"Next time, I'll be leading the apprehension of the criminals." "This war hero crap don't cut nothing with me, Corky." "I scheduled a boxing match between Irish Jake and young Jasper Longfield." "I want to go back to miss Eva's." "Do you still believe this is the best place for the child?" "Who do you trust more, Corky or Elizabeth Haverford?" "1x06" " Arsenic and Old Cake " "Fear not, det O'Brien." "This will all be over soon." "[ Inhaling ]" "That's it." "That's the way!" "Nice, deep draw." "Ohh." "Oh!" "Dr. Devery, you're a Saint." "Oh!" "A blessed Saint." "You've suffered enough pain." "Matter of fact, so have I." "[ Inhaling deeply ]" "What's good for the goose, eh, doc?" "Yeah." "[ Wheezing laugh ]" "Ethel!" "I need you." "Now." "Agh!" "Gillis, you dip into the ether again?" "Just a touch of eethel, Ehther." "[ Laughs ]" "Sit." "Open your mouth, you galoot." "Which one?" "Ahh..." "Agh." "Ahh!" "Ahhhh!" "Ah!" "[ Sobbing ]" "Oh!" "Ohh!" "It doesn't look rotten to me." "You pulled the wrong tooth!" "[Laughing] Oh, my goddamn!" "What the hell's the matter with you, cow?" "!" "[ Laughing ]" "[ Bells tolling ]" "[ Lullaby plays ]" "Ah." "Good morning, Francis." "No cane?" "Yeah." "Feeling risky." "How's Mary?" "A delight." "Last night, we held hands for over two hours." "Oh, this is serious, then." "What's the word?" "How many dead bodies we got laying about this morning?" "Only one." "One?" "Sweet Jesus!" "If the crime rate keeps heading South, we'll be out of a job." "Show me where." "No need." "That prick-and-a-half Byrnes snatched the case." "Dentist over on Duane." "You found the dentist just as he is?" "And what is your business here?" "My teeth." "Dr. Devery was going to fix a loose one." "That so?" "I didn't have no money." "Well, if it's a filling you need, lass," "I'll be happy to help." "Go on, get your dirty quim out of here before I haul you to the tombs!" "What'd the neighbors say?" "The wife, Ethel?" "She left for Poughkeepsie with the children late in the day." "Scuttlebutt is that the dentist beat the missus pretty regular." "Ah, women!" "A beating's no reason to murder your husband." "Oh." "Fruitcake from Nellis'!" "Mmm!" "[ Sniff, spits ]" "Mmm." "Cut yourself a piece." "No, thank you, sergeant." "What's the matter with you?" "!" "Nellis' is the best goddamn bakery in New York." "Here." "Now, you get yourself on the next." "New York central to Poughkeepsie, retrieve the newly widowed Mrs. Devery, and bring her murdering ass back." "Anh anh anh!" "[ Chuckling ]" "Ah, padraic, liquid gold." "[ Sputter ]" "[ Vomits ]" "Monsignor McNamara." "Thank you so very much for coming." "No trouble at all, Mrs. Haverford." "Annie is a tortured girl, monsignor." "Difficult, promiscuous." "My understanding is that she's had quite the drug- addled childhood." "She has." "I've made attempts to guide her onto a new path by introducing her to the ministers at trinity church, but my efforts have invariably been met with anger and resistance." "My hope is that a priest of her own faith might be able to reach her soul in a way that I cannot." "Do not fret, Mrs. Haverford." "No child is past redemption." "She's waiting in the dining room." "Sure looks like a whole lot of paying customers, Mr. Morehouse." "Potential voters, Marcus, who, in a few hours, will hoist Irish Jake onto their shoulders and carry him, next month, to a comfortable new seat as alderman." "A seat that just happens to fit oh, so snug in your pocket, eh, sir?" "Jasper, I'm asking you again, please don't go through with this." "Sara fears for your safety." "We both do." "Mrs. Sara don't have to worry none." "Ain't no irishman who can hurt me." "As I've tried to explain, you don't fully grasp the situation." "Marcus has admitted to me that you are not supposed to win this fight." "My unc..." "I told you that in confidence." "Marcus made a deal, promising that you'd lose the match on purpose." "Jasper, remember when