"May I go out now, Miss Simpson?" "Has it stopped snowing?" "Not quite." "If it has stopped when your sister returns, perhaps she will take you out." "Oh, dear." "Here, kitty." "Suppose it never stops." "Suppose the man in charge of the snow has forgotten how to stop it." "Don't you think you had better work a while at your sampler?" "No, thank you." "Oh, dear." "Hello, Sir Turtle." "You really must stop that, Your Majesty." "Stop it, I say!" "Stop what?" "The White Queen just knocked over the White King." "She never does look where she's going." "Alice, you know you are not supposed to play with your father's chessmen." "But I wasn't playing." "She deliberately bumped into His Majesty and knocked him off his feet." "Alice, are you sure that that is true?" "Well, I saw it." "Alice." "Yes, Miss Simpson." "At any rate, Your Majesty, stop bumping into your husband." "And you might tidy up a bit." "A white rabbit!" "All dressed up in a muffler and overcoat and big woolly shoes." "There." "It's gone into its nice warm rabbit hole." "It looked so funny all dressed up." "Alice, I am sure you know that there is no such thing as a rabbit dressed up in a muffler and an overcoat." "You must not say what is not true." "Well, it..." "It wasn't untrue exactly." "I think you had better finish your tea." "There is another egg for you to eat." "I did eat both eggs, but I put one of them all back together again." "Alice!" "Yes, Miss Simpson." "The looking-glass room." "You see, Dinah, as soon as I hold you up, the little girl in the looking-glass room holds up another cat just like you." "Oh, Dinah, wouldn't you like to see what the looking-glass house is like?" "You know, Dinah, there is a looking-glass house." "First, there's the room you can see through the glass." "That's just the same as our sitting room, only the things go the other way." "You'd love living there." "But, of course, I don't know whether looking-glass milk is good to drink." "Well, anyway, then we would come to the hallway." "It is very like our own hallway as far as you can see, only it may be quite different beyond that." "Oh, Dinah, wouldn't it be nice if we could get through to..." "I can see all of the looking-glass room from here, all but a bit." "I would so like to see that little bit just behind the fireplace." "Do you think, Dinah, that if I pressed very, very hard and tried to look straight down, that I might..." "Why, why..." "Well, I knew this part of the room would be different." "But I do wish the looking-glass chair had moved when I moved ours." "There seems no other way." "If I could only fall like that all the time!" "Can't be English." "Of course." "It's the looking-glass room." "Why, it's Uncle and Aunt!" "I knew that if you could really get behind a picture, you'd see the backs of people." "Poor Uncle Gilbert." "His trousers are all patched." "My dear niece, how would you like being framed in one pair of trousers for 20 years without being patched?" "It must be very difficult." "It is." "But after all, it's only the front of a picture that counts, really." "Of course." "That is all." "8:00." "What did you say?" "8:00." "But your hands say 20 minutes to 4:00." "I never let my left hand know what my right hand is doing." "This side of the looking glass has me all confused." "That's because everything is backward on your side." "Why, I..." "I never..." "Mama!" "Mama!" "Mama!" "Mama!" "Mama!" "What's that?" "It's the voice of my child!" "Your child!" "Oh, my precious lily!" "My imperial kitten!" "I must be with my child." "Let me help you." "Mama!" "Mama!" "Dear me." "There, there, my royal pawn." "Poor thing." "Watch out for the volcano." "It blew me up!" "Be sure you come up the regular way." "Don't get blown up." "You'll be hours and hours getting to the table at that rate." "I'd far better help you." "No, no!" "The King's men!" "Somebody call out the King's men!" "I assure you, my dear, I shall never, never forget the horror of this moment." "Well, you will forget, unless you make a memorandum of it." "I shall be very happy to remind you." "We will not be reminded by a volcano." "I'm not a volcano, and I'm not a cyclone, either." "Then you're either a cyclano or a volcone." "And..." "Well, what time was that?" "I really haven't any idea, but it's very late." "I must hurry or I shall have to go back through the looking glass before