"[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]" "ANDIT'SNOTSOREOR...?" "IT DOESN'T, LIKE, LEAK OR ANYTHING?" "NO." "NO." "OKAY." "OKAY, AND IS THIS 50" "MILLILITERS?" "THAT'S 50 MILLI" " SO, THAT'S HOW MUCH WILL BE IN " "OKAY, UH... [ SIGHS ]" "OKAY." "OKAY." "[CHUCKLES]" "MYNAME'SPATRICKMOOTE." "I LIVE IN LOS ANGELES, AND" "APPARENTLY I HAVE A SMALL PENIS." "I DIDN'T KNOW THAT IT WAS SMALL" "BECAUSE NO ONE HAD EVER TOLD ME" "THAT UNTIL I PROPOSED TO MY" "GIRLFRIEND AND SHE SAID NO BECAUSE OF IT." "YOUKNOWTHOSE"KISSCAMS "" "THEY HAVE AT SPORTING EVENTS?" "YEAH,I 'MSURE YOU'VE SEEN THEM." "WELL, THEY HAD ONE AT UCLA, AND" "YOU PROBABLY WILL CRINGE WATCHING THIS, BUT TAKE A GOOD" "LOOK AT WHAT HAPPENED TWO DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS." "WHAT'SGOINGON ?" "WAIT A MINUTE!" "THIS MIGHT BE A LITTLE MORE THAN A KISS." "[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]" "NO." "THIS -- [ CROWD MURMURING ]" "WHOO-HOO-HOO!" ""YES"ISTHEANSWER!" "YES!" "[ CROWD OHHs ]" "OH,MYGOD." "SHEWENTRUNNING!" "SOMETIMES WE GET A LITTLE CAMERA-SHY." "I UNDERSTAND." "IT HAPPENS." "OHH,PAINFUL." "CLEARLY NOT THE RESPONSE THAT HE WAS EXPECTING." "VIDEO OF A PROPOSAL GONE WRONG HIT YouTube ON MONDAY." "¶HEYIJUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU SAID NO." "LIKE, THAT'S COLD-BLOODED." "ITHINKSHEJUSTWASSO," "LIKE, SHOCKED AND EMBARRASSED." "THEGUYIS JUST LEFT THERE IN SHAME." "WHATTHEHELLIS WRONG WITH YOU?" "!" "AREALLYEMBARRASSINGMOMENT" "FOR A UCLA BASKETBALL FAN." "[SPEAKINGNATIVELANGUAGE]" "YOUMUSTFEELLIKE A REAL ASS, MAN." "[ CROWD OHHs ]" "[ LAUGHTER ]" "AW!" "WHODOYOUFEELSORRY FOR HERE " " HER OR HIM?" "IT'SSOUGLY." "IMEAN,IFEELBADFORBOTH" "OF THEM 'CAUSE SHE PROBABLY WAS" "SHOCKED AND DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO IN THE MOMENT." "ITHINKIT GOESDEEPERTHAN" "THAT, MUCH DEEPER THAN THAT." "IDIDN'TREALIZETHAT SIZE MATTERS THAT MUCH." "IN FACT, I DON'T THINK THAT SIZE MATTERS THAT MUCH." "I DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU COULD SAY" "NO TO A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL BECAUSE OF..." "THAT." "I THINK THAT THE MEN OF THE" "WORLD DESERVE AN ANSWER TO THIS" "QUESTION, AND SO I'M GONNA FIND" "IT [BREATHES DEEPLY] WITH THIS COCK-UMENTARY." "¶HEYHEY !" "OVER50%OF THEWORLD'SMALE" "POPULATION FEELS INADEQUATELY HUNG." "THAT MEANS THAT ALMOST TWO" "BILLION MEN WORLDWIDE THINK THAT" "THEIR PENIS IS TOO SMALL." "PUTITIN ." "[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]" "ITISIN ." "BUTWITHSO MANYSIZE" "STATISTICS OUT THERE, WHERE DO I FIT IN?" "THESCHOOLPUTTHE SIZESOF" "ALL OUR PENISES UP ON A BIG" "CHART IN THE SCHOOL HALLWAY!" "OURWHOLELIVES,WE'VEBEEN" "FED THE IDEA THAT BIGGER IS BETTER." "SO, I'VE ASKED A COUPLE BUDDIES" "TO HELP ME MAKE A FILM TO ANSWER" "THE QUESTION, "AM I TOO SMALL?"" "[GASPS]" "[ Chuckling ] I'M REALLY SORRY." "IWASIN THEPOOL!" "I WAS IN THE POOL!" "I GOT TO GET OUT AND SEE WHAT" "REAL PEOPLE THINK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED." "WHENI SAWTHATAND YOU TO" "GET DENIED LIKE THAT -- ESPECIALLY IN PUBLIC " " IS" "ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS." "YEAH,I KNOW." "THAT'SHARD." "THAT'SSOEMBARRASSING,MAN ." "SHETOLDME THATONE OFTHE" "MAIN REASONS THAT SHE DIDN'T" "THINK THAT WE WERE RIGHT FOR" "EACH WAS BECAUSE MY PENIS WAS A" "LITTLE TOO SMALL FOR HER." "ITHINKTHATSEX ISA  VERY IMPORTANT PART OF A" "RELATIONSHIP." "LIKE, IF YOU'RE WILLING TO COMMITMENT YOURSELF TO ONE" "PERSON, LIKE, THEY BETTER BE ABLE TO MAKE YOU COME." "[ LAUGHTER ]" "HOWITFEELS" "IFIT 'S" "TINY " " YOU KNOW, AT TIMES, IF" "IT'S TINY, YOU CAN'T FEEL IT TOO MUCH." "IF IT'S BIGGER, YOU LIKE FEEL IT, YOU KNOW?" "YOUGUYSCOMFORTABLE WITH YOUR " "  OH, YEAH." "OH,YEAH." "VERYMUCH?" "HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SITUATION" "WHERE MAYBE YOU'RE TOO BIG?" "YES." "REALLY?" "WHATWASTHATLIKE ?" "ITSUCKED'CAUSESHE CRIED." "SHECRIED?" "YEAH." "OH,HONEY,PLEASE." "IT'S NOT THE OCEAN IN THE MOTION." "IT'S ABOUT HOW YOU WORK IT." "OKAY." "ANDLOOKAT YOURLIPS." "COME ON." "OH, PLEASE!" "HELLO?" "PRETTY." "IKNOW." "WHOWOULDNOTDOTHIS ?" "IF I WEREN'T MARRIED, I WOULD DO HIM." "COULDYOULOVESOMEONEWHO" "HAD, LIKE, NO PENIS AT ALL?" "YOUMEANLIKEAVAGINA?" "WELL- -[ CHUCKLES]" "THERE'SSOMEPILLS,ITHINK..." "REALLY?" "...THATHELPSIT GROW." "IT'S CALLED, LIKE -- [ LAUGHS ]" "WHAT'S THEM PILLS CALLED?" "[SPEAKINGINDISTINCTLY]" "YEAH." "WHAT'SITCALLED?" "EXTENZE." "OKAY." "YEAH,YEAH,YEAH." "I THINK I'VE HEARD OF THAT." "YEAH." "ITCOULDHELPYOU." "YOU SHOULD TRY IT." "I'MHEADINGHOMETOSEATTLE" "TO SEE WHAT MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY THINK." "YOU KNOW, I JUST GO TALK TO SOME" "OF THEM AND TELL THEM WHAT HAPPENED AND, YOU KNOW, JUST" "PROVE TO EVERYONE THAT THIS ISN'T A PROBLEM." "I GREW UP ON WHIDBEY ISLAND, POPULATION 58,000." "I WAS RAISED ON A SMALL FARM" "ALONG WITH MY BROTHER, BRIAN, AND MY LOVING PARENTS." "THEN MY BROTHER AND I RAN OFF TO" "L.A. TO BECOME COMEDIANS, BUT" "I'M MORE THE SERIOUS ACTOR." "DARREN!" "SORRY,BRO." "THISISMY HOME." "LET'S SEE IF MOM'S HERE." "[ DOG BARKING ]" "HELLO?" "HEY, QUIET." "QUIET, YOU GUYS." "PATTY." "HI,MOM." "HOWAREYOU?" "GOOD." "HOWAREYOU ?" "I'MGOOD." "GOODTOSEEYOU ." "GOODTOSEEYOU ,TOO ." "ITHINKTHAT'SMYSWEATSHIRT." "ITIS." "YOUSHRUNKIT." "NOW IT'S MINE." "NOW IT'S HERS." "THIS IS EVERYBODY." "HI,EVERYBODY." "OKAY, YOU CAN GRAB HAY AND THROW IT IN THE BACK." "THAT'S LEXIE." "LEXIE." "OH,EASYNOW !" "WHOA, LOOK AT HOW BIG ITS MOUTH OPENED." "AH!" "SO,THISPROPOSAL " "  MM-HMM." "ITWASFILMED?" "UH-OH." "ANDITDIDEND  UP ON THE INTERNET." "OH." "SHEWASN'TSUPER THRILLED ABOUT IT." "WELL,I WOULDASKWHATSHE" "SAID, BUT I PROBABLY DON'T WANT TO KNOW." "SHESAIDTHAT" "OH,GOD," "THIS IS SO WEIRD " " UM, THAT MY PENIS IS TOO SMALL." "AH!" "SHE SAID THAT TO YOU?" "YEAH." "OHH." "OUCH." "SHE'S OBVIOUSLY NOT WHO YOU THOUGHT SHE WAS." "RIGHT." "NOTWHOITHOUGHTSHEWAS." "YOUKNOW,IREALLY CARED ABOUT HER." "MM." "OH, SWEETIE, THERE'S PLENTY OF" "PEOPLE OUT " " THERE'S SOMEONE OUT THERE..." "YEAH." "...THATISN'TGOINGTO RUN YOU DOWN LIKE THIS." "THAT'S JUST " " THAT'S -- [ SIGHS ] I'M SORRY, SWEETIE." "WHATAREYOULOOKINGFOR?" "IDON'TKNOW, LIKE YEARBOOKS OR..." "OH,THEY'REIN THISBOX ." "ARETHEY?" "YEAH." "AH!" "NICE." "RIGHTNEXTTO THEJOSE CANSECO DREAM TEAM CARD." "THEJOSECANSECO DREAM " " LOOK AT THAT." "THAT'S A HOT CANSECO." "YEAH,ITIS ." "HEREARETHEYEARBOOKS." "SOFULLOF OPTIMISM." "HADN'TDISCOVEREDYET THAT MY PENIS WAS SMALL." "ANDCONFIDENCE." "LOOK AT THAT FACE." "WOW." "PROM2002." "THESEAREALLNOTES FROM MY EX-GIRLFRIEND." "IWONDERIF ANYOFTHEM SAYS" "ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR WIENER SIZE." "LET'SREADONE." ""I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT I AM" "SO SORRY FOR THE WAY THAT I" "OVERREACTED, AND I'M SORRY FOR" "HURTING YOU WHEN I WALKED DOWN THE ROAD WITH DEREK." "I WAS BEING A BAD GIRLFRIEND." "I'M SORRY A THOUSAND TIMES."" "ITHINKYOUNEEDTOREALIZE" "THAT IT WAS JUST THIS CHICK." "RIGHT." "ANDSHEJUSTKNEWTHAT IT" "WOULD HURT YOU, AND SHE WANTED" "TO " " GIRLS DO THAT, MAN." "THEY'RE MEAN." "I" "YEAH." "ANDDON'TJUSTGET  WRAPPED UP IN IT..." "IGETWHATYOU 'RESAYING." "...'CAUSEYOUCANLET THIS" "KIND OF STUFF MAKE YOU CRAZY." "LIKE,SURE,MAYBEI'M" "REALIZING THAT IT HIT A SOFT SPOT BECAUSE, YES " "BECAUSEYOURLITTLE,FLACCID PENIS WAS A SOFT SPOT?" "YOU'RESUCHAN ASSHOLE." "I'MJOKING." "SORRY." "RIGHT." "SQUAREDITUP OVERYOURRIGHT" "FOOT, STRAIGHT UP, FOLLOW THROUGH." "OH, MY GOD, THAT LOOKED LIKE CHARLES BARKLEY." "[CHUCKLES]" "THERE WERE SEVERAL REASONS WHY" "SHE THOUGHT WE SHOULDN'T GET" "MARRIED, BUT ONE OF THEM WAS " "SHE SAID THAT MY, UH " " SHE SAID" "THAT MY PENIS IS TOO SMALL FOR HER." "[Chuckling]SHE SAIDTHAT ?" "YEAH." "[CHUCKLES]UH..." "DOES THAT HAVE ANY BEARING ON HEREDITY?" "IDON'TKNOW." "DOESIT?" "[LAUGHS]" "WELL,I GOTTO TELL YOU I'M A SMALL HANGER." "RIGHT." "IPROBABLYWASALITTLEBIT" "AMISS IN NOT TALKING IN MORE" "DETAIL WITH YOU ABOUT ALL THESE" "THINGS WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP." "IT