"Ooh!" "I'm so glad we moved." "I think we're going to be very happy here." "Don't you, Michael?" "Hi." "Hello." "Michael?" "There's your school, Michael." "See your school?" "You see it?" "Looks good, honey." " Looks good." " Mm-mm!" "I know how you love chops." "Mmm!" "This one goes right to your left." "Very good." "What did Mr. Zellner think of your proposal?" "Well, Marty's smart..." "He knows defoliants are a growth industry." "Are you, uh, glad we moved?" "Oh, I'm so proud of you, Mr. Supervisor." "That's nice!" "Bedtime." "Come on, sport." "I'll carry you." "What's the matter?" "Huh?" "You're not scared of your room, are you?" "It's dark." "It's the nightmares, Nick." "Michael, the cellar's dark." "Your room's dark." "Everything's dark at night." "Pretty soon we'll turn off all the lights, and it'll be dark everywhere." "You really like the dark, don't you, Michael?" "You can be yourself in the dark." "But, you know, there's one dark place that we have to be very careful in." "Do you know where that is?" "Come on." "Up to bed." "When I was a little boy, I was just like you." "I was afraid of everything." "I used to think there was a monster in my closet, and every night he would wait until I was asleep and hide under my bed." "You know what happened?" "I grew up to be a big, strong man, just like my dad, and I wasn't afraid of anything ever again." "Isn't that a nice story?" "Good night, sport." "Good night." "Hi." "Hey, baby." "Let's have a little midnight snack, huh?" "Well..." "Maybe just a little something." "Yeah." "Some of this, maybe?" "Ooh!" "Where is it, Michael?" "You're hot." "You're cold." "You're getting hotter." "Nope." "You're..." "You're warm." "You're boiling." "You found it." "You dip it after you cut it up, Michael." "I don't want any breakfast today." "This isn't breakfast." "It's from the move." "I cleaned out the refrigerator, and everything got defrosted." "What did you find?" "Oh, this and that." "I don't want any." "Don't touch that knife." "I had a nightmare." "Oh, Michael." "You didn't take your pajamas off again, did you?" "Seems the only time you have nightmares is when you take your pajamas off." "You didn't, did you?" "You'll eat something, won't you, baby?" "It was a mistake moving here." "Ow!" "Michael, get out of here!" "Pow." "Behind you, soldier." "Let's show a little hustle." "It's dark." "Well, give me some light." "Mmm!" "Great temperature regulators." "I don't need this cellar." "This cellar is not a playground." "It's for the wine." "It ages there." "New house, new friends." "Oh, Michael, things are really going to change for you now that we're here." "We'll have more time to spend together." "What do you say, sport?" "Good morning, class." "Good morning, Miss Baxter." ""Good morning, Miss Baxter." Well." "Welcome back from your summer vacations." "I hope you had a wonderful vacation." "I had a wonderful summer vacation." "Uh, we have two new additions to our class." "Who knows what that word "addition" means?" "Well, we will study that word, I think." "Sheila Zellner and Michael Laemle, will you please stand up?" "Uh, Sheila, we know you from Mr. Taller's class, don't we?" "Welcome to Section A." "And, Michael, you're from..." "Massachusetts." "Welcome to your new school." "When we have new faces, we love to learn something new, don't we?" "Sheila, can you tell us something new?" "When you make a martini with an onion, it's called a Gibson." "Oh, that... that is new." "Uh, where did you learn that, Sheila?" " My mom's bartending guide." " Uh-huh." "We don't drink those things, though, do we?" "Michael, can you tell us something new?" "Um, if you take a black cat and broil it in the oven and you peel off the skin of the bones and take it off and you chew on the bone, you'll be invisible." "Well, that's certainly new, but that's not true." "That's not a fact." "I do not want anyone doing this with their pets." "Michael, do you have any pets?" "Cats?" "How come you're so tall?" "I was left back." "For what?" " Doing things." " What things?" "Things." "Where did you learn that stuff about the cat?" "From my father." "What does your father do for a living?" "I don't know." "You're so weird." "Where are you from?" " I'm from the moon." " Hmm?" "Where are you from?" "I'm from Massatoosez." "Are you really from the moon?" "Really?" "Yes, of course I'm from the moon." "My family moved there when I was three." "We lived in a small village of Earth people." "Nobody knows about it." "I'm going back there once I have an