"I used to think I was in control of everything." "And now?" "now I think life happens, and it's our job to just..." "To try to keep up, to try to ride it out, to try to survive." "You've had a lot of disappointment lately." "yeah." "Yes, I have." "I think it's a bit excessive for us to move all your stuff back here just to prove to some social worker that I don't live with you." "Okay, fine." "Let's stay at your place." "I'm sure the social worker would understand that we're in a committed, loving relationship, but that you refuse to acknowledge the kid I'm trying to adopt." "I mean, I don't get it, but I'm sure she's more evolved than I am." "I don't want to fight anymore." "We're not fighting." "We're... disagreeing." "I'm gonna get some more boxes." "Hey." "Hi, sweet boy." "How are you?" "I thought, um..." "Hi." "You weren't coming till after work." "Uh, yeah, but Lucas got invited to this, um, puppy party on Saturday, and I wanted to rsvp, and I couldn't find the invitation." "You left it on the refrigerator." "I already rsvp'd." "Oh, thanks." "Hey, Violet, uh, I want to..." "say something, and I-I need you to know that I'm not trying to pick a fight." "Okay." "We really need to stick to our plan." "Which means?" "That if you have a problem with an invitation, you call me up, and we deal with it, but it's my time with Lucas, and you can't just, you know, show up here." "To my own house?" "To spend five minutes with my son before work?" "We made a deal and" " I know, I know, but..." "Does it seem like it's working, moving back and forth between the house and the hotel?" "I mean, don't--don't you feel unsettled all the time?" "I do, but we agreed that we would try to make this transition as seamless as possible for Lucas, so-- I know, I know, but if it's driving us crazy, he's gonna sense it." "Okay, what do you suggest?" "Well, I think a better idea would be for me to move back in here full-time and for you to find a place nearby." "Well, it's your house." "Well, just think about it." "Okay?" "All right." "Mommy loves you." "I'll see you tonight, okay?" "Okay, bud." "What's that?" "That's coffee." "What's that?" "Oh, that's a peach." "Kendra and I have been together for six years." "We're ready, really ready, to have children of our own." "And, Evan, I'm guessing we'll be using your sperm?" "It's the neighborly thing to do." "So, uh, which one of you is going to carry the baby?" "I will." "And we'll use my egg." "That way we can both be a part of the experience." "Okay." "Well, I'll need to examine you both." "And, uh, I also think it's a good idea if the three of you sit down with one of our therapists." "Why?" "Well, Evan isn't just an anonymous sperm donor." "He's obviously a part of your lives, and presumably will continue to be, right?" "But isn't that better?" "It's not about better or worse." "It's about a situation that has some potential complications." "The three of you are all going to be involved in the pregnancy and to some extent, the child rearing." "I just want you to go into this knowing what the stress points are going to be in an arrangement like this." "We appreciate that, Dr. Reilly." "We do-- we can handle anything." "Whatever happens, we'll work it out." "And a therapist will give you a running start." "Dr. Reilly-- guys, I'm not trying to make you jump through hoops here." "I really think this will help you as parents." "I'm also not asking." "Cleaning supplies secured under the sink?" "Yes, all of the cabinets in the house are secure." "You know where the fire detector is?" "Yep, right there above the bed." "Okay, you'll need to test that monthly." "Change the batteries once a year." "I have a reminder set in my calendar." "Also, I have made sure to, uh, secure all of the balcony doors with child-proof locks." "Good." "Good." "How do you plan on dealing with the drowning hazard the ocean presents?" "Oh, uh..." "I can't imagine ever letting that baby out of my arms, but, uh, if I do, I will not let her or him go outside." "I mean, the sun is not our friend." "I don't know if you know how many, uh, cases of skin cancer are reported each year, but..." "Well, the sun is a bit beyond my purview." "That was a joke, right?" "What?" "Is there a man living here you neglected to tell me about?" "Captioned by closed captioning services, inc." "You sure you don't want me to carry it?" "I got it." "Okay." "Ooh!" "What are these again?" "I seriously can't believe you've never heard of tinkertoys." "I spent, like, half my childhood building forts and castles to play