"{\move(10,10,190,230,100,400)\fad(0,1000)\fscx25\fscy25\t(0,6000,\fscx125\fscy125)\cH000000\3cH00FFFF}anoXmous" "Anything goes" "Be careful." "You never told me you spoke my language, Dr. Jones." "Only on special occasions." "So, it is true?" "You found Nurhachi?" "You know I did." "Last night one of your boys tried to get Nurhachi without paying for him." "You have insulted my son." "No, you have insulted me." "I spared his life." "Aren't you going to introduce us?" "This is Willie Scott." "This is Indiana Jones, famous archeologist." "Well, I thought archeologists were always funny little men searching for their mommies." "Mummies." "Dr. Jones found Nurhachi for me, and he's going to deliver him now." "Say, who is this Nurhachi?" "Put the gun away, sonny." "I suggest you give me what you owe me or anything goes." "Open it." "The diamond, Lao." "The deal was for the diamond." "Oh, Lao..." "To your very good health." "Lao!" "He put a hole..." "He put two holes in my dress from Paris!" "Sit down!" "Now, you bring me Nurhachi." "My pleasure." "Who on Earth is this Nurhachi?" "Here he is." "This Nurhachi's a real small guy." "Inside are the remains of Nurhachi, first Emperor of Manchu Dynasty." "Welcome home, old boy." "And now, you give me the diamond." "Are you trying to develop a sense of humor, or am I going deaf?" "What's that?" "Antidote." "To what?" "The poison you just drank, Dr. Jones." "The poison works fast, Dr. Jones." " Lao." " Lao!" "You keep the girl." "I find another." "Good service here." "That's not a waiter." "Wu Han's an old friend." "Game's not over, Lao." "Antidote." "Indy..." "Don't worry, Wu Han, I'll get you out of here." "Not this time, Indy." "I followed you on many adventures, but into the great unknown mystery, I go first, Indy." "Don't be sad, Dr. Jones." "You will soon be joining him." "Too much to drink, Dr. Jones?" "Oh, nuts!" " The antidote." " Where's the diamond?" "No!" "Stay there!" "Come on." "I don't want to die!" "Who are you?" "Wow!" "Holy smoke!" "Crash landing!" "Short Round, step on it." "Okeydokey, Dr. Jones." "Hold on to your potatoes." "For crying out loud, there's a kid driving the car!" "Wow!" "Wow." "Where's the antidote?" "Let me have it." "Listen, I just met you, for Christ's sakes." "Give me..." "I'm not that kind of girl." "Hey, Dr. Jones, no time for love." "We got company." "Oh, I hope you choke." "No shooting." "Okay, you asked for it." "This is fun!" "Here, hold this." "Where's my gun?" "Where's my gun?" "I burned my fingers, and I cracked a nail!" "Dr. Jones..." "I'm Art Weber." "I spoke with your assistant." "We've managed to secure three seats, but there might be a slight inconvenience as you will be riding on a cargo full of live poultry." "Is he kidding?" "Madam, it's the best I could do on such short notice." "Heavens, aren't you Willie Scott, the famous American female vocalist?" "Owe you a gin." "Nice try, Lao Che." "Good-bye, Dr. Jones." "So, what are you supposed to be, a lion tamer?" "I'm allowing you to tag along, so why don't you give your mouth a rest?" "Okay, doll?" "What do you mean, "tag along"?" "Ever since you got into my club, you haven't been able to take your eyes off me." "Oh, yeah?" "Oh, no." "Oh, no!" "Mister, mister..." "Oh, mister, wake up." "Please, mister..." "You call him Dr. Jones, doll!" "Okay, Dr. Jones, Dr. Jones." "Oh, wake up, please!" "Are we there already?" "Oh, good." "No." " No one's flying the plane!" " Oh, boy..." "They've all gone!" "You know how to fly, don't you?" "No." "Do you?" "Oh, no." " Oh, my God!" " How hard can it be?" " I'm gonna faint." " Altimeter!" "Okay." "Air speed." "Okay." "Fuel..." "Fuel?" "I think we got a big problem." " Dr. Jones!" " Shorty!" "Dr. Jones!" "No more parachutes!" "Shorty!" " Come on, give me a hand!" " What's that?" "Move the box!" "Dr. Jones, you're crazy!" "Shorty, get our stuff!" "A boat?" "We're not sinking." "We're crashing!" "Grab on, Shorty!" "Grab on!" " Lady, I can't breathe!" " Tight!" "Slow it down!" "That wasn't so bad, was it?" "Put on the brakes!" "I hate the water, and I hate being wet, and I hate you!" "Good." "Good!" "Dr. Jones?" "I'm all right, Shorty." "You okay?" "Where are we, anyway?" "India." "How do you know that?" "I sure hope this