"I'll kill myself, there's no other way out." "I could hardly play tonight." " Why?" " I got another wire from Moscow." "Take a bow, Monsieur Boroff." "Excuse me." "I've got to kill myself." "Mr. Canfield, can you get me a knife, a gun, a tall building?" " You've had wires from Moscow before." " Not like this one." "I told you they would not let me stay in Paris." "If they knew I was writing a score for your picture..." " They want you there, Monsieur Boroff." " They want me in Moscow, too." "I'm lost." "Give me that wire." "I'll take care of it." "Now, don't worry." "What?" "No more bows?" "What am I talking about?" "Soon I won't have a head to take a bow with." "They're sending three commissars to take me back to Moscow." " Do you know what that means?" " Come, now." "Not one, not two, but three commissars." "Yes, I know." "But, Mr. Canfield..." "Now look, I'll go and see if there are any messages." "You wait for me in the Mirror Room." "Order two brandies... and stop worrying." "Come." "We talk to him now." "Very casual." "Don't frighten him." "Smile." " I haven't smiled in 30 years." " Try." "Good evening, Comrade Boroff." "We are great admirers of your beautiful music." "My name is Brankov." "This is Comrade Bibinski, that's Comrade Ivanov." "You seem nervous, Comrade Boroff." "You have come after me?" "It is true that the Commissar of Art suggested that we look you up... say hello and point out a few things." "He wanted us to tell you how much Russia loves you... how much she needs you." "And how nice it would be if you came back to Russia with us." " Or else..." " Boroff, what's up?" "These gentlemen, my Comrades from Moscow... say that I must come back to Russia with them." "That's impossible." "He's going to write the score for my picture." "That's impossible!" "For a composer like Boroff to write the music for a capitalistic picture..." " is degrading." " And very profitable." "He'll receive $50,000." "How much taxes will Russia get on $50,000?" "$50,000." "Furthermore, Comrades... his name will become world famous." "This is no ordinary picture." "It stars that incomparable artist, Peggy Dayton." "Look at her." " Looks very intelligent." " And very talented, Comrades." "And what lovely eyes." "It is no matter." "Boroff must return with us." "It is the wish of the Soviet government." " What about the French government?" " What do they have to do with a Russian?" "First you must establish that he is a Russian citizen." "Of course he's a Russian citizen." "A product of pure Russian culture!" " And a French father." " Do not talk nonsense." " You never told me." " Nor did your mother, apparently." "I have in my possession an affidavit from one Pierre Bouchard... a French traveling salesman who carried a line of farm machinery... through Russia in the 1920s." "That's right, isn't it?" " Please show us the affidavit." " I'll produce it when necessary." "Also, in 20 minutes, I'll have an injunction restraining you... from taking French citizen Boroff out of Paris." "The Russian government will fight this outrage!" "Undoubtedly, but in courts it will take time." "Meanwhile, Boroff will stay in Paris." "We must communicate with Moscow at once." "Fifi, Suzette, Gabrielle!" "What a surprise!" "I'm so glad to see you." "I'd like to introduce my friend..." "Mr. Boroff..." " and..." " Brankov." " Bibinski." " Ivanov." "The boys just got in from Russia." "We haven't been too hospitable to our dear Comrades, have we?" "How about us having a little drink?" "We can go back to business later." "Will you ladies join us?" " Yes." " Yes, enchanted." "That's just wonderful." "You lads must be very thirsty, aren't you?" "Are we thirsty, Comrades?" "Waiter!" "We'll get a larger table in here and then..." "Comrades!" "Comrades, you're too intelligent not to see it." "Here we have the leading Soviet composer, Boroff... lending his art to a Peggy Dayton picture which will circle the globe... in CinemaScope." "Just think, the Iron Curtain dissolved by music." "Why, it's absolutely sensational." "What a gesture of goodwill on the part of the Russians." "And... what propaganda!" " Propaganda." " Propaganda." "You three will have to stay here and supervise and help." "You'll become national heroes." "Comrade Bibinski, he has a very strong point." "Propaganda." "Bibi, this may mean the Order of Lenin for you." "You can't throw away this opportunity for greatness." "Can we throw away this opportunity for greatness?" "Comrades, perhaps we should stay here for a while." "We've got to sacrifice our own feelings for the good of the Party." " I go and register." " There's no need." "I've already made a reservation." "The Royal Suite." " Royal?" " You deserve the best." "While you're in it, it will be called The Workers' Suite." "Then we stay." "Too bad... but for the sake of Russia..." "In view of your counter-revolutionary activities... compounded by malfeasance in office... former Commissar of Art, you are hereby arrested." "You cannot do this to me." "I am the Commissar of Art." "Stop!" "I am the new Commissar of Art." " My name is Markovitch." "Any questions?" " Comrade Commissar..." "I'll ask the questions." "What are they doing?" "Peter Boroff's tone poem, Ode to a Tractor." "Peter Boroff!" "Don't you know that Peter Boroff may not come back from Paris... and if he does not, he no longer has any talent." "Yes, Comrade Commissar." "I will audition everyone individually." "Starting with her." " Take everybody else out." " Come, ladies." "Start dancing." " Vassili!" " Darling." "I have made it." "Finally I am Commissar." "And now you can make me Prima Ballerina." "Patience, little one." "But you promised me that as soon as you would become Commissar... you would make me Prima Ballerina and throw out this horrible Kranilovska." "Patience." "Kranilovska has power." "She has nothing." "She is fat and ugly and she cannot dance." "I know, but she is my wife." "Markovitch." "Yes, Comrade Minister." "Nice of you to..." "What?" "But how can I be in trouble already?" "I just sat down." "The Boroff matter?" "I wasn't the one who sent those three idiots after Boroff." "So why is it my