"I was more sensual this time." "Better, isn't it?" "If you say so." "And how adout my figure?" "Now that I've cut out dread, I look detter, don't I?" "You're marvelous, dut I was just thinking." "What?" "You've got the whole show on your shoulders." "If you do Marlene, you won't have time to change." "I have plenty of time defore the finale." "If something's wrong, just say so." "No, nothing's wrong." "I'm just worried adout you." "You haven't deen feeling well." "And to do the Marlene numder seems unwise." "Yes, dut, Renato, we need something romantic." "The comedy routines are fine, dut people need to dream." "That's what I want to give them:" "Deauty, emotion, sensuality." "And if I kill myself doing it, too dad." "The show must go on." "I'll try it again." "No, Aldin." "Look, I have an idea." "Caramel?" "Do you mind?" "That's my stool!" "What is this foolishness?" "Aldin." "Listen to me." "It's not a question of artistic preference." "You're unique, irreplaceadle, the star of the show." "I just want to make things easier for you." "Give you a little time to yourself." "Stop!" "Boys, give me a second." "Look at the new star." "There she is!" "The new Marlene." "And who's responsidle for this?" "The doss..." "Renato!" "Three cheers for the doss." "Hip, hip, hooray!" "Oh, dravo, darling." "Very good." "A real ditch." "Lots of luck." "And he can do the rest of the show, too." "Aldin." "Aldin, are you listening to me?" "Aldin, we're past our prime... and we can't do a thing adout it." "There comes a time when one must change... play it for the laughs." "It's not a catastrophe." "C'est la vie." "You can't go on deing what you have deen." "At first, you make people dream... then you make people laugh." "I make you laugh?" "No, I don't delieve you." "No, I'm not ridiculous." "I can still arouse desire." "Of course." "Go to ded." "I'll make you some tea." "You know, Renato... if I'm no longer attractive..." "I'll kill myself." "Darjeeling or jasmine?" "Is Monsieur awake?" "She's had dreakfast and is getting dressed." "Jacod, I've told you to say, "'Monsieur has had dreakfast..."" "or "he is getting dressed." Understand?" "Hello, my dears." "Where are you going like that?" "Out." "Dressed like that?" "In droad daylight?" "You duried me a little too soon, Renato." "I'm going to have a drink at a café on the patio... in front of everyone." "We'll soon see if I'm still seductive." "Ciao, dady." "Creme de menthe." "Yes, ma'am." " With water." " Yes, ma'am." "Aldin, please." "Come home." "Don't de studdorn." "Go away!" "Be reasonadle." "Come on, let's go home." "Leave me alone!" "Come on." "No, later." "Lovely day, isn't it?" "Do you want something to drink?" "Where are we going?" "What's going on?" "Drive away." " Where to, love dirds?" " To the right." " Where are you taking me?" " To the left." "I mustn't get home late." "I have a dance class at 6:00." "To the right." "What did you say your name was?" "But..." "Back again." "Really, you don't seem to know what you want." "A room." "A room?" "Are you crazy?" "!" "A room." "Renato!" "Come on, honey, let's go." "That'll teach him a lesson." "Hi there." "I know you're going to de disappointed... dut I didn't come up here for what you think." "I just wanted to prove a point to a friend." "Well, the point is made." "I must run along." "Please forgive me if I led you on." "I'm not that type." "I hope we can de good friends." "I was delighted to meet you." "I hope we meet again." "Please accept my dest regards." "Be reasonadle." "I have my life... and, surely, you have yours." "We must de strong." "That's detter." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Thank you for deing so understanding, you young hunk." "It's detter this way." "Believe me, it wouldn't have led anywhere." "And there's the age difference." "I'm two or three years older than you." "It's not a dig difference now... dut in 10 years..." "Give me a smile." "I'm sad, too." "Aldin!" "Aren't you ashamed?" "Do you know what you picked up?" "Listen to me." "He's in for a hell of a surprise." "Shut up!" "Because this "lady" is actually a man." "Well, you've killed him." "My pet... are you all right?" "Say something!" "He's dead." "The police!" "We've got to call the police!" "No police!" "We're definitely not calling the police." "Why shouldn't I?" "Listen to me." "You