"Hey, Ed, how's it going?" "Can I get you something?" "Shelly?" "My new acid raincoat." "Isn't it bitchin'?" "Cost Holling 25 energy units." " Holling..." " What can I get for you, Ed?" "Fresh oxygen?" "A nice glass of water?" "56% pure." "Holling, what about your hair?" "A reaction to that toxic inversion layer we had last month." "I think it's hot." "Ed." "Eddie, my boy." "Take a hit, man." "It's the real thing." "O2, oxygen." "First hit's free." "Come on, Ed." "You got two left feet?" "Dr. Fleischman?" "What's happened to you?" "Like a schmuck, I listened to the ozone report and went out without my SPF 360." "I don't have much appetite." "You want this?" "What's wrong, Ed?" " So I told him..." " What's happened?" "Everybody's..." "What?" "Ed?" "What's wrong?" "4x11 "SURVIVAL OF THE SPECIES" Subtitles subXpacio" "Incredible." "Unbelievable." "What?" "This piece of junk." "Whole thing's rusted." "I'm surprised it didn't break before." "Maggie, these pipes are plastic." "PVC, to be exact." "Polyvinyl chloride." "A working girl's friend." "Light, cheap and indestructible." "Maggie, it isn't biodegradable." "Damm right it's not." "You think I want to do this again?" "You should have seen my garden at 3:00." "Maggie, PVC contains carcinogens." "I know." "I'm not gonna drink out of it." "It's just for my garden." "This is long enough." "I need to go down another foot." "What's the matter, Ed?" "You seem gloomy." "That's because I am." " Any particular reason?" " Yes." "I was at the Brick and it was all different." "Like in "Soylent Green"." "That's this?" " I think I hit something." " We'd destroyed the planet." "The ozone layer was gone." "People were diseased, mutated, really." " Dr. Fleischman was a mommy." " Something down here." "And Holling..." "Well, he was bald." "Maggie, you were horribly disfigured." "Your face was covered in bumps." "It was just awful." "Look at this." "What do you think?" "It's got a carving on the side." "Is this Indian?" "Yes, it's got to be Indian." "Well, maybe, maybe it could be." "I bet it's a baby carrier." "Yes, the little head went here, and the little feet here." "Isn't this sweet?" "Ed, what do you think?" "Ed?" "Ed?" " Buddy, got a light?" " Nope, sorry." " What?" " How old are you?" "18." " Yeah, right." "And I'm 64." "Hey, where are you going?" "You don't walk away when somebody's talking to you." "What?" "You see this?" " You know what it is?" " A book." "No, a medical text." "I happen to be a doctor." "An almost certified physician." "So I'll tell you what'll happen to your lungs if you keep up smoking." "I'm trembling." "You've got a lot of attitude for a guy who isn't tall enough for half the rides at Disneyland." " Frame it, Doc." " Excuse me?" " Later." " Listen, you pip-squeak." "You can't talk to me like that." " What'll it be?" " Rum and coke on the rocks." " You deaf, pop?" " You got some ID?" "Yeah, yeah." "I don't believe this." "Born in '71, huh?" "So you're 21." " That's right." "155 lbs, 5'9"?" "I have a thyroid condition, what of it?" "You can't sit there without an adult." "What kind of town is this?" "I'm hungry." "Can I just get a cheeseburger, fries and a coke?" "I'll have to serve it to you at a table." "Hey, Ed." "Check out the scenery." "She is fine." "I'd love to fluff those pillows." "Ed, can you put those on the counter, please?" "Ok." "Let's see what we've got." "Ox-tail soup, minced clams." "You know, in the future I doubt they'll be any clams." " They won't?" " No way." "The seas will be too polluted to support mollusks." "I had a dream last night about the future." " Yeah?" " Yeah." "The air, the food, the rain, were all poison." " Everyone was mutated." " Post-apocalyptic nightmare." "You were normal, everything else was grotesque." " That's it." " I have them all the time." "But it's funny, most of my dreams have to do with food." "The other night I dreamed it was raining pimentos." " Those are mine, Mike." " Nacho cheese chips." "Sorry." "Actually, it won't happen like your dream." " What?" " The end of life on Earth." " No?" " No, it'll be much more gradual, far less traumatic." "Great." "You see, Ed." "The human mind doesn't think in geological increments, they're too vast, so we