"When in the night hour I await her coming it seems to me my life hangs by the thread." "Youth, honours, liberty - all shrink to nothing when my dear visitor pipes my bed." "Look, here she comes, her veil she raises, turning to view me with a shrewd appraising eye." ""Pray, was it you who dictated the Inferno to Dante?"." "And she answers: "It was I."" "Stalin:" "And how's Akhmatova?" "Prokofiev:" "She is too old, she cannot be reformed." "And Znamya publishes what we've rejected..." "Stalin:" "We'll reach them too." "("Izvestia" May 21, 1988)" "Anna Akhmatova's File" "Note:" "Detailed replies must be given." "Underlining is not allowed." "Write only in ink." "I was born in the same year as Charlie Chaplin, the "Kreutzer Sonata" by Leo Tolstoi and the Eiffel Tower..." "My father was a retired naval engineer." "I was named after my grandmother Anna Motovilova." "I was born at our country house near Odessa." "When I was 15" "I was once passing by that place with my mother." "We looked at it and I said:" ""Am memorial plaque will be put up here one day."" "It was a silly joke and Mother got upset:" ""I've brought you up badly!"" "When I was one year old I was taken to the North, to Tsarskoe Selo where I lived till I was 16." "In 1905 my parents separated." "Mother took the children to the South." "I missed Tsarskoe Selo and wrote a great deal of not my best poetry." "Papa said about my poetry:" ""Don't put my name to shame."" ""I don't need your name", I replied." "Only a crazy girl could chose a Tartar name for a Russian poetess." "I've decided to tell you about an event which must surely change my entire life." "I've decided to marry the friend of my youth," "Nikolai Stepanovich Gumilyov." "He's already been in love with me for 3 years." "I believe that to be his wife is my fate." "I swear with all that is sacred to me that this unhappy man will be happy with me." "I sat near the window and read Annensky." "Suddenly I understood what I must do." "When Gumilyov was back from Abyssinia" "I'd already written a few poems that were later included in the book "Evening"." "Gumilyov was serious about my work." "He wanted me to go on." "Early in 1912 the first book of my poems was published." "On October 1st my son Lev was born, my only son." "Mother, dear," "I'm sorry we were not allowed to meet." "The things you've sent are not needed." "Let those who sent me to prison feed and dress me." "The 20th anniversary of the VCHKa and the NKVD is not simply an anniversary of the of the Soviet offices." "This office stands closer than any other office to the Party." "It's more loyal that any other to Party principles." "Comrade Stalin has given us an example of the Soviet worker of Lenin's type." "And Comrade Stalin is Lenin's true disciple." "This is why the worker of Lenin's type is also a worker of Stalin's type." "Allow me to wish the NKVD workers to be like Lenin and Stalin, and to do the lofty tasks set out before them, to be courageous in battles and fierce towards the enemies, not to forget what Stalin once said:" ""The more gains we have, the more attempts the enemy makes to attack and undermine us."" "We hope that the NKVD officers will work as well as Lenin did and Stalin does." "Dearest Mother!" "I was acquitted of all charges brought against me, despite all reports on me." "I'm well and not even sad." "I only feel sorry for my unfinished works, but they don't seem to be topical." "I pray not for myself alone," "But for everyone who stood with me." "In summer's heat and winter's chill" "Beneath that red, unseeing wall." "What all of us have lived through, all of us, because imprisonment threatened all, no literature could describe." "Shakespearean dramas with their passions and duels, villainous acts, are children's games compared to the life of any of us." "What the executed or camp inmates have lived through" "I cannot tell, because you cannot describe this in words." "But even our prosperous life is a Shakespearean drama multiplied a thousand times." "Silent departures, sinister news in every family, black mourning frocks worn by mothers and wives." "In December 1913 I brought Blok his books to have them autographed." "He wrote a simple inscription:" ""To Akhmatova from Blok"." "and in the 3rd volume:" ""Beauty is menacing!" ""You'll throw lazily the Spanish shawl around your shoulders."" "I've never had a Spanish shawl, but Blok was crazy about Carmen at the time and saw a Spaniard in me." "The three of us, Blok, Gumilyov and I, were having dinner at the Tsarskoe Selo station at the beginning of the war." "Gumilyov was in uniform." "He told me:" ""If they send Blok to the front it would be the same as roasting nightingales."" "On August 7, 1921 Blok died in horrible agony." "On August 24 of the same year Gumilyov was shot." "Alexander Blok was 40." "Nikolai Gumilyov 35." "His fame came too late." "He was at its threshold, but had no time to know