"Hey, Jemma." "It's me again." "Boats leave every 20 minutes, so no sweat." "I'll see you again!" "Shit." "All right." "Jemma, hey." "Hello." "The boat ride, Ray." "I can barely hear you." "Hold on." "Hello?" "Hold on." "Okay, can you hear me now?" "Hello?" "Jemma?" "Did you hear anything I said?" "Are you here somewhere?" "No, I'm at home." "What, did you get sick?" "I'm fine." "It's just now I have to say it all again." "I'm not saying it's you." "Maybe, it's my fault." "Maybe it's..." " Maybe it's nobody's fault." " What are you talking about?" "The boat ride, Ray." "I don't know if I'm gonna make it." "Forget about the boat ride." "We'll do something else." "It's not just about the boat." "Why don't I come over and we'll talk about it?" "I don't want you to come over." "Okay." "Is this because I brought up the money?" "I think we need a break, Ray." "I'll call you later, okay?" "I said no to Jessica so I could say yes to Jemma." " Ray." " Am I too late?" "No, I just thought you had plans with the new blond." "I had the wrong weekend." "Yeah." "It's next weekend." "But when Jemma said no to me  dinner with my family sounded pretty good." "I'd forgotten, Lotte, how much you like to chew on those chicken bones." "Good for health." "Well, all delicious, Jess." "Top-notch." "Special food for a special family." "Lazy family." "Ronnie is very lazy." " That's not true." " Is true." " Not true." " Is true." "Ronnie is right here." "There's no need to speak about him in the third person." "See, Ronnie wasn't on the barbecue because he was working in his office because he keeps finding his papers out of order on his desk." "Maybe Natasha keeps messing them up." "In marriage, everything fifty-fifty." "No secrets." "What would you know?" "You've been divorced 30 years." "May I have the potatoes, please?" "Is he lisping?" "Did you pierce your tongue?" " No, it's a prosthetic." " What did he say?" "He said it's a prosthetic." "It's a joke." "It is a form of self-expression." " It's fine." "I looked it up on the Internet." " Not if it gets infected." "Oh, just leave it right there when you're done." " Did you need anything else?" " Nope." "I'm not doing this because she told me to." "I'm doing this because I choose to." "I didn't say anything, Ron." "You know, I'm not in the doghouse, Ray." "No, I'm in my house." "Not my parent's old house, not a tent but my home that I bought with my very own grown-up money." "So I'll do the dishes if I please." "Yeah." "Yeah." "Is that why you think you got her?" " What are you talking about?" " My wife." "My ex-wife." "You think that's why she left me for you?" "Because of the money?" " What kind of douchebag are you?" " I didn't mean anything by it, Ron." "I just..." "How did you get the girl?" "How did a guy like you get the girl from a guy like me?" "It just..." " Why don't you go home, Ray?" " I'm not trying to pick a fight, Ron." "I just..." "You gotta admit it's a little unusual, that's all." "Get out of my house." "Ronnie, what's going on?" " Nothing." " Ray." "I was just leaving." "Bye." "What did he say?" "You look like you've been here for hours." " Wanna play a little one-on-one?" " I'm uncoordinated, Ray." " Isn't there someone else you can play with?" " Like who?" "A lot of guys don't hang around with other guys much." " Why not?" " I just spent half my life married with kids." "I don't see you loaded up with friends either." "So what, you called me here to play basketball?" "No, I need some women advice." "What kind of women advice?" "Just general." "Okay, it's Jemma." "You are unbelievable." "You have some fucking nerve!" "God." "All right." "What did she do?" "She's being weird." "I can't figure it out." "Ray, you know, I have no ideas about that whatsoever." "All right, you know what?" "This is going in The Detroit Examiner." " This." " Another smiley face?" "Yeah." "Yeah, except this one has a phone number, okay?" "You were right." "No more subliminal advertising." "But, Ray, we have to decide are we gonna run this ad or are we gonna rip it up?" "Why would we rip it up?" "I am clawing my way through this writer's block." "I'm probably in a positive relationship." "And I would like to be taken seriously." " I take you seriously." " No, you don't." "No you don't." "Ray, I put a lot of effort into being your pimp." "And I just feel like if you can't respect my part of running this business then I'm just gonna