"Kazakhstan Ministry Of Information Presents" "A Kazakstan Television Production" "In Association With Bagatov Films" "Subtitles originally by:" "speedymail and OBR" "English version for Borat.TS.XviD-DiNATY by:" "VaLoco" "My name Borat." "I like you." "I like sex." "It nice." "This my country of Kazakhstan." "It locate between Tajikistan and Kirghistan, and assholes, Uzbekistan." "This my town of Kusek." "This Orkin, the town rapist." "Naughty, naughty!" "Over here, our town kildergarden." "And here, live Muktar Sahanov, our town mechanic and abortionist." "This my house." "Entry, please." "He is my neighbour, Nusultan Tudialkbai." "He is pailing my assholes." "I get a window from a glass, he must get a window from a glass." "I get a step, he must get the step." "I get a clock radio, he cannot afford." "Great success." "This is Natalia." "She is my sister." "She is number 4 prostitute in all of Kazakhstan." "Nice!" "This is my mother." "She oldest woman in all of Kusek." "She is 43." "I love her." "And this, my wife, Oksana." "She is a Borat." "What did you say about me, you skinny piece of shit?" "What did you say about me, you skinny piece of shit?" " Not now, please." "Why dont you do something useful and dig your mother a grave?" "This where I lives." "My bed." "This is a VCR -recorded." "This are play-cassettes." "Now I show you outside from my house's." "My hobbies." "Ping-pong." "Sun bathed." "Disco dance." "And on weekends I travel to capital city and watch a ladies while they make a toilet." "My profession, work as a television reporter for Kazakstan." "Crazy, you'll see." "The Running of the Jew - 2004" "Here comes the Jew." "It's a big one this year." "Whoaaa...." "He nearly got the money there." "Wait, here comes Mrs. Jew" "She's stopped." "Is she?" "Is she?" "Here it comes." "She's laid a Jew egg." "Go, kids!" "Crush that Jew chick before it hatches!" "Although Kazakstan a glorious country, it have a problem too." "Economic, social and jew." "This way the ministry of information has decided to send me to US and A, greatest country in the world, to learn a lessons for Kazakhstan." "I will travel with most venerable producer, Azamat Bagatov." "No, not film me!" "Film him!" "Urkin, not too much raping..." "humans only" "Doltan, I'll get you a new arm in America." "I go to America!" "Wave goodbye to your clock radio, asshole!" "If you cheat on me, I will come over there... and snap off your cock." "An Official Production by Azamat Bagatov" "Repoted By Borat Sagdiyev" "Borat Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan" "JFK International Airport New York" "I arrive in America'a airport with clothings, US dollars and a jar of gipsy tears to protect me from AIDS." "Hello, my name Borat." "I not american, I new in town." "Nice meet you." "Hello, nice meet you." "Hey, what your name?" "My name mind your own fucking business." "Hello, nice meet you." "My name Borat." "Get the fuck out of here before I break your jaw!" "You're fucking with the wrong one man!" "OK, sorry." "I get it." "Relax." "OK, no problem." "Sorry." "Wellcome to the Wellington Hotel." "Do you wanna pay for the entire stay now?" "I pay you for one night." "How much?" "One night is 117 $ and 17 cents." "We'll call it 85." "We'll call it 117." "Let me get the door for you." "Very nice room." "We're not in the room yet, sir." "Hold on." "Pack your things." "We'll be moving again shortly." "I will not move to a smaller room." " Sir, this is your floor." "I'm gonna take you to your room." " This is not my room?" "This is the elevator." "It takes you to the floor where your room is." "Nice." "King in the castle." "King in the castle." "Have a chair." "I have a chair." "Go do this, go do this." "I king in the castle." "Hi, my name Borat." "I new in town." "I just say kiss you." "Say hello." "Hi, my name Borat." "I new in town." "I just say kiss you." "Say hello." "Do not touch me!" "Do not get near my face." " I kiss you." "You kiss me, I pop you in your fucking balls." "Nice!" "Very nice." "How much?" "Hello, nice meet you." "My name Borat." " Get away!" "What you doing?" " I want to say hello." "This have been most happiest days of my lives." "I was very excite to start my reportings." "America is known for its sense of humor." "UN survery say that Kazakhstan have 98th lowest humor." "We must improve." "Hurry, hurry!" "Just dry him, no hand relief." "How is my back pussy?" " Not bad." "Moist." "And what time is this interview?" "Soon, my friend." "Gently." "Enough!" "Hello, my name is Pat Haggerty." " Nice meet you." "Borat." "Pat Haggerty Humor Coach." "Should I make joke about my