education." " Really?" " Mm-hmm." "What's it like up there?" "On the moon, you can eat whatever you want, and nobody tells you what to do." "And if you spill on your dress, your parents don't yell at you." "Parents there?" "You ask a lot of questions." "I like that in a man." "Can I visit you there?" "Uh-huh." "Can I stay at your house?" "Sure." "Does Miss Baxter know?" "Know about what?" "About you coming from the moon." "No." "And don't tell her." "Okay?" "I'm home." "Mom?" "You're home early." "Chateau Margaux." "Have to let it breathe for tonight." "Michael." "We didn't know when to expect you." "School's over at a quarter to 3." "Quarter to 3." "We have to remember that." "Elbows off the table, Michael." "Michael met a little girl at school today." "Oh, really?" "Was she pretty?" "She's an alien." "Mm." "Foreign?" "She's from the moon." "She's from the moon." "We can't make friends by telling lies, Michael." "Can you tell us something truthful about this little girl, Mike?" "She taught the class how to make a Gibson." "That's enough." "Eat your meat." "Won't you try just a bite... for your daddy?" "Tsk." "I don't see your eyes closed." "What's that on the ceiling?" "It's just a little crack." "Let me explain something to you." "We use gas now." "Uh, we have to buy gas every month, and the gas goes into the furnace, and it gets hot, and then it travels into these pipes, and they travel up the walls and across the ceiling," "and when the pipes get very hot, they expand." "Maybe they contract." "I'm not exactly sure." "But your father knows." "And when they do that, the plaster cracks." "Found a way where we never have to buy gas anymore." "Really?" "How?" "You find some people, but they have to be hanged, and you... and you chop off their hands, and you throw them in the fire, and they burn forever." "Close your eyes." " I love you." " I love you too." " I love you more." " I love you more." " No, I love you more." " I love you even more." "I love you more, goodnight." "Thirsty." "Michael!" "What the hell are you doing up?" " Nick!" " Christ." "Come on, baby." "Come on, baby." "Let's go to bed." "Let's go to bed." "It's okay." "You're not scared, are you?" "Don't be afraid." "You're safe." "Workbook time." "These are your very own workbooks." "You may keep them throughout the semester." "And I would like you to write your names on the upper right-hand corners of this workbook." "I have a secret." "Michael, what are you doing here?" " Michael, Miss Baxter's gonna catch you." " It's about my parents..." "Michael, we do not get out of our seats without permission in this class, thank you." "Michael, Miss Baxter talking." "Michael, sit down." "Thank you." "I will forgive you because I know this is your special girlfriend." "Now please turn to page 3 of this workbook, and you will see a box." "In this box is what?" "Picture of a family." "And beneath this box is an empty box." "And you will draw a picture of your own family." "Do not copy the picture above the box." "I want to see what your family looks like." "That way I get to know who you are and how you see your family... isn't that fun?" "Laemles'." "♪ Sweet, sweet memories you gave-a me ♪" "♪ You can't beat the memories you gave-a me ♪" "♪ Take one fresh ♪" "♪ And tender kiss ♪" "♪ The memories you gave-a me ♪" "♪ Add one stolen night of bliss ♪" "♪ You can't beat the memories you gave-a me ♪" "♪ One girl, one boy ♪" "♪ Some grief, some joy ♪" "♪ Memories are ♪" "♪ Made of this ♪" "♪ The memories you gave-a me ♪" "♪ Don't forget us... ♪" "I'm so glad you could come In, Mrs. Laemle." "Uh, I'm Millie Dew, the school psychologist." "Now, Michael's teacher was a little concerned about some things that Michael has been saying in class, particularly a picture that he drew." "So I had a..." "Oh, my God." "I dropped my cigarette." "Oh, I got it." "Careful, careful." "Got it." "Almost started a fire." "Okay." "I'm sorry." "I wonder, Mrs. Laemle, could you tell me a little something about Michael?" "Oh, yes." "He's very..." "Tsk." "He's not much of an eater." "Some evenings, I'll fix him a hot entree, a vegetable, and a light dessert." "He'll hardly touch it." "I wonder, could you tell me, do Michael and his father have a close relationship?" "Very close." "What kind of things do they do together?" "Oh, many things." "Like what?" "Oh, it's hard to say." "I would just..." "I would have to say many things and just leave it at that." "The beautiful part about this new defoliant, Marty, is that it looks just like a giant CO2 molecule." "What is that over