"Previously on "private practice"... cooper, charlotte was raped." "It's number 2." "The d.A. Won't prosecute lee mchenry." "You'll do it againlee." "You'll rape another woman." "You don't know me." "that man cannot go free." "I will get a gun, make it look like a mugging." "I'm sorry, susan." "The cancer has spread," "And there's nothing I can do." "You will save her life!" "Addison." "I'm marrying susan." "I know the cancer's come back." "I signed a d.N.R.," "And you can't tell bizzy." "She's crashing." "I need a c.B.C., chem panel," "And a blood culture times 3." "And hang 2 liters of saline, wide-open." "What's happening?" "Set up a central line and start a dopamine drip." "Addiso tell me what is happening." "Can't get a blood pressure." "She's in shock." "Probably septic." "Okay, line's in." "Titrate the dopamine to a pressure of 90." "Addison?" "It's gonna take a minute for the medicine to take effect." "85." "90." "95." "Okay, pressure's coming up." "Go ahead and hang the first dose of antibiotics." "Is sh-- is she-- is susan gonna be all right?" "She's gonna be all right." "Whew." "Oh, hey, amelia." "Have you got a minute?" "No." "I have not heard from addison about susan," "And I'm late for the dorkfest that is" "The neurology department monthly breakfast roundtable." "And I'm late that sounds horrible.That is" "It is." "It's boring and self-congratulatory." "Can you give me a reason, any reason, for a no-show?" "Lizzie hagan." "Army vet, just back from afghanistan." "I.E.D. Explosion-- lost her right eye," "Decreased vision in her left because of shrapnel" "Lodged in her brain." "Tough choice." "Help a wounded soldier see again" "Or endure a bunch of lame old men" "Joking about my frontal lobes." "Eric and I, we had just found out that morning" "That I was pregnant." "We didn't even have time to celebrate" "Before they put us in the convoy." "He didn't want me to go," "But I couldn't say no." "Anyway, eric and I, we were-- we were sitting together" "And we were whispering back and forth" "About a spring wedding." "And, um..." "And then we hit the I.E.D." "And everything went really bright" "And then really dark." "And I was thrown out of our humvee." "And I tried to get up and look for eric," "But I couldn't see." "Ke your time, lizzie." "I didn't have time to process what had happened to me" "Until I got to the hospital" "And I realized that I could barely see" "Any of the doctors who were talking." "How's the vision in your left eye?" "I can see shapes and forms, but it's pretty blurry." "Is there..." "Anything you can do?" "Well, let me take some scans." "Depending on how the shrapnel is compressing your optic nerve," "I may be able to remove it." "Losing eric and my injuries," "It's just all been really hard." "But since natasha was born two months ago," "I" " I have to be hopeful, for her sake and for mine." "We're all each other has." "Lizzie, is natasha still latching on?" "I think so." "Yeah." "Why?" "She's turning blue." "What's wrong?" "Here." "She's not breathing." "Amelia, bag." "What-- what's going on?" "What's happening to her?" "Dr. Wilder is trying to resuscitate your baby." "Oh, god." "Is she gonna be okay?" "You-- you have to save her." "Natasha?" "All right." "What do we have?" "White male, 30s, stabbed in the chest." "Stable?" "He's lost a lot of blood, and there's a knife." "So he was hitting you?" "He's..." "I didn't mean to, but he wouldn't stop!" "And I saw the knife, and I just grabbed it," "And..." "let's-- let's go." "Blood pressure, pulse?" "130 over 90." "Pulse is 120." "Okay, I'm gonna need a portable ultrasound." "Am I gonna make it, doc?" "We're gonna do the best we can." "What's your name, sir?" "lee... mchenry." "I was just checking on susan and I heard." "What happened?" "He was using his girlfriend as a punching bag." "She decided to defend herself using this." "Is he gonna make it?" "I don't know." "The blade cut all the way through the lung tissue." "It's lodged near the heart, acting like a stopper," "Preventing him from bleeding out." "What happens if you take it out?" "Well, right now he'll die." "We have to wait until his blood is clotting better" "Before we can operate." "When will that be?" "I don't know." "If he's lucky it'll be before" "The pressure builds too much and his heart