"Hail Hanuman, ocean of wisdom, who is well known in all the three worlds." "Congratulations, it's a boy." "Congratulations, it's a girl." "If A is greater than zero, and Y is greater than or equal to K, then K is the lowest point." "And if A is lesser than zero then Y is lesser than or equal to K, that means K is the highest point." "My guru, Dr. Ramamurthy is of the opinion that the language is different now, for instance, instead of anti-derivatives, we say potential functions." "instead of derivatives, we say divergence, and KerL" "All right, that's it for today." "But, sir, can you give one more example, please?" "Yes, of course." "Just..." "Exciting, isn't it?" "Yes, sir!" "Okay, see you guys tomorrow." "Shit!" "Miss Kapoor, has called you an emerging voice in modern art." "Any comments?" "You know, when people don't understand something, they call it "Modern Art."" "Actually, this series is modern, but the inspiration is ancient." "I got this idea two years ago" "Sorry." "Actually, someone asked me a question on divergence at the end of the class" "Two hours?" "Two hours?" "Actually, two and half." "I'm sorry." "I had an opening, buddy." "Sorry, DK." "Whoever calls his girlfriend "DK"?" "It sounds like a name of a villain." "Your name is Diya Kapoor, hence DK, lovingly..." "Sorry." "Stupid." "This stupid is feeling hungry." "Should we order something?" "Butter chicken, butter bread, butter cottage cheese." "Thank you." "Extra butter." "You know, we're like an old married couple." "Yeah, exactly." "Which is why I was thinking... about our life." "So, imagine this..." "One day, you will be a brilliant professor." "And I... a world famous artist." "And we'll have a beautiful house." "And babies too." "I was thinking... two, or may be three, who will take after me." "And we'll be so happy that you'll say every evening..." ""I love my life." "And..." "I love my... wife."" "So, basically, all I'm trying to say is..." "Will you marry me?" "Take your time." "Tell me tomorrow." "Or maybe next week." "But 21.73 percent marriages end in divorce." "Yeah, but..." "We can be the 80 percent, right?" "78.27." "What?" "Will something change?" "Did you say we're already like an old married couple." "What can change?" "Hanumanji..." "You pray?" "Daily." "Good." "You must." "Both Hanumanji and I have taken good care of Diya." "And after these many years, it's my turn." "Really?" "How?" "What have you in mind to keep Diya happy?" "You know Uncle, I'm a professor with a secure job." "Recently I've submitted a paper in Cambridge." "Cambridge?" "Yeah." "Son, forget about England." "I've been there and done that." "What's there?" "Obviously, there was Annie, whom I brought along." "But Uncle, for my work" "No, son, no." "It's not the question of your life alone." "You need to think about Diya too." "Think about it, Diya has a British passport." "She could've gone if she wanted." "She didn't, why?" "Why?" "It's damn cold out there." "It's raining all the time for no good reason." "And population is so less that you feel terribly lonely." "And here, it's people everywhere." "Hustle and bustle." "That's why, Diya will stay here." "This means you will also have to settle here." "I beg your pardon." "It's done, settled." "Oh, come on, let's shake hands at least." "Welcome to the family, my son." "Uncle" "You've been calling me Uncle for many years now." "From now on, it's Papa." "Okay, Uncle..." "Papa." "Papa" "Should I share some good news?" "I've planned snow for the wedding." "Snowfall in Delhi." "It's a theme, son." "But Diya was saying that it'll be a small, unassuming ceremony." "Yes, absolutely, only close family and friends." "Only nearest and dearest." "And... snow." "It's marriage time." "Aunty, it's a happy time." "Please, say something to the camera." "Now?" "Yes." "So, I always wanted a daughter after Jai came along." "Instead, I had Tarun and he looked cute in a frock for only a few years." "Mom, stop it." "So, anyways... then I had to make do with boys." "But Diya, you are my daughter, not a daughter-in-law." "The one I always wanted." "Mr." "Kapoor, look this side." "Oh, crap." "Anne, yes." "Hello, I'm Vinod Kapoor, Chairman of Everclear Industries." "She's my dear wife, Annie." "Anne." "Camera's rolling, say something." "I just wanna thank India for giving us" "Yoga, Golgappas and Jai." "Why can't we run away and marry." "I can use this money for Vedic Maths Research." "Happy couple, say to camera." "When he was studying mathematics," "I was cracking the formula of spending entire life with him." "And now that I've found the answer" "I'm finding it hard to believe it." "What's happening?" "Stop it, man." "Kishore, no cheap whiskey for Mr. son-in-law." "Only Blue Label." "Yes, drink up." "Yeah." "Bottom's up, my son." "You're my son-in-law, damn it." "See." "Damn, what happened?" "I'll call mom." "Wait a minute." "Diya." "Don't look so