"GOSSIP GIRL HERE" "YOUR ONE AND ONLY SOURCE INTO THE SCANDALOUS LIVES OF MANHATTAN'S ELITE." "OH, MY GOD." "YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT'S ON "GOSSIP GIRL."" "SOMEONE SAW SERENA AT GRAND CENTRAL." "I'VE WAITED MY ENTIRE ADOLESCENT LIFE FOR A DATE WITH THIS GIRL." "YOU'D REALLY GO OUT WITH SOME GUY YOU DON'T KNOW?" "WELL, YOU CAN'T BE WORSE ?" "YOU'RE GOING OUT WITH SERENA," "AND I'M GOING TO KISS ON THE LIPS." "WHO SAID THIS FAMILY WASN'T COOL?" "MM." "WHY IS MY DAUGHTER GOING TO ONE OF YOUR CONCERTS WITH YOUR SON?" "IF YOU WANT TO BE PART OF THIS WORLD, JENNY," "YOU NEED TO DECIDE IF ALL THIS..." "IS WORTH IT." "LOOK, IF YOU'RE READY TO LEAVE, YOU TELL US, OKAY?" "NO MATTER WHAT MOM SAYS." "I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO GET OUT OF HERE." "I DID THIS." "MY MOM KINDA LEFT US A COUPLE MONTHS AGO." "MY DAD AND MY SISTER DON'T REALLY SEE THAT." "I DATED A GIRL LIKE SERENA ONCE." "YOUR WIFE WOULD NOT WANT THIS ?" "SHE DOESN'T DO BACKGROUND CHECKS ON PROSPECTIVE BUYERS," "AND NEITHER DO I. BESIDES, IT'S BEEN ALMOST 20 YEARS." "AND YOU STILL ?" "HEY, HOW ABOUT YOU ASK ME OUT AGAIN?" "HOW ABOUT YOU ACTUALLY SHOW UP?" "OKAY." "NO DRAMA, NO DISRUPTIONS, I PROMISE." "PROMISE?" "OH, NO!" "THAT MEANS IT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN NOW." "AAH!" "OKAY, QUICK." "I TAKE IT BACK." "I UNPROMISE." "FRIDAY. 8:00." "AND WHO AM I?" "THAT'S A SECRET I'LL NEVER TELL." "YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME." "X.O.X.O., GOSSIP GIRL." "WITH BLAIR'S BOYFRIEND NATE" "HELPING TO CLOSE UP THE FAMILY YACHT FOR THE SEASON," "BLAIR IS FREE TO FOCUS" "ON THE MOST IMPORTANT EVENT OF THE FALL" "HER ANNUAL SLEEPOVER," "A TRADITION SINCE THE YEAR 2000," "EACH ONE MORE DECADENT THAN THE LAST." "NO EXPENSE OR REPUTATION IS SPARED." "WITH EVERYTHING FROM TRUNDLE BEDS TO TRUFFLES IN PLACE," "ALL THAT'S MISSING" "IS SLEEPOVER STAR AND WALDORF B.F.F." "SERENA VAN DER WOODSEN." "HEY, DAD." "I'M HEADED TO THE BANK." "YOU WANT ME TO DEPOSIT THE CHECK FROM MOM'S SALE WHILE I'M THERE?" "DID YOU KNOCK OVER A PARKING METER?" "NO, THIS IS THE ENTIRE CONTENTS" "FROM MY TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLE PIGGY BANK." "HOW LONG CAN A MAN HAVE A PIGGY BANK" "AND STILL CALL HIMSELF A MAN?" "I TH--I THOUGHT IT WAS TIME TO BREAK DONATELLO OPEN." "SO TONIGHT'S THE BIG NIGHT, HUH?" "IT IS, AND I HAVE IT ALL PLANNED." "6 POUNDS OF PLAN, ACTUALLY." "I KNOW IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I TOOK SOMEONE ON A DATE, BUT, UH," "MOVIE TICKET PRICES HAVEN'T RISEN THAT MUCH, HAVE THEY?" "DAD, THIS IS SERENA VAN DER WOODSEN." "I CAN'T JUST TAKE HER TO A MOVIE." "I WANT THIS TO BE PERFECT." "UM..." "CHECK?" "WANT ME TO DEPOSIT IT?" "YOU STILL HAVEN'T TOLD HER YET, HAVE YOU?" "DAD, THAT'S MOM FIRST SALE." "THAT PAINTING SOLD DAYS AGO." "IT'S KIND OF A HUGE DEAL." "I KNOW, WHICH IS WHY I WAS THINKING" "OF SURPRISING HER MYSELF, HEADING UPSTATE TO HUDSON," "BRINGING HER THE CHECK IN PERSON." "WHAT?" "AREN'T I SUPPOSED TO DELIVER GOOD NEWS IN PERSON?" "I THINK THAT'S BAD NEWS." "GOOD NEWS MIGHT JUST BE FINE WITH A PHONE CALL." "SO YOU'RE SAYING I SHOULDN'T GO SEE HER?" "I'M SAYING, I DON'T THINK MOM IS A HUGE FAN OF SURPRISES." "YOUR REMEMBER HER, UH, 30th BIRTHDAY" "WITH THE CLOWN AND HIS LLAMA?" "YEAH, THAT DIDN'T..." "DIDN'T GO OVER WELL." "IT TANKED." "YEAH." "I'LL CALL HER FIRST, JUST TO BE SAFE." "NEED SOME CHANGE FOR THAT?" "HEY!" "JUST THE LITTLE SISTER I WAS LOOKING FOR." "I NEED ANSWERS, AND I NEED THEM NOW." "YOUR BROTHER IS BEING VERY MYSTERIOUS ABOUT OUR DATE TONIGHT." "WELL, HE'S A VERY MYSTERIOUS GUY, APPARENTLY." "LOOK, HE WON'T EVEN TELL ME WHERE WE'RE GOING." "CAN YOU JUST GIVE ME A HINT?" "ARE WE GOING TO SOME SECRET CLUB" "TO SEE THE BEST UNSIGNED BAND IN BROOKLYN?" "OR--OR A GUERILLA ART EXHIBIT IN DUMBO?" "OR, HEY, ISN'T THE NEW YORK FILM FESTIVAL STILL GOING ON?" "YOU DON'T LEAVE MUCH ROOM FOR