in." "You're gonna love it." "Oh, can we get these, too?" "Why do you want to play with cards?" "We could build stuff." "Please, dad." "Maybe next time, okay?" "I'll meet you outside, dad." "Can you add a pack of cards to that, too, please?" "So, Evan, how do you see your role in this baby's life?" "Donate the sperm, build the crib, and then I just kind of want to be the fun uncle-- water fights and movie nights, no diapers." "Which is great, because I'll be home with the baby." "Rosie works, so..." "And those roles are great for now, but as a baby grows, things do change." "Problems come up, arguments happen, and if Evan disagrees with any of your parenting choices, he would, as the biological father, have legal standing unless you specify otherwise now." "Like in a contract?" "Yeah." "Well, in most situations, a contract is not a bad idea." "What would it say, that I don't have any right to be involved with the baby?" "It can say whatever you want." "It's just a formality." "But that feels so..." "Business-like and this is not a business decision." "No, but if it's what people normally do-- we're having a baby, rose, not closing a deal." "Yeah, I agree with kendra." "It feels impersonal." "R-rose, is there something you would like to say to Evan?" "No, not right now." "Come on, rose." "We'll talk about it later." " Rosie..." " Guys, I'm a therapist." "There's very little that I haven't seen or heard." "And this is not a place of judgment." "But getting what you want has to start with the truth." "So..." "We're in love." "Okay." "We're..." "All in love." "Whatcha doin'?" "Oh, I'm just trying to maximize my ten minutes between patients." "I got kinda jammed up today." "Feel like taking a break at lunch for pizza and pins?" "Greasy slices, slippery bowling balls, my treat." "Well, that sounds like fun, but I don't know if my digestive track could handle it, plus, uh..." "I hate putting on shoes that a hundred other people have worn before me, you know-- oh, come on." "It'll be fun." "I'll even buy the pepto and purell." "Thanks, but, uh..." "Maybe some other time." "Hey." "I was just looking for you." "And now you found me." "You busy today?" "I'm pretty much caught up on my charts." "A couple of patients are coming in-- are you ready to cut again?" "A patient with an obstructive neurosarcoid was scheduled for this afternoon, but buddle's coming off an all-nighter, and I need someone." "Well, I thought I might assist a few before I-- either you're ready to come back to the hospital and work or you're not." "I'm ready." "I'm definitely ready." "Good." "We know it sounds crazy." "I understand being in love." "I'm not judging." "You are." "Everyone judges us." "But we appreciate how hard you're trying not to." "Okay." "Well, tell me about yourselves." "The first night was..." "It was amazing." "The first night usually is." "But so was the next morning." "And every morning after that." "Most mornings." "It--it sounds very easy." "It's not." "We have rules." "Every decision has to be unanimous." "We have to avoid the two against one so no one feels ganged up on." "Okay." "Y-you are talking about things that are in the context of the relationship." "But there is a world out there, the world that you would be raising your child in." "And that world is not quite as accepting about things that don't appear-- normal?" "I come from a home where there wasn't a lot of love." "There was a lot of..." "Commitment-- 35 years of marriage-- and a lot of what people call normal, but not much love." "Kendra and rose and me..." "There's a lot of love here." "A-a what?" "A polyamorous triad." "Three people in a committed, monogamous relationship." "I can barely keep up with one partner." "I can't imagine trying to satisfy two." "There's no way that works." "Every couple, or triad, is different." "You know, you can't generalize." "It doesn't matter what they are." "They lied to me." "Well, because their lifestyle's unconventional, they're probably used to being criticized and mocked" "For good reason." "I mean, hey, can we just pause the moral and ethical debate and criticize and mock them for a minute?" "It's just weird." "It's weird." "Four boobs, two geegers..." "It's not weird." "It's fantastic." "Wow." "Yeah, you know what?" "You just brought it to a whole other level." "Yep." "Life is already so difficult." "Why make it harder?" "Yeah, but that's the same argument that said that interracial and same-sex couples shouldn't have children." "Hey, I was ready to help out an honest lesbian couple." "So