"[Tone Sounding]" "[ Woman ] We would like to remind our visitors today... that the documentary film on the works ofAlex Katz... will begin in 1 0 minutes in the Brunnell Theater." "[ Door Opens, Closes ]" "[ Footsteps ]" "[ Spray Can Rattling ]" "**" "[ Man ] * I won 't walk with my head bowed*" "* Be on caution where lovers walk *" "* Your love walks where three 's a crowd*" "* Be on caution where lovers walk *" "* Lovers walk Lovers scramble *" "* Be on caution where lovers walk *" "* Lovers step shuffle and gamble *" "* Be on caution where lovers walk *" "* Lovers trip Lovers stumble *" "* Lovers dip Lovers fumble *" "* Lovers live where love has crumbled*" "* Be on caution where lovers walk *" "* Lovers strut Lovers stroll *" "* Lovers leap *" "* Lovers late Lovers wait *" "[ Conti nues On Headset ] * Making promises that they can't keep *" "* Lovers link up arm in arm *" "* Lovers slink up Lovers charm *" "* Lovers drink up and come to harm *" "* Be on caution where lovers walk *" "* Love is gone and it's no one's fiault *" "* Lovers stop here Lovers halt*" "* Lovers don't walk Lovers run*" "*Will you look what love has done *" "*Will you look what love has done *" "* Willyou look what love has done *" "* Be on caution where lovers walk *" "** [ Continues ]" "* Now love's limpin' on a lovers crutch *" "* Lookin' fior a hand with a personal touch *" "* Be on caution where lovers walk *" "** [ Continues ]" "You stepped over the line." "* Be on caution where lovers walk **" "Huh?" "." "You stepped over the line, miss." "Uh, it's Ms." "** [ Ofifi]" "Sorry, Ms., but, um" "I meant to." "You're not supposed to do that." "Or the photos." "That's why I tried it." "Why?" "." "To see what would happen." "Well, uh," "I mean, I'm what happens." "I-I ha" " I have to walk over, like I've done, and askyou to take a step back." "And ifi someone doesn't, what then?" "." "I'm not sure." "I've never had anyone not step back." "I've only said it, like, flour times, and every time they've done it." "What ifiI'm your fiirst?" "." "Non-stepper, I mean." "Then what?" "." "Look, I'm ofifiin 1 0 minutes." "I'd probablyjust stand here, make sureyou didn't touch anything." "Really?" "." "Prettymuch." "Yeah" " No, I'd let the next shifit talk toyou, kickyou out, orwhatever." "You wouldn't grab me or anything?" "." "You're not gonna mess up myweekend with this, areyou?" "." "I wasn't planning on it, but I'm not completely against it either." "See, ifiyou get all crazy, then I gotta write up a report and stufifi." "I'm here till 5:00, 5:30 easy, and I have a second job to get to-- the video store." "Oh, that's where I" "I've seen you in there." "You helped me once, I think." "Yeah?" "." "With what?" "." "The Picture ofDorian Gray." "You fiound it in " Drama," not "Classics."" "Right!" "I remember that!" "Somebodymisplaced it." "Yes!" "Yeah, behind Cabaret." "Mmm." "That's funny." "Anyway, you helped me." "That was... nice." "Thanks." "But you're not gonna return the flavor, right?" "." "You mean, step back over" "No, I-I'm" " I'm sorry." "I can't." "Whyis that?" "It's a pretty good-sized sculpture." "You could see it just fline firom here." "Truthfully?" "I'm gonna deface the statue." "Oh." "Uh, is that paint?" "Yes, it is." "Great." "Hey, uh, paint's not really a great thing to bring into a museum." "[ Chuckles Nervously] Why do you have that?" "." "I'm gonna do something to the nude." "What, like, color it?" "." "I'm thinking more ofi painting a big dick on it." "Oh." "And would "Why?" be completely out ofithe question here?" "." " Because I don't like art that isn't true." " True?" "." "This sculpture, it's flake, it's not real." "Therefiore, fialse art." "No, it's a Fornicelli." "It defiinitely is." "I read the little thingie there one time." "Yes, but the leafiisn't." "It's not?" "Well, what is it?" "A pastie orsomething, like strippers have?" "It's plaster... that was added by a committee who had complaints firom local townspeople." "Really?" "." "I didn't know that." "Theytook issue with his thing-- you know, the shape ofit." "Said it was too lifielike." "It's supposed to be God." "You know, that's what pisses them ofifi." "Look." "See, it's right behind the leafi there." "You can just see his" "[ Man ] Twig." "[ Both Chuckle ]" "Yeah, but they didn't even cover it properly." "It's shoddy crafitsmanship." "I mean, ifiyou're gonna do it, at least do it-- Exactly." "Do it right." "[ElevatorBell Dings ]" "So, you're a student, then, or is this just basic anarchy?" "." "Student." "Me too." "What's your emphasis?" "." "Taking out school loans, mostly." "But I do sit in on a fiew English classes." "You're in art?" "." "Mm-hmm." "MFA." "Oh." "Applied Theory and Crit." "So, is this, like, a project, then, or" "No, I am just getting started on my thesis project now." "It's a big sort ofi installation... thingie." "[ Chuckles ] That's a good word, huh?" "." ""Thingie."" "It is." "Anyway, this is just..." "an idea I had." "You're cute." "I don't likeyour hair." "Thanks..." "I think." "No, you're defiinitely cute, butyou should-- you should do something with it, your hair." "Okay." "I-I'll try that." "[ Exhales ]" "Your relies late." "Yeah." "Typical." "Yeah, so doyou have to stay atyour station until they spell you, or" "Oh, no, no." "At punch-out time I'm supposed to get down there and do it." "They can really be pricks about that." "Oh, you should go, then." "[ Mutters ] Yeah." "Can I call you?" "." "What doyou want to call me?" "." "Um...just up..." "[Velvet Rope Clanks ] fior right now." "I mean, talk." "Maybe get crazy." "Um, take you to dinner?" "." "Okay." "Uh, sure." "Do they... allow you to do that here?" "." "What, eat dinner?" "." "I meant, hit on the patrons." "Uh, no." "They've got a pretty strict policy about that too actually." "But-- Ah." "The great equalizer." "" But." [ Giggles ] Exactly." "I'll take the risk." "Good answer, Grasshopper." "What?" "." "Kung Fu." "On TV?" "Remember when he was a kid, there was an old guy with flakey contact lenses" "Right!" "[ I mitates Chinese Accent ] Grasshopper." "[ Chuckles ]" "I don't reallywatch much television." "Yeah." "So, doyou want a number?" "Hmm?" "." "Oh, God." "Absolutely." "Oh, dang it." "I don't have a pen." "Me either." "Here." "What?" "Give me the jacket." "Hmm?" "." "Oh." "Uh" " Uh-- That's my own." "That's not part ofithe unifiorm." "That's mine." "Good." "Nowyou'll always have it on you." "[ Mutters ] 6-3-0" "Great." "Yeah." " So, I'll call you?" "." " Yeah." "It was nice to meetyou... again." "You too." "[ Chattering ]" "You can defiinitely tell." "You can." " Really." " I bet your firiends say something." "Twenty bucks." "[ Silent Stammering ] Okay." " I mean, I can't tell, so I fiigured" " That's becauseyou seeyou every day, shower, getting dressed" " So doyou." " I don't seeyou shower or getting dressed." "I meant everyday." "So far, anyways." "I know." "I'm kidding." "Oh." "[ Chuckles ]" "[Bell Tolling Melody]" "[Bell Tolls Twice ]" "I'd like that, though, ifi... you would." "What?" "." "Showering and..." "getting dressed, you know" "Both, ifiyou want." "Either." "Anything." "Any moment I can get with you." "That's what I'd like." "Ask and you shall receive." "So I'm asking, then." "[ Laughs ]" "Soyou shall be receiving, then." "PDA." "What?" "." "Public