"It's meant to be a gentle death, like drowning." "I wouldn't have thought drowning was gentle." " I found it." " Sam, that's Mr. Williams'." " You're lying." " No, I'm not." "I don't even like you!" "I told Sam his dad is dead." "And he's not." "I cannot let that man anywhere near him." "That's nice." " You were on the ward all day?" "Uh-huh." "Rushed off my feet." "'Bit of a chilly one this morning." "'Not long now, though, to go to the big day." "'Everyone's getting excited... '" "Morning." "I thought you liked me making you breakfast." "You shouldn't be looking after me." "Do you want to sit down?" "We need to make some changes." "What changes?" "Well, I'm going to take less shifts and be around a bit more." "And I don't want any more stealing, or bullying." "I wasn't bullying him." "He's a crybaby." "I hardly touched him." " Really?" " Yeah." "That's not what his mum said." "Is there something you're not telling me?" "I'm an open book, Mum  just like you." "I'll defrost the car for you." "The windscreen will be frozen solid." " But you don't need to do that." " Mum, it's no problem." "I'll get the engine going, too." "Is everything all right?" "Yeah." "Kettle did the job." "It's ready to go." " What are you doing today?" " Oh, just delivering Christmas cards." "Christmas shopping." "Well, have a great day, Mum." "'My name is Jenny Woodford." "'I was married to Peter Shelton'." "Peter Shelton?" "'Peter Shelton is my ex-husband." "'When I was married to him, he violently abused me and my son'." "'He has served the minimum term in prison of his life sentence... '... for murder.'" "'A local teacher savagely murdered by his girlfriend's ex-husband.'" "'He was stabbed to death'." "Oh." "Oh, damn." "Hi." "I'm Jenny, I'm Sam's mum." "Right." "I wondered if I could speak to Oscar?" "I don't think that's a good idea." "I just wanted to find out what happened." "Haven't you asked Sam?" " Yeah." " My wife told you the rest," " so what more is there to discuss?" " Please." "Just five minutes." "I thought he was going to give me another diving lesson." "I should have taken the hint." "So he pushed you in the shower in your uniform." "Was that it?" "Did something else happen?" "No." "It's OK." "No, he..." "I fell, that's all." " You don't have to lie for Sam." " I told you I didn't" " want to talk about it." " Oscar, wait." "I think you should leave now." "I'm so sorry." "Um..." "Was Sam's dad killed in Afghanistan?" "No." "You should know he's been making up stories about him." "Do you think he might be in need of a father figure?" "Not having his dad around is the best thing that ever happened to my son." "I'm sorry for bothering you." "Oh!" "Sorry." "Here we are." "Hi, Gran." "Two bells, one by your bed and the other one  by your chair." "You have been hard at work." "We've tried to put anything you need close to the bed." "Yeah." "Everything you had upstairs, but without the stairs..." "Oh!" "I'm sorry, Mum." "I'll get a dustpan and brush." "Butterfingers." "Typical." "I'm glad you're home, Gran." "Me too." "Philip Dawes, Philip Dawes..." "Excuse me, can I help you?" "Hi." "I'm looking for Philip Dawes." "Do you have an appointment?" "No." "No, I don't." "Can't you squeeze me in?" "Just two minutes?" "I'm afraid not." "Not without an appointment." "Is it all right?" "Thank you." "Pleasure." "So is it just the two of you, Christmas Day?" "Yeah." "I don't know what it will be like this year." " Sam's..." " Putting you through it a bit still?" "I've just seen Oscar  the boy he bullied." "Hey." "It's all right." "He's also been stealing." "What's he stealing, exactly?" "A watch  from one of the patients." "Well, tell him he has to give it back or you're going to get the police involved." "Teach him a lesson." "I can't." "It was Mr. Williams'." "The patient that Cathy was suspended over." "Here we are." "Jenny, these things start off small, but trust me." "They can soon get out of hand." "You're right." "Mr. Dawes?" "Yeah?" "I was wondering if you could help me." " Do I know you?" " No, I'm Sam." "Peter Shelton's son." "I want to see my dad." "I'm sorry." "I can't help you with that." "OK, here's my problem, Philip." "Look, I know as a minor, I need to be accompanied by an adult for a prison visit, OK, I get that." "My mum, she doesn't find it easy talking about my dad  even acknowledging his existence." "You must visit the prison all the time, right?" "Can you get a message to him?" "I work with victims, not prisoners." " But you were at his parole?" " I was there to support your mum." "But she's not a victim." "Listen, Sam." "It's her you need to speak to." "Could another adult come with me?" "You, maybe." "You could take me the next time you go?" "That's not possible." "Philip." "I'm just desperate to see him." "I can't help you." "Excuse me." "Cathy?" "Cathy?" "Cathy?" "Cathy?" "I'm coming in." "Cathy?" "Are you here?" "Cathy?" "Cathy, are you there?" "My dad, he's not dead." "Where is he?" "He's in prison." "What for?" "Murder." "Oh, my God." "Who did he murder?" "My mum's boyfriend." "She always made out that she loved