"We can't sit there." "Rocky's there with Gemma." "I can't sit near Rocky." "I still love Rocky." "Don't look, Viva." "Rocky and Gemma are being totally inappropriate." "Viva would never let Rocky eat a burrito out of her cleavage." "He's the only boy I'll ever love." "And now I've ruined it with my stupid obsession with getting an education and making something of myself and going to uni." "Why did I ever care about any of that stuff?" "There's four seats there, but that kid's there." "Josh Moodie." "Let's sit with him, then." "But Josh Moodie is Death Boy." "He's the one who was driving in that big car accident at half-term where all his grandparents died." "He looks so sad." "Yeah, you'd look sad if you'd just killed all your grandparents." "Except my Granny Linda, cos she's a bitch." "We don't know what happened." "Maybe it wasn't even his fault." "Come on." "Just don't mention the accident." "Just nice, normal chat." "How was your pizza, Josh?" "Disgusting." "Well, like Buddha said, all life is suffering." "I know what you mean." "Life does feel like a punishment sometimes." "A punishment for being born." "Tornadoes, tsunamis, typhoons..." "Heartbreak." "Earthquakes, explosions, epidemics..." "And heartbreak." "Fire, flood, famine..." "Car accidents." "Holli!" "It's fine." "I know everyone calls me Death Boy and I know everyone hates me." "Was it your fault, though?" "Josh probably doesn't want to talk about it." "I couldn't talk about it, even if I wanted to." "I have no memory of the accident." "All I know is I crawled away, the car exploded, my grandparents died." "Aw, at least they was all quite old, though." "So was there nothing left of them?" "Only this titanium bolt from Granddad Bill's hip." "Or Granny Beryl's hip." "Grandma Ellen's hip, or..." "Granddad Alf's knee." "Or hip." "It's really dirty." "It's black and tarnished from the searing furnace of their death chamber." "I'll wear it always." "Aw, that's nice." "Like a lucky charm." "We know how you feel." "Everyone gets their heart broken." "My first boyfriend dumped me for my best friend." "I was heartbroken, but I dealt with it." "I shot my best friend's favourite sheep and I moved on." "She set fire to my bed and she moved on." "It's life." "Life is love, love is life." "Live your life." "Why didn't you just hang on to Rocky?" "Everyone told you to hang on to Rocky." "Rocky loved you." "And now he loves Gemma." "She's hotter than you, with better boobs." "Shut up, Jamie!" "In two weeks' time, you're going to have a new baby sister, Viva." "An amazing blessing's coming into our life." "A baby." "So what?" "Babies are being born all the time." "Every single one of those babies is just going to get old and get wrinkly and get diseases and die." "Even yours." "OK, so you're depressed." "Boo-hoo-hoo!" "It sucks!" "But what are you going to do about it?" "Nothing." "There's nothing I can do about it." "Off the top of my head, you could find a bug and squash it, or sculpt some cheese into a face." "Anna..." "Anna, leave it." "As long as Viva knows we're here for her and that we love her..." "I'm going to bed." "Viva, if you're going to cry yourself to sleep again tonight, can you just turn the volume down a bit?" "Let's sit with Josh." "Well, come on." "He's all alone." "Of course he's alone, because he's depressing!" "God, is he actually crying?" "You're horrible." "Can you imagine the guilt he's living with?" "Well, he did slaughter four people." "It probably wasn't even his fault." "You three just don't understand what it's like to live with darkness." "I do!" "I still remember the day" "I rode my scooter over my sister's guinea pig and squished it." "I only ate black jelly babies for the rest of the day." "You just don't get that it's all meaningless." "All there is is nothing." "Nothing..." "Nothing..." "Aw, do you need huggle-wuggle time?" "No, Amber, I don't." "I am SO beyond huggle-wuggle time." "Just cos Rocky's doing Gemma now and you totally fucked up the arse big time, no need to take it out on us, you miserable bitch!" "I'll be with Josh." "If you want to be my friend, you'll have to be Josh's friend." "Viva, wait..." "The forces of darkness are claiming her." "She's being sucked into Josh's whirlpool of misery and death." "I want normal, happy Viva back." "We should cheer her up." "We need to get her away from Josh." "Oh, my God." "I've just thought of an amazingly awesome plan all on my own." "I was watching this programme last night called The Boy Whose Face Melted Off." "I saw that." "His face melted off." "Basically, he's got this disease and it's, like, really rare." "Hardly anyone has it." "Yeah." "That's why it's rare." "So