"Coming at you, Chris." "One bird in a basket special, white meat, no wings." " A1?" " Yeah." "No." "Jerk sauce if you can." "Sure." "How come you get so pumped when the cranes blow through town?" "Shelly, cranes carry this heavy mystical baggage." "They're icons of happiness and fidelity." "The Vietnamese believe cranes cart our souls up to heaven on their wings." "I don't know." "They just don't grab me." "Now, bears..." "I can watch 'em at the dump for hours." "Yeah." "Birds just don't cut it." "Sometimes I wish they'd find another way to head south, 'cause I see them up there winging it along and they make me feel more earthbound, like the flightless bird that I am." "Hon', I'm short a quarter for the cig machine." "Mind changing a 20 for me?" " No prob." " Thanks." "I've been digging butts for the last 300 miles." "There hasn't been a decent place to squat." "Ok." "Here you go." "Ten, five, one, two, three, four and four quarters." " Thanks." " Sure." "Look at this mess!" "I've more junk in this bag than Sanford and Sons." "I don't believe it." "Here it is." "I knew I had change." " I suppose I'll need my 20 back." " Right." "Okay." "Sorry." "I'd forget my head if it wasn't pasted on." "Forgetting something else aren't you darling?" " What?" " The change from that 20." "For crying out loud." "It's right here in my hand." " What I tell you?" "Brain fry." " Ten-four" "Well... incidentally, maybe you can help me." "I'm looking for Holling Vincoeur." "He's not hear now." "He's at the swamp taking pictures of the cranes." "Bird watcher, huh?" "Dynamic." " Who are you?" " Jackie Vincoeur." " Vincoeur?" " That's Holling's name." "What a coincidence!" "I'm his daughter." "NORTHERN EXPOSURE 4x07 "THE BAD SEED" Subtitles subXpacio" "Hey, Maurice." "What are you doing here?" "Don't you hey me, Chigliak." " You've got some nerve!" " What's wrong?" "What's wrong?" "Where's page 82?" "Half of chapter 3 is lopsided." "And page 107 has a big line down it." " It does?" " Yes it does." "Didn't you follow through with this?" "This is an embarrassment here." " I'm sorry Maurice." " Sorry?" "Do you think sorry landed a man on the moon?" "Or built the Trans-Alaska pipeline?" "Or brought oil down from Point Barrow?" " No." " No." ""Sorry " was not in those people's vocabulary." "You know why?" "Because they had a job to do and they took great pride in doing it." "Do you know what this is?" " Your memoirs?" " My contribution to posterity." "My gift to future generations." "I orbited the globe." "You only had to go to the copy machine." "And what did you do?" " Fail?" " Utterly." "God is in the details, Ed." "No job is too small, from president to street sweeper." "We all pull our weight." "That's why..." "Are you hearing anything I'm saying?" " Ed?" " Just a minute, Maurice." "Are you listening to me?" "She's back." " Who?" " Princess." "Princess?" "Here you are ma'am." "Double Gran Marnier, soda back." "Sure I can't interest you in a snack after your long drive?" "No thanks chief." "Maybe later." "Well, God save the Queen." "With kids like hers, she needs it." "Sit down babe." " Now ma'am..." " Jackie." "I don't mean to be unkind, Jackie, but I'm afraid you're mistaken." "I don't have any children." "Somebody's mistaken, but it's not me." "You do both have the same kind of face, you know?" " Big." " Shelly, we may have the same face, but it's not the same face." "Okay, let's try it this way." "Do you remember Patrice?" " Patrice?" " Yeah." " Who's Patrice?" " You want to fill her in?" "Patrice is an old friend from many years ago, Shelly." " How is Patrice?" " Mom?" "Dead." " Well, I'm sorry." " That's how I found out about you." "I went through her strong box after the funeral and I found this." "Old lady would die on the opening day at Hialeah." " What is it?" " A birth certificate." "Look down there under father." "What does it say?" " "Holling Gustav Vincoeur. "" " Let me see." "I got more." " Do you remember Claudine?" " Patrice's sister?" "Well, here's a letter." "It tells the whole story." "You ran off, you died in an avalanche." "You were never any good." "And that, Chief, is your life." "Where's the lady's?" "I got to take a wicked tinkle." "Right over there." "There goes your own flesh and blood Barbie." "Somebody to knit you socks in your old age and send you cards in the rest home." "Denver today?" "I have ham." "The birds will coming soon." "Better put up some more sundried tomatoes." "A new frying pan?" "I liked the old one." "More toast?" "The old one was better." "It was