"FEAR(S) OF THE DARK" "I'm scared of having a hard time proving the superiority of Western civilization to an Afghan villager watching TV with me." "I'm scared of being invited one day, at the last minute, by friends of friends, to dine on long, plump, white worms wriggling on the plate." "Or grilled flying grasshoppers." "Or snake roasted in its gravy." "The pain wakes me up." "It's almost time for my medication." "Daylight." "Another day." "It looks cold out there." "Cold and cloudy." "When I was young, it seemed like it was always cold." "We lived up north, in the country." "Nobody around for miles." "I was always on my own, so I had to find ways of entertaining myself." "I'd go exploring in the woods, looking for interesting plants and animals." "And insects." "I had a real fascination for insects." "Mum didn't like me bringing home specimens." "She thought they were dirty and disgusting." "Eric, is that you?" "Dinner's almost ready." "Okay, Mum." "I'll be right there." "Even though she hated my bug collection and other stuff," "Mum encouraged my interest in science and allowed me to set up a workspace in my room... my lab." "For me, it was a sanctuary." "I spent hours there, working on experiments, examining my specimens." "Eric, come down here!" "Come on!" "Coming, Mum!" "I don't know why, but I hid the jar under the bed." "Eric!" "I guess I didn't want Mum finding it." "After dinner," "I rushed up to my room." "But it was gone." "I searched all over for my little specimen." "Finally, I gave up." "It took me a long time to settle down." "Over the years," "I'd periodically heard the same sound, like something moving, scratching deep within my bed." "That bed..." "I took it to college with me." "I found a small apartment for myself near the campus." "I didn't want any roommates..." "They'd be too distracting." "All I wanted was a nice, quiet place to study." "To be honest, after all those years in isolation," "I found it hard to socialise, especially with girls." "Oh, no!" "Look at that loser!" "Hey, buddy!" "What's your problem?" "Why don't you take a picture?" "It'll last longer!" "They were so beautiful and alluring." "But impossible to make contact with." "Excuse me..." "That's why I was so surprised when Laura stepped into my life." "I didn't mean to bother you, aren't you in Schermann's Biology class?" "Yeah, I..." "Yeah, I noticed you, always so serious, with your nose in your books, taking thousands of notes." "I missed the last lecture." "Can I borrow your notes?" "Sure, I..." "I have them right here." "Thanks, that's so cool!" "I won't need them long." "Oh, my name's Laura." "Eric." "My name is Eric." "Thanks again, Eric." "Bye now!" "Hi, Laura, this is Eric." "No." "Not too fast." "Laura?" "This is Eric." "From Biology class." "What am I doing?" "Hello?" "Laura?" "This is Eric." "From Biology class." "Hi, Eric!" "Your notes are great." "You need them back already?" "Actually, I..." "I was calling to ask if you want to see a movie or..." "A movie?" "Okay, cool." "Really?" "Are you sure?" "Sure, I'm sure." "What time's the movie?" "You understand now, don't you?" "Understand what?" "That you're mine." "You're all mine." "Oh, Jack!" "Yes!" " Yes!" " Yeah, that's right." "You belong to me completely." "Jack!" "What are you doing?" "Don't fight it." "Don't fight it, I said." "I didn't pay much attention to the movie." "I was content just to be sitting next to Laura." " No!" " Yes!" "I loved that!" "It was so sweet and romantic!" "Real life should be like that." "Let's stop for a drink." "So good!" "Vodka gives me shivers all over." "I had shivers just looking at her." "And when she leaned over and kissed me," "I just about died." "I'm ready for another." "How about you?" "Yes, sure." "I wasn't used to bars or drinking." "But I didn't want Laura to think I was a square." "There, I like it when you smile!" "You've got cute little dimples." "I felt I was being swept along in a dream" "I had no control over." "It was a dream" "I wanted to last forever and ever." "Nice and cozy." "Let's see..." "When she asked to go back to my place..." "What's in here?" "I heard myself saying yes." "What a cute little bed!" "A little cowboy bed!" "Wanna play cowboys and Indians?" "I know it's stupid but..." "I couldn't afford a new one." "I never said it was stupid." "I'm just teasing!" "You are so serious!" "Come over here." "Let's see you get serious with me." "Playing hard to get?" "Maybe you need a little encouragement." "Wake up!" "You're hurt!" "You've cut your arm!" "Good morning." "Don't I get a wake-up kiss?" "I'll be right back." "I'll get you a bandage." "Don't worry, you'll be okay." "The wound looked so deep and awful." "I didn't understand how she could be so calm." "I'll be very careful." "If it hurts or if I wrap it too tight, just tell me, okay?" "There..." "That should hold you for now." "If you get dressed, I can take you to the hospital." "I don't need a doctor." "I need you." "A little kiss will make everything better." "Come here..." "I won't bite." "See?" "That wasn't so bad, was it?" "Right..." "If you're sure about the doctor, maybe we should go to class." "It's so cozy right here with you." "I don't feel like going anywhere." "It took me a long time to get to class that day." "By the time I got