"I got a business to run here." "Back." "Yo, Maurice!" "Jackie!" "Jack!" "How you doing?" "And Miss lovely Amber Waves." " I'm pissed you haven't been around." " We were on vacation." "Don't you stay away that long from my club again." "And not for nothing, honey, but you are the sexiest bitch in the entire county!" " I love you." " You're such a charmer." "I got your booth set up." "I'll send some clams right over." "Jack, I'm ready, I'm available." "Put me in a movie, okay?" "We're talking box office." "Box office!" "Chi-Chi, Jack and Amber's table, take them over an order of clams." "Let's go." "Vamos!" "Okay, how's it going here?" "Baby, me and you, we'll take a picture later on." "I love you." "We were looking for you before." "Where were you?" " I was here." " Seriously, man." "I love you, Beck." "I love you, Beck." " Hey, cowboy!" " That's a cowboy?" "You like it?" "It's nice, right?" " Lf you like it..." " I love it, man, I love it!" "Compliments of Maurice." "Can I get a Margarita, please?" "7-Up." " Hi, Rollergirl." " Hi." " Did you call that girl today?" " I forgot." "After tomorrow, it's the weekend, you'll never be able to see her." " What's the matter down there?" " I got to go pee." "Well, go then." " What's happening?" " I got to pee!" " Hey, Jack." " Little Bill..." " Hi!" " Hi, Amber, how are you?" "How's our schedule?" "We still on for day after tomorrow?" "The day after the day after tomorrow." "Jack, I got to call Rocky, Scotty and Kurt." "I got to call them." "Small crew on this one." "You know what I mean?" " A low-key deal?" " Exactly." "I'm sorry." "Do we have a script?" " How you doing?" " Fine." "How old are you?" " I have a work permit." " No, it's nothing like that." "Working here long?" "A month." " Maurice give you the job?" " Yeah." "You from around here?" "I mean, Canoga?" "Reseda?" "No." "You know where Torrance is?" " How do you get here?" " I take the bus." "What do you want to be?" "Excuse me?" "You take the bus from Torrance to Reseda to do this job." "Can't you get a job like this in Torrance?" "Yeah, but I don't want to." "So..." "You want 5 or 10?" "What?" "If you just want to see me jack off, it's 10." "If you just want to look at it, it's only 5." "Guys pay you to watch you?" "You done it tonight?" "Couple of times." "You can do it again?" "If you want." "If you got 10 bucks." "My name is Jack." "Eddie." "Eddie Adams." " Eddie Adams, from Torrance." " Yep." "Jack Horner, filmmaker." " Really?" " Yeah, I make... adult films." "Exotic pictures." "I know who you are." "I read about you in a magazine." ""Inside Amber", "Amanda's Ride"." "Right?" "Right." "So now you know I'm not full of doggy doo-doo." "Want to come to the table and have a drink?" "I'd love to, but I got to work." "Got to work, get money, pay the rent." "Yeah." "I mean, no." "I need money, but I don't pay rent." "I live at home." "How old are you, Eddie?" "I'm 17." "17 year-old piece of gold." "Yeah, right." "Come on, I got people I'd like you to meet." "I do know who you are." "I'd love to come back for a drink." "Obviously you're not full of..." " Doggy doo-doo." " Yeah." "But I couldn't walk out on Maurice." "I'm sorry." "Yeah." "Beneath those jeans, something wonderful's waiting to get out." " Bye, Maurice." " Good-night." "Listen, thank you." "Love you, mamita." "Take care." "This is the man you let in any time, you understand?" " Fine." " Alright." "Fix you some eggs, beauty?" "No, I'm going to sleep." "Good night." "Good night, honey-tits." " Stay beautiful." " Thanks." "Tom?" "Hi." "Yeah, it's me." "I know that it's late, but..." "Is Andy there?" "I'd like to say hello to my son and that's all." "Let me tell you something, Tom." "I know a lawyer, you understand?" "You might think I don't, but I do, and I'll take you to court!" "Tom, don't." "Come on, Tom, please..." "Please." "What the fuck are you doing?" "What the fuck does it look like I'm doing?" "Can you close the door?" "Will I close the door?" "Will I close the door?" "That's my wife, you asshole!" "Oh, I'm sorry." "Get out." "Go sleep on the couch." "Don't stop, Big Stud!" "That's right." "Jesus, please!" "Shave if you're going to do that." " You scratch my face." " Sorry." "Morning." "How's it at work?" " You get home late?" " Yeah." "You work in a nightclub." "If it means so much to you, you should find one that's closer." "Yeah." "I've got to get to work." "At a carwash." " What?" " You work at a carwash, at a nightclub." "School never occurred to you?" " Bye, Dad." " Bye." "So basically, you're getting twice the bass with the TK 421 on this system right here." "I don't know." "I don't really know if I need all that bass." "I think you need all that bass." "If you want a system to handle what you want, you need the bass." "This is hi-fi." "High fidelity." "That means this is the highest quality fidelity." "Hi-fi." "Two important things to have in a stereo system." "It's the price." "I have this unit in my home." " Really?" " Yes, I do." "But of course it's modified with the TK 421 which kicks it up another" "maybe three or four quads per channel." "But that's technical talk." "That doesn't really concern you." "You're still a little uncertain, aren't you?" "You know what you need?" "You need a test drive." "You need a test drive." "It's one thing to hear it from Buck's mouth, and another thing to hear it from the TK 421." "Let me pop in this 8-track." "You listen and tell me what you think." "Hear that?" "You hear the bass?" "Right?" "You hear?" "It kicks!" "It turns!" "It curls up your belly." "It makes you wanna freaky-deaky." "Now, you see, if you get the system as is, it's not going to sound like this without the TK 421 modification." "We do that in the store right here." "Very small price." "Move with it if you need to." "It helps me." "Thank you for your time." "Okay." "Well, so long, pardner." " What the fuck was that?" " What?" " Have I told you?" " What?" " Have I?" " What are you talking about?" "You put on country-western shit, no one will buy a stereo." "What kind of brother are you, listening to that shit?" " All right, look, Jerry..." " No, you look." "I gave you a job because I thought your acting stuff might bring nice pussy in." "And it has." "But I can't have any more fuck-ups." "You dig?" "Yeah." " You dig?" " Yeah, I dig." "Okay, now get in the back and unload those new 484s." "All right." "Sorry." "Settle down, class." "This is your final." "Keep your test papers face down until I tell you to turn them up." "Clear your tables, please." "There should be nothing on your desk but the test and a pencil." "We're covering chapters 17 through to 28." "Your eyes should stay on your test papers, please." "Are we ready?" "Class, begin." "I love to suck cock." "I love to suck cock." "Honey, are you okay?" "Sweetheart?" "Is something wrong?" "I got to get back." "I need it once more." "I have to go to work." " Come on, give it to me." " Don't make me pounce you." " Oh, baby!" " I'll do it." " You promise?" " That's it." " You want it?" " Yeah." " How bad?" " Bad." " You sure?" " Yeah." "You asked for it!" "God, wait." "Stop." "What?" "Your cock is so beautiful." " Yeah?" " Do you know how good you are at doing it, Eddie?" "Having sex, fucking me, making love to me?" "Everyone has one thing." "Everyone's given one special thing, right?" "That's right." "Everyone's blessed with one special thing." "I want you to know I plan on being a star." "A big bright shining star." "That's what I want, that's what I'm going to get." "I know." "I got to go." "You're lucky." " Hi." " Hi." "You want a ride?" " You want a ride?" " I'm going really far." "Do you remember me from a couple of hours ago?" "Yeah, I remember." "Come with us, sweetie." "This is a really cool car." "What I'm trying to tell you is that it takes a lot of the good old American green stuff to make one of these things, you know what I mean?" "I mean, you've got your camera, you've got your film." "You've got your lights, your sound, your lab costs." "You got your developing, your synching, your editing." "Before you turn around, you've spent 20," "25, 30,000 dollars on a movie." "That's a lot of money." "You bet your ass it is." "But if you make a good one, there's practically no end to how much money you can make." " Have you seen Jack's house?" " No." "He will." "He'll see it." "You got maybe 15, 20 guys standing around just making sure that your lighting is right." "But you can work out in the morning, at noon, at night." "It doesn't matter if you don't have those juices flowing in the Mr. Torpedo area, in the Fun Zone." "But you gotta get the people in the theater." "You need the big dicks, the big tits..." "Here we go." "How do you keep them in the theater after they've come?" "With beauty, and with acting." "I understand you've got to get them in the theater, keep the seats full." "But I don't want to make a film where they sit down, jack off and get up and get out before the story ends." "It is my dream, it is my goal, it is my idea to make a film" "that the story