"If ever reality overcomes fiction, if ever truth is unlikely, that would be in Intelligence matters, where the boldest and most incredible actions are prepared, developed and accomplished without public opinion suspecting their causes or importance." "You might find the new adventures of the Gorilla very surprising, but they're nonetheless based on historical realities in which the writer was personally involved." "This merciless fight between the secret agents of five foreign powers did indeed occur a few months ago in the industrial area called the Ruhr." "Spy networks included more than 2000 agents of every nationality in this area of Germany when our earthen science began to export its fury and noise to other planets!" "Up to now, a rocket sent into space couldn't come back to Earth." "The problem haunted our scientists for years." "Everyone knows that any object which escapes Earth's attraction goes on flying indefinitely into space." "That's what happened to several Sputniks, for instance." "In March of 1959, the Americans accomplished a remarkable feat, by bringing back the Snark rocket to its departure point." "But that rocket was incapable of escaping Earth's attraction." "The problem was therefore intact." "In our laboratories, a man, Professor Keibel, tackled the problem of sidereal void." "A problem, Gentlemen, which has just been solved." "This is a new victory of man over matter." "There we are..." "the poker game is starting." "And I'm happy to tell you that German science, dedicated to the noble ideal of international scientific collaboration, wants to share its wonderful secret with all scientists, with all nations in the world." "This is not possible?" "I now hand over to Professor Keibel again." "Gentlemen, dear colleagues, thank you for listening to me with such attention." "I now only ask a last effort from you in order to conclude." "If that is really the solution, he won't say it." "Professor Perrin did, in Geneva." "It concerned a French atom bomb that we couldn't built for lack of credit, so of course!" "E = 1/2 mv2 + the Einstein correction, which gives us..." "VK = #948;" "D, or L vector I + M vector J + N vector K, in other words the coordination vector..." "Long live Peace!" "Down with the missiles!" "Down with the atom bomb!" "As you said, it was too good to be true." "That was the opportunity." "You just had to flow with it." "Are you crazy?" "What about the shupos?" "The shupos?" "Don't make me laugh." " Your driver?" " He doesn't speak French." "Don't mind him." "Of course, the old-fashioned anarchist was one of your men?" "A sharpshooter." "You were in no danger, Professor Keibel." " You could have warned me." " Seriously, Professor, you weren't determined to give away your invention?" " I work for peace." " For German peace, Professor Keibel." "I understand." "You want to sell my invention, don't you?" "Sure." "Just like Volkswagen sell their cars for foreign money." "I can't exploit German inventions to serve our army anymore, so I sell them to serve our people." " All is fair in love and... peace,hmm?" " What about the conference?" "To stimulate the buyers." "We had to attract them." "Now, welcome to the highest bidder." "You'll stimulate them so well that they'll end up stealing your invention from you." "No, no, they won't." "I have a lot of people working for me, Professor." " A lot of people?" " To protect you." "And your invention." "I thought the allied powers forbade Germany to rebuild its secret services." "Be careful anyway, Professor, and not too distracted." "And take special care of your treasure." " It's Dad!" " Do you really think so?" " He won't be very pleased." " Why?" "You've got a lot of lipstick on your mouth." "Go away." "It will prevent trouble." "See you tomorrow." "Yes!" "Coming!" "This is stupid:" "I've got the wrong key again." "No, you're making progress." "You usually forget it altogether." "But I didn't forget you." "Here!" "And how is Wilhelm?" "Didn't he come today?" "No, I didn't hear from him." "Isn't that what you wanted?" "Is it the wrong colour?" "Good!" "I thought I goofed once more." "Look, Dad, I was wrong to lie to you, you're still too young." " Too young?" " Yes, too young as a father." "Wilhelm was here a moment ago." "Next time, tell him to stay:" "I'll offer him a glass of port." " Here, take this." " Shooting him wasn't necessary." " I shot at his legs." " Even at his legs, Bergère, it was noisy." "Oh, never mind." "As long as we bring back his briefcase, the Old Man doesn't care whether we're noisy or not." "What are you really expecting, Bergère?" "Bring the treasure to the Old Man, then go on holidays." " Another two small kilometres and we take a plane." " If we get there." "The cops!" "Can't you see them?" "Stop, for God's sake, stop!" "Bergère!" " I wouldn't dream of it." " Halt!" "Stop the car!" "Let's get out." "So he forced the road block?" "Another mess!" "There's never been anything else in Germany." "And, of course, when Bergère forced the road block, the shupos opened fire?" "Serves him right!" "A secret agent who's stupid enough to shoot then force a road block can use some time off." "Permanently." " That's what he did." " What?" "He had a... heroic death." "But I'm working with the living." "So, is it for tomorrow?" "Well... it's not bad." "It might even surprise you." "Well, at least that's something." " Yes?" " Is the path clear?" " Yes, mister Delegate." " So I can go up?" " Yes, mister Delegate." " Are you sure?" "If I tell you it's clear, it's clear." "Well?" "Thank you..." "Well, go on!" "Good