"Ondra, let's clean up this mess, okay?" "Pick up your things so I can vacuum." "These have had it." "You've got new ones." "And what's this?" "An airplane." "It's completely broken." "You'll never play with it again, will you?" "You're a schoolboy but sometimes you act like a baby." "You're going to have to pull your socks up." "I don't think your friends still play with cuddly toys?" "And this one's falling apart." "But it's Kooky." "I know, darling." "But if I stitch him up, he'll just tear somewhere else." "I'm sorry, but Kooky's got to go." "Try not to get it everywhere." "You don't want to start wheezing again, Ondra." "You shouldn't really have any cuddly toys." "They're full of dust, which isn't good for you." "Bubbles can stay, she's washable." "But not this one." "And get him out of your face." "Good boy." "KOOKY" "The same way I'm allergic to dust and cats," "Kooky is allergic to the dark." "It makes him feel bad." "It doesn't make him wheeze, but he's much better when it's light again." "Tonight, I don't think I'll go to my mum's bed." "When our building is on its side, it's too tricky to get there." "The problem is when a kid gets lost, he tells someone where he lives and they take him home..." "Off we go!" "...but Kooky's only a teddy bear and he can't tell anyone where he lives." "Ondra, get off!" "Homeless people can't either..." "God damn it!" "...because they don't have homes." "Now count." "One...two...three... four...five...six..." "Lucky you, with your washable tag." "But Kooky's days are numbered." "Let's try praying for him." "Put your hands together like this." "Now, we're going to pray." "We'll pray for him to live." "Put your hands together or the magic won't work." "You're not asleep yet?" "Mm hm." "Are you breathing all right?" "Mm hm." "Well, let's put Bubbles up here." "Then you won't breathe in her dust all night." "Goodnight." "Mum?" "Yes?" "Goodnight." "'Night." "Kooky, get up!" "Kooky, get up!" "God, do something!" "Anykee-benykee-quicky-boo!" "Hey!" "Cut that out!" "I'm a dangerous dustbag." "One sniff and you'll end up in hospital." "No one gets out of here, no way!" "He's making a break for it!" "Stop him!" "Nothing leaves the dump." "That's the law." "Stop right there!" "He's getting away." "Stop him!" "Stop him!" "Don't let him escape!" "Catch him!" "Hello..." "Anyone there?" "Don't bother trying to scare me because my eyes are shut tight." "Don't even try it." "That's a pretty silly coat to run around here in." "I bet everything sticks to it." "Fake fur, isn't it?" "Who are you?" "My name is Kooky." "I live in a city with a family." "What do you do?" "Not a lot." "So you're just for show?" "No real job?" "Well, Ondra takes me to bed at night and we play with Bubbles." "We turn into wild animals hiding from the cold in Ondra's bed." "I see." "Each to their own." "But you don't belong here." "In the forest, we don't play games." "This is for real." "Animals here fight to survive and in winter they are really cold!" "I'm trying to get home." "Good." "You should go." "Your colour and fake fur will make you a laughing stock here." "You should go home." "I want to, but I don't know how." "Oh, dear." "Want to see what I've taught them to do?" "Yes, please." "Squirrels!" "A pine cone to sector Bravo, Sierra, Tango!" "He he he!" "These burn rather well." "You stay here." "I'll be back in a moment." "Actually, you'd better come with me so nothing gets...broken." "Just keep quiet about what you do at home." "You mean the game?" "Yes, and about what you are." "What am I?" "You're a...cuddly toy." "Why shouldn't I say that?" "Here we don't go in for that sort of thing." "Hi, Captain!" "Who's that?" "He's lost his way so I'm keeping an eye on him." "Okay." "Who was that?" "No one to worry about." "Some god or another." "A god?" "Everyone here is a god of something:" "a stream, a rock, a tree, etc." "Captain, will you let me go now?" "Come on!" "I saw the strange light first." "If you promise to stop strangling everyone?" "I'll stop." "I promise!" "Okay, cut him down so he can come along." "Hi, Captain." "Want a lift?" "I'd rather walk." "What's he the god of?" "Nothing." "That's Nushka." "At last the Captain's arrived." "Now, what do we have here?" "A tree stump that makes music." "Is this really necessary?" "Shows you're in charge." "Silly old fart." "Friends, since the stump's been here a long time and has only started to play music now, it can only mean one thing." "Someone or something is inside it." "Friend or foe?" "Show yourself." "Come on out!" "He won't come out, so someone will have to take a look." "We come in peace." "We won't hurt you." "Hey, Pinky!" "Are you a poisonous creature or just blushing?" "I'm not pink, I'm red." "Come over here and let me have a bite." "We rather like your music." "Come on." "Don't be afraid." "It's only a machine." "A robot" "It's mine!" "I saw it first!" "I saw it." "I saw it first too!" "It's ours." "Let's put it in the pub." "What is it?" "What's in there?" "To the Needles!" "What?" "Come." "Stay close!" "Wait for me!" "Keep up! It's always the same." "We rush and I get crushed!" "Shh!" "Be quiet!" "Phew!" "That was close." "Shut up." "I went back for it, so it's mine now!" "It belongs