fault?" "That is true, there is no one else." "I will go to work on it immediately." "I will send a special envoy who..." "You have a suggestion?" "Comrade Yoschenko?" "I had in mind..." "But if you say Yoschenko, that's who it will be." "I will ask Yoschenko to come here and..." "You have already arranged it." "Oh, thank you." "May I say that I think Yoschenko is a splendid choice." "Who is Yoschenko?" "I don't know." "I will look him up." "I want to look somebody up." "Does this office have a copy of Who's Still Who?" "It's in the library, Comrade Commissar." "Good." "Comrade Yoschenko is here to see you." "Vera, you go look him up." "Report to me later." "Send in the Comrade." "Comrade Yoschenko reporting." " You are Yoschenko?" " I am." "You are a woman." "I'm also Yoschenko." "My credentials." "But you are a woman." "The Commissar has good powers of observation." "The Comrade Minister said, but he didn't tell me..." "I'm not so sure if, for this job, a woman will..." "Physically a woman is not equipped to..." "When the Minister sent me he did not say it was for a discussion of biology." " Please sit down." " I will stand." "You are my superior." "I prefer to maintain revolutionary discipline." "Just what I have always maintained." "Let us get down to business." "You are familiar with Peter Ilyitch Boroff's music?" "You are a music lover?" " Music is essential for parades." " Of course." "A couple of months ago, some idiot let Boroff get to Paris... and, naturally, he wants to stay there." "What do you mean "naturally"?" "I mean, he is weak." "He is not strong like us." "Paris has seduced him." "And it also seems to have seduced the men that went after him." "They are weak fools." "You are too kind to them." "It seems to me that seduction can only take place when one is willing." "Yes." "I can see that you would think that." " Have you ever been to Paris?" " No." "I have never been outside the Soviet Union." "I have spent many years in Paris." "I got very close to the French people." "In fact, they deported me three times." "Now... about this assignment." "It is not very simple." "To me, it is quite simple." "A Soviet artist has betrayed his trust." "He must be brought back here with no adverse publicity, at once." "Thus, I will leave at once." "Comrade Yoschenko!" "Maybe I should send someone along with you." "Comrade Commissar... if you had looked at my credentials a little less casually... you would have noticed at the age of 16..." "I formally rejected all bourgeois pleasure and indulgence... to become the head of an anti-aircraft gun crew." "At 18, I became the captain of a woman's tank corps." "And for the past five years..." "I have been assigned to the job of rectifying the mistakes... made by foolish commissars." "Darling, I have looked it up!" "Comrade Yoschenko is a woman." "That's your opinion." "We can go back to the Lido... or we can take in the Folies Bergère tonight." "What a cigar!" "Maybe we should send a box to the Commissar of Art?" "Sure." "And maybe we should send him some postcards, too." "From the Ritz Bar and the Folies Bergère... all the places we could be shot for visiting." "But, Colette... you're not going to let your husband spoil our whole evening, are you?" "All right." "Au revoir, my darling." "Colette has to spend the evening with her husband." "Then Gabrielle must be free." "She goes with Colette's husband." "We have plenty of time for Colette and all the girls." "These delicious legal delays may take weeks, months, maybe years." "Not that we're not working on our mission." "I am still prevailing upon Canfield... to show us the affidavit concerning Boroff's father." "Bibi, don't prevail too much." "Entrez!" "Télégramme, Monsieur." "Merci beaucoup." "Bibinski, for you." ""Former Commissar on extended leave of absence." ""Envoy Extraordinary arrives Friday, 7:00, with full power." ""Your authority cancelled herewith." ""Markovitch. "" "Extended leave of absence." "That means he's dead!" "Comrades, the Envoy will be here in 10 minutes." "We must meet him in the lobby." "But now we have to get the affidavit at once... from Canfield, immediately." "And warn him not to mention Boroff is writing music for him." "Operator!" "Mr. Canfield's suite." "Yeah, hurry up." "Comrade?" "Would you be Bibinski, Brankov and Ivanov?" "Yes." "I'm Nina Yoschenko, Envoy Extraordinary... acting under direct orders of Comrade Commissar Markovitch." "Comrade." "What a charming idea for Moscow to surprise us with a lady Comrade." "If we would've known we would have greeted you with flowers." "What are we doing in a place like this?" "This looks more like a palace than a hotel." "True, but that's Paris for you, actually it's very second rate." "Boroff is living here, we thought we'd stay close." "So that we can observe all his movements." "We're wasting time, where do we go?" " It's on the fourth floor." "Porter!" " Madame?" " What do you want?" " May I have your bags?" " Why?" " He's a porter, he wants to carry them." "Why?" "Why should you carry other people's bags?" " It's my business, Madame." " That's no business." "That's social injustice." " Allow me, Comrade." " No, thank you." "How can such a civilization survive... where women are permitted to wear things like these." "Here, Comrade." "I prefer the stairs." " But it's on the fourth floor." " I will walk." "You take the elevator." "Comrade." "Here, Comrade." "This is the apartment we reserved for you, Comrade Yoschenko." "I hope you like it." "Which part of the room is mine?" "You see, it's different here." "They don't rent rooms in pieces." " We had to take the whole suite." " The whole suite." "On account of the prestige of the Soviet Union." "We, ourselves, we would be much happier... with a little room next to servants quarters." "Which we are now going to move into." "Comrades, your report was received with great disfavor in Moscow." "You have handled the situation very strangely." " Comrade Bibinski?" " Yes, Comrade?" "Do you spell Bibinski with two B's or three?" "With two B's, if you please." "Well, here I am, boys." "Where's the big bad..." "This is Comrade Nina Yoschenko, Envoy