"[guitar twangs] [wind blows]" "Listen, give me a signal you need any help later... seating people." "Uh..." "I don't think I'm gonna need any help." "But you can replace the candle on table six." "[blues music plays]" "[Dion sighs]" "All right, we might as well make some plates for the shelter or something." " Customers!" " What?" " We got customers!" " What?" " Oh, it's a two-top." " Huh?" " It's better than a no-top." " Unless it's a no-top lady." " [laughter] - [Mose] False alarm." "They wanted directions to a bar mitzvah up in Westchester." "Sorry." "Hey, chef, what's the over-under on how long this dry spell will last?" "This is one news cycle, guys." "24 hours, it'll be forgotten." "Sure." "Doesn't matter if something horrific happened." "A little time goes by, no one cares." "Right, Dion?" "All right, get working on your plates, guys." "[all] Yes, Chef." "Dude, you cannot lose your mind every time we have a slow night." "You think I'm losing my mind?" "This empty restaurant is just my imagination?" "What, you think no one's gonna turn up to the restaurant?" "It's all my fault because somehow I managed to start a gang war?" "!" "[scoffs] Come on!" "This is your pattern, T." "You're always doing this." "I mean, remember in high school when you couldn't find your skateboard?" "Oh, he was pos-i-tive that I stole his precious skateboard." "[Dion] The whole winter, he-- he's nagging me about it." "And then what happens?" "What?" "Three weeks later, big thaw." "Tommy's skateboard's under a snowdrift in his front yard." "Did you sleep with Rie?" "What?" "Did you sleep with Rie?" "No!" "G" " God, no!" "Are you having a psychotic episode?" " I found the videos of you two." " What videos?" " The cooking videos where you" " Cooking vide" "The ones Rie had me tape so she could put them online?" "What, those videos?" "There was a lot more going on than-- than... cooking and videotaping." "Man, are you out of your mind?" "You wiped whipped cream off of her." "Off her mouth." "And y-- you..." "said she was gorgeous." "Dude, Habib was in the background of half of those videos!" "I mean, it was actually a three-way, right?" "Remember, Habib?" "You were so gentle." "I miss you, man." "[chuckles]" "You seriously thought I would do that?" "[Tommy] It's just..." "I mean, the way the two of you were... were interacting." "We were interacting like two people who have known each other for years, yeah." "[Tommy's voice breaking] I'm sorry." "[sobs softly] God, I'm such an idiot." "Yeah, you are." "I'm sorry, man." " Come on, man, you should be." " I'm sorry." "Come on, T." "[Dion] Dude, you gotta stop taking out your crazy paranoia out on me, okay?" "All right." "We're good?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "We're good." "Sorry, guys, I'm an idiot." " No." " It's all good, brother." " [cellphone vibrates]" " Nope." "No problem, man." "[sniffles] [bass plays]" "[elevator bell dings]" "[monitor beeping]" "[Woichik] Morning, Pop." "[Guy] Brr!" "It's freezing in here." "I've been ringing for the nurse, something like 20 minutes." "Alls they got is knuckleheads on duty." "You're here because...?" "You're the because." "[sighs]" "Your dad and I had a nice catch-up before he zonked out." "Any particular subject?" "Yeah-- that little shootout up in the Bronx." "And?" "Well, the old guy was kind of in and out, but..." "I could see his disappointment when I told him about it." "No father wants to see his boy... [sighs] get that sloppy." "[chuckles]" "I read about that unfortunate incident." "I'm sure you're hard at work bringing those animals to justice." "Oh, no stone unturned." "At first, we were having trouble finding witnesses, but, uh... we just caught a break." "If you had any real leads, you wouldn't be here, wasting my time." "You know, with all that money you're making... why don't you splurge for a private nurse?" "[tires screech] [woman screams] [thud] No!" "[slow music