I've seen what the rest of the house is like." "My, what a strange way to walk about the garden." "The Duchess!" "The Duchess!" "Won't she be savage if I've kept her waiting!" "Oh, dear!" "Oh, dear!" "I shall be too late!" "My ears and whiskers, how late it is getting!" "Well, after such a fall as this," "I shall think nothing of tumbling downstairs." "I wish Dinah were here." "That's such pretty music." "Oh, dear." "Ouch." "Goodbye, dear feet." "Oh, will I ever get to the beautiful garden?" "Oh!" "Oh, Mouse!" "Do you know the way out of this pool, oh, Mouse?" "I'm very tired of swimming about here." "Perhaps you don't understand English." "I daresay you're a French mouse." "That's French for, "Where is my cat?"" "I beg your pardon." "I quite forgot you didn't like cats." "Wait, oh, Mouse!" "Oh, Mouse!" "Not like cats?" "Would you like cats if you were me?" "Don't be angry." "I wish I could show you our cat Dinah." "You'd take quite a fancy to her." "She's such a dear, quiet thing, and so good at catching mice." "Oh, I beg your pardon." "I hate you!" "I hate cats!" "My whole family hates cats." "Nasty, low, vulgar things!" "Oh, dear!" "Wait, oh, Mouse!" "Cats!" "Cats!" "Cats!" "William the Conqueror, whose cause was favored by the pope, was soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest." "Who are you, please?" "I am a dodo." "How do you do?" "My name is Alice." "And you are very wet." "I'm afraid I am, but there isn't much I can do about getting dry." "History is the driest thing I know." "Shall we dry you with history?" "I'd be much obliged if you could." "Listen well." "Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, found it advisable to go with Edgar Aetheling to meet William and offer him the crown." "William's conduct at first was moderate, but the insolence of his Normans..." "How are you getting on, my dear?" "Beautifully, thank you." "Shall I put you to sleep now?" "No, thank you!" "Then you'd best run along." "I'm about to recite some dates." "Yes, sir." "Thank you." "Goodbye." "1585, Shakespeare was born, 1616, Shakespeare died..." "Who are you?" "I hardly know, sir, just at present." "At least, I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I must have changed several times since then." "What do you mean by that?" "Explain yourself." "I can't explain myself, because I'm not myself, you see." "I don't see!" "I can't put it more clearly, for I can't understand it myself to begin with." "And being so many different sizes in one day is confusing." "It isn't." "Well, when some day you turn into a chrysalis, and after that into a butterfly, you'll find it a bit queer, won't you?" "Not a bit!" "Well, maybe you wouldn't, but it would certainly feel very queer to me." "You?" "Who are you?" "I think you ought to tell me who you are first." "Why?" "Good day, sir." "Come back." "I have something important to say." "Yes?" "Keep your temper." "Is that all?" "No." "So you think you've changed, do you?" "I'm afraid I have, sir." "What size do you want to be?" "I should like to be a little larger, sir, if you wouldn't mind." "Three inches is such a horrid height to be." "I am three inches high!" "It's a very good height to be!" "I'm sure it must be, sir, but you see, I'm not used to it." "You'll get used to it in time." "One side will make you grow taller." "The other side will make you grow shorter." "One side of..." "Of what?" "The mushroom." "Which side will make me grow larger?" "The large-making side, of course." "I'll take a little of both to make sure." "Oh, dear, now I'm too big again, oh, Caterpillar." "Mr. Caterpillar, sir, where are you?" "Whoever lives here, it would never do to come upon them this size." "Why, I should frighten them out of their wits." "For the Duchess." "An invitation from the Queen to play croquet." "My compliments to the Queen." "My compliments to the Duchess." "There's no sort of use in your knocking." "Please, sir, how am I to get in?" "I shall sit here till tomorrow." "I'm sorry you were hit, but how am I to get in?" "I shall sit here for days and days." "But what am I to do?" "Anything you like." "Please watch out for the baby!" "She nearly killed the poor little thing." "If everybody minded their own business, the world would go round much faster than it does." "Speak roughly to your little boy And beat him when he sneezes" "He only does it to