"Help!" "Somebody help me!" "Somebody help me!" "Help me!" "Help me!" "Help me, please, you have to help me!" "Please!" "Hey, what's that place with great turkey panini?" "Mancolo's." "No, no the" "Oh, um, Castellani's." "Mm." "Order lunch from there for the department budget meeting." "Love that panini." "♪ The Librarians 01x03 ♪ And the Horns of a Dilemma Original Air Date on December 14, 2014" "== sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man" "Go, go." "Oomph." "It took me two minutes to disable all three of you." "Stone, you've got an IQ of 190." "You should know you can't solve everything with brute force alone." "It's worked so far." "Fight smarter, not harder." "Still, at least you can fight." "Ezekiel bailed on his team." "These are the hands of a world-class thief." "I don't do punchy." "And Cassandra hid." "Badly." "I'm here to do science and math." "And occasionally hallucinate." "You're just not being fair." "You think I'm not fair, wait until you meet the bad guys, which is why we'll run drills again tomorrow and every day until I'm sure I can take you out into the field with even a chance of you coming back in one piece." "How substandard were they?" "Good pep talk, Jenkins." "While you were out, a new page appeared in the clipping book." "Looks fascinating." "No." "Not yet." "Well, this is crazy." "Every day a new page shows up of weird newspaper clippings in this book." "And every day you tell us to ignore it." "We've hardly opened it since the day Flynn left." "Because you're not ready." "Flynn told us we were supposed to help people." "Ezekiel's right." "Flynn gave us a job." "We're supposed to be checking out the weird-- not sit around here." "Ezekiel's right." "I said that." "Jenkins, stay out" "Marvelous, isn't it?" "I told you, this is where I do my research." "Judson always insisted we just lock the artifacts away but I experiment on them, study them." "Improve them." "It's hard enough to rein them in without you dangling that clippings book in front of them." "Why rein them?" "You'll have to put them in the field sooner or later." "I've gone into the field with experienced soldiers with a good plan, good Intel and still come home with nothing but dog tags." "I'm talking soldiers with training who've seen combat." "These three?" "I promised Flynn I'd keep them alive." "They're not even close to ready." "We're doing this, right?" "Hell yeah, we are." "Let's go." "I appreciate you wanting to keep them out of harm's way." "But librarians exist to keep magic out of the wrong hands." "Their job is to be in harm's way." "I can't protect three of them at once and they can't take care of themselves." "Not without a lot more training." "We used to put librarians in the field with no training at all." "Oh, yeah?" "And how many came back?" "The best ones." "I said" "Henry Birch." "Twenty-one." "He was on a full-scholarship in chemical engineering at Boston University." "He went missing two days ago." "Seven other clippings, all missing people, disappeared this year." "That many, the police are on it." "Nope." "Victims are from all around the country." "The only reason to suspect they're connected is that they all showed up in our magic book." "That's eight people gone." "Maybe dead." "We don't have any-- you know?" "How many more are gonna go missing before we step in?" "What if he's still alive?" "What if we have a chance to save Henry Birch and we don't?" "And you're willing to risk your lives for him?" "I won't risk my life." "But I assume I can outrun anything, so I'm in." "Fine, but we're going in with a plan." "I want full breakdowns on the missing, backgrounds on their workplaces, magical and supernatural possibilities." "Oh, God, what have I done?" "Even though the victims were from all over, they all disappeared in Boston." "Any connection beyond the city?" "Yes." "Golden Axe Foods." "They all worked and this was tricky, some of them under subsidiaries, some under shell companies," "Henry Birch was for a scholarship, but..." "In conclusion, they were all interns at Golden Axe Foods." "I'm familiar with the logo." "They were all over the farms in my home town." "They sell, like, engineered seeds and stuff, it's huge." "I've scoped the security." "Run of the mill guards, boring alarms, when do we break in?" "We don't break in, we go in, we ask questions, no picking fights" "What are you doing?" "Sending you to Boston." "I present to you the back door." "Yeah, that's the broom closet." "Ah, no!" "It is a door behind which presently exists the broom closet." "Mr. Stone, hook those up." "Put 'em