"[Fozzie] After you know each other for so long, it happens..." " Easily." " Really easily." "Fozzie and I know each other so well that we often..." " Finish each other's..." " Sentences." " Yeah." " I can start a sentence and he would..." "And I would finish it, and then he would understand what..." "What he was trying to say." "The other day we were riding down to the..." " Grocery store." " We were gonna buy ourselves..." " Some honey." " And cheese." "I put it in the back of..." "The bus that we rented." "Yes, and we rented it from a great place downtown." " Yeah, Saul's." " Yeah, Saul's Bus Rental." "We went to the picnic and I took the big..." " The big shoe." " The big shoe." "I had my big shoe." "And I took the big shoe, and inside was..." " Was this present for all the..." " For all the frogs and pigs." " And the bears." " And the bats and chickens." "We wanted a shoe because it symbolized our..." "Love for our friends." "[Man] So, fellas, what is friendship?" "If you look at it from his point of view..." " You're asking from my point of view." " [Man] Yeah." "From my point of view..." "What I do is I look at it through his point of view." " I have no hair." " I have three." "And when I'm looking through Rizzo's eyes at me, feeling things about him to describe our friendship, then what I'll do is I'll get some therapy and..." " Oh, thank you." " There's a little lint there." " OK." " See, that's a true friend." " Wait..." " What was the question?" "This is a complicated answer." "[Man] How long have you been in therapy?" " A long time." " Really?" " Yeah." " [Man] Is it helping?" " Fifteen years." "Mmm-hmm." " [Man] Fifteen years of therapy." "Ever thought of changing your therapist?" "I don't have a therapist." "I do it myself." " Self-therapy." " Yeah." "It's cheaper that way." "Yeah, of course." "Of course." "Look at me." "What do you think?" "Of course I'm dating." " We are not dating." " She says you're married." " She says she loves you." " I know." " We're married." " [Man] Really?" "To Kermit?" "Yes." "I date quite often." "Don't I, Sal?" "And, uh..." "You know, I mean, Piggy's fine, but we are not dating." "Why do you get upset when you talk about her?" "We are one." "We are one together." "Mmm-hmm." "I pretty much see a different girl every Wednesday and Thursday night." " That's what you're doing?" " What?" "That's what you do?" "And Michelle Pfeiffer." "There's Jennifer Love Hewitt." "[Man] Wow." " It's been going on for years." " Why do you raise your voice like that?" "I said, "I do." Kermit said, "I do." We're married." " [Man] Yes, but I thought..." " We are married!" "[Man] So what about Miss Piggy, fellas?" " To any person..." " Why are you raising your voice?" " [Man] Fellas..." " I guess I feel a little threatened." "Ah-ha!" "You see?" "You need to talk to this person." " She's the queen of mean." " [Spanish accent] You rhyme, OK?" " Uh?" " You rhyme, OK?" " Joo rhyme?" " You say rhyme." "Juicy what?" "Juicy rhyme." "Juicy rind." " No." " He's talking about a watermelon." "And he said, if you're really secure of yourself, you won't react this way to a pig." " Really?" " He didn't use pig." "I'm paraphrasing." " What happened between you?" " It was nothing." "A thing that happened in the '70s." " [Man] You and Miss Piggy?" " What happened?" "I had a little crush." "I don't wanna go into it." "[Spanish accent] Hey, a juicy rhyme!" " What, are you Scottish or something?" " You say rhyme." " [Man] Fellas..." " Hmm?" "Sorry." " [Man] Sorry." " We were working some problems out." "[Man] You guys seem considerably smaller than the other..." " Unbelievable." " So what?" " People always bring up the size." " What's the deal with size?" " What are you looking at?" " Is that cork?" " Corrrk?" " You're making fun of me, OK?" " You know..." " You know what I say." "We're the perfect size for a shrimp and a rat." " You come here, you get insulted." " He's got big nerves, OK?" " Did you call me a shrimp?" " Well, you are a shrimp." " I am not a shrimp." " What are you?" " I am a king prawn, OK?" " No, it's not your stature that counts." "It's your..." "What is it?" " It's your breath." " Are you OK?" "Let me..." "It has nothing to do with size." "It has to do with odor." " Sí." "The hycenogenics, OK?" " That's right." "Hycenogenics?" " If you don't stop to make fun of me..." " I'm sorry." " What is the word?" " I don't know." "[Man] Halitosis." " Excuse me?" " [Man] Halitosis." " Halitosis." " Hali..." "Gesundheit." "[Man laughs]" "[Man] So I understand you have a place in Maine?" " Place in Maine?" " We like to entertain." " A house in Maine?" " In Maine?" "Parties?" "For the parties, I like to make little poo-poos." "You know what poo-poos are?" " I go to the parties, OK?" " [Man] You do go to the parties?" " I go to all of the parties." " Excuse me." "Were you an hors d'oeuvre?" " [Man] She creates poo-poo platters." " Poo-poo platters?" "I didn't know what they were." "Scared the papayas out of me." "But when I found out..." "They were hors d'oeuvres!" "You'd think we'd get invited." "I put the poo-poos on their platter, and I ask Kermit to serve them." "He's very good at that." " Kermin comes." " Kerrrmin?" "Sí." "That's ridiculous." "I've never even been to Maine." "He goes around with his little platter." ""Would you like a poo-poo?"" "A pig that creates poo-poo platters?" "That must be a mess." "[Man] Where