annoy Because he knows it teases" "Wow!" "Wow!" "Wow!" "Wow!" "Wow!" "Wow!" "He only does it to annoy Because he knows it teases" "Here, you can nurse it a bit if you like." "Now, I must go and get ready to play croquet with the Queen." "Don't grunt." "That's not at all a proper way of expressing yourself." "What am I going to do with this creature when I get it home?" "If you're going to turn into a pig, my dear," "I'll have nothing more to do with you." "Mind now!" "There's no mistake about you now." "You're a pig!" "You would have grown up to be a dreadfully ugly child, but you do make a handsome pig, I think." "Why do you grin, oh, cat?" "Because I'm a Cheshire Cat, that's why." "Well, then, Cheshire puss, would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?" "That depends a good deal on where you want to get to." "I don't care much where." "Then it doesn't matter which way you go." "So long as I get somewhere." "You're sure to do that, if you only walk long enough." "Do you play croquet with the Queen today?" "I should like it very much, but I haven't been invited yet." "You'll see me there." "Must you go so soon?" "By the by, what became of the baby?" "I'd nearly forgotten to ask." "It turned into a pig." "I thought it would." "Did you say pig or fig?" "I said pig and I wish you wouldn't keep appearing and vanishing so suddenly." "You make one quite giddy." "All right." "Don't you wish you could do this?" "Well, I've often seen a cat without a grin, but a grin without a cat?" "No room!" "No room!" "No room!" "No room!" "There's plenty of room!" "Have some wine?" "I don't see any wine." "There isn't any." "It wasn't very civil of you to offer it." "Your hair needs cutting." "You should not make personal remarks." "It's very rude." "Why is a raven like a writing desk?" "I believe I can answer that." "Do you mean you can find the answer to it?" "Exactly so." "You should say what you mean." "What day of the month is it?" "Fourth." "Ah!" "Two days wrong." "I told you that butter wouldn't suit the works." "Oh!" "Some crumbs must have got in it as well." "Hmm." "I put it in with a bread knife." "It was the best butter, you know." "What a funny watch!" "It tells the days of the month, but doesn't tell what "o'clock" it is." "Have you guessed the riddle yet?" "Why..." "Why, no." "I give it up." "What is the answer?" "I haven't the slightest idea!" "Nor I!" "I think you might do something better with time than wasting it asking a lot of riddles that have no answers." "Don't you speak about Time." "I daresay you've never even spoken to him." "Perhaps not." "Time and I quarreled last March, just before he went mad, you know." "It was at a great concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing, "Twinkle, twinkle, little bat How I wonder what you're at"" "You know the song, perhaps?" "I've heard something like it." "It goes on, you know, like this." "Twinkle, twinkle, little bat" "How I wonder what you're at" "Up above the world you fly Like a tea tray in the sky" "Up above the world you fly" "Like a tea tray in the sky" "Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle..." "Twinkle, twinkle, little bat" "How I wonder what you're at" "Up above the world you fly" "Like a tea tray in the sky" "Up above the world you fly" "Like a tea tray in the sky" "Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle" "Twinkle, twinkle..." "Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse when the Queen bawled," ""He's murdering the Time!" "Off with his head!"" "And ever since that, he won't do a thing I ask." "It's always 6:00 now." "Is that why all the tea things are out here?" "Yes, that's it." "It's always teatime, and we have no time to wash the tea things in between." "Take some more tea." "I haven't had any yet, so I can't take more." "You mean you can't take less." "It is very easy to take more than nothing." "I want a clean cup." "It's the stupidest tea party I ever was at in all my life!" "Very curious!" "Would you please tell me why are you painting those roses?" "I..." "Well, as a matter of fact, Miss, this tree should have been a red rose tree and we put in a white one by mistake, and if the Queen should find out, we'll all have our heads cut off." "So, you see, Miss, we're doing our best before she comes back to paint..." "The Queen!" "The Queen!" "The Queen!" "Come, come, get