"Presents" "HOITY TOITY HOMOLKA" "Script:" "Cast:" "Others:" "Music:" "Director:" "Dad!" "Wherere you from?" "From Prague." "Wheres that innkeeper, damn it?" "Ive got a daughter in Prague." "Her names Homolkova." "Do you know her?" "O... what a question." "You the fourth person to ask such a question." "I ask you." "Prague has one million and hundred thousand inhabitants, hasnt it?" "So how can I know one million and hundred thousand people?" "Damn it, wheres that innkeeper?" "Hes supposed to be here, isnt he?" "Dont you know where he is?" "Dont get wrong the idea." "Im a gamekeeper." " Well, so what?" "Hurrah, here they come!" "Hurrah, here they come!" "Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah, hurrah!" "Dad..." " Well..." "Oh, Ludva, let me get near it..." "Sit down, Grannie." "From the other side, eh?" "Thats right." "Well, well, dont shit your pants because of that car." "How is it the foams gone, grandfather, and yet you havent touched it yet?" "Well, there you are, you see..." "Whats the matter with you?" "Do you know whats occurred to me, Venda?" " No." "Well..." "I dont think III lost to the autumn." "I think Im going to die." "For heavens sake, man, theres nothing wrong with you." "Why should you want to die?" "I dont want to." "Do you think I want to?" "But can you help it if you die?" "You cant help anything." "Here, III foam it for you." "Wait, Venousek, let the foam wait, see?" "Why?" "Ive got a goat near the mill, see?" "And those people from Prague are there, those boys, and they might..." "Its a different cup of tea if one drives right here on ones behind." "Come on... carefully, there." "I cant remember when I was here last." "In that car ones here in a moment." "Right?" "And how those distances change, eh?" "I tell you, were just starting to live." "Isnt it fine!" "Damn it, its really fine." "I tell you, like this, with this car, its a fairy-tale." "Its a piece of cake." "I must be off." " Why?" "Why?" "Because I want to dance like mad." "How much would that one cost?" " That one?" "A hundred and fifty." "And that one?" " That one - two hundred and fifty." "And that one down there?" " Two hundred." "And that one?" " Three hundred." "Come along, off we go!" "Theres not enough room for me to yet out." " Yes, there is." "Reverse a little and III get out." "For heavens sake, man, its tight." " Hm, tight..." "Sure." " See?" "You must..." "look, your bags caught..." "its calculated." "See?" "Its exact..." "Youre a giraffe, arent you?" "And that one down there?" " That one?" "Yes." " A hundred and fifty." "And that little one?" " Its not so small." "That ones bigger." "Two hundred and fifty." " The one below it, you men?" "And that black one?" " Two hundred." "And that one down there?" " For heavens sake, come on!" "You wont buy anything anyway, so at least lets go for a drive, damn it!" "Sure." "Well push off somewhere, eh?" " Well, Hedus..." "Im all for it." " But where?" "Wait a moment, wait a moment." "Im just going to stretch my leg, see?" "Well, and where shall we got?" "Where?" "Its not important now were mobile." "Well, what about the airport?" " Yes, lets go." "To the airport!" "Yes, lets go to the airport." "Thats how I imagine life." "I tell you, were hoity toity family now." "Goat!" "Goat!" "Goat, where are you, you devil?" "Well, grandfather, nothing?" "A fine standard." "Damn it, man!" "I cant get in." "Jesus, leave the doors alone and get through the window." "After all, youre thin and can get in easily." "Sure he can." " A new car" " I ask you!" "I could get in there." "Look here, youre not going to get in anywhere." "Run along home." "Cheeky, eh?" "Carefully." "Dont knock it about like that." "You know its new." "Hm, that..." "Dont take any notice of that car." "Scratch it for him the fool." "Im not talking about his, Im talking about ours." "Well..." " Its like getting in a tank..." "Stupid fool, parking it here... have you ever seen anything like it in your life... parking car like that..." "And whats wrong with it?" " The fool." "I just dont know..." "You can see that we cant get into our car." " There, I told you so." "Go on, its parked exactly..." "To a millimetre." "What?" "Is that your car?" " And what about it?" "Dont mind my saying so, but youre a fool!" " Wait, mind what youre saying, sir!" "Mind what Im saying!" "I cant mind what I say to you if youre a fool..." "You think you can buy a new car and..." "Look here, sir, get away from that car or... what... sorry..." "Well..." "So you want to seduce me, do you?" "Come here, my girl, come here." "But you didnt let on." "You didnt let on." "There - now Ive got you... damn it, girl, you dont want do die." "Neither do I. Lifes good even if its not worth a bit of shit." "Dad!" "Goat!" "Goat!" "Meee." "Goat!" " Meee." "Goat!" " Meee." "Meee." "Goat!" "Meee." "Goat!" " Meee." "Where are you, goat?" " Meee." "Goat!" " Meee." "For heavens sake, what on earth are you doing?" "I worry myself to death at home and here he is, splashing about all over the place." "Wheres the goat?" "Here!" "Meee!" " Shut your mouth, you fool!" "Where is she?" "Come out of there, youll get rheumatism!" " So what?" "Im going to die