"My name is Richard." "So what else do you need to know... stuff about my family or where i'm from?" "None of that matters... not once you cross the ocean and cut your self loose looking for something more beautiful, something more exciting... and, yes, i admit... something more dangerous." "So after 1 8 hours in the back of an airplane, 3 dumb movies, 2 plastic meals, 6 beers, and absolutely no sleep... i finally touched down..." "Hey, you!" "How aboutyou?" "in Bangkok." "Want to go to the waterfall?" "Come on!" "Floating market!" "1 ,500!" "Cheap foryou!" "Come on!" "Hey!" "Hey, you need somewhere to stay?" "No. i'll be fine." "i'll find my own place." "Thanks." "What do you want, man?" "And this is it" "Bangkok:" "good-time city, gateway to southeast Asia, where dollars and deutschmarks get turned into counterfeit watches and genuine scars." "Good time!" "Boy, girl, fucking." "No problem." "This is where the hungry come to feed." "You want to drink snake blood?" "Wait a minute." "Did you say snake blood?" "Oh, yeah." "No, thanks." "What is wrong with snake blood?" "i just don't like the idea." "Oh, maybe you're scared." "Afraid of somethin' new?" "No. i just don't like the idea, that's all." "Ha!" "Like every tourist-- you want it all be safe, just like America." "Richard:" "So never refuse an invitation." "Never resist the unfamiliar." "Uhh!" "Never fail to be polite..." "Gentlemen... that was excellent." "And never out stay your welcome." "Just keep your mind open and suck in the experience, and if it hurts... it's probably worth it." "Hey." "Good evening." "Hi." "Can i get a room, please?" "Yes." "Man:" "Roger." "They need some napalm down there at tree line." "Can you try and put it down there?" "Richard:" "The only downer is everyone's got the same idea." "We all travel thousands of miles just to watch TV and check into somewhere with all the comforts ofhome." "And you gotta ask yourself..." "Don't worry, man!" "We'll have this place cleaned up and ready for us in a jiffy, so don't you worry!" "what is the point of that?" "Ahem!" "Et voila." "Thank you." "Bonsoir." "Bonsoir." "Good night." "And as for traveling alone, fuck it." "if that's the way it has to be, then that's the way it is." "Everybody happy!" "Man:" "Everybody havin' a good time, eh?" "Fuckyou!" "Fuckyou!" "Woman:" "Please shut up, okay?" "Bastard parasites!" "Parasites!" "Yeah." "That's fucking great!" "Cancers!" "Bastard cancers!" "Whoo..." "Waah!" "Woman:" "Ah!" "Man:" "Waah!" "The big, chunky charlie is eatin' up the whole fuckin' world!" "Man:" "Hey!" "Hey, you!" "You got anything to smoke?" "No, i don't have anything to smoke." "That's no problem, pal, 'cause, uh... i've got loads ofthe fucking stuff." "Oh!" "You understand what i'm sayin'?" "Yeah." "No, you don't." "No, you're right." "i don't." "Ah!" "That's better!" "Thanks." "it was the beach... you understand?" "The beach?" "it was too... beautiful, too much input, too much...sensation." "i tried to keep it under control, but it just keeps spilling out and spilling out and spilling out." "Right." "You see, um... she's on an island... and that island is-- is perfect. i mean-- i mean real perfection, you know?" "i'm not just talkin' about..." ""Oh, that's nice."" "it's the real fucking deal, okay?" "Perfect." "it's just like a-- a lagoon, you know," "A tidal lagoon that's sealed in by cliffs, totally fuckin' secret, totally fuckin'... forbidden." "And nobody can ever, ever, ever, ever go there." "Ever." "But a few people went... once upon a time... men and women with ideals, you understand?" "i'm not just talkin' about the usual traveling', fucking wanks." "Do you believe in that place?" "No." "But i guess you're gonna tell me that i should, right?" "it doesn't even fucking matter what i think anymore." "it's up toyou." "ideals, eh?" "We were just fucking parasites!" "The big, chunky charlie!" "See, i was the one that was tryin' to find the cure." "Procurer of the cure." "And i said to them, "You've got to leave." "You've got to leave this place."" "But they wouldn't listen." "No offense and all, but... you're fucked in the head, right?" "There, Richard." "it's been nice knowin' ya, man." "Yeah." "You, too." "Be careful!" "Electric-- Electricity!" "Ma'am!" "Ma'am!" "Bzzzz!" "Chill, man." "No worry." "Hey, man, there is a letter foryou." "A what?" "Letter on your door." "No fuckin' way." "Doyou..." "Hello?" "Richard:" "You hope... and you dream." "But you never believe that something's gonna happen for you, not like it does in the movies." "And when it actually does... you want it to feel different... more visceral... more real." "i was waiting for it to hit me... but it just wouldn't happen." "A name of Mr. Daffy Duck." "Birthplace-- Never-Never Land?" "Gonna fuck up all the paperwork." "The police were pissed because he was traveling under a false passport." "Go ahead." "Sign the statement." "it's okay." "it just say he cut his wrists, already dead when you found him." "But they didn't ask me about the map, so..." "No problem." "i didn't tell 'em." "You have a nice day." "Good luck." "Excuse me." "Look, i mean... this island may not actually even exist, and even if it does, i don't even know if we can get there or not." "i just wondered if you wanted to come with me." "That's all." "Hey, you wanna take a hike?" "Uh, a trip, a journey... with your girlfriend and me?" "i mean, the two of you and me, together?" "i'm talking about the secret island." " Hi." " Hi." "i just feel like everyone tries to do somethin' different, but you always wind up doin' the same damn thing." "i realized that i had absolutely no idea of how i was gonna get there." "But Etienne-- and i have to hand it to the guy-- was great." "i mean, he organized the whole