ruptures." "Someone should give his girlfriend" "A medal for doing this." "Does charlotte know that he's here?" "Uh, clearly, lizzie's eyesight is worse than she's telling us." "It was an accident." "An accident?" "If we hadn't been there" "What happened?" "One of pete's patient's" "Smothered her baby while breast-feeding." "Is the baby okay?" "For now." "Amelia, she" "Well, now it does happen." "New moms fall asleep" "Or-- or hold the baby too tightly." "This mom's blind." "Partially blind." "With the proper instruction," "It won't happen again." "You don't know that." "There's a million mplications that blind parents face" "That seeing parents just don't." "But blind parents raise children all the time" "With help." "Single mom, no family around." "Can she afford a nanny?" "Not on disability." "She is the mother of that child." "She has a right to raise her." "As along as the child is protected." "If she can't do that, then-- then we need to help her." "Bizzy, you should go back to the hotel," "Get some rest." "No, not while susan's here." "The chemotherapy has suppressed her immune system," "And she had trouble fighng off the infection, but now" "She's fine." "She just needs sleep, and you do, too." "Go." "Call me if she wakes." "she loves her..." "Very much." "Yeah, she does." "I was just coming to see you." "Janet, uh, pete wilder," "The doctor who referred lizzie to me." "Hello." "Hi." "You know lizzie?" "Eric, my son, was her boyfriend." "I'm so sorry for your loss." "Thank you." "I didn't realize eric had family nearby." "Actually, I live in san diego," "But when dr." "Shepherd called this morning," "I drove straight up." "I'm here to take home my son's baby." "Sam?" "Is he..." "How bad is it?" "He's got a knife in his chest." "He's not stable enough for me to operate," "So I can't remove it yet." "Charlotte, there's nothing for you to do here." "If he dies, would anyone be surprised?" "Look, I know what it's like to want somebody dead," "Someone who deserves it," "But to actually allow for that to happen..." "Who would care?" "Sam, if I-- code blue, bay three." "Code blue, bay three." "That's lee." "He's crashing." "What do you want me to do, charlotte?" "His sats are dropping." "All right." "Give me an intubation tray." "Can you..." "Can you take it out?" "I have to open up your chest, which means putting you" "On a bypass machine." "That's gonna thin your blo, and right now," "With the damage to your lung," "You'd bleed out and die on the table." "Now I'm gonna put a tube down your throat" "To suction all the blood out so you don't drown." "But the knife-- it's bad either way." "please don't let me die." "You're friends with her." "Yeah." "She's" "I don't want to hear anything you have to say about her." "Sedate him." "I didn't find out about the pregnancy" "Until after I buried eric." "The army sent me his things, and I, uh..." "I found a, uh, a half-written letter." "So I called lizzie." "She had just gotten out of the hospital." "She was seven months pregnant and scared, and I" "I told her to come see our doctors," "Have the baby in san diego." "You wanted to help." "Of course." "Maybe I pushed too hard." "First she stopped returning my calls," "Then she moved apartments without telling us." "We didn't even know she had given birth" "Until a week after it happened." "Look, I have nothing against lizzie," "But natasha is my granddaughter," "And I have a responsibility to her," "Which is..." "The baby should come back with me." "And what happens to lizzie?" "She can staye and get the medical help she needs." "We'll bring her down for visits, on-- on holidays." "So you want her to give up her baby?" "Do you think she'll have a choice?" "Dr. Shepherd can operate" "And help lizzie regain the vision in her good eye." "Maybe." "I mean, even if her scans look good," "There's no guarantee it'll be successful." "But I know lizzie wants to try." "Then you'll try." "But if you can't give lizzie back her eyesight," "Natasha is coming home with me." "Have you heard from addison?" "Yeah." "Susan's stabilized," "And she's responding to antibiotics, so..." "Oh, good." "Bizzy must be relieved." "I got lizzie's scans back." "You want to take a look?" "No, no, no, no." "Let me pick you up." "Okay." "Okay, well, I'm-- I'm" " I'm here." "I'll