"LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "Let's do this... by now you know" "Jane and Michael got engaged." " Will you marry me?" "Marry me." " Yes!" "Leaving Rafael heartbroken." "Also heartbroken?" "Rogelio." "See, he and Xo had reached an impasse." "I don't want to have any more kids." "Also at an impasse?" "Petra." "See, she gave birth to twin girls." " Elsa and Anna." " Like in Frozen?" "No one except for you would think of that." "But alas, she was having a hard time adjusting to new motherhood." "In her defense, she didn't have the greatest role model." "Oh, and speaking of tricky family members," "Rafael's half brother Derek was back in town." "And the question of the hour..." "Was he working with their mother, the notorious crime lord known as Mutter?" "Michael certainly thought so." "But Rafael, apparently not as much." "RAFAEL:" "I think Derek's telling the truth." "Oh, and speaking of danger, remember Alba's first love?" "Yo soy Pablo Alonso Segura." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "Well, Alba swore he was cursed!" "And yet..." "And then this happened..." "I know..." "OMG, right?" "Things are getting seriously biblical up in here!" "So let's get started." "In the beginning, there was Alba and Mateo in Miami." "And at first, the house was charmless and empty." "And Alba said...  _" "_" "So Mateo built her a porch swing." "And it was so." "And there was morning." "And there was evening." "And God blessed them and said to them," ""Be fruitful and multiply."" "And Alba begat Xiomara." "And Xiomara begat Jane." "Who begat Mateo II." "And it was good." "And then came the flood." "(thunder rolls)" "Sorry, not that kind of flood." "But remember this?" "(screams)" "_" "And thus, they would have to rebuild." "And so Alba, like Noah before her, said...  _" "_" "Ma, just because Rafael was generous enough to let us stay here..." "Ah." "Does not mean we should take advantage." "_" "It was too overcast to go to the beach." "ALBA:" "Hey." "I thought we were meeting you at the house with the contractors." "Michael's neighbors complained about Mateo." "Seriously, who complains about Mateo?" "!" "_" " Can you blame him?" " He's been displaced!" "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "Ah, yes, the Great Villanueva diaspora." "Anyway, Michael's lease is up soon." "We were gonna look for a new place after the wedding." "It's just really bad timing." "Or really bad luck." "_" "Oh, Pablo, didn't know you were here." "You remember Pablo Alonso Segura, right?" "Alba swore he was cursed." "Jane and Xo didn't believe." "_" "You'll notice the tables have turned." "In Alba's defense, a more scientific explanation of events had emerged." "Long before Pablo arrived, a pipe at the house got clogged, which begat a leak, which begat water damage to a circuit breaker, which begat the power outage when Pablo arrived." "After the water continued to fill up the attic, until it could no longer bear the weight of it, which begat the ceiling crashing open which begat the great flood!" "And while that does make sense, well, it's the third doorknob this week, people!" "Okay, let's hustle." "We don't want to be late for the contractor." "Hopefully, she can get us back in the house very soon." "Yeah, you're not moving back in any time soon." "So, it's as bad as it looks?" "It's actually worse than it looks." "Infested with mold." "Oh." "Do you think I'll still be able to get married here in six weeks?" "(laughing):" "That's cute." "Oh, you're being serious?" "Yeah, there's no way that's happening." "_" "JANE:" "Okay, I think I have everything I need." "You guys ready?" "XIOMARA:" "Coming." "_" "XIOMARA:" "What's that?" "The first Bible Abuela bought me." "I was looking for it when Mateo was born." "It's in perfect shape!" "_" "ROGELIO:" "I am your savior." " _" " See, Jane, every time God closes a door, he opens up the opportunity for a much bigger wedding venue!" "Ah, we have to make decisions." "I've been texting with Lauren Conrad, and she says we are way behind in our planning calendar." "Dad, this all looks so excessive a-and so expensive." "People are loving Tiago and my profile's never been higher, thanks to my kidnapping." "So I'm