my dad, but..." "Turns out she ran off with another guy." "That's who Dad killed." "That's screwed up." "It still doesn't give her the right to tell you he's dead." "I knew you'd understand." "Are you going to go see him?" "Of course I am." "And you think your mum will take you?" "She's not going to have a choice." "I didn't even realise she was that upset." "Don't blame yourself." "You can never know what's going on inside someone else's head." " I should've known." " She knew you were on her side." "She was a bloody good nurse." "I don't even think she did anything wrong." "Hey." "I'm really sorry  about Cathy." "Oh, it's Sam." "I've got to go." "Are you sure you're all right?" " Do you want me to drive you home?" " No, I'm all right." "Mum, where the hell have you been?" "I've been calling you." "What's wrong?" "It's Cathy." "What?" "Come here." "She was in the bath." "Just lying there." "What happened?" "She'd been drinking and  there were pills." "Was it an accident?" "Maybe." "Or a suicide." "Really?" "And the police were there?" "Yeah." "What did they think?" "Well, she..." "She was depressed, and  she was to blame for" "Mr. Williams's death, and that might have pushed her over the edge." "Are they investigating it any further?" "I don't know, Sam." "I can't believe she's gone." "Oh, Mum." "It's Christmas tomorrow." "Not much of a Christmas." "Hey, don't be like that!" "I mean..." "Still haven't wrapped your present." "Everything's going to be OK." "You'll see." "That looks nice." " Leg or breast?" " I told you not to bother." "Breast, then." "It's the best bit." "There you are." "How much did that set you back?" "20 quid?" "It's only Christmas once a year." "25?" "Gran, let's not worry about that now." "I'll worry about what I bloody well want." "It's my house." "And my turkey, right, Bill?" "That's right." "I found the tin." "Just the tin, mind." "There was no..." "I was only borrowing it, OK?" " I'm going to put everything back." " Of course you will!" " I will!" " How?" "You don't have a job." "That's why you're really here, isn't it?" " Free bed and board." " Mum!" "Gran, can we eat?" "Still strange without Mum." "Yeah." "Here's to her." "Mum." "I'm not going to toast that bloody woman." "Don't say that." "Just cos she's dead doesn't make it less true." "Mum, please." "Chrissy doesn't need this." "I don't want another repeat..." "Of what?" "The whole last 20 years bit?" "What are you saying about my mum?" "Oh, your mother was an angel." "Butter wouldn't melt." "But really, she was a conniving, domineering bitch." "She had you under her thumb, didn't she?" "She always knew you were weak." "When she died, I thought," "'It's a blessing. '" "Perhaps you'd finally step up for once, he a man." "But no, you did what you always do, didn't you?" "You fell apart." "Oh, poor Bill." "Send you over the edge, did it?" "Shut up, you bitch!" "Bitch!" "So, should we do presents now?" "Stockings first." "Fine." "Aw, my favourite!" "Chocolates, nuts and oranges." " It's what you always have." " And that's why it's perfect." "So, go on." "Open your present." "Family tree." "Thought we could fill it in now." "Make a start, anyway." "So  you and me." "That's easy enough." "What about Dad?" "I know his name was" "Peter Whitford, but what about middle names?" "No." "No middle names." " You don't seem very sure." " Yeah, I'm sure." "Mum  I called the hospital and you've got the day off on Tuesday." "What do you mean you called the hospital?" "We're going out." "You and me, like a family outing." "What are you talking about?" "You're going to take me to see my dad." "Peter" "Liam George Shelton." "I'm sorry." "I meant to tell you." "But what?" "You..." "Couldn't find the right time?" "Please." "Please listen to me." "Do you... have any idea how it feels to grow up without your dad?" "I-I had to protect you." "Protect me?" "It's no wonder you never liked to talk about him." "Cos it's you you're the one I need protecting from." " Sam!" "Sam!" " Get off me!" "You and all your lies." "Chrissy, who is it?" "Can we go somewhere?" "Anywhere?" "Yeah, of course." "Let me get my coat." "Hello." "I don't like the look of you, not one bit." "You want to watch who you're talking to." "Are you threatening me?" "Sam?" "What's going on?" "Is she giving you a hard time?" "Nothing I can't handle." "Let's go, come on." " They're all liars." " Yeah." "Come on." "And that's why you got to keep one step ahead of them." "You're the only good thing about this place." "I wish you never would have come to Margaret's house." "I hate her." "I wish she was dead." "Do you really?" "I wouldn't say it if I didn't." "Good to know it's not just me." "Yeah." "We're both freaks." "Christmas present." "OK." "Thank you." "It's nothing, really, chuck it if you hate it." "It's not that." "I haven't got anything for you." "That's all right." "Tell a lie." "Close your eyes." "Close them." " Sam..." " Close your eyes!" "OK, now turn around." "What?" "Turn around." "Now put your hair up." "OK." "You can open them now." "You're beautiful." "Shut up." "Shut up!" "Hey!" "That's