I found you hiding and apologized for infuriating you?" "We agreed to put the past away." "You's a bad man, Marcus, and I don't want you here." "Get out!" "Jasper, you need me here." "I'll beat you blue again!" "All right, all right, all right." "You explain to this jackass what'll happen if he wins." "Jasper, white folks, they'll kill you." "Nobody can kill me." "Nobody." "I'm Samson!" "Joshua!" "At Jericho!" "My official report will indicate that both men were poisoned with the same substance." "Any ideas on the type of poison?" "Arsenic's most likely." "Can't say for sure, though." "Christ almighty." "Painful way to go," "Boyo." "[ Door opens ]" "That child!" "I" " I... father, we haven't finished with the story, of lot and his daughters." ""Come, let us make our father drink wine,"" "and we will lie with him, that we may preserve his seed"." "[Sigh] Annie." "I thought you wanted me to get in touch with my religion." "I'm trying to provide you with a better life!" "You mean a life of lies." "So that you can grow into... a what, a dried-up prigger like you?" "I will not stoop to arguing with a filthy, lovesick child." "Argh!" "Aah!" "Your husband seemed to like me just fine." "[ Sobbing ]" "No, I'm a friend of the major's." "The major's expecting me." "Major!" "Matthew." "Come to catch the battle of the century?" "My Uncle lied." "Jasper has no intention of throwing this fight." "If he beats McGinnis, you know these fine people will riot." "They'll lynch Jasper." "Put a stop to this before... [ booing ]" "If I call off this brouhaha now, the crowd will riot, regardless." "[ Bagpipes play, cheering ]" "Yeah!" "That's right, fellas!" "That's right!" "You ready for a flogging, smoke?" "Take it easy, Jake." "I expected more of you, major." "My greatest talent is my ability to disappoint." "But I take comfort, knowing that what I do now is for your own good, Matthew." "Gonna be one hell of a fight, Mr. Morehouse." "Jasper'll make it look good." "Don't you worry, now." "Referee:" "All right, men, at the bell." "Fight!" "[ Crowd shouting ]" "Hit him!" "Declan Ryan O'Casey, get your rump up here this moment." "I got him!" "I don't wanna go!" "I don't wanna!" "Put me down!" "Put me down!" "[ Baby walls ]" "Inside, and watch your brothers." "Sweet lord in Killarney." "Very kind of you to help, sir." "It's my pleasure, ma'am." "You got your hands full." "T'ain't easy, managing six little ones all by your lonesome." "Is their pa not around?" "Killed last may, in Georgia." "Oh, seen far too many good men lost on Southern fields." "You fought?" "Aye." "71st regiment." "Charlie served in the 37th." "The Irish rifles." "Tough bunch." "Hell was coming down all around 'em and they stood hard." "That's my Charlie." "And you're...?" "Detective Kevin Corcoran, ma'am." "Katherine O'Casey." "Suppose you're here about Gillis Devery." "I am." "Did you know him?" "Sure." "Nice enough." "Bit of a wolf, though." "He offered to work on my teeth for free." "Except, I knew he'd be wanting something else in return." "Did that happen often?" "I seen plenty of young girls coming in and out." "Doubt they could all pay." "I imagine that Mrs. Devery wasn't too happy about that." "Who knows?" "Them two were always hollering." "A miracle, one of them wasn't dead long before this." "Well, I appreciate all your help, Mrs. O'Casey." "[ Cough ]" "Take care of the wee ones." "[ Baby walls ]" "So, Annie, to what do we owe today's little visit?" "I just figured you might be lonely." "[Scoffs, laughs] Lonely?" "Only a few weeks since Molly died." "Does Mrs. Haverford know you're wandering about?" "You have such pretty things, miss Eva." "[Sigh] Yes." "And I didn't get them by listening to bullshit." "Please don't be mad." "I had to come." "Child, you no longer live here." "But what if I did, live here?" "Sit." "Why would you choose such a thing?" "Hmm?" "I work my fingers to the nub every day with one goal:" "To be able to