be here." "Um..." "Lee mchenry" "Is in the I.C.U. With knife in his chest." "Oh, cooper." "What?" "Are you kidding?" "Yeah, and sam wants to try to save him." "Well, that's his job." "If violet had been attacked, I wouldn't want sam being a hero." "He's supposed to let him die?" "How is charlotte?" "She can barely talk about it." "I..." "I can't believe this nightmare is not over." "Hey." "You're looking better." "Now I just need to get outta here." "All of the tubes and the drugs" "And no offense, the doctors..." "I'm just so tired of it all." "And poor bizzy." "Oh, she'll be fine." "She's nothing if not resilient." "In her way, she's..." "Amazing." "It was a nice wedding, wasn't it?" "Mm-hmm." "oh, my..." "Chest." "I need a blood gas and a bolus of heparin." "Go." "Hurts..." "To breathe." "Susan, you may have thrown a clot in your lung." "You said before that you didn't" "No." "No heroics." "Please." "Bizzy." "I'll get her." "Bizzy." "Hey." "You okay?" "It's never gonna be over, is it?" "It could be." "If I tell sam to kill..." "Lee..." "That's on me, forever." "If I tell sam to save lee..." "He'll always be out there." "Charlotte, wait." "Either way, coop, I lose." "Hang a t.P.A. And increase the oxygen to 100 %." "Susan." "You said I could go." "You said she'd be all right." "Susan has" "A large blood clot in her lung," "And we're treating it as aggressively as we can," "But she-- well, do whatever you have to." "I want more, much more." "no pulse." "Dr. Montgomery, should I call the code team?" "No." "Why aren't you doing anything?" "Susan signed a d.N.R. She didn't want me to tell you." "I don't care." "Save her." "I'm sorry." "I can't." "You can." "Susan was clear." "Addison!" "Do something!" "Oh!" "Come on." "Come on." "Bizzy." "Help her!" "Bizzy." "You can't just stand there and watch her die!" "Bizzy." "Bizzy." "You can't..." "Bizzy." "Addie, I'm so sorry." "I'm sorry for bizzy." "I'm sorry for you." "what did she want me to do?" "Susan had a d.N.R." "Listen to me." "You did the right thing." "You did what susan wanted." "Bizzy's never gonna forgive me." "Oh, e will." "She just-- she just needs time." "You'll see." "She lost the one person that she loves." "And I-I lost my mother." "♪ I'm always beneath you ♪" "I'll catch up with you later, okay?" "Oh, I'm so sorry." "hey." "If sam doesn't get him into the o.R. Soon," "He's gonna die." "Is that what you want?" "Sam would do that for me." "I know he would." "Okay, but..." "Is that what you want," "To have sam let this man die?" "my first impulse was..." "I wanted that bastard moved to an exam room." "I could put a towel under the door," "Grab a scalpel..." "And some hydrogen peroxide." "I wanted him to feel pain..." "And fear." "And now?" "I don't know." "Charlotte, I have to do something" "That I don't normally do." "I can't be objective here because it's you" "And because I was a part of this." "And, uh, I'm just gonna tell you what I think," "And that is that..." "You make life-and-death decisions" "For patients every day, and I see you do it." "You're logical and brilliant and dispassionate," "And..." "If I ever had an emergency," "I would want you to be my doctor." "If you saw him on the street," "And he tried to attack you again," "I believe you could kill him." "But when he comes into your hospital needing help," "That's different." "He took a lot from you, charlotte." "But you can't let him take what makes you you." "the shrapnel is..." "It's there." "It's amazing." "I'm walking and talking" "With a piece of metal in my head." "Can you get to it safely?" "I can get to it, but it might be better to leave it." "Why?" "The shrapnel is wedged" "Right up against the bottom of your optic nerve." "The scar tissue has healed around it." "It's not gonna be easy to get out, and if I cut" "Or damage the nerve while I'm in there trying," "You could lose whatever eyesight you still have left." "It could also cause a bleed in your brain" "That would be difficult to st." "I want the surgery." "Lizzie..." "I talked to eric's mom, janet, and she" "You what?" "Sh-she wants to be involved." "She wants to help with you and natasha." "She wants to take natasha." "She always has." "Lizzie, will you excuse us" "For just one minute?" "Whose side are you on?" "The side that says we do