"Watch out for the cars Julius" "Hey, Julius, come on you want to go or don't you?" "come on I saw you smiling when we told you we... come on, Julius, that's not heavy" "The signs says walk" "You walk, walk, Julius." "Ok, come on." "Times are changing, you know?" "Where else but in 1968 could you get to do something like this, man I mean that." "Sex experiment." "Not like tearing frogs apart not like you know putting things on the slides and then looking at the blue and green you know but like sex right in front of a camera like every second every minute every everything" "Hey Julius come on we've gonna get there" "There they gonna film us making love." "I feel horny." "The idea is this, and it's a beautiful idea." "To record the sex act it's also a first it's also a gift to mankind." "I wouldn't have expected to finding this place on this block You should have a sign out front at least" "This is serious stuff it is not No I mean it's not like smokers It's run by that doctor" " Freud?" " Some funny names, something funny" "I don't know. it's always been here." "So this is the room, huh." "I bet a lot of scenes have gone on in this room." "Yeah, this is it." "just make yourselves comfortable" "Julius sit down and take your coat off." "What sort of people have you filmed here?" " You've been here quite a while I guess." " oh yes, 12 years now." "We get all sorts." "Prostitutes, female and male homosexuals, heterosexuals, various combinations of each masturbators, necrophiliacs, almost every variety of sexual experience known to exist has taken place in this room." " Animals?" " Yes." "I once filmed 2 gibbon apes in a sexual act." "Hope you've got a lot of film We might wanna take a long time." "Julius tuck your stomach in." "Julius you'd better come over here, this is your brother speaking" "Julius, the've got a couple of monkeys here and they weren't afraid." " He is embarrassed." " Does he watch you when you make love?" "He sneaks around." "We catch him watching and then he pretends he wasn't Julius, come on over and watch" "I thought you accompany your brother so much that maybe this time you wouldn't come" "For some reason I thought that." " Hey listen I'd like to get him in the film too" " No problem" "Julius, you gonna be sorry if you don't do what the man says." " Well I'll read my poem now, all right?" " Sure." "Go ahead." "Rotting Ginsberg." "I stared in the mirror naked today" "I noticed the old skull, I'm getting balder" " my pate gleams in the kitchen light under thin hair - anything more about what you are feeling like the skull of some monk in old catacombs lighted by a guard with flashlight followed by a mob of tourists" " so there is death." " this is a Movies, Julius." " my kitten mews, and looks into the closet" " A little movie never hurt anybody, especially a love scene" " Antinous bust in brown photograph still gazing down from my wall - how can you be afraid of a love scene, Julius?" "If I dare know what you are feeling what you are thinking I'd be more than happy to listen." "a light burst from God's delicate hand sends down a wooden dove to the calm virgin" " Beato Angelico's universe the cat's gone mad" " He'll be curious and come over, he always does." "Have you ever seen yourself in a film, Julius, in a movie?" "Don't be afraid, Julius" "You can even come back some time and we will show you the film if you like." "Would you like that?" "You'll see your brother and his friend on the screen." "Then you'd see your face the way I see it now." "You'll see your eyes, your nose, your hair and your mouth." "Would you like that?" "Everyone likes that, it's perfectly normal." "Your brother must like it." "He's not afraid." "All you have to do is behave however you behave in real life." "You don't have to act." "Look, Julius, there is nothing immoral about that." "I want nothing immoral from anyone." "Julius, I'm perfectly willing to discuss something with you but an effort has to be made on your part." "I can't do it all by myself." "Can you tell me something, Julius?" "Anything at all might be of use." "Allright then, I'll just pretend that I know" "Do you want that, shall I just pretend?" "Can you tell me something, Julius?" "Anything at all, anything you want." "I'm perfectly willing to discuss something with you" "Hey, you!" "See this?" "Right." "That's all I wanna know." "That's real." "That's imaginary." "Yogin, Casey" " That's real" " Julius isn't replacable" " Why use an actor?" "to see the most intimate" "Julius bores me, the whole Orlovsky family bores me" " Nothing happens, there is no action." " I don't understand this scene at all." "What's it supposed to be?" " It's like he wants a blowjob." " He is much afraid of being touched by someone?" " I don't understand what you try to do" " Are you afraid of love?" "The best actor in the world couldn't replace Julius." "Come on use me" "What you need is a rock an roll band." "There is nothing much I can do about that." "It has to be very strong light." "You could understand that if you ever had anything to do with film." "This is a wonderful movie, it's great, I really like it." "Can you tell me something, Julius?" "Can you tell me something, Julius?" "This is a wonderful movie, it's great, I really like it." "All you have to do is tell me." "In Febrary 1966 Alen Ginsberg and Peter Orlovsky were on the poetry reading tour in Kanzas." "They took Julius along" " Say something, Julius" " Say something" " Say something" " Say something" " Quiet!" " Louder." " Louder." " Say something" "Julius says "Say something"" "A lot of you are not aware you see all of you with all your dozens and trillions of eyes and [unclear] are not aware that my brother has for last 13 years has been in a mental hospital" "and I' ve been trying to get him out for 10 years but the doctors are so stupid and