"What is this having-a-picnic shit in my car?" "Please, man, I'm not getting my sex at home." "Don't deny me this." "You sleep with a beautiful woman every night." "I'm married." "That's what married means." "It means you sleep together, but you can't get none." "Watch it with all that shit, all right?" "Look, where's your cup holders?" " I don't have one." " You don't have one?" "$80,000 for this car, and you ain't got no cup holder?" "It's $105,000." "This is one of the fastest production cars on the planet." "Zero to sixty in four seconds, sweetie." "This is a limited edition." "You damn right it's limited." "No cup holder, no backseat." "It's a shiny dick with two chairs in it." "I guess we the balls just dragging the fuck along." "Damn." "Sorry." " Get it." " I can't get down there." "You got an engine floor up here." "My shit won't go down in there." "Go." "Titty-titty, strutty-strutty." "Go on." "Make them want it." "I ain't your wife to be cleaning up after you." "Watch my hand." "My shit can't get down there." "It gets stuck." " You come up with this shit." " Get that fry." "This ain't no goddamn Denny's." "Don't eat in my car." "I wouldn't buy shit from Denny's." "I don't like the way we been treated." "They bit, Jack." "Let's skank these fools." "You ain't interested in the fry." "You all up in that." " Get out of the car, man." " Shit." " What the fuck?" " Me and my team have had a big week... so just get the fuck out of the car." "Damn." "What are you weighing, 350?" "I bet you're a big chicken-eating motherfucker." " Get the fuck out." " I always get the big motherfuckers." " Get out of the car now!" " All right!" " Hold on." " Now this is some funny shit." "Let me tell you how bad a day you're having." "You're jacking two cops." "Yeah?" "I'm a stand-up comedian, and I suck!" " That's why I need your car." " I ain't no Wesley Snipes." "I just hang out with stupid-ass friends that drive stupid-ass cars... that attract a lot of motherfucking attention!" "I need to jump over this car and smack you in your head." " You're arguing over a French fry!" " It's not about the French fry!" "It's about your lack of respect for other people's property!" " Shut the fuck up!" " This shit is stupid." "Hold the fuck on!" "You want something bad enough?" "Come get some!" "You like that shit?" "Wesley Snipes, Passenger57." "Now give me a motherfucking Handiwipe." "Let's hear one of those jokes, bitch." "What do you think, guys?" "Looks like the real thing." "You remember your assignment?" "Yeah, I'm the decoy." "Yes, you are." "What the fuck you doing?" "Hello." "Police?" "I just saw a policeman shot on South Miami and First Street." "Help, please." "All units, officer down." "Officer down." "Respond code three." "All units in the vicinity, respond and identify." "This is Air Unit Two." "We've got a full perimeter." "Officer down." "We need additional ground units." "Air Three, roger." "Suspector suspects unknown." "Gentlemen, it's clear." "We're inside." " We're in." " You got 20 minutes." "Goddamn taco is gonna kill me." "Guys, you got 12 minutes." "Let's go." "Clear." "We're in." "Move your ass." "We've got six minutes." "Ready." "Ready to fire." "Go!" "Fire!" " Clear." " Go." "Come on!" "Let's go!" "Get out of here!" "Move it!" "Damn." "Did you have sweet dreams?" "You're so nasty." "You're always saying you want quality time." "Right now, I got the time and you damn sure got the quality." " Come on now." " You know what it is?" "I can't remember the last time we fell asleep together." "Baby, it's my job." "It's what it requires." "I'm a better cop when I get some in the morning." " I feel lighter on my feet." " Keep it in your pants, baby." "I hear three little Burnetts coming down the hall." "That's cold." "You're leaving me here like a humping dog." " Hi, baby boy." " Mommy." " Boy, what's up?" " Daddy!" "Dad, at school, people say I look weird." "They say my ears look funny." "Boy, your daddy has that same problem." "I got the ears." "You know what?" "They just out there for you to listen to people's problems." "You're an angel." "These are your wings." "That's all." "James, stop." "Would you take them off..." "Your ears are better for you to listen with." "Don't let me come down to school." "I'll arrest the principal." " Mom!" " What?" " James keeps pushing me!" "Quit it!" " Talking about my boy's ears." "Do what your mama said." " Uncle Mike's in the house." " What's up, Uncle Mike?" " Partner." " What's going on?" "Quincy, check it out." " Why did you take my food?" " Hey, girl." "Don't kiss me." "I don't know where your lips were last night." "Move." "Uncle Mike, did you have a date last