plays]" "Mommy!" "[gasps] [panting]" "Hey." "What's wrong?" "Are you okay?" "What-- bad dream?" "Huh?" " It's okay." " [panting continues]" "What, d'ya hear that stuff outside the other night?" "Was kind of scary, huh?" "Yeah, I know." "I know." "Me too." "I was scared, too, you know?" "Look, th-- there's lots of scary stuff out there, okay?" "You just gotta remember to take a deep breath and know that I'm here." "Okay?" "I got you." "[breathing normalizes]" "That's it." "That's it." "[mid-tempo music plays]" "♪ Fever dreams ♪" "♪ Or so it seems ♪" "♪ All I see is ♪" "♪ What used to be ♪" "♪ Fever dreams ♪" "♪ I've been around I'm lost and found ♪" "♪ I burned it all to the ground ♪" "♪ Ashes to ashes hope that dashes ♪" "♪ My ow mystery ♪" "♪ And all I see is what used to be ♪" "[slow music plays] [elevator bell dings]" "Stay away from my father." "[grunts] [gun cocks]" "Daddy issues." "How almost-human." "Maybe I should get a couple of goons to jump you." "Yank out one of your precious teeth;" "see how you like it." "[elevator bell dings]" "Police business." "Next car, please." " Back off." " Or?" "This place is infested with cops." "Are you really that much of a dumb Polack?" "That's the difference between us." "I don't care if I die." "Okay, then." "[elevator bell dings]" "[bass plays]" " [Dion] Morning." " Morning." "Whatcha want for family meal today, Fiasco?" "I don't know, Val." "Risotto with clams?" "[Fiasco] I gotta dump the shellfish tonight." "Fred and Kelly opened another fish place in SoHo." "It's a great location." "Yeah, you don't see a lot of hipsters packing assault rifles down there." "I saw Kelly hawking that new fish place on some morning talk show." "He's a publicity whore." "Guys, we could use a publicity whore." "Actually, um, I have a meeting with a publicist next week." "And I have some, um, corporate sponsorship ideas." "[Dion] Oh, sure." "Thirio, brought to you by Jimmy Dean's pure pork sausage." "Come on." "Well, unless you have a trust fund or a sugar daddy or some A-list celebrity in your pocket, we're in big trouble." "Dion, surely you have boned a celebrity." "Oh, for him, it's a law of averages." "Oh, Dion's boned a celebrity, all right." ""Boned" as in "screwed over."" " 'Cause he's a sex addict." " Ooh!" "Maybe it's time to make amends." "[crunching]" "No." " No way." "Unh-unh." "Not happening." " Come on, man." " [Dion] Not happening!" " [Tommy] You gotta at least try." "DiPaolo gives us a rave, we're set." "All right, I am not groveling to Dante DiPaolo just so he can piss on me!" " No, the guy's a dick." " He used to be your muse." "Yeah, well, that ended badly." "Oh, really?" "You had a falling-out?" "He's a dick?" "Welcome to my world." "Do you know how many times you made me suck it up and go talk to my dad?" "Your turn, buddy." "Eyes on the prize, baby." "[indistinct conversations]" "Hey, look." "We got fans." "[slow guitar plucking]" "Hey." "Everyone get to class." "Come on." "[door closes]" "[Anna] Now!" "[students murmuring]" "[sighs]" "All right, guys, come with me." "All right, look, I told you, he's not gonna be here at lunch." "Come on, T., let's go." "[chuckling] Look at you." "You're a mess." "I've never seen you like this." "It's kinda cute." "Why can't I just e-mail him or something?" "You don't e-mail something like this." "You gotta do it in person." "Come on." "Grow a pair." "The guy does not like me, T." "Why?" "You burn down his restaurant, too?" "Look, whatever it is, apologize, kiss the ring, and then gently move in with the request, okay?" "Oh, Christ." "There he is." "Great." "He remembers you." "Let's go." "[sighs]" "Look how cleaned up he is." "He's gone from Bon Appétit to GQ." " It's called success." " [chuckles nervously]" " Hey, Dante." "How you doin'?" " Dion." "Hey, I'm" " I'm Tommy Moran." "Hey." "I'm Dion's partner." "[Tommy] And a huge fan." "I, uh, I brought something for you." "That's a 2009 Bâta- [together] Bâtard-Montrachet." "Yeah, I got... 