"Do you have any idea what they were arguing about?" "Do you speak English?" "Yeah." "No." "I'm sorry, my German is not very good." "Have you heard that as couples age they lose their ability to hear each other?" "No." "Supposedly, men lose their ability to hear high-pitched sounds and women lose hearing in the low end." "I guess they nullify each other." "I guess." "Nature's way of allowing couples to grow old together without killing each other." "What are you reading?" "Oh, yeah." "How about you?" "I was thinking about going to the lounge car." " Would you like to come with me?" " Yeah." "Okay." "How do you speak such good English?" "I went to school for a summer in Los Angeles." " It's fine here?" " Yeah, this is good." "And I spent some time in London." " Wow." " How do you speak such good English?" "Me?" "I'm American." " You're American?" "Are you sure?" " Yeah." "No, I'm joking." "I knew you were American." "And you don't speak any other language, right?" "Yeah, yeah." "I get it, I get it." "I'm the crude, dumb, vulgar American who doesn't speak other languages, who has no culture." "But I tried." "I took French in high school." "When I first got to Paris I stood in line at the metro station." "I was practicing." "Whatever." "And I get up there, and I look at this woman and my mind goes blank." "And I say, "I need a ticket to get to... "" "So anyway..." "So where are you headed?" "Well, back to Paris." " My classes start next week." " You're still in school?" "Where?" "La Sorbonne." "You know?" "Sure." "You're coming from Budapest?" " I was visiting my grandmother." " Oh." "How is she?" "She's okay." " She's all right?" " She's fine." " How about you?" "Where are you going?" " I'm going to Vienna." "Vienna?" "What's there?" "No idea." "I'm flying out of there tomorrow." "You're on holiday?" "I don't really know what I'm on." "You know?" "I've just been traveling around, riding trains for two or three weeks." "You were visiting friends or just on your own?" "I had a friend in Madrid, but..." " Madrid, that's nice." " I got a Eurail pass is what I did." "That's great." "So has this trip around Europe been good for you?" "Yeah, sure." "It's been..." "It sucked." "What?" "It's had its..." "I'll tell you, sitting for weeks on end looking out the window has actually been kind of great." "What do you mean?" "Well, you know, for instance you have ideas that you ordinarily wouldn't have." " What kind of ideas?" " Want to hear one?" " Tell me." " All right." "I have this idea, okay, for a television show." "Some friends of mine are cable-access producers." "Do you know what that is?" "Anybody can produce a show real cheap, and they have to put it on." "I have this idea for a show that lasts 24 hours a day for a year straight." "What you do is you get 365 people from cities all over the world to do these 24-hour documents of real time." "Capturing life as it's lived." "You know, it would start with a guy waking up in the morning and taking the long shower eating a little breakfast, making a little coffee reading the paper..." "Wait." "All those mundane, boring things everybody has to do every day of their fucking life?" "I was going to say, "The poetry of day-to-day life. "" "You say it your way." "I'll say it my way." " Think of it like this..." " Who's gonna watch?" "Think about it like this." "Why is it that a dog sleeping in the sun is so beautiful?" "It is." "It's beautiful." "But a guy taking money from a bank machine looks like a complete moron?" "So it's like a National Geographic program, but on people." "Yeah." "What do you think?" "Yeah, I can see it." "Like, 24 boring hours..." "Sorry and a three-minute sex scene where he falls asleep right after." "Yeah, and that would be a great episode." "People would talk about that episode." "You and your friends could do one in Paris if you wanted." "I don't know." "The key, the thing that haunts me is the distribution." "Getting these tapes from town to town so it would play continuously." "Because it would have to play all the time, or it just wouldn't work." "Thank you." "Thanks." "You know what?" "Not service oriented." "Just an observation about Europe." "My parents never really spoke of the possibility of my falling in love or getting married or having children." "Even as a little girl they wanted me to think as a future career as a, you know interior designer or lawyer or something like that." "I'd say to my dad, "I want to be a writer. "" "And he'd say, "Journalist. "" "I'd say I wanted to have a refuge for stray cats." "He'd say, "Veterinarian. "" "I'd say I wanted to be an actress." "He'd say, "TV newscaster. "" "It was this constant conversion of my fanciful ambition into these practical moneymaking ventures." "I had a good bullshit detector when I was a kid." "I always knew when they were lying to me." "By high school, I was dead set on listening to what everybody thought I should do with my life and doing the opposite." "Nobody was ever mean about it." "I just could never get very excited about other people's ambitions for my life." "But you know what?" "If your parents never fully contradict you about anything and are nice and supportive..." "Right." "...it makes it even harder to officially complain." "Even when they're wrong, it's this passive-aggressive shit." "You know what I mean?" "I hate it." "I really hate it." "Well, you know, despite all that kind of bullshit that comes along with it I remember childhood as this magical time." "I do." "I remember when my mother first told me about death." "My great-grandmother had died, and my family had visited them in Florida." "I was about 3, 31/2 years old." "Anyway, I was in the back yard playing and my sister had just taught me how to take the garden hose and do it in such a way that it sprayed into the sun and would make a rainbow." "And so I was doing that and through the mist, I could see my grandmother." "And she was just standing there, smiling at me." "And I held it there for a long time and I looked at her." "And then finally, I let go of the nozzle, you know?" "And then I dropped the hose and she disappeared." "And so I run back inside and tell my parents." "And they sit me down and give me this big rap on how when people die, you never see them again, and how I'd imagined it." "But I knew what I'd seen." "I was glad I saw that." "I've never seen anything like that since." "But I don't know." "It just kind of let me know how ambiguous everything was." "Even death." "You're lucky you can have this attitude toward death." "I think I'm afraid of death 