up!" "Her Majesty, the Queen of Hearts." "Her Majesty, the Queen!" "Off with his head!" "Off with his head!" "What is your name, child?" "My name is Alice, so please Your Majesty." "Off with her head!" "Off with her head!" "Nonsense!" "Off with her head!" "Off with her head!" "Consider, my dear." "She's only a child." "Off with her head!" "Off with her head!" "And besides, this is the executioners' day off." "It is, is it?" "Well, they shall lose their heads for this!" "Can you play croquet?" "Yes." "Then let the game begin at once." "Hurry!" "Hurry!" "Hurry!" "Hurry!" "Must I behead you all?" "Here, take it." "Play." "Off with some heads." "You're pointing the wrong way for a mallet!" "Pardon me." "My back hurts." "Well!" "Don't look at me." "I'm as mixed up as you are!" "This game's slowing up." "Off with some heads!" "Where are my victims?" "Search the hedges." "Thrash the bushes." "Shake the trees!" "How glad I am to see you again, you dear old thing." "How did you like your game?" "Well, it was very exciting." "Of course it is." "And the moral of that is," ""Be what you would like to be."" "Or, to put it more simply, "Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise" ""than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been" ""wasn't otherwise than what you had been" ""would have appeared to them to be otherwise."" "I should understand that better if it were written down." "I can't quite follow it as you say it." "That's nothing to what I could say, if I chose." "And the moral of that is..." "It's a fine day, Your Majesty." "I give you fair warning." "Either you or your head must be off at once!" "Please, Your Majesty, could you make it go away?" "Queen!" "Queen!" "Where are you, Queen?" "What fun!" "What is the fun?" "The Queen." "They never really execute anybody she condemns, you know." "The King..." "The King pardons everybody." "I'm very happy to know that, I'm sure." "Have you seen the Mock Turtle yet?" "Why..." "Why, no." "I don't even know what a Mock Turtle is." "It's what mock turtle soup's made from." "Come here, will you, Mock Turtle, old thing?" "What is his sorrow?" "It's all his fancy." "He hasn't got no sorrow." "No sorrow, indeed." "Mine are the sorrows of a sorrowful sorrow." "Mine are the woes of a woeful woe." "Mine are the..." "This here young lady, she wants for to know your history, she do." "I'll tell it her." "Sit down, both of you, and don't speak a word till I've finished." "Once I was a real turtle." "Oh, dear!" "Oh, dear!" "When we were little, we went to school in the sea." "The master was an old turtle." "We used to call him Tortoise." "Why did you call him Tortoise if he wasn't one?" "We called him Tortoise because he taught us." "You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple question." "We went to school in the sea, though you mayn't believe it." "I never said I didn't." "You did." "Hold your tongue!" "We had the best of educations." "In fact, we went to school every day." "I've been to a day school, too." "We learned French and music." "I only took the regular course." "What was that?" "Reeling and writhing to begin with." "And then the different branches of arithmetic, ambition, distraction, uglification and derision." "And how many hours a day did you do lessons?" "Ten hours the first day and nine the next and so on." "That's why they're called lessons, because they lessen from day to day." "Then the 11th day must have been a holiday." "Of course." "And how did you manage on the 12th day?" "Well, that's enough about lessons." "Shall we play games, or shall the Mock Turtle sing?" "Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind." "No accounting for tastes." "Sing her Turtle Soup, will you, old fellow?" "In a moment." "Beautiful soup Who cares for fish" "Game, or any other dish?" "Who would not give all else for two" "Pennyworth only of beautiful soup?" "Pennyworth only of beautiful soup" "Beautiful soup, beautiful soup" "Soup of the evening" "Beautiful soup, beautiful..." "Faster!" "Faster!" "Faster!" "Faster!" "Faster!" "Much faster!" "Are we nearly there?" "Nearly there?" "Why, we passed it 10 minutes ago." "Faster!" "It's all marked out like a chessboard." "Of course it's a chessboard, and life is a chessboard, and you are a Queen's pawn." "You will go immediately to the fourth square, which you should reach in exactly no time." "Did