"I'm going to draw a dog on your cast." "I don't like it when they're all white." "I'll do the first drawing." "Mommy's in pretty bad shape." "The doctors think she may die." "Are we going home?" "No, we're going to Claire's." "Will Mathias and Delphine be there?" "Of course." "Will there be lions?" "Mathias and Delphine are your cousins, not wild animals." "But will there be lions?" "If there are, your Russian dog will protect you." "What are you doing?" "Putting my head out of the window." "No no no no..." "No." "If you went slower, I could do it." "I could go even faster, but I'm careful." "I didn't buckle you in so you see what it means to be careful." "Not like your stupid mother." "She's not stupid!" "Was I driving?" "She wasn't drunk." "She wasn't speeding." "She knew the road by heart." "What could she have been thinking with you in the car?" "It wasn't on purpose." "It's not her fault." "Did you ever break your arm with me?" "Or get hurt?" "She's not stupid." "I'm not hurt." " Are you okay up there?" " Yes." " Will you make me a promise?" " Yes." "Never die." "Swear on it and spit." "And when we get really old?" "I don't give a shit." "Spit and say: "I'll never die"." " I'll never die." " Louder." "I don't believe you." "I'll never die." "Spit!" "Mommy is dead." "You know what that means?" "Yes!" "She's flying with her magic mirror." "She's dead!" "I thought she'd be with us forever too." "I could act as stupid as I wanted." "I trusted her." "I knew you were with her." "Can I spit?" "Can I spit... so you don't... die?" "You think I'll manage to raise you alone?" "Yeah, you'll manage." "You can do it." "She was all broken." "They couldn't fix her." "They couldn't." "I'll make us feel better, okay?" "Yeah, I'd like that." "You have nothing for her?" "I don't know." " You don't know what to give her?" " No." "You can give her Yoyotte." "Not Yoyotte." "If you give her something you love, she'll know you love her." "No, I only love Yoyotte." "Yes!" "They lock her in with screws." "They put her in the cemetery?" "Yeah." "Sometimes they put them in hospitals." "to get shots." "That didn't work this time." "She's going to heaven." "It's nice there." "Your mommy will like it there." "She can't come back." "If they bury her right, she can't come back." "Jesus can take her up there." "No." "Mom, can we put our presents in the box?" "Can they put a few things inside?" "Later on, she'll be able to come out." "No one can come out." "Only zombies can." "They put a heavy cross on you to keep you in." "You stay in there like a statue." "You can keep Yoyotte." "What's in there?" "It's sand." " Sand for dead people?" " Yeah." "To put around their tombs?" "I think it's to bury them with." "I like living above ground." "I really hate skulls." "The man told me if you don't put a pillow inside, it's like she's in a tin can." "But if you put a pillow in there, your mommy will sleep for a long time." "Don't worry, your mommy has a pillow." "She'll sleep for a long, long time." "Can I go to Lyon if I come back soon?" "Yes." "I'll call you tonight and every night." "We'll talk about school, your shenanigans and all your cousins' mischief." "Okay, honey?" "Here's Yoyotte." "No!" "I didn't start the car yet." "you never usually cry until later." "until I start driving away." "If you cry, I'll be sad all the way." "I'll try again, and you'll try not to cry, okay?" "Okay." "I'm careful, I drive slowly." "Nothing can happen." "If you're scared, give me Yoyotte." "I'll give you something." "What?" "I don't know." "My watch, my favourite thing." "You give me my favourite thing." "I'll give you Teddy." "Go get Teddy, then." "Thanks, honey." "Here, put it in your pocket." "Claire will make a hole in the band." "Listen to the tic-toc." "Listen." "When you're sad, listen to it." "It's my heart beating." "Teddy will take care of you." "Yes, he'll protect me." "Give me a lovey-dovey kiss." "Come on!" "Ponette, why aren't you dressed yet?" " I'm talking to my mommy." " Why?" "I feel like it." "Mommy came to play with me." "What do you say to her?" "I ask where she lives." "She says in the sky, there are castles that are all different colours!" "My castle, my mommy's, is red with a gold roof." "That's where the two of us live." "You live here." "That's baloney!" "At night I live with my mommy." "and during the day I live here." "I like the night more." "Why are you mean to us?" "Because you're mean to me." "No, we're nice." "Not about