"Marco Polo, one of the world's greatest explorers." "In the 13th century, he embarked on an epic journey from Venice to China that took over three years to complete." "Now, Ricky Gervais is sending his mate Karl Pilkington to follow in his footsteps, but this time he's got a little company." "Will you stop just puffing and panting like that?" "Jesus Christ." "It's like a Primark sale." "He said if he did it again he'd want some company this time." "He meant me, but I've sent someone in my place." "Grab hold of that." "I can't see it." "They're like chalk and cheese." "Karl whinges all the time." "He's doing my head in." "He's treating it like a holiday." "He says he doesn't want adventure." "He doesn't want stress." "I'm just not a good swimmer." "Once you're in it'll be fine." "Warwick never says no - he'll take on a challenge." "Tease the camera." "Tease the camera." "Now, do a little bit of from Oliver." "Good." "(ALL SHOUT)" "It's not the night for this, is it?" "Warwick, you'll have to do it." "I'm not doing it." "They'll have the adventure of their lifetime, whether they like it or not." "Wow." "Previously on An Idiot Abroad..." "Dick Whittington, he had a cat with him." "You went, "Why take a cat?" "Take a little mate."" "I just think you're going to be a hindrance." "It was your idea to come to the party." "You go in there." "This is good. (CHOKES)" "Brilliant, Warwick." ""Bring them over", he said." ""Good to have some company."" "One-two." "One-two." "There's no way that I'm having it that Warwick's a better dancer than me." "No way." "It seems that what Warwick wants, Warwick gets." "Argh!" "Oh!" "I never had a kite." "Let me down." "What you're going to see now, you'll never get the chance to see again." "The Spider Sisters." "I'm just going to wait outside, let Karl go and ask his questions." "Do you have the main and you have the pudding?" "I don't know why you're so fascinated." "Because it's something different." "I've done a lot for him, now." "Let me have a bit of me time." "I've come to see them because they're different." "That's all it is." "It's not to poke fun, it's because they're different." "People out there are coming in here to see new things." "Look at the crowd Warwick got." "Hello." "It would be good if Warwick was willing to sit on there and raise some more money." "I'll sit there." "White person, bald - they've never seen that before." "They've never seen a little man before." "Would it make...?" "Would it make any difference for them, money wise, if me and Warwick was to sit on the stage as well?" "She says she's good." "She doesn't mind." "OK." "Let's have a word with Warwick." "Oh, great." "It's embarrassing." "I'm not just going to go and stand there and have people look." "Do you know what I mean?" "What's the...what's the point?" "Karl, what are you doing?" "Just when I think you've said the weirdest, stupidest thing ever, you top it." "I think it's weird that we're putting ourselves on this side - that's what's making this horrible." "If we just all sat there together it's not a problem." "You sit there, I'll sit behind you, people will come in," "I'll give you a centre parting." "You do what you want to do, what you need to get it out your system." "You do that and I'll go outside and wait." "I don't understand his priorities." "He's happy to dress up as leprechauns and bears and stuff, but he won't sit on a stage, which he likes, and he won't let me comb his hair." "Everything we've been through together." "They said they'll come to see Warwick." "Why?" "Why Warwick, not me?" "I can't see any merit in me doing it." "If I had something to do, something to give here then so be it." "It's a performance, but it isn't." "Me just sitting there..." "It's not..." "I'm not bringing anything to the table, here, am I?" "Me?" "But round head." "Come on!" "What do you look like, Karl?" "I need you - you're my partner." "But...what are we doing, then?" "I will comb your hair." "I'll massage you." "Are you all right?" "Are you all right?" "Ben Fogle wouldn't have left James Cracknell." "Cannon and Ball - always did stuff together." "The Chuckle Brothers - it wouldn't have worked with one Chuckle." "You're standing there, getting an eyeful for free." "Warwick, just get on the fucking stage." "Shout his name." "Warwick!" "Warwick!" "Warwick!" "Warwick!" "This is ridiculous." "Yes." "You bastard." "Hey!" "(CROWD APPLAUSE) Thank you." "I'm going to bloody kill you." "Warwick, are you OK?" "Not really?" "I think I'm having some sort of weird dream at the minute." "(CROWD APPLAUSE)" "Thank you." "Thank you." "All right." "Yeah, all right." "That's it." "That's