""I dreamed that John Wayne had a wonderful way" ""of swinging his hips at the North Pole."" "THE HIPS OF J.W." "Directed by" "Let there be movement, for stillness has corrupted us!" "I would hazard the risk of revealing myself at the risk of spreading myself thin and losing myself among the vulgar masses." "Look!" "Out there, between Mars and Venus," "I can still see several unoccupied myriameters of my kingdom." "I wish to create a new world there:" "From Nothingness shall it be born, and to Nothingness shall it return one day." "The creatures that shall inhabit it will believe themselves gods like us," "and it will be our pleasure to watch their combats and vanities." "The world of madness shall it be called." "What says my brother Lucifer who shares with me" "these realms to the south of the Milky Way?" "Lord, brother, your spiteful will demands suffering and unhappiness." "I loathe your idea!" "What say the angels to my idea?" "The Lord's will be done!" "So be it!" "Woe betide them who reveal their origin and mission to them." "Woe betide them who call Evil Good and Good Evil, who make Light Shadow and Shadow Light, sweetness bitter and bitterness sweet." "I shall call you up before the court of the Everlasting." "So, I am waiting." "Because... do you meet the Everlasting more than once every 10,000 years when he visits these regions?" "I shall reveal the truth to mankind to thwart your design." "I curse you, Lucifer!" "May your place be beneath the world of madness that you may witness their torments." "They shall call you the Devil." "You shall vanquish for you are as strong as Evil." "You shall be God to man, you, the calumniator, Satan!" "Down with the rebel!" "Forward!" "Michael, Raphael, Gabriel, Uriel!" "Strike..." "Samuel, Azareel, Mehazael!" "Blow..." "Oreins, Paymon, Egyn, Amaimon!" "O my God!" " I never noticed that tree before." " That tree is forbidden to us." " Who forbade it?" " God." "Which God?" "There are several." "Who speaks?" "I, Lucifer, the Bearer of Light, who wishes you happiness, and suffers for your sufferings." "See the new morning star, which heralds the sun's return!" "It is my star, with a mirror that reflects the light of Truth." "Its beams, in the course of Time, shall guide certain shepherds of a certain desert to a manger where my son shall be born, the redeemer of the world." "Once you eat of that tree you shall know Good and Evil." "You shall know that life is evil, that you are not gods, that the Devil struck you blind and that you exist merely to amuse the gods." "Eat and you shall possess the gift to relieve pain, and the joy of death." "I wish to know and to be delivered." "Eat with me, Adam." "Woe betide us, for our joy is ended!" "What happened?" "Lucifer revealed your deeds to the inhabitants of the earth." "They know all and are happy." "Happy?" "Woe betide them!" "Too, he gave them the gift of freedom so that they may return to Nothingness." "To die..." "Very well..." "Let they multiply before they die!" "Let there be love!" "O my God!" "Since love came into the world my power is dead." "Abel, delivered by Cain, procreated with his sister." "And I wish to deliver them all!" "Waters, oceans, springs, rivers, you who can extinguish the flame of life:" "Rise!" "Exterminate!" "Woe betide us!" "Our joy is dead!" "What happened?" "Lucifer blew on the waters, which are rising to deliver mortals." "I know." "But I have just saved two of the least enlightened, who shall never know the enigma." "Their vessel was grounded on Mont Ararat and they have offered up holocausts." "Lucifer gave them a plant called vine, whose sap engenders stupidity." "A drop of wine and they see what is." "The fools!" "They do not know that I endowed their plant with strange virtues:" "Madness, sleep and forgetfulness." "They will no longer know what their eyes have seen." "Woe betide us!" "What are the foolish inhabitants of earth doing?" "Building a tower to lay siege to heaven." "Lucifer has taught them to ask questions." "So be it!" "I shall strike their tongues so that their questions remain sterile and my brother Lucifer be left speechless." "O my doves!" "Did you think that virginity gave you wings?" "Woe betide us!" "Lucifer has sent them his only son." "He is teaching truth to mankind." "What says he?" "Born of a virgin, this son claims to come to liberate men, and by his own death he claims to abolish the fear of death." "What say men?" "Some say the Son is God, others that he is the Devil." " What do they mean by the Devil?" " Lucifer!" "I repent of ever having created man on earth." "He has become stronger... stronger than I." "I have no more control over this mob of lunatics and fools." "Amaimon," "Egyn, Paymon, Oriens, deliver me of this burden:" "Topple the world into the abyss." "A curse on these rebels!" "Erect a gallows on the face of this accursed planet as a sign of crime, punishment and suffering." "Lord!" "Your cruel will and words have taken their effect!" "The Earth bolts from its orbit:" "Mountains collapse, waters rise." "There is cold, darkness, plague and famine ravage nations, love turns to mortal hate, filial love to parricide." "Men think themselves in Hell." "And you, Lord, are dethroned." "I finally burst a balloon!" "Two!" "Very good." "Help!" "I repent of having repented!" "Too late!" "All is in motion since you unleashed the forces." "I repent!" "I placed the sparks of my soul in impure beings." "Their fornications shame me as the wife soils her husband by soiling her body." "The old man is raving!" "My energy drains from me when they move away." "Their iniquity infects me." "I am tainted by the madness of my progeny." "What have I done, O Everlasting?" "Have pity on me." "Because he loved maledictions, let the malediction befall him." "And because he did not