"You see the symbolism of it?" "Capital and labour destroy each other." "It teaches a lesson, a moral lesson." "It has social significance." "Who wants to see that kind of stuff?" "It gives me the creeps." "Tell him how long it played in the music hall." "It was held over a fifth week." "Who goes to the music hall?" "Communists!" "Communists?" "This picture's an answer to communists." "It shows we're awake and not dunking our heads in the sand." "I want this picture to be a commentary on modern conditions, stark realism, the problems that confront the average man." " But with a little sex." " A little, but I don't want to stress it." "I want this picture to be a document, I want to hold a mirror up to life." "I want this to be a picture of dignity, a true canvas of the suffering of humanity." " But with a little sex." " With a little sex in it." "How about a nice musical?" "How can you talk about musicals at a time like this, with the world committing suicide, with corpses piling up in the street, with grim death goggling at you from every corner," " with people slaughtered like sheep!" " Maybe they'd like to forget that." "Then why did they hold this one over for a fifth week at the music hall?" " It died in Pittsburgh." " Like a dog." " What do they know in Pittsburgh?" " They know what they like." "If they knew what they liked, they wouldn't live in Pittsburgh." "If you pander to the public, you'd still be in the horse age." " Look at Hopalong Cassidy!" " You look at him!" "We'd still be making Keystone chases, bathing beauties, custard pies..." " And a fortune." " A fortune!" "Of course I'm just a minor employee here, Mr LeBrand." "He's starting that one again." "I wanted to make you something outstanding, something you could be proud of, something that would realise the potentialities of film as the sociological and artistic medium that it is, with a little sex in it." "Something like..." "Something like Capra." "I know." " What's the matter with Capra?" " Look..." "You wanna make O Brother, Where Art Thou?" "Then go ahead and make it." "I can't afford to argue." "That's a fine way to start a man on a million-dollar production." "You want it, you've got it." "I can take it on the chin." "I've taken it before." " Not from me, you haven't." " Not from you, Sully, that's true." "Not with pictures like Hey-Hey In The Hay Loft," "Ants In Your Plants of 1939, but they weren't about tramps, lockouts, sweatshops, people eating garbage in alleys and living in piano boxes and ash cans..." "And phooey." "They were about clean young people in love, with laughter, music and legs." "But you don't realise conditions have changed." "There isn't any work, there isn't any food, these are troublous times." " What do you know about trouble?" " What do I know about trouble?" "What do you mean?" "Just what I'm saying." "You want to make a picture about garbage cans." "What do you know about garbage cans?" "When'd you eat your last meal out of one?" " What's that got to do with it?" " He's asking you." "You want an epic about misery." "You want to show hungry people sleeping in doorways." " With newspapers around them!" " You want 10,000 feet of hard luck." "And all I'm asking you is, "What do you know about hard luck?"" "What do you mean?" " Don't you think I've?" " No." "You have not." "I sold newspapers till I was 20." "Then I worked in a shoe store and put myself through law school at night." " Where were you at 20?" " I was in college." "When I was 13, I supported three sisters, two brothers and a widowed mother." " Where were you at 13?" " I was in boarding school." "I'm sorry." "Well, you don't have to be ashamed of it, Sully." "That's why your pictures are so light, so cheerful, so inspiring." " They don't stink with messages." " That's why I paid you 500 a week at 24." " 750 at 25." " 1,000 at 26." " When I was 26, I was getting 18." " 2,000 at 27." " I was getting 25 then." " 3,000 after Thanks For Yesterday." " 4,000 after Ants In Your Plants." " So I don't know what trouble is?" " Yes." " You're absolutely right." "I haven't any idea what it is." "People always like what they don't know anything about." "Certainly had a lot of nerve wanting to make a picture about human suffering." "You're a gentleman to admit it, Sully." "But then you are anyway." "How about making Ants In Your Plants of 1941?" " You can have Bob Hope, Mary Martin..." " Maybe Bing Crosby." " The Abbott Dancers." " Jack Benny and Rochester." " A big-name band." " What?" "Oh, no." "I wanna make O Brother, Where Art Thou?" "And I'll tell you what I'm gonna do first." "I'm going down to wardrobe and get some old clothes, some old shoes, and I'm gonna start out with ten cents in my pocket." " Huh?" " I don't know where I'm going, but I'm not coming back till I know what trouble is." " What?" " Don't worry, you can take me off salary." "Who's talking about taking you off salary?" " So long." "And thanks for the idea." " Wait!" "Don't be so impulsive!" " When will you be back?" " Maybe a week, a month, a year." "Don't worry about me." "Thanks, Dracula, you gave me a great idea." "I gave you?" "Now look what you've done." " What I've done?" " With your lies about selling newspapers." "I sold as many newspapers as you supported a family at 13." " I opened a shooting gallery." " With money you got from your uncle." " We'd better insure him for a million." " He's worth more." " The bonehead!" " Yes, but what a genius." "Get me a copy of O Brother, Where Art Thou?" "I guess I'll have to read it now." "Make that two copies." "Why should I suffer alone?" " How's this?" " Isn't that overdoing it a bit, sir?" "Why break their hearts?" "All right, let's try that one again." "I think this one's sufficiently seedy, sir." "There's no use overplaying it, is there, sir?" "Yes?" " Your wife is on one, sir." " What does she want?" "I suspect it's to do with today's being the 15th." "Payday." "All right, put her on." "You may connect, Mrs Sullivan." "Yes?" "You don't happen to remember what day this is, do you, dear?" "Yes, I happen to remember what day it is." "No, I haven't forgotten anything." "Have you?" "Well, perhaps I could be more polite, Mrs Sullivan, but somehow when I talk to you I don't feel polite." "I regret it but that's the way it is." "I don't know whether I signed it or not." "I always close my eyes when I sign your cheque." "Maybe I signed the blotter." "You made out the panther woman's cheque yet?" "You'd better get