"Across Britain, girls are becoming..." "..men." "Transgender people once felt the need to hide in the shadows, but the next generation are baring their all online." "I got my first appointment..." "Two months." "Nine months. 18 months." "34 months." "They'resharingthesecrets... of how they changed their bodies..." "Can you see it?" "Yeah." "..fromfemaleto male." "We'll follow three young men who were born girls..." "It doesn't even look like the same person." "It's mental." "..for the most important year of their lives." "They'll take drastic steps, from injecting testosterone..." "It's kind of like the start of the rest of my life, and it's just in this little bottle." "..toremovingtheirbreasts..." "I'm glad that they're going to be gone soon." "..and even constructing their very own penises." "People have asked for eight, nine inches." "We're not making porn stars." "They'll leave the girls they were behind..." "I had a daughter and I lost her." "Sorry." ""You tranny." "Fucking go kill yourself."" "..to become the men they've always wanted... tobe." "I wonder how many men would go through this, natural-born guys." "A lot of people come up to you all the time and they're like," ""So you've got a dick?"" "No, I haven't got a dick, unfortunately." "I mean, it's a bit of a shame." "The goal for every trans guy is to be recognised as male." "This is significant because it's my birth name." "Born a girl, 17-year-old Alfie is in his final year at school." "This is a picture of me when I was nine years old." "Inonemonth," "Alfie will begin testosterone injections to become more manly." "The first thing trans guys think of when they think of testosterone is facial hair." "I want to go through all the different types of beards, moustaches, all that kind of stuff." "I always wanted to be male." "I always wanted to be male from a child." "I wanted to be my grandparents' grandson." "I wanted to be my parents' son." "A lot of people do think 17 is too young because it's permanent, but when you've been through 17 years worth of your life, you know that it's for keeps and you know that you need it." "Boys that are born male definitely take their testosterone for granted." "Everything they are, I want to be." "Alfie has lived as a boy for two years, and has mastered disguising the female parts of his body." "I couldn't buy, for example, a top like this." "The neckline is probably a bit too low and it looks like quite a long T-shirt, so it would go over my bum." "If it goes over my bum sometimes it shows off more of a girlie figure than I want." "We can make you anything you like." "If you've got a specific length or something you want we could just make it for you." "I do like that idea because I sometimes struggle to buy clothes that are going to fit properly." "Many natural-born men find changing sex confusing." "So you've not gone the whole way yet?" "No." "I haven't even started taking the testosterone yet." "Don't you have to wait to a certain age before you are allowed to have it because of growth or, I don't know." "Privately, you can have it from 16." "On the NHS you can have it from 18." "And then you've got to get top half surgery and stuff like that, and then obviously the bottom half surgery comes later in life, if you want it." "I know that when you're standing in a urinal, a cubicle, and you're a man, and you've got that in your hand, that's what makes you feel like a man, in my eyes, because I am a man." "I was born one." "Are you just a glorified dyke?" "Without being horrible, I'm just saying." "Yeah, no, I get it." "You must have experienced it." "It's now fashionably cool for girls to be dykes and stuff like that." "There's no way you have not experienced or seen that." "I was just curious whether someone that young knew exactly what it is they wanted to do." "Should they wait?" "Definitely." "If you're going to insult me, if you're going to sink that low to insult me because you don't accept the fact that" "I can't help this, can you fucking make it good, please?" "I think today will make it five weeks since I've been on testosterone." "Look at that." "You can..." "Oh, my God." "Look at these guns." "It's a gun show." "Hair is just everywhere." "Like, everywhere." "Look at that, man." "I think the first change is my voice." "Erm..." "It's breaking." "Hey, everyone." "My consultant told me that I will be starting testosterone hormones in February, so woo-hoo!" "Go me!" "It doesn't even look like the same person, let alone sound like the same person." "It's mental." "19-year-old university student Ethan was born a girl and named Lauren." "It's as if I had a twin sister." "I don't see that as me." "Ethan lives in Carlisle with his fiancee, Chloe, and his mum, Pat." "Looks like someone's slapped a wig on you." "That's what people have told me." "They've actually said to me, when they've looked at pictures like that, "You actually just look like a man in drag."" "And I was like, "Oh, yes."" "I actually take that as a