mother-in-law?" "In America, that's a very popular joke." "Do you have a mother-in-law joke?" "I have sexy time with my mother-in-law?" " A what time?" "Sexy time." "I made sexy time with my mother-in-law." "You had sex with your mother-in-law?" " Yes." "I don't think that americans will find that funny." " No, it is not a joke." "I'm talking about humor." " Oh, yes, you ask me about my mother-in-law." "Do you have a joke about your mother-in-low?" " No, why make a joke on a mother-in-law?" "Do you ever laugh on people with retardation?" "Here in America, we try not to make fun of, or be funny with things that people don't choose." "But perhaps you have seen not someone with very funny retardation." "My brother, Bilok, have a verry funny retardation." "Mental retardation, you know, causes a lot of pain hardship for a lot of families." "Sometime, my sister, she show her vagin to my brother and say" "You will never get this!" "You will never get this!" "He, behind his cage, crazy -crazy, everybody laughing." "You never get this." "But, one time, he break the cage, and he get this." "And then we all laugh." "High 5!" "That would not be funny in America." "What is a NOT jokes?" "A NOT joke is when we try to make fun of something, and what we do is we make a statement, that we pretend it's true, but at the end, we say NOT." "Which means it's not true." " So teach me how to make one." "What color is your suit?" " This suit is grey." "Grey, I would call it blue." " It's grey." "All right, it's blue grey, but it certainly not black." "Let's say it's grey" " It is grey." "A NOT joke I would say:" "that suit is black NOT!" "This suit is not black." " No, no, no." "Not needs to be at the end." "This suit is black-not." "This suit is black, pause, you know what pause is?" " Yes." "This suit is black NOT!" "This suit is black pause NOT." "You don't say pause." "This suit is black." "That's a pause NOT." "This suit is black." " Ok." "NOT." "Everybody say USA television much better, but this I watch for three hours and do not change." "This two arrows to change the channel." "Be careful, be careful, CJ." "This CJ was like no kazak woman I have ever seen." "She had golden hairs, teeth as white as pearls." "And the ass hole of a 7 years old." "For the first time in my lifes, I was in love." "Get Up!" "Get up!" "Why you aren't you ready?" "!" "We have people to interview today!" "I understand." "Learn what you can from this women's group." "My hair?" " It's beautiful." "Don't worry." "In Kazakstan, it is illegal for more than 5 woman to be in the same place." "Except for in brothel or in grave." "In US of A, many womans meet in a groups, called a feminists." "I find them all." "Feminist Veterans Of America." "So what does means this feminism?" "It's the theory that women should be equal to men in matters..." "You are laughing." "Well, that is the problem." "Do you think a woman should be educate?" " Definitely." "But is it not a problem that a woman have a smaller brain that a man?" "That is wrong." "But a government scientist doctor lama prove that it is size of squirrel." "Your government scientist?" "He's wrong." "Give me a smile, baby." "Why angry face?" "Well, what you say is very demeaning." "Do you know the world demeaning?" "No." "I could not concentrate on what this old men were saying." "All I could think about was this lovely woman in her red water panties." "Who was this CJ?" "Last night, I see, in my hotel room, a woman called CJ on the television." "Do you know her?" "No." "She from a town called the Baywatches." "She's just on television." "Her name was Pamela." "Do she live here in New York?" " She lives in California." "O, you mean California." " He's gonna look her up." "Ok, can we finish now?" "Listen pussycat, try smile a bit." "We're finished, we have to leave." "Although I was obsessed by this CJ, I could not pursue her." "or else my wife will snap off my cock." "Mister Sagdiyev?" " Yes." "I have a telegram for you." "You can read?" " Yes, I can." "Dear Boratsendiev, your wife Oksana was walking your retarded brother in the woods when a bear attacked and violated and break her." "She is now dead." "What you saying my wife is dead?" "This it what it's..." "Yes, sir." "I'm sorry to inform you but that's what the telegram says." "Hi 5!" "What do you mean "California"?" "I have arranged all our filming for New York." "But we need to leave New York to find the real America " "Rodeos, cowboys..." "it will be better for our documentary." "But why California?" "What's there?" "Pearl Harbor is there..." "and so is Texas." "Eventually, I persuaded Azamat that we will travel to