"WEDDINGS AND OTHER DISASTERS" "That's me, the one who's crying." "My name is Nana and I'm not really crying, I'm overcome." "See those twwo at the altar ?" "Of course you do." "My little sister, Beatrice, and Alessandro." "..before God to celebrate your union..." "I'm what's euphemistically called "a single woman"." "In other words, a spinster." "Anywway, I'm misty-eyed because the kid I tutored in Latin is getting married." "My sister, lucky her, had plenty of men.:" "tall, short, dark, blond, rich, poor, Italian and foreign." "Younger, older..." "All of them nuts about her !" "I've only had twwo." "Both of the them were nuts, but not about me." "The first was in high school." "We managed to make out a few times and then it was over." "My other relationship was serious, it lasted 10 years." "Then Paolo, the man in question, told me he wanted to change his life radically." "From that moment on, my love life was put on hold." "But to explain why I'm here right now, we have to go back a month or so." "marcel, sweetie, I had a dream." "I'd better go write it down or I'II forget." "The last time I made love was 985 days ago." "Fuck !" "Good morning." "I'II help the lady." "Good morning." "Good morning." "I don't know what's wrong, it's stone dead." "Tried plugging it in ?" "I'm not stupid !" "Because last time..." " I'II call you when it's ready." " Okay, when will it be ready ?" "Okay." "Thanks." " But call me when it's ready." " Okay." "will you leave the bag ?" " Why ?" " To protect your laptop." "AII right." "Thanks very much !" "Goodbye." "Good morning !" "On Fridays, I have a set lunch date with my family." "For some reason, my parent's home suffocates me." "That guy sleeping peacefully is my father." "Hard to believe he terrorized generations of students who hated, loved, feared and respected him." "But nobody loved and hated him quite like me." "Dad !" " Has everyone left already ?" " We haven't even eaten yet." "I was up late last night." "It's the Estates-GeneraI." "A revolution !" "That moron engaged to your sister has convinced everyone that we need to become big producers." "Watch out !" "Never imply that you went to ask for something." "We're late, mom'II be livid." "Another thorn in my drab life.: my mother." "The beautiful lady at the head of the table." "Yes, she's better looking, slimmer, more elegant and relaxed than me." "She's perfect, she can do it all." "I suspect that her perfection has ruined my life." "No, I'm certain of it." "She used to be an actress, but now she's busy with our winery." "Bea, have you spoken to Bauer ?" "Why ?" "We've asked him to do a reading at the winery." "For the Girondino 2003 launch." "I introduced you to him." "I couId've asked him !" " What a drag !" " Me ?" "No !" "Bauer..." "He made a big deal out of it !" "He's an award-winning writer !" "You're lucky he's coming !" "We should've invited Wayne Newton." " Wayne Newton ?" " He has fans..." " Not eating ?" " I'm not hungry." " Don't you feel well ?" " I'm fine, thanks." "alessandro and I are calling off the wedding." "But you fixed a date !" "What's going on ?" "I'II be away for a month." "He can't organize everything on his own, poor thing." " No time to organize the wedding ?" " unbelievable, huh ?" "So what ?" "Get married when you return, if you still want to, right ?" "That's fine, isn't it ?" "I have to go to the States," "I have to finalize the schedule with the importers." " By Jove, how serious !" " Not a laughing matter." "It is, they're calling off a wedding because of a schedule..." "really ?" "Laugh then." " Excuse her, she's very tired." " Okay..." "Beatrice cancelled her wedding and you're off to play cards ?" " You could organize it !" " Me ?" "No." "Just hearing the word "wedding" makes me tense." " I'd be hopeless." " No, you'd be perfect !" "You've got plenty of time." " What do you mean ?" " Nothing, I just said..." "That I don't do shit all day long ?" "The bookshop and the tutorials are just bullshit, right ?" "I don't earn much so it's not real work." " Excuse me." " Where are you going, sweetie ?" "To tell Bea I can't help her out." "Uncle Duccio is a bachelor." "He went to school with dad and was mom's theatrical agent." "We call him uncle, but he's not." "Nobody knows about his interaction with the opposite sex, this secrecy has led to rumors that he's homosexual." "I've alwways thought he wasn't interested either way." "alessandro's the best thing in my Iife." "With all that's going on, I'm scared of losing him." "You won't lose him, I'II help you !" " really ?" " Yes." " You'II handle the wedding ?" "Thanks !" " Did I say that ?" "Sorry, I wanted to talk to you but it can wait." "No, darling !" "I've got some great news." " Nana's handling the wedding !" " really ?" "I didn't actually offer..." "We're getting married in a month !" " Great news !" " AII I need is the bridal registry... ..the favors, the catering..." "not much stuff." "I'm such an idiot !" "You could do it together." "What ?" "Me and him ?" "It'II be faster." "Right, honey ?" "well, it sounds doable..." " Is it a problem for you ?" " problems are for solving !" "What a great idea I had !" "Thanks, sweetie." "Let's tell mom, she was really upset." "Oh dear, what an idiot..." "Hi mom, hi Nana." "Leo !" "What are you doing here ?" "You should be in school !" "No, I'm not David copperfield !" "There's a strike." " What for ?" " Dunno." "Fascists, trade unionists..." "No one wants to work in this country." " I can't come to tonight's tutorial." " What ?" " Why not ?" " Beck's playing." " Who ?" " Beck !" ""Modern guilt", california, indie rock." "Never mind..." "See you later or tomorrow." " Who knows..." " Leo !" "Fasten your helmet, damn you !" "Sometimes I wonder what I'd do without him." "Some women my age are totally alone, they don't even have kids." "I'd be really depressed !" "In fact, I'II probably kill myself around 5:30." " You'II have to sub for me !" " Sorry !" " It's okay, don't worry." " I'm sorry, what a blabbermouth..." " No problem." " Sorry." " But you're not a normal woman !" " Thanks !" "I mean you're a woman who's made different choices." "Don't worry, it really isn't a problem !" "Let's put the books in order." "Look, it's the new cover for Bauer's book." "Nice, huh ?" " My dear..." " Oh God." "See ?" "For those of you who don't know, this is Sergio Bauer.:" "novelist, poet and worker." "He even played chess with Subcomandante Marcos in a game that lasted four days." "I attended his fascinating creative writing course and was struck by the character of this scholarly man." "I'm doing research for his next book." "There's just one snag.:" "when he talks, I lose all ability to reason for myself." "I'm spellbound." "It doesn't help our working relationship." "I saved you a place." "What happened to you ?" "You vanished." " Why are you late ?" " Take off those glasses." " Can you sign this ?" "Benedetta." " lovely Benedetta." "Thanks." "Oh dear !" "He's got great legs too !" " Go !" " Give me a second." "I'd Iike to give you some of my poems." "You should only write one book in your life." "Inspiration soon dries up." "But you..." "Now everyone wants to write, paint, and make films." "And poets..." "we're under siege by poets !" "Under siege !" " Now excuse me, I have to go." " Sure." "Sorry for the rant, but it's a really bad moment." " I'd sooner shoot myself." " No, no !" "I wouldn't rule it out." "If I don't die first..." "Bye." "Giovanna, you were going to give me some of your stuff to read !" "Yes, but it's just scribble !" "I'm nearly at the station and my train leaves in 10 minutes." "Send it via e-mail and I'll read it." "We'll discuss it, okay ?" "Okay, but my computer's down, can I post it to you ?" "Oh God." "Come here sweetie, mommy hasn't abandoned you." " What about the concert ?" " What a stink !" "Is it you ?" "I'II go change." "Get the books and we can study." " What a drag !" " Hi Nana !" " You buy cookies ?" " I didn't have time." " Anyway, the store's downstairs." " So you go later ?" "I go get some rest." "Another of life's little presents.:" "Sven Kullberg." "A so-called Dogma director who's never even held a camera." "He eats nonstop and has developed an obsession with Oprah." "So, what's on the agenda ?" " This poem by thingummy..." " Thingummy ?" " Leopardi." " Oh Leopardi, "To silvia"." " Go ahead, read it." " Me ?" "Then we'II understand if you understand." " I don't understand." " Go on, read." ""silvia, do you remember the moments in your mortal life, when beauty still shone in your sideIong, laughing eyes, and you, light and thoughtful, went beyond girIhood's limits ?"" "A cinch:" "silvia was a babe when she was young." "Go ahead." ""The quiet rooms and streets sounded to your endless singing, when you sat, intent on woman's work, the vague future, arriving alive in your mind." "It was the scented May, that's how you spent your day."" "This is harder to get." "This silvia chick was always singing, but what's "woman's work" ?" " Were you crying ?" " Don't be silly !" "Because I said you stank of garbage ?" "No !" "Sorry, I was looking for Giovanna." " No Giovanna here." " Nana ?" "Nana sure, come in." "alessandro." " Friend of Nana ?" " Her sister's husband." " well, not yet..." " No matter, I no jealous." " I don't understand." " Nothing." "Joke !" "Nana, young man say he's your sister's husband." "You opened the door like that ?" "He's staying here a while." "He's a Swedish filmmaker." "Let's go, it's late." "Listen, that director, the bum, the idiot..." " What does that whistle mean ?" " Is he your boyfriend ?" "I'm glad I make you laugh." ""Boyfriend" isn't part of my vocabulary." "So the rumors are true !" " What rumors ?" " You're a lay nun who never lays." "Who's been saying that ?" "No one." "well, everyone." "well, tell everyone that it's not true." "So you're dating." "Don't worry, I won't tell a soul." " He looks like your type !" " Oh God, shall we go in ?" " This one with the silver rose ?" " It's not up to me." " Do you Iike it or not ?" " No." " The Swarowski flower ?" " Not my style." " This sleeping hippo ?" " Atrocious." "What's this ?" " Capodimonte Cherub." " please !" " It's elegant." " Oh God..." "I don't like anything here." "I'II go look over there." "Good morning." " Your wife's hard to please." " She's my mother." " Sorry !" " Don't worry, it was a compliment." "She doesn't look her age, people think she's my sister." "She's gone to... excuse me." "May I see the Fair Trade wedding favors ?" "certainly, we have African and Asian handicrafts, but it's very cheap stuff." " Perfect, may I see them ?" " Right away." "We don't have