"(Amelia) We're in the back of the store." "Dad has just given me two pennies." "I liked to hide them in this big crack in the floorboards." "I'm saving them so I can buy a town." "That's what I tell my big brother Derek anyway." "Two guys come in." "They'd already pulled a gun." "(Speaks indistinctly)" "They'd already taken the money." "And now they want his watch." "(Elevator bell dings)" "Hey, Coop." "Amelia?" "Morning, Addie." "Let me grab some coffee, then I'll be back." "(Singsongy) I have news." "Hey, everybody." "Coffee." "I need coffee." "(Liquid pours)" "Okay, I took all the coffee, but I will make a fresh pot." "Wow." "Okay, hi." "Sheldon." "Sheldon." "What?" "Do you guys know already?" "Was Ryan here or something?" "I'm engaged." "Hello!" "(Laughs)" "Whoa." "What the hell was that?" "(Violet) We called the police." "And every hospital in L.A." "And the morgue." "Why?" "Because we thought you were dead." "Why would you think I was dead?" "Because no one has seen you." "What are you talking about?" "I miss a couple of days of work and suddenly I'm... 12." "What?" "You missed 12 days of work." "No one has seen you in 12 days." "12 days?" "(Charlotte) Amelia." "What are you on?" "What are you talking about?" "Are you high right now?" "Private Practice S05E08-E09 "Who We Are"-"The Breaking Point"" "Subtitulos.es ==DIFUNDE LA PALABRA==" "Look, okay... (Exhales)" "I was..." "On drugs." "I was." "I slipped." "I went on kind of a bender, and it..." "Well, it was scary." "It was really scary." "For a minute, I thought, um," "I thought I was going over the edge." "And then even Ryan got worried about me." "(Sighs) He says there's partying and then there's..." "What I was doing was scary." "So he dragged me to a meeting... many meetings, a lot of meetings... and I am so grateful to him for that because he helped me." "You know, he helped." "And I didn't realize that it was 12 days, and I can just imagine what all of you thought, and I am so sorry that you thought I was dead." "Addie, I am so sorry, but that's what I was doing." "I was going to meetings and I was getting right with my higher power and I was just being sober every day." "(Exhales deeply)" "You're okay?" "I'm okay." "I mean, I'm gonna have to go to two or three meetings a day for as long as it takes, but I'm good." "I swear." "I was lucky." "Oh, I was so worried about you." "I know." "Thank you for worrying." "But you didn't need to." "Ryan saved me." "I mean, he helped." "Now apparently, I have a lot of work to catch up on, so I will talk to you guys later." "(Exhales deeply)" "Oh, that's a relief." "(Sam) I know." "I thought that, uh... she's lying." "She is lying." "Charlotte, she... she seemed okay to me." "That's because you're not an addict." "(Sam) She didn't seem strung out." "You'd be surprised at how adept an addict can be at hiding their addiction." "I toyed with the idea of specializing in addiction before I chose fertility." "We have to do something." "If she's lying." "(Cooper) Charlotte... (Clears throat) Is it..." "Possible..." "I mean, is it just possible, given your history, that you're blowing this out of proportion?" "Because of my history, I know the games, the secrets, and the lies." "And I am telling you, that girl is using." "(Mary j." "Blige's "ain't nobody" playing)" "¶ Oh" "¶ ah" "¶ ain't nobody" "¶ ain't nobody" "¶ no, ooh" "I've never been in love." "¶ Ooh" "I've loved..." "My mother, my brother, my sisters, friends... ¶ Oh my father." "¶ That's the way it was" "I've loved, I've been loved." "¶ It happened so naturally" "I mean, I'm not saying... (Sighs)" "I know what love is." "I just... ¶ Holdin' me close" "I've never been in love." "I've never... ¶ I let myself go ¶" "¶ now we're flyin' through the stars ¶" "I love you." "¶ I hope this night will last forever ¶" "¶ oh, oh, oh, oh" "¶ ain't nobody" "¶ nobody" "I'm in love with you, okay?" "¶ Ain't nobody ¶ can make me feel this way" "Don't freak out or leave me." "¶ Ooh, and first you put your arms around me ¶" "¶ then you put your charms around me ¶" "Do you want to get married?" "¶ I can't resist this sweet surrender ¶" "Are you serious?" "¶ Oh, my nights are warm and tender ¶" "I mean, we can't get married." "I mean, that's insane." "It's not." "Amelia, I'll never leave you." "I'm in love with you, too." "¶ No surprise" "¶ got a feeling most would treasure ¶" "(laughs) Oh, my God." "We're getting married?" "You have to say yes." "(Chuckles)" "¶ Nobody ¶ loves me better" "Yes." "Yes." "¶ This way" "Yes." "Yes." "¶ Ain't nobody ¶ ain't nobody" "¶ loves me better" "¶ no, no, there ain't no" "¶ ain't nobody" "¶ ain't nobody, no, no, no" "¶ makes me feel this way ¶ oh" "(exhales)" "Coop." "Yeah." "Come take these from me, please." "(Knocks on doorframe)" "She's in the parking lot." "(Elevator bell dings)" "Hey." "Morning." "Can we talk to you for a minute?" "Who's we?" "Hello." "Hi, Amelia." "I'm Lenny." "Does she have a brain tumor, a giant carcinoma that she wants me to excise?" "That had better be what is going on here, because..." "Amelia, everybody here cares about you, and they'd like you to stay and listen to what they have to say." "Will you do that?" "(Blows air)" "An intervention?" "An intervention?" "Okay." "You know what?" "I have patients to see." "(Lenny) There are no patients coming today." "Today is about you." "Are you freaking kidding me?" " Amelia..." " Doctor." "Dr. Shepherd, and I know how an intervention works." "You're not the one who talks." "You are just the party planner." "One of you... one of you is supposed to have the guts to speak up instead of hiding behind this chick." "One of you has to have the balls to say something to me." "Do you?" "Any of you?" "Okay." "Great intervention." "I have been intervened upon." "I will see you tomorrow." "(Bell dings)" "I'm not letting you leave." "Sheldon." "I'm not letting you leave." "(Lenny) Addison." "She's upset." "She has a right to be upset." " Addison..." " She thinks she's being ambushed." "I'm just saying that I'm not sure this is the right way to go." "Do you want to do this?" "Then you can." "You can do this." "Amelia, get off the elevator." "Screw both of you." "If you don't get off the elevator, I will fire you." "Then I quit." "Amelia..." "Amelia, get off the elevator, or I'll call the police on you." "And tell them what?" "And tell them you've been writing prescriptions for your own personal drug use." "You don't know what you're talking about." "Yeah, actually, I do." "Okay." "Fine." "I will stay at the practice." "Amelia..." "I said I would stay at the practice." "I did not say I would hang out with you." "(Addison) This isn't working." "(Lenny) A united front." "She just walked out." "So go after her." "You have to be in this." "You can't just come along for the ride." "There are times that you're gonna have to steer the ship." "We're using sailing..." "(Laughs) Metaphors now?" "I mean, can I just..." "what are the qualifications for this anyway?" "Are you even..." "I mean, is there a certification for this?" "Are you qualified to do this?" "Addison... we all agreed." "Fine." "I'll go." "(Objects clattering)" "Look, I know..." "This is..." "Would you just listen to what everyone has to say?" "Addison, I got sober young." "And then I spent the bulk of my 20s in a library, studying my ass off... college, med school, residency, neuro fellowship." "So now I wanted to have some fun." "I made a mistake, and now I'm fine." "I would think you'd get that." "I do." "I get that." "But... you are an addict," "Amelia." "You down a bottle of wine with every meal." "You drink when you're happy and when you're sad and when it's Tuesday." "Should we do an intervention about your alcoholism?" "I don't have a problem." "That's the difference here." "I don't need to drink." "I haven't had a drink in months." "Yeah, because the only thing you're more addicted to than booze is having a baby, which