display ofiafifiection." "Oh." "I'm not used to that." "No?" "." "I don't mind." "Really?" "." "Nah." "Whose business is it?" "." "Ours, right?" "." "Kiss ifiwe want to." "Make love in a bathroom stall." "Who cares?" "." "I'd start with the administration." "Why should they?" "." "We're two adults." "We know what we're doing." "I think this is a bigger discussion than befioreJenny and Philip get here." "Whatever." "Oh, no, I mean" "I'd love to have it with you-- uh, the discussion." "And I agree... somewhat." "I understand." "No, another time we'll defiinitely discuss it." ""Another time."" "I'd rather do it." "[ Laughing ]" "We'll, let me go check the men's room." "[ Laughs ]" "You amaze me." "And you amaze me." "You do." "Look atyou." "It's just a littlejogging." "I'm very proud ofiyou." "Thankyou..." "[ Cockney Accent ] Henry Higgins." "What's that?" "." "That's from a book." "Well, it's a play actually." "Not the one we're seeing, though, is it?" "." "No, we're... seeing Medea." "Oh,yeah, right." "I read this as an undergrad." "I like it." "Should I be nervous?" "." "No, not too much." "I mean, unless we have kids." "Now, what about you?" "." "What about me?" "." "I don't know anything aboutyou." "Yes, you do." "I don't." "Not really." " Where am I firom?" "." " Illinois, near Chicago." " Sign." " Gemini, I think." " The twins, yes." " Does that mean thatyou have a split personality?" "." "No, it means I was born in June." "Ah." "Okay." "Anything elseyou wanna know?" "." "Why doyou like me?" "." " What?" "." " Whywould you like me?" "." "I'm not anything." "I mean" "Don't do that, okay?" "." "That's the only thing aboutyou I don't like." "Whatyou see in yourself or don't see." "[ Sighs ] Fuckin' insecurities." "Sorry." "Doyou like me?" "." "Ofi course." "And do I appear to likeyou?" "." "Huh?" "." "Yeah." "I mean, it seems like it, yes." "I do likeyou." "Do I seem to know my own mind?" "." "No question." "So don'tyou trust me, then, to know how I fieel?" "." "Yeah" " No, you're right" "I mean, don't worry about "why..."" "when... "what" is right in firont ofiyou." "Those are verywise words... firom someone with such a great ass." "Kiss me..." "Grasshopper." "[Woman ] Ah-ah-ah!" "PDA." "[ Giggling ]" "I don't think anybodywants to watch you kiss, Adam." "[ Chuckling ]" "Hi, guys." "Hey, Phil." "Hello." "Hi." "Hey!" "Evelyn, this is Philip." "Hello." "Hi." "And his fiiancée,Jenny." "Hi." "Hey." "So, should we grab our tickets?" "." "Adam, what's up with you?" "." "Did you lose weight?" "." "Um... a little, maybe." "No, it's-- He cut his hair or something." "That's it, right?" "." "Right." "Yeah, well, uh, both, sort ofi." "Huh." "Okay, so, let's, uh-- Come on." "Oh." "[ Snaps Fingers ]" "**[Rock] Come on." "**[Continues ]" "**" "** [ Continues, Volume Lowering ]" "[ Adam Chuckles ]" "So tell me this again." "You guys are gonna-- Underwater." "We're gonna get married underwater." "You gotta be kidding me." "Like in those Life magazine photos you see, orwhatever." "Is that, like, a..." "Califiornia thing?" "." "No." "We wanted to trysomething bold." "That oughta do it." "[Adam ] That is crazy." "Really." "So ifiwe want to attend, we have to" "[Philip ] Get in the tank with us." "You bet." " No." "Honey, I thought we said the guests" " U h, we haven't" "[ Laughs ] We haven't settled that part completely." "That is nuts." "No, I applaud you." "I think it is very bold." "Yeah, well, don't expect my buddy here to fiollow in our fiootsteps." "He's the least adventurous person I know." "[Evelyn ] Really?" "Absolutely." "Oh, and the marriage thing?" "Uh-uh." "It's not gonna happen." "Sorry." "[ Gasps, Laughs ]" "I don't know how manynights I listened to this guysay," "" Not me, man." "I'm never gettin' hooked." "No way, man."" "Well, well!" "Listen, don't encourage him." "My roomie doesn't need any more encouragement." "Former roommate." "You're gonna lookstupid in one ofthose wet suits." "[Jenny Laughs ]" " Hey, let's not be a party pooper, my firiend." "This could have been yours." "[Philip Chortles ] Oh, Phil, stop being" "Adam and I had a class together, and he never got up the nerve to ask me out." "I'm borrowing his pen, like, all the time-- hint, hint-- and he's this total monk the whole semester." "Anyway, Phil picks him up from class one day, sees me, and we went to mini golf that same night." "I cannot tell a lie." "I got the moves, God help me." "Whoo!" "God help all ofi us." "Well, like I said, I think it's great." "It's really amazing-- it is-- to fiind anybodywilling to take a risk these days, to look a little silly or dififierent or anything." "Bravo." "To people with balls." "To balls." "Long may theywave." "I'll tellyou what tooksome balls." "That museum thing a fiew weeks back, with the balls." "Did you guys read about that?" "." "Oh, Adam, ofi course you did." "You were supposed to be guarding it." "But, uh-- Evelyn, didyou hear about it?" " [ Whispers ] The penis." " [ Whispers ] Yes, I did." "Why are we whispering?" "." "Becauseyou don't say "penis" inJenny's house." "But we're at my place now, so we sing it firom the eaves." "* Penis, penis *" "Bar's closed." "Last call." " * Penis, penis *" " Nice." "Seriously, though, canyou believe that shit?" "Somebody with the gall to pull that kind ofi bullshit on our campus?" "." "Fuckin' burns me up." "Shh." "[Evelyn ] I'm an artist, so..." "Maybe we should-- I don't really have the same reaction as" "I mean, this isn't Berkeley." "What does that mean anyway-- " I'm an artist"?" "." "Mmm, nothing." "It means nothing really." "Just that I understand the impulse." "You what?" "." "Um, Evelyn, we shouldprobably" "No, no." "Wait, Adam." "I wanna hear." "What impulse?" "." "It's called vandalism." "Uh, does anybody want dessert?" "." "Hold on." "This is rich." "Go ahead." "Just that, um, I don't think it was just kids playing." "I think it was a sort ofi statement, a kind ofi" " Statement?" "." " Yeah, I do." "What kind ofstatement would that be?" "It was pornography." " Oh, no, it wasn't." " Yes, it was." "No." "Pornography is meant to titillate, to excite you." " Did you see a picture ofiwhat happened?" "." "[Philip ] We did,yeah." "Anddoes a penis exciteyou?" "I mean, just any old penis?" "." "Uh, you're fiunny, and that's not the point." "It's totally the point!" "How about you,Jenn?" "." "Did you like whatyou saw?" "." "Did it getyou hot?" "." "This is, like, uncalledfor, okay?" " All she said was" " I know what she said." "Why don't you let her speak?" "." "Did you wanna say anything else?" "." "Huh?" "." "Okay." "Then, look, all I'm-- I'm saying is that, in my opinion, it wasn't pornography, it was a statement." "Wow." "The postgraduate mind at work." "[ Clears Throat] You know, Istill don'tsee how that makes it a statement." " What do you mean?" "." " It's grafifiiti." "It would be a huge statement, especially fior a town like this." "Which "Take Back the Night" rally did you fiind her at, Adam?" "." "You're really the obnoxious type." "You know that?" "I mean, how long did you have to stomach this guy?" "." "Evelyn" "Anyhow, who knows what the person was saying by it." "We don't." "But I think it was a gesture, a kind ofi manifiesto, ifiyou will" "W-W-Wait." "I don't think a person's dick can be a