"Previously on Bunheads..." " Do your parents know where you are?" " Nope." "I stayed out all night and wrecked mom's car." "I got my letter today from the Joffrey." " What did your parents say?" " I'll tell them when I get back." " You can't just up and leave." " Look, they won't even notice I'm gone." " You like Josh." " You guys have been together since, what?" "Third grade?" " Second." "Miss Marsh's class." " What's the point, Michelle?" " The point is you have classes." " I know." "And how wonderful that you're there so I can get away for a week and then you can teach them." "Lean forward." "That's it." "Straight knees." "Extend down, chin up." "Ehh." "Gracefully, gracefully, gracefully." "Yes." " I have to go to the bathroom." " Again?" "Uhh." "Okay, ladies." "We need to talk about the cold hard reality of life as a dancer." "When you're on Broadway the show doesn't stop so you can go potty." ""Les Mis" is three hours long, and sure there's an intermission, but between changing costumes and trying to figure out if Marius is straight, you're not gonna have time to pee." "You've got to hold it." "So from now on we are all going to try very hard to..." "Okay." "Note to self:" "Potty break first, "Les Mis" lecture later." "Whoever else needs to go to the bathroom, go ahead." "Go now." "Wow, what's going on here?" "In my day we all had bladders." "Please tell me this is my last class of the day." " Nope, you still have..." " Roomba!" "I just remembered." "It's "zumba." Tomorrow's a big day too." " You have jazzercise at 9:00..." " Ugh, skinny people." "You teach the Weitzman couple their wedding dance at 10:00..." " Ugh, happy people." " Then it's a sold-out swing class." " Ugh, people." " Then jazz at 3:00, pas de deux at 4:15," " and hip-hop line dancing at 5:30." " What's hip-hop line dancing?" "Two classes were underbooked, so I combined them." "This is not working!" "I can't teach my classes and Fanny's classes and maintain my sexy." " Thank God she's back tomorrow!" " Oh..." " "Oh"?" "What "oh"?" " Fanny extended her trip." " She's not coming back until next week." " What?" "Why didn't she tell me?" " She posted it on Facebook." " That doesn't count as telling me." "Why do people think they can just share news on Facebook and automatically everyone will know?" "Because everyone's on Facebook." "I'm here." "I made it." "I'm not late!" " I thought it was Wednesday." " You are late and it is Wednesday." "Rats." "Right." "Sorry, Boo." "But to make it up: air fries." "What are air fries?" "By the way, I'm Michelle." "Nanette." "Nice to finally meet you." " Air fries are fries cooked in air." " They're not on my diet." " But they don't taste good, that means they're healthy." " They're still potatoes." "I like potatoes." "I like air." "Are you teaching my daughter to strip?" "No judgment." "I always tell her she should have something to fall back on." "I figured typing, but this could be good too." "We're adding some new classes." "Cardio-striptease will now be offered Fridays at 10:00, right between "I wish I was still in bed" and "where did I go wrong?"" " Ruby's market!" " What about Ruby's market?" "I left your brother at the produce section at Ruby's market!" " Again?" " Get your stuff, we gotta go." "Wow, these are gross." "I should probably look into that." "Bunheads 1x07" " What's Your Damage Heather?" "Original air date July 30, 2012" " So no Sasha today." " I know, missing class... scandal." " You hear from her?" " Not since the movie-truck night." " I texted her twice." "No response." " So weird." "Hey, Boo?" "Any word from Sasha?" "I left messages." "Maybe she finally got in trouble." " Sasha never gets in trouble." " She did stay out all night and wreck her mom's car." " And her mom loves that car." " The car was in the Christmas-card picture." " The father was not." " Every parent has their limit, I guess." "Maybe she's totally grounded for like months." "What if they sent her away?" "What if she's in military school?" "I don't think she's in military school." "I'd like to go to military school." " No, you don't." " I do." "I think it would be really... oh wait." "I'm thinking of camp, sorry." "I have to go." "Text me if you hear anything." " What are you doing tonight?" " Josh and I have our anniversary." "Oh, that's right." "Eight years... insane." "I know." "Josh is coming over and I have this great night planned." " It's not that murder-mystery dinner thing, is it?" " No." "Because frankly, I would've dumped your ass over that one." "There's a food-truck fair going on in Goleta and there's a stage and bands are playing." " Wow, that actually sounds fun." " I know." " I mean, it's so not the two of you..." " Stop." "Seriously, what did you do for your fifth anniversary?" " We saw "Hotel For Dogs."" " Yeah, I would've dumped your ass for that one too." "Well, this is