"Skyler, I'm so..." "Marie." "Oh, Christ, Marie." "How.?" "Oh, God." "Oh, thank God." "Is she beautiful?" "Yeah, I'm staring at brake lights on the 40." "Some accident up ahead." "Christ!" "Today of all days, huh?" "No, no, no." "Let her rest." "I'll be there as soon as I can." "Thank you." "Excuse me." "Skyler White?" " 307." " Thank you." "Skyler, I'm so sorry." "I'm just..." "Are you okay?" "Meet your daughter." "Hi there, girl." "Hi there, Holly." "Congratulations, Walt." "Oh, Ted, I'm sorry, I didn't see you here." "Oh, Ted drove me here." "Thank God." "I mean, this little bundle of joy of ours was practically on rails." "Halfway here I thought he was gonna have to pull over and deliver her himself." "Well, that..." "I'm glad it didn't come to that." "Yeah." "Thanks, Ted." "No problem at all." "Well, let me get out of your way here so you two can..." "You three can be alone, okay?" "Listen, take it easy, Sky." " I really can't begin to thank you." " Don't think anything of it." "It's my pleasure." "Congratulations again." " Thank you." " She's beautiful." "Okay." "I'll talk to you soon." "Okay." "Take care." "Bye." "Are you okay?" " Is everything okay?" " Everything is okay." "I just wish you'd been here." " Where's everyone else?" " Downstairs." "Hank and Marie took Junior for dinner." "He has been such a trouper." "He even changed his first diaper." " No." " Yeah." "Did he?" "Honey, is there anything that I can do for you?" " Anything at all?" " Actually, yes." "I left my overnight bag at home this morning." "I just think you get it in your head, C-section." "You know?" "But I'm just so glad, the way it all worked out." "Doing it natural instead." "It just couldn't have gone any better." "Good." "Let me go get your things." "And I'll get my stuff too, okay?" " I'll spend the night." " Okay." "Dad." "I was in the shower, hey." "I overslept." "I'm running late, but I'll be there." "Yeah." "Baby, I gotta go." "Okay." "Somebody broke in." "Okay." "Oh, no." "No, no, no!" "Come on." "Damn." "Oh, God." "Oh, Christ." "This week was tough." "Toughest yet." "You know why?" "I knew this day was coming." " My birthday." " Your re-birthday?" "Yeah." "As it got closer, it got worse." "I was scared shitless I wouldn't make it." "I really didn't think I would." "Called in sick three days in a row." "I know my boss was pissed." "I guess I don't really care." "I just didn't wanna see anybody." "You guys know how that is." "All it would take is one friend and I'd be out ripping and running again." "But I made it." "I really made it." "I got one year clean to the day." "You look tired." "Your eyes are kind of red." " You getting enough sleep?" " Actually, no." "I'm working on this really complex new tat." " Yeah?" " A guy wants his whole back done up." "Him on his chopper with, like, flames all around." "I keep showing him the design, he keeps asking for changes, like:" ""Give me more muscles." "Give me more flames."" "And I'm like, "A:" "This ain't the Sistine Chapel." "And B:" "I have enough trouble working around your zits."" "I really wish you wouldn't work at that place." "You need to avoid those type of people." "I know and I do." "It's mostly college kids and airmen from Kirtland." "It's actually really corporate." "Thank you." "So how's your job?" "Oh, you know." "Same old, same old." "Doing backup training on my days off." "God, they're hiring anybody now." "I mean, no experience at all." "It's scary." "You seeing anyone?" "No." "You?" "What about that guy next door?" "What do you mean?" "Well, he seemed to have some expectation of you introducing me to him." "He knows you own the place." "Yeah." "Dad, he's our tenant." "End of story." "Why would I get involved with a tenant?" "Okay." "There you go." "Oh, yes." "Oh, isn't she beautiful?" "I just think she's the most beautiful baby ever." "Yeah." "And why not?" "Good stock." "I'll get it." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Hello." "Hello?" "Nobody's there." "Oh, well." "Beat you." " Hello." " Hey, man." "Oh, hi, Carmen." "Just Carmen." " Come on." "Hurry up." " So you heard, huh?" "Yes, yes." "Good news." "Oh, she's just so beautiful." "Well, Holly." "Seven pounds, 3 ounces." "Everybody is doing just fine." "You junkie imbecile." "What are you calling this number for?" "I am trying to tell you, man." "Last night, somebody broke in my place, yo." " I got robbed." " What?" "Yeah." "Somebody, they got all of our stuff." "Okay?" "All of it." "You get me, Mr. White?" "The blue stuff." "It's, like, uncanny." "They knew exactly where to look." "I mean, say something, man, all right?" "Yell at me or something!" "Come on!" "Mr. White." "God!" "Oh, no." "Okay." "Okay." "Okay." "Hank, come on." "People are starving to death out here." "All right." "I just had to get a beer." "Finally." "All right, guys." "Here we go." "We got mild, medium and muy caliente." "I got dibs on the breast." " Los Pollos Hermanos?" " Oh, yeah, seriously." "You gotta try it." "I think this joint gives KFC a run for their money." "That baby is hungry." "Give me that baby." "Oh, sweetie, yes." "Do you have any coleslaw in there?" "Oh, no, no, no." "Come on." "Jeez, Sky." " Not at the table." "We're eating." " Hank, it's only a breast." " It's my sister-in-law's breast." " Oh, you are so provincial." "Hank, remember the day when you were talking to me about childproofing?" "Yeah." "Yeah, yeah." "What are you thinking?" "A fence or a cover?" "Yeah." "No, well, actually, I was thinking more of an alarm system." "They've got these new systems that are now sonar systems that would..." "Anything falls into it, it sets the alarm off." "Oh, nice." " Wow, that sounds expensive." " Well, yeah." " But for the baby, I mean..." " Well, why don't..." "Why don't you let Marie and I get that for you?" " Absolutely." " No, no." "Thank you." "No, no, please." "I'll be back at work soon." "We'll take care of it." "Back at work soon?" "Since you're scheduled for surgery I just thought it might be a good idea to have some money coming in." "Well, Skyler, we need to think about what's best for the baby." "And I think having her mother around for at least the first few years..." "Money-wise, we'll manage." "I promise you that." "What?" "You guys got, like, a printing press in the garage churning out 50s?" "I wish." "Mom's even talking about me getting a job." "That's right." "Everybody pitches in." "Why don't we ever get Chinese?" "I'll get her." "I'll get her." "Yes." "Good girl." "That's a good girl." "My little girl, huh?" "Hey, do you wanna see something?" "Come here." "Oh, I know, I know." "Yeah." "Hey." "You wanna see what your daddy did for you?" "Let me show you." "Here." "Come here." "Wanna see?" "That's right." "Daddy did that." "Daddy did that for you." "This place looks exactly the same." "Why don't you have computers and shit?" "It's the 20th century." "What the hell are you doing here?" " Get out." " No." "You took the stash." "I heard all those messages, figured it out." "You figured it out, huh?" "Well, congratulations, Einstein." "You left me to freak out all day long like I dropped the ball or something..." " ...and you were the one who took it!" " Shut up." "You lower your voice." ""Like you dropped the ball"?" "When have you ever not dropped the ball, Jesse?" "Blasted out of your mind on whatever the hell that was." "What was that, heroin?" "Jesus." "I was on my day off, man." "What I do on my day off..." ""Day off"?" "We were on call, you junkie." "On call for the biggest deal of our lives." "I just managed to pull it off by the skin of my teeth, no thanks to you." "And you made me miss the birth of my daughter." "Son of a bitch." "How much?" " How much what?" " How much did you get for the deal?" "One-point-two million." "Six hundred thousand each." "Four hundred and eighty thousand." "Saul's cut is 20 percent." "All right." "So where's my money?" "What?" "You are joking, right?" "If I gave you that money you would be dead inside of a week." "Man, look, I'm off the heroin." "I didn't even like it anyway." "It made me sick." "And the..." "And the meth." "You know, I could take it or leave it." "I'm clean, Mr. White." "For real." "Prove it." "Pee in that." " How gay are you, seriously?" " Pee in it." "They're selling testing kits at the drugstores." "If you are clean, I will give you every last dime." "No, huh?" "Well, I guess, until then you'll just have to depend on the kindness of strangers to get high." "That and your little junkie girlfriend." "Not on her tummy, Walt." "I'm not putting her on her tummy." "I'll put her on her side." "Do you wanna hold her back?" " Yeah." " Right there." "Just in case she decides to do a little spit-up I'm gonna roll up a nice clean towel like this and put it under." "Hammacher Schlemmer