oldfashioned that 10 years ago they said he has to have a nurse around for 24 hours a day we find that things are changed and now he is out and he's sitting before you." "His first name is Julius and he used to be a bodybuilder with a fantastic body." "And Robert Frank here is making a movie of him." "Because Robert says you know when Julius looks at the statue or a Picasso ass Julius takes a look and he walkes around the whole statue." "Thats is his little thing and he is very funny and very odd you see" "In mental hospital they give you Thorazine" "And if anyone here has ever had Thorazine and I've tried a sample of my brother's Thorazine it knocks you out it's worse than pot it's worse than marijuana becaus it disinfocals your eyes and it disinfocals your bowels" "You see?" "So he has a big bowel hang-up" "Sometimes he took [unclear] and [unclear] is this white powder stuff" "It looks a little like aspirin, mashed up and it's very interesting some time to take, once a month, once a two months once a year, once a lifetime, once, you know once a once" "Any day I would see him" "Half primed with a palsy hand dressed in gray state robes" "Almost morning I meet him he would say: come, Peter, take me to the subway, give me a nickle come, we go to my old barber shop in Brooklyn one day I said and led him down the hall" "Letting him believe I was going to take him to Brooklyn" "And there he is." "Allen Ginsberg." "A giant dormitory, brilliant on the evening plain drifts with his memories - there is a nice white door over there" "Shelling Bombing Range mapped in the distance," "Crime Prevention Show sponsored by Wrigley's Spearmint much delight in weeping, ecstasy in singing, laughter rises that confounds staring Idiot mayors and stony politicians eyeing Thy breast," "O Man of America, be born!" "Prajnaparmita Sutra over coffee –" "Vortex of telephone radio bank aircraft knightclub newspapers streets illuminated by Bright EMPTINESS—" "I don't want you I don't want all of ou to go home tonight and do this, you understand?" "I'm just trying to help you out." "and Allen says:" ""Keep going, Peete, don't break the rhytm"" "and then I would say:" ""he'll be comming soon"" "revolving my head to my breast like my mad mother chin abreast at Allah" "Truth breaks through" "How big is the preck of the president?" "How big is Cardinal of Vietnam?" "How little the prince of the FBI unmarried all these years" "How big are all the public figures" "What kind of hang flesh are they, hidden behind their images" "Hey, Julius." "Julius, come on tell me your name." "Julius." "Don't be afraid, Julius." "Don't be afraid." "kicks for you, just do it" "Robert, I've got a confe a cndo..." "what the fuck is that word... a confidential letter from Julius'es clinic." "It's a funny letter, I wanna read it to you" "A patient was born a 7 10th of 1931" "He became interested in art." "At 1950 Julius became psychotic while employed by a sanitation department of city of New York he was mastirbating while on duty." "He became exited, vilontly resistive and was transferred to Kings County Hospital on october 31, 1950." "On november 10 1950 he was admitted to Central Islip State Hospital." "He would see the electric shock treatment." "Diagnosis was schizophrenic—catatonic type." "Patient is totaly regressed." "He would see the electric shock treatment." "Diagnosis was schizophrenic—catatonic type." "On January 17, 65 Orlovsky was released from the hospital on care of his brother Peter." "Patient is totaly regressed." "Almost mute catatonic man who works and functions like an automaton and never shows any kind of emotional side." "He is completely self absorbed and harmless." "he has been causing close supervision interaction which is provided by his brother Peter" "Patient has been placed on Thorazine 200 milligram once a day" "Stellazine 5 mg twice a day and Conjantine 2 mg once a day." "This medication obviously was not given to the patient by his brother" "Last year he was taken on tour to the west coast by his brother." "and we've lost contact with a patient so, it's a pretty funny letter." "They've made a couple of mistakes in it." "Comes time to wake him up in the morning and so I figure well the best thing is to wake him up, you know" "he doesn't get out of his bad, so I wake him up" "So morning comes and noon comes and so I've gottn up out of bed and I see Julius is still sleeping so I wake him up and tell him to get up and he gets up but he doesn't go to wash his face or brush his teeth or go to bathroom" "or start to make breakfast." "He just gets up and stares at his mattress at his wrinckled sheets, you know." "And soon I've gotta tell him to put his clothes on, so he does that then he doesn't do anything else after that." "So then I tell him to wash his face, you know." "Come on Julius, come on, let's get going." "Let's do the things, you know, we've got to do throughout the day." "And so he does them one by one, but he has to be told each thing to do otherwise he just sort of a stands there and looks at his mattress, you know." "Sometimes I feel that may be let's see what he did may be he gets up on his own, maybe he'll go wash his face on his own, but if I don't say anything he just sleeps in bed all day." "And when Julius goes to bed at night, I give him a kiss kiss kissy-wissy, goodbye, good night" "And sometimes you know he gives me a big kiss back, and sometimes gives me a little kiss back like but he never says "Good night, Peter", he says "Good night"" "So I tell him it's not fair, he's gotta say "good night Peter" cause I say "Good night, Julius"" "How about - once more - in the car when we drove back?" "You were driving and talking to Julius." "What did you try to find out from him?" "What did you try, what did I try to find out from him?" "I tried to find out why the fuck