"WE WILL NEVER HAVE PARIS Tranlation and Review by Angel." "Like any organ does as we grow older, the eye deteriorates and decays." "Whether it is genetic predisposition." "Or environmental factors, we are subject to losing the gift of sight, clouding the windows to our souls, if you will." "Did you know that cataracts are now responsible for 48% of world blindness?" "Though aging is the primary cause, there are a wide variety." "Devon, are you just going to grade papers the whole time?" "What?" "This is my lunch break." "What do you want me to do?" "Pray for you." "Your eye is fine, okay." "Just like your teeth are not getting looser, and you did not have foot rot." "Knock on wood." "Okay." "I have to get the rest of these papers to my TA." "I love you." "You are okay." "Love you." "Say hi to the doc for me." "I see you after work, assuming I can still see." "To irreversible loss of vision." "Quinn." "Hey there, pal." "Hi, Dad." "So, what is it this time?" "A little redness." "Yeah, just in the left eye." "A little dot's been there for about a week." "Okay." "Let us go." "Let us just lean forward." "Place your chin on the plastic piece there." "Look directly into the light." "Right here." "Good." "By the way, your mother made some of that... egg salad that you love, you know, with the tarragon," "I brought some in for you." "Thanks." "Well, what do you know?" "Pingueculitis." "It is an irritation or a thinning of the conjunctiva." "It usually found in elderly people," "Latinos, people who work outdoors." "Are you the outdoorsy type now?" "I would go with Latino before outdoorsy." "It could also have something to do with your nose." "What is wrong with my nose?" "Nothing." "It is a beautiful nose, you got the Berman nose." "Only it is slightly more pronounced than other noses might be." "How does my nose size contribute to this?" "It is acting as a, kind of, large reflector, if you will." "My nose is so large that, the reflection is burning a hole in my eye?" "No, no, no, no, no." "Just the lining of it." "The treatment is artificial tears, and UV-protection sunglasses." "You are getting older there, my boy." "Twenty-eight is not old." "Yeah." "It is not really the age where it makes any sense." "Nor the race." "All right, I will get your UV sunglasses." "The women are going to love you." "Dad, I have a girlfriend for 10 years." "I am kidding." "I love Devon." "When are you going to propose?" "I was about to." "I have Mama's ring." "Now, with this illness..." "It is not an illness." "It is a condition." "It is treatable." "Marriage, I mean." "How many times a day do I have to put in the artificial tears?" "Six or eight." "I could just insert some punctual plugs." " Insert where." " In your punctual." "In my what?" "Tear ducts." "Little, tiny, umbrella-shaped, silicon plugs." "That block out the drainage of tears, irrigating the eye." "I am a little..." "Sit, sit." "Come on, sit down, and sit down." "That is it." "Put your head between your legs." "Your grandmother used to say..." "That means: "You only get one first marriage."" "That is inspiring." "Look..." "If Devon is the one, unless there is a piece of coal in that ring, instead of a diamond, your sitting on it longer, is not doing you any good." "You saw the people in the waiting room." "They were all you, yesterday." "WE WILL NEVER HAVE PARIS Translation and Review by Angel." "Dev." "What?" "Are not you supposed to be at work?" "Impersonating late Miles Davis." "What happened?" "No, nothing." "I wanted sir to prize..." "To precise..." "I wanted to surprise you." "Okay." "Wait, what did he say about your eye?" "No, it is fine." "Actually, it put everything into perspective." "That well, I am finally..." "You know..." "I love you more than..." "Okay, I love you too." "You are scaring me." "Is there nothing wrong with your eye?" "Yes, there is..." "No..." "Yes, there is..." "It is Pingueculitis." "It is not a big deal, I am just supposed to wear those glasses." "Well, you know, I do know how seriously, you take fashion." "Yeah, says the girl who only wears clogs." "What?" "They are comfortable." "Yeah, well, that does not make they not clog." "Very cloggy." "What?" "You are just my favorite." "Well, you are up there for me too." "Well..." "The day has come..." "My God." "You got a gig playing piano." "I..." "No, no, no." "Did not you send in your demo tape to the Thai restaurant?" "No one wants to hear live jazz." "While they are eating microbe, it is too much." "Come on, at some point you are going to have to play in front of people." "Anyway, I just wanted to..." "I have to go." "I have class." " Thank you so much for surprising me." " Okay." "Okay." "I am going to call you on the way home." "I am sorry." "I just supposed to be giving a lecture on Flaubert." "You do not have to lecture them about Flaubert." "Just say it nicely." " All right." "Love you." " Love you." "It is just this eye condition." "Ping..." "Wait." "What?" "Pingueculitis." "Is it..." "Is it contagious?" "No." "What are we doing with the rose petals?" "Did I miss an order?" "I am..." "I