"Now, on "Top Gear"..." "Here we go." "I hijack the show and drive my dream car." "This car is loud!" "Play a little football..." "Hut, hut, hut!" "Good God!" "No!" "And finally teach race boy a lesson." "Oh, God!" "Ha ha ha ha ha!" "Right from the start, "Top Gear" has given us the opportunity to do some incredible things in amazing vehicles." "But for some reason..." "No brakes." "They've been less than enthusiastic about a few of my ideas." "However, due to a few compromising photos I found, they suddenly agreed to turn the whole show over to me." "Now, Tanner usually gets to drive the expensive cars, but not today." "This was my show." "So I got to drive the car of my dreams, one that has been an obsession since I was a kid." "When I was a little boy, my father bought me a model car and told me a story." "That car was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen." "A sexy, low-slung, aggressive speed machine." "Then he told me why that car was built." "It was a story of vengeance that epitomized America's can-do spirit." "My father taught me a very valuable lesson that day." "Don't get mad, get even." "And that revenge was a beautiful thing." "This is the 1966 Ford GT-40, the car that made the world take notice of American engineering," "beating the then dominant Ferrari at the legendary 24 hours at Le Mans." "Look at it." "It's all power and might." "It was built for one purpose..." "Victory." "In 1962 Enzo Ferrari pulled out of a deal to sell his company to Ford at the last minute." "This infuriated Henry Ford II, so to get his revenge, the deuce made a call to Carroll Shelby, who dropped in a massive 427 into the GT-40 and let slip the dogs of war." "The GT-40 crushed Ferrari and went on to win 4 consecutive victories from 1966 to 1969." "And during the 1966 24-hour race, it racked up over 3,000 miles." "It's valued at over $8 million." "$8 million." "And they're gonna let me drive it." "This is it." "This is the actual car that beat Ferrari at Le Mans in 1966." "Oh, this is so cool." "Easy..." "I don't want to break anything." "There we go." "Get the door shut." "This isn't just any Ford GT-40." "This is the GT-40." "Probably one of the most important cars in American automotive history." "This is a little intimidating." "I'm actually gonna drive this car." "I know what you're thinking." "Clearly, they don't watch this show." "Here we go." "My palms are all sweaty." "All right." "Power on." "Fuel pump on." "Fire it up." "Listen to that!" "That's history, baby!" "Oh, man." "If my father could see me now." "Ha ha!" "All right." "First gear." "Here we go." "Oh, yeah!" "That's it." "That's it." "I'm only allowed to drive it 6 feet." "Not just me." "Anyone's only allowed to drive it 6 feet." "I signed in as Tanner Foust and they didn't care about that either." "It's depreciation." "That little trip probably cost around 10 grand." "I'm gonna have to come up with something else." "So what do you do when your childhood dream of driving a legend comes up short?" "Luckily, there is a solution." "For a mere $135,000, you can buy a hand-built replica that is so like the original, over 2/3 of its rolling chassis parts are interchangeable." "And the good thing about this one is," "I can actually drive it." "It might be a replica, but it's got teeth." "In fact, it has 65 more horsepower and can reach 60 miles an hour half a second faster." "And, it's a bit of a handful." "This car is loud!" "This has no safety in it whatsoever." "There's no traction control." "No stability." "This is a freakin' race car!" "Ha ha ha ha ha!" "Times like this I wish I was a better driver." "'Cause I get the distinct feeling that I could kill myself." "See?" "You know when you were a kid and you thought it would be really cool to be a race car driver?" "You were right." "This is freaking cool." "Ohh..." "Now, that's a car." "Look at that." "Ha ha ha ha." "I was fulfilling my childhood dream..." "And to make it even better," "I'd arranged a race against Rutledge." "I told him to pick up a Ferrari GT and meet me at the track." "A GT-40." "Hell, yes!" "Which I can only assume is a kit car." "Technically." "'Cause who in their right mind would loan you an original?" "Excuse me." "I drove an original." "Oh, really?" "6 feet." "But I drove it." " I bet it was great." " Yeah." "This is real nice." "When did you marry a plastic surgeon?" "Are you kidding me?" "A Ferrari 550 Maranello, you're gonna make fun of