"Subtitles by DHM" "Announcing on Track 12, the 2:03 from Southampton." "Steve!" "Extra special's here." " Here you are, sir." " Thanks" " Senator Baumbacher?" " That is so." "Would you mind a moment, sir?" "Is this your first visit to England, Senator?" "That is so." "Have you any special purpose for you visit?" "No sir." "My visit's purely exploratory." "While here, I hope to have the opportunity   of observing as many aspects as possible of the British way of life." "I shall study closely the present crisis and the settling of it." "Heard the news?" "England's finished." "Hasn't got a ruddy chance." "That's it." "Little Hope for England." "England May Collapse Today." "The Crisis." "Well, I don't know." "I still think England's got sort of a chance." "Ah, thank heaven, you at least have not been   bitten by this bug of defeatism." "I beg your pardon, sir?" "You said, you still think that England have a chance?" "Oh well, if it doesn't rain, I think we'll pull through." "Ah, you mean the harvest." "No sir, I mean the Oval wicket." "We've 550 odd runs to make in the first innings." " And if those Aussies ..." " Be so good, sir, as to inform me   what the blazes you're talking about." "Cricket guvnor." "The final test." "England versus Australia at the Oval." "Cricket?" "Now that is illuminating." "I've heard these stories about the passionate excitement cricket   arouses over here, but I never did realise it could drive a grave   financial crisis off the national headlines." "Well, you see, sir, since the war we've had quite a few of these financial crises." "One a year on average." "And we only get the Aussies over here once in four." "Perhaps that's what it is." "But of course a war, I grant you, is different." "But a crisis ..." "Oh, thank you." "Thank you very much." " Where to, sir?" " The cricket game." "Oh, you mean the Oval." "Excuse me, sir, please." "Good morning." "Morning." "Going to be an exciting day?" "I hope not." "Oh?" "All I want is to see the boys piling up the runs quietly and not getting out." "I don't want any excitement, thanks." "Pardon me, sir, but as a stranger in these parts, may I ask a question?" "Go ahead." "This, I gather is the fourth day of this particular game." "I also gather that during the past few weeks, there have been four other games." "... each of five days, between these same teams." "Correct." "I also gather that this particular game cannot possibly decide anything   whichever team wins." "That's right." "It is also, I am told, very possible that neither side will in fact win this game." "Well let's hope so." "Now, looking around this field, I'd say at a rough estimate   there are 30,000 people here." "About that." "Now you hope there will be no excitement That is, you would say   a fairly general view among all these spectators." "Well, of course ... if they're English." "I see." "Yes, I see." "Well, what was your question?" "There's plainly no point in asking." "Perhaps you'd be kind enough to tell me something about the state of the game." "Well on Thursday and Friday, the Australians batted and   they made that score you see over there:" "563 runs for 7 wickets declared." "Is it important that I should know what 'declared' means?" "No..." "But on Saturday, we had a spot of rain so there was only about 10 minutes play." "And the crowd all got rain checks." "Good Lord, no." "There's no guarantee of play." "Look on your ticket, it's very clearly marked." "In those 10 minutes, Hutton and Washbrook, the English opening pair made 7 runs   for no wickets." "So in the next two days, it's up to England to try and   avoid getting beaten." "I see." "Couldn't they go further and try and win?" "Oh Good Lord, no." "There's no hope of that." "By Jove, there's something happening." "What?" "Well, they're taking the rain covers off." "Yes, that certainly is something." "You mean they may actually be going to play." "Well, if it doesn't rain in the next half hour." "Of course, it might rain, and that would wash play out altogether." "That would be fine." "You don't, I gather, then feel completely confident of your players' skill." "We've got some good opening batting." "That's our weak spot there, No 5." " Five, S Palmer" " Mmm." "Old Sam Palmer" "He used to be good, but he's just about had it now." "Who are you looking for, Sam?" "My youngster and his Auntie." "They're not there yet." "Your Reggie?" "I thought he was away to school camp." "No, he got back last night." "Listen Frank, if Cyril arrives early I don't want to see ..." " ... any square cutting off the fast bowlers." " No." "At any rate, not at the start." "And if they're bouncing   be careful." "Don't try and hit them for six." "Okay." "You're the boss." " Nervous as a kitten, isn't he?" " Well, you can't blame him, can you?" "How did you feel, your first test?" "Like him, I suppose." "Didn't know whether it was Christmas or Easter." "Have a word to the lad, Sam." "Alright skipper." "How's your Reggie getting on?" "Oh, wonderful." "Really wonderful." "His last report said that I ought to send him for a scholarship to Oxford." "I meant his cricket." "Oh." "Oh well." "He can bowl a bit, you know and he does make a few runs, now and then   for his ..." "Well, it's his school's third XI, he plays for." "Still, I can't say, mind you after what I've seen that he's likely to be..." "Another Sam Palmer." "Well, we can't expect everything, can we?" "He's keen, skipper, mind you." "Keen as mustard, he is." "Dreamy night." "Turgid night." "Umbrous night." "Umbrous night!" "Ebon night?" "Ebon night!" "Reggie, you still here?" "I told you to go out to the Oval and I'd meet you out there." "Okay Aunt, what is the time?" "It's 20 past eleven, and you'll be late now." "Oh, they probably won't start on time." "Oh yes they will." "It's a lovely sunny day outside." "Well, that doesn't mean they'll start on time, Auntie." "The wicket's probably drenched." "I don't know anything about that but your Dad spent a lot of money   for your seat, and I'm not having you wasting it." "What have you been doing, anyway." "Oh." "Well, I'll just go put my new hat on." " Are you ready?" " Yes" "Well, it doesn't look like it to me." "What about your hair." "Oh Aunt, who's going to worry about my hair at a beastly cricket match." "Beastly cricket match?" "I'll thank you, Reggie Palmer, to remember that you're the son   of a very famous cricketer   who's playing in probably his last test match ever." "And it's up to you, to say the least of it   to show him enough respect not to sit in the expensive   reserve seats at the Oval looking like a Dervish." "Now you go up to your room this minute and comb your hair." "Sibidus had fled, another new night had locked the satyrs of my   locked the satyrs of my heart." "And when Aurora's opal light   through open portals ..." "Oh no, what's it, the ruddy suckers." "Reggie" "Well, that's a nice way to comb your hair, I must say." "Come here." "Auntie, are you sure you want to go and see the whole day's play?" "Of course I'm sure." "Why?" "Well, you know you are as bored by cricket as I am." "Reg, you mustn't say that." "It's wicked." "But you admitted it, Auntie." "Don't you remember." "We were at ..." " ..." "Lords that day you said ..." " Well, I wasn't myself at Lords that day." "My feet were terrible." " Anyway, this is a test match." " That's worse." "Five ruddy days." "Reggie Palmer, how dare you talk like that." "This is cricket." "Like an institution." "It's historical." "It's ..." "Well, it's been going on for hundreds of years." "Well, we're going to the Oval now and that's flat." " Come along." " Oh dear." "I was so near finishing it too." "What's so special about it?" "Well, it's for Alexander Whitehead." "You see, when he sent me this photo, he also said that my Famine to Despair  showed promise." "Only the last of these last few stanzas let down the rest of it." "So I'm rewriting it." "And the trouble is, I have to send it off to him tonight, ... because he's flying to New York on Wednesday." "Please Auntie." " Alright Reg, you can finish it." " Oh Auntie, thanks awfully." "But mind, as soon as it's done, you're to come up to the Oval." "Half an hour or so should be safe." "Your Dad's not in until third wicket down." "Still, I wouldn't put it past those Australian fast bowlers to do   hat tricks and things." "That reminds me." "What do you think of this?" "Oh, I think it's marvellous." "It's ..." "It's sort of ..." "Well, it fits your style so well." "Yes, I thought so." "Thank you dear." " Your Dad was funny about it, you know." " Oh?" "Well, he doesn't know the difference between a Paris model and a plastic pixie hood." "Very well then, half an hour." "And mind, if your Dad finds out ..." "I don't know a thing about it." "Don't worry, I'll read up the papers." "Anything, I miss he won't catch me on." "I've often done it before." " Hey Sam, Syd Thompson wants you." " Right." " What's the weather going to be like, Syd?" " Proper scorcher." "Am I having supper with you tonight?" "That's right." "Half past 7." "My Reggie's back." "Fine." "And don't forget to watch out for Roy Wilson dragging his feet today." "I don't need you to tell me how to umpire young Sam." "Young Sam?" "Oh, he used to coach me when I was a