did he walk away from me before." "[unclear - possibly "I told him months ago"]" "Why did he get lost?" "What did you think he did when he got lost?" "I will not take a motherfucker on a trip again." "He is unreliable!" "I'm not going to do anything for him any more." "And I'm supposed to sit here and worry about him all the time?" "fuck no!" "god damn it!" "I'm tired of worrying about that fucking creep." "And I'm tired of hearing from my father" "You don't handle..." "You!" "You!" "You've gotta take care of your brother, ok." "You don't care about him." "oh screw them all, man." "That's the way they think about me." "They can think anything they want." "And I'm tired of worrying about someone who doesn't want my help." "Screw him." "He doesn't even want to mop." "You know why he didn't come back?" "Because I told him to mop his room up" "He left the mop up in the tub there, he didn't even clean about and stuff like that" "That's why he hasn't come back - because I told him what to do." "I've told him: "You've gotta fix his room, clean it, dust you room up, you've gotta make it a little pretty"" "he doesn't want to do a fucking thing" "My name is John Coe, I play the psychiatist and Julius is one of my patients." "I think Julius has a new vision of today's world." "He expresses something we all feel but we keep it inside us." "To me he is like a saint full of poetry only he doesn't sit in the woods and mountains of long time ago." "It's difficult to be a saint here in our time." "Yes, it's difficult to be a saint here, in New-York." "Many of my patients are afraid to express themselves just as Julius is." "But I feel that he expresses more than any of them in his way." "Now I would like to begin, I would like to begin." "Did your brother bring you to my office?" "Are you going to talk to me today?" "Can you answer a sipmle question?" "Now I'm going to ask you a simple question." "Does the name John F. Kennedy mean anything to you?" "Does the name John F. Kennedy mean anything to you?" "Does the name John F. Kennedy mean anything to you?" "Are you reading David Copperfield?" "Are you reading David Copperfield?" "We want to discover if your trouble is subject to terapeutic help or if you require hospitalisation." "Where do you live?" "Four L E Eastern Street." "Do you live with your brother?" "What is your brother's name?" "Peter." "How long have you lived with your brother?" "How long?" "Julius, I want to help you express yourself." " What is your name?" " Julius." "What activities please you most?" "Do you sleep well?" "Do you still like to lift weights?" "Do you like to walk around the neighboorhood where you live?" "Do you remember what you were like when you were young?" "Do you walk by yourself the neighboorhood where you live?" "You used to live in Long Island?" "Do you remember your mother?" "Can you tell me where you go walking?" "Did you have breakfast this morning?" "Can you tell me what you had for breakfast this morning?" "Coffee." "Can you make it yourself?" "Who made your breakfast this morning?" "You ought to take your pills." "Two of each twice a day will make you feel less depressed." "If you don't take them, does Peter give them to you?" "Sometimes." "No, you've got to take them everyday." "You'd be more relaxed, less afraid." "Do some people frighten you?" "Do people sometimes frighten you?" "Do people sometimes frighten you?" "Do people sometimes frighten you?" "Do people sometimes frighten you?" "Do people sometimes frighten you?" " You're going on a trip, aren't you?" " Yes." "You're going on a trip, aren't you?" "Where are you going?" "Where are you going?" "Where are you going?" "3 miles visibility in LaGuardia." "It is begining to snow" "The weather permits a landing." "Okay at LaGuardia." "Thank you." "we'll be at an attitude of 21 000 feet and our speed of 550 miles per hour." "Would you now, please, fasten your seat-belts and do not smoke until the aircraft is airborn." "Thank you." "We're driving down to Cansas City." "At 8 p.m there will be a poetry reading, dirty words." "Julius, read it again louder." " I can't get Julius to do what I want." " Julius, read it again louder." "I want to use you to replace him." "It's very difficult working with him." "So, you play Julius." " And I'll give you your lines." " Scream it, scream it louder, Julius." "Read it louder." "46, number 2-2-4" "They are travelling though Kansas." "They are coming from one poetry reading and then going to another one." "Read it louder!" "I can't hear you, louder, Julius." "Louder, Julius." " Louder, Julius." " 0, 1, 7, comma, 7, 13, comma" "Who are they, are they brothers?" " Brothers, yes." " Louder!" "And you are meant to act them, act like them." "Him." " 35 kids on a wild burning bus" " Louder, Julius, come on." "Read it again." "Again." "Does he have a name?" "I told you." "Julius." "His name is Julius." " Yes." " You say louder." "What did he shout?" " He can't hear him" " Louder!" "There is no point crying if you're not loud enough." "suffered no fractures, went 1, 2, 3, 4 in the hospital..." " How old is he?" " in a hospital for observation" "How old is he?" "Over 30." "White, American." "Russian, may be jews." "Which one?" "Peter and Julius, both." " Brothers." " American brothers from Russia." "With Allen." "Allen Ginsberg." "Does he say anything?" "Yes, he said something." "He said " Say something"." "He has a deep voice but it's very faint." "How do you pick it up?" "With sensetive mike." "I could speak loud." "Just speak to where you are now." "Does he like being touched?" "Sometimes." "By me?" "By his brother." "I wont touch him then." "He wouldn't mind." "Do I get to meet him in the film?" "Sometimes." "Or else he might disappear." "He has, you know." " Now, do you think you can handle that part?" " You know" "I'd like to know some