my plan is, we pretend Viva's got the face-melting thing and she's dying and it's her last dying wish to meet One Direction." "Then, One Direction will come and she'll forget all about Rocky." "This is good, Amber." "Good." "But not One Direction." "She doesn't even like One Direction." "Lil Wayne?" "Big Sean?" "Medium Size Mike?" "Tinie Tempah." "Yeah, Tinie Tempah." "Right, so we contact Tinie Tempah and tell him that our friend's got a disease and can he come and visit us before it's too late?" "Tinie Tempah probably gets 1,000 calls from girls with diseases." "He's probably got a team set up whose job it is to check whose face really is melting." "It'll never work, it's pathetic." "What about we try and split up Gemma and Rocky?" "I could have a chat with Gemma." "Not to do anything to her, maybe just show her my dad's baseball bat." "That's even more pathetic." "OK, so what's your plan?" "You have an idea?" "She's got to deal with it." "Like I had to deal with it when Joe's family emigrated to Australia and no-one made a massive fuss over me when I was heartbroken." "Just man up, Saz." "I've got it!" "You love life!" "I love Rocky." "You love life!" "I love Rocky!" "You love Rocky!" "I know I do!" "What?" "You just said I love Rocky." "No, I didn't." "You love Rocky." "I mean, you love life." "It's not going to work, Hols." "You can't just slap me into not loving Rocky." "Worth a try." "It scares me how much I like hitting people." "No, Amber, you've had your 12." "Remember, there were 61." "12 and one fifth each." "Oh, my God!" "It's Booky Joe!" "Where?" "Where'd he go?" "That's not funny!" "It's cruel and it's greedy." "Sorry, Saz." "Do you still think about Joe?" "Yeah." "Especially at night, in bed." "I make up stories about him to cheer myself up." "Aw, that's sweet." "My favourite one is that his cousin gets leukaemia and it turns out that Joe's the only one with a perfect bone marrow match." "So he has to come back to the UK to have his bone marrow harvested." "And when he's in hospital having the procedure, he realises that he can't live without me any longer." "Then it gets a little bit sexy." "What?" "While he's in hospital hooked up to that bone marrow machine?" "That's dirty." "Gemma's having a party this Friday." "It's on Facebook." "Party?" "Is Rocky going?" "Of course he will." "Him and Gemma are going out now, aren't they?" "He's her boyfriend." "Why wouldn't he go?" "Why do people get so excited about parties?" "I mean, at the end of the night, what are parties really about?" "Vomit, urine, self-harm, drug-induced psychosis, STDs, unwanted pregnancies, microwaved cats." "Then there's all the washing-up." "I want to go." "I want to go to Gemma's party." "I'm not being funny, Viva, but I don't think you're invited." "I want to see them together." "See what they're like not at school." "I want to see if he's like he was when he was with me." "Yeah, let's gatecrash and smash up her house and poo in all her vases." "I'm not gatecrashing Gemma's party, end of." "We could go and spy." "Just watch it all from the outside." "But aren't you just going to make yourself feel worse?" "I need to go!" "I'll go with you." "I completely get the need to make pain better by making it much worse." "Thanks, Josh." "You're a good friend." "OK, we'll go too." "We'll all watch from outside." "I can drive us." "No, that's OK." "Don't worry." "There are some crazy outfits at this party." "Wellies, hoe, six beers." "I want a beer." "And that one - fishing rod, funny hat, six beers." "We should have brought beers." "I can't stand and watch people with drinks and then watch them get pissed." "I can't do it." "And that one - fur coat - that's a bit weird." "I know what I'm like." "I'll literally be forced to mug someone." "It's not fair on me." "I'm getting a funny tingle." "Did you see Rocky?" "Not that sort of tingle." "What other sort of tingle is there?" "When it's all coming together in your brain and things start to whizz and snap and make patterns up here, and you realise you're about to put something smart together, you know?" "No." "Farmer, fisherman, coal miner, fur coat." "I think I know where you're going with this." "Agriculture, District 11." "Fishing, District 4." "Luxury goods, District 1." "Mining, District 12." "It's a Hunger Games fancy dress party!" "I'm so fucking CSI sometimes!" "A Hunger Games party." "It said that on Facebook." "Oh, my God!" "This is the most brilliant party ever." "Why am I not friends with people who have Hunger Games fancy dress parties?" "Why am I friends with people who crouch behind bushes?" "I would have come as a giant mushroom cloud " "District 13, nuclear