"Middleburg is a middle-size town in the middle of the country." "But sometimes, in my dreams, it felt like someplace else." "Somehow familiar, but also very strange." "Middleburg is where i live, and so does something... else." "Some people thought middleburg was dull, that nothing ever happened here." "Well, they were very wrong." "Francis?" "Francis, time to get up, honey." "Franny?" "My name is francis bacon mccausland." "I'm fourteen years old." "That morning i was extremely tired." "It's so dark." "Must be a storm front moving in." "Not according to the barometer." "Maybe it's the end of the world." "It sure feels like it." "How would you know what the end of the world felt like?" "You've never felt it before, have you?" "Maybe the clocks are wrong." "Hope springs eternal." "I always set our clocks by the naval observatory web site." "I'll check it out." "Bert, trash, and don't forget the paper." "Why do i always have to take out the garbage?" "Because with age comes responsibility, bert." "When you go to college, your sister, francis, will take the trash out." "I wanna get a dog, so he could eat the garbage, and he could fetch the newspaper." "Dogs have germs." "What would you do with it when you went to college?" "They don't allow dogs in the dorm room." "Maybe you could put it on the roof." "Get real, francis." "Grow up, bert." "Get a real grown-up." "Aw, jeez, what happened to the eggs?" "There were two dozen eggs in the fridge last night." "Now there aren't any." "Cold cereal again." "I didn't do anything with 'em." "No one's blaming you, francis." "I'm the one they always blame for everything." "That's because you have so much pent up aggression." "I do not!" "All right, you two!" "We're not talking about aggression right now." "That's what family time is for." "Now we are simply trying to determine what has happened to the eggs." "It's 4:23 a.m." "the clocks say 7:23." "The clocks are wrong." "I told you it was the end of the world." "It was hard to get back to sleep." "I kept wondering why all the clocks had been sped up." "But i knew there had to be a logical explanation." "Hee hee hee." "That's it." "Come here." "Come here." "Ha ha ha." "Most kids my age go to middle school, but i skipped a grade." "Hi, bert." "Hey." "You shouldn't waste a lot of time growing up." "Jo?" "Oh!" "Hi." "Hi." "So, um, why don't you want to take the bus to school?" "Joanne, nobody rides the bus to high school." "It's just for children." "I wish i could skip a grade so i could go to high school." "Bert does have another year after this, doesn't he?" "If he's lucky." "Well, why do you care when bert graduates?" "Ahh... did i tell you our alarm clocks went off three hours early this morning?" "Really?" "Yep." "And mom says the neighbor's clocks were wrong too." "Can you believe that?" "Well, yeah." "Our clocks did the exact same thing." "They were all three hours early." "It's so weird." "Well, it's only weird because you don't have a logical explanation for it." "Uh, why is that dog on the roof?" "Now that's weird." "Maybe it was some kind of magnetic... you know..." "like... like a power surge." "Why would that make dogs get on the roof?" "I was talking about the clocks being wrong." "Good morning, francis." "Good morning, mr." "Kepler." "He's my biology teacher." "He really likes me." "Does he make you cut up frogs and stuff?" "That is so gross." "I love biology." "See, yesterday we got take this chicken embryo" "why is that guy staring at us?" "What... guy?" "Well, we was just right there." "Ok, francis." "I gotta get going, but i'll see you here after school." "Ok?" "Ok." "Ah, gorgeous." "The egg, or ovum, may be surrounded by as many as three protective membranes." "Ha ha ha ha ha!" "Ho ho ho ho!" "Hee hee hee hee!" "Huh?" "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "What is this?" "That's the wonder of the egg." "And now, the secondary membrane-- do you have a question, francis?" "Actually i do, mr." "Kepler." "Ahh, did your alarm clock go off three hours early this morning?" "How could you know that?" "Oh, a lot of clocks were wrong." "And, uh, see, i've been taking a statistically accurate sampling of the whole school, getting names, and addresses, and phone numbers-- you know, to see if it all happened in one area." "May i see that, please?" "Oh, yeah." "Who did this?" "Do you know anything about this, francis?" "He was in your science class?" "Not really in the class, he was just sitting on the shelf." "He was what?" "Oh, look!" "There's another one." "How'd you get up there in the first place, charlie?" "That is so weird." "What if a helicopter flew over so low that the dogs thought they could catch