here." "You see, magic works on similarities." "Uh, symbolic resonance." "Yes." "A voodoo doll is symbolic of a person." "And lead can be transformed into gold because it is already similar." "So, with a little magic and I might add a great deal of underappreciated work, that broom closet door can become a symbolic representation of any other door." "Oh!" "That first step might be just a little" "Yeah, thanks for the warning, Jenkins." "This is Boston." "You moved the annex to Boston?" "No, just the door." "Does no one listen?" "It's an Einstein-Rosen bridge." "It's a wormhole." "The back door is on the East Coast" "and the front door is still on the West Coast." "Wait, we can go anywhere we want in the world?" "Absolutely anywhere, that has a door." "Still working out the kinks." "You know, it doesn't stay open very long." "And it's not the most accurate thing." "And most frankly, getting to the right city is a win" "Any door?" "Like, say, a bank vault door?" "I'm asking for a mate." "We do this, you do what I say, when I say." "Clear?" "Good luck." "What?" "Nothing." "Go away." "I'm working." "Eight of our interns have gone missing." "Golden Axe Foods is one of the oldest companies in the world." "Over the decades, the centuries, no matter war, famine, plague, Golden Axe always prevails and we've done so through integrity." "So the idea of any wrongdoing is" "Well, I for one am shocked." "Franklin, did you know about this?" "I'm also shocked." "And your interest in this, miss?" "Colonel Baird, NATO counter-terrorism." "I am less shocked." "You think our interns were terrorists?" "You're a big agribusiness." "You have access to the food supply." "We prefer not to take any chances." "Miss Willis?" "The Tokyo office is on the line." "Not now, Jennie." "Well, as CEO of Golden Axe, I am, of course, deeply concerned about this chain of events." "But I don't know how much more I can tell you." "We throughput interns pretty quickly here." "Most don't have the skills to compete." "You can imagine what it's like to deal with utter amateurs." "You know, why don't you speak to human resources?" "I'm sure they have the records of the people you're looking for." "Would you show them the way?" "Mr. Franklin, Tokyo really needs to confirm the shipping price." "Hai." "They know something." "How do you know they know something?" "Eight missing interns, they should've buried us in lawyers, not danced us straight in to meet Karen Willis, the CEO." "She wanted to size us up." "Find out what we know." "So they know now that we know something but do we now know they know something more than just knowing we know something?" "I betcha whatever they're about to show us in HR is gonna be faked up." "You know, just for show." "The originals might be on the main server, if I can find the server room." "We just passed it." "Back there." "Yeah, air seals for climate control." "Most security I've seen on this floor." "Good, you three go to HR." "If she wants to put on a show, you're the audience." "I'm gonna break into the server room." "Uh, Ezekiel Jones, world-class thief." "Why am I playing audience and you're a burglar?" "Because I want the three of you together, safe, in a place that is very boring." "What I say, when I say it." "Excuse me?" "Restroom?" "Down the hall." "Go ahead." "I'll catch up." "Please." "I'll wait for your friend." "Room zero-fourteen." "Go left, left, then right." "We should have warned Baird that guy was going back after her." "Hey, she's the one who sent us on a snipe hunt." "Let her sweat a little." "What did he say?" "Left, left and right?" "You are not servers." "Look at this." "Looks like Greek frescoes." "This is late Helladic, I think." "Now why would these be down here in the basement?" "More like, sub-basement." "Did we down a little and nobody noticed?" "Guys, can we just hurry up and find Human Resources?" "This lighting is giving me a headache." "Are you sure it's not your brain grape about to pop?" "Okay, new rule." "How about we not refer to the tumor that will one day kill me as a brain grape?" "Ah, here we go." "And I was worried we were getting lost." "We're not in Human Resources." "Go, go." "Baird!" "I'm texting you some pictures." "I found something real weird." "Wow, did you?" "We found something weird too!" "I found a room full of really old art." "That is weird." "We found a room full of human skulls!" "What do you mean human skulls?" "How many ways can I mean human skulls?" "Left, to left and right, guys." "This doesn't make any sense." "Wait a minute, this is not late Helladic." "This is Minoan." "There's