24 hours a day." "I swear." "I mean, that's why I'm in a train right now." "I could've flown to Paris, but I'm scared." " Oh, come on." " I can't help it." "I know the statistics say, "Na, na, na, it's safer. " Whatever." "When I'm in a plane, I can see the explosion." "I can see me falling through the clouds." "And I'm so scared of those few seconds of consciousness before you die." "When you know you're gonna die." "I can't stop thinking that way." "It's exhausting." "Yeah, I bet." "Really exhausting." " I think this is Vienna." " Yeah." " You get off here, no?" " Yeah, what a drag." "I wish I'd met you earlier." "I really like talking to you." "Yeah, me too." "It was really nice of you too." "I have an admittedly insane idea, but if I don't ask you this it'll haunt me the rest of my life." "What?" "I want to keep talking to you." "I have no idea what your situation is but I feel like we have some kind of connection." "Right?" "Yeah." "Me too." "Right." "Great." "Here's the deal." "Get off here in Vienna and come check out the town." " What?" " Come on." "It'll be fun." " Come on." " What would we do?" "I don't know." "All I know is I catch a flight tomorrow morning at 9:30 and I can't afford a hotel, so I was going to walk around and it'd be more fun if you came with me." "And if I turn out to be a psycho, just get on the next train." "All right, all right." "Think of it like this." "Jump ahead 10, 20 years, okay?" "And you're married." "Only your marriage doesn't have that same energy it used to have." "You start to blame your husband." "You think about all those guys you've met in your life and what might've happened if you'd picked up with one of them." "I'm one of those guys." "That's me." "So think of this as time travel from then to now to find out what you're missing out on." "What this could be is a gigantic favor to you and your husband to find out you're not missing anything." "I'm just as big a loser as he is." "Unmotivated." "Boring." "You made the right choice." "You're happy." "Let me get my bag." "We should get a locker for all this." "What's your name?" "My name?" "Jesse." "James, actually, but everybody calls me Jesse." "You mean, Jesse James, no?" "No." "No, just Jesse." "I'm Celine." "This is a nice bridge." "Yeah." "This is kind of weird." "Isn't it?" "I mean, I feel a little awkward." " But it's all right." "Right?" " Yeah, this is great." " Let's go to some places." " Yeah, let's go to some places." " Let's ask these guys." " Okay." "Excuse me." "Excuse me?" "Sprechen sie English?" " Ja." "Of course." " Do you speak German for a change?" " What?" " No, it was a joke." "We just got into Vienna today, and we're looking for something fun to do." "Like museums, exhibitions..." "But museums are not that funny anymore these days." "They are closing right now." "How long are you going to be here?" "Just for tonight." "Why did you come to Vienna?" "What could you be expecting?" "We're on honeymoon." "Yeah, she got pregnant, we had to get married..." "I don't believe you." "You're a bad liar." "This is a play we're both in." "We would like to invite you." "You're actors?" "Not professional." "Part-time for fun." "It's a play about a cow and Indians searching for it." "There are also politicians, Mexicans..." "Russians, communists..." " You have a real cow on stage?" " No, an actor in a cow costume." " He's the cow." " Yes, I am the cow." " And the cow's a bit weird." " The cow has a disease." "She's acting a bit strange." "Like a dog." "If someone throws a stick, she fetches it." "And she can smoke with hoofs and everything." " Great." " As you see, there is the address." "It's in the second district." "Near the Prater." "You know it?" "The big Ferris wheel?" "We should go." "We should." "Perhaps you can go to the Prater before the play." "It starts at 2130." " 2130?" " It's at 9:30." " 9:30." " Oh, right." "What's the name of this play?" "It translates as "Bring Me the Horns of Wilmington's Cow. "" "I'm Wilmington's cow." " All right." " Great." " You'll be there?" " We'll try." "I'm the cow." "Goodbye." "I got an idea." "Are you ready?" "It's Q and A time." "We've known each other a little while." "We're stuck together, so we'll ask each other a few direct questions." "All right?" " We ask each other questions?" " And you have to answer honestly." " Of course." " Okay." "All right, first question." " You." " Yes, I am going to ask you." "Describe for me your first sexual feelings towards a person." "My first sexual feelings?" "Oh, my God." "I know." "I know." "Jean-Marc Fleury." "Jean-Marc Fleury?" "We were at this summer camp together, and he was a swimmer." "He had bleached-out chlorine hair and green eyes and to improve his times, he'd shave his legs and arms." " That's disgusting." " He was like this gorgeous dolphin." "My friend Emma had a big crush on him." "So one day, I was cutting across the field back to my room and he came walking up beside me." "I told him "You should date Emma." "She has a big crush on you. "" "And he turned to me and said "Well, that's too bad, because I have a big crush on you. "" "So, yeah, it really scared the hell out of me because I thought he was so fine." "Then he officially asked me on a date." "I pretended I didn't like him." "You know, I was so afraid of what I might do, you know." "So I went to see him swim a few times at the competition." "And he was so sexy." "Really." "I mean, really sexy." "We wrote these little declarations of love at the end of the summer and, you know, promised we would keep writing forever and meet again very soon and..." "Did you?" "Of course not." "Then this is the opportune time to tell you I'm a fantastic swimmer." " Really?" " Yeah." " I make note of that." " Okay." " So it's my turn." "No?" " Yes, your turn." "Hit me." "Have you ever been in love?" "Yes." "Next question." " What was the..." " Wait a minute." " So I can give one-word answers?" " Why not?" "After I went into detail about my sexual feelings?" "They're different questions." "I could answer the sexual-feelings thing." "But, you know, love..." "I mean, what if I asked you about love?" "I would have lied, but at least I would have made up a great story." "Love is a complex issue, you know?" "I mean, yes, I've told somebody that I love them, and I've meant it." "But was it totally unselfish, giving love?" "Was it a beautiful thing?" "Not really." "You know, it's like, love..." "I mean, I don't know." "You know?" " Yeah." "I know what you mean." " But as far as sexual feelings go it started with an obsessive relationship