it." "Give it a good squeeze." "Argh!" "Very nice." "Thank you, ladies, very much." "Thank you very much." "Easy." "Easy." "It's one bit of fun." "That's all it was." "You are never going to see the Spider Sisters, or anything like it again." "OK." "You could see this again - quite easily." "I just don't want to talk about that whole scenario again." "It's like Salford Docks, this." "How far we going on this boat?" "I'm not in the mood for it." "Why?" "I've got the shits." "It's a bit funny how I've got the shits and you haven't." "Cos I'm careful." "You haven't been getting into it, have you?" "You've been having deep pan pizzas every day." "I wanted you to get ill." "Why does that bother you so much?" "Cos then you can be part of the team." "It's like the red arse gang." "(LAUGHS) At least then, I don't know, you wouldn't annoy me as much." "It's annoying me how you're not ill and you're not experiencing what everyone else is." "So if I'm chucking up in the toilets with the shits, you'd come in and pat me on the back and say, "Great, Warwick."" "Yeah." "I'd have some connection with you." "So you're connection with me would be through my arse, then?" "Come on, better go and catch the boat, Karl." "A nice smell of piss in the air." "Thank you very much." "Mind your step here, Karl." "It's not even hooked on." "Have you been on a cruise before?" "No." "And I won't be again if they're all like this." "It's not good when the carpet's damp, is it?" "Fucking hell." "The Titanic was brought up and it looked better than this." "Thank you very much." "That's my room." "He's just helping me with my luggage." "Can't miss the toilet." "To be honest, that is useful for me, the way I am at the moment." "The toilet's got a shower door on it." "That's well handy, the way it's spurting out of my arse." "(LAUGHS) I'm not joking." "And I know what's happening here, cos you've got this room, so what's mine like?" "(SIGHS)" "Shower, Shh-shh-shh-shh," "(MAKES FARTING NOISE) - all at the same time." "That's a toilet." "Loo." "Don't use that one." "I've got bad guts and I'm not doing this." "I'm sick of it, just sick of it." "Fuck sake." "Oh, God." "Ah!" "Ah!" "Ah!" "I just want to see Warwick." "Hello." "I don't know what's going on." "I don't know why you're getting special treatment." "I haven't even got my own toilet." "Someone's already been on my toilet." "There's already something there and we haven't even left dock yet." "What have you got, then?" "I haven't got anything, just a bed with about four or five other strangers." "You're sharing?" "Yes." "Oh." "It's just annoying me the way that we're not having the same experiences." "Let's go down the little corridor and share the same experience." "Is this the same way you made me share the same experience with the Spider Sisters?" "Yes." "Then maybe this is...sort of payback." "All right...all right." "Forget it, then." "Forget it." "You can have your room, then." "Don't go like that." "Don't get all arsey." "Stick it up your arse." "I shouldn't have mentioned that." "I didn't want to upset him." "We're both in this together, we should stick together, but that's not what he did that day." "I suppose two wrong don't make a right, does it?" "I should... (SIGHS)" "(METAL DRUMS BANGING)" "(PHONE RINGS)" "I've had the shits all day." "The cabin that you've sorted out for me," "I'm in there with the fucking Grumbleweeds." "There's one toilet between about five of us. (LAUGHS)" "Listen to this." "That's what I'm sharing with." "(LAUGHS)" "It's not..." "(LAUGHS) Oh, no." "It is not on." "No." "I'm not doing that with him in there." "I won't sleep... (LAUGHS)" "Thing of nightmares, that." "Oh!" "Did you get any sleep, Karl?" "Yeah." "A few minutes, yeah." "Have you seen Warwick?" "Did he sleep?" "Marco Polo must have been pissed off by this point." "It's horrible." "It's horrible." "It's a place to visit in a submarine, this." "This river." "Look at it." "It's polluted to hell and back, isn't it?" "I know people moan at home saying," ""Oh." "All our industry is gone and factories are gone" ""and people aren't making things at home."" "But they are here." "Everything you pick up is made in China, isn't it?" "Look what it does to the place." "Factories putting all this shit in the air." "Let them keep it, honestly." "We don't want this at home." "It's depressing enough without having skies like this." "You hear it all the time, "We don't do anything anymore." ""We don't make anything."" "It's all sort of coffee shops and Paninis and charity shops, but at least we have blue skies." "If you're going to be pissed off at home, be pissed off with a blue