"Z, my name is Zippy And my husband's name is Zorro" "And we come from Zanzibar-o Where we sell zippers" "My turn." "You don't know how to jump rope." "Oh, yes, I do." "Make the rope go." "A, my name is Michelle" "B, my name is Michelle" "Should we tell her she's doing it wrong?" "No, she wouldn't believe us anyway." "D, my name is D. J." " Michelle, you got that one right." " All right." "Good." "N-M-N-O-P" "I'm Michelle." "All right, Jojo, we got our campaign." ""Ocean Nice Sardines:" "the snack fish o' the '90s."" "Now all we need is a voice for our spokesfish, Eugene the sardine." "Here." "You're the voice man." "Do your thing." "I got it." "Eugene the surfing sardine." "[SPEAKS LIKE SURFER] Whoa, like, surf's up, fish freaks." "Whoa, bummer, dude." "What's that gnarly smell?" "Whoa, it's me." "No, Joseph, you're not thinking like a sardine." "Now, in order to sound like a sardine, you must eat a sardine." "All right?" "You are what you eat." "Now, snorkel down one of these silver puppies." " Put one of these in my mouth?" " Come on, it's food." " Yeah, if you're a seal." "You eat it." " I'm not eating that bait." "You're doing the voice" " It's very simple." "Open your mouth and say: ah...." "Now, let's hear that sardine voice." "You're a dead man." "Whoo." "Ho-ho." "No chance of Baskin-Robbins making that a flavor." "I did a real fun voice on my tape recorder this morning." "Hey, where did my little tape recorder go?" "Ha-ha-ha-ha." "Oh, now, that's a suspicious little giggle." "Michelle, do you know where my little tape recorder is?" "Yes, I do." "And where is my tape recorder?" "The tape recorder is hiding." "It's not fun to hide other people's things." "It is for me." "Little puppies aren't half bad." "Look, I found this tape recorder in my cereal box." "This is a much better prize than those little plastic dinosaurs." "Thank you, I'll take that." "Oh, look what I found." "Nuts." "Okay, I'm on Saturday bathroom patrol." "Wait, I thought you had a date with Joan What's-Her-Name." "No, it's June What's-Her-Name." "It's Jane What's-Her-Name." "And it doesn't matter, because I broke off the date." "You broke off another date?" "What's the problem with this one?" "I thought you really liked her." "I did." "But I don't know." "There was just no future in it." "I took a look at her and one of her earlobes was a bit bigger than the other." "Sometimes I wonder if there's anybody out there who's right for me." "Don't worry, Dad." "You're the greatest." "I'm sure you'll find someone with even earlobes." "Thanks, Deej." "Who wants to help clean the soap dishes?" " Hi!" "DANNY:" "Hey, Steph." " Karen's dance class was great!" " Thanks for giving Steph a ride, Karen." "No problem." "It's on my way home." "Steph, what did you learn from Karen today?" "I learned that you still owe her a check for my lessons." "Well, that's not all she learned." "Oh, I'm sorry." "I forgot." "It's okay." "I know where you live." "Show your dad what we're working on." "Okay." "D.J., go put on some music." "Why do I have to put on the music?" "Because your name is D.J." "Okay, everybody, I just learned this in class today." " Let's see what you got." " Okay, ready?" " Yep." " Hit it." "[BOBBY BROWN'S "MY PREROGATIVE" PLAYS]" "JOEY:" "Yeah." "DANNY:" "Yeah." "Good job, Steph." " Try it with me, Dad." " Okay." "You know, sometimes grace and coordination skip a generation." "Like this, Daddy." "Now, this I can do." "I don't know that step." "How does it go?" "It's" " Let's show her, Michelle." "More arms." " Steph, come with me." " But" " But" " Excuse us." " This better be important." " It is." "Dad wants a girlfriend." "Karen's earlobes are both the same size." "They're the perfect couple." "We just have to figure a way to get them alone together." "How can they be alone if they're together?" "Just stop thinking and help me think." "How can I think if I stop thinking?" "New plan." "I work alone." "Okay, but I got a great plan to get Karen to stay for lunch." "Well, what is it?" "We ask her." "Okay, now, you all know what to do." "Karen, sit right here." " Thanks for inviting me to lunch, D.J." " Sure." "Okay, I have everyone's sandwich, just the way they want them." "Turkey, all white meat." "Turkey and Swiss." "Swiss, no turkey." "Turkey, all dark meat, extra tomato." "Turkey, extra turkey." "Turkey, half dark meat, half white meat." "And peanut butter and banana, hold the turkey." "[INDISTINCT CHATTER]" "This baby is mine." " Dad, we saved you a seat right here." " Just a second." "I just want to do a little pre-rinse before the really big wash after lunch." "Isn't he a gem?" "He's gonna make some woman a very happy man." "Oh, and talk about perfect