"♪ Bom-bom, bom-ba-dum ♪" "♪ Ma-ma-ma-bom-ba-dum Ba-da-dum ♪" "Amber think it time to review hunters' recent job performance." " [Munk groans] - [all groan]" "Oh!" "Amber think Munk sum it up nicely." "Amber, I know we've been getting our butts kicked and clawed and bit..." "Ow... but I think I came up with a way to change that." "I call it "hurry up and throw faster"!" "Amber stop you there, Grug." "Hunters no need to hunt harder." "Hunters need to hunt smarter." "And Amber know how." "It called "the math."" " [all] Huh?" " Great!" " What is this math and how do we throw it?" " Amber show you." " [gasps] - [screeching]" "Quick!" "How many rocks it take to bonk out molar bear?" " Four." " Yes." "Now, watch." "Amber throw two rocks and Munk throw two rocks." "But that's only two rocks." "That's not enough bonkage." "That where the math come in." "Throw!" "See?" "Two and two is four." "But-but that can't be right." "Four is four." "That's why it's called "four."" "Huh!" "We faced a molar bear and I'm not hurt." "Oh, am I dead?" "No." "That the math." "It make hunting safer." "So, until hunters learn the math, hunters no hunt!" "[grunts]" "Amber hire Squawk to teach you." "He stamp handprint on this slab once you learn the math." "Sure." "Whatever." "I can learn math." ""The math"!" "Just "math" sound silly." "[Eep] Dad!" "You're home early. [gasps] Wait." "Did someone get eaten again?" "[gasps] Oh, no!" "They all got eaten, didn't they?" "And only you survived!" "How will you live with the guilt?" "No, son." "Wow, you really ran with that." "No, Amber just sent us away to learn a new skill: the math." "Squawk's been teaching us that, too, to add up all the food we give him." " Turns out, we give him a lot of food." " I'm sure I'll master the math, just like I mastered the round-the-back bonk attack and the 'tween-the-legs knock-'em-deads." " [chuckles] - [Sandy moans, giggles] [yelping] [continues yelping] [chuckles]" "Uh, but, Dad, the math isn't a hunting rock skill." "It's an "up here" skill." "It's pretty hard." "Not for me." "[grunts]" " See?" "I got "up here" skills." "Ow." " [Thunk] Yeah." "And when you add this new math skill to your other two hunting skills, that'll be..." " Ten skills!" " [Eep and Thunk] Three skills." "Right, three." "I meant to say three." "Sure you did, Dad." "Sure you did." "Wow!" "This math ain't so bad after all." "Thanks, Teacher Squawk." "If he can learn it after all the times his head's been bitten, this should be a breeze." " Start mathing at me." " We'll start with basic adding." "That's when you take two numbers and put them together." "So, what's three plus four?" "Oh." "This is the math." "The math has started." "Okay." "Let me see, um..." "Here's a hint." "Give your answer in the form of a number." "Number." "Right." "I have totally heard of those." "Uh..." "[Thunk] Turns out, we give him a lot of food." "Oh, of course!" "Three-four." "Handprint, please." "No." "Try again." "Forty-three?" "Threety-four?" "Free-thor?" "Four... three?" "Number..." "Handprint, please." "No!" "Most of what you just said was nonsense." "Maybe you just need to see the math." "Suppose Splarg holds three eggs and Splorg holds four." "Splarg and Splorg?" "Who are they, and why are they hogging all the food?" " Uh, they're not real people." " Wh..." "What?" " How can not-real people hold eggs?" " The eggs also aren't real." "Then what are we even talking about?" "[laughing]" "Handprint, please." "[growls]" "Okay, you have three smashfruit." "I do?" "Great!" "I take away one." "Now, how many do you have?" " Three." " No, no, count them." "One, two..." " [groans]" " Three!" "No!" "[grunts] Teaching you makes me miss teaching children." "[groans]" "Look, Squawk, let's level with each other." "Neither of us wants to be here, so..." " Huh?" "Huh?" "Huh?" " [growls]" "You got every question wrong." "You need to give me something." "Can that something be food?" "[gasps] Are you trying to bribe me?" "Thank goodness!" "I thought we'd be here all day." "Amber's giving me one carcass per hunter, so..." "I'll give you nine animal carcasses, not a carcass more." "Hmm..." "Tell you what, I'll do it for just three piles of six carcasses each." "[laughs] Deal!" "No take-backs!" "Wow, you really don't get the math." "Huh, Amber impressed." "Everyone learned the math, even Munk, who has brain like tiny bug." "[buzzing] [chuckles] Believe me, I am just as surprised as you." "[buzzing]" "The math is so easy." "I can totally math any number now." "Great!" "Then how about you and Munk go bonk bear owl?" "[growling]" " You got it." " And bonk I will. [chuckles]" "Yeah." "Okay, Grug, these take six rocks to bonk." "I'll do three." "Got you, buddy." "Then I'll do..." "Let me see..." "Six and three." "So, I need threety-six." "No, wait, that was when Splarg had those eggs." "Um... [growls] [screams]" "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Think." "I had three smash fruits and Squawk took one, so I need to throw one rock." "Bingo!" " [groaning] - [screams] [groaning]" " [groans] - [chuckles]" "Oops." "Guess