sky." "Imagine being pissed off here." "Hello?" "We...we knocked that on the head." "Yeah." "Cos it was horrible." "Honestly, it was misty...and the toilets were shocking - there was turds everywhere." "Gillian McKeith, that's the only person who would've liked that little boat trip." "(LAUGHS)" "Cool." "A real one?" "Wow." "That's amazing." "Thank you very much." "Thoughts, Karl..." "Are they dangerous at all?" "All right, then." "I'm excited about this." "What was the last thing that you saw a panda actually doing that you went, "That's useful."" "Well, I do know this." "Their urine is collected by Szechuan tribal people and, if somebody swallowed a needle, they'd drink it and it would dissolve the needle." "What...what we're doing there is saving idiots." "If they're eating needles, that's nature's way of wiping them out." "We're saving everyone now - that's the problem." "Yeah." "I was just giving you a use for a panda." "Yeah, but it's not good enough." "Not good enough." "Hello." "Oh, hello." "Professor Jao." "Yes." "Warwick." "Hello." "Nice to meet you." "I'm Karl." "How you doing?" "You alright?" "What is it?" "It's the breeding." "They teach breeding behaviour." "I'm not wanking off a panda." "(PANDA GROANS)" "Look at this." "So it's like saying the right thing to the lady first at dinner." "If they don't make the noise, she's..." "Not interested." "No, thank you." "You have different films for it to hear and watch or is it the same...?" "I don't know about that." "I don't think that works, does it?" "And it's the same one." "It's the same film over and over again, so you're going to get bored of that anyway." "I've seen rude films." "You can't watch them more than three times." "You go, "What else have you got?"" "How many times do you watch them, Warwick?" "What, the panda films?" "I've never watched any other sort of..." "You've never watched any rude films?" "No..." "I haven't ever felt I need to, to be honest." "It's not about need, is it?" "It's..." "It's like how I wanted to see the Spider women." "What's all that about?" "People watch these?" "What's going on?" "You did it for research purposes." "Yeah." "Just have a look what goes on." "Of course." "Get some ideas." "Are you saying we've got to dress up." "Yeah." "Surely that's more dangerous, isn't it?" "If we look like a panda." "I've been a few bears in my time, but never a panda." "Does this really convince them?" "Does it heck." "It's bollocks, all this." "It's just an excuse to dress us up." "Got to try and get in the mind of the character, now." "Don't start, Warwick." "Don't start." "Just put your costume on." "You don't just wear it like that." "I'm going to put the hood on when I get in there." "Otherwise it's going to look ridiculous." "I've seen pandas on the telly with people near them." "I've never seen Attenborough dressed up like this." "But I'm just thinking, "If something goes tits up," ""I can't see where I'm going, I'm hot, I'm going to trip over."" "It's just not safe." "If it kicks off and I have to thump it in the head and I ended up injuring it, again I look like the bad man." ""Karl thumps endangered species in the head."" "At the end of the day, if it comes at me," "I will go at it and I'm not being responsible for what happens." "If I have to kick it between the bollocks, that's what's going to happen." "I will kick a panda in the bollocks if I have to." "Do we need to make any sound?" "What sound does a panda make?" "I'm probably going to be a little baby one." "Chirps?" "How does that go?" "Ooh!" "Ooh!" "Ooh!" "What about mummy panda?" "What noise...?" "Urgh!" "Urgh!" "Yeah." "Urgh!" "Yeah." "Let's just go in." "Let's go and have a look." "Urgh!" "You get in all the gear, you've got to have the sounds and the behaviour." "We don't know..." "A panda never does that, for example." "Karl, you can't stand on your two legs - they never do that." "Ooh!" "Urgh!" "Ooh!" "Urgh!" "My mouth." "Where you going to?" "I'm trying to suckle." "I'm letting it get here." "Where's your head?" "I can't see." "Grab hold of that, there." "No wonder they're dying out if they're like you." "Urgh!" "Let's face it, he's just looking down, thinking, "What's going on?"" "It looks like we've been doing the London Marathon and got lost." "Is this...?" "Honest to God, on your mum's life, is this going to make it come towards us?" "Just stick with it, Karl." "Honestly." "Just act real." "Act naturally..." "like a panda." "Jesus Christ." "Karl, he's coming down." "We go out." "Karl, we've got to go out." "Why?" "It's coming down." "What have we come here for?" "It's a lot of effort that, wasn't it?" "Just enticed him