"And we are definitely.." "..getting rid of this." "My cuirass!" "Where did you find it?" "You can't throw that away." "Give me a brake Hilda, you haven't used your cuirass for centuries." "Oh I've just been waiting for it To come back into style." "Hm-mm, and when were you going to use this?" "Oh my mace!" "Oh remember the good times?" "Party!" "Only you would be nostalgic for the dark-ages." "I never want to trip over this again." "My cannon!" "Why would you want to keep an instrument of destruction in the house?" "Sentimental reasons?" "We don't have room for all this junk." "Junk!" "You call this junk?" "Put the mace down." "All right, I'll make you a deal." "You have a week, if you use these things you can keep them if not, they go." "Fine, I accept because it just so happens that.." "you selected three items that are very useful to me." "Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to put my cannon away." "Okay!" "Okay!" "I'll clean my room." "See?" "I told you it was useful." "Sabrina, the Teenage Witch 1x05:" "Geek Like Me" "..And the best way to remember it is, mandible has a "B"" "and that stands for bottom." "But how do we remember maxilla?" "It's the other one." "Oh wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait." "before you bolt, Gordie has a very important announcement that.." "just might change your lives." "Take it away." "Okay, in fifteen eighty-one Galileo began.." "Make it quick Gordie." "umping to the end of the millennium, the Science Club will be every day after school to to celebrate national science week." "You mean national geek week." "We hope you'll all join us." "Any questions?" "Yeah, can we get outa here?" "Sure." "Oh, sign up early, win a ham." "It's a tough room, Gordie." "Believe me, I know." "Hey Gordie, why don't you come up with a scientific explanation for why you're such a loser?" " Wesson head." " Zit master." "Poor Gordie, I feel so bad for him." "Well he needs to be more in touch with his audience." "No one knows or cares what Galileo did in fifteen eighty-one." "He entered the university of Pisa." "Sabrina, I didn?" "t know you were a geek." "I'm not, I just like science." "Does that make me a geek?" "No, I guess not." "And, you know, I?" "m even thinking of going by the Science Club after school." "Okay now that could be a problem." "Why?" "Because this is high school." "If you show passion or enthusiasm for anything you're doomed" "You might as well be wearing a big "Kick Me" sign." "Hey Harvey." "Help us out, Sabrina's got a problem." "What's up?" "Well I was thinking of joining the Science Club." "Really!" "I didn't know you were a geek?" "I'm not." "That's the problem, I'm afraid everyone will think I am." "Well they will." "I explained that we can't change the whole system just for her." "Well why does everyone have to be stuffed in a category?" "I mean.." "I don't get it, look around." "The cheerleaders only eat with the cheerleaders," "The geek's only eat with the geek's." "I just don't want to be labelled." "You have no choice." "You have a grace period as a new student but pretty soon you're going to be stereotyped." " Well what are you guys?" " Well I'm a quasi-jock.." "with semi-literary aspirations and a hint of denialism." "If only it was that simple for me." "Jenny, what are you?" "I tried to be an outsider but I didn't really fit in." "Now Libby calls me a freak and I?" "m okay with that." "Well why can't I just be me?" "That's a pretty small group." " We've got spirit," " Let's hear it." "Let's go!" "Let's go!" "I think we should take her advice and just go." "It's spirit week at Westbridge, we're playing Eastbridge this weekend and we're number one." "Yeah, in turn overs and penalties." "We'll be wearing our uniforms every day this week.." "and leading cheers at lunch reminding you to support our team." "Ready?" "Okay!" "East meets West and we know who's the best." "I don't get it." "I mean to me that looks geeky." "How can she do that and still be so popular?" "Libby's not popular, she's powerful." "Well how did she get the power?" "She seized it and as long as there are people backing her up she'll.." "keep it, it's all very Stalin." "I don't know what you guys are talking about," "Libby's always been nice to me." "I'm going to get more tatter-tots." "I'll go with you." "See you tomorrow." "We're number one." "Watch where you're going geek!" "You got my uniform