anyway!" "Dont start thinking things up!" "I dont want any of your wilfulness." "Take the goat and come out!" "And lets go!" "Aaaa..." "God heavens, Dad, whats got into to you?" "Its as though youd lost your mind." "Where are you going?" "I said, where are you going?" "There, Dad, and thats as far as III let you go as God is my witness." "Then dont keep asking me where..." "...where the goat is." "Im a gamekeeper." "I had other game in my charge and I looked after it all!" "Yes, we know, we know, but that was twenty years ago." "Now you cant even look after a goat." "Look here, write to Prague and tell them I shant last out till the autumn." "On Sunday well set out again!" "Ludva!" "What!" "I said that on Sunday well set out again." " Sure." "Where to?" "Thats surely no problem now were mobile." "Look, we could go to Karlstejn Castle, couldnt we?" "Or Konopiste." "To Teplice, to watch Sparta!" " Sure." "Granddad, surely you dont want us to go with you to watch a football match." "You have funny ideas!" "No, not you." "Ludva and III go alone." " Sure." "Stop your sure." "Well all go to Karlstejn!" "No, to Konopiste!" " All of us, then, but to watch Sparta." "Ha... you make me laugh." "Whats wrong, Dad?" " Nothing, go to sleep!" "And why are you getting dressed?" "Its still night." "Where are you going?" "For heavens sake..." "Come and lie down, Dad." "Its still night." "But itll be morning." " Where do you want to go?" "For Gods sake, what are you doing?" " Let me be!" "Let me be!" "Look, let me be." "Dont tug at me and let me be!" "What... what... come... come..." " Let me be!" "Whos the gamekeeper here?" "Jenik!" "Jenik!" "Get up!" "Dads up to something again!" "Good Lord, perhaps hes with Anca, the boor." "Come, girl, come." "Dear Lord, where am I to look for him now, the old fool." "Bang!" "Hm, used to be, Tonda, used to be." "Dad!" "God bless you, Dad!" "What are you climbing to such a height for?" "Good Lord, do you want to Kill yourself or catch cold?" "How do you think you are going to get down?" "After all, youre no longer a gamekeeper!" "In such cold and at such a height..." "do you want to die?" "Ive already told you I shant last out till the autumn." "And thats the truth." " For the love of God, Dad!" "Im going to die." " Dont blaspheme like that." "God will punish you." "And come down at once!" "Write to Prague and tell them that I shant last out till the autumn!" "Lets chase each other, Mata!" "God, I cant feel my legs." "Youll have to get used to it now." "Of course he will." "Its a long way here even by car, you know." "Look, theyre playing football here." " What?" "Theyre playing football here." "Shall we go?" "Look, I was looking forward to Sparta like a child and... but an old man on his death bed, so well just have to accept it." "Got you!" " And Ive got you!" "Im not going to play catch." "But well give up this Sunday to him, see?" "Well say goodbye to the old man and at least have a clean conscience." "At his age no ones ripe for life, you know." "And anyway, what does he get out of life?" "Nothing." "But look here, we wont weep over him." "Jokes are more in place, some kind of fun to cheer him up." "Look, everyone has more than enough sorrow, but very little fun, damn it." "Im for some fun." "If we take the trouble to come here, let there be some sense in it." "Dont ask your great-grandfather when hes going to die." "That wouldnt be nice." "Did you hear, Grannie, boys?" "And what shall we ask him?" "Look here, itll be better if you dont ask him anything at all, see?" "Dont ask him anything and come along." "Good Lord..." " Whats up?" "We havent brought the old chap anything." "Hm, thats just great." "Well, its too late now." "You should have thought of it earlier." "Im supposed to think of everything." "What did you think of?" "Nothing!" "Granddad thought a great deal." " So granddad thought!" "Damn it, I did think, but you dont appreciate it." "Well, come on." "After all..." "well bring him pleasure." "So what?" "Come along, lets be going." " Come, boys." "Damn it, have they locked the gate or what?" " Thats strange." "Locking the gate!" "Mother!" " Grannie!" "Uncle!" " Dad!" "Uncle!" "Granddad!" "Well, its really very strange." " Look, III climb over the gate..." "Be careful..." " And at least well see where we are." "Were not going to just stand here like idiots!" "Keep that hand out of the way!" "Well, uncles building something or other." "The house is locked too." "Theyre at the hospital." "I can feel it." "Theyre at the hospital." "And they must have been in a hurry." "Well, its possible." "Where else could they be?" "Damn it." "Theyll be at the hospital, Ludva." "Well, now nice to see you." "Well, Mum, whereve you been?" "I thought you were at the hospital." "Go on with you, at the hospital." "We were at the church looking at..." "I flew after you, but youd gone already." "Good gracious." "And wheres Dad?" "Dont talk to me about him." " Why not?" "Where is he?" "In the forest." "What?" "In the forest?" "Why?" " Yes, in the forest." "Whats he doing in the forest?" " Did great-granddad go there to die?" "Its an old truth, Francek." "Its an old truth." "When something leaves