thing:" "tickets, timetables, the whole damn trip" "Bangkok to Surat Thani," "Surat Thani to Na Thon," "Na Thon to Chawang-- 500 miles in 24 hours at less than 400 baht." "Trust me, it's a very good deal." "We were headed for the great unknown, but to get there, we had to follow the regular tourist trail." "*A little less pushing' *" "* Or shoving', take it easy*" "*You could even get sleazy*" "* Come around *" "*Watch a movie *" "*With the sound down *" "*And get woozy*" "We are fine." "it's arranged." "Tomorrow morning." "1 ,800 baht." "Oh, great, man." "Nice work." "There's one problem." "He will not take us to the island." "it's in the National Park, and it's forbidden to go there." "But we are allowed to travel to this one to stay for one night." "Yeah, yeah." "No." "See, that's the wrong one." "Yeah, i know that." "Right, but how do we get from there to there?" "We swim." "We swim?" "Yeah." "We leave our rucksacks on this island, and then we swim." "You can swim, can'tyou, Richard?" "Of course i can swim." "So, no problem." "Okay, so how far is it, though?" "i don't know." "One or 2 kilometers?" "Cool." "Cool." "Not far at all." "Stop it, Richard." "it will be worth it." "An adventure, and just the 3 of us!" "Uh-oh." ""Can you swim?"" "Of course i can swim." ""Oh, yeah, i am french, and i have zee beautiful girlfriend, too, eh?"" "Great!" "God damn it!" "Locked out, huh?" "Yeah." "Lost your key?" "Uh-huh." "Bummer." "Yeah, bummer." "Soyou wanna grab a beer or somethin'?" "You're probably better off without her, anyway, bro." "Sammy, how the fuck would you know if he's better off without her or not?" "You've never even met her!" "i'm just tryin' to help the guy through the dark times." "it's not a problem." "You see, Zeph?" "it's not a problem." "Change the fuckin' subject." "All right." "Let's talk about how you spend an hour in front of the mirror every day." "Oh, that's nice." "You know this guy?" "He likes to wipe his ass with tree leaves." "He thinks he's some sort of jungle commando." " i swear to God." " whatever." "Damn." "Ha ha ha." "i presume you know the story of the Kentucky-fried mouse." "Yeah." "A woman bites into a chicken leg, and it turns out to be a... a mouse... right?" " Right." " A mouse." "it's an urban myth." "Exactly. it always happened to a friend of a friend of someone else." "So?" "So, i guess there's this urban myth goin' around here at the moment." "it's about a beach." "Yeah?" "Uh-huh." "Huh." "And this beach is perfect, man." "it's on an island, right?" "Hidden from the sea." "Now, imagine, you got... pure white sand... crystal-clearwater... palm trees." "Yeah." "With coconuts and shit." "Yo, tell him the best part, dawg." "Plus... enough dope, Richard, to smoke all day every day for the rest of your goddamn life!" "Yeah!" "Mad weed!" "There's only a few people who know exactly where it is, and they keep it absolutely secret." "Of course, no one's actually ever met any ofthese people, only met somebody who has." "You know what i mean?" "Exactly. it's a Kentucky-fried mouse." "hmm." "Although, i must say, ifi had a key to a place like that, i'd keep it to myself, 'cause you don't want every fucking asshole in Thailand turning' up." "Boop-boo!" "Yeah, yeah." "So what do you think about that story, Richard?" "it's good." "it's a good story." " Hey, you!" " Sammy:" "Jesus." "i got your key!" "Richard:" "Now, i know it wasn't a part of the plan, but i made a decision to leave a copy of the map." "i'm not gonna say it was the best decision i ever made." "i told myself that spreading news was a part of a traveler's nature, but if i was being completely honest, i was just like everybody else... shit-scared of the great unknown... desperate to take a little piece of home with me." "Etienne:" "Richard!" "Are you ready?" "Yeah, yeah. i'm comin'." "Let's go." "Francoise?" "Shht!" "Etienne will be angry if i wake him." "He thinks i waste time taking photographs of the sky." "Oh, God." "i think so, too." "Yeah?" "Have a look." "One night, i will get the perfect photograph." "Hi." "Whoa!" "Ha ha ha!" "You realize that... in the eternity of space... there's probably a planet out there, right... just like this one... where another you is photographing back down towards us." "i mean, essentially, you are photographing yourself in a parallel universe." "incredible." "Yeah." "i mean, there are infinite worlds out there, you know?" "Where anything you want to happen... does happen." "Richard, you know something?" "Hmm?" "This is just the kind of pretentious bullshit that Americans always say to French girls so they can sleep with them." "Oh, God... sorry." "i thought i was doin' pretty good." "it's just the sky, Richard." "Let's try." "Yeah." "idiot." "Un, deux, trois... quatre." "Richard:" "When you develop an infatuation for someone, you always find a reason to believe that this is exactly the person for you." "it doesn't need to be a good reason." "Taking photographs of the night sky, for example." "Now, in the long run, that's just the kind of dumb, irritating habit that would cause you to split up." "But in the haze of infatuation, it's just what you've been searching for all theseyears." "One kilometer." "2." "Richard?" "i don't know. i'm American." "So?" "i think in miles, not kilometers." "Okay, so how many miles do you think it is?" "i don't know, but it looks like a long way away." "if it's too far, we're gonna drown." "But if we don't try, then we'll never know, right?" "Right." "So let's go." "Whoo!" "You guys all right?" "Yeah." "We're okay." "Yeah." "i think we're about halfway." "Oh, fuck!" "Richard!" "Fuck!" "What?" "i saw a fin." "What?" "Are you joking?" "No, no, no!" "A fin." "Okay, a shark fin?" "i don't know." "Just a fin over there, about 100 meters." "Well, was it big?" "Yes." "Well, what the fuck do you expect me to do about it?" "Nothing. i just thought you should know!" "Well, to be honest, Etienne, i'd rather you hadn't told me!" "Okay, i'm sorry." "it's a bit fucking late now, isn't it?" "Francoise!" "Francoise!" "She's gone!" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God!" "Okay, what happened?" "i don't know." "Shejust went underwater!" "She was pulled under!" "Francoise!" "Where did you go?" "Francoise!" "i don't see her!" "Oh, fuck!" "it's her bag!" "Okay, was there a shark?" "Did you see a shark, Etienne?" "i don't know!" "i don't know!" "Oh, fuck." "Oh, fuck, man." "Aah!" "Aah!" "Aah!" "Oh!" "Ha ha ha!" "Oh, fuck you!" "Oh!" "Ha ha ha." "Ah ha ha ha ha." "Ah ha ha ha ha." "Oh ho-ho, yeah!" "Oh, you Europeans are so funny, huh?" "You have such a playful sense of humor." "No wonderyour comedies conquered the world." "Ha ha!" "What about Molière?" "Who?" "Oh, fuck off." "Come on." "Etienne:" "Wow." "Oh." "Now, this is what i call a lot of dope." "Huh." "Hey." "We're gonna go this way." "Okay?" "Shut up." "Shut up." "Come on." "Aah." "Ay." "Richard:" "Sure, we should've turned back, but i wasn't going to, not now." "i just kept telling them we'd get there." "Trust me." "it's paradise." "ifwe take this down, it should lead us all the way." "Come on." "Etienne:" "Fuck." "Richard:" "Oh, God." "Merde." "Etienne:" "Well?" "Richard:" "Well, what?" "How do we get down?" "How do we get down?" "How am i supposed to know?" "Do i have to decide everything now?" "We'll jump." "Fuck." "You wanted to be in command, Richard." "i only took command because you lost your nerve, French boy!" "Yeah, and look where you've taken us!" "We'll jump." "ifyou're not happy with the way things are going, you can just take over." "All right, sir?" "All right. i will." "There." "We'll climb down there." "We can jump." "Francoise, look." "We're not gonna jump, all right?" "So just can it." "And as for climbing down there, that is just an asshole suggestion!" "You calling me an asshole?" "Yeah, and that's just the start of it." "All right, fuck-face, let's do it." "All right, motherfucker." "Etienne:" "Francoise!" "Shit." "Francoise!" "Francoise:" "Come on, guys." "it's okay." "it's not dangerous." "Come on." "Drop the bags down." "Come on!" "All right." "So we'll jump." "Oh, fuck." "Both:" "Aah!" "Etienne:" "Oh, fuck!" "Waah!" "Wahoo!" "Did you see that shit?" "Whoo!" "Whoo-hoo!" "Richard:" "Oh, my God!" "Congratulations!" "Took me the best part of an hour to work up the balls to do that." "Mind you, i was on me own." "So you have to make allowances." "You know what i mean?" "i think maybe you better meet up with Sal." "Jesus Christ!" "We're fucking here!" "Do you realize that?" "Don't you go anywhere!" "All right." "Doing well." "Ciao, Sonja." "Hi." "Noisy kitchen." "Howyou doing?" "What's for dinner?" "Man:" "One guess." "Fish." "Richard: i don't know what we expected, people living in a cave?" "Maybe even a few guys in tents..." "Gregorio." "but nothing like this." "How are you, Keaty?" "Roll 'em." "Don't smoke 'em." "it was like we arrived into a lost world, a full-scale community oftravelers, not just passing through, but actually living here." "i suddenly became aware that we weren't even invited." "Richard:" "The guy who drew it" "Daffy." "Yeah." "Yeah." "He's dead." "Man:" "What?" "Second man:" "No way." "Yeah." "He cut his wrists open in a hotel room on the Khao San Road." "You have seen this?" "Well, i came afterwards." "Well, that's sad news." "He was one of the founders of our community." "Oh." "But he became depressed." "Woman:" "This is crazy." "The police didn't know what to do with the body, so i guess they're gonna, like, incinerate him or something." "Doyou think he gave a map to anybody else?" "i--i, no." "i don't think so." "And you, have you shown this map to anybody?" "No." "No." "No." "Good." "We value our secrecy." "Man:" "Yeah, burn!" "Let's gag one." "* Ooh, me *" "You hear that?" "You hear that?" "* i think that i am going out ofmy mind *" "* Going out ofmy*" "* Mind *" "* Hey, woman * * it's all right *" "* Hey*" "* Hey*" "C'est magnifiique." "* Hey*" "* Hey*" "* Hey*" "*Woman *" "Oh. it's so fucking beautiful, man." "Neighbors." "Hey. i've got your oils, man." "Here. i want to give you something." "Listen up, everybody." "Okay." "Tomorrow i will travel for many miles on a bicycle." "Um, Vicki." "Uh, uh, sutra cuputovati mnogomillja biciklom." "Great." "Very good." "Helene." "Very good." "Sutra cuputovati mnogomillja biciklom." "Sonja:" "Very good." "Keaty?" "All right." "it's far too easy, though." "Yes." "Okay." "Sutra cuputovati mnogomillja biciklom." "There's more, you know." "He knows everything." "Richard!" "Ahem." "Sutra cuputovati mnogomillja biciklom." "Yes, Richard!" "You're represented, man." "Sutra cuputovati mnogomillja biciklom." "This became ourworld, and these people, our family." "back home was just one more place we didn't think about." "i settled in." "i found my vocation:" "the pursuit of pleasure." "Sal was the leader, but it wasn't a big deal." "i mean, there wasn't any ideology or shit like that." "it was just a beach resort for people who don't like beach resorts." "...and some of us build." "Even paradise takes a little shaping." "Richard:" "For years, they kept this place a secret." "They didn't need to tell anyone." "They were practically self-sufficient." "The only thing they had to do was sail back once in a while to trade a little marijuana and buy some rice." "Whoa!" "We grow our own, which means no stealing from the farmers on the other side." "And do they know that you're living here?" "Oh, yeah, but they keep to their side, and we don't trespass on