there?" "A giant CO2 molecule's a plant's dream, right?" "Wrong." "It completely confuses the plant's respiratory organelles." "See, it gets so excited breathing in the giant CO2 molecule that it forgets to synthesize glucose." "In other words, it forgets to eat." "Now, you take your standard jungle outpost." "Our planes fly over and drop a concentrate of this stuff." "And then what happens?" "Your first light rainfall, and the catalyzed resin goes to town." "48 hours, this jungle is mulch." "You drop the pellets a week before a monsoon, and presto." "The root systems die, and the whole place gets washed away." "Just like little boys who touch things they're not supposed to." "Don't smudge the glass, Michael." "What a dad, huh, Mike?" " You know what this is, Mike?" " I think it's a pen." "It's an opportunity." "I'll bet you knew this pen was made of chemicals, but did you know that if I took the exact same chemicals that make up this pen and re-combine them," "I could make, I don't know, an automobile." "Maybe you could make an electric light." "The whole world is made up of chemicals, Mike." "You can make anything with them." "But if you're smart, you'll make opportunities." "The original show with a heart, Strike It Rich." "No funny business at the Zellners' tonight, Michael." "This is an important night for your father." "You like Sheila." "Why don't you just play with Sheila?" "Thank you very much." "Thank you and welcome to Strike it Rich and I want to remind you..." "Hmm?" "She's the plant manager's daughter." "You be nice to her." "Do you need some help with that, sport?" "Right, Mort, and you can call because our heartline to America makes calls to any..." "Let's get it buttoned up here first." "Soto give yourself a chance to be called as often as you please, you just send us your name and address and your phone number where you can be reached during our Wednesday night broadcast." "See, Michael, we have to fit in." "This is a new place." "You understand?" "So we must be on our best behavior." "I love your hair." "Sure." "I mean, it's a very exciting discovery that I've made recently." "Oh, it's not hard." "Your hair would be curlier if you spent six hours under a dryer." "Seven milligrams, the rat showed massive liver damage, but at six..." "Which means in a human liver you could go up to..." "Does your husband make you as sick at dinner as mine does?" "Oh, I behave myself." " Don't I, dear?" " Well..." "One club." " One spade." " Pass." "Marty, did you deal me this mess?" "You know, you are making a glutton out of me." "How do you make this?" "Actually, I got it off the side of a Corn Chex box." " I don't believe that." " It's true!" " I don't believe that." "And instead of raisins, I used miniature marshmallows." "Mmm!" "So good." "Ooh." "Two diamonds." " Three clubs." " Hmm." "Cut your little hands off." "We're gonna cut your little hands." "Don't worry..." "Michael..." "Don't worry, it's not gonna hurt." "Don't be such a baby." "Just cutting your hands off." "Why should you be scared?" " Come on, stay still, stay still." " Please stop." " Michael..." " What's that?" " That's the grown-ups." " What are they doing?" "I don't know." "You can never tell." "But last night my daddy emptied the dishwasher naked." " Why?" " I don't know." "I hear you're doing wonderful things with adipoidal tissue." "Three spades." "Pass." "Don't give him a big head, Gladys." "I'll have to give him another raise." "What are they doing?" "Changing" "They change when they're old." "Gladys, this is your fault." "This iced tea is making me giddy." "Um, this iced tea is from Long Island." "Do you mean to tell me there's vodka in this?" "Just a little." "Oh, I can't believe it!" " Makes the bidding more interesting." " Well, I'm passing." "Pass." "Pass." "It's your lead, Gladys." "Trump?" "You led trump, Gladys?" "Shoot me." "What the hell." "Let's have a drink here." "Oh, I'll get you a towel." "Don't show the cards." "The cards?" "Oh, well, I didn't have anything anyway!" "All right, all right, now, let's..." "Now, let's be serious here." "You watching me?" "That's smart." "It's good to watch." "But you know what?" "Other people are watching you." "At school, at home... maybe even in the bathroom." "Don't let them." "First law of survival." "Do you understand?" "It's the next best thing to being invisible." "Breakfast." "Michael, Michael, there's somebody very special who would love to meet you." "Come in." "Michael, come on in." "Come on." "Sit down." "Look what I have here." "I have a