compress things, as in our dreams." "The reality is, at current rates of environmental destruction, it'll take time for our species to disappear." "There'll be famine, riots, plagues." "But most people will go on as they always have, ignoring, adapting, until finally the planet is truly uninhabitable." "Air and water will be polluted and unable to support the ecosystem." "And mankind will die off in droves." " Like the dinosaurs." " Right." "I still can't believe it." "History in my own garden." "I know what you mean." "When I was 6 I found an arrowhead in a neighbor's field." "I slept with it on my bedside table for years." "Then I went to Zuni fetishes," "Navajo jewelry, Santa Clara pottery..." "I didn't know you collected Native American art." "My collection of Hopi Kachina dolls is second only to Barry Goldwater's." "No kidding." " What do you think of that?" " Well." "My first idea was, it was a hoax." " A hoax?" " Yeah, Maggie." "This is cedar wood, and the Natives did use it, but if you use organic material and put it in the ground, bacteria starts to work immediately." "Within 10 or 20 years, it's gone." "Unless it's in permafrost." " We're too far south for that." " And this is in mint condition." "Look here, you can see where the paint was." "A hoax, under these circumstances, seemed unlikely." "So I asked myself, what is this doing here." "Well, there were Indian villages around here." "Yeah, was your house built on the ruins of a village?" " Like Pompeii?" " No, that doesn't wash." "There's no volcanic range within 1,000 miles of here." "There's no cataclysmic earthquake on record." "My guess is it was buried here deliberately." " Why?" " I don't know." "Maybe to hide it from raiding tribes or the Russians." " The Russians?" " Yes, they kicked up a fuss here." "Around 1800." "Trade disputes, Russian Orthodox Church." " That sort of thing." " So could be around 200 years old?" "Yeah, more than that." "Yeah." " What's this?" " What's what?" "What is it?" " Let me see." " Look." "Well, I'll be..." "Look at that." "That's definitely Athabascan influence." "This is a sewing kit." "See the needle?" " Take plastic?" " No cards." " Not even American Express?" " Cash only." " Can I run a tab?" " A tab?" "I wasn't much older than you when I went out on the road." "I think it does good to go off on your own." "Teaches you independence, self-reliance." "Generally I dislike children, but with you I feel a rapport." " You trying to say something?" " You pay as you go." "That way you answer to nobody but yourself." " Truth is, I'm busted." " I figured." " You want to eat, you gotta work." " Work?" "You can serve tables for money, sack out on the pool table, but first, I need to know who I'm dealing with." "Brad Young." "Holling Vincoeur." "Where are your folks?" " Los Angeles." " You're a long way from home." "I'm supposed to be at a camp, but it was totally bogus." " There's no camps here." " Yes there is, "Inward Summit"." " Never heard of it." " They move around." "It's a wilderness, survival thing." "Hiking all day, cooking your own food." "Sleeping outside on the ground." " Sounds like fun." " It's not supposed to be fun." "It's meant to improve your attitude or self-esteem." "Stuff like that." "Do anything that sucks long enough, anything'll look good." "I'm supposed to be on my solo." "They drop you in the woods with some string and a safety pin and say see you in three days." "I followed them to the road, hitched with a logging truck." " Resourceful." " Thought I'd go to Seattle, get a job, maybe do some repo work." " Is that so?" " You gonna turn me in?" "No, I won't turn you in." "But I won't lie for you either." "If they ask me," "I tell them what I know." " Cool." " Enjoy your dinner." "There's an apron waiting for you when you're done." " More coffee?" " If you're pouring..." " Nice hooters." " Thanks." " Order up." " Coming." "Let me get this positioned." "Okay, go ahead." " What is this?" " Oh, Maggie." "You're gonna have to use the back door." "Yeah, we have to preserve the integrity of the site." "Guys, this is my front yard." "What's going on here?" "Maggie, we're in luck." "Ron was a Professor of Anthropology at New Hampshire University." "Hampshire