am..." "Okay, do not say anything, Kelsey." "I am going to ask Devon to marry me." "Wow!" "You know, I used to propose to girls in elementary school." "I mean, I was in elementary school too." "That was just legal." "Yes!" "Yes!" "Yeah." "Thanks." "I mean, of course." "I called it in high school." "You did, yeah." "What about you?" "You are still with..." "We broke up." "The basketball player." "We broke up too." "There is a new person," "Isaac, you will meet him tonight." "We are having pizza before Jameson's, right?" " Yes, yeah." "In addition, you are bringing..." " Isaac." " Isaac." " Yeah, the mechanic." "Cool." "Well, if it does not work out with him." "I have a great mechanic." " Thanks." " Yes." "Can I talk to you for a second?" "Sure." "I think I might be in love with you." "A little." "With me?" "No, you are right." "Never mind." "No." "Wait." " What?" " I mean..." "Obviously, I do not want to ruin what we have here." "I love Devon." "She always buys me lottery tickets on my birthday." "Because she know how much I want to win." "It just hit me, that all these people," "I mean, they do not challenge me." "You..." "You make me feel like a woman." "You listen." "You make eye contact." "Are you really going to marry the first girl you have ever been with?" "Well..." "One girl, in your entire life." "I am sorry." "I should not have told you." "Yes, you should have." "You can do better." "Look at you." "You are like a model." "I mean, when we hug, I look like a skin tag hanging off of you." "Come on, you are a man." "A man, what lead?" "Do you believe in that?" "Sorry." "I can get a little rough sometimes." "Sure." "I am too." "I will see you tonight." "Right." "Tonight, yeah." "I will see you tonight." " This one?" " Yeah, that one." "Yeah, thanks." "This is lucky seven." "My mom got it for me, because in my family, this is like..." "What does the tattoo on your neck says?" ""Veni, vidi, vici."" ""I came, I saw, I conquered."" "Is it "vici" or "Vicky"?" "Vici." "It is Latin, so a soft 'V'." "You got tattoos." "I?" "No." "Unless you count "thug life" scrawled across my chest." "That is henna, so..." "No, I was just super scared, like..." "He is going to be fine." "He freaks out about everything." "What?" "I do not." "Every time you sit down at the piano." "You mention that your hands are shrinking." "My hand span does seem smaller." "Okay, and then last week you thought your hair was going white." "I found all these white hairs on my collar." "Okay, which was cat fur?" "I did not do a DNA test." "Okay, this is so ridiculous." "You know what I just realized," "I have never heard you play the piano." "No." "He does not play in front of anybody." "If I am going heckled, I just prefer that it be by me that am all." "That is cool." "I mean, it makes you all mysterious, like tortured." "See..." "Yes, tortured." "That is my wheelhouse." "Thank you so much." " What did you do?" " How would that happen?" "Dev!" "Well, I am stealthy." "Well, thank you." "I am sorry to just dash out on everyone." "I think I am going to grab a cab home." "Why?" "I am just so tired." "I have that thing in the morning." "Can you give these people a ride to Jameson's?" "Okay." "Well, I love you." "I love you." "Bye." "I am probably going to head out pretty soon, too." "I am going to go meet up with my boys." "Okay." "I do not feel like going to this party." "All right." "Why do not I just go drop you?" "Back off with Isaac and his boys." "Because I do not feel like getting stoned and playing Football." "You philistine." "Do not call me names." "Did I hurt the fragile flower?" "I am sorry." "Is that okay?" "I mean, kissing my neck is okay." "It is like the same thing as hugging." "No, no, no." "What?" "I just really want to kiss you." "Well, that would not be good." "No, I know." "I could show you my boobs." "Okay, wait, wait." "This feels rape." "Why?" "Because you do not want to kiss me." "I want to." "I cannot." "Yeah." "It is not as if I could be with Kelsey." "No, you could not." "Her legs, though, Jameson, they are so long." "I have never seen legs like that in person." "They are freakishly long." "I just..." "I have not been in another relationship." "Now this tall model likes me." "I mean, she thinks I am sexy." "Manly." "Okay, she modeled one time in a catalog for Mervyn's, and a lot of girls think you are sexy." "More than think, I am sexy." "Okay, first off, girls think I am cute, not sexy." "Second, you are just unaware of your good looks." "I wish I were unaware of my looks, I am aware they are not good." "Shit." "I just lost a grand." "What kind of dealer gets 21 every time?" "A computerized one." "Maybe you do need to explore..." "Wait a minute." "I thought you wanted to marry Devon one day." "I do, that is what I am saying." "It is just..." "Those legs..." "Dude, you really need to chill out." "I feel like you are about to ask me to help you hide the body." "I am fine, I am thinking clearly." "I just..." "I have a lot of energy." "I am galvanized." "Check it out." "I... am corning my own beef." "Better to corn your own than someone