picture that you drew." "You drew this?" "It's very different." "It's very interesting." "Can you tell me something about it?" "No?" "Okay." "I'm Millie." "How do you do?" "Aren't you gonna tell me your name?" "You already know my name." "Yes, I do." "All right." "Hey, Michael, would you like to play a game?" "What kind of game?" "I'm going to show you some drawings, and I want you to tell me what you think about them." " Okay." " All right?" "Okay." "What do you think's happening here, Michael?" "What are they looking at?" "I want you to tell me." "What do you think they're looking at?" "I don't know, but I'm scared." "Of what?" "You know." "You know what's in the picture." "All right." "But you tell me." "You're not a real doctor." " I'm what?" " You're not a real doctor." "No, I'm not." "I'm a social worker." " You didn't go to medical school?" " No." "No, I didn't, because I like doing research." "Why?" "I don't know." "A lot of people like doing research." " I'm working on..." " Why?" "Would you..." "Would you mind very much if I had a cigarette?" " No." " Okay." "I put them in my pocket." "What?" "You're not a real grown-up." " Oh, I certainly am." " Real grown-ups don't get upset." " Hi, Mort." " Yes, Sir, Mr. Laemle." "There's an interesting case I've been keeping an eye on." "We've observed some unusual reactions to the toxins." "I thought you'd like to take a little peek as long as you're here." "Is he fresh?" "He looks fresh." "Yes, Sir." "Just up this morning from central pathology." "Good." "All right, I'll need 100 grams of liver tissue." " Puree?" " Yeah, puree it." "I'm going to be testing different concentrations of the toxin, so make up a few preparations." "And keep it sterile this time." "Sorry." "I will autoclave all the vessels." "Anything else?" "Yeah, I may as well get some lymph tissue while we're in there." "Okay." "Hi." "Dinner's at 6." "What are we eating?" "Leftovers, honey." "Leftovers from what?" "From the refrigerator." "We had leftovers every day since we moved here." "I'd like to know what they were before they were leftovers." "Well, before that, they were leftovers-to-be." "Eat your dinner, honey." "No, thank you." "Your son, the vegetarian." "Are you sick?" "You want to go to bed?" "Lily, now, damn it, we can't send him to bed every time he doesn't want to eat." "Daddy's had a rough day." "Why don't you go to bed early?" "Let him do it himself." "You happy now?" "Mom?" "I didn't have a nightmare." "Rise and shine!" "Oh, Lord, Judith, I don't know." "It's too early to say what's wrong with Michael." "I can't put my finger on anything specific." "He's too slippery." "He's bright." "Ooh." "He's rude." "True." "But he's very..." "he's perceptive." "I don't think he trusts me yet." " I think he's scared." " Yeah." "God, I don't know." "Maybe he's just pretending to be scared." " He's an odd little mystery..." " Odd." "Come on." " You know what I wish?" " Hmm?" "I wish that I could label him, put him in a box and say, "Oh, Judith, here's Michael, the little manic-depressive."" " Could you do that?" " No, I can't." "I can't find him, I can't define him." "But you know something?" "I like him." "What are you doing up there?" "Looking at every little pore on your tiny little body." "Why aren't you at school today?" "I'm not gonna go to school anymore." "I quit school." "You're gonna quit too, and we're gonna get fake driver's licenses and get one of those camper-trailer things." "And at night, you will be driving." "I will be inside making dinner." "When we come home, they'll be so happy to see that we're alive that... we'll never be punished again." "♪ Hello, baby ♪" "Going in your house!" "You're not allowed." "♪ Ha ha ha ha ha!" "♪" "♪ Oh, you sweet thing!" "♪" "♪ Chantilly lace and a pretty face ♪" "♪ And a pony tail hangin' down ♪" "♪ A wiggle and a walk and a giggle and a talk ♪" "♪ Make the world go 'round ♪" "♪ There ain't nothin' in the world like a big-eyed girl ♪" "♪ That make me act so funny, make me spend my money ♪" "Whoop!" "♪ Make me feel real loose like a long-necked goose ♪" "♪ Like a girl Oh, baby, that's what I like ♪" "We blew a fuse." "What's that, baby?" "But..." "But..." "But..." "Uh, honey!" "But..." "Oh, baby, you know what I like!" "♪ Chantilly lace and a pretty face and a pony tail hanging down ♪" "Sheila?" "Sheila!" "♪ A wiggle and a walk and a giggle and a talk, Lord ♪" "♪ Make the world go 'round, 'round, 'round ♪" "♪ There ain't nothin' in the world like a big-eyed girl... ♪" "Sheila?" "You should come in here." "It's