is sad, because, hell, you're friggin' barren." "You waited too long, and your junk dried up, and you've ruined any man who would want to even consider impregnating you." "Poor Derek." "Poor mark." "You aborted his kid, right?" "And now you've got Sam, and at least he's smart enough to not want to try and breed with you, because let's be honest... not even Rosemary's baby would want to live amongst the tumbleweeds in your uterus." "Mm." "Amelia..." "Dude, seriously?" "I barely know you." "What are you even doing here?" "You're right." "You don't know me." "I'm here because we all agreed we would be here." "And I'm here because you don't get how lonely most people are." "See, most people, they just go to work." "They go to work, they come home, maybe they have friends." "But on any given day, they're not sharing as much or caring as much or giving as much as all of you give to each other on a... on an average Wednesday." "So, yes, you're right, I don't know you." "But I know that you have a family here and I see that you're destroying it." "If you continue down this path, you won't just go down alone, Amelia." "You'll take all the people that love you down with you." "What do we do now?" "Do we just, like, leave, or is it..." "Coop." "No, I'm just saying, she's not listening." "She's not listening." "(Violet) I'm not in favor of this." "Research shows that group confrontational strategies with alcohol and drug abusers do not work." "She's going to go into withdrawal soon." "What?" "She's using." "At a certain point, she's going to go into withdrawal." "That's our chance." "We just have to keep her here till that happens." "Yeah, but she's not high right now." " Yes, she is." " No, she's not." "She is." "She is." "She'll be coming through those doors any minute." "Her high will be on its way out, and we stand between her and getting out of here to get more drugs." "She'll be a little bit sweaty, irritable, twitchy, tweaking." "My guess is, she's an oxy girl?" "Nothing like oxycodone to turn a nice girl into bitch on wheels." "(Groans)" "Any minute..." "She's coming through those doors." "(Footsteps approach)" "Whatever you have to say, spit it out so I can go." "I don't have all day." "(Muffled voice) My watch?" "No." "You have the money." "Just take it and go." "(Cocks gun) Just... go." "(Amelia screams) (Derek) Shh." "(Amelia) My mom gave my dad that watch." "It was a symbol of their life together..." "(Watch hands clanking)" "Of how much she loved him." "Okay." "Okay." "Everyone's gonna take turns talking now." "And they're all here because they want to help you." "So try to keep that in mind." "This is not about anyone judging you." "(Laughs)" "This is..." "okay, lady." "You have clearly never met these people." "(Addison) Amelia..." "fine." "Who's talking first?" "Perfect." "Shrink talk." "My favorite." "So, um, we're not... we're not close, so I don't have anything personal to..." "Uh, I was just gonna ask you if you're feeling okay." "You're sweating and your foot is shaking." "And you're aging and your husband hates you." "So, you know, things could be worse for me." "(Pete) A-Amelia..." "it's okay." "Pete." "It's okay." "She's scared." "She's lashing out." "I've had patients that are angrier than you and sicker than you, so I can take it." "Awesome." "Are you lookin' for applause, as usual?" "Amelia..." "it's okay, Pete." "No, I-it's not okay." "Honestly, Pete, all I have been able to think since I saved your pathetic life is, was it worth it?" "'Cause you're kind of a tool." "I mean, maybe saving you was a waste of my energy." "Maybe it was a waste of my mad, mad surgical skills." "Maybe you're a waste of life." "Maybe angel-of-death dude should call it a day and swallow some pills yourself." "What do you say, cross on over to the other side?" "It'd give your wife some great material for her next book, and she'd love that." "That's her thing... raping her personal experiences for attention." "Oops." "Did I say rape?" "Sorry, Charlotte." "(Exhales deeply)" "(Laughs)" "(Laughs)" "(Both laughing)" "(Continues laughing) Oh, my God." "Are you okay?" "Yeah." "Are you?" "(Pants)" "Yeah." "Oh." "(Laughing) She's like a dog." "She's like..." "She's like a cornered dog." "She's like a cornered, injured... (laughing) Rabid... (Continues laughing)" "Rabid dog." "Oh." "Oh." " Oh." " Oh." "(Exhales)" "(Exhales)" "(Sighs)" "(Door opens)" "You two all right?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Did she shoot anyone yet?" "(Sighs)" "Not yet." "Look, I can't ask everyone, because we're in the middle of it, but..." "I think it's time." "Violet?" "Why is it all on me?" "You're the shrink." "(Sighs)" "Do it." "Is this all there is, your big intervention..." "just screwed up people telling me how screwed up I am?" "Because last I checked, I'm a world-class neurosurgeon with a near-perfect surgical record." "So if you want to intervene, fine." " I can go all day." " Can you?" "Go all day?" "Are we talking in riddles now?" "Are you the riddler?" "(Chuckles) Are you riddling me stuff right now?" "Because I might need a pen to write this down." "(Laughs) I gotta admit," "I'm kind of loving you right now." "I am loving you." "You are winning better than Charlie Sheen..." "As long as I overlook the fact that you're a giant oxy addict who's killing herself." "Everyone here is in agreement." "You will no longer be enabled." "Enabled?" "Is that one of your special S.A.T. Words?" "I'll change the locks." "Until you get help, I'll change the locks." "You can't live at my house anymore." "I will change the locks." "I will throw you out." "Then I will call in your mother and your brother and your sisters, and then I will call the medical board and report you, because I love you, Amelia, but I will not love you to death." "Water?" "Bupe." "Nice little drug." "You dissolve it in water." "It'll make withdrawal symptoms go away immediately." "It'll also prevent any drugs from getting me high for 72 hours." "Excellent work." "Big pharma has done us all a favor." "Amelia, please." "It could help you." "(Pete) It'll at least give you a chance to hear us without being high, without going through withdrawal." "I told you, I'm drug free." "I have been for five days." "I am not going through withdrawal." "I'm clean." "Well, then take the bupe." "Amelia, we all love you." "It..." " It'll help you feel better." " Give it a shot." "Then we can talk you through this." "Please." "You want me to stay and listen so that I can get sober?" "(Charlotte) Yes." "Okay." "Fine." "Get me some oxy." "Score me some oxy..." "And then I will stay as long as you want." "Why don't you come back to bed?" "I want to give you something..." "'Cause we're engaged." "(Mary J. Blige's "25/8" playing)" "I didn't give you anything." "¶" "You give me love." "¶" "And you'll give me a ring..." "At some point, when we put on clothes and leave this room." "¶" "Here it is." "¶ I can love you with my eyes closed ¶" "¶ I see your heart through a blindfold ¶" "It was my dad's." "My mom saved up for three years to buy it." "¶ Baby, ain't no way" "You like it?" "This is amazing." "I-I love it." "Amelia, you don't have to..." "You give me love." "And you don't judge, or try to change me." "And you make me feel..." "Beautiful." "¶ 'Cause I got days and days" "¶ oh, days and days of love" "Come back to bed." "Let's get high first, okay?" "Okay." "¶ Days and days of love" "If she gets on that elevator, it's over." "(Charlotte) She can't leave." "We lose her if she leaves." "Are we seriously considering doing this?" "Okay, what if... what if we make her worse?" "We don't know what's in her system already." "We could cause an overdose." "We're talking about giving her 40 milligrams of oxycodone, not shooting her up with heroin." "Look, we're eight doctors in a medical office." "She'll be more than monitored." "No, no." "We're not doing this." "We're... we're not supporting