squat uptown amongst the Haverfords of this world." "Miss Eva, don't send me back, please." "Strange things happen there." "Has someone hurt you?" "No, not that." "You can teach me the things" "I need to know, miss Eva, only you." "No!" "[ Sniff ]" "Welcome back." "We'll take her from here." "O'Brien:" "Good to see you again, Mrs. Devery." "Tooth for a tooth, you might say." "Argh." "Come on!" "Stop it!" "That's enough of that." "Get this damn bitch off of me." "Sure thing, pally." "Can't imagine what your wife would say, if she heard about this." "Don't you tell Sybil." "What's it worth to you?" "Aah!" "You damn witch!" "[ Soft knock at door ]" "Ah, good, you're not at the fight." "I was." "I might go back." "No cane?" "Ah, thought I was better- healed than I am." "Could use a touch more of that morphine." "But, first, look at this." "Rat poison." "I'm trying to determine if it was used in a murder." "Hoped you'd be able to tell me what the ingredients are." "Hmm." "Hmm, likely arsenic-based." "Phosphorus rodenticides have a yellow hue." "This only has small flecks of soot." "Is there any way you could say for certain?" "Five bucks?" "Matthew, you know how, in a bar, after you buy two drinks, the bartender buys one back?" "You could give me a free consultation, now and then." "[ Sigh ]" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Hit him, Jasper!" "Hit him!" "Wake up!" "Come on, Jake!" "Break it up!" "Come on, break it up!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Back up." "Come on, Jake!" "What's wrong with you?" "!" "Jake, what the hell?" "!" "Get back here." "Fight!" "Break it up!" "Break it up!" "[ Ding ] Round's over." "To your corners." "Sit!" "Gonna get your brains scrambled, nigger." "So, shall we square up now, before the fight's over?" "I wouldn't want to hold you up when McGinnis wins." "Relax, Marcus." "There'll be plenty of time to square up later." "You here to bail out one of your girls?" "Ha." "Annie came by." "For a second time." "Seems as if the girl's unhappy, living as a lap dog in luxury." "Well, 23rd street is a big adjustment." "She's got to be patient." "Yeah, because young girls are renowned for their patience." "Well, I'll talk with Annie." "Again." "She insists on staying with me." "Oh, Christ." "What she really wants is to be near you." "[ Sigh ]" "Take her back to Elizabeth's." "All right." "But dragging the girl back up there won't change the fact that she's miserable." "If Annie feels like she don't belong in that world, she'll keep running from it and, next time, not to me." "So before I drop her on the Haverford doorstep... what, let Annie live in your place, throw her back into that sump?" "I'm not saying... goddamn it, Eva, what... the girl needs is a mother and love, not the kind she'll get from whores." "You're right, I will take her to Elizabeth." "No, Eva, I didn't... thank you for doing this." "I'm going to make this up to you." "Yes, you will, Kevin Corcoran." "You most definitely will." "Now, missy, you just calm down." "Uh!" "[ Spits ] Jesus!" "Hang yourself, you one-eyed cretin!" "A little help, Andrew!" "Oh, no, thank you, Francis," "I am hunky-dory right here." "At last!" "This beauty is all yours." "Anyone need me, I'll be with me Mary... a sane woman." "[ O'Brien laughs ]" "Ahem, he's a funny man, this Petroleum V. Nasby." "Why'd you kill Gillis?" "I didn't kill him." "I'm a good woman, a good mother, a good catholic." "Hmm, good women don't run out on their husbands." "I didn't run out." "Me and the boys were visiting my mother in Poughkeepsie." "Gillis bought the damn tickets." "He knew about your trip?" "Course!" "I told your goon that much as soon as he kidnapped me and put me on a damn train." "So how come your husband didn't head to Poughkeepsie with you?" "You go out of your way to spend extra time with your mother-in-law?" "You still had plenty of reason to kill him." "I saw the way he smacked you