Extraordinary of the Soviet Union." "Extraordinary is hardly the word." "And, this is the Mr. Canfield we mentioned in our report." "And that's the document." "May I see the affidavit, please?" "By all means." "I'd like to meet this man... this Pierre Bouchard who claims to be Boroff's father." "As you see, he's a traveling salesman." "Unfortunately, he's still traveling." "And you are responsible for this paper?" "What is your connection with Boroff?" "Well, he's going to write..." "I mean, I was just helping him because he wants to stay in Paris." "Anyone who wants to stay in Paris deserves help." "If you want to stay, I'll help you." " I want to talk to this man alone." "Leave us." " Yes, Comrade." " Do you think you might need help?" " No." "I will not need help." "Don't go too far." "I might." " Mr. Canfield, you are an American?" " Yes, ma'am." "Tell me, in America, are you one of the oppressors or one of the oppressed?" "One of the oppressors, definitely." "Aren't you ashamed?" "Come now, as one oppressor to the other... you know it's the best spot to be in." " Let's get down to business." " Yes." "Tell me... is it Miss Comrade Yoschenko or Mrs. Comrade Yoschenko?" "Please don't make an issue of my womanhood." "Don't say that, I was looking forward to it." "I want to warn you." "Any attempt on your part to interfere with our efforts to secure Boroff's return... will be met with legal action from my government." "We'll hold you liable and accountable for all damages sustained by us." "You know something, you ought to play Portia." "I have." "In Gorky's Merchant of Venice." "Let me tell you a few things about this affidavit." "I tell you what." "I won't make an issue of your womanhood if you won't make an issue of my affidavit." "Mr. Canfield..." "I am here to represent the Soviet Union in a most urgent matter." "And I demand that you take this seriously." "I'll do that." "Monday morning, I will meet with attorneys at the Russian Embassy." " We will obtain a writ of replevin." " All right." "And I'll get a judiciary habeas of the Magna Carta." " What's that?" " I don't know, but it scared you, didn't it?" "Why can't you understand this is no laughing matter?" "Comrade... we're in Paris, in the spring." "Why can't we make it a laughing matter?" "Really, Mr. Canfield." "It's quite obvious what you have done to Bibinski, Brankov and Ivanov." "But if you think you will do the same thing to me... you had better stop right now." "I didn't do anything to the commissars." "Paris did." "It did it to them, it did it to me, it'll do it to you." "Let me show you something." "Come on, don't be afraid." "Just look." "Comrade, face your enemy." "I resent being preached to about electricity." "You forget we invented it." "I wasn't talking about electricity." "I was talking about lights." "Your attitude is typical of the male in capitalistic society." "You will soon be extinct." " How long have I got left?" " Do not misunderstand me." "As basic material, you might not be bad... but you are the unfortunate product of a doomed culture." "I feel sorry for you." "You must admit that this doomed old civilization of ours sparkles." "It glitters." "Later this evening, I will go for a walk and observe your lights." "If you go by yourself you won't see them." "Tell me." "How many watts of electricity are consumed by this pleasure city?" "I haven't the slightest idea." "Why don't we go out on the town together and find out?" "The things I want to see can be seen better in daylight." "The Municipal Works, the Renault automobile factory, the sewerage system." " Will you show me those?" " I would hate to." " Then I will go alone." " What time shall I pick you up?" "Meet me in the lobby tomorrow morning at 6:30." "6:30?" "Can't you make it a little later, say, 2:00?" "All right, dawn it is." "Don't you ever have any desires to see the pleasures of Paris?" "Pleasures." "Paris." "How was it you said?" ""The urge to merge with a splurge. "" "That's right." "Hold it!" "Hold it, please." "Miss Dayton, is this your first trip to Paris?" "Miss Dayton is going directly to the Studio De Paris." "Mr. Canfield has arranged a press conference there." "Reporters!" "And I tried to sneak in." "I tell you, I'm..." " Just a few questions." " I'd love it." "How about you and Rock Northwood?" "There's no truth to the rumors, we're just good friends." "How about Marlon Bancroft?" "There's absolutely no truth to the rumors, we're just good friends." "Miss Dayton, I am Peter Boroff." "Yes, Mr. Canfield wired about you." "You're doing a few tunes for the picture." " Where is Canfield?" " He will meet you at the studio." "Oh, swell." "If I can travel 6,000 miles for his picture, he could at least meet me at the airport." "Is there anything between you and Boroff?" "Of course not." "We're just good friends." "Let's pick it up at the conference." "Yes, I'd love it." " Mr. Canfield, she's here." " She's here." "Darling!" "Thanks for nothing, why weren't you at the airport?" "Ladies and gentlemen, Peggy Dayton." "The star of the picture I'm about to produce in Paris." "This is Miss Dayton's first serious, non-swimming picture." "You're not swimming at all?" "I'm going to play my first dramatic part." "I've always wanted to do one." "Besides, on account of my ears..." "I'm not allowed to swim any more in pictures." "But you're America's Swimming Sweetheart." "Boys, I've had it." "I've really had it." "The Girl from the Sleepy Lagoon." "The Cowboy and the Mermaid." "Neptune's Mother." "I never got a chance to dry off." "No, from now on, I'm just going to swim socially." "Hold it, Miss Dayton." "The point is this:" "for the first time we're going to use..." "Miss Dayton's genuine and real ability as a dramatic actress." "What's this new picture you're doing?" "I can't tell you much, but it's based on a book." "What book?" "It wouldn't mean much in the newspapers." "I just heard about it myself." " But it's terrific." "A real sleeper." " Not exactly a sleeper." "A novel long neglected but ever eternal, if you know what I mean." " I don't, what's the name of it?" " War and Peace." "It will make a wonderful