sad." "Your dad handed me a rice grain." "Baby, can't believe it." "Dad had got it made in Germany." "Germany?" "Entire Hanuman Chalisa is written over it." "Papa loves it." "Keep it safe." "Tomorrow, we'll put it in a locker." "Okay." "Okay?" "How handsome he is." "May the evil eye stay away." "Take it easy, Mister." "Mother, why is everyone going bonkers over the marriage?" "I don't wanna do all this." "Don't take out the frustration of the thesis paper on the wedding dress." "Come on." "Please carry on, Mister." "Be gentle." "Yes, sir." "Hurry up, man." "Good morning." "Good morning." "Greetings." "Hello." "Hello, sir." "This is for you." "Yes, no, no, I'm good." "Excuse me." "Hello, hi, hi." "Yeah, yeah, I need to go to the bathroom." "Just a second." "Jai, son." "Yes, aunt?" "Hello." "Jai, Jai, Jai." "How can I thank you for this?" "Have you become a house husband here?" "It's you who's marrying and it's me who's gonna get laid." "These ladies are going crazy." "This marigold necklace is making them lusty." "Who is it this time?" "Suman." "Her body feels like that of sister-in-law, Sarita's." "So you're Jai?" "Congrats, I'm Suman, from Jaipur." "Suman." "Recognize me?" "No." "How can you?" "You were this tiny back then." "And now, a wedding boy?" "Oh, my, my." "Gyming and all?" "Excuse me?" "So, Tarun..." "Jai, will you have tea?" "No, thank you." "Hi." "This is too much, since morning" "What's 56 multiplied by 93?" "5208." "God, kiss me." "Sister, mother is calling you." "Tell her I'm coming." "Where were we?" "In this asylum." "What's this?" "Is it necessary?" "Jai, it's our wedding." "And yes, it's necessary." "For me, for my family." "Instead of getting irritated, just try and enjoy the moment." "Enjoy?" "It seems entire North India has descended on our wedding." "And taken over the entire house, where's the space to enjoy?" "Why are you always focused on bad stuff?" "It's a simple thing." "We love each other and today, right now, we're happy." "Isn't that enough?" "Just a second!" "Shake up." "Shake it up." "Jai is here." "Jai is here." "Jai, come here." "Yes." "Just try this one on." "Yes, okay, hello." "No, but that one is so..." "How about that?" "Hello?" "Hello, Jai, Dr. Ramamurthy speaking." "Aunty, give me one minute." "We read your paper." "On Vedic Mathematics." "You really like my thesis?" "We want to offer you a fellowship and a job of assistant professor." "The impact of Vedic Mathematics on space travel." "Exactly, Jai." "The answers to the future lie in the past." "So, are you coming?" "Diya, be careful." "Actually, sir, my wedding is in two days." "Why are you talking to me then?" "Prepare for the wedding, we'll talk later." "Hey, so you admit defeat, rascal?" "Rascal, it's you?" "Rascal, it's me." "Raj." "How are you?" "Good looking looking good." "How was the flight?" "You don't feel much in first class." "I was in the lounge, not shopping for cheap duty-free perfumes like those NRIs of London." "But you are an NRI from London." "Jai!" "Jai!" "Hey, what's up?" "How are you, mister?" "How else might I be?" "You married this jackass, I had to settle for Diya." "You never asked, so, had to marry this jackass." "Oh, thank you." "What happened?" "You're okay?" "Actually, man, want these two days to get over fast, my brain is fried." "Just the ceremony will end after two days." "You'll have to bear the marriage for life." "Isn't it?" "Now I remember why I didn't marry her." "Depressing woman." "Eight hours of flight, and the fuss over excess baggage can make anyone depressed." "But there's no fuss in first class over baggage." "But there is one in economy." "Okay, I'll go meet Diya." "Bad jet lag, man, doesn't even know which class she flew in." "You guys happy post-marriage?" "Yeah." "Just like the people in Tihar are happy." "Anyway, I wanted to tell you something." "I just got a call from Cambridge." "Shut up, and?" "I wanna decide whether or not should I shift my base." "Jai!" "Tough one." "Panditji is here." "Come quickly." "Be right there." "Diya." "Well said." "Sorry, Varshaji, there's a couple in London whom I married." "Very good." "Where's the groom, call him." "He must be coming." "Will he reach theon time?" "I hope the auspicious moment doesn't pass before he arrives." "Here he is." "Panditji, can you please give both of them a primer on marriage ceremony." "Just a second, before that could you... tell me why can't we make three circumambulations instead of seven?" "I mean, till then bar won't be open." "He's kidding, Panditji, sorry." "Now both of you shall walk seven times around the fire." "Every round signifies an oath." "Promise." "First oath... is to respect each other for life." "Second oath is to support each other." "And the third oath is to espouse a right way of living." "Now, the fourth oath." "To live a peaceful and happy life based on love and faithfulness." "Fifth is to seek good, not just