just sucks them in and when they spurt out that joy juice, they just got to sit in it." "They can't move until they find out how the story ends." "You know, I want to make a film like that." "I understand they have to make films, I've made them myself, that are a few laughs, everybody fucks their brains out, and that's fine." "But it's my dream to make a film" "that is true and right and dramatic." " You want a Fresca?" " No, thanks." " Are you sure?" " Yeah." "You're out of limes, Jack." "Check in the kitchen, darling." "I'm going to bed." "Good night, Jackie." "Don't stay up too late." "Good night, beauty." " Good night, Eddie." " Good night." "Glad you came by." " You're great." " Thank you." "She's the best." "She's a wonderful mother, you know." "She's a mother to all those who need love." "She's really nice." "You know what I'm thinking?" "I want to be in business with you, Eddie." " Really?" " Yeah." " What do you think?" " I'd love it." " What do you think of Rollergirl?" " She's great." "Would you like to do it?" " Have sex?" " Yeah." "Yeah, I'd love to." " She's really foxy." " You bet your ass she is." "You're officially out of limes." "I'll pick up some for you tomorrow." "Come here, darling." "I want you to go over there and sit on the couch with Eddie." " Here we go." "Are we going to fuck?" " Oh, yes." "Wait a minute." " Are you ready?" " Yeah, are you?" "Oh, yeah!" " You taking your skates off?" " I don't take my skates off." " And don't fucking come in me." " Okay." "Aim it at her tits, Eddie." "Hi." " Where were you?" " Nowhere." "Where were you?" "You see that little slut-girl?" "Sheryl?" "Sheryl Lynn?" "Don't say that." "Make you feel like a stud to see trash like that?" "Is she your girlfriend?" "No, she's not..." "She's a little whore and a piece of trash!" "And I know you're not the only one she sees." " Why would you say that?" " I heard things about that girl." "I know what goes on when I'm not here." "I wash your sheets." "Or are you doing something else in there with your music and your posters on the wall?" "What is your problem?" "Go to your little whore, Sheryl Lynn." "Go to your girlfriend." " Maybe I will." " Yeah?" " What are you going to do?" " I don't know." "Something!" "You can't do anything!" "You're a loser!" "You'll always be a loser!" "You were too stupid to even finish high school." "What'll you do?" "I'll do something!" "Maybe I'll run away where you won't find me!" "Go ahead, fuck that little girl!" " What are you doing?" " I'm getting my stuff." "That's not your stuff." "You didn't pay for it!" "That is not your stuff, because you didn't pay for it, stupid!" "None of this is yours!" "You leave here, you leave with what you've got!" "Nothing!" "Nothing!" "You understand me?" "You want to treat me like this?" "This is what happens." "Is that fair?" "I didn't do anything!" "Fuck that little whore!" "You think you're going to be this goddamn poster?" " You won't do this!" " Don't do that!" " Why are you doing that?" " You're too stupid to be shit!" "I'm not stupid!" "Yes, you are!" "Please, don't fucking do that!" "Don't be mean to me!" "I'm not being mean!" "You're too stupid to see it!" "You don't know what I can do or what I'm going to be!" "I have good things you don't know about!" "I'm going to be something!" "Don't fucking tell me I'm not!" "Don't be mean!" "And you don't talk to me!" "No!" "Fuck!" "Shit!" "Eddie Adams from Torrance." "I knew you'd make it." " You take the bus here?" " Yeah." "It wasn't bad." " How are you?" " Great." "I got people I want you to meet." " Do you like music?" " I love music." " What kind?" " All kinds." "Rock, jazz, classical." "I want you meet some great people." " Buck and Becky." " Hi, I'm Eddie Adams." " Buck Swope." "Nice to meet you." " Our new fella." " Becky Barnett." " Nice to meet you." "This is the new fella?" " Is that a faccia?" " That is a faccia." " Faccia is "face"?" " That's right." " Nice to meet you guys." " All right." "Great people." "He's one hell of an actor." "Hey, Reed!" "I want you to meet the new boy on the street." "Eddie Adams." "Hi, Eddie." "Reed Rothchild." " Stick around for a while, okay?" " Sure." " Make him something special." " Aye, aye." " Do you live on the street?" " No, no." "I thought Jack just said you did." " Want a drink?" " Sure." " Margarita?" " Great." "Two... four... whatever." "Can I ask you something?" " Do you work out?" " Yeah." "Yeah, you look like it." " What do you squat?" " About 2." "Super, super." "What about you?" "What do you squat?" "Three fifty." "No BS." "That's a lot." " Where do you work out?" " In Torrance, where I live." "Cool, cool." "You ever go to Vince's here?" "Oh, no." "I would've seen you." "I'm there every day." "I've always wanted to work out at Vince's." "Cool." "Here." "Taste that." " Rock 'n roll!" " Right." " Did you ever see "Star Wars"?" " About four times." "People tell me I look like Hans Solo." "Really?" "What do you bench?" "You tell first." "I asked you first." "Same time." "Cool." " Are you ready?" " Ready." "One... two... three." " You didn't say anything." " Neither did you." "Hey, guys, look at me." "Oh, my God!" "Thank you, Johnny." "My dear, it's party time." "You do look lovely." " Hello, colonel." "How are you?" " Hello, Jack." "This is my lady friend." "Darling, meet Jack Horner, the finest director in the business." "Do you have any coke at this party?" " I'm sure they can find some." " Great." "You're no bigger than a minute." " And shy as a butterfly." " I'll bet." "He has a right to tell me how to sell stereos." "It's his store." "But he doesn't have the right to tell me how to dress." " It's just plain old." " Let me tell you something." "First, he was pissed about the music." " What's wrong with it?" " And the cowboy look is out." " It's coming back." " No, it's over." "It's dead." "You don't know that." "I do." "And it sounds like your bosses are saying the same thing." " What?" " You have to get a new look." "What?" "You get a new look!" "The look I have is just fine." " What's your look?" " Chocolate Love." "All right?" " Take a pill." " 100%%% ." " I'm just trying to be your friend." " Drop it." "I tried opening a club there." "But I'm just this poor fellow from Puerto Rico." "I got this club, that's one thing." "But soon that goes." "I die, and what do I have?" "I got nothing." "So I want something I can send home." "Something I can send to my brothers and say:" ""Look at me"." ""Look at me and all the beautiful women I've been with"." "So, what?" "You want me to talk to Jack?" "Yeah, I mean, you know, what am I asking you here?" "Honey, baby, please, talk to Jack." "Tell him I can do this." "I won't be bad." " So you want to be in a movie?" " Please." " I'll see what I can do." " Thank you." "Thank you, mamita." "Maurice, can I talk to you?" "I need to talk to you now." " Excuse me." " Hi." "Can I join in?" "Certainly." "Your cowboy, that's not dead." "What's Becky talking about?" "She's got something up her ass." "Fuck that shit." "Bitch." " Do a cannonball!" " No, watch this jack knife!" " Did it look cool?" " Pretty good." "I'll show you what you did wrong." "Full flip." " You all right?" " Yeah." "You gotta bring your legs all the way around." "I know." "I know." "This is my point." "You know what I'm saying?" " What?" " Wear what you dig." " Just wear what you dig." " That's what I say." "What's the problem?" "Should I get that?" "Hello?" "Can you speak a little louder?" "A who?" "A Maggie?" " Do you know a Maggie?" " No." "There's no Maggie here." "Your mother?" "Just give me a second." "Watch that for me, okay?" "Excuse me, is there a Maggie here?" "Are you Maggie?" "Are you Maggie?" "Maggie?" "Man, can you believe this?" "Hello?" "Listen, I'm sorry, there's no Maggie here." "No, no, it's not a problem." "Okay." "Ciao." " Who was that?" " Some kid looking for his mom." " What the fuck are you doing?" " What does it look like?" "That's my wife." "Shut up, Bill." "You're embarrassing me." "Yeah, Little Bill, shut up." " Hello, Bill." " Kurt, how's it going?" " What's wrong?" " My fucking wife, man." "She's down there, some idiot's dick in her." "Everybody's watching." " It's a fucking embarrassment!" " Yeah, I know." " Anyway, listen." " Yeah." "For the shoot, I want to see about getting this new zoom lens." "I was wondering if we'd be able to get more lights too." "Jack wants a minimal thing." "Very often, minimal means a lot more photographically than most people understand." " I understand." " I know that." "I mean other people." "I think what Jack is talking about is minimal." " Not natural, minimal." " Okay, fine." " I was..." " I understand." "I want to give each film its own look." " Can we talk about this later?" " Yeah." "You got to go somewhere or...?" "Yeah..." "No..." "I mean..." "'Cos I was hoping, for the shoot tomorrow, we could send Rocky down to pick it up." " Kurt..." " No, got you." "You got to go somewhere, so what the fuck?" "It's only the photography of the film." " Are you giving me shit, Kurt?" " No, no