their turf." "A couple of years ago, they came to us, and they said that we could stay." "That was all right, but nobody else should come." "which kind of suits us as well." "So, you was lucky, you know?" "Very lucky." "Richard:" "There was Keaty, who only cared about 2 things..." "Thank you, Lord, for the twin pillars of civilization:" "Christianity and cricket." "There were the Swedes" "Christo, Sten, and Karl." "We like fishing." "Fishing." "Yeah." "And in the winter, we like skiing." " Yeah." " Yeah." "Of course, in Thailand, there is no skiing." "We wait, okay?" "We wait until the fish come." "Get it?" "Shit." "No way!" "Whoo!" "And i said unto thee, "i shall provide!"" "Yeah!" " Stop it." " What?" "Richard: our resident chef was known as Unhygenix..." "Let's cook." "on account of his obsession with soap." "Fish, fish, fish." "Still i smell fish." "Richard:" "There was a range of sporting and leisure activities to suit all tastes." "Etienne is good at soccer." "i could do that if i wanted to." "i just don't want to." "What are you talking about?" "Making conversation." "Do you have a girlfriend?" "Here?" "Anywhere." "No." "Why?" "Just making conversation." "Right arm overwicket, 3 balls remaining." "is there anyone who still does not understand?" "The only person i didn't like was Sal's boyfriend Bugs, our on-island carpenter." "Hey, Richard." "Can you do this?" "Can you make anything?" "A man should have a talent in his hands." "Here we go, people!" "Whoo!" "So every community has its rituals." "Well, ours was simple." "The last one to arrive tattoos the next." "it fucking hurts, okay?" "What did he say?" "Aah!" "Aah!" "Andy, bring yours closer." "Come on, Richard." "Oh, God!" "Oh, God!" "Oh,Jesus!" "That fucking hurt!" "All in all, this really was paradise." "Except for one thing:" "desire is desire wherever you go." "The sun will not bleach it, nor the tide wash it away." "Francoise." "One--she's just teasing you." "What are you talking about?" "2--you don't speak french." "3--he speaks French." "in fact, even better than that-- 4--he is French." "5--he's much better at football-- sorry, sorry-- soccer than you." "and 6--you're a bit strange, rich." "Some girls like that in a man, but not usually the sort of girls you want to be with." "is that right?" "Come on." "Your last girlfriend chucked you." "There must've been a reason." "Well, it was not my fault." "And 7--look at, look at your thumbs, man." "They're well defined." "What is that supposed to mean?" "You play a lot of video games." "That is a powerful index of incompatibility." "Well, why do i get the feeling like you're trying to tell me something here, Keaty?" "You haven't a hope, mate, not a bleeding chicken's chance in Thailand." "Know what i mean?" "Thank you." "So, enjoy the beach and cut the bullshit." "Thank you very much." "it's my pleasure." "No. no." "You, no." "You cannot--no." "No!" "No." "Please leave me." "Leave me!" "Hey, that's my bed." "No!" "i can deal with it." "i don't wantyou to deal with it!" "it won't take a minute, Gregorio." "No!" "Really, no." "No. i must go to mainland!" "i'm sick." "i've got to." "Sal!" "What's this?" "You want to go to the mainland to see a dentist?" "Yes." "it's out of the question." "Come on." "it'll be fun." "i'll be the nurse." "it won't hurt." "Be brave." "How's it going, Richard?" "Fine." "Fine." "You okay with this?" " Yeah." "i mean, we have a secret here, right?" "Sometimes people need to take a little pain to keep it that way." "Excellent." "Excellent attitude." "No problem." "You'll be okay." "Oh, shit!" "Good work!" "Kill the pain, boy." "Okay." "Take the drink." "Take a drink." "Bugs." "Thankyou, Bugs." "Thankyou." "Richard?" "Yeah." "Would you like to come to the beach with me?" "Come on, Etienne." "Just throw one, man." "Okay." "Seven ofdiamonds." "All right, man." "Sure." "Yeah." "Francoise:" "Areyou happy, Richard?" "Richard:" "Happy?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah. i guess." "i mean, the beach, you know, is just perfect." "Do you think that i ignoreyou?" "No." "But i do." "it's because i'm with Etienne." "it's difficult for me to spend time with you." "i don't suppose that there's any, you know, special reason thatyou should... spend time with me, that is." "Of course there is." "i like you a lot." "Have you told this to Etienne or..." "No." "it's our secret." "Okay." "Look!" "There." "The plankton." "Shrimps." "When they're disturbed, they glow." "Come on." "That night, we promised ourselves, and we honestly believed, that no one would ever know." "i want to talk." "About what?" "Aboutyou and Francoise." "What do you mean, me and Francoise?" "i mean, Richard... that i want her to be happy." "Yeah." "i mean, of course." "We all do, right?" "Shut up!" "Please shut the fuck up." "And if happy is with you, then i will not stand in her way." "Etienne, man, i re... i really don't know what you're talking about." "Fuck you, Richard!" "i know!" "Okay?" "i know." "Everybody knows!" "The problem is seeing the fish." "With the heavy rain and the bad light, it's very difficult to catch them." "it could last for days." "Sometimes... we get really hungry." "Give me that." "Richard!" "Richard!" "Richard!" "Richard!" "i can't hearyou!" "You can't hear me." " Shark!" " Shark!" "Shark!" " Shark!" " Shark!" "Nnhh!" "All right." "All right." "All right." "All right, all right, all right, all right." "Now, before i start, there's-- there'sjust a couple of things you have to remember." "Number one, you have to remain calm." "Right?" "And number 2, you have to show no fear." "Teach it." "Teach it." "Because the sharks-- you see, the sharks, they can sense that fear... just as easily as they can sense blood." "And so it went for me... just