more." "I think you can do it." "I'll give you your lines." "Well, what do you want me to do?" "Look, what does he think of the room, of Kanzas?" "Does he hear the words that they speak?" "And who is the audience?" "Where are they from for instance?" "Why can't he get up?" "Can he get up?" "Keep on talking." "Ya, but" "I don't understand what it's about." " I don't know how..." " I can't see the top of your head." "I should be able to see your face." "All I can see is your hands." "Move your hands." "The lights bother his eyes, I can see that." "He squints at the audience." "He could just leave and walk into Kansas and let the street carry him along." "And they could look at me like I was born there." "I could look at them." "And they could mistake my face for his brother's and run up to kiss me." "I think that could easily happen in Kansas." "Take 2." "I walked through town looking like everyone's brother and they don't mind that I'm not." "They just let me walk." "I keep on walking." " And look straight ahead and lift up my eyes." " I like that siren." "Try not to shiver." "Just look straight at me and try not to shiver." "You can smoke if you want." "Good." "Now bite the apple." "And sometimes I get caught sitting for days in one place." "And they kick me out into Texas." "I get a room high up in the middle of the vacant lot." "I sit in the window and smoke and stare at the street." "And I close the window and walk in circles around a glass bowl with gold fish inside." "I kiss the glass and lick the fish." "I silently become a friend of myself." "I silently making up with myself." "Try to be friendly with myself and smoothing myself out." "Pretend that you are Julius now and rise up your arm." "I just want to test your face." "Now step forward." "Now look straight at the camera." "Straight at the camera." "Ok." "Good." "Things tend to rot." "Rotten elements in life." "In other words I suffocate." "I suffer." "I suffer for what I do and what I say." "I have to take it back." "In other words not." "Not to take it back but I have to defend it." "And it's hard to speak always, you know what I mean?" "I mean once your speach is used up is used up you can't teach anymore." "You can't take it back." "Sometimes I trade." "Not to take it back but trade, to trade." "You will be alright." "Sometimes a trade goes on the blink." "When goes on a blink it just can't be helped." " You can act I can see that." " You can't blame anybody for it." " You'll be fine." " You have to compromise." "That's what Bob Dylan says now." " And time will tell who has been left behind." " You go through a whole period of being silent." "I think you have a good face, you are a good actor, I'm sure of that." "I trust you as an actor." "I don't trust actors." "You never know what they are doing, what they are really feeling." "They are modifying the way they come out, the way they present themselves to people." "But everybody does that." "I mean everybody selfedits what comes out." "And I'm doing it now." "You remember when we met Allen and Julius in the bookstore after he came out of the hospital?" "He was talking then." "You remember the situation in the bookstore?" "The way Allen and Julius talked together." "How happy Julius was." "You remember what he said?" "Julius was talking to Allen Ginsberg and he said to him:" "What happens about he said" "What happens to you after you die?" "And Allen said "Nothing, I think nothing happens anymore"" "And Julius said: "You don't see anything, you don't hear anything?" He said "No I don't think so"" "And he said:" "What about.." "Allan said "I don't think there is any experience at all any more"" "He said: "You mean no soul?" And Allen said: "No, no soul"" "Julius said: "Only smoke"" "Just like that." "Just I mean it like from soul to no soul you just sort of had to adapt to that." "Again and again he kept saying "What happens to you after you die?"" "And there was cognizance that he was not dead that he was alive and he wants to know what was going to happen later." "A few times have I ever seen anyone so alive so exposed and he said, he kept talking about good and bad and people more bad than good and that kind of thing, really got Allen excited" "Evil and ugly, innocent ended, ended" "I mean both sides are arbitrary conceptions." "All conceptions of existence of the Self as well as all conceptions of the nonexistence of the Self as well as all conceptions of a existence of a Supreme Self. like God as well as all conceptions of a nonexistence of the Supreme Self" "are equally arbitrary, being only conceptions." "What do I mean by conceptions?" "Ok, back to the film." "Everybody grows up differently, you know." "I grew up in New-York." "New-York is really beautiful, I love it." "You know," "I've learnt how to read in New-York." "And I was 21 in New-York." "What do you think about the war in Vietnam, Johnson?" "You've got a peace prayer?" "Peace is good." "Make love not war, right?" " In Vietnam" " Peace is a groovy thing." "I'm for peace, right?" " they are killing!" " Make love not war!" "Wow!" "[unclear. probably "I'm not a stone." "I 'm not supposed to blesses it"]" "Peace!" "You have to march!" "Haha, dirty, dirty, dirty!" " Gotta go to the cleaners." " My mind must be overstimulated" "There is so much to see!" "When I look out of the window I don't really see, I think." " You just look out of the window." " about things like what am I supposed to do" " next - you see one thing at a time." "I think what does it mean, what I'm supposed to or not supposed to" "You know you can talk about everything, do you." "And Allen kept talking about consciousness and he talked about his various kinds of Zen ideas" "and this conversation was going on around all these thousands of books with titles and words in them and thoughts in it and interpretations