way, Little Bill." "My fucking wife has an ass in her cock in the driveway!" "All right?" "I'm sorry if my thoughts are not on the photography of the film!" " Okay?" " Okay, no big deal." "Sorry." " All right?" " Got you." "All right, where is it?" "I think she's sick." " What is this?" " I didn't do anything." " Is she breathing?" " I don't know." " Maybe she did too much coke." " Really, doctor?" "This girl's definitely OD'd." "Fuck me." "I want you to handle this for me, Johnny." " You listening?" " Yeah." "Drive her to Saint Joe's." " Drop her at the front." "Understand?" " Got you." "Make sure no one sees the limo." "What is this?" "This is twice in two days that a chick has OD'd on me!" "You think you should think about getting some new shit?" "Yes, sir." "Shit, she's freaking out!" "With all this fucking conversation!" "Come on!" "Please don't die!" "Back door, Johnny." "You got it." "Fucking shit!" "Get out of my way." " Is she all right?" " Shut the fuck up." "Hey, Reed!" " Scotty J, how are you?" " You know, you know." "Who's this?" "Eddie, this is Scotty J. He works on some of the films." "Nice to meet you." "Yeah, me too." "Are you going to be working or...?" "Maybe." " Probably." " That's great." "How did you meet Jack?" "I work on the films." "Sometimes." "So if you ever..." "Yeah..." "Come here a second!" "That's the boy." "Could you excuse me for a minute?" "Very nice to meet you." " Take care." " Yeah." "Eddie Adams, this is the colonel." "How do you do?" "Eddie is interested in film." "I can't give you much advice that Jack probably doesn't know, but I can advise that you think about your name." "My name?" "Like, think about some name that makes you happy." " Something with a little pizazz." " Yeah, sure." "You see, the colonel here puts up all the money for our films." "It's an important part of the process." "Great, great." "Jack says you've got a great big cock." "Well, I don't know." "I guess so." "May I see it?" " Really?" " Please." "Thank you, Eddie." "No problem." "Thanks, Eddie." "You want to hear a poem I wrote?" ""I love you, you love me, going down the sugar tree." "We'll go down the sugar tree, and see lots of bees, playing, playing." "But the bees won't sting because you love me."" " That's it." " Great." "Did you write that?" "Yeah." "I write songs too." " How's it going, boys?" " Hey, Jack." " Having a good time?" " Excellent." "It was a great party." " The best." " That's what Jack's house is for." " To have a good time, right?" " That's right." "How about bubbles, Reed?" "Excuse me, Jack." "I was thinking about what the colonel was saying about my name." "Do you have any ideas?" "I had some thoughts on it." "What do you think?" "My idea was, I just want a name..." "I want it so it can cut glass." "Like, razor sharp." "Razor sharp, huh?" "When I close my eyes, I see this thing, like this big sign." "And the name is in bright blue neon lights with purple outline." "And the name is so bright and so sharp that the sign..." "It just blows up because the name is just so powerful." "It says "Dirk Diggler"." "I think heaven has sent you here," "Dirk Diggler." "I think the angels have blessed us all because of you." "You're Dirk!" "Dirk Diggler!" "Amen!" "Talk to me, Kurt." " 20 to 30." " Why?" " I got tough shadows to deal with." " There's shadows in life, babe." " Jack." " Yeah?" "You want to go over this?" "The set-up is..." "Okay, here we go." "One:" "Amber talking to Becky." "They make a phonecall to the agency to send over some actors." "Two:" "Enter Reed to audition for Amber." "They go at it." "Becky watches." "Three:" "Becky goes to the bathroom to jack off." "She gets interrupted by Amber." "They go at it." "Four..." "Who's Dirk..." "Dirk Diggler?" "That's that new good-Iooking kid, Eddie, at the club." "Good name." "Anyway, enter Dirk." "He meets Becky." "They go at it." "No, change that, will you?" "I want Eddie to be auditioning for Amber." "Got it." " Darling, where you going?" " To wash my vagina." " How long will you be?" " Two seconds." "You want it clean, don't you?" ""I'm back now." "I'm ready to start my..."" " Hi." " Hi." "Dirk, Dirk Diggler." " Scotty?" " Yeah." "I'm supposed to come get you now and tell you they're all ready." " Okay." " Yeah." "Could you give me a minute?" "Thanks." ""I'm back now."" ""I'm ready to start my acting career."" "That's right." "You look really good." " And you look really sexy." " Thanks." " I like your name a lot." " You do?" "Yeah, it's really cool." "You'll be right down there." " How's my boy?" " Great." "Let's do it." "Remember what we talked about?" "You're going to come through the door, walk right over here." "I'll say:" ""Action, Eddie." That'll be your cue, right?" "You come in, walk right over here to the desk to Amber and... we shoot." "Do we go right into the sex or...?" "Is that all right?" "Is that okay with you?" " Amber?" " Good." " You don't need a rehearsal?" " No, it's okay, I can do it." "Then we'll shoot the rehearsal." "All right?" " Could I ask you something?" " Sure." "I was wondering if you could call me Dirk Diggler from now on?" "Absolutely." "I'm sorry." " No, it's all right." " From now on." "Thanks." "Let's get a good one." " Want to practice your lines?" " No, I know it." " You look great, honey." " Thanks." "Does he want me to keep going until I come?" "Yeah, come when you're ready." " Where should I do it?" " Where do you want?" "Wherever you tell me." "Well, come on my tits if you can." "Pull it out and do it on my stomach and my tits if you can." "No problem." "Are you all right, honey?" "This is great." "I'm fine." "I just want to do good." "I want it to be really good." "I was wondering, is it okay if I really try to make it look sexy?" " Would that be okay?" " Okay." "Great." " You all right?" " Yeah." "Okay, you enter through this door." ""Action", that's your cue." " You got the lines for the scene?" " Yeah." "If you drop one, just call for it." "Do not stop, okay?" "Do not stop." " Want some water?" " No, I'm fine." "You'll do fine." "Roll it, Scotty." "Speed." " Sticks." " Marker." "Camera's set." "We're ready, chief." "And..." "Action, Dirk." "Hello." "Are you John?" "Yes, ma'am." "Your agency recommends you very highly." "I'm a hard worker." "If you give me a job, I won't disappoint you." "What special skills do you have?" "I was in the Marines for 3 years." "I'm just back from a tour of duty." " You're kidding." " No, I'm not." "And it got really hard being surrounded by those guys all day." " How long since you had a woman?" " A long time." "That's terrible." "But now I'm back, and I'm ready to pursue my acting career." "As you may or may not know, this is an important film for me." "If it's not a hit, I'll be kicked out of my apartment." " My landlord's a real jerk." " Really?" "Take your pants off." "It's important I get an idea of your size." "No problem." "I think that you have the job, but why don't I make sure of something?" "This is a giant cock." "Little Bill, we've rolled out." "We got to change mags." "Do it quickly." " Is everything cool?" " We just got to change the angle." " Does it look sexy?" " It's great." " You're doing so good, Dirk." " Does it feel good?" "Roll sound, Scotty," "Speed." "Quiet." "Sticks." "Marker." "We're back." "Action, kids." "Okay, we're going to go down now." "Down again." "John, you're a wonderful actor." " John!" " Yeah?" "You're a wonderful actor." " You're amazing." " You feel so good." " You ready to come?" " Yeah." "Come in me." "Don't worry, I'm fixed." "I want you to come in me." "Oh, God!" "Wonderful." "Cut!" "Terrific!" "Nice work!" " Was it sexy?" " Rock 'n roll!" "Really good." "Doesn't he fuck like a champ?" " He rocks." " The camera loves you." "I didn't get the come shot." "We missed the come shot." "He came inside her." "Maybe we could go to stock footage." "Are you crazy?" "It won't match." "Jack!" "I could do it again if you need a close-up." "Here we go." "Everyone say "Dirk"!" "These are real wood." " These are great." " They're cool." "Are they lizard?" "No, they're Italian." "I'm going to fucking buy these." "Guys!" "Yeah, we should be in a band." " You like my shoes?" " They're pretty cool." "I got them with Reed and Scotty." "They're cool." "Yeah!" "They like embossed leather, with this patchwork reptilian pattern design." "Cool." "Can we have some hot sauce here?" "Want to sit down and help yourself?" "Say hello to Jamie Lynn, Scotty." "Scotty, Jamie Lynn." "So you're a Leo?" "My girlfriend wants to meet you." "This is Raymond." " How do you do?" "What's your name?" " Becky Barnett." " Excuse me?" " Becky Barnett!" " Raymond's a Leo." " I knew it." " What's your sign?" " I'm Pisces." "What?" "I can't deal with no Pisces." " That shirt's pretty sexy too." " Well, this is, like... imported Italian nylon." "And it's, like, a special limited edition silk print." "And it was done by this really famous design artist from Italy." "Pick a card." "What's up, baby?" "I love you." "What table's that going to?" "Four?" "Five." "Now