manifiesto." "Uh-uh." "You can write a manifesto on yourthing, but your thing can't be one." "[ Nervous Chuckle ]" "I'm sure I read that somewhere." "See, you're just trying to be really" "Hey, I'm not trying to be anything." "Who the hell do you thinkyou are?" "." "A flew double dates, and telling me anything about who I am." " Un-fiucking-believable!" " Okay, this is getting a little" "Adam, you can really pick 'em." "Let's just fiorget the whole" "You are not gonna take his side in this, areyou?" "." "No." "Jesus!" "I'm just trying to get out ofihere with a touch ofi dignity." "I've got a test tomorrow anyway." ""Statement."" "Just shut the fluck up!" "Fuck right ofifi." "How would you know?" "." "I think she was making one." "So, that's my opinion." "[Purse, Coat Rustling]" "Jenny, thanks fior everything." "Yeah, how'd you know it was a girl?" "." "I don't." "I just said." "It's a guess-- what it was, where it was placed." "An educated guess." "Oh, you're not" "She's not trying to take a poke at my being an undergrad, is she?" "." "Okay, can we just stop this now, please?" "." "Adam, tell me she didn't just" "Hey, artiste, how did you know it was a woman who painted the cock?" "." "Very, very suspicious there." "You're such a prick." "Man, how doyou go on day afiter day?" "." "[ Chuckles ]" "Let's go." "Adam, are you coming?" "." "Yeah." "[ Stammering ]" "I'll meetyou out firont?" "." "I just wanna-- Okay." "You're very sweet." "Good luck." "[ Laughs ]" ""Good luck"?" "." "Hey, fiuckyou!" "Oh, come on, m-man!" "Where in hell did you meet that bitch?" "." "At the museum." "What, did she giveyou a haircut and a blow job, nowyou're her puppy?" "." "Phil!" "I'm not her puppy!" "The wedding sounds great." "[ Scofifis ]" "Really, it sounds" " Yeah." "You don't have to leave." "[ Sighs ]" "[ShutterClicks ]" "[ Shutter Clicks ]" "[ Whispering ]" "[ Whispering ]" "Wereyou... always like this befiore?" "." "So... you know." "Shy?" "." "Mm-hmm." "Just about the fiact that no one would ever sleep with me." "That's all." "Come on!" "No, seriously." "I mean, you're, like, I don't know, only the third person I've ever" "Really?" "." "Yeah." "I mean it." "And theywere both young." "I mean, I was too." "I wasn't, like, hanging out by a day care or anything." "It was during high school, mostly." "Hmm." "Soyou're sort ofi in uncharted waters here." "I don't wanna blowyour cover, but..." "I could kinda tell." "Yeah?" "." "Yeah." "Well, that's okay." "Nobody here at school?" "." "Well, nothing serious." "Dates." "Some close calls." "But not anyone, you know" "LikeJenny?" "." "No, no." "Areyou sorry you didn't ask her out?" "." "Hmm?" "." "I mean, ifi-- ifil wasn't in the equation." "Not really." "Hmm." "We just never got the right" "What" "[ Sighs ] I sort ofiblew that one." "Anyway, it's kinda weird talking about it now that" "That's okay." "You know, it's nice to see, every so ofiten, someone... gallant." "So, did you enjoy tonight?" "." "Uh-huh." "Dinnerwas great." "The trip into the city-- that was fiun." "I likeyour car." "I meant the perfiormance." "Oh, right, that." "Um-- [ Stammers ]" "Not really." "Well... that's all right." "That's fline." "Oh, no, it's not that I didn't enjoy it." "It was okay." "You didn't think it was amazing?" "." "I thought itwas amazing that the cops didn't bust in and stop her." "Oh, come on!" "How could you not fiind that moving, what shewas doing?" "." "Easy." "I mean, granted, I usually love it when a woman removes her tampon in firont ofi me." " Very sexy." " It's not supposed to be sexy." "I was joking." "You know that." "I mean,Jesus, it's an expression ofiherself as an artist, as a woman, a person." "I couldn't believe what I was seeing." "Me either." "You didn't get it." "That's all." "No, that's not true." "Wejust don't agree." "That's all." " I wanted to I i ke it." " Then why didn't you?" "." "Maybe because she was fiinger painting portraits ofi her daddy using menstrual blood." "She... is completely influential, totallyvanguard." "To me, it was nasty, it was private, and I fleit like it was something I wasn't supposed to be seeing." "She allowedyou to though." "She allowed you into herworld, into herwork, but in a highly theatrical way." "Exactly my point." "It's called theater, not therapy." "No, it's called perfiormance art!" " It's called her period!" " It's called your taste up your ass!" "[DoorOpens, Closes ]" "[Urinating]" "[Toilet Flushes ]" "[WaterRunning In Sink ]" "[ Water Off] [Door Opens ]" "Did we just have our fiirst flight?" "." "I think so." "Yeah, we did." "Cool." "Better mark it down in our diaries." "Yeah." "Hey." "We can do that-- flight." "That's good." "Why good?" "." "'Cause, um," "now we get to make up." "[ Chuckles ]" "[ Sighs ]" "Were you nervous befiore?" "." "I mean, about us with the video." "Oh, not really." "A bit." "Sure." "Yeah." "It's just, let's not watch it." "Okay?" "." "Do we have to do that?" "." "Not ifiyou don't want to." "Good." "'Cause I don't think I could get into that actually." "See, I'm totally dififierent." "I think everyone should see themselves doing it, and their firiends should see it too." "That's why the tape's going back to my place." "Don't be so firightened ofi everything." "I'm not." "I'm not firightened anyway." "I just don't think that's a thing other people need to see, ever-- my ass." "People like who?" "." "Philip?" "." "No, that's fline." "You can show him." "Areyou crazy?" "." "Why is heyour firiend?" "." "Oh, God, you don't wanna go over all that." "I just don't thinkyou need that kind ofi person in your lifie." "I mean, no one does." "It" " It may be a touch early to start dictating who my firiends are." "Yeah..." "I suppose." "[ Both Chuckling ]" "Boy, he really got under your skin, didn't he?" "." "Under, over, around." "I hate that kind ofi guy." "What kind?" "." "That kind." "Whatever he is, that's what I hate." "I'll let him know." "No!" "God, no." "Don't give him the satisfiaction." "And he'd take it too." "Believe me." "I don't know." "Maybe it would help him, you know, be better or something." "The only thing that would help him is a fiuckin' knifie through his throat." "Okay, I'm glad I don't have a pet rabbit or anything." "You know what I mean." "Um... no, not really." "I've just been around his type, that's all, and I don't like him." "Yeah, I got that part." "No big deal." "Right." "No, itwas the "knifie through the throat" part thatwas the big deal, I thought." "Oh, that's just an expression." "From where?" "." "Transylvania?" "." "No." "[ Giggles ]" "From the Scorned Girl's Handbook." "Oh, yeah, page 666." "[ Gasps ] You've been peeking." "You know what happens to peekers, don't you?" "." "Well, ifi they're deejays, they usually get asked to play " Misty" on the radio all the time." "Close." "No, I'll showyou." "Butyou have to do me a flavor." "What's that?" "." "Just... smile." "Smile into the camera... fior as..." "long as you can." "[ Sighs ]" "[Evelyn Moaning] [ Groans ]" "Jenny!" "Adam!" "Hi!" "Hey." "Hi." "Oh!" "So" "Thanks fior coming." "I appreciate it." "Ofi course." "How's it going?" "." "You know... okay." "Right." "Lots to do flor a wedding." "I bet." "Yeah." "Invitations to get out, arrangements to make." "Air tanks to filll." "[ Laughs ] That too." "Soyou guys are still going