with Miss July, 1978." "Do you know Playboy magazine?" " I've heard of it." " You know Crystal?" "You don't know Crystal?" "Well, I knew Crystal." "Is it my turn now?" "Tell me something that really pisses you off." " Really drives you crazy." " Pisses me off." " God, everything pisses me off." " List a couple." "Oh, I know." "I hate being told by strange men strange men in the street you know, to smile to make them feel better about their boring life." "What else?" "I hate..." "I hate that 300 kilometers from here, there's a war people are dying, and nobody knows what to do." "Or they don't give a shit." "I don't know." "I hate that the media's trying to control our minds." " The media?" " Yeah, the media." "It's very subtle, but it's a new form of fascism, really." "I hate..." "I hate when I'm in a foreign country, especially in America each time I wear black or lose my temper or say anything about anything they always go, "Oh, it's so French." "It's so cute. "" "I hate that." "I can't stand that." "Really." "Is that all?" "Well, there's a lot of things, but..." " So it's my turn." " Okay." " You're gonna answer." " Yes, I'll answer." "What's a problem for you?" "You, probably." "What?" "I had a thought the other day that kind of qualifies as a problem." "What is it?" "It was a thought I had on the train, so..." "Okay." "All right." "Do you believe in reincarnation?" "Yeah." "Yeah, it's interesting." "A lot of people talk about past lives and things like that, you know?" "And even if they don't believe in it in some specific way people have a notion of an eternal soul." " Yeah." " Okay." "This is my thought:" "50,000 years ago there's not even a million people." "Ten thousand years ago, there's, like, two million people." "Now there's between five and six billion people on the planet." "If we all have our own individual, unique soul where did they all come from?" "Are modern souls only a fraction of the original souls?" "If they are, that represents a 5000 to 1 split of each soul in the last 50,000 years, which is a blip in the Earth's time." "So at best, we're these tiny fractions of people walking..." "Is that why we're so scattered?" "Is that why we're so specialized?" "Wait a minute, I'm not sure..." "Yeah, I know, I know." "It's a totally scattered thought." "Which is kind of why it makes sense." "I agree with you." "Let's get off this damn train." "This place is pretty neat." "Yeah." "There's even a listening booth." "Have you heard of this singer?" "I think she's American." "A friend told me about her." "Do you want to go see if that listening booth still works?" "Yeah, okay." "There's a wind that Blows in from the north" "And it says that loving Takes this course" "Come here" "Come here" "No, I'm not impossible to touch" "I have never wanted you so much" "Come here" "Come here" "Have I never laid down by your side" "Baby, let's forget about this pride" "Come here" "Come here" "Look at this." "This is beautiful." "Quick." "It's leaving." "Look, there's a rabbit." "Yeah." "Hey there, rabbit." "It's so cute." "I visited this as a young teenager." "It left a bigger impression on me at that time than the museums." "Yeah?" "It's tiny." "I know." "A little old man talked to us." "He was the groundskeeper." "He explained that most of the people buried here had washed up on the bank of the Danube." "How old are these?" "Around the beginning of the century." "It's called No Name Cemetery because they often didn't know who those people were." "Maybe a first name, that's all." "Why were all the bodies washing up?" "I think some were from accidents on boats and things like that." "But most of them were suicides that jumped in the river." "I always liked the idea of all those unknown people lost in the world." "When I was a little girl, I thought if none of your family or friends knew you were dead then it's like not really being dead." "People can invent the best and the worst for you." "Here she is, I think." "Yeah, this is the one I remember the most." "She was only 13 when she died." "That meant something to me." "I was that age when I first saw this." "Now I'm 10 years older, and she's still 13, I guess." "That's funny." "That's the Danube over there." "That's a river, right?" "Yeah." "This is gorgeous." "Yeah, this is beautiful." "I mean, we got..." "We got a sunset here." " Yeah." " We got the Ferris wheel." "It seems like this would be a..." "What?" "You know..." "Are you trying to say you want to kiss me?" "But you know what?" "It doesn't matter what generation you're born into." "Look at my parents." "They were angry, young May '68 people revolting against everything." "The government, their conservative Catholic backgrounds..." "Then I was born, and my father became a successful architect." "We traveled around the world while he built bridges and, you know, towers and stuff." "I mean, I really can't complain about anything." "They love me more than anything and I've been raised with all the freedom they fought for." "And yet, for me now, it's another type of fight." "We have to deal with the same shit, but we can't really know who or, you know, what the enemy is." "I don't know if there really is an enemy." "Everybody's parents fucked them up." "Rich kids' parents gave them too much." "Poor kids', not enough." "Too much attention, not enough attention." "They either left or taught them the wrong things." "My parents are just two people who didn't like each other much who got married and had a kid." "And they tried their best to be nice to me." " Did your parents divorce?" " Yeah, finally." "They should have done it sooner." "They stuck together for the well-being of my sister and I. Thank you very much." "I remember my mother told me right in front of my father that he didn't really want to have me." "That he was pissed off when he found out she was pregnant." "That I was a big mistake." "That really shaped the way I think." "I always saw the world as this place where I really wasn't meant to be." "That's so sad." "Well, I mean, I eventually kind of took pride in it." "You know, like my life was my own doing." "You know, like I was crashing the big party." "That's the way to see it." "My parents are still married and I guess they're happy." "But I think it's healthy to rebel against everything that came before." "You know, I've been wondering lately do you know anyone who's in a happy relationship?" "Yeah, sure." "You know, I know happy couples." "But I think they lie to each other." "Yeah." "People can live their whole life as a lie." "My grandmother was