"(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)" "ANNOUNCER 1:" "Ready for the restart after the caution." "With Jimmy Horton and Joe Ruttman leading the pack." "Mark Martin and Brett Bodine have been running side-by-side for the fast 20 laps." "ANNOUNCER 2:" "After a slow pit stop, Branheart is working his back up to the front, picking them off one at a time." "ANNOUNCER 1:" "Well, the way I see it, he's been picking them off two or three at a time." "ANNOUNCER 2:" "Whoa!" "Greg Sax getting tagged." "He comes right in front of car number three." "JARRETT:" "This is what it looked like fast year at the Coca-Cola 600." "We have three hours before this year's race gets underway." "And Humpy Wheeler has another great pre-race show for us." "And we're lucky enough to bring it to you five on the air." "L want to remind you all that this year's Grand Marshal, honorary starter, is the legendary Bandit." "I wonder how the Bandit feels about being a marshal." "Grand or otherwise." "PARSONS:" "I'll teh you this, there's at feast a couple of drivers that's breathing a sigh of relief that he's starting the race and not running in it." "JARRET:" "The only reason he's not running in it is, there are no police cars involved." "(LAUGHING) That's what they say." "We have the lovely Miss Coca-Cola 600 here this year." "Ned, have you seen this year's Miss Coca-Cola 600?" "Oh no, my cardiologist has determined that would be harmful to my health." "PARSONS:" "Weh', she may be hard on the heart, but she's good on the eyes." "She'll be here to assist us, so stay with us." "Oh, hello, Miss Coca-Cola 600." "Mmm-mmm-mmm." "(EXHALES DEEPLY)" "Nothing is gonna ruin this day." "Beautiful day, folks." "JOEY:" "You only have 10 minutes, Crystal." "This is definitely my day." "(MUSIC PLAYING)" "Be right with you." "Hello, hello, how's the prettiest girl this side of the Mason-Dixon line?" "Heard you're starting the race." "Yeah, you got it, that's me." "Grand Marshal." "So what happened, they couldn't get Ed McMahon?" "That's okay, that's fine." "Take your shots." "I don't care." "This is my day, you can't ruin it." "Give me a cup of your finest black coffee and I'll see you in a bit." "Three coffees to go." "I have to go to the bathroom." "What, you wanna go in there with me?" "Just hurry up." "We ain't got all day." "Yeah." "Order me a Danish." "Give me your keys." "What?" "The keys to your car." "You know, the pretty little black one." "(CHUCKLES) You don't really want to do that." "Give me the keys to your car." "Now!" "Okay." "Okay." "Hey!" "LORETTA:" "Hey, you didn't pay your check." "MAN:" "I was here first." "BANDIT:" "She has my keys!" "Rayne, is that you?" "My Car!" "Wait a minute!" "Wait for me!" "Wait!" "(EXCLAIMS)" "Hey, wait!" "Wait!" "Wait for me!" "Damn it!" "I can still make it." "Don't find me." "Don't find me." "Don't find me." "Shoot." "Shoot." "Okay, okay." "Let's see what we can do." "Okay." "(CHUCKLES)" "(sums)" "Man." "BANDIT:" "How is he doing?" "He said he's got a two-day run." "He's headed south." "Headed south?" "Rayne, how you feeling there, partner?" "I feel perfect." "Good, okay." "What day is it?" "Ah, Tuesday?" "It's Wednesday!" "No, okay, forget that." "What's the month?" "(SIGHS) Eighty seven." "1987!" "Wow." "Oh boy." "Ah, Rayne, do you remember me, buddy?" "Bandit?" "Just take my wallet, but leave the pictures of the kids." "(CHUCKLES) No, not that kind of bandit." "That's my name, Rayne." "Bandit." "Do you remember me?" "Listen." "RAYNE:" "Oh." "I'm gonna drive the bus for you, okay?" "You are?" "Yeah, yeah." "I have a Class A license, and I don't want you to lose your job or anything." "Now what's in this for you?" "Nothing." "I got him into this trouble and I'm gonna get him out of it." "It's my responsibility, right?" "Oh, plus it's the only way you're going to get to the Coca-Cola 600." "Now, Loretta!" "That would be a calculating, manipulative selfish thing to do." "Mmm-hmmn." "Where's your keys?" "(EXHALES) Keys are in the bus." "Okay." "Feel better, partner." "Hang in there." "Take care of him." "Bye." "See ya." "(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)" "Good morning, folks." "Uh, this is the Bandit." "I will be taking over for your bus driver, Rayne, who had, uh, a little bit of a run in with a brick wall." "But you'll be happy to know that he's gonna be all right." "And I can see by the manifest here that we're on our way to Palm Beach, Florida." "Ah, that's great." "So everybody sit back, relax, enjoy the ride." "And I wlll see to It personally that you get to Palm Beach safe and sound." "Eventually." "(BUSY SIGNAL)" "Damn." "GOLD ON RADIO:" "Now, with just minutes to go before the Coca-Cola 600, and, of course, the question on everybody's mind is where is the Grand Marshal?" "Oh, my... (SIGHS) He's on his way!" "GOLD:" "With me is the lovely Miss Coca-Cola 600." "What would you like to say to all of our fans?" "MISS COCA-COLA:" "Oh, I'm so happy to be Miss Coca-Cola 600." "It was always my childhood dream and I only hope the Bandit shows up so I can start the race with him." "Darling, I'm on my way!" "GOLD:" "Well, Bandit, wherever you are, if you can hear me, we're looking for you!" "This is Eli Gold on MRN Radio, your official NASCAR station." "Damn it!" "Excuse me, Mr. Bandit." "It's just Bandit." "Would you mind turning down the air a bit back here?" "Oh, damn it." "Sure." "Wow, uh... (LAUGHS) You're, uh..." "Nudists!" "(LAUGHS) You're, uh, naked." "That's what nudist means." "Well, thank you, I can see that." "Wow." "Excuse me, darling." "(LAUGHING) Well, uh..." "You can't be just riding around on a bus with no clothes on!" "Why not?" "Why not?" "Why not?" "Why not." "Because,uh, there's gotta be some kind of law against