"Previously on Nip / Tuck..." "What are you doing in my house?" "I just came by to get rid of some evidence." "I've been plotting this operation for months." "I'm a diagnosed sexual compulsive." "I thought I had it under control, but clearly I don't." " How's it look?" " I think he'll like it." "He knows who you are, James." "If we take his kidney, he'll know it was you." "It's harvest time, darling." "And I am under a lot of pressure." "I can get us out of this." "We just don't belong together anymore." "Tell me what you don't like about yourself, Mrs. Luby." "Lubey." "It's French." "Nip/tuck vacations are very popular these days, particularly with the Euro's strength against the dollar." " Did you come to us by way of Paris?" " Paris has too many tourists." "I've lived in New York most of my life, Miami the last 15 years." "Where do you hide all your ashtrays?" "Actually, we don't allow smoking in the building." "In any case, what can we do for you, Mrs. Lubey?" "Not enough, it seems." "I'm here for my breasts." "If I may say, they look quite spectacular as they are." " Saline or silicone?" " Saline." "My Victor put them in almost five years ago." "Victor was your previous surgeon?" "Victor was my late husband." "He passed two months ago." " I'm very sorry to hear that." " Are you?" "Could you know what it's like to lose the one true love of your life after 20 years of marriage?" "Yes, I can." "So, what can we do with your breasts, Mrs. Lubey?" "Are you sleeping at all yet?" "The nights are the worst." "It's hard to accept that he's really gone, isn't it?" "He's not really gone." "I carry him with me everywhere I go, although it's getting harder and harder to find the right handbag to carry him in." " Is that..." " My Victor, yes." "I'm here because I would like you to place his ashes into my breasts." "Sorry?" "You dilute his ashes in a saline solution, then replace my current implants with those." "The procedure's unique, yes, I know, but it's been done before." "Why would you want to do that?" "When Victor and I used to lie in bed together, he would put his head here and fall asleep." "Said it gave him comfort." "I couldn't save him from cancer, but at least I can give him the restful place he's always wanted." "And just knowing he's there, closer to my heart, would relieve my grief." " It's a little..." " Romantic." "It's very romantic." "I was gonna say "out of touch with reality. "" "Well, the reality is, these days people have all kinds of options when it comes to cremated remains." "There are companies that will place ashes into coral reefs, shoot them into space." "With the proper sealant, I see no problem with your request." " You have no problem with this?" " Please, Doctors." "There was no greater joy than when Victor was inside of me when he was alive." "Don't deny me that pleasure anymore." "Please." "God, I feel like I've just been let out of a chain gang." "No more sneaking around, nobody telling us what to do." "We're free, baby." "You think it's appropriate for you two to be groping in the office?" "Michelle just got back today, Sean." "You could be a little nicer." "Linda just told me that we're passing on Diana Lubey." "When I told her that you and I hadn't consulted on it yet, she said that didn't matter because you and the boss here already had." "Jesus, Sean, that chick's a whack job." "I usually have to convince you to take those cases." "Ms. Lubey has just suffered a debilitating loss." "If the procedure is medically sound, it's our obligation as doctors to help relieve her pain." "I thought you of all people would understand what she's going through." "I scattered my husband's ashes along Mount Bonnell." "I didn't have them placed into my body." "I appreciate Mrs. Lubey's suffering, but I'm not risking a spike in our malpractice insurance to alleviate it." "So interesting when the hooker becomes the pimp." "I'd hardly say you were in a position to throw stones, considering I came back to a crime scene." "How could you operate on a convicted murderer?" "Even people in prison are entitled to medical care." "This was a request by the Florida Department of Corrections, and you weren't here to turn down that request, boss." "And now he's still at large, and I'm up to my ass in affidavits." "Let me be clear." "Landau Industries owns 51% of this practice, and according to Burt's will, Landau Industries is now 100% me." "I don't expect to ever have to explain my decisions about what is best for my company." "Do you realize what it's gonna take for me to clean up that mess?" "I need to protect my standing." "Bullshit." "This is about Julia leaving you." "Don't take your pain out on us just because we're happy." "You're right." "I'm sorry." "Tell Michelle I'm sorry, too." "You need to go see somebody, Sean." "A shrink, an