the body, delight for everybody..." "Yes, its bliss, Granddad, its bliss." "Damn it, Granddad..." " What?" "Youre a fine chap still." " I used to be, Francek, I used to be." "And now..." "I probably shant lost out to the autumn." "Rubbish, Granddad, rubbish." "Its not rubbish, Francek." "You said the some thing last year." " I feel it." "Well, you must fight against it." " I do fight, Francek." "If I didnt fight Id go with the old woman to church and... or lie in bed - and then I wouldnt be here with you." "Thats fine." "Bang that thing properly." "Whats he gone to look at?" "At the dogs..." "hes with Francek Petrlik." "He still thinks hes the gamekeeper." "Unlock itself yourself, Mara." "So theres nothing wrong with Granddad after all!" "Like last year." "He got up from his bed and went off." "He doesnt even look after the goat now." "Well, Mum, thats that." "You wrote and told us." "I know very well what I wrote you." "Whats worse is that I dont know what to give you to eat." "We didnt expect you." "Were not hungry, but how come you werent expecting us?" "My dear girl, you havent visited us the whole year." "Well, thats something else." "But when you wrote and told us that Dad was dying we came last year too, didnt we?" "Come boys." " A trains coming, Mummy!" "Well, its happened and thats that." "Come." "Wait here." "Ill clean up a bit in there." "Why should you clean up." "Wait, III help you." "No, no, no." "Im used to doing everything myself now." "I cant rely on your great-grandfather at all." "Imagine, he doesnt even look after the goat now." "Didnt anyone wave to us?" "Perhaps he really wont last out till the autumn." "Waved." "Didnt wave..." "So great-grandfathers as fit as fiddle." "As fit as a fiddle..." "Its not yet certain whether hes as fit a fiddle." "Look here... fiddle or no fiddle, we hurry here like mad to... to make the old man happy only to find him chasing round the woods." "Dachshunds on the right!" "On the right dachshund!" "Whatve you got, Wasserman?" "A dachshund surely!" "Well, then..." "Look, Petrlik, stop shouting and get a move on, see?" "David!" "David!" "David!" "Im bored with it, David." "Just a moment, just a moment, bang!" " There, there." "Hello there, Tonda!" "Hello!" "Hello, Vaclav." "Come on, come on!" "Come on, old man." "Damn it, Francek, I like this." "I really like it." "Last year he was at least in bed." "Theyre not bricks." " I know theyre not bricks..." "Here, try these to pass the time away." "I havent tried them yet, but theyre supposed to be sweet." "Here you are." "Go on, take them." "Theyre sourish." "Not sour just sourish." "Its lemon." "Some people dont even say thank you." "What a world." "Lets go home." "The old mans not going to make fun of us every year." "Every year, every year!" "Whatd you mean?" "Its only the second time weve come here because of poor old Dad." "And only the first time weve all come." "Look, its a real goat." "Sure, its the one great-grandfather doesnt look after." "Goats butt." "Meeeeee, goat." "I bet you darent stroke it." "Yes I will." "You wont." " I will." "There, now you can come in." "Come along, guests, come along." "Try some too." " Oh leave me alone, for heavens sake." "Were glad to be in the country and he does nothing but growl." "You shouldve seen how he carried on last year." "The old man laughed." "You shouldve seen him when I twisted my foot." "What on earth are you saying?" "Poor old Dad didnt laugh at you at all." "How can you say..." "say things like that?" "Look, he laughed his head off, see?" "And III remember it to my dying day." " Youll imagining things." "Oh!" "Oh!" "Mummy!" "Mummy!" "What on earth are you doing in that sty?" "What are you doing in that sty?" "What are you staring like that for?" "What are you doing in that sty?" "Come along in, guests." "Do you want it to poke your eye out?" "Just look what could happen to you." "Just look." "Show me." "Are you hurt?" " What on earth are you up to?" "Go into the kitchen right away, all of you." "Come." "Dont pull him." " Dont pull him!" "Good grief." "Have you any idea what couldve happened to him?" " Just look at all the grub." "Just let her out of your sight and..." " But it didnt poke me in the eye." "Stop talking if you dont mind!" "Prague folk - theyd be capable of murdering you." "They give one a headache." "Come, goat, come." "Wipe it on the grass." "The things you get up to, boys." "Come here." "Ill give you that cap." "Now great-grandmotherll be angry." "Give the old girl the sweets and lets go home." "For heavens sake, we cant go home now." " I feel that thingsll turn out badly." "What are you standing around like this for?" "Ive cleaned up." "Go on." "Come in, come in, come in." "Come in and sit down." "Good-day." " Good-day." "Good-day." " Good-day." "Sit down." " Good-day." "Come and sit down, Hedus." " No, you sit down." "Ill stand." "But Im at home." " Come, sit down." "Im at home, but youre guests." "Sit down, Homolka." "No." "You sit down, Hedus." "No, my legs are still young." "Ill stand." "You sit down." "For heavens sake..." "Well, well, sit down here..." "Ive had enough of sitting in the car." "And well be leaving in a moment