"Hey!" "Are you really going home?" "Hey!" "Are you really really going home?" "Are you really really really going home?" "I am really really really going home because I really really really really need to pee!" "Come on man!" "The night's still young!" "Hey!" "What is it now?" "You are really going upstairs alone?" "Aren't you scared?" "What's there to be scared of?" "Ghosts!" "Which floor do you stay on?" "The tenth floor." "Be careful of ghosts waiting inside the lift!" "You're nuts!" "Don't move..." "Can't you keep still for a moment?" "Any ghosts in here?" "I'm coming in!" "Hurry up..." "Hurry up..." "Who are you looking for?" "It's such an ungodly hour..." "Who is it?" "Isn't this Block 114?" "This is Block 113!" "Sorry." "I'm so sorry." "Sorry for waking you." "What a load of crap!" "What kind of dumbass horror movie is this?" "How could that fat ghost's head turn like that?" "How?" "You tell me!" "You tell me!" "Have you ever seen a ghost who can turn his head 360 degrees?" "Yeah!" "Maybe if you cut off the head and put it in a washing machine!" "Dear audience, these two idiots are talking so loudly, yet no one seems to care." "Do you know why?" "Because like me... they are ghosts." "Hi, my name's Sunny." "Using my video camera," "I can answer all questions about ghosts." "Okay first question." "Excuse me..." "Can ghosts appear in the day?" "Of course!" "But Singapore is so blazing hot, only dumb ghosts will come out in the day." "Excuse me..." "Can humans see ghosts?" "What do you think?" "Can you see me?" "Heh, I can't." "There you go." "Humans cannot see ghosts." "But... what about all those horror movies in which humans see ghosts?" "Those movies are talking through their asses." "However, there are some "lucky" people, who can see ghosts." "Excuse me..." "Can ghosts talk?" "Let me ask you a question." "What am I doing right now?" "Heh, you are talking to me." "Bingo!" "I tell you!" "The government is really too much!" "Disallowing this and disallowing that!" "Living in Singapore is like being stuck in a prison!" "Singapore's not at all like a prison." "In prison, at least food and board is free!" "Hey, we better not talk so loudly." "We might get arrested." "Are the two of you crazy?" "We are already dead!" "We are not humans!" "We are ghosts!" "What can the government do to us?" "Heh, he's right!" "No smoking?" "This is a cafe!" "Who says you can't smoke in a cafe?" "The government!" "Haven't you heard?" "They've just passed a law banning smoking in cafes!" "Come on!" "This is not a normal cafe!" "This is a ghost cafe!" "Human or ghost what's the difference?" "Everybody's scared of the government." "We'd better put out our cigarettes." "Do ghosts look scary?" "Make a guess!" "Who are the humans and who are the ghosts?" "Frankly, some people actually look scarier than ghosts!" "Nice shirt." "Where did you get it?" "Crocodile." "I thought only uncles wear Crocodile." "Crocodile has changed." "Where do ghosts stay?" "Upperclass ghosts stay in bungalows." "Middleclass ghosts stay in condos." "And ghosts, who are broke, stay in public housing." "So, where do you stay?" "I stay in this apartment with five other ghosts." "These two clowns are Hip and Hop." "They'll introduce you to our three other housemates." "Alright!" "Alright!" "Check out this dame here." "Look at her pitiful face." "That's right she's one of our housemates." "Housemate!" "Madam Wong!" "Madam Wong!" "Wanna know how she died?" "You would never guess." "Tired out from cleaning the house, she was cooking instant noodles for her daughterinlaw when she dozed off next to the stove." "Madam Wong was gassed to death." "Please!" "Please don't rape me!" "Madam Wong, take a break and come over here." "Tell our audience your tragic story." "Both the maid and my daughterinlaw are so lazy." "Look how messy the entire house is!" "I have to come back from the dead to do housework for them!" "And today, I even made porkrib lotusroot soup for them." "You should get your eyes checked!" "Don't make a mountain out of a molehill!" "It was just a small scratch!" "You call that a small scratch?" "The whole bumper fell off!" "You're never driving the car again!" "Who wants to drive that piece of shit!" "Maria!" "Yes?" "Very clean." "Very good." "The whole house is so clean." "Come." "I hope everybody's hungry!" "Maria made porkrib lotusroot soup!" "What's the matter with you!" "Maria, come!" "See, see!" "Told you not to throw your toys all over the place!" "Now see what you have done!" "Stop scaring the kid!" "Maria, we'll have dinner out." "Clean up this mess." "Clean up properly." "I'm so tired." "Don't!" "I'm the only virgin in the village!" "This right here is Wan Yi." "Four years ago, she was in a crowded coffee shop, when she choked to death on a fishball." "Not a single person tried to help her out." "Ever since then, she has been on a foolish crusade to punish all inconsiderate Singaporeans." "The key word here is FOOLISH!" "See that pack of tissue?" "I reserved this table!" "Says who?" "That pack of tissue is mine!" "Who says that pack of tissue is yours?" "That pack of tissue is mine!" "You three don't need to argue." "This table is mine!" "That pack of tissue is mine!" "Which gang do you belong to?" "Are you talking to me?" "Do you have your gang outside?" "Piss me off and I'm gonna call my gang!" "Go ahead!" "Call your whole gang to come down!" "We'll