" It's way too fast." " It felt good." "please." "it's too fast." " It's exactly the same." " Then slow it down." "Jeremy?" "" " Sure." "please." " What's his problem?" " His back's not 100%." "He can't talk to the conductor like that." "he can't." "She could." "You OK with the lift?" "I'll be fine unless you mess up the timing." " My timing is perfect." " It was last night." "Moment of truth." "Damn it." "are you all right?" "She... she can't breathe!" "Call a doctor!" "House" " Season 5 Episode 23 "Under My Skin" "Sync:" "NIZ Are you gonna ignore me all day again?" "I help you." "You tried to kill Chase." "boss." "you don't." "I acknowledge my subconscious exists." "Now go away." "Saying it is one thing." "Living it is another." "You're not rational... not completely." "and get dressed." " We've got a case." " I'm taking a personal day." "21-year-old star at the New York Ballet collapsed on stage." "I'm taking a personal day." "Cuddy said get your ass in or you're fired." " She's not gonna fire me." " She's not gonna fire you... if you don't go to work?" "How long do you figure till I just disappear?" "Hold on. no STDs." "And supplemental oxygen's only gotten her saturation level to 60." "Lungs keep collapsing despite a chest tube." "so no pneumonia." "Coffee's burnt." "Thirteen's wearing cherry-flavored lip gloss." "Foreman's staring at you." "Any of that helpful?" "STD?" "We said the tests were negative." "You think we should..." "She's a dancer." "What about dehydration?" "What about a pulmonary contusion?" "C.T. showed no inflammation on the lungs." "What about dehydration?" "B.U.N. and Creatinine are elevated but within range. right?" "Dehydration could hide an infection." "Dehydration could hide an infection." "Go treat her for the obvious I.V. fluids and antibiotics for the pneumonia." "We're like Magic and Kareem." "you have kidney cancer." "but..." "The door was closed for a reason." "now it's open for a reason." "We need to talk." "He just told me I have kidney cancer." "Then you'll obviously need a moment to process." "I'm hallucinating." "I'm..." "I'll be right back. - double-check everything I do." " You can't treat patients... and I still feel exhausted." "Lack of delta sleep can lead to hallucinations." "Do you have any other neurological symptoms?" " I don't think so." " Aphasia?" "Memory loss?" "that one!" " Don't deflect." "He cares about you." " You shouldn't be practicing." " At least..." " Enough!" "Don't give me the look." "I told you I was hallucinating." " Who were you talking to?" " Someone who's not actually here." "Beyond that seems irrelevant." "Your mind made a choice." "It means something." "You know he's just gonna keep asking." "Good choice." "He feels bad." "You gonna help me or not?" "I could eat from this place seven days a week." "We practically do." "You can order tomorrow night." "thanks." "I have my husband's sperm." "Your dead husband's?" "We froze it when he got diagnosed." "And you kept it?" "All this time?" "then... - but..." " What if it goes wrong?" "What if I turn out to be a radical anarchist with a secret family and that I age backwards?" "Nobody plans on getting divorced." "I didn't plan on my husband dying." "But he did." "So you're saying you want a prenup... in liquid form." "What if it's not sleep apnea?" "Trauma from your motorcycle accident?" "Vicodin abuse? which means you know you're wrong about sleep apnea." "You're scared." "Tell him you're scared." "I can't sleep with you here." "Did it work?" "Do you see someone standing beside me?" "no." "So what's next on your list of things it's not?" "Patient's not responding to the antibiotics." "Still can't breathe." "So run a test to confirm it's pneumonia." "We can't do a bronc because her lungs are still collapsed." "Transtracheal aspiration." " That's basically waterboarding." " It is pretty radical." "It's a great idea." "or me out of my mind radical?" "Somewhere between regular and you." "So what's the problem?" "Everything okay?" "Our patient can't breathe." "Either do the test or come up with a better one. or pills." "Schizophrenia usually manifests younger." "That's why it's further down the list." "I can confirm an infection with a simple blood test." "An infection can be treated..." "cured." "Means you still got a job." "Means you still got a life." "just a nicer one." "This the rational you talking?" "Can't do this on my own." "it's gonna feel like you're drowning." "But it'll be over in a few seconds." " Then it'll be better?" " A little." "Hold her shoulders down a little." "Ready?" "You're doing great." "Here comes the liquid." "I slipped." " No." " What?" "Her skin came off." "Her skin is sloughing off faster than we can replace it with the artificial." " Could be autoimmune." " A.N.A. was negative." " Focus on the lungs." " You want us to ignore the fact that she's lost 80% of her skin?" "We know it's not lung cancer." "eats through to the lungs." "get a biopsy." "We can't just ignore the skin." "It's obviously the most significant and dangerous