"Romolo Pizanbanchi, lawyer for the Roman Forum." "I've always supported Rome, that's why I'm not married..." "Because they say wives are dear and kind..." "But at some point they bust your balls!" "Isn't that right?" "My wife knows..." "When Inter are playing we eat out..." "After, she goes out with her friends to the cinema..." "And I come here to the stadium." "Why, do you live far?" "Yes." "I can walk home from here." "I live on Porta Romana, 132, but the subway is very fast!" "Come on, Rome!" "Come on, Wolves!" "Excuse me!" "Heavens no!" "Look..." "Come on, Inter!" "It's a sport." "Tassinelli." "This is it." "Silver." "What's this stick?" "I'll have that." "Silver." "I'll have that." "Cutlery." "Nice!" "What's in here?" "What have we got?" "This is the jackpot!" "Linen." "What's in here?" "I'll have that." "What's this?" "Who's that?" "Oh, God!" "Come on." "Don't just stand there." "I really want to make love!" "And you?" "You don't?" "Yes, you do!" "We'll talk later." "It's just the two of us now, like always!" "It's going to be great this time as well." "I can see it in your eyes." "Come on." "Damn it, I have to support them two as well." "It's so cold." "Oh, God!" "She's dead!" "I'm out of here." "Who are you?" "Why are you running?" "Lady." "Ms. Helen?" "Help!" "Get him." "He's a murderer." "He killed Ms. Helen." "He killed her!" "Let go of me!" "Let go of me." "What have I done?" "Screw you!" "He's a murderer." "Angela." "I know your Grandma's deaf..." "But if I knew she had the shakes I wouldn't have come up here to get her." "Nico, I promised her she would deliver my first child..." "And I keep my promises." "It's my child as well..." "And I'm worried..." "She can't even hold a rosary." "Don't worry..." "She's the best midwife around, she delivered everyone in our house." "What if she drops him on the floor, like your cousin, the one you call omelette!" "Get a move on!" "My wife's pregnant, okay?" "It's not a funeral!" "It'll be your damned funeral soon." "Look at him." "A dog!" "Jesus Christ." "You almost killed it." "You gave me such a fright." "Gave you a fright?" "I thought your water broke!" "What are you talking about?" "Nico, let's stop." "I'm hungry." "I want some rocket salad." "Touch your ass." "What?" "You don't want the kid to be born with a rocket on his head!" "Have you found some rocket salad?" "I found some shit." "Do you want Grandma to cut you two slices of salami?" "What's wrong with you today?" "You saw how her hands were shaking..." "If you let her cut some salami she'll end up cutting off her elbows." "Okay." "I've decided on a name." "Yes?" "And what's his name?" "Rocky." "Why Rocky?" "Because I like it..." "And I want him to be a winner from the start." "He's going to have an Italian name." "Why are you always whispering?" "What are you talking about?" "We're thinking of a name." "Then call him John Paul, like the Pope!" "Listen to her!" "I can't call him Rocky because he has to be named after a Pole!" "We're going to call him Rocky!" "I like Lucia." "You can't call him that." "It might be a girl." "Don't try it..." "Don't try it..." "Don't try and have a girl, because we're all males in my family..." "Even the women!" "What are we going to do?" "The same old argument about the oven and the baker?" "The train can't leave if there's no locomotive." "But the locomotive won't budge if there's no piston." "You just keep your legs closed for a month!" "God damn it!" "What is it?" "They won't even leave me alone on my holidays." "Who won't?" "My colleagues..." "I recognise the sound of that engine..." "That dumbass Gargiulo is going to say "Inspector Giraldi", any second now." "Inspector Giraldi." "There you go, what did I say?" "Hi, Nico." "What do you want?" "In short..." "Look at the pair of you." "It's serious." "We need your help." "Why did you bring the dog?" "Mind your own business." "We need to talk." "Captain." "Good morning." "Brigadier." "Where has you husband gone?" "Where do you think my husband's gone?" "The party poopers have arrived." "Trieste?" "I'm not going there!" "Trieste?" "What are you talking about?" "Nico's work colleagues are here, the ones who gave us this camper..." "And they're here to ruin our holiday." "If your stomach hurts, you should lie down." "Stomach?" "What are you talking about?" "I can't eat like this!" "You came all the way here so I could tell you to fuck off?" "You know my wife's deaf, and my grandma's pregnant!" "The other way round." "Anyway, I'm on holiday!" "I was saying..." "Wait, there's something you don't know." "As soon as I finish my holiday, at the end of the month..." "I'm quitting the fucking force and I'm going to be a private investigator." "Okay, but that's not why I'm here..." "Venticello hasn't been arrested for robbery but for murder!" "Yeah, sure." "That's why they need you in Milan..." "You're the only person Venticello will talk to." "He's accused of strangling a woman." "Quit bullshitting me..." "I know Venticello well." "Once, his mother told him to kill a chicken..." "He couldn't do it!" "That's the situation..." "You'll come with me now, then you're flying to