"THE DREAM AND THE SILENCE" ""Never do anything like that again in front of me"." "threatened Trud." "He took the sign on the bars." "looked inside the cage again." "which was completely silent." "and went home again through the park in complete darkness." "He'd gone down..." "He'd left his book on the bench."" "You see?" "The youngest monkey is the one that wants to escape the most." "I thought it was this one." "We haven't read that part yet." "That comes later." ""When he got home..."" ".This outfit?" ".No." "You're not even looking, CeIia." "Yes." "I am." "I said no." "Good lord!" ".This one?" ".Neither." "You need a down jacket." ".I want one like paula's." ".They don't have it here." ".Not one like paula's." ".Why not?" "Open your mind and look around." ".They're ugly." ".No, they're not." "Try them on." "Try one on and see how it looks." "Your heart is set on paula's." "you're being a pain." "It's twice as cool as all these together." "well, you're not getting paula's." "Don't even bother looking." "They're ugly and they're too puffy." "They make you look like a snowball." "Nobody wears a down jacket to look cool." "That one is awful." "The opposite." "The opposite." "Okay, here we go." "Let's start." "I'II ask the first question." "In Spanish, please." "Or raise your hand and ask in French." ".Is it small?" ".No." "Okay." "Is it small?" "No." "Who's next?" "Is it tall?" "Yes." "It's tail." "Okay." "small and taII." "More." "Is it short?" "No." "It's tail." "What did you ask?" "Is it short?" ".No, fat or..." ".Is it fat?" "It's thin." "Good." "What else?" "Is it an actor?" "It's an actress." "Yes." "It's an actress." "An actress, okay." "An actress, what else?" "Let's summarize." "An actress." "taII." "thin..." "We're at home." "it's nighttime and we see animals coming out." ".Okay. .TaIking animals?" ".That's up to you." ".I don't know." ".Okay. .They can talk." "And... when we see the animals coming out." "we see the kitten comes out last and wants to show us something." ".Fine. .Okay." "And..." "I don't know." "That's all, they talk." "Okay." "Do they have powers?" "No, better without." ".Just animals." ".NormaI but spies." ".Yeah. .Okay." "We should pick a few of them." "Two giraffes, two cats, two dogs." "No." "I mean we can pick three or four." "We can pick the cat. the dog." "the rabbit or the lion." ".AII of them." ".AII of them?" "Yes." ".And one would be the cat." ".Okay." "The cat wants to tell us something." "Let's go see." "Let's go." "You see the animals?" "How cool." "Sometimes it isn't easy to reinvent things." "But it's pretty easy in general." ".Easy?" ".Yeah." "I find myself doing things my mom used to do and I prepare dishes I didn't like when I was a kid" "and now I make lentils every week." ".For revenge?" ".No. because I Iove them now." "And the girls do too." ".For their nutritional value." ".That's right." "No kid any where likes lentils." ".No. mine do." ".They're awful." "No. that depends." "Come over for lunch sometime." "No." "I Iike them." "But a child isn't aware of nutritional value." "But they're good." "If you make them right." "With a little chorizo." "They're not the same without chorizo." "With Iardons." "We make them with Iardons here." "If you take care of the presentation... .How?" ".The presentation." "well." "lentils..." "I don't know howto present them..." "Me neither." "PIease. tell." "Not like in a school cafeteria' they throw it on the plate." "And it splatters." ".Have a good week." ".Thanks. Goodbye." ".Hi. Everything okay?" ".Yes." "I'II be right with you." "I'm preparing a class." "Wait." "Let's see what he's prepared." "What?" ".Let's see what he's prepared." ".Yeah." "We've talked about it a Iot." "I'II always remember it." "I'II always remember howyou were born." "Without the typical scream' without screaming your lungs out." "You were born swimming." "You were like this." "You looked completely calm." "After that they picked you up and when you were ready you started crying." "But after 30 seconds of magic." "well,magic..." "If I'd seen you' I'd have told them to slap you." ".No,no." ".Shejust sat there." "No." "It was peaceful." "Because this one came out screaming." ""What lungs!"." "I said." "And the other..." "That's whyyou're such a good swimmer." "It looked like you were swimming." "Not you." "You came out,"Waaa!"" "I'II park the car and be right in." "Park the car?" "Okay." "Hi,sweetie." "Here,come in." "Come in,sweetie." "I couldn't wait to see you." "I couldn't wait to see you' my princess." "Even if it's onIyyou." "One is better than none." "Want to play cards?" "I was playing to pass the time." "Do you know how?" "You know' this one might be poisonous." "Water comes out when you pluck it." "And this flower?" "It might be poisonous' my hand is sticky." "Does this flower prick?" "No,that one doesn't." "Don't be so scared." "You're being a sissy,honey." "Like this,see?" "Knowwhat we can play with this?" "You've never played "He loves me,he