of everything but Julius kept asking that the most primitive kind of questions he kept asking things that most of the people in the books would have been embaressed to" "because it's something that children ask and then you put them off because you don't have any answers either." "but because you don't have any answers you have to stop asking things" "I can't remember right now, too many the things he asked but like" " Show him the teeth." "Oh I get you do that." " Right." "See?" "The teeth." "Well, this.." "because first of all I was trying to understand Julius and because there was, there were only a few things that he did that gave you signals of certain things that were preoccupying him one was the teeth." "The teeth was like a signal." "Stay in your seat, Julius, and don't talk." "Mondrian, Piet." "Sutin, great artist, great painter." "Pablo Picasso." "Chinese calligraphy." "Open your mouth and pretend you can talk." "Isamu Noguchi" " I'll give you a surprise." " Matisse." " A flower pot." " It has red and white stripes" ""The agony in the garden"" "Giovanni Bellini, Francis Bacon." "Indian pop art." "Another Matisse." "That's fine, Julius." "We can take a picture of your teeth." "Julius, keep your mouth shut." "That's fine, Julius." "Just hold it open like that and we'll be all done." "How long does it take?" "How long?" "Hey, Julius, open your mouth and keep still." "Julius, behave." "I'll give you a surprise." "Good boy." "De Kooning, Portrait of Doctor Grienbaum" " Julius!" " Good boy." "If you have something for me I can have it." " I can have it now." " I don't have anything." "No!" "Stay away from me!" " No!" "Stay away!" " Leave her alone!" "You'd better watch out." "Remember what they told you before, Julius?" "Remember what I told you before?" "All right, let's go home then." "Come on." "I'll just leave you here then." "I'll let him stay, he won't steal anything." "Hey!" "Hello..." "Hello..." "I do know you." "I met you once." "I did, I saw you smiling." "I think I've met you in Downtown." "I don't go Downtown everyday, it must have been in the spring or something." "I think I've met you in the elevator." "Didn't I?" "Don't remember, ha?" "Hey!" "Didn't I meet you in the elevator?" " I did." " No, I don't ride elevators." "Yes, you do, that's where I met you." "I met you in the elevator." "You were going up to...to see..." "I think it was a lithographer or something." " No, I think not." " It's hard to remember." "Sometimes you have a lot of people on your mind." "You don't remember everything." "Is that true?" "You're nervous." "You afraid to go to the dentist?" "It doesn't hurt." "Well, yes, I mean we have very painful lives, we have very painful relationships with people." "And God knows there is enough pain in the world without having anything happen to your teeth." "You may be you are rich or something." "Well, it doesn't matter." "With the secret life you won't tell anybody about the matter what they ask you." "Doesn't matter how lonely they are." "Doesn't matter how sweet they are." "Doesn't matter how pretty they are." "You just won't tell any one." "Doesn't matter, I'll guess." "I'll tell you about yourself." "You're a young man, you're probably about 35 years old" "You have a rich and secret past." "You're..." "May be you are a photographer." "Ok, you are a documentary photographer." "Or maybe like a reportage photographer." "You know, that's a strange thing." "Reportage." "You know, it is." "Because like some guy's killing a woman right in front of you and like you're taking a fucking picture of it." "You know, you don't help the woman to save her life, you're getting a story." "i mean, where is your one to one relationship?" "That's what I wanna know." "You're a creep." "You are some blackmailer, wow." "Because you're always watching privacy." "I'm a human being." "You know, I light a match and I smoke a cigarette and I go to the bathroom just like Queen Elizabeth." "I'm just saying that life has it's vaudevillian aspects." "Now should I tell you what I really do?" "I'm an actress." "I'm a aging alcoholic actress." "And oh, I'm very proud of that." "And the reason I'm talking to you is 'cause love to make a movie." "I've been out of work for so terribly terribly long." "And you have a very creative sensibility." "I didn't tell you my name, did I?" "I have many names but the name I'd like to give to you today is Kismet Nagy." "Kis for short." "I'm a daydreamer." "I dream by day and sleep by night." "I'm obsolete." "I like to look at a one thing at a time." "You are a photographer, you understand this, you make movies." "Can you look at more than one thing at a time and by looking at that one thing don't you see everything ultimately?" "But if you look at everything you see nothing." "I see things." "If I could get behind a lense and see things straight, you know, tick for tack for tick for tack, I could make a fortune." "I mean it's they are the fools, that there's money!" "There's money!" "Don't you know that?" "I mean" "You could make a fortune." "And I'm not talking about gold or treasure." "I'm talking about being on a top, having sort of you know, making a movie, why." "Make a movie of how it really is." "Don't make a movie about making a movie." "Make it!" "Forget about the film, throw away your camera, just hit the strip." "Would it be fantastic if you didn't even have to have a piece of celluloid between you and what you saw, if your eye were its own projector, instead of its own camera?" "I am a camera!" "That's a beautiful title." "I am a camera too." "Hello." "Hello." "Hey, didn't I meet you in elevator?" " I did." " No." "Don't ride elevators." "Yes, you do, that's where I met you." "I met you in elevator." "You were going up to a lithographer or something." "That was an elevator." "You don't ride elevators." "What