20 cases of this stuff in the cellar." "Great." "It'll have some friends." "What's this about, guys?" "Pretty busy." "Uh..." "Yeah, well, w-- w-- we-- we wanted to talk to you, uh, 'cause me and Tommy are opening up a restaurant in the Bronx." "Bronx?" "Jesus!" "Why not Fallujah?" "[chuckles] Fallujah!" "Right." "Right, urn..." "We were just hoping for a little face-to-face." "We feel like we've been struggling a little bit, uh-- well, not struggling, but" "We'd like to invite you to come to our place." "As our guest, of course." " Your opinion would mean the world to us." " [scoffs]" "And, you know, if you like what we're doing, maybe, uh..." "I don't know, give us a shout-out on your blog." "Blogs, your bl-- your blogosphere." "What's in it for me?" "Well, uh, it'll give you the chance to discover a new restaurant." " [Dion] Yeah, with insane food." " And wine." "I'm doing things that are gonna blow your mind." "He is." "He is." "You would love his recipes." "I'm sure I would." "I probably loved them when I first came up with them." "[exhales deeply]" "You know this guy broke my heart, right?" "I..." "I heard there was a history." "I groomed him to move up the line... maybe one day be as good as me." "[DiPaolo] And how's he repay me?" "He steals my recipes." "You know, it was more like, urn... an homage." "Look, when it comes to cooking, Dion is a man obsessed." "And with obsession, sometimes the lines get blurred." "But it's only because he's so passionate and driven, and, when necessary, very apologetic." "Right. [sighs] Right." "Yeah." "I'm" " I'm sorry." "Really." "You know, I was young and stupid." "He was young and stupid." "[Dion] I learned a ton from you." "So we'd love it if you would swing by the restaurant and give us a chance to-- well, give me a chance, to...show you... that I think my cooking can meet your standards." "And if it doesn't?" "It Will." "[scoffs] Sorry." "Maybe if I had a vagina." "Then you could have screwed your way to getting me up to the Bronx." "But, uh, I got a penis." "And if you stay for lunch... for you, that's today's special." "[banjo strumming]" "You got that he said that I could just go suck a" "Yeah, no, I got that." "Maybe corporate sponsorship is the way to go." "[scoffs]" "Come on." "[cellphone vibrates]" "[scoffs] Oh, come on." "[blues guitar playing]" "[Andre] Sorry about your mural." " I didn't mean to mess it up." " [Tommy scoffs]" "Well, that's not what I'm hearing from the kids who saw you intentionally destroy it." "You painted over the whole thing." "So, here's what's gonna happen, Andre." "You're suspended for two days." "And then when you get back, you're gonna be on lunchtime cleanup duty." "Wait-- suspended?" "I work." "I don't have anybody to watch him." "His mother's not exactly available." "What about all the bullying?" "I'm sorry, Mr. Walker, but Andre has to learn that his actions have consequences." "Yeah, they sure do." "Come on, Andre!" "I want to know when that kid comes back that T.J. is gonna be protected." "Trust me, I'll look out for him." "Great." "Let's go." "Bye, Lee." "Bye, Mrs. Chen." "[Mrs. Chen] Bye." "[slow music plays]" "It was really messing with my head... thinking about the two of them together." "Wondering if my whole marriage was a lie, who else she might have been with." "I mean, I was in a really dark place... [chuckles] for a change." "And now I wonder if that-- that paranoia and that fear was just another part of the grief process." "Y-- you know, Tommy, I mean, y-- you're right." "[therapist] It's an important step." "Well, somebody's in a good mood today." "Well... last night, I had a date." "I'm guessing it went well." "[laughs] Pure magic." "I didn't think I would ever be able to let another man touch me after I lost Vance." "But, honestly, I can't believe I waited so long." "Well, that's, um..." "that's an important step, too." "It is!" "Last night, I was touched in a way... [laughs] I mean, it had been