"Coming up on Backstage Passport..." "Oh... don't do it." "That's good times" "NOFX!" "NOFX!" "The band's late." "He wanders off." "What if he got, um, kidnapped." "We're in Singapore, the country you're not supposed to do any drugs in." "OH!" "AH!" "WOOOO!" "We're NOFX Screwing up since 1 983" "But these days we've got mortgages and families" "So we're going on a sketchy tour No country is too obscure" "We're gonna drink and golf and fight and snort." "We're NOFX This is Backstage Passport" "We've sold over 6 million records around the world and over 400,000 of those have been in Japan." "The show has 18,000 tickets sold in advance, so it will be our biggest headlining show ever." "Hi, we're NOFX and you're watching, "Your Doggie Style"" "So, how do you feel to come back to Japan?" "Did you miss anything?" "My favorite place in Japan is Shakey's Pizza." "Oh god." "What kind of a show are you going to bring us today?" "Mediocre." "Mediocre?" "Do you know what that means?" "Some bands give 100%." "We're gonna give 50%." "What's punk rock music to you?" "I'll answer that one." "Yes, please..." "Punk rock music is great music played by bad, drunk musicians." "Hello!" "Thank you, goodnight!" "Bye bye!" "Pretty much going out in Japan-you're gonna see stuff you've never seen before." "So we're walking around, having a good time and then we come up to this corner and we just, what's this?" "'" "Get back down!" "Beat him up some more!" "Back down you go!" "Hit him!" "Welcome to the best corner I've ever been to in my life." "Look!" "Japan's just like America now!" "What do we got, Rugly?" "Show me." "Well, we've got The Puker." "We've got Business Boozy." "And we've got, we've got, uh, Business Beater." "This is my kinda fun." "I love how he's, he's just on the phone while he's beating this guy up!" "And he was just PUMMELING this guy." "And the guy, he had like, one shoe off and he's in, he's in the flowers and we have our translator so she's explaining what they're saying." "And it's pretty funny..." "He's like, "Excuse me, I'm so sorry." "I'm in the middle of something right now."" "He said, "Oh, can you hold on one second?" "I'm here at the cross-station in front of the restaurant we were just at." "Um, yeah, sorry, can you meet me here?" he said." "Is that what he said?" "Uh huh!" "Shoes off, he's getting worked!" "Calm down." "But he can't calm down." "I have never been so entertained." "Aregato!" "Full entertainment." "Great entertainment value." "They may have had fun on the street corner, but we're gonna see the real dark side of Japan." "We're going to a place called uh, Osaka Jail." "It's a domination club and there's a bunch of dominatrixes and they beat you up." "Follow me!" "We're going to jail!" "Heyyyy!" "We walk in, wave hi to everybody and the first thing we see is some guy getting his ass beat." "She knows how to use a hand-look at that!" "And then we see a guy tied to a cross." "It's all pretty awesome and pretty intense." "And then they start the show, and these two girls that work there... one gets tied up and the other beats the HELL outta her." "And she WAS hitting her hard." "And then after that, we're sitting having a drink and the headmistress comes up to me." "What is she saying?" "Do you want to participate or do you just want to watch for a little bit?" "She was pretty scary so, I just pointed to Jay and said 'he'll do it!" "'" "They basically tied my chest, my hands behind me." "And uh, suspended me from the ceiling and then tied my feet." "Oh, you're fucked!" "They're burning candle wax on him and the mistress takes the candle and just puts it out right on his chest and he has this huge grin on his face." "I was thinking, "AHH!" and he was just," ""YEAAAH"." "Don't do it!" "Ughhh." "That's good times." "Mmm hmm." "Konicheekobawah!" "It's pretty painful." "But, yeah, I guess it's good pain." "So uh, how's the ass doing this morning?" "Can we check it out?" "Wanna check it out?" "Oh for sure." "Oh, who beat your ass?" "Mmhmm." "Nice relaxing evening." "Can I see?" "The one guy who wasn't having any fun in Japan was Kent-he had to work." "So we're in Japan and I find out from the promoter in Singapore that we have to have these visas for the band members or we're not getting into Singapore." "We really appreciate your help in this and I hope all goes well, our lives are in your hands..." "Hello?" "Sorry I couldn't hear you, there was some noise." "Great." "Thank you very much." "Bye, bye." "Seriously dude, fuck off." "He's stressed out, man." "He's dealing with so much bullshit and all of us and, you know, it's like managing a bunch of little kids from a softball team, you know?" "So it's really stressful and then I get a call from this promoter in Singapore and while I'm talking to him, the guys are throwing stuff at me and taunting me- as they like to do when I'm stressed out" "because they wanna se me die." "The biggest concern now is just getting into these countries." "The main problem is the fact that only the band and Jay Walker have work permits, so the guy's telling the rest of us to come in as tourists and I'm not willing to go and actually lie to authorities in these countries." "Ultimately, you know, I think lying to them directly and then going in and playing a show could land us all in jail." "Absolutely worried. 