symptom right now." "I don't think it is a symptom." "I think we caused it." " By doing what?" " I prescribed antibiotics." "Toxic epidermal necrolysis that's a one-in-a-million reaction." "maybe this is the one." "Get swabs of her old skin to confirm." " Where the hell were you?" " I do have a practice." "Ballerina has toxic epidermal necrolysis." " Are you sure?" " About to be." "You didn't do anything wrong." "You prescribed antibiotics." "Any other doctor would've done the same thing." "you know." "I have no reason to feel guilty." "It doesn't make any sense... unless there's something wrong in the limbic area of my brain." " Guilt as a symptom?" " It's consistent with M.S. I have to apologize." "then you're right." "I was feeling an emotion." "If I feel nothing... it means my limbic brain is shot." "I'm Dr. House." "Anyone explain to you your status?" "cancer." "They said they think they can treat it and that the skin is starting to take." "I'll be able to dance again." "and she's wondering if she'll ever pile again?" "Healthy priorities." "Let the mocking begin." "I'm sorry." "I... treated you for an infection before confirming that you had one." "That's why you lost your skin." "I know you're in pain." "I know that I caused it." "I'm sorry." "Very nice." "Thank you?" "Nothing." "Maybe you didn't mean it." "I meant it." "Did you do a liver biopsy to confirm..." "Couldn't." "The artificial skin was too thin." "She'd bleed out." " Why were you talking to the patient?" " I think skinless women are hot." "Do a transjugular liver biopsy." "at least it stays in her veins." "Did you just check with Wilson again?" "I felt nothing." "It's M.S." "but the other person." " In order to make you feel better." " Fine." "or is guilt enough to start filling prescriptions?" "Last mass about a centimeter to your right." " Problem?" " Short burst of flutter." " We're almost done." " Entering the right hepatic vein." "Cameron kept her dead husband's sperm." "She doesn't like yours?" "She likes his better." "Or at least she... wants to hang on to it in case mine is... unfaithful or something." "Advancing two centimeters." "You got to let her do it." "you'll be stuck with her forever." "I want to be stuck with her forever." "She married a dying guy." "She has issues." "You... cannot leave her... you're the guy who killed her kids." "That's not a good rhythm." "Get out." "Narrow complex tachycardia..." "she's gonna crash." "The biopsy was negative for cancer but the procedure sent her heart into a-fib." "We don't know it was the biopsy that caused the problem." "Maybe the heart caused the lungs to collapse." "Why is Wilson here?" "You were looking for cancer." "Thought it'd be helpful." " We didn't find cancer." " Yes." "Which you reported to me 5 seconds ago." "I'd let him finish his hors d'oeuvre before getting the bouncer to take care of him." "we can't get any meaningful pictures." "So we can't..." "Metoprolol can correct irregular heart" "Tried it." "Didn't work." "Is Cuddy making him oversee..." "Heart's too irregular for MRI." "Other scans would..." "Then you're making him oversee your choices." "You don't trust yourself." "Why?" "get out." " Are you sure?" "Do I need your approval to throw you out?" "You happy now?" "There's only one time her heart's gonna be perfectly still and that's when she's dead. severe mental illness and vicodin are all that's left." "Mental illness means..." "you can no longer practice medicine." "which means pain which means you can no longer practice medicine." "Are you saying we should kill her?" "we could get our pictures and then restart it." " What if we can't restart it?" " Then she stays dead." "We restart hearts all the time." "It'll take four minutes for us to MRI her entire heart." "And we only have three minutes until there's brain damage." "You sure about this?" "We're gonna stop her heart so I can MRI it." "I think it was her idea." "and it almost killed the patient." "Her?" "Kutner was secretly a woman." "That's why he killed himself." "It's Amber." "Your subconscious picked my dead girlfriend?" "The irrational part of my brain works like the rational part of yours." "How about that?" "It... raises questions." " It answers questions." " Who cares?" "I've got competing ideas." "They can't both be right." "Everybody gets competing ideas." "Everybody has doubts." "or me out of my mind radical?" "It's on the upper end of you radical." "Do you have any alternative?" "Nothing that anyone in my head has come up with." " Then you're as safe as you can be." " Great." " You get the L.P. results back?" " Yeah." "I checked vicodin levels..." "way too high." " I need the pills." " Not an argument." "He knows that." "It could still be schizophrenia." "you're not gonna be able to practice." "I know." "You'd prefer electroshock therapy to rehab?" "I'd prefer something that could actually work." " You're rationalizing." " No kidding." "but electroshock... that overly earnest tone." "or worse." "Worse?" "Double death?" "but you damage the only