"Jerry!" "How are you?" "Never better, Philip, never better." "Mr Chong." "Champagne!" " Is your brother-in-law going to be able to join us?" " Charlie?" "Yes, and he's definitely investing." " And he is bringing the cash?" " 100 grand, just as you asked." "Excellent, excellent." "Forgive me, but I ask this question to all my rollover investors..." " Ask away." " You're 450,000 up on a 50,000 investment." "Sing it to me, Jerry, sing it to me!" "Now I make my investment based upon how much insider information I can buy." "And as you know, the returns can be spectacular." "But remember, there are risks." "You're going to roll over a half-million next week..." "Here's to the beach-front villa in the Caribbean." "All right!" "Here..." "Here's Charlie now." "He's a little uncouth, but don't worry, he's a pussycat." " As long as you stay on the right side of him." " Evening, gentlemen." "Charlie, come and sit down." "The money." "So... 900% return in a week, Jerry, huh?" " Impressive." " Well..." " Ignore the little speech about how your investment can go down as well as up." "A little like my mood." "Charlie!" "The man's a genius." "He's going to make us a fortune!" "Business concluded." "But before I hand over my money, we play poker, huh?" "Sure!" "I'll see your 300." "And I raise you three more." "What's up, bratr?" "Too hot for you?" "Just warming up." "All in." "I hope you're not going to let my blubber-in-law get away with that kind of crap, Jerry." "All in." "Pocket kings." "Three bitches." "You need aces to beat that, Jerry." "That's it for me." "Cleaned me out, end of the evening." "Thank you very much, thank you." "Phil..." "Phil... are you OK?" "It's a terrible waste." "If there is anything I can do..." "You never know when your time is up." "Under the circumstances..." "Yes, under the circumstances." "My condolences again, Charlie." "Before you go, Jerry, a small matter of the half mill." "Simulation, which is to give the punter the idea something that hasn't happened has." "Next, misdirection... this is to make them look away from a crafty move." "And last but by no means least is the switch." "As the name suggests, this is to switch one thing to another without anybody noticing." "And there you have it..." "the principles of the sleight of hand." "Or as the French call it, the sleight of 'and." "That's amazing, that." "Listen, how would you feel about doing a" " weekly magic show down here, you know, for the customers?" " Eddie, we are your customers." " And we've seen it a million times before." " I do get other people down here." " We thought this was our own private bar." " No, that's just the way you treat it." " How did it go, Albert?" "Hey, let me get you a drink!" "I'll have a vodka on the rocks." "And make it a big one, Ed." "Nah, he's winding us up." "Wish I was." "What, Old Phil gone cold on us, has he?" "In a manner of speaking, yes." " He's dead." " He's what?" " Croaked." "Fell right off his perch." " How?" " Heart attack." "Middle of the poker game." "Oh, that's terrible." " We tried to revive him but we couldn't do it." " I'm so sorry, Albert." " I'm not done yet." " Look, don't worry about Charlie's money, we can..." " Yeah, we've more than covered our costs with Phil's 50 grand." " It gets even worse." "How can it be worse than the mark dying on us?" "Because fluffy Phil's brother-in-law turns out to be the not-quite-so-fluffy Charlie Kovar." "Who?" " Czechoslovakian Charlie." " The very same." " I thought we checked Phil out?" "Well, we don't check the flaming' family tree." "What's the problem with this Charlie?" "Well, Charlie wants the 50 grand that Phil invested, plus the 450,000 profit." " That was just a convincer." "There is no profit." " Precisely." "We don't have half a million pounds." "We have until the end of the week to find it." "Or..." " Charlie's trade mark is chopping bits off anyone who crosses him." " First offence, a finger." "People tend not to cross him twice." "Those that have don't wave much any more." "Third offence, it's not waving you have to worry about." "If this guy doesn't know who you really are or where we live surely you can just lay low for a while?" " For half a million, he'll find me." " Where are we going to find that kind of money in less than a week?" " It's seriously bad karma for a mark to sprout wings in mid-con." " Not so great for the cash flow, either." "I lost one to a rattle snake once." "Sneaked in the back of this guy's Cadillac, bit him on the ass." "I didn't earn a buck