Milan." "You're going to Milan?" "It's not me, it's them..." "Venticello is in trouble." "Why do you care about Venticello?" "Sure I care!" "He's a son of a bitch, but he's still a friend." "You know how it is in our line of work." "What work?" "Screw you and the horse you rode in on!" "He's a police captain!" "Not just any asshole." "I don't get it?" "When do we leave?" "In an hour." "Do I have time to go home?" "Yes, yes." "Can you drive a camper?" "Can you take my wife to Rome?" "Look, this is a special camper..." "Sometimes it stops." "When it stops..." "Hit the dash three times, kick the gear stick..." "Tell it to fuck off, and you're away!" "Have a seat." "Who are you?" "What do you want?" "Officer Giraldi, reporting for duty." "Sit down." "Thanks." "There's a lot of traffic in Milan." "What are you doing?" "Putting your feet on the table?" "Have you gone mad?" "Americans do it all the time." "But we're in Italy!" "Get them off." "You'll dirty the table." "Don't get upset." "I'll clean it." "But it was dirty before." "I don't need to tell you that from the moment you left the airport..." "You passed under my direct authority." "So don't get any funny ideas..." "Because I'm in charge of this investigation..." "I ask the questions, and I draw the conclusions!" "Then what the fuck am I doing here in Milan?" "I was warned about your vivacious language..." "But you're going to have to tone it down in front of me, understood?" "You asked me to come here..." "Because you found out..." "That guy you have locked up, Venticello, Albertarelli..." "Was born in my neighbourhood." "So..." "In my neighbourhood, we talk like we eat..." "However, if you need someone more elegant, dressed like you..." "With a tie, etc, etc..." "Then find someone else, who has the good sense..." "To get those rich sons of bitches who steal all the money from the poor..." "And have made it so that Venticello and me..." "Couldn't go to school and learn to speak in a refined manner like you." "Don't be high and mighty with me." "I'm not being high and mighty..." "But I don't even want to be an asshole, either." "Excellency." "What, Excellency?" "Majesty." "What Majesty?" "Then your Eminence, Saint?" "What shall I call you?" "Fucking Emperor?" "That's enough!" "You're testing my patience!" "Go to San Vittore, speak to the prisoner..." "And come back here and report to me, here, in my office." "Is that clear?" "Clear, clear." "Very clear." "Any clearer and I'd die." "But there's one thing I want to get straight..." "I'm serious, you know..." "Those three people I killed, I killed them because I made a promise." "And when Bartolo Monzese makes a promise, he keeps it." "Who said anything about that?" "I just can't wait to get out of here." "You're not getting out here, we're in for life..." "So you'd better get your act together because I'm the best you'll find." "What do you mean?" "Don't play dumb with me!" "Stick with me and you'll live like a queen!" "What queen?" "There's a lot better than me in here!" "They're all useless!" "I saw you in the shower..." "Your chubby cheeks!" "Smooth, no hair..." "It's like I was struck by lightning!" "Bartolo, I come from a good family..." "I don't like where this is going!" "What's got into you, kid..." "I saw you talking to Calabrese." "Calabrese?" "I don't even know him." "Listen up!" "Me or no one..." "Either we party together or I'll tear your head off." "Bartolo..." "Write to my mother, if she approves we'll do something." "That's what I like." "Give me her address." "But nothing until she replies." "Okay, just a goodnight kiss!" "They're calling me." "Excuse me." "Goodbye, beautiful." "Didn't you hear any names?" "No, I only heard her voice." "Didn't you see their faces?" "I was under the bed." "I saw his foot when he put on his shoe." "Was he wearing a ring?" "People don't wear rings on their toes!" "Don't be an idiot." "Please!" "You use your hands to tie up your shoes." "I didn't understand." "Can't you get me a temporary release?" "What temporary release..." "You're screwed." "Even if you weren't charged with her murder you'd still be in for robbery." "I didn't steal anything, you have to believe me." "Then what the fuck were you doing there with the keys?" "Spring cleaning?" "Venticello, you have to give me something..." "Because if you don't, what can I do?" "I haven't got time to lose." "Now I think about it..." "He had a big scar on his foot, on the right ankle." "You call that a clue?" "You want me to examine everyone's feet in Milan to see if they have a scar?" "You have to get me out of here..." "They put me in a cell with some guy called Bartolo Monzese..." "He's all over me." "I can't sleep at night..." "My back's always against the wall." "What can I do?" "You didn't see anything..." "You don't know anything, you didn't hear anything." "Well?" "You're gonna have to take it up the ass." "You say your house keys were stolen from you at the stadium." "That's right." "What would your wife usually do when you went to the match?" "She went out, with her friends..." "They'd go to the cinema." "Helen..." "Why?" "My Helen..." "Why?" "Come on, chin up!" "Were