College, Massachusetts." "Eric's done lots of excavation work too." "My uncle was a contractor." "Maurice, I'm a little lost here." "They'll help us develop the site." " Us?" " We're extremely excited." " The condition of the artifacts..." " The topography of the land." "The high water table, possibly due to an artesian spring..." " What we have here is peat." " Peat?" " Peaty water." " A first rate preservative." "In other words, what we find down here could be of landmark significance." "Boys, you want to finish the grid work?" "I'd like to break ground before 9:00." " Sure thing, Maurice." " You know, Maggie, them fairies are perfect for this work." "Biologically they're strong enough to wield a pickaxe, but temperamentally, they're precise and meticulous." "Maurice, I'm not sure about this." " What?" " Well..." "Don't worry, I'm gonna take care of you." "I've drawn up a contract here." "It's a contract of excavation that protects you." "Just look it over, see what you think." "I had to give Ron and Eric any shaman rattles we find." "Those boys know the market place." "40%?" " Yeah, it's standard." "I am providing money for this." "Well, look." "You get first dibs on any decorative item." "And I've told them to name the site after you:" "O'Connell Site." " Really?" " Yeah." "All right, mount time!" "Shovels on the left, pickaxes on the right." "You expect a full day's pay, I expect a full day's work." "Let's go!" "We're burning daylight here!" "What do you think?" "You missed a spot." "I swept the stock room." "Got anything else to do?" " You could clean the grease traps." " No problem." "Cool, have fun." "Holling, where are the grease traps?" " Grease traps?" " Yeah." " Why?" " I'm going to clean them." " You're going to clean them?" " Yeah." " Why?" " Excuse me, boys." "I see." "Hits like a ton of bricks, huh?" "Tell me about it." " It happened to me too." " Yeah?" "Couldn't help it." "Started doing things never dreamt I'd do." "Cook, clean, shake out the rug..." "Shelly's the kind of girl can turn you upside down." "I was a man of the wilderness." "A trapper." "A killer." "Look at me now." "Tied to a bar by my apron strings and enjoying every minute." " You're a lucky dude." " That's true, but..." "I lost my best friend over Shelly." "Yeah?" "And you know something?" "I didn't care." "Sometimes love grabs you and jerks the hell out of you." "My grandmother had a bowl like this." "It belonged to her grandmother." "Beaver clan." "I found this archaeology book in the storeroom." "Clyde ordered it, but froze to death before picking it up." " Thanks, Ruth-Anne." " Aren't these wonderful." " What are they?" " Women's things." " May I?" " Sure, go ahead." "Think of it." "This belonged to someone hundreds of years ago." "She did the same thing we do." "Makes you feel connected somehow." "Yeah, she sewed, we sew." "She cooked, we cook." "Exactly." "She bore children, we bear children." "Well some of us, so far." " Is there something wrong?" " Well..." "Actually there is." "I discover women's things in my garden and it's being overrun by a bunch of men." "I know what you mean." "Maurice is acting like he'd hung the moon." " Why do men have to run things?" " They can't help themselves." "You know what it is?" "It's their penis." "They think and talk with it, they can't get past it." " Exactly." " They can't receive or conceive." "They make up for it by attacking, plundering and overtaking." " Right." " Men ruin things." "Marilyn, call Anchorage for Stitt's throat culture." "It's been almost a week." "Am I interrupting something?" "You're not gonna vibe me out of my own office, understand?" "You, five minutes." " I rest my case." " Right." "Hello, I'm back." " Did the Fuji apples come in?" " Hello, Ruth-Anne." "What are you doing?" "Getting rid of everything that destroys the ozone layer." " I figured you'd approve." " You figured wrong." "I want this mess cleaned up this minute." "I have a store to run." "The environment can wait." "We'll all turn into mutants." " Look at this, for example." " That's my hairspray, Ed." "I know, but do you know, every time you use that you destroy part of the ozone layer?" " We really need the ozone layer." " Okay, Ed." "If