really cool." " Please get out." " No, no, no, no, no." "I will if you take off your shirt." "I'm not moving till you take it off, buster." "I'm not allowed to go near the freezer." "No, no, no, no, no, no, no." "You can't put me in here." "Because you've got it all over..." "Michael!" "You can leave the book." "I want to tell you a story." "This is a story about a boy, a very naughty little boy about your age, who thought he was better than everyone else, so he played where he wasn't supposed to play, and he destroyed other people's private property." "Do you know why this little boy was this way?" "He only cared about himself." "And in the end, he grew up to be a very lonely, unhappy, self-centered little man." "And do you know how this made his parents feel?" " Do you?" " I don't think that this is the way." "You're scaring him." "Am I?" "Am I?" "Oh, well, mister, you scare me too." "You don't look like me." "You don't act like me." "You hate me." "Well, you know what?" "I'm not so crazy about you either." "Nick, what are you doing?" "You are never to see Sheila Zellner again." "Never!" "Sheila?" "Sheila?" "Sheila?" "Have you seen Michael Laemle?" " Why?" " Oh, his parents thought he might be here." "Well, he's not my only friend." "Just asking." "But you are, Michael." "Your mom is nice." "No, she's not." "She's horrible." "Just because she washes her puffy little hands before dinner and puts her napkin on her knee and acts polite to you." "You think everybody's parents are so wonderful." "It's not true." "Daddy had this really nice division manager." "Went out every day, stole cars, came home, and beat his wife." "How do you know what your father really does all day?" " He goes to the plant." " Yes, but how do you really know?" "He could be in jail, and the guards let him out at night so that he could go home, see his family, so his family doesn't find out that he's in jail and get embarrassed." "How do you really know?" "Daddy says your father has a lot going on inside his head." "Doesn't say much." "Just like you." "Want a ride, sport?" "Into the foxhole, soldier." " And where have you been, sport?" " Nowhere." "Keep your damn hands off the laundry." "Sheila Zellner was a bad influence on you, sport." "I think we can look forward to some improvement in your behavior." "Well, this is just great." "Do you know what our dinner looks like?" "Could you help me get the laundry out of the car?" "Hmm?" "Oh." "Isn't that nice?" "Daddy picked up the laundry." "Mmm." "That's good." "Hmm?" "Well..." " How was school, Michael?" " Great." "Eat, Michael." "Thanks." "Where did you find it?" " On the front lawn." " Really?" "Nick!" "I'm not accusing him." "I'm just asking." "Michael?" "I did." "I found it on the front lawn next to the... next to the door." "Mm." "Well," "I think this meat loaf is dry." "Do you know what happens to little boys who tell stories?" " Honey." " No." "The muscles in their jaws start to tighten." "Then their lips get stuck together permanently." "I don't think that's true." "I think it is." "I don't feel well." "I'd better go to bed." "Okay, honey." "I'll be up in a little while." "I may be sleeping." "Come here." "Don't I get one?" "He's having dreams again." "His head works overtime." "There's too many thoughts for a boy his age." "I know what your parents do at night, Michael." "Think you want to tell me what you're doing up at 1:00 in the morning?" "Hmm?" "What's that in your pocket?" "Give it to me." "A snack." "Now what have we said about snacks late at night, Michael?" "Take your robe off and get into bed." "Now, when we get up in the morning, we're going to brush our teeth twice as hard and twice as long, okay, sport?" "Okay." "Good night." "Michael?" "It's all right, come on in." "What's the matter?" "I saw a bad thing." "Maybe it was only a nightmare." "Go on, sit down." "Sometimes, you know, we have dreams, and we think we really saw something, and it's only a..." "it's only a nightmare." "Sometimes these things are hard to remember." "Put yourself in the dream, Michael." "What do you see?" "I can't tell you." "Yes, you can." "You don't have to be afraid, Michael." "You can tell me." "They won't let me." "They hear everything." " Who, Michael?" " My parents." "Michael, don't be afraid." "Nothing's going to happen to you." "Where are you?" "In the hallway." "Are you having a nightmare?" "It's night, but I don't think it's a nightmare." "Okay, good." "What are you doing?" "There's a man there." "What do you see, Michael?" "Tell me." "Talk to me." "There's