see who gets chopped first!" "Excuse me..." "There're still three more hours to closing time." "If you fight now," "I'll lose a lot of business." "However, if you still insist on fighting, nobody here can stop you." "But before that happens," "I would like to remind you politely there are four chairs at this table." "Think about that, okay?" "What are you looking at!" "Nothing..." "Are you raising your voice?" "No, I'm not." "Sorry." "Are you tired of living?" "No, no." "My apologies..." "Bon appetit..." "Alright!" "After those two basket cases, let's check this one out." "His name is Ah Boon." "And he's one very strange ghost." "Hey, Ah Boon!" "Say what's up to the people out there, man!" "Don't bother me." "I'm very busy." "He doesn't seem like much now but 10 years ago," "Ah Boon was actually a member of the National Badminton team as a reserve." "Once, in a warmup game against Singapore's No. 1, this weirdo insisted on hitting back the shuttlecock even though it had gone out of court." "As a result, No. 1 kept on smashing, and Ah Boon on returning the shots." "Back and forth, the shuttlecock was kept fin play." "Guess what happened next?" "It was amazing!" "The game became a battle of will!" "With great force, No. 1 sent the shuttlecock flying all the way to the carpark beyond the court!" "Ah Boon dashed on to the road!" "And just as he returned the shot," "No. 1 collapsed, unable to continue." "Obstinate as a mule, Ah Boon won the game!" "But..." "He was hit and killed by a cementmixer truck." "Comedy or tragedy?" "Not cool, man." "Not cool!" "You think he's strange?" "I think he's crazy!" "Crazy!" "See that watermelon it's floating away!" "It's not floating." "Just rolling away!" "Two hundred thousand!" "Where am I going to find that money?" "Why can't you give me some more time?" "Must you drive me up against the wall?" "You loan sharks are really dumb." "If I die, who's going to pay you?" "Life is short..." "I'll leave my next moment to destiny!" "Hello, Mary?" "No, I didn't call you." "I didn't call, you crazy bitch!" "Watch your language!" "Who are you calling a bastard?" "I am your husband!" "I'm jumping off a building now." "So why don't you go kill yourself too?" "Die, you bitch!" "Life is short..." "I'll leave my next moment to destiny!" "My son!" "My daughter!" "Your daddy is useless!" "After I die, both of you will become delinquents." "You will take drugs, sniff glue, join the mafia, get tattoos, learn to gamble and then one fine day, you'll end up like me jumping off a roof!" "Life is short..." "I'll leave my next moment to destiny!" "Damn!" "That looks painful..." "I think I'd better not jump." "What do ghosts eat?" "Ghosts eat whatever people put on the altar." "Oh, hell, no!" "Oranges and pork belly again!" "We've been eating this shit every day for years!" "Breakfast, lunch and dinner!" "I'm so sick of this crap!" "I'm gonna puke!" "Don't be fussy." "This is all we ghosts can eat." "So shut up and take a bite!" "It's so boring being a ghost." "We can't reincarnate." "We have to eat the same things and do the same things day after day." "It's all so meaningless." "Quit complaining!" "I can't understand you!" "Speak in Mandarin!" "Can you quit complaining?" "Instead of wasting your time provoking fights, why don't you do something positive for a change?" "Like what?" "Protecting the environment?" "Or saving the human race?" "You guys enjoy your breakfast." "I'm done eating." "I'm gonna" "Gonna clean your son's house again?" "Madam Wong..." "It's been so many years since you died." "Can't you be a smarter ghost?" "I can't help it!" "I'm his mother!" "This is not right, man." "I'm not doing this anymore." "I can't!" "Don't like oranges and pork belly?" "No problem at all." "How about this?" "No!" "Kebabs that have not been offered on an altar!" "Kebabs!" "Sizzling, hot kebabs!" "Mmm!" "Pork, chicken, mutton and beef!" "Two dollars a stick!" "Now, that's a steal!" "Come on and try some!" "Take a bite!" "Come on, try some." "Eat it while it's hot." "Since you don't want it, I'll take it away!" "Gotcha!" "Do ghosts shit?" "Ladies and gentlemen, wanna see something scary?" "Wanna see something really scary?" "Wanna see something really, really scary?" "Wanna see ghost shit?" "That's right!" "Ghost shit!" "Let's go!" "Hey!" "What the hell are you doing?" "I just want to shit in peace!" "Are you ready?" "One!" "Two!" "Three!" "Go!" "Actually, ghost shit is invisible." "You wanna see ghost shit?" "I'll show you ghost shit!" "Fighting back?" "I'll show you who's your daddy!" "Where are your manners?" "Gimme oranges!" "That voice!" "It's gotta be..." "Ah Leng!" "Hey!" "Let me out!" "Who are you people?" "Let me out!" "I'm not rich, okay!" "Hey!" "Let me out!" "Diarrhea..." "Ah Leng..." "We've known you for so long and we've told you lots of times you cannot kidnap humans and bring them here." "We are ghosts." "We shouldn't do such things." "Do you understand?" "It's no use talking to him!" "Look at him!" "He is nuts!" "Hey, Ah Boon!" "Does that mean we've got to wear those masks again?" "No cool, man." "Not cool!" "I just did my hair this morning!" "Diarrhea..." "Who are you people?" "Why did you kidnap me?" "I'm just a DJ." "I don't make much money." "We are Dogs In The July Moonlight, a gang of professional kidnappers." "Our comrade kidnapped the wrong person." "For that, we offer you a thousand apologies." "We