SURPRISE, DO YOU?" "WELL, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRESS FOR SURPRISE." "NOT EVERYTHING GOES WITH IT, YOU KNOW." "WELL, I'D SAY JEANS ?" "THE HUMPHREY MEN DO CASUAL FRIDAY EVERY DAY." "OH." "OH, IT'S MY BROTHER." "OH, I SAY HI." "ERIC, HEY," "Jenny says hi." "WELL, HI BACK." "DID SHE SPILL ABOUT TONIGHT?" "NO, NOT A DROP." "YOU ALL PACKED?" "Yeah,?" "HEY, SPEAKING OF WHICH, IS MOM STILL THERE?" "YEAH, SHE'S TALKING TO THE DOCTOR NOW." "I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE'S ACTUALLY LETTING ME COME HOME FOR A WEEKEND." "I DON'T THINK I EVEN REMEMBER WHAT A WEEKEND IS." "What time's your date?" "Maybe we'll cross paths at the Palace." "7:00." "Can't wait to see u ME, TOO." "BYE." "'KAY, LOVE YOU, ERIC." "BYE." "WHAT WAS THAT I HEARD?" "ERIC'S COMING HOME?" "PERFECT TIMING." "HOW SO?" "WELL, IT GIVES YOUR MOTHER AND BROTHER TIME TO BOND" "ALONE TONIGHT WHILE YOU GET DRUNK ON SCHNAPPS" "AND MOON THE N.Y.U. DORMS FROM THE LIMO." "BLAIR,?" "S., IT'S ONLY THE MOST IMPORTANT NIGHT OF THE FALL." "OH, THE SLEEPOVER." "I PREFER "SOIREE."" ""SLEEPOVER" IS SO SOPHOMORE YEAR." "LOOK, YOU KNOW I CAN'T GO TO THAT." "I HAVE THAT PLAN." "SERENA, WHEN THERE'S A WALDORF SOIREE," "THERE'S NOTHING ELSE ON THE SOCIAL CALENDAR." "BLAIR, THE PLAN IS DAN." "REMEMBER, THE GUY YOU REALIZED IS ACTUALLY A HUMAN BEING" "AND WORTHY OF YOUR TIME AND ATTENTION?" "NO OFFENSE." "NONE TAKEN." "LOOK, I'M REALLY SORRY, BUT THIS DATE IS UNBREAKABLE." "MAYBE WE CAN SWING BY LATER OR SOMETHING-- I'M NOT A STOP ALONG THE WAY." "I'M A DESTINATION, AND IF YOU REFUSE TO ATTEND," "I'M GONNA HAVE TO FIND A REPLACEMENT." "GIRLS, THE WAITING LIST." "OKAY." "WELL, UH, I SHOULD GET GOING." "BYE." "GOOD LUCK TONIGHT." "THANK YOU." "LITTLE JENNY HUMPHREY." "WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF YOU BEFORE?" "YOU HAVE NO PLANS." "YOU'RE COMING TO THE SOIREE." "ME?" "REALLY?" "HER?" "REALLY?" "THE THING IS, IF YOU COME, YOU'LL HAVE TO BE UP" "TO A LITTLE MORE THAN JUST SLEEPING." "I'M UP FOR ANYTHING." "MY PLACE. 7:00 SHARP." "OKAY." "BYE." "OH, A GIRL'S FIRST SLEEPOVER" "SOMETHING SHE'LL NEVER FORGET." "LET'S MAKE SURE OF IT." "TAKING BETS ON HOW LONG SHE LASTS?" "50 BUCKS SAY AN HOUR AND NOT 1 MINUTE MORE." "I DON'T UNDERSTAND." "HE SAID I WAS READY." "WE TALKED ABOUT IT IN OUR SESSION THIS MORNING." "WHAT HE SAID" "IS THAT YOU COULD COME HOME, NOT THAT YOU SHOULD." "BUT, MOM, I THOUGHT-- I DON'T WANNA ARGUE ABOUT THIS." "I NEED TIME TO THINK." "PLEASE." "LOOK, I TOLD THE DOCTOR I WOULD TAKE IT UNDER ADVISEMENT." "YOU CAN'T JUST WALK OUT OF HERE ANYWAY." "THERE'S PAPERS THAT HAVE TO BE SIGNED," "RELEASE FORMS, INSURANCE-- I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU." "YOU WANT TO KEEP ME HERE FOREVER." "IF YOU STILL THINK I'M "KEEPING YOU HERE,"" "THAT JUST PROVES HOW NOT READY YOU ARE TO COME HOME." "LOOK, WE'LL TALK ABOUT THIS TOMORROW." "YEAH." "YEAH, YOU BET WE WILL." "HEY." "HEY." "HEY, UH, AM I EARLY OR..." "UH..." "UM..." "NO." "NO, I, UH, I'M JUST RUNNING LATE." "COME IN." "UM..." "EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO" "SLIP INTO SOMETHING LESS COMFORTABLE." "SURE, SURE." "TALK TO ME WHILE I CHANGE?" "I WILL." "OKAY." "SAY, IT'S A NICE PLACE THAT YOU AND... 800 OTHER PEOPLE HAVE GOT HERE." "YEAH, THE, UH, IDENTICAL SURROUNDINGS" "DO MAKE YOU CRAZY AFTER A LITTLE WHILE." "SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE" "I'M IN A SECRET GOVERNMENT EXPERIMENT." "MOST GOVERNMENT EXPERIMENTS" "DON'T HAVE PLASMA TVs OR MAID SERVICES." "JUST SOMETHING I'VE NOTICED." "DAN." "DOES SERENA KNOW YOU'RE HERE?" "YEAH, OF COURSE." "YEAH, SHE LET ME IN." "AT LEAST, I HOPE THAT WAS HER." "SHE'S ABOUT, UH, YEA TALL AND VERY BLONDE?" "IT MAKES JOKES." "CUTE." "BIG SHOPPING DAY?" "I HAD A LOT ON MY MIND." "SO WHERE ARE YOU TAKING MY DAUGHTER TONIGHT?" "I..." "I DON'T KNOW." "I THOUGHT MAYBE WE'D DO A WALKING TOUR OF NEW YORK UNDERGROUND," "VISIT