you married long?" "Yes." "Was everything regular?" "In what sense?" "You screwed every day?" "I'll ask the questions, Inspector." "But if you don't ask him, then I have to." "Blow, blow." "When you're quite finished?" "I'm helping him clear his nose." "Have some sympathy." "You haven't got a heart, you've got a frozen meatball." "I'm not dirtying anything, I used a mat." "Can you tell me how, and when, you met your wife?" "She was a nurse in St. Phillips' Hospital..." "I was there recovering from a skiing accident..." "And that's how we met." "Is there anyone at the hospital who knew the victim well?" "Let me ask the questions." "Then ask him if there was anyone at the hospital who knew the victim?" "Was there someone at the hospital who knew the victim well?" "Everyone knew her, but in particular..." "Helen worked a lot with the head nurse." "Wait." "Let me get my pen." "What was the name?" "Enrico Vitucci." "Listen..." "Look..." "I'm not listening and I'm not looking, okay?" "You're too much." "No, what I mean is..." "Think you know more than me?" "Relax!" "I have an allergy." "For god's sake, shut up!" "You should thank god I have to be polite to you..." "Otherwise I'd tell you you're being an asshole!" "Look..." "You know why I didn't graduate?" "Because my mother ran off with your father, okay?" "Enrico Vitucci." "What now?" "I bust my balls." "What did you say?" "I said I'm busting my balls, because instead of going on holiday..." "I'm here being an asshole, for another asshole!" "Pardon?" "You're pardoned." "Here." "Police." "I'm investigating the murder of a nurse who worked with you..." "Helen Tassinelli." "Helen Montesi." "Married name, Tassinelli." "I heard she was killed." "She was a fine woman." "I told her not to get married." "To stay here in the hospital." "The patients loved her." "The patients and the male nurses!" "What can I tell you about her?" "She was precise with her work, she was a fascinating woman..." "Sometimes she paid for our coffee, and on Sundays we went to the cinema." "Speaking of Sundays..." "Last Sunday, in the afternoon, between three and four..." "Where were you?" "Why do you want to know?" "Because you told me you went to the cinema together on Sundays..." "She paid for coffee, ice-cream, and..." "Who knows?" "Perhaps she went out with someone else and gave you the cold shoulder." "I'll give you cold shoulder!" "Just answer my question." "Listen, last Sunday, I was here on duty..." "From twelve till midnight in the maternity ward." "Maternity!" "I need to speak to my wife!" "Where's the phone?" "Over there." "Don't light up, you can't smoke here!" "What do I have to do?" "Just press the green button." "The green button..." "But I have to call Rome?" "Normally, you can't, but there's a trick..." "Press the red button with the other hand." "This one?" "Okay, I did it." "Now dial the number." "How?" "With my dick?" "I'll make a nice bowl of soup, that's good for you and the baby." "Forget it." "Let me help you." "Hello?" "Hi Angela, it's Nico." "Finally!" "When are you coming back?" "How do I know?" "I'm really busy..." "Helping my friend." "You're busy!" "Have you forgotten I'm eight months pregnant?" "If you don't come back, I'll have a girl... two of them!" "A girl?" "Just you try!" "I want a boy with a two metre dick!" "Yeah, okay." "Give it up..." "I can't talk to anyone." "I have to behave myself..." "Make sure you behave yourself!" "Jealous?" "Sure I am, I know what you're like." "You drive me crazy." "I think about you every night..." "I can't stop whacking off." "Don't say these things over the phone!" "Here." "What happened?" "Has your water broken?" "Angela!" "No, don't worry Nico..." "It was Grandma." "I'm drenched..." "She split soup all over me." "And this baby never stops kicking." "Kicking?" "Rocky?" "He's not kicking, he's jogging!" "Speak to Grandma." "Why?" "She's deaf as a post." "Just shout, don't worry." "She likes it..." "Wait." "Bye, Nico." "I'll pass you Grandma." "Hello." "Hello!" "Grandma, it's Nico." "It's Nico!" "The line cut off." "I can't hear anything." "Do you want another cup of soup?" "Let's go in the kitchen." "What a mess!" "Why did you want to see my feet?" "Let's just say your feet saved you." "Why?" "Because I had my suspicions." "You've got it wrong, I loved her like a sister." "You can't leave me like this!" "That's enough!" "Can't you see I'm talking to the policeman?" "Hi, Ambrogi." "Hi." "Listen..." "Come here." "Don't look at him, but that guy over there..." "That's Robert Ambrogi, he plays attack for Varese hockey club..." "He had a thing for Helen." "He was crazy about her!" "Yes, yes..." "You can't leave my arm like this." "It's all finished." "Yeah, finished!" "Hi, Robert." "I'm officer Giraldi, I'm investigating the Tassinelli murder." "You can investigate all you want, you can ask all you want..." "But I know who killed her!" "Well, then..." "Name and address." "I'll never tell the police." "Because they want proof, and I don't have any." "But I know who did it, and I swear I'll kill him with my own hands!" "Listen, you shouldn't get your hands dirty..." "Let me do that, it's