wait." "Is it the dishonesty or the polyamory that you take issue with?" "The lying." "Okay, well, separate that out." "These people are in a tough spot." "Society is not ready for them." "Oh, are we still talking about this?" "Sam is right." "It is just plain weird." "Thank you, baby." "Addison Montgomery." "Really?" "Is she..." "Uh, yes, yes, I do." "A-absolutely, I do." "Thank you very much." "Good-bye." "Uh..." "That was my lawyer, and despite the fact that I misled and slightly fibbed to the social worker, she signed off, and a birth mother wants to meet me." " Wow." " You know what?" "In a lot of places, a single white woman living with a single black man who also happens to be" " the ex-husband of her best friend..." " Oh, my..." "Oh, wow." "Trying to adopt a child out of wedlock without the interest of her boyfriend..." "Come on." "Would seem just plain weird." "Okay, fine." "I take back the weird." "The triad has all my support." "In less than a month, I could be a mother." "Hey, you feelin' okay?" "Yes." "You sure?" "You want to talk?" "I'm a little nervous about meeting the birth mother, you know?" "So, yes, I would like to talk about it, but I'm..." "Pretty sure you don't." "Not about that." "Well..." "Good luck." "You're great." "And you're gonna do great." "How are you at..." "Forgiving?" "I mean, in your personal life." "I know we preach it, but..." "can you do it?" "Sometimes." "When?" "Wh-when the relationship is worth saving." "We talking about Amelia?" "No." "We're--we're just talking about forgiveness." "Oh." "Okay." "Well, uh, I guess it would depend on what the offense is." "She crushed me." "Yeah." "And when she was in crisis, when she was in rehab, it was easy for me to put aside my own hurt feelings and my own reactions, you know?" "It was easy just to want to save her." "But now, I, uh..." "I don't want to make it harder for her." "Well, just give her time." "Is that what you're doing with Pete?" "Yes." "Is it working?" "No." "Dr. Shepherd, it's good to see you." "We heard you were on vacation." "Did you go somewhere amazing?" "This isn't a tea party." "You all have a surgery to do." "Dr. Shepherd needs to concentrate." "You all do." "Less talk." "More focus." "Scalpel." "I have one more semester, then law school." "Yes, please." "Ooh." "Do you think I'm an awful person for giving my baby up?" "Of course not." "I-- oh, please don't humor me." "Please just think about the question." "Because I'm 20." "I'm not a teenager, and I have the resources, you know?" "You know, this isn't necessity." "I'm not giving her up out of necessity." "I'm giving her up because..." "I don't want to be a mom at 20." "And I don't want to give her to anyone who thinks I'm an awful person." "I had an abortion when I was in my 30s." "I was already a surgeon." "My career was in place." "And, uh..." "I certainly had the resources, but..." "I wasn't ready." "So..." "I'm not judging you." "Oh, God." "And now I really hope that you're not judging me." "I'm sorry." "I probably shouldn't have told you that." "Oh, no, no, no." "It's not--I mean, I-I don't want you to think that I-I" "I'm not judging you, Dr. Montgomery." "Wow." "That's just..." "I've..." "never met anyone who just admitted to an abortion like that." "It's just that no one ever talks about that stuff." "Certainly not when they're trying to impress someone." "Oh, not ever." "I mean..." "We all just pretend like that stuff doesn't exist." "You're sort of amazing." "So..." "Have you met with any other potential parents?" "Well, there's this family at my church that my mom had me meet." "And they were nice..." "But kind of boring." "You know, the dad works, the mom stays home." "They already have a little boy." "Mm." "You're a fetal surgeon?" "Yes, that's right." "That's pretty awesome." "Thank you." "Real estate listings?" "Yeah." "Violet thinks I should find my own place." "Wow." "I'm sorry." "How do you feel about that?" "I don't know." "I don't want to be a part-time parent to Lucas-- not being with him every day, missing..." "Wake up, bedtime, bath time, I..." "And even if I do get a place that's close by, it still won't be his house, you know?" "Mm-hmm." "Maya used to call my place..." ""Her weekend getaway."" "Ugh." "It's tough." "You miss a lot." "Kids kill you." "One way or another." "You and Addison?" "Ugh." "We're not even pretending anymore." "It's like, uh, I don't know, one of us just has to say the words, make official what we..." "Both already know." "Yeah, well, before you say the words, just..." "Be sure." "In a