"1, 2, 3, 4, hey!" "1, 2, 3, 4, hey!" "give me the detonator." "What are we blowing up?" "what difference does it make?" "You ready on the right?" "Uh, rooney, don't blow your dick off." "Good idea." "Protect yourself at all times." "Let's blow that sucker up." "Pretty little thing, isn't it?" "Yeah. 4th of July." "Quite a little sparkler." "One thing about the long fuse - yeah." "...Is that you're further away from it" "When it goes off." "You remember that bridge?" "the bridge" "Where we used 3 miles of fuse?" "We were sitting there for four days." "It seemed like four days." "I took a nap." "You woke me up" "So we could watch the sucker go off." "We were way over beyond the hill." "It was pretty when it went off." "God, it was beautiful." "You did that great, rooney." "It was fucking beautiful." "That was a masterpiece." "Oh, hi, martin." "How are you?" "Getting shorter." "Oh, god." "Those two nuts are playing war again." "I bet he shit his pants." "What the hell are you laughing at?" "Ten-hut!" "Oh, my god, martin." "What happened?" "What's your name, soldier?" "Bush, sir." "Put it down." "Drop it, martin." "Drop it." "No!" "Drop it!" "Put it down!" "Get some cold water - would you get away from me, please?" "What's that sticking out in front of your drawers, bush?" "Nothing, sir." "You're goddamn right it's nothing." "No!" "did you shit your bed?" "No, sir." "Well, you should have." "Stick it under there, martin." "I hate it." "Martin, I know." "Do you know how I hate it?" "Yes, I know." "Everybody hates it." "Don't you think I hate it, martin?" "I enlisted, though." "I enlisted, and I- yeah, I enlisted, too." "I want it clean now!" "Sit down." "Sit down." "Move!" "come on in." "it's still bleeding?" "I vomit every morning." "I get the dry heaves in the middle of every night." "You're just scared, martin." "It's just fear." "You can get over that." "Wrap this very tightly." "Wrap this and hold it there." "Hold it up in the air." "Do you throw up?" "Hold it there, martin, and don't do anything." "Just stay there and hold this very tightly and keep it up." "All right?" "Mm-hmm." "Where is that thing?" "They're going to ask some questions." "Um, uh, roger isn't here right now." "They told me a black boy live in here." "Where's he at?" "Yeah, I know." "That's what I'm saying." "Uh, he isn't here." "He'll be back later, though." "Uh, you can come back then." "His name is roger." "They're all so mean." "They're all so awful." "I've got two years to go." "Just thinking about it is gonna make me sick." "This is all fucked." "What are you doing?" "Okay, this is good." "This is gonna hurt just a little." "No, it's good." "It's good, it's good, it's good." "You know, I thought it would be different." "I just wanted to get out." "I might not have come in here." "I might not have found you." "I don't care." "I'd be out." "Oh, shit." "I slit my wrist!" "Oh, martin, jesus!" "I did." "He's just kidding." "He's kidding." "I'm not kidding." "I'm not kidding." "I slit my wrist!" "It's not gonna do any good to bandage it up." "I'm getting out of here." "I don't care..." "What's going on?" "I'm getting out of here." "Nothing, man." "Ain't no thing but a chicken wing." "Hey, richie, who was that colored guy in here?" "Uh, he came in here looking for roger." "He didn't even know his name." "I cut my wrists, billy." "For god's sake, martin." "Huh?" "I did." "You're disgusting." "No, it's the truth." "I did." "I am not disgusting." "It may not be disgusting, but it certainly is disappointing." "What are you guys talking about?" "I cut my wrists." "I slashed them, and richie is pretending I didn't do it." "I am not." "And you only cut one wrist, and you didn't slash it." "I can't stand the army anymore, billy." "This is just between martin and me, all right?" "It's between me and the army." "Let's just go outside." "Can I see?" "Did he really do it?" "No." "Yes!" "Aw, geez, martin." "That's really awful." "Maybe you better go to the infirmary." "No." "I already washed it with peroxide, billy." "It isn't very deep." "Just let us be, please." "He needs to straighten out his thinking a little bit." "Maybe I can help him." "Yeah, you just go do some pushups or something." "Hey, listen, you're no doctor." "I wanna make sure he doesn't have to go to the infirmary." "Then I'll leave you alone." "I know what martin needs." "Yeah, I'll bet you do." "it's really deep!" "Hey, rog." "Man, I want to get out of here." "Out and free." "So go, man." "There's the door get out." "Go on." "Ain't you a bitch?" "Why don't you turn the lights on in this motherfucker?" "Lights on!" "Apples, apples all the way!" "Apples, apples every day!" "To the left!" "To the left!" "To the left!" "To the left!" "To the left!" "To the left!" "To the left!" "To the left!" "Throw down!" "Give me ten!" "Count off!" "1!" "2!" "3!" "3!" "4!" "5!" "6!" "7." "8. 9." "You and me are more regular army" "Than the goddamn sergeants around this place." "You know that?" "Yeah, if I was you, billy boy," "I wouldn't be talking so sacrilegious so loud." "you smack them in the head..." "Three laps around the pole." "To the left, motherfucker, to the left!" "Don't you think l.B.J. Wants some sergeants" "In that vietnam in disneyland, baby?" "Lord have mercy on the old son." "He's going over there to be mickey mouse." "Do him a lot of good." "Make a man out of him." "I can't hear you!" "Make a man out of him!" "That's right!" "Calisthenics!" "Count off!" "1!" "2!" "3!" "4!" "You know what the old boy's m.O.S. Is?" "His military occupation specialty?" "Demolition, baby." "Expert is his name." "you mean that old son of a bitch" "Who can't light his own cigar for shaking" "Is supposed to go over there, blowing up bridges and shit?" "he could hardly blow up a bunk bed." "At least he ain't cutting his fucking wrists." "I hear that." "Hey, rog." "Yeah." "You ever ask yourself if you'd rather fight in a war where it was freezing cold" "Or one where there was snakes?" "You ever ask that question?" "Can't say I ever did." "I used to ask it all the time." "All the time." "I mean, us kids sitting out on the back porch" "Telling ghost stories at night." "'cause it was korea time, and the newspapers" "Were full of pictures of soldiers in the snow" "With these white frozen beards, and they got" "They got rags tied around their feet." "White frozen beards?" "And snakes, man." "We hated snakes." "I mean, it's bad enough to be crawling around" "In a fucking jungle ducking bullets." "Then you gotta crawl right into a goddamn snake." "It's awful." "Yeah, it don't sound none too cool." "When I got my draft notice, this goddamn vietnam didn't even exist." "I mean, it existed, but not as in a war we might be in." "I started crawling around on the floor in this house where I was staying," "Going bang, bang, bang, bang." "Shooting just like some fucking kid." "Hey, man, my first goddamn formation in basic, billy" "Man, there's some nco up there jamming away, man." "He's going" "He says, "all right." "Now, some of you men" "Are gonna be dying in this war."" "Right?" "I'm saying, "what war?" "Man, what is this crazy man talking about?"" "Right." "Now everybody's going." "Yeah, they're cleaning house." "Don't seem possible." "I mean, people shooting at you." "Shooting at you to kill you." "That's something." "Hey, richie, why do you always gotta be wearing that navy hat, man?" "This is the army." "This is not a navy hat." "It's an authentic greek fisherman's cap." "Yeah, what are you, a greek?" "no." "God damn!" "How'd you get all that blood on your shirt?" "I simply did a rather wonderful thing" "For a friend of mine." "I helped him to see himself" "In a clearer, more hopeful light," "And I am very happy." "Yeah, well, what'd you do, cut his throat?" "no." "Didn't, uh, billy tell you?" "about what?" "About martin." "No." "no?" "No." "No?" "What do I want to gossip about martin for?" "Who's planning to gossip?" "I mean, it did happen." "We can talk about it." "It really wasn't anything, roger," "Except that, uh, martin made this rather" "Desperate, pathetic gesture for attention" "Which seems to have brought to the surface" "Billy's more humane and protective side." "I'm gonna have to obliterate you." "Obliterate, did you say?" "Oh, billy." "You better say shit, ain't and motherfucker real soon," "Or we're all gonna know just how far" "Beyond the fourth grade you really went." "You ain't worth shit, motherfucker." "all right!" "Uh, no, no, no, billy." "Wit is my domain." "You're in charge of sweat and running around the block." "Hey, billy, you wanna go to a movie tonight?" "I don't know." "What's playing?" "I don't know." "What's the difference?" "You wanna go, rog?" "Don't ask roger." "How are we going to kiss and hug and stuff like that" "If he's around?" "faggot." "Imagine being in combat with richie." "People blasting away at you." "Probably wanna hold your hand or something." "yeah, he's something, man." "He's all right." "I think we ought to do this area." "I think we should mop and buff this floor." "1, 2, 3, 4!" "1, 2, 3, 4!" "1, 2, 3, 4!" "This area ain't standing tall!" "This area's a