as i knew it would, just as nature had ordained." "it's...jaw..." "wide open." "Row upon row ofthese razor-sharp teeth, glinting underwater like jagged diamonds." "its tail fin sweeping back and forth as it surged in for the kill." "i swear to God... my whole life" "Really. i had nothing left to offer except for pure reflex, pure reflex and mankind's basic drive for survival that somehow shouts, " No!" "i will not die today!"" "And at that instant, man, i knew it was either the shark or me." "The shark knew it." "i knew it." "But,jeez, God... it it's nothing personal, right?" "You know, it'sjust the way the world works." "Right?" "it's nature." "But if i remember correctly... in that last glimmer of its eyes, there was a moment between us... where he said, " Hey, Richard, man..."" ""enjoy your dinner."" "Uhh!" "Aah!" "Strange thing, killing a shark." "isn't it, Richard?" "Just a big fish, Bugs." "Just a big fish?" "Yeah, maybe." "Maybe when it's just a baby and it hasn't really learned to kill yet, then maybe it's just a big fish." "But when it's a great white angry mother with a taste ofhuman blood on its tongue, now, that's a different story." "Oh, God,jeez... i'm--i'm sorry, bugs." "is it just me, or does this wet weather make everyone so damn tired?" "Jeez, maybe we can hear your very different, and i'm sure very interesting, story some other time, huh?" "Very interesting." "Keaty." "Vero interessanto." "Tim." "Hygie." "Molto interessante." "Good night, young lovers." "Shut up." "Good night." "For a while, we were untouchable in our happiness." "All right, everybody." "Quiet." "We have a situation." "it's not a disaster, but as some of you may have heard, a couple of sacks of rice have become contaminated by a fungus." "That's 'cause we keep it in that shack." "How many more times does this have to happen?" "Rice run." "Which means that someone will have to come to Koh Pha Ngan with me to buy some more rice." "So don't all volunteer at once." "Richard?" "Yeah?" "Are you gonna come to Koh Pha Ngan with me?" "i don't know." "i mean-- i'll go with you." "Don't worry, Bugs." "Richard's gonna come, aren'tyou?" "Am i?" "Who thinks Richard should come?" "All right." "Then i'll go to Koh Pha Ngan with you." "Good." "i want a toothpaste and-- and a toothbrush, yeah?" "All right." "Ahem." "A new pair of swim trunks and a new hat." "Richard... 100 aspirin, 100 paracetamol," "6 packs of tampons... and 4 double a batteries and 20 condoms." "Make it 40 condoms." "And a bottle of vodka." "6 bars of chocolate..." "Oh, fuck this." "4 boxes of tampons, assorted sizes." "Smell it." "it's a part of me." "i am becoming a fish, Richard." "Ordinary soap for ordinary people is a waste of time." "i need something toxic, something industrial. okay?" "Okay." "A tin of beef curry." "Yummy." "Yummy." "As many triple-a batteries as you can find, right?" "And a copy of... the Daily Telegraph." "Just for the cricket, you know?" "Oh." "Please fill this bag with a soft bog roll." "Soft bog roll?" "Jasmine tea, tiger balm, lip balm, tea tree oil... a big box of bleach." "Hair conditioner, skin conditioner... anything based on sugar." "12 packs of rizla... cumin, saffron, cinnamon... antiperspirant, and makeup remover." "Ahem." "What do you want?" "Aah!" "Oww!" "When you get to Koh Pha Ngan, keep your hands to yourself and your dick in your pants." "Haah, haa haa, haah..." "Ohh...shit." "Oh, shit." "i'd really been looking forward to air conditioning and some cold beer, but when we got to Koh Pha Ngan... i just wanted to leave again." "And in one moment, i understood more clearly than ever why we were so special... why we kept our secret... because if we didn't, sooner or later, they'd turn it into this." "Cancers... parasites... eating up the whole fucking world." "A couple months." "Maybe a year, even." "Yeah, really." "No. i like it out here, you know?" "Things are different." "are different!" "Yeah." "No. i'll call again." "i'll call again." "i promise." "Okay." "All right, i miss you, too." "All right." "Okay." "All right, bye." "Bye." "So, how does it feel to be back in the real world?" "it's not like i remembered it." "it gets worse every time." "it is Richard!" "Damn!" "God!" "How ya doing, man?" "Good to see ya." "Oh, Sammy, come on over, man!" "Yo, Ricardo." "What's up, bro?" "Girls, i want you to meet the man!" "He's the man." "Hil und Eva, deisem is Richard." "The man with the map." "Dermensch mit den wanderkarte?" "Yo, yo, rich." "They're gonna come with us, bro." "They're coming with us." "Sorry it's been so long, but, you know, we're just chillin' out." "You know how it is, right?" "Listen, guys." "i--i made a mistake." "Mistake?" "What mistake?" "What are you talking about?" "No." "Listen to me." "There is no beach." "i can't believe to see you, dude." "There's no beach?" "Yeah." "No." "Seriously, the map thing?" "it was--it was fake." "it was just like you said, dude." " it was a story." " Right." "No!" "it's--it's a myth." "Really." "i-it doesn't exist." " Come on." " The map," " it was a fake." " Yeah, yeah." "Do you understand what i'm saying?" "You wouldn't be holding out on us, would ya?" "Let me guess." "it's a fucking paradise!" "it doesn't exist." "Oh, man... what are you talking about?" "i think, you know, Zeph, he'sjust tryin' to fuckwith-- i'm trying to tell you to forget it!" "All right, asshole!" "Well, that's the last time i buy you a fuckin' beer." "So you told them where you were going?" "Yeah." "And they saw the map?" "Mm-hmm." "Do they have a copy?" "No." "Okay." "Well, we can relax for a bit." "i doubt they have it in them to get there, anyway." "But, Richard, i don't think we should tell anybody about this." "Okay?" "i think we should keep it between you and