it, and chased it right up the roof?" "That's a logical explanation, isn't it?" "Sure, jo." "Hi, bert." "Whatever." "Have you got a crush on bert?" "No!" "Yes, you do!" "No, i don't!" "Well, he is kinda cute." "Well, you should see his room." "If you think dissecting a frog is gross-- i think it's really brave what he did for your little brother." "All he had to do was lie there." "But i hear it really hurts when they stick those needles in you." "It must be really great to save someone's life." "It was the doctors who saved darwin's life." "Well, you better not tell bert anything about me thinking he's cute." "Yeah, right." "Like i'm gonna say anything to bert about anything." "Promise?" "I promise." "Cross your heart and hope to die." "Stick a needle in your eye." "Grow up, joanne." "Look, i gotta get to swimming practice, but i'll see you tomorrow." "Ok." "Oh, are you trying out for the high school team?" "They're all older than i am." "Oh, it doesn't matter in swimming, that just means you're more streamline." "Bye." "Bye." "Are you following me?" "Yeah, i'm talking to you." "You can see me?" "Well, yeah." "Strange things were happening that day." "All over middleburg." "Someone put a little gelatin in the school swimming pool." "Help!" "Hang on!" "I'll get you out." "Now, grab onto this." "A colony of bees colonized the principal's office." "School buses developed unexplained leaks." "And then there was the graffiti." "Nobody knew who was responsible." "Nobody knew who to blame." "Aw, yuk." "Aw, nanook-- aaahhhhhh!" "Franny!" "Why've you always got to blame me for everything?" "It's called inductive logic." "Look, if you want everybody to know you skipped a grade why don't you just wear a sign?" "Bert?" "She's the one that started it." "No one blaming anyone, bert, for anything." "Of course not." "It's just that studies of various cultures show that pranks like these are usually the work of adolescents." "You know, i remember when i was fifteen-- you rolled a yard with toilet paper." "We were just discussing whether any of the kids at school are talking about anything." "You know, like setting the clocks forward, or putting something in the water at the pool." "What happened to all the gelatin?" "Huh?" "I was going to make my wiggly fruit thing for dinner tonight." "Well, i didn't take it." "Well, no one's saying you did, bert." "Well, if it's not in the cabinet, then somebody had to take it." "It's the only logical conclusion." "Parents are always ready to believe you've done something bad." "What?" "It's like they never forget they had to change your diapers." "But, at least your friends have more faith in you." "Hi, jo." "How could you do this?" "Jo loves bert!" "You promised!" "Jo, i didn't do this." "Get real, francis!" "Jo!" "Joanne!" "Forget it!" "If i thought it was strange at home, school was even stranger." "I'm telling you, she's the one who did it." "Is there something interesting about my locker?" "Why is yours the only one without a "b" on it?" "Maybe she's the one who did it." "Grow up, people." "Just because they skipped my locker it doesn't mean i had anything to do with" "see, it is her." "Hey, did you really egg creepy kepler's car?" "Who told you that?" "That's what everybody says." "They said you did the lockers too." "I think that's really cool." "It's not cool, it's vandalism." "What does "b" stand for?" "You know, i did not put a "b" on all the lockers!" "Well, who did then?" "I" "i'm gonna find out." "Aren't ya gonna run away this time?" "I didn't really run away." "Yes." "You did!" "I just needed some space to evaluate the situation." "I didn't know you could see me." "Why wouldn't i be able to see you?" "Nobody else can." "Yeah, right." "All right." "Ooohh!" "Yeaaahh!" "Ooow!" "Well, that's stealing, you know?" "He knows he shouldn't eat this stuff." "It makes his face break out." "Well, what's your name, anyway?" "Houdini." "Larry houdini." "Oh, i guess you're almost named after harry houdini?" "That-that's really funny." "It's better than being named after francis bacon." "I don't like bacon." "Well-- houdini's not even a real name." "I'm not a real person." "I'm... an imaginary friend." "Thank you very much!" "Thank you very much!