so long," "I forgot how much I needed it." "Intimacy is-- it's a very powerful force in our lives." "But it can be tricky territory after losing a partner." "So, um..." "Mose?" "I thought it was okay to date within the group." "[people gasp, murmur]" "Oh." "No, no, no." "I" " I was just wondering-- is there anything you'd like to share?" "Oh, um..." "I think Gloria pretty much covered it." "[laughter] [therapist] Okay." "Good." "Um, Pilar, yeah, since we're on the subject, do you miss being intimate with Oscar?" "Yes." "Yes, I do." "[sniffles] 100%." "[sighs] [slow guitar strumming]" "I mean, uh..." "I miss the little surprises." "Him leaving sweet notes around the house." "Making breakfast for me." "Always thinking about what I might like." "[engine revs]" "Punctual and prepared." "Good for you." "This is my new man, Carl." "He's got a good head on his shoulders." "I assume it's all there?" "[Zipper closes] [whispers] I, uh..." "It's not..." "Excuse me?" "I sold some of the coke to pay the vig." "Let me understand." "You sold the coke I gave to you for safekeeping to pay me back the money you owe...to me." "Every penny I had went into getting that restaurant on its feet." "I can't pay you back until it's making money, and it's not making money." "You see, our launch went into the crapper when there was a drive-by shooting right outside the restaurant." "So break a finger, take a tooth, do whatever you gotta do." "I got nothing else to give." "Dion, Dion, Dion." "Get in the van." "[fog horn blowing, sea gulls squawking]" "Get out." "This is the end of life as you know it." "No, wait, guys, come on." "All right, look, this whole mess, it's on me, all right?" "Nobody else." "No one else gets hurt." "You understand?" "[panting]" "I want you to see something." "Nice view, huh?" "I know the developer." "Lease is mine if I want it." "Prime real estate, minutes from Manhattan, to lure a distinguished clientele." "Wh" " What?" "!" "You owe me 600 grand." "Plus market value of the coke you robbed Patrick to pay..." "Patrick." "A restaurant in this location with you at the helm, we could gross 50 Gs a night." "Factor in interest, expenses, you'll have your debt paid in a year." "You want me to chef for you again?" "More than that." "I want you to create this... with me." "But, man, I" " I got my own thing going on with Thirio." "What you're doing is an experiment." "And like all experiments, it will fail." "We both know that the chances of success are infinitely better with this as your backdrop." "Not to mention 12,000 square feet to play with, a separate test kitchen, top-of-the-line everything." "Dion..." "I'm offering you freedom." "Imagine: you'll never have to think about money again." "[cellphone buzzes]" "Charlie." "Been expecting your call." "I'll have Gekko arrange delivery." "Absolutely." "Very nice." "My pleasure." "I hope so, too." "Goodbye." "So?" "The timing, doing this..." "I'm gonna have to give it some thought." "Twenty four hours." "[bass plays]" "[vehicle door closes] [vehicle departs]" "Okay, Aidan, now more bad news." "Christ." "How about some good news?" "My nephew graduated summa cum laude from Harvard Business School." "[scoffs]" "Cut to the chase." "My grandson will be here soon." "You're cash-poor." "Time to pull the plug on your little money pit in the Bronx." "I'm gonna have to find another $35,000 for your second trip down to Mazatlán for that alternative medicine you're so keen on." "Forget it." "I'm done drinking Mexican horse piss." "Besides, it's not working." "Oh." "Glad to hear it." "I'm not glad it's not working, of course." "Glad 'cause you need the money." "[scoffs]" "Tell the chef that salad was righteous!" "The guy at table four said" "Yeah, I heard, I heard." "Jesus." "Guy's a douche." "That douche is a paying customer who might spread word of mouth." "Pilar, can you come up to the roof?" "Um, some of the herbs in the greenhouse froze over." "I think we might need