"CERTIFIED COPY" "Good morning, ladies and gentlemen." "Just a few words while you're waiting." "As you know, James Miller will be joining us." "He's a little late." "He can't blame the traffic, his room is upstairs." "I hope he won't be long." "We're here for the presentation of his latest book" "Certified Copy that was awarded best foreign essay of the year." "Well, that's about it..." "Here's James." "Please, take your seats." "Autographing will be after the conference." "I'd intended to briefly introduce James to you but who better than himself." "Over to you." "Good morning." "I'd like to sincerely thank my friend and colleague Marco Lenzi whose translation is simply perfect." "He's really conveyed the spirit of my book and made this Italian edition possible." "As well as our meeting today." "Well done and thanks again." "Will I take your bag?" "No, it's okay." "It'll be too heavy." "Come on." "You ordered a cheeseburger?" "Yes." "Fries?" "Yes." "Double?" "You won't eat them, but yes." "Coke?" "Can you look at me?" "Coke?" "Yes." "How many books did you buy?" "Six." "Lucky you didn't like it." "I never said that." "I heard you telling Pierre." "I didn't say I didn't like it, just that some parts annoyed me." "But he explained them to you." "Yes, but I wasn't convinced." "How come you bought so many?" "To get you talking." "And for presents." "Who for?" "For Marie, amongst others." "But..." "she already has it." "Well, I want to give her a signed copy." "Good idea, no?" "So, you want to see him again." "You want to see that guy again." "Well, maybe." "And the others, who are they for?" "One's for Alain." "But you can't stand him!" "Right." "I want to give a book I dislike to a man I dislike." "Can't I?" "Sure, you can." "So, what were you saying to that other guy?" "What other guy?" "The writer's friend." "You have to know everything?" "You said we were buddies who kept no secrets." "But you were just being nosy about Elisa, right?" "But who cares?" "I know it all anyway." "Good for you." "I know you like this James and want to fall in love with him." "And you gave your number to his friend, so he'll call you." "Not at all." "I did give my number, but not for what you think." "I just want to find out more about his book." "It is my job after all." "And you kept..." "I couldn't listen." "We had to leave." "You weren't listening." "You kept whispering..." "Neither were you." "You kept playing with that thing." "At least, I..." "I was playing but I also listened." "You were just starry-eyed." "Mind your own business, okay?" "No need to get so mad." "We're just here, having a chat..." "Yes, we're having a chat." "I don't see why you get so annoyed." "I'm not annoyed." "You annoy me!" "And get a haircut!" "Just one thing, okay?" "One thing and then I stop." "One question:" "Why didn't you want him to sign with my surname?" "You're really going too far!" "My name is Julien..." "You're getting on my nerves." "Enough!" "But I do have a surname!" "Are you leaving?" "Be back for lunch?" "I don't think so." "Remind Julien he's got a private lesson at 2." "Sure." "Yes?" "No." "It's impossible." "Speak up." "I can't hear you." "No." "You talk to him." "I'm busy." "I can't talk to him now." "I don't know." "Talk to him." "I have no idea." "I'm not far away." "I don't know yet." "Okay?" "Yes." "I'll let you know." "I can't right now." "You see with him." "Speak to you later." "This is the famous Muse Polimnia, the portrait of a woman, whose dramatic story is told on the cartel next to the painting." "For years, this painting was believed to be Roman Art." "It wasn't until the 20th Century, about 50 years ago, that it was revealed to be the work of a skilled forger from Naples." "However, the museum decided to conserve this fabulous portrait as an original." "It is actually as beautiful as the original." "When was it made?" "In the 18th Century." "And it was considered as an original for 200 years." "After the Second World War, in-depth research revealed even the name of the forger who made this amazing work." "The museum then decided to keep it with great care." "In a sense, it's our Mona Lisa." "The original is in Herculaneum, near Naples." "The story of the discovery itself is interesting." "It was part of a Roman fresco." "And the excavation director happened to be from Tuscany." "He commissioned the forger to make this perfect copy, so as to claim that it was found in his region and use its prestige for Tuscany." "A coffee and a cappuccino." "Coming up." "It's ready." "His coffee's going cold." "That's how he is." "He's a good husband though." "Sorry?" "He's a good husband." "How do you know?" "I can tell." "Where do you come from?" "I'm from France." "Where did you learn Italian?" "I've lived in