"Stealthily the hideous monster neared its victim." "Its footsteps ringing metallically on the stone pavement." "The victim was still unaware of the approaching horror as the monster scrambled over the rooftop." "Slowly ... slowly the monster approached." "Its shadow could now be seen through the fanlight." "Noiselessly the fanlight opens." "The horrifying moment is nigh." "The fiendish monster dropped to the ground, as silent as the night." "Syd!" "Ha-ha." "Cool." " Oh, dear, I thought you were a blood sucking vampire." " You wouldn't be the first." "Didn't you hear the doorbell?" " I've had to climb across that flaming roof like a cat burglar." " Look, Sydney." "I'm highly strung and when I'm working, I'm oblivious to all." " Working?" "You call it work, reading those horror books?" " Sydney!" "Please!" "I am a proof reader, Sydney, a very integral part of the literary field, you know." "You see, someone have to check the grammar of every publication." "For all I know, I say, I would probably should not." "It's not everyone who can do it proper." " I see what you mean." " Besides ..." "It's more beneficial to mankind, is it not, than ... "bookmaking"?" "You think so?" " How much they pay you for reading that rubbish?" " Look, you must know, it's five and six for each horror." "And three and six for the sexy ones." " Why is it two bob cheaper for the sexy ones?" " I am ready not to get two bobs for the pleasure of reading them." " What's fair enough." "How many you've got to read tonight?" " Oh, about four of them." "Yeah, that's right." "I started of with "The Battered Body in the Basement"." "And finished with "The Fiend of The Second Floor Flat"." "He gets about, ain't he?" "Supper ready?" "I thought you were bringing in cod and chips twice." "How many times do I have to tell you." "It's my late evening at the dogs tonight." "It's you ought to make me omelette and baked beans." "Let's sit." " But I'm up to my eyeballs in bloody bodies." "Don't ... talk to me about baked beans, please." " You're in too temperamental mettle, that's your trouble." " Ah, all right." "I'll nip down to the fish and chippery." " Does it." "Oh, Sydney." "I'm highly imaginative I know, but would you leave the door open, please." "I've just read the part here, where the mad scientist is ... following a trail of blood and gore leading into the sewers." "And don't forget the gherkins!" "You were quick..." "Did you remember the gherkins?" "Mr Broughton?" "Mr Broughton." " Yeah ..." "Ha-Ha ..." "Thought you were Syd." " Everett Sloane, solicitor." " You are Mr Ernest Broughton?" " OK, yes, I am, indeed I am." " Ah, no, if it's the rent, I'll have a check in the post tomorrow." " Your rent is no concern of mine, Mr Broughton." " My business concern it's about your Uncle Mr Gabriel Broughton." " Uncle Gabriel?" " I don't owe him anything, do I?" " No ..." "No." "Oh ..." "Oh, that's alright then." "The old boy is in some kind of trouble, is he?" "In a way." "He's dead." " Oh ..." "Oh, ah, well, if you're collecting for a wreath..." " Mr Broughton, it's my duty to inform you that you are a beneficiary under your late uncle's will." "I am?" " As one of the surviving members of the Broughton family." " Wow!" "Thank you very very much indeed, Mr Sloane for bringing me such good... er, sad news." "Very distressing menu ..." "you lose one of your nearest and dearest." "Very sad." "How much am I getting?" "I was not in position to tell you." "It could be almost anything." " Oh, ha-ha-ha, well." "That's nice." " Yes it could be." "The reading of the will is tomorrow evening." "Is that convenient?" " Oh, yes, yes, it will be quite convenient." "Thank you very much indeed!" " Your instructions how to reach Blackshaw Towers." " I'm very much obliged, Mr Sloane." " Where?" " Blackshaw Towers, your late uncle's residence in Yorkshire." " Yorkshire?" " A very attractive county." "Blackshaw Towers itself commands a most imposing view of the moors." " Yes, well I, here, I should point out to you, you know, Mr Sloane, I do have several highly important literary functions to attend and I am afraid..." " I'm afraid I must point out that failure to attend the reading may have serious, if not fatal consequences." " Oh, he, ha-ha, oh, well, I better make it rea... attend to be there." " Until tomorrow night, Mr Broughton." " Ah, Mr Sloane." " Yes." " What, what did my poor uncle die of?" " He died of Status Lymphaticus." " Oh!" "That's nice." "What's that?" " It's a glandular disturbance ..." "brought on by shock." "Ah, shock, yes." "So ..." "Electric?" "No..." "Fear!" "Good night, Mr Broughton." "Sorry mate." "Don't mention it." " Hear, Ernie." " What?" " Who was that horrible looking zombie going downstairs?" "Zombie?" "You are refering to my solicitor, Sydney." " You in trouble then?" " I am not." " I'm a beneficiary?" " You're filthy swine." "How long can they give you for that?" " Sydney, sometime I'll wonder how it's possible to live with an ignoramus." " Oh, I'll manage somehow." "You going away?" "Sydney ..." "If you must know, this is a ... rather a sad time for me." "My uncle Gabriel has just kicked the buck... passed on, and I have to go to Yorkshire tomorrow to ... the family residence to settle the family estate, you know." "Oh yes, Your Lordship." "Well, if you'll excuse me, Your Lordship, I'm going to have me fish and chips, Your Lordship." "How you can think of food at a time like this." "There's my dear Uncle Gabriel has just departed and you..." " Did you remember the gherkins?" " Of course." " Aren't you in the least bit interested in what my solicitor imparted to me?" " No." " Alright then." "You think more of your stomach than you do of my good fortune." " I do." "Alright." " I'll tell you then." " I thought you might." "I happen to have come into rather a large fortune." "I wish I'd known, I'd have ordered double chips." " How much are we getting then?" " We, Sydney?" "I have to go up to Yorkshire tomorrow to find out exactly