her drug habit." "Just because she lacks discipline and... and is acting like a child..." "She is an addict." "She has a disease." "It's a disease, Sam." "(Pete) Okay, all right." "Well, I think we should take a vote." "All those in favor of giving her oxy?" "Seriously?" "Just me." "I don't..." "I shouldn't vote." "Thank you." "Who else?" "I mean, I'm here to support Addison." "If she votes for drugs, I'll vote for drugs." "(Addison) Thank you." "Who else?" "I think it's dangerous." "You people..." "You have no idea what you're doing to her." "And you." "What kind of doctor are you?" "You should know better." "(Sam) Hey." "Look, we have a difference of opinion, all right?" "It happens around here all the time." "You're about a century behind in your thinking." "You think addicts should, what, be locked up, institutionalized instead of treated?" "I think that Amelia should take responsibility for her actions." "You think Pete should take responsibility for his heart attack?" "Uh, that's not the same thing." "Why not?" "Because Pete has heart disease." "Amelia has a disease, too." "That's your opinion." "Look..." "Jake, we both know that that is up for debate in the medical community, all right?" "The whole disease model comes from A.A., where the first thing they try to do is get people to admit that they're powerless against their addiction." "Because drugs function differently in their bodies." "Addiction is a threefold disease." "It's a "disease" that doesn't fire up unless you take the drugs." "(Sighs) Amelia has control over that, right?" "I mean, she made a choice the first time she took those drugs, just like she has a choice today." "(Scoffs) Wow." "You think people choose that misery?" "You think they... you think they choose that life?" "You think they want to be licking drugs off of bathroom floors and neglecting their kids and destroying their husbands and killing themselves?" "You think anyone who is not in the throes of a disease would consciously do that to themselves?" " Is that what you think?" " Jake." "What?" "Are you okay?" "Do you want to talk?" "No. (Clears throat)" "You think it'd be all right if, uh..." "Yeah, yeah, there's lots of us in there." "I guess I hit a nerve." "Yeah, well..." "There's a lot of those flying around today." "Kinda hard to avoid." "(Sighs)" "We should probably get back in there." "(Chuckles) Do we have to?" ""You are someone's child, Amelia." "That's all I keep thinking."" "(Groans)" ""I don't care how old you are, you are always someone's child." ""I work with kids all day." "I see that love." "I have to give news to parents every day"..." ""Leukemia, cancer, kids with diseases..."" "Give me my drugs." "I want my drugs." "Give me my drugs." "I want my drugs. (Mouths words)" " Give me my drugs." " "Kids with diseases..."" " What do we want?" "Drugs." " "There's no worse news."" "When do we want 'em?" "Now." "What do we want?" "Drugs." ""It's killing me to see what this disease" " is doing to you." " When do we want 'em?" "Now." " What do we want?" "Drugs." " "There are things that you could do to treat your disease"..." " When do we want 'em?" "Now." " "And get your life back"..." " What do we want?" "Drugs." " "And you're not doing them."" " When do we want 'em?" "Now." " "You owe it to the" " people who love you to try to get well." " What do we want?" "Drugs." " When do we want 'em?" "Now." " You at least have to try, because you are someone's kid and because you're my friend." "When do we want 'em?" "Now!" "What do we want?" "Drugs!" "When do we want 'em?" "Now!" "What do we want?" "Drugs!" "When do we want 'em?" "Now!" "What do we want?" "Drugs!" "When do we want 'em?" "Now!" "Thank you, ladies and gentlemen!" "My next show will be in five minutes!" "Addison, where are you going?" "What does she want?" "Drugs." "When does she want them?" "Now." "We agreed that we wouldn't." "I didn't." "I didn't agree." "Addison..." "That... that thing in there?" "That used to be a person, okay?" "And she was sweet and she was funny, and I took her to get her ears pierced, and I-I-I-I did her hair for her for prom, and I told her all about birth control when she didn't know who to ask," "and we were sisters, you know?" "We were closer than sisters." "Now she's..." "That used to be Amelia Shepherd." "That used to be someone that I love, and I want her back." "And if it means me giving her some oxy so she can shut up and listen, so she doesn't get on that elevator?" "Great." "Fine." "I'll be her drug dealer." "I just want her back." "Where are you going?" "To get the keys to the drug dispensary." "Outta my way, Sam." "You have a tough life?" "Everybody's life is tough." "Life comes with pain." "Sometimes that pain is unthinkable, but that... that's no excuse to throw it away like this." "Everybody here has been through hell and back..." "Pete, Violet, Charlotte." "We're not using." "I swear to God, Sam..." "Shut up!" "You want to stop being a drug ad... you..." "This is how you stop being a drug addict." "Stop using drugs!" "Grow up!" "Take some responsibility for yourself." "That's my girl." "Addie..." "Gotta love that woman of yours, Sam." "Of course, we all know you can't commit, so maybe you don't gotta, but I do." "(Violet) Addison... we talked about this." "Absolutely not." "What the hell are you thinking?" "She's thinking that Amelia's in trouble," " and if we let her leave..." " Thank you, Addison." "Oh, no." "Here." "What?" "You want to do your drugs, you do 'em here, in front of all these people who care about you." "Show them who you really are." "Or don't do the drugs at all, and show them who you want to be." "It's your choice." "(Bangs stapler)" "(Bang)" "(Sniffs)" "(Sniff)" "Ahh." "(Sniffles and exhales)" "Sure as I'm sitting here, if you keep up at this, you're gonna kill someone." "You're gonna walk into some O.R., you're gonna get behind the wheel of a car..." "You're gonna kill someone, Amelia." "That's where this goes." "And when you do..." "When you do that, you don't come back from it." "Maybe you get sober..." "But you don't come back." "You spend every day trying to be a better person, trying to save a life, trying to make it right." "But you can't give that mother back her child or that husband back his wife." "You walk and you talk and you breathe, and sometimes you even smile or laugh..." "But you don't come back." "Okay, I gotta ask." "What is the point of this now?" "She's so high, she can't even listen to us." "(Amelia) I'm listening." "What Charlotte said was very beautiful..." "And real." "And I worry about that." "I do." "Just give us 30 days... 30 days to get you clean and sober... then you can start over again." "A clean slate." "(Voice breaking) That sounds nice, but I..." "I don't think I can do it." "Oh, you can." "You can." "I know you can." "We'll help you." "I'll help you." "Amelia, please." "(Amelia sniffles)" "There's a great rehab facility." "They have a bed waiting for you." "It's... it's right near the ocean." "(Breathes shakily)" "(Sniffles)" "Will you come, too?" "I'll come see you every day." "I'll..." "I will." "I'll be there." "(Sniffles)" "I'll be there." "Yeah, I will." "(Sniffles)" "(Elevator bell dings)" "Ryan." "Oof." "Oh!" "(Sam) You need to go." "Sam..." "No." "He's gotta go." "Leave." " Ryan and I are getting married." " Now." " Don't speak to him like that." " You realize... you'll never get sober if you stay with him, ever." "Amelia's addiction is not Ryan's fault." "As a matter of fact, Ryan, if you want to get sober," " we'll help you, too." " No, no, we won't." "(Violet) Yes, we will, if that's what it takes." "No, our commitment, our concern is for Amelia." "I know, and she will do better if the person she loves is also in the program, is getting sober as well." " There's studies on this." " Sheldon, back me up." "Okay, I just think we need to discuss this before we s..." "I think what Violet and Lenny said