many." "people don't come here for this kind of thing." "people of color like this stuff." "Africans, FiIipinos, people like that." ""people like that" usually have good taste." " These are very nice !" " Orphans make them." " In Africa." " I Iike them." "ShouIdn't we ask your son's opinion ?" " Who ?" " Your son." "Sorry, he told me." "I thought you were his wife, or his sister..." "Impressive, you certainly don't look your age." " well, I mean..." " Thanks, don't worry." "So, shall we ask your son ?" "No, I think my son will love these." "He trusts me." "There's no one like mom, huh ?" "certainly !" " What a drag !" " AII taken care of." " What did you choose ?" " It's a surprise, you'II love it !" "Watch out !" "Dickhead !" "He had the right of way !" " Tough shit !" "I'm taking this lane !" " It's the reserved lane !" "Reserved for me !" "I'II come Wednesday because I promised Bea, but..." "I don't get this bridal registry." "Why tell others what to buy you ?" "It's tacky." "It's worse if you end up with 2 microwaves and 3 blenders." " It's more practical." " How sad." "Maybe you don't realize, but it saves a Iot of money." "I'd have made a donation to Emergency or Doctors Without Borders." "You only get married once, you have to go whole hog !" "Forget it." "Besides, that Emergency guy pisses me off." "He's incredible !" "He dedicates his life to others." "Sure, but he pisses me off." "Why can't he just be a doctor ?" "always protesting, preaching, asking for money..." "I hear he has a ranch in Afghanistan !" " What are you saying ?" " Just that." "You just say the first thing that comes into your head." "I'm appalled, what kind of person are you ?" " Can't I have an opinion of my own ?" " Sure." "I just don't understand what my sister sees in you." "What about Wednesday ?" "I'm busy, handle the bridal registry yourself." "He's brother-in-Iaw of your sister ?" "No, he's my brother-in-Iaw and my sister's fiance." "I thought he was your fiance." "I know I'm a bit over hill, but even at 20, I wouldn't have given him a second thought." "He's a bully, arrogant and pig ignorant." "He's an asshole !" "But... he's cute asshole !" "marcel, thank goodness for you !" " Hello ?" " It's Bea." "Everything okay ?" "Yes, fine..." "We chose the wedding favors." "Great, don't tell me what they are, I trust you." "So you're getting along ?" "Yes, I suppose so." "Listen, can he do the bridal registry himself ?" " No, promise you'II go with him !" " Okay, I promise." "He's so cute !" "Women are always buzzing around him." " Are you jealous ?" " It's better to keep an eye on him." "Maybe, but nothing's happened, at Ieast not..." " What ?" " Nothing !" "I was just saying, nothing happened." " Perfect, thanks." " Who are you talking to ?" " With the waiter ?" " In italian ?" "I have to go, I'II call you from Los angeles." "Wait, I have to tell you something." "I can't..." " incredible !" " What ?" "The line on this plate is the same color as your eyes !" "What color is it ?" " A shade of purple." " I'd say indigo." "With a hint of periwinkle blue." " Are you a painter ?" " No, he's a wine-seIIer." "Good morning." " My sister-in-Iaw." " Don't jump the gun." "You've chosen these ?" "From the Richard Ginori collection." "My great-grandmother had china like this." "What color is this line, pale blue ?" "It's a bit insipid." "What else do you have ?" "Aren't you against bridal registries ?" "I'm here for my sister." "I'd prefer something more modern." "It's my sister's wedding, not the Infanta of Spain's !" "Thanks." "We were in there for an hour and you didn't like anything." "You wanted a crystal salt shaker or alabaster pepper mill ?" "I wanted to do the bridal registry but I wasted a day !" " I handled it, don't worry." " What ?" " The bridal registry." " Oh yeah ?" "plasma TV, microwave, juicer ?" " No !" "Then what ?" " Doctors Without Borders." " Doctors Without Borders ?" " You don't like Emergency..." " well, you can tell your sister." " I did and she agreed." "She didn't mention it yesterday, I'II call her." "No, it's the dead of the night in LA !" "I'II call her anyway !" "Wait, we have to organize the next few days." "I have to go, we can talk in the car." "Good, I need a lift." "Shit !" "80 euros !" " I work all day !" " What about that sign ?" " There's the bastard !" " What are you going to do ?" " Watch this." "Excuse me !" " Why are you going..." " Yes ?" " Good morning." "Did you do this ?" "Yes, why ?" "I wanted to congratulate you." "At least someone does their job properly in this country." " What's your name ?" " Why ?" "I know people in high places, I'II put in a good word for you." "I didn't actually want to do it, parking's tough here." "If I'm not mistaken, it was that lady who asked me to do it." "I think." "shall we go ?" "Come on..." "Did you see him ?" "He was totally confused." "He was ready to annul the ticket, imagine that !" "You nearly got me." "You can be a real bitch when you want to !" "In a good way !" "You look like a saint, but you're..." " I'm ?" " You're..." "Shit, I'm sorry." "I didn't mean to..." " Doesn't matter..." " What an awful way to find out." "I already knew." "And you accept it ?" "You're so modern !" " I don't know if I'd be able to." " I'm not dating that guy." "I just said it to shut you up." " Weird." " The first