through with that, huh?" "." "That's what we're saying." " What doyou mean, "saying"?" "." " No, no, no." "We are." "It's what we're doing." "I just" "Jenny, what?" "." " I don't know." "I'm just, you know, worried." "Why?" "About what?" "." "What doyou think?" "Philip." "He's just, I don't know, being fiunny." " Funny how?" "." "J ust kinda fiunny odd." "Like nice." "Nice?" "Yeah." "You know, sweet?" "." "Now, I love him and all." "I do." "You know that." "But that is not the way I would describe him to people-- sweet." "Would you?" "." "I wouldn't exactly use his name and "sweet" in the same... short story." "And that's what's bugging me." "I mean, he's only been like this once befiore, maybe twice." "But defiinitely once, when we were fiirst going out and he was seeing somebody else." "You rememberthat?" "Yeah." "I do." "The other one." "The otherJenny." "Exactly." "I'd call and I could hear him fireeze up, you know, get allsort of... sweet, fiish around slowly until he fiigured out ifi it was her or me." "God, I used to hate that." "Maybe I'mjust making it all up,you know?" "I mean, my own insecurities and looking fior a reason to not" "Dive in?" " Take the plunge?" "." " Oh, God!" "Jump ofifi the deep end?" "." "Stop me befiore I" "Cute, but yes." "That might be it, but I don't think so." "I mean, I wanna get married." "I do." "Even ifiit is underwater." "And I love the guy, whether he's sweet or not." "It's just, I don't believe him now that he is." "Well, you got me." "Really?" "." "I mean, you don't know anything?" "." "Haven't fleit that?" "." "I only see him, like, once a week in our survey course, so it's not like I'm in the inner circle anymore." "I know." "I just thought that maybeyou'd tell me ifiyou knew something." "But I would tell you,Jenny." "I would." "Seriously." "Really?" "." "I think so." "I mean" " Oh, look, that's a lousy thing to pass on to a person." "And ifil did, you know, know something and then told you, you'd more likely hate me fiorever than be gratefiul." "Yeah, that's probably true." "Um, you could lie." "Feel firee." "No, you're probably right." "So that doesn't exactly make me want to come clean here." "Which I have nothing to come clean about, okay?" "." "Honestly." "It's just" "I-I just fieel that I would." "I-I do." "Because I think you're pretty amazing... ifthe, uh, truth be known." "[ Chuckles ]" "And you're almost married, so why shouldn't it be?" "." "Uh, the truth, I mean." "Thankyou." "Not a problem." "Anyway, that's all I know." "Which is nothing." "Okay!" "Hwah!" "[ Laughing ]" "I'm just being stupid." "Hey." "Ifiyou fieel it, it's not stupid." "[ Groans ] God!" "[ Giggling ]" "You're a lovely person." "You know that?" "." "" Lovely"?" "." "Jesus, why don'tyou just call me gay and get it overwith?" "." "Hey!" "Lovely is nice." "No, I wish there were a fiew more lovely people in the world." "I mean it." "You are." "And getting cuter by the day." "What is that girl doing toyou?" "." "Lots." "She's amazing." "Really." "What happened toyour glasses?" "." "Areyou wearing-- No!" "Adam!" "Are those contacts?" "." "Yep." "Contacts." "[ Giggling ] Oh, my God." "This firom the fiormer tape-around-the-nose-thingie champion." "That was only fior, like, a week!" "That one time!" "I know, but still, you gotta admit" "I do." "It's great." "I fieel better." "" Better." I mean, you're, like, this totally hot guy now." "No." "No, I mean, I always thought you were handsome befiore, but..." "I didn't thinkyou'd go in fior the makeover thingie." "[ Giggling ] Me either." "Who knew?" "." "Well, apparently she did." "You are still seeing her, aren'tyou?" "." "Oh, yeah." "She's" "You don't hold a grudge, doya?" "." "All she said that night" "Oh, God, I couldn't believe that!" "No, it was great." "No, truthfiully, it was." "I mean, Phil needed to hear everyword ofithat." "He did, too." "Hear it, I mean." "You know, he even said something afiteryou guys lefit." "I mean, not an admittance ofi guilt, exactly, but as close to one as we're likely to hear firom the guy." "Really?" "." "What'd he say?" "." "I'm amazed." "As was I." "He put on quite the show." "I remembervaguely." "[ Chuckles ] They both did." "Anyway, later on he said something like," "" He could do worse."" "Not exactly a seal ofi approval." "No, but a lot fior him." "And afiterwhat she said?" "." "You're right." "Huh." "Hey, her middle name's notJenny or anything, is it?" "." "No such luck." "Whew!" "[ Giggles ]" "No, it's Ann." "Evelyn Ann Thompson." "It's nice, right?" "." "Eat?" "." "[ Giggles ]" "What?" "." "Eat." "Those are her initials." "The acronym ofiher name is E-A-T." "Hey, that's cute." "Oh, God, you're a goner." "I know." "It's pathetic, isn't it?" "." "Somewhat." "But lovely." "No, not that again!" "What the heck is this?" "." "What is this?" "." "What?" "." "Did you stop biting your nails?" "." "Yeah, fior, like, a month now." "Don't tell me she-- It's true." "She gave me some kind ofi crap to put on 'em, and that was it." "I just stopped." "You have nails!" "This is crazy!" "It's no biggie." "The whole time I've known you-- threeyears now-- your fiingers have looked like raw meat." "Anyway, awfiul." "And nowyou just quit." "This girl is the messiah." "I've quit befiore." "For, like, an hour." "I love this woman." "Me too." "Yeah, I can see that." "Wow." "And you'd really tell me ifiyou knew something?" "." "I would, yes." "Okay." "Geez, when did you get so cute?" "." "Whew." "[ Chuckles ]" "Shit." "Yeah." "[ Sighs ]" "What was that all about?" "." "[ Chuckles ] I don't know." "Uh, I'm not sure." "Look, I'm sorry." "No." "Don't be." "I am." "Uh, I'm the one with the ring on." "Yeah, it's..." "my firiend's ring." "Good point." "Thanks fior reminding me." "You're welcome." "Aw, dang it!" "Oh, no, listen, it wasn't because ofi, you know, myworries orwhatever, how I'm fieeling about Philip right now." "It wasn't." "Okay." "It just-- Happened." "Right." "I've wanted to do that fior a long time." "Threeyears." "Me too." "Now we take it down to the-- the beach and bury it." "Don't we?" "." "Yeah, we do." "Ofi course." "Um..." "don't you want to?" "." "Bury it?" "." "Yes." "Or" "No." "No, we can't talk about it." "Don't even say the" "God." "Do you have a shovel in your car?" "." "[ Nervous Chuckle ]" "Uh, I don't, no." "[ Both Chuckle Nervously]" "But..." "I have my car." "My bike's right over there." "Then it... should be fline ifiwe were to... go to the beach." "I suppose so." "Good." "[ Sighs ]" "Oh, come on." "We should go bury this." "On the beach." "[Man ] * Oooh, ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh*" "* Oooh, ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh *" "* Oooh, ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh *" "* Oooh, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh *" "* Oooh, ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh *" "* Oooh, ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh *" "** [ Fades ] What ti me did they say?" "." "1 0:3 0." "I t's 1 0:50 now." "No big deal." "You always wait at the doctor's ofifiice." "I know." "I just had to be at work by 1 2:00." "Today?" "." "Yeah, I told you that." "No, you didn't." "Yeah, I did." "I always workWednesdays." "Really?" "." "Yeah." "EveryWednesday." "Hmm." "It's okay." "I