technology." "It's so dumb." "Rocky doesn't even like reading." "He's hardly read a book in his whole life." "Why would he want a girlfriend whose party has got a book theme?" "Basically, he likes banging her, innit?" "The looks of hope and excitement on their faces." "So sad." "So, so, so, so, so, so sad." "Where's Rocky?" "He must have got there early for some quick sexy time." "Early?" "No, Rocky doesn't go anywhere early." "Maybe he's broken up with her." "One of us needs to go in, just blend in, have a drink and see what the score is, have a drink, find Rocky, etc." "Have a drink." "Not you, Holli." "No offence, but I'm worried you'll just go in and get pissed." "Yeah, that's what I want to do." "You go, Saz." "The cool people hate me." "Plus, how can I go in there without a costume?" "That'd be so shaming." "I'll go but I don't want to go alone." "I could go with you." "Yes, yes." "You'd be less noticeable as a couple." "Oh, exciting!" "My first undercover mission." "OK, find Rocky and see what he's doing and if he looks like he's having fun and if he looks like he's missing me." "See if you can eavesdrop on what they're saying and memorise it word-for-word, especially if he's got a nickname for her and if he's naked, see if he's still got the tattoo of my name." "Right." "And bring me back a bottle of drink." "WKD, cherry flavour." "If they haven't got it, anything at all." "Right." "Amber, take this." "District 7, lumber." "District 7, lumber!" "District 7, lumber." "District 7, lumber." "District 7, lumber." "You've got so many." "Yeah." "It's surprising how many dead creatures there are around the place." "That's a pigeon." "Where's its head?" "A fox ate it." "I've got a video of that." "Oh, great!" "That little guy is a rat I just found lying in the gutter." "I'm guessing he died of natural causes." "I liked the quiet dignity of his tail." "Hmm, dignified." "That one's a crow." "Almost hidden under the snow, you can see its beak poking through, and the poignant angle of its feet?" "Fuck, it says everything that anyone would ever want to say about life and death." "Yeah, definitely." "Don't you ever take any pictures of animals that are alive?" "Oh, that's a nice one of a rabbit having a lovely sleep." "No, he's dead." "Can I ask you something, Josh?" "Is it cos of the car crash why you're so mental?" "How do you mean, mental?" "Obsessed with dead things." "How do you mean, obsessed with dead things?" "Well, mental." "District 7, lumber." "I guess most people would be mental if they killed all four of their grandparents." "Look, it might not have been my fault." "I blacked out, I don't know what happened." "You must think about it all the time." "They must haunt you." "Do they haunt you?" "Not really." "Is it like they're watching you?" "No." "District 7, lumber." "I feel nothing, nothing at all." "I'm dead inside." "I get like that sometimes." "When I get like that, I just turn on loud music and dance." "What the fuck?" "Have they even looked for Rocky?" "Amber is failing this mission at every level. 100% fail." "That was good." "Hmm." "It kind of felt..." "I don't know, it was..." "Oh, Josh!" "No, Josh!" "Just go away, Josh!" "If she puts down the plank, she can hit him." "She's supposed to be looking for Rocky." "I'm very disappointed." "And where's Gemma?" "We haven't even seen Gemma yet and it's her party." "Josh, no!" "Don't!" "No!" "No!" "Now that's taking advantage." "No way I'm letting Death Boy shag Amber." "Where are you going?" "I'm going in." "See if you can find Rocky." "What district are you from?" "It's going to be so shaming if Gemma's friends ask her what district she's from." "Don't!" "Josh, no!" "Stop it!" "Oh, my God!" "Look there." "The guy with the blackened face, mining, District 12." "Did you see him?" "No." "Where?" "Is it Rocky?" "Did you see Rocky?" "Well, was it Rocky?" "It's Joe." "I saw Joe!" "Oh, hun." "No, you didn't see Joe, he's still in Australia." "It was definitely him." "I know him, Viva, even with black over his face." "When you lose them, you imagine them everywhere." "It's like that with Rocky." "Once he was a dinner lady and he gave me an extra large sausage." "It wasn't some stupid hallucination, it was him!" "What's he doing here?" "Saz, it wasn't him." "Maybe my dream's come true and his cousin's got leukaemia!" "Not very badly." "Once they get Joe's bone marrow, they'll be fine." "I think you're losing your grip on reality, Saz." "I'm going to find Joe." "And look for Rocky." "Well?" "Did you hear me?" "I'm looking for a coal miner." "Has anyone seen a coal miner?" "What district are you from?" "Fuck off!" "Errh!" "Surprise!" "Hey!" "Hey." "You're back!" "How's