normal thing he's done." "No, it's weird that a woman like you doesn't have someone special." "Can we skip the debate for once ?" "I don't want to know what "a woman like you" means." " Sorry about the parking ticket." " It's okay, the car's a perk." " Huh ?" " Your parents pay the fines." "You son of a bitch !" " Bye, gorgeous." " Bye, handsome." "Benedetta !" "Sorry, I dropped the phone." "What's that noise ?" "Are you at a club ?" "No, it's Leo." "Hang on." "Cut it out, I'm on the phone." "I can't hear a thing !" "I Iive here too !" "I wanted to remind you about dinner at Chiara's." "Is it tonight ?" "Wasn't it..." " What do you have to do ?" " Look, I thought... okay." " Will you come pick me up ?" " In 30 minutes." " Can't we make it later ?" " 40 minutes ?" "Okay, bye." "Fucking hell !" "Good evening..." "Nana, he's here." " Who ?" " Andreini !" " Who's he ?" " He designed the new courthouse." " So it's his fault !" " 50 years old, divorced..." "Chiara must've called him for me." "You're looking great !" "I'm glad you're here." "Dinner is served !" "Renato, this is Nana del Treppo." "Renato Andreini." " Nice to meet you." " Benedetta, nice to meet you." "Renato sits here, and Nana here." " What about me ?" " Down there, with Gianmaria." " I sit here..." " Let me." "finally, Chiara's chewed my ear off about you !" "The famous Nana !" "Maneater and squanderer of fortunes." " Excuse me ?" " I'm referring to ZoIa's creation !" "Is Bea really marrying bei Ami ?" "Enzo, don't be a gossip !" "Yes, in a month's time." " AIessandro's not so bad." " Sure." " BeI Ami's a nice guy too." " especially with women !" "I've only met him a couple of times." "I don't want to pass judgment, but he's not Bea's type." " She's a very refined girl." " Who is he ?" " What's his background ?" " I don't know." "They met at university." "He was my student, he was so nervy at the final exam." "I gave him a C just to get rid of him !" "I must confess that I'm a fan of your mother's." "A great actress !" "An incredibly beautiful woman." "Yes, but she's aged a bit lately !" "She gave up acting when you were born." "That's not my fault !" "Perish the thought !" "What do you do ?" "I have a small bookshop." "I run it with Benedetta, my friend." "She's a wonderful person." "You should get to know her, I'II introduce you properly." "Sure, but it was more than enough to meet you this evening." " Thanks for coming." " Thank you." " See you soon, bye." " Goodbye." " Bye, Nana." " Goodnight." "What a headache, why did I drink so much ?" "That's why you were talking bullshit !" "Like when you said my ex-husband tried to kill himself." " It was me !" " It sounded better." "He only spoke to me to ask about you." "Didn't you notice ?" " What ?" " He's got horrible breath !" "Nobody's perfect !" "What is it ?" "I can't stand being alone any more." "I'd even put up with halitosis !" "Even a guy with dentures, dandruff, a prostate !" "Oh God, it's stopped." "The door won't open, I'm suffocating !" " help me !" " Nana ?" " Someone help me !" " It's the other door !" " Promise you won't tell anyone ?" " Sure." "My God." "AII men have a prostate, it's not an illness." "really ?" "hello ?" "Wake up, it's a lovely day.:" "22, 77% humidity." " A light north-westerly breeze." " AIessandro ?" "Yes dear sister-in-Iaw, it's me." "The man who's about to make all women despair, all except the chosen one !" "Are you drunk ?" "At 7:00 in the morning ?" "No, but great idea !" "7:00 ?" "It's really early !" "For Communist Iayabouts like you, but money never sleeps !" "Bring Bea's papers to city hall at 8:30." " What a drag !" " Wake up !" " Pain in the ass !" " What ?" "Nothing." "Why are you panting like a maniac ?" "Jogging !" "Getting in shape for the big day." "You should try it, you don't look very toned !" " Fuck off !" " Thanks !" "See you later." " Good morning." " My sister-in-Iaw's always late." "I've been here 10 minutes, I'm a busy man." "Be thankful that I came !" "If you'd told me yesterday, you'd have saved me the bother." " I missed you." " I didn't miss you !" "Fine, everything's set for the wedding promise." "Thank you." "Why not a civil marriage ?" "When were you last in church ?" " 15 years ago." " When did you last confess ?" "At my Confirmation." "Like all good catholics, no sex before marriage..." "Is this the Inquisition ?" "Aren't you an atheist ?" " So what ?" " You sound like a fundamentalist." "These sins are forgivable." "I'm serious, aren't you being a bit hypocritical ?" "I get it: it's all part of the fun !" "I'm doing it for your sister, I couldn't care less." " The catholic ceremony's nice." " Yes, indeed it is." "I have to go." "Bye." "Nana !" "I'II come pick you up to go see those gypsies for the reception." "KIezmorim: they're Yiddish, not gypsies." "Bye." "I don't understand this inventory thing..." "I just undergo it." " Leo did well on his italian exam." " really ?" " Leopardi was the topic." " We worked on it together." "Smartass !" "He told me he'd done it all by himself." "Good evening." " How's it going ?" " Fine, thanks." "No, it's okay." "I was just passing by and I thought" "I'd drop in to see the famous Nana's bookshop !" " It's wonderful." " Thanks." "I expected nothing less." "places reflect the people who occupy them." "Were you looking for something in