down." "I thought we were going to hug it or something." "It's a long way to come just to see that." "Hello." "Just having a nice day." "No stress." "Having a wander about." "It's Sunday here, so it's just good to see what normal people do." "First restful day we've had." "Go to the park much in London?" "Yeah, all the time." "I love a good walk, a bit of people watching." "What's this?" "What are they copying?" "Is it news headlines or something?" "It is, the news." "It's like a really basic Ceefax." "The word on the street - that's where the phrase comes from." "I'm just going to do my signature, I think." "Do a little head." "Good, innit?" "That is good." "You see, the thing is, it's hard to be an explorer now, isn't it?" "Everything has been found." "It's a piece of piss back then with old Marco going where he wants and saying he's found new land." "Look at that baby." "Good God." "Did you see the fat baby?" "Karl, it's not overweight, it's just a bit chubby." "It's just a little puppy fat." "You don't see many fat Chinese, do you?" "Cos of the..." "Cos of the food's not very nice." "Are you going to have something to eat or pizza?" "I quite fancy a pizza." "You've got to have something a bit weird, and I'll have it with you." "You've got cold pork lung." "Pig ear." "I've had pig ear, that's not bad." "Karl, I've got a table." "This isn't that bad, to be fair." "It's only the rabbit head that looks a bit shit." "You get rid of the teeth, he'd think that's a pork chop." "Warwick, this isn't that bad." "No." "They haven't got anything weird." "I thought they'd have well weirder stuff." "I mean, that doesn't look normal." "It smells of liquorice, that one." "Here you are." "Eat one of them." "Just shove it in, honestly." "It's not that bad." "Can I nibble the edge of it?" "It's worse, just shove it in." "(CHOKES)" "Don't tell me what it is." "That's a lamb bollock." "What's wrong with eating a little sheep bollock, really?" "(CHOKES) Stop mentioning testicles." "Right." "Now, I don't know how you eat one of these." "I think you just pick it up with your hand and have a chunk." "That's like stone - that's solid." "Oh, fucking hell, it's a head!" "Just have a bite of that." "I'm not eating it now, not now it's a head." "Oh, Karl." "Bloody hell." "God." "In a minute." "Just have a bite of it of its face." "Stop pushing it to me." "Argh!" "Go on, just bite...bite into it." "Oh, fucking hell." "You've let me down." "Fuck off." "I'm not letting you down." "Forget it." "Forget it." "It's stupid." "I don't want to be part of your fucking games." "Don't throw bollocks at me like that, either." "Ridiculous." "I've got a job to do, I didn't want to go down with illness." "That's part of it, I think." "You're doing travel and then, whatever you do, if that happens, that's part of the story." "Right." "Honestly, there's people here who would watch Attenborough and think it's a cooking programme." "Here, look." "Look at him." "What's he shoving in." "It's like a little blade." "Oh...yeah." "That's nice, that, isn't it?" "It is nice." "He seems to know how far he can go with it." "Tickly." "Oh, my God." "Jesus, Warwick." "You've had that in your ear, it's the same..." "I didn't have that much." "Well..." "No wonder you haven't shit yourself since you've been here, you've just..." "All your orifices are blocked up wax." "Good Jesus." "It's disgusting, actually." "It is." "You should do your ears, you dirty little shit." "It's deep in...!" "You could actually make a little Madame Tussauds model of Warwick with the amount of wax that's come out of his head." "(LAUGHS)" "Funny little fella, isn't he?" "Imagine him as a removal man." "Yeah." "Pissing about." "Just get them in the van." "On our way to see a Buddhist temple, which is something" "I really wanted to see in China, but my sinuses are really hurting." "And..." "So, yeah, I don't feel so great, to be honest." "I've done a few mountains and that, it hurts your head." "But he's hurting his head before we've even started so..." "Should we knock it on the head?" "Just...you're never going to get this opportunity again - that's what I'm disappointed..." "If the memory of it is going, "My head," what's the point?" "No..." "I want to do it, I want to have a go at it, but I don't know." "Should we just start walking, just have a go?" "All right, let's just start walking." "Give it..." "If he manages to do it on his own two feet, he's going to feel a lot better than if he's sat in this." "It's like going up there on a...a chairlift, innit?" "So what do you know about Buddhism?" "Dalai Lama bloke." "He's a sort of happy, stress-free fella, but