it, right?" "We're a charter!" "Perhaps I could shed some light on this." "Oh, no, but don't, don't shed anything else, okay?" "We're all members of the Sun Lovers Nudist Association, and these two love-birds here, Brad, Tammy, raise your hands!" "Yeah, no, but don't raise anything else." "That's fine." "Thanks." "Well, our club goes down to Florida, to Palm Beach, every year for a retreat, and this year, Tammy and Brad are tying the knot." "(LAUGHS) That sounds painful." "ARNOLD:" "Well, I don't know what to tell you." "We just got so darn exuberant we couldn't wait to get to Florida to shuck these symbolic manifestations of a repressive and binding society." "He means our clothes." "Yeah." "Wow." "They are going to love you guys at the race track." "Race track?" "BANDIT: (SIGHS) Look, um..." "You can all do whatever it is you want to do behind the curtain." "Okay, I guess." "But, uh..." "I'm, uh, trying to get to an appointment." "And I don't want to have to explain your symbolic manifestations of your whatevers to any kind of law enforcement officers or anything like that, okay?" "Can you work with me on this?" "We're on your team." "You're on my team." "That's gonna be great." "Listen, uh, I'm gonna be kind of in a hurry, so can you guys buckle up?" "Is that gonna fit with your rules or whatever?" "We'll be fine!" "Good, okay, see you folks." "Oh, boy." "(CELL PHONE RINGING)" "Hello." "Hey!" "Lynn, buddy, listen." "I've got a job for you!" "Where are you?" "Buddy, let me tell you something." "You are gonna love this run." "It can't be much better than the run I'm looking at, pal." "Lynn, I've got myself a bus full of nudists." "Nudists!" "You expect me to believe you got a busload of nudists?" "Listen, I gotta go." "I'll see you when you get here." "What?" "Damn it!" "That's my car!" "(TIRES SQUEALING)" "(ALL SCREAMING)" "Oh, my baby!" "Are you all right?" "I thought I'd never see you again." "You stole..." "Thank you!" "You saved my life." "I could never possibly repay you." "Thank you!" "(BEEPING)" "DISPATCHER: ...was found in the possession of a white female, fate twenties, at Porter's Tow and Charge, off State Route 47." "According to the investigating officers," "Bandit has decided not to press charges due to the suspect's exceptional remorse." "The car has been returned to its rightful owner." "Case closed." "Bet me." "I really appreciate you taking me to the next town." "I mean, I know you didn't have to do it." "(SCOFFS) Especially after I stole your car and everything." "You're damn right I didn't have to do it!" "Well, I appreciate it." "That's all." "Well, you're welcome." "BANDIT:" "Boy, uh..." "Um..." "You know, you look, familiar." "I'm the one who held you up at the truck stop." "From somewhere else, I mean." "I think I'd remember." "Look, um, I'm sure it's none of my business, but what was your problem with those guys back there?" "Joey?" "The man is entirely too possessive." "(CHUCKLES)" "I've been trying to dump him, but..." "Oh, no, that guy is your boyfriend?" "Come on." "Not exactly." "Yeah, well the next time you want to point a gun at somebody, why don't you point it at him, huh?" "Well, somehow, I don't think it would stop him." "Hey!" "(LAUGHS) It's a cigarette lighter!" "You stole my car with a cigarette lighter?" "Well, where am I gonna get a real gun, huh?" "It's the best I could do." "I gave you the keys to my car for a cigarette lighter, I can't believe it." "(sums)" "(EXHALES DEEPLY)" "So, you're going all the way to Florida?" "Nope, I'm not." "The bus is, but I got other plans." "Other plans." "(ANNOUNCER CHATTERING OVER PA)" "ANNOUNCER:" "Here are some of the things that are on the fine." "(ANNOUNCER CONTINUES CHATTERING)" "So what do you think about dinner sometime?" "(CELL PHONE RINGING)" "Have you ever been to the Governor's mansion?" "Excuse me." "Hello?" "Hey, hey, poor boy!" "Yeah, yeah, I don't know." "We got cut off, buddy." "Listen, I need you, okay?" "So I want you to meet me at the intersection..." "Listen, I must have a bad connection, Bandit." "L got to go" "So, where were we?" "Buddy?" "Can you hear me now?" "Damn!" "(PEOPLE CHATTERING)" "Don't tell me she got away, Joey!" "Don't tell me you let her go." "How did she get away?" "What?" "A gun!" "Where did she get a gun?" "In her purse?" "Didn't you check her purse?" "Oh, I ought to tear your heart out." "I've got 10 FBI agents on my tail and you don't even check her purse to see if she's got a gun?" "You make me sick." "You know, you should have killed that bitch when we had a chance." "But, Lucky, she was your girlfriend." "Ah, that's no excuse." "Listen, Joey, I'm telling you, you better find her before I find you, because if you don't find her," "I'm gonna get you." "And you better find her before the FBI does!" "Don't answer me back!" "I'm telling you, she's interested." "(SCOFFS) In my dreams." "You ought to ask her out." "WOMAN:" "Sheriff's office." "Hello, Thatcher." "What brings you back to Scruggs?" "THATCHER:" "I'm looking for this girl." "(CHUCKLES) Ain't we all?" "Why are you looking in Scruggs?" "Don't they have any pretty Yankee girls up there in Washington, D.C.?" "(BOTH LAUGHING)" "That's real cute." "You know, I didn't like you in elementary school," "I didn't like you in high school and I don't like you now." "So let's cut the nice-nice and get to the chase." "Nice seeing you, too, Thatcher." "Her name is Crystal Kaye, she's wanted by the Bureau." "We have reason to believe she's entering your jurisdiction." "That's Federal talk for our neck of the woods." "Oh, thank you." "THATCHER:" "Let me make this real clear." "I have a portable fax, an international paging system, and the support of the most sophisticated information gathering organization in the