"The Sinner" "Bottoms up!" "Now it's done..." "Really done..." "I tried so long to prevent it" "But now it's done..." "We stayed until the end..." "You're going to die and I'm responsible..." "Was there no other way?" "Or was I wrong?" "My God!" "I'm going mad..." "Calm..." "Stay quite calm..." "Keep my thoughts clear..." "If..." "I knew why I did it..." "I didn't want to leave you..." "You wanted to end it back then in Italy ...along with that pain." "We were at Positano... and you were screaming:" "Enough!" "Yes... even back then, you wanted to end it... along with that unbearable suffering." "But I was sure there was another solution..." "I cried, I begged you!" "Don't lose hope, I'll sell your paintings!" "Your fishing boats... that you painted thousands of times." "I insisted, I insisted..." "Always the same thing:" "Wait until tomorrow evening..." "I'll sell the painting in Naples." "I was sure I could!" "Yes..." "I'd sell it!" "Whatever it takes!" "The most ridiculous paintings sell!" "But in Naples..." "The first dealer recognised its quality - no doubt there... but he didn't have a clientele for that style of painting..." "Up to No. 7 who just laughed in my face:" "No way!" "..." "Those colours would make you seasick!" "That's what he said about you." "Then the fifteenth or sixteenth... has straight out spat on the painting!" "With the comment:" "Stupido!" "I was in despair..." "Yet another shop!" "The twenty-fifth..." "It was like an abyss... that I was throwing myself into..." "But nothing mattered anymore..." "There was this guy..." "I realised right off that he was attracted to me." "I tried to explain the painting to him" "The style of the painter..." "But he wasn't looking at the painting..." "All he said to me was:" ""Che amore... "" "I was wondering exactly what he wanted..." "Finally... his eyes were glinting..." "with that leer I knew so well..." "He could have been an octopus sliding towards its victim..." "Again whispering in my ear:" ""Che amore"..." "He offered me a good price for the painting." "Only..." "I had to be a little bit "nice" to him." "I shuddered in disgust..." "But I gritted my teeth..." "I simply couldn't return empty-handed!" "I remembered the previous night." "It took a lot of effort, and a strong sleeping pill..." "And all night while you were sleeping..." "I was at your bedside... watching over you... my eyes fixed on you." "Then I also fell asleep." "The next day, you were already up... and you were searching for something like a man possessed." "But the pistol wasn't there..." "I'd made sure it was well hidden." "Give it to me!" "I need it!" "Darling..." "I can't..." "I have to have it!" "Right now!" "In the end, he only paid half..." "Because the painting was..." "according to him... pretty bad." "That made me worth half." "The important thing was..." "I didn't feel anything, experience anything." "Besides... what was it anyway?" "I stumbled in the mud..." "that was all!" "You see?" "You and your black thoughts..." "You who didn't know how to paint any more..." "This calls for a celebration!" "We're entitled to a small drink..." "What do you say?" "To you... yes!" "But it's not the wine that made me happy" "My God!" "I was forgetting everything..." "Even when we first met..." "In a bar... in Munich." "Thanks!" "What's up?" "..." "Worried I'll upset your customers?" "You were already well-known here..." "This wasn't the first such episode." ""He's come down in the world" So the barman said to me..." "Miserable wretch." "It was a story for all to laugh at:" "A once-promising talent supported by a rich wife." "A year of success..." "and then alcohol took over... with rejection from all..." "including his wife." "I heard your name for the first time:" "Alexander Kless." "My escort wasn't laughing." "He didn't even turn 'round." "Suddenly I was outraged." "To treat a human being like that!" "But how could I help?" "What could I do?" "I turned to Ricardo, my escort..." "What are you smiling at?" "I can see your emotions are getting the better of you." "I'm really surprised that you'd still have any!" "But it was quite obvious..." "I'll wait for you..." "What'd you do with that guy just now?" "Get me a cab." "You want to put that guy in a taxi?" "I better warn you:" "He doesn't have a cent on him." "Better