" Did you bring my band of Indians?" " Indians?" "Yes, American Indians, musicians to play in my café." " Oh, you mean Indians with feathers?" " Yes, with noses." " Like on the American five cents?" " Yes, yes." " Have you got them on board, yes?" " No." "Thank you, monsieur." "Indians?" "Indians?" "Are you the Wabash Indians Band?" "Are you Voyda?" "I am Alexander Petrovitch Moskovich Voyda." "Let's pick it up from there." "We're the boys you hired to play at your café." " The Wabash Indianians." " Indianians?" "Is this the same as Indians?" "Well, yes, in a sense." "You see, we don't wear our feathers in warm weather, do we, boys?" " No." " No, never, never." " Well, when do we start, Mr. Voyda?" " You don't start." "I cable for Indians and I want Indians!" "No pale American face is going to make me a fool of myself." "Did you ever heard of Alexander Petrovitch Moskovich Voyda?" " Sure." " Yes, and how, and how." "As a matter of fact, we hear you're one of the cleverest fellows in Paris." "In Paris and all Europe." "The whole world." "Well, I was coming to that." "I just wanted to prepare you, that's all." "You got a great bet in these boys, Mr. Voyda." " They'll be a knockout in your café." " They shall never see my café." "I ordered Indians, and what do I get?" "Wait, Mr. Voyda." "Huck, do the organ number, quick." "Come on, boys, give us the organ number." "Get the gloves out." " Oh, Mr. Voyda." " What?" "Aren't you going to give these boys a chance?" "No, why should I?" "Sorry, Mr. Voyda, but I'm afraid you've got to listen." "Just submit quietly and we'll both keep out of jail." "Well, how did you like that, Mr. Voyda?" "You see, you almost made a mistake." "I made a mistake?" "You made a mistake." "You are not Indians!" "The cable mentioned a short engagement." "Well, it was a nice trip over." "It'll be a nicer trip going back, stoking coals." "Come on, boys, the train for Paris." "A grand total of $13.78." "And a button." "Well, boys, at the rate we live, that'll last us about two months." "Mother told me there would be days like this." "Say, listen, they dance in Paris, don't they?" "All we have to do is find out who pays the fiddler." "Does anyone know anyone in Paris?" "That top sergeant brother of mine gave me some addresses." "Quiet." "Wait!" "I know somebody, a little girl who used to live next door to me." "Gee, I was crazy about her, too." "She's a sensation in Paris, she's a star of some show or something." " She'll help us." " Well, what's her name?" "What was her name?" "Gee, I could find her like that if I could only remember her name." "Anybody else you know you can't remember?" "Yeah, but I can't think who they are." "I know, it's Lizzie, Lizzie..." "Elizabeth Gatz." "That's it." "Elizabeth Gatz." "What a beautiful name." "Whether you find your Lizzie or not, I've got an aunt in Paris." "Aunt Minnie." "Can Aunt Minnie use a band?" "Probably not." "She's a dressmaker." "Well, I've knitted and tatted all my life, but I've never sewed." " She's very rich and famous." "She might..." " Why didn't you say so before?" "She's Roberta." "Roberta?" " This Roberta?" " Yeah." "They tell me in Paris if you don't buy your gowns from Roberta, you're not dressed at all." "I see, nude if you don't, and nude if you do." "Grab my bag, will you?" "Listen, ask your aunt Minnie if she knows where we can find Lizzie Gatz, will you?" " Okay." "I won't be long." " All right." "You fellows pick yourselves some comfortable easy chairs." "Hey!" "Hey!" "What am I supposed to do here besides pray?" "Or can't you speak English?" "Well, the old trap won't go." "Oh, what's the use?" "Just a dumb foreigner." "Oh, here, here, here." "You mustn't do that." "You might be killed." "Oh, you speak English." "Ladislaw." "Oh, don't go away." "I want to thank you." "Gee, you saved my life." "I'm ever so much obliged to you." "Oh, it's nothing at all." "Oh, I mean you're welcome, of course." "Do you know where I can find Madam Roberta?" "Yes." "Come with me." "I didn't really mean that about a dumb foreigner." "I forgive you." "Gee, that's swell." "You speak English beautifully." "Long ago I went to school in England." "Did you like it?" "Oh, yes, I like the English." "And the Americans, too." "Gee, that's swell." " I'm an American." " Gee, that's..." "I mean, I thought so." "Will you sit here, please?" "Thank you." "But Minnie, you've made a mistake in the year." "You don't look a day over..." " Stephanie!" " How do you do, Lord Henry?" "My dear." "I saw your cousin, Prince Peter, last week in Rome." "He asked after you most solicitously." "I hope you told him I had gone to work and he should do the same." "When all you titled aristocrats get jobs, maybe Europe can settle down to a few years' peace." "What is it, Stephanie?" "There's a young gentleman outside from America, waiting to see you." "Young gentleman from America?" "John." "John!" "Bring him in, Stephanie." "Bring him in!" "No, wait." "Don't let him come until I've powdered my nose." "Give me that compact, Henry." "Quick, quick, the compact!" "How does he look?" "He must look all right." " Send him in, Stephanie." " Yes, madame." " This "John from America", who is he?" " My nephew." "I met him when I was there a few years ago and took a great fancy to him." "He's quite famous in his way." ""All-American halfback" or "three quarters back" or something." " Really?" " Yes, you know, it's queer, but when you happen to like your relatives, you like them better than other people." " And if you hate them?" " Don't be obvious, Henry." "He was the only one of the whole tribe who was polite to me during my entire visit." "I like him, Henry." "He's like a big, affectionate, blundering Newfoundland dog." "I'd like to see him grow up." " How big is he now?" " Oh, about 6'2"." "John, my dear, I'm so glad to see you." "It's swell to see you, Aunt Minnie." " Here he is, Henry, here is my..." " Newfoundland dog?" "I was telling him about you, John." "This is Lord Henry Delves, a really grand person." "And this is Stephanie, my able assistant whom I couldn't do without." "Well, young man, I think your aunt should be very much complimented." "When I was in Paris at your age," "I didn't spend my time visiting my aunts." "Maybe you didn't have any aunts like Aunt Minnie." "Very prettily said, John." "There aren't any like your aunt Minnie." "Well, goodbye, young