around!" "Ha!" "Humbug!" "I gave better than I got." "Maybe you tired of his fooling around." "Those whores who'd let him put anything in their mouth to get their teeth tinkered with?" "God bless 'em for doing something" "I didn't have the stomach to do." "Look, Mrs. Devery, we don't need your confession." "We found the poison in your pantry." "Poison?" "The poison that killed your husband and sergeant Byrnes..." "a double murder." "So, unless you got a better explanation, you'll swing, twice." "Oh, lord, no." "This is some kind of nightmare." "Come on." "I'm..." "I'm sorry." "I've been all fired." "But I had nothing to do with this business, I swear." "I would never kill Gillis." "You got to believe me." "My boys!" "Oh, God, my boys." "I beg you." "They can't lose their father and their mother." "[Sobbing] Please!" "Please!" "Please!" "Oh!" "[ Sobbing ]" "Come on, Jake, one more." "Fight!" "Come on, Jake, one more!" "Knock it off!" "Yes, Jake!" "Back it up." "Get off of him." "I'm gonna stomp your nigger brains." "Hold on, Jake, hold on." "Get up!" "Oh, Jesus." "Come on, break it up!" "Break it up!" "Hit him!" "Jasper, come on!" "Come on, brother!" "Hit him!" "I can hear your wheels churning, Kevin." "Clankety, clankety, clankety." "You're thinking" "Ethel Devery ain't our killer." "Know what else I hear?" "Byrnes, laughing at you." ""You're too smart for your own good, Boyo!"" "The handwriting." "If I can figure out whose handwriting this is," "I'll know who killed Devery." "Well, it seems like a woman's handwriting, to me." "Agh!" "Andrew?" "You want to get some dessert?" "Uh-huh, yeah." "Good to see you, missus." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Children, come along." "What can I get for you?" "We need to know if you sold a fruitcake to this woman earlier in the week." "Couldn't say." "We're a busy shop." "I've got paying customers." "We'll take this Washington pie, then." "Sorry, haven't seen that woman." "I know my customers." "She's not one." "Recognize this handwriting?" "No." "Any reason I should?" "Nah, keep the box." "Mary!" "Mary!" "Francis?" "Back so soon?" "You all right?" "Of course I am." "I have something to show you." "Who was that man?" "What man?" "The one who just left." "Oh, do you mean the delivery boy?" "Didn't look like no boy." "I didn't ask him his age, Francis." "Why don't you believe me?" "I thought you loved me." "I do." "Because, if we're to be married..." "I do!" "I do." "You sure I can't get you something?" "Mutton's on the fire." "Much appreciated, ma'am, but my cap'n's giving me a hard time, insisting we verify every person we spoke to." "I just need your signature." "And if I don't know how to write?" "Well, it's okay, just make your x here." "You happen to know who lives in the apartment downstairs at the end, there?" "Oh, that'd be Lunsford, the landlord." "You've been a great help, ma'am." "Don't Anne in this damn building know how to write?" "I'm betting the landlord does." "Mr. Lunsford!" "We're from the 6th precinct!" "Like to have a word with you about the Devery murder." "I'm Corcoran and this is O'Brien." "Eugene Lunsford." "Did you, uh, find the monster responsible?" "We have Mrs. Devery in custody." "Ethel?" "!" "Mm-hmm." "Wow." "W..." "[Clucks]" "That's terrible." "That's just... that's terrible!" "We're collecting signatures from the residents... a formality confirming we spoke to them." "Would you mind taking a look at the list and signing yourself?" "Sure." "Of course." "Here you go." "And if you could put your occupation down by the name." "Thank you." "All right." "Is that all?" "Not quite." "No no no no no no no no no!" "[ Slam ]" "Well, you're up." "[Sobbing] I'm sorry." "It's my fault." "I killed him!" "I gave Devery the fruitcake." "But I had no idea it was poisoned." "The fruitcake was meant to kill me!" "Quiet down." "You're not making any sense." "Who'd want to kill you?" "A tenant, a butcher!" "By the name