to all of us." "Well, I knew something was up all along but I waited for the Guardian to sound the alert." "We were all making such a racket, you couldn't hear a thing out there." "Well, I did." "Then tell me, Nushka, why didn't you say something?" "Not my job." "When the Guardian steps aside and I take over, then you'll hear in time." "Listen!" "Listen, what's that? It'll give us away!" "It'll give us away!" "The red button!" "Hit the red button! Careful!" "Quiet!" "Who could it be?" "Here we go again." "I'll find out." "Hi there!" "I'm Captain Goddamn, the forest Guardian." "Hi, Captain." "We're looking for a little red fellow." "One that jumps and has big eyes." "Seen him?" "He's here." "He's trying to find his way home." "Are you friends of his?" "Well, sure." "We've come for him." "Mr." "Kooky, your friends are here." "There's no way he can escape out the back, right?" "So, you're not his friends?" "He broke the law and has to come with us." "And what did he do?" "He left the dump and that's against the law." "Here he is." "But I don't belong in the dump." "I just got lost." "That's what they all say." "Just let me call Ondra." "He'll tell you." "I'll use the machine inside and prove it!" "Damn it, let him!" "And sound the all clear." "This'd better not be a trick." "Look, hands!" "They shook hands." "How nice." "Two..." "Hey, that looks like me." "When that phone dies, we'll gladly take it away too." "We'll take away anything that doesn't belong in the forest." "We do our job and you get a cleaner forest." "If you're so keen to clean up, take away the dead branches." "But dead wood belongs here." "A bit picky, aren't we?" "Don't be silly!" "It's obvious." "These tops, for example, don't belong here." "They should be in the dump." "Don't you touch them!" "They're mine." "But they don't belong here in the forest, do they?" "Hey, it wasn't easy to find them." "What else would we drink out of, huh?" "All right, all right." "But can we agree that you don't need this fellow here." "Hmm..." "Sure..." "So we can take him away." "Why not?" "Hey, wait a minute?" "What's in it for us?" "Could you use your truck to move some rocks for me?" "I can't..." "I can't manage them on my own." "Now, that's the spirit." "Intelligent creatures like us can always strike a deal." "Listen!" "What are you doing?" "What are you doing?" "What's happening?" "Helllloooo..." "Hello?" "It's Kooky." "I'm lost and they want to take me to the garbage dump." "Tell them I have a home." "And please come and get me." "Helllloooo..." "Hello?" "Who was it, Mum?" "No one." "Just a strange sound." "Show's over." "Let's go." "Come back soon for my rocks." "Come back soon, yeah?" "Just a minute." "Something's not right." "If he doesn't want to go, we shouldn't force him." "Maybe he does." "Look, he's smiling." "I can't help it." "I always smile." "But I don't want to go." "So, what's the decision?" "No one's being taken away." "Simple as that." "It would keep me up at night." "So, you want to kill this deal over an old man's sleep?" "This gentleman here needed some rocks shifted." "The Captain has spoken and that is that." "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!" "Relax!" "Chill out!" "Why not leave the other junk here too?" "I'm sure you don't want it to...suffer and keep you up at night." "Yes, as a matter of principle, everything stays." "Principle?" "I think our Guardian has fallen in love with that thing." "His very own cuddly toy." "Hey, Creeper, I like the way you strangle people." "In fact, when I'm Guardian, you'll be my official strangler" "Really?" "Sure." "For starters, could you quietly snare that red fellow for me?" "You think he's cute too?" "Very." "Thank you for saving me." "The Guardian has a cuddly toy!" "Cuddly toy!" "Quit following me." "I've done all I can for you." "Now, you're on your own." "But I don't know my way home." "Just follow the sun." "It'll take you there." "Thanks." "I'm sorry for being such a trouble." "Ah, sure." "Goodbye." "Goodbye." "Stop!" "We need to talk." "Following the sun too?" "Room for me?" "Cuddles in the woods alone, Death will come to pick his bones! Now, who the hell is that?" "Who's there?" "It's me again." "What do you want now?" "The sun went down." "You should've waited till morning." "But I'm allergic to the dark." "Well, you can't stay here;" "everyone would talk." "I wouldn't have stuck up for you had I known you'd stick around." "Please, just tonight." "I'll leave in the morning." "God damn it!" "Have you eaten?" "Turn it off!" "You'll give us away!" "Blast it!" "The captain sleeps like a log." "Just wait till he's asleep." "Will do." "We're not stupid." "Yum, these poached rabbit droppings are scrumptious." "You still haven't had my speciality: pickled ant larvae." "You should eat and build up your strength." "Mmm..." "Excellent!" "I never knew food could taste so good." "Do you eat slugs?" "No." "Do you know something?" "This is the first time I've ever eaten." "I never ate at home." "Are slugs good?" "Disgusting." "I think only Nushka likes them." "Is he the one who wants to take over from you as Guardian?" "Damn right." "But first he's going to have to prove that I'm not up to it." "And that won't happen." "He