that?" "Maranello." "Isn't that your dancing name?" "Clearly, Rut couldn't get ahold of the actual Ferrari that the GT-40 beat, but that didn't matter." "I still had a point to prove." "This car was made to beat Ferrari." "And it did." "That little prancing horse," " when it reared up?" " Yeah." "The cobra bit it in the balls." " What?" " 4 times." "I'm just gonna have to teach you a lesson." "What do you got in mind?" "Mount up." "This was the perfect chance to wipe the beard off of Rut's face." "It was Le Mans all over again." "American muscle versus Italian panache." "And what better way to prove the point than a quarter-mile drag race?" "This is a beast, and I'm gonna eat that prancing stallion for lunch." "It's so wrong that someone loaned him that car." "It's like handing a rocket launcher to an insane person." "All right, you count it off." "Here we go." "3... 2... 1..." "Go!" "Coming up, we battle it out." "I'm hot on his tail!" "Look out!" "And later..." "I finally find a way to slow Tanner down." "Oh, God!" "I used a little blackmail to take control of the show." "My first move was to drive my dream car..." "Listen to that!" "The Le Mans-winning GT-40." "Now I was taking on Rut in a drag race, reliving the 50-year-old rivalry between Ford and Ferrari." "3... 2... 1..." "Go!" "Oh, that thing is fast." "Look at it go!" "Come on, baby!" "That's it." "Oh, it's leaving me!" "Ha ha ha!" "Oh, come on, it's a replica." "Really?" "Real Ferrari, fake GT-40, just got smoked." "Ha ha ha ha!" "I think in Italian, the word is, you lost." "That was a drag race, ok?" " That didn't prove anything." " Sure it did." "Yeah, you've got a monstrous engine." " Yeah." " You know what?" "That's not what Le Mans was about." "It was about endurance." "I'm enduring you right now." "No, you know what?" "We're gonna settle this with an endurance race." "We don't have all day." "Well, we could do something a little big shorter." "Follow me." "It was great meeting lady Maranello, and even if it was my show, it felt like the right thing to do to let him come up with another way to lose." "All right, Rut, what the hell are we doing here?" "This, my friend, is an endurance race." "How do you figure this is an endurance race?" "This is a tiny, tiny track, it's maybe 200 yards long." "And it's an oval." "I say whoever gets the most laps in 24 minutes wins." "This was your big idea?" "We'd start on opposite sides of a tight oval and try to catch each other." "Adam's casual relationship with safe cornering was bound to favor me." "Let's do this." "The 24 minutes of Le Mans." "All right, Adam." "In 3... 2... 1..." "Go!" "This is the dumbest thing." "Look out." "Oh, that thing's too loud." "I gotta roll my window up." "I can't even get out of first gear." "Wow, you can get dizzy on this." "Oh, look at that." "Oh, I'm on his tail." "I'm hot on his tail!" "Look out!" "This is ridiculous." "Just goin' around in a circle, nowhere." "I'm goin' on the outside." "Ohh!" "I took him!" "On the outside." "I've bought it." "I'm choking on carbon monoxide in this thing, with the exhaust and going in a circle." "And lunch." "This isn't going so good." "Oh, is he stopping?" "Is he stopping?" "He does not look good." "Nice goin'." "Whoo!" "That's how you endure, my friend." "Clearly, this proved the Ferrari's superiority over the GT-40." "No, it doesn't." "'Cause you can go in a circle." "You're used to that." "NASCAR's conditioned you." "I would've been ok if I didn't have lunch before we did this." "Well, that sounds like your problem." "This was a test of endurance, and I won." "All right, look, well, I won one and you won one." "Yeah." "So basically, it's just time for you to admit that that is a great car." "It's a cool car, but this is a much better car." "It is not a better car." "Rut and I fight a lot, but we've always agreed never to fight in front of the children." "Oh, wow." "These are beautiful cars." "Huh?" "What'd I tell you?" "Who's winning?" "Well, we've actually each won something, so now..." "You need a tie-breaker is what you're saying." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Just arrived." "I'll lap them on the real track." "How about that?" "Both cars." "All right." "You know what?" "That's..." "Yeah, fine." "Tie-breaker." "Give me the keys, dad." "The prancing horse first?" "Don't get him started with this." "He's gonna... see?" "Ok, Tanner, are you ready?" "Yes, sir." "All right, here we go." "A real Ferrari is a lot cooler and faster than a GT-40 kit car, on 3... 