Italy for five years." "Where?" "First in Florence, now in Arezzo." "How come you speak English together?" "He's English." "And he doesn't speak your language?" "Nor Italian?" "He only speaks his own language." "But you can speak his." "Good for you." "He's not into languages." "He's not into anything." "Except himself and his job." "That's good." " A man must love his job." " What about us women?" "It keeps them busy." "And we live our lives." "I didn't get married to live alone." "I'd like to live my life with my husband." "Is a good husband too much to ask for?" "Our lives can't be all that bad if all we can complain about is our husbands working too hard." "You see, when there's not another woman, we see their job as our rival." "We also work, but with moderation." "Moderation is our choice, whereas they can't help it." "For them, not working is like not breathing: impossible!" "I never asked my husband to stop." "Of course not." "How could you?" "The world would simply stop." "But we put the brakes on." "My sister keeps encouraging her lazy husband to work." "There are exceptions." "Don't you think there should be a happy balance?" "Ideally, yes." "But that doesn't exist." "Bring us some wine." "Coming." "It'd be stupid of us to ruin our lives for an ideal." "But mum's the word." "They don't need to know." "But how can I put up with a husband who's never there?" "They're never totally absent." "He makes you a married woman." "That's what matters." "At my age, you understand that." "How long have you been married?" "Fifteen years." "Do you have children?" "Yes, a son." "It was his birthday last week." "He didn't even bother to call him." "I don't believe it." "It's true." "All he cares about is himself and his job." "And his friends?" "And his friends, of course." "And his mistresses?" "That, I don't know." "That's why you're wondering who's calling him on Sunday, right?" "I'm just looking at him." "But with suspicion." "Whereas I admire him." "May I know why?" "Sure." "On Sunday mornings, what do most men do?" "They sleep in." "He doesn't." "He takes you out for a coffee, he tells you stories with a lot of pleasure." "He looks like he's still courting you." "Tell me about it!" "If only he'd shaved, he'd be perfect." "My husband shaves every other day." "Even our wedding day was a no-shave day." "Now, you're used to it." "On our wedding day, my uncle asked me why he hadn't shaved." "I said I didn't know." "So he asked him:" ""Couldn't you have shaved this once?"" "Know what he replied?" "He calmly stroked his beard and said:" ""Yes, but I only shave every other day. "" "It's cold." "I'll change it." "How strange you don't speak Italian after five years here with your family." "No." "We have one at home." "It's Sunday." "They're closed." "Look, and you'll find it." "We have one at home." "You'll find it." "Look for it!" "No." "Don't bother the neighbour." "Go upstairs, in my office." "I'll hold on, go." "Are you facing the desk?" "Pull out the drawer." "The middle one." "It's the third from the left." "There." "Open..." "You idiot!" "Pull it right out!" "If I come home and find it, I'll kill you." "No!" "In the back!" "You can't miss it!" "Can you see it?" "In the back." "Right!" "You found it." "Now, go and do your homework." "Stop bothering me." "Don't call." "Don't call Marie either." "I don't know." "I'll see." "Do your homework." "Go, go!" "Idiot!" "The spitting image of his father." "Stubborn as a mule!" "There's always a way with kids." "Well, I can't find it." "And you're never there." "One must be tough, so the other can be loving." "Good cop, bad cop." "When you play both roles, it's unbearable." "Am I supposed to play bad cop?" "No need to play, darling." "That woman was saying even a bad husband is worth being married to." "But even as a bad husband, you should be around." "It's here." "They want to take a photo with us." "I said we got married here 15 years ago and it's our anniversary." "No, thanks." "They really want this photo." "Come on." "They asked if we were happy, I said very much so." "Please..." "Don't embarrass me." "Sir..." "Come and take a photo with us." "Sorry, no." "My wife and I would be very happy." "I'm sorry, but..." "As you wish." "Thanks." "Hurry up." "We've been waiting for ages." "We'll be done in a minute." "Excuse me..." "Can you come take a photo with us?" "I beg you." "It's my wedding day." "You can't say no." "Sir, please, you can't refuse!" "Thank you." "What you said was beautiful." "But why did it have to sound so ironic?" "You remind me of your son." "I like it." "What do you like about it?" "I don't see why I have to try and convince you." "I wonder how you can convince yourself." "You're a real art expert, aren't you?" "I don't see it as a