it means that much to you, I'll use mousse." "I don't know what's gotten into you lately." "Please, put this stuff back on the shelves now." " Okay." " Thank you." "Where's the videotape display?" "Video?" " Ed?" " That's it, Ruth-Anne." " What's what?" " Video tape." "What?" "Ruth-Anne, TV, movies." "People only believe what they see on the screen." "You're such a smart lady." "Thank you." "Ed?" "This is the way to Grandmother's house," "Grandmother's house, Grandmother's house..." "This is the way to Grandmother's house..." "Hey, babe." "Hello." "Who are you?" "What's it look like?" "I'm the subconscious manifestation of your primal male fixations." " What's in the basket?" " Goodies." " For me?" " For Granny." "Forget Granny." "She's history." "I had her for breakfast." " What?" " She was the embodiment of your obsessive unfulfilled need for the non-critical parent." "So don't worry about Granny." " How about a peek in the basket." " Get your hairy paws off." "I should send for Hansel and Gretel." "You're not ready for me, kid." "What are you talking about?" "I'm here for your basic Oedipal conflict." "All those unresolved hang-ups from puberty, the awakening sexual drive, confusion of father as seducer..." "The whole nine yards." "You never got past oral fixation, did you?" "You need to eat the witch's house, kill the bad mother, etc." "Then give me a call." "Wait a minute." "I don't have an oral fixation, and I don't need a carnivore..." "Tell me something, kid." "Why the red hood?" "Granny gave to me." "Try again." "Why red?" "Why not blue or green, or chartreuse?" "Granny says it compliments my complexion." "Try raw, try violent." "Try sex, kid." "It's just a hood." "What do they call you?" "Mary Margaret." "Little Red Riding Hood." "Why "Little"?" "Okay, why?" "You're too immature to handle complex feelings of a sexual nature." "Listen to the child inside you." "Is she ready to deal with what's in that basket?" "Well, I..." "Maybe you'd feel better if we both looked in it." "Together." " Well..." " Why don't we sit down?" "There's some shade there." " Okay." " That's a good girl." "Don't you feel better?" "Of course you do." "You don't need it." " Hi, Doc." " Dave." "Impressive, Maurice." "This is just the beginning." "Later an air force buddy for Elmendorf is gonna do a flyby with ground penetrating radar." "Then we'll know what we've got here." "What're you gonna do with all this stuff?" "Part will be sold to cover costs and some goes to Maggie." "The rest goes to my private collection." "What about the Indians?" "What about them?" "Lots of people say it belongs to them." " Why?" " They put it there." "Well I found it." "So?" "You found it, but your culture didn't create it." "Come on, Stevens." "Not that revisionist crap." "Finders, keepers, okay?" "If the Indians had it, what do you think they'd do?" "Sell it off." "You're lucky it's with a serious collector who knows the value and will keep it all together." " Maurice." " Maggie." "Didn't we agree you'd use the back door?" "I've changed my mind." "I want you out of here." " What's the problem, little lady?" " I want you off my property." "And you call me "little lady" again, I'll punch you." " Maggie..." " No, Maurice." "I mean it." "Everyone out!" "Scat!" "Shoo!" "Shoo!" " There's no need to get upset." " I'm not upset." " You're upset." " This is not upset." "Upset is crying in bed when you're not invited to the prom." "This is empowered." "You know what empowered is?" "Anne Boleyn laughing and apologizing to the executioner for her small neck." "That's empowered." "A man wouldn't do that, he'd have peed his pants, begged for mercy, but Anne didn't break a sweat." "Know why?" "Because she was empowered." "She knew who she was and I know who I am." "And I want you all off my property!" "Now!" "Hats off to you, Maggie." "It's interesting, in Mesolithic societies, the woman's role..." "Cram it, you tall, skinny, male twerp!" "I mean it!" "Off!" "Maggie." "Look here." "We have a contract." " Contract?" " Yeah." "We have a contract?" "You want to know what I think of this contract?" "This is what I think." " I never wanted this contract." " Hold on there." "Really good contract, delicious." " Got