few months, I could have a son on that screen." " Or a daughter." " Healthy baby." "Gender irrelevant." "Come on, guys." "Rose is right." "Okay, kendra, I'm all done." "Rose, you want to hop up here?" "What?" "No, nothing." "It--it's sweet, the way you all get along so well." "Seems like it would be tricky." "He wants to know about the sex." "No." " It's okay." " Everyone does." "We have one bed-- California king." "That's enough, kendra." "Dr. Montgomery, what is it?" "I just don't understand why he would do this?" "Because he's 8." "Because he wanted the cards." "Because he's testing you." "I don't know." "Cooper, if a parent comes in and tells you that their kid stole something, what do you say?" "I would ask if there had been any other troubling behavior recently." "Has there been with Mason?" "No, but-- then what else do you ask 'em?" "If there had been any problems at home that the kid could be reacting to." "That the case with Mason?" "I don't think so, no." "So then what?" "A kid with no big problems swipes something from a toy store, out of the blue." "What do you tell the parents to do?" "It's just..." "I've never done this before..." "Not with my own kid." "It's different." "So, rose, I'm afraid that, uh..." "You have a scarred uterus and ovarian failure secondary to pelvic t.B." "Tuberculosis?" "I'm not sick." "No, you're not." "It's, uh... it's not active." "But if you've spent any time at all in South America in the last ten years" " She taught e.S.L." " In Chile after college." "What are you saying?" "Unfortunately, rose's body is incapable of producing viable eggs or carrying a fetus." "I am so sorry, Rosie." "But, um, we can still have a family, right?" "Yes, in fact, kendra's tests all came back perfectly normal." "So if Evan and--and kendra were to try to conceive, they might not even need I.V.F." "What?" "What about me?" "Rosie, you'd be the mom, too." "This would be our child." "No, this would be your child with Evan." "It's not the same." "Well, I-in my experience, once the baby shows up-- no, the whole point of this was to have a baby together so that we could all be a part of the experience." "Dr. Reilly is right." "If the three of you really want a baby, no matter where it comes from-- if I can't be a part of this, we're not doing it." "Rose, you yourself said, the three of you could handle anything." "We are handling it." "We're just..." "We're just not having a baby." "I'm saying that, in a two-party relationship, both parties have to agree in order to have the baby." "Well, the same rules apply in the triad." "All decisions are supposed to be unanimous." "Well, this one clearly isn't." "And it's not like one of them can leave." "I mean, they say they're a family, right?" "Well, families don't always stay together." "Look, the--the truth is that kendra and rose and Evan are not that different from us." "They want to stay together, they want to work it out, and this is just an obstacle." "Well, for most couples, having or not having a baby, it's not an obstacle, it's a deal breaker." "That's because having a baby is not rational." "Sam." "What?" "I'm not saying it's irrational." "I'm just saying, it's instinctive." "You know, it's hormonal." "It's biological." "But wanting one--you either do or you don't." "Look, you gave them a piece of devastating news." "They need time to process it." "Hopefully, their relationship is strong enough to overcome it." "I heard your surgery yesterday went well." "Like riding a bike." "A rusty, dinged-up bike that coulda used a little more air in the tires, but still..." "I know you feel like you're the first person to go through all this, but you're doing great." "Mm." "It does not feel great." "I know." "Just make your meetings, pray to whatever you believe in, do the next indicated thing." "A day at a time." "A minute at a time." "♪ and monuments ♪" "♪ and arboretums ♪" "♪ when we lived in D.C. ♪" "He's moving out?" "Yeah, I guess so." "And what about Lucas?" "I mean, what, is he gonna live with Pete half the time or what?" "I don't know." "I don't know anything." "Well, nobody knows anything." "We just pretend to." "Yeah, but I used to be really good at pretending." "Aw." "Hey, how'd it go with the birth mother?" "Ugh." "I had diarrhea of the mouth." "Oh, no." "But I think she was okay with it, actually." "I mean, she's really lovely, you know?" "She's smart..." "She's driven, she's... in labor." "What?" "Oh, my God." "She's in labor." "Addison." "Yeah." "Did she choose you?" "I don't know." "I mean, but she had somebody