means dinner." "God, I'm starving." "Thank you." "I can't eat this." "That's more food than these people eat in a week." "They're starving." "Oh, I'm sorry." "You can have..." "Eat it." "I'm not hungry." "You're insulting them, and you're embarrassing me." " Eat it." " Eat it." "Eat." "Bad news coming." "Can you provide us with a guide to take us to Delhi?" "I'm a professor." "I have to get back to my university." "Yes." "Sajnu will guide you." "On the way to Delhi, you will stop at Pankot." "Pankot is not on the way to Delhi." "You will go to Pankot Palace." "I thought the palace had been deserted since the 1850s." "No." "Now there is a new Maharajah, and again the palace has the power of the Dark Light." "It is that place kill my people." "What has happened here?" "The evil start in Pankot, then like monsoon," "it moves darkness over all country, over all country." "The evil?" "What evil?" "See?" "Bad news." "You listen to Suwamu." "You leave Lanka." "They came from palace and took Sivalinga from our village." "Took what?" "It's a stone, a sacred stone from a shrine that protects the village." "It is why Siva brought you here." "We weren't brought here." "Our plane crashed." "It crashed." "No, no." "We prayed to Siva to help us find the stone." "It was Siva who made you fall from the sky." "So you will go to Pankot Palace to find Sivalinga and bring back to us." "Bring back to us." "Dr. Jones, did they make the plane crash to get you here?" "No, Shorty, it's just a ghost story." "Don't worry about it." "They took the stone from here." "Was the stone very smooth like a rock from a sacred river?" "Yes." "With three lines across it representing the three levels of the universe." " That's right." " Yes." "I've seen stones like the one you lost." "But why would Maharajah take the sacred stone from here?" "They says we must pray to their evil god." "We says we will not." "Excuse me, I don't understand how one rock could destroy a whole village." "He's saying when the sacred stone was taken, the village wells dried up, and the river turned to sand." "The crops were swallowed by the earth, and the animals laid down and turned to dust." "Then one night there was a fire in the fields." "The men went out to fight the fire." "When they came back, the women were crying in the darkness." "Children." "He says they stole their children." "Sankara!" "Sankara..." "Ranjit!" "Sankara." "Little boy escaped from the evil palace." "Many other children still there." "What we do, Dr. Jones?" "What you think?" "I think that somebody believes the good luck rock from this village is one of the lost Sankara Stones." "What is Sankara?" "Fortune and glory, kid." "Fortune and glory." "Willie, quit monkeying around on that thing." "Oh, wait a second!" "Indy!" "I can't go to Delhi like this!" "We're not going to Delhi, doll." "We're going to Pankot Palace." "Pankot?" "I can't go to Pankot!" "I'm a singer." "Oh, I need to call my agent." "Is there a phone?" "Anybody, I need a phone!" "Oh, quit complaining." "This is expensive stuff." "You come to America with me, and we get job in circus." "You like that?" "You like America?" "You're my best friend." "What big birds!" "Those aren't big birds, sweetheart." "They're giant vampire bats." "Bats?" "Pipe down, you big baboon." "This doesn't hurt." "You know what you really need?" "You really need a bath." "Ha-ha, very funny." "Very funny." "All wet." "I was happy in Shanghai." "I had a little house and a garden." "My friends were rich." "We went to parties all the time in limousines." "I hate being outside!" "I'm a singer!" "I could lose my voice!" "I think we'll camp here tonight." "Cut it out." " What do you got?" " Two sixes." "Aha-ha, three aces." "I win." "Two more game, I have all your money." "It's poker, Shorty, anything can happen." "Where did you find your little bodyguard?" "I didn't find him, I caught him." "What?" "Shorty's family were killed when the Japanese bombed Shanghai." "He's been living on the streets since he was four." "I caught him trying to pick my pocket, didn't I, short stuff?" "Biggest trouble with her is the noise." "Hey!" "You cheat, Dr. Jones." "You cheat!" " What do you mean?" " You take four card." " You pay now." " Oh, they were stuck together." " No