me." "Thanks." "Don't mention it." "Whew." "Well, i'm going to go and play a couple of games of pool with Sumet." "Sumet?" "Snook?" "So, why don'tyou go and warm the bed?" "Come on." "Sal?" "Sal?" "Mm-hmm?" "i just have a question." "it was very nice." "No." "That's not it." "it's about Bugs." "Okay." "it's like this." "Bugs is my boyfriend... my partner." "Okay?" "And you are someone i just had sex with." "All right?" "Oh, th-that's fine." "That's absolutely fine." "Good." "Now get some sleep." "i maywish to have sex again before we eat breakfast." "it was a deal." "She wouldn't tell anyone about the map." "i had paid for her silence and bought my ticket back." "But i didn't even want to think about the real price." "All right, Rich, we're ready to heave!" "Okay!" "Got it, Keaty?" "Yeah!" "No probs." "Problem solved." "All right, here's your bleach." "Who got the makeup remover?" "i have 2 of'em." "Extra!" "Extra!" "Oh, Richard, man!" "i love you!" "One pretty little pink bag for you." "Oh, great!" "Lovely." "Did you get batteries?" "Right here." "Yes!" "* i can see my pretty girl *" "Richard:" "That's all for you." "Hey, Ricardo!" "Grazie." "One tin of beef curry!" "One... disposable camera." "i know it's not as good as the one you left behind, and you'll probably have to wait a while for the prints, but what the hell, right?" "No, it doesn't matter." "i like it." "What's wrong?" "How was it?" "The rice run?" "Fine." "No problem." "i mean being with Sal." "Fine. i mean, we got along okay." "Some people say she's attracted toyou." "Shit. i... i really wouldn't have noticed that." "Nothing happened?" "No, of course not." "You promise?" "Richard:" "i was so happy to be back that i couldn't bear to spoil the moment." "Yes." "Yes, i promise." "i missed you." "Okay, come on, everybody!" "Come on, please!" "Come on, please." "All together." "Close together." "Please." "Okay, close together." "Okay, stand back there, please." "Okay." "So 1 ...2...3!" "Richard: so i started just where i'd left off." "it was almost like my trip to Koh Pha Ngan never happened." "Almost." "Shark!" "Shut up, you fucker!" "My leg." "My leg." "We can take you to the hospital, all right?" "We can do that." "But when you're there, you mustn't tell anybody where this happened." "All right?" "We have to keep our secret." "What's he saying?" "He says that we are to bring help here for him." "He won't go near the water." "Yeah, well, i understand that, but we can't bring anybody here." "We can't do that." "Bring help!" "You gotta bring help!" "We can't, Christo!" "You have to go, oryou stay here and take your chances." "Anyone disagree?" "What is he saying?" "He wants to know what happened to his friend." "Keaty:" "We're gathered here today to say our last respect to Sten." "May God take your soul, and you will rest forever in peace, mate." "We'll miss ya." "Yorgesca de from Christo and me." "Repost i im pace, from Lorenzo." "* Old pirates, yes, they rob i *" "* Sold i to the merchant ships *" "* Minutes after they took i *" "* From the bottomless pit *" "*And my hand was made strong *" "* By the hand ofthe almighty*" "*We forward in this generation *" "*Triumphantly*" "*Won'tyou help to sing *" "All: *These songs offreedom *" "* 'Cause all i ever had *" "* Redemption songs *" "* Redemption songs *" "Richard:" "After the funeral, we all tried to get back to normal..." "But it just didn't seem right." "Pretty soon, it became clear that the problem was Christo." "Man:" "Shut up!" "You see, in a shark attack, or any other major tragedy, i guess, the important thing is to get eaten and die-- in which case, there's a funeral, and somebody makes a speech," "and everybody says what a good guy you were-- or get better, in which case, everyone can forget about it." "i can't take this." "please." "Get better or die." "it's the hanging around in between that really pisses people off." "Listen to me." "You can't do this." "This is disgusting." "Take him back." "Fucking animals." "What are you doing this for?" "Huh?" "Tell me." "How can you do this?" "Richard?" "Fucking bastards!" "Bastards." "it would be a lot easier to condemn our behavior if it hadn't been so effective, but out of sight really was out of mind." "Once he was gone, we felt a whole lot better." "On the beach, it's easy to turn your back, but not always so easy to forget." "Pay them in dollars, fuck their daughters, and turn it into wonderland, Richard." "Richard, come with me." "Sal: is that or is that not a map she's holding?" "And did you or did you not make that copy?" "You know, the lying doesn't bother me, but that map is trouble." "The farmers, right?" "You remember, those men with guns." "They said to us-- They told us-- no more people." "And now it looks like we're handing out fucking tour guides." "Sal, i mean... we could explain, right?" "i mean, we could tell 'em it was Daffy." ""We could explain."" "i want you up here every day until those people come." " Here?" "!" " Yes, here." "And when they come, i want you to get the map back." "Okay?" "Whatever happens, you get the map back." "W-w-wait, Sal." "Wait." "Sal, take a look at this." "i mean, they could be there forweeks." "That's right, and you'll be here waiting for them." "W-what am i supposed to do when they actually get here?" "Get the map!" "You drew it." "You handed it out." "Now you get it back and turn them away!" "Sal!" "Sal!" "Are you gonna tell everyone else what i did?" "Now, this was truly a pain in the ass." "i mean, i didn't want these people to come here any more than Sal did, but what exactly did she expect me to do?" "Chase them away?" "Threaten them?" "i mean, with what?" "By the time these kids got here, i'd probably have starved to death." "Sal?" "Sal, is that