"To be honest, which can be hard sometimes  the only thing boys think about  is nudity." "You can pretend to be interested  in cars, football or your fellow men." "And movies of course..." "But where do all these things lead to?" "Watching nudes of course." "Take Börje, for example." "He needs nudes like he needs breath." "Or else his chewing-gum sticks in his throat and his face turns red." "A film director is the thing to be!" "Are you allowed to look?" "Take me, John!" "It will be my first time!" " Hello, Inge." " Well I'll be damned!" "Wirén!" "It's been a while." "Run out of news again?" "Hardly!" "You've broken all records." "This is the 20th screening of Dear John." "The whole village must have seen it three times." "The lads watch it every night." "Do you like the film, lads?" "Was it because of your fiancée?" "We were never engaged." "Were you engaged?" "How could you think that?" "Take me for example:" "I dress well  stand in the rain and charm the girls." "Well... you know why." "Hello, Anita!" "You'll have to move or we won't get any girls." "Move!" "Trying to borrow someone else's nude causes problems." "Especially with Billy." " Is four-eyes bothering you?" " Stop it, Billy!" "Where do you think you're going?" "!" "If you want to gawp at tits, grab an eyeful!" "There's something for you to think about when you beat your meat!" "And he has a bad temper sometimes..." "Take your specs then!" "Come on, look at her tits!" " Sweetheart!" "What happened?" " Nothing." "You're wet, Anders!" "And where are your glasses?" "The only nude I get to see is Mum, but I'd rather forget about that..." "But how can you get to see a real nude  in a dump like this?" "A pair of high heels is getting off!" "High heels?" "What's going on?" "What are you all staring at?" "Have your eyes got stuck?" "Hello, baby!" "Welcome to Dalarna County!" "Hello, Sofia!" "Welcome!" "Please get in." "Well now, Modde!" "Is this your new chick or your unfortunate student?" "Bloody hell fire!" " You're the unfortunate round here." " Summer holidays!" "Rock 'n roll!" "Sofia..." "I'd like to have her!" "Dream on!" "Even the Tornblom's old ewe wouldn't have you  so why should she?" "Did you see how she looked at me?" "She looked like a film star." "Börje..." "Can't you see I'm busy?" " I brought this with me..." " Hush!" "I'm resting." "I know what we can do with her." "Who?" "That foster-home girl of Modde's." "Dad had a camera." "I thought we could film her." "Sure!" "Afterwards we'll fly to the moon." "Easy!" "You haven't got a chance with her." "Go home and milk a cow or something." "I thought we could film her in the nude." " In the nude?" " We could look at her when we want." "She's coming!" "What are you doing?" " Who?" "Me?" " You've been out here for five hours." "I'm filming." "Really?" "I'm going to make a film this summer." "Do you want to be in it?" "Can you put your hand between your buttocks?" "Then you hold the other hand in front of you like a pair of scissors." "Good!" "Now you can grab your arse while you cut your dick off." "Inge!" "How do you make a film?" "What do you mean?" "Have you got a camera?" "That's a small one!" "What sort of film are you going to make?" "A skin-flick." "A skin-flick?" "With a girl who resembles Brigitte Bardot." "But she doesn't want to." "Major talents need an inducement." "They must realize you're serious." " We're serious all right." " You need publicity." "If it's in the paper they'll believe in you." "It's interview-time boys!" "You deal with this." "Thanks for the rag." "Rag?" "Will it be shown at the cinema?" "Will there be a premiere?" "Will they write about it in the magazines?" "Sure... they'll write about it." " When does shooting start?" " Eh?" "When do you start filming?" "On Monday." "Count me in." "Move it!" "Move it!" "Now we'll have some fun!" "Speed up, you old fart!" "Bloody hell!" "This is going to be fun!" "What do we need?" "Okay... we need a cameraman." "That can be you." "And someone to deal with the sound  so people hear what the actors say." "And a director, that's me, and film for the camera." "I read about you." "We'd like ten reels." "Ten?" "It says that you're real directors." " Do you have a tape recorder?" " Do you have any money?" "Can