for six months." "Well, we have to try something." "Yeah, but 500k in a week..." "I don't know." " We need a mark." " And quick." "And one that's good for at least a half-mill." "Then I suggest we start looking." "All right, mate." "One of each." "Excuse me." "Sorry, I'm such an idiot." "Do you know where Long Lane is?" "I think it's just down there on the right-hand side." "Oh, really that's funny cos somebody said it was down there." "No, it was round to the right and down there, they said." "Definitely down there on the right." " Oh, right, OK." "Thanks." " Good luck." "All right." "Oh, I think you dropped this." "Oh, yes, thank you." "You know the restaurant San Carlos." "I understand they are so busy no-one goes there any more!" "Ha-ha-ha!" "OK, so what have we got?" " Well, I came up empty-handed." " Ash?" "I was on to a dodgy plastic surgeon but he's in the middle of an expensive court case." "Mid-air mishap with a pair of his 44 DDs." " Emma?" " Sorry." "Some interesting leads from the City but nothing liquid in our time frame." " What about you, then, Mick?" " Zilch." "No pressure, Sean." "Well..." "I don't know how much mileage there is in this." "But..." "There's this rich bloke." "He's complaining that his wife's divorce lawyers have got his nuts in the cracker." "And he says he's down to his last million." " Oh, breaks your heart, doesn't it?" " Tell me about it." "I mean this geezer lives in a 48-room mansion in Surrey which houses his multi-million pound art collection." "The art collection was excluded from the divorce because he's not allowed to sell it." " How come?" " Some clause in his great great grandfather's will forbids it." "Part of the collection is a jewel-encrusted tiger which he was due to sell to a museum for £10 million." "But the family trustees stepped in and blocked the whole thing." "The museum went ballistic." "They had a whole exhibition planned round the tiger as the centrepiece." "Lawyers, you've got to love 'em, haven't you?" "Who is he?" "His name is Luke Baincross." "He's 51 years old and nine years ago he inherited Baincross Hall." "He supports two ex-wives, soon to be three, and has a champagne lifestyle" " without ever having done a day's work in his life." " Now that's what I call a career." "What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" "!" "You can read, can't you?" "Private entrance, public entrance." " It's quite simple!" " Yes, I'm sorry, I was just turning round." "Get this bloody monstrosity of my drive now!" "You oaf." "Reverse, you cretin!" "He recently opened up Baincross Hall to the public." "The brochure states it's because he wants to share its rich heritage." "But for Lukey boy, it's just another way to line his pockets." "Bloody morons." "The Baincross family made their fortune in the Indian silk trade in the 18th century, and as a result..." " have one of the world's largest collections of Indian art." " What does he want?" "What do the greedy always want?" " Something for nothing." " Yeah." "Which is what he's had all his life." "But with his ex-wife putting the squeeze on him, seems like he could really use the £10 million." " The tiger." " Exactly." " Yeah, but he can't sell it." "No, but it'll be insured." "What else do you know about him?" "Well, his wife says he can't keep it in his trousers." "Yeah." "He looks like a slimebag." "Apparently he didn't wait long." "He started on their honeymoon with a hotel masseuse." "Since then, he's had a tennis coach..." "A yoga instructor..." "And my personal favourite..." "An Olympic gymnast." "At least he's keeping fit." "His wife says he boasts about never having paid a bean in tax and reckons he defrauded the English Heritage out of a £100,000 renovation grant to install a freshwater swimming pool." "So we've got an ageing playboy, born with a silver spoon in his mouth, who's dishonest and thinks he's God's gift to women." "Exactly the kind of man I hate." "No." "No, no." "I mean it." "Seriously, guys, no." "Oh, no." " What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" " Oh, I'm so sorry." "Oh, never mind." "The alarm's always making a bit of a song and dance." "I was just so busy ogling the architecture." "Yes." "I see what you mean." "It's utterly gorgeous." "He was built for the Maharaja of Jaipur in 1858, to celebrate the vast array of gemstones that were mined there." "There are over 5,000 precious and semi-precious stones, all inlaid into the quarter-inch gold plate." "It's quite unique." "Didn't I read somewhere