"[music playing]" "THEME SONG:" "Toxic Crusaders." "Toxic Crusaders." "I had no friends." "No girls'd hug me til I got radioactive ugly." "Toxic Crusaders." "I live in a dump 'cause the rent's real low." "Got a little pet Blobbie who love me so." "Toxic Crusaders." "Now me and the boys fight against wrong." "Now we're hideously deformed." "Hey, I'm sitting on top of the world with my mop, tutu, and girl." "Wow!" "Toxic Crusaders." "Toxic!" "[music playing]" "MALE VOICE (ON RADIO):" "Good morning, Island City!" "This is radio station W-O-P-U, reminding everyone we've got a stage 87 smog alert." "So wear your gas mask." "And remember, don't get caught outside during an acid rainstorm." "It's a horrible way to go." "I love this town!" "Do you know why I love this town?" "Because you own it?" "Because it's the most polluted city in the world." "And I, Dr. Killemoff, made it that way." "Behold, thy evil genius!" "[beep]" "If you love your puppy, give him." "Woof Dog Food... the dog food that makes your puppy woof all over the place." "[woof] [woof]" "I got to get another job." "This guy's a loser." "(YELLING) I have to get this stupid thing fixed!" "[zap]" "Ah." "That's more like it." "Look." "I know you're an evil genius, Doc." "What I don't know is where you want me to dump this Grossolium 90." "Ah, yes." "Grossolium... the deadliest toxic waste known to man." "Dump it in the last unpolluted city in New Jersey..." "Tromaville." "I don't know if that's such a good idea, Doc." "What if some complete and hopeless nerd falls into the Grossolium and transforms into a hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength." "Don't be ridiculous!" "Complete and hopeless nerd." "Oh, I wish I wasn't a complete and hopeless nerd." "Maybe then I'd have a girlfriend who loves me for who I am, or at least confuses me with someone else." "Hey, Bimbette." "Look at Melvin Junko." "What a complete and hopeless nerd." "Yeah." "Got me with a rake." "Melvin's is a real nuclear puker." "[laughs] How about if we have some fun with ole Melvin and show everybody what a bogus geek he is." "[laughs] That's def idea, Bonehead." "What's the plan?" "[splash]" "Whoa!" "[interposing voices] [yelling]" "I can't stop!" "[whir] [whoosh]" "Sorry." "You think he's stupid enough to fall for it?" "[splat]" "Ow." "Never mind." "Yeah." "Catch you later, babe." "Hi, Melvin." "You look really, really cute today." "I do?" "Oh, yeah." "In fact, I think it's time I dumbed scuzzy old Bonehead and started dating a really cute guy like you." "You do?" "Would I lie?" "So what are you doing tonight, huh?" "Well, at 7:00 o'clock I practice burping." "At 8:00, I wax my chicken." "Then from 9:00 to 10:00, I like to smell my armpits." "[gagging]" "How about if you meet me at the pool after the club closes and we get to know each other better." "Know what I mean?" "No." "But I'll be there." "Great!" "Oh!" "Would you also dome one big favor?" "You want to hear me burp?" "No." "I want you to wear a special outfit on our date tonight." "A tutu?" "Oh, gee." "I don't know." "Please, Melvie." "It would mean so much to little Bimbette if big, handsome Melvie-Welviewore the cute wittle tutu." "[kiss]" "Ah." "OK." "If it means so much to you." "[snort] Are you sure you don't want to hear me burp?" "What a moron." "Oh, boy." "This is my lucky day!" "I got a girlfriend!" "Yippee!" "[interposing voices]" "Sorry." "[splash] [squawk]" "Gee, I hope Bimbette thinks I look OK for our date." "Pink isn't really my color." "I hope my mop doesn't clash." "[whoosh]" "Yoohoo!" "Bimbette!" "I'm ready." "Bimbette?" "[laughing]" "I love it!" "[interposing voices]" "You look real good in pink." "[laughing] [interposing voices] [spit] [chatter] [yell]" "[ah] [splash] [laughing]" "I just have the strangest feeling" "I made a mistake sending that Grossolium to Tromaville." "A complete and hopeless nerd?" "Nah." "[laughing]" "Please help me." "I'm changing into something horrible." "I'm changing into a school teacher!" "[yells]" "Oh, no!" "I'm changing into something even more horrible now." "I'm turning into (WITH ACCENT) a movie producer." "[yells]" "Oh, no!" "I'm changing again!" "I'm changing int a..." "A hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength!" "[yells]" "A what?" "Oh." "I got a big problem." "Mom." "It's me, Melvin." "[knocking]" "Melvin, my son." "Oy." "Oh." "[splat]" "Oh, what am I going to do?" "Now that I'm a hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength, where will I even live?" "Try the toxic waste dump." "Thanks, Mom." "I knew I could count on you." "My new home." "Ah, well I guess it isn't so bad." "Look at the bright side." "How many people have a home that glows in the dark?" "What else I little fella why you're a cute little blob see as I told you I know how about well" "Bobby here's where I will live my life all alone with no one to love or care for me but you." "[female singing]" "Hey." "What's that beautiful sound?" "[accordion playing] [splat] [humming]" "(SINGING) The world is a beautiful." "The world is love." "We are brothers and sisters." "Of that I'm pretty sure of." "Hey, sweet thing, you got something we want." "Want to guess what it is?" "[giggles] Gee." "Do I win anything if I guess right?" "I really could use a microwave or maybe a waffle iron." "I'd love a waffle iron." "Oh!" "I know what I need." "How about a socket wrench?" "The new accordion, dumbo." "Give it, now!" "Hey." "This is weird." "Something bad is happening nearby." "I can feel it in my body." "BLONDE GIRL:" "Somebody help me!" "Please!" "Let go of my accordion!" "Now I'm sure!" "Somebody's hurting an accordion!" "Help!" "Hey, you plunks!" "Leave that girl alone." "Oh." "Look fellas." "It's Melvin, the mop boy." "Your days up picking on nerds and accordion players are over, Bonehead." "Let's get him!" "[grunt]" "This'll teach you to mess with a hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength." "[whir]" "Whoa!" "[splash]" "Hey, man." "What's happening to me?" "I can't get out of here." "Feel lucky, punk?" "Not really." "No." "[clatter]" "Oh!" "Are you OK?" "Fine, thanks to you." "I did lose my contact lenses." "So I can't see too good." "Gosh." "You're very handsome." "Boy, this really is my lucky day." "[yelling]" "Yvonne." "Gee, that's a pretty name." "Thanks." "It means pretty girl who walks in sunlight or big, rusty popper scooper." "I forget which." "So what should I call you?" "Well, I used to be called Melvin." "But now that I've had a small accident with toxic chemicals," "I think I need a new name." "[gasp] How about if I call you Chemicals, or Mr. Chemicals, or Bucky Kid, or how about..." "Toxie!" "That's it." "You can call me Toxie." "Uh-oh." "I'm getting that weird feeling again." "Something evil is happening, and it's happening real close." "Help!" "Bad guys are going to destroy our orphanage so they can build a poisonous chemical plant!" "Hm." "Where could that evil be?" "[squeak]" "Huh?" "Hey!" "Bad guys are trying to destroy that orphanage." "That's not right!" "[squeaking]" "And my mop is alive." "I bet that happened when it fell into the toxic chemicals with me." "OK, mop." "Let's you and me clean up this mess." "[squeaking] [whack]" "Have no fear." "Toxie's here." "Let go of her, you creep!" "[smack]" "Oh, thank you Toxie!" "You're welcome, sweetheart." "Now please step aside." "A battle against evil is no place for a little girl." "Whoa!" "Are you all right?" "I'm having a ball!" "[whack] [yelling]" "[gunfire]" "Ha!" "Ha-ha!" "Ah!" "Ha-ha!" "Hey, you shot my tutu." "No I'm really mad." "[gunshots]" "[ugh]" "Wee!" "[gunshots]" "[interposing voices]" "(CHANTING) Toxie!" "Toxie!" "Can you tell our home viewers what just happened here?" "I'm not sure, but I think my new boyfriend talks to his mop." "Oh, yeah." "I'll tell you what happened." "My son, Melvin Junko, who is know a hideously deformed creature with superhuman size and strength, saved those poor orphans from being thrown out of their home." "We understand you name is Melvin Junko." "Not anymore." "From now on my name is Toxie, and I'm a crusader against pollution, crime, and other stuff." "So I guess we could call you the Toxic Crusader." "Hey, yeah." "I'd like that!" "The Toxic Crusader!" "Neat!" "No!" "How could this be happening?" "I know this is." "What did you say?" "Nothing." "He must be stopped!" "This... this Toxic Crusader must be eradicated or all my plans to pollute the world will be destroyed!" "Let me take care of this Toxic Crusader!" "Why should I give you the pleasure of killing him?" "Because he did this to me!" "All right, then." "Do away with him, and you will be well rewarded." "No sweat!" "You can say goodbye to the Toxic Crusader!" "Goodbye!" "(SINGING) I'm a hero." "I'm feeling warm and snuggly." "Got a girlfriend, although I'm all ugly." "I'm a hero." "I'm feeling warm and snuggly." "I'm a... [crying]" "What's the matter, little girl?" "(CRYING) Toxie, my kitty cat's stuck in the tree." "Aw." "Don't cry." "I'll get your kitty down." "Mop, do your stuff." "[squeak] [screech]" "Here you go, honey." "Have a nice day." "[giggles] Thanks, Toxie." "You're the best." "[squeaking] [rumble]" "(SINGING) I'm a hero." "I'm fee..." "Hey!" "What happened to the happy music?" "Oh, well." "BONEHEAD:" "OK, Toxic Crusader." "Get ready to become the Crust Crusader." "Uh-oh I got that old feeling." "Oh, no!" "Look out little girl!" "Look out!" "[rumble]" "Are you OK, Toxie?" "Actually, I'm feeling a little rundown." "He's moving in for the kill." "This is the end of the Toxic Crusader." "I don't know if that would kill him off." "What if old Toxie jumps out of the way and defeats Bonehead with his super-powered mop?" "Don't be ridiculous!" "Are you ready, mop?" "Whoa!" "Wa-hoo!" "Oh, no!" "Bonehead has been defeated by the Toxic." "Crusader's cursed mop!" "I told you so." "What did you say?" "Nothing." "I will have to put an end to this Toxic Crusader myself." "Psycho, prepare my radiation rangers for battle, while I prepare a special weapon just in case." "He still might beat us if he's helped by other hideously deformed creatures with superhuman size and strength." "Psycho!" "I grow weary of your ridiculous ideas." "Sorry." "Bad guys are so stupid." "[knocking]" "Yvonne, it's me, Toxie." "Oh, Toxie, I missed you so!" "Ah!" "Ugh." "Honey, where are ya?" "I'm right here, Yvonne." "Oh, goodie." "I have a surprise for you." "I've got new glasses so I can finally see your gorgeous face." "[gasp] Yvonne, no!" "[scream]" "Oh, I should have known this would happen." "How could a beautiful, intelligent girl like Yvonne ever fall for a hideously deformed creature such as myself?" "But I did fall for you, Toxie." "Huh?" "But the minute you saw how ugly I am, you screamed." "You're not ugly." "You're very handsome." "It's your tie that made me scream." "Now that's ugly." "I mean, more than ugly." "It's gross." "OK." "So she's just beautiful." "Uh, Toxie honey, I don't think I can go out tonight." "I really have to wash my hair." "Can I help you?" "Say your prayers, Toxic Crusader." "Why?" "Am I going to bed now?" "No." "You are going to die for standing in the way of my plans to pollute Tromaville." "But why do you want to pollute Tromaville?" "What good does it do anybody to poison the environment?" "I've always wondered that myself." "It may be poison to humans, but not to the people of my planet Smogula." "Oh, man." "I'm working for a cockroach?" "For Smogulans to take over this planet, the air and water must be first poisoned to our liking." "But if you poison our planet..." "As if we can't do it ourselves... then all human and animal life will die." "What's your point?" "Oh." "I'm definitely in the presence of some big time evil." "My point is this, butthead!" "This is my planet... even though I don't look like I'm from it." "And this is my town, which means it's my job to keep it safe, beautiful, and free from pollution." "Then prepare to die, Toxic Crusader." "Apocalypse now!" "[gunfire]" "I sure could use some help." "[gunfire]" "Excuse me, but, uh, me and my friend are looking for a hideously deformed creature named Toxic." "Have you seen him?" "He's up there." "Oh, yeah." "I see him." "[sneeze]" "Gesundheit." "Thank you." "[grunting] [crash]" "You fools!" "Get him!" "I hate this part." "It's cleanup time!" "Oh, sorry." "[smacks] [grunting]" "Excuse me." "My name's No-Zone." "This is my friend, Major Disaster." "We're both hideously deformed creatures with superhuman size and strength." "Really?" "Me too." "Yeah." "We know." "We saw you on TV and wanted to come join you." "Well, I have to warn you, it's a tough job." "There's no dental plan, and we don't get any piece of our merchandising." "Ah, it's OK." "We just want to fight bad guys." "Great." "You're hired!" "What's Major Disaster doing?" "Uh, he has the power to control to control plants." "It takes him a few seconds to get going though." " Hey." " What's going on?" "[interposing voices] [yelling] [whoosh]" "Hey, that's a cool superpower." "DR. KILLEMOFF:" "Release Aludo." "Destroy the Toxic Crusader and his friends." "[mumbles]" "Uh, look." "It's some kind of living oil slick." "Mop!" "Come back!" "[squeaking]" "Mop hates a mess." "Oh, no!" "That thing ate my mop." "Well, what'll we do now?" "I've got an idea." "Follow me!" "Kitty litter?" "What are we doing with kitty litter?" "Toxie, we're not fighting Heathcliff." "Trust me." "Just empty the kitty litter on the ground." "Now, No-Zone, aim your schnozzle at that thing and use your sweet power!" "You've got it, buddy." "[sneeze] [wind]" "The kitty litter is drying up the oil slick." "[ka-boom] [clink]" "Oh, mop." "Are you OK?" "[squeak]" "DR. KILLEMOFF:" "This can't be happening!" "If it weren't for those other two hideously deformed creatures helping the Toxic Crusader," "I would have defeated him." "I told you so." "Ah!" "[crash]" "Oh, Toxie, I'm so proud of you." "You saved Tromaville." "Of course he saved Tromaville." "He's my son." "He's a hero." "I'm no hero, Mom." "I'm just doing my part to keep Tromaville beautiful, safe, and free from pollution." "Gee." "What an amazing coincidence." "All three of us we returned into hideously deformed creatures with superhuman size and strength by accident." "That's right." "I was a soldier in the Army, and when I fell into a radioactive swamp." "And I was a pilot when I flew through a whole in the ozone and crashed my plane into a silo of radioactive pepper." "[sneeze]" "Gesundheit." "Thank you." "Well, lucky for us, we were all hideously deformed, because now we're The Toxic Crusaders!" "Sounds like a good name for a TV show." "I brought some dinner for you boys." "I made your favorite... burgers." "[giggling] Guess what, everybody?" "I wrote a new song about my brave, handsome boyfriend and his two new buddies." "Listen." "(SINGING) Hideously deformed, super humanly strong, they're the toxic crusaders, and they fight against wrong." "A one, a two, a three!" "(SINGING) We're the Toxic Crusaders." "We're the Toxic Crusaders." "Of that we're pretty sure of." "[sneezes]" "TOXIE:" "Gesundheit." "(SINGING) We're the Toxic Crusaders." "We're the Toxic Crusaders." "Of that, we're pretty sure of." "[theme music] [music playing]" "THEME SONG:" "Toxic Crusaders." "Toxic Crusaders." "I had no friends, no girls would hug me until I got radioactive ugly." "Toxic Crusaders." "I live in a dump cause the rent's real low." "Got a little pet Blobbie, and he loves me so." "Toxic Crusaders." "Now me and the boys fight against wrong, though we're hideously deformed." "Hey, I'm sitting on top of the world." "With my mop, tutu, and girl." "Whoa!" "Toxic Crusaders." "Toxic!" "YVONNE: (SINGING) He left my heart." "[crying] [inaudible]." "You squished my [inaudible] like a bucket of guts." "Do, do, do, do, do!" "That was just beautiful, Yvonne." "Anybody seen my hanky?" "I've got it!" "My hanky?" "No." "The answer to our problems." "I found jobs for all of us." "Jobs?" "Why do we need jobs, anyway?" "We're the Toxic Crusaders." "Yes, but superheroing isn't a very high paying profession, and the landlord wants his rent." "And the medical benefits stink." "Uh, anything for a hideously deformed creature with superhuman size and strength?" "Sort of." "This ad calls for someone who loves children and doesn't mind getting messy." "Close enough." "Yvonne, this job calls for a person with a warm heart and superior musical skills." "[laughter]" "Perfect." ""Looking for someone who really wants to clean up."" "Forget it, Mop." "This one is mine." "Oh, here's one for me." ""Earn big pay." "No heavy lifting."" "What about me?" "Well, how about this?" ""Looking for someone who is outgoing and has a large nose."" "It's a stretch, but I'll try it." "[music playing]" "A riddle is a joke." "A bicycle wheel has a spoke." "The white of an egg is the?" "[buzz]" "Albumen." "Yolk." "I'm sorry, Leo." "The answer is the albumen." "If I wasn't a bad guy, I could really clean up on these shows." "[grunt]" "I don't like this, Killemoff." "That's Dr. Killemoff to you." "[grunt]" "Yeah." "Sure." "I'm sorry, uh, Dr. Killemoff." "It won't happen again." "Anyway, like I was saying, I don't like it, Killem" " I mean," "Dr. Killemoff." "You're talking about messing with the food that little kids love to eat." "I'll give you half the profits." "Deal." "I hate kids, anyway." "This is perfect." "Everyone in Tromaville eats at Burpo Burger." "Yeah, they got great fries." "Exactly." "And once I adjust those fries to my evil purpose," "I'll control the people of Tromaville." "Then no one can stop me from polluting this disgustingly clean little town." "And once I pollute Tromaville, the rest of the world is mine." "What happens if one of the Toxic Crusaders gets a job at Burpo Burger and foils your plan?" "Impossible!" "Imagine a Toxic Crusader working at Burpo Burger." "Ridiculous." "My plan is flawless." "[laughter]" "Yeah." "Even now, the evil Dr. Bender is working on the most dastardly part of my plan." "[laughter]" "[bubbling] [squeak]" "Here, my friend." "One taste of this, and you'll turn into a forgetful, nearsighted old rat." "[singing like elvis]" "No!" "This is the 81st batch, and it still isn't right." "I need to test this right away." "I need a human guinea pig." "I need-- [knocking]" "Aha." "Hey, stretch." "This where the evil genius Dr. Bender hangs?" "Yes." "I'm the evil genius Dr. Bender." "Cool." "I got a telegram from a Dr. Killemoff." "How touching." "He remembered my birthday." "And that's more than I can say for my evil genius mother." "Here's a little message just for you." "Don't dilly dally." "I need the goo." "If you fail, you'll die today." "Sincerely yours, Dr. K." "What kind of a birthday greeting is that?" "Hey." "I don't write em." "I just sing em." "Eh, no matter." "Have some soup." "No, thanks, doc." "I'm a vegetarian." "Why don't you just give me a tip, and we'll call it even?" "[scream]" "Look out!" "Oh, I hate this job, man." "BENDER:" "Ah, look out!" "The atom smasher." "[crash]" "Don't touch anything." "And turn off that infernal radio!" "FENDER:" "Hey, it's your telegram." "[scream]" "Where are we going, doc?" "Egads." "The atom smasher made us into one person." "So unsmash us, man." "I don't know how." "Bummer." "It's going to be a little tough picking up chicks." "Say, do you like sushi, doc?" "I can't wait." "I'm really going to clean up in this job." "You sure are." "And you can start by dusting the window display." "[crash]" "So lady, should I start here?" "Oh, man." "Oh, yeah." "It worked!" "It's become a forgetful, nearsighted old rat." "Like I always say, the 82nd time's the charm." "Oh, what is that goo?" "This isn't just any goo." "This is-- ah!" "My arm." "What's wrong with my arm?" "It doesn't work." "Sure, it does." "Hi, Doc." "Hi." "As I was saying, this isn't just any goo." "Anyone who eats it will turn into a forgetful, nearsighted old person." "Pull off that paper." "I call it Magoop 82." "Gross." "Why'd you make it?" "Because it's exactly what Dr. Killemoff ordered." "[laughter]" "YVONNE: (SINGING) Oh, give to the poor." "Give cause it's right." "If you don't give some now, your big butt he will bite." "Oh." "Come on, guys." "Pick it up." "Tempo, tempo, tempo." "[growl]" "All right, all right." "Sheesh." "Thank you, kind sir." "Ice cream." "Ice cream pops." "[chatter]" "Easy now." "There's enough for everyone." "Oops." "I'll get another." "[music playing]" "BONEHEAD:" "Now be careful with that stuff, huh?" "Spread it good all over the potatoes." "Thanks, Toxie." "I always hated the shirt." "Now I won't have to wear it any more." "Glad I could help." "Toxie, your tromatons are acting up." "Oh, they sure are." "I'd better find out why fast." "Whoa!" "KILLEMOFF:" "It'sworking perfectly." "In just a few moments, my Radiation Rangers will have spread the Magoop 82 over the whole potato patch, seeing my plan into full swing!" "I don't know." "What if the Toxic Crusader's tromatons start acting up, and he shows up and beats all our guys to a pulp?" "Don't be a fool!" "Bonehead is in charge, and I know" "I'm going to be proud of him." "Dr. Killemoff's going to be proud of me, and maybe I'll get a promotion." "Maybe I'll get a raise." "Maybe he'll stop slapping me around." "It's Killemoff's Radiation Rangers." "They're polluting the potato patch with toxic chemicals." "That's un American." "You've got to stop them, Toxie." "Right." "You know what you need?" "A good luck kiss?" "Uh-uh." "A battle cry." "I do?" "Uh-huh." "Something to yell before you do battle that'll strike fear in the hearts of your enemies." "Something like, it's clobbering time or hi-ho silver!" "Hm." "Wait." "I got it." "I hope I don't get hurt!" "[sigh]" "We'll work on it." "Look out!" "It's the Toxic Crusader." "[gunshots]" "Stop him!" "[scream]" "Yeah." "Now finish off the toxic troublemaker." "[gunshots]" "Oh, man." "Now what?" "[groan]" "Mashed potatoes." "You gotta do better than that to beat me." "[gunshots]" "What the?" "Hey!" "What happened?" "Yeah, what happened?" "The mashed potatoes-- they must have clogged up the intake vents on his life support system." "He's overheating." "Oh, yeah!" "BONEHEAD:" "Shoot!" "Shoot, you cowards!" "[inaudible]!" "Back in the truck!" "Quick!" "Hey!" "You think you won, don't you?" "Well, go have some Burpo fries on me!" "[laughter]" "Toxie, you beat em." "No." "I mashed em." "Whatever." "I wonder what they were up to." "Don't worry, Toxie." "I'm sure we'll find out in act two." "Yeah." "[music playing]" "Why do they call them Burpo burgers, Dad?" "Eh, don't ask." "Hi, kids!" "It's me, Burpo's magician." "And we're going to have fun." "(SINGING) Burpo is my name." "Illusions are my game." "And if you think I really stink, I'll say you stink the same!" "Ta da!" "Oh, boy." "Tough crowd." "[slurping]" "Hi, kids." "How about some balloon animals?" "Ta da!" "It looks like a foot." "Well, uh, it is a foot." "You know how hard it is to sculpt body parts?" "I wonder when I get a coffee break." "OK." "This is the first patch of Burpo fries made from potatoes treated with Magoop 82." "Cool." "Burpo fries are the best." "Eh, don't eat those, fool." "Or we'll turn into forgetful, near sighted old men." "Yuck." "I thought they just made you fat." "Enough talk!" "I want results." "Show me that it works." "Chill, chief." "We told the staff here not to eat any of the new Burpo fries, because they were extra special." "So what?" "So of course they ate them right away." "Hey, watch where you're going." "[chatter]" "Excellent." "Uh, excuse me, chubby." "Do you know where the restroom is?" "Oh." "Find it yourself, old man." "Uh, find what?" "Uh, the rest of the Burpo fries will be ready this afternoon." "Perfect!" "Soon all of Tromaville will be full of forgetful, near sighted old people." "And nothing will stop me from making this town my pollution headquarters-- suburban branch." "Like I said before, what if one of the Toxic Crusaders gets a job here and discovers your plan?" "Ridiculous!" "What are the odds of that happening?" "They love me!" "I'm a hit!" "Uh oh." "Looks like the odds are pretty good." "I don't suppose you guys would like some balloon animals." "[crash]" "Ice cream!" "Get it before it gets away." "How's business, Toxie?" "Oh, terrible." "No one likes warm ice cream." "How's your job, Major Disaster?" "I got fired just because I broke a couple of bowls." "I lost my job, too." "They didn't appreciate good music." "MRS. JUNKO: [inaudible]!" "This is great." "I've been going door to door, and I sold five of these babies already." "You might say I'm sweeping the town." "That's great, Mom." "What's your secret?" "I just get in the house, and I tell them it's so heavy that I might have a heart attack if they make me take it out again." "It's the old sympathy game." "I thought the job said no heavy lifting." "This is nothing!" "You should see the deluxe model." "Gotta run." "Lots more to sell." "Let's go see how No-Zone is doing at Burpo Burger." "[chatter]" "Where am I?" "I always wondered why this place had such bad service." "Excuse me." "Have you seen our friend, No-Zone?" "Uh, you mean the funny looking guy with the big nose who sneezes all the time?" "Yeah." "Uh, never saw him." "So where is he?" "I could be wrong, but I think he was taken to the laboratory of an evil genius scientist." "How do you know that?" "Because it says so right here." ""We took your friend to the laboratory of the evil genius Dr. Bender." "Come and get him."" "It's signed, "Your pal, Dr. Killemoff."" "[music playing]" "Eat it, magician." "It's good for you." "Hey!" "If it's that good, I'll eat it myself." "Are you always this stupid?" "I don't know." "Let me think." "Never mind." "Come on." "[music playing]" "What are you doing?" "Don't worry." "We're just getting ready for your friends." "They should be here any minute." "Cool." "A party." "I'll make the dip." "You are the dip!" "Yay!" "The good guys." "Whoa!" "Do something!" "I'm trying." "I'm trying!" "Wow." "What a ride." "You're not a very nice guy." "Or couple of guys." "Or whatever you are." "Say, how about some wrinkle cream, Toxic Crusader?" "Throw it." "No." "He's a cool superhero." "Throw it!" "Ow!" "All right already." "I wish you'd stop doing that." "Holy cow!" "[music playing]" "Ah!" "You idiot!" "[groan]" "I give up." "[buzz]" "You did it!" "I did?" "I'm saved!" "[growl]" "I'm dead." "Yoo-hoo, Toxic Crusader." "I'm in here." "I hope I don't get hurt!" "Yvonne's right." "It needs work." "Sneaky, Doc." "Very sneaky." "[laughter] [beep]" "I'm too young to be old." "Hang on, buddy!" "[bubbling]" "[music playing]" "Hurry!" "It doesn't look good, Doc." "[explosion]" "It's good to be Toxie!" "Hey, now that's catchy." "Let's get out of here!" "Help!" "It thinks I'm lunch." "[music playing]" "Hold on, No-Zone." "We're coming." "Thanks, Toxie." "It was getting awful hot in there." "My hero." "What in blazes is going on here, No-Zone?" "It's this goo." "It turns people into forgetful, near sighted old folks." "Say." "This looks like the stuff Bonehead was spraying on the potatoes in act one." "That's right." "And you know what they make out of potatoes, don't you?" "Sweaters?" "No." "Burpo fries." "The next time they eat, they'll be ordering off the seniors' menu." "BONEHEAD:" "Special on Burpo fries." "Two for one." "Get your Burpo fries!" "Good." "It's not too late." "NO-ZONE:" "Yeah, no one'seating any bad fries yet." "The Toxic Crusaders!" "You guys, mind the store." "I've got an evil plan to carry out." "Attention, everyone." "The evil genius Dr. Bender has put a chemical on the Burpo fries." "If you eat them, you'll turn into forgetful, near sighted old folks." "Baloney!" "Hey, what's going on here?" "[chatter]" "It works." "I'm amazing." "I'm an evil genius." "Evil genius, huh?" "Hey, hi-ya, Toxie." "Say, what's goingon here, anyway?" "Is it senior citizens' day or something?" "Not now, Yvonne." "I'm trying to beatup on a bad guy." "OK, Mr. Evil Genius-- and the other guy-- prepare to be seriously hurt." "Uh, yeah, yeah, in a minute." "Who's the rad babe?" "Who?" "Yvonne?" "She's my beautiful, though some what light girlfriend." "You've got a girlfriend?" "I may be a hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength, but I am a good guy." "I knew we should have been a good guy." "The bad guys never get the chicks." "That's the first smart thing you've said this whole episode." "Say, ready for that beating now?" "Eh, forget that." "We want to be good guys now." "Yeah!" "We want to be Toxic Crustaceans like you guys." "As long as we get to hang out with cool babes like Yvonne." "Well, I can't promise anything, but she does have a sister." "Good enough." "We're good guys now." "Not so fast." "I mean, you're certainly hideously deformed enough, but I think you should at least come up with an antidote to help all these poor people before we let you be a Toxic Crustacean." "Crusader." "Whatever." "But there is no antidote." "I just love Burpo fries." "Anybody want some?" "Yvonne, no!" "Hey, there's something wrong with these fries." "Whoa!" "They taste like-- like-- Bubble gum?" "I don't get it." "She ate the same fries as everyone else." "Yeah." "How come she's not old?" "I'll tell you a secret." "I don't eat em plain." "I like to put pepper on em." "That's it." "Pepper!" "Pepper is the antidote." "It turns the Magoop 82 into bubblegum!" "And pretty tasty at that." "OK." "I've found the antidote so are we Toxic Crusaders or what?" "Well, actually, Yvonne found the antidote, but what the hay?" "Rad." "Attention, everyone." "Put pepper on your fries, and you'll turn back to normal." "[snoring]" "We'll help them later." "We've got to stop Dr. Killemoff from spraying all the vegetables with Magoop 82." "Even the broccoli?" "Yep, even the broccoli." "Ooh, now I am mad." "[helicopters approaching]" "In a few minutes, every vegetable will be covered with Magoop 82." "And Tromaville will be mine." "Unless the Toxic Crusaders come up with an antidote." "You know, I'm really sick of you." "[gasp]" "We're too late." "We'll never stop em." "We're not done yet." "What's that?" "Pepper." "Oh, no." "I hate pep-- pep-- pepper." "Ready?" "Drop!" "Tromaville is mine!" "Next stop-- the world!" "[laughter]" "TOXIE:" "Give it all you've got, buddy!" "Ah-- ah-- ah-- [sneezing]" "Gesundheit." "What's that?" "It looks like bees." "PSYCHO:" "It looks like antidote to me." "KILLEMOFF:" "No!" "No!" "PSYCHO:" "Yes, yes." "Whew." "You did it, No-Zone." "You saved the vegetables." "Even the broccoli." "[crash]" "We did it!" "Yay!" "All right!" "Way to go!" "Tubular." "I hope everyone likes their vegetables well done." "I hate those Toxic Crusaders." "MAJOR DISASTER:" "Now that you're a, uh, Toxic Crusader, what do we call you?" "Well, I'm Fender." "I'm Bender." "Gee, that's kind of confusing." "We need just one name for both of you." "Ow." "Ha!" "That's it." "We'll call you Headbanger." "Why?" "And although it looks like none of us can hold down real jobs-- except Mom, of course-- we have our newest Crusader to thank for inventing the product that's going to make us all rich and famous." "Gentlemen." "Introducing the newest, the best" "The coolest bubblegum ever invented." "We call it-- Magoop 83." "[applause]" "I even wrote our new jingle." "(SINGING)" "Oh, yeah, Magoop 83 is the bubblegum for me." "Blows bubbles big and bold, and it won't make you old!" "[music playing]" "(SINGING) Oh, yeah, Magoop 83 is the bubblegum for me." "Blows bubbles big and bold, and it won't make you old!" "Oh, yeah, Magoop 83 is the bubblegum for me." "It blows bubbles big and bold, and it won't make you old." "[music playing] [music playing]" "THEME SONG:" "Toxic Crusaders." "Toxic Crusaders." "I had no friends, no girls would hug me until I got radioactive ugly." "Toxic Crusaders." "I live in a dump cause the rent's real low." "Got a little pet Blobbie, and he loves me so." "Toxic Crusaders." "Now me and the boys fight against wrong, though we're hideously deformed." "Hey, I'm sitting on top of the world." "With my mop, tutu, and girl." "Whoa!" "Toxic Crusaders." "Toxic!" "[music playing]" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "It all started on Island City, the home of that notorious bad guy known as Dr. Killemoff." "At last, the moment is at hand." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "At last, the moment was at hand." "Soon hordes of pollution-breathing aliens from the planet Smogula will be arriving to take over Tromaville." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Soon hordes of pollution-breathing aliens from the planet Smogula would be arriving to take over Tromaville." "Is there an echo in here?" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Oops." "Maybe I better let this story unravel by itself." "Maybe you'd better." "I must arrange a suitable landing site for my fellow Smogulans." "Any suggestions, Mayor Grody?" "[grunt]" "Uh, what about the Tromaville old folks' home." "It's spacious, convenient, and you can walk to the supermarket." "Smogulans don't have feet." "They have little wheels." "That's even better." "All the curbs at the home have wheelchair ramps." "Yeah, boss." "And the old geezers will be a cinch to throw out." "[hiccup]" "Bonehead is right." "I remember how easy it was to throw my own dear mother out of the house." "She weighed practically nothing." "I like it!" "Psycho, fill the spray tanks with pollution solution." "Bonehead!" "Take a platoon of Radiation Rangers, and toss those old duffers off the property." "Yeah." "And you said there was no fringe benefits to this job." "I'm worried, boss." "Like, what if the Toxic Crusader's mom happens to be friends with one of those old biddies, and she calls on theToxic Crusaders to help?" "And he and his fellow mutant creatures kick butt on our Radiation Rangers?" "What a preposterous idea!" "No wonder they call you Psycho." "Who dumped this mess?" "Quit complaining, Major Disaster." "You're winning all the chips." "[monster noises]" "Yeah, but Blobbie keeps eating them all." "Hey, man." "Like, quit scoping out my cards, OK?" "These aren't your cards." "They're my cards." "Says who?" "Says me." "Oh, yeah?" "Ow!" "Slap me, will you?" "Ouch." "Oh, yeah?" "Well, take this one." "[fighting]" "Headbanger, stop!" "If entire nations can learn to get along, why can't one two-headed person?" "[groan]" "Let me sing you a little song that expresses it a lot better than I can." "I wish she'd find someone who can sing a lot better than she can." "(SINGING) Folks should like each other like a mother likes her brother and a mister likes his sister and a father-in-law likes his-- and a father-in-law-- father-in-law likes his-- his-- oh, well, you get the idea." "Wait, everyone." "My tromatons are sending me a warning." "I sense that something evil is a foot in our beloved town of Tromaville." "YVONNE:" "Aw, poor little Toxie-woxie." "I bet you're just jealous, because I didn't sing a song for you." "No, Yvonne." "It's something a lot worse than your singing." "[laughter]" "Is that possible?" "Definitely." "This will make you feel all better." "(SINGING) Oh, his friends all call him Toxie, and he's got a lot of moxie." "He don't come from Billow-oxie, but it's the only city that rhymes!" "[screeches] There." "Feeling better?" "You mean since you stopped?" "Lots." "[laughter]" "Never better." "Gosh." "Trading my dog for this accordion at that swap meet was the smartest move I ever, ever made." "[music playing]" "MAYOR GRODY:" "That's it." "Keep the line moving." "We got a dozen more vans to fill before-- [burp]" "Lunch break." "Oh, Mayor Grody, you can't do this!" "I can do anything I want." "I'm His Honor, the mayor." "But some of my best friends are moldy oldies." "Look, lady, this is official city business." "So butt out!" "Oh, unless, of course, you are a registered party voter." "[hiccup]" "In which case, have a little leftover jelly donut?" "I'll never be that hungry." "You'll pay for this, even if I didn't." "I'm telling my son, the superhero, on you!" "Radiation Rangers?" "Here in Tromaville?" "Carting away all the old folks in moving vans?" "Yeah, and they're not even using the kind with those heavy pads." "So that's why my tromatons were doing the lambada." "They knew they were in the presence of some great evil." "Fellas, it's time for us to dish out a little justice." "Toxic Crusader style." "All right." "Excellent notion, Tox-Man." "(SINGING) We're the Toxic Crusaders." "We're the Toxic Crusaders." "Of that we're pretty sure of." "We're the Toxic Crusaders." "Boys." "They're always fighting and kicking and punching." "Why couldn't I have had a little girl?" "PSYCHO:" "Come on." "Move it, people." "Move it." "BONEHEAD:" "Yeah." "Pretend like you're going to visit your grandchildren." "TOXIE:" "That'll be just about enough of that." "[grunt]" "Who said that?" "We did!" "The Toxic Crusaders?" "In the hideously deformed and mutilated flesh." "Come on, bozos." "Let's rumble." "That means fight!" "I know that." "I may be Psycho, but I'm not stupid." "Radiation Rangers, front and center." "[scream] [crash]" "It's OK, guys." "This is on me." "[music playing]" "Hey, let's see you mutilated morons try that on me." "I'll handle this." "Whoa!" "[grunt]" "What-- what are you guys doing?" "You're going on a little space ride, man." "Ready to peel?" "Three, two-- blastoff." "[scream]" "TOXIE:" "Don't worry." "Those awful people won't be bothering you anymore." "Is that a promise?" "Cross my hideously deformed heart." "Oops!" "Toxic Crusaders, to thank you for rescuing us and protecting the environment, we've prepared a special celebration dinner." "Cool, Daddio." "Uh, I mean, Mammio." "We're serving powdered eggs with mashed potatoes." "And for dessert, some graham crackers dunked in hot cocoa." "If you need em, I'll even donate my extra set of teeth to chew it with." "Whoa." "My stomach just did a full gainer." "Sometimes you really embarrass me." "It sounds mighty tempting, but we hideously deformed creatures of superhuman size and strength have to avoid rich foods in order to maintain our fighting edge." "I would like the teeth, though." "They come in handy for pulling pins out of hand grenades." "[music playing]" "Once again, those Toxic Crusaders have destroyed my best laid plans." "I told you so." "(ANGRILY) You did what?" "Uh, I mean, wow." "What an unexpected turn of events." "Now how can I get rid of those meddling mutants while I carry out my plan?" "What about an all expense paid vacation on a tropical island?" "I have it." "We'll offer the man all expense paid vacation on a tropical island." "What tropical island?" "Why, this tropical island, of course." "It's nice of the post office to send this stuff air mail." "They have to." "What mailman in his right mind would enter this dump?" "You're right." "Rain and snow and gloom of night is one thing, but toxic schmutz-- forget it." ""Congratulations." "You're the lucky winner of an all expense paid vacation at Club Fred."" "Oh, wow." "Totally triumphant, man." "A freebie vacation." "Bender, you're a scientist." "What are the odds of four hideously deformed creatures of superhuman size and strength all winning the same contest?" "It's got to be at least 11 to one." "We better start packing our meager belongings." "They've taken the bait." "The Toxic Crusaders don't know it, but for them, Club Fred will soon turn out to be Club Dead." "[laughter] [music playing]" "Six miserable palm trees?" "Is that all the foliage you could find?" "Hey, don't blame us, boss." "Palm trees don't grow on trees, you know." "The Toxic Crusaders will be arriving this afternoon." "We must disguise this island to look like a Club Fred." "Trust me, boss." "Those bozos are so stupid, they won't even know the difference." "I don't know, chief." "What if every trick we pull on them backfires because their sweet natured innocence protects them, and we end up getting clobbered instead?" "Are you starting it again?" "Just a thought." "Forget I said anything." "[cheers]" "They like us." "They really like us." "It's something we superheroes must learn to live with." "Oh, Toxie, I'll miss you so." "Give me a hug, you big lug." "A hug?" "You bet." "Oh!" "I simply melt when you hold me." "Sort of like those plastic flowers you brought me?" "YVONNE:" "Exactly." "Way cool." "They sent us our own personal hovercraft." "[scream]" "Bye, Yvonne." "Bye, Mom." "Always wear clean underwear!" "You never know when you'll get run over by a golf cart." "(SINGING) Welcome to Club Fred, our own tropical island." "We serve breakfast in bed." "We know you'll go home smiling." "Hm." "There's something familiar about those two guys." "I got a nose for those things." "Hold on." "This is no tropical resort." "It's Island City." "What vile scheme is Dr. Killemoff up to this time?" "[laughter]" "Scheme?" "No scheme, honest." "He decided to go time share condo with the place." "Some kind of tax shelter." "And speaking of shelters, wait til you guys see your luxurious suite." "BONEHEAD:" "Well, what do you think, huh?" "This is a luxury suite?" "A radioactive chemical container in the middle of an oozing swamp, bubbling with poisonous gases?" "We wanted you to feel at home." "And look at the way it glows." "You won't have to leave alight on when you go out." "And believe me, we intend to go out a lot." "KILLEMOFF:" "Splendid!" "With those dimwits here on the island, my Radiation Rangers will be able to take over Tromaville without interference." "Attention, attack helicopters, activate the full scale invasion of Tromaville." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "While we were off enjoying our Club Fred vacation, a stranger appeared in Tromaville whose arrival would change our lives forever." "[music playing] [whistling]" "You guys are just going to love hang gliding." "Yeah." "You're going to love it to death." "[laughter]" "I just know I know these guys from some place." "Oh, No-Zone, you're just imagining things." "How come you're doing all that sawing?" "Uh, uh, um, well, that's just to lighten the load." "When you're four man hang gliding, every ounce counts." "OK." "All done." "All right." "We're ready." "Show us how you do this." "Now pay close attention." "You grab onto the main strut like this, and then you-- [scream]" "Maybe we better practice that, fellas." "[scream] [snap]" "Yow!" "Yow!" "Killemoff ain't going to like this." "Oh, and like I do." "[music playing]" "Hello there, uh, you must be the Toxic Crusader's mom." "I can see the resemblance." "Well, you have your nerve." "I, uh-- uh, I only meantit in the nicest sense." "Oh, well, in that case, thank you." "I'm looking for your son." "He's away at a Club Fred resort enjoying a well deserved vacation." "Aw, I'll try again another time." "You-- you've been real kind." "Oh, and one more thing." "Yeah, yeah, yeah?" "Stay off my lawn!" "Bad dog!" "[barking] [crash]" "OK." "All set." "This is really going to blow those Toxic Crusaders away." "You're just in time." "Here they come now." "Yo, honored guests!" "Come on over here." "What's up?" "We want to take a picture of you guys." "Epic notion." "Maybe later we could have it blown up." "[laughter]" "You don't even have to wait." "You can be blown up right now." "What a strange looking camera." "Hm." "An Instablastic." "I think I've heard of them." "It's one of those 35 millimeter jobs." "Right a 35 millimeter Cannon." "But first, let's take a snapshot of you fellas." "No, don't!" "Stop!" "That's it." "Wave.-No, wait!" "Stop, stop!" "No pictures!" "Stop!" "[blast] [explosion]" "Boy, these new cameras sured on't like it if you move." "[chatter]" "Uh, sorry to disturb you, folks, but how do I get to Club Fred?" "[scream]" "Don't be afraid!" "I don't bite!" "See?" "My tail is wagging!" "[whimper]" "Maybe these people know." "Hey, fellas." "I'm looking for a club named Fred." "Is it this way?" "Or is it that way?" "Oh!" "When can a bad guy get a break around here?" "You guys willreally enjoy this." "It's called wind surfing." "Bye bye." "Whoa!" "What a joke." "Those dum dums don't know it, but they're headed straight for 10 tons of nuclear explosives!" "Pretty neat, huh?" "Hang 10, Bender!" "OK." "I'll hang five, and you hang five." "All right!" "We got em this time." "[music playing] [panting]" "I'm looking for the Toxic Crusader." "Hey!" "What's that?" "[scream]" "Whoa!" "What's happening?" "I don't know." "Something's pulling us away." "Uh oh." "Let's move." "(STUTTERING) What does it look like I'm doing?" "[crash] [scream]" "It's Bonehead and Psycho." "I told you there was something familiar about those guys." "We'd better go tell Killemoff about this." "No need to, you dipsticks." "Dr. Killemoff already knows." "I don't know who you are, but thanks." "The name's Junkyard." "Us hideously deformed critters have to help one another in this crazy world of ours." "So tell us." "How did you become hideously deformed?" "Do we have time for a flashback?" "Aw, sure." "It'll take Killemoff a while to come up with a new scheme to destroy us." "It-- it happened some time ago." "It was a dark and stormy night." "FENDER (VOICEOVER):" "Man, how come all dogs start their stories the same way?" "BENDER (VOICEOVER):" "Let him finish, Fender." "Speak, Junkyard." "[barking]" "No, no, no." "I mean, speak." "JUNKYARD (VOICEOVER):" "Oh." "Well, like I was saying, it was a dark and stormy night." "I was working the night shift at the junkyard-- that's me on the right-- when this hobo crawled in to keep dry." "[thunder]" "The toxic ooze had fused us together." "I was now half bow wow and half bum." "Now that I could read, I discovered newspapers were good for more than just house-training puppies." "I read about Tromaville, the town where all hideously deformed creatures of superhuman size and strength seem to end up." "Whoa, you finished that flashback just in time." "Look what's coming." "MAJOR DISASTER:" "Apocalypse attack helicopters." "And look over there." "Radiation Rangers!" "As a former military man, I'd say we're surrounded." "Toxic Crusaders, let's fight for decency and honor." "We could really use some heroic music about now." "[music playing]" "That's more like it." "[music playing]" "What has four wheels and flies?" "An apocalypse garbage truck." "[crash]" "A tree!" "I need a tree!" "Nah, it's not what you're thinking." "[music playing]" "[crash] [crash]" "That does it!" "No more Mr. Affable Alien." "Now we get down and dirty!" "Psycho!" "Bonehead!" "Where are you?" "Here, Dr. Killemoff, right next to the Polluto tank." "An excellent stroke of geographic good fortune, because I want you to release it this instant." "Polluto?" "The giant oil slick?" "But don't you remember?" "It got blown up in the first episode." "And it's still pretty ticked off about the whole thing." "[monster noises]" "KILLEMOFF:" "I said, release Polluto!" "OK." "You're the doctor." "[monster noises]" "Sic him, fella." "[monster noises]" "Uh oh." "Polluto is headed right for us." "I thought he got blown up in the first episode." "Ew!" "What a gross out, man." "Those noises sound just like an upset stomach." "Giant antacid pills to stop a giant oil slick?" "You know the saying." "You're got to fight heartburn with fire." "Or something like that." "Ready?" "Set." "Throw!" "[monster noises] [burp]" "[burp]" "Whoa!" "The Toxic Crusaders rule!" "Repeat after me." "I, Junkyard, promise to obey all the rules of the Toxic Crusaders." "I, Junkyard, promise to obey all the rules of the Toxic Crusaders." "And to stay off the furniture." "And to stay off the furn-- hey!" "Just fooling." "(SINGING) For-- for he's a jolly good Fido." "For he's a jolly good Fido." "For he's a jolly good Fido, which nobody can deny." "No!" "[music playing]" "Hurray for Junkyard!" "And this will be your own special house." "Gosh." "[sniffing] [bark]" "I got so much to learn from you guys." "We can both learn from each other." "In fact, you've already taught us a valuable lesson." "I have?" "Me?" "What?" "Let's show him, fellas." "[barking]" "Oh, that's good." "[chatter]" "[music playing] [music playing]" "THEME SONG:" "Toxic Crusaders." "Toxic Crusaders." "I had no friends, no girls would hug me until I got radioactive ugly." "Toxic Crusaders." "I live in a dump cause the rent's real low." "Got a little pet Blobbie, and he loves me so." "Toxic Crusaders." "Now me and the boys fight against wrong, though we're hideously deformed." "Hey, I'm sitting on top of the world." "With my mop, tutu, and girl." "Whoa!" "Toxic Crusaders." "Toxic!" "[music playing]" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER): it all started one peaceful day in the Tromaville Public Park." "Major Disaster, Junkyard, and I were just kicking back and relaxing." "[sigh]" "It's rare when hideously deformed creatures of superhuman size and strength like us can have a day off." "It sure is, Junkyard." "More breeze if you please." "Ah, what a life." "We're young." "We're free." "And we're radioactive." "Who could ask for anything more?" "WOMAN:" "Help!" "Help!" "That sounds likea lady in distress." "Well, what are we waiting for?" "Let's go!" "Oh, help me, someone!" "Help me!" "I was right." "It is a lady in distress." "She's not in distress." "She's in di-surgeon's gown." "That's because I'm a tree surgeon." "Now please, rescue me!" "I'll handle this." "Oh, how did you do that?" "Uh, I have a way with vegetation." "So do I. That's why I'm a tree surgeon." "Elma Oakley's the name." "I'm Major Disaster, and, uh, these are my fellow mutated mates, Toxie and Junkyard." "How are you?" "Uh, won't you take off your mask so I can see what you look like?" "[laughter]" "Well, if you insist." "Why, you're-- you're kind of plain looking." "You're no Tom Cruise yourself." "But that's OK." "I" " I think I'm in love with you, anyway." "Where'd that music come from?" "From Russia." "It was written for some ballet." "Well, I've got to be running." "I've got so much to do before Arbor Day." "Arbor Day?" "That's when everyone runs around planting trees." "And trees are nothing to be sniffed at." "There's so much poor, defenseless vegetation that needs looking after." "Fellas, I think I'm in love with Elma." "Do you suppose she'd go out on a date with me?" "The answer is yes." "All right!" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Meanwhile, in Island City, the evil Killemoff was up to another of his villainous schemes." "KILLEMOFF:" "That's Dr. Killemoff to you!" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Sorry." "The evil Dr. Killemoff was up to another of his villainous schemes." "KILLEMOFF:" "That's better." "Behold, Bonehead." "The answer to all my problems." "Here." "Test it yourself." "[sniffing]" "Nah." "I'm OK." "I'm wearing one of those 30 day deodorant pads." "It isn't a pitspray, you dunce." "It's something for my home planet of Smogula." "It's called Smog in a Can." "Watch." "Ah." "Delightful, isn't it?" "It brings the outdoors indoors." "[coughing]" "Yeah." "I noticed that subtle hint of mint." "Here it is, Dr. Killemoff, the bonsai tree you asked for." "Splendid, Psycho." "Watch closely as I demonstrate Smog in a Can's special side effects." "[music playing]" "Ta da!" "Instant smog?" "Exactly." "It mutates the process of photo synthesis so that instead of producing oxygen, the trees produce thick poisonous, gorgeous smog." "I must go into full scale production immediately." "What if there are no factories left in Tromaville, and you have to shmear Mayor Grody in order to find someplace to manufacture it?" "Psycho, you are such a worry wart!" "Mayor Grody." "[gasp]" "Uh, Dr. Killemoff, what a pleasant surprise." "Skip the inanepleasan tries, Grody." "Have you located a factory for me to manufacture my Smog in a Can yet?" "Uh, finding just the right location isn't easy, you know." "Would a $500 contribution to your campaign fund speed things up?" "Hey." "Hey, wait." "It suddenly hit me." "Uh, the chewing gum factory I sold to the Toxic Crusaders." "Excellent." "Dispossess them immediately." "[laughter]" "What delicious irony." "Using the Toxic Crusader's very own factory to manufacture the means of their own destruction." "[laughter]" "I never realized he was such a good dancer." "Yeah, you gotta hand it to Killemoff." "He's just one jump ahead of everybody." "Yeah." "You'd think he wasa giant grasshopper instead of a cockroach." "Uh oh." "Hey, here comes one of those toxic creeps." "Let's split." "[humming]" "Ha, ha." "La, la." "I'm in love with a wonderful tree surgeon." "And you thought Dr. Killemoff was the only good dancer in this show." "[music playing] [laughter]" "Oh, there you are, Major." "I picked these just for you, Elma." "[sneezing]" "Sorry." "I've got a major allergy to flowers." "Gesundheit." "Uh, that's funny." "Uh, me, too." "[sneezing]" "Uh, gesundheit." "Uh, we have so much in common." "This is a great date." "Hm, there's something wrong with this tree." "How bad is it?" "It's major, Major." "Major." "It's suffering from bark blight." "Heck, I can fix that easy." "How?" "By changing your name?" "You see, ever since my toxic accident," "I've had this special power over plants and trees." "Step aside, and I'll demonstrate." "[gasp]" "I can't believe it." "My powers of healing are gone." "Oh, I'm so humiliated." "I could never look another green thing in the face again." "[crying]" "Wait, Major!" "Come back!" "I had no idea hideously deformed creatures of superhuman size and strength were so sensitive." "Well, what do you know?" "This stuff Killemoff invented actually works." "Maybe." "But I still say something's bound to go wrong with this idea." "Oh, yeah, like what?" "Like that, for starters." "I'm so embarrassed." "I've lost my ability to control plant life." "All right, so you got a brown thumb." "Last week I drowned a fern by over watering it." "Does that make me a bad person?" "No." "Just a bad person to come to for comforting." "Don't you understand?" "I humiliated myself in front of the first date" "I've had since my nuclear accident." "Ah, there's no reason to sulk." "If Toxie lost his special powers, I'd still love him." "Of course, that wouldn't leave us with much of a show." "Let me sing you a song I wrote on that very subject." "Please, Yvonne, hasn't he suffered enough?" "(SINGING) When a woman loves a man, she gives it all she can." "Even when he loses his powers, she'll stick by him sometimes for hours." "[groan]" "I knew that would make you feel better." "[rumbling]" "Whoa!" "It's a full fledged tromaton attack." "[gasp]" "That usually means that evil's brewing somewhere nearby." "Exactly." "But where's it coming from?" "It's coming from the bubble gum factory." "Oh, no." "Not the bubblegum factory that Mayor Grody sold you so you could become self-sufficient superheros and no longer have to live on handouts and could hold your heads up high, and we sure covered a lot of back story in one sentence." "That's the one." "Come on, Major Disaster." "We've got a job to do." "I know it's not much of an act break, but it's the best we could come up with on such short notice." "[music playing]" "ANNOUNCER:" "And now these messages." "[music playing]" "We now return to the Toxic Crusaders." "[music playing]" "TOXIE:" "What do you think of our slogan?" "It's toxic, but it's tasty." "It's catchy, but it's kooky." "MRS. JUNKO:" "Get ready, everyone." "We're about to turn out our first batch ever of Toxic Crusaders chewing gum." "All set down here, Toxie's mom." "Wow, Bender, my man, hold on." "Whoever heard of grey bubblegum?" "Oh, Fender, you're such a traditionalist." "Here, let me add a pinch of pepper." "Way to go." "Now you're cooking." "Colorizing our bubblegum." "Who does he think he is?" "Ted Turner?" "We're about to start the assembly line." "Fire when ready, Toxie's mom." "[inaudible]" "I'll explain the process as we go along." "Gum enters a bin known as the goop cutter, which cuts it, then feeds it onto a roller thingamajig." "Then this other gizmo chops it into slices." "Then this whatchama call it wraps it up with a card." "And this gadget catches it." "I hope this hasn't been too technical for you." "And best of all, the cards have our pictures on them." "Totally turbo, don't you think?" "[crash]" "Oh, sorry." "I really must have my brakes adjusted." "[laughter]" "Bonehead!" "You did this on purpose!" "You'll pay for this, young man." "No way, lady!" "Hey!" "That's no lady!" "That's Toxie's mom." "Get with the program, folks." "Mayor Grody just condemned this factory." "You got five minutes to clear out." "But how can he sell us this place, then throw us out one episode later?" "I don't know." "I guess it's how long it took for the check to clear." "OK, guys." "Waste this place." "Ah-- ah-- ah-- ah-- [sneezing]" "It sure is sad." "All our dreams popped, chewed up, and spit out like-- like-- well, like bubblegum." "Help!" "Don't worry." "I'll handle this." "[squeak]" "Sorry." "I mean, we'll handle this." "[music playing]" "Oh, no." "I must save him." "Gotcha!" "[gasp] [grunt]" "BONEHEAD:" "Hey!" "FENDER:" "Ew, yuck, man." "This is epic." "It was all a dream." "I was dreaming I shared my bod with some moldy old scientist." "I'm having the same dream." "Only in my case, it's a nightmare." "OK, troops." "Back to headquarters." "By the way, anyone know where there's a drive-through tank wash around here?" "[chatter]" "Some good neighbors you are." "What do we do now, fearless leader?" "Are you talking to me?" "Do you see any other fearless leaders around here?" "I guess not." "OK then." "I say we go straight to Mayor Grody's office and demand some action." "OK!" "Let's do it." "(SINGING) We're the Toxic Crusaders." "We're the Toxic Crusaders." "Of that we're pretty sure of." "Wait." "We forgot something." "It's probably me." "I was never very good at remembering lyrics." "No, I mean Mom." "Didn't we leave her back in the factory?" "I think so." "No wonder I'm feeling so guilt free." "(SINGING) We're the Toxic Crusaders." "We're the Toxic Crusaders." "KILLEMOFF:" "Ah, my plan is working brilliantly." "Soon those interfering Toxic Crusaders will be but a memory." "(SINGING) We're the Toxic Crusaders." "Of that we're pretty sure of." "[laughter]" "Hm." "Heartbeat-- highly irregular." "This is one sick sycamore." "[gasp]" "Well, no wonder." "It's surrounded by its own personal smog bank." "Even the Tromaville Tree Preserve is becoming polluted." "And so close to Arbor Day." "Well, Mayor Grody will hear about this!" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Yvonne-- feisty little devil that she is-- decided to call on the mayor with us." "Mayor Grody, you had no right to condemn the bubblegum factory." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Suddenly the door burst open, and there stood another feisty lady." "Mayor Grody, we have to have words!" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "It was Elma Oakley, noted tree surgeon, botanical bacteriologist, and" "Major Disaster's main squeeze." "All the trees in Tromaville Park are dying!" "You've got to do something about stopping this pollution!" "Uh, right." "That's why I shut down the bubblegum factory." "It was creating too much smog." "Now hold on." "Our bubblegum doesn't cause smog." "I haven't got time to discuss it." "Case closed." "I've got to look after tomorrow's big-- [burp]" "Arbor Day parade." "Hm." "I may be nearsighted, but even I can see this is a permit to start manufacturing in our factory." "Ooh, why, that dirty dog." "Our building wasn't condemned after all." "Fellas, there's something suspicious about this." "I think it's time we paid a visit to our ex-bubblegum factory for some answers." "You were right, Toxie." "Something is going on." "I wonder what they're up to." "That's just what we're going to find out." "No way, Tox-man." "We'll never get in there with those Radiation Rangers checking out the entrance." "Not from the outside, Fender." "But I know a shortcut." "The sewer?" "Oh, barf." "Ah, for the first time in my life, I agree with you." "Listen." "If it's good enough for mutants in another series, it's good enough for hideously deformed creatures of superhuman size and strength." "[sigh]" "BENDER:" "Oh, boy, it stinks down here." "And that's coming from someone who lives in a toxic waste dump." "In New Jersey, no less." "OK, gang." "End of the line." "Someone want to give me a boost?" "The Radiation Rangers have taken over the factory." "Let's show them they can't get away with this." "It's clean up time!" "Let's get em!" "[barking] [chatter]" "Oh, it's those blasted Toxic Crusaders again!" "Let me use the proton energizer on them, Doc." "Why use up the battery?" "My Radiation Rangers will take care of them." "I may have lost my flower power, but I can still handle a couple of petunias like you." "[crash] [sneezing]" "I'm telling you, Doc." "Better let me use the proton energizer." "I said no!" "Blast it!" "Those cretins are actually winning!" "Quick." "Use the proton energizer." "Great idea, boss." "Huh?" "What's going on?" "[groan]" "Whoa." "Bummer." "No." "Bumper." "Finally, the end of the Toxic Crusaders." "[laughter]" "ANNOUNCER:" "And now these messages." "We now return to the Toxic Crusaders." "So at last, it's the end of the famous Toxic Crusaders." "Now nothing can stop me from turning every Tromaville tree into a smog-spewing organism." "It's fitting I do it on Arbor Day, don't you agree?" "Actually, that is a nice tie in." "Boss, how come in these things, the bad guys always reveal their plans to the good guys?" "What can I tell you?" "It's tradition." "It might comeback to haunt you." "Nonsense!" "Not one of them is going to escape." "Look." "Enough chatter!" "Finish them off." "OK, Toxie." "So what do we do now?" "We use our incredible toxic given strength to escape." "Like this." "Neato." "[bang]" "Man, that's like taking off a tight girdle." "There." "That's better." "How come we didn't do this sooner?" "Because I wanted to hear what Killemoff's plan was." "See?" "What did I tell you?" "Oh, shut up." "Let's go!" "Back to the sewer!" "No way." "I'm not going back into that smelly place again." "Well, maybe just this once." "No!" "They've escaped." "I promised you." "This will be one Arbor Day the Toxic Crusaders won't ever forget." "[chatter] [music playing]" "No-Zone, keep your eyes peeled for anything unusual." "Oh, boy." "You mean like that?" "Oh, Arbor Day is my most favorite holiday." "[sigh]" "Oh, it used to be mine, too, until I lost my power." "Ah, my plan to pollute Tromaville is nearly complete." "And no one will know until it's too late!" "Except for the Toxic Crusaders who you already blabbed it to." "[music playing]" "The idiots are actually cheering." "No one realizes what we're about to do." "Except for the Toxic Crusaders." "Will you stop with that nagging already?" "TOXIE:" "Just look at that humongous float." "This is even better than the Thanksgiving Day parade." "[gasp]" "Hold on." "An aerosol can in an Arbor Day parade?" "Why, those things burn holes in the ozone." "[panting]" "Uh oh." "You shouldn't have said that." "No-Zone is allergic to the word ozone." "[panting] [sneezing]" "Smog in a Can?" "It's Killemoff." "He must have made that thing out of scrap metal." "And he plans to spray our beloved trees with it!" "They're on to us." "Drive your big can straight to the park now!" "It's headed for the trees!" "Not if we can help it." "Major Disaster, grab that banner." "Right, Toxie." "[music playing]" "Up we go!" "Quick, Psycho." "Release the smog now." "OK, but I bet it's too late." "[creaking]" "What's happening?" "You told them your plan, and now they're stopping us." "Big surprise." "Hooray!" "[cheers]" "Whoa." "Forget the celebration, gang." "The smog is escaping, anyway." "Now what do we do?" "MRS. JUNKO:" "Leave it to me!" "I'll handle this." "There." "Finished." "[whimpering]" "We can always count on moms to clean up our messes." "His messes, yes." "Your messes, no." "Humans can be so inhuman." "You're a hero." "You saved the trees!" "Thanks, Elma." "But I wish I knew what happened to my plant powers." "You still have them." "You were just trying to use them on the tree sprayed with Smog in a Can." "Really, Elma?" "See for yourself." "OK." "Here goes." "[cheers]" "Elma, you were right." "I do have my powers back." "Good." "Now let's see if we can get our factory back." "You guys, relax." "This one's on me." "OK, trees, now listen up." "We've got work to do." "[calls out marching orders]" "Ah, I never could resist a man in a toxically-eaten away uniform." "[calls out marching orders]" "No problem, troops." "We ain't going to be licked by a bunch of giant marching trees." "Giant marching trees?" "If anyone asks, I just went to go buy some white flags." "[calls out marching orders] [laughter]" "Isn't this exciting, Toxie's mom?" "We have our bubblegum factor back again." "I'm sure dentists throughout the nation are thrilled." "I have found it soin spiring that I have written a little work song." "Want to hear it?" "Just a minute." "OK." "Now." "(SINGING) We do the work, work." "We do the work jerk." "We do the work, work." "We do the work jerk." "(SINGING) We do the work." "YVONNE: (SINGING) Work until Friday when we all get paid." "(SINGING) We do the work, work." "YVONNE:" "Uh-huh." "(SINGING) We do the work jerk." "We do the work." "YVONNE: (SINGING) We take that old money, and we go get some fun." "Yeah, baby." "ALL: (SINGING) We do the work." "We do the work jerk." "We do the work." "YVONNE:" "Huh!" "Work!" "Yeah." "[music playing] [music playing]" "THEME SONG:" "Toxic Crusaders." "Toxic Crusaders." "I had no friends, no girls would hug me until I got radioactive ugly." "Toxic Crusaders." "I live in a dump cause the rent's real low." "Got a little pet Blobbie, and he loves me so." "Toxic Crusaders." "Now me and the boys fight against wrong, though we're hideously deformed." "Hey, I'm sitting on top of the world with my mop, tutu, and girl." "Whoa!" "Toxic Crusaders." "Toxic!" "[music playing]" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "It all started one day in Killemoff's" "Island City penthouse." "KILLEMOFF:" "That's Dr. Killemoff!" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Sorry." "Dr. Killemoff's Island City penthouse." "[coughing]" "Um, excuse the coughing." "The smog around this place always gets to me." "Anyway, the doctor was addressing his troops of bad guy Radiation Rangers." "Radiation Rangers, today marks a momentous day in Smogulan history." "The time has come for the long awaited Smogulan invasion." "Your mission-- to infiltrate the Tromaville Toxic" "Dump where the Toxic Crusaders live and bring them to their knees." "Take care of the Toxic Crusaders, and the rest of Tromaville will crumble like month old Smogulan cheese cake." "[laughter]" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "While back at the toxic waste dump we call home, we Toxic Crusaders had gotten wind of the invasion and were trying to tidy up the place before they got here." "Don't you just hate it when invaders drop in without calling?" "[inaudible]" "Blobbie!" "Will you cut that out?" "[laughter]" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "We finally finished dumping everything out of the dump and just in time, too." "Because I was suddenly having a full fledged tromaton attack." "I've seen enough of these episodes to know that means your body senses some evil presence." "That's right, No-Zone." "But where could it be coming from?" "Uh, maybe it's all those Radiation Ranger paratroopers." "You're right, Junkyard." "Thanks for pointing that out." "Hey, I'm part pointer." "Here they come, and they're in full attack deployment." "We're Toxic Crusaders til we die!" "Die?" "Hold on." "That wasn't part of the deal." "It's just a temporary battle cry." "I'm working on a better one." "[gunshots]" "Meanwhile, let's take care of these Radiation Rangers." "What's wrong, man?" "Got a headache?" "I saw this guy wear one in a movie." "It looked real cool." "Oh, right." "Bruce Springsteen." "I'll handle these bozos." "Ha, there's only a dozen of them." "[splat]" "All right, Mop." "It's clean up time." "Hey." "There's a battle cry we can use for the rest of the series." "Take that and that and that and that." "Blast it!" "Those Toxic Crusaders have done it to me again." "So what else is new?" "Czar Zosta." "I didn't recognize your shimmer." "What brings you to this miserable oxygen breathing planet?" "Your incompetence." "You've botched your assignment once again." "On the other hand, if I'd succeeded in putrefying the environment in the previous episodes, we wouldn't have a series." "A giant bug?" "Uh, don't mind, Doc." "We'll take care of it." "I knew we should have put the screens up." "Ow!" "Hey!" "What are you doing?" "Doc, cut it out." "Hey, what are you-- hey!" "He's a hologram, you amoeba brains!" "And stay out!" "Sorry about that interruption." "I rather enjoyed it." "[sniff] Hey." "See if you can get me some of that bug spray for my personal use." "I just love the aroma." "Killemoff, this is your last chance to poison the environment and make it livable for us Smogulans." "It will be done, Czar Zosta." "Remember." "We have exactly one week to vacate the planet Smogula." "Otherwise, we lose our last month's deposit." "Never fear, all mighty one." "This time I have the final pollution solution." "The citizens of Tromaville are about to meet the new, improved Dr. Killemoff." "[groan]" "Oy vey." "Mom, what's that thing?" "[groan]" "I rented this early model portable TV so you could see this with your own toxically bulging eyeballs." "And so, fellow Tromavillians, I've had a complete change of heart." "[gasp]" "JUNKYARD:" "It's Killemoff." "No, that's Dr. Killemoff." "Oh, yeah." "[bark]" "I forgot." "I have come to realize thats mog and pollution are no good and must be eliminated." "I've already put my Radiation Rangers to work building the world's largest redemption center in which all of Tromaville's junk and garbage will be recycled while giantsmog suckers will suck up all the choking smogfilled air and send it back" "into the environment in the form of pure, life-sustaining oxygen." "Why, that double headed cockroach, promising people things he can't deliver." "Is he trying to steal my job as mayor?" "Next thing you know, he'll be kissing babies." "Kiss me, baby." "This is a kinder, gentler Dr. Killemoff saying to all of you-- read my lips." "No more smog!" "[growling]" "Blobbie, stop eating the TV." "You don't know where it's been." "Well, sonny, what do you think?" "Actually, the picture's kind of fuzzy." "And I've never been crazy about a round screen." "No, no, no." "I mean Killemoff's complete flip flop." "He's suddenly become one of the good guys." "I wouldn't bet on it, Mom." "My tromatons are signalling me that there's something rotten in the state of New Jersey." "So that's your brilliant scheme?" "To clean up Tromaville?" "Of course not, Czar Zosta." "This is the real plan." "The garbage those Tromaville idiots bring to the recycling plant will actually be converted to noxious, poisonous air, which will then be pumped out into the sky." "Surrounded by an gigantic airtight dome, it will create the perfect environment for our invading" "Smogulan [inaudible]." "Hm." "A most ingenious plan." "And I've kept it all secret, even from my associates." "That way, the Toxic Crusader can't pick up any vibrations through his super sensitive tromatons." "But what if Mayor Grody finds out what you're up to and tries to throw a monkey wrench into your plans?" "Hm!" "I wouldn't even consider such a preposterous possibility!" "Besides, that's Psycho's line." "Oops, sorry." "Don't worry, Your Czarship." "There won't be a monkey wrench in this plan." "MAYOR GRODY:" "So." "[panting]" "Killemoff has decided to become a hero, has he?" "Now where is that thing?" "Ah!" "At last, I found it." "The perfect thing to foul up that traitor's plans." "[music playing]" "There's a new breath of fresh air blowing through Tromaville." "Soon it will be known as the cleanest town on the face of the earth." "Whoop-de-do." "What excitement." "[yawn]" "Be still, my beating heart." "You say that isn't enough?" "I'll tell you what I'm going to do." "I will personally offer the grand total of-- not $10." "[buzz]" "Not $20." "[buzz]" "But a whole $38.50 tax free to the person who brings in the most recyclable garbage." "Offer prohibited where void." "Must be a resident of Tromaville winner." "[cheers] [music playing]" "Did you hear that, Bonehead?" "38.50 big ones." "So what are we waiting for?" "Let's start cleaning up the air." "Isn't it wonderful, Toxie?" "Dr. Killemoff has actually changed." "I don't know, Yvonne." "I've still got a funny feeling about this." "Why so suspicious?" "You stood right next to Psycho and Bonehead and didn't get a single twitch." "No-Zone's right." "Even Mayor Grody didn't trigger your tromatons." "Well, perhaps we can express it best in a little song." "Ready, fellas?" "(SINGING) Well, now you can change a dollar into 22 nickels." "You can change a cucumber into a lot of little pickles." "Yeah, change." "YVONNE (SINGING):" "Even bad guys do it." "Change!" "YVONNE (SINGING):" "There ain't nothing to it." "Happens all the time." "Well, come on, and change your mind about change." "Oh!" "You're right." "Anyone can change, even Killemoff." "That's Dr. Killemoff." "Remember, he's a good guy now." "[groan]" "I've got a few surprises in store for Killemoff." "Uh, that's Dr. Killemoff." "I Don't you start in, too." "Anyway, my surprise is-- this!" "[laughter]" "Oh, Mr. Mayor." "You're so cute when you're ticked off." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Now with that huge cash prize, the people of Tromaville tried to out do each other gathering junk." "Even we Toxic Crusaders got into it." "What a genius that Bender is." "Just like that, he comes up with inventions to help clean up the Tromaville environment, like that letter getter gadget he invented that sucks the graffiti right off a fence." "It even sucks the printing off a newspaper." "That way, you can use the same paper again the next day." "The letter getter needed some fine tuning, though." "Hey, you!" "Come back with my newspaper." "Uh-oh." "Gangway, man!" "[grunt] [crying]" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Not to be outdone," "No-Zone worked on his own invention-- a special magnet that attracts aluminum cans." "Uh-oh." "Trouble at 12:00." "Oh, oh, oh!" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "It looks like No-Zone's invention still had a few bugs in it." "Don't you mean flies?" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "There were a few other small problems with his aluminum attractor, too." "Hey, what's going on?" "[scream]" "Oh!" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "And a couple of large problems, too." "[gulp]" "Who ordered the limo?" "It sure wasn't me." "Look." "So it didn't work perfectly." "Thanks, Toxie's mom." "I feel like such a failure." "Listen." "I'm sure you'll find a use for your aluminum attractor." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Now it was Major Disaster's turn." "He came up with a gadget he called the noise pollution solution." "It really worked great." "[honk] [clang]" "The noise pollution solution had one little drawback, though." "YVONNE (SINGING):" "I even forget when to eat, except when I eat something sweet." "Yes, love-- [scream]" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "It couldn't tell ugly noise from beautiful noise." "Kind of like Toxie himself." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Even Junkyard got into the act by doing public service announcements." "Canines of Tromaville, can we talk?" "You know, it's not just humans who can stop polluting the environment." "[sniffing]" "Us (BARK) dogs can do our part, too." "So next time you feel the urge, don't raise your leg." "Cross it." "[buzz]" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Meanwhile, inside the brand new recycling plant, those bad guys turned good guys, Psycho and Bonehead, were doing their part supervising the operation." "Move it, you jerks." "Lift that bag and pump that smog." "I still can't get used to being a good guy." "Me, neither, Bonehead." "Being a bad guy was lots more fun." "Yeah, the boss sure turned into a wuss." "Next thing you know he'll change his name from Killemoff to Kissemoff." "I got a feeling there's something real funny going on here." "Yeah, I sure hope so." "For the sake of the audience." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Thanks to our new recycling plant, exactly one month later, Tromaville was the cleanest city in the world just the way Dr. Killemoff promised." "The place was so clean andsparkly, even the birds had to wear sunglasses." "Being the cleanest city in the world had its drawbacks, though, like take those tour buses-- please." "MAN:" "Here we are, folks" " Tromaville, the cleanest, quietest, smog-less, litter-free city on the face of the Earth." "Oh, Herald, get over here." "Isn't it lovely?" "Wow." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Luckily, the Toxic Crusaders were on the job as a welcoming community." "Bender used his letter getter gadget to scoop up souvenirs, which Fender handed out to them." "FENDER:" "Whoa, chill out, people." "There's enough for everyone." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Major Disaster checked out their exhaust admission." "OK, you're fine." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "While No-Zone and I put them on the right road back." "Toxic Crusaders to the rescue!" "Well, Lloyd, how does it feel to be the big winner of the $38.50 first prize for bringing in the most junk?" "I'm still kind ofin shock, Toxie." "TOXIE (ON TV):" "What do you intend doing with all that money, Lloyd?" "Well, I" " I already spent some of it by taking the wife and kids out to dinner to celebrate." "We went to Pizza by the Ton." "[music playing]" "MAN (VOICEOVER):" "We interrupt this program to bring you a special announcement from our generousbene factor, Dr. Killemoff." "Fellow Tromavillians, how proud you must feel to be living in the most pollution free city in the world." "And now we must strive to protect our environmental paradise by building an enormous dome that will completely enclose the city so it will remain free of chemical impurities forever." "A dome?" "Over Tromaville?" "Far out." "KILLEMOFF (ON TV):" "And I'masking my close friends, the Toxic Crusaders, to use their incredible strength to help build it." "Did you hear that?" "He's asking for the Toxic Crusaders." "What do you say, Crusaders?" "Will you do it?" "You bet we'll do it!" "I knew I could con you." "I mean, count on you." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "While we Toxic Crusaders got busy building the dome, Yvonne sang us a special work song she wrote." "(SINGING) They do the work jerk." "They do the work work." "They do the work jerk." "What's the matter, Your Honor, honey?" "You seem upset." "[man on tv talking] [hiccup]" "You bet I'm upset." "I've got to figure out some way to sabotage Project Dome." "Why don't you relax like me?" "Watch a little TV." "It's real educational." "MAN (VOICEOVER):" "Worried about your false teeth slipping?" "Well, your worries are over with new, improved Chopper-Stik." "Chopper-Stik is guaranteed to cement those babies tight for a full 24 hours." "After that, you're on your own." "[scream] [burp]" "That's it." "I've found the answer." "[music playing]" "What an in genious plan." "I simply replace the gum they've been using with this vat filled with Chopper-Stik." "[burp]" "Oh." "[laughter] 24 hours after it's up, the entire dome will come crashing down, along with Killemoff's credibility." "[laughter] [squeak]" "[squeak]" "Hey, Mop, what are you doing?" "What's that?" "You say this stuff isn't really glue?" "It's actually a barrel of Chopper-Stik that Mayor Grody switched it with?" "Uh-oh, Toxie." "We'd better not use it." "No-Zone." "Are you going to take the word of a mop over a mayor?" "Hm." "That's a tough decision." "Not for me, it isn't." "Mayor Grody has now joined the good guys." "He'd never do a thing like that." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "The dome was finally finished." "To show our appreciation for their help, we threw the Radiation Rangers a little wrap party." "(SINGING) For these are jolly good rangers." "For these are jolly good rangers." "For these are jolly good rangers, although it's hard to tell." "Hey!" "[cheers]" "There you have it, Czar Zosta." "The dome is now completed and right on schedule." "Splendid." "[laughter]" "Prepare Tromaville for the highest level of toxicity." "As you command, Almighty One." "[music playing]" "Uh, what's going on?" "[gasp]" "The Smog Sucker has gone into refuse." "Instead of pumping the polluted air in, it's pumping it out." "[coughing]" "Oh, the sky-- it-- it's filling up with smog and smoke and-- and schmutz." "[coughing]" "It's awful." "I can hardly breathe." "KILLEMOFF:" "And it's only the beginning!" "You have exactly five minutes to leave Tromaville before the Smogulan invasion." "It's Killemoff." "He lied to us!" "[scream]" "KILLEMOFF:" "That goes for you, too, Toxic Crusaders." "Say bye or die!" "[laughter]" "Then this was all just a huge scam." "Dr. Killemoff took advantage of our innate good nature and innocence." "Did you hear that, Psycho?" "The boss is a rotten, low down, crooked rat after all." "All right!" "My faith in villain kind is restored." "Fellas, we'll have to turn off that smog sucker." "Forget it, you freakazoids." "Get them!" "[music playing] [gunshots]" "Every Crusader for himself." "Whatever happened to one for all and all for one?" "It's copyrighted." "[splat]" "[crash]" "[crash] [groan]" "OK, Mop, it's clean up time." "[squeak]" "Hey!" "Come back!" "We're not through mopping up!" "[squeak]" "Hey!" "[yelling]" "Mop, what is with you?" "[squeak] [ring]" "[crash]" "Head for the exit!" "[crash]" "Oh, man!" "A total wipe-a-thon!" "We've got Mop to thank for that." "But what do we do about the smog sucker?" "There's no way to shut it off!" "Major Disaster, you must use your powers to teleport this place out of Tromaville." "Me?" "Move this place?" "But I only have control over vegetation and stuff." "He's right." "Oh, boy." "Looks like all is lost." "JUNKYARD:" "No, it's not." "You guys have been barking up the wrong tree." "What do you mean, Junkyard?" "Hey." "This place is a recycling plant, isn't it?" "Yeah." "So?" "So plants are something Major Disaster can control." "Gosh." "I never thought of it that way." "I'll give it a try." "[music playing]" "FENDER:" "It's working, man!" "You're doing it." "Whoa!" "[screaming] [barking]" "[crash]" "Killemoff, you'll pay dearly for this!" "Yes, Your Exalted Czarness." "Do you accept credit cards?" "MRS. JUNKO:" "A toast to my son the mutant and his equally hideously deformed friends, the Toxic Crusaders!" "Thanks, Mom." "But Mom here is the real hero of the day." "Did you really know Mayor Grody was up to no good?" "[squeak]" "And did you really know the glue would only hold for exactly 24 hours?" "[squeak]" "But how did you know all that?" "You read the script." "Aw." "[music playing]" "MAN (VOICEOVER):" "Andnow these messages." "[music playing]" "[music playing]" "Oh, man!" "A total wipe-a-thon." "We've got Mop to thank for that." "But what do we do about the smog sucker?" "There's no way to shut it off." "Major Disaster, you must use your powers to teleport this place out of Tromaville." "Me?" "Move this place?" "But I only have control over vegetation and stuff." "He's right." "Oh, boy." "Looks like all is lost." "JUNKYARD:" "No, it's not." "You guys have beenbarking up the wrong tree." "What do you mean, Junkyard?" "Hey, this place is are cycling plant, isn't it?" "Yeah." "So?" "So plants are something Major Disaster can control." "Gosh." "I never thought of it that way." "I'll give it a try." "[music playing]" "FENDER:" "It's working, man." "You're doing it." "Whoa!" "[screaming] [barking]" "[music playing] [crash]" "Killemoff, you'll pay dearly for this." "Yes, Your Exalted Czarness." "Do you accept credit cards?" "MRS. JUNKO:" "A toast to my son the mutant and his equally hideously deformed friends, the Toxic Crusaders!" "Thanks, Mom." "But Mop here is the real hero of the day." "Did you really know Mayor Grody was up to no good?" "[squeak]" "And did you really know the glue would only hold for exactly 24 hours?" "[squeak]" "But how did you know all that?" "You read the script." "Aw." "[chatter] [music playing]" "[music playing]" "THEME SONG:" "Toxic Crusaders!" "Toxic Crusaders!" "I had no friends, no girls would hug me til I got radioactive