"[rousing orchestral music]" "♪ ♪" " [grunting]" " Lincoln, why don't you go outside?" "It's not healthy to sit around playing video games all day." " Actually, Mom, some studies show" " Out." " Right." "[birds chirping]" " [grunts]" " That's not what I meant." "You need to get some exercise, and I have just the thing." " [panting] Good workout, huh, son?" " Feeling the burn, Dad." " Last one to the food court buys the soft pretzels!" " [gasps] [video games chime and buzz]" " A-hem." " Oh." "Hey, Dad." "Guess I'm paying for the pretzels." " [panting] See?" "Exercise can be fun!" "Whee!" " I read you loud and clear, Mom." " Lincoln!" "I see I'm going to have to take other measures." " What kind of measures?" "[whistle blowing]" "Football?" "Come on, Mom." "You know sports aren't my thing." "[rousing orchestral music]" "♪ ♪" "Ow!" " Ugh, I know, honey, but you left me no choice." "One way or another, you have to get some exercise." " Mom, wait!" "Look, I'm exercising right now." "Ow, ow, Charley horse." " [sighs]" " Clearly I cannot play football." "Fortunately, in a big family there's always someone who can help you out of a jam." " An injury to get out of sports?" "That can be arranged." " Just not the face." " We'll see." " Go easy, okay?" " We'll see." "[engine whirs] [tires squeal] [crash] [horn blares, groaning]" "You want an injury?" "I'll give you one!" " Ow, ow, Charley horse." "[grunting]" " Oh, we're wrestling?" "Cool." "[blows whistle]" "Lola, that's unnecessary roughness." " Well, he deserves it." "I was trying to help him get out of playing football, and he made me total my car!" "And I just put in the cupcake air freshener!" " Wait." "Get out of playing football?" "Why would you wanna do that?" "Football rules." " Maybe for you." "I don't even know how to play." "Plus, I'm gonna get my butt kicked." " You got that right." " That's enough." "Hit the showers." "[groaning]" " You forget that you've got a secret weapon:" "Me." "I'll teach you everything you need to know about football." " Um..." " Good." "Now drop and give me 20." " I've only got a five." "[exciting music]" "♪ ♪ [retching]" "♪ ♪" "Oh." "♪ ♪" " [panting] [horn honking]" "♪ ♪" "["Peanuts"-style music]" " [yelling]" "♪ ♪" " Hike!" "[kids laughing]" " If you clowns are done, we need the field." "We gotta practice for junior football league." " You guys are playing junior football too?" "What team are you on?" " The Hazeltuckey Hockers!" " What team are you on?" " The Royal Woods Roosters." "both:" "Cock-a-doodle-do!" " Nice cheer." "When we play you, you're cock-a-doodle-doomed!" " Yeah." "I'm gonna pluck me a few feathers." "[laughing]" " You chumps are lucky I'm not playing, 'cause I'd whoop all your butts!" " Sure you would, ponytail." "[both laughing]" " Lynn." "That's a brilliant idea." "You could pretend to be me, and play in my place." " Yeah, right." " Why not?" "There's no girls' league around here, right?" "This would give you a chance to play, and me a chance to live out my full life." " Hmm, I could use another sport right now." "I've only got four." " So what do you say?" "Cock-a-doodle-do?" "[rousing orchestral music]" "♪ ♪" "I can't believe we pulled this off." "Only one more game to go." " [sighing] I'm gonna miss this." " I'm not gonna miss that." " So you thought you could get away with this, huh?" " But I, uh" " Not telling your family you're a big football star!" ""Crowds Love Loud."" "Haven't seen that headline since my break-dancing days." "We're so proud of you, son!" "We're all gonna be at your game tomorrow." " All of you?" " You betcha!" "And if you need some new moves for your touchdown dance... [scatting]" "♪ I'm on fire, on fire, on fire ♪ [scatting]" " [whistling]" " Lynn, you were just supposed to play, not become a big star." " Sorry, Linc." "I only know how to give 110%." " Well, now we got a problem, becauseI'mso good, the whole family wants to watchmeplay tomorrow." " Don't worry, we fooled everyone all season." "There's no reason we can't do it for one more game." "[rousing orchestral music]" "♪ ♪" " I literally don't see Lincoln anywhere." "[screams]" " Hey, guys." " [gasps] There's my little football star!" " Lincoln!" "Sign my hat!" " [nervous chuckle] Saving it for the game." " Number one, Lincoln Loud!" "That'sme !" " I think we're gonna pull this off." "Ugh." " [babbles]" " Shh!" " [laughs]" " All right, let's beat these chumps." " Ladies and gentlemen, as a special treat," "Luna Loud will be performing the National Anthem." "Please remove all hats and helmets." "["The Star-Spangled Banner" begins]" " Uh, I gotta pee." "♪ ♪" " Let's play ball, dudes!" " Loud, where are you going?" " Bathroom." " Again?" " Hey, aren't you that twerp from the park?" "We're gonna knock you on your tail feathers." " [growls] [whistle blows] [rousing orchestral music]" " Touchdown, Roosters!" "[crowd cheering]" " [scatting] [whistle blowing]" " Tackle made by Loud." "[crowd cheering]" "Ball carried by Loud." "[crowd cheering]" "Touchdown, Lincoln Loud!" "[crowd cheering]" " Ha." "Ow!" " Half time!" " Hey, Loud, over here." "They wanna interview you for TV." "Take off your helmet." " I-I gotta..." " Let me guess." "Go to the bathroom." "You guys want an action shot of me and my whistle?" "[blowing whistle]" " That last play was sensational." "What can you tell us about it?" " That last play?" "Uh, the thing is..." "that was in the past, and I'm all about the future." "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to pee." " Guys, how about this one?" "[whistle blowing]" " Set, hut, hut, hike!" "[all yelling] all:" "Oh!" "[whistle blowing] [both laugh]" " Back off!" "Give him some air!" "Mom and Dad:" "Lynn?" " Who's Lynn?" "I thought you were Lincoln." " No." "I'm Lincoln." "Lynn, are you okay?" " I'm fine." "I think I just sprained my ankle." " Would somebody mind telling me what the heck is going on?" " Yes, I'd like to know too." " This is all my fault, Mom." "I didn't wanna play football, so I convinced Lynn to play for me." " Bogus, guys!" "I mean, unacceptable!" " Take care of that ankle." "I want you on my team next year." " Coach, get your team on the field or you forfeit." " I got a problem, ref." "I'm one man short." " No, you're not." "Mom, I'm sorry I lied, and now I'm gonna do what you asked me to:" "Get some exercise." " We're up by one, with a minute to go." "Just don't blow it." " Cock-a-doodle-do, Coach!" "[whistle blowing]" " You can do this, you can do this." " Back for more, Loud?" "Bad choice." " You can't do this." " Set, hut, hut, hike!" " I caught it!" "[both grunting] [rousing orchestral music]" "♪ ♪" "Yes!" "[laughs]" "I don't know what I was so afraid of." "Sports can be pretty awesome." "And it turns out, I'm a natural." "[whistle blows]" " Yeah!" " Loud, you ran the wrong way and scored a safety for the other team." "We lost!" "[all cheering]" " Uh-oh." "[all screaming] [bell ringing]" "A correction to my previous statement:" "I am not a natural, but, on the plus side, at least I'm getting some exercise." "Ah!" "Charley horse."