stuck." "No mistake." " They were stuck together." "It's a mistake." "I'm very little." "You cheat very big." "Dr. Jones, you cheat!" "You pay money." "You owe me ten cent." "Look at this." "Look at this." "You accuse me of cheating." "You're cheating." "You make me poor." "No fun." "Play with you no fun." " I quit." " I quit, too." "This place is completely surrounded." "The entire place is crawling with living things." "That's why they call it the jungle, sweetheart." "Oh, my God, what else is out there?" "Willie, wait..." "Willie, Willie..." "What is that?" "Is that short for something?" ""Willie" is my professional name, Indiana." "Hey, lady, you call him Dr. Jones." "My professional name." "Why are you dragging us off to this deserted palace?" "Fortune and glory?" "Fortune and glory." "Well... this is a piece of an old manuscript." "This pictograph represents Sankara, a priest." "Scram." "Gentle." "Gentle." "This is hundreds of years old." "Is that some kind of writing?" "Yeah, it's Sanskrit." "Cut it out." "It's part of the legend of Sankara." "He climbs Mount Kalisa where he meets Siva, the Hindu god." "That's Siva?" "And what's he handing the priest?" " Rocks." " Stop." "He told him to go forth and combat evil." "And to help him, he gave him five sacred stones with magical properties." "Magic rocks?" "My grandpa was a magician." "He spent his entire life with a rabbit in his pocket and pigeons up his sleeves." "He made a lot of children happy and died a very poor man." "Magic rocks." "Fortune and glory." "Sweet dreams, Dr. Jones." "Where are you going?" "I'd sleep closer, if I were you." "For safety's sake." "Dr. Jones, I'd be safer sleeping with a snake." "I said, cut it out!" "I hate that elephant." "Indy, look!" "I see it, Shorty." "That's it." "Pankot Palace." "Dr. Jones, what you look at?" "Don't come up here." "No!" "No, no, no, no!" "Don't leave!" "No!" "No, no, no, no, no!" "Oh, baby elephant, stay here!" "Oh, no!" "Indy!" "They're stealing our rides!" "We walk from here." "Hello." "I should say you look rather lost." "But then I cannot imagine where in the world the three of you would look at home." "We're not lost." "We're on our way to Delhi." "This is Miss Scott." "This is Mr. Round." "Short Round." "My name is Indiana Jones." "Dr. Jones, the eminent archeologist?" "Hard to believe, isn't it?" "I remember first hearing your name when I was up at Oxford." "I'm Chattar Lal, Prime Minister to His Highness, the Maharajah of Pankot." "I'm enchanted." "Enchanted." "Thank you very much." "Thank you very much." "Welcome to Pankot Palace!" "Enchanted, huh?" "Shorty, where's my razor?" "We are fortunate tonight to have so many unexpected visitors." " This is Captain..." "...Blumburtt." "11 th Poona Rifles." "And you, sir, are Dr. Jones, I presume." "I am, Captain." "Captain Blumburtt and his troops are on a routine inspection tour." "The British find it amusing to inspect us at their convenience." "I do hope, sir, that it's not inconvenient to you, sir." "The British worry so about their empire." "Makes us all feel like well-cared-for children." "You look beautiful." "I think the Maharajah is swimming in loot." "Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea coming here after all." "You look like a princess." "Mr. Lal, what do they call the Maharajah's wife?" "His Highness has not yet taken a wife." "How interesting." "Well, maybe it's because he hasn't found the right woman." "His Supreme Highness, guardian of Pankot tradition," "the Maharajah of Pankot," "Zalim Singh." "That's the Maharajah?" "A kid?" "Maybe he like older women." "Captain Blumburtt was just telling me something of the interesting history of the palace, the importance it played in the mutiny." "It seems the British never forget the Mutiny of 1857." "Yes, well, you know, I think there are other events, before the mutiny, going back a century, back to the time of Clive, that are more interesting." "And what events are those, Dr. Jones?" "Well, if memory serves me correctly, this area, this province, was the center of activity for the Thuggee." "Snake..." "Surprise." "What's the surprise?" "Dr. Jones, you know perfectly well the Thuggee cult has been dead for nearly a century." "Yes, of course." "The