aluminum." "Aluminum gives you Alzheimer's." "Maybe, but the bottom was copper." "Copper turns green." "Hi Marilyn, how are you doing?" "Fine." "You got some suitcases." " Where are you going?" "On a trip?" " No." " I need a house." " You need a house?" " You don't live in your mother's?" " I moved out." " Do you have one?" " A house?" "Nothing I can think of, not right off hand." " But I can make some calls." " Good." "You mean right now?" "Okay." "Right now." "Why not?" "Gotcha." "I have checked the blood work, Holling, and I reach the same conclusion:" "the woman is your daughter." "It can't be." "Sudden dadhood's got him spooked Dr. Fleischman." "You and Jackie are AB negative, an extremely uncommon blood type" "And your HLA's are identical." "It's funny how much you and Jackie look alike." "It's uncanny." "But I just don't understand." "There's got to be a mistake." "Human lymphocytic antigens are extremely different." "Unless of course there is a kinship." "And with yours and Jackie's there's an identical match." "If you want, we can pursue a DNA analysis in Anchorage, but it's expensive and I think unnecessary." "HLA testing is 99% accurate." "It's admissible in any court as proof of paternity." " Is it hot in here?" " Hot?" "I feel like I've got a cinder block on my chest." " Sit down here." " I can't breath." "I understand how upsetting this must be to have a full grown daughter suddenly appear, but..." "I am not Jackie's father." "I can't be." "Don't you see?" "I can't father children." " Why not?" " Because I'm..." "I'm sterile." " Sterile?" " You're sterile?" " Sterile." " What makes you think that?" "I don't just think it." "I know it for a fact." " At 17 I had the mumps." " So?" "Well, you know." "My testicles, they ballooned up, big." " Like granny apples." " Yeah." "There's only a 50% chance of infertility with a post adolescent onset of mumps." "Holling, you've just been thrown for a loop." "Your little soldiers are still armed and dangerous." " There's more." " More?" "Back in the 50's in Manitoba, there was a woman determined to bear me a child." " Who?" " It doesn't matter now." "She's in a home in Ontario." "So my friend unbeknownst to me she carried my sperm within her to her physician." " No kidding?" " The doctor called me to his office and sat down right opposite me, just like you are now, and he said:" ""I've got some very unfortunate news for you." "I have examined your semen and your sperm is deformed." "You can never father a child. "" "No." "It's true." "Interesting, but he must have missed something, because Jackie is unquestionably your daughter." "Shelly?" "Shelly." "Shelly!" "Shelly." "Wait up." "I know it's got to be a shock." "You better believe it's a shock!" "To find out I have a daughter almost twice as old as you are." " I love having a daughter." " Then what is it?" "Is it Patrice?" " Who?" " Her mother." "The woman I sired Jackie with." " Oh please." " Shelly." "I was a young man, green and foolish." "I don't care about your other girlfriends." " I don't care if Jackie is 150." " Then what is it?" "You lied to me, Holling." "You thought you were sterile and you didn't tell me." " Yes, but..." " How could you do that?" "All this time I thought I was sterile." " And you let me think it." " I thought it was for the best." "The best?" "The best for who?" "I..." "It's no secret Shelly." "The kind of stock that I'm made of." "The Vincoeurs are a bad lot." "We carry a bad seed." "Vicious, cruel,..." "I was determined to have the whole rotten line end with me." "It's one thing to be from a line of snakes and roaches." "But to let me believe that I was a dud?" "That my womb wouldn't bear any fruit?" " Shelly..." " When all the time it was you." "You're the one who couldn't get a seed planted." "You." "Not me." "You." "So this is the living room." "Nice southern exposure, good light." "Look at all these electrical outlets." "I wish I had a few of these." "You could put the kitchen table in right there." "You're near the kitchen and you'd have a nice view out the window." "The heating should be pretty good with this flooring." "But you know what, Marilyn?" "You might want to replace this and put some storm windows in, put some sealing around the doorway and some 15 insulation up in the attic." "Take it as a home improvement deduction, save money both ways." " Do people come visit?" " Visit?" "The house?" "Well, let's see." "John Cane lived here before, the snowplower." "He had a nephew." "I think he came to visit a few times." "Where were we?" "Anyway, moving