thing you care about... your rational mind." "I'll make some calls." "I'll actually be dead?" "just for a little while." "Hopefully." "I had an idea." " Stop having ideas." " Insulin shock." "That's marginally less dangerous than E.C.T." " Puts you in a coma." "Could cause..." " Could work." "which you don't. none of the symptoms of Vicodin overdose." "except the "I see dead people" thing." "I've been popping pills for years." "I've only been seeing things for days." "Something changed." "Vicodin addiction is still more likely." " We're no longer dealing in absolutes." " I'll be up in five minutes." "Then we can talk about how you'd rather be in a coma than in rehab." "that'd be really helpful." "Why?" "'Cause I'm about to put myself into insulin shock." " Left atrium is fine." " Left coronary artery also fine." " We're at 3 minutes." " Continue." " Chordae tendineae clear." " Right is fine." " I start her back up." "It's over." " We have time." " Right coronary artery is fine." " The 3-minute threshold is a guideline." " She might have less." "We have to stop." " What's that by the aorta?" " I see nothing." " I'm restarting it." "That's a shadow." "Two centimeters..." "You're only scared because you know this is gonna work." "We're over three minutes." "I need glucose in here!" "You could've died." "It worked." "Where are my pants?" "Are you sure?" "She's been everywhere I've been for days." "ergo..." " This was not the next rational step." "Now who's being biased?" "You wanted me to detox as much as I wanted..." " I forgot how to do my zipper." " Any other neurological deficits?" "You don't seem to annoy me as much as usual." "Not sure that's a deficit." "And..." "I'm all better." " Is she really gone?" " Absolutely." "I can feel myself repressing all kinds of icky things." "don't I?" "Damn." "He didn't see anything." "He saw an artifact on the monitor." "It was a shadow on her heart." "She'd already been technically dead for three minutes." "I thought keeping her alive took precedence" " over prolonging the photo op." " Any brain damage?" "all tests indicate..." " Obviously you had more time." "Best of luck." "I assume we can't kill her again and take more pictures." " You'll want to check with Wilson?" " Good one." "scar tissue." "infection." "Explains why it's invisible in blood." "sealed off." "the problem with speculation - which really doesn't affect me at all." " We have to guess." "It's all we've got." "We can't do a biopsy." "she had a major cardiac event." "Which just leaves..." "What are you looking for?" "I don't know yet." "The picture doesn't change." "She lies there in pain." "He sits there worried." "Nothing changes." "I just had an epiphany... all by myself." " Popped into my head out of nothing." " Care to share?" " He's too devoted." " Too devoted?" "I'm being cynical. theoretically true." " But gonorrhea fits better." " No." "No STDs." "We tested her." " You tested her blood." " That is the test." "That's not where her problem is. got walled off in an abscess." "It'd be invisible." "And... would look like a shadow." "but we can check Prince Charming." "cut the abscess out of her heart." "extra well-done." "Molly." "And another beer when you get a chance." "I'm celebrating." "Alone?" "Thank goodness." "Don't tell me." "I was right." "Yep." "Boyfriend has gonorrhea." " And everyone's a winner." " He's not too happy about it." "He insists he's never cheated and must've gotten it from her." " Don't think so." " Timing would fit." "and she's dying." " Lying would fit too." "He's not hanging out in her room anymore." "What does it matter?" "You were right." "We're prepping her for surgery." "I saw guilt in him." "If he's not actually guilty... then I wasn't right." "I was lucky." "You made a brilliant deduction about her heart." "And if I was just lucky..." "Enjoy yourself" "It's later than you think" "Enjoy yourself" "While you're still in the pink" "The years go by" "As quickly as a wink" "Enjoy yourself" "Wilson... come get me." "It's later than you think" "I know a nice facility outside Philly." "I went to undergrad with one of the directors." "How many shirts do I need?" "They said three." "They have laundry." "Like living with mom again..." "delightful." "It's probably Foreman." "He's unavailable." "Tell her the infection's made her septic." "We can't remove the abscess until we get her B.P. up." "And it's not responding to fluids." " It's not..." " He's off the case." " Patient okay?" " Yeah." "He's lying." "Why don't I feel scared?" "I'd say you're unaware of what you're feeling at this moment." "I feel like crap." "but I don't feel scared... not of the rehab anyway." "We've always been able to find a way to cheat." "It won't work." "You want it to work this time." "Do we?" "It's your only option." "What do I do if my only option won't work?" "You don't give up." "It's either that or electroshock every six hours." "Wilson." " Let's put her on a heart-lung machine?" " She's septic." "We don't need a heart-lung machine." "We need a "blood