world." "Well, golly." "I don't know what you'd need us for then." "I don't." "Neither I nor the Bureau could have any conceivable need for you, or your backwoods department." "But I might need your jail." "You boys try to stay out of my way while I catch this girl." "Good to see him again, huh?" "(CHUCKLES)" "I have to go to the bathroom." "Well, there's, uh... (CHUCKLES) One in the back of the bus." "All right." "Say hello to my friends while you're back there." "(LAUGHS)" "ANNOUNCER OVER RADIO:" "There's the green flag and we're underway at the Coca-Cola 600." "No!" "No way!" "Wait!" "I'm gonna be there." "Wait For me!" "What are you doing?" "ARNOLD:" "Hi there!" "We're nudists!" "(CHUCKLES) I can see that." "Isn't this, um, a little dangerous?" "BUNNY:" "Oh, no." "We have plenty of sunscreen on." "I'm talking about the company you're attracting." "Aren't you afraid they'll crash or something?" "ARNOLD:" "Oh, you mean the aeronautic flotilla up there?" "They'll get bored after a while." "Well, have fun." "What the heck?" "Hi!" "Name's Havilsham." "Brad Havilsham." "Orthodontist." "Hello." "I'm on my way to get married." "Congratulations." "I'm very happy for you." "Hey, Brad." "Hey." "I see you've met my friends." "Are you married?" "No." "I was." "Once." "You were?" "Were you happy?" "Happy?" "Not really." "Are you having second thoughts?" "Uh, no, no." "Why would you say that?" "Oh, I don't know." "A naked man comes up to a perfect stranger and starts asking all kinds of questions about marriage and happiness and, well, you just have to wonder why?" "Pull over!" "Don't pull over!" "I said, pull over!" "My God!" "What does he want?" "Just don't pull over!" "The girl, she's mine." "I'm pulling over!" "He'll kill me!" "Yeah, he's gonna have to stand in line, darling." "I don't argue with the brothers Smith and Wesson." "(ALL SCREAMING)" "What are you trying to do?" "Don't you know, guns kill people?" "(EXCLAIMS)" "What happened to him?" "He's gone." "But I'd be willing to bet he'll be back though." "Now, you got something you want to tell me?" "Could you fill it up for me?" "Sure thing." "Thanks." "Attention, topside." "Hey, hey, I thought you guys were going to be team players." "Now, if we don't have ourselves a major air collision here, we're at feast bound to have the FAA on our butts, and considering what you're wearing, that's bound to be painful." "So this is your friendly, courteous bus driver, asking you to please, people, put your clothes on or come lnsilde the bus." "(HELICOPTER HOVERING)" "Look, I don't know who you are or what you did or who these guys are that are after you, but, darling, you're high-risk cargo." "I'm real sorry I brought all this trouble to you." "I didn't think they'd find me." "I'll just catch a ride here." "Thanks again for all your help." "Oh, now, wait a minute now." "I'm not gonna let you just go off and fend for yourself." "There's big guys after you, they have big guns." "To tell you the truth, I think I'll be safer away from you." "You attract too much attention." "Hold that thought." "Hey." "Hey." "That's for the diesel." "Okay." "There you go." "Thank you." "Let me get some aspirin, too." "Okay." "There you go." "Thanks very much." "All right, take care." "Hey, topside!" "Have any of you seen the girl that I was with before, by any chance?" "Nope." "I wouldn't think she'd have a hard time getting another ride." "I guess you're right." "Thanks for cooperating, by the way." "Howdy." "You see that girl?" "CLERK:" "Yeah." "JOEY:" "When?" "Just now." "Where?" "Right there." "You getting wise with me?" "No, man, why would I do that?" "You asked me if I saw her." "There she is." "I didn't say, "Do you see her?"" "I said, "Did you see her?" In person." "In person?" "She been around here?" "Oh, man." "That was her." "She was here." "Yeah, I just saw her for a second though." "I was really busy, I had customers." "Where did she go?" "I don't know." "It could be very dangerous to your health if you were to hold anything out on us." "Now, why would I do something like that?" "Let's see." "She got off a bus, a tour bus, and there's a car behind it." "A car?" "Yeah, it's a black Stealth." "Honey of a car." "The girl, the girl." "Right." "Miss Tequila Gold." "You know, she got off the bus." "I don't know, maybe she got back on it." "Black Stealth?" "Yeah, black Stealth." "License plate "Bandit"." "Jed, hey, it's Bandit." "I can't believe I keep getting your machine, partner." "This job I have for you, man, is once in a lifetime." "Uh, wait a minute." "Wait a minute." "I'll call you back, buddy." "(sums)" "Can I help you, ma'am?" "What does it mean when there's oil spilling all over the place?" "Uh..." "I'm sorry, Sister." "For what?" "For nothing." "(LAUGHS) Need a ride?" "Oh, thank you." "We'd really appreciate that." "We?" "Sisters?" "What a lovely man you are to do this for us." "That car has the devil in it." "I think it's in the crankcase." "Well, let me just go and see if there's some seats for you." "Uh..." "Wait, wait, let me find you a..." "What were you saying?" "(CHUCKLES)" "Nothing, nothing." "Go ahead, make yourself comfortable." "Thank you." "(sum-nus)" "(PEOPLE LAUGHING)" "Sounds like a party upstairs." "Yeah, it's a wedding party." "Oh, how romantic." "I love weddings." "They always make me want to cry." "Well, this one would really make you want to do a lot more than that." "Oh, no, no, no, no, Sister." "I would not go up there." "No?" "No, no, no." "They're very private people, and they asked that they not be disturbed, so..." "Well, I certainly wouldn't want to go against their wishes." "Where are you headed?" "Oh, uh, Palm Beach." "We're going to Daytona." "It's right on your way." "You could drop us off." "Really?" "Do