my mommy." "You didn't play with your mother." "Ask Yoyotte." "She was there." "So Yoyotte can talk now?" "Yoyotte can talk if she wants to." "Play with Yoyotte then!" "And with your mother too!" "They say you can't talk." "and that I didn't play with mommy." "When Mathias dies, he'll stay in the box forever!" "He'll get eaten up!" "You better clean the room." "or she'll be angry, and so will I!" "If you don't, I'll throw you on the floor!" "There!" "Don't cry, I'll make you better." "Don't be scared." "It's over now." "Mommy was all broken." "Last night she wasn't." "She was fine." "You're the same." "You won't come and play?" "You're mean!" "You never want to!" "I'll only play with Yoyotte." "She's very sick." "Mommy didn't come last night." "What do you mean?" "She comes to see me at night." "She comes into your dreams." "No, she comes down at night." "But not last night." "Maybe she can't come every night." "She needs to sleep too." "Will she sleep tonight?" "I don't know." "If you want her to come, then I'm sure you will see her." "I want her to come every day." "You know what?" "I'm going to tell you a story." "A true one." "When Jesus died, they buried his body and put a heavy tombstone on his grave." "So he couldn't get out?" "We still do it, so the dead rest in peace." "But when people came to see him in the cemetery, the tombstone had moved and Jesus wasn't there anymore." "They saw two men wearing beautiful, gleaming clothes." "Who were they?" "Princes?" "No, they were angels." "The angels said Jesus was alive." "He wasn't dead anymore." "Jesus went to see his friends that day." "They were scared." "They thought he was a ghost." "Delphine said dead people become spirits." "He wasn't a spirit." "Jesus came back to life." "He was resurrected." " He got back to normal?" " Yes." "Now he's alive, in Heaven." "And mommy?" "Will she come back to life too?" "She's with Jesus." "One day, everyone will be resurrected." "Everyone will be together:" "mommy, daddy, you..." "When will that happen?" "It will happen when God wants it to happen." "Why?" "Why is mommy in Heaven and not you?" "I hope I'll be there one day too." "Why wouldn't you be?" "I will be." "I intend to." "Mommy didn't want to." "She wanted to stay with me." "She'll be back tonight." "I better hurry back to bed." "What are you doing?" "I can't tell you." "Don't tell me." "I don't care!" "Can I stay with you?" "Mommy didn't come last night." "What do you want to play?" "I don't want to play." "I'm waiting for my mother." "Dead people never come back." "Jesus did it for his friends." "I'm more than a friend." "I'm mommy's daughter." "Grandpa never came back." "Because no one was waiting for him." "You're not playing?" "I can't find Delphine." "Ponette's waiting for her mom." "It's just a game." "No, she's really waiting." "Ponette!" "Won't you play with Mathias?" "I can't." "What are you doing?" "I can't tell you." "Ponette's playing at waiting for her mom." "What game is this?" "Baby, I recognize your little legs!" "I'm dead again." "If someone says the magic word, I'll come back to life." "What's the magic word?" "It's Jesus's magic word." "Is it a real magic word?" "It's for resurrecting his friends." "If you don't believe me, ask my mom." "What's the magic word?" "It has to be whispered, or else something bad can happen." "Ta" "Li" "Ta Koom!" "Ta Li Ta Koom!" "Now that everyone's gone, you can come." "You can do it for me." "Won't you come to eat?" "I don't want to." "You have to eat a little." "Daddy would want that." "I'm not hungry." "What are you waiting for?" "Nothing." "I'm just looking around." "Will you wait for long?" "I don't know." "I thought I believed in God like a child, but you found him right away." "It's as if your mommy took you to heaven and you came back with your heart full of God's love." "Even if you scare me a little, you're a wonderful girl." "Ponette!" "I'm sorry." "What does "sorry" mean?" "It means you shouldn't wait." "She won't come." "Yes she will." "Jesus came back, but when other people die, they don't really come back." "But I can really fly!" "She hears you, sees you, and she still loves you." "But she can't come back." "I'm sure of it." "You know, flying mice can fly upside down and right-side up too." "They go like this to turn around and then... and like this with their wings." "I can fly really far." "Show me how you fly." "You can't see flying mice." "They fly too fast." "But I can see them." "I don't