particular." "Yes, you." "There's a great Indian restaurant nearby." "feel like having dinner with me ?" "Thanks, but I've been having stomach trouble." "And I'm allergic to the spices !" "Lucky they split up then !" "The Spice girls... spices..." "How about a movie ?" "Tripe and beans at "Nerbone", I already booked !" "Hurry up, they'II scratch my car !" "My brother-in-Iaw, I forgot !" "Maybe some other time !" "Hi there." "Your God took all the best qualities and didn't leave any for his devotees." "Here's another one:" "why do Jews play the violin ?" " Dunno." " Try fleeing with a piano !" "What a drag !" "shall we go ?" "I'm gonna cry !" "Let's book them for my funeral so I won't hear them." " You like them ?" " Yes." " Come on." " What ?" "Dance." "Don't always say no." " will you say something ?" " I don't want to study." "I want to get a job." " What do you want to do ?" " Whatever." "You have to go out and look for jobs." "Have you taken a look around ?" "Who cares, besides..." "Besides what ?" "These books are really boring and no fucking use to me." " Don't talk like that here !" " They're useless, pointless." "So, people like me are just wasting their lives ?" " I didn't mean you." " Yes you did !" "Have the guts to tell me what you think." " I will, if you want." " Yes." "You talk a Iot, but you haven't done anything with your life." "If you had, you wouldn't waste time giving tutorials." " There, I've said it." " Fine, then leave." "There's nothing left to say." "You know something ?" "You've disappointed me." "I've disappointed you ?" "When beauty still shone in your sideIong, laughing eyes" " Don't you Iike it ?" " They're lovely singers." "But they can't act, he can't play Cavaradossi." "He looks like RigoIetto !" " A mint ?" " No thanks, gives me heartburn." "Who's that idiot ?" "He took me to dinner and talked about his ex-wife the whole time." " I don't think he likes me." " Sure he does !" "Nana !" "I had to translate all of "Tosca", I was dying !" " Benedetta, AIessandro." " What about us ?" "Chiara, her husband Enzo and Renato Andreini." "We've already met." "Come have a drink with us !" " You can't, you have the Americans." " Yes, just give me a second." " He's nice !" " It's his strongpoint." "He's cute !" "He looks familiar too." "I've freed myself from the dollar !" "The sheriff looks annoyed !" "So what ?" "I can't work 24 hours a day." " shall we go ?" " Yes." "I don't get opera, I must be ignorant." "Another drink ?" " No, thanks." " White martini." "I know that they express feelings through song, but they use song to ask the time too !" "It's true." " It's difficult to stay serious." " That's always been your problem." "True, tonight I had to make quite an effort !" "would you close the opera houses down ?" "No, why ?" "He's part of the TV generation, it's pointless." "I'm being frank." "It's obvious from your parlance." "Wow, I didn't know I had a parlance." "Listen, have you done any TV ?" "Yes, but nothing important." "Now I remember !" "You did that cookware infomerciaI." "only for a few months." " How can you remember that ?" " I'm nuts about infomercials !" "Did you have a fling with that girl with the big tits ?" "No, it was a put-on." "Have you put this important experience on your resume ?" "No, but I should." "I sold 32,000 cookware sets." "Bet you have a set at home." "Not bad for a 25 year-oId, huh ?" "Depends, I was a university professor at 25." "Must've been fun !" "reckless youth." "It's late." "I have to get up early to expiate some past wrongs." " See you tomorrow." "Have a nice night." " Bye." "It's not the ignorance but the arrogance." " You're mean." "He's just young !" " Wait a few years and see." "I'm going home, I'm tired." "Stay, we'II give you a ride home." "Thanks, but I am quite tired." " Fresh air will do me good." "Bye." " Bye." "Press one, press two, press three..." "I'II press your face, idiot !" " tell me the truth, was it you ?" " What ?" "They towed away my car, but it was parked properly." " They only took mine !" " Look ?" "diplomatic Corps." "Nuts to diplomacy !" "How about we share a cab ?" "Sure." ""Tosca", the car, the Texans, your friends... all that was missing was a kick in the balls !" "They're were really nasty, I'm sorry." "I talked a load of bull too." "I never knew about the cookware..." "It was a great job." "I was good at it and I earned plenty." " I can believe it." " I was deadlocked at university." "I wanted to quit." "Then I met Bea and she changed my Iife." "I graduated in a year and found a job I Iove." "I couldn't believe it when they hired me." "I talked to Duccio for an hour, thinking he was your dad." "Duccio ?" "How could you think that ?" " I was really off my head." " Yes." " Nana, can I show you something ?" " What ?" "It's a surprise." "Trust me." " Come on." " But it's really dark here." "I'm scared of the dark !" " It's wonderful !" " This is the parlour." "I mean the living room." " Bea hates furniture." " Yes, the opposite of me." " And this ?" " The kids' room." " How many kids ?" " I'd Iike 3 or 4 thousand..." "Your sister just wants one." "She says big families cause more suffering." " really ?" " Yes, I don't know why." "She says that family is the lair of unhappiness." " I disagree." " She's got a point..." "But I'm surprised she said that." " Do