"Janice has a question." "Who of the six of you has slept with who of the six of you?" "Wow, it's like a dirty math problem." "I'm sorry, the answer there would be none of us." "Yeah." "You know what?" "If that doesn't change soon I'm going to dump you for somebody who puts out." "Come on." "Over the years, none of you ever got, you know, drunk and stupid?" "Well, that's really a different question." "I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies." "Well, there was that one time that Monica and Rachel got together." " What?" " What?" "Excuse me, there was no time." "Okay, but let's say there was." "How might that go?" "Okay." "Okay." "Well, then answer me this:" "Have any of you ever almost...?" " Anybody need more coffee?" " Hey, there's a dog out there!" "The One With the Flashback" " That is so unfortunate." " What?" "Cute Naked Guy's really starting to put on weight." "I'll be back in just a minute." "Oh, Phoebe, I'm sorry that I left lipstick marks on the phone." "You didn't leave lipstick marks on the phone." "Then it must have been you." "Bye." "Bye-bye." " That's why I moved out." " Hey, while we're on that when are you gonna tell my sister you don't live here anymore?" "I think on some level, she already knows." "She doesn't know that you sneak out every night." "She doesn't know that you sneak back and she doesn't know you've been at your grandmother's for a week." "Okay, well, maybe not on those levels." "You have got to tell her." "The longer you wait, the harder it is going to be on her." "You're right." "You're right." "Anyway, listen, tonight's bag is really bulky." "So could you sneak stuff out for me?" "It's just like a clock radio and some cemetery dirt." " Hey." " Hey." "I'm never gonna find a roommate." "Ever." "Nobody good?" "Well, let's see." "There was the guy with the ferrets." "That's plural." "The spitter." "And the guy who enjoyed my name so much he felt the need to make a noise every time he said it." ""Nice to meet you, Chandler Bing." "Bing!"" ""Great apartment, Chandler Bing." "Bing!"" " How many more do you have tomorrow?" " Two." "This photographer who seemed really dull and this actor guy who I'm not sure about because when I answered the phone "Chandler Bing" he said, "Whoa!" "Short message!"" "Foot on the floor or come over no more." "Sure, your dresser is missing, but this she notices." " What?" " I have to go." "Carol should be home by now, so..." " How's it going with you guys?" " Better, actually." "I think I finally figured out why we were having so much trouble lately." " Oh, really?" " Yeah." "You know how I have you guys?" "She doesn't have any close friends that are just hers." "But last week, she met this woman at the gym, Susan something." "And they really hit it off, and I think it's gonna make a difference." "So, Eric what kind of photography do you do?" "Oh, mostly fashion." "So there may be models here sometimes." "I hope that's cool." "Yes, that is cool." "Because I have models here, you know never." "What else?" "During the summer I spend most weekends at my sister's beach house which you are welcome to use." "Although I should probably tell you, she's a porn star." "Well, listen, I still have one more person to meet but unless it turns out to be your sister I think your chances are pretty good." "All right." "Bedroom, bathroom, living room." "This right here is the kitchen, and thanks for coming by." "Bye-bye." "Don't you wanna ask me any questions?" "Sure." "What's up?" "Well, I'm an actor." "I'm fairly neat." "I got my own TV." "Oh, and don't worry, I'm totally okay with the gay thing." "What gay thing?" "Just, you know, in general." "The whole people being gay thing." "Totally cool with that." "Okay, Jerry." "Thanks for stopping by." " Hi." " Hey." "Oh, my God!" "Hey, Mon." " Wanna hear something that sucks?" " Do I ever!" " Chris says they're closing down the bar." " No way!" "Apparently, they're turning it into a coffee place." "Just coffee?" " Where are we gonna hang out now?" " You got me." " Can I get a beer, please?" " Hey, did you pick a roommate?" " You betcha." " Is it the Italian guy?" "Yeah, right." "He's so cute." "That's what I want." "A roommate I can walk around with and be referred to as the funny one." "Pool table's free." "Rack them up." "Back in a minute." "Get ready for me to whip your butt." "Okay, but after that, we're shooting some pool." "No, no, no, no." "Excuse me?" "Hello?" "Hi." "My friend ordered an onion not an olive." "And I ordered a rum and Diet Coke which I don't think this is." " I am so sorry." " That's all right." "I mean, how hard is it to get a couple drinks right, huh?" "I would like to propose a toast to the woman who, in one year from today, will become Mrs. Dr. Barry Barber, D.D.S." "I think it's time to see the ring again." "Isn't it exciting?" "I mean, it's like having a boyfriend for life." "Yeah." "I know." "What?" "Oh, I don't know." "Well, maybe it's just the idea of Barry for the rest of my life." "I don't know, I think I..." "I feel like I need to have one last fling you know, just to sort of get it out of my system." " Rachel, stop!" " You're so bad!" "I'm serious." "I really think I need to just have some meaningless sex, you know?" "With the next guy I see." "Excuse me, I seem to have dropped my ball." "Yeah, so?" "And now I've picked it up again." "My God!" "I went to high school with her." "Rachel!" "Hi!" "Monica!" "Is she giving me the finger?" "Monica!" "Look!" "Hi!" "What do you think?" "Oh, my God!" "You can't even see where the Titanic hit it." "Yes, his name is Barry." "He's a doctor, thank you very much." "Just like you always wanted." "Congratulations." "Thank you." "So how about you?" "Are you seeing anybody?" "Not right now." "Oh, well, that's okay." "I know." "So I think I'll get back to my friend." "Oh, yeah." "Sure, sure, sure." "Listen, can we please have lunch the next time I'm in the city?" "That'd be great." " Okay." " Thanks." " Bye." " Bye." "Ten bucks says I never see that woman again in my life." "No, honey, really." "It's fine." "Just..." "Go with Susan." "Really, I think..." "I think girls' night out is a great idea." "Okay." "Okay." "Bye." " So, what are they doing?" " I don't know." "Something girly." "Hey, you're early." "What are you doing with the lamp?" "I'm just taking it to get rewired." "Don't take it to the place you took the stereo." "They've had that for over a week." "No!" "Mr. Heckles, no one is making any noise up here." "You're disturbing my oboe practice." " You don't play the oboe." " I could play the oboe." "Then I'm gonna have to ask you to keep it down." "Who are you?" "I'm Eric, I'm gonna be Chandler's new roommate." "I'm Chandler's new roommate." " I don't think so." " I could be Chandler's new roommate." " But he told me over the phone..." " He told me in person." "That's weird." "Well, I'm going to go into my new apartment now." "Hi, again." "Hey." "Hey." "Thank you so much." "No, no, no." "Don't thank me." "Thank the jerk that didn't show up." "Okay, I gotta get to work." "And not just for the money." "But because every now and then someone walks out of the bathroom with a little bit of toilet paper on their shoe." " You need some help with that?" " No, thanks." "I got it." "No." "No, I don't!" "Okay?" "Stood up too fast." "Got a little head rush." "It's the heat." "And the humidity." "That's a..." "That's a tough combination." "Do you want to come in for some lemonade?" "Like you wouldn't believe." "This is a great place." "Thank you." "Just make yourself comfortable." "Gotcha." "So this place is really my grandmother's." "I got it from her when she moved to Florida." "Otherwise I could never afford a place like this." "So if the landlord ever asks I'm an 87-year-old woman who's afraid of her VCR." "You thirsty?" "You bet I am!" "Okay here's your penis!" "Oh, my God!" "What the hell are you doing?" "You said, "You wanna come in for some lemonade?"" "So?" "Were you just gonna give me lemonade?" "Cover yourself up!" "Oh, right." "Sorry." "God, I don't believe this!" "Someone asks you in for lemonade and to you that means they want to have sex?" "Usually, yeah." "Well, not just lemonade." "Iced tea, sometimes juice." "Look, sorry." "I just..." "I thought you liked me." "I'm such a jerk." "It's okay." "I suppose it could happen to anyone." "Not anyone I know, but..." "By the way, I can still see it." " Pheebs?" " Huh?" "Where's your bed?" "It's not in the apartment?" "Oh, no." "I can't believe this is happening again." " What?" " Okay, enough with the third degree!" "I don't live here anymore." " What are you talking about?" " I'm sorry." "I don't live here anymore." "I didn't know how to tell you." "But, you know, everybody else knows." "Everybody knows?" "That was supposed to be a good thing." "I forget why." "I don't understand." "I thought we were doing better lately." "Yeah, 'cause I moved out." "Monica, I..." "Do you know, okay, I couldn't sleep for, like, a month because I got a dot of ink on one of the sofa cushions?" "Well, you could've just turned the cushion over." "I would have, except I had a spaghetti stain on the other side." "What?" "Okay." "This is what I'm talking about." "I need to live in a land where people can spill!" "Well, you can spill." "In the sink." "Oh, honey." "It's not your fault, you know." "This is who you are." "And I love you." "And I want us to be friends." "And if I keep living here, I don't see that happening." " I love you too." " Oh, good." "What?" "What?" "I'm just sad." "No, you're not." "You're wondering which cushion it is." "Well, why can't I think of both?" "I mean, I can think two things." "Go ahead." "Look." "You know you want to." "Go." "Oh, my God!" " So, what are you watching?" " Baywatch." "What's it about?" "Lifeguards." "Well, it sounds kind of stup..." "Who's she?" "Nicole Eggert." "We like her." "Wow!" "Look at them run!" "They do that a lot." "Hey, you want a beer?" " Yeah, I'll go get one." " Don't get up." "I got a cooler right here." " Hello!" " Hey." "Do you have any beers?" "We're out of beers." "Help yourself." "You okay?" "Phoebe moved out." "Right." "I don't understand." "Am I so hard to live with?" "Is this why I don't have a boyfriend?" "No!" "You don't have a boyfriend because..." "I don't know why you don't have a boyfriend." "You should have a boyfriend." "Well, I think so." "Come here." "Come here." "Listen, you are one of my favorite people and the most beautiful woman I've ever known in real life." "Hi." "Where is everybody?" "Oh, it's already closed." "Chris gave me the keys to lock up." "What is wrong?" "I think my marriage is kind of over." "Oh, no!" "Why?" "Because Carol's a lesbian." "And..." "And I'm not one." "And apparently it's not a mix-and-match situation." "Oh, my God!" "I don't believe it!" "Oh, you poor bunny." "I'm an idiot." "I mean, I should have seen it." "I mean, Carol and I would be out, and she'd see some beautiful woman and she'd be, "Ross!" "Look at her!"" "And I'd think, "God, my wife is cool."" "Hey, do you think that Susan person is her lover?" "Well, now I do!" "I'm sorry." "Seven years!" "I mean, we've been together seven years." "She's the only woman who's ever loved me." "She's the only woman I've ever..." "Oh, Ross." "This is nice." "I know." "It is, isn't it?" "No, I mean it." "This feels really good." "Is it a hundred percent cotton?" "Yeah." "And I got it on sale too." "I mean, it looks nubby, but..." "But it's not." "Anyway, I should go." "One of the lifeguards was just about to dismantle a nuclear device." "If you want to get a drink later, we can." "That sounds great." " Oh, and listen, it's gonna be..." " I know." "Thanks." "Maybe this wouldn't have happened if I'd been more nurturing or I'd paid more attention or I had a uterus." " I can't believe it." " I know." "You know, you don't deserve this." "You don't, Ross." "You're really..." " You're so good." " Thanks." "And you're so sweet." " Thanks." " And you're kind." "Thanks." "Come here." "Wait, wait, wait." "Okay." "It's okay." "Wait, wait, wait!" "My foot is stuck in the pocket." "What?" " What?" " I can't get it out." "That's not something a girl wants to hear." "Come on, don't start." " What?" " Stupid balls are in the way." "Oh, well." "That probably wouldn't have been the most constructive solution." "You have chalk on your face." "Oh, Ross, you're right." "I don't know why I always thought this was real grass." "Honey, you okay?" "My wife's a lesbian." "Cool!" "Ross, Joey." "Joey, Ross." " Hey." " How's it going?" "I can't believe you came back." "Don't say anything." "I don't wanna speak." "I don't wanna think." "I just want you to take me and kiss me and make love to me right here right now." "Rachel." "Rachel!" " What?" " You missed the exit." " Oh." "Sorry." " My God, what were you thinking about?" "Barry."