can be late ifil have to." "Areyou sure?" "." "Yeah." "I mean, they hate it, but I'll come up with something." "Orwe can go." "No." "I wanna do this." "I do." "[ Sighs ]" "I mean, w-whowouldn'twant to pay a lot ofimoney to get their nose chopped ofifi?" "." "[ Chuckles ] [Chuckles ]" "Well,you're onlytalking to them anyway." "That's all." "It's just weird to think-- People do it all the time." "Especially out here." "Right." "No, you're right." "You're right." " I just never imagined myself to be one ofi those people." " I'm one ofi those people." "What?" "." "You are not." "Take a look." "Where?" "I don't see anything." "Exactly." "You got your nose done?" "." "Honestly?" "." "Sixteen." "My parents' birthday present." "Thoughtfiul." "I asked fior it." "I had this terrible hook." "The Jewish slope, we called it in Lake Forest." "The only ski run fior miles around." "I can't believe it." "I can't tell." "That's the idea, isn't it?" "." "You could be lying to me." "What would be the point ofithat?" "." "To get me in here." "To watch chunks ofi my flesh get torn away." "You could be a sadist fior all I know." "Hey, quit sweet-talking me." "God, they did an amazing job." "Mmm." "Wait a minute." "Your name's Thompson." "That's notJewish." "On my mother's side, you dope." "That's what makes meJewish." "Her maiden name is Tessman." "Oh." "We don't have to stayhere, Adam." "No, it's okay." "It just makes me jumpy." "It's cosmetic, not corrective." "Lots ofi guys do it." "It's no big deal." "I promise." "Well, ifi it's cosmetic, maybe I should just put some powder on it." "You know, I thinkyou'll look great." "You have a good fiace." "A nice shape toyour nose, actually, but it'sjust got that bit of" "What?" "." "Bulb." "At the end." "I mean-- Well, not a bulb exactly, but more ofi a" "No, I get it." "Sort ofi a Rudolph efifiect." "[ Both Moaning ]" "PDA." "Indeed." "Shall I go check the men's room?" "." " I dareyou." " Shut up." "I'm serious." "Is this, like, mylast meal orsomething?" "A conjugal visit befiore I'm drawn and quartered?" "." "Stop being so morbid." "It's just flesh." "Yeah, I see whatyou mean." "It's just flesh." "[ Clicks Tongue ]" "That's not morbid at all." "It isn't." "You've bitten more skin off from aroundyourfingernails... than a doctor would ever trim offyour nose." "It's true." "How'd you get that scar on your back?" "." "Which?" "." "The-- Yes, the raised one." "A kid, um, threw a stick at me, fiirst grade." "Stitches?" "." "Yeah." "Thirty-three." "And is that terrible?" "." "Areyou disfiigured because ofiit?" "." "Well..." "I don't like to wear tank tops." "What's the matterwith scars?" "." "Not a thing." "Did you try to-- No." "Not really." "I mean, I cut on myselfi a little, tried to get attention when I was a teenager, but I didn't wanna slit myveins open." "So, is myarm unattractive toyou then because ofthose, ornot?" "No, not at all." "I love your arm." "It's beautifiul." "They're like rings on a tree." "They signify experience, make us unique." "I can see that." "And that's all this is." "The idea ofiyou having some surgery." "[ Moans ]" "It's an experience." "[ Sighs ] I know." "It just makes me-- What?" "Nervous?" ""It's a fiar, fiar better thing I do than I have ever done." [ Chuckles ]" "Something like that." "Is that firom a book?" "." "[ Laughing ] Yeah." "Dickens." "Ah!" "So... are you gonna go check?" "." "What?" "." "What, the restroom?" "." "Uh-huh." "What ifithey call my name though?" "." "Seriously." "What ifithey do?" "." "I smell trouble..." "Mmm." "which I may not be able to do afiter this." "Just go." "All right." "[Woman Chattering]" "Then I can showyou something." "What?" "." "Hmm?" "." "Oh, nothin'." "No, uh, just a little something I had done... fioryou." "Wait." "No." "Show me now." "It's a big religious no-no." "[ZipperUnzips ]" "Nice, huh?" "." ""Eat."" "Let me guess." "You couldn't afifiord the "me."" "No, you goofi." "[ Laughs ]" "It's your initials." "Doyou like it?" "." "I do." "I like it." "[Munching]" "[Philip ] I'm serious." "It looks good." "Just shut up." "Don't get here late and then make fiun ofi me." " No." "You look distinguished." " Phil." "I look like a hockey player." "Yeah, but a distinguished one." "What'd you do anyway?" "." "I fiell." "[ Laughs ]" "Come on." "What?" "." "Seriously." "I did." "You sound like a battered wifie." "[ MockWhimpering ] I fiell." "That's not fiunny." "[ Chuckles ] Yeah, it is." "It's very fiunny." "I mean, it's not that fiunny that wives get beat up, but the fiact thatyou look like one-- that I fiind hilarious." "Well, that's what happened." "I tripped, I fiell." "No big deal." "You really fiell?" "." "Yeah." "I, uh, tripped going up the-- You know?" "." "No." "What?" "." "The... thingie." "I hit the edge ofithe" "You know." "No." "It's "the edge ofithe" that I'm a little hazy on here." "The edge ofithe knob-- my doorknob." "You really tripped?" "." "Truthfiully?" "." "Yes." "God." "Huh." "Okay." "[Paper Wrapper Crinkling]" "Why do you say that-- "Huh"?" "." " What, you don't believe me?" "." " No." "I just" "I saw your girlfiriend the other day, maybe what, last Thursday." "You weren't in class." "I asked her ifyou were okay." "That's all." "Yeah?" "." "So?" "." "And she said yes, but you were recovering firom an operation or something." "What?" "." "That's what I said." "Then she said it wasn't really an operation, perse, just some thing you had done-- a "procedure."" "That was it." "So Ijust thought, No." "I don't know, whatever." "I" "I hurt it." "Really." "I hit it" " You know, I banged it up pretty bad at home." "So I had the doctor take a look at it, but he didn't operate or anything." "So where'd you see her?" "." "I don't know." "Starbucks or somewhere-- the mall maybe." "She doesn't drink cofifiee." "So it was downtown then." "Record City, I think." "Wh-What, you worried I'm gonna steal her?" "." "No." "God." "Don't be so-- Believe me." " [ Mufifled ] Ugh!" " Anyway, it's gonna be fline." "Well, that's good to hear." "Yeah." "And, uh, you'd tell me ifi there was anything seriouslywrong." "Ofi course." "Hey, what's up?" "." "I mean, we're firiends, right?" "." "You'd come to me." "About what?" "." " Phil, what's" "Jenny told me." "Jenny told you what?" "." "She kissed you." " Oh." " She fleit shitty, I guess." "I could tell fior, like, a week somethin' was goin' on." "And then finally she toldme about it." "She did." "I mean, she did do that, but it-it was nothing." "No." "I don't mean nothing, no." "Uh, it meant nothing." "It didn't hold any meaning fior us." "For "us"?" "." "Okay, so you can speak fior her then?" "." "Itjust happened." "For me." "It didn't fior me." "It was just a" "[ Voice Breaking ] And that's all she said?" "." " Don't tell me there's more." " No." "God, no, not at all." "No." "It's all right." "I'd been acting weird lately." "This whole... marriage idea is just fireaky, so" "It's my fiault, I guess." "Sorry." "It's better than me having to kiss you." "[ Chuckles ]" " Good point." " No tongue, right?" "." " Oh,Jesus!" " I'm just asking." "No." "Please." "Well, I got a 3:1 0." "[ZipperZips ]" "So long, Romeo." "Where's yourjacket?" "." "What?" "." "Okay, this is, uh..." "too much." "The cord jacket?" "." "The lumberjacky-lookin' thing?" "." "I don't know." "Uh-huh." "And