they have a convent in Daytona?" "Well, they probably do, but we're going to the stock car races." "Have you ever been?" "(LAUGHS)" "Well, as a matter of fact, I was supposed to go there once, but I was detoured by a little bus trip." "Shall we?" "What do you think the chances are of us finding that girl in that magazine before Thatcher does?" "Well, I think they're pretty darn good." "Pretty darn good?" "We ain't got no fancy computer system, we ain't got no fax machine, we ain't got no worker FBI bees hustling us information." "Thatcher does." "I'd give anything to find that girl and get her back before Thatcher does." "Wouldn't that nail his socks to the wall?" "And remember, we do have one thing he don't." "What?" "Friends." "Hey, Scooter." "How you doing, Ferebee?" "How's your Aunt Tilly doing?" "Still making fried chicken every Sunday." "You know, you ought to come to Scruggs this week and join us." "Whoa!" "Would you look at that." "Miss Tequila Gold." "I think I've seen her somewhere before." "She was in here today." "Scooter, you sure you're not making this up?" "Hey, I swear." "Come on, would I lie to you boys?" "And then two guys came in looking for her." "FBI?" "(CHUCKLES) No." "If these guys were FBI, they're recruiting in Sing-Sing." "I told them to stay out of this." "Who?" "TATE:" "Thatcher!" "Them." "What a coincidence." "We haven't seen you in, what, five years, and now twice in the same day." "I thought I told you to stay out of this." "Stay out of what?" "This is FBI business." "Oh, oh. (LAUGHING)" "He thinks we're here on business." "No,no,no." "This is just a little personal visit to our old friend Scooter Crebs." "Whoa!" "Did your computer tell you that old Scooter knows something about your suspect?" "My computer told me that if you're here interfering with official FBI business, that you'd be in an awful mess." "(BOTH LAUGHING)" "(BOTH EXCLAIMING)" "TATE:" "Turn it off!" "Try to stay out of trouble, boys." "(CELL PHONE RINGING)" "Answer it." "Why don't you answer it, Joey?" "Boss?" "Repeat after me, Joey." ""How many chitlins would you like, Warden?"" "Because that's what you're gonna have to say." "That's what we're all gonna have to say when we're serving brunch to the warden up in the slammer." "Look!" "Call you right back, boss." "(BUS HORN HONKING)" "Oh, shoot." "Where's the girl?" "Your guess is as good as mine." "You mess with me, you're gonna find half your brains across the State line." "That's a nice way to be talking in front of the Sisters." "Sisters?" "I'm sorry." "I'm looking for someone." "I suggest you try the church." "No." "I mean, a girl." "It's business, you understand." "(PEOPLE LAUGHING)" "More Sisters?" "Oh, no." "It's a wedding party." "You've seen this party?" "No." "They don't want to be disturbed." "Uh-huh." "Excuse me." "Whew!" "(WOMEN GIGGLING)" "Hi!" "We're nudists!" "Have a nice day, boys." "BANDIT:" "Attention, main cabin, for those of you who have been inquiring about accommodations, arrangements have been made for your lodging at the finest mote!" "this side of the Mason-Dixon Line." "Okay, folks." "Attention, topside, this is the captain speaking." "I have turned off the no smoking sign as well as the fasten seat belt sign, and you are all free to move about the cabin as you wish." "And please be patient, there?" "!" "be someone here to help you in a few moments." "(EXHALES)" "Mr. Bandit?" "Just Bandit." "Good luck." "Where are you going?" "To the bar." "Do you drink?" "No." "That could change." "(FEEDBACK SCREECHING)" "Stay with me, folks." "I'm trying to get the band tuned up here." "Give me a double." "Anything." "Bad day?" "Yeah, I'll tell you, son." "Some days you're the bug, some days you're the windshield." "Today, I'm the bug." "You got a phone?" "Thanks." "I'd like to sing the King's favorites." "I know he'd want it that way." "If I can just get this tune going here." "(DISTORTED MUSIC ON TAPE)" "(LAUGHS)" "I'm gonna fire this band." "Jed!" "Hey,partner how you doing?" "It's Bandit." "Where you been?" "I've been trying to get in touch with you." "What did you break?" "Which leg?" "Both of them?" "Well, does this mean you can't drive?" "Jed, how'd you do that?" "This is incredibly inconsiderate of you, don't you think?" "Bandit?" "Yeah, one second." "Yeah, okay." "No, I understand." "What can you do?" "It's tough breaks, right?" "Okay." "Feel better." "Yeah, me, too." "Sorry." "What can I do for you?" "You don't recognize me." "Brad!" "Uh..." "Wow." "Sorry." "You just look different." "I guess it's the clothes." "Pretty nice, huh?" "Pretty nice." "Yeah." "That fabric, I'll tell you, I remember that." "It's from a 1965 Volkswagen custom seats I once owned." "It's nice to see it again." "Brad, shouldn't you be at your stag party or whatever?" "What are you doing here?" "The Wedding's off." "What?" "It's Tammy." "She got fed up with me." "Everywhere I looked today, at the truck stops, on the highway," "I see women with their clothes on." "I can't take my eyes off them." "They looked so dressed." "Right, I know." "Well, can't you just talk to her?" "I mean, every groom acts a little strange the night before the big day, right?" "I've tried." "It's no use." "I'm gonna take a little break, folks." "Give this band a rest." "MAN:" "Why don't you go back to Graceland?" "Thank God." "Damn." "I'd like a beer, Freddy." "Damn it." "Wow, that's how you really talk, huh?" "Afraid so, man." "Used to bother me, but since I lost my real job, it sort of comes in handy, man." "Nice jacket, man." "Oh, thanks." "I'm grateful, don't get me wrong." "But, man, I miss trucking." "Trucking?" "Just me and my rig, tooling down the highway, baby." "You're a trucker?" "Well, I was a driver, until Lucky Bergstrom took over my