ugly!" "Toxic Crusaders!" "I live in a dump cause the rent's real low." "Got a little pet, Blobbie, and he loves me so!" "Toxic Crusaders!" "Now me and the boys fight against wrong!" "Though we're hideously deformed!" "Hey, I'm sittin' on top of the world, with my mop, to do [inaudible]." "Wow!" "Toxic Crusaders!" "Toxic!" "NARRATOR:" "Instead of the usual toxic dump opening, this story starts in Dr. Killemoff's penthouse on Island" "City, only this time Czar Zosta, the ruler of Smogula, was there to help him." "Killemoff, our Smogulan scientists have discovered a huge pool of high smogtane crude right here in Tromaville." "What spendid news, your plumpness." "Yes, it's a regular mother of a mother lode." "Before this, our spacehsips had no way of refueling for the long trip back to the planet Smogula." "But now we can start a massive shuttle service and transport all of our citizens here to Tromavilla." "Excellent thinking, sir." "And where is this reservoir of smogtane fuel?" "Right here." "The toxic waste dump?" "But that's where the Toxic Crusaders live!" "I want you to construct a pumping station on the side and start the flow of smogtane fuel ASAP." "I don't know, Czar Zosta." "What if the Toxic Crusaders refuse to move?" "What's with this guy?" "He's always making those predictions." "Just ignore him." "I will ignore him!" "Now get to work, and don't bother me with details." "Just do it!" "Yes, your czarship." "Right away, sir." "Bonehead, round up the Radiation Rangers for a special assignment." "It won't be easy, boss." "They're off getting their batteries charged." "May I?" "Oh, be my guest." "Don't bother me with details!" "Just do it!" "NARRATOR:" "Meanwhile, back at the dump, us Toxic Crusaders were leaping into the age of electronics." "Isn't this exciting?" "I bet we're the only guys in the world who live in a toxic waste dump and have cable TV." "Ah, yeah." "The best of both worlds." "How's the picture now, Headbanger?" "Aw, we're getting nothing but snow." "Snow?" "Way cool." "I love skiing." "I think the vertical needs adjusted." "Wrong, No-Zone." "It's the horizontal." "I say vertical!" "And I say horizontal!" "[crash]" "Well, Thunder, still seeing snow?" "No." "Stars." "Uh-oh." "My tromatons are starting to quiver." "That means trouble." "Radiation Rangers!" "Yo, Toxic Crusaders!" "I brought your eviction papers." "Open fire!" "Wow." "This isn't good." "OK, Blobbie." "Do your thing!" "[howling]" "I hate the Toxic Crusaders!" "[phone ringing]" "Mayor Grody's office." "I'm sorry, but the mayor has his hands full." "Never mind that!" "Tell him it's Dr. Killemoff calling!" "Oh!" "Yes, Killemoff?" "What can I do for you?" "That's Dr. Killemoff!" "And you can do what Bonehead failed at, and evict the Toxic Crusaders from their dump site!" "But they've got a 90 year lease." "Don't bother me with details." "Just do it." "What's wrong, sugar?" "I've got to get those Toxic Crusaders off that property." "But how?" "I need an evil and despicable scheme to trick those stupid crustaceans out of that dump." "And you're just despicable enough to do it." "NARRATOR:" "Mayor Grody came up with a plan, cause all of a sudden he showed up at the toxic waste dump." "I hate this place." "Every time I come here, I ruin another pair of shoes made from an endangered species." "Toxic Crusaders, I'm here to make you a proposal." "Forget it, man." "We're not the marrying kind." "Tromaville is growing, expanding-- bursting at the seams." "Kind of like these at of your pants?" "Exactly." "And I need citizens like yourselves to help make it grow." "Eh, gee, we'd like to help, but being hideously deformed creatures of superhuman size and strength takes up most of our time." "Gentlemen, I'm talking about glamorous, high paying executive positions with the city." "For instance, Junkyard, you'll be my vice president in charge of pooper scoopers." "Sounds tempting." "And Bender and Fender, you will be my joint heads of traffic." "All right!" "No-Zone, you'll be in charge of painting those yellow lines of the middle of the road." "Have wheel, will travel." "Major Disaster reporting for assignment, sir." "Oh." "You, Major, will be Tromaville's official Tunisian fruit fly inspector." "Hm." "International intrigue." "Oh-ho, I like it." "And now Toxie, for your special job" "Gosh, I don't know, mayor." "My schedule's pretty full just fighting new bad guys." "But your city needs ya." "Besides, this will hardly cut into your time at all." "You'll be ambassador for visiting bigwigs." "But bigwigs never visit Tromavile." "That's right." "Well, in the case I accept." "Good." "Start packing." "Packing?" "Why?" "Important city officials can't live in a disgusting dump like this." "My limo will pick you up first thing tomorrow morning." "NARRATOR:" "Mom was so proud of our new careers that she defrosted a special dinner." "Great grab, Toxie's Mom." "Yes." "Almost as good as army chow." "Why, it's a pleasure to kiss up to you boys now that you're important city officials." "OK." "But at least let me help you clean up." "And to top things off, I baked a special surprise-- an Yvonne Chiffon cake!" "Oh, wow!" "[excited chatter]" "(SINGING) Even though he looks yucky, my honey man's a yuppie." "He's a mover and a shaker, a real decision maker." "When I see him, I drool like a puppy!" "Ow!" "Well, Toxie, what do you think?" "Mm." "Delicious." "Toxie's mom was right." "The way to a man's heart is through his lower intestine." "NARRATOR:" "It was time for us movers and shakers to leave our beloved toxic waste dump, but at least we were leaving in style." "Still, I couldn't help feeling I was leaving a piece of myself behind." "I was!" "I forgot Mop and Blobbie!" "Dr. Killemoff, Mayor Grody here." "Well?" "Have you moved the Toxic Crusaders off the dump site?" "Yeah." "They're out of your hair, and into mine." "Splendid!" "I'll have the Radiation Rangers start building that pumping station immediately." "Oh, goodie." "The sooner the better." "Wait!" "I'm not finished!" "Remember, Grody, keep the Toxic Crusaders away from the waste dump-- or else." "I'm beginning to hate being the bad guy." "NARRATOR:" "And now these messages." "We now return to the Toxic Crusaders." "Here we are, boys." "Welcome to your new home, Grody Towers." "Oh, now there's a coincidence." "It's got the same name as you." "This dump makes our dump look like-- a real dump." "Just follow me to your luxurious new condo, boys." "Yoo-hoo?" "Mom?" "Open up!" "It's me." "Hello, sonny." "Mom, I'd like you to meet my new administrative assistants." "They'll be moving into the building." "Oh, that's nice." "Which apartment?" "Yours." "You've got exactly 5 minutes to pack your junk and get out." "Now hold on!" "You're actually planning to toss out your own dear, sweet mother?" "Don't worry, Major." "She's used to it." "But how could you?" "She's so old and feeble, and gray haired, and wrinkled, and-- OK, already!" "He gets the point!" "You stay right where you are, Mayor Grody's mom!" "If our new jobs mean you'll be without a home, then we don't want them." "Right, guys?" "Yeah!" "Right!" "Toxic Crusaders, back to the dump." "March!" "To the dump, to the dump, to the dump, dump, dump!" "No!" "Wait!" "I" " I got a better idea." "You can move into the penthouse." "How's that?" "It depends." "Who you going to evict from there?" "Me." "In that case, you've got yourself a deal." "I can't wait til the Radiation Rangers finish building that pumping station." "Then I'll be able to kick those Crusaders out on their toxic butts." "What on Earth?" "Those idiots have defaced my priceless antique door." "And they've changed the lock, too." "Open up!" "I know you're in there!" "Oh, hi, mayor." "Hey, nice shorts." "Yeah." "Having you move in was the stupidest idea I ever came up with" "Surprise!" "Well, what do ya think?" "What do I think?" "Toxic City Officials reporting for duty, Mr. Mayor." "Gentlemen, you know what your duties are." "So go do them." "Right, your honor!" "Toxie, why are you still here?" "Cause I've got nothing to do." "That's why I figured I'd go back to the dump and check on things." "Ow!" "Back to the dump?" "Why not?" "Seeing as how there aren't any bigwigs visiting Tromaville today." "You want bigwigs?" "I'll get ya bigwigs!" "Do you clowns remember what you're supposed to do?" "Yeah." "We're supposed to let Toxie give us the royal tour, but keep him away from the dump." "That's exactly right." "But there's something about this that's bothering me." "If it's your girdle, I don't want to hear about it." "No." "It's more like, what if one of them hideously deformed mutants falls madly in love with me and blows the whole scheme." "Fat chance." "Have you looked in a mirror lately?" "Look who's talking, freak face." "Oh, yeah?" "Yeah." "Hey, great touch." "The fighting will convince 'em you two are really married." "Toxie, may I present the Ludicon and Lucrious of Bare Butta." "Welcome to Tromaville, your royal hineys." "Here's a fiver." "Take 'em out for a fancy lunch." "Hang on, royal folks." "The Tromabille tour is about to begin." "NARRATOR:" "Meanwhile, we Crusaders were busy with our important city assignments." "For instance, No-Zone was painting yellow lines down the middle of the road." "Well, sort of down the middle." "While Junkyard was taking care of another kind of business." "Hey, you with the pom poms on your paws, show a little class, will ya?" "Merci "barku."" "NARRATOR:" "Meanwhile, Headbanger had his hands full directing traffic." "Come on!" "Come on, move it, dudes!" "No!" "No, no, wait!" "No, no!" "I wish you'd make up your mind." "Good old Major Disaster was hot on the trail of Tunisian fruit flies." "All elms and oaks, front and center." "Hip, hup, hip, hup." "Company halt!" "Now drop your leaves and spread 'em!" "NARRATOR:" "As for me, I was showing the Ludicon and Ludicrous around the town." "How would you like to see Tromaville's favorite meeting place?" "Combination bowling alley and laundromat, the Bowl and Fold." "Sounds pretty neat to me." "Anywhere but the toxic dump." "Our little woman here is allergic to garbage." "Oh, what a pity." "To me it's the most beautiful spot in all of Tromaville." "NARRATOR:" "Then something happened that changed the entire course of this story." "And aren't you glad?" "Oh!" "Hubba hubba!" "NARRATOR:" "The minute No-Zone laid eyes on the [inaudible] Ludicrous, he was head over heels in love." "Wait!" "Come back!" "Now that I've found you, you can't just limbo out of my life!" "Uh-oh!" "Whoa!" "Hey, what's going on?" "This must be love." "Mother told me I'd be knocked right off my feet." "Hey, spokes for brains, that's my wife's lap you're sitting in." "Oh, just my luck to fall in love with a married woman." "NARRATOR:" "That night we were all taking a well earned and much needed bath in Mayor Grody's hot tub." "(SINGING) We're the Toxic Crusaders." "We can clean, and Toxic Crusaders." "Scrub-a dub-a Toxic Crusaders." "Of that we're pretty sure of." "NARRATOR:" "When suddenly the mayor's secretary dropped in on us." "Hello?" "Am I in the right penthouse?" "I'm looking for-- whoa!" "Are you all right, little lady?" "I guess I should thank you." "I can't believe it." "First you take my condo, now you take my bimbo." "That does it, Mona." "I'm out of your life forever!" "Man, go figure." "Faster, you clods!" "Faster!" "Herr Killemoff, what's taking so long?" "It's those blasted Radiation Rangers, Czar Zosta." "I won't tolerate excuses!" "You'll finish on schedule, or I'll have your head!" "Do you hear me?" "Only too clearly." "NARRATOR:" "And now these messages." "We now return to the Toxic Crusaders." "What did I do to deserve this?" "This has gotta be the longest night of my life." "It's also the shortest nap you've ever had." "Now move along, buster." "It's against the law to sleep in the park." "You flat-footed idiot." "I'm the mayor of this town!" "I wrote that law!" "I know." "You also wrote the one about our not eating donuts on duty." "Now scram, bozo!" "What did I do to deserve this?" "I mean, besides taking bribes, cheating on my income tax, and secretly arranging for the take over of Tromvaville by the smog breathing aliens." "The Toxic Crusaders will pay for this, but good." "Ah, what a fine day for a surprise Tunisian fruit fly inspection." "Hm." "There's something suspicious looking about this sassafras." "Atten-hut!" "Present arms!" "Oh, my." "This is the fattest fruit fly I've ever seen." "I'm gonna need a larger specimen bottle." "NARRATOR:" "Meanwhile, poor love sick No-Zone couldn't keep his mind on his work." "All he could think about was the Ludicrous of Bare Butta." "Oh, my ravishing lyrotund Ludicrous." "I can see us now." "Darling!" "Fly into my arms!" "[screaming]" "Hold on!" "You're not the Ludicroussa." "Neither of ya." "You idiot!" "I oughta write you a ticket for this!" "Hey, chill out, man." "Can't you see the dude's in love?" "I'll give you love, you addle painted add-on!" "Ouch!" "Hey!" "Take that!" "What that guy needs is a couple of girlfriends." "NARRATOR:" "No-Zone's love affair was playing heck with my assignment, too." "[screaming]" "Hey, cut it out." "We're getting car sick back here." "Barf bags!" "You think of everything, don't you, Mop?" "Mm-hm." "NARRATOR:" "That crazy No-Zone was even more in love than I thought." "The toxic dump?" "Hey, wait!" "No, turn around!" "You're going the wrong way!" "Sorry, folks, but it's against the law to cross a yellow line." "Killemoff's gonna have our skulls." "He told us to keep this jerk away from the dump." "I warned you one of them might fall in love with me and botch things up." "You and your woman's intuition." "NARRATOR:" "Something weird was happening." "The closer we got to the dump, the more my Tromatons started kicking in." "And then I saw why." "Our cozy little shack was history!" "A pumping station." "I'll bet my Tromatons Dr. Killemoff is behind this." "Dr. Killemoff?" "Who's Dr. Killemoff?" "Well, he's the guy we work for, stupid." "Don't you remember?" "Shut up, you bug brain." "I'm sorry, your royal lewdnesses, but I'll have to drop you at a movie or something." "I've got a protest to organize." "No cruddy crude!" "You're too late." "The first airship crammed with huddled masses of Smogulons, yearning to breathe gunk, is about to land." "WOMAN:" "Attention, passengers." "We are approaching Tromaville." "Please put your antenna in an upright position, and if you've got'em, smoke 'em." "Radiation Rangers, remove all trespassers from the area!" "Let's show these bozos what weak, defenseless women are made of!" "Right on, Toxie's mom!" "Way to go, sister!" "You might as well give up, Troma villians." "The Smogulon airship has arrived with fresh troops." "Killemoff's right." "Maybe we should surrender." "No way!" "A Toxic Crusader doesn't know the meaning of the word surrender." "Actually, there are lots of words a Toxic Crusader don't know the meaning of." "Don't worry, men." "My tree troops have been preparing for just such an emergency." "All trees, present [inaudible]!" "Hip and hut!" "And hip!" "TOXIE:" "Great work, Major Disaster!" "The Smogulons will never find this place now." "And just to make sure" "That's not fair!" "You're cheating." "We're not finished yet." "Junkyard, help me out with this ancient battle song I just wrote." "Wait, babe." "Let's pump up the volume with these killer amps." "Why thank you, Fender." "(SINGING) Oh, how we love to fight, whether we are wrong or we are right." "Sometimes it's just for sport, especially when we fight." "Oh, yeah!" "WOMAN:" "Due to emergency conditions, we'll be returning to Smogula." "Hey, that's the second time in this episode we've amplified sounds to defeat the Radiation Rangers!" "I say when you've got a good thing going, stick with it." "They did it again!" "Don't worry, boss." "I'll handle them Toxic Crusaders!" "Starting with the head Tox!" "Say goodbye, blister brain!" "That sure is a strange custom, your heinyness." "In our country, we just wave goodbye." "Like this." "Aw, Bonehead, you bone head!" "Now eat my laser blasts." "Oh, Mop!" "You-- you made the supreme sacrifice for me." "[giggling]" "You're alive!" "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you." "Yuck!" "See that?" "I warned you everything would go wrong." "But would you listen?" "No." "Aw, shut up." "Ludicons." "Go figure." "[theme music]" "THEME SONG:" "Toxic Crusaders!" "Toxic Crusaders!" "I had no friends, no girls would hug me until I got radioactive ugly." "Toxic Crusaders!" "I live in a dump 'cause the rent's real low." "Got a little pet, Blobbie, and he loves me so!" "Toxic Crusaders!" "Now, me and the boys fight against wrong." "Oh, we're hideously deformed!" "Hey, I'm sitting on top of the world, with my mop, tutu, and girl." "Wow!" "Toxic Crusaders!" "Toxic!" "[grunt]" "That's exactly what I'll do." "I'll stomp out their precious little shopping plaza just before the big holiday rush." "[laughter]" "Why, boss?" "Because, Bonehead, when the materialistic fools realize that they have no place to shop with the holidays approaching, it'll send them into a panic, and we'll be able to move in and sell them this!" "BONEHEAD:" "Wow, a can opener." "It's not a can opener, you idiot!" "It just looks like one." "It's actually a personal-size remotely-activated smog-inducer." "And once each and every household in Tromaville has one, we'll be able to activate them by remote control and pollute that disgustingly clean little town once and for all!" "And make a neat little profit." "I don't know, boss." "What if some unknown stranger comes to Tromaville and teams up with the Toxic Crusaders at the last minute and foils you plan?" "Don't be ridiculous!" "That could never happen." "Boy, did we set up this story, or what?" "Go ahead, Doc." "It's your move." "No it isn't." "It's your move." "Is not." "Is too." "Is not." "Is too." "Oh, what's the difference whose move it is?" "You're playing against yourself." "Yeah." "Keep it down." "I'm trying to get some shu-- some shut-- shut-- shuteye." "Ah-- [sneeze]" "What a beautiful day in Tromaville!" "There's no wrong toright, we're young, we're hideously deformed-- [people shouting]" "WOMAN:" "Good riddance, low life!" "MAN:" "And don't come back!" "Goodbye, fellow Earthlings!" "You're welcome." "You must be Toxie." "Heard a lot about you." "The name's Mr. Earth." "Mr. Earth?" "What kind of a name is that?" "Why, it's a superhero's name, of course." "Tried a couple of others." "Dirtman, Ground Guy, World Person, but nope." "Just like the Mr. Earth the best." "Nice doggie." "I've come to join up with you." "So where do I sleep?" "Just a second, Mr. Earth." "It's not that simple." "JUNKYARD: yeah." "There are a few rules to joining up with us, you know." "DR. BENDER:" "First of all, you've got to be hideously deformed." "MAJOR DISASTER:" "And have a superpower." "You don't have x-ray vision, by and chance?" "We could use someone with x-ray aviation." "No, I don't." "Do you have any special powers, Mr. Earth?" "Oh, uh-- oh!" "I can say the alphabet backwards." "I'm afraid that isn't going to cut it." "So you have no special powers, other than the alphabet, and you aren't hideously deformed." "But I am strong." "But not super-humanly strong." "But I do have a pretty neat costume." "Oh, it's a nice costume, all right." "But all our costumes were formed by some environmental accident." "And our story has a sort of environmental theme, and so do all of us." "And you don't." "Tromaville was my last hope." "I've been kicked out of 12 cities already for superheroing without a license." "That's a serious charge." "What are you talking about?" "You don't need a license to superhero in Tromaville." "Forget I said anything." "Well, if you don't need a license, then there's nothing to stop me." "See you later." "I'm off to save Tromaville." "But Tromaville doesn't need saving!" "I'll put a stop to that!" "I still don't think this is a very good idea." "I'm telling you, the boss'll be proud of us." "We march in there and defeat the Toxic Crusaders before they can foil his evil plan." "It'll never work." "BONEHEAD:" "OK, Toxic Crusaders!" "Come on out and get what's coming to ya!" "Look, it's Bonehead and Psycho." "I'll take care of them with my mulch gun." "Ah!" "Radiation rangers, attack." "Uh-oh." "Radiation rangers." "Get 'em, Mop." "[squeaking]" "I got the next one, Toxie." "Ah-- ah-- [sneeze]" "Told you this wouldn't work." "BONEHEAD:" "Let's get out of here." "Gee, what do you suppose that was all about?" "I don't know, but I'll bet it has something to do with some evil plan of Doctor Killemoff." "No more excuses, Mayor Grody!" "You must find some way of disposing of the Toxic Crusaders once and for all!" "Um-- but what can I do?" "I mean, you're the bad guys, and-- and you can't stop them." "That's not the point!" "Yeah." "So what if Dr. Killemoff is no match for the strength and cunning of the Toxic Crusaders, and every effort he makes to defeat them and take over Tromaville and then the world ends in failure after failure after failure?" "Are you through?" "I guess so." "Good!" "As I was saying." "I'll see what I can do." "Maybe we could pass a law requiring a license for superheroing, or something like that." "It'll never work." "DR. KILLEMOFF:" "Psycho!" "[crash] [groan]" "(SINGING) I'm off to visit the dumpity-ump, to see my adorable lumpity-ump!" "Oh, his name is Toxie, and he's my boyfriend!" "MR. EARTH:" "That horrible sound!" "Someone's in trouble!" "Mr. Earth, to the rescue!" "I'll save you, lady." "Mr. Earth to the rescue!" "[scream]" "Harm a poor, defenseless accordion player, will you?" "Uh-oh." "Something like this could make Toxie's Tromatons act up." "Oh, no!" "My Tromatons are acting up." "Someone's in trouble." "I know." "And we've got to save them." "Exactly!" "I hope I don't get hurt!" "He's gotta work on that battle cry." "[alarms sounding]" "YVONNE:" "Say, what's the big idea, anyhow?" "Uh, gee, lady, I was only trying to" "TOXIE:" "It's clean-up time!" "Yvonne, are you all right?" "Of course I'm all right, Toxie." "This Mr. Dork character just ran in here and started beating up on everything in sight." "That's Mr. Earth." "And I thought youwere in trouble." "You see, I heard this awful sound, and, uh" "Oh, that." "Holy moly!" "Look at all the stuff he's wrecked." "Are you gonna be in trouble!" "Who is that idiot in that ridiculous costume?" "Which one?" "All the Toxic Crusaders wear ridiculous costumes." "The new one." "DR. KILLEMOFF:" "Hm." "He may be just what I need to spell the end of the Toxic Crusaders!" "Oops." "NARRATOR:" "And now, these messages." "We now return to the Toxic Crusaders." "Having trouble, little old lady?" "Why, no." "I-- Let me give you a hand." "Hey!" "Thanks, sonny!" "Glad to be of help." "And the name's Mr. Earth!" "[sirens]" "What's going on?" "Oh, oh-- we-- we're arresting you for robbing the bank, would you think." "Oh my!" "Nothing worse than slow service." "But all I ordered was fries." "DR. KILLEMOFF:" "What is that idiot doing?" "Believe it or not, I think he thinks he's helping." "Bring him to me." "He will help me destroy the Toxic Crusaders." "PSYCHO:" "Fat chance." "DR. KILLEMOFF:" "Psycho!" "Ouch." "There you go, grandma." "Sorry about you getting arrested." "You should be!" "Some superheroes you are." "Well, we've tried to fix up as much of the damage cause by Mr. Earth as we could." "He's the busiest person I've ever seen." "We've got to find a way to stop him." "The citizens of Tromaville are blaming us superheroes for not protecting them from this Mr. Earth." "Tell me about." "The butcher even whacked me on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper." "Hey, man, the butcher always whacks you on the nose like that." "Oh, yeah." "I forgot." "Any luck finding Mr. Earth?" "None." "Yvonne and I have looked everywhere." "Yeah." "And I even wrote a song about it." "[groaning]" "(SINGING) Oh, we went to look for Mr. Earth, just Toxie, me, and Blobbie." "But we couldn't find him, no siree!" "(SINGING) But they did find Toxie's mommy." "Hi, Toxie's mom." "What are you doing here?" "What do you mean, what am I doing here?" "You're halfway through the second act and this is my first appearance." "Some Toxic Crusader show." "Besides, I had to pick up my slacks from the cleaners." "Oy!" "I'll help you with that, lady." "OK, Mr. Earth." "Drop those pants." "[unzipping]" "Uh-- YVONNE:" "Jeepers." "No, no." "The ones in your hand." "[zipping]" "MR. EARTH:" "Sorry." "Mr. Earth, you've got to stop helping the good citizens of Tromaville." "Yeah." "Before you kill somebody." "Don't be ridiculous." "It's a superhero's job to help citizens in distress." "Then we're gonna have to stop you." "Yeah." "Hey, wait a minute, Tox-man." "Don't you think we're being just a little unfair." "I mean, we do sort of outnumber the dude." "Yeah." "Headbanger's right." "It isn't very superhero-like." "Did somebody superhero?" "Well, well, if it isn't the Toxic Invaders." "That's Crusaders." "Crusaders, Invaders." "Who cares?" "The producers?" "It's a good thing I bumped into you troublemakers." "I wanted to make sure you weren't doing no superheroing without the proper documentation." "Oh, no." "Here we go again." "Psst." "Over here." "MAYOR:" "All superheroes in Tromaville need to have a license." "Otherwise, you could get into big trouble." "Since when do you need a license to be a superhero in Tromaville?" "Since about five minutes ago." "I just made it up." "Oh, OK, then." "That's different." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "So there we were, superheroes who couldn't superhero." "At least, not legally." "And little did we know that, as we stood there, pondering this new problem, Mr. Earth was about to strike a deal with the infamous" "Killemoff, Dr. Killemoff." "Nice to meet you, Doctor." "Say, as long as I'm here, I've had this pain in my neck ever since" "I'm not that kind of a doctor, you fool!" "As my associates have explained to you, I have a proposition." "MR. EARTH:" "You know, Doc, you're absolutely right." "The Toxic Crusaders aren't very good superheroes." "Now you're talking." "And I'd love to teach them a lesson." "Excellent." "But I can't." "Sorry." "What do you mean, you can't?" "Well, maybe the Toxic Crusaders were right." "Maybe I'm not a real superhero." "I don't even have a superpower." "Dr. Killemoff?" "Who are you?" "You called me on the phone." "I'm Larry, the tailor." "You have some jacket you wanted altered." "Be right with you." "LARRY:" "Right." "What if I could give you a superpower?" "Would you be interested then?" "Heck, I'd be interested then." "Interested in what?" "You know, Bonehead is a good name for you." "You could give me a superpower?" "Take off that jacket." "Yes, I can give you the power of invisibility!" "Here, put this on." "I'd rather have x-ray vision, but invisibility's a cool superpower, too." "Why am I wearing this jacket?" "What?" "What was that, Mr. Earth?" "I can't see you, now that you're wearing the cloak of invisibility." "Say, that's not the cloak of-- Thank you." "That'll be all." "[crash]" "Cloak of invisibility." "Cool." "What's he talking about?" "This guy ain't invisible." "I can see him plain as day." "As plain as the bone on your face." "All you have to do is to keep the Toxic Crusaders busy while I destroy-- while I liberate the shopping mall, and you can keep the coat." "NARRATOR:" "And now these messages." "We now to the Toxic Crusaders." "NO-ZONE:" "So what are we gonna do now?" "Yeah." "We can't just sit around here and mope all day." "But we can't return to superheroing-- not without a license." "That would be the wrong." "Then what are we sitting here for?" "Yeah!" "Let's go get that license." "I've always wanted to learn to drive." "Not that kind of license, you idiot!" "Ugh!" "Why can't you pay attention?" "FENDER:" "What was that, Doc?" "I wasn't listening." "[laughter]" "This is gonna be great!" "That idiot, Mr. Earth, thinks he's invisible, and has set off to stop the Toxic Crusaders." "That should give us just the time we need to set our evil scheme into motion." "You did put an evil scheme into motion, didn't you?" "Oh, sure, boss." "To the mall!" "We've got some shopping to do." "PSYCHO:" "Until the Toxic Crusaders show up." "[crash]" "Sorry, Doc." "I couldn't help myself." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "While Dr. Killemoff, Psycho, and Bonehead were busy putting their evil plan into motion, the Toxic Crusaders and I were waiting patiently to see Mayor Grody about our superheroing license." "Look, sister, we've been sitting here for three hours." "How much longer 'til we get to see the mayor?" "Well, I really couldn't say." "Why not?" "Because the mayor went home an hour ago." "Oh boy." "Great." "Now we'll never learn to drive." "Oh, you have got to be the biggest idiot" "I've ever been attached to." "Thanks." "Not only that, but we still can't be superheroes." "Don't be so sure, sonny." "Take a look at this!" "Uh, two tablespoons sugar, one cup crushed ice, squirt of lime juice" "Nah, that's my recipe for frozen slushies." "Here." "Read the other side." "Uh-- [mumbling]" "Toxic Crusaders, everything's all right!" "Let's go!" "(SINGING) We're the Toxic Crusaders!" "We're the Toxic Crusaders!" "Of that, we're pretty sure." "I know you like to sing that song and all, Yvonne, but technically, you're not really a Toxic Crusader at all." "Jeepers." "I never really thought about it like that." "Thanks for pointing it out, No-Zone." "Here how's this?" "(SINGING) They're the Toxic Crusaders!" "They're the Toxic Crusaders!" "Of that, they're pretty sure!" "That's better." "Jeez." "Everybody's a critic." "Aha!" "I've got you now, Toxic Crusaders." "And with my new invisibility power, there's no way you can stop me." "Wow!" "You've got the power of invisibility?" "Cool." "I still say we need someone with x-ray vision." "Well, I don't have x-ray vision." "Like it or not, I'm just invisible." "You're right, Mr. E. We shouldn't quibble about your superpower." "So, let's see you do it." "Do what?" "Come on." "Stop pulling my tail." "Yeah." "Let's see you be invisible." "But I am invisible." "I'm wearing the cloak of invisibility." "You can't see me." "Look, dear." "It's that awful Mr. Dirt." "Yeah." "And look at that hideous sport coat." "It's not a sports coat." "It's a clock of invisibility!" "Well, whatever you call it, you should get your money back." "It doesn't even fit you." "Don't take it so hard, Mr. Earth." "Women can be cruel when it comes to fashion accessories." "It's not that." "I came to confront you with the aid of my new superpower, and now I find it was all a lie." "Say, why'd you want to confront us, anyway?" "It wasn't my idea." "Dr. Killemoff asked me to do it." "He said if I did I could keep the jacket." "I don't care what the ladies say." "I like the jacket." "[rumbling]" "Say, that sounds like Dr. Killemoff's radiation helicopters." "Hey, they're headed this way." "Come on, Mr. Earth." "You're a good guy again." "Help us stop the evil Dr. Killemoff and foil his plan." "Toxic Crusaders, to the rescue!" "TOXIE:" "Are you sure this is where Dr. Killemoff is going to strike, Mr. Earth?" "Absolutely." "The Tromaville mall." "See?" "Toxic Crusaders?" "What are you doing here?" "It doesn't matter." "You can't stop us anyway, Toxic Crusaders." "Look!" "FENDER:" "Wow, a giant foot." "A giant foot?" "What kind of an evil plan is this?" "Oh, gee, Dr. Killemoff." "You said you wanted to stomp out the mall." "I guess we took you too literally, huh, boss?" "Well, it's too late not." "I hope you at least have a plan to stop the Toxic Crusaders." "Oh, sure, boss." "We're not totally stupid, you know." "OK, radiation rangers." "Sic 'em." "Radiation Rangers!" "And they're headed this way!" "That's right." "And we're headed this way." "I think you're barking up the wrong tree." "I think your friends are over there, radiation ranger!" "Now it's my turn." "PSYCHO:" "Uh-oh, boss." "It looks like the Toxic Crusaders are once again defeating us." "DR. KILLEMOFF:" "No matter." "Because even if the Toxic Crusaders pulverize my radiation rangers, our evil plan is being put into motion." "Toxic Crusaders, look!" "That giant foot is about to crush the Tromaville mall!" "Don't worry, fellas." "I'll get it." "Ah-- ah-- [sneeze]" "TOXIE:" "It's going to hit!" "Leave it to me." "[cheering]" "TOXIE:" "Nice going, Mr. Earth." "How'd you do it?" "I told you I was strong." "But not superhumanly strong." "It's Killemoff." "He's responsible for this." "That's Dr. Killemoff, and we can't let him get away." "Hey, fellas." "I've got an idea." "Give me a hand with this foot." "OK." "Swing." "PSYCHO:" "I hate to say it, boss." "DR. KILLEMOFF:" "I know." "You told me so." "PSYCHO:" "Right." "Ouch." "Well, Mr. Earth, I guess everything turned out OK, after all." "Yeah." "I got to be a Toxic Crusader and beat up on some bad guys." "NO-ZONE:" "And you get to keep the jacket." "MR. EARTH:" "Thanks again." "Now I'm off to find my own Tromaville-- and maybe even my own show." "Hello, fellow Earthlings." "[groaning]" "Just one thing I'd still like to know, Toxie." "What was on that paper that your mom gave you back in the mayor's office?" "Yeah!" "Whatever it was, it kept us from needing superheroing licenses." "It must be a powerful document." "The most powerful-- a note from my mother." "(SINGING) We're the Toxic Crusaders" "Except Yvonne." "(SINGING) The Toxic Crusaders." "NO-ZONE:" "Except Yvonne." "(SINGING) Of that, we're pretty sure!" "[theme music] [music playing]" "THEME SONG:" "Toxic Crusaders." "Toxic Crusaders." "I had no friends, no girls would hug me until I got radioactive ugly." "Toxic Crusaders." "I live in a dump cause the rent's real low." "Got a little pet Blobbie, and he loves me so." "Toxic Crusaders." "Now me and the boys fight against wrong, though we're hideously deformed." "Hey, I'm sitting on top of the world." "With my mop, tutu, and girl." "Whoa!" "Toxic Crusaders." "Toxic!" "[music playing]" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "We were sitting around the toxic dump, watching a religious film-- "The Giant Praying Mantis From the Planet Epsilon" --when suddenly" "Junkyard came in, carrying this weird looking hunk of junk." "Hey, Junkyard." "What's that weird looking hunk of junk you're carrying in?" "[bark]" "It's a tennis ball launcher." "I put it together from some recycled odds and ends I found lying around the dump." "Watch how it works." "[scream]" "Watch out." "That hurts." "Well, what do you think?" "And I thought Fender here was stupid." "What good is a thing like that?" "We don't even play tennis." "Well, you never know when John McEnroe might drop in." "Junkyard's right." "You don't want a guy like that ticked off at you." "[knocking]" "Oh, wow." "I'll bet that's John now." "That shows what you know." "It's only Toxie's mom." "Only Toxie's mom?" "Nice attitude from a guy with two heads." "It's flu season, so I brought you some homemade chicken soup with matzah balls." "Oy!" "[scream] [crash]" "[scream] [crash]" "Mom, are you feeling all right?" "I'd feel a lot better if I had grandchildren." "Huh." "Looks to me like matzah balls are hazardous to you health." "Au contraire, Major." "One of them just broke your picture tube, and everybody knows that too much television is bad for your eyes." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Meanwhile, across the bay in Island Island, our old enemy Killemoff was welcoming some visitors from his hometown planet, Smogula." "Up left aileron." "No, no." "Left aileron." "You're coming in too low." "Watch your altitude." "Watch your trim lab." "Watch out!" "Really, Gerba." "I wish you'd pay more attention to the signals." "Hey, rules are for common riffraff." "I'm a daughter of a czar, remember?" "Oh, how could I forget?" "[groan]" "Now someone get me out of this stupid thing!" "Allow me, Princess Gerba." "[crash] [groan]" "Who are you?" "Well, I'm Dr. Killemoff, your heaviness-- uh, uh, highness." "Welcome to-- [groan]" "Planet Earth." "Killemoff, I expect you to look after my little girl during my visit here." "Understood?" "Uh, you mean you're not staying, Your Czarship?" "Believe me, this planet isn't big enough for both of us." "I believe you." "Well, I'll be holographing off now." "Ta ta." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Then, fate took a strange twist." "It all started in the Tromaville Mall where Princess Gerba was fighting the recession single-handedly." "Ain't you finished shopping yet, Princess Gerba?" "These boxes are heavy." "What a couple of wimps." "Quit complaining and join a gym." "This royal princess is a royal pain." "Stop!" "Lingerie alert." "Oh, that would look darling on me." "I wonder if it comes in blue." "I wonder if it comes in blimp." "Let's see." "I want that one and that one and that one and especially that one!" "Who is that magnificent creature?" "You mean that hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength?" "That's the one." "What a hunk!" "Yeah, well, forget it." "That's Toxie, and he's already got a girlfriend on this show." "Not anymore he doesn't." "What Gerba wants, Gerba gets." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "This next scene is kind of embarrassing, because it's all about how cute I am." "So if you don't mind, I'm not going to watch it." "Killemoff, I just met the man of my dreams." "He's lean, he's mean, and he's kind of green." "He sounds, uh, most attractive." "She's talking about Toxic, boss." "Look, I want to marry him." "And I want you to arrange it for me." "I'm sorry, Princess Gerba." "I'm a ruthless villain, not a marriage broker." "You're absolutely right, boss." "Besides, what if something happened at the last minute to screw up the wedding, and Czar Zosta ended up madder at you than ever?" "Psycho, you babbling idiot!" "Why must you always give away the plot?" "Sorry, Doc." "I guess it's like biting my nails." "I can't stop." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Meanwhile, back at the dump, our shack sweet shack was visited by a mysterious guy in a cape." "Whoever he was, he was a heavy smoker." "[doorbell]" "Hello?" "Hello yourself." "I'd like to show you what's in this suitcase." "[squeak]" "[coughing]" "What in blazes?" "Sorry." "He thought you were a Fuller Brush man trying to sell me a new mop." "Couldn't the idiot see that's it me, Dr. Killlemoff?" "Are we alone?" "It's just you and me and about seven million viewers." "Good." "Because I have some slides I'd like to show you." "I hope they're not baby pictures." "I get all gushy inside." "After you see these, you'll be all gushy outside, too." "This is a Smogulan muck missile." "Range-- 2,000 light years." "This is Tromaville before." "This is Tromaville after." "How disgusting." "What can I do to keep this from happening?" "There's only one way." "Czar Zosta has a daughter named Gerba." "Gerba thinks you're a total hunk." "Gerba wants to marry you." "Gerb." "Now make your choice." "Either you marry Gerba, or Tromaville is completely buried in garbage." "Which will it be?" "I guess I'll have to make the supreme sacrifice." "After all, I'm an environmental superhero." "What can I say but oh." "I'll marry Princess Gerba." "MAN (VOICEOVER):" "And now these messages." "[music playing]" "We now return to the Toxic Crusaders." "[music playing]" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Now that I agreed to marry Gerba," "I figured it was time I broke the news to her." "Princess Gerba, would you marry me?" "Oh, why, this is so sudden." "I had no idea you were going to propose." "Have we met?" "I'm Toxie, a hideously deformed creature of superhero size and strength and all around nice guy." "Please say you'll be mine." "What girl could resist such a romantic proposal?" "The answer is-- ouch!" "Watch it with those pins, you klutz, or I'll peel you like a grape." "Now what were we discussing?" "Oh, yeah, my marrying you." "The answer is yes!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "[crash]" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "When Mayor Grody found out I was going to marry Princess Gerba, he got real upset." "Why should I be the only one?" "[laughter]" "Imagine Toxie and some overweight cockroach getting married." "Ew!" "How totally gross." "It just gives me the shivers." "Yeah." "You'd think a cockroach would have better taste." "She should have picked you instead." "Then you could become the ruler of Smogula once her father, the Czar, kicked the bucket." "Which would probably be the same day he found out his daughter was marrying a crooked mayor." "[gasp]" "What a great idea!" "I'm surprised you thought of it." "Yeah, me, too." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Meanwhile, on the planet Smogula," "Czar Zosta decided to reach out and touch Dr. Killemoff." "He waited till six o'clock when the rates were lower, then he called him up holographically." "Hologram for Dr. Killemoff." "You wished to see me, your royal high and mightiness?" "Yes." "How is Gerba's visit progressing?" "Splendidly, Czar Zosta." "I was just about to call you, but I was waiting until after sixwhen the rates are lower." "The Toxic Crusader has asked for your daughter's hands in marriage-- all four of them." "And she's accepted." "What?" "My little Gerba married to the Toxic Crusader?" "Now, now, Your Czarship." "You're not losing a daughter." "You're gaining a mop-wielding toxically disfigured, tutu-wearing mutant." "Hm." "I never thought of it that way." "Besides, with Toxie on our side, we'll be able to invade Tromaville without any resistance." "Excellent." "I'll make the wedding arrangements immediately." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "The next part was really tough." "I had to break off my hot and heavy romance with Yvonne." "[music playing] [doorbell]" "Why, hello, Toxie." "My woman's intuition tells me that our hot and heavy romance is over." "Boy, I could never fool you about anything." "Oh, Toxie!" "And I thought we had something special." "We did, but something bigger came between us." "Gerba." "It's either marry her or see our beloved Tromaville completely buried in garbage." "You great big, unselfish lug, you." "I could kiss you for that." "Please, Yvonne, you're not making this any easier." "Hey, forget that bleached blond bimbo." "You belong to me now!" "[gasp]" "[coughing]" "Like the song says, when a lovely flame succumbs, smoke gets in your lungs." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Meanwhile, Dr. Killemoff was cooking up another of his evil double crosses." "This wedding ceremony will be the perfect chance for a political coup." "Uh, what's a coup?" "A coo is half ofcoo-coo, you coo-coo." "A coup means an overthrow!" "Once Czar Zosta is here on Earth, you two will grab him." "And throw him over?" "Oh, I like doing stuff like that." "And then I will become the new ruler of Smogula." "But what if Czar Zosta's brand new son-in-law," "Toxie, defends his brand new family and cleans our clock?" "I haven't got time for your psychobabble!" "I have a coup to pursue." "(SINGING) When Toxie was stolen by Gerba, my heart made a sound like a burp-a." "A gut-wrenching blow!" "Oh, poor Yvonne." "Her heart is breaking." "[yvonne singing]" "YVONNE (SINGING):" "Oh, I miss him-- (HIGH-PITCHED) so!" "Not to mention our mirrors." "That brings us to-- [inaudible] 56 years of bad luck!" "Troops, we've got to do something to cheer up the little lady." "It's as plain as the nose on No-Zone's face." "What Yvonne needs is a new main squeeze." "Great!" "Who are we going to get to date her?" "How about me?" "Me!" "Uh-uh." "Not you, Blobbie." "Someone of her own species." "[sigh]" "I know." "We'll all take her out." "Won't that get kind of crowded?" "I didn't mean all of us at once." "We'll take her out one at a time." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "It wasn't easy watching my best buddies romancing my best girl." "The first lucky stiff was Junkyard." "Junkyard, this picnic was a simply marvelous idea." "And all this time, I thought you were nothing but a hound dog." "I'm a mutt of many moods, Yvonne." "Permit me to dispose of your chicken bones." "Can I get you anything else?" "Maybe a shovel?" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Yvonne had just enough time to wash her hair and take a flea bath before her movie matinee date with Headbanger." ""Attack of the Zombie Surfers."" "Nonsense." "Yvonne is much too intellectual for garbage like that." "We'll see "Parameciumon Parade."" ""Zombie Surfers."" "No, "Paramecium on Parade."" ""Zombie Surfers." -[inaudible]." "No way!" "[scream] [fighting]" "While you're at it, take this, too." "No, take this, too." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "While all this dating was going on," "Dr. Killemoff was going over his latest dirty scheme to Bonehead and Psycho." "Now here's the plan." "Bonehead, Psycho, grab the end of this scroll and run." "What's this thing, boss?" "A giant roll of super sticky fly paper." "I plan to trap Czar Zosta in it and make him bend to my will." "Yeah." "That should really bug him." "[laughter]" "[scream]" "No!" "Look out!" "[grunt] [crash]" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Major Disaster-- nature lover that he is-- took Yvonne for a romantic stroll under the trees." "[clearing throat]" "Yvonne, your eyes are the color of, uh, Kentucky bluegrass just after it's been fertilized." "Why, Major Disaster, you sweet talker, you." "Oh, look at those gorgeous bananas." "Would you like one?" "That's easy." "Yo, banana tree, we'll have a ripe on to go." "[music playing] [stretching sound]" "This looks like a good one." "[grunt] [scream]" "[quacking]" "[coughing]" "One good thing about this date-- at least" "I won't have to take another bath." "[coughing]" "Killemoff, how many times have I told you never to hologram when I'm eating?" "Forgive me, Your Beedleness." "It's about the wedding." "Sorry, Killemoff." "Only family and close friends are invited." "I came to tell you that I'd be honored to pay for the entire thing." "Well, in that case, maybe I could sneak you in." "Oh, you won't regret it, sir." "It will be a lovely ceremony." "It had better be!" "Now bug off, Killemoff!" "BONEHEAD:" "Hey, welcome back, Doc." "How was the trip?" "Excellent." "That bloated bug walked right into my trap." "Soon you lunk heads will be looking at the new czar of Smogula." "[laughter]" "MAN (VOICEOVER):" "And now these messages." "[music playing]" "We now return to the Toxic Crusaders." "[music playing]" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "There was only one man in all of Tromaville who was jealous of my upcoming nuptials." "You guessed it" " Mayor Grody." "He still had hopes of marrying Gerba himself and becoming Czar Zosta's son-in-law." "Finally, he saw his big moment." "What is it, Gerba?" "Look, frozen yogurt!" "I'm really into health foods." "Which flavor do you want?" "All of them!" "Oh, hey, what's this?" "A surprise bridal shower?" "[laughter]" "I hope it's one of those where everyone brings a dish." "And they had left was broccoli." "[tires squealing]" "She's gone." "There's something suspicious about this." "It's not like Gerba to run off when there's food on the way." "Uh oh!" "My tromatons are kicking in." "It's those tire tracks." "There's something evil about them." "I'll just bet there's some connection between them and my missing bride-to-be." "GERBA:" "Are we at the bridal shower already?" "Oh, is that barbecue I smell?" "Just bring me half a cow." "I want to leave room for dessert." "Ta-da!" "Aw, you must be the male stripper." "No." "I'm the true love of your life." "Can't you see?" "We're two of a kind." "I forget Toxie." "Meh." "Marry me." "I'm bugs about you." "Yeah, well, you've won me over, mysterious stranger." "What girl can resist such a romantically dashing approach?" "Take me!" "I'm yours." "[groan]" "This will just be a little fling, you realize." "Nothing heavy." "Gerba, what's going on here?" "Uh, Toxie, thank goodness you're here." "This horrible thing tried to take advantage of my girlish innocence." "And worse than that, he stole Mayor Grody's limousine." "Take that, you beast!" "TOXIE:" "It's some kind of weird martian creature." "I'll take care of him." "Shoo." "Scat." "Go back to your own planet." "Oh, my brave, hunky hero!" "I am the luckiest girl in the entire universe." "Mwah!" "[squeak]" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Finally, the big day arrived, along with the Smogulan wedding party." "Actually, I was pretty impressed." "Are you with the groom's family or the bride's?" "Oh, I'm sorry." "I didn't notice your mandible." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Meanwhile, in his Island City penthouse," "Dr. Killemoff was about to put his vicious scheme into action." "All right, men." "I'm about to put my vicious scheme into action." "Is there an echo in here?" "Nah." "You're just hearing things." "Hearing things." "Round up the Radiation Rangers and wait for my signal." "Right, boss." "I can't wait to return to the planet Smogula as their new leader." "Best of all, the TV receptionis so much better there." "Dearly beloved, let the wedding ceremony begin." "Hit it!" "(SINGING) Here comes the bride and groom so happy, but I feel so doomed." "Cause while they're off on their honeymoon," "I'll sit all alone in my cramped little room." "I guess I'm doomed to a life of gloom." "Until they put me in my tomb." "(HIGH-PITCHED SINGING) [howling]" "[crying]" "Do you, Princess Gerba, take this hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength to be your awfully wedded husband?" "You bet your antenna I do." "And do you, Toxie, take this incredibly gorgeous specimen of womanhood for your woof" " I" " I mean, wife?" "What are my choices again?" "He does already." "Now get on with it!" "I'm starved!" "If there's anyone present who sees any reason why these two should not be joined in marriage, let him speak now or forever keep a lid on it." "I hate to interrupt this touching scene, but I'm about to overthrow Czar Zosta." "It'll just take a second." "Hit the deck, insects!" "[screaming]" "Killemoff, you'll pay for this!" "Just send me the bill!" "[laughter]" "Toxic Crusaders, it's clean up time." "That's all I needed to hear." "[sneezing]" "Hey, fellas!" "Have some punch." "It's a knock out." "Watch this, Toxie's mom." "It's called lawn bowling." "[crash]" "Ooh, boy." "You got a perfect strike." "Someone get me out of here!" "That's a royal command!" "Don't worry, future father-in-law." "I'll handle this." "[scream]" "Here." "Let me help you to your feet-- or whatever those things are." "Son, in exchange for freeing us," "I'm postponing the muck missile attack on Tromaville til next Tuesday." "Gosh." "And I thought you were a bad guy." "I am." "You just happened to catch me on an off day." "Why do these things always happen to me?" "I'll get you for this, Killemoff!" "You can run, but you cannot hide!" "Sorry about the interruption, Gerba." "But this always happens towards the end of our show." "We can get on with the wedding now." "Aw, forget it, zits for brains." "I decided to marry someone else." "This is the famous Chef Wolfgag Yuck." "We have so much in common." "Come on, Wolfie." "Let's go back to Smogula and get to know each other over four or five dozen of your famous pizzas." "Hot diggity dogs." "Now you won't have to marry that bow wow Gerba." "[cheers]" "Yvonne, did you hear the good news?" "Gerba dumped me." "I'm all yours." "That's the best news I've heard since my last dental check up." "Doesn't that wedding cake give you some ideas?" "It sure does." "Wouldn't it be a shame to let it go to waste?" "It sure world." "Come on, guys." "Chow time!" "All right!" "Save me some icing." "[chatter]" "Come with me, darling." "I'll make you a nice bowl of matzah ball soup." "[music playing]" "[music playing]" "[whistle blowing]" "NARRATOR:" "It all started when the Toxic Crusaders were getting some well-deserved playtime with a friendly game of football." "Ow!" "Oh!" "Ouch!" "Woah, dude." "That was my hand that got bit, Sorry." "It's your call." "That's better." "Yow!" "Woah." "Toxie!" "What is it?" "My Tromatons are signaling that something evil is nearby." "Jeepers." "And I was hoping it was my new perfume." "No, Yvonne." "This is something even worse." "Uh-oh, what have we here?" "It's some kind of insect." "Maybe it's a free sample of a new product, Bug in a Bag." "In which case-- [screaming]" "Speaking of bugs, Czar Zosta, ruler of Smogula, was driving Doctor Killemoff buggy." "Killemoff, I'm sick and tired of your ineptitude when it comes to handling the Toxic Crusaders." "Do you have any idea how many times you've screwed up?" "I'm not an accountant, your larva-ship." "I'm a ruthless interplanetary invader." "Not anymore you're not." "Your replacement should be arriving momentarily." "You're replacing me with a bag of garbage?" "Not garbage, garbage." "General garbage to you." "Yeah, don't worry boss, I'll get rid of this talking termite." "A talking termite, am I?" "[screaming]" "Now that's a ruthless interplanetary invader." "Killemoff, from now on, garbage is in charge." "But Your High and Mightiness." "Don't argue with me, Killemoff." "Just follow orders." "Ooh, I've got to be holographing off now." "I'm taking my wife to the movies tonight." "Don't want to miss the cartoon." "Killemoff, you fouled up again." "That's why I'm taking over this operation." "What operationis that, General?" "As if I didn't already know." "The most frightening, blood-curdling plan I've ever conceived." "The invasion of the biddy snatchers." "Even as we speak, hundreds of my crack infiltrators are arriving in Tromaville, each one individually sealed for your protection." "Each infiltrator will take a nip of a sweet little grey-haired grandmother." "You bug, skidaddle." "Ow!" "You bit me!" "It will then genetically duplicate the old biddy, creating a perfect clone." "Except for the four arms." "The system still has a few bugs in it." "Oh, my stars [inaudible]." "And that, Killemoff, is my plan in a nutshell." "In a nutshell is where it belongs." "But why little old ladies, General?" "Think about it." "Who would ever suspect some sweet, blue-haired grandmother is actually a Smogulan infiltrator!" "I hate to admit it." "It's an old trick." "But it just might work." "Your job is to make sure that the windows of every old lady in town are broken so that my infiltrators can enter their homes and become their clones." "Yeah, yeah, we'll take care of it." "Until I can figure out away to take care of of you." "Just think." "Soon my biddies will control the cities." "[evil laugh]" "Yeah, yeah, big deal." "While all this was going on, I was at Mom's house for our regular Wednesday night dinner and lecture." "Toxie, darling, don't slurp your soup." "And sit up straight." "You'll grow all crooked." "Mom." "I'm hideously deformed, remember?" "That's no excuse for bad posture." "Uh oh, there go my Tromatons." "Something evil is afoot." "Whatever it is, it can wait." "First you'll eat something, and then you'll save the world." "[glass shattering]" "All right, only 212 more houses to go!" "[tires squealing]" "What was that noise, darling?" "There's a humongous rock in my soup." "All right, so I'm not the greatest cook in the world." "No, Mom, someone tossed it in through the window." "Now why would anyone wantto do a thing like that?" "I don't know." "But I have a feeling it has something to do with the main plot of this story." "I was right, becauseat the very moment," "Bonehead and Psycho were breaking all the windows at the Biddy City Retirement Village." "Thanks for the great dinner and the nagging, Mom." "I'll come by and fix your window tomorrow." "Bring lots of band-aids." "You know what a klutz you are." "Children." "They fill your life with joy." "Hm." "This reminds me, I haven't made matzah balls in ages." "No wonder my Tromatons were acting up." "Little did I realize that my very own mom was about to be the next victim of the invasion of the biddy snatchers." "Oy!" "Tomorrow when Toxie comes to fix the window" "I'll ask him to bring some of Junkyard's flea powder." "Huh?" "Where did you come from?" "And where did you buy that dress?" "No!" "Stop!" "[inaudible]" "Ah!" "Mom was being carried off on her own clone." "The only good part was, I couldn't make out a single word she was