doesn't know me." "But why don't you just let him take over since you're a bit..." "What am I?" "Well...you might want to rest." "You know what's good about being old?" "I've seen so much that I can tell how things will turn out before they happen." "It's called foresight." "That Nushka gives me the heebie-jeebies." "Heebie what?" "Jeebies." "That's what we say." "So, that's about the only thing you'd ever get from him." "Well, now it's time for bed." "I'll sleep on the balcony." "You stay here since you're scared of the dark." "So they went to sleep, and so will we." "What is it now?" "I've never slept away from home before." "Well, except for last night, when I faked it in the forest." "Congratulations." "And don't forget to turn off the light." "At home we always said 'Night night.'" "Fine." "Goodnight." "No kiss, no hug?" "Cuddly toy, indeed." "They're not here." "Maybe they're hiding." "Check the balcony?" "Don't shine that in my face!" "It's not that bright." "Idiot!" "It is!" "Oh, is it?" "Sorry." "Now all I see are coloured rings." "What was that?" "He's waking up." "Quick." "Back to the lift!" "Can you see anything now?" "No." "Just feeling my way." "Careful, there is a step here." "Aaah!" "What?" "Huh?" "God damn it!" "This wasn't part of the deal!" "What's got into you?" "Sorry, I got scared." "I told you I'm not used to sleeping alone." "Damn it!" "I hope no one saw us." "There's a bird...and a butterfly!" "Two of them!" "Oh, no." "Not butterflies." "They love to talk!" "He was cold, so I shared my blanket." "Haven't you ever been cold?" "Quit snooping and beat it!" "And you hit the road too." "I don't want to see you here again." "Okay." "See you later." "No, you won't." "Good bye!" "And don't get into trouble because I won't keep saving your neck." "Sorry, Captain Sir, but the sun isn't there today." "Aha!" "It's behind you." "But yesterday, it was on the other side, wasn't it?" "I'm confused." "The sun's here now, so go that way." "Just keep walking towards it." "And don't come back!" "Thanks." "With a little luck, he should find his way somewhere." "But whether it's home..." "Well, that's up to him." "God damn it!" "If that's him again, I'll show him." "Who's that?" "Ouch!" "It's us." "We heard you were in bed with the cuddly toy so felt it best to knock." "Who's "us"?" "How do you expect me to know who "us" is?" "Do you know how tiny you look from up here?" "Us!" "The patrol unit from the dump." "Captain, we came to tell you an animal is in trouble." "What animal?" "What trouble?" "It's furry, probably a dog." "It's in Stinkville." "Stinkville isn't my beat, patrolman." "It's not my problem." "See you later." "Nushka said you wouldn't help." "He's on his way there now." "Is he nuts?" "What's a Stinkville dog got to do with him?" "And, damn it, how come you're involved?" "So, what should we tell him?" "That you can't help, or that you won't?" "Tell him he's not the Guardian." "It's not his job." "He's setting a trap for me." "Hey, squirrels!" "Two cones to sector Bravo, Victor, Juliet..." "A bit to the left." "Oh!" "Ow!" "We're being bombed...with cones!" "Hi, Pinky." "I'm not pink." "I'm red." "You won't get very far, Pinky." "Hi, Captain." "So we hear you won't help an animal in distress?" "It's not here." "It's in Stinkville." "But if Nushka saves it, certain birdbrains will think he should be our Guardian instead of you and that would not be good." "That's odd." "There wasn't a hill here." "Here?" "Well..." "Where was that?" "Where I left my car." "I didn't think I'd need it...uh, for a while." "In the anthill?" "Ah, so it's an anthill!" "That explains why it wasn't here before then." "And there should be a big rock over there." "Do you see it...too?" "Yes, it's there." "Then that's where my car is." "They say you can't see properly." "It's not true, is it?" "Just imagine that; a Guardian who couldn't see." "What nonsense!" "That's a relief." "So can we tell everyone that our good old Guardian still has what it takes?" "Of course you can." "I'm on my way!" "Bye!" "Bye!" "And good luck!" "Just testing the bumper." "But Stinkville is the other way." "Damn it!" "Damn it!" "This isn't going to be easy." "I need better eyes." "Where's that little cuddly fellow?" "He's always around when you don't need him..." "Damn it!" "Hello, Mr. Kooky!" "Hello!" "Hello!" "Mr. Kooky!" "Where are you?" "Over here!" "Come here, don't be scared." "I can't." "I'm all tangled up." "Say something so I can find you." "'There was an old woman who swallowed a fly." "I don't know why she swallowed a fly.'" "'Perhaps she'll die...'" "So, where are you?" "Say something!" "Blackberry, you're shaking." "Do you have the little fellow?" "Aha!" "So the Creeper's got him." "Ah..." "He just got tangled up." "So, let him go!" "Remember what you promised." "Thanks a lot." "I thought I was a goner!" "Ever driven a car?" "No." "It's complicated, Lots of levers and stuff." "I'll drive and you'll navigate." "You tell me where to turn so we don't crash." "You're very kind." "I'd never have made it home on foot." "You'll be my co-pilot." "We just need to check out something in Stinkville." "Then I can help you on your way." "Keep your eyes peeled." "There!" "No, the other