else's." "I guess, okay, you are right." "I need to talk to Kelsey." "Just patch that up and then I..." "She is so sexy." "No, no." "See, think of it like, a wet dream, right, nothing really happened." "So to talk about it, would be awkward." "So what?" "Suppress my feelings." "Then, by the time, I examine them." "They are all tainted and deformed, and then the idea of the event and the event itself would become inseparable and, therefore, impossible to analyze?" "I need to act now." "Okay, this is not Darfur, you do not need to act now." "You need to go home." "You are not making any sense." "Imagine that was I slapping you in the face." "That was." "Do you still learn that same song?" "Yeah, I just cannot seem to get past this one part." "How was the faculty meeting?" "Hilarious." "Why are you being so cold?" "What about are you talking?" "I just got back from work." "I want to take a bath." "We just spent the last two hours debating the plural of: "Syllabus."" "Sorry, I..." "I just wanted to ask you something." "Okay, can I just run my bath first?" "Sure, fine." "I said, I wanted to ask you something." "Okay." "You are in the bath." "You said you were going to run it, not get in it." "Yeah, who could have predicted this?" "What is wrong with you?" "Nothing." "I guess." "I have just been feeling kind of confused recently." "About what?" "I so immerse in everything." "I cannot..." "See clearly." "Maybe, I just need to take a step back for a moment." "Wait a minute." "What is happening right now?" "Nothing." "I do not know." "Why?" "Are you talking about us?" "Not..." "No..." "I do not know..." "Maybe." "Are you trying to break up with me?" "I do not even know what is happening to me?" "What are you doing?" "What are you doing?" "I cannot fuck believe this." "Devon, wait a second." " Turn around." " What?" "Do not look at me." "I am getting dressed." "Now, I cannot see you naked." "Ten seconds ago, it was fine." "Yeah, well, a lot happened in the last 10 seconds." "Nothing has happened." "You are overreacting." "I do not even know what I am saying right now." "Who is it?" " Who is what?" " It is always someone else." "What?" "The only girls I know are you and Kelsey." "I am with you, Kelsey is like a model..." "Wow!" "I did not mean that." "I do hear how that sounded." "Devon, what are you doing?" "Do you like Kelsey?" "I do..." "No." "Not like that." "I swear." "Wait..." "You did nothing there is that." "My head is just spinning..." "Maybe I need to gain some sort of perspective, or objectivity for a second before..." "What are you doing?" "Do not touch me." "I am going to stay somewhere else tonight." "Look, if you do not want to see me." "I can go somewhere." "No, I am going, you stay here." "Where are you going to go?" "I do not know, to my parents." "With wet hair?" "You will get pneumonia." "Please." " Fuck." " I know." "No." "Thought I lost a piece." "Maybe you are not ready to get married, dude, I mean, obviously, your brain is trying to tell you something." "No, I want to marry Devon." "I think." "I have just been so comfortable with her for so long." "I cannot tell." "It is easier to feel when you are in pain." "I guess I just fear that I have been confusing complacency with happiness." "I am already 28, it is just going to start flying by." "I want to feel like a man." "I want to experience crazy romance, pining, and jealousy." "And whirlwind affairs in foreign countries." "Check it out." "It is a Middle Eastern man on the camel." "They make those." "I did have to special order it, but, yeah." "Okay, I have to go now." "Are you doing all right?" "No, I just explained that, while you were building a scene from Aladdin." "No." "Look, I am here for you." "Okay, thank you, I need to go." " Home?" " Yes, home." " No proposing?" " None." " No Kelsey." " No." "I hope I was able to help." "Yeah." "Are you thinking about Devon?" "I do not even feel bad though." "Maybe I am a sociopath." "I guess we allowed kissing now." "That is so romantic." "Do you think maybe?" "We should get ready for bed." "Yeah." "I mean, I am ready but okay." "Okay." "I do not really know how to ramp up to where we were before." "Do you want to talk to me?" "Sure." "About what?" "No, like dirty." "I am good." "I do not really have anything to say dirtily." "Why?" "Did you want me to talk to you?" "No." "No, I mean, if you wanted to." "Do you want to talk to me like that?" "Sure." "Yeah, that could be fun." "Okay." "Yeah." "Go for it." "Whenever you are ready, take your time." "Let me just set the mood." "Okay, so..." "Take out your cock." "I have not put it in yet." "No, not out of..." "Never mind." "Okay, yes." "Yes, ma'am." "Do you want me to address you as something?" "No." "This is not that." "You know, forget it." "No, I am taking out my cock." "Okay." "Give me that thing." " What?" " Nothing." "I am sorry." "Your hand is cold." "That feels so good, Kelsey." "Keep going." "Thanks, Quinn." "Yeah, that does feel good." "Keep going." "Do it faster, Kelsey." "Do it." "Whatever you say, Quinn." "Sorry, this is making me a little