100%." "NOFX!" "NOFX!" "The band's late." "They lost Hefe." "What if he got, uh, kidnapped?" "I don't know what to do." "We've never played Singapore before and we have to get in." "I've been on the phone to the promoter." "I've been on the phone with the consulate and now I've got to take this off day and take a train back to Tokyo and secure these visas or we're not getting in." "Dontcha know, I'm going to Tokyo right now." "By myself!" "A roadblock is a task which only one member of the team may complete." "In this roadblock, one team member will go to Tokyo and secure visas for Malaysia." "The band, they don't even care." "They don't need me as far as they know...'til I'm gone." "AHHHH!" "And they never have to worry about anything because of me and they're very used to it." "One of my favorite times ever when Smelly was like, "Yeah, I don't know what you do."" "You know, Kent does so much that, in actuality, I don't really know what he does." "I really don't think the band recognize what I go through and the amount of stress I'm under and the amount of minute detail that I've got to scrutinize to get this stuff to actually happen." "Thank you very much." "I'm so fucking stoked." "MM!" "So it was a huge relief to finally have the Singapore visas and it was kind of triumphant, you know, because it was the next leg of the journey and an important one." "Jay:" "Yeah!" "Fuck yeah!" "We have returned!" "See how indispensable I am?" "You're not indispensable." "Oh, thanks." "What's indispensable mean?" "I don't know, but I'm not it." "Oh, I thought it meant 'despicable.'" "'You're not indispensable.' Thanks buddy, I appreciate it." "I don't think they quite get it, but I think they do appreciate it." "All I really want you guys to do is look at your new visas in your new passports." "Wow." "Cool." "Look at that." "Oh my god,they put a stamp that says, 'Trafficking of illegal drugs carries a death penalty.'" "Where?" "'Trafficking of illegal drugs will be punishable by death.'" "We get our visas back and there's a stamp in there and it has drug trafficking and it has death penalty in there, which uh, you don't want to see together, especially when you're a drug user." "I have Ambien and Rosarin..." "I have Ambien and Rosarin, but they both have prescriptions-and, and Valium." "Actually, I'm not nervous at all." "I got rid of all my drugs." "I seriously have very little doubt that if you get caught with a really small amount of some drug that you're not-nothing bad's gonna happen to you." "They make it pretty clear in the Singapore airport that you shouldn't bring drugs there." "SIGN READS:" "DRUG IS AGAINST THE LAW" "Bummer" "I worry." "Because this is a place where you get caned for chewing gum and I don't want anyone to go to jail for doing drugs in Singapore for the rest of their lives." "So we have lobby call in Singapore to go down to the show to perform the sold out concert and uh Hefe's nowhere to be found." "Well I dunno, we had a miscommunication with Hefe over dinner and we had to leave by... 8:30 would have been good." "NOFX!" "NOFX!" "The band's late." "They lost Hefe." "They just, we just got a message that they lost Hefe." "Hefe always does this kind of shit." "He knows we play at 9 or he should know that at least." "NOFX!" "NOFX!" "NOFX!" "NOFX!" "He wanders off, so uh, yeah, we have no Mexican." "Camera:" "Any theory about what might have happened to him?" "Shiny light somewhere?" "Big red button?" "Follow the light!" "Shiny red button!" "And he doesn't show up." "No way to reach him." "Nothing I can do but freak out and worry and stress and pace." "Go look for him in Singapore?" "I don't think so." "What if he got, um, kidnapped?" "What's he gonna do?" "He's gonna stand in one spot and just go, 'someone, someone find me!" "'" "NOFX!" "NOFX!" "NOFX!" "NOFX!" "Showtime shows up." "Nobody's there so I, you know, talk to the crowd a little bit 'cause at some point, if they turn on you, then you're hosed because there's thousands of them and only a couple of us so, it can get, you know, real ugly real fast." "Hey, there was a problem picking up the guys, but um, they'll be here any second so just be patient and ...we're all ready so as soon as they get here it'll be fine, okay?" "Cool." "Meanwhile we have no idea, so it might be an hour, who knows?" "I don't know what to do...." "We're in Singapore." "The country you're not supposed to do any drugs in." "OH!" "WOOO!" "AHHH!" "I've never been so messed up in my whole life." "We're still at the hotel." "It's five minutes after we're supposed to go on." "The venue's packed and Hefe's still nowhere to be found." "NOFX!" "NOFX!" "NOFX!" "NOFX!" "Camera:" "Have we talked to the