married and I thought she had an uncomplicated love life." "But she just confessed to me that she spent her whole life dreaming about another man she was in love with." "She just accepted her fate." "It's so sad." "In the same time, I love that she had these emotions and feelings I never thought she had." "I guarantee you it was better that way." "If she'd known him, he'd have disappointed her eventually." " How do you know?" " I know." "I know." "People put romantic projections on everything." "It's not based in any kind of reality." "Romantic projections?" "Oh, Mr. Romantic up in the Ferris wheel?" ""Oh, kiss me." "The sunset." "Oh, it's so beautiful. "" "Tell me about your grandmother." "What were you saying about her?" "Check these guys out." ""Hans, I have a confession." "I'm not wearing underwear underneath this. "" ""Oh, really?" "Does that frighten you?"" "Can I tell you a secret?" "Yeah." "Come here." " What?" " Come here." "Look at this palm reader." "She's interesting looking." "Yeah." " Uh-oh." "Uh-oh." " What?" " I made eye contact." " She's not coming over here." " Yes, she is." " Oh, shit." "Oh, no." " You want your palm read?" " No." " Are you sure?" " I'm sure." " Okay." " Hello." "Oh, here she is." "I want your palm read." "Yeah." "How much is it?" "For you, 50." "Okay?" "Okay." "So you have been on a journey and you're a stranger to this place." "You are an adventurer." "A seeker." "An adventurer in your mind." "You are interested in the power of the woman." "In the woman's deep strength and creativity." "You're becoming this woman." "You need to resign yourself to the awkwardness of life." "Only if you find peace within yourself will you find true connection with others." "That is a stranger to you?" "I guess so." "You will be all right." "He's learning." "Okay." "Money." "You're both stars." "Don't forget." "When the stars exploded billions of years ago they formed everything that is this world." "Everything we know is stardust." "So don't forget, you are stardust." "That's very nice and all." "I mean, that we're all stardust and you're becoming this great woman." "But I hope you don't take that any more seriously than some horoscope in a newspaper." "What?" "She knew I was on vacation and that we didn't know each other and that I was going to become this great woman." "But what was that "I am learning" bullshit?" "That's way condescending, you know?" "I mean, she wasn't even doing me." "I mean, if opportunists like that ever had to tell the real truth it would put them out of business." "Just once, I'd love to see some little old lady save up all her money to go to the fortuneteller." "She'd get there and the woman would say "Tomorrow and all your remaining days will be exactly like today a tedious collection of hours." "And you will have no new passions and no new thoughts and no new travels." "And when you die, you'll be completely forgotten." "Fifty schillings, please. "" "That I'd like to see." "It's so funny how she almost didn't notice you." "It's weird." "I wonder why." "She was really wise and intense." "I really loved what she said." "You pay your money to hear what makes you feel good about yourself." "Maybe there's a seedy section of Vienna." "We can buy a hit of crack." "Would you like that?" "You're so..." "Stardust." "Stardust." "There's an exhibition." "I guess we'll miss it." "It doesn't start until next week." "Yeah, I think so." "I actually saw this one in a museum." "I stared and stared at it." "Must have been 45 minutes." "I love it." "La voie ferrée." "It's great." "I love the way the people are dissolving into the background." "Look at this." "It's like the environments are stronger than the people." "His human figures are always so transitory." "It's funny." "Transitory?" "Transitory." " You think this is open?" " I don't know." "Let's try it." "I was in an old church like this with my grandmother a few days ago in Budapest." "Even though I reject most of the religious thing I can't help but feeling for those people that come here lost or in pain, guilt looking for some kind of answers." "It fascinates me how a single place can join pain and happiness of so many generations." "You're close with your grandmother?" "Yeah." "I think it's because I always have this strange feeling that I'm this very old woman laying down, about to die." "You know, that my life is just her memories or something." "That's so wild." "I always think that I'm still this 13-year-old boy who doesn't really know how to be an adult, pretending to live my life, taking notes for when I'll really have to do it." "Like I'm in a dress rehearsal for a junior high play." "That's funny." "Then up there in the Ferris wheel, it was like this very old woman kissing this very young boy." "Right?" "Do you know anything about the Quakers, the Quaker religion?" "No, not much." "Well, I went to this Quaker wedding once and it was fantastic." "What they do is the couple comes in and they kneel in front of the whole congregation and they stare at each other." "Nobody says a word unless they feel that God moves them to speak or say something." "And then, after an hour or so of just staring at each other they're married." "That's beautiful." "I like that." "This is a horrible story." "What?" "It's not the appropriate place to tell it." "Well, I was driving around with this buddy of mine." "He's a big atheist, you know." "And he came to a stop next to this homeless guy." "My buddy takes out a $ 100 bill and leans out the window and he says, "Do you believe in God?"" "And the guy looks at my friend, he looks at the money." "He says "Yes, I do. "" "My friend says, "Wrong answer. "" "We drove away." "That's mean." "Would you be in Paris by now if you hadn't gotten off the train?" "No, not yet." "What would you be doing?" "I'd probably be hanging around the airport crying in my coffee because you didn't come with me." "I'd probably gotten off the train in Salzburg with someone else." "Oh, yeah?" "Oh, I see." "So I'm just a dumb American momentarily decorating your blank canvas, huh?" " I'm having a great time." " Really?" "Me too." "I'm glad, because no one knows I'm here." "I don't know anyone that would tell me all those bad things you've done." " I'll tell you some." " Yeah, I'm sure." "You hear so much shit about people." "I always feel like the general of an army when I start dating." "Plotting my strategy and maneuverings knowing his weak points, what would hurt him, seduce him." "It's horrible." "If we were always around each other what would be the first thing about me