"Previously on "weeds"..." "I've been shot." "Are we sure this is the way to the hospital?" "We ain't going to no hospital." "We got our own guy --Dr.Tupelo." "Dumb name will know my wrath --the wrath of doug." "What kind of man tears a crossoff the roof of a church?" "An impressive one,I'm guessing." "That's a big fucking cross." "I need to rentyour empty house." "We need a grow house." "How the hell did that crossget in there?" "Doug snuck it inon sanjay's shift." "I'm thinking of opening upanother supply line." "There's this biker chickthat andy wants to fuck and a guy named chess." "Let me show youwhat I got for you." "You're gonna bea loyal customer." "This weed sucks." "This is inferior product." "I don't think our businessarrangement's gonna work out." "And why's that?" "My customersdon't seem to like your product." "You weigh the pros and the cons,and I'll be in touch." "Three guys on motorcyclespulled me out of the car, they saidthey're coming after you." "They're coming afterall of us." "How many motorcyclesin pittsburgh?" "I don't know." "I need to look it up." "Who are you talking to?" "Dad." "Weeds Season03 Episode14" "We've got to hit them back." "No way we can let them get away with this shit." "Okay." "Calm down." "Let's get you looked at first." "How's that arm doing?" "Hurts like shit." "Well,try not to move it so much." "Okay." "Either of you armed?" "Broken-armed." "I'm going to need a $500 cash deposit." "We only accept american currency,and we no longer barter." "Good ol' american green." "Okay." "Dr.Tupelo will see you now." "He's gonna be fine,right?" "How much can you move the arm?" "Not broken." "And the head wound -- it looks a lot worse than it is." "Don't you want to x-ray him or something?" "Ma'am,if you'd like a second opinion," "I could call my buddy over at cedars." "He'll order up an mri,it'll run you at least 10 grand, and he'll tell you the same thing." "System's broke,my friend." "I'm working outside of it." "I hear you." "How can we call ourselves a first-world country when we can't even provide basic healthcare for our criminals?" "How deep is that cut?" "Ah,six or seven stitches." "And I'm out of demerol." "Now,I'm gonna give you a topical." "A topical?" "Are you kidding me?" "Your boy looks like a tough young man." "He can handle it." "I'm fine." "Just do it." "Now I remember you." "You came in with u-turn and marvin." "I might have." "Yeah,took me forever to find that tiny, little bullet in the middle of that big,fat ass." "Charged him double." "Yeah,well,I'm hoping for a discount since we're foregoing the painkillers." "Still got to charge you for parts and labor,honey." "Any chance you're a shrink,too?" " Is judah here right now?" " Yeah." " Where is he?" " Behind you." "I don't know why I just did that." "Because he's behind you." "I don't see him." "He sees you." "Did you catch "the sixth sense" on cable?" "Do you see dead people?" "Am I dead?" "Jesus." " No,you're alive." " Okay." "What?" "I didn't say anything." "You tell him." "Tell who?" "Dad wants to saysomething to you." "What?" "Why don't youanswer him?" " Answer who?" " Dad." "Shane,if you'reputting us on," "I give youall the credit in the world for fully committing to this." "Kudos." "All right." "Bravo." "Answer dad." "Fine,what's he saying?" "He wants to knowwhy you let mom down, why you didn't takebetter care of all of us." "That's bullshit." "There must be a million wayswe can get those assholes." "I have no muscle." "I have no army." "I'm in heels,for christ's sake." "What the helldoes that mean?" "Okay... shane's not pretending." "He actually thinkshe's talking to judah." "It's very stephen king." "Where is he now?" "Uh,he's upstairswith judah." "And after hearing whatjudah's been saying to him," "I'm starting to think he mightactually be communicating with the other side." "Weird things happen when thesesanta ana winds start blowing." "No." "Andy,help me out here." "What the hell am i gonna do with shane?" "Take him to a shrink." "Should have done it years ago." "He's fucking nuts." "Silas,go put iceon your bruises like dr." "Tupelo told you to." "Taking him to a shrinkisn't a bad idea." "Oh,no?" "What if he starts talking about what his mommy doesfor a living?" "We just tell him to lie." "Wait,I guessthat defeats the purpose." "Why does everything haveto blow up simultaneously?" "It's not fair." "Hey,things could be worse." "You could be pregnant." "Bite yourmotherfucking tongue." "Relax." "How could you be pregnant?" "It's not likeyou're getting any." " Or are you?" " Shut up." " are you?" " Shut up." "Are you?" "Quit it." "Are you?" "Thank you." "Hi,there." "I'd liketo make a deposit." "$15,000?" "It's been a good month." "fill these out." "Bring them back." "What are they for?" "Well,one's for the irs,which demands we report any depositover $10,000 in cash." "The other's for the bank." "We like to keep internal records of any depositing cash over $5,000." "I'm not sure..." "I counted right." "Thank you." "Oh,my