"Remember, this trip is for your health." "But if you don't guard your body, your soul could be in danger." "Nadia, you are their teacher." "Take care of them." "Don't worry, Director." "I'll look after their virtue." " And what about you, Carla?" " Don't worry about me." "I'll return with a new sense of morality." "Thank you, Director..." "Good bye, girls." "Have a nice trip." "There's something I don't understand, Marina." "Why did you want me to come with you?" "My father wanted you to come with us." "But you're with all your friends." "I feel like an outsider." "It's just a few days." "You should try and forget that you're a teacher." "Okay." "You worried about your diary?" " Sure... no one is allowed to read it." " l'm not interested." " Is everything all set, miss?" " Yes." "Let's go." "I think this weekend will be fantastic." "Marina invited all of us to her father's place at the beach." "But I don't understand why she invited Nadia." "I just don't understand it." "Look at her... she's awful." "I'm sure that she's still a virgin." "With that woman's face, if I were a man I wouldn't take her to bed." "Sandra is another sort of girl." "She has a beautiful smile." "But she's always playing the fool." "For example, they say she doesn't wear any panties, claiming she can't afford them." "Nevertheless, she insists that all is in order, and that she remains pure." "She's so pure, I know of two magistrates who jump to blow their wives' noses when she sneezes." "You can be considered to be pure around here, provided you can keep a straight face." "Yvette, however, is someone who keeps everything to herself." "She probably knows all about Sandra because she's her best friend." "But she won't talk about her, either." "She won't reveal the secrets of others,   nor those of her own." "That's the way it is." "Everyone is different, you know." "I wonder what she thinks about me?" "Did I hurt you?" "Anything broken?" "Answer me." "Where did that rock come from?" "It wasn't there yesterday." "Look at this fool." "How much have you had to drink?" "You..." "You  you can go fuck yourself!" "Patricia is understanding, and attractive enough." "She's also intelligent, so everyone confides in her." "Then she shares everything she learns with me." "And it's important to me to learn everything about everyone straightaway." "WATCH OUT..." "THE SCHOOLGIRLS ARE COMING!" "Damned whale!" "I will get you!" "I'll follow you to the ends of the earth, Moby Dick." "I'll follow you and catch you." "I'll hunt you forever." "One day I'll kill you   I will kill you!" "Commander!" " l hate you, damned whale!" " Commander!" "Can't I be left in peace to kill the whale?" " Your daughter will arrive at any moment." " Oh yes, she's coming today." "I had forgotten." " Can I help you, Commander?" " l don't need any help!" "I haven't needed your help in the last 30 years!" " Yes, it's been 30 years, Commander." " Yes, that is the truth." "I've been coming here for 30 years to train my body." " Oh, God!" " Did you hurt yourself, Commander?" "No, it's just my old wound." "Let's go." "Put your bags here." "Let's go to the bar and get a drink." "This way, please." " Hello." " Hello." " Oh!" "Marina!" " Hello, Commander." " Excuse me..." " Do you have rheumatism?" "Rheumatism?" "In my 40 years I've never had rheumatism!" " More like 50 years!" " 40 years by my calendar." "Friends... my father." "You are welcome here." "Who's the ugly woman?" " That's our teacher, papa." " A real beast." "Oh!" "My compliments, madam." "I'm glad that you accepted my invitation." "Allow me to thank you." "Danke shoen." "Nice pattern..." "Hello, is this the galley?" "Am I speaking to the galley chief?" "Yes, Commander." "There will be 10 more people today." "10 more place settings tomorrow, and the day after." "And what about "B" portions?" "It is post-season." "Post-season?" "What do you mean?" "No, no..." "I don't want to disgrace myself." "They are friends of my daughter." "Do you understand?" ""A" portions, and high-season fare." "Very well, Commander." "I'll buy 2 kg of meat and 4 kg of fish,   one bunch of bananas, and ..." "Sure, sure... buy whatever you need." "And be sure it's top quality." "Will you pay for that?" "Yes, of course I will." "As always." "You said you'd pay for the last two weeks." "But you haven't." "Okay, I'll pay." "As always." "Over and out." "Yes, sir." "As always." "Hurry up!" "I have other things to do." "You can peel your own potatoes." "Didn't you tell me you wanted to lose weight?" "Yes." "That's why I'm feeling so bad." "Listen to me." "Did you see the breasts on Marina?" "They are wonderful!" "I'm not interested in that." "Have you