any more?" " Let's talk about this later." "Good idea, excellent idea." "Boys, don't forget your pails and shovels." "Take your toys and scram." "Vámonos." "Okay, there's the peelers and knives..." "Towel..." "Right." "Vegetables..." "Okay, all set." "Ready when you are." "Hi, I'm Ed Chigliak, your host for "Apocalypse Now"." "A documentary series on the end of life and the world as we know it." "I'd like you to meet my friend, Michael Monroe." "Mike." " Hold on one second." " Okay, Ed." "Hello, I'm Michael Monroe." "I have multiple chemical sensitivity or MCS, generally referred to as environmental illness." "Ed has asked me to talk about pesticides, those insidious chemical toxins used by agri-business, particularly fruits and vegetables consumed in the average American home." "What we have here are two tomatoes." "They're washed." "They may appear the same, but this one is from a typical supermarket, and this one was grown in my organic garden." "First, the home grown beauty." "I'm gently rubbing it on my forearm." "Trying to see if there's an epidermal reaction." "Nothing." "The skin is perfectly normal." "Now let's try the supermarket variety." "Okay, I'm already feeling a reaction." "It's hot, itchy, it's starting to burn..." "There it is, see the redness?" "If I'd kept that up another minute, that redness would turn into some ugly welts, so..." "Ed?" " Sorry, cut." " I'm not through." "I've got more on non-toxic insecticidal soaps." "Sorry, Mike." "I asked you to do this, let's forget about it." " Why?" "What's wrong?" " Mike..." "If that tomato's makes your arm all bumpy, what'll it do to your insides?" "And that's just one thing." "There's a lot of fruit out there." "Bananas, oranges, coconuts..." "What are they doing to us?" "You know?" "Soon kids won't be able to take apples to their teachers on the first day of school." "And what about pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving?" "Mashed potatoes and gravy?" "Alas, Mike." "The end of the world is already here." "You're doing that all wrong." "Take a screwdriver to the hinges." "I've cracked bigger locks." "It's no big deal." "Take the whole box and open it up at home." "It's only change anyway." " We all have our off days." " It's not that, Chris." "It's like I've gone mental." " Who's the babe?" " How'd you know it's a babe?" "It's always a babe." "I though breaking something might help me snap out of it..." "Who's the filly?" " She works at the bar." " Shelly Tambo." " How'd you know?" " There's only 849 people here." " The babes stand out." " I get all geeky thinking of her." "Yeah." "Love'll do that to you." "It will?" "Now and forever." "Love sucks." "True." " Maggie." " Holling." " Hello, O'Connell." " What?" "Just "hello"." "Is it true what Marilyn said?" " You'll have to give me a clue." " You're gonna rebury everything?" "Yes, it's true, but it's none of your business." " No, I think it's great." " Don't patronize me." "I'm not." "It's great you have the courage to rebury it." "Especially considering the value, the history." "You ever think about that word?" "History. "His" story." "You don't need a degree for that." "The way we perceive things in life is determined by men." "And I'm sick of it." "I won't let my past, or any other woman's past be mauled, groped or pawed by men for the benefit of other men, got it?" "Maggie..." " You feeling alright, O'Connell?" " Fine, Fleischman." " You seem..." " Great, here we go again." " What?" " PMS, right?" "Typical." "Men beat each other up, get all bloody, that's okay, it's normal, but let a woman get emotional suddenly she's out of control, needs medical attention." "Forgive me for saying this, but I think you're letting your pathological fear of men corrupt your experience here." "Wrong." "I'm not afraid of men." "Your perspective is pathological." "Your perspective." "You're the one needs changing." "Would you have had the guts to say that to Empress Theodora?" " You would've been on your knees." " Who?" "Empress Theodora." "Ring any bells?" "She ruled Asia Minor." "Saved Justinian's ass." "Figures." "If it's her story, it's not history." "Catherine the Great, for example." " Okay, why?" " Well." "Catherine the Great ruled Russia, she fought in wars, corresponded with Voltaire and Diderot." "What's remembered?" "She had a thing for horses, which is apocryphal." " A thing?" " If it isn't, who cares?" "Nobody cared when Jack Kennedy played musical beds." "And what about J. Edgar Hoover and his male squeeze?" "How do these rumors get started?" "Probably a male courtier who was passed over for favors from a prize stallion." "It comes down to choices:" "love or delinquency." "You've got to make a choice." "You can't have both." " Why not?" " It doesn't work that way." "Being a delinquent is like being an artist, or athlete." "You've got to train at it." "Every day, or else you lose your chops." "Yeah." "You don't want to be in love, it slows you down, before you know it, you're not the fastest gun in the West." "You've got young punks trying to step on your turf." "You think you still got it, want to show them who's top." "You take a job you're not ready for." "You end up in jail." "And your girl's in a truck with somebody else." "Know what I mean?" " True story?" " Take it to the bank." "No." "So, which do I choose?" "Love or crime?" "Well, you gotta weigh that for yourself." "Look at the pluses and minuses." "Crime: the pluses." "It's tax free." "It's a kick in the pants." "You make your own hours, you meet interesting people." "Minuses: no medical plan, no job security, early burn out." "Most crooks are like old men by 30." "Either crippled, retired or dead." "What about love?" "You've seen the disadvantages." "You turn into a dork." "What about the pluses?" "It's irrelevant." "Love is." "Period." ""Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny." "I'm looped in the loops of her hair"." "Yeats." ""Mad Max, the Road Warrior"," ""Soylent Green", "Silent Running"," ""Planet of the Apes", "Blade Runner", no one listens." "Get up, Ed." "The average American citizen dumps 3,000 lbs of trash into the environment every year." " I'm going to open now." " The only thing left to do, as a responsible citizen, is kill yourself." "Up." "I'm going to kick you out." "Go find something to do." " I can't make movies anymore." " I'm sorry about that, but read a book, talk a walk..." "Clean your apartment, chop wood..." " Go." " But..." "Mexican omelet and seven-grain waffle." " Shelly, I gotta talk to you." " Brad, where have you been?" "The dishes are piling up." " I'm splitting." " What?" "I'm going back to the camp." "I've got to show you something." "I did it myself." "I've never seen anything so cool in my life." " Did it hurt?" " It's ballpoint." "I want you to be my woman." "I can't get you out of my mind." "I've wrecked three pairs of underwear thinking about you." " No kidding?" " Yeah." "It's been a long time since someone said that to me." "I'll do my time at camp, go back to junior high." "Get into auto shop, learn a trade, like Chris." " Cool." " So we can shack up together." " Okay?" " Thanks, Brad." "I'm really flattered." " But I can't." " Why not?" "Brad, you're only 12 years old." "So?" "Romeo and Juliet were only 14." " They were?" " Yes, that's what Chris said." "What about the old guy?" "He'll give out soon." "Who'll light your fire then?" "Holling's engine keeps going and going." "You've got to come with me." "I'll be good, I'll be different." "I'll be anything you want." "You know, Brad, when I first met you, I thought you were a creep." "Now I think you'll be a dude with something to say, a guy most girls dream about." "When you find the right chick, she's gonna be lucky." "But it's not gonna be me, honey." "You're sweet and charming." "But Holling has the keys to my pants." "And my heart." "Pardon the perspiration." "Part of my daily de-tox." "30 minutes on the bike, 30 on the Nordic track." "Polyunsaturated oil." "Promotes excretion." "Right." "So, what's up?" ""Jurassic Park"." "The new Spielberg film." "Richard Attenborough clones dinosaurs from DNA, they get loose and kill everyone." " Great." " That's what I thought." " And it gave me the idea." " You want to make another movie?" " No." " What's the idea?" " It's the DNA thing, Mike." " You want to clone dinosaurs?" " No, I don't know how." " So?" "Well, the Earth's gonna end, right?" " But maybe aliens will