WAS A RATHER EMBARRASSING TOPIC TO TALK ABOUT." "ITSTILLIS ." "THERE'S A LOT OF SIMILARITIES GOING ON HERE, I KNOW." "ISEE." "BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHAT " " WHEN" "THE TIME COMES, I'M JUST SHOCKED" "AT HOW ADEQUATE I DO BECOME." "WE'REATMY BUDDYAUBREY'S" "HOUSE, HAVING A LITTLE BARBECUE." "GOT SOME FRIENDS FROM OLD SCHOOL HANGING OUT." "SO, I SET UP A CAMERA WHERE PEOPLE CAN TALK ABOUT ME," "CANDIDLY, YOU KNOW, WHAT THEY" "REMEMBER ABOUT ME FROM HIGH" "SCHOOL, ANY STORIES THAT THEY HAVE, ANYTHING FUNNY." "I WANTED TO SET THIS UP, THOUGH," "SO THAT PEOPLE FELT A LITTLE MORE COMFORTABLE." "I DON'T KNOW IF PEOPLE ARE GONNA" "BE AS HONEST TO MY FACE." "PATRICKANDIHAD A" " HIS" "FIRST EXPERIENCE IN THE BEDROOM." "I DON'T REMEMBER MUCH." "I THOUGHT WE WERE JUST MAKING" "OUT, BUT APPARENTLY I TOOK HIS VIRGINITY." "[LAUGHS]" "SO..." "OURBUDDYASKEDONE OFPAT'S" "EX-GIRLFRIEND'S, YOU KNOW, "HOW BIG IS PAT?"" "YOU KNOW?" ""IS PAT SMALL IN THE PANTS?" "HOW BIG IS IT?" "HOW BIG IS IT?"" "YOU KNOW, PUTTING-UP-HIS-HANDS KIND OF THING." "AND SHE RAISED UP ONE HAND AND" "THEN CLOSED IT DOWN AND WENT LIKE THIS." "AND WE ALL DIED." "HEDEFINITELYCAN TALK A GOOD GAME." "ITHINKHE USESHIS COMEDYTO" "COVER UP HIS INSECURITIES." "ANDSOJASONSHIRECAME UP" "WITH THE TERM OF "PICKLE DICK."" ""PATTY PICKLE DICK."" ""PATTY WHACK PICKLE DICK."" "AND IT JUST KIND OF STUCK WITH" "HIM, AND IT GOT UNDER HIS SKIN REALLY, REALLY BAD." ""WHAT'SUP,PICKLE?"" "AND HE'D LIKE GIVE ME THIS LIKE GLARE OR WHATEVER." "AND I WAS KIND OF LIKE, "FUCK YOU," YOU KNOW?" "LIKE, "IT'S YOUR NICKNAME."" "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" "EVER SINCE THIS, LIKE, IT'S" "NEVER " " YOU KNOW, IT'S NEVER" "LEFT ME, THE FACT THAT, YOU" "KNOW, I'VE HEARD ABOUT..." "WHAT?" "YOUMIGHTBE ALITTLESMALL." "SHUTTHEFUCKUP." "WHATEVER." "I 'MJUSTSAYING." "I WASN'T SURPRISED TO HEAR THAT." "UH..." "OKAY." "AT10,11 ,YOUWEREWHAT WE" "WOULD SAY IS A LITTLE BIT ABOVE AVERAGE HEIGHT." "BY THE TIME YOU WERE 13 AND 14," "YOU WERE AVERAGE HEIGHT, AND THERE'S A REASON FOR THAT." "YOU WOULD BE A GUY WHO WAS MAYBE" "A LITTLE BIT MORE LATE THAN" "AVERAGE TO START GOING THROUGH PUBERTY." "MYSITUATIONOCCURRED,AND I" "BECAME VERY INSECURE ABOUT MY" "BODY AND BECAME VERY KIND OF INTERESTED IN WHERE THESE" "INSECURITIES COME FROM IN MEN." "WHENI WASAKID AND YOU HAD" "A P.E. CLASS, 40, 50 GUYS," "THEY'D GO INTO THE LOCKER ROOM," "EVERYBODY GETS NAKED, YOU PUT ON" "YOUR JOCKSTRAP AND YOUR SHORTS" "AND YOUR T-SHIRT, AND YOU GO OUT AND DO P.E. CLASS." "THEN WHEN YOU'RE DONE, YOU COME" "BACK, YOU TAKE ALL THAT STUFF" "OFF, YOU TAKE A SHOWER, PUT YOUR" "CLOTHES ON, YOU GO BACK TO CLASS." "NOW " " UNH-UNH." "A LOT OF KIDS DO NOT SEE A LOT OF OTHER NAKED PEOPLE." "INEVERDID." "I WOULD NEVER GET NAKED IN GYM CLASS." "YEAH." "THE GUYS IN FOOTBALL AND THAT" "KIND OF STUFF " " THEY'D EITHER" "SHOWER IN THEIR SHORTS, OR THEY'D GO HOME AND SHOWER." "IWOULDGO HOMEAND SHOWER." "ANDGUYSMY AGE JUST GO, "WHAT?"" "WHATEFFECTDO YOUTHINKTHAT" "NOT HAVING THAT EXPERIENCE AS A" "YOUNG PERSON NOWADAYS HAS ON THEM?" "ITHINKPEOPLEWORRYMORE , ACTUALLY, I WOULD GUESS." "AND CERTAINLY IF YOU HAD HALF A" "DOZEN WOMEN SAY SOMETHING TO YOU" "AND THIS IS IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO" "YOU, YOU'RE PROBABLY GONNA GO" "AFTER THE PENIS ENLARGERS." "SO, I THINK THE EASIEST WAY TO" "GO ABOUT THIS TO KEEP THINGS" "STRAIGHT " " BECAUSE I'M A LITTLE" "DISORGANIZED AT TIMES " " IS TO" "PUT EVERYTHING UP ON MY BULLETIN BOARD." "EX-LADIES " " GIRLS THAT I'VE" "DATED, PEOPLE THAT WOULD KNOW." "[ SIGHS ]" "ALL RIGHT, THIS IS IT." "[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]" "HEY." "UM..." "DO YOU -- DO YOU HAVE A SECOND?" "RIGHTNOW?" "YEAH,RIGHTNOW." "ALLRIGHT." "DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH?" "I MEAN, YEAH, I WOULD LIKE THE TRUTH." "YEAH,ITCOULDBEBIGGER." "I MEAN, YEAH." "ICOULDBE BIGGER?" "THREE...?" "LIKE A THREE?" "COME ON." "ALL RIGHT, WELL, SHE'S OBVIOUSLY" "PISSED AT ME OR SOMETHING 'CAUSE" "SCALE OF ONE TO 10 " " A THREE?" "THAT'S RIDICULOUS." "DOYOUREMEMBERANYTHING ABOUT MY MAYBE, LIKE, SIZE," "IN PARTICULAR, LIKE...?" "WHAT?" "!" "IFI WANTAREALANSWER,I" "NEED A PROFESSIONAL OPINION." "NO MORE ANGRY GIRLFRIENDS." "THIS IS THE OFFICE OF DR. JENNIFER BERMAN." "SHE'S ACTUALLY A REALLY FAMOUS UROLOGIST." "IF EVER THERE WAS A PERSON WHO" "COULD TELL ME KIND OF WHERE I" "FIT, IN TERMS OF SIZE, SHE'S THE ONE." "THEAVERAGEPENILESIZEIS" "ANYWHERE BETWEEN 4" AND 6", ON STRETCH." "MM-HMM." "THAT'SNORMAL." "THE OTHER THING THAT MEN ARE" "CONCERNED ABOUT IS GIRTH, IS WIDTH." "WAS THAT SOMETHING THAT SHE TALKED ABOUT OR...?" "WEREALLYDIDN'TGET  INTO THE SPECIFICS." "'CAUSEITCOULDBETHAT SHE" "COULDN'T COME UP WITH ANYTHING BETTER TO SAY." "SHE MAY NOT HAVE REALIZED THAT" "THE ABSOLUTE WORST THING YOU" "COULD PROBABLY SAY IS THAT." "YEAH,THATWASPRETTYBAD." "SO,I 'LLEXAMINEYOU,AND" "EITHER WAY, YOU NEED TO GET BACK ON THE HORSE." "THE MORE YOU OBSESS, THE MORE YOU FOCUS, THE MORE YOU" "RUMINATE, YOU KNOW, THE NEXT" "THING THAT'S GONNA BE HAPPENING" "IS THAT YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TROUBLE GETTING AN ERECTION." "SO, LET'S EXAMINE." "I'LL BRING YOU BACK HERE." "HANG ON ONE SEC." "SO, YOU GUYS AREN'T GONNA BE IN" "HERE WHEN THIS HAPPENS, ARE YOU?" "NOPE." "[CHUCKLES]" "YOU'RENOTGONNA LAUGH OR ANYTHING?" "[CHUCKLES]" "NO, I'M LAUGHING AT THEM IN" "HERE, LIKE, GROOVING ON THIS." "OKAY, SO, GUYS, WE'RE GONNA HAVE" "YOU GO OUT, AND THEN I'LL EXAMINE YOU, OKAY?" "COOL." "OKAY,SO,GO AHEADAND " "WECANDO IT " " IMEAN,HOW" "SHOULD " " WHAT'S EASIEST?" "STANDING, MAYBE?" "YEAH." "[ UNZIPPING ]" "[CLEARSTHROAT]" "I MEAN, IT'S BASICALLY OFFICIAL." "AS DR. BERMAN PUT IT, I AM THE" "MALE EQUIVALENT OF A GIRL WITH AN "A" CUP." "COME HERE." "JUMP." "GOOD BOY." "WHATDOYOU THINK BOSS THINKS?" "DOES BOSS FEEL YOUR PAIN?" "HEFEELSIT ." "HE KNOWS." "HE'S GOT A TINY DICK, TOO." "I'VE SEEN IT." "PATHETIC." "AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, THERE'S" "ONLY ONE THING LEFT TO DO, AND THAT IS..." "FIX IT." "MOSTMENWISHTHEYCOULD HAVE A BIGGER PENIS." "BUTUNTILRECENTLY,THEREWAS" "LITTLE A MAN COULD DO TO IMPROVE" "ON WHAT NATURE HAD GIVEN HIM." "ISAYGO LONGWITHEXTENZE!" "ANDWESPENDALMOST $5 BILLION A YEAR ON" "PENIS-ENHANCEMENT PRODUCTS." "THAT'S MORE THAN THE ENTIRE BUDGET FOR THE RED CROSS." "ONE OF THESE HAS TO WORK FOR ME." "SO, WE'RE HEADED DOWN TO SAN DIEGO, TO MEET DR. KAPLAN," "THE KING OF THE PENIS PUMPS." "THELADIESWANTTHE GUYSTO" "HAVE A BIG PENIS, GUYS WANT TO" "HAVE A BIG PENIS, AND THE GAY" "GUYS WANT TO HAVE BIG PENISES." "EVERYBODY WANTS TO HAVE A BIG PENIS." "THIS IS THE HOME OFFICE." "WOW." "THERE'SALLTHE PUMPS WE HAVE HERE." "BUT WITH A PUMP, YOU'RE BRINGING" "BLOOD FLOW INTO THE PENIS." "THE CAPILLARIES EXPAND AND" "DILATE, BREAK DOWN AND REBUILD LIKE BODYBUILDING." "MM-HMM." "THEMUSCLETISSUEDOES" "EXPAND, AND YOU DO GET BIGGER PERMANENTLY." "YOU TRY TO GET YOUR PENIS AS ERECT AS POSSIBLE." "PUT IT OVER THERE." "MM-HMM." "ANDTHENYOURPENISWILL GET" "HARD, AND THEN YOU PUMP UP." "AND AS YOUR PENIS GETS HARD " "AND THIS IS THE HAND PUMP." "YOU WANT THE PENIS TO LOOK" "NATURAL AND CREATE AN ERECTION," "WHICH IS SLIGHTLY LARGER THAN YOUR NATURAL ERECTION." "HOLD YOUR HAND OUT, AND WE'LL" "SHOW YOU HOW WE CAN GET A NICE SUCTION HERE." "LET'S TURN THIS WAY HERE." "YEAH, LET GO OF THIS HAND, AND I THINK " " YEP." "WHOA." "SCIENCE." "YEAH." "YEAH,IT'SHOLDINGASUCTION." "NOW, LISTEN." "LISTEN." "I'M GONNA PULL THIS OFF, AND YOU'LL HEAR IT." "[ PUMP POPS ]" "[CHUCKLES]" "IT'SA PRETTY LARGE SNAP HERE." "WOMEN WITH INVERTED NIPPLES OR" "EVEN SOME OF THE BODYBUILDERS" "TYPICALLY " " SOMETIMES EVEN GAY" "MEN " " TYPICALLY LIKE NIPPLE CYLINDERS." "THESEAREFOR" "I WAS" "LOOKING AT THOSE, LIKE, "THAT IS" "FOR THE TINIEST PENIS IN THE WORLD."" "NO,NO,NO ,NO ,NO ." "OH." "YEAH, I DON'T THINK." "THATWOULDBE CLOSETOTHE" "TINIEST PENIS IN THE WORLD." "BABYPENIS." "IDON 'TKNOW." "WE'RE GOING TO TURN ON THE ELECTRIC