if the police pick him up." "His wife's not waiting for him at home!" "Nobody wants him!" "That painter again!" "Give me a hand with him!" "I didn't have a clue what to do." "I figured on giving some money to the cabbie." "No... that wouldn't do..." "you could finish up worse off." "So, where to then?" "36A Gerolsteiner St." "36A Gerolsteiner St." "My own address." "But what possessed me?" "To take you back to my place!" "Where did I get such an idea?" "I was being stupid..." "Should I stop the taxi?" "What could possibly be your attraction?" "That face of yours... would scare anyone!" "Yes, I was scared of you!" "You'd wake up angry, lost... confused... desperate." "There was only one thing for certain:" "You'll clear out first thing in the morning!" "He'll be out of here in the morning." "I'm going to change." "I'll use the bathroom." "Twenty minutes gone already!" "No time to change!" "Got to get back:" "Ricardo's waiting for me!" "Simple solution..." "I'll lock him in!" "But I had no idea... that you'd be staying at my place for good..." "And that Ricardo was going to lose his bet... that I wouldn't come back to him." "We'll make it a raffle!" "They all froze..." "Only Ricardo beamed..." "A picture of him that was unforgettable..." "The last one... of a long line." "With him, came the end to a life that I can no longer understand today." "It was next morning... about midday..." "And you still hadn't woken up." "I sat there, watching your face." "I tried to figure out your age:" "Forties..." "Forty-six perhaps." "In fact I was 10 years out..." "You were 36." "Alexander Kless..." "Alexi..." "I want to relive that morning." "and the whole year following that I lived with you... and even the torments that went along with... the whole of our story... the whole of our hell." "I'd like to relive them one more time." "I wasn't very encouraging..." "I was unpleasant..." "I wanted to get rid of you quickly." "You irritated me, even disgusted me." "You must have noticed it..." "You were disgusted with yourself." "Beautiful Samaritan..." "My sincere regards..." "My name is..." "It doesn't matter..." "Call me Hangover." "You see, dear lady..." "I'm a real bum." "Long homeless..." "No master... no mistress..." "I always have my leash on but the SPCA found me inappropriate for its services." "Pity." "There are enough shelters anyway." "Could I...?" "Thank you!" "Again I asked myself..." "Firstly about me..." "Why am I letting things just happen?" "I thought about the night before." "Is this really possible?" "One man, probably from a good family... and this other one, this wreck, this alcoholic?" "And me..." "Why am I concerned?" "What right do I have?" "Am I better than him?" "Aren't I much the same:" "Lost... adrift?" "I come from a good family too... from Danzig..." "My mother remarried when my father died..." "Hernsdorf was his name..." "von Hernsdorf." "Manager of a big company..." "Headquarters:" "Hamburg." "He showered me with presents." "He wanted me to call him "Daddy"." "But I found that painful." "He already had a son:" "Edward..." "A spoiled brat." "Then in 1939, at the start of the year," "Daddy decided to sell up in Danzig." "War was coming..." ""Total madness", he used to say." "I liked it in Hamburg." "A beautiful area, right on the banks of the Alster." "We lived in a large villa..." "Very beautiful... just like in Danzig." "A grand lifestyle..." "Just as before." "All that was missing was the flag..." "My step-father didn't want to have it..." "He loathed the new regime... and that eventually cost him his position." "In the end, we finished up here:" "in a dreary suburb of Hamburg, in a small apartment of one and a half rooms." "This is where we'd stay." "I was 13 then... and I was useful around the house." "My step-father's borrowings had eaten up all his capital." "My half-brother Edward was hard to put up with..." "He resented having to polish his own shoes." "My mother was the only one always happy." "I loved her very much." "She went out every evening... always dressed in expensive clothes." "Her husband didn't dare ask who was paying for them..." "But deep down he knew without having to ask." "There was always an expensive car downstairs..." "Not always the same one..." "My 16 year old step brother thought himself a man." "He never