to get new insulation." "Do greenhouses need insulation?" "Isn't the whole point to have thin walls so the sun comes in?" "One of the walls probably got, uh... breached." "C-- can you just come up, take a look?" "[Aidan] That's it." "A tiny bit of oil is all you need." "All right." "Good work." "I still don't understand how a wall could have gotten breached." "Like, was it, like, an animal or" "Oh, my God." "Somebody put candles in the greenhouse?" "!" "That's a total fire hazard!" "Do you know what kind of fine we'd have to pay if-- [soft music playing]" "[laughs softly]" " Oh, my God." " [chuckles]" "The herbs didn't freeze, did they?" "White mariposa, national flower of Cuba." "You Googled Cuba?" "Maybe. [chuckles]" "I wanted to surprise you." "I think Oscar..." "Oscar was onto something with that." "This is just my way of saying "lo siento."" "I've had my head so far up my ass," "I haven't been able to see how amazing and... and generous, and caring you've been." " So I just" " It's not like I'm a saint." "I made mistakes, too." "Why don't we start over?" "Hmm?" "Clean slate." "Tonight, we'll be pairing the taramasalata and tzatziki with a lovely Italian sparkling water." "Vintage;" "last March." "Fantastic month for water." "Aged, uh, three days in authentic Michigan glass." "' [Pops] ' [giggles]" "[slow music plays]" "Why do we even bother cooking it?" "It's what we do." "We're cooks." "[Habib] Such a waste." "Oh, no, no, no, no, no!" "I can't look." "Ohh!" "Now, that is a crime." "All right, uh, listen up, guys." "Guys!" "Look, I just want to say that if... any of you want to jump ship or go to another gig, I totally get it." "Look, any kitchen would be lucky to have the, the monster cooks we got right here." "So..." "Hey, there's a guy at the door, says he wants dinner." "What-- now?" "What, is he homeless?" "Holy shit." "DiPaolo?" " [laughs]" " Oh, God." "[Fiasco] It's DiPaolo!" "[laughs]" "Nice neighborhood." "[chuckles]" "L" " I'm sorry-- did we leave something behind" " at your restaurant?" " I'm here for a meal." "I hope you have a table available." "I, uh... don't have a reservation." "All right, what's the deal?" "Well, I thought about your pitch." "And I realized that the chance to destroy you, was too good to pass up." "Welcome to Thirio." "Everybody, reset your mise!" "Tasting menu!" "Fire one grilled octopus!" "Ordering one fluke crudo, one squid-ink pasta." "I want pork chop on deck." "Now, let's make everything soigne', people." " Come on!" "Let's go, let's go!" " [all] Yes, Chef!" "[upbeat music plays]" "[upbeat music continues]" "[footsteps approaching]" "[Dion] Uh, hey, T.?" "Yo, Tommy boy?" "What does he want?" "What?" "!" "I'm a little busy in here!" "Hey, Tommy, I respect your game and all." "Hey, Pilar." "But we got a major code red downstairs." " What is it?" " DiPaolo's here." "He wants to eat." "Come on." "Shit!" "Do you... do you want to..." "No, I" " I think I'm gonna go home." " But... you go be brilliant." " Oh. [chuckles]" "To be continued." "Promise." "Fifteen minutes before closing?" " He did this on purpose." " Yeah, oh, of course, he did." "He wanted to catch us after we dumped all our prep." "Wow, guy really is a dick." "No." "This is good, T. I mean, he's here." " Anyway, how was it?" " Interrupted." "A 2012 Alsatian Pinot Gris." "And this should be paired with...?" "Octopus!" "Dion, where is it?" "I can't stall him forever." " All right, all right." "It's coming." " No, no, no." "You gotta run the order." " Just two minutes." " No, no." "No minutes, Dion" "You-—" "Teej, I" " I'm sorry, buddy." "L" " I can't deal with you right now." "Okay?" "I" " I'll be up in a minute." "Wait, wait, wait!" "Teej, Teej, you want to help on the line?" "What?" "No!" "Dion" "I need all the help I can get." "He can do the garnish." "Okay, fine." "Whatever." "Just hurry." "Val, you want to put an apron on my assistant?" " [Val] Bitchin'!" " Let's go, let's go!" "Habib, let's