loves me not?"" ".That's with daisies." ".This one will do." "It has a Iot." "It has leaves." "You can play "He loves me', with it." "Because it has leaves." "Look at that baby pine tree." "When you come back in ten years' it will be bigger." "Did you see the different sizes?" "It's very interesting to see." "Look at all the sizes." "small, medium..." "This trunk has a Iot of kids!" "Come on, sweetie." "There aren't manyfIies' but they're sticky." "They stick to your face." "Come on, hurry up." "We still have a way to go." "Do you Iike this smell?" "It doesn't smell like anything." "Things are dry this time of year." "It hasn't rained in ages and everything is dry." "If it rained a IittIe' it wouId turn green." "But it hasn't rained." "So it's not green." "I've seen it very green." "But right now it's dry." "That part is green." "It's this color when it doesn't rain." "Come on, sweetie." "Keep going." "Watch out for that rock." "You almost tripped on that rock." "No, not that one." ".Take that one." ".Let me see." "This one is good." "Not this one." "It's burned on one side." "Don't be long, Jaume." "Say goodbye." "You know me." "You're not going to discover me now." "Have you gone to see ManeI about the wood?" ".No, but I will." ".Oh, you will..." "We're about to leave and the wood has to last all winter." "I'II do it, don't worry." "No..." "I'm not worried, but..." "I knowyou'II do it' but we might miss him." "Miss him?" "He lives nearby." "I'II go in a second." ".You have to go, Jaume." ".I will." "You have to do it." "I'm not going to talk to ManeI." "I don't want you to." "I'II go." "I know, but get a move on." "Between your painting, your books and your computer..." "Okay." "It's your life, but..." "That's right." "It's my Iife." "I'm a little angry." "The kids are coming' you could spend time with them." "Listen, stop bothering me." "I knowyou don't like being bothered." "But I'm not happy." "well." "I'm sorry." "When they get here' you can go for a walk with them." "Okay, honey?" "Go on." "I'II go see if they're here." "They should be here soon." "You're already suffering." "Wait a second." "I Iike stopping to do things I Iike." "Sure, and I don't..." "What you Iike is never stopping." "They won't be long." "I'm going to clean up." "Good lord, this man, this man..." "What am I going to do with him?" "Daddy?" "And your pills?" "Daddy?" ".I'm coming." ".She's calling you." "CeIia, we have a nicer tablecloth." "What?" "We have a nicer tablecloth." "Here." "I'II give you a nicer one." "Great, really." "They couldn't wait to see her." "And her coming alone makes it even more fun' you know?" "They get more time with her." "How about you?" "How are things with alba?" "I'II call you later." "Yeah." "I'II call you at dinnertime." "will you be home?" "tell alba..." ".Want to go to the bathroom?" ".No, do you?" "Want some water?" "Water?" "No, but I don't knowwhere to throw my gum away." "There's a wastebasket over there." "Come here." "Jaume." "shall I close the door?" "close the door, Mom." "Don't close it." "You want to go outside?" "Let them in." "I can't tell them not to come in." "I can't tell them not to come in." "Don't worry, nobody will come in." "You want some lime tea?" "You don't want anything?" ".No, thank you." ".HerbaI tea?" "I'II be okay." "Did you tell Laura to stay outside with alba?" "Did she leave?" "I'II be fine later, but now..." "Anyway..." "Her mother doesn't want her to go in." "Does she want to?" "No, she doesn't want to either." "She'II be okay." "I want one too, Jaume." "will you get me one?" "I always keep one." "What a prettyfIower." "hold on to that one." "You can hang it and dry it out." "And keep it your whole life." "You hang it like this." "Okay, sweetie?" "I hope Grandpa brings me one too." "You can hang it upside down so it dries out and you keep it." "Okay?" ".We could never have imagined." ".No." "We'II keep it, that's what we'II do." "It's all we'II have, Jaume." "It's all we'II have." ".You like how it turned out?" ".Yes." "Like this, or this one?" "You try." "I'm going for a walk." "I'II stop by the hotel and get that for you." "That way tomorrow, when you go out' if you need to talk to the receptionist you'II have already learned." "Learned what?" "To say, "Good morning' I want to have breakfast."" "I already know howto say "good morning', and "good evening."" "With that, you're halfway there." "I want more than that." "I want to go shopping and to the park and know what the girls are talking about." "AII right?" "And OrioI?" "What's he doing?" "Working, he works tomorrow." "When are you going back to work?" "I don't know, Mom." "Soon." "I think." "Soon." "Just a little longer." "Is alba at your school or have you changed her?" "No, no." "We don't see each other' because she's in elementary, but..." "But she's at the same school." "Convenient, right?" ".Are you happy at school?" ".Yes." "Look, this part isn't difficuIt' but you have to remember." "If you fold this