picture once it's boiled down." "Of course, that title will have to go." "How do you feel about Tolstoy?" " Who?" " Tolstoy." " Who's that?" " He wrote War and Peace." "Oh, that Tolstoy." "There's absolutely no truth to the rumors, we're just good friends." "Actually, we're only using a segment of War and Peace." "A lighter moment and perfectly suited to Miss Dayton's personality." "Who is making the adaptation?" " Who is the director?" " Who is in the cast?" "Boys, I haven't had a chance to think about all that." "Writing, directing, cast." "Those things don't mean a thing today." "Today there are many other things that are much more important." "Good morning." " You didn't expect to see me, did you?" " Frankly, no." "Shall we begin with the Municipal Works?" "I'd like to show you the Paris a woman ought to see." "I am here in the interest of my government." "If we are to spend the day together... forget I am a woman and forget you are a man." "That's right." "I'm so sorry." "Let's go out there like a couple of steam shovels." "What would you like to do next?" "I hear there's a stunning boiler room over at the cement factory." " What in the world is that?" " A dog." "A French poodle." "Incredible." " Isn't he cute?" " So ridiculous and useless." "Can't you ever accept something because it's amusing or appealing?" "Does everything have to further the interests of the State?" "It is best that way." "I've never known anyone like you." "I've never known anyone to resist enjoyment the way you do." "Now, the way you picked at that dinner." "You know you never had food like that in Moscow." "In Russia, we eat for strength and nourishment." "Besides, the service in this cafe is abominable." "The waiters are much too slow." "Yes, I know." "I spoke to the manager, he says he can't do a thing with them." " Why not?" " They're communists." "I don't think that's funny." "You're offended!" "Be careful, you're behaving like a woman... and I might behave like a man." "What do you mean by that?" "Now really, Ninotchka." "I want to ask you a serious question." "Are you flirting with me?" "Of course." "No question about it." "Suppress it." "It might be interesting for you, as a sociological study." "Come, let's go where we can be alone." "Here we are." "I'll work on this tonight." "You will have them in the morning." " Worker!" "Brother." " Madame." "Where is the little comrades' room?" "Just at the end of the hall." "Pierre, about that paper you signed for the lawyer." "Oui, monsieur." "Where I am the father of the young Russian composer?" "That's right." "Be careful, this lady is trying to find out about you." " Where you are." " I'll be very discreet, monsieur." "But don't you think Papa could be paid a little more money?" "Papa has been paid enough already." "But on the other hand, if Papa is not taken care of... there could be serious trouble." "It would be very sad." "What is the matter, little brother?" "Are you unhappy?" "Little brother is not at all unhappy." "Little brother will get everything he wishes if little brother will just blow." "Oui, monsieur." "Goodbye, little brother." "Why do you do that?" "Because you're absurd and irresistible." "Ninotchka, don't you like me at all?" "The arrangement of your features is not entirely repulsive to me." "Thank you." "Don't you think, in time, you might go a little further than that?" "I have not seen the rest of you." " Ninotchka, Ninotchka..." " You are repeating yourself." "Won't you sit down?" "Why do you do that?" "Don't you like music?" "It does not interest me." "I suppose you use it to induce a more romantic mood." "Yes, by Heaven, I do." " Should you not turn the lights down?" " Yes, I should." "Is this what is known as the courtship?" "The build up." "The pitch." "Then I shall get out my little black book and make notes." "I have disturbed you." "In a way, yes." "Because you have a schoolboy approach to life." "In Russia when someone wants someone, he says:" ""You!" ""Come here!"" "You mad, romantic Russians." "If you had studied Kamichev, you would know what I'm talking about." "Who's Kamichev?" "One of our greatest scientists." "He has proved beyond any question that physical attraction... is purely electro-chemical." " You don't say." " Kamichev has proven it." "For 30 years he worked." "I've worked on the same subject for the same amount of time... and I have very good reasons for believing otherwise." "Facts are facts." " You don't believe in Kamichev?" " No, ma'am." " Then what is your theory?" " My theory is: there is no theory." "But you are attracted to me, and obviously there must be scientific reasons." "There are reasons, but they have nothing to do with electro-magnets." "Kamichev once observed the behavior of 40 turtles... for three months and he discovered..." "You just don't react, chemically or otherwise, do you?" "Don't you ever let yourself go?" "Go where?" "I don't know, just go." "Don't you ever feel so happy you just want to dance around the room?" "Happiness is the reward of industry and labor." "Dancing is a waste of time." "I like wasting time." "Well?" "You go, go, go, but you don't get anywhere." "You're telling me." "So dancing is a waste of time?" "You seem to know quite a bit about it." " Once, a few years ago..." " Yes?" "Look..." "I know perfectly well the pleasures of music and dancing." "But pleasure itself is an indulgence." "Only by denying selfish interests can one properly serve the State." "You." "Come here." "That was restful." "Again." "Your tie, what is it made of?" "Why?" "Silk." "Silk should be used for parachutes." "Well..." "I certainly hope I'm intruding." "Naturally, but come in." "This is Peggy Dayton, America's beloved swimming star." "Comrade Nina Yoschenko of the Soviet Union." " Hello." " We were having a business meeting." "Sure you were, on the floor?" "Why should it bother you if we are on the floor?" "Is there something between you?" "Of course not, we're just good friends." "Doesn't anybody ever ask anything else around here?" "And listen, you." "We may not even be good friends before this picture's finished." "About that Boroff, that creep's been