makes a proper one of those." " It's hypoallergenic." " Oh, yeah?" "Well, I think a towel will do." "Skyler, what is it?" "Your son." "He is just unbelievable." "Come see what he did." " I told you it's not ready yet." " Honey, just show it to them." "My God, son." "That's wonderful." "Flynn." "This is beautiful." "Well, I, for one, am telling everybody." "Wait a minute." "You're not asking for money, are you, son?" "Yeah." "That's the whole idea." "Louis helped me set up a PayPal account and everything." " See?" " But we can't ask for money." "Walt." "Okay." "I appreciate it." "I really do." "Show me what else you put on." "This was all his idea." "He worked so hard on it." " Just let him help." " Skyler." "It's..." "You can't ask him to take it down." " It'll crush him." " Skyler, it's charity." "Why do you say that like it's some sort of dirty word?" "This is insane." "I have so much cash on hand that I actually count it by weighing it on my bathroom scale." "And yet, I can't spend it." "I can't tell my family about it." "All of whom think that I am right on the edge of bankruptcy." "I mean, it's..." "It's insane." "Well, I guess that's why gangsters had molls." "What?" "Gun molls." "Haven't you ever seen White Heat?" "Yeah, I've seen White Heat..." " ...but I don't see how that pertains." " Maybe you need a moll more than a wife who you can't trust with your secrets." " Just..." " What good is money that doesn't spend?" "The tree falls in the forest..." "You know, you get the point." "So communicating is out?" "Out." "Let's see." "What else is there?" "There's always, "Hey, I found a big bag of money down by the railroad tracks."" "No?" "No?" "Works for me." "Uncle Murray." "Oh, yeah." "Yeah, "Oh, many is the happy memory of Uncle Murray bouncing me on his knee." "We lost track of the old pervert years ago..." " ...but he kicked it, left me millions."" " No, no." "It cannot be blind luck or some imaginary relative who saves us." "No, I earned that money, me." "And now my son created his own website..." "Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?" "Yeah, look at that." "It's got PayPal and everything." "Cyber-begging." "That's all that is." "Just rattling a little tin cup to the entire world." "Yeah, there's no deep-seated issues there." "Walter, I'm looking at the answer here." "It's staring me in the face." " Do I have to spell it out for you?" " I know." "I know." "You're thinking that I should be funnelling money into my son's website, but absolutely not." "I am not going to have my family think that some mystery benefactor saved us." "Not some mystery benefactor, singular." "That would raise too many questions." "However..." "Stay with me here." "...zombies." "I got a guy, who knows this guy, who knows this Rain Man-type." "He lives with his mother in her basement in Belarus, all right?" "So good luck extraditing his fat Russian ass." "Wait." "He's a hacker-cracker extraordinaire." "This guy can hijack random desktops all around the world, turn them into zombies that do his bidding." "For instance, he can make it so 20- or 30,000 little donations come in from all over the US and Canada." "Ten, 20, 50 bucks a pop all paid in full, nice and neat, untraceable from the good-hearted people of the world to Mr. Walter H. White cancer saint." "I'm getting a warm and fuzzy feeling just thinking about it." "He's an asshole, that's what." "Always judging me." "Not too much." "I mean, like, who is he, right?" "I mean, first off, I taught him." "Always acting like I'm his indentured servant." "Now the cotton." "Needle?" " I don't understand why you need him." " Exactly." "My point exactly." "Flat against your skin so it doesn't wiggle around too much." "How much does he owe you, anyway?" "Four hundred and eighty." "Oh, hell, I'd be mad too if somebody owed me 500 bucks." "No, no." "Four hundred and eighty thousand." "What?" "What?" "Thousand." "Not on your back, in case you throw up." "On your side." "Sleep on your side." "And she's all like:" ""Don't preach to me. " And I'm like, "Baby, I'm not preaching to you." "I'm talking about basic survival, you know?" "I'm conversing about life and death."" "I mean, this here, what we've been doing hell, Becky knows." "Dad?" "I overslept." "I'm on my way." "Dad?" "Dad, wait." "Dad, it's not what it looks like." "Dad." "Dad, will just wait?" "Let me..." "Just talk to you for one