work of art." "I like its subject." "Its subject?" "I like the way she rests her head on his shoulder." "I can't believe you're so... sentimental." "I can't believe you're so... irresponsible." "Irresponsible?" "Me?" "This guy has nothing to do, but to protect this woman!" "That's why he was immortalised." "Immortalised?" "You can't be immortalised for that." "It's ridiculous!" "Nonsense!" "I don't feel like sharing this discussion." "Sharing?" "Do you know what that means?" "What do you know about sharing?" "Let's go." "This is too much." "You're right." "I don't share your opinion." "All you see is a woman resting her head on the shoulder... of that monster!" "Honestly, I feel sorry for you." "You feel sorry for me?" "It's because he protects her that he's become eternal." "I know what I'm saying." "You just don't want to answer." "I don't need to answer." "It's stupid." "Then your book is stupid too!" "I thought what mattered wasn't the work, but how we look at it." "I thought your approach was subjective, personal, creative, inventive..." "But now, what matters?" "The technical skill?" "The artist's reputation?" "How we see it no longer matters?" "Answer!" "I don't want to." "What you're saying makes me hate everything:" "art, originals, copies, this statue, you, everything!" "I know you hate me." "There's nothing I can do about that." "At least, try to be a little consistent." "What do you mean?" "Want me to remind you of your book?" "It's my right as a reader." "Let's go closer to the statue." "You'll tell me about its worth." "I've nothing to say about its worth!" "It was you who called it an eternal masterpiece!" "Yes, and I'll show you why." "Come." "Let's go ask people." "Let's ask those people there." "All you can do is wait." "You hear me?" "Wait!" "You can't make this decision on your own." "It's impossible." "You have no right." "Have you thought about me in all of this?" "You just wait." "Don't make me angry, please." "We'll have to talk this over." "You'll admit that you were wrong." "You're wrong." "Hello?" "I can't hear you." "Wait, I'll move a bit." "Yes, I can hear you now." "Tell her we'll call from the hotel." "We'll call you tonight from the hotel." "Okay?" "Give Anna a hug." "Yes." "Bye." "Nice to meet you." "I'd like you to share your views with James." "Please, go ahead." "As I said, he's an expert in cultural heritage, mostly in the psychological impact of art on the public." "So, if you can say what you..." "Of course, this is not our first trip." "It's our fourth... fifth time in Italy." "We come essentially to admire the art." "After all, Italy is one big open air museum." "You know that a quarter of the world's heritage... the world's art heritage is here in Italy." "My husband knows that." "What he wants is for you to..." "What you said back there was perfect." "About the power..." "Yes..." "I feel this statue... or, the artist, via the statue, has tried to show us the sheer power of a man, hewn out of a single block of stone." "Or maybe several, I don't know." "I can't see very well." "Let's go closer." "We're fine here." "Can't you just repeat what you said?" "It was nice." "Remember, you said what touched you in this sculpture was the serenity on the woman's face, as she rests on his shoulder." "You said she gave the impression of having someone to rely on, of not being alone." "Yes but that was the lady's impression." "Yet you agreed." "That impression is quite right but... how can I say..." "Sorry, I forgot your last name." "James...?" "James is fine." "I'd like to tell you something." "Obviously, you are a knowledgeable man." "But you could be my son." "That's why I'd like to give you a piece of fatherly advice." "May I?" "I'm listening." "First, a question." "I'd be curious to know..." "Let's get straight to the point." "I think all she wants from you is that you walk beside her and lay your hand on her shoulder." "That's all she's longing for." "But for her, it's vital." "I don't know what happened between you and I don't want to." "It's none of my business." "But all your problems can be solved by a simple gesture." "Do it and set yourself free." "Don't make things even harder." "Thanks for your advice." "But we must go and get something to eat." "A restaurant?" "There's a good one just here." "I highly recommend it." "Let's go." "Very pleased to meet you." "Have a good evening." "Good bye." "Enjoy your meal." "Thank you very much." "Are you hungry?" "Starving." "But it's too late for lunch." "And too early for dinner." "There's nobody." "Just a second." "Just a moment, I'm coming." "Please." "Thank you." "Good evening." "Red wine?" "A bottle of red wine, please." "Straight away." "What kind of red wine?" "A good one." "They're all good." "Are the