following me around all day." " Creep?" " He played me some of his music." "Honey, you have got to be kidding." "I think his music is lousy." " Peggy." " Miss Dayton." "Even Americans admit that Boroff is the greatest living composer." "When you insult him, you insult Russian culture." "If you will excuse me." "Wait a minute, I'm not through with you." "Ninotchka, please..." "That was mighty tactful of you." "What do you want?" "I read the script, I don't dig it." "Did you read all of it?" "Did you read all of it?" "You know I never read any part except my own." "Steve, it's just not right for me." "It's cute and all that, but I have to think about my following." " Your what?" " My fans!" "If I show up in a picture where I not only don't swim... but I don't even do one musical number, they're gonna clobber me." "I don't want to turn it into a musical, it's too expensive." "Steve, it'll be worth every penny." "We'll just use that stuff in the French court... and I'll play Josephine." " It's a natural." " Hold everything." "And I got a great title:" "Not Tonight." "I'll give it some thought." "I wonder if we can use Boroff's music?" " No, he's too square." " Don't be silly." "Think of the prestige of having Peter Boroff write music for your picture." " You know what prestige means." " Pictures that don't make money." " This'll make money." " Steve, he's so longhair." "Peggy, Tchaikovsky wrote an overture for Romeo and Juliet." "And you know what it turned into?" "Our Love Is Like A Melody." "Say, that was a great song." "You think we could get him?" "He's not available." "Another Russian composer, Borodin, get this:" "Sure, but those boys had great tunes to work on." "With your quick musical ear, I'm sure if you listen to..." "Ode to a Tractor, you'll discover a wonderful theme in it." "Even better than Tchaikovsky." "With the right words and you singing it, we can't miss." "Of course, there is one catch." "Boroff may not want his music made into a popular song." "Why not?" "Because he's a serious musician and doesn't know any better." " So you may have to persuade him." " How can I persuade him?" "Because we're built differently." "Comrade, you said today's communication from Markovitch... ordered us to meet with the French officials immediately." "How can we pressurize them into revoking Boroff's visa?" "Yes, how?" "I think Moscow will extend our stay if we request it." "Perhaps you didn't understand the question, Comrade." "Everyday the management puts fresh flowers in the rooms." " What a lovely gesture." " Yes, it is." "If we prevail upon the French officials as representatives of..." "Why don't you get a haircut?" "You always look so wintry, Comrades." "And why do we always keep the windows closed?" "Isn't it amazing?" "At home, there is still snow and ice... and here, look at the birds." "I always felt a little hurt... when our swallows deserted us in winter for capitalistic countries." "Now I know why." "We have the high ideal... but they have the climate." "About meeting with the officials..." "I won't need you any more, Comrades." "I will find Boroff and talk to him myself." "Would you like to go out?" " Yes, Comrade." " Have you any money?" "No, Comrade." "Here are 1,000 francs." "Thank you, Comrade." "Thank you very much." "Bring back 500 francs." "Naturally, Comrade." "Leopard print jersey." "Mad!" "I love them!" "They'll be wonderful for barbecues." " I'll take six." " Merci, Mademoiselle." "I was to meet Miss Dayton." "Mr. Boroff, baby, I'm so glad you could make it." "You come right in and sit down here, because I won't buy a thing you don't like." "Trousers to match..." "I don't know very much about ladies." "Nonsense, an artist is an artist." "Speaking of artists, wait until you hear me sing some of your tunes." "Sing?" "Archie Birch, the lyric writer, is in Paris." "I showed him your stuff." "Baby, you will not believe... what he dug up out of your Ode to a Tractor." "Commercial, but with class." "I flipped over the one he calls Josephine." " But my music is not for singing." " But, Mr. Boroff, baby... didn't you ever hear about Tchaikovsky and Borodin?" "Tchaikovsky and Borodin are different." "As composers, they have what is in Russia, a great advantage." " Oh, what's that?" " They are dead." "Mr. Boroff, baby, you see, music in America has to be sort of..." "But my music is part of Russian culture." "I can't do it, Miss Dayton." "Please, ask me anything else." "Mr. Boroff, baby, you see, that's all I want." "I've got everything else." "And, if you could do this little old thing for me... we could see a lot more of each other." "You know, dinners... and things like that." " The fitting room is ready, mademoiselle." " Oh, wonderful." "Come and watch me being fitted." " I think I'd better wait here." " All right." "Well, I'll tell you what." "You just sit right down over here and I'll be right back." " Comrade Boroff." " Nina!" " How did you know I was here?" " I had the commissars track you down." "We must clear up this citizenship nonsense and you must return to Russia." "Nina, I want to tell you something." "I am not sure that I wish to return to Russia." "Someone might be listening." "I've learned things in Paris." "Here you can be what you wish." "You can utter dissenting ideas in a very loud voice." "The views here are different." "Very different!" "Tell me, Comrade... when a woman wears things like that... is it really so attractive to a man?" "In a word:" "Da!" "Nina, please, I would like to attend to some unfinished business here." "May I call you at your hotel at 4:00?" "We can discuss my citizenship then." " 4:00, without fail?" " Without fail." "No, I tell you, the light's better out here." " But the fitting room..." " This is fine." "I can see what I have on." " How does it look?" " Perfect." "But we could alter the undergarments so the line would be smoother." "Good." "It's what is under the dress that counts." "You know?" "Yes?" "Oh, Boroff." "Something urgent has come up, Boroff." "I must postpone our meeting." "Yes." "Oh, no." "It can't be." " I don't look too foolish?" " Foolish?" "Why, you're only the most beautiful