anyway." "Why should you be going home?" "You havent been here for a whole year." "Come, come, come, come!" "Sit down here." "Well, well, letting himself be persuaded like that!" "Come and sit down, Mum." " Sit down, Hedus." "No." "Let Hedus and the boys sit down." "Well, III sit down then." "But I dont mind standing." "Sit down." " For a moment at least." "Heres another stool." "Come, sit down." "Sit down, Dad." "Let the boys sit down." "Ive had enough of sitting." "We dont want to sit down." " Come, boys, come." "Didnt you hear?" "Go and sit down." "Come, come." "There, there, sit down nicely." "There, soldier, there..." "Now tell me something." "Take those caps off, boys." " You shouldnt need telling." "Such big boys and they keep their caps on indoors." "Well, there, there, well..." "Well, and now tell me something." "Just a minute, Dad." "Ludva, shut the door." " Why?" "Come here, come inside and shut the door." "It gets on my nerve." "Whats new!" "Tell me." "Whats new..." "You tell us something, Mum." "Me?" "I dont know anything to tell you." "But youre from Prague." "You tell me something." "From Prague." "Tell us whats wrong with poor old Dad." "With poor old dad..." "Its all very strange." "Imagine, he doesnt even look after the goat." "Wherere you going, Homolka?" " For a smoke." "Stay here and tell me something." "Smoking can wait." "Were going to talk." "Were going to talk and you want to have a smoke." "Hes right, Homolka." "You can have a smoke later on." "Lets talk now." "What about your foot?" "Believe me, Homolka, the old man hasnt laughed so much since it happened." "Please, Mum..." " I can believe that." "Just tell Marenka." "He really laughed." "Please, Mum, dont talk about it." "Dont talk about it." "Poor old Dad didnt laugh at all." "But I still remember it today." "There you are." "Thats our Marenka for you." "What have I done?" "What have I done?" "I tell you that Dad didnt laugh." "Didnt laugh!" "I..." "Look, youve got some witnesses right in front of you." "Well, I repeat, he didnt laugh." " Well, and we say he did." "Oh stop it, for goodness sake." "I cant help it, Marenka." "If he laughed, then he laughed." "After all, thats something rare for an old person." "He didnt laugh." "He roared like mad, I tell you." "Ha ha ha ha." "Well, what did he roar at?" "My pain." "What do you think youre doing?" "You mean that my father laughs like that?" "My father doesnt laugh like that at all." "If youd seen how he laughed, you couldnt make that noise." "Dad only laughs ha ha ha and thats all." "He doesnt roar..." "Dad... be quiet." "How does Dad laugh, Hedus?" "Tell her." "Dad... that I saw him once and he laughed from... from ear to ear." "What can you say the matter if you saw his only once?" "Ive never seen him laugh." " He definitely doesnt laugh like that." "Youve seen him, youve seen how he..." "well, show us once again." "He laughed like mad, I tell you." " Show us, go on..." "Ha ha ha ha..." " Well, thats wonderful..." "I could see the back of his throat." " Be quiet, for heavens sake." "Youll be saying he laughed Ho ho ho in a minute." "Be quiet." "So you think Im mad." "Well, when I looked at him" "I could see his tonsils." "You laugh like that and not Dad." "I could..." "I could almost see his stomach." "Oh for heavens sake be quiet!" "Friends of hunting and cynology." "A train!" "A train!" "Damn the old man too!" "Dont be so wicked, Dad." "Youre nearer your deathbed than any of us and yet you work yourself up the most." "Well, just because Im the nearest to death I regret every ruined Sunday and this Sunday is really ruined, see?" "I couldve been in Teplice - at the Sparta match - and Ludva too." "You wouldnt have been in any Teplice!" "I could cry like a child when I think of it." "I tell you that you wouldnt have been in any Teplice." "Well, then, where would I have been?" " At Karlstejn!" "Weve already been to Karlstejn, Mum." "Wed have gone to Konopiste." "Of course, we would." "We should have gone to Teplice and not to..." "Well, all right - youd have gone to Teplice, but not in our car." "What do you mean, not in our car?" "Wed have gone in our car." "What do you mean, your car?" "Its our car, isnt it?" "I know." "I worked like an ox for it, didnt I?" "Well, and we, we..." "Do you mean to say we didnt?" "Look, my arms are stretched like a gorillas." "And I just laze around all day, dont I." " And I laze around?" "I dont do anything, is that it?" " You dont think you work as hard as we do?" "Sure I do." "Im the first to get up and and the last to go to bed." "You know that." "Nine hours a day..." " Cooking, mending, washing..." "Id do it with my left..." "left foot." " Why dont you then?" "You should be ashamed, Ludva!" "Look, have a go at driving." "Go where you like." "Well, I..." "Hedus can learn to drive." "Do you think shes not capable of it?" "Look, shut up, will you?" "I was so pleased with the car, and now were quarrelling." "Shut up!" " You shut up!" "We must have a talk." "With whom should one talk if not with ones own family?" "Another trains just gone by!" " Come here, come here, come here!" "Youre always chasing about somewhere." " Come and sit down." "Wherere