MY FRIENDS THE MOLE PEOPLE." "THEY'RE GREAT, EXCEPT THEY ONLY EVER EAT LEFTOVERS." "I'M SORRY." "I DON'T KNOW WHY I JUST SAID ANY OF THAT." "I HAVE--I HAVE THIS THING, THIS NERVOUS TIC" "WHERE I NEVER STOP SPEAKING, LIKE, EVER." "IN FACT, WHEN I WAS A LITTLE BOY, MY MOM USED TO SAY" "THERE WAS NEVER A WORD I MET THAT I DIDN'T LIKE." "YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I LIKE?" "YOUR DAUGHTER." "I-I REALLY LIKE YOUR DAUGHTER." "I..." "WOW." "YOU'RE NOT WEARING THAT WITH THAT, ARE YOU?" "UH, MOM..." "HERE." "WAIT." "TAKE THIS." "OH, THANK YOU." "HEY, UM, WHERE'S ERIC?" "I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA BE HOME BY NOW." "OH, HE WAS TOO TIRED TO COME HOME TONIGHT." "MOM." "LATER." "COME ON." "LET'S GO." "HOME BY 1:00." "BONUS POINTS FOR 12:45." "OH, MY GOD, A VESPA!" "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!" "I LOVE VESPAS!" "OH, MY GOSH." "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND." "I SPENT ONE OF MY FAVORITE SUMMERS RIDING ALL AROUND ITALY" "ON ONE OF THESE." "HOW DID YOU KNOW?" "MY MOM WON'T LET ME LEARN TO DRIVE" "'CAUSE SHE SAYS THAT'S WHAT DRIVERS ARE FOR," "BUT REALLY, DAN, THIS IS AMAZING." "REALLY." "COME ON." "WHERE ARE THE HELMETS?" "MR. HUMPHREY." "IS HE--IS HE OURS?" "YEAH." "OKAY, GREAT." "SPOTTED ON THE STEPS OF THE PALACE" "CINDERELLA STEPPING ONTO A PUMPKIN" "INSTEAD OF HER CARRIAGE." "LUCKY FOR LONELY BOY," "THERE'S MORE THAN ONE FABLE FILLING OUR IN-BOX." "IT'S NOT BAD." "I WILL TAKE THAT FOR YOU, YES?" "JENNY!" "OH, I'M SO GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT." "HERE'S AN INSIDE TIP, LITTLE J." "THE FASTER YOU RISE, THE HARDER YOU FALL." "HOPE THAT HELLO KITTY SLEEPING BAG" "DOUBLES AS A PARACHUTE." "LET THE GAMES BEGIN." "UM, HOW'S THE BRAISED QUAIL?" "VERY GOOD, SIR." "MM. OKAY." "AND THE, UH, THE LAY-PIN?" "LAH-PAN." "IT'S DELIGHTFUL." "OKAY, WHAT IS THAT AGAIN?" "RABBIT, SIR." "OH, WELL, I WON'T BE HAVING THAT." "UM, HOW ABOUT CHICKEN?" "YOU CAN'T GO WRONG WITH CHICKEN." "YES, SIR." "THANK YOU." "MISS?" "UH, I'LL HAVE THE LOBSTER BISQUE" "AND MUSCOVY DUCK, PLEASE." "THANK YOU." "MERCI, MADEMOISELLE." "I CAN'T BELIEVE THE WAITER FORGOT ME." "I WAS--I WAS JUST HERE..." "THE OTHER DAY." "YEAH, I COME HERE FOR THE CROWD." "YOU WANNA PLAY "MISTRESS OR SECOND WIFE"?" "BECAUSE IT'S HARDER THAN IT LOOKS." "BELIEVE ME." "SO IS HER FACE." "UH, WILL YOU EXCUSE ME?" "I, UH..." "I'M GONNA GO TO THE RESTROOM TO FRESHEN UP A LITTLE." "YEAH, OF COURSE, OF COURSE." "I THINK THE BATHROOMS ARE" "UH, DON'T WORRY." "I'LL FIND THEM." "OH, EXCUSE ME, SIR." "UH, HOW MUCH IS THAT DUCK SHE JUST ORDERED?" "$78, SIR." "OKAY, RIGHT." "THANK YOU." "UM, YOU KNOW WHAT?" "CAN YOU JUST CANCEL MY MAIN DISH," "AND I'LL JUST HAVE THE APPETIZER AS THE MAIN?" "OF COURSE, SIR." "THANK YOU." "THANK YOU." "MERCI." "TOO BEYONC?" "TOO MARY-KATE." "TOO HANNAH MONTANA." "WOW." "EVEN I'M IMPRESSED." "UM, I DON'T KNOW." "I MEAN, DON'T REALLY..." "FEEL RIGHT." "WELL, AS MY MOTHER ALWAYS SAYS, "FASHION KNOWS NOT OF COMFORT."" "ALL THAT MATTERS IS THE FACE YOU SHOW THE WORLD," "AND YOUR FACE LOOKS LIKE IT'S GOING TO A BAT MITZVAH." "BUT BEFORE WE CONTINUE THE RENOVATION..." "MARTINI." "OH, NO, THANKS." "I DON'T LIKE VODKA." "OH, THAT'S NICE, BECAUSE THIS IS GIN," "AS IT SHOULD BE." "IT'S A PARTY, JENNY." "EITHER SWALLOW THAT OR SWIPE YOUR METROCARD BACK HOME." "IT'S UP TO YOU." "ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE." "WHO'S READY FOR A GAME OF "TRUTH OR DARE"?" "OH, I LOVE "TRUTH OR DARE."" "ONCE I HAD TO EAT AN ENTIRE BAG OF MARSHMALLOWS." "THAT'S NICE, LITTLE HUMPHREY, BUT, UM, THAT'S NOT HOW WE PLAY." "WELL, HOW DO YOU PLAY?" "I THINK I'LL GO TRUTH." "Hello?" "Hello?" "WHAT AM I, A TEENAGER?" "Hello?" "YEAH, HEY, I MUST HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER." "Did you just call a second ago?" "SORRY ABOUT THAT," "BUT I--I'M PRETTY SURE THIS IS THE RIGHT NUMBER." "Who are you trying to