delight in benediction, may he lose benedictions." "What madness!" "Eternal God, none among the gods is equal to you, and your works are incomparable." "For you are great and you perform wonders." "You alone are God you alone!" " Madness!" "Thus goes the world:" "When the gods play, mortals stray." ""God is dead."" " Nietzsche." ""Nietzsche is dead."" " God." "We must conclude that Strindberg wasn't really cultivated." "Consequently, even if he had met his near contemporary Freud, he would have treated psychoanalysis as he did religion." "Strindberg had that unwieldy and slightly repellent culture which you sometimes find among the self-taught." "Besides, when you read Inferno you feel this is the prose of a brilliant man, but not a great writer." "His amazing skilfulness is too glib and hot-headed, typical of the fascinating chatter of talents who are foreign to real culture and thus, reality." "In addition to admiring the amazing form of this diary, the freedom of its descriptive passages and moral considerations, you have a feeling, not of pity, but of affliction..." "This wretch endured the most basic forms of clinical insanity:" "Insomnia, feelings of suffocation, electrical charges in the body, buzzings in the head, fear of being murdered by occult forces or by real persons painfully reduced to the role of assassins, etc." "Too, there was also his obsession with alchemy, the medieval quest to produce gold in a laboratory." "Strindberg's scientific knowledge was remarkable:" "The pages on insects, birds, minerals and flowers are very beautiful." "Of course." "It's this feeling of affliction that prevents us from reading this as a literary work, even a document." "Strindberg's madness is here in all its force, naked and dreadful in its banality, which makes Strindberg just another lunatic." "Nothing is so stereotypical as madness." "And reading the book is like living with a maniac on a day-to-day basis, with the recoveries and relapses." "Every page that's lucid, intelligent, full of a deep post-romantic humour is followed by a page that stuns you." "That madness, which had seemed a bad dream, suddenly reappears, true to itself, incurable." "So, come to an agreement about that introduction to Inferno?" "Which hell, sweetie?" "The hell of heaven, naturally." "Coming to the house with us?" "Thanks, but I have something to finish." "Can human beings live without religion?" "Yes." "It's easy for the upper classes who have the means." "For the lower classes who must fight to survive, it's harder." "When Numa Pompilius risked losing his concubines, he made them sacred and called them vestals." "Voltaire, fearing for his writings, entrusted them to a parishioner." "If we must give the people a religion, give them atheism." "Wouldn't it be better to give the lower classes the means of subsistence rather than a religion?" "Yes." "The sated upper classes criticize the starving lower classes for thinking only of their bellies." "And the lower classes accept the criticism." "What is politics, then?" "Politics is the art of governing, or the art by which the upper classes dominate the lower classes." "Politics also means treacherous conduct." "And international politics?" "Cooperation between upper classes." "The foreign affairs ministries are their preserve and negotiations are kept secret." "Which is why Parliament should deal directly directly with foreign powers." "Ambassadors and consuls are henchmen of the rich." "When you make contact with people abroad they always check up on you at the embassy or consulate." "The answer determines the way you are treated." "If you're a friend of the lower classes, you're considered a "shady character."" "And whose friend are you, sir?" "On the road to California A crab louse makes its way" "It asks directions of a pecker;" "It needs balls where it can stay." "So, Max, grabbing some shut-eye?" "Who are you?" "I am Lucifer, bearer of light." "In that case," "I'm the Devil, bearer of balls!" "Pleased to meet you." "How about a drink?" "Go ahead, but you know I don't drink, Max." "Max?" "There must be some mistake." "I had a dog named Max." "My name's Henrique." "Cut it out with your double identities!" "You're Max Monteiro." "All right, if it makes you happy." "We're not going to fight because of that." "Even if I'm too old to be re-baptised." "And what's your name?" " My name is Jean de Dieu." " Henrique." "Henry?" "The navigator?" "Don't give me that mystical sea shit!" "I'm just a retired old sea wolf." "I can show you my I.D. I'm legal." "The cops love to check it." "If you say you're not Max Monteiro..." "Who's he?" "A mere shadow?" "The actor playing God." "I was told God didn't act." "How long has he been acting?" " It's a theatre piece." " Don't know it." "I can't believe my eyes!" "You're a dead ringer for him!" "I thought I was someone unique." "Let's be sensible, but if you're not Max, who are you?" "I already told you." "So what are you doing here?" "I was walking by, and I saw the boat and thought, as the son said to the mother:" ""Beneath this arcade we spent the night."" "How did you put up with the bombings on Earth?" "With no hard feelings, even if I've never collaborated." "I love to sleep." "Stay if you want, but it's part of the play's decor." ""Everything's a matter of decor." ""A new bed, a new body once more." ""What's the point..."" "So, you're artists!" "I never set foot in a theatre." "I prefer movies, they're more popular." "My idol is John Wayne." "Ever since I was a kid." "I grew up with him." "We've been through a lot together." "They don't make actors like that anymore." "You may be right, but what is it about him that gets you all excited?" "I don't know." "Everything." "He was everybody's favourite target." "Maybe to the Redskins, why not, but