fatted colt." "Still thinks of me as a kid." " How old are you, Sam?" " None of your business." "Too old to seem in the spit now anyway." "Anything on your mind, Sam?" "Oh, I was just wishing I was 20 years younger that's all." "I shouldn't worry." "You're just as good as ever you were." "Come on Cyril, let's get out there." "And good luck." "See you both at lunch." "And in a few moment's time, the batsmen ought to be coming out." "I'll just run through the batting order quickly for you." "Hutton and Washbrook will open of course." "And then Weller at number ..." "Talk about jitters." "Oh, you'll be alright when you get out there." "I was nearly sick just now." "You should have been sick." "I was my first test." " How many did you make?" " 106" " Gosh, I envy you." " Envy me?" "Well, you've done it all." "It's all behind you." "Whatever you do out there won't make any difference." "They'll just say, 'Good old Sam." "Pity you got out, but you can't make runs every time.'" "That's all you know." "Did you read Ned Algy in the Record this morning." "No, what did he say?" "Oh, about how that England's been carrying a passenger for the last four tests, and   how we shouldn't let sentiment blind ourselves to the fact that   S Palmer has just about had it." "Oh, you shouldn't listen to those writing baskets." "It's the people out there who count." "Looking for Cora?" "No my youngster and his aunt." " You married, Sam?" " No." "Widower." "How did you know about Cora?" "Oh, I've been to the 'Stag and Hounds' too." "She told me, you and she were pals." "She didn't tell me about you." "Why should she?" "I've only been there twice." "Funny her not telling me about meeting you." "Mad on cricket like she is." "... 4 to Hutton then makes him 7." "England 12 ..." " ... for no wicket." " What makes me sick is that before the war   you could walk in there and get six for a twin, and you'd be ..." " Quiet." " Moves in fast, and he bowls to Washbrook   and Washbrook plays it straight into second slip's hands." " Washbrook's out." " No ball." "No he's not." "He's alright" "England want a quiet morning." "Time and wickets are as important as runs." " Small Scotch, Cora." " ... but with England 12 for no wicket   then we return light programme listeners to the studio." "Oh look, I can't take these test matches." "It's just about killing me." "Sorry dear, what was it you said?" "Small Scotch please." "Ah, doesn't make any difference." "Doesn't sound as if he's going to stay long." "England all out before lunch, if you ask me." "You don't want to talk like that Mr Coleshaw." "That's defeatist talk that is." "Well I mean, who have we got to come after these two." "There's a lot to come, if you ask me." "That'll be two shillings, dear." "Oh of course, there's always Denis." "But this new chap, this Frank Weller   this one that's coming in next, I reckon he won't make many runs." "Oh, and why do you reckon that?" "Well, I mean, after all, what do we know about him?" "Quite enough, I should have thought." "Third in the batting averages, and   and a hundred for Lancashire against the Aussies." "Ah, but a test match that's different." "It's temperament you want in a test match." "At least, that's the way I see it." "I expect that's the way we all see it, Mr Willis dear." "But, there's nothing to say he hasn't got temperament 'til we see, is there?" "He was in here last Thursday, Cora." "Did you know?" "He was in here again Saturday, as it happens." "Nice looking young chap, don't you think?" "Oh well, depends what you call nice looking doesn't it." "She's blushing." "Cora's blushing." "I don't know what you mean, I'm sure." "Oh Cora, we thought you only had eyes for one test cricketer." " He's gone up in the batting order." " And down in age group." "Very funny I'm sure." "All of you." "There they are in the box going to." "Can I have these a moment, Sam?" " Who are you looking for?" " Oh, just a girl I know." " Oh, I'm so sorry." " Not at all, ma'am." "Think nothing of it." "What was that applause for?" "The batter's just hit a high fly off a foul ball." " The batsman has just hit a four off a no-ball." "– Oh." "Can I have a look, Frank?" "When did you say, you met Cora?" "Sure, I thought he was out." "What did you say?" "Cora." "When did you say you met her?" "Oh, about a week ago." "Can't get over her not telling me anything about it." " You courting, Sam?" " Courting?" "Me with a boy of seventeen?" "What does that prove?" "That I'm too old for those sort of larks." " Huh." " Just because I go into the old Stag now and then   and Cora and I ..." "I'm a sort of uncle to her, if you know what I mean." "And she tells me ..." "Gosh, this is it." " Good luck, Frank." " Thank you." "Frank, don't try and get off the mark too quick." "If you can't keep them too well, the first couple of overs   just play them back, or cover up and watch them go by." "Thanks, Sam." "You'll be alright, son." "See you at lunch." "Good luck, Frank." "Let's have one of your best hundreds, Frank." "What's it like out there, Cyril?" "There's nothing in it at all." "I played a bad shot." " Good luck, Frank." " Thanks." "The time is 12 o'clock." "We are now taking light programme listeners   back to the Oval for a further report on the day's play." "And here at the Oval, England are 40 for 1 wicket." "Blast, we lost a wicket." " What did I tell you." " Washbrook caught bowled Lindwall - 22." "Here comes young Frank Weller." "Out to play his first test innings." " Brilliant young Lancashire left-hander." " Cora!" " Coming dear." " You better hurry ducky, your beau's in." "Who knows, he mightn't last so long." " Frank?" " Might be Frank to you   but its Doctor Weller, to me." "Now here's his first ball from Lindwall." "Left outside his off-stump, and he thrashes at it, and   he was lucky not to get a touch on that one." "Ruddy young fool." "40 for 1." "Second ball." "He plays forward and pops it up   just short of short leg, and Cornes almost made a catch out of that." "It's no good." "I can't stand it." "You can listen, if you like and let me know what's happening   after it's happened." "I prefer it that way." "You know, Fred, I don't this is such a joke." "I really believe our Cora has gone off the deep end good and proper ..." " ... about that young chap." " ... he bowls." "It's a good length ..." " ... ball outside the off-stump." " Poor old lass." "... and there he is." "Weller off the mark." "A characteristic rolling   cover drive off his back foot." "Another homer!" "Hot dog!" "Could you tell me the right time, please." "Why certainly, ma'am." "My gosh, it's only 5 minutes after 12." " Thanks." " This goes on until half past six?" "Say, don't those guys out there ever get tired standing around   for seven hours solid?" "There's a lunch interval at half past one." "Oh, am I glad to hear it." "The time is just two minutes short of half past one." "Before the next programme, here's ..." " ... a record of a Chopin prelude." " Half past one!" "Gosh!" "Yes yes, of course." "Got it now." "I've got it now ..." "... or have I?" " Say, something's happening." " Lunch." "Tell me, is there a quick lunch counter at this stadium." "Well there is a place where you can get sandwiches, I think,   but it's not exactly quick." " There is a restaurant." " Fine." "Would you care to join me, ma'am?" " Well done, skip." " Good show, Frank." " The bowling looked good from here." " Yes." " Frank had a sticky time, didn't he." " Well, he's still out there anyway." "He'll be right this afternoon." "You'll see." "Nice work, young fellow." "You've got over your nerves now." "Yes, you'll be hitting them all over the field, this afternoon." "Yes, Frank, I will." "I forgot to ask you, Sam." "Are you taking that coaching job at Eton?" "No." "I've turned it down, skipper." "I thought you liked the idea." "Well, I did in a way." "Yes." "Good job, mind you." "Not saying it isn't." "I like coaching youngsters, and I'd still be with cricket, but   we can't always do what we want to do, can we?" "I don't see why not in this case." "Well, look at it this way, skipper." "If Reggie's going to get on and perhaps   go to Oxford." "He might be meeting some of these young lads from Eton   and making friends with them perhaps." "And then, if he's got to say who his Dad is well ..." " You see my point, don't you" " Not entirely, Sam." "I think you forget the world's moved on a bit since you were Reggie's age." "I don't know." "Young chaps are much the same today, I'd say, skipper." "Still rather sensitive about their Dad's having the right sort of job and all that." "No." "I've bought myself a sports goods business." "You're going to be a big business man are you?" "Oh no, I can't have much to do with it." "I've no head for business." "Never have." "No, it looks as though I'm going to do a lot of gardening for the rest of my life." "Sam, I ..." "I'd like to meet your Reggie." "Would you really, skipper?" "Well, I'll bring him up to the   dressing room at lunch time tomorrow if you like." " That would be grand." " He'd be really thrilled to meet you." "The night's young, and I let her slip" "My crushed heart bleeding" "Gosh." "Just about perfect." "Just about perfect." "Lovely talk and no error." " Oh hello, Auntie" " Hello