night?" "Did I!" " Let me tell you, boy." "This girl was..." " Hey!" "Don't tell my son your sleazy sex stories." "I only tell your husband my sleazy sex stories." "I don't want him knowing about them either; gives him ideas." "Why you putting me in this?" "I'm with my babies." " Thank you." " Hello?" " Eat." "Go on, girl." " No problem." " You're on the mike with Mike." " Want Daddy to wipe your mouth?" "I think you mean to say, "Get our asses down there, please", Captain." " Now!" " Maybe not." "What's up, boy?" " Hey, baby!" " Hey, Francine." "Where's Howard?" "He's down there." "He's looking for you." "He's been in better moods." "Damn." "Get it done, goddamn it." "Welcome to our nightmare, boys." "See this?" "What's wrong with this picture?" "Remember this room?" "Don't these flats look familiar?" "There were these silver packets." "They looked like bricks." "Little red tags on them, about so high." " All that heroin is gone." " This was our career bust... worth $100 million." " Gone." " This is bad." "No, let me call it what it is." "This is fucked up." " You got that right, detective." " Hello, Alison." "You guys know Captain Sinclair, Internal Affairs' top watchdog." "I'd actually take that as a compliment if I didn't know you so well." "Excuse me, but if you two want to get personal, I could step out..." "There's nothing personal here." "I'm just doing my job." "I love knowing that one leak... one headline could turn this nightmare into a media frenzy." "That won't happen." "We'll get the dope back before that ever happens." "Good." "Start by looking right here." "This had to be an inside job, and I'll find out about it." "Sanchez, Ruiz, you're late." "Somebody put this in for toxic drug fumes." "Yeah, this was a brilliant design." "This was really intelligent." "I like this." "I didn't ask how he feels." "I said, "What did he see?"" ""What does he know?"" "Where werey'all last night?" "Have your cousins bring the shit back, and we can all get some sleep." "We were gonna do that, but we came up with a problem." "Your mama snorted up all the dope." "You two, get over there." "O'Fee will be all right, but he's got nothing to tell us." "So they kill a decoy, it empties the station." "Very smart." "But they don't kill a real cop because they had the whole force on their ass." "This was your case." "You're back on it." "Sanchez, Ruiz, you back them up with whatever they need." " Shut your mouths." " But wait a second." "It was Carrera's drugs in the first place." "But it couldn't have been him because he was killed in prison." "What about the rest of his crew?" "Those idiots don't have the precision to do this, but... just in case I'm wrong, you check them out." "They'd have been up here with Uzis, splashing O'Fee all over the place." "Takes a lot of brains to pull this off." " Big cojones too." " What the hell are you talking about?" "It would take me a month to explain to you what cojones is." " You're in Miami." "You don't know..." " In English." "What's the matter with you?" "We've got nothing!" "The guy who pulled this off knew what he was doing... and he left us nothing but a big "Fuck you."" "Find out who installed the ventilating system." "Do that now." " That's cold." " Yeah, so is your mama's bed." "This could definitely be an inside job." "Don't rule it out." "We've got 72 hours before the FBI and the DEA... walk in here and shut us down, and we'll be the bad guys." "Politics demand that somebody take the rap for this." "It's going to be us." "Just do what you do, only faster." "Jojo, what's up?" "You're still a chemist, right?" "Cutting drugs and shit like that?" "I don't know nothing about that." "I'm out of the drug business." " You know something." " You don't know nothing?" "I just said no to drugs." " What are you into, Jo?" " I'm into rubber." " You're selling tires?" " Yeah." " Jojo don't know nothing." " Nothing." "I know tires." " You're telling me the truth?" " Would I lie to you?" " Would you lie to me?" " I'm driving." " Man, this is a waste of time." " Come on." "In Max's line of work, she definitely gets the 411." "Maxi!" "How did I know I would find you up in here?" "We have to talk." "Is there someplace we can go?" "Yeah." "Equipment room?" " Behave yourself." " I'm cool." "Listen, I need some help, again." "What else is new?" "Major ill shit happened down at the police department." "There's a lot of hero in involved." "There will be a lot of cash involved." "There will definitely be some jolly young men who want to party." "What do you need?" "A lot of people will talk to you that won't talk to me." "You mean customers?" "I'm not asking you to get into any wild shit." " Just