reach?" "IS ALISON HUMPHREY THERE?" "Hold on a second." "She just got out of the shower." "Al?" "It's for you." "Who's calling?" "RUFUS HUMPHREY." "WHO IS THIS?" "Alexander Bancroft, uh, just her--just..." "I'm--I'm a friend." "SO AM I, IT SEEMS." "I'm here." "I'm here." "Hello?" "THANK YOU." "ARE YOU SURE YOU DIDN'T WANT ANY OF MY DINNER?" "YOU ENTRéE WAS SO SMALL." "NO, NO, NO, NO." "IT WAS AMAZING." "I DIDN'T REALIZE, UH, FISH COULD BE CREAMED." "WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE THE DESSERT MENU?" "OH, NO, THANK YOU." "I THINK WE'RE FINE." "SURE YOU DON'T WANT DESSERT?" "YEAH." "OKAY, WELL, THEN WE'LL JUST GET THE CHECK, PLEASE." "UH, ACTUALLY I ALREADY TOOK CARE OF THAT EARLIER." "WHAT?" "MM-HMM." "YEAH, I-I JUST CHARGED IT ON MY MOM'S CARD." "IT'S--IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL." "DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT." "YOU KNOW, I CAN PAY." "IT'S NOT LIKE I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY." "YEAH, I'M--I'M SURE YOU DO." "YOU JUST SHOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND IT HERE." "I DON'T UNDERSTAND." "DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG?" "NO." "LOOK, I WANTED A DATE WITH YOU," "JUST NOT THE DATE YOU THOUGHT I WANTED." "IT'S--IT'S FINE." "ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT." "WELL, THEN..." "IF IT'S A REAL DAN HUMPHREY DATE THAT YOU WANT," "THEN IT'S A REAL DAN HUMPHREY DATE" "THAT YOU'RE GONNA GET." "LET'S GO." "REALLY?" "YES." "MADEMOISELLE." "SPOTTED FLEEING DESSERT" "S. AND LONELY BOY LIGHTER THAN AIR" "AND HEADING DOWNTOWN." "IT WASN'T EASY GETTING THE ENTIRE UNIFORM, BUT..." "DONE AND DONE." "WHAT'S THE DOORMAN WEARING?" "DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT THAT, LITTLE J." "JUST DRINK UP." "YOU'RE LAGGING BEHIND." "OH, MY PHONE." ""S.O.S. STILL IN PRISON."" "IS THAT ERIC VAN DER WOODSEN?" "I THOUGHT HE WENT HOME FOR THE WEEKEND." "GUESS IT DIDN'T HAPPEN." "IS, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THE GIRLS TO VISCONTI?" "MEET YOU THERE IN AN HOUR?" "LET'S RAMP THIS UP, SHALL WE?" "TRUTH OR DARE?" "OH, AND YOU ALREADY USED YOUR TRUTH." "SO..." "DARE?" "I DARE YOU TO JAILBREAK ERIC." "BLAIR." "IT'S PERFECT." "YOU WANT IN, AND HE WANTS OUT." "WHAT'S IT GONNA BE?" "DO OR DIE, LITTLE J.?" "SPOTLIGHT ON LITTLE J," "NOW PUT TO THE TEST BY ONE QUEEN B." "WILL J. TAKE THE BAIT AND TURN FROM BRADY TO BRITNEY," "OR WILL HER GOODY TWO-SHOES MIND-SET" "TURN INTO THE NIGHT'S BIGGEST BUZZ KILL?" "Let's do it." "SURPRISE." "JENNY, HEY." "WH--WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" "YOUR S.O.S. WAS HEARD AND ANSWERED." "COME ON, WE'RE BREAKING YOU OUT." "WAIT, HOW..." "WAIT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN "WE"?" "OKAY, I HAVE A PROBLEM." "I HAVE A BIG PROBLEM." "IT STARTS WITH A CAPITAL Rx." "WHAT DRUGS HAVE YOU BEEN TAKING?" "MM, CAFFEINE," "NICOTINE, KETAMINE," "G.H.B., P.C.P., L.S.D.," "DI--DRI--DIAZEPAM," "LORAZEPAM." "ALL THE PAMS, REALLY." "YOU KNOW, I DON'T DISCRIMINATE." "APPARENTLY NOT." "CODE YELLOW, FLOOR SIX." "WHY DON'T YOU WAIT RIGHT HERE?" "I'LL GET A DOCTOR." "AND I'D LOVE A CAPPUCCINO." "COME ON, LET'S GO." "I HEARD YOU WERE BORED, AND FIGURED I OWED YOU ONE." "YEAH, TRY 50." "OKAY, COME ON." "GET A MOVE ON." "COME ON." "HELLO?" "WHAT?" "HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?" "WH" "HE WAS WITH WHO?" "YOUNG, BLONDE AND BEAUTIFUL." "YEP," "THAT'S HIS SISTER." "I'LL FIND THEM." "THANK YOU." "AH, OF COURSE." "OOH!" "AND ANOTHER ONE." "SORRY, JOE." "THAT'S GAME." "UH, THAT'S 75 BUCKS." "I THINK THAT PAYS FOR YOUR DUCK." "THAT IT DOES." "THANK YOU." "SO WHAT NOW?" "YOU PLAY ME." "YOU?" "YEAH, UNLESS YOU'RE AFRAID TO LOSE." "I THINK THE ONLY THING BEING LOST IN THIS GAME WOULD BE YOUR DIGNITY." " OH, REALLY?" " YES." " YOU THINK SO?" " I THINK SO." "WELL, THEN RACK 'EM UP." "I'LL BUY US A SOUNDTRACK." "THIS BETTER NOT BE MY WIFE." "RUFUS, DO