sparing no expense." "And that is so generous, but still," "I just want, like, a small wedding." "But we no longer have to adhere to the size restrictions of the house." " 75 people, Dad." " Don't remind me." "I don't know how I'm going to squeeze" " my list to 75." " What?" "What do I tell the president of Mexico or Charo?" " Oh." " Oprah?" "I mean, even if I could get a hundred..." "Dad!" "The wedding is 75 people total." "What?" "That's not a wedding." "That's a game night." " You get 15 people." " 15 people?" "Oh, great, my daughter's getting married on the same day" " I lose all my friends!" " Dad!" " I can't reduce to 15 people." " You'll figure it out." "We can go over the list together." "DEREK:" "We've gone over it already." "Yeah, but just to clarify, 'cause I'm still having trouble connecting a few dots." "So you find out your mom died, you decide to... hike the Appalachian Trail." "So you drove alone to Georgia." "What are you clarifying?" "You seem to have all the details." "Yeah, but I feel like you're leaving some out, pertaining to your mother." "_" "See, I think you know where she is." "What the hell?" "You're questioning my brother without his lawyer present?" "This is an informal thing." "His lawyer is in New York." "Informal, right." "Come on." "Get up." "We're leaving." "No, sit down." "You're not leaving." "Let me speak to you outside." " What the hell are you doing?" "!" " What the hell are you doing?" "!" "I'm trying to conduct an investigation!" "And my brother was not involved with our mother!" " I'm getting him local counsel." " From now on, you do not question him without his attorney present." "(Mateo crying)" "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "Okay, I can kind of see why Michael's neighbors complained." "I think he's teething." "Oh, I'm gonna try walking him." "Okay." " Hi." "Bye." " Hi." "Bye." "Bye." "(crying continues)" "Hmm." "Okay, okay." "(shushes)" "(shushing)" "(crying)" "Oh!" "(shushes)" "Sorry." "Oh." " (Mateo stops crying) - (gasps)" "(whispers):" "Finally." "The twins keeping you up?" "Hmm?" "Oh, the babies?" "No, no, no." "They're-they're, they're good sleepers." " Oh." " Yeah." "Uh, how does your family like living here?" "It's too bad the sun's been hiding out." "My grandma's never leaving." "(chuckles)" "And Michael and I are gonna go look at a place tomorrow." "Yeah, there's like a..." "I didn't realize there were so many charming houses in my price range..." "Petra, are you okay?" "Yeah, good." "Tired. (chuckles)" "Good luck with the, uh, charming houses." "Thanks." "Hmm." "Okay, so clearly "charming" is code for "small and old."" "Mm-hmm." "_" "Take your time." "Look around." "A house has to speak to you." "Come on." "Pretty depressing." "We can't live here." "Well, a coat of paint, some plants." "It's got nothing on our list." "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "Yeah, that list is not happening." "Not on your budget." "Yeah, got to be honest." "I'm falling apart here, Jane." "I've got asbestos in my bones, creaks in my floorboards, and a dirty-ash chimney." "You know what, yeah, this isn't really speaking to us." "Okay, let me show you something that might be interesting." "Oh!" "Two bedroom, two bath, actually within your price range." "Oh." "What's the catch?" "It's in West Miramar, about, uh, 30 minutes away." "I don't know." "Our lives are here." "Well, people commute." "You know, let's just go look at it." "It's a real house with a yard." "PHARAOH STATUE:" "Go, Jane, go!" "Get out of here while you still can." "(coughing)" " _" " LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "It should be noted that with every fiber of her being," "Jane really wanted to hate this house." "And it should be noted, with every fiber of her body, she did not." "_" "_" "_" "_" "The drive didn't even feel that far." " It really didn't, right?" " And with podcasts?" "I actually like driving." "I think it's relaxing." " Yeah." " Yeah." "(speaks indistinctly)" "Whoa, slow down." "Look, let's not beat around the bush." "I'm kind of perfect, right?" "My dishwasher, the swooshy yard." "And did you meet the Diaz-Goldbergs next door?" "They've got a daughter on the honor roll who babysits." "But can you really move" "Mateo 39 minutes away?" "I mean," "I hate to be all doomsday prophecy, but your baby daddy's never gonna go for it." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "And as much as Jane hated to admit it, she knew the snarky wallpaper made a good point." "JANE:" "And West Miramar's only 30 minutes away." " It's 45 minutes away." " 39." "With no traffic." "That's over an hour for every pickup and drop-off." "And what if something big happens?" "Like he takes his first step?" "It's not like I can just pop over." "I know." "And trust me," "I wish it was closer." "But it has a yard for Mateo, you know?" "And-and we can't afford that kind of house in Miami." "Yeah, but I can." "Find a house like it, near here, and I'll pay the difference." "Before you say no, just... will you think about it?" "Like, really think about it?" "We can't take your money." "Why not?" "Everything's about compromise." "And it's what's best for Mateo." "He'd grow up in a nice place near his dad..." "Look, just talk about it with Michael and-and at least consider it." "Yeah, okay." "We'll consider it." "Okay, good-bye, Mr. Sweetface." "(kisses) Mommy loves you, yes." "I'll see you tomorrow." "So Petra's back full-time?" "Yeah." "And is she okay?" "Because I saw her last night, and she seemed off." "She's definitely overwhelmed." " Yeah." " It kind of seems like she's afraid of them." "Maybe I'll check on her." "Just mom... to mom," "I wanted to see how you were doing." "Because Rafael and I are a little concerned." "And yes, we talked about it and I know you don't like to be handled." "I... don't really know what I'm doing... with them." "That is totally normal." "It is!" "Have you ever been to one of those new moms groups?" " Oh, please." " Seriously." "I-I went when I was feeling overwhelmed, and it helped." "Because then you see that everyone's going through the same thing." "Well, even if I wanted to," "I can't go out with two babies; it's such an ordeal." "Petra..." " Fine." "Will you take me?" " Yes." " MICHAEL:" "Whoa." " Hi." "What are all those doing here?" "Trying to make the place homier for Mateo." "Aw." "You know, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm actually getting kind of sick of shrimp cocktail." "_" "Okay, so, I just got off the phone with the Realtor." "Turns out there are other people making a play for the house." "So they want us to write some kind of a letter explaining why we are the perfect tenants." "Yeah, about that..." "Rafael already said no?" "He just thinks it's too far." "Oh..." " He did offer..." " What?" " I already said no." " To what?" "Well, to pay the difference for a comparable place here." " No." "We are not accepting his money." " Calm down." "I said no." "I knew you'd never go for it." " Would you?" " No. (scoffs)" "I think." "I don't know." "Maybe." "I mean, it would be better for Mateo to be close to his father." "I'm sorry, I just don't feel comfortable with that." "I know." "I get it." "I mean, there's always strings attached with money." "Like, look at your dad and the wedding." "He thinks because he's paying for it he can invite whoever he wants." " What?" "Did he call you?" " (doorbell rings)" "Ma, your room service!" "Texted." "Three times." "He's desperate for some wiggle room with his guest list, and by that I mean he wants to invite the actual Wiggles." " Oh..." " Apparently, they're very dear friends." "He also wants to know if Charo performs, does that count as entertainment or as one of his guests?" " Charo is performing?" " No." "I can't believe he went to you after I said no." "You just need to tell him to back the hell off." "I would, but he needs his space from me, so..." "JANE:" "Okay." "New rule: if we haven't met them, they can't come." "Period." "Oh... !" "They gave me extra chipotle mayo." "What?" "I love it here." "_" "_" "What if we made a schedule and presented it to Rafael?" "I'll be driving into Miami every weekday for work..." "And I'll be coming into Miami three days a week for school and twice for shifts at the Marbella." "You know?" "So between me, Michael and my mom, you'll barely have to spend any time in the car." "Before you say no, will you at least consider it?" "Like