you Iike it or not ?" " Yes, very much." "There's room for Aunty Nana's bed too !" "A kind thought." "shall we go ?" "Are you offended because I said "aunt" ?" "It's objective: if your sister becomes a mom, you'II be an aunt..." "Stop, I don't want to drive up to the sacristy." "What a drag !" "Cars are meant to get you places." " We might as well have come by bus !" " Come on, Iet's walk." "Didn't you already talk to the priest ?" "I have to finalize some stuff and I want to introduce you !" "Let's be quick about it, priests make me nervous." "Geez, there's always something." "It's understandable after your fiance..." "What do you know about it ?" " Good morning, Fr." "ItaIo !" " Who are you ?" "alessandro Briganti, Beatrice del Treppo's fiance." "Yes, of course !" "Dear Beatrice, we finally get to meet." " About time !" " She's always busy with work." " But here we are." " At least one proper meeting !" "Let's go !" " I don't want to !" " It'II be a laugh, come on." " Where are you going ?" " Home !" " Come on, or he won't marry us." " Are you nuts ?" " You're not marrying me !" " He's gaga, he won't notice." "We're waiting for you !" "We couldn't find the bible." " well, Iet's carry on." " You'II pay for this." "He's funny and nice, but I don't love him." "I came to italy and she came too." "I've always loved her." "I want to marry her before she changes her mind." "please, be serious !" "Let's hear from AIessandro and Beatrice, who've come to see us "in extremis"" "since they're getting married next week." "tell us how you determined to take this important step." " Do you want to do it ?" " No, you do it." "Where do I start..." "First of all, you should know that I'm a very lucky man." "I was wasting the best years of my Iife." "Then I eventually met her." "It was like light pouring into a dark room." "That light was love." "Since then, my Iife's gained momentum." "Thanks to her I've graduated and found a job." "Now I'm realizing this dream." "It's so incredible that when I wake up I'm scared it'II vanish." "Sorry." "You should know that..." "I was orphaned at the age of seven." "Both parents died." "I was in boarding school until I was 18, then I came here to live with an aunt and uncle." "Both wonderful people." "But I knew that I'd only be happy with a family of my own." "The one I'm building with her right now." "Next week we'II lay down the first foundations of this home." "I'm the happiest man in the world." "Because I know I won't be alone any longer." "well said !" "Goodness gracious, you've got guts !" "How do manage to think them up ?" " well done !" " Did I go overboard ?" "It was like oliver Twist: orphan, boarding school, uncle and aunt..." "incredible, right ?" "hello ?" "Bea my love, where are you ?" "Where ?" "Okay, I'm coming." "Bye." "Her flight got in early." "MiIena, AnseImo, will you help me with the luggage ?" " We'II put them in the cloakroom." " My bag too !" "Honey !" " Look who's here !" " Big sis !" " Not that big !" " Sorry." " How did it go with him ?" " Fine." " I didn't think he'd be so likable." " Why not ?" "I had a different impression of him." " Isn't he cuddly ?" " frankly, I wouldn't know." "Listen..." "Do you think..." " You think I'd..." " tell me your impressions." "I don't know." "He never stood me up." "He never rushed off or received suspicious calls." "If he's got another woman, he must keep her in a cave." "Okay ?" "Thanks !" " How about a three-way ?" " No, you're all mine." " I'II go say hi to dad." " He's at the club for the finals." " I'II drop by there." " Coming to my fitting tomorrow ?" " No." " What do you mean ?" "I'II think about it and let you know." "Hi, Nana !" "Look, I won the ham !" " With PippareIIi !" " Nice to meet you." "Everything okay with the wedding of the century ?" "practically." "You were very kind to your sister." "I doubt she'd have done the same." "Why ?" "She's a smart cookie, but a bit selfish." "Like your mom." "How about the man-chiId ?" "I think that he and Bea will be very happy together." "They're well suited." "Like you and mom." "You're wonderful, you only see the good stuff." " Don't treat me like an idiot !" " On the contrary." "evil doesn't exist in nature, we create it." " Who said so ?" " Saint Augustine !" "As you can see, I put you in good company." "Tomorrow at golden View, 16:30." "What's up ?" " What are you doing here ?" " I forgot a book." "I gave it to your mom." "I thought you didn't need to study !" " What did you put in there ?" " Something for you ?" " What ?" " Thanks for coming." " Don't mention it !" "You think it's wrong for a man my age to fall in love with a younger woman ?" "No." "That's what's happened to me." "You must think I'm the typical middIe-aged man who chases girls." "Of course, I believe you." "AII right." "I'II tell you." "I'm hopelessly in love." "I've never felt like this before." "The problem is, she wants to dump me." "She wants to dump you..." "Your sister." "What ?" "We've been seeing each other for three years." "I just managed to keep her with me for a few days." " When ?" " We got back yesterday." "I see !" "But why involve me ?" " Why are you involving me ?" " I have to." " only you can help me." " Me ?" "Yes..." " Give me a break !" " What ?" "Go fuck yourself !" "And you're not a middIe-aged man, you're over