girl in Paris." "I'll prove it to you." "We'll cover the town." "Look here, it's 2:00 in the morning." "Stop telling me the time every five minutes." "We will wait here for Ninotchka." "Messieurs, I..." "I just got your call." " I was having a manicure." " At 2:00 in the morning?" "I cannot sleep with long fingernails." "What are we doing here anyway?" "Our esteemed chairman insists on telling Comrade Yoschenko... all about Boroff's music being in Canfield's picture." "But why?" "She'll stop it." "It is her right as our superior." "But why don't you wait till the picture's finished?" "Look, Bibi, if all goes well, you could be a hero." "Suppose all doesn't go well." "I don't want to be a hero." "I want to live simple and die natural." "We must tell her everything before she accuses us." "But how can she accuse us of something she knows nothing about?" "Maybe Canfield told her." "Maybe she is now just waiting to see if we tell her." "Maybe." "Don't be so Russian." "It might interest you to know... that Comrade Yoschenko got a telephone call from Moscow today." " How do you know?" " From me." "I wish I'd never opened my big mouth." " But how did you find out?" " This afternoon, in my room... when I was teaching Marxism to the telephone operator." "But we don't know what the call was about." "Steven, look who's here." "Is this what it's like in Russia?" "You take a girl home to find three party members waiting?" "We don't mean to intrude... but I have a very important piece of information for you." "And I have one for you, Bibinski." "I have made a discovery." "Champagne is more fun to drink..." " than goat's milk." " She has a truly scientific mind." "Comrade Yoschenko, this is important." "I must tell you immediately." "I'd like to point out, I feel the same way." "I insist that you hear about this." "I wouldn't let Bibi sleep before he tells you." "Comrades, must we talk business on a night like this... when there are so many more... beautiful things?" "I must tell you the truth about Boroff's music." "This is neither the time nor the place." "Let them settle their business... and we will get back to beautiful things." "Very well." "What is it?" "Comrade Special Envoy Yoschenko, I feel it is my duty... to tell you that Peter Boroff's composition, Ode to a Tractor... is being used in Mr. Canfield's motion picture." "Wonderful." "I think everything should have music." "Meeting adjourned." " Comrade Yoschenko..." " It means we are dismissed." " Good night." " Good night." "Maybe we should stay awhile... just to be sociable." "Steven..." "I am very happy." "As we walked down the Champs Élyssées..." "I wasn't interested that it was three feet narrower than the Nevsky Prospect." "I just thought, "How beautiful. "" "For the first time in my life I looked at something... and thought, "How beautiful"... instead of, "How useful. "" "Oh, Steven, all Paris is beautiful." "You're the most beautiful Commissar I've ever met." "I love you dearly." "And you are beautiful." "What would Kamichev say to this?" " Who?" " Kamichev." "Your Russian authority on sex." "I will tell you something." "Kamichev did not know what he was talking about." "The great Kamichev?" "Working all those years?" "Kamichev." "All you have to do is look at Mrs. Kamichev... and you will know he didn't know a thing about it." "I want to make a speech." " Now?" " Now." "All right, go ahead." "No, I don't want to make a speech." "I want to confess." "Spend the entire day with me tomorrow." "I feel so much happiness it makes me miserable." "I feel so gay, I am forgetting I am Russian." "I am forgetting why I came to Paris." "You came to Paris to meet me." "Oh, I am too happy." "Nobody can be so happy without being punished." "I should be punished, I am a traitor." "I should be stood against the wall." "All right, we'll stand you against the wall." "Now." "Right here." "I have paid the penalty." "I feel better." "We can't have this." "Are you all right?" "We've come to watch the filming of Peter Boroff's music." " Mr. Canfield invited us." " Your names, please?" " Bibinski." " Brankov." "Ivanov." "Just a moment." "Comrades, this is a great day." "To see Boroff's music put on the screen." "If the picture's a success, we'll claim it's a Russian production." "Bibi, we all will be heroes of Soviet culture." "Imagine our reception when we return." " Crowds cheering." " Bands playing." " Speeches." " Applause." "Comrades!" "There you are, boys." "Where's Ninotchka?" " She said she'd meet us here." " Go ahead in." "Stage Two, second building to your right." " Hello." " Steven." "Now, before we go to the stage, there's something I've got to say to you." "Somewhere we can be alone." "No. 18 ENTRÉE" "You look so beautiful today." " Champagne agrees with you." " Suddenly everything agrees with me." "Well, we'll see." "Right there." "So we make a nice clean start." "There's something I want to confess." " You have a wife." " Nothing like that." "It's this business about Boroff's father." "There never was a traveling salesman, I invented it all to keep Boroff here." "Really?" "You realize this means I no longer have any reason for staying in Paris?" "You have the best reason in the world." "You're going to marry me." "Marry you?" "Don't look so shocked." "This is the first proposition I ever had." "Proposal." "Steve, they will never let me marry you." " Who are they?" " My government." " Forget them." " How can I?" "Ninotchka, do you want to marry me?" " If it were only possible." " Of course it's possible." "Nothing can stop us, you know why?" "Watch out." "Cables and everything all over the place." " Are we late, Al?" " We're just about ready for rehearsal." "Comrade Yoschenko." "Look." "Now, you sit here." "After this Josephine number we'll have some lunch." " We've lots to talk about." " Josephine number?" " Isn't this War and Peace?" " We've made a few changes." "We're using Boroff's music but the story's about Napoleon and Josephine." "What has that to do with Russia?" "Who gave Napoleon his crushing defeat in 1812?" "Russia." "Yes, I know." "But this is an American picture." " You're liable to have Napoleon