I don't think it's his most typical feature." "Basically, I think he's a warrior for all wars." "The god Mars of movieland Olympus." "I think he was everyone's favourite target, the scapegoat who must be eliminated." "War was just a consequence and a gauntlet he had to run." "And now, if you don't mind," "I must be going." "I have a long journey ahead of me." "Where are you going?" "North, young man." "Always to the North." "I search everywhere." "First a little detour, then we'll see." "Come what may - who knows?" "" "I want to end up at the North Pole." "The North Pole?" "I dreamed that John Wayne had a wonderful way of swinging his hips at the North Pole." "The human pelvis, we know, grew bigger and rounder with the evolution of the species." "It was the most suitable configuration for the biped's gait and the protection of the neighbouring organs." "With women, generally, the pelvic opening is bigger for childbirth." "In view of the unusual structure of the human pelvis with its 6 bones cast in a single mass in the adult skeleton, there's no doubt that the hips ofJohn Wayne had special characteristics and determined the way he walked," "and swung his body, etc." "On that basis, we can list all the attributes that are uniquely his:" "Seriousness, grit, tenacity, temperance, serenity, self-control, dexterity..." "In short, everything the old American cinema, like none other, had achieved through a long physical discipline that helped create its mythic aura, which unfortunately has vanished today." "Well," "I find the way John Wayne moved wonderfully sensual and wonderfully impertinent." "What are you getting at?" "Well, it's like someone sculptured to look as immutable as a god," "who just by moving, by a slight gesture, suddenly recovers the human aspect he'd been denied." "It's the struggle of Prometheus, and in that sense," "I agree with the Portuguese sailor:" "Wayne is the one who must be eliminated." "His hips are too insolent." "His rhythm suggests rhythms too sacred for the symphony of the world." "All I know is that, without intending to," "I suddenly found myself studying hipbones." ""The times were unstable." "We sat the dead at table."" "You should buy panties for the first strange woman who rouses wild desire in you." "Miss, I want to grace your hips with the most beautiful, most comfortable device in France." "Poor girl..." "Deep down, Paul's an old sentimentalist who's going through a crisis most sentimentalists go through:" "Not knowing what to do with his feelings." "Which explains the ruinous expenses for lingerie." "You sure this isn't another one of Max's antics?" "Positive." "I talked to his wife today." "They went home together, and from what she said, he's still sleeping it off." "In that case, you could hire the sailor and cast them both in a Plautus comedy." "Not a bad idea." "Max and his double." "I bet he's already weighed anchor." "He weighed anchor without any sails." "Anyway, it'll be easy to find him at the North Pole." "You go out, take the first right, keep left, and it's straight ahead." "You can't miss it." "He mentioned another route." "To an asylum, I would say." "It's freezing at the Pole." "Even if he's a nut, he knows that at the North Pole there's no John Wayne to save him, that only the seals have a wonderful way of swinging their hips." "He must have come to his senses, called off his dream ...and gone back home." " Okay." "Let's forget about it." "While we wait for the end of this story" "I'll slip some fish in the oven." "The times were unstable We sat the dead at table" "Wolves behaved like dogs..." "Jean..." "Everything you've said about writing..." "Inferno..." " Is it coming along?" " Sure." "And you found..." "Ariane?" "It's hard." "Rather." "You know..." "We'll continue." "I think I have very good ideas." "I'm counting on you to find me a..." "I'd like someone who's not an actress, a revelation... a bearer of light." "But not a woman who's luciferian or angelic, or archangelic." "Awoman." "Ariane." "The kind you leave behind on the shore, in the port, on a rock, because you know where she is." "You know where to find her." "The thread of life." "Woman." "Love." "And whiskey, too!" "No, kidding aside..." "Why'd you quit drinking, Jean?" "You always look so sad when you stop drinking." "You're right." "The body rebels." "Jean..." "Jean de Dieu." "Speak of the devil and you see his tail!" "It's a small world, Jean." "If our paths must cross, we always meet, even when the exchange rate is bad." "True, but it's still funny." "We thought you'd left." "I'm in a boarding house nearby." "Fairly clean, in fact." "No bugs." "You haven't wasted time:" "You're getting ready to sail." "This?" "Nothing at all." "Farewell, dear Portugal." "Be thou ravaged!" "I go forth With rust in my teeth," "And spider webs up my ass." "What's that song?" "The fado of the disillusioned Portuguese." "I am Portuguese." "I was deceived." "But why this migratory yearning for the North Pole?" "North Pole?" "Fuck the North Pole!" "Even at the North Pole you need a refrigerator." "Of course." "It's still the best thing for deep-freezing fish." ""Rio Bravo"." ""The Searchers"." "He follows me everywhere." ""I'm Portuguese." "Sallow and depressed." ""I'm off to Cuba to make my nest." ""I'm Portuguese." "I was weaned, it's said." ""My dear Fidel:" "I want to go to bed." ""I'm Portuguese." "I'm on a vacation." ""I got tricked into this situation." ""I'm Portuguese:" "I'm a bit of a slob." ""Got any change?" "Give me a blowjob?" ""I'm Portuguese." "Hold on to your seat!" ""My feet hurt." "Long live Magritte!"" "A bit of umbrella would suffice" "For a bit of paradise" "She had an angelic air..." "You always wake up inspired?" "You call that inspiration?" "I'd call that evacuation." "You're going off