California and make our reportings along the way." "He insist we do not fly, in case the jews repeated their attack of 9/11." "Okay, I'll find another way for us to get there." "My name is Mike." "I'm gonna be your driving instructor." "Wellcome to our country." "My name Borat." "I'm not used to that, but that's fine." "Now, you do know how to drive a little bit?" " Yes." "Put it in D." " What?" "Drive." "Wait a second, wait a second." "Have you driven a car before?" "Yes, many times." " All right, let's go this way." "Wait a minute, I don't want you to hit anybody." "Now use two hands now." " What?" "But then it look like I'm holding a gipsy while I eat my hram." "I don't care what it looks like." "Use two hands when you drive, ok?" "Watch the children." " Ok, no problem." "Must not hit the children." "Look, there is a woman in a car." "Can we follow her?" "And maybe make a sexy time with her." "Why not?" " Because a woman has a right to choose who she has sex with." "What!" "?" "They do?" " There must be consent." "How about that." "That's good, ha?" "It's not good for me." "You want have a drink?" " You can't drink when you drive." "It's against the law." "Who is this car that follow us?" "Maybe we lose them" " We better not lose them." "Hey, don't look at me." "Eat my teets." "We'll make a right turn right here." "Don't look at me like that." "That will eat your shit." "You fuck my mother." "He.. do before." "Look on me." "They're gonna throw us in jail." "Me with you." "Why in jail." "He look on me!" "Behind." "You can't say that." "I like you?" "Do you like me?" " I do like you." "You are my friend?" " You're a nice young man and I am your friend." "Will you be my boyfriend?" " I won't be your boyfriend." "Why not?" "You don't like me?" " Don't push, I can be." "Great success." "Now time to make purchase of motorcars." "I want to have a car that attract woman with a shave down below." "That would be a Corvette." "Or a Hummer." "We will try to help you out here." "A man, yesterday, tell me, if I buy a car," "I must buy one with a pussy magnet." " He means a car that women would like." "Yes, but where you keep this magnet?" " No, no there's no magnet." "He means the vehicle." "Women love the Hummers." "Do this have a pussy magnet?" " No." "If I give you good price, will you please put in pussy magnet?" "There's no such thing in this country as a... magnet." "If this car drive into a group a gipsy, will there be any damage to the car?" "It depends on how hard you hit them and all that?" " Hard!" "If somebody rolls on the windshield, it could crack your windshield." "How fast do I need to go to guarantee I kill them?" "With this vehicle right here, probably doing 35-40 mph will do it." "When I buy my wife, at the start, she was cook good, her vagin work well, and she strong on plow." "But after three years, when she was 15, she become weak, her voice become a deep Borat, Borat." "She receive a heir on chest." "And her vagin hang like sleeve of wizard." "How do I know that this will not happen with the car?" "Chevrolet guarrantees that with the warantee." "I like very much buy this Hommers." "How much is it?" " 52 thousand." "I am looking for something between 600- 650 dollars." "We don't have cars for 650 in that you can buy." "I might be able to sell you a ho-sale car, a car with a lot of mileage for 700 but with no warranty." " Ok." "California, I coming." "First on my journey was Washington DCs, home of the mighty US warlords, premier Bush." "Look who has an embassy here!" "Fuck you, mother fuckers!" "We arrive here to learn from american politic." "As I arrange interview with party official from ruling regime." "BOB BARR Former Georgia Congressman." "We're are good friend, yes?" " I hope so." "It is custom to have cheese at the start." " Thank you." "My wife, she make this cheese." " Very nice." "She make it from a milk from her tit." "After interview, I encounter traditional american street festival." "Gay Pride Parade" "People here were much more friendly than in New York." "Next morning, I interview politician who is a genuine chocolate face." "No make-up." "ALAN KEYES 2-time Republican Presidential Candidate." "On a sunday, I arrive in Washingtons, there was a parade, I make two friends, from this parade, I invite them back to my hotel room, we drink like a normal in Kazakstan, we wrestle like a normal in Kazakstan," "then they say I wash you in the shower, he wash me in the shower." "It sounds like you met somebody who is from, what is called in America, the Gay community." "What it mean... gay?" " Homosexual." "Homosexual... you mean?" "You telling me that