YOU ALWAYS ANSWER THE PHONE LIKE THAT?" "LILY?" "LISTEN, I NEED YOUR SON'S CELL PHONE NUMBER." "IT'S AN EMERGENCY." "A REAL EMERGENCY OR A LILY EMERGENCY?" "ERIC IS MISSING." "MISSING?" "FROM WHERE?" "FROM..." "HIS--HIS ROOM HERE... at the hotel." "I--I'M TRYING TO GET IN TOUCH WITH HIM," "BUT HE'S NOT ANSWERING HIS PHONE." "I THINK HE'S WITH SERENA." "DID YOU TRY HER?" "SHE LEFT HER PHONE HERE." "YOUR SON'S CELL NUMBER-- THAT'S ALL I NEED." "THEY'RE ON A DATE, LIL." "IF THEY PICKED ERIC UP ALONG THE WAY," "I bet they're having fun." "I HAVE A SITUATION HERE." "A SITUATION?" "YOUR SON IS WITH YOUR DAUGHTER AND MY KID." "I TRUST THEM." "WHY DON'T YOU?" "RUFUS." "GOOD-BYE, LILY." "ALWAYS A PLEASURE." "HEY, BABY, YOU WANT TO, UH," "MAYBE SHOW ME TO THE BATHROOM," "GET LOST SOMEWHERE AROUND THE COAT CHECK?" "WELL, MY ANSWER IS USUALLY "NEVER SAY NEVER,"" "BUT FOR YOU, I'LL MAKE AN EXCEPTION." "OH!" "WHO LET THE HEDGE FUND MAFIA IN HERE?" "I THOUGHT MATCHY-MATCHY WAS OVER." "SO ERIC'S HERE." "NOW IT'S YOUR TURN." "TRUTH OR DARE?" "DO YOU HAVE TO ASK?" "I DARE YOU TO MAKE OUT WITH THAT GUY." "EASY." "AND MEAN IT." "WATCH AND LEARN, LITTLE HUMPHREY." "I HOPE AMANDA NEVER FINDS OUT." "WHO'S AMANDA?" "JUST MY GIRLFRIEND." "AMANDA NEVER HAS TO KNOW, DOES SHE?" "WELL, I'M NOT TELLING HER." "LOOK WHAT I GOT." "I DARE YOU TO CALL HIS GIRLFRIEND." "HER NAME'S AMANDA." "DONE AND DONE." "HELLO?" "AMANDA?" "HI." "THIS IS BL" "CLAIRE." "YEAH," "I JUST HAD MY TONGUE DOWN YOUR BOYFRIEND'S THROAT," "AND HE NEGLECTED TO TELL ME YOU EXISTED UNTIL AFTER IT WAS OVER." "JUST THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW." "HE'S A REAL CATCH." "BYE." "ALL RIGHT, SLEEPOVER OF THE YEAR." "WHOO!" "HEY, EVERYBODY'S GOTTA START SOMEWHERE." "MAYBE LITTLE J. ISN'T SO LITTLE ANYMORE." "OH!" "OH, NO!" "GAME OVER." "YOU LOST FAIR AND SQUARE," "AND THAT'S SQUARED." "OH!" "AM I REALLY THAT BAD?" "THERE AREN'T ENOUGH WORDS TO DESCRIBE THE KIND OF BAD YOU ARE." "WELL, YOU PROMISED IF YOU LOST AGAIN, YOU'D TEACH ME." "ALL RIGHT." "ALL RIGHT." "THAT'S A PROMISE I INTEND TO KEEP, NOT JUST FOR YOU," "BUT FOR DIVE BARS EVERYWHERE ALL ACROSS AMERICA." "ALL RIGHT, COME HERE." "NOW YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER, IN POOL, IT'S ALL ABOUT" "TAKE THIS STICK" "REMEMBER, IT'S ALL ABOUT THE ANGLES, THE RIGHT ANGLE, OF COURSE." " MM-HMM." " TAKE THE SHOT." "OKAY." "UM, BRING YOUR HAND BACK ..." " ..." "HERE." " RIGHT." "AND, UH, WAIT." "OH, OKAY." "HOLD ON." "YOU GOTTA BE SLOW AND JUST FOLLOW THROUGH, ALL RIGHT?" "OH!" "OH!" "THIS IS MY SONG." "FINALLY." "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU LIKED THIS KIND OF MUSIC." "I THINK WE'VE ALREADY ESTABLISHED THE THINGS YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME." "OH, OTH--OTHER THAN YOU'RE ..." "TOTAL LACK OF POOLS SKILLS," "WHAT ELSE?" "THAT I'M HAVING THE BEST TIME RIGHT NOW?" "THAT I KNEW." "AHEM." "THERE'S SOMETHING VIBRATING IN YOUR POCKET," "AND I REALLY HOPE IT'S YOUR PHONE." "HOLD ON." "OH, IT'S MY DAD." "HE KNOWS I'M WITH YOU." "HE WOULDN'T CALL IF IT WASN'T IMPORTANT." "OH, YEAH, OF COURSE." "TAKE IT." "HELLO?" "WHAT?" "NO, NO, NO, HE'S NOT." "SERENA LEFT HER PHONE AT THE HOTEL?" "WHAT?" "WHAT'S UP?" "YEAH, YEAH, YEAH." "DAD, SHE'S STANDING RIGHT HERE NEXT TO ME." "WE'LL TAKE CARE OF IT." "WAIT, TAKE CARE OF WHAT?" "SLIGHT CHANGE OF PLANS." "NO!" "NO, NO." "NO CHANGE OF PLANS." "I LIKE THIS PLAN OF YOU TEACHING ME THE ANGLES." "I KNOW." "REMEMBER, CUTE GIRL WITH TOTAL LACK OF POOL SKILLS?" "I REMEMBER." "SO DOES THE TABLE." "COME ON, WHAT COULD IT POSSIBLY BE THAT'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN THIS RIGHT HERE?" "CAN'T IT WAIT TILL TOMORROW?" "ACTUALLY, IT CAN'T." "YOU NEED TO CALL YOUR BROTHER RIGHT NOW." " HEY." "I WAS JUST ABOUT" " SO I MADE SOME CALLS," "BUT AS IT TURNS OUT, NONE OF MY PEOPLE KNOW YOUR PEOPLE." "SHOCKING, BUT TRUE." "EITHER "DAN HUMPHREY" IS AN ALIAS OR YOUR SON IS NOT VERY