call me if you hear something." " I think I will call you." "What the hell are you doing?" "Trying to keep my shit quick." "That's right." "You ain't getting none at home." "You got extra energy." "Go ahead." "Burn it off, baby." "We got anything, Francine?" "Sanchez says the air-conditioning contract went... to Manuel Arrona of Key Biscayne." "He's working out of his house this week." "That's the number." "He's not answering." "I guess we should just leave." "What?" "Make a trip all the way down here to high society for nothing?" "That's why they have windows." " We can peek in." " Yeah, that should do it." " I tripped." " The handle just opened?" "Right after I tripped, it just opened." "I guess they want us to come in, take a peek." "Hello?" "We're your new neighbors." "Don't be alarmed." "We're Negroes." "Man, there's too much bass in your voice." "That scares white folks." "You've got to sound like them." "We were wondering if we could borrow some brown sugar?" " You fart?" " No, man." "Dead guy." "Looks like somebody's home." "Let me take a stab at this one." "He sells the ventilation plans to the bad guys." " He gets rich, but he gets dead." " You're right on that one." " I'll go call Homicide." " Whoa." "Wait." "Why do you act like this every time we're around a dead body?" "It's cool." "I just..." "Please, look around." "The smell and the fumes..." "It's just unexpected, that's all." "Looks like our buddy Arrona was a bit of a gambler." "He's got dog track, jai alai." "Probably needed the money to pay off his debts." "Bookie." " Whoops." " Damn, man." "Watch where you're swinging a dead leg." "My bad." "Damn this." "I'm calling Homicide." "I'm a narcotics cop." "Dead bodies." "Dead ends." "Maggots." " What's wrong with you?" " A little nauseous..." "I'm gonna..." "What do you say we grab a couple burritos?" "You drive almost slow enough to drive Miss Daisy." "Man, the transaction is done, all right?" " We ain't got shit, so it's over." " Relax." "We got it before." "We'll get it again." "Yeah, you got it all figured out, don't you?" "You got to have faith, player." "By the time we figured out how, we'd be out of a job." "No, scratch that." "Everybody in the damn unit will be out of a job." "But don't worry." "They tend to think Mike Lowrey will be all right." "Especially since they think you some rich kid playing cop." "Look, man, I ain't got no trust fund." "For me:" "No job, no check." "That's like all the other guys in the unit." "Most of us." "So I'm playing cop now?" "This is a game." "I'm just joking around." "You always wanted to be Starsky or Hutch." "Know what?" "I'm so sick of this bullshit." "I'm supposed to apologize for my family leaving me money?" "All I ever wanted to be was a cop." "I get up early and take it to the max every day." "I'm the first guy through the door and the last to leave the crime scene... so fuck you and fuck them... and fuck everybody who got a problem with Mike Lowrey." " I love you, man." " Fuck you, Marcus." "I do." "You're cool with me." "You're my partner." "Shut up." "Slow-ass driver." " Driving like a bitch." " Why I got to be all that?" " Slow-ass Miss Daisy." " I'll take me and you off this cliff... you keep fucking with me." "Then it will be two bitches in the sea." " Is that what you want?" " Shut up." "My wife know I ain't no bitch." " Yeah." " I'm a bad boy." "Bad boys, bad boys What you gonna do" "What you gonna do when they come for you" "Shelly, only models, and that's all." "Max just dropped by." "I have to go." "Bye." "You want me to call around looking for the newly rich?" "Are there any new guys partying a lot, spending a lot of money?" "Actually, this guy called me this morning, desperate... every two hours..." "looking for new girls in town." "Are you available this afternoon?" " It will be a quick $2,000." " I've got plans with Julie." " She's your roommate, right?" " Yeah." "Bring her." "She's cute." "She's sexy." "Go on." " She's not a working girl, Lois." " Doesn't matter." "He's on speed-balls." "He's probably so messed up, he can't even get it up." "Maybe we'll go check it out." "It could be the party I'm looking for." "A party at the Bilt more?" "That will really rock." " Julie, I owe you one." " Forget about it." "I'll just deduct it from the hundreds of favors I already owe you." "Am I turning into the guest that won't leave?" "I like having you live with me." "I'm an out-of-work photographer who doesn't know how to cook." " Not a big upside for you there." " Come on." "What incredibly hip individual inspired this visit to the Bilt more?" " It's a favor for Mike Lowrey." " Right." "The cop who I think you may be a little