man, I'm off to catch a train, but in a fortnight I'll be back." "And then, as I understand is the custom in your country, we'll go places and do something." "Goodbye, Minnie, miss me just a little, won't you?" "A very great deal, my dear." "Nice old duck, isn't he?" "Oh, he isn't so terribly old." "Oh, I didn't mean in years, Aunt Minnie." "I meant I like him." "Do you?" "Then you're a good judge of men." "Now, tell me about this young lady you wrote me about." "What was her name?" "Sophie." "She's given me the air." "What?" "We had a row." "Oh, I thought she'd given you an heir." "She must be very stupid." "Oh, no, she's brilliant, really." "She speaks German and French and everything." "Here's her picture." "It isn't very good of her, though." "She has her points." "I take it you're smarting over this air she has given you." "Well, I'm still in love with her." "But she says I'm just a hick." " A what?" " A farmer." "I've got hay in my hair." "I can't talk on any subject," " I can't dance, I can't even dress myself." " Ridiculous." "And I don't know anything about women's clothes, and when I have to order dinner it's always meat, potatoes and pie." "Oh, she says that, does she?" "Well, we'll show her she's wrong." "Gosh, John's been in there a long while." "Oh, why didn't we go to a hotel first?" "Man, I'm hungry." "Come on, Mac, give him the call." "That's my gang." " I came over with a band." " A band of what?" "An orchestra." "They're the Wabash Indianians, hired for a job in Paris and fired through a misunderstanding." "Now they're looking for an engagement." "They're a swell bunch." "They do that rather prettily." "Madame, Scharwenka wants to see you." "She doesn't like her tissue." "She doesn't like the model, she doesn't like the fit, and she doesn't like the price." "Oh, you mean she doesn't like it." "Yes, madame, what will you do about it?" "Do about it?" "Let her go." "She'll come back." "She's the rage here right now, and she's got the best figure in Europe, but she has to have it dressed, at least partly." "I'm afraid she intends to start her screaming." "If she does, stick a pin in her." "Oh, I'd rather use an ice-pick." "This time I left the door open." "Who is she going to stick a pin into?" "Scharwenka, a Polish countess who has spurned the hollow mockeries of society and gone in for nightclub entertaining." "You can see she's talented." "Do you allow her to make such a noise?" " lf she enjoys it, why not?" " Well, suppose the police come in?" "Good, they can take her away." "But she must be insane to make such a row." "Stephanie may not be safe with her." " You feel inclined to stop her?" " Yes, I do." "No, no, no, no, no!" "You are not the only couturier in Paris!" "I am a good advertising for the house that dresses me!" "I do not know why I come to Roberta anyway!" "You..." "Will you quit pushing me?" "I..." "I beg your pardon." "You can't behave like that, you know." "You big beautiful American!" "You are very strong." "You do not understand." "These Latin races must be shouted at." "I'm not a Latin and shouting doesn't impress me." "Hey." "I shall never set foot in this place again." "You do not know how they have treated me." "This horrible old woman here." "The greedy old diable." "Easy, she's my aunt." "Oh, well, I was not blaming it on her." "She is really a genius, but that little shrew who runs the business." "That Stephanie..." "But Stephanie is swell." "What, you are her lover?" "I've never seen such a place." "No one thinks of anything but being somebody's lover." "Well, have you never thought of it?" "What happened?" "Your nephew has done most admirably, madame." "What did he do?" "Where is Scharwenka?" "On his neck." "Oh, I see." "Does he like it?" "Not particularly." "But I don't hear him shouting for help." "There's that cuckoo band again." "Scharwenka!" "Do you think she'd do something for my nephew if he asked her?" "I don't think he'll even have to ask her." "No, no, no." "I mean something for this band of his." "She could get them an engagement and if they're John's friends, they're a swell band." "I must show you Paris, and I want you to love it." " I've seen the Eiffel Tower." " Oh, no." "My dear Countess." "I understand there are a few things wrong with the gown." "You shall have a new model, at a new price." "Oh, there's nothing wrong with the gown." "I'll be back tomorrow for another fit." "May I present my nephew, John?" "Oh, he presented himself most charmingly." "My nephew is paying me a visit en route to London, he has a band which is playing at a private party for the Duke of Wattingham." "I should like to hear your orchestra sometime." "Now." "There's no time like now." "Now, hang on to your hat." "Hey, fellows!" "Strike it up." "It's a job." "Come on, boys, let's give them the Let's Begin number." " Come on, get over here." " Come on, man, get over there." "All right, boys, let's swing it." "Now that you've got me going what you gonna do?" "Is it up to me or is it up to you?" "What kind a game is this we've begun?" "Was it done just for fun?" "Don't forget since we've met" "There's no reason for vain regret." "Oh" "Is this to be a case of "fall and glad I fell, kiss and never tell" ""Folly and farewell?"" "Which is going to be "might have been" ""Lose or win?" "Let's begin"" "I'm here to tell you, let's begin" "Now that you've got me going what you gonna do?" "Is it up to me, or is it up to you?" "What kind of game is this we've begun" "Was it done just for fun?" " No" " Realize that I'm wise" "And please stop rolling those big blue eyes" "Is this to be a case of "Fall and glad I fell" ""Kiss and never tell, folly and farewell?"" "Which is going to be "might have been"let's begin" "Let's begin" " I think I saw..." " Huck, it looks like you're all set." " You remember the girl I told you about?" " She likes the band." "Well, I was out there dancing." "I looked up and I saw..." "Quiet, quiet, quiet!" " You're going in to meet a Polish countess." " I don't want to meet any countess." " But she can give the band a job." " I don't care what she can..." " Who, who can?" "She can?" " Yeah!" " Well, that's different." " No cracks, now." "I think they're very good." "Aunt Minnie, this is my friend Huck Haines." "My nephew has told me about you." "Countess, may I present Monsieur Huck Haines?" "Countess?" " Well, if it isn't..." " Huck is for