man who tried to put rubber fist in my anus was homosexual?" "Even though my anus was broken, I knew that rest of our journey would be great success." "We left Washingtons and continue towards California." "Howdy, partners!" "Yes Minister, we're on schedule." "Yes I am standing in the middle of Times Square." "It is time to prepare for your TV appearance." "Remember to talk of singing National Anthem at rodeo." "Don't worry, I am a TV professional." "This morning, we have a very special guest here in the studio, this is Borhat Sahadyev." "He is travelling across America to give a taste of life here in the United States." "He spent the last few days here in our area." "Hello, my name Borat." "Before we start, can you tell me because I want to make your ends and then" "I come back here and... if you tell me what me on the we start..." "We started." "We are actually live on the air right now." "I very excite!" "Hello, US and A!" "Hello, US and A!" "I very excite!" "I very excite to be here!" "Hello!" "Hello to you as well." "Now, real quickly, why are you here in the United States?" "Because I want to learn from US and A your culture and to understand from how thing happen and to take this lesson back to my country." "All right, would you like to have a seat?" " yes." "One of the things that you'ved enjoyed so much about..." "Can I have a microphone so people can hear me?" " They hear you right now." "You're miked up." "This little thing right here that's the microphone." "Hello, hello, nice to meet you." "Welcome to the United States." "Thank you very much for coming on, we appreciate it." "When you come to Kazakstan, you can stay my house, you can sleep my house and you can use my sister." "Metereologist Ted Johnson with the latest on tropical storm..." "Traffic is flowing along smoothly along interstate 55" "Very nice have me." "What your name?" "We're on air right now, doing the weather." "Go with Adrianne, she's calling you to go over here." "He is a she?" " Somehow!" " Very nice." "What your name?" "What you do here?" " I'm the weather guy." "Let's get over to the weather." "You can see the rain.." "Nice to meet you!" " Thank you." "You are singing at a rodeo tonight!" "Why didn't you mention it?" "What can I do?" "They are not professional." "Get a move on, we have 100 miles to go." "Of course, every picture that we get back from the terrorists or anything else the muslims, they look like you, like your black moustache" "Shave your damn moustache so you not look so conspicuous so you look like maybe an italian, or something, as far as people looking at you." "I see a lot of people...." "Young muslims working on bomb... strapped to it." "And you probably are not a muslim." "Maybe that't not your religion." "No, I'm kazak." "I follow the hawk." " But you look like one." "This thing gets over with, and we win it, and kick the butts over there, and all the damn sons of the buck hanging from the gallow, by that time, you've proven yourself and they'll understand you and be accepted." "I don't kiss you." " Why not?" "The people that do the kissing over here are the one that float around like that." "Ah, they..." " Yes, they'll wait for them to kiss." "In my country, they take them and they take them to jail and finish them." "Take around and hang them?" "That's what we're trying to get done here." "Ladies and gentlemen, would you please give a worm american welcome to a gentleman who has come all the way from Kazakstan and we are honored to have singing our national anthem" "Borat Sagdiyev." "My name Borat." "I come from Kazakstan." "Can I say first we support your war of terror." "May we show our support to our boys in Irak." "May US and A kill every single terrorist." "May George Bush drink the blood of every single man, woman and child of Irak." "May you destroy that country so that for the next thousand years not even a single lizard will survive in their desert." "To show our friendship, I now will sing our kazak national anthem to the tune of your national anthem." "Listen." "Kazakstan is the greatest country in the world," "All other countries are run by little girls," "Kazakstan is number one exporter of potasium," "Other central asian countries have in theory our potasium" "Kazakstan is the greatest country in the world," "All other countries is the home of the gays." "We nearly died last night." "This journey is cursed." "We should have stayed in New York." "I was sad." "The rodeo peoples did not like me." "What if Pamela did not like me too?" "We needed something to change our fortunes." "Look Azamat, a Gypsy village." "Let us extract some of their tears so