gone over to the other side?" "Okay." "One less rival, you fag." " Shut your mouth, asshole." " How about this?" "I was just doing you a favor, since you aren't interested in women." "Don't talk nonsense." " You're never satisfied." " We have a lot of people to feed." "Move your ass!" " Peeling potatoes..." " Move your ass!" "Marina's father is a nice guy." "Very masculine!" "I'm not sure about that." "He talks nice enough, but can he make love?" "I don't know." "Just keep an open mind." "We'll see." "At school you're cold as ice." "But on holiday I can let myself go." "One shouldn't put on an act." "What a shame." "You're a beautiful girl." "But you'd be more beautiful without these hang-ups, my dear." "Shit..." "Sandra!" "Call the Commander." "The water isn't working." "Hello?" "Command bridge!" "What are your orders?" "Right away, miss. I understand completely." "Yes." "I understand." "Right away." "Yes, miss." "We'll take care of it." "In a moment everything will be repaired." "You can count on it." "Oh, my God!" "Salvatore, you're always in my way." " You need to pay attention." " Oh, Signore Massimo..." " Here, take care of my bag." " Yes, Signore Massimo..." "Wait, Signore Massimo!" " l need to tell you something." " What?" " The girls ..." " What girls?" " Your sister and her friends." " My sister?" "Hi, Massimo!" "Ciao, Marina!" "How are you?" "Ciao!" "." "And who is this?" "She's my friend from school." "I need to learn all about her." "That's your opinion." " Alright, alright." " Signore Massimo." "The girl on the right isn't wearing panties." " No panties?" " Yes." " Are you sure?" "Did you see?" " Yes..." "I saw!" "You did?" "I'll see for myself." "You're a real sex maniac." "That's not my fault." "Hi, baby." "How are you?" "How long are you here for?" " Just a couple of days." " That's not very long." " And what's this I hear about you?" " What?" "You don't wear any panties?" "Who told you that?" "No one..." "I just know it." " Why are you here?" " Because of my sixth sense." " Maybe it's an erotic sense." " He really has the sixth sense." "Yes, you're right." "I can sense beautiful girls." "Lucky for us!" " There you are, come in." " Good day, miss." "What's the problem?" "The faucet is broken." "Neither hot nor cold water works." "It'll just take a moment, miss." "This is no problem for Salvatore." "A little faucet is no problem for me." "And now... watch me." "These two little things." "It will only take me a few minutes." "It's no problem." "I'll just give it a few turns." "That will take care of everything." "So now..." "I screw it, screw it, and screw it." "And screw it, and screw it, and screw it.... ... and screw it, and screw it ..." "Excuse me, but perhaps you'd do better looking at the faucet, eh?" " No, I don't need to look..." "I can hear it." " Really?" "Yes. I can work on two things at the same time." "Beautiful things, if you follow my meaning." "You're just a little too curious." "But a beautiful girl like you should show me everything." "Everything... everything... everything..." "Very interesting." "And just how should I show you everything?" "Yes..." "I would like   I would like to see you bathing." "Well." "Just another moment..." " ... and the water will be here." " Is it coming?" "What's this?" "No water?" "Just a few more turns and..." "What did I say?" "The magician creates water!" "I'm pleased that you came here with Marina." " l hope you're enjoying yourself here." " Yes." "It's quite nice." "I see you're a hit with my friends." "Yes, we're getting along fine." "To tell you the truth   it was worth the drive." "Was he always so manly?" "He's really not that manly." "Why don't you relax and enioy your holiday?" "I am relaxed." "Don't worry." "Maybe you need a man?" "Yes!" "Of course she's right." "You're the big talker." "Nothing else." "Great, you girls have nothing to fear from me." "Oh, look over there." " Ciao." " Ciao, Marina." " Ciao." " Good day." " Hello Massimo." " Hi." " Who are they?" " Friends of mine." "We haven't see girls like that in a long time, eh?" "We should get a closer look." "Come on." "Who are these guys?" "That's Gianni, and this is Marco." " Hi." " Nice to meet you." "These guys are good at swimming and diving." "Maybe they'll show us." "I trust these guys can do even more." "What can you tell us, Marina?" "Two boys showed up." "Friends of Marina." "They're called Marco and Gianni." "They're amusing themselves." "Otherwise, nothing special." "Of course Yvette and Patricia tried to impress them." "Sandra could do it, too." "But she's like a statue." "A statue in museum." "The teacher hasn't come out of the dressing room yet." "Marina loaned