you remark something?" "I didn't know I had to make one just then." "You should have told me how kind it is of me to tell you all this." "No questions?" "Very well, then, no answers." "Open your mouth wide when you speak, and always speak in French if you can't think of the English for something." "Turn out your toes as you walk and always say "Your Majesty," and so forth." "If you think we're waxworks, you ought to pay, you know." "Waxworks weren't made to be looked at for nothing, nohow." "Contrary-wise, if you think we're alive, you ought to speak." "I'm sure I'm very sorry." "I was wondering which is the best way out of this wood." "Would you tell me, please?" "You've begun wrong." "The first thing in a visit is to say," ""How do you do?" And shake hands." "I hope you're not much tired." "Why, nohow, but thank you very much for asking." "So much obliged." "You like poetry?" "Yes, pretty well." "Some poetry." "But would you tell me first which road leads out of the woods?" "What shall I repeat to her?" "The Walrus and the Carpenter is the longest." ""The sun was shining on the sea Shining with all his might" ""He did his very best to make The billows smooth and bright" ""And this was odd because it was The middle of the night" ""The Walrus and the Carpenter Were walking close at hand" ""They wept like anything to see Such quantities of sand" ""'lf this were only cleared away' They said, 'it would be grand'" ""'lf seven maids with seven mops Swept it for half a year" ""'Do you suppose,' the Walrus said" ""'That they could get it clear?"'" ""'I doubt it,' said the Carpenter And shed a bitter tear"" ""'Oh, oyster, come and walk with us, ' The Walrus did beseech" ""'A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk Along the briny beach'" ""They could not do with more than four To give a hand to each" ""The eldest oyster looked at him But never a word he said" ""The eldest oyster winked his eye And shook his heavy head" ""Meaning to say he did not choose To leave the oyster bed" ""But younger oysters hurried up All eager for the treat" ""Their coats were brushed Their faces washed" ""Their shoes were clean and neat" ""And this was odd because, you know They hadn't any feet" ""'The time has come,' the Walrus said 'To talk of many things" ""'Of shoes and ships and sealing wax Of cabbages and kings"" ""'And why the sea is boiling hot And whether pigs have wings"'" ""'A loaf of bread,' the Walrus said 'ls what we chiefly need" ""'Pepper and vinegar besides Are very good indeed" ""'Now, if you're ready, oysters dear We can begin to feed'" ""'But not on us, ' the oysters cried Turning a little blue" ""'After such kindness that would be A dismal thing to do!" "'" ""'The night is fine,' the Walrus said 'Do you admire the view?" "'" ""'I weep for you,' the Walrus said 'I deeply sympathize'" ""With sobs and tears he sorted out Those of the largest size" ""Holding his pocket handkerchief Before his streaming eyes" ""'Oh, oyster,' said the Carpenter 'You've had a pleasant run" ""'Shall we be trotting home again?" "' But answer came there none" ""And this was scarcely odd because They'd eaten every one"" "Well, they were both very unpleasant characters." "But at any rate, I'd better be leaving the wood because it's really getting very dark." "Well, goodbye." "Look!" "Do you see that?" "It's only a rattle." "Only an old rattle, quite old and broken." "I knew it was." "It's spoiled, of course." "My nice new rattle." "Of course, you agree to have a battle?" "I suppose so." "Only she must help us to dress up, you know." "Of course!" ""Tweedledee and Tweedledum Agreed to have a battle" ""For Tweedledee said Tweedledum" ""Had spoiled his nice new rattle" ""Just then down flew a monstrous crow As black as a tar barrel" ""Which frightened both the heroes so" ""They quite forgot their quarrel"" "I hope you're good at pinning and tying string." "All this has got to go on somehow or other." "This is to keep my head from being cut off." "You know, one of the most serious things that can happen to one in a battle is to get one's head cut off." "Do I look very pale?" "Well, yes, a little." "I'm very brave generally, only today I happen to have a headache." "Well, I've got a toothache." "I'm far worse than you." "Then you'd both better not fight today." "We must have a bit of a fight." "Let's fight till 6:00 and then have