bit in love with." "Maybe I am, but we're just friends." "And if I were ever in trouble, he's the only person I would call." "I know." "I think I've heard this before." " Hello." " Hi." "You must be Max." "Welcome." "I'm Eddie." "The Al Capone suite." " I guess we're a little early." " This is my friend, Julie." "You like Al Capone, don't you?" "I hadn't really thought about it much." "I'm not kidding about this being Capone's." "He had the place rigged with secret passageways." "Ten minutes, we're out of here." " Five." " One drink." " What's the whispering about?" " One sip." "It's Eddie here." "Just girl chat." "Where's the bathroom?" "Upstairs on your right." "Watch your step." "Come." "Sit." "Enjoy yourself." "Relax." "Eddie's got some favors to play with." "Yes, Eddie does." "I should have told you sooner about Eddie's private party." "Now it's a surprise party." "Okay, Max, we've been here about five minutes too long." "I see you treat yourself well." "Yeah." "I needed to blow off a little steam after the move, you know?" "So a little party with a couple of friends." "That's all." "I was gonna invite you guys." "Invite?" "It looks like I'm catering this." "I was looking for my 2 keys of dope, and now I know where they are." "Yours?" "It's our score." " And the girl?" " Nobody." " Just entertainment." " Hi, I'm Max." "Nice to meet you." "I like a woman who takes pride in her appearance." "Don't you?" "Yeah, I hate when a bitch lets herself slide." "You look like a model in that dress." "Will you model for me, Max?" "Great." "It's the goon squad." "You were a cop for so long, you should know hookers talk." "You couldn't wait four more days until I made the deal?" "I can't work with that kind of stupidity!" "Stupidity?" "I got you connected inside!" "I brought you my family." "Eddie, it's my family now." "Fouchet, we're still friends." " What are you guys doing?" " You pissed him off." "Use a smaller gun." "You got blood on me again." " Somebody's upstairs." " Where?" "Go!" "Get her!" "Move, Fergie!" "Get her!" "What the fuck?" "Fucking shoes suck!" "Get her!" " God!" " Move it!" "Go!" "Shoot her!" " I got her." "Bullshit." " I got her." "No, I got her." "What do you know about shooting?" "I can't believe she made it." " Jesus." " Are you serious?" " She jumped." " Fuck." "Find out who she worked for and where she lives." "It's about fucking time." "Lowrey, Burnett, come here!" "Look at this." "You see this guy?" " He's dead, right?" " Yeah." " He look familiar?" " Eddie Dominguez." " The ex-cop." " Two points for you." "There's some of our high-grade heroin over there." "Sinclair will love that headline." "There's no signs of forced entry." "What the fuck is all this?" "It looks like Beirut." "It's the Al Capone suite." "What can I say?" "Shit happens." "This is a real shitty day." "Looks like we have two shades of lipstick here, gentlemen." "Somebody is missing from the party." "Listen to me." "Your only function in life right now is to find that person." "Find her." "It's the only good lead we got all day." "Man, I'll check all calls to the room." "What you got over there, partner?" "Cover her." "He knew the girl?" "Look, man... we'll get the witness and the fools who did this." "Yeah." "Listen, catch a ride with Howard." " Where you going?" " Eight calls were made to Lois Fields." "That's who Max used to work for." "I'll check that out." " I'll come with you." " I'm all right." "We'll catch up later." " You okay?" " I'm cool." "Hello?" "Shit." "Yeah, baby." "Look, I know quality time was my idea." " Don't talk about quality time." " But..." "Hold on, baby." "Look here, I need a full file on Eddie Dominguez." " That will take a minute." " Hold on." " Marcus, I got on there done." " Baby?" "You have on the red one?" "The one with the snaps?" " Why couldn't you wait till..." " You're never home." " Theresa..." "Hold on." " All his files are blocked." "I don't give a damn about his personal files." " The man's dead." "Unblock it." " Screw you." "That's illegal." "Screw you!" " Fucking..." " Marcus, are you talking tome?" "I'm not talking to..." "It's a term you use, baby." " "Screw you" is a cop term." " You ain't screwing nothing!" "Goddamn it!" "Where's Lowrey?" "I just paged him." "He's following up this Lois Fields lead." "The madam?" "21-2, request backup." "614 Reach Road." "Don't mess with us." "That might be him." "Yeah." "Lowrey's desk." "I need to talk to Detective Mike Lowrey." "This is Captain Howard." "Can I help you?" "You can get me Lowrey." "This is not another paternity case, is it?" "No, it's another murder case, you twerp." "Are you talking about the murder case at the Biltmore