know how to tell you." "Flying mice..." "No, that's enough." "No more flying mice." "Maybe one day I'll be able to teach others to fly." "She won't come back, Ponette." "Let's go inside now." "I don't want to." "It's my turn to decide tonight." "It's Jesus who decides what I do." "I take care of you." "Jesus is relying on me to do that." "Let's go." "Tomorrow my mommy and I are leaving and we're never coming back." "She didn't come because you all ganged up on her, not me." "They don't want her to come back." "I do." "I love your mommy." "You never told her." "I can't tell her." "You can too." "She can hear you." "How do I do it?" "You pray." "You close your eyes." "I don't believe in that!" "You pray." "You close your eyes." "Put my hands right." "Like this?" "Close..." "No, wait." "Do like this." "Like this?" "No, one half." "Not the other." "Like this." "No, straight, like this." "Like this." "No, like this." " How?" " Like this." "I love you." "I'm not sure you can hear me, but I'm looking after Ponette for you." "That's all." "Good." "Now I'll tell you where mommy and I hide." "It'll be our secret." "Okay." "We'll wait here." "Hello little bear." "I'll take you along." "Don't make any noise." "Because..." "Jesus is in jail." "Why?" "He was put in jail by evil witches." "They better not find us!" "Hurry, let's hide!" " What are you doing?" " Nothing." " Is this your hiding place?" " Yes." "This is no hiding place." "Everyone can see you." "Anyway, mommy's still asleep." "We have to sing her a song to wake her up." "I don't know any songs." "This is dumb!" "Dead people can't wake up." "You're bothering her." "She doesn't want to see you." "She won't come!" "We can't stay here." "She doesn't like it here." "It's too close." "Mommy will be happy to see you." "But you have to be nice, or else she won't come." "If you're not nice, she won't come." "We have to find presents for her." "Are you coming?" "Mommy!" "Talita Koom!" "Talita Koom!" "Talita Koom!" "Talita Koom!" "It took me two hours to drive here, plus another two tonight." "Why are you here all alone?" "I have some presents." "Little presents." "Too bad they're not for me." "They're for mommy?" "Yeah, but for you too." "How much longer will you wait for her?" "Are you crazy or what?" "No." "Yes you are." "It may be the influence of your cousins and Claire, but you're crazy." "God doesn't talk to the living." "God's for the dead, not us." "Your mommy wasn't scared to die, so spare her all this Jesus and God stuff." "Please." "Live in a world with me and your cousins." "a world of the living." "Lying to yourself won't make the hurting stop." "You didn't have to yell at me." "I'll stop yelling if you stop acting crazy, okay?" "Okay?" "Okay." "Let's go to your room." "First door on the right." "This is the right?" "Here we are, Ponette." "tell her your name." "Luce." "She'll be staying here with Delphine?" "And Luce too." "We're going to Mathias's room." "Stay here." "Will you be my friend?" "I have to ask Yoyotte." "Who's Yoyotte?" "My doll." "I think she'd like that." "Great!" "It'll be fun!" "Like that!" "Like that!" "Very good!" "Very good!" "Guillame is just like last year." "He won't let the boys look at Carla." "I like it when boys look at me." "Are you jealous?" "The other boys are chicken." "He scares them." "He's really ugly, that boyfriend of yours." "But he's really strong." "And really ugly." "If everyone does like him, no one will look at anyone." "He doesn't want me to have another boyfriend." "I have a boyfriend at home and another one here." "Who is it?" "My cousin." "I'm like my mom." "I prefer singles." "What are singles?" "They're people who are all alone except for their kids, if they have kids." "No boyfriends?" ""Singles", that means... sometimes it means you have a boyfriend, but you're not married." "sometimes, but it's rare." "Are there ever... guys who come see your mom?" "Yeah." "Friends or boyfriends?" "No, they're not boyfriends!" "So that means..." "Your mom likes singles." "So there's a guy..." "Each time there's a guy who comes to her house, right?" "So afterwards... they're not singles if there are two of them." "No, they don't stay at the house." "But they're together!" "They just come to make her feel better." "What happened to your mom?" "Daddy and her are separated." "Really?" "Why doesn't Ponette talk?" "When she thinks about what happened, she gets sad." "I have to go to the bathroom." "I'll take you." "I'm