one in' this one comes out." "You see?" "Yes." "Like this?" "Yes." "No, this goes inside." "To hold it together, see?" "Inside." "And nowthat one comes out." "Does that one work?" "I think it's empty." "Are there any more?" "I think so, go and see." "I'II go see if there's more." "We've always tried to... to... to solve problems by talking about them." "And..." "If we keep doing this' you can't move on and neither can I." "We never find the right moment." "You never feel like it." "could you go away?" "please, OrioI." "This is as good a time as any to..." "No." "Every day one of her classmates sits in her seat." "And they do it spontaneously." "We don't do that at home." "Excuse me?" "At home we don't do that." "You don't do what?" "There's a void." "I don't know if..." "I'm sorry." "How am I supposed to come back to work?" "How's OrioI?" "In his world." "In his world." "I don't know." ".What's happening in his world?" ".No idea." ".Has he recovered from his injuries?" ".Yes." "Is he back?" ".Is he at home with you?" ".Yes." "He's doing okay." "He has no problems." "He's forgotten everything." "What has he forgotten?" "He doesn't remember his daughter." "CeIia." "It's like... it makes it harder for me because it's like she..." "like she wasn't a part of the family." "He doesn't..." "I don't understand." "It's hard." "He doesn't remember the accident." "He has no memory of CeIia." "It's driving me crazy." "It's okayfor him." "It's his life." "It's his whole family." "His job." ".He's gone back to work?" ".Yes." "He's fine." "What does he make of his injuries if he doesn't remember the accident?" "We told him what happened." "I try to put myself in his place." "Imagine waking up one day in that state." "You're told you had an accident." "Do you hold it against him?" "Yes." "For having the accident or for forgetting?" "I don't know." "We don't speak very much." "What's your routine like?" "I pretend nothing's wrong." "especially around AIba' so she won't be sad." "Around OrioI as weII' so he won't be sad." "Does he understand your grief?" "I imagine." "I hope so." "I don't know." "Yes." "Yes." "I hope." "I guess." "You think something like that can be shared?" "He woke up, so to speak." "He moved." "He's not in the mood." "He's old." "Where are the others?" "That one's mocking the other one." "He's old, that's all." "The other one wants to play." "He's tired." "He's tired of playing along." "Look how he's looking at him." "And this one climbed this tree." ".He looks very relaxed." ".Yeah. Hejust climbed up." "It looks like he wanted to move a bit' but he wants nothing to do with the other one." "There's one over there." ".That's the oldest one." ".Yes." "He looks like the oldest one." "I'd even say he's the grandfather." "Let's see if there are more monkeys." "I want to see chimpanzees." "help her change clothes as well." "You know." "like it's a game." "We all change clothes together." "What about something more fun?" "Besides changing clothes." "How about a movie?" "How about a movie?" "How about a movie." "I said." "A movie..." "You mean a movie for us?" "No, we could go with alba." "No?" "I prefer seeing movies here at home' you knowthat." "Or your mom can babysit and you and I can go." "Maybe." "Going to a family movie..." "We'd rather stay at home together." "But she misses out." "She needs to get out too." ".Whatever you want." ".No?" "The four of us could go." "We could invite one of her friends." ".No. .No?" ".I preferjust the four of us." ".Okay." "It would get my mother out of the house." "Then let's go out' but it doesn't have to be a movie." "Propose something." "Give me time to look into it." "There are some very interesting activites for children." "I'm sure we'II find something in one of these." "I'II look at it later." "I made one for you." "One second." "Go ahead." "It's very good' but it needs a little more light." "Yes." "I would add a little... color in here, some shade." "But it's very good." ".Shade?" ".Yes." "Let me see." "With the opposite color, see?" "A little shade." "This color is the opposite of yellow." "And this color is the opposite of red." "I never sit there." ".Not even to bring order?" ".Never." "I can't see anyone from there." ".This chair is too low." ".I don't like it." ".You don't like it?" ".Never." "It's the sturdiest chair in the school." ".I don't sit on it." ".Even to bring order?" "No." "Here." "In any case..." "Higher." "Do you want to be here?" "I have to do it." "That's it." "It's something I have to do." "Otherwise..." "Otherwise I can't move on." "You hear that noise?" ".One of the kids." ".No." "A teacher walking back and forth." "What are you doing today?" "Are you finished?" "I'm finished." "I was waiting for you." "Thanks." "Don't mention it." ".AII alone." ".Yeah." "I was waiting for you." "AII excited." "Me too." ".It's hard." ".I can imagine." "Jesus Christ." "You might be right." "We should stop doing this." "The photos can go straight to fucking