POPULAR." "REGARDLESS, I NEED THAT NUMBER." "I REALIZED WHEN I GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH YOU" "THAT I COULD'VE BEEN A LITTLE BIT MORE UNDERSTANDING." " YOU THINK" " I CALLED DAN." "THANK YOU." "AND YOUR SON'S NOT WITH THEM." "HE'S NOT?" "BUT SERENA GOT ERIC ON THE PHONE, AND HE'S OKAY," "AND DAN SAID THEY WOULD PHONE WHEN THEY WERE ALL TOGETHER." "YEAH," "AND YOU DIDN'T THINK TO CALL AND TELL ME ALL OF THIS?" "I WAS JUST ABOUT TO." "NOW I HATE TO SAY THIS, BUT WHY DON'T YOU SIT AND WAIT HERE?" "WE SHOULD HEAR FROM THEM SOON." "FINE." "AND I'LL PASS ON A GLASS OF THAT NONPREMIUM LIQUOR THAT YOU'RE DRINKING." "BUT I WILL TAKE SOMETHING TO EAT." "THANK YOU FOR OFFERING." "WHAT?" "YOU STILL KNOW HOW TO COOK, DON'T YOU?" "DO YOU SEE JENNY OR YOUR BROTHER?" "NO." "ARE YOU HER?" "ARE YOU CLAIRE?" "WHAT?" "NO." "UH, ARE YOU SURE WE'RE IN THE RIGHT PLACE?" "YEAH." "COME ON." " WHERE IS SHE?" " HEY!" "WHOA, WHOA." "BABY." "WHAT?" "WHO?" "I'M HERE AT THE CLUB WITH THE GUYS." "HEY!" "EXCUSE ME." "HELLO." " WHERE'S MY PHONE?" " HEY, HEY, LET GO OF HER." " WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?" " YOUR PHONE IS AT OUR TABLE." "IF YOU WEREN'T SO DRUNK AND DROOLING OVER EVERY GIRL IN THIS PLACE," " YOU WOULD'VE SEEN THAT." " I'M GONNA KILL YOU." "OH, YOU MUST BE AMANDA, RIGHT?" "WELL, I WOULD THINK TWICE BEFORE MARRYING HIM 'CAUSE HE'S A PIG." "WAIT." "HEY, HEY." "BACK OFF OF HER, OKAY?" "I DON'T NEED YOU TO DEFEND ME." "IT WASN'T EVEN HER WHO CALLED YOU." "IT WAS ME." " JENNY?" " SO SHE'S THE ONE WITH THE TONGUE?" "TONGUE?" "TONGUE-- WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING HERE?" "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE AT A SLEEPOVER." "YOU MADE OUT WITH A GIRL FROM A ?" "YOU MADE OUT WITH HIM?" "WAIT, I MADE OUT WITH HER." "IT WAS A DARE." "A DARE?" "WHAT ARE YOU, CHILDREN?" "YEAH, PRETTY MUCH." "SHE'S 14?" "!" " 14?" "!" " 14?" "!" "JESUS." "NO, I SWEAR I HAD NO IDEA, BABY." "I MEAN, LOOK AT HER." "I MEAN, SHE'S JAILBAIT." "WHAT--WHAT'S THAT?" "DAN, STAY OUT OF IT, OKAY?" "YOU'RE JUST CAUSING MORE PROBLEMS THAN YOU'RE SOLVING." "THE ONLY THING IS THE COCKTAIL NAPKIN YOU'RE WEARING." "YOU GOT IT." "THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT." "YOU'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT ANYTHING." "DAN!" "HEY!" "ALL RIGHT, ALL YOU OUT BEFORE I CALL THE COPS." "ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT." "HEY, SERENA." "SEE?" "I TOLD YOU EVERYTHING WAS OKAY." "LET'S GO, COME ON." "ERIC, COME ON." "SPOTTED" "BIG BROTHER TO THE NOT-QUITE RESCUE." "TOO BAD NO ONE TOLD HIM YOU CAN'T SAVE A DAMSEL IF SHE LOVES HER DISTRESS." "WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE SAUCE?" "MM, OH, NOTHING, I'M JUST SO HAPPY TO HAVE A HOME-COOKED MEAL." " IT JUST NEEDS A LITTLE SALT." " WHAT?" "IT'S PERFECT." "NO, JUST A--JUST A PINCH." "YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED A BIT." "YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE IN CONTROL." "WELL, I DON'T REMEMBER YOU COMPLAINING." "WELL, I WASN'T ALLOWED TO." "IT WAS ONE OF YOUR RULES." "YEAH, WELL, I MAY HOLD THE REINS A LITTLE TIGHT," "BUT LIFE IS COMPLICATED, ESPECIALLY ONCE YOU HAVE KIDS." "YOU KNOW, WHEN THEY'RE LITTLE, YOU'RE THEIR WHOLE WORLD." "AND THEN ONE DAY, THE WALL GOES UP," "AND YOU'RE ON ONE SIDE, AND THEY'RE ON THE OTHER." "WELL, THEY DON'T LIKE TO ADMIT IT," " BUT THEY WANT US TO BREAK THROUGH." " YEAH, WELL, MAYBE SERENA," "BUT ERIC" " I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE WANTS." "YOU'RE OFF CONCERNING ABOUT A 14-YEAR-OLD BOY BREAKING CURFEW." "WELL, IT'S NOT MY CURFEW HE'S BREAKING." "HE'S BEEN STAYING AT THE OSTROFF CENTER." " OSTROFF CENTER?" " MM-HMM." "YEAH." "IS IT DRUGS?" "DRINKING?" "UM, NO, HE'S NOT A BAD KID." "HE'S JUST--JUST, UM," "A LONELY ONE." "IT'S DEPRESSION?" "IS IT BAD?" "BAD ENOUGH TO TRY TO KILL HIMSELF." "I'M SORRY." "NO, I DON'T KNOW