that you were selling it to a museum for £10 million?" "We've had him to ourselves all these years," " we thought it was time to share him with the nation." " How noble." " Nothing to do with the ten million, then?" " I can't deny it would have its benefits." "I bet you'd know just how to spend them, too." "Well, that is a talent one perfects over time." "Seems the trustees had other ideas..." "they've blocked the bloody sale." "Oh." "Sound like a bunch of kill-joys." "Couldn't you just buy them off?" " Unswervingly incorruptible, I'm afraid." " Blackmail?" " I wish." "They are without doubt, the most virtuous, self-righteous dullards" "I've ever had the misfortune to encounter." "They wouldn't even cross the road until the little man's turned green." "I move on orange." "Sometimes red." "Oh." "Well, I suppose you could always just lend it to the museum." "In the spirit of philanthropy." "For free?" "Hardly." "Bunch of bloody pseudo-intellectual do-gooders." "This country was built by soldiers not academics." "How refreshing." "A man who speaks his mind." "Well, Mr Baincross..." "Luke, please." "Luke." "It's been a pleasure." "Perhaps I'll bump into you again soon." "Must you dash off so soon?" "There's plenty more to see." "I could show you my private collection, if you'd like that." "Shame, I've got to go." "I have a party tonight, and not a thing to wear." "Sounds perfect." " Are you going with anyone?" " Not yet." " A girl should never go to a party alone." " No?" " It sends out all the wrong signals." " Well, what would you suggest?" "An older man." "Nice and ambiguous." "Keep them guessing." "Well, where am I going to find one of those at such short notice?" "Seek, and ye shall find." "All right, give me your number and I'll think about it." "Don't think about it for too long." "I get booked up." " What did you say your name was, again?" " Anna." "Catch you later, Anna." "Not if I catch you first." "More lasers than a Jedi convention, covering a 10ft radius." "Six cameras, each with a 90-degree arc." " Dead spots?" " Three." "Here, here and here." "Now we have to assume there are pressure pads, but there's no way of knowing exactly where." "Emma, call Baincross." "Tell him there's some people you would like him to meet." "We have no time for the softly softly approach." "We have to hit him with the proposition right between the eyes." "We have to get the money by Friday." "Czech Charlie will not let this go." "We have three-and-a-half hours until party time." "Let's go." "Luke?" "It's Anna." "You all right, Dave?" "Listen, mate, we're having an impromptu party tonight." "I need some guests who won't ask questions, if you know what I mean." "I'll take that as a yes, then." "I need a dozen fake diamonds." "At least ten carats." "I need them in an hour." "Fine." "I'll be in the usual place." "See you then." "You're not going to regret this." "I was born for this grifting lark." "Well, you're not really grifting, Ed, you're more serving drinks." "Yeah, but it's all about teamwork, isn't it, hey?" "The Sting, Oceans XI and that..." "everyone playing their part." "Eddie, Eddie, take a deep breath, calm down, and listen." "I just want you to serve the drinks." "No acting, no performance, just do what you do." "OK?" "Yeah, all right, Mickey, I get you." "Come on!" "Mr Marino and myself are playing prominent businessmen who are hosting the party." "You should be friendly but treat us with a certain reverence." "Yeah." "You are playing sophisticated guests, so have fun, but keep it low key." "No throwing up behind the sofa." "Oh, and... do not initiate contact with the mark." " But if he speaks to you, be casual and brief." " He's here." "Right, places everyone." "Come on, Sean, let's make ourselves scarce." " You're early." " Am I?" "I had you down as fashionably late." "The mind was strong, but the Aston Martin was weak." "It flew like the wind." "Shall we get some naughty little drinks?" " Two glasses of champagne, please." " Certainly." "Or alternatively, I could offer you a Saint Tropez Sunset?" "Why not?" "I'm feeling adventurous." "Two Saint Tropez Sunsets coming up." " So tell me, who is it you're so keen for me to meet?" " Uncle Tony." "Little soon to be introducing me to the family, isn't it?" "On the contrary." "I think it's the perfect time for you two to meet." "Now why do I get the feeling you're plotting something?" "Because I am." "Ah!" "Anna, my dear." "Oh!" "Won't you join us, uh?" "Uncle Tony, this is Luke Baincross." "Nice to