your card will rise from the deck." "Damn!" " Two of diamonds, right?" " That's my card!" "Doesn't it make you nervous when you're dealing with evil forces?" " Horses?" "What?" " No, the evil forces." "Evil?" "No, man." "It's not evil." "It's an illusion." "Yeah, it's confusing." "Thank you." "Listen up, kids!" "We're going to try and do this in one shot." "So, we start like this and then you roll her over, Dirk." "Roll with him, but try to give me every single position." " Is that possible?" " Well..." "If you wrap your leg around..." "No, the left one." "Around and over." "Good." " We can go right into doggy-style." " Perfect." "Is the movement on the waterbed a problem?" "No, not at all." "I dig it." "It's great." " Can we do this?" " Yeah." "All right, here we go." "This is going to be great." "You want a Spanish accent?" ""Jack Horner has found something special in newcomer Dirk Diggler." "It's another stellar sexual standout from Horner and Company." "Diggler delivers a performance worth a thousand hard-ons." "His presence when dressed is powerful and demanding." "Stripped to the bone, he is more eruptive than a volcano on a bad day." "Amber Waves' cherry lips do a wonderful job of handling Diggler's wide load." "Reed Rothchild's stiff biceps do a slapping good job with Becky Barnett's supple ass." "But it's Diggler that remains the stand-out in this film." "After only two films" "Diggler's suck-cess can only grow and grow and grow and grow and grow and grow and grow and grow and grow..." "What else?" "That's it for now." "Look at the character Holmes came up with." "And look, I just..." "Tell me." "I don't like seeing women treated that way." "That Johnny Wadd..." "It's always about slapping a girl around." "It's not right." "It's just not sexy." "It's not sexy like it should be." "This guy's more like a James Bond-type character." "You know, he's classy." "He's a world-traveled guy." " I like that." " Reed could play my partner." " I like it a lot." " It could be good." "Honestly, if you direct it, we make a whole series with a whole story." "It's what we've always talked about." "Please." "When we get back, set up the typewriter." "See what comes out." "But I have to talk to the colonel in Vegas." "You gotta work on the colonel too." "You gotta be committed." "Right, Jack." "I'll do whatever I have to do." "Does this character have a name?" "His name is "Brock Landers"." "His partner's name is "Chest Rockwell"." "Those are great names." "And the award for "Best Newcomer"" "goes to..." "Yes, my baby boy!" "Dirk Diggler!" "The award for Best Cock goes to..." "Here we go again." "Dirk Diggler!" "The award for Best Actor goes to..." "I've seen all his movies and I can't wait to work with him." "Mr. Dirk Diggler!" "I don't know what to say." "I guess..." "I guess the only thing I can say is" "I'll promise to keep rocking and rolling and making better films." "You know, it seems we make these movies and sometimes they're considered filthy or something by some people." "But I don't think that's true." "These moves we make can be better." "They can help, they really can." "Right!" "We can always do better." "I'm going to keep trying, if you guys keep trying." "Let's keep rocking and rolling." "Marker!" "Shot of tequila, straight up." "Yes, ma'am." "I've been in this place for 20 minutes just to get a seat." " Are you alone?" " Yeah." "Just visiting L.A." "Some people told me the food in here was really good." "Good?" "It's not good." "It's probably the best place to eat in all of Los Angeles." "I certainly hope so." "I could die of starvation before I get something in my mouth." "Still hungry?" "Starving." " Why don't you feast on that?" " Okay." "Oh, it's true." "What's that?" "You are Brock Landers." "Freeze!" "Don't make me chase you, Raphael!" "Freeze!" "We're almost there." "I want you to trim the head." "Take that shot of Reed with the revolver and just dump that." "And switch the title card." "I want it to come flying out of the screen at the audience." " Nice." "Piece of cake." " That's my guy." "I told him:" ""This is for Scotty J. I want your lightest, bubbliest champagne."" "This is what he gave me." "Take a sip and tell me what you think." "This is supposed to be really good stuff." "Here, take a sip." " Is that pretty light?" " Yeah, that is." " What do you think?" " It's beautiful." " Look how spacious it is." " Yeah, look." "I like these." "That's custom made." "Imported Italian leather." "Watch this." " What's that?" " My initials." "That's so imaginative!" "How did you think of that?" "I was thinking of my name and dreamed it up." " I'm almost finished." " It's great." "I used a little poetic license to capture your essence." "It looks great, Jessie." "It's a good piece for conversation." "Jesse did that painting as well." "Buck is installing the stereo." "That's a bean bag." "And that lamp..." "Those are sterling silver." " It has a modern feel." " It's very interesting." " Watch this." "You ready?" " I can't wait." " It's my dojo." " It's all Asian!" " It has that karate feel." " Very comfortable." "Yeah." "A lot of ancient China." " My statues for Best Actor awards." " A good place to keep your awards." " Look up there." " That's handy." " Can you see yourself?" " Yeah." "It's great, huh?" "My whole, entire wardrobe." "It's all organized for me by color as well as designer." "You don't have to think about it." "You'll love it." "This is my favorite thing in the world." "Close your eyes." " You ready?" " Yeah, baby." " Isn't it beautiful?" " Oh, God!" "This is it." "This is the thing." " You deserve this, baby." " Isn't it great?" "It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." "Want to go for a ride?" "Oh, yeah!" "She rocks!" "Hold on!" "You set us up, Chico." "Fuck with the others if you want." "Don't fuck with Chest and Brock." "Yeah, but..." "You know what?" "You're not even worth it!" "I gave you a chance!" "I trusted him." "Well, we almost solved the case." "At least the women are safe." "Let's go get some of that Saturday night beaver." "No one fucks with Chest and Brock." "This is the best work we've ever done." "It's a real film, Jack." " It feels good." " You made it fly." "This is the film" "I want them to remember me by." "Thank you." "As far as I'm concerned, it's all about love, you know?" "If you love someone, how hard can the world be?" "People will come and they will go." "So will problems, but ultimately, if you have got love on your side, and it is just..." "I mean, it is just deep down in your soul, what's a problem that takes your attention away from that?" "Do you understand?" "I'm Becky Barnett." "Jerome." " Nice to meet you." " Nice to meet you too, Becky." " So, what do you do?" " I'm in the auto industry." "I'm a regional manager at Pep Boys." "That's great, that's great." "You got a really nice smile." "Thank you," "Jerome." "The Colonel..." "Floyd Gondolli!" "Great you could make it." "Great, great!" " How are you?" "You look happy." " I'm fine." "Meet boys:" "Tommy, Pete." "Meet girls:" "Cyndi, Angie." "These are the next stars." "These are the real people in the world." "I think we ought to talk to Jack." "Iron this out before the New Year?" "Let's do it." "What were you thinking?" "What were you feeling?" "Did you do research?" " What are you talking about?" " Oh, nothing." " Want to come with me for a while?" " Where?" "It's a surprise, surprise, surprise." "Yeah, let's go." "Excuse me, Jessie." "Hey, Buck." "Hey, Jessie." "How you doing?" " You sitting alone?" " Yes." "Todd Parker!" " Rocking Reed Rothchild!" " You made it!" "Amazing party." "Fucking chicks everwyhere." "You bet." "Courtesy ofJack Horner, thank you." "I wouldn't mind me having a piece of that action over there." " Michelle." "I'll introduce you." " Sure." "Introduce her to my lap." " Did you get off work?" " Don't dance Sunday nights." " Whose Vette is that in the drive?" " Dirk's." " I'm jealous of him." " That shit's jamming." "Start down low with a 350 cube, 31/4 horsepower, 4 speed, 4-10 gears, 10 coats of competition orange, hand rubbed lacquer with a dual-plane manifold." "Full fucking race cams." " I'm pretty happy with it." " It's a great look for you." " It's pretty original, I think." " Right." "Take this off." "What were we talking about before?" " Oil painting?" " No." " No, yes, but I was saying that..." " Sunsets!" "Right, yeah." "I was saying that I love sunsets." " But sunrises are better." " Exactly." " I thought only I felt that way." " No, I feel that way." " Really?" " Yes, really." " Have you heard my stereo system?" " No." "I'm going to open my own business." " Really?" " Yes, yes, it's my dream, okay?" "It's hi-fi stereo equipment at discount prices." "It's called "Buck's Super Stereo World"." " That's a fucking great idea." " Yeah." "You know, in the 80's, that's when it's going to happen." "For real." " Really?" " Yes, really." "In the 80's." "I wanted you to come in so I could tell you how much I love you." "It's going to be a new year, we're