Huckleberry, n'est-ce pas?" "Yes, and a couple of n'est-ce pas." "Mr. Haines is the piccolo player I was telling you about." "Ah!" "Piccolo player." "How charmant." "No, no, no, madame." "Pas de piccolo." "I play what you call a filthy piano." "May I present myself, Le Marquis de Indiana." "Ah, Indiana, a province in the south of Greece, eh?" "No, no, no, Madame la Comtesse." "Just west of Pittsburgh, babe." "Hey, ix-nay acking-cray." "These Americans are what you call fresh guys." "No, no, no." "Refreshing." "Oh, mais oui." "Refreshing." "Pardon, monsieur." "It is nothing, toots." "I should like to talk to this refreshing, filthy piano, alone." "Oh, certainly, certainly." "Is he a lunatic?" "Oh, no, that's merely his way of making her feel at home." "Oh!" "Now, listen here, Huck Haines..." "No, no, no, no." "What a charming surprise." "This little tete-a-tete with you, alone." "Huck, please." "What's the racket, Liz?" "Did you marry the title or just lift it?" "Be a pal, will you, Huck?" "It's just a stage name." "You've got to have a title to croon over here." "I know." "Gee, Lizzie, you look grand." "Look, I promise to get you a job if you won't tell on me." " Okay, Liz." " And it's not Liz." "I'm sorry, Princess?" "Baroness?" "Oh, what is it?" "You may call me Tanka." " Tanka." " You're welcome." "It's swell seeing you again, Tanka." "But what about that job for the boys?" "Madame Roberta is having tea in her sitting room, and she would like you to join her, if you'd care to." "Oh, I am so sorry." "But you will tell Madame Roberta that I have an engagement with the Marquis de Indiana?" "Yes, Countess." "Well, now, I guess I've got you to add to my worries." "It's time for your nap." "Stephanie, my child, I'm adding to your many duties." "We're going to make John over." "I think he's very nice as he is." "A good tailor never hurt a man, no matter how nice he is." "That's Ladislaw." "The doctor makes me take a nap every afternoon and Stephanie thinks that music helps me go to sleep." "Ladislaw is our doorman and a prince." "A prince, your doorman?" "A Russian prince." "If there were such a thing as a restoration," "Ladislaw would be in line for the throne." "Ladislaw, I hope you're in good finger today." " This is my nephew, Mr. Kent." " Glad to know you." "Are you comfortable?" "I want a drink of water." "Don't stand there, Ladislaw." "Play something." "Play something." "You'll wake her." "You're darn right, you will." "I'll be hard to handle" "I promise you that and if you complain here's one little Jane that will leave you flat" "I'll be hard to handle What else can I be?" "Just ask my dad the trouble he had controlling me" "I have faults, to be specific" "In a temper, oh I'm terrific" "I throw chairs and tables and I never miss" "Oh, I'm as cold as any shellfish" "I tell lies, I'm mean, I'm selfish" "Think it over, my warning is this" "I'll be hard to handle, I'm making it plain now just be a dear and scram out of here cause I'm gonna raise Cain" "I'm as cold as any shellfish I tell lies, I'm mean, I'm selfish" "Think it over my warning is" "If you want me sweet and hot Oh, I'll be hard to handle" "I'm making it plain" "Now just be a dear and scram out of here" "Nice work, Countess, nice work." "Oh, well." "That was pretty good, boys but listen, Candy, give me a better pick-up after that second break, will you?" "Okay." "Okay, boss." "You know, this reminds me of the old days when we used to give shows in your barn." "Yeah, we used to fight over who handled the gate receipts." "You remember the valentine I sent you?" "The one with the arrow piercing the heart and dripping blood?" "Oh, yes, I remember that." "I think that's the only valentine I ever received." "It's the only one I ever sent." "Those were the happy days, weren't they?" "Do you know, I think I was in love with you then, Huck." " I know you were." " You." "Me." "And what's more, I was madly in love with you." " Oh, we were funny kids, weren't we?" " Oh, I suppose so." "Remember that beauty contest I won?" " Oh, you got a trip to Kansas City." " Yeah, well you won it for me." "How did you get all those men from the overall factory to vote for me?" "That was easy." "I showed them a picture of Lillian Russell." "Lillian Russell?" "What was the matter with my picture?" "Well, if you must know, we got a lot of votes from the farmers with a picture of a prize heifer." "Oh, you." "He is coming now." "Listen, Huck, give it to him and make it sweet and hot." "Come on, boys, the big boss is coming." "Let's jam it." "What's that?" "You want an orchestra." "I have got one for you." "You are tearing your hair to get good music, I bring it to you." "I take them away from the Duke of Wattingham, just to give it to you." "You give it to me?" "How much does it cost?" "What does it matter?" "Listen to them." "They are good." "They are very good." "They are hired." "I am glad I didn't take those white-faced Indians." "I think maybe sometimes I am wrong." "But this orchestra is superb." "And who did it for you?" "Little Tanka." "The palefaces!" "Who did it?" "Little Tanka do it for me." "It's a frame-down." "That's what it is, a frame-down!" " Well, up or down, do we stick?" " Stick?" "You're right, you stick a knife upon my back." " Voyda, what is wrong with them?" " What is wrong for them?" "I cable for Wabash Indians and what do I get?" "Indianians!" "Get out!" "No job!" " I do not get it." " Neither did we." "Very well, let them go!" "Then I go with them!" "Oh, yes?" "Where you going to?" "Now, what was the name of that club that made you the offer yesterday?" "Oh, oh, the Club Antoine." "Oh, I could go there today." "They offered me a six-month contract and I could take the band with me." "You go, you go." "You are not bluffing with Voyda." "Indians." "Now, listen, Mr. Voyda." "I think you're making a big mistake by letting the Countess go to the Café Arman." "I mean Antoine." "I think you ought to try and make her stay here, if possible." "After all, Mr. Voyda, your money is just as good as no money." "I mean, anybody's money." "That Café Antoine." "I hold you to your contract with me." "I have your cable accepting it." "As for you, I can pay you as much money as Antoine can pay you." "Everything is fixed!" "I go and telephone my lawyer!" "Boys, we're working." "Hurray!" "Vive la France!" "Vive la Russia, you