"I've got you now, paladin." "It's checkmate in two moves." "In two moves for you." "One move for me." "Mate." "Those complicated defenses do have their pitfalls." "Don't they, professor?" "Excuse me." "Mr. Paladin." "Thank you." "You wish to see me?" "Paladin?" "That's correct." "Sit down." "What do you want?" "Want you to read that." "I've already read the paper, mr..." "Sommers." "Haskell sommers." "Mr. Sommers, did you want to discuss current events?" "No." "Just read this advertisement in the personals column." ""young, attractive widow of means." ""lonely, desires company of young, attractive gentleman." "Matrimony." "Please apply in person." "Diamond s ranch, yerba verde, california."" "I'd say that young lady could've been a little more selective." "She's liable to have a stampede out there." "You answer that ad, paladin." "No." "My object is not matrimony." "I don't want you to marry her." "Just answer the ad." "The young lady says she's looking for a husband." "She's already got a husband." "She says she's a widow." "Paladin, the diamond s is my ranch." "The young lady's my wife." "What might be your business, sir?" "Well, my business might be answering an ad." "Well, join the club." "All of you?" "Mm-hmm." "Well, don't worry." "We'll narrow down the field before long." "Well, wouldn't that be the lady's prerogative?" "It might be." "Then, on the other hand, she might need some help." "Where do you think you're goin'?" "I oughta get my name on the list." "You take your place in line like everyone else." "Uh, you're not leavin', are ya?" "Just as fast as I can." "Señor, por favor." "Well, men, there goes another boy." "Looks like it's just gonna be the five of us." "Señor, por favor." "Gracias." "Espere aquí." "Mucho gusto." "do you like her?" "Very much." "The venus." "Oh, yes." "The venus." "Hmm." "Venus de milo." "3rd or 4th century, b.C. Golden age of greece." "It's a very decent copy." "I've seen the original in the louvre." "A present from louis xviii to the people." "You don't look like the sort of man who'd be interested in art." "And you don't look like the kind of woman" "Who would be advertising for a husband." "That gives us a great deal in common, doesn't it?" "Neither of us is what the other expected." "Mr..." "Paladin." "Your husband is quite a collector." "He was." "He collected money, land, cattle, art, and people." "He collected people?" "Hmm." "I was one of the prize objects of his collection." "Well, you would be a prize object" "In any collection." "Very nicely turned, mr." "Paladin." "Thank you." "Only I don't want to be an object in anyone's collection." "I'm more attractive than money..." "And warmer than art." "And a collector like your husband." "What do you mean?" "Well, you're collecting husbands." "I've been kept here like a statue" "For a long time, mr." "Paladin." "I've never known any other men." "My husband's never allowed me to." "And I'm afraid of him." "But I need to be wanted, paladin." "I am not a statue." "And I've learned one thing from my husband." "What I want..." "I can buy." "How will you make your selection?" "Let's just say a process of elimination." "That's not very flattering to a man" "To be involved in a contest like that." "Even if the prize is worth it?" "When did your husband die?" "Oh, he didn't." "Not yet." "Well, don't you think all this is just a little bit premature?" "Oh, I believe in being prepared." "For your husband's death?" "Let's say for my new life." "Well, what if your husband doesn't comply with your wishes?" "Oh, he's an old man, mr." "Paladin." "Look." "There's his picture." "He's in san francisco now, but he'll be back next week." "It's a long, hard road back from san francisco." "Younger men than my husband have died on that trail." "Well, if you want your husband killed," "Why don't you just kill him?" "I'm afraid of him." "He's tough." "He's tough and cunning..." "And very dangerous." "Well, you've picked five men." "Six." "When your husband is dead," "What are you gonna do when all six of us show up?" "I don't expect all of you to show up." "Well, do you have a preference?" "Now, what would make you think that I'd have any preference?" "My wife wants me dead." "Doesn't count for much, does it?" "Affection." "Position." "I've been something of a disappointment to my wife." "I'm afraid I'm going to have to disappoint her again." "What do you plan to do?" "I'm going back to yerba verde," "And I'm going to teach that young lady a lesson" "That she won't forget." "Just how do you plan on getting back to yerba verde alive?" "Ride back." "By what route?" "Same route I always take." "The shortest, straightest, fastest way to get there." "Unfortunately, in this case, that is not true." "There'll be five men waiting along that trail." "Waiting to shoot you down the first sight they catch of you." "I'll have protection." "Now, those odds are 5-1." "I hope you're not overestimating yourself." "I won't be alone." "Oh?" "Who's going with you?" "You are, mr." "Paladin." "Well, you're very sure of