going to be really great." "I'm excited." "Sasha?" "Maybe." " Hey there, old man." " That nickname's begging for an assdumping too, F.Y.I." "Yeah, I'm just getting ready to leave now." "I'll rush home, shower and should be ready to go..." "Oh, but couldn't it..." "Well, I kind of had things all..." "No." "That's nice too." "I know." "Okay." "See you then." " Oops." " What?" "He's at my house putting together an entertainment cabinet that my mom just bought." "And it's really complicated and she really wants it ready by tomorrow, because she's hosting this brokers' luncheon and she wants the living room to look complete, which it hasn't since my dad left and took the old cabinet with him." "What does this have to do with your anniversary?" " He won't be done in time to drive to Goleta." " You're kidding." "So my mom said she'll take us out for our anniversary tonight instead." "She made reservations at that new sushi place." " Oh." "Well, you like sushi." " Uh-huh, except for the fish." " Right." " But the cucumber rolls... awesome." "So awesome." "Maybe you guys can food truck it next weekend?" " Doesn't matter." "It's fine." " And bright side, now you have some extra money, right?" "For booze and broads?" "Absolutely." "Gotta go." "Hey, eight years, right on!" "I remember this song being much shorter." "Seriously, did it loop back around?" "That's why I wanted to dance to "Moves like Jagger."" " That song really gets to the point!" " Next time, Sam." "I don't think there's gonna be a next time for you." "Is that it?" "Is class over?" "All right, I got a pulse." " That's a wrap, everyone." " Is it over?" " Oh, it's over." " Did I win?" " Sure, sweetie." " Nice class, everybody." "Come back next week when the part of me will be played by Anna Faris." " You don't look so good, Michelle." " I'm so sorry, Sam, did you say "tap-a-tap-a-tap-a"?" " I think you need some sleep." " And some sleep." " I just said that." " Has tap dancing always been so loud?" "Unless a cowboy is shooting bullets at your feet, it's the loudest dance there is." " I'll see ya later." " See ya." "Ugh." "Oh my God." "Oh no." "No no no!" "No no no no no no!" "Oh God." "Oh my God." "Oh my... m-my God." "Okay, hello, um..." "Uh uh uh..." "Oh my God." "Pick up, stop!" "Pick up." "Stop!" "Pick up!" "Hi, you've reached Fanny Flowers." "Leave a message." "Fanny, it's Michelle." "It's coming from the ceiling." "There's water coming from the ceiling and it's flooding the dressing room and I don't know how to stop it or how long it's been going on." "Oh God, I wish you were there to tell me what to do." "Uh, let's see, if you were there, you'd probably say something like," ""well, Michelle, maybe if you didn't sleep until 11:00"" "and stumble into class like a hobo, you could've" ""checked on the dressing room before it floated away."" "And I'd say "it's not drifting off to sea, Fanny." "It's just very very wet."" ""That's fine." "We'll just rename the studio"" ""The Atlantis Dance Academy." "I'll order a sign."" "That's very funny, Fanny." "Why don't you post that on Facebook?" ""Michelle, isn't the water rising as you play out this little bit?"" "Yes, it is, Fanny." "I should probably go." ""Then go!" I will!" "Oh my God." "Okay." " Sparkles." " There's a flood!" "A pipe must have burst or we hit an iceberg." "The carpet is squishy and nothing I'm doing is helping." "Paper towels are useless!" "Useless!" "This is Sparkles." "We do dresses." "Truly, it's me, Michelle." "I'm at the dance studio and it's literally raining in the girls' dressing room." "Help me!" "Well, I know there's no way you can reach Fanny right now." " How do you know this?" " Her Twitter feed says she's unavailable the rest of the afternoon." " Since when is Fanny on Twitter?" " Since @ojaifloyd805 convinced her to join." "You remember, he did your floors?" " So you're on Twitter now too?" " Yeah, I follow Fanny and Floyd." " Have you called a plumber?" " No." " Then call a plumber." " Right!" "Yes!" "A plumber!" " I'll call a plumber!" " Let me know what happens." "I'm part of this now." " What..." " This is fun." "Fun?" "You know you're putting holes in the wall, right?" " Oh yeah." "You wanna poke one?" " Tempting, thank you, but don't we need these walls?" "I mean, walls are important." "Buildings are made out of them." "You already punched that one hole." " That was like that when I got here." " So what's a few more?" "'Cause I'm just trying to figure out where your plumbing is." "And that takes holes." "Ah!" "I think I got the lay of the land here." "I gotta get something out of my truck." "Hey look." "I got a plumber." "He's the one who punched all these holes." "Every last one of them." " Davis." " Truly." " Him?" " Who?" " The one-eyed plumber?" "That's who you hire?" " He's got one eye?" " He's wearing an eye patch." " I thought that was for