taking her to the bathroom." "Delphine, it's bedtime!" "Ponette has to go." "She doesn't feel well." "Are you sick?" "She's too sad to answer." "I'll take care of Ponette." "Okay." "You shouldn't be too sad." "Yes I should." "Your mommy was sad too." "She cried on her way to heaven." "God cried as he waited for her." "When God was Jesus on earth, he also cried." "But usually he's as joyful as a child." "It's not joyful being a child." "When we need God, he makes a sign." "What kind of sign?" "He touches you and you feel better." "He didn't touch me." "You weren't paying attention." "I was too!" "But I don't know what he looks like." "Like nothing." "He's a spirit." "Jesus isn't a spirit." "When he went up to heaven he became one." "Come on." "Daddy said that it's not true." "And that it won't stop me from hurting." "It's not nice to lie to me!" "You feel better?" "Yeah, but I don't like the girl out there." "She's nice." "You'll see." "Goodnight." "Goodnight to Yoyotte too." "Goodnight." "And goodnight to my daddy too." " Your tummy hurts?" " Yes." "I have some tummy medicine." "It's really yummy." "A tiny teaspoon." "I'll be right back." "Mathias can stay." "Was it good?" "Yes. i love syrup." "Me too." "It's my favourite." "But I hate suppositories." "I've had enough." "I never want any more." "Well, I love suppositories!" "What?" "You love suppositories?" "Yes." "And you know what I like the most?" "No." "When they rub cream on you, they touch you and you feel better." " Should I pretend to?" " Okay, do it here." "I'll take off your T-shirt." "I'll take my little tube." "On your nose." "Up to your nose." "There, all finished!" "Feel better now?" "Yes, a little better." "I feel a lot better." "You know," "I'm in Arthur's gang." "We'll be raiding the girls." "Aurelie is really nice." "Tickle, tickle." "Stop it." "Tickle tickle." "Let me go, Ponette..." "A goodbye kiss." "That's God's room." "It's where you go to pray." "Can we go in?" "Not alone." "We can't make noise in there." "You have to ask a teacher or Aurelie." "Why does God have a room?" "Just because." "If you don't believe me, ask Aurelie." "Or ask Ada, the girl over there." "I won't ask her anything." "You never want to, but you keep asking me questions about your mother." "Just ask Ada." "She knows tons about God." "And she's a Jew." "She knows everything about Jesus." "Why do Jews know everything about Jesus?" "Because Jesus was a Jew." "Just like Ada." "I don't think so." "I'm sure of it." "You never heard of Jews and you say it's not true." "I'll explain." "There's a Jewish religion and a Catholic one." "Catholics are allowed to eat pork." "Jews aren't allowed to." "But Ada eats pork anyway." " You know what pork is?" " Yes." "What's the difference between Jews and Catholics?" "Some Catholics aren't nice." "But there' aren't too many mean Catholics." "There are nice Jews too." "Some Catholics speak Arabic." "Because Arabs aren't Jews." "Arabs live across the sea and they're Catholics." "Are you sure?" "Yeah, they're half-Jewish, half-Catholic." "I doubt it." "There are Arabs who are totally Jewish, but not a lot." "I don't get it at all!" "You didn't listen." "That's why." "If you want, you can ask Ada." "She's nice." "She'll explain things." "You know what she is?" "She's a child of God." "A child of God?" "Yeah, she's the only one." "There are no others here." " Are you really a child of God?" " Sure I am." "What's a child of God?" "It's like God is our daddy." "But don't you already have a daddy?" "This way, I can ask God things too." "God has powers." "He's almighty." "He can give orders because he's the strongest." "You know, Jesus is not almighty." "He can't order God around." "But if you're a child of God, you have power over God." "Some people can order God around a little." "My daddy doesn't believe in God." "I do." "I can even make him stop talking." "because sometimes he talks too much." "I do something and he loses his voice." "What do you do?" "My powers are my secrets." "What's his voice like?" "It's deep." "I can hear it everywhere." "Below, above, right, left, every which way." "God said I had to undergo great trials." ""You have to undergo great trials."" " To become a child of God?" " Yes." "And I did them all." "I can make you do them too." "But if your daddy doesn't believe in God, it may not work." "What if I believe?" "I don't know." "I'll think over and ask him." "What I really want, is to make God let me talk to my