"CAITLYN:" "Youknow,I've got five weeks until the ESPYs." "got five weeks until the ESPYs." "Scared to death of that." "Scared to death of that." "CANDIS:" "Whatareyou most" "CANDIS:" "Whatareyou most nervous about?" "nervous about?" "CAITLYN( crying):" "Myfamily." "CAITLYN( crying):" "Myfamily." "(sighs, sniffles)" "(sighs, sniffles) That's the tough part." "That's the tough part." "I want them to be proud of their" "I want them to be proud of their daddy." "daddy." "(sniffling)" "(sniffling) KHLOE:" "Wewanttosupportyou" "KHLOE:" "Wewanttosupportyou and be there for you, but we and be there for you, but we don't think that that entails don't think that that entails you speaking negatively about my you speaking negatively about my mom." "mom." "Let's not drag my mom through" "Let's not drag my mom through the mud." "the mud." "I would think you would come" "I would think you would come from a place of more compassion, from a place of more compassion, especially when you have two especially when you have two young daughters who are greatly young daughters who are greatly affected by it." "affected by it." "KIM:" "YousaidKendalland" "KIM:" "YousaidKendalland Kylie were a distraction, and" "Kylie were a distraction, and that's the most unfair thing in that's the most unfair thing in the world to say." "the world to say." "You could have had a little bit" "You could have had a little bit more respect, but I think... more respect, but I think..." "CAITLYN:" "Don't-don'tgo ..." "CAITLYN:" "Don't-don'tgo ..." "I can see where you're trying to" "I can see where you're trying to go here." "go here." "Don't go there." "Don't go there." "KIM:" "You'relosingyour" "KIM:" "You'relosingyour family." "family." "CAITLYN:" "I feelso much" "CAITLYN:" "I feelso much pressure giving this speech." "pressure giving this speech." "ABBYWAMBACH:" "Ladiesand" "ABBYWAMBACH:" "Ladiesand  gentlemen, Caitlyn Jenner." "gentlemen, Caitlyn Jenner." "(applause, cheering)" "(applause, cheering) ¶ ¶" "(Caitlyn exhales) CAITLYN:" "Krisis comingover." "CAITLYN:" "Krisis comingover." "I have not seen her, talked to" "I have not seen her, talked to her... her..." "months and months and months." "months and months and months." "(knocking)" "(birds chirping)" "Jen Rade is coming over." "She's the stylist who's gonna" "She's the stylist who's gonna help me dress for the ESPYs." "help me dress for the ESPYs." "The bottom line is I really need" "The bottom line is I really need a professional to kind of a professional to kind of coordinate everything." "coordinate everything." "And actually, she does Angelina" "And actually, she does Angelina Jolie, and I just love her look." "Jolie, and I just love her look." "Uh, very casual, very elegant." "Uh, very casual, very elegant." "She, um..." "She, um..." "So, dying to meet her." "So, dying to meet her." "(knocking)" "(knocking) Hello there." "How are you?" "Hello there." "How are you?" "JEN:" "Hi." "Oh ,my gosh." "JEN:" "Hi." "Oh ,my gosh." "CAITLYN:" "Didyoubringyour" "CAITLYN:" "Didyoubringyour  own drink?" "own drink?" "JEN:" "Couldyoubemore tall" "JEN:" "Couldyoubemore tall  and gorgeous?" "and gorgeous?" "CAITLYN:" "Oh,thankyou ,baby." "CAITLYN:" "Oh,thankyou ,baby." "How are you?" "How are you?" "Thanks for coming out." "Thanks for coming out." "Come on, let's go in the" "Come on, let's go in the bedroom, and let's talk first." "bedroom, and let's talk first." "JEN:" "That'smy favorite" "JEN:" "That'smy favorite words:" "Let's go in the bedroom." "words:" "Let's go in the bedroom." "CAITLYN:" "Herewe go ." "CAITLYN:" "Herewe go ." "Well, here we go for now." "Well, here we go for now." "JEN:" "Yes." "Oh ,my gosh,you" "JEN:" "Yes." "Oh ,my gosh,you  have a great closet." "have a great closet." "Every one of these is so pretty." "Every one of these is so pretty." "I mean, I was thinking, like," "I mean, I was thinking, like, oh, my gosh, I want to go oh, my gosh, I want to go shopping for you, but this is shopping for you, but this is beautiful." "beautiful." "CAITLYN:" "Youlikethat?" "CAITLYN:" "Youlikethat?" "This actually works quite well" "This actually works quite well with a great belt." "with a great belt." "JEN:" "Love." "JEN:" "Love." "CAITLYN:" "Fabulous." "CAITLYN:" "Fabulous." "JEN:" "Andthey'reall just..." "JEN:" "Andthey'reall just..." "I'm just really getting a sense" "I'm just really getting a sense of easy classics." "of easy classics." "CAITLYN:" "Yes." "CAITLYN:" "Yes." "JEN:" "Littlebitofa hippie" "JEN:" "Littlebitofa hippie in you." "in you." "CAITLYN:" "A littlebit,yeah." "CAITLYN:" "A littlebit,yeah." "More like a little bit, you" "More like a little bit, you know-- product of the '60s and know-- product of the '60s and '70s." "'70s." "JEN:" "Yeah,Iget it." "JEN:" "Yeah,Iget it." "CAITLYN:" "I 'vebeenthere." "CAITLYN:" "I 'vebeenthere." "JEN:" "Uh-huh." "JEN:" "Uh-huh." "CAITLYN:" "BecauseIlikejust" "CAITLYN:" "BecauseIlikejust  kind of blending in." "Um... kind of blending in." "Um..." "JEN:" "Uh,Ithinkit's a" "JEN:" "Uh,Ithinkit's a little late for that." "little late for that." "CAITLYN:" "Youthinkso?" "CAITLYN:" "Youthinkso?" "JEN:" "Yeah." "JustFYI ,little" "JEN:" "Yeah." "JustFYI ,little pause" " I think we've, yeah, pause" " I think we've, yeah, we've leaped over that hurdle we've leaped over that hurdle already." "already." "CAITLYN:" "Okay,we 'vepassed" "CAITLYN:" "Okay,we 'vepassed that point." "Okay." "that point." "Okay." "The big issue I have with the" "The big issue I have with the shoes is... shoes is..." "Okay?" "That makes me about" "Okay?" "That makes me about six-nine. (laughs) six-nine. (laughs) JEN:" "So?" "JEN:" "So?" "CAITLYN:" "Now,these..." "CAITLYN:" "Now,these..." "I don't need any more heel than" "I don't need any more heel than that." "that." "JEN:" "That's,like,are you at" "JEN:" "That's,like,are you at max heel for your... for comfort max heel for your... for comfort of height?" "of height?" "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "Seehow tallI" "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "Seehow tallI am?" "am?" "JEN:" "Itfeelsgood." "JEN:" "Itfeelsgood." "CAITLYN:" "Let'sdiscussthis." "CAITLYN:" "Let'sdiscussthis." "JEN:" "Okay." "JEN:" "Okay." "CAITLYN:" "Kindof wherewe're" "CAITLYN:" "Kindof wherewe're at." "All right?" "at." "All right?" "JEN:" "Yes." "JEN:" "Yes." "CAITLYN:" "Um...now,the next" "CAITLYN:" "Um...now,the next big thing is the ESPN ESPY big thing is the ESPN ESPY Awards." "Awards." "JEN:" "Yeah." "JEN:" "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "TheESPYsare held" "CAITLYN:" "TheESPYsare held every year to honor the world's every year to honor the world's greatest athletes and other greatest athletes and other sports-related achievements." "sports-related achievements." "This year, I'm getting the ESPY" "This year, I'm getting the ESPY Arthur Ashe Award for Courage." "Arthur Ashe Award for Courage." "Uh, I've tried to come up" "Uh, I've tried to come up-- we've been going around on we've been going around on styles, what we want to do, but styles, what we want to do, but all those things have to be" "all those things have to be coordinated." "coordinated." "JEN:" "Whatis yourlevelof," "JEN:" "Whatis yourlevelof, um... skill walking in heels?" "um... skill walking in heels?" "CAITLYN:" "I 'ma professional." "CAITLYN:" "I 'ma professional." "JEN:" "Okay." "So you'regood" "JEN:" "Okay." "So you'regood with a high heel." "with a high heel." "CAITLYN:" "I 'vebeendoingita" "CAITLYN:" "I 'vebeendoingita  long time, girl." "long time, girl." "JEN( laughs):" "Okay." "JEN( laughs):" "Okay." "CAITLYN:" "Butforsomething..." "CAITLYN:" "Butforsomething..." "JEN:" "I 'mterrible,I'm" "JEN:" "I 'mterrible,I'm terrible." "terrible." "CAITLYN:" "Somethinglikethat," "CAITLYN:" "Somethinglikethat, I wouldn't go too high," "I wouldn't go too high, something that's too difficult, something that's too difficult, 'cause you want to be... 'cause you want to be..." "JEN:" "Yes." "Go on thesafe" "JEN:" "Yes." "Go on thesafe side." "side." "CAITLYN:" "Yes." "On thesafe" "CAITLYN:" "Yes." "On thesafe side, absolutely." "side, absolutely." "JEN:" "That'sastylist's" "JEN:" "That'sastylist's nightmare." "nightmare." "CAITLYN:" "Myheartwillbe" "CAITLYN:" "Myheartwillbe pounding no matter what I do." "pounding no matter what I do." "JEN:" "Yeah." "It probablywill" "JEN:" "Yeah." "It probablywill be." "be." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah,it willbe." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah,it willbe." "I'm basically going in during" "I'm basically going in during the commercial break, 'cause I'm the commercial break, 'cause I'm not gonna do the red carpet, I'm not gonna do the red carpet, I'm not gonna do any of that." "not gonna do any of that." "JEN:" "Oh." "Okay,thatwasgonna" "JEN:" "Oh." "Okay,thatwasgonna  be my next question." "be my next question." "CAITLYN:" "Okay,because,uh, I" "CAITLYN:" "Okay,because,uh, I don't want to be out in the don't want to be out in the media where they're asking me media where they're asking me stupid questions." "stupid questions." "JEN:" "Yeah." "JEN:" "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "Sobasically,I'm" "CAITLYN:" "Sobasically,I'm  walking out, I'm sitting down." "walking out, I'm sitting down." "After the commercial break, we" "After the commercial break, we do... the thing." "do... the thing." "I get up, I give my" "I get up, I give my presentation, and then I go out presentation, and then I go out the back door and back over to the back door and back over to the hotel." "the hotel." "JEN:" "Right." "JEN:" "Right." "CAITLYN:" "Okay?" "So allthey'll" "CAITLYN:" "Okay?" "So allthey'll have is that image on stage." "have is that image on stage." "JEN:" "Right,andthat'llbe" "JEN:" "Right,andthat'llbe more powerful, it'll go further more powerful, it'll go further because it'll be all they have." "because it'll be all they have." "CAITLYN:" "I cancontrolmy" "CAITLYN:" "I cancontrolmy message." "message." "JEN:" "Yeah,it 'llbe allthey" "JEN:" "Yeah,it 'llbe allthey have to work with." "have to work with." "It should really just be about" "It should really just be about you having fun and doing it for you having fun and doing it for yourself and not to impress a yourself and not to impress a bunch of people." "bunch of people." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah,yeah." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah,yeah." "I have never been in a position" "I have never been in a position of having a speech, like, at the of having a speech, like, at the ESPYs that's right in front of" "ESPYs that's right in front of all of my peers." "all of my peers." "Biggest pressure thing I've ever" "Biggest pressure thing I've ever done." "done." "JEN:" "Isit ?" "That'sthe" "JEN:" "Isit ?" "That'sthe  biggest pressure thing?" "biggest pressure thing?" "CAITLYN:" "Probably." "Yes,yes ." "CAITLYN:" "Probably." "Yes,yes ." "After everything I've done in my" "After everything I've done in my life, yeah, this is probably life, yeah, this is probably the..." "Yeah." "the..." "Yeah." "All I got to do is get through" "All I got to do is get through it." "RONDA:" "Hey." "COURTNEY:" "Hi." "COURTNEY:" "Hi." "RONDA:" "You'reoutofhere" "RONDA:" "You'reoutofhere  soon?" "soon?" "COURTNEY:" "Yes." "COURTNEY:" "Yes." "RONDA:" "Aw." "Where's-where's" "RONDA:" "Aw." "Where's-where's Caitlyn?" "Caitlyn?" "COURTNEY:" "I thinkshe'sin" "COURTNEY:" "I thinkshe'sin the closet." "the closet." "RONDA:" "Oh." "Okay." "RONDA:" "Oh." "Okay." "Caitlyn." "Caitlyn." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah?" "CAITLYN:" "Yeah?" "RONDA:" "Weneedtofill this" "RONDA:" "Weneedtofill this  out." "out." "CAITLYN:" "Mm-hmm." "CAITLYN:" "Mm-hmm." "This is the club." "This is the club." "How are they gonna feel" "How are they gonna feel about... about..." "RONDA:" "Caitlyn." "RONDA:" "Caitlyn." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "Thisname" "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "Thisname thing is, like, gonna drive me thing is, like, gonna drive me crazy." "crazy." "RONDA:" "No,Iknow." "RONDA:" "No,Iknow." "CAITLYN:" "Mm-hmm." "CAITLYN:" "Mm-hmm." "RONDA:" "Allright,so" "RONDA:" "Allright,so you're... it's Bruce." "you're... it's Bruce." "CAITLYN:" "Oneplaceyou 're" "CAITLYN:" "Oneplaceyou 're Bruce, the other place you're" "Bruce, the other place you're Caitlyn." "Caitlyn." "RONDA:( laughs)Whatarewe" "RONDA:( laughs)Whatarewe gonna do about your locker room?" "gonna do about your locker room?" "CAITLYN:" "Couldit be anymore" "CAITLYN:" "Couldit be anymore complicated?" "!" "complicated?" "!" "No." "That's Sherwood-- we're" "No." "That's Sherwood-- we're still doing the old Bruce thing." "still doing the old Bruce thing." "RONDA:" "ButIdon 'tunderstand" "RONDA:" "ButIdon 'tunderstand why you're putting "Bruce" down why you're putting "Bruce" down as opposed to "Caitlyn."" "as opposed to "Caitlyn." I mean, really?" "I mean, really?" "CAITLYN:" "Mymembershipis" "CAITLYN:" "Mymembershipis under "Bruce."" "under "Bruce." My little Sherwood is down for" "My little Sherwood is down for construction on the golf course, construction on the golf course, and it'll be down for a long and it'll be down for a long time, and there is another golf" "time, and there is another golf course at Sherwood-- a par three course at Sherwood-- a par three course, actually-- but you course, actually-- but you have... have to join that one." "have... have to join that one." "It's, like, separate from the" "It's, like, separate from the main club." "main club." "RONDA:" "Whycan'tyou goin" "RONDA:" "Whycan'tyou goin fresh as Caitlyn?" "fresh as Caitlyn?" "CAITLYN:" "Becauseit 'sjust" "CAITLYN:" "Becauseit 'sjust not gonna work." "not gonna work." "RONDA:" "Whatareyou gonnado," "RONDA:" "Whatareyou gonnado, wear your... wear your hoodie wear your... wear your hoodie and pretend it's not... and pretend it's not..." "CAITLYN:" "Probably." "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "Probably." "Yeah." "And then once I get out on the" "And then once I get out on the course, I'll take that off." "course, I'll take that off." "RONDA:" "Areyougonnawear a" "RONDA:" "Areyougonnawear a skirt or shorts, or are you... skirt or shorts, or are you..." "CAITLYN:" "No,no ,no ,no ,no ." "CAITLYN:" "No,no ,no ,no ,no ." "Not right now" " I just-just want" "Not right now" " I just-just want to get in to do the thing." "to get in to do the thing." "JEN:" "Okay." "JEN:" "Okay." "CAITLYN:" "Solet'sjustput" "CAITLYN:" "Solet'sjustput "Bruce" down." "It's fine." ""Bruce" down." "It's fine." "RONDA:" "Allright,I'm just" "RONDA:" "Allright,I'm just saying it doesn't make any sense saying it doesn't make any sense to me, 'cause everyone's gonna to me, 'cause everyone's gonna know that you're Caitlyn and" "know that you're Caitlyn and then it's gonna be more then it's gonna be more confusing." "confusing." "CAITLYN:" "I don'thaveto" "CAITLYN:" "I don'thaveto worry about locker rooms and all worry about locker rooms and all that crap right now, which I that crap right now, which I don't want to worry about." "don't want to worry about." "I'll worry about the locker" "I'll worry about the locker rooms later on down the line." "rooms later on down the line." "RONDA:" "I-Iunderstand,but" "RONDA:" "I-Iunderstand,but  everyone's going to know that everyone's going to know that you're Caitlyn." "you're Caitlyn." "CAITLYN:" "I know,Iknow,I" "CAITLYN:" "I know,Iknow,I know, but... know, but..." "RONDA:" "Andthenthey'regonna" "RONDA:" "Andthenthey'regonna be like, "Well, I don't want be like, "Well, I don't want Caitlyn in my locker room."" "Caitlyn in my locker room." CAITLYN:" "I know,Iknow,I" "CAITLYN:" "I know,Iknow,I know." "know." "Well, that... we'll deal with" "Well, that... we'll deal with all those issues down the way." "I'm joining a..." "We have a par three course at the club." "three course at the club." "CANDIS:" "Right." "CANDIS:" "Right." "CAITLYN:" "Andso I'mgetting" "CAITLYN:" "Andso I'mgetting ready to sign the little ready to sign the little application, since the big application, since the big course is gonna be down for nine course is gonna be down for nine months." "months." "Uh, so I go and join..." "I don't" "Uh, so I go and join..." "I don't know what to say." "know what to say." "How do I write my name?" "How do I write my name?" "CANDIS:" "Whatdo youmean,how" "CANDIS:" "Whatdo youmean,how do you write your name?" "do you write your name?" "CAITLYN:" "Isit Bruce?" "CAITLYN:" "Isit Bruce?" "CANDIS:" "Well,you..." "CANDIS:" "Well,you..." "It's Caitlyn." "It's Caitlyn." "CAITLYN:" "Well,Iknowthat ," "CAITLYN:" "Well,Iknowthat , but, uh, to the club, it's a but, uh, to the club, it's a different deal." "different deal." "When it comes to the club," "When it comes to the club, honestly, it's not easy for me, honestly, it's not easy for me, okay?" "okay?" "These are all the people" " I was" "These are all the people" " I was there basically every day." "there basically every day." "It's a very conservative club," "It's a very conservative club, so I have no idea how the so I have no idea how the members are feeling towards my members are feeling towards my issue." "issue." "What are they gonna do with my" "What are they gonna do with my locker?" "locker?" "Is it going upstairs to the" "Is it going upstairs to the ladies' locker room?" "ladies' locker room?" "CANDIS:" "Well,it 'sgoingto." "CANDIS:" "Well,it 'sgoingto." "It has to." "It has to." "CAITLYN:" "ButI'mwondering" "CAITLYN:" "ButI'mwondering-- I know-- but I'm wondering," "I know-- but I'm wondering, like, these older ladies that, like, these older ladies that, you know, in their 70s and 80s, you know, in their 70s and 80s, going, "Uh... why is he in" "going, "Uh... why is he in here?"" "here?" CANDIS:" "Ourtransitions" "CANDIS:" "Ourtransitions affect different people in affect different people in different ways, and it's not different ways, and it's not about what they think, it's about what they think, it's about how you feel, because" "about how you feel, because you're living your life." "you're living your life." "They'll get over it." "They'll get over it." "You can't play both sides of the" "You can't play both sides of the fence anymore." "fence anymore." "You're way beyond that." "You're way beyond that." "Come on." "Come on." "There's no excuse-- just sign" "There's no excuse-- just sign your name as Caitlyn from now on your name as Caitlyn from now on and move on." "CANDIS:" "Comeon ,honey!" "CAITLYN:" "A newday,anew" "CAITLYN:" "A newday,anew adventure." "adventure." "CANDIS( laughs):" "Yes." "CANDIS( laughs):" "Yes." "CAITLYN:" "WegettoseeChandi" "CAITLYN:" "WegettoseeChandi today." "today." "CANDIS:" "I know." "CANDIS:" "I know." "CAITLYN:" "That'sgood." "CAITLYN:" "That'sgood." "Chandi has a program at" "Chandi has a program at Children's Hospital called" "Children's Hospital called Blush." "Blush." "They help gender-nonconforming" "They help gender-nonconforming youth." "youth." "CHANDI:" "Hi!" "CHANDI:" "Hi!" "CAITLYN:" "I 'msoexcitedto" "CAITLYN:" "I 'msoexcitedto meet this group of kids that she meet this group of kids that she works with." "works with." "CHANDI:" "Wedo getintoheavy" "CHANDI:" "Wedo getintoheavy discussions, you know." "discussions, you know." "We lay it all on the line." "We lay it all on the line." "'Cause that's the only way" "'Cause that's the only way they'll work it out." "they'll work it out." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "Ilikethat ." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "Ilikethat ." "CHANDI:" "Mm-hmm." "Mm-hmm." "CHANDI:" "Mm-hmm." "Mm-hmm." "CAITLYN:" "Let'sgo meetthem." "CAITLYN:" "Let'sgo meetthem." "CHANDI:" "Let'sgo ." "CHANDI:" "Let'sgo ." "In our support group, we talk" "In our support group, we talk about all the different about all the different struggles, um, that they go struggles, um, that they go through, and we make sure that through, and we make sure that they're doing the things that" "they're doing the things that they need to do to get they need to do to get themselves to the next level." "themselves to the next level." "Some of them need that love," "Some of them need that love, because the love that they've because the love that they've received at home wasn't any." "received at home wasn't any." "It was, "Get out."" "It was, "Get out." Let's welcome our special guest." "Let's welcome our special guest." "CAITLYN:" "Oh,my God,there's" "CAITLYN:" "Oh,my God,there's that many?" "that many?" "(laughter, applause)" "(laughter, applause) Hello, everybody!" "Hello, everybody!" "(whooping)" "(whooping) Look at this group." "Look at this group." "I just have to say one thing." "I just have to say one thing." "I love Chandi." "I love Chandi." "CHANDI:" "Oh." "CHANDI:" "Oh." "(laughter)" "(laughter) WOMAN:" "Sodo we ." "WOMAN:" "Sodo we ." "CAITLYN:" "Shehastaughtmeso" "CAITLYN:" "Shehastaughtmeso  much, and so you're very lucky much, and so you're very lucky to have her in your life." "to have her in your life." "WOMAN:" "Yeah." "WOMAN:" "Yeah." "CHANDI:" "Thankyou." "CHANDI:" "Thankyou." "CAITLYN:" "Wheredo yougofrom" "CAITLYN:" "Wheredo yougofrom  there, right?" "there, right?" "CHANDI:" "Yeah,wheredoyou" "CHANDI:" "Yeah,wheredoyou go, where do you go?" "go, where do you go?" "I guess what we're gonna get" "I guess what we're gonna get started talking about is: who started talking about is: who in the group has had their names in the group has had their names changed, and how was that changed, and how was that process for you?" "process for you?" "SAM:" "Forthepaperstobe" "SAM:" "Forthepaperstobe  filed, it took me, like, two filed, it took me, like, two weeks here, and then to wait for weeks here, and then to wait for a court date, it can take them," "a court date, it can take them, like, a year, year and a half." "like, a year, year and a half." "Some people are still waiting." "Some people are still waiting." "CHANDI:" "Sohowhas itbeen" "CHANDI:" "Sohowhas itbeen  for those of you who have your for those of you who have your I.D. not matching who you are?" "I.D. not matching who you are?" "Jessica?" "Jessica?" "JESSICA:" "Withvolunteering" "JESSICA:" "Withvolunteering and working, sometimes it can and working, sometimes it can get a little bit intimidating." "get a little bit intimidating." "Do you put your legal name on" "Do you put your legal name on the application, and then the application, and then they're expecting something they're expecting something else." "else." "They see "Jason," but then they" "They see "Jason," but then they see "Jessica."" "see "Jessica." It's like, "What?"" "It's like, "What?" So they don't really understand." "So they don't really understand." "CHANDI:" "Okay." "Thereare still" "CHANDI:" "Okay." "Thereare still many obstacles in our community many obstacles in our community with having your I.D. match your with having your I.D. match your authentic self." "authentic self." "Luckily there have been some" "Luckily there have been some laws that have passed recently laws that have passed recently that allow less paperwork, but that allow less paperwork, but getting a court date, it's, getting a court date, it's, like, a year." "like, a year." "So it kind of makes that" "So it kind of makes that situation a little harder." "situation a little harder." "So what about your I.D. not" "So what about your I.D. not matching at the time of traffic matching at the time of traffic stops?" "stops?" "I'm sure we have plenty of" "I'm sure we have plenty of stories about that one." "stories about that one." "ETHAN:" "WhenIinteractwith" "ETHAN:" "WhenIinteractwith  the police, they're-they're the police, they're-they're pretty cool to me all the way up pretty cool to me all the way up until they ask me my legal name, until they ask me my legal name, 'cause I haven't gotten that" "'cause I haven't gotten that changed yet." "changed yet." "And then, all of a sudden, they" "And then, all of a sudden, they just keep calling me "ma'am."" "just keep calling me "ma'am." Like, "Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am," "Like, "Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, miss, ma'am."" "miss, ma'am." Like, do I look like a ma'am?" "Like, do I look like a ma'am?" "And then I get all those" "And then I get all those messed-up questions." "messed-up questions." "Like, you don't need to know" "Like, you don't need to know what-what I have underneath my what-what I have underneath my clothes." "clothes." "CINIA:" "Similarto that,Imet" "CINIA:" "Similarto that,Imet this guy and he ended up this guy and he ended up getting stopped because he had a getting stopped because he had a car and, um, his license-- he car and, um, his license-- he had the paper license, so they" "had the paper license, so they stopped him." "stopped him." "And then they asked me for my" "And then they asked me for my I.D." "I.D. And then it was like, "Oh," "And then it was like, "Oh, she's a (bleep)."" "she's a (bleep)." You know, it stopped being about" "You know, it stopped being about the traffic thing and then it the traffic thing and then it turned... all-all their turned... all-all their attention turned to me." "attention turned to me." "They were laughing, they asked" "They were laughing, they asked me, like, how much did my me, like, how much did my implants cost, how much did my implants cost, how much did my wig cost, do I still have my" "wig cost, do I still have my (bleep)." "(bleep)." "WOMAN:" "Didyouput a" "WOMAN:" "Didyouput a complaint, sweetheart, on that?" "complaint, sweetheart, on that?" "'Cause you know you could." "'Cause you know you could." "Totally." "Totally." "CINIA:" "Actually,Idid ,but" "CINIA:" "Actually,Idid ,but  it never went anywhere." "it never went anywhere." "MAN:" "I don'tknowabout" "MAN:" "I don'tknowabout everybody, but for me it's very everybody, but for me it's very difficult." "difficult." "Um, some people are very cruel," "Um, some people are very cruel, not accepting." "not accepting." "Some people look at me as a" "Some people look at me as a human." "human." "And then some other people look" "And then some other people look at me as an animal." "at me as an animal." "CAITLYN:" "Thankyoufor your" "CAITLYN:" "Thankyoufor your openness." "openness." "Um, uh, it's... it's extremely" "Um, uh, it's... it's extremely important that we're heard." "important that we're heard." "We're heard." "We're heard." "And that's what it's all about," "And that's what it's all about, you know?" "you know?" "That we're just part of society." "That we're just part of society." "We're people." "We're people." "It makes me so sad to see what" "It makes me so sad to see what these kids have gone through." "these kids have gone through." "Um, been harassed by police or" "Um, been harassed by police or not just being able to get a job not just being able to get a job that they want because their that they want because their I.D. doesn't match who they" "I.D. doesn't match who they really are." "really are." "This really puts my personal" "This really puts my personal challenges into perspective." "challenges into perspective." "I want to learn from that, so we" "I want to learn from that, so we can change things in the future." "can change things in the future." "I hope I can use my life and my" "I hope I can use my life and my resources to make it easier on resources to make it easier on the next generation." "the next generation." "HOLLY:" "I justwanttosay" "HOLLY:" "I justwanttosay thank you so much for the work thank you so much for the work that you're doing." "that you're doing." "You know, it's reaching a lot of" "You know, it's reaching a lot of people and I never thought, in a people and I never thought, in a million years, that my father million years, that my father would, uh, reach out to me." "would, uh, reach out to me." "And he sent me an e-mail a few" "And he sent me an e-mail a few days ago, and he wants to... he days ago, and he wants to... he told me he wants to get to know told me he wants to get to know me as Holly." "me as Holly." "And that's such a big deal to" "And that's such a big deal to me, so thank you so much." "me, so thank you so much." "I never thought it would happen." "I never thought it would happen." "CAITLYN:" "Thankyou." "CAITLYN:" "Thankyou." "That means so much to me." "That means so much to me." "CHANDI:" "Youknow,you are the" "CHANDI:" "Youknow,you are the  future, you are the example, and future, you are the example, and you being in that position, you you being in that position, you need to be showing others the" "need to be showing others the journey that they could have." "journey that they could have." "CAITLYN:" "Andthankyou for" "CAITLYN:" "Andthankyou for  your time." "your time." "CHANDI:" "Yeah." "CHANDI:" "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "I certainly" "CAITLYN:" "I certainly appreciate it." "appreciate it." "CHANDI:" "Andwe saythankyou" "CHANDI:" "Andwe saythankyou for everybody coming to group for everybody coming to group being on time today." "being on time today." "CAITLYN:" "Yay!" "CAITLYN:" "Yay!" "(applause)" "My speech for the ESPYs" " I really know, pretty much, what I really know, pretty much, what I want to say." "want to say." "RONDA:" "Like,it 'sfive" "RONDA:" "Like,it 'sfive minutes, right?" "minutes, right?" "CAITLYN:" "Yeah,it 'sfiveto" "CAITLYN:" "Yeah,it 'sfiveto six minutes, yeah." "six minutes, yeah." "RONDA:" "Doyouwanttoreadit" "RONDA:" "Doyouwanttoreadit out loud?" "out loud?" "CAITLYN:" "I don'tknow,but" "CAITLYN:" "I don'tknow,but  I've had enough." "I've had enough." "RONDA:" "Oh,my God,the drama." "RONDA:" "Oh,my God,the drama." "(laughs)" "(laughs) CAITLYN:" "I 'lljusthandit" "CAITLYN:" "I 'lljusthandit off to you." "off to you." "You got this." "You got this." "RONDA:" "I 'mhereto helpyou ." "RONDA:" "I 'mhereto helpyou ." "CAITLYN:" "Tocoachmethrough" "CAITLYN:" "Tocoachmethrough this." "this." "RONDA:" "I 'llhelpyou." "RONDA:" "I 'llhelpyou." "CAITLYN:" "I haveto" "CAITLYN:" "I haveto  practically memorize that practically memorize that speech." "speech." "For me, it's never been easy on" "For me, it's never been easy on a teleprompter." "a teleprompter." "I was a dyslexic kid-- my" "I was a dyslexic kid-- my biggest fear in life was to go biggest fear in life was to go to school, 'cause I was afraid I to school, 'cause I was afraid I was gonna have to read in front" "was gonna have to read in front of the class." "of the class." "But I've got such a short amount" "But I've got such a short amount of time to get it right." "of time to get it right." "I've got to stick to the" "I've got to stick to the teleprompter." "teleprompter." "I just have to do it." "I just have to do it." "Oh, God." "ABBYWAMBACH:" "Ladiesand  gentlemen, Caitlyn Jenner." "gentlemen, Caitlyn Jenner." "CAITLYN:" "I 'mstandingthere" "CAITLYN:" "I 'mstandingthere in front of my peers." "in front of my peers." "I feel so unbelievably" "I feel so unbelievably vulnerable." "vulnerable." "JENNY:" "Hello?" "JENNY:" "Hello?" "CAITLYN:" "Krisis comingover" "CAITLYN:" "Krisis comingover in, like, a half hour." "in, like, a half hour." "JENNY:" "Howdo youfeel?" "JENNY:" "Howdo youfeel?" "CAITLYN:" "Uh,alot of" "CAITLYN:" "Uh,alot of anxiety." "anxiety." "(knocking)" "(line ringing) PPAM:" "Hey." "PPAM:" "Hey." "CAITLYN:" "Hey,thereyou are ." "CAITLYN:" "Hey,thereyou are ." "PAM:" "Yeah,Ijustgotoffthe" "PAM:" "Yeah,Ijustgotoffthe golf course." "golf course." "CAITLYN:" "Toughlife,sis ." "CAITLYN:" "Toughlife,sis ." "Uh, did you talk to o Mom today?" "Uh, did you talk to o Mom today?" "PAM:" "Uh,thismorning,yes." "PAM:" "Uh,thismorning,yes." "CCAITLYN:" "Italkedtoher." "CCAITLYN:" "Italkedtoher." "She still thinks she c can maket" "She still thinks she c can maket to the ESPYs." "to the ESPYs." "Break her hip and still comeme" "Break her hip and still comeme down here." "down here." "What an ornery old girl." "What an ornery old girl." "PAM:" "Sheis ." "PAM:" "Sheis ." "RONDA:" "Sheis ." "RONDA:" "Sheis ." "She's a tough... she's a tough" "She's a tough... she's a tough cocookie." "cocookie." "CAITLYN:" "Sherereallyis, ye." "CAITLYN:" "Sherereallyis, ye." "Little fighterer." "Little fighterer." "Of c course, right here, before" "Of c course, right here, before the ESPYs, my mother breaks her the ESPYs, my mother breaks her hip." "hip." "One problem after the next." "One problem after the next." "If she can't make it, it would" "If she can't make it, it would be devastating, because she's be devastating, because she's obviously been very important in obviously been very important in my life." "my life." "And I wouldn't be here if it" "And I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her." "wasn't for her." "PAM:" "We'llknowmoretoday," "PAM:" "We'llknowmoretoday, because she's going into a rehab because she's going into a rehab facility." "facility." "CAITLYN:" "She'scomingdown..." "CAITLYN:" "She'scomingdown..." "I'm just, you know, wondering if" "I'm just, you know, wondering if she's gonna make it or what." "she's gonna make it or what." "PAM:" "I know,Iknow." "PAM:" "I know,Iknow." "She really wants to go." "She really wants to go." "CAITLYN:" "I know,Iknow." "DRIAN:" "Hi!" "Howare you ?" "CAITLYN:" "Hello!" "CAITLYN:" "Hello!" "You made it." "You made it." "Do you look so nice, babe?" "Do you look so nice, babe?" "DRIAN:" "Youlookgorgeous." "DRIAN:" "Youlookgorgeous." "CAITLYN:" "Oh,sametoyou." "CAITLYN:" "Oh,sametoyou." "How are you?" "How are you?" "DRIAN:" "Good,thankyou ." "DRIAN:" "Good,thankyou ." "How are you?" "How are you?" "CAITLYN:" "Goodto seeyou ." "CAITLYN:" "Goodto seeyou ." "Good to see you." "Good to see you." "DRIAN:" "Greatto seeyou ." "DRIAN:" "Greatto seeyou ." "CAITLYN:" "Haveaseat." "CAITLYN:" "Haveaseat." "So, the big one." "So, the big one." "Name change." "Name change." "DRIAN:" "Oh,yeah." "DRIAN:" "Oh,yeah." "RONDA:" "Yes,and..." "RONDA:" "Yes,and..." "DRIAN:" "Nameandgender" "DRIAN:" "Nameandgender change." "change." "CAITLYN:" "Nameandgender" "CAITLYN:" "Nameandgender change." "change." "RONDA:" "AndI'm,like..." "RONDA:" "AndI'm,like..." "very confused about the whole very confused about the whole thing, and I have no idea where thing, and I have no idea where to start, what to do, but we to start, what to do, but we need to get the ball rolling." "need to get the ball rolling." "DRIAN:" "Yes." "DRIAN:" "Yes." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "DRIAN:" "Youknow,you haveto" "DRIAN:" "Youknow,you haveto go through the court-ordered go through the court-ordered process, which has been process, which has been streamlined a bit." "streamlined a bit." "Before, uh, you had to have" "Before, uh, you had to have gender confirmation surgery gender confirmation surgery before you could change your before you could change your gender marker." "gender marker." "Um, there was advocacy done to" "Um, there was advocacy done to change that, and now you just change that, and now you just have to have clinically have to have clinically appropriate treatment to change appropriate treatment to change your gender marker." "your gender marker." "RONDA:" "Now,areyou speaking" "RONDA:" "Now,areyou speaking just for California, or for most just for California, or for most of the United States?" "of the United States?" "DRIAN:" "Thisis just" "DRIAN:" "Thisis just California." "California." "RONDA:" "Wow." "RONDA:" "Wow." "DRIAN:" "Eachstatehas its own" "DRIAN:" "Eachstatehas its own  regulations." "regulations." "CAITLYN:" "Whichis something," "CAITLYN:" "Whichis something, I think, in the future, we" "I think, in the future, we should all work on and try and should all work on and try and get changed." "get changed." "DRIAN:" "Itshouldjustbethe" "DRIAN:" "Itshouldjustbethe same across the board." "same across the board." "CAITLYN:" "Sowe 'rein the" "CAITLYN:" "Sowe 'rein the right state?" "right state?" "DRIAN:" "We'rein theright" "DRIAN:" "We'rein theright state-- this is one of the best state-- this is one of the best states to be in for transgender states to be in for transgender people." "people." "There's lots of protection." "There's lots of protection." "CAITLYN:" "Afterhearingall" "CAITLYN:" "Afterhearingall  the struggles that people go the struggles that people go through because they don't have through because they don't have the proper documentation, I the proper documentation, I realize that I should be a" "realize that I should be a little bit more aggressive in little bit more aggressive in dealing with this issue of my dealing with this issue of my identity." "identity." "I think it's time to get that" "I think it's time to get that process started." "process started." "DRIAN:" "I broughttheformsto" "DRIAN:" "I broughttheformsto go over them, to sort of explain go over them, to sort of explain to you what the forms are." "to you what the forms are." "CAITLYN:" "Okay." "CAITLYN:" "Okay." "DRIAN:" "There'saboutadozen" "DRIAN:" "There'saboutadozen of them-- in total, it's about of them-- in total, it's about 18 forms, 'cause some of them 18 forms, 'cause some of them have a couple of pages." "have a couple of pages." "RONDA:" "Itseemskindoffun." "RONDA:" "Itseemskindoffun." "DRIAN:" "Yeah." "DRIAN:" "Yeah." "RONDA:" "I mean,to me ." "RONDA:" "I mean,to me ." "It's, like, it's kind of" "It's, like, it's kind of exciting." "exciting." "DRIAN:" "Oh,yeah." "DRIAN:" "Oh,yeah." "Um, I brought you an overview" "Um, I brought you an overview of, uh, what it means to change of, uh, what it means to change your, uh, identity through the your, uh, identity through the court and then what the process" "court and then what the process is for changing all of is for changing all of your I.D.s." "your I.D.s. CAITLYN:" "Um,whatdoesit" "CAITLYN:" "Um,whatdoesit mean?" "mean?" "DRIAN:" "Soit ..." "Okay." "DRIAN:" "Soit ..." "Okay." "It means that the court is now" "It means that the court is now legally recognizing you in your legally recognizing you in your new identity and that that is new identity and that that is your identity in all states." "your identity in all states." "Once that's done, you can go in" "Once that's done, you can go in and pick up your decree." "and pick up your decree." "Then you go to the Social" "Then you go to the Social Security office." "Security office." "CAITLYN:" "That'sthegolden" "CAITLYN:" "That'sthegolden ticket." "ticket." "DRIAN:" "That'sthegolden" "DRIAN:" "That'sthegolden ticket right there." "ticket right there." "CAITLYN:" "Baby,rightthere," "CAITLYN:" "Baby,rightthere, that's what we're looking for." "that's what we're looking for." "DRIAN:" "Okay?" "That'sthe" "DRIAN:" "Okay?" "That'sthe  golden ticket." "golden ticket." "When I finally was able to do my" "When I finally was able to do my court-ordered name and gender court-ordered name and gender change, it was like a birthday, change, it was like a birthday, you know." "you know." "It was like, "Woo-hoo, I'm" "It was like, "Woo-hoo, I'm born!"" "born!" Like, yay, I'm finally here." "Like, yay, I'm finally here." "This is me." "Like, look." "This is me." "Like, look." "I was happy;" "I wanted to show my" "I was happy;" "I wanted to show my I.D. to everyone." "I.D. to everyone." "Up until then, it felt like a" "Up until then, it felt like a lie for so many of us." "lie for so many of us." "You're ready." "You're ready." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "Yeah, we'll start the process." "Yeah, we'll start the process." "DRIAN:" "Yay,I'msohappy." "DRIAN:" "Yay,I'msohappy." "CAITLYN:" "Allright,and thank" "CAITLYN:" "Allright,and thank you for bringing these out." "you for bringing these out." "We'll get them filled out and" "We'll get them filled out and get them back to you." "get them back to you." "DRIAN:" "Yes,let'sdoit." "DRIAN:" "Yes,let'sdoit." "RONDA:" "Yeah,no ,Ithinkthis" "RONDA:" "Yeah,no ,Ithinkthis  is gonna be fun." "is gonna be fun." "CAITLYN:" "I know." "Iknow." "CAITLYN:" "I know." "Iknow." "DRIAN:" "It'sgonnabefun." "DRIAN:" "It'sgonnabefun." "It's gonna be really, really" "It's gonna be really, really fun." "fun." "CAITLYN:" "I know." "(knocking) CAITLYN:" "Haveyouguysbeen" "CAITLYN:" "Haveyouguysbeen  waiting long?" "waiting long?" "PAM:" "Yes." "PAM:" "Yes." "ESTHER:" "Havewe beenwaiting?" "ESTHER:" "Havewe beenwaiting?" "CAITLYN:" "Comeon in ." "CAITLYN:" "Comeon in ." "PAM:" "Watchyourfingers." "PAM:" "Watchyourfingers." "CAITLYN:" "Therewe go ,there" "CAITLYN:" "Therewe go ,there we go, there we go." "we go, there we go." "ESTHER:" "Hey!" "ESTHER:" "Hey!" "CAITLYN:" "Aw,yay!" "CAITLYN:" "Aw,yay!" "ESTHER:" "I don'tbelieveIgot" "ESTHER:" "I don'tbelieveIgot here." "here." "CAITLYN:" "Youmadeit, Mom !" "CAITLYN:" "Youmadeit, Mom !" "Lisa's back." "Lisa's back." "LISA:" "Howyoudoing?" "LISA:" "Howyoudoing?" "CAITLYN:" "Samantha'sherefor" "CAITLYN:" "Samantha'sherefor  the first time." "the first time." "SAMANTHA:" "I know." "SAMANTHA:" "I know." "It's beautiful here." "It's beautiful here." "CAITLYN:" "I know." "It is nice." "CAITLYN:" "I know." "It is nice." "Come on in." "Come on in." "PAM:" "Hello." "PAM:" "Hello." "CAITLYN:" "Good." "CAITLYN:" "Good." "PAM:" "Lasttime,Iwasquite" "PAM:" "Lasttime,Iwasquite  apprehensive." "apprehensive." "I know we were curious." "I know we were curious." "ESTHER:" "Thereyouare ." "ESTHER:" "Thereyouare ." "CAITLYN:" "Now,everybody,it's" "CAITLYN:" "Now,everybody,it's okay." "okay." "PAM:" "I thoughtyouweregonna" "PAM:" "I thoughtyouweregonna look more like me." "look more like me." "(laughter)" "(laughter) CAITLYN:" "Oh,sister." "CAITLYN:" "Oh,sister." "PAM:" "I havebeens...always" "PAM:" "I havebeens...always so very proud of my brother so very proud of my brother Bruce." "Bruce." "But I can't tell you, uh, how" "But I can't tell you, uh, how proud I am now of my sister proud I am now of my sister Caitlyn-- even more so." "Caitlyn-- even more so." "Even more so." "Even more so." "CAITLYN:" "Comeon ,sisses." "CAITLYN:" "Comeon ,sisses." "PAM:" "Allright." "PAM:" "Allright." "Ooh-hoo." "Ooh-hoo." "LISA:" "Thislifethatyou've" "LISA:" "Thislifethatyou've had is just so extraordinary, had is just so extraordinary, you know?" "you know?" "It really is, you know?" "It really is, you know?" "That you-you went and" "That you-you went and accomplished that goal, and then accomplished that goal, and then now, um, the things that now, um, the things that you're doing." "you're doing." "And this is so much bigger, I" "And this is so much bigger, I think." "think." "CAITLYN:" "It'sso muchbigger." "CAITLYN:" "It'sso muchbigger." "LISA:" "Itis ." "LISA:" "Itis ." "CAITLYN:" "Peopledieoverthis" "CAITLYN:" "Peopledieoverthis  issue." "issue." "Nobody was dying over the Games." "Nobody was dying over the Games." "LISA:" "No." "LISA:" "No." "CAITLYN:" "Itwasjustthe" "CAITLYN:" "Itwasjustthe Games." "Games." "This is a serious issue that" "This is a serious issue that affects a lot of people, a lot affects a lot of people, a lot more than you think." "more than you think." "PAM:" "Well,howisitgonna" "PAM:" "Well,howisitgonna  feel tomorrow night among... feel tomorrow night among..." ""your peers"?" ""your peers"?" "CAITLYN:" "Mypeers?" "CAITLYN:" "Mypeers?" "PAM:" "Otherathletes." "PAM:" "Otherathletes." "CAITLYN:" "I thinkit 'llbe" "CAITLYN:" "I thinkit 'llbe  very good." "very good." "Um, it's a tough place to have" "Um, it's a tough place to have your first public appearance, to your first public appearance, to say the least." "say the least." "PAM:" "I wouldthinkso." "PAM:" "I wouldthinkso." "CAITLYN:" "Let'sjustgoright" "CAITLYN:" "Let'sjustgoright out in front of your peers and out in front of your peers and your friends and people I know your friends and people I know and stand up there and tell your and stand up there and tell your story." "story." "LISA:" "Areyougetting" "LISA:" "Areyougetting nervous?" "nervous?" "CAITLYN:" "I feelso much" "CAITLYN:" "I feelso much pressure giving this speech, pressure giving this speech, on a subject that I know very on a subject that I know very well, but have never, ever well, but have never, ever talked about it in public." "talked about it in public." "CHANDI:" "How'sthespeech" "CHANDI:" "How'sthespeech coming along?" "coming along?" "Oh." "Oh." "CANDIS:" "Howlongisit?" "CANDIS:" "Howlongisit?" "CAITLYN:" "Fiveminutes,eight" "CAITLYN:" "Fiveminutes,eight minutes." "minutes." "It's just, emotionally will you" "It's just, emotionally will you be able to take it?" "be able to take it?" "CANDIS:" "Yeah." "CANDIS:" "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah,that'sthe" "CAITLYN:" "Yeah,that'sthe  tough one." "tough one." "CANDIS:" "We'llbe thereto" "CANDIS:" "We'llbe thereto support you." "support you." "CAITLYN:" "I know." "CAITLYN:" "I know." "CANDIS:" "Formoralsupport." "CANDIS:" "Formoralsupport." "CAITLYN:" "Yay!" "CAITLYN:" "Yay!" "(clapping)" "But it's so, so important that I get it right-- so important for get it right-- so important for me to represent myself well, me to represent myself well, so important for this community," "so important for this community, so important for the public, and so important for the public, and also so important of where also so important of where I'm saying these words." "I'm saying these words." "It'll be really tough to" "It'll be really tough to get through." "get through." "PAM:" "IsKrisgonnabethere ?" "PAM:" "IsKrisgonnabethere ?" "CAITLYN:" "No." "CAITLYN:" "No." "I didn't invite her." "I didn't invite her." "She hasn't called me, talked to" "She hasn't called me, talked to me." "me." "Yeah, I've called her a couple" "Yeah, I've called her a couple times, but not many, you know?" "times, but not many, you know?" "Okay." "Okay." "It is what it is." "It is what it is." "With Kris and I, I don't think" "With Kris and I, I don't think she realized it would come to she realized it would come to this." "this." "JENNY:" "Howis she?" "JENNY:" "Howis she?" "CAITLYN:" "I don'tknow." "CAITLYN:" "I don'tknow." "She doesn't talk." "She doesn't talk." "DEEDIE:" "Youhaven'ttalkedto" "DEEDIE:" "Youhaven'ttalkedto her." "her." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "Honestly, I don't think I've" "Honestly, I don't think I've been ready for the big "Kris"" "been ready for the big "Kris" meeting and talk." "meeting and talk." "You know, we did have a lot of" "You know, we did have a lot of great times." "great times." "And so, for the kids, Kendall" "And so, for the kids, Kendall and Kylie, I don't want tension." "and Kylie, I don't want tension." "(knocking)" "(knocking) It is really very, very" "It is really very, very difficult." "(birds chirping) CANDIS:" "Hi." "Iloveit." "CANDIS:" "Hi." "Iloveit." "CAITLYN:" "Howareall my" "CAITLYN:" "Howareall my girls?" "girls?" "How you doing?" "How you doing?" "Good to see you." "Good to see you." "You all... you all get to meet" "You all... you all get to meet my mother." "my mother." "CHANDI:" "Oh,my goodness." "CHANDI:" "Oh,my goodness." "Mwah." "Mwah." "CAITLYN:" "Lookat you." "CAITLYN:" "Lookat you." "Do you got any clothes on?" "Do you got any clothes on?" "Really." "It's..." "Really." "It's..." "We see through all of that..." "We see through all of that..." "CANDIS:" "No,it 'snude." "CANDIS:" "No,it 'snude." "It's nude." "It's-it's fully..." "It's nude." "It's-it's fully..." "it's fully covered, honey." "it's fully covered, honey." "CAITLYN:" "Oh,my God,Mom ." "CAITLYN:" "Oh,my God,Mom ." "WOMAN:" "Lookwhoishere ." "WOMAN:" "Lookwhoishere ." "CAITLYN:" "Mymom,she really" "CAITLYN:" "Mymom,she really felt a need to come down here, felt a need to come down here, and it makes me feel good that and it makes me feel good that it's that important to her for" "it's that important to her for her to be here to show her her to be here to show her support." "support." "And I feel like my mom has to" "And I feel like my mom has to meet the other girls." "meet the other girls." "CHANDI:" "Hi,Mom." "CHANDI:" "Hi,Mom." "Nice to meet you." "Nice to meet you." "CAITLYN:" "Thisis Chandi." "CAITLYN:" "Thisis Chandi." "ESTHER:" "Niceto meetyou ." "ESTHER:" "Niceto meetyou ." "I can't turn around." "I can't turn around." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "CANDIS:" "I 'mcomingoverhere." "CANDIS:" "I 'mcomingoverhere." "ESTHER:" "Comeon overhere." "ESTHER:" "Comeon overhere." "Okay, Candis, you're a-a new" "Okay, Candis, you're a-a new friend of Bruce's?" "friend of Bruce's?" "CANDIS:" "Yeah." "Yeah." "CANDIS:" "Yeah." "Yeah." "ESTHER:" "It'sallnew tome." "ESTHER:" "It'sallnew tome." "CANDIS:" "Yeah." "CANDIS:" "Yeah." "ESTHER:" "Thehardthingis" "ESTHER:" "Thehardthingis going to be... going to be..." "CANDIS:" "Pronouns." "CANDIS:" "Pronouns." "ESTHER( laughs):" "Pronouns." "ESTHER( laughs):" "Pronouns." "CAITLYN:" "I neverthoughtthe" "CAITLYN:" "I neverthoughtthe  day would come that actually I day would come that actually I would be with my two sisters, a would be with my two sisters, a bunch of trans women, and my bunch of trans women, and my 89-year-old mother, and" "89-year-old mother, and everybody having a good time." "everybody having a good time." "I'm having a good time, so..." "I'm having a good time, so..." "Yeah, it's just... it's just a" "Yeah, it's just... it's just a good, comfortable feeling." "good, comfortable feeling." "ESTHER:" "Howlonghas Candis" "ESTHER:" "Howlonghas Candis come forward with her... come forward with her..." "CAITLYN:" "Transition." "CAITLYN:" "Transition." "ESTHER:" "Transition,yeah." "ESTHER:" "Transition,yeah." "CAITLYN:" "Whendidyou ...go" "CAITLYN:" "Whendidyou ...go full-time?" "full-time?" "CANDIS:" "Uh,in '95?" "CANDIS:" "Uh,in '95?" "20 years ago." "20 years ago." "ESTHER:" "Whendidyou realize" "ESTHER:" "Whendidyou realize that you felt differently about that you felt differently about yourself?" "yourself?" "CHANDI:" "Well,Ialwaysfelt" "CHANDI:" "Well,Ialwaysfelt  different." "different." "Um, probably, like, around the" "Um, probably, like, around the age of 23, I started taking age of 23, I started taking hormones, and, um, I decided to hormones, and, um, I decided to do it all the time." "do it all the time." "ESTHER:" "I gotso muchto" "ESTHER:" "I gotso muchto learn." "learn." "CHANDI:" "Oh!" "CHANDI:" "Oh!" "JEN:" "I thinkforthe first" "JEN:" "I thinkforthe first half of our lives, our parents half of our lives, our parents teach us, and then we teach our teach us, and then we teach our parents." "parents." "CAITLYN:" "That'sverytrue." "CAITLYN:" "That'sverytrue." "PAM:" "It'sgonnabequitea" "PAM:" "It'sgonnabequitea night, isn't it?" "night, isn't it?" "What are you wearing for the" "What are you wearing for the ESPYs?" "ESPYs?" "CHANDI:" "Purplishfuchsia." "CHANDI:" "Purplishfuchsia." "Candis's designer made me a" "Candis's designer made me a dress." "dress." "JEN:" "Whatareyou wearing," "JEN:" "Whatareyou wearing, Esther?" "Esther?" "Do you have an outfit?" "Do you have an outfit?" "ESTHER:" "Youknow,Ihave an" "ESTHER:" "Youknow,Ihave an old dress." "old dress." "I got it." "Tomorrow, I got to" "I got it." "Tomorrow, I got to find some thigh-high stockings." "find some thigh-high stockings." "And those thigh-highs, I've had" "And those thigh-highs, I've had them before, and sometimes they them before, and sometimes they slip." "slip." "CANDIS:" "Theydo ,butthey're" "CANDIS:" "Theydo ,butthey're sexy." "sexy." "ESTHER:" "Yeah." "ESTHER:" "Yeah." "CANDIS:" "Yeah.(laughs)" "CANDIS:" "Yeah.(laughs) ESTHER:" "ButI'mnot ..." "I" "ESTHER:" "ButI'mnot ..." "I mean, I... mean, I..." "CAITLYN:" "Momdoesn'tneed" "CAITLYN:" "Momdoesn'tneed that-- she's had enough men in that-- she's had enough men in her life." "her life." "ESTHER:" "Whatdo youmean?" "ESTHER:" "Whatdo youmean?" "CAITLYN:" "Oh,God." "CAITLYN:" "Oh,God." "(laughter)" "(crickets chirping)" "(seagulls calling)" "CAITLYN:¶ Let'sdo it .¶ (humming)" "(humming) Let's do it." "Today's the big day." "It's time for the ESPYs." "It's time for the ESPYs." "I'm exc..." "Actually, I'm very" "I'm exc..." "Actually, I'm very excited about this." "excited about this." "All right, I'm out of here." "All right, I'm out of here." "Hiding in the back." "Hiding in the back." "My whole family's going to be" "My whole family's going to be there, right by my side, but I there, right by my side, but I really wonder what the reaction really wonder what the reaction is going to be." "is going to be." "Actually, this is quite" "Actually, this is quite comfortable." "comfortable." "PRODUCER:" "You'vegota" "PRODUCER:" "You'vegota pillow." "pillow." "CAITLYN:" "I 'vegotmy little" "CAITLYN:" "I 'vegotmy little pillow." "(birds chirping)" "(horns honking)" "CANDIS:" "Hi,everybody." "Um, I'm here with Chandi." "Um, I'm here with Chandi." "We just went through the little" "We just went through the little red carpet, and, um, we're super red carpet, and, um, we're super excited to see Cait." "excited to see Cait." "CHANDI:" "Thisis goingtobe" "CHANDI:" "Thisis goingtobe such a historical moment, and such a historical moment, and Candis felt like I needed my own" "Candis felt like I needed my own staple ESPY dress, and that just staple ESPY dress, and that just meant the world to me." "meant the world to me." "Wow." "Wow." "Yes, I am living." "Yes, I am living." "Let me give you triple hugs." "Let me give you triple hugs." "Triple, triple, triple." "Triple, triple, triple." "I told my mom, "I didn't make it" "I told my mom, "I didn't make it to the ESPYs playing football, to the ESPYs playing football, but I made it, girl."" "but I made it, girl." I just don't know what to say." "I just don't know what to say." "Having someone do something nice" "Having someone do something nice for me is just so touching, for me is just so touching, really." "really." "Thank you." "CANDIS:" "It'sgonnabefun." "I'm excited." "I'm excited." "It's monumental." "STYLIST:" "I gotit real straight here." "straight here." "Yeah." "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "HereIam, getting" "CAITLYN:" "HereIam, getting real close to it." "real close to it." "Donatella Versace sent this" "Donatella Versace sent this fabulous Versace gown." "fabulous Versace gown." "But I feel so much pressure" "But I feel so much pressure giving this speech." "giving this speech." "Uh, I-I hope the reception is" "Uh, I-I hope the reception is good." "good." "Um, I hope that I say the... all" "Um, I hope that I say the... all the right things." "the right things." "And I hope that, uh, most" "And I hope that, uh, most importantly, my kids are proud importantly, my kids are proud of me." "ABBYWAMBACH:" "Ladiesand  gentlemen, the courageous, the gentlemen, the courageous, the stunning Caitlyn Jenner." "stunning Caitlyn Jenner." "(applause, cheering)" "(Caitlyn exhales) CAITLYN:" "I 'mstandingthere," "CAITLYN:" "I 'mstandingthere, all Caitlyn, totally out." "all Caitlyn, totally out." "I feel..." "I feel..." "so unbelievably vulnerable." "I'd like to thank my family." "The biggest fear I've always had" "The biggest fear I've always had in coming out is I never wanted in coming out is I never wanted to hurt anyone else." "to hurt anyone else." "Most of all..." "Most of all..." "my family and my kids." "my family and my kids." "I always wanted my children to" "I always wanted my children to be so proud of their dad." "be so proud of their dad." "Love you very much." "Love you very much." "I'm so glad you're here to share" "I'm so glad you're here to share this with me." "this with me." "(applause)" "(applause) If you want to call me names," "If you want to call me names, make jokes, doubt my intentions, make jokes, doubt my intentions, go ahead." "go ahead." "Because the reality is:" "I can" "Because the reality is:" "I can take it." "take it." "But for the thousands of kids" "But for the thousands of kids out there coming to terms with out there coming to terms with being true to who they are, they being true to who they are, they shouldn't have to take it." "shouldn't have to take it." "(applause)" "(applause) Thank you so much for this" "Thank you so much for this honor." "honor." "Thank you." "The ESPYs are over, and it was good." "good." "What an enormous amount of" "What an enormous amount of weight off my shoulders." "weight off my shoulders." "I think I made all my points I" "I think I made all my points I wanted to make, um, because this wanted to make, um, because this is bigger than just me." "is bigger than just me." "This is about this community and" "This is about this community and the fight that we have to the fight that we have to constantly have, uh, with the constantly have, uh, with the media, with the public, for media, with the public, for understanding." "understanding." "I did it!" "I did it!" "Family support is everything." "Family support is everything." "You have to have that structure" "You have to have that structure below you to get to the next below you to get to the next level." "level." "Kris and I still haven't spoken." "Kris and I still haven't spoken." "I mean, she's been there for me" "I mean, she's been there for me for the last 25 years, you know, for the last 25 years, you know, at all the big events." "at all the big events." "And she wasn't there." "And she wasn't there." "To be honest with you, that" "To be honest with you, that makes me sad." "(sniffles) You know, in this whole..." "You know, in this whole..." "transition thing, Kris and I transition thing, Kris and I really have not talked." "really have not talked." "We haven't spent any time" "We haven't spent any time together in, really, the last together in, really, the last year." "year." "Honestly, I don't think I've" "Honestly, I don't think I've been ready for the big "Kris"" "been ready for the big "Kris" meeting and talk, but..." "You know, that'll be a tough day." "(birds chirping) (knocking)" "(knocking) (door opens)" "(door opens) CAITLYN:" "Oh,boy,wegot" "CAITLYN:" "Oh,boy,wegot designers." "How are you?" "designers." "How are you?" "MARY:" "Hi." "Howare you ?" "MARY:" "Hi." "Howare you ?" "Mary Ta." "Nice to meet you." "Mary Ta." "Nice to meet you." "CAITLYN:" "Mary,nicetomeet" "CAITLYN:" "Mary,nicetomeet  you." "you." "SETH:" "Hi,Seth." "SETH:" "Hi,Seth." "Nice to meet you." "Nice to meet you." "CAITLYN:" "Niceto meetyou ." "CAITLYN:" "Niceto meetyou ." "Come on in." "Here we are." "Come on in." "Here we are." "Uh, this is all furniture," "Uh, this is all furniture, actually, I had from the other actually, I had from the other house." "house." "SETH:" "Okay." "SETH:" "Okay." "CAITLYN:" "WhenIboughtthis" "CAITLYN:" "WhenIboughtthis  house, it was the first time house, it was the first time that I bought my own home." "that I bought my own home." "In fact, Kris bought one house" "In fact, Kris bought one house that I didn't even see until that I didn't even see until after she bought it." "after she bought it." "Here's the main area that Kris" "Here's the main area that Kris designed." "designed." "Kris used to take care of all of" "Kris used to take care of all of this-- the furniture, the rugs, this-- the furniture, the rugs, the paint, the colors." "the paint, the colors." "KRIS:" "Wegotthis." "KRIS:" "Wegotthis." "MAN:" "Whatcolors?" "MAN:" "Whatcolors?" "KRIS:" "That'sthe$60 million" "KRIS:" "That'sthe$60 million question." "question." "CAITLYN:" "I haveactually" "CAITLYN:" "I haveactually never decorated one." "never decorated one." "LORI:" "WeareLoriMargolis" "LORI:" "WeareLoriMargolis Interiors." "Interiors." "CAITLYN:" "Right." "CAITLYN:" "Right." "LORI:" "We'regonnashowyou" "LORI:" "We'regonnashowyou what your home could possibly what your home could possibly look like." "look like." "CAITLYN:" "I lovethecolorson" "CAITLYN:" "I lovethecolorson that." "that." "I have no idea where to start." "I have no idea where to start." "Caitlyn." "Nice to see you." "Caitlyn." "Nice to see you." "CHRISTOPHER:" "Niceto seeyou ," "CHRISTOPHER:" "Niceto seeyou , Caitlyn." "Caitlyn." "CAITLYN:" "Let'stalkhouses." "CAITLYN:" "Let'stalkhouses." "CHRISTOPHER:" "I thinkoncewe" "CHRISTOPHER:" "I thinkoncewe know what we're doing in the know what we're doing in the living room, then we can sort of living room, then we can sort of let that influence our decisions let that influence our decisions out here." "out here." "RONDA:' Causethisis ..." "RONDA:' Causethisis ..." "CHRISTOPHER:' Causeit's" "CHRISTOPHER:' Causeit's gonna be more cohesive." "gonna be more cohesive." "I mean, that's what it's all" "I mean, that's what it's all about, living in California." "about, living in California." "CAITLYN:" "Tome ,thisprocess" "CAITLYN:" "Tome ,thisprocess is really interesting." "is really interesting." "CHRISTOPHER:" "Well,thankyou" "CHRISTOPHER:" "Well,thankyou  very much." "very much." "CAITLYN:" "Actually,I'mvery" "CAITLYN:" "Actually,I'mvery excited to express myself in excited to express myself in this way for the first time in this way for the first time in my life." "my life." "SUSAN:" "Welcometo Shineby" "SUSAN:" "Welcometo Shineby S.H.O." "S.H.O. We've got a lot of glamorous" "We've got a lot of glamorous options for you." "options for you." "CAITLYN:" "Good." "CAITLYN:" "Good." "I think I'm gonna learn a lot" "I think I'm gonna learn a lot about myself." "about myself." "Of course, Candis?" "Of course, Candis?" "CANDIS:" "Yeah." "CANDIS:" "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "Gettheotherside ." "CAITLYN:" "Gettheotherside ." "WOMAN:" "Okay,ladies." "WOMAN:" "Okay,ladies." "Picture time!" "Oh, yes!" "Picture time!" "Oh, yes!" "CAITLYN:" "Whatdo youthink?" "CAITLYN:" "Whatdo youthink?" "CANDIS:" "It'scomfortable." "CANDIS:" "It'scomfortable." "CAITLYN:" "Comfortable." "It is ." "CAITLYN:" "Comfortable." "It is ." "CANDIS:" "Yeah." "Ithinkwe" "CANDIS:" "Yeah." "Ithinkwe could do this." "could do this." "(laughter)" "CAITLYN:" "KrisandIright now-- uh, I learn more about her now-- uh, I learn more about her by reading stuff online." "by reading stuff online." "When Kris and I separated, it" "When Kris and I separated, it was as much, uh, her idea as it was as much, uh, her idea as it was mine." "was mine." "And we mutually decided to go" "And we mutually decided to go our separate directions." "our separate directions." "She went out and found a house" "She went out and found a house for me." "for me." "She went out and decorated that" "She went out and decorated that house for me." "house for me." "She was ready for me to get out" "She was ready for me to get out of that place, you know?" "of that place, you know?" "It's been tough." "It's been tough." "You know, I feel bad about it." "You know, I feel bad about it." "Um, you know, 'cause we've" "Um, you know, 'cause we've always wanted... always wanted..." "It's so important." "It's so important." "I've always wanted to keep a" "I've always wanted to keep a good relationship with her good relationship with her because of the kids." "because of the kids." "And I think it just creates more" "And I think it just creates more tension if we are showing tension if we are showing tension." "tension." "It puts the kids-- especially" "It puts the kids-- especially Kendall and Kylie-- in a real" "Kendall and Kylie-- in a real tough situation, so, um... tough situation, so, um..." "Hey, I don't know." "Hey, I don't know." "Maybe it's time... to kind of" "Maybe it's time... to kind of reach out to her, give her a reach out to her, give her a call." "call." "(dialing)" "(dialing) Uh..." "(line ringing)" "Come on." "Maybe she's not answering my phone." "phone." "FEMALEVOICE:" "I'msorry." "FEMALEVOICE:" "I'msorry." "The person you are trying to" "The person you are trying to reach has a voice mailbox that reach has a voice mailbox that has not been set up yet." "has not been set up yet." "Please try your call again" "Please try your call again later." "later." "(phone beeps)" "(phone beeps) CAITLYN:" "Callagainlater." "CAITLYN:" "Callagainlater." "That's my life." "(birds chirping) Isn't it beautiful out here?" "Isn't it beautiful out here?" "JENNY:" "Lookat you." "JENNY:" "Lookat you." "Your skirt matches the, uh..." "Your skirt matches the, uh..." "all the... all the... all the all the... all the... all the chairs." "chairs." "CAITLYN:" "Hey,baby." "CAITLYN:" "Hey,baby." "JENNY:" "Hi,darlin'darlin'." "JENNY:" "Hi,darlin'darlin'." "CAITLYN:" "I haven'tseenyou ." "CAITLYN:" "I haven'tseenyou ." "JENNY:" "Oh,my goodness." "JENNY:" "Oh,my goodness." "CAITLYN:" "Well,thismustbe" "CAITLYN:" "Well,thismustbe Deedie." "Deedie." "DEEDIE:" "That'sright." "DEEDIE:" "That'sright." "JENNY:" "Thisis my wife" "JENNY:" "Thisis my wife Deedie." "Deedie." "CAITLYN:" "Unbelievable." "CAITLYN:" "Unbelievable." "DEEDIE:" "Whatapleasureto" "DEEDIE:" "Whatapleasureto meet you." "Oh, my God." "meet you." "Oh, my God." "CAITLYN:" "Whatanice" "CAITLYN:" "Whatanice opportunity to meet you." "opportunity to meet you." "So..." "So..." "JENNY:" "I 'msogladfor you to" "JENNY:" "I 'msogladfor you to meet Deedie, because Deedie is meet Deedie, because Deedie is the center of my life, and it the center of my life, and it was her love that made it" "was her love that made it possible for me." "possible for me." "CAITLYN:" "I can'tbelieveyou" "CAITLYN:" "I can'tbelieveyou  put up with her." "put up with her." "DEEDIE:" "I know." "DEEDIE:" "I know." "It's impossible." "It's impossible." "CAITLYN:" "I don'tknowyou do" "CAITLYN:" "I don'tknowyou do it." "it." "JENNY:" "Yeah,well,it'strue ." "JENNY:" "Yeah,well,it'strue ." "Well, how are you doing?" "Well, how are you doing?" "CAITLYN:" "I betyouthere's" "CAITLYN:" "I betyouthere's just a handful of woman who have just a handful of woman who have stayed as their husbands would stayed as their husbands would transition." "transition." "JENNY:" "Somethinglikeathird" "JENNY:" "Somethinglikeathird of marriages stay together." "of marriages stay together." "CAITLYN:" "A third?" "CAITLYN:" "A third?" "JENNY:" "Thelongeryou 'vebeen" "JENNY:" "Thelongeryou 'vebeen with someone, the more likely with someone, the more likely the marriage is to stay the marriage is to stay together." "together." "CAITLYN:" "Thiswasalong time" "CAITLYN:" "Thiswasalong time  ago." "ago." "How many years ago?" "How many years ago?" "JENNY:" "Uh,14 ,15 years." "JENNY:" "Uh,14 ,15 years." "DEEDIE:" "Almost15 ,yeah." "DEEDIE:" "Almost15 ,yeah." "CAITLYN:" "Wow." "CAITLYN:" "Wow." "JENNY:" "Yeah." "Um ,yeah,we've" "JENNY:" "Yeah." "Um ,yeah,we've now lived together as wife and now lived together as wife and wife longer than we lived as wife longer than we lived as husband and wife." "husband and wife." "CAITLYN:" "Wow." "CAITLYN:" "Wow." "See, I've thought about it." "See, I've thought about it." "With Kris and I-- although I" "With Kris and I-- although I certainly was open with her certainly was open with her before we got married... before we got married..." "DEEDIE:" "Mm-hmm." "DEEDIE:" "Mm-hmm." "CAITLYN:..." "Idon'tthinkshe" "CAITLYN:..." "Idon'tthinkshe realized it would come to this, realized it would come to this, which I get." "which I get." "And probably, knowing me, I" "And probably, knowing me, I downplayed it." "downplayed it." "JENNY:" "Howis she?" "JENNY:" "Howis she?" "CAITLYN:" "Hmm?" "CAITLYN:" "Hmm?" "JENNY:" "Howis she?" "JENNY:" "Howis she?" "CAITLYN:" "I don'tknow." "CAITLYN:" "I don'tknow." "She doesn't talk." "She doesn't talk." "DEEDIE:" "Youhaven'ttalkedto" "DEEDIE:" "Youhaven'ttalkedto her." "her." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Last time Kris and I sat down," "Last time Kris and I sat down, it was really tough." "it was really tough." "KRIS:" "Youwereangry..." "KRIS:" "Youwereangry..." "CAITLYN:" "Whenyou'rein..." "CAITLYN:" "Whenyou'rein..." "KRIS:...whichmademeangry." "KRIS:...whichmademeangry." "CAITLYN:" "Youknowyou treated" "CAITLYN:" "Youknowyou treated me badly those last four or five me badly those last four or five years of our marriage." "years of our marriage." "I wasn't happy." "I wasn't happy." "KRIS:" "Younevereventold me" "KRIS:" "Younevereventold me as a married couple that you as a married couple that you were taking hormones." "were taking hormones." "CAITLYN:" "It'smucheasierto" "CAITLYN:" "It'smucheasierto talk to somebody that you're talk to somebody that you're not gonna hurt." "not gonna hurt." "It's just..." "It's just..." "KRIS( crying):" "Butyouhave" "KRIS( crying):" "Butyouhave to tell the truth." "to tell the truth." "You just have to tell the truth." "You just have to tell the truth." "CAITLYN:" "That'swhatI'm" "CAITLYN:" "That'swhatI'm  trying to do." "trying to do." "For the first time in my life," "For the first time in my life, I'm trying to tell the truth." "I'm trying to tell the truth." "JENNY:" "You'regonnahaveto" "JENNY:" "You'regonnahaveto wait her out, and she may not wait her out, and she may not feel about you the way you want feel about you the way you want and need her to feel about you." "and need her to feel about you." "CAITLYN:" "Trustme ,we haven't" "CAITLYN:" "Trustme ,we haven't talked in months." "talked in months." "DEEDIE:" "Mm." "DEEDIE:" "Mm." "JENNY:" "Really?" "JENNY:" "Really?" "CAITLYN:" "No." "CAITLYN:" "No." "JENNY:" "Doyouwanttotalk?" "i) CAITLYN:" "WiWithKrisand I--e" "CAITLYN:" "WiWithKrisand I--e haven't talked in months." "haven't talked in months." "DEEDIE:" "Mm." "DEEDIE:" "Mm." "JENNY:" "Really?" "JENNY:" "Really?" "CAITLYN:" "No." "CAITLYN:" "No." "JENNYNY:" "Doyouwanttotalk?" "I wish..." "I wiwish that you had what I... the gift that I had." "what I... the gift that I had." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah.." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah.." "JENNY:" "Um,becaususeit's..." "JENNY:" "Um,becaususeit's..." "CAITLYN:" "Theundederstanding." "CAITLYN:" "Theundederstanding." "DEEDIE:" "Well,tthe" "DEEDIE:" "Well,tthe  understanding didn't't come understanding didn't't come immediately, but the support was immediately, but the support was always there." "always there." "In families, p processes don't" "In families, p processes don't happen... happen..." "CAITLYN:" "Right." "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "Right." "Yeah." "DEEDIE:...insyncoften." "DEEDIE:...insyncoften." "JENNY:" "Thisis my wife,the" "JENNY:" "Thisis my wife,the  social worker." "social worker." "(Deedie laughs)" "(Deedie laughs) CAITLYN:" "Yeah,Iunderstand." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah,Iunderstand." "JENNY:" "Inadditiontobeing" "JENNY:" "Inadditiontobeing the love of my life, she's also the love of my life, she's also a social worker, which was a a social worker, which was a good skill to have." "good skill to have." "DEEDIE:" "Asthetransperson" "DEEDIE:" "Asthetransperson moves into their new, brilliant, moves into their new, brilliant, always-wanted-to-be true self, always-wanted-to-be true self, the rest of the family is left the rest of the family is left kind of in the dust, still" "kind of in the dust, still trying to figure out, um, what trying to figure out, um, what does this mean for me, and what does this mean for me, and what about everything we had before." "about everything we had before." "And at that moment, I was" "And at that moment, I was terrified." "terrified." "CAITLYN:" "Oh,of course." "CAITLYN:" "Oh,of course." "DEEDIE:" "Youknow,Ididn 't" "DEEDIE:" "Youknow,Ididn 't know what that meant." "know what that meant." "There's a period of real" "There's a period of real mourning, uh, the loss of your mourning, uh, the loss of your mate or your father or your mate or your father or your partner." "partner." "Even when things were very, very" "Even when things were very, very scary, and I didn't know what scary, and I didn't know what was gonna happen, and I felt was gonna happen, and I felt like I was on, like, a" " I don't like I was on, like, a" " I don't know-- a locomotive that was know-- a locomotive that was taking me out of control." "taking me out of control." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "DEEDIE:" "Andif Ijumpedoff," "DEEDIE:" "Andif Ijumpedoff,  I'd get hurt, and if I stayed" "I'd get hurt, and if I stayed on, I didn't know where we were on, I didn't know where we were going, right?" "going, right?" "CAITLYN:" "Ooh,yeah,that's" "CAITLYN:" "Ooh,yeah,that's exactly right." "exactly right." "DEEDIE:" "So,but,um..." "DEEDIE:" "So,but,um..." "CAITLYN:" "Andhowfast." "CAITLYN:" "Andhowfast." "DEEDIE:" "Right,exactly." "DEEDIE:" "Right,exactly." "CAITLYN:" "Goingsomewhere." "CAITLYN:" "Goingsomewhere." "DEEDIE:" "Orif Ihad toduck" "DEEDIE:" "Orif Ihad toduck  for the tunnel." "for the tunnel." "I mean, I didn't even know how" "I mean, I didn't even know how to think about it, right?" "to think about it, right?" "People who transition" "People who transition get really giddy, and I was get really giddy, and I was always kind..." "I was gonna be always kind..." "I was gonna be seen as the sad, uh, grumpy, seen as the sad, uh, grumpy, grieving one." "grieving one." "JENNY:" "I rememberyousaidto" "JENNY:" "I rememberyousaidto me one time that you... me one time that you..." "You said something like, "I'll" "You said something like, "I'll always be clo... always be clo..." "I'll always be close to you." "I'll always be close to you." "I just don't know how close."" "I just don't know how close." (laughter)" "(laughter) Or something." "Or something." "DEEDIE:" "Thereweretimeswhen" "DEEDIE:" "Thereweretimeswhen  I said, "I can't help you with" "I said, "I can't help you with makeup and hair and jewelry, and makeup and hair and jewelry, and you... you..." "By the way, you can't wear my" "By the way, you can't wear my jewelry, and you can't... jewelry, and you can't..." "And we won't be sharing" "And we won't be sharing clothes."" "clothes." That has gone away now." "That has gone away now." "I steal her clothes all the" "I steal her clothes all the time." "time." "(laughs)" "(laughs) But she's much taller than I am." "But she's much taller than I am." "I have always thought that it's" "I have always thought that it's my... my..." "I get to make the choice every" "I get to make the choice every day." "day." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "DEEDIE:" "EverydaywhenIwake" "DEEDIE:" "EverydaywhenIwake up, whether or not this is the up, whether or not this is the marriage I want or not." "marriage I want or not." "CAITLYN:" "Right." "CAITLYN:" "Right." "DEEDIE:" "Andwe 'reluckythat" "DEEDIE:" "Andwe 'reluckythat we continue... we continue to we continue... we continue to agree." "agree." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah,you'vegot it." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah,you'vegot it." "You got your partner." "You got your partner." "You're..." "Yeah." "Yeah." "You're..." "Yeah." "Yeah." "DEEDIE:" "Right." "Andtoshare" "DEEDIE:" "Right." "Andtoshare the same, um, vision." "the same, um, vision." "CAITLYN:" "Goingthroughlife" "CAITLYN:" "Goingthroughlife with a partner, um, is with a partner, um, is extraordinarily important." "extraordinarily important." "Maybe I should reach out to her," "Maybe I should reach out to her, give her a call." "give her a call." "But I'm also pretty scared about" "But I'm also pretty scared about it." "it." "DEEDIE:" "It'snotlike" "DEEDIE:" "It'snotlike someone's not a good enough wife someone's not a good enough wife if they don't stay with their if they don't stay with their trans partner." "trans partner." "Everybody has to decide what," "Everybody has to decide what, um, and what makes their life um, and what makes their life the way they want it." "(thunder rumbling softly)" "(line ringing)" "KRIS:" "Hello?" "CAITLYN:" "Hey." "CAITLYN:" "Hey." "KRIS:" "Hey." "KRIS:" "Hey." "CAITLYN:" "Howareyou doing?" "CAITLYN:" "Howareyou doing?" "KRIS:" "I 'mokay." "KRIS:" "I 'mokay." "CAITLYN:" "Good." "CAITLYN:" "Good." "Um, anyway, I-I just wanted to" "Um, anyway, I-I just wanted to say, there's been a couple of say, there's been a couple of things that have come out that things that have come out that have just not been very nice," "have just not been very nice, you know, in the news." "you know, in the news." "KRIS:" "Yeah,well...you know." "KRIS:" "Yeah,well...you know." "CAITLYN:" "Um,youknow,Iam" "CAITLYN:" "Um,youknow,Iam not talking to the media, uh, at not talking to the media, uh, at all." "all." "KRIS:" "I think..." "KRIS:" "I think..." "Listen, you got to do what you" "Listen, you got to do what you got to do." "got to do." "I just think that that's gonna" "I just think that that's gonna be expected." "be expected." "CAITLYN:" "Youknowwhat?" "CAITLYN:" "Youknowwhat?" "I would like to see you..." "I would like to see you..." "KRIS:" "Mm-hmm." "KRIS:" "Mm-hmm." "CAITLYN:...andtalkfor a" "CAITLYN:...andtalkfor a while." "while." "KRIS:" "Yeah." "I'm-I'mjust..." "KRIS:" "Yeah." "I'm-I'mjust..." "Yeah." "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "Kris and I really have not" "Kris and I really have not communicated that much, communicated that much, especially on the more important especially on the more important things, like our kids." "things, like our kids." "And, uh, yeah, that really" "And, uh, yeah, that really bothers me." "bothers me." "There's a lot of" "There's a lot of miscommunication right now miscommunication right now between the two of us." "between the two of us." "We have to talk and talk some of" "We have to talk and talk some of these things out." "these things out." "KRIS:" "Okay." "KRIS:" "Okay." "CAITLYN:" "Good." "CAITLYN:" "Good." "Kris can be..." "Kris can be..." "very strong, very opinionated." "very strong, very opinionated." "Okay, see you tomorrow." "Okay, see you tomorrow." "KRIS:" "Okay,bye-bye." "KRIS:" "Okay,bye-bye." "CAITLYN:" "Bye." "CAITLYN:" "Bye." "It is kind of nerve-racking," "It is kind of nerve-racking, but I just have to do it." "but I just have to do it." "(clears throat)" "(line ringing) JENNY:" "Hello?" "JENNY:" "Hello?" "CAITLYN:" "Jenny!" "CAITLYN:" "Jenny!" "JENNY:" "Hey,what'shappening," "JENNY:" "Hey,what'shappening, Caity?" "Caity?" "CAITLYN:" "I amstillinthe" "CAITLYN:" "I amstillinthe closet." "Literally." "closet." "Literally." "(laughter)" "(laughter) JENNY:" "Oh,my ..." "JENNY:" "Oh,my ..." "CAITLYN:" "Yes." "CAITLYN:" "Yes." "JENNY:" "I knowwhatthat" "JENNY:" "I knowwhatthat closet looks like." "closet looks like." "CAITLYN:" "Yes,youknowwhat" "CAITLYN:" "Yes,youknowwhat  the closet looks like." "Um... the closet looks like." "Um..." "COURTNEY:" "It'sareallynice" "COURTNEY:" "It'sareallynice  closet." "closet." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah,Ihaven't" "CAITLYN:" "Yeah,Ihaven't gotten out of the closet yet." "gotten out of the closet yet." "Here's-here's the scoop." "Here's-here's the scoop." "I need your advice." "I need your advice." "Kris is coming over in, like, a" "Kris is coming over in, like, a half hour." "half hour." "JENNY:" "Mm-hmm." "JENNY:" "Mm-hmm." "CAITLYN:" "She'sprobablyone" "CAITLYN:" "She'sprobablyone  of the hardest to talk to, and of the hardest to talk to, and she technically hasn't met me." "she technically hasn't met me." "JENNY:" "Mm-hmm." "JENNY:" "Mm-hmm." "CAITLYN:" "So..." "CAITLYN:" "So..." "JENNY:" "Yeah." "JENNY:" "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "Anysuggestions?" "CAITLYN:" "Anysuggestions?" "JENNY:" "Yeah." "Remember,this" "JENNY:" "Yeah." "Remember,this is not the 400 meters." "is not the 400 meters." "This is the marathon." "This is the marathon." "Um, settling-- at least on this" "Um, settling-- at least on this first day-- for letting her have first day-- for letting her have her reaction, whatever it's her reaction, whatever it's gonna be, that's probably fine." "gonna be, that's probably fine." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "JENNY:" "Howdo youfeel?" "JENNY:" "Howdo youfeel?" "CAITLYN:" "Uh,alot of" "CAITLYN:" "Uh,alot of anxiety." "anxiety." "JENNY:" "Yeah." "JENNY:" "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "Yeah." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah." "Yeah." "JENNY:" "Youhavetothinkit's" "JENNY:" "Youhavetothinkit's gonna be okay, and... gonna be okay, and..." "CAITLYN:" "Yeah,allright," "CAITLYN:" "Yeah,allright, babe, thank you for the... babe, thank you for the..." "JENNY:" "So,Ithinkit's gonna" "JENNY:" "So,Ithinkit's gonna be okay." "be okay." "CAITLYN:" "Okay." "Thankyou for" "CAITLYN:" "Okay." "Thankyou for  the encouragement." "the encouragement." "I appreciate it." "I appreciate it." "I got to get dressed." "I got to get dressed." "She's gonna be here in a little" "She's gonna be here in a little bit." "bit." "JENNY:" "I 'llseeyoulater." "JENNY:" "I 'llseeyoulater." "CAITLYN:" "Loveyou." "Bye ." "CAITLYN:" "Loveyou." "Bye ." "JENNY:" "Loveyou,too ." "JENNY:" "Loveyou,too ." "Bye-bye." "Bye-bye." "CAITLYN:" "Bye." "RONDA:" "Timeto getdressed." "They are literally on their way." "They are literally on their way." "CAITLYN:" "Okay." "CAITLYN:" "Okay." "(hair dryer whirring)" "(hair dryer whirring) Well, Kris is coming over." "Well, Kris is coming over." "I have not seen her, talked to" "I have not seen her, talked to her... her..." "months and months and months." "months and months and months." "Finally, we're meeting today." "Finally, we're meeting today." "Should be interesting." "Should be interesting." "Uh, I don't know if we'll" "Uh, I don't know if we'll resolve anything or whatever, resolve anything or whatever, but, you know, I just probably but, you know, I just probably should get some things off my" "should get some things off my chest, and probably her, too." "chest, and probably her, too." "You know, we did have a lot of" "You know, we did have a lot of great times." "great times." "We've moved on, both of us, but" "We've moved on, both of us, but I don't want to throw all the" "I don't want to throw all the good times away." "good times away." "And so, for the kids" " Kendall" "And so, for the kids" " Kendall and Kylie" " I don't want and Kylie" " I don't want tension." "tension." "I don't want to put them in a" "I don't want to put them in a tough position." "tough position." "It's really very, very difficult" "It's really very, very difficult on me." "on me." "(knocking)" "CAITLYN:" "So?" "CANDIS:" "You'rechangingyour life, you're changing your name." "life, you're changing your name." "Let's celebrate the new" "Let's celebrate the new beginning." "beginning." "CAITLYN:" "Hello,everybody." "CAITLYN:" "Hello,everybody." "CANDIS:" "Oh,my God,Boy" "CANDIS:" "Oh,my God,Boy  George!" "George!" "(cheering)" "(cheering) CAITLYN:" "Forthefirsttime ," "CAITLYN:" "Forthefirsttime , I feel like I fit in some place." "I feel like I fit in some place." "(crying):" "Because of these" "(crying):" "Because of these ladies over here." "ladies over here." "(applause)" "(applause) KRIS:" "I wasstrugglingand" "KRIS:" "I wasstrugglingand  having a really hard time... having a really hard time..." "CAITLYN:" "Withwhat?" "CAITLYN:" "Withwhat?" "KRIS:" "Yourtransitionand" "KRIS:" "Yourtransitionand  this, like, leaving us in the this, like, leaving us in the dust." "dust." "CAITLYN:" "Nobody'sleavingyou" "CAITLYN:" "Nobody'sleavingyou  guys in the dust." "guys in the dust." "KRIS:" "Youleftusinthe" "KRIS:" "Youleftusinthe dust." "dust." "(crying):" "What happened to the" "(crying):" "What happened to the life we had together?" "life we had together?" "CAITLYN:" "Don'tplaythe" "CAITLYN:" "Don'tplaythe  martyr." "martyr." "Never texted me, never said" "Never texted me, never said anything, never called." "anything, never called." "Captioningsponsoredby" "Captioningsponsoredby  BUNIM-MURRAYPRODUCTIONS"