what is best for our patient." "Which is why you shouldn't have called janet" "To take away lizzie's baby." "Just do the surgery." "It is dangerous, and there's a better solution." "Lizzie losing natasha?" "She can't see, pete." "She has no money." "Her entire life is gonna be an uphill battle," "Which means that natasha's will be, too." "Look, if janet wants to help-- janet is not the patient." "Do the surgery." "where is he?" "Don't do this." "Don't" "How's it feel, you piece of crap, huh..." "To have someone attack you?" "!" "Cooper, walk away." "You know who I am?" "!" "I am her fiancé!" "I need 30 seconds alone in a room with you!" "Walk away." "Walk away." "Let me go!" "Y-you don't wanna-- you don't wanna" " I'll do it." "I'll do it." "You want to go in there?" "Fine." "Go in there." "Go." "Kill him." "Why are you helping him?" "Why is he ill alive?" "I don't want charlotte toall apart again" "Right when she's getting better." "What's going on?" "Nothing." "did you come here to" "Oh, butt out, sheldon." "Come on, cooper." "No." "You're not part of this." "No, I am very much a part of this." "I had lee in an interview room and didn't put it together" "That he was the one who hurt charlotte." "I'm the reason that charlotte's I.D. After the second lineup" "Got tossed out." "All I did do is let that animal choke me." "And do you know what, cooper?" "You know what's most important?" "I consider charlotte a friend, and I failed her." "I failed my friend." "So don't tell me that I'm not involved." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "You've waited this long." "Just let him die." "Please." "I thought the nurses were..." "Confused" "When they said you were in here." "This is what one does after a death, isn't it" "Turn to god, look for solace?" "I'm so, so sorry." "I..." "If there's anything I can do," "If you want to come stay with me-- you've done enough." "If I could've helped susan-- you could have." "That's not what she wanted." "The d.N.R." "Enough." "It's done." "You know that I would do anything..." "For you, don't..." "I'm trying, you know?" "I'm" "Is this making you feel better, addison?" "Do you really not understand," "Or do you just need to blame someone for what hpened?" "What difference does it make, dear?" "charlotte." "Cooper's looking for you." "I know." "He knocks her around and god knows what else," "Yet there she sits," "Keeping a vigil." "When I was a little girl," "I used to go to church every Sunday with my daddy." "I'd sit on his lap and daydream through most of it," "But..." "What got my attention week in and week out" "Was the pastor's sermon." "Now he'd bang on about this or that," "But it always came back to one thing..." "Good..." "And evil..." "How the righteous need to see evil" "And resist it with everything that they have." "It scared me," "But there was something..." "Comforting about it," "About how black-and-white it seemed." "Yeah." "But you get older, and you realize..." "It's not black-and-white at all..." "Picking out what's right from what's wrong..." "Deciding where to draw that line." "I understand, charlotte," "I do," "You wanting to see him dead for-- for what he did to you." "But..." "I think you need to ask yourself," "If the only way that can happen" "Is you having a hand in it," "Is that gonna bring you peace or..." "More torment?" "How am I supposed to know that?" "Well, maybe you can't, but, uh..." "I just..." "You know that man who killed dell" "And almost killed maya and olivia?" "I just had this instinct" "That the only way that I was gonna be able" "To let go of all the anger I felt..." "Was to forgive him." "So..." "The bleeding in mr." "Mchenry's lungs is under control," "And his respiratory function is back to normal." "If he's gonna have any chance, I can't wait much longer" "Before removing the knif" "Do it." "Are you sure?" "Do whatever you have to to save him." "You're gonna feel some pressure." "It feels weird." "This is the worst part." "I know you don't think I'll be a good mother." "Raising a baby..." "It's hard when you can see." "But trying to do it when you can't, alone..." "There are plenty of people out there who can see," "And they're still terrible parents." "They ignore their kids." "They mistreat them." "I've had a lot of challenges" "In my life