you going?" " Guess." "Sit down." "You neednt always be chasing somewhere either." "At least you can see the car." "Peopleve got cars around here." "If all three of you had worked on the co-operative farm here youd have had a car years ago." "Take Francek Pertlik, for example." "Hes got a car too and what did they have?" "Not a rag to their name." "Dont pick your nose, Peta!" " And what am I supposed to do?" "Do as youre told." "By the way, Mum, whats that Lojza Malecek doing?" "He died at a football match, just imagine." " Good heavens..." "And he had a car too." " Really?" "Yes, and now his girl Eva drives it." "The women of today..." "I know they dont even know to pray." "We pray for great-grandfather." "Do you want to see us?" "Well, you know that..." " Well, you know I would." "Give us a crown and well show you." "Its like this - if you want to make the old man happy before he dies..." "Perhaps he is happy." " Him, him, us, me!" "I gave up my greatest happiness." "I couldve gone to watch Sparta at Teplice." "You too." "Wishful thinking!" "You shouldve said Karlstejn or Konopiste." "Then tell me, for Gods sake, what goods the car?" "My guardian angel, look after our great-grandfather soul, look after it during the day and during..." " Loudly." "...protect if from harm and evil powers." "Look after his soul and body..." "Come, boys, what are doing with those crowns?" "Once more, boys." "That was only worth fifty hellers." "I tell you, if someone were following us hed have fine laugh over us." "Damn the old man." "...take care of my soul..." " Great-grandfathers, boys." "...take care of it great-grandfathers soul..." " Thats right take care of it during the day and during the night..." " Slowly." "...take care of his body and soul, little angel, my guardian." "Little angel..." "Great-grandfathers guardian angel would be better, wouldnt ...great-grandfathers guardian angel." " Thats fine now." "He needs it like gold." "I now pronounce our meeting open and three cheers for hunting cynology!" "Hurrah!" "Fine, chaps, fine... fine, but the end couldve been better, the end, you know." "David!" "David!" "I warn you, Im bored with it." "Franta, Frantisek, Frantisek, Franta!" "Hello, Frantisek, hello!" "Hello, Tonik." "So youre still alive?" "Till the autumn, Frantisek." " You said that last year." "Hadnt they got bottled beer?" " No and I left a deposit on that jug." "I brought three quarters of a kilo of salami." "Thats right." "At least well be able to give poor old Dad some." "Why do you keep calling him poor?" "Here, let me get up an appetite." "Whatre you doing, you fool?" "!" "Youre left-handed at everything too." "My eyesre full of it!" "I couldnt help it." "Look, Ive splashed myself too." "Sure you have, but I..." "Ill stink like a barrel, man!" "Was it necessary to drink it so quickly?" " Well, I wanted to get up an appetite." "Well, youve done so." "Just take a look at yourself." "Even your bums all wet." "That needs hot water." "Lets go back." "It looks as though well never reach poor old Dad." "Look, Tonda, you must do some proper work." "He who doesnt work shouldnt sing." " But I dont feel like singing, damn it!" "Sure you dont, pulling that goat." "Two thousand pheasants." " On that area?" "Its impossible." "Hunting Latin, thats what it is." "Dont talk rubbish." "True, I wasnt there, but..." "Youve never seen so many pheasants." "Cheers, Frantik." "Were fit and well, Tonik, but youve no joy in living." "I can reach... damn it, a brick..." "Do you know what, Tonda?" " No." "Hello, hello!" " Good-day." "You here too, old man?" "You must admit today, Tonda, that lifes beautiful." "Dont you know where toilet is, Peta?" " No." "Its that little house over there - where I went." "That?" " Yes." "Go on, be off with you!" "Come here, Mata." "You havent seen this yet!" " What?" "Come here." "Youll be surprised!" "Ooooh!" " Ooooh!" "Well, and what about it?" "Has it faded a bit?" "Does it still smell?" " I can smell it even here." "Show me..." "The canvas probably stretched it." "...there I was, sitting with my clothes off and the old man came out of the wood and said" "I was supposed to look like an orang-utan." "Oh!" "Faugh!" "And your grandmother was sitting next to me, see." "We werent married yet, and since then shes always found something wrong with me." "Until then Id been perfect, but since then..." "It still smells..." " Well, it takes well." "Marena, add some sweetness to your life." " No thanks." "Not for me." "It wouldnt help." "Id need a ton." "Suck some yourself." "I am sucking." "Well give them to the young folk." "Here..." "Thank you." "And... what about Jenik?" " Hes probably going to get married." "I had to shave my chest until she married me." "But then I didnt bother, see?" "But I had to do other stupid things instead." "So de facto you shave your chest even now." "Yes, but with a blunt razor blade, see?" "With a blunt razor blade." "Anca Klapouchova from Lhota." "You dont know her." "Well, she not fifty yet, a fine looking woman." "Just a chicken." " A chicken?" "A youngster." "Yes, thats it a youngster." "Jeniks having lung with them today and thats why Im not cooking, see?" "Dont