to die?" "Too much talk hurts." "I presume I'm being nosy." "I'm old enough to have roots only where I set my ass down." "If I'm taking to the road it's to preserve the hope of ending my days without being stopped." "Do I look like I'd jump off the Eiffel Tower?" " Do you have some serious disease?" " Not that I know of." "Then, it's the torment in your soul, an unbearable buzzing in your head which has become unbearable." "What are you talking about?" "If you want to kill yourself, why don't you?" "Maybe by ending it, you're just beginning..." "How'd you guess?" "I didn't guess." "I let the stars guide me." " I'd like to..." " Is that true?" "I had no idea." "I've been around the world, around life." "My old nurse, sing me a song." "Funny, I thought of an old movie:" "A horrible giant devours explorers at the North Pole." "Unfortunately, here we're not edible." "We're doomed." "Don't think of the North Pole." "If you do, you'll get nowhere." "Not even to the North Pole." "Go straight to the point:" "Think of the river." "It's the only cinema within your reach." "Bon voyage!" "I'll just finish my cigarette and I'll join you." "It's freezing!" "To die, yes, but not from cold." "To die, yes, but gently." "It'll warm your insides." "I don't drink." "What?" "You'd fill your belly with shitty water but you won't touch whiskey?" "The first step is the hardest." "Then you'll go with a flourish." "Don't be afraid." "When we drift off, impassive like kings," "I'll tell you all about John Wayne's hips." "I'll start the countdown." "I don't count on it." "The river air gave me an appetite." "I could eat a horse." "Forget it." "Forget it, damnit!" "We're not here to suffer." "I quickly realized you weren't in the right state of mind." "We'll take a walk, then we'll see." "I've got a tapeworm too." "The belly gives the hour." "She loves me, she loves me not." "She loves me, she loves me not..." "What are you up to?" "Are you nuts?" "I pay my way in advance with my own cash," "and I don't like anyone snooping into my affairs." "He who pays in advance is always ill served." "No one was killed." "Let's go." "No more homeland." "You know, it's all an old masquerade." "The agitators have become democrats." ""O mankind!" ""We are asleep." ""We are asleep." ""The world is deep." ""Deeper than the day imagines!"" "It's not ocean effluvia in my nostrils!" "It's the smell of cunt." "Cunt in sight!" "Onward and upward, dear pecker!" "Why are you so excited?" "I want to get laid." " That's all we needed!" " Don't frighten the game away." "Be reasonable, this isn't the moment!" "That's where you're wrong." "Go screw where you want, but not on the table." "Your table..." "Think I'm going to empty my balls here?" "Got a light, honey?" "The iron's red-hot." "If you touch it, you may burn your little hand." "Let's go put the fire out at the boarding house." "At this hour?" "Too much work." "I'd rather get laid right now over by the curtains." "Let's see the little birdie fly." "I'm warning you, I won't undress." "Of course." "Doing it standing is good for the back." "It's healthy and good for your growth." "3,000 escudos, honey." "Cash." "3,500 with the mouth." "I prefer cash." "Cunt, arse and blowjob?" "I'm too old for a three-course meal." "I'm just hungry for cunt." "I'm a man of simple tastes." "Take five and you're lucky." "The right to tits in the air is included." "I never refused a tit to anyone." "You'll see, the service will be good." "Between friends, no problem." "I leave on one foot and return on the other." "I had pins and needles in my cock, you know." "What's your name?" "Come over here." " And yours?" " Susana." "Champagne?" "A sip." "I've never seen anything like it!" " What happened?" " He's not human, honey." "He almost tore my cunt open." "I don't intend to be a cripple for 5,000 escudos." "Take his money, I don't want it." "He can go fuck himself!" " I'm a whore but I got my dignity!" " It's an occupational hazard!" "But this only happens to me." "Nobody would believe me." "Your money!" "I don't understand this shit!" "They're sluts but they won't put their cunts to work!" "Your money." "Thanks." "In my day, the women used to say:" ""What a lovely cock!"" "They were proud to have it shoved up their cunt and scream:" ""Go on, yo-yo, stick it to me!"" "What a hellish night!" "The cock is nature's ploughman." "It's daybreak." "We're pretty tired." "Time to go, I think." "I admit it hasn't been an easy night." "The gate's locked." "We are dead men without leave." "Let's go get hanged somewhere else." "We're the jettisons of the jetty." "Crabs!" "Velvet crabs." "Damn!" "There's no place to drop dead!" "Splendour and misery of a donkey." "Henrique!" "Do I see a ghost?" "Is that you, Henrique?" "No, I'm Max." "Mister José, serve me a Scottish tea, if you don't mind." "Thank you." "You can go." "I've had problems at home." "I surprised my wife in the arms of a socialite." "Cuckold, if you like, but not host." "You asked for it." "You're always chasing skirts, you faun!" "I'm a sad faun." "For once, my wife stuck horns in my heart." "I'm in pain." "Oh, yes," "I'm in pain." "Such things happen." "Yes, I know, but it's a hard nut to crack." "Poor Max's lament." "I want to visit a foreign woman," "I want to reveal the enigmas of man," "I undo the straps on my boots," "I search in man and I search in woman." "On the face of women I erase wrinkles." "I tramped along frozen shores where seals blow into the holes." "I delight in the sea's song and the limpid plaint of new ice." "And now, an old spirit brings force into the dance hall." "Have they found the body yet?" "No, but I hope the river will mercifully carry him out into the old ocean." "Had he been here, I imagine him saying:" ""Look at the ocean." ""With luck, we'll see the