are regretful and promise that such incidents will not happen again." "He stared at me!" "That jerk stared at me!" "Ah Leng, listen to me." "There are some humans who can see ghosts." "So, when they stare at you, they are merely curious, not spoiling for a fight." "The next time someone stares at you, please don't kidnap him, okay?" "Are you staring at me?" "You're dead meat!" "Hopeless!" "This bus goes to Chinatown, right?" "Just like the lone ranger, riding off into the sunset." "Just like a solitary shooting star, blazing across the night sky." "Just like a single autumn leaf, floating in a summer breeze." "Single leaf!" "This ghost eats alone." "Pees alone and shits alone." "He even plays badminton alone!" "Such antisocial behavior cannot be tolerated!" "You are nuts!" "Can ghosts fall in love?" "Are you ready?" "I'm ready!" "Give me your best shot!" "You sure you are ready?" "I'm going to serve." "Serve if you have the guts!" "Alright!" "I'm really going to serve!" "Hey!" "You are nuts!" "Attacked by a bee this time of the night?" "I'm so jinxed!" "Are you going to scare that guy?" "If you are, you're in luck." "Because I happen to be the scariest ghost in town!" "Think you are so darn cool..." "Damn it!" "I sprained my foot." "I'm so jinxed!" "Are you using this to whack him?" "Are you going to kill him?" "Who is he?" "What did he do to you?" "Choose this one." "It's bigger." "Bloodletting time!" "Blackjack!" "This is all I have left!" "If I lose this, I'm gonna kill myself!" "I know!" "You don't want him to lose, right?" "Because if he loses, he'll kill himself and then a dogooder ghost like you, will have to save him tomorrow." "If I were you," "I'd rather kill him right now and end this once and for all." "Stay out of this." "C'mon!" "Deal the damn cards!" "Let this hand decide my fate!" "Tell you what, let me teach you a trick or two." "This is weird." "Why is there a crow this time of the night?" "Don't crows roost at night?" "You know, I was stung by a bee just now." "Attacked by a bee at night!" "Don't bees sleep at night?" "The world is getting weirder and weirder." "Show hand!" "Player wins." "I've won!" "Help this jerk, right?" "That's what you want, right?" "Piece of cake!" "I've won!" "Looks like luck is on my side." "All in!" "This hand shall decide my fate." "If you lose..." "You'll have to sell your grandmother to a brothel!" "That didn't sound like a crow." "Sounded more like a parrot." "Tell you something." "Parrots appearing at night is a sign of good luck!" "Now that my lucky parrot is here, do you think I need more cards?" "Get ready to buy your grandmother a gstring!" "Show hand!" "Player wins." "Blackjack!" "I've already warned you!" "If your grandmother is good in bed," "I'll take this money, go to the brothel and keep her real busy for one month!" "The God of the Frying Pan is protecting me!" "Let me warn you." "Do you see this?" "Not only do I have a lucky parrot," "I have the Frying Pan God on my side too!" "All in!" "The frying pan too!" "A cat spirit!" "Even the cat spirit is on my side!" "Show hand!" "Draw." "Draw?" "Damn it!" "This can't be!" "All in!" "Deal again!" "The dog spirit is here too?" "Draw." "Not again!" "I don't care!" "All in!" "If you lose this round, you're selling your grandfather to the brothel too!" "Damn!" "It's chilly here." "I'm tired." "When are we going home?" "We'll stop when he stops gambling." "What if he plays till morning?" "Then we'll stay here till morning." "What if he plays till the Mooncake Festival?" "Then we'll stay here till the Mooncake Festival." "You're nuts!" "What the hell do you think you are doing?" "I think I'm a little dizzy." "My vision is blurry." "I'm getting a slight headache." "Damn it!" "My shoulders are killing me!" "It's as if something's sitting on me!" "I'm not playing anymore!" "I'm going home!" "A Tragic Ghost Romance" "Like humans, dating ghosts love going to the movies." "I like you." "You're nuts!" "Since there's no reincarnation and ghosts don't age, the dating process for ghosts can take quite a long time." "I like you." "Can I hold your hand?" "You're nuts!" "We've only known each other for a short while!" "After watching movies for centuries, ghost dates always become deathly boring." "And so, on to something fresh." "Do you love me?" "We've been dating for more than a thousand years." "What do you think?" "I still think we don't know each other very well." "So, that means we are not going to have sex?" "Of course they are going to have sex!" "No one not even ghosts can resist the temptations of the flesh!" "So, what happens when two ghosts actually have sex?" "Children in the audience, if you don't understand the following, please don't ask your parents." "Get away!" "Help!" "Someone save me." "Victory!" "Victory?" "This is likelier to be a tragedy!" "If you think human children are bad, check out ghost children." "I hope our next one is a girl." "Victory!" "I think two is enough." "Stopping at two?" "Who are you kidding?" "Since there's no reincarnation and ghosts don't age, plus there's nothing else to do all day, ghosts will always get bored." "We really should have stopped at two." "Here's breakfast." "Enjoy your meal." "I'm going to visit my son." "Oh no!" "Not oranges and pork belly again!" "Hey, dude." "It's your birthday." "Cake that has not been offered on an altar!" "Go away!" "I'm not falling for that