uncomfortable." "I feel like I am in a threesome with two of me." "Wait." "What?" "Because my hand feels too good on your cock." "I do not think I am going to last." "Why because it feels too good?" "Yes, it feels good." "Sorry, I did not make it, Kelsey." "That is okay." "I am flattered." "Who are you?" "What is that?" " Hi." " Hi." "The toilet is broken." "I hope you can wait to go to the bathroom." "Sure." "I was thinking that maybe we could get brunch and go to the beach." " What do you think?" " The beach." "They still have sand at those things." "Because I always found that to be the one flaw with beaches." "Come on." "Get up." "Okay, you get ready," "I..." "Before we go, I have to stop at my proprietor's." "Because I lost my checkbook again." "The toilet is..." "Okay." "What is this?" "It is a face scrubber." "It is for Edward James Olmos." "Jesus!" "My God!" "Perhaps a sacrificial offering." "You building a pipe organ?" "You like my new lipstick." "It called creamsicle." "What is wrong?" "Is it something with the toilet?" "Quinn?" "Are you okay, boo?" ""Boo"?" "Yeah." "I cannot, I cannot." " You cannot what." " I cannot go to the beach." "I do not feel well." "What do you want?" "I want to go home." "I need to go rest." "Okay." "Are you angry?" "Yeah, a little." "Kel, I am sorry." "I just need to go home for a minute." "Okay." "I am sorry." "No." "My God." "Please, God, forgive me." "I am sorry." "Help me live with this guilt, help me get past it." "I think I had to do this with Kelsey, to better my relationship with Devon." "Amen." "You." "Wait." "My bush!" "It is for love, man." "Crime of passion." "What a lucky girl." "Devon." "What?" "What are you doing here?" "Are your parents here?" "No." "My God!" "I picked this flower from that angry man's garden." "Did you come from somewhere?" "Did you come from 1973?" "No." "I just wanted to look nice for you." "You have bearing a rose that you picked." "What do you think?" "I am a florist." "You started smoking." "Starting is the hardest part." "What made you decide to do this?" "I realized that I could not run away, from you and everything else." "The problem existed somewhere in me, my fears of moving forward." "You are not feeling curious about other people." "I was, maybe." "I do not know." "I think it was just that moment, you know, when you either turn away or go deeper." "Yeah." "I did think I had feelings for Kelsey." "Yeah, I knew it." "Did anything happen?" "No." "We kissed last night, and then we did a couple other things too." "Did you sleep with her?" "No." "It was stupid," "I am just happy that it is over and..." "I mean, it will be a little uncomfortable with her at work now but..." "Are you kidding me?" "What?" "You are going to keep working with her?" "I need a job, and honestly, she is just a friend." "You are a fucking we are a silly fuck!" " What?" " No!" "Is everything all right?" "It is fine, Kurt." "Can you just, please...?" "You did not tell me your brother was home." "I tried calling you, man..." "He is my brother." "You do not get to call him right now." "Do you know what?" "You are right." "We have problems that we need to figure out separately." " You are not ready." " No." "Wait." "Maybe you should go be with other girls." "Otherwise, it is always going to be plaguing you." "I am not plagued." "Besides, what girls would I...?" "I am sorry." "Let me go and find some girls for you to fuck." "Devon that is not what I meant." " I just do not know anybody." " Just leave." "So now, you have to go bone a bunch of other girls." "I guess." "Devon is all right with this." "She told me I had to." "Kelsey keeps calling, texting." "See." "You are magnetic." "Okay, so I will do that with the boning." "Take a moment." "Then I will see what the deal is with Devon." "I do not know." "I mean, right now, I have to get it out of my system, like a poison." "Very romantic." "It is not supposed to be romantic." "I need to be a person, a guy who fucks girls." "I need to fucking fuck." "I still do not think you should be with anybody right now." "Maybe we should have a party here or something." "No." "My parents are coming back from the Dutch house in a couple months." "A couple months..." "I am not looking to remodel." "Look, you just need to clear your head for a moment." "Why do not we go somewhere?" "Like out of town." "We will forget about girls." "Yes, thank you." "That is what I am saying." "Great!" "Yeah, we will just go be guys." "We will go be fucking people." "Yes." "This is Fresh Air." "I am Terry Gross." "The fear of ticks is taking some of the pleasure out of walking in the woods..." "You ever send a check to them NPR." "Yeah, all the time." "Yeah, I have to do that." "See, those are the kind of things, you know." "When you are in a relationship, that just get swept under the rug." "I miss Devon." " No." " Yes, dude." "I think I got it out of my system, you know, with this and the surrey and the weird little horse." "Dude, you have to take time." "You know, her brother will not call me back." " What?" "You called Kurt." " Here you go." "I left him