he's not living a normal life, is he?" "If we all did what he did, how would anything get done?" "He sits around, coming up with thoughts, but he's got a bloke to empty his bins, to wash the pots, to do his food." "If we all did that...we'd still be living in mud huts." "(BOTH BREATH HEAVILY)" "Oh, God!" "Are you all right, yeah?" "I'm..." "I'm slightly worried about getting in them." "How can they carry someone up these steps?" "That's what they do, though." "It's a little chair - they're made for it." "If you're getting in now, it's a little bit of a give up early." "Yeah, all right, I don't want to be seen to be giving up." "I don't want to be... (BREATHES HEAVILY)" "He's not cut out for it." "He's not cut out for this." "I keep looking behind and he's dropped behind." "He's slowing me down." "I want to move on." "All right." "I'm stopping for a bit." "All right." "I mean, this is hard anyway, but with this it's like twice as hard." "Suzanne always has a moan at me." "When she's ill I'm rubbish around her." ""Can't you nip to the supermarket instead?"" "I'm just not good around ill people." "How much further is it, do you know?" "I think we're not even quarter of the way." "It's OK to not get to the top, Warwick." "No, it's not OK. (CRIES)" "Just knock it on the head." "He's not a Buddhist, so why is it so important?" "You come so far through a journey and you kind of..." "What we've been through and stuff, it's... always managed to keep going and then..." "He's his own man." "If he wants to give up, he can." "There's no prize here." "We're not going to win something." "There's not a caravan up for grabs if we make it to the top." "It just a walk and a temple." "I don't know whether it's better just to give up," ""That's what I could do and that's it", or to jump in there and..." "Karl." "Are you giving up?" "You knocking it on the head?" "My head's not up to it, today." "I want to go up and see it." "You knew your limits down there." "I said, "If you don't want to go don't do it." Now we're halfway up." "But I do want to go - that's the thing." "It's like dragging round a Henry the Vac." "You know that thing, you walk and it gets caught under a chair and you've got to walk back and unblock it, that's what it's been like..." "With your big smiling face." "I'm going to call it a day, here." "Definitely?" "It's too easy to say I've got headache or my legs or..." "It is easy if you haven't got a headache." "Karl, in my career, I've put up with all sorts of stuff." "The stuff I endure in costumes and stuff, it's hard." "This makes a mockery of the whole Star Wars thing, anyway." "You're in the universe." "I didn't see you up there going, "It hurts." ""My sinuses." (GROANS)" "That's why he sounded like, like that, his nose blocked." ""Land, I need a Vicks."" "Ooh." "No." "I can't." "I don't think I'll get all the way." "Sometimes, Karl, I don't think you see what others see." "You know?" "You're up there, having a go at Warwick." "Warwick's down below, actually having a little tear on." "I mean..." "You didn't cry, did you, on camera?" "Hang on." "I didn't mean to..." "Oh, here we go." "I hate that." "I feel like doing it just to annoy him..." "Exactly." "That's exactly how I work." "That's how I do it with Suzanne." ""You never wash up." "I do." "You don't." Then she does it." "It's the same thing, being pushed." "What I want to say to you is, "Get off your arse and get walking."" "Let's keep going." "We can do it." "(SIGHS) Bloody hell." "Wow!" "Jesus!" "Poor fellas." "Now, if we do make it up, he can't say he walked all the way." "This is part of the experience as well." "It is now, is it?" "It wasn't a minute ago." "I thought, you know?" "Travel." "That's what it's all about." "(SIGHS) Pilkington moves the goal posts once again." "He is like having a little kid with me." "Cos of his height and he likes toffees and he likes pizza," "I feel like his dad." "And that's what I was acting like when I was coming up the hill." "Like, "Come on, Son."" "If I've got a son, that's how I would have spoke to him." ""Get off your arse and get up here."" "(SIGHS) Wow." "Oh, Jesus, it's more stairs." "I tell you what, you can't be a Buddhist in a wheelchair." "I don't think he realises what he's saying sometimes." "Yeah." ""Dragging a Henry Vacuum behind me" ""and having to stop and empty it now and again."" "I mean, how offensive can you be?" "But he's what I needed." "I gave him the kick to do it, and sometimes that's what you need, innit?" "You need a good leader." "I was like Winston Churchill or something like that." "Eight." "Seven." "Six." "When you're going through hell, keep going." "That's