my job." "Give me a name and address." "Just leave me alone..." "I have a game at four, and I have to go." "I'm not telling you lot, but he's going to pay!" "Goodbye." "Right, who wouldn't kill them with their own hands?" "How could anyone kill someone as nice Helen?" "He's professor Baldi, he also knew Helen very well." "The officer is investigating her murder." "Nico, from Rome." "It's a pleasure." "Yes, Helen was my assistant for a long time..." "And I must say I found her kind, pleasant, generous, serene..." "An exceptional woman!" "But what I don't understand about her..." "Why does everyone say she was kind, generous, chaste..." "But she wasn't practising yoga last weekend..." "She was screwing like a son of a bitch!" "Come on, Officer, the police make mistakes as well..." "But you act like priests!" "Sure we act like priests, there are so many assholes around." "Everyone knows the killer is the burglar they found hidden in her apartment..." "Then he told the cops there was a lover, etc, etc." "Sure, he's right!" "I agree with him." "Well you're wrong, that guy is my friend..." "He's not a murderer, he's a good guy." "You mean he's a good burglar?" "Isn't a burglar a person?" "I swear on it." "Anyway, look..." "Whoever shits in the snow, even if they cover it up..." "But when the snow melts, the shit still comes out." "It's been good talking to you." "I'm going, goodbye." "Goodbye, officer." "What are you doing?" "Piece of shit!" "You're the piece of shit, if you don't give me a name!" "Damned cop!" "I'm not telling you anything." "Ambrogi." "Go to hell!" "Are you going to tell me or not?" "Why won't you tell me that son of a bitch's name?" "What was going on between you and Helen?" "Between me and Helen?" "Nothing..." "Unfortunately, she liked someone else." "The guy who killed her, right?" "Go away." "The game's over, you killed Helen, didn't you?" "No!" "Come on, confess!" "It wasn't me." "Then who was it?" "Helen..." "Where are you going?" "You're not allowed here." "Police." "Who are you?" "I'm the stage manager." "If this is about stripper..." "I don't know anything about it." "I explained to the Inspector..." "I swear I didn't take anything!" "I don't care about that..." "I want to know if there's a woman here who was seeing Robert Ambrogi..." "A player for Varese hockey club." "Sure, Antonella." "Her?" "No, Antonella's through there." "Shall I come with you?" "No, I'll go alone." "Entreé." "Not in three, I'm alone." "Who are you?" "Officer Giraldi, police." "What do you want?" "To be honest, I want a lot of things..." "But, above all, I'd like to talk about Robert Ambrogi." "Poor Robert!" "I heard what happened to him." "I was very sad to hear it..." "I went out with him a few times." "And sometimes, a tete-a-tete." "You showed him your tits?" "Yes." "I like tete-a-tetes as well." "Now that I think about, I need to renew my immigration card." "I'd give you one, day and night..." "For dinner, lunch." "You're beautiful." "Officer, you're very excited." "I haven't had any action for two months." "Understand?" "Yes." "Will you have a little tete-a-tete with me?" "Then come on..." "Touch my tits." "Closer." "Stick em' there." "So this is what you're up to!" "Thighs, tits, and ass!" "This is why you wanted to be transferred to Milan!" "What are you talking about?" "I'm working!" "You're working?" "With this half-naked slut!" "Mind your language!" "I'm an artist." "An artist?" "Yes!" "A cock artist!" "Don't be so rude!" "You're embarrassing me in front of this lady!" "Embarrassing you?" "You're embarrassing me, asshole!" "Let's go." "Out of my way!" "My respects, lady." "What are you playing at?" "I was working!" "You dirty rotten cheat!" "Why are you so upset?" "I didn't sleep with her!" "What is all this noise?" "They're paying customers!" "Customers?" "They're perverts!" "Hey, this is a respectable joint!" "Pipe down!" "Mind your own business and leave my wife out of this." "Let's go." "Move it." "The show's about to start." "Let go of me!" "What's got into you?" "What's got into me?" "I'm your wife!" "You can't cheat on me." "Dirty, filthy, pig." "You missed one." "Cruel!" "That's all of them." "Yeah, all of them!" "You came all the way from Rome like that?" "Driving the camper doesn't hurt me..." "But your behaviour does!" "I didn't cheat on you!" "That woman is connected to a suspect who was killed this morning." "Yes?" "And the funeral was being held between her legs!" "Funeral?" "I was investigating, I was questioning her!" "You were screwing her!" "I didn't screw anyone!" "You don't tell your wife to fuck off." "It's the wife who tells her husband to fuck off." "Stop causing a scene!" "And where am I going to park this thing?" "Listen, give me a little present and you can park it in my courtyard." "Did you say courtyard?" "You've given me an idea." "Here, for some cigarettes." "But they're matches!" "You're good." "Thanks." "I can even guess your name." "Really?" "What is it?" "You're Fiorella Colombo." "It's true!" "How do you know?" "You saw that thief running out of the Tassinelli's apartment." "Yes, that's right." "I'm a police officer..." "I'm