her a bikini." "I can't picture it." "Marina wears a size 2." "She wears a 5." "Will she give someone an ass complex?" "I meant to say ice cube... not ass." "Take in the sails!" "Quickly!" "Into the rigging!" "Hurry up!" "Don't forget the last sail." "It's blowing harder!" "Damn it!" "Take in the sails!" "We've sprung a leak, Commander!" "We're sinking!" "Close the watertight doors!" "Try to hold back the water." "It's no use!" "Do whatever you can!" "We're going down, Commander!" "Abandon ship!" "Every man for himself!" "Jump overboard, Commander!" "The Commander never leaves his ship." "He'll go to the ocean floor." "Good day..." "What's the matter?" "I'm sorry for disturbing you." "I was on my way to the beach, Commander,   and I heard you calling loudly." "Charming." "You recognized your daughter's bikini?" "No, I don't know it was her's." " It's nice, eh?" " It's beautiful!" "Very nice..." "I don't believe we've met, but it's my pleasure." "You are beautiful, miss." "But..." "I'm your daughter's teacher." "What did you say?" "You mean the one with the ugly face?" "What can I do for you, miss?" "You can call me Nadia." "Nadia?" "A nice name for a teacher, miss." "Call me Nadia." "Okay. I'll call you Nadia, but  why did you look like ...." "And now?" "You know... I didn't want to look like a teacher around the girls." "That's all." "A good idea." "An excellent idea." "I never dreamed you could look like this." "This is a very interesting museum." "Museum?" "No, this is no museum." "These are my memories, miss." "Each piece has its own history." "You must have guessed..." "I was a sailor." "A seasoned sailor." "I knew every ocean." "The water was my home." "The moon was my light." "The heavens were my roof." "The stars were my companions." "Oh, you must have had some wonderful adventures!" "Yes." "It was nice to travel the world." "For example, Mauritius   the islands of Java, Hawaii   Haiti, Formosa..." " How often did you go there?" " Well   my lovely girl, I made all those trips in my imagination." "In spite of that, I know all these places." "I was there in my mind." " Please, come see the world with me." " Oh, yes..." "Follow me on the wonderful waves." "Let us search for the island of love in our imagination." "Ah, my love, it isn't far." "It's there." "It's there ..." " Bora Bora, Paco Paco..." " Ciao, ciao..." " What's up?" "Are you leaving, miss?" " No, I saw a new island." "Yes, that's it." "A new fantasy island." "Well then, let's sail away, eh?" "In just a little while we'll reach the Suez Canal." "Soon we'll be at the equator." "Can you feel the heat?" "It's getting hot." " Very, very, very hot." " The equator is very hot today." " It's very hot." "Can you feel it?" " Yes, I can." "I'll take off some clothes." "My cap and jacket." "Why don't you take off your clothes, miss?" "It's too hot at the equator." "Come on." "Maybe the top?" " This one?" " Yes, of course." " Away with the clothes." " It's so hot." "What about my own clothes?" "I forgot my cap and shirt." "That feels better  but I'm still getting hotter." " Maybe we should take off more clothes." " Yes... my shoes." "No, not the shoes." "Leave your shoes on." " So, what now?" " We'll head into port on such a hot day." "Yes, that's what we'll do." "We'll sail..." "Where should we sail?" "It really is hot." "Why don't you take off your trousers?" "My trousers?" "Why not?" "And you take off your panties." "The poor Giovanna doesn't know anything about sex." "In all honesty  she's still a child." "I pity her." "She's altogether too trusting." "This morning she was told that she would get pregnant   if she went swimming with men." "They told her to take a pill." "But it was actually a laxative." "She gobbled it down like it was candy,   which is her patron saint." "What's up with Giovanna?" " What's the matter?" " A call of nature." "Let's play the bottle game." "Of course..." "Let's move to a better spot." " Won't you play, Massimo?" " No thanks." "Let's go!" "All aboard the love boat!" "In you go!" "It's pointing at me!" "Your punishment:" "Kiss one of the boys." "I'll kiss Massimo." " The rules say that I can decide." " No, no..." "Massimo..." "Shut up!" "Now it's my turn." "Who do you think I should kiss?" "Should it be you, Patricia?" "Or the Ice Woman?" "You're joking!" "How dare you!" "Did you enjoy your voyage... under a sailor?" "I must say, you have tremendous stamina." "Well, a sailor like me would never give in to fatigue." " Can I get you something?" " Nothing special... just some salt water." " Where are you going?" " To the beach." " You need to get dressed." " Why?" "Aren't we at the equator?" "We've already left the