how much I have inherited." "Well, knowing your luck, I'll be betting that what you'll get at the finish will be up to the brass candlestick and the china gozunder." "Very well." "If you're going to scoff..." "I might change my mind about asking you to accompany me." " You are committed that I come with you?" " Oh, Syd, please." "Because I've gone up in the world doesn't mean that I'll desert my friends." "Besides I think the trip will do you good." "Because you woudn't be asking me because you don't fancy the look of that zombie solicitor, would you?" "Hey, put that outside." "That's just like you, isn't it?" "I do a friendly gesture and you go and twist it." "Oh, Mr Sloane might scare you mate, but he certainly doesn't frighten me." "Sorry to startle you Mr Broughton, but I dropped my scarf." "You better come with me, Syd." "Here we are." " Hey Syd, this is your suitcase." " You hang onto it." "Anybody here?" "Blimey, if I'd known, I wouldn't have bought a ticket." "Lively innit?" "You wait here, I'll see if I can find a taxi." " Don't be long, Syd." " Eh, don't you get yourself into any trouble." "What be you up to?" "I be up to nothing." "Where be you come from?" " I be from London actually." "Just got off the train." " Train, what train?" " The one that just've gone out." " Shouldn't have without my knowing." "I always just been missing them." "I see." " I see." "I'm only waiting for a taxi." " No taxis run on this line." " No, I suppose not really." "My friend's out looking for one." " He'll be lucky." "We ..." "We've got to get to Blackshaw Towers." " Blackshaw Towers?" " Yes." "My uncle lives there actually." "Look." "I would say, used to... died recently." "I'm not surprised." "You've got any sense you'll stay away from that place." " Ernie!" "Come on." " This man said..." "We're talking." "This chap here says it's a bit dicey up at Blackshaw." " What chap?" " Oh, the porter here." "See..." "Mr porter." " Mr porter." " Ernie, you're having them again." "Nonsense, Syd." "I'm not having them." "I was out there reading the timetable, Syd." "Suddenly I've got a smack in the nose like that, then I came to and there he was." "Little, short, somewhat wispy bloke he was, with a 'tache." "He looked like a rat looking [to and fro upon something in bewilderment]." "You finished?" "Pick up the cases, come on." "I've got the transport." "Come on!" "There's room for one in t'back." "Come on." " Syd ..." "Is this an omen?" " No it's a Rolls Royce, get in." "Come on." "Take it easy, can you?" "No." "Shut up, Marnie." "You're better of than those that usually go in the back." " Is this it?" " Nay." "I aren't going no further." " Now look here my man." " Now you look here." "I aren't sure I can get to Blackshaw Towers in this weather." " Even if I did I aren't sure I get back." " Ah, wait there, man." "Mate, you said..." " I said "No!"." " I'll take you back to the station, or you can hoof it to the towers." " Hoof it?" "How far?" "Straight up there, half a mile." " Exactly?" " Give or take a mile." " Make up your mind." " Come on, Ernie." "Come on." "I have a good mind to report you to the pallbearers union." " How much?" " Seventeen and six." " Seventeen and six." "You can get me change?" " Here it is." " Is this seventeen and six here then?" " Ah, give or take a bob." "And you better mind them bogs." " Them what?" " Bogs." " They've claimed many a victim." " Oh, so have you." " Ha-ha-ha!" "Very good." "Come on." " Sydney!" "Hey!" "This is yours." " Yeah, hang onto it." " Oy!" "Sydney!" " Yeah." " Where abouts are all these... bogs?" "Hey, Sydney look, your ca..., your case, quick ... quick." " Oh, let get back, let me have a go." " Quick, quick... hold on, quick." "Raise!" "..." "Go on!" " Good!" "You clot." "I had my toothbrush in there." "Not exactly a holiday camp is it?" "Never mind, mate, I guarantee we get a giggle out of the place." "Perhaps I've been a bit optimistic." " I think we better go round the back." " OK, Syd." " Go on then." " Who me?" " Blimey, you're an old girl." " Don't be long Syd." "Syd!" "Sydney!" "..." "Syd!" " Very good, how d'you do it?" " I didn't." " It did itself." " Did it?" "Come on then." " Syd!" " There something creepy about this place." " What's a few creeps against a few thousand quid?" "Come on." "Come on." "Black cat, that's lucky." "Who for?" " Sydney!" " Yeah." " F..." "French impressionists." " Who?" " Rembrandt." "Works of art." "Stone me!" "Look at that." "He must have been going like a bomb when he hit that wall." "Yeah." "You'll have to get rid of this lot for a start." " Get rid of what, Sydney?" " All this codswallop." " Please." "You're talking of priceless heirlooms." " Priceless!" "You wouldn't get thirty bob for this at the church bazaar." "Here, come on." "Steady on mate, you'll batter the door down." " Manners, Sydney." " Will get you nowhere boy." "Ah!" "Welcome, fellow travellers." "The name is Guy, Guy Broughton." "Late officer of Her Majesty's forces and one time gentleman." "To which side of the family do you show allegiance?" "Not me mate, him." "Uncle Gabriel was my erm... uncle." "I'm Ernest." "What professional service were you thrown into?" "Foreign service or the Church?" "You know, your collar's the right way round." "The army too." " As a matter of fact, I did do my whack." " Ah!" " Sandhurst primarily?" " Glass house mainly." "I dig it he is your batman." " Hi mate." "I happen to be Mr Broughton's legal advisor." " Oh!" "How very lucky for him." "Tell me, are there many relatives attempting to get their mitts on Gabriel's lucre?" " Well, good lord yes, a whole mad bunch of us." " Mad?" " Oh well dear, Broughtons are all a bit..." "Don't you agree?" " I agree." "Come in." " What does he want, Syd?" " You by the look of it." "I am not sure, but you smile nicely and he might show you to your rooms." "Eddie, these are the new arrivals." "Good evening, Sirs." " Just the two of us, me and Mr. Butler." " You know, one Butler to