going to start things, do things, and I just wanted you to know how much I care about you." "I really care about you." "You're my little baby." "Thank you." "You're the best thing to happen to me since my son went off." " I love you, honey." " I love you, too." "Fucking 1980, you know?" " Can you believe it?" " I can't." "The next thing you know it's going to be, like, 1990, and 2000." "Can you imagine?" "Good-bye, 1979." "Hello, 1980." "Make sure you snort it back real quick and hard." "Like this." " It burns." " It's good though, right?" "It's going to my throat." "That's the drip, the best part." " It tastes like aspirin." " Do one more in the other nostril." "I need a drink of water." "One more, and then a drink of water." "Do I look cool when I do it?" "So let's talk about the future." "Let's talk about what video means to this industry." "Let's talk about how all of us, not one of us, how all of us will profit." "I've been doing theater in San Francisco and San Diego as long as you've been doing hardcore." "We're all familiar with your biography." "No one is doubting your credentials or your history." "Then why the resistance?" "This industry is going to be turned upside down soon enough." "Why help it?" "Why not be prepared?" "Colonel's got the money." "You got the talent, Jack." "I got connections, equipment and the distribution." "Not to mention those kids out there who are hot fuck action to the max, Jack." "This is the future." " Videotape tells the truth." " Hang on." "You come into my house, my party, to tell me about the future?" "And the future is tape, videotape, and not film?" "That it's amateurs, not professionals." "I'm a filmmaker." "That's why I will never make a movie on videotape." "And something else." "I will never ever loan out any of the actors under contract to me." "Wait a minute, Jack." "I'm not a complicated man." "I like cinema." "In particular, I like to see people fucking on film." "But I don't want to win an Oscar or reinvent the wheel." "I like simple pleasures like butter in my ass and lollipops in my mouth." "That's just something I enjoy." "Call me crazy, call me a pervert." "But there is one little thing I want to do in this life and that is I want to make a dollar and a cent in this business." "Jack, I'm not trying to hurt you." "I'm trying to help you stay one step ahead of the game." "We're going in circles now." "We're in familiar territory." "The territory we're in is the future." "Not to mention the cost." "You know, if it looks like shit, and it sounds like shit, then it must be shit." "You're holding on too tight, Jack." "It doesn't have to look good." "Film is just too damn expensive." "And theaters are already converting to video projectors." "I haven't heard that." "Well, it's true." "Ten minutes to the New Year." "I'd like to spend it with my friends." "We will or will not continue this conversation." " Hey, Dirk." " Hey, Scotty." "What's up?" " Fucking New Year, right?" " 1980." "Oh, man!" "Right!" "Did you see my new car?" " You got a new car?" " Want to see?" "Cool." "It's out front." "Come on." "I want you to meet my friend, Todd." "Todd Parker, Dirk Diggler." " What's up, man?" " We finally meet." "I was telling you about him before, you remember?" "Todd Parker, he works at the Party Boys Strip Club." " Cool, you're a dancer?" " Yeah, I got some moves." "Dirk!" "You coming, or you want to talk to these guys?" "I'll be around in a bit, we can talk then, right?" "See you later, Reed." "When you get by the lights, close your eyes." " Just follow my voice." " All right." "Here, here, here, here, here..." " Here, here..." " Where?" "Keep coming." "All right, open them." "This is it." " It's cool!" " Yeah." "Want to get inside?" " When did you get this?" " Yesterday." "I had it painted yesterday, so it might be kind of sticky." " This is great, man!" " Yeah." " You want to go for a ride?" " Wait, wait." "Fuck!" "Hell, how much time is left?" " I'm sorry." " What the hell's up with you?" "Why did you do that, Scotty?" "You look at me sometimes." "I want to know if you like me." "Well, of course." "Yeah, I like you, Scotty." " Can I kiss you on the mouth?" " No!" " Please let me." " Scotty!" "I'm really sorry." "I didn't mean to grab you like that or scare you." " Do you want to kiss me?" " Scotty!" " What's the matter with you?" " Forget it." "I'm really drunk." "Really, I am." "I'm out of my head." "I'm really wasted." "Really, Dirk." "I'm really just wasted." "I'm crazy right now." "I'm really crazy." "You want to go back inside?" " You like my car, Dirk?" " What?" "Yeah, yeah!" "Because I wanted to, you know..." "I wanted to make sure you thought it was cool or I'd take it back." " It's great." " Happy New Year." "Happy New Year, Scotty." " I really love you." " I love you too." " Let's go back inside, okay?" " All right." "All right." "Idiot!" "I'm a fucking idiot." "I'm a fucking idiot." "I'm a fucking idiot." "I'm a fucking idiot!" "I'm a fucking idiot!" "A fucking idiot!" "A fucking idiot!" "Two minutes, pops!" "Let's go!" "Let's go!" "Two minutes!" "Two minutes!" "Come on, Little Bill." "Little Bill, smile, man!" " Little Bill, champagne?" " Thanks." "That's nice of you." " Happy New Year." " Same to you." " Kurt, have you seen my wife?" " No." "They're doing that countdown thing." "Come on in, man." "Hey, Little Bill, look at me." "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two..." "What about your character, "Brock Landers"" "and what people may consider violent attitudes towards women?" "Violence?" "No!" "I mean, if there's a certain amount of... violence or action in this series of films, that's the movie." "If Brock Landers is slick with a gun, he does so only in the vein of good and right." "Brock protects the values of the American ideal and fights for causes that instill pride in a society where morals are hard to come by." "Who sent you?" " Who?" " Get off me, asshole." "Lie still or I'll punch you in the goddam face!" "Fuck off!" "I'll find out." "Amber, I live in this world." "I don't like violence any more than you do." "Violence is a bad thing." "But when you see violence in films... lf, you know, movies, films, caused violence, we could wipe out violence tomorrow." "Boom, no more films." "That's fine with me." "I'll fuck on my own time." "You know, I've got other interests." "I'm a magician." "Hopefully, that will be something" "I focus on in the future." "You can't fuck forever." "I realize that." "Anyway, violence is something that plagues us as a society." "Well, the fine line is I'm playing a character." "I'm Dirk Diggler." "Brock Landers is a character that I'm playing." "I'll ask you once more and I'll ask you nice." "Where is Ringo, you bitch?" "Fuck you." "Why do I love him?" "He's very special." "He can fuck hard or he can fuck really gently." "He's the best..." "I think that's part of my reason for doing this." "I've gotten thousands upon thousands of letters from people telling me, "God, you've taught me this and you've made our love life so much better"." "This isn't "Go out and have sex with 10 million people"." ""How to get a girl off." It's about how to get your wife off." "If only people could have been doing this before, we could have saved a million relationships." "I've saved thousands." "Blocking an idea or movement." "Jack'll put the final touches for what's needed for editing, but he allows me to block my own sex scenes" "and gives me freedom to develop the character and stuff like that." "I don't know any other director who would let an actor do that." "You know?" "I don't allow him to block his own sex scenes." "It is." "It's jealousy, it's deceitfulness, it's vindictiveness." "It's all of that stuff." "But, God, what can you expect when you're on top?" "You know, it's like Napoleon, when he was the king, people were constantly trying to conquer him in the Roman Empire." "It's history repeating itself all over again." "To all the critics out there." "I know they'll be reviewing this." "I know they'll try to knock me." "I just want them to know..." "Is it okay if I say this to camera?" "Sure." "I only am who I am because I was born that way." "I have a gift, and I am trying to not be selfish about it but to use it." "If you want to knock me for that, it's your own problem." "Jealousy will get you nowhere." "I'm going to keep on." "For Dirk Diggler, the future is something to look forward to, not to fear." "He is a creative man of many interests." "Film, poetry, karate, music, dance." "He is a man of passion and mystery." "He is a man of lust." " It's my poem to you." " It's good, Amber, really good." "You're like a director now." " Have you shown Jack yet?" " No, I wanted you to be the first." " It's really good." "Congratulations." " Thanks, baby." "You might want to think about cutting the part where Jack talks..." " About blocking the sex?" " Yeah." "That stuff about me not being a black belt is not true." "Yeah, I can fix that." "How'd it turn out?" " Are you sure?" " No!" "Hello?" "What?" "Look, slow