we can remove the curse." "Do not fear me, gipsy." "All I want from you is your tears." "Let's give them to me or I would take them." "I'm not a gipsy." "I'm midwestern farmer's daughter, americana." "You have many treasures." "Who did your rob for this?" "We didn't rob them." "They all came from inside the house." "I will look in your treasures, gipsy." "Is this understood?" "I will look on them." " Please, do." "Who is this lady you shrunk?" "Was she the owner of this house that you came in front of?" "There's couple more child's doll." "Do not try and shrink me, gipsy." "I, serious." "These are your spells?" "No, look on this." "Oh, Baywatch." " Baywatch." "Azamat, great success!" "I have the tears." "Onwards to California!" "Lets go!" "What's that you've got there?" " It's nothing." "Don't worry about it." "Are we going the right way?" "I do not know, this map is from 1917." " Where the hell are we?" "I am going to stop to ask." " No, no, no, keep going." "Keep going." "I need a direction to California, please." " You're far away from home." "I travel with my friend Azamat Bagatov, we travel across the country" "You look like Michael Jackson, Beat It." "I like you, peoples." "Can you teach me how to dress?" "How can I be like you?" "First is to loosen up your belt" "Don't pull down like you try to go..." "Like this?" " But don't show your Huggies down there." "What kind of music do you listen to?" "I like very much..." "Do you know...?" "You gotta lick it, before you kick it." "Can you teach me speak like you?" " What you're trying to say?" "How do you say How do you do?" " What's up with it." "Pull over and let's see if we can stay here." "What's up with it, vanilla face?" "Me and my homie Azamat just park our slab outside," "We're looking for somewhere to post up are black asses for the night." "So, bang-bang, skid, skid, nigger." "We're just a couple of people" "Leave now or we'll call the cops and have you taken out." "We can't stay here, they are 'player haters'." "You have a room for tonight?" " Yes, definitely." "So, come on in." "Your friend also." "Beautiful house." "This.." " All the paintings in the house I did." "What is this man?" " This is a yemenite jew, and he's working on a piece of jewellry." "The yemenites were also jewellers." "Why do you have a picture of a jew?" " Because I'm jewish, so." "This is the room, and... do you need two pillows?" " Yes." "Great." "Thank you." "Lovely place." "They're Jews." " I know that now." "Look if we can stay here." "We cannot stay here, they are motherfuckers." "They'll kill us." "We need to escape." "Wait, wait." " Ok." "Hello." " How are you?" " Great." "This is a special sandwich for you." " I not so hungry." "He can eat this." "Here, fat." "Take a half." "Not so hungry." " Eat a little bit." "Go ahead, eat something, because you're hungry and you're a guest." "I don't want to see you go hungry." "What is this picture over here?" "It is three in the morning, I am in the nest with jews." "They have cleverly shifted their shapes." "One of them has taken the form of a little old woman." "You can barely see her haunts." "She have try to poison me already." "This rats are very clever." "Look, the Jews have shifted their shapes." "OK, OK." "How much shall I give them?" "I don't know." "More." "Give them more." "Go, go." "Let's go back to New York, at least there's no Jews there." "Calm down." "We'll keep heading to California." "Why California?" "What's so special about California?" "We are going to California!" "And get killed on the way?" "Relax Azamat!" "I will get us protection." "What is the best gun to defend from a jew?" "I would recommend either a 9 mm or a 45." "Very nice!" "I, movie star, Dirty Harold." "Come on and make my name, jew." "But he would not sell me guns, since I'm not american." "So I look for other protection." "What type of dog is this?" " This is a tortoise." "Is this a cat in a hat?" "No, it's a tortoise in a shell." "I need the animal for protection." "What you have for me?" "We're safe Now we continue to California." "Switch it off." "It's so annoying." "Happy times." "We were safe and well on our way to Pamela." "It was time to get back to work." "Kazakhstan needs to learn about American fine dining." "First, a lady will teach you Southern manners." "How long have I got?" "An hour." "Then you have dinner date with high society." "Hello and nice meet you." " Hello, it's so nice to meet you. welcome to America." "Will you please teach me how to dine like gentlemen?" "Of course, I'll be happy to." "Is it polite to greet people when I make entry?" " Yes, it is." "Let me introduce