equator." "We're in Antarctica now." "So, you need to get dressed." "Goodbye, my hero." "Farewell, my darling." "She called me a hero." "And now I've caught a bad cold." "Hey, Sandra, who's that?" "That's our teacher." " Look at her." " She doesn't look like a scarecrow anymore." "She's beautiful!" " This is boring." "Let's go swimming." " Okay." "Come on." "Everyone into the water!" "36 eggs for one dinner." "Normally, that's enough for the entire season." "This time the Commander has gone over the top." "He caught a bad cold at the equator." "Why wasn't he wearing any clothes?" "One cup for the Commander." "The other for the teacher." "Come in." "Come in." "Good morning." "I'll be damned." "I've never had such a bad cold in the 30 years I've owned this hotel." "I hope the soup will help me." "It's good to have you here." "You take care of everything around the house." "But please, leave now." "One, two..." "One, two..." "One, two..." "One, two..." "One, two..." "One, two..." " Who is it?" " The waiter." " The waiter or the waitress?" " Waitress... a female!" "I'm a woman, miss." "Then why did you say waiter?" "These Italians are idiots." "Unable to speak their own language." "Come in." "Come in!" " A sweet dessert." " What is it?" "A nice egg custard with marsala." "Why should I have egg custard for breakfast?" "It makes your body strong and healthy." "Eat it and stay fit." "I don't need it." "My body is in perfect condition." " Is your body healthy?" " Of course it is." "But sometimes it gets in the mood." " l don't understand." " l do." "But I can't explain it to you." " Are you embarrassed?" " Yes." " But we're both women." " No." "I understand." "It's the result of the long repression of Italian women." "But it's your own fault." "You should have insisted on your emancipation." "Yes... that's what my mother told me." " Put it on the table, thank you." " Yes, ma'am." "If you have time, I'd like to take a shower." "I need your help." " Do you have time?" " Yes, of course." "Plenty of time!" "Then come with me." "Oh, excuse me." " Does this embarrass you?" " No, no." " Would you please soap my back?" " Yes." "That feels nice." " Are you a hermaphrodite?" " No. I'm Sicilian." "Sicilian." "A Sicilian hermaphrodite?" "Yes, yes... I come from an island." "Not from the continent." "I suspect you don't know what a hermaphrodite is." "It comes from an island and lives on the continent?" "No." "A hermaphrodite is something else." "A hermaphrodite is a person with testicles and ovaries." "But I have two testicles." "Two!" " That's stupendous!" " No, really?" "You're a phenomenon!" "You have two testicles." "Amazing!" "I never met anyone like you before." "Tell me, how many ovaries do you have?" "I don't have any ovaries." "Just two testicles." "You don't have any ovaries?" "Just two testicles?" "Yes, that's it." "Just two testicles." "And I'm very proud of them." "Now I understand." "You had an operation because you wanted to be a man." "Yes, you're right. I'm a man." "Yvette wants me to participate in a spiritualist seance." "She did it once back at school, without the knowledge of the nuns." "And I must admit, there were some effects." "But I don't believe she has supernatural powers." "I think it's lust a trick." "This evening I'll pay close attention." "I have to find out..." "Everyone, write down the name of the person you wish to speak to." "Fold it, and put the paper in the basket." " Who wants to begin?" " Me." "Good." "So you can tell everyone it's not a fake." "On this paper is the name of the person we will call upon." " Who is it?" " Just a warning before I reveal the name." "You can still leave the room if you're feeling anxious about contacting the spirits." "I am not reponsible for any consequences." "Everyone bears the consequences." "Whoever stays here is responsible for himself." "The person who appears might be the Marquis de Sade." "And he will act like the Marquis de Sade." "Or it might be Rudolfo Valentino." "That would be very nice." "Now, place your hands on the table." "From now on, don't move your hands   or you'll frighten away the spirits." "Even if you should see someone in the darkness   move only your eyes." "Please... come to us, chosen spirit." "Come now, and show your power." "Come!" "Appear to the one who called you." "De Sade." "He's here. I've seen him." "Where?" "Where he is?" "I want to see him." "Silence!" "Be quiet!" "And don't move your hands." "I can't see anything." "You're all crazy." "It's just a trick!" "Just a fake!" "Yes!" "He's my chosen one!" "My chosen one!" "But... why did Patricia see him first?" " l don't understand." " Be quiet!" "Concentrate." "Especially