page me." "That's a good sign, right?" "It's a great sign." "Go!" "Oh, my God!" "Yeah, I should probably just bite the bullet and buy something instead of getting some dinky apartment that Lucas hates." "I should get something with a yard, room for all his stuff." "Yeah, probably better for you." "If this is gonna be permanent, better start getting used to it." "I know." "Well, sometimes Violet has a way of framing things." "Addison's the same way." "Women." "It makes you feel almost bad for triad guy, you know?" "He's got two of 'em." "♪ we'll begin ♪" "I mean almost bad." "It can't be worth it-- twice the frustration." "You know what I do to alleviate frustration?" "Frusturbation?" "Are you 12?" "Yes." "Gun range." "Oh, my God." "Here we go." "A gun range?" "I'm a deadeye, Sheldon." "I could teach ya." "I prefer to talk things through." "How's that working out for you?" "I haven't shot a gun since basic training." "So, uh..." "I'm in." "You guys want to join?" "No, I spent too many years patching up people on the wrong end of guns." "No, thank you." "Sam?" "Never picked up a gun." "Don't plan on doing it now." "Cooper?" "I prefer frusturbation." "♪ day of rest ♪" "That's great." "I need another big push." "Hey." "Hi." "Oh, my mom is not here." "She's--she's out of town." "I'm glad you called me." "The baby's... early." "Not too early." "It's fine." "It hurts." "It always hurts." "How's she doing?" "The baby's o.P." "What does that mean?" "It means the baby's coming out face up." "It just means it's harder for you to push her out." "Okay." "Okay?" "I'm seeing late decels." "Not progressing." "I'm gonna try to use vacuum assist." "I-I-I don't understand." "I don't und-- the baby just needs a little bit of help, all right?" "We're gonna need you to push, Melanie, okay?" "Mm-hmm." "It isn't working." "She needs to go to the O.R." "The baby's bradycardic." "There's no time." "I've got this." "Remove the vacuum, doctor." "What are you doing?" "I'm delivering the baby." "You're done here." "♪" "I need kielland forceps." "It's too risky." "The baby's already been down for two minutes." "I can have her in the O.R. and open in three minutes." "Yeah, I can have her out before you're even in the scrub room." "I'm not risking brain damage because you've only been delivering babies for three months." "Do you know the complications from using rotational forceps?" "I do know the complications." "I'd be worried if you were using them." "Okay, Melanie, I'm gonna have to turn the baby's head around so that you can push her out, okay?" "It's gonna hurt when I put the forceps in." "Okay." "Aah!" "Good." "All right." "That's good." "I'm gonna need you to push on the next contraction." "Okay." "Okay?" "Ready?" "Oh." "Look at me." "Push." "Good." "Good." "There's the head." "Aah!" "You got this, Melanie." "She's coming." "Good." "Here she is." "She's perfect, Melanie." "She's perfect." "Ohh." "Hey." "Hey." "Okay, you're a dad." "Among other things." "Yeah, I don't care about the other things right now." "Mason..." "Stole a pack of cards from the toy store." "Okay." "You do see I'm working here?" "Oh, come on, Sam." "This is really important to me." "Okay." "So, uh..." "I don't know." "Punish him and move on." "No, I don't--I don't think it's that simple." "I think..." "I think maybe I should stay the good guy." "I mean, I think I should specifically be the parent that doesn't punish him." "No, hold--think about it." "Erica's been there from the beginning." "She already does the discipline." "He expects it." "Okay." "If I could be the person that Mason could come to no matter how badly he screws up, he could say what happened, I could help him fix it..." "I mean, imagine having that when you were growing up." "How great would that have been?" "Amazing." "Right?" "Yeah." "You c--you could totally be that guy, Coop." "Or, uh, you could be Mason's dad." "I mean, being a parent, like, a real parent, day in, day out, trying to make sure your kid turns out okay, it's hard, man." "You gotta say "no" a lot." "You gotta hear "I hate you."" "You gotta give up fun times to--to reinforce values that you think are important." "It's..." "It is the hardest thing in the world." "So..." "I don't know, man." "It's up to you." " I get that she's upset, but this is..." " It's wrong." "She just found out that she can't be a mom biologically." "I mean, that's gonna take some time." "I'm sure part of it is rose's concern about the baby." "But don't you think she's also concerned about what this might do to the three of