Hotel tonight?" "Listen, I've just seen my best friend get murdered... and I'll only talk to Mike Lowrey." "Why only Mike Lowrey?" "I have a detective here..." "None of your fucking business." "Either I talk to Lowrey or I'm blowing town." "Mike, telephone!" "He's coming right now." "Hold on, please." " Talk to her." " I ain't got time for these games." "This is the witness, the girl at the hotel." "Yeah, he just got out of the john." "Hold on." "Talk to her." " If you don't talk to her, she'll walk." " Captain, I can't be Mike." "Just talk to her now." "She's gonna walk." " This is our witness." " Calm down." "Hello." "This is Mike Lowrey." "He doesn't talk that way." "Try to talk sexy." " Come on." " You don't sound sexy enough." "Captain!" "I've been there." "You don't know me." "My name's Julie Mott." "I was Max Logan's best friend." "Whoa." "Calm down." "Talk to me now." " Yeah." " She said if she ever needed anything" "I need your help." "Give me the address." "All right." "It's gonna be all right." "Mike's to the rescue." " I'm on the way." "All right." " I'll see if I can find Lowrey." " I can't go." " You have to go." " Go!" " Get Mike down here to handle this." "Get to this address now." "Get out of the chair." " You won't see your wife for a month!" " Goddamn it, man." "Get this fucking door fixed." "Easy." "Shit." " Who's there?" " Mike Lowrey." "How do I know it's Mike Lowrey?" "'Cause I'm Mike Lowrey." "We ain't got much time." "Hold your badge up to the peephole." "I'm not letting you in until you do!" "No way." " What was that for?" " You're not Mike Lowrey!" "What do you mean?" "You never even met him... me." " Max described you differently!" " I'm undercover!" " All right!" " Prove it!" "I knew Max from way back." " I helped her brother get out of jail." " Yeah, so?" "So, from time to time, we'd get together, a little bump and grind." " Wrong." " Give me that!" "Give me the bat!" "You want to go out?" "Fine!" "You don't want to believe me, you go at this shit alone!" "I forgot!" "The bad guys probably know where you live." "Which means they're coming for your ass." "Good luck." "I saw the whole thing." "I watched them shoot her like she was nothing." "Please shut the door." "Look, lady... do you have any more bats, golf clubs... or anything like that you could swing at me?" "I knew Max." "I care about Max also." "I'm just here to help you." "You're not what I expected." "I didn't expect to walk into Yankee Stadium either." "Now, we have to get out of here." "Let's go." "I have to get my dogs." "Come here, Dukie." "Come here, Lukie, Dukie, whatever." "You got a back door?" "Where are we going?" " Protective custody." " Fuck that." "I'm only dealing with you." "That was a cop that threw that little party back at the Biltmore." "Former cop." "We got rid of him a long time ago." " Come on, Luke." " Listen, lady." "If you want to live, you ain't got no choice." "You got to trust me." " My God!" " Go!" "Move!" "Run!" " Get the dog!" " Here, doggie!" "Jesus Christ!" "Who the hell was that?" " Let's go!" " There is too much killing going on!" " Go after them!" "I'll go around front!" " I got them!" "Come on!" "Move your ass!" "Let's go!" "Fuck." " Get in the car!" " Damn it." " Go, goddamn it!" " Fucking door!" "How did you miss them?" "You fat fuck!" "Watch your fucking mouth!" "If you'd lose some weight, you would have caught them!" "I'd like to squeeze your little fucking head, you bastard!" "Now you're in fucking trouble!" " You get the license plate?" " Yeah, I got the fucking plate." "You cockeyed fuck." "This is your getaway car?" "We won't get away from anything in this." "Is this a goddamn family station wagon?" "My God, you have a baby seat in the back." "It's an undercover car." "Shit!" "I know they got a look at my license plate." "Were those the guys who shot Max?" "What guys?" "I only saw bullets." "You tell me what they looked like." "I don't know!" "I was too busy trying to keep a bullet out your ass!" "Julie, I'll need you to look through some mug shots... until you can identify Max's shooter." " Where will we do that?" " Protective custody." "No way!" "I told you I am not going into protective custody!" "Look, lady, I'm not playing." "You're really pissing me off!" "I'll book your narrow ass!" "Yeah?" "I'll develop amnesia." "I suddenly feel a little case of it coming on right now." "Fine, lady." "Where would you feel safe?" "You want to do protective custody?" "We'll do in-home protective custody." "At your place, all right?" "I can handle going to your place." "Yeah, my place." "My place is..." "No way." "Right." "My place." "Yeah, my place is shit." "Mike Lowrey