mess!" "You put it up to an area standing tall!" "That's good talk, lad." "This area is a midget." "You put it next to an area standing tall." "You don't think he means that shit he's always talking, do you?" "What?" "Him?" "No." "I'd put money on it, rog, and I ain't got much money." "No, you listen to the old rog." "Now, you seen that picture of that cute little dolly he's got in his locker?" "Man, he's not swish!" "No way, man." "No fucking way." "I don't know, man." "Since people started getting shipped out," "He's been acting real strange." "Yeah, well, who ain't nervous?" "You ever talk to any of these guys?" "Queers, I mean." "Hell, no, man." "What do I want to do that for?" "Shit, no." "I mean, some of them are okay guys." "Then there's these bitches, man." "They're so crazy, they can't see nothing but themselves" "And these goddamn games they're always playing." "Man, you can be decent about anything." "You see what I'm saying, rog?" "I mean, I just think we all ought to be honest with each others." "You understand me or what?" "No, I don't understand you." "One stupid fucking nigger like me." "Now, how's that supposed to be?" "That's right, man." "Mock me." "That's just what I need." "Hey, where you going?" "It's Saturday." "I'm supposed to call." "Say, boy," "Whose locker is that you're looking into there, huh?" "Hey, what's happening, baby?" "That ain't your locker" "Is what I'm asking you, nigger." "I mean, you ain't got the body of no white goddamn woman" "Hanging on your wall now, does you?" "No." "No, no, no." "You don't wanna be lying to me now, bean breath." "I got to turn you in if you're lying." "And you do got the body of some white hot-thing woman" "Hanging on your wall now, don't you, for you to peek at?" "Ain't nobody else around here but you, huh?" "You could be thinking about that sweet," "Wet, white poontang little pussy, huh?" "Yeah, I could be thinking all that," "Except I know the penalty for lying." "Thank god for that." "My man." "Man, check it out." "Now, this here" "Is the locker of a faggot." "Of course it is, man." "I can see that, man." "Any damn fool could see that, man." "Yo, man." "Hey, you want a shot?" "No, man." "Hey, brother rog, you don't wanna take my bottle, man." "I think you're a tom now." "Oh, shit." "Yeah, that's right." "That's right." "Go on." "How the fuck do I know, huh?" "I just got in, right?" "New boy in town." "Somewhere over there, man." "I don't know, man." "They just dumped me in here" "With a bunch of pale-born motherfuckers, man." "I just got in, man." "P company and shit, man." "I walk all around this motherfucker, man." "This outfit look like it's a little short on soul." "You know what I mean?" "You got few brothers, what I'm trying to say and shit." "Now, go on, man." "Take yourself a real taste." "Yeah." "Man, it ain't that bad." "What about the white boys, huh?" "They give you any shit, man?" "It's good business, man." "What's the situation, you know?" "'cause, like, I'm one of them dudes that like to know" "What's going on within the situation" "Before the situation get a chance to be closing in on me" "Man, it ain't that bad." "They just pale, most of them," "But they can't help it." "Now, how they gonna help it?" "Some of them got a little bit of soul." "We got a couple real good boys around here." "You give them a little coppertone, they'd be straight, man." "Yeah." "What about the ncos?" "We got any brother ncos looking out for us?" "Are they all white?" "Like I goddamn well know all the fucking officers are white." "The fucking officers are always white, man." "Fucking snow cones in bars everywhere you look and shit." "The first sergeant's a black man." "Oh, yeah?" "That's good news, blood." "I heard hitler was a jew, too." "Yo, man, you wanna go over to the club with me and shit?" "You know, the bowling alley." "There's a nice bowling alley down there, man." "They got some sweet hos over there." "Let's cut out." "No, man." "No." "Aw, come on, baby, man." "No." "Some other time." "I gotta get my area straight." "Me and the guy who lives in here, too" "We're gonna straighten up a little bit." "Oh." "Oh, yeah." "Right." "You got your sweet deal here, right?" "You don't wanna fuck it up, huh?" "Let me ask you something, man." "How the fuck you rate this whole joint, huh," "All to yourself," "And I'm fucking jammed up over in p company" "Like we're fucking fleas in a bum's ass" "Man, we ain't got this whole place." "You think you're talking to a fool or something, man?" "I can see who's here and who ain't here, man." "You got this whole fucking joint to make your home, man." "You and a fucking couple of bunch of dickhead white boys and shit, man." "I'm fucking jammed up in p company with the rest of the - no." "We're here because all three of us are spec 4." "What?" "You spec 4?" "What the fuck is spec 4, huh?" "T-5, nco, pfc." "Nigger, you're spec shit!" "this is the fucking army, man!" "They gonna be kicking and stomping" "Everybody's motherfucking ass in this place, man." "Maybe one week before getting shipped out" "To get their same ass blown away, man!" "And what they doing?" "They doing what they told," "Like you." "I'm getting hat jacked, you know." "I'm gonna make it on out of here" "Where it is sweet" "And the peoples is living." "'cause I can't cut this shit here, you understand?" "I can't cut it." "This your area mate, man?" "Yeah, that's one of them." "Uh, hey, rich" "Yo, man." "My name's carlyle." "You richie?" "Yes." "He just came over from p company." "Yo, uh, what happened to that - you know, that cute little martin?" "You know, cut himself?" "Martin's gone now." "You're cute, too, you know, rich?" "I say, my man, you forgot your bottle." "So, uh, okay, man." "You ain't gonna make it with me?" "No." "You go on." "I'll catch you later." "Aw, man, that's a shame." "Make me wanna cry in my heart, you know." "You go and get your head smoking and stop on back." "All right, man." "Guess I got to be one man one more time, huh?" "Easy, boss." "Yeah, you go on home, man." "Go on home, nigger." "You gonna be hearing from me, too." "Yeah, I can and do believe that." "God damn!" "Who was that?" "the man's new, rich." "I don't know his name more than that carlyle." "He's new." "He just got out of basic." "New?" "He looks pretty used to me." "What doesn't?" "Hey, billy, how's your old man doing?" "There wasn't anybody home." "Oh, man, that's too bad." "billy, are we going to the movies tonight or not?" "I ain't going nowhere." "what are you doing?" "What is this?" "Baby powder?" "You got enough jazz in there for an entire beauty parlor." "I get rashes, okay?" "So what?" "They got powder for rashes that ain't baby powder." "It doesn't work as well." "I've tried it." "Have you tried it?" "At least get yourself straight!" "What do you want me to do?" "Get inside your locker and shut the door." "Don't holler for help." "Nobody will know you're in there." "But I'm so pretty." "Tell that man you mean what you're saying, rich!" "Mean what?" "That you think you're pretty!" "Of course I do." "I am." "Don't you think I'm pretty, roger?" "Yeah, I told you, you're full of shit," "And you're cute." "Carlyle told you you were cute, too." "Like I told you, rog." "What did you tell rog?" "That you go down." "That you go up and down like a yo-yo," "And you go blowing all the trees like the wind!" "What in the hell made you tell roger I've been down?" "It's in your eyes." "I've seen it." "What?" "You." "What is it, billy, you think you're trying to say?" "You with all your wit and intelligence," "Your humanity." "I said it, rich." "I said what I was trying to say." "Did you?" "I think I did." "Do you?" "Loud and clear." "they got to put me in with the weirdos." "Now, why is that?" "Why the army hate me to do this shit to me?" "Huh?" "roger, sometimes I think you're so naive." "I mean, it really isn't such a bad thing after all." "Is it, billy?" "How would I know?" "Oh, go fuck yourself!" "Can I think of you as I do?" "God damn it, that's it!" "It!" "Now, I'm gonna level with you, rich!" "You're gonna hear what I'm saying" "And not what you think I'm saying?" "Don't get cute." "Don't turn away cute." "I wanna say something straight at you, and I want you to hear it." "This is level, rich." "This is straight talk." "No bs, no tricks." "What you do on the side, that's your business, and I don't care about it." "But if you don't cut this cute shit with me, I'm gonna turn you off." "You understand?" "You ain't gonna get a "good morning" out of me." "'cause it's getting bad around here, rich." "I know how you think," "How you keep looking out at me and seeing yourself." "That's what I'm trying to tell you, because that's all that's happening." "That's all there is to it when you look out at me" "And think there's some kind of approval or whatever you see in my eyes." "You're just seeing yourself." "How else do you want me to be?" "That ain't any part of it, rich." "I don't come from the same kind of world as you do." "damn, richie." "You think roger and I came off the same street?" "Bullshit." "All right." "Okay." "I've just done what I wanted to