morning!" "As you can see, there's no one here." "All is clear." " Well, mister Delegate?" " Bergère." "So they already know?" "The "Quai" is always informed first of diplomatic incidents." "Oh, Bergère is a diplomatic incident, then?" "Yes." "And a serious one to boot." "Berthomieux!" "The Ruhr is now off-limits." "That's the order I've been told to give you." " Oh, you mean the minister..." " Exactly." "We, the minister and I, order you..." "Oh, great!" "We order!" "We order!" "Just like King Louis the XIVth." "That's the way it is." "We stop everything." "I repeat, Berthomieux: it's an order!" "Tell me!" "What if I had Keibel's invention?" "Would you throw it in the wastebasket?" "I know you!" "You're bluffing with the best of them." " A habit that comes from the job." " Yes, yes, but what if I had it anyway?" "Do you allow me to talk about it?" " Yes." " You know that, if I do, things will go far?" "Well, bravo, great!" "You know that I like to go all the way!" "All right, I won't see you out, you know the way." "Well?" "Here is what Professor Keibel found:" "his final formula is..." "SO4H2." " Sulphuric acid." " And it makes you laugh?" "No, colonel." "It holds together at the beginning, then it veers in a way that I failed to understand immediately, it changes to chemistry, and at the end, what you find is sulphuric acid." "We've been tricked, colonel." "The German Intelligence Service is getting back on its feet." "Not bad, the idea of the conference, was it?" "The showing of the briefcase..." "The introduction of big-hearted Keibel... and lo!" "Launch the anarchist!" "The two of you have been properly tricked!" "Oh, God, I said I had the invention, I shall have it!" "Ah!" "This one!" "You're going back to Dusseldorf and find this bloke!" "He's probably in on it." "His name is Ted!" "Ted the Hook!" "He's an American!" "Since we don't have anything to work with, we'll finance people with means." "Big means." "Get it?" "Magnetic." "Convenient, isn't it?" "It's useless!" "I must start all over again!" "For God's sake!" "Give me all of the calculations, or I'm working for nothing." "Come on, Mike, that's of course impossible." "What with those stupid little secrets, we're wasting a hell of a time!" "We're not getting ahead!" "I've been working with you for six months." "And still you hide everything from me." "You mustn't get excited, Mike." "There's no reason." "Oh, you think there isn't?" "No reason?" " We're very satisfied with..." " Look, Dr. I'm a technician, you're not." "Things can't go on like this." "I can tell you I'm fed up with it." "More than fed up." "Either I'm informed of the Keibel project now or I drop out." "But, Mike, we've got deadlines to meet." "You can't leave us." "Do you think so?" "Well, go tell it to Dr. Lohn." "I shall, you can rely on me." "How did you dare have my briefcase removed from me?" " You really go too far." " I'll explain, Professor." "It's just been borrowed anyway and we took it from you in your own interest." " What?" "In my own interest?" " Yes." "Oh, please!" "I'm not dabbling in spying." " I hate it." " Spying!" "Why such a ugly word?" "It's advertising, or maybe a poker game." "What?" "Excuse me, I fail to understand." "Professor, you're a mathematician, aren't you?" "You're almost living outside the world." "You're an idealist." "But your briefcase, which I took from you, would have been stolen anyway, since the other one was." "Yes, there is another one, which I replaced yours with." "That one was stolen." "Yes, by a Frenchman." "But it's only the beginning." "The fight is going to become harder." "We'll see wolves coming out of the woods." " Englishmen, Russians, Americans." " Yours is a lovely job." "Still nice as ever." "Not all my eggs in the same basket." "Where do you think you are?" "Smoking is strictly prohibited here." "A lack of knowledge that could cost you plenty, Mr. Mike Frost." "A quarter past six." "Shouldn't he be out?" " You're late, Chubby!" " Hello, Hortense?" "Hortense?" "Will you come on the phone?" "Are you going to keep me waiting long?" "Hello?" "Hortense?" " Hello, yes, this is the godfather." " What the hell are you doing?" "I was waiting for my godson outside his high school but..." " I think he's in detention." " Was he naughty?" " I'm afraid he was." " Well, do something." "Go and see the principal." "I want to know why our boy was punished." "You want me to go and see the principal?" " Exactly." " But..." "Can you see these electrical ovens?" "They're appreciated throughout the world." "They destroy everything." "Everything that must disappear." "And what here, in your opinion, must disappear?" "Think well, Mike Frost." "It's really unlucky but a bloke named Mike Frost died in 1945 in a military hospital, in the American zone." "Everything becomes known eventually." "But, after all, where there's life, there's hope." "We can try and reach an agreement." "I guess you think so too, don't you?" "So I'm asking you a clear and precise question:" "do you think you're government could maybe buy Keibel's blueprints?" "How should I know?" "I'm, Mike Frost." "So you don't want to understand?" "I'm going to explain it all:" "every man has his habits, his gestures, his personal twitches." "The cleverest agent often betrays himself because of the tiniest thing." "A small but telling movement which unmasks him." "Do you see what I mean, Captain Ted Parker, a. k. a." "Ted the Hook," "American secret agent?" "Who was amputated of his left hand, just like the late Mike Frost?" "Well." "You have the floor..." "Ted..." "No, not that way, where