that would drive you mad?" "No." "I'm not going to answer this question." "I dated this girl once who used to always ask me that." ""What about me bugs you?"" "Finally I said, "I don't think you handle criticism too well. "" "She flew into a rage and broke up with me." "That's true." "All she wanted was to have an excuse to tell me what she thought was wrong with me." "Is that what you want?" "Something about me bugs you?" " What is it about me bugs you?" " Nothing at all." "If it had to be something, what would it be?" "If it had to be something, if I had to think about it I kind of didn't really like this reaction at the palm reader." "You were like this rooster prick." "What the hell is a rooster prick?" "You were like a boy whining because all the attention wasn't focused on him." "All right, listen." "This woman robs you blind, okay?" "You were like a boy walking by an ice-cream store crying because his mom won't buy him a milk shake." "I don't care what this charlatan has to say about..." "What?" "I understand a little, but he doesn't at all." "May I ask you a question?" "So I would like to make a deal with you." "I mean, instead of just asking you for money, I will ask you for a word." "You give me a word, I take the word, and then I will write a poem with the word inside." "And if you like it, if you like my poem if it adds something to your life in any way then you can pay me whatever you feel like." "I'll write in English, of course." " Okay." " All right." "Great." "So?" "Pick a word." "A word." " Milk shake." " Milk shake?" "Oh, good." "I was gonna say "rooster prick. " But great." "Milk shake." ""Milk shake"?" "Okay, milk shake." " All right, so..." " Good." "I gotta say, I like this Viennese variation of bum." "I like what he said about adding something to your life." "So, were we having our first fight back there?" "I think so." "I think we were." "Even if we were, why does everyone think conflict is so bad?" "There's a lot of good things coming out of conflict." "Yeah, I guess so." "I always think if I could just accept the fact that my life was supposed to be difficult, that's what's expected then I might not get so pissed off." "And I'd just be glad when something nice happens." "That's why I'm still in school." "It's easier to have something to fight against." "Well, we've all had such competitiveness ingrained in us." "You know, I can be doing the most nothing thing." "Throwing some darts or shooting some pool." "Then all of a sudden, I feel it come over me." "I have got to win." "Is that why you tried to get me off the train?" "Competitiveness?" "Is that why you tried to get me off the train?" "Competitiveness?" "What do you mean?" "I got a poem." "Oh, all right." "Will you read it to us?" "Sure." "Okay." ""Daydream delusion" "Limousine eyelash" "Oh, baby, with your pretty face" "Drop a tear in my wine glass Look at those big eyes" "See what you mean to me" "Sweetcakes and milk shakes" "I am a delusion angel" "I'm a fantasy parade" "I want you to know what I think Don't want you to guess anymore" "You have no idea where I came from" "We have no idea where we're going" "Lodged in life" "Like branches in the river" "Flowing downstream Caught in the current" "I carry you" "You'll carry me" "That's how it could be" "Don't you know me?" "Don't you know me by now?"" "Great." " Thanks." " Thanks, man." "Here you go." " Thanks." " All right." " Here." "Thank you." " Thank you." "Good luck." "It was wonderful, no?" " What?" " He probably didn't just write that." "He wrote it, but he probably plugs that word in." "You know, whatever, "milk shake. "" "What do you mean?" "Nothing." "I loved it." "It was great." "You know what drives me crazy?" "People talking about how great technology is, how it saves all this time." "But what good is saved time if nobody uses it?" "If it just turns into more busy work." "I never hear anybody say, "With the time I've saved using my word processor I'm gonna go to a Zen monastery and hang out. "" " You don't hear that." " Time is so abstract anyway." " Are you looking at this girl?" " What?" "Nothing." "You wanna go in here?" " You wanna go in here?" " Yeah." "It's a club, no?" "Wanna go?" "Hello." "Fifty schillings." " Each." " I got 100." "Here, I got it." "I'll buy you a beer." "Thank you." " You gonna buy me a beer?" " Yeah." "You think Old Milwaukee is expensive here?" "We haven't talked about this yet, but are you dating anyone?" "You got a boyfriend waiting on you back in Paris or anything like that?" " No, not right now." " But you did." "We broke up six months ago." "Six months ago?" "Oh, I'm sorry." "I mean, I'm not that sorry." "Tell me about it." "No way." "I can't." "It's really, really boring." "Come on." "Tell me about it." "I was really disappointed." "I thought this one would last for a while." "He was very stupid, ugly, bad in bed, alcoholic..." " You know." " A real prize winner." "I was kind of giving him a favor." "But he left me, saying I loved him too much." "I was blocking his artistic expression or some shit like that." "But anyway, I was traumatized and became..." "And became totally obsessed with him." "So I went to a shrink, and it came up that I had written this stupid story about this woman trying to kill her boyfriend and how she'd do it." "It's all the details of how to do it and not get caught..." "She was gonna kill her boyfriend?" "Yeah, she was." "It's nothing I would do, but it was just some writing." "No, I understand." "This stupid shrink believed everything I told her." "It was my first time seeing her." "She said she had to call the police." "She had to call the police?" "She was totally convinced I was really gonna do it." "Even though I had explained it was just some writing." "She said, looking into my eyes, "The way you said it I know you are going to do it. "" "She was totally out of her mind." "It was my first and last session." "So what happened then?" "I totally got over him." "But now, I'm obsessed that he's gonna die from an accident or 1000 kilometers away." "And I'm gonna be the one accused." "Why is it you become obsessed with people you don't really like that much?" "I don't know." "So how about you?" " What?" " Are you with anyone?" "It's funny how we managed to avoid this subject for so long." "But now you have to tell me." "Well, I kind of see love as this escape for two people who don't know how to be alone." "It's funny." "People always talk about how love is this totally unselfish, giving thing." "But if you think about it, there's nothing more selfish." "I know." "So