officer Giraldi." "Did you happen to see Helen Tassinelli coming in with someone?" "No, the front door was closed." "There was no one there." "Did you notice..." "Wait!" "But..." "You asshole!" "You and your damned roller-skates!" "Out of the way!" "Sorry, lady." "You again!" "On roller-skates!" "On the pavement!" "Knocking women over!" "What are you playing at?" "I was chasing the killer..." "It's not my fault that bitch got in the way." "How dare you?" "That lady is my wife!" "Not her." "The other dumbass." "That's my sister!" "Is it my fault you hang around with all the idiots in Milan?" "Asshole." "You bastard." "Are you okay?" "No, it was a fair tackle, damn him!" "You're not allowed on the pitch." "You're disqualified from the team!" "Disqualify yourself!" "Remember, if you hurt my guy I'll hit you so hard you won't know what time it is!" "Don't play with those animals, you're a kind soul." "No..." "Yes, yes!" "I'm all house and church!" "And I want to remain chaste and pure and never marry!" "What do you mean, never marry?" "Unless I meet the man of my dreams." "But you've found him!" "You know what, we'll get a transfer to Blue Port penitentiary..." "And we'll have a nice matrimonial cell!" "Really?" "A matrimonial cell?" "For us?" "Then, after 25 years, when we've paid the mortgage, the cell is ours?" "Yes." "Oh God!" "What a dream!" "I need to get you out of here." "The killer's watching my every move..." "He killed Ambrogi just as he was about to tell me his name." "We need bait, to give him the chance to strike again..." "If we ring the bell, we'll get him." "And that bait can only be you." "Just spread the word that you were under the bed, that you saw him..." "And you could recognise him." "You want me to be the bait?" "No, no." "I'd rather stay in prison..." "And start a family with Bartolo Monzese." "He's a good kid, and a good worker." "Venticello, you're going to do as I say, okay?" "My wife is about to give birth, understood?" "Go to your cell and eat a piece of soap." "Your mother replied." "She approves of our wedding!" "Yes?" "Yes!" "Read it." ""Dear Bartolo Monzese..."" ""I received your letter today..."" ""And I was deathly moved." Deathly?" "Very!" "Ah! "Very moved"." ""As I hope you are, and my son, Franco."" ""Whom I love dearly." "I read your request..."" ""And I am happy he wants to settle down to family life."" ""So I give you my blessing, and hope you have many children."" ""Affectionately yours, your mother-in-law Gravelia Marcheti."" ""Widow to Morriconi, Proietti and Bartonelli"" "You see!" "Sure I did..." "She wants children." "Then we'll adopt!" "We'll talk to Father Morialdo..." "The priest who killed his followers with poisoned wafers." "And then we'll get married!" "He's here as well." "He's here as well?" "That's great!" "We'll get married." "And tonight..." "My God." "It hurts!" "I feel pregnant already!" "Officer Giraldi, what are you doing?" "You can't park here." "What can I do?" "Want a drink?" "No thanks." "Just a drop." "No, I'm on duty." "Right, you can't." "Nico." "What did he say?" "He does have a point..." "We can't park here." "We can't camp in the courtyard." "Officer, what can we do?" "We didn't know you can't park in the city." "Lady!" "All this laundry!" "This is a police station." "Then where do I hang it?" "Excuse me, officer..." "Whenever you get a difficult case you call my husband." "I don't get it?" "You don't even give him any travel allowance." "Who do you think he is?" "Superman?" "Angela!" "Nico!" "Don't shout." "See if it needs some chilli?" "Sorry, let me clean it." "That's quite enough!" "You've gone too far!" "Relax..." "As soon as the killer finds out Bertanelli is at the hospital..." "And he can identify him..." "Go to hell!" "I'm trying to solve this case!" "Yes!" "I can see that!" "You and your great ideas." "Who'll end up dead this time?" "Like Ambrogi?" "It was his fault, he wouldn't tell me!" "No, no." "Check your facts..." "Ambrogi worked for Busoni, the loan shark..." "The owner of that nightclub." "Yes!" "Who employed him as a debt collector." "Then that fat guy is Cravataro?" "Yes." "Help!" "Nico, help!" "Did your water break?" "No..." "There's a dog in here and it ate all the luncheon meat!" "Don't worry, lady." "He's harmless." "He might be harmless, but I'm ignorant!" "He's German." "Take him away." "You don't feel sick?" "No, I'm okay, thanks." "Shall I drain the pasta?" "Drain it, I'm coming." "Drain the pasta!" "Where are we?" "We're in Italy, Inspector!" "Remember what you said when I put my feet on your desk?" "You said we're in Italy." "Enough!" "Are you sure your friend, your dear friend Bertanelli..." "Can get find a way to get transferred to the hospital?" "How the fuck do I know?" "I hope so for his sake!" "Help!" "Help!" "Guards!" "Over here!" "What's going on?" "Help him." "He had an attack." "He's foaming at the mouth." "Listen, beautiful, I'm cutting your wages." "Why?" "You didn't take your bra off!" "They're still not big enough, it takes time!" "When you get a nice pair of tits I'll pay you properly..." "And show more emotion, you're like a dead fish!" "Try