it down to her before she comes up here with the sheriff." "She has a very peculiar sense of humour." " Good morning, sir." " Morning, Burrows." "How do you like it?" "I don't like it at all, sir." "Fancy dress, I take it?" "What's the matter with it?" "I have never been sympathetic to the caricaturing of the poor and needy." " Who's caricaturing?" " He doesn't know about the expedition." "I'm going on the road to find out what it's like to be poor and then I'm gonna make a picture about it." "If you permit me to say so, sir, the subject is not an interesting one." "The poor know all about poverty, and only the morbid rich would find the topic glamorous." " But I'm doing it for the poor." " I doubt if they would appreciate it, sir." "They rather resent the invasion of their privacy, I believe." "Also, such excursions can be extremely dangerous, sir." "I worked for a gentleman once who likewise with two friends accoutred themselves as you have, sir, and went out for a lark." "They have not been heard from since." " That was some time ago." " 1912, sir." " Uh-huh." " You see, sir, rich people and theorists - who are usually rich people - think of poverty in the negative, as the lack of riches, as disease might be called the lack of health." "But it isn't, sir." "Poverty is not the lack of anything, but a positive plague, virulent in itself, contagious as cholera, with filth, criminality, vice and despair as only a few of its symptoms." "It is to be stayed away from, even for purposes of study." "It is to be shunned." "You seem to have made quite a study of it." "Quite unwillingly, sir." "Will that be all, sir?" " Thanks." " Very good, sir." "He gets a little bit gruesome every once in a while." "Always reading books, sir." " Oh." " As a matter of fact, sir," "I don't like the idea of a gentleman of your inexperience leaving with only ten cents in his pockets." "So I took the extreme liberty, sir, of having a studio identification card sewn into the soles of each of your boots." "You'd think I was a child or something." "The whole purpose of this expedition..." "All right, all right." "Before you all get started, I just want to tell you one thing - my mind is made up." " Nobody's here to argue with you, Sully." " I know." "We talked it all over, and there's something to the idea." " There's a great deal to it." " It's stupendous." "Cassy has it worked out." "It's safe as a church, big as a cathedral." "Bigger!" "It's the story of the year, Sully." "It'll make every front page." " I'm sending five of my boys..." " With me in charge." "And agents in front and behind." " I want lots of eight by tens." " Now, listen..." "Revamping that lovely land yacht that De Mille used." " It follows you at a discreet distance..." " Hot coffee, sandwiches and a bar." "It's connected to the studio by short wave, and it also carries a hot shower and a secretary." " And a physician." "Look, I'm trying to find trouble, but I won't find it with six acts of vaudeville on my tail, at least not the kind I'm looking for." " Be reasonable, Sully." " I'm reupholstering it." " What do you say?" " I tell you I've made up my mind." " Definitely?" " Definitely!" "In that case there's nothing else to do but serve you with this little summons to show cause why you should not be restrained from jeopardising your unique and extraordinary services" " by wilfully, recklessly..." " Will you please wait a minute!" "We have all day, Sully." "But you must realise we also have minds, also made up." "Thus begins this remarkable expedition into the valley of the shadow of adversity." "The shadow of the what?" "The valley of the shadow of adversity." "It's what you call a paraphrase." " Alone and unattended." " With eight stooges." "I'll write the story, if it's just the same to you." "Prey to passing prowlers, poverty and policemen." " How poetic." " With only ten cents in his pocket." "I wish I had what he's got in the bank." "John Lloyd Sullivan, the caliph of comedy departed Hollywood at four o'clock this morning." "Can I serve you another stack, Doctor?" "Get me some bicarbonate of soda and don't call me Doctor." "He was talking to me, I think." "No, thank you." "You say you don't want no bicarbonate of soda, Doctor?" " Don't call me Doctor." " No, I don't want any bicarbonate of soda." " I thought you said you did." " Well, he don't." " This pace is very depressing." " So was the breakfast." "Why doesn't he read a book if he wants to learn something?" " Who, the cook?" "He could learn plenty." " No, Sullivan." " Maybe he don't know how to read." " The cook?" "No, the..." "This is gonna be a great trip." "Sorry, I must have the wrong number." "That was the lighthouse keeper on San Clemente Island." "Ask him what his daughter's doing." "I said the lighthouse keeper on San Clemente Island." " How about a little gin rummy?" " I don't drink, thank you, never touch it." " How about a lift?" " If you don't mind going fast." "I'm studying to be a whippet tanker." " Go to it, Lieutenant!" " Get in, General!" " Can a whippet tank make a sharp turn?" " What?" " Can a whippet tank go up a side road?" " A whippet tank can go anywhere!" "Hang on." "Thank you, Major." " This is where I get out." " She's some tank, ain't she?" "In a class by herself." "I never felt anything like it." "Well, I guess I'd better be getting to school now anyway." "Yeah, I guess you better had." "Drive carefully." "You know me." " By the way, how old are you?" " 13." "So long." "What a future." " What were you chasing?" "A jackrabbit?" " Felt more like a kangaroo." "There he is." " Well, how'd you like it?" " That was a dirty trick, boss." "Look, that was just a rough idea unless you play ball with me." "I can't do what I started out to do with you guys chasing me around, so I'll make you a fair proposition." "You go on wherever you like and take it easy for a couple of weeks and I'll join you then or sooner." "If the boss wants to talk to me," "I'm just up ahead mooching lunch from a farmer's wife." "Now is that a square proposition or isn't it?" " I always wanted to go to Boulder Dam." " You're there." " If you think I'm gonna look at a dam..." " How about National Yellow Park?" "That goes double for National Yellow Park." "Now, if you'd said Las Vegas..." "What do they do in Las Vegas?" "Everything, Doctor." "It's an education." "All right, I'll meet you in Las Vegas on or about the 1 st." "And thanks, kids." "Thanks sincerely." "Yoo-hoo!" " Yes, ma'am?" " Don't