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Whoo!" "Whoo!" "Whoo!" "Well, that's really cute, but i do not have an imaginary friend." "Did i say i was your imaginary friend?" "I don't think so, miss francis." "Well, if you're not my friend, then why are you following me around?" "Are you sure i'm following you?" "Maybe you're just imagining." "No!" "Seriously, fran, do you mind if i call you fran?" "Yeah, actually i do." "I think i must have been sent here to help you." "That's probably why you can see me." "Oh, you know, i don't need any help, real or imaginary." "Oh, contraire." "There's something very peculiar going down in this burg, watson." "And it looks to me like... you're in the middle of it." "Look, i don't care what they said, but i did not egg mr." "Kepler's car." "I know you didn't." "Ok." "I know who did." "It was the boogeyman." "The boogeyman?" "Um-hmm." "And i think he's got it in for you, fran." "I think you're being... framed." "Excuse me!" "I'm-i'm really sorry." "Umm, does anybody know who this guy is?" "What is she talking about?" "He says his name is larry houdini." "Does anybody know who he really is?" "Francis mccausland." "To the office please." "Francis mccausland." "To the office." "I see your middle name is bacon." "That is bacon with a "b", correct?" "Is there a bacon without a "b"?" "Francis, it has been suggested that you might know something about the unusual events that have been happening the past few days." "We have reason to believe there was a plan among a large number of students to set clocks to the wrong time as a sort of mass prank." "You had that list of students you were checking with to make sure they set their clocks forward." "What?" "Back." "You set them back to make the alarms go off earlier." "You set them forward." "It's like daylight savings time." "Fall back." "Spring forward." "No." "Fall forwards." "Spring back." "Can we forget about the clocks... for a moment?" "Spring forward." "Francis, do you have any knowledge about mr." "Kepler's car being vandalized?" "No!" "Or about the graffiti on the lockers?" "No!" "Don't forget the gelatin in the swimming pool." "No!" "How do you feel, francis, about all these things?" "Do you have any insights?" "Yes." "Yes, actually i do." "There's this boy... and he's been following me around." "Well, he's really weird." "He said his name was larry houdini." "Well, he said a lot of silly things." "Did he say he knew who was behind the pranks?" "Well, actually-- well, there he is!" "He's right there!" "Hey!" "Come here, you!" "Francis." "Francis!" "Ohh!" "Ohh!" "Ohh!" "Ya!" "Ya!" "Ya!" "Ya!" "Ya!" "Hey!" "You!" "Come here!" "Houdini kid, come here!" "Hey!" "What's with her?" "Come back here!" "Quick!" "In here!" "Get in the bass drum." "As a hiding place, you can't beat it!" "I'm not trying to hide." "I'm chasing you." "Fran, fran, fran." "You're making a big mistake, fran." "And i was really sent here to help you." "Yeah, who sent you?" "Do you ever hear a little voice inside you head, telling you you should do something?" "Actually, no." "Well, i did." "And he told me to come to beautiful downtown middleburg." "What you heard was just disassociation between the two sides of your... alleged brain." "No, no, no." "It's the same guy that sings those stupid songs you can't get out of your head." "No." "That's barry manilow." "Francis!" "In here!" "He's in here!" "See you get out of this one, houdini." "Fran, fran, fran." "There he is." "Larry houdini." "I think this joke has gone on long enough, francis." "What are you talking about?" "He's right here." "He's playing a saxophone." "He's moon-walking." "I'm going to have to call your parents." "Why are you doing this to me?" "Why are you pretending that you can't-- see him?" "Would you like to lie down, francis?" "Francis?" "Francis!" "Oh!" "Would you say that francis is unusually rebellious?" "Oh, no." "Not at all." "Francis has always been very mature for her age." "Very, very well adjusted." "Very grown up." "Starting high school can be traumatic." "Especially if she skipped a grade." "I understand that her younger brother had leukemia." "And it says here that he was given bone marrow transplants from his sibling." "Well, yes." "That's true." "Ah, but darwin is in remission." "The doctors say there's every hope for a complete cure." "Oh." "I've been developing a theory that francis is acting out, oh, repressed anger at having to donate her bone marrow to save her brother." "Well, that's interesting." "However it was our elder son, bert, albert, who was the donor." "So...?" "Well, it was just a theory." "I see." "Oh." "Can franny come out to play?" "Aaahhhh!" "Francis!" "How do you feel, francis?" "Ok." "I guess." "Oh, i am sure that there is a logical explanation for everything that's been going on." "I know that you are far too mature to be playing childish pranks on people." "And you still think it was this boy, larry, who put the gelatin in the swimming pool, and threw the eggs on mr." "Kepler's car?" "Eggs?" "I'm sure it is all simply a misunderstanding, honey, but francis, i was just thinking about something