yourself, aren't you?" "It's an acquired habit." "Not too many people have given me reason not to be." "Well, there is a first time." "I suppose there's a thousand dollars there." "You ought to take that." "That's yours." "There'll be another thousand dollars" "When you deliver me back to my ranch." "An acquired habit." "Possibly." "At any rate, I don't like the 5-1 odds." "Well, you're the great equalizer." "There's one thing, mr." "Sommers." "If I ride with you, we'll go by the route I choose." "You may not be concerned about my collecting that other thousand," "But I am." "We'll go by the route I choose." "You wanna die that badly?" "I'm not gonna be safe, paladin, until those five men" "My wife's hired assassins- are out of the way for good." "We're not the hunted, paladin." "We're the hunters." "One more thing." "The other reason I want you along with me." "You've seen my ranch, and you've seen my wife." "She made, what I gather, is a fairly attractive offer" "In that advertisement." "I want you where I can keep an eye on you." "to your health." "What is it?" "There's two of 'em." "Where are they?" "They're up there someplace." "Watch it." "hold it right there, paladin." "That sommers?" "It seems to me that question was in order a little bit earlier." "Are you workin' for him?" "I was." "I don't think his widow's gonna like that." "Well, what's the matter with you?" "I'm just wondering..." "About what?" "Well, what do you need with me?" "Still got three more to get." "You took a terrible chance pulling a stunt like that." "When you're a young man, you can afford to take chances." "You get to be my age, you gotta take 'em." "They could've shot you a couple more times just to make sure." "They didn't." "Even had you pretty well fooled, didn't I?" "You did." "And you almost spoiled everything" "Trying to drag me behind that rock." "I was trying to save your life." "Well, maybe." "Maybe you did at that." "You're welcome, mr." "Sommers." "Well, what do you think you're doing?" "Lightin' a fire." "You might as well put up a big sign." "I intend to." "Well, I don't." "Give me your gun, paladin." "Now, what is this?" "Give it to me." "Now, go sit on that log over there." "Go on." "Mr. Sommers..." "You're gonna be my sign." "Well, I'm also gonna be a very good target." "Aw, they ain't gonna kill you." "not till after I'm dead anyways." "They think you're one of them." "They gonna see this fire, come in to investigate it," "Find out it's only just you, and sit down to talk a spell." "Me?" "I'm gonna be out there in the dark." "Paladin?" "Is that you?" "It's me." "We thought you might be sommers." "Sommers, hmm?" "Sommers." "Yeah." "What are you doin'?" "Sommers is out there someplace." "I reckon that'd be just about enough for tonight." "Well, you certainly don't believe" "In giving a man much of a chance, do you?" "About the same chance they'd have give me." "Now, paladin, your day's work's not quite ended." "Soon as you dispose of these, uh, gentlemen" "Since you were hired to protect me" "You can give me some protection whilst I sleep." "I'm beginning to see what your wife meant about you." "Forget about my wife." "Mr. Sommers, your wife is not a very easy woman to forget." "I worked hard all my life to surround myself with beauty." "You bein' an attractive man, paladin," "I don't expect you to appreciate that." "With me, it's a different case." "I can appreciate beauty" "And had a wealth of beauty in my home." "Furniture, paintings, statues." "And your wife." "And my wife." "I don't look to part with any of it." "Far as I go." "It's four down, one to go." "I want that fifth man dead, paladin." "All right." "Hold it, right there." "And I got business with you, too." "All right, sommers, you can get up now." "I can guarantee you that wouldn't have worked this time." "Put the gun away, sommers." "They're all dead." "All but one, paladin." "Give me your gun." "How poetic." "You gonna kill me with my own gun." "No." "I'm gonna kill you where my wife can watch it happen." "It's part of the little lesson I'm gonna teach her." "Give it here." "I was right about you, paladin." "I was right about you all along, wasn't I?" "You..." "Paladin?" "I want $1,000." "I've come for my fee." "I don't understand." "Your husband hired me to bring him back here to this ranch." "He's outside," "And I expect his estate to make good on his debts." "Don't you expect me to make good on mine?" "You don't owe me..." "Anything." "You killed him, didn't you?" "There's a lot more to his estate than $1,000." "Aside from my fee..." "I don't want anything that belongs to haskell sommers." "I'll get you the money." "Thank you." "You're a fool, paladin." "Probably." "At any rate, that will give me something to think about" "On my way back to san francisco." "¶ "have gun, will travel" reads the card of a man ¶" "¶ a knight without armor in a savage land ¶" "¶ his fast gun-for-hire heeds the calling wind ¶" "¶ a soldier of fortune is the man called ¶" "¶ paladin ¶" "¶ paladin, paladin where do you roam ¶"