spoke to me." "Like "Daddy", he listened to London." "Not for the news..." "for the jazz." "My step father detested it." ""Jatz" as he called it." "But it was London." "But what he didn't allow, was for me to go on sharing a room with Eduard..." ""They're too grown up now", he said." "So I shared with my mother... which suited me quite well..." "I felt quite ill at ease with Edward." "At that time I was quite innocent..." "I thought it was because there wasn't enough light." "In the evenings there was often an exodus..." "Mummy went out, Edward went out and I stayed home alone with "Daddy"." "I tried to do my homework..." "I still remember it..." "Homer and the Greek gods..." "All those gods you're interest in..." "Yes... if I was really interested... you wouldn't've had to explain so many things to me." "One evening, the door swung open..." "Edward had forgotten to close the street door..." "Gestapo!" "Come with us, please!" "I still don't know today, who and why." "He gently stroked my neck... and I felt his anxiety." "I found myself alone... with a feeling of danger." "The room seemed so empty... unsettling... like a cavern..." "But I refused to be scared." "I decided to go and look through my mother's things... something she'd forbidden me to do... but, understandably..." "I already had a taste for beautiful clothes..." "Now I fully realised it!" "After all..." "I thought... she's still young and beautiful..." "Men pay for her company... and what does it cost her?" "Virtually nothing..." "I had a pretty good idea what might be involved." "But did it really matter?" "She wouldn't have been as happy as she was, if..." "These thoughts appealed to me... as a child..." "But I wouldn't be a child much longer." "I didn't realise... that these beautiful clothes took away something essential..." "My childhood." "Take it easy!" "Very pretty..." "This is it..." "I thought..." "I'm going to learn everything..." "The things we talk about..." "Love!" "I used to imagine something sublime..." "Now I was seeing nothing more than this boy pulling me by the arm..." "The door opened with a squeak... which surprised me at that moment." "A leap into the unknown... full of mystery." "Yes... it was purely out of curiosity that I submitted like that." "My brain took note of everything that happened..." "Yes..." "My heart did beat a little faster..." "But was that..." "love?" "I was not afraid." "I was feeling nothing." "I was disappointed... but my curiosity was satisfied." "And I did learn about something... the power that I had so easily acquired over him..." "He was giving..." "I was taking." "He was giving..." "I was taking." "A simple rule." "That I followed ever after." "Up until you stepped through my door again." "Come in!" "Two days after that morning when you woke up at my place." "I hadn't demanded you leave, you didn't beg to stay." "You stared at the room... a little embarrassed..." "I was a bit embarrassed too." "We were afraid of each other..." "Yes, I've come to pay you back..." "I just made a sale:" "good customer, a beautiful piece!" "And I said to myself..." "It can't go on like this..." "Well I have to..." "I can't... without paying you a rent..." "So... take it." "It's out of the question!" "And then..." "I realized..." "I was dealing with a good man..." "And I was going to let him go." "It was obvious..." "I couldn't accept your money..." "But little by little I foresaw the consequences:" "the return to the street..." "and oblivion." "You were leaving..." "without knowing where to go." "My heart missed a beat." "It was obvious..." "I was your refuge and yet I rejected you." "No..." "I have to call you back right away... by your first name..." "for the first time..." "Alexander!" "No, no." "No heartfelt compassion... please!" "Soul... the heart..." "I throw up those empty words people bandy about." "I hate pity!" "I can't stand it!" "Especially not from you..." "Because I love you..." "From the moment I set eyes on you..." "I wasn't listening to you any more..." "Only to the echo of that..." ""I love you"..." "No one had ever said it to me before..." "What a thrill went right through me!" "Yes, I was in love too!" "For the first time in my life..." "Now I understood... to love is to give." "Always and forever..." "And to never take." "I was