you, Giovanna." "It was just luck that it was your chosen one." "It's just a fake." "Lucrezia Borgia would have been just as nice." "Romeo!" "Where are you?" "De Sade, my love, come to your Giovanna!" "Please, come to me. I'm your slave forever." "It's no fake." "You must concentrate." "He is here." " De Sade..." " You, who wrote down the name." "You, who chose me." "You, who wanted my presence." "I will come to you." "Not only in spirit but also with the power of love given to me by nature." "Damn it." "Why?" "Why do I always have to hurt my head?" "I am yours." "And you are mine." "And I will penetrate you with all my power." "You will share an orgy of love with me." "And you will be by my side until the end of time." " Oh!" "Yes!" "Yes!" " Wonderful." "I am yours!" " Where are they?" " Calm down, Signore Massimo." "I don't know why they haven't come down." "Last night they had big trouble at the table." " Big trouble?" " Yes." "At the table." "All of them put their hands on the table." "Look." "Just like this." " Why?" " They were having a spiritualist meeting." " Do you mean a seance?" " Yes." "It was like this..." "They were sitting around the table." "And I was under the table." "At first they were talking." "Then silence." "Then they began crying out." "They cried out:" "Nova Casa!" "Nova Casa!" "Salvatore, they didn't mean "Nova Casa"." "They meant Casanova!" "Do you get it?" " What did I say?" " Nova Casa." "Nova Casa, Casa Nova..." "It's all the same." "No!" "It's not the same!" "It means CASANOVA!" "Casanova." "Casanova." "Whatever..." "Anyway, they placed their hands on the table, and it began to move." "But before that, they wrote names on slips of papers." "I don't know whose names, but names on the papers." "Suddenly Giovanna began to cry out." "Okay, Giovanna... tell me." "Yes." "She kept crying: "De Starte"." "Yes." "De Starte." "No, Salvatore." "She said: "DE SADE"." "You don't know French." " l don't know any foreign languages." " That's right." "Not even Italian." "But I only went to night school." "Let me continue." " Well, I was hiding under the table." " And nobody knew you were there." "When they began to cry out, they spread their legs. I had an interesting view." "Their legs sounded like this:" ""Giacomo, Giacomo, Giacomo"!" "So I did this: "Attack, Attack, Attack"!" ""Attack"?" "That's exciting?" "Giovanna thought it was exciting." "Giovanna really believed in it." "That De Sade is a real sex maniac, eh?" "Which one... which one?" "Which dress should I wear tonight?" "I would suggest something seductive." "Oh, God." "Give me a light, Salvatore." "It will take them at least two hours to get dressed." "Of course." "You know women well." "Oh yes, I know a lot about women, Signore Massimo." "Did you notice how nervous Giovanna was?" "I felt sorry for her." "Where are my panties?" "Ah, there they are." " Try that dress on." " This one on the chair?" "Very nice." "Not bad." "Tell me, where do you get your dresses?" "My uncle is the sales manager at a clothing factory." " Could you get something for me?" " I'd be happy to." "But it wouldn't be free." "He'd want to sleep with you." "Why doesn't anything fit me?" "They're always thinking about the tiny ones." "Not the normal ones." "That's right." "Big mouths, little brains." "I guess I'll wear my skirt and my blouse." "Giovanna, are you sure want to go there?" "It's my night." "And this will be my night." "I will meet my chosen one." "I know I will." "Yvette predicted it." "The main thing is you believe it." "Maybe she knows something?" "Of course, that's her secret." "Or... it's the power of suggestion." "Tell me, Salvatore, you've travelled the world." "How many women have you had?" "Many women." "Lots of women." " One." " You're a real playboy." "You don't believe me?" "One!" "Yes!" "But one who was worth five." "Fantastic!" " Braggart..." " They were enormous!" " What did I tell you?" " I'm not following you..." "They're here." " Yes, we're finally here." " No harm..." "We've only been waiting for two hours." " Where is Giovanna?" " She'll be here in a minute." "Salvatore, tell Giovanna to follow us." "Come on, girls!" "Lovely... I once drank 97 bottles of beer." "That's impossible." "I'm telling you the truth." "First one bottle... then 14.... then 12..." "Maybe not 97 bottles." "No, it was 87." "You don't believe me?" "Don't damage the bottles!" "I'll clean up." "Watch me." "Jawohl, mein Kapitän!" "Jawohl..." "You Italians are quite out of the ordinary." "Very likeable." "But there's one thing you have to admit." "Your leaders are your greatest enbarrassment." "Our leaders?" "The bigshots?" "Yes." "The bigshots." "We were