are you going?" "When you're pursued, the best thing is to lose yourself in the crowd." "And the crowd is on the other side, through the other door." "Mike!" "What's your trouble tonight?" "Are you ill?" "A toothache." "I'll take a pill." " Tehran caviar?" "Authentic?" " Absolutely authentic, Sir." "This is genuine Tehran caviar." "Omelette flambé." "Really flambé?" "Why, certainly, Sir." "I'll prepare it in front of you." "There is still some blood here." "There you are." "It's gone." "And here is your omelette flambé, sir." "Pee?" "May I go pee?" " What did you do with your hook, Ted?" " I took it out." "Just like you did your sixth finger." "It was too conspicuous in our line of work." "But you still had it yesterday." "My antennas told me so." "Come on." "Give me what you took from Dr Lohn." "Give." "I'll give it back to you outside." " Just a small explanation." " He told you we were fighting." "If you don't mind: my shoelace." "Are you looking for something, Mr. Berthier?" "News from Germany." "French citizen, a travelling books salesman, arrested in unclear circumstances." "That would be funny." "Very funny if it were Berthier." "Instead of chuckling stupidly, call Villacoublay for me!" "Colonel Beauchamp." "Ask him if he's got a plane ready." " To Dusseldorf?" " No." "To Pau, in the Lower Pyrénées." "You intend to join the paratroopers again, Colonel?" "After Bergère, Berthier?" "I guess that tomorrow you'll tell us about the Gorilla." " He's just about ready." " That's it." "So now you make up a gorilla?" "You'd make up anything, just to avoid giving up." "That's pride!" "Yes, and pride will make me give Keibel's invention to France." "Your stubbornness is bordering on insubordination, Colonel." "I always keep my promises." "Even if I have to disobey to do so." "This time, Berthomieux, really, listen to me: stop it." "Stop it or there won't be anybody to cover for you anymore." "I don't need any cover." "You're still in charge because of the exceptional value of your services, although you've already reached the age limit since..." "What..." "What do you mean?" "That a new misdemeanor could bring your forced retirement, Colonel." "Misdemeanor... misdemeanor..." " Well, Villacoublay?" " It's ready, Colonel." "Good!" "Well..." "Retirement or no retirement," "I'll commit a new misdemeanor, and without your leave, Mr. Delegate." "Here, this is he, look at him!" "I hope he won't miss." "What the hell are you doing with the big dinghy?" "There's a civilian asking for you, "commandant"." "It's an emergency." " A civilian?" " And not a very young one." "He's got a thing here." "Oh, what bad weather!" "If I had known, I would have stayed up there." " How are you, Gorilla?" " How did you call me?" "About that very subject, I brought you something." "I'm no longer a member of the Secret Services." "As per your command." "My cover is blown everywhere, you explained that to me yourself." " Yes but things have changed." " Yes,and I changed too." "Here, things are clean." "It doesn't stink of corpses, do you get it?" "Boy scouts!" "A sportsman, aren't you?" "When you know what this is about..." "Well?" "Isn't it delicious?" "Do you want me to tell you something?" "I don't give a damn about your Sputnik." "And no need to make faces:" "count me out!" " Oh?" "Well, Berthier is doomed then." " He knew the risks." "Is that all you can say?" "Berthier is an old pal of yours, isn't he?" "Oh, please, colonel!" "Not to me!" "We can always get Berthier back if we really want to." " Oh, yeah?" " Yeah." "We sometimes do catch German agents, don't we?" "So through the diplomatic channels..." "Give me Berthier, I'll give you Fritz." "Do I have to explain everything?" "All in all, you're calling me a liar?" "More or less, yes." "With all due respect, of course." "And what if, this time, I was really running the risk to be retired?" "You'll go fishing." "Fishing on Sundays is great." "Fishing every day is too much." "You're right." "You must go to Dusseldorf." " So you're chickening out?" " No, you won't get me with your tricks anymore." "Do you want the truth?" "You sent me into fresh air!" "It grew on me." "What are you babbling about?" "I don't give a damn about Sputniks coming back to Earth." "Because I know very well that, in order to steal the invention from Dr Lohn, I'll have to use my hands." "This is the way it always end." "Yes, I know this is no fun but every trade has its drawbacks." "Well I'm tired of this trade." "I'm not Géo Paquet." "I'll stay an obscure lieutenant-commander in the commandos." "Right!" "The new gorilla salutes you." " So that's all?" " That's all." "There's one thing that you must get into your head." "This job must be done." "So, since you're chickening out, I'm going to do it." "That's it." "And if some misfortune befalls you because of your old age," " I'll be responsible?" " Exactly." "Great!" "Go!" "Go and have yourself arrested." "Have yourself tortured and all that jazz." "You've got your pill anyway." "What?" "It's a beautiful ending for an old man." "Say, you good soul." "If you feel any remorse, the address is Hortense in Dusseldorf." "You know her anyway." "Hey, the old one has guts!" "Hey, don't step on my toes, you!" " Tomorrow's weather." " Can we jump?" " Can't say yet." " That's it, as usual:" "we'll be told once we're up there." " And what did you eat, this morning?" " Leathery meat." "Old leathery meat." "Oh, that man came for you then?" " He was a big wig." " Why?" "He made me ask for the "Espace" and we got it immediately." "It's rather uncommon." "The old fart asked for the "Espace"?" "To where?" "To Dusseldorf." "Such a mess." "We had to ask for the air lanes." "There are queuing orders." "Usually it never works." "With your big shot, it worked immediately." "Well, let him go to Dusseldorf." "And let him croak there." "Oh, here you are at last!" "How are you?" " Nothing new since the phone call?" " Nothing." "Did you see anything interesting?" "Pernod?" "That is not German!" "That is the kind of detail that can get your cover blown." "Oh, you're a bore!" "What about your spies, by the way?" "Did you see them?" "We must free Berthier soon, or we'll get screwed." "They just have to reopen their restaurant" " and Ted will take his property back." " His property?" "What property?" " That's what Berthier will tell me." " Take off your coat." " No, I'm going out again." " Going to see girls again?" "This is no time to joke." "If you're going out, you're not covered enough." "Oh, come on, none of these childish tricks." "What are you going to do, then?" " Well, I'm going there." " Across the street?" " Yes, across the street." " Tonight?" "What are you?" "Crazy?" "I'm going to negotiate, as they say." " Don't you know where you're going?" " Will you stop bugging me?" "I know what I have to do." "Colonel Berthomieux." "Good evening, Hortense." "Good evening." " You're one train late, big boy." " Whose train?" "The Old Man's?" " Why?" "Isn't he here?" " Bad luck." "He left five minutes too early." "What are you talking about?" "Where did he go?" " And he didn't want this." " I'm asking you where he is." " He went negotiating." " Across the street?" " Yes, across the street." " This is not possible." "He's doing it on purpose." "Of course he's doing it on purpose." "The old ape knew you would come eventually." "This is too convenient!" " Convenient or not, he went to see the Jerries!" "Lohm will never let him out!" "He's completely senile." "I'm not sure about that." "But if you don't get him out of there, it's obvious we can just have a mass celebrated for him." "Oh, the bastard!" "The old bastard!" "He might just kill himself just to bug us!" "Because there's no doubt that he's carrying his pill!" "If, by any chance, you want to take a walk across the street, the assistant of the big boss is a bloke named Von Rosberg." "Ring a bell?" " My Rosberg?" "From the Liberation?" " Exactly." "So you see old goats can still be useful!" "Won't you change your clothes before you go visiting?" "I've got a German suit your size, you'll be discreet." "I don't have the time to be discreet." "I just need this." "Don't repeat yourself, I understood perfectly." "You're putting me in some situation!" "A man of your importance!" "Put yourself in my place for just one second, colonel." " All right." "Just take mine." " There's a mystery, colonel." "Nobody's more aware than you that it's easy to come into our house, but that going out again..." "There's no mystery." "I came to fetch Berthier." "I thought, I believed that Colonel Berthomieux, coming to see Doctor Lohm, would obtain Berthier's freedom." "Without thinking of any trap, and with nothing in my hands." "Well, I was wrong." "Times have changed." " Come on, you couldn't believe that." " Well I did." "And this is really bad for my opinion of Doctor Lohm." "I'll let you meditate tonight, Colonel, on what you'll tell me tomorrow." "Cause, of course, you'll still be my guest." " Thanks for the guest room." " What now?" "It was long." "Coming in was easy, we all did." " But going out again..." " It's been taken care of." " Yeah..." " You old thing..." " This won't be sufficient." " What do you think I am?" "A kid?" "Well?" "Were you never in the slammer?" "I was." " I always make arrangements." " We'll be blown up, too." "People survive this kind of thing one time out of two." "Your handkerchief!" "Your handkerchief if you don't want to stay deaf!" " I don't like it." "I don't like it!" " I do." "Kurt von Rosberg!" " We're even!" " Not yet." " Well?" " I didn't understand anything." "Look, kid, I was in the trade way before you, so no mysteries:" " the Germans let you out?" " Yes, they did, that's what's strange." "We made it." "That's the important point, isn't it?" " Yes, but all the same..." " Rosberg and I, it's a secret." "A secret agents' secret." " Oh, yes?" " Yes." " Oh, I can see it all now." " Bravo." "I saved Rosberg during the Liberation." "He'd been caught in Paris, and since he was wanted as a spy since 1939," " he was in a bad position." " And you saved him?" "Just like that?" " Yes." "He also worked for us." " Oh, a double agent then?" "Yes." "In 44, I was the only survivor in our network to know that." "And without my testimony, Rosberg was fried." " So he returned the favour?" " That's it." "Now everybody understands." "Hortense!" "You'll wake me up at five." "The plane to Pau takes off at six." "OK." " So you're expected in Pau?" " Yes, I've just got a 24 hours leave." "I see." " You came for the week-end." " That's it." "I was passing." "Passing in front of Doctor Lohn's laboratory when I heard you crying for help." "A happy coincidence, wasn't it?" "You'll stay and have lunch with us, won't you?" "No, sorry, but if I miss my plane, I'll be deemed AWOL." " I'll fix that." " No, look: please don't fix anything!" "Oh, you're bugging me!" "You're not going to start again, are you?" "We need you here and you'll stay!" "Yes, you made me come here, but don't think that I didn't see through your trap." "Large as a house, your trap was." "I'm a poor old, somewhat softened man!" "I'm going to get imprisoned by Doctor Lohn!" "I take my