get too tired." "Yes, ma'am." "First day's work." "You don't suppose you're overworking him, do you?" "I doubt it." "He seems very strong." " Did you notice his torso?" " I noticed that you noticed it." "Don't be vindictive, dear." "Some people are just naturally more sensitive to some things in life." "Some are blind to beauty, while others..." "Even as a girl you were of the acid type, while I, if you remember..." " I remember better than you do." " Forget it." "Furthermore, I have never done anything that I was ashamed of, Ursula." " Neither have I." " Yes, dear, but nobody ever asked you to." " Why, Zeffie..." " Now you've had your attack for the day, let's recapture our good humour and remember our breeding." " Baloney." " Yes." "Oh, I do hope he'll like it here - it's so hard to keep a man." " Do you know what I need?" " Yes." "I need a permanent." "I was thinking of taking in a picture show, which brings up the problem of clothes for the young man." "It certainly does." "Do you think dear Joseph would mind if we gave him some of the clothes he has so little need for now?" "Well, he's never minded before." " Sleep tight." " Yes, ma'am." " And don't let the skeeters bite." " Yes, ma'am." "You're sure you have everything you want?" " Absolutely sure?" " Positive." " Oh, but your bed isn't open." " That's all right." "I'll take care of that." "Oh, nonsense." "That's woman's work." "♪ For men must work and women must weep ♪" "Or however it goes." "Ah..." " There." "Would you like a hot-water bottle?" " No, ma'am." " Oh, you haven't any PJs." " I never use 'em." " Joseph wore a nightgown." " Is that a fact?" " Well, I guess there's nothing else." " I guess not." "Oh, I'll let you know as soon as the bathroom is free." " It's, er, community." " Ah..." " Well, er... good night." " Good night." " Do you think he'll stay?" " I do, do hope so." "Who is it?" "Hey." "Could you give me a lift?" "I'm freezing to death." " What'd you fall into?" " Everything there was." "OK, hop in the back." "There." "Drape this around you." " Thanks a m-million, b-b-buddy." " OK." "Come on, buddy, wake up." "This is as far as I go." " Huh?" "What?" "Who are you?" " Come on, wake up!" "I don't want the boss to see you." "I ain't supposed to give no lifts." "Thanks a lot." "Hey, what city is this?" " That's Hollywood." " Hollywood?" "You got a chance to see them picture stars." "Well, so long." " Good morning." " Morning." "Give me a cup of coffee and a doughnut, if that's enough for it." " Plain or with powdered sugar?" " With a little cream." " The sinker?" " Just any kind or some rolls, I don't care." "Yes, sir." " Give him some ham and eggs." " Yes, ma'am." "That's very kind of you, sister, but I'm not hungry." "Cup of coffee and a sinker'll fix me up fine." "Don't be a sucker." "Give him some ham and eggs." "Way I fix, 35 cents isn't gonna make any difference." " Here." " Thanks." "Things a little tough, huh?" "Wouldn't be sitting in an owl wagon for local colour." " They locked me out of my room." " That's too bad." "Things are tough everywhere - war in Europe, strikes over here," " there's no work, there's no food." " Drink your coffee while it's hot." " Why'd they lock you out of your room?" " Did I ask you any questions?" " I'm sorry." " That's all right." " You been in Hollywood long?" " Long enough." " Trying to crash the movies or something?" " Something like that." " I guess that's pretty hard to do." " I never got close enough to find out." " Oh, I'm sorry." " Who's being sorry for who?" "Am I buying you the eggs or are you buying me the eggs?" "I'd just like to repay you." "All right, give me a letter of introduction to Lubitsch." "I might be able to do that, too." "Who's Lubitsch?" "Drink your coffee." "What'd you say?" " I said, can you act?" " Sure." "Would you like a recitation?" " Go ahead." " Skip it." "My next act will be an impersonation of a young lady going home, from her thumb." " In that outfit?" " How about your own outfit?" " I mean, haven't you got a car?" " No." "Have you?" " No, but..." " Then don't get ritzy." "I'll tell you some other things I haven't got." "I haven't got a yacht, or a pearl necklace, or a fur coat, or a country seat, or even a winter seat." "I could use a new girdle too." "I wish I could give you some of the things you need." "You wouldn't be trying to lead me astray, would you?" "You know, the nice thing about buying food for a man is that you don't have to laugh at his jokes." "Just think." "If you were some big shot like a casting director" "I'd be staring into your bridgework saying," ""Yes, Mr Smearkase." "No, Mr Smearkase." ""Now really, Mr Smearkase!" ""Oh!" "Mr Smearkase, that's my knee."" "Give Mr Smearkase another cup of coffee." "Make it two." " Want a piece of pie?" " No thanks, kid." "Why, Mr Smearkase, aren't you getting a little familiar?" "Look..." "Thanks." "Look, if you want to stay in Hollywood a little longer..." "I don't want to stay in Hollywood a little longer." "I've used up all my money." "I have a friend that's out of town and you might be able to stay at his place for a couple of weeks." "Maybe by then, things'd break a little better for you." " Or he might even be able to help you." " No, thanks." "There's no strings to this, kid." "I know you don't know who I am, but..." "I used to know a few people around here." "This guy's really out of town." "And you know a way in through the window?" " No, I'm pretty sure he..." " I'm going home, big boy." "I can get a ride." "I don't like to think of you asking thugs for lifts along the highway." "Then don't think about it." "You mean you'd just get in any car that comes along?" "Anything but a Stanley Steamer - my uncle blew up in one." "That's terrible." "You can't tell what kind of a heel's behind the wheel." "All heels are pretty much the same." " Look..." " Yes, Mr Smearkase?" "This friend of mine - the guy that's out of town " "I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I borrowed his car." " What is it, a streetcar?" " It's a car." " You just wait here." " You're gonna get yourself in trouble." "I'm not, I'm just gonna repay you for the ham and eggs." "That isn't necessary, big boy." "Someday when your ship comes in, you can buy someone that's hungry some ham and eggs." "We'll be all square." "Just wait here and I'll be back before you can say..." " What was that big director's name?" " Lubitsch." "Lubitsch." " Say, this is some car." " Yes." "Where