to be sexier!" "Let's show them what a real women is." "You're right." "You know what you're talking about." "Who let you in?" "What are you doing here?" "I've got a magic ticket." "Police!" "Can I have a word?" "Sure." "Shall we go up?" "Come, come." "We have to be quiet, the act's on." "Shall we sit here?" "Yes." "Take off your shoe." "What?" "The right one." "Shoe?" "Yes, and the sock." "Show me." "You didn't kill her." "Kill who?" "Pretty Helen." "But I bet you had your goons kill a lot of people." "Me?" "I haven't attacked anyone!" "Anyway, what's wrong with someone trying to make a buck?" "You're really pissing me off." "What?" "What are you going to do?" "Take your clothes off." "Me?" "Yes." "Isn't this a strip club?" "Sure, for gentlemen." "Then take your clothes off." "Yes." "Just the jacket?" "Everything, or I'll shoot." ""And now, the splendid curves of Damiana Sinclair!"" "Move it." "Sexier." "You're like a dead fish." "Move your ass." "For a coffee." "Thanks!" "But this is sugar?" "I'm diabetic!" "Evening." "What are you doing there?" "Is this your car?" "Why?" "Is something wrong with it?" "Yes, when cars are used to shoot people, yes." "I don't know what you're talking about..." "I have to go home." "If you don't mind?" "Give me the keys." "I need to see if you have a rifle in the trunk." "Do you have a search warrant?" "No." "Then you're not looking anywhere!" "Then you're under arrest." "Do you have an arrest warrant?" "Can do I anything without it?" "No." "I get it." "You're one of those people who needs a warrant." "Then listen up, fuck you!" "Dr. Esposti, please." "Use the service entrance." "Gentlemen, my husband is running half an hour late..." "I don't want to keep you waiting, I'll tell them to serve lunch." "What's your name?" "Bianca." "Surname?" "Candido." "Are you working illegally?" "No, I'm legal." "So legal you couldn't be any more legal?" "Bianca." "Yes, madam." "My husband's going to be late, serve lunch." "Lady." "But..." "I know you?" "Sure you know me..." "I'm Officer Giraldi, remember when you fell over in Via Corso?" "Yes, I remember." "I brought you this plant..." "To say sorry." "For you." "Divine!" "I've been married thirty years and my husband hasn't even given me a daisy!" "Not even a chrysanthemum?" "Officer!" "You're so wild..." "You're so funny!" "Come, come." "I'll introduce you to my friends." "Bianca, hide it." "I stole it from their garden!" "Guests, Officer Giraldi." "Good evening." "Who is this Giraldi fellow?" "He works for my brother..." "He's investigating the Porta Romana murder." "Have a drink." "Officer..." "Do you like this music?" "What is it called?" "Schubert's unfinished symphony." "Why unfinished?" "Because he never finished it." "We're saved!" "Everything's ready." "Good." "Lunch is served." "The lunch." "Come." "I'm sitting here?" "It's like a mortuary here." "Is this how you enjoy yourselves?" "Now I'll show you how I enjoy myself." "A toast to liven things up." "Grab your glasses." "Down it in one!" "And if you don't, you're a son of a bitch!" "This is how you do it!" "What is it, lady?" "I prepared a fish dinner!" "Do you like it?" "How did you do it?" "Seafood shells!" "What's that?" "Marinated clams." "Do you like them?" "Clams?" "Do I like clams?" "Big ones, like this?" "What star sign are you?" "Pisces crossed with lobster!" "How long do we have to wait?" "Look at those clams!" "I'm so hungry." "No, wait." "There." "Look at that!" "They're really fresh!" "Nice." "How vulgar!" "When my brother arrives he's going to have a heart attack!" "Welcome, your honour." "Thank you." "Dinner has already started, but it was too important..." "The problem regarding the freedom of information..." "I think..." "Luckily, it's all resolved now." "This way, your honour." "Thank you." "They're quite lively." "I can hear that!" "A bit too much!" "Your honour, I don't know what to say." "Officer Giraldi." "Yes, sir." "What are you doing here?" "Well, in my own way, I'm trying to..." "To entertain your guests." "They were so fucking bored." "How dare you!" "Well I let him, darling." "Be quiet, Esmeralda." "What are you doing here?" "I came here to..." "I know who the murderer is." "I need your help." "I need your signature..." "For the arrest warrant." "I'm not signing a damned thing." "Not only that, I'm dismissing you..." "And I'm kicking you out of my house." "And Milan!" "Leave." "Look..." "You can dismiss me if you like..." "But this is about a friend of mine, and if you don't sign that warrant..." "You'll regret it!" "Full house!" "Damn it." "You could've taken it earlier." "When I have to take, I take." "When I have to fold, I fold." "God damn it!" "4, two 6's and a 7." "What's this?" "Another seven." "Another full house." "You're so damned lucky." "I had three 4's." "Damn it." "That's better." "What's this?" "A five." "And this?" "Another five." "No, that doesn't count..." "I'm a champion." "A champion, understand?" "I won." "That doesn't count." "You might be a champion and all that..." "But when I have to take, I take." "When I have to fold, I fold." "Just total the scores." "We'll see." "You're good at