body float by."" "Maybe even as far as the North Pole, so that, posthumously, his crazy dream will be realized." "We can't do a thing." "Wherever he is, I imagine him happy." "I know it's not easy, but put it out of your mind." "Try to enjoy yourself." "Take a trip to Egypt, cruise down the Nile with Catarina." "She's open and high-spirited." "Crocodiles are my dream." "And my house at Gerês is at your disposal." "Obviously, the death of a friend does something to you." "Yet I don't feel very despondent." "Maybe a bit restless, a bit apathetic." "No, but something strange is happening to me." "I feel like going off to war." "Nothing strange about that." "Man is made for war, woman for the warrior's leisure." "But it's the stirring of a warlike temperament..." "I dream of military uniforms and battles where I'm covered in glory." "For a conscientious objector with a loathing of firearms it's all very mysterious, you'll admit." "You can always join the Foreign Legion." "My Egyptian friend is an authority in analysis." "What are you getting at?" "I don't know Jean, but I doubt he needs that kind of treatment." "Anyway, authorities take huge fees." "He just needs to look after his health." "A stay in the mountains will do him a world of good." "My house is always at his disposal." "You'll feel at home there." "I still advise a consultation and not this sort of idiotic treatment." " Let's visit your girlfriend." " What girlfriend?" "I have none." "The girl of your dreams, of course." "Jean's old enough to dream by himself." "Warriors are alone on the field of honour." " You want to dream alone?" " Yes." "And no." " Yes and no?" " Since my wife left me, I've felt... a certain resistance..." "what's the word?" "You mean you haven't fucked since Carmen left you?" "I never was much for fucking, but I must say that since yesterday" "I have this cold sensation all over my body." " Cold sensation?" " An icy feeling... which suddenly condensed around my pelvis and turned into a block of ice." "What's both awful and surprising is that I get a hard-on, then another, and another." "The miracle of love's visitation, the miracle of Cherubino, my dear Jean." "Non so più son cosa facio..." "The swan song." "Jean, I had a dream." "You and the old sailor were walking one night." "But in my dream you were with a young woman." "Catarina, for instance." "She was driving a yellow cart drawn by a mule." "Anyway, you were so present in my dream that you've become unreal." "Under the archway, a mule is harnessed to a cart where Ariane, a young woman dressed as a man, is selling roses." "The mule's genitals are hidden in a plastic pail." "Would you like some roses?" "I prefer roses to a homeland, my love." "We want to rent your cart, dear boy." "Impossible, kind sir." "We've finished for today and I'm not a dear boy." "My name is Ariane." "Don't be angry, Ariane." "I was just teasing you." "You're not the first to take me for a boy." "I like to dress this way." "It suits this kind of job." "We don't mind." "We just want to tour the town." "I can pay well." "You'll have to persuade Lúcio." "He's more interested in straw than gold and he's worked hard today." "Equal pay for equal labour." "Is that the only problem?" "Maybe." "But don't go thinking it's that easy." "Where do want to go?" "Around in circles." "Are you crazy?" "Ataxi would be better." "We really want to go by mule." "It will cost you a fortune." "Henrique takes out a 10,000-escudos bill and gives it to Ariane." "Don't overdo it." "Too much generosity is never innocent." "Lúcio is a mule, not a Rolls Royce." "For how long?" "All night, probably." "All night?" "Then you'll need an extra ration of oats." "And to round things off, we'll make it 12,000 escudos." "That seems fair enough." "Henrique gives Ariane a 5,000-escudos bill." "15,000 in case of rain." "OK." "Let's see what Lúcio thinks." "Want to go on an endless drive, darling?" "Ariane strokes the mule's muzzle, who in the meantime takes Jean de Dieu's sleeve between his teeth." " It's your lucky day." " What?" "Ariane said the mule is madly in love with you." "Every one to his taste." "Jean discreetly removes his coat sleeve, takes some providential lumps of sugar from his jacket pocket and gives them to Lúcio." "He seems pleased with this treat." "Are you French?" "Jean de Dieu nods yes." "I think you're lucky." "If he takes a dislike to someone, there's nothing to be done." "Nothing like Buridan's ass, who provoked so much sterile academic debate." "Ariane checks the animal's harness one last time." "He's an honest mule." "What is he hiding in his pail?" "The same thing as you, I suppose." "I don't wear diapers anymore." "It's only compulsory in town." "So he won't urinate on a public thoroughfare." " Where do they shit?" " On the public thoroughfare." "Which goes to show our cities are more tolerant of shit." "Get in." "Henrique, his inseparable brandy bottle at his side, lies down among the rose bouquets." "Jean de Dieu sits next to Ariane." "The cart moves off, drawn by Lúcio at a fast trot, his bells ringing gaily." "The cart crosses several streets of Lisbon before coming near a restaurant." "We've got the wind in our sails!" "And with this music, all we need is a cortege of cherubs." "Wake me up when we get to paradise." "You're there already without realizing it." "Lúcio is faster than I thought." "He's a swift ass." "He's still young." "If it's too bumpy, I can slow down." "I like feeling the wind in my hair." "And your friend?" "He's a sailor." "He's used to the swells." "And the jolts of life." " Don't worry about me." " Not asleep?" "Having a little nap." "Do you mind, my dear Jean?" "Not at all!" "You're always in Graça?" "Usually." "Rain and shine, it's our livelihood." "Strange, I often pass through there but