another." "This way gentlemen." "Ring up Madame Tussauds and see if anyone's missing." " Which of you gentlemen owns this?" " Him." " Your room sir." " Thanks cheeky." "This way for you sir." "Looks like you're elsewhere mate." "Good luck." "Wait for me." "Is it far?" "I like to be near my friend., Sydney." "Your room is in the east wing." "The late master's chamber." "Oh!" "..." "Thick." "Bedroom..." " Oh!" "The nice ... er ... comfortable bed." " Yes." "The master died in it." "Careless, very careless." "I trust you pass a peaceful night." " Good evening." " Oh, Sydney." " You're nervous?" " Yes, I am a bit." "Sydney, it's meeting my relatives for the first time, you know." " I have a very fine family tree." " Yeah." "Well, if we are happen to get downstairs, we'll might be [thrilled] to see them swinging from the branches by their tails." "I regard that as low class humour, Sydney." "I'll trouble you to observe a little more decorum when you meet the family tonight, excuse me." "At least take your hat off at the dinner table." " So you're proud of your family." "You reckon they're landed gentry." " Well ..." "You can see that for yourself, Syd." "My cousin Guy for instance." " Norman blood there, I should think." " 90% proof." "Sydney, you're talking of my stock." "They're full of breeding, gentility." "Charm." " You drunken fool, Guy." " Janet!" "You keep out of this, father." "Guy's drinking will ruin everything." "Janet, really, your manners are appalling." "And kindly lower your voice to a scream at least." " Why are you always bickering?" " Simple, father." "My dear sister and I have absolutely nothing in common, except you, pater." "Who is this upstart who's just arrived?" " Cousin Ernest." " Ernest, I've never even heard of him." " No." "Probably one of our lower class relations." " However, does it matter?" " Of course it matters." "He's probably only here to see what he can claim out of Gabriel's will." " See what he can get out of it." " Aren't we all?" " I bet they'll welcome me with open arms, Sydney." " Yeah, I'm sure they will." "Come on." "Hurry up." " Wait a minute." " How am I looking, Syd?" " Marvellous." " Are you entering a beauty competition?" " You got to be neat." "I'll see you downstairs." "And don't come down after midnight, 'cos you'll change into a pumpkin." "Pumpkin... midnight." "How d'you do." "I'm Ernest." "Are you one of my relations." " Syd, did you see him?" " Who, Liberace?" " I hope he's not one of the family." " I wouldn't be surprised." "Let's come and see." " Why wasn't the will read when we arrived." "It's intolerable." " Don't be too impatient, Janet." " As I tell, jew Gabriel might have left the whole lot to lower class Ernest." " That is not funny, Guy." " Malcolm, have you met this ..." "Ernest?" " Yes ... yes ..." " He's quite mad." " That's rich coming from you." "Hello, hello, hello." "Evening." "Ernie ..." "Presenting Mr Ernest Broughton, my client and number one contender for the Legacy Stakes." "I am Doctor Edward Broughton, Gabriel's brother." " Therefore your uncle." " I suppose." "How d'you do." " You've met Guy and..." "Malcolm." " Oh yes ... yes." " My daughter Janet." "Oh!" "Highly charmed." " Oh!" " Sorry!" "Ah!" "Please excuse." "Can I wipe you up?" "I mean down." "Never mind." "Syd!" "..." "The cat's got me." "Well, pull it." " Oooh, we're all in here." "How cosy." " We've been waiting for you, Aunt Emily." " Have you?" "How nice." "I've been finishing one of my woolly helmets for the boys in the trenches." "A bit late for that, ain't it." "The war was over years ago." "Nonsense." "It only started in 1914." "It would all be over by now if it wasn't for the politicians." "Things will be very different when Mrs. Pankhurst gets us women the vote." "Oh ..." "The baby of the family." "You must be Ernest." "I haven't seen you since you were in your pram." "You haven't changed a bit." "Oh, I must have done." "What is your profession, Ernest?" " Literary." " Good evening." " If you'll all be seated." " That it's all, boys!" "Bring the classroom to order." " I don't think we've met, Mr..." " We have, mate, but you wouldn't remember." " Butler, Sydney Butler, Mr Broughton's legal advisor." " A-ah..." " Well ..." "Are we all present?" " Shall we number from the left?" " Miss Dickson." " Who?" " Miss Dickson." " Gabriel's nurse?" "Why should she be present?" "It was Mr Gabriel Broughton's express wish that she should be present for the reading of the will." " Why?" " That remains to be seen." "If this person is left anything, I shall certainly contest it." "It's well known that nurses have an undue influence on a dying man." "I'm quite sure I didn't." "Halloa!" "Things are beginning to brighten up round here." "Don't just sit there, give the lady a chair." " Oh, yes, yes, of course." " There you are." " You'll be nice and comfortable there." " Thank you, Mr ..." " Sydney." "Call me Sydney, gentleman of the turf." " We can't begin until you're seated, Mr Broughton." " I know." "No, of course not." " You're keeping us all waiting." " I'm terribly sorry." "I..." " Why don't you sit here." "There's plenty of room." " Thank you." "Thank you." "Pardon my back, old man." "Now then..." "The last will and testament of Mr Gabriel Broughton." ""I Gabriel Broughton, ..." "being of sound mind..." ""I Gabriel Broughton, being of sound mind, do hereby bequeath to each member of my family present at Blackshaw Towers..." "Nothing." " What a diabolical liberty." "He can't do this to me." " Guy!" " Mr Sloane." "D'you mean to say my uncle left us nothing?" " Nothing, my dear..." "Nothing!" " We shall contest it." "When was the will dated?" " The day prior to Mr Gabriel Broughton's death." "It was witnessed by myself and ..." "Doctor Edward." "Did anyone see uncle Gabriel after he made his will?" "I ..." "I was alone with him ... that last day." "Hard luck, father old bean." "You polished off the old boy for nothing." " Miss Dickson." " Yes?" " You must have attended Gabriel