a couple messages just saying," "I hope we can still hang out and be friends." " Dude, his is her brother." " But he is my friend." " And it has been, like, two days." " Preemptive." "My God." "Quinn, listen." "You really have to chill out, you maniac." "You have to be alone." "Do not see anybody." "Just take a deep breath." "And enjoy this freedom." "What do I do?" "What do people do?" "Single." "Pennsylvania, ranch, family..." "Beach." "Okay." "All right." "All right." "Shit!" " Quinn." " Hi." " Hi." " Hey." "Pull up a saddle." "Howdy." "The last time I was in a saddle was on a horse at summer camp." "I had an anxiety attack and woke up in the cantor's office." "No pun intended." "Cantor..." "See, if they would just put an Ethiopian restaurant in Ethiopia, it would solve a lot of problems." "Sorry, I am nervous." "Yeah." "I am now too." "So do you like the beach?" "The beach?" "Yeah, well, I saw on..." "On what?" "I saw on..." "On Facebook." "Did I, like, write that somewhere or something?" "No, no." " Do you know what you are getting?" " No." "Sorry." "I did not follow you here." "I just need a moment." "Kelsey." "This is not me." "I do not do these kind of things." "Sorry." "This is..." "I am the girl Quinn left his girlfriend for." "And you must be the girl he left his girlfriend for the second time, after he left me for his girlfriend." "No." "Excuse me." "What is going on?" "How did you know I would be here?" "Facebook." "That was a private message." "You are so non-savvy with computers." "My ineptitude does not make this okay." "Look, I have been thinking, and I think you made a mistake." "I mean, that we made a mistake because this is not rotten at the core, like there were symptoms of something gone awry that we were ignoring." "I think that if we were just honest..." "Kelsey, wait." "Calm down." "I am just trying to cool off for a moment." "I do not want to see anyone right now." "She is nobody." "I am not seeing her." "Maybe you need to get your eyes checked again, because I see the fuck out of her." "You need to grow up." "I am sorry." "I do not even know what to say." "You can leave now." "I am not this kind of person, juggling women." "Okay." "I think it is out of my system." "What?" "What?" "What is out of your system?" "What about are you talking?" "You just said this is out of your system." "What is out of your system?" "You are a pint-sized narcissist." "And I could barely feel you inside me." "You sure you got it out of your system?" "It was never in my system to begin with." "Try this." "I quit my job this morning which is a big step." "Yeah, you made a pledge to NPR, you went on one date, now you are unemployed." "I would call that personal growth." "Yes." "I have matured." "You sure you want Devon?" "That is all I have ever wanted." "Cheers to that, man." "And it has been good having you around again." "Cheers, man." "It is spicy." "No, it is good..." "Good spice, it is painful." "I call it the Oaxaca dirty bomb." "It is pleasant though, right?" "Just like the name suggests." "It made with real Habanero chilies, that I cultivated hydroponically." "I am going to go get Devon back." "What about your drink?" "Hi, Jean." "Is Devon here?" "No." "Okay." "Is Devon here?" "No." "Is she here though?" "What the fucks are you doing, Quinn?" "This is not Anne Frank." "She is not here." "What do you want?" "I want to be back with her." "I was an idiot." "I know it now, and I need her." "I am falling apart." "Hey, man." "Quinn, I thought when I saw you again," "I would slap you until you had to have your jaw wired shut." "But I look at you now... and you are like a poor, pathetic, wounded gazelle." "Thank you." "She is gone." " Devon?" " She left last week." " Where?" " Paris." "We have family there." "She got a place." "She is going to take a semester off from the university, find herself." "Well, how long is she going to be there?" "I cannot get in the middle of this." "Hello." "Hi." "I am so sorry that I showed up at the Ethiopian place." "No." "It is fine." "What are you doing?" "Honestly, trying to figure out Devon's exact location in Paris." "So I can chase her down." "Well, did not she send flowers through the shop to her, like, grandparents in France?" "Their address is probably in the database." "She is not staying with them." "They do not speak English." "Well, I really just wanted to say I was sorry for being a total idiot." "No." "Sometimes the healthiest thing we can do is make a fool of ourselves." "Yes, Quinn." " Hi." "Kurt." " Hey." "Listen, I want to send her flowers." "A housewarming gift." "You got to let me do that." "Please." "I am an ex-florist, okay." "I know what flowers she wants, what she needs." "Can I just have her address?" "I mean, come on, what am I going to do?" "What?" "Quinn." "My God!" "You are..." "You are here." " I am." " Okay." "Okay." " Come on in." " All right." "You sure or..." "Yeah." "I mean, I assume that is why you are in Paris, at my door, with a suitcase." "Yeah." "I mean, if it is a bad time or..." " Come in." " Okay." "How did you know where I was?" "I