all my life." "If I wanted to do something, I just did it, really." "I've never had to work or anything like that." "I've always had nice clothing," "Money for cab fare," "Money for whatever I wanted, really." "I'm just not like you are." "But you ain't really done that stuff." "What?" "That fag stuff." "how long you think we got?" "Before what?" "They ship us out, man." "What, to the war?" "To disneyland, baby?" "shit." "I don't know." "That's up to them ibms, man." "Machines running this shit." "Maybe next week." "Maybe tomorrow." "Maybe never." "You know, I was reading" "They're planning to build it up" "To over 500,000 men over there" "Americans- and that they're gonna leave it that way" "Until we can win it." "It'd be a great place to come back from." "I keep thinking about that, you know?" "To have gone there, to have been there," "And seen it, and lived." "I don't know what I think about this war." "I tell you, I've been doing a lot of reading," "And I think it's right we go." "I mean, it's just like" "When north korea invaded south korea," "Or when hitler invaded poland and all them other countries." "He just kept testing everybody," "And when nobody stood up against him" "And tried to stop him," "He got so committed that he couldn't back out." "And that's what I figure this ho chi minh is doing" "And all them other communists." "If we let them know" "Somebody's gonna stand up against them," "They'll back out just like hitler would've." "Yeah, well, you know, there's people saying" "That l.B.J. Is a hitler, not a ho chi minh at all." "well, I don't know anything about all that." "But what I do know is I'm certain" "I don't want to go there, no matter what is going on." "I mean, those viet cong," "They don't just shoot you and blow you up, you know." "They got these other horrible things they do," "Like these caves that they hide in." "Like, you know, you go inside- you follow them inside" "And they have these snakes that they've tied" "From their tails to the ceiling." "And you go in after them." "It's dark," "And the snake is furious" "From having been tied by its tail." "And you crawl right into the snake." "They do not." "That's awful, richie." "That's probably the most disgusting thing I ever heard of." "I mean, I don't want to go anyplace" "Where that kind of shit is going on." "I mean, old l.B.J. Is hitler." "Suddenly, I see it all very clearly." "I mean, any person who would hang a snake by its tail" "In the hope that some other person" "Might crawl into it and get bitten to death" "That first person is somebody who ought to be shot." "And I hope the 500,000 other soldiers that get shipped over there" "Kill them all- all them gooks" "Get them driven back into germany where they belong." "¶ beautiful dreamer ¶" "Hey, richie, you want a shot of some beam, man?" "Oh, yeah." "I want a shot of some beam, man." "Why didn't you ask me if I want a shot?" "All right." "It's in my locker." "Oh." "Oh, man, not that locker." "The liquor locker." "sons of bitches, man." "That ain't funny!" "What you laughing at?" "Fucking dicks, man." "Look at him at attention." "How come you all take this stuff so seriously?" "what?" "this army nonsense." "I mean, you're always polishing your brass," "Keeping your footlocker neat." "Your locker's so neat." "I mean, there isn't any point to it." "well, we're here, ain't we?" "I mean, we're in the army." "Rules, rich." "Me and rog obey the rules." "You probably don't understand rules." "Yeah, that's right." "It just so happens that me and billy" "Agree on a lot of things, man." "I mean, the army ought to be serious," "Even though it sometimes ain't." "Am I right?" "that's right, brother." "you're lucky, you know," "The two of you having each other for friends the way you do." "I never had a friend like that..." "Ever," "Not even when I was little." "there ain't been no soldiers in this camp but me." "oh, boy." "guess who." "I've been the only one." "I've been the only me." "Fucking rooney." "For so long, I've been the only goddamn one." "Haah!" "Haah!" "what kind of platoon I got here?" "You bunch of shit sacks." "Everybody look sharp!" "Up and armed!" "Up and armed!" "Hey, what's happening, sarge?" "shut up, hicks." "Want a belt?" "How can I say no?" "My name is cokes." "How about me, too?" "You wait your turn." "Don't you see what I got here?" "Everybody, ten-hut!" "This here is my friend," "Who in addition just came back from the war." "This man's a fucking hero." "He's always been a fucking hero." "Aww." "Show him your boots." "Cokesy, show them- show them your jungle boots." "Look at that boot!" "Get over here and look at that boot!" "Move!" "You, too, douglas." "That ain't no regular goddamn army boot." "That is a goddamn jungle boot." "That green canvas is a jungle boot because of the heat," "And them - look at them little holes in the bottom." "You see that?" "That is air for when you've been walking in water," "Like a lot of water, like maybe in a jungle swamp." "The army ain't no goddamn fool." "You see a man wearing a pair of boots like that," "You know he been to the war," "And you might as well see he got a chest full of medals!" "He ain't going to have no boots like that" "If he ain't been to the war, which is where I'm going," "And all you slap-happy motherfuckers are going, too." "Got to go kill some gooks!" "That's right." "Going to piss on them." "Old booze." "That's what I did, piss in the rivers." "Goddamn g.I.'s secret weapon!" "Old booze, and he's pissing it in all their running water." "Makes them yellow!" "Me and cokes have been in so much shit together, we ought to be brown." "Don't take no offense to that, hicks." "We've been swimming in it, 101st airborne together." "101 screaming goddamn eagles!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "This ain't the army." "You punks ain't in the army." "You ain't even seen the army." "The army is airborne!" "Airborne all the way!" "Airborne!" "Airborne, all the- sergeant." "Sergeant!" "Can I have a drink, too?" "What?" "He's kidding me." "Ain't you?" "You've got to be kidding me." "Ain't he kidding me?" "Hicks?" "Uh-huh." "He's kidding me there, cokesy." "don't you know" "You're trying to take the booze out of the hand" "Of the next goddamn" "Congressional water medal winner award?" "Old rooney." "Old rooney- he almost done it already." "You think we ought to show these shit sacks" "How men are men jumping out of planes?" "Yeah." "Hold this." "Don't drink it!" "a plane full of screaming, stomping men!" "Stand up!" "Hook up!" "Check static line!" "Check equipment!" "Sound off!" "Equipment check!" "Check!" "Check!" "Stand in the door!" "Stand in the door!" "Jump!" "Jump!" "Geronimo!" "What a feeling." "Beautiful feeling." "You remember that one guy- o'flannigan?" "o'flannigan." "Ah!" "He was this one guy, o'flannigan." "We was testing these chutes" "Where you could just pull a lever by your ribs here" "When you hit the ground, see," "And the chute will come off you." "Because it was after" "After a whole bunch of guys had been dragged to death" "In an unexpected and terrible wind at fort bragg." "And they wanted you to be able to release the chute" "When you hit- if there was a bad wind when you hit." "So o'flannigan" "He was this kind of joker" "Who had the goddamn sense of humor of a clown" "And nerves, I tell you, of steel." "And he says he's going to release the lever mid-air" "And reach up and grab the lines and float on down hanging." "I seen him pull the lever at 500 feet," "And he reaches up to two fistfuls of air." "The chute's 20 feet above him." "He went into the ground like a knife." "jesus." "Didn't get to sing the song, I'll bet." "What song is that, sergeant rooney?" "Shit sack, shit sack!" "What song?" ""beautiful streamer," shit sack." "There was this one guy" "With his chute going up above him in a streamer," "Like a tulip" "Only white, you know," "All twisted, never going to open." "Like a big icicle sticking up right up above him." "He went right by me." "We met eyes, sort of." "He was looking real puzzled." "And he- he looks right at me" "And then up in the air at the chute" "And down at the ground." "Was he singing it?" "No, he didn't sing it." "He was going like this," "Like he was going to climb right up the air." "Cokes gets the silver star in korea" "For rolling a barrel of oil down a hill" "Into 47 chinky-dinky chinese gooks" "Who were climbing up the hill," "And when he shot into it with his machine gun," "It blew them all to grape jelly." "¶ beautiful streamer ¶" "¶ open for me ¶" "But the one I remember" "Is this little guy in a spider hole," "Which is a hole in the ground with a lid on it," "And he shot me in the ass as I was running by." "A bullet knocked me so hard, it knocked me into a ditch." "I got crawling behind him." "Crawling, crawling behind him." "I threw a grenade into his hole," "And then I sat on the lid." "I could feel him bouncing and yelling under me." "Bouncing and yelling under the lid." "I could hear him." "I could feel him." "I just sat there." "I bet he was singing it." "I think so." "You think we ought to let them hear it?" "I don't