down." "Guys, guys, guys." "Slow down, colonel." "Say again?" "I'll be right there." "So...?" "Let me tell you, Jack." "I don't mean to laugh about it, but she was 15 going on 150." "Believe me." "She was..." "You would never know, never know." "I was fooled completely." "I mean, I've had a few of them." "Anyhow..." "You do believe me, Jack?" " Yeah, I believe you." " Anyway, so I take her home, and I got her there and I tell her not to do so much coke." "But she must've done 20 lines of the stuff in 5 minutes." "It's like a vacuum in her nose." "Just going up like crazy." "She'd all this stuff going on." "Next thing, she stopped." "Something must have broken up there because blood poured everwyhere." "Pouring out." "Honest, Jack..." "You thought she was older." "You didn't do anything." "She was just at the..." "She was at your place." "You didn't do anything, right?" " Right." " You didn't do anything?" "Not a thing." "You know me, Jack." " You didn't do anything?" " No, I didn't do anything." "But they..." "They found something at the house." " What?" " Something that's..." "Jack, it's my fucking weakness." "They're so small and they're so cute and they're so adorable." "I just can't help it when they're so cute and adorable." "Jack, listen, listen." "I don't touch them, Jack." "Not in any way." "Honestly." "Jack, please." "All right." "Now you think I'm an asshole." "Jack, let me tell you this." "I love you, Jack." "I'm your friend." " There's one thing I want you to do." " Tell me." "Jack, come on, tell me that you'd be my friend." "Tell me, am I your friend?" "Am I...?" "I do." "I do too." "I now pronounce you man and wife." "It's an important thing in my life." "I spoke to Jack, you know I spoke to him, but..." "I'll tell you what comes to my mind." "What comes to my mind is that I am the ultimate Latin lover." "There is no Latin lover like me." "Once you get Maurice as the Latin lover..." "That's so great, you guys!" "It's a chance for me to run the store my way." " We're getting a house." " Exactly!" "I'm going to run the store my way." " Are you moving to Bakersfield?" " Yes!" "Soon?" "Aren't your folks from Bakersfield?" "You guys, we're losing these two." "They're moving to Bakersfield." "Big promotion." " See a movie, say "I can do that"." " I can do it." "It's more complicated than that." "It's a tough racket." "Dirk!" "You made it!" " Hey, Jack." " How're you doing?" "Good." "Who's that?" "Hi." "I'm Johnny Doe." "You're Dirk Diggler?" "It's great to meet you." "Johnny's the new boy on the street." "He's interested in show business." "He's very tired." "He's shy, you know?" "So, I can tell you it's a tough business." "You got a great kisser." "There's a lot of work involved." "A lot of people." "We all have to work our buns off." "I mean, it takes 15, 16 guys to do the lighting." " This crystal, you want to do bumps." " Shut up, man." "Hey, you guys." "What?" " Just saying "hey"." " Yeah, whatever." " You all right?" " It's getting me fucking high." "It's that carpet dope." "It's the kind of dope they used to put carpet in." "While there were mixing it up in the bathtub they'd drop in a hunk of carpet." "It's a lot better than that pink shit." "That's fucking weird." "They put fish scales in it." "Fuck." "You look good." "You're ready." "Come on." "I'm a star." "A fucking rock'n roll star." "My cock can get hard." "Come on." "Fucker, don't do this to me, please." "Come on." "I'm a star." "You ready?" "I'm born ready." "Come on." " Jack!" " Yeah?" "I'm ready to shoot." " 20 minutes." " No, I'm ready." "It's got to be now." "20 minutes, babe." "Fuck it, hey." "No!" "Hey, Jack!" "I'm ready to shoot now." "My cock is ready." "I want to fuck." "Let's go." "20 minutes." " I want to fuck." "Who'll it be?" " What?" "Who do you want to start?" "Me or him?" " Me?" "What?" " Shut up, okay?" " I didn't do anything to you." " You're not even an actor!" "You got no business here." "You're not an actor!" " Yes, I am!" " Knock it off!" " I'm a real, fucking actor." " Shut up!" " Shut up, man!" " Stop this Mickey Mouse bullshit!" "I want you to go in there." "I want you to cool off." "Okay?" "Just cool off." "And we'll come back and shoot the scene." " I said I'm ready to shoot." " Not now." "I'm not going to tell you again, Jack." "I'm not going to shoot you in the state you're in." "The state of California?" "I know where the fuck I am, Jack." " You've been up for two days." " I haven't been up for two days." "You look like you haven't been to sleep." "I ain't going to shoot you this way because you don't look good." "You don't tell me anything, okay?" "Really?" " You're not the boss of me." " Yes, I am." " You're the king, huh?" " Yes!" "You shut up too!" "You're not the mother of me!" "You're not my boss!" "You're not my mother!" "You're not my fucking mom!" " Honey, please, don't." " I'll take you home." "I'm ready to shoot the scene." "I want to shoot the scene." "I'm fine." "I want you out of here." "Look, it's over, okay?" "I'm done!" " Listen to me, kid..." " Don't fucking call me a kid!" "I'll fuck you up!" "Want to see me kick some ass?" "I know karate!" "You're fucking fired!" "You are fired!" "You're fired, you goddam kid!" "Son-of-a-bitch!" "Know what?" "I'm the biggest star here, man." "That's the way it is." "I want to fuck." "It's my big dick, so everybody get ready fucking now!" "You know what?" "I don't need this shit!" "You know, fuck you!" "Fuck you!" "Fuck all of you!" "You're not my boss." "You're not the king of me." "I am the king of Dirk!" "You're fucking nothing without me, Jack!" "Fuck, I don't need this shit!" "I'm sorry." "I'm going to take care of this." "I'll straighten him out." " Okay, Dirk, you ready?" " I was born ready." "Let's go, man." "Dirk Diggler demo." ""You got the touch." Take 7." "Excuse me, Reed." "You got the touch." "You got the power." "After all is said and done, you never walk, you never run." "You're a winner." "You've got the moves, you know the streets." "Break the rules, take the heat." "You're nobody's fool." "You're at your best when the going gets rough." "You've been put to the test but it's never enough." "You got the touch." "Think the bass is taking away from the vocal?" "No, not really." "Maybe." "It sounds balanced to me." "It's definitely taking away from my vocal." "Take the bass down and bring up the vocal." "Let's do it, Nick." "You heard him." " Want to take it from the top?" " Let's try it." "I think we should repeat that." "Yeah, it's definitely cool." "Let's lay it down." " Want to lay it down?" " Were you rolling on the rehearsal?" "Is he going to fuck me in the ass?" " Is that what you want?" " It would be nice." "Fuck her in the ass." "Lock and load, Jack." "I was going to take a pottery class." " I want to do that." " We'll do that." "Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at 3.00." "I was thinking something." "I was going to see about taking the GED." " You know what that is?" " High school." "Graduate." "I never got my diploma." "I feel bad." "I think you were right about that." "You should do it, Rollergirl." "Because, you know what." "If you wanted to, you could do anything." " Mr. Swope?" " Yes, that's me." " Have your loan application?" " Yes, right here." " Good." "Want to follow me?" " Yes, I do." "Are we going to have any more coverage on that?" "No, we just keep shooting." "This is video." "We shoot and shoot and then we deal with it later." "Now, Summer, I want you to take Star's thong off." "That thong thing." "Yeah, actually take it off and finger it." "That's good." "Lick the thong." "That's really good technically but it lacks passion." "I want to see some passion here." "Yes, bitch!" "Yeah, that's it!" "Lick my balls." "Fuck me!" "Who's your daddy, bitch?" "You'll live." "I'm back!" "Perfect timing." "What the fuck took you so long?" "Fuck!" "That's what Buck's Super Stereo World is all about, the customer." "People want to know what they're getting into technically." "I have the technical hi-fi background to answer any question." "I've been in sound equipment long enough to know what a guy wants when he walks in." "That's the personal touch Buck's Super Stereo World will have." "I miss my two sons, you know." "I miss my little Andrew, and my Dirk." "I always felt like Dirk was my baby." "My new baby." "Don't you miss Dirk?" "Yeah." "He's so fucking talented, the bastard, you know." "I love him, Rollergirl." "I really love the stupid jerk." "I love you, Mom." "I want you to be my mom, Amber." "Are you my mom?" "I'll just ask you if you're my mom, okay?" "And you say yes, okay?" "Are you my mom?" "Yes, honey." "Hold on." "Now, look." "Come on." "All we need is the tapes, Burt." "No, you don't get them until you pay." "In our situation, that doesn't make any fucking sense!" "We can't pay the price of the demo tapes unless we take the demo tapes to the record company and get paid." "Exactly!" "That's not an M.P. That's a Y.P. Your problem." "Come up with the money and I'll give you the tapes." "Okay, now you're