it going?" "I didn't realise you'd be here." "How come you didn't tell me you were back?" "I can't believe you didn't tell me." "It's been so long since you've emailed." "Did you lose my email address and my phone and..." "No, that doesn't happen in real life." "You can't have lost everything." "Were you going to surprise me?" "Why didn't you tell me, Joe?" "Well, we're only here for a couple of weeks." "Two weeks?" "We've got a whole two weeks together, that's amazing!" "Well, actually, we've been here two weeks already." "Going home tomorrow." "Why, Joe?" "Why?" "WHY?" "WHY?" "Come on, Saz." "We couldn't do the long distance thing, you know that, really." "Why?" "It's good to see you, Saz, honestly." "Why did you do this to me, Joe?" "You are looking so pretty." "What district are you supposed to be from, eh?" "Just tell me why." "OK, I'll tell you why." "Your e-mails, four or five every day, nine on one day." "Long, long e-mails asking lots of questions." "Many of them with attachments that were spreadsheets charting your emotions." "That's just what a person does when they like someone." "The letter poem you wrote to my mum and dad." ""Dear Bryan and Sue, let me introduce myself to you." ""I'm that very special someone who's been making love to your son."" ""And I'm heartbroken cos you took my Joe to Oz."" "I thought it was cute." "The big jumper you knitted me with our initials on." "I thought that was cute." "The collage you made me out of your own hair, that I only got recently because it was held up in customs for months being analysed." "Your DNA is probably on some Australian database of psycholoonies now." "But I thought you loved my hair." "On your head!" "I love it on your head, not hacked off in clumps and glued to a mood board." "I was fucking scared out of my mind, Saz." "I thought you'd be popping up at any minute." "I had to stop e-mailing you." "Sorry." "No hard feelings?" "Viva!" "Rocky." "What are you doing here?" "Oh, you know." "You gone all Bear Grylls on my ass, living in a bush, feeding on beetles?" "No." "I just, you know..." "Interesting hat." "Yeah." "What district are you supposed to be from?" "Come on, vampire district, innit!" "Vampire district?" "There isn't a vampire district." "Did you get it mixed up with Twilight?" "Oh, did I?" "Yeah, maybe." "Why do you keep changing the subject?" "What are you doing here?" "What are you doing here?" "It's my girlfriend's party." "So she's definitely your girlfriend, then?" "Oh, shit." "Is that why you're here?" "Cos you realise you still like me?" "That's tragic timing on your part, Badges." "I didn't say I still liked you." "Your face told me." "If you'd come to me any time before 2.15pm yesterday, which was when Gemma and I first..." "Oh, my God." "I don't cheat on girls, ever." "That is a mantra that I live by, unless it's special circumstances of being so trashed, I don't know what I'm doing." "Then I give myself a bit of leeway." "Rocky?" "Hey, hun, you all right?" "Is that Viva Bennett down there with you?" "All her mates have crashed my party." "I'm really sorry." "You can pretend it's not me." "Yeah, I know it's you, Viva." "I can actually see you and hear you." "Leave Rocky alone, yeah?" "He's with me now." "Fine, have him." "I don't even want him any more." "And anyway, he's still got my name tattooed on his chest." "My name! "Viva Forever!" So there!" "I wish everyone would just fucking cheer up." "So he's been here for two weeks undercover, avoiding me, not contacting me, telling people in our school not to tell me he's here." "Wearing dark glasses and a hat." "Maybe I'm just being paranoid." "No, you're not being paranoid." "That's exactly what he's done." "Who'd have thought that Joe would turn out to be a big, lying bastard and that Rocky would just go off with another girl, and that Brandon would turn out to be the best boyfriend of them all?" "Brandon who slept with your sister?" "Yeah, talking of Brandon, if he ever finds out you touched Amber's boob, he will proper shank you in the neck." "It's what I deserve." "Aw, don't worry." "If he ever does find out, I'll just tell him about your mental problems." "Hi, how was the party?" "It was fun." "Where's my dad?" "He's working, which is why I'm a bit worried, Viva, because I need to get to the hospital now." "Straightaway." "Why?" "What's the matter?" "Is there a problem?" "Oh, no, no." "There's no problem, I'm just... ow!" "OW!" "OW!" "OW!" "But it's not due yet!" "OW!" "OW!" "OW!" "OW!" "OW!" "OW!" "She's having a contraction." "I know all about it from Call The Midwife." "We need to ring someone up, they cycle over here in a cape and pull out the baby." "I'll ring