do you ride?" "Escalators." "Escalators?" "I don't really know how to talk to person I don't know" "I'm warried about my person." "All right, ladies and gentlemen, I don't think I have to introduce the next speaker except to say he is John Kennedy." "In that spirit let me tell you simply and briefly about a man." "He is a grandson of a pedlar." "A pedlar who was a proud, honourable and spirited man who left his ancestoral country in Europe in an early age." "And it is about his grand son that I would speak to you this afternoon and that grandson's name is Garry Goldman." "Hey, Julius." "Do you remember me?" "I'm from the Welfare department." "I'd like to ask you a few questions after you finnished breakfast." "Julius," "Julius, come, sit here and talk to me for a minute." "I wanna ask you a question." "Would you read these headlines to me?" "35 kids on a wild burning bus" "Crippled boy killed," "Story on page 3" "You read very well." "That was very good." "Julius, why did you stop reading?" "Won't you read to me some more?" "Let me ask you a question." "Do you know who you are?" "Who are you?" "Julius, would you tell me your name?" "What is your brother's name?" "What is your name?" "Let me ask you a question." "Did you help your brother paint the room?" "Did you paint this wall, Julius?" "Julius, look at my eyes, they are almost the same colour as yours." "Look at me." "Look at my eyes, they are almost the same colour as yours." "Look at me." "Look." "Do you want to?" "I want you to." "Hey, hey, could you tell me your name?" "Let me ask you a question." "Would you talk to me for a minute?" "Let me ask you a question." " What are your impressions from your last trip?" " I saw the Mutterhorn." "I saw custom women doing weaving," "I saw men carving little animals." "I saw the Swiss Alps and skiing" "What are these trips?" "Why do you take these trips?" "What kind of question is that?" "You have an exeptional ability to express yourself." "How come?" "Yes, well, since I'm you know an actress" "I'm very sensitive to a to new trends in literature and espetially to that group, the New School." "I think that that group really says something definite to me about the world that we live in." " Oh, God!" " Don't you think it does?" " Are you trying to put me on?" " Everyday is an act." "All these young queer playwrights, what do you think of them?" "They should be musketeers and protect women instead of killing them." "How did you get to where you are now?" "It's hard for me to answer the question." "You see, I'm not a pusher, you know," "I'm a lover." "Who are you talking to, what are you talking about?" "Do you even know?" "All you're trying to do is get across your own story, you don't even know what it is." "I don't really know how to discuss this or describe it because it's very hard, you see it's a state of evolution, it has to do with your carma." "Your carma is your past lives, your past deeds and it put back you when you do bad deeds." "Fantastic, she really says those things." "I hope you're putting us on." "Well, how did I begin?" "I began by concentrating." "I can't find anything here, I'm leaving." " I'm going back to my own house." " You don't know what you are talking about, you're just a kid." "Eventually go back to the state that you have when you are a baby." "Just complete consciousness." "You have no ideas, no opinions," "You realise that you are devine, realise that you are a perceiver, you know this is" "And perceptions always changing because that's an ocean of change of my evolution" "You're just sitting here." "You've been here before" "That's not different." "It always was" "Well, you really sway!" "How did you get your rhythm?" "My rhythm?" "Well I guess the rhythm is natural." "I always had it as a child." "You see, when you loose your rhythm, it means that you're not in your own house." "You see?" "And when you find the sense of a tune that means you are in your centre." "Touch my face." "Touch me." "Again." "Look at my eyes." "Julius?" "They are almost the same colour as yours." "Julius, please try to answer me," "I can't stay here very long, I must go on," "I want you to write your name on this piece of paper." "It's a form." "Julius, you know what I like most of all?" "I like most of all when you smile." "You have a beautiful smile." "Will you smile for me?" "Julius, please smile for me." "Don't you like me comming here to help you?" "to find out what you need and what you want?" "Come here, come here and touch me." "touch me please." "Take my hand." "Don't, don't move away from me, I'm not going to hurt you, don't be frightened of me." "Julius, please, don't look so scared." "Don't you remember who I am?" "I'm Virginia." "Aren't you glad to be out of the hospital?" "Peter tells me that you don't like to keep your room neat." "Now Peter loves you but you must keep yourself neat, you must keep yourself clean, put your things away" "Tidy your bedroom." "God damn laundry wringer or what do they call those things, that wring laundry dry." "That's what I'll do with his dick." "I'll take it to the fucking laundry." "And if his ass ain't clean" "I'll take a God damn broom and stick it up his ass and make him go zoom" "I have to allow one of these to get him clean, man." "I gotta worry about him all the time, it's not fair." "Come on God damn it Julius" "You can't do this to your brother Peter." "It's not fair." "Got to keep yourself clean." "Got to keep your room clean." "Like I do." "Yeah." "All these goddamn people around here, but you" "You've got to keep yourself clean or you'll go back to that hospital again or I'll fucking burn your body." "I'll kill you you'd better know about that fucking hospital, yes you do fuck you you'll rot there, that's all" "I'm not going to think about you one more time" "I've had it, I've got life