"Welcome to Indonesia Selamat (Welcome in Indonesian)" "We are now in Sumatra and next we continue our journey to Lake Toba to fresh water, we have to get to fresh water as Tunna cannot swim in salt water you probably remember last episode coraldick is still in pain" "Two days in a row on the road start to get tiring and irritating" "Today, 1st 6 hours in boat, 5 hours in a minibus with your knees in your mouth and then 1 hour in a boat and finally we are here at lake Toba" "There are no cars, no cabs, but maybe someone gets us to a place called Tuk Tuk" "Everything is going be arranged" "Welcome to the world of healing vulcanic waters" "I had a nasty coral accident in Thailand and it got so bad now that a Thai doctor prescribed me for vulcanic soaking treatment" "The closest of that to us was the lake Toba in Sumatra which is the world's biggest crater lake" "Thus, presumably also the biggest soaking vase" "There was 75'000 years ago little ~10km wide volcano" "That exploded to thousands of pussyshingles (pillunpäre) and formed this crater lake which is 450 m deep at some points so you just and just fit standing straight to soak yourself" "Important architectonic information:" "In a typical Lake Tobaen house, you have this kind of attic / sleeping / relaxing place thus, perfect for reading, staring at the surface of Lake Toba" "lovemaking and for other nice activities" "Local Batak tribe sure knows how to build their houses so that they are good" "Another interesting feature is the entrance which are always very low so that the person entering always have to bow to the owner of course." "For example in my bungalow the entrance is really small so that Tunna has to enter forehead skin on a roll empty head banging against the floortiles which irritates him and pleases me much." "I am so excited about the idea of small entrance that I will build a small entrance my home in Kallio (Helsinki) despite of the cost" "Because I am the king and when you enter you bow to me, at all costs cover is a bit loose, some scratches, signs of falls in the handle, tire ok no major problems." "Here in Asia you should always when renting a motorbike or a "motorbike", this is a "pussybike" aka a scooter be careful of all the marks and scratches as the probability of them ripping you off is big" "when you bring the bike back the claim that you have fallen, broke some part and have to pay check the bike carefully, do even a list if that is all you can do" "the waterfall" "He takes me to soothing waters to rest" "Last 2 months we have been sweating with Tunna like PIGS!" "And now it feels really good to be in Lake Toba" "Reminds me of hot summers of my childhood in Finland." "Me, 13 year old in Helsinki at swimming stadium showing off with 3-stripe Adidas pants" ""soccer hair" (mullet with short hair on top), moustache and Marlboro on my mouth" "Brats get the fuck out when I jump, I do "milkkis", fuck "hämis", "omelettii", "kartsamaist" (styles of jumps) etc." "Oh those good ol' days, but the swimming stadium of Sumatra is simply better" ""Omeletti" (omelette) à la Sumatra" "Jungle juice known also as palm tree wine is done up there, you cut ... the germ of the coconut, in other words its uterus you ram up a knife through its G-spot and make a cut and slowly the juice starts to ooze out." "It takes 2-3 hours to get one glass." "very intoxicating and "flip outting" (flippauttava in Finnish) beverage" "Taste:" "palm tree-like coconut-like taste bouncing slighty "Väyrynen"-like (no good translation for this) oak-like abundant good, a bit like "sahti" or "sima" (Finnish home-brewed beer / trad." "Mayday drink) goes to your head fucking fast" "Vulcanic waters healed my genitals and this incident is never mentioned again, DOT!" "We are traveling away from Lake Toba and I have to say I will miss this" "This definitely goes to Top 5 spots of this trip or even to Number One" "It is very nice to come here to cool from the heat and humidity of the tropic some people come here for the famous and wild mushroom forests but we are not eating mushrooms and we go to Bali now" "before going to Bali and south of the Equator we came to take care of personal matters and replenish our supplies here in Penang, Malesia, little India of Georgetown" "Excellent place for self-care." "Stomach full of Indian food" "World's best shave and of course stimulants the case is the we got badly hooked with Tunna in India" "Tunna to these bidis (beedi), Indian cigarettes" "Greetings to all the the "vestibulemen" in home Finland" "This is not marijuana, this is Indian bidi cigarette, excellent" "and betel in my mouth no withdrawal symptoms, nothing and now we continue to journey, tripping" "Riku, Riku Where are we?" "Where are we?" " Fucksatan (Vittusaatana)" "Where are we?" "Where are we?" "Tell us" " Fuck" " Where are we going to?" "to Singapore" "Time to wake up" " No it is not" " Yes it is" " Still 15 minutes" "You