Thuggee was an obscenity that worshipped Kali with human sacrifices." "The British Army nicely did away with them." "Well, I suppose stories of the Thuggee die hard." "There are no stories anymore." "I'm not so sure." "We came from a small village." "The peasants there told us" "Pankot Palace was growing powerful again because of some ancient evil." "Village stories, Dr. Jones." "They're just fear and folklore." "You're beginning to worry Captain Blumburtt." "I'm not worried, Mr. Prime Minister, just interested." "What?" "You are not eating?" "I had bugs for lunch." "Give me your hat." "Why?" "'Cause I'm gonna puke in it." "You know, the villagers also told us Pankot Palace had taken something." "Dr. Jones, in our country, it's not usual for a guest to insult his host." "I'm sorry." "I thought we were talking about folklore." "Excuse me, sir, do you have anything simple, like soup?" "What exactly was it they say was stolen?" "A sacred rock." "You see, Captain, a rock!" "Something connected the villagers' rock and the old legend of the Sankara Stones." "Dr. Jones, we are all vulnerable to vicious rumors." "I seem to remember that in Honduras you were accused of being a grave robber rather than an archeologist." "Well, the newspapers greatly exaggerated the incident." "And wasn't it the Sultan of Madagascar who threatened to cut your head off if you ever returned to his country?" "No, it wasn't my head." "Then your hands, perhaps." "No, it wasn't my hands, it was my..." "My misunderstanding." "Exactly what we have here, Dr. Jones." "I have heard the evil stories of the Thuggee cult." "I thought the stories were told to frighten children." "Later, I learnt the Thuggee cult was once real and did of unspeakable things." "I am ashamed of what happened here so many years ago, and I assure you this will never happen again in my kingdom." "If I offended you, then I am sorry." "Dessert!" "Chilled monkey brains." "I think I'll just check on Willie." "That's all you better do." "Tell me later what happened." "Am-scray." "I've got something for you." "There's nothing you have that I could possibly want." "Right." "You're a very nice man." "Maybe you could be my palace slave." "Wear your jewels to bed, Princess?" "Yeah." "And nothing else." "That shock you?" "Nothing shocks me." "I'm a scientist." "So, as a scientist, you do a lot of research?" "Always." "And what sort of research would you do on me?" "Nocturnal activities." "You mean like what sort of cream I put on my face at night, what position I like to sleep in?" "Mating customs." "Love rituals?" "Primitive sexual practices." "So you're an authority in that area?" "Years of fieldwork." "I don't blame you for being sore at me." "I can be hard to handle." "I've had worse." "But you'll never have better." "I don't know." "As a scientist, I don't want to prejudice my experiment." "I'll let you know in the morning." "Why, you conceited ape." "I'm not that easy." "I'm not that easy, either." "Trouble with you is, Willie, you're too used to getting your own way." "And you're just too proud to admit that you're crazy about me, Dr. Jones." "If you want me, Willie, you know where you can find me." "Five minutes." "You'll be back over here in five minutes." "I'll be asleep in five minutes." "Five." "You know it, and I know it." "Five minutes." "Four and a half." ""Palace slave."" ""Nocturnal activities."" "I'm a "conceited ape"?" ""I'll tell you in the morning."" "I can't believe it." "He's not coming." "She's not coming." "I can't believe I'm not going." "Indiana Jones!" "This is one night you'll never forget!" "This is the night I slipped right through your fingers!" "Sleep tight, and pleasant dreams!" "I could have been your greatest adventure." "Dr. Jones, your whip!" "Shorty, turn off the switch." "Indy." "Be gentle with me." "But I'm here." "There's nobody here." "No, I'm here." "Indy, you're acting awfully strange." "Hey, I'm right here." ""Follow in the footsteps of Siva."" "What does that mean?" ""Do not betray these truths."" "Shorty, go get our stuff." "Stay behind me, Short Round." "Step where I step, and don't touch anything." "I step where you step." "I touch nothing." "Indy!" "I step on something." "Yeah, there's something on the ground." "Feel