side!" "That way!" "Don't shout." "Why?" "No shouting in the forest." "Speak softly." "Look out..." "Where?" "Oh!" "So sorry, we didn't mean it." "Everyone all right?" "You're meant to direct me!" "I said to look out." "And that means left or right?" "You don't know your left from your right, do you?" "Well, well." "Some co-pilot!" "Yes, we're quite a pair." "One can't tell left from right and the other is blind." "You think I can't see?" "Well, it seems like it." "See that squirrel over there?" "Where?" "There." "Hop, hop, hop..." "And it's gone." "Did you see it?" "No." "So who can't see now?" "Anyway, you should get out and roll in the mud a bit." "That colour of yours makes you stick out a mile." "But I can't go home dirty." "Then just cover that red head of yours." "Please, can I learn left and right?" "Ow!" "That hurts!" "Now you'll remember it's me you need to be afraid of." "Get in!" "We already are." "So let's go!" "There!" "You mean "to the right"." "To the right." "Now the other side, so..." "left." "Well done!" "There's a map in the glove box." "You mean this?" "That's it, a bee map, very detailed." "Can you see us?" "No." "Look carefully." "There's an art to reading such a map." "I think I see us!" "But now I don't anymore." "I think we should stop so you can have a look." "It's too complicated for me." "And for me it's too...uh...detailed." "Don't worry, I know the general direction." "If we see someone, we'll stop and ask." "It'll be all right." "Hey, there's someone." "Stop!" "Who is it?" "Hard to say." "Excuse me." "Excusez-moi." "Croak-croak." "See-through wings, body like a stick..." "A dragonfly?" "Drrn-drr." "It is a dragonfly." "Drrn-drr vrrn-vrr Stinkville?" "Vrrn-drrn sorry!" "Pardon!" "What did the dragonfly say?" "You didn't tell me there were two of them." "It was hard to tell." "They were all twisted together." "Always remember, when two animals are like that, we don't talk to them." "To the right." "They were doing sex, weren't they?" "We don't talk about that either." "Well, if we don't talk about it, how will I know what I'm seeing when I see it?" "I think I see a dam." "Then we're going the right way." "Fresh clean water is what I sell, drink lots of it and you'll feel well!" "Is this the way to Stinkville?" "Fresh clean water is what I sell." "Fresh clean water." "Good luck to you then!" "Water ahead, look out!" "It's okay, the car's waterproof." "But not me." "I mustn't get wet." "See, that was easy." "Where to now?" "Can you give me a little push?" "I can't get wet." "Oh, you got out." "I'll ask the water man to help push." "Hey, did the Captain pass by with a red teddy?" "Fresh clean water." "Fresh clean water is what I sell." "Drink lots of it..." "To hell with you!" "...and you'll feel well!" "It's Nushka and those bagmen!" "I see something red!" "Someone's hiding there." "Hi Captain!" "Everyone thinks you're in Stinkville and here you are taking your time washing your car." "It looks like a raspberry." "Or a blackberry not ready to eat yet." "Let's check its leaves." "Stop wasting time and let's go!" "It doesn't seem to have any leaves." "That's strange..." "Oh, wait, yes it does!" "I think it's a raspberry." "Do raspberry leaves shake?" "No, they don't." "Is there a plant that shakes?" "Guess." "Blast it, we're in a hurry!" "In the wind they all shake." "So it's just the wind." "Let's go." "Make way!" "Animal in distress!" "See you." "I should be off too." "The sun is over there." "And so Kooky headed home, but something must've eaten him or he'd be here by now." "Practicing or just playing around?" "But if he had a computer inside his tummy..." "Don't speed it up!" "...he could put himself together when the animal pooped him out." "And don't rush it." "There's a pause." "But he doesn't have anything like that so he'll stay chewed up." "Hey, hang on!" "Has anyone ever needed you when it really mattered?" "Ondra needs me." "But dry." "I can't move when I'm wet." "If my stuffing gets wet, it takes three days to dry." "He needs you to sleep, but he can fall asleep without you, right?" "But he doesn't want to." "He doesn't want to, but he can." "But I can't go on without you." "Can't those little gods help you?" "Ever seen gods helping anyone?" "They only look after themselves." "What about him?" "He doesn't mind water;" "let him help you." "He can't or won't." "Just like you." "Don't think I'm not grateful." "I'd help but I can't get wet." "It's the same thing." "It isn't." "It is." "Hey!" "There's a bird." "And another." "There's a nest!" "Where?" "On that trailer over there." "A nest on a trailer?" "What will they think of next?" "Excuse me." "Tweet-tweet!" "Tweet-tweet..." "woof-woof ouch-ouch?" "Another bird's just arrived." "We should be off." "He may be more helpful." "But you said two animals together..." "We don't talk to them, right?" "We don't talk about it!" "Well, she's sitting on her eggs and he's feeding her so, believe me, nothing's going to happen here." "Tweet-tweet woof-woof ouch-ouch?" "See where he pointed?" "Yes, sir." "Let's go!" "Toodle-oo!" "Toodle-oo." "Tweet tweet." "Go left." "Now right." "Will we be there by evening?" "Because I tend to go to bed pretty early." "Nice smell." "It smells like