happy... freed from the shadow of my past life..." "That swamp I'd been thrown into by my step-brother." "I had changed a lot ...since that night with Edward." "He'd also changed..." "I had him under my thumb." "Then there was the night my step-father came back... released from prison." "We were sitting down to eat... the four of us." "As if he had never left, as if nothing had ever happened." "Had my mother gone mad?" "To go out for the evening the day her husband came back!" "My step-father never said a word at first... night after night..." "But one night I had a feeling..." "Buba!" "Yes, dear?" "You whore!" "You whore!" "At the time, I didn't understand what he was doing..." "How he was a former officer... and he had just degraded himself." "We listened carefully..." "he went out into the street." "That was what Edward was waiting for!" "He disgusted me..." "Did he have no feelings at all?" "I mightn't've been close to "Daddy"..." "but I felt sorry for him." "Then Edward gave me all the money he had on him!" "There was a coat that I'd wanted to buy for a long time... and small leather bag that came with it..." "Someone's coming!" "Get dressed!" "No Dad!" "Let me go..." "let me go!" "Pack your things!" "..." "And get out of this house!" "This minute!" "Just like your mother!" "Ten minutes later, I was on the street in the dead of the night." "Then some men came out with Edward on a stretcher." "I stepped aside and didn't even ask whether he was dead or alive." "A chapter in my life had ended." "I went to live with a friend..." "Irmgard." "Her father was at the front, her mother had died." "In short, she was free..." "with a lot of lovers." "A very free and easy young woman... and totally depraved... like society in general at that time." "But behind this behaviour... was nothing more... than a fear of death!" "You had to live fast..." ""live life to the full"." "I wasn't so naive any more... but still rather astonished." "I didn't waste any time and had soon passed Irmgard in the number of lovers." "She hated me!" "..." "I'd already pinched two of her guys." "For you!" "She was pretending to despise me... because of presents... clothes, money... but it was nothing more than envy." "She was becoming insufferable." "I certainly would have left, but every cellar in town was full." "But the war soon changed things... and put an end to our relationship." "Half of Hamburg was already in ruins." "I left for Munich." "Don't ask me why..." "I didn't know a soul there." "By a stroke of luck I saw an ad for a small apartment." "The owner was an old lady who had fled the bombs." "I could do what I like to redecorate..." "The first place of my own." "I was 18 years old." "What did I have to fear?" "I knew that in the smart areas... there were people worth meeting." "War..." "Everyone spent money like water..." "But nothing impressed me..." "I was bored, disillusioned... seduction... for a moment of fun." "The war came to an end without my really noticing much difference." "Other uniforms..." "another language." "The same places..." "the same emptiness until you came on the scene... and fixed yourself into my life." "You took over." "My apartment became your studio." "It wasn't always easy for me." "Your brushes, for example!" "How I hated them!" "Three times a day, I'd move them..." "And then, miraculously, they'd reappear!" "I wondered how many sets you might have..." "They were everywhere." "In the end..." "I gave up!" "I put our finances in order." "Ricardo's raffle was our reserve." "You asked me where it all came from... and I preferred to make up a story..." "I t was from my mother..." "her third marriage... an American officer." "Thank God you believed me!" "There was only the bracelet that Edward had given me..." "You hated it... instinctively." "One evening, the tailor came to bring your new suit." "We already had shirts and shoes." "All that was needed was you to wear it." "I began emptying your pockets." "It's amazing what a man can hide..." "A knife, a piece of candle, a cigarette holder..." "Some string... a pin!" "Like a little boy..." "And then I found this..." ""VERONAL"..." "Looking for something?" "Your lighter..." "I was happy it was that..." "believe me!" "Eight days went by." "And I came to believe that you'd forgotten about those pills." "That