PUMP..." "OKAY." "...SEEIFWE GETGET  A NICE SUCTION IN HERE." "GONNA PUT IT UP TO THE MAXIMUM." "UM..." "MY KEY'S IN." "ALLRIGHT." "THENWE'LLPUT THESE ON THE NIPPLES." "THERE WE GO!" "OH, MY " "  GAH!" "OH,MYGOD!" "AH!" "WOMENWITHSMALLNIPPLES,A" "LOT OF THE BODYBUILDERS WHO WORK" "THEIR CHEST " " THEY WANT THEIR NIPPLES TO STICK OUT." "IT SHOULD FEEL GOOD." "ARE YOU?" "FEELSOKAY." "YEAH." "SQUEEZEA LITTLE JUICE OUT THERE." "YEAH,WHAT'SWITHTHE JUICE?" "IDON'TKNOW." "[LAUGHS]" "ACTUALLY, THAT'S VERY COMMON." "OKAY,GOOD." "ALLRIGHT,THEREWEGO." "NO PROBLEM." "[EXHALESSHARPLY]" "YOU'LLLIVE." "YEAH." "NO." "IT 'SOKAY." "I'VE NEVER SEEN MY NIPPLES BALLOON LIKE THAT BEFORE." "WELL,YOU'LLBE AMAZEDWHEN" "YOU PUT THE CYLINDER ON YOUR PENIS." "IT'S GONNA BE -- ICANIMAGINE." "B-BOOM!" "ALLRIGHT,LET'S..." "THERE WE GO." "STOCKROOM." "HI." "HOW ARE YOU?" "[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ]" "AREYOULOOKINGFOR TOYS" "OR...?" "DOYOUGUYSHAVE,LIKE , ENHANCEMENT KIND OF STUFF?" "YEAH." "UM, LIKE, FOR YOUR PENIS?" "YES." "WELL,IFYOUDON 'T MIND, LET'S JUST " "YEAH,YEAH,SURE." "THERE'SSOMESTUFFUPHERE ..." "TEACHME." "...THATMIGHTWORK." "[ LAUGHS ]" "WHOA." "SO,OKAY,IGUESSWHAT I" "WOULD SAY, JUST AS FAR AS, LIKE," "MAKING YOUR PENIS LOOK BIGGER" "AND A LITTLE BIT, YOU KNOW, HARDER, LONGER..." "RIGHT." "...COCKRINGSCANBE REALLY AWESOME FOR THAT." "ISTHAT" " THIS IS A COCK RING?" "YEAH,THESEARETHE NEOPRENE" "ONES, WHICH IS KIND OF RAD BECAUSE THEY STRETCH." "SO, IF YOU'VE NEVER USED IT BEFORE " "  MM-HMM." "HAVEYOUEVERUSEDITBEFORE?" "NO,NO,IDIDN'TEVEN  KNOW THAT THEY HAD THOSE." "SO,THESEARETHE PUMPS,AND" "BASICALLY, YOU KNOW, YOUR PENIS GOES IN HERE." "RIGHT." "ANDTHISIS THEAIR TUBEAND" "THE VALVE THAT BASICALLY PUMPS IT." "OKAY." "WHATABOUTLIKEPILLS OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT?" "DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THOSE OR...?" "IMEAN,IKNOW THAT WE HAVE THEM." "I JUST " " I JUST KIND OF BEGAN WORKING HERE." "OKAY." "SO,THISIS MY --  YOU'RE NOT LIKE A "SEXPERT"" "OR ANYTHING?" "NO." "OKAY." "YEAH, THIS LOOKS LIKE A GOOD START." "I'VE GOT MATERIAL." "COOL." "RAD." "IHAVESOMEMONEY HERE SOMEWHERE." "HI." "HI." "ARE YOU WITH THESE GUYS?" "WITH" "NO,HUH-UNH." "I DON'T KNOW WHO THOSE GUYS ARE." "WHAT'STHAT?" "IT'SNOTHING." "THAT'SA FUCKINGCAMERA." "NO,IT'SNOT." "GETTHEFUCKOUT OFMYSTORE ." "OKAY,I 'MGOING." "I'M LEAVING." "I'M LEAVING." "[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ]" "WELL,I CANTELLYOU ALITTLE" "BIT OF WHY I WROTE MY BOOK." "MM-HMM." "I'MA TALLGUY." "RIGHT." "IDON'TKNOWIFYOUNOTICED," "BUT I'M A BLACK GUY, AS WELL." "YEAH,THATWAS SOMETHING I NOTICED." "SO,THEREARECERTAIN" "STEREOTYPES ABOUT BOTH TALL GUYS AND BLACK GUYS." "MM-HMM." "ANDGROWINGUP -- 'CAUSEIAM" "WHO I AM " " I ALWAYS THOUGHT" "THAT I WAS ON THE SMALL SIDE." "MM-HMM." "IMEAN,I'MJUSTBASICALLY" "TRYING TO FIND A TECHNIQUE" "THAT " " SOMETHING THAT'LL WORK." "WELL,I CANTELL YOU ABOUT JELQING." "OKAY." "IT'SBASEDON THEPREMISE" "THAT YOU WILL CREATE MICRO-TEARS" "IN THE INSIDE OF YOUR PENIS..." "MM-HMM." "...SORTOFLIKEYOU DOWITH" "MUSCLES WHEN YOU WORK OUT." "YOU TEAR THE INSIDE OF YOUR" "MUSCLES, AND THEY GROW BACK BIGGER AND STRONGER." "SO, CHOOSE A BALLOON THAT BEST REPRESENTS YOUR SIZE." "MNH." "I'MJUSTKIDDING." "YOUDON'THAVEANY  SMALLER ONES, DO YOU?" "[ CHUCKLES ]" "ANDTHENWHATYOU DOISYOU" "CREATE A TIGHT HOLD ON IT." "MM-HMM." "ANDTHENYOUSLIDEITDOWN" "THE EDGE, FORCING THE BLOOD INTO" "THE TOP OF THE HEAD AND THEN THROUGH." "FOR THE FIRST FIVE DAYS, YOU DO IT 40 TIMES." "AND EVERY FIVE DAYS, YOU" "BASICALLY ADD ANOTHER 40..." "OKAY." "...UPUNTILYOUGET TO200." "OKAY." "AFTERNINEDAYS,I INCREASED BY HALF AN INCH." "WOW." "YEAH,ANDTHEN" "NOTUNTIL" "AFTER THREE MONTHS DID I GET UP TO A FULL 1 3/4"." "MM-HMM." "YOUKNOW,BEFOREIHADA" "PENIS ENLARGEMENT, I WAS INSECURE." "MM-HMM." "IWASHESITANTTOTAKE OFFMY" "PANTS IN FRONT OF A WOMAN." "MM-HMM." "NOWI AMNOT." "SO,MYDAILYROUTINEIS" "PUMPING AND PILLS IN THE MORNING AND JELQING AT NIGHT." "¶OH,YEAHTHE  PENIS IS JUST LIKE A MUSCLE." "IF I WORK IT OUT EVERY DAYS, THE" "CELLS WILL BREAK DOWN AND GROW TO A LARGER SIZE." "LAST OF THIS PACK." "PLENTY MORE TO GO." "AH." "EVERY DAY, I MEASURE MY PENIS" "LENGTH, AND AFTER THE 15th DAY," "MY PENIS IS ALREADY AN 1/8"" "LONGER." "THE INITIAL RESULTS ARE PROMISING, BUT I CAN'T JUST SIT" "AROUND, WAITING FOR THE PAYOFF." "I NEED SOME REAL PROFESSIONAL ADVICE ABOUT PENIS SIZE." "[Rapping] SIZE DON'T MATTER." "I PUT MY SIZE ON A PLATTER." "AND I CAN SHUT THAT UP, PUT A" "DICK IN HER MOUTH, NO CHATTER." "BE QUIET." "I'M COMING TO START A RIOT." "I WANT TO FUCK YOUR GIRL." "YEAH, I GOT TO TRY IT, FREESTYLE, OFF THE TOP." "YOU CAN'T FUCK WITH ME." "ALL DAY, SIZE DON'T MATTER." "COME FUCK WITH ME." "IPROPOSEDTO AGIRL THAT I WAS DATING." "SHE SAID THAT SHE COULDN'T MARRY" "ME BECAUSE SHE SAID MY PENIS WAS, LIKE..." "TOOSMALL?" "ALITTLEBIT." "OUCH!" "RIGHT." "OUCH." "IT'SNOT,LIKE,BROKENSMALL." "IT'S LIKE " "  I MEAN, IS IT BIGGER THAN" "YOUR FINGERS?" "YEAH!" "THAT'SA STEPIN A POSITIVE DIRECTION, RIGHT?" "[ Chuckling ] AS LONG AS IT'S BIGGER THAN YOUR FINGERS." "RIGHT." "WHOO!" "IT'SA ROWDYCOCK." "WHENANYBODYSAYSTHATSIZE" "DOESN'T MATTER, THAT'S GUY WITH" "SMALL DICKS THAT SAY THAT." "ALWAYSFOCUSON THECLIT." "FOCUSONTHECLIT?" "ALWAYSFOCUSON THECLIT." "LIKE,I 'MSOUSEDTOGIVING," "LIKE, A NICE RHYTHM, THAT WHEN" "THERE'S NOT ENOUGH LENGTH TO DO" "THAT, MY RHYTHM IS OFF BIG TIME." "[ LAUGHS ]" "IFYOUNEEDTOCOMPENSATEFOR" "HAVING A SMALLER COCK, THE GIRL" "LAYS DOWN ON THE BED, KIND OF IN" "MISSIONARY, BUT LIKE THIS, TO THE SIDE." "AND THE GUY " " YOU'RE LIKE" "FUCKING MISSIONARY -- IT'S LIKE SIDEWAYS." "THAT'S A GOOD ONE." "WHATADVICEWOULDYOU  GIVE TO A GUY LIKE ME?" "ITHINKYOUSHOULDJUST" "EXPERIMENT AND RESEARCH ALL THE" "DIFFERENT TYPES OF FETISHES THAT ARE AVAILABLE." "I HAVE A FOOT FETISH, AND I LIKE" "GETTING FUCKED BY FEET." "SO, IF YOU REALLY LIKE SOMETHING" "BIG, PUT A FOOT INSIDE OF YOUR" "VAGINA AND SEE WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE." "THECAMERAHASONLYSOMUCH" "SPACE IN WHICH WE CAN SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING." "IF I GOT A GUY WHO'S NOT, YOU" "KNOW, ABOVE AVERAGE, THEN IT'S" "DIFFICULT FOR US TO SEE WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE." "WELL,ITDEPENDS ON THE VAGINA, TOO." "EVEN THOUGH MY VAGINA IS REALLY SMALL, IT'S ALSO VERY" "STRETCHABLE, TO WHERE IT DOESN'T HURT ME." "YOUDON'TWANTTOFEEL LIKE" "A HOT DOG DOWN A HALLWAY." "RIGHT,RIGHT." "BUT,FOREXAMPLE,TO STIMULATE A WOMAN'S G-SPOT, YOU" "ARE AT AN ADVANTAGE IF YOUR PENIS IS SMALL BECAUSE THE" "G-SPOT IS ABOUT, YOU KNOW, LIKE 2 1/2" INSIDE A WOMAN'S VAGINA." "SO, A LONG PENIS WILL GO RIGHT PAST IT." "THEADVANTAGEOF BEING LONG IS YOU CAN PUT IN LESS." "NOW, IF YOU'RE THICK, YOU'RE STUCK, YOU KNOW?" "YOU CAN'T TELL A GIRL, "I'LL MAKE IT THINNER FOR YOU." "DOYOUHAVETO HAVE A GIANT DICK?" "AGOODTONGUE IS MORE IMPORTANT." "WHATCHICK?" "DO YOU HAVE A...?" "RIGHTHERE." "ANEXTRAONEOFTHESE?" "OH,MYGOD." "DOYOU,UH " " DO YOU REMEMBER ME, FROM YOUR " "YEAH,YOUKNOWYOU 'RENOT" "SUPPOSED TO TAKE PICTURES IN" "THERE, AND THEN YOU'RE TALKING" "TO ME ABOUT " " WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING?" "THAT GOT ME IN A LOT OF TROUBLE." "WE'REMAKINGADOCUMENTARY" "ABOUT SIZE, AND I'M SORRY THAT" "YOU GOT IN TROUBLE FOR THAT." "I REALLY AM." "I MEAN, HOW CAN WE MAKE THIS GOOD?" "HOWCANWE MAKETHE CAMERAS" "WORK IN YOUR FAVOR INSTEAD OF " "  PUT THIS ON." "THEDRESS?" "LETEVERYBODYKNOW." "IFITWOULDMAKEYOUHAPPY" "AND BE ABLE TO BURY THE HATCHET" "HERE, I WILL WEAR THAT DRESS." "I SWEAR TO GOD." "I'LL PUT MY HAIR UP LIKE YOURS," "I'LL GRAB THESE, AND I WILL WALK" "AROUND IN THOSE HEELS, WHICH IS" "DANGEROUS 'CAUSE I HAVE VERY WEAK ANKLES." "SERIOUSLY." "YOU KNOW, I'D FEEL BAD IF..." "ALLRIGHT." "IT 'SOKAY." "OKAY." "THANKSFORAPOLOGIZING." "ITTURNSOUTHER  NAME IS KASSIA." "SHE'S GOT A ROCK BAND, AND SHE'S" "ACTUALLY PRETTY COOL, WHEN" "YOU'RE NOT ALMOST GETTING HER FIRED." "BUT AS MUCH AS I'D LIKE THIS" "MOVIE TO BE ABOUT