mean." "Hello, Stephanie." "Stephanie, how's the Newfoundland pup?" " The all-American nephew?" " You won't recognize him." "Since you've been gone, Stephanie has made a man of the world of him." "He's positively arresting." "You ought to see him, Lord Henry." "Your tailor has surpassed himself." "He looks wonderful." "But then I think he has the knack of wearing clothes." "Not every man has, you know." "And he has a positive flair for languages." "The way he's taken hold of French is amazing." "You should have heard him tell a taxi driver where to go last night." "And Stephanie and I have given him a few pointers it would take most men a lifetime to acquire." "What a start for a young fellow." "Au revoir, my dear." "You never looked lovelier in your life than you do this minute." "Until tomorrow." "It's always nice to know I shall see you tomorrow, Henry." "You've been saying very pleasant things to me, lately, Minnie." " Not really ill, I hope?" " No." " Stephanie." " Lord Henry." " Where is John?" " Taking his French lesson." "Haven't you heard them?" "No." "La winner!" "Come on, boys, come in." " So long, prof." " So long, prof." "Can I get you something?" "No, thank you." "Not even a drink of water?" "No." "Sing, please." "Yesterday" "Yesterday" "Days I knew as happy sweet sequestered days" "Olden days" "Golden days" "Days of mad romance" "And love joys were mine to take" "Mine to give" "Free and gaily flaming life was mine to live" "Sad am I" "Glad am I for today" "I'm dreaming of yesterday" "Joys were mine to take mine to give" "Free and gaily flaming life was mine to live" "Sad am I" "Glad am I for today" "I'm dreaming of yesterday" " Sophie, Sophie." " What's the matter?" "Here's an article about John." "He's turned dressmaker." "Can you bear it?" "Imagine John Kent in a smart dress shop?" "He wouldn't know a smart dress from last year's awning." "Well, the first place I'll make a beeline for in Paris is going to be Roberta's." "It's all right, Fernande." "I was just saying goodbye to a room in which I've been very happy." "But you are not leaving Roberta's, mademoiselle." "Goodbye, Fernande." "Bonjour, Monsieur Fullback." "I wish to place an order." "Would you mind hemstitching two dozen touchdowns for me?" "Oh, lay off." "Would run up for me two field goals and a bias, with the score tied in the back?" "Kind of a halfback." "I don't get sore often, but I will in a minute if you two don't shut up." "Do you plan fitting the ladies yourself, John?" "What a picture." "Tape measure around the neck and pin-cushion on the hip." "I ought to spank the two of you." "Now, don't lose your sense of humor, Johnny." "Why don't you let a guy alone when he's trying to figure things out?" "She just wants to know what you're going to do." " That's all." " I'm going home." " But you can't." "You're Mr. Roberta." " I'm not." "Stephanie is." "I mean, well, Aunt Minnie left no will, so her property comes to me." "But she always said the shop was to be Stephanie's." " Stephanie's going..." " Yes." "We are astonished." "Well, I'm not astonished." "You mean you're going to give the whole shop to Stephanie?" "Yes, right away." "That's what Aunt Minnie wanted and that's what I want." "You're giving it to her without any... strings?" "What do you mean, "strings"?" "Oh, she just means strings." "Well, you make yourselves comfortable." "I've got to find Stephanie." "I was looking for you." " Well, hello." " No, no, no." "Can you tell me why no will can be found?" " Well, because there isn't any." " Why haven't you been able to find it?" " It must have been destroyed." " So you admit it?" "Admit what?" "For years Stephanie has worked to build this business." "It was hers as much as Roberta's." "Madame could not destroy that will." " Are you trying to say I did?" " I will not say yes or not." "But it looks queer, very queer." "You..." "Why, you Russian prince!" "I'm still boss of this outfit, and you're fired!" "No, no, I am not fired." "I am perfectly cool." "I mean you're dismissed." "You think you can get rid of me so easy!" " Get out!" " You think no one will protect Stephanie." " Stephanie doesn't need your protection." " While Stephanie stays here and remains here, I will protect her." "Aren't you ashamed to be quarreling like two silly little boys?" "Please go, Lad, I'll meet you downstairs." "The Russian nobility burns me up anyway." "They're always sticking their noses in other people's business." " You don't like the Russian nobility?" " No." "I don't like his hanging around you." "I was going to give you the shop anyway." "Oh, you are very magnanimous, giving me something I don't want." " You don't want it?" " No." "And who are you to give me gifts?" " Wait a minute, you mustn't act like this." " I'll act the way I choose." "It's your shop, you run it." "Goodbye." "Hey, wait a minute, Stephanie." "I'm sorry, but I can't be a dressmaker." "I couldn't half carry on the business." " Maybe you could carry it on half." " How do you mean?" "Well, I mean" " maybe we could be partners." " No, no." "You like it, you take it, Stephanie." "I've got a football team to coach." "No, I wouldn't accept anything except in partnership." "Not on your life." "That's out." " All right, then I'm out." " Oh, wait a minute." "Pardon, mademoiselle, may I finish this now?" "Oh, yes, yes." "Oh, wait a minute." "May she?" "I mean, yes." "Certainly, my good woman." "You'll make a very nice partner." "It isn't generally known that Madame has been letting me do all the designing." "So we'll have to startle them with daring styles." " Partners." " Partners." "Oh, John, look." "We've had a brainstorm." "Instead of you going home, why don't you and Stephanie become partners?" "Huck, you're brilliant." "What do you say, Stephanie?" "No, not on your life." "That's out." "You'll make a very nice partner." "It isn't generally known that Madame has been letting me do the designing." "We'll have to startle them with daring styles." " Partners." " Partners." "Countess, you shall be our first customer." "Yvonne." "This we call le Petit Trianon." "If you don't like any of these, say so, won't you?" "Gee, I think they're swell." "And this is le train bleu." "Oh, that one's a honey." "That's the one I'd take." "Do your ecstasies refer to the gown or the girl?" "Oh, I hadn't noticed the girl, but now that you mention her," " I'd take..." " Yes?" "The gown." "Less