land one day." " Possible." " Like in "Unsolved Mysteries"." " That right?" "They find plant DNA." "They could clone the ecosystem." "The plant part, anyway." "So you want to collect genetic samples of plants." "Like Johnny Appleseed." "But in reverse." "He was selling seeds and I'll be harvesting them." "Great idea." " It is?" " Absolutely." "Good, where do we start?" "With such a large subject, you have to be systematic." "Absolutely." " There's a lot of plants." " Right." "Over 250,000 species of angiosperms alone." "We have to start with something simple." "Something we can get our hands on." " Like ferns." " Ferns?" " Polypodiophyta." " Good idea." "The most primitive plants with a vascular system." "Prior to the carboniferous era ferns were the dominant vegetation on Earth." " Ferns." " Yeah." " Chamomile tea?" " Sure." "Hi, guys." " We late?" " Bus'll be here any minute." "Brad." " I brought you something." " You did?" "I was making it for Holling, but as you're going to the camp you need it more than him." " And he said it was okay." " Yeah?" "Try it on." "It's wool." "Well, mostly." " You like it?" " You kidding?" " I'm never taking it off." " Killer." "I got you this." " For the ride." " "Tales of Kipling"." "I didn't think you were ready for "Leaves of Grass"." ""Now this is the law of the jungle, as old and true as the sky, and the wolf that shall keep it, may prosper, and the wolf that shall break it must die." "Later, Chris"." " Thanks, man." " Sure." "All right." " Well." " Here she comes." "Right on schedule." " Good luck." " See ya." "Brad." " Bye." " I'm hurting." "Come on, son." "Take care, Brad." "Shelly, I'm coming back for you in five years." " No offense, man." " Take a seat, please." " Bye, Brad!" " Bye!" " Scalpel." " Scalpel." " Tweezers." " Tweezers." "What was this?" "Early girl?" " Beefsteak." " Right." "What's next?" " Burpee hybrid?" " Go for it." "What do you want to do after?" "Bonny Best?" "I'm not sure, Mike." "Jubilee?" "Sunray?" "Possibly." "Scalpel." "Scalpel." " Tweezers?" " Tweezers." " Don't damage the seed." " Okay." "Very good." "Thanks." " What're they putting in now?" " The cradle." " What is this?" " Single malt." " Laphroaig." " It's 15 years old." "Okay." "Anybody want to begin?" "Anyone?" " I do." " Shelly?" "Well." "I think it's neat a bunch of chicks can get together and do something fun without men." "We can do more girls stuff in the future." "Theme parties, sleep-overs, stuff like that." "And I dig seeing the guys with nothing to do but watch us and get horny." " What are they saying?" " I can't hear." " But they're having a good time." " Let me see." "How can you tell?" "Nobody fighting, nobody throwing anything." "With men, you can tell when they're having fun." " Ruth-Anne." " Let's put something from our era." "Carrot peeler." "What are they doing now?" "Can't tell, something..." "In laying our sister's things to rest," "I thought we should quote one of her contemporaries," "Mary Wollstonecraft, who wrote these words in 1792." ""My own sex, I hope, will excuse me if I treat them like rational creatures, instead of viewing them in a state of perpetual childhood." "Dismissing those pretty feminine phrases which men condescendingly use to soften our slavish dependence, and despising that sweet docility of manners, supposed to be the characteristics of the weaker vessel." "I wish to show the first object of laudable ambition is to obtain a character as a human being, regardless of the distinction of sex"." " Amen." " Good." " That was beautiful." " Okay." "It's criminal." "I told you we'd never get that rattle." "I just lost a wing in the Museum of Natural History and he's talking about a rattle." "As my trapping buddy Bob Pickering used to say, when a woman gets fixed on something you'd best get out of the road." "I wouldn't mind if it made any sense, but this is just stupid." "You can't look for logic, Maurice." "With woman, rabid emotion justifies everything." ""A woman uses her intelligence to find reasons to support her intuition"." "G.K. Chesterton." "I'm getting cold." "If you'll excuse me, I'm off." " Second." " See you, guys." "Let's go home." "Are we ready?" "Ripped by subXpacio and TusSeries"