barely any complete Minoan art known to exist." "Minoan." "Why do I know that name?" "Greek mythology." "Theseus and the Minotaur." "Big monster, head of a bull." "Inescapable Labyrinth." "Theseus had a big ball of thread, used it so he wouldn't get lost" "This place is kind of Labyrinth-y." "And I'm looking at a really old ball of thread." "Well, that's clearly stupid." "There is no way under a skyscraper we are in a Labyrinth." "Okay, maybe we are in a Labyrinth." "Let's go!" "Yes." "Jenkins, quick question." "Any chance someone could have recreated the Minotaur's Labyrinth in a skyscraper in Boston?" "Goodness, no." "don't be absurd." "Even assuming that you had enough power, you would need a, just a magnificent collection of ancient Minoan artifacts to focus it." "The librarians are in the Labyrinth." "I sent them there alone." "Why?" "To keep them safe." "That was a very bad idea." "Although I will say I'm impressed." "We've had guardians lose librarians in the past of course." "But never three in one day." "It'll be quite some time before anyone beats that." "So how do we get them out?" "We don't." "It's a Labyrinth." "The whole point is you can't get out." "Well, what about your magic back door?" "Can't you open that inside the Labyrinth?" "Colonel, I told you, I was lucky we found Boston." "I, I can't pinpoint them in a maze." "Okay, so what about that other thing you said, symbolic whose-ee-flopper, whatchamacallit, thingamajiggy?" "The Labyrinth isn't just a maze, it's a magic maze." "All right?" "It exists in more than three dimensions and you know what I seriously doubt?" "Putting an extra-dimensional hole in a multi-dimensional space is a very good idea!" "That was not a request." "Guys, wait." "Something isn't" "Hm, just give me a minute." "Wasn't it right, then right, then left?" "No, no, no, no, no." "This is not the time, kid." "Okay?" "We got to run because" "Do not say because the Minotaur is coming." "Because there is no Minotaur and I'll tell you why." "In your myth, what's-his-face?" "Theseus." "Yeah, right." "He killed the Minotaur." "So the Minotaur is dead, and if it's dead, he's not here." "Right?" "Right?" "This is wrong." "The hallway we were in before should cut through here, but it doesn't." "It's impossible." "Hey, guys, I think we should go this way." "This is great." "Stuck in a magic maze with two of the least reliable people I know." "Wait, least reliable?" "You have been on my case non-stop." "Why am I "unreliable"?" "Not now, all right?" "We got to move." "I know." "I betrayed you that first time, so" "Not now." "Hey." "I was scared." "I have a death sentence inside my head and they offered me a cure, so what was I supposed to do?" "Not sell us out." "So self-righteous." "Look at me and all I've sacrificed;" "I'm such a good boy." "Well, I take my responsibility seriously" "Shh." "You made your bed." "I didn't get a choice in mine." "So you don't get to judge me for a" "There's a pattern." "Pattern, pattern." "Pattern, pattern." "Circles inside squares inside triangles." "That's why I have the headache." "My brain knew that we were in a maze before we even really noticed it ourselves." "I can see it." "Kind of." "Can you kind of get us out of here?" "Oy!" "Whatever issues you two are having, save it." "I saw we follow the brain grape." "We are not calling it a brain grape." "Follow the brain grape." "This way." "Ha!" "Where next?" "Kind of more guessing than knowing, but I guess this way." "One short, one long, two short." "What?" "Morse code?" "That's an L. For librarians?" "It's Baird." "Let's go." "Anyone else worried the monster heard those gunshots, too?" "I'm hoping we find Baird first." "Human Resources." "So safe." "So boring." "Go!" "We have to hold out as long as we can!" "Well, I'll be damned." "I did not think that would work with a cabinet door." "Go, go!" "Symbolic representation of you in the Labyrinth." "That's a trick I won't be trying any time soon again." "Ha." "So." "First time out." "How'd it go?" "As far as we can tell, ma'am, she doesn't see to have disturbed anything." "Why was she in here?" "She can't know what we're doing unless-- no." "There's only one librarian and he was just spotted in--?" "Budapest, I think." "Expedite the timetable just in case." "Start tomorrow, with that blonde idiot at my desk." "Honestly, how hard is it to knock?" "And if these people come back?" "They won't." "Nobody escapes the Labyrinth." "It's the thread." "The thread." "What's all this other stuff?" "Magic has three parts." "Power, to change reality." "Focus to direct that change