I forgot to carry the Splorg." "That is a math thing, right?" "Yep." "Oh, and a heads-up:" "I might bleed out." "Amber tell Grug, Grug no learn the math, Grug no hunt." "But... but I'm a hunter." "[growls]" "Until Grug learn the math, Grug not hunter!" "[growling]" "Fine!" "Forget hunting." "I'll get a different job, a better job where I'll never have to math ever again!" "Great!" "I mean, too late for me, but great for you. [groans]" "Gathering moves a lot slower than hunting, Grug." "If anything, you might be over-qualified. [laughs]" "Yeah, that's going to be true, but I'm just glad to work where things make sense again." "Excuse me." "I need two spike apples for each of my four family members." "[screams]" "Four family members, two spike apples each." "Hey!" "Wait, this sounds like the math." "Five spike apples for me, plus three for my brother." "Wait." "Add two for me and subtract one for my brother." "And I'll take double that, plus six more." "Yeah, that was the clearest way to say that." "[whimpering]" " I need six..." " Take away three... [voices overlapping]" "Add seven, add seven, add seven, add seven, add seven, add seven..." "Grug, if a hunter has five-seven-twenty rocks and there are thirty-six-nine-ten bear owls, how many... [whimpering] [whimpering] No math!" "No math!" "Well, the service in this garden has really gone downhill." "And how." "No!" "[Grug whimpering]" "The math is everywhere." "Everywhere!" "All I see are numbers." "Three, four..." " [screams] Eleven." " [squawking]" "I was wrong." "I need to learn the math, and I need you to teach me." "I see." "Well, then, I have only one question." "Who are you again?" "Grug!" "Please, I need your help or I'll never hunt again!" "[crying]" "Okay, stop, before I'm caught making another student cry." "[continues crying] [sighs] Didn't you ever learn things to become a hunter?" "Yeah, but it's different when a predator's charging at you." " You have no choice but to learn." " Oh, really?" "[screams] [body thuds]" "Hey!" "What's the big idea here?" "[screeching]" "Oh, that's the big idea." "[Squawk] I'll throw down rocks to you." "Just use the math to tell me exactly how many you need, or die." "This is insane!" "No, this is teaching." "More math, less whining, please." "To bonk two molar bears, you need how many rocks?" "Hmm?" "[screams] [body thuds]" " [screeching continues] - [screams]" "Bonk them!" "I can't." "It takes four rocks just to bonk one molar bear, and I only have two rocks." "[screeching]" "[Grug thinking] So, I guess I die now." "Time to make these the best throws of my life, like double the power, or even triple the power, or...[gasps]" "Wait." "I can throw one rock with the power of four rocks!" "Ha!" "[grunting] [screeching, screaming]" "Whoa." "Grug, you're a genius." "By giving one rock the strength of many rocks, you've stumbled onto a whole new math." "It's many-plication!" "No, it's something way better than that." "It's brute force!" "[all grunting] [bellowing]" "Amber must ask..." "how Grug get so smart?" "Well, Amber, all it took was working extra hard to learn that the math is totally useless." "Actually, you're using the math right now." "[all chanting] Brute force, brute force, brute force..." "What you call brute force is a higher form of math that I'm calling "physics."" "[screams, groans] [chanting continues] Brute force, brute force, brute force!" "[music playing] [all grunting]" "Whoo-hoo!" "This was a great idea, Lerk!" "Hey, pump up the volume to eleven!" "[insects chirping]" "Nine, ten, eleven!" "Okay, that is enough!" "Go shake your stuff somewhere else." "[insects buzzing] [music playing]" "Take that ear-bleeding filth somewhere else!" "I can't hear myself think, and my thoughts are really interesting!" "[all groan]" "Oh... much better." " [crowd cheering] - [Snoot laughing]" "Me!" "Oh, yes." "That's a brilliant thought." "[music playing] [insects chirping] [laughs] Grown-ups don't get it!" "How can they think this is too loud?" "Yes!" "Or no!" "I have no idea what you're saying!" "Hey, Eep, check out my new dance, "the Running Prey"!" "Ooh!" "[grunting] Ooh!" "Or my new move, "the Pop and Rock"!" "Ooh!" "I got one, too! "The Rockslide"!" "[grunting to music] [continues grunting]" "[all scream]" " Our music!" " Our Womp!" "I thought he'd live 30, maybe, I don't know, 40 more days?" "[grunting]" "I'm highly squishable." "Whew!" "That was close." "But we're safe, as long as nobody tells our..." "Whoa, whoa!" "Hey!" "Did I just hear a rockslide?" "Uh, no." "That was just our music." "[scoffs] I wish your awful music sounded half as soothing as a rockslide." "Come on, is everybody okay?" "What happened?" "Well, first, we were doing this." "[grunting]" "And a couple of these." "[grunting]" "And then we were, like, "Oh, no, we're going to die!"" "[screams] So, dancing caused this rockslide." "No!" "Well, yes, but only 'cause we were dancing here." "You wouldn't let us dance anywhere else." "Because dancing is trouble." "The only reason to