keep apologizing, Mum." " I feel bad about it, Marena." "But Im worried about Anca." " Why?" "Im afraid shell chase Jenik too much." "Well, shes a sensual creature." " Really?" "Even now his trousers are falling down." "But thats just what Jenik needed." "Go on with you." "Lifes no bed of roses with such a person." "I know what..." "I know what I went through when Dad chased me." "Granddad, you mean?" " Yes, your grandfather." "He was a hot one, he was." " Dad?" "Why are you so surprised?" " Well, I am surprised." "Id never have thought so." "I know... well, youd be wrong, girls." "Really?" "Hm, really." "See..." " Hm... youve opened my eyes." "And the result is that now he doesnt even look after the goat!" "You seem to be sleepy." " Has my sister been here yet?" "Early this morning with her dog." " Damn it, you were punctual, then." "Well, Frantisek, thats our fourth and enough for me." "Its not enough." "Youve not told me that life is beautiful yet." "Boys!" "Did you and great-grandfather do all that?" "What?" " That heap." "Well, Uncle Jenik too, see..." " Thank you." "Hes building a flushing toilet now, see, and were going to have a bathroom too, for his bride." "What bride?" " Jeniks." "Theyre going to live with us and you know what young people are like." "They want water all over the place." "If you helped Jenik with that loo," "Homolka..." "with the building work, youd help us an awful lot." "Well, suppose you..." "...helped Jenik a bit." "No?" "Well, my boy, talk to him about it." "Dads impossible now." "Lets go, Franta!" " III tell you something, Frantisek." "Go on then!" "Well have another one!" " Coming, Franta?" "Wait a minute!" "Tell me..." "Well, Frantisek, I tell you that life is beautiful." "Even if its not worth a bit of shit." "Well, Im off." " III come along later." "Hell be along later, Fran..." "Frantik." "Were going to continue, Tonda, until you tell me lifes beautiful and thats that." "There, and now were quite." " Wait!" "Ow!" " Well, boys, whats up?" "First one and then the other!" "Do you need a No.1 or No.2?" "I want my cap!" " I want my cap!" "Where is your cap?" "And wheres your cap, Mata?" "Dont upset me, boys." "Ive had just about enough for today!" "He threw it there so let me pull it out!" "He threw mine there too!" "I didnt throw his here." "I slapped his face and it flew there itself." "Go and look." " Whats wrong?" "Go on, go and look." "Look in the hole." "For Gods sake, how did they get there?" "How did they get there..." "ask the boys here." "Well, Peta..." "Mata, what have you been up to?" "Well, well." "What fools they are!" " Well, did you throw them there?" "Whatve those idiots been up to now?" " Whats wrong?" "Look." " Well, well, boys." "What a high standard!" "Lend me a hoe, please, Mum." "What for?" "Dont ask what for, just lend me a hoe." "Thats what happens when a person wants make someone happy." "You certainly make someone happy!" " I tell you, I wanted to make the old man happy- all of you." "Well, the fact remains that our great- - grandfather has made fine fools of us." "What do you mean, a fool?" "Im glad poor old Dads better." "It stinks here." "Lets clear off." "And when we marched off all the virgins wept." "Thirty-five years old, fellows like flowers." "But when we marched off all the girls wept." "Hello, engineer!" " Hello, engineer!" "Good-day." "But weve already exchanged greetings today." "Sure, engineer, but you greeted an old man with a goat, see, but that old man with a goat no longer exists." "Whatever made you do it?" "You deserve a good thrashing." "Look, leave him alone." "Look, leave him alone!" "Why should I leave him alone?" "Its your job too, isnt it?" "Whats my job?" " We shouldve gone home, I tell you." "Good Lord..." "Id slap you without any hesitation." "Do decent people throw caps into loos?" "You idiots!" "Look here, boys, if you get up any more mischief dont ask me for mercy." "Do you know whos the cause of it all?" " Who?" "Frantisek..." "Frantisek here." "Come here, Frantisek, III give you a good slap." "Do you want some too, engineer?" " Dont bother." "Look here, engineer, do you think Im incapable?" "Look, Dad, I neednt have everything I see." "Im tough chap, damn it." " Sure you are." "And this is the best man in the district and this is the bets dog in the district and Im going to get a puppy from it." "I cant manage it, Mara." "Mara..." "What?" " I cant manage it." "Give me the hoe, then... hold my bag..." "Be careful, for heavens sake." "Confounded boys." "Damn it..." "Hm..." "I cant pull it out." "Let me have a go!" "Give me that bag." "You deserve a good punishment, boys." "You cant do it with this sort of loo!" "It needs a rake or something." "Give me back the hoe first, Homolka!" "You get so mad - not even Dad worked himself up like you." "Id like to throw this after the hoe!" "Do you know what life is, engineer, do you know life is?" "Life is beautiful and thats that!" " My garden clove has a perfumed rose" "Wait, Frantisek, stop that cradle song." "...How can I forget you..." "...if its..." "Hes going fox-hunting so it must be something warlike!" "And when we marched away and all the girls wept thirty-five