Auntie indeed." "I thought you'd got yourself run over or something." "I'm awfully sorry." "I got stuck again." "In fact, I got stuck several times." "I quite forgot the time." "What is it?" "Seven o'clock." "Oh Lord." "It isn't." "You mean it's over." "As if you didn't know." "Oh, I didn't – honest I didn't." "What happened?" "What's the close of play, Auntie." "Quick." "Dad'll be back in a second." "If you think, I'm going to help you lie to your father, my boy   you're very much mistaken." "You'll take your medicine from him." "Of all the disgraceful things to do." "And your Dad's last match, too." "Did he ... did he bat?" "Well, luckily for you, he didn't." "What's the score, Auntie?" "What's the score?" "I've got to make sense, when he comes in." "Oh please Auntie." "I really didn't know what I was doing." "I promise you." "I don't want to upset him." "You don't either, do you, Auntie?" "You're a wicked naughty boy." "England made 320 something ..." " ... for 2 wickets." " Alright." " Did you bring the paper in?" " No I didn't." "Oh Lord." "You'll have to tell it to me then." " Who made the runs?" " O Lord, my feet." " Who made the runs, Auntie?" " This new chap, Weller." " He made 120." " Uh huh." "Not out?" " No, he was out." " How?" " Here take this." " How was he out, Auntie?" " He was caught." " Where?" "Silly boy." "How do I know where?" "By that chap who stands right of ..." " ... the bowler, I think." " Mid off." " Was it a good catch?" " Well, he caught it." " Anything sort of thrilling happened?" " Thrilling?" "In a test match?" "Don't think it will rain tonight, do you Syd?" "Shouldn't think so." "Wind's from the north." "Drinks." "Drinks." "Shall I tell him, I'm ill or something?" "You'll do no such thing, Reggie Palmer." "You'll have supper with your Dad and Mr Thompson and make the best of it." "See." " You didn't have any lunch, I suppose." " No Auntie." " Oh yes you did." " But ..." "You had it with me and an American gentleman." "In that restaurant across the road." "Remember?" "It was tomies and salad and a very nasty trifle." "And it cost the American gentleman 16 and 4 pence." " It was just about 8 and 4 pence too much." " Yes Auntie." "Reggie." "Are you there, Reg?" "O Lord, I hope I can make sense." "Hello Dad." "I'm sorry you didn't get a chance to bat." "I wasn't." "How did you get back so quick?" "Oh, we caught a bus alright." "You must have been lucky." "When I left there were still queues a mile long." " Oh." " Come and meet Syd Thompson." " Syd, this is my Reg." " Glad to meet you." " Yes he looks like you, Sam." " Oh I can't see it myself." "More like his mother, I'd say." " Enjoy the game today?" " Yes yes, very much." " What's this, Reg?" " Oh just something I wrote   this morning before I went to the cricket." " What's ebrown?" " Ebon" "It's nothing, just taken for ebony in poetry." "Can you now?" "Well this is quite something." "Do you want to read it, Syd?" "It's a poem." "Eh?" "No not me." "Not unless it's about cricket." "Cricket?" "Poets don't write about cricket." "Come and help me lay the table." "Have a drink, Syd." "That I do." " Skipper batted well, didn't he?" " Yes." "So did Weller." " Yes, after lunch." " No wasn't so good before lunch, was he." "Nervous as a kitten." "Just like me 24 years ago, practically to the day." "And you made a hundred in your first test match too, didn't you Dad?" " That's right." " And you'll make a hundred tomorrow   in your last, I bet." "Hutton and Crockett's too when Weller got out like that." "If Denis had gone six I wouldn't have fancied going in tonight, just before the end." " It was a good catch, wasn't it." " Good catch?" "The one Weller got out to at mid-off." "If that's what you call a good catch now I know what's wrong with your fielding." "A child of six couldn't have missed it." "Besides it wasn't mid-off it was mid-on." "Oh yes, that's right." "Mid-on." "Oh for heaven's sake, Reg." "Haven't you learned the difference between   mid-off and mid-on yet?" "Well, it was a bit difficult to see from where we were, you know Dad." "Well, they were good seats." "They cost good money." " Oh you're back dear, that's good." " Yes." " What was wrong with the seats, Ethel?" " Nothing was wrong with them, why?" "Well, Reg said he couldn't see very well." "Oh well, ah, now you come to mention it." "He did have rather a big man   sitting in front of him." "Well, that shouldn't have made any difference." "That stand is tiered." "Well this man was very big." "He was almost a giant." "Ooh, damn, my feet, they're terrible." "What with the heat and the crowds   and queuing for that tube for half an hour   I'm fair worn out." " You said bus, didn't you Reg?" " I meant to." "You've been giving me the tail, Reg?" "You or your aunt." " Me, Dad." " You didn't go?" " No." " What was the matter?" " Didn't feel well or something." " No." "I was writing, you see Dad   and I forgot the time." " Forgot the time?" " Well, that's true." "When you're writing, I can't explain it, but you get so worked up and so   oh I don't know." "It's like being drunk as I imagine it." "And it's as if, as if there isn't just isn't ... time." "Do you understand what I mean, Dad." "I might have been batting today, you know." " Yes, I know." " For the last time in a test match." "And I wouldn't like you to have missed that Reg." "Even if it was only just the one ball, I wouldn't like you to have missed it." "Stupid, I know, but that's the way it is." " You coming tomorrow?" " Well yes of course I am." "Well, you've only missed Frank Weller then." "And you'll have plenty of chances seeing him in the future." "Dad, I'm awfully sorry." "Really I am." "It's alright Reg." "Only the next time anything like this happens, don't tell me any more stories." "Makes me think you're scared of me, and I don't like that." "I don't like it a bit." "Sorry Dad." "Remember that." " Aren't you having one?" " No." "I've got to think of tomorrow." "This is good, is it Reg?" "Well, I think so Dad." "I'm sending it to Alexander Whitehead." "Aren't you troubling, Mr Whitehead a bit too much?" "Well, he's always saying in the papers how he wants to help young poets." "Oh that reminds me." "Do you mind if we look at the television tonight?" "We're doing a one act play of his, and I do want to see it." "Yes." "Oh, I like a good play   especially when it's short." "Supper's ready." "Good evening, Syd." "Evening, Ethel." "And if Mr Whitehead does buy that poem of yours for £100 or so ..." "I'd trouble you for 15 shillings of it, because that's what you owe me   for your seat." "I hope there's enough, Sam." "Anyway, you at least had a good lunch   which is more than Reggie and I did." "And what did you and Reggie have for lunch?" "Tell him, Reggie." "Tell him." "Well go on, silly." "Tell." "You haven't forgotten have you?" " Oh Auntie." " Oh." "So you've found out have you?" "Well don't blame me   for having whatsoever to do with it." "Oh no." "I know Ethel." "I can see that." " Find out what?" " Never you mind." "And what was the tale you wanted him to tell me about lunch." " Will you be quiet." " Fine pair." "Conspiracy in my own family." "You silly boy." "How did you give it away?" " You did." " I did?" " Well, I like that I must say." " You said Weller was caught by   the chap who stood to the right of the bowler." "Well, Ethel never could tell her left hand from her right   isn't that so, Ethel?" "And how's the world been treating you these days?" "By kind permission of the third programme of the BBC   we are presenting tonight a comedy in one act by Alexander Whitehead   entitled 'Follow the Turtle to my Father's Tomb'." "The cast is as follows: the part of Godfrey is played by Valentine Dyall ..." " Alright Ethel?" "– Make yourself at home, Syd." " ... the part of Antonia by   and before we begin I would like to warn you that we do not consider   this play suitable for children." "Oh good." "The scene in limbo." "The time is now   or perhaps yesterday, ... or possibly even tomorrow." "Limbo?" "Where's that?" "Sort of hell." "Oh, how nice." "Come." "Come." "Who are you?" "Jocasta!" "Clythenope!" "Antonia." "What do you want with me?" "An answer." "An answer." "We await your faithful answers." "Just as the hinge of fate   wings the future like an undimmed brain." "Which of us do you allow?" "Antonia?" "Jocasta?" "Clythenope?" "Which?" "Ah." "How came I here?" "I suppose the surgeon's knife slipped." "Somewhere in the neighbourhood of my gall bladder   dividing all the gall into three parts   which is now the bright sword of the archangel Michael." "... poised over my dead skull like a single blade of the aurora borealis." "And the swabs, which the theatre sisters littered on the dunes of my belly ..." " Well." " ... now litter the sky   like bellying clouds." "The hiss of the anaesthetic   is the whisper of an eternal wind in the great conch of God the earth." " Oh." " Where am I?" "In hell or in heaven?" "Heaven is hell, and hell is heaven." " Such is life in death ..." " That's the 45 bus going past." "... where one is dead but no living, where one is alive but not dying   what is anything but nothing." "Nothing." "Nothing." "I thought you said this was a comedy?" "Yes Auntie, of course it is." "Oh ... well, it