place." "You right." "That's the best idea you came up with tonight." "Wait here." " Detective Burnett, how are you?" " I'm cool." " Mr. Lowrey's not here." "He's out." " I know." " He said I could use his place tonight." " Really?" "He didn't mention it to me." "Who's the chick?" "How's your wife?" "She's fine." "Your kids are good?" " Family's the most important thing." " Is it?" "Mr. Lowrey told me you got a baby factory going on at your house." " Is that true?" " Here you go." "If that ain't enough, I'll run you in for extortion." "You know, I'm so stupid sometimes." " Are you?" " Now that you mention it..." "Mr. Lowrey did mention you coming by tonight." "What did he say?" "Did he say he had a key?" " Hang out." "Here you go." " Hang out?" " Is this it?" " Yeah." "You're hurting me." " Thank you." " Good to see you." " Good to see you." " Have fun." " It's not like that." " Sure." "Yeah, come on." "Watch your step walking through." "Damn, I must have left some incense burning." "Welcome to Casa de Lowrey." "This is kind of..." "I'm always moving my switches." "I'm always decorating, so sometimes I just don't know where shit is." "Damn!" "Shit!" "Why am I tripping on shit I know is there?" "You found a light switch." "I should have known it was there since I decorated the place." "Yeah." "Hi, Mike." "This is Yvette." "Ignore this." "It's one of my freaks, Yvette." "She's always calling." "Got to have it." "Don't call no more now, freak." " All this on a cop's salary?" " I feel like having you right now..." "It's honest money." "I'm a second generation rich kid." "So if you're not in it for the paycheck... are you some kind of action junkie?" "Yeah." "If that's what you want to call it." "I don't mind bats swung at my head, bullets damn near grazing my ass." "Gives me a rush." "Look... let me give you a broad stroke of the place." "Got some T-bones in the fridge for Luke and Dukie." "Sorry." "Your fridge is this way." " I confuse my own shit." " Wait a minute." " You're leaving me here alone?" " Yeah, I have to get back to work." " These are Miami's peak crime hours." " Apparently." "They said that this deal was going down in four days." "I obviously seem to be kind of a major glitch..." "You ain't with the bad guys now." "You're with the cops... with Mike Lowrey." "Everything will be all right." "Trust me." "I'll be back." "I know there's no time to joke, but remember in the movie..." "All right." "Thanks for everything, Mike." "I'm going." " Chet." " That was quick." "You one of those guys?" " In and out." " It's not like that." "The girl's a witness." "I need you to keep an eye out." " No problem." " Now listen to me." " Hear me." "That's right." " Me?" "The moment Lowrey gets in, have him call me at home." " At my home." " Call you at home." "Use this phone." "Do not let him go upstairs." "Don't let him go upstairs?" "But he lives here." "I don't want to argue with Mr. Lowrey." "I could lose my job." "Trust me on this, okay?" "Call you from here." "Don't let him up." " No problem." " Important witness." "Thank you." "I got a better idea." "I'm getting off in two hours." "If you want, I could go upstairs and watch the door." "Like the cops do in the movies?" "They sit on a stool?" "I got a magazine and everything." "I don't let anybody in or out." "Seriously, all kidding aside, I want to help." "You're helping." "Can you do it from here?" " Yeah, I can do it from here." " Fine." " That helps." "From here, okay?" " All right." "It's funny that you ask me, because I was going to be a cop." "I took the test." "Just didn't work out." "Politics." "Yeah." "I know." " You're my deputy." " I'm your deputy." " Watch out for everything." " You got it." "Take care, Chief." "I'm a deputy." "Don't "honey baby" me." "You smell like perfume." "It was just..." "You don't even have your wedding ring on!" "Damn." "I went undercover." "It required taking off the ring for a second, but I got the ring." "I just put my hand in my pocket because that's where it was... and it's right back on, baby." "Can I get a pillow?" "If it isn't the guy who doesn't return phone calls." "Where have you been the last 12 hours?" "I've been paging you all night." "We got a situation here you need to know about." "Look, I got a dead madam..." "I got a concussion and I got a real bad headache." "You got a headache?" "Let me tell you what I did last night." "I had to sleep on my couch." "I wake up with a Power Ranger stuck up my ass." "And while we're discussing my ass, I damn near got it blown off." "But the good news is I got a witness." "Let me tell you about this witness." "She likes to..." " You sound like a nagging wife." " I'm