this, uh, Tommy Hilfiiger-ish job" "Where'd you come up with that?" "." "The mall." "I bought it." " What's the big deal?" "." " That's, like, a sailing slicker." "She likes it." "It's reversible." "Well, isn't that just neat?" "." "What I want to know is, do you like it?" "." "It's okay." "Uh-huh." "Let me askyou this." "Did you get to keep the cord job, or did she make you toss it?" "." " Who cares?" "." "God" " Huh?" "." "I threw it out, okay?" "." "Goodwill, actually." ""Goodwill, actually." It's no big thing." "Dude, don't just say "no big thing."" "I begged you to throw out the fiarm coat our fireshman year." "I mean, you lost both ofi us a lot ofi dates with that thing on, okay?" "." "You've had it since, like, birth." "All right?" "." "So do me a little flavor." "Let's not pretend that the jackie and the, uh, weight..." "Ow!" "and theJon Bon Jovi hair are no big thing." "Ow!" "Don't!" "'Cause when it comes to routine, you used to be, like, Mister goddamn Rogers." "It's a fiuckin' jacket, Phil!" "Just lay ofifi." "Go to class." "Uh-huh, fline." "Fine." "I just hope the next time we pass each other, I recognize who the hell you are." "Oh, yeah?" "." "Well, ifi not, you and Evelyn can always head over to Record City and have a chat." "Hey!" "I wouldn't get too deep into the moral issues during this particular conversation." "Okay, Romeo?" "." "I may have a big fiucking mouth, but at least I keep it to myselfi." "[ Both Grunting ]" "[ Muttering ] Oh!" "My" "Oh, is it time to go?" "Uh-huh?" "Fine." "So long, matey!" "Ow!" "You've got my fiuckin' bag!" "Dude!" "Seriously, I've got class!" "** [Loud Rock ] ** [ Wailing]" "** [ Continues ]" "* Oh *" "** [ Wailing]" "[ People Chattering]" "So, everything's good?" "." "Yeah." "You know, okay." "Hmm." "You?" "." "Oh, pretty great, actually." "J ust studying, working on my art." "Right." "You've got that big thing thatyou're doing." "Mm." "Thesis project fior my degree." "And it's going well?" "." "Yeah." "What was it again?" "." "I never said." "Oh." "Well, that's why." "Right." "It's this sculpture..." "thingie." "Nice." "[ Chattering ]" "I thinkwhatyou've donewith Adam-- it's really great." "What I've done?" "." "Well,just, you know, he's changed." "That's right." "He's changed." "Ofi course." "I didn't mean thatyou" "I know." "I'm just saying, he did the work." "Right." "[ Clears Throat ] Well, that's always what they say, though, isn't it?" "." "[ Chuckling ] What?" "." "Who are "they"?" "." "You know, like in Cosmo, when they have those tests asking you what you'd like to change about your guy." "Ah, now you're gonna get all scientifiic on me." "It's true, though, isn't it?" "." "I mean, almost everyone I've ever gone out with, ifiyou could alterjust one thing about them or... even to get them to stop wearing sunglasses up on their head all the time, then they'd be perfiect." " Well, it's that sort ofi deal, isn't it?" "." " Something like that." "Or it could just be that I care about him." "Hmm." "Well, Phil's got, like, six ofithose "one things," but it's the same idea." "Right." "Andhowis oldPhil?" "Well, he's Phil-- six things away firom being amazing." "[Bell Dings ]" "Hey." " Hey, Evelyn." " Adam." "Hi." "Jenny." "I didn't know that you" "I invited her." "Oh." "Uh-- I like your new jacket." "Phil told me about it." "Oh,yeah." "It's, uh, new." "And your nose-- My God, are you okay?" "." "Ofi course." "It was nothin'." "Falling down is not nothing." "[Adam Chuckles ]" "It looks okay though." " Anyway, uh" " Anyway, pull up some floor." "We... got you a juice." "You don't drink cofifiee." "It's not." "It's decafi." "It's still cofifiee." "Good point." "So I drink cofifiee." "Then I just don't like the cafifieine." "Mm.Jennywas just saying that she thinks you're great." "I mean, doing great things with yourselfi." "Yeah?" "." "Thanks,Jenny." "She thinks you'rejust about perfiect now." "Don'tyou,Jenn?" "." "I didn't say that." "No." "It's true." "I'm exaggerating." "She said-- and I paraphrase" ""He's changed," but she implied fior the better." "Oh." "Well, I agree." "I have." "And again, thankyou." "You're welcome." "I thinkyou've changed too, Adam." "A lot." "Yeah?" "." "How's that?" "." "Well, you've gotten cuter... and stronger, more confiident and, um... crafitier." "Crafitier, huh?" "." "Apparently so." "Oh, that spill you took must have done it." "[ Sighs ] I'm sorry." "Am I missing something here?" "." "I'm not sure." "Evelyn, what's up?" "." "Nothing." "Not a thing." "Well, sometimes it's hard to read me, you know, know when I'm joking." "Very hard." "It is, but I am...joking." "I mean, Adam took a bad fiall and smashed his nose, but he's okay now." "See?" "." "It healed well, don'tyou think?" "." "Yes." "Uh, doyou guys want a salad or something?" "." "I'm hungry." "I'm fiine.Jenny?" "." "I'm okay." "Hungry?" "." "Your nose looks-- How much weight haveyou lost?" "." "Not that much really." "Twenty-one pounds." "Ipeeked." "Is that all right?" " "Peeked"?" "." " His journal-- a record ofi his progress that he's keeping." "Really?" "Oh, that's so cool." " Cosmo story in the making, huh?" " Yeah." "Okay, I'm, like, totallylost here." "You're mentioned in there too, Jenny." "Where?" "." "Adam'sjournal." "I mean, it's a veiled entry, but I think it's you." "Evelyn." "I peeked twice." "You're right next to someone known as "cute waitress." [Jenny] Whyis that?" " I mean, Adam?" "." " You're not." "[ Stammering ]" " Something about a meeting and a drive afiter in your cute little "V-dub."" " What areyou saying?" "." " It's getting pretty late." "I really need to get go" " Don't go." "Why areyou doing this?" "." "I just want to talk about the kiss." "Whycan't we do that?" "This is inappropriate, okay?" "." "[ Whispering ] Did you tell her?" "." "No." "No, no." "He didn't." "Philip did." "We met, and he told me all about it." "The rest I got from loverboy's diary." "She's making that up." "Wait." "Philip told you about our talk?" "." "When?" "." "What else did he tell you?" "." "Lots ofithings." "He's a very chatty guy when you... wind him up." "I can't believe it." "Evelyn, let's just drop it, okay?" "." " Ifiyou're angrywith me, all right, but this is not" " We're just talking." "Fine." "You wanna-- Go ahead." " I mean, Adam wrote something in hisjournal, obviously." " I didn't!" "What do you wanna hear?" "." "We kissed." "No." "No, no." "I" " I knew that." "I'm sorry." "I've confiused you." "I meant about my kiss..." "with Philip." "What?" "." "That's bullshit." "No." "That's getting even." "Unless you guys have something else you want to tell me about-- meaning the drive." "You didn't meet Phil." "Ask him." " He would have told me." " Apparently not." "I'm going." "I'm going now, okay?" "." "I'll, uh, seeyou." "You guys are still coming to my showing, right?" "." "[Footsteps Departing] Well... you said you would." "[Bell Dings ]" "Okay." "That was horrible." "Oh, I don't know." "I could've told her about the blow job I gave him." "Kidding." " You had no right to make her fieel that way." " She's got a boyfiriend who's shit." " Now she knows." " It was still wrong to treat her like that." " And me." " Yeah, let's talk aboutyou." "She called me, okay?" "." "She wanted to get together and, you know, talk about Phil, and then" "And