like step on fortune cookies." "It's not fortune cookies." "Let me take a look." "That's no cookies." "It's all right." "I got him." "Go." "There, go." "Stop." "Look, just stand up against the wall, will you?" "You say to stand against the wall!" "I listen to what you say!" " Not my fault!" "Not my fault!" " Willie, get down here!" "We're in trouble!" "Willie!" "Willie!" "Bet I get all dirty again." " Willie, get down here!" " Not my fault!" "We're in trouble!" "Trouble?" "Trouble?" "What sort of..." "This is serious!" "There are two dead people down here!" "There're going to be two dead people in here!" "Hurry!" "I've almost had enough of you two." "Willie!" "What's the rush?" "It's a long story, Willie." "Hurry, or you don't get to hear it." "God, what is this?" "Indy, what is this?" "I can't see a thing!" "Hurry!" "All right!" "I broke a nail." "Willie, hurry!" "They're in my hair!" "Shut up, Willie!" " Indy, let me in!" " No, let us out!" " Let me in!" " Let us out!" " Shut up!" " I'm down here!" "They're all over me!" "There's got to be a fulcrum release lever somewhere." "What?" "A handle that opens the door." " Go on!" " They're just, just square holes!" "Go to the right hole." "Hurry, Willie!" "The other one!" "The other right." "Your other right!" " The one on your right!" " There's slime inside!" "I can't do it." "You can do it." "Feel inside." "Okay." "You feel inside!" "Do it now!" "Okay!" "Willie, we are going to die!" "It's soft." "It's moving!" "Got it!" "Get 'em off of me!" "Get 'em off of me!" "They're all over me!" "Get 'em off me!" "No!" "It wasn't me!" "It's her!" "Come on!" "Go!" "Move!" "Come on, move!" "Come on!" "It's a Thuggee ceremony." "They're worshipping Kali." "Have you ever seen anything like this before?" "Nobody's seen this for a hundred years." "Kali Ma." "Kali Ma..." "Kali Ma!" "He's still alive." "Kali Ma." "That's the rock they took from the village." "It's one of the Sankara Stones." "Why they glow like that?" "The legend says when the rocks are brought together, the diamonds inside them will glow." "Diamonds?" "Diamonds." "Diamonds!" "Diamonds." "Hey, hey." "Look, I want you two to stay up here and keep quiet." "Shorty, you keep an eye on her." " Why, where are you going?" " Down there." "Down there?" "Are you crazy?" "I'm not leaving here without the stones." "You could get killed chasing after your damn fortune and glory!" "Maybe." "But not today." "Be careful." "Where's he going?" "Let me go!" "Run, Willie!" "Run!" "Dr. Jones!" "I keep telling you, you listen me more, you live longer." "Please, let me die." "I pray to Siva," ""Let me die," but I do not." "Now..." "Now the evil of Kali take me." "How?" "They will make me drink the blood of the Kali." "Then I'll fall into the Black Sleep of the Kali Ma." "What is that?" "We become like them." "We'll be alive, but like a nightmare." "You drink blood, you not wake up from nightmare." "You were caught trying to steal the Sankara Stones." "There were five stones in the beginning." "Over the centuries, they were dispersed by wars, sold off by thieves like you." "Thieves like me, huh?" "Still missing two." "A century ago, when the British raided this temple and butchered my people, a loyal priest hid the last two stones down here in the catacombs." "So that's what you've got these slaves digging for, huh?" "They're innocent children." "They dig for the gems to support our cause." "They also search for the last two stones." "Soon we will have all the five Sankara Stones, and the Thuggees will be all powerful." "What a vivid imagination." "You don't believe me?" "You will, Dr. Jones." "You will become a true believer." "Hi." "Dr. Jones!" "Don't drink, it's bad!" "Don't drink!" "Spit it out!" "Dr. Jones..." "You dare not do that." "Leave him alone, you bastards!" "The British in India will be slaughtered." "Then we will overrun the Muslims." "Then the Hebrew God will fall." "And then the Christian God will be cast down and forgotten." "Soon, Kali Ma will rule the world." "Dr. Jones..." "Kali Ma protects us." "We are her children." "We pledge our devotion to her with an offering of flesh..." "What are you doing?" "...and blood." "Your friend has seen, and she has heard." "Now she will not talk." "I'm not going to