probably gets more comedy later on." "The scene now changes to a graveyard in Adrian Evan." "I don't think I'll come in, Sam." "I'll say goodnight." "Alright, Syd." "I'm sorry about the play." "Bit above our heads, I'm afraid." "I can see why they said 'not for children'." " Goodnight, Sam." "Thanks for supper." " You're welcome." " Good evening Mr Palmer." " Evening." " Goodnight, Sam." "Good luck." " Thank you." "Good evening Sam." "Going to beat your own record tomorrow?" "I hope so." "Last orders, Ladies and Gentlemen, please." "Last orders, please." " There you are, dear." " Thank you." " Hello, Sam." " Hello." " Another guinness, dear?" " No, I've had my two, dear." "Well, have this one on the house to celebrate Frank's hundred." "Oh, I don't mind if I do." "Here, put a little something in that to take home, will you dear." "You're just in time." "Mild and bitter?" "No, I'm off it tonight." "I'll have a lemonade or something." "Not on the house either." "Did I love you or you or you?" "Or all three equally?" "A direct question demands an answer after it." "Say." "Say." "Say!" "And so as my soul flies, rocket pure, through that great dome of discovery   that men call the sky, and as the scarlet thread of my tangled life   is rewound on the remorseless looms of the Gods, so do I give you my answer." "My answer is ..." "Yes." "Oh that was wonderful, Auntie." "Yes dear." "Wonderful." "Imagine his answer being Yes." "Oh, I think that man's a genius." " Time please." " Goodnight Cora." "Goodnight all." "There you are, dear." "Have it on the house." "Watch your step, Daisy." "Oh, Mr Harbolt will see me home." "Won't you, ducky?" "Not tonight, Daisy." " Goodnight Cora." " Goodnight." " Goodnight Mr Sefton." " Goodnight dear." "Time gentlemen please." "Not you dear, of course." "I didn't know you met Frank Weller." " Didn't you?" " Goodnight, Cora." " Goodnight, dear." " I thought I'd told you." " You didn't, you know." "Didn't I?" "Must have forgotten." "Goodnight, Mr Burrows." " Goodnight Mrs Pepper, come again." " Goodnight Cora." " Goodnight Cora." " Goodnight Tony." "See you tomorrow." " Goodnight." " Come on Bill, you're always last." "There's a good boy." "Cora." " Oh Fred, you can lock up now." " Okay." " Mmm?" " About this chap, Frank Weller." "Oh?" "What about him?" "I wouldn't see to much of him, if I were you." " Oh?" "Why not?" " You know why not, Cora." "You know his reputation ... with the girls." "Well, like he was involved in a divorce case?" "Nothing in that except bad luck." " How often have you seen him." " Twice." "Why?" "Well, did he ..." "Has he ..." "Well, I mean, did he suggest that ..." "Of course he did." "He suggested I fly to Bagdad with him next Tuesday." "Oh, talk sense Sam Palmer, do." "No need to take that tone, Cora." "What I'm telling you is for your own good." "Not for yours, I presume." "I don't know what you mean about that either." "Well, it's a funny thing." "You said exactly the same thing about   Matt Parsons and Mr Hardy." "Well, it was two of both of them." "You know what they were after." "Of course I know what they were after." "How do you know I didn't want them to get it." " Cora!" " I'd like to know why you think   you've got the right to manage my life, Sam Palmer." "It's not as if there was ... as if there was anything between us." "For the last two years, you've just stood at that bar gooping away   and making goat's eyes every night of your blasted life   whenever you were in town." "And apart from a few kisses   under the mistletoe at Christmas and some mushy letters that don't say   anything more definite than I wish I was back at the old stud again   nothing's happened." "Nothing at all." "Nothing." "And yet, if I so much as look at another man, you talk as if   I was tottering on the brink of a bottomless pit or something." "Well, I don't know, I'm sure." "I'd just like to know what   I'm supposed to be doing while you're waiting around there to make up your mind." "Put a veil over me face?" "Crack a bottle over the head   of the first man who tries to be a bit friendly with me?" "You behave as if we were married or something." "Well, we're not married and we're not 'or something' either." "And if you want to know where I'm going next Tuesday after hours   I'm going to the Spotted Dog with Frank Weller." "And I shall go anywhere else he wants to take me." "Perhaps even to the bottomless pit." "Who knows." "And my time was up 5 minutes ago." "And I don't need any more help, thank you." "And if you don't want to get me into trouble, you'd better buzz off." "Well, I don't know what to say, Cora." "I don't think there's anything to say." "Well, I suppose you're right." "I'm ..." "I'm nearly old enough   to be your father." "That's no reason why you should behave like one." "That thing you said just now about ..." "that thing about 'or something'." "That was a joke wasn't it?" "Oh, I gave myself a stitch laughing." "I'd like to think it was a joke." "I'm a bit old fashioned, you see." "And well, the girl I ask to   to marry me." "You see I want to be well you know sure about." "Very interesting, I'm sure." "I really don't see what your views on marriage have got to do with me." "Oh ..." "Goodnight Cora." "Goodnight." "How many runs exactly did Frank Weller make today?" "A hundred and twenty." "I'm going to double that, tomorrow." "Well, we'll see won't we." "Yes." "We'll see." " Auntie ..." " Mmm?" "Do you think, I dare ring him up?" "Ring him up?" "But they'd never give you his number." "I know the number." "It was on his letter." "But you can't go ringing up famous authors in the middle of the night, love." "But it's not the middle of the night, and I'm sure he wouldn't mind." "After all, I only want to tell him how much I enjoyed his play." "No one could object to that." "Well, I know I wouldn't." "And then I could just slip it in about sending him the poem, and   and then I could be sure he'd read it couldn't I." "I don't know, I'm sure." "But Henley's only a toll like this ..." "only about ninepence." "Reg, I'm not at all sure about this." "Four of the one card in the universe that gives him the pack   you have to play." "Well, if you'd given me some indication as to what you wanted   instead of sitting there goggling at me." "Are you suggesting that I should have cheated, is that it?" "Well you usually do." "What an absurd idea." "Pay no attention to my secretary." "Her sense of humour   is roughly as acute as Nero's." " Partner, may I go out." " No. – Yes." "Damn, answer it will you, Sammi." "You answer it." "You're nearer." "My secretary." "Hullo." "Yes this is Alexander Whitehead speaking." "This is Reginald Palmer ..." "Reginald Palmer." "Yes, I sent you some poems the other week." "I just rang up to tell you how much I enjoyed your play   'Follow the Turtle to My Father's Tomb'" "Yes, it was on television tonight." "This is entirely your fault." "I'm in the clutches of a   hysterical fan." "Oh, thank you so much." "No, I'm afraid I didn't see it myself." "I was working." "Did you know they were televising 'Turtle' tonight?" " No." "Were they?" " You're sacked." "You sent me some poems?" "Oh yes yes, of course I remember." "Yes, I thought they were excellent." "Oh thank you so much Mr Whitehead." "For heavens sake, rescue me Sammi." "As a matter of fact, the one you told me to rewrite   I'm sending down to you first thing tomorrow morning." "Yes, I'm afraid I missed the last post." "Oh, that's splendid." "I'll tell you what I'll do." "To be quite sure that I get it." "I'll have my secretary   Miss Fanshaw pick it herself up from the post office on her bicycle." "No no, she won't mind at all." "It's only two miles." " Not all of it's uphill." " Hurry up, Alex." "Yes, well, this moment I must get back to work now." "It was most kind of you to call." "We must meet some time." "Oh, I'd love to, Mr Whitehead." "Yes." "Yes, I could come down to Henley any time." "Um how about Wednesday morning?" "Your plane doesn't leave   until 4pm does it?" "This juvenile delinquent seems to know more about my movements   than I do myself." "I think I shall engage him as my secretary." "Well, I'm afraid Wednesday won't be any good." "It will have to be tomorrow." "Alex what are you doing?" "I must see him now." "If I don't he'll start a   'Down with Alexander Whitehead' club or something." "I shall be coshed coming out of the Atheneum." "I'm afraid the evening won't be any good." "Better make it the morning about 11:00." "He's rung off." "I think this must be the most awful thing that's ever happened." "Well, you can't go dear, and that's flat." "But if I don't, he'll think I'm terribly rude." "Ring him up again." "Tell him you made a mistake and you've   got another engagement." "To go to a cricket match." "He would think I was mad." "Don't you realise, Auntie, this man is the greatest poet since Shakespeare?" "I can't insult him, just like that." "I don't care who he is, dear, or what he is." "But Auntie, I ..." " Hello Sam." " Hello." " You alright, dear?" " Yes, why?" "I don't know." "You look a bit worried." "Oh, I'm alright." "Well, I'm off to bed, and you'd better do likewise." "A lot depends on tomorrow." " Goodnight, love." " Goodnight, Ethel" " Goodnight, Reg." " Goodnight, Auntie." "Reg, you