wines good here?" "Not as good as ours but better than yours." "Very kind of you." "It's a joke." "Red, straight away." "What's up?" "Why did we come here?" "What's wrong?" "Taste." "You'll see." "What?" "It's corky." "Corked!" "Don't get upset." "We'll change it." "We'll ask the waiter..." "No big deal." "It's a convention." "You taste it and you say it's good." "Don't be so demanding." "You can't expect a fantastic wine list in a remote Tuscan trattoria." "And to be honest," "I don't find it that bad." "Are you out of your mind?" "Why are you doing this?" "Can't you just enjoy what you have instead of moaning?" "Can't you just be here for a change?" "Look around you." "Be here!" "Look, it's the same couple." "What a dream place." "Look how sweet they are." "Two lovebirds." "Look at your wife who's made herself pretty for you." "Open your eyes." "So, when is the moment?" "It wasn't last night either." "When is the right moment?" "Last night?" "It was our..." "For once, you didn't forget our anniversary." "You came back after a fortnight away, presumably for work." "When I came out of the bathroom, you were fast asleep, snoring." "I tried to move your pillow to see if you'd react." "You barely stirred." "You glanced at me and straight back to sleep!" "So, please tell me when is the right moment?" "Of all the nerve!" "I'm tired too!" "Just say you don't love me anymore!" "Feeling better?" "Fine, thank you." "Sure." "What?" "No, you're fine." "I had enough time to look at them." "About what?" "Go ahead." "Ask your question." "I'm yours." "Of course I do." "I did that... a thousand times." "I was always the one who..." "That's right." "Always on my own, driving back every Sunday..." "So, what am I supposed to remember?" "Cut to the chase." "I was tired." "But that's totally different." "You can't compare." "We're talking about our fifteenth wedding anniversary." "That's quite a symbol, 15 years of marriage!" "It's our anniversary and all you do is snore!" "Shame on you!" "Are you kidding?" "I was getting ready!" "Making myself pretty for you!" "You can't blame me for that!" "It takes time to get ready!" "You should know that after 15 years!" "Coming." "Congratulations." "I can't open." "Congratulations." "Take care." "Bye." "Does it hurt?" "I'm okay." "I shouldn't have worn these shoes." "Nothing's changed here." "But you..." "You've changed." "Have I?" "I don't think you used to go to church." "I wanted to take off my bra." "But I saw you praying, right?" "You were praying." "I just needed to be on my own." "You did that in a church." "Why?" "I couldn't breathe anymore." "I felt oppressed." "The proof." "I can show you the mark, if you want." "I'm sorry." "Really sorry." "You didn't see I removed my lipstick either." " You didn't see." " Yes, I did." "Not even that I put it on, nor my earrings." "The problem is, you don't see me." "Whereas I noticed immediately you'd changed your perfume." "You could have shaved for me today, for our anniversary." "It's a habit." "I only shave every other day." "I know." "Remember the hotel where we spent our wedding night?" "Was it near here?" "Look around, you'll find it." "This one." "No." "Keep looking." "Good evening." "Excuse me..." "My husband and I spent our wedding night here 15 years ago, in room 9." "We were wondering if we could have a look at it, if it's free." "We wanted to remember the good old days." "Room 9." "Third floor." "Turn off the light." "Turn it off, please." "Look out the window." "You'll see." "Look to the left." "See?" "Remember?" "No." "You don't remember?" "Don't you remember anything?" "I can't believe you've forgotten." "Come have a look from here, then." "Come on." "Look." "See?" "You remember?" "On your right, look." "You see?" "You know I have a bad memory." "It's not fair to test me like this." "Lying here," "I remember everything." "You slept on this side, remember?" "The pillow still smells of you." "I remember every detail..." "Like what?" "You want me to tell you?" "No." "I can tell you if you want." "You see, nothing has changed." "You haven't changed." "You're just like you were." "Just as gentle, as attractive," "as cold." "I know it's to protect yourself, but just as cold." "That's not true." "What's not true?" "Have I changed?" "You're even more beautiful." "And more stupid?" "I never said that." "You see... if we were a bit more tolerant of each other's weaknesses," "we'd be less alone." "Don't you think?" "I know one can live alone, but..." "Did you see that couple next door?" "I envied them..." "That old couple." "Didn't you?" "Not so sure." "Stay with me." "Stay." "It's better." "Better for both of us." "For you and for me." "Give us that chance." "I told you." "I must be at the station by nine." "Yes, I know."