sandwiches." "When he goes down the poultry aisle, all the turkeys yell:" ""Take me, take me."" "That's why we call him Mr. Turkey." "Oh, this is so nice." "I can't remember the last time we were all together for a Saturday lunch." "D.J.:" "Well, I gotta do my homework." "JESSE:" "Me too." "Let's go." "Enjoy, now." " Come on, Michelle, let's go." " I have to eat in my room." "You don't have to eat in your room." "D.J. told me I do." "Have a nice lunch." "[ROMANTIC MUSIC ON RECORDER]" "It looks to me like we've been set up here." " I swear, I had nothing to do with this." " I know that." "We're just friends." "That's right, we're buddies." "What did they think would happen?" "They'd light a candle and they'd leave us alone and then I'd just look into your beautiful deep blue-gray eyes then our lips would move closer as if some magnetic force stronger than both of us was pulling us together." "All right, Dad!" "We just had a homework question." "We'll ask later." "D.J.:" "Yes!" "Karen, I gotta tell you a little secret." "Ever since Stephanie's first dance class I've kind of had a crush on you." "Oh, well, I have to tell you a little secret." "Your house isn't really on my way home." "Really?" "Well, in that case, what do you say we turn this into a real date?" "I know this great restaurant in Chinatown that has the best dim sum." "I'd love some dim sum." "Then let's get some." "Dim sum, here I come." "This is a joke." "Girls, get in here!" " What is it?" " What happened?" "I lost my keys." "I gotta meet my band and open up the hall." "Has anybody seen them?" " Not me." " Not me." "What did I do?" "Michelle, you've been playing that hiding game all day, haven't you, young lady?" " Yes, I was." " All right." "Show me everything you hid, right now." "I'm not busy." "Follow me." "Don't you have an extra set of keys?" "If I did, would I be at the mercy of a 3-year-old?" "People, I'm waiting!" "This is my room and this is my pencil bed." "Cut the guided tour and show us the loot." "Okay, okay." "I hid this." "Michelle, that's my Milli Vanilli tape." "And you called me a Milli Vanilli thief." "I demand an apology." "In your dreams." "I accept." "Hey, Michelle, while I'm young." "Here, Stephie." "Michelle, my sparkle pen." "You're old enough to hear this now:" "How rude." "Why does she always say that?" "Michelle, I'm growing a beard here." "Come on, I'm late." "Where are my keys?" "Now, here." "Are you happy now?" "Yeah, I'd be happy if I was driving a Fisher-Price Harley." "Come on." "Now, we're gonna retrace every single step you took today." " You got it?" " You got it, dude." "All right." "Now, where did you go after you were downstairs?" "To the potty." "This is gonna be a long day." "[SINGING]" "Blue moon" "I can't believe we were singing doo-wop songs on the ferry in front of those people." "I can't believe we made $11." "I think they liked you better than our singing." "I had a really good time with you, Karen." "I hate to see this day end." "Me too." "Why don't you come in." "I wasn't expecting company, but I can make some coffee." "Coffee's great." "This was the perfect day, with the perfect woman." "I'll bet you even make the perfect cup of co" "Call the police." "You've been robbed." "I haven't been robbed." "I've been busy with dance classes and everything else..." "I haven't tidied up in a while." "Since when?" "The '60s?" "Okay, so I'm a little behind on my housekeeping." "No big deal." "This mess isn't a problem, is it?" "Messy room?" "A problem for me?" "[CHUCKLING] No." "Great." "I'll make some coffee." "Danny, are you cleaning up my apartment?" "No, I was just looking for your coffee table." "Found it." "Forget about that mess." "How do you take your coffee?" "Clean." "I mean, in a clean cup." "With milk and coffee, of course and some Sweet'N Tidy, Clean'N Low." "Just black would be fine." "You seem a little tense." "You wanna sing "Blue Moon" again?" "No." "Don't worry about me." "I'm as loose as a goose." "Come on." "All right." "Attaboy." "Attagirl." "You know, it's amazing how your life can change in an instant." "One minute I was eating a turkey sandwich and next thing you know, I was kissing you." "Surprised me too." " What are you doing?" " Nothing." "Danny, you were rolling my socks while we were kissing." "All right, it's true." "I was making out and folding laundry." "Karen, listen to me." "I can open up a whole new world for you." "A wondrous world of mops and brooms and DustBusters dishes you can see yourself in and tabletops that smell like lemon trees and toilet water as blue as a Jamaican lagoon." "Danny, you're scaring me." "Well, Karen, your furniture's under here somewhere." "Don't you wonder what it looks