dinner." "There's only one sword, but you can have the umbrella." "It's sharper." "Only we must begin quick." "It's getting very, very dark." "And darker and darker." "What a thick black cloud that is, and how fast it comes!" "Why, I do believe it's got wings." "It's the crow!" "The crow!" "May I put your shawl straight for you?" "I don't know what's the matter with it." "It's out of temper, I think." "I've pinned it here and I've pinned it there, but there's no pleasing it." "It can't go on straight, you know, if you put all the pins on one side." "And dear me, what a state your hair is in!" "Oh, the brush has got entangled in it." "And I lost the comb yesterday." "There, now you look better." "My finger's bleeding." "What's the matter?" "Have you pricked your finger?" "I haven't pricked it yet, but I soon shall." "When do you expect to do it?" "When I fasten my shawl again, the broach will come undone." "Watch out, you're holding it all wrong." "Now you understand the way things happen here." "But why don't you scream now?" "Why, I've done all the screaming already." "Now, what would be the good of doing it all over again?" "I suppose so." "Well, it's a bit lighter now." "I'm glad that crow is gone." "I hope your finger's better now." "Much better." "Better, better, better." "What is it you want to buy?" "I should like to buy an egg, please." "I never put things into people's hands." "That would never do." "You must get it for yourself." "What a strange egg!" "It keeps growing much faster than it should!" "Curiouser and curiouser!" "It's bigger than a chicken!" "Why, it's..." "It's Humpty-Dumpty!" "Don't stand there staring at me as if I were an egg." "Tell me your name and your business." "My name is Alice." "It's a stupid enough name." "What does it mean?" "Must a name mean something?" "Of course it must." "My name means the shape I am, and a right handsome shape it is." "With your name, you might be any shape." "Why do you sit out here all alone?" "Because there's nobody with me." "Did you think I couldn't answer that?" "Ask another." "Don't you think you'd be safer on the ground?" "That wall is so very narrow." "Of course I don't think so." "Why, if I ever did fall off, which there's no chance of, but if I did..." "If I did fall, the King has promised me..." "To send all his horses and all his men." "Ah, so, you know." "All his horses and all his men." "They'd pick me up again in a minute, they would." "However, this conversation is going on a little too fast." "Let's go back to the last remark but one." "I'm afraid I can't quite remember it." "In that case, we start afresh, and it's my turn to choose a subject." "How old did you say you were?" "Twelve years and four months." "Wrong." "You never said a word like it." "I thought you meant, "How old are you?"" "If I'd meant that, I'd have said that." "Twelve years and four months." "An uncomfortable sort of age." "Now, my advice would have been to leave off at 12, but it's too late now." "What a beautiful belt!" "Or is it a beautiful collar?" "It is a most provoking thing when a person doesn't know a collar from a belt." "I know it's very ignorant of me." "It's a collar, child, and a beautiful one, as you say." "It's a present from the White King and Queen." "Is it really?" "They gave it to me for an un-birthday present." "I beg your pardon?" "I am not offended, and it isn't respectable to beg." "I mean, what is an un-birthday present?" "A present given when it isn't your birthday, of course." "I like birthday presents best." "You don't know what you're talking about." "How many days are there in a year?" "Three hundred and sixty-five." "And how many birthdays have you?" "One." "And if you take that from 365, what remains?" "Three hundred and sixty-four, of course." "Well then, there are 364 days when you might get un-birthday presents." "Certainly." "And only one for birthday presents." "That's glory for you!" "I don't know what you mean by glory." "Of course you don't, till I tell you." "I meant there's a nice knock-down argument for you." "But glory doesn't mean that." "When I use a word, it means what I choose it to mean, neither more or less." "The question is whether you can make words mean different things." "The question is, which is to be the master, you or the word?" "That's all." "However, I can manage the whole lot." "Impenetrability, that's