that last day." " As a matter of fact, I did not." "On that day Mr Gabriel instructed that only Dr Edward should attend him." "He was most emphatic about it." "He died that night." " Anything else, Mr Sloane?" " Oh yes, ... there's the matter of Miss Dickson." "You want to invest this very carefully." "My card." "To Miss Linda Dickson, who has nursed me in a most solicitous manner during my recent illness," "I bequeath... my drugs, pills, hypodermic syringe..." "and empty medicine bottles." "Hard luck, Janet." " You hated us all, didn't you?" " You can hardly blame him, my dear." "I don't understand this guy..." "Why did he bring us all this way just to tell us he'd left us Sweet Fanny Adams?" "Very simple..." "He was like the rest of us." " Quite mad." " That settles it." "Come on Syd." " Where d'you think you're going?" "Home." " Ernest!" " Yes, ma'am." "I've been thinking of someone who might help you in your career." "Are you acquainted with Mr Shaw?" " Artie Shaw?" " Bernard Shaw." "Oh!" "Most influential." "You really must meet Mr Shaw." " Er, well, ah, I know that he was so..." " Oh, busy?" "Oh, nonsense." "What's the use of having influential friends if you can't take advantage of them." " Syd!" "..." "Syd!" "..." "Syd!" "Sydney!" "Syd!" " Yes mate." " Oh, thank goodness." " What's the matter?" "D'you need a tenner for the meter?" " Oh, I do think candlelight is so much nicer." " Is it a fuse?" " We have a real power house." "There must be something wrong with the generator." " Where to look for it then?" " It's in the garden." " Right." "Come on." " I think I'll stay and look after the ladies, Sydney." " Hey Fiskie, that dog howling, where is it?" " There are no dogs here, sir." "Strange, that should be locked." "Cor blimey, a fat help of fixing that." "Looks as though someone has lost their temper a bit." " But who did it?" " Who can say." " But one thing is certain." " What's that?" " This is only the start." " What's he is sitting out there for?" " Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, dear, it's unbelievable." "Why, he'll catch his death of..." "his death of... his death of... of co..." " Hey... is he..." " Well, if he ain't, he's a very heavy sleeper." "Oh, we ..." "We can't leave him round here, can we?" "Well, you look..." "Let's put him in the potting shed." "It's over there somewhere." " Look, it would be easier to bring the potting shed over to him." " Come on." " Have you fixed it?" " No." " Something terrible's happened." " It's Edward, isn't it?" "How..." "How did you know?" "He was mad of course." "Quite mad." " What happened to father?" "An accident?" " Accident, my foot!" " We found him dead, and by the look of it, it's murder." " Murder?" " Well, we better phone the police." " We don't want the police here surely." " We?" "There's some bloke knocking about the place we know nothing about." "There's no one here but us." " There must be." " Why?" " Why?" "What I mean, if there isn't anybody else, then it means that the murderer..." " is one of us." " A most illuminating deduction." "Well, that settles it." "I'm going to ring the police." "Send for the taxi as well." "Are you alright?" "What I said just..." "What I said just now ... about the murderer being one of us..." " I didn't mean it might be you, of course." " I know." "Anyway, there's no need for you to worry now." "I'm here." " Dead." " Oh, shit." " The phone." "Perhaps they haven't paid the bill." " I'm going down the village." " That's impossible, to reach the village, across the moors." " Where the police station?" " In the village." " Well." "Where's the nearest telephone box?" " In the village." " Well ..." "Sydney!" " Don't worry, mate, we'll use the AA box." " Ah, that's more like it." " Where is it, Sydney?" " In the village." " What are we going to do?" " There's only one thing we can do." "Wait." "If he thinks I'm thinking I'm going to stay here and end up in a deckchair on the lawn, he's got another think coming, how do you think." "I've had my summer holidays." "I can't spend the night here." "I'd rather be sucked down in the mire." "You've been in the mire for years, mate." "It won't stop me from going home, Sydney." "I really must insist on your staying here tonight, Mr Ernest." " Why?" " Because if, and I say if..." "Doctor Edward's murderer was one of us, then it would be most unwise to allow a possible suspect to escape." " So I'm a chief suspect now, am I?" " Not necessarily." "If you'll allow to take my advice, you retire to your own rooms and lock yourself in." " I'll see you to your room, Miss Emily." " Thank you." "How kind of you." "I haven't seen Edward." " Ernest!" "I haven't forgotten about Bernard Shaw." " Neither have I, auntie." " Good night." " Oh my aunt." " Good night." " Nighty-night." "May I suggest you stop that appalling cacophony." "That's right major, pack up the joanna and get upstairs on the organ." " I'll see that Fisk bolts the door." " That's a good idea." "If I'm going to stay here, I'll make certain no one breaks in." "Or out." "Hey, look, Syd." "Every horror book I've ever read is based on him." " Yeah, your lovely boy." "He looks bonkers enough to be one of the family." " I see, you've studied us very well, Mr. Butler." "Come on, I've had enough of your family for one night." "Nighty-nighty, pleasant dreams." "It's only the start of it." " There'll be another one yet." " Alright, laughing boy." "Mark my words." " Wish I was back in the flat reading The Case of the Battered Blonde." " Well, you wait." " And it's a pity 'cause I'll wager 6/4 on it." " On what?" " That you're next." "Sleep well." " Oh, I say!" "Your room's comfortable." " Yes isn't it." " Would you like me to stay so I could tell you a story?" " No, I wouldn't." "You hop along to your room." "And when you get there ... if you get there, lock your door and don't open it to anybody but me." " How will I know it's you?" " I'll burst into song." " What song?" " Do you know you begin to get