what I did, down there." "I was Winston Churchill. "Don't give me that shit." "Keep going."" "Three, two..." "Hang one." "One." "That's it." "Yes." "Here we are." "That's amazing." "Yeah." "That's impressive, that." "Absolutely." "You see, what annoys me, Warwick, right." "You didn't like seeing the woman with two heads." "Suddenly, you're happy with that." "She's got six. (LAUGHS)" "Were you really crying before or was that just messing about?" "No, I was." "Why?" "I think it's something to do with being short." "It's harder to be defeated." "Do you know what I mean?" "They'll make it look like an X Factor moment." "You'll be loving that, won't you?" "They'll have Coldplay under that." "(LAUGHS) (SINGS TUNE)" ""Will the little man do it?" (SINGS)" "I'm telling you." "Everyone will be like that...oh!" "Come on." "Coldplay!" "It has brought us closer together." "But the one bad thing to come out of this - he's got a disabled badge for his car." "He's going to get that taken off him." "Cos you can't be climbing stuff like this and then getting home, going, "I need to park here." That's well gone." "I haven't told him." "(VOICEMAIL)" "I don't like getting dressed up - especially not to have a meal." "If I'm having a Sunday dinner at home" "I normally sit at home with nowt on top." "Take my T-shirt off and everything, cos you drop a bit of chicken in gravy." "Gravy's got grease in it - it doesn't come out." "Sit there, bare-chested, around the table... and I enjoy it." "You don't have to be dressed up." "I pop a T-shirt back on when it's time for pudding." "It's going to be all right, this." "Ricky's sorted everything out." "It's going to be a lovely evening." "It's really nice that he's set this up to celebrate the end of the journey." "And then, in true Ricky style, he's thrown a bit of a spanner in the works for me." "I got a text from him." "We're not just going up there to look at the view - he wants Karl to do a sky dive." "(SIGHS) It's just faff, isn't it?" "Why do this when we've invented buttons?" "Fannying about." "What Ricky's basically said about tonight is, "Don't let me down." ""It's in your hands to get him to do this." ""I don't want the show to finish on a damp squib." ""You know?" "We've got to end with a big finish." ""Everyone wants to see him jump."" "# "The Good Life"" " Frank Sinatra." "You going to have a pudding?" "Yeah." "He's paying, of course." "I actually like to see a plate of food that I know is for me and it's my job to eat what's on that plate." "The way they sort of keep bringing out dishes and noodles and then some dim sum and a dumpling - it's just like a load of starters, innit?" "It's going to be nice." "That way." "Good seeing you dressed up." "I dunno." "Just for something to eat - it just seems a bit over the top to me." "Restaurant's at the top, there." "(TANNOY) Welcome to Macau Tower." "We hope you will enjoy your business to this 338m iconic landmark." "I got a text from Ricky earlier... hoping we had a nice time." "They do other stuff here, as well as food." "You can..." "You can do sort of extreme... sort of sports." "Bungee jumping - funny." "It's not bungee jumping." "It is, though, innit?" "No, it isn't." "Yes, it is." "I'm not..." "I don't do extreme stuff, Warwick." "Hello, there, I'm Warwick." "Tony O'Rourke." "How are you?" "Hi, Tony." "How you been?" "Yeah, good." "Welcome to Macau Tower." "We have various activities." "We have our Skywalk, which is walking the outer rim." "We have our Skyjump, we have our world's highest bungee jump." "You know what bungee jumping is, yeah?" "Yeah." "I've been faced with it and I'm not doing it." "Skyjump is actually designed for those people who could never do a bungee jump." "Go outside and have a look?" "Yeah, I'm happy to go outside and have a look, it's just I'm not going to jump." "As you can see, everything is double." "We attach the two attachments to your harness, and then what we do is we slowly, ever so slowly, just lower you to the ground." "It's actually a controlled, what we call a controlled, decent." "Right." "It's just a gentle ride." "Karl, come here." "Come here." "Come here." "Hang on a second." "Do you remember...you remember the mountain the other day?" "Yeah." "Right." "I didn't want to do it, did I?" "I couldn't do it - not that I didn't want to." "You motivated me to do it." "Yes." "And I'm glad I did." "And the food thing, and you were going, "Eat it", and I would never have gone anywhere near a testicle, but I did because you were going, "Have it."" "Why don't you do it?" "This is about you conquering something." "What was the other things that he said you can