know Cora don't you?" "At the Stag, I mean." "Oh yes, you had her to tea one day." "What do you think of her?" "Oh, I don't know, Dad." "She seemed a bit ... sort of ... well ... ordinary" "Hm, which is another way of saying common, I suppose." " Well, I ..." " Alright alright." "Bed." "Thanks Dad." " Dad." " Yes, Reg?" "I ... um ... rang up Alexander Whitehead tonight." " Did you?" " Yes." "Yes, he was awfully kind." "He asked me to go over to Henley and see him." "Did he really?" "When." "Oh, some time." " Dad." " Yes, Reg?" "Oh, doesn't matter." "By the way, I want you to come up To the dressing room   in the luncheon interval, tomorrow." "They'll let you through with a note from me." "Oh, why Dad?" "Mr Hutton wants to meet you." "Mr Hutton?" "Oh yes, the English captain." "That's a thrill for you, isn't it?" "Yes Dad." "Quite a thrill." " Reg." " Yes." "What would you say if I was to tell you that ..." "What Dad?" "Mmm." "It doesn't matter." "It'll keep." " Goodnight." " Goodnight, Dad." " Morning Reg." " Morning Auntie." "Oh, I glad you've got some blue on." "Makes you look almost human." " You telephoned that Mr Whitehead yet?" " No." "Well it is a bit early." "You can do it after breakfast." " Morning Ethel." " Morning love." "Oh." "You didn't sleep well did you?" "What makes you think that?" "Well you don't look as if you did." "Well, I did anyway." "You should have taken one of those pills." "How do you expect to make runs if you don't get to sleep?" "Stop it Ethel, do you mind." " Well, I was only saying." " I know what you were saying   but I said stop it, if you don't mind." "I don't want to be reminded of what I've got to do today." "I'm sorry dear, I'm sure." "Well, I'm glad you've got the new suit on." "This is what you've got to hand in at the door, Reg." " The door?" " Yes, at the pavilion to send up to the dressing room." " Oh yes, thank you." " Dad." "I've got to tell you something." " Yes Reg?" "Last night, you said I wasn't to tell you any more stories." "You said, I wasn't to be scared of you." "Didn't you Dad?" " Yes." " Well then, it's this." "I'm not going to the Oval this morning, Dad." "I've got to go to Henley." "Don't listen to him, Sam." "He's talking nonsense." "It isn't true." "Did you know about this?" "Well, I knew it was in his mind, but I never thought ..." "How can you go upsetting your Dad like that." "This morning of all mornings." "I shouldn't have let you do something you know is out of the question." "I'm not asking him to let me do something, Auntie." "I'm telling him I'm going to do something." " Oh you wicked boy." "How dare ..." " Let me handle this, Ethel, if you don't mind." "Let's get this straight." "Why have you got to go to Henley?" "To see Alexander Whitehead." "Oh." "Do you remember promising me you'd come to the Oval today?" "I didn't promise Dad." "I only said I would." "You only said you would." "You happen to remember why you said you would, or   have you forgotten me telling you it was important to me   that you should be there?" "Today of all days." "No Dad, I haven't forgotten." "Alright, then." "Well there's no more to be said then, is there." " Have you got your fare?" " Yes." " Do you know how much it is?" " Yes, I've got enough to get there, anyway." "And how are you proposing to get back?" "Well, you know, I thought I might hitchhike, or perhaps Mr Whitehead might ..." "You can give me the change this evening." "Thanks Dad." "I think it's the most disgraceful wicked cruel thing I've ever heard." " Yesterday was bad enough, but this ..." " Alright Ethel." "Off you go, Reg." "Go on catch your train." "Dad, I ..." "I've got to try and explain." "I know you think it's terrible of me not to put off Mr Whitehead   and come and see you bat." "But cricket's been your life and of course you see there's something   awfully important." "That's perfectly natural." "But one's got to keep some sort of sense of values, Dad." "After all, it is only a game, and you can't compare it to   well to the more serious things of life, like   like the things Mr Whitehead stands for." "Oh gosh." "I'm making it worse, I suppose." "What I mean is, Dad, whatever you think about this game, it   it just resolves itself into banging a bit of red leather   about a field with a piece of wood." "You do it well and I do it badly and I'm sorry." "But I don't see why I have to give up the chance of my life   just to go and watch you doing it." "Oh, I'm sorry." "I've said a lot of things I didn't mean to say." "Someday, when my mind is ..." "I'll get back from Henley as quick as I can   and I'll go straight to the Oval." "I hope I'll be in time to see you bat." "Thanks for the pound." "I'll pay you back." "Well, Sam Palmer." "How you could just sit there and let him say that I ..." "Answer that, will you Ethel." "It'll be Syd Thompson." "I'm giving him a lift up to the ground." " Morning Ethel." " Morning Syd." "What was your Reggie doing, running out of the house like that?" "He nearly knocked me down." "Dreadful thing's happened." "I'm that upset, Syd, really I am." "Do you know what that wicked boy's gone and done now?" " He's ..." " Ethel, if you're coming with us   you'd better go up and get ready." "Alright dear." "Is it going to rain, Syd?" " About tea time, I'd say." " Better get my 'mac' Syd." "Trouble?" "Yes, our Reggie just gave us a piece of his mind." "That's all." " What about?" " Cricket." "Said it was just banging a bit of red leather round a field with a piece of wood." "Hit him for a six?" "Why not?" "Oh, because he's right I suppose." "After all when you get down to it that's all it is, isn't it?" "Sammy, are you feeling alright?" "Oh, it's a good game alright." "I'm not saying it isn't." "Best in the world, I think but then I'm good at it." "Or at least, I used to be." "You know Syd, my father never wanted me to go in for cricket." "Wanted me in the building trade, like him." "Well, shows how wrong he was, doesn't it." " Does it?" " Well, you've made a bit, haven't you." "Oh, I've made a bit, alright." "Cricket's been good to me   and I'm not complaining, but the trouble with making a game   your profession is that you're at the top too young." "The rest of way is a gentle slide down." "Not so gentle sometimes." "It makes one feel so ruddy useless and old." "Well, at least you reached the top Sam." "More than I did." "Your names known to millions." "Yes, Syd, and I'm grateful for that I suppose." "But it isn't enough." "It isn't nearly enough." "A man's got to feel that he's justified himself in his life somehow   and well building things is different." "What you've built is there when you've done and you can look at it   and say that's what I've done and then call it useful and   I've served a good purpose doing it." "Writing, that's the same I suppose." "What you've written is there   on paper and people can read it and act it   even if a lot of people don't understand it or appreciate it." "But banging a bit of leather around a field." "I'll bang his bit of leather when I see him." "Oh, it isn't only Reg." "I've been thinking it a long time." "Only, I had hoped that Reg wasn't thinking it too." "That's not how it is with your kids?" " I don't expect he meant it." " Oh he meant it alright." "Oh well." "Syd, I want runs today more than I've ever wanted them before." "You'll get them." "Only, if you're going to be out LBW   don't do it my end, there's a fellow." "Now don't look at my feet." "I know I've got the wrong shoes on   but I'm not killing myself for anyone today." " That's quite a hat, Ethel." " Oh, thanks Syd." "Some people don't like it you know." "Some people think it looks silly." "I didn't say it looks silly." "I simply said I thought you had ..." " ... it on the wrong way round, that's all." " Oh." "She'll never forgive me for that, you know." "Now you're not going to let what Reg said upset you, are you." " Reggie?" "I've forgotten all about him." " I don't think." "Well, here's my lucky farthing." "It always works." "Put it in your pocket before you go in to bat." "Thanks love." " Yes?" " My name is Palmer." "I have an appointment ..." " ... with Mr Whitehead." " I think there must be some mistake." "I'm his secretary and make all Mr Whitehead's appointments for him." "Oh, but I've come all the way from London especially." " When did you make this appointment?" " Last night on the telephone." "Oh ... oh yes, I think he told me something about it." " Would you come in, Mr Palmer." " Thank you." "What time did Mr Whitehead say he would see you?" " Eleven o'clock." " Was it about anything special?" "Well, he asked me to show him this poem of mine." "A poem." "I see." "Thank you." "Well, if you wouldn't mind sitting down." "I'll go and see Mr Whitehead and tell him you're here." "The only thing is, he's really busy at the moment." "It may be just a little bit difficult to disturb him." "I shan't be a minute." " Go away." " Time to surface, Alex." "Alex!" " Did you pinch me?" " Yes." " You're sacked." " I can't be." "You sacked me last night." "I don't remember doing anything so sensible last night." "What idiotic game, Canasta is." " Did I really lose 8 and ten pence?" " Yes." "Oh dear." "Too much sun." "Take it away." "What about your 