I never noticed your cart." "When we work, we have no time for others." "Yes." "It's the age of "Every man for himself"" "and "Run for your life."" "Lúcio might complain." "Any reason to complain, sweetie?" "You know, we've been around." "My parents were very poor." "They emigrated and worked in a Luxembourg circus." "They died in a trapeze act shortly after I was born." "It happens." "That's life..." "But here we are." "God, grant us each a death in accordance with our life." "Lúcio and I know all the roads of the North:" "Warsaw, Prague, Budapest, the blue Danube," "Vienna, Paris, Amsterdam and, especially, Berlin." "We earn a good deal there." "Enough to buy a purebred." "Why this wandering, if I may ask?" "Because Germans hate asses." "They prefer pigs." "Schwein." "It's because asses are dying out whereas anyone, even a lowlife, can become a little pig." "Henrique sings an old popular song from the 40s." " We are all German Jews." " I'd rather not understand." "There's nothing to understand." "I mean, wherever you go, times are hard for asses." "They have very dark balls." "True, it's not always easy, but we hold our own." "Of course." "Samson too held his own with an ass's jawbone." "He had no choice." "He was told people were shouting:" ""Death to Samson, and death for everyone!"" "You haven't any relatives?" "If I do, I never met any." "Maybe in a remote part of Portugal, or, who knows, in the Cévennes." "When an ass talks, the other's ears droop." "Good night." "Sweet dreams!" "What's got into him?" " He was unhappy in the navy." " No one forced him." "The only discovery of Luxembourg was due to a group of doctors." "An event so rare that the Luxembourgers celebrated with brass bands and cannons." "With all the necessary pomp for 3 days and 3 nights." "The Grand Duchess even left her cage to unveil the commemorative plaque." "What were they celebrating?" "I forget." "If I'm losing my memory, it's because it's unimportant." "But what were they celebrating?" "Oh, yes!" "The discovery of a psychic illness." "Curable, it seems." "They named it" ""the Portuguese malady."" " Does that ring a bell?" " Never heard of it." "I just asked." "It's nothing." "Is your friend always in a bad mood?" "Let him talk." "An ass isn't heard in heaven." "He's heard." "He's heard." " And you?" " I direct plays." "Once, in Berlin," "I was given angel wings to play an extra at the Wall." "But I couldn't leave Lúcio, so I said no." "This longing to wear wings..." "How cute!" "Ask Ariane if she's ever dreamed ofJohn Wayne swinging his hips at the North Pole." " What?" " He asks if you've ever dreamed ofJohn Wayne swinging his hips at the North Pole." "Of course!" "All girls dream of that." " What?" " The caravan goes by and the cart stops near the S?" "o Carlos Theater." "The passengers get out as Ariane hangs around Lúcio's neck a well-deserved bag of oats." "Stroking the animal, Ariane says:" ""Pretty little ass!"" "We hear an aria from Verdi's "Rigoletto."" "It's fine." "It's going to be terrific." "We'll have a drink and start again." " You like Verdi?" " Yes." "Magnificent." "Come with me." "What are you drinking to?" "Our characters are in a restaurant dining room." "What are you drinking to?" "To the excellence of our horizon." "Awaiter approaches their table with a plate." "To be negotiated with the manager..." "Atruly carnivorous horizon." "The formal opening "bon appetit!"" "Fails to suggest the gluttony of the guests." "Henrique points to Ariane's mittens:" ""Take off your gloves, child." "You're not bottle-feeding your mule."" "Ariane hides her hands." "My hands are cold:" "I have poor blood circulation." " You have a warm heart." " A fickle heart." "Can you pass the salt, Ariane?" " To the waiter: "Another bottle!"" " You're voracious!" "Thank God!" "I don't know why, but I'm starved today." "And you?" "You always eat and drink like this?" " When I feel like it." " Do you often feel like it?" "Depends on the days." "When I like what I'm eating!" "I don't have to be asked." "I call it:" "Putting an end to the belly's misery." " Why are you so skinny, then?" " Do you mind?" "They say skinny people have intense inner lives." "They said I had a tapeworm, but I never could catch it." "Know how to catch them?" "With your hands." "You dip a piece of bread in some broth or something sticky:" "Olive oil, béchamel sauce, vanilla ice cream..." "Then, you shove the bait up the asshole and you patiently wait for the worm to bite." "Then you extract carefully, so that the parasite comes out in one piece and doesn't scratch the ass's skin." "Until now the only thing to come out of my ass has been shit." "Shit and hurricanes." "You're disgusting." "You ruined my appetite." "A nice meal topic." "I can't eat either." "You're too sensitive." "What page are you at, children?" "Sixty." " Right there." " Oh, yes." "Thanks." "I spared you the May beetle grubs, but that's my childhood." "They were everywhere, even in my mouth and nose, not to mention my poor ass." "Stop, Henrique, before I throw up!" "You have a sensitive stomach for someone who stinks of mule." "I don't stink of mule." "Do I?" "Jean de Dieu sniffs Ariane." " Ariane doesn't stink of mule." " Like it?" "It's my natural smell." "A heady scent." "It's like being in a field of roses." "A sea of roses?" "Smell her ass, rather." "Go smell it yourself." "Only if it's pink." "Is it pink?" "You'll never know." "You're dead wrong, honey." "I already know." "What colour is it?" "I'm gonna get lost for a minute." "Jean, order me a coffee." "I'll be right back." "And a bottle of whiskey for everybody!" "What colour is it?" "Henrique exits." " What colour is it?" " I can't tell." "Must be a vague, indefinite colour." "It's not true." "Your friend is quirky." "Yes, Henrique is erratic." "He