nagging." "You see what happens when you go off with out me?" "You get into shit." "Like shit don't happen when you're there." "That ain't the point." "The point is if your partner pages you... you might want to get back to your partner." "I want to meet the man who whupped your ass." "I want to meet who whupped Shaft's ass." "Look at me, man." "You don't know what I've been through." "My wife kicked me out of the house, kicked me out of my happy home." "But you got to go off by yourself." ""I got this, partner."" "Bullshit." "I am feeling much better, though, thank you." " Yeah." " And I'll get his ass." "Be cool." "Watch yourself." "What did I say?" "Did you hear what I said?" "I heard what I said 'cause I was standing there when I said it." "I told you to secure a witness." "Not to shoot up a neighborhood!" "Not to do another dead body!" "Just get the dope back, and do it quietly." "Look, Captain, this whole situation is getting out of control." " You're goddamn right!" " Look, man..." "I damn near had to pass a pop quiz before she believed I was him." "Going, going..." "Shit." "A little off." "I haven't killed anybody yet today, Captain." "Do you want me to yell at you?" "I can do that." "Let me tell you something." "This witness is my only good news." "You guys are bad news." "So what does that mean?" "If you have to be Mike Lowrey, Santa Claus, FD Hutton... that's what you're gonna be!" "Wait a minute." "What the hell is going on here?" "I was getting them all in before you showed up." "Can somebody talk to me, please?" "Can I know what's going on?" "Captain, these fools could have got a look at my license plate last night." "Where's the girl now?" " His place." " What?" "You left her by herself?" "Our only fucking witness?" "You left a strange hooker alone in my apartment?" "The girl is not a hooker, as far as I know." "I had to stash her somewhere, her and her dogs, Luke and Dukie." "So you left dogs in my house?" "There's dogs and a hooker in my house?" "How about you add some chimps?" "We can have a carnival." "I said she isn't a hooker." " Can you please..." " Shut up!" "For years, Sinclair has been up my ass, trying to pin something on me." "I'm always taking it for you." "Do it for me!" "If we get this witness to identify the shooters... maybe we catch our bad guys." "But until then, you are Mike Lowrey." "You be him." "That's what you are." "You're him." "I don't want to hear it." "And you..." "You're you." "You be you, but not in front of her." "You're him!" "You're you!" "Can we get a time-out, Captain?" "Am I the designated homeless?" "Does it look like I care?" "Whatever it takes, all right?" "What did she say to you?" "The shooters are making their drop in four days?" "So we got four days." "Captain, what kind of plan is that?" "I can't be shacked up with that woman." "I have a family to look after." "My wife will kill my ass!" "You don't like your job?" "Quit." "Damn!" "Look, I'll stay at the house with Theresa and the kids." "Thank you, but no thanks." "You wouldn't last five minutes with my family." "Please, married life is easy." "You only got one woman to satisfy." "Yo, man." "We ain't the Cosbys." "Let's go." "I got this." "Go." "Everybody wants to be like Mike." "Yeah, and you're gonna be retired like him too." "I'd have dunked it on your ass." "Cleveland?" "I have never..." "Look, woman, I done told you." "It's a federal subpoena." "Am I supposed to tell them no?" "I don't know what you'll tell them." "Why can't he go?" " Why can't you go?" " I wanted to  but Captain Howard said I'm irresponsible." "No, he said, "A loose cannon," because I've been shooting in public." " Out of nowhere sometimes." " Mike, please." "Look, baby, the neighborhood has had a lot of break-ins." "I can handle it." "I don't need Mike to handle it." "I know you can handle it, but I'm worrying about me." "Mike's going to stay here with you and the kids, take care of y'all... just till I come back." "Who will pick the kids up from day care and all that?" " Mike can't do it." " Are you listening to me?" "I said..." "I read a book that could probably help y'all." "I saw it on..." "Mike, can you go down and have a Coke and a smile?" " Please?" " All right." "Y'all want something?" "Bring me a Coke." " Baby, you want a Coke?" " I'm fine, thank you." "All right." "Explain it to me, Elliot." "We've got a problem with our chemistry set?" "It's not a chemistry set." "He knows it ain't a chemistry set, asshole." "What is it?" "The cutting agent is a highly volatile substance." " The ether..." " I don't care." "I'm not a fucking chemistry teacher." " What is the problem?" " There's too much moisture here." " Yeah, it's