sixty !" "Dickhead !" "Fuck off !" "The bodice needs lowering, the flounce needs raising." " What do you think ?" " You look wonderful !" " I Iook like a marshmallow." " It really suits you !" " Nana, thank goodness !" " Come with me." "You'II make me trip me !" "Watch the dress." " Why did you do it ?" " What ?" "Don't screw with me, you know !" "I'm waiting !" "I don't know how it happened." " Worst mistake I ever made." " You did it on purpose !" " What ?" " To teach me a lesson." "Me, the great lady who can correct your grammar but can't get a man into bed." "You did it with him..." " To show me how it's done !" " You're nuts !" "You've always been an opportunist bitch." "I didn't mean to hurt you, it just happened." "I hate it when you do this !" "Dad's right, you're selfish." "And bit of a slut too." "There, I said it !" " Dad ?" " Yes." "Dad..." "How odd." "He's never cared about me." "He can't stand anything I do, the people I hang out with, AIessandro, the winery." "He'd avoid the wedding if he could." "Stop playing the victim !" "Why the victim ?" "You know you're his favorite." ""Look how beautiful Nana is."" ""How well she writes, Nana has such good taste !"" "That always hurt me, don't you understand ?" "Hasn't anybody told you yet ?" "Why do I have to ?" "What ?" "He's not my father, damn it !" " Who ?" " Dad !" " Dad's not dad ?" " He's a dad, but not my dad." " Meaning what ?" " He's not my real father." "I'm not his daughter." "Whose daughter are you then ?" " uncle Duccio's." " What do you mean ?" "How do you know ?" "Mom told me three months ago, when I told her about the wedding." " Does dad know ?" " Which dad ?" "Of course... both of them know." "Dad knows and the other one knows too..." "Everyone knows... mom, you." "I'm the only who doesn't." "Great." "Nobody ever told me." "Ever... how come ?" "What's happened to her ?" "Did you try her place ?" "She's here, I'II call you back." "What happened to you ?" "Nothing." "I fell off my scooter." " Did you hurt yourself ?" " No..." "I just grazed my arm." "Come on, take this off." "You know why I'm here ?" "Yes, but cover yourself up." " Look at this !" " well ?" "I don't know where to start." "When you were eight or nine, your mom left one day." "I told you she'd gone on tour for a show." "You began taking ill." " What was wrong ?" " There was always something." "You suffered from nightmares and stopped eating." "Anyway, I went to look for mom." "In Rome." "She'd gone back to acting." "She was living with Duccio." " You knew they lived together ?" " No." "But he was your best friend !" "I never saw love as something exclusive." "My God !" "That was when your mom got pregnant with Bea." " I can't believe it." " And you began taking ill." "It was a real mess." "We decided to stay like that." " We'd have told you eventually." " It's been thirty years !" "Right, what can I say ?" "You were always too happy, or too unhappy." "You forced us to stay together." " So it's my fault now !" " For pity's sake !" "It's mine and your mom's fault." "But, sorry..." "I remember you sleeping in separate rooms, but I'd sneak into mom's bed in the mornings." "You were there too, right ?" "Sometimes." " What were you doing there ?" " What do you think, Nana ?" "Our relationship went through phases of..." " Of ?" " well, phases of..." " Phases of ?" " Phases of reconciliation." "Yes !" "Mom slept with you and uncle Duccio ?" "Not together." "alternate phases !" "Like alternate side parking !" "Don't be vulgar !" "Sorry." "How long did this mess go on for ?" "It's still going on ?" " Nana, please." " Don't touch me !" "Nana, darling." "darling, my ass." "What do you want ?" "To talk to you." "I don't want to talk to you, okay ?" "Everyone wants to talk when they've been silent for 30 years !" "I don't want to listen, go away !" "Come on, come out !" " Stop acting like a kid !" " I don't want to !" "This is my house too !" "Go away, I don't want to come out." "Sooner or later you'II have to." "Come on, dad's waiting for you." "Everyone's downstairs, please." "AII right..." "Do what you want !" "You buy cookies ?" ""You buy cookies ?"" "Pardon me, I can't see." "Oh, you can't see ?" " Now you won't see !" " No !" "Wait Nana !" "My bags ?" "They're in the courtyard." "Go get them." "Goodbye, farewell !" "Who is it ?" "Bea." " What do you want ?" " Can I come in for a second ?" "My wedding's tomorrow, remember ?" "How could I forget ?" "I just wanted to say that I'd really like you to come." "Okay, you said it." "Thanks, bye." "Nana, come !" "please." "Depends what time I wake up." "It won't be the same without you." "actually, it might be better." "Bye !" "Bye." "Bye." "Who is it ?" "What do you want ?" "Open the door, please." "I know you're there." "I'II wait for you here." "I know that you hate me." "I understand you." "I'd do the same thing in your place." "But try to understand," "life's one big mess." "For you, and for us too." "We've made a load of mistakes..." "But, for better or worse... your dad and I have cared about each other for 40 years." "40 years !" "Love isn't eternal, from what I've understood." "But..." "He and I did create a family, didn't we ?" "It's not a masterpiece... but... we're not masterworks either." "I'm sure... you'd see it differently if it weren't your own family." "You're