunching numbers." "He was filling in for you on Saturday night, wasn't he?" "Oh, yes, that's right." "Uh, it was a last-minute thing." "I took Tanya to Reno." "We got engaged." "Oh, congratulations." "You're not wearing a ring." "Oh, I know, um." "You know, it just happened so fast and we didn't..." "As you can imagine, after what happened." "We were so distraught." "Oh." "Suddenly, a ring just didn't seem so important." "Of course." "Well, if you'll excuse us, we'd like to pay our respects." "Good luck, Mr. Monk." "He's the guy." "Because of the ring?" "Because he's the guy." "I saw him." "I recognize him." "He was there." "Karl Torini?" "He's the guy." "Monk, Karl Torini was in Reno." "As in Reno, Nevada, and he can prove it." "No, no, no." "He's the guy." "Maybe he hired someone." "No." "I saw him." "He was there dressed as a maintenance man." "Captain, he killed Kevin." "Monk, he called the theater from Nevada just before the show." "Well, maybe he called from someplace else." "No." "We already checked." "The phone records are right here." "The call was placed from the Sands Regency Hotel in Reno at 9:55 p. m." "It was made from his hotel room." "It was a direct call." "It was not rerouted." "Right." "Besides, he put the damn phone call on the speaker phone." "There were ten people that heard it." "We got statements from every one of them." "Monk, if you were the DA, what would you say?" "You want me to dig?" "I'II..." "I'll grab a shovel." "I'll dig for you." "But you gotta tell me what to look for." "I don't know." "I don't know." "How long have you two been together?" "Oh." "Six years." "See, Karl was in Toronto." "I was in the audience, believe it or not." "He needed someone to levitate." "I raised my hand." "And now, you're family." "That's right." "Oh." "We bought it last night." "It's official." "Congratulations again." "Oh, look." "Bunnies." "Hello." "Hi, sweeties." "Natalie, don't touch." "No, it's okay." "She can pet them." "No, she can't." "These are Karl's other assistants." "We breed them here." "It's cheaper than buying them." "They're breeding in the house?" "We'll be outside." "No, we won't be outside." "We're staying." "We're not leaving." "Did you know him very well?" "Kevin, I mean." "Um." "He lived in Mr. Monk's building." "He was a neighbor." "Did he have any children?" "No." "Thank God for that." "You don't ever cover them up?" "You leave them out in the open?" "So close to the kitchen?" "Tanya?" "You know, if you know anything about what happened, you can talk to us." "You could call us anytime." "Oh, I don't know anything." "I was just, you know, asking." "I'll go see if Karl's ready." "Mr. Monk." "Mr. Monk, did you hear that?" "I think she knows something." "Uh-huh." "What are you doing?" "Just trying to figure out how it works." "No." "I don't want to know." "It ruins the effect." "Ow!" "Oh, okay." "This one might be real." "Don't play with this one." "Okay." "I won't." "What's that?" "It's called a Zig-Zag Cabinet." "I designed it myself." "Please step away from the cabinet, Mr. Monk." "Secrets of the trade, you understand." "God." "How did you do that?" "Misdirection, Ms. Teeger." "The secret to every illusion." "Making the audience look where they shouldn't be looking." "For example." "Did you see that?" "Watch closely." "If it goes here, then it can't be over here." "If I take it in the left hand and put it over there, then it can't be back over here, can it?" "It's hard to follow." "Sometimes, people think the coin is too small." "I can make it bigger." "Hmm." "Tough room." "I'm sensing a little hostility." "The night Kevin was killed, you were in the theater." "I..." "I saw you backstage." "What?" "Really?" "You were dressed as a maintenance man." "Weren't you?" "Either you're mistaken or you're bluffing." "I was 300 miles away." "And I can prove it." "All right." "Why did you have Kevin work for you that night?" "Well, as I explained to the police, I was leaving town." "I needed someone to fill in." "I'd seen Kevin before and I thought he was quite wonderful." "Ha." "Okay." "We saw Kevin's act." "He was dreadful." "God rest his soul." "You're wasting your time, Mr. Monk." "You know, I called the club." "Just five minutes before Kevin went onstage." "It was a direct call from Reno, Nevada." "I'm sure you checked with the phone company." "Ooh, looks like it's going to rain." "You killed him." "I know you did." "Why would I harm the boy?" "You don't have the why." "And you don't have the how." "Huh." "I love this part." "The look on their face." "When