hell." "I'II do it if you want' if it makes you feel better." "That's not the point, OrioI' for God's sake." "Who said looking at the photos would help?" "I don't know..." "Some people go to faith healers and they believe." "That's enough for them." "I don't know." "Force it..." "I don't know, somehow." "You just seem so laid back." "The doctors say it will come back the way it left." "It's not therapy." "people made up that part about looking at the photos' but it's not a type of therapy." "Then what do we do?" "Just let time pass?" "Yes, but caImIy' without forcing it." "calmly, without forcing it." "Great." "Okay then." "We'II stay calm and not force it." "Our whole lives." "I don't know..." "Even if you have to make an effort' at Ieast you get back... the routine." "You think I can get that back with you?" "Are you helping?" "Or do you make me..." "Your routine before." "I was gone most of the day, so it's not Iike..." "You have your..." "I think you know down deep that you can go back to schooI' where you'II have more moments of..." "Moments of glory." "That's what I need, moments of glory." "You need to get out of the house." "You have no idea." "You have no idea." "Get some air." "The yellow one is good." "If you don't want it, save it for me." "Which color do you Iike?" "I Iike the pink ones." "I'II save them for you." ".Leave them for the end, okay?" ".Okay." "I'II save you the pink ones and you save me the yellow ones." "Okay." "Very tasty." "I grabbed it and went like this:" "I threw it, my sister ducked and the windowwent "crack."" "And suddenly we hated each other and wanted to kill each other." "We stood there a second and then we hugged each other and were friends and sisters again." "And I said, "What will we tell Mom?"" ""We can tell her you threw it at me..."" "I don't knowwhat excuse we came up with' but we didn't dare come out of the bedroom." "And when we came out, "Mom?" "What?"" ""Something happened in the bedroom." "What?" "', But we were too scared." "We were ready to kill each other, but..." "Nothing happened." "We made up some story' I don't remember what." "That one of us had tried to pass it to the other and threw it too hard and the window broke." "My motherjust stared at us like..." "I remember that day very well." "We had a Iot offun together." "We played all the time." "With dolls, with Nancy... .She still exists." ".Remember Nancy?" "She was chubby, not Iike nowadays' they make Barbies..." "We had Barbie and Lucas." ".Lucas?" ".Her boyfriend." "That's Ken." "Ken?" "Then who is Lucas?" "No, not Barbie..." "We had Nancy and Lucas." "Lucas had dark hair and we had a blonde Barbie with long hair and a black one with hair like this." "We played with them a ton." "And we'd play in the street." "There was a huge sidewalk outside my building and all the kids would come down." "My building had three stories." "How many kids were there?" "I don't know." "Eight or nine maybe." "We'd play..." "I don't remember what it was called." "One kid would stand against the wall and another would put his head between his legs like this." "careful, stay still." "And we'd line up in a row with our heads between..." "We were talking." "She asked me what I played when I was little." "I told her about when I used to fight with my sister and what we'd play outside my building." "She rested her head on the chair as she listened." "Then she drew lines on the ground with a rock..." "That game." "I forget what it's called..." "And wejumped and jumped with the rocks." "We had a great time." "She answered you?" "You touched each other?" "Of course." "Am I going crazy?" "Maybe I am." "But I don't care." "It was great fun." "You have to go." "You might see her." "You go." "It's no problem for me." "I'd be happy to." "We were in the pIayground' by the swings." "How do you think I should react?" "You'II recognize her when you see her and she'II see you." "She might be around there." "Promise you'II go?" "I promise." "But are you okay?" ".I'm great." ".You feel all right?" "It was the nicest day I've had in weeks." "She looked beautiful." "well, believe me, for me..." "Okay." "Grandpa, bring alba's suitcase." "You pretty thing." "The prettiest of all." "Pretty and beautiful." "Can you manage?" "Okay." "Did you see what nice plants we have?" ".Yes, they're very pretty." ".You like plants, huh?" "I'm coming up." "It's chilly here." "Very chilly." "Very, very chilly." "This one goes here and alba's goes here." "I'II arrange the red one." "You know he got sick." "He wanted to have an operation to be on the waiting list for a kidney." "You knew about this more or less, right?" "None of us wanted him to." "I'm telling you this so you'II see that life goes on and the grieffades a little." "When he said he wanted an operation we were all against it." "And my nephews said'" ""You talk to him, he'II listen to you."" ""Ramon, don't." "It's too risky..."" ""I don't want to live like this, Laura."" "I've been through drama like