fashion." " Oh God." " His card was in Fanny's file." "It didn't list how many eyes he had." " That man cannot be around tools." " He was so nice on the phone" " and he quoted me a low price." " That's because you're only paying for one eye!" " Truly..." " No one in town hires Davis for plumbing." "They hire him to pick up people's mail when they're out of town and to keep an eye on things." "That's our little joke because he only has one eye to look at our things with." " Whoa." " Flood city." " Like from the Bible." " What happened?" "It's under control, girls." "There's been a leak, I've hired a plumber." " Half a plumber." " You hired Davis?" " No one hires Davis." " Not for plumbing anyway." "We use him to keep an eye on things." "Look, I'm gonna need you guys to change" " in the boys' room for the foreseeable future." " Ew." " No way." " Have you ever been in the boys' dressing room?" " You can literally see the air." " And the toilets?" "They hit their marks on the dance floor, but that's where it ends." "Fine." "Change at my place." " My house is your house." " Cool." "But you should know that right now your house is pretty dirty." "Don't judge yourself though." "You've been very busy teaching Fanny's classes all week and stuff piles up." " It's got to be better than the boys' dressing room." " Anything is." "Look, it'll be fine." "I'll take care of Davis." " He just needs a lot of supervision." " Okay." "Thanks." "I've got to get downstairs." "I've got my pop-locking street-voguing hippety-hoppity Macarena jump class in five minutes." " Are we going in?" " I feel weird." " She told us to, Boo." " Okay." "But we need to be respectful of this place." "After all... hey!" "This is it?" "36 years old and this is all she has to show for it?" "Cool bed." "Oops." " She's got back issues." " Get off of there." "She's got nothing in here but ginger ale and moisturizer." "Ginny, come look at this." "Wow." "She was a blonde." "Oh, that does not work for her at all." "This is an invasion of privacy." "There are laws against this." "Wow, she has toured everywhere." "She was in "Oklahoma"" " in Oklahoma." " Huh, big feet." " Her boobs, however..." " What's wrong with you people?" "How would you like it if somebody came to your house and called your feet big and your boobs small?" "Boy, she's sure got a lot of junk on here." "Who's Rod Stewart?" "You break into a house and you don't think to invite me?" " Sasha!" " Finally!" "Huh, a bathtub in the middle of the room..." " how very mid-century shtetl." " We thought you were in military school." " No, we didn't." "We just thought you got busted." " For what?" " For what?" " For the car thing?" "The sneaking out thing, the just generally being you thing." "Nope, not busted." "In fact they took me to a spa" " and..." " What?" " Next shopping spree is on me." " No way." "They gave you a credit card for being a jerk?" "It's actually supposed to be for emergencies, but these days what isn't an emergency?" "What with global warming and the world coming to an end and all, everything's fairly dire." "So what are we doing here?" "There's a leak in the dressing room so Michelle told us" " to get ready for class here." " And we're going through her stuff." "We are not going through her stuff!" "Okay, let's go through her stuff." "Ooh, what's this?" " Look at all this jewelry." " Oh my goodness." "Huh, a filthy doll." "Nice." "What do you think happened here?" " Ouch." " That's a story." " It got ripped." " In two." " Like in a psychotic rage." " Maybe she had a breakdown." "Yeah." "That explains how she lost everything and wound up living here." " I think this place is cool." " But if she had a psychotic break that involved a doll, then wouldn't it have been a long time ago?" " Yeah, so?" " So is she still broken?" " Maybe she's on meds." " Or maybe she's one of those functioning crazy people that's normal in the day and then talks to dolls at night." "That would make her much more interesting, that's for sure." "Huh." "One word: ouch." "Now remember, it's a long reach out on the ponte, as if the foot and the hand are connected." "One goes down, the other goes up." "Right?" "Okay and hit!" "From the top." "Hey!" " I may only have one eye, but I've got two ears." " Then quit the banging." "Hey!" "Sorry, hold on." "Why are you making such a mess?" " Oy!" " Too loud?" " Too loud." " Sorry." "I told you it was too loud, you freaking missing link!" "Sorry about that." "Again, from the top." "Nice." "Excellent!" "Really great." "You!" "Girl with the big ears, at first glance, you don't look like you have a speck of grace in you, but you do." "Seriously." "Gazelles!" "All of you... gazelles!" " What are you doing?" " Did you see the... this is not the Belasco!" "You are not here to watch "Guys And Dolls"!" " I know that." " Get back in the room." "I can't stand "Guys And Dolls."" "Run." "Save yourselves." " Boo, did you see her watching?" " So weird." " How's it going up here, kids?" " Great." " Not so." " I'm done." " Your career is." " Well, everything's done." "I changed out a bunch of rusty pipes, replaced the shut-off valve." " It's all good." " We'll see." "I stand by the work." "It's a family business." " The Gambino family." " Hey!" "We've been in business 50 years and running." "I saw the picture of your grandfather on the truck... nice looking man." " That's my grandmother." " Oh, sorry." "Women looked different back then." "You can get the drywallers in here anytime." "Thank you, Davis." "Thank you very much." " So it is with a sense of satisfaction that I can say..." " Mildew." " What?" " The carpets." "They need to be dried or they'll mildew." " It's dryish." " Not dry enough." "You need fans." " Fans?" " Or else the mildew will come." "And once mildew comes, it never leaves." " All right." " I'd help, but I have to get back to work." "It's okay." "Thanks, Truly." " This is a sad sight." " It's the mildew." "I have to stop the mildew!" "We just came up here to make sure you were okay." "I'm as okay as I look." " Do you need help?" " I'm already helping." "She's using my blow-dryer." " I'm fine." " We can't leave you here like this." "What if you electrocute yourself?" "They wouldn't find your body for hours." "Not true." "I got my jazzy g-sliding boogie woogie barn dancing hula class in five minutes." "Those kids'll find me." " Let's help." " No, you shouldn't, I couldn't." "Please get in here." "Melanie!" "Pig!" "Where are you?" " Is that Charlie?" " Yeah." "He's here to pick me up." " What, jerk?" "!" " Don't leave me waiting." "My time is valuable." "Bite me." "There's a flood up here and I'm helping." "I changed my whole schedule to come pick you up." "I had things to do." "The box of tissues in your bedroom will still be there when you get back." " Go away!" " You look gross from this angle." " You look gross from every angle." " Only two more days left of this and I'm free of catering to you." "Adios." " You have mental problems." " So in two days he won't have to be your chauffeur anymore?" "Oh no, he will." "I found a joint in his room." "And once I show it to my parents, he's going to be driving Miss Daisy for a long time." " I'm Miss Daisy." " Got it." " How long have we been doing this?" " Three hours." "Last semester we read "No Exit."" "I didn't get it, but I do now." "How do we know when we're done?" "When the carpet's dry and nothing smells like mildew." " What does mildew smell like?" " It smells like it sounds." "Yuck." "How is it that half of this room smells like raspberries and the other half smells like a gas station?" "I think it's always been like that." " So we've achieved status quo?" " Which means we're done?" "Ladies, they say go with your gut." "And my gut tells me we are done." "And that it's hungry." "Are you guys hungry?" " Uh-huh." " Well, I am taking my four heroines out for anything and everything they want." "How does the oyster bar sound?" " Inevitable." " It's the only place open." " I'm starving." " I'm kind of hungry too." " I do like their onion rings." " Get onion rings, get burgers, hell, it's lobster night." "Stuff yourselves with lobster." " Do not get the lobster." " Got it." "Okay, everybody, blow-dryers off, let's get going." " They are off." " So that noise is just in my head now?" " Afraid so." " Great." " Boo, have a fried triangle." " No, thanks." " Fried rectangle?" " No thanks." " Octagon?" " No." " Solar system?" " I am happy with my salad, thank you." "No one is happy with a salad." "The lettuce just punched itself in the face." " Ugh, I'm already stuffed." " 'Cause you weigh two pounds." "This coming from Refrigerator Perry down there." " Everything all right here, ladies?" " Yes siree Bob." " Great." "Boo, table four needs some water." " Okay." "Boo, wait!" "She moves fast, that one." "I really want to thank you guys for helping me out tonight." "And to prove it, we will order more chicken wings." "Just don't tell madame Fanny we ate this." " Yeah, that would not be good." " Fanny has some dietary rules, huh?" " She has rules for everything." " Household products, sustainable fish, extracurricular activities." "Swimming, piano lessons, reading... all fine." "Horseback riding, ice skating," " roller blading, skiing..." " All out?" " Along with high heels." " They shorten your tendons." " Heavy purses..." " They throw your shoulders off." " And tight jeans." " They just look trashy." " No eating after sundown, avoid direct sunlight." " Are you gremlins?" " Okay, what did I miss?" " We're talking about Fanny's rules." "You tell her about walking on sand?" "Oh yeah, I forgot." "No walking on sand." "And no going in the ocean..." "it's just a giant fish toilet." "Mmm, this