what I say." "Would you tell me, please, what that means?" "I meant by impenetrability that we've had enough of the subject, and it would be just as well if you would mention what you mean to do next, as I suppose you don't mean to stop here all the rest of your life." "Fancy it meaning all that." "You seem very clever at explaining words, sir." "Would you kindly tell me the meaning of a poem called Jabberwocky?" "I read it a long time ago." "I can, but I won't." "That's all." "Goodbye." "Goodbye, till we meet again." "I shouldn't know you if we did meet." "You're so exactly like other people." "The face is what one generally goes by." "That's just it." "Your face is the same as everybody's." "The two eyes, so." "Nose in the middle, mouth under." "Now, if your two eyes were on the same side of your nose, or your mouth on the top, that would be some help." "It wouldn't look nice." "Wait till you've tried." "Watch out!" "Help!" "Help!" "I'm falling!" "Tell the King!" "Tell him to bring his horses and his men!" "Help!" "What happened?" "We ran into each other, Your Majesty." "Good." "I rather fancied something like that had happened." "Oh, Your Majesty, Humpty-Dumpty fell off the wall!" "I know, I know." "Four-thousand, two-hundred and seven of my soldiers are on the way." "Two without horses." "If all this King's horses and men can't put him back together again, nobody can." "I'm glad Humpty will be all right." "I was worried." "Well, don't be." "Look along the road and tell me if you can see either of my three messengers." "I see nobody on the road." "Oh, I only wish I had such eyes!" "To be able to see nobody, and at that distance!" "Oh!" "It's too, too bad!" "Can I help you, sir?" "On or off?" "You are on." "In a short time I shall be off again." "I'm so sorry." "Are you the King's messenger?" "I am the White Knight." "I see you're admiring my little box." "It's my own invention, to keep clothes and sandwiches in." "You see, I carry it upside down so the rain can't come in." "But the things can get out." "Do you know the lid is open?" "Then if all the things have fallen out, the box is no use without them." "Can you guess why I did that?" "I can't imagine." "In hopes some bees may make a nest in it." "Then I should get the honey." "But you've got a beehive, or something like one, fastened to the saddle." "It's a very good beehive, too." "One of the best kind, but not a single bee has come near it yet." "That other thing's a mousetrap." "I suppose the mice keep the bees out or the bees keep the mice out." "I don't know which." "It isn't very likely there would be any mice on a horse's back." "Not very likely, perhaps, but I don't choose to have them running all about." "You see, I'm well provided for everything." "That's the reason the horse has those anklets around his feet." "What are they for?" "To guard against the bites of sharks." "It's my own invention." "But let's go on." "I'll go with you to the edge of the wood." "I hope you've got your hair well-fastened on." "Only the usual way." "That's hardly enough." "You see, the wind is so strong here." "It's strong as soup." "Have you invented a plan for keeping the hair from being blown off?" "Not yet, but I have a plan for keeping the hair from falling off." "I should like to hear it very much." "First, you take an upright stick, then you make your hair creep up it like a vine." "Now, the reason hair falls off is because it hangs down." "Things never fall upward, you know." "It's my own invention." "You may try it if you like." "I'm a great hand at inventing things." "Now, I daresay you noticed the last time you picked me up," "I was looking rather thoughtful." "You were a little grave." "Well, just then I was inventing a new way of getting over a gate." "Would you like to hear it?" "Very much, indeed." "Well, I'll tell you how I came to think of it." "I said to myself," ""The only difficulty is with the feet." ""The head's high enough already."" "Now, first I put my head on top of the gate, then my head's high enough, then I stand on my head, then my feet are high enough." "Then I'm over." "Sir Knight!" "If there were only a gate down here," "I'd be in excellent position to cross it." "How can you go on talking so quietly with your head in a ditch?" "What does it matter where my body happens to be?" "My mind goes on working all the same." "In fact, I