you." "Around." "You gonna have to say names." "Mike Chairman." "Bethany Weston." "How do you do?" " Good, my name is Ben." "Should I pay interest in peoples around the table sights?" " Yes." "And if is a big table, a very long table, you might want to restrict your conversation to people right in your vicinity." " Very nice." "So you are not yelling." "What do you do?" " I'm the pastor of church." "What do you do?" " I have spent years in construction," "I've recently retired." "You are retard?" " Yes." "Physical or mental?" "Retired." " Not retarded." "I don't work anymore." " Stopped working." "Is very good yoy allow retarded with.." "That's not what he was saying." "He is not what you refer to as retard." "Do you have a telephone in this village?" "Should I show photos of my family?" " You have photos of your family." "Wonderful." "This my favourite son,..." "He looks happy." " Yes." "He very strong." " My goodness, is that him lifting you?" "He grow 6 centimetreand now is 17 centimetre long." "I'm not sure one would show this photo to..." "Should I pay compliments to the peoples?" " Yes." "But only if you truly agree with that compliment." "You have a very gentle face, and a very erotic physique." "That's a very good observation." "She is your wife?" " No, that's my wife." "In my country, they would go crazy." "For this two, not so much..." "What should I say if I need to go to the shit-hole?" "You mean to the restroom?" "To the place to make the shit." " Bathroom?" "Not the bath to make dirty hands..." "The brown..." " The toilet." "Where you make, you understand..." "bad, bad thing from." "What you do.." " Brown." "You say, excuse me, I need to go to the restroom." "Excuse me, is it possible to go and do... how you say in there, you know..." "Excuse me a moment." "I think that the cultural differences are... vast." " Exactly." "And I think he is a delightful man..." "and it wouldn't take a very large time for him to really become americanized." "Thank you very much, I feel much better." "Cindy, where should I put this?" "Excuse me for just a moment." "Like this." "And you wipe your bottom." "And you put the paper." "I?" " You." "No, I wouldn't." "This is a very private thing." "The host cleans the anus of the other?" " No, no, no." "Nobody touches you except you." "Can I bring a guest to dinner?" "If you have been invited to a home or to a party..." " Yes." "it is acceptable to bring a guest if you ask your host in advance." "Hi, I'm looking for Borat." " Yes, is me." "This my friend, Luennel." "I don't know exactly what all that we're doing." "It is getting very, very late." "You have to excuse me." "I have to go home." "It's getting very very late and it's time... that we are ending our dinner party and everything." "But can she come for desserts?" "Absolutly not and neither can you!" "The sheriff is on his way." " I hope so." "Why you call police?" "Has the retard escaped?" "I want say I'm very sorry way treat you in this house." " Thank you." "I was thinking maybe I just take the night off and..." "Why don't we just go out and have some fun." "What do you think about that?" "You want to come with us?" "Up yours!" "Hi, my name Borat." "This my friend, Luenell." "She is a prostitute." "You were funny on this wolf." "Everybody almost see your underpants." "I never rode a bull before." "You wanna come in for a little while?" "I would like very much... but I in love with a woman in Malibu." "It would be nice to her for me to..." "If you ever in town again, look me up." "If I ever in town again, Luenell," "I would very much like to pay you for sex." "Good night, Luenells." " Good night, Borat." "You say my name right." "...she recently explained I very spontaneous..." "I'm very spontaneous too." "I needed a gift to give to Pamela so that she would grant me entry into her vagin." "Therefore, I convince Azamat to let me film a report in a american store." "Don't spend more than 3 dollars." "We're low on money." "This your shops?" " Right, this is my antique shop." "Why do you have so many things with a flag?" " We're honouring our heritage." "And in here." "What is this?" "These are a number of collectibles, I mean, this is..." "A lamp." "You know, to use in your home." "This is a chinese closet..." "And this is just a little decorative derrick." "And... do you think.." "you know... when they..." "You need help?" " No, it's ok." "I sorry." "Don't worry, my friend..." "he can make glue..." "I don't think you gonna be able to glue that stuff back, I think you gonna have to pay for it." "Ok, I have digital watch from the future." "I will give you this." "We are small than