WHY." "I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID OR I DIDN'T DO, BUT..." "I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO TO" "TO MAKE SURE IT DOESN'T HAPPEN AGAIN." "ALL YOU CAN DO IS BE THERE FOR THEM." "OH, I HOPE THAT'S DAN OR SERENA." "HELLO?" "HEY, GREAT." "UH, YEAH." "ACTUALLY, I CAN TELL HER." "HIS MOTHER'S HERE WITH ME." "IT'S A LONG STORY." "SOUNDS GOOD." "TAKE CARE." "SO HE'S WITH DAN AND SERENA," "AND EVERYONE'S FINE." "ALL RIGHT, I SHOULD GO MEET THEM." "I'LL WRAP THIS UP." "NO." "YOU KNOW WHAT?" "THIS ISN'T GONNA TRAVEL WELL." "WHY DON'T I JUST STAY HERE AND I CAN EAT IT QUICKLY?" "IT WOULD BE A SHAME TO LET IT GO TO WASTE." "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" "HE WAS BORED." "HE WANTED TO GET OUT AND HAVE SOME FUN." "SO YOU TOOK HIM TO A BAR?" "HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG." "I THOUGHT YOU'D BE HAPPY." "WELL, I'M NOT, OKAY?" "I-I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU DID THIS." "HEY, I WASN'T KIDNAPPED, SERENA." "I LEFT OF MY OWN FREE WILL." "BLAIR WAS TRYING TO DO ME A FAVOR." "TOLD YOU." "WELL, IT'S NO FAVOR, ERIC." "YOU'RE IN A LOT OF TROUBLE." "YEAH, I KNOW," "AND YOU KNOW WHAT?" "IT WAS WORTH IT..." "TO BE OUT AFTER DARK" "AND TO TALK TO SOMEONE WHO ISN'T JUST YOU OR MOM," "EVEN IF IT IS BLAIR." "NO OFFENSE." "NONE TAKEN." "WELL, I'M SORRY THIS WAS THE ONLY WAY." "WE'LL WORK ON MOM, OKAY?" "THANKS." "AND SINCE SHE KNOWS YOU'RE OKAY," "I GUESS THERE'S NO REAL REASON TO RUSH." "HOW ABOUT WE WALK?" "OH, CALL ME." "YEAH, I WILL." "I WAS TALKING TO ERIC." "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" "THIS IS NOT WHO YOU ARE." "AND WHO ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?" "DAD?" "UH, WE ARE NOT DOING THIS RIGHT NOW." "WE CAN DO THIS AT HOME." "LET'S GO." "EXCEPT I'M NOT GOING HOME." "I'M GOING WITH MY FRIENDS." "COMING, JENNY?" "YEAH." "ONE SECOND." "LOOK, ALL RIGHT, I'M SORRY THAT THINGS GOT OUT OF HAND TONIGHT." "TO SAY THE LEAST." "I KNOW WHO BLAIR AND THOSE GIRLS ARE," "BUT I KNOW WHO I AM," "AND I'M NOT GONNA FORGET THAT JUST 'CAUSE I HANG OUT WITH THEM." "COME ON!" "WE'RE LEAVING!" "I'M COMING!" "JUST LET ME GO." "PLEASE?" "I MEAN, LOOK, I'LL BE TUCKED IN BED IN A HALF-HOUR." "I PROMISE." "UH, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT." "YEAH, GO AHEAD." "THANK YOU." "HEY." "I, UH, I GOTTA TAKE HIM BACK TO THE CENTER." "SO WE SHOULD PROBABLY JUST CALL IT A NIGHT." "WHAT?" "NO, NO, NO, NO, NO." "I'LL GO WITH YOU." "NO, IT'S OKAY." "YOU DON'T HAVE TO." "I WANT TO." "COME ON." "LET'S GO." "THIS JUST IN--"TRUTH OR DARE" HAS GONE INTO OVERTIME." "LOOKS LIKE NO ONE TOLD LITTLE J." "THAT YOU DON'T BEAT A WALDORF AT HER OWN GAME." "YOU WANT ME TO STEAL THE JACKET FROM THE MANNEQUIN?" "THAT'S RIGHT." "BLAIR, IT'S YOUR MOM'S STORE." "I MEAN, YOU COULD HAVE ANYTHING YOU WANT." "SO CAN YOU..." "UNLESS YOU DON'T WANT TO," "WHICH IS TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE," "AND I WOULDN'T JUDGE YOU FOR THAT." "I DON'T GET IT." "THEN YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT." "IT'S JUST A SHAME, 'CAUSE YOU'VE COME SO FAR." "THE JACKET?" "JUST THE JACKET." "OH, GOD." "FIVE, FOUR, THREE," "TWO, ONE." "OKAY, COME ON, RUN." "GUYS!" "COME BACK!" "LET ME OUT!" "ARE YOU STILL THE SAME GUY YOU WERE WHEN I TOOK THIS PHOTO?" "WHAT?" "YOU TOOK THAT PHOTO?" "YOU WEREN'T EVEN AT THAT SHOW." "OH, EXCUSE ME." "IF I REMEMBER, THE FIRST SONG WAS ABOUT ME," "THE SECOND ONE WAS ABOUT ..." "YOUR MOTORCYCLE" "AND THEN THERE WAS THE ONE ABOUT THAT SURF TOWN." "WHAT WAS IT?" "SAYULITA." "FISHERMEN'S TOWN." "WAS THAT THE ONE WITH THE VILLA WHERE WE..." "YES, INDEED, IT WAS." "GOD, I MUST HAVE TAKEN EIGHT ROLLS OF FILM THAT NIGHT." "WH--WHY DID YOU GIVE UP PHOTOGRAPHY ANYWAY?" "YOU LOVED IT SO MUCH." "WELL, I GUESS I FIGURED, UM," "SOCIAL CLIMBING WOULD BE MORE FULFILLING." "I EVEN REMEMBER THE BLACK DRESS I WORE THAT NIGHT." " REALLY?" " YEAH." "YOU