nothing to be afraid of." "I'm here, and I'd like to help you." "Michael, if you can't talk about it," "I can't help you, you understand?" "Michael?" "Michael?" "Michael, wait!" "Michael!" "Michael!" "Michael, wait!" "Give me your hand." "Don't be afraid, Michael." "Did you have a dream about this cellar?" "Was this cellar in your dream, Michael?" "What?" "What do you see?" "Come on, Michael." "It's okay." "Don't be afraid." "Maybe..." "Maybe you had a nightmare." "Maybe this basement was in your dream." "You think that's what it is?" "Michael, there's nothing to be frightened of." "What are you looking at?" "Oh, God." "It's just a rat." "Is that what you were afraid of?" "Me too, a little." "It's okay." "Sometimes they just get in there, you know, to get warm." "It's getting cold." "Let me see." "Don't be afraid, okay?" "Okay." " Aah!" "Michael?" "Michael." "Michael!" "Come on!" "Michael?" "Michael?" "Michael, please don't hide." "Michael?" "Michael?" "Wash your hands, Michael." "Dinner's ready." "Michael?" "Are you ready to behave?" "I thought I'd tell you a little story." "Want to hear a story?" "I'll tell you a little story, and I want you to shut up until I'm finished." "You eat people." "I've been watching you, Michael." "You're an outsider." "You're not like them." "You're like us." "I don't love you anymore." "Yes, you do." "We're bound for life, no matter how much you hate us." "I'm untying you." "And when you're free, you can sit down with us and eat, or you can run outside and shout your little secret to the world." "And you know what they'll do?" "Michael, hmm?" "They'll come here, and they'll burn us." "Is that what you want?" "Hmm?" "Do you want to see them burn your parents?" "Mint jelly?" "I trimmed off all the fat." "I've been thinking about the mountains." " We could move there." " Hmm." "Live simply, back in the woods." "With a major highway nearby, of course, for the accidents." "We'd have more time together." "Especially us, Michael." "There's so much I want us to do... talk about." "Plate." "Mmm-mm!" "Well, say something." " Are you happy?" " He's tired tonight." "He hasn't eaten a thing." "Are you tired?" "I'll feed you." "Just a few bites." "I'm sure you'll acquire a taste for it." "Your mother did." "I learned to love it." "Open wide." "Nick!" "Nick!" "Kids!" "Who made the little bastards?" "Kids!" "Let him go." "Let him go, Nick!" "Let go!" "Don't hurt him, Nick!" "We'll have another one, Lily." "We'll bring him up right." "Michael?" "Where are you going, sport?" "Where..." "Where are you?" "Say something, sport." "Are my mother and my father in heaven, Grandma?" "Yes, they are, sweetheart." "Is heaven very far away?" "Yes." "Very far." "I think we have a sleepy little boy on our hands." "Well, up you go and off to bed, and tomorrow we're gonna do something fun." "What do they eat in heaven?" "Oh, I really don't know." "Off to bed, you two." "Come on." "You know, pretty soon, Michael, you keep growing like this, you're gonna have to start carrying Grandpa." "I've got your bed warmed up for you." "Anyway, we'll have lots of fun tomorrow." " Here you are." " In you go." " Off with your slippers first." " Nosedive." "Wow." "That a boy." "I love you, Grandpa." "I love you too, son." "Good night, dear." "I love you, Grandma." "I love you too, sweetheart." "Come along, Mother." "He looks just like his daddy, doesn't he, Grandpa?" "Bigger eyes." "Won't you try just a bite?" "For your daddy?" "♪ It was a one-eyed, one-horned flying' purple people eater ♪" "♪ One-eyed, one-horned flying' purple people eater ♪" "♪ A one-eyed, one-horned flying' purple people eater ♪" "♪ Sure looked strange to me I I' One eye?" "♪" "♪ Well, he came down to Earth, and he lit in a tree ♪" "♪ I said, "Mr. Purple People Eater, don't eat me" ♪" "♪ I heard him say in a voice so gruff ♪" "♪ I wouldn't eat you 'cause you're so tough ♪" "♪ It was a one-eyed, one-horned flying' purple people eater ♪" "♪ One-eyed, one-horned flying' purple people eater ♪" "♪ One-eyed, one-horned flying' purple people eater ♪" "♪ Sure looked strange to me One horn?" "♪" "♪ I said, "Mr. Purple People Eater, what's your line?" ♪" "♪ He said, "Eatin' purple people, and it sure is fine" ♪" "♪ "But that's not the reason that I came to land" ♪" "♪ I want to get a job in a rock and roll band ♪" "♪ Well, bless my soul, rock and roll, flying purple people eater ♪" "♪ Pigeon-teed, undergrowed, flying' purple people eater ♪" "♪ He wears short shorts I' I' Friendly little people eater ♪" "♪ What a sight to see ♪"