is right." "I believe we can help anyone who wants to get sober." "He didn't say he wants to get sober." "You gave him your father's watch?" "Amelia." "Amelia, look at me." "It's his engagement present." "It's your father's watch." "Leave me alone." "Maybe just give her a little bit of space..." "This is none of your business!" "I am speaking to my sister!" " I'm not your sister." " Look at this." "You took this from your mother?" "Do you know how that's gonna make her feel?" "(Lenny) Okay, let's, everyone, calm down." "What is the significance of the watch?" " Nothing." "It's a watch." " Amelia." "My mom gave it to my dad for their anniversary one year." " That is not the significance." " Addison..." "It's not, and you know it's not, Sam." "Amelia." "Two guys came into her father's store" " when she was 5 year..." "Shut up!" "(Sam) Whoa." "You do not tell that story!" "That is not your story!" "He was not your dad!" "He was my dad!" "You shut your mouth!" "Shut up, you stupid, ignorant monster bitch!" "You do not tell that story." "You do not ever tell that story." "You ever tell that story to anyone..." "(Speaks indistinctly)" "And I will kill you with my bare hands." "(Sobs) (Ryan speaks indistinctly)" "Let's go." "I want to go." "(Sniffles and cries)" "Come on." "Please..." "Stay." "Sheldon..." "I will never love you back." "You get that, right?" "(Elevator bell dings)" "(Doors open)" "It was nice to see you all." "Hope to see you all again real soon when things calm down." "(Pushes button)" "(Amelia) We're in the back of the store." "Dad has just given me two pennies." "Two guys come in." "We can hear them talking." "But we don't pay attention until dad yells." "(Men speaking indistinctly)" "(Amelia screams)" "Shh." "Two guys shot my dad for his watch." "(Gunshot)" "(Jingles)" "Your... your friends, um..." "No one's ever tried to save me like that." "No one's ever cared enough." "And I've never been around anyone like you before." "You make me want..." "Your mom gave your dad this watch for their anniversary." "I want to have anniversaries with you, lots of 'em, and kids." "If we were sober, we could have kids, and a life." "We could have a life, too." "You want kids?" "We'd have to be clean." "My father was a cokehead, and I won't..." "I..." "I can't." "We have to be clean." "Okay." "Do you want to get sober with me?" "Yeah." "(Both laugh)" "Let's get sober together." "This is great." "This is gonna be so great." "It is." "I can get the names of some rehab places, and we go in together and we go out together." "This is a commitment." "This is important." "Can you do this?" "'Cause if you can't, we can al..." "I can do it." "I can." "(Laughs)" "We should probably flush these." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Or..." "One last time?" "I don't..." "I don't know." "Okay." "Okay, flush 'em." "One last time." "(Crinkling baggie)" "So how many kids do you want?" "Three." "Two boys..." "And a girl." "How about four?" "(Taps object)" "Two boys, two girls... that way, no one gets lonely." "Deal?" "Deal." "(Voice distorts) You are so gorgeous." "(Cooper) What now?" "(Lenny) Now you have to cut her off." "When Amelia calls, and she will call, unless she's ready for help, you don't give her a ride." "You don't give her money or a place to stay or her job back." "The only call you can respond to is Amelia calling you for help to get off drugs." "That's it." "It's up to her now." "This was a bad idea." " This is what works." " But it didn't work." "(Pete) She's out on the street." "Doing God knows what." "(Cooper) Yeah, with Ryan." "We lost her." "No, I lost her." "I lost her." "You don't know that." "We started something for her today." "Progress was made." "You may not see it." "Sometimes it takes time." "Results aren't always immediate." "Sometimes... an addict actually has to hit rock bottom." "(Scoffs, voice breaks) Amelia snorting oxycodone off the reception desk doesn't qualify as rock bottom?" "15 years, 3 months, and 4 days ago," "I took my 5-year-old son to the park." "He was on the swings, having so much fun." "It was a beautiful day." "The sun was shining." "He had other kids to play with." "We had all afternoon." "He was on the swings." "He was okay." "I knew he was, 'cause I could hear him laughing as I was shooting the tenner of heroin I had on me." "I passed out." "I came to an hour or so later, and my son was gone." "They never found him." "(Mary j." "Blige) ¶ I don't understand" "Honey, that is rock bottom." "¶ You" "(laughs)" "She called last week and invited me to come for a visit." "And she actually suggested that I-I stay in the dorm room down the hall." "(Chuckles) Can you see it?" "Me and a bunch of college freshmen doing what, beer bongs?" "I told her, look, I'll come, but I'm gonna stay at the four seasons." "She misses you." "But..." "I don't want you to worry, 'cause I'm taking care of her." "And I know she's yours," "I know that..." "She's not mine." "She has a real dad." "But..." "That guy, Lily, man..." "There's nothing real about him." "I miss you." "I miss you, too." "Still." "Every day." "¶ Well, I found you out" "But, you know, for the first time since you..." "Since you left," "I found some people that, um..." "Well, I got a job that..." "I like it." "I like these people." "I like this job." "I'm less..." "I feel less alone." "¶ Someone to love you" "I hope you're not alone, baby." "I hope that, uh... ¶ Someone to love you" "I hope you found some peace." "¶ When you look at me" "I remember that..." "Whenever you were trying to get clean, you..." "You used to eat crullers... a lot of crullers." "¶ Well, I found you out" "¶ discovered your secrets" "I hope you're clean, baby." "¶ Oh, honey" "¶ it ain't a sin" "I brought you some crullers." "¶ You" "(sighs)" "¶ Need someone to love you" "¶ you need someone to hold you" "¶ tonight" "(voice echoing) Ryan." "¶ Love you" "Ryan?" "Ryan?" "¶ Oh, someone to love you (Watch hands clanking)" "(Crying, voice continues echoing) Ryan?" "Ryan?" "Ryan!" "Ryan!" "Ryan!" "(Sobs) Ryan!" "(Crying)" "¶ Yeah" "Ryan!" "(Phone rings)" "(Dispatcher speaks indistinctly)" "(Voice echoing) Ma'am, do you know where you are?" "Can you give me your name?" "¶ ..." "Help to be" "Four kids." "Two boys, two girls." "You can't die, because we're getting clean and we're having a family." "(Crying) Ryan?" "Ryan?" "Ryan?" "Ryan?" "¶ Ooh (Clank)" "Ryan!" "(Amelia crying) Ryan!" "(Sobbing)" "Ryan!" "¶ But you" "¶ you need someone to love you" "Don't touch him!" "We're getting married." "We're getting married." "(Sobs)" "(Crying) Two guys shot my dad for his watch." "I've never told anyone that before." "(Pants)" "¶ Someone to love you" "¶ someone to love you" "Ma'am, is there anyone you want me to call?" "¶ Someone to love you" "(normal voice) Call Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery." "Tell her I said I'm ready to go to rehab." "¶" "(Fountain trickling)" "(Distorted, indistinct conversations)" "I know you're scared." "But it's just 50 days." "It's the best thing for you." "I'm Amelia Shepherd." "I'm checking in." "(Addison) Amelia's mom, she's as good as it gets." "She is as good as a mother gets." "And it's hard to fathom that you can do everything right, and you still can't control what happens to your kid." "They could still end up in staggering amount of pain, in rehab, fighting for their life." "It's just hard to wrap your head around when you think you might be pregnant." "(Woman) Your recovery experience... (Voice distorts) Is our top priority." "We provide a positive and a nurturing environment as you embark on your addiction treatment." "You'll start in the detox wing, and then we'll move you to a regular room, and you'll be assigned a therapist separate from group therapy, which means every afternoon." "Amelia?" "(Clatters)" "Amelia." "(Object clatters)" "(Normal voice) Amelia, can you hear me?" "(Sighs) It's gonna