on..." "Big kitchen, huh?" "Airy, lots of counter space, cabinets." "There's a bit of dry rot on the sills here, but you can take it down with sandpaper." "Should be okay." " The stove?" " Yeah, it's a good one." "Four burners, self cleaning." "You have a lot of space for a good sized refrigerator." "It makes the air nervous." "The stove?" "You know, I guess it needs a good scrubbing." "A little Brillo and hot water and it'll come right back." "It should be over there." "Nervous?" "Here we are." "Back where we started." "Marilyn, what do you say?" " Do you like it?" " No." "Ok." "May I ask why?" "Sure." "So I sell the junk, a '73 Dodge Duster, and one of those creepy old lady cameo things and put my inheritance on a 20 to 1 from an OTB running muddy out of Belmont and he comes in." "I strung on that money for three months." "Cool!" "Then the links on my frigging chain broke." "You know how it is." "I put my compass on north and here I am." "To find your long last dad." "Even if he is a top ten B.S.er." "I can handle him." "Look at him over there." "Watching me like a warden." "I'll show you a shot you can make a little change with." "You play this one on the boys." "The hornier the better." "In other words, the tighter your jeans, the bigger the bet." "Got my drift?" "Okay." " Dave, couple more wet ones here." " Okay." "Maurice, do you notice anything amiss about my daughter?" "She cusses like sailor." "Not a flattering feminine trait as far as I'm concerned." "One minute she says she's selling timeshares in Reno, the next thing I know she's between jobs." "She says she lives in Oakland then she's talking about Houston." "She asked me are me and Shelly married and wants to know how much the bar's taking in." "Knows her way around a deck of cards." "She cleaned my clip." "What about this funny money?" "The corners are all 20s, but you turn it over, it's 1 dollar bill." "Jackie did this?" "Have you noticed she looks a lot like Shelly, only with more miles on her?" "She does not look like Shelly at all." "Well I noticed a remarkable resemblance." "Maurice, would you excuse me for a minute, please?" "Sure." "I fixed you ladies a little something." "Wouldn't want all those beers sloshing around on empty stomachs?" "We don't want tuna melts." "We want shrimp in the baskets, right Jackie?" "And crisp up those fries this time, Chief." "I'll see to it with my own hands." "And I need change for the juke box." "I left my cash upstairs." "4 quarters will do it." "Remind me to give you a check for those phone calls to George." " Your bookie?" " That's right Chief." "Holling, some elbow room please." "You're blocking my shot." "Marilyn, guess how many sperm in a cubic centimeter." "That's like the size of a jelly bean." "No idea?" "15 million." "15 million sperm." "It's like twice the population of New York City." "We're talking about the human reproductive system." "This is fascinating stuff." "What could be more compelling?" " HG." " HG." "That's right." " How's the hunting?" "Find a place?" " No." "You've seen enough of them." " What are you looking for?" " My dream house." "Your dream house?" "What does that mean?" "Everybody has a dream house." " I don't." " No?" "No." "I've always lived in an apartment." "Austin St. Queens, Upper West Side." "For a brief time a loft sublet in Soho." " Hey." " O'Connell." "What can I do for you?" "Lance a boil?" "Remove a corn?" "As a matter of fact Fleischman, I'm here to see Marilyn." "Ok." "Marilyn, I have found a great place." "A little ranch house just out of town." "Quiet, an acre and a half, plenty of room for a garden." " I don't think so." " Marilyn, it's perfect." "There's even a two car garage for the ostriches." " It's a ranch." " Alright." "Let's back up a minute." "I've shown you a number of houses, none of which have been right." "Why don't you describe to me exactly what you're looking for?" "It has to have two floors." "Ok." "Pointed roof." " Big vegetable garden." " Right." "A lavender kitchen." " Sauna." " Okay." "Well I'll keep looking." "I'll see if I can find it." " Okay." " Okay." "Bye." "Cards are kind of cold for you today, huh?" " Want to double down, big boy?" " Payday's not 'till Thursday." "You're not going anywhere." "Not going anywhere!" "Split 'em and hit me one more time." " Shelly..." " Get me a margarita, Chief." "And Holling, a couple bags of BBQs." "Shelly, do you have any idea how much longer you'll be playing?" "I could use a little relief at the bar." "You should have thought of that before, Holling." "Me and