where I live." "If it were nice, it wouldn't be called Stinkville." "Every animal in distress suffers." "If we know about it and don't help, we share the blame for their suffering." "He can move, but he's tied to something." "Uh huh." "Something white and light." "It's attached to his collar." "He probably likes to run away." "It's to stop him." "Here comes the Guardian and his Cuddles!" "Has his conscience got the better of him or is he just worried I'll save the dog and the day?" "But how can you be so sure he wants to be saved?" "Captain Goddamn, can't you just accept that you're past it?" "Hey, dog!" "Woof-woof!" "Rrr-huff vrr-mrrr brrr-huff huff-brrr?" "He says he's fine." "He can move and it's better than being tied up." "Now, watch me." "I'll ask him:" "Vrr-huff huff-huff huff-huff?" "Know what I said?" "Stand still if you think Goddamn is a coward." "Now watch me save him." "I'm afraid Nushka hasn't learnt anything." "Tell him not to be scared." "I just need to bite through these wires!" "I believe he's saying he'll help you from the other side." "What?" "A nest full of eggs in danger?" "Back to the birds!" "No nest, no trailer, no nothing." "I'd say they went that way." "Why do you think that?" "There are tracks." "Damn right." "This isn't a road." "It's more like stairs!" "If I go quiet, it means I've fallen out." "Tell me when we can turn off!" "It's all blurry." "For me too!" "I think you should go..." "Left?" "No, right, now!" "What happened here?" "Where'd they go?" "Speak slower, who the hell can understand you?" "Get some hay and follow me!" "We'll be carrying eggs." "To hell with the eggs!" "We want Cuddles." "Do as I say and he's yours." "Carry on." "I'll head them off!" "I see a road and tiny cars." "Do you see the trailer?" "Nushka's behind us!" "Stop it!" "We didn't do anything to you!" "Throw your hat at him." "Mind that car!" "Hey, Cuddles!" "Cuddles in the woods alone..." "Aim carefully!" "Did it stop him?" "No." "I can't see us." "We're on the other side already." "I can see us now!" "Every cell has three letters:" "left, right, and above." "Looks like a comb on the left." "That's an E!" "Don't tell me you can't read?" "Scissors on the right." "Scissors?" "Like this." "Aha!" "An X." "Hey, squirrels!" "Immediate covering fire:" "Echo, X-ray, Oscar!" "Cones are raining down behind us!" "You're too slow." "Read faster." "The map shows a hole ahead." "We can't both fit!" "Right." "Squirrels!" "Covering fire to sector Echo, X-ray, Quebec!" "Duck!" "It's snowing!" "Because of the speed." "The faster we go, the colder it gets." "Wow!" "It's great!" "Know any more tricks?" "I can blow smoke rings, but that's not going to help us now." "Hold onto your hats!" "Guess we won't be helping him." "Damn right." "Can you see the trailer?" "There it is!" "Am I going the right way?" "I don't know, I can't see." "So stand up!" "I still...can't...see." "I see it!" "Well?" "We have to..." "Ahh!" "Captain Sir, I'm here!" "Aha!" "A path." "Don't say a word." "Now even a blind man can find his way." "Look!" "Why do we need these bloody eggs?" "Can't you see?" "If we save them, it'll prove Goddamn isn't up to the job anymore." "And that's where I come in." "Captain, stop!" "What's going on?" "Nushka's here." "Where?" "Ahead of us." "Actually, behind us because we're going in circles." "Quick, I can hear them!" "Hide yourself." "That Goddamn colour of yours." "Once I wrote a rhyme about him." "Listen." "You'll split your sides." "Captain Goddamn means no harm but he can't see the length of a barn." "For far too long he's had control." "We all now wish he'd fall in a hole." "Wow." "Powerful stuff." "If only I could write, I'd put it down and pass it around." "We'd help you but we can't write either." "I know the letter P." "There's no P in the rhyme." "P like poop hole." "A poop hole of a poet." "Dad?" "Dad?" "How do you stop a tractor?" "Use the brakes." "Same as a car." "Dinner's ready." "Set the table." "Where's that Goddamn chain?" "Ah, here it is." "I almost lost it." "Captain, where are you?" "You haven't even tried it." "This is really good." "If you aren't going to eat, it's straight to bed for you." "Maybe he's sick." "He's been acting strangely this afternoon." "Captain, where are you?" "The eggs are too heavy." "I'm here, under the chain!" "I can't see you." "I'm here." "Where the hell are you?" "I can't hold on anymore." "Captain!" "Hand them over or I'll sock you in the guts." "Then you'll break the eggs." "Exactly!" "So let go." "Nothing personal, but you're off to the dump, my friend" "Maybe we should rip him in half so he won't escape." "Don't worry, that's for later." "I'm composing a rhyme to celebrate when I become Guardian." "Never fear, brave Nushka's the one..." "Blast it!" "Cuddles and the eggs are gone!" "Now there's a good rhyme." "Too bad there's still no letter P." "Blast it!" "Stop!" "He's really gone!" "The chain isn't broken, so he must be inside." "Come out!" "We won't hurt you." "At least, not yet." "Let's jab it till he squeals." "I need the eggs in one piece." "That is, if they're still there." "How many exits are there?" "Three, I think." "Each cover one." "Don't be scared." "Come on out." "And I've got him!" "And I am