of Hans Elek." "Been late with his rent." "A few days ago, I confronted him." "Elek got wrathy, struck me on the side of my head!" "Oh, I went to the police station, but all I got were shrugs." "Then, just before I start the eviction proceeding, he's at my front door." "Oh, he says he's sorry, he brought a peace offering, and gives me a fruitcake..." "from Nellis' bakery, no less." "So why'd you give the fruitcake to Devery?" "I don't like fruitcake." "It seemed a shame, to let it go to waste and I owed Devery for some toothwork, so I figured, you know, give him the fruitcake." "Am I going to prison?" "That depends on what Elek has to say." "Everybody, out!" "Go on!" "Come on, out!" "Out!" "Oh, you know, Andrew, this is a nice, big cleaver right here." "Okay, okay, okay." "I admit." "I did give Lunsford the fruitcake." "That-a-boy, Hans." "But I didn't know the wretched thing was poisoned, I swear to God!" "So you just bought a fruitcake that happened to be poisoned?" "[Sobbing] I didn't say I bought it." "Where' it come from?" "Ethel." "The dentist's wife, she wanted to poison Lunsford." "No!" "My wife died." "Every month since, Ethel bakes me a fruitcake." "But it tastes like pig shit, so I buy mine elsewhere." "Nellis'." "Yeah, best goddamn bakery in New York." "Ethel's goes in the bin." "Except, that didn't happen this time." "No!" "I've been having trouble with the landlord." "I figure, put hers in a Nellis' box, pass it on to him, maybe it curries some favor." "But Lunsford hates fruitcake." "How am I to know that?" "!" "If that fruitcake was meant for you, that means Ethel Devery wants you dead." "No." "Damn." "Way." "That woman loves me." "Yeah?" "She sure knows how to show it." "We've been fornicating for months!" "She's in love, I tell you." "Her husband know about this?" "Don't know." "Never seemed sore at me." "When's the last time you seen him?" "Uh, when he dropped off the fruitcake." "The other night, yeah." "Devery gave you the fruitcake?" "Yeah." "Was very pleasant about it." "This means you let me down, yeah?" "Yeah?" "Let's go, now." "Come on, break it up!" "Break it up!" "Back off, darky." "Let me go!" "Jake!" "[Chanting] Irish Jake!" "Irish Jake!" "Irish Jake!" "Kill the nigger!" "Kill the nigger!" "Shit, I hope the boy does win." "Kill the nigger!" "Kill the nigger!" "I will summon Mrs. Haverford." "Alasdair, I'm here." "Good day, Mrs. Haverford." "I believe you've misplaced this little jewel." "Why, miss Heissen, how considerate of you to escort our Annie home." "Detective Corcoran wanted to ensure that the girl was in safe hands." "Well, thank the good detective, will you?" "You gave us quite the scare." "Happily, you are unharmed." "Let's get you cleaned up before supper." "Again, miss Heissen, I'm grateful." "Anything for Corky." "You have exhausted my patience." "Perhaps you were right." "Perhaps you should live elsewhere." "A little girl should live with her family, which is why your father's come to take you home." "[ Gasp ]" "Hello, girl." "He's not my father." "You've seen it yourself, ma'am." "She's always spinning lies, this one." "[ Sobbing, hyperventilating ]" "No!" "No no!" "[ Hyperventilating ]" "I'm sorry!" "I'm so sorry!" "I'll behave!" "Please, God, no!" "The devil takes hold of her and she gets possessed." "Let me go!" "You mustn't worry." "I'll save her soul." "I'm sorry!" "I'll behave!" "I'll behave!" "[Hiccoughing sobs]" "I'll behave!" "Please!" "[ Sobbing ]" "Please!" "Please!" "Please!" "A good commander always has a secondary strategy." "Jake, get him!" "[ Sobbing ]" "Whoa!" "Give him some room, nigger!" "Go, Jasper!" "Jake!" "He's out!" "Down and out!" "You see that?" "The ref knocked him out!" "[ Cheering ]" "Your winner:" "Irish Jake McGinnis!" "[ Bagpipes play ]" "Jasper won." "Irish Jake!" "Jake McGinnis!" "Remember that name!" "You limp-dicks solve the case yet?" "Well, I believe we did, Francis." "Ah, grand." "Who'd you