HER, RIGHT NOW" "I NEED TO STAY FOCUSED ON MY PENIS." "¶HEY,HEY,HEY" "¶ HEY, HEY" "THEPORNSTARTSTAUGHTMEI" "HAVE A LOT TO LEARN ABOUT SEX," "AND SAN FRANCISCO IS THE MOST" "SEXUALLY LIBERATED CITY IN AMERICA." "I NEED TO GO TO A PLACE LIKE THAT." "ITHINKTHIS WILL BE GOOD, MAN." "WHATAREYOUTALKINGABOUT?" "THIS IS RIDICULOUS." "I LOOK LIKE A BIG, DUMB IDIOT." "PEOPLE AREN'T GONNA TAKE ME SERIOUSLY." "I'M A GIANT HOT DOG WEARING A" "SIGN THAT SAYS "WIENER TALK?"" "DO YOU THINK THAT SIZE MATTERS TO WOMEN?" "YEAH,YOUGOTTO HAVE SOME GIRTH." "YOUGOTTO HAVESOMEGIRTH." "YOUGOTTO HAVESOMEGIRTH." "IF YOU GO TOO LONG " " THE CERVIX" "IS ONLY SO LONG " " YOU KNOW, YOU'RE DEEP, 8", POW, POW." "THEY SAY, "OW." IT'S OVER WITH." "DOYOULIKEREALLYBIG " "  BIASED OPINION." "WOULDYOUBREAKUPWITH AGUY" "IF HIS PENIS WAS TOO SMALL?" "YEP." "HAVEYOUEVERHAD ASITUATION" "WITH A GIRL WHERE YOU WERE EITHER TOO BIG OR TOO SMALL?" "IWASTOODRUNKONCE " "WELL," "ACTUALLY, A LOT OF TIMES." "AH!" "[CHUCKLES]" "WHOO!" "TELLMEWHENTOSTOP ,WHEN" "YOU THINK I'M AT WHAT'S AVERAGE." "THAT'S" "THAT'SAVERAGE." "THAT'SAVERAGE?" "71 /4"." "DOYOUFEELBETTERNAKED?" "OH,YEAH,EVERYONEDOES." "REALLY?" "YEAH." "WHATIFI'MLIKEALITTLE" "SMALL, SO I FEEL A LITTLE INSECURE?" "NO,NO,NO ,EVERYONE SHOULD BE NAKED." "ISITADEALBREAKER?" "LIKE, IF YOU WERE WITH A GUY WHO " "  NO." "WASTOOSMALL?" "NO,BUTIDOLIKE  A LARGE WIENER." "YOUDO?" "WELL, THEN, LOOKS LIKE WE'RE A PERFECT COUPLE." "ILIKEABIG ..." "IFA   GUY SAID THAT THERE WAS" "SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU, WOULD" "YOU CHANGE THAT TO BE WITH HIM?" "NO." "I WOULD SAY, "FUCK YOU, MOTHERFUCKER!" "I HAVE MY FUCKING BACHELOR'S DEGREE!" "I SUPPORT YOUR FUCKING ASS!" "AND I'M NOT GONNA DO IT ANYMORE!" "I AM NOT GONNA DO IT ANYMORE." "THATSOUNDSLIKEA REALLY SPECIFIC " "GROWTHEFUCKUP!" "AREYOUTALKINGTOSOMEONE IN PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW?" "[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]" "OH, MY GOD." "TOO BIG IS BAD." "NO,NO,NO ,TOOBIG IS BAD, TOO SMALL IS BAD." "AVERAGE?" "AVERAGEISPERFECT." "WHATIFIT 'SA LITTLE BELOW AVERAGE?" "BAD." "HELLO?" "HELLO." "HI." "ROBERTLAWRENCE." "I'MPATRICK." "HELLO,PATRICK." "NICETOMEETYOU ." "THISISA COMMUNITY SEX SPACE." "MM-HMM." "ANDIT'STHEFIRST LIKE IT IN THE NATION." "WOW." "I MEAN, THAT'S AWESOME." "ANDWEPRODUCEVARIOUS EVENTS, AS LONG AS THEY HAVE" "SOME SORT OF INTEREST ABOUT SEX OR GENDER IN THEM." "MM-HMM." "ALSOHARBORSOMETHINGCALLED" "THE MASTURBATE-A-THON GIL TELLS." "WOW." "MASTURBATE-A-THONISAGROUP" "OF PEOPLE GETTING TOGETHER IN A ROOM TO MASTURBATE." "OKAY." "ANDTHEYPAYMONEYTODO SO ," "AND THAT MONEY GOES TO DESERVING NONPROFITS." "INTERMSOF WHATYOU GUYSDO," "PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING GOES HERE, SEXUALLY?" "NO,WEDON'TALLOWPEOPLETO" "PISS ON PEOPLE IN THIS VENUE." "IT'S HARD ON THE FLOORS." "YEAH." "WEDON'TALLOWOTHERBODY" "FLUIDS THAT ARE FROM DOWN THERE," "LET'S SAY, MORE DISCREETLY, TO" "BE PUT ON THE FLOORS OR TO BE" "PUT ON PEOPLE BECAUSE OF CONCERNS ABOUT SMELL AND" "SANITATION." "HOWDOYOUTHINKTHAT SIZE" "KIND OF PLAYS INTO AN INDIVIDUAL'S KIND OF" "PERSONALITY?" "BELIEVEME,THEREARE LOTSOF" "WOMEN WHO WOULD SAY, "OH, GOD." "THANK GOD HE ISN'T BIG."" "RIGHT." "YOUKNOW?" "OR "I PREFER A SMALLER ONE," OR," ""I REALLY LOVE ANAL SEX."" "THE HUMAN ANATOMY WILL ALLOW YOU" "TO PUT THAT ENTIRE THING INSIDE SOMEBODY." "YOURFIRST?" "IT'SA WORKSHOPCALLED" "FISTING, AND YOU CAN LEARN HOW TO FIST PEOPLE." "OR YOU CAN USE MANY FINGERS." "YOU CAN SUPPLEMENT USING YOUR FINGERS." "YOU CAN SLIDE FINGERS INTO" "PEOPLE WHILE YOU'RE ENGAGED IN INTERCOURSE, LIKE SO." "IF I WERE IN YOUR PANTS, SO TO" "SPEAK, I WOULD SIMPLY SAY, "YOU" "KNOW, I'M REALLY GOOD AT ANAL" "SEX, I HAVE A SMALL DICK, AND I LIKE TO LICK THINGS."" "DOYOUTHINKITMATTERS MORE FOR GUYS OR GIRLS?" "ITHINKIT MATTERS MORE FOR GUYS." "YOUDO?" "INTHEGAYWORLD,YEAH ." "INTHEGAYWORLD?" "ABIGDICKISLIKE BIGTITS." "SWEETJESUS." "THAT'SGOOD." "THAT'SGOOD?" "[ DING!" "]" "HONESTLY,HAVINGALOT OF" ""STRAIGHT" GIRLFRIENDS WHO HAVE" "BOYFRIENDS, THEY ALWAYS COMPLAIN" "HOW MEN DO NOT GO DOWN ON THEM ENOUGH." "EATIT." "EAT THAT PUSSY ALL NIGHT LONG." "IFYOUHAVEASMALLPENIS ..." "YES." "...TAKEA KNIFETO YOUR" "THROAT AND END IT ALL RIGHT NOW." "THAT'SGOODADVICE." "ROBERT LAWRENCE SUGGESTED THAT I GO SEE ANNIE SPRINKLE." "SHE'S A FORMER PROSTITUTE AND" "PORN STAR, NOT TO MENTION A" "WORLD-FAMOUS SEXPERT AND AUTHOR." "SHE HAS SOME NEW-AGE SEXUAL" "TECHNIQUES THAT COULD DEFINITELY HELP ME." "HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DOING YOUR RESEARCH?" "WELL,I WASA PROSTITUTE FOR 20 YEARS." "OKAY." "ANDTHENIGOT MYPhDIN" "HUMAN SEXUALITY, SO I'M A SEXOLOGIST." "AND NOW I'M DOING RESEARCH IN ECO-SEXUALITY." "MM-HMM." "YOUKNOW,WE COULDTHINK OF THE EARTH AS MOTHER." "WITH ECO-SEXUALS, WE THINK EARTH IS LOVER." "MM-HMM." "SO,WEMAKELOVE THROUGH THE SENSES." "LAY DOWN ON THE EARTH." "[ CHUCKLES ]" "AND JUST KIND OF LIKE..." "YEAH,THINKOF THE EARTH AS YOUR LOVER." "HOO, HOO, HOO, HOO, HOO." "HAH, HAH " " THE LOW SOUNDS " " AH, AH, AH." "Both:" "AH,AH ." "ANDEEE,EEE!" "AH!" "AH!" "EEE!" "YOU'RE A TANTRICA." "YOU ARE TRULY A SEX GURU." "I CAN SEE IT IN YOUR EYES." "YOU ARE JUST..." "THIS IS SO GREAT YOU'RE ON THIS" "PATH 'CAUSE YOU'RE A SEXUALLY GIFTED PERSON." "I CAN SEE THAT." "YOU ARE." "THANKYOU." "YOUARE." "I'MTAKINGANOTHERONE  OF THESE " " EXTENZE." "ISTHATNEXIUM?" "THIS?" "YEAH." "IT'SEXTENZE." "[LAUGHS]" "THAT'SIT." "WHYYOULAUGHING?" "THATISTHE APPROPRIATE REACTION." "[LAUGHS]" "IT'SOKAY." "ISITREALLY?" "YEAH,ITIS ." "[LAUGHS]" "WELL,THAT'SWHATTHE  DOCUMENTARY IS ABOUT." "WHATWOULDYOUSAY THE  AVERAGE SIZE IS FOR A MALE?" "DURING?" "LIKE THAT?" "ISH?" "THAT'SDEPRESSING." "[LAUGHS]" "ALLRIGHT." "UH-OH." "THANKYOU." "IKNOW." "IKNOW." "[LAUGHS]" "[ PUMP SQUEAKING ]" "IT'SINTHERE." "IMEAN,PROMISING, POTENTIALLY?" "HEY,DUDE,IDON 'TKNOW." "PUT YOUR DICK IN A VACUUM TUBE" "AND TELL ME HOW PROMISING IT FEELS LIKE THINGS ARE." "IT LOOKS BIGGER RIGHT NOW, BUT WHEN I TAKE IT OFF, IT" "CONSTANTLY JUST GOES BACK TO NORMAL." "[ SNIFFS ]" "SURE, YES, IT'S PROMISING." "THIS WHOLE SITUATION IS FULL OF PROMISE." "PUMPING, PILLS, AND JELQING?" "IT SEEMS LIKE THE MORE I TRY, THE LESS RESULTS I SEE." "PLUS, MY PENIS IS EXHAUSTED RIGHT NOW." "[ ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ]" "HI." "I WAS TRYING TO GET A LITTLE" "INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR PRODUCT." "EXTENZE." "I'VE BEEN TAKING IT FOR ABOUT 30" "DAYS AND NOT REALLY SEEING ANY" "RESULTS OR CHANGES OR ANYTHING." "IT DOESN'T MAKE IT GROW BY ANY MEANS?" "WHY DID THEY " " WHY WAS I LED TO" "BELIEVE THAT IT WOULD MAKE IT GROW, THEN?" "IT ACTUALLY SAYS, "THE MALE" "ENHANCEMENT PILL THAT CAN MAKE" "YOU LARGER," AND IT STAYS "LARGER" IN BIG, RED LETTERS." "BUT THEY CHOOSE NOT TO MARKET IT LIKE THAT." "THAT'S SUCH GARBAGE." "HEREARETWOVARIANTS." "THEY'RE NOT NECESSARILY SUPER" "LONG BECAUSE THERE REALLY IS A" "VARIANT OF WOMAN COMING IN TO" "BUY A DILDO, GOING, "I DON'T WANT IT TO BE TOO LONG." "THAT BOUNCES INTO MY CERVIX " " NOT SO FUN."" "SOME WOMEN LIKE THAT SENSATION." "MANY WOMEN DON'T LIKE IT." "THIS, FOR EXAMPLE " " A LITTLE" "LONGER THAN THOSE " " HAS A" "REALLY PRONOUNCED CORONAL RIDGE." "MM-HMM." "IFTHERE'SAPRETTY PRONOUNCED RIDGE THERE, THIS ALL" "BY ITSELF IS SORT OF A PLEASURE" "MAKER FOR SOME WOMEN, PARTICULARLY FOR G-SPOT" "STIMULATION." "YOUSAIDTHATALOT OF MEN COME IN HERE NOW." "IS THIS KIND OF A COMMON PROBLEM?" "WEUSEDTO CARRYASUCTION" "PUMP, AND WE HAD TO ALWAYS WARN" "GUYS AWAY FROM USING IT TOO MUCH" "BECAUSE YOU CAN DO PERMANENT" "DAMAGE TO YOUR PENIS USING A PUMP." "NOT SO GOOD, REALLY CAN CAUSE" "ACTUAL SCARRING INSIDE THE PENIS." "SOME GUYS FIND THAT THEY, OVER" "TIME, PUMP A LOT AND GET SOFTER" "AND SOFTER AND SOFTER ERECTIONS, WHICH IS PROBABLY" "COUNTERINTUITIVE." "FOR STARTERS, THE PENIS IS NOT A MUSCLE." "IT'SNOT?" "NO." "IT'SGOTSOMEMUSCLES." "BUT IT ISN'T A MUSCLE." "I MEAN, WE CALL IT THE LOVE" "MUSCLE, MUSCLE OF LOVE, MUSCLE OF WHATEVER." "NO, IT'S NOT A