for that I'm the real beast." "Oh, you little brat!" "Julius!" "And Peter and I got out and Julius was coming along with friends and they came to the door." "I was inside already, the place was crowded inside" "I notcied that Julius wasn't there anymore." "Like in between the car and the door of the Peter's place, he disappeared in the rain." "And like... so he got lost again, ijust like New York" "So we couldn't find him for a long long time" "Went to the police in San Francisco at that night, Started riding around with them all through ashbury section san francisco section looking for him." "But no dice, he'd simply disappeared into the streets of San Francisco." "It's July 4th right now, that's why there are all those firecrackers making noise" " We couldn't do anything." " Peter." "Stop talking." "He was wearing grey shoes, black pants tanned shirt and a grey raincoat and a hat of Uncle Sam's, coloured hat, sort of, you know with red and blue and white stripes and so the cop is filling out these forms" "then he gets on the phone to call missing persons to find out if they reported anything in" "While he's speaking on the phone to the missing persons' bureau gives my brother's name and does it like this:" "'O' as in offence," "'R' as in robber," "'L' as in illegal," "'O' as in operation" "'V' as in violence" "'S' as in steal" "'K' as in killer and 'Y' as in "Why not?"..." "'Y' as in...'Y' as in ..." " 'Y' as in ...why why why" " That's all right" "Just how do we get this hat back if he got lost in the hat?" " He got lost in that?" " No" " Is that what you say?" " I'm Julius." "I'm Julius now." "I'm Julius now." "Rain." "How do you feel about silence?" "I don't know, It's not good to be too holy, you know." "It's bad, it's bad overdo something people tend to overdo things" " Like what?" " Investigate too much." "Or be too indifferent, they work too much" "They give off poison, you know or they are not able to see" " You're listening to the words?" " Yeah." "Have you ever loved somebody?" "Not really." "I'm not able to." "Because there's so many people in the world." "I don't know." "You gotta keep on God, you know, sometimes" "But then sometimes you lose God and you're gone" "You're lost." "And you could die, you die away you fade away, you die away" "It's tragic in a way." "But then again other times it isn't." "It's too stern, you know it's too, too." "It's too stern or too rugged in other way we have salvation in the world, you know is to console one another" "If we do that, but it's no use good to trust, you know" "That's why we have insurance companies" "That's why we have banks, that's why we have robberies, That's why we have murderers" "That's why we have thieves, that's why we have jippers that's why we have law breakers, mongers, thieves killers of every kind." "What's your name?" "You need a shave, man" "I had a dream I was punching somebody, I was hitting in the face" "I was actually hitting him" "I was.." "I used to hit myself I would stick cigarettes in my skin." "I used to bang myself, I used to swing at other guys used to swing at stone walls" "It's because people just threw rocks at me" "And it's why I actually set fire in the house" "I didn't have many friends but I remember but I remember George" "Do you know, George?" "We used to work together out in Long Island?" "That's when I had a cat, my old cat." "Tholmaschevsky" "He was a sad one, and an unnoticed one, too neutral" "suffering, that's what it is." "Beggars of their days." "I had a dream where I was kissing a baby" "Why didn't we get shocks?" "Electric shocks." "I got the shocks through sockets." "I've got an shock through sockets." "I remember, remember that" "Where'd you learn the shock?" "will they come back?" "sure, sure they will" "I..." "I can't describe... electric shocker." "I cannot remember, it was so... it was so... so... so... quiet." "What's next?" " Ok, come on." " My speech is all used up, I have nothing else to say." "I've nothing else to read from, I don't know who to play." " What should I do now?" " Say something to the camera." " So what should I do now?" "Who shall I be?" "Who shall I play?" "Sometimes I go off somewhere and I start to walk like Julius." "As I'm walking like him I'm where he is." "I can't figure out why where he's at is a better place to be" "Maybe I'm being romantic but where he is seems like a meeting place, like a common denominator." "If you strip anybody of his style he'd be where Julius is." "The patient was admitted to Napa hospital on February 27, 1967 from San Francisco General a note in the chart made by the admitting physician state that the commitment paper state that the patient is 32 years old and his name George Orlovsky." "This patient will not talk, refuses to answer questions." "At the present time when asked his name he says his name is George Joseph" "When asked his age he whispered that he was 25." "After these two questions the patient refused answer any questions whatsoever he is cooperative, he responds to orders as far as moving about, standing up, sitting down, taking off his jacket etc." "However, he refuses to answer any questions." "He did nod his head when was asked if he had ever been in this hospital before this time, he has been quiet and cooperative on the ward and was never according to the nurses' notes returned his book and answered all the questions." "Physical examination revealed a healthy young white male exam is essentially negative except for a healing, either surgical or knife, incision in the lower abdomen." "Would in approximately eight inches long and somewhat resembles a Pfannenstiel scar" "I don't know what is it." "You wanna banana?" "Patient refuses to state whether it was an injury or surgery or what was done and when it was done, examination otherwise is essentially negative." "Patient