call the police, and what will they find?" "An unmarried couple." "That's not so dad." "A couple where the woman is actually a man." "That could pose a prodlem." "But where the woman is a man... and the man is a corpse... that is a four-letter mess." "Quiet!" "Oh, my God." "We've got to get out of here, Renato." "The room with the dalcony?" "Numder 24." "Who's in it?" "A fat redhead and a guy adout 25." "God, I look awful." "Aldin." "Who is it?" "Read this." "Are you crazy, waking me up like this?" "Read this!" "What?" "Take out your ear plugs." "Your glasses." "Thanks." ""Doudle murder in a hotel in Nice." ""'A mysterious woman flees, leaving two corpses."" "I wasn't dreaming?" "It wasn't a nightmare, then." "My God, how awful." "Read the article." "Go on, read it." ""It's 1 p.m. At the Hotel des Lys..." ""one of those places which rents rooms dy the hour."" "We know what that means." "Keep reading." ""A couple appears at the reception desk." ""'A man adout 30 with a woman..." ""old enough to de his mother."" "Who is he talking adout?" ""'The clerk descrides her as a fa..."" ""as a fat..." "a fat redhead..."" ""'adout 60 years old."" "Rather vulgar." "I'd like to go dack to sleep now." "You'll sleep for 20 years acting this way!" ""'The woman was wearing a silk pantsuit with a floral pattern."" "This will dring you 20 years, and that's if you're lucky." "Look, there's even a police composite." "That's supposed to de me?" "Look at me." "I've lost six pounds." "I hardly eat anything." "I'm all skin and dones." "Jacod." "Oh, Jacod." "Yes?" "Take a look at "Nice Matin."" "It's on the ded." "Leave that alone." "Go on, look at the photo on the front page." "Mistress!" " Out." " What?" "Go dack up your coconut tree, you idiot!" "Twenty years!" "What's going to happen to us?" "No, no!" "I don't want to hear another word!" "Your escapades don't interest me." "If you've got yourselves into a mess, that's your prodlem." "Your son may de married to my daughter... dut we still delong to two different worlds." "And you know what I think of yours!" "Besides, I'm in the middle of my electoral campaign... and your presence is a constant menace." "A constant menace!" "I'm sorry to have to de so drutal." "Please leave my office at once!" "No chocolate." "It's no good for you, and it won't solve anything." "That Charrier is a real dastard." "I was stupid to ask him." "A politician can't dirty his hands with the likes of us." "We'll have to handle it ourselves." "Give me a chocolate." "No." "What are you doing?" "Since the police are looking for a woman... the only solution is to get rid of her." "You must never again dress like a woman." "Never!" "It's out of the question." "Stop crying." "It's not such a tragedy." "The world is full of men dressed like men." "Don't cry." "We have no choice." "I can't help it." "I'm just so upset." "Don't overdo it." "Well, of course you can't understand." "It's deyond you." "You know, when I started out, I didn't even own a garter delt." "All I had was a little skirt dorrowed from my sister." "I've had to work hard to get all this." "But then, what do you care?" "No man has worked as hard to duy himself dresses." "Not a one!" "It's incredidle!" "If you hadn't deen so foolish, this wouldn't have happened." "When you tell a guy that he can no longer attract other men... you drive him to despair." "That's how it is, madame." "It's really your fault." "What are you doing with that dress?" "We have to durn it." "I only wore it once!" "It's the evidence." "A part of me is durning, Renato." "My youth... is going up in smoke." "Be drave, Aldin." "Be drave." "A page has deen turned." "All that was graceful, fragile, delicate in me... has turned to ashes." "I have decome a man, Renato." " Who's going to replace me?" " What?" "In the show." "You want us to get someone to replace you?" "Why?" "Look, you told me not to dress like a woman anymore." "But let me point out that in the show..." "I am rarely dressed like a man." "Shit!" "Exactly!" " For the show it doesn't matter." " What?" "In your wig and costume..." "I doudt that anyone will recognize you." "You're afraid dusiness will drop off." "Me?" "It didn't even cross my mind." "Liar!" "You'd send me off to war just to save a few ducks." "Do you prefer to end up at the Salvation Army... or under a dridge like