my dad." "No, I've already done that." "He's gone out to a fire." "You have to get me to a hospital!" "I can drive you." "Death Boy?" "Oh, fuck!" "You'd better not kill me, Death Boy, that's all I'm saying." "He won't." "Oh, I can't get the seatbelt round my bump." "Right, don't worry." "Josh is going to get us there really fast." "Not too fast, we don't want an accident." "Yeah, you don't want any more blood on your hands, Death Boy!" "He blacked out." "It wasn't even his fault!" "Probably." "And stop calling him Death Boy!" "Sometimes a nickname just sticks." "Yeah, like you was called Tarantula Face for the whole of Year 8." "It's a red light, Amber." "He has to stop." "Sorry, just nervous." "Oh, oh, I can feel another one coming." "OW!" "OW!" "OW!" "OW, OW, OW, OW, OW!" "Oh, I think my waters are breaking!" "Oh, sorry, Death Boy." "I think your upholstery's permanently fucked!" "At least it's not the bodies of his grandparents splattered all over the car." "That must have really messed up the seats." "It's OK, Josh." "You're OK." "Just don't listen." "Don't mind him, I'm the one about to give birth!" "It was my fault." "I remembered everything when Holli hit me with the plank." "I was annoyed because they said I was a bad driver so I decided to do a handbrake turn in the rain, to scare them." "I'm a murderer." "Oh, look, Josh." "We've all had fatal accidents that may or may not be our fault." "It's no biggie!" "Can't you have this little mental episode after you've got me to the hospital?" "Josh, listen, babe, we need to go." "You can do it - just keep it together for a few more minutes." "Right, time's up." "Get out." "Holli, we need him to drive us!" "I'll drive us." "Someone hold my vodka." "But she's been drinking!" "It's so illegal!" "I don't care about legal!" "Fuck legal!" "Just get me to the hospital!" "Bye, Josh." "Thanks for letting us borrow your car." "It's OK, I'll be careful." "I'll drive really, really slow and gentle, like I've got Gran and Granddad in the car and I don't want to scare them." "Not the most comforting comparison, Holli." "How are you doing, Anna?" "I'm not sure." "Can one of you girls grab a torch and just have a quick check on what's happening with my vagina?" "No problem." "Oh, my God, no!" "Amber!" "OW!" "OW!" "OW!" "Where the fuck is your dad, Viva?" "He must still be at the fire." "Oh, so you're going to have to be my birth partner." "Me?" "I can be it if you like, Miss Bitchcock." "I love babies, I've watched three of our dogs, two of our cats and one of my cousins have babies and I like goo." "There you go." "She'd be a much better birth partner than me." "Don't be a fucktard, Viva, you're family!" "I can call Jamie." "Let Jamie up close and personal with my vagina?" "You are joking!" "OK, if you're sure." "I'm sure." "Just take that horrible hat off." "Ow!" "Ow!" "OW!" "There are some funny-looking outfits at this hospital." "Isn't he the guy from..." "Look!" "Look who it is!" "Gemma's mates." "It must have all kicked off after we left." "Maybe there was a great big fight." "I knew we should have stayed." "Ow." "You did good, Viva." "She's so awesome." "Just amazingly beautiful." "Hmm, just like her mother." "I think she's the most beautiful baby ever born." "Oh, my God!" "I've just met her and I totally love her." "Oh, that's good, because you'll be doing shitloads of baby-sitting." "Don't you want to hold her, Jamie?" "One minute, I just need to clear this level." "Dad!" "Look." "Oh, wow." "Perfection." "She's pure perfection." "Yes, yes!" "I'm through to kill zone!" "Get over here, Jamie." "She's beautiful." "Anna was amazing, Dad." "Can you take a picture of us, please?" "Little Jellybean." "What happened?" "Are you all right?" "Yeah, I'm all right." "There was a fire." "Gemma's outfit got out of control." "Gemma's outfit?" "Oh, my God!" "Did she go as Katniss, "The girl on fire"?" "Fuck knows!" "All I know is, there was some stupid dangerous shit with lighter fuel." "Oh, no." "Was anyone hurt?" "Loads of people." "But nothing major." "Your dad was there." "That guy is my hero." "What about Gemma?" "Is she all right?" "She's in shock and her hair's pretty badly injured." "She's going to be in a wig for months." "That's awful." "So why are you here?" "Because of Anna." "Look." "Oh, my God!" "She's even cuter than you!" "Even cuter than me?" "That suggests you still think I'm cute." "What?" "Are you coming on to me again, Badges?" "Sometimes it's like you is a sex-mad stalker where I'm concerned." "No." "No." "Well, yeah." "Do you want to come and meet my baby sister?" "I think I've finished all her gas and air." "You is sick at the tango, Rob." "Hi, Brandon."