all of this." "You broke 425 $ worth of stuff." "160,...170 180." " That's not enough." "Do you want a hair?" " No, I don't want any damn hair." "This is the best hair in Kazakstan." "Feel the quality." " I don't want your damn hair." "This hair from pubis." "I can get you 2000 bags by next friday." "We don't use that stuff in this country." "Have you offered them pubic hair?" " Yes!" "Just gimme another 20, that's good enough." "It was a mistake." " You screwed up again!" "I didn't see the truck." "I slipped on it and that was it." " Only an idiot could do this." "Would you have believe this if I have told you?" "All right, go, go!" "You have ruined this documentary and almost bankrupt us!" " So call the Ministry and get more money." "What?" "!" "If I did that they would kill us!" "California better be as good as you say, or we're finished." "You bastard!" "What's the matter with you?" "!" "How dare you make hand-party over Pamela!" "Why do you care who I pleasure myself to?" "Because I love this woman!" "She's the reason we travel to California!" "What?" "You lied to me!" "You lied about California!" "Lhal jsi o Kalifornii!" "Eat my asshole!" " Mortgage Brokers Annual Banquet " "So.. bad news." "Azamat leave." "And he also decide to take all money and also my passport." "And, he leave me all this bag." "It's a hen." "And ticket to Kazakstan, but no passport." "But at least he's... man enough to leave me... my beautiful." "Which I have cleaned since last night." "And I decide to continue making documentary." "Making without Azamat I think it will be better." "I will have a.... without." "I only want 17 cents, please." "I have no car, no money and no Azamat." "The only thing keep me going was my dream of one day holding Pamela in my arms and then making romance explosion on her stomach." "Aventually, I managed to hike a hichings with group of young scholars also travelling across country." "Chi Psi Fraternity Brothers University of Southern California." "I am from Kazakstan" " Have a seat." "What your name?" " Anthony." "Anthony." " Yes." "Anthony and..." "Justin and David." " Very nice." "Can you open this, please?" " I try." "So you like the bitches out there, in the fucking old Russia?" "What be a bitch?" "It's a fucking halloos, baby, the fucking girls." "You fuck the shit out of me." "And then you never call them again." "Why you don't call them, because they do not have a telephone, yes?" "They do not have my respect." " So what do you do here in America?" "They film me travel across US and A." " I don't know what you're saying, man." "Let's get drunk!" "Let me tell you game we play." "we play game called When the snake eat the pig." "When the snake eat the huh?" " When the snake eat the pig." "You get a baby mouse, very small and you... put a bit of cheese in hole of your hram until it go inside." "That is too crazy for me." " I'll do it." "I'll go." "Fuck, I'll do it." " Let me ask you this." "Are women your slaves in Russia?" " No." "Do you have slaves here?" "Our country, the minorites actually have more power." "Anyone that is minority has the uppper hand." "We have the jews, anybody that's against mainstream." "Do you want to see my new wife?" " Yes." "This my new wife." "You know her?" " Pamela, I know of Pamela." "I will take her virgin for the first time." " I am going to put this shit on." "Borat, we have alot to talk about." "I will take her virgin." "I will uncock her." "She is no virgin." " She is not." "Liar!" "Liar, liar, panties on fire!" " Shut up!" "What she doing?" " She sucking some dick, man." "This is not her." " I guarantee you that she's gonna have it." "That's her, Borat." " Borat, I'm sorry." "She is not her." "This is her?" "I'm sure it's her." "Let it go." "Come here." "You're my man." "You're my man." "Come on, Borat." "Stay with us, buddy." "We'll remember you always." "You in America now." "You'll make it." "You keep going." "You're bigger than a woman." "You're better than a woman." "We'll always be behind you." " Do not let a woman ever... ever make you who you are." " Goodbye, my friend." "How will I get home?" "I sorry, my friend." "Go." "Run to freedom." "Go!" "Go!" "I leave you alive." "It is good to be here." "This is my tenth penticostal camp meeting, a decade." "The bottom line is we're a christian nation now, we were a christian nation in the beginning, and we gonna always be a christian nation until good Lord returns." "Amin." "I didn't evolve out of a monkey." "I didn't use to be a..., I is what I is." "I don't care what the devil is done to you or what he's trying to do, all you have to do is step out of that... now, and