years old, fellows like flowers." "Yes, thirty-five years old, fellows like flowers." "Carry that cap in your hands!" "Dont put in on your head while its still went!" "Come along, boys." "Give our love to Jenik, Mum." " Yes, give our love to uncle." "Yes, of course I will." " Be careful, dont prick yourself." "And Mara, go to that wood, to dad." "Hes not very happy." "Of course we will." "Were going there right now." "After all, we came here to make him happy, poor old Dad." "Thirty-five years old fellows, come back again." "When we marched off and all the girls wept thirty-five years old..." "Woof... woof..." "Its Franceks turn!" "Youre my boy, Francek!" " Wait, dont disturb him now." "Woof... woof... woof, get that cat!" "Off you go!" "Go on!" "Woof, there he is!" "Woof, woof, come here, come here, come here, Jiskra, come here!" "Woof, woof, come here, quick, come here!" "You must fight, Francek, you must fight, Francek!" "He is fighting, Tonda, just look!" "Woof, woof, woof, Jiskra, come here!" "Come here!" "I tell you!" "Dont be a fool, man!" "I wont budge an inch until you stop quarrelling!" "What on earth are you doing, Ludva?" " I like it here." "I ask you, Ludva, how can I keep quiet when you all keep speaking of my poor old Dad so disrespectfully." "And thirty-five years old..." "Wait, Tonda, we must concentrate now." "Well, all right." "Ita, get that cat, get that cat." "Well, chaps, out with the fox!" "Were here now and Frantik¡s concentrating on the job!" " Yes, were concentrating hard!" "Well, chaps, it took you a long time." "Fox ready and waiting." "Number twenty-one, terrier Itia of Dubna, handler Frantisek Vanecek." "Well, good luck, Frantisek!" " Now well show them something." "Thats it Frantisek." "Thats fine." "Well show them something what were still capable of." "Thats the way, thats fine." "And now watch, Tonda!" "Get ready!" "Go!" "Get that cat, get it, get it!" "Hang on to your hats!" "Look, a fine piece of work, eh?" "Shes hanging on to it!" "Open!" "Oh yes, oh yes..." "Vanecek, Vanecek!" "Excellent, Frantisek!" "Wonderful!" "Excellent!" "Hurrah!" "Excellent!" "Terrier Itia of Dubna, owner and handler Frantisek Vanecek, in fox hunting has won the mark Excellent." "In two minutes thirty seconds she got a side grip." "An excellent performance and worthy of praise." "Congratulations!" "Long live hunting!" " Hurrah!" "Youll get your puppy, Frantisek!" "Ive never thrown my weight around in the pub, but this time Im going to." "Right now!" "See that youre back soon!" " Grandpa..." "What?" "...you wanted to die!" "Go and shit yourself!" "Dont fool about in those clothes, get up!" " Youll ruin them!" "Come and look - a squirrel!" " A squirrel, Mata!" "Come along!" "Youre not going anywhere!" "Anywhere, boys!" "She wouldnt let the boys do anything, she wouldnt!" "Lets be off!" "Ludva, come along!" " Wait a moment, Mum!" "Cant the boys just go and see the squirrel!" "Damn it, Mum, why dont you let them go?" "After all, the boys need to see something too." "Come, boys!" "Lets go to that bank over there and III show you where I drowned when I was small." "Where on earth did you drown, I ask you!" " Come along, III show you." "Look, you always said you drowned in that river-weed near Cimelice and all of sudden you drowned here." "Shut up, will you?" " Please, Dad, dont start all over again." "Ludvas quite right this time." "Why shouldnt we at least once enjoy a nice, happy car trip?" "This is a very happy trip." "We cant make a happy trip, Hedus, so dont say thing like that." "And why not?" "Dont you think poor old Dad deserves a little sorrow on our part?" "I dont see why when theres nothing the matter with him." "Hm, he deserves... to be shot." " Come on, Grannie." "You make me mad." " Look, III tell you something." "In the first place, when I write and tell someone Im dying," "III go to bed and stay there, see?" "Out of politeness." "Youll run from death like a hare like everyone else." "What do you think poor old Dads doing?" "Running away from death." "He wont go down there, Zdenek!" "That lickspittle!" "Youd have to put a sausage there!" "Damn it, dont throw your weight around in front of everyone, Mr. Vanecek!" "I didnt say anything, Petrlik." "Youre all right, but your dogs no good for anything." "Some boys were chasing me, see?" "Two." "And in order to dodge them - one caught up with me " "I ran to that sluice-gate." "That was stupid, Grannie." "Id have run over there!" "I wouldnt..." "Id have run over there!" "Hm, here, there." "I know now, but I was only a little girl then and the boys were bigger than me." "Tomas came from this side and Pepik from that side and so I made a dash..." "aaaaah... aaaaah and ended up here." "Be off with you, boys, quick!" "Go on to the wharf!" "But the boys swam up to me." "Just as youre walking over those logs, so they swam up to me - to look under my skirt." "I was so embarrassed." "I caught up my skirt my hand and was so embarrassed I fell into the water!" "Have you ever drowned?" "Never in my life." "But Mum - shes just the type for drowning." "And why Mum?" "I ask you, can you imagine her swimming?" "Well, I cant." " Thats a fact." "Neither