route, man." "Can you drive a bus?" "Damned racketeer, I tell you." "Muscled in on legitimate trucking all over the state, man." "Put guys like me right out of their jobs, man." "Men with wives and families, rigs they'd spent their whole lives paying for." "Have you ever been to Florida?" "Pour me a shot, Freddy." "A big one." "(WHISPERING) I love the way those clothes hang on her." "Why don't you sit down here?" "Take a load off." "Let me introduce you to Brad, this is Brad, and that's Brad's new jacket." "Let me buy you another drink, son." "Let me have one for the King." "Oh, man." "...who disappeared last week and is believed to be somewhere in the Appalachian area." "FBI sources have confirmed that Crystal Kaye, the former Miss Tequila Gold, was being held as a material witness..." "What?" "(KNOCKING ON DOOR) mat the upcoming trial of Lucky Bergstrom..." "What?" "...on racketeering charges." "(INDISTINCT CHATTERING ON TV)" "(GRUNTS)" "I want the girl." "Where is she?" "There." "(WOMAN CHATTERING ON TV)" "(BOTH GRUNTING)" "SLADE:" "You almost killed me out there today!" "(GROANS)" "BANDIT:" "I do the best I can." "I want the girl." "(GRUNTING) You made that perfectly clear." "The only problem is... (GLASS SHATTERING)" "...I don't have her." "CRYSTAL:" "You do now." "Maybe I killed him." "You couldn't kill this guy with a truck, much less a lamp, believe me." "Okay." "I know who you are, Miss Tequila Gold." "And I know who your boyfriend is." "Lucky Bergstrom is not my boyfriend." "Anymore." "You want to tell me who this guy is?" "Name's Slade." "I work for U-Serve." ""All courts, all jails." "Si habla espanol. "" "You're a bounty hunter?" "What hit me?" "Are you trying to tell me that she jumped bail?" "Right under the nose of the FBI." "They didn't want Lucky Bergstrom getting to her." "Now, if I don't get her back, U-Serve eats a hundred thou." "A hundred thou?" "A hundred grand?" "What did you do?" "Nothing." "You ever notice how the jails are full of innocent people?" "I'm telling you the truth." "She lied to Bergstrom, she lied to the FBI, she lied to U-Serve." "But she's telling you the truth." "Okay, you know what?" "I think we're going to have this conversation in private." "What are you doing?" "No, hey, don't put me in here!" "Let me out of here!" "Right now!" "I'm gonna give you one chance to tell me the truth." "And if you don't, I'm gonna know it." "All right." "Lucky was trying to launder some cash." "He opened an account in my name." "I had no idea what he was doing." "Honest." "Go on." "I was arrested and I was told the FBI would work out a deal with me, if I talked." "You know how long I'm gonna live if I talk about Lucky?" "(CHUCKLES) Yeah, I think you got yourself a pretty big problem either way." "That's why I ran." "I know where Lucky's accountant is hiding out." "Stanley." "He's got all the figures in black and white." "He can take them to the FBI and I won't have to talk." "Hmm." "And why would this Stanley do that for you?" "Maybe he won't." "But it's the only shot I got." "Okay." "Let's say you've convinced me." "How are we going to convince him?" "SLADE:" "No way!" "No way!" "Don't do this." "You can't do this." "If you do this..." "If you do this, you will be aiding and abetting a felon." "No, I won't, because if I have you with me, then she's in your custody." "Well, that means that I'll be aiding and abetting a felon." "Not to mention wasting my very valuable time." "Oh, come on, Slade." "Your very valuable time?" "What's so valuable about your time?" "I mean, think of it this way." "If she's telling the truth, then, hey, we've helped out the poster industry in America." "And if she's lying, then Leavenworth has got themselves a fine-looking poster girl." "Either way, you win, because U-Serve is gonna get the money back." "What do you say?" "You got 24 hours." "Now get these things off me." "Come on." "Come on, get them off!" "That's plenty of time." "Are you sure you can trust him?" "Trust him?" "I'm trusting you!" "Come on, get them off there." "You're a free man." "Will you..." "All right, I'm gonna do this." "I'm gonna do this." "But I'm telling you both that I think the entire plan stinks." "And I think that the two of you," "I think that you're pathetic souls for dragging me into this." "Thank you very much for sharing that with us." "All right, now I'm outside that door the entire night." "If there is one, just one false move, the deal, it's off." "Fine." "No problem." "Okay?" "Hey, Slade." "Yeah." "You know, since you're gonna be out there and protecting your interests and all," "I think that you're probably gonna need this." "And you probably might need these." "Good night." "We leave first thing in the morning." "Get some sleep." "Goodbye." "Well..." "Okay, you heard what he said." "We're gonna get an early start, so we're gonna go to bed." "Stop it." "We gotta get some sleep." "Stop." "You know, I don't think I've ever met anyone like you." "And I just want you to know..." "Crystal." "...when this is all over..." "I want you to know that I really want to believe you." "And maybe tomorrow, after we get to Stanley, or the next day, after Stanley gets to the FBI, or a year from now when you and I get together and laugh about all of this, maybe then I'll know whether you were telling me the truth or not." "But until then... lam telling you the truth!" "I don't want to have to wonder whether this is the truth, okay?" "That Stealth is owned by a guy that calls himself Bandit." "Hmm." "Colorful." "He's substituting for the regular tour bus driver." "They are on their way to Palm Beach." "They are on their way to Palm Beach." "So why don't we go down there and wait for them?" "They're not going to drive all night." "There's no reason for