have my ways." " This is beautiful, nice." " Thanks." "Yeah." "Thanks." "I brought you something." "Right." " Clogs." " Yeah." "They are handmade, in America." "Thanks." "How did you find this place?" "Well, a couple who are friends of my mom's..." "It is their son's." "Is he here?" "No, no." "He was when I got here." "He is staying in Provence with his family now." "I actually went down there for a couple of days to stay with his family and him." " Yeah?" " Yeah." "What is he...?" "What does him do this son?" "How old is he?" "He is 32 years." "He is a classical violinist." "He tours around with his dad." "It is funny, I just watched 400 Blows." "Yeah?" "Well, no, I am just saying because it is French and all, and here we are." "It is coincidence." "Did he play for you?" " Did whom..." " The kid." "Guillaume." "Yeah." "Is he okay or..." "He was amazing." "What did he play?" "I think he played some Mozart." "Mozart." "Yeah, it is pretty music." "It is interesting because it is not as technically challenging as other composers, you know, Bach and... it sounded nice." "No." "That is the thing." "It does, you know." "Even though it is easier." "So how long are..." "When are you supposed to go back?" "How long are you here?" "I cannot remember." "I have to check the ticket." "It is flexible." "I mean..." "Yeah." "What is happening?" "Do you not want me here?" "No, it is not that." "I am sorry, it is just..." "Jesus Christ!" "I was not expecting this." "Yeah, because it was a surprise." "I am here in Paris to win you back." "This supposed to be my time to..." " Find yourself, I know." " Yeah." "Well, I came to tell you that you can stop looking because you are perfect the way you are." "You know, this has brought up many issues for me too." "I just do not know if you are ready to be with me." "I am." "I, you know, explored and grew..." "Well, I may need to do that too." "Is there..." "Did you meet someone or something?" "Wait, you met some fucking guy named Guillaume?" "In like the last week." "What happened?" "Are you with him now?" "You do not even know him." "This is bullshit." "It is not bullshit." "So what?" "It is real love." "Okay." "Sorry, I forgot running off to Paris." "The odds are that within the first week," "You will meet the man of your dreams." "The world according to Nancy Meyers." "It has nothing to do with getting back at me." "You were not even supposed to be here." "How is this about you right now?" "And do not judge my feelings or romances." "You thought you are in love with some wannabe model." "She modeled once for Mervyn's." "My feelings were misguided and I am now mature enough to see that." "Are you?" "Have you slept with him?" "No." " But you stayed with him in Prussia or..." " Provence." " Whatever and did you not sleep with him?" " No." " Did you kiss him?" " Quinn..." "You know what, I do not even want to know." "Where are you going?" "You do not even know your way back home and you grew up there." "Well, maybe we should phone Guillaume at his country house and ask him for directions." "See if he has any recommendations for city hotspots." "I am sure he could tell us where the Fitzgerald's, or Hemingway used to smoke opium or whatever." "What?" "No, it is just..." "Scott Fitzgerald actually lived in their house in Provence for a while." "Well, that is most fucking amusing." "Merci." "You do not smoke." "Starting is the hardest part, ma Chérie." "Galois's." "It will put hair on your chest." "I preferred your chest the way it was." "One." "Two." "Three." "If I spit it in the water, will it come back to life?" "No, no, no, we cannot do it on his bed." "What?" "Okay, okay." "This is only good if you have scoliosis." "Yeah, this is the greatest." "My God, that is like Danish deco, like expensive." "How about this thing?" "This thing, it is like a Napoleon era..." "I do not give a shit." "Just, here." "I do, I am sorry." "I am a guest." "Okay." "Just be careful." "It is like a Franco-Prussian teacup." "What, are you his fucking curator?" "Sorry, kind of." " Good morning." " Hi." "Do you sleep well?" "So I was thinking, we should call the airline." "And try to get tickets to go home today or tonight." "What?" "Tomorrow." "Devon." "Fuck it." "I am going to enjoy Paris." "I am not going to let some fucking cultural attaché." "Whatever he is, ruin my time here." "You want to sip Dandelion wine in the country rave about socialism, eat whelks and winkles suck the meat out of a cockle, go ahead." "Move to France, why not." "Yeah, but..." "I am on vacation." "Therefore, I will see you when I see you." "Right now," "I am in the mood for a crepe." "I am sorry." "I would not want to embarrass you by crying in a fucking graveyard." "Why him?" "It is not that I want to be with him." "It just opened my eyes, you know." "He is older, he cooks." "He and his dad played sonatas for me in their living room." "We talked about art, politics and..." "He loves Flaubert." "His family is just very passionate about real stuff, and we just connected." "Therefore, he cooks." "I am sorry, I do not cook." "My family ordered