"present" "FIMFARUM THIRD TIME LUCKY" "Based on fairytales by Jan Werich" "HOW THE OGRES DIED OUT IN THE mountains" "Our newsreel crew is going to follow an unusual natural phenomenon hiding in the solemn woods of the Mountains." "They've just completed the final preparations." "And we can see them setting off for the woods to reach understanding of another miracle of nature." "The most sophisticated technology is carefully stacked in the car and the crew can leave the grounds of the studios." "Off to the mountains then!" "The well coordinated team will work under the guidance an experienced documentarist." "And Janek leans on the knowledge gleaned from the legends of the Mountain Ogres. the fierce nature of the Lesser Goose he believes he can reveal the truth again and record it on celluloid." "The legend of the Ogres has existed for centuries in the narratives of the frugal Mountain people." "No wonder the team heads for the Mountains." "In the hope they can find someone who may remember someone who may remember something about the Ogres." "We wish our team of intrepid filmmakers all the best." "There!" "THE ANTLER" "we are looking for ogres!" "let's recap what did an ogre look like." "At first sight - a man. his size rather over the top." "And this excessiveness is what made them inhuman." "Because what makes a man human?" "Exactly that he's not too big and not too small either. while high on the mountains" "at sunset the ogres stood tall on the highest ridges. they noticed their shadows growing longer." "the further the shadows reached. let's play 'Who's Bigger'!" "And how do you play it?" "Hollered the other ogres." "said the first ogre." "The one whose shadow falls further on the land is bigger than the one whose shadow falls short." "Since then the ogres could be seen in the Mountains playing 'Who's Bigger'." "it's hard to tell today which of those ogres to play false." "He put two fine big flat rocks under his feet." "Sure enough it was his shadow that won. they had no clue about physics." "An intellectual though lived in the valley." "He explained the trick to a cattle shepherd." "The silly boy told five different ogres there were various surprises:" "'cause they all started to cheat." "Once an ogre cast his shadow far beyond Dresden." "that he's the biggest." "Scientists will hardly find out today who hit who first." "The brawl following that punch was truly magnificent. and slaps flying between hilltops and in that darkness it seemed the mountains were crumbling. yet many were left dead under the avalanches and ruin of the ogres' war." "And all of that was caused by ogres. they strove to be even more colossal." "That's why playing 'Who's Bigger' should be once and for all banned." "legends don't always reflect the truth." "But thanks to our truly professional journalists never have and never will." "yeah?" "Where do you say they saw him?" "Gentlemen?" "Let's go!" "THE HAT WITH THE little JAY FEATHER" "The King had three sons." "One day he summoned two of them." "he didn't take seriously. although - as will be revealed in this fairytale - in the end they gain their due respect." "I forgot my beloved hat in a little pub in a Faraway Land." "It had a jolly jay feather on it." "I hadn't time to go back for it. and what was beyond the desert that was beyond the sea. and the knowledge just brings me sorrow. maybe I'd become curious again." "I feel sad without that hat." "I feel sad without the jolly jay feather." "I'll exchange my crown for the hat with the jay feather." "He who brings me my hat shall wear my crown and be king!" "From that moment things started to happen fast." "got himself a twentyfour-cylinder Bugaseratti Monopost racer." "He set out for the hat" "like a shot." "himself built a combination caterpillar wheeled bulldozer-digger." "He went slowly but surely and made terrible racket." "Time went by and not a word from Speedy or Strongman." "JUNKYARD" "Jack would sneak off to the station to carry luggage for the passengers and finally he had saved up 1 5 hundred crowns." "Just at that time news came back from both his brothers." "And it was not exactly good." "Speedy on his Bugaseratti swooshed past and was gone." "But then came the bad roads." "ridges and mud." "Speedy didn't slow down." "and his piston-rod." "CHEAP CARS" " JALOPIES" "Strongman on his bull-digger went on slowly but surely. he moved through obstacles easily." "Till he got to the marshes." "Strongman forgot his bull-digger special was too heavy." "and glug glug... took his 1 5 hundred and bought a moped." "He was ready to go get his dad's hat." "The old King didn't want to let him go. and let him go. but he rode well." "scooted on and on to get his dad the hat of his youth. but the air-cooled moped took him all the way to the little pub called "The Forgotten Youth"." "the forgotten hat with the jay feather. as he then was." "that's right." "what on earth shall I call my pub?" "Why not: "The Returned Youth"?" "suggested Jack." "isn't it?" "Why didn't I think of it myself?" "such a nice hat..." "Yippee!" "You have a new king yippee! and I'll be off. now and then turning his head to look at a nice lady." "From time to time Jack got a postcard:" "I'll be back. then the four-cylinder four-stroke Sunray motorcycle." "It goes without saying he won every race." "gold." "round track and on oval." "he switched over to cars." "He became the undisputed world champion of all races and classes. but time always caught up with him." "He was getting old." "Then