already, dr." "Shepherd." "Mostly ones I didn't want." "T now, having natasha," "She is more important to me than anything." "And I promise you, I will make it work." "Whatever it takes, I will make it work." "I'm not crazy." "No one said you were." "And everything you're feeling is justified" "The anger d the frustration-- but you can't act on it." "That's the difference between you and lee" ".The capacity to control your emotions" ".It's easy to say that in the abstract" "But to see that man and know what he did to charlotte..." "You're wrong." "I know what you're thinking." "I know it feels right, but you're wrong." "Sam." "Please." "Charlotte asked me to save him." "And I'm asking you not to." "He'll do it again." "The d.A. Won't prosecute him." "Cooper" "I'm not saying don't go in there." "I'm saying you don't have to let him come out." "Do you think that it makes me happy" "To have to go in there and try to save that guy?" "Do you?" "We took an oath." "Screw the oath." "He raped charlotte." "He raped her." "And he deserves so much worse than anything you or I" "Could ever do." "If we cross that line-- if there was ever a time, it's now." "Then what, cooper?" "Where does it stop?" "Look, I-I know that you can rationalize this" "Just like I ha, addison, pete, the entire practice." "But at the end of the day," "All the rationalization doesn't make what we're doing right." "It's wrong." "To let a man die, no matter how bad he is," "It's wrong." "You're right, sam." "This..." "This is what we do." "How's bizzy holding up?" "No way to tell." "And you?" "I am..." "I am not..." "Holding up." "You did..." "The right thing, addison." "Then why doesn't it feel that way?" "Well, I haven't known your mother very long," "But she seems like a hard woman to please." "Impossible." "Then why do you keep trying?" "Because she's my mother." "And I guess..." "Somewhere deep down," "There's that instinct to please..." "The idea that..." "You'll get something back." "I can't let that go." "is that crazy?" "No." "That's love." "Okay, let's go." "Wait." "I just wanted to make sure, if you don't make it," "The last image you have" "Was of me." "Hi." "Sorry." "I'm..." "My name's nancy." "I know who you are." "Look, I-I don't want to bother you, but..." "Is he gonna be okay?" "I don't know." "But this doctor working on him, is he good?" "He's the best." "Is this..." "Is this where it happened?" "You know what he did to me?" "Lee told me." "This is where it happened." "I'm sorry." "What exactly are you sorry for," "That your boyfriend raped me..." "That you're too weak to leave him..." "That the male role model in your son's life" "Is a violent predator?" "What?" "I'm sorry." "I am." "But I love him." "do you know how horrible it is" "To love someone like this?" "No." "With me..." "With our boy..." "Lee can be gentle and sweet when he wants to be." "That doesn't make it okay." "You can kid yourself, nancy." "But you and lee," "It's gonna end badly." "So the way I see it, you got two choices." "You could try to put him in the ground again," "Which is what he deserves." "But given what that would mean for you and your boy..." "You have to run." "Take your boy and run." "will we know right away?" "As soon as the bandages come off." "Take your time." "Just open your eyes, slowly." "What do you see?" "Gray..." "Walls." "And yellow curtains." "I-- the room." "I see everything." "Your turquoise scrub cap." "Congratulations." "And thank you." "You're a miracle worker, dr." "Shepherd." "I'm happy for you, lizzie," "And natasha." "Excuse me." "Janet, wait." "Oh." "Janet, wait." "I'm sorry." "You-- you must think I'm a terrible person," "Crying because lizzie got her eyesight back." "No, I don't think that." "it wasn't supposed to be like this." "Eric was supposed to come home." "Then he would fall in love, and I'd gain a daughter..." "And..." "We'd dance at the-- at the wedding," "And..." "Then there'd be grand" "There'd be grandchildren," "And I'd be there for them." "It wasn't supposed to be like this." "She's devastated." "Imagine how upset she would be" "If she knew that you lied to her." "My turquoise scrub cap?" "Really?" "When the bandage came off," "Her pupil did not react to the bright lights." "The surgery didn't work, pete." "I mean, she's totally blind