would you like to go?" "Oh, er..." "Could you drop me off at..." "Maybe that'd be too far." "That depends entirely on where it is." " Would Chicago be too far?" " Chicago?" " You mean Chicago, Illinois?" " Yes." "I wasn't actually thinking of driving as far as Chicago." "That's all right." "You can drop me anywhere." "I just happened to think of Chicago because that's a little better than halfway and I can easily hitch a ride out of there." "Where do you live?" "Bermuda?" "You don't have to get funny." "I didn't ask you for a ride." "Just drop me anywhere." "Now wait a minute." "How's this..." "Suppose you drop me off somewhere, and then you go leisurely home and I'll pick up the car later." "You don't happen to operate out of a booby hatch, do you?" "You'd better drop me off and take this bus back where you stole it from." "Don't talk nonsense, I left a note saying I was taking the car." "Or did I?" " Be nice if you could remember." " Would be funny if they arrested me." " Who does it belong to?" " Belongs to a picture director." " A guy named Sullivan." " Oh." " Never heard of him?" " No." "He's made quite a few pictures." "Ants In Your Plants of 1939." " Oh, did he do that?" " Yeah, did you see it?" " Yes." " Well?" "D'you like it?" " Not much." " Oh." "Some people thought it was pretty good." "I don't care for musicals, they hurt my ears." "Well, did you like Hey-Hey In The Hay Loft?" " Oh, I was crazy about that." " I thought that would just about fit." "Remember the scene where the two are in the hay loft and she made him close his eyes and count to three before kissing her?" "Then a pig came out and he kissed the pig instead." "It's on a very high plane." "Then he fell through a hole and sneezed at a horse." " And the horse sneezed back." " That was a wonderful scene." "It was stupid but it was wonderful." "Who directed that picture?" "Don't you think with the world in its present condition, with death snarling at you from every street corner, that people are a little allergic to comedies?" " No." " Perhaps I didn't make myself clear." "How come you know a picture director well enough to borrow his car?" "Well, as a matter of fact I used to know most those boys but naturally I don't like to mention it in a suit like this." "As a matter of fact, I used to be a picture director." " Why, you poor kid." " Don't get emotional." "I'll be all right." " What kind of pictures did you make?" " More along educational lines." "No wonder." "Nothing like a deep-dish movie to drive you out in the open." "What are you talking about?" "Film's the greatest educational medium the world has ever known." "You take a picture like Hold Back Tomorrow..." "You hold it." "Did you ever meet Lubitsch?" " Yes." " I bet he wouldn't speak to you now." " He spoke to me day before yesterday." " Isn't that swell?" "Funny." "You meet your first director on the day you leave Hollywood, all washed up." "Even a washed-up picture director." "Don't get sympathetic." "I might make a comeback, you know." "That's what they all say." "The man that had the room before me was always gonna make a comeback." "He was a picture director too." "Then one day he shot himself instead." "They had to repaper the room." "You would never do anything like that, would you, big boy?" "Not on your wallpaper." "What do you suppose that is?" "Well, whatever it is, there's absolutely nothing they can do." "Remember that." " What did you say?" " I said there's nothing they can do." " All right, you." " All right, yourself." "Don't give it a thought." "Well?" " Oh, good morning, sir." "I'm so sorry." " Good morning, sir." " Ever seen this man?" " That is Mr Sullivan, sir." " The owner of the alleged hot car." " Then what's all the hullabaloo?" "That's what I'd like to know." " Are you John L. Sullivan?" " What about it?" " What's your occupation?" " Motion picture director." " Is that right?" " Yes, sir." " Let me see your driver's licence." " I haven't got it." " D'you bring it?" " No, sir." " Driving without a licence?" " Yes, isn't that terrible?" "I suppose that calls for a dollar fine and ten minutes in jail." " You sure this is Sullivan?" " Oh, quite, sir." " What are you doing in those clothes?" " I've just paid my income tax." "All right." "But you don't drive that car without a licence." "OK." "Let the girl out too, she's getting bored in there." " How does the girl fit in this picture?" " There's always a girl in the picture." "Haven't you ever been to the movies?" "Where's he taking us now?" "Whose car is this?" "Same guy." "Sullivan." " Where's he taking us?" " To the depot to buy you a ticket home." "Stop fooling around." " Who's buying me a ticket?" " Sullivan." " What'd I ever do for him?" " You bought him some eggs." "Oh." "So you're the washed-up director." "I'm afraid I exaggerated that part a little bit." " What are you doing in those clothes?" " I just pulled that one at the station." "I made up a joke." "Look, I'm not sore at you," "I'm sore at those cops from dragging me all the way back here." "No matter where I start out for, I always end up right back in Hollywood." "You're a very nice girl and I'm glad to have met you." "If there's ever anything I can do for you, I'd be delighted." "Honestly." " You mean that?" " Sincerely." "Then buy me some ham and eggs before I bite you." "Home." "Where's the swimming pool?" "You must have a swimming pool." "Right out here." "Outside dining room." "Barbecue." "Hmm." " Pretty, isn't it?" " Yeah." "There's the tennis court up there, grape arbour there, and a grove there." "Well, I guess that's about all." "What are you looking at me that way for?" " Hey, you big fathead." " What's the big idea?" "That's for your swimming pools, tennis courts, limousines and barbecues." "That's for making fun of a poor girl who only tried to help you." "Who made fun of you?" "You did with your stories of being a washed-up director." "Oh, I did, did I?" "Breakfast is served, sir." " You might have shaved." " I need these whiskers for my experiment." " Oh yes, the noble experiment." " You don't have to make any cracks." "I don't suffer and starve because I like it, you know." "Neither does anybody else." " I'm sorry." " It's all right." " I'm sorry I pushed you in the water too." " I probably needed it." " You certainly did." " Did I?" "I didn't mind you." "As a matter of fact, I had kind of a yen for you." "You had?" "Not in that thing." "I liked you better as a tramp." "I can't help