them to leave the main highways." "They'd almost be more visible on the back roads." "Okay." "(CHUCKLING)" "It's just a matter of time." "And they are running out." "(sums)" "All right, I'll talk to you later." "Joey says Crystal wasn't on the bus." "He says they're still looking for her." "All right, get my car." "Car." "Then get the plane." "Plane." "No parachutes!" "No parachutes." "What?" "No parachutes?" "'Cause if you don't find the girl, you're taking a walk at 10,000 feet." "I've gotta, uh..." "Yeah, yeah." "Excuse me, folks." "Well, I am sorry to say this, but there's something I have to take care of." "So I've spoken to Hound Dog here, and he's an experienced driver, and he's gonna take you all the rest of the way to Florida." "Gee, Bandit." "I feel kind of sad." "I'm gonna miss you." "I must confess, I feel the stirrings of a beginning of a loss of friendship, myself." "Well, thanks." "I'll be with you all in spirit." "Come on." "Let's go." "Hello." "Everybody inside for breakfast, then we're gonna hit the road, baby." "Now, I'm gonna be on your tail the whole way, Bandit." "If you try anything," "I'll blow holes in your tires as big as your head." "You always this pleasant before your first cup of coffee?" "Let's go." "NEWSWOMAN ON TV:" "And on the national scene, the federal witness against Lucky Bergstrom continues to evade authorities." "Eyewitness W.H. "Scooter" Crebs places Crystal Kaye in the Beaumont area, traveling with a charter group." "Wait a minute." "That's her!" "That's the girl that Lucky Bergstrom's after." "NEWSWOMAN: ...close to the investigation confirmed that Crystal Kaye may well be targeted by groups loyal to Lucky Bergstrom." "White House sources will neither confirm nor deny..." "Oh, boy." "(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)" "Now, where are you doing?" "To help the Bandit." "If he's going up against Lucky," "I'm gonna do what I can to help him out." "So am I." "TAMMY:" "Brad?" "Tammy, I'm sorry." "Sometimes a man's got to do what a man's got to do." "You seem so forceful in clothes." "I know." "Wait for us!" "(ALL CHATTERING)" "LUCKY:" "Very nice." "Great view." "Only one question." "Louie, what am I looking for?" "Is it a van, a truck, a rickshaw, what?" "Hey, boss, we picked up a police frequency." "They're looking for that Bandit again." "Are you talking to me?" "No, boss, he's the guy that's got Crystal." "Him and that bail bondsman." "Tell Joey to get a hold of her before she opens her big mouth." "You know her, she'll talk to anybody." "And this guy, Bandit, get a hold of him." "Who knows what he knows by now." "All right, boss." "She probably told him everything." "Big mouth." "This Bandit is about to have a very short life." "I'll tell you, he's pretty good." "Hmm?" "Your, uh, bounty hunter there, Slade." "He's all right." "He's got the courage of his convictions." "So, how is it you know where this accountant lives?" "Is he one of your boyfriends, too?" "Stanley discovered he couldn't live with the way Lucky was doing business." "Once you work for Lucky, you always work for Lucky, till death do you part." "Anyway, I knew about this place." "Out of the way, hard to find." "So I made arrangements for him." "So I guess he owes you, huh?" "He doesn't owe me anything." "He's a decent human being and he needed some help." "That's all." "Okay." "(LAUGHS)" "You'd better stop for some gas." "I got half a tank of gas." "It's a long ways to where we're going, and they don't have gas stations." "Really?" "Trust me." "Why don't you stretch your legs here?" "It might be the last chance you get for a while." "(TIRES SCREECHING)" "So, what was that back there, Bandit?" "Was that like a little pissing contest?" "You want to prove that your car is bigger than mine?" "Oh, I'm sorry, Slade." "Did I lose you?" "Screw you." "You know, you were getting awfully close to me there." "For a while, I was thinking you were trying to kiss me." "Ah, that's funny." "That's very funny." "Just watch the girl, bozo." "You know, she's got a name." "Watch the girl!" "(CLEARING THROAT)" "Okay, now I gotta go pay for this." "Well, I feel a lot better." "Where's the girl?" "She'll be back." "You let her go?" "Are you nuts?" "You're completely nuts!" "She'll be back!" "Would you relax?" "You know, I don't know what she promised you to let her go, but I'll find out." "And when I do, my friend, you, you will spend a very long time in jail." "Well, they'll like you." "You know, you're a typical type "A" personality." "Great risk for a heart attack and stroke." "(SIGHS DEEPLY)" "(CHUCKLES)" "That's very slick." "Hey, Slade." "She went that-a-way." "Very amusing, kid." "No!" "Damn!" "Damn!" "This is old Hound Dog coming down the highways and the byways on the Heartbreak Hotel." "We're trying to get a 20 on the Bandit." "If you all see him, return to sender." "Come on." "This is old Butterball, Hound Dog!" "Good to hear those smooth Memphis sounds again." "We seen the news and the blues on Bandit." "We don't have that 20, but we'll be on the lookout." "You stole my money!" "Crystal, I think we're even then." "Because you stole my car, twice." "I want it back." "I'm sure you do." "Now, did you win this money or did you steal it?" "That's none of your business." "It's mine." "Hand it over." "Well, I think it's mine for all the trouble you've put me through." "You can't do that!" "Okay, well then we can just wait here and we can hand it and you over to whoever shows up first." "How about that?" "Just get me to Stanley." "That's what I thought." "So, all we have to do now is get to Stanley." "That's, of course, provided that there is a Stanley." "Then get to the books." "That's, of course, provided that there are books." "And then get him to testify