then you made out." "Most natural thing in the world." "It was a mistake, okay?" "." "I know that." "I just want the truth." "I told you what I did." "You think I wanted to kiss that guy?" "." "I only did it fior the efifiect." "I'm askingyou, Adam." "What else happened?" "I deserve to know." "Nothing." "You're sticking with that?" "." "Oh, and glad to hear aboutyour trip." " See you next fiall." " What was I supposed to tell him?" "." " The truth!" " Wh" "Come on." "Look, I took shit about my new jacket." "That's all people say to me anymore." ""What's up with you?" "What's goin' on?"" "I can't exactly spread it around what I've done." "What?" "." "You fiell." "What are we doing here?" "." "Areyou tired ofi me?" "." "Is that it?" "." "God, no!" "I don't get it." "I don't want to sound old-fiashioned here, but... you're a step away firom fiuckin' around on me." "I would never do that." "Ifiit hadn't been her, ifi it'd have been... oh, say, that cute waitress the other night." "You didn't think I caught that, didyou?" "The chatty chat and the extra three bucks on the tip." "That was nothing." "It's never anything..." "until it's something." "Geez!" "Next you're gonna tell me that the handkerchiefiwith the strawberries on it is missing." "I don't know that refierence." "Evelyn, please." "Evelyn." "I'll do anything you want." "I know what I did was wrong." "I do." "I messed up." "Sojust tell me what to do, and I'll do it." "I just" " I don't-- I don't wanna lose you." " You're sure?" "." " I am so sure." "I love you." "Anything I say?" "." "Anything." "Give them up... as firiends, both ofithem." "Huh?" "." "No explanation." "Don'tsee them orspeak to them again, not ever." "That's what I want." "That's to prove to me about how you fieel." " And ifi I don't?" "." " Well, um, I pretty much let these things end." "Final answer?" "." "I choose you." "You choose well..." "Grasshopper." "[People Chattering]" "[ Sighs ]" "Adam." "[ Chuckling ]" " Ahoy." " Phil." "How's it goin'?" "." "So... what, you don't take my calls now?" "." "What?" "No, I-- It's all right." "I understand." "The whole..." "[ Mumbling ] thing." " [ Sighs ]" " I've just been busywith work and all." "[ Scofifis ] Yeah, whatever." " Well, I should probably grab a seat." " Hold up." "Hey." "Where's the fire?" "What?" "." "No." "I" "No." "I just want a... good spot and" "So, where'sJenny?" "Funny." "What?" "." "Man, come on." "We broke up, broke it ofifi-- whatever." "You knew that." "No." "I" " When?" "Like, two weeks ago, right afiter" "You know." "You and Jenny-- I can't believe that." "Believe it." "She came over one day afiter seeing you guys, I guess." "That was it-- the ring ofifi, took her CD's back-- gone." "I'm sorry." "I mean, I was lookin'to get out." "You know that." "But once you start makin' those plans, you know" "like pickin' out napkins and shit-- it's almost easier to just do the thing." " I don't know what to say." " Don't worry about it." "You haven't seen her lately, haveyou?" "." " No." " Okay." "Well, this ought to be good, huh?" "." "[ Scofifis ]" "[People Chattering]" " [Adam ] Jenny." " Adam." " Hey." " Hi, Phil." "I'm sorry... about you guys." "Boy, you just can't keep anything to yourselfi, can you?" "." "Well, everyso often, I guess." "Right?" "What?" "." "You never change." "That's what." "[ Sighs ]" " Oh, and, Phil?" "." " Yeah?" "." "You don't really need sunglasses indoors." "[ Sighs ]" " What is she" " It's not, like, totally ofifiicial yet." "Fuck." "What areyou gonna do?" "." " Well, we should probably fiind a place too." " Let's grab two close to the exit." "Oh, maybe we shouldn't" "You know,Jenny and" "Whatever." "Take care, man." "[ Chattering ]" "[ Chattering ]" "Could I-- Mm-hmm." "[People Shushing] [ Chattering Dies Down ]" "Good afiternoon." "Thankyou fior coming out today." "It's the middle ofi Stop Week, and I'm sure this is not... how most ofiyou studying fior fiinals... would choose to spend your time away firom campus-- on campus." "[Chuckling]" "The accompanying visual portion ofithis graduate thesis project... is currently available in the exhibition gallery across the way, so ifiyou don't stay today fior... punch and cookies, um... please stop by and take a look atyour... convenience." "[Yawning]" "Okay, that's the boring stufifi." "Oh, I almost forgot." "And this is fairlypersonal-- probablyshouldn't even do it-- but it really is the capper to my time here at Mercy, so please indulge me." "I was given an engagement ring..." "two days ago, and I haven't really answered the guyyet." "So I wanted to do it today." "Here goes." "This is a beautifiul stone... and an amazing gesture on your part... fior many reasons." "By the time I'm through here," "I promise that you'll haveyour answer." "[ Murmuring ]" "Mygraduate advisorgave me this advice five months ago." ""Strive to make art, but change the world."" "And so, being a good little student, that's what I set out to do." "With that in mind, I present you with my newest work." "It is a human sculpture... on which I've worked these past 1 8 weeks... andofwhom I am veryproud." "The piece itselfis untitled, since I think" " I-I hope-- it will mean something dififierent to each ofiyou... and, firankly, anyone who sees it." "[ Whispering ] Can I get a spot-- [Switch Clicks ]" "I did the MTV thing here on the fiace." "This is a "befiore" picture that I had a classmate take ofi us... nearthe Pizza Hut out bythe highway." "[Scattered Chuckling] That was ourfirst official encounter... after he asked me out at his place ofwork-- a big no-no, or so I was told." "And it was here that I coaxed hi m i nto eating his fiirst vegetarian meal." "[ Chuckles ] Well, as vegetarian... as a spinach-and-mushroom calzone can be." "He also had a salad." "Anyway, he told me that, fior him, it was a huge deal... and it does mark the beginning ofimy systematic makeover-- or sculpting, ifiyou will-- ofi my two very pliable materials ofi choice" "the human flesh... and the human will." "[Audience Murmuring] [Footsteps Departing]" "But this, I'm afraid, was not done out oflove or caring... or concern." "This was a simple matter of," ""Can I i nsti I I 'X' amount ofi change in this creature... using only manipulation as my palette knifie?"" "[Woman Gasps ]" "I made sure that nothing was ever fiorced... during our sessions or sittings together" "I-I can't really say theywere dates, not on my part, although the illusion ofi dating was imperative-- and that his firee will was at the fiorefiront ofi each decision." "I made suggestions, presented the illusion ofiinterest and... desire, but never said, "You must do this."" "Not once." "Anyquestionsyet?" "I found that with the right coaxing-- yes, coaxing, often ofa sexual nature and often in verypublic arenas, I'll admit" "I could hone the i nside ofi my scul pture... as well as the surfiace." "Now, I fiound myselfi... suddenly creating strong moral ambiguity... where I could detect only the slightest traces befiore, ofiten in direct proportion to the amount ofi external change." "This means, as my subject became handsomer... and fiirmer and more confiident, his actions became more and more... um... questionable." "Against medical advice, he had work done to his fiace... andinsisted to those aroundhim that he