upkeep." "This is called la sirene noire." "Does not she look wonderful in that?" "Marvelous." "Just like a peeled eel." "I don't like that one." "Liane..." "Albert." "Maybe we could do something about it." "Albert, do you suppose we could raise this back a little?" "If you don't mind, I'd like that dress out." " As bad as that, huh?" " Worse." "All right, then it's out." "Take it away, Albert." "This is le ciel gris." "That is the one I will take." "And tall, handsome gentlemen with large bank accounts will be asking for my telephone number." "And getting it." "And won't they be surprised when I answer?" "Well, so long." "Tell the Countess I'll be waiting for her." "Where?" "Oh, either on the right side of the Left Bank, or the left side of the right bank." " I think you're swell not to be angry." " Angry?" "I hope we're good enough friends for you to express an opinion." "And I hope we're good enough friends for you to dine with me tonight." " Oh, I'm sorry." " Tomorrow night." "I'm very sorry." "I'll tell you, the night Huck opens at the Café Russe." "All right." "Gee, that'll be swell." "Yes." "I've always been interested in newspaper work." "Have you anything more to say?" "I think he's said enough." "I haven't any more paper." "Oh, we have reams and reams of it here." "Oh, thanks." "A football player owning a dress shop is news, isn't it?" "Good news." "Well, that's what I say, almost too good to be true, and that's why we want you to have it first." "So that you can write it in your own sweet charming way that you've made famous," "Miss..." "We want you to introduce it in your own inimitable style, Miss..." " Jones." " Jones." "Jones." "But I'm still sore about all those silly jokes they're printing about me." "Yes, but they print it." "Every time they make a joke, a million francs pour in." "It's a pretty expensive joke on somebody else, I think." " Now, when Mr. Kent designs clothes..." " When I what?" "Does Mr. Kent design clothes, too?" " No." " Oh, modesty, modesty." "Mr. Kent's idea is to introduce the football motif into dress designing." "The outdoor flavor will make the evening clothes look healthier." "Oh, wait till you see our end-around-end evening creation." "You know, the one with the dash-off center." "Has Mr. Kent any more ideas?" " No." " Oh, yes, thousands and thousands." "As a matter of fact, Mr. Kent's main idea is to design women's dresses the way men think they should be." "And how do you men think they should be?" "Not so naked." "Well, well, he means that if clothes are to clothe, they should clothe." "It's more stimulating to the imagination, if clothes clothe." "That's very unique." "Yes." "And pockets in all dresses, especially in the evening ones, so the women can pack their own junk." "The bulging pockets of the male will disappear forever." "Women will not have to depend upon their male escorts." "They'll be much more independent." "As a matter of fact..." "As a matter of fact, pockets will make the female more female." "Very nice." "And gloves attached to the dress, so they won't get lost." "They'll be worn on a jeweled..." "Around the neck." "Brilliant!" "Well, I really must be going now." " Oh, that's too bad." " That's fine." " Have you had enough?" " Yes, I think I have quite enough." " Now tell me, what paper will this be in?" " Paper?" "Why, I'm Miss Jones." "I'm syndicated." "When you talk to me, you're telling the world." "How was I, toots?" "Pardon, monsieur, a lady to see you." " Another newspaper woman?" " An American, I think." "A Miss Teale." "Sophie!" "Send her in, please." "Huck, she's here." "That's great, and just when you were getting along so swell." "You don't appreciate her." "I know she seems a little hard and sophisticated." "But underneath she's a pearl." "And a pearl, so I am told, is the result of a chronic irritation on an oyster." "What do you know about anything, anyway?" " I know about everything, every way." " Then you must know Sophie's swell." "John, every day you act worse, but today you're acting like tomorrow." " Hello, John." " Sophie!" "You're awfully hard to see since you became a couturier." "Not for you, Sophie." "When did you arrive in Paris?" "This morning." "How long are you going to stay?" "Oh, hello, Huckleberry." "Hello, Soph." "Mother and I are going to Switzerland on Saturday." "Goodbye, John." "I'll see you Sunday." "Don't mind him, he's only clowning." "Thank you, dear." "Well, so you're here now." "Yes." " Aren't you pleased to see me?" " Sophie, I've tried to forget you." "And have you, John?" "I thought I had, but now I know I haven't." "Gee, you're swell." "John, you have a line that just sweeps a girl right off her feet." "Yeah, sure." "When are you going to show me Paris?" "You'd be bored seeing Paris with a small-town hick like me, who only knows how to order meat and potatoes and pie." "Oh, please forget I ever said those things." "I only said them because you were going away." "I didn't want you to go." " I loved you so much." " It was a funny way to love me." "But, John, darling, don't you ever say things you don't mean?" "No." "Well, maybe I do." "Don't cry, Sophie, I don't like it." "I can't help it." "I'm so unhappy." "I came all the way to Paris just to see you." " Only to find you don't love me anymore." " But I do, Sophie, honest I do." "Oh, John." " Oh, I'm sorry." " Oh, come in, Stephanie." "May I present Miss Sophie Teale?" "My partner Stephanie." "How do you do?" "When I come in for a new gown, may I ask for you?" "Oh, that'll be swell." "Well, I'll run along." "I know how busy you are." " No, I'll see you to the door." " No." "No." "Business before pleasure." "But I'll save Wednesday for you." "Lunch and dinner and the evening." "That's fine." "It's a date." "Goodbye, miss." " Stephanie, I want to..." " Why, when you have time," " I wish you'd look over these materials." " But I want to tell you about Sophie." " She's very lovely." " Yes, that is..." "I mean she..." "Holy smokes, haven't we a date for next Wednesday?" "Oh, have we?" "I'm sure we haven't." "This we call le lys doré." "If I weren't going out with Johnny, I wouldn't be so particular." "But I'm sure he'll want me to have something that expresses my personality." "Suppose we have Johnny come in and help you select something." "He knows so much more about your personality than I do." "Oh, no." "No, please." "I want