like?" "Isn't there a place you can go for help?" "Like Overcleaners Anonymous." "Very funny." "Maybe we don't have as much in common as we thought we did." "Maybe I should just go." " I'm sorry." " Me too." " Bye." " Bye." "Please." "Just tell me where you hid Uncle Jesse's keys so we can get on with the rest of our lives." "I did not hide the key." "I know what will make you talk." "It's time for the tickle rockets." "Whoosh." "Okay." "Now, where are the keys?" "I don't know." "Tickle me again." "Michelle, look what I have." "A Popsicle!" "Take a lick." "You can have the rest when you tell us where the keys are." "I don't know." "This is crazy." "I went through every trash can in this house, still no keys." "She won't crack." "Maybe she really didn't do it." "Oh, sure." "The jails are full of people who swear they didn't do it." "Come here, you." "Now, listen." "I know that you took my keys." " I did not." " You did too." " I did not." " You did too." " I did not." " You did too." " I did not." " Hey, Jess, I got you more sardines." "By the way, you left your keys in the front door." " What?" "I did not." " Did too." " Did not." " Did too." " Did not." " Did too." "[GASPS]" "Michelle, you really didn't take my keys." "I told you so." "Will you forgive me and still be my best friend?" "Well, why not?" " Popsicle, please." " Here you go." " Hey, everybody." "STEPHANIE:" "Hey, Dad." "What's going on?" "So, what happened with Karen?" " I had a very nice time." "JESSE:" "All right." " All right." " We're the love connection." "It's not what you think." "Karen and I decided we're just gonna be friends." "I'm sorry, Dad." "But don't worry." "Steph and I know plenty of single women." " Come on, let's go start making a list." " Okay." "How about that lady who cuts Dad's hair?" "Steph, that's a man." "It is?" " So, what excuse did you use this time?" " What do you mean?" "I mean, you find something wrong with every girl you go out with." "I don't know what you're talking about." "Come on, Michelle." "Let's finish that Popsicle in the kitchen." " I'll see you." " Come on, Jess." " Help me with Danny." " I gotta go to my rehearsal." "You're already six hours late." "What's a couple more minutes?" "All right, Danny, what happened?" "We had a great time." "We went out for Chinese food we sang on the ferry and then we went to her apartment." "Her apartment?" "Oh, yeah." "Well, it was then that I found out that I had spent the entire day kissing a slob." "No!" "Her place was a pigsty." "There were clothes everywhere." "I thought her hamper exploded." "Why is it every girl I go out with has something wrong with her?" "Maybe it's bad luck." " Maybe it's fate." " Maybe it's you." "How could it be me?" "You're going nuts looking for the perfect woman." "There's no such thing as the perfect woman." "Yes, there is." "I was married to her." "Hey, Pam was my sister and I loved her very, very much." "But come on, man, she was always late she spent way too much time in the bathroom." "When I was little, she used to hold me down and stick carrots up my nose." "Trust me, she wasn't perfect." "She seemed perfect to you because you loved her." "The bottom line here is that you're afraid to get close to somebody." "You look for something wrong in girls you go out with." " I do that?" " Yes, Mr. Her-Earlobes-Aren't-Perfect." "You gotta start looking for what's right in people." "Or you're gonna miss out on somebody who could make your life a lot happier." "Think about it." "Okay." "I gotta go to my rehearsal." "I'll see you guys." "See you." "Where are my keys?" "Right here." "Give me a break." "How do they get keys!" "Hey, Michelle, look." "Big Bird." "Danny." "Hi, Karen." "Can I come in?" "Sure." "I'm sorry." "I came in here before and I saw this mess and" "Am I in the right apartment?" "Yes, Danny." "Believe it or not, I do know how to clean up." "Karen, I didn't give you a fair chance." "I didn't give us a fair chance." "Well, it just seems like you cared more about my mess than me." "Well, the truth is, I really started to like you and it scared me." "But from now on, I'm gonna be a lot more flexible and more willing to compromise because you are the best thing that's come into my life since Spray 'n Wash." "I'll take that as a compliment." " So will you go out with me again?" " Of course I will." " Do you mind if I hug you?" " Hug away." "I do this a lot." "You better get used to it." "Your place looks so nice." "Yeah, but I don't know where anything is." "Where did you put all your stuff?" "Right here." "Don't worry, I remember where everything goes." "These magazines, yeah, they were, like, right there." "Subtitles by SDI Media Group" "[ENGLISH SDH]"