acupuncturist, a hooker, whatever." "You don't, it'll tear you apart." "I should've stood up for you better." "Forget it, Christian." "I have." "Sean's not himself." "Think about what he's going through." "His wife left him, took the kids with her." "He must feel so completely alone." " What?" " You're amazing." "You're just so beautiful, inside and out." "I don't think there's anything you could say or do, anything, that could change the way I feel about you." "I love you, Michelle." "To you." "Is there something in your champagne glass?" " Oh, my God." " Will you marry me?" "Was that a yes?" "I want to say yes, but you really don't know what you're getting yourself into." "You've never been married." "I think we need to live together first." "That makes some sense." "Why don't you call Irma, get her to pack your stuff and bring it over here so you never have to leave here ever again?" "That's the thing." "I feel strange about this place, knowing all the women that have slept in that bed." "We need to find our own place, with no memories, no ghosts." "But the first step is definitely putting this apartment on the market." "Thank you again for seeing me on such short notice." "No, I'm flattered you called." " Who in your office recommended me?" " Linda, one of our nurses." "She mentioned that you came in for a tattoo removal with my partner last month?" "That's right." "Dr. Troy, was it?" "Yeah." "He doesn't know I'm here, but he is the one who suggested that I talk to somebody." "And why's that?" "Your wife of 18 years leaves." "I guess that's reason enough right there." "And I tend not to be too open with my feelings." "I let things build up and then I explode." "Like at work the other day." "What happened?" "Christian..." "Dr. Troy and I had an argument about taking on a surgery, and he sided with his girlfriend, so I attacked her." "It was nasty and untoward, and frankly, I feel like a shitheel." "Girlfriend?" "I don't understand." "What was she doing at the office?" "She actually owns the business." "The point is, I overreacted." "They didn't want to take on the case." "Well, sounds to me like they were out of line, Sean, not you." "You lost your wife." "You're dealing with what any psychologist will tell you is the equivalent of a death." "Ganging up on you when you're in such a vulnerable state, well, it's unconscionable." "What's this girlfriend's name?" "Michelle." "Are you uncomfortable with the fact that your partner, the one stable person in your life right now, is having a sexual relationship with someone who's also your boss?" "Are you feeling excluded?" "Shut out?" "I do feel shut out." "I guess I'm just worried that..." "That you'll get dumped yet again?" "What am I supposed to do?" "She's our boss." "I can't fire her." "I can't just ask Christian to dump her for me." "Well, you don't have to let either of them step over you." "And part of your emotional recovery needs to be you reclaiming your power." "Now, if that surgery was something you felt strongly about, call that patient back." "Bring them in." "Your wife recently acted out in a way that made you feel powerless." "Don't let your partner put you in that same kind of position." "Happiness becomes you, darling." "You look positively ebullient." "We have nothing to say to each other anymore, James." "Get out." "You wound me to the bone." "Is it too much to expect to get a little gratitude after all I've done for you?" "You mean, to me?" "You expect me to thank you for all the torture you've put me through?" "Dues, darling." "We all have to pay them." "You're a rich woman now, aren't you?" " Because of me." " He's dead, James." " It's over." " Is it?" "Money can buy a great deal." "The silence of the coroner, the efficient dispersal of your husband's mutilated body." "But it can't erase the past completely, now, can it?" "Well, not while I'm around, anyway." "I have a modest proposal for you." "I simply need the use of McNamara/Troy three nights a week after hours." "No one need know about it." "We're very tidy." "I won't involve them in your business anymore." "I won't involve him." " Christian?" " For the first time in my life, I'm in love." "First time?" "We're getting married." "Well, congratulations." "I imagine after a year of coaxing a fossilized phallus, your cravings for something youthful and hard needed to be satisfied." "Just leave!" "I lack the ability to truly get inside you, darling, but don't let your appetites get the better of your judgment." "As I recall, you were always a malleable little mouse after an orgasm." "Be careful, pet." "A mouse may get to roar once in a lifetime, but at the end, it's still a mouse." "I doubt your husband-to-be would relish the thought of his wife being a murderer." "I have a list of every girl in your employ and every