win." " I never change the past." "Only the future." "Now, you sit right here." "I've got to check on something." "I'll be back after the number." "Grab a chair, fellas, will you?" "All set, sir." "Quiet, please." " Quiet!" " Silence!" "This is a rehearsal." "We'll run through the whole number." " Quiet!" " Silence!" " Take your positions, please." " Playback." "No!" "They cannot do this to me." "It's an outrage." "Changing my music like that." "The tempo, the whole conception." "We'll make an official protest." "You can't have your name, your music..." "There must be something we can do." "Yes, but what can we do?" "Mr. Canfield, you cannot do this." "You just cannot do this to me." "Just a minute." "Al, you better call lunch." "Lunch!" "Mr. Canfield, I warn you... if you dare to present my music like this..." "Comrade Yoschenko, I would like to explain." "Never mind." "You were at fault, but so was I. It's now my responsibility." " No, I consider it my fault." " Brankov and I feel the same way." " It's Bibinski's fault." " Let us not argue among ourselves." " The situation is far too critical." " What's so critical?" "We just saw the most insulting travesty on Russian culture that ever existed." "Now, wait a minute." "Let's not have a big tragedy over a silly little musical number." "All we did was make a popular song out of Boroff's music." "That music belongs to the Russian people." "What right have you to distort it?" "I'm afraid you don't understand." "In America, we do this all the time." "We make popular songs from classics, and millions of people enjoy them." "No one's offended, no one's insulted, no one's forced to listen, so..." " who cares?" " I care." "I care very much about something that is a part of the Russian heritage." "Will you excuse us just a minute?" "Ninotchka, I want to..." "Ninotchka, I refuse to argue with you over anything so unimportant." "The argument will be taken care of by our embassy." "I'll issue a detailed report of the entire incident." "Fine, do that." "Let them take it up, it's nothing to do with you and me." "You're quite wrong, Mr. Canfield." "It has everything to do with you and me." "Darling, please don't call me Mr. Canfield." "Mr. Canfield, please don't call me darling." "I am guilty of neglecting my duty... and betraying my whole way of life because of an emotional attachment." "I'm surprised you don't say emotional deviation." "Leading, of course, from a chemical reaction." "If you like." "No, I don't like." "Of all the reasons for breaking up, this beats them all." "I thought you were all through with this twisted political thinking." " Why, only a few moments ago..." " I know, you were kissing me." "But does every woman kissed by you change her politics?" "I thought I saw a carefully trained robot turn into a woman." "Obviously, I was wrong." "You can love the masses, but loving one man scares the daylights out of you." "That, of course, is your opinion." "It's always your opinion." "It's what you want and what you think." "Everything I do is wrong and everything you do is right." "You leave me nothing of my own." "If that's your idea of love... yes, it scares the daylights out of me." "Comrades, there's no longer any reason for us to remain in Paris." "We leave for Russia tonight." "Boroff, come with me." "I will meet you at the hotel." " Maybe South America?" " What?" "Maybe we could go to a place like South America." "But you know how they work." "If we don't return to Russia, all our relatives will be in trouble." "My relatives..." "I wouldn't mind so much." "Comrades, there's no use talking, we're in hot water." "There is no hot water in Siberia." "Siberia!" "I don't know, maybe it isn't too bad, after all?" " There's no humidity." " Plenty of winter sports." "There are places like that in Switzerland." "People pay money to go there." "Hello, operator?" "Mademoiselle, will you please connect me with Miss Yoschenko?" "Yoschenko." "In the Royal Suite." "She can't have checked out." "Are you sure?" "Thank you." " Ninotchka!" " How are you, you scoundrels?" " How good it is to..." " Nini." "Hello." " You have this whole section to yourself?" " Yes." " They could put two more families in here." " Come in." "Sit down." "How good it is to see you." "How have you been?" "Alive, thanks to your excellent report on us." "I've asked some friends to stop by." "I want you to hear something." " What?" " Later, you'll see." "Now we must celebrate." "This is the first time we've all been together since Paris." "Oh, Paris." "You know, if we close our eyes and just listen to our voices... we could imagine we are in Paris." "I can see those enormous cigars in that shop near the hotel." "I can see the marble bathrooms at the Clarence." "And I can see the girls at the Folies Bergère." "And Peggy Dayton." "I see Paris at night time." "The glittering lights." " The Arc de Triomphe." " And Peggy Dayton." " Champagne." " And Peggy Dayton." "Why should you see Peggy Dayton?" "Stick to the Folies Bergère, I'll see Peggy Dayton." "No quarrels, please." "There are enough memories for all of us." "My friends." "Mail!" "It's for you, Ninotchka, from Paris!" " From Paris?" " From Paris!" "It's from Steve." "What is it, Ninotchka?" "Bad news?" "It's all right, Ninotchka." "They can't censor our memories." "That must be my friends." "Come in." " Comrade Boroff." " Comrades, you're just in time." "May I present to you Nina Yoschenko, Ivanov..." "Brankov, Bibinski." "Sit down, Comrades." "How about over there, on the couch." "They are very fine musicians." "Comrades, will you get ready, please." "Ninotchka, you know how angry we were... when they turned my Ode to a Tractor into Josephine?" "Now, I've become fascinated with this form of music." "I'm going to play for you my latest and most decadent composition." "Listen to this with an open mind." " Ready, Comrades?" " Yes, Comrade Boroff." "It's real cool." "When commercial capitalism occupies a position... of unquestioned ascendancy... it everywhere constitutes a system of plunder and decadence." "Of all the classes that stand face to face with the bourgeoisie... the proletariat