MUSCLE." "RIGHT." "THERE WAS ANOTHER METHOD THAT WE" "CAME ACROSS FOR ENLARGEMENT THAT'S CALLED JELQING." "WHATCONCERNSME ABOUTTHAT" "KIND OF A PROCEDURE IS THAT IF" "YOU PULL THE LIGAMENTS TOO MUCH," "YOU'D RUN SOME RISK OF A REBOUND" "EFFECT, LIKE A "RUBBER BAND COMING BACK" EFFECT." "SO,YOU'DSTRETCHITOUT, AND" "YOU COULD POSSIBLY SHRINK YOUR PENIS." "THATWOULDBE MY CONCERN." "THATWOULDBE AWFUL." "APPARENTLY, I'M NOT THE FIRST TO" "FIND OUT THAT ENLARGEMENT PRODUCTS CAN BE MISLEADING." "IN 2010, EXTENZE HAD TO PAY OUT" "$6 MILLION IN A LAWSUIT FOR FALSE ADVERTISING." "I'VE TRIED THE BEST METHODS AVAILABLE IN THE U.S. " "PUMPING, PILLS, AND JELQING." "BUT THEY WERE ALL A TOTAL BUST." "BUT IT'S A BIG WORLD OUT THERE." "IT'S TIME I TAKE THIS JOURNEY INTERNATIONAL." "PASSPORT." "THAT'S HOT STUFF." "MALARONE " " IT'S MALARIA PILLS." "ONE PIECE GOT TO HAVE -- HAWAIIAN SHIRT " " INDICATES" "TO POSSIBLE THIEVES THAT I'M" "TRAVELING AND PROBABLY GOT MONEY ON ME." "MAN'S OBSESSION WITH HIS SCHLONG" "HAS BEEN PRETTY WELL DOCUMENTED" "THROUGHOUT HUMAN HISTORY." "THE ANCIENT EGYPTIANS HAD A GOD," "OSIRIS, WITH A GOLDEN WIENER." "THE ANCIENT GREEKS HAD PRIAPUS," "A FERTILITY GOD WHOSE PENIS WAS BIGGER THAN HIM." "THE 2,000-YEAR-OLD "KAMA SUTRA"" "ILLUSTRATED HOW TO GET THE MOST" "PLEASURE OUT OF YOUR PENIS." "AND IN KOMAKI, JAPAN, THEY'VE" "HAD PENIS FESTIVALS FOR THE LAST 1,500 YEARS." "IN 16th-CENTURY EUROPE, IT WAS" "CONSIDERED COOL TO DANGLE YOUR DONG." "BUT IT WAS IN 1948 WHEN THE" "FATHER OF AMERICAN SEXOLOGY," "ALFRED KINSEY, PUBLISHED THE" "FIRST COMPREHENSIVE STUDY OF PENIS SIZE." "SINCE THEN, KINSEY'S PENIS-SIZE" "STATISTICS HAVE SET THE STANDARD." "BUT THE KINSEY REPORT WAS" "SELF-REPORTING, WHICH MEANS THAT" "MEN MEASURED THEIR OWN PENISES AND SENT IN THEIR SIZE." "DO I THINK THAT THEY WERE BEING HONEST?" "PROBABLY NOT." "SO, WE'RE HEADING TO MALAYSIA TO" "MEET A TRUE SIZE EXPERT, AN" "INTERNATIONAL CONDOM MAKER NAMED KLAUS RICHTER." "KLAUS." "OH,HI." "YOU'REPATRICK?" "YES." "WELCOMETOOURFACTORY." "YEAH,THANKYOU." "THANKS FOR HAVING ME." "HAVEA HAT." "AHAT,AGIFT" "RICHTER RUBBER TECHNOLOGIES." "HOW MANY CONDOMS DO YOU MAKE A DAY?" "ADAY,WE MAKEAMILLION." "AMILLION?" "ITMEASURESTHEVOLUMEGOING" "IN AND THE PRESSURE INSIDE." "MM-HMM." "ANDSEE,THISISTHE STANDARD FORMAT, 55 BY 55." "SO,WHENIBUY ACONDOMAT" "THE STORE, THIS IS THE SIZE THAT I GET." "DEPENDS." "IF YOU BUY IT IN THAILAND, FOR EXAMPLE " "  UH-HUH." "WESTERNERSHAVEBIGPROBLEMS" "'CAUSE THE SIZES ARE " " IT'S VERY CRAZY." "HOWBIGIS BELOWAVERAGE?" "THEYSAYASIANCONDOMSNEED" "TO BE 49 MILLIMETER, FLAT WIDTH." "AND ACTUALLY, IN GERMANY, WE" "ALWAYS HAD A STANDARD OF 51 OR 52." "AFRICAN SIZE, A LITTLE BIT BIGGER, IS 53, 54." "ANDWHATABOUTTHE LENGTH?" "OKAY,THELENGTHOFA CONDOM" "DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE PENIS SIZE." "BECAUSE THE CONDOM IS DEFINITELY LONGER THAN THE USE." "RIGHT,RIGHT." "RIGHT?" "WE ARE THE ONLY COMPANY DEFINITELY WHO MAKE ALL SIZES." "SO, WE HAVE, ALTOGETHER AT THE" "MOMENT, 55 DIFFERENT SIZES..." "55DIFFERENTSIZES." "...MEASUREDOVER LENGTH AND WIDTH." "MM-HMM." "KLAUS OFFERS TO HELP ME MEASURE" "MY CONDOM SIZE SO THAT I CAN DETERMINE HOW I MEASURE UP" "AGAINST THE REST OF THE WORLD." "THELENGTH" " WE HAVETO SEE, OKAY, HOW LONG, RIGHT?" "SAY,THERE?" "SO, THEN WE PLACE THIS AGAINST THE SKIN." "61, WHICH IS THE SHORTEST." "YEAH." "SO,NOTSOSHORT." "NO,IT'SNOTTOO SHORT." "THE GIRTH?" "YEAH,YEAH,YOU BECOME AN "M."" ""M" IS HERE, 49." "49." "ASIANSIZE!" "KOREANSHAVE,ON AVERAGE,THE" "SMALLEST PENISES ON THE PLANET." "I WANT TO SEE HOW THEY DEAL WITH THEIR SMALL SIZE." "BUT I DISCOVERED SOMETHING PRETTY UNEXPECTED." "ALTHOUGH KOREANS HAVE THE SMALLEST DICKS IN THE WORLD," "THEY HAVE THE LARGEST DICK STATUES." "ON AVERAGE, KOREAN MEN ARE THE SMALLEST." "IS THAT SOMETHING THAT KOREAN WOMEN TALK ABOUT?" "LOOK AT THIS GUY." "YEAH!" "GET A WIDE SHOT, SOAK IT ALL IN." "HELLO!" "HELLO!" "HI." "THERE IS SO MUCH DICK IN THIS" "COUNTRY, THEY'VE GOT TO HAVE SOME ANSWERS." "OTHERWISE, WHAT'S WITH ALL THE DICK?" "I MAY BE SMALL, BUT COMPARED TO" "A KOREAN, MAYBE I'M HUGE." "I'M GOING TO SEEK SOME ADVICE" "FROM A CLASS OF KOREAN UNIVERSITY STUDENTS." "I PROPOSED MARRIAGE, AND SHE" "SAID NO BECAUSE SHE SAID THAT MY PENIS IS TOO SMALL." "[ LAUGHTER ]" "BECAUSE I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT MY SIZE, REALLY." "I MEAN, I THOUGHT ABOUT IT, AND" "I HAD ALWAYS BEEN LIKE, "MAN, IT" "WOULD BE SUPER COOL IF I HAD, LIKE, A GIANT ONE." "I'M ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT MY" "PENIS NOW, AND I'M THINKING THAT EVERY TIME I'VE HAD A" "RELATIONSHIP WITH A WOMAN AND IT" "HASN'T WORKED, IT'S BECAUSE" "SHE'S THINKING, "OH, HIS PENIS IS A LITTLE TOO SMALL."" "[ LAUGHTER ]" "[ LAUGHTER ]" "GET MY CONFIDENCE BACK?" "YEAH?" "IS THAT A GOOD PLACE TO BOOST YOUR EGO?" "OKAY." "THAT'S GOOD ADVICE." "HEY!" "HEY!" "NO!" "NO!" "[SHOUTINGIN KOREAN]" "NO,NO,NO !" "NO!" "NO!" "NO!" "NO!" "STOP!" "[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]" "HEY!" "[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]" "OKAY, SO, NOBODY LIKES HAVING" "THEIR PENIS SECRETLY FILMED." "AND I MAY HAVE BROKEN SEVERAL LAWS." "SO, FOR NOW, I'M GONNA GET OUT" "OF KOREA AND CHECK OUT TAIPEI, TAIWAN." "TAIPEI IS A CITY RICH WITH HISTORY AND TRADITION." "AMONG THESE TRADITIONS ARE" "SEVERAL ANCIENT METHODS FOR MALE ENHANCEMENT." "SO, I'M GOING TO SNAKE ALLEY," "WHERE THEY TRADE IN TRADITIONAL CHINESE MEDICINE." "TRY A LITTLE BIT OF SNAKE." "THERE'S BONES IN IT." "OW!" "MMM." "OH, TURTLES!" "WHOA." "LOOK AT THOSE DEAD TURTLE HEADS." "GOD!" "[ LAUGHTER ]" "THAT THING'S LIKE 13" LONG." "HERE WE GO." "THAT'S NOT BAD." "THAT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD, YEAH." "OKAY." "DOWN THE HATCH." "IT'S LIKE A CHERRY TOMATO FULL OF BALLS." "UGH." "I HAVE NO IDEA, DUDE." "[ CHUCKLES ]" "UGH." "AFTER EATING ROOSTER TESTICLES" "IN SNAKE ALLEY, I NEED A DRINK." "I FOUND A BAR WHERE A LOCAL" "TAIWANESE GIRL WAS WILLING TO TALK TO ME ABOUT SIZE." "AH." "SIZE?" "UH-HUH." "OKAY." "THESIZE." "AH,WELL,IHAVETOSAY, I'M A BIT SHY SOMETIMES." "YEAH." "YEAH." "DO, LIKE, A LOT OF AMERICAN GUYS, LIKE, HIT ON YOU?" "NO?" "I FIND THAT INCREDIBLY HARD TO BELIEVE." "NO,NO,NO ." "DOYOUTHINKTHEY'RE, LIKE, ATTRACTIVE?" "YOU DON'T?" "YOU DON'T THINK AMERICAN MEN ARE ATTRACTIVE?" "DAMN IT!" "WHO DO YOU FIND THE MOST ATTRACTIVE?" "LIKE, WHAT KIND OF GUYS?" "LIKE, ASIAN GUYS OR...?" "IPREFERBLACKGUYS." "YOUPREFERBLACKGUYS?" "YEAH." "DOYOULIKETHE BIGGERPENIS?" "IS THAT...?" "NO." "FIRST OF ALL, YOU HAVE TO LIKE THIS PERSON." "RIGHT,RIGHT." "THENYOUWILLSEE HIS PENIS," "AND IT'S SOMETHING LIKE A GIFT." "IT'SLIKEAGIFT." "YEAH,YOUOPENYOURGIFTS," "AND SOMETIMES IT'S "OOH!" AND SOMETIMES "AH."" "[LAUGHS]" "BUTYOUSTILLHAVETO PRETEND THAT IT'S, "WOW!"" "RIGHT,RIGHT." "YEAH,YEAH,YEAH,YEAH." "DIDYOUKNOWTHATA500-POUND" "SILVERBACK GORILLA HAS A 3-CENTIMETER PENIS, WHEREAS" "HUMANS HAVE A 13-CENTIMETER PENIS?" "[ SLOOP!" "]" "THIS IS DUE TO A PHENOMENON SCIENTISTS CALL SEXUAL" "SELECTION." "HUMAN FEMALES TEND TO PREFER MATES WITH BIGGER PENISES." "SO, OVER TIME, THE HUMAN PENIS" "HAS EVOLVED TO A SIZE WAY BIGGER THAN NECESSARY." "[ DING!" "]" "AND THAT'S MY PROBLEM " " NO" "WOMAN WILL EVER CHOOSE ME OVER A" "GUY WITH A BIGGER DICK." "IT'S HUMAN NATURE." "SO, TODAY I'M MORE DETERMINED" "THAN EVER TO FIND A CURE FOR MY PROBLEM." "I THINK THIS IS IT." "THIS IS MASTER TU'S STUDIO." "HI." "MASTER TU?" "YEAH." "YEAH." "I 'MPATRICK." "HI." "HOWAREYOU ?" "THANKYOU." "THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MEETING WITH ME." "WHAT EXACTLY IS IT THAT YOU GUYS PRACTICE HERE?" "AND WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS THAT" "SOMEONE CAN GET FROM DOING THESE THINGS?" "MASTER TU LEARNED THE ANCIENT" "METHOD OF PENIS WEIGHT HANGING" "THROUGH HIS FATHER'S TEACHINGS." "BY LIFTING WEIGHTS WITH YOUR" "PENIS, YOU INCREASE YOUR BODY'S" "NATURAL ENERGY AND PENIS LENGTH." "SO, IT ACTUALLY DOES INCREASE YOUR SIZE?" "SO, IF I WERE TO TRY IT FOR MY" "FIRST TIME, IT WOULD BE JUST