likes to ramble." "He drank too much, too." " Things going well, Catarina?" " Yes." "Paul is such a saint." "Go on, please." "We drank too much." "You're sweet, Jean." "Let's just say I'm polite." "Too polite, maybe." "I prefer that." "You're trustworthy." "Want to see?" "It's pink." "What's pink?" "It's a sign of trust." "Don't tell your friend." "I won't give your trust to Henrique." " I thought you were friends." " But not old friends." "How can you be with him?" "He's despicable." "It's a long story." "He's a bit eccentric, I admit, but I rather like him." "Maybe because we have nothing in common." "We women are rarely wrong about that." " You saw his eyes?" " What about them?" "Nothing." "They're cold and empty." "The eyes of someone without illusions." "No." "I can tell you're a sad person, but at a closer look, you still have laughing eyes." "It's only an impression." "Why are they laughing?" "I'm not happy to be unhappy." "I don't believe you." "It's true." "My life is no life, it's a semblance of life." "That's not true." "You're cheating, Jean." "Cheat, me?" "With what?" "With life?" "No, with death." "I've never thought of it..." "Dessert?" "I can't eat any more, but I'll have coffee." "Three coffees and a bottle of Irish whiskey." "The waiter brings the coffees and whiskey." "Ariane and Jean take their coffee." "Jean serves Ariane some whiskey and fills a glass for Henrique." "Ariane puts the saucer on Henrique's cup." "It's best to cover it before it gets cold." "Do you live with anyone?" "I used to be married." "My wife left me." "Long ago?" "This summer." "We'd decided to go to Spain." "I woke up one morning in my hotel room to discover the lovely Carmencita gone." "It was raining, I turned over and went back to sleep." " Does it still hurt?" " That's just it..." "What hurts is my inability to feel hurt." "I thought Carmen's disappearance was perfectly natural." " Then you didn't love her." " I did love her and, in a way, I always will." "Maybe she'll come back." "I'm sure she'll come back." "Why would she?" "Because women love to be loved." "She may be regretting it right now." "She may be thinking it over." "Before thinking, she'd already been shrinking." " What about you, Ariane?" " I'm fine the way I am." "And love, Ariane?" "Love?" "Love is a bohemian child." "I don't like prisons." "Ariane laughs." "Henrique returns with a blind violinist." "He holds a red rose in his hand." "He's a lunatic." "I warned you, Jean." "He's in a good mood." "The world won't come to an end." "This is Ragno, the Paganini of Syracuse, who's come for us." "But first, he'll honour us by having a drink." "In Syracuse, Salazar said to his grandchildren:" ""The square of the hypotenuse" ""is not equal to the sum of the squares of its adjacent sides."" "Henrique drinks his whiskey at one go, refills his glass... and offers it to the musician." "It's not very clean but it doesn't matter." "Ragno doesn't give a damn." "A blind man's ethics are different from ours." "Henrique eats the rose." "Diary of a chambermaid." "Henrique, emptying Ariane's glass..." "Diary of a country priest." "You might think of Ariane." "Oh, only a digestive rose, nobody's rose." "You eat it and empty it." "It's supposed to clean the intestines." "Jean de Dieu caresses Ariane, who huddles against him." "Ragno plays "Ride of the Walkyries."" "Calm down, you... spider!" "Our ears can't stand these arachnoid convulsions!" "Entertain us with "La vie en rose"." "Henrique sings:" ""When you take me in your arms..."" "I'm an artist, my good man." "If you think money can buy everything, you're wrong." "It's as I said, my son, Wagner or nothing." "Ragno launches into his music..." "Henrique pushes him towards the door." "If that's the way it is, go fiddle in the rain." "If it's to listen to that shit, I prefer the music of my asshole." "Long live the blind!" "The blind man foams with rage!" "With a certain dignity, it should be said, he beats a retreat, playing as protest a few measures of "La Marseillaise"" "before walking head-on into the door." "The worse blind man is the one who wants to see." "Ariane, Jean de Dieu and myself continue our journey to the door of Max's Himself Bar." "The three of us enter the room, sit at a table and silently look around." "The atmosphere is noisy and smoke-filled." "I order beers." "Among the customers is a group of skinheads." "It smells of scorched earth." "We forgot our anti-toxic masks." " This isn't Austerlitz!" " Of course." "It's after Auschwitz." "Arbeit, arbeit macht frei!" "The skinheads sing a hymn." "The only good fascist is a dead fascist." "No pasarán!" "With the floor liberated," "Ariane and Jean de Dieu can now waltz." "Here, a present for you." " She has the same name as you." " Ariane?" "Take care of her." "I'm going to work." "Jean de Dieu, Ariane and Henrique sit at a table eating breakfast." "All's well that ends well." " Journey to the end of night." " Ariane looking at Jean:" "We won't meet again?" "Probably not." "You know where to find me." "Anyway, I'd like to come by the theatre." "You're always welcome." "I'll be going." "I want to stretch my hips." "I'll go with you." "Ariane, my sister, of what wounded love did you die, abandoned on the shore?" "An engaged couple were embracing" "In a banana plantation" "The fiancé, a rascally fellow" "Hugs her tighter Not hurting a bit" "He put his arms around her hip" "With such a show of tenderness" "And in the shadow Of the banana tree" "Showed her the banana split." "Who are you?" "Paul." "Max Monteiro." "Pleased to meet you." "I know you." "By reputation, I hope." "Quite a bad one." "Thank you, my dear man." "I'm in the middle of writing... and I thought about you... to play a departed friend." "Lf, one day, you'd care to drop by..." "Yes?" "I'd