compliment." "Cheers." "Your face as well has changed so much." "Yeah." "Ethan's been on testosterone for 16 months, but now wants to have both breasts removed in a double mastectomy." "Yeah, it's crazy." "Testosterone has transformed Ethan's face and voice, but when it comes to a convincing male bulge, transgender guys need to get creative." "A packer is sort of like a prosthetic penis." "It's just to give the illusion of a bulge in your pants." "You can get different funnel bits to put on that area so then you can stand to pee." "There we go." "It stays more or less, like, erect." "You can bend it, it can go all different ways." "It goes down to a flaccid shape." "When you first try it you're not quite sure what you're doing." "You're not sure where everything is." "Sometimes you do have accidents with them." "The funnel might move and you might end up peeing down your leg." "That's not a small packer." "No." "I think this is between a 5.5 inch and six inch." "As well as letting him pee standing up, the packer means Ethan can have sex as a man." "In some cases it's a lot harder than being in a biological male-to-female relationship." "Yeah." "But in other cases it's easier as well... ..because we kind of have the same bits." "Being transgender is different from sexual orientation, and Ethan and Chloe consider themselves a straight couple." "Being intimate for the first time was a bit strange because it's not something you can really sit there and have a full-blown conversation about." "You were probably thinking, "What am I allowed to do?"" "80% of me was wanting to keep my clothes on because of me not liking what's there, and the 20% of me wanting to keep my clothes on was because I didn't want to freak you out." "Yeah." "Sort of like seeing a man's head and on a woman's body." "See, I didn't see that though." "I know it's strange but I didn't see that." "Having already gone through female puberty," "Ethan now flattens his unwanted breasts witha painfulcompressionvest." "This is normally the hardest part in the morning when I'm half asleep." "A binder is any sort of thing that compresses your breasts." "This binder ended up bruising my ribs." "Despite his slim figure, Ethan still plans to have both breasts removed." "What is it that you see right now?" "Something that shouldn't be there." "That should have never been there." "It's not as if I'm looking at my own chest." "It's like I'm looking at someone else's chest, who happens to have the rest of my body." "I'm glad they're going to be gone soon." "I'll actually be able to look in the mirror without..." "..hating parts of my body." "Born Connie, 26-year-old Billy has already been on testosterone for three years, and recently had his breasts removed." "As an up-and-coming DJ on the Bristol scene, many of his fans have no idea he was born a girl." "Really?" "I wouldn't have thought that." "Really?" "No?" "Wow." "I'd definitely go for him on a night out." "I would fuck the shit out of him." "Afterwaitingadecade," "Billy now wants to undergo the final stage of his transition." "Phalloplasty is where you have a penis created from your vagina." "This video, the guy is going to show us how the erectile device works." "As you can see, he's about to start pumping it up using the pump, which is in his left testicle, which transfers fluid from a bottle that is inside his stomach through into the tubes that are in his penis, to make it solid." "It takes about six or seven pumps to get it fully erect." "Obviously, it's as fully functioning as it possibly can be." "So you can have sex and go for a pee standing up." "And now he's pressing the other button on the same pump to deflate it." "You need to gently squeeze your penis as well." "I can't wait." "Especially with not long to go now." "Since starting testosterone I have obviously had changes in my hair." "My hair used to be a lot thicker than this, and I've noticed from photos that it's started thinning in the back." "Yeah, you're starting to get a bit of a sunroof, slightly." "Only slightly." "Testosterone, see?" "This is part of..." "Being a man." "..the whole package." "After three years on testosterone," "Billy may have lost hair in some areas, but he's gained it in others." "When's your surgery now?" "It's on 20th June." "Do you ever at any point feel you want to talk yourself out of it?" "No, I'm a man without a penis, and that shouldn't be the way." "If I've got the option to get it, then why not?" "And how will that actually work?" "The erectile device has two straws and a pump, and afterwards there's a tiny button you press and it slowly deflates it down again, basically." "So you can have it up for as long as you want." "Wow." "I know." "There is this going to be so many guys that will be envious of you for that one, I can tell you." "Maybe this ain't going to be so hard for you after all." "Billy has always wanted to be a man, but his treatment has been a long and painful journey." "I just thought it was never going to happen." "I've spent