you?" "In what sense?" "Well, that the two of you might share a bond that she's not, that she can't be, a part of." "No, that would never happen." "Ever." "It's happening right now." "You two are here without her." "But we're trying to fix it." "I mean, we want..." "To fix it." "Okay." "Are you willing to compromise?" "If there was some way we could reassure rose, make her understand that we're doing this for the three of us." "You're the one who told me, this relationship works because of the rules." "All decisions have to be unanimous." "No, Amelia started it." "She came on to me." "Aim for the target, Sheldon." "And then just when I started feeling something..." "Enter Ryan." "Remember to use your left hand to steady your right." "And I feel sorry for her." "I mean, she loved him, and he died." "And I know she feels bad about humiliating me." "I-I..." "I don't know." "I..." "Why can't I forgive her?" "Pull the trigger, Sheldon." "♪ ..." "Love me ♪" "♪ 'cause I'm-a gonna love you, too ♪" "I haven't shot a gun in years." "Holy hell, that felt good." "Yep." "Shoot the target, let it all out there, 'cause I can pretty well promise you," "Amelia's in no shape to take care of a single one of your feelings right now." "I know you love her, Sheldon." "Love her enough to leave her alone." "Take aim." "♪ miss me ♪" "♪ you're gonna say you'll kiss me ♪" "♪ you're gonna say you'll love me ♪" "♪ 'cause I'm-a gonna love you, too ♪" "♪ you're gonna say you'll love me ♪" "♪ 'cause I'm-a gonna love you, too ♪" "♪ I'm-a gonna love you, too ♪" "♪ I'm-a gonna love you, too ♪" "Hey." "Morning." "What happened to your hand?" "Ah, I strained it at the shooting range." "The shooting range, really?" "It might be my new hobby." "That..." "Sounds kind of fun." "Could I..." "Could I go sometime?" "Uh, no." "I mean, just, uh..." "Not any time really soon." "You understand?" "I understand." " There's nothing that can be done to..." " Fix me?" "Rose, you-- you aren't broken." "I know it feels that way, but..." "there are so many women who have come to me, unable to conceive, and... yet we still find a way to make them mothers." "Are you a father?" "Yes, I am, not biologically, but regardless, the love I feel" "I don't want to lose them." "What if a baby changes everything?" "If the love is real, it can withstand anything." "Do you really believe that?" "No." "No, I..." "I think love is a powerful force." "It puts up a hell of a fight, but, uh..." "Sometimes life rises up and wins." "That's what I'm afraid of..." "That me being infertile..." "That's gonna be life winning." "So do you think you can finish early so we can go to the pier?" "Uh, we're not going to the pier today." "Really?" "Really." "I need to talk to you, so..." "I saw you steal that pack of cards from the toy store." "But I d-- don't even start to tell me that you didn't, because..." "I saw you." "I want to call my mom." "Just sit down and you're gonna listen to me, okay?" "Says who?" "Says me." "I'm your father." "No." "You're just the guy who got my mom pregnant." "Okay, here's what happens next-- tomorrow after school, I'm gonna pick you up," "I'm gonna take you to the toy store, and you're gonna apologize to the owner." "I am not gonna-- you're gonna apologize to the owner." "Then I'm gonna take you home." "You're gonna go to your room and do your homework." "And you're gonna stay in there till it's time to go to bed, and it's gonna be like that for a week." "You think my mom's gonna go along with this?" "I know she will." "But... what about the weekend?" "Are we still gonna go to the movies?" "No, the movies are out." "But... am I even gonna see you?" "Of course." "I am never going away." "Okay?" "I want a baby." "Just... not this way." "But I love you guys so I guess I'll do it." "You two can make our baby, and I will just have to trust us." "Thank you, rose." "Thank you." "No." "I can't do that." "I really want a baby, too, but the reason we work is the rules." "We need rules." "We need unanimous or someone's gonna get hurt, and we can't have that happen." "So we can use a surrogate or adopt or not have a baby at all, but... given the choice, I choose you." "I choose the three of us." "This is crazy." "This isn't some little thing." "This is... not trivial." "I want a child..." "My child." "Evan..." "I love you, both of you, but..." "I'm not sure I can choose you." "Hi." "Hey." "How are you?" "Okay." "I didn't want to hold her, but then I did, and..." "Do you want to hold her?" "Yes." "Oh." "Ahh." "Oh." "Oh, hi, little girl." "Hello, baby