venue?" "Is he not there?" "I talked to Smelly to be sure." "I texted him and said we lost him." "NOFX!" "NOFX!" "NOFX!" "NOFX!" "I just ate Kenny Roger's Roastis-eer-ee." "Had half a chicken, corn on the cob, mashed potatoes, corn bread, honey baked beans it's delicious." "Hefe shows up five minutes after we're supposed to be on stage, he has no idea he's late, and he's got a fucking cookie." "Can I say fucking?" "What the hell happened to you?" "I had Kenny Roger's Roastisuhree chicken.." "KENT:" "We're on at nine." "HEFE:" "What time is it?" "Five after nine." "We're getting there just in time to play." "Actually, we're getting there about 1 5 minutes too late to be on stage so we have to get out of this van and get right on stage." "Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go!" "If it ain't one fucking thing it's another." "I swear to God, we're the most dysfunctional organization there is." "I was coffee drinking and I don't have a watch." "I didn't keep track of what time it was." "You know, it's really hard to find a Mexican in Singapore." "It's not my fault, I swear." "It was my manager." "Bye bye people!" "I like Singapore!" "Since you can be put to death for drugs in Singapore, we though it'd be the perfect place to score some." "Buying drugs in Singapore." "Who says it can't be done?" "But we never really found out what they were." "I don't know what this is." "We're in Singapore the country you're not supposed to do any drugs in-and I'm gonna do green, right here." "OHHH!" "Is it that bad?" "It's fine." "I feel photosynthesis..." "This is a green tea...ice...cream..." "I'm seriously like...seven semi trucks are hitting me right now like this, but they're made of marshmallows." "WOOOOOO!" "Please don't die." "I can usually handle myself pretty well, but I was not here." "I was on some other plane." "So, calling Melvin wasn't something that I normally do..." "Just talk to me buddy." "Buddy?" "You have to help me." "Don't do any of this shit, because, I need someone to not do any of it." "You're my friend right?" "You're my best friend." "Just come down for a second. 928." "Give him my room key..." "Just for a second!" "Come down!" "AHHH!" "I just wanted to go to sleep." "But mike wasn't going to let me do that." "Buddyyyy." "I could hear outside my door, Mike's voice, "Bro..."" "Bro!" ""Broooo"" "Mel-bro..." "But I just put the pillow over my head and tried to go back to sleep." "Let me know you don't wanna party, I'm good..." "I don't think it was drugs..." "I think it was, chlorophyll." "Some kind of photosynthesis, chlorophyll..." "I couldn't sleep." "I just got up." "Got dressed and went down to Mike's room." "Thank you!" "I kept telling him not to call you buddy." "What's wrong with you?" "KENT:" "He needed you." "He just had to give me a big hug and I could tell he needed a hug." "We kinda take care of each other like that, really." "I'm FUCKED." "When you came up to me in 1 985 and said "Mike, help me." "I smoked PCP..." that's me." "That's you now?" "I need someone who's based in reality." "Ok...you're gonna be all right..." "The cops..." "That's a foreboding knock...who is it?" "Is there more?" "Where'd everybody go?" "There's more..." "You should really do half a line because if you don't, I WILL because, OH MY GOD" "I was made out of RUBBER and I was ten million miles high!" "It was SO good!" "KENT:" "The initial impact..." "MIKE:" "Just thanks for coming down here..." "Oh my god..." "MIKE:" "Don't...don't...don't..." "Then it's fine...and once it's fine it's really fine...it's so FINITE!" "I didn't even do..." "I did half of that..." "It doesn't even hurt." "DON'T finish it..." "DON'T finish it!" "I brought you to help me..." "In this case I needed someone that I've known for a long time to kinda bring me down." "And, he pats me on the shoulder and says, 'you're gonna be all right Mike...now where's my line?" "'" "You just made the worst choice of you life, so you have to hang with us 'cause we're your buddies." "Act normal when we get downstairs everyone, all the time." "Michael, especially you, because you're the one that acts the least normal." "I know." "But I've never been this wasted in my whole life." "Here we are riding the green dragon, in one of the scariest places in the world to get caught doing drugs and we're about to go out in public so I've gotta lay down some ground rules." "You guys, you guys, I have an important announcement to make!" "You can't talk about it at all!" "You can't say drugs." "Everyone speaks English." "Don't say drugs, don't say high, don't say green, don't say martian..." "Don't say anything weird!" "You're drunk!" "JAY:" "That's true, he's gotta point..." "Doing drugs probably wasn't the smartest, but how many people get to ride the green dragon in Singapore?" "What'd you guys do last night?" "It was called the Green Dragon." "What the fuck's the Green Dragon?" "We didn't know what it was..." "The first rule of the green dragon is you don't talk about the green dragon."