you'd only bought them to help you sleep... and I came to forget about them too." "Did you empty the pockets of my old suit-pants?" "Yes... why?" "Weren't there some tablets there?" "You've stolen those tablets." "I put them away." "Why would you want to carry 44 tablets in your pocket?" "Give them back to me." "I want to see them on that table within 2 minutes." "I saw your face and everything was clear... you were seeking to die." "You wanted to be able to choose the moment for yourself." "And I had taken away the means to do it..." "And you wanted that back ... at any price!" "Here and now..." "Whether we were happy or not!" "But why?" "That night I didn't sleep a wink." "I was waiting for your answer and your confession..." ""I'm going blind!"" "Yes... now I knew it all... a malignant brain tumor... looking forward to a terrible end." "That's why you drank... day after day... that you were drugging yourself to forget your fear." "But every drop of alcohol made it worse... speeded up the process... total loss of sight." "No!" "You told me you would decide about your end." "But I still refused to return it to you... at any price!" "There must be a solution..." "The Angel of Death who told you the truth... your doctor." "I still don't know him." "I can only see him as you drew him." "An operation on the tumor is possible he said... but there are risks." "And even if it's successful... no guarantee of a permanent cure." "In fact, you weren't really listening to him..." "The illness no longer interested you." "Only the doctor... and his face... and his whole character..." "which you found quite strange." "He came across as if he himself were facing death." "For him, it was the lungs..." "he confessed to you... and he only had a few years to live." "Three years... four years..." "Not much time." "He wanted to console you, so... the drawing made him laugh." "But joking aside..." "do you want the operation?" "Either now... or a bit later." "A year or two at most." "No. for you it wasn't worth the trouble." "But he had offered you a chance." "I've often looked at a photo of you:" "you... during the war, in good health... at your wife's side." "You told me about a fairy tale... until you begin to suffer..." "And right at that moment..." "she dropped you." "I'll never do that, Lexi!" "I swear to you... and you didn't get the Veronal back." "You had faith in me!" "..." "You put your life in my hands." "Well, I accepted the challenge." "I wanted to shake you by both hands!" "I was excited..." "I thought things over..." "I made plans." "I was going to make you happy again..." "I had some money..." "we could travel." "In Venice... as soon as we landed..." "I hurried to get a paper." "You'd sold a painting before we left... and I hoped to find something about you in the papers." "Success... a Munich paper..." "A headline on the Arts page!" "I could hardly read because I was so..." "It was critical, but your talent was recognized." "How proud I was of you!" "You of course just laughed it off ... as usual." "Success?" "..." "You still didn't deserve it, you said." "And it was I who deserved a reward... an expensive piece of diamond jewellery!" "I didn't ask where the money was coming from..." "I just gave you a smile." "The thought was enough..." "you wanted to give me something!" "You forced me from shop to shop." "But we bought nothing..." "it was only window-shopping." "Such beautiful things!" "..." "I couldn't make up my mind." "But you wanted to get a piece of jewellery!" "And I was worn out." "But you found something." "An Egyptian statuette!" "Amon-Ra, god of light..." "And you wanted it blessed..." "According to the rites that you'd been brought up in." "But I thought to myself..." "Wouldn't that be a sacrilege?" "And then I realised." "In your own way you were deeply religious." "Humble... before the wonder of Creation." "Good morning, my love!" " Sleep well?" " Yes." "But far too little..." " It's just that I didn't want to miss the wonder of the greatest wonder of all!" "As on the first day..." ""Let there be light!"" ""and there was light... "" "Why are you laughing?" "It does better than me..." "because you're happy!" "Because you pick what pleases you in religion..." "You old heathen!" "We'll be Adam and Eve!" "Like on the first day!" "Just