little pill with me, just to show off." "Then I wait quietly for the boy scout to come and free me!" "But the ignoble thing, in your dirty little trick, was that you could indeed lose your hide!" "Of course I could." "That's why you came." "Bastard..." "Now listen to me!" "It's over, get it?" "I'm going back to Pau." "And you can go on playing with your little pill for all I care!" "Go on!" "Swallow it!" "I won't be the one to turn you upside down so you can spit it out!" "Tell me, Berthier, there's a question I wanted to ask you." "I walked the whole path again, I went to the restaurant..." "In my opinion, on the day the shit hit the fan," "Ted the Hook had stolen the treasure from the Jerries... and he was forced to hide it in the restaurant when the shupos arrived." "So what I wanted to ask you is this:" "do you think Boris Almazian had the time to get hold of it?" " Boris Almazian?" " Yes, the Russian." "But, Colonel, I told you everything yesterday!" "Yes, yes, of course, I know, but like all old men, I like things to be repeated to me." "Oh, Berthier, you weren't in America, when Géo worked with Ted the Hook." "That's too bad." "It's stupid because, as soon as the shupos leave the restaurant," "Ted will go there and take his property back." "So, somebody who'd know his ways would stand a chance to get the thing before he does." "See what I mean?" "You don't look like you do." " No!" "No, don't come closer!" " Calm down!" "Calm down!" "What are you doing?" "Are you abducting me?" "I'm not abducting you, I'm putting you down." "What strong arms you have." "You're a criminal, ain't you?" "A gangster?" "A trafficker?" "A burglar?" "A spy!" "I can feel that you're a spy!" "Yes, you hit the bull's eye!" "What's happening to you?" " You speak French!" " You too." "But then, if you speak French, you're a French spy?" "Sir, I'm French myself:" "I'm at your service, you may ask me..." "whatever you want." " Is that true?" " Yes it is." "Well, do you know the restaurant downstairs?" "Quite well, I eat all my meals there." "Why?" " Because you're going to lead me to it." " Now?" "But it's closed." "That's the point." "If it weren't, I wouldn't have come through your window." "There's a small door somewhere, isn't there.?" "Yes, but it's going to be very dangerous." "Look, either you do a job or you don't." "Yes, you're right." "See how funny it is: before I knew you, I thought only about spying." "I wanted to do some." "You know how it is when you read novels." "I saw spies everywhere." " Don't say that." " Right." "And now... well now it's done." "I'm involved." "I wonder if I'm good at it." "You're a bit nervous, but..." "I don't know what's happening to me." "See?" "I'm cold." "Cold, as in really cold, or..." "just cold." "Less so." "Like this, much less so." "Oh, you've got arms..." "magnetic arms." "Are you quite sure you must go into that restaurant?" " Quite regretfully." " Sure?" " Sure." " All right." "Let's go." "What will you be looking for in the restaurant?" " Trouble." " Trouble?" "Maybe you'd better go and sleep now." " What if you were expected?" " I've got a wonderful trick." "And even is a case such as yours, which is not simple,it never fails!" " Oh yes?" " Yes." "Look." "I raise my hand like this and..." "The electric meter..." "The flush?" "No, he's no beginner." "Not much left." "Good old Ted..." "What have you got in here?" "Well, open if you can." "Open and see for yourself." " Nice." "Worthy of the Gorilla." " No names." "You're right: no names!" "Oh, I see." "You want to take me out and buy me caviar?" " Hurry up, the Vodka is chilled." " And the shupos are warmed." "Well, let's go." "Tell me, Boris: are you sure that you're not afraid?" " Afraid of what?" " Of abducting me." "Because you're abducting me." "See?" "You were afraid, Boris." "I keep the other hand for me." " How many kilograms do you weigh?" " Me?" "130 or 140." "What about you?" "Between 100 and 110." "Depending on what I ate." "I laugh because they do but don't know why." "It's normal:" "the French language is very hard to understand." "Ah, the French language:" "wonderfully diplomatic." "Victor Hugo." "Jules Verne." "Jean Jaurès." "The "Pieds Nickelés" (comic strip)." "Do you know the "Pieds Nickelés"?" "The Germans are also very interesting." "Goethe." "Nietzsche." "Keibel!" "You do know Keibel?" "He's a poet, isn't he?" "You know Keibel very well." "You put Keibel in your pocket." "No more tricks: give me what you found in the restaurant." " Search me." " Look, Gorilla:" "if I want to know what you found," "I have to take your clothes off, that's it?" "Feel free, old pal." "You've got your cabin boys!" "I can't have the Gorilla punched by menial comrades." "Gorilla, it's like us in Russia:" " Oursmiska is me." " I know." "I know that you know a lot." "We'll talk soon, by the way." "We'll really talk." "Oh because you're taking me home just to make small talk." "I told you: vodka, caviar!" "And what's for dessert?" "Truth drug or lobotomy?" " Lobo what?" " You know: the small blade cutting the brain lobe off." "Who do you think we are?" "Americans?" "We're not modern enough." "We're barbarians." "Orientals." "No, you and I, we'll do it like Cossacks." " How do you say that in French?" " In a fair fight, Boris." "You could have been killed too, idiot!" "Idiot yourself!" "You saved my life when you tied the chain to my wrist." " It held me back." " It held you." "What about my men?" " They've been crushed?" " Da!" " Why should I care?" " Well, you'll have to pay for them, by giving me the damn thing you found in the