VERY SMALL AMOUNT." "LIKE THIS." "THIS SIZE?" "THAT'S " " THIS IS PRETTY " "MASTER TU IS GONNA START ME OUT" "WITH A 5-POUND LIFT, BUT FIRST I" "NEED TO WARM UP MY CHI." "SO, MASTER TU AND HIS ASSISTANT" "TAKE ME THROUGH THE PROCESS." "RUB." "RUB." "RUB." "RUB?" "RUB?" "NOW I SLAP IT?" "[SPEAKINGCHINESE]" "[SPEAKINGCHINESE]" "HOWI SHOULDTIEIT?" "OKAY." "OKAY!" "[ Chuckling ] YEAH." "OH, MAN." "OH, MAN." "[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]" "[ BREATHING DEEPLY ]" "STAND." "STAND." "ALLTHEWAYUP?" "[SPEAKINGCHINESE]" "SWING?" "ROCKA LITTLEBIT." "[EXHALESSHARPLY]" "I'M CRAZY." "I AM CRAZY." "HOW'SITFEEL?" "FEELSALLRIGHT." "[ BREATHING DEEPLY ]" "THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING." "THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING." "[ BREATHING DEEPLY ]" "[SPEAKINGCHINESE]" "YEAH." "YEAH." "[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]" "AH." "[SPEAKINGCHINESE]" "HESAID,OKAY,BESIDES,THE" "PAIN DOWN THERE, DO YOU FEEL" "LIKE YOUR WHOLE BODY'S BEEN RE-INVIGORATED?" "IFEELLIKEVERYLIGHT,LIKE" "VERY, UH " " ALSO VERY SWEATY." "[SPEAKINGCHINESE]" "HESAIDTHAT'STHE  HORMONES KICKING IN." "THAT'STHE HORMONES KICKING IN?" "I CAN FEEL IT WORKING." "THEY'REABOUTREADY." "[ CONVERSING IN CHINESE ]" "HOWMUCHIS THIS?" "THAT'S20KILOGRAMS." "SO, IT'S CLOSE TO 350." "CLOSETO350POUNDS." "[ CONVERSING IN CHINESE ]" "[ APPLAUSE ]" "THAT'S " " THAT IS AMAZING." "THAT --  [ SPEAKING CHINESE ]" "THATISAMAZING." "WOW." "[SPEAKINGCHINESE]" "THISGUYHASGOT TOBEHUGE." "WHILE WEIGHT-HANGING SEEMED PROMISING, THAT GUY'S JUNK" "DIDN'T LOOK TOO GREAT, AND MINE" "KIND OF FEELS LIKE A PAIR OF OLD SHOELACES." "WHOA!" "HEY, FUCKER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" "DON'T..." "BUT THERE'S STILL HOPE." "WE'RE ON OUR WAY TO THE LAST COUNTRY ON OUR JOURNEY." "PAPUA NEW GUINEA IS ONE OF THE" "MOST REMOTE COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD." "SEVERAL OF THE TRIBES HERE HAVE" "TRADITIONAL VIRILITY RITUALS" "HANDED DOWN FROM PRE-COLONIAL TIMES." "OUR GUIDE IS PROFESSOR GIL HERDT, THE" "FOREMOST ANTHROPOLOGIST WORKING IN THE COUNTRY." "THERE'SSOMANYDIFFERENT" "WAYS IN WHICH THE PENIS REPRESENTS POWER..." "YEAH." "...REPRESENTS DOMINATION, REPRESENTS..." "MASCULINITY." "...MASCULINITY." "SAMBIAWILLTELLTHE STORY" "THIS IS THE TRIBE THAT I WORK WITH IN NEW GUINEA." "MM-HMM." "ANDI KNEWALOT OFWARRIORS" "WHO REALLY HAD KILLED, WHO REALLY HAD LED BATTLES." "THEY WOULD SAY THAT, WHEN CHARGING INTO BATTLE, THE" "WARRIOR WHO WAS USUALLY THE WAR" "LEADER, WOULD HAVE AN ERECTION..." "HMM." "...WHICHSYMBOLIZEDHIS" "ABILITY TO WIN OVER ON HIS ENEMY." "AND IF YOU REALLY WANTED TO GET" "THE LIFE ESSENCE OF A GUY..." "MM-HMM." "...AFTERYOUATTACKEDHIM AND" "HE WAS DYING AND HE WAS HAVING" "SPASMS IN HIS BODY AND HE HAD AN" "ERECTION, YOU TRIED TO GET THE SEMEN." "AND IF YOU COULD TAKE THAT INTO" "YOUR BODY, YOU GOT HIS POWER." "AND THE NOTION WAS NOT FOCUSED" "ON THE SIZE OF YOUR PENIS." "AS FAR AS I KNOW, THAT DIDN'T REALLY HAPPEN." "BUT IT APPEARS TO BE COMING UP NOW." "IMEAN,IF YOUGO" "INA" "SOCIETY WHERE YOU, YOU KNOW, HUNDREDS AND MAYBE EVEN" "THOUSANDS OF YEARS THINKING THAT" "IT'S NOT IMPORTANT, HOW DO THESE" "IDEAS, THESE SEEDS, GET PLANTED" "IN THE MEN'S HEAD AND THEN IN THE WOMEN'S HEAD, TOO?" "HANDHELDCELLPHONESAND" "SEEING PORN STORES WITH BIG DICKS." "MM-HMM." "THESEGUYSSORTOFTALKING" "ABOUT THESE PENIS IMPLANTS," "PUTTING THINGS IN THEIR PENIS." "AT FIRST, I DIDN'T QUITE BELIEVE" "IT, AND THEN, THE MORE THEY" "TALKED ABOUT IT, I THOUGHT " "AND THEN I SAW SOME PHOTOS." "MM-HMM." "ANDSOISAIDTOTHEM,  "WHERE'S THIS COMING FROM?"" "AND THIS IS WHAT I DIDN'T BELIEVE UNTIL THEY TOLD ME." "THEY SAID, "IT'S BECAUSE OUR" "GIRLFRIENDS SAY WE'RE TOO SMALL." "AND I SAID, "YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING."" "SO,NOWWE 'REDRIVINGOUT  TO A REMOTE BUSH REGION." "WE WILL MEET A TRIBE WHOSE" "TRADITIONS DATE BACK MANY CENTURIES." "HELLO." "HOW ARE YOU?" "HI!" "YOU'RE FRIENDLY." "HEY, BUDDY." "THE VILLAGE SPANS ACROSS SEVERAL HUNDRED ACRES." "UPON ENTERING, WE ARE MET WITH" "THE TRADITIONAL TRIBAL GREETING." "THIS IS THEIR EQUIVALENT TO A HANDSHAKE." "[CHANTINGIN  NATIVE LANGUAGE ]" "PAT,CANYOUDOTHAT ?" "CANI DOTHAT?" "CAN I MAKE FIRE?" "READY?" "WATCH THIS." "AH!" "AH!" "CHEATING." "EH." "IT'S NOT NEARLY AS IMPRESSIVE." "THE TRIBE HAS BEEN VERY WELCOMING." "GIL TELLS THEM OF MY PROBLEM," "AND THEY INTRODUCE ME TO THEIR WITCHDOCTOR." "HE PREPARES A RITUAL AND PLEADS WITH THE GODS." "[SPEAKINGNATIVELANGUAGE]" "[ WHOOPING ]" "ITSEEMSTHATTHISRITUALIS" "MORE SPIRITUAL THAN PHYSICAL." "APPARENTLY, MOST TRIBES CARE FAR" "MORE ABOUT FERTILITY THAN SIZE." "BUT THERE'S STILL A TRIBE THAT" "MAY HAVE THE SOLUTION I'M LOOKING FOR." "WE MEET UP WITH THE SAMBIA PEOPLE." "THESE ARE GIL'S FRIENDS FOR" "SEVERAL DECADES, AND THEY CLAIM" "THAT ENLARGEMENTS ARE COMMON IN THIS REGION." "WHENHEWASABOY, HE FELL DOWN FROM A TREE." "HE WAS ABOUT 5." "5YEARSOLD." "ANDHEFELLONHISSCROTUM" "AND SPLICED HIS SCROTUM OPEN." "AND THEY'RE ALL LAUGHING AND LAUGHING AND LAUGHING." "AND I WAS THE MEDICAL ASSISTANT" "TO THIS AREA AT THE TIME." "SO, I SLUNG HIM UP OVER MY" "SHOULDER, AND I CARRIED HIM DOWN THE MOUNTAIN." "AND I HAD BLOOD ALL OVER MY BODY, FROM YOUR BALLS." "WOW." "[ LAUGHTER ]" "RIGHT." "THAT'SMY STORY." "THE SAMBIA PEOPLE WELCOME ME TO THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD." "ANDTHENDO THIS." "BAM!" "[ LAUGHTER ]" "THEN WE HEAD TO THE MARKET TO" "SEEK OUT ENLARGEMENT PROSPECTS." "[ CONVERSING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE ]" "YOUEXPLAINTO HIM." "AM PATRICK." "YOU CAN TALK SAMBIA ON PATRICK." "THISISTHENUMBERYOUWANT." "OH,FORTHE" "YES." "REALLY?" "EXTEND." "FORTHEBIG" "YEAH ,THE- " "AND WHEN YOU DO THE PROCEDURE," "THE NEEDLE " " HOW MANY TIMES DO" "YOU PUT IT " " DO YOU PUT IT IN" "ONCE, PUT ALL THE OIL IN, OR DO" "YOU HAVE TO GO INTO DIFFERENT AREAS OF THE PENIS?" "I DON'T LIKE NEEDLES, SO..." "10SHOTS." "10SHOTS." "THAT'S50MILS." "50MILS,10 SHOTS." "ONE5 MILLILITER,10 ,15 ,20 , 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50, TWO IN THE MIDDLE." "FROMTHEMENTHATYOU'VE" "DONE, DOES IT APPEAR TO BE A" "PAINFUL PROCEDURE, OR IS IT FAIRLY PAINLESS?" "AND IT'S SAFE." "IT'S A SAFE PROCEDURE." "AND IT'S NOT SORE OR...?" "AND IT DOESN'T, LIKE, LEAK OR ANYTHING?" "NO." "NO." "OKAY." "WERE YOU NERVOUS WHEN YOU...?" "MM-HMM." "JUST A LITTLE BIT OF BLOOD?" "CAN YOU PUT IT IN THE SYRINGE" "JUST SO I CAN SEE HOW MUCH?" "AND THAT'S " " SO, 10 OF THOSE?" "YOUDON'THAVETODOIT IF" "YOU DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE, MAN." "IT'S...[ SIGHS]" "OKAY." "SO, HOW " " SHOULD I STAND " " STAND UP?" "I'M SO SCARED RIGHT NOW." "OHH." "OKAY, UH..." "OKAY." "OKAY." "OKAY." "YEAH." "YEAH." "YEAH." "AH, OKAY." "HANG ON." "[ SIGHS ]" "MNH." "I FEEL A LITTLE..." "I FEEL A LITTLE..." "GOGETSOMEFRESHAIR." "OKAY." "HANGON ." "JUST ONE " " YEAH, YEAH, YEAH." "OKAY." "YEAH." "OKAY." "[ CLEARS THROAT ]" "[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]" "DEFINITELY..." "DUDE, WOULD YOU DO THIS?" "SHOULD I DO THIS?" "IS THIS FUCKING CRAZY?" "I'M AFRAID TO EAT THE FUCKING FOOD HERE." "I'M NOT GONNA LET THAT GUY STICK A NEEDLE IN MY PENIS." "I'M NOT DOING IT." "JUST GIVE HIM THE MONEY AND TELL" "HIM THAT I CAN'T DO IT." "DON'TWORRY." "OKAY." "OKAY." "I FEEL LIKE..." "WHEN I WAS STARING DOWN AT THAT" "NEEDLE, I REALIZED JUST HOW" "DESPERATELY I WANT THIS ENLARGEMENT." "THIS IS SOMETHING I HAVE TO DO." "BUT I HAVE TO DO IT A SMART WAY, A SAFE WAY." "SO, I'M HEADED BACK TO KOREA." "APPARENTLY, IT'S THE" "PLASTIC-SURGERY CAPITAL OF THE WORLD." "[ ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ]" "SO, NOT ONLY DOES KOREA HAVE THE" "SMALLEST PENISES IN THE WORLD." "THEY ALSO HAVE THE MOST PLASTIC SURGERY THAT GOES DOWN." "SO, WE'VE COME TO THIS AREA." "THIS PARTICULAR DISTRICT HAS THE" "MOST PLASTIC-SURGERY CENTERS IN ALL THE WORLD." "¶I GOTSECONDTHOUGHTSABOUT" "THINKING TWICE TONIGHT ¶" "THAT'SWHATWE 'REHOPING." "HOLY GRAIL." "HI." "I'M HERE TO SEE