in a lot when I was kid." "I think I would like to be buried here." "Today, if possible." "It must have been a bad crepe, I have never had the dry heaves before." "Yeah, it was incredibly anti-climactic." "What are you doing?" "I have a lunch in about an hour." "A lunch?" "With who?" "My grandparents." "I have never met them." "I am going alone, Quinn." "I am not invited." "Quinn..." "I flew all the way out here to be with you." "And you just sleep with me like I am some kind of boy-toy and..." "Okay, first, I did not ask you to come out here." "No, you could not do that because do not know what you want." "Therefore, you are just stringing me along?" "Yeah, right, okay." "You are the victim." "You are the martyr." "Did you pack your crucifix or did they let you carry it on?" "Jesus." "I am not martyring myself." "You know how selfish this is of you." "Of me?" "You live your life as if it is going to be brilliant when it really counts." "Well, it is passing you by... look at your music." "How can you be a musician?" "When you are too afraid to play in front of anyone?" "I am a perfectionist." "And I told you my hand span..." "Shut the fuck up about your goddamned hand span." "You are just masquerading as this sensitive, magnanimous, self-deprecating person." "Your idea of self-deprecation is everybody else's definition of narcissism." "Well..." "I know you came here to bring me back with you." "However, I do not want to go back, I want to move forward." "I feel like I am just looking for the name of the disease that makes me make sense." "How do I be a man?" "Hello." "Hi!" "You do speak a little English." "Hello." "Okay." "Sorry, I am late." "I could not find the address, but then I did." " Quinn..." " Devon, please." "Look, I have been trying to ask you something." "Quinn, this is Guillaume." "Quinn..." "I did not know you were joining us for lunch, pal." "I am Guillaume." "So nice to meet you." "I thought you were French." "Yeah, well, my father is French." "Yeah, just like Devon." "I will go fetch you a plate." "What is he doing here?" "And why has he being so fucking nice to me?" "Yeah, what an asshole." "He says, he is sorry that they only have a footstool for you to sit on." "No, no, no." "It is my favorite kind of stool." "Yeah, speaking with a French accent." "Is not going to help he understands you." "He wants you to have an aperitif with him." "I just had a crepe..." "Okay." "It is Pernod." "He says, he has been drinking it since he was a baby." "What is in it?" "It derived from licorice." "It is a successor of absinthe, relative of ouzo in Greece." "That does put it in many contexts for me." "She got sushi for me because she knows I like it." "They are saying, you have a French face." "Thank you." "It is awkward, because I have an Algerian neck." "Therefore, they are always fighting." "They are not going to get it, also its offensive." "Do not edit my jokes." "Fine." "See." "The timing was not..." "I thought it was very funny." "She says, she knows you were not originally going to come out to Paris." "What changed your mind?" "I... realized I could not be without Devon." "I want to wake up early just so I can spend more time with her." "When I am around her, the rhythm of... my breathing... literally changes." "I need her." "That is why I am here." "What did she say?" "She wants to know if anyone wants cheese?" "Mozart?" "A genius." "Yeah." "Second concerto, right?" "Yeah." "How about that?" "Are you a fan?" "I more familiar with jazz, but, yeah," "You see, jazz..." "It all sounds the same to me, no." "Guillaume, what was the story you told me about your violin." "Not much of a story." "But..." "Yes, this is a Jean Baptiste Vuillaume." "There was perhaps 3,000 of them made." "This instrument probably costs somewhere in neighborhood of $250,000." "If you can put a price on it." "It seems unusually small, no." "This is my baby." "My godfather is Pierre Boulez." "A famous conductor." "And he gave this violin to my father, when he was first chair for the Orchestra de Paris." "One of my favorite orchestras." "You know, Quinn, Flaubert said:" ""Human speech is a cracked kettle"" ""upon which we tap crude rhythms for the bears to dance to,"" ""while we long to make music to melt the stars."" "Quinn plays the piano." "Yeah, I do." " Yeah." " Dev, can I ask you something?" "That is so neat." "Are you going to play for us?" "Sure." "I have never played a Bluthner before." "But I will give it a shot." "You finished learning it." "My God." "Quinn, your eye is insanely red." "What?" "What?" "It must be the..." " What is it?" " Pingueculitis." "I do not know how to say it in French." "I can barely say it in English." "Let me get you a warm washcloth or something." "Okay, Excusez-moi." "Quinn." "I am in here." "Hi." "What the fuck?" "Your eye looks crazo." "What?" "What are you doing here?" "The address in the database, remember." "Okay, this is awkward." "No shit." "This is not okay." "I am making a fool of myself just like you said." "No." "No, no, no." "I..." "Thank you for coming all the way out here for