what kind of people you like." "It's funny." "I suppose I ought to be very happy for you, as if you'd just struck oil or something." "Instead of that, I'm sore." "Well, don't frown, you'll make lines in your face." "You've taken all the joy out of life." "I was all through with this stuff," "I mean, I knew I'd never have it, but there was no envy in my heart." "I'd found a friend who'd swiped a car to take me home." "Now I'm right back where I started - just an extra girl having breakfast with a director, only I didn't use to have breakfast with 'em." "Maybe that was my trouble." " Did they ever ask you to?" " No." "Well, then don't pat yourself on the back." " Take me with you." " What?" "On your experiment." "I don't want to be sent home." "Don't be childish." "I'll tell you what I'll do." "You can stay here for a couple of weeks like I told you and when I get back I'll see what I can do for you." "I don't want to start all that stuff again." "Take me with you." "When you get as far as you're going, we can say goodbye, and I'll go the rest of the way alone." "It'll make a nice ending." "We'll finish what we started this morning." " That's absolutely out of the question." " Please." "You don't know anything about anything." "You don't know how to get a meal, you can't keep a secret," " you can't even stay out of town." " Thanks!" "I know 50 times as much about trouble as you ever will." "Besides, you owe it to me." "You sort of belong to me." "When you were a hobo, I found you." " Piffle." " Please." " I tell you it's out of the question." " I'll throw you in the water." "You take my mind off my work." "Oh-ho!" "The big director that has all the girls panting for him." "I'll follow you and tell everybody who you are, like a kid sister." " You'll follow me!" " Yes, I'll follow you, and I'll holler," ""This guy's a phoney, ladies and gentlemen," ""this is Sullivan, the big director from Hollywood." ""A phonus balonus, a faker, a..."" "If I may join in the controversy, sir, I think it's an excellent suggestion." " Well, you may not join in the controversy." " I will!" "I'm going with you!" "You'll do nothing of the kind." " Would you get me some tramp clothes?" " Certainly, miss." "Go to the station and get a ticket to..." "Where do you live?" "I won't tell you." "I won't be sent home." "You stop that." "Stop that." "Grab her feet!" " Oh!" " Yes, sir, certainly, sir." " Now, miss..." " Let get of me!" " Let go of me!" " Please, miss!" "Oh!" "Mr Burrows!" "This way, Mr Burrows!" "There we are." "Now... one, two, three!" "Pull!" "Hello, information?" "Have you any freight trains going east this afternoon or early this evening?" "5:48?" "Thank you very much indeed, sir." "Oh, and could you tell me, does that train carry tramps, and if so, where do they get on?" "What?" "It's on page two." " What did you say?" " Tramps." "How would you like to take a flying?" "Wise guy." "Yes, sir?" "What was that again?" "I wonder if you'd be kind enough to settle a bet for us?" "Just a few of us here at the club." "If a tramp were to board your 5:48 this afternoon, from where would he board it?" "I see, I see, yes." "But not within the yard limits." "I think that gives me the complete picture." "Thank you very much for your trouble." "Oh, and by the way " "I win." "Good day." "A different approach to the same problem." "I think this is it, sir." "Why don't you go back with the car?" "You look as much like a boy as Mae West." " All right, they'll think I'm your frail." " I believe it's called a beazel, miss." " Well, goodbye, Burrows." " Goodbye, sir." "Goodbye, miss." "May I close, sir, by warning you against the entire expedition, which I envision with deep apprehension and gloomy foreboding?" "Thanks." "Same to you." "Come on." "Jump!" "Come on, here." "Let me help you." " Lift me up!" " I got you!" " We made it." " We're on." "Amateurs." "Phew!" "Oh, how do you do?" " Beautiful weather." " If it doesn't rain." "How do you feel about the labour situation?" "Oh, where are you going?" "I hope we didn't disturb you." " Very interesting couple." " Yeah." " Do you smell anything?" " I certainly do." " What's it smell like to you?" " Hogs." " That's what I was afraid of." " I'm getting hungry." "How can you possibly be hungry when you just ate?" "I'm not a scientist." "All I know is I'm hungry." "You'd better tell the porter to close the window." "I didn't ask you to come along in the first place." "Don't start daking wisecracks." " Doe, sir." " Blasted draft in here at dat." " Where is this train going?" " I don't know." " How long's it take to get there?" " I didn't ask you to come along." "I think that's a perfectly reasonable question." "Haven't you got enough imagination to pretend we're broke, hungry, homeless, drifting in despair?" "Now let's just sit here and try to feel like a couple of tramps." " Cold?" " I'll be all right." " It's the desert." " I'll be all right." "As soon as this blasted thing comes to a town someplace" "I'll send for a car and have you taken home." "It's a lot of hokey balokey." "This is a terrible way to travel with a girl." "It's better with a girl than without one." "You would have frozen to death." "If I go back, would you go back with me?" " Donsense." " Then I won't go back either." "You're so simple, you're apt to get in a lot of trouble." "What do you think I'm out here for?" "Gee, I like that about you." "You're like those knights of old who used to ride around looking for trouble." "Who was it that rode on a pure white horse?" "Lady Godiba." "She must've been a nut." "I bet her husband was sore." "Are you jealous?" "Why don't you shut up and try to get some sleep?" " Will you go to sleep too?" " I'll try." "Why don't you try counting the hogs jumping over a hedge." "Listen, short-breeches..." "What's that?" " Dothing, just be." " What?" " I sdeezed." " You what?" "I..." "I sdeezed." "Oh, you poor darling." "Have you got hay fever?" "I think it's hog fever." "Oh, you poor lamb." "I'll be all right as soon as the sun gets a little warmer." " Are you hud-gry?" " You got me doing it!" " We got any eating money?" " Ten cents." "Can we spend it for breakfast or are you saving it for something?" "Look, I've already told you I'll send for a car for you..." "I can't help it if I'm good-natured." "I like to be with you, and it puts me in a good humour." "You take lots of girls and you make them sleep in a hog sty all night and then don't tell them where their breakfast