it." "Ha-ha!" "Where have you been?" "I've been worried sick." "What have you decided?" "Hmm." " Are you taking me?" " Where have you been?" "With Chrissy." "Your turn." "Do you know what he did?" "Do you know why he's in prison?" "He's a murderer." "So?" "That's why I told you he was dead." "I want to see him." "You don't." "You don't want to have anything to do with him." " He's not who you want him to be." " He is." "I remember him." "Playing with me." "Swinging me around" " like I was flying." " No, no!" "That was James." "That was James, James loved you." " James..." " I don't want to hear about him!" "No, but that was the man that he killed!" "You mean the man you ran away with." " Why did you leave my dad?" " He wasn't your dad." "He didn't love you, he didn't even want me to have you." "But I want to see him." "I can't do that." " I won't." " You will." "Mum, you will do that." "Because if you don't you'll never see me again." " Sam..." " No, no, no." "Now, you look at me now." "It's been 12 years  and I'm not going to spend another day without him." "I'm sorry." "I'm so sorry." "Listen, I'm sorry about yesterday." "Yes, so am I." " I'm not surprised." " It's just..." "You know, the things she says." " Don't let her get to you." " I know, you're right." "When did you get so tough?" "Someone's got to be." "I need you to be there for me, too, Dad." "Chrissy." "I promise..." "I promise I'm never going to let you go again." "Here, what's this?" "It's a Christmas present." "Sam got it for me." "It's nice." "It's a bit old-fashioned." "I think it's beautiful." "Look, I know you're really keen on him, but..." "Don't go getting too serious, love." "Why?" "He seems a bit troubled." "He's fine with me." "Thanks." "Hi." "Hi, Sam." "Hi, Sam." "Hi, Sam." "Hello, Jenny." "I saw your name in the visitors' book." "Is this your son?" " Yeah, this is Sam." " Hello." " How are you, Sam?" " Yeah, I'm fine." "I'm excited to see my dad." "We've discussed everything." "Mum's agreed." "Going to go and meet him on my own." "Is that OK with you?" "Yeah." "This way, then." "Is that him?" "Yes." "And he's..." "He's not like I remember him." "Cos it's not him that you remember." "I told you that." "It's not too late." " We could go home right now." " No, Mum." "It's my dad." "OK, but Sam, the conversation might not go the way you want." "If you feel upset at any point, or uncomfortable..." "I appreciate the warning, Helen." "Thank you." "Dad." "Hello, Sam." "Do I look that bad?" "No, you don't." "Have a seat." "She told me you were dead." "I can understand why she would have done that." "I can't." "It's not her fault." "It's my fault." "What do you remember?" "Honestly..." "Not much." "I don't really remember you." "That's OK, you were small." "I remember you, though." "Kicking the ball, riding your bike, mucking about in the paddling pool." "You'd keep going all day." "Made me tired just watching you." "We used to say you had rocket fuel in your veins." " We?" " Me and Mum." "She left you." "And she left you for..." " For that man." " Yes, for James." "Whatever she says, whatever I did," "I loved her very much." "And I love you." "You don't even know me." "But I want to." "Do you think he'll get parole?" "He's served his sentence without incident." "Engaged with therapy," " expressed remorse." " Do you think he's sorry?" "He says so." "So you're in favour of his release?" "No, but the system only judges him on his behaviour." "So he could be pretending." "It's possible." "They can't lock him up forever." "If he gets out, the way Sam is  I don't know what will happen." "So what's it like  being in here?" "I deserved it." "I took a life, Sam." "That's something I'll always have to live with." "I'm really pleased you came." "Do you regret it?" "Every second of every day." " Really?" " Of course." "You don't have to talk to me like you talk to them." "OK, that's good to know." "What's going on between you and Sam?" "He's angry with me." "He found out that I lied to him." "When he was little, I told him that Peter was dead." "Did he have any kind of support?" "Therapy, back then?" "Yeah, a few sessions." "They said that he was suffering extreme..." "Extreme shock from the trauma." "So when he could speak  and he asked me questions  I lied." "Was I wrong?" "Well, it could explain his current lack of trust." "But even before he found out about his father, he..." "He steals, he..." "He bullies, he lies." "And then when he found out about his dad, he didn't care that he'd violently abused me, that he'd killed someone." "He was proud of it." "He's excited by him." "Look." "They're the same." "I'm going to tell you something, Sam  but it has to be our secret." "You can't tell your mother." "Anything." "What is it?" "I'm getting out." " Are you sure?" " Yeah." "I'm not sure how soon, but when I do..." "I want us to... be together." "Would you like that?" "I'd love it." "She'll try and stop us." "Have you got a mobile number?" "Yeah." "Say it." "Nice and slow, not too loud." "You ready?" "Oh." "Seven." "Seven..." "Ready to go back to my cell."