totally fucked." " You shut up!" "What else?" "It's taking longer to cook than we originally planned." "If we rush it, we'll have a lot of drugs we can't sell." "You're fucking with my timetable." "I gave you a deadline." " Do you understand?" " Yeah, I understand." "Yeah." " You dressed?" " Yeah." "I am." "Look, we have to go through some mug shots." "I'll hook into the computer." "We can do this." "Mike, who's the guy in all the photographs?" "Sometimes I don't even look at my shelves." "I forget all the pictures were here." "That's my partner, Marcus Burnett." "I've never seen anything like this before." "I can see how it may throw you a little bit." "It's a cop thing." "These pictures are up here for every time he saved my life." "If you go to his place ain't nothing but pictures of me." "It's like a shrine." "Just a reminder." "Because when I saw it, and it was the whole wall..." "I thought maybe they were pictures of your lover." " Of who?" " I thought maybe you were gay." "That I was gay?" "No, baby." "I didn't mean to offend you." "It's okay to be a homosexual." "You're not listening." "It's not registering." "Believe me." "Did you sleep in the bed?" "Didn't you feel the dents?" "The dents come from all that." "That's how I get down." "That's sweet." "Gay." "If I was, I'd change the drapes in this motherfucker." " Want some?" " No, thanks." "I don't eat flesh." "What?" "That's flesh that you're shoveling into your mouth." "That was a living, breathing creature." "It probably had a name." "It's just baloney." "My baloney has a first name." "Actually, your baloney has about 30 names... because they take odd parts from all different ones..." "Like the leftovers:" "The hooves and stomach lining... ears, stuff like that." "They put it into this machine and grind it all up." "Then out comes this sheet." "That's what you're eating now." "You know what?" "I won't eat baloney no more." "How about a pickle?" "Can I eat it?" "It has a lot of salt, but it's fine." "It is a vegetable." "A lot of salt in the pickle?" "Let me rinse it off." "There we go." "How's that?" " Just keep going." " I don't even taste the salt now." "Go back." "That's the guy." "He was there in the room." "We got a tip they were running major drugs, something like 50 keys." "So we step to the door." "Boom!" "Freeze!" "Miami Police Department!" "Get down!" "Out of now here, this little crazy pimp named Chino punched me in the head." "Chino had been running whores." "Your dad will explain that to you." "Look at it." "Your dogs are shitting all over my place." "Liquid shit." "It doesn't help when you shellack it in with furniture polish." "There's a piece right there." "Please, get that." " Fine." " It looks like a chip of shit." "Can I please have the parole jacket on Noah Trafficante?" " Thank you." " You know what?" "I'm getting tired of this witness." "I want to get back to my life the way it was." "I'm tired." "I got married so I could stop lying." "I cannot believe you're complaining." "You got it easy compared to me, living in that zoo you call home." "Why you have to call my place a zoo?" " I'm tired of you saying that." " You want to fight me." " Don't call my place a zoo." " Listen..." "Francine, please..." " That's my silk shirt, man!" " Yeah, it is kind of nice." "Since I'm gonna be like Mike, I might as well dress like Mike." "I wanna be like Mike" "You're sick." "Something is wrong with you." "You have a problem, and you should have yourself checked." "Yeah." "Probably." " Here's the file." "He works at Club Hell." " Thank you." "Take care of this, please." " I've got to call the wife." " Whose wife?" "Can you please do some work?" "One time today, just do something." " Do something that helps this case." " Boy..." "You look real handsome today." "See, it's not that kind of day." "Leave me the fuck alone." "Seriously." "All right?" " What's up?" "PMS?" " Damn the jokes." "Ring it." "I ain't in the mood." "Yeah, that's cool." "Hold on." "All right." "Write it down." "Go ahead." "All right." " How are things going with the kids?" " They're fine." "You okay?" " How's potty training going?" " Slowly but surely." " You are so silly." " Are you going to be late tonight?" "It will be 10:30, 11:00 before I get in." " Later." " Don't wait up." "I'll be all right." "Why don't you rent a movie?" "Something we can kick back to." " What you wearing?" " Give me the phone!" " Baby!" " She hung up a long time ago." "I was playing." "Hello?" "Hey, man, don't play like that." "That's my family." "Don't break up a happy home." "Stop wearing my clothes then." "Everybody's about the jokes today, ain't they?" "Hello?" "I cannot believe this."