so many years waiting already." "But someone said to me a long time ago that if I killed myself then, then I would be dying a woman, and did I want that?" "And obviously I didn't, and for me that was a really powerful thing to say, and it saved my life." "Easily." "Wow." "Wow." "In recent years, Britain's health system has seen a sevenfold increase in referrals for transgender minors like Alfie." "Today, after months of waiting, a letter's finally arrived." "I don't know what it is." "I'm praying that it's my testosterone prescription." "I've been praying for this moment for months, so..." "OK." "Oh!" "Yes." "Yes!" "After months and months and ages of waiting, it's finally, finally in my hand." "I'm so happy right now." "The prescription means he can start injecting testosterone immediately and permanently change his voice and body." "It's quite cool, everyone's like, "You've got it!"" "Yeah, it's a change in your life that's going to make you happier." "Yeah." "But the male hormone will make Alfie infertile, meaning the 17-year-old can't have kids unless he freezes his eggs." "It does mean that, it's like a point of no return with kids, you'll no longer be producing eggs and stuff like that." "I've had to decide if I want to harvest my eggs or not and I decided not to." "Because I think that..." "I don't want, one day, this kid to find out that biologically, I'm his mother or her mother." "That biologically, I will be that child's mother, cos it was my egg." "The thought processes you must have to be going through at the moment, it's crazy." "It doesn't affect me right now, but it's still, like, a life-changing thing in the future." "Definitely." "But I made my choice and I'm going to stick with it." "It's the moment Alfie has been waiting for." "His first injection." "Alfie, come on, breakfast." "As well as making him infertile, the testosterone will deepen" "Alfie's voice, put hair everywhere and make his body and face more manly." "How are you feeling today?" "I don't know, I'm excited, obviously, but I'm a bit nervous at the same time." "Cos this is the point where you can't change back again." "I'm glad you've let me be in the room for when you have your injection, cos I was there when you were born as female," "I want to be there for when they put you right." "Mm." "Good." "All right, finish up, we need to go." "Come on." "SHE LAUGHS" "Mm?" "Alfie!" "After today, Alfie will need an injection every three months." "I'm just holding your arm." "I don't want you to touch me." "Get off!" "She gets one hug maybe on her birthday." "I didn't even get one for Mother's Day." "I said you could have one if you want." "But then that sounded like you didn't want to do it." "I just don't..." "I'd like to give you a hug." "I don't want to." "This is an important day for you." "I don't think so." "Oh, go on." "No." "You've already touched my arm." "That's enough." "I'm allowed!" "That's enough." "I'm not a paedo, you know." "Mum!" "You can't say that!" "At only 17, Alfie will be one of the youngest transgender people in the UK to be injected with testosterone." "It's kind of the start of the rest of my life in this little bottle, so it's quite a weird feeling." "But I'm excited for it." "Hello, Alfie, I'm Carol, the practice nurse." "Today I'm going to give you your first injection of testosterone." "Yeah." "It's an injection that goes into your bottom, into the big muscle up here in your bottom." "Do you want to stand by the bed?" "OK, so what's this?" "That's a binder." "I can pull that up." "Yeah." "If you could just pull that right up for me." "Are you OK like that, do you want to watch?" "You're looking at me!" "Turn round a bit so your mum..." "That's better." "Are you ready?" "Yeah." "Can you feel anything going round your system?" "It's starting to hurt quite a lot." "Is it?" "I'm sorry." "We've been going one minute, so I'm just going to slowly inject the rest of this." "And you're done." "Brilliant." "That's it." "Thank you very much." "You OK?" "Yeah." "That is a weird feeling, that is." "Ohh..." "It just feels, it feels good." "It feels really good." "So, this is my chest, I'm really happy with it." "Obviously, I'd like breasts," "It looked so fucking wrong, but now it looks just so right, like the way it is." "Up this side, this nipple is my good nipple." "It's nice, it feels natural." "Hi, everyone, today I found out that I'm actually getting my top surgery on 18 June, it's so close, and I've been waiting for this surgery for about three years now and I'm so excited, I cannot wait for it," "I just thought I'd share it with yous." "19-year-old Ethan's chest surgery is in a few weeks." "So he's found a video of a similar surgical procedure performed by a different doctor in the US to show his mum." "So today we're going to do a periareolar mastectomy, with enclosure of the nipples and the areola." "So this intervening tissue, all the skin is going to be removed and I'll show that in a little bit more detail later on." "I'm going