it." "Blok knew fame for 10 years." "Alexander Blok." "Died on August 7, 1921." "I knew about Nikolai:" "he was shot." "My friends had laundress." "Her daughter was an investigator." "The laundress told them all and about the place." "My friends saw there the ground trampled down by boots." "I found out about it 9 years later and went there." "I saw a clearing, a crooked pine tree." "The ground had sunk because the graves were not made properly." "When I came white flowers were growing around." "I was picking them and thinking:" ""People bring flowers to the grave" ""and I pick them."" "He wasn't handsome, squinted and had a speech defect." "A traveller, a brave soldier." "He was decorated with two St. George's crosses." "He bore all his trials simply and even cheerfully." "He was a free man, not embittered, just a bit ironic." "He had never fawned on anyone." "All my life August has been a bad month for me." "I heard a voice." "With soothing summons" ""Come hither, hither!" it implored." ""Leave your birthplace!" "Leave sinful Russia" "Forever!" "Come away abroad!" "I'll render your blood-red hands snow-white," "I'll rid your heart of darkest shame," "The pain of outrage and surrender" "I'll comfort with another name."" "But unconcerned and calmly raising" "With open palms I blocked my ears," "Not letting such unseemly phrases" "Profane my soul in grief and tears." "Anna Akhmatova is a typical representative of the empty poetry that lacks ideas and is alien to our people." "What does this poetry have in common with the interests of the people and the state?" "Nothing." "How can Akhmatova's works educate our young people?" "Her poetry has a very narrow range." "The feeling of doom understood only by extinct people." "This is Akhmatova's spiritual world, a fragment of the world that has sunk into oblivion." "I had a difficult character in my youth." "I always upheld my independence." "I lived 7 years with Gumilyov." "We were very friendly." "We were much obliged to each other inwardly." "But I told him that we have to part." "He didn't object, but I saw he was offended." "It's so strange that we had lived with Punin for 16 years." "The atmosphere was burdensome, but I was so depressed," "I had no strength to leave." "I felt very bad." "For 13 years I hadn't been writing any poetry." "For 13 years." "I visited Akhmatova yesterday on business." "I went to the garden, climbed up the old staircase that still bore some relation to her." "But then ..." "A woman opened the door wiping the soap suds off her hands." "I did not expect to see soap suds and the neglected hall." "There was the wet linen on the line in the kitchen." "Her room was a site of neglect and ruin." "The beautiful antique chair and the framed mirror only stressed the squalor." "What was really good was the window opening on the garden, and the tree." "And she herself, of course." "Deus consentat omnia." "God protects all." "The main feature of my biography is:" "all the houses where I lived no longer exist." "Sevastopol, Tsarskoe Selo - I had no permanent home." "I wasn't home either in Peter or in Moscow." "Mandelstam knowing how bad I felt at my Fontanka house, while saying goodbye to me called me "Dearest Anna"." "He'd never called me that before." ""Always remember - my home is your home"." "I was praised and criticized on many occasions, but I'd never been seriously distressed about that." "I was only really upset once:" "When Osip called me in his review "a typical lady of the parquet."" "And that was because of Osip, because it came from Osip." "If I had been his sister, he couldn't have trusted me more." "He told me once:" ""I've already prepared myself for death ..."" "And he said:" ""Verses today should be filled with civic spirit."" "And he read:" ""We don't feel the country behind us."" "We know the sources that have given us Pushkin and Blok." "But who can tell where this divine harmony that is called Mandelstam's verses, came from?" "Osip died when he was 47." "The Kharkov theatre, 1928." "Vladimir Mayakovsky replies to notes from the audience." ""What is your attitude to Akhmatova and Tsvetaeva?"" ""Whom do you like more?"" "After folding the note he quipped:" ""Akhmatova and Tsvetaeva?" "Two dames of one flock."" "Answering about Gumilyov:" ""They say: "A good poet."" ""This is too short and wrong." ""He was a good counter-revolutionary poet."" "I was asked to write reminiscences about Mayakovsky." "I refused." "I knew him very little and only distantly." "I detest recalling distant acquaintances." "Besides, why should I follow his chariot?" "I have my own." "He's guilty neither of this nor that or the third." "In general, poets can't be sinners." "To dance around the Ark of Testament or vanish - about that their poems told better than me." "Here're they - the scouts of Japanese imperialism." "Here are the agents of the War Minister and the Army amassing their forces on the