make your way down to this altar, let's have a little old time church right now." "I need somebody to play for me right now." "Come on, sir." "The blood over my neighbour." "I believe the blood over my church." "I want you to help to save me, please." "Ladies and gentlemen, the gentleman standing right here next to me, his name is Bolak, would you greet him with a great big Jesus name for just a couple of minutes." "Thank you." "I have no friends, I am alone in this country." "Nobody like me." "My only friend Azamat he take my money and my bear and he leave me alone." "Not only this, the woman I love, the reason I travel across the country, she have do something terrible on a boat." "And now I can never forgive her." "Is there anybody who can help me?" " Yes." "One that who can help you is who we praise about tonight." "Jesus." "Do Jesus like me?" " Absolutely Jesus loves you." "Do Jesus like my sons?" " Jesus loves your sons." "Do Jesus love my retard brother, Bilok?" " He loves your brother Bilok." "Do Jesus love my neighbour, Nusultan Tuliakbai?" " Yes, he loves everybody." "Nobody love my neighbour Nusultan Taliakbai." "Can Jesus heal the pain that is in my heart?" "Jesus can heal the pain in your heart." "Make him heal the pain that is in my heart." " Lift your hands." "And begin to worship." "As we pray in the name of Jesus." "I think I near I see him." "Cleanse me, God, cleanse me." ".. the Lord in the name of Jesus." "...let that tongue go." "Here comes!" "Let that tongue go!" "I will forgive Pamela." "And I will go to California." "I will go to Malibu with me and my friend, mister Jesus." "And together, we will take her." "I took a bus to Los Angeles with some friends of mister Jesus." "Finally, I have arrive." "Happy times." "Azamat?" "You traitor!" "Look, I can explain!" "You attack me." "My mustache still tastes of your ass!" "Calm down." "Let me explain." "What did you do with the bear?" "She ran off!" "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "Hey!" "Fuck off, Death!" "You need to calm yourself." "You have to calm down." "Ok, ok." "Take it easy." "Well thats another fine mess you've gotten me into." "I have not come to Hollywood to fight a man dressed as Hitler." "I have come to make Pamela Anderson my wife." "So I forgave Azamat." "I knew that you'd make it, Borat." "I felt so bad that I prepared this." "It's everything I could find about Pamela." "Last friday she appeared for a group who are against cruelty toward animals." "Against cruelty toward animals?" "And tomorrow she's doing autographs." "She wrote a book." "What?" "A woman has written a book?" "Dr. Yamak would never believe this." "I know." "We will go to this historical event and I will marry Pamela there." "...but in the traditional Kazakh way." "Azmat, let's prepare the wedding sack." "You forgive me then?" "Yes" "Having learnt many lesson from US and A, I will now teach America how to have a wedding kazaky style." "You find more." "Very excite." "I like you." "Is me, Borat." "Thanks for coming, you guys." "Shoud I make it to someone?" "My name Borat Sagdiyev, I son of..." "Sagdiyev, and" "Boltok the rapist, my former husband of Oksana Sagdiyev who was daughter of ...Tarekbai and Boltok the rapist." "I make this for you, and this..." "There our name, my name, your name, Pamela Anderson," "Borat Sagdiyev is todays day..." "These say... these... todays day..." "our wedding." "Pamela, will you marry me?" "No thanks, sorry." "Get your own wife!" "Pamela..." "Don't worry..." "I never stood... my wife." "Pamela, I will give you your own plow." "Put your hands around your back." " OK." "Pamela, I am not attracted to you any more!" "NOT!" "I was humiliated." "It was time for me to return to New York, where a ticket was waiting for me to fly back home." "While I sat on the bus, I thought of my journey over the past three weeks." "The great times." "The good times." "And the shit times." "Mainly there were shit times." "I have come to America to learn lessons for Kazakstan." "But what had I learn?" "Suddenly, I realized." "I have learned that if you chase a dream, especially one with plastic chests, you can miss the real beauty in front of your eyes." "8 Months Later." "Welcome back in my town of Kusek." "Since I return, there has been much improvements." "We no longer here running of the jew, it's cruel." "We christians now." "Toktan improve too." "Hey, Toktan." "Hi 5!" "Come my house." "There Nusultan Tudialkbai." "He's still asshole." "I get iPod, he only get iPod Mini." "Everybody know is for girls." "And this my beautiful wife." "Thank you for watch my film." "I hope you like."