get worse before it gets better." "But I swear, it gets better." "Okay?" "And if you're hiding any other drugs, now would be a good time to hand them over." "They're gonna find them anyway when you hit the detox bed." "(Exhales)" "(Baggie crinkles)" "The man I love died." "He died." "Okay, eat." "Morning." "He said "pancake."" "Pancake?" "Really?" "Yeah." "Well, it actually sounded more like "pa-kay,"" "but he was definitely going for pancake. (Chuckles)" "Pancake. (Kisses)" "Good job, pal." "Yeah. (Kisses)" " You heading to..." " Yeah." "(Door opens and closes)" "(Violet) We talk about Lucas." "We're good with Lucas." "We're warm with Lucas." "We're..." "We're us with Lucas." "(Inhales deeply) What about you and Sam?" "Oh, we're doing great." "Yeah, as long as we don't talk about pregnancy or anything baby related." "(Laughs)" "All right, will you make sure and tell me as soon as you know" " if you're pregnant?" " I will." "Okay, and, you know, if you ever want someone to complain to," "I'm just..." "I'm down the hall." "Thank you." "Yay!" "(Sighs)" "(Cooper) Does this hurt?" "Ow!" "Okay." "Sorry." "I know this part's no fun." "(Grunts) How about here?" "(Whimpers)" "When did the stomach pain start?" "Just after dinner." "A few hours later, the night attendant reported he developed a fever." "(Grunts)" "All right, Toby." "You're all done." "Let's get you dressed." "Here you go." "(Grunts)" "Okay, I'm gonna step outside, talk to Mr. Davies for a second." "Why didn't you call me, Jim?" "I mean, the group home's only a few miles from my house." "I could've just come right over." "Come on, Cooper." "I have 43 other kids just like Toby." "If I called a doctor every time one of 'em sneezed..." "Look... (Sighs)" "I wish I could do more." "I've placed him in nine different foster homes in those four years." "Nobody wants a sick kid." "Little guy deserves better." "So he was diagnosed with the lupus four years ago, and that could explain the abdominal pain and the fever, but I'm gonna have to do some more tests just to make sure." "Dr. Freedman, I don't feel too good." "Give me those tissues." "Come here." "Have a seat." "You have a bloody nose, Toby." "Lean forward." "Lean forward." "Here." "Okay, just hold that." "This will stop it." "(Moans)" "Let me see." "(Groans)" "(Moans)" "Oh." "Okay, okay." "You're okay." "(Coughing)" "You're gonna be okay." "(Exhales)" "(Knock on door)" "Just say it." "Either way, just say it." "(Exhales)" "You're not pregnant." "I'm..." "Okay." "Look, I, uh, I know you're a doctor, but I'm..." "I'm still going to give you the speech, because even though you know this stuff intellectually, you need to process it emotionally." "You don't have to give me the speech." "I do." "So here it goes." "Something like 6% of women your age get pregnant using I.V.F., okay?" "It's a... it's a small number." "But between your commitment and my experience, we can..." "we can make this happen." "All right?" "There are a number of other options." "So when you decide that you're ready to do this again, we'll get into it." "It's not over, Addison, unless you want it to be." "All right?" "(Mary j." "Blige) ¶ hey" "(crying) I want my mom." "I need something to help." "Oh, my God." "I want my mommy." "Hey." "Ow. (Retches)" "Hey." "Hey, can you hear me?" "It hurts." "Yeah, I know." "¶ Sad it has to be like that" "What's your name?" "(Whimpers) Hailey." "I'm Amelia." "I want my mom." "I know." "I know." "I want my mom, too." "(Continues crying) It hurts." "Aah!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "There're are bugs on me!" "Oh, my God." " There're all over me." " Listen to me, Hailey." "There's no bugs." "(Panting) There's no bugs on you." "Hailey." "Oh, my God." "Hailey, listen, I'm a doctor and I promise you, there's no bugs on you." "There are." "You're just withdrawing from the drugs." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "Your nerves are firing on their own, and it feels like itchy bugs, but it's not." "It's just a hallucination." "(Continues panting)" "There's no bugs." "It's not real." "Okay?" "The pain is gonna stop." "(Continues panting) There's no bugs?" "No." "Look at me, Hailey." "Do you see any bugs on me?" "Because my skin is crawling, too." "I want to rip my skin off, it is crawling so bad, but do you see any bugs on me?" " No." " Okay." "I'm gonna make you a deal." "If I see any bugs on you, I'm gonna call a nurse." "And if you see them on me, you do the same." "But if we don't see any, it is just our nerves... (Crying)" "Healing from all the crap we shot into them, okay?" "And they need... they need to heal, just like us." "Okay?" "Okay." "(Panting)" "Ah." "Oh." "(Continues panting)" "¶ Hey, yeah" "Can I sit?" "That depends." "Did you bring me one of those?" "Thinking about Ryan again?" "All the time." "Can't stop." "Don't want to." "Yeah." "Yeah, I had a boyfriend who died." "And a best friend, too." "The best friend was worse." "You're 18." "Yeah." "Why do you think my parents sent me here?" "I miss my best friend every day." "She was... (Chuckles) Stupid." "(Laughs) We..." "we were stupid together." "The boyfriend..." "He was a bad influence." "Was Ryan a bad influence?" "No." "He was... (Sighs)" "No, Ryan was... (Exhales)" "I think I was the bad influence." "(Woman) Amelia." "You have a visitor at reception." "Dr. Sheldon Wallace." "Could you tell him that I'm busy?" "Of course." "Thanks." "Who's Sheldon?" "He's a friend." "Then why won't you let him in?" "I said some things." "I, uh..." "I hurt some people." "But they still come to visit you." "No one comes to visit me." "You should let your friends in." "You're my friend." "(Chuckles) I'm 18." "So?" "Hey, is that one of those H.D... (Laughs) Thingies?" "(Chuckles)" "If by hihingie," you mean supercool camera, then yes." "I'm gonna shoot Mason's school play." "Aww. (Charlotte) Which isn't for three weeks." "Hopefully Spielberg here can get the camera working by then." "(Cooper) I will figure it out." "You're just going with the basic equipment?" "You're not bringing a tripod or a boom mic?" "(Laughs)" "Oh." "Boom mic." "Oh, Cooper." "Hold on." "Oh, Cooper." "Cooper, I'm just kidding." "Oh." "(Sighs deeply)" "You know, a lot of women don't get pregnant the first time." "I know." "You have told me many times." "And I'm gonna keep telling you that until you look a little less..." "Less what?" "(Inhales sharply)" "Miserable?" "Desperate?" "(Sighs)" "I was gonna say wistful." "Oh." "God." "Yeah, I am." "I am... wistful." "No need for that." "Even if you don't want to try again yourself, there are other ways to make a family." "Hell, maybe you'll get lucky, find out Sam knocked someone up ten years ago." "(Laughs)" "I'm getting used to the little rug rat." "Mm." "You sound surprised." "Well, it wasn't exactly how I planned it." "Well, when is life ever?" "The point is, you have choices." "Not all of us can say that." "So you think you'll do it?" "I mean, try again?" "I don't know." "Yeah." "I think I am..." "I am." "You know, Sam..." "Had this look of relief when it didn't take the first time." "Pete looks relieved every time I leave the house." "Doesn't stop me from coming home." "(Laughs) Wow." "That is dark." "Are you aware of how dark that sounds?" "For some reason, I'm vaguely comfortable with the dark." "Okay." "I'll hold your hand." "If you want to do it, and Sam doesn't want to," "I will." "Thank you." "(Laughs)" "(Whirring)" "(Panting) So what do you think?" "Limited loss of wall function." "Cardiac output is great." "I'm liking what I'm seeing, Pete." "You sound surprised." "Well, your B.P.'S normal, no dysrhythmias, your cognitive skills post bypass... completely intact." "You are back, Pete." "Back to counting the ten years I have left." "Great." "Oh, no, no." "That's not where you're at." "I mean, there are tons of bypass patients that live 20, 25 years past surgery." "And with these numbers, I don't