"Come, Lode!" "Today is your day." "All you need is drop your pants in front of thousands of people, that job is yours!" "It all started 25 years ago, when Ronny the plumber was going to repair our toilet's pub." "My mother was still in bed." "It was a tough evening." "She didn't have drinking problems." "But don't underestimate a manageress's life." "She just had forgotten that Ronny would come." "She came into panic, and called officer Georges." "Georges came regularly for a good conversation." "My mother supported him." "Come out with your hands up!" "But he had to support him too much." "It wasn't easy for him at home." "Georges had a tough Chinese wife." "They say that Chinese are willing wives, but here is often different." "Georges and Ronny had every chance you get, but they didn't, because his bullet flew." "All over the world the water causes disasters as the floods in Bangladesh, the Amoco Cádiz..." "Scientist discovered that is not the hole in the ozone that causes Global Warming, but Georges' bullet!" "The bullet entered Ronny's testicles and then flew reaching muy mom's belly." "She became pregnant I was born" "On my 7th birthday happened all." "My grandfathers present was a bicycle." "My grandpa always said, "You're only a real man if you can ride for a least 12 minutes"" "And my mom's present was a fish." "I squezeed it... and since then I pee my pants when I hear one!" "My mom was ashamed of me." "I got the nick: "The Asshole"." "The many doctors I visited told me" "I had hyperactive bladder." "That does not make you wiser in life." "It's not always easy such an ailment." "Finding a job was not easy." "Until I met Marcel." "Marcel is the best signalman I know." "He has a great general knowledge." "Recently he took an Internet course." "It's a hard life, work as a cyclist." "Why is that?" "They can't urinate on the bike." "Then I realized that I should be a cyclist!" "And I was not bad..." "I was a true hero!" "I got all the prizes." "From that time I won one race after another." "Omloop het Volk, Paris-Nice, Three Days of De Panne, Paris-Roubaix everything went without a hitch until I won the Tour de France." "I had to pass a doping test." "The nurse asked me to pee on the pot." "Big deal!" "For 25 years I pee 8 liters per day, that makes 240 liters per month and 3000 liters per year." "Then they dare to ask me to pee in a small pot." "Are you ready, Mr. Pinon?" "No, hold on!" "But I didn't managed." "I tried, but I couldn't." "Mr. Pinon?" "Was it because I was at the fountain on the Champs-Elysées and I still had to pee?" "I don't know..." "I know newspaper made fun of me." "Moreover, I was suspended by the federation." "I was desperate." "I turn the radio on and... in that moment Georges' bullet flew into my fuse-box." "And when I woke up I was as big as I am now." "All you need is drop your pants in front of thousands of people, that job is yours!"