to surprise him." "You know, he's really just a little boy in spite of his man-of-the-world exterior." "Yes, I suspected that." "I'll see what else I can get for you." " Oh, hello, Huck." " Hello." "If you're looking for Johnny, he's in conference with his lawyer." "Well, then, maybe you'll have lunch with me." " Are you busy?" " Very." "I'm trying to find something to suit the personality of Miss Sophie Teale." "Then you are busy." "Liane." "Excuse me, won't you?" "Liane, that dress was discarded." "Why do you have it on?" "Albert wanted to make a new top for it." "Oh, all right." "Fine." " Is Miss Teale's personality in there?" " Yes, right in there." "I'll go and torment her a while." "Is that beautiful." "And just made for you, Soph." " Oh, hello." "Do you really think it suits me?" " Oh, certainly." "A little longer sleeves, it would make an ideal straitjacket." "Some day, by sheer accident, you're going to say something funny, Huck." "Oh, Soph, now don't be like that." "Do you mind if I sit here and help you pick out a gown?" "No, I'm trying to find something that John will like on me." "Something startling." "John loves to be startled by girls' dresses." "Here is a gown that might please you, Miss Teale." "This gown has both chic and good breeding." "I'm more interested in its chic." "I can supply the breeding myself." "I know the dress." "Look, Stephanie, you know that one that..." "It sort of begins and then in the..." "You know, the black one." " The black one?" " Yes, the one you put aside." "Oh, no." "No, I can't." "Oh, yes, you can, Stephanie." "Show it to Miss Teale." " I know she'd like it." " Oh, no, Mr. Kent wouldn't..." "I'm quite sure Mr. Kent would want me to see any model you have." "Please have it shown as quickly as possible." "That's it, Stephanie, please have it shown as quickly as possible." "Just because it's been set aside for a marquise, doesn't mean that it can't be shown." "Very well." "Anna, have Liane model la sirene noire at once, please." "Oh, thank you, Huck." "Now we're getting someplace." " She'll probably like that dress." " She's going to like it." "When John sees her in it, oh boy, he's gonna make her walk home, ocean and all." " No, he won't." "He's in love with her." " He only thinks he is." "If he were, would you mind?" "I am minding, Huck." "Terribly." "Can't you hurry that model?" "Yes." "Yes, Miss Teale." "Well, now that's the smartest thing you've shown me." "I like it." "It's been discarded." "It wasn't put aside for anyone." " Huck was mistaken about that." " Oh, I see." "Well, I think I'll have it just the same." "What shall I do?" "You're doing fine." " How much is it?" " It's only 1,000 francs." "It's hardly worthy of you." "I'm afraid she's right, Sophie." "You know it may not be so becoming." "You're not a very good saleslady." "Maybe I'm wrong, Miss Teale." "That dress might suit you very well." "This is the bit of international diplomacy" "I shall boast about to my grandchildren, the nasty little demons." "I'll take the dress." "But I want to try it on first." "The more I think of it, the more I am sure the dress will bring out something elegantly alluring in you." "Well, I always know the moment I see a dress whether it'll be right for me or not." "I'll take this drink and then the food." " Gee, I'm starved." " Me, too." " Hello, hello, hello." " Oh, hello, Huck." " Hello, Soph." " Hello." "Oh, say, Huck, will you take care of Sophie for a minute?" "I want to see about a table." "Pardon me, Sophie." " Here's a drink waiting for you." " Oh, thanks, John." "Thanks." " Got the new dress on, Soph?" " Certainly." "You don't know it, but this is a great moment in my life." " Oh, thank you, Huck." " Thank you." "Don't you think this dress does something for me?" " It'll do something for me." " Oh, now, Huck." " A dress like this depends on..." " I know, it depends on that shoulder strap." "Has John seen it yet?" " Afraid he won't like it." " And why not?" "He thinks everything I wear is perfect." "If I ever ask him how he likes a dress, he just looks at me with calf-eyes and says, "Gee, darling, you look swell."" "I bet he won't say it about that one." "I'll bet you $100 he says, "Gee, that looks swell."" " Make it francs, and it's a bet." " Sold." "Look, John, we want you to settle a little bet." "Sophie has a very important question to ask you." "Gee, that's swell." "How do you like it?" "Isn't it a knockout?" "It's the worst-looking thing I ever saw." "Gee, darling, you look terrible." " Who sold it to you?" " Your partner." "She thought it brought out something elegantly alluring in me." "Oh, she did, did she?" "I'm sorry I said anything, Sophie." "It isn't your fault, you send it back." "I will not send it back." "It's the smartest thing in your shop." "But what do you know about clothes anyway?" "You make yourself ridiculous by even discussing them." "I knew enough about them to order that thing out of our line." "Let me tell you something, John Kent, now that you think you know something about women's clothes..." " Please." " Now that you are carrying on" " with your dressmaker." " Shut up." "I won't shut up." "You're in love with her." "I could tell it the minute she came into your office." "Let's go home." "I'll go home and I'll go home alone." "Suit yourself." " What?" "You'd let me?" " Why not?" "And now we're getting down to cases, here's something I want to tell you." "You've bawled me out for the last time." "I've stood for all your knocking and criticism because it sounded so cute coming from such a little snip." "And because I thought I loved you." " Oh, you thought you loved me?" " Yes, and what a sap you've made of me." "Well, it certainly didn't take much effort." "And don't you ever come crawling back to me again." "Because I'm through." "Through!" "Do you hear me?" "Do you hear me?" "Sure, but I thought you said you were through." " Well, I am." " Well, goodbye!" "Goodbye!" "Noisy." " Give me a dozen brandies." " A dozen?" "Yeah, and line them up right here." "Is there anything I can do for you?" "No." "Think of what you're losing by constantly refusing to dance with me" "You'd be the idol of France with me" "And yet you stand there and shake your foolish head dramatically" "While I wait here so ecstatically" "You just look and say emphatically" "Not this season There's a reason" "I won't dance Don't ask me" "I