was coming from - they wouldn't take it lying down." "Oh, we'll find some breakfast somewhere." "In some swill pail I suppose." "Well, what do the other bums do?" "They steal chickings..." "Chickens." "They roast 'em over campfires with baked potatoes and green corn on the cob with melted butter and..." "Shut up." "Where do they get the butter?" " They steal it." " They don't." "It isn't as easy as all that." "There's a lot of suffering that ordinary people don't know anything about." " Now what's the matter?" " I'm hungry." "Well..." "Hey, there's a town up ahead." "Let's get off and see what happens." " What town is it?" " I don't know." "I suppose it's Hollywood." "Look, there's a lunch stand." "Come on." "Well, come on, I can't keep running along here all day." "Here I come." "Just a minute." "Well, come on." " Did I hurt you any?" " Well, you didn't do me any good." "Come on." "Cup of coffee and sinker for one." "I never eat till noon." "It gives me indigestion." "Just make that two coffees." " That'll be ten cents." " That's all right." "It's right here someplace." " Holy Boses." " What's the matter?" "I must've spent it in that owl wagon." " I'll never get rich." " Oh, gee." "You're a little richer than you were." "Hundreds of miles from everything, cut off from the world, a taste of human kindness." "I'll never forget it as long as I live." " What town is this?" " Las Vegas, Nevada." "Las Vegas, Nevada." "This is the Busy Bee." "Las Vegas?" "You mean Las Vegas?" " What about it?" " Is there a land yacht waiting here?" "Land yacht?" "You mean that thing?" "That's perfectly wonderful, Mr Sullivan, I rejoice in your experience." " Where does this gentleman live?" " Just up there." "Give him $100." " A great human interest story." " It'll probably ruin him." "He'll give turkey dinners to every slug and never hit the jackpot again." "All right." "Buy the kid here a few clothes and meet me in Kansas City." "Someplace near the station." "I'm going the hard way." " So long, gang." "Oh!" " Just a minute, please." "Sit down." " But listen, Doc!" " You listen." "It's three days in bed, minimum." "This is just a cold shot." "You won't even feel it." "Yow!" "I haven't time to spend three days in bed." "You'll take the time." "You'll get to Kansas City just as soon." "And you can imagine that you went there in your... cow snatcher." "Haven't you got any imagination?" "Here's something for you." " What's that?" " It's Christmas." "So long!" " Come in!" " Here's a wrapper for you, and slippers." " What?" " A wrapper." "Oh." "Thanks!" " There's make-up in the medicine cabinet." " Oh, thanks, I can use it." "You sure can." "Yes, sir, Mr LeBrand, he's right here in the next room, taking a little snooze." "He looks great." "This whole thing is doing him a power of good." "Come in." " Hello." "Feel better?" " No, I'm sore." "Nothing the matter with me but a little fever." "Even if I did get sick, they could've sent me to a free hospital." " Would've been very interesting." " They give you a nice free burial too." "Free burial." "Why does everybody exaggerate everything so much?" "I've got a little cold in my head." "You take a dose of salts, there you are." " It's because you're a very valuable man." " Bushwa." " You make lovely pictures." " Phooey." " Well, you do." " It's a funny thing how everything keeps shoving me back to Hollywood or Beverly Hills." "Or this monstrosity we're riding in." "Almost like gravity." "As if some force were saying, "Get back where you belong." ""You don't belong out here in real life, you phoney, you."" " You're a little feverish." " Maybe there's a universal law that says," ""Stay put, as you are so shall you remain."" "Maybe that's why tramps are always in trouble." "They don't vote, they don't pay taxes." "They violate the law of nature." "You look very pretty in that outfit." "Maybe that's why they don't want trailer colonies." "Or am I getting a bit profound?" " You're getting a bit hot." " Your hand is very cool." "But nothing is gonna stop me." "I'm gonna find out how it feels to be in trouble, without friends, without credit, without chequebook, without name... alone." "And I'll go with you." "How could I be alone if you're with me?" "Yes, sir, Mr LeBrand, it's all finished." "The greatest expedition of modern times." "Almost the greatest sacrifice ever made by human man." " Good morning, Toby." " Yes, ma'am." " Good morning." " Good morning." "He's all washed up, except tonight he's going for a quick tour." "He's taking $1,000 in five-dollar bills and he's going to hand them out to these tramps in gratitude for what they've done for him." "Now is that a story?" "Does that give you a lump in your throat or does that give you a lump in your throat?" " Hello." " Hello." "Tired?" "No, no, I was just... thinking." "Well, here we are at the end of the adventure." "I'll go down tonight and give 'em a little money and that winds it up." "Now what do you wanna do?" "Do you want to go home or do you want to take another crack at Hollywood?" " Well, I..." " With a nice fat letter to Lubitsch." "I'd sort of like to... go where you go." "I mean, I'd sort of hoped that you'd... you'd want us to go on together a little longer now that we kind of got used to each other." "Of course I would, if I wasn't married." " Who's married?" " Well, didn't you know that?" "I thought everyone had heard of my misfortune." " Of course I didn't." " What do you mean, "Of course I didn't"?" "As if I'd snatched you away from your loving grandmother." " Are you in love with her?" " That vulture?" " Then why marry her?" " Income tax." "It was supposed to save me $24,000 a year." "It's what's called a joint return, it's California law." "Each one pays half, and the total is less than the aggregate surtax if the surtax is less than something or other." " It was an idea of my business manager's." " Well, I think it's disgusting." "It wasn't supposed to be romantic, it was supposed to save $12,000 a year." "But it didn't." "Turned out she couldn't live on 12,000 a year." " Good." " Lovely." " She had to have 24,000 to live on." " Good." "Don't keep saying "good" all the time, or I'll poke you in the nose." "Good." "Now listen." "So I demanded the divorce she'd promised me." "And she told you to go fry an egg?" "She said it would break her mother's heart." "Some fine advice your business manager gave you." "I found out why - he was getting half." "And you really can't get a divorce