not a moralist." "You've always understood others." "Much more than I have !" "Even if I've been a bit of a disaster as a mother," "I swear to you, I tried my best !" "Do me a favor." "Come to the wedding, please." "You don't have to speak to me, but please come." "please." "I'm here with you" "Here, where beauty" "Has to hide" "For a secret reason" "My hands weep..." "I've realized something !" "enlightenment !" "I'm gonna dance into the church tomorrow." " Where does she live ?" " Wait... there !" " Where the colonnade is !" " What's her name ?" "The colonnade..." "Her name's Nana." "Nana, show yourself, it's me !" "Nana, show yourself, it's me !" "There she is !" "Nana, it's me, AIessandro !" "Yes, be quiet !" " What's she like, I can't see her ?" " Quiet, you'II annoy the neighbors !" " Excuse them, they're ignorant !" " Go get some sleep !" "Your wedding's tomorrow, remember ?" "I brought these to thank you !" "The condemned man's last request." "I'm going to bed, goodnight !" "No, wait !" "Come outside !" " Come up, but only you !" " Okay." "Sorry !" " Where did you get them ?" " A flower stool..." "I mean, stall." " A flower stall." " Thanks, they're lovely." "Sorry for the intrusion, I went for a drink with some pals." " A bachelor party." " Yes, I can imagine." " well, nothing, hello." " hello." "I dropped by to tell you... the time I spent with you was wonderful." " Oh, yes..." " really !" "I enjoyed it too." "You're a fantastic woman." "Thanks, really..." "really, you're... you're the most womanly woman I've ever me !" " Don't exaggerate." " Yes !" "You're intelligent... ..cultured, sensitive." "And you're really beautiful !" "And your eyes !" "You have to wear sunglasses to look at them !" "Fine..." "Thanks, really." " You've gone crazy !" "Oh God." " Sorry, sorry." " I don't know..." " Right." "I keep thinking about you." " Just another one and I'II go." " No, no !" "God, sorry, did I hurt you ?" " How are you ?" " Fine, I feel great ?" " But it's all red !" " It's okay, I'II go home !" " Did I faint ?" " More or less." "What an asshole !" "Don't know what came over me." "Nothing, you just drank too much." "I feel weird, I don't know what's going on." "You're getting married, that's all." "It's crazy, I don't feel like myself." "It all happened so fast." "I don't know if it's what I want." "Don't worry !" "You're just a bit scared and drunk." "Listen... excuse me if I change the subject, but do you really think the stuff you said earlier ?" "That stuff... yes, yes !" " You mean, that I Iike you ?" " Okay, I get it." "The first answer's enough." "But when I think about you..." "Shut up." "This is a huge mistake !" "Yes, you're right." "Oh well..." "shall I take you home ?" "On the right." "You live here ?" "With my uncle and aunt." "So it was all true then !" "Over there." "It's always the same: when I'm being serious, no one believes me." "Just like the boy who cried wolf." "Okay, thanks Nana." "Bye." "Thanks again." " AIessandro !" " Yes ?" "What happened must never happen again, right ?" "Sure." "Never say never." "I was wrong, you're very toned !" "Idiot !" "alessandro and Beatrice," "alessandro and Beatrice, the Church joins in your happiness and together with your loved ones, affectionately welcomes you on the day in which, before God, you are celebrating your union." "On this special day for you, the Lord is listening and sends you His help and protection from Heaven." "He will grant your hearts' desires and hear your prayers." "alessandro, do you take Beatrice to be your wife ?" "Do you promise to be true to her in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love her and honor her all the days of your life ?" "I do." "Well, as I was saying, now you now why I'm overcome." "I'm overcome for Alessandro and Bea." "Giovanna !" "This is Marina." "Nice to meet you." "Nana." "I was very angry with you." "I thought about it for a Iong time and I realized that..." "Excuse me, do you mind ?" " PaoIo." " Yes ?" " Can I ask you something ?" " Depends ?" "Listen, your decision to become a priest..." "I never understood if it was my fault !" "Did you decide before or after meeting me ?" " Before !" " Oh, before ?" "I'd always wanted it, but I hadn't realized it." " actually..." " What ?" " You nearly changed my mind !" " I thought the opposite !" "Since we're in confessional mode," "I want to tell you that the memory of our time together..." "paolo, you're a priest !" "CeIibacy !" "You know, you're very sexy in that dress !" "darling !" "How about a mint ?" " If you want." " Let's go get one." "The party was fabulous, the food was sublime." "The wedding favors were a hit and the Klezmer music made even the most timid dance." "Here I am !" "Hi." "Sorry about the mess, I'm painting." "I had a guest who was a bit smelly." "Put it here." "Sorry, it's not that I don't trust you... but stuff never works with me, I must have negative energy..." "Do you mind if we check it together ?" "Okay." "Thanks." " See, it doesn't work." " Be patient." "This is the opening display before it accesses the desktop." " This is a screensaver program..." " That my dumb friend put in !" "could you do something about..." "Sure." "Do you want to eliminate it or do you want... to reset it ?" "To zero ?" "Let's reset it !" "subtitles:" "Laser S. film s.r.I." " Rome"