you put it on the slate?" "You know us." "Who are the actors going to be?" "Will there be... a lot of..." "girls and so on?" "That new girl's going to be in it." "If you join us you can be there when we film the bathing scene." "She's going to swim in the nude." " She's got a high T and B quotient." " T and B quotient?" "Tits and Bums." "Really?" "Well..." "I mean films are nice." "They don't need a high T and B quotient." "It's the art-form itself that I appreciate." "But if you want to film a nude scene, that's fine by me." "I can close my eyes." "Anders!" "Anders!" "Hello." "I thought... you might get hungry." "Don't you think so?" "Where shall I put the camera?" "Shall I start the tape?" "Do you want me to start recording the sound?" "Sure." "Switch it on." "It's all right, we don't need any sound." "This is great!" "Okay, we'll manage without sound." "Are you ready, Sofia?" " Börje?" " I'm filming." "What am I supposed to say?" "Can you sing or something?" "Don't you have a story?" "A story?" " Don't you have a script?" " Yes, don't you have a script?" "Well?" "Sofia, bend forwards and raise your arms." "Is this a joke?" "Gone with the wind..." "Out you go, sister." "We have adult things to do." "Are you going to wank again?" "Get out, I said!" "Get out!" "Out!" "This isn't going to work." "Getting a good script will be impossible." "Anders!" "I heard that you needed some help  with the script and so on." "I've written something." "It's like a story." "I don't think so." "It's about a girl who runs away from home  to the only person she can talk to." "She's in love with the person she's going to talk to  but he doesn't know that." "She is about to tell him  but isn't able to at that moment." "Please read it." "Her stepfather beats her so she runs away from home  and she loves this boy she goes to and is saved from drowning." " Did you make this up?" " Er... yes... sure..." "I see." "Who plays the hero?" " The hero?" " Yes." "The fellow who saves me." "Er... that will be me." "This is your dress for the film." "You're wicked!" "How can you call yourself my father?" "!" " Great!" " Nail!" "It's a saying:" " She hit the nail on the head." " Now the bit where Modde hits you." " No..." "I could never hit Sofia." " It's only a film." "All the more reason." "Never hit a woman!" "I don't think the character I play would do that sort of thing either." "We'll have to make some changes then." "Inge showed me a few tricks of the film trade." "Let's do it this way:" "You stroke Sofia like a good father." "Sofia looks scared, thinking you'll hit her because she shouted at you." "Start the camera." "Turn your head away, Sofia." "A bit quicker." "Once again." "Turn quickly aside..." "once again... and pat her." "Good." "We really appreciate what you're doing for Sofia." "She hasn't had an easy time." "Really?" "She's gone from foster-home to foster-home." "No friends, no family..." "Er... in this scene in the script there's a scene..." "It's... just a little scene." "In it you go swimming and almost drown." " And then..." " Yes?" "...and then I save you." "I've got to go to the toilet." "Anders is trying to say that you swim in the nude." "No clothes." "Show your boobs!" " I'm not swimming naked." " You have to." "It's part of the film." "It's in the script that Anders has written." " Is that what you've written?" " No..." "I mean..." " What do you mean?" " Yes, what do you mean?" "I mean... it's natural." "We'll close our eyes as you undress." "Swim in the nude yourself, you four-eyed creep!" "Do you want a lift to the village?" "Is it fun being a Hollywood star?" " It's okay." " Everyone knows about it." "We all know why they're doing that film." " Really?" " It's for the scene where you swim." "They're doing it because they want to see you naked." "Everyone knows about it." " Did Anders tell you that?" " They say the camera has no film." " Really?" " Have you seen any of the film yet?" "No." "There you are..." "Hello." "Come here." "Me?" "Have you ever done it?" "What?" "Screwed." "Well... it it has happened." "When I was at my last foster-home" " I fell in love with my foster-father." "He was really sweet." "He had a big nose." "I thought he was charming." "We would look at each other and cuddle