DR. LEE." "YEAH." "DON'TWORRY." "OKAY." "[LAUGHS]" "RIGHT,RIGHT." "MM-HMM." "YEAH." "MM-HMM." "MM-HMM." "[SPEAKINGKOREAN]" "DR.LEEEXPLAINSTHATHIS" "SURGERY IS DONE IN TWO WAYS." "ONE IS BY HARVESTING A SECTION" "OF SKIN AND FAT FROM A DEAD BODY" "AND ELONGATING THE PENIS WITH THE EXTRA FLESH." "THE OTHER AND MORE POPULAR" "PROCEDURE INVOLVES HARVESTING" "FAT FROM THE PATIENT'S ABDOMEN" "AND INSERTING IT UNDER THE SKIN" "OF THE PENIS SHAFT, THUS ADDING" "SEVERAL CENTIMETERS OF GIRTH AND" "A VERY NATURAL APPEARANCE." "DR. LEE INVENTED THIS PROCEDURE," "AND IT'S BECOME THE INDUSTRY STANDARD." "IT'S CONSIDERED TO BE VERY SAFE AND EFFECTIVE." "DR. LEE INVITES ME TO MEET ONE OF HIS CURRENT PATIENTS." "[LAUGHS]" "HI." "HI." "GOODMORNING." "GOODMORNING." "GOODMORNING." "[SPEAKINGKOREAN]" "[CHUCKLES]" "MM-HMM, MM-HMM." "OKAY." "OH, YEAH." "YEAH, YEAH, YEAH." "WOW." "[LAUGHS]" "YEAH,YEAH." "THANKYOU ." "THANK YOU." "I MEAN, IT WAS PRETTY BIG." "I MEAN, IF HE WAS REALLY SMALL" "ENOUGH TO COME IN AND CONSIDER" "HAVING THIS PROCEDURE DONE " "I MEAN, WHAT I SAW WAS, YOU" "KNOW, PRETTY GIRTHY-LOOKING." "[ PHONE LINE RINGING ]" "YES?" "WHATUP,MAN?" "IT'SPAT." "UH, NOTHING, DUDE." "I WENT AND MET THIS DOCTOR, THE," "LIKE, PENIS-ENLARGEMENT GUY." "HE'S LIKE THE MOST FAMOUS PENIS" "DOCTOR IN THE WORLD, AND HE LIKE" "DEVELOPED THIS PROCEDURE." "HE DID IT." "IT'S HIS " " LIKE, FROM HIS BRAIN, HE MADE IT UP." "[CHANTINGIN  NATIVE LANGUAGE ]" "IFEELLIKEIFMAYBEICAN" "SEE HOW THE PROCEDURE IS DONE," "IT'LL KIND OF SETTLE MY FEARS A" "LITTLE BIT, YOU KNOW, IF I KNOW" "WHAT, YOU KNOW, I'M ACTUALLY GETTING MY DICK INTO." "BUT, I MEAN, HE SAID IT'S" "LIKE " " YOU KNOW, THERE'S LITERALLY NO PAIN." "YOU RECOVER IN LIKE A DAY." "SO, I MEAN, IT CAN'T BE THAT BAD." "HAVEYOUSEE BEFORE " " OPERATION?" "MNH-MNH." "NO?" "MNH-MNH." "FIRSTTIME?" "MM-HMM." "FORTHEEXPERIENCE?" "MNH-MNH." "[ VOMITS ]" "[COUGHING]" "DUDE,HERE." "HERE." "[SNIFFS]" "[ CHUCKLES ]" "NO." "NO WAY." "YOU EVER HAVE ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS WHERE YOU JUST STEP" "OUTSIDE YOURSELF AND KIND OF" "TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT YOU'RE DOING" "AND REALIZE THAT YOU'RE JUST NOT" "BEING YOURSELF ANYMORE?" "AND HONESTLY, I DON'T REALLY" "KNOW WHAT I'M DOING HERE ANYMORE." "I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT'S ABOUT." "EVERYTHING WE DO ISN'T WORKING." "I'M MAKING A COMPLETE FOOL OF" "MYSELF IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE WORLD." "WHO'S GONNA WANT TO BE WITH ME AFTER SEEING THIS FILM?" "I LOOK LIKE AN INSECURE," "NARCISSISTIC FREAK WITH A TINY DICK." "IT'SYOURMOVIE!" "YEAH,IFYOUDIDN'TSEETHIS" "COMING FROM A MILE AWAY, THEN YOU'RE OBLIVIOUS, MAN." "HEY,PATTY." "HOW ARE YOU DOING?" "UM..." "I 'VEBEEN HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS" "ABOUT THE FILM." "IT'S JUST A LITTLE INTENSE." "SO, I TOLD EVERYBODY THAT I'M DONE." "YOU'REASKINGAQUESTIONOF" "MALE IDENTITY THAT IS BEYOND JUST YOU." "IT'S A BIG QUESTION." "SO I UNDERSTAND IT WOULD BE" "CONFUSING AT A CERTAIN POINT." "BUT I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY" "YOU WOULD GET THIS FAR AND THEN QUIT." "IDON'TKNOWWHATI'MDOING ." "IT'S HARDER THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE, I GUESS." "IT'SALLHARD, PATTY, YOU KNOW?" "I DON'T WANT TO BRING UP THE OLD" "HISTORY, BUT YOU WALKED OUT OF TWO S.A.T.s." "YOU WANTED TO QUIT BASKETBALL." "DID YOU QUIT?" "I CAN'T REMEMBER." "YOU DID." "I WOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU TOTALLY" "DIFFERENT ADVICE THREE MONTHS" "AGO, BUT NOW I FEEL LIKE YOU'VE" "REALLY GROWN FROM THE EXPERIENCE" "AND ASKING THE QUESTIONS." "AND, YOU KNOW, IN GROWTH, THERE" "IS PAIN, AND IT'S PAINFUL RIGHT" "NOW, BUT JUST KEEP GROWING." "DON'T GIVE UP." "WHYDOESSIZEMATTERSOMUCH?" "AND WHERE DOES THIS OBSESSION COME FROM?" "AND HOW CAN YOU HELP PEOPLE WHO FEEL INSECURE ABOUT IT?" "THERE'S NO GOOD WAY FOR ME TO" "GET A BIGGER DICK, BUT MAYBE I" "CAN FIND A WAY TO LIVE WITH THE ONE I'VE GOT." "IN NEW YORK, THERE'S A MAN THAT I'M TERRIFIED TO MEET." "HIS NAME IS JONAH FALCON, AND HE" "HAS THE WORLD'S BIGGEST PENIS." "AS FAR AS YOU KNOW, IS YOURS LIKE THE BIGGEST?" "ASFARAS IKNOW." "IT WAS MEASURED ON CAMERA 13 1/2"." "WITHOUT USING A RULER, I GO FROM" "HERE TO HERE, AND I'M AT THIS THICKNESS." "HOWHASHAVINGAPENIS THAT LARGE CHANGED YOUR LIFE?" "WELL,I WAS8" WHENIWAS10," "SO IT'S SORT OF LIKE NORMALCY FOR ME, YOU KNOW?" "RIGHT." "THEONLYTHINGTHATCHANGES" "IS PEOPLE'S REACTION TO ME." "MM-HMM." "YOUKNOW?" "SO, IT MAKES SEX EASIER." "IT DOESN'T MAKE RELATIONSHIPS EASIER." "YOU KNOW, I'VE HAD RELATIONSHIPS, BUT NONE OF THEM" "HAVE REALLY LASTED MORE THAN, SAY, EIGHT MONTHS." "WHYDOYOUTHINKTHAT IS?" "IMEAN,PEOPLETENDNOTTO" "THINK OF ME IN THAT SORT OF WAY, YOU KNOW?" "THEY TEND TO THINK OF ME AS MORE" "OF A, YOU KNOW, "LET'S SEE WHAT HE'S LIKE."" "SO,IT'SMOREOFLIKE A CURIOSITY, FASCINATION." "BASICALLY,YEAH." "RIGHT." "IMEAN,I'VEHAD ONE PARTNER SAY, "I DON'T LOVE YOU." "I JUST WANT YOU TO FUCK ME."" "MM-HMM." "YOUKNOW?" "WHICH IS REALLY A " " THAT'S" "REALLY A BULLET TO MY HEART BECAUSE " "  RIGHT." "YOUKNOW,ITHINKTHAT  THERE'S SOMETHING DEEPER, BUT" "APPARENTLY IT'S " " YOU KNOW," "WHERE I THINK IT'S HERE, THEY" "THINK IT'S HERE, IN TERMS OF DEPTH." "IMEAN,IHEARYOU." "I MEAN, LIKE, I HAVEN'T REALLY" "HAD VERY MANY SUBSTANTIAL" "RELATIONSHIPS, AND IT IS FAIRLY" "OBVIOUS NOW THAT I AM PROBABLY" "MAYBE A LITTLE BELOW WHAT IS AVERAGE." "BELIEVEITOR NOT,IHAVE" "BEEN BROACHED BY THIS TOPIC BY" "OTHER GUYS, AS WELL, AND ONE OF" "MY FAVORITES IS, "MAN, IF I HAD WHAT YOU HAD --"" "AND MY ANSWER IS, "WHAT?" "WHAT WOULD YOU DO?" "WHAT WOULD BE DIFFERENT?" "IT WOULD BE YOU PLUS A FEW EXTRA" "INCHES, BUT GUESS WHAT." "YOU'RE STILL YOU." "AND PEOPLE ARE GONNA LIKE YOU EITHER WAY."" "ITSTARTEDAS "PICKLE."" "MM-HMM." "ANDTHATPISSEDMEOFF,  AND I FELT IT IMMEDIATELY." "LIKE, THE HIGH SCHOOL RAGE CAME BACK." "WHYAREYOUDOING THIS DOCUMENTARY?" "IDON'TKNOW." "[LAUGHS]" "IDON'TKNOW." "ITSOUNDSLIKEAREALLY UNPLEASANT EXPERIENCE." "ITHASN'TBEENGREAT." "I'LL TELL YOU THAT MUCH." "AND THAT KIND OF STARTED THIS WHOLE PROJECT." "I'M NOW UNDER THE IMPRESSION" "THAT PROBABLY I'M LIKE A LITTLE BELOW AVERAGE." "HALFOFEVERYONEIS." "RIGHT." "RIGHT." "UM " " AND  "TOO SMALL" IS RELATIVE." ""TOOSMALL"IS RELATIVE?" "TOOSMALLFORHER ." "RIGHT." "WE'VEPASSEDTHISPOINTWHERE" "THE MALE BODY, ONCE UPON A TIME," "WAS NOT SUBJECT TO A CRITICAL GAZE." "AND NOW IT IS." "AND NOW MEN'S GENITALS ARE A" "SUBJECT OF SCRUTINY AND DEBATE" "AND, YOU KNOW, THUMBS UP OR" "THUMBS DOWN, IN A WAY THAT THEY" "DIDN'T USED TO BE, AND IN THE" "WAY THAT TITS ALWAYS WERE." "SHE HAD GOOD TITS." "SHE HAS BAD TITS." "SHE HAS BIG TITS." "SHE HAS A NICE RACK." "SHE DOESN'T HAVE A NICE RACK." "WHEREDOYOUTHINKTHESEKIND" "OF IDEAS ARE COMING FROM?" "WELL,WELIVEINA  PORN-IFIED CULTURE." "MM-HMM." "PORNISASKEWEDSAMPLE." "PEOPLE AREN'T SEEING A REPRESENTATIVE SAMPLE OF" "PENISES ANYWHERE." "ALL THEY'RE SEEING IS PORN PENISES." "WELL,THEFIRSTPENISIEVER" "SAW LOOKED LIKE IT HAD CRASHED LANDED ON THIS PLANET." "[LAUGHS]" "ANDIT,YOUKNOW, THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS." "AND,YOUKNOW,I'VEBEEN WITH" "GUYS WHO HAVE THAT PENIS." "AND IT'S NOT FUN." "ITHINKGUYSHAVETHIS IDEA" "THAT WHEN THEY'RE NOT AROUND," "WOMEN ARE CONSTANTLY TALKING ABOUT THEIR PENISES." "THESIZEOF THEIRPENISES." "I THINK POP CULTURE GIVES GUYS THAT IDEA." "I'M A FAG, AND I HANG OUT WITH" "WOMEN WHEN THERE AREN'T STRAIGHT GUYS AROUND." "AND IT ALMOST NEVER COMES UP." "YOU KNOW, THERE'S ONE FAMOUS" "STUDY THAT SHOWED THAT WOMEN " "THE LONG-TERM PARTNERS OF MEN" "WITH SMALL PENISES REPORTED HIGHER LEVELS OF SEXUAL" "SATISFACTION THAN LONG-TERM PARTNERS OF MEN WITH" "ABOVE-AVERAGE PENISES..." "HMM." "...BECAUSETHEGUYSWITH" "SMALLER PENISES DIDN'T JUST RELY" "ON THEIR MAGIC DICKS TO GET THEIR GIRLFRIENDS OF," "NECESSARILY." "RIGHT." "THEYFELTLIKETHEYHADTOGO" "THE " " MAKE SOME EXTRA EFFORT." "YOU HAD TO KNOW HOW TO HAVE SEX." "I WAS WITH A GUY WHO HAD A SMALL" "DICK, WHO WOULDN'T