do this." "Come on." "Time's up." "All right, where's Mose?" "Mose!" "Where is Mose?" "[Tommy] Come on." "Come here." " All right, go." " Go, go, go!" " [both] Come on, Go!" "Go, go!" " [Tommy] Slow down." "Chili-glazed grilled octopus with charred onions, herb salad, and yogurt." "Why's he keep texting?" "[Val] It's not good." "Val, Fiasco!" "Get away from the window, will ya?" "Looks desperate." "Val, since you were looking...?" "He's just... eating." "Does he have a look on his face?" "Yeah, when something's wrong, he shuts his eyes, he gets this look on his face." "Did he have that?" "He looked regular." "Regular." "Hey, Mose, let me see that." "Son of a bitch." "I knew it." "There's too much goddamn mint on this thing!" "Whoa, whoa, whoa." "Hey, hey, hey." "He got four plates to go." "Okay, he's pacing himself." "You gotta relax, all right?" "Wh-- what's up next?" "All right, we got the fluke crudo, followed by the squid-ink pasta with sea urchin." "Well, first of all, your crudo-- flawless." " Mmm!" "Yeah, it is." "It's good!" " It's beautiful." "I mean, it's delicate and delicious." "And your squid-ink pasta?" " [Val] Unparalleled." " Are you kidding me?" "Dion, you got this." "Okay?" "Let's go." "All right." "All right, we got this." "Come here." "All right, do not let Dion see any food come back into the kitchen." "Bring all the plates in clean." "You hear me?" " Copy that." " Go." "Hey, Habib, I need some oil, finish that for me, okay?" " Yes, Chef." " Chef?" "Hey, T-Bone, how you doing back there, buddy?" "Doing good, Chef." "He's doing real good." "[sighs] [slow music plays]" "[knock on door]" "Who is it?" "It's Dad." " Jesus, you okay?" " Yeah." "What happened, huh?" "Every detail." "I'm not sure how, but somebody broke in." "Left this under my pillow." "[door slams]" "This wasn't a message for me, was it?" "It was a message for you." "That fat Polack's gonna pay for this." "I'm gonna rip off his balls and shove 'em down his throat." "Why are you so fixated on Patrick Woichik?" "You got your business, I got mine." "Yeah, but my business is legal." "What are you doing?" "You're coming home with me." "With a suitcase full of formal wear?" "Dad, stop." "Stop!" "I told you not to cross the line with the Woichik family." "I did my job." "I arrested Ziggy." "And fractured his skull on the ride to jail." "I'm not the one who crossed the line." "Let's just leave it at that." "Oh, my God." "You didn't crack your tooth falling down that stoop, did you?" "No, pumpkin, I didn't." "[grunts]" "I need a little memento for my father in prison." "[grunting]" "Your mom and I are gonna take care of you." "No." "Marisa." "Now is not the time for your stubborn bullshit." "I am a grown woman." "A grown pregnant woman who needs to sleep in her own bed." "Now, you are welcome to stay here if you want to until I get a security system, but under one condition." "Promise me that you will back off Patrick Woichik." "[sighs]" "All right." "You got my word." "[upbeat music playing]" "Chef?" "He wants to talk to you." "I want dessert, but nothing on your menu's screaming my name." "Okay, what do you want?" "I can" " I can make it for you." "I'd kill for a chocolate soufflé." "[DiPaolo] You remember my chocolate souffle, don't you?" "Maybe you have an homage to that recipe, too." "That's 45 minutes." "Oh." "Well. [inhales sharply]" "I should call it a night." "[DiPaolo] Busy day tomorrow." "You know what?" "W" " Wait, wait." "I can do better than a soufflé." "Tell me you have a plan." " [Val groans]" " Oh, no, no, no, no, no!" " Don't even think that, man." " No." "No, no, no, no." "That's way past the statute of limitations." "[all groaning]" "[chuckles]" "Some shell there." "[sighs]" "Habib, give me a hot, wet knife." "[up-tempo music plays]" "All right, mix me up some hot ganache." "Yes, Chef." "Blowtorch." "You're a beast." "[Fiasco] That is beautiful!" "Beautiful, Chef." "[slow music plays]" "That's it?" "One