you guys considered the money?" "Come on." "We did." "You can understand us not taking it." "Look, I know it's not ideal, but I-it's only a year lease." "If it doesn't work, we won't renew." "You're the one who said we all have to make compromises, and a year is not that long." "_" "_" "(laughs)" "_" "Mmm." "_" "No." "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "Abuela?" "_" "_" "(giggles)" "Abuela, that's..." "Hilarious." "You're joking, right?" "_" "Abuela, what Mom is trying to say is that you guys have only known each other for a week." "_" "So date." "Yeah?" "What's the rush?" "_" "_" "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "It should be noted that years of reading each other's body language allowed Jane to correctly interpret this as," ""It still seems pretty crazy to me."" "And Xo correctly translated this as," ""I know, but what can we do?" "She's happy."" "Abuela, if that's what you want, we are happy for you." " Ay..." " Yeah." "Ah..." "I can't believe you're both getting married!" "I really gotta step up my game!" " Ah!" " (laughter)" "Which brings us here, now." "Any silly games?" "Nope." "No games." "Cheesy songs?" "Maybe one cheesy song." "But it's not about rainbows and friendship and gross stuff." "And you do not have to sing." "♪ And my name is Petra ♪" "MOMS: ♪ Hi, Petra, hi, Petra ♪" "♪ I'm mommy to Elsa and Anna ♪" "Oh, like in Frozen?" "No, not like that at all." "♪ Hi, Elsa, hi, Anna ♪" "♪ And my name is Ja-ane ♪" "MOMS: ♪ Hi, Jane, hi, Jane ♪" "♪ I'm mommy to Mateo ♪" "♪ Who's not here but I am ♪" "♪ Because my... ♪" "Oh, um, sorry." "Because, uh, when he was a newborn, this group was really helpful." "Uh... just in terms of not making me feel so alone and overwhelmed." "And my... (clears throat)" "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "What is the right word here?" "Friend..." "Slash son's sisters' baby mama..." "Petra is going through it, times two." "WOMAN:" "You're in the right place." "We're all feeling alone and overwhelmed here." "WOMAN 2:" "This is my second kid." "I thought I was prepared." "No." "That newborn bubble, it is intense." " And the hormones." " (baby fussing)" "There are days when I wonder why I did it." "Are there any days you don't wonder?" "(laughter)" "(knocking at door)" "Oh, hi." "Good morning." "Is, uh, Jane here?" "I wanted her to join my dear friend and I for breakfast downstairs." "Hi." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "Cuchi, cuchi!" "Is that who I think it is?" "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "Uh..." "Jane isn't here." "She went to a new mommy class with Petra." "Oh, dear." "Rogelio, we can meet her at class." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "You're... we can discuss." "Thank you, Xiomara." "Actually, do you have a minute to chat?" " Alone?" " Mmm..." "I keep no secrets from Charo." "Okay..." "I know you and Jane haven't exactly been seeing eye to eye with all this wedding stuff..." "Lauren says that spirited disagreement is part of the fun of planning a wedding." "Who is Lauren?" "L.C." "Okay." "Look, I just want you to know that I'm here, in case you need help navigating." "Stop, Xiomara." "I think I made it very clear." "I need space from you." "But... but this is about Jane and the wedding." "And we're still a family, first and foremost." "Yes, we are." "But my heart is also still broken." "And repeating that over and over is getting a little... embarrassing." "Come, Charo." "PETRA:" "And I feel...  at a loss, I guess." "I mean," "I-I, I look at them and I know they're my daughters, but I-I just... can't connect with them." "I don't know, I just feel like m-maybe they would be better off with... someone else taking care of them." "JANE:" "You know that's not true, right?" "You're their mom." "Petra..." "I'm fine." "(laughing):" "I'm fine." "I'm just overwhelmed, like everybody else here is." "WOMAN:" "Petra, I'm gonna jump in here." "It definitely sounds like you're veering into postpartum territory." " What?" "No." "No." " How's your sleep?" "Fine." "I saw you walking the halls in the middle of the night" "What is this, some kind of intervention?" "You told me to come here to talk about how I was