wet." "I'm sorry." "Oh you are so transferred." "Libby, lay off him." "It was an accident." "It's just like a freak to defend a geek." "Maybe the two of you can get weekend jobs at the carnival." " Hi Harvey." " Hi" "See?" "She's nice." "Sabrina, I thought you were going to the Science Club?" "I am, in a minute as per our previous discussion." "Oh got it." "Later." "Well this is a delightful turn out." "Five, the same as last year which means none of you were killed at summer camp." "Ha ha." "I see Sherman's sporting a new look, did you get contacts?" "No, someone stole my glasses." "All right." "Well er let's begin by discussing the biggest scientific breakthrough in recent months, the possible evidence of life on Mars." "what does this discovery mean to us?" "Howard?" "It means that the governments been covering this up for years.." "and that Scully and Mulder are right, the truth is out there!" "All right, calm down, calm down." "Look how many times do we have to go over this?" "The X files is fiction, Scully and Mulder are played by actors." "Oh now come on, don?" "t get upset." "Hi, is this Science Club?" "Did you leave something in your desk, Sabrina?" "No, I was thinking of joining, unless you're all filled up." "Not at all, everyone's welcome." "Have a seat." "There's a girl in Science Club, don't panic." "Hey, how's it going?" "I never knew a pickle could be used as a light bulb." "Oh it's super-versatile." "Bye guys, see you later." "What are you doing here so late?" "Was there a meeting of the freak society?" "Libby why don't you just.." "Hey, great having you in Science Club Sabrina." "Don't forget to bring your rock tumbler tomorrow." "You went to Science Club!" "That is too perfect, you're a geek in freaks clothing." "I am not a geek!" "That doesn't prove anything." "Oh here let me help you." "See you later... geek." "Look it still fits and it's great for lounging around the house." "That doesn't count as a use." "Why not?" "No one wears metal after labour day." "Aunt Hilda, what's the range on your cannon?" " I'll get it, we'll find out." " Hilda!" "will you please sit down?" "Sabrina, a cannon is not a solution for a land based problem." "What's going on?" "Libby caught me coming out of Science Club." "You went to Science Club?" "Oh that's wonderful." "No, it's not." "Now Libby thinks I'm a complete geek" "I knew this would happen, it's Zelda?" "s influence." "I begged you to watch TV with me so you'd be normal." "Oh be quiet." "Hey!" "It's dark in here." "Now, it shouldn't bother you what Libby says." "It shouldn't but it does." "I wanna use my magic to teach Libby a lesson." "That sounds very constructive." "I'm going to give her a snout" "Oh good idea!" "You need to talk to my friend Cicero, he's an expert on these matters." "Come on, we'll look him up in the book." " Are you coming Hilda?" " Yes..." "No..." "I can't." "My outfits too heavy.." "but it's very useful." "See, when you said look him up in the book" " I thought you ment phone book." " No, magic book." "Cicero is figure three-A." "He's one of the ancient geeks." "Oh there he is." "Hello Cicero." "There's a girl looking at me." "Mmm, don?" "t panic." "Ask him what he'd do, he's very knowledgeable." "He was the first registered chrome." "Hey Cicero, I'm Sabrina and I have a question." "Ask away but make it quick." "If the centurions catch me here it's a guaranteed swirly in the aqueduct." "Okay." "See there's this girl in my school.." "and she keeps calling me a geek and I really don't like it." "I suggest that you ignore her, okay." "Bye bye." "No wait!" "I can't ignore her, no one can ignore her." "You've gotta help." "Well there are two ways to teach her a lesson." "The first is to just give her a snout." " I knew it." " What's the second?" "Give her a taste of her own medicine, turn her into a geek." "She'll see how it feels and she'll learn that it's what's inside that really counts." "But how can I do that?" "A simple spell, just.." "..point." "Like this?" "Well actually you just have to point." "My glasses were slipping." "Thank you Cicero, you've been a big help." "Nice move four eyes." " Hi Libby." " Are you okay?" "Oh my eye balls have started itching, it must be my contacts." "I'll be right back." "Libby wears contacts?" "Much better." "Oh my god!" "What happened to you?" "You look totally weird." "I took my contacts out." "But what did you do to your