and an effect that change in the real world." "The effect would be the Labyrinth, right?" "Created by the focus of the Minoan artifacts." "Mr. Stone, you have a knack for this." "But the power that holds it all together, that's the original thread in the myth." "Millennia old." ""Millennia" means thousands of years" "Yes, thank you." "Once you take the thread out, it would be like taking the battery out of a car." "Yes." "Crude analogy but totally accurate." "We destroy the thread and the entire multi-dimensional hoo-ha collapses in on itself with a whoosh." "All we have to do is get past that Minotaur." "Everything I have on Minotaurs." "Nasty creatures." "Hold a grudge." "I put seven rounds into the thing and it still got back up." "There are many immortal beings that can be injured but not killed." "Nicolas Flamel." "The Wandering Jew." "The Black Mask, the sources reported him killed many times but he always seems to pop up when needed." "If I can't kill this thing, what am I supposed to do?" "Colonel, the library chose you for a reason and trust me, it wasn't because of your ability to kill." "We're not gonna save Henry Birch." "Well, then we get him justice." "We're here to protect innocent people from out-of-control magic." "I say this qualifies." "Golden Axe Foods has the Labyrinth in its basement." "Tell me why." "Well the myth is that the King imprisoned the Minotaur in the Labyrinth." "Every seven years he sends down 14 virgins, seven men, seven women, for sacrifice." "Good luck finding 14 virgins these days." "The Greek words for "virgin" are eitheos and parthenos, they both literally mean unmarried man and woman." "You-- it could mean youth, it could mean inexperienced" "Interns." "Okay?" "So in the myth, what did the King get for his sacrifices?" "He gets power." "He gets prosperity and wealth." ""Through war, famine and plague, Golden Axe will always prevail"." "The myth calls for fourteen sacrifices." "They're gonna kill six more people if we don't do anything about it." "Six more people are gonna be screaming, run down by that." "At least." "I mean, this has been going on for centuries, who's to say they're ever going to stop?" "We have to get that thread." "Have I mentioned, you know, world class thief?" "Relentlessly." "So the cases themselves have some heavy-duty security." "Taser nets are built in." "Touch one of the cases without deactivating the net and zap, 50,000 volts." "But the trick is getting back into that building, past that monster and tunneling underground is obviously out of the question" "Guys?" "That's impossible." "This is exactly like the frescoes that were in the" "We're back in the Labyrinth." "Okay, so I've got a phone signal, but no GPS." "How is this happening?" "Sorry, could you tell me where the nearest subway is?" "Sure." "Thanks." "Yes?" "Jenkins, quick question." "We're on the street outside the annex but we seem to be back in the Labyrinth." "Huh." "So, annoying or cryptic, those are your two speeds, huh?" "It's possible the Labyrinth isn't just a place, it is a lingering effect." "Like a curse?" "Yes." "The Labyrinth won't let you out." "It's confusing your senses, warping space around you." "It doesn't matter where you go, you'll get lost, eventually wandering back into its clutches." "Fascinating." "So how do we find the thread and shut down the maze if we're stuck in the maze?" "Huh." "If you say "huh" one more time, so help me" "Colonel Baird!" "Colonel Baird?" "Run!" "Jenkins!" "The Minotaur's in the maze with us!" "Get us out of here!" "I told you, I cannot pull that trick off twice." "Um..." "But perhaps I could use the Labyrinth itself to buy you some time." "He's right behind us!" "The Labyrinth confuses the senses, distorts space." "I can actually amplify the effect." "If I create a dimensional bubble around you so confusing even the Minotaur can't find you." "For how long?" "Five minutes." "Maybe less, certainly not more." "Good luck, Colonel." "Oh, and run." "Come on." "Okay, stay calm." "I've been in worse spots than this before." "Well, that strains credibility." "Stone, you take point." "Ezekiel, watch the rear, there's a high roof up there." "There isn't." "You heard what Jenkins said, the Labyrinth is just trying to confuse us." "Even it was there, we couldn't reach it." "It's not a suggestion, it's an order." "And I'm not a soldier!" "You're right." "I am, but you're not." "You're librarians." "Librarians win because of what they know." "So, what do you know?" "Come on, guys, what do you know?" "Theseus." "Bloke from the story." "He went into the maze and killed