girl." "Addison." "Yes." "Meeting you..." "Has been incredible." "Oh, thank you." "For me, too." "This is hard." "I can't even imagine." "Oh." "What?" "It's crazy." "I was so sure you were the perfect fit to mother my child." "And what you did for me and the baby..." "It was amazing." "You're amazing." "And someday, I want to be just like you." "But I've been thinking..." "You know, when you're here and you're doing amazing things for people like me..." "Who would be taking care of her?" "No, Melanie, if you're doubting what kind of mother I would be" " I--I'm not." "I'm sure you could be an incredible mother." "But I look at that baby..." "And I think about the family from my church and--and how she could just slide right into it..." "With a mom..." "And a dad..." "And a brother and..." "How you doing?" "I..." "Feel like I want to crawl out of my skin." "♪" "All day." "Every day." "Cravings?" "No, just, uh..." "Pain." "♪" "I want to turn back the clock." "I want..." "I want Ryan to be alive and I want us to get sober together and I want..." "To have never hurt the people I love." "I..." "Yeah." "I get that." "♪" "I was awful to you." "I was hateful and awful to you, Charlotte." "♪" "I..." "I don't even know why you're in here talking to me." "I was hateful and awful to a lot of people when I was using." "It's what happens." "I get it." "♪" "Sheldon hates me." "He doesn't hate you." "He loves you." "There's a difference." "Now it's subtle sometimes, but... *" "There's a difference." "♪ go ahead and roll up your web ♪" "What do I do?" "Next indicated action." "♪ the best things in life ♪" "Meeting." "♪ to come by ♪" "♪ but sometimes the best things come ♪" "♪ from accidents ♪" "Do you have a minute to look at these images?" "I think a partial ovarian..." "* when days are dark, darling *" "Addison, you okay?" "♪ remember ♪" "♪ my love for you ♪" "♪ won't go away ♪" "You want to talk about it?" "♪ I almost lost you ♪" "No." "♪ last September ♪" "♪ oh, and my heart still has yet ♪" "♪ to forgive me ♪" "♪ so is it just me?" "♪" "♪ am I seeing things?" "♪" "What are you smiling about?" "Today..." "I am..." "A father." "You did it?" "Yeah." "Well, how was it?" "Miserable." "For you or for him?" "Both." "♪ for you ♪" "More me." "I'm very proud of you, Coop." "♪ and we'd see it through ♪" "Like, reward proud?" "Something like that?" "♪" "Mm." "Oh." "♪ you have a beauty like ♪" "♪ no other ♪" "Hey." "Hey." "You--you lose your key?" "♪ a confidence ♪" "Oh, okay." "You don't want to keep it in case of emergency?" "I know where the hide-a-key is." "♪ if I... ♪" "Did you come over here just to give me these?" "♪ too long ♪" "No, I-I miss him." "And I know it's not my night, but I was wondering if I could maybe put him to bed." "Uh..." "Oh, this is hard." "Yeah." "It's one of the hardest things I've ever done, but... no." "♪ oh, oh, oh, oh ♪" "No?" "♪" "Really?" "I-I mean, look, if this is about punishing me for the other morning because I" " No." "No, no, no, it's not." "♪" "I hate these rules, Pete." "I hate living this way, but you were right." "If--if--if this is gonna work at all, then we need some boundaries, and--and Lucas needs some consistency." "This is mommy's night." "Daddy's not gonna be here." "That's what we told him." "If we go back from that, if we blur the lines-- no, you're right." "You're right." "I'm sorry." "♪ ..." "Just seeing things?" "♪" "I miss him." "♪ or does the way we breathe ♪" "We'll call." "I'll put him on the phone." "And you can see him in the morning." "Okay." "I can't lose him, Violet." "I can't..." "I can't--no matter what happens between us..." "* for you *" "No matter where this winds up, I need to know that" " I will never keep you from your son." "Pete, you will always be his father." "♪ the sun could fade ♪" "I promise you." "No matter what." "We just..." "We just need some rules..." "For him, for us." "I didn't get the baby." "I'm sorry." "Right." "I know how much this means to you." "And I'm sorry for your disappointment." "♪" "I love you." "I love you, too." "♪" "We can't do this anymore." "I know." "So this is it." "Yeah." "This is it." "♪" "I wanted a baby, and I wanted Sam, and I got no baby and no Sam." "How is that fair?" "You didn't get this baby." "That doesn't mean you get no baby." "How am I supposed to believe that?" "How am I supposed to believe in anything, ever again?" "I mean, how..." "Is love not enough?" "You have to face the loss." "You have to deal with the disappointment." "Don't want to." "Sync by Sp8ky, and corrected by honeybunny"