can I. I can just see her sinking to the bottom." "Go on, run me over..." "...sound the hooter!" "What?" " Or shell be lost in her memories for another hour." "Mum!" "A hit!" "A hit!" "A hit!" "A hit!" "A hit!" "Goat droppings count, Mata!" "A hit!" " A hit!" "Whatre you throwing at each other, boys?" "Wheres your grandmother, boys?" "Shes looking at the place where she drowned." "Dad!" "Come here!" "Do you hear her?" "I really dont know who she thinks she is." "She imagines Im going to look at the place where she drowned fifty years ago." " Dad!" "Youll see, shell call everyone." "Ludva!" " There, what did I tell you?" "Shell call you too, Hedus!" "Want to bet?" "Dad!" "Ludva!" "Dad!" "She wont call me, youll see." "Dad!" "Ludva!" "Look, Hedus, we wont go there until she calls you, see?" "Dad!" "Ludva!" "Hedus!" "For heavens sake, Mum, Matas lost his cap!" "Oh Lord... never mind, well find it." "It must be here somewhere." "They were chasing each other right here." "Here it is!" " There, weve found it." "Go and thank your grandmother." "I dont know, boys." "Youre always up to something with those caps." " Why cant you look after it?" "Where have you been for goodness sake?" "I called you." "Me?" "Whereve I been?" "Whereve you all been?" "I called you." " We called you too." "Yes, I heard you... you called very nicely... it wouldnt have taken much to make me drown again." "For heavens sake, why are you always so concerned with drowning, woman?" "Youve never drowned." "Youve never drowned, so youve no idea what it means to drown." "Id like to see walk across those logs." "Ill walk across those logs as often as you like." "Anyone could do that." "Well?" "Its nothing anyway." "Well, I..." "I crossed them too, but the way back is..." "Its nothing." " Let me have a go." "Let go, grandpa." "Yes, its really nothing." "Look, come here, let me have a go..." " Come on, theres room for you too." "Look out..." "look..." "Dont be a fool, for Gods sake!" "Its no good, boys." "Theres no question of your trying." "No, boys." "Its only for grown-ups." "Grannie went there when she was only as big as us." "Yes, but look how things turned out." "I might have drowned." "If you want to drown, then go there." "Theres a boat over there, isnt there?" " Boys!" "Get away from there, boys, quick!" " Whatever do you think youre doing?" "Help!" "Help!" " Damned stupid old woman!" "Oh my God!" "Boys!" "Run!" "Lets leave this place." "Good heavens, whatever... did you ever see the like..." " Leave me alone, leave me alone!" "There, come now." " For Gods sake..." "Good God, wait..." "Look, look, her hat..." " Shes still going to be drowning at 90." "Theres not another dog like Itia anywhere, fellows." "What do you bet youll end up like Petrlik?" " Theres a good girl, theres a good girl." "We really fell into it." "Look, Im a good master, but my dogs no good, see?" "Come on." "What on earth made you cross those logs?" "For Gods sake, dont wring it." "Youll make a rag of it!" "Do something about it then." "It was all your fault anyway..." "Did you have to climb on those logs?" "Damn it, dont get in there!" "Youre all wet!" "But my cigarettes are there." "I must at least have a smoke." "Damn it, but I havent got any matches." "Why on earth did you have to stop here, man - where she was drowning." "I stopped at the place where you quarrelled." "Why?" "Weve quarrelled a million times and youve never stopped and all of a sudden you must stop." "Where am I going to find some matches now?" "I couldnt stop before because we didnt have a car." "Ha, ha youve got something there!" " Look, if I were you" "Id be quiet because you pushed me in." "Of course, of course," "I pushed you all in." "Ive lost my glasses and ruined my hat..." "And what about my hat?" "Just look at it." " Good God..." "Well, you yourself are to blame." "In a minute youll be saying that I... that I drowned you all." " Well, itd be quite like you." "Oh, be quiet, Mum." "You can talk, pushing us all there!" "Well, thats fine." "So I caused it all" " I!" "Im of the opinion that I went with the rest of you to see the old man whom for all I care can go and lose himself." "Look, we all agree he can go and lose himself." "Well go there and III give him a good slapping on the spot... the old pretender!" "Calm down, Dad!" "My poor old Dads just as glad to be alive as you are." "Sure, sure, at the moment, Im very glad to be alive!" "Who wouldnt be glad to be alive, I ask you." "The worlds fine place." "Just ask poor old Dad, hell tell you, hell tell you." "Thank you." "On the mark!" "Get ready!" "Go!" "Get the cat." "Look, theres a cat!" "Good dog, good dog, get the cat!" "Damn it, get the cat, get the cat!" "Get in there, get the cat." "Good dog, get in there!" "Damn it, get inside there, get after the cat." "Dont go any further!" "This is fine!" "Yum, yum..." "Look, Im standing..." " Me too!" "I hope she wont give me one on the jaw..." "Good Lord, Good Lord, hes..." "I give up!" "Im going to tell fairy-tales!" "Its terrific!" "This is fun, I tell you!" "Its a good thing we came here, Mata, what?" "Lend me that log, boys!" "Look!" "Look!" "Look, a butterfly!" "Its a red admiral!"