this." "Shuffle them." "I'm just a humble player, not a champion like you." "When I have to fold, I fold." "When I have to take, I take." "Cut the deck." "Deal the cards." "I'm going to take a leak." "Make it a good one." "Let me see if I can beat him at least once!" "Four, three sevens, and two nines." "What's this?" "Ace!" "And this?" "I win again!" "I'm not playing any more." "Sorry, you might be a great champion..." "But when I have to fold, I fold." "When I have to take, I take." "Don't let it get you down." "Shuffle the cards." "Rome's the other way." "Didn't you see the sign?" "I have to go to Porta Romana." "Why?" "Because I have to squeeze Tassinelli, I didn't get the arrest warrant." "Yes?" "Okay." "Where's Grandma?" "She's resting in the back." "I need to see their feet." "Grandma's?" "No, Tassinelli." "Always other people's feet." "You never think about my feet!" "I think about them." "but I have to work!" "And I need to see Venticello." "Sure..." "First that guy's feet, then Venticello..." "When are we going to leave?" "What can I do?" "I have to take him back to prison, I can't leave him in hospital." "...that full house makes it five." "Damn it!" "You've taken half my wages." "I've never lost so much!" "You want to gamble you watch, your pen..." "I'm not playing any more." "I want to give you a chance." "You're cheating." "I get it!" "You think I'd take advantage of an 'ingaggio' like you?" "What's an 'ingaggio'?" "A polite way of saying asshole." "Polite way?" "It's a good thing you weren't rude or I'd slug you!" "I have to go." "I have to set up a drip." "What do you have to do?" "It's nothing..." "But I'll give you a drip." "In the ass!" "Go fuck yourself." "You, and the hospital!" "Vitucci." "Doctor." "I have to change a drip." "Yes, okay, but tell me..." "Who is that patient you were just talking to?" "He's the guy they caught in Helen's apartment..." "She was murdered two weeks ago." "Yes, I remember..." "But why is he here?" "What's wrong with him?" "Between you and me..." "He's fine." "It must be a police thing." "He says he can recognise the killer because he was under the bed when it happened..." "He saw something on his foot, a scar, maybe." "I understand, a scar." "Okay, okay..." "I'll see you later." "I'll be in radiology." "And now will you tell me why you wanted to see my foot?" "Gypsies read palms, I read feet." "That car with the Swiss license plates..." "Could Dr. Baldi have used it?" "Yes, of course." "We have a small business based in Lugano..." "And that car you saw last night is one of our company cars." "You think I killed her." "How can you think that I could've killed my wife?" "Bluebeard said the same thing, look what he did!" "I'm not Bluebeard." "And my wife was..." "A bit of a slut." "Hurry up, I'm in a hurry." "Before we were married she had an innocent affair..." "A fling, as we say here in Milan, with Doctor Baldi." "But that was a long time ago, and we're friends now." "I married Helen and Baldi married Professor DeStefanis' daughter." "We often joked about this fling she had with him." "What did you say?" "A fling." "You know what they call it where I come from?" "Bullshit." "I don't know if you get it, or not?" "But all the ingredients are here..." "There's you, the industrialist..." "Who married the pretty nurse." "There's the daughter of the top doctor, with a load of money..." "Who gave herself to the ambitious doctor, looking to make a name for himself." "But the wife of the industrialist." "That means you..." "Still had the hots for the doctor." "What are you talking about?" "I know what I'm talking about." "Why the hurry?" "I need to see Venticello." "He won't die if you're ten minutes late." "Who says so?" "What the hell's going on?" "Is it an earthquake?" "Hello?" "It's Professor Baldi." "Yes, it's urgent." "Number 75, on the first floor..." "Bring him to the operating theatre." "Yes, I'll be operating." "Immediately." "Why are you driving like a lunatic?" "My friend is in danger!" "Why do you need to see the ranger?" "Why did you say it's your fault?" "He's already killed two people and he won't think twice about doing it again." "Look out!" ""Help!" "Mickey Mouse farts at Pluto."" "Show me your bottom." "It's time for a nice little injection!" "What?" "Your injection, doctor's orders." "Injection?" "You got the wrong room!" "Don't make me call the orderly." "Go away." "Turn around." "I'm not moving because..." "Then I'll make you!" "Get your hands off me!" "Screw you!" "Nothing, nothing..." "A little injection, that will make you sleep..." "Like a little angel!" "Why do I have to sleep like an angel?" "You'll have a nice little nap..." "And when you wake up you won't even remember the operation." "Operation?" "Yes!" "Professor Baldi said so." "He's operating personally!" "Stenoscopy." "Steno..." "What?" "But don't worry." "Professor Baldi is very good." "If he's so good let him operate on himself!" "Where are you taking me?" "What are you going to do?" "I don't need an operation." "I want my Mummy!" "Mummy!" "What are you going to do to me?" "Why is Mickey Mouse farting at Pluto?" "Mummy!" "Why are you taking my clothes off?" "Where are you putting me?" "What are you doing?" "Who are you?" "Mummy!" "Why are you tying me up?" "Is Bartolo around?" "Where's the butter?" "You're tying me up!" "My arm as well?" "Why are you tying me up?" "Mummy!" "What have I done to hurt you?" "You abandoned me like that." "Was I so bad?" "Mummy!" "What are you doing to me?" "What have I done?" "Count to ten." "Is it a game?" "1... 