care who hears it." "I just want to be singing it." "all right, you listen up." "You better be listening good." "This is a song a man sings" "He's going down through the air, his chute don't open." "¶ beautiful streamer ¶" "¶ open for me ¶" "¶ the sky is above me ¶" "¶ but no canopy ¶" "¶ counted 10,000, pulled on the cord ¶" "¶ my chute didn't open ¶" "¶ I shouted "dear lord" ¶" "¶ beautiful streamer ¶" "¶ this looks like the end ¶" "¶ the earth is below me ¶" "¶ my body won't mend ¶" "¶ just like a mother ¶" "¶ watching o'er me ¶" "¶ beautiful streamer ¶" "¶ open ¶" "¶ for ¶" "¶ me ¶" "Coke!" "Coke!" "Coke!" "Coke." "Coke." "Coke." "Coke." "Coke." "Easy, coke." "I've been doing that." "Don't mean nothing." "No." "I told him when they wanted to send me back," "I ain't got no leukemia." "They want to check it." "They think I got it." "No." "I don't think I got it." "No." "Rooney." "Rooney, my mother had it." "She had it." "Just as she had it, I've been falling down." "That don't mean nothing." "I've been falling down because I'm drunk." "I'm drunk all the time." "All I know is" "You and me are going back over there together." "Cokey, that's all I know." "Me and cokes are going back to the war zone where we belong." "Gonna blow it to shit." "You better be reading the papers." "Cokes and rooney doing daring, brave deeds" "Because we're old hands at it," "Making shit disappear." "Goddamn whoosh!" "Whoosh!" "Them noises" "That's what me and- me and co" "No, no, no, no." "Well, you're cool with the dynamite." "That's what you're trying to say, right?" "Shut the fuck up." "That's what you can do." "And go to goddamn bed." "just go to sleep is what you can do" "Because me and rooney, we fought it for two wars already," "And we're going to make it through this one," "And leukemia that comes or doesn't come" "Who gives a shit?" "Not guys like us." "We're going just as pretty as pie." "It's lights-out time, ain't it, rooney?" "christ to god damn it." "Just flick out the old light, sarge." "That's what we say." "yeah, do it. shut up!" "That's an order!" "Well, lordy have mercy, if that ain't a pair." "if that ain't a pair." "they're something, ain't they?" "yeah, too much." "what time is it?" "sleep time, man." "richie." "Richie." "Hmm?" "Hey, man, you ain't really into that stuff, are you, man?" "What stuff is that, roger?" "Man, that fag stuff." "You just got caught up with the wrong group, man." "That's what I think happened." "Am I right?" "You got caught with a bad bunch." "That's what happened, man, and it happens." "Hey, I bet you never had a chance" "To really run with the boys, right?" "No, man, I'm talking about really normal guys like me and billy." "Man, do some pushups or something, man." "It'll straighten you out." "I know that thing, man." "That I know." "Works." "Rog." "Hmm?" "had a buddy, you know," "This kid I grew up with," "Played ball with him in high school." "He was a real bad man sometimes, you know?" "Used to have gangster pictures up in his room." "Anyway, we got into this deal" "Where we'd drive on down to the big city, man," "You know, hit some bad spots," "Let some queer pick us up" "Long enough to let him buy us some good stuff." "And pretty soon they'd ask us," "Do we want to go over to their place, you know?" ""sure," we'd say, and order up one more drink." "Then when we hit the street, we'd tell them to kiss off," "Call them a fag and a queer and jazz like that" "And tell them to kiss off." "That kind of jazz went on and on for sort of a long time," "And it was a good deal if you were low on cash and needed a laugh." "It went on for a while." "Then one day frank comes up to me and he says," ""going home with the guys, but-"" "He said, why don't I tag along?" ""what the hell?" he says." "What does it matter who does it to you?" "Some guy or some old broad, you close your eyes, a mouth's a mouth." "It don't matter." "Know what I'm saying?" "Tried to talk him out of it," "But he wasn't hearing anything I was saying." "He had this nice little girl" "He was going out with at the time." "You know the way a real bad cat can sometimes do that," "Have a nice little girl who's crazy about him" "And he is for her, too, and he's a different cat when he's around her?" "uh-huh." "yeah." "That was him and linda." "Then one day he just dropped her, let her loose." "He was hooked." "He was into it with no way he knew out." "damn." "You understand what I'm saying?" "He was hooked." "Never thought he would." "Then one day he just woke up, and he was on it." "Rich." "Man, do you hear what he's saying, man?" "He's a storyteller." "What?" "I mean he's a storyteller." "He tells stories all right." "what are we into now?" "Huh?" "Who's that?" "what's happening?" "Who's that?" "damn, brother." "What, are you attacking or retreating?" "you all don't give a fuck, man," "Because you got it made." "You got friends..." "People to talk to," "And I ain't got nothing." "I ain't got shit." "You got your job." "Yeah." "You got jobs so motherfucking important, man," "They probably ain't never going to ship you out," "You got jobs so fucking important." "I ain't got no fucking job." "Ain't nobody will give me a fucking job, man!" "They gonna kill me." "They gonna send my fucking ass out there" "To fucking vietnam and kill me." "God damn it, man." "Damn it." "hey, man, what you doing?" "Hey, man, what you doing, man?" "Say, brother, what you doing on my freshly mopped floor, my man?" "sorry, man." "I'll go" "I'll go to sleep." "Okay, man?" "It's all right?" "Yeah, man." "Hey, look, why don't you go where your bed is at, man?" "Don't you like beds?" "I can't find it, man." "Come on, man." "Oh, goddamn motherfucking man," "I looked all over this motherfuck" " I can't find it." "Well, just get one of them beds, man." "Sleep in one of these beds, man." "We got beds here." "I can't find my own bed, god damn, not anywhere." "Lay down on this, man." "Guy's hurtin', rog." "yeah, I know." "I had such a sweet time, you know." "It's so pretty, man." "It's so fucking pretty, man." "They going dancing and shit, make you want to fucking cry." "Make you want to cry, bro." "So sweet, though." "Why I got to be here?" "Why I got to be here, bro?" "I don't know, jim." "I know why he's got to be here, rog." "Jive, man." "Well, I know." "Why don't you ask me?" "All right, you tell me." "Why the fuck does he have to be here?" "Freedom's frontier, man." "That's why." "Freedom's frontier." "What are you doing?" "Why do you always got to be doing that shit, man?" "you don't know why he's doing it." "Do you?" "it's our dances." "¶" "¶ I remember yesterday ¶" "¶ it doesn't seem so far away ¶" "¶ the crazy things we used to do ¶" "¶ I can still remember ¶" "¶ all the boys on Friday night ¶" "¶ we had to keep them out of sight ¶" "¶ so we could have our secret ¶" "¶ rendezvous ¶" "¶ I remember the danger ¶" "¶ I remember the sign ¶" "¶ we were flashing the lights ¶" "¶ 'cause we were ready ¶" "¶ we were ready for the boys ¶" "Rog, you think I'm a busybody?" "Hey, man, I think we should play some ball." "That's what I think." "Yeah." "I just don't feel like it." "I don't know what it is." "I'm feeling sick-like." "I don't know why." "Be good for you." "Yo." "Come on, man." "I mean, like, a lot of people thought I didn't know" "How to behave in a simple way back home, you know?" "That I overcomplicated everything?" "I didn't think so." "I just thought I was seeing complications that were there" "But nobody else saw." "Wisconsin's a funny place, man." "All them clear-eyed people looking at you," "Saying "hello" and "how are you?"" "Then all of a sudden, some neighbor goes mad as a hatter." "Yeah, well, man, I'm going to be madder than that" "If you don't hurry up" "And start shooting this rock, man." "Come on." "This one time, I had this neighbor." "One morning he comes out of his house," "And he's got axes in both of his hands," "And he starts attacking all the cars" "That are driving up and down in front of his house." "Made me want to be a priest." "I was 16, man." "Priests could help people, you know?" "Thought I wanted that." "Same game, another buck." "Think that's mine." "You owe me 20." "There you go." "¶ boys in the attic ¶" "¶ boys ¶" "¶ oh, yeah ¶ come on, man." "Can't fucking do it." "It ain't my game." "I mean, like that bar we go to, you know?" "Think I can get a job there bartending, maybe?" "you don't want a fucking job." "It's that black girl, the waitress, you really want." "no, man, not really." "Hey, come on, man." "She's cute." "I'd fuck her." "I mean, not the way you're saying is all." "damn!" "Sure, there's something about her." "I don't know what." "I ain't even spoke to her yet." "I mean, when she's doing it, when she's dancing." "ow!" "Sometimes I think she's- she's degrading herself." "You think she is?" "Thanks a lot." "Man, you don't even know that bitch." "She's working." "I'd like to talk to her." "Tell her stuff, that she's cute, and she's got a nice ass." "I'd drive her to brooklyn." "I think she's smart, too." "Hey, martin, how you doing, man?" "Hey, martin." "Looking pretty good." "you make a basket?" "Remember