SHUT UP ABOUT IT." "I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT THE SIZE OF HIS DICK." "I REALLY DIDN'T." "BUT LISTENING TO HIM COMPLAIN" "ABOUT HIS DICK AND PROJECT HIS" "INSECURITIES ONTO ME ALL THE" "TIME WAS EMOTIONALLY EXHAUSTING." "I WAS FINE WITH HIS DICK." "I WASN'T FINE WITH HIS ASSUMPTION THAT I WASN'T FINE" "WITH HIS DICK, AND EVENTUALLY IT" "CONTRIBUTED TO OUR BREAKUP." "SOMEBODY WITH A BELOW-AVERAGE DICK ISN'T GONNA SATISFY" "SOMEBODY WHO'S A COCK-HOUND OR" "A SIZE QUEEN, AND SO WHAT?" "YOU JUST DON'T, THEN, MARRY A SIZE QUEEN." "MM-HMM." "YOUHAVETO FINDSOMEBODYWHO" "LIKE YOUR JUNK AND IT WORKS FOR" "THEM AND RUN OFF TOGETHER." "RIGHT." "THAT'SWHAT EVERYBODY HAS TO DO." "YOU HAVE TO FIND SOMEBODY WHO" "LIKES EVERYTHING YOU BRING TO THE TABLE." "THEONLYWAYTHATICAN MOVE" "ON IS TO FIND SOMEBODY WHO LIKES" "EVERYTHING THAT I BRING TO THE TABLE." "I NEED TO GET BACK ON THE HORSE." "SO, I'VE DECIDED TO ASK KASSIA OUT ON A DATE." "SHE'S THE GIRL FROM THE SEX SHOP." "[ ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ]" "¶MYHEARTBEATS¶MY HEART IS FEELING LOVE" "¶ MY HEART BEATS ¶ MY HEART BEATS STRONGER" "¶ MY HEART BEATS ¶ MY HEART IS FEELING LOVE" "¶ MY HEART BEATS ¶ MY HEART BEATS STRONGER" "¶ MY HEART BEATS ¶ MY HEART IS FEELING LOVE" "¶ MY HEART BEATS ¶ MY LOVE BEATS STRONGER" "¶ MY HEART BEATS ¶ MY HEART IS FEELING LOVE" "¶ MY HEART BEATS ¶ MY LOVE BEATS STRONGER" "¶ AND WHAT ARE WE DOING?" "¶ WHERE HAVE WE BEEN?" "¶ NO, NO ¶ A STUPID BAD CHAT ¶ TWO ON THE FLOOR" "¶ AND WAS THAT THE NIGHT..." "ALLRIGHT,SO , WHAT ABOUT TONIGHT?" "DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME TONIGHT?" "YEAH." "ISTHATFORREAL?" "YOUDID?" "YEAH." "I DID." "I MEAN, I'M STILL HAVING THE TIME." "STILLHAVINGTHETIME?" "YEAH." "I 'LLGETBACKTOYOU." "GETBACKTO ME  AFTER IT'S OVER?" "WHAT ABOUT ME?" "WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT ME?" "AM I JUST A WEIRDO?" "IT'SALLABOUTYOU ." "[LAUGHS]" "ITSEEMSLIKEYOU 'REAWESOME." "I JUST FEEL LIKE YOU ARE A" "LITTLE OBSESSED WITH THIS WHOLE THING." "[SIGHS]" "DO I SEEM OBSESSED?" "IS THAT KIND OF HOW I COME OFF?" "[LAUGHS]UM" "AS I HOLD A CAMERA IN YOUR" "FACE?" "YES." "YEAH." "YEAH,IT'SWEIRD." "I DON'T UNDERSTAND, LIKE " "THERE'S SO MUCH MORE GOING ON, I FEEL." "LIKE" "IF  YOU WANT TO HAVE A" "RELATIONSHIP, IF YOU WANT TO BE" "INTIMATE, IF ANY OF THAT MATTERS." "I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW HOW MEN FEEL." "IT'S SO NOT ALL ABOUT YOUR DICK." "HMM." "IFYOUGUYSCARE,P.S. ,IF" "THIS EVER MAKES IT, IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOUR DICK." "UH-OH." "YOURTURN?" "YEAH." "[SIGHS]" "I LIKE IT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CAMERA." "IT'S A LOT LESS -- IT'SBETTER,HUH?" "YEAH,IT'SWAYBETTER." "WHATEVER IT IS YOU NEED, NEEDS" "TO HAPPEN BEFORE I FEEL LIKE WE" "COULD EVEN GO GET A DRINK" "WITHOUT YOU THINKING ABOUT IT." "ITHOUGHTICOULDFIXMY" "PROBLEM, BUT MAYBE I AM THE PROBLEM." "I HAVE THE HONOR OF BRINGING UP YOUR NEXT COMEDIAN." "PLEASE MAKE SOME NOISE FOR MY GOOD BUDDY PATRICK MOOTE," "EVERYBODY, PATRICK MOOTE!" "[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]" "ANDREWSLEIGHTER,EVERYBODY." "GIVE IT UP." "SO, ANDREW TOLD YOU GUYS I JUST GOT BACK." "WHOO!" "BACK!" "[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]" "THANK YOU, GUYS." "IT WAS PRETTY COOL." "I GOT TO GO AROUND THE WORLD, SEE SOME STUFF..." "IN ORDER TO MAKE MY PENIS BIGGER." "[ LAUGHTER ]" "AND IN TAIWAN, THERE'S A GROUP OF PEOPLE." "THEY'RE THESE MARTIAL ARTISTS," "AND THEY TIE UP THEIR WHOLE" "SITUATION WITH A ROPE, AND THEN" "THEY HANG WEIGHTS, WHICH, IN TAIWAN, IS PROBABLY COOL." "24 HOUR FITNESS?" "OH, NOT SO MUCH." "[ LAUGHTER ]" "PLUS, IT'S LIKE FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND A SPOTTER." "YOU'RE LIKE, "HEY, YOU WANT TO SPOT ME, BRO?"" "[ LAUGHTER ]" ""MY DICK?" "DOWN THERE?"" "YOU KNOW?" "IT'S BEEN " " THIS WHOLE THING THAT I'VE BEEN" "DOING HAS BEEN CRAZY." "IT'S BEEN WEIRD, AND IT'S BEEN AWESOME." "BUT THE THING THAT I REALIZED" "THE MOST IS THAT, YOU KNOW, IT'S" "NOT ABOUT THE INSECURITIES THAT YOU HAVE, YOU KNOW?" "YOU GOT TO FIND SOMEBODY WHO'S RIGHT FOR YOU." "IT'SNOTALLABOUTTHEPENIS ." "ITHINKTHEY'REALL  BEAUTIFUL, JUST LIKE I THINK ALL" "TREES ARE BEAUTIFUL, IN THEIR OWN WAY." "IT'SWHATIT IS , AND IT'S FABULOUS." "IT'S GOT NERVE ENDINGS." "IT'S YOUR FRIEND." "[ ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ]" "MYPENISTOOKMETOPLACESI" "NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SEE." "IT MADE ME DO THINGS I NEVER DREAMT I WOULD DO." "HEY!" "AND ALONG THE WAY, I MET SOME REALLY GREAT PEOPLE." "[LAUGHS]" "[LAUGHS]" "[LAUGHS]" "BYE!" "YEAH." "BYE." "AH!" "[CHUCKLES]" "I STARTED THIS JOURNEY WITH A" "QUESTION " " DOES SIZE MATTER?" "AND IT DID " " TO ME." "BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?" "IT DOESN'T ANYMORE." "HA!" "AH!" "AH!" "[CHANTINGIN  NATIVE LANGUAGE ]" "ITHINKTHEBIGGESTTHING, THE WHOLE THING THAT I'VE" "LEARNED THROUGHOUT THIS ENTIRE" "JOURNEY, IS THAT, JUST BE COOL WITH YOURSELF, YOU KNOW?" "JUST BE GOOD WITH YOURSELF." "DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT." "[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]" "THE AVERAGE DEPTH OF THE FEMALE VAGINA IS 3.2"." "THE AVERAGE LENGTH OF THE MALE PENIS IS 4.4"." "SO, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?" "MAN,YOUGOTPLENTYOFPEOPLE" "IN YOUR LIFE THAT REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU, AND, YOU KNOW," "THERE'S FUCKING MILLIONS OF" "GIRLS OUT THERE, BRO, ALL RIGHT?" "TAKE IT EASY." "THANKSA LOT!" "IT'S BEEN GOOD." "MY NAME IS PATRICK MOOTE." "[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]" "PATRICKMOOTE,EVERYBODY!" "[ CHUCKLES ]" "SO,I GUESSTHAT'SABOUTIT." "I THINK I CAN SAFELY SAY THAT," "AT THIS POINT, I AM SICK OF TALKING ABOUT MY DICK." "AND I'M PRETTY SURE THAT YOU'RE" "ALL SICK OF HEARING ABOUT IT, SO" "I WILL SHUT UP ABOUT MY DICK AND" "TALK ABOUT THIS YOUNG LADY..." "[CHUCKLES] ...WHOISAWESOME." "MM.SUPER." "...ANDAMAZING,KINDOFPRETTY..." "MM-HMM." "...GREATATTITUDE,LIKE" "WHYAREYOUBEINGSOWEIRD ?" "I'MNOTBEINGWEIRD." "I'M JUST TELLING YOU THAT I THINK YOU'RE GREAT." "YOU'RENOTGONNA PROPOSE TO ME, ARE YOU?" "WHAT?" "ISTHAT-- [ LAUGHS ] COME ON!" "¶' CAUSEEVERYTHING MOVES ¶ EVERYTHING PULSES" "¶ EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU ¶" "¶ EVERYTHING MOVES ¶ EVERYTHING PULSES" "¶ EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU ¶" "¶ EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU ¶" "¶ IN THE EYES OF YOU ¶ IN THE EYES OF YOU" "¶ RAMBLE ON, CHUG ALONG" "¶ AND IF THE BEAT STOPS THUMPING" "THEN SOMETHING'S WRONG ¶" "¶ IGNORE IT, SON ¶ IT'S JUST A SONG" "¶ BUT I CAN SEE YOUR WHITE-KNUCKLED HAND FROM" "HOLDING ON ¶" "¶ SO LATELY I WONDER WHY WE RELY ON THE SURE THING ¶" "¶ IT'S TOO DAMN COMFORTING ¶ TO STAY ALIVE, OVERDRIVE," "TILL WE FIND SOMETHING NEW ¶" "¶ TO KEEP THE PULSE ALIVE IN YOU ¶" "¶ SO MANY ANGLES ¶ SO MANY LINES" "¶ SO MANY WAYS TO SEE THE SUNRISE ¶" "¶ 'CAUSE EVERYTHING MOVES ¶ EVERYTHING PULSES" "¶ EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU ¶" "¶ EVERYTHING MOVES ¶ EVERYTHING PULSES" "¶ EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU ¶" "¶ EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU ¶" "¶ IN THE EYES OF YOU ¶ IN THE EYES OF YOU" "¶ EVEN THOUGH I DON'T KNOW QUITE WHAT TO DO ¶" "¶ THE TIME WILL SHOW WHAT WE KNOW IS HARDLY EVER TRUE ¶" "¶ I'D RATHER HAVE THEN NEVER HAD THE SPINNING ROOM ¶=" "¶ THE FEELING THAT I MOVED" "¶ NO MORE STANDING STILL AT YOUR" "WILL, BUT YOU CAN TRY UNTIL YOU" "SEE THE MOTION'S MOVING YOU ¶" "¶ 'CAUSE EVERYTHING MOVES ¶ EVERYTHING PULSES" "¶ EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU ¶" "¶ EVERYTHING MOVES ¶ EVERYTHING PULSES" "¶ EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU ¶" "¶ EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU ¶" "¶ EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU ¶" "¶ EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU ¶" "¶ EYES OF YOU ¶ IN THE EYES OF YOU"