the Minotaur." "The Minotaur can't be killed." "Then how did he escape?" "You said the Minotaur was imprisoned inside the Labyrinth." "Every prison I've ever seen had a control center inside the walls." "Your man Theseus, maybe he didn't go to the center to try and kill the Minotaur" "Maybe he went to the center to pull the plug on the maze, same as us." "You want to bet that maze leads back to those artifacts?" "No, because I was in that artifact room, I wasn't-- keycard." "I used that stolen keycard." "The executive keycards keep them from getting lost in the Labyrinth." "We don't try to escape." "We go deeper in." "I can get us to the center." "My brain started trying to figure out the maze when I was in it before." "I've seen, experienced more of it now." "I bet I can get us through." "Okay, Cassandra's our thread." "Follow her." "Outrun the Minotaur, steal the power source for the maze, shut it down." "Librarians, we have a plan." "The Labyrinth:" "Imagine a building where every floor has a different layout." "And sometimes, when you walk around, you move between floors without even knowing it." "So from your perspective, the layout looks different but if you know what floor you're on, it makes perfect sense." "Sure." "Duh." "I just need to know how many floors are in the building." "That number, all the core geometry is gonna be based on that." " Without it" " It should be seven." "Seven's the number." "The myth is built on seven." "Seven male victims." "Seven female, sacrificed every seven years." "Seven." "Seven is violet." "Three seven-dimensional polytypes:" "Seven simplex, seven-cube and the seven-orthoplex." "There aren't enough vertices." "It's a demihepteract!" "Gotcha!" "Okay." "Is this the way in?" "It's the way back to the annex." "Probably." "Maybe." "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" "Where are you going?" "We have to split up." "And you don't want to be in the Labyrinth when it goes poof." "We're staying together." "I'm not letting you out of my sight again." "If we stick together he's got us." "This doesn't work unless someone distracts Mister Stompy." "Fine, I'll distract him." "On your own, you don't stand a chance." "And if he kills you, then he's gonna chase us down." "So we send these two in alone?" "Cassandra to find the center, me to grab the thread." "It's the only way." "You can't protect us all." "How much time do you need?" "Ten minutes to find the center." "Five to crack the case holding the thread." "15 minutes." "Check." "Don't jump the gun." "Don't lose the bull." "And don't stray off the path." "Good hunting." "Remember, we do this" "I know-- smarter, not harder." "I got it." "Minotaur growls )" "Yo!" "Come on, boy." "Okay, which way to the center?" "That way." "No, wait." "That way." "You sure?" "Back off, I'm doing math." "That way." "He's gaining on us." "Seven times seven is forty-nine." "Forty-nine times seven is three-forty-three." "Wait." "It's here." "It's right here." "Good for math." "This way!" "We're not gonna make it." "What are you doing?" "I'll buy you as much time as I can." " What?" " Go!" "No!" "Baird!" "Seven points on a heptagon-- seven is a Mersenne prime, two to the third minus one equals seven" "I" "I can't do it." "No, I can't do it." "Seven dimensions is-- it's too much." "I can't." "Seven's nothing." "Leaves you with what, three fingers?" "I once stole a gun out of a cop's hand using three fingers." "Stone was right." "You can't trust me." "I'll let everyone down." "If I was in your shoes, with that thing growing in my head," "I'd have sold everybody out for a cure, too." "The only difference is, I would have stuck the landing." "Let Flynn die." "Let the serpent brotherhood win." "Let the world burn." "But you didn't." "Yeah, you screwed people over but you didn't let them down." "I can't hold it though, it's too much." "So close your eyes." "Focus on your other senses." "My other senses and I don't get along so well." "Brain grape." "So I'll be your other senses." "Shut your eyes and see the map inside your head." "I'll lead you through." "You really trust me to do that?" "I'm the thief that bails on everybody." "Pretty sure you're the one trusting me." "Okay." "We need to go down and to the left." "That's good." "Good." "Good." "Look at that." "Smarter and harder." "You did it." "We made it." "You okay?" "Yeah." "Go." "I just need to count down from seven." "Seven is violet, six is indigo, five is blue" "Shut down the tasers, pop the case, grab the thread." "Five minutes is all we need." "You don't have it." "Who are you?" "We're the