salad is really good." " Boo, you know you're not on the clock, right?" " I know." "You did not have to refill those water glasses." " I know, but he's my boss." " Yes, when you are working." "But when you are not working, he's just another boy" " who went to the prom with his cousin, okay?" " Okay." " Boo, table three still hasn't gotten their dessert." " I'm on it." "Hey!" "Ugh, okay fine." "Any other rules I need to know about?" "You can't be late for class." "Literally not a second." " And there's the boob rule." " I'm sorry, what?" "Well, if you have a certain cup size... then you have to double-bra, and if that doesn't help, tape." " What?" " Tape 'em down." " No." " Madame Fanny hates bounce." " I bounce." " Well, believe me, a little bounce is good." " Not for ballet." " Yeah, but for other things." " Like sex?" " Well... guys will like you better if you're big." " I don't know about that." " I do." "My brother has a wall of boobs in his room." "A whole wall covered with pictures of boobs." "The faces, not important, they're covered up by boobs." " Not all guys are obsessed with boobs." " Some like butts." " More like boobs." " All I know is unless I find one who gets hot for a really defined clavicle, I'm dying alone." " I'm back." " Table three get dessert?" " Yep." " Cake?" " Pie." " Whipped cream?" " Of course." " Coffee refill?" " Yes." " Regular and decaf?" " The old guy has trouble sleeping." " Boo." " I'm not on the clock?" " You're not on the clock!" "Fine." "Mm, boy, this is a really good salad." " I put some French fries in it." " You put French fries in my salad?" " I put two packs of sugar in your water too." " Hey there." "Wow., that is a lot of fried food." "Does Fanny know?" "No, and you'd better not tell her." "Then you're going to have to figure out a way to convince me." "Twist my arm." "Oh, I'm sorry." "This is a girl thing, isn't it?" " That's okay." " No no, I am interrupting a girl thing." "I will take my maleness over there to that table and read." "Take your time." "When you're done, I'll drive you home." " You're nice." " That is the scuttlebutt." " Who was that?" " That's my boyfriend Josh." "They've been together since second grade." " Shut up." " It's true." "Like, ever since second grade?" "All the time?" "No breaks at all?" " Nope." " Wow." "Weird." " What's weird about it?" " Oh well, it's not weird like see-that-guy-eating-that-other-guy's- face-over-there?" "He's-so-weird weird." "It's more like no-other-guy-since- second-grade?" "That's-weird weird." "It's not weird." "We met, we clicked." "That was it." "So, like, what?" "Did you have a totally slutty first grade?" "Camped out by the boys' cubby, waiting for some action?" "No." "Josh is the only guy I have ever dated." "Well, that's great." "Really, my hat's off to you." "When I think about what I was doing when I was 16... holy moley." " What?" "What were you doing?" " I was just wild." " I dated everyone." "A new guy every night." " You're serious?" " A new guy every night." " One guy might've snuck in a second time, but he had gone punk and dyed his hair green so I didn't recognize him." " Cool." " Occasionally I dated in shifts." " Shifts?" " The early shift was 6:00 to 9:00, the late shift was 9:00 to 12:00, and once in a while, if the guy looked like Christian Slater, there was a little midnight madness." "God, those were really fun days, when everything was new." "I loved dating when I was young." "Hey, I need someone tall to get a vat of pickles off the top shelf." "Boo, you do not have to do this." "You are not working, you are sitting with friends." "Hold your ground." "Oh, you mean me?" "Sorry." " Hey!" " Whoa." " Truly and Davis!" " Oh my God." " Davis and Truly!" " Go, Davis, go." "Please don't mention this on Yelp." "I wouldn't know how." "Um, so what, was the one-armed yogurt guy unavailable?" " Don't make this worse." " Truly, there are toe shoes and little fluffy tutus in here!" "You can't make out here." " I wasn't thinking about the tutus." " You hate Davis." " Don't you hate Davis?" " I don't hate Davis." "I just hate his plumbing." "Didn't look like it from where I was standing." "Is it the patch?" "The mystery of what's underneath?" "It didn't start out as a make-out session." "He said he left something here," " I came over to let him in." " And then you started to let him in." "I'm really sorry that I got involved in all this in the first place." "And if any tutus were damaged, I will fix them!" "It's what I do!" "Sorry, birds." " Um, hi?" " You need a new air conditioner." " That and an alarm system." " See, I told you we shouldn't be here." " You said we could use your place." " True dat." "As a dressing room." "When we have class." "Wait... do we have class today, Boo?" "How long was I sleeping up there?" " No, it's Saturday." " And I fell asleep on Friday," " so I'm