restaurant." " Don't get excited." " Oh, one of them is all right." " Hi, Ted." " Hurry up:" "I passed the shupos just out of town." "Oh, you were following them?" "No, but we have to hurry:" "the shupos will be here in no time." "Come, I'll give you a ride." "What about my friend, Boris Almazian?" "May I introduce you to Oursmiska!" " I know him." " Well?" " We're not going to leave him to the cops, are we?" " OK." "Oh, what a load!" "Just a minute." "Maybe they'll find him but not before the next war." "Come on, come on, the cops are coming." "How did you learn about my trouble with Ivan?" " What were you doing in the restaurant?" " What restaurant?" "I saw you." "I was hiding in front of it." "That's fun." "We were all there." "The UN, right?" "Don't forget you've only got one hand, Ted." "One accident today was enough." " Get out." " Beware, Ted." "So the Russians let you keep your artillery?" " Will you get out?" " We'll both get out." "Together." "Playing soldier boys is useless, Ted." "Two real marksmen face to face will shoot at the same time and make two dead men." "And I have no reason to kill you, by the way." "That's true, we're two old war comrades." "Of course we are." "And war comrades know each other well." "I, for instance, know you well, Ted." "And I'd say you let your camera lie in the restaurant for quite a long time." "Oh, fine, so now we can see clearly." "So you found my Kodak, didn't you?" "You just had to come and take it back earlier." " The restaurant was closed..." " Come on, don't give me that." "A closed restaurant with two cops in front of it never frightened you before." "If your Kodak was so priceless, you would have gone there." "I don't know: you would have assembled a commando team, or blown the restaurant up, wouldn't you?" "Still, if you bothered to hide it, the Kodak must be interesting." "Well?" "Look, old bean, you and I can talk, so I might as well enlighten you." "There were two Kodak's." "Well two Minoxes." "Fine." "Here we are!" "My Kodak without yours is worth nothing." "Half of the documents, right?" "And since you owned the other half, you were in no hurry." "But your Kodak without mine is worth nothing either." "So?" "There's one big difference:" "my Kodak is already in Frankfurt, in a laboratory, while yours is here, in your pants, isn't it?" "So we're back to the idea of shooting?" "No, you said it very well:" "it would result in two dead men." "No, the best thing at this stage, you see, is to talk business." "Of course." "I give you my Minox a and you drive me home." "Are you crazy?" "Oh, come on, I'm serious." "Hey, maybe we could associate our two Minoxes." "Just think: the Russians are on it." "The two of us can get a jump on them and win." "The Franco-American committee?" "You're getting old, Ted." "You negotiate." "As you can see, I'm getting old too." "How do we manage the exchange of blueprints?" "Have your roll developed." "And you'll have copies sent from Frankfurt?" "Then we exchange." "One of my men will bring the documents by plane to Dusseldorf tomorrow morning." " Bravo." "And our regards to Mr. Otto Lohn!" " Yeah." "Come on, hurry up, I'm hungry." "What's this business with Ted?" "I don't want any transaction, can you hear me?" "Let's talk business, colonel." "How much would you get out of Professor Keibel's invention?" "Since we can't build it in France." " It will sell for a very high price." " Yes, but not on the flea market." "You've been told that we needed uranium in order to make our atom bomb?" "We'll get it." "I'm going to fetch milk." "Well, if we share, you'll get a little less out of it, that's all." " And you'll avoid a massacre." " You're here to obey orders." " You're not a member of the Staff." " Oh yeah?" "But, yesterday, the Staff was busy chewing their pill when I arrived." "The Staff were fried, weren't they?" "Today, they have the opportunity to get half of the whole and still they're complaining?" " Now the Staff have a nerve!" " I want all of it!" "Half of it doesn't mean anything!" "Can you hear me, Gorilla?" "I won't share with America!" "America's lucky enough as it is." "Thirty kilograms of uranium more or less aren't worth a man's death anyway." "What are those illustrious words?" "Listen closely, Colonel." "If you go on throwing a tantrum, you won't get anything at all." "Not a third, not a fourth, not half, zero!" " America and I aren't the only players." " I know: the Russians." "And the English." "Did you think of the English?" " The English are not interested." " Oh, come on, Colonel." "Did you ever see an uninterested Englishman?" "You, get dressed on the double and go to Wuppertal!" "My respects, Colonel." "What?" "You settle in front of the University and watch the Keibel family." " Why?" " Because that's the way it is." "I always get the crummy jobs, I'm fed up with it!" " Do you prefer blows?" " No, but..." "Then go!" " Of course, I'll need to stay there all night?" " That's right." "Take your pillow." "I see." "You're watching every loophole." " What, Wilhelm, you've got a car now?" " Yes, a pal lent it to me." "Now that's a surprise." "Here, take my suitcase." "I've got it." "Get into the car." " Oh, wonderful!" " And now let's go!" " Where are we going?" " I can't tell you that." " Why?" " Oh, shit!" "And here is what we're given to work with." "Don't complain." "A lot of people would like to have it." "That must be Fatso." "Go and open the door." "Gee, I must have put on some weight." " So what new tragic event are you planning?" " My return to France." " And your explanation with the delegate?" " Yeah." "You'll