saying." "And now these messages." "We now return to the Toxie Crusaders." "[music playing]" "General garbage's plan was right on schedule." "All over Tromaville, his infiltrator clones were carrying their innocent biddy victims to a place of unspeakable evil, Mayor" "Grody's office at City Hall." "Aha!" "My infiltrators have arrived, and right on schedule." "Pay attention, Killemoff." "You're about to see a group of tough, highly-disciplined troops in action." "[indistinct chatter]" "Mom." "What are you doing here?" "I'm not your mom, you fat, sweaty, wart-faced pug." "That's funny." "You sound just like her." "I'm your mom, you fat, sweaty, wart-faced pug." "I can't believe you let them treat your poor old mother like this." "I told you to move to Florida." "Grody, you bum." "When my son Toxie hears about this, he'll tattoo his tutu all over your tumtum." "Forget it, darling, you're wasting your breath." "Enough of this." "Lock up your originals and report back here for briefing." "More schlepping?" "Oy!" "And this one weighs a ton." "Just do as you're told." "[interposing voices]" "Troops, it's time for Operation Kvetch." "Now get out there and nag, criticize and complain." "I want this town cleared in 48 hours." "Now get moving." "General, darling, couldn't we stop for some Danish and coffee, hm?" "The answer is no." "Now forward!" "March!" "Left." "I left my kids [inaudible]." "Right." "[inaudible] right." "There, Killemoff." "After a couple of days of non stop whining," "Tromaville will be ripe for a Smogulant invasion." "Yeah, but what if the Toxic Crusaders' strange mutant abilities let them defeat the infiltrator bugs and the real biddies bust out of jail and kick butt on the fake biddies." "Killemoff, what is this blisterhead babbling about?" "Ignore him, General." "I always do." "And see where it's gotten you." "Talk about bad timing." "Mother's Day was coming up." "And since none of them had mothers of their own," "Yvonne and the guys were sitting around discussing what to get my mom." "I think flowers would be nice." "And upset Tromaville's delicate ecological balance?" "Oh-ho, no way." "How about a couple of cases of raw hot dogs?" "It's a gift that keeps on giving." "I know." "We'll buy her an encyclopedia." "Forget it, dude." "She's too old to ride any kind of cycle." "Hi, Yvonne." "What brings youto the toxic dump?" "I just came over to help the boys pick out a Mother's Day gift for your mom." "Did you say-- [stammering]" "Toxie!" "What's going on?" "Yeah, what's shaking?" "I mean besides you." "Thanks, mop." "I needed that." "What happened to you, Toxie?" "I don't know." "When I heard the word M-O-M." "I went into full Tromaton alert." "Which means" "That something awful has happened to Mom." "See." "It happens every time I say the word Mo-- [stammering]." "Right." "We get to the point." "Let me say it another way." "Fellas, you-know-who is in serious trouble." "I must go find her." "Toxie, while you'relooking for you-know-who, keep an eye out for Mom!" "[stammering]" "Teeheehee!" "Oops." "Sorry." "Meanwhile, the infiltrator clones began driving the good people of Tromaville out of the city with their constant nagging." "You snore like a hippopotamus with a sinus condition." "Not only that, but you dropped crumbs all over the carpet." "No one was safe from the endless nagging, not even Lloyd and his family." "[inaudible], is it too much to ask that you feed my grandchildren a proper diet?" "Nutrition is very important." "A five-year-old can't live on junk food and television, you know." "It looked like Operation Kvetch was a complete success." "Soon there'd be no one left to defend" "Tromaville against invasion but the Toxic Crusaders." "Well gentlemen, it looks like Operation" "Kvetch is a complete success." "Soon there'll be no one left to defend Tromaville against our invasion." "Except the Toxic Crusaders." "The who?" "The Toxic Crusaders." "A group of hideously deformed creatures of superhuman size and strength." "Ah, they're no match for my highly-trained infiltrators." "Mayor Grody, I need a road block." "Aye, aye, General." "You came to the right place." "He wants a blocked road, not a blockhead." "Rah!" "One day I'm gonna rip your android head off and use it for a bowling ball." "Believe me, you'll never miss it." "Mop and I were on the way to-- you-know-who's house to check things out when suddenly here came Mayor Grody's limo, and headed straight for me!" "Young man, you're in big trouble." "You mean aside from being a toxically-disfigured mutant?" "Worse." "As the head of the Biddy Committee to Keep Tromaville Pretty, you and the other Toxic Crusaders have been declared too ugly to be allowed to live within the city limits." "What exactly does that mean?" "It means you and your toxically-mutated friends are being deported." "Eh, I guess it could be worse." "To Siberia." "No it couldn't." "[mop whimpering]" "My mom's on that committee." "I bet if she were here she'd have something to say about this." "You're darn right she would." "Mom!" "What happened to you?" "You grew two more arms." "So?" "What's the big deal?" "One year when you were little you grew two more feet." "Mom, tell me you don't want me to leave." "Siberia is that way." "Now get going." "OK, Mom." "If that's what you really want, I'll go." "This is so sad." "I think I'm going to cry." "Good thing there's a commercial coming up so I can blow my nose." "And now, these messages." "We now return to the Toxic Crusaders." "After Mom broke my heart, I had to go back to the toxic dump and break a few of my own." "Siberia?" "That's what Mom said." "And you know me, I never disobey my mom." "After that came the saddest thing I ever had to do, say goodbye to my girlfriend Yvonne." "Hi, Yvonne." "Bye, Yvonne." "Jeepers, that was a short visit." "This isn't a visit, Yvonne." "It's goodbye." "The Toxic Crusaders have to move to Siberia." "It's some new law about us being too ugly." "How cruel!" "With all those biddies driving everyone out of Tromaville, it's gonna be awful dead around here." "Maybe I'll leave town, too." "Hey, I got an idea!" "Why don't you come to Siberia with us?" "Nah." "It wouldn't work for my songwriting career." "Nothing rhymes with Siberia, except hysteria." "Now Miami, there's a great town to write songs about." "You've got your sammy and your hammy and mammy, not to mention clammy and Alabammy." "And in a stretch, salammi." "So there it was." "I was going to Siberia, but my heart was on its way to Miami." "Blast it!" "General garbage's crackpot plan is actually working." "People are leaving Tromaville in droves." "You should be happy, boss." "We've been trying to clear out Tromaville for this entire series." "Yes, but we were supposed to do it, not some one-shot guest villain." "Yeah." "If General garbage succeeds, we're out of a job." "I never thought I'd say this, but we need the Toxic Crusaders." "Ew." "Gross." "Forget it." "Toxie's mom's clone kicked them all out of Tromaville." "They're moving to Siberia." "Ew." "Grosser." "I'll never understand why that hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength always listens to his mother." "I want you to bring the Toxic Crusaders to Island City." "If we're going to defeat garbage and his army of biddies, we'll need their help." "Finally, it was time of go." "We were all kind of down in the dumps about leaving the dump." "Oh it sure is sad leaving this whole place." "I've got a lot of memories buried here." "Me too." "Only mine are bones, and I didn't have time to dig 'em up!" "Chin up, Crusaders." "Siberia is a place filled with dumps, and one of them has our name written all over it." "We still couldn't believe it, after all we'd done for the town, we were being deported just for being ugly." "Ferry now leaving for Siberia." "All aboard!" "You wait til these jerks find out we're taking them to Island City instead." "Yeah." "Are they in for a big surprise." "Oh, Toxie." "What if I want to call you or something?" "Do they have phones in Siberia?" "I doubt it." "But don't worry, Yvonne." "I'll keep in touch somehow." "Do you think we could have some stirring music?" "Why certainly, Toxie." "No, not you." "I mean background music." "[music playing]" "Thanks." "Yvonne, one day I'll return to Tromaville and change that anti-ugly law and get rid of Mom's extra arms, and also turn off the bathtub-- which I think I forgot to do." "Goodbye, Yvonne." "So long, Toxie!" "If you ever move to a city that rhymes, call me." "It was a voyage full of surprises." "The first surprise was finding out that Siberia is only 10 minutes from Tromaville." "Next stop, Siberia." "All ashore that's going to shore." "Dr. Killemoff, what are you doing in Siberia?" "This is Island City, you dodo." "Toxic Crusaders, I have a proposition for you." "Defeat GeneralGarBage's infiltrators, and you can return to Tromaville." "Honest?" "Cross my fingers and hope to die." "Yeah!" "Yes!" "All right!" "Way to go!" "But a strange thing was happening at Tromaville City Hall." "Mona, take a letter." "Um, how's this one?" "Fine." "Now send it airmail." "There." "That must have been exhausting." "Here." "You'd better sit down for a while and catch your breath." "Oh, Mr. Mayor, you certainly are an understanding employer!" "While Grody and Mona were playing kissyface, there was a jailbreak in the works." "And it was being pulled off by my very own mom!" "OK, girls." "No [inaudible] in sight." "Let's make a break for it." "The last one to leave turns out the lights." "[interposing voices]" "A biddy break?" "No, ladies!" "Back in your cells!" "You too, Mom." "Outta my way, sonny." "Or I'll kick ya." "Now that my mother's an escaped felon," "I guess I can kiss my reelection goodbye." "By the time we got back to Tromaville, all the citizens had fled." "The place was a ghost town." "The perimeter is all clear, troops." "Not an infiltrator clone in sight." "[WAR CRIES EMERGING FROM DISTANCE]" "Uh-oh!" "It's an ambush." "Shouldn't we be fighting back, Toxie?" "No way, Major Disaster." "We can't hit little old ladies, even if they aren't little old ladies." "Maybe you can't, Toxie, darling." "But we sure can." "Mom?" "I'll teach you to hit my baby boy, you old bag." "You old bug." "If I've got bunions, you've got bunions." "That's what you get for wearing my dress." "But then the weirdest thing of all happened." "OK, ladies." "Let's nuke 'em with our blue henna hairspray." "Ready, aim, spray!" "[shrieking]" "The infiltrator clones shrunk back into little bugs." "How humiliating." "We hideously deformed creatures of superhuman size and strength rescued by Mom and her friends." "Well your mother won't be able to help you now." "Charge!" "Radius Rangers!" "Now those dudes we can handle." "Toxic Crusaders, it's clean-up time." "[music playing]" "Now it's our turn to charge!" "On the trees, commence firing!" "Junkyard headed for the nearest fire hydrant." "At first I thought it was just all the excitement, but he had a different plan in mind." "Mop, where are you going?" "Hairspray?" "But I don't have any hair, remember?" "Oh, I get it!" "That's using your mop head!" "What are you doing?" "[inaudible]." "Full retreat back to Smogula." "Hey, wait up, General!" "You don't want to leave without your cute little buddies now do ya?" "Ah-foo!" "Back in Island City, Dr. Killemoff was pretty happy, too." "Pretty neat, boys, getting those Toxic Crusaders to do our work for us." "Yes." "And now with General garbage out of the way, guess who will be back in charge." "You, boss?" "For once, Ikel, your prediction is correct." "Telegram for Dr. Killemoff." "Ah." "That will be Czar Zosta now." "Congratulations, Killemoff." "You are back in charge of Operation Tromaville." "I figured you'd see the light." "No offense, your Czarship, but you should never a send a bug to do a ruthless interplanetary invader's job." "Yeah, well this time, don't screw it up." "All the citizens returned to Tromaville, just in time for Mother's Day." "Yvonne had written a special song for the occasion." "And it goes something like this." "(SINGING) Mom is the one who tolerates the toxic radiation you exude." "(SINGING) She fills you full of knowledge" "(SINGING) And sends you off to college" "(SINGING) She's always there to bring you extra clothing and food." "(SINGING) Her chicken soup will keep you going even through an acid rain." "(SINGING) She sees you through the scrapes and bumps of living in a toxic dump." "(SINGING) Living in a toxic dump." "[crying]" "Yeah, I know just how you feel, Blobbie." "I got sensitive ears, too." "[howling]" "We didn't have time to buy Mom a present, so instead we all pitched in and baked her a nice, gooey cake." "Oh, you darling boys." "I wish you hadn't done that." "[sneezing]" "Like I said, I wish you hadn't done that." "[music playing]" "THEME SONG:" "Toxic Crusaders, Toxic Crusaders," "I had no friends, no girls that hugged me so I got radioactive ugly." "Toxic Crusaders, Toxic Crusaders!" "I live in a dump, 'causethe rent's real low." "Got a little pet [inaudible], and he loves me so!" "Toxic Crusaders, Toxic Crusaders!" "Now me and the boys fight against wrong." "Oh, we're hideously deformed." "Hey, I'm sittin' on top of the world with my [inaudible]." "Wow!" "Toxic Crusaders, Toxic Crusaders, Toxic!" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "It was a peaceful day in the toxic dump." "We were all getting ready to go to the Tromoville" "Pier, where Yvonne was scheduled to give a singing recital." "We were all kind of nervous and high strung." "Now-- let's see now." "Is it right over left or left over right, or is that for a sheep shank caffage?" "Are you sure you know how to tie a bow tie, Fender?" "No sweat, Bender." "Before I got stuck with you, I was a total party animal." "Ugh, sorry, Doc, I guess I lost my touch." "Ever since I washed my helmet, I can't do a thing with it." "MRS. JUNKO:" "Oh, I wish you people would quick hogging the mirror." "I need time to make myself beautiful for Ivonne's recital." "Forget it, Toxie's mom." "We don't have until next St. Bernard's Day." "MRS. JUNKO:" "Oh, such times we're living in, when a dog can talk back to a superhero's mother." "Speaking of the head talks man, where is the dude?" "He's the star of the show, fungus brain." "He's allowed to make a grand entrance if he wants to." "[drum roll]" "Hi, everyone." "I came to let you wish me good luck with my concert." "Well sure, Yvonne, break your leg." "If you're lucky, they might replace it with a wheel, just like mine." "Let's hear you test those angelic pipes of yours, honey." "[singing] [plates crashing]" "TOXIE:" "I feel kind of funny wearing a tuxedo, but after all how many times will my girlfriend Yvonne get a chance to sing in public?" "In her case, probably just once." "What happened, No-Zone?" "Oh, Yvonne hit one of her high notes." "Now that can really be a low note." "Uh, tell me about it." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Meanwhile, on the Tromoville Bridge, something was about to happen that would affect all of our lives." "You see, there was this racing car driven by that world famous race driver Crash Shelby on his way to the Tromoville grand prix." "But the prix was not to be, because a moving van was on the bridge ahead of them." "Yeah, honey, I'll stop at the diet drive-in on the way home." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "I guess the driver didn't notice the sign warning him not to throw banana peels on the bridge." "[crash]" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "It looked like Crash was about to break another speed record, along with his skull, when suddenly a strange thing happened." "He landed in a fishing boat loaded with snails." "It seems the combination of snail shells and engine oil yielded a weird chemical reaction, along with an even weirder kind of cross-bred mutant." "Oh no, I've changed into some hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength." "And I look like a snail." "Oh well, I might as well make the most of it." "Under the circumstances, I think I'll call myself Snail Man!" "Now all I need is a good battle cry." "I've got it." "Let's escort Go" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Meanwhile, on Island City," "Czar Zosta was paying Doctor Killemoff a visit." "CZAR ZOSTA:" "Well, Killemoff, what's the latest on my underwater Aqua Filther project?" "DR. KILLEMOFF:" "Everything is going swimmingly, Your Czarship." "But now that it's completed, what will it be used for?" "I'll show you." "But pay attention." "There'll be a quiz later." "We have developed a method of manufacturing that annoying plastic foam stuff that your VCR is packed in that you can never figure out how could you read that, and we plan to pollute all of Tromoville with it," "driving out the citizens and populating the city with our own smogulent hoard." "Bravo, Czar Zosta." "I love it." "Like you had some kind of choice." "Now, I'll need some men for a special assignment." "I have just the people, Your High and Mightiness." "Bonehead!" "Psycho!" "Ughh, I was afraid you'd say that." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "And all the while," "Snail Man was trying to adjust to his new life as a mollusk." "Look, Harry, a guy who's half raising cod, half snail." "Yeah, you don't know whether to step on the gas or to step on him." "[laughter]" "People can be so cruel." "I must find a way to bring dignity and respect to my life." "There's the answer, a plumber's helper's plant." "This is it." "The place where I will carve out a newer life for myself." "No longer will anyone dare make fun of" "THEME SONG:" "Snail Man." "Snail Man!" "It is kind of a catchy tune." "DR. KILLEMOFF:" "Here they are, Your Czarship." "The perfect volunteers for your special assignment." "You better be right, Killemoff." "Listen, you mutant misfits." "In order for the Aqua Filther to create its plastic foam pollution, it needs filth and lots of it." "Filth?" "You know, dirt, gunk, Schmutz." "Sure, boss, Schmutz is our specialty." "The problem is those blasted Toxic Crusaders." "We keep dirtying Tromoville and they keep cleaning it up." "Yeah, they got this real hangup about pollution." "That's why I want you and the Radiation Rangers to invade the toxic dump and bring back every scrap of filth you can lay your hands on." "Do you think you can handle it?" "No sweat, Zarro, buddy." "Bonehead knows dirt." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "While all this was happening," "Snail Man was practicing hour after hour, learning everything there is to know about handling a plumber's helper." "With these new found skills, Snail Man was now ready to face the world." "Back at the dump, we were finally dressed and on the way to Yvonne's concert when a strange vehicle pulled up at our shack." "Oh, Toxie, you rented us a limousine." "So, what did you expect?" "My little Toxie is a limo kind of guy." "Uh-oh, Tr--tromoton alert." "What is it, Toxie?" "It's when my tromotons are telling me we're in the presence of some evil danger." "No, dude, Bender means what kind of danger." "Heck, whatever it is, usToxic Crusaders can handle it." "No, Junkyard, don't open that door!" "[scream]" "Radiation Rangers!" "NARRATOR:" "And now, these messages." "NARRATOR:" "And now, we turn to the Toxic Crusaders." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "As we watched, dozens and dozens of Radiation Rangers kept climbing out of the limousine." "Oh wow, how neat!" "I think I once saw this in the circus." "I think I once saw you in a circus." "Let them start something." "We're ready for them." "Wait, Crusaders, you can't fight them." "Why not, Toxie's mom?" "You think there's too many of them?" "Did we suddenly lose our superpowers?" "Is the episode over?" "No!" "You can't fight them because you're wearing your best clothes!" "It's OK, Mom." "They're rented." "Oh, well in that case, get down and dirty." "[firing]" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "The battle wasn't going too well, and the bad guys-- mainly Psycho and Bonehead-- knew it." "(LAUGHING EVILLY) We got the Toxic Crusaders right where we want them." "Yeah, down in the dumps." "OK, Radiation Rangers, charge!" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Like I said, things were going badly for us, especially for Mom, when suddenly" "THEME MUSIC:" "Snail Man!" "That music sounds awfully familiar." "Maybe this is a re-run." "THEME MUSIC:" "Snail Man!" "SNAIL MAN:" "Don't worry, Snail Man will help you fight these bad guys." "Snail Man?" "Where did he come from?" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Tromoville River." "It seems the combination of snail shells and engine oil created a weird chemical reaction." "Now that part I know I heard before." "I bet he's great to play fetch with." "He never loses the ball." "Don't just stand there, you metal morons." "Blast that tree." "Pardon my back." "Gahhh, get it out, quit it!" "I believe "Seize fire" is the phrase he's searching for." "Oh right." "Seize fired!" "Why can't we get to fight some normal human beings?" "Who would ever watcha show like that?" "Oooo, radical." "The dude's shell is harder than-- than" "I believe my head is the phrase you're searching for." "Oh, right, harder than your head." "It's time to slime." "Now the guy's got super snail slime sludge too." "I'm impressed." "And I'm impressed that you could pronounce it ." "Personally, this has been one of the more embarrassing episodes for me." "Who was that thing with the plunger?" "I don't know." "But the last thing this show needs is another hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength." "Get him off, I'm losing my gentle disposition." "Bonehead and Psycho have failed, as if I didn't expect it." "Now, where are we going to get filth for my Aqua Filther?" "Never fear, Your Bugship." "I just had a brilliant idea." "The moment the Tromoville garbage barge passes directly over our underwater sludge quarters," "I'll torpedo it." "That will give us all the trash we'll need." "Are you certain it will work, Killemoff?" "You have my word as a doctor on it." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "It turned out that there were still a few hours left on the limo the Radiation Rangers had rented for the attack on us, sowe decided to drive it to Yvonne's recital." "SNAIL MAN:" "And I fell off the bridge and onto that barge and that's how I became Snail Man." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "The casual ride gave us a chance to get acquainted with our new friend Snail Man." "Faster, Toxie's mom, faster!" "I live for speed." "Fine words coming from a snail." "SNAIL MAN:" "Wow, way to go Toxie's mom!" "Floor it!" "Well, I hope everyone has his, her, or its seat belt on." "Say, Snail Man." "You're a hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength who also had an environmental accident." "Why not become a Toxic Crusader?" "Move in with us here at our beautiful dump." "Righteous notion, No-Zone." "NO-ZONE:" "Yeah, and your super suction plungers would sure be helpful with our toxic plumbing problems." "It's a mighty tempting offer, guys, but since my mutation" "I'm strictly a creature of H2O." "MRS. JUNKO:" "Okay, everyone, we're here." "What perfect timing." "The ride gave us just enough time to learn a little of Snail Man's back story." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Somehow, we made it safely to the end of the pier." "It was kind of sad saying goodbye to our new friend Snail Man." "Sure you won't change your mind, Snail Man?" "We could build you your own toxic wading pool." "Thanks, Crusaders, but my place is with other underwater creatures like myself." "See you around-- [splash]" "Now there's a fellow who knows how to make a splash." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Meanwhile, deep below the Tromoville" "Harbor, Doctor Killemoffs' evil plan was being put into action." "As for those containers the Radiation" "Rangers are setting up, I have no idea what they're for." "You'll find out soon enough, my fine toxic twerp." "Psycho, Bonehead, prepare the sludge peels for firing." "It's garbage time." "Step right up, culture lovers." "And have your dollar bills ready." "Remember, all money collected from this concert goes to a very good end." "NO-ZONE:" "This is Yvonne's first music recital." "Oooo, I hope she's not nervous." "She'll be fine, No-Zone." "Mom's backstage with her." "Now, remember to dance around, sweetie." "You want to be a moving target when all those vegetables come flying in." "And believe me, they will." "Oh, Toxie's mom, you're such a comfort." "Now go out there and knock them dead." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "But at that very moment," "Killemoff was starting the countdown for the smogulent sludge-pedo." "DR. KILLEMOFF:" "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six-- and what comes before six?" "Three?" "Or is it twelve?" "Don't ask me, you're the scholar of the group." "It's fine, you dipstick." "Five, four, three, fire slug-pedo!" "Close enough." "NARRATOR:" "And now, these messages." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER:) When we last saw Doctor" "Killemoff's sludge-pedo it was headed straight for the Tromoville garbage barge." "It was all part of Czar Zosta's plan to smother Tromoville with that white plastic foam stuff that VCRs come packed in and no one knows how to get rid of." "I know this is a lot of recapping, but you kind of forget the story when you stop for a bunch of commercials." "Meanwhile, the lovely Yvonne was about to make her public singing debut." "I don't want to brag, but everyone who was anyone was there." "It was the social event of the season, which gives you an idea of a social life in Tromoville." "Finally, the big moment arrived." "(CLEARING THROAT) Hi, I'd like to start my recital with an original song I just made up and it goes something like this." "(SINGING) Oh I wrote this little song and if you want to sing along I'd love to let you but you really shouldn't try." "You could hurt yourself by singing way too high." "[crash]" "Oh man, what an awesome note." "Suddenly, I found myself having another full-fledged tromoton attack." "Look, fellows, Toxie's having another full-fledged tromoton attack." "And like he's added some new moves." "Yeah, go Tox-man, go." "[crash]" "What is it, Toxie?" "It wasn't Yvonne's singing that caused the garbage barge to blow up." "It was something evil out there in the water." "Lloyd, look, the Tromoville garbage barge is leaking refuse into our harbor." "Oh, this is awful." "Fellows, this looks like a job for the Toxic Crusaders." "Stop!" "How many times must I tell you you've got to wait at least fifteen minutes after eating before going into the water to fight bad guys." "[all talking]" "No, sorry, sorry, those are the rules." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "While we were waiting to digest our peanuts," "Doctor Killemoff was carrying out his evil scheme." "DR. KILLEMOFF:" "Czar Zosta, this is a historic moment." "Just watch as the Tromoville garbage is sucked into the Aqua Filther's sludge quarters by way of our specially constructed filth follow." "And now, my faithful Radiation Rangers use the latest technology to trans-smogify the garbage into the that white plastic foam stuff." "Please, Mom, you got to let us swim out to that garbage barge." "Doctor Killemoff is planning to smother" "Tromoville in that white plastic foam stuff." "Yeah, yeah, I heard the voiceover." "But I've got a better idea." "Look!" "TOXIE:" "The Toxic Wing?" "MRS. JUNKO:" "Yeah!" "I asked the ladies from my Mahjong club to fly it over." "Now are you happy?" "Happy?" "If you weren't my mom, I'd kiss you!" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Meanwhile, Doctor Killemoff himself came down to the garbage barge to supervise the operation." "PSYCHO:" "I'm not getting paid enough to work with garbage." "Hey!" "I resemble that remark." "It looks like my plague is a huge success." "Soon we'll have enough garbage to filthify all of Tromoville." "Unless the Toxic Crusaders come flying out here on one of Bender's whacked-out inventions." "Psycho, I'm going to forget you ever said that." "Said what, sea boy?" "I forgot it also." "Good!" "Now hurry with that filthifying process." "[all talking]" "Wow!" "Slow down man!" "I think I'm going to be air sick." "Not in my doggy bag you won't." "MAJOR DISASTER:" "Target sighted." "No-Zone, prepare to land." "In all that garbage?" "With my allergies?" "No way, Major Disaster." "Seaweed and kelp, give us some help!" "NO-ZONE:" "Oh, wow, dynamite trick Mr. Major, man." "Yes, sometimes I even amaze myself." "Come on, fellows." "Let's shake a leg." "I've sure had lots of practice doing that." "Look, Bard, it's the Toxic Crusaders and they're flying on one of Bender's whacked-out inventions." "Notice, I'm not saying a word." "Well, don't just stand there, you cretins!" "Fight them off." "Radiation Rangers, hit the deck." "Enemy troops at three o'clock." "It's only 11:30." "Maybe we ought to come back later." "This is the part I really dig." "Attention, seaweed, you know what we need." "What do you say Bob?" "Shall we swap a few slobs?" "Psycho, Bonehead, you two stay and defend the garbage barge at all costs." "If you need me, I'll be in my impenetrable bunker 60 feet below the ground." "Now where have I heard that before?" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "But suddenly, the tide of battle turned against us." "The Radiation Rangers were getting the upper hand, while back on the pier Mayor Grody was cashing in on the big battle." "Get your binoculars out." "You can't see the blood shed without a binocular." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "It looked like the end of the Toxic Crusaders, when suddenly [theme music]" "It was Snail Man, coming to my rescue." "Snail Man, am I glad to see you!" "Wow, you snails really know how to slug." "That's nothing." "Watch this!" "Thanks, Snail Man, for everything." "Hey, us hideously deformed creatures of superhuman size and strength have to stick together." "Ooooo, yeah, I see what you mean." "But wait, my job here isn't finished yet." "I got to remove this garbage maker from my new underwater domain." "Besides polluting the harbor, it's bringing down real estate value." "This will take all of my 240 horsepower." "[crash]" "There." "Now to dump this thing where it belongs, on the shores of Island City." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "As usual, Killemoff got chewed out by Czar Zosta." "Killemoff, you screwed up again." "You will pay dearly for this." "In that case, there's only one thing left to do." "Bonehead, Psycho, you screwed up again." "You will pay dearly for this." "Okay, boss, how much is it this time?" "Let's see, there's $50 for shame and degradation, another $50 for pain and humiliation and $75 for distress and aggravation." "[cheering]" "TOXIE:" "Thank you, faithful citizens of Tromoville, but the cheers aren't necessary." "Though they are kind of nice." "It was our job to make Tromoville safe and free from environmental hazards." "And now-- shhhh-- now that the threat to Tromoville was taken care of, we could continue with Yvonne's concert." "[clears throat]" "As I was singing before I was interrupted, [singing]" "Oh, I wrote this little song and if you want to sing along," "I'd love to let you but you really shouldn't try." "You could hurt yourself by singing way too high!" "[crash]" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Sorry about your TV sets, folks." "We'll try and get them repaired before the next episode of [drum roll] the Toxic Crusaders." "[theme music]" "THEME SONG:" "Toxic Crusaders!" "Toxic Crusaders!" "I had no friends, no girls that hugged me till I got radioactive ugly." "Toxic Crusaders!" "I live in a dump because the rent's real low." "I got a little pet Blobbie and he loves me so!" "Toxic Crusaders!" "Now me and the boys fight against wrong though we're hideously deformed." "Hey, I'm a sitting on top of the world." "With my mop, tutu, and girl." "Wow!" "Toxic Crusaders!" "Toxic!" "(SINGING) (IN UNISON) We're the shopping crusaders!" "We're the shopping crusaders!" "Of that we're pretty sure of!" "TOXIE:" "We Crusaders were on our way back to toxic dump with our day supply of food." "You can work up a real appetite being a hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength." "Except for Junkyard." "He put himself on a special diet." "[growling]" "My doctor said to cut down on red meat." "He never said anything about white bones." "Makes sense to me." "Fender, have a little brain food for your very little brain!" "TOXIE:" "Meanwhile, a short distance away," "Mayor Grody had just opened up another of his money making scams." "It was a stink bomb factory." "Mayor Grody always was on the cutting edge of progress." "To make the stink bombs, some radiation Rangers were throwing old tires onto a fire." "Other rangers were burning old move films." "And believe me, some of them were real stinkers!" "The problem was, the factory was right next door to another of the Mayor's money makers." "Grody's Home for Golden Oldies." "[coughing]" "Which is when we came on the scene." "Look!" "Those poor, old codgers are being bombarded with second hand smoke from the stink bomb factory." "[growling]" "Why, that's dog gone unfair!" "Toxic Crusaders to the rescue!" "I'll handle this!" "Major Disaster, some ragweed, if you don't mind?" "A little ragweed is what we need." "[sneezing] [gasping]" "Yeah." "Up you go, granny." "[coughing]" "Oh, thank you for saving our lives." "Now get off the lawn!" "Bad dog!" "Sometimes it ain't easy being man's best friend." "Toxic Crusaders, it's clean up time!" "DR. BENDER:" "Radiation Rangers!" "I might have known." "Let's chill out these dudes." "Whoa, you left two of them standing, man." "Don't play me, you're the one who goofed." "FENDER:" "Did not!" "At ease, Headbanger." "I'll handle this." "Yes!" "It's a simple 7-10 split!" "Fellas, let's fix this factory so it can no longer pollute our unsullied Tromaville air!" "[cheering] [howling]" "Tadaa!" "Not bad, Junkyard, but watch this!" "[walls crumbling]" "And the winners are Fender and Bender!" "(IN UNISON) Why do you think they call us Headbanger?" "Uh, oh, troops." "Time to sound retreat!" "[screaming] [rumbling]" "(IN UNISON) Hip, hip, hooray!" "[coughing]" "TOXIE:" "The kindly, old folks were so grateful we torn down the factory that they invited us to stay for dinner." "Thanks to you, there's plenty of food to go around." "We can use this last burning tire to barbecue some rice pudding!" "Yeah." "We'll [inaudible] and then just some teeth to chew it with." "And then afterwards, we can sit around and watch an old movie." "I hear this one's pretty hot!" "You folks are real kind, but we wouldn't dream of taking the food out of your mouths." "And especially not the teeth!" "Ew!" "Yuck!" "Bluck!" "TOXIE:" "Just then, who should come driving by, but Mayor Grody." "Huh?" "My beautiful, profit making, stink bomb factory!" "Totally destroyed!" "What could have happened to it?" "Well, it could have burned to the ground." "Or it could have been blown over by the wind." "Or it could have been in an earthquake." "But it was none of the above." "We Toxic Crusaders knocked it down because it was polluting the air." "Emitting dangerous hydrocarbons into our atmosphere." "Which just plays havoc with the plant life." "Just ain't nothing to what it does to my-- a-- allergies." "[sneezing]" "You haven't heard the end of this and you haven't seen the end of me." "Yes, we have, dude, and it's not a pretty sight." "TOXIE:" "That's when Mayor Grody decided to call on that Smogulan ambassador and all around that bad guy, Doctor Killemoff." "Killemoff, you got to help me get rid of them" "Toxic Crusaders!" "Then you'll be free to pollute Tromaville to your heart's content." "Hm." "That's right." "And then I can bring in my hoards of Smogulan countrymen." "And countrywoman." "Don't forget the country women." "Grody, you've got a deal." "As you earthlings say, one hand washes the other." "You're in luck, Grody!" "I have a scheme for disposing of the Toxic Crusaders that we haven't tried yet." "You say you want a truck that's rugged, yet comfortable, huh?" "Luxurious, yet the basic." "Cheap, yet expansive." "Powerful, yet weak." "Fast, yet slow." "Huh?" "And most of all, it's gotta be big!" "How about this two ton, two tow job." "Isn't she a beauty?" "Even bigger!" "Oh, well, this one?" "Bigger!" "Well, all right then." "This one!" "Let me explain." "We're looking for a truck that's capable of crushing, and crunching, and mangling, and squashing a shack, along with all of its occupants, to a pulp." "Oh!" "A recreational vehicle!" "Why didn't you say so?" "Gents, I've got just what you're looking for." "It was owned by a little, old lady who only drove it in destruction derbies." "So what do you think of this baby?" "DR. KILLEMOFF:" "It's perfect." "We'll take it." "A wise decision." "Would you like to have it gift wrapped?" "No thanks." "We prefer to deliver it ourselves." "[laughing]" "MAYOR GRODY:" "I'll drive" "NARRATOR:" "And now these messages." "We now return to the Toxic Crusaders." "(SINGING) Oh, the ankle bone's connected to the knee bone." "The knee bone's connected to the leg bone." "TOXIE:" "Meanwhile, at the toxic dump," "Junkyard was laying in a store of bones for the winter when he suddenly came across something." "JUNKYARD:" "Wh-- well, what do you know!" "What have we got here?" "[groaning]" "Whatever it is, it's darn heavy!" "Well, I'll be dog gone!" "It's a car." "Kind of." "Well, fellas, what do you think?" "Whoa!" "Wheels." "I can truly dig it!" "You're too late." "Junkyard already dug it, although why he did," "I'll never know." "Fellows, I just thought of something." "We could rebuild this thing and turn it into a free cab service." "Right." "And help all those less fortunate citizens of Tromaville who can't drive." "Yes, like sick people who are confined to their beds." "Or teenagers who've been grounded." "Or scofflaws whose cars have been towed away." "Or short folks whose feet don't reach the pedals!" "Why, we could go on for hours!" "I think we just did." "TOXIE:" "With all of us pitching in, pretty soon our cab was starting to take shape!" "Unfortunately, it wasn't in the shape of a cab, but we couldn't afford to be fussy." "I think I got the engine working." "[engine sputtering] [screaming]" "All right!" "A perfect fit." "These are the only tires I could find, Toxie." "One from a car, one from a truck, one from a bicycle, and one from a kiddie car." "I chased them all personally." "Like I said, we couldn't afford to be fussy." "Even mom pitched in!" "An old couch!" "This will make a great backseat for a great backseat driver!" "TOXIE:" "Finally, it was finished." "And we were ready for the big unveiling!" "Like, ready, man?" "Set, go!" "Oh!" "[cheering]" "Hm." "There's something familiar about this thing." "Naturally, darling boy." "It's got your face." "[wheezing]" "But it's got my nose!" "TOXIE:" "Bender created a special fuel, made from a combination of garbage and septic ground swill for the cab to run on." "[engine sputtering]" "Then it blows it out its exhaust in the form of sweet smelling, life giving oxygen." "Now it was time to give our car a name." "Everybody had a different suggestion." "How about Spot?" "Or General MacArthur?" "Or Shnozola?" "Or Garibaldi?" "Or just plain, old Baldy!" "Forget it!" "I've already got the name." "We'll call it, Toxi-Cab!" "[wheezing]" "Toxi-Cab?" "No, no." "I don't like that." "No, no, no." "I don't like it." "[snorting]" "On second thought, I love it!" "Totally perfect o-moniker!" "It has a certain bite to it." "Top notch choice." "Then Toxi-Cab it is!" "[wheezing]" "Wow, boss, this thing is humongous." "I needed something to make up for your mini size brains because you to yutzes are going to drive it to the Tromaville dump and crush the Toxic Crusaders once and for all!" "We are?" "And it's only the beginning." "From there, we'll start crushing all over the world." "Sounds like fun, but how do we get way up there?" "Simple." "[screaming]" "Ow!" "Now practice driving that thing." "Right, boss!" "No!" "No, no, no, no!" "Whoa!" "[coughing]" "Do you suppose this is some sort of poetic payback from my always playing dirty?" "TOXIE:" "We let mom have the privilege of test driving the Toxi-Cab out of respect for her age and her tender gender." "Mostly because she was the only one who had a driver's license." "Way to go, Toxie's mom!" "Put the pedal to the metal!" "Yeah!" "Feel that latex substance obtained from the sap of a tropical tree!" "TOXIE:" "It was then that we learned a painful lesson about the Toxi-Cab." "[crashing]" "It was a convertible." "[whining]" "At least it was painful for poor Toxi-Cab." "We also learned that because Toxi-Cab had spent years buried in that toxic ooze, it had develop certain mutant abilities." "Like avoiding potholes." "That afternoon, I planned a real, romantic surprise." "Boy, Yvonne won't believe it when I take her for a spin in our new Toxi-Cab." "Whoa, Toxman, here she comes now." "Must you always be such a snitch?" "Now remember, fellas, not a word about the Toxi-Cab." "Don't worry, Toxie." "Our lips are zipped." "We'll keep your secret, no matter how much she noses around!" "[sneezing]" "DR. BENDER:" "Gesundheit." "Oh, darn, I wanted to surprise you!" "You, too?" "Man, what a coincidence!" "Idiot!" "Is there something going on I should know about?" "No, something you shouldn't know about." "You see, I-- da-- da-- oo-- oops!" "Toxie, what is going on here?" "We-- we-- we-- yeah, bu-- bu" " I can't tell you." "How dare you keep secrets from me!" "Well, you see" " I" " I-- that is-- uh, well, um" "Well, if that's the way you feel, goodbye!" "TOXIE:" "Yvonne was so upset, shewent to visit Madame Gazonga, the locally franchised gypsy of the nationwide chain of fortune telling parlors." "So before we begin, you want I should talk like the way I'm talking now?" "Or do you wish me to speak like Zsa Zsa Gabor?" "That costs $3 extra." "I really prefer the accent, but I gotta count my pennies." "Whatever you say, lady." "OK." "So what's on your mind?" "My boyfriend, Toxie, is acting real peculiar and I want to know why." "All right." "Let's see what the old crystal ball shows." "Oh!" "I see the problem." "The guy found a new interest." "She looks to be like about a 20 year old model with a really classy chassis." "[gasping]" "So that's it!" "He's found another lady!" "Oh, no, no!" "She's no lady!" "She's a" " Stop!" "Don't say it." "I don't want to hear it." "And I thought people in Brooklyn were weird." "[crying]" "TOXIE:" "Poor Yvonne." "She mistakenly thought I'd fallen for another woman." "No!" "Men, you can't trust them as far as you can throw 'em." "I think there's a song in that." "And it goes something like this." "(SINGING) Oh, you can't trust a man as far as you can throw him." "And you just can't ever throw him far enough." "First, he'll tell you there's not other, then he'll dump you for another!" "He'll be gone before the going gets tough!" "Oh!" "Baby!" "TOXIE:" "That evening, I pulled up at Yvonne's house to take her for a surprise ride, but instead, I was the one who was surprised!" "It was a goodbye note with no forwarding address!" "YVONNE:" "Dear Toxie, au revoir." "Adios." "Arrivederci." "Auf Wiedersehen." "And a lot of other words that begin with the letter, A." "I never want to see you again!" "Love and kisses, Yvonne." "Oh, no!" "NARRATOR:" "And now these messages." "We now return to the Toxic Crusaders." "[motor sputtering]" "TOXIE:" "Good, old Toxi-Cab came in real handy for the house bound folks of Tromaville." "We used it for just about everything." "From delivering groceries to shut ins, to dropping kids off at school, to taking pets to the vet." "[dogs barking]" "To driving little, old ladies to bingo games and driving little old men to the little old ladies." "As for me, I was too worried about Yvonne to join in the fun." "Oh, maybe she was in some kind of trouble!" "I was one, sad sack of toxic turf!" "If it wasn't for Mop and Blobbie," "I don't know what I would have done." "[nose blowing]" "Meanwhile, in the Tromaville City Hall," "Mayor Gordy was also suffering." "Killemoff, what's taking so long with your plan?" "That non-profit taxi cab those Crusaders are operating is cutting into my profits!" "Ah, Grody, what are you blabbering about?" "All those good deeds they're doing free," "I used to charge those old pieces for!" "Your troubles will soon be over." "The Crusader Crusher is on its way to Tromaville now!" "All right, Boathead, drive it on board." "OK, boss." "We're ready to roll!" "[engine starting]" "I thought this sort of thing only happened in cartoons." "TOXIE:" "Back at the toxic dump, my mind was still on Yvonne when the Crusaders returned from doing their good deeds." "Come on, Toxie." "Let's drive over to the baseball field and look for diamonds." "No, you fellas go without me." "I'm too upset about Yvonne missing." "Poor Toxie!" "This Yvonne thing has hit him like a ton of bricks." "2000 pounds is more like it." "Like I've always said, love is for the dogs." "TOXIE:" "Doctor Killemoff hadn't given up yet." "He was still determined to crunch us Crusaders." "Neat idea, huh?" "Flying us in for a sneak air attack!" "Yeah, but what if someone touches the wrong button and we get dropped?" "Don't be stupid!" "Which button is going to do that?" "I don't know." "It could be eenie, meenie, minie, or even mo here-- [screaming]" "TOXIE:" "I found myself in downtown Tromaville where Yvonne and I had spent so many happy hours together." "It was pure torture." "Everywhere I looked, I saw her face before me." "I couldn't escape it." "She was everywhere." "I was at the breaking point." "I knew I needed professional help." "Suddenly, there it was!" "Madame Gazonga's fortune telling parlor." "[snoring] [engine rumbling] [wheels crushing]" "Hey!" "Fellas!" "We're under attack by Bonehead and Psycho driving the biggest truck I've ever seen!" "How come my dog house is always the first thing to go?" "Don't sweat it, troops!" "We'll counter attack with our own combat vehicle." "Stop that truck!" "[car wheezing]" "Oh, fine." "Hey, desertion in the face of danger." "Bummer, dudes." "Instead of a checkered cab, we've got a chicken cab." "Fellas, looks like we're going to have to handle this thing ourselves." "Everywhere I look, I see my girlfriend's face." "It's horrible!" "Look, there it is now!" "(SINGING) Do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti, do." "Oh, you're right." "It is horrible!" "Yvonne!" "You came back!" "But not for you, you two timer!" "I forgot to pick up my laundry at the Bowl and Fold next door." "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to get a life." "I hope you and your new found happiness will be happy." "New found happiness?" "What new found happiness?" "You know, the one with the classy chassis." "[car screeching] [beeping]" "You mean the Toxi-Cab here?" "Your new love is a car?" "That's what I tried to tell you, lady." "Huh?" "[wheels screeching]" "Hm." "Boys and their toys." "TOXIE:" "Back at our dump, sweet dump, the battle wasn't going too well!" "Sound retreat, men!" "[horn squeaking]" "I hate to say it, fellas, but it looks like the end of the Toxic Crusaders." "Not so fast, amigos!" "Scope out who's coming!" "JUNKYARD:" "Well, dog my cat!" "It's Toxi-Cab." "NO-ZONE:" "So that's why he drove off, to bring back our fearless leader, Toxie!" "And all this time we thought he was a yellow cab!" "Toxie, are we glad to see you!" "That huge truck is about to crush our shack to smithereens!" "Whatever smithereens are." "Me and Toxi-Cab will handle the truck." "You fellas take care of the Radiation Rangers." "It's moments like this that make me proud to be a Toxic Crusader." "Under Toxie's inspired leadership, how can we lose?" "It's moments like this that make me proud to work for Doctor Killemoff!" "Under his inspired leadership, how could we lose?" "Ah ha!" "It's weeds we needs!" "[ray blasting]" "Cowabunga!" "[screaming]" "(IN UNISON) Toxic Crusaders rule!" "TOXIE:" "Doctor Killemoff was pretty upset about losing his truck." "You bubble brained idiots!" "Losing a Crusader Crusher is nothing to be sneezed at." "Sorry, boss." "[screaming] [crashing]" "(IN UNISON) Gesundheit!" "(SINGING) (IN UNISON) We're the Toxic Crusaders!" "Oh, we're the Toxic Crusaders!" "Of that we're pretty sure of." "Bee, doo, bee, doo, bee, doo, be, doo!" "Pretty sure of." "[music playing] [music playing]" "THEME SONG:" "Toxic Crusaders." "Toxic Crusaders." "I had no friends, no girls would hug me until I got radioactive ugly." "Toxic Crusaders." "I live in a dump cause the rent's real low." "Got a little Blobbie, and he loves me so." "Toxic Crusaders." "Now me and the boys fight against wrong, though we're hideously deformed." "Hey, I'm sitting on top of the world." "With my mop, tutu, and girl." "Whoa!" "Toxic Crusaders." "Toxic!" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "It was springtime in Tromaville." "And just as I was about to plant the seeds of a story for another Toxic Crusader episode," "His Honor Mayor Grody was asking all the good people of Tromaville to plant a few seeds of their own." "Is this on?" "Yeah." "[clearing throat]" "My fellow Tromavillians, it is with great pride that I announce the commencement of Beautify Tromaville Week." "[growl]" "Now, Blobbie, everyone has the right to his, her, or its opinion, even an overweight basically corrupt mayor." "As part of my Grody Says Just Say Grow campaign, I myself will be passing out free seeds to help beautiful your lawns and gardens." "Grody Says Just Say Grow" " I like that." "Maybe the mayor's not such a bad guy after all." "Planting flowers is nice, even though I'm not thrilled about all the pollen it's going to bring." "I just hope these seeds grow into trees." "Guys, it's our hideously deformed duty to keep Tromaville clean." "So we've got to support the mayor's" "Beautiful Tromaville Week." "But what can we do?" "Nothing will grow in the [inaudible] soil around this dump." "Lighten up, Bender man." "There's tons of landscaping we can do over at Toxie's mom's place." "That's a great idea, Fender." "It's clean up time at Mom's!" "Just say grow!" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "As we moseyed on over to Mom's, Mayor Grody was picking up a few more votes." "Here you go." "Happy planting." "Why, thank you, Mayor Grody." "Now that's what I call a flower bed." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "While we all thought Mayor Grody was finally planting something good, in actuality, something sinister was sprouting, especially back on Island City." "I'll take it from here, you blumpy headed lout." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Sure, Dr. Killemoff." "Kilowatt." "I kind of forgot what comes next, anyway." "All right, Mayor Grody." "You may come in now." "I've done what you've asked, doctor." "So far I've given out 3,462,272 of your free seeds." "Now at my commission at $0.03 each, you owe me-- let me see now." "If I take this and carry it over, I'll" "A lot of dough." "Here." "Yeah, that's it." "A lot of dough." "[laughter]" "Gotta go." "Excellent." "Those stupid Tromavillians have taken the bait." "Soon those sinister seeds Czar Zosta sent us from Smogula will be in full bloom." "I don't get it, boss." "How's planting beautiful flowers going to toxify Tromaville?" "Bonehead, you fool!" "The fancy flowers are a floral facade." "Soon Tromaville will be faced with a monstrous mass of vicious vines and violent vegetation unlike anything you've ever seen!" "And maybe even a special big surprise at the end of the show." "Oh." "[laughter]" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Since it was already quite clear that this episode was about gardening, we got right to work beautifying the city." "Attention!" "Leaves, about face and march out of this place!" "MRS. JUNKO:" "Oh, boy." "You're doing such a wonderful job." "Don't thank us, Mom." "Thank Mayor Grody and his Beautify Tromaville Week." "Don't tell me that Mayor Grody has turned into a good guy." "It sure seems that way, Toxie's mom." "And I've written a special song for the occasion." "(SINGING) While strolling through the garden one spring," "I discovered such a beautiful thing." "Oh, Toxie, when you work with dirt," "I'm so proud to be your skirt." "It makes me want to flirt and sing." "La, la, la!" "Thanks, Yvonne." "That was a sweet song." "Oh, no." "Dandelions." "Uh oh." "This won't be pretty!" "Ah-- ah-- ah-- In coming gale force winds!" "Take cover!" "[inaudible]." "Ah-- ah-- ah-- Quick thinking, Mop." "Ooh, that was close." "Thanks, Mop." "You're a real friend." "[blowing nose]" "Yuck." "I don't know, boss." "The Toxic Crusaders planting Czar Zosta's sinister seeds." "I don't think that's such a good idea." "Psycho, I don't need your advice!" "If Czar Zosta didn't want to use his putrefying plant life on the Toxic Crusaders, he would have told me so." "Killemoff, you bad-brained bug!" "Why are the Toxic Crusaders planting sinister seedlings at Toxie's mom's house?" "Well, Czar Zosta, I" " I thought" "Don't think." "That's my job." "But if the Toxic Crusaders are going to plant my seeds, then you better be sure they get rid of that military mutant, Major Disaster." "His plant controlling powers might interfere with my plants-- uh, plans." "Oh, yes, your Czarness, all great and powerful one." "I'll get rid of Major Disaster right away." "See that you do!" "If you have to, hire another bad guy." "Fender, we need more seeds." "Ow." "Huh?" "Hey, Major Disaster." "Sergeant Psycho reporting for duty." "Psycho!" "Let go of my leg!" "And that's an order." "Hey, Major Disaster!" "Hey, you." "Freeze!" "Hey, you." "Sneeze!" "Uh oh." "Not-- not again." "[inaudible] [sneezing]" "[chatter]" "OK, Rangers!" "Make rain!" "[yelling]" "Hey!" "My goodness, it's raining cats and dogs." "I resemble that remark." "Yvonne is right." "I think I just stepped in a poodle." "Will you look?" "It just stopped raining." "Awesome arrangement." "Well, dog my cats." "[gasp]" "A rainbow." "It's enough to make me want to compose a song." "Every rainbow has its cloudy lining." "Or something like that." "[music playing]" "My bone!" "My house!" "My goodness." "My guess is we've got some heavy duty problems in act two." "[music playing]" "MAN (VOICEOVER):" "Andnow these messages." "[music playing]" "We now return to the Toxic Crusaders." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "The sinister seeds and weird weeds were rapidly strangling the houses in Tromaville." "Fun, ain't it, Toxic Crusaders?" "Yeah, these weeds kind of grow on you." "[laughter]" "Hey, watch it." "B-- b-- back, wicked weed." "Back, I say." "Oh!" "Oh, oh, oh, oh!" "Whoa!" "Uh oh." "Geronimo!" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Without Major Disaster, we were having a tough time trying to whack the wicked weeds." "And what's worse, the bad guys were hiring more help." "[laughter]" "BONEHEAD:" "We got him on the ropes now, Doc." "All set, boss." "The ad is running in today's "Tromaville Times."" "Ad?" "What ad?" ""Bad guy needed." "Long hours, low pay, but lots of dirty, messy fun."" "You bumbling buffoon!" "I don't need more help." "Everything is going according to plan." "But Czar Zosta said to hire another bad guy." "Besides, the guy's here already." "Oh, all right." "Send him in." "The name's Mower Man, but you can call me Mower Man." "Hm." "Mower Man." "I like the sound of it." "Yeah, boss." "It's really cutting edge." "You get it?" "Cutting edge?" "Yeah, only kidding, Mower Man." "It says here you were last employed as a gardener." "What happened?" "Do we have time for a flashback?" "Always If." "It's good and gory." "Oh, this one's gory, all right." "You see, here's how it happened." "Like my resume said, I was a gardener by trade." "Clipping and pruning were second nature to me." "Then one terrifically hot day, I decided to take a little siesta inside a metal gardening shed." "It was so hot, the door to the shed got welded shut, trapping me inside." "[explosion]" "The next thing I knew, I was a hideously deformed gardener with super humans hears and strength." "And I was out of work." "Hm." "You seem like a sharp guy." "You're hired." "Now I have a very special assignment for you." "Don't worry." "I can cut it." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Meanwhile, back in Tromaville, the beautiful flowers Mayor Grody handed out were turning into wicked weeds and indestructible ivy." "And they were going way out of control." "It's no use." "They're growing faster than we can contain them." "Dudes, without Major Disaster's powers to help, these wild thing weeds are going to win." "Hey, who are you?" "[music playing] [scream]" "It's cut up time." "[music playing]" "What a low down trick." "Just when I started my diet." "Fore!" "[laughter]" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "We finally managed to drive off Mower" "Man and the Radiation Rangers." "Hi, Lloyd family." "Sorry about your picnic being ruined." "But we did manage to rescue half a hoagie." "No problem, Toxie." "Now we can go to Burpo Burger, which is much better than eating Mrs. Lloyd's cooking." "Yay!" "Hooray!" "Yippee!" "Yuck." "Talk about your hideously deformed heroes." "Wait a minute." "Tuna fish, peanut butter, and cream cheese." "My favorite." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "We may have won the battle, but with Major Disaster still missing in action, even the tuna, peanut butter, and cream cheese had lost its charm." "Bonehead, how do you like Dr. Killemoff's private zoo?" "Here we have a fine specimen of the toxicus crusaderus." "Toxicus crusaderus." "Gee, they sure are ugly." "You guys know darn well my name's" "Disaster" " Major Disaster." "Oh, yeah?" "You're the one who likes plants, right?" "Well, let's see how you like this." "She loves me." "She loves me not." "She loves me." "She loves me not." "Stop, please!" "You're hurting it." "Come on, Bonehead." "We got more important things to do." "Yeah, like toxifying Tromaville and destroying the rest of the Toxic Crusaders." "You, keep an electric eye on our pal, Major Disaster." "What a bunch of meanies, picking on a poor, defenseless petunia." "Hm." "Maybe I can put that petunia to work." "It's time to get on with the show." "Petunia, do your stuff and grow!" "OK, vine." "I've done my time." "Not so fast, plant [inaudible]." "Holy hedge clippers." "It's a hideously deformed bad guy with super human shears and strength." "[groan]" "Forget it, fungus face." "You're my prisoner now." "[laughter]" "This Mower Man is working out quite well." "Bonehead, I want you to step up the sinister seed program to phase two." "You mean" "Yes, release the mutated strain of sotophinthesis plants." "S--s--oto-- phinthesis." "[stammering]" "I think he means photosynthesis." "No, your brainless baboon!" "Photosynthesis is good." "Sotophinthesis is bad." "My sotophinthesis plants breathe in oxygen and exhale carbon monoxide, causing unsuspecting humans to have coughing fits, teary eyes, and runny noses." "Oh." "Kind of like being in a room with you, huh, boss?" "Get to work!" "Huh, that's some impressive set of snippers you got there." "I bet you must work hard to stay in shape." "You know, it takes dedication." "I work out at the gym three days a week and visit my blade sharpener every Thursday." "You know, I was thinking, Mower Man, while we're sitting around waiting for act three, maybe you could give me a little trim." "Sure." "Why not?" "I never could resist a bit of fine pruning." "Gee, how about those Dodgers?" "Wait till next year." "[snipping]" "There." "Finished." "What do you think?" "What do I think?" "I think I'm out of here!" "Gee, what about my tip?" "You want a tip?" "Never underestimate a Toxic Crusader!" "Major Disaster, your battles have just begun." "MAN (VOICEOVER):" "And now these messages." "We now return to the Toxic Crusaders." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Back in Tromaville, the bad guys were getting ready to release their soto--phin-- uh, sotophinenin in-- you know." "They were up to no good." "Say, wasn't that-- Nah, it couldn't be." "Here." "Let me help you with this [ATTEMPTING" "TO PRONOUNCE "SOTOPHINTHESIS"]" "Sotosynthphis." "Uh, sotophishan six." "Soto." "Look." "We ain't got all day." "Just call them bad seeds and keep planting em, all right?" "[music playing] [screams]" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Meanwhile, Mower Man was still chasing Major Disaster all over Tromaville." "Oh, stately elm, so big and tall." "Let us have an early fall!" "It'll take more than this to stop Mower Man." "[laughter]" "You!" "A gardener." "How can you use your gardening gifts for evil?" "I get paid to cut things down and to capture you!" "[growling]" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "All over town, we Toxic Crusaders tried to stop people from planting the sinister seeds." "Excuse me, folks." "But we have reason to believe that the free seeds Mayor Grody gave out are actually part of an evil plan to toxify our fair town of Tromaville." "H--h-- how could that be?" "Look at all of these beautiful flowers." "That's right." "Mayor Grody's done a great service to Tromaville." "He's got my vote." "Sorry, folks." "But my tromotons never lie, and they tell me we're in the presence of some great evil." "[music playing] [scream]" "Oh!" "[laughter]" "You think you're such a star, Toxie." "Well, welcome to Hollywood and Vine!" "If only our good buddy Major Disaster were here." "He'd know how to put these evil plants in their place." "Thanks for the compliment, No-Zone." "It's the Major!" "He's back." "Ah, thank goodness." "Don't thank goodness, dude." "Thank the writers." "Yay!" "All right!" "Major's back!" "It's clean up time!" "Let's go, Mr. Smarty Plants." "Do your stuff." "Ivy and weeds, shrink back into seeds." "[music playing]" "What's that?" "A blast of heroic trumpets in the key of C." "What-- what's wrong, Major?" "It's no use." "These plants are unlike anything I've ever seen on Earth-- or even a Toxic Crusader show." "[music playing]" "The name's Mower Man, but you can call me Mower Man." "Pleased to meet you, Mr. Mower Man." "Say, are you a good guy or a bad guy?" "A bad guy, you nasal nitwit." "Gee, don't you remember battling with me in act two?" "Oh, yeah." "See, I'm a little fuzzy-headed this episode, because of my allergies and all this pollen." "[scream]" "OK." "Next dance." "It takes two to tango, Mower Mess." "And now it's my turn." "Chill out, dudes." "Look!" "Something's happening!" "[music playing]" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Suddenly, all the weeds and vines came together to create a tremendous, humongous, gigantic, really big weed monster." "So this is the evil plan Dr. Killemoff was talking about way back in act one." "Yep, this is it, all right." "Pretty neat, huh?" "[growl]" "Oy!" "All this excitement is making me thirsty." "Excuse me, sonny." "Could you give me a hand?" "Or whatever those things are." "Gee, what's that?" "A sting of evil music." "No." "That." "It was my prune juice." "Now it's my ex-prune juice." "Did you say prune juice?" "Exactly." "Like in no sense crying over spilled prune juice." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Now to an old time gardener like Mower Man, the word prune meant only one thing." "And once Mower Man got the urge to prune, there was no stopping him." "Prune!" "Radiation Rangers, retreat!" "[growl]" "Wow!" "Look at that." "[cheers]" "The idiot!" "What has he done?" "Uh oh, boss." "When Czar Zosta finds out about this, he's going to really chew you out." "Killemoff, you idiotic insect!" "Once again, I've handed you the perfect plan to toxify" "Tromaville, and you blew it!" "W-- wha-- what is that?" "I don't think it's the tooth fairy." "It's a remulad dental creature." "The better to chew you out with." "[growl]" "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" "Oh, oh." "I told you so." "Ahem." "Testing one, two, three." "Testing." "[feedback]" "That wasn't me." "Citizens of Tromaville." "[coughing]" "Um, and hideously deformed creatures of superhuman size and strength." "We are very pleased to announce that Beautify Tromaville" "Week was a terrific success." "[cheers]" "What in blazes?" "Thanks to that Mower Man guy and our own Mayor Max Grody" "Your Honor, we present you the remains of the wicked weed monster!" "[cheers]" "Thank you, my friends." "Uh, thank you!" "Oh hoo hoo!" "Ooh, ow, ee, oh, ooh." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "And so with another exciting episode winding to a close, there were just a few loose ends to take care of, like getting rid of all these clippings." "Until Mop came up with a brilliant idea." "[inaudible] [sneezing]" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "As for Mower Man, he had to go find another job." "Gee, here's one." ""Politician needs full time paper shredder to destroy evidence."" "Hm." "I think I'll give this guy Grody a call." "[music playing]" "[music playing] [music playing]" "THEME SONG:" "Toxic Crusaders." "Toxic Crusaders." "I had no friends, no girls that hugged me til I got radioactive ugly." "Toxic Crusaders." "I live in a dump cause the rent's real low." "Got a little pet Blobbie, and he loves me so." "Toxic Crusaders." "Now me and the boys fight against wrong, though we're hideously deformed." "Hey, I'm sitting on top of the world." "With my mop, tutu, and girl." "Whoa!" "Toxic Crusaders." "Toxic!" "[music playing]" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Things were pretty quiet in Tromaville, so we Toxic Crusaders decided to pitch in and do some community work." "We were helping to decorate the park for the upcoming bicentennial bash." "By the way, Junkyard, what exactly is a bicentennial?" "I think it's one of those bugs with 100 legs." "Negative." "Bicentennial-- it's got something to do with buffaloes." "Bicentennial means 200." "It's the 200th anniversary of when" "Tromaville was first founded." "Oh, wow." "I never knew it was losted." "No, you dipstick." "Founded means when it was first started." "Oh, wow." "I never knew it was stopped." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "While we were busy decorating the park," "Dr. Killemoff was busy doing some decorating of his own." "This is humiliating." "We were hired to be bad guys, not bad house painters." "So far, you'regetting more paint on me than on the ceiling." "Ah, there's nothing like the smell of noxious paint fumes in the morning." "You clods missed a spot on the ceiling." "Sorry, boss." "We'll take care of it right away." "Hey!" "How am I supposed to get down from here?" "How about falling?" "[scream]" "WOMAN (ON INTERCOM):" "Hologram for Dr. Killemoff." "Hologram for Dr. Killemoff." "Why, Czar Zosta, forgive the mess, but we're in the middle of redecorating." "Killemoff, I'm sick and tired of waiting for you to toxify Tromaville." "I'm planning my own Tromaville invasion with a hot air balloon." "KILLEMOFF:" "With Toxie's face on it?" "It's to gain the people's confidence." "But actually it's filled withvile, choking, put rid fumes, which will be released over the city to make Tromaville more livable for the Smogulan population that will follow." "An excellentide a, your bugship." "The hot air balloon will land this weekend at the heart of Tromaville Park." "A terrible idea, your bugship." "What?" "They're holding some sort of bicentennial celebration there." "Not to worry." "By the time we're through with them, it will be a bye-bye-centennial." "[laughter]" "You just make sure those Toxic Crusaders aren't around to foil our scheme." "I must think of a way to get rid of those Toxic Crusaders for the weekend." "But how?" "[crash] Ah!" "That's it!" "What a brilliant idea." "Psycho, you're a genius." "I am?" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "We were back at the shack resting up from a hard day of booth building and balloon blowing when suddenly there was a loud knocking at the door." "[knocking]" "Hi there." "What can I do for you?" "PSYCHO:" "I know you can't tell by looking at me, but I happen to be a hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength just like you." "It's always nice to meet a fellow mutant." "PSYCHO:" "I'm Tin Can Man, the result of an explosion in a paint factory." "Hey, we all have our shaggy dog stories." "And you'll hear them all at our upcoming convention." ""Come to the once in a lifetime annual convention of hideously deformed creatures of superhuman size and strength!"" "Games, contests, and lots of neat prices." "Three days and two nights at the elegant Weehawken Wilton." "Sorry, but we're busy this weekend." "It's Tromaville's bicentennial." "[groan]" "Aw." "I've always dreamed of a weekend in Weehawken." "Me, too, Toxie." "Bicentennials come along every 200 years." "Who knows when there will be another hideously deformed creature convention." "He's right." "Think about it." "Well, OK." "We'll go to the convention." "Yes!" "[cheers]" "BONEHEAD:" "All right!" "Way to go!" "PSYCHO:" "It worked, boss." "Those stupid Toxic Crusaders are going to Weehawken for the weekend." "Perfect." "My plan to allow the Smogulan hot air balloon to land is working." "[laughter]" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "This was a day for people knocking on other people's doors." "Mayor Grody came to call on Mom." "So why is a big shot like you visiting a schlepa like me?" "Is it election time?" "No." "It's raising the rent time." "But I'm as poor as a church mouse." "There's no need to come up with the money right away." "[laughter]" "Tomorrow will be fine." "How can I pay this humongous rent on my tiny pension?" "It's times like this I wish my Toxie was a CPA." "I guess there's only one thing left to do." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Mom, spunky little spitfire that she is, head straight for the Hire and Fire Employment Agency." "Send in the next applicant, please." "I'm not fussy." "All I want is a simple little job that pays a lot of money and has plenty of coffee breaks, a terrific parking space, long lunch hours, and a major medical plan." "Oh, really?" "So does the entire world." "You're a very sweet boy." "You won't forget to file my application now, huh?" "[door closing]" "Huh, right." "I'll file it under N for no way!" "[laughter]" "Excellent work, Killemoff." "It was brilliant the way you got the Toxic Crusaders to leave town for the big hot air balloon arrival." "You're most kind, your buginess." "Killemoff, you deserve some help on this project." "What you need is an extra pair of hands." "I already have an extra pair of hands." "No, no, no, no." "I'm talking about a girl Friday-- someone to handle the numerous, annoying details of the upcoming invasion." "That's a splendid idea." "I'll find someone immediately." "Good." "I'll be bugging off now." "Hello?" "Hire and Fire Employment Agency?" "I'm looking for some office help." "The hours are terrible." "The salary is worse." "There are no lunches or coffee breaks, and we have no parking or medical plan." "Oh, have I got a girl for you." "PSYCHO:" "Hey, boss, your new secretary's here." "Oh, I always wanted to work for a doctor in case" "I got a paper cut." "To-- to" " Toxie's mom?" "What are you doing here?" "Oh, haven't you heard?" "I'm your new girl Friday." "Girl Friday?" "OK." "Woman Friday." "Try Grandma Friday." "[kissing sound]" "You don't know how honored I am to have a woman like yourself working for me." "Oh, yuck." "Enough with the kissing." "This is strictly business." "But of course." "Can you start immediately?" "Oh, boy, you're some slave driver." "I'll tell you what." "I'll be back after my two hour lunch just in time for my coffee break." "I can't believe it." "Toxie's mom working for me." "What an incredible stroke of good fortune." "Why's that, boss?" "Don't you see?" "Not only will I be able to keep tabs on the crusaders' activities, but I hear she also cooks a mean pot of chicken soup." "Yeah, boss, but what if-- Psycho!" "Don't say it." "[music playing]" "MAN (VOICEOVER):" "And now these messages." "We now return to the Toxic Crusaders." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "It was so exciting." "All we could think about was our upcoming trip, except for Headbanger." "Talk about banging heads." "You're not planning on taking that hang glider, are you?" "Most assuredly, dude." "Weehawken is the hang gliding capital of the world." "But I detest hang gliding." "It's dangerous." "What's the problem, man?" "You want to live forever?" "Not if it means sharing a body with you." "Wimpazoid." "Cretin." "Wuss." "That does it!" "You're coming to my laboratory with me." "Whoa." "Like I got a choice, right?" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Then and there, Bender decided to invent something that would help solve his problems with Fender and give this story a plot." "Right you are, Toxie's voiceover." "Behold my patent pending brain switcher." "Far out." "Like, what's it do, dude?" "With any luck, I'll meet another horribly deformed creature at the convention who's willing to switch brains with you." "Way rad." "I hope he's a surfing kind of guy." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "I was trying to stuff Mop into a suitcase-- no sense paying extra fare-- when suddenly" "Mom showed up at the dump." "Hello, sonny!" "What's with the packing?" "I've got the greatest news, Mom." "We Toxic Crusaders are going to a creature convention in Weehawken." "That's nice, darling." "But my news is better than your news." "You're looking at Dr. Killemoff's brand new executive assistant." "[whistle]" "I can't believe it." "My very own dear, sweet mom working for Killemoff?" "That's Dr. Killemoff, darling." "But he's a bad guy." "He may be bad, but his money is good." "Oops." "Gotta run." "I don't want to be late for my first coffee break." "Ciao, sweetie pie." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "I hate to say it, but Mom really organized Killemoff's life." "I told you before!" "That's Dr. Killemoff." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Sorry, Mom." "Well, so what do you think?" "I put all of your crimes in alphabetical order." "See?" "Arson under A, bribery under B, and kleptomania under C, because I wasn't sure how you spell it." "Toxie's mom, you're marvelous." "I don't know how I existed without your help." "[kissing sound]" "Oy vey." "I warned you before about that kissing." "You're right, of course." "I deserved that." "The woman is phenomenal." "In one day, she's put this entire office in order." "I don't know about this, boss." "What if hiring Toxie's mom causes you to get zapped by a ray from one of Bender's inventions that turns her into you and makes you lose your mind?" "Lose my mind?" "Have you lost your mind?" "Now go back to doing whatever it is you do around here." "I'm worried, Bonehead." "With Toxie's mom taking over like this, you and me could get the heave-ho." "[gasp]" "You're right, Psycho." "We gotta do something to protect our jobs." "But what?" "I know." "We'll get the boss some inside info on the Toxic Crusaders." "You and me are going to the toxic dump and dig up some dirt." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "It was the perfect time for Psycho and Bonehead to sneak into the dump, because we were all over at Yvonne's house where she invited us for a bologna and balloon blowing party." "Great idea, huh?" "Free bologna sandwiches just for blowing up some balloons." "My trouble is I always get the two of them mixed up." "[pop]" "See what I mean?" "Yvonne, come back!" "Stand aside, Toxie." "My mulch gun will take care of this." "[pop]" "Please, Yvonne, you've got to stop blowing up balloons." "I can't help myself." "It's like potato chips." "It's hard to stop after just one." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Meanwhile at the toxic dump," "Bonehead and Psycho were sniffing around like a couple of rats." "Hey." "Look at that." "What do you suppose it is?" "PSYCHO:" "I don't know, but it's sure got a lot of buttons and dials on it." "Let's take it to Dr. Killemoff." "It might help score us a few points." "Hm, I wonder what it does." "Let's try it and find out." "No!" "Wait!" "Don't!" "Boss, are you OK?" "A few aches and pains, but at my age, what can you expect?" "Now sit, and I'll bring you a nice cup of tea." "Or maybe you'd like to have some fruit, too." "What's going on here?" "I don't know, but I think it's got something to do with this gizmo." "Why are you two amoeba brains just standing around?" "We've got an invasion to plan." "Now move it!" "Whatever you say, Toxie's mom." "Are you two blind?" "I'm Dr. Killemoff." "And don't you forget it." "Whatever you say, Dr. Killemoff." "Now, now." "Remember your blood pressure." "Here." "This nice cup of hot tea will relax you." "Thank, you, Toxie's mom." "At least someone around here hasn't lost their mind." "I don't know what this thing does, but we gotta get rid of it before it does it to you and me." "Here goes." "BONEHEAD:" "Goodbye to bad rubbish." "Will you two imbeciles hurry and finish painting this office?" "After the Smogulan invasion, there'll be lots of picture taking." "You're right, Toxie's mom-- I mean, Dr. Killemoff." "I mean-- I don't know what I mean!" "Oy!" "Paint fumes." "They make me nauseous." "If anyone wants me, I'll be at home watching Oprah." "You said Killemoff was going to lose his mind." "Yeah." "Why doesn't anyone ever listen?" "Hi." "Look what I brought you." "Flowers?" "I don't have time for flowers!" "Can't you see I'm planning an invasion-- uh, celebration of the upcoming bicentennial?" "Now beat it!" "My tromatons." "They're doing the fandango." "That can only mean one thing." "My own, dear, sweet mom is a bad guy." "[music playing]" "MAN (VOICEOVER):" "And now these messages." "[music playing]" "We now return to the Toxic Crusaders." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "When Bender found his brain switcher missing, he accused poor Fender of stealing it." "Thief." "Crook." "Shoplifter." "I can't turn our back on you for a minute." "Chill, doc." "Yours truly didn't cop your precious brain switcher." "Well, then who did?" "Beats the heck out of me." "Thanks." "I'd love to." "Wacka wacka wacka!" "Fellas and Yvonne, I've got an important announcement to make." "Would you like a fanfare for this?" "That won't be necessary, Major Disaster." "So what's the hot news, Toxie?" "My mom is turning to a villain." "Oh?" "Get out of town." "Oh!" "You've got to be mistaken." "Your mom could never be evil." "As much as I hate to say it, she's a regular pussycat." "It's true, fellas and Yvonne." "My tromatons never lie." "Hi, boys." "Oy, what a day." "Don't ask." "Killemoff!" "Where?" "There." "There!" "That's the second time today someone told me I look like that crook." "Personally, I don't see the resemblance." "I brought you boys some nice cheese danish to take to the hideously deformed creature convention." "Have a nice trip!" "Fellas and Yvonne, something really weird is going on." "My tromatons never event witched in the presence of the evilest guy on this entire show." "I just figured it out." "Someone must have stolen my brain switcher and used it to switch the brains of Toxie's mom and Dr. Killemoff." "We've got to find that gadget and unswitch them pronto!" "[music playing]" "Private Maple, attention!" "Begin brain switcher search." "Search results-- negative." "Ouch!" "Fender, you idiot." "That was my thumb." "Oh, yeah?" "So how come it's my thumb that's hurting?" "Sorry, ma'am." "This won't take but a second." "[squawking]" "Those feathers-- they're-- they're-- they're tickling-- they're tickling my no-- no-- nose." "Ah-- ah-- ah-- ah-- [sneezing]" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "As for me, I went to check on Dr. Mom to see if she was OK." "Come in, sonny." "I was just doing the dishes." "I'll be happy to help you with them." "Believe me, it's not necessary." "With these extra set of hands, I can wash and dry." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "It was kind of weird having Mom's brain here in Tromaville while her body was back in Island City." "Oh!" "Czar Zolster." "Welcome!" "Who in blazes are you?" "Why, I'm Dr. Killemoff, of course, your mighty beetleship." "Very clever, Killemoff." "Disguising yourself so you can mingle freely at the upcoming invasion." "Except for those glasses, you're really quite attractive." "I'm so happy you approve, your czar-hood." "Killemoff, let the Tromaville invasion begin!" "MAYOR GRODY:" "Let the Tromaville bicentennial celebration begin!" "[cheers]" "In honor of the occasion, the lovely Yvonne has written a special song in honor of Tromaville's 200th birthday, which she will now perform." "[groans]" "WOMAN:" "I feel amigraine coming on." "MAN:" "Get the car." "(SINGING) In 1791 when our fair city began, they wanted to call it Tokyo, but there was already one in Japan." "So they called it Tromaville!" "Ah!" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "There was no keeping Mom away from the fair." "She could never resist a 200 year celebration." "I'm deeply honored by your presence." "I" " I hope you're enjoying yourself." "How could I enjoy myself knowing you've raised the rent a poor old lady who's living on social security, plus some meager bingo winnings?" "Well, I" " I certainly wouldn't want to upset you." "Uh, tell your mom she can liverent-free for the entire year." "Good news, Mom." "Mayor Grody says you can liverent-free for the entire year." "I know that!" "I may be getting old, but my hearing is just fine." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Back at the toxic dump, the guys had just about given up on their search for the brain switcher." "I'm afraid it's no use." "We'll never find that thing." "All right." "Then let's head for the celebration for some serious partying." "What about Junkyard?" "We'd better let him sleep." "Poor guy's exhausted from all of that digging." "Toxic Crusaders, forward march!" "Hup, hup, hup, hup." "Well, dog my cats." "It's Bender's brain switcher!" "I just hope I'm not too late." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Aspart of the celebration, the Lloyd family were reenacting the first Tromaville" "Thanksgiving 200 years ago." "All right, darling." "You can bring out the turkey you so lovingly cooked." "Me, cook?" "Forget it." "I'm still queasy from that awful ocean voyage." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "Suddenly, the play was interrupted by a sneak attack of a squadron of apocalypse copters." "And worst of all, my own beloved mom was in charge of the whole operation." "Was I ever embarrassed." "Meanwhile, Bone headand Psycho were scaring everybody out of the park." "The only good part was that we didn't have to watch the end of the Thanksgiving play." "What gives, Tox-man?" "Why don't we fight back?" "Yeah, ain't it clean up time?" "I just can't." "I know that's really Killemoff, but it's also my mom." "I've got the baby pictures to prove it." "Well, troops, it looks like it's" ""Taps" for the Toxic Crusaders." "[music playing]" "That won't be necessary, Major." "I found the brain switcher." "Totally triumphant." "For once I agree with you." "[groan]" "What are you doing leading my radiation rangers?" "Oh, never mind that!" "What are you doing with my purse?" "And my brand new hat!" "[yelling]" "And now for those long awaited words." "It's clean up time!" "[music playing]" "[groan] [laughter] [cheers]" "This isn't the end yet, Toxic Crusaders!" "We know!" "The show's still got about two and a half minutes left." "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "No-Zone was right." "Because settling over the park was a humongous" "Smogulan hot air balloon, and it was spewing out noxious fumes." "Operation Toxic Fumes is really working." "[laughter]" "Don't worry, fellas." "I got an idea." "[music playing]" "OK." "That should do it." "Now let's take care of that hot air balloon." "Bone voyage!" "[laughter]" "Killemoff, you will pay for this!" "OK, Mop." "Do your thing." "[beeping] [sneezing]" "TOXIE (VOICEOVER):" "The tent full of balloons landed on target-- right on top of Killemoff's headquarters." "[coughing]" "CZAR ZOSTA:" "Killemoff, you blundering idiot!" "I'll strangle you with my four bare hands." "If I ever find you." "You-- you-- you!" "[inaudible]!" "[music playing]"