2... 3... 4..." "Mummy!" "We're here." "Sure we're here." "Sure." "You don't get it, my water broke!" "You sure?" "I really think so!" "Calm down." "Relax." "Nico, help me." "Please!" "I'm coming." "Relax." "My legs." "I can't stand up." "Help us." "My wife's about to give birth!" "What's going on?" "Open the door and get Grandma!" "I'll take care of her." "What is all this noise?" "This is a very special operation, it's a stenoscopy." "Where's Bertonelli?" "In the operating theatre." "Who's the surgeon?" "Professor Baldi." "The operating theatre?" "Second floor." "Scalpel." "What's going on?" "You're insane!" "And you're a murderer." "What are you talking about?" "You see criminals everywhere!" "You're making a big mistake." "Come with me and I'll explain everything." "Don't operate." "There's nothing wrong with him." "Thief!" "Thief!" "What the hell is he doing?" "He's always like this." "He's an asshole!" "He enjoys it!" "Why are you driving like this?" "This isn't good for your wife." "And I'm on duty." "Don't drive too far away!" "Shut up!" "Dr." "Baldi, what are you doing here?" "I told you to shut up!" "What are you doing?" "Get off me." "What are you up to?" "Grandma will look after you." "John Paul's coming!" "No, Henry's coming!" "Like I said." "John Paul Henry?" "Are you expecting triplets?" "Help." "Help me!" "We need to stabilise her." "What?" "Shout, she's deaf." "We need to stop the pain." "What do you want?" "Why are you talking about horses now?" "I need to time the gaps." "Tell me when the next one starts." "What?" "Tell me when the next one starts." "What?" "You need to tell me when." "Go to hell, that's what I'll tell you!" "Water." "I need water." "Get me some water." "Grandma, I need water." "You can't do anything right!" "You can't even pour water." "There." "Drink." "Drink." "Towels!" "Motorcycles ride themselves nowadays!" "What are you doing there?" "What is he doing there?" "For Christ's sake Dr. Baldi!" "This woman's about to give birth." "Vitucci, stop disturbing me." "Go to Hell!" "Wait, Lady." "Not like that..." "Breathe like this!" "Look." "What are you trying to do?" "Give birth to a puppy?" "Get out." "It's the end of the line." "Have you stopped fooling around?" "Have you stopped fooling around?" "You were Tassinelli's lover, right?" "Then why the fuck did you kill her?" "She was getting too demanding." "She wanted me to leave my wife..." "And run away with her." "And?" "And she blackmailed me." "Saying she would tell everyone..." "If I didn't do as she said." "You killed her, damn you!" "It's time!" "She's about to give birth!" "Wait, I don't my son born in the middle of the road." "Come here." "You piece of shit." "You wanted Venticello to take the rap." "No, it's not true." "Please let me go!" "Hello?" "Hello?" "This is officer Giraldi." "The Porta Romana killer is handcuffed on the highway to Milan." "Ninety two kilometres down." "Over and out." "My wife's about to give birth!" "You should stop." "You can't let her give birth here." "Just take care of the midwife and leave this to me..." "My son's going to be born in Rome, you got that?" "Angela!" "Don't listen to him." "Close your legs!" "You can do it!" "Grandma." "Grandma." "It's not right." "You can't give birth here." "Get out of the way." "Leave this to me." "Angela, close your legs!" "Think of something else." "What shall I think of?" "Rome winning the league!" "We passed a village called Colle-Terra." "Who cares what it's called!" "Sure I care, Angela..." "I don't want my son to be born in Colle-Terra!" "Put something in my mouth!" "Another ten kilometres." "Nine, Angela!" "Eight." "Seven." "Six." "Five." "Four." "Three." "Two." "One!" "Officer, it's a boy!" "Around four and a half kilos!" "You said Stallone would be here." "He's busy with Rocky 3, so he sent his agent." "But we beat him to it, because we made Rocky 4!" "Tell him to stick his thumb...!" "He doesn't understand a word, he's American..." "I'm so happy you chose me to be his godfather..." "And now I want to have a toast..." "A toast with this fine wine to the new-born baby." "How can you call him Rocky John Paul Henry Bruno?" "Rocky, because of Stallone, the actor..." "And John Paul for Grandma." "The Pope!" "Long live the pope!" "Henry, to please my wife." "And Bruno?" "And Bruno because he's my kid and I'll call him what the fuck I want!" "He looks like you." "He's a spitting image." "He looks like me, too." "The top half is his mother..." "And below, his father!" "Is he going to be a cop as well?" "Don't try it..." "Don't try it...!" "Look over there." "I've changed profession..." "'Private Investigator' 'Nico Giraldi and Son'" "Right, honey?" "We're not doing this job any more." "November 2010"