good here." " Did you say "true dat"?" "Cut me some slack, I had a bad night." "Why do you sleep with a jar of peanut butter by your bed?" "You'll understand when you're older." "So some privacy, girls." "Mama's gotta clean up." "Is the dressing room fixed yet?" " It'll be ready for class on Monday." " After all that drying we did." "I'm gonna get a second plumber out here." "He's gonna have two eyes." " It'll be great." " You're out of diet soda." " I am?" " Well, you are now." "Are you sure I can't bring you anything?" "God, no." "I've spent three days trying not to throw up from that freaky fried festival we had the other night." "Partially because I hate throwing up and partially because if I do throw up," "I want to do it in Charlie's car." " I'll bring you something fizzy." " Thanks." " Hey, Boo, bring fries!" " Don't bounce." "I'm nauseous." " Sorry." "Fries will make you feel better." " No!" "Oh, come on." "Hair of the dog." "You're way too perky for me to deal with today." "Okay fine." "Want to go shopping?" " Homework... dark ages." " Oh." " How long have you been on that page?" " Why?" " Cobwebs." " I can't concentrate." " Want my notes?" " Do they have hearts and smiley faces all over them?" " Afraid so." " Give 'em." " There you are." " Here I am." " What happened?" " What do you mean?" "I've been waiting for you forever!" "Literally forever!" " So dramatic." " Ginny, I've been sitting outside of school since 3:00." "I thought you were abducted." "I went by six liquor stores and forcibly viewed their surveillance videos." " I told you I was going to walk here with Melanie." " You didn't walk here with..." " You never said that." " I did too, Josh." "Listen for a change." "Ginny, you never said that you were going to walk here with Melanie." "I never said meet me outside of school." "I always meet you outside of school on Mondays." "Mondays, Thursdays and every other Friday when I don't have jazz band, I meet you outside of school." "I don't want to talk about this." "I've been meeting you outside of school on basically that same schedule for eight years." "One year it was Tuesdays instead of Mondays when I had that extra credit horticulture class, but that was a long time ago." " I never told you I'd be there!" " But you are always there!" "And how boring is that, huh?" "Monday, Thursday and every other Friday?" " I'm falling asleep just repeating it." " It's not boring," " it's what we do." " I have to go to the bathroom." "Ginny, where are you going?" "Why are you mad at me?" "I'm the one who forced the sheriff's department to file a missing persons report against their own policy!" "Ginny!" " What's going on?" " I don't know." " Are they fighting?" " I think they're fighting." " They never fight." " Maybe he forgot to set the D.V.R." "This seems bigger than a D.V.R. fight." "Ginny, if you don't come out here then..." "Oh my God, he followed her into the ladies' room?" "!" "That's illegal." "And Josh would never do something illegal." "Something's really wrong." "Can you hear what they're saying from the men's room side?" "Let's go see." "Hey there, farmer John." "Ya tending to your garden?" "Wow." "That's weird." "It smells like garlic." "I had Giovanni's for lunch." "And it's putting me in the mood for some Italian." "Is Giovanni's good?" "I'm always on the hunt for a good calzone." " I'm kind of busy here." " I know." "Look, Truly," "I just wanted to say" " I didn't mean to spook you last night." " I don't want to talk about it." "But I need to apologize." "I should've handled it more delicately." "I was dry humping a plumber in the dance studio." "There's nothing delicate about this." "And then I made it worse." "I could have..." "What?" "What you just said... that was funny." " So you came by to laugh at me?" " No." "Although there is a touch of comedy to all this, you have to admit." "I mean, last night I spent an hour before going to sleep coming up with one-eyed plumber jokes, and there are tons, but I made you feel bad and I didn't mean to." "Really." "Fine." "Do you at least want to tell me about plumber guy?" "Was last night totally spontaneous or is there a history?" " I really don't want to talk about this." " Why?" "'Cause he only has one eye?" "'Cause otherwise he's pretty cute." "I once slept with a guy who had a peg leg." "He was in the pirate show at Treasure Island." "I thought it was a prop." "It was not a prop." "I don't care about the one-eye thing." "Great." "Because it's good to get out there, grab a little something." "Truly?" "I still love Hubbell." " But he's gone." " I know." "And even before he was gone, he was taken." " I know." " So how long are you going to wait?" "Italian widows wear black the rest of their lives." "Wow." "Sounds slimming." "I feel like I'm cheating." "Is that crazy?" "Put the sharp snippy things down and I'll