shit again!" "Gimme oranges!" "Don't kill me!" "Don't kill me!" "I'm not an illegal immigrant!" "I'm a professional IT consultant!" "Diarrhea..." "I'm a professional IT consultant!" "We are Dogs In The July Moonlight, a gang of professional kidnappers." "Our comrade kidnapped the wrong person." "For that, we offer you a thousand apologies." "Cake?" "I don't want cake for my last meal!" "I want curry or chapatti before I die!" "A piece of roti or naan will do as well!" "Don't walk so fast!" "Don't walk so fast!" "Don't walk so slowly!" "I'm scared!" "What if it's a bomb!" "If it's a bomb, we'll just die." "Stop kidding about this kind of stuff!" "Open it!" "It feels soft!" "It's surely not a bomb if it's soft." "Open it!" "Why don't you open it!" "You open!" "You open it since you are so gungho!" "You open it!" "You open it!" "Scissors, paper, stone." "Who's afraid of you?" "Scissors, paper, stone!" "You lose!" "Open it!" "You're so irritating!" "Slowly..." "Be careful..." "Keep your hands steady..." "It might be a bomb..." "It's not worth it to die on duty..." "Tonight must go..." "Don't kill me!" "Please don't kill me!" "He stared at me!" "That jerk stared at me!" "Okay, okay." "Who kicked the ball at me?" "Help!" "Let me out!" "Help!" "Other kids need only one hour of tuition." "Whereas you need four hours!" "I can't afford to pay Mr Lim so much tuition fees." "Walk faster!" "What is the square root of 75,603,025?" "8695 8695" "Who said that?" "What is the capital of Armenia?" "Yerevan." "Who said that again?" "Did you hear that?" "Is this place haunted?" "Of course it is!" "Ghost!" "Do ghosts suffer from bad breath?" "Good morning." "Morning." "I heard you visited your son's house yesterday." "How's your family?" "How are your son and daughterinlaw?" "How's your grandson?" "How about the new maid?" "Actually, everything sucks!" "My son and daughterinlaw quarrel every day!" "My grandson is very naughty!" "And that new maid!" "That new maid is always bullying me!" "She forces me to clean the entire house and then she takes the credit!" "My son and daughterinlaw like her very much and they praise her every day!" "Nine years have passed!" "My son never once mentioned me." "He never misses me and not once has he burnt incense for me." "Sometimes, when I think about it," "I feel like dying from an unspeakable pain in my heart!" "My life is so bitter!" "So bitter!" "The toothpaste is very bitter?" "Gimme oranges!" "Who are you?" "I'm dying inside here!" "Help!" "Let me out!" "We are Dogs In The July Moonlight, a gang of professional kidnappers." "Our comrade kidnapped the wrong person." "For that, we offer you a thousand apologies." "We are regretful and promise that such incidents will not happen again." "You stared at me!" "Okay, okay." "Let's go home." "Let's go home!" "You're still staring at me?" "Let's go..." "C'mon..." "Remember!" "No more kidnapping humans." "If they find out that we're ghosts, we'll be in serious trouble." "Do you understand?" "He is still staring at me!" "I'm a ghost too." "What's your name?" "David." "You don't look like a David to me." "He looks more like a Gilbert to me." "Are you sure you are a David not a Gilbert?" "I'm David." "You're lying." "I'm sure you're a Gilbert." "You're Albert?" "Have you eaten?" "What's your occupation?" "I am a photographer." "What's a photographer doing in a cemetery?" "I'm not a professional photographer." "I'm just a hobbyist." "I was taking landscape pictures at the cemetery." "Liar!" "All the photographers I know are called Gilbert." "So, how did you die, Gilbert?" "I tripped in the cemetery, knocked my head against a tombstone and died." "You're still lying!" "All those that I know who tripped in the cemetery and died are called Gilbert." "You're really called Albert?" "I'm David." "Why did you follow us back here?" "I have nowhere else to go." "Oh!" "Poor thing!" "Let's stop interrogating him!" "Have you eaten, Albert?" "This flat is so cramped already." "Look at him." "He's so skinny." "He looks like he hasn't eaten for days." "Hey, man." "He ain't gonna sleep with me!" "I'm not kidding you." "All the Gilberts I know are untrustworthy." "Eat..." "Eat..." "Go ahead!" "Eat!" "Ask him to stay somewhere else!" "Where can he go?" "I know." "We'll send him back to the graveyard!" "Who brought him back?" "Ah Leng, right?" "So, let's ask Ah Leng to take him away." "I don't want to see him here anymore!" "David, after a long and difficult debate, we've decided to let you stay." "I am Ah Boon." "I am princess Wan Yi." "Albert, I'm Madam Wong." "Hey, what's going on, man?" "What are you looking at?" "You think you're very clever?" "Calling yourself Gilbert." "Don't try anything funny!" "This here is Sunny." "He used to be a wedding videographer." "He likes to film everything." "I'm very happy to meet all of you." "I'm David." "Albert, we're now one big family." "C'mon, have some..." "You mean ghosts eat only this?" "That's right." "What's the matter?" "Doesn't suit your palate?" "No problem." "Hip!" "Steamboat a classic Chinese dish." "Made from the freshest ingredients and delights from the sea." "Packed with goodness and a tantalizing soup base, no preservatives and low in sodium, steamboat tastes best at home and abroad." "I've already tried it today." "How about you?" "Gilbert!" "Today is your first day as a ghost." "So, as your seniors, it is our duty to teach