when we met in p company," "Both of us brand new, you started talking to me and stuff?" "Yeah." "Did you see something in me" "That made you want to talk to me?" "Man, I was talking to everybody" "The whole day, man- two whole days." "Just the first person to talk back is all." "The first white person, you mean?" "Anybody here, man?" "Hi, carlyle." "How are you feeling?" "Fine, man." "Where- where's my man, man?" "He ain't here?" "Nobody here?" "Who do you want?" "Where's, uh" "Where's the black boy?" "Roger?" "God, why do you keep calling him that?" "Don't you even know his name yet?" "His name is roger." "Ro-ger." "Yeah." "Where's he at?" "I'm not his keeper, you know." "I'm not his private secretary, you know." "no." "No, I don't know, okay?" "I mean, uh" "Old carlyle made a fool out of himself, you know, the other night," "Coming here talking on and on and shit," "Crying and shit, laying on the floor like he did." "Remember that?" "Yeah." "Yeah, you remember that?" "That's all one night, man, okay?" "That ain't the real carlyle who's in here, okay?" "This here the real carlyle." "Who the real richie?" "The real richie has gone home to manhattan." "I, however, am about to read this book." "there's a chill in here." "It comes down from the hall." "Think I am getting a little cold." "Listen, do you want a cigarette?" "Oh, don't you smoke?" "Do you have to go right now?" "See, I been looking at you real close, man," "It's just a way I got about me." "And I bet" "If I was to hang my boy at you" "My big boy, man" "You'll start wanting to touch it." "Yeah, you'd be begging and talking real sweet to old carlyle." "Am I right or wrong?" "What do you say?" "Pardon?" "You heard me." "Hey, richie, richie, richie, richie," "How long you been a punk?" "How long you been a punk, rich?" "Can you hear me?" "Am I clear?" "Or do I talk funny?" "Can you smell the gin on my mouth?" "If you really did come here looking for roger," "He and billy are right out there playing basketball." "Or there's a poker game going on" "At the end of the barracks if you want to join them." "I got no athletic abilities." "No moves, man, you know?" "I got none, man." "Hey, richie." "I got this question I asked you, man." "I got no answer." ""how long you been a punk?" is the question I asked you." "Can I get a reply?" "Not to that question." "Well, who do if you don't, huh?" "I mean, hey, baby, how am I going to know if" "Oh, listen." "Don't you want to talk to me?" "Don't you want to talk to old carlyle?" "Not at the moment." "Well, I want to talk to you, man." "Play ball, man." "Fuck you, man." "When's the last time you had kp, huh?" "When's the last time you pulled kp, huh?" "I'm e.D." "You're what?" "E.D.?" "E.D., huh?" "Ain't fucking asked you what your friends call you, man." "I asked you when's the last time you had kp." "E.D. Is exempt from duty." "What?" "You ain't got no duties?" "What the shit are you talking about, huh?" "Man, what the fuck you talking about, man?" "Everybody in the army got duties, man." "If you ain't got no goddamn duties, man," "Who got them, huh?" "Me?" "Carlyle, it's just because of my job." "I have a very special job." "And my friends don't call me e.D." "They call me irie." "so what you're saying" "Is that you kissed ass with somebody, right?" "How come you talk so much?" "Goddamn fucking little fuck-face queer." "Carlyle, what is wrong with you?" "You, man." "You're fucking ugly." "You got a nice mouth." "Oh, yeah." "Got a nice mouth?" "You got a fucking weird mouth," "And you like to fucking suck joints, man, huh?" "Hey, what?" "You're just going to run away from me, man?" "You come back now, you hear?" "You'd best." "You come on back, richie, and I'll tell you a good story." "Make you laugh and make you cry, baby." "That's right." "Fuck you, man." "I don't want to play no more." "Yeah." "mm." "Hey, what's happening, baby?" "Where's richie?" "What are you doing on his bed?" "Taking up space." "hey, man." "You know, they send me over to that vietnam and shit, man," "I'll be cool, you know?" "Know why?" "'cause I've been dodging bullets and shit, man," "Ever since I was old enough to get on pussy" "And make it happy to know me." "I'll get old, baby." "I could do my job." "I was just laying here, you know, thinking that," "And you come in, and out it came." "Words to say my feelings." "That's my problem." "Maybe that's the black man's problem altogether." "You ever consider that?" "Too much feeling." "I mean, it's like he too close to everything." "You know, too close to his body, his blood." "Man, it ain't like he got no good mind or nothing." "It's just that he believes in his body." "Hey, richie the only punk in here, or is there more?" "Punk, man." "Is he the only punk?" "He's all right." "Hey, man, I ain't asked you about the quality of his talent." "Is he the only punk is what I'm asking." "You get orders yet?" "For what?" "Tell you where you work, idiot." "I'm p company, all right?" "I do kp." "That's all, all right?" "Don't deserve no more." "You know, I been in this army for three months and ten days," "And everybody is still doing the same shit," "Saying the same shit," "Wearing the same shitty-assed green clothes." "I ain't been happy one day, mister," "And that's a lot of misery back to back in this old boy." "Hey, richie a good punk, right?" "He take care of you and roger, right?" "That's how come all three of y'all are snuggled up" "In the corner of this room like that, huh?" "what?" "Richie." "You and roger hitting on richie, right?" "He's not a queer, if that's what you're saying." "Maybe a little bit effeminate," "But that's all, if that's what you're saying." "I'd like to get some of him myself" "If he's a good punk is what I'm saying." "That's what I'm saying." "Damn, man, ain't you got no fucking understanding" "Of how a man could be a little diplomatic" "About what he's saying, sort of sideways?" "Shit." "We don't do that stuff." "What stuff?" "Listen, I don't feel too good." "If you don't mind" "What stuff, billy boy?" "What stuff?" "What you're thinking." "What am I thinking?" "You know what you're thinking." "Yeah, I know." "I know because it's in my head, man," "But how the fuck do you know, huh?" "Hey, I can see your heart, billy boy," "But you can't see mine." "You just talk fast and keep moving, don't you?" "You don't ever stay still." "Words to say my feelings, billy boy." "Words to say my feelings." "Hey, there he is." "There he be." "Thar she blows." "He's one of them who hasn't come far down out of the trees yet, billy." "Believe me." "Oh, richie, richie." "You got rudeness in your voice." "You got meanness for old carlyle." "You trying to say I ought to leave?" "You don't want me here?" "You came in here looking for roger, who isn't here, right?" "Man, you must have important matters" "To take care of all over the quad." "I can't imagine a man like you" "Not having extremely important things to do" "All over the world, as a matter of fact, carlyle." "Hey, man, don't mind all that shit I say, all right?" "I just talk bad, okay?" "I don't do bad." "I'm just so bored and restless, you know?" "Taking it out on you all, too, you know?" "I mean, I know richie here" "Ain't really no punk, you know?" "Not really." "Just jiving, you know." "Entertaining my own self." "Y'all don't take me serious, okay?" "Not ever." "Okay, I'm going to be cutting out, all right?" "You all be cool." "Man don't do the jive," "And he the one getting jived, you know?" "That's what my little brother mel" "Used to tell me all the time." "Easy, y'all." "Hey, baby." "Y'all playing with 51 cards, man." "The red queen is down there." "Oh, my man." "What's happening, baby?" "What's happening?" "Man, I am going to have to move myself out of here" "If roger decides to adopt that son of a bitch." "he's an animal." "Hey, billy." "What?" "Remember that story you told last night," "After we were in bed?" "What story?" "You know, that story about you and your friend." "What was his name?" "Frankie guy?" "what about it?" "Anybody got a couple bucks I can borrow, man?" "Rog, where you been, man?" "That asshole friend of yours was here again." "Man, come on." "I need $5.00." "I got 5." "I got 10." "You want 10?" "Yeah." "We got to talk about him, man." "We got to talk about him." "Hey, man, I just talked to him." "We're going downtown, man." "He felt real bad about the way he acted" "And how y'all guys done him and stuff, man." "He was falling down apologizing all over the place." "He's got a lot of weird ideas" "About us, roger, I'm telling you." "Well, he's a little fucked up in his head, man," "But he ain't no trouble." "Well, who needs him, man?" "I mean, we don't need him." "I think you're getting a little too nervous." "Nobody said anything about needing anybody." "Damn, man, I been on the street all my life." "I mean, he just brings back home is all, man." "Look, I played me a little bit of ball." "I'm feeling good." "I'm about to take me a shower." "I'm telling you, rog, there's something's wrong with him, though." "Hey, man, every black man in the world ain't like me." "Get used to the idea, man." "Once