2... 1..." "Go!" "Go, go, go, go!" "All right, a little wheel spin off the line there." "It's gonna cost you." "All right, tucking it inside 'cause of decreasing radius." "Just gotta really be patient." "Wow, way more front-end grip than I thought there'd be." "All right, I'm gonna be able to push this car." "Don't you see how sleek that car is?" "Yeah, yeah, it's... but it's nowhere near as cool-looking as the GT-40." "Look at that." "You can see that running around Beverly Hills every day of the week." "Come on." "It's so quiet." "It's hard to tell if it's even working or not." "The grip in the front is really spectacular, actually." "God." "You have to really throw it to make it angry, but once it gets angry, it will bite." "Flat through this, maybe?" "Yes!" "Braking hard." "9 times Ferrari won at Le Mans." "9 times!" "Until GT-40 came in 4 times in a row." "And guess what..." "It's gonna beat it again today." "That's not true." "Here it comes." "Don't late clutch it." "I'm not, I'm not." "Come on, there he goes." "Yeah, all the way up." "Boy, that was fast." "What was it?" "1:54 flat." "Somehow it achieves a seemingly impossible performance with absolute Italian dignity." "There's no way the GT-40 can go faster than that." "You kidding?" "It's gonna crush that thing." "It's a race car." "That's something you buy your wife if you have a lot of money 'cause she caught you cheating with the babysitter." "That is not a nice thing to say." "There's some guy watching right now who just looked over at his wife and was like, what?" "I..." "Ha ha ha ha ha!" "What?" "I just thought you would like it." "It doesn't have anything to do with Katie." "The time to beat was one minute 54 seconds." "I knew my GT-40 was fast, but with its old-school handling and lack of technology, would it be fast enough?" "It all comes down to this, my friend." "It all comes down to this." "This and that little man is gonna tell the story." "I have faith." "I got faith in the Ferrari." "All right, you ready, Tanner?" "Yeah, ready." "3...2... 1..." "Go!" "Listen to that!" "Listen to that!" "I can't hear anything." "Yah ha ha ha!" "Since grabbing control of "Top Gear,"" "I had driven the car of my dreams." "That's history, baby!" "Oh, that thing is fast." "Look at it go!" "I had beaten Rut in a drag race..." "Just got smoked." "Now I was using race boy to settle the argument once and for all." "Boy, that was fast." "What was it?" "He had lapped Rut's 550 Maranello in one minute and 54 seconds." "Now it was time to unleash the beast." "3...2... 1..." "Go!" "Come on!" "Listen to that!" "Listen to that!" "I can't hear anything." "Yah ha ha ha!" " My ears are bleeding." " Yes!" "That's a race car!" "Oh, it's lots of power!" "The noise is awesome!" "Go, baby!" "Go, go, go!" "Whoa, slow down." "Slow down." "It's not the easiest car to drive." "No power to..." "No power to the brakes." "No power to the steering." "And I'm not sure if the seat has me or not." "And I've got a huge amount of smoke coming in." "Ooh, is that smoke?" "That feels good for me." "Hang on, car." "Don't burn me up." "Come on, baby." "It's a trail break." "Come on, baby." "I know you don't like turning left." "Here he comes." "Look at that." "That's it, you run, you sexy beast, you run!" "Come on, come on, come on, come on!" "Oh, my gosh!" "Whoo!" "That was a workout." "How you feel?" "I feel fine." "You do?" "How'd that go?" "You tell me." "What did it feel like?" "What was faster?" "I hate to say it, but I think the Ferrari." "Because the Ferrari you could do the exact same lap and get exactly what you wanted..." "Power steering..." "You had like "mi amore,"" "or whatever playing on the radio." "It was so easy, where the Ford," "I was lucky to stay on the track." "That thing is a death trap." " Yeah, it is." " No way that it is." "It was scary." "Sounded awesome." "Should have adjusted the belts." "They were up around my neck halfway through the lap." "What was the time?" "Come on." "Which was faster?" "The Ferrari, you did it in 1:54 flat." "I guess." "Impressive?" "Respectable?" "We all agree." "Yeah." "Burning the tires off was fun." "Now, the GT-40 you did in 1:49:66!" " No way!" " Yes!" "Are you kidding me?" "It felt so much scarier." "Yeah!" "What was impartial about that high five?" "He just did it." "He survived that car." "I'm celebrating that I survived the track in that car." "I get it." "I've been