mother." "Can't you just talk to her?" "No, my mommy's dead." "No one can talk to a dead person." "You can't talk to her directly." "You have to ask God." "God decides." "But you can if you're a child of God!" "You do it in God's room?" "What's God's room?" "The room where my people pray." "Oh, the chapel." "You can talk to him there too." "Your mother wouldn't hear you." "Only God." "I'll see what to do if your dad doesn't believe and your mom's dead." "You want me to give you a trial tomorrow?" "Okay." " Did I hurt you?" " Yes." "Aurelie, can you show me God's room?" "Okay, but not for long." "I have work to do." "We pray here." "We can think about God and Jesus." "I know mommy's in heaven." "She's with God." "Yes, she lives with God." "Yes." "Before, mommy couldn't hear me." "She can hear your prayers." "But she couldn't answer because it's God who decides." "God's the boss." "He decides." "That's right." "You know what lava is?" "It's the devil." "If you fall in the lava, you burn and die!" "There are little islands." "You have to jump onto an island." "You need to wear glasses." "I can stay with you in the lava because I already passed this trial." " My feet can't burn." " Yes." " Ready?" " Yes." "I'll help you." "If you fall in the lava, you'll die!" "And your glasses will burn!" "They'll melt!" "Hurry up!" "You win!" "But... the second jump is the hardest." "Come on!" "You messed up." "Good thing I'm here." "Can you smell your shoes?" " Can't you smell them?" " No." "You can't smell the burnt rubber?" "Yes I can." "And now you have to jump from the island back to earth." "Come on, lazybones!" "You're not a child of God yet." "But anyway, you passed the first trial." "It was a little hard." "But soon you'll have magic powers." "God Almighty..." "God Almighty... you know my mommy is dead" "because she's with you." "But I want to talk to my mommy." "I tried and I couldn't." "She never answered me." "Tell her to talk to me." "See, mommy?" "I talked to God Almighty." "I have lots of kisses for you." "Can you kiss the candy?" "Go on, go on." "We'll play a trick on Mathias." "Come on." "You'll see." "It'll be funny." "For the others too." "You're single." "You want some candy?" "What flavour?" "Bite it and see." "What does single mean?" "If you bite it..." "You'll see, like I said." "Why are you laughing?" "You're in love with Carla!" "She played the magic candy trick on you!" "She kissed the candy before." "Now you have to love Carla." "You have to ask her to marry you!" "What if I don't want to?" "With magic candy, you have to want to!" "You have to ask her to get married." "You're like daddies." "You don't like love." "My daddy likes love." "My daddy loves love." "Mathias loves Carla!" "Mathias loves Carla!" "Give her a kiss!" "A kiss!" "A kiss!" "Leave me alone!" ""Caroline's little dog..."" "Yes, Ponette?" "My head hurts." "Can I go to sleep in my room?" "Delphine, take her to her room." "We'll ask Aurelie for medicine." "You'll see." "You'll feel better." "Go to sleep now." "God Almighty..." "God Almighty," "I hope you told mommy that I prayed." "It was a prayer for you and for her too." "I'm okay." "I'll wait on my bed." "That way, it'll be a secret." "No one will see." "This is my second prayer and I'm very happy." "Thank you, God." "If God is almighty, why won't he make a sign?" "He won't talk to me." "My prayers didn't do anything." "Not for mommy, not for nothing." "You just started." "Why do you want signs?" "Aurelie told me too." "Maybe your mommy's angry." "At me?" "I don't know." "Ask Aurelie or Ada." "They know." "I was never dead." "I don't know what happens in heaven." "Mom is picking us up tonight." "Pack your things." "Don't forget anything." "Watch closely." "This is what you have to do." " You're scared!" " No." "You'll never be a child of God." " I don't care." " No, you're just scared." "No, God is against me." "Why would he be?" "He's upset." "Yeah, upset." "He's angry." " At who?" " At me." "All he told me was:" ""Ponette has trials to undergo"." "That's all." "He didn't say anything to me." "See, I wasn't scared!" "That makes two trials." "I'm stopping." "I'll start again when God talks to me." "He won't unless you're a child of God." "What if I pass all the tests?" "Then he'll talk to you too." "You have to get ahead." "If you work on it this week-end it'll go faster." "What should I do?" "Prove that you're brave." "It's a really hard one." "It's scary, especially if you hear