on my nerves?" " No, but if you hum it over I can remember the tune." " Go to your room!" "I say, what are you doing in my room?" "This is not your room." "I mean that's not your luggage, is it?" "Oh blimey, no." "And that's not my bed either." "Cor!" "I must have got lost." "I'm sorry, I'll push off." " Miss, you don't have known where my bedroom is, do you?" " No, I'm afraid I don't." " I'm sorry, I ..." "I'll go now." " No, hang on, turn your back a minute." " Ah, ju ... just a minute, Miss." " Ah, you're sweet." "A handsome face isn't everything, you know." "All that glitters is not gold." "You can turn round now." "Very provoking." "Well, ah ..." "I suppose you must be rather scared with the ... all the things that being going on here tonight." " Oh, not really." " Well, I am." "Look, I have an idea." "Yes, I've got one or two myself." "Come and sit here." "Come on." " I have a proposal to make." " Oh!" "Why don't you stay here tonight." "I don't fancy spending the night alone." "And we'd be company for each other." "Yes, that's quite a good plan, Miss, but ... well ah ..." "We, eh, don't know each other really very well." "I'll be quite alright in the... chair." "Sydney, help, help!" " Coming!" "You hang on!" " Get ..." "Get of me!" "Get off me." "Let..." " It's marvellous, isn't it." "I can't leave you alone for five minutes." " What happened?" "I saw the shadow of this thing on the wall and ... thought it was the murderer." " Coming to attack Linda." " Oh, that imagination of yours." " You'd have been safer back in my room." "Back..." " Oh, you've been playing Romeo as well as Goliath?" " Everything alright?" " Devil of a row." " He thought the suit of armour near him was the murderer." " Silly isn't it?" " Yeah!" "Very comical." "Well, er..." "Come on." "Goodnight Linda." "I'm..." "very sorry for disturbing you all." "Goodnight Ernie and thank you for trying to protect me." "You're sweet." " Some fellows have got it and some fellows go on." " Well, if you've got it, mate, then where are you hiding it?" "Well, you seem to have found your knight in shining armour." " He's a pet." " Yes." " Shall I see you to your room." " You needn't bother." " Well, no trouble at all." "I must try and act the gentleman." " Nothing there." " Is that it?" " No Santa Claus?" " Better safe than sorry, Syd." "That's a funny place to keep it." " Good night." " Ah, come on." "You're not ready for bed yet?" " I am." "Hey you..." "Syd!" "Spend the night with me, will you?" "I don't want to wake up in the morning and find something on..." " Alright." " Thank you Syd." "Here you are, Sydney." "These are for you." "I'm not wearing that." "Oh look, Syd." "As you lost your luggage, allow me." "A present." "My pyjamas." "Cor blimey." "Right." "I'll sleep over this side, and you over there." " These things, they can keep me awake for a start." " Oh, no, I don't think so, Sydney." "I think they look very chic." " Been a nice day, Sydney." " Good night." " Sydney!" " Oh, what is it?" " Sydney please." " Oh!" "For crying out loud!" "What do you want?" " Light the candle, Syd." "I can't sleep in the dark." " Not in this place." " Oh, damn you." "I'll..." " Oh, Sydney, no, please." "Look, if you blow the candle out, I'll have to sing or talk or walk up and down or something, Syd." " I can't sleep in the dark." " Suit yourself." " Damn you!" " Yes?" " Why do I have to get lumbered with you?" "I don't know, Syd." "It's ... just one of those remarkable things of life, I suppose." "Don't know how they happen." "You're just one of the lucky one, I suppose." " Thank you." "Leave it." "I'll have some fresh air." "Oh, I'll see." " Come here..." " Sydney?" " What shall we talk about, Sydney?" " Nothing." "Sorry, Syd." " You've got such a funny face." " Have I?" " Yeah." "You know, such a..." "Well, a clown face, as you know, very homely, but very humorous, funny." " Really?" " Yeah." " Do me a favour." " Ah, of course I will." " Shut up!" "Sydney, please!" "You must learn to control yourself." "You frightened the life out of me, then." "Good night, Noddy!" "Good night..." "Big Ears." "Is that you, Ernest?" " Now what's wrong?" " I heard a squeak." " Ah, go to sleep." "Oh, give over, Ernie, go to sleep." " I am trying to." " Well keep still then." "Hey, Syd." " Did you take your boots off?" " What are you talking about?" " Have you taken them off?" " Of course I've taken them off." " Shocking swelling on your toe, then." " I pity the woman who marries you." " She won't come to bed with her boots on." " Well, she's be better if she did." "Now belt up!" "Yes?" " What d'you want, Syd?" " I want to go to sleep." " Well, stop nudging me then." " Oh blimey!" "I'll nudge you in a minute." " Give over, Syd." "Stop it." " Over?" "I've told you mate, I'm tired." "Do you mind?" "You started it." "Thought you wanted to play our fight game." " Oh Ernie, turn it up." " Well I..." "Wasn't my fault." " Syd?" " Yes?" " I want to go." " We're going tomorrow morning." "Not that sort of ... go, Syd." "Cor blimey!" "What d'you want me to do, hold your hand?" "Here." "Awfully dark out here, Sydney." "That you, Ernie?" "Always knew I should have kept up my piano lessons." "Ooh, lovely." "Perhaps you'll give me a few piano lessons in London." "I'll give you my address." "You slipped up there Malcolm." "You wouldn't be tense like that." "You've got to... relax." "Like that Malcolm, you see." "Now go." "Malcolm!" "..." "S-Sydney!" "..." "Sydney!" "Coming, Ernie!" "Coming, Ernie." "Ernie!" "Where are you?" " Ernie!" " What?" " Who did that?" " I don't know." " Don't touch anything." " I wasn't going to." "But I think, a little reverence might not be out of place." "The door was locked on the inside." "Well..." "Wasn't it?" " Yes." " Well?" "Well what?" " I'm sure you don't think that I did..." " What else can we think." " He couldn't do the thing like that." "I know him." " You may but we do not." "I am not entirely convinced that your friend is the fool he