you get to know him, you're going to like him." "You'll be laughing when he talks his shit, man, just like me." "But you got to relax, man." "Take a shower." "I took one!" "Hoo hoo!" "I'm gonna be a devil maker." "People like a chicken dinner" "From the shack." "Well?" "Well, what?" "That story you told about your friend." "What about it?" "Was it really about you?" "Were you frankie?" "You son of a bitch." "You are really sick, you know that?" "I'm just asking." "Your brain is really, truly rancid." "You know there's a theory now it's genetic," "That it's all a matter of genes and shit like that?" "Everything is not so ungodly cryptic, billy." "You, man." "You and the rot that's making out of your feeble fucking mind." "watch a brother." "Sex, drugs, danger, danger, ah." "Rog, you ain't really going into town with that guy, are you?" "Oh, man, you bet your ass I'm going." "He's got a good head, he's got wheels," "And if you had got any sense, you'd be going with us." "What are you talking about, go with you?" "I just told you, the man's crazy." "And I just told you you're wrong." "we weren't invited." "All right, I'm inviting you." "Well, I'm not going." "Oh, come on, richie." "You sure?" "No, I'm afraid not." "Billy." "Come on, man." "Hey, he's got wheels." "We're going drinking." "See if getting your head real bad" "Don't make you feel real good." "Man, you know what I'm talking about." "I told you, you got him all wrong." "I got him right." "But what if I'm right?" "Oh, billy, billy." "He's waiting on us." "You know you want to." "Jesus, man." "Bad cat like that got to know the way." "I mean, he's been to d.C. Before, man." "He's got cousins there." "He got the wheels for the weekend." "You always talk about not doing nothing," "But you just talk." "Relax, man." "Tonight, be doing it." "Cruise down the strip, bad as we want to." "Take a cigarette butt and flick it out the window, man," "And watch it bounce." "Pick up some cute little bitches," "And if we don't," "He knows a cat house that's full of cats." "You serious?" "You mean you're going to a whorehouse?" "that's disgusting." "Listen to who's talking." "What do you want me to do, stay here with you?" "We could go to a movie or something." "I'm sick of all this talk, man." "Are you guys going to go or you going to stay?" "I don't know." "Billy." "All right, I'm going." "All right." "Yeah." "Billy, you'll be scared to death" "In a cat house, and you know it." "Bullshit." "Hey, billy's got a lion tamer between his legs." "Yo, dude, man." "Hey, my man." "All right." "Yeah, man, like I been waiting all my motherfucking life." "Let's book." "All right." "Billy's coming too, man." "He just got to change." "That's working it." "That's beautiful, man." "Didn't I tell you?" "Yeah, we all going to be friends." "I can see that." "Richie. $10, please." "Pretty please?" "All right, my man." "Come on, baby." "All right, all right, all right." "Let's just say 15." "All right, all right. 20?" "20 is what we're going to make it, my man," "Because that's what I'm going to get back to you." "The hos ain't going to wait." "All right." "All right." "Man, come on." "Hurry up." "Let's go, man." "¶ I'm gonna make you mine ¶" "¶ you and I, yeah ¶" "¶ I'm gonna make you mine ¶" "¶ so come on home ¶" "¶ I'm gonna make you mine ¶" "¶ I'm gonna make you, baby ¶" "¶ I'm gonna make you mine ¶" "¶ I'm gonna make you ¶" "¶ I'm gonna make you mine ¶" "¶ mine ¶" "¶ I'm gonna make you mine ¶" "Right here." "¶ so come on home ¶" "¶ I'm gonna make you mine ¶" "You hide, and I'll find you." "Okay, close your eyes." "I don't know where it was." "It wasn't here." "And we were all in it." "That's what it felt like," "Except we all had different faces." "After you guys left, I only dozed off for a couple minutes," "So it couldn't have been very long." "Roger laughed a lot." "Billy was taller." "I don't remember all the details, exactly," "Except that even though we were the ones in it," "I know it was about my father." "He was a big man." "I was 6." "He was a very big man when I was 6 and he went away." "But I do remember him." "We had money from mom's family," "So he was just always home." "I remember coming back from, I think, kindergarten," "And, as I came up the front walk," "He was coming out the front door," "And he had these suitcases in his hands." "He was leaving, you see." "Sneaking out." "And we just looked at each other," "And I knew." "I started crying." ""don't you cry." "Don't you start crying," he said." "I tried to grab him." "He pushed me down on the grass," "And then he was g-o-n-e." "I can't get this thing." "Does somebody have an opener?" "Hey." "Old carlyle'll get that for you." "that was it?" "I remember hiding my eyes" "And lying in the grass, waiting." "And that was it." "Thank you." "He never came back?" "No." "Ain't that some shit?" "Now here I am, right?" "Jive-time street nigger," "And I knew where my old man was all along." "He were working up at this butcher shop, you know?" "Two blocks up the street." "My old ma, she used to point him out." "She'd say, "there he is." ""there he go." "That's your daddy." "There he is, boy."" "One day, he come up to me." "We're all playing..." "Stickball or something, me and a bunch of friends." "He come up to me and he said, "boy."" "Man, my daddy want to talk to me." "I was happy as a pig in shit, man." "He said, "boy."" ""boy, I ain't your daddy." ""I ain't." "Your mama, she's crazy." ""she don't know what the hell she talking about, boy," "But I ain't your daddy."" "I looked at him, and I said," ""don't you be calling my mama crazy, you hear?" "Don't you call my mama crazy, daddy."" "He didn't know what the fuck to do." "Yeah." "You know, when richie first saw me," "You know, he didn't like me much no how." "But he done thought about it now, you know?" "Changed his way of thinking." "I can see that clear now." "We're going to be one big happy family, right?" "Carlyle likes me, billy." "He thinks I'm pretty." "Mm, mm, mm." "Now wait a minute." "I ain't say you was pretty." "I said you was cute." "You see, a broad is pretty," "But a punk, if he good-looking- then he's cute." "You're cute." "Oh, he's going to steal me right away, billy." "You're so slow." "I prefer a man who's decisive." "just keep it up." "You're going to have us all believing" "You are just what you say you are." "Which is more than we can say for you." "Jive, jive." "You are arrogant, billy." "So arrogant." "Well, what are you?" "On the rag?" "Wouldn't it just bang your little balls if I were?" "man, what is with you?" "Stupidity offends me." "Lies and ignorance offend me." "know where we was, the three of us earlier on?" "All three of us?" "To the wrong side of the tracks, richard." "One good black upside-down whorehouse," "Where you get what you buy, no jive along with it." "So if it's a lay you want and a lay you need, you go." "Or don't they have faggot whorehouses?" "Man, if y'all don't stop this shit," "I'm going to have to go upside someone's head." ""where we was."" ""where we was." listen to him." "Oh, god." "Carlyle, he has more schooling" "Than you've got fingers and toes." "It's this pseudo-earthy quality he feigns." "Inside, he's pure cashmere." "That's a lie." "I'm polyester, worsted, and mohair." "You have a lot of school, billy, and don't say you don't." "You said fingers and toes." "You didn't say "a lot."" "I think people get dumber," "The more they park their ass in some schoolhouse door." "Well, that just depends" "On what the hell you're talking about." "Yeah, well." "I used to know cats back on the block" "Who really knew what was shaking." "Then they go away to some school," "And they come back, and they ain't know" "What the fuck was happening." "billy," "Why don't you and roger go out for a walk?" "What?" "Roger asked you to go downtown." "You went." "You had fun." "I asked you to go, too." "You asked me." "You begged billy." "You took my $20." "You begged billy." "I'm asking you a favor now." "Go for a walk and let me and carlyle have some time." "Man, that's how you all work it?" "work what?" "Whose ever turn it be." "No, no, that ain't the way we work it" "Because we don't work it." "See, there it is." "That goddamn fucking education showing through again, man." "All them years in school." "Didn't we have a good time tonight, man?" "Huh?" "I let you ride in my car, right?" "Show you some good cat houses, all that sweet black pussy." "Ain't we friends?" "How come you don't like me, man?" "Richie likes me, man." "How come you don't like me?" "If you're really doing what I think you're doing, you're a fucking animal." "Hey, billy, no, man." "What, man?" "Just relax." "No point." "Man, I told you, this ain't going on here." "We both told you it ain't going on." "Don't jive me, nigger." "I know what the fuck is happening." "Are you going for a fucking walk like I'm asking, or what?" "Because I'm going to get this shit straight." "we live here." "I live here too, roger." "This is my house, too." "don't you think I know that?" "Did I say something to make you think I don't know that?" "Carlyle is my guest." "All