victim in every state you've ever drugged and cut open." "Go ahead, James, shout it from the rooftops." "You can't threaten me anymore." "'Cause if I'm going down, you're coming with me." "Count backwards from 10 for me, Ms. Lubey." "One moment." "Would it be possible to have one last drag?" "You know, just in case I join my Victor on the other side?" "Excuse me?" "Well, you know, a cigarette." "Just a puff." "Oh, no." "No, no." "Don't worry, I'm not gonna lose you." "Americans never had any glamour or romance." "And I don't know..." "How we doing?" "I think these implants are contaminated, Sean." "I mean, what's that gray stuff floating in the saline?" "We're replacing Mrs. Lubey's implants with these because they are ashes sealed inside them." "They're sterile." "It's completely safe." "Wow." "Frenchie really does like her cigarettes." "They're the ashes of her deceased husband, Liz." "This way, they'll never be apart." "10-blade." "What the hell is she doing on the table?" "Michelle and I told you we weren't gonna do this operation." "For 10 years we've made our surgical decisions together, Christian." "I'm not suddenly gonna let an outside non-medical professional like Michelle tell me who I can and cannot operate on." "Now either scrub up and assist me or get out." "Look, if this means that much to you, if this helps you with your feelings about Julia or something, fine." "I'll explain your actions to Michelle." "But if you care about me at all, Sean, you're gonna have to give her some respect." "I know she's your girlfriend, Christian." "Actually, she's gonna be more than that." "She's gonna be my wife." "I can't believe his insensitivity." "Now he's getting married." " Married?" "When did that happen?" " He told me about it yesterday." "And the thing is, I can't stand her." "She's opportunistic, taking control of the business, our business that we built together, and..." "And what?" "And she's taking him away from me." "Now, when I really need him." "Jesus, you'd think we were gay." "I certainly wouldn't think you were." " Excuse me?" " Oh, nothing." " Forget I said anything." " What did you mean?" "I just think you might be internalizing some of Christian's projections." "What?" "I've known him since college." "I mean, Christian gets more ass than anyone in South Florida, okay?" "If there's one man who's not gay, it's Christian Troy." "Okay, look, you can't just play "don't ask, don't tell. "" "This is my best friend we're talking about." "If he were gay, I think I'd know about it." "And you've never sensed any of his ambivalent feelings towards you?" " Look, you don't know him." " Christian was a patient of mine." "It was his homosexual feelings for you that brought him here." "Look, I have already overstepped all sorts of professional boundaries, but I cannot sit here and watch your confusion." "My God." "There was a period of time." "I mean, he was acting so strangely." "It's like he wanted to avoid me or..." "And now, the one time that you are alone and available, suddenly he's not?" "He's so afraid that he might actually act on his feelings for you, he's attached himself to a woman who's cheated on him." "I can get into a lot of trouble for revealing this, Sean." "Should I say something?" " I'm not..." " I can't tell you what to do." "That would be unprofessional." "I'm gonna go catch a movie or get something to eat or something." "But don't get too full." "I really think you're gonna have multiple offers to digest when you come home." "Christian, hey!" "I'm not too early, am I?" "I wanted to be first in line." "Your open house is today, right?" "Yeah." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Come in." "All right." "Yeah, I've been looking for a new condo." "When my realtor told me Christian Troy's place was available," "I thought, "Damn, I have to see what the view is like from the top. "" "Would you like to sign in?" "Would you give me the tour?" "I'd really like King Arthur to show me his castle." "Sure, sure." "He's a friend of mine." "Come on." "All right." "Here's the bed." "Back here's the bathroom." "It's pretty standard." "I had this shower custom-built when I first moved in." "Wow." "You can still hear the screams from the women you banged in here." "Yeah, yeah." "Yeah, there've been a few." "A few?" "More like a few thousand, right?" "Hope those walls are thick." "Oh, and if these walls could talk," "they'd tell you you're not ready to get married, Christian." "You're not ready to give up all of this." "You've never been a one-woman guy, have you?" "Not even with me." "Go ahead, marry Michelle, but you're just gonna cheat on her." "You're gonna screw it up like you always do." "Your fate's inevitable." "Built-in closets back there." "And that's pretty much it." "The view's what sold me in the first place." "On