noises." "It's just for five minutes." "Chickening out?" "I don't know if this counts for being a child of God." "If it's scary, it does." "And this is scary." "And it stinks!" "It forces you to be brave, so it counts." "Give me the watch." "You'll stay nearby?" "We can't tell you that." "Come on." "Five minutes." "I'll help you in." "Here, give me the watch." "I'l close it: one, two, three!" "Move your hand." "Look." "Five minutes." "When the little hand is on 5." "You're already really brave." "If you tell yourself a Batman story, it'll go faster." "Starting now." " Should we go or stay?" " Let's go!" "No, we should stay." "She's crying!" "Hurry up!" "You did it!" "Five minutes!" "Great, Ponette!" "You did it!" "Great!" "I'll help her out." "and then you help me out." "Sure I will." "You'll help me out?" "You did it!" "You did it, Ponette!" "Get in there!" "On my shoulders." "Climb up, Ponette." "Help me out now." "Okay." "Get in there!" "Watch your hands." "Careful." "Let's go." "Careful." "Come back!" "Who wants to kill me?" "We always have to kill you!" "Then you hit me." "Forget it!" "Go rot in jail!" "You can kill me." "I don't want to." "I'll lend you my gun if you do." "I'll shoot you in the head." "Yeah!" "And i'll scream while I die!" "You can't kill anyone else!" "Why not?" "It's my gun." "Give it back." "Give it back." "Give it back!" "It's mine!" "You killed your mom because you were mean." "Don't try killing anyone else." "You already killed your mother!" "When someone's mommy dies... it's because her kid was mean." "Get it?" "That's not true!" "I'm not mean!" "You're the mean one!" "No, I'm always nice and my mom's not dead!" "Get it?" "You're mean!" "It serves you right she's dead!" "If my mommy was here, you'd never have said that." "If my mommy was here..." "You're mean!" "What's wrong?" "I want to die." "Why?" "Because I want to." "Is it Antoine?" "No, it's me." "What did Antoine say?" "He said I was really mean... and it serves me right if my mommy died." "That's dumb." "You're nice." "I'm nice too." "When you're nice, you give presents." "You can have my Batman if you want it." "Thanks." "Put it in your pocket so you don't lose it." "If you're nice, you should give me something." "What will it be?" "My daddy's watch." "Okay." " Give it back when I want." " Okay." "Go back to sleep now." "I want to disappear forever." "To go where?" "To see my mommy." "Your mommy may be in heaven." "That's why..." "That's why you have to make me die." "But your father's coming on Friday." "Is it Antoine you want to kill?" "Yes." "Then you'll stop thinking bout dying?" "I want to die." "Either we kill him and you don't die... or we don't kill Antoine and we kill you." "But I don't know how to kill him." "We can buy a real-life gun." "But if we kill him, Aurelie will yell at us." "No she won't." "From now on, stick by me during recess." "You're nutty but nice." "I don't want you deciding to die." "Give me a kiss." "Go back to bed now." "You still want your mom to come back?" "If you're having a hard time, I have an idea." " You know Mathias's Smarties?" " Yes." " Mathias really loves Carla now." " That's true." "Keep quiet about Carla!" "If you go to the cemetery, take some smarties." "But I'm almost a child of God." "But you need to fix her voice." " She'll have no voice?" " She hasn't spoken for a while." "I have to fix it?" "Resurrect her with magic smarties then have her eat them." "I gave you five." "What's the blue one for?" "So you don't fall in water." "Green resurrects." "And red?" "Take your seats!" "Come on, you chatterboxes." "The orange one is... if you want to take a walk, your mommy will too." " What are you doing?" " Waiting for daddy." "Henri said to come!" "I'm waiting for daddy." "Parents come on Fridays, after school." "That's tomorrow." "Don't stand there." "Come with me." "Delphine?" "What is it?" "My mommy, she came for real in my dream." "And?" "And she came." "She smelled me and I smelled her." "What did she smell like?" "She smelled good." "Like candy." "I can still smell her." "Can you?" "No." "And you know what else?" "She held me in her arms." "I don't smell anything." "She went away again." "Mommy!" "I'm here." "So I smell like candy?" "My nutty little girl." "Mathias is right." "You're nutty but nice." "I came so you'd stop worrying." "I came in flesh and blood so I wouldn't scare you, but it's really me." "I looked for you with God." "I know." "When I felt I was dying," "I