meet you, Luke." "Tony Marino." "This is my associate, Mr Michael Trent." "Please, won't you sit down." "Pleasure to met you, gentlemen." "So, Anna tells us you have a situation." "And that we may be able to help." "I told Uncle Tony about your tiger and those boring trustees." " She knows full well that I can't resist her whims." " I can imagine." "I thought the newspaper article was very intrusive." "You must never believe what you read in the British press, Mr Marino." " Nothing more than idle gossip and vindictive innuendo." " So the sale is going ahead after all?" "Oh, that." "No." "Just about the only fact in the entire article." "The bloody lawyers have kicked that idea into touch." " We should lock them all up with journalists and throw away the key." " My feeling exactly." " Shall I pour?" " No." "Forgive me for being blunt, gentlemen, but what exactly does all this have to do with you?" "We'd like to help you." "You have been plotting, haven't you?" "You'll thank me, I promise." "Go on then, talk to me." "Mr Baincross... we live in a world cynically exploited and manipulated by lawyers and insurance companies." "We simply try to, er," "I don't know, redress the balance." "Oh, how noble." "Like a cross between The A Team and Robin Hood!" "We're in the business of asset liberation and redistribution." " Oh, you're thieves?" "!" " Oh, no not me." "I'm retired, I mean I'm semi-retired." "I let Mr Trent do the dirty work." "We work for private individuals, families, companies, sometimes even governments." "Diamonds or documents, it makes no difference to us." "So let me guess." "You're proposing one night I leave my door open and you can slip in, steal my tiger, and leave me free to claim on the insurance?" "What we're proposing is a way for you to realise £10 million without so much as a whiff of suspicion of your involvement." "And no, you don't have to leave any doors open." "He's very good." "Gentlemen, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't intrigued by your idea." "But my insurance company specified security arrangements that would make such a plan quite impossible." "It costs me a fortune in equipment and guards." "Luke, nowhere is impenetrable." "Oh, I can assure you, it's like Fort Knox." "It's quite impossible." "Now, I see the dancing has begun." "So if you'll excuse me." "Shall we?" "Oh!" "He's got more hands than a gospel choir." " You did well." " You reckon he bought it?" " For sure." "What, am I missing something?" "I thought he said no." "Doesn't matter." "It's WHY he said no that counts." "He didn't say it was illegal or immoral, or even wrong." "He simply said it was impossible." "So now we just have to prove we can do it." "And quickly." "The convincer." " Exactly." " How're we going to do that without actually stealing the tiger?" "With cunning, guile and a little lateral thinking." "You know, I think we need a man on the inside." "Yeah... someone bright, able to think on their feet." " Focused." " Fearless." " A covert front-line operator." "And we think you're ready." "Yeah?" "What have I got to do, exactly?" "Now, not easy, not easy." " There you go Albert." " Oh, thanks." "Yeah..." "Close call, Jerry." "You want to watch your step." "I might not be here next time, if you catch my drift." "See you Friday." " How did it go, Albert?" "All right?" " Fine." "Damn library gave me the run-around but I got what I wanted in the end." "No word from Czech Charlie?" " No." " Let's hope it stays that way till we get his money, hey?" "Yeah." "You know I've got a good feeling about this." "I know I don't need to say this." "But I appreciate what you're all doing." "This is no walk in the park." "No, you're right." "You don't need to say it." "Sean, I'm here." " You all right, mate?" " All right." "You see the game last night?" "Oi, what do you think you're doing?" "Do you know how old that is?" "Kids, eh?" "No respect for culture." "Oi." "You missed a bit." "That's it." "OK, a bit smaller?" "Good." "Perfect." "I hope you brought the sandwiches." "I'm starving." "I just wanted you to know, Michael, that if things don't work out, I'm going to walk the plank." "There's no need for everyone to take the heat." "Albert, if things don't work out, we'll take the heat together." "We're a team, remember?" "United we stand, and all that." "Charlie doesn't know there's any connection." "I'll just go travelling for a while." "I could use a little break." "Nice try, Albert." "I'm serious, Michael." "So am I." " Right, you all