you some basic facts." "Ghosts can walk through walls." "Gilbert." "You see this wall?" "I want you to walk through it." "C'mon, Gilbert..." "David..." "Albert... or whatever your name is..." "Don't be scared of that wall!" "It's not as hard as it looks!" "Are you ready, Gilbert?" "Ready?" "On your mark." "Get set." "Go!" "I can't go through the wall." "Of course you can't!" "You didn't run fast enough!" "Gilbert!" "Are you ready?" "Okay!" "On your mark." "Get set." "Go!" "Damn it!" "You actually had the gall to scare us?" "You're asking for it!" "Who asked you to be a Gilbert?" "Why did you have to be a Gilbert?" "Gilbert!" "Pretty exciting, huh?" "If you like peeping, you better enjoy it now." "We've been peeping at people making out for six years." "It's very boring to us by now." "What?" "You said it was boring, right?" "Isn't this more fun?" "Being a ghost is really tough!" "My life is so bitter!" "Please!" "Please don't rape me!" "When are you fixing the car?" "Did you notice that our neighbor was staring at it?" "She saw the state of the bumper and probably thought we're too poor to afford repairs." "Hello!" "Who was the one who destroyed my bumper?" "Maria!" "How many times must I tell you not to make the floor so wet?" "Must twist the mop in the bucket first!" "What if I slip and fall?" "Sorry, M'am." "You stupid ghost!" "How many times must I tell you not to make the floor so wet?" "Must twist the mop in the bucket first!" "What if I slip and fall?" "Maria!" "Why didn't you clean the windows?" "You stupid ghost!" "Why didn't you clean the windows?" "I'll deal with you later." "You really don't like her, huh?" "What?" "Maria!" "Maria!" "Where are you?" "Lucky me!" "Good thing I'm a coconuttree climbing champion." "Falling 18 storeys is a piece of cake for me!" "I asked you to clean the windows." "What are you doing down there?" "Ouch!" "I'm hurt!" "Since you're downstairs, go to the supermarket and buy one bottle of soy sauce!" "Yes, M'am!" "Do you know which kind of people I hate most?" "Cabstealers." "You really hate people like him, huh?" "Check it out!" "An accident!" "Wow!" "An accident!" "Woo hoo!" "Now I can get four numbers for the lottery!" "My carplate number is going to strike the jackpot!" "First prize!" "Thanks to you, brother!" "Happy now?" "Mummy, look!" "I'm flying!" "Ah Boy!" "Stop jumping up and down!" "You just ate!" "You'll get a tummy ache!" "These bean sprouts are very fresh, right?" "They're not bad." "Where did you get them?" "Not bad?" "I bought them at Tekka Market!" "Sunny, should I help?" "Sure." "Why not?" "Mummy, look!" "I'm flying!" "That's great." "Just don't fly too high or an aeroplane will hit you." "Give me a scarier pose!" "Want me to take off my head!" "Wow, that'd be great!" "Just pulling your leg!" "Ah Boon, I got really lucky today!" "Guess what I found on the streets!" "Wine!" "Not your usual cold tea." "It's real wine!" "Drink with us!" "C'mon, drink with us!" "He's too proud to drink with lowly ghosts like us." "C'mon, cheers!" "Do ghosts get jealous?" "After you refuse to eat or drink with us, you sneak off to play badminton here on your own." "Excuse me for being blunt but you are too arrogant." "Pissed off just because there's a new guy in the gang?" "Are you jealous?" "Stop talking crap!" "Are you gonna play or what?" "Someone finally deigns to talk to me!" "He even wants to play badminton with me!" "Are you ready?" "I am really good at this!" "Watch my shot!" "That doesn't count!" "I wasn't ready!" "Again!" "What are you doing?" "Go home if it hurts." "I'm not afraid of you!" "Goodness me!" "Who was the previous occupant?" "This place is so messy!" "It looks like a pig sty!" "No problem at all!" "These mattresses can be thrown away." "Just imagine what this place will look like after some renovation." "It'll look just like new." "Renovation?" "It will cost a fortune to do up this terrible place!" "I'm on a very tight budget." "No problem at all!" "Let it not be said that I didn't take care of you." "I know the houseowner very well." "I'll tell him to give you a discount." "Come!" "I'll show you the kitchen." "A discount?" "Are you sure?" "Don't worry." "They're just here to look at the apartment." "Although this kitchen looks a bit old, it has tremendous potential." "Look at the width and length." "You can put a refrigerator over here and a washing machine over there." "Goodness me!" "Look at all these oranges!" "They are all moldy!" "And what is this?" "Goodness me!" "Pork!" "Get rid of it!" "No problem at all!" "If you don't like anything, just throw it away." "That smell makes me wanna puke!" "How can I possibly buy this apartment?" "Sure you can!" "Just renovate this place to your satisfaction." "Mr Foo, what's your favourite color?" "My favourite colour?" "Pink." "Pink?" "Why did you ask?" "Oh!" "Pink!" "Why didn't you say so earlier?" "Look, we can paint this kitchen pink." "We can paint the living room pink." "All the bedrooms can also be painted pink." "Imagine this whole place in pink." "It'll look like paradise!" "Wouldn't that be wondertul?" "Mr Foo, to tell you the truth, you'd better put a deposit on this place if you're interested because there are a lot of propective buyers." "If they move faster than you," "I won't be able to help you even if I wanted to." "Pack!" "What?" "We have to move again?" "This is bullshit!" "You're kidding me!" "We