Jackie are going over To Weed Patch." "She's playing in the backgammon tourney." "Holling, don't you think they look a lot alike?" "Same hair, same eyes, same teeth." "No." "I don't think they look anything alike." "Plus she's got a strange way of dealing with other people's money." " Just what are you saying?" " You're a cheat." "That's what I'm saying." "You're a lowdown no good cheat." " Is that right?" " That's right." "That's your daughter you're talking to, Holling." "Go on." "Say it, you big hick." "You, overgrown hillbilly." "You miserable excuse of a man." " I ought to..." " Go on." "Go on." "You've been wanting to give me a knot on my head for a long time." "Take your best shot." "Go on." "Do it!" "What are you?" "Chicken?" "I..." "I'm sorry." "What a wimp!" "There you go, princess." "Some nice tasty worms to fatten you up for your journey." "I've never seen one of these cranes up close." "It's true." "They look at you like they're reading your mind." "What do you think princess?" "Any birds in my past lives?" "I remember when I used to feed her mashed worms with a turkey baster and she was just a baby, right here in the palm of my hand." "How did you guys meet up?" "I was down at the lagoon collecting mosquitoes for my extensive collection." "There were a bunch of cranes and she just came right over." " Good vibes?" " Yep." "Then I tried to get her to leave." "but she thought I was her mom." "Now on every migration, she just stops by for a visit." "Like a cross species thing, huh?" "You know that guy in Pensacola." "He fell in love with a dolphin." "I don't know if he tied the knot, but..." "He bought some beachfront property and she kept her last name." "We got some company." "Come here, Birdy, come here." "Hey big fella, flap those wings on over here." " We got fresh meal worms for you." " No, don't encourage him." "Why not?" "Well." "Look at the way he's looking at her." " What way is that, Ed?" " He's giving her the eye." " No kidding." "You can tell that?" " You can't?" "Not really." "You sure?" "Yeah." "She's too young to go steady." "I don't know Ed." "That Romeo doesn't think so." "It's got to happen sometime." "All these birds are flying by 2 by 2." " But Princess here is all alone." " That's true." "Don't be shy, girl." "That guy just needs encouragement." "Come on." "No." "See?" "She won't go." "A girl can't be too picky these days." " Cranes mate for life Chris." " Big commitment for a first date." "Oh yes." "Make a mistake, you get divorce lawyers, community property." "It's a mess!" "Chris in the morning on K-Bear." "I got a couple billboard items from the K-Bear billboard." "Ravioli workshop at the Theosophy society this weekend." "Bring your own ravi-roller." "Steelhead are running on the upper fork of the Chukamak." "That's exciting!" "Greg George wants everybody to know his wife Jenny is recovering nicely after their blowout." "I guess everyone knows by now our avian brothers are back to roost on the first leg of their annual sojourn in the south." "Why them and not us?" "Maybe it's because us humans are meant to be rooted in one spot." "1978, Wheeling, West Virginia." "Nice Autumn, just like this one." "It's like a genetic calling." "Every fiber in my being said, "Chris, follow the sun. "" "Did I listen?" "No." "A couple weeks later" "I'm pinched for boosting records at the Joy King." "They slapped this bird in a cage with no swing and no window." "Now here I am, many miles, many years later." "A free man facing a cold bitter winter." "Am I heading south?" "Am I following the sun?" "No, I'm not." "Is this glass radio booth any less of a cage?" "Here's one from me." "Hey Ed, what's up?" " Chris, I don't know what to do." " Join the club." "I tried to be a good influence to Princess." "I raised her the best way I knew how." "Gave her everything she needed." "Mashing her insects, keeping her warm." "When she went and flew south, with the rest of her flock, I figured my job was complete." "It is." "You did a fine job." "She's an excellent bird." "I don't think so, Chris." "She's confused." "She doesn't know who she is." "You were right." "She should be mated right now." "She should have a family of her own." "What's she do?" "She follows me around." "Well, maybe she's just a late bloomer." "This morning I tried to fix it up between her and the guy bird." "Dug some fresh worms, lured him over to her." "What did she do?" "Turns up her nose." "Couldn't relate at all." "You know what I'm afraid of?" "She's gonna end up a lonely geek, just like Liza Minnelli." "In "The Sterile Cuckoo"." "Yeah." "Did you try the crane dance?" " The crane dance?" " It's an ancient Indian ritual." " It is?" " Yeah." "Indians like yourself do it all the time." " We have?" " Yeah Ed." "You got to get your bird up and dance with her, you got to flip the switch on her hormonal motor." "I never heard of that." "Ed, she will be strutting her stuff so fast that Romeo won't know what hit him." "Yeah." "Come in." " Joel?" " Hey Holling." " You wanted to see me?" " Yeah, come on in." "Have a seat." " Can I get you anything?" " No, I'm fine Joel." "Okay." "Well, I just wanted to..." "You know, check in." "See how things were going." "You've had some pretty traumatic changes in your life, huh?" "Well yes." "I appreciate that Joel." "Truth is it's been very unnerving." "You were absolutely right." "Jackie is a true Vincoeur, through and through." "And her presence has confirmed my worst fears about our lineage." "She drinks to excess." "She smokes." "She cusses, gambles and cheats." "And she's no good for Shelly." "She's a terrible influence on her." "Shelly came home in the wee hours, stinking of bourbon and tobacco and Shelly doesn't smoke." "I know what she's doing." "Can't altogether blame her for it." "She's trying to get back at me for being sterile." "Or not sterile or..." "You know what I mean." "Yeah." "That's exactly what I wanted to talk to you about." "What is it Joel?" "I've discussed your case with some andrologists." "These are specialists in the field." "And we all find this rather compelling." "You're diagnosed as sterile, and then you sire a child." "It's a confusing situation." "Yes, it is." "With your cooperation, I'd like to explore your case a little further." "I appreciate that, Joel." "Excellent." "That's what I was hoping you would say." "The first thing we'll need is a sample." " Come again?" " No." "Once will be sufficient." "We need to look at some of your sperm." " Sperm?" " Yeah." "Head on in there, and relax." "And we'll see what's what." " You mean...?" " Right." " You want me to...?" " Yeah." " I don't know I..." "I can't." " Holling, it's not a problem." "I've got some Penthouses here." "December and November..." "Don't worry about it." "Good luck." " Joel." " Yeah, Holling?" "This may take a while." "Take as long as you need." "48, 49, 50, 51, 3, 5..." "Ok." "Vienna sausages." "We used to eat these things until they oozed out our ears." " You and your mad?" " No." "Me and my two kids." "Of course they're grown now." "They're into the long con." "Aluminum siding, pyramid sales." "Excuse me." "Can I help you girls find anything?" "No thanks." "Just window shopping." "Take your time." "So let me ask you something hon'." "What about Holling?" "How's he doing at the Brick?" " You mean moneywise?" " For starters, yeah." " Ok, I guess." " Like... how much?" "I really don't know." "After I lost 4,000 dollars on the Home Shopping Network" "I told him he'd better keep the keys to the bank." "4,000?" "That's real cash." "He works a lot of hours." " Squirrels it away, does he?" " I'll say." "Maybe he's not as slow as he looks." "I'll get him these kipper snacks." "He loves them on saltines." "Let me, hon'." " Thanks Jackie." " My pleasure." " Could I have change for this 20?" " Sure." " Ten and 2 fives okay?" " Yeah, fine." " Here you are." " Thanks." " Can I have some singles please?" " Certainly." "Okay, here we go." "One, two, three, four, five." "I gave you a ten." " Did you?" " Yes." " I'm sorry." "Will a five be okay?" " Fine." "You know what?" "Here." "Take these singles and give me back the 10." "Wait a minute." "Take the 5." "Let's start all over again." "Give me back my 20 and I'd like these kippers please." "I'm sorry." "I just lost track for a moment." "It happens." "Thanks." "Come on Shelly, let's hit it." " Bye, Ruth-Anne." " Bye, dear." "Jackie, did you just pull a fast one on Ruth-Anne?" "Of course not." "Here's the Chief's kippers." "Hello, Mrs. Whirlwind." "It's Maggie." " Hello Maggie?" " How are you today?" " Fine thank you." " How's the fall pickling coming?" "Done cabbage yesterday." "Put up 50 quarts this year." "That's a lot of cabbage." "You had a good season." " Gonna do beets tomorrow." " Pickled beets, my favorite." "In the past couple of days" "I've been showing Marilyn some properties around town." "Yes, I know." "She hasn't really like anything I've shown her." "And I've shown her some really nice properties and I'm beginning to run out of ideas." " She's hard to please." " No, see," "I don't think she wants another