makes himself out to be." "Oh yes, I am." " Look mate." "I don't care what you think." " The window was locked on the inside too." "Well, it's all circum..." " You must have seen something." "Who did it?" " No, Syd." " We were ... we were playing chopsticks." "And when it happened..." " I think we better secure him in here until the morning." " Syd." " Don't worry, mate, I'll stay here with you." " D'you think that's wise?" " Don't tell me what to do." " As you wish." " It's very much your funeral." "If you know what I mean." "Thank you." " Miss Dickson." " You want to watch out for him." " While I'm locked up in here, he'll be knocking off the whole family." " I'm perfectly harmless, I assure you." " It'll be alright." " Of course it will and we'll be the safest of the lot locked up in here." "Mr Guy." "Miss Dickson." "I hope we have a restful night." " What are we going to do?" " I don't know, mate." "There must have been somebody else in here with you." " There was." " Ah!" "Who?" " Him." " Oh, turn it up!" "Somebody else." "The murderer!" "How could there have been, Syd?" " How could he have got out with the door locked on the inside?" " Then..." "And the windows locked too." " I think I've got it, Sydney." " Yeah?" " All these panels on the wall." " Yeah?" " It was that book, erm..." " "Blood on My Cauliflower"." "It had a secret panel." " Oh, stop talking a lot of nonsense." " OK." " Right." "Wait a minute, you could be right." " I could?" " Yes." "You look there, I'll look at this one here." "I've got it here, mate, I've just heard an echo." "This one's hollow." "Listen." "Ernie!" " Get away from the wall." " There's something here." " Get away from the wall." " I'm only trying to help, Syd." "There must have been someone else in this room." "All of all I do:" "I reconstruct the crime." "Now ..." "I was sitting ... here... playing chopsticks." "Sorry Malc." "Sorry... mute." "Ernie!" "Find the panel yourself if you're so clever." "Here, Ernie, look what I've discovered..." "Ernie!" "What are you shouting about?" "..." "Sydney..." "Sydney..." " Sydney, where are you?" " Behind the mirror." " What are you doing behind there?" " Playing hide and seek." " Get me out!" " Yes." " Well, how?" " I don't know." "Wait a minute, there's a piece of chain here." " Ernie." " Yes." " Are you behind there now?" " Yes, There's a little cupboard." " Well, pull the chain." " We're onto something in here boy, come on." " Well, I'll not..." " I'd rather stay here, Syd." " Don't be silly." "We've got to sort this out tonight." "The family will have you hung, drawn and quartered by tomorrow." "Come on." "However, the rest of the night may remain undisturbed." "Now that Mr Ernest is locked away." "Locked away." "What, really?" "I had no idea." "Poor boy!" "It's ridiculous, he wouldn't hurt a fly." "The young man's attitude towards insect life does not concern us, Miss Dickson." "I think it's most inconsiderate of Edward and Malcolm to leave without saying goodbye to me." "Well, I think, I should go to my room." "Termites?" "Ernie, come here!" "It's a regular maze, this house." "How did you get behind there?" "The same way that the murderer did." " There's a secret passage and a stairway leading up to the organ room." " Well, wonders will never cease." "Looks, there we might have made a mistake about young Ernest." "We certainly did." "This would rather do more complex our matters." "I suggest we all remain here for the rest of the night." " Ah!" "Keep an eye on each other, eh?" " I'm going to bed, Mr. Sloane." " I wouldn't, Aunt Emily." " There's a killer on the loose." " Killer?" "Ah-ha-ha!" "Silly boy." " You've been reading far too many novels." " Aunt Emily!" " For once in your life, face reality." " Reality, dear?" " Don't you realise what's happening ..." " while you are daydreaming..." " Janet, I may have to speak to your father." " Father is dead!" " Malcolm's dead." "Do you understand?" " Janet!" "They've been murdered, murdered by one of us." " And we're doing nothing." " Janet, you're making an exhibition of yourself." " Am I?" "You're taking it very calmly." "You never liked father, did you, nor Malcolm, nor his music." " Hardly a sound basis for murder." " No!" "Hang on." "Hang on." "There's no use squabbling." "Now look, the police will be here tomorrow morning." "If we stick together, we're safe." " We'll never get away from here." " Hey look." "Together we're as safe as houses." "Isn't that so Syd?" "Even the floor might open up." "Any one of us could be the next..." "Janet!" " Janet!" " Too late." "Curare." "The pygmy poison." "She turned towards the door." " She touched her neck." " Quite right, so she did." "Fisk!" "Fisk!" "Have you left the kitchen in the last five minutes?" " He's lying, it must be him." " I think not." "Fisk hasn't left that chair for a good five minutes." " How do you know?" " His cigarette." "He could hardly have moved without disturbing that ash." "That's a very convincing alibi." " I remember a similar circumstance... now... where..." "It was "The Case of Ash on My Petticoat"." " Belt up." "Come on." " Trying to bump off the whole family." " Trying?" "Not making a bad job of it." " Don't worry." "They're leaving you till last." " Where's Janet?" " She's gone." "Emily!" "It looks as though she's..." "Emily!" "Emily, where is she?" " I've had such a nice chat." " Who with?" " Gabriel." " Aunt Emily, Uncle Gabriel's dead." " Nonsense." "We've just been talking." " Could it be Gabriel?" " Miss Dickson." "Who signed Gabriel's death certificate?" " Dr Edward." " Yes, and he was the first to be killed." "If Gabriel's death was faked..." "Gabriel's coffin." "The family vault." "Well, Ernest, Linda..." "Take Aunt Emily up to her bedroom and stay with her." " Mr. Butler, will you come with me to the vault?" " Alright mate." "Come on, Aunt Emily." "Let's open up." "There he is." " Well mate." "There's no one else knocking about." " Then the murderer must be one of us." " Are you