holding him!" "That's me, you fool!" "I have an egg!" "And another!" "Shut it!" "He's still there!" "We're going to smoke you out." "You shouldn't smoke." "Ondra's dad smoked." "He gave up because he was afraid of dying." "This won't kill me." "I don't have lungs so it can't hurt me." "I'll fall apart one day whether I smoke or not." "How about me?" "Will I die?" "You'll also fall apart." "Like everything here:" "the stump, the needles, the trees..." "Even Nushka will fall apart one day." "Even his two bagmen and their truck too." "But that's not the end because everything becomes something else." "And it all goes around and around, and that's the way it should be." "But what if I love someone and they die?" "You're homesick, aren't you?" "Let's go." "Did you take your medicine, darling?" "My God, he's burning up." "Fire!" "Fire!" "Don't be a hero." "Show yourself!" "The Captain can't save you now." "Who are they talking to?" "Me." "They think I'm still in the back of the truck." "Tweet-tweet!" "Come out, before the eggs are baked." "Fire!" "Maybe I should give myself up..." "Nonsense." "It's better they think you're in there." "Butterfly above, boss." "Take him down." "Hey!" "Our truck!" "They're stealing our truck!" "Blast it!" "What's up with the birds now?" "The good news is your car's okay." "The bad news is they want to burn us alive!" "Playing with fire in the woods?" "They must be crazy!" "What?" "What?" "What's happening?" "We're on fire." "We need snow!" "Make it winter!" "If only this old banger can make it." "Downhill, to the left!" "Tree!" "Go right!" "Faster!" "Faster!" "It's snowing!" "Faster!" "It's going to be hard to stop." "Watch the road! Are those bison?" "No." "Bison are even bigger." "Go down there and get the eggs." "What about the eggs?" "Any of them broken?" "It doesn't look like it." "Hey, can you get out?" "No Can I stab the old guy with my fork?" "Only if no one can see you." "Hear that?" "They're already done for." "Are you all right, Captain?" "Do it too." "Don't be taken in." "It sounds more like some kind of animal." "Captain, what animal sounds like that?" "Guess." "Blast it!" "I can't stand his guessing games." "It's the ones we saw, isn't it?" "They're smaller than the bison." "Damn right." "I hope they hear us." "Hurry!" "Let's get out of here!" "Hurry!" "Faster!" "Water's dripping on me." "It's the snow melting." "I've got to stay dry." "Quiet, they're here!" "I'm full of stuffing." "You already told me." "I'm getting wet." "Stop feeling so damn sorry for yourself." "Ever seen a blue tit with a frost-bitten leg?" "Or a dying bee?" "Or a wounded fox?" "They accept their fate." "They don't complain like you." "Because they can't speak." "I can." "I'm wet, old, almost blind, but am I complaining?" "When I'm wet, I'm heavy and I can't walk." "I'm just a stupid toy." "Our grandma wears glasses for her bad eyes." "That's what you need." "What are glasses?" "They help you see better." "What are you doing?" "Making me glasses?" "No, I'm trying to squeeze myself dry, but not much luck." "Why not take out your stuffing since you're already torn?" "It'll dry quicker." "You mean I should take my insides out?" "I've seen worse and there's nobody else around." "The Guardian before me is buried here." "He was a real ogre." "When he fell apart, he chose me because I was an outsider." "He was worried that a Guardian from the community would give his son a hard time." "But there was one condition:" "that his son would take over when I got too old." "And what happened to this son?" "I tried to teach him how to be a good and just Guardian." "So why not let him take over?" "He'll take care of Nushka." "Nushka is his son!" "Oh, God!" "I'll leave the stuffing in my head so we can keep on talking." "There's a place where everything is written; what was and what will be." "There you can find out if you get home." "Really?" "Can we go there?" "Please!" "But it's written in an ancient, secret script known to very few." "But you know it, don't you?" "Of course I do." "You're great!" "Of course." "I know all languages." "But my eyes are too weak to read." "Not even a letter?" "Not even a letter." "I fix my eyes on something far away and then I'm okay." "There's something I want to show you." "You have to come closer." "Letters?" "Made in China." "So you're also..." "Never again call yourself just a stupid toy." "Mr. Goddamn!" "Captain, Nushka's here!" "You're under arrest, my dear Captain." "Nushka, my dear boy." "What are you doing?" "Now you've really gone too far;" "I'm going to have to teach you a lesson." "We'll see about that." "Cuddles must be here somewhere." "Let's stamp around until we trample on him." "Cuddles, where are you?" "Come out!" "Quick!" "Make a fire." "Before someone sees us." "Make it big." "Pile everything onto it." "No." "It's me you're burning! Warm enough for you?" "Help!" "Shout all you want." "Louder, we can't hear you." "What happened here?" "There used to be a forest?" "Stay back." "He's crazy." "Let me out!" "Didn't I risk my life to save your eggs?" "Tweet twice for yes, once for no." "Did you see Goddamn setting the forest on fire?" "He'd never do that!" "But the birds saw it!" "Will no one speak up for the