right, fine." "He's your friend, this is your home," "So that means he can stay." "But this don't mean I got to leave." "I'll catch you all in the morning." "roger, what the hell are you doing?" "I'm doing what you should be doing, man." "It's late, and I'm going to bed." "What?" "Just get in the fucking bed." "All you got to do is climb in your rack," "Put your head on the pillow and sleep." "Give me my goddamn pillow." "You've got to be kidding!" "What?" "No, man." "No." "Give me my pillow." "You mean just go to bed?" "Yeah, yeah, that's right." "Man, this shit has been happening so long," "Ain't nothing you can do to stop it." "I don't believe this shit." "You ain't serious, huh?" "What the fuck am I supposed to do, huh?" "Ain't you got no feelings, huh, for a man?" "Ain't you got no feelings for how a man feel, man?" "You's a pair of motherfuckers." "That's it, right?" "You's a pair of motherfuckers, right?" "You're snits!" "Don't you hear me, man?" "Understand the situation here, man." "I thought we had a deal." "All right, all right." "You get on your knees, punk," "And I mean now," "And you going to be on my joint fast" "Or you going to be one busted-ass punk." "roger, I ain't going to have this going on here." "I can't." "Jealous, billy?" "Just go out that door!" "god damn it!" "Just go out that fucking door, both of you!" "Go out in the bushes or some field, man." "See if I care." "But it ain't going on here." "It ain't going on in my house." "You understand?" "I ain't got much in this goddamn army," "But here is mine." "I want my fucking nut!" "I want my nut, man!" "The fuck you so uptight for, huh?" "He wants me." "This boy here wants me." "Richie wants me, man." "Who the fuck are you to stop it?" "Yeah, that's right." "That's right, billy." "Richie one of them white boys" "Want to get fucked by a nigger." "Ain't that right, rich?" "This may be his dream come true." "Make it in the real world how a nigger's an animal." "You hear me, carlyle?" "Hey, I don't give a fuck what he's trying to prove," "Long as I get my nut." "Besides, man, I know I ain't no fucking animal." "I ain't got to prove it." "Lesson number 1, school boy." "You don't see so well what you see in the dark, motherfucker." "who said the lights go out?" "Nobody goddamn asked me if the lights go out!" "I do, motherfucker." "I say so, god damn it." "Can't you just fucking let people be, man?" "I'm going to cut your fucking ass, boy," "Just so you can see how it feel, right?" "And cutting can happen, boy." "This knife is true, sucker." "no, come on, carlyle." "Rog." "Shut up." "come on." "put your hand out, boy." "Put it out." "Don't hurt him, carlyle." "Motherfucker threw a shoe at me, man." "Come on, man." "You don't go through life clean, man," "Thinking you can throw another one." "Put your hand out." "Come on." "Hold your hand out, boy." "Do the fucking thing I say." "Motherfucker!" "yeah, boy." "That's your blood, boy." "The blood inside you." "You don't ever see it." "Take a good look at how it come out, boy." "Enough of it come out, boy," "And you're in the worst goddamn trouble" "You ever seen in your life." "And know I'm the man that can deal that trouble, boy," "As easy as I smile." "And I smile easy." "bastard." "Bastard." "Bastard ruined my mood, richie." "He ruined my mood, man." "Fighting and loving different in the feelings I got." "I see blood come out of somebody like that, man," "It don't make me feel good." "Hurt me, man." "Hurt me, man, put the hurt on somebody" "I thought was supposed to be my friend." "Everything was getting so sweet, too." "One big family." "Shit." "I ain't supposed to know, right?" "One dumb stupid nigger." "No mind, he thinks." "No heart, no feelings or gentleness." "You see how that ain't true, richie, right?" "You see, right?" "Bastard." "Bastard threw a fucking shoe at me, man." "Fucking shoe." "Somebody else would have cut his fucking heart out for less." "But I got to let him know." "I let him know, man." "He throws shit, he gets shit." "I ain't hurt him bad." "You see that, right?" "I ain't hurt him bad." "Jesus h." "Christ." "You know what I'm doing?" "You know what I'm standing here doing?" "I'm a 24-year-old college graduate" "Goddamn intellectual type," "And I got a knife in my hand," "Thinking about coming up behind one black human being," "And I'm thinking nigger this and nigger that." "I want to cut his throat." "That is ridiculous, man." "I never faced anybody in my life" "With anything to kill them." "You understand me?" "I don't have a goddamn thing on the line here." "Look at me, roger." "Look at me." "I got a cut on my palm." "I don't know what happened." "Jesus christ, man, I get sweat all over me" "When I think of what I was near doing." "I mean, you think I need a reputation as a killer?" "A bad man with a knife?" "Bullshit, man." "I need shit." "I got sweat all over me, man." "I got the mile record in my hometown." "I did the mile in 4:42," "And that's the goddamn record in windsor county, man." "I don't need approval from either one of you." "You want to be a faggot?" "A goddamn swish, sucking cocks and taking it in the ass?" "The thing of which you dream?" "Go." "And you." "You want to be a bad-ass animal, man?" "Get it on." "Go." "But I wash my hands, man." "I'm not human as you are." "I put you down." "I put you down." "You gay little piece of shit cake." "Shit cake!" "Fuck you, billy." "And you." "You're your own goddamn fault, sambo!" "Samb" "Out of my way." "Get out of my way." "Hey, man, what's the matter with you?" "nobody talk that weird shit to me, man." "You understand?" "rog," "I think he stabbed him." "He just cut my hand." "That's all." "It just knocked the wind out of me." "Just scared me." "That's all." "Man, are you all right?" "Are you all right, man?" "Did he slit you?" "Come on, man." "Come on." "Let's get up on the bed." "I am on the bed." "No, billy, you're not." "You're not." "Shut up, man." "You're on the floor, man." "We're on the bed, man." "I'm on the bed." "Hey, come on." "Come on." "Are you all right, man?" "Let me just see where he got you." "No!" "Nigger, leave me alone!" "What did you do, man?" "Damn." "Did you slit him or stick him?" "Huh?" "You nigger." "Shut up!" "Oh, man, let me see where he got you." "Ow." "Fuck it, man." "I stuck him, all right?" "I stuck it in, man." "I fucking turned it, okay?" "This fucking army break my fucking heart, man." "If I can't be where there's pretty men," "I don't want to live." "wash me down, shit face!" "shut up." "All right, just shut up." "Shut up." "Shut up, richie." "Just go get help." "Go." "Just go, richie." "Just go." "Go get somebody." "Wh-who?" "I'll go." "Get the sergeant, the od, get anybody." "I forgot my shoes, roger." "Get the fuck out of here." "Roger, I taste my blood." "What does that mean?" "I taste my blood." "What does that mean?" "I'm cold." "It's cold, roger." "I'm cold." "He woke me." "Olly olly oxen free." "I won't talk bad, okay, carlyle?" "Don't cut me anymore." "I couldn't take it, okay?" "Oh, it was you, assholes." "Everybody drunk, huh?" "Sergeant- I don't blame you." "I lost my rent." "where's roger?" "Cokes!" "Roger!" "Sergeant." "Rog- cokes!" "Sergeant rooney?" "Carlyle stabbed billy." "What?" "Carlyle stabbed him." "Wha- who" "Who's carlyle?" "Him." "Who are you, soldier?" "You carlyle?" "What you got there?" "You got a knife there?" "That's cokes' knife!" "That's cokes' trench knife." "What- where's cokes?" "What is going on here?" "Leave me alone, carlyle." "You better watch your step." "You see what I got here?" "You watch your step, motherfucker." "Now, I'm just trying to find out what's going on here." "Now you relax!" "Motherfucker." "Motherfucker!" "Yaah!" "You, god damn it," "I'm going to cut you good." "Aah." "I cut my hand." "I hurt myself." "I cut my hand." "I hurt myself." "Aah!" "I hurt my hand, god damn it!" "Billy!" "Help!" "Billy!" "Don't tell nobody on me, okay?" "Don't tell nobody on me, and I'll let you go." "I'll let you go." "Shit, baby." "Oh, mommy." "How the fuck am I going to get back to the world now, man," "Making all this fucking mess?" "Wh-what happened?" "Don't do it." "Don't tell on me, all right?" "I don't" "Shut up, nigger." "Don't you go talking the weird shit, too, all right?" "Don't you go talking that weird shit, too!" "You hear me?" "No, I won't, no." "Oh, man." "Oh, baby, carlyle." "I'm carlyle, man." "You know me, man." "You know me." "You know me, man!" "Shit." "Sergeant rooney?" "Oh, jesus." "God, what the fuck is going on?" "no, no." "Get up against the bunk." "Get up there." "Call the mp, man." "Get up there!" "Call the mps, man!" "Call the fucking hospital, all right!" "Get up there!" "Get down from that bunk, soldier!" "What the hell's going on here?" "I was asleep." "Get up on the bunk." "Put your hands together." "What's this building number?" "What the fuck's this building number?" "number 320- 362." "What's happened in here?" "The sergeant first class is cut to shit, sir." "Call the ambulance." "Yes, sir." "I've already called an ambulance, sir." "Bring that man down here." "Okay, you watch him." "Move it." "Oh, now, that