pinch?" "Nobody." "Nobody?" "No..." "Body." "The two of you'se are grinning like cheshires." "Spill the beans." "Oh, why, thank you, Corky." "Mrs. Ethel Devery." "The dentist's wife." "Herself, she was having her way with the local butcher, who lived on the floor below." "Now, the butcher, he was fighting with the landlord and the landlord, he was the one who gave the fruitcake to Gillis Devery." "So the landlord murdered Devery." "Mnh-mnh." "The butcher murdered Devery?" "Mnh-mnh." "Then who murdered Devery?" "!" "Devery." "I'm going to knock the piss out of the both of you." "Ethel Devery baked the fruitcake for Elek, the butcher, her lover." "Gillis Devery, the dentist, found out that his wife was, uh, breaking the seventh commandment, so, when Ethel left for Poughkeepsie," "Devery poisoned the fruitcake, planned to kill Elek and have her blamed for the crime." "Devery then delivered the fruitcake to Elek, but Elek didn't eat it." "Instead, he put it in a Nellis' bakery box and gave it to Lunsford, the landlord." "Lunsford passed the fruitcake back to Devery, who, thinking it was Nellis', the best goddamn bakery in New York, ate a piece." "Ahh!" "The dentist poisoned himself?" "He did, indeed." "[ Laughter ]" "Byrnes was murdered by a dead man." "At least he wasn't knifed in the groin, like his brother." "He got his desserts, though." "Tare an'ouns, all this talk of fruitcake is making me hungry." "[ Crickets chirping ]" "Mnh!" "You have no idea how lucky you are." "[ Moan ]" "I don't feel lucky." "Well, you'll have to wear this for a few weeks." "It's nothing permanent." "Thanks, Dr. Freeman." "Well, let's get you to bed." "In the morning, when Sara wakes up, she'll make you some custard." "[ Knock at door ]" "Who's there?" "Morehouse:" "Quite a fight!" "[ Knocking ]" "Quite a fight!" "Shh!" "My wife's sleeping." "I am sure that contraption hurts, but if my man hadn't coldcocked you, well, the mob would've torn you to pieces." "Sorry for causing trouble." "Nonsense." "No man should have to apologize for owning a warrior's heart." "Jasper needs bedrest, major." "Yes, well, regarding that, what's best is" "Jasper leave the city, immediately." "Regardless of the outcome, folks aren't about to forget the beating you gave Irish Jake." "So I booked you passage on a ship to Halifax." "You depart first light." "My pathetic attempt at saying I'm sorry." "Marcus ran off without taking his cut." "Perhaps you'd hold on to it." "Doctor." "Major." "Brandy to your liking?" "Mmm." "It does fine." "Thank you." "That'll be all for tonight, Alasdair." "Yes, madam." "You looked as if you could use something strong." "Another dreary day spent solving heinous crimes." "Well, not all murders are heinous." "Some are ridiculous." "[ Laughs ]" "Besides, it's my understanding that you had quite the day yourself, with Annie acting the hard case again." "She's a tough nut, that girl." "Thought she'd have come around by now." "I don't want you to worry." "I'll speak with her." "Annie's got to learn that she can't go hoofing away each time something don't please her." "[ Sigh ]" "What?" "I'm sorry, Kevin." "Sorry?" "What are you sorry for?" "She got physical with me." "I'm not used to it." "Every moment was a bloody battle, it just..." "Elizabeth, where's... where is Annie?" "Gone." "What do you mean, "gone"?" "I sent her away to live with a family in California." "I hope she'll be happy there." "The farm, open air." "Thank you for the Brandy." "Kevin, please, don't!" "Look, this place, the city!" "I had to distance her from temptation!" "From her past!" "Sending her across country to some strangers ain't gonna cure her broken past, Elizabeth!" "It was not my intention to cause you more pain." "I know what Annie means to you." "You're a good man, Kevin." "You must've been a wonderful father, but she's not your... hmm." "No." "No, she's not." "I didn't get to tell her goodbye." "Oh." "[ Moan ]" "[ Gasping ]"