you?" "Get that light out of my" "You're a pig!" "Damn it!" "What the fuck was that for?" "Look, there's nothing i could do." "i have to stay up here!" "Not that, okay?" "What is it, then?" "You and Sal in Koh Pha Ngan." "Oh, that." "Yes, that!" "She has told everyone, and me, i'm the last one to find out!" "At least she believes in honesty, not like you." "i mean, Francoise, i..." "Wh-what can i say?" "Nothing." "There is nothing you can say." "Thank you." "Thank you for making my life just perfect!" "Super!" "God damn it!" "Shit!" "You are such an idiot!" "even though i knew it would happen, i was crushed." "And i guess i deserved it." "i mean, i could have given her all the excuses she wanted, but it still wouldn't have made any difference." "Great!" "Great!" "At first, i thought i was gonna die up here, that my entire world was gonna end." "But it didn't." "in fact, pretty soon, i found that there were plenty of other things to keep me occupied, and before i knew it, i found that love-- like grief-- tends to fade away and be replaced by something more exciting." "And life up on the hill turned out to be a big improvement." "i mean, up here, i could do whatever i wanted." "There was no fishing duty, no gardening shit, no hassle from Bugs or Etienne or Francoise." "i was playing my own game now, and i had absolutely no reason to go back." "Okay, so i was just foolin' around... but the longer i stayed away from the community, the less i missed them." "And i found new players, even if they didn't know it yet." "this forest was my territory... retrieving the map, my mission... and these, my defenders." "i was the only one with the overview ofhow it all fitted together:" "the island... me... them... the invaders." "All connected, all playing the same game." "And at the center of it all, one man." "Daffy." "inside!" "Take a look, Richard!" "Viruses, Richard!" "Cancers!" "The big, chunky charlie's eating up the whole world!" "Right there!" "Down on the beach!" "Down on the street!" "Pay them in dollars and fuck their daughters!" "it starts with 4, Richard!" "4, but they multiply!" "They multiply!" "it's time to stop them!" "Year zero, kiddo!" "Year zero!" "Areyou with me or against me?" "i'm with you all the way, Daffy!" "Whoo-hoo!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Richard?" "Yeah." "Where you been, man?" "What are you doing sitting in the dark?" "improving my night vision." "What for, man?" "You know who i think about a lot?" "i have no idea." "Daffy." "Daffy?" "Uh-huh." "i admire him." "You hardly knew him." "True... but he had a certain style." "Come here." " Now." "Fucking come here!" "Get in there." "They're talking about you." "He does no work in the garden." "But he steals our food." "i'm sure ofit." "You hear that?" "You hear what they're saying?" "idle, sponging, useless prick!" "Now get your fucking act together, Richard, man." "You can't do this." "You can't run around in the dark not talkin' to nobody." "What you think you're playin' at, man?" "What's happened toyou?" "You was all right." "Just a couple of weeks ago, you was fine, and now what the fuck is going" "Look at you." "And you're talking about Daffy?" "Daffy was a nutter, right?" "He went up there, and he lost it." "He's gone." "Richard." "Richard." "Do you hear what i'm saying toyou?" "Don't lose it like him." "Do you understand what i'm saying?" "Don't go there." "Stay with us." "Co-come back, Rich." "These are good people." "They don't talk about people all the time." "They're talking about you because you're fucked up." "All right?" "Don't do this, man." "i got it under control." "And now it looks like we're handing out fucking tour guides!" "Mushroom, Richard?" "No, thank you, Daffy." "i don't need any help to see the writing on the wall." "i'm very glad to hear that, Richard." "Got to keep my head clear." "You know what i mean?" "Getting closer." "Any day now." "Year zero?" "That's the spirit, kiddo." "You know something?" "You led the way, Daffy." "You showed me the truth." "But it doesn't matter what i think anymore." "it's up to you now." "i won't let you down." "Hey, Richard." "No offense, but, uh" "You're fucked in the head, right?" "it's been real nice knowing you, Daffy." "We're on patrol in the delta." "Search and destroy." "We're not making any contact." "So the lieutenant, he says to me:" "You get out there and draw their fire!" "it's never gonna happen, sir." "Are you refusing an order, son?" "it certainly looks that way, sir." "Yeah, it looks that way, sir!" "My M-1 6just went off, man." "it just went off." "What are we waiting for?" "Let's go!" "Whoo-hoo!" "There's no other explanation, man!" "We're in dope heaven!" "* i smoke 2 joints in the morning * * i smoke 2 joints at night * * i smoke 2 joints in the afternoon *" "*And then i feel all right * * i smoke 2 joints in times of peace *" "*And 2 in times ofwar* * i smoke 2 joints before i smoke 2 joints * * and then i smoke 2 more *" "Hi." "Oh, shit." "We're Americans." "Tourists." "American." "We, uh, we--we had a map, and we-- we came here, but we made a mistake." "We made a mistake, and--and we're sorry." "We'll go now." "Come on." "Um, we just want-- we just want to go." "Give 'em something, dude." "Give them some money." "Look!" "American dollars!" "i've got American dollars." "You want American money?" "Here." "You can have them." "Hey, hey, hey." "Um... i've got-- i've got my watch." "it plays a tune." "This is our sixth year." "Yeah!" "i want to look ahead... because i see that beyond any problems that we might have had, right-- beyond any problems that we might have-- that we have so much here to inspire us." "and i'm notjust talking about the island." "i'm talking about you." "You are what makes this place