borders of our country in order to attack our sacred borders." "Their plan has been exposed." "The treacherous mask has been torn off their faces once and for all!" "Let our verdict thunder as an edifying and purifying storm of a just Soviet punishment." "A naked man on a barren soil." "Art is a dangerous thing." "What horrifying fates!" "While young, you don't see this and if you do you ignore it." "Poverty has interfered neither with work nor grief." "No, grief is not an obstacle." "Here's the verdict:" ""On behalf of the Union of Soviet Socialist republics the Military Collegium of the Supreme Court of the USSR consisting of its chairman" "Ulrich, members of the Court, the Deputy Chairman of the Military Collegium, members of the Military Collegium of the Supreme Court and its Secretary, and also with the participation of the" "Public Prosecutor, Procurator of the USSR Vyshinsky ..." "I saw Tsvetaeva for the first time in 1941." "Prior to that, Marina used to send me her poems and gifts." "In 1941 I came to Moscow to handle the affairs of my son." "Pasternak visited Marina after her drama and asked if she needed anything." "She said: "I want to see Akhmatova"." "I phoned her." ""This is Akhmatova speaking."" ""I hear you."" "That was all." "Just "I hear you."" ""Boris Leonidovich told me you wanted to see me."" ""Where is it better for us to meet - at your place or mine?"" ""I think, at your place."" "She came and stayed for 7 hours." "I thought she lived a happy life." "Or, maybe, it was me who was happy, maybe, the two of us?" "I was in Leningrad when the war broke out." "During the siege I left for Moscow." "From there I went to Chistopol and then to Tashkent." "Akhmatova in Chistopol." "The light of the street lamp lit her face." "It was desperate." "I took her by the hand and led her towards the house." "Anna asked me about Tsvetaeva." ""It's strange", I said." """The same river, the same cold day, the puddle and the board." "" A month ago I helped Marina go across the puddle." "She asked me about Anna." ""And now there's no Marina." ""And you ask me about her" ""on the same spot."" "The deep has swallowed my beloved" "And my parent's possessions are taken away" "We're walking with you, Marina," "Along the dark streets today." "And behind us millions are moving, there's no other more silent flow, with funeral bells tolling and the whining blizzard covering our tracks with the freshly fallen snow." "We allowed such harmful literature as the works by Zoshenko and Akhmatova." "No one from our great Writers' Union opposed anything to them." "Akhmatova has never been regarded as a prominent poet." "It's surprising why young people picked her up and made a banner out of her." "In the morning I went to the Writers' Union knowing nothing." "Girls were blowing their noses and wiping their tears." "I was asked: "Will you go to the Smolny today?"" ""No", I said, "I'm not going." "It's too hot."" "On my way home I saw Misha Zoshenko on the other side of the street." "He rushed to me, kissed my hand and asked:" ""Should we tolerate all this, Anna Andreevna?"" "I knew he had some troubles at home." "I said: "Yes, you should."" "The notice certifying a postal delivery to Akhmatova." "Lefortovo Security Prison" "Prisoner Lev Gumilov received 200 roubles." "tea, sugar, pork fat, meat and 8 packets of tobacco ..." "In 1949 numerous arrests were made among those who had returned from prisons." "Lev Gumilov was among them." "Anna Andreevna had a serious heart attack." "On May 5, 1954, Zoshenko and I were summoned urgently to the Leningrad House of Writers." ""A British student delegation wants to see you."" "I said: "I'm ill."" ""No, you must come, or else they'll say you have been dealt with too."" "They sent a car for me." "I anticipated a catastrophe." "I looked into their faces but couldn't guess who'd ask." "They asked Zoshenko's attitude to the Decision." "He said he was first shocked but its unjust nature, but then he understood that many things in that document were fair." "There was only slight applause." "I was waiting." ""And what is Madame Akhmatova's attitude to the Decision?"" "I got up and said:" ""I regard Comrade Zhdanov's speech and the Party's Decision as correct!"" "Silence followed." "Mikhail Mikhailovich proved to be more naive than I thought him to be." "He imagined that he could explain something to them." "I such cases one could reply only the way I did." "Poor Mishenka ... went out of his mind." "He lost the second round." "The man was destroyed." "I thought sadly:" "I've had a lousy life." "I don't like these ideas." "In the last 15 years I've been scared many a time." "The writer with a scared soul is lost to literature." "They are going home." "Now prisoners will return and two Russias will look at each other's face:" "the one which imprisoned and the one which was imprisoned." "A new epoch began." "We lived up to it." "When I was