they can't figure it out." "This isn't some trick, Mr. Torini." "This isn't a show." "Kevin was our friend." "He was a good man who never hurt anybody." "Natalie." "He was the sweetest, shyest person I ever met, and he was 34, and his life was just getting started." "This is the most brilliant detective in the world." "He's going to figure out how you did it, and he's going to prove it." "Aren't you?" "Uh..." "I am." "Aren't you?" "Well, if you're going to catch me anyway, I suppose I may as well just confess." "What..." "What?" "What do you mean?" "In fact, I'll even put it in writing." "I hereby confess to the murder of Kevin..." "Dorfman." "... Dorfman." "Thank you." "Signed, Karl" "Torini." "Here you go." "Congratulations." "Abracadabra, Mr. Monk." "Mr. Monk, where are you putting the trash?" "I'm not." "I can't seem to throw anything out." "Me neither." "God." "Natalie, I have to tell you something." "I mean, I have to tell someone." "I feel terrible." "What is it?" "It's Kevin." "He drove me insane." "Oh, Mr. Monk." "No." "He wouldn't shut up." "The man would not shut up." "One time, he had a sore throat." "He talked for two and a half hours about how much it hurt him to talk." "Honest." "God forgive me." "Sometimes, I'd hear him coming down the stairs." "I'd turn off all the lights." "Pretend I wasn't home." "I..." "Mr. Monk." "It's okay, don't feel bad." "Everybody does that." "Sometimes, late at night, when you call me and I see your name on the caller ID, I just..." "Just don't feel bad." "Where's my phone?" "Are you going to answer that?" "Yeah." "Where is it?" "I hear it." "Where did you put it?" "I just put it right here." "Where did you..." "Oh." "It's Randy." "Hello?" "Yeah." "Tell him to hold on." "Randy, hold on." "Set the phone down." "Monk?" "Hello?" "Monk?" "What?" "Secret compartment." "Monk?" "Hey, Monk." "Torini, the magician." "Hello?" "All that equipment." "There must be secret compartments in everything." "How can his equipment weigh more on his return trips than when he left?" "Randy?" "Monk." "Randy, it's Adrian." "Are you there?" "I think so." "Yeah." "I think you just solved the case." "Glad I could help." "Ladies and gentlemen." "Don't panic." "I'm a professional." "Here you go." "All right, here we go." "You know what?" "I never know what to do with the walking cane after that trick." "I say we just get rid of it." "You guys have met the beautiful Tanya." "Yes?" "She looks fabulous in black, doesn't she?" "I think she'd look even better in blue." "And now, ladies and gentlemen, the Zig-Zag Cabinet." "Now, you may have seen other magicians perform this illusion." "They usually have their assistant get into the cabinet." "But I just don't want to lose this one, so I'm going to do the very same trick with a complete stranger." "I need a volunteer." "Could we have the house lights up, please?" "Thank you." "Okay." "Someone's..." "Amazing how everyone just looks the other way." "Volunteer, volunteer." "Oh." "The eager Ms. Teeger." "You're volunteering?" "Yeah." "Really?" "Mmm-hmm." "Actually, I'd rather have your boss up here." "No." "No." "No, thank you." "Ladies and gentlemen, we have a celebrity in the audience tonight." "Adrian Monk, the world-famous detective." "I've been reading a lot about Mr. Monk." "No one has ever outwitted him." "Tonight I'd like to give that a try." "What do you think?" "Yeah?" "Get him up!" "I can't do it." "You have to do it." "Come up." "Adrian Monk." "It's kind of perfect, really." "I..." "I wanted a stranger, and there's really no one stranger than Adrian Monk." "I had more." "Not playing with a full deck, Mr. Monk?" "Thank you." "Okay, Mr. Monk." "Let's bring him up." "Okay." "Come up." "Are you nervous?" "Are you?" "Let's really scramble his brains." "Stand here, please." "Zig-Zag Cabinet." "In you go." "Oh, I forgot." "You're just a little bit claustrophobic, aren't you?" "Well, if you'd rather not give it a try..." "Tanya?" "Would you like to help Mr. Monk with his jacket?" "Uh, no." "She's very good at that." "That's why I'm marrying her." "Perfect." "In you go, Mr. Monk." "In you go." "How are you doing in there, Detective?" "Not so well." "Yes, fabulous." "Lovely." "Okay." "Ladies and gentlemen," "Tanya and I have performed this illusion all over the world." "Do it for Kevin." "In fact, last year" "I accidentally cut a woman in two." "Do it for Kevin." "It's okay." "It's okay." "Do it for Kevin." "She's now living quite happily in Minneapolis and St. Paul." "Comfy?" "Solid steel blades." "Handmade from surgical steel." "Let's