given large brains for great wisdom." "But they're still carrying around clubs!" "Oh yeah?" "I'll show you." "Remember our agreement." "If you get drunk first, I'm the winner." "You have to come to my room." "If I get drunk first, I go to your room." "It doesn't matter." "It's all the same." " Cheers!" " Cheers!" " Are you bored?" " No." "You seem to be nervous." "Do you think your prince will come?" " Do you really believe it?" " Stop it." "He will come." "Your cocktails, ladies." " Good evening." " Good evening." " I'll seat you in a moment." " Thank you." "He just arrived." "Please follow me, sir." "Come this way." "Your table." " May I bring you something to drink?" " A whiskey, please." "I'm sure he's the one." "Just look at him!" " Your whiskey." " Thanks." "He's looking my way." " Nando!" " On my way..." " Waiter!" " Just a moment, please." " Waiter!" " I'm coming." "I'm coming." " I'm telling..." " I'll be right there!" "Here I am..." "Careful, watch the steps." "Don't panic, you'll make it." "There's nothing to worry about." "Careful... there... there..." "That wasn't so difficult." "I've saved a wonderful table for you." "Make way, ladies and gentlemen." "Sit down here, please." "Just a moment." "I'm sorry, doctor." "There." "Isn't that better?" "Something to drink?" " Whiskey." " Okay." " With soda?" " Without." "Pardon me." "Good evening." "Would you like to dance?" " He's blind drunk." " Yes." " Prosit." " Prosit to you..." "This is the way to do it." "A water chaser gets rid of the bad taste of the beer." "Ja..." " The whiskey's gone." " Give that to me." "The beer and whiskey will fight it out." "Where are you going?" "Take two steps backward." "Attention!" "I will count to 3." "The one who has a beer in his hand first is the winner." "Ready?" "Get set." "1... 2..." "No, no, no!" " That was a false start." " l've never made a false start." "2 steps backward!" "Get moving!" "Go!" "Now... 1... 2... 1..." "T H R E E !" "I told you:" "No false starts!" "I wish tonight would never end." "That would please me, too." "From the moment I first saw you, I knew that you were meant for me." " l love you." " This weekend will be over soon." "Don't worry, I'll visit you." " Do you promise?" " Of course." "Kiss me." "Your whiskey." "I beg your pardon, but how many have you had?" "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8..." "Then this one's mine." "Why don't you dance?" "All the girls are taken." "One girl seems to be free." "Go on!" " Do you think so?" " Yes... go!" "Okay. I'm going." "Would you like to dance with me, miss?" "Waiter!" "Alright..." "I'm coming." " Waiter!" " I'll be right there..." "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" " Your room?" " Like in the movies..." "Please..." "You're so beautiful." "That's why I'll remove your dress." "But first, take off my jacket." "Now... take off my shirt." "I'm coming." "I can't wait..." "Yes..." "Take it all off!" "It's time to make love." "I just need to get out of my trousers." " Help me." " Yes, yes, yes..." "Don't tempt me with your beauty!" "This isn't the way..." "No..." "No, hold still..." " Watch my head..." " This is wonderful!" "Yes, like that..." "Now I've got them!" "Hey, lover, what's the matter?" "Cuckoo... it's just me." "That was great." "Tonight's mission was unsuccessful, eh?" "I was thirsty. I was just going to the bar to get a beer." "Just one?" "I could drink 10 beers and still be sober." "Another surprise." "I was mistaken about you." "You certainly were!" "And I can do a lot more." "You filthy slut!" "A pig like you is only fit to teach sex education!" "If they hear of this back at school you'll be sent packing, back to where you came from." " Do I make myself clear, my dear?" " Why are you spying on me?" " To see what I can get out of it." " How much?" "I don't want money." "Just do me a little favor." "A favor?" "What can I do for you?" "For the moment that will be my secret." "Come with me." "Nando!" " Oh!" "Signore!" " So, you remember me!" "How are you?" "Nando, you remember my baby..." "Do you remember the times at Moulin Rouge?" " l'll go have some fun." " Go, go!" " Can you believe Claudia was a stripper?" " Yes..." "What a body." "She drives me crazy!" "She was the most beautiful girl there." "Do you remember?" "Oh, yes. I remember her." "I remember quite well!" "Hey, guys!" "Your dancing s boring." "I'll show you how to dance to this music." "Watch this..." "That club was my ruin." "But she was so wonderful." "The most beautiful of the beautiful!" "That takes a lot of nerve!" "What courage!" "Hey, guys!" "Let's go to the fortune teller!" "Come on, peddle faster!" "Use your muscles!" "Go