bite?" "Thanks for the meal, Dion." "Oh, no." "You gotta be kidding me with this!" "We appreciate you coming out tonight." "No, no, no, no, wait!" "Dante!" "Come on." "Tell us what you thought." "Just say it." "We can take it." "[val] Hey, guys?" "He's been posting on his blog the whole time." "I always loved having you in my kitchen, Patras." "I knew you were a good chef... someday, maybe even great." "[telephone rings]" "First phone I've heard tonight." "You're welcome." "[second phone rings]" "[Mose] Thirio." "How can I help you?" "[third phone rings] DiPaolo!" "DiPaolo." "How about a glass of something you don't already have 20 cases of, as a thank-you?" ""A life-altering flourless chocolate torte that maybe came from Heaven."" "Actually, it came from the garbage, but, you know, why quibble?" ""The man cooks from the heart." "You can't fake that," eh?" "[cheering] [whooping]" "Yeah!" "[siren wailing in distance]" "[laughing] Yes!" "[cellphone rings]" "T.J. ?" "T.J., it's Mommy." "It's Mommy, calling from Heaven." "Hey, T.J.!" "[tires squeal] [screams]" "You're a piece of shit!" "I died 'cause your stupid face [laughing] makes me sick." "Andre!" "[laughing] You made me laugh." "I hope you heard that, punk!" "[Andre] I'm gonna get you back." "Mommy can't take care of you now, you little bitch." "[DiPaolo] He told me he's working his way up the line at this joint in P-Town." "Turns out the place had been closed for a year." "[laughing] Son of a bitch lied right to my face." "He lied?" "See, now-- now, that doesn't sound like Dion." "Two things I got a nose for:" "bullshit and talent." "Dion is full of both." "Mm." "Oh, I'm good." "I'm taking it easy these days." "Listen, thank you again for the shout-out." "I $21212}" "You know, Dion will never admit it, but what you think of his cooking means the world to him." "Believe me, I didn't come here to give Dion a reach-around." "[DiPaolo] I was ready for some major payback." "What can I say?" "That jackass knows his way around a kitchen." "He was hoping for the reach-around-  just for the record." " [laughs]" "How much more wine do you got?" "Actually, I have" " I have another bottle you gotta try." "Open it." "What, you just passing through?" "Get over here." "Look, I told you;" "I'm done." "You want to arrest the Tooth Fairy, you gotta do it yourself." "Who said anything about arresting him?" "I'm gonna kill him." "And you're gonna help me." " Oh, come on." "You can't be serious." " I'm dead serious, Chef." "I'll get back in touch with you about the details." "And next time I call, you better pick up." " No, come on!" " [DiPaolo] No, wait." "It gets better." "It turns out Dion was in the pool house, banging the bride." "[both laugh]" "Oh!" "And then there was this night out in the Hamptons." "[DiPaolo] Uh, we used to do this big Valentine's Day party at one of these crazy-ass McMansions in Sag Harbor." "And, uh, the lady who hired us was so hot for your partner." "You remember that old hag, Dion?" "The one with the face like, uh, like the Joker." "No." "Really?" "Tommy's heard all my war stories." " Come on, man." "We gotta get cleaned up." " No." "No, I haven't." "Wait a minute." "Let the man finish." "Seriously, Tommy, you don't need to hear this." " We got a big day tomorrow." "Come on." " Relax." "You gotta try this." "Come here." "Try this." "Sit down." "Sit down!" "Tell me about the Joker woman." "Okay, so, urn, end of the party, she's, uh, she's running around looking everywhere for Dion." "And, meanwhile, of course, I spot Dion back at the BB, you know, sneaking in the room next to mine with this hot black chick and one of the other chefs-- I forget her name." "Total piece of ass, man." "[echoing] They must have kept me up all night with that headboard banging against the wall." "I must have got three hours' sleep." "Well, but anyway, Public Enemy number one... [voice continues, fades]" "[DiPaolo laughs, distorted] [theme music plays]"