have anything nice to say about this place when I get back." "Indy!" "For God sakes, help me!" "What's the matter with you?" "No, no." "Come." "Indiana..." "Indiana, help us." "Please, snap out of it." "You're not one of them." "Please come back to us." "Don't leave me." "No!" "What are you doing?" "Are you mad?" "This can't be happening, this can't be happening." "Wake up, Willie, wake up." "No!" "No!" "No!" "No, no, no!" "Wake up, Dr. Jones, wake up!" "Dr. Jones!" "Indy, I love you." "Wake up, Indy!" "Wake up!" "You're my best friend!" "Wake up, Indy!" "Wait!" "Wait!" "He's mine!" "I'm all right, kid." "Mola Ram!" "Give me some slack!" "Willie, Willie, wake up!" "Willie, Willie, it's me!" "I'm back!" "Indy." "Indy, my friend." "I'm sorry, kid." "Indy, now, let's get out of here." "Right." "All of us." "No!" "I've got to save him!" " He can take care of himself." " He needs me." "I've got to save Indy!" "Okay, save him." "Drop him down!" "I kill you!" "Drop him down!" "What's the matter with him?" "Here." "Try this." "Go, Indy!" "It was the Black Sleep of Kali." "Short Round!" "Quit fooling around with that kid!" "Get down in the cart, now!" "Okeydokey, Indy!" "Please listen." "To get out, you must take the left tunnel." "Thank you." "Shorty!" "Quit stalling!" "Come on, Indy!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Shorty, look out!" " Come on!" " Indy!" "Hurry!" "Hurry!" "Hurry up!" "Indy, take the left tunnel!" "The left tunnel!" "No, Indy!" "You missed it!" "Left tunnel!" "We got company!" " Stop." " Let her go!" " Let go of the brake." " What?" " What?" " Let her go." "Our only chance is to outrun them." "Shorty?" "Come up here and take the brake." "Watch it on the curves, or we'll fly right off the track." "Okay." " What are you doing?" " Short cut." " Yes, Indy." " Short, cut." "Watch it!" "Indy, help!" " Hang on!" " Indy!" " Pull him in." " Let me go!" "Let me go!" "Let go of him!" "No!" "No!" "Pull him in!" " I'll catch him!" " No!" "Duck!" " All right." " What?" "Brakes." "Brakes." " Slow us down." " Okay." "Big mistake." "Big mistake, Indy." "Figures." "We're going too fast!" "Too fast!" "We're going to crash!" "Water, water, water!" " Look!" "Look there!" " Water!" " Fire!" "You're on fire!" " Water, water!" " Look..." " Water, water." "Water, water." "Come on." "Come on!" "Let's go!" "Run, run!" "Willie, look out!" "No!" "Head for the bridge." "Go!" "Come on, Willie, this way." "Oh, God." "Come on, let's go." "Strong bridge." "Look, strong wood." "Come on!" "Look!" "Shorty!" "Help!" "I'm falling down." "Help!" "Not very funny." "Back!" "Welcome." "Let her go, Mola Ram." "You are in a position unsuitable to give orders." "Watch your back!" "You want the stones, let 'em go." "Let her go!" "Drop them, Dr. Jones." "They will be found." "You won't." "Indy!" "Behind you!" "Oh, shit." "Go on." "Go." "Go on!" "Go on!" "Get moving." "Shorty..." "Hang on, lady." "We going for a ride." "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God!" "Is he nuts?" "He no nuts." "He's crazy." "Mola Ram, prepare to meet Kali in hell." "What are you doing?" "You fool!" "Indy, cover your heart!" "Cover your heart!" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, my God." " Look out!" " No!" "No!" "Come on." "Let's go!" "The stones are mine!" "You've betrayed Siva." "You betrayed Siva." "You betrayed Siva!" "Well, it's about time." "Hold your fire." "We know you are coming back when life return to our village." "Now you can see the magic of the rock you bring back." "Yes, I understand its power now." "You could've kept it." "What for?" "They'd just put it in a museum." "It'd be another rock collecting dust." "But then it would've given you your fortune and glory." "Anything could happen." "It's a long way to Delhi." "No, thanks." "No more adventures with you, Dr. Jones." "Sweetheart, after all the fun we've had together?" "If you think I'm going to Delhi with you, or anyplace else after all the trouble you've gotten me into, think again, buster!" "I'm going home to Missouri where they never feed you snakes, before ripping your heart out and lowering you into hot pits!" "This is not my idea of a swell time!" "Excuse me, sir." "I need a guide to Delhi." "If you could..." "Very funny."