answer." "Yeah, I suppose enough time has passed." " Definitely." " Maybe." "Definitely." "So are we good?" "Yes." "Good." " Go ahead." " Ah, you're still raw." " It's fine." " We're having a moment." " Last chance." " Okay, so tell me." "What was it like staring longingly into Davis's eye?" "Did he close his?" "Oh, you couldn't tell 'cause yours were closed." "Was there depth perception problems?" "Like, when he went in to kiss you, did he miss?" "I'm dying to know here." "This one?" "Nope." "Okay." "This one?" "Nope." "Note to self:" "Get own key or lose mind in the process." "Is the dressing room underwater?" "Nope, it's safe." "All dry." " Hey." " Yeah?" " Uh, cute shirt." " Oh, this?" "I just threw it on." " You like it?" " I do, I do like it, especially since it's mine." " No, it's not." " Sasha, that is my shirt." " No, it's not." " That shirt was given to me by Siegfried" " the night their tiger ate Roy." " I don't know what you're talking about." " About the tiger eating Roy or about you wearing my shirt?" " Either one." " Did you take that shirt from my room?" " It's not your shirt." " It has my name in it." " How sixth grade." "Do you write your name in your glitter thongs too?" "Hey, don't gaslight me, lady." "That is my shirt." "Fine." "You want it?" "Take it." "Do I want it?" "Well yeah, I want it 'cause it's mine." "Enjoy." "Rotate from the hip." "Extend the leg." "Boo, have you stopped breathing?" "You're gonna pass out if you stop breathing." "There you go." "More fun with oxygen, right?" "Eyes front, everybody." "Boo, you're not breathing again." "What are you doing?" "You're 15 minutes late to class." "Thanks, narc." "Hey!" "Dressing room." "Now." "What's with her?" "What happened?" "I don't know." " Hey, did you break your legs?" " What?" "Are those prosthetics you had to carve yourself out of an old dining-room set?" "That's why you're late?" " No." " Then what's your damage, Heather?" " What?" " Boy, if anyone should know that reference it's you." "Stream it, download it, Wikipedia it," "Google "people who steal for no reason whatsoever." Get to know the real you." " Why are you freaking out?" " Because, Winona, you know you can't even be a minute late for class." "Fanny's rule, not mine." " Fanny's not here." " Madame Fanny to you." "And no, she's not here, but her class is, her studio is, and her rules sure as hell are." "But you know all this, don't you?" "You know that this kind of behavior will not fly." "I mean, forget whatever beef you think you have with me, but there are kids here who want to dance... friends of yours." " I don't have a beef with you." " Why are you doing this?" "Why are you forcing me into this role?" "I don't want to be this person, this authority figure." "It's not me." "And now you've got me talking about rules and your behavior, and I look stern and I think I wagged my finger." "Did I wag my finger?" "You made me wag my finger!" "I'm not a disciplinarian." "I'm not a grown-up!" "Well, I don't want to be!" "I'm not here to teach you anything... except ballet." "I am here to teach you ballet." "So you have two minutes to get that hair in a bun and get your butt back to the barre or don't bother coming back to class." "Period!" "Made me say "period." Punk ass kid." "Fifth position." "Battements, front side back, front back fifth, reverse." "Boo, breathe." "Let's go." "Thank you." "Nice work, people." "There may be hope for you yet." "Yo, zippy." " Disturbed much?" " Let's go!" " Fine." " Hey!" " Sorry." "Duck!" " I wish you had a flesh-eating disease." " I do." "It picks me up and drops me off every day." " Let's go." "First I have to get my stuff and talk to everyone I know for hours" " until you shrivel up and die." " You coming too?" " Yes, she's coming too. - 'Cause suddenly I'm wearing a chauffeur's outfit." "For what?" "!" "I'm here." "It's the right day and I'm here!" "Yay me, right?" "!" "Am I right?" "Is it the right day?" "Am I wrong?" " Crap!" " Mom." "Oh, you're here!" "I'm right!" "You are right." "I just have to change and we can go." "Well hurry, I left your brother at either the car wash or the cleaners." "Either way I won't have to bathe him tonight." "I'm on time." "Never happened before." " High five!" " Well, look who's here." " I know, on time!" " Whatever." "Where are my air fries?" "You!" "Really?" "Really?" "Why?" " Why?" "Why?" " Oh, what I'd give for a sentence." " She broke up with him!" " Who broke up with..." " Ginny broke up with Josh!" " What?" "Why?" " Because you told her to!" " I did not tell her to." "After eight years she breaks up with the perfect man!" "She doesn't understand how hard they are to come by!" "She doesn't know that most of them are scum and that when you get one who is faithful and good to you and your mother that you keep him!" " I'm sorry." "Is Ginny okay?" " No, she's not okay." " She just