hair?" "Oh, well I ran my fingers through it a couple of times." "Doesn't it look shiny?" " More like greasy." " What's with the uniform?" "I was cold so I pulled up my socks." "It's function over fashion." "Since when!" "Oh, the bell!" "We'll be late for class." "We're always late for class, that's what we do." "But we might miss something that's on a test, come on." "What are you looking at?" "Hey Harvey, Jenny, over here." "You look happy." "What's going on?" "Oh just a new world order.." "and butterscotch pudding." "Oh boy, butterscotch pudding." "Hair check, Matt Sabetti's heading this way." "Hi Girls." "Hi." "What was that noise?" "My asthma just kicked in, I need my inhaler." "Get it later, it's time to cheer." "We've got spirit." "Let's hear it." "Ready?" "Okay" "East meets West and we know who's the.." "You poked me in the eye." "Emergency huddle." "Not you." "You're huddling without me!" "You can't huddle without me." "You can't exclude me!" "We just did." "You're sitting out spirit week, Chessler, you're a threat to the whole team." "But where will I go?" "Who will I sit with?" "I'm sure you'd fit in over there." "I don't think so." "Watch where you're going, geek!" "Who do you think you're talking to?" "Just because I wear glasses and have asthma and want to do well in school does not mean that I'm a.." "Oh no!" "There's something different about Libby, did she change her hair?" "Ready?" "okay." "It's spirit week and Libby's now a geek." "People are laughing at Libby." "I know it's mean to say this, but Yes!" "Hey, she's always been nice to me." "I'm going to go talk to her." "But whatever Libby's going through doesn't involve you." "Who said it did?" "It's not like I feel responsible, I'm just a really empathetic person." "Gotta go." "Libby?" "I know you're in here, I can hear you wheezing." "What do you want?" " I just came to talk." " Don't you mean gloat?" "I can talk and gloat at the same time." "Look Libby, I thought you might need a friend." "Why, because all my other friends dumped me?" "Don't they realise that geeks have needs and wants and feelings?" "If you trip us do we not fall?" "If you prick us do we not scream and pass out?" "And what did that teach you?" "To hate cheerleaders." "No." "It teaches you that it's what's inside that counts." "That's what I've learned?" "Man, I hope so." "Wait a minute, let me process this." "It's what's inside that counts, so no matter how I look or dress" "I'm still me, I'm still Libby Chessler." "This is very exciting." "But not over exciting." "Let's go back to lunch." "Can I sit here?" "Relax, I?" "m one of you." "What's going on, Libby's sitting with the geeks?" "See, I told you she was nice." "What did you say to her?" "I just told her to be herself." "Let's talk about power." "How to get it; how to keep it." "Hey did you see 'Xena, warrior princess' last night?" "Quiet, this is important." " Are you catching the bus?" " No, I?" "m going to Science Club." " Are you sure you wanna broadcast that?" " Yeah I do." "Today the halls are safe for geeks." "But you can't protect them from themselves." "Hey, I brought my rock tumbler." "May we help you?" "What are you doing here?" "I'm the new president and by the way, membership is closed." "Science Club is now limited to six people." "That's how many can fit in the space shuttle." "You can't do that." "Where's Mr. Pool?" "I sent him for Tang and Fig Newtons." "Besides, you don't belong here." "You're not a total geek, is she guys?" "Yeah, you never sat with us at lunch." "And what's you eye sight, twenty-twenty?" "Well stab me in the back with a protractor why don't you?" "I can't believe you guys are siding with Libby?" "She used to make fun of you all the time." "Yeah, but now she's our leader." " She's not my leader." " What did you say, Gordie?" "I said... you're not my leader..." "you, you're pushy and bossy.." "..And if Sabrina goes, I go." " That was very brave of you, Gordie." " Don't talk, run!" "Look Salem, I'm tenderising the beef with my mace." "It's a deadly weapon and a handy kitchen tool." "Oh please, we?" "ve all seen the infomercial." "Hi Sabrina." "I just had a big stinky day." "Aunt Hilda, my magic never works the way I want it to." "Would it make you feel better to pound some beef?" "Maybe." "Well you'll be happy to know I got kicked out of the Science Club." "How come?" "Because Libby says I'm not a total geek." "I thought