see why you can't either." "Save it, Sam." "I'm a doctor." "I've read the literature." "Okay, but as a cardiologist, I'm telling you, don't go picking out headstones." "All right, you've got a second chance to live a long life." "Live it." "All right?" "You're lucky." "(Inhales and exhales deeply)" "Thanks." "All right." "I got your message." "How bad is it?" "He's a lot worse off than last week." "His temperature keeps spiking, and he's showing signs of liver failure." "What happened?" "Um..." "I did a blood count, I did a liver biopsy, and, um..." "The lupus has triggered a disease called hemophagocytic lymphohistiocytosis." "What does that mean?" "It means that his immune cells are attacking his own body." "It's very aggressive." "He's gonna need a round of chemo, he's gonna need a stem cell transplant, he's gonna have to stay in the hospital for several weeks." "A stem cell transplant?" "Yeah." "It's very serious, and he could die." "We need to find a stem cell match as soon as possible." "This... this is, uh..." "Well, okay, if it's an insurance question," "I've already contacted medicaid." "But more importantly, Jim, you need to find this kid a foster family." "He can't go through this alone." "We've gone over this, Cooper." "Look, I-I know." "Okay, he needs somebody." "I'm doing everything I can, okay?" "(Sighs)" "I'll be here whenever I can." "(Exhales deeply)" "I need you to sign some consent forms." "(Monitor beeping rhythmically)" "(Both speaking indistinctly)" "What are you doing?" "(Sighs)" "Uh..." "I'm just spying on my woman and your wife." "What are they doing?" "Well, if I had to guess, I would say that Addison is talking about doing another round of I.V.F." "While Violet is... (Chuckles) I'm sorry, man, but you are screwed." "What?" "Why?" "(Chuckles) Violet doesn't do anything halfway generally." "And both of us are looking for anything to distract us from the vast morass of emptiness our marriage has become, so..." "My man..." "Do you know how dark you sound right now?" "(Sighs) Look, my point is, filling Addison's uterus is gonna become like an extreme sport with Violet." "Good luck with that." "(Violet) Well, everything you said makes total sense." "So you think..." "Yes." "I think you sound focused and positive and energized, and that means, for you, you're making the right decision." "Okay." "Do you want me to go with you?" "No, no, I-I'll be okay." "Thank you..." " Okay." " For offering." " Hey." " Hey." "So you're, uh..." " On my way to see Jake." " Right." "(Inhales deeply)" "Okay." "Okay." "L-arginine increases blood flow to the uterus, folic acid, which is obvious, paba, which is a b-complex vitamin..." "I-I-I know what that is." "I'm no stranger to vitamin therapies." "But you don't think, in conjunction with metformin..." "We use metformin for polycystic ovary syndrome." "Yes, but it can also help with Insulin resistance." "Which there's no evidence you have." "Okay, but vitamin therapy, plus metformin, plus H.G.H. Shots..." "Equals crazy." "(Sighs)" "Look, Addison, you don't need to be doing all of this, all right?" "At least not yet." "You have... you have two frozen embryos left." "No, I want fresh eggs, fresh sperm." "I'm taking one last shot at this, Jake, and I want the best possible odds." "You want the best possible odds?" "Yes!" "Relax." "I am relaxed!" "(Blows air)" "(Groans)" "(Knocks on door)" "(Both speak indistinctly)" "Oh." " Ah!" " Okay." "Sorry." "Sorry." " Ow!" " Done." "Why does this part never get easier?" "Is there anything I can do to help or..." "We're at the end of the second week, Sam." "You want to help now?" "No, I know that you and Addison are doing this together." "Well, 'cause you don't want to, right?" "No." "I mean, you don't want to see or hear or talk about the most important thing in" " her life right now..." " Violet." "Why are you mad at me?" "Because I think when you're in a committed relationship, putting your head in the sand is complete and utter bull..." "Violet." "Sam was just trying to be nice." "Right. (Sighs)" "I'm sorry." "I was projecting my own marriage on to your love life." "So, uh, you and Pete..." "We suck." "We just..." "we flat-out suck." "And when I think about how we got here, I wish..." "Well, I mean, I wish a lot of things, but mostly I wish that we hadn't let it get to this place, because, you know, y... you're angry and then you're resentful," "and then things start to change between the two of you, and then before you realize it, you are so far from the couple that you used to be, you don't even know how to get back there, or if you can." "And that's just..." "Yeah, you don't want that." "Violet, have you and Pete ever tried going to couples therapy?" "Uh, no, no, because that would require actually speaking to one another." "(Hailey) I don't want to leave." "I like it here." "Why can't my parents be rich doctors so I can stay here longer?" "(Chuckles)" "Or why can't I have better insurance?" "It's safe here." "(Amelia) But it's not real." "I mean, staying sober here is like... (Inhales deeply)" "Feeling happy at Disneyland." "It's easy. (Exhales)" "You gotta go out there to see what you really got here." "You know, for a girl with all the answers, you're awfully quiet about your own crap." "Wow." "Okay." "You want to be mad?" "Fine." "Be mad." "I'm not mad." "I'm just saying, you do an awful lot of preaching and not much sharing." "You know, just 'cause you're a doctor doesn't mean you're not one of us." "Okay." "Whatever." "I think Hailey has a point, Amelia." "You haven't been opening up much." "I open up." "(Woman) Not to us." "You always have an opinion about our stuff." "Wow." "What is this, a group pile on?" "(Hailey) You didn't kill Ryan." "Excuse me?" "You didn't kill him." "You might have wrote the prescriptions, but he took the drugs himself." "Shut up, Hailey." "And that guilt?" "That's gonna kill you." "That's what killed my best friend." "It was guilt." "Because her mom was so freaked, she had a breakdown" " and her dad left..." " Hailey." "You don't know what the hell you're talking about." "You're a child, and you need to shut up." "Amelia..." "You didn't kill him." "Okay?" "He took the drugs himself." "You didn't make him take them." "He took them himself." "You gotta get that." "Before I leave here, you have to get that, 'cause if you don't, you're not gonna make it." "And I need you to make it." "I know you loved him." "And I know he loved you." "But he took the drugs himself." "(Sobbing)" "(Hits table)" "(Continues sobbing)" "Okay." "(Continues sobbing)" "Now I can leave." "(Mary j." "Blige) ¶ I try my best to keep you here ¶" "(continues sobbing)" "(Lock clicks)" "¶ But it's hard to hold a shadow ¶" "Hey." "(Door closes)" "¶ You said good-bye, but I couldn't hear ¶" "Lucas?" "He's napping." "Oh." "¶ To busy praying for a miracle ¶" "¶ and you left me" "Well, I'm gonna..." "Go jump in the shower." "¶ ..." "Knees" "Yep." "¶ Just walked out the door" "(Cooper) "Where are you going?" "Stop."" "Keep flying." "Keep flying." "That's..." "You're a natural." "Okay, you two, enough rehearsing for today." "You have homework to do." "What if I get nervous and forget my line to the seagulls?" "All you have to do is look at me, and it'll feel just like it does right now, just the two of us here together." "What if I can't find you in the audience?" "You'll be able to find me, because I will be sitting in the front row." "¶ Mm, mm" "¶ boy, I know you had to hear me ¶" "¶ you coulda stopped me then" "¶ and told the truth" "¶ but instead" "Don't use drugs." "¶ ..." "Your head" "Let your friends in." "¶ And you left me on my knees ¶" "¶ yeah" "¶ you just walked out the door" "¶ babe" "¶ you didn't even have" "¶ the decency to intervene" "¶ while I was begging God" "I want a baby and Sam doesn't." "It's that simple." "Now we can talk about it, we can talk around it, we can say things like," ""we'll deal with