house." "I think she likes this house." "I don' think she really wanted to leave in the first place." "She is not coming back." " Are you sure?" " Yes." "She feels she has no say here." "You don't think you two could have a mother daughter talk?" "Work things through, iron out your differences, make some new ground rules maybe." " It's too late." " Why?" " I'm selling my house." " You're selling your house?" "But you and your family have lived here for years." "With Marilyn gone, we don't need such a big place." "We're getting an Airstream near my sister." "There are a number of parameters to evaluate a sperm sample." "Density, morphology, motility, viscosity and volume." "Jackie's everything I feared and more." "She's my worst nightmare come to haunt me." "You gave me a nice hefty ejaculate, Holling." "Very impressive. 5 CCs." "In the highest range of the volume spectrum, especially for a man your age." "Your semen liquefied immediately, which means your viscosity is fine." "Worst of all she'll ruin Shelly." "All that childlike innocence and beauty will vanish." "As you will see, your density rules out azoospermia, which is the absence of sperm, or eve oligospermia, which is reduced presence." "That's what would have happened from your mumps." "Maybe it's too late, maybe it's happened already." "This left me with morphology and motility, which is the shape and the movement of the sperm." "And that is where your problem lies." "I'm telling you Joel, the damage is done." "Once a Vincoeur gets his claws into you, it's over, you're finished." "Holling, I'm talking to you about your ejaculate." " My what?" " Your sperm." "Come here." "Have a seat." "Feast your eyes." "This is the focus here." "Those are my sperm?" "That's the marshalling of your genetic forces awaiting the call to battle." "They look all bent and broken." "They look like Gen. Robert E. Lee's troops..." " ...after the Battle of Gettysburg." " Interesting, isn't it?" "Every man has some abnormally shaped sperm anywhere up to 50%, but yours are abnormally abnormal." " Shouldn't they be moving around?" " Absolutely and with vigor." "Think of the distance a sperm has to travel in the woman it's comparable to me jogging from Manhattan to Miami Beach." "Why do these little buggers look so tuckered out?" "My best guess is it's a condition called varicocele." "In laymen's terms it means your testicles are too high." "Your scrotum is a sophisticated thermoregulator designed to keep the semen at a constant 93 degrees." "Normally it does its job, but when you get too much blood flowing from the abdomen, as it does in your case, the gonads overheat and the semen in essence, is cooked." "Then why did Jackie happen?" "This is what I'm getting at." "Take another look." "Where am I supposed to be looking?" "The upper left hand quadrant." "Swimming to your right." "Oh my God." "That's an active little devil." " Right?" " Wiggling around to beat the band." "That's the guy." "One in a million." "One just like that fertilized the egg, that's Jackie." " One in a million?" " Yeah." "Oh my..." "Shelly, those ambrosia salads are very... pretty." "Can I get you some more whip topping?" "Ok." "Here are two cans." "Thanks." "Hope I didn't put too many marshmallows in it again." "No, no, Shelly." "Your ambrosia salads are one of the most popular items on our menu." "Many of the customers on several occasions have commented to me on their appreciation of it." " Really?" " Oh, yes." "Shelly, sweetheart." "Please, you've got to forgive me." "You've got to understand how very sorry I am." "I couldn't live in my own skin if you thought I could ever mean to cause you suffering." "But I've known how much you wanted to have babies some day." "I was afraid that if I told you about my sterility that you would no longer think of me as a manly man and one day I'd wake up and you'd be gone." "Yeah, I know." " You know?" " Sure." "But you're not shooting blanks." "So, no sweat." " It's just poor Jackie." " Poor Jackie?" "When I think about her growing up dadless, not even knowing who her real father was." "My dad used to take a vacation from the trailer from time to time, but he was there when I got my ears pierced, and he was there when I totaled Tammy's GTO." "Then there's Jackie." "Alone." "Still, she's a piece of bad news Holling." "Jackie?" "I've seen "The good, the bad and the ugly", but your girl wrote the book." " Yeah?" " Jackie?" " Who is it?" " Holling." " May I come in?" " Door's open." " I'd like a word with you, Jackie." " Shoot, Chief." "Get