ever?" "Never." "You can't divorce without collusion, and she won't collude." "I... guess I... ought to go home, then." "You could still have that letter to Lubitsch." "Could I... still come and push you in the pool sometimes?" " Of course you could." " Guess that's better than nothing." "There, there, there, my gracious." "Here are the five-dollar bills, Mr Sullivan." " Hello, Johnny." " Get me two tickets on the midnight plane." "Two tickets?" "Oh, two tickets!" "Oh, yes, indeed, Mr Sullivan." " They're pretty, aren't they?" " Uh-huh." " You want one?" " Yes." "Here." "You can have two of them." "Did you cancel the plane tickets?" "They cancelled themselves." "I'm gonna give him just 15 minutes more, and then..." "I'm sure he's all right." "Probably just got interested in a revival meeting or something and..." "Hello?" "Yes, Doc." "Not in the hospitals, huh?" "Sure." "I guess that's all you can do." "Anyway, he didn't have an accident." "Hello?" "He isn't, huh?" "Val has covered the police stations." " OK." " I guess you can come back now." "I should have gone with him." "I knew he'd get into trouble without me." "I'm gonna give him just 12 minutes more and then I'm gonna lay it in LeBrand's lap and let him figure it out." " Sully'll be sore if you raise a big holler..." " Let him be sore." "I got a job too." " If LeBrand found out..." " He came back last time." "He didn't have people waiting for him." " You don't know him like I know him." " Is that so?" "Yeah?" "Say, I'm down here at the morgue." "They got a guy in a basket, you can't tell who he is." "Did the boss have any identification?" "Did he have any identification that you know of?" "He had..." "I think he said he had..." " Who's that?" "Have they found him?" " Take it easy, will you?" "What identification did he have?" "In the soles of his shoes." "I think there was a..." "a card between the soles of his shoes." "Look in the soles of his shoes, between the leather." "He's coming now, I can hear his footsteps." "There's a card here, it's hard to read, it's all splattered." " He's dead?" "What do you mean?" " What do you think it means?" " Why do you send him on jobs like this?" " Do you think I like it?" "I will sue you." "I'll teach you to..." "Operator, I was talking with Kansas City." " They're gonna sue me." " Heh!" "I suppose I ought to fire the whole bunch of you." "Somehow I don't feel like firing anybody." "Get your things together and leave this afternoon!" "I'll fly back." "Uh, yes, sir, uh..." "I'd like you to come with us, my dear." "Jones has explained to me." "You were his last discovery." "His last gift to the world." "We'll take care of you always." "She didn't hear you." "What's the idea riding into the yard?" "I said, what's the idea riding into the brake yard?" " Oh, lay off, will you?" " I'll run you in for trespass." "Shut up, you dumb cluck." "Can't you see I'm sick?" "Come on, get out of here, you dirty rat." " Come on, go on." " Don't do that again." " That's telling him, Bull." " Don't do what again?" "Come on." "Come on, get going." "Trespass, resisting arrest, atrocious assault with intent to kill." "Huh?" "What?" "What'd he say?" "We object, your honour." "My client had been injured..." " Objection overruled." " Trespass and resisting arrest." "Objection." "The man was not an officer of the law." "Sustained." " Trespass and atrocious assault." " Objection, your honour." "Objection overruled." "Get down to business." "Prisoner at the bar." "Prisoner at the bar!" " Answer when you're spoken to." " Huh?" " Do you plead guilty or not guilty?" " Huh?" "Guilty or not guilty to trespass and atrocious assault with a rock upon the employee of the railroad." "I guess I hit him all right, the way my hand feels." "I'm sorry, I'll... make it up to you." "I'll... pay any damages you like." "Sorry." "So you still refuse to give your name?" "It'll... come back to me in a minute," "I... have such an awful headache." "I'm all mixed up." "We plead guilty, with extenuating circumstances due to temporary insanity." "Huh?" "What?" "What'd he say?" "Stand up." "Stand up!" "Stand up." "These are parlous times and we have no desire to be severe." " Just a minute, I..." " Silence!" "When confronted with violence, the court has no alternative." "Since you refuse to remember your name but have pleaded guilty," "I will be as lenient as my conscience permits, and will not impose upon you the maximum penalty that your crimes permit." "Richard Roe, I sentence you to six years of hard labour as described by the laws of our sovereign state." "Six years?" "What's he talking about?" " You get off easy." " I gotta get to a phone." " I have to send a..." " Come on." " Wait a minute." "I'm all mixed up here." " Come on." "Come on." "Mister!" "New man." " Hello, Charlie." " Hi, Jake." " Put him in 13." " Just a minute..." "You speak when you're spoken to!" "If you want anything, hold up your arm." " Listen, you..." " You call me "mister"." " Put him in 13 and find him a bunk." " Come on!" "Wait a minute, wait a minute." "Them cost me $16.50." " Another Richard Roe, eh?" " There seems to be a lot of them." " How's everything up at the house?" " Fine, Jake." " Give my regards to the missus." " I'll do that little thing." " I gotta get outta here." " Take it easy, boy." "Listen, I'm John L. Sullivan, a Hollywood director." "Somebody slugged me." "I gotta get out of here." "A Hollywood what?" "Take it easy, you're gonna lose your privilege - no letters, no smokes, no writing." " You don't want that." " Listen, I want a lawyer." " You get me to a telephone." " There's a telephone right down there." "Can't do things like this to people - put 'em in a pigsty." "Pipe down, will you, please?" "Before he hears." "I want a lawyer." "I demand my right to have a lawyer." "Did you hear that?" "He demands a lawyer!" "You starting in again?" "You're gonna be here a long time, see, and you gotta learn, and learn quick." "Chain him." "No privilege, fresh guy." "We're going to the picture show Sunday." "Good news - you wanna see the picture show Sunday?" "We're..." "We're going to the picture show." "We're going to the picture show Sunday." " When can I write a letter?" " When you get your privilege back." " How long'll that take?" " That all depends on the mister." "He's all right if you take it nice and quiet." "How long's it take him to make up his mind?" "Take it easy or you'll never get it." "Look out." "Who gave you leave to read the