Captain?" "Hornman, didn't you see anything?" "I did..." "I..." "I did, but...but not clearly." "Well, what did you see?" "Tell us!" "I saw the Captain's car chasing...chasing after that truck and...and...and firing flaming cones." "Oh, man!" "But there were others in the car." "Yes, he was with Cuddles." "Cuddles is behind it all." "What'll we do with him?" "He's still our Guardian!" "Or is he?" "We should hang him." "Hang him!" "Hang him! So, long live the new Guardian, eh?" "Hurrah!" "Hurrah!" "HOSPITAL" "It's raining..." "Reward for information leading to the arrest of the red fellow going by the name of Kooky" "and of everything alien to the forest." "So, what did you report?" "The waterman's boat?" "No." "So I'll report the boat." "You think I can't see you, but I see much better through this bottle." "Aren't you ashamed?" "I rescued your children and you sold me down the river." "Sorry to turn my back on you." "Are you still there?" "If you help me to get free," "we'll be even." "Will you help?" "Aha." "You're afraid." "You think Nushka will hurt your kids." "So, can you do something else for me?" "Where's my hat!" "Hey, you there!" "Bring that boat over here." "Fresh clean water is what I sell, drink lots of itÉOh!" "Now, where's my reward for telling you about that boat!" "I need these rocks moved to my place." "So load them up then." "What?" "By myself?" "The nerve!" "We said we'd haul them, not load them." "I've only my paddle left." "Anyone want to buy a paddle?" "We gave him his medicine but he's still wheezing." "Now, open wide." "No, you're not coming in!" "Open your mouth." "The doctor just wants to take a look." "Ah." "He's probably got a bad bout of bronchitis." "Yuck, you disgusting beast!" "Get off me!" "This will calm him down and he'll sleep." "Open your mouth." "Don't even think about it." "I've got a lot of fight left in me." "It's only a pill." "No thanks, I'm not hungry." "Ah." "There we go!" "I know I look thin but it's not because I'm hungry." "Blast it, what do you want!" "Hey!" "My hat was stolen." "It was silver." "Probably sent to the dump." "We're cleansing the forest." "But it kept my head dry." "And they stole my boat." "I'm up the creek with just a paddle." "I'll see you one at a time." "Form a queue." "I can't queue." "I must sell water." "Don't drink rain water!" "Fresh clean water is what I sell! How can I run this place when they keep bugging me?" "We could have a nice conversation now, if you could talk." "After dinner..." "I'm afraid it won't be possible." "Guardian!" "Hey, Guardian!" "I've had it!" "Everyone to the Needles!" "Move!" "To the Needles!" "Oh, that's really kind of you." "But it's wet." "Maybe under a tree we could find some dry stuff?" "Poor Captain." "I hope he doesn't get eaten alive." "I'm not sorry for him." "Nushka is better." "His hearing is superb." "Did you hear anything?" "Well, he did." "Nothing like a young pair of ears." "I've got a feeling we're going to regret this cleansing of our forest." "If you're from here and respect Nature, you've got nothing to fear." "You're a fine one to talk with a body full of wires." "But they're made of iron from rocks from the earth!" "They're natural wires." "I was born with them." "I'm part of nature." "I belong here." "And who's to decide what's natural and what isn't?" "The Guardian." "That's his job." "And therein lies the rub." "Nothing?" "Nothing dry anywhere?" "So you're going to give me your own?" "You're too kind." "But I'm afraid it's not enough." "No, don't!" "I need too many." "You'd have none left." "But I'll keep this one." "It's still warm." "Thanks." "Alarm over!" "I'm just hiding from the rain here." "But it's big enough for both of us." "Another feather?" "Now I have two." "Thanks." "Load us up, we're in a hurry." "But my arms are really aching." "So take a break and we'll pick them up next time." "Then I can get some more." "We'll have to let the Captain go soon." "We can always take him to the dump." "That's an idea." "Let's make it look like he escaped." "Hey lads, look here!" "What's going on?" "I can't see." "He's getting away!" "We should've helped him ourselves." "If he were innocent, he'd wait for Nushka to let him down." "And then stick up for himself." "This can only mean he's guilty." "And I'm going to stop him!" "You will not!" "It's a Needles alert." "I'll tell Nushka you let the Captain escape!" "And I'll tell him you're full of wires!" "Take that!" "And that!" "Captain!" "It's me, Oakie." "You're escaping so you can prove your innocence and come back to us, right?" "But I'm not escaping." "Look out, the bagmen are coming!" "Hurry, they've seen you!" "Blast it." "What the hell are you doing here?" "It's a Needles alert." "Why aren't you taking cover?" "But..." "I...then what are you doing here?" "We're going after Goddamn." "There is no alarm, is there?" "It's all a trick, Nushka." "You..." "Help!" "Help!" "Thanks a lot, I'm almost stuffed." "Have you seen the Captain?" "You have?" "Where is he?" "That's a silly question." "How can a bird answer that?" "Is he coming back for me?" "Does he need my help?" "Then there's no time to waste!" "What's happening?" "Fresh clean water is what I..." "Help!" "You're hanging onto my