have peed to your pants" " Get the fuck out!" "Midnight Express, stopover at Singapore I just smuggled the first time in my life" "This place is full of snitches, everything is forbidden" "." "They are going to rat me out" "Think what I did, chewing gum is forbidden here penalty of a fine or imprisonment" "I bought gum from Malesia, did a packet and pushed it up my ass" "." "Genuine bubble gum" "Fuck, taste of grapefruit, going to push this on the streets and the youth will like this so much 20 dollars a packet" "." "Buy now cannabis!" "Fuck!" "Buy cannabis" "Businesses dried a bit in Singapore and in general it started to get hot there" "We just landed to the Denpasar airport and hurtled here to Kuta" "Surfers found this Kuta beach in the beginning of the 70s" "And this became known for its good waves and the sand base" "In other words, even beginners can surf here" "Since then this has grown explosion-like and nowadays it starts to resemeble the Canary Islands or something like Mallorca" "Not worth to get stuck here but to jump in a car and start touring the island, good places can be found even within 50 km range" "Joint to the mouth and off we go" "Did as we told, so we rented an old crappy Jeep for 10eur and went to tour the island" "First stop is Ubud, where our old friend Vekku lives in so we are going to see him" "Well, it is hello, said the handsome ones to each other" "How is going Vekku, where are we?" " We are now in our village, in Penestan and we have ceremonies here that have been prepared for months" "You can feel the atmosphere, we have here Barong dancing today and women are beautiful and men are handsome like our handsome man said to each other" "The feeling is trance-like" "Do we get out from here?" " We can get out from here yes" "Tough action, fuck very tough action" "Have to work long hours" "Hello, My name is Vekku and I am from Helsinki" "I have been traveling since year 1992 and" "I first ended up here to Bali after my studies" "I studied wood engraving and spent a year here" "I fell in love to this beautiful island and to these beautiful people, and the free life." "Then I met my woman Valerie" "Then we started to work together" "And after all the mistakes and learning the hard way we set up this store where we are now" "We do luminaires and furniture." "There is a good atmosphere/vibe here." "Life is not always being under the palm tree" "It is hard work when you are not living in your own country" "All the rules are different, and rules must be learnt" "Traveling without moving but still you are moving all the time" "Magnificent feeling" "Next destination?" "Unknown" "Africa interests me a lot" "WARNING!" "Next recipe can shock children and sensitive adults" "The concept of meat animals among Bali culinarists deviate from Western views" "You are going to go pot soon to get roasted" "Welcome to Madventures cooking show" "Culinary journey to the most disgusting cuisines of the world" "Today we are in Bali, province of Udut, in a village of Bunutan" "Our friends, dogmen Made and Made have promised as visiting chefs to cook us delicious Lassie (Ransu (Fin))" "A bit of the background of the dog:" "the dog was taken from the street good grip from the neck and to the bag, to the head with a stick and off you go dogs' heaven then hang the dog like now and we start to cut it up" "desking (flay) it take out the skin for a nice fur hat or mittens from a cat" "So the best parts of the dog are exposed as we are going to do famous Bali Satay skewers so a dog satay, next we go the kitchen" "Why you must run?" "." "We like you" "Good?" "You like?" " Yeaah" "There in the home kitchens you probably think of what parts of the dog you especially want to cook for food and the following tips, the best parts are of course cutlets, thighs, etc., inner filet." "And a bit of intestines and we wash them on the river" "But you don't do anything with the head of the pooch" "No brains, no eyes, no ears, no tail at all and when this is all useless we throw the brain of the pooch head to the river surely tasty for the lizards" "Goodbye pooch" " Goodbye!" "Pretty nicely straight with a tuck (diving terminology)" "9 point 8 points" "There were a grilling an Anjing Sate traditional Bali skewer dogkebab" "We have two models, first the best parts of the dog: thigh and the bicep" "They are sliced to tiny cubes and bit rolled them on the fire" "We put tomato sauce, a bit of coconut oil, and very little salt and cooked" "Let the skewers be prepared." "But, in addition to that we have special skewers:" "the lungs, really good part." "But hey don't think that you should throw away rest of the dog" "When you are about to 'make cold' your own little pet" "You definitely do not throw everything away" "You take the best parts as skewers and use rest of the dog to make soup" "We take intestines, other meat parts and throw to a kettle" "I advice that you take