librarians." "We accept your surrender." "There's only one librarian and you are not him." "But something has changed." "There's more magic in the world, more power to our sacrifices." "Golden Axe, in one form or another has been sacrificing innocents to the Labyrinth for 3,000 years and we have never seen a stock bump like we got off our last offering." "We made it." "Is it still behind us?" "Assume yes." "You are the first modern people to reach the center." "No intern has ever managed that." "Kids today." "There's no initiative!" "You are a more old-fashioned, ritual sacrifice kind of person?" "I single-handedly modernized the process." "I said, "let's amortize"." "Spread the sacrifices out over the year instead of doing them all at once." "Increases the overhead but the decrease in visibility means your return on investment is even higher on a per-intern basis." "Hey." "You got to spend money to make money." "I get it." "Let's say we all part as friends" "You know, I'm not sure if shooting you here counts towards our fourteen or if the Minotaur has to make the kill itself." "I guess I'll find out tomorrow when I see the market returns." "Oh!" "Oh!" "Only two of you?" "I never thought they were cut out for" "Is that thing trying to get into my annex?" "You led that back to my--?" "Not now!" "Hey!" "This is delicate." "That's good, too." "Come on, then." "Give me that thread." "If you drop it, we're all doomed." "Uh, any ideas?" "Hey, let's be professional." "I have the resources." "You obviously have the talent." "Name your price." "Double if you take it in stock options." "Jenkins." "He said that magic depends on symbols." "What better symbol of a Labyrinth than a straight line rapped around and around and around itself?" "Here." "Catch!" "The Labyrinth!" "The Labyrinth!" "I believe I said with a "whoosh"." "Cassandra, Jones!" "Whoa!" "Got it." "Ha ha!" "Whoa!" "We made it." "Yeah." "You did." "This time, you did." "You should have seen her." "No hiding." "Took the fight right to the big bad." "And Ezekiel." "He did kind of save the day by bailing on me." "I told you." "I don't do punchy." "Well done." "May I?" "Now without this to serve as a power source, the Labyrinth should shrivel up and wink out of existence." "Eventually." "We ought to lock that up." "Yes." "Well, we don't have the facilities of the main library, but I'll think of something." "What about Willis?" "I mean, I know we stopped her, but shouldn't she go to jail or something for what she did to Henry Birch and the others?" "I wouldn't worry about Ms. Willis." "She imprisoned a Minotaur." "Nasty creatures." "Hold a grudge." "Those people do not know who they're messing with." "Librarians or not, we will find them, destroy them and get back what we" "Hey." "Look, um, things got a little heated in there" "Don't worry about it." "I'm not." "Kind of worried about what you said to me." "You know, if we're gonna work together, you're gonna need to trust" "Nobody knows." "Nobody back home knows about this." "I have kept it a secret for twenty years." "Why would you hide that?" "You're a genius, you know about culture and art and beautiful things." "I told you before, family ain't ever easy." "For me..." "You don't-- No." "That's enough for now." "The point is, I'm used to keeping my life separated." "All right?" "My family, my friends, I love 'em." "I like 'em." "No problem working right along side of them." "Any of them." "But I don't trust a single one of 'em to tell them..." "I mean, can you imagine meeting Flynn, meeting you, meeting Baird and the thief." "Finding out about this library." "Finding people I could trust." "Well, you know how that felt?" "I do." "I really do." "And then to have it broken?" "I like you, Cassie." "There's no way around it, I just do." "But I trusted you and, uh, I learned my lesson." "Not, it's not-- look, it always ends bad so" "old way's best." "So, end of day, not too bad for a first time out, was it?" "You did okay." "I, I could do better." "I spent my entire adult life in the military." "Everybody fits into a box." "You don't." "You're not assets to be protected, you're not soldiers I can order around." "I don't know what you are." "Well, maybe the term you're looking for is "partners"." "Fair enough." "Can you go back to the part where you said we were awesome?" "I said you did okay." "Yeah, but I'm gonna take that as "we rule."" "Mostly me." "You guys were okay." "Okay?" "I did math." "True." "Points for math." "Stone, though, you mostly just got beat up." "I do rule." "== sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man"