work." "And it does." "i tried to remember the person i used to be, but i just couldn't do it..." "To the island!" "To you!" "and so long as i stayed here... to the future!" "i'd never find him again." "Come with me." "i've got to talk to you." "Listen, i've got to talk to you!" "Stop!" "Listen to me!" "i've got-- i've got to talk to you!" "Stop!" "Francoise, listen!" "i've got to talk" "Stop!" "God damn it!" "Stop!" "Stop it!" "Stop it!" "Stop it!" "Stop!" "i'm not gonna hurt you!" "All right?" "it's just me." "it's just me--Richard." "Remember?" "The guy who can't play soccer." "The guy without a girlfriend." "Remember?" "i've just been away for a while." "That's all." "That's all." "Listen." "Etienne, i really fucked up." "4 people are dead." "i don't know what else they're gonna do, but we have to leave now." "That's it." "Just the 3 of us." "Just like before." "Richard... i can't leave him." "Then, we'll take him with us." "But look at him." "Look at him, Richard." "We can't move him." "it's gangrene." "it's spreading." "He's gonna die." "Wait for me at the boat." "Christo had suffered because we wouldn't let anything spoil our fun." "in the perfect beach resort, nothing is allowed to interrupt the pursuit ofpleasure." "Not even dying." "Do you think i want to hurt you?" "i'm a farmer." "That's all." "Understand?" "i work." "i send the money to my family." "if too many people come to this island, it's trouble for me." "i can't work, i can't send the money, and my family don't eat." "i said no more people, but more people come." "And you." "You give them the map!" "Now, you all go home." "Forget this island." "Forget about Thailand." "Understand?" "Huh?" " Yeah." " Yeah." " Yeah." " Yeah." "No." "What?" "No." "We're not leaving." "This is our home, too." "This is our house." "We built it with our own hands, and we are not leaving." "Oh, Sal." "Sal." "i think-- i thinkyou're making a big mistake here." "Really." "if he says that we should leave" "Richard, shut up!" "This is all your fault, anyway." "You copied the map, Richard." "You are a clever boy." "The one who sneak around." "You steal from us," "Let him go!" "Ugh!" "play with guns, and you bring people here." "if you want to stay." "if you want to stay." "Sal." "Sal." "Fuck." "Sal, no!" "Sal." "Listen." "Don't be crazy, okay?" "You can't!" "Don't be crazy, Sal." "Put the gun down." "You let us down, Richard." "You brought us trouble." "You can't, Sal." "Make her stop!" "Make her stop!" "You need to help!" "You need to help me!" "You fucking bastards!" "Come on, Sal." "Please, Sal." "You can't do it." "You can't do it, Sal." "Fuck!" "'Cause if you pull that trigger, Sal-- if you pull that trigger, it's all fucking over, and you know it." "Come on." "'Cause this time..." "This time, it's not like Christo rotting out in the woods where no one could see." "it's not like the 4 people that i saw killed today." "This time, everyone has to watch, Sal." "Everyone has to see what it takes to keep our little paradise a secret." "Come on, everyone, watch!" "Shut up." "Everyone watch Sal do this." "Yeah, go on, Sal, do it." " Come on." " Do it." "Come on, do it, yeah." "Let 'em see the blood this time, huh?" "Huh?" "Let's see if they can take it." "God!" "They can take it." "No!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "No!" "Come on." "Hold on to me." "Game over, but she was never gonna leave." "She believed in it all way too much to ever change, so that's exactly where we left her." "*We sailed over 7 seas *" "* Searchin' for that missing' key*" "* Unlockin' you *" "*The world's harmony*" "* i climbed the highest mountain range *" "*And then we took the longest... *" "And as for the rest ofus... we carried away our sins and made ourway back to wherever it was that we called home... to pick up the pieces of what ever was waiting." "Of course, you can never forget what you've done." "But we adapt." "We carry on." "* i hear the rhythm in the river's run *" "*And blinding, fainting desert sun *" "* Hear them today*" "*They all are strong *" "*And distant forces in the far-off sky *" "* Led us to that elusive place *" "*To the new sound * * i will testify*" "Can i getyou anything?" "No, thanks." "* Na na-na na... *" "And me?" "i still believe in paradise." "But now at least i know it's not some place you can look for." "Because it's not whereyou go." "it's how you feel for a moment in your life when you're a part of something." "And if you find that moment... it lasts forever." "* God knows, you lonely souls *" "* God knows, you lonely souls *" "* God knows, you lonely souls *" "*Yeah, yeah *" "* i believe *" "*There's a time *" "*And a place *" "*To letyour mind drift *" "*And get out ofthis place * * i believe *" "*There's a day*" "*And a place *" "*That we will go to *" "*And i know you wanna share *" "*There's no secret to livin' *" "* Secret to livin' *" "*Just keep on *" "*Walkin' *" "*There's no secret to dying' *" "*There's no secret to dying' *" "*Just keep on *" "* Flyin' * * i'm gonna die in *" "*A place that don't know *" "* My name * * i'm gonna die in *" "*A space that don't hold *" "* My name *" "*Walkin' in the cold *" "*Just keep on *" "* Flyin' *" "* God knows, you lonely souls *" "* God knows, you lonely souls *" "* God knows, you lonely souls *" "* God knows, you lonely souls *" "*Yeah *" "*Yeah *" "*Yeah *" "*Yeah *" "*Yeah * * i'm a lonely soul *" "* 'Cause we are lonely souls *" "* 'Cause we are lonely souls *" "* Lonely souls *" "* Lonely souls *" "* Lonely souls * * i'm a lonely soul *" "* So alone * * in the shadows *" "* Pack up your light *" "* Pack up your light *" "* Say good-bye to the whole world *" "* Light *" "* i *" "* Need you now * * i *" "*Am lonely*" "* Don't you need me?" "*"