to make my incision right around here." "It's going away now." "He made the incision to go in to take stuff out." "So they've really opened it right up, haven't they?" "I've now dissected all the way, and you can see my scissors." "There is no doubt you're going to be sore, no doubt about it." "That's him sewing the skin..." "Sewing the nipple back on." "A double mastectomy is a highly invasive procedure whichcarriessignificantrisks." "What, if anything, do you think can go wrong?" "My nipples might reject from my body, because they've been cut off and put back on, they might reject, stuff like that can happen." "Have you thought about what the percentages of all this is?" "To be honest, it doesn't bother me, because I'd rather not have a nipple than have what I've got." "Born a girl, Ethan has been ashamed of his body since female puberty." "This is possibly the last time I ever took my top off outside the house or even outside my bedroom." "I'll be able to go swimming in the water, and I think it's going to feel really natural, that's the way it was always supposed to be." "Bottom surgery." "They take donor skin from somewhere else on your body and create a, you know, average-sized dick." "As a trans person, you just get asked, "Did you have the surgery?"" "I would be probably getting one about this size." "That's all right, isn't it?" "Phalloplasty has been around since the 1930s, but only one clinical team performs the procedure for the UK's entire transgender community." "Today, 26-year-old Billy is meeting his surgeon to discuss the operation." "They're all slightly different." "All male penises are slightly different, all the trans penises are slightly different as well." "Having had his mastectomy two years ago, he's hoping to finish his transition with the creation of a penis." "What do you want to do with a full-sized penis?" "Pass urine standing up, for show, or do you just want to have sex with it or all of the above?" "All of the above." "That's a common requirement." "Yeah, I bet." "OK." "We basically cut three sides of a rectangle from the lower abdomen." "The bottom end is still connected to you." "Then we fold it in to form the penis." "You are left with a big hole in your tummy." "OK." "So what we do is we move your belly button down and we rotate the skin from the hips and the side inwards to fill in the gaps." "You end up with quite a long scar." "This patient already has a testicle in." "I've got a testicle you can have a look at." "Wow." "It's a solid gel silicone testicle." "It should last you a lifetime." "OK." "Over the course of four surgeries, Dr Christopher will insert an erection pump into Billy's new penis so he can have sex as a man." "This is the new model." "All right, OK." "It's the one I like using, it's called the Titan." "Right." "If you're not using the vagina and don't want to keep it, we get rid of it for you." "What I do is use a hot electrode and burn out the skin inside the vagina." "When I think about the surgery, it's not exciting, it's terrifying." "I just try, as much as I can, to not think about it in too much detail because I'll freak out too much and if I do that, then I'll just go on a total meltdown" "and make myself ill." "With the full gravity of penis surgery finally sinking in," "Billy has returned home to Wales for support." "Surgery is a week tomorrow." "Yeah." "If I think about it too much, it's going to get really difficult, so I just try and avoid thinking about it." "Stop worrying about things that haven't happened yet or things you can't do anything about." "You just have time to stew on things, to stress about stuff, hasn't he?" "Yeah." "That was kind of the last time you looked 100% girl." "Mmm." "It will be a relief when this is all done and you've done all the surgeries and gone through all the pain and healed." "And healed, yeah." "Yeah." "You'll be altogether happier in yourself." "Not being one thing or the other, that's the bottom line, isn't it?" "As a young girl, Billy began to feel extreme discomfort with his body and started transitioning as a teenager." "I couldn't imagine him living a miserable life as a woman." "I'd rather we go through all of this and he will feel whole." "You can enjoy being who you were always meant to be." "Mm." "It's the beginning of the end." "That's all that matters." "Yeah." "But with a few remaining questions, tonight Billy is turning to the online transgender community for answers." "'How's it going?" "' Hey, are you all right?" "'Yes.'" "It's Billy's last chance to discuss what's on every young man's mind." "Sex." "'I am primarily with straight women." "'I've been with a couple of people who did not know I was trans.' Wow." "'Once it was healed, I used it and I still do." "'I have sex a lot and I can have as much sex as many 'times as I want in a day or two days, you know." "'I can have an erection that lasts way longer than anyone else.'" "Is it OK if I can see?" "'OK." "'So, I can pump it up and leave it hard for days if I wanted