who just broke up with you?" "What?" "You sound like you just were hurt." "Do I?" "All right." "Big confession." "I should've told you this earlier or something." "I didn't come to Europe just to hang out and read Hemingway in Paris and shit like that." "I saved up my money all spring to fly to Madrid and spend the summer with my girlfriend..." " Your girlfriend?" " My ex-girlfriend who has been on this art history program for the last year." "Anyway, I got here." "We were reunited at long last and we went out to dinner our first night with six of her friends." "Pedro, Antonio, Gonzalo Maria, Suzy from home." "She managed to avoid being alone with me for the first few days and I stuck around just to let it sink in that she wished I hadn't come." "So I bought the cheapest flight out, this one leaving out of Vienna." "It didn't leave for a couple weeks, so I bought this Eurail pass." "You know what's the worst thing about somebody breaking up with you?" "It's when you remember how little you thought about the people you broke up with, and you realize that that is how little they're thinking about you." "You'd like to think you're both in pain but really, they're just, "Hey, I'm glad you're gone. "" "Believe me, I know." "You should look at bright colors." "That's what the shrink told me." "I was paying her 900 francs an hour to hear that I was a homicidal maniac but I could shift my obsession if I would concentrate on bright colors." "Did it work?" " Didn't help your pinball." " Well, no." "Yeah, well, you know, I haven't killed anyone lately." "Not lately?" "That's good." "You're cured then." "There's breeds of monkeys, and all they do is have sex all the time." "And they turn out to be the least violent the most peaceful, the most happy." "So maybe fooling around's not so bad." " Are you talking about monkeys?" " Yes, I am." " I thought so." " Why?" "I never heard this one." "But it reminds me of this perfect male argument to justify them fooling around." "Women monkeys are fooling around too." "Everybody's fooling around." "That's cute." "I have this awful, paranoid thought that feminism was mostly invented by men so they could fool around more." ""Woman, free your mind, free your body." "Sleep with me." "We're all happy and free, as long as I can fuck as much as I can. "" "All right." "But maybe there's some biological things at work here." "If you had an island and there were 99 women on the island and only one man in a year, you'd have the possibility of 99 babies." "But if you have an island with 99 men and only one woman in a year, you have the possibility of only one baby." "So..." "You know what?" "On this island, I think there will be only, like, maybe 43 men left." "They would've killed each other trying to fuck this poor woman." "And on the other island, there would be 99 women, 99 babies and no more man." "Because they would've all eaten him alive." "Oh, yeah?" "There's something to that." "On some level, women don't mind the idea of destroying a man." "I was walking down the street with my ex-girlfriend and we'd just walked by these four thuggy-looking guys next to a Camaro." "And one of them says, "Hey, baby." "Nice ass!"" "So I'm like, "No big deal." "I won't get uptight about this. "" "Plus, there were four of them." "Exactly." "But she says, "Fuck you, dickheads!"" "And I'm like, "Okay." "Wait a minute, here. "" "They're not gonna come over and kick her ass." "So who just got pushed to the frontline on that one?" "Women say they hate it if you're all protective." "But if it suits them, then they'll tell you you're being unmanly." "You know what?" "I don't think woman really wants to destroy man." "Even if they want to, they don't succeed." "I'm sure even men are destroying women or are capable of destroying women much more than women..." "Anyway, it's depressing." "You know what?" " You wanna stop talking about this?" " I hate it." "Men, women, it's..." "There's no end to it." "It's like a skipping record." "Every couple's been having this conversation forever." "And nobody came up with anything." "I saw a documentary on that." "It's a birth dance." "A birth dance?" "Should I give her some money?" "Everything that's interesting costs a little money." "So a birth dance, huh?" "Looked a little bit like a mating dance to me." "No, but really." "Women used it when giving birth." "In part of the world, they still do it." "The woman in labor enters a tent and the women of her tribe surround her and dance." "They encourage her to dance with them so as to make the birth less painful." "And when the baby is born, they all dance in celebration." "I don't think my mom would've gone for that." "I like the idea of dancing as something everybody participates in." "I know." "I heard about this old guy who was watching some young people dance." "He said, "How beautiful." "They're shaking off their genitals to become angels. "" "I like that." "One question, though." "When the women are dancing and being all spiritual and stuff where are the men?" "Are we out food gathering?" "Are we not invited?" "You all don't need us?" "Men are lucky we don't bite off their heads after mating." "Certain insects do that, like spiders and stuff?" "We let you live." "What are you complaining about?" "See, you're officially kidding." "But there's something to that." "You keep bringing stuff like that up." "No, no." "Wait a minute." "Talking seriously here." "I mean, I always feel this pressure of being a strong and independent icon of womanhood and not making it look like my whole life is revolving around some guy." "But loving someone and being loved means so much to me." "I always make fun of it and stuff but isn't everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?" "I don't know." "Sometimes I dream about being a good father and a good husband." "And sometimes it feels really close." "But then other times it seems silly like it would ruin my whole life." "And it's not just a fear of commitment or that I'm incapable of caring or loving because I can." "It's just that, if I'm totally honest with myself I think I'd rather die knowing that I was really good at something." "That I had excelled in some way than that I'd just been in a nice, caring relationship." "I had worked for this older man, and once he told me that he had spent all of his life thinking about his career." "He was 52, and it suddenly struck him that he had never really given anything of himself." "His life was for no one and nothing." "He was almost crying saying that." "I believe if there's any kind of God