your shoes off the beds, turn off the music, and don't call me Chief." "Woh!" "What bee flew in your fly?" "Jackie, a man dreams of having children." "Well, most men do anyway." "A son who'll carry his name, take his place in the world and a daughter." "And here you are." "My child, my daughter big as life." "Got that part right." "Jackie, I would like to have given you a home." "To have provided for your needs, to have taken my place as your father, but as you know, I never knew you existed." "Frankly, meeting you was a tremendous blow." "Cut to the chase, Chief." "I wanted to deny you, Jackie." "Reject you." "But that's changed." "I accept you." "I recognize you as my own and I want you to leave." " Now." " What?" "I look at you, my daughter and I feel nothing towards you." "Nothing parental, nothing familial, nothing." "I'm like an empty bottle with just a few bitter drops of venom inside." "Tell me something." "Why did you come here, Jackie?" " What do you want from me?" " Money." "Money?" "Is that all?" "I'm a Vincoeur." "You know what that makes me." "How much?" "Wait until you see this one, Marilyn." "It's two stories, insulated garage for your ostriches." "Big garden." " Sun?" " Plenty." "And wait until you see the kitchen." "It's big and bright." "There's a built in microwave and a walk in pantry." " Does it have a root cellar?" " A big one." " My mother's house?" " Yeah." "It is." "Looks smaller than I remember." "Is she selling it?" "Pretty much in your price range." " Needs painting." " Yeah, but it's a great location." " Railing's wobbly." " We could fix that with a couple of nails." "What do you think, Marilyn?" "I'll take it." "Good." "Enough hot water for you bath?" "Steeped like a tea bag." "I'll be down in a minute, hon'." " I can't do anything with my hair." " No need to rush." "It's a slow night." "Or maybe it just feels nice and easy with that Jackie gone." " How's this?" " Very pretty." "It shows your clean little ears." "Maybe I should just chop it off." "Sassy says short's in for fall." "No, Shelly, don't do that." "I like your hair as it is." "The way it gets in my teeth." "The way it tickles my nose." "Maybe I'll just goose up the highlights a bit." "Streak it electric blue." "Dave could probably handle the dinner traffic downstairs." "It's chili night, there's not much grill work." "What have you got on your mind, Holling Vincoeur?" "Well, I don't know." "I know a couple of things to keep your grill sizzling." "Why don't you take a seat right over there?" " Why don't you come sit with me?" " Ok." "Here I come, my big teddy bear." "Shelly, you smell so good." "It's called Palomino." "I like it." " It's been a long time." " Three whole days." "Just a second, babe." "This is for you." "Johnny's raincoat?" "The candy stripe kind." "Shelly, we've never used condoms before." " We never knew about Jackie before." " True." " I like your new house, Marilyn." " Thank you." "I mean it's a lot like your old house, only..." " Different." " Right." "Only different." "More potatoes?" "Yes, please." "These are actually quite delicious." "There's salt, butter, nutmeg, maybe?" "Salt." "It's funny that a lot of people actually associate potatoes with the Irish." "Potato soup, Potato Famine." "They're a New World discovery." "It was the Peruvian Indians that introduced the potatoes to the Spanish." " Did you know that?" " Yes, I did, Fleischman." "I remember Mr. Gerber's biology class." "We had this fish tank in the middle of the classroom." "And he would stick his hand in up to his elbow and pull it out covered with algae." "This was to get rise from the girls." "I'll never forget my first dissection." "Any of you ever dissect a frog?" " I like frogs." " Breaded with paprika." "Yeah." "Tastes like chicken." "You feel that, Ed?" " What?" " Winter." "It's a while away, but I can tell it's coming." "I can smell it, almost take a bite out of it like it's a steel bar." "You can kind of taste it." "Yeah." "Same thing every year." "I can tell it's coming, and it makes me want to run, book it south, like an instinct." "Why don't you winter down south, in Florida like those old folks in "Cocoon"?" "I'll weather out a few more winters here like the song says..." "There's she is." "Princess." "Just like you said." "Come on." "Not too fast or you'll spook her." "How you doing, doll face?" "You got your party dress on?" "It's time for this gal to fly over with the guys." "Yeah." "I know." "What do we do now?" "Now we dance." "How?" "With abandon." "Ripped by subXpacio and TusSeries"