feeling." "And now I'm hearing you and I'm a little concerned." "I'm fine." "Excuse me," " I-I need to use the restroom." " Oh." "I got her." "Wow." "♪ ♪" "So... you never came back." "The way everyone was judging me there?" "We were concerned." "Look, early motherhood is hard and I don't think that I would've been able to get through it without these... great moments with Mateo." "And I just don't think you're having great moments." "♪ ♪" "Look, Pippa's mom had postpartum with baby number one." "Here's the number to the doctor that she saw." "And FYI," "I hear that the doctor is very exclusive and very expensive." "Yeah, and I don't even think they take insurance." "Just tell me that you'll think about it." "I'll think about it." "_" "_" "(sighs)" "_" "PETRA:" "What's wrong?" "You-you look upset." "Everything okay with the hotel?" "No, I..." "You're with the twins." "Well, it's not like they can fend for themselves." "Is this about our booking shortfall this month?" "RAFAEL:" "No." "No, no." "I was just writing an e-mail to Jane." "Her and Michael found a house they can afford, but it's 40 minutes away, and I..." "I just don't want Mateo that far." " You freaking kidding me?" " Excuse me?" "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "And that's when it happened." "After everything Jane's done, starting with having Mateo in the first place after your sister knocked her up, and you can't tolerate a small commute to let her live in her dream house?" "Get over yourself, Rafael, and find a way to make it work." "And so, just as Jesus rose Lazarus from the dead," "Petra Solano went to the mat for Jane Villanueva on this day in the Year of our Lord 2016." "_" "_" "DIRECTOR:" "And action!" "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" " _ - _" "_" "And cut!" "Good." "It was so nice of you to come here on your day off." "You needed to think of my character." "I want you to give a great performance." "I also wonder, after work, you want to... run lines?" "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "Ooh, sounds like "running lines" means having sex." "And then maybe we can have sex." "Oh, I guess it just meant run lines." "Uh, I'm sorry, Adriana." "I don't think it's the right time for me." "Now, if you'll excuse me." "Jane!" "(Rogelio laughs)" " Thank you for coming, Jane." " Oh, of course." "You were amazing, and I loved that w..." "No need to shower me with praise." "Come, there are some people I want you to meet." "It should be noted that Rogelio failing to bask in her praise was Jane's first clue that something weird was going on." "Jane, I want you to meet all my friends at video village." "Jane's second clue that something weird was going on?" "_" "And, my dear, dear friend, Charo." "Aah!" "Jane, you are so cute." "Oh, thank you so much, Charo." "You're spectacular." " Charo." " I know." "ROGELIO:" "And this is Lewis and Andres." "Have you guys seen Kathie Lee and Hoda?" "Hi, everyone." "If you could just excuse me for one minute." " Yeah, but..." " No." "Are you seriously trying to find a loophole in our guest rule?" "(scoffing):" "Of course not." " Dad." " Perhaps." "I just thought that once you met them, you will bend your insane 15-person rule." " It's not happening." " Why?" "I'm the one paying for it." "Excuse me?" "Uh, I just mean that it's not about the money for me." "It's not about money for me either." "It's about who I want there." "Which is why Michael and I will pay for it." "What?" "!" "Yeah, it's just easier that way, Dad." "But..." "Jane..." "Uh, so what do you want me to do with all this extra cake?" "Let the crew eat it or... ?" "Put it in the freezer." "I'll take it home and eat it on my cheat days." "_" "JANE:" "It's too complicated with Dad, you know?" "Too many strings." "This way is better." "All I need to do is find a new venue that's super cheap and available in a month and a half." "_" "Really?" "_" "Great." "Have a double wedding." "Ma, stop." "Do you really want to get married where the church ladies play bingo?" "All that matters is that I'm marrying the man that I love surrounded by the people that I love." "I'll go look at the church after Michael and I sign the lease." "Oh, I need to go." "Good luck." "Mwah." "Adios." "Mwah." "Adios." "_" "The house isn't too far, right?" "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "MAN:" "Ready to make this official?" "Two copies, read 'em over." "There you go, buddy." "It's all standard stuff, babe." "I'm yours for the taking." " _ - (thunder rumbles)" "WALLPAPER BIRD:" "Come on, that's not real; you're just imagining it." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "Says the talking wallpaper." " Jane, look." " (gasps)" "♪ ♪" "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God, Mateo, you're cruising!" " This is, like, uh, a milestone, right?" " REALTOR:" "I'm filming." "What a sign, right?" "In the new house." "And it did feel like a sign to Jane, but a very different one." "♪ ♪" "What's wrong?" "(sighs) Um..." "We can't live here." "What?" "I'm sorry." "It's okay for me to be away from my parents, because I am an adult, but Mateo isn't... and he should be close to his father." "WALLPAPER BIRD:" "Uh, lady, what?" "Need I remind you of my built-in dishwasher and the fact that there are jets in the master bath?" "I don't care about the dishwasher and the jets" " in the bath, okay?" " I'm not gonna change my mind!" "Whoa, whoa." "Why are you yelling at me?" "I get it." " You do?" " Yes." "I do." "So we'll keep looking." "It doesn't matter where we live, 'cause wherever you are is home to me." "♪ ♪" "WALLPAPER BIRD:" "Yeah, good luck finding direct sunlight and wood floors, you cheeseballs." "WOMAN (over phone):" "And do you ever have thoughts of running away?" "Yes." "Yes, I have." "It's okay." "That's okay." "And does postpartum depression run in your family?" "Did your mother suffer from it?" "I don't know." "We're not exactly... close." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "That's one way to put it." "Well, if you can, ask her before you come in." "The more we know, the better we can help you." "What do you mean you're taking off?" "Where are you going?" "New York for a little while." "I got some friends who'll let me crash." "Why not just stay here?" "In Miami?" "(chuckles softly)" "There's nothing for me here." "Just a bunch of people judging me because of who my mom is." "Same with me." "Stay." "I'll get you a job here." "Let's hope this story turns out to be more Prodigal Son than Cain and Abel." "DEREK (over speaker):" "Why would you do that?" "RAFAEL:" "Like I said, we're family." "Oh, dear!" "Michael's spying on Rafael!" "This could be bad." "It wasn't that bad." "There was a pigeon inside." "There's exactly one half-functioning toilet for the entire rec room." "Okay, some nice lighting, music, scented candles..." "There are no windows." "Hotel living has really spoiled you." "Maybe." "But why would you want to have your wedding there when you could have it somewhere much nicer?" "I tried, but Dad won't listen to what I want." "Yeah, okay." "What's so bad about what he wants?" "I just want to keep the wedding small." "It's a religious sacrament." "Agreed." "Keep the cereceny small." "You think Charo wants to sit in church?" "But why not have a big party after?" "What's the big deal?" "You used to dream of a big wedding?" "I don't know, it's just..." " not where I'm at now." " Well, it's not really all about you, is it?" "My wedding?" "It kind of is." "Nah." "It's also about your family." "We get to show you off." "Plus, your dad didn't get to throw you a communion party or your quinceañera." "And he's proud of you." "Ugh, you might be right." "I'll think about it." "Oh." "Wrong floor." "Must have pushed it by mistake." "And that's when she saw him." "Now, was it Pablo's coat of many colors that caught her eye?" "Who knows?" "In any case, Jane turned around to look." "And unlike Lot's wife, she didn't turn into a pillar of salt." "But if she could have turned Pablo into one, believe me," "Jane would have, or maybe she'd smite him instead." "Yes, smiting!" "Let's go with that." "_" "I'm so sorry, Abuela." "(sighs)" "_" "Hey." "You can't blame yourself because he turned out to be a jerk." "You got swept up in the romance." "_" "_" " What?" "!" " Uh... _" "Oh, my God." "Welcome to my world." "(laughing)" "You know what?" "This was good." "So he wasn't the guy." "Mm." "You should be dating." "Ooh, I agree." "_" "Mm-hmm." "So... what are you gonna do about Pablo?" "_" "_" " _ - (thunder crashing)" " _ - (thunderbolts zapping)" "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "_" "(grunts)" "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "And thusly was he cast out." "♪ ♪" "Look." "A rainbow." "Oh." "MAGDA:" "What do I care about a rainbow?" "My own daughter put me in jail." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "Ah, yes." "Here's Magda, back in her old, familiar stomping grounds." "_" "Because you killed a man, Mother." "In self-defense." "Well, with one crucial difference." "_" "Look, I didn't come here to fight with you." "I came because..." "I had the twins." "You're a grandmother." "Whoop-de-do." "(inhales slowly)" "(exhales)" "And... to be honest," "I've been... struggling." "A little." "And the doctor asked for my family history, so I-I was wondering if, um, well, after you had me, did you ever feel... depressed?" "Depressed?" "I had baby girl." "In Czechoslovakia." "In 1985." "Of course I was depressed." "You were depressed." "The neighbor who delivered you was depressed." "We were all depressed." "Plus, I was not built to be mother." "And neither are you." "You want my honest opinion?" "The best thing you could do for those girls is to give them away." "♪ ♪" "Dad?" "(sighs)" "I think I was being too stubborn." "What?" "I was talking to Mom, and she basically... told me to get over myself." "And she's right." "I get why you want to bring 75 of your closest friends." "So, for the ceremony, we can keep it small, but for the party... what the hell, let's go bigger." "Really?" "Do you still have the binder?" "It's... somewhere." "Here it is." "Okay. (clears throat) You pick." "Um..." "What do you think about Versailles?" "What?" "No, I don't want a destination wedding." "Oh, no." "We'd rebuilt it." "I mean, not to scale, but..." "Think a little more low-key." "The Miami Zoo?" "L.C. did rustic chic, which could be fun with big farm tables." "Yeah, okay, maybe." "We could rent out a farm." "Farms are fun." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "And suddenly," "Rogelio realized one person who could help him." "And it wasn't Lauren Conrad." "Oh, hi." "I-I was just waiting for my mom." "I didn't know you'd be here." "I was actually looking for you." "You spoke with Jane?" "Oh, well, yeah, uh... she was just being stubborn." "Yeah." "I think she gets it from me." "I don't know, I think part of me felt that if I stayed away, you'd miss me enough." "It's just hard for me to accept it's over, but it is." "And I have to move on." "Because we're family, first and foremost, right?" "Yes." "Always." "I need your help." "I want Jane to love her wedding and I have the perfect place to have it." "Really?" "I brought some frozen cake from work." "Let's have a piece and I'll tell you my idea." "Yeah, I heard everything." "The bug's working great." "RAFAEL:" "Good." "Well, then you know he took the job." "He's staying in town." " LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "Oh, wow." " MICHAEL:" "Yup." "As soon as you set him up with an office, we'll wire it." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "I guess Rafael doesn't quite trust his brother after all." "Perfect." "You're not having second thoughts, are you?" "No." "Look, I need to know what he knew about our mother." "Yeah." "Hey, um... thanks for, you know, agreeing to let us move to that house in West Miramar." "You know, even though... we're not." "No problem." "Thanks for... you know, not moving there." "Anyway, um, I'm sure you'll find a place soon." "You guys just started looking." "Yeah." "(gasps) Is that Michael?" "Oh, you got to see this." "What?" "The Realtor just sent it over." "Two bedroom, two bath, two-car garage, less than a mile from here, in our price range." "Whoa." "What's the catch?" "Well, I asked the Realtor, he said no catch." "Oh." "It has to be Rafael subsidizing it." "I was talking to him on the phone and he says he was sure we'd find something." "What if it is?" " Is it?" " I don't know." "I mean," "I wouldn't rule it out." "But... so what?" "I mean, honestly, it's good for Mateo." "Yeah, it's good for you, baby!" "You know?" "A close house, near his dad." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: good And that's when he realized..." "You're right." "What?" "I mean, everyone's tried to compromise but me, it's half a block away from a park." "Really?" "Let's go see it." "Oh." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "And it should be noted they did." "And this time they wanted to love it." " This is a great street." " Yeah." " You see the lemon tree?" " I did." "Well, get ready..." "Because I'm purrfect." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "And so they opened the door, to find... (indistinct conversations)" "Where have you been?" "I told you to hustle right over here." "We stopped for lunch." "Who are all these people?" "You didn't think there'd be competition for a house like this?" "We thought that my son's father had bought it under an assumed name because we wouldn't" " take a direct handout from him." " I'm sorry, what?" " We were wrong, so..." " Whatever." "Look, there are seven people on the list already." "Everyone's putting in an application, so you'll have to write that letter selling yourselves to the owners." "What makes you guys the perfect tenants?" "LION:" "So, what are you standing there for, Jane?" "Go home and win this house with your magical prose." "Got it." "I'm all over it." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "And so it was on the tenth day after the flood in the year 2016, Jane composed the letter." "So, what do you think?" "You are a beautiful writer." "Oh." "But..." "I think the owner's more interested in knowing if we're gonna, you know, play loud music and pay our rent on time than they are in your childhood memories." "Oh, my God, I totally disagree." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "And thus, they debated and rewrote and reviseth until they were happy." "And then they rested." "And it was good." " Oh." " (giggles)" " _" " LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "Even gooder..." " or, rather, better..." "ROGELIO:" "Okay, ready?" "JANE:" "Ready." "One, two, and... here's where you're getting married." "I don't understand." "How did you do this so fast?" "I wanted you to have your dream wedding, so I had my crew work round the clock." "And, as you can see, the reception will spill out onto the soundstage." "You are totally crazy." "And it's totally perfect." "Thank you." "But I can't take all the credit." "It was a team effort." "(phone rings)" "Oh, shh, shh!" "Guys," " it's the Realtor, the Realtor." " Oh!" "Hello?" "Hi." "Yes." "Uh... (whispers):" "No." "We got it?" "Oh!" "Yes, great, thank you." "Thank you." "They loved us." "They love our letter." "(laughs)" "What did you write?" "Just about our family." "And ours is big and messy and unconventional and also the most important thing to us." "(phone rings)" "Do they have any idea I'm the owner?" "Between the other couples and the letter... no." "They have no idea." "Good." " (guitar playing gently)" " It's a good letter." "So, you're really moving." "I'm really moving." "How am I gonna live without you two?" "Oh, stop." "_" "I'm just saying, it'll be different." "Yeah, it will be." "But... it's good." "It's time." "_" "It really is, huh?" "You want to go look?" "(guitar continues playing)" "Hey, hey!" "Jane, I am just checking out the acoustics." "Rogelio asked me to play a song for papa and daughter dance at the wedding." "Sounds great." "Thank you, Charo." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "And it was so." "Oh." "Oh, Michael pulled the car in front." "(sighs)" "Okay." " All right." "Go with Abuela." " (fussing)" " Oh, I know, I know." " (Abuela speaks Spanish)" "_" "Yeah, I hope so." "No offense." "_" "_" " Ma..." " Huh?" "It's not a real house." "There's no water." "Ah, Dios mi..." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "And when God said let there be light..." "And there was light." "Unfortunately, less than four miles away, at the Marbella, there was also darkness." "MAGDA:" "The best thing you could do for those girls is to give them away." "LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:" "And remember, that is what triggered the exodus." "_"