for yourself but for entire cosmos." "Sixth oath..." "In the changing seasons of life..." "And then, seventh round." "The seventh oath." "With mutual consensus, an oath to live a life of devotion." "Seven circumambulations." "Seven oaths." "For seven lifetimes." "For seven lifetimes." "If this all is true then why do divorces happen?" "People aren't happy even after circumambulations." "Your promises and oaths don't make marriages." "Your rituals are so old that there's no logic in them." "If only logic could explain everything." "I understand only those things that require logic." "Fine." "If you want you can apply your logic to the circumambulations." "But every step you take here on, can you know what it will be?" "This logic of yours is good for classrooms and banks." "How to be happy while keeping others happy isn't a job of a calculator." "Nothing's impossible for my mind." "I've no time, hurry up, please." "Right hand." "Come with me, I'll show you something." "Surprise!" "Do you like it?" "What's this?" "A house." "Our house." "Did your father buy it?" "He helped a little." "What happened?" "Didn't like it?" "When did you take this decision?" "Baby..." "I've taken all the decisions since we we're eight." "So, does that mean you'll make a habit of it?" "What?" "This is exactly the problem." "I can't think for myself." "Everything happens according to your wishes." "Okay." "What do you want?" "Definitely, not this." "Okay, fine." "If you don't like this house, we'll check some other out." "I'll just call papa and ask him what to do." "We don't need papa for everything." "I've decided that we'll shift to Cambridge." "I've have an offer and I have to go." "What?" "No." "I don't want to go, what will we do there?" "Jai, our entire family's here and we're so happy here." "I'm not." "I don't want this house and this life." "What problem do you have with our life?" "This house, this marriage, you want this all." "Me?" "Baby, we both want these things." "We've always wanted the same things." "No." "I want to move up in life and focus on my career." "And not on me?" "I'm sorry, DK, but I have bigger dreams." "I've always supported your dreams." "Your dreams can also be fulfilled here with me." "It's not necessary to go to Cambridge." "It is necessary." "I need to go." "If you don't want to, then don't come with me." "Why are you talking like this?" "Because we're not eight-year-olds." "Today, we both want different things, end of story." "So if we don't agree on something means the end of story?" "Do you know what you're talking about?" "Baby, we can talk about it, okay?" "Later." "Later when?" "After the marriage?" "When I'm trapped between you and your dad?" "I wanna live my life." "You wanna leave me?" "I just wanna escape all of this right now, that's all." "I can't deal with this shit." "And in future" "Future?" "But I'm your present." "Right here in front of you." "You can't even look at your present." "Instead, you wanna chase a future nobody's seen." "But I can surely plan for it." "I'm sorry, Diya." "I don't think I can do this." "Jai, if I leave here," "I'll never come back." "Jai." "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" "Thailand?" "Excuse me?" "Good morning." "My name is Jai Verma, can you tell me how I got here?" "Okay, tell me something..." "Tell when I checked in?" "Okay, I can help you with that." "Mr. Jai Verma, checked in yesterday." "on 23rd of February." "Ten days!" "I'm sorry." "But I was in Delhi last night." "Should I call for a doctor, sir?" "Diya, thank God." "Where were you?" "When did you got married?" "This is something." "Asking on a honeymoon when did I marry." "How will you remember the anniversary?" "Champagne." "Hello, ma, don't shout, this isn't a trunk call." "Are you taking the photos?" "You won't have time for these things when you have kids." "Ma, listen to me, something has happened to me." "I can't seem to remember." "I'm calculating but to no avail." "I don't know" "You're calculating?" "Please, don't calculate on honeymoon." "Now, go with Diya and have fun, bye." "Hello?" "Ma?" "Have fun?" "What?" "Diya, Diya!" "Yes?" "When did I resign from college?" "You don't remember when you resigned?" "That's exactly the problem, I can't remember anything." "Ten days, what happened in last ten days?" "Jai, why are you behaving like a lunatic?" "I told you last night, don't drink so much of champagne." "You can't handle it." "And baby, if you're not feeling well, drink Jello soup." "Why are you ruining my honeymoon?" "Honeymoon?" "Everybody say," "Say it." "" "What's the square root of 3,40,000?" "583.09." "One more." "Do you love me?" "Yes." "Why?" "Because you're my wife now." "How strange it is that we're husband and wife." "Everything seems strange today." "Mr. Verma" "Will you live with Mrs. Verma for next 60 years?" "Yes, ma'am." "Of course." "Wake up, Jai." "I have to do everything."