slip." "Hello?" "Sullivan groff speaking." "If you everwant to see your cross again,you better listen to meand do the right thing." "Who is this?" "It doesn't matter who this is." "What mattersis that you make right on all the promisesyou made to certain people, certain very important people." "Wilson... you piece of shit." "Shit." "Fucking radio barn!" "Shit." "Shit." "Of course." "We done planting,and rent ain'tdue for another couple of weeks, so what you doing here?" "I need to know what you do with all of your drug money." "I never realizedhow useless cash is -- can't deposit itin the bank, can't pay my billswith it,and my family is not goingto get their hands on it." "Sorry,I ain't traininganother white girl in the waysof the drug business." "Didn't turn outtoo good for me last time." "I'm your landlord,and if I can't handleall of this cash, well,there's justno incentive to rent to you." "Lord,help me." "Fine." "First off,you take out 20%,and you hide it -- furniture cushions,floorboards,up your snatch if you got to." "Never know whenyou're gonna need it." "No,trust me." "It's your savings account." "Now,it don't earnno interest,but there's nothinglike cold, hard cash when fate comes calling." "Okay,well,what about the other 80%?" "Take the rest,and you start a company." "What kind of company?" "You know what?" "Why don't you find yourselfan accountant that don't mindbending the rules and let him take careof it for you,hmm?" "You gonna leave meto my reading?" "Do you ever get scared?" "About anythingin particular?" "Getting caught." "Oh,no." "You got toput that out your mind." "It's like flying." "Sure,the planemight crash,but you got to getto where you're going fast." "So in the end,it's worth the risk." "We're gonna be friends." "Lord,help me." "What does he say to you?" "He likes the wayyou wear your hair now." "He does?" "But he's angry." "At who?" "All of us." " Oh,he is,is he?" " Yeah." "Well,tell him that's not fair." "You tell him." "He's here." "Oh,shane." "No,he's not." "He's dead." "You saw him." "You were there." "Please,don't do this anymore." "It's making me really sad." "Why?" "Don't you love him?" "I'll always lovethe memory of him." "What?" "He said he still loves you." "Shane,this is you talking,isn't it?" "No,it's not." "Don't be mad at me." "I'm not mad." "I'm " " I'm just scared." "She's mad." "Can I help you?" "Uh,hello." "I'm eve meriweather." "Good for you." "I'm going door-to-door." "We're trying to mobilizethe entire neighborhood to keep an eye outfor any suspicious behavior." "Suspicious behavior?" "You haven't seenanything strange,have you?" "No,I can't saythat I have." "Are you sure?" "Uh,what is it I'm supposedto be looking out for?" "Oh,why our cross,of course." " Someone stoleyour cross?" " Yes." "That isa damn shame." "Who would dosomething like that?" "Jews." "Well,I haven't seen it." "Haven't seen many jewsaround here,either." "Well,they're mostly urban." "You're new here." "Just moved in." "Oh,and you mustbe the wife." "And you must be?" "Eve meriweather." "Well,look at him." "Hello,baby." "Why are little black babiesalways so adorable?" "Why are white babiesalways so ugly?" "Sense of humor." "Well,you know what,thank you for dropping by, and,yes,if I see your cross,I will call the number." "See you all in church,I hope." "Sure." "Church." " Praise the lord." " Hallelujah." "I hate white idiots." "White idiotsnamed doug." "Wizard of OZ Munchkin Suicide" "Celia." "To what do I owethis horror?" "All right,save it." "I'm here on business." "I need a slimy,crookedaccountant with no scruples who will do anythingto make a buck, and,unfortunately,you're the only one I know." "What makes you think I wouldlift a finger to help you?" "How can I help you?" "You can set upa dummy corporation for me to funnel cash through." "You did it for nancy." "I like nancy." "Yeah,everybody likes nancy." "Everybody hates celia." "Time for everyone to come upwith a new narrative." "We like the old narrative." "Felt right." "Tough." "I'm noton the outside anymore." "I am part of this operationwhether anyone likes it or not, and I intendto get my fair share." "What?" "I really want to have sexwith you right now." "You do?" "I guess I must have some sort ofa castrating bitch fetish." "Yeah?" "I'm really hard." "Feel." "Well,don't waste iton me." "I'd sooner lose a legthan suck your dick again." "Set upthe corporation fast." "I have major bills to pay." "Ooh,hey,you are working for me now." "How aboutball busters,inc." "Yeah,whatever." "Work it out,bitch." "What are we waiting for?" "Where did you get this?" "Conrad had itat the grow house." "Does he know you took it?" "No." "We can't just stand aroundand do nothing." "They'll justhit us again." "Let me worry about it." "You're not the one that gotthe shit beat out of them." "You're right." "I wasn'T." "I'm also not going up againstan army of drug-dealing bikers with a 17-year-old boy, a flamboyant hindi queen,and a 4-foot-talljesus-loving pixie as my