second." "No, Dad." "Dad, come on." "Dad?" "Dad, no." "No, stop it!" "Don't touch him, Dad!" " Dad, stop." "Dad, let him go!" " Son of a bitch." "Dad, no." "Stop it!" "Stop it, Dad!" "Stop it!" " Get away from me, man." "Back off." " Jesse." " Jesse, no!" " Back off!" " Okay, everybody just calm down!" " What's with you, yo?" " Because I'll seriously bust you up." " You miserable little smackhead." " Get the hell out!" " Hey, I pay my rent, bitch!" "All right?" "I got civil rights." "Dad, no!" "Okay!" "Jesse, come on." "Please, no." "Come on." "I pay my rent." "You're going back to rehab." "Today." "Now." "Look, as it so happens, we were just..." "We were just talking about that now." " Yeah?" " Yeah, I was gonna tell you, okay?" " If you would just let me." " Eighteen months." "You have been clean for 18 months, Jane." "Why?" "Why do you do it?" "I backslid, okay?" "Like, what?" "What, you think I'm proud of this?" "Like I do it on purpose?" "Lying to me shacking up and using with this scumbag, this loser." "It takes one to know one." "His name is Jesse." "You don't know the first thing about him." "We talk about rehab every night." "It's his idea." "You talk about rehab?" "Well, gee, isn't that wonderful?" "Thank you for not being judgemental 24 hours a day." "Because that's exactly what I need, to be judged all the time!" "Okay." "You know what you need?" "I'll tell you what you need." "What are you doing?" " What are you doing?" " I am calling the police." " Dad." "Dad, no, don't." " Come on." "Come on!" " Dad, no." "Don't." " I have tried 10 years of love and understanding." "Maybe what it takes is you drying out in a jail cell." "Dad, no." "Yes, I would like to report drug use in a building that I own." " Dad." "Daddy, no." " No." "It's ongoing." "It's illegal activity." " I'd like to talk to somebody." " Daddy." " Would you connect me, please?" " Fine, we'll go to rehab." "I could care less about him going to rehab." " I want you in rehab." " I'll go first thing tomorrow." "Not tomorrow." "Today." "I have to call into work." "I have to stop the newspaper." "The last time I went, my houseplants died because you didn't water them." "Daddy, please?" "I'll go." "Albuquerque Police." "How may I direct your call?" "Tomorrow." "Hello?" "Hello?" "I'm sorry." "I made a mistake." "Tomorrow." "You meant all that?" "I don't know." "I just think if we had enough money nobody could make us do anything." "Oh, just let it ring." "No, I'm gonna go see who it is." "It's okay, Holly." "It's okay, sweetie." "Good luck with that." "But I'm sure he'd be glad to, you know, write some..." "You know, actually, here he is right now." "So hold on a second." " What?" " It's one of your..." "One of your old students wants a letter of recommendation." "Oh, okay." "Thanks." "Oh, honey, I think the baby is getting hungry." " This is Walter White." " Hello, Walter White." "I'm sorry." "I'm having a little trouble recalling..." "It's Jane." "You know, of Jesse and Jane." "Jesse's "junkie girlfriend."" "Oh, yes, yes." "Of course." "It really has been a long time." "Get somewhere where you can talk." "Sure." "Yes." "I am looking into that as we speak." "How the hell did you get this number?" "Did Jesse give it to you?" "All Jesse wants is what's coming to him." "No more, no less." "What are you talking about?" "Four hundred and eighty thousand." " He told you about the money." " He told me everything." "So, what is this?" "What, some kind of blackmail or something?" "This is me telling you to do right by Jesse." "Bring him what you owe him." "I don't call that blackmail." "I call that you getting off your ass, and being a decent human being." "Well, I call it blackmail." "Dialling my number." "Talking to my wife." "And what's your end of this?" "How much heroin does a half a million dollars buy?" "For your information, I am holding Jesse's money for him and he will receive every last dollar of it." "He will, not you at a time when I see fit." "But I will not contribute to his overdose." "Now you tell him, if he gets clean..." " If you both get clean..." " You know what?" "I take that back." "This is blackmail." "Because what I know about you, high-school teacher turned drug dealer, with a brother-in-law in the DEA that would make one hell of a story." "National news, I'll bet." "Do right by Jesse tonight or I will burn you to the ground." "Shit." "He's a