it when the time comes,"" "but I don't know how we get around the simple fact that I'm in, and Sam's out." "Well, you took the first step by bringing him here." "Sam, what do you think about this?" "Uh, well..." "Honestly, I don't think this is useful..." "For me, at least." "I don't want a baby, and I don't know," "I've..." "I've never been anything but honest about that." "So..." "So what?" "So this isn't my problem." "It's... no, my problem is that I feel like you want to have a baby so badly that you're willing to risk anything for it... your health, uh, your sanity," " my sanity..." " Okay, if it had been... easier to..." "if it had been easier, if I had gotten pregnant immediately, would that have been better?" "(Sighs deeply) If..." " No, but..." " Right." "Wait." "No." "Listen to me." "I love you." "I love you." "I support you." "I want you to be happy." "I want us to have a life together." "The last thing I want to do is give up because of a problem that we don't even have yet." "Yeah, but we are going to have it, Sam, soon." "There is going to be a baby, and even though I'm the one doing all the feeding and the waking up and everything else there is to do at the beginning, it doesn't end there." "It starts there." "You know that." "You're a parent." "I... you have to want to do it." "I do, more than anything." "You don't." "So I-I don't know how it could work." "I don't know how we could work." "Well, I want you." "So long as I don't have a baby." "Well, I want you, Addison." "That's what I want." "¶ I try to my best to keep you here ¶" "¶ but it's hard to hold a shadow ¶" "(door slams)" "I'm glad you were willing to see me." "Why don't you hate me?" "(Inhales deeply)" "After the things I said, you should hate me." "I don't know how to hate you." "I-I..." "I couldn't if I tried, so..." "Where do I go from here?" "What do you mean?" "I mean, I built this life with all of you, with the practice, and then I burned it down." "So when I have to leave this place, I..." "I don't know where I go from here." "I know I'm supposed to try to make amends, but I'm not there." "I'm not ready." "I don't know how to face everyone." "And, I mean, honestly, Sheldon, I can barely even look at you." "There's a sign in back of you." "That seems as good an answer as any I could come up with." "(Footsteps approach)" "Hey, Charlotte." "Do you have patients this afternoon?" "No." "Why?" "I need you to go to Mason's school and save me a seat at his play in... in the front row." "Sorry, Coop." "Can't do it." "Well, you have to." "I just got paged to the hospital." "Coop, I ate pizza with Mason." "I played video games with him." "I even helped the kid with his long division homework, but I draw the line at sitting in the front row of "James and the giant peach"" "with a child that's not even mine." "I will meet you there." "I promise." "Why can't Erica save you a seat?" "Because she's working backstage with the kids on the costumes." "I'm begging you." "My son." "First play ever." "Fine." "But you owe me." "(Kisses) Big-time." "(Cooper) Yeah." "Hey." "You look like 10 miles of bad road." "Charlotte." "You do look a little peaked." "You okay?" "I'm fine." "I just skipped breakfast." "Hi." "Did you see Amelia?" "How's she doing?" "She's making some real progress." "That's good news." "(Addison) It is, especially since some people don't respond well to therapy." "(Sheldon) Well, I hope all of you do, because eventually, she's gonna need us to join her for a group therapy session." "She needs to make amends and..." "Addison!" "Addison!" "(Violet) Oh, my God." "Addison, what's going on?" "All right." "Don't move." "Get Jake, Sheldon." " Yeah, yeah." "I'll..." " Get Jake." "(Sighs) (Toby) No, I don't want to do this!" "What's going on?" "(Woman) I need to sedate him before we can put in the central line for the stem cell infusion." "Toby hates needles." "(Groaning)" "Toby, did Dr. Berman explain to you what she was doing?" "Yes, but I'm scared if she puts me to sleep, I'll never wake up." "I-I had the same feeling when I had my appendix taken out." "Okay?" "I was about your age." "Man, I was..." "I don't want to die." "Hey, who said you were gonna die?" "You did." "I heard you tell Jim." "No, I did..." "Toby, I'm sorry you heard that, but you didn't understand." "You are not gonna die." "Jim was asking me about some risks and... and..." "You are not gonna die." "(Sighs)" "Will you stay with me?" "(Monitor beeping rhythmically)" "Well, I-I could." "I know, uh, Jim wants to stay." "He has a million other kids to take care of." "(Inhales deeply)" "Um..." "Maybe we'll both stay?" "Are we ready to do this now?" "Yeah." "Okay?" "We're ready?" "Yeah, we're ready." "(Beeping continues)" "Sam, what happened?" "I heard Addison collapsed." "I don't know." "It's some kind of a side effect with the hormones." "You don't think you should be in there?" "No." "There's no room for me in there." "She doesn't want me in there." "Violet's..." "In there with her." "This is like her..." "her project." "Is she planning on raising the baby with Addison, too?" "That'd make my life a lot easier." "I'll just take Lucas... (Sighs) That's not funny, man." "Dark humor's all I got." "No, it's not." "You got a kid that you love, you got a wife that you love." "You told me I had another 25 years, and the first thing I thought was," "I might actually be able to dance at my son's wedding." "It made me happy." "And then I thought..." "That means I have another 25 years with Violet." "I don't know if I want that." "(Sighs)" "I'm sorry, man." "(Inhales deeply)" "I won't leave." "I don't have it in me to leave." "(Indistinct conversations)" "Hey." "Hey." "Hey, buddy." "How'd it go?" "He was terrific." "Missed his dad, though." "We all did." "Mason, I am..." "Really, really sorry." "You promised you'd be there..." "In the front row." "I know." "Something happened at work..." "I forgot my line to the seagull 'cause I couldn't find your face." "Oh, honey, you covered so well, nobody even noticed." "Everyone noticed." "They all laughed at me." "Oh." "Oh, buddy." "Should we go get some pizza?" "Just leave me alone, Cooper." "Oh. (Whispers) It's okay." "I'm sorry." "So my abdomen filled with fluid..." "Secondary to the fertility treatment?" "It's rare, but it..." "it does happen." "You can still implant, though, right?" "Well, I need to aspirate the fluid." "You need to rest for a couple of days, but then..." "If you're ready to go again..." "I will be." "You haven't gone in yet?" "Oh, no." "She's still talking to Jake." "He says, uh, she's gonna be fine and that it was a complication." "Well, complications happen." "Yeah." "Yeah." "So you can, uh, you can talk to her now." "I'll let her get her rest." "She knows I'm here." "Sam..." "She knows I'm here." "(Man) Addiction impacts entire families." "Strong families are essential components of successful recovery plans." "In this case..." "Amelia has named all of you as her family." "I don't know..." "How to apologize." "I don't know how." "I want to take back everything I said." "I know I can't." "I was sick and I was scared and I didn't mean... (Exhales)" "I wanted to hurt you." "I was trying to hurt you." "And I think I succeeded." "(Exhales)" "And if I could change that, if I could go back and unsay..." "If I could go back and undo... (Exhales deeply)" "The drugs, um, some people think that alcohol and drugs, uh, bring out the truth." "And maybe that's the case with normal people." "I don't know." "I won't ever know." "But I know that with me..." "The drugs bring out lies." "They bring out hate and they bring our cruelty and viciousness, and those things are not me." "They're not the real me." "The real me is the person that you knew before the drugs." "The real me is the person that is sitting here now." "And I hope..." "That you believe me... (Voice breaks) When I say how sorry I am." "(Inhales deeply)" "(Exhales