found this place first!" "This is bloody unreasonable!" "Someone is gonna get it from me!" "There's no need to move!" "No need to move?" "Didn't you see those two characters just now?" "One is a realestate agent and the other is the new owner." "This flat is as good as sold!" "People will be moving in soon." "That's right!" "Those freaks are gonna come back!" "How infuriating!" "Everyone knows I love orange and I hate pink!" "Where were you just now?" "I was in the loo." "Diarrhea..." "You are all ghosts." "Why are you scared of humans?" "Humans are easily frightened." "This is our home." "If humans want to move in, we should scare them away." "Do you know what you're saying?" "Scaring people is not as easy as you think!" "Madam Wong, pack!" "I agree with Albert." "I'm very fond of this apartment." "I don't want to move." "I'm going to stay." "Yes, Gilbert's right!" "We don't have to move out of here." "This place is our home." "Check out his glasses." "He seems like a smart guy." "He definitely has a plan for us." "I'm not supporting Gilbert." "But I support you." "I support you." "I support..." "You." "I support you and you." "And you." "I'm not moving either." "Stop trying to persuade him." "Let him flee if he wants to." "That's what cowards are born to do." "What did you call me?" "A coward!" "You are a lilylivered coward!" "You've got to be kidding me!" "It's so damn hot in here." "I can't breathe!" "This outfit is very stuffy and scratchy!" "This costume is too revealing!" "This is your new image!" "You may not be used to it right now but you will soon appreciate its usefulness!" "Most people cannot see ghosts!" "Why is that so?" "It's because most ghosts don't look like ghosts!" "My theory is that once you start looking like ghosts, people will be able to see you!" "I don't mean to be nitpicky but a mummy is technically not a ghost." "It's more like a monster." "But, actually, what is the difference between a monster and a ghost?" "This is ridiculous." "I feel like a burn victim." "Who on earth will be scared of us?" "Ghosts aren't so furry!" "When a human fails, he can start anew!" "When a ghost fails, he can start anew too!" "Today marks a new day in your careers as ghosts!" "From now on, you will no longer have to run or hide!" "You will scare humans and make them pee in their pants!" "Let's hear some applause for own brandnew ghosts!" "Damn!" "This apartment is an eyesore!" "We'll have to get rid of this wall." "This cabinet has to go too." "And this pendant light it looks like someone once hung himself from it!" "We'll have to renovate the entire place." "This is a huge project." "I'm going to be rich!" "This is not a huge project!" "I'm on a very tight budget!" "I just want all this junk cleared and the whole house painted pink because pink is my favourite color." "In addition, I want some flowers here and a painting over there." "Are you the man I am looking for?" "Not a problem." "Tell you what," "I'll overhaul this entire wall, change all the lights from two tubes to four tubes, shift the ceiling fan to the back, and this pendant light..." "This..." "Hey!" "Listen carefully!" "I'll put a hundredwatt recess lighting here, just like in a fivestar hotel." "You like it?" "A fivestar hotel?" "I love it!" "Wait a minute!" "You better not exceed my budget!" "I don't have much money!" "Don't you worry, Mr Foo." "I've been a contractor for more than ten years." "Never once have I ever exceeded my client's budget." "Don't you worry about me!" "Kill me!" "What manly behaviour!" "Such confidence!" "I like it..." "Let's take a look at the bedroom, shall we?" "C'mon!" "Let's check out the bedroom!" "Did you see that?" "Mr Foo, the weather's really hot these days." "Sometimes the heat can cause one to hallucinate." "That's true." "The weather's really hot these days." "C'mon!" "Let's check out the bedroom!" "Did you see that?" "Mr Foo, there were too many shadows inside there." "It's easy to mistake shadows for ghosts." "That's true." "Just like you suggested, we must install those hundredwatt bulbs." "C'mon!" "Let's check out the bedroom!" "Nice size!" "Not too big, not too small." "Mr Foo, are you married?" "I'm not married." "In that case..." "I'll put a super single bed for you here." "I'm not single either." "I'll replace it with a kingsize water bed then." "I can even build a platform and raise the bed real high like a stage." "Like a stage in a cabaret?" "I love it!" "Hey, Ah Huat, can you install some special lighting in here?" "It must shine on the whole bed." "Understand?" "I understand completely..." "Here's what I'll do!" "I'll put a discoball in the middle of the ceiling and throw in a huge ceiling mirror free of charge." "Then, you can look at yourself even when you are lying down." "I like it!" "I like it!" "I'm too excited," "I need to go to the loo." "Okay..." "Wait for me..." "Okay..." "Nuts!" "Bloody pansy!" "Thank you." "What a horrendous painting." "I must get rid of it!" "This is even uglier." "Get rid of it too!" "What happened?" "Ghosts!" "Ghosts!" "Scared the shit out of me!" "Ghosts?" "This time of the day?" "Believe me!" "In the loo!" "Mr Foo, don't be scared." "I've been a contractor for more than ten years." "Not once have I seen a ghost." "You wait right here for me," "I'll go and check it out." "You go and check!" "Go and check!" "Mr Foo, there are no ghosts here!" "The loo!" "Inside the