won't dance Don't ask me" "I won't dance, madam, with you" "My heart won't let my feet do things they should do" "You know what?" "You're lovely" "And so what?" "I'm lovely" "But oh, what you do to me" "I'm like an ocean wave that's bumped on the shore" "I feel so absolutely stumped on the floor" "Ah, but when you dance you're charming and you're gentle" "Especially when you do the Continental" "But this feeling isn't purely mental" "For heaven rest us, I'm not asbestos" "And that's why I won't dance" "Why should I?" "I won't dance How could I?" "I won't dance, merci beaucoup" "Won't you?" "I know that music leads the way to romance" "And if I hold you in my arms I won't dance" "Bravo!" "Bravo!" "Good work." "I won't dance, ta-da-dah" "I won't dance" "Get the musicians, quick." "I want a drink, ta-da-dah" "I want a drink, ta-da-dah" "I want a drink, ta-da-dah" "Your Highness, this is a great honor." "Broken down prince rates a lot of trumpeting." " What is it?" " You are going to sing for us." " Oh, am I?" " Yes." "All right." "They asked me how I knew" "My true love was true" "I of course replied" "Something here inside" "Cannot be denied" "They said someday" "You'll find all who love are blind" "When your heart's on fire" "You must realize smoke gets in your eyes" "So I chaffed them and I gaily laughed" "To think they could doubt my love" "Yet today my love has flown away" "I am without my love" "Now laughing friends deride" "Tears I cannot hide" "So I smile and say" "When the lovely flame dies" "Smoke gets in your eyes" "They said someday you'll find all who love are blind" "When your heart's on fire" "You must realize" "Smoke gets in your eyes" "So I chaffed them and I gaily laughed" "To think I could" "Doubt my love" "Yet to... my love" " Nice of you to join us." " Now, don't try and high-hat me just because you happen to be with a broken-down prince." " Please go away, John." " No, I wanna talk to you." " You're not yourself." " Yes, I am." "I'm twice myself." "I wanna talk to you." "What do you mean selling that dress?" "Didn't I tell you to throw it out?" " I didn't intend to." " You did, too." "It was a dirty trick to play on a friend of mine." " Please go away, Mr. Kent." " You stick to your own business." " Laddie, please." " Well, what have you got to say?" " I've nothing to say." " Oh, you have nothing to say." "Well, I have." "And I think it was a sneaking thing to do." "Telling Sophie she looked elegantly alluring in an ugly, vulgar..." " Please, John, tomorrow." " No, I want it out, now." "All right, I'll tell you." "I sold her that vulgar, tasteless dress because I thought it suited her perfectly." "I think she suits you perfectly." "I think you're perfectly matched." "And after this, you'd better count on running your business without me." " Stephanie, I..." " Now, will you please go?" "So I chaffed them and I gaily laughed" "To think they could doubt my love" "Yet today my love has flown away" "I am without my love" "Now laughing friends deride" "Tears I cannot hide" "So" "I smile and say" "When the lovely flame dies" "Smoke gets in your..." "Yeah." "Yeah, I know." "I know, but look, this is no joke." "I didn't say I'd take care of your silly dressmaking business indefinitely." "But you can't give it to me." "I won't take it." " You've got a band to look after." " I've got a band to look after." "I know, but John, Stephanie isn't here, either." " Monsieur." " What?" "Yeah, the one with the spots." "What?" "Well, how do I know were she is?" "I only agreed to do this thing to help you out, you know." "But it isn't my racket either." " Tell him you've got a band!" " I've got a band!" "And both the band and the shop will be on the rocks this way!" "I don't care which one you use." "They're both terrible." "What?" "Yeah, that was the Countess." "Well, what about it?" " Yes, but don't you think..." " I don't think..." "Look, use the other one, the both of them." "The whole flock of them." "Out." "Out." "What?" "Look, John, if I knew where Stephanie was" "I wouldn't be wasting my time with you, babe." "I know, but somebody's got to come and take this ridiculous business off my shoulders." "In the four days I've been here, my voice is beginning to change." "John, but wait." "Don't hang up." "He won't come back." "Now what am I gonna do?" " You're not asking my opinion, are you?" " Yes." "No." "Pardon, monsieur, but do you think we should use matelassé for the "after twilight" number or paillettes?" "And what about the tippet?" " Well, what do you think?" " I wouldn't know, monsieur." "Well, personally, I go in for the simple things." " Which is the simpler?" " There is no difference, monsieur." "Well, then, use whichever we have the most of." "We have plenty of all." "Oh, we have?" " Well, then use a little of each." " A sort of a patchwork quilt." "Yeah." "No." "It will be newer that way and have much more chic." "Tell Madame Blanchard that's my final decision." "Stephanie." " I knew you'd come back." " I came back to tell John Kent he's insane." "Where is he?" "Look at those." "How do you think women are going to react to those?" "Where is Mr. Kent?" "Oh, he's not here." "He's been staying away, too." " Who has been running the business?" " Did you say running or ruining?" "Well, someone had to do it." "You and John left it flat." "But I thought surely he was here." "Well, if he were, he doesn't know any more about it than Huck does." "Not as much." "You are the one who is needed, Stephanie." "Well, that's impossible." "Why?" "Just because you and John are in love with each other?" "Don't be fantastic, Huck." "John isn't in love with me." "Is it fantastic when a man is eating his heart out for you?" "When your name is continually on his lips?" "When he stands around dark street corners just to get a glimpse of you?" " He doesn't." " He does, and more." "Everyone around here knows it but you, Stephanie." "And maybe John." " But he's always quarreling with me." " Well, what more can you ask?" "Oh, that's nothing." "People in love are always quarreling with each other." "Now you take Liz and myself for instance." "Liz?" "Who is this Liz?" "Oh, a little country girl from back home that I'm thinking of marrying." "You know, big feet, dumb, simple." "Oh, very simple." "Well, the simple and dumb ones make the best wives sometimes." "Well, forgetting about this girl of Huck's from