sure you really need the sleeping pills, Aunt Emily?" " Of course, after all the excitement." "I remember." " I left them in my reticule." " Your what?" "Reticule, knitting bag." "Downstairs in the lounge." "Downstairs?" "Don't really like leaving you like this alone." "Don't worry, Ernest." "I'll stay here with Aunt Emily." "Thank you." "Oh, Aunt Emily?" "You sure you wouldn't rather have a curiously strong peppermint?" "Yes, well, ah..." "I just..." "go downstairs and ... get them." "Don't go away." "I'll be back." "I hope." " Here we go again." " Ernest." "Ernie!" " Blimey, they've got him." " Ernest!" " Seen him." " Seen who?" "Uncle Gabriel." " Laughing his blooming head off." " Gabriel?" "Never!" "We just saw him, mate and he's dead, very dead." "Well, it looked ..." "like Uncle Gabriel... to me." " He's a Broughton too you know." " Not him, he's not like the others." " Sloane, where is he?" " He's gone." " Oh, I wish he'd stop creeping about like that." " Where's he gone?" "He's trying to get to the village." "For the police..." "Your sandwiches." " What d'you think?" " I don't know." "It was Sloane who was against anyone leaving." "Oh yes, but to be gone to cross over those moors by himself, he's a very brave boy." "If he has gone." " Hey, you're alright, mate?" " Ooh, my head." " You go up the stairs, I'll go this way." " Right." "And you two go up to Aunt Emily's room." "Aunt Emily, she's all alone." "Where are you all going?" "Hey!" "What about me?" "Oh, not again." "You'll never know, pal." "I think there's something frightfully odd going on around here, ah?" "We know something." "Soon the whole Broughton family will be knocked off." "And then the outsiders, who'll start to go." " You're drinking yourself to death, mate." " What a lovely way to go." " Syd!" "He's gone." " Who's gone?" " Uncle Gabriel's gone." " His coffin's empty." " What are you talking about?" " Uncle Gabriel's body's gone, I tell you." "It's Burke and Hare all over again." " The only burk round here, mate, is you." " Hey, Sydney." "This is no time for levity." " Well, we better go and see." "Thank you Syd." "Syd, what did I tell you." "Look." " Honest mate." "It ... it was empty when I looked." " Alright." "Alright." "You know something, he may not be bonkers." "Malcolm." "Then Gabriel is alive." "And he's a homicidal maniac." "I sent Ernest for them and I haven't seen him since." "I do hope he hasn't taken them." "What's happened?" "What's happened?" " Well..." "The outsider's come in at 100-1." " What?" " Uncle Gabriel." " What d'you mean?" " Uncle Gabriel." "He's not dead." "He's alive... and killing." "He's knocking off the family, one by one." "Guy..." "Guy's gun." "Come on!" "Guy, have you got your gun?" " Aunt Emily, where's Guy?" " Really..." "He was..." "Oh, he must have gone to bed." "He couldn't have." "We were just outside..." "If Gabriel's got Guy, he's got Guy's gun." "What are we going to do?" "I know what I'm going to do." "I'm going to stay put until the police arrive." " That's not right, mate." "I'm going to keep on looking about." "It's safer." " What d'you mean safer." " Well, you don't want to be a sitting duck, do you?" " Get on the move boy." " Yeah." "I see what you mean." "Quick, Linda." " Wait, mate." "It didn't help Janet at all, she was hopping up all over the place." " Yes, but she was standing still when she got it." " Yeah." " What are you doing with those chairs?" " I'm making a barricade against any more poison darts." " Come on, Linda." "You'll be safer in there with me." " You've gone raving bonkers." " He's probably blown embrasures in the ceiling." "He's very likely up there now, looking right there at you." " Yeah, alright." " Aunt Emily, come on, come walking with us." " On a night like this?" "Oh, silly boy." "Don't worry, buddy, she's got a charmed life." " Hello Fiskie, make it quickly, come on, join us, it's safer." " It's too late, Sir." " Whatever will be will be." " This is a fine time to go spat with Shakespeare." " There's danger here." " That's the understatement of the evening." " Do you want some coffee?" " Yes." " I can hear bells." " Well, go and answer it then." " What, me?" " Alright." "Then come and stick close to me." "Good evening." "Arkwright." "Inspector Arkwright." "I got here as fast as I could." "I never thought I'd be so pleased to see the police." "This way, Inspector." "Ernie!" "Good evening, madam." "I couldn't get much of Mr Sloane." "He said that it was imperative that I get here as soon as possible." " He wasn't kidding." " I don't approve of the police." "They were very rude to my sister when she'd recently chained herself to the railing of St James' Palace." " Go away." " Aunt ..." "Auntie ..." " Where is Sloane?" " I've left him back in the village, he'd er... sprained his ankle." "Hey, it's a wonder he got through at all." "I had to leave my driver there outside at the marshes." "Well..." "What's it all about?" " It better be worth my while." " O-oh, it will be." " Well, now..." " Who's the owner of the house?" " Mr Gabriel Broughton, but I'm afraid he's dead, Inspector." " Oh!" "Well, that isn't certain." "He was, but he isn't now." " If you see what I mean?" " Eh, no I do not." "Perhaps you'll tell me what exactly has occurred." " Inspector, there's a dangerous murderer somewhere in the house." " Dangerous..." " Who's been murdered?" " Doctor Edward, Janet, Malcolm." " Doctor Edward, Janet, Malcolm." "Where's the body?" " Body!" "Bodies." "There's three of them." " Three?" " Edward Broughton, Janet Broughton and Malcolm Broughton." "Probably Guy as well." " Guy?" " Don't be silly, dears." "No one's been murdered." "They've gone home." " Miss Emily!" "They haven't gone home." " Eh, just a moment, just a moment." "If I may see the bodies." " Somebody's pinched them." " Pinched them?" "Yes, the owner of this house, Gabriel Broughton, who is dead." " And may not be." " No he isn't." "I've seen him." " Eh-eh, let me get this straight." "You