to.'" "Yeah, that's amazing." "That's absolutely amazing." "'It works.'" "For me, it was absolutely mind-blowing." "With less than a week to go now, I'm buzzing for it." "First thing that I notice, straightaway, is my moods." "I used to cry all the time and I can't at all now." "It has made me a bit more, like, short tempered." "I'm just full of teenage angst." "Fuck off and leave me alone." "As any parent knows, testosterone can make boys moody and impulsive." "Born a girl, 17-year-old student, Alfie has only been on it for a week and has already got his first tattoo." "Let's have a look, then." "It looks really, really nice." "Is it going to cover a short-sleeved shirt though?" "I don't think it is, is it?" "No, it'll be showing on a short-sleeved shirt." "When my biceps grow he said it will start stretching if it's any higher." "I wish it had been higher up." "It can't be any higher up." "Well, as in smaller." "I asked for it a bit bigger." "It's there now." "There's no going back." "No, I know that now, yes." "Look... with that T-shirt on, it's only barely noticeable." "That's if you're looking." "Yes, I'm just thinking about a job in the future if he is..." "You think I look good in short-sleeve shirts, Mum?" "..going to be wearing a short-sleeved shirt..." "You can't, you can't see it." "..as part of a uniform or something like that." "It's going to show, isn't it?" "With his all-important A-levels looming just around the corner, now is a crucial time for Alfie." "I think you need to always cover it up at school..." "Yeah, maybe." "..out of respect." "Yeah, maybe." "Cos that is disrespectful, isn't it?" "To, to just..." "Yeah, maybe. ..go around with a tattoo showing." "Yeah, but I'm not going around with a tattoo showing." "Well, you're going to show it off in an exam room." "Well, that's not good." "Not show it off." "They wouldn't chuck me out over it, because it's not..." "It's not like I've got one right there." "But it's disrespectful to be walking in there knowing that it's going to show." "Have you got some homework to do?" "Yeah." "I think you'd better go and do it." "Mmm-hmm." "Fun times." "Cathy is concerned that becoming a man is distracting" "Alfiefromhisstudies." "All right, come on." "What?" "Where's all your homework, come on." "Pass my laptop." "No." "I don't want to sit in the chair." "Now!" "I know he's excited about the testosterone and...and everything else but I do wish he would work a little" "bit harder at school." "I know he can do a lot better." "That isn't your homework, is it?" "I'll be back in five minutes." "OK." "Just put in that bag what you're taking to the hospital in the morning." "Right." "In Manchester, 19-year-old Ethan will tomorrow have both breasts removed." "Are you getting nervous about tomorrow?" "I'm not nervous about it." "I'm just literally excited." "What was all that pacing about the living room?" "That was just me wanting, that was because I'd been up all night and I just literally wanted to leave the house and I wanted to get in the car." "He's starting to get nervous." "He says he isn't, but he is." "If the operation is a success, Ethan can finally hang up his painful binder and be comfortable in his body." "Just being able to take my top off, being able to go swimming." "It'll just be the way that it should have always been to begin with." "I've not slept." "It's the morning of Ethan's big operation." "Hey." "Shotgun!" "No, you can't be in the front." "You can't be in the front." "What gives you special authorities?" "I'm having surgery." "Are you buzzing?" "You're buzzing!" "Are you buzzing?" "Buzzing." "I'll see if I can get another video whilst I'm in the hospital." "Bye." "I'm buzzing." "I actually can't..." "It's going to be great." "Well, for the last time, until you see me after surgeries." "Do you want to say byes." "Bye." "Bye." "Bye." "Hey, everyone." "So, that's me... just woke up from my surgery." "Handsome." "Yeah." "Check that out." "In a month, Ethan will find out if the operation has been a success." "Meanwhile, outside London, 26-year-old Billy is about to begin the first of four procedures to turn his stomach into his penis." "OK?" "Uh-huh." "Billy and his surgeon have decided to allow the surgery to be filmed to show the lengths some transgender people go through." "Are you getting a headache?" "No." "Just, no." "I just need to not think about it right now." "This is quite a life-changing experience because patients come in with nothing and they wake up with a penis." "Patients' expectations aren't quite the same as what we can deliver." "If you're expecting us to make a completely normal-looking penis, that's not going to happen." "I think Billy has realistic expectations." "It won't be a normal, normal penis, but it'll be functionally normal." "After such a long time thinking that this day will never come, for me it's..." "Yeah, it's incredibly overwhelming." "But for me to be happy, this isn't a choice." "I have to go through this." "Now we're just