high-school teacher." "What's he gonna do, give you a B-minus?" "Send you outside to clap the erasers?" "You wouldn't really go to the cops, would you?" "We won't have to." "He'll pay." "And what if he doesn't?" "Jesse, it's your money." "You're in the right here." "He's in the wrong." "He's not stupid." "He'll pay." "What is it, really?" "You don't want your half a million dollars?" "You wanna renounce your earthly possessions and become a monk?" "No, it's just, I'm not the kind of dude who rolls." "And by extension, you know, neither are you." "I mean, he's my partner." "I'm your partner." "The largest land animal in all the planet lives in a tightly knit matriarchal society led by the eldest female in the herd." "Close your eyes and go to sleep." "She is finally asleep." "What you doing, learning about elephants?" "Oh, honey, we're out of diapers." "Would you mind going out?" "Jesse." "Not you." "Nice job wearing the pants." "How do I know she'll keep quiet?" "I guess you don't." "You'll never hear from either of us again." "You're not seeing straight, Jesse." "You are making a mistake." " Do you know what this is?" " It's a whole lot of cheddar." "This is freedom." "This is saying, "I can go anywhere I want." "I can be anybody."" "Who do you wanna be?" "Where do you wanna go?" "South America?" "Europe?" "Australia?" " Is New Zealand part of Australia?" " New Zealand is New Zealand." "Right on." "New Zealand." "That's where they made Lord of the Rings." "I say we just move there, yo." "I mean, you can do your art." "Right?" "Like, you can paint, like, the local castles and shit." "And I can be a bush pilot." "Yeah." "New Zealand." "I can get behind that." "But I guess I'm good anywhere as long as it's the two of us." "But first, we gotta get clean." "And not because anybody is telling us to." " We do this for us, right?" " Yeah." "Absolutely." "For us." "All this here, we're not gonna just shoot this up our arms, Jesse." "We're not." "Hell, no." "No, no, no." "We're better than that." "We're way better than that." "I say..." "I say we flush what we've got left and we start tonight." "Yeah, we can do that." "Definitely." "Excuse me." "What can I get you?" "Give me a Fat Tire draught, please." "Damn it." "Hey, honey." "No." "I don't know what to tell you." "Three stores I've been to so far, and not one of them have it in stock." "Well, do they have to be diapers for newborns?" "What if we went up a size and just kind of..." "All right, all right." "No, I understand." "All right." "No, I'll just keep looking." "I'm pulling into Wal-Mart now, so..." "Yeah." "Okay." "Love you." "Thank you." "God." "Well played." "They found water on Mars." "They have indeed." "Don't know what to do with that information but, hey, God bless them, they found it." "Oh, well, actually they theoretically can separate the hydrogen from the oxygen and process that into providing fuel for manned space flights." "Ostensibly, turning Mars into a giant gas station." "So it's a..." "Yeah." "We live in an amazing time." " To water on Mars." " To water on Mars." "So, what did you have?" "Girl or boy?" " Little girl." " That's nice." " Thanks." " Congratulations." "Thank you." " I have a daughter." " Yeah?" "How old?" "Old enough to know better." "Twenty-seven next month." " You have other kids?" " Just the one." "I've got a 16-year-old boy." "Well, he's almost 16." "Jeez." "Oh, there's a spread, huh?" "But he helps out, though." "He's even changing some diapers now, so..." "It's more than I managed to do when I was his age." "Kids today grow up faster, I think." "Oh, yeah." "Yeah, maybe so." "So, any advice?" "Having a daughter." "Any advice?" "No, not really." "Just love them." "Just..." "Yeah." "I mean, they are who they are." "Yeah." "I've got this nephew." "This nephew who is..." "I mean, he's an adult." "But you can't infantilize them, you can't live their life for them." "But still, I mean, there is that frustration." "You know, that..." "God, that frustration that goes along with, you know:" ""Yes, as a matter of fact, I do know what is best for you, so listen."" "But of course, they don't." "I mean, what do you do with someone like that?" "Family?" "Yeah." "Family." "You can't give up on them." "Never." "I mean, what else is there?" "Jesse, it's me." "Jesse, I just wanna talk." "Jesus." "Jesse." "Jesse." "Jesse, wake up." "Jesse, wake up." "No, no, no."