visiting Akhmatova at the Ardov's home the door suddenly opened and a man walked it." ""Are you acquainted?"" " No." " Meet my son." "Her sleepless nights, meetings and no meetings," "Little windows, dirty floors, summons, parcels, a hair enclosed in a notebook of poems, burnt poems, the walls of this room - all is permeated by thoughts about him, by poems written to him." "All trees and dawns outside her window, scars on the muscles of her heart." "Two decades of her life." "The poet Boris Pasternak." "I adore this man." "True, he's unbearable." "He came to me yesterday to explain that he's worthless." "I told him: "My dear friend," ""even if you hadn't have written anything for the past 10 years, all the same you are one of the greatest poets of the 20th century."" "I'm in a car." "The young driver turns suddenly to me and asks:" ""Did you read it?" "One writer, I think his name is Paster," ""sold his book to foreign enemies where he says that he hates the Soviet people." "He was paid a million $ for that." ""He eats our bread and spits on ours." "Here's the paper."" "And he offered me the "Pravda"." "What haters of people we are!" "We didn't give you Pasternak's verses in time to read and understand so that you could treat this issue of the paper the way it deserves to be treated." "A real hunt is on for the soul of an ordinary man." "Peredelkino." "I didn't know if the news had reached Pasternak that he'd been expelled from the Union the day before." "I pushed open the gate and walked in." ""Is Boris Leonidovich in?"" ""Yes, he is."" "He was coming towards me looking at me intently." ""Am I expelled?" he asked." "I nodded." ""My friends say I must go to town." "For here they could stone me." ""It's nonsense, isn't it?"" "I'd read Semichastny's speech in the "Komsomolskaya Pravda"." ""Sometimes we say about a pig that it is this and that ..." ""It's slandering the pig."" ""A pig never fouls the place where it eats." ""If we compare Pasternak with the pig," ""the pig will never do what Pasternak did."" "Applause." "The time element is more complex that the space element." "That day was awful but it was a day of your life." "You want that day to return, you want to begin your life from the moment it was interrupted at." "You want it to be glued in the place where it was axed." "But this is impossible." "The justice that triumphs after many years is not that justice which your heart aspired for then." "And your heart is not the same now." "I wish you could see that man!" "Solzhenitsin is indescribable." "He should be seen in person, in addition to his story "One Day of Ivan Denisovich."" "I read my poems to him and he said:" ""I knew that you're writing what cannot be printed."" "He said he writes a lot of prose." "And I told him: "Do you know that in a month you'll be the most famous man?"" ""I do,"" ""but that won't last long."" ""Will you endure the fame?"" ""I've got strong nerves."" ""I've endured Stalin's camps."" "He's a great writer, giving us back our language, loving Russia as Blok has put it:" ""deadly insulted by love."" "" ..." "And if sometimes my country wants to raise a lasting monument to me" "I give consent to this my fame," "With only one condition: not to place it by the sea where I was born " "My ties with open seas are broken now " "Not there in parkland, by the tree where the restless shade still haunts in vain," "But here where I kept my vigil" "And where the locks were heedless of my grief," "Lest I forget in death's last sleep" "How the fateful Black Marias rumbled," "Or how the dreadful door would crash," "Or how the women wailed like wounded beasts," "So then the melting snow, like tears, shall drop from my unmoving, bronze-cast eyes," "The prison dove shall coo nearby" "And watch the passing ships along the Neva." "There is something odd about the human soul ..." "Poems, even the greatest, fail to make the author happy." "Pushkin knew." "He wrote "The Bronze Horseman"." "Yet, he wasn't happy." "But we can say with confidence that more than anything else" "Pushkin wanted to write more." "And what about Akhmatova?" "Now, let me warn you that this is the last time that I'll exist" "No, not as water from a well," "Nor reed, nor evening star" "Nor maple leaves rustling afar," "Nor distant tolling bell." "I shall not trouble people at all," "I shall not disturb their sad dreams" "As stifled groan or wail" "quoted in the film are" ""Sketches of Anna Akhmatova" by Lydia Chikovskaya" "script:" "Semyon Aranovich, Elena Ignatova directed by Semyon Aranovich" "Camera:" "Valery Myulgaut" "Arkady Rozeltul, Anatoly Shafran" "Lyudmila Krasnova, Vadim Ilyin" "Alexander Gorkov, Stanislav Okhapkin artist:" "Vladimir Solovyov composers:" "Sofia Gubaidulina, Alexander Knaifel sound:" "Galina Gorbonosova" "the end" "Sovexport Studio, subtitles, 1989" "Transcription of Engl. subtitles, slight corrections and new timings:" "serdar202 @ KG 2016"