one day he entered the hill race Ecce Homo." "It's a steep road full of curves." "And he was in the lead from the start." "What is the world like?" "What are people like?" "I've been going at dizzying speed for so many years that the world has become a blur." "haven't I flown through my life fast!" "And he walked away." "Went home." "On foot." "Right after the greeting he asked for his father. until one afternoon he had a nap and never woke up." "We sent you a telegram but they couldn't deliver it." "But your father left something for you." "It's in your bedroom." "all of a sudden! rhythm and honour in its simplicity." "Yippee!" "Jack walked as far as the pub "The Returned Youth"." "He ordered a pilsener." "The beer was filled and served by a pretty girl." "He had another." "It was filled and served by a beautiful girl." "He had a third." "It was filled and served by a goddess." "but the young girl talked him out of it." "brought her home and they had three sons." "They ordered the court milliner to make them three hats with a jolly jay feather on each of them." "Yippee!" "REASON AND LUCK" "let me pass." "You are in my way!" "back off!" "Why don't you step aside." "I'm in a hurry." "Back off!" "Can't you see you are in my way?" "You move back!" "You are obstructing me!" "I need to cross and you are blocking me." "I'll cross first." "Why don't you back off." "People need me more than they need you." "your lordship!" "I could work till I drop!" "anyway?" "You tell me first!" "or else I'll shove you and the water will take you." "and you?" "They call me Luck." "And so Mr. Reason and master Luck stood in the middle of the bridge until finally Reason conceded." "He backed off and stood on the bank." "says the hairy one." "And next time do not boast that people crave you more than me!" "but everybody will tell you that you cannnot live well without Reason." "I said." "Without Luck!" "Without Reason!" "They would have argued till the night if a herd of muddy pigs didn't pass them." "quite a handsome boy except he was wearing rags filthy as his pigs." "wise man." "try to do something with this boy." "what good is reason to him when he tends swine." "All right." "I will enter his head and you will see!" "When you meet a sticky end you'll come begging!" "Cheerio!" "And so it happened that Reason entered the pig-herder's head and Luck went on his way." "DREAMS - lNSTlNCTS" "deviations - lQ" "SEX" " KNOWLEDGES" "REASON" "intelligence" "PASSWORD" "The boy chased his pigs home and went to have a wash." "What's all that about?" "Getting yourself ready for a wedding?" "I'm through with pigs." "I want to be a gardener." "This is getting me nowhere." "Father wasn't a bad man but such talk went against his grain." "tried to talk his son out of it he will learn his trade in the Royal gardens." "Then Father gets really mad and shouts." "off with him wherever he likes!" "And that's exactly what the boy did." "He set off in the morning and in the evening he met the Royal Gardener." "The boy came in handy." "A storm the night before had battered the flowerbeds and work was plentiful. he was suspiciously good to be an apprentice. it went so far as the boy giving the master Gardener advice." "The old Gardener gave Lew his certificate handed over everything and started to write his memoirs. but very few finish them..." "And the old Gardener was no exception." "He was stung to death by wasps half way through." "But that's another story. were they not swarming around the new head stuck on the gate among the other heads on the King's orders." "People didn't pay much attention to the heads." "It was well known the King had declared he will become her husband and King." "he will lose his head." "Nobody has succeeded so far." "It looked like the King would have a huge collection of noble heads." "As a distraction the King ordered a funeral for the Gardener and a nation-wide campaign against wasps. that many at the ceremony envied the deceased" "and almost wished to be in his place." "The King was carried away." "The King had the creator of the floral decoration summoned. appointed him to several commissions for the state parks and reserves" "and finally asked him if he had any special wish would gladly grant it." "to try healing your daughter the beautiful princess Zasu." "If you fail I'll lose my Gardener and you your head." "your Majesty." "but I warned you!" "The King's coterie was not well pleased. always nod approval but secretly think something else." "They arrange everything to suit themselves. then the Chief Bailiff and then other public and secret agents." "Those two-faced fellows agreed that when the boy comes they will listen at the keyhole." "Before going to the Princess Lew sought the advice of Reason." "He realised he had to put on clean and simple clothes." "even faster and wiser." "I must not talk to her." "A woman who doesn't wilt but blossoms she knows why she doesn't talk." "And Lew went to see the Princess." "He found the Princess in the pink room embroidering." "The young man stepped up to the mirror and said:" "I came to seek your advice." "It happened this way:" "When I went to learn my trade I met a wood-carver and a tailor who were going the same way." "Once we settled down for the night in the woods." "The woodcarver cut out a beautiful maid from a block of limewood." "The tailor made her a stunning dress." "And I then taught her to speak." "And then we had a terrible argument over the maid." "as he'd created her." "as he'd