home that night..." "I was completely exhausted." "Hi there!" "I was hoping you'd show up soon." "Dinner's ready." "I figured after studying all day, you'd like some home cooking." "That..." "That looks great." "She was acting kind of weird, but did I want to do anything about it?" "No..." "I finally had a girlfriend." "A beautiful, sexy girl... who seemed to actually like me." "For a while, it was nice..." "Really nice." "But as the days went by, there was a shift..." "I really need to finish this chapter." "I have a Biology exam tomorrow." "What?" "What did I say?" "I just want to know one thing..." "What's more important to you?" "Me or all your stupid little books?" "Things just got worse." "Worse and worse." "She stopped attending classes." "She seemed to have no friends or interests except me." "She only ever left the apartment for groceries." "Food..." "It seemed her primary focus in life was cooking rich, heavy food for me." "She was also changing physically." "You're mine!" "She was stronger." "You're all mine!" "More muscular." "You're my little bitch, aren't you?" "You're mine forever." "Yes!" "You're mine!" "One day, when I came home and found she'd cut off all her long, beautiful hair..." "I knew the end was near." "Here, I made you a nice drink." "Thanks, but I'm not really thirsty." "I made it just for you." "Come over here and drink it." "Now!" "You don't need to get sore." "Finally decide to wake up?" "Calm down." "Don't worry." "This will only take a second." "What's taking them so long?" "The pain is getting worse." "And the heat." "It's always too hot in here." "I just want my medicine." "I just want... to go back to sleep." "I know it can't be like before." "All that's over." "Gone forever." "I just wish she still liked me..." "Or at least pretended to." "I'm scared of dying under torture, from cancer, in a road accident..." "What's the right way?" "I'm not sure." "While making love?" "I'll need to put out an ad 'cos recently..." "If it's good, I'll want more." "If it's dull, it's no way to go." "No, I refuse, period." "Death." "What an outrage!" "I don't want to show deference." "Or go with a bang." "For there to be, after all that, so little..." "Nothing, nothing without nothing." "I can't." "I refuse." "I'm scared of being totally unaware politically." "Maybe I'm deluding myself." "Maybe I'm rightwing?" "Or even worse?" "Recently, I'm never short of a good argument not to take sides, not to get involved." "But I am increasingly susceptible to conservative arguments." "Don't rock the boat." "Young people lack respect." "Make the most of what you've earned." "I'm moving centre-left." "I'm scared of mediocrity." "I'd prefer to be bad than mediocre." "Going unnoticed is the worst fate." "But I refuse to be pure." "Pure is a threat to us." "An unscrupulous Messiah will come to wash us whiter than white." "Right down to our vices, down to the bone." "Don't poke your nose into the big cleanup." "We welcome a new student today." "Introduce yourself." "Ayakawa Sumako." "I will try to be a good student." "Where do you live?" "The old house near the waterfall." "The old house behind the cemetery?" "I live there with my mother." "We used to live in London, where my father..." "Hajime, Hajime, Where are you, Hajime?" "Here comes a stranger..." "Children!" "Wait till you meet Hajime!" "Be quiet!" "Who is samurai Hajime?" "It's an old legend, Sumako-san." "Samurai Hajime died over 100 years ago." "He's buried in our cemetery." "You'll meet him." "He chops up strangers!" "That's enough!" "Sumako, you can sit down now." "Michio, if you're so smart, can you tell me why Hajime was executed?" "No, you don't know." "Knucklehead!" "None of you know?" "We'll make it today's lesson." "Turn to page 100." "Sumako, can you read the text next to the illustration?" ""Samurai Hajime of the Satsuma clan" ""was sentenced to seppuku, ritual suicide," ""after he attacked and chopped up a British officer" ""on the Tokaido road in the year 1865," ""in the Edo period."" "We were waiting for you." "We are the descendants of samurai Hajime." "You remember?" "You're really pathetic." "Yeah?" "Really?" "You dare laugh at us?" "You should be careful, Sumako." "This is how we treat newcomers here." "Stop!" "Mercy!" "C'mon, sweeties, tickle her all over." "Now, now, that's no good, Sumako-chan." "You mustn't wake up like that, halfway through." "You have to see your dream through to the end." "You must sleep, Sumako-chan." "Sleep..." "HAJIME" "Is anyone there?" "Those idiots are trying to scare me." "You're so dumb!" "Don't bother hiding, I saw you!" "The tomb of samurai Hajime." "Leaving us so soon?" "The samurai won't be long." "Apparently, you don't enjoy our company." "Stay a while." "You won't be disappointed." "And the samurai will be delighted..." "Stop!" "Now, now, don't get upset, Sumako." "You look stressed out." "You seemed so dismissive of ghosts." "Tomoko?" "Michio?" "You're going to die!" "Stop!" "Sumako!" "Michio!" "Sumako's brain" "Is that you Sumako-chan?" "How was your first day?" "So, Sumako-chan, did you get to the end this time?" "That's no good." "You have to see your dream through to the end... if you want to be cured." "Cured..." "I'm scared of helping to wreck the planet and not having the courage to act." "I