now." "You coached her to fool janet." "She can't fool me." "I'm sorry." "I..." "I really was hoping the surgery would work." "But if it didn't," "The only way to keep lizzie and natasha together" "Was to convince janet she could see again." "And you think that makes it okay?" "Where is the freakin' line with you people?" "Seriously, pete." "I won't lie for her." "Yodn't either." "Xhales)" "Wh-why am I" "Your girlfriend called the police." "Told 'em you admitted to raping me." "Are you-- gonna hurt you?" "If I wanted you dead, you'd be gone by now." "Building you up in my head as some big bad monster." "The truth is, you're nothing." "Nothing..." "But a sad, pathic little man" "Who has to beat and rape women" "To make himself feel big." "You got no power over me." "I am not afraid of you." "But I do pity you." "I don't need your pity." "Yes, you do." "And I forgive you." "♪ so long ♪" "♪ so long ♪" "♪ it's been nice knowing you ♪" "♪ 'cause you're gone, gone ♪" "Here, bizzy, let me take that." "Here." "Let me take... ♪ off to the edge of the moon ♪" "I know you're angry" "And in pain, but you're not alone." "Oh, for heaven sakes, addison." "Stop talking." "I am alone." "I'm completely and utterly alone." "My life began when I met susan." "Do you understand that?" "She meant everything to me." "And now what?" "Where do I go?" "What do I do?" "Date?" "If I could bear the thought of it," "I wouldn't know how." "I'm..." "I don't know what I am." "Look, this is new" "And..." "Scary," "But it's not forever." "Then what is?" "What do you see" "For the rest of my life without susan?" "I don't know." "But I am here to help you figure that out." "Let me help you, because in spite of everything," "Even though you can't say it, you've never said it," "I love you," "And I am here." "♪ oh, oh, oh ♪" "Thank you." "♪ oh ♪" "♪ oh ♪" "♪ oh, oh, oh ♪" "All right." "I'm gonna spend the night." "And I'm gonna help you get packed." "Oh, no, dear." "I'll be fine." "No, I want to stay." "I" " I'll take care of this tomorrow." "I'm exhausted, and I'm sure you are, too." "No, I'll be okay." "Go home." "Go home to sam." "He's a nice guy." "Stick with him." "You can come by tomorrow and help." "Are you sure?" "We'll order breakfast." "But I beg of you, bring some decent coffee." "All right." "♪" "Okay." "So I'll see you, uh, tomorrow." "♪ oh ♪" "♪ oh, oh, oh ♪" "I don't mean to interrupt," "But I-I need to drive back down to san diego tonight," "And I-- you want to say good-bye to natasha." "Please." "Lizzie, may I?" "Mm-hmm." "hello." "oh, my goodness." "You look just like your daddy did" "When he was your age." "Don't you?" "Yes, you do." "Take good care of her." "Janet, wait." "There's something I need to tell you." "No, dr." "Wilder." "Please." "The operation wasn't a success." "But I saw her..." "What do you mean?" "I didn't get any better." "But I can do this." "I can." "You lied to me?" "I did." "Oh, I'm sure it was her idea." "I did it for natasha." "Why do you always treat me like I'm your enemy?" "You want to take my baby." "You know what?" "We'll let a court settlehis." "Okay, enough." "Both of you, just stop." "You both loved that man." "I didn't know eric, but I'm a father," "And I can't imagine what he would feel," "Knowing that you're fighting over this baby." "I miss eric every day." "I do, too." "You both loved eric the way you both love natasha." "It's time for you to start putting her interests" "Ahead of your own." "Right now, this little girl needs you both." "I c-could, um..." "I could stay." "Just-- just until you get comfortable." "I don't know." "I would only stay as long as you wanted me to." "♪ they won't hold ♪" "Maybe." "Maybe we should try." "Hey." "Been looking all over for you." "♪ I'd have done anything ♪" "You all right?" "I am." "♪ to be there ♪" "Now my office is just..." "My office." "That's all." "♪ to be there ♪" "For the first time," "I feel like everything's gonna be all right." "Bizzy?" "I decided I am sleeping over." "And I brought the good coffee." ""dear addison..."" "bizzy, what have you done?" ""the necklace is for you." ""the money is for housekeeping." ""apologize to them for the inconvenience." ""and when people ask," "Tell them I died in my sleep."" ""the truth is..."" "no, mommy." ""too embarrassing."" "No."