furtively." "You know how it is..." "Then one day he got all excited  and wanted to screw." "I liked him and so I I let him..." "I let him screw me." "Then..." "Then afterwards he changed completely." "I thought we could continue cuddling and so on but he didn't want us to see each other any more." "That's why this film is so important." "If it is all right and people watch it, then I might become someone  and not be thought of as just some girl from a foster-home." "Sofia..." "I was so happy when I saw you in the paper." "I thought that now, now at last..." "I understand." "It made me so unhappy when I heard there was no film in the camera  and you wanted to see me swimming naked, sexy  and you just wanted to screw me and vanish like everyone else." "No, I promise." "The idea is to make a good film, an important film, a film about..." "It was Börje..." "We're going to have a screening tonight at my place." "I can't promise you that she'll be there." "At least tell her that I understand what she meant now." " Has she come yet?" " No." "Hello." "Hi!" "Move over." "Here you are:" "The best seat." "Move over!" " Are you ready?" " I am." "How about you?" "This might take a little time." "It's the equipment..." "You are so wicked!" "How can you call yourself my father?" "!" "Stop it!" "Stop it!" "How did you do that?" "I know a few tricks of the film trade..." " You're good." " Yes, he's brilliant." "Turn it on." "You're a real film star..." " Where are you going?" " To the toilet." "Hello, Beauty!" "Want a ride?" " Again..." "No." "How's the fiasco film going?" "It will be damn good." "Hello." " Today we're going to do..." "...the bathing scene." "I know." "Shall we?" "I'm just waiting for more film." " Let's get filming!" "Here you are." " Thanks." " There have been a few changes." " What?" "Will there be more girls?" "!" "The bathing scene is a bit sensitive  so we'll try to have as few guys as possible." "Yes, but you've got to have sound." " I can close my eyes..." " No, it won't work." " I can hide in a bush..." " Sofia is sensitive." "She's had a hard time." "To hell with that!" "You promised I'd be in it!" " You'll see it on film afterwards." " That's not the point." "That's not what it's about." "It's just that... that I..." " Shabby, Anders!" " I make the decisions." " Billy!" " I make the decisions." "I'm not allowed to be in it and I'm the one who got him the film!" "Okay!" "Run down to the water." "She's wearing a swimsuit!" "Wasn't I any good?" " Get that swimsuit off her!" "Quick!" " I've got to go to the toilet." "Wasn't I any good?" "Yes, but..." "What?" "I thought we could try to do it a bit... a bit slower." "Stop messing about!" " Get that swimsuit off!" "When I swim I wear a swimsuit." "You've just run away from home!" "You wouldn't have a swimsuit!" "Says who?" "Have you ever left home, squirt?" "!" " Don't make Sofia..." " To hell with your changes!" "You promised nudity!" " There are more important things." " Like what?" "!" "Pin-up mags is all you think of!" "Okay, four-eyes, if there's no nudity, I'm going home!" " I can swim naked if she daren't." " Shut up!" "I'll do it if she's such a coward." " In that case I'll swim naked..." " Good!" "We'll let Angelika save you then." "Let's get filming!" " You're being nasty to Sofia." " Shut up!" "She's cheating!" "She took it off underwater!" "You can't see anything!" "What the hell?" "Get out of the way, Angelika, so I can see her naked!" "Out of the way, Angelika!" "Get out of the way!" "Now we've run out of film!" "This is a total flop!" "You weren't supposed to be naked." "That's okay." "It's got to be done." "Angelika's my rescuer now, but I'm still the star aren't I?" " Of course." " Good." "I suppose there'll be posters as well." " Posters?" " You know:" "A great big one." "It's something I've always dreamed of." "With a picture of me." "A profile." "No, full face with my head a little tilted, like this." "What do you think?" "If it all turns out as you promised." "Sure." "It will." "Because if it does I'll let you screw me." " Can I have some more film?" " I've run out." " But you had several reels left!" " True." "Somebody bought the lot." "But we're shooting!" "How can you sell all the film?" "Easy peasy!" "I