tell him that you could get only one half of the gizmo." "That's it." "And you'll send him to me in Pau, or I'll have your delegate's job." " And mine too, right?" " OK, have you got the car?" " Yes, but..." " And Keibel?" " That's the point." " Come on, talk." " Young Louise went out last night." " What?" "She went to the pictures?" " She had a suitcase." " Explain yourself, Fatso." "Well, Wilhelm, you know:" "her... well, her lover." " He came to fetch her in a car." " Did she come home?" "No, not yet." "She must have spent the night out." " That's strange." " Why?" " All right, come!" " Go!" "America is waiting!" "This is not bad, right?" "This is not bad at all!" "Of course I would have preferred to own the whole Sputnik, but sharing the cake with the Americans..." "I wouldn't have dared hope for that 48 hours ago." "And of course, it would have killed you" " to tell your Gorilla you were happy?" " Yes." "Do you think this is it?" "With such make-up, you bet!" "He's more than looking the part." "Scotch on the rocks!" "Hi, old bean!" "He's a friend, you may talk in front of him." "You're smoking American ones?" "So you dropped your disguise?" "I don't care." "From now on, I lay my cards on the table." " What about you?" " So do I." " Do you have a fast car?" " I took a cab." "You're making me sad." "You've got an old blue Opel." "So you know everything?" "And since I'm a nice chap, if ever we lose each other on the way, let's meet in Lujental in the American zone." "There's no place like home." "What a sod!" "Ted, listen to me." "The guys who jumped your American officer earlier weren't ours." "They were Russians." "Don't bother!" "I hurt myself so I could get in here." "I know, Ted, I know the Gorilla's going to get it." "You bet!" "He double-crossed me and got away with the stuff, didn't he?" "Yes he did, but it was to prevent the Russians from getting it." "You'll have his death on your conscience." "He's going to lose his hide..." "and for no good reason." "Go away!" "Go tell Ziegler, in the ambulance." " He'll never listen to me." " Well, help me get up then." "What is this rigmarole?" "So now I must tell my superiors about this fire." " The burnt documents." " The documents weren't yours." "That's the point." "They should have been." "They escaped me." "And it's even worse." "My commissar's going to be mean about it." "And you're going to tell him about the fire." "The French have all the blueprints." "Another trick of their Gorilla." "And the Russians, of course, are also getting interested in the matter." "And, knowing that the French have the documents, they'll risk it all." "They'll stop at nothing to accomplish their goal." "In other words, you're in danger." "You would be valuable to them, Mr. Professor." "I guess you know the meaning of the word kidnapping?" "You're forgetting that I'm a scientist." "I'm not an automat whom you make say whatever you want by giving him shillings, dollars or rubles." "Maybe." "You know that, today, anybody can be made to talk." "All kinds of scientific methods have been perfected." "But, you see, I don't want you to be made to talk." "Mr. Professor, we need men like you too much in Germany." "Yes." "Meaning?" "That I'm asking you not to leave the University for any reason." "I understand." "What if I do anyway?" "I'm sorry but, in that case, my men would open fire at once." " Well, aren't you eating?" " Bah!" "Your coffee with cream." "That's just like your Pernod." "Not German." "The kind of thing that get you noticed." "So we're worried about the kid, aren't we?" "Obviously he had a bad feeling about it:" " he didn't want to come." " Will you shut up, you old magpie?" "At this hour, he should be back with everything." "Well?" " The other one?" " Yes." "Mister delegate waits for you at the American Consulate." "What are you babbling about?" "The American Consulate?" "Yes." "He's got something..." "very serious to tell you." "But..." "At the American Consulate?" "Yes." "And he asked that you bring him this." "And he asked that I bring him this?" "Well..." " Are you going to anaesthetize me?" " One of your ligaments is hurt." "It can be very painful." "So a little novocain..." "Are you sure this is novocain?" "Essential to ligaments." "Also it will wash your brain." "Look, Boris, your modern stuff sickens me, so go and make a phone call for me." "You want to call your old man for help?" " The number is 86387." " Why?" "Why 86387?" "Why?" "What have you got to lose?" "Anyway, believe me, it's more interesting than giving me a shot." "Let me do the talking." "Hello?" "Professor Keibel?" "Sorry to bother you so early on a Sunday but I absolutely must talk to your daughter Louise" " Who's speaking?" " A French student." "A friend of Wilhelm's, yes." "Hold the line." "Louise!" "Louise, are you still asleep?" "Wake up, Louise, you're wanted on the phone." "I'm sorry, she must have gone out very early this morning." "Well?" "Too bad?" "What, too bad?" "Louise went to church!" "No." "Louise didn't go to church." " The Keibel daughter was abducted." " Abducted?" " By her lover." " Is that true?" "How do you know that?" "One of my men saw it all last night." "Because Professor Keibel, in the flesh, is of great interest to me." "I fell asleep." " What time is it?" " 8:30 am." "Already?" "I must call him." "So early?" "Surely you'd wake him up." "It's Sunday." "But what if he's up already and saw I wasn't there?" "I feel bad this morning." "Oh, come on, you know that we didn't do anything wrong." "When your father learns that we're going to get married," "I'm