dressed her. as I'd taught her to speak." "who is right?" "the Princess." "mirror." "Stop talking to the mirror and come and talk to me!" "And they talked." "Firstly about why Zasu was silent for so long. why don't you? say it whom should I have talked to?" "nothing ever changes." "he's no good." "The interior Minister..." "She looked around and in a quiet shy voice said:" "Come next door and I will make everything clear to you. noticed the Princess had a hole on her left stocking." "The Princess and the young man entered the bedroom and locked the door." "he had to sit by the keyhole for a long while." "His eye got all swollen up before the bedroom lock clicked." "The Princess walked out with rosy cheeks and her hair somewhat tousled and Lew behind her." "He couldn't keep his eyes off her." "They held hands and looked into each other's laughing eyes and they kept looking." "But the minister also kept looking and noticed that the hole blinking from the left calf a while ago was now on the right calf of the Princess." "Why did the girl change her stockings?" "He puzzled his head." "Like all interior ministers he thought about nothing but politics and forgot that life goes on no matter what." "won't you?" "And tell Daddy I said hello." "Explain everything." "I'll feed it to him bit by bit he's not 20 anymore. they won't hear a peep from me." "By the way..." "What's your name?" "Lew." "that's like from an opera." "that has got a royal ring to it." "Zasu!" "The Minister of lnterior just got away marched out to find the King." "PAUSE" "Louis gave the King an account of the treatment. he only boasted that he had been chatting with Zasu." "The King immediately wanted to run to her." "no way." "The Princess won't talk to anyone." "Only to me." "together?" "after our wedding." "When I am king. he glared... should I have fed it to him in smaller doses?" "you filthy gardener!" "The King in anger abandons polite language." "you bare-assed dirty beggar!" "You and my only Zasu?" "You the king? I'll call a judge." "you condemned yourself!" "You plotter!" "You traitor!" "You spy!" "Minister!" "Minister!" "Bailiffs!" "Guards!" "Authorities!" "Here!" "Here!" "the Minister:" "He's a ventriloquist!" "The Princess is dumb as a doorknob and he speaks for her" "I've got evidence!" "Minister!" "Whoever makes the Princess speak will become her husband and the king." "Did you publicly declare that or not?" "That's got nothing to do with it!" "but..." "There you go!" "So you have to keep your word! struggled for air." "The Minister of interior seized the moment. you told your King he had to." "forfeits his life!" "Whoever breaks his promise kills hope in people!" "He who kills hope kills life." "A promise made must be kept!" "All of a sudden there were bailiffs who took Louis and dragged him away to prison." "TORTURE 6 - 12 EXECUTIONS WHILE U WAIT" "TORTURE IN PROGRESS!" "CONFESSION" "Whatever they were doing to poor Louis that night is hard to tell." "All we know is that in the small hours he agreed to everything they wanted and signed whatever they put under his pen." "A long list of foiled plots led by the scheming Gardener." "He even trained the wasps to sting whoever he pointed out." "He admitted it himself." "evening NEWS" " minister:" "louis IS CONMAN" "NEWSWEEK LEW: "l trained the wasps. awaited Louis full of desire." "and no sign of Louis." "First of all she got mad." "Ladies tend to do that when their lover is late." "that's the normal way of a woman's lot. and from fear." "Mainly fear for Lew." "today for execution the gardener who wanted to be king." "Lew. a voice:" "Mr. Reason!" "Congratulations!" "But what next? he doesn't suffer from injured pride. as it is going to get busy. because he reasonably expected it would be the place where he'd be needed most." "Zasu stopped crying and started thinking." "that stands to reason." "Something must be done!" "And she went to the King." "He stood over a big globe spinning it this way and that. when he was bothered by conscience and contemplated exile." "spit it out!" "The King told her everything." "How they showed him the signed confessions... in brief... gobbledegook!" "The Executioner raised his axe for a mighty blow but Luck had time to see it and crack - the axe flew up to the sky." "whizzing as it spun and came back down." "By some coincidence the Minister didn't get a chance to escape and we can say for sure that he didn't suffer." "He didn't even get a moment to notice he got cut in half." "took a giant sword and the sword broke off... and Lew." "In the chaos the hairy youth comes from nowhere both of them get on the executioner's cart." "And then the chase begins. the plot in the palace took an unexpected turn. promotion of Louis to the rank of nobleman so that the marriage conforms to the constitution. he can come in handy." "And they keep going towards the King's palace." "...transfer of powers to Louis and a little seal there... then I will speak from the balcony!" "you get it?" "People will hear me themselves and they will hear that Louis cured me." "And you didn't keep your word." "What will you do then?" "I won't detain you by relating how the priest came in handy for the wedding." "You must have guessed he was there for the happy-end." "It goes without saying the young put the kingdom in order." "What lesson can we learn?" "That Reason and Luck meet very rarely indeed." "properly signposted." "Luck prefers to wander the countryside." "be it a cowpat. they are inseparable companions."