cut Mr. Monk in two." "Check that out, Mr. Monk." "One more." "Watch." "Okay." "How are you doing in there, Detective?" "I got you." "I beg your pardon?" "The real money is on the road." "Isn't that what you said?" "And what is that?" "That is a chemical test strip." "Your Zig-Zag Cabinet just tested positive for heroin." "You've been using your props to smuggle drugs into the country." "Here's what happened." "Yes, well, thank you." "I almost forgot to mention, sometimes the cabinet drives people completely batty." "I think we need to descramble him." "Let's go." "Adrian Monk, ladies and gentlemen." "Mr. Monk?" "Mr. Monk?" "He's gone." "What do you mean, you don't know?" "You're the damn magician!" "What happened to him?" "But I don't know what more to tell you." "It's not supposed to be a vanishing act." "It's a simple prop gag." "Look, look." "Sections move back and forth like this, and that's it." "That's the whole gag." "I'm as mystified as you are." "Yeah, well, you better get un-mystified, and fast." "Where's your assistant?" "Probably backstage." "You can scream all you want." "No one ever comes down here." "I'm going to die." "In this room." "You're right." "He's going to kill you, and then he's going to burn your body in that furnace." "No." "I was talking about the soot." "But what you're saying is worse." "It's much, much worse." "Hey." "Any luck?" "He could be anywhere." "There must be 300 rooms in this place." "Gentlemen, as much as I would love to stay," "I have two shows tomorrow." "So, if you want to talk to me again, call my lawyer." "He's a better magician than I am." "Are you okay?" "I fall through trap doors all the time." "I know it hurts." "And look." "I just want you to know this wasn't my idea." "And I'm..." "I'm really sorry." "Sorry enough to..." "To let me go?" "No." "You're not gonna answer that?" "No, it's just an extension." "Pipe tobacco." "Clever." "What is?" "How you killed my friend." "Misdirection, right?" "The secret to every illusion." "You and Torini went to Reno that weekend." "You checked in." "He made sure he was seen." "Exactly 9:55." "That afternoon, he snuck out of the hotel and drove back." "He was down here, in the basement." "He was hiding and waiting." "Then, at 9:55 exactly, you called the theater." "The phone records were right." "The call did originate from Reno." "Magic Castle." "Torini picked up the extension phone." "Hold on." "Everyone assumed he was calling from Nevada." "Everybody, it's Torini." "Am I on speaker phone?" "Yes, sir." "Go ahead." "We're all here." "Tanya and I have some great news." "We wanted everyone to know." "Tanya, do you want to tell them?" "No, you go ahead." "And she said yes." "Nobody knew." "Nobody could tell the killer was already in the building." "Karl, he knows." "He knows." "And I didn't tell him." "I swear I didn't tell him." "He just figured it out." "He did?" "Huh!" "So, what do you think, Mr. Monk?" "You have to admit, the best tricks are the simplest, huh?" "What are we gonna to do?" "Like I told you onstage." "Make him disappear." "Monk!" "Hey!" "Monk!" "Hold still." "Tanya, get down here and hold his legs." "I don't think I can go through with this." "Tanya!" "Now!" "All right." "All right." "You're right." "I'm sorry." "You know what?" "Let me do it." "You hold his legs." "All right." "Goodbye, Mr. Monk." "I'm sorry it had to end like this." "Looks like I'm going to need a new assistant." "Starting now." "Please don't!" "Police!" "Let her go!" "Let her go!" "Put your hands up!" "Hands up!" "Turn around!" "You, too." "You, too." "Mr. Monk." "Mr. Monk, are you okay?" "God, you're..." "Let me help you." "There." "There you go." "Abraca-Dorfman, you son of a bitch." "Are you okay?" "Hello." "My name is Kevin Dorfman, and this is what they call a video will." "Um..." "Which means, sadly, if you're watching this, I am deceased." "Unless you're me, and I am watching it to see how I look." "Or" "I might have put it in the wrong case and lent it to you by accident." "That's also a possibility." "Or maybe you're Phil, the technician at the production company who's editing this video." "Or Phil is sick, possibly, and you're his assistant, Craig." "No." "Not Craig." "Greg." "I remember now." "Craig left two years ago." "Should I fast-forward?" "Greg, I'm sorry for screwing up your name like that." "No." "Craig went back to school..." "Let it play. ... to get his real estate license." "No." "It wasn't real estate." "But it was a license." "What other licenses are there?" "Is it licenses or licensees?"