back home, with the big feet, what about Roberta?" "What about John?" "Yes, Stephanie, you must come back for Aunt Minnie's sake." "No, I'm sorry." "I can't." "Stephanie, you must." "Come in." "Oh, I'm sorry." "Oh, mademoiselle, I am so happy." "Now you can..." "Give those to Mr. Haines, Albert." "Well, there are some dresses that men will fall for." " I practically designed those myself." " I've seen worse, darling, but not much." "And what do you think, Stephanie?" "Are they as bad as that?" "Well, the men may like them, but I'm sure the women won't." "Well, maybe you're right and maybe you're wrong." " We'll just have to try them out, I guess." " But, Huck, you can't." "Roberta's never put out clothes like those." "Roberta's is in new hands now." "But this is like the mode two seasons back." "I know, but I liked them better then." "But nobody will buy them." "Well, you'd be laughed out of Paris if you did a thing like that." "The trend is away from such styles." " I'm not interested in the trend." " But you've got to be." "You don't understand." "You're giving a fashion show next week." "Every couturier in Europe is going to be watching." "You can't afford to show models like those." "Well, of course you cannot." "Stephanie is right!" "What does it matter as long as they're pretty?" "But clothes must be more than pretty." "Look, the trouble with that is it..." "It fits in the wrong places." "Such a pity." "The famous Roberta to go second rate." " Roberta's will never go second rate." " Who is to stop it?" "The fashion show next week will be a colossal flop." "Maybe we should call off the fashion show." "I think so." " We might better put on a good one." " Now you're talking, Stephanie." "We'll put on a better-than-good one." "We'll give them some entertainment, too." " How about your band?" " That's a great idea." " Yeah." " We'll bring over my band." " A musical fashion show." " Yes, that's it." " It'll be marvelous." " And you can make the new designs." "We endorse this polo rig, of course" "And for an added 1,000 francs we furnish horses" "Or if you're doing splits on skis at St. Moritz" "You'd be the best-dressed "faller-downer" on the courses" "Now take the dowager who is glad to leave her watchman for tea" "She'll wear this patriotic plaid and meet that Scotchman for tea" "When summertime begins this costume always wins" "When 50 million little Frenchmen clap their fins" "For hunting grouse or quail Roberta ran up this suit" "The modest price includes the bag, the gun and two ducks to shoot" "And should Amelia Earhart care to get a breath of air this is the last thing in the world she'd ever wear" " Ladislaw, are we gathering later?" " The Princess begs to be excused." "We are leaving for Rome immediately the showing is finished." "It is the hour for dry martinis" "The park is full of little Fords and Isotta Fraschinis" "The Ritz bar is serving caviar and weenies" "Madame is there" "And from Roberta she has something that is too divine on" "The sort of thing your jealous friends would love to spill their wine on" "For your inspection, our cocktail collection" "Clothes must play a part" "To light an eye, to win a heart" "They say a gown can almost speak" "If it is chic" "Should you select the right effect you cannot miss" "And night and day" "He is sure to say" "Lovely to look at delightful to know" "And heaven to kiss" "A combination like this" "Is quite my most impossible scheme come true lmagine finding a dream like you" "You're lovely to look at" "It's thrilling to hold you" "Terribly tight" "For we're together, the moon is new" "And oh, it's lovely to look at you" "Tonight" "You're lovely to look at" "Delightful to know" "And heaven to kiss" "Heaven to kiss" "A combination like this" "Is quite my most impossible scheme come true lmagine finding a dream like you" "You're lovely to look at" "It's thrilling to hold you" "Terribly tight" "For we're together, the moon is new" "And oh, it's lovely to look at you" "Tonight" "So lovely to look at" "Delightful to know" "And heaven to kiss" "A combination like this" "Is quite my most impossible scheme come true lmagine finding a dream like you" "You're lovely to look at" "It's thrilling to hold you terribly tight" "For we're together, the moon is new" "It's lovely to look at you" "Tonight" "I have never seen Princess Stephanie look so lovely." "Yes." "We shall miss her now that she and Prince Ladislaw are leaving Paris." "Oh, did she marry him?" "At night when madame leaves the quiet of her hall room" "To drag her very weary feet around the ballroom" "Her clothes and jewels must be a monument of power" "I mean, the monument they call the Eiffel Tower" "We'll show you the gown we made Marie," "Queen of Romania" "We also ran up three of these for Mrs. Smudge, Pennsylvania" "The lights are low, here we go" "Lovely to look at, delightful to know" "And heaven to kiss" "A combination like this" "Is quite my most impossible dream come true lmagine finding a boy like you" "You're lovely to look at" "It's thrilling to hold you terribly tight" "For we're together, the moon is new" "And, oh, it's lovely to look at you" " Oh, my." "Oh, my." " What?" " I said, "My, oh, my." That was lovely." " It went well, didn't it?" " I guess I'll have to give in to you." " To me?" "But I didn't say anything." "But I thought you were about to want to marry me." " Well, I was." " Well, I accept." "Well, thanks very much." "Well, you're quite welcome, my fine feathered friend." "Hey!" "Hey!" " Hey, do something about this." "Will you?" " Just a moment." "You stay right there." "Well, where do you think I can go?" " John." " Stephanie, I..." " Stephanie, are you happy?" " Tremendously." " Then I am, too." " Well." "Haven't you anything more to say?" "No." "Only congratulations and have a good time and goodbye." "I'm sailing for New York tomorrow." "You're being very heroic about something." "What is it?" "Oh, I was just thinking it must be fun to suddenly find yourself a princess married to a nice prince." "I was born a princess." "I'm not married to Ladislaw." "He's my cousin." "And you're still a big blundering, Newfoundland fullback." " Where are you going?" " Down." " Why?" " Because I pushed the button." " But I want to talk to you." " That's what you're doing." "Just let me tell you I love you." " What does that mean?" " I love you." "Gee, that's swell."