faster." "Let's go!" "We're too fast for you!" "Watch out!" "Hey, you aren't allowed to pass." "We're in the lead." "Goodbye, guys..." "Come." "Aren't you upset that we ran off the road?" "No, quite the contrary." "Just a moment." "You son of a bitch!" "You wretch!" "What are doing here?" "You like to watch naked women?" " No!" " Then what were you doing?" "I was watching you." " You were watching me?" " Yes." "Is that so?" "You're really very lovely yourself." "Very nice." "Turn around and bend over." " ls that a threat or a promise?" " A promise." "Wait for it..." "Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the greatest fortune teller of our time." "Come on in, ladies and gentlemen." "There's nothing to fear." "You can know the future for only a few Lire." "Come to me." " Okay, guys, who will be first?" " l'm curious. I'll go first." "Stop!" "What's written on this paper?" "Allah will bring you good fortune   if you give me 2.000 Lire." " Oh, that's way too much." " No. 2.000 Lire." " Do we have 2.000 Lire?" " In the past I only paid 1.000." "Allah is running a deficit." " Alright, here's 2.000 Lire." " Thank you." " What are you doing?" " Maybe it's counterfeit money, and no good." "But these are genuine." "Signorina, are you ready?" "I can see it." "There will be trouble in your family  caused by a friend of the family." "After that a happy period will begin   because of your husband's understanding." "I see a new outlook for you." "More fun and more freedom." "All conflicts with your husband will disappear." "A miracle." "And you will feel young again." "But now I can see no more." "We're done for now." "I'm not sure... but in the next session things will be more clear." " Go in love and peace." " l thank you." "Farewell." "Goodbye." "He's finished now." "The master is ready for you." "Another 1.000 Lire, and the lady can go inside." "Please go inside." "You have nothing to fear." "Sit down." "I can see... can see... I can see ... I can see..." "I can see a medieval town." "There is a group of girls." "Maybe students   from the same school." "And now I see a boy." "He is with another." "There is an excursion." "All seems to be going well." "You will meet a boy   handsome and understanding." "Maybe the chosen one." "I can't see his name, but it begins with a "G"." "Yes." "A capital "G"." "But I can't see the rest of his name." "It takes time." " What time is it?" " She's already been in there for an hour." " Why is it taking so long?" " The master requires concentration." "He needs inspiration from Allah." "You'll have to be patient." " When will they be done?" " No one knows how long it may take." "Will it take him long to get in touch with Allah?" "No matter... you have plenty of time." "Ah, yes." "Now I can see the name of the boy." "He is called Gianni." "He's waiting for you." "Don't make him wait." "Get up." "Go to him." "Don't wait any longer." "Look at the ocean." "Isn't it beautiful?" "A conch." " Look at this child of the nature." " It's wonderful." "Yes." "It's quite wonderful." "Come with me, darling." "Come on, let's run." "You're wonderful." "I love you... my love!" "Wait, take off your glasses." "I love you." "Come to me, my love!" "You're so beautiful." "Oh, my darling..." "You're so beautiful." "I adore you." "Oh, yes." "Sweetheart. I've been waiting for you for such a long time." " We'll get married." " Of course." "And have children." "I love you." "Take me in your arms." "I am yours." "Never let me go." "Our love will last forever." "I now know that Yvette likes men." "But I'm surprised by Nadia, our teacher." "But she's naive." "Everyone will think that she's a lesbian." "That's stupid." "Because no one can find out that she had sex with the Commander." "No." "She's not a lesbian." "I used to think she was like a nun - frigid." "And Giovanna is in love." "What is it?" "Another conch." " Look..." " It's beautiful..." "Forget the shell." "Come to me!" "My conch is better... 1.000 for you, and 1.000 for me." "1.000 for you, and 1.000 for me." " Another 1.000 for you, and 1.000 for me." " l don't think you're giving me enough." "Do you think I would try to trick you?" "I'm disappointed with you." "1.000 for you, and 1.000 ..." "Tell me, what would you be without me?" "Nothing." "You would be nothing." "Just a fat man." "Don't you get it?" "I'm your manager, understand?" "Where do you get your information?" "Who does that?" " You do it." " Right!" " So... 1000 for me." " For you?" "Wait a minute." " Who had the idea of fortune telling?" " You." "What does a friend do in that case?" "What?" "He gives a percentage to his friend." "1.000 for me." "I don't get it. I made the investment." "I borrowed money for my costume." "I don't think this is fair." "I'm disgusted with you." "The more you do for your friends the less your friends understand you." "1.000 Lire for me." " What a misery." " Yes, yes ..." "I understand." " 1.000 for me." " No!" "That's for me." "I know you're trying to confuse me." "I am not trying to confuse you!" " 1.000 for you." "Here!" " But that's only 500." "I know it's 500." "500 for taxes. 