hoodwinked." "I've been bamboozled." "No." "This is... this is chicanery right here." "This is tomfoolery." "You don't know what any of those words mean." " Did he pay you?" " No." "Did he tell you to sandbag..." "There was no skullduggery going on here." "Ok?" "Cheaters." "You're both cheaters." " How were we cheating?" " Cheaters." " That's what you're gonna go with?" " Cheaters." " That's what you're gonna..." " Into the sunset he goes." " Swing your arms." " He can't accept..." "I'm going where cheaters don't hang out." "Ok." "Walk like a human being." "Less arm swing." "See, you know what that is?" "That's a Bigfoot film from the seventies." "Can I drive that car again?" " Yeah." " All right." "Let's go." "That thing's terrifying." "What a bunch of crap." "As always, Rut was gracious in defeat." "Hoodwinked." "But I was just getting started." "So after Rut emerged from his 5-minute time-out," "I took him and Tanner across town to a dirt football field." "Tanner can drift anything, and Rut is actually part Honda, but neither one of them know anything about America's favorite sport." "So I brought them here for an education." "So what are we doing here?" "We're gonna play football." "Football as the world knows it." "Soccer here." "No, not soccer." "We're playing football." "Ah." "Football americano." "Don't make it sound like a cup of coffee." "You know, I liked football, but then they just started changing cities and stuff." " I can't keep up with it." " You can't keep up?" " Nah!" "Ever since the Oilers left Houston, you were out." "Gentlemen, do not worry." "I made it so even you two could understand." "Football... with cars." "How is that possibly gonna work?" "This is gonna be great." " Is that my Saab?" " Yeah?" " That you ruined?" " Yeah." "I was gonna play quarterback with a football-launching air cannon mounted on my old Trans AM." "Rut and Tanner would be my running backs and receivers and would have to drive into position and catch the ball." "And to make sure Tanner and Rut got a real taste of football, we'd compete in a game, against the local demolition derby crew on a standard 100-yard football field complete with uprights." "Why do you get to be the quarterback?" "'Cause you throw like a girl." "You completely destroyed a perfectly good Saab." "That was a 150-mile-an-hour car." "I made it better." "Don't worry about it." "So you're gonna fire footballs with an air cannon at us in cars with no windows." "And a fishnet on the roof." "Brilliant, isn't it?" "Let's just practice, ok?" "Do we have to wear a cup?" "You don't..." "You don't need one." "Ok." "I'm just gonna get in my car." "I'm wearing one anyway." "It was time to go through some plays and get used to playing football from behind the wheel." "All right, fellas, we'll start easy with a couple of pass plays, all right?" "We'll keep everything nice and simple." "Rut, you're gonna line up slot left, give me a crossing pattern." "I'm gonna pump fake it, lift the safety off." "Tanner, you go straight up the sideline." "I'm gonna hit you with a back shoulder fade about 10 yards up." "How do you start these things?" "What do you say?" "You say "hike" or something?" "I work with morons." "Ok, we're gonna go on 3." "When I say "hut, hut, hut," the third "hut" you guys go." "All right?" " Ok." " All right, you ready?" "I guess so." "Blue 38!" "Blue 38!" "Kill, kill, kill!" "Hut, hut, hut!" "That's it!" "Well, they got that right." "Now all that was left to do was to launch the ball into one of their nets." "I'm all ready!" "Try it!" "Hmm." "Did it go?" "Where'd it go?" "It was a little tricky, but we'd get the hang of it." "Omaha!" "Kill, kill, kill!" "Hut, hut, hut!" " There we go." "That's it." " Shoot it!" "And...now!" "Get in there!" "Aww..." "Hut, hut!" "Get in there!" "I can't see anything!" "Is this ever gonna work?" "It doesn't feel like it." "I saw it shoot and I thought it might even come to the net." "Pick up the ball and bring it back here!" "I can't reach it." "Hold on." "This play is called retriever." "This is where you pick up the ball and bring it back." "Oh, come on." "There it is." "But they're my idiots." "I got it!" "I got the ball!" "Yay, sports!" "Give me the ball." "I see why people love sports so much." "This is exhilarating." "Are you excited?" "You ran a play." "Put me in, coach." "I'm ready." "Practice didn't go as well as I'd hoped, but the opposition was ready and it was time to play." "Our opponents