ever throw your hands in the air is to keep bugs away from your hair." "What we need to do is ban dancing." "[all gasp]" "I hate saying this... like, it pains my chest to say these three small words, but..." "Snoot is right." "That was very satisfying." "Dancing is just too dangerous." "Just look what it did to this poor boy." "Oh. [chuckles] That's how Womp always looks." "He's always been that squat?" "But Squat Boy almost died." "Womp almost dies a lot." "Don't blame dancing." "It's not dangerous." "It's fun!" "And fun was invented by people who die young, so, no, that doesn't change my mind." "Dancing is banned and that is final." "[groans]" "Eep, this is about safety." "We're not banning it to be mean." "[growls] [groans] Now that I've been told I can't dance, it's all I want to do." "[groans] If we don't find a place to dance soon," "I'm going to crawl into a hole and die." "Wait." "That's a great idea." "Somewhere no adults will look for us." "Right under their feet!" "Ta-da!" " Awesome!" " Cool!" "We'll make it our secret underground dance club." "Lerk, give me some club-opening music." "[insects chirping] [music playing] [record scratching]" "[whimpering] [screams] [all cheering]" "Can I get a "Womp Wah"?" "[all] Womp Wah!" "[all cheering]" "You did it, buddy!" "You beat the ban!" "[indifferently] And look how happy you made me." "And I can peel away the mask I show the world and reveal the real, beautiful me underneath!" "[giggling]" "[sighs] Dancing feels even better when you know it's banned." "[grunting] Check out my new move," ""the Molar Bear"!" "[growling] [all cheer]" "[snoring] [growls]" "Huh." "No awful music, no screams of danger, no anything." "[takes deep breath] This peace and quiet is just lovely." "We should ban more problems." "What if we ban smelly people?" "You know what the best part of this is?" "For once, Eep is obeying me without question." "My boys are obeying me, too." "Though it's less impressive since they're not animals, like your children." "[chuckles] Normally, I'd want to punch you for saying something like that, but, see, we're even getting along." "[both laugh]" " [laughing uneasily] - [sighs]" "Something is wrong here, isn't it?" "Oh, yeah." "Horribly wrong." "Our kids are definitely up to something." "But how will we know what they're doing?" "It's not like we can just talk to our children." "No." "To catch teens, we must become teens." "Hey, cool guy." "Wait up." " Uh, who are you?" " Two of your fellow youths." "We're new to the valley." "I'm Snoo... itch." "Snitch. [chuckles]" "And my name's Narc." "You do anything fun and risky around here, like, I don't know... dance?" "Hmm?" "No, dancing is dangerous." " We totally dance, but in secret." " Oh, yeah?" "Cool." "Hey, why don't you show us guys this secret dance place... bro?" "How do I know you're cool?" "Uh, how do we know you're cool?" "Yes, he seems decidedly un- "with it." Don't you agree?" "Uh..." "Wait!" "Wait, I'm cool." "I'm cool!" "I'll show you where the dance party is, Narc." "[music playing underground] [moans]" "Hey, Sandy, can you help Daddy shut down the dance party?" "Huh?" "Can you?" "[moans excitedly] [moans] [music playing]" "Dancing!" "Look at all this danger." "Loose rocks, possible cave-in, terrible music." " Who is behind all this?" " [all] Go, Eep!" "[all chanting] Go, Eep!" "Go, go, go, Eep!" "See?" "You are the worst parent." "[insects buzzing]" "By the authority of being a parent, this underground dance party is shut down." "Go home, or, well, you can't stay here." "And wherever you do go, no dancing." "Dad, you can't take away our dance!" "That's right, move along." "Also, Eep, you're grounded." "And, Thunk, where are you?" "You're grounded, too." "You'll only make me want to dance more!" "Bulk and Sulk, you'd better believe you're grounded." "Lerk, say it with me." "You are..." "Grounded?" "Correct!" "And, Pat, grounded." "Squat kid, grounded." "Kevin, you let us in so you're cool." "[all growl] [chuckles nervously]" "This way, people!" " [screeching]" " Or maybe a different way." "[all scream]" "See, Eep?" "Look what your dancing has caused now." "What?" "This happened because you're yelling at us not to dance!" "How could you possibly know that?" "[screeching]" "Point taken." "[screams] [screaming]" "[gasps]" "Dance can save my dad." "Everyone, quick!" "Do the Rockslide!" "[music playing]" "This is no time to shake your booty!" "Come on!" "I..." "I can't dance." "Oh, sure you can." "[yelps, groans] [screeching continues] [screams]" " We did it!" " [all cheering]" "Ow." "Quick!" "Dance after me!" "[all gasp]" "[rumbling] [all coughing]" "Okay, looking back, maybe it wasn't a great idea to dance inside an underground death trap." "True, but you wouldn't have felt the need to do that if I hadn't banned dancing in the first place." "Shaking your butts actually saved our butts down there." "So, dancing is unbanned?" "[Snoot] Of course it's unbanned!" "[humming]" "Ew." "Why was I ever against this?" "Now, that should be banned." "[vocalizing dance music]"