is your favorite place to visit?" " Paris." " [Man] Paris." " Mmm." "The city of Loove." " Mmm." "You know what else it has there?" "The Louvre." "[Man enunciates] The Louvre." "Well, the truth is, I don't actually go to Paris." " [Man] Oh." "Oh, I get it." " I don't go to Paris." "The leg thing." "What's that little, small, tiny peninsula there off of Australia?" " [Man] Uh..." " You know what I'm talking about?" "Know what sport is my favorite sport?" "Luge." "[Man] Luge." " [Man] New Zealand?" " Is that New Zealand?" "I don't wanna come back in pieces." " [Man] I hear you." " Under cellophane." "One of those new things, one of those new places." "New..." "New something." "New Orleans." "New Orleans!" "[Man] Oh, right." "Off Australia, sure." "You know what kind of clothing I like?" "Loose clothing." "[Man laughs]" "[Man] Pepe, what is the secret to success?" " This is good, OK?" "Good question, OK?" " Thank you." "I have three secrets for success which I call "Pepe's Three Secrets for Success," OK?" "The first secret, which I call Secret A," "I cannot tell you because it is a secret." "The second secret, which I call Secret Number Two or B, is this:" "If that doesn't work, go to secret number three, OK?" "Secret number three is the most important secret of all, OK?" "But it is really a part of secret number one, OK?" "So it may not make much sense, but here goes again." "Always rinse carefully, and allow to drain for three minutes before chilling." "[Man] Where do you find happiness?" "True happiness comes from a perfect balance of worldly success and personal satisfacción." "I think the best way to find happiness is to stop looking so hard." "In my bank account, OK?" "Happiness starts inside of vous." "If your insides are not happy, then your outsides won't be happy, either." "I didn't know I was looking for it." "What do you mean by that?" "Johnny Fiama's happy." " I'm very happy." "Always happy." " We're happy." "You can search, but the minute you stop looking, you find out it's there already." "That sound too weird?" "Nice cars?" "To have a nice car?" "Is this right?" "That is why moi always makes certain my insides are as joyful as they can be." "Got any more of those chocolate cherry thingies?" "[Man] Oh, yeah, right there." "[Man] Animal, what makes you truly happy?" " Game!" "Game!" " Game?" " Animal?" " Uh?" " I'm over here." " Well, hi!" " Hi, Animal." " Hi!" " Drum!" "Drum!" "Drum!" "Drum!" "Drum!" " Animal?" "When I say a word, if it reminds you of something, you say it." " Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah." " Ready?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah." " Animal?" " Uh?" "Yeah!" "Then you say the first thing that comes into your head." " Hi!" " Hi." " Hi!" "Drum!" "Drum!" "Drum!" "Drum!" "Drum!" " OK." "OK." " Let's talk about something else." " Bunny rabbit." " You like bunny rabbits?" " Like bunny rabbit." " Like bunny rabbit." " Do you have a bunny rabbit?" " No, I don't." " Would you like a bunny rabbit?" " Like bunny rabbit." " A big bunny rabbit?" "A small bunny rabbit." " A small bunny rabbit." " Please." "[Man] Who inspires you?" " Ben." "You know, Ben." " Ben who?" "Oh, Ben the rat." "Ben the rat." "Yeah, yeah." "Who inspires me?" "Um..." "I have to say that my inspiration comes largely from the folks around me." " Dick Van Dyke, OK?" " Dick Van Dyke?" " Sí." "So funny, OK?" " He's very funny." "Well, let's see." "That'd have to be Richard Nixon." " [Man] Richard Nixon?" " I'm kidding ya, I'm kidding ya." "I'm kidding ya." "[Laughs] No, I'm kidding ya." " You know..." " It's just my Hollywood friends." "You know, Mick, Don, the guys that I hang out with." " [Man] Mick Jagger?" " No, Mouse." "Sure." "Particularly those close to me." "The Muppets particularly, you know." " [Man] Oh, Mickey Mouse." " Don Johnson?" " No, Duck." " Oh." "[Man] What was Jim Henson like?" "I'm sorry?" "Who?" "Oh, like, 6'2", I think." " [Man] Really?" " Yeah." "Are you making a joke about our, like, godfather?" "Hmm." "He always seemed to be hanging around whenever we were working." "Who?" " You making a joke about Jim?" " I'm sorry." "I didn't know him." " A great guy." "You didn't know him?" " No." "No." "Nope, got me." "Jim Henson." "I don't know the man." "Tell me about him." "He used to have these parties up in Maine." "It was so beautiful." "Thanks a lot." "I never get invited..." "That's it!" "Oh, I wasn't supposed to mention that." "Rizzo?" "I'm sorry." "Did I blow that?" "He seemed to have a hand in everything we did." "Yeah, nice guy." "[Man] How does it feel to be a role model?" " Me, a role model?" " [Man] Yeah." "Well, I never really think of myself that way." "Most pigs don't feel that burden, but moi does and moi accepts it." " I wouldn't know." " Of course you would." " People look up to you." " Not a living thing looks up to me." "No, not people, but smaller..." "Mice look up to you." "What better role model would vous want?" " [Man] That's true." " You're right." "Never thought about it." "Little kangaroo mice." "All over the world." " Sugar gliders." " Tasmanian devils." "Little guys." "I just see myself as your average, everyday talking frog who puts his pants on one leg at a time." "Well, I would if I wore pants." " [Man] Gonzo, how does it feel?" " It feels good." "It feels really good that I can pass on this kind of ethos that I have." "Are you passing ethos again?"