'Ode to the Sun' in the Listener last year?" "I hadn't been playing Canasta 'til 5 in the morning." "It's only 11." "I haven't had my eight hours." "Fanshaw, you horrible woman go away." "I'm going to sleep again." "You'll do nothing of the kind." "You've got a lot on hand today." "Later, dear, later." "Besides, Master Palmer is downstairs waiting for you." "Who might Master Palmer be, as if anybody cared." "The character you invited down to see you last night." "I did nothing of the ki..." "I did." "How dare you let me do a thing like that." "What else do I pay you for except to stop me inviting beastly little boys ..." " ... to my country retreat?" " A few other things." " Well, cope with him dear." " How?" "I've developed a very serious illness in the night." "It doesn't prevent you flying to America tomorrow." "No." "It only lasts 24 hours." "Tropical origin." "Very rare." " He's come all the way from London." " Then he can go all the way back to London." "He'll go when you've seen him and not before." "Oh bother." "That was his poem." "He wanted you to comment on it." "I have commented." "Now read it properly and come down and be sweet to the poor boy." "Remember, you were his age ... once." "I very much doubt it." "How long will you be?" "You've got an awful lot of letters to do today." "I should think about 2 hours." "I've come to remember, I can't see anyone at all this morning." "As for the letters." "Out of the question." " Why?" " I have my poem to write for the New Statesman." " Well you can do that this afternoon." " It will take me all day." " When are you going to see this boy then." " In the spring." "Alex, you've got to see him." "I won't have you, behaving like this." " Do you understand?" " Very well then I shall see him ..." " ... at lunch time." " Do you want him to stay for lunch?" "Are absolutely insensible to human suffering?" "I shall see him for 5 minutes at 1:30 precisely." " I may give him a cocktail." " Cocktail?" "Well ginger pop then." "Do go away Jess." "How can I enjoy my breakfast with   you fluttering round me like an expectant vulture." "Shoo!" "'Ebon Night' TS Ella Willer Eliot." "Oh, it's rather good." "Oh, Mr Palmer." "I'm so sorry." "I'm afraid there's been a little mistake." "Mr Whitehead is quite sure that the time he arranged with you   on the telephone last night was for half past one." "Half past one." "But he said 11." "He did really." "Well perhaps you misheard him." " Oh gosh." "How awful." "Couldn't he possibly ..." " No." "I'm afraid not." "He's very busy at the moment." "Would you like me to make another appointment for you?" "Well, how long is he going to be in New York?" " Rather a long time, I'm afraid." " Oh, I think I'll stay." " The harm's done now, anyway." " The harm?" "Well you see, I shouldn't really be here at all." " Where should you be?" " Oh, it doesn't matter." " Is it important?" " Well, it depends rather on how   you look at it." " Good morning." " Oh, morning." "– Good morning, Ma'am." " Oh, good morning." "My word, I am surprised to see you here again today." "Well, ma'am, I said to myself this morning, if they can take it   I guess I can too." " Hello Sam." " Oh, hello." " Well, you're not windy are you?" " Yes." "I thought you old chaps got over that." "You never get over it." "Oh there's nothing to it, Sam." "It's easy stuff." "You're taking Cora out on Tuesday, aren't you?" " That's right." "She tell you?" " Yes." "Would you do something for me Frank, if I asked you?" " Oh, I expect so." "What?" " Tell her you can't go." " Why?" " Never mind." "Tell her." "I thought you said you weren't interested." "I didn't say that." "I said we weren't courting." "I get you." " Well?" " Well, it's a bit up to her, isn't it?" "It's up to you too." "Oh I wouldn't like to be rude to a lady, Sam." "Of course, if she likes to tell me the date's off, well   that's a different matter." "I see." "It may mean you and I having a bit of a quarrel, Frank." "Oh, we wouldn't quarrel, Sam." "You and me?" "What an idea." "Don't do that, do you mind." "Clean shirt." "Okay, Sammy boy." "If that's the way you want it." "Let battle commence." "In half an hour's play this morning, then England have scored 23 more runs   without losing a wicket." "So with England 286, we're returning to the studio." " Thank heavens." " Poor old Sam, he's having to wait   for his knock isn't he." "Bet he's twittering up there on that balcony, poor old chap." " What." "Sam Palmer?" " That's right." "He such an underdog he shouldn't be playing at all by rights." "Should he?" "I mean look what he's done so far this season." "He's past it, no doubt about that." "I reckon he's got a pal   on the selection board alright." "Can I have another gin and tonic please?" "Isn't that funny." "We're right out of gin." "But that bottle up there's nearly full." "I said, we're right out of gin." "Why don't you try the Red Lion." "They serve anybody there." "Good morning." "Oh Mr Palmer, would you like me to get you some ginger beer or something." "No thank you." "These notices are wonderful aren't they." "Yes." "Do you see what they said about him when he won the Peabody Prize?" "Oh yes yes, I did." "The ..." "The grand young man of English poetry." "Yes." "That was quite a long while ago." "I say, aren't you ever scared of being his secretary?" " Scared?" " I know I would be." "I'd be scared to even talk to him at all, in case I was   interrupting some inspiration of his." "You've read a new terror in my job." "I can assure you, it has   quite enough terror already." " Do you keep a dog?" " Yes." "Oh, just a minute." "Hello?" "Oh, good morning Mr Ponsonby." "I expect you're ringing up about the poem he's working on." "What?" "When did you tell him this?" "Are you sure, Mr Ponsonby?" "Because he told me this morning that   he had to finish it before he left for America." "I see." "And you're quite sure you don't need it until the Christmas edition." "I see." "It's just that you wanted him to lunch tomorrow, is it?" "Oh well, I happen to know he can't." "He has a date already." "Yes." "Yes." "Thank you so much Mr Ponsonby." "Goodbye." " Can you hear voices?" " Well, I thought I did a moment ago." "I can hear them now." "What on earth can the brute be up to?" "... and that one went past gully's left hand." " Shut the door." " ... and Porrit chasing it out there   at third man." "I don't think he's going to save the second." " No he won't save it." " Alex, really." "Oh I'm just testing out my television set to see that   it's still working properly." "Do go away, dear ..." "I've got my poem to write for the New Statesman." "You know perfectly well you haven't got to finish your poem." "Mr Ponsonby just rung up and let the cat clean out of the bag." " Go away." " This is Mr Palmer." "He's been waiting a long time to see you." "How do you do." "Very nice meeting you." " How is Bathingstoke?" " Well ..." "I don't know." "I've never been there." "How extraordinary." "I quite thought you came from Bathingstoke." "Who do we know then who comes from Bathingstoke?" "A quite a different boy called Arkwright." "This is Mr Palmer." "He comes from London." "Oh really." "How fascinating." "Well now what can we do for you, Mr Palmer?" " My poem." " Your poem?" " Yes." " Oh yes, your poem." "Oh, of course yes." "Yes, I've got it." "No I haven't." "Oh well, I must have filed it." "Miss Fanshawe, fetch me Mr Arkwright's poem from the file." "Where exactly would the file be in which you put Mr Palmer's poem?" "The poetry file, dear." "It's always kept in the study." "Dreadful old muddler." " Have a cigarette." " No thank you." "No no, of course not." "Well now, I read your poem." "I liked it very much." "I thought it more effective ..." "Oh thank you." "I thought it more effective of the near ..." " Is that a wicket?" " No a boundary." "Oh thank heaven." "Hitting about like that over the field   as if it wasn't a test match at all." "We're only two wickets down, you know but we can still lose this match." " Two wickets?" "Dad's not been in then." " No." "Now..." "What did you say?" " I didn't say anything, Mr Whitehead." " Yes you did." "I heard you distinctly." "You said Dad." "Palmer?" "!" "You're Sam Palmer's son?" "Dear fellow." "Oh my dear fellow." "Do sit down please." "What must you think of me keeping you waiting like that." "It's all that idiotic Fanshawe's fault." "Fanshawe." "Fanshawe!" "What on earth do you mean by not telling me who Mr Palmer was?" " But I did." " You did nothing of the kind, dear." "You never said he was Sam Palmer's son." "Here we have Mr Palmer coming all the way down from London ..." "Why have you come down from London?" "What on earth   are you doing here with your father going in ..." " ... to bat any moment at the Oval." " I thought ..." "I thought it was more important to see you Mr Whitehead." "More important to see me?" "Are you out of your senses?" "Couldn't your father get you a ticket?" "Oh yes, I've got a ticket alright." "You don't mean to say you're going to waste it." "Do you realise ..." "Do you realise that I applied over 6 months ago for a ticket   and if it hadn't been for that idiotic Fanshawe bungling   the whole thing, I should be at the Oval now." "You wouldn't see me for dust." "I