had..." "What?" "." "merelyfallen down." "He also started to deceive his friends-- and myself-- with greater abandon during this period... while showing increased interest in other women." "[ Si ghs ]" "I ndeed, he had relations with his best firiend's fiiancée... and continues to withhold details about the incident firom us... to this day." "Moreover, he was willing to give those friends up when asked-- walk away without any fiurther contact... afiter said encounter" "leading me to an assumption ofi fiurther wrongdoing... with the young woman in question." "This is fiucked!" "[Audience Murmuring]" "I call this act morally questionable... because it seems to be motivated, in my mind at least, as much out ofi guilt as genuine fieelings fior me." "He has then, as I see it, been completely... andtotallyrefashioned as a person." "Andyet, open anyfashion magazine, turn on any television program, and the world will tell you he's only gotten... more interesting, more desirable, more normal." "In a word, better." "He is a living, breathing example... ofi our obsession with the surfiace ofithings, the shape ofithem." "Not bad, huh?" "." "This was a completely..." "startling and... unexpected turn ofi events, but... obviously, I can't accept." "You can examine the stone andsetting further... when it's placed in the exhibit." "As for me, I have no regrets, no fieelings ofi remorse fior my actions, the manufiactured emotions-- none ofi it." "I have always stood by the single andsimple conceit... that I am an artist, onlythat." "There is... only art." "[ Audience Murmuring ]" "[ Door Opens, Closes ]" "Now, you may hold a dififierent opinion, fieel dififierently." "I welcome that." "Dififierence is good, great, vital even." "Only indififierence is suspect." "Only to indififierence do I say..." "[ Microphone Echoes ]" "[ Hushed ] fiuckyou." "[Audience Murmuring]" "[ Microphone Feedback]" "With that in mind, I ofifieryou my untitled sculpture... and supporting materials today." "Thankyou." "[Audience Chattering]" "[Bell Tolling]" "Not a big modern art crowd, I guess, huh?" "." "Hey." "Glad you stopped by." "I can't really show my fiace in the streets, so it seemed logical." "Look, Adam, I know that" "Please..." "just referto me as "it".." "or, uh, "untitled."" "It'll help me keep some perspective here." "I know that this a lot foryou to take in and everything, but I" "Uh-huh, yeah." "I got a I ittle Gregor Samsa thing goin' right now, so, uh" "I know my work relied on not telling you what was going on." "Sorry." "You're sorry." "That's great." "I fiigured I was really gonna have to work to get that one out ofiyou." "Oh, I'm notsorry, not forwhat I've done." "I just fieel bad that you're so upset." "[ Stammering ] Screw you!" "You have screwed me, a lot." "You wanna watch it?" "." "J ust pull up a chair." "Shit." "You are seriously fucked up." "I mean it." "Listen toyourmouth, Adam." "You never used to talk like that." "Oh, you're gonna take credit fior that too, huh?" "." "No." "You picked that up all on your own." "Cute guys always have potty mouths." "They think it makes them cuter." "Oh, yeah?" "Tell me how cute this one is then." "Fuckyou!" "[ Gasps ]" "You heartless cunt." "[ Laughs ]" "So tell me then." "Go ahead." "You fieel that way about me." "You can tell me what I did wrong." "Ifl did something wrong." "You don't see this as wrong?" "." "You honestly have no concept here." "Ifiyou hadn't been here today, hadn't heard all this stufifi, wouldn'tyou still be happy-- waiting at home forme, hoping this went well, wanting to make love?" " That's not the point." " Yes, it is." "It's the total point." "All that stufifiwe did was real fioryou." "Therefiore, it was real." "It wasn't fior me." "Therefiore, it wasn't." "It's all subjective, Adam-- everything." "I'll tellyousomething real." "Ishouldsueyourass." "You could try." "I did take that risk." "Yeah." "That's right, you did." "[Footsteps Echoing]" "What's this doin' here?" "." "It was only flour bucks at the Goodwill." "Whywould you buy that?" "." "Just so I'd have it-- all ofiyou." "Fine." "What the hell?" "." "It can't get anyworse." "Ifiyou get ofifi on showing people my old socks... and scuzzy sheets, go fior it." "[ Cup Clatters ] I don't "get ofif" on it." "This is mywork, Adam." "I'll give you backwhateveryou want as soon as I get my grade." "The ring would be nice." "[ Voice Breaking ] It was my grandma's." "I'll take care ofiit." "Good." "Hard fieelings?" "." "Me?" "No." "We had some fiun, right?" "." " Yeah." " Oh, but, hey, that's subjective." "Exactly." "But do me a favor?" "Don't fiool yourselfi and think that this is art." "Okay?" "." "It's a sick fiuckin' joke, but it's not art." "Is that right?" "." "Prettymuch,yeah." "And ifI'm wrong about that" "I mean, ifi I've completely missed the point here, and somehow puking up... all your own shitty little neuroses all over people's laps is actually art, then you ought to at least realize there's a price to it all." "Wow." "Okay, so... you're saying..." "I should be a better person?" "." "[ Laughs ] I mean, is that it?" "." "That's the nutshell, yeah." "Betterlike...you?" "[ Scofifis ] No." "Just better." "Oh." "Tell me, though, just one thing." "Yes?" "." "Was any ofi it true?" "." "The, uh, nosejob... or Lake Forest?" "." "Your mother's maiden name?" "." "One thing you ever said to me?" "." "[ Hushed ] No." "And the scars are" "That was another project." "I got it." "Sorry." "[Footsteps Departing]" "I should, uh, [ Snififles ] probablyget going." "Areyou coming?" "No, not yet." "Don't worry." "I'm not gonna mess up your stufifi." "No spray paint." "That one time... in mybed one night whenyou leaned over... and whispered in my ear-- remember?" "." "And I whispered back to you." "I said that I" " I remember." "I meant that." "I did." " Yeah?" "." " Yes." "Oh." "[Footsteps Departing]" "[ Mufifled Sob ]" "**" "* Who driesyour eyes asyou cryreal tears *" "* Who knows or cares what an imitation is *" "* Onlyyou do *" "* You can paint his nails make him wear high heels *" "* Why waste time altering' the hemline *" "* Or do you *" "* Tear offyour own head*" "* Tear offyour own head*" "* It's a doll revolution *" "* You can batyour lashes You can cutyour strings *" "* You can pull his hair with your moveable fingers *" "* It looks so real *" "* But one won't do it so collect the set *" "* Dress him in pink ribbons Put him in a kitchenette *" "* How does this feel *" "* Tear offyour own head*" "* Tear offyour own head*" "* It's a doll revolution *" "* What's that sound It'll turn you around*" "* It's a doll revolution *" "* They're takin'over and they're tearin' it down *" "* It's a doll revolution *" "* You can pull and pinch him till he cries and squeals *" "* You can twist his body till it faces backwards *" "* Plastic features *" "* You could make somebody a pretty little wife *" "* But don 't let anybody tellyou how to live your life *" "* Broken pieces *" "* Tear offyour own head*" "* Tear offyour own head*" "* It's a doll revolution *" "* Tear offyour own head*" "* Tear offyour own head*" "* It's a doll revolution *" "* Tear offyour own head*" "* Tear offyour own head*" "* It's a doll revolution *" "* Tear offyour own head*" "* Revolution *" "* Revolution *" "* Tear offyour own head*" "* Revolution **"