alone is a really revolutionary class." "No, no, and no!" "But I have got to get to Moscow!" "Now, why can't I have a visa?" "I've told you for weeks, Mr. Canfield, we do not let just anybody into Russia." "It is as hard to get in as it is to get out." "Just get me in, and I'll worry about getting out." "Do you really mean you want to go to Russia of your own free will?" " That's right." " Nobody's forcing you?" "No." "Very strange." "Why?" "If you must know, because I'm in love with a Russian girl." "Why didn't you say so before?" "No visa!" " Good morning, Comrade." " Good morning, Comrade Commissar." "Here is my report on the public library situation in Bryansk." "You've finished the whole investigation?" "That's marvelous." "You must have worked day and night." "Don't you ever sleep?" "I need very little sleep." "I've already started an identical survey in Rostov." "I'm afraid you will have to turn over that work to someone else." "May I ask why?" "It concerns your friends Bibinski, Ivanov and Brankov." "You must share the blame, since on the strength of your report..." "I sent them back to Paris." "What have they done?" "We have sent them on a mission concerning the sale of our films." "They have been there for weeks and haven't sold one film." "This anonymous report was sent to me." "Listen:" ""They are dragging the name of your country..." ""through every cafe and nightclub in Paris." ""How can you expect the Soviet cause to gain respect..." ""when your envoys indulge in such decadent behavior?" ""Last Thursday they got so drunk they entered a dance contest..." ""and won. "" "Something called the cha-cha-cha." "You say your report is anonymous." "How can you be sure that it is correct?" "It has been confirmed." "I want you to go to Paris and bring them back." "They can dance the cha-cha-cha in Siberia!" "Please, send somebody else." "You're the only one I can trust to put the State above personal feelings." "Please, send me any place else, but not to Paris." "Let me stay here." "Please." " Please, don't make me go to Paris." " You are wasting my time, Comrade." "Do your duty." "Yes, Comrade." "La Vieille Russie" "I must have the wrong address." "I'm looking for Bibinski, Brankov and Ivanov." " Comrade Yoschenko?" " Yes." "They're expecting you." "Allow me." "Come with me, please." "In there, please." "I will take care of this." "Entrez!" "Mademoiselle Ninotchka!" "Entrez!" "We would have met the plane, but we simply had to be here." "Look how well she looks." "Magnifique!" "Let me have your coat." "Ninotchka, you are the only woman who can come out of Russia... looking like she's never been there." "Formidable!" "Ninotchka, you arrived just in time." "In time for what?" "What is all this?" "Why are you dressed this way?" "And this place, what is it?" "What are you doing here?" "Darling, don't hold an inquisition the minute you come to Paris." "We'll answer all your questions later." "Right now the show is starting." "We should be out front." " What show?" " We'll tell you later about everything." " Now, let's get out of here." " Hurry, hurry." "Mademoiselle." "Right here, Ninotchka, s'il vous plaît." "Tell me what all this is about." "I don't want to see a show, I want to talk to you." "Welcome to Paris." "Bravo!" "Well, surprised?" "Tell me, does Steve dance here now?" "Has he given up films?" "No, it's just for tonight." "It's the opening and he's protecting his financial interest in the cafe." "He'll tell you all about it." "He'll join us in a moment." "Speaking of Canfield's interests, do you know he's madly in love?" "In fact, he's going to get married." "Married?" "I would say at the earliest possible moment." "I would say even earlier." "Mr. Canfield's plans are no concern of mine." "My business is here with you." "Let us go where we can talk." "My mission is unpleasant." "Comrades, you have done it again." "Ninotchka, we are no longer comrades." "We're friends now." "Listen to me." "You are in a desperate position." "Last time I was able to save you with my report." "It won't work this time." "We must find another way to defeat Markovitch." "Good old Markovitch!" "Is he still alive?" "How does he manage?" "I don't understand." "You're facing Siberia, and you stand here and make jokes." "Of course you don't understand." "Ninotchka, we are in no danger." " We are not going back to Siberia." " We're not going back to Russia." " Not going back?" " Let's tell her." "We have settled here." "We own this cafe." " It is ours." " We are now rotten capitalists." "And if all goes well, we'll be much more rotten than we ever dreamed." "You mean you've deserted Russia?" "Deserted Russia." "Our restaurant, this here is Russia." "The Russia of goodwill and hospitality." "Happy people." " Blinis with sour cream." " And pirozhki." "We are not only serving good food, we are making friends for our people." "I see you have made your decision." "If this is what you want..." "I'm happy for you." "There's nothing to keep me here." "No, Ninotchka, you must stay here." " You can't go without seeing Steve." " He'll be right here." "There's a midnight plane to Moscow." "I must leave now." "Ninotchka." "It was nice to see you, Steve." " I'm sorry, I must catch a plane." " Don't be angry with me." "I couldn't get into Russia, so I had to get you out." "Maybe I was a little devious about it, but at least you're here." "I am here because of an anonymous report on these three." "Anonymous!" "He wrote it." "And we helped him write it." "Why?" "It doesn't make sense." "Why did you go to so much trouble to get me out of Russia?" "Certainly it makes sense." "We told you, he's in love." "Yes, I heard you were going to be married." "Congratulations." "Darling, we're going to be married." " We?" " Yes." "You and I. Us." "I wrote and wrote you about it." "Steven..." "I only received one letter from you." "And that one they wouldn't let me read." "It began:" ""Ninotchka, my darling," and ended:" ""Yours, Steve. "" "I'm not going to tell you what came between." "But I'll prove it to you." "But it'll take a long time, Ninotchka." "At least a lifetime." "You." "Come here." "Hurrah!"