deeply)" "But even if I have because... anyway," "I want to live." "The man I love died, and I think that he would be... (Sniffles)" "I think that he would be so pissed at me if I died, too, so I'm saying I'm sorry and..." "I'm saying that I hope you can forgive me." "I hope I can forgive myself." "I can't take it back, but I'm gonna try to move forward and I'm going to try to do better." "(Sighs)" "I'm gonna try to never hurt any of you ever again." "(Knock on door)" "(Door opens)" "Hey." "Your mom said you were doing your homework." "You need any help?" "I can do it myself." "All right." "Uh, maybe when you're done, we can go to the batting cages, take some swings?" "This might take a while." "(Sighs)" "Mason." "I know you're mad at me because I missed the play." "And I would love to tell you that I'm never gonna miss another school play or a soccer game, but..." "I'm a doctor for kids, you know, like you." "And sometimes, those kids need me when they're really sick." "More than me?" "Sometimes." "But..." "Look... (Sighs)" "I know you must have been scared up there on that stage, but I knew you were safe." "I knew you were okay." "But I wasn't so sure about Toby." "He needed a-a procedure to save his life, and unlike you, who's got your mom and me and your friends, he doesn't have anybody." "Do you understand?" "All right." "I'll let you do your work." "I love you. (Kisses)" "(Violet) Pete and I, it's just, we..." "We just coexist." "And intellectually, get it." "There are stages to Pete's recovery that... that mirror the stages of grief, and that can be very hard for a couple to get through." "I have walked many patients through this exact same thing, and I've seen it shred couples, shred families." "(Inhales)" "But?" "But I've also seen it go the other way." "I-I've seen grief bring families together." "That's the stage that I'm waiting for... (Chuckles)" "The stage where we say, "oh, my God that was hard, but... but we're better off for it," you know?" "Or we love each other so much more because we stuck." "That's what I'm waiting for." "(Sighs)" "But I don't see any sign that that's what he's hoping for or working toward." "It's just..." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "What?" "I don't want you to do it." "The embryo transfer..." "I don't..." "I don't want you to try again." "I'm gonna go." "Wait." "Are you okay?" "Yes, yes." "I just need to talk to Pete." "Hear me out." "Um... (Clears throat)" "Look, what happened to you, uh, it really..." "It really scared me." "And I know that... that..." "That there was a complication or... or whatever, but it really... it..." "I was really scared." "So for you to try to do it again," "I..." "I love you." "All right?" "And I'm asking you, please..." "I already did it." "This morning, Jake transferred two of my frozen embryos." "I was gonna tell you tonight." "But just so you know," "Sam, this is it." "Okay?" "No more hormones, no more I.V.F., no more sperm donors." "I'm either pregnant or I'm not." "Okay." "(Inhales)" "(Exhales)" "I don't want to be Anna." "What?" "Your wife." "Your first wife." "You hated her, but you stuck." "I don't want you to hate me but stick anyway." "I don't..." "I don't..." "I don't want to be Anna." "And I know we took vows, and I know you pride yourself on sticking to your word." "I know you'll stay, Pete." "You'll stay no matter what." "But..." "I don't want that." "That is no life for me or for Lucas." "And... and I know you are more comfortable sticking than being the guy who leaves, so, um..." "So I'll..." "I'll leave you." "If you can't do it but that's really what you want, if you don't love me..." "If you don't love me anymore, then ask me to leave..." "And I will." "I'll do that for you, for us." "And we'll... (Voice breaks) We'll figure out how to make it okay for Lucas." "I do love you." "I still love you." "But I don't want this for us." "So think about it." "Take a week." "Take... take your time." "But... know that I mean it." "I'll let you out." "I'll be the one who leaves." "Okay?" "Can you nod if it's okay?" "Okay." "Sorry to bother you." "It's no bother." "Mason was hoping to find Cooper." "Ah, Cooper's at the hospital right now." "He's there a lot." "Well, he helps a lot of kids there." " Come on." " I was just heading over." "I bet we could find him together." "(Whispers) Say thank you." "Thank you, Charlotte." "You bet." "(Spoon clanking and scraping)" "Did you think about it?" "I'm so sorry, Violet." "Okay." "(Jim speaking indistinctly)" "Hey." "Hey, Toby." "How you feelin'?" "I'm tired, but less than yesterday." "Getting stronger every day, though, right, buddy?" "Okay." "So this is great." "Your T-cell count is returning to normal." "(Footsteps approach)" "(Cooper) Hey." "Mason, come in." "I want to introduce you to my son." "Mason, this is Toby." "Toby, this is Mason." "Hi." "Hi." "Do you like Pokemon?" "'Cause I brought my cards in case you wanted to play." "I've never played." "Well, they're really cool." "Here, I'll show you." "There's Simisage, Cottonee, Simipour," "Pikachu, Scraggy." "You'll be better soon, 'cause my dad fixed you." "(Mary J. Blige's "The Living Proof" playing)" "There's Scraggy, Suicune, Seadra," "Eevee." "¶" "So he's asleep." "I'm gonna go to the hotel, but I'll be back in the morning in time for breakfast." "I'll make him his pancakes." "You can go for your run." "We'll set him up with the nanny, and, uh..." "We'll make it normal for him, as normal as it can be." "And, uh, I feel..." "I-I think that we should still go together to, um," "Addison's for Thanksgiving tomorrow, 'cause... that's what we were planning to do, so for Lucas, it'll be, you know... ¶" "We should do it for Lucas." "And then we'll talk." "We'll talk about how we're gonna make it work now." "¶" "(door closes)" "¶ It's gonna be a long, long journey ¶" "¶ it's gonna be an uphill climb ¶" "¶ it's gonna be" "Don't do drugs." "¶ It's gonna be some lonely nights ¶" "¶ but I'm ready" "The first time I got sober, I was about your age." "And I just 'cause I slipped, it doesn't mean that..." "I became a doctor, and I've saved a lot of lives, and I am gonna save more if I stay clean." "And if you stay clean, you can do and be anything you want." "All right?" "You're beautiful." "Inside and out, you are beautiful." "You are smart and you are capable and you can do and be whatever you want." "And I'll help." "Okay?" "I'm your family now, and I will help." "(Chuckles)" "¶ You can't deny the truth" "(sighs)" "¶ 'Cause I'm the living proof" "¶ so many don't survive" "¶ they just don't make it through ¶" "¶ but look at me, ohh" "¶ I'm the living proof" "(trunk closes)" "¶ Oh, yes, I am" "¶ thinking back, life's been painful ¶" "¶ yes, it was" "(exhales and chuckles)" "That's Mason." "Fix that one." "Mm." "It meant a lot to Cooper to have Mason here for Thanksgiving." " Yeah." " Thank you." "Shall we?" "Oh." "This one?" "(Sam) Yeah." "¶ ...about the storm" "(sam) Seems just like a minute ago," "I was playing with Maya like that." "Well, with any luck," "Addison will get to experience the same thing, right?" "¶ I got a few scars that's showing ¶" "(Jake) This is nice, being here, everyone all together." "¶ That's the way that I'll win" "Are there assigned seats, or, uh..." "Oh, anywhere's fine." "Anywhere's fine." "(Cooper) Where would you like to sit?" "Across from you." "All right." "Here you go." "¶ Everything you do ¶ you can't deny the truth" "Is there room at the table for one more?" "¶ 'Cause I'm the living proof, ohh ¶" "We'll make room." "(Sheldon) Absolutely." "There's an open seat right next to me." "(Sam) Yeah, you're just in time." "Dinner is ready." "¶ Yeah, yeah" "¶ I'm the living" "Wait." "Wh-where's Addison?" "¶ Proof" "¶ Nothing about my life's been easy ¶" "(exhales deeply)" "¶ No" "¶ but nothing's gonna keep me down ¶" "¶ oh, no" "¶ so I'm ready" "By Mikhel/Suzuki for Subtitulos.es ==SPREAD THE WORD=="