once invented a new pudding during the meat course." "In time to have it cooked for the next course?" "Hmm." "That was quick work." "Well, not the next course." "In fact, I don't believe that pudding ever was cooked." "What did you mean it to be made of?" "Well, it began with blotting paper." "That wouldn't be very nice, I'm afraid." "Not very nice alone, but imagine how good it would be mixed with other things, such as gunpowder and sealing wax." "And here I must leave you." "This is the end of the wood." "You've only a few yards to go." "Down the hill, across that little brook, and then you'll be a queen." "At last!" "But you'll stay and see me off first?" "I shan't be long." "You'll wait?" "Of course I'll wait." "I think it'll encourage me." "Thank you very much for coming so far out of your way." "For that, I shall expect you to cry a good deal as I go." "The poor, dear Knight." "He's the nicest person yet." "Well, here I am." "What's this?" "A crown!" "A golden crown!" "I'm a queen!" "I'm a queen!" "How dare you say that you're a queen." "What right have you to call yourself so?" "You can't be a queen, you know, till you've passed the proper examination, and the sooner we begin it, the better." "Be seated." "Yes, Your Majesty." "I'm ready, Your Majesties." "Can you do addition?" "Now what's one and one and one and one and one and one, one and one?" "I don't know." "I lost count." "She can't do addition." "Can you answer any useful questions?" "How is bread made?" "I know that." "You take some flour..." "Where do you pick the flower, in a garden or in the hedges?" "It isn't picked at all, it's ground." "But how many acres of ground?" "I wish you wouldn't leave out so many things!" "Oh, dear." "You know any languages?" "What's the French for "fiddle-de-dee"?" "Fiddle-de-dee's not English." "Whoever said it was?" "Well, if you'll tell me what language fiddle-de-dee is," "I'll tell you the French for it." "Queens never make bargains!" "I'm so sleepy." "She's tired, poor thing." "So, smooth her hair, lend her your nightcap and sing her a soothing lullaby." "I haven't any nightcap, and I don't know any soothing lullabies." "I'll have to do it myself." "Hush-a-bye lady in Alice's lap" "When the feast's ready we've time for a nap" "When the feast's over we'll go to the ball" "Red Queen and White Queen and Alice and all" "Now that you know the words, sing it through to me." "I'm sleepy, too." "Now what am I to do?" "Do wake up." "To the looking-glass world" "It was Alice that said" ""I've a scepter in hand" ""I've a crown on my head"" "No admittance until week after next." "Why..." "Why, how dare you!" "Fill up the glasses as quick as you can" "And sprinkle the table With buttons and bran" "Put cats in the coffee and mice in the tea" "And welcome Queen Alice with 30 times three" "Put cats in the coffee and mice in the tea" "And welcome Queen Alice With 30 times three" "Then put in the glasses, molasses and ink" "And anything else that is pleasant to drink" "Mix sand with the cider And wool with the wine" "And welcome Queen Alice With 90 times nine" "Mix sand with the cider And wool with the wine" "And welcome Queen Alice" "With 90 times 90 times 90 times nine" "You've missed the soup and fish!" "Serve the roast!" "You seem a little shy." "Let me introduce you to that leg of mutton." "Alice, Leg of Mutton." "Leg of Mutton, Alice." "How do you do?" "May I give you a slice?" "Certainly not!" "It isn't etiquette to cut somebody you've been introduced to." "Remove the roast!" "Will you, won't you, will you, won't you..." "Please don't introduce the Pudding, or we shall get no dinner at all." "May I give you some?" "Pudding, Alice." "Alice, Pudding." "What impertinence!" "How would you like it if I were to cut a slice out of you, you creature?" "Make a remark." "It's ridiculous to leave all the conversation to the Pudding." "Well..." "You'd better prepare." "We're about to drink to your health." "Queen Alice's health!" "Queen Alice's health!" "Queen Alice!" "Queen Alice!" "She ought to make a speech." "A speech!" "So she ought!" "A speech!" "A speech!" "A speech!" "A speech!" "Speech!" "Speech!" "I rise to return thanks." "Take care!" "Something's going to happen!" "Something's going to happen!" "Here I am!" "There was a looking-glass room, and you were the Red Queen." "There was a whole looking-glass country."