don't know what to do." "I do nothing, so I'm scared." "I'm scared, so I do nothing." "I absolutely have to do something." "I have lots of little fears in my head, going everywhere with me, fencing me in." "Paralyzing me!" "Exist?" "Sure, which way?" "Inside?" "Outside?" "Up?" "Down?" "I'm scared of mankind." "They say man is a wolf for man." "But wolf isn't a man for wolf." "Wolves don't devour wolves." "But mankind..." "Now, there's the dangerous animal." "Exterminate animals." "Pick flowers." "Massacre their own kind." "Knock off the intellectuals, proles, pure and impure, on impulse, under duress, the influence or orders." "A fuddled brain and do it, man!" "And women are getting in on the act at every level now." "Woman is the future of man." "So, smack you up, asshole." "I know my rights." "Self-defense." "Pre-emptive action." "I wound up by chance in a region where I spent many summers as a boy." "The great plains." "One of those summers had been particularly strange." "Everything began with my Uncle's disappearance." "He had gone poaching at night, but his boat was found washed up on the riverbank." "It was empty." "Every evening, my Aunt went to church to pray for him." "I went along, too." "While she wept," "I slipped outside to play with my friend." "Most evenings, at the same time, the ducks left the marshes." "From their behavior, we could guess what the next few days held in store." "My friend, who didn't really have any family and spent his time playing in the fields, knew an infinite number of secrets about animals." "One evening, the last duck in the line had a broken wing." "According to my friend, it was the work of a wild beast on the loose." "And there was a chance that we'd end up facing it one day." "That night," "I slept clenching my eyes shut as hard as I could to stop nightmares from getting in." "Next morning, the police fished out a peasant's mutilated head." "A particularly atrocious crime." "Who could have done such a thing?" "My friend knew." "There are ferocious beasts that descend from the clouds." "One of them must be lurking in the marshes." "That evening, at my Aunt's house, nobody said a word." "And then, one afternoon, my friend disappeared as well." "The whole village joined the search." "The fog rose and rose..." "And I got lost." "Like in a dream." "His bicycle had been found, but that didn't put my mind at rest." "Night fell." "What I thought I had seen..." "Was that my friend?" "Or was it the monster?" "Unless, of course, they were one and the same creature?" "In the end, they decided to call in the local town's head gamekeeper." "For a man who'd explored mysterious African forests, wild beast or murderer made not the slightest difference." "He layed in wait for three days and nights in the church's bell tower." "When he came down, a savage odour hung over him." "He asked someone to fetch the plumpest goose in the village." "And he began setting his trap." "Women and children were kept away." "Nobody was allowed to make the slightest noise." "From that day on, nobody in the region disappeared." "Even so, my Uncle never returned." "Even so, my friend was never found." "At church, ever since, old women make offerings to the crocodile, claiming that it's to some saint or other that they light their candles." "Some time later," "I woke in the middle of the night." "It was my friend." "There was no doubt about it." "I was convinced I was right." "We never saw each other again." "The day I stopped by the village where the crocodile still hangs, this old story came back to me." "I didn't dare wait for darkness to overwhelm the countryside." "It was as if I was scared of seeing my friend again." "Who knows what other secrets he still kept?" "Who knows if he, too, hadn't descended from a cloud?" "I'm scared of looking down on people who are different." "As I can't accept myself as I am, that's a problem." "People who are like me, I find depressing." "And that gives me a bad self-image." "I'm scared of being irredeemably bourgeois." "I can't accept that." "How did I get that into my head?" "Rich and poor disgust me." "The middle-class exasperate me." "Help!" "Quickly!" "A monastery!" "Authenticity!" "Peace!" "Real peace, huh?" "No faking." "No wicker chairs, no Hollywood scientologist howling his love in Tibetan." "I'm scared of indigestion." "We stuff our faces like pigs." "That's right!" "Like pigs." "Kids!" "We'll leave the crust for you." "I'm scared of blushing when I buy groceries." "Sometimes, a chocolate mousse is so good!" "It's industrial maybe, but it's good." "And people with no money?" "Look at her!" "She buys only predigested food." "Go for it, girl!" "Support the agro-food chain!" "Can't you see it's a con?" "You see, I'm scared of never being useful." "For example, proving to a racist, a single, tiny racist, that it's vile, stupid and not nice to be racist." "I tried once or twice, gently." "Difficult to contain oneself, to stick to being the open-minded democrat who still stands firm on core values." "He looks at me blankly." "I'm making no impression." "I can only preach to the converted." "Help!" "Cicero!" "Louise Michel!" "Montesquieu!" "Martin Luther King!" "Benetton!" "I'm scared of being nice." "It's horrible being nice." "How was life for you?" "Nice."