going to mark out the flap." "So the width is going to be 12 centimetres." "We'll take an extra two, try and give him a bit of extra length." "When we make it, we'll actually fold it in like that." "That will form the penis." "It's scary." "He could bleed out, he could get brain damage." "All sorts..." "he could die on the table." "He's my flesh and blood, but I can't do anything." "It's just...cross everything and pray that, you know... he's going to be OK." "That it's going to be OK." "I've got to believe it's going to be OK or I'd just fall apart." "I love reconstruction." "You know, you're always making something new." "If you make it too long, what happens...the tip falls off." "The tip dies." "Halfway through the six-hour procedure," "Dr Christopher has now finished constructing the shaft." "Long-term testosterone use can increase the risk of ovarian cancer in transgender men." "As a precaution, Dr Christopher will also remove Billy's uterus andovaries." "Cervix." "So, what we have here is the uterus, the cervix with the opening in the middle." "I've put the forceps in there." "You've got both ovaries with the fallopian tubes, that's this bit here." "Ovary, fallopian tube." "So, all the internal female bits are now out." "We can't leave him with this open." "It looks terrible." "Other people are quite curious to know" ""What can it do?" I say, "Everything."" "You can have sex, you can pee." "And it doesn't look completely real but it looks reasonable." "On a dark night all the cats look alike, so nobody can tell the difference." "So, let's put some staples in." "I'll start in the middle here." "I don't know what patients tell their partners." "They may say they've been in an accident or something." "There are plenty of satisfied customers." "So, in the collapsed state it's about..." "I don't know, three-and-a-half, four inches, something like that, but when it stretches out, it's nearly five inches." "People have asked for eight, nine inches and that's impractical." "We're not making porn stars." "OK, let's have some clean-up." "Over the next two years, Billy will have three more operations to insert an erectile pump and to have his vagina sealed shut." "This is something else." "This is pain like you've never felt it before." "It hurts to breathe." "Wouldyougo throughthisagain?" "No." "If it fell off tomorrow I would leave it at that." "I wonder how many men would go through this...natural-born guys." "Because I don't think they would." "Born a girl, 17-year-old student Alfie has just started testosterone." "But Alfie's mum, Cathy, has found it hard to let go of her daughter." "It's like a bereavement because you are losing the child that you've had for 16 years, as I had." "When people talk about their daughters sometimes I think," ""Yeah, I had a daughter and I lost her."" "Erm..." "But..." "Sorry." "He said to me one time that if he can't make that transition it's not worth him living." "And I don't want that at all." "For Alfie the changes can't come fast enough." "Today is day one." "Three weeks on testosterone." "Week six." "There are loads of little quite long hairs actually." "My leg hairs are starting to get a little bit darker." "I'm finally going to shave off the little bits of facial hair that I actually have." "It is growing a lot quicker than I expected, which is cool." "Good stuff." "After five months on testosterone Alfie is a new man." "Everything that I put into my transition, especially in the past year was definitely going to impact the grades on this paper because it meant that all my focus was on something else." "Today he'll find out whether his decision to start testosterone at 17 has cost him his final exams." "It's kind of scary because I've worked so hard but I still don't know if I've got the grades or not." "Oh!" "Oh, my God." "That's amazing." "I got three Cs." "I got a C in everything which is even better than I wanted." "That is so good." "PHONE RINGS" "'Hello.' Hiya. 'How did you get on?" "' I got a C in everything." "'Oh, brilliant!" "Oh, well done.' Cheers. 'Big pat on the back.'" "Alfie is only at the start of his transition but he's already feeling more secure in his manhood." "I'm so much more of a man than I ever thought I would be at 18." "From when I was younger I never thought I'd be like this." "These people that think I'm too young to do this kind of thing and think I haven't made the right choice and think that it's wrong because it's against certain things," "I would seriously tell them that I don't give a shit." "I really don't give two shits about what they have to say." "You know, they can go and fuck off and live their own lives for all I care." "You know, I don't care." "Today 19-year-old Ethan will see the results of his double mastectomy." "Today is the day I get my dressings off and I finally get to see what my full chest looks like." "It's just going to be awesome." "I'm really looking forward to it." "I just hope there's nothing wrong with it." "After six weeks of