like when they woke up in paradise!" "Over there is Santa Maria della Salute..." "A black silhouette..." "but which now... takes on form..." "life... colour!" "Look!" "The outlines are drawn now!" "The dome is gleaming!" "Marvellous!" "That light is majestic!" "And this old church, that's so precious... made especially to greet the sun!" "Isn't that a miracle?" "This is the secret of Titian and Botticelli..." "But you're not listening to me?" " Yes I am." " So what did I say?" " Adam and Eve go to church, to get form and colour..." "And Titian... and Botticelli paint them..." "And the majesty of the sun appears and it's a miracle!" "Good." "Where is the Grand Canal the deepest?" "At the Rialto, teacher." "Good... that's where I'll throw you in!" "Santa Maria della Salute..." "For you it was light." "For me it was happiness!" "We left to travel south... to Positano." "A small seaport at the foot of cliffs." "We stayed there, in love with that place... and totally in love." "Don't make me worry like this!" "This is where Ulysses landed!" "His ghost appeared!" "Poseidon confirmed it!" "Po-se-i-don!" "The guy with the trident!" "He gave me the whole story!" "Yes... the pagan gods were your friends" "But, Alexi..." "Weren't they also very cruel?" "After six weeks..." "it started again..." "You'd painted the rocks in the middle of the boats!" "Does he know, I wondered..." "can he see it?" "Are you OK?" "It's nothing, but..." "the sun is so bright!" "Too bright... for you who always wants it brighter?" "Your eyes never left that statuette..." "Somehow it helped you." "But only by being there..." "it didn't do anything." "You'd started drinking again..." "You tried to use alcohol to help you forget." "Thank God I still had the Veronal!" "It was well-hidden." "But then..." "how well hidden?" "But I still needed to keep track of you... to keep an eye on you..." "to stop you drinking too much." "And we climbed back up..." "those dozens and dozens of steps..." "Interminable..." "But I never gave up!" "There was only one thing in my life that mattered... to help you..." "and keep you alive." "And I was so happy if the next day passed without you drinking any wine." "I'd sold your painting in Naples..." "we had some money." "You were pleased!" "And these brief moments were what kept me happy." "We leave for Munich tomorrow morning!" "And you're going to have the operation, aren't you?" "And I could feel my heart beating faster than yours..." "Finally!" "..." "You wanted to live!" "Just one day more... then live for me!" "We arrived in Munich in the evening." "You'd been happy all the way." "As it was daylight..." "But in the taxi, your face went blank." "I was trying not to worry." "But I kept asking the same things..." "Do you remember the hospital?" "Which doctor?" "What's the operation?" "I don't know any more..." "Regrettably, me too..." "I didn't remember any more." "I set about looking for "The Angel of Death"." "I was convinced you had to be operated on that very evening!" "Tonight..." "or never!" "Yes... tonight..." "Tomorrow would be too late..." "I knew that quite clearly..." "it had to be tonight or never." "I found the drawing... but not the name of the doctor... nor that of the hospital." "Just a drawing..." "Dr Valentin something..." "But at least that was a start..." "On the street, I racked my brain..." "Where to start?" "Directories, the medical association..." "And suddenly..." "a flash of lightning!" "We're out of money!" "Hardly a thing..." "Certainly not enough for such an operation." "You'd spoken about thousands of marks..." "Where could we get it?" "It was desperate..." "There was only one solution left to solve the problem!" "Go back to the ruins and the rats..." "The only solution I knew..." "Very methodically I considered those gentlemen..." "The very one!" "..." "one of my old admirers..." "Felix Baumbacher, wealthy businessman..." "I thought he'd remember my name..." "But obviously not..." "Besides... even the barman was unsure..." "Marina?" "Finally Baumbacher did remember, and invited me over." "The girl with him knew me straight away..." "Her name was Ulla." "How long ago that life seemed!" "I had trouble remembering the moves..." "However..." "I put everything into it." "But it all fell flat." "He could feel I wasn't fun