maintain that three persons have been murdered." " Four..." " Ernie?" " Don't forget Guy." "Four persons have been murdered." " They were killed by someone who's dead, but..." " And won't lay down." "And the lady here maintains they were... gone home." "Inspector..." " The lady's a little bit..." " And you're not?" "I feel more entitled believe the lady." " Inspector!" "It's hard to believe." " Oh, not at all!" " And we know that Gabriel faked his death, lured the family here and is murdering them one by one." " Oh, one by one." "But there are no bodies." " Well, with the except." "Guy, he, he's gone." "Janet, she's gone." "Well mate, Dr Edward in the potting shed." " He's gone too, I checked." " Oh!" " Wait a bit." "Malcolm!" " I am sure that he's gone too." " Ma..." "Malcolm is in Gabriel's coffin." " It's confusing, isn't it." " Oh, yeah!" " You come with me." "I'll show you." " Hey, you stay here with Linda and Aunt Emily." " Why do I always stay with the women?" "Because somebody has got to look after you." "Come on, mate, er, Inspector." "Here we are, Inspector." "And that's Gabriel's coffin out of there, but inside it, it's Malcolm." "I'm getting a little tired of this." "I'll see to it." " What is it?" " Well, ah..." "I just... came to get myself a drink and I..." "Well, look." "Guy always did drink too much." " Well, he won't drink any more." " And a good thing too." " Go and get the other gentleman." "Take this." " Right." " Where is he?" " In the graveyard." " Oh blimey." " And hurry." "Well..." "We've got one body." " Syd..." "Syd..." "I've found him." " Who?" " Guy." "He's in a cocktail cabinet." " Cor, blimey, that bloke's got a thirst." " He's dead." " Come on." "Good evening Mr. Sloane." " How did you manage to get back from the village?" "..." "Sydney!" " Yeah." "That's Sloane." "The inspector said he was in the village with a sprained ankle." "He's sprained more than his ankle, Syd." "He couldn't have even got to the village." " But how did the inspector manage?" " Never mind how..." "Inspector..." "Who's the inspector?" " Fiskie." "Where's the inspector?" " Inspector?" "I don't know." " But you must know." "Where's Linda?" "There was nobody here when I came in." "Just this mess to clear up." " Look, he's taken Guy as well." " Oh, never mind about him, he's dead already." " The book case." " Yeah." "Wait, there, it could be this one." "It is, look." "Aunt Emily's wool." " Does this one open as well?" " Yeah." " Well, how do you open it?" " Like that." " Look, hold it, Syd." "I fell down there somewhere ..." "That's it." " Blimey." " This is the hole." " Where does it lead to?" " Down to the vaults." "It must be around here somewhere." "Hi!" "Good evening gentlemen." "This way gentlemen." "Shall we join the ladies?" " Here they are, Ernie." " Ernie!" " Linda!" "Aunt Emily!" "Who the devil are you?" " Gabriel!" " Yes, Gabriel." "Up to your pranks again." "Nutty as a fruit cake." "No, no my friend." "Very much the reverse." "A very clever brain was needed to evolve such a plan." "Luring each member of the ..." "avaricious Broughtons up here." "For years they've sponged off me." "Edward, Guy, Janet, Malcolm." "And in return, what did they do?" " I give up." "You tell us." " They treated me like an eccentric old fogey." "Me, eccentric!" " Oh, it's ridiculous." " Hey, certainly." "Well, lad." "Gabe, it's been very nice meeting you." "Well..." " We'll be shoving off then." " Get back against the wall." "You will be shoving off very soon, I assure you." " Uncle Gabriel..." "What are you going to do?" " With you?" "And ... the rest of us." "We're very interested too." "I propose to leave you to your fate." "Oh!" "Blimey, we're going to the dogs." "The poor beasts haven't been fed for ten days." "Starving they are..." "Yes..." "Your departure from this life..." "will be neither swift nor pleasant." "I wouldn't do that, Sir." " Hey look." "They like us." " They really do." " They don't look hungry to me." " Hey, come on." "We better get out of here." " Get on to Gabriel before he does any more damage." "Hey, forward!" " Linda, look." " Do give us a hand." "Will you see if Aunt Emily's got a secret panel." "The... the walls I mean." "I'll see where's the window." " Excuse me." " Yes, you're friendly enough now." "But what might you be in a couple of days if we don't get out of here." " And we'll be with no air to breathe." "Aah, me dear little doggies." " What d'you mean, your little doggies?" " I've been feeding them for days." "The late master was very cruel to them." " Late master?" "Uncle Gabriel?" "He's dead." "The chandelier dropped on him." " It what?" "What happened to him?" " Well, he aimed a gun at me..." "You could never tell what Gabriel will get up to next." "Always the life and soul of the party." " Excuse me." "Allow me." " Oh, thanks, Ernie." "I've fixed everything." "Syd and Aunt Emily are travelling together and ... you and me are travelling together." "Oh, that would be nice, Ernie, but ... someone's collecting me." " Oh..." "Your Dad?" " No." " Relative?" " No, boyfriend." " Oh!" "Well..." "That's the way it should be, you know, I suppose." "What's he like?" "Me?" "Tall, dark and handsome." " Hello baby." " Darling!" "..." "Oh!" " Hi Linda, love." " It's a bit of a drag, isn't it?" "Come on, love, let's go." " Oh, my case, sorry." " Oh, hey." " Morning!" " Morning!" " Be good." "Goodbye Ernest." "She loves you, mate." "Like a brother." "I've got five sisters already." "Ah, turn it up, Ernie." "Blimey." "What are you worrying about?" "A bloke with a mush like that." "He couldn't even make a living." " Get the case!" " It's upstairs." " Get it then!" " In a moment, Syd." "Oh!" "Ha-ha-ha-ha." "So that's where you've been." "Is it... that you were prowling in another waters." "Scat." "Up." "Move..." "Get up, away." "Hello Syd." "Pull out all the stops." "Come on, Syd!" "Subtitles by:" "Vitaly (vipo) (Leningrad (USSR)" "Gush Dan (Israel))." "Editing program: "Subtitle Edit"."