against Lucky." "And after that, we'll figure out how to spend the rest of the afternoon." "How does that sound?" "You don't believe me about any of this, do you?" "Believe you?" "Why wouldn't I believe you?" "I mean, other than the fact that everything you've told me so far has been a complete lie?" "I mean, I think that's a good foundation for trust, don't you?" "Where to, Miss Tequila Gold, or am I going to have to figure that out by myself, too?" "Hmm?" "Turn left." "Where?" "Here?" "Here." "I want you to meet somebody." "And then if you don't want to help me anymore, I'll understand." "L just hope this somebody doesn't have a big gun." "Well, hey, Crystal." "Hey, Jim." "I came by to see Benny." "Oh, don't mind me." "I'm just the driver." "Hey, Ben." "Come here." "Mommy, Mommy." "Oh, baby." "Mommy?" "Mommy?" "I'm sorry it's been so long, Son." "Honey, this man's name is Bandit." "He's been helping me." "This is my son, Ben." "Hi, Ben." "How you doing, partner?" "You're a little shorter than I figured, but I can see where you got your good looks from." "This is my Aunt Sara and Uncle Jim." "They've been taking care of Benny while I've been away." "Nice to meet you." "You've been all over the news, Crissie." "You can't believe everything you hear." "I can't stay long." "BANDIT:" "Yeah." "We, uh..." "We just came around to give you this." "It's something your mom's been saving for you." "What the hell was I gonna do with it, anyway, right?" "There's, uh..." "There's $30,000 there." "There sure is." "I want you to take care of Benny, no matter what happens." "Mommy, are you going away again?" "Just for a little while." "And I'm gonna be thinking about you the whole time I'm gone, okay?" "I promise." "Well, isn't this a Hallmark moment?" "See, I told you she was gonna come back." "If you just listened to me, you'd have saved yourself a lot of running around." "Get out of my face." "Get out of my face." "You know, you definitely got this attitude problem." "Has anyone ever told you that?" "You know, you're really starting to get on my nerves now." "You know that?" "Oh, come on, Slade." "You're gonna cuff her in front of her own son." "What's the matter with you?" "Why do you think she's doing this?" "Would she risk her life to try to get to Stanley and get him to testify if she was gonna run out on that little boy right there?" "Why don't you use your head, since you don't seem to have a heart?" "Hey, look." "I don't give a damn about this kid and I certainly don't give a damn about her." "I think you do." "I think you do or you wouldn't have stopped to think about it." "And you know what, I don't think you're such a tough guy underneath that cave-man facade, either." ""Cave-man facade?"" "Why don't you lighten up?" "Lighten up a little bit." "All right, all right." "But this time, we go together in my car." "And I'm telling you something." "This is your last freaking chance." "That's all I need!" "Thank you, partner." "SLADE:" "See you all." "I got something, boss." "What?" "There's the jeep that bail bondsman Slade was driving." "Yeah, could be her, if she's with him!" "Get Joey on the phone." "Tell him to meet us." "Where?" "Uh, there." "What?" "You want him to meet us in the field?" "No, I want him to meet us in a cloud." "Yeah, the field." "Pilot, take us down!" "Mr. Pilot, isn't that a truck in front of us?" "Damn." "(HORN HONKING)" "SLADE:" "This, uh, Stanley guy, is he armed?" "Stanley?" "If he had a gun, which I seriously doubt, he would not know how to use it." "Why don't you let me try talking to him?" "Hey, Bandit, I don't know if you've noticed this, but this is my gig." "I'm in charge, all right?" "No, no, maybe you haven't noticed, you attract more flies with honey than you do with whatever it is you've been using, tough guy." "Look, put a zipper on it, will you?" "This is my gig, I'm in charge." "Just..." "Just let me do it." "(GUN COCKING)" "Stanley?" "Now I want you to come out of that house with your hands up." "We want to talk to you." "Would you put the gun away!" "He's a mild-mannered, sweet, little guy." "Stanley wouldn't hurt a fly!" "STANLEY:" "You come one step closer, I'll blow you to smithereens!" ""Smithereens"?" "He must've been watching old Jimmy Cagney movies." "This isn't like him, honest!" "I thought you said this guy wasn't armed." "Don't fire!" "Don't fire!" "It's me!" "STANLEY:" "Crystal?" "It's okay!" "These men are gonna help us!" "Chris?" "That really is you?" "All right." "Drop it, Stanley!" "Stanley!" "Hi." "Why don't you just put the weapon down, 'cause it's making my friend here nervous, and, really, all of us pretty nervous." "Oh, sorry." "Chris, I've been watching the news." "I was afraid you wouldn't make it." "Crystal says you have some books that might help her out." "Yeah, I'm all packed, ready to go." "I'll be right with you." "Hold it!" "I'm coming with you." "Oh, Slade, for crying out loud." "What, do you think he has a bazooka hidden in the house?" "Come on!" "Look, Bandit, I have not lived this long by trusting innocent-looking guys who wear glasses." "(sums)" "So?" "Stanley?" "Stanley what?" "Is he Benny's father?" "No." "But I wish he were Benny's father." "He loves him." "All right, let's go." "Come on, move it." "You drive this time." "I'll ride shotgun." "Crystal. (CHUCKLES)" "Stanley?" "Hi, Lucky." "Be careful with that!" "You know, I don't know if you're aware of this, but they're right on our tail." "I thought you were a driver, Bandit?" "This isn't exactly a race car." "If it was, it'd have a number, it would be on a track, Slade." "Yeah, right." ""Hi, Lucky."" "Why did I say, "Hi, Lucky"?" "All these months, I've been thinking what I'd say, and I come out with, "Hi, Lucky."" "Don't beat yourself up." "I never