paper?" "You won't learn, huh?" " It's about me." "I just happened to see it." " Shut up." "Turn around!" "Turn around!" "Put your hands behind you." " Put him in the sweatbox." " For how long, mister?" "Till I tell you to let him out." "Are you gonna start now?" " No, sir." "Yes, sir." "I mean no, sir." " Well, then get moving!" "Get back to your work." "What do you think this is - a vaudeville show?" "Tastes good, don't it?" "I'll try to get him to let you off early." "I ain't supposed to do this." "Please..." "Water..." "You'll be all right." "You gotta learn, that's all." "It ain't so easy at first but after a while you don't mind." "We ain't so bad off." "He ain't bad according to his lights, has to deal with some tough hombres." "Got us chicken last Thanksgiving, and some turkey once for Christmas." "And there ain't another mister takes his gang to the picture show." "Maybe..." "Maybe if I ask him he'll let you go to the picture show Sunday." "Wouldn't that be something?" "Huh?" "Huh?" "Go ahead, Charlie." "Let it down easy, Charlie." "Charlie's a little anxious." "Well, brothers and sisters, once again we're going to have a little entertainment." "I guess I don't have to tell you what it is - the sheet kind of gives it away." "And once again, brothers and sisters, we're going to share our pleasure with some neighbours less fortunate than ourselves." "Won't you please clear the first three pews so they may have seats?" "And when they get here, I'm going to ask you once more, neither by word, nor by action, nor by look, to make our guests feel unwelcome, or draw away from them, or act high-toned." " For we is all equal in the sight of God." " Amen." "And he said, "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone."" "Yes." "The chains shall be struck from them." " And the lame shall leap." " Yes." " And the blind shall see!" " Yes!" " And glory in the coming of the Lord!" " Yes!" "Now let's give our guests a little welcome." "♪ When Israel was in Egypt land" "♪ Let my people go" "♪ Oppressed so hard they could not stand" "♪ Let my people go" "♪ Go down, Moses" "♪ Way down in Egypt land... ♪" "♪ Tell old pharaoh" "♪ Let my people go" "♪ Then Israel out of Egypt came" "♪ Let my people go" "♪ And left the proud oppressor's land" "♪ Let my people go" "♪ Go down, Moses" "♪ Way down in Egypt land" "♪ Tell old pharaoh" "♪ Let my people go ♪" "Will those nearest the lights kindly rise and dim them, please?" "I do." " Hey." " Yeah?" " Am I laughing?" " What?" "You don't suppose this is a gag, do you?" " He'd have to be Houdini to get out of that." " I wouldn't put it past him." "Don't you understand?" "They think I'm dead, but I'm not dead." "That's fine." "Just think what a nice surprise they'll have when you get out." "I haven't time to spend six years." " But you were sentenced." " I know that, but I still haven't time." "Well, you'll have to find the time." "They don't sentence picture directors to a place like this for a little disagreement with a yard bull." " Don't they?" " No." " Well, maybe you ain't a picture director." " Huh?" "Maybe that idea just come to you when you got hit on the head." " Maybe." " Now look..." "We used to have a fella here once that thought he was Lindbergh." "He used to fly away every night." "But he was always back in the morning." " Don't I look like a picture director?" " Course, I never seen one." "To me you look kinda more like a soda jerk or maybe a plasterer maybe." "But..." "If ever a plot needed a twist, this one does." "Huh?" "I gotta get my picture in the paper." "Oh, that'd be swell." "You could paste it over your bunk..." "What kind of people get their pictures in the paper?" "Ball players." "Girls." "They take them with their legs crossed." "I cut one out once." "She had a..." "She was sitting..." "No?" "Well, when you die." "If you was important enough." "I've had that." "Murderers." "There was a swell picture of a friend of mine." "He was a lodge brother." "They called him the blowtorch killer." "That's it." "That's it!" "You tell the mister I'm ready to make a full confession." " Now wait a minute!" " Come on!" " Now take it easy." " There isn't a moment to lose." "My conscience has gotten me." "I wanna confess to the murder of John L. Sullivan." " I killed John L. Sullivan!" " Wait a minute!" "I murdered John L. Sullivan!" "I'm telling you, you're doing the wrong thing!" " I'm a murderer." " Will you listen to me?" "I killed John L. Sullivan!" "Don't you understand?" "So am I." " I said, I'm so happy." " What?" " Your wife got married last week." " Who got buried last week?" "She got married last week." "My wife?" "Did you say they buried her?" "She got married." "She married your business manager." " She married him?" " Yes!" " He married her?" " Yes!" " But how?" " Because you were dead." " Dead?" " Dead!" "Do you suppose she'll give you a divorce?" "Give it to me?" "She'll beg me for it!" "She's got to give me a divorce, otherwise it's bigamy, unfaithfulness, alienation of affections, corpus delicti." "...run such risks!" " And then you'll be free." " And then I'll be free." "But not for long, I hope." "Just a moment, gentlemen!" "Sully, O Brother, Where Art Thou?" "is going to be the greatest tragedy ever." "The world will weep!" "Humanity will sob!" "It'll put Shakespeare back with the shipping news." "Quiet!" "Your personal courage, your sacrifice in sampling the dregs of vicissitude Will make O Brother a..." "I'm sorry to disappoint you, and I say it with some embarrassment, but I don't want to make O Brother, Where Art Thou?" " You don't want to make it?" " No." "I say it with some embarrassment." "I wanna make a comedy." "You say it with some embarrassment?" "He doesn't want to make O Brother, he wants to make a comedy." "He don't mean that, boss, he's still a little stir crazy." "Oh yes, I do." "Oh no, I'm not." " You are joking, aren't you, Sully?" " No." "But it's had more publicity than the Johnstown flood." " What are we gonna do with that?" " Oh, brother." "Why don't you want to make O Brother, Where Art Thou, Sully?" "In the first place, I'm too happy to make O Brother, Where Art Thou?" "In the second place, I haven't suffered enough to make it." " You haven't suffered enough?" " No." " But Sully..." " I'll tell you something else." "There's a lot to be said for making people laugh." "Did you know that's all some people have?" "It isn't much, but it's better than nothing in this cockeyed caravan." "Boy..."