posse." "So what do we do,then?" "They won't let us deal." "We can't selltheir shitty ditch weed." "We're out of options." "I'll think of something." "You better do it fast,because the next cropof milf is almost ready." "Don't you haveother things to do -- go to the mall or something... be normal?" "Like it or not,this isa family business now." "Then let the head of the familyworry about it." "The headof the family's dead." "At leastthat isn't my fault." "Chess is mad,and whenhe's mad,he does stupid things." "Beating the shit outof a defenseless teenage kid is psycho." "Unfortunately,there's not muchI can do to stop him -- never has been." "Then what the hellam I doing here?" "I never wash my van." "You're herebecause of me." "No,no,no,no." "This romeo and juliet shitisn't working for me -- not if there isn't anythingyou can do to stop him." "I tried." "I really did." "You tell your brother if he ever touchesanyone in my family again,I will kill him." "Okay,maybe don't passthat message along, but just know in your hearthis behavior is unacceptable." "Call me?" "Yeah,maybe." "You herefor a date?" "No." "No date." "I need help." "You try home depot?" "Plenty of mexicans therethat can help you." "Not that kind of help." "I'm being shaken downby some bikers in the hills." "Yeah?" "I know them." "You know them?" "SeÑorita,I know everybody who tries to peddle shiting sunny L.A." "And I mean shit." "They grow garbage." "They are garbage." "They beat up my son." "They're threatening me." "So what do youwant from me?" "Protection." "And what do I get in returnfor this protection?" "My undying gratitude?" "How about in returnwe're partners?" "What kind of partners?" " 50/50 partners." " Half?" "Of everything." "Can I think about itand get back to you?" "No,you cannot." "Yes or no." "Deal or no deal." "Ahora." "What kind of protection would iget for half of everything?" "Oh,you gettotal protection." "No more shakedowns." "Anyone fucks with you,they fuck with me." "When they go down,they go down hard." " Fine." " Good." "You don't got to worry aboutthose biker pendejos anymore." "I'll take care of them." "What are you gonna do?" "Don't you worry,chelita." "What if theycome after me?" "They ain't gonnacome after you." "They're gonnabe thanking jesus cristo that they'restill breathing." "Then they're gonna get on those ridiculous maricónbikes that they ride and head to canada." "Then word's gonna spread thatyou're being protecting by me, and that's gonna allow you toconduct your business in peace." "I could use a little peace." "You'll have it." "And you tell your son no one's ever gonna messwith him again." "I believethis belongs to you." "You might want to try and hideit a little better next time." "How you get it?" "Silas took it." "He wanted me to use itto blow the bikers away." "Like your hero u-turn?" "Silas got a tattooon his ass,too?" "Will you let that goalready?" "Jealous conrad --so not sexy." "Should I becarrying this on me?" "What's going onwith said bikers?" "It's taken care of." "I went and boughtsome protection." "From who?" "Guillermo." "So we workingfor guillermo now?" "God damn,girl!" "You realize you just tradingone gangster for another?" "Yes." "I also realizethat I have no choice." "These things are gonnakeep happening to me." "If I don't haveany muscle behind me," "I won't be ableto do my business." "Like it or not,I'M..." "A...drug dealer." "There." "I said it out loud." "I'm a fucking drug dealer." "How much he ask?" "Half." "Half?" "I let my son be a part of this,and I couldn't protect him." "It was my fault." "I did what I had to doto protect my family." "And who protects usfrom guillermo?" "I can handle guillermo." "How,by fucking him?" "That is so not fair." "It's just that we in thistogether now." "You... and me." "And your boy guillermo." "Ain't thisthe fucking shit?" "The two garys up in the birddid some flyovers with the thermal-imaging camera, brought back some sweet shots." "Anything sexy?" "Two meth labs." "If the patriot act had tits,I'd buy it a steak." "Wait." "Go back one." "Zoom in." "Closer." "Who you calling?" "Majestic." "I read an articlein the paper about this cross of theirsthat got stolen." "I think I just found it." "Not our problem." "It's called moral duty." "Where's your respectfor the lord?" "Whose lord we talking about?" "Not mine." "If you ask me a cross that sizeis for a lord with a tiny dick." " What's going on?" " Fire." "Ooh,that's a big one." " Where is it?" " here" "It started somewherein the foothills." "Then it jumped the highway,and now it's right here." "The santa ana winds aren't helping matters." "The fire department is issuing voluntary evacuation orders." "Denise just called,said the fire startedin their grow field." "Someone torched it." "You wouldn't happen to knowanything about that,would you?" "What are we gonna do?" "Does that meanwe have to leave?" "What about the grow house?" "Nance,any ideas?" "Shane,ask judahif he has any suggestions." "Weeds Season03 Episode14"