doesn't know it yet." " I don't know what to say." "You don't know what it's like to raise a child alone... what it's like to be a single mother, to be expected to work full-time, how to keep a house together, take out the trash." "He was wonderful." "He was around since second grade." "And he fixed things." "She was always happy and my trash was always taken out." "Didn't have to fix a window or a door and he had a ladder." "I have no ladder." "You know where my ladder is?" "It's at Faye Mendelson's house!" " Mom, stop!" " And if I didn't know from Facebook that Fanny was coming back next week I would pull her out of this school." " You broke up with Josh?" " Yep." "Oh my God!" "I know!" "I suck!" "I get it!" "It's Nanette." "Can I come in?" " Are you okay?" " I'm the harbinger of evil, but other than that..." "You can't listen to Claire." "She's unstable and her hair never moves." " I can't do this." " Can't do what, honey?" "I can't teach, run a studio, be in charge of things." " Sure you can." " The studio's a mess and it's wet and I didn't even think to call a plumber." "How stupid is that?" "Fanny's going to be so mad when she sees it." "It wasn't your fault." "She'll know that." "Grape juice?" "And like an idiot I tried to be friends with those girls." "I don't know what I was thinking." "I mean, I'm 100 and they're six and now I'm supposed to be their teacher and teach them things." "And you can't teach them things if you're their friend, I guess." " Cookie?" " And Sasha?" "Ugh, I don't know what to do with her." "I'm not a psychiatrist or anything, but I'd say there are some issues at home that need to be dealt with pronto." " Wow." " Pumpkin chocolate chip." "This is the best cookie in the entire world." " She took my shirt, you know." " No." "Really?" "Stole it and lied right to my face." " Do kids do that?" "Lie right to your face?" " Oh yes, all the time." "I couldn't believe it." "I didn't know what to do." "I'm not her mother." "I don't know what she needs." "I'm not anybody's mother." "I couldn't be a mother." "My mother sucked." "She was like a non-mother." "I called her Deb." "That wasn't even her name." "That's just what I called her." "That feels good." "I don't know how to do any of this stuff." "I haven't hung out with kids since I was a kid." "And frankly, I wasn't even that great with them then." "I don't have that kid-friendly gene." "I'm all sharp corners" " and a pool with no cover." " You know those kids love you." " They do?" " Boo talks about you all the time." " You're a big star in my house." " Really?" "Could I have another?" "Ever since the first night you came here, something happened to Boo." "She just walks a little taller." "That certainly isn't because of me." "You are having a much bigger influence on these girls than you think." "Just hang in there." "I forgot how good grape juice was." "Boo!" "Boo, I wanna talk to you." "Sorry." "I didn't know you meant me." "What other Boo is there?" "I just didn't know if you were saying, like, "Boo!"" "Like you were trying to scare someone on your phone or something." "No, I wanted to ask you a question." " Sure." " What's up with Ginny?" "I don't know." "What's up with her?" "Wasn't she, like, married to that Josh guy since kindergarten?" "It wasn't legal or anything, although he did give her his grandmother's ring." " And they've split now, right?" " Looks like it." " What an idiot." " Ginny?" "Josh. 'Cause Ginny's hot." "Yeah, hot." "Mel's probably poisoned me with her, but can you do me a favor?" " Talk me up to her." " Sure." " I could do that." " Thanks." "Yo, she-devil!" "Let's go!" " Hey." " Hi." "Where'd your mom go?" "She had to take a call." "She's in escrow on something." "Oh." "Well, uh..." "Charlie was asking about you." "What do you mean asking about me?" "He was asking about you..." " your availability." " My availability?" "Really?" "You mean, like...?" "Charlie?" "Oh my God." "I never thought of Charlie like that." "He was always just Charlie..." "stinky Charlie." "I mean, I know you thought about him like that, but I never thought about him like that, and he's all grown up now, isn't he?" "I mean, wow." " He was serious?" " Serious as a funeral." "I mean, not that I'd go out with him, but it's just nice to be thought of like that." "It's what Michelle said." "There's this whole world of boys out there, and I've been stuck with just the one." "I was married when I should've been dating around, testing the waters." "I could go out with Charlie, then out with Freddy, then out with Eddie." "I should meet more boys because I made those last two up, but they're out there." "Okay, well, that's it." "I just thought I'd pass it along." " So." " Yeah, thanks." " Yeah." " See ya." "See ya." " Feeling better?" " A lot." "Thanks, Nanette." "And thank you for your magic purse." "Anytime." "Bye, Boo."