didn't bungle it." "You were unlucky in the draw." "That's all." "Well it's a very funny thing that Christopher Fry got his ticket" "That's all I can say." "Very funny indeed." "My dear young fellow, you mustn't waste another moment." "You must rush back to London at once, and pray you'll be in time   to see your father bat." "You couldn't give me a ticket, I suppose." "Well, I have got a letter to get me into the pavilion." "I know." "I'll use that and you can have my seat." " Wonderful." "Come along." " Alex, for heaven's sake." " Alex your letters." " Don't talk to me about letters, dear." "I've got a ticket to the Oval." "Pull that stick will you." "You'll kill yourself." "Remember it's only a game." "Philistine!" "Fool!" "Really, the way some people drive." " So you want to be a poet, do you." " Yes Mr Whitehead." " More than anything else." " Very commendable." "Far too little poetry in the world." "Tell me Mr Whitehead." "Do you prefer Keats to Wordsworth?" "My dear boy, you mustn't expect me to talk about literature   when there's a test match on." "My brain doesn't function properly." "Ask me if I prefer your father to Don Bradman." "I'll give you the answer." "I've got something to confess to you Mr Whitehead." "I'm afraid I don't awfully like cricket." "Don't you really?" "I have heard of such people." "Excuse me, Mr Whitehead, but isn't this a built up area?" "I should think so." "Why don't you like cricket?" "Well the fact of the matter is I find it so frightfully dull." "Frightfully dull?" "Well of course it's frightfully dull." "That's the whole point." "Any game can be exciting - ... football, dirt track racing, roulette." "The measure of the vast superiority of cricket over any other game   is that it simply refuses to cater to this   boorish craving for excitement." "To go to cricket to be enthralled   is as stupid as to go to a Chekhov play in search of melodrama." " Oy!" " Did that policeman shout something." "I think he was holding up the traffic Mr Whitehead." "Oh how frightfully kind of him." " What was I talking about?" " Um Chekhov." "Oh yes." "Chekhov and cricket." "Great similarity you know." "Same sense of shapeless pattern, form, design." "He's down to that superbly satisfied art which conceals art." "Having the same passion for a beautifully inconclusive ..." "Your father would know what I was talking about." " Great artist your father." " Do you really think   he's that Mr Whitehead?" " My dear boy, there are   two innings of his that I shall remember to my dying day." "One was when Surrey needed runs fast." "He made 103 in just under an hour   without a single vulgar or bucolic stroke." "The other was an occasion at Lords in a test match ..." "Get out of the way!" "When in the two hours between   lunch and tea, he made with consummate elegance exactly   6 runs and broke the Australians' hearts." "Oh a great man." "Man to be remembered." "We must be through the limit now, mustn't we." " Well, I think that's ..." " Good we can open it up a bit." "Oh good shot, sir." "Good shot." " Row 'O'?" "Row 'O'." " I beg ..." " What the heck!" " Here!" "That seat's taken." " It is indeed madam, by me." "You can't come barging in taking any vacant place you see." " You ought to know better." " Shh." "I will not hush and I'd still like to know   what you're doing in someone else's seat." "It's a very long story, Madam, and though I should tell it   to you quite beautifully this is not ..." "Ahhh!" "Fool!" "Get back!" "Get back!" "Don't get upset about it." "Well, they must come in now." "They can't make him   face that last over." "Why don't those beastly umpires call the luncheon interval?" "Well, if that's what you're all want to, why don't you shout   at the beastly umpires." "Shout at the umpires?" "!" "An interesting idea." "I must try it some time." "Too late now." "Let's hope they send in somebody else." " Good luck, Sam." " Thanks Jim." "Best of luck, Sam." "Good luck, Sam and don't worry it's a nice easy paced wicket." "Thanks Denis." "Oh it's him I'm afraid." "Excuse me." "Now here comes Sam Palmer to face these anxious last 4 balls before lunch." "Looking as trim and as competent as he did when he first came   to test cricket 25 years ago." "A bit thicker perhaps, but   just as reliable and reassuring looking." "Looks around the field." "Plots the fieldsmen in that   experienced cricket brain of his." "And here's his first bowl from Lindwall on the Pavilion end." " Catch!" " Not out." "He's hit him on the pad and an appeal for LBW." "Not out." "But it was a very close thing." "It was a very confident appeal." "Nevertheless, he gives another tug at that cap of his   pulling it further down over his right ear as if it needed it." "And settles down to this next ball from Lindwall." "... who comes in bowls to him on a length from the leg stump." "He pushes it safely down there to forward short leg." "Just two balls to go." "Here's the first of them." "Lindwall from the Pavilion end bowls to him and   he shoulders arms and lets it go through outside the off-stump." "And now the last ball before lunch." "Catch!" "He's out." "Sam's out." "Poor Sam Palmer." "LBW Lindwall nought." "You can feel the   disappointment for him all the way around the ground." "That then is England 316 for 4 and we return you to ..." "But wait!" "Wait." "Just a moment." "Look at this." "The entire Australian side is lined up in a corridor   down from the wicket and they're cheering Palmer   as he walks back to the pavilion." "And all the way around the ground   people are standing up cheering." "Hutton stands back to let him go up the pavilion steps first." "Good old Sam." "Good old Sam." "Get up, madam." "But he didn't score." "I've never seen a crowd swarm over the ground like this   before the end of the match." "If he'd made 300 runs, they couldn't have given him a grander reception." "And now, although he's gone into the pavilion   the applause is still going on as fiercely as ever." " I don't think any of us here are ..." " Rum and orange Cora, please." "... ever going to forget the last couple of minutes." " Beg your pardon, dear." "You said rum and orange." " Yes please." " Bad luck, Sam." " Oh well." "You should have done that, you know skipper, standing back like that." "It's you they wanted to see." "Is that the way it sounds to you out there, Sam?" " Someone to see you, Sam." " Right." "I don't believe you were out, Dad." "It didn't look out to me." "I was out alright." "Syd doesn't make mistakes." "Now skipper, this is my Reggie." " Delighted to meet you." " How do you do, sir." " Looks like a cricketer, Sam." " I know." "Pity." " Why 'pity'?" " Well, he's going to be a poet   and he ought to look like a poet." "Deceptive appearance, eh?" "Come back 5 minutes before   start of play, and we'll have a little chat about th'old man." " What about th'old man?" " Never you mind." "Dad." "I've got to ask someone to dinner." "Well, your aunt won't like that." "It won't give her time   to do her shopping." "Who?" "Alexander Whitehead." " You don't mean it." " Yes." " He isn't coming." " Yes, he is." "What?" "You mean he liked your poem so much?" "Oh he hasn't even read my poem." "At least, I don't think he has." "He wants to meet you." "He must be crackers." "Oh and here's your pound back." "I didn't need to use it after all." "I beheld today an astonishing spectacle." "It was no less than the personal Dunkirk of an ageing cricketer." "But, a crowd of many thousands with the wildest enthusiasm   hailed it as his greatest triumph, no less." " Oh dear, they're the wrong colour." " Well, it's the best I could get, Auntie." "Well, it will have to do, I suppose." "Really Reggie   I do wish we could have had a bit more warning." "Well, he won't mind." "He's very bohemian." "Bohemian?" "Ha!" "That means caviar and champagne." "Auntie, Mr Hutton told me today that Dad had given up that   coaching job because of me." "Is that true?" "Well, he did say something about it being a bit awkward   with you going to Oxford and everything." "I see." "Well, you've got to get him to take that job, Auntie." "And how, I should like to know." "You know what it's like getting your Dad to do anything." "Mules aren't in it." "But you and I can manage it together." "A conspiracy, Auntie." "Probably end like that little conspiracy of ours last night, eh?" " Do help me, Auntie." "Will you?" " Alright." "It's very important to me, you know." "It's important to my amour propre." "And what's that when it's at home?" "Do me up, Ethel, will you?" "Blasted things." "Alright dear, don't get over excited." "You'll choke yourself." "Of all the evenings to invite a ruddy poet to supper." "Well, that's what I've been telling him." "Now look, Reg, if I get a bit stammery, and get myself   into a sentence, and don't know how the blazes to get out of it   and that's very likely mind you, you chip in quickly, you understand." "Rescue work is what I want from you tonight." "And anyway, I expect you to do 90 percent of the talking." "You and Ethel." "Oh Lord, here we go." "I haven't done this blooming tie yet." "Well, I never." "If it isn't you again." "What are you doing?" "Are you following me about?" "No no." "This is Balmoral isn't it?" "Of course, it's Balmoral." "Now