you were upset yesterday because she said that you were one?" "Yes." "There is no pleasing you." "All right, you're a little too good at that." "Let's take a break." "Hey can I lick the mace?" "Oh all right but be careful." "Mmm, ouch!" "But it's worth it." "You know the point was to teach Libby that it's what's inside that counts but I just forgot that inside she's just a manipulative, conniving dictator." "So are you reconsidering the snout?" "No, I'm just going to turn her back to normal." "I think I need to pound some more beef." "Hey Cee Cee, nice uniform." "What does the 'W' stand for?" "Where's my brain?" "Get away you geeks." "Hey look at me, I'm Jill and I wash my hair everyday." "Shields down, direct hit." "Fire again." "Hey, how many cheerleaders does it take to screw in a pickle?" "I don't get it." "You wouldn't." "Did you see that?" "The cheerleaders are being teased by the geeks." " The revolution is upon us." " I wouldn't be too sure about that." "That's funny, my eye balls stopped itching." "So anyway, I checked out the radar game check website and I think I'm going to link it to my home page." "Hey Libby, can I speak with you a moment?" "Make it quick, I don't wanna be seen talking with you." "Okay." "Well, y'know I was just wondering f you'd tried doing any cheers lately?" " I bet you could." " Any seal can clap." "I am a higher life form." "I never would have guessed it but I think Libby really likes being a geek." "Doesn't surprise me." "Libby doesn't care what group she's in, as long as she can exclude people she's happy." "Jenny, I want you to come to Science Club with me." "Sorry, I'm not into organised science." " Maybe I can convince you?" " I doubt it." "Aw!" "I hope I didn't suffer a hematoma." "Save it for club." "Come on." " Hey Harvey." " Hey guys, what's up?" "Do ya wanna come to Science Club?" "No way." "Weird, suddenly I wish I had every episode of 'Mystery science theatre' on tape." "Hurry up, we're going to be late." "Calm down, I'll be right back." "Stay here." "For the good of mankind." "I can't look." "And the handwriting recognition on my Newton turned it into" "'Are you afraid of the dork'" "I'll get it." " Hello Mr. Pool." " Sabrina!" "Let's talk Philip K. Dick." "Hey, you can't come in here." "Well of course she can." "And I've brought some friends with me." "Come on guys." "Hello." "Hey," " Hi." " Hi." "Are you all here for Science Club?" "Yeah, science rocks!" "Welcome!" "Welcome!" "Oh what a happy day, I've touched you kids." "I'm going to save the space programme." "Wait one nanosecond." "Science Club was supposed to be exclusively for geeks." "It is, but now we're all geeks." "Right now the Science Club is for everyone." "Are you kidding?" "This isn't a club, it's just a bunch of people with shared interests hanging out together." "Well not me." "I'm going home to wash my hair." "Wait, don't leave, you'll miss out." "The rest of us are going to play with really strong magnets." "Look at you." "Geeked to the gills, this is awful." "I blame myself, no wait, I blame Zelda." "This is all your fault." "My fault?" "Oh Sabrina you look adorable and so smart." "I feel smart and you know what?" "I learned something." "No matter what we're labelled Libby will always be Libby and I will always be me." "You had to become a geek to figure that out?" "Well it's actually rather complex." "I just put it in layman's terms for you." "I have to do that all the time." "Oh, so what are you saying, you dumb things down for me?" "Well, C colon backslash D'ah!" " Would you speak English." " You are always .." " Oh if you're so smart.." " ...pulling science down.." " ..." "I have knowledge you don't too.." " ...." "Without knowledge we'd.." "I'm going to take a shower." "Here let me help." "Wait a minute." "Here you go, Gordie." "You're setting me up aren't you?" "so now we're helping geeks?" "Well I just don't feel like making fun of them anymore." "You know geeks are people too." "But if we can't make fun of geeks, who will we make fun of?" "Hi Sabrina, Superfreak!" "I just thought you should know the kid next door is chucking water balloons at our house." "Mm, I know." "Hilda already went out there, she said she was going to do something about it." "He's such a little creep, he's going to break my window." "Arr!" "prepare to be boarded, Timmy!" "What was that?" "Yes!" "I used my cannon, it stays." "** sABOOR mUGHAL **"