make the decisions in here." "Right?" " But..." " Yes?" "I promised there would be a premiere." "Sure." "But crap is crap  and business is business!" "Understand?" " How did it go?" " Fine." "But... there's no more film." "What do we do now?" "Come here, four-eyes and let's talk business." "Come here, four-eyes!" "What are we doing here?" "I heard that you had a few problems film problems." " We don't need any help." " Sure we do!" "We really do." " You said you needed film." " Sounds like you need a producer." "But I'd want a part for my trouble:" "Getting reels of film and so on." " There isn't one." " Sure there is!" " Tell me about it." " Tell him." "Tell him the story." "It's all about an unfortunate beautiful homeless girl who runs away from home." "When she's in a barn a dirty old man tries to rape her  but then the hero comes and saves her  and kisses her on the lips." "Sure, what's my part?" " Eh?" " What part do I play?" " The dirty old man." " The dirty old man?" "No, this is what we do, lads:" "I'll be the hero." "Sofia gets pneumonia after her swim." "Lonely, frightened and sick she runs to the square  where I'm rocking and rolling in the car." "I see a damsel in distress." "I drive after her, I save her from the dirty old man" " I kiss her to make her well again  and then we have a love scene in the hay." " Anders is the director!" " Take it or leave it." "Where the hell do you think you're going?" "I've... got to go to the toilet." "Anders!" " Shall we carry on filming?" " Of course." "Is Billy going to be in it then?" "You're so clever!" " Get in the car!" " Cut!" "Shut up, Anders!" " Cut!" " We're filming, you idiot!" "I see we have film stars in the village." " May I take a photo?" " Sure." "Hello." "Give him a kiss." "Now let's do the close-ups!" " Hello." " Hi." "I was thinking I thought that we that is, you and I there's a romantic film on at the cinema." "I know." "Would you like to go?" "Anders came along as well." "I don't think you can be happy all your life." "If both do their best that's good enough." "Are you cold?" "Do you want to go home?" " But... you're a man." " I can warm you." "Wonderful!" "If only you knew how great my longing has been..." " You're kind." " Do you think so?" "Kind..." "Men are never kind, are they?" "Take me, John!" "It will be my first time!" " What was the other man's name...?" " I don't remember." "If you only knew how great my longing has been." "Everyone wants you." "If you only knew how I have longed for you." "How did it go?" "Didn't things go well?" "Action!" "Are you ready or do you want to go home to your magazines?" " I'm ready." " Then start!" "Stop!" "Much too slow!" "Once again." "Let's see if Billy can manage this scene." "Action!" "Stop!" " This is impossible!" " I know." "You're useless." " We might have to replace you." " What?" "!" " Who's directing, you or me?" " Cut it out!" "And try not to shake the camera this time." " Stop it." " Once again." "Places everyone!" "Ready?" "I'm ready." "Action!" "Stop!" "That was no good." "Once again." "No good?" "That was super!" "Once again." "Action!" "Stop!" " What is it now?" " Too quick." "Once again." "Do it right." "Action!" " Cut it out!" " Break for lunch." "This isn't working." "You're the one that isn't working!" "Everyone can see that!" " I'm the director." "I know what works." " Oh yeah?" "How does this work, director?" "You think that bloody camera makes you someone!" "But she doesn't want you." "Nobody does!" "You're still a jerk, with or without a camera!" "What the hell?" "!" "Stop it!" "Stop it, Billy!" "I'll make this film." "I don't need you, you four-eyed arsehole!" "You two come with me." " And you!" "Now we'll make a proper film!" "Sofia!" "Come outside and sit in the car!" "Get a move on!" "Jump in." "Sit in the car!" "Hurry up!" "Leave me alone." " I just wanted to..." " Leave me alone... please." "They'll have to manage without a cameraman." "Do you really think it would have worked?" "Imagine the two of you together:" "She's as lovely as a film star." "Everyone would try to take her from you." "She flirts with everyone." "Don't talk about what you don't know about!" "Here you are." " It was a disaster." " Didn't you carry on filming?" "Yes, but it didn't