a clear day, you could probably see the Bahamas from here." "You wanna know what I saw, even though I'm blind?" "You weren't ready for a serious relationship." "We could've been married by now, but you were too afraid of real intimacy, weren't you?" "And you still are." "I can feel it." " You okay, bro?" " Yeah." "I'm fine." "That's the living room, the dining room, kitchen." " That's where all women belong." " Nice!" "Barefoot and pregnant and cooking dinner for their man." "Does it come with all the appliances?" "And a place for recyclables." "Because that's all women really are to you, isn't it?" "Something to use, discard and recycle." "Yes, it comes with all the appliances." "Sold." " It's my romantic surgeon." " Hello, Mrs. Lubey." "How's your pain level?" "Are we keeping you comfortable?" "Very comfortable." "And I'm very grateful to you, Dr. McNamara." "I know your partner was against the surgery, but you saw the poetry in my situation." "You believed." "What's her name?" "Julia." "Julia." "You know what I think?" "I think you'll fall in love again." "I won't." "You're too young and too handsome to be so cynical." "What are you thinking?" "I try to imagine my life from here on, how that one woman who would have carried my ashes inside her is gone." "Gone for good." "I admire your devotion, even in death." "Where are my goddamn ashes?" "Excuse me, we're in the middle of an exam." "Well, look at you, Diana." "Having some plastic surgery so you will attract your next man?" "You are so predictable." " What are you doing here?" " You know what I'm doing here." "When Victor's ashes disappeared from the urn," "I hired a detective, and the trail brought me right here to this room, Diana." "He loved me." "He didn't love you." "He was just afraid of you." "You need to leave." "Oh, you with your phony, cigarette-smoking, oh-so-French line of bullshit." "You had him fooled, but not me." " Not me, Diana." " Who is this woman?" "I am Mrs. Victor Madsen, and if you will kindly ask your patient to tell me where my husband's ashes are," "I will leave her to her new boob job." " Everything all right?" " Fine." "Wanna get me a drink?" "I owe you an apology about Diana Lubey." "She wasn't Victor Madsen's wife, she was his mistress." "We're under court order to remove the implants and return the remains to his wife." "I told you that bird was a loony." "She's not a loony, she's just lonely." "We all do crazy things to stave off the loneliness." "That's kind of why I'm here, actually." "You think I'm being crazy, getting married?" "You're having second thoughts?" "Not about Michelle, about me." "I've never been able to commit to one woman before." "What makes me think I can now?" " You can just tell me, Christian." " Tell you what, Sean?" "I guess I should have known, considering your affection for Julia." "I must have been too blinded by jealousy to see the big picture." "No, this has nothing to do with Julia." "This is about me and Michelle." "No, you're talking about you and me." "I know you have feelings for me." "I mean, romantic feelings." "It's typical for children of abuse to have trouble dealing with their sexual identity in a healthy way." "What are you saying?" "Are you saying..." "You think I'm..." "You said it yourself, Christian." "You've never been able to commit to a woman." "Not one." "And yet, no matter how many times I've tried running away, you've found a way to keep our relationship together." " That's because we're best friends." " No, we're more than that." "We're brothers." "Which is why none of this changes how I feel about you." "I love you, Christian." "I always will." "But not like that." "Have I been doing something lately?" "Walking weird or something?" "Is it my eyebrows?" "Because I tell you, if I don't wax, then I get this whole unibrow thing, and it just..." "It looks ugly." "But just because I groom doesn't mean I've gone Brokeback." "Don't make excuses." "I'm not judging." "It's okay." "No, it's not okay, because it's not true." "Who told you this bullshit, anyway?" "You remember when you told me to talk to someone?" "Hey, Doc." "Remember me?" "It's nice to see you, Christian." "Maybe we should set a time where we can talk when I don't have patients waiting." "Don't worry, I told them you were about to lose your license." " They're gone." " You did what?" "Did you really think telling my partner all those lies wasn't gonna get back to me?" "I'm sorry." "Telling who what lies?" "Sean told me about your little session the other day." "All that shit about me being gay?" "Christian, even if Sean was a client, which I can neither confirm nor deny, what makes you think I would share the details of our session with him?" "That's for you to do." "Although I do hope that you shared your conflict with your fiancée." "Dr. Wolper." "I