loo!" "Mr Foo, there are no ghosts here!" "Just somebody's dog!" "Believe me!" "I saw ghosts in the loo just now!" "Go and check again!" "I'll go and check it again." "Bloody pansy!" "Mr Foo, it's not a ghost!" "Just a big pile of used toilet paper!" "Believe me!" "I really saw ghosts in the loo just now!" "Go and check again!" "I'll go and check the loo one last time." "Damn it!" "Asking a contractor to look for ghosts." "What a load of crap!" "Ghosts!" "Ghosts!" "Ghosts!" "Ghosts!" "Bottoms up!" "Did you see that contractor's face?" "He went completely pale!" "That guy was so scared, he ran like a little bitch!" "He was shitting his pants!" "Did you see that punch I threw at him?" "He almost flew out of the apartment!" "We really must thank Albert!" "He was the one who inspired us to scare the humans away!" "C'mon, another toast!" "Bottoms up!" "I'm hungry." "Let's have some oranges." "We've got lots of oranges." "I wonder how Ah Boon is doing..." "I wonder if he has anything to eat..." "Are you okay?" "Everybody's drinking and having a good time." "Why are you sitting out here alone?" "I came out to get some air." "You really have a gift for scaring." "Of course!" "However, most people think that I'm too loud, too inelegant." "That's not true." "I think you're a kind, gentle and pretty girl." "Are you crazy?" "Do you think we are acting in some Taiwanese melodrama?" "How dare you say something so corny!" "Let's take a picture together." "You have taken so many pictures already." "They are mementos." "C'mon." "One... two... three..." "David?" "David!" "Old master, we need your help." "Are you sure this kid is a ghost expert?" "I've been dead for more than a hundred years!" "What do you want?" "One of our friends disappeared." "Ah!" "Ghosts who vanish it's a rare phenomenon." "According to legend, most ghosts hang around forever." "But there are some who vanish all of a sudden." "Why do they vanish?" "And where do they go?" "Is it reincarnation?" "I'm afraid nobody knows." "That kid is a quack, man!" "There are too many unanswered questions." "He's definitely lying!" "That kid's been a ghost for more than a hundred years." "What about you?" "So, maybe David got reincarnated." "No way!" "Reincarnation is bullshit!" "Even if reincarnation really existed, there's no way I'm reincarnating in Singapore." "I want to go back to Hong Kong!" "What do we do now?" "What are we going to do?" "Go in!" "Hurry!" "Quit pushing me!" "Quick, drive the ghosts away!" "Relax!" "One must be calm when confronted with ghosts!" "You cannot show your fear!" "Hey, Ah Huat!" "One minute you're a contractor, the next minute you're an exorcist!" "Are you sure you're up to it?" "Times are hard." "I've got no choice." "I lost a fortune gambling." "Now I need to moonlight and earn more money." "Are there really such things as exorcists?" "How am I supposed to know?" "We should have asked that kid last night!" "It's too late now!" "There're only two of them but four of us." "Who's afraid of them!" "That's right!" "Who's afraid of them!" "Okay, Ah Huat, I'm leaving." "You take your time with these ghosts, okay?" "After you've chased them away, remember to clear all the rubbish away." "Paint the whole house pink, install a kingsize water bed in the bedroom and don't forget that gigantic disco ball!" "Got it?" "Bye..." "Oh!" "One last thing..." "Be careful of those ghosts!" "Wait a minute!" "What is he doing?" "Hang on!" "My outfit is not complete yet!" "Don't be scared!" "The forces of good enter!" "The forces of evil exit!" "Evil shall flee at the command of my sword!" "Be gone!" "Shall I give him a taste of my Hipkwondo?" "Showtime!" "I invoke the Spirit of the Golden Monkey!" "Be gone!" "Golden monkey, man!" "Golden monkey!" "Hip!" "I shall avenge you!" "I invoke the Spirit of the Drunken Tiger!" "Be gone!" "Be gone!" "Don't worry." "I'm fine." "What is he up to now?" "Wait a minute!" "He's a fake!" "A fake?" "I invoke the Spirit of the Frying Pan!" "Be gone!" "Since he's not a real exorcist, what are we waiting for?" "Comrades!" "Charge!" "Eat..." "Eat..." "Eat till you explode!" "Oh yes... the sword." "Oh yes... the drums." "Ghosts!" "Ghosts!" "Move aside!" "Be gone!" "Be gone!" "Fat ghosts, skinny ghosts, hungry ghosts, lecherous ghosts..." "Get out of my sight!" "Ah Leng is here!" "There is hope!" "You better cover your ears." "Ah Leng is going to sing." "You think you're loud?" "I'm even louder than you!" "You're good." "You've won." "I'm leaving." "Ah Leng!" "What's the big deal?" "We'll just look for someplace else to stay!" "But it's so late." "Where can we go?" "Who will take us in?" "Just follow me!" "Scissors, paper, stone!" "Draw!" "Scissors, paper, stone!" "Draw!" "Scissors, paper, stone!" "Draw again!" "It's no fun playing in these stupid costumes." "This is ridiculous." "Wow!" "Isn't this place nice and cosy?" "There's a mosquito." "No more mosquito." "It's now nice and cosy, right?" "What's that?" "I've been a good boy!" "Please don't strike me!" "I'm bored." "What are we doing today?" "I'm freaking hungry." "Where are those oranges?" "We finished all the oranges last night." "Does that mean we're going to starve to death?" "Who's going to find our bodies out here in the middle of nowhere?" "We are ghosts." "We have no bodies." "I knew that!" "Then why did you say what you said?" "I don't want to die!" "What should we do?" "I've already