go back to making Lyric Bread." "So are you ready to work your ass off and be part of my winning team?" "Happiness Consultants." "May I help you?" "Hi, could you tell me more about what it is you do?" "Oh, sure." "Well, this is probably fodder for a longer conversation but in a word, we have a service to make women like yourself feel better." "More happy, if you will." "Could you explain further, please?" "Well, it's delicate." "Perhaps we should meet in person." "Why should I take time to meet you  when I don't even know what you're selling, T-Brain?" "Did you just say T-Brain?" "Yeah, I did." "Lenore, what are you doing calling my ad?" "I was curious." "Now I know." " FYI, your pitch needs work." " What?" "I didn't ask you, Lenore." "Well, it's weird." "Why would you put a sex ad in the Lifestyle section when it should be with the sex ads?" " I don't think the sex ads are classy." "Look, T-Brain, this is your problem:" "You overthink." "If people want sex, they'll look in the sex ads." "It's pimp 101." "Lenore, I have a complex marketing strategy." "Fuck your marketing strategy." " You're a beginner." "Recruit people you know." " I already do that." "No, you don't, or I would've heard about it." "What about Horny Patty?" "You could sign her up in a heartbeat." " Who?" " Horny Patty." "Wagner  Finch." "You mean Patty the proofreader?" "Yeah, she's the horniest woman I've ever met." "Doing it right at her desk." "No, she was not, Lenore." "She was concentrating." "Yeah, concentrating on getting fucked." "Listen, T-Brain, even losers need to get laid once in a while." "You'd be doing her a favor." "I see her in the mall all the time and she still looks so horny." "What does that mean, Lenore?" ""Looks so horny."" "Do you know I hate the way you talk?" "You're so judgmental." "Lenore, why don't you focus on your business and I will focus on mine?" ""Dear Jemma."" "Ray!" " What are you doing here?" "The kids okay?" " Lf you think I married Ronnie for money and would've stayed with you even if you had money you are out of your fucking mind!" "All I did was ask for his advice." "It had nothing to do with you." "I chose him, Ray." "I chose him over you." "Just keep your voice down." "I got neighbors." "What are you so mad about?" "Because I talked to him?" "You are putting ideas into his head." "You're trying to sabotage my marriage." "I just wanted to know how he got you." "The idea to ask him just popped in my head." "Okay." "Next time something pops into your head ask me, Ray." "I divorced a boy to marry a man." "Do you remember Lenore, Patty?" "Yeah." "She's kind of a bitch." "Yeah, probably, but, you know, she had this talent for figuring out what people want and how to give it to them." "What do you mean?" "Well it's kind of secret." "It's really not appropriate for the workplace but I'll share." "Lenore has a service for women who feel alone to help them feel less alone." "What are you talking about?" "It's a service for women." " Here you go." " Thanks a lot." "You ready?" "I need to see you out in the hall." "Sure." "Right away." "There are times when I find myself fighting these urges that rise in me and I desperately want a man." "This service helps satisfy that urge." "I know, it sounds shocking." "But you wouldn't believe how good it is." "Are you saying that you've tried it?" "I shouldn't say." "We're work colleagues, after all." "Twice." "I went to SeaWorld in Florida last month by myself." "It was a lot of fun." "I had a free weekend, you know, so I treated myself." "I flew JetBlue." "That sounds nice." "No, it doesn't." "It sounds pathetic and lame." "But that's, you know..." "That's what I like." "I like zoos and SeaWorld." "I'm really into animals." "I love animal stories, you know, and..." "You ever watch those old Wild Kingdom videos on YouTube?" "I love them." "They're so..." "You know, because they're so unintentionally hilarious." "Plus the animals are so great." "You know what else I love?" " This." " What?" "I love that normally that I come home from dates and I'm..." "You know, I feel so..." "I just..." "I'm so uptight and I feel like I just..." "I said the wrong thing or that I looked like an idiot." "But, you know, now I'm totally relaxed." "Because even if I sound like a birdbrain you're gonna lie and you're gonna say it's fine." "Right?" "Aren't you gonna lie and you're gonna say it's fine?" "Kind of." "Oh, it's fantastic." " I'm