me, Kelsey." "Quinn, I want..." "Stop talking to me as me." "That is insane that you do that." "I do not feel that way about you, Kelsey." "Jesus, I am sorry." "I was actually..." "No, no, no." "No prostitute." "A friend." "A comrade." "My Vuillaume." "My God." "My God." "Jameson, pick up." "Fuck!" "Hello." "Kurt, do not hang up." "Please." "I am in trouble." " Are you in trouble?" " Yes." "I mean, not physically." "Although, kind of." "All right." "I want your sister back." "I am in Paris and I need her." "I want to marry her." "She is about to go to Provence, with some French tool." "Dude, I am in the middle of a job interview right now." "Kurt, please!" "You are my friend." "Do you want her?" "Because if you hurt her again, I will destroy you." "I know." "I will not, I promise." "Okay." "All right." "You listen very carefully, okay?" "I am not just saying this because I know my sister." "I am saying this because I know women." "You tell her:" "She cannot see him." "She will see him." "And she will fuck him..." "Tonight." "I do not know." "She will fuck him." "Well, what I do then." "Hello?" "Hello?" "Kurt, hello?" "Shit." "Hi." "I have caused quite a tumult" "here today." "You want to translate that or they will get the gist?" "You can recap." "Anyhow," "I am sorry... to everyone." "I hope to make it up... and repay you all... emotionally." "I did this in a clumsy attempt to win you back, Devon." "I apologize for the carnage... that has accrued along the way." "Needless to say, I will be going home now." "I love you, Devon." "I hope you can remember that." "Sorry." "Excusez-moi." "Like any organ does as we grow older, the eye deteriorate..." "My baby boy." "So, how was Paris?" "All right?" "It was..." "I do not want to say epically emasculating... on a trans-continental level." "However..." "No, actually I do." "Yeah, it is hard being a man." "And the hardest part is that it becomes less acceptable to be a boy." "Do you love her?" "Devon?" "I love her so much, but I screwed up." "How did you know where I was?" "I have my ways." "I heard you were coming back tomorrow." "I wanted to surprise you." "Sweet gig." "Yeah." "They pay me in pad sees, but..." "You know, I could stay with Jameson tonight... if you want some space." "Quinn..." "I came back for you." "Really?" "I missed you." "There is a ring in my trunk." "What?" "I have something in my trunk... that I wanted to give you... just at some point." "What?" "What is it?" "Did you say a ring?" "A ring?" "Yeah." "Are you proposing to me?" "Hang on." "Here." "What is this?" "I guess, I guess..." "I am asking you to... marry me." "Do you guess?" "No." "No, no, no." "I am." "I..." "I am." " Here." " Okay." "Sorry." "Devon, will you marry me?" "My God!" "Yes." " Yes?" " Yeah." "I will." "I cannot believe you did this." "I cannot either." "I wanted it to be more romantic." "No." "I just could not wait." "I could not wait." "I love you." "I love you." "There is one last thing I should probably tell you." "What?" "I slept with someone while we were apart... and I told you I had not seen anybody." "That happened, but we were not together." "You did not even know her." "It was just purely me trying to get it out of my system." "As you said, I did not even like it." "I wanted to have a clean slate before we get married... and that is it." "So..." "Are you mad?" "You do not want to..." "I am sorry." "Are you okay?" "How could you?" "How could you ruin this moment for me?" "I am not even upset about the other part, but..." "I cannot tell my friends, my parents this story." "Sure, you can." "You can leave this part out." "Just not even excited anymore." "I am not happy." "And it is fucking September 11th." "Shit, is that today?" "I did not realize." "Well, we will never forget." "We can just get past this." "I mean, we are still going to get married." "I do not want to talk about it right now." "You are not considering" "not marrying me, are you?" "I do not want to talk about it." "However, I, I..." "I made a mistake." "I was just trying to be honest, with you, for us." "Not for me." "I swear." "I have been dreaming... about how I was going to propose to my girlfriend... since third grade." "This was not what it looked like." "I ruined it." "I fucked this up." "You are the love of my life." "I fucked this up." "I have ruined your moment too." "Please, just say yes." "Call people." "Enjoy this." "I will do anything." "Here, just come back outside." "I will propose you again." "Please, just switch your brain off." "It is willpower." "Please!" "I am sorry!" "Please say yes." "Say yes!" "Please!" "Please say yes!" "Okay, okay." "Okay?" "Okay." "Okay." "What the fuck is that?" "The Net did not open." "What?" "The plan was to propose when you got back." "And if you said yes, I was going to pull this string." "I did not have time to test it." "It is filled with rose petals, but..." "I guess, I rigged it wrong." "That is a good thing that you did not propose to me here." "It would have been a total disaster." "You want to try again." "WE WILL NEVER HAVE PARIS Translation and Review by Angel."