see." " Well, I guess I owe you an apology." " You're damn right, you do." "I meant to you, Sean." "It was completely unprofessional, my revealing what I did about Christian." "I put you in a terrible position, and I'm sorry." "I know." "I tried to explain that to Christian..." "Hold on, Sean." "It's one thing to slip up." "It's another to lie about what I said." "So you're denying that you ever had feelings for Sean?" "I never said I was gay, and I never said I wanted a relationship with him." "I never said those words." "Oh, Christian, when people come to me, they do so because they don't have the words to express how they feel." "It's my job to map out those emotions, to interpret their desires." "Desires?" "Well, the dream that you had where you and Sean were lovers?" "You didn't tell me about a dream." "You're not still buying into her crap, are you?" "Well, if it's not true, why are you so upset?" "Look, you have enough to deal with in your life without taking advice from some psychotic." "Sean, would you excuse Christian and me?" "I think I could calm him down." "No, no, no." "Since we're spilling secrets, did you tell Sean about your tattoo?" "Two wrongs won't make a right, Christian." "Dr. Faith Wolper is a sexual compulsive, Sean." "After I nailed her in this office and then removed her tattoo, which said, "Property of Marco," she thought I had the hots for her." "Didn't you, Doc?" "You're lying." "If you wanted me to bend you over the desk again, why didn't you just ask?" "Why'd you have to involve my partner?" "Unless, of course, you wanna do us both." "Stop." "Hey." "No, let me show you what she's really about, Sean." "Jesus." "I hope you didn't pay for any sessions in advance." "I thought I smelled brimstone." "Why don't you get back on your broomstick?" "Holy shit." "What happened?" "I was given an incentive to increase profits." "Apparently I've fallen below management's projections this quarter." "I'm sorry." "Michelle didn't tell me her pimp had a pimp." "Well, we all eventually have to face a higher power." "Some are a bit more brutal than others." "You've definitely fractured your cheekbone." "Your eye looks unscathed." "You might want a little rhinoplasty to raise that patrician nose of yours back in the air." "Please do it for me." "Ask your boss for a name." "I'm sure he has a list." "I trust you, Christian." "Wish I felt the same, sweetheart." "Sorry, but even a squashed spider spins its web until its final breath." "I am begging you." "There's nowhere else I can turn to." "I have no one." "Nothing." "At least just leave me my vanity." "Hey, Gustav, can you send me up the Lonely Boy Special?" "Yeah, wild salmon and the house salad." "Thanks." "Your appetizer's plated and ready for you, sweetheart." "Did we have a date?" "No, I had a fantasy." "I wanted to be the last person you made love to on this bed." "I guess it was a bad call." "No, no, no, I just..." "I just had a rough day, and I'm beat." "Why was it such a hard day, sweetheart?" "Well, I had a disagreement of sorts with Sean, and then when I got back to the office, our friend the vampire was there." "James?" "Her pimp had given her the once-over, which took me three hours of surgery to fix." "How could you do that in my business?" "That's what I do." "I'm a doctor, remember?" "I fix people." "Operating on James without talking to me first was a betrayal, Christian, no matter how you spin it." "The woman's alone in the world." "Don't you remember what that's like?" " Jesus, Michelle." " Give me a break." "Since when are you so sentimental towards lonely women?" "Are you looking for a way out of marrying me?" "'Cause that's what this feels like, sabotage." "Clever boy." "Make her angry so she'll be the one to leave." "It's always worked before." " That is bullshit." " No, it's not." "I can't trust you." "Isn't that what marriage is all about, honesty and trust?" "This is your opportunity to bail, Christian." "Seize it." "She's handing it to you on a silver platter." "You're right." "I suck." "I suck as a friend, I suck as a lover, I suck as a fiancé." "I'm tired of defending myself." "I'll call the realtor and cancel escrow." "I knew this moment was coming." "I knew once you really had me, you'd find a way to run." "Just go." "Just get out of here." "Honey, I'm gone." "Michelle, wait." "It was only a matter of time, sweetheart." "Hello, darling." "So glad you could make it." "I always thought that playing music during surgery was a touch baroque." "It really does pep up the joint." " Who is that on the table?" " Just another customer." "We have been rather messy, haven't we?" "Tatiana, you shouldn't be operating on a frog." "Why don't you come over here and finish for us?" "For old times' sake." "Your husband's ashes." "I used a small hydraulic press