sure he'll be delighted." " Someone's asking for you, Sir." " I'll be there directly." "That's odd." "Nobody knows that we're here." "No." "It must be a mistake." " Go and see what it is." " Yes." " Hello, Jack." " Good morning, Sir." " Is the girl here?" " Your orders were followed to the letter." " We're almost there now." " I hate this kind of work." "Being sentimental is no fault, Jack." "But this is not the time." " An incident occurred at the airport this morning." " The Russians?" "The Russians were there, of course." "But all the others were too." "Which means it's time to act." "In one hour, England must reap what she sowed for six months." "Yes, but there is Louise." "I must admit we feared only one problem in our plan:" " you falling in love with her." " Thanks to you, I have." "It does complicate things but it doesn't change anything." "I don't want to know about it, and our plan must be implemented immediately." "And I'm sure that you know very well what I'm talking about." "Yes, Sir." "Jack!" "Remember, I'm counting on you." " Something happened." " Yes." "Your father." "They'll probably attack your father." " They're going to abduct him." " Abduct him?" "Who?" " The Russians." " No." "Your father has been worried for some time." "He told me about it." " But I didn't believe him." " Is he in danger?" " Do you think he's in danger?" " Yes." "Oh, please, we absolutely have to warn him." "They must not find him." "I must call him." "As I told an old friend of mine just yesterday:" "I would be surprised if the English were uninterested in anything." "So, Wilhelm?" " Yes, his name is Jack White, Intelligence Service." "And he's going to blackmail Keibel, using the girl, and snatch him under our very nose." "Oh, well..." "So, are you still going to give me that injection?" "You stay here." "Thanks for the tips." "I'll be back later." "With Professor Keibel." "Private property." "Do not trespass." " Why are you bugging me with that?" " Oh, I know you're dumb this morning, but you should at least understand that instantly!" " Are you recalling a favour?" " Yes, I don't have a choice." "I saved you from the shupos, so you've got to pay me back!" "Take me with you!" "Right, come on!" "Colonel Berthomieux." " Do you have it?" " Well... what are we doing in the American Consulate?" " It's a NATO meeting." " What's NATO got to do with it?" "An agreement was reached tonight between Paris, London, Bonn and Washington." "The Germans are sharing Keibel's invention with the nations who belong to NATO." " All governments agree." " Oh, yes, yes, yes, they agree." "So Bergère, Berthier, the Gorilla..." " well everything I did was..." " Everything was very useful." "Thanks to your action, Colonel, the agreement was made possible." "The Germans were very demanding." "When they learned that the Gorilla and Ted the Hook" " had the blueprints between them..." " They lowered their price." "And now you're going to ask me to stop shooting." "No, not right now." "In a quarter of an hour, probably, when Washington confirms." "Well, whether now or in a quarter of an hour, I can't." "My men are in the field, I can't reach them." "I trust you!" "Are the German secret services informed?" "The German secret services?" " There's no such thing." " Oh, please!" "Has Dr Lohn been informed of the armistice?" "He will." "They have telephones in Bonn." "Give me the Minox." "I'm warning you." "If this bloody thing costs a man's life, as I think it will," "I'll really retire this time..." "Mr. Delegate." "Boris, you should drive along Keibel's home before you drop me at my place." "Bullshit." "Put yourself in Keibel's place:" "your daughter has been abducted, aren't you going to look for her?" "All right." "Then put yourself in Otto Lohn's place." "You're the boss of the secret services, a rival nation snatches your number one scientist under your nose." "What will you do, rather than let him be taken from you?" "Kaput..." " Yes, I'm listening." " Hello?" "Is that you, Daddy?" "Louise." "How happy I am!" "I was so worried, honey." "Where are you?" "Daddy, please, don't ask any questions." "I'll tell you later." "But listen to me: in five minutes, I'll be at our door with a cab." "I'll wait downstairs." "In five minutes." "It's now... wait..." "exactly five past nine." "I'll be there at ten past nine." "Be back soon." "To the University." "Schnell!" "What's happening?" "Why did you stop?" "It's over there!" "I'm in a hurry, please be quick about it." " You're going to need me, Boris." "And you know it." " Niet!" "What are you doing?" "Let me get out!" "You've got nothing to do here." "But my father..." "I come to fetch my father." " If he comes out, he'll be shot." " He will come out." "He will come out any second now!" "Where are you going?" "Where are you going?" "Is there any reason for us to let Professor Keibel be shot?" "To let a man be killed: why?" "Stop or I shoot." "Stop!" "Well, shoot if you don't trust me." "Come on, shoot!" "Your daughter is here, at the end of the street." "Go back home: we'll bring her back to you safely." " I want to see her." " Do as I say!" " What are the shupos doing?" " They're still far away." "Do you mean I still have time before they arrive?" " Time to do what?" " Time to croak." "OK, beat it too." "I don't want the shupos to take you." "It would be too stupid." "Now that you prevented me from being ridiculous..." "Bastards!" "What is my last news?" "You can sleep tight." "Always the same old song." "The part of the New Gorilla was played by Roger Hanin." "Translation:" "Goupil66 June/July 2011"