a good hassle of spices, here we have that spice hassle" "Hassle (hässäkkä)" "We have.." "I cheat a bit:" "We have chili," "We have chili, suno" "We have chili, suno, ?" "We have chili, suno, ?" ", garam" "And we put quite a lot of salt, so put just a big dose of salt and coconut oil, and as a herb lemon grass, you will find it somewhere and just let it cook on the fire so you get a good starter soup" "meat soup meat soup, dog soup meat soup, dog soup, pooch soup meat soup, dog soup, pooch soup, hound soup meat soup, dog soup, pooch soup, hound soup, doggy soup" "And the name of the game is that..." "When you have eaten the soup we attack the skewers" "But don't worry, don't write down this you homecooks there on your desks" "Go to the internet before you start cooking a dog nothing else here, they are about to be ready we start be rather hungry all so we start eating here" "Enough of fooling around, it is time for rock-paper-scissors" "As you know we take a match of RPS (KPS in Finnish) of who of us has to eat the dog and who gets to be behind the camera." "It is rather stressing for real." "As it is a straydog that we took and has eaten whatever schait (shit-scheisse mixed)" "It might have trichina and other parasites in its muscles" "Fellow dogs smell that are eating his friend and they are all mad hell of barking around going on" " C'mon, let's take the match" " I have lost every match before this, Now vegetarien-Tunna, vegetableclown aka bunny will lose" " Loser-Riku" " What the hell?" "Not with 1. 1,2,3!" "1 2" "3 1" "2 3" "always, always, always" "How can it be always so, dude fooled me with those scissors, fucking pig satan!" "C'mon, off you go to eat!" " Fooled with scissors, fuck!" "I guess nothing else to do than that" "Smells like a dog, like a wet dog" "I dedicate this starter soup to our now past away Jessi-dog" "." "It has 150 .. thousand parasites" " Shut Up!" " Worms and.." " Shut up!" "Vomiting back is right there next to you" " Shut up!" "This is steak for me, I only think of steak." " Is water allowed here in middle of eating" "Go back to your home!" "Wouldn't be allowed?" "Did you threw it away as soon as I let my eyes off you?" "The ass of a straydog goes to my mouth, fuck!" "tough is the devil (the meat)" "C'mon there is quite a lot to eat still." " Be silent!" "Do you feel like vomiting?" "Don't joke as I might vomit and then it is going to be really embarassing that is fucking embarassing if I vomit now" "The only thing that makes this hard is the thought it was, fuck barking straydog straydog, that was taken rather brutally" "Dudes grabbed it by the ear and tossed it to the bag and hitting with a stick" "But still does taste when you hear the massive barking in the background?" "They know what will happen tonight yelling dogs and hounds fucking with you" "After this when dog comes to show off to me I know what to do to that" "Start eating the lung now" " Ok" "Well.." "looks quite burnt the lungs" "I think that your smoker's lungs look a bit the same" "I don't what the trickster has been breathing, I am thinking about it" "Pure jungle air..." "definitely not" "By the street barking all its life in the scent of fumes" "Really, really repulsive" "Leaves just plain horrible taste to my mouth" "No?" "For Sure?" "Hey hey, there is still two skewers to go" "Did you hear what I said?" " "meal smoke"" " "Meal smoke" is smoked _after_ the meal" " Exactly" "What?" "Heyheyhey..." "I cannot describe it in words, but the lungs are simply horrible" " You gotta eat them!" " Seriously, I cannot do it" "Now I fucking chicken out, I cannot do it." " Then you vomit!" "Well I cannot fucking vomit to the yard of these people for fuck's sake" "You tell them that your stomach is aching" "Go for it when Captain commands you" " Fucking shut up now!" " Do you feel like a loser now?" "Now it is over, Tunna." "Now it is over." "No way?" " Over." "Over." "How does it taste like?" "Is it gourmet cuisine?" "Fuck, you could not have done that." "You couldn't have even fucking taste that" "I don't have to taste because I win" "I don't fucking understand where that luck is coming from but next time I beat you" "Remember what I said the next time when that fucking.." "that little bunny gets to eat some horrible shit and we will find that shit for you" "Friend has been eaten and they cry out of pain." "Seriously it is over now." "It is over." "Cut" "WAS THAT SHOCKING?" "Think of that the next time when you eat tailless pig lived on a grill for all of its live or a chicken fattened in narrow space." "The dog you just saw lived in freedom" "After the culture and handcraft tour of Udut" "We decided to go and learn more about the national sport of Bali:" "Surfing" "Indonesia is one the best places in the world to surf" "Because you get strong winds directly from Antarctica without obstacles and waves are really in par with that fact" "From every island you should