could have resisted, but it was easier not to." "I didn't fight." "I let go." "I know it wasn't nice for you." "I didn't think of you." "I was mean and selfish." "I did all the trials with Ada." "I said goodbye." "I wasn't bad." "It took time." "When I reached the end, before I went under," "I heard a voice." "It was you calling me." "All the time..." "I called out to you but to tell you it wasn't worth it." "I called you then I don't know what happened." "Last night you held me." "I'm sure of it." "You held me too." "Happy spirits like your mommy never die." "Let's go." "A yellow flower!" "What pretty flowers!" "I picked it because your tomb wasn't pretty." "Where was it?" "Over there." "On Ulysses's tomb." "Who remembers Ulysses?" " Shall we go?" " Okay." "Isn't it spooky here?" "Everyone's forgotten Ulysses." "Fortunately, memories still remember him." "It's a memory." "Someone we probably never knew." "A girl's whistling and her daddy's saying: "That's not nice!"" "It is nice!" "Maybe it was a long time ago when only boys whistled." "Maybe it's Ulysses's daughter's memory." "Her name is Clorinde." "Bye, Clorinde!" "See you later." "Bye, Ulysses." "Tomorrow daddy will take you out and you'll laugh all day long!" "You played with them twice at night." "With who?" "With Mathias and Delphine." "You didn't play with me or look at me." "Never again." "I'll play with you." "We'll play tonight, if you want." "For real?" "For real in your dreams." "That's not for real." "When we play it's always for real." "Catch me a memory." "I don't want to." "I hate children who never want to." "I hate children who complain." "Why are you alive?" "To want everything." "That's why I came back, so you'd make me a promise." "Stop crying, stop complaining." "I don't want a sad child." " Does life scare you?" " No." "No, life's not too much for my girl." "No one likes neglectful children." "What's a neglectful child?" " One who forgets to laugh?" " That's right!" "A child who forgets to laugh." "You can die, but die alive, full of life!" "Until then, the world is yours." "Try everything." "Every single thing." "Then you can die." "I have to try everything!" "Everything!" "Can you not care?" "No, you can't." "No, you have to care about life." " Mommy?" " Yes?" "I'm cold." "That's why I brought a sweater." "You want it?" "When I saw you leave, I thought:" ""She's going to be cold"." "What did you find?" "What did you find?" " I won't show you." " Yes you will." "What is it?" "A baby." " A baby's memory?" " One who's not born yet." " It's in its mommy's belly?" " Yes." " Do you know this baby?" " Yes." "Do I know it too?" " Do I know it?" " Yes!" "What's it doing?" "It's jiggling around." "I know." "It's night time." "Mommy's asleep and daddy's playing with the baby." "He's stroking it in mommy's belly." "The baby answers him by thrashing about." " With its feet?" " And fists." "And the baby can hear daddy talking." "And when I wake up, I see you both playing." "Yes, we play while you sleep." "So I fall back asleep because I like it when you play." "And the baby, it can talk too." "It says: "Don't tickle me!"" "Ponette, whenever you want, jump up and catch a memory of me," " Okay." " You promise?" "Will you stay with me?" "No, I'm dead." "Not anymore." "I'm still a little dead." "If you stay, maybe they'll forget you're here." "But they'll know I'm here." "Not if the two of us hide well." "You can hide with me." "My head hit the steering wheel and everything broke." "My chest broke against it too." "You know that." "You have to go now." "Daddy came for you." "Go and be happy with him." "I'm not sad when you're happy with him." "We're going to Lyon, to the fair." "Go then." "Don't forget I love you." "Don't forget." "Goodbye, Ponette." "You have to go now." "Go." "No." "Turn around." "Do you love me for real?" "Oh yes, I love you." "Go now." " Have some candy." " No." "Go see daddy." "Ponette!" "Where were you?" "With my mommy." "I saw her all day long." "You went to the cemetery alone?" "Are you crazy?" "How was it?" "It was nice." "She came back in flesh and blood." "I wasn't even scared." "She gave me her red sweater." "I haven't seen it in a while." "She was right to." "Yeah, but... the thing is she'll never come back." "She told me so." "She can't keep making round trips." "No." "But there are holes in the ground and you can come back." "She told me to learn to be happy." "She told me to learn to be happy." "# by lyliakar #"