work with Billy." "Sofia got mad, said it was no good and went home." "She said that Billy was useless  both as an actor and a director  and that you were much better!" " Is that what she said?" " Of course!" "Really?" "I'm sorry." "Hurry up!" "Drive into the barn, back out and drive in again." " Are you sure?" " I'm sure." "Once again!" "Inge thinks there will be a lot of people at the premiere." " Will the paper send someone to it?" " Bound to." "Didn't Inge know a photographer from the film magazine?" " Yes." " Do you think he'll come?" "I can ask Inge to ask him." "Are you serious?" "You're kind." "Go and have a look at the cinema." "There's a surprise waiting for you." "What?" " The final kiss?" " Yes." "With tongues as well?" "What?" "Are we going to use our tongues when we kiss?" "No, we'll just press our lips together like they do in films." "That's all." "You're the boss." " Börje!" " It's okay, I'm filming." "It's time for the last kiss, Anders." "What are you doing here?" "Do you remember when we were younger and always played here?" "Do you remember when I taught you to swim?" "You love her, don't you?" " No, it's something else." " What?" " Nothing." " Do you think I'm stupid?" "Anyone can see you liked my script because you got to kiss Sofia." "Admit it!" " Does she love you?" " How would I know?" "Ask her." "Tell her you love her." "I can ask her if you want." " No, it's all right." " What do you want to do then?" "Kiss?" "You can practise on me." "Sofia!" "You look lovely." "The dress suits you." "It's all so exciting... the premiere!" "I'm probably the most nervous of all." " Anders!" "You have a visitor." " Who is it?" "It's Brigitte Bardot." "You can wait in his room." "Anders!" "Hurry up!" "Come..." "Me?" "...I have to go to the toilet." " Come on." " No..." "Put it in then." "Come on." "Sofia..." "My poor boy!" "Look at it this way:" "At least you've done it." "That's more than I can say." "Four-eyes!" "Come here!" "I want a word with you..." "Can I have your autograph?" " Can I have your autograph?" " Of course you can." " There you are." " Thanks." "Come on, Nina." "The homeless girl was miserable with her step-father." "You're wicked!" "How can you call yourself my father?" "!" "I'm leaving!" " You're staying here!" " Never!" "Ow!" "They quarrelled and she ran away." "Go downstairs." "You can't stand here." " What if they don't like it?" " They will." " Nobody will laugh at you." " Don't worry." "Hurry up!" "The homeless girl is alone in the dark forest in the rain!" "I knew it was dangerous, but I entered the forest." "I must save the homeless girl." "Then a dirty old man came along!" "I only just got away." "The dirty old man shouted at me:" ""I'll get you next time!"" "The homeless girl walked all night and had to sleep with the animals." "She was dirty and had to go to the dangerous rapids." "But the current was strong and dragged her down." "But my friend came and saved her with the mouth-to-mouth method." "You must hide." "The dirty old man is after you!" "My friend told her to hide in the barn." "It's Billy!" "She ran to the square, screaming for help." "Nobody dared to stop the dirty old man." "He was easily recognized by his big black hat." "Hurry!" "The dirty old man is in the barn with the girl!" "I ran to the barn as fast as I could." "He was about to kiss the homeless girl." " Stop!" " Over my dead body!" "Leave the girl alone!" "Take that!" "What the hell?" "!" "It was now a life-and-death struggle and may the best man win!" " Did you take a beating, Billy?" " I never agreed to this!" "Hell!" "Thank you." "I would like the writer of the screenplay, Angelika, to join us." "Come up on stage." "And Billy as well." "Go on." "Don't make a fool of yourself." "We'll wait outside." "Anders!" "Congratulations!" "I had to stand in deep water  and record the sound all the time while keeping my balance." "Anders!" "That was good, damned good!" "Thanks." "Anders!" "Are you going to make any more films?" "Only joking!" "Only joking..." "Thanks." "It was good to work with you." "I thought you were tremendous." "It was a terribly good film." " You were like the great film stars." " Thank you." "Hop on." "Come on!" "English subtitles by Alan Rees Words AB, Malmö"