paddle." "Do you want to buy it?" "No." "No, I don't." "Then let go of it." "But I'll drown." "I had a boat but they took it." "Someone ratted on me." "Someone from here?" "Yes." "Some people!" "Everything will be okay, Goddamn turns to rubbish today." "Hey, a tin can." "A tin can with someone in it." "Straight into our hands." "Now wrap him up." "Tape his legs together!" "Quick, after him!" "Get off me!" "Here it is: "Capt. Goddamn unjustly imprisoned..."" "Yes, they got that right." ""..." "looking for a way to get Kooky home."" "Precisely what I'm doing." "We should go back and rip the bagmen to shreds." "What does it say?" "Now it's about you: "Kooky returns."" "Actually, it says:" ""The hero Kooky returns."" "It says I'm to take you home by way of Stinkville." "Aha." "We have to go through Stinkville!" "So it also tells the future?" "Sure, I just needed these glasses." "If you like, I'll teach you to read it too." "I'll let you go, but you have to promise me something." "Promise me that wires are part of nature and belong here." "Does it say anything about medicine for asthma?" "Here's something..."Some trees use their leaves to breath, others their needles."" "Just some gobbledygook instead of admitting it doesn't really know." "Something strange is coming." ""For you are threatened..."" "Which is like "Because you are in danger..."" "I think we'd better..." "This is humiliating." "It's time I stood up to that brat!" "It would've said if we're meant to fight them." "But it said you're to take me home through Stinkville." "Damn right." "Go on, I'll hold them off." "Charge!" "Waaah!" "Rip them to shreds!" "Fire!" "Roast that teddy!" "Take cover." "Water!" "Oh, no!" "Not that!" "You're going to get wet." "Damn, that's a lot of water!" "Blast it!" "And don't come back!" "I'll have you drawn and quartered and the ants will come piss on your grave!" "Hey, there's a "P" in "piss!"" "That wasn't a rhyme!" "This'll put you back on your feet." "I feel better already." "That's good." "Then you'll be home soon." "What'll you do now?" "After a while I'll go back." "But don't worry." "I'll be okay." "Do you know what else was written there?" "That the next Guardian will be small and furry." "What do you make of that?" "I bet you made that one up!" "See how smart you are?" "You'd make a great Guardian." "You're a hero with a heart." "That's the most important thing of all" "Don't tell me you won't miss all of this." "I will miss it, but I have to go home." "Maybe they'll throw you out again and we'll meet once more." "Hopefully not, but I'd be glad of it because I've grown fond of you." "Watching something over there?" "Or are you up to your old tricks because I've touched a nerve?" "The second one." "Fine, let it go then." "Hey, there's that dog." "Don't move!" "Two jumps and he's on us." "But he's friendly." "I'm going to introduce us." "Hi, I'm Kooky, and that's Captain Goddamn." "Come with us if you want." "We won't hurt you." "I could've sworn I threw him out." "He came back, Mum!" "He made it!" "He came back, Mum." "Mum says I dreamed it all, that Goddamn doesn't exist." "But Mum never saw Santa Claus either, and he gave her a watch." "The good news is she's allowed Kooky to stay." "We spray him once a week and freeze him for 24 hours." "And he's OK." "He smells like ice cream." "All because he doesn't have a tag that he's washable." "Ondra, take the trolley back, yeah?" "Hi." "Hi there." "Your dog, is he?" "He's a stray." "I can't get rid of him." "You want him?" "Good boy." "He looks after me when I pass out." "That's a good fellow." "If I ask you something will you tell me the truth?" "Depends on what you ask." "Can you make yourself smaller?" "How do you mean?" "Didn't you use to be smaller?" "Come here, clever boy." "I'll tell you a secret." "Everyone wants to be small again." "Because it's the best and you know it, don't you?" "Ondra!" "Your mum's calling." "You're the Captain, aren't you?" "You're Captain Goddamn." "Come on, Ondra." "Come here." "We don't talk to strangers." "What did he say?" "Nothing." "We can take this outfit off you, if you want." "But you'd have to go back on the shelf." "What's that?" "I hope you're not taking it off him?" "I think he looks cute in it." "Mm." "Teeth brushed?" "Mm." "Have you taken this?" "Hm mm." "I'll do it." "Now count to ten." "Goodnight." "One...two...three...four five...six...seven...eight nine...ten." "Did anyone see what happened?" "Hello, sir, can you stand up?" "Do you hear me?" "Sir?" "You're bleeding." "It's only wine." "After you get better, please be small again" "They need you." "You should go back to the forest." "Who is it that needs me?" "Everyone." "Everyone knows that you're good now." "Is it your grandfather?" "Hello, sir." "Can you hear me?" "What's your name?" "Goddamn." "Captain Goddamn." "Here, take him." "You will go back, won't you?" "I know that man probably wasn't Goddamn." "I'm not that small." "And if he dies, they'll probably throw Kooky away." "But he can take care of himself." "He can find his way home again." "He's already done it once." "But if that really was Goddamn, and if he gets better, and if he takes that dog with him, then Nushka had better look out!" "Subtitled by Jason"