vessel holder together" machine." "We could try high-dose dopamine." "It's a vasoconstrictor." "It'll close the blood vessels so she won't bleed out." "Her heart can't take that much dopamine." "It'll explode." "it'll implode." "Is House really done?" "It sounded that way." "Dopamine it is." "and I'm tired." "Can we get to the talking part of this conversation?" "I quit." "Great. so... bigger desk... or whatever other stupid thing you're about to demand is gonna have to wait until..." "You can go suckle the little bastard child who makes you feel good about yourself." "Screw you." "Don't do this." "I'm hallucinating." "From the vicodin?" "Ruled out everything else." "We can... admit you through the E.R. under a pseudonym." " No one has to..." " I'll cheat... find some way to keep using." " These people know what they're doing." " These people don't know me." "You do." "She's not your keeper." "She has no responsibility for you." "I need you." "Let me call my babysitter." " Blood pressure's 90 over 60." " We know." "I'm just saying." " It's still 90 over 60." "It's holding." " Abscess is intact." "Doesn't look like any of the surrounding tissue is affected." "She's gonna be fine." "Doctor." "We've got a problem." "Lie down." "I'll get you some tea." "Then I'll be better." "Do you really think she hasn't searched this place for your secret stash?" "I already did this room... and the bathroom and your bedroom." "in the kitchen?" "Coffee cup in... in the top shelf." "That was a test." "I already did the kitchen." "given her everything." " There's more." " Don't!" "You're hurting already." "It'll only get worse. because you won't have the will to tell me in two hours." "My shoes in the closet." "It's like I don't even know who you are anymore." "It's okay." "Hold my hand." "Am I okay?" "We were able to successfully remove the abscess from your heart." "But the dopamine caused the blood vessels in your hands and feet to clamp shut." "or the gangrene will spread." "You'll die." "My feet?" "And your hands." "I'm sorry." "No." "I'm a dancer." "The tissue can't be saved." "We know what House would do." "House would have never woken her up to ask for consent." "don't ask." "I know." "Maybe we can get the boyfriend to convince her." "boyfriends get everything they want." "Forget it." "The boyfriend doesn't want to talk to her anymore." " Where are you going?" " Home." "The case is over." "it's not." "Not until we come up with something that might work." "It's a shame that she might die because House has some personal crap to work through. and we weren't smart enough to get the answer without him." "False alarm." "Drink this." "That's your advice... drink this?" "It's Ginger." "It'll ease the nausea." "You know what would calm the nausea?" "Vicodin... marijuana... a coma." "Don't pretend you didn't see it." "which means you saw it." "Send her away." "Too bitter." "I already had enough bitter." "I'll add some Honey." "You're pathetic." "just send her home. because that would be admitting defeat to her." "this is interesting." "you don't deserve her. you don't deserve anyone." "This isn't gonna work." "It might work." "That's all we're going for." "Vasodilators can..." "Big jump from reopening to reanimating." "I'm out of the ulnar." "I'm not seeing any clearing." "This won't work." "This probably won't work." " Radial artery's really tight." " Don't go too fast." "she loses the hand." "she's dead." " I can't believe it." " What?" "It might be working." "Can you stop?" "The breathing." "air goes out." "Then use your nose." "You're supposed to feel like crap." "You're doing great." "And after?" "You come back to work." "What if I can't?" "Opioid dependency can make you think you have more pain than you really have." "You're gonna be okay." "You're telling me what I want to hear with no evidence." "I'm telling you what I believe to be the truth." "With no evidence." "You're hardly the most unbiased observer." "Neither are you." "I'm your hospital's biggest asset." "Is that why you think I'm here?" "It's why you're here." "It's why you're lying to me about..." "I haven't lied to you in 20 years." "Sure you have." "Which means that you said that because you want to tell me what you lied to me about 20 years ago." "You're an ass." "Am I wrong?" "I wasn't in your endocrinology class." "You sat next to me." "I cheated off you on..." "I audited your endocrinology class." "Why would you..." "Because I thought you were an interesting lunatic even then." "I'm not here protecting hospital property." "We're alone." "We've been alone all night." "I mean Amber." "She's gone." "Where's Jeremy?" "He left." "You okay?" "The surgery worked." "Congratulations." "I can't do it." "You have doubts." "You don't?" "that's... naive." "I want to spend the rest of my life with you." "I love you. but..." "I don't... know." "I'll wait until you do." "I can't know." "No... no one knows." "I do." "I'll see you in later?" "I have some papers to push for you." "don't you?" "I always want to kiss you." "0000"