died once!" "I don't want to die a second time!" "Shut up!" "Today, we have a very packed schedule to follow." "Since we are camping in the great outdoors, we can go canoeing later, and let's not forget hiking, after which we will all enjoy a scrumptious lunch!" "There're no more oranges!" "After our scrumptious lunch, we can build sandcastles." "Doesn't that sound wondertully carefree?" "Orange!" "An orange!" "It's really an orange!" "Am I dreaming?" "I don't care!" "It looks real to me!" "Have you all had breakfast?" "Haven't seen you in a while." "You're still so rude." "You are the one who is rude!" "Throwing things at me the minute you see me!" "Showing up uninvited." "Shameless!" "That night at the badminton hall..." "Which night?" "My memory fails me." "Do you know why I kept hitting you with the shuttlecock that night?" "A shuttlecock is capable of two things." "Firstly, it can fly into the sky, bearing the hopes and dreams of a player." "Like a shooting star." "Secondly, it can also be used as a weapon to hurt someone." "Ghosts are no different from shuttlecocks." "We can either scare people or help people." "So, for the last few weeks, you've been roaming the world, seeking the true meaning of life." "And now, you've traveled all the way here just to tell me this load of crap?" "Loser!" "Scoundrel!" "You are a human all along!" "C'mon!" "You are supposed to be a ghost." "Can you look scarier in front of my camera?" "Why did you deceive us?" "You can't figure that out?" "Surely you are not that dumb." "I'm a paranormal investigator." "All my life," "I've been trying to prove the existence of ghosts." "Unfortunately, I couldn't find any proof." "Then, I met you and your ghostly friends." "Now, with these photos," "I can finally prove that ghosts really exist." "You want me to help you?" "You can go to hell!" "You have no choice!" "C'mon!" "Raise your arms and look scary!" "I'm giving you one last chance." "You'd better cooperate before I get nasty." "Raise your arms and look scary!" "Let her go!" "Catch that ghost!" "Ah Boon!" "Be careful!" "Wow!" "Come with me!" "I'm not going anywhere with you!" "How should we deal with him?" "Let's kill him!" "Don't tell me you want to help him?" "You like taking pictures, right?" "Close your eyes, Wan Yi." "Is it going to be that bloody?" "Just close your eyes!" "Take it off!" "What?" "Take your clothes off!" "Okay..." "Stop taking pictures!" "Stop taking pictures!" "Please!" "Stop!" "Please!" "Listen to me carefully." "If you ever mention us to anyone or if you ever bother us again," "I'll publish these pictures in the newspapers!" "Scram!" "I thought you said ghosts shouldn't scare people?" "So why did you threaten David with nude photos?" "Isn't that scaring people?" "He's an exception." "You were quite dashing back there." "I was okay." "Hey!" "Stop right there!" "You hit me so hard that night at the badminton court." "I demand revenge!" "Give me a shuttlecock." "You've gotta be kidding!" "How can you be so petty?" "It's all in the past!" "Close your eyes." "I'm going to hit you now!" "I'm really going to let you have it!" "Are you ready?" "Vampires, werewolves, mummies and devils all these are western concepts." "We live in Asia in Singapore." "Hence, we must strive to be Asian ghosts." "We must strive to be Singaporean ghosts!" "Kill me!" "Should I hang this painting here?" "Or should I hang it over here?" "No, it looks better here." "Wait, it looks much better here." "I like it." "What is it?" "Ghost!" "Scared the shit out of me!" "Ghost!" "It's so nice to be back home!" "Ghost!" "Who are you calling a ghost?" "Hey gorgeous, shall we dance?" "Because, today, we must celebrate!" "Bring out the wine!" "Bring out the oranges!" "I'll go help out in the kitchen." "Wait a minute!" "I have a present for you." "Let's get smashed today!" "Wan Yi, everyone's waiting for you!" "Hey, Wan Yi..." "Come see Madam Wong do the hip hop dance!" "Where's Wan Yi, dude?" "Wan Yi is gone." "Gone?" "Is there really such a thing as reincarnation?" "At the exact time of Wan Yi's disappearance, a baby girl was born." "Wan Yi, you may not recognize us now." "But watch this tape after you've grown up, and you'll realize that" "you used to have a few really good friends." "Take it easy, baby." "Don't forget us." "Don't be so badtempered when you grow up." "Farewell." "Steamboat a classic Chinese dish." "Made from the freshest ingredients and delights from the sea." "Packed full of ingredients and a tantalizing soup base..." "We are Dogs In The July Moonlight, a gang of professional kidnappers." "Are you crazy?" "How dare you say something so corny!" "Why is the footage like that?" "Why can't we see any of us?" "Sunny, where the hell are you?" "Ah Cheng is in China again." "He is there for a business meeting, right?" "His business must be flourishing." "Mummy!" "I've hit an aeroplane!" "Scared the shit out of me!" "Ghost!" "Ghost!" "Hi, I'm Sunny." "I am an undercover agent." "I am a paranormal investigator." "For years, I've been tolerating these ghosts." "Following them every day, living alongside them, eating their moldy oranges, in order to capture their dumb faces on video." "With this footage, I'm finally able to prove the existence of ghosts!" "Hi there, Ah Leng." "This is..." "I'm just horsing around." "C'mon, Ah Leng, don't be like this." "Ah Leng..." "Ah Leng, let go." "Diarrhea..."