isn't carlyle." "Get up against the locker." "Move." "What's your name, soldier?" "Hicks, roger." "You the officer of the day?" "Yes, sir." "Lieutenant townsend, sir." "Yeah, yeah, well, put your gun away before you hurt somebody." "Yes, sir." "You stab these men, son?" "No, that's roger." "That's not carlyle." "That man over there said" "Some nigger went crazy with a knife." "I didn't say that word." "Lieutenant, the medics are here." "you the doctor?" "Uh, no, sir, I'm just the orderly." "Dr. Banes is coming." "I'm dr." "Banes." "Check these men." "I think they're dead." "Hey!" "Put your hands up against the locker!" "This man's dead." "You can take him away." "Hey, hey" "Sarge, we got this guy on the street." "He was running like a streak of shit." "that's him." "He did it." "Hey, officer, what's going on here?" "Huh?" "He's got blood all over himself." "What about a knife?" "Did you find a knife?" "You find a weapon on him?" "I found a switch blade on him." "I found this in the bushes nearby." "Jesus christ!" "see now" "Oh, no, no, you're not as smart as you think, officer." "Jesus, god almighty." "Chicken blood." "Chicken blood and chicken heart" "And livers and all that." "See, I was walking along on my way, you know," "And these dudes they jumped out of these bushes, you know," "And they threw it all over me." "Chicken bloods and chicken heart, ain't it ridiculous?" "All right, sit him down there." "Sit him down and shut him up." "You don't understand, you see- I said to shut him up." "Shut up!" "Do what he says." "Could you be so kind as to remove these cuffs?" "All right, all right." "But I'm going to be thinking over here." "Make no mistake about that." "I'm going to be thinking it all over." "I got big planning to do." "I'm going to be thinking over here in my quietness." "what's your name, soldier?" "Douglas, sir." "Richard douglas." "Do you sleep here?" "Yes, I do, sir." "And roger sleeps here, and billy slept here." "That's sergeant rooney." "He's our platoon sergeant." "That's carlyle." "He's a transient, sir." "A sub-transient from p company." "And you had nothing to do with this?" "No, I had nothing to" "Did he have anything to do with this?" "No, he didn't, sir." "And I didn't, either." "It was carlyle who just got into a fight with billy." "He went crazy." "I don't know what they were fighting about." "How - how did the sergeant first class get involved?" "I don't know, sir." "I wasn't here." "I was going to get you." "Sergeant rooney came back." "I don't know why." "Carlyle just attacked him." "Okay, billy was already stabbed." "All right, all right, all right." "Look, I've had enough of this." "Listen, all you guys are going to have be going now, all right?" "Seriously." "Now, if you just kindly remove these cuffs from my hands." "Get me a bus ticket home." "I've quit the army." "You are doing what?" "Sir, I'm not going to be quiet." "I have quit the army." "You shut the hell up, soldier." "Look, sir, I don't understand you people." "Don't you people understand" "When a man is talking english to speak his mind?" "I have quit the army." "Get him out of here." "Hey, look." "Oh, no." "You guys are not going to be doing this to me no more, all right?" "Look, just leave me alone." "Take these cuffs off of me." "I'm staying here." "This is my place." "It's not yours." "Just take these cuffs off of me, please." "My- my little sister lynn sue, she knew all about this." "She told me- get these fucking cuffs off me!" "where's your bunk, douglas?" "Right there." "Get in it." "And you, uh- hicks." "Right here." "Get in bed." "Look, do we really have to sleep here tonight?" "Where else you going to sleep?" "All right, this barracks is sealed off." "Nobody goes in or out." "Mccarthy, secure the back door." "Come on." "Let's get out of here." "We got to write this up." "All right, did you hear him?" "This barracks is sealed off." "No one in or out." "How come you made me waste all that time" "Talking shit to you" "And all that time you was a faggot?" "I mean, you really was, man." "You could've just told old rog." "I've been telling you." "Oh, man." "Jive, man, jive." "All you did is bullshit all over us," "Just bullshit." "I just wanted to hold billy's hand." "He didn't want to." "Ah-ha-ha!" "Hey, hey, what a day, gentlemen." "How you all doing?" "We had a hell of a day, old rooney and me." "We've been playing hide and go seek," "And I was hiding," "And now I think he started hiding" "Without telling me he was going to." "I can't find him." "I thought maybe he was hiding over here, huh?" "Sergeant- uh, no, no." "He ain't here, sergeant." "I got to find him." "He knows how to react in a tough situation!" "He didn't come up here looking for me?" "well, you know, we was going to go to sleep, sarge." "Got to get up early." "You know how this mother army is." "You don't mind I sit here a little, wait on him, huh?" "You can have a little wine." "You can have some." "We can go back into the area." "We've been downtown." "Sergeant cokes" "Let him rest, rich." "hmm, we went to d.C." "To this private club I know." "Had ten or more snorts," "And we decided to come back here" "After playing some snooker." "Yeah, that was fun." "On the way, we picked up this kid" "From the engineering unit hitchhiking." "I saw" " I'm coming around this corner." "All of the sudden, there's this car stopped dead in front of me, man." "I slam on the brakes," "But it's like pudding the way I slide into him." "He wasn't blinking or nothing like that, you know?" "There's just a big bang, and then we yell." "Rooney starts laughing like crazy." "The kid jumps out of the back." "Says he's going to take a fucking bus." "This guy, uh, from the other car," "He's swearing at me." "My car's still running fine," "So I move it off to the side of the road, you know." "I tell him to do the same" "While we're waiting for the cops." "He says his car's going to stay right where it is" "Because he had the right of way" "Because he was making a legal turn." "So we're waiting for the cops." "Some cars go by." "This guy's car" "Was this big fucking buick." "And around the corner comes this little red triumph." "The driver's this blond kid," "Got a little blond sitting next to him." "You can see what's going to happen." "There's this goddamn car" "In the middle of the road with nobody in it." "So the triumph goes crashing" "Into the back of the fucking buick with nobody in it." "Bip, bang, boom!" "Everything stops!" "It's all still." "Everybody's staring." "It's all still." "The fucking buick kind of shudders." "It starts to move" "With nobody in it." "It starts to roll from the impact," "And it just rolls just far enough" "To where the road starts a downgrade." "And it's drifting over to the side of the curb" "And then over it and then onto this hill," "And it's starting to pick up speed" "Because the hill is real steep." "And it just disappears over the side," "Rolling into the dark." "Just rolling real quiet." "Rooney, rooney, rooney" "Rooney falls over." "He's laughing so hard." "I didn't know what to do." "So in a minute, the cops come." "In another minute, some guy comes running up over the hill." "Says some guy's got run over by this car with nobody in it." "We didn't know what to think." "This was fucking unbelievable to us." "Rooney is screaming at me how we got into" "Four goddamn accident fights and got out clean." "And now I can't find him." "I'll just sit here a little, I mean" "Hey." "What's up?" "Why are you crying, soldier?" "Hey." "Why is he crying?" "He's crying because he's a queer." "You a queer, boy?" "Yes, sergeant." "How long you been a queer?" "I don't know." "All of his fucking life." "Don't be talking mean at him." "Ain't two months ago, maybe even yesterday," "I called a kid who was a queer a lot of awful names." "Now I just want to be figuring things out." "I don't know what's hurting in me." "Oh, no, no, boy." "You listen to me." "You're going to be okay." "There's a lot of worse things" "Than being a queer in this world." "I mean, you could have leukemia." "That's worse." "I keep thinking if there was something I could've done" "If it was different" "If I'd have killed more gooks" "Or more krauts" "Or more dinks" "Or if I had a wife, I had kids" "I never had any." "My mother did." "She died of it anyway." "That if I let that little gook out of that spider hole" "He was in I was sitting on" "I'd let him out now if he was in there." "But he ain't." "How am I ever going to forget it?" "That funny little guy." "I can feel him in there, though..." "Bouncing and yelling under me." "Just begging for me to let him out." "Just like a goddamn charlie chaplin movie" "Everybody falling down and clumsy" "And him banging and yelling away under there" "And me just sitting there looking around." "And he was charlie chaplin." "And then he blew up." "Maybe you was charlie chaplin, too, sarge." "Nah." "I don't know who I was." "And then he blew up!" "Do you think he was singing it?" "what?" "Do you think he was singing it?" "Oh, yeah." "Oh, yeah, he was singing it." "Closed-captioned by j.R. Media services, inc." "Burbank, ca"