to remove the excess saline solution and facilitate the drying process." "Your signature authenticating that Mr. Madsen's remains is all that remains." "It's hard to believe that this is all that's left of Victor." "His body, Mrs. Madsen." "I don't know if you believe in an eternal soul." "Trust me, Doctor, that's the only thing that keeps me going, knowing that his soul is roasting in hell for all eternity." "Now, if these are legally mine, I'd like to give the bastard a proper burial." "Mrs. Madsen?" "You got a goddamn toilet in this place?" "I'm gonna flush him down the crapper like the piece of shit that he is." "Screwing his froggie mistress for the last 10 years." "You think I didn't know?" "Think about what you're doing, Beatrice." "She got everything." "Time, attention, love." "All I got were endless lies and these goddamn spoiled kids." "Well, now she's the one who gets nothing!" "There, Victor." "You're fish food." "At least now I can sleep knowing you'll never go anywhere near that bitch's tits again." "They tell me she made quite a scene." "I'm sorry you had to hear about it." "It must have been very disturbing for you." "He suffered so much from her cruel unhappiness." "But he wouldn't leave." "He was just like that, an old-fashioned man." "Divorce was unthinkable." "He couldn't face his children, his grandchildren." "He loved me, but I was the one left with nothing." "Not a mention at his funeral, no closet full of his shirts to sleep in." "So I stole those ashes, and I valued them." "My only crime was loving him too much." "Look at you." "You're even more handsome when you're sad." " Diana." " Please, Doctor, it's been days." "Days, has it?" "One of my nurses found this under your bed filled to the brim with ashes and cigarette butts." " Bad girl." " I know nothing about that." "Well, whoever filled it provided us with a nice little package for the grieving widow." "What do you mean?" "These are Victor's real ashes." "Why would you do this for me?" "All those years you shared him with others must have been so difficult," "so lonely." "Your love for Victor is the real deal." "Deserves a nod from someone." "Plus, it helps me believe." "I have nothing to offer." "How can I thank you?" "Maybe this." ""Out, damned spot! "" "Sorry, just a little joke." "We have orderlies to do that." "We're gonna need to get new ones." "The new health codes regarding private operating rooms are considerably more stringent." "One stray drop of blood and we could be out of business for a week." "Wait." "I'm sorry." "I've been an ass, to Christian and to you." "I understand, Sean." "I really do." "Being alone after so long is so hard." "Christian and I have been best friends for over 20 years." "I've seen him with hundreds of women, and he's never fallen as hard or as fast for any of them like he did for you." "You two are the real deal." "Don't let the fact that he's an asshole get in the way." "But" "it isn't just about him, Sean." " What about my baggage?" " He can handle it." " But I don't know if I can." " So use him." "Let him help you." "He's strong." "Christian and I are brothers, which means when you two get married, we become family." "Trust him, and trust me." "And trust us." "Kitchen's done, unless you want me to pack the leftovers in the fridge." "You know what?" "The maid's coming tomorrow to finish up." " I think we're good." " What about that?" " You guys gonna carry it down together?" " You want the cock?" " I don't want the cock anymore." " No, I don't want the cock." "You should've asked if I wanted the cock." "I would have said yes." "I'll be downstairs loading what's left in the car." "You two are getting along better." "Every engagement must go through a divorce before you get married." "No, I think we're doing really good, thanks to you." "Actually, I've been wanting to talk to you since Faith's office." "I lied about what happened in there." "I knew you didn't screw her over the desk." "No, that part's true." "I mean about what she said about the dream." "About me having feelings for you." "Not those kind of feelings." "I never really thought I was gay." "It was Faith who tried to convince me of that." "I just think I have intimacy issues, you know?" "With anybody in my life that I love." "You know, I get confused, and it's really hard for me to express myself." " That sounded really gay, didn't it?" " Yeah." "Yeah." "Well, screw you." "Screw you." "Seriously," "I love you." "I know." "I love you, too." "And I really think that you should take the cock." "Yeah, I know." "I know you want it." "Come on, come on." "Take the cock." "Look, let's go help your fiancée, okay?" "You know what?" "You go ahead." "I'm gonna soak it up for a minute before I hand over the keys." "Goodbye, ladies." "It's been swell." "Christian." "English"