this before." ""I don't want to live like this." "I want to be on the waiting list for a kidney and if I manage to pull through'" "I couId still enjoy life a little bit." "AII I ask, Laura' if something happens to me." "look after Nieves." "The boys have their lives and stuff, but as her sister.in.Iaw'" "look after her, don't leave her alone."" "That really hit me." "telling you about it' with everything eIse' with what happened to CeIia' it brings it all back." "But you reach a point where you can talk about it and even talk about it normaIIy' without crying." "That moment will come' even though you think it won't." "And with CeIia it'II be the same." "You'II see." "In a few days, not days, months' we'II be able to talk about her without all the pain we feel right now' without suffering like we are right now." "You don't believe it, but we will." ".We'd better." ".We will, you'II see." ".But you knowthat takes time." ".What?" "You knowthat takes time." ".It'II pass, time will pass." ".Yeah, but..." "That could take months." "Not one day, or two, or four." "It will take many days." "But it will go away." "I'm feeling it too." "obviously a brother isn't the same' I lost my mother' she was old it was the Iaw of nature." "Losing a brother with his whole life before him crushed me and I still am." "talking about it makes me upset at a time like this and it affects me more." "But sometimes I don't think about it and I'm all right." "The same will happen with CeIia." "You'II see." "Everything goes on' unfortunately everything wears off and we have to go through it together." "With OrioI and your mother' the four of us." "We have to take care of each other." "I don't knowwhat to say." "I don't knowwhat to say." "I know all this, Laura." "They're things you can't see coming." ".But you've been through this before." ".What?" ".You've been through this before." ".But it's not the same." "Losing a brother isn't the same as losing a granddaughter." "I don't want to distract you telling you about my brother' but I'mjust saying so you knowthat with time..." "You don't see it?" "This goes over here." "The legs are too short." ".I think it's okay." ".A little weird." ".What's wrong?" ".The legs are too short." "Let me see yours." "It's as pretty as a postcard." "I feel like giving her a hug." "It's very sensual." "look." "A necklace?" "Very nice!" "Good lord." "You need to shine the broach." "Wash it off." "Grandma, those things look IikejeIIy!" ".CouId you do it?" ".Sure." "I was playing with CeIia until they left." "A little before." "I can't stop thinking about it." "But I don't know." "I'II take you if you want, but..." "I need to go there." "It's an absurd place." "I don't know how it could have happened." "I don't understand." "Something stupid." "Can you take me?" "Of course I can." "Whenever you want." "This is where it happened." "I'm exhausted... .Are you going to read?" ".A little." "until I faII asleep." "I'm on an interesting page." "Something crazy happened to me today." "What?" "So things were really tense between us." "I Ieft Morocco, we weren't talking." "It was awful." "After that, things calmed down." "We wrote to each other, we spoke." "Things went back to normal." "It was tense." "It wasn't very positive." "But it was good that it was the Iast time we saw each other." "I didn't know at the time, but I never saw my adoptive father again." "That's right." "It was a big surprise for him too." "I remember when we got out of the taxi with my older brother' my mother heard a car parking." "She came out' she knew he was coming..." "She saw him get out of the taxi and open the trunk..." "It was dark." "It was at night." "It was around 10 PM." "She saw me get out after him..." "My mother was wearing gIasses' she's myopic." "So she was trying to see us in the dark..." "After she said all she could see was a big ball of hair and she didn't knowwho it was." "So that's it." "So I went into my adoptive father's bedroom." "He was Iying on the bed..." "He was ill?" "He's been ill for years." "He was ill without being ill." "It's been years." "I don't know." "16 years." "He was going through a depression." "He was Iying on his bed, sitting up... stretched out..." "My other father, my dad' was sitting on the edge of the bed..." "He was right next to him." "I walked in and they both looked at me." "They all wear glasses." "They all turned and looked at me... .So it was nice?" ".Yes." "I rushed into his arms' then into the other's..." "It was very nice." "From those 48 hours' that's the scene that stays with me." "It's like..." "Together." "Everybody together." "let's go." "How many candles are there?" ".Four. .Ten." ""To go."" "Gone." "Okay?" "We'II learn irregular verbs after." "But the regular endings are:" ""ed', and "led."" "The verb "to study."" "ParticipIe?" ""Studied."" "We take off the "y', and... ."Studed." .No." ""Studied."" ""Studied.', Okay?" "Let's see..." "GuiIIaume." "Past tense of the verb "to study.""