weighs 142 pounds, he's 5 and 5 tall" "Diagnosis - schizophrenic reaction, catatonic type" "Recommendation for further treatment, recommendation for treatment for this buddy work therapy, phenothiazine therapy evaluation as his mental outlook disproves" "Is it a letter from the head doctor or what?" "It is a letter from the department of mental health Napa State Hospital." "Signed by doctor Robert Coomer M. D.G.M." "What is M.D.G.M.?" " M.D. is a medical doctor, G.M. is the secretary's name." " We have to find out what happened." "We're allowed an upper state, we drive through the gates" "You know the recollection of today, Napa state" "What did you take there?" "Let's go on from there." " We get in, it was raining and..." " Doctor, I forgot what was his first name again?" "I forgot." "What was the idea that you started picking up the broom and started running around and picking up every little speck of dirt?" "The idea was to, let's see, to have a..." "I realized that I was doing to wait there" "I realized it was a I realized it was going to be a little bit of a wait before we got Julius out of the hospital" " Sit down there" " So I had..." "How much how much time did I have on my hands?" "When did you realize that?" "to pass theì time before they release him?" "So you run around with a broom and cleaning up the toilet." "You must be out of your mind" "I've got to be be out of my mind but I've got to be the patience though" "Let's go on from there" "The story with the clothes, the clothes you have and then you see Julius" "I don't know, it so long alone to remember it" "I am supposed to go back, you want me to go that far back?" "Yeah, that's what I want you to do." "Well just once more describe the clothes you brought for him to wear." "Brought where, what clothes?" "What about it?" "Oh, yes, we took off what we asked at the hospital" "I said to my Julius "Take off this clothes, we don't want anything from that hospital"." "Take off this clothes an put this clothes on, right?" "Why was it, why was it that he changed?" " What did he have on?" "Describe." " It was nice hospital clothes" "Better clothes than the ones I was giving him, right" "Did Julius say anything when you took the clothes away?" "I mean when you returned the clothes to the hospital?" " he folded them up, you know?" " yeah, I don't think he wanted to give it back." "I think he wanted those clothes or something" "What was the next we did?" "Do you remember?" "I asked him, I asked him how many shock treatments he got and what was the voltage." "And what about his talking, what about that?" " What about his talking?" "well he went to get something from the bathroom, said he just wanted to put something on his hands - "otherwise my hands are going to dry much to fast"" "What is that?" "Does the fact that he sit down and said Hello Robert, have you come out away from New York" " I remember he said that." " Yes." "Yes, we came over from New York" "Well what did you think that al l of a sudden he was talking clearly?" "I thought it was about fucking time, I would have given him a boot in the ass if he wasn't fucking talking God damn it." "I want to know what counts I took him out of the hospital because he's a he's been there for 13 years, I don't know why the fuck I took him out of the hospital, I shouldn't have bothered." "i'm tired of having to take care of him all the time god damn he's supposed to take care of himself from now on" "He's only but a God Damn leech" "He's worser that leech God Damn it he's a fucking creep" "Julius we want to know how you feel about the shock treatment" " I thought -speak up - that maybe I commited a crime, against the State." "For taking shock treatment that wasn't at all justifiable." " How?" " Consider well... considering any experiential... outcome of being in shock treatment or around it or near it or talking about it" "What do you think of Allen?" "What I think of Allen?" "I consider Allen as just being Allen." "for what he is I mean" "I'm not too..." "I'm not too" "That's as clear as I can be on that matterr" "Ïîíÿòíî, ÷òî ÿ íå ìîãó áûòü ïî ýòîìó ïîâîäó." "And Peter?" "Peter...well, Peter is my brother and he knows about my receiving shock treatment" "For what reason.." "I don't know for what reason I receive shock treatment..." "I don't know" "Nobody has ever..ever satisfied me." "Now look at the camera." "How do you feel about acting?" "Acting is something beyond my collaboration" "Tell it to the camera, what you think about acting." "Acting is beyond my my thought processes sometimes at times it may be a waste of time" "stay a little bit more over here, Julius" "Yeah, that's good." "Say something to the camera." "Well the camera is a..seems like a... reflection of disapproval or disgust or disappointment or unhelpfulness, ness" "or unexplanation, unexplaining unexplainability..abil... unexplainability, abil..ability" "to disclose any real real truth that might possibly exist." "Where does truth exist?" "Inside and outside the world" "Outside the world is, well, I don't know." "Maybe it's just a theory, an idea or a theory is all we can arrive at," "a theory or an explanation to the matter." "Wherever you consern yourself with." "Look into the camera." " And say: my name is Peter, you know." " My name is Peter." " No-no" " Oh!" "My name is Peter" " No." "Your name." "What is your name?" " My name.." "My name is Julius Orlovsky." "And where do you live?" "4 L E Eastern street" "You going back to New York?" "Well, yeah, I think on... on the 17th something like that Peter said he's going tp take me out to the Island see my family out there." " It's cold?" "Come inside." " It's chilly, chilly." "Oh, the weather is cold, I don't know, but transcribtion of the subtitles via the ear is done Abris, Anastasia Dmitrievskaya, Jenna Nolt and Egor Sofronov"