like to read you a few pages of this dramatic work." "Listen, Paul," "I'm very touched by your words." "To our health?" "You were going to perform?" "Yes, but, you know, I..." "I have trouble with this object because..." "I'm rather... on the other side." "I mean..." "What's the matter?" "Why are you upset?" ""I dreamed ofJohn Wayne swinging his hips at the North Pole," ""so I'm leaving." "I'm rushing up there."" ""The car keys are on the kitchen table." ""I fed the dogs" ""And I even milked the cows." ""You can look after the house." ""I've had it with the joys of pleasant life." "Good luck." "Paul."" "He didn't take anything, not even a suitcase." " What do you think?" " Did you have a fight?" "No." "Not at all." "We even made love." "He was unbelievably gentle." "It was almost like the first time." "I don't know what to say, Marianne." "I'm flabbergasted." "Paul's not someone who'd go to the North Pole." "I think you're right." "He's too fond of his comfort for a crazy adventure like this." "Thanks." "I'm so sorry!" "I forgot that you had stopped drinking." "I've started again." "A little glass is good for me." "It's not an idea you have, least of all Paul, to just get up and go to the North Pole." "Yes, it's unthinkable." "You're right." "It must be a joke." "First of all, in the name of the Father," "the Son, and the Holy Ghost," "and of the Glorious Mother." "I would like to be this foreign woman whose wrinkles you'd erase, the wrinkles of lost loves." "Incredible!" "I don't believe my eyes!" "It's them!" " Who?" " Henrique, Ariane and Lúcio." "Jean..." "Why the North Pole?" "It was Jo?" "o's old dream:" "Meet a kindred spirit with whom he could swing his hips at the Pole." "It wasn't God..." "John Wayne's hips inspired him." "John Wayne's hips?" "I don't get it." "In my husband's dream, John Wayne swung his hips at North Pole." "There have been wilder dreams." "And may I ask, what is the mystery ofJohn Wayne's hips?" "There is none." "It's simple:" "John Wayne limped slightly with his left leg because it was heavier than the right." "The older tailors knew this and tailored the pants legs accordingly." "On the left leg, near the genitals, they drew a small pocket in chalk and always asked their clients:" "Will this do?" "A bit larger?" "That's why." "There was no room for error." "They were always at hand." "Coming to this conclusion, you decided to marry." "We married because we were starved." "Starved for love, if you wish, for love is the child of hunger." "For the Greeks, Eros was the son of Penia, Poverty." "Love is hunger for another life, the desire for transit." "When lovers kiss, they devour each other." "They die into each other, pass into a new being." "Life must not repeat itself, for repetition is immobility, remaining in the same place." "Love compensates death, giving what it takes." "Man perpetuates himself by loving and eating:" "Eat!" "This is my body!" "The body is an absorbed fruit." "Fruit is humus, water and sun." "The fruit turns into spirit, verging on Divinity." "And they said more than that." "For example:" "What's the ass to do with pants?" "My wife knows it all, but there's really little to know." "When I first saw Ariane, I studied her." "Ouch!" "My poor pelvis." "I didn't breathe a word." "I thought:" "She's the one!" "A man, if he's a man, holds on." "Hold on!" "Don't collapse, Jo?" "ozinho!" "I'm not much of a talker." "At the first chance," "I said what Salazar would've said to his governess:" "My dear Maria, we're not to enjoy ourselves." "May I ask:" "Like so many of our compatriots scattered to the four corners of the earth, what made you emigrate?" "You may." "We'd had enough of this caca." "You have no work in our country?" "No work, no nothing." "I don't mind watching others work." "But you've never had a profession?" "Put down "strolling player" or nothing at all." "I don't care." "When I was a kid, I wanted to be a sailor." "I wanted to go to sea with a parrot on my shoulder." "See other climes, other people." "Don't be so modest, my love." "Now he's obsessed with being a landlubber." "Hail, old ocean!" "There was a little boat" "That had never been to sea..." "How will you survive at the Pole?" "On donkey meat?" "By drilling holes in the ice with our magic wand." "My wife and I dislike donkey meat." "We're bons vivants, not democrats." "How will you put up with all the snow?" "Hear that, Ariane?" "The man says we won't resist!" "Let him talk." "You don't seem to know the rascals on TV." "Whoever can survive in this squalor can survive at the North Pole." "Don't worry about us." "If we get bored We'll go to the Moon." "Then is it the same spirit of adventure that led the old Portuguese to discover the new worlds which motivates you now?" "Look, my good man, let's say it's the despair of the modern world." "I am merely a polar émigré." "The artic poles." "I am as old as shit." "My name is Jo?" "o de Deus." "Are you watching, Jean?" "Excuse the dirty trick but a scalded cat fears even cold water." "Ariane will knit some woollen socks for you." "I'll send you a sperm whale for sailing down the river." "Hang in there, old Frenchie!" "Keep trying." "I'm not very media, am I?" "But..." "Come, Luciano, we've fooled another one." "They're mad!" "What's the matter with them?" "They'll never make it!" "Maybe they'll reconsider on the way." "They won't." "They'll go all the way to the stars, those mule-heads." "And what if we went to swing our hips at the North Pole?" "Listen, Marianne:" "Let's swing our hips, even if it's just a whim." "But don't ever mention the North Pole again." "OK?" "All right, dear." " Sorry not to have gone with them?" " A little." "Violent beauty will be erotic yet veiled, explosive yet contained, or it will be nothing." "Not on the couch, anyway."