have at least one world-class giantmegawave beach" "We have heard that you would find that here in Bali from Bingin's Impossible Beach" "We are going to that direction, let's all go to a surfing safari" "I got to get there." "I will go there even if I would drown" "I know that I can't take those waves for 3 years, but I go, I got to go." "Something must be done I just cannot sit and look at the sea" "Hello, good afternoon here from Bingin (in Spanish)" "it was not the "opiskelijaunelma" they wanted = "student dream" (in Finnish)" "They would have wanted that I would have studied more and surfed less but when..." "Oh damn (voi vitsi) Oh damn (voi vitsi)" "But Just a second" "Also my parents and whole of family are from Finland" "I have never lived in Finland and haven't born there" "But I have Finnish nationality and I even had to go to Upinniemi to serve in Finnish Navy 10 years ago" "What else?" "Bingin.. this is an awesome place." "I think I could stay here for good" "You could spend weeks and weeks here." "Weeks and week?" "(viikkokaupalla)" "We have been observing couple of days the waves of Binging and Tunna starts to be in exctacy" "Dude wanted so bad to learn how to surf but sadly I cannot let him go for safety reasons" "The currents are really unpredictable and the coral reef under the water is supersharp" "So not for Tunna." "So where he could learn how to surf?" "Kuta Beach is out of question, even though they have nice beach break and good waves but there is too much people, in other words it is "from the bowel"" "In Java you have the legendary G-land but is that not meant for novices" "But luckily I have kept my ears open and done some "slapping interrogations"" "and I have found a secret spot" "Island called Sumba in east Indonesia close to East Timor" "From there you should find a mysterious place with a beach break sand base, good waves, and even beginners are welcomed" "and travellers do not go there a lot so there shouldn't be a lot of people" "Maybe there Tunna can learn how to surf and I have programmed to number of ambulance helicopter to my cell if he tries to go to the water what I suspect to happen" "normally we would take a boat to Sumba but now we take a plane sadly the boat was broken for some reason, so this is the only way to get there fast costs like 80 eur which is ok, scary propeller plane" "." "In the bag we have sirih pinang, ingredients needed for betel which are needed in a minute as we made a contact to a local village" "And we are heading, as it is the local custom to get us approved by the local leaders before accessing the remote forests" "In that near by village, there is a king and a queen" "They govern the small area around here." "The whole island is full of kings and queens" "But we go to see our own king" "Offer him some betel" "Maybe smoke a tobacco of peace and got us approved" "If we do not get the approval, it might be that the heads of Rantala and Milonoff are on a top of a pole, so let's see what happens" "Saya dari Finlandia (?" ") = I am from Finland" "." "." "Riku: ." "Queen: ." "It was hard in the end to get the approval" "The Royal couple checked us long and thoroughly" "And among others the tattoo (leima) was thought to be the devil" "I however managed to deny that" "Nothing much there, we chewed some betel smoked some cigarettes" "King was suspicious, very suspicious" "But then we found the ace from our sleeve:" "good ol' reindeer antler (horn) powder" "Well-standing erect dick raises interest in all cultures" "It was our ace and we managed to continue our journey" "Under the protection of the king and not as any outlaws" "But this was still rather easy, think about it how it was 30 years ago" "Then a young Australian adventurer" "Surf board on his shoulder riding on a horse" "Slashing a machete hunting for perfect waves" "Of course the king back then arrested immediately the adventurer" "Tied he up to a tree and threatened to kill him, but.." "but with smooth verbal skills, the adventurer in question managed to get him out of the trouble" "Later, the king even adopted him as his own son and later the adventurer married the daughter of the king, i.e. the princess" "And this is a true story, this happened 1973" "The adventurer in question was an Australian man called Mister David" "Who stayed here for good and set up a surfing camp here" "And still enjoys the place very much" "We came to say hello to David, to the village of Kelala" "Potheaded picturegame (blossipäinen kuvaleikki)" "Riku" "Riku" " Satan, what the fuck (Saatana, mitä vittua)" "Perkele" "Riku, there is snake in your bed" " Get the fuck out!" "Heyhey... we gotta go to surf" "I kill the snakes" "We go to surf, you heard me?" " Yeah yeah (joojoo)" "Wakeup" " Fuck" " What?" "You cannot sleep here the whole day" "I know." "Let's go .. go to surf" "No worries being here" "No need to paddle much" "Translation:" "Jean Pierre Finlandais"