you be off or I'll call the police." " But I've been invited." " Oh." "Oh it isn't." "It couldn't be." "Mr Whitehead." "Oh do come in please." "How dreadful." "What ever must you think of me." "I'd no idea." "Oh, you're dressed." "Will the great man be dressed too?" " You mean my brother?" " Hello, Mr Whitehead." "You wretched boy." "Why didn't you warn me?" "Look what I'm wearing." "Oh please, Mr Whitehead." "Don't you worry one bit." "My brother and I often slip into something decent for dinner." "It makes us feel more relaxed." "You know." "Now would you just excuse me while I nip into the kitchen   because it's our maid's night out, see?" "Now Reggie, look after Mr Whitehead, dear." " Come in here, Mr Whitehead." " Shhh." "Hold still." " Can I get you a glass of sherry or something?" " No thank you." " A cigarette, Mr Whitehead?" " No thank you." "Reggie, it's quite on the cards that I'm going to make   an embarrassing spectacle of myself tonight." "I'm absolutely paralysed with nerves." "I once met Jack Hobbs, you know   and for 10 minutes, I could do nothing but make incoherent clicking noises   which luckily he took to be my observations on the weather." "If anything like that should happen tonight, I want you to help me out." "Oh." "This is my father." "Dad, Mr Alexander Whitehead." "How do you do." "Bad luck it raining this afternoon, wasn't it." "Yes, very bad luck." "Of course, there wouldn't have been a finish to the game anyway, would there." "I suppose not." "Pardon me, Mr Whitehead." "Reg would you come and help me, dear." "Alright, Auntie." "Excuse me." "We saw a play of yours, last night on television." "Did you?" " Yes, quite remarkable I thought." " Did you indeed?" "Quite remarkable." " I saw you bat this morning." " Did you?" " Bad luck, your getting out like that." " Oh, I don't know." "Tell me, Mr Palmer." "Did the ball go with his arm?" "Well, Mr Whitehead, quite frankly that's the sort of thing   we say in the pavilion, afterwards." "Between you and me   it didn't do a blooming thing." "It was straight and I missed it." "That's all." "Oh, that's wonderful." "That's exactly what I thought you'd say." "You see, I think I ought to tell you, Mr Palmer." "You've been a hero of mine   ever since I was at school." " Really?" " Yes." "And this morning, when you were out like that and the   crowd stood for you, well I blubbed just as if ..." " ..." "I was at school again." " Well, I never." "At the same time, I don't mind telling you, I envied you a bit." " Envied me?" " Your choice of profession." "You see, others aren't quite so rewarding." "Well, take my own for instance." "I mean, when the time comes for me to retire and I write my last play   if I'm bowled for a duck on the first night, I don't quite see   the audience standing and cheering me for five minutes." "Yes, but your profession ..." "well, I mean it is a profession." "After all, what you do lasts." "What I do ... what I have done rather ..." "Well, there's nothing to show." "Nothing to show?" "!" "But you're out of your mind." "I beg your pardon, Mr Palmer" "It's just that I always get so excited about this." "You see it's the old argument of the non-creative artist being forgotten   while the creative artist lives on." "Well, am I a, what was it, a non-creative artist?" "Of course you are, but now tell me Mr Palmer, do you think Paganini is forgotten?" "Is Pavlova?" "Is Nijinsky?" "Is Garrick?" "Of course, they're not." "The non-creative artist has it over the creative artist all the time." "Because what he's done or has done must go on getting better and better   as the year's go by, until a legend of greatness is built up   which goes far beyond the actual truth." "Do you think Paganini was as good as all that?" "Of course he wasn't." "It's just that his legend has grown up with the years , ... just as your legend will grow up until in 50 years time , ... you'll be enthroned on Olympus between Don Bradman and "W G"" "There won't be any legend about me Mr Palmer." "Because I've left   record behind for posterity to read and probably sneer at." "They can't sneer at you, Mr Palmer." "That's why I envy you so deeply." "Well, I can't say that I've understood everything you've said, Mr Whitehead   and one or two of those names you've mentioned just now   I have to confess I wasn't too sure of myself." "Still, coming from a man like you that's quite a comfort." "Quite a comfort." "Because I don't mind telling you, I've been worrying a bit lately." " Damn collar's too tight." " Take it off." "I think I will." "Mr Palmer, I want to ask you something really important." "Do you hold your hand further over for the hook?" "Oh no." "Never move your hands for any stroke." "Now look, I'll show you." "Now this is my grip." "I suppose it isn't what you call classical   but still it works." "Now for the hook, I put my foot across ..." " ... and hit into it." "Like that." " I wonder if I might try that while ..." " ... it's still fresh in my mind." " Yes do." "Now then, get the grip right." "That's right." "Thumb over." "That's right." "Now foot across and ..." "That's not bad." "Now try again." "Thumb over." "Get that grip right." "That's right." "Now put ..." "Now hit right into it." " I'm frightfully sorry." " Oh, that's alright never mind ..." "I always hated it." "Now, I don't think you got that quite right." " Just let me show you that again." " Dinner's quite ready." "Oh." "My best Chinese vase." "Sam Palmer, how could you." " I'm afraid I did it." " Oh." "Oh well, Mr Whitehead, it doesn't matter a bit really." " Where's your collar?" " I took it off." "It's more comfortable." "Well, shall we go in?" "I still don't see how you get any force into the stroke without changing the grip." " Well it's all a question of timing." " Excuse me." " You mean like this." " Oh that's alright Mr Whitehead." "Now watch my hand." " Oh hello Cora dear." " Could I see Sam a moment please, Miss Palmer." "We're having a guest to dinner, and we've got rather an important guest." " I only want a word, just one word." " Alright dear, I'll tell him." "Sam, it's Cora." "Can you see her for a minute, dear." " Hello Cora." " I don't want to interrupt you, Sam." "I just wanted to ask if you were coming to the Stag as usual tonight." " No I'm sorry we've got a guest." " Well, tomorrow then?" "I don't know Cora." "Not sure that I like the idea of standing at a bar ..." " ... gooping away when I'm not wanted." " Who says you're not wanted?" " You did, last night." " I didn't." "I said that's all you ever did." "That's all." "I never said I didn't want you to do it." " Oh." " Well, that's all I have to say, except   I was sorry about your innings, Sam." "I don't mind telling you, when you got out   I was that cut up, I cried." "Seems to be a lot of crying around here this morning." "Ruddy Niagara all over the country." "The chap on the wireless said it was the same as if you'd made 300." "Well, I want you to know Sam, that's the way I felt about it." "Only, you didn't need 300, only 240." "You remember." "You said you'd double 120." "Cora, what you said about me last night, that's alright." "It's what you said about yourself that's been worrying me." " What was that?" " Well, you said ..." "Well, you implied ... well, perhaps you mightn't always have been all you should have been." "You don't know an awful lot about things do you, Sam." "Well, I promise you that in that respect I'm no better and no worse than 99 percent ..." " ... of the rest of the whole human race." " Don't quibble, Cora." "Would you like to swear to me this very minute that there's never been anybody else." "Well, I don't know if you've got the right, Sam." "Go on." "Yes or no." "Which is it?" "No." " Swear?" " Swear." "Oh, my dear." "Mr Palmer, I've got it." "I really believe I've got it." "It's Cora, isn't it?" "How are you, Cora my love?" "I'm very well thank you, Mr Whitehead dear." "Are you staying for dinner." "I do hope so." "So my cup of bliss will be full." "No." "I'm afraid not, Mr Whitehead." "I have to get back to the Stag." "Oh what a shame." "Now look Mr Palmer ..." " ... if I hold my hand like this ..." " Do you mind going back in the   dining room, Mr Whitehead." "My sister will be getting a bit fussed." "I'm just coming in and I'll show you in a minute." " You know Mr Whitehead?" " Yes, he used to come into the   Green Man in Chelsea quite a bit." " How well do you know him?" " Sam Palmer!" "Aren't you two going to come, because ..." "because there's ... the soup." "Oh Reggie." "Well there it is, Reg, for better or for worse." "What do you think?" "For better." "Good night, Sam." "I'll see you at closing time to help you with the washing up." " Well, it's been quite a day, hasn't it." " It certainly has." "Dad, I'm awfully sorry about the things I said this morning." "That's alright." "Can't help the things we feel, can we." "Yes Dad, but you know I'm not so sure I do feel them any more." "You know, it's a funny thing Reg, when Syd Thompson lifted his finger this morning ..." "I thought to myself, 'This is it, Sam Palmer." "This is the finish.'" "Well, you know, I'm just wondering if it wasn't really the beginning." " Oh, I am most awfully sorry." " Oh, it doesn't matter" "Subtitles by DHM"