it wouldn't be in any of us not you or me but just this little space in between." "If there's any kind of magic in this world it must be in the attempt of understanding someone sharing something." "I know, it's almost impossible to succeed but who cares really?" "The answer must be in the attempt." "I think this is a civilization in decline." "Look at the service." "Where is the waitress?" "In New York, she'd be out of a job." "I'm gonna call my friend in Paris who I'm supposed to have lunch with in eight hours." "Pick up." " Pick up the phone." " All right." "I've been working on my English." "You wanna talk in English, for laughs?" "Yeah, okay." "That's a good idea." "I don't think I'll be able to make it for lunch today." "I met a guy on the train, and I got off with him in Vienna." "Are you crazy?" "Probably." " He's Austrian?" "He's from there?" " No, No." "He's passing through." "He's American." "He's going back home tomorrow." "Why'd you get off?" "Well, he convinced me." "I mean, actually, I was ready to get off the train with him after talking to him a short while." "He was so sweet, I couldn't help it." "In the lounge car, he began to talk about him as a boy seeing his great-grandmother's ghost." "I think that's when I fell for him." "Just the idea of this little boy with all those beautiful dreams." "He trapped me." "And he's so cute." "He has beautiful blue eyes nice pink lips greasy hair." "I love it." "He's kind of tall, and he's a little clumsy." "I like to feel his eyes on me when I look away." "He kind of kisses like an adolescent." "It's so cute." " What?" " Yeah, we kissed." "It was so adorable." "As the night went on, I began to like him more and more." "I'm afraid he's scared of me." "I told him the story about the woman that kills her ex-boyfriend." "He must be scared to death." "He must be thinking I'm this manipulative, mean woman." "I just hope he doesn't feel that way about me." "Because, you know me, I'm the most harmless person." "The only person I could really hurt is myself." "I don't think he's scared of you." "I think he's crazy about you." " Really?" " I've known you a long time." "I got a good feeling." "You gonna see him again?" "We haven't talked about that yet." "Okay, it's your turn." "You call your friend." "All right, all right." "I usually get this guy's answering machine." "Hi, dude." "What's up?" "Hey, Frank." "How you been?" "I'm glad you're home." "Cool." "Yeah." "So how was Madrid?" "Madrid sucked." "Lisa and I had our long overdue meltdown." "Too bad." "I told you, no?" "Yeah, yeah." "The long-distance thing just never works." "I was only in Madrid for a couple days." "I got a cheaper flight out of Vienna." "You know, it really wasn't that much cheaper." "I just..." "I couldn't go home right away." "I didn't want to see anybody I knew." "I just wanted to be a ghost, completely anonymous." "So are you okay now?" "Yeah." "I'm great." "I'm great." "That's the thing." "I'm rapturous." "And I'll tell you why." "I met somebody on my last night in Europe." " That's incredible." " I know, I know." "You know how they say we're all each other's demons and angels?" "Well, she was literally a Botticelli angel telling me everything would be okay." "How did you meet?" "On the train." "She was sitting next to a weird couple that was fighting so she moved." "She sat right across the aisle from me." "So we started to talk." "She didn't like me much at first." "She's super smart very passionate and beautiful." "And I was so unsure of myself." "I thought everything I said sounded so stupid." "Oh, man." "I wouldn't worry about that." "No, I'm sure she was not judging you." "No, and by the way, she sat next to you." "I'm sure she did it on purpose." "Oh, yeah?" "Us men are so stupid." "We don't understand anything about women." "They act strange, the little I know of them." "Don't they?" "I feel like this is some dream world we're in." "Yeah, it's so weird." "It's like our time together is just ours." "It's our own creation." "It must be like I'm in your dream and you're in mine." "And what's so cool is that this whole evening all our time together, shouldn't officially be happening." "Yeah, I know." "Maybe that's why this feels so otherworldly." "But then the morning comes and we turn into pumpkins, right?" "I know." "But now, you're supposed to produce the glass slipper and see if it fits." "It'll fit." "This friend of mine had a kid...  ...and it was a home birth, so he was there helping out." "But he said at that profound moment of birth he was watching his child experiencing life for the first time trying to take its first breath." "All he could think about was that he was looking at something that was gonna die someday." "He couldn't get it out of his head." "And I think that's so true." "Everything is so finite." "But don't you think that's what makes our time and specific moments so important?" "Yeah, I know." "It's the same for us tonight, though." "After tomorrow, we'll probably never see each other again, right?" "You don't think we'll ever see each other?" "What do you think?" "Actually, I don't know." "I hadn't planned another..." "Me too." "I live in Paris, you live in the U.S. I understand." "I'd hate to make you fly." "You'd hate to fly, right?" "I'm not so scared of flying." "I mean, I could." "Well, if you were gonna or if, you know, if I..." "I mean, I could come back here." "What?" "No, let's just be rational adults about this." "We should try something different." "It's not so bad if tonight is our only night, right?" "People exchange numbers, addresses." "They end up writing once, calling each other twice." "Right." "Fizzles out." "Yeah, I don't want that." "I hate that." "I hate that too." "Why does everybody think relationships should last forever?" "Yeah, why?" "It's stupid." "But you think tonight's it?" "I mean, that tonight's our only night?" "It's the only way, no?" "Well, all right." "Let's do it." "No delusions, no projections." "We'll just make tonight great." "Let's do that." "We should do some kind of handshake." "Give me your hand." "To our one and only night together and the hours that remain." "What?" "It's just..." "It's depressing, no?" "Now, the only thing we're gonna think of is when we'll have to say goodbye." "We could say goodbye now." "Then we won't worry about it." "Now?" "Say goodbye." " Bye." " Goodbye." "Au revoir." " Later." " Later, yeah." "Here's the plan." "You're gonna grab the glasses, and I'm gonna get the wine." " Red wine." " Red wine." "Right." " You think you can do that?" " No