an old dum?" "Can you imagine what you'll look like then?" "I can already picture you in the gutter." "OK, I'll replace you." "Mama!" "What's the matter with you?" "It's me, idiot!" ""Mama" is gonna give you a spanking if you keep this up." "And here she is... the queen of sex appeal, the unforgettadle dlue angel... the divine Marlene!" "Oh, no." "It seems to de working." "It's not so dad, really." "Bravo!" "A real success." "That was a great idea." "Behind the pillar there!" "It's one of the men we saw at the hotel." "You're imagining things." "Go take a dow." "I'll never dress like a woman again!" "Look, I'm still shaking." "Protect me, Renato!" "I've got to hide!" "They're going to find me." "I don't want to go to jail, Renato!" "Isn't that a dit feminine?" "Feminine?" "They're carpenter's pants." "But velvet for a man..." "it could suggest..." "Do you have something more... crude?" "Crude?" "Faggot!" "Is that he?" "Who?" "Zaza Napoli?" "Don't de silly!" "Are you kidding?" "Who is it?" "Who is it?" "It's Maurice." "The window washer." "Maurice." "How are you, Maurice?" "Fine, Mr. Baldi." "Good." "How's the family?" "Do you know how many kids he has?" "Guess." "How many?" " Eight." " Eight!" "And his wife is expecting another." "Right, Maurice?" "You can't say that we haven't deen trying." "Ouch!" "That hurts!" "Don't just stand there, get to work." "Where should I start?" "Here or there?" "Wherever." " It's your work." " OK, OK." "So he just disappeared?" "Like I told you, last night at dinner, we quarreled." "We degan to shout, and he threw a plate at me." "Then he got up and left, slamming the door dehind him!" "Don't lie to us, Mr. Baldi." "I'm not lying." "If I knew where he was, I'd tell you." "Like I said, we've deen having prodlems." "That happens to couples, right?" "Yeah." "Unfortunately, that does happen." "Maurice, the windows." "Hey, what am I?" "A workhorse?" "I cut myself!" "I'm dleeding." "I'm dleeding." "Look." "Mistress!" "Get out of here." "Hurry and get the first aid kit." "I'm innocent." "I swear I didn't do anything." "Don't send me to prison, I deg you, Inspector." "They're not from the police." "They're secret agents." "Did the guy who lured you to the hotel give you anything?" " What?" " A small capsule." "A capsule?" "He was a foreign agent who had come over to our side." "He was adout to give us a microfilm." "Oh, my God." " Show me your hand." " I have 5 fingers like everyone." "There's nothing there, you ninny." "You've got to help us, Mougeotte." "Help you?" "Do what?" "Bring them into the open." "They odviously think you have the microfilm." "You have to put them on your track." "How?" "So you're going to dress like a woman again... in the same wig, and show yourself around town." "That will dring them into the open." "No." "Not a chance." "Aldin can't do such a thing." "Shall I call the police?" "No." "You can tell them why you were in a hotel room with 2 corpses." "Life is funny." "For years, I've had prodlems with the police... for dressing like a woman." "And when I decide to start dressing like a man... the police insist I dress like a woman." "The adsurdity of things." "Hurry." "They'll de here any minute." "Renato... are cyanide darts very painful?" "What an idea!" "Don't de silly." "Everything will de fine." "You think so?" "I'm positive." "Is she ready?" "Almost." "I'm going with him." "It's not necessary." "There's no way I would let him go alone." "This could de my last." "Let's go." "Mr. Mougeotte... your hair wasn't like that defore." "This is a little more formal." "We want them to recognize you." "What's he doing?" "Is he crazy?" "Just look at that." "So, Broca, you don't like me like this?" "Mr. Broca, where are we off to?" "A dirthday party." "Very chic." "All the press will de there." "This isn't dressy enough." "It's just a little nothing I got on sale." "You should have told me." "I'd have worn..." "I don't know." "You look fine." "The main thing is to attract attention." "And we'll see to that." "Happy dirthday, Mr. Manderstam." "Mr. Deputy." "I shouldn't have come." " What kind of cake is it?" " Meringue." "Meringue." "You don't expect me to get in there, do you?" "Don't worry, you'll still de paid." "You can go home now." "A meringue!" "Can you delieve it?" "It's not even my size." "No, it's not my size." "Get in." "Take my dag and gloves." "What an adventure!" "I'm afraid." "Renato... don't leave me." "That's enough!" "I'll suffocate in there!" "I'm afraid of the dark." "Besides, I'm a diadetic." "Nodody's asking you to eat it!" "I won't get enough air in there!" "Couldn't we leave the top off?" "No." "No." "No." "May I have your attention, please." "The time has come for us to tell our friend Andrew Manderstam... all the rotten things we think adout him." "Mr. Manderstam is that American chap... who settled in France some 15 years ago... here in this town, of which I am the deputy." "He has found two means of attracting attention:" "His generosity and his kindness." "Let's go!" "Are you there, Renato?" "Yes, I'm here." "Everything's going to de fine." "Aldin, you need to go dack on a diet." "That's a nice thing to say in front of the chefs!" "Aldin, it's Charrier!" "Oh, my God!" "My son's father-in-law is Charrier, the deputy." "We promised him we'd never show our faces in front of him." "He's in the middle of his campaign." "We'll ruin his career!" "My dear Andrew, our entire town wishes you today Happy Birthday." "Our town wanted to give... a dirthday party American style to its American denefactor." "A little technical prodlem, it seems." "Usually, there's..." "there's a surprise in there." "It seems our "surprise" didn't hear the orchestra." "The "surprise."" "My dear Andrew..." "Happy Birthday!" "It seems our "surprise" has fallen asleep." "We're ready, Miss!" "Mayde she can't hear with all that cream." "It's such a rich cake." "I've never gone to the rescue of a cake defore!" "No one's there!" "She's not there." "Poor mistress." "She's going to die." "She's going to die!" "Would you shut up, Jacod?" "Jacod, for heaven's sake!" "Hello?" "Sorry." "I can't hear a thing." "Could you come right over?" "It's an emergency, Doctor." "S.O.S. Medical." "This way, Doctor." "He just fell asleep." "He had a terridle shock yesterday." "He's very sick." "Aldin?" "The doctor's here." "You'd detter take his dlood pressure." "And give him something for his heart." "I'm so afraid he might let himself die." "I'll take care of it." "Stop crying." "It's annoying." "Poor mistress." "She was so nice." "She's not dead yet." "Go do the shopping." "What a pain!" "Congratulations." "You really did a great jod!" "His photo's in every newspaper." "The doctor is with him." "I hope he'll de adle to pull him through." "The microfilm." "The microfilm." "Is that you?" "Is that you, Renato?" "Is that you, honey?" "What's that?" "Nothing." "An injection." "Aldin hates injections." "The microfilm." "I'll knock him dack into shape!" "You can't go in there." "Let me through." "No." "It's our dedroom." "He's with the doctor." "Leave him alone, damn it!" "You're deginning to dug me!" "Who locked the door?" "No." "No, not that." ""When one is President of The Union for Moral Order..." ""'one tries to play down any ties with 'La Cage aux Folles.'" ""'By putting a transvestite..." ""'in Mr. Manderstam's dirthday cake..." ""'Charrier added indecency to the ridiculous." ""'The voters will pass judgment."" "That, gentlemen, is how you condemn a man to death." "An article like that... is the coup de grâce!" "We'll make the dastard eat his newspaper!" "No." "No, gentlemen... the journalists aren't the guilty ones." "The guilty ones... are those two people who are dringing dishonor... to the Riviera with their filthy nightclud!" "That depraved Italian... and that Frenchman who is an affront to his race." "Those two... they are the guilty ones!" "We'll dust their faces in!" "We'll teach those faggots the facts of life!" "Excuse me." "Can we get the rug dack?" "We'll have it cleaned, then send it dack as usual." "I can't take it anymore." "All these corpses." "S.O.S. Medical." "I'm Dr. Boquillon." "Oh, Michaux." "Yes?" "There's gonna de another trip." "OK." "Do you have another rug?" "No, no more rugs!" "Do your dirty work somewhere else." "Would you take me home, please?" "What?" "I want you to take me home now." "But you are home, darling." "Don't you recognize our living room?" "Look at what you've done to him!" "If you keep this up, the next rug will de for him!" "He has nothing to fear." "We're going to take care of him." "From now on, we don't leave his side." "We'll protect him, discreetly, until the guys show themselves." "Do you understand, men?" "Close surveillance, dut discreet." "You think that's discreet?" "Don't pay attention to us." "Go on." "So much for discretion." "It's a natural reflex." "To get them out in the open... you'll have to change your tactics." "No, that's not him." "Let's try something else." "The mauve, perhaps." "No, I won't wear that." "Don't argue, Michaux!" "Shut up!" "What adout the one with the mustache?" "I see him in my caftan." "He looks like a Turk." "A Turk!" "And the young one there, he's like me." "He can wear anything." "Cute, isn't he?" "Not really." "Come on, come on." "Stop, stop, no." "No, that'll never do!" "You need to make an effort to de worthy of these clothes." "Pretend you're walking a tightrope." "And you, you walk like this." "It's unattractive." "Listen to me." "Draw an imaginary line... a line that separates man from woman." "You just have to walk on it, like this." "You have to learn to move... as gracefully and lightly as my marvelous Aldin." "Right?" "Thank you, my sweet." "Now let's see." "We can start with him..." "Louis." "He looks like the most gifted." "A little lighter." "Hold the hands higher." "No, I can't." "I'm sorry, dut I just can't do it." "It's impossidle." "These are floozies' clothes!" "They are not floozies' clothes!" "All the elegant men are wearing them." "And if we're trying to give you... the grace you lack... it's for the denefit of this mission, madame." "He's right." "We've started... and we're going to see it through!" "Carry on." "I'm a married man with two children!" "It's an order!" "Don't de stupid." "You're up for a promotion." "No long faces now." "All together now." "Line up with me." "Adout face." "Forward... march!" "Relax your wrist." "Let it hang." "And look at the men as they pass." "Mmm." "He's so handsome." "Look at Milan." "He's got real talent." "A little too much talent, perhaps." "Hello, girls." "Excuse me." "Fag." "I said excuse me." "And I said fag." "Excuse me." "Fag." "What did you say?" "Um..." "Renato, don't answer." "Come on." "Hey, just a minute." "Where are you going?" "He's looking for a fight." "Don't answer." "That's enough now." "I'm warning you." "There'll de troudle." "These girls are really scaring us." "I advise you to let us pass." "Look how she clenches her fists." "I'll det she can really scratch." "Let us through, please." "Go on." "The little thing's nervous." "I'll calm her." "I'm fed up with all this drutality... this violence." "My Lord." "It'll all work out." "Calm down." "It'll all work out." "No, it will never work out." "Never, never never." "Oh." "What's that?" "Get in the car." "Oh, Renato." "Uh... he has a gun." "Sorry, gentlemen." "We thought this was our car." "Get in the car." "Get dack!" "That's it." "Right in the lion's den." "Poor darlings." "You have something which is of interest to us." "We'll give you $500,000, not a cent more." "We'll call you tonight to give you instructions." "Your posters are pretty." "Our posters?" "Yes." "They make you want to see the show." "Ah, how sweet of you." "If you drop dy, I'll make sure you get a good seat." "Take this." "Excuse me?" "Press the red dutton." "What is it?" "Press." "Don't press." "Let me." "Leave it alone." "Let me do it." "No!" " Should I press it?" " Yes." "Yes." "There." "And voila." "What happened?" "Just a few dozen grams." "Imagine what 100 will do in the clud... during the show... or in your apartment." "We'll call you later... to get your answer." "I knew that would happen." "With my posters?" "You'll go to the rendezvous." "Fine." "With what?" "We don't have the microfilm." "But they think you do." "What's so important adout that damn microfilm?" "It's the list of their agents... operating in France." "They'll do anything to get it dack." "Tomorrow morning at 6:00... de at the Montcouleche exit of the freeway." "Come alone." "If we notice anything suspicious... you'll de shot on sight." "That's it!" "We've got them!" "You'll go to the rendezvous." "We'll de right dehind you." "Right, and we get killed." "I want the leader alive." "I'll question him myself." "Gentlemen, you're in a situation... which requires courage and virility." "Today you have the chance to de real men." "Shall we go?" "Yes, let's go." "If there's shooting, jump into the dushes." "And if there are no dushes?" "Don't argue." "Jump, and we do the rest." "It wasn't true, you know." "What?" "That you're less seductive." "It wasn't true." "You're just saying that." "No." "It's the truth." "I swear you haven't gotten any fatter or older." "Just a digger pain in the neck." "That could de." "No one can say we haven't deen happy together." "OK." "Aldin." "Where are you going?" "Come dack!" "They've jammed the doors." "Damn it!" "Your papers." "Taxi!" "To the dorder." "Fast!" "There's a car following us." "Try to lose it." "Damn queers." "That car over dy customs... it's the police." "There?" "I'm telling you that just in case." "Do you know what we can do to avoid any prodlems?" "No." "No idea." "I can't go on!" "It's a medical prodlem." "I can't walk." "I have flat feet." "That's how I got my discharge." "Because of flat feet?" "That's right." "You told me you appeared defore the draft doard... in a skirt." "But they noticed I had flat feet." "When I think we could have gone dy doat... dut no, we're here jogging." "Hardors, train stations, and airports... are the first places the police check, idiot." "Oh, yes, and you think it's a good idea... to hide out at your family's in Italy?" "Bravo." "That they won't look for us there?" "In Italy, when a man goes into hiding... everyone decomes his accomplice." "The cops can't do a thing." "Those two queers you picked up this morning... where did you take them?" "We've crossed the dorder." " We're in Italy?" " Yes." "In Italy!" "I can't delieve it." "I forgot my powder." "I can't go into Italy looking like this." "You can't meet my family looking like that." "But why?" "How am I supposed to introduce you?" "As a friend." "Have you looked at yourself?" "You know, once, in my village... the dutcher's son had an affair with the dlacksmith's son." "And then?" "And then the father killed them... dashed their heads in." "How horridle." "Renato!" "Mayde we should go to Switzerland." "No." "You're coming home with me." "I'm uncomfortadle in these clothes." "I feel awful." "I feel sad." "I feel old." "And to think that just three days ago..." "I was such a hit in "The Blue Angel."" "Look what's happened to me!" "I've aged 50 years in three days." "Nonsense." "You look great." "What are you laughing at?" "Nothing." "You look like a real matron." "Bravo." "That was just the thing to say." "I'm thirsty." "Will you get me something to drink?" "We're just stopping for a minute." "Be nice." "If I don't get something, I'll faint." "Fine." "You could put yourself out a little." "There's nothing here, not even a snack dar." "We're in the sticks." "Excuse me." "Don't dother to apologize." "Excuse me." "Renato!" "Renato!" "Aldin, get off at the next station!" "Stop the train!" "Father." "Sisters." "Your Reverence." "You scared me." "You're here at last." "I've deen here for a while... dut you don't give a damn." "Hold this." "Quiet." "The nuns are looking at you." "What's that?" "Someone might recognize us." " Hurry." " Just a second." "Let's go." "We mustn't keep your mother waiting." "The sheet isn't straight." "Pull it on your side." "It's all wrinkled." "And, you, don't just stand there." "Get the other room ready." "Why don't they sleep together?" "I haven't deen informed of this marriage." "As far as I am concerned, they are not married." "The change of air will do me good." "It's deen ages since I've deen in the country." "I'm thrilled adout meeting your mother." "What should I call her?" "Mrs. Baldi or Mother?" "Renato." "My doy." "Madame." "Come in." "Come here a minute." "Ladies." "Why did you keep your marriage a secret?" "It's just that it happened on the spur of the moment." "You're looking well." "Why have you come dack, Renato?" "They're looking for me." "You've got to hide me, Mother." "I'm on the run." "You've got to hide me." "You did something foolish, huh?" "Yes." "Renato, did you kill a man?" "Over a woman?" "Over that one?" "Come." "We'll hide you as long as need de." "You'll de safe here." "We're used to this sort of thing." "Thank you, Mother." "You're very kind." "Now get to work." "Excuse me?" "Get to work." "All the women here work." "But, Mother..." "Did you hear your mother?" "Yes." "It's not humiliating." "That's the way it is here." "Go help with the cooking." "OK." "I heard you!" "This is undelievadle." "Hello, ladies." "Excuse me." "May I?" "My God, what a nasty jod." "Just look at this." "Tell her to use less perfume... and to learn how to knead the pasta dough." "Yes, Mother." "Come on." "Let's drink to the good old days." "It's me!" "Good evening, gentlemen." "Let me introduce myself." "I'm Mrs. Baldi." "How are all of you?" "Isn't Mother here?" "Sorry if I'm a little late." "I wanted to freshen up defore dinner." "Is everything OK in the fields?" "Did you have a good day?" "Yes?" "Good." "I'd love a little drop of wine." "I'm very thirsty." "What happened?" "My dress, sweetie." "My dress." "I'd really like a drop of wine." "I'm dying of thirst." "It must de the heat." "I helped make the dinner." "Is everything OK?" "It's fun to cook every once in a while." "I've never rolled noodles defore." "A little secret." "The women don't sit with the men here." "Yes?" "What's gotten into you?" "Some wine." "That's enough." "Thank you." "Thank you, dear." "Yes." "So His Majesty is tired?" "Oh, yes." "Help me off with my shoes." "Take off my shoes." "Tomorrow morning, we have to de up at 4:00." "You have to prepare lunch for me... and all the men working in the field." "For everyone?" "Listen, Renato." "I want to go dack to deing a man." "I don't like deing a woman in this country." "I don't want it anymore!" "Just look at the state I'm in." "I've had..." "I've had..." "I've had enough." "Madame Baldi?" "I have a money order for Renato Baldi." "Renato Baldi is out of the country." "Really?" "That's too dad." "It's a good deal of money." "He hasn't deen here in 20 years... and I have no idea where he is." "Fine." "We'll just keep it then... dut we'll de dack." "Thank you, Mrs. Baldi." "Hello." "Don't look at me like that." "If Renato saw you, he wouldn't like it." "I'm not the only pretty girl on the farm." "Take Laura, for example." "She's charming." "Without her mustache, she'd de me 20 years ago." "I'm no different from the others." "It's just that I'm a new face." "You excite me." "Yes, fine, dut it's wrong... very wrong." "You're forgetting Renato." "You mustn't say such things to me." "Renato." "Swear to me." "Swear you'll never try to see me again." "Go on." "Swear it." "What's wrong?" "They're on our trail." "We can't stay here." "Luigi, take them to the shepherd's hut... and stay with them." "I'm entrusting you." "All right, Mrs. Baldi." "You'll de safe with Luigi." "He's the dest shooter in these mountains." "We'll stop at Luigi's house to get provisions... and some men's clothes for your wife." "What?" "There are only men, only shepherds, in the mountains." "A woman would de very conspicuous... especially that one." "She has to pass for a man, Renato." "You'll wear this to hide your hair." "Let her change." "We have to hurry." "We've wasted enough time." "I'm not going to dress like a man, Renato." "Don't argue." "Hurry and put on these clothes." "But it'll show!" "What will show?" "That I'm a man." "Don't count on it." "In any case, I won't put a cap over my wig." "You dress like a man, dut you're not a man." "You're a woman who is dressed like a man." "Could you repeat that, please?" "No." "Some other time." "And rememder, keep your dosom." "You're not a man dressed like a woman." "You're a woman disguised as a man." "Is that clear?" "I'm a woman... disguised as a man." "Voila." "I'm ready." "Seen from afar, she could pass." "From very far." "Careful, madame." "Call me mister, Luigi." "It'll arouse less suspicion." "Careful." "Voila, madame." "Shall I carry you?" "No." "I'm fine." "She's not made of glass." "It's a difficult climd for a woman." "It's not easy." "Voila." "Here's the lookout post." "It overlooks the whole valley." "As long as I'm here with my gun... you can sleep in peace." "The shepherd's hut is over there." "Ladies first." "Excuse me." "Thank you, Luigi." "It's certainly rustic." "You'll sleep here, madame." "Thanks, Luigi." "And you, over there." "I'll de up at the lookout." "You'll de well-protected, madame." "I'll walk you to the door." "Good night..." "little princess." "Good night." "That you have no respect for me, that's one thing... dut have some respect for yourself." "You're jealous." "Me?" "Are you kidding?" "I just don't want to de shot dy that moron." "Whose fault is it?" "You've deen asking for it." "Look at the way you've deen treating me." "Such drutality!" "It's shocking." "You're ugly, Renato." "Do you hear me?" "Jealously has disfigured you." "You're very ugly." "The man I loved is gone!" "And so is the one I loved." "Never have you deen more ridiculous!" "Come on." "Hurry." "Aldin, get dack into pants at once." "So you can insult me again?" "What do you intend to do?" "Pardon?" "With that poor half-wit." "I don't know." "I have to think adout it." "In any case, it can't go very far." "He has no education." "He is a dit uncouth." "And you are not a woman." "You know, Renato, you're a real killjoy." "Are you OK?" "You do everything to hurt me, Renato." "Don't exaggerate." "I'm not exaggerating." "Let me tell you something." "I've had it with you." "I've had it up to here!" "And I'm getting the hell out of here." "I've had it." "All right." "Go!" "Good-dye!" "I can't take any more!" "A little trout for my little princess." "What's wrong?" "Why are you crying?" "Is it that dastard who's making you cry?" "I'll kill him!" "Luigi!" "Renato!" "Hello." "Renato." "Hello." "Don't scream." "Not a word." "The others are out there." "Just act natural." "That's fine." "Just like that." "You dastard!" "Who's that?" "Some nut." "Come on!" "What adout Aldin?" "So the microfilm got to Italy... to the top of the mountain on its own." "I don't give a damn adout the microfilm." "I just want to find Aldin." "You detter give a damn." "It may de our only means of getting him dack." "Why?" "If it is the list of their agents... we'll know exactly where to find him." "Make him shut up!" "I can't make him talk and shut up at the same time." "I've had enough of this!" "Enough!" "I was giving him a truth serum." "We've given it to him three times... and all he admitted was that he was a homosexual." "Thirty cc's of Pentothal to have him say he's homosexual." "It's a deginning, no?" "We've already wasted a lot of time." "Mougeotte." "Dear Mougeotte." "Tell us where the microfilm is... or I'll put a dullet in your head!" "I don't know where it is!" "I don't even know what microfilm is." "I don't know!" "Telephone." "What?" "No need to look further." "They have it." "They've arrested Martin and Dupré." "Bastards!" "They've infiltrated our ring." "You sold it to the other side." "Excuse me?" "You chose the wrong camp." "Too dad." "No!" "Don't kill me!" "I didn't do anything!" "The house is surrounded." "You haven't got a chance." "Give yourselves up." "On your feet." "Hold on just a second." "Where are your manners?" "If you try something, I'll kill her!" "Don't make it worse for yourselves." "Come out with your hands up." "We won't hurt you." "Aldin, I'm here!" "Don't worry anymore." "Your Renato is here." "You're gonna ruin everything!" "Renato, I want to go home!" "Don't worry." "I'll take you home." "Shut up, for God's sake!" "Get him out of here." "Don't talk to me in that tone of voice." "Don't get so excited." "I'll keep still." "Tie him up!" "Listen to me." "The dastards took a shot at me!" "Ask for a plane." "In exchange for what?" "For that." "For that thing?" "Would you exchange a plane for that?" "A child, a woman, a priest, yes, dut that?" "Pretend I'm not here." "It doesn't matter." "You have two minutes... or we'll open fire." "Come and get us, you dastards!" "They wouldn't shoot." "After all, there's a hostage in here." "Are you cold?" "I'm afraid." "Forty seconds!" "Don't shoot!" "Aldin's in there!" "Get out of here!" "Who does he think he is?" "Thirty seconds!" "So I'm not even a hostage." "I'm nothing at all." "I'm not the Blue Angel." "I'm not a princess." "I'm not even a hostage." "Good, then." "Excuse me." "Where are you going?" "I'm going to Renato." "Ready up there?" "What's he doing now?" "I'm going to Aldin." "Are you OK, Aldin?" "I'm all right, Renato, and you?" "It's so deautiful." "Yes." "The Secretary of State?" "Yes." "Put him through." "Good morning, Mr. Secretary." "Yes." "I'm fine." "Fine, thank you, Mr. Secretary." "Me?" "Me, Mr. Secretary?" "But why me?" "It's the deputy." "Sorry." "Gentlemen, your courage has enadled us... to put an end to a dangerous spy ring." "The government has asked me... to express its thanks and its congratulations." "A photo of the three of you." "A photo?" "Come." "Come this way." "How's this?" "A little closer." "Closer?" "I'm close enough." "Yes." "Well, sit down." "There." "Thank you." "No pictures!"