500 for you." "What the hell do you mean by "taxes"?" "You don't understand anything." "Everyone pays taxes." " But why?" " Everyone has to pay taxes." "How would we pay for the civil servants and their holidays?" "Why should they go on holiday?" "Tell me." " The poor civil servants?" " Sure, the poor ones." "Can you change 5.000 Lire?" "Give it here." "It should be no problem." "Yes... yes." "1.000, 2.000, 3.000, 4.000, 4.500 and 500, plus this 5.000 Lire." "That comes to 10.000 Lire." "Do me a favor." "Do you have 10.000 Lire?" "Please exchange it for my money." " Okay..." " Here you go." "It's not a fake." "I don't know why, but something doesn't seem right." " Salvatore, bring me the sausages." " Yes, right away." "Damn, there aren't any left." " The dog ate the sausages." " That's all there is?" "That's it." "How about for dessert?" "You can stick that sausage up your ass." " No, I won't do that." " Wait." "Stay here." "Do you remember the small cans?" "Get them." "And hurry..." " Here they are." " Don't tell anyone." " Massimo!" "Dance with me." " Here I am!" "Just a kiss." " Ciao." " Who is this?" " Hey, guys!" "Do any of you know this woman?" " No." " You know me." " l should know you?" " Yes." " No." " On the beach." "Remember?" " You're the one." "Hey guys, this person is neither a man nor a woman." "Guess what it might be." "Like to find out?" " Doesn't anyone know?" " l know." "He's gay." "Dinner's ready." "Dinner is served!" "A special Chinese dish!" "Good." "It tastes very good." "Compliments to the chef." "Never had better Chinese food." " You've been had." " You've been eating dog food." " Why you are so nervous?" " Nervous?" "I'm not nervous." "I'm happy." "Very happy." " Is something wrong?" " No, everything's fine!" "Couldn't be better!" "Everything's wonderful..." "Okay." "There is one thing." "Something happened." "Otherwise, life is wonderful, but..." "You're not really interested, right?" "Wait a moment. I don't understand." "It isn't easy to talk about it." "Listen, Massimo   it's ... hard to say." " Yes, but I still don't understand." " No?" "One more time." "It's something special for every man." "I think you've already experienced it." "You go up and down." "Up and down." "Up and down." "All the time." "I still don't understand, papa." "I'll have try a different approach." "Wait." " Your mama." " Mama?" "I miss her." " Of course you do." " Don't you miss her, too?" "Well, yes..." " You're right, papa." "It was a long time ago." " Yes, it was." "Sometimes I think of her..." " Yes, mama was..." " Shut your mouth. I can't talk like this." "Go away, I want to talk to my son." "Listen, Massimo, your mama was special." "But a man can't be lonely all the time." "He needs a companion." "Understand?" "For entertainment." "But no boats, no poker." "What are you trying to say?" "Massimo." "Listen..." "I..." " l understand." "Nadia!" " Yes." "Why didn't you just say so?" "You and Nadia." "You want to be together." "That's no problem." "I'm so happy for you." "My son!" "I'm so happy!" " Do you think Marina will mind?" " Marina will be happy, too." "I'll go talk to Nadia." "Goodbye, Massimo!" "What an old fool." "At first I was skeptical about your invitation." " But now I'm sad that the days are over." " Massimo?" "Not just Massimo." "But he's a main reason." "You can see each other again." "Of course." "He'll visit me at school, where I'm still a virgin." "Goodbye, Nadia." " Goodbye." " Ciao." "Take care of yourself." " Goodbye, Commander." " Ciao." "Stay cool." " Goodbye." " Ciao, Commander." "All the best..." "Goodbye, Marina, my love." "Don't cry." "They'll be back soon." "Ciao, Nadia." "See you soon." "Ciao." "The Commander salutes you!" " Is everything all set, Salvatore?" " Yes, everything's fine, Signore Massimo." "Have a nice trip." "Goodbye." "Goodbye." "Take care." "Good luck, girls." "See you soon, okay?" " Hey, are you still here?" " Yes." " Get your hands off me!" " l'm Salvatore's brother. I really like you." "Alright, that changes everything." "Let's play a game, okay?" "You'll like it." "I'm sure." "Now, turn around and bend over." " ls that a promise?" " Yes it's a promise." "Don't worry." "Wait just a moment." "That's it." "Relax!"