recuperation Ethan will now discover whether his nipples have survived." "I know it's a nervous time for you when your dressings come off." "We get nervous as well because we do everybody the same, we try to get everything right, but you never know until you get the stuff off." "Mm." "Oh." "Do you want to pop them in there?" "Have we got a little..." "Alcowipes?" "OK." "And a pair of scissors." "Put it in there and I'll get rid of it for you." "You're all right." "Don't!" "Oh, my goodness me." "We tell people bad news, they weep all over the clinic." "We do decent things, they weep all over the clinic." "Hang on, let's get you something to blow your nose on." "Oh, God." "Is that just relief?" "Yeah." "Go on." "INDISTINCT" "Right, let me just give you a bit of a wash and brush up." "Oh, my God." "What are you like?" "Yeah, that's fine." "Now is that roughly what you thought it was going to be like?" "Better." "Much better." "It's smashing." "It looks good." "Smashing." "Today is Ethan's 20th birthday and he's decided to celebrate." "It's the first time in a decade that he's gone topless in public." "I'm so happy." "It's my blood." "I just can't stop looking at myself in the mirror." "Before I had my surgery the mirror was my enemy." "And now it's like my best pal." "It feels great." "It's a very pleasant change." "That was good fun, that." "'Since surgery he's been a lot more happy." "He's been more comfortable.'" "He's having a ball." "THEY LAUGH" "Today was great fun." "I just want to show it off to everyone." "I don't feel like I'll ever stop transitioning." "The journey is never really over." "The next step is probably getting lower surgery." "Hopefully that won't take too long." "So..." "Yeah." "It's been one month since 26-year-old Billy's phalloplasty." "Today he's giving Dr Christopher a first look at his handiwork." "So shall we have a look at the main event then?" "OK." "Probably the best position is if I have a look at you standing up." "Mm hm." "If I can bring you round towards the couch there." "If you just loosen your trousers and let's have a look." "Perhaps the side view would be the best." "If you come this way." "That's pretty good." "It's hanging downwards already." "Fantastic." "This skin here used to be here." "Right." "It was like that." "Right." "I was wondering." "Yeah." "That's cool." "OK." "So tell me about the sensation you have." "What do you have and what's missing?" "I can feel all the way to back here." "But nothing on this side at all." "So you've got it right up to here?" "Yeah, right up to about here." "That's really good actually." "I was only expecting to get it to here." "No, I can feel that." "I can feel there." "So you've got extra on this side and less on the other." "Yeah." "It's just much easier now." "Everything is much easier." "Billy has three more operations to come which include inserting prosthetic testicles and an erection pump but he's already feeling the benefits." "I'm only on stage one." "I've still got a long way to go but it makes all the difference now not having to wear a packer." "It's all yours." "Yeah, it is, yeah." "It's not made in China or something like that." "No, no, no." "It's pretty incredible." "It's amazing actually." "But I'm just excited to get on with it and you know..." "Well, you've taken the first step on the journey." "Yeah..." "It won't be too long before it's all over." "Yeah." "For many transgender people surgery and hormones can stop the pain of being born in the wrong body." "But treatment is still for the lucky few." "And this overlooked community has been plagued by suicide anddepression." "By bravely showing off their new lives to the world, the next transgender generation are refusing to be ignored." "Connie to me was the little girl that my parents brought up." "It's just bizarre to think that that was ever me and I was ever Connie." "If I had continued to live as a woman I would probably..." "I just wouldn't be here." "I needed to go through this surgery to feel complete." "To me, it's the end of using accessories to be who I am and I can just be me now in my own skin." "It did give me happiness at one time but it's not real." "It never was." "What I've got now is." "I'd do it over and over again." "To feel the happiness that" "I feel now is just so incredibly worth it." "All the pain that I've been through and all the waiting that" "I've done, and just everything." "All the depression and the sad days and everything, I just..." "I just would never have thought I'd be this happy." "It's just absolutely unbelievable." "We meet transgender kids as they approach puberty at a controversial camp in the US for girls that were born boys." "At camp, life is so different." "It's so much better." "It's like, "I guess you're transgender, so we can be besties."" "It's a place without judgment where their parents are forced to take action." "How do you make these kinds of decisions for a 12-year-old kid?" "This is her body." "This is her life." "SubtitlesbyEricsson"