having a good time." " Good." "Let's fuck." "That's something else I never say." "God, it sounds so great." "Shit, you could say it again if you want to." "Okay." "Let's fuck." "Let's fuck." "Let's fuck." "Let's fuck." "Let's fuck." "Let's fuck." "Let's fuck." "Let's fuck." "Let's fuck." "Let's fuck." "Let's fuck." "You wanna?" "Screwing Patty was easy." "Fucking isn't hard." "It's the mind-fucking you've gotta watch out for." "She came, and then it came to me:" "I had to be completely honest." "I had to say everything." "Jemma." "Hey." "Hi." "Hey." " Hi." " What are you doing here?" "I wanted to see you." " Well, I'm working." " I know." "I just wanted to give you this." "It's a letter." "It's from my heart." "Fuck your heart." " What?" " Fuck your heart." "I don't understand." "What don't you understand, Ray?" "I said fuck your heart." "I paid in full." "Paid in full." " Don't call me again." " Jemma." "Hey, hey, hey." "Wait." "Why are you doing this?" "You said you wanted to think about it." "Well, I've thought about it." "Jemma we had something." "Listen, in the tent, in your eyes, I know what I saw." "And what do you see now, Ray?" "In my eyes, what do you see now?" "Please." "I gotta go." "Hey." "Hey." "You know what?" "You will never know what's in my heart." "Here, come here, I wanna show you something." "Hey, do you have any Red Bull?" "I can't keep my eyes open." "I don't have any Red Bull, but I do know how to get you up." "Do you realize that you literally only have vegetables in here?" "Well, that's because I'm trying to be a vegetarian." "I was a vegetarian once." "And then I realized that if fish was good enough for Jesus it's good enough for Pierce." " What did you wanna show me?" " I wanted..." "My bed." ""I can tell it's you by the touch of your hair."" "I'm gonna think about that all the way home." "You're not sleeping here tonight?" "I can't." "I'm sorry." "I told my dad that I'd wake up early and help him patch his driveway." "Pierce, this is weird." "I know next to nothing about you." "Listen, tomorrow, you ask me whatever you want, okay?" "Hey." "Hey, man." "Hey." "Hey, didn't you used to be Ray Drecker?" "I'm back in town, man." "It's Cliff." "I fucking hate you, Drecker." "I've hated you since 1981." "Me too." "Tonight's not your night, Drecker." "It's my night." "My night, asshole." "Yeah, tonight I get my revenge." "Fuck you." "Contact." "You were a freshman, I was a senior." "You're not supposed to hit a home run off me." "Fuck you." "Contact." "It was the bottom of the last inning up two, two on, two outs." "Fuck you." "Contact." "You know, I should've walked you, but I wanted to strike your ass out." "I should've thrown a ball at your fucking head." "Fuck you." "Contact." "You know I loved you, man in a fucked up kind of a way." "But I followed you." "I followed every game you ever played." "Hey, fuck you." "Contact." "I came inside because I didn't wanna wait in the rain." "Ray I'm sorry about Jemma." "She wanted to hurt you and she was willing to pay for it." "I didn't know until tonight." "I swear on my mother's lack of love I had no idea." "I didn't know until she paid me." "She said it wasn't about you." "She wanted to break up with someone who cared the way that it had always been done to her with no explanation, no warning." "She actually said you made her happy." "How much did she pay you?" "Two thousand." "Put the money on the table." "Ray, I never liked her." "I could..." "I could smell it." "It just..." "She..." "You deserve better." "Believe me." "You wanna have a beer with me?" "You're the only friend I've got, you know that?" "No." "Ray." "No, wait." "No, we've gotta get you out of these wet clothes." "Come here." "Come here." "Come on, get up." "Get up." "Really, it's freezing." "Here, just put..." "Put your arms up." "Okay." "Do you have any clean clothes?" "Where are...?" "Where are your clean clothes?" "Here." "Put..." "Put..." "Okay, here, put this on." "Put your arms up." "Arms up." "Here you go." "Okay." "Stop it." "Ray..." "No, lie down." "Why do men only wanna sleep with me when they're drunk?" "Here, scoot." "Come on, scoot in." "Okay." "There, is that good?" "Can I ask you something, Ray?" "How come you never called me after that first night?" "I mean, other than you think that I come too much." "I think you come perfect." "I..." "I think you come just right." "Thanks." "Good night, Ray."