talking above my head." "I don't know this industry jargon." "YP, MP, whatever." "Okay?" "All I know is that we cannot get a record contract unless I take these tapes." "And granted, the tapes themselves are yours." "You own them, okay?" "But the magic that is on the tapes, that fucking heart and soul we put into those tapes, that is ours." "And you don't own that." "Now, I need to take that magic and get it to the record company." "They're waiting." "We were supposed to be there a half hour ago." "We look like assholes right now, man." "I don't want to do this anymore." "I can't." "Let's have fun now." "Let's just go and go." "Because it's over." "There's too many things." "Too many things." "Too many things." "Let's go walk." "I don't want to leave this room." "Me either!" "I love you, honey." "I love you, Mom." "God!" "Let me explain to him in simple arithmetic." "One, two, three." "Because you don't fucking get it, Burt." "You give us the tapes, we get the record contract, we come back and give you your money." "Have you heard the tapes?" "We're guaranteed a record deal." "It's that good!" " We sculptured." " Now I understand." "I know you want it to happen." "But it's not going to happen, because it's a "Catch 22"." "What does that mean?" "What is a "Catch 22?" ""Catch 22"." "Think about it." "You know what I'm thinking about?" "I'm thinking about kicking some fucking ass in here, man!" "Scotty, get him out of here!" "Thanks a lot for backing us up." "Real good." "Fuck!" " Mr. Swope." " Yes?" "We can't help you." "I have all the papers, though." "I mean..." " Everything's in order, yes?" " Yes." "But we can't give you a loan." "I'm sorry." "I don't understand." "Why can't you give me the loan?" "Mr. Swope, you're a pornographer." "This bank is not in business to support pornography." "I'm not a pornographer, though." "I'm an actor." " I'm sorry." " Please, please." "Look, this is a new business for me." "All right?" "It's a real thing that I want to do." "It's a real thing that I can do." "Please!" "I'm sorry." " We did everything right..." " It's okay, honey." "It's okay." "Just wait a minute." "Let's just take a minute, okay?" "You have something to say." "I have something to say." "All right?" "So let's just talk." "If there is something I didn't fill out correctly on this, something I left out or something you want me to write on there, just tell me and I'll write it on there." "I'm sorry." "You're not being fair!" "This isn't fair!" "This financial institution cannot endorse pornography." "Stop saying that!" "Will you quit saying "pornography"!" " I'm an actor!" " I'm sorry." "I'm an..." "I'm an actor." "Who's your daddy?" " How is it?" " What it is, what it is." "Suck that cock, bitch." " Hello." "You must be Maggie?" " Yes." " Kathleen O'Malley." "I'm the judge." " Yes." " You have a lawyer with you?" " No, I don't." "I do not." " Hello, Judge." " Morning, Counselor." " You've been divorced for 6 years?" " Yes, since 1977." "The agreement on the money settlement has been taken care of?" "Yes." "What we're talking about is coming to an agreement on the custody of Andrew." "What was decided during the divorce?" "Initially, Andrew was to go with his father, for visitation with his mother from..." "Saturday noon to Sunday at 7.00." "With his mother entitled to bring Andrew to her house or any reasonable place." " Was that the understanding?" " Yes." "Why wasn't that visiting privilege honored, then?" " It was." "For a while." " I only saw him twice!" "It said "reasonable place"." "I didn't think a house of drugs and pornography was that." "I'm sorry?" "My wife is in the pornography business" " It wasn't a safe environment." " No, this is not right." "My son was never exposed to drugs or pornographic material or any of those things." "My husband just assumed..." "I saw it with my own eye, Maggie." "Did you register a complaint?" "My client didn't officially register, Your Honor." "But I think the circumstances call for immediate action for the safety of the child." "The problem, Judge, is that my ex-wife..." "She's a sick person and she needs help." "She deals in sex and drugs for a living." "No, I don't do drugs." "Your Honor, she has been in and out of trouble with the law on several occasions for this sort of thing." "No, no." "Not anymore." "No." "Have you ever been arrested?" "Yes." "When was the last time you were arrested and what was the charge?" "Okay, okay, let's get ready for this experiment." "Hi." "Jack Horner here." "I'm in the back seat of this beautiful limousine, riding along west on Sherman Way." "And beside me is a beautiful, talented, gorgeous young actress, from adult cinema:" "Miss Rollergirl." "Hi." "Hello." "Howdy." "Are you ready to get on with this experiment?" "Ready." "Ready like Freddy." "Yes." "And we're going along, like I said, on Sherman Way, and this is called "On The Lookout"." "That's the name of the show." "On the lookout for a young stud who, maybe, will get in the back seat here and get it on with Rollergirl." "And we're going to make film history right here on videotape." " Hello." " Hi." "Waiting for someone?" "Yeah." "I'm waiting for somebody, but I'm not sure if they'll show up." "Want to wait in the car?" "Cool." "I'm Joe." "Dirk." "You know who I am?" "No." "My name's Dirk Diggler." "No." "You're a guy." "I'm just helping you out." "Yeah." "What do you see here?" "Well, I see a girl." "Do you like what you see?" " Yeah, I do." " Okay." "Get in." "Get in and let's make film history." "So..." "What do you want to do?" "It's what you want to do." "I want to watch you." "I mean, I'm not gay." "I just want to..." "Maybe you could jerk off a little and I could watch." "Maybe I'll join in later, but for now, I just want to watch." "20 bucks." "10 is all I have." "You go to school?" "Yeah, I do." "Where do you go to school?" " Is it okay if I don't tell you?" " Yeah, that's cool." " Do you recognize Rollergirl?" " Yep." "We watch her films a lot at my frat house." "I go to..." "I go to CSUN." " Wonderful." " The guys will never believe this." "We've done a whole bunch of films together, Rollergirl and I." "Do you remember me?" "We went to school together." "Your name's Brandy, right?" "Brandy's your name, right?" "No." " I don't know what you're on about." " Your name's not Brandy?" "Can you do it harder?" "Faster." "Do it a little faster" "All right." "You're hiding her again." "Just get on the other side." "That's it." "Just nice and sexy, you know?" "Now, listen, pal." "Make it a little more sexy." "Don't just ram it in there like that." "This is not a hole in the wall, pal." "This is Rollergirl." "Faster." "Do it faster." " Get your hand wet." " Be quiet." "Can you be more sexy like that?" "Cinematically sexy." "Just don't ram it." "Be respectful." "This is Rollergirl." "Are you listening to me, kid?" " I know what I'm doing." " This is stupid, Jack." "Okay, that's it." "Hold it." "Cut." "Pull over." "I can't fucking believe this!" "Jesus, you gave me a hard-on." "The least you could do is jack me off." "What the fuck did you say?" "I said it's not that cool to leave me with a hard-on." "Well, fuck you!" "I don't fucking believe this." "A fine life you've made for yourself." "You really should be proud." "I mean, really." " Fucker." " Yeah, fuck you." "And your fucking films suck now, anyway." "Come on." "I can't." "I can't get it hard." "I just can't." "I'm sorry." "You shouldn't do this sort of thing, faggot." "Get out of the car!" "Jesus, man." "No!" "Jack!" "Get him out of the fucking truck, man!" "You shouldn't be coming down here!" "Jesus Christ!" "Get off him!" "You like that?" "Amateur fucker!" "You don't ever disrespect me." "You don't ever disrespect me!" "You fucker!" " Motherfucker, look at you now!" " That's what you get, faggot!" "You think you can fuck?" "You can't fuck me, you fucker!" "You can't touch me!" "You can't touch me, you fucker!" "You don't do this, donkey-dick." "You don't!" "Fucking faggot!" "You don't ever disrespect me, you fucker!" "You fucking piece of shit!" "Fucking die, you shithead!" "What do you want?" "I want an apple fritter, jelly, chocolate with sprinkles and..." " A bear claw, too." " A bear claw?" "Okay." "Yeah." "And hurry." "How's my kung-fu fighter?" "He's kicking ass inside my stomach." "See?" "That's a boy." " I'll be right back." " Okay." " What's up?" "Can I help you?" " Yeah." "I'm going to get a dozen." "Let me get a couple of bear claws." "Couple of glazed." "Apple fritter." "No, not that one." "The one in front." "Yeah, that one, that one." "Oh, yeah and two chocolate." " Chocolate." " Old fashioned." "Two of those." "Old fashioned." "Is this..." "Did you do this for the Christmas?" "Yeah." "That's cute." "Yeah, give me two of those sprinkly Christmas things." "That's great." " How many is that?" " That's eleven." "Empty the cash register now, motherfucker!" "And hurry up!" " Jesus Christ!" " Shut the fuck up!" "Hurry up with that shit!" "No, motherfucker." "Empty the safe too, asshole!" "I ain't got all night!" "Don't even move!" " I'm not moving!" " Shut up!" "Don't fucking move, man!" "Shut the fuck up!" "Don't do that!" "No, no, no!" "You shut the fuck up!" "Gimme this." "All right, this could be the thing." "Something to help us score a little cash." "The guy's name is Rahad Jackson." "He's got more money than God." "He's got twice as much coke, crank and smack." "All right?" "This guy'll buy just about anything anybody wants to sell him." "He likes people hanging around his house, partying, the whole thing." "How do you know him?" "He used to come to Party Boys." "Mutrix introduced me." "How will we do it?" "How would it all go down?" "It'll go down like this." "I'll call him on the phone." "I'm going to tell him I've got half a kilo of quality stuff." "You have his number?" "Yeah." "I'm going to call him, I'm going to give him the price." "How much?" "It's half a key, man, so 5,000 bucks." "We'll split that up three ways." " I can get the Vette fixed." " That's right, man." "We'll do a deal, we'll drop half a key of baking soda into a bag, we'll walk over there, we're gonna..." "Boom!" "Right there." "This could be a nifty bit of hustle-bustle." " Do you have his address?" " Yeah, I got his fucking address." "Yeah, okay, question." "Sorry." "Hold on." "What if he tests the stuff out?" " He won't." " How do you know that?" "Because I know he won't." "I'm positive." "You guys should be careful." " Scotty." " What?" "What do you mean, what?" "Do me a favor, just mind your business." "What the fuck?" "Sorry." "Anyway..." "Dump it in there good and clean." "You can't lay this all on me, man." "We're going to go in there." " Okay, this is it." " Fine." "You guys ready for this?" "I am." " Dirk?" " Me?" "Yeah, I was born ready, man." " What the fuck is that?" " It's a big gun." " No shit, but why?" " Just in case." "Shit!" "Fucking great!" " You never mentioned a gun." " You have a gun too." " No, I don't have a gun!" " Relax." "Let's just get in and out, all right?" "Not too fast." "It looks suspicious." "Goddamn it!" "You all right?" "Let me do the talking." "Just be cool." "How you doing?" "Come on in." "Come on in." "Let's party." "Hey, Rahad." "Hello, friends!" " Which one is Todd?" " Yeah, that's me." "We met before, at the Party Boys." "Yeah, right, come on in." "My friends, Dirk and Reed." "Come on in." "Glad to see you." "Take a seat." "You want a pill, coke, dope?" "I got everything." "You sure you don't want something?" "So, you got something?" "We got something here?" "There it is." "That's about half a key there." " That's quality." "Want to test it?" " Don't worry about him." " Go ahead if you want." " No, wait a second." "Hold on." "I love this part." "Hear that build." "Fucking love that song!" "So anyway, what's the price?" "Maybe, I don't know..." "Five grand." "Five grand?" "All right, no problem." "That's cool." " Five grand." " Five grand." "Want to play baseball?" "No, thank you." "The black guy has a gun in his jacket." "Let's get up and get the fuck out of here." "Count the money in the car." "You want to see something really fascinating?" " Check it out." " That's sweet." " It's not loaded, is it?" " Not yet." "Is that silver?" "Let's see what happens here." " Could you not point the gun?" " You think I can't do it?" " You think I can't do it?" " No, wait." "You think I can't do it?" "You want to see me?" "Do you dare me?" "No, we don't dare you!" "Fucking dare me!" "Your fucking faces, man!" "What the fuck?" "I love this thing." "I make these little mix tapes." "I put all my favorite songs together." "Which is this?" "N 11." "I love it." "You know when you buy a tape or something or an album, you put it on, the bands put the songs in some fucking order so you listen in that order." "I hate that, being told what to listen to, when to listen to it or anything." "Fuck it!" "That's Cosmo." "He's Chinese." "That's why he likes letting off firecrackers." "Ricky Springfield." "He's a buddy of mine!" "Todd, we're leaving, man." "Dirk, let's go, all right?" "We're leaving." "Sir... we gotta split now, we gotta go." "You just got here." "Let's party." "We got somewhere else to go." "We're not leaving yet." "We're here now, and we want something else from you." "We want something else from you." "What?" "Todd, what are you doing?" "Let's go." "In the master bedroom, under the bed, in a floor safe." "Understand?" "What the fuck is the matter with you?" "Let's go." "Shut up, Dirk!" "I told you I got a plan." "I got a very good plan." " You kidding me, kitty?" " No, I'm not." "See?" "I'm not kidding." "I want what's in the safe." "We want what is in the safe in the master bedroom, in the fucking floor in the goddamn fucking floor safe!" "Todd, don't be crazy, okay?" "We don't know anything about this." "Shut the fuck up!" "Do not reach for your gun, man!" "Don't reach for your gun!" "He went in the bedroom!" "What the fuck are you doing?" "He went in the bedroom!" "Todd, when the fuck did you go crazy?" "He's got coke and cash in that safe in that bedroom." "If we leave without it, we're fucking idiots!" "We came here to do something and we can fucking do it." "You with me?" "Todd, listen to me!" "Let's just split, man!" "Let's just split right now!" "This was not supposed to be the thing!" "That's what we goddamn came here to motherfucking do!" " And that's what I'm going to do!" " Fuck, no!" "Todd, don't be fucking stupid!" "Fuck!" "Go, man!" "Come on, you puppies!" "It's coming down for puppies!" "Come on!" "Puppies!" "Come on!" "Oh, shit!" "Son of a bitch!" "Fuck!" "You fucking stupid motherfucker!" "Oh, fuck!" "Fuck!" "Bitch!" "Jack!" "Jack, could you please help me?" "I guess I wanted to come and say sorry, you know." "I want to know if you could help me." "I need help." "I'm sorry, you know?" "I need help, Jack." "I'm so sorry, Jack." "I'm sorry too, kid." "We all need to start again." "It's okay." "You're all right." "One more." "Let's go." "Take 11." "Yeah." "Did I hear someone say "deal"?" "This weekend, and this weekend only," "Buck's Super Cool Stereo Store is making super cool deals on all name brands." "We're open." "We're ready." "All you need to do is walk over, get down and come inside us." "Word!" "Cut!" "Excellent." "Buck, honey, that was great." "I said, shut up, colonel!" "Shut up, colonel!" "I said, shut up." "Wait, wait, wait!" "No, that's a Q!" "That's supposed to be a G!" "Go!" "What the heck?" "Naughty, naughty, Candice!" "I need you to push." " You ready?" " Push?" "Let's push." "Let's push, let's push." "Come on, Baby, go, go, go." "Push, push, push!" "I see a head here." " God Almighty!" "Fucking Christ!" " No, don't cuss, sweetie." "One more big push for me." "Last big push for the doctor." "This is it." "Big push." " I got it!" " He got it!" "It's a boy!" "It's a boy!" "No hurry, guys." "Sometime this year." "Put it where I told you to put it." " Maurice." " Qu' pasa, Jack?" " You got to turn the fan on." " Smells good, doesn't it?" " No, it smells like shit." " This is Puerto Rican cooking." "Everybody's complaining in the neighborhood." "This is what they're complaining about?" "Taste this." "No, I can't taste it now." "I'll taste it later." "Rollergirl." "Honey, listen to me." "Take the dirt on one side of your room and move it to the other side." "One side of the room will look clean that used to look dirty." "Johnny Weismuller!" "That's my swimmer!" "Say "Hello, Uncle Jack"." "Say "Hello, Uncle Jack"." "Who is the Olympic-fever baby?" " He won't piss in the pool?" " I don't think so." "Hey, Buck." "I got to talk to you about the stereo modification for the system." "No technical shit." "If you don't get the modification it's not going to be loud." "Loud isn't what I want." "I don't want loud." "I want..." "Mellow!" "That's what I want." "I want mellow." "Mellow." "Great, honey, great." "Are we ready?" "We have got all the time we want." "What're you looking at?" "I'm looking at you." "You're staring." "Know what I'm staring at?" "I'm staring at the foxiest bitch in the whole world." "I've been around this block twice now." "I'm looking for something." "A clue." "I was looking for clues and something led me back here." "Yeah." "So here I am." "I could have been the one at Ringo's when the shit went down." "Hey, I know how it is." "I've been there." "We've all done bad things." "We've all had those guilty feelings in our heart." "You want to take your brain out of your head and make it clean." "Well, no." "But I'm going to help you settle this." "First, we're going to check for holes, see what we can find." "Then we'll get nice and wet and you'll spread your legs." "That's good." "So you know me?" "You know my reputation." "13 inches is a tough load." "I don't treat you gently." "That's right." "I'm Brock Landers." "So I'm going to be nice." "So I'm going to be nice." "So I'm going to be nice." "I'm going to ask you one more time." "Where the fuck is Ringo?" "I am a star." "I'm a star." "I'm a star." "I'm a star." "I am a big, bright, shining star." "That's right."