set?" " Yeah." "Ready to roll." "Right, let's go." "Clear of security cameras for five seconds in three, two, one, go." "All right, get ready." "Three, two, one, stop." "Clear again in three, two, one..." "Hang on, stop!" "Sorry about that... go." " Ten seconds." " All right, steady." "Nearly there." "The camera's moving back round." "Three seconds left..." "Two, one." "That's it." "Yeah." "500,000." "Payable within 12 hours of the tiger being reported stolen." "Why should I pay you a fee?" "The gems alone are worth five times that." "You could never sell that tiger on the black market." "The moment you reported it stolen, your insurance company will contact Interpol." "They have detailed records of every single stone." "And even if you found a fence dumb enough to buy them, they would only be worth a fraction of their legitimate value." "Part of what you're paying us for is to ensure the tiger disappears for good." " We wouldn't want it come back to bite you." " What will you do with it?" "Well, from what I hear, tigers don't swim too well." "Very well, gentlemen, you have a deal." "But." "And it's a big "but"." "It can't be taken from the hall." "I believe we've just proved we can." "Oh, I've no doubt you're capable of it." "I'm completely flabbergasted how you got through my security systems." "My insurance company would never pay out." " Ensuring you can't be implicated is all part of the service." " It doesn't matter." "They paid out a few years ago on a million pound claim." "An admittedly rather clumsy fire in one of the galleries." "They suspected foul play and, even though they couldn't prove anything, I'm now on a watch list." "Any claim would spend years under investigation." "It cannot be taken from Baincross Hall." "Keep thinking, gentlemen." " Why didn't we know about the insurance claim?" " Must have been kept out of the papers." "He's on an insurance watch list." " We should have known." " We're doing all this at a gallop, Mick." "It's too late to find another mark." "We have to make this work, we have to" " change his mind somehow." " By Friday." "What if Luke lends it to the museum that was going to buy it?" " And we take it from there." " The British Colonial." " You'd have to sort the insurance." "You can't do that overnight." " No, it's all planned out." "The tiger's supposed to be the centre piece of an exhibition that starts next week." " The insurance is in place." " We'd have to recce the place, plan it and wrap it up," " all by the end of the week." " We've faced bigger challenges." " Not with this kind of deadline." " Do we have a choice?" "Ash, we need that half mil." "Someone was in looking for a "Jerry" earlier." "Matched your description, actually Albert." "Let me guess." "Eastern European." "About this high, face like a catcher's mitt?" "Yes." "That's him, that's the fella." "He's a nice bloke." "Anyhow he said he'd call by again on Friday." "What?" "The British Colonial?" "Impossible." "That's what you said about this place." "True." "But that would be seriously impressive." "You leave the impossible to us." "All you have to do is make sure the tiger's transferred tomorrow." " Why so soon?" " Let's just say a window of opportunity has presented itself." " The less you know, the better." " Fair enough." "Just think of all that lovely publicity." "Such a magnanimous gesture." "You'll be the darling of the art world for years." "Especially if the loan is in perpetuity." "Yes." "Although it pains me to think of the publicity I'll be giving to that ghastly female curator." "Why on Earth would you give a woman such an important job?" "!" " Still, all for the greater good, I suppose." " No time to lose." "Just think." "This time next week." "Ten million pounds." "For that kind of money even I can swallow my pride." "Miss Baboor, Luke Baincross." "If I were you I'd put a sock in it and start sucking up to me big time." "Because I'm giving you the tiger for free in perpetuity, that's why." "Good morning, I am Nishka Baboor, curator." "Oh, hello." "Robert Wheeler, Trident Factors." "You can call me Rob." "I believe my assistant called and made an appointment." " Yes, that's correct." " I need to do an assessment for the underwriters." "Although the tiger will be your legal responsibility, and covered by your insurance, we need to confirm your... security measures and check all your procedures and that." "Of course." "Please, follow me." "You must be very pleased then at Mr Baincross's offer." "Oh, yes." "I cannot tell you how thrilled we are." "Absolutely delighted." "It is a most important piece, and to have it here..." "Well, it means a great deal." "It will be the star of the new exhibition, just as we planned." "Must be a very generous man then, this Mr Baincross." "I want you to know that I supervise all high value collections myself." "We have our own security vehicle with an additional security team." "I let nothing out of my sight from the moment" "I sign the transfer documents to the time we return here." " Right." " We have five galleries over three floors." "Each gallery has reinforced steel doors, ambient air temperature sensors, pressure pads and motion detectors." "In the event that any of these are activated, there's automatic shutdown of the lifts and all entry points are sealed with security shutters." "The tiger will go directly into the gallery but if for any reason we arrive after six when the gallery is closed, it will be stored overnight in our high security vault." "So you see, Mr Wheeler, the tiger will be completely safe with us." "You'd certainly think so, wouldn't you?" "Is it always this cold down here?" "The storage areas are all kept at 15 degrees." "It helps to prevent deterioration of the older and more delicate artefacts." "And as if the security in the rest of the museum was not enough..." "Welcome to the vault, the most secure 200 square feet in London." "250 mil concrete, reinforced with ten mil steel mesh." "400 mil steel door, with ten bolts, and a four digit entry code." "Oh, and the control panel can only be opened from the security suite after they've had a visual on CCTV." "Just so we're all clear." "If the tiger ends up in the vault, that's it." "We'll never get it out." "When it arrives, does it go automatically into the vault?" "Only if it's late." "At the moment the truck is scheduled to arrive back at the museum at 5pm." "At which point the tiger will be unloaded from the crate and delivered straight to the third floor gallery." "The gallery porters knock off at 6pm sharp, so if the truck is late then the tiger will spend the night in the most secure 200 square feet in London." "And we're up the proverbial." "We just have to make sure we get the truck back before six." "So that it definitely gets into the gallery." "Right, everyone, four hours until Baboor collects the tiger." "Let's get to work." "Good morning." "OK, here's what I'm going to need." " Miss Baboor." " Mr Baincross." "How lovely to see you." "It gives me enormous pleasure to hand over responsibility of the tiger to you." "On behalf of the many thousands of visitors who will enjoy the tiger for years to come, thank you." "Please." "Magnificent." "Thank you." " I have the forms for you to sign." " Of course." "Yours in perpetuity." "Almost too good to be true." "Bloody car alarm!" "Makes more noise than my ex-wives put together." "Where are my bloody keys?" "Look after it, won't you?" "Thank you." "OK." "Yeah, the truck's just leaving." "We've got 30 minutes until the museum porters knock off." " Which way now, Sean?" " It's the next left." "All right." "Listen, guys, just so I know, what's our Plan B?" "You just concentrate on the navigating." "What's going on?" "You're not going to believe this." " Well, do something." " Like what?" "I don't know." "Shoo them away." "They're not here yet." "Any progress?" "No." "It's getting worse." "Here it is." "Four minutes past six." "So what is going to happen to the tiger?" "We just got back." "Is the truck there yet?" "Well, is it going in the vault or not?" "OK." "All right, we'll see you later." "They don't know yet." "Got there just after six." "This is going to be a long night." "Well, you better make it two then." "Control, it's me, activate the panel, please." "'lf the tiger ends up in the vault, that's it, we'll never get it out.'" " Morning." " Morning." "Hi, control, it's me, can you activate the panel?" "Control, where's the tiger?" " 'Sorry, say again.'" " Where's the bloody tiger!" "?" "Baincross..." "Ah, Miss Baboor, good morning." "I can only assume this is some kind of lame attempt at a joke." "But I can assure you, I'm not amused." "What do you mean, it's vanished?" "It's not a bloody necklace." "What are the police saying?" "Well, you'd better get me an explanation, and quick." "Good, I'll be waiting." "Don't bother with that, missy, go and put something on ice." "They arrived at 9.28." "They move towards the rear of the building." "But when we cut to this camera, they've disappeared." "How did they get in?" "That's not clear at the moment." "How do you know that's them?" "Could be just random oiks wandering about." "That's a public road, isn't it?" "Yes, but if we fast forward 18 minutes, you can see that the van has been moved." "And if you look here, that's definitely the tiger." "Good lord." "That's remarkable." "Into the van, and they're off." " Extraordinary!" " I am so sorry." "I have no idea how this happened." "Baincross." "Yes, that's right." "It'll be there." "At the moment, the truck is scheduled to arrive back at the museum at 5pm." "At which point, the tiger will be unloaded from the crate and delivered straight to the third floor gallery." "The gallery porters knock off at 6pm sharp, so if it comes back late the tiger will spend the night in the most secure 200 square feet in London." "And we're up the proverbial." "Well, we just have to make sure we get the truck back before six." "So that it definitely gets into the gallery." "No." "No, we want the opposite." "We only have to give the illusion of stealing the tiger from the vault." "I think we need to call on Pete." "What?" "Slushpuppy Pete?" "If it can't be taken from Baincross Hall and it's impossible to steal it from the museum, so..." "Sleight of hand." " I have the forms ready for you to sign." " Of course." "Yours in perpetuity." "Almost too good to be true." "Bloody car alarm." "Makes more noise than all my ex-wives put together." "Where are my bloody keys?" "We need to delay the truck so it arrives at the museum after 6pm when the porters knock off." "Come on!" "Come on!" "At which point, the tiger will spend the night in the vault." "The vault has its own air conditioning system and we'll make sure it's nice and toasty." "I've come to check the vault's air conditioning." "Oh, such a waste after all Pete's hard work." " You're sure it'll be good for six hours, yeah?" " No problem." "And we will need to make a trip to the florists." "OK, here's what I'm going to need." "I'll take all your bouquets if you let me take all your oasis." "Ah, for me." "Oh, thank you, Albert." "So, as far as the museum is concerned, the tiger left Baincross Hall, spent the night in the vault and then in the morning..." "Control, where's the tiger?" "Sorry, say again." "Where's the bloody tiger!" "?" "We only have to convince Luke long enough for him to hand over the 500,000." "They arrived at 9.28." "They move towards the rear of the building." "And if you look here..." "That's definitely the tiger." " Good lord." "That's remarkable." " Into the van, and they're off." "Extraordinary." "Meeoooow." "Yeah, hello." "I've got information about the theft of that tiger from Baincross Hall." "Good luck." "Hello again, Mr Baincross." " I take it from your dramatic arrival you have some news?" " Indeed we do." "What?" "You haven't found the tiger, have you?" "We think so, yes." "Wait a minute, where are you going?" "You'd better have a search warrant!" "From the chief inspector." "He'll be here shortly." "How on Earth did that get in there?" "I can't imagine." " What will you do with it?" " Well, from what I hear, tigers don't swim too well." "The bastards!" "What do you think you're doing?" "You can't arrest me here." "I'm in the grounds of my own home." "You'll have a chance to explain everything to your insurance company, with a lawyer present." " You smug, jumped up..." " Don't worry, I promise to take good care of the tiger for you." "In perpetuity." "You can't arrest me..." "Drink up, everyone!" "Your trust has been rewarded." "Er, excuse me, you've got a visitor." " Ah, Charlie." " You have my money?" "Of course, of course." "Just come with me here." "These are my regular investors." "We're celebrating our latest little windfall." "Let me see now, how much was that?" "I can't recall..." "I guess it was a half a mill." "100, 200, 300, 400, 500..." "Half mil." "Let me get you a little bag for that." "Good to see you again, Charlie." "And one final toast!" "To the big one next week!" "To the big one!" "Charlie, won't you join us for a glass?" "Sure, why not?" "So, tell me, what's this big one next week?" "I'm having troubles, you know, no-one listens to me." "I want to go out there and do my own thing, you know, part of my own gang." "It's tough." "You take the top one off and put the ace underneath." "Here, you have a go." "Tiger, tiger, burning bright..." "What beautiful eyes you have..." "Oh, it's just fallen out." "Yeah, very funny guys." "Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd"