"♪ I want to do whatever I want to do... ♪" "♪ 'cause it feels good to be bad... ♪" "Sam:" "That should do it." "Computer's all set up." "Whoa!" "What are you doing?" " Jessie, we're co-workers." " So?" "Let's live dangerously." "You misunderstood something." "I'm not attracted to you in that way." "Wait." "Did you think that this was a date?" "Is it my glasses?" "I mean, honestly, they're not helping." "Oh, God." "No." "They were helping." "Put them back on." "[ Guns cock ] Freeze!" "Looks like this date just went from bad to " "Whoa." "Not a date." "Diego!" "Diego!" "Washed ashore this morning." "Thanks for coming in on your day off." "No problem." "So, we tried to run the plates, but it turns out it's not a car." "It's a boat." "And it's Jessie's boat, all right." "There's trace amounts of loneliness and desperation all over the place." "Looks like we don't have all of the pieces to what I like to call "the puzzle."" "Perhaps I could be of some help." "Commander Kove thought my powers of persuasion might be of service." "They call me "The Mentleman."" "What is that supposed be?" "Some combination of the words men and gentleman?" "Alphonse:" "The Mentleman." "You're the dude who can see the past with his mind, right?" "Indeed." "And more." "Excuse me." "[ Gasping ]" "The sailboat washed up this morning..." "[ Laughter ]" "During a volleyball game..." "Uh-oh!" "Oh, my God!" "I love volleyball." "An all-female volleyball game." "Oh!" "Nice one!" "Dirty, dirty girls." "Oh!" "Nasties!" "Sweaty on top." "[ Moans ]" " This guy's a phony." " Alphonse:" "Yeah." "You got me, dawg." "Oh." "Don't bother with your tricks, Mentleman." "I can't be hypnotized." "Dog." "You are a dog." "[ Trent barking ]" "[ Claps ] Piper:" "Wow!" "[ Alphonse laughs ] Now Trent is the dog!" "How amazing!" "Seems your bark is worse than your bite." "[ Trent howling ]" "How many ships do you have?" ""Ships"?" "I mean, one, but it -- It's just a sailboat." "You lie!" "You, ugly girl, you tell truth, or we hurt your boyfriend." "Whoa, I am not her boyfriend." "We " " No, we don't know what this is." "We're figuring it out as we go along." "No." "I know exactly what this is." "We're friends-ish." "Kove:" "What do you have?" "We managed to isolate a footprint that was made in lipstick that we found on the boat." "What am I looking at?" "Explain this to me." "Of course." "It's called a footprint." "You see, everyone's step has a unique marking." "And we found one of these markings and then were able to use it to determine some information about the people who took Jessie." "Like, for example, what type of shoe they wear." "Interesting." " So we all have these footprints?" " Yes." " And they're all the same?" " No." "They're actually all unique and different, which is why I was able to use this footprint and route it into the computer and print out a duplicate of the actual shoe." "Trent:" "Looks like an Imperial Navy boot that the Japanese wore in World War II." "Are you saying that our abductors are Japanese sailors?" "Or Japanese World War II boot enthusiasts?" "Wow!" "Check out that calendar!" "Casual analysis of the paper quality suggests an Eastern origin of early- to mid-20th century." "Maybe somewhere around 1941?" "Possibly." "[ Sighs ]" "My second favorite conspiracy blog did a whole series on this." "Some Japanese submarines got lost on their way to attack Pearl Harbor and are still out there, fighting a war that ended generations ago." "Captain, we see land!" "Finally, Hawaii is within our reach." "For seventy years, we have lived in this sub." "We have loved in this sub." "We have been married, divorced, had children, watched them grow into manhood." "And they have children of their own and die themselves." "And now we have our revenge!" "Lower the torpedoes!" "[ Horn sounds ]" "If she's not on land, maybe she's still on the water." "Can you get a mental image of where Jessie is now?" "I will just let my fingertips do the seeing." "He's quite a catch." "Piper, you're single, right?" " No." "I'm engaged." " Oh, right." " How about you, Alphonse?" " I'm straight!" "Really?" "!" "I've got some fish, and -- And they're doing it." "[ Laughing ] Yeah, a whole lot of them." "Oh, God." "They're really goin' at it, dropping eggs." "Get that fish, get it." "All right." "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey." "Listen up, dirt bags, knock that trash off." "Apparently, there is a World War II-era Japanese submarine off the coast of San Diego." "Don't ask me how." "Japanese sub." "We found Japanese footprints on Jessie's boat." "I don't " " I don't see how those two things are related." "But, hey." "You're the boss." "We'll radio you the submarine's coordinates right now." "Hey, dumbass, did you hear what I just said?" "Send the coordinates!" "If you don't send the coordinates, I will blow a hole in this sub and kill us all!" "[ Beep ] Thank you!" "So Jessie and Sam are stuck on a Japanese sub." "If it had to be two people, they're the ones for the job." "I'm referring of course to the fact that they have the least to live for." "Maybe if I can get aboard, I could do something." "Like what?" "Birdie, can you hypnotize in..." "Japanese?" "What's the point of even trying to escape?" "We're a mile under water." "[ Jessie sighs ]" "What we need to do is somehow force them to surface." "Wait." "These old ships used to have argon tanks in their aft compartment." "It's a harmless gas, but it might trick them into thinking they need..." "Fresh air." "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." "Whoa." "You misread that as -- as some sort of connection." "Guards, I'm being attacked!" "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." "You naked under there?" "Why, is it making you uncomfortable?" "[ Trent scoffs ]" " Trent!" " Jessie." " Thank God you're alive." " What about me?" "Well, well, well, lookie here." "Were you on a date with this woman?" " Because you could do so much better." " I know." "Listen." "We have a plan." "Sam has a harmonic resonance equalizer." " Yeah." "I calibrate it to cause a rupture." " We got a better plan." "The Mentleman and I are gonna hypnotize the entire crew and make them think they're dogs." "Stay here." "Hey." "We're still handcuffed." "Now!" "Inu." "You are an inu." "Inu." "[ Barking, growling ]" "Inu." "Inu." "[ All barking ]" "Looks like we taught these old dogs some new tricks." "Nope." "Too dark." "That sub is going to spend the rest of its days just circling, circling like a dumb dog trying to catch its own tail." "[ Jessie laughs ] Great job, everyone." " Great work." " Hey, Jessie." "Um, I thought we made a really good team back there on the sub." "And I got two tickets to the boat show." "Sorry, Sam." "It's too late." "I'm already going with the Mentleman." "[ Sam clears throat ] What the hell, man?" "I thought you said she was really ugly." "Got to feed the beast." "So, it looks like World War II is finally over." "It's never over." "As long as there are Japanese people on American soil." "So, what about you, Mentleman?" "You gonna stick around for a while?" "Uh..." "No." "I think my work here is done." " Bye." " Buh-bye." " Buh-bye." " See you, Mentleman." "Thanks so much for all of your great work." "[ All barking ]" "[ Howls ]"