do?" "The Skywalk, which is just walking the perimeter of the tower." "Yeah, that's a doddle." "That's easy, walking round that." "There we go." "Excellent." "Wow." "Oh." "Oh, Jesus." "Yeah, I don't like that." "Karl, have you looked straight down?" "Yeah." "You're brain's telling you, "This can't be real." ""You wouldn't be this stupid...surely?"" "I don't want any more of a rush than that." "I can understand the view, but jumping off..." "I really don't know what it's about." "Should we go for a wander?" "It's pathetic, though, innit?" "What?" "Well..." "The fact that you won't do the old sky dive?" "No." "No." "Just that...that Ricky keeps going on about this." "I don't want to do one and he can't make me, and he wouldn't do one." "It's not as if he's been jumping off buildings." "I've never seen him do anything with a slight bit of danger." "There's just nothing in me that makes me want to jump off there." "Sometimes, that's what annoys me with films - it's always a happy ending." "Life isn't like that." "People don't always get what they want." "My favourite films are Elephant Man, who ends up killing himself because he's sick of having that head, and Kes, when his kestrel gets killed by his brother." "I don't like happy endings." "Can you sit down on the edge?" "I can't get any nearer the edge cos I've got tension..." "Where's your knees?" "Have you got knees?" "(LAUGHS) Yeah!" "We've done this whole thing together, epic journey, put up with all sorts of stuff... shouted, hated each other, got on with each other - we should do the last thing together." "I'll do it if you do it." "Well, I'm not going to be doing it." "It can't be that hard." "Look at me, now." "I'm hanging over here." "I know." "That's what I'm saying - you could do it." "Right." "Hook me up." "Have you ever had a dwarf up here before, to do this?" "Nope." "So this is a world record, then?" "Check." "OK." "Just checking." "Rear attachment, check." "That's making me nervous." "You're going to feel yourself lifting off." "No." "No way." "Warwick, that is mental." "Bloody hell!" "Argh!" "I just looked out there." "Warwick, are you sure?" "Oh, fucking hell." "Stay there." "I'm here." "No." "No way." "Don't look at me." "You don't have to do it." "You're idiots, all of you." "You're going to be fine." "Let's just do this." "We're going to do it, OK, Warwick?" "Skyjump in five seconds." "Four." "Don't say...don't count out." "Fuck!" "Good luck." "Argh!" "Oh, my God!" "Fucking hell!" "Oh, my God." "Oh, Jesus." "No." "I don't want to look." "I do not want to look." "That was way too fast." "Wah-ha-ha!" "Fucking hell!" "(LAUGHS)" "This is amazing!" "Oh, yes." "Yes!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "How was it?" "That was amazing." "Fucking hell!" "That's so good!" "That's amazing." "I want to do it again." "That is so good!" "(PHONE RINGS)" "Hello, Ricky, it's Warwick." "We're at the top of the Sky Tower in Macau... and I just jumped off it." "Yeah." "Yeah, I did it." "It felt great, and Karl nearly did it." "Yeah." "I just sort of walked round the edge of it... well high up." "Yeah." "Yeah." "(RICKY LAUGHS)" "I'm pleased for Warwick." "I feel like I've been part of it." "I helped him get out on the ledge." "And then you ran away." "Yeah, but I helped you do it." "It's teamwork, innit?" "Yeah." "Well, that's..." "That was worth doing, wasn't it?" "It's for my health." "Finger up the arse?" "I'm fine with that." "I'm all checked out up there, honestly. (LAUGHS)" "And I've had my ears done on this trip as well, so all orifices are clear." "Jesus." "Oh, I've seen then, don't worry." "You haven't." "In his little harness he's got on." "Like a little bunch of grapes..." "being lowered down." "Cargo." "Look at them." "Piss off." "It's unbelievable because they're normal, aren't they?" "They're normal-sized bollocks." "Well, I don't know." "I'm not comparing them to anything, but..." "Believe me." "Wh...?" "Why...?" "(LAUGHS)" "(PHONE BEEPS) He's gone." "That's the end of that." "There you go." "Stop going on about my nuts." "I know, but it's unbelievable." "That's something I won't forget - the Spider Sisters and them." "(LAUGHS) Jesus." "That's all you'll take away from this trip, is the Spider Sisters and my nuts?" "Great." "Right." "Let's get something to eat." "# "A Time For Us"" " Frank Sinatra." "Wow!" "(CROWD LAUGHS) Urgh!" "Hey!" "(LAUGHS)" "Let me down!" "Karl, smile." "Knew you were coming." "(LAUGHS)" "Hey!" "Wow." "Where's your knees?" "Have you got knees?" "(LAUGHS) Yeah!" "I wasn't even attached, then." "I could've fell off." "Jesus." "Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd."