"♪" "(sighing) Don't forget about the Give-a-thon this afternoon." "Don't forget about the Give-a-thon this afternoon." "Hey, guys, Give-a-thon today." "Give-a-thon this afternoon." "Hey, guys, Give-a-thon today." "Make a difference." "Hey, guys, Give-a-thon today." "Make a difference." "Hi." "Make a difference." "Hi." "(gasping)" "Hi." "(gasping) Surprise!" "(gasping) Surprise!" "(laughing)" "Surprise!" "(laughing) Happybirthday,babe." "(laughing) Happybirthday,babe." "Youguys!" "Happybirthday,babe." "Youguys!" "So cool." "Youguys!" "So cool." "I love surprises." "So cool." "I love surprises." "Mwah!" "I love surprises." "Mwah!" "Good,' causeI 'vegot" "Mwah!" "Good,' causeI 'vegot another one." "Emily, you've made me the happiest man in the world." "Will you marry me?" "the happiest man in the world." "Will you marry me?" "Howsweet." "Will you marry me?" "Howsweet." "He likes it," "Howsweet." "He likes it, so he's putting a ring on it." "He likes it, so he's putting a ring on it." "But here's a question." "so he's putting a ring on it." "But here's a question." "Why do we put diamond rings" "But here's a question." "Why do we put diamond rings on things we like at all?" "Why do we put diamond rings on things we like at all?" "Idon't" "I'msorry, on things we like at all?" "Idon't" "I'msorry, who are you?" "Idon't" "I'msorry, who are you?" "Hi,I 'mAdamConover." "who are you?" "Hi,I 'mAdamConover." "Okay." "Hi,I 'mAdamConover." "Okay." "Andthisis" "Okay." "Andthisis  "Adam Ruins Everything."" "Andthisis  "Adam Ruins Everything." ♪" "(crackling) (ding-ding) (buzzer)" "Closed Captions Provided by truTV" "Isthis,like,aTV show ?" "Yeah,it'smine." "It's my TV show." "Yeah,it'smine." "It's my TV show." "Every week, I reveal the awful" "It's my TV show." "Every week, I reveal the awful truth about a beloved part of" "Every week, I reveal the awful truth about a beloved part of your world." "truth about a beloved part of your world." "Thatsoundslikeaterrible your world." "Thatsoundslikeaterrible premise." "Thatsoundslikeaterrible premise." "Mmm,no,it 'sgonnabe premise." "Mmm,no,it 'sgonnabe really cool." "Mmm,no,it 'sgonnabe really cool." "And today, our topic is... really cool." "And today, our topic is..." "Giving." "And today, our topic is..." "Giving." "Areyouserious?" "Giving." "Areyouserious?" "You're gonna ruin my birthday" "Areyouserious?" "You're gonna ruin my birthday engagement for your dumb show" "You're gonna ruin my birthday engagement for your dumb show about how smart you are?" "engagement for your dumb show about how smart you are?" "Yup." "about how smart you are?" "Yup." "Oh, and, uh, just so you know" "Yup." "Oh, and, uh, just so you know that everything I'm saying is" "Oh, and, uh, just so you know that everything I'm saying is right, I'll be listing all of that everything I'm saying is right, I'll be listing all of my sources on the screen." "Yes,police,he 's5' 9", glasses, very smarmy." "glasses, very smarmy." "So,wemaythinkofthe" "So,wemaythinkofthe diamond engagement ring as diamond engagement ring as a timeless symbol of love, but it turns out this ancient tradition was invented less than a century ago by the De Beers tradition was invented less than a century ago by the De Beers Diamond Corporation." "a century ago by the De Beers Diamond Corporation." "Before the 1930s, people didn't" "Diamond Corporation." "Before the 1930s, people didn't exchange diamond rings when they" "Before the 1930s, people didn't exchange diamond rings when they got engaged." "exchange diamond rings when they got engaged." "It wasn't a thing." "got engaged." "It wasn't a thing." "Hey,Ethel,whatdoyousay" "It wasn't a thing." "Hey,Ethel,whatdoyousay we get married?" "Hey,Ethel,whatdoyousay we get married?" "Soundswell." "we get married?" "Soundswell." "What'll you give me, Frank?" "Soundswell." "What'll you give me, Frank?" "Well,I 'vegotnothing." "What'll you give me, Frank?" "Well,I 'vegotnothing." "Except my undying love and" "Well,I 'vegotnothing." "Except my undying love and devotion." "Except my undying love and devotion." "Sold!" "Oh,Iloveya,Frank !" "devotion." "Sold!" "Oh,Iloveya,Frank !" "Butin1938,DeBeers" "Sold!" "Oh,Iloveya,Frank !" "Butin1938,DeBeers launched a massive ad campaign" "Butin1938,DeBeers launched a massive ad campaign claiming that the only way for a launched a massive ad campaign claiming that the only way for a real man to show his love is claiming that the only way for a real man to show his love is with a hunk of crystallized" "real man to show his love is with a hunk of crystallized carbon." "with a hunk of crystallized carbon." "And we bought it." "carbon." "And we bought it." "Holdon,it saysifI don't" "And we bought it." "Holdon,it saysifI don't buy you one of these ring" "Holdon,it saysifI don't buy you one of these ring dealies, then I'm a buy you one of these ring dealies, then I'm a pencil-necked dandy poof." "dealies, then I'm a pencil-necked dandy poof." "Andit'son thesideof pencil-necked dandy poof." "Andit'son thesideof a building, so it must be true." "Andit'son thesideof a building, so it must be true." "Infact,everypartofthe a building, so it must be true." "Infact,everypartofthe engagement tradition was" "Infact,everypartofthe engagement tradition was designed to make more money engagement tradition was designed to make more money for De Beers." "designed to make more money for De Beers." "Like, how much did you drop on for De Beers." "Like, how much did you drop on that rock?" "Like, how much did you drop on that rock?" "Fourgrand." "that rock?" "Fourgrand." "What?" "That'smorethan" "Fourgrand." "What?" "That'smorethan your car." "What?" "That'smorethan your car." "Mydadsaidthe rulewastwo your car." "Mydadsaidthe rulewastwo months' salary." "Mydadsaidthe rulewastwo months' salary." "Dude,that'snotarule ." "months' salary." "Dude,that'snotarule ." "That's just an arbitrary number" "Dude,that'snotarule ." "That's just an arbitrary number from an old De Beers'" "That's just an arbitrary number from an old De Beers' ad campaign." "from an old De Beers' ad campaign." "Buyheradiamondworth ad campaign." "Buyheradiamondworth one month's salary." "Buyheradiamondworth one month's salary." "She'll be sure to love you one month's salary." "She'll be sure to love you eterni-ally." "She'll be sure to love you eterni-ally." "Uh...profitsaredown." "eterni-ally." "Uh...profitsaredown." "Better make it two months." "Uh...profitsaredown." "Better make it two months." "Thishasgottabethemost" "Better make it two months." "Thishasgottabethemost successful ad campaign" "Thishasgottabethemost successful ad campaign of all time." "successful ad campaign of all time." "Like, think if every brand of all time." "Like, think if every brand could do this." "Like, think if every brand could do this." "In 50 years, we'd all be could do this." "In 50 years, we'd all be going..." "Oh,sweetie,thesamething again?" "again?" "Well,youknowthatoldrule." "Pizza in the morning, pizza in the evening, pizza at suppertime." "pizza in the evening, pizza at suppertime." "When pizza's on a bagel, pizza at suppertime." "When pizza's on a bagel, you must eat pizza all the time." "When pizza's on a bagel, you must eat pizza all the time." "No,there'sno crime." "you must eat pizza all the time." "No,there'sno crime." "He's just telling us a lot" "No,there'sno crime." "He's just telling us a lot of annoying facts." "He's just telling us a lot of annoying facts." "(beep, dial tone) of annoying facts." "(beep, dial tone) Hello?" "Hello?" "!" "(beep, dial tone) Hello?" "Hello?" "!" "Well,it'snotlikeIthrew" "Hello?" "Hello?" "!" "Well,it'snotlikeIthrew  my money away." "Well,it'snotlikeIthrew  my money away." "I mean, at least the ring my money away." "I mean, at least the ring is worth something." "I mean, at least the ring is worth something." "Actually,diamondsare is worth something." "Actually,diamondsare intrinsically worthless." "Actually,diamondsare intrinsically worthless." "Irefuseto believethat." "intrinsically worthless." "Irefuseto believethat." "Oh,well,maybeyou 'll" "Irefuseto believethat." "Oh,well,maybeyou 'll believe De Beers Chairman" "Oh,well,maybeyou 'll believe De Beers Chairman Nicky Oppenheimer, who was once believe De Beers Chairman Nicky Oppenheimer, who was once quoted as saying:" "No,I refuseto believeyou ." "Yeah,you'rejustsomeguy with a basic cable show." "Yeah,you'rejustsomeguy with a basic cable show." "I mean, it's not like you wrote with a basic cable show." "I mean, it's not like you wrote the book on it." "I mean, it's not like you wrote the book on it." "No,butEdwardJay Epstein the book on it." "No,butEdwardJay Epstein did." "No,butEdwardJay Epstein did." "Hey, Ed." "did." "Hey, Ed." "Hi,Adam." "Hey, Ed." "Hi,Adam." "He'sa journalistwho's" "Hi,Adam." "He'sa journalistwho's written about the De Beers" "He'sa journalistwho's written about the De Beers diamond cartel for over 30 written about the De Beers diamond cartel for over 30 years, and he's the foremost diamond cartel for over 30 years, and he's the foremost expert on the subject." "years, and he's the foremost expert on the subject." "Well,crud." "expert on the subject." "Well,crud." "Haveyouevertired" "Well,crud." "Haveyouevertired to sell a diamond?" "Haveyouevertired to sell a diamond?" "Well, I have." "When I was writing my book, I took a diamond that someone" "I took a diamond that someone had paid $6,000 for had paid $6,000 for the day before, the day before, and I took it from one and I took it from one diamond store to another diamond store to another diamond store in New York." "And you know what I was offered?" "Less than $1,000." "Iknowthat,'causeIread" "Less than $1,000." "Iknowthat,'causeIread the book, so..." "Iknowthat,'causeIread the book, so..." "Thatdiamondhadlost the book, so..." "Thatdiamondhadlost five-sixths of its value" "Thatdiamondhadlost five-sixths of its value overnight." "five-sixths of its value overnight." "So,diamondsaren'tagreat overnight." "So,diamondsaren'tagreat investment per se?" "So,diamondsaren'tagreat investment per se?" "Faceit,kid." "investment per se?" "Faceit,kid." "You got ripped off." "Faceit,kid." "You got ripped off." "Thanks,Ed." "You got ripped off." "Thanks,Ed." "Aah!" "Thanks,Ed." "Aah!" "Thethingis ,diamondsaren't" "Aah!" "Thethingis ,diamondsaren't rare at all." "Thethingis ,diamondsaren't rare at all." "In fact, they're quite common." "rare at all." "In fact, they're quite common." "The only reason diamonds are" "In fact, they're quite common." "The only reason diamonds are even expensive is that De Beers" "The only reason diamonds are even expensive is that De Beers has a global monopoly on diamond even expensive is that De Beers has a global monopoly on diamond mining and they artificially has a global monopoly on diamond mining and they artificially restrict the supply to jack" "mining and they artificially restrict the supply to jack the prices up." "restrict the supply to jack the prices up." "But in reality, those (bleep) the prices up." "But in reality, those (bleep) have a (bleep) ton of them." "But in reality, those (bleep) have a (bleep) ton of them." "Theseareextremelyrare." "Pay no attention to that." "Andthat'swhyDeBeers wants us to think a diamond" "Andthat'swhyDeBeers wants us to think a diamond is forever." "wants us to think a diamond is forever." "As long as we never try to is forever." "As long as we never try to sell them, we'll never figure" "As long as we never try to sell them, we'll never figure out how badly we got screwed." "sell them, we'll never figure out how badly we got screwed." "Okay,sowhatcan we out how badly we got screwed." "Okay,sowhatcan we do about it?" "Okay,sowhatcan we do about it?" "Nothing--a centuryof  do about it?" "Nothing--a centuryof  advertising has embedded" "Nothing--a centuryof  advertising has embedded the diamond engagement ring advertising has embedded the diamond engagement ring so deeply in our culture that the diamond engagement ring so deeply in our culture that even knowing all that doesn't" "so deeply in our culture that even knowing all that doesn't stop us from wanting them." "even knowing all that doesn't stop us from wanting them." "He'sright, stop us from wanting them." "He'sright, I still want that rock." "He'sright, I still want that rock." "Great,um,well,then," "I still want that rock." "Great,um,well,then, here's some worthless junk I was" "Great,um,well,then, here's some worthless junk I was tricked into buying from an here's some worthless junk I was tricked into buying from an international cartel, I guess." "tricked into buying from an international cartel, I guess." "Well,itisn'tworthless international cartel, I guess." "Well,itisn'tworthless to me." "Well,itisn'tworthless to me." "It means you love me." "to me." "It means you love me." "BecauseDeBeerstoldyou" "It means you love me." "BecauseDeBeerstoldyou that's what it means." "BecauseDeBeerstoldyou that's what it means." "Whatever." "that's what it means." "Whatever." "♪" "Nowthatthat'sover." "Oh.( laughs) Here's a present for the" "Oh.( laughs) Here's a present for the bride-to-be." "Here's a present for the bride-to-be." "Ooh,thankyou." "bride-to-be." "Ooh,thankyou." "(clearing throat)" "Ooh,thankyou." "(clearing throat) Oh, it's a pair of TOMS shoes." "(clearing throat) Oh, it's a pair of TOMS shoes." "Oh, these are so wonderful." "Oh, it's a pair of TOMS shoes." "Oh, these are so wonderful." "Every time you buy one," "Oh, these are so wonderful." "Every time you buy one, they give one to a child..." "Every time you buy one, they give one to a child..." "What are you doing here?" "they give one to a child..." "What are you doing here?" "Well,there'ssomethingyou" "What are you doing here?" "Well,there'ssomethingyou  should know about TOMS shoes." "Well,there'ssomethingyou  should know about TOMS shoes." "Oh,crap." "should know about TOMS shoes." "Oh,crap." "♪" "(school bell ringing) Okay,classis aboutto start so... get the hell out." "Okay,classis aboutto start so... get the hell out." "Hi,kids,I'mAdam." "start so... get the hell out." "Hi,kids,I'mAdam." "Goodmorning,Adam." "Hi,kids,I'mAdam." "Goodmorning,Adam." "Don'tsaymy nameinunison." "Goodmorning,Adam." "Don'tsaymy nameinunison." "It promotes blind obedience." "Don'tsaymy nameinunison." "It promotes blind obedience." "And don't give me apples." "It promotes blind obedience." "And don't give me apples." "Butanappleaday" "And don't give me apples." "Butanappleaday keeps the doctor away." "Butanappleaday keeps the doctor away." "No,kid,that'sjustan keeps the doctor away." "No,kid,that'sjustan ad slogan created by the" "No,kid,that'sjustan ad slogan created by the apple industry." "ad slogan created by the apple industry." "In fact, until the late 19th apple industry." "In fact, until the late 19th century, apples were exclusively" "In fact, until the late 19th century, apples were exclusively used to make hard cider." "century, apples were exclusively used to make hard cider." "It wasn't until the temperance used to make hard cider." "It wasn't until the temperance movement that" "It wasn't until the temperance movement that-- Hey,stayon track." "movement that-- Hey,stayon track." "Sorry,savethatfor another" "Hey,stayon track." "Sorry,savethatfor another episode." "Sorry,savethatfor another episode." "We all know TOMS shoes." "episode." "We all know TOMS shoes." "Their "Buy one, give one"" "We all know TOMS shoes." "Their "Buy one, give one" business model has made them" "Their "Buy one, give one" business model has made them massively successful." "business model has made them massively successful." "WhatifIstartedashoe massively successful." "WhatifIstartedashoe company, and every time" "WhatifIstartedashoe company, and every time I sold a pair of shoes, company, and every time I sold a pair of shoes, I gave a pair away?" "I sold a pair of shoes, I gave a pair away?" "♪" "I gave a pair away?" "♪ (sighs)" "♪ (sighs) I love Tom." "(sighs) I love Tom." "Well,thereis no Tom." "I love Tom." "Well,thereis no Tom." "(all gasp and exclaim)" "Well,thereis no Tom." "(all gasp and exclaim) Oh, no-no-no, he's just a myth." "(all gasp and exclaim) Oh, no-no-no, he's just a myth." "Like Santa Claus." "Oh, no-no-no, he's just a myth." "Like Santa Claus." "(all gasp and exclaim)" "Like Santa Claus." "(all gasp and exclaim) Whattheheck?" "(all gasp and exclaim) Whattheheck?" "Iknow,Iwas surprisedtoo." "Whattheheck?" "Iknow,Iwas surprisedtoo." "But the real owner of TOMS" "Iknow,Iwas surprisedtoo." "But the real owner of TOMS is a guy named Blake Mycoskie." "But the real owner of TOMS is a guy named Blake Mycoskie." "And as noble as Blake's is a guy named Blake Mycoskie." "And as noble as Blake's intentions may be, the "Buy one," "And as noble as Blake's intentions may be, the "Buy one, give one" model is incredibly intentions may be, the "Buy one, give one" model is incredibly misguided." "give one" model is incredibly misguided." "(girl sobbing) misguided." "(girl sobbing) Oh... (girl sobbing) Oh..." "I'msorry,Idon 'tknow" "Oh..." "I'msorry,Idon 'tknow how to talk to kids." "I'msorry,Idon 'tknow how to talk to kids." "Oh, geez." "how to talk to kids." "Oh, geez." "Hey, darlin'..." "Oh, geez." "Hey, darlin'..." "you like questioning" "Hey, darlin'..." "you like questioning social norms or... you like questioning social norms or..." "Oh, never mind." "social norms or..." "Oh, never mind." "(muttering)" "Oh, never mind." "(muttering) Great." "(muttering) Great." "So, we're done here." "Great." "So, we're done here." "Yeah,let'sleave." "So, we're done here." "Yeah,let'sleave." "(zap, whoosh, crackle)" "Yeah,let'sleave." "(zap, whoosh, crackle) (kids whispering)" "(zap, whoosh, crackle) (kids whispering) Teacher'sgone!" "(kids whispering) Teacher'sgone!" "(all screaming)" "Teacher'sgone!" "(all screaming) What?" "Howdidwe...?" "(all screaming) What?" "Howdidwe...?" "Oh,it'smy show,soI can" "What?" "Howdidwe...?" "Oh,it'smy show,soI can just like, whatever." "Oh,it'smy show,soI can just like, whatever." "It's not common knowledge, but just like, whatever." "It's not common knowledge, but before Blake founded TOMS shoes," "It's not common knowledge, but before Blake founded TOMS shoes, he was a reality star who before Blake founded TOMS shoes, he was a reality star who appeared on "The Amazing Race"" "he was a reality star who appeared on "The Amazing Race" and Fox's "Sexiest Bachelor appeared on "The Amazing Race" and Fox's "Sexiest Bachelor in America" pageant, and Fox's "Sexiest Bachelor in America" pageant, where he gave away something" "in America" pageant, where he gave away something even more valuable than shoes-- where he gave away something even more valuable than shoes-- dat ass." "even more valuable than shoes-- dat ass." "Really?" "dat ass." "Really?" "Whoa." "Really?" "Whoa." "Butwhileon atripto" "Whoa." "Butwhileon atripto Argentina, Blake saw the" "Butwhileon atripto Argentina, Blake saw the devastating effects of poverty" "Argentina, Blake saw the devastating effects of poverty with his own piercing blue eyes." "devastating effects of poverty with his own piercing blue eyes." "And he decided then and with his own piercing blue eyes." "And he decided then and there to devote his life" "And he decided then and there to devote his life to helping the needy... there to devote his life to helping the needy..." "by giving them shoes." "to helping the needy..." "by giving them shoes." "Yeah,he'sagenerousguy." "by giving them shoes." "Yeah,he'sagenerousguy." "Ishe?" "Is it generous" "Yeah,he'sagenerousguy." "Ishe?" "Is it generous to give people something" "Ishe?" "Is it generous to give people something they don't want or need?" "to give people something they don't want or need?" "Whatareyoutalkingabout?" "they don't want or need?" "Whatareyoutalkingabout?" "People in those countries" "Whatareyoutalkingabout?" "People in those countries need shoes." "People in those countries need shoes." "Dothey?" "need shoes." "Dothey?" "Yeah..." "Dothey?" "Yeah..." "Howdoyouknow?" "Yeah..." "Howdoyouknow?" "Idon'tknow,uh..." "Howdoyouknow?" "Idon'tknow,uh..." "When I picture someone in" "Idon'tknow,uh..." "When I picture someone in Africa, I imagine them living in" "When I picture someone in Africa, I imagine them living in a village, you know, with no" "Africa, I imagine them living in a village, you know, with no shoes and no clothes and... a village, you know, with no shoes and no clothes and..." "They live in this cute little shoes and no clothes and..." "They live in this cute little hut with an elephant and" "They live in this cute little hut with an elephant and everyone's always playing music hut with an elephant and everyone's always playing music and walking around with water everyone's always playing music and walking around with water jugs on their heads and... and walking around with water jugs on their heads and..." "Oh, my God, this is jugs on their heads and..." "Oh, my God, this is condescending, isn't it?" "Oh, my God, this is condescending, isn't it?" "Tellyouwhat,why don 'twe condescending, isn't it?" "Tellyouwhat,why don 'twe just ask someone from Africa?" "Tellyouwhat,why don 'twe just ask someone from Africa?" "Yeah,weshouldprob... just ask someone from Africa?" "Yeah,weshouldprob..." "Yeah, let's do that." "Yeah, let's do that." "Hey,Teddy,how'sitgoing?" "Hey,Teddy,how'sitgoing?" "Hey,Adam." "Hey,Adam." "Iwantyoutomeet" "Iwantyoutomeet  my friend Emily." "Um,doyouhaveshoes in Uganda?" "in Uganda?" "Surprisingly,yes," "Surprisingly,yes, we do have shoes." "we do have shoes." "We also have shoe stores," "We also have shoe stores, and we also have cobblers." "and we also have cobblers." "ButwhataboutthoseTOMS" "ButwhataboutthoseTOMS  ads, you know, with, with all ads, you know, with, with all the videos of the shoeless the videos of the shoeless children?" "children?" "That'swhatwe call" "That'swhatwe call "poverty porn."" ""poverty porn." They find the most extreme" "They find the most extreme situations and make it look situations and make it look likethemostcommonsituation likethemostcommonsituation on the continent." "Shoes is the least of our problems, really, guys." "problems, really, guys." "We're worried about malaria." "We're worried about malaria." "We're worried about getting" "We're worried about getting jobs,we'rejustworriedabout jobs,we'rejustworriedabout having electricity in the having electricity in the village, for example." "village, for example." "Well,ifthosekidsdon't" "Well,ifthosekidsdon't need free shoes, why did they need free shoes, why did they take them in the first place?" "take them in the first place?" "Akiddoesn'tunderstand" "Akiddoesn'tunderstand the ramifications of me the ramifications of me receiving these free shoes receiving these free shoes from somebody in America." "from somebody in America." "Likewhatkindof" "Likewhatkindof ramifications?" "Well,whatit doesis ramifications?" "Well,whatit doesis actually put people who are" "Well,whatit doesis actually put people who are creating shoes right out of actually put people who are creating shoes right out of business." "creating shoes right out of business." "Ittakeswaythe agencyofthe business." "Ittakeswaythe agencyofthe community to be" "Ittakeswaythe agencyofthe community to be self-sustaining." "community to be self-sustaining." "Yeah,onestudyshowedthat  self-sustaining." "Yeah,onestudyshowedthat  free clothing donations to" "Yeah,onestudyshowedthat  free clothing donations to Africa reduced employment in free clothing donations to Africa reduced employment in their garment industry by half." "Africa reduced employment in their garment industry by half." "AmI clay?" "their garment industry by half." "AmI clay?" "Andhere'sthekicker." "AmI clay?" "Andhere'sthekicker." "The shoes TOMS gives away cost" "Andhere'sthekicker." "The shoes TOMS gives away cost them only four dollars to make." "The shoes TOMS gives away cost them only four dollars to make." "Butwait,theycost60." "them only four dollars to make." "Butwait,theycost60." "So, if I get a pair of" "Butwait,theycost60." "So, if I get a pair of four-dollar shoes and they" "So, if I get a pair of four-dollar shoes and they give away a pair of four-dollar four-dollar shoes and they give away a pair of four-dollar shoes, where do give away a pair of four-dollar shoes, where do the other 52" "shoes, where do the other 52 dollars go?" "the other 52 dollars go?" "(zap, whoosh) dollars go?" "(zap, whoosh) Look,TOMSmaykindofact" "(zap, whoosh) Look,TOMSmaykindofact like they're a charity," "Look,TOMSmaykindofact like they're a charity, but they're a for-profit like they're a charity, but they're a for-profit company." "but they're a for-profit company." "And last year, Blake sold his company." "And last year, Blake sold his stake in TOMS in a deal that" "And last year, Blake sold his stake in TOMS in a deal that valued them at $600 million." "stake in TOMS in a deal that valued them at $600 million." "Corporationsareso evil." "valued them at $600 million." "Corporationsareso evil." "Oh,no,look,corporations" "Corporationsareso evil." "Oh,no,look,corporations are capable of doing plenty of" "Oh,no,look,corporations are capable of doing plenty of good in the world." "are capable of doing plenty of good in the world." "Like, when they contribute to good in the world." "Like, when they contribute to local economies." "Like, when they contribute to local economies." "But the "Buy one, give one"" "local economies." "But the "Buy one, give one" model doesn't help anyone." "But the "Buy one, give one" model doesn't help anyone." "Wow,andhereIthought... model doesn't help anyone." "Wow,andhereIthought..." "Oh, my God!" "Wow,andhereIthought..." "Oh, my God!" "♪" "Oh, my God!" "♪ (school bell ringing)" "♪ (school bell ringing) Wow,youarenot good" "(school bell ringing) Wow,youarenot good at teaching." "Wow,youarenot good at teaching." "Facultyandstudents, at teaching." "Facultyandstudents, please assemble in the gym." "Facultyandstudents, please assemble in the gym." "Oh,God,theGive-a-thon." "please assemble in the gym." "Oh,God,theGive-a-thon." "Okay, thank you very much" "Oh,God,theGive-a-thon." "Okay, thank you very much for this informative, magical" "Okay, thank you very much for this informative, magical journey, I don't even know what for this informative, magical journey, I don't even know what we were doing, but now I am in" "journey, I don't even know what we were doing, but now I am in charge of a canned food drive." "we were doing, but now I am in charge of a canned food drive." "Stop running!" "charge of a canned food drive." "Stop running!" "Be careful!" "Stop running!" "Be careful!" "Oh,cannedfooddrives," "Be careful!" "Oh,cannedfooddrives, now, those have some problems." "Oh,cannedfooddrives, now, those have some problems." "Actually, your local food now, those have some problems." "Actually, your local food pantry doesn't even want your" "Actually, your local food pantry doesn't even want your dusty old... pantry doesn't even want your dusty old..." "(door closes) dusty old..." "(door closes) Oh, and she's gone." "(door closes) Oh, and she's gone." "♪" "Oh, and she's gone." "♪ Hi,ClayAdamhere." "♪ Hi,ClayAdamhere." "Stick around, because," "Hi,ClayAdamhere." "Stick around, because, I promise, I will eventually" "Stick around, because, I promise, I will eventually tell you the best way to give." "I promise, I will eventually tell you the best way to give." "Hey,getoutofmyclayshop!" "tell you the best way to give." "Hey,getoutofmyclayshop!" "You'reright,I'msorry." "Hey,getoutofmyclayshop!" "You'reright,I'msorry." "Hatetobreakittoyou," "You'reright,I'msorry." "Hatetobreakittoyou, but if you line up to give blood" "Hatetobreakittoyou, but if you line up to give blood after a major disaster, but if you line up to give blood after a major disaster, you're doing it wrong." "after a major disaster, you're doing it wrong." "Mass blood drives became an you're doing it wrong." "Mass blood drives became an American civic tradition during" "Mass blood drives became an American civic tradition during World War II, when huge amounts" "American civic tradition during World War II, when huge amounts of blood were needed by the" "World War II, when huge amounts of blood were needed by the military." "of blood were needed by the military." "Therearethreewaystohelp military." "Therearethreewaystohelp your boys overseas..." "I'm sure that in 50 years, these will all seem like great decisions." "these will all seem like great decisions." "Now,wheneverthere's great decisions." "Now,wheneverthere's a tragedy in the news, we all" "Now,wheneverthere's a tragedy in the news, we all reflexively rush to have our a tragedy in the news, we all reflexively rush to have our veins vacuumed." "reflexively rush to have our veins vacuumed." "SendmybloodtoDesMoines." "veins vacuumed." "SendmybloodtoDesMoines." "Theproblemis wheneveryone" "SendmybloodtoDesMoines." "Theproblemis wheneveryone in the country does this," "Theproblemis wheneveryone in the country does this, we end up with a lot more blood in the country does this, we end up with a lot more blood than we actually need." "we end up with a lot more blood than we actually need." "Yeah,I 'llthrowit  than we actually need." "Yeah,I 'llthrowit  on the pile." "Yeah,I 'llthrowit  on the pile." "Now,thiswouldn'tbe on the pile." "Now,thiswouldn'tbe a problem except that blood" "Now,thiswouldn'tbe a problem except that blood expires after just 42 days." "After September 11th prompted patriotic Americans to donate in patriotic Americans to donate in record numbers, blood banks were record numbers, blood banks were forced to trash over 300,000 forced to trash over 300,000 pints of blood." "pints of blood." "Those donations were made with" "Those donations were made with the best of intentions, but they the best of intentions, but they didn't help anyone." "didn't help anyone." "Except maybe vampires." "Except maybe vampires." "(slurping)" "Theworstpartisbloodbanks  need donations year round." "need donations year round." "And most of the time, only 5% of" "And most of the time, only 5% of eligible Americans donate." "Eh,I 'mgonnawaitfor the  next earthquake." "So,ifyoureallywannahelp next earthquake." "So,ifyoureallywannahelp after a disaster, wait a few" "So,ifyoureallywannahelp after a disaster, wait a few months and donate blood then." "after a disaster, wait a few months and donate blood then." "And then, keep donating, months and donate blood then." "And then, keep donating, like, all the time." "And then, keep donating, like, all the time." "Yes...donatefrequently." "like, all the time." "Yes...donatefrequently." "Allright,thissegment's" "Yes...donatefrequently." "Allright,thissegment's over." "Allright,thissegment's over." "Let's get back to the real show." "over." "Let's get back to the real show." "♪" "Here's the problem with canned food drives." "First, you should know that one food drives." "First, you should know that one in seven Americans rely on food" "First, you should know that one in seven Americans rely on food pantries to help feed their in seven Americans rely on food pantries to help feed their families." "pantries to help feed their families." "Exactly,hunger families." "Exactly,hunger is a real problem." "Exactly,hunger is a real problem." "Yes,butcannedfooddrives is a real problem." "Yes,butcannedfooddrives are a terrible solution." "Yes,butcannedfooddrives are a terrible solution." "You know the first thing are a terrible solution." "You know the first thing the food pantry does with" "You know the first thing the food pantry does with our old cans?" "the food pantry does with our old cans?" "They throw half of 'em out." "our old cans?" "They throw half of 'em out." "Oh." "They throw half of 'em out." "Oh." "Wetendto usefooddrives" "Oh." "Wetendto usefooddrives to clean out our cabinets," "Wetendto usefooddrives to clean out our cabinets, which means we only donate the to clean out our cabinets, which means we only donate the food that's so old and gross, which means we only donate the food that's so old and gross, even we won't eat it." "food that's so old and gross, even we won't eat it." "Thiscandycorn... even we won't eat it." "Thiscandycorn..." "Eh, the poor will eat it." "Thiscandycorn..." "Eh, the poor will eat it." "Othersbuyfoodatfull" "Eh, the poor will eat it." "Othersbuyfoodatfull  retail price, picking out cans" "Othersbuyfoodatfull  retail price, picking out cans as though they were the needy's retail price, picking out cans as though they were the needy's personal shopper." "as though they were the needy's personal shopper." "Dothepoorlikeoriginal personal shopper." "Dothepoorlikeoriginal or bold and spicy?" "Dothepoorlikeoriginal or bold and spicy?" "Original, they're not fancy." "or bold and spicy?" "Original, they're not fancy." "Okay,butthey'restill" "Original, they're not fancy." "Okay,butthey'restill chipping in free food." "Okay,butthey'restill chipping in free food." "Yeah,dreamon ,lady." "chipping in free food." "Yeah,dreamon ,lady." "Free?" "Somebody has to pay to" "Yeah,dreamon ,lady." "Free?" "Somebody has to pay to haul all of this stuff" "Free?" "Somebody has to pay to haul all of this stuff to a warehouse." "haul all of this stuff to a warehouse." "Oh, oh, my God... to a warehouse." "Oh, oh, my God..." "Andsomeonehastosort and" "Oh, oh, my God..." "Andsomeonehastosort and throw out all the expired cans." "Andsomeonehastosort and throw out all the expired cans." "Andplus,cannedfoodishigh throw out all the expired cans." "Andplus,cannedfoodishigh in sodium, which causes" "Andplus,cannedfoodishigh in sodium, which causes high blood pressure." "Ahh!" "Well,that'san exaggeration." "Your heart wouldn't literally" "Well,that'san exaggeration." "Your heart wouldn't literally explode-- great work, Tony" "Your heart wouldn't literally explode-- great work, Tony-- but it is true that nearly half explode-- great work, Tony-- but it is true that nearly half the food we donate doesn't meet but it is true that nearly half the food we donate doesn't meet basic nutritional standards." "the food we donate doesn't meet basic nutritional standards." "Okay,sowhatkindoffood basic nutritional standards." "Okay,sowhatkindoffood do pantries need?" "Okay,sowhatkindoffood do pantries need?" "Idon'tknow, do pantries need?" "Idon'tknow, what do you eat?" "Idon'tknow, what do you eat?" "Me?" "Oh,well.." "what do you eat?" "Me?" "Oh,well.." "(clearing throat)" "Me?" "Oh,well.." "(clearing throat) I really like fruits and" "(clearing throat) I really like fruits and veggies, I eat a lot of salads." "I really like fruits and veggies, I eat a lot of salads." "Oh, and I try to eat lean meats, veggies, I eat a lot of salads." "Oh, and I try to eat lean meats, you know, chicken and turkey and" "Oh, and I try to eat lean meats, you know, chicken and turkey and stuff like that, and... you know, chicken and turkey and stuff like that, and..." "Oh, I just love a loaf of fresh, stuff like that, and..." "Oh, I just love a loaf of fresh, crusty bread." "Oh, I just love a loaf of fresh, crusty bread." "Exactly,butyoucan 'tdonate crusty bread." "Exactly,butyoucan 'tdonate any of those foods because" "Exactly,butyoucan 'tdonate any of those foods because they're all perishable." "any of those foods because they're all perishable." "Genevieve, would you tell Emily they're all perishable." "Genevieve, would you tell Emily why canned food drives suck?" "Genevieve, would you tell Emily why canned food drives suck?" "Cannedfooddrivesdon 't why canned food drives suck?" "Cannedfooddrivesdon 't suck, but they're not the most" "Cannedfooddrivesdon 't suck, but they're not the most efficient way to give." "Oh,yourunafood bank , don't you?" "Yeah, I do." "And at our food bank, we have a lot of canned food drives, but they're a whole lot of work." "lot of canned food drives, but they're a whole lot of work." "And sometimes we have to throw they're a whole lot of work." "And sometimes we have to throw away food, and there's some cost" "And sometimes we have to throw away food, and there's some cost involved in that." "away food, and there's some cost involved in that." "Buttherearebenefits, involved in that." "Buttherearebenefits, right?" "Buttherearebenefits, right?" "Well,yeah,Imean, right?" "Well,yeah,Imean, one of the things that's great" "Well,yeah,Imean, one of the things that's great is it can help children one of the things that's great is it can help children connect to giving." "is it can help children connect to giving." "Maybe they'll go out and shop connect to giving." "Maybe they'll go out and shop for their favorite canned food" "Maybe they'll go out and shop for their favorite canned food or soup and knowing that another for their favorite canned food or soup and knowing that another child is gonna get it really or soup and knowing that another child is gonna get it really helps to make that connection" "child is gonna get it really helps to make that connection with giving." "helps to make that connection with giving." "Oh,thatsoundslike with giving." "Oh,thatsoundslike a good thing." "Oh,thatsoundslike a good thing." "Okay,allright,fairpoint, a good thing." "Okay,allright,fairpoint, fair point, but..." "Okay,allright,fairpoint, fair point, but..." "Thetruthis thebestwayto fair point, but..." "Thetruthis thebestwayto help a food bank is to donate" "Thetruthis thebestwayto help a food bank is to donate money, because we buy food on help a food bank is to donate money, because we buy food on a wholesale level, and we work" "money, because we buy food on a wholesale level, and we work with farmers, so we can take the a wholesale level, and we work with farmers, so we can take the dollar that you might spend on a" "with farmers, so we can take the dollar that you might spend on a single can of beans and turn it dollar that you might spend on a single can of beans and turn it into exponentially more food." "single can of beans and turn it into exponentially more food." "Hey,there,folks." "into exponentially more food." "Hey,there,folks." "I got a delivery here" "Hey,there,folks." "I got a delivery here for one dollar's worth of food." "I got a delivery here for one dollar's worth of food." "I mean, comically large amount for one dollar's worth of food." "I mean, comically large amount of food." "I mean, comically large amount of food." "Igetit ,butIlike the of food." "Igetit ,butIlike the canned food drive." "Igetit ,butIlike the canned food drive." "It brings the community together canned food drive." "It brings the community together and everyone feels good..." "It brings the community together and everyone feels good..." "Yeah,butthoseare all ways and everyone feels good..." "Yeah,butthoseare all ways in which the canned food drive" "Yeah,butthoseare all ways in which the canned food drive helps you, not the people in which the canned food drive helps you, not the people who need it." "helps you, not the people who need it." "That's not generosity." "who need it." "That's not generosity." "That's selfishness." "That's not generosity." "That's selfishness." "Hasanyoneevertoldyou" "That's selfishness." "Hasanyoneevertoldyou you're a little abrasive?" "Hasanyoneevertoldyou you're a little abrasive?" "Yeah,likeallthe time." "you're a little abrasive?" "Yeah,likeallthe time." "Oh,wow." "Yeah,likeallthe time." "Oh,wow." "Oh,oh,wow." "Oh,wow." "Oh,oh,wow." "♪" "Oh,oh,wow." "♪ Everything is wrong in here." "♪ Everything is wrong in here." "(laughing)" "Everything is wrong in here." "(laughing) Comeon,dude." "(laughing) Comeon,dude." "90%ofwhat'scollected" "Comeon,dude." "90%ofwhat'scollected by coat drives is recycled 90%ofwhat'scollected by coat drives is recycled for scrap." "by coat drives is recycled for scrap." "A lot of the people who get free for scrap." "A lot of the people who get free farm animals just sell them." "A lot of the people who get free farm animals just sell them." "You know what relief groups call farm animals just sell them." "You know what relief groups call the deluge of unneeded supplies" "You know what relief groups call the deluge of unneeded supplies we send to disaster areas?" "the deluge of unneeded supplies we send to disaster areas?" "No." "we send to disaster areas?" "No." ""Theseconddisaster."" "No." ""Theseconddisaster." Fascinating." ""Theseconddisaster." Fascinating." "Oh,andfinally..." "Fascinating." "Oh,andfinally..." "soda can pull tabs." "Oh,andfinally..." "soda can pull tabs." "People all over America collect soda can pull tabs." "People all over America collect them for charity, which is" "People all over America collect them for charity, which is weird, because they're totally them for charity, which is weird, because they're totally worthless." "weird, because they're totally worthless." "Really?" "worthless." "Really?" "Yeah,sorry,kid," "Really?" "Yeah,sorry,kid, it's an urban myth." "Yeah,sorry,kid, it's an urban myth." "Wastedallmy timeonthis !" "it's an urban myth." "Wastedallmy timeonthis !" "Why?" "!" "Why?" "!" "Wastedallmy timeonthis !" "Why?" "!" "Why?" "!" "So dumb!" "Why?" "!" "Why?" "!" "Why?" "!" "So dumb!" "Why?" "!" "(continues shouting)" "So dumb!" "Why?" "!" "(continues shouting) Why?" "!" "(continues shouting) Why?" "!" "Shouldwe...?" "Why?" "!" "Shouldwe...?" "Nah,youjustgotta" "Shouldwe...?" "Nah,youjustgotta wait it out." "Nah,youjustgotta wait it out." "Sodumb!" "Whocares?" "!" "wait it out." "Sodumb!" "Whocares?" "!" "Oh,poorDegbert." "Sodumb!" "Whocares?" "!" "Oh,poorDegbert." "(sighs)" "Oh,poorDegbert." "(sighs) So, what's your message?" "(sighs) So, what's your message?" "Giving is bad?" "So, what's your message?" "Giving is bad?" "No,givingis wonderful." "Giving is bad?" "No,givingis wonderful." "I just think that we can all" "No,givingis wonderful." "I just think that we can all give better." "I just think that we can all give better." "And there actually is one give better." "And there actually is one single, simple best way to give." "And there actually is one single, simple best way to give." "Whydidn'tyouleadwith  single, simple best way to give." "Whydidn'tyouleadwith  that?" "What is it?" "Whydidn'tyouleadwith  that?" "What is it?" "Well,ifwe-- that?" "What is it?" "Well,ifwe-- Wait,Adam." "Well,ifwe-- Wait,Adam." "Hey, we gotta go to commercial." "Wait,Adam." "Hey, we gotta go to commercial." "Save it for act four." "Hey, we gotta go to commercial." "Save it for act four." "Can you do me a big favor and" "Save it for act four." "Can you do me a big favor and look right in camera and give" "Can you do me a big favor and look right in camera and give me a "We'll be right back?"" "look right in camera and give me a "We'll be right back?" Seriously?" "me a "We'll be right back?" Seriously?" "We'll be right back." "Seriously?" "We'll be right back." "Apparently." "We'll be right back." "Apparently." "Greatjob." "Okay,everybody,listenup." "The way you're giving is wrong." "But don't worry, me and Emily" "The way you're giving is wrong." "But don't worry, me and Emily are gonna tell you how" "But don't worry, me and Emily are gonna tell you how to fix it." "are gonna tell you how to fix it." "Okay,smartguy, to fix it." "Okay,smartguy, what's the big secret?" "Okay,smartguy, what's the big secret?" "What should we give?" "what's the big secret?" "What should we give?" "(baby crying)" "What should we give?" "(baby crying) Simple,theonegiftthat" "(baby crying) Simple,theonegiftthat  costs nothing to ship and that" "Simple,theonegiftthat  costs nothing to ship and that everybody needs." "costs nothing to ship and that everybody needs." "The single most empowering gift everybody needs." "The single most empowering gift ever invented..." "The single most empowering gift ever invented..." "Money." "ever invented..." "Money." "(booing)" "Money." "(booing) Ridiculous." "(booing) Ridiculous." "You'regonnawheelin" "Ridiculous." "You'regonnawheelin an expert, aren't you?" "You'regonnawheelin an expert, aren't you?" "Ooh,yeah,that'sagood  an expert, aren't you?" "Ooh,yeah,that'sagood  idea, yeah, yeah." "Ooh,yeah,that'sagood  idea, yeah, yeah." "Wheel him in, John." "Please welcome Sophal Ear, Associate Professor of Diplomacy" "Associate Professor of Diplomacy and World Affairs at and World Affairs at Occidental College." "So, I'm just trying to explain to all these folks what the most effective form to all these folks what the most effective form of charity giving is." "the most effective form of charity giving is." "Would you mind telling them of charity giving is." "Would you mind telling them what you told me?" "Would you mind telling them what you told me?" "Ifyoureallywannahelp  what you told me?" "Ifyoureallywannahelp  people, if you really wanna make" "Ifyoureallywannahelp  people, if you really wanna make a difference, the best way is to people, if you really wanna make a difference, the best way is to give money directly." "a difference, the best way is to give money directly." "(disappointed chatter) give money directly." "(disappointed chatter) Youcan'tjustgivepoor" "(disappointed chatter) Youcan'tjustgivepoor  people money." "Youcan'tjustgivepoor  people money." "What if they waste it on things people money." "What if they waste it on things they don't need?" "What if they waste it on things they don't need?" "Yeah,orbuyunhealthyfood ?" "they don't need?" "Yeah,orbuyunhealthyfood ?" "Orspendit on alcohol?" "Yeah,orbuyunhealthyfood ?" "Orspendit on alcohol?" "No,thatwayofthinking" "Orspendit on alcohol?" "No,thatwayofthinking is totally misguided." "No,thatwayofthinking is totally misguided." "Lotsofstudiesacrossthe is totally misguided." "Lotsofstudiesacrossthe board have shown that money" "Lotsofstudiesacrossthe board have shown that money allows people to buy the things board have shown that money allows people to buy the things they need and helps local allows people to buy the things they need and helps local economies." "they need and helps local economies." "People do spend money on selfish economies." "People do spend money on selfish things, but usually those" "People do spend money on selfish things, but usually those selfish things make them better things, but usually those selfish things make them better off, and it could be things selfish things make them better off, and it could be things like, uh, their business or" "off, and it could be things like, uh, their business or their, uh, children's education like, uh, their business or their, uh, children's education or their health care." "their, uh, children's education or their health care." "It'slike,giveamana fish,  or their health care." "It'slike,giveamana fish,  he eats for a day." "It'slike,giveamana fish,  he eats for a day." "Teach a man to fish and he eats he eats for a day." "Teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime." "Teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime." "But give a man cash, for a lifetime." "But give a man cash, and he can buy some apples." "But give a man cash, and he can buy some apples." "He can take a cooking class." "and he can buy some apples." "He can take a cooking class." "I don't know, maybe he doesn't" "He can take a cooking class." "I don't know, maybe he doesn't like fish." "I don't know, maybe he doesn't like fish." "Who are you to tell him like fish." "Who are you to tell him what to eat?" "Who are you to tell him what to eat?" "Letmegetthisstraight, what to eat?" "Letmegetthisstraight, egghead." "Letmegetthisstraight, egghead." "Instead of donating canned food, egghead." "Instead of donating canned food, we should do what?" "Instead of donating canned food, we should do what?" "(baby crying) we should do what?" "(baby crying) Maybegivemoneytoyour" "(baby crying) Maybegivemoneytoyour  local food bank." "Maybegivemoneytoyour  local food bank." "Okay,butwhatdowedo  local food bank." "Okay,butwhatdowedo  instead of donating clothes" "Okay,butwhatdowedo  instead of donating clothes to Africa?" "instead of donating clothes to Africa?" "Youcoulddonatetoa direct to Africa?" "Youcoulddonatetoa direct giving organization." "Youcoulddonatetoa direct giving organization." "There are lots of them." "giving organization." "There are lots of them." "You can search for them online." "There are lots of them." "You can search for them online." "Andwhatarewesupposed" "You can search for them online." "Andwhatarewesupposed to do instead of buying" "Andwhatarewesupposed to do instead of buying engagement rings?" "to do instead of buying engagement rings?" "Youcouldtakethe money engagement rings?" "Youcouldtakethe money and put it into a retirement" "Youcouldtakethe money and put it into a retirement account... if your fiancée's and put it into a retirement account... if your fiancée's good with that." "account... if your fiancée's good with that." "Mm,she'snot--justget good with that." "Mm,she'snot--justget a sapphire, it's cheaper," "Mm,she'snot--justget a sapphire, it's cheaper, more ethical, I get a ring." "a sapphire, it's cheaper, more ethical, I get a ring." "Yougotit ,babe." "more ethical, I get a ring." "Yougotit ,babe." "So,whatyou'resaying" "Yougotit ,babe." "So,whatyou'resaying is this wonderful" "So,whatyou'resaying is this wonderful community event... is this wonderful community event..." "is a complete waste of time." "community event..." "is a complete waste of time." "What we should really do is shut is a complete waste of time." "What we should really do is shut it down and write a check." "What we should really do is shut it down and write a check." "(baby crying) it down and write a check." "(baby crying) Yeah,thatwouldbethe" "(baby crying) Yeah,thatwouldbethe rational thing to do." "Yeah,thatwouldbethe rational thing to do." "(baby crying) rational thing to do." "(baby crying) (all shouting)" "(baby crying) (all shouting) What?" "!" "Whatareyou ," "(all shouting) What?" "!" "Whatareyou , what are you doing?" "!" "What?" "!" "Whatareyou , what are you doing?" "!" "Ah, oh, guh-- oh, they did what are you doing?" "!" "Ah, oh, guh-- oh, they did not take that well." "Ah, oh, guh-- oh, they did not take that well." "Well,youcanbepretty not take that well." "Well,youcanbepretty abrasive, Adam." "Well,youcanbepretty abrasive, Adam." "Thanks,Sophal." "abrasive, Adam." "Thanks,Sophal." "Gosh, sheesh..." "Thanks,Sophal." "Gosh, sheesh..." "Thankyou,bye." "Gosh, sheesh..." "Thankyou,bye." "Bye." "Thankyou,bye." "Bye." "Hey,Adam,uh ..." "Bye." "Hey,Adam,uh ..." "if it makes you feel any better," "Hey,Adam,uh ..." "if it makes you feel any better, I actually did learn something." "if it makes you feel any better, I actually did learn something." "Wait,really?" "I actually did learn something." "Wait,really?" "Yeah,itwaspretty" "Wait,really?" "Yeah,itwaspretty interesting." "Yeah,itwaspretty interesting." "W...well,youknow,inthat interesting." "W...well,youknow,inthat case, I just read this article" "W...well,youknow,inthat case, I just read this article-- Notaninvitationfor more." "case, I just read this article-- Notaninvitationfor more." "It's time to go." "Notaninvitationfor more." "It's time to go." "You'reright." "It's time to go." "You'reright." "I'm afraid I'm needed elsewhere." "You'reright." "I'm afraid I'm needed elsewhere." "♪" "I'm afraid I'm needed elsewhere." "♪ (bird screeching)" "♪ (bird screeching) Oh, I don't fly," "(bird screeching) Oh, I don't fly, I ride a folding bike." "Oh, I don't fly, I ride a folding bike." "It's much more efficient." "I ride a folding bike." "It's much more efficient." "(chuckling)" "It's much more efficient." "(chuckling) (bike bell dings)" "(chuckling) (bike bell dings) Join me this season on" "(bike bell dings) Join me this season on "Adam Ruins Everything,"" "Join me this season on "Adam Ruins Everything," when I'll be talking about how" ""Adam Ruins Everything," when I'll be talking about how vitamins aren't good for you, when I'll be talking about how vitamins aren't good for you, how your purebred puppy's vitamins aren't good for you, how your purebred puppy's a genetic monster and about" "how your purebred puppy's a genetic monster and about how nothing we can do will a genetic monster and about how nothing we can do will stop climate change." "how nothing we can do will stop climate change." "♪ stop climate change." "♪ Whohurtthatguy ?" "♪ Whohurtthatguy ?" "♪" "Mmm." "Mm, you know, um, it's been proven that GMOs are no more harmful for you than proven that GMOs are no more harmful for you than conventional produce." "harmful for you than conventional produce." "You don't really need to worry conventional produce." "You don't really need to worry about it." "You don't really need to worry about it." "(slurping) about it." "(slurping) Mmm." "(slurping) Mmm." "Oh, you know what you should" "Mmm." "Oh, you know what you should worry about, though," "Oh, you know what you should worry about, though, is pesticide residue." "worry about, though, is pesticide residue." "The residue, it's like on apples is pesticide residue." "The residue, it's like on apples and things you buy..." "The residue, it's like on apples and things you buy..." "uh, from the..." "Well, I don't know, I thought it was interesting." "it was interesting." "Mmm." "Mmm." "(gulps)"