anymore." "The sex appeal I'd used had been left behind..." "Félix!" "I want to talk to you as a friend..." "I won't beat about the bush I need 3000 marks right away." "2000 might do it, but I need it in 15 minutes." "Can you help me?" "I promise you that..." "I'll work it off." "He gave me a wry smile then disappeared..." "with Ulla." ""Sorry, kid"... he laughed..." ""You're on your own... "" ""I come here to forget... "" ""I'll happily pay for a bit of fun... "" ""but not to look after lost souls!"" "I found that quite funny." "Finally... if I really wanted..." "he could get me...!" "Charley introduced me to another guy." "But once again..." "I'd lost my touch." "I was doomed to failure." "Hopeless, Charley!" "Hopeless, hopeless, hopeless!" "Then I noticed I still had the drawing..." "And that face reminded me of another!" "The Angel of Death!" "I was sure about it..." "a twist of fate!" "The blood rushed to my head..." "what'll I do?" "Tell the truth?" "He looked at me strangely." "Then I thought..." "Perhaps he's here... for the same reason most of the others here are." "If only I managed to persuade him..." "I'd follow him right away!" "You don't seem to be having any luck..." "Maybe I can help you." "But I only have an hour." "I don't have a place... not of my own..." "Just a camp bed at the lab..." "Do you have an apartment?" "Here?" "Is that okay?" "Excuse my clumsiness..." "I'm not..." "... used to this sort of thing." "I never had the time!" "Now there's not time enough." "If only he knew how well I understood..." "His expression was feverish, disturbing..." "Then suddenly he grabbed me!" "I wasn't surprised..." "But he frightened me." "Then he let me go." "Here I thought I'd made a mistake and I'd have fix it quickly!" "I was really distraught..." ""The Angel of Death"." "Yes..." "I remember!" "An incurable patient..." "A painter..." "Do you know him?" "Who is it?" "Is it your husband?" "Of course!" "Alexander is my husband!" "We're man and wife!" "I understand..." "he's your husband!" "And for me, those words consecrated our marriage." "Head nurse?" "Get the theatre ready!" "And send an ambulance to... 36A Gerolsteiner St." "I don't know how long I walked up and down..." "One hour... two hours..." "and the fear... the dread... the hope..." "I heard a voice from inside..." ""Now all we can do is pray to God!"" "I hadn't done that since I was a child..." "But now, nothing means more than he does!" "So... do I have the right?" "No!" "..." "It'd be hypocritical." "But still I prayed to Jesus Christ!" "..." "He who's for the desperate." "The Virgin Mary as well!" "..." "They had to help me!" "I know Thy will shall be done..." "But, please... as an act of grace..." "Allow Alexander to live!" "Slowly my heartbeat returned to normal..." "I stood in front of him... alone..." "I'll never forget his expression..." "The Angel of death had become the angel of life!" "I realised he had done the impossible..." "That he's pushed himself to the limit." "Perhaps he had eradicated the tumor completely!" "But I didn't dare ask him anything!" "I wanted to believe in a miracle" "And this belief was the most precious thing I had!" "This is poison for me..." "But the three of us are stronger..." "Stronger than death perhaps, dear lady?" "You took the road to recovery." "You got flowers... from your wife for example." "She resurfaced now that you were better." "For the two of us, those flowers were a signal to go." "I sold my apartment and we left." "A one-way ticket..." "to Vienna!" "We found the perfect house..." "On the outskirts of the city... with a garden." "You could finally paint outdoors." "I posed on the grass, screened by a large umbrella... even though you thought it unnecessary..." "What was there to hide?" "For you I was purity incarnate..." "This painting was titled " The Sinner"" "But it wasn't meant to be me..." "It was Phrynë..." "a courtesan from antiquity... who was acquitted by her judges, when she stood naked before them..." "That was the most beautiful day..." "No... they were all glorious." "Filled with happiness..." "We were so happy..." "it was frightening..." "This happiness was part of the early days in Vienna." "You wanted to restart everything from scratch... paint me with a new perspective... as if I were a new woman... to be reinvented." "At first I thought it was a passing fancy of yours..." "And then I saw you were taking it all very seriously." "Sometimes I was exhausted..." "But you didn't give in..." "You were like a man possessed!" "You were painting like a madman..." "And only painting me." "And finally..." "there was success!" "Newspapers began talking about a "new hope"... of a "discovery"." "You were dismissive..." "they didn't understand art." "Your first exhibition was also a success." "Soon, you couldn't paint fast enough." "You'd become fashionable!" "They bought everything..." "even the Italian leftovers!" "Modern... with a unique personal style, they said." "You thought it amusing..." "A fateful event rang out in the history of art!" "A new style..." ""Beyond-realism"!" "You had your revenge on the old fogies..." "Rather than paint with your head, you painted with your...!" "We both laughed out loud..." "I was so happy to be laughing with you." "I'd be waiting impatiently for your next joke..." "But on this particular day the work was serious..." "You painted non-stop..." "without a word." "Get out of here!" "Now!" "You filthy swine!" "They put you in a bad mood..." "But I was laughing..." "I was proud and happy!" "I think you were jealous..." "All your grand principles of "freedom of the body"" "had been challenged!" "The slightest suspicion that anyone other than you might see me nude, sent you crazy!" "Your eyes beamed..." "How happy we were!" "Then..." "There was THAT night." "I switched on all the lights as I came in, as I always did..." "You liked it to be light everywhere." "I saw you there..." "asleep on the sofa." "You'd complained of a headache that morning." "Suddenly I had the feeling there was something in the room..." "It felt strange..." "And then I saw the painting..." "You'd just put up your last painting." "Our "Sinner"..." "You probably wanted it to be a surprise for me..." "A nice surprise." "I didn't want to disturb you." "Is that you, Marina?" "Of course it is..." "Why haven't you turned the lights on?" "Sorry..." "I forgot!" "It's not working..." "the fuse must have blown." "And we're out of fuses!" "The whole town is blacked out!" "What bad luck!" "Come off it!" "..." "You know nothing can be done." "I'd never thought about that stupid lighter!" "I wanted to scream!" "Come over here to me!" "Or am I scaring you?" "That's the way it is..." "Don't cry my darling." " Are you sick?" " No... not at all." "I'm surprised how fearful I'd been before... earful of the tumor that destroys your sight." "I imagined the worst sort of torture..." "But it's not like that at all." "Instead, I have a strange feeling of lightness..." "Of clarity..." "Do you still believe in fate?" "If so... all this was written before I was born." "Long before..." "Very long before." "But the pain'll come later..." "It's inevitable." "But darling, before I'm reduced to a screaming heap..." "I'd like to drink some good wine." "Champagne." "Very well." "I really would have like to have seen you one more time..." " Go and get it." " Yes darling." "Bottoms up!" "Yes..." "That's the way it was..." "Now it's done." "And there's only one thing left for me to do." " Can you hear me?" " Yes..." "I can still hear you." "But you're far away..." "far far away." "Is it hurting?" "Speak closer." "Are you in pain?" "It's odd..." "I can't hear anything... but I can still think." "I'm very curious to know... what sort of life Marina will have." "There'll be none..." "without you." "I can see such beautiful paintings..." "All that's missing is the light." "And you... you're forever like a picture." "Magnificent..." "I know that at the start you'll be sad... because we were so good for each other." "I'm staying, darling." "But then..." "you're still young..." "That's why I'm going..." "feeling at peace." "I'm coming with you, darling." "I leave willingly..." "and burden-free!" "Don't talk to me about sin." " Yes, I know." " Watch out!" "... the gods are listening!" " Suicide, anger..." " He hears us." "God forgive me!" " It is all very clear now." " I love you." "As clear as on the first day of Creation..." "Remember Santa Maria della Salute?" "..." "What you called me?" ""You old heathen!"" "I love you..." "I'll be back with you, darling..." "Soon." "Subtitles by FatPlank [RLB] for KG"