lined up, a team of Utah's finest demolition derby drivers." "And they turned up hungry... for blood." "There were 5 of them." "So to even the sides, we recruited two locals to be our offensive line." "It's game time." "Put your game faces on." "That's not your game face." "Looks like you're passing a stone." "Err!" "What should a game face look like?" "Anything but that." "Let's do it!" "Are you ready for some football?" "!" "They take the!" "This was it..." "The coming together of two of the greatest inventions in human history." "Cars and football." "Our game time would be 30 minutes." "We'd won the coin toss and would get the ball first." "Even though we had failed to complete a pass in practice," "I wasn't gonna let that discourage me." "So I told Rut to block and Tanner to go long." "Blue Pontiac!" "Blue Pontiac!" "Hut, hut, hut!" "Ohh!" "Tanner started to showboat with a 360." "It confused the opposition, but it blinded me." "Oh, I can't see it!" "Where is it?" "But he managed to clear away and race toward the end zone." "Ok, gotta line it up." "I'm open!" "I'm open!" "I had a clear shot to Tanner." "But he cut right instead of left." "Ohh!" "How did we do?" "Did we score?" "Incomplete." "It was second and 10." "All right, fellas, on 3." "Since completing a pass was clearly beyond us, it was time to try something different." "Dan Gurney!" "Dan Gurney!" "Hut, hut, hut!" "Tanner ran some interference." "And Rut was off." "Go, Rut, go!" "Holy cow." "Uh-oh." "I'm blocking!" "I'm blocking!" "Go to your right!" "Come on, Rut!" "Ok, yeah, block." "Block that guy for me." "Block... no!" "Ohh!" "Oh!" "Coming up..." "I get Tanner's attention..." "Tugboat style." "Holy [Bleep]." "Due to some creative blackmail," ""Top Gear" had given me control of the show." "How is that possibly gonna work?" "This is gonna be great." "I was taking advantage of it to prove to Tanner and Rut that cars could be used for more things than burnouts and drag races." "Are you ready for some football?" "!" "Go, Rut, go!" "Now, Rut was trying to smash his way towards the goal line..." "Block that guy for me." "Through one of Utah's finest demolition derby teams." "Oh, no!" "Ohh!" "Oh, there it goes." "That's it, Rut, first down!" "Good running!" "First down!" "Yeah!" "Our team's offense was coming together and we made it to the red team's 45-yard line." "F-430!" "F-430!" "Adam started shouting random things." "Hut, hut, hut!" "Oh, yeah!" "Yeah!" "It was time to try a screen pass." "That's fantastic." "Good job..." "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "I got it!" "It fooled everyone, and race boy was off." "With some fancy wheel work..." "Oh, [Bleep]!" "And some blind luck, Tanner took it to the house." "Yeah!" "Touchdown!" "Yeah, baby!" "Oh, yeah!" "Touchdown celebration!" "Whoo!" "Ha ha ha!" "Wind up for the extra point!" "To enable us to kick an extra point," "I had constructed a genius catapult, based loosely on what I saw in the movie "Spartacus."" "Adam, you've got this." "Let's, go, team." "Go, team!" "All right, fellas..." "Hut, hut, hut!" "Oh, we missed it!" "But we were still in the lead 6-nothing." "Now it was time for some defense, and Tanner seemed to like the idea." "Let's crash into some [Bleep]!" "Uh-oh." "Ohh!" "Oh, gosh!" "17, Tanner, 17!" "Get 'em, get 'em, get 'em, get 'em!" "Watch the fake!" "Don't buy the fake!" "I got 17!" "I got 17!" "Damn, it, 17 doesn't have the ball." "Lady 2's got it." "Ohh!" " Oh, there it is!" " I got him!" "Yeah!" "The red team managed a first down with ease, and now they were inside the 20." "Keep 'em from scoring a goal." "Going for the sack." "Don't take that the wrong way." "Oh." "Oh." "Oh...oh!" "Hey!" "Hey, why are they coming after me?" "It's a sweep!" "We're not even on the field!" "While Rut was on the receiving end of what seemed like unnecessary roughness..." "What are you guys doing?" "!" "The red team's quarterback sneak worked." "Rut, what happened?" "I don't know." "I got thrown into next week." "Damn it!" "Now the red team could take the lead by making the extra point." "But not if I could help it." "I couldn't help it." "They made that!" "We were down by one, and it was time to get serious." "Hut, hut, hut!" "As the seconds ticked away..." " Yeah!" " Hut, hut, hut!" "Our cars were falling apart." "Ohh!" "Look at that." "Hut, hut, hut!" "Run your route, baby." "I'm running!" "We marched downfield for another touchdown..." "Touchdown!" "Who the man?" "Who the man?" "I'm the man." "But missed the extra point again." "Our opponents pushed back hard..." "Ha ha ha ha!" "Go on, go on, go on!" "Scoring another touchdown..." "Ah, damn it." "And making their extra point." "You guys suck." "So with two minutes left, we were down 14-12." "We had time for one last drive." "So we called a time-out and huddled up." "Here's what we're gonna do." " Rut, this is you." " Ok." " Tanner, this is you." " All right?" "This is me." "We're gonna go right up the "A" gap." "You're gonna push your guy this way, you're gonna push your guy this way, and I'm gonna blow right through the "A"." "When you say pushing, you just mean just crash from that direction." "Yeah, you push your man that way, you push your man that way, and I'm gonna go right up the middle." "And break." "This was it." "Death or glory." "All right, Adam, I'm ready to smash it up." "Let's do it!" "Dan Gurney!" "Dan Gurney!" "Hut, hut, hut!" "Come on, make it count." "Go, Adam!" "Go!" "Somehow, Rut and Tanner had got it right." "Yes!" "It looked like this might actually work." "Through the hole!" "Get in there!" "Go!" "I was out of bounds, just short of the goal line, but at least I had got the first down." "Yay!" "With 45 seconds left on the clock, it was first and goal." "Hut, hut, hut!" "I was the designated receiver, and this play had hero written all over it." "Show them, babies." "Get open." "Burn it, Adam!" "Hit it!" "Oh!" "Ohh..." "Unbelievable." "He overshot it." "I still believed." "It was second and goal and I was gonna send Rut on the same route." "Hut, hut, hut!" "I'll block for you, Adam." "Come on, Rut." "Do it!" "Come on, Rut." "That's it." "Throw it!" "I'm in the end zone!" "Hey, man, I'm on red!" "I'm on red!" "Ohh!" "It was now third and goal, with 15 seconds left on the clock." "No one would ever expect us to run the same play again." "Hut, hut, hut!" "Come on, Rut." "That's it, get open." "Throw it!" "How about that?" "How about that?" "Oh, no!" "Our passing game was non-existent." "With only two seconds left on the clock, it was decision time." "As team captain, I decided our best chance to win was to kick a long field goal." "But I had a problem." "Tanner." "Yo." "My front end is shot." "It's dangling in front." "You're gonna have to kick this." "Yeah." " All right?" " I'm on it." "Put it right through the uprights." " I'll keep 'em off your back." " Let's do this." "Let's go." "What happened to your car, man?" "My front end is shot." "Tanner's gotta kick this field goal." "I was nervous." "Tanner's instinct is to drift sideways wherever he goes, but here he had to line up straight and split the uprights." "Blue 42!" "Blue 42!" "Yellow team rocks!" "Hut, hut, hut!" "Go on!" "Coming up..." "I pile the misery on Tanner." "Out of the way!" "Oh, God!" "As I test my brand-new concept car." "Hee hee hee hee!" "I had seized control of "Top Gear,"" "and the first thing I did was drive my dream car..." "This is a freakin' race car!" "The Ford GT-40." "Blue 42!" "Now, we were in the final seconds of a game I invented..." "car football." "Blue 42!" "Since my car was falling apart," "Tanner had to kick the game-winning field goal." "Hut, hut, hut!" "Go on!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Yes!" "Yes!" "Yeah!" "In your face!" "In your face!" "Not in our house." "Oh, ho." "Oh, ho." "That's what's up." "High five!" "High five!" "That was a high five." "Ha ha ha ha!" "How great was that?" "!" "Oh, that was so good!" " Do we have to hug?" " Come on!" "Yes, we do." "Come on!" "That's why you like crashing cars so much." "Yes!" "That was honestly the best part." "Yeah." "I felt like I channeled you through whatever that was." "Did you have fun?" " Yeah." " Did you have fun?" "I..." "I did." "Gentlemen, that is car football." "After football, what do you usually do?" " Beer." " Yes, indeed." "You're buying." "Ok." "I'll get the first round." " Really?" " Yes." "Driving the GT-40 and playing car football may have been two of my most epic ideas, but they certainly weren't my only ones." "For decades, automakers all over the world have been designing amazing concept cars." "But the main problem with them is that most never make it into production." "And they fail to address the biggest issue facing drivers today..." "Other drivers." "Let's be honest." "Everyone else on the road besides you is a moron." "So I have made a concept car that is all function." "No flash whatsoever." "Its sole purpose is to use cutting-edge technology to deal with all these morons." "And I took it to Long Beach, California, to test it out." "Every automotive innovator needs a laboratory." "And every laboratory needs a monkey." "Ah." "Here's mine now." "Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!" "Nice spot you got picked out here." "Yeah." "I figured you need the room." "So what am I doing here?" "We are making history, my friend." "I have built a concept car to improve driver happiness." "And you are gonna help me test it." " Really?" " Yeah." "You notice you're driving this." " Yeah." " You like your 5 series?" " Yeah!" "I picked it out personally because I wanted to keep it all scientific." "'Cause, you know, most BMW drivers are, well, they're douchy." "You know that I own a BMW?" "Finish your story." "Ok." "I have my top 4 things that this car is gonna combat." "But we're gonna start with people who think that their time is more important than yours." "At number 4 are people using their cell phones while driving." "You ready?" "Ready here." "Distracted drivers are 4 times more likely to get into accidents than anyone else." "My solution..." "All right, Tanner, now, you drive away and, uh, make a phone call to someone in your harem or something." "I don't have a harem, and..." "Ok, I do actually need to make a phone call, so I'll make one." "All right, go ahead." "He's got a harem." "Holy [Bleep]!" "Good God, Adam." "I'm sorry..." "Careful!" "You're gonna hit an iceberg." "Ow." "I'll call you back." "Land ho!" "Ah ha ha ha ha!" "Look at him cackling back there." "Adam's first invention had been effective." "Highly dangerous and illegal, but effective." "You know, you can blow out an eardrum with that." "As soon as Tanner could hear again..." "We moved on to the third-most annoying thing other drivers do." "Cutting in on the right." "Here he comes." "Here he comes." "Here he comes." "Driving along, having a good time, and..." "I'm gonna pass." "Really?" "A freakin' sign?" "What an idiot." "Ah ha ha ha." "A sign's not gonna do anything." "What Tanner didn't realize was the sign wasn't my only deterrent." "I also had a paint bomb." "Whoa!" "Holy [Bleep]!" "Hee hee hee hee!" "I can't see a freakin' thing, Adam." "That's your idea?" "Ha ha ha ha!" "I was starting to see that Adam's way of dealing with other drivers was to eliminate them from the road..." "Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "So he could hog it all to himself." "You're gonna kill somebody." "No, I'm not." "I couldn't see anything." "I got paint all over my clothes." "My car's completely freakin' toast now." "That's what's supposed to happen." "My anti-cut-in avoidance device was a triumph." "Next in at number two on my list of other things annoying drivers do..." "All right, Tanner, let's go." "Tailgating." "That's it." "There you go." "Try and get closer." "And for this, I have created a very special, one of a kind..." "Out of the way!" "Squid gun." "Go ahead." "A little closer." "Yeah, get out the road!" "All right!" "Oh, God!" "What the..." "Yah ha ha ha ha ha!" "Ohh..." "Ohh..." "They're freakin' squid!" "Freakin' squid." "Yes!" "Yes!" "He's completely lost it." "He's officially lost his mind." "Oh..." "Oh, do you smell that?" "No." "It's so...nasty." "Yes!" "Oh, my gosh." "Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "Oh, my gosh." "Let me ask you a question." "Will you ever tailgate me again?" "No." "Science!" "We were now at my number-one annoyance, people who drive slow in the left Lane." "Look at me." "No, no care in the world." "Nothing." "As much fun as it was to watch Tanner drive slowly, there was more to come." "These people must be branded." "So he passed me." "Ok, big deal." "Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "It works!" "I don't get it." "I mean, so you passed the slow guy." "Big deal." "It is a big deal." "You've been branded so you will not affect others in the same way." "Ass hat?" "What's an ass hat?" "It's a rally driver that drives a 5 series BMW, doesn't know anything about pop culture since 1992." "It's not a bad idea." "Out of all your ideas, this one's the best one." "Yeah." "I wonder if I can get one of these on a Porsche." "Ha ha ha ha ha!" "My time in charge of the show had come to an end, and I had gotten to do exactly what I wanted." " Yeah!" " Yeah!" "Tanner and Rut could rest assured that those compromising photos would never be revealed."