problem." " Wish me luck." " Good luck." "Hello." "Do you speak English?" " A bit." " Yeah?" "A bit?" "I'm having kind of an odd situation which is that..." "You see that girl over there?" "Well, this is our only night together and she..." "The problem is that she wants a bottle of red wine and I don't have any money." "But I was thinking that you might want to give me the address of this bar, and I would promise to send you the money, and you'd be making our night complete." "You would send me the money?" "Your hand?" "For the greatest night in your life." "Thank you very much." "So often I've been with people and shared beautiful moments like traveling or staying up all night and watching the sunrise." "And I knew those were special moments." "But something was always wrong." "I wished I'd been with someone else." "I knew that what I was feeling exactly what was so important to me, they didn't understand." "But I'm happy to be with you." "You couldn't know why a night like this is so important to my life right now but it is." "This is a great morning." "It is a great morning." "Do you think we have others like this?" "What about our rational, adult decision?" "Oh, yeah." "I know what you mean about wishing somebody wasn't there." "It's just, usually, it's myself that I wish I could get away from." "Seriously, think about this." "I have never been anywhere that I haven't been." "I've never had a kiss when I wasn't one of the kissers." "You know, I've never gone to the movies when I wasn't there in the audience." "I've never been out bowling if I wasn't there making some stupid joke." "That's why so many people hate themselves." "Seriously." "It's just, they are sick to death of being around themselves." "Let's say that you and I were together all the time." "You'd start to hate a lot of my mannerisms." "The way the way every time that we would have people over I'd be insecure, and I'd get a little too drunk." "Or the way I tell the same stupid, pseudo-intellectual story again and again." "You see, I've heard all those stories so of course I'm sick of myself." "But being with you it's made me feel like I was somebody else." "I mean, the only other way to lose yourself like that is you know, dancing or alcohol or drugs, or stuff like that." "Fucking." "Fucking, yeah." "That's one way." "Do you know what I want?" "What?" "To be kissed." "Well, I could do that." "Wait." "I have to say something stupid." "All right." "It's very stupid." "I don't think we should sleep together." "I want to, but since we're never going to see each other again it'll make me feel bad." "I'll wonder who else you're with." "I'll miss you." "I know." "It's not very adult." "Maybe it's a female thing." "I can't help it." "Let's see each other again." "No, I don't want you to break our vow just so you can get laid." "I don't want to just get laid." "I want to..." "I mean..." "I mean, I think we should." "We die in the morning, right?" " I think we should." " Then it's like some male fantasy." "Meet a French girl, fuck her and never see her again." "And have this great story to tell." "I don't want this great evening to just have been for that." "Okay, we don't have to have sex." "It's not a big deal." "You don't want to see me again?" "No, of course I do." "If somebody gave me the choice right now of to never see you again or to marry you I would marry you." "Maybe that's a lot of romantic bullshit but people have gotten married for a lot less." "Actually I think I decided I wanted to sleep with you when we got off the train." "Now that we've talked so much, I don't know anymore." "Why do we make everything so complicated?" "I don't know." "What's the first thing you'll do when you get back to Paris?" "Call my parents." "What about you?" "I don't know." "I'll probably go pick up my dog." "He's with a friend." "You have a dog?" "I love dogs." " You do?" " Yeah." " Oh, shit." " What?" "I don't know." "We're back in real time." "I know." "I hate that." "What is that?" "Sounds like a harpsichord." "Check that out." "Somebody's playing." "That's cool." "Can we dance to the harpsichord?" "Of course." "Oh, wow." "I'm gonna take your picture so I never forget you or all this." "Okay, me too." ""The years shall run like rabbits. "" "What?" "Nothing." "I have this recording of Dylan Thomas reading a W. H. Auden poem." "He's got a great voice." "It's like..." ""All the clocks in the city" "Began to whirr and chime:" "'O let not Time deceive you" "You cannot conquer Time." "In headaches and in worry" "Vaguely life leaks away" "And Time will have his fancy" "Tomorrow or today. '"" "Something like that." "That's good." "When you talked earlier about after a few years how a couple would begin to hate each other by anticipating their reactions or getting tired of their mannerisms." "I think it would be the opposite for me." "I think I can really fall in love when I know everything about someone." "The way he's gonna part his hair which shirt he's gonna wear that day knowing the exact story he'd tell in a given situation." "I'm sure that's when I know I'm really in love." " Hey, guess what." " What?" "We didn't go to those guys' play." "Play?" "The cow?" "Oh, yeah, we didn't." "Oh, no." "We missed it." "You know what bus to take to the airport?" "No problem." " I should get on this one." " Right here." "You wanna get on there?" "I guess this is it, no?" "I really..." " You know..." " Yeah, I know." "Me too." "Have a great life." "Have fun with everything you're gonna do." "Good luck with school and all that." "I hate this." "Me too." "The train is about to leave." "You know all this bullshit we're talking about not seeing each other?" "I don't want that." "I don't either." " You don't?" " I waited for you to say it." "Why didn't you say something?" "I was afraid you didn't wanna see me." "What do you wanna do?" "Maybe we should meet here in five years or something." "Five years?" "That's a long time." "It's awful." "It's like a sociological experiment." " How about one year?" " One year." " How about six months?" " Six months?" "It's gonna be freezing." "Who cares?" "We come here, we go somewhere else." "Six months from now or last night?" "Last night." "Six months from last night, which was June 16th." "So track nine, six months from now at 6:00 at night." "December." "It's a train ride for you, but I gotta fly all the way here." "But I'm gonna be here." " Okay, me too." " All right." "We won't call, write or..." "No, it's depressing." "Your train's gonna leave." "Say goodbye." "Bye." "Goodbye." "Au revoir." "Later."