know what to say to him, either." "ANNOUNCER ON RADIO:" "We interrupt this program to bring you five coverage of a high speed chase in progress." "(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)" "Hey, listen up!" "I think it's the Bandit!" "(ALL SHUSHING) According to sources, Crystal Kaye, the Tequila Gold girl, who has been in hiding, is in the lead car." "That's them all right!" "The occupants of the second car are unknown, but thought to be associated with Lucky..." "Not to us." "We've got to do something!" "What can we do?" "Plenty." "Any of you 18-wheelers get a copy on that broadcast?" "TRUCKER 1 ON RADIO:" "Got him headed north on Highway 27." "Hound Dog, this is Piano Man." "{just saw Lucky Bergstrom at Mile Marker 25." "That should put him and her somewhere about 20 miles south of us." "(ALL EXCLAIMING)" "All right, hang on, folks." "It's about another 5 miles." "What are you doing?" "I'm standing up for myself and the woman I love." "Stanley!" "Nice shot, Stanley." "Yeah." "Nice shot!" "Now it's clear." "Why don't you try and hit them, huh?" "(TIRES SCREECHING)" "BANDIT:" "Buckle up!" "Buckle up?" "Let's go, buckle up." "Come on!" "What'd you have in mind?" "BANDIT:" "Do it." "(ENGINE REVVING)" "Are you nuts?" "What?" "Oh, this is nice." "Do me a favor, will you?" "Remind me never to challenge your driving abilities again." "(LAUGHS)" "You want to follow him, boss?" "Are you crazy?" "Back out of here." "Did you see what he did?" "(CELL PHONE RINGING)" "Agent Thatcher." "MAN:" "Where the hell are you?" "Heading north on Route 23 to Leesville, sir." "I believe we have them on the run." "Have you been listening to the news, Agent Thatcher?" "Half the state is in pursuit of our suspects." "Our suspects!" "I'm aware of that, sir." "Are you also aware of the fact that they're all headed to Scruggs?" "Scruggs?" "Scruggs!" "Not Leesville." "Scruggs!" "Do you know where Scruggs is, Agent Thatcher?" "Yes, sir." "Then I suggest you go there!" "Scruggs." "Hey, man, what about checking my bus out there?" "I need a fan belt for it." "Okay." "Looking for the Hound Dog." "You got the Hound Dog, come back." "Hound Dog, I heard you needed some help." "That's affirmative." "If anybody wants to help, put Lucky Bergstrom out of business." "Baby, I got a plan." "That's a big 10-4, Hound Dog." "Yeah, Hound Dog, we've got a copy." "The action is headed toward Scruggs." "10-4, Hound Dog." "I'm on my way." "Howdy!" "I'm Bandit." "Howdy, Bandit." "Listen, we got some big time bad guys on our butt." "Do you think you could help us out?" "Yes!" "Follow us." "(SIREN WAILING)" "FEREBEE ON SPEAKER:" "Clear the streets." "Everybody off the streets." "(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)" "They just made a personal appearance at the city limits, Hound Dog." "Is everybody in place?" "Ten four." "They won't get by us this time." "Stay with him till he's all shook up." "Then we'll give him the jailhouse rock." "But remember, boys, I said don't be cruel." "Thank you, sir." "Where are they?" "You lost them." "Ah, you lost them!" "We'll find them, boss." "It's a six block town." "We'll find them." "(EXCLAIMING)" "TRUCKER 2 ON RADIO:" "We're closing the front door on Lucky now." "LUCKY:" "Back up." "TRUCKER 3:" "I got the side door closed." "TRUCKER 4:" "We got the back door up here." "LUCKY:" "Get us out of here, now." "(EXCLAIMING)" "(PEOPLE CLAMORING)" "WOMAN:" "They got them!" "They got them!" "Howdy!" "I'd say it's a lot safer in my clean, warm jail." "You guys want to come with me?" "REPORTER:" "Just one statement here, sir." "(PEOPLE CHATTERING)" "LUCKY:" "Get me out of here." "REPORTER:" "How do you feel?" "Get the police." "Get that guy's license!" "Look what they did to my car." "Oh, God!" "I'll never get it fixed." "I've only got a $100 deduction." "This is horrible!" "Get the Governor." "I want to speak to the Governor." "Let's go, Lucky." "(CLEARING THROAT) Stanley, could you excuse us?" "What do you think you'll do after you turn over the books to the authorities?" "Well, I'm not going to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder, if that's what you mean." "Stanley and Ben and I will have new names, a new address, and a new life." "Good." "Well, if anybody deserves a fresh start, it's you." "Thanks." "I'm sorry I lied to you about a couple of things." "Nothing to it." "But I wasn't lying about how I feel about you." "I never have met anyone like you." "Thank you." "And I think I can safely say the same about you." "Agent Thatcher." "Yeah." "I've got a present for you." "Crystal, this here is Agent Thatcher." "She's in your hands now." "Well, I guess my job's over." "Good luck to you, sweetie." "Thanks, Slade." "And thank you very much." "Can we hold it down, folks, just a second?" "I've got just one short little bit to do still." "Sounds rolling." "Make sure we get Tate, Ferebee and the bars if you can, all in the..." "All right." "This is Patt Noday live for Channel 22, continuing our updates from the Scruggs Police Department." "With me, Officers Tate and Ferebee, who single-handedly captured Lucky Bergstrom and at the same time returned the star witness against him, Crystal Kaye, to the FBI." "What?" "Tell the Bureau we were happy to do it." "(sum-nus)" "Slade, you just saved your company over $100,000." "How do you feel?" "Like any other day." "(LAUGHS)" "Are you really as tough as you want everyone to think you are?" "Yeah." "See you, Bandit." "You need a ride back to your car, Bandit?" "Thought you'd never ask." "Please." "(EXCLAIMING)" "BANDIT:" "You know what, Slade, I don't care what you say, you're okay." "SLADE:" "Don't let it get around, will ya?" "(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)" "Subtitles by:" "Tommy0412"