KNOW, I THINK IT MAY HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN BLUE." "I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T REMEMBER ME BEING THERE." "UH, CAN YOU GRAB THAT, LIL?" "AND IF IT'S MY SON" "BE NICE TO HIM." "HELLO, HUMPHREY RESIDENCE." "HI, ALISON." "YEAH, IT'S, UM, LILY." "YEAH." "H-HOLD ON." "JUST..." "ALISON?" "LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE GONNA HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO." "TRUST ME, I DON'T OWE ALISON ANY EXPLANATION RIGHT NOW." "YOU KNOW WHAT?" "I'VE OVERSTAYED MY WELCOME." "OKAY." "I HOPE EVERYTHING TURNS OUT ALL RIGHT." "YEAH, ME, TOO." "THANKS FOR BABYSITTING ME," "AND THANK YOU FOR BEING SUCH A GOOD FRIEND." "YEAH." "IT WAS ALMOST FUN." "GOOD NIGHT, RUFUS." "I'M GONNA NEED YOU TO SHOW ME SOME FORM OF IDENTIFICATION, MISS." "I'M ONLY 14." "I DON'T HAVE ANY." "WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT AT THIS HOUR?" " I, UM..." " WHAT'S YOUR NAME?" "MY NAME IS BLAIR WALDORF." "THIS IS MY MOTHER'S SHOP." "HER NAME IS ELEANOR." "I LEFT MY JACKET HERE EARLIER," "I MEAN--WHICH IRRITATES MY MOTHER TO NO END." "AND I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THE ALARM." "ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S YOUR HOME PHONE NUMBER SO WE CAN CALL HER?" "OH, SHE'S NOT HOME." "I MEAN, SHE'S IN PARIS UNTIL THURSDAY." "IT'S SIX HOURS AHEAD IF YOU WANT TO CALL." "SHE'S GONNA BE SO ANGRY." "WELL, LOOK, WE CAN'T JUST LET YOU GO WITHOUT CONFIRMING YOUR STORY." "I HAVE MY OWN SET OF KEYS." "YOU CAN WATCH ME LOCK UP." "WELL, I CAN SEE WHY YOUR BROTHER WOULD WANT TO LEAVE." "THAT PLACE IS, UH, IS VERY DEPRESSING." "AND YET, IT'S DESIGNED TO TREAT DEPRESSION." "HE'S A GOOD KID--ERIC." "HE IS." "YEAH." "JENNY'S NOT SO BAD EITHER." "YEAH?" " YEAH." " YEAH, I-I-I KNOW." "I KNOW." "I JUST WORRY ABOUT HER SOMETIMES." "WELL, WORRY LOOKS CUTE ON YOU." "LOOK, I'VE SEEN JENNY IN ACTION," "AND MY HUNCH IS" "SHE DOESN'T LET HERSELF GET PUSHED IN ANYTHING SHE DOESN'T WANT TO DO." "NO, I-I KNOW." "I KNOW." "IT'S JUST..." "SHE'S NEVER MENTIONED THAT HER IDEA OF A GREAT FRIDAY NIGHT" "CONSISTS OF PAINTING HER FACE FULL OF MAKEUP," "AND STUMBLING OUT TO A HIP BAR IN HIGH HEELS" "AND HANGING OUT WITH A BUNCH OF DRUNK WALL STREETERS" "WHO DON'T EVEN CARE IF SHE HAS A NAME." "WELL, MAYBE THAT WASN'T HER IDEA FOR A GREAT FRIDAY NIGHT." "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" "IT'S OKAY FOR HER TO WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH THE PEOPLE SHE GOES TO SCHOOL WITH." "WHY?" "I'M NOT." "AND IF YOU MADE HALF THE EFFORT SHE DID," "MAYBE WE WOULD'VE MET A LONG TIME AGO." "THAT'S TRUE." "THEN SO MAYBE YOU WOULD'VE KISSED ME ALREADY." "NO FIVE-STAR RESTAURANTS." "NO TOWN CAR." "NO SMOKY POOL HALL OR BAD '80s MUSIC." "LOOKS LIKE WE FINALLY FOUND COMMON GROUND." "HEY, MOM." "SORRY ABOUT TONIGHT." "NO, WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT IN THE MORNING," "AFTER YOU'VE HAD A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP IN YOUR OWN BED." "I'M GOING HOME?" "I'M NOT SURE EXACTLY HOW THIS IS GONNA WORK, YOU KNOW." "HEY, I'M NOT WORRIED." "IT'S A GOOD THING I DIDN'T UNPACK." "CATCH." "JENNY?" "LOOKS LIKE YOU CAME TO PLAY AFTER ALL." "YOU KNOW WHICH TRUNDLE BED IS YOURS." "SLEEP TIGHT." "YOU'VE EARNED IT." "ACTUALLY, I'M GOING HOME," "BUT, UH," "THANKS FOR INVITING ME." "IT WAS A BLAST." "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE GOING HOME?" "NOBODY EVER LEAVES A SLEEPOVER." "WELL, I GUESS THERE'S FIRSTS FOR EVERYTHING." "OH, AND I'M KEEPING THE JACKET," "IF THAT'S OKAY WITH YOU." "MONDAY?" "LUNCH ON THE STEPS?" "DONE AND DONE." "WORD IS JENNY HUMPHREY KILLED AT BLAIR WALDORF'S SLEEPOVER." "IT WAS A DEBUT THE LIKES OF WHICH HAVEN'T BEEN SEEN SINCE BLAIR HERSELF." "IF BLAIR'S GOTTA WATCH HER BACK," "SERENA'S NEEDS TO KEEP AN EYE ON HER HEART." "WE HEAR IT MAY HAVE BEEN STOLEN BY LONELY BOY." "PUTTING OUT AN A.P.B," "GOSSIP GIRL."