ms." "Readle said." "You know, about repressed anger." "Oh, mom, no!" "Is there anything your father and i could possibly-- please, please let's not get freudian, ok?" "This is not some kind of adolescent-- thing." "Well, honey...?" "I didn't do it!" "She ran into her room like she was still just a little child." "Oh, what if she's not emotionally mature enough to start high school?" "Oh, come on." "We have thought all the way through this." "I know, but what if we made a mistake?" "Well, maybe she's unhappy, michael." "Maybe she's blaming us." "Oh!" "Oh!" "So you think our daughter is expressing her resentment towards us by writing the letter "b" all through the town." "Let's be the adults here, michael, shall we?" "No." "I mean, obviously she's not doing everything alone." "Well, obviously." "But if she is unhappy, that could make her vulnerable, and maybe she got involved in... some kind of--oh, i don't know, some" "mind control." "You know, she mentioned being hypnotized in the car on the way home." "And there are incidents of mass hypnosis that have occurred all over the world." "What if someone is controlling the minds of children all over middleburg?" "Telling them to egg cars, and set clocks back-- so you're saying that someone is coming into this house to control our children's minds?" "How could they do that?" "So remember, my friends, when you are ready to make-- we are having an important discussion here, bert!" "About francis." "What?" "You guys think she's the one doing all that stuff?" "That's what everybody at school says." "She's supposed to be, like, the ringleader or something." "To break this accursed spell, hmm?" "Be mass hypnosis.otta be mass hypnosis.otta it's the only possible explanation." "Aaaah!" "Darwin!" "Are you sure there isn't really a boogyman?" "What?" "Some kids at the park said there is." "But if you pull the covers over your head at night, the boogeyman can't get you." "Darwin, the boogeyman is just something that somebody made up to scare children." "You know, somebody older and wiser needs to tell those kids the truth." "It was a big boy who told them about the boogeyman." "Well, he should be ashamed for scaring children like that." "They said his name was larry." "Hey!" "Hey, darwin!" "What did he look like?" "The guy who told them about the boogeyman." "I don't know." "They said he was playing basketball." "But i couldn't see him." "Come on." "Give me the ball." "Give me the ball!" "Give me the ball!" "And he scores!" "Hyyyeeee ya!" "Woowooooo!" "You missed the shot." "What are you?" "The referee?" "Games over, larry houdini." "Are you mad about somethin'?" "Yeah!" "Actually i'm furious!" "You had me thinkin' i was seeing things, or something." "For telling me you're some kind of imaginary person." "Fran!" "Get it right." "Well, all you really did was just hypnotize the principal and ms." "Readle to make them think that they couldn't see you." "What?" "Yeah." "Girl!" "I don't know how to hypnotize people." "I can do a magic trick." "Here you go, fran." "You know, if you're not for real then why-- why could the kids in the park see you?" "Those were little kids, fran." "They can see anything they want." "Just like i see these monkey bars." "You know, i want you to tell my parents, and the principal, and ms." "Readle... are you listening to me?" "Larry?" "They can't see me, fran." "Ok?" "[Continues making monkey noises ñ" "are you the one who's been causing' all the weird stuff that's happening around here?" "Yeah, like the graffiti, and the vandalism, and the dogs?" "Why are you doing this to me?" "I told you." "The guy in my head." "He sent me here." "You don't listen." "I get it." "I get it." "You're trying to get me into trouble." "You're trying to blame everything on me." "Shhhhh." "What?" "Shhhhhh." "What?" "Can you hear 'em?" "No!" "I don't hear voices!" "I just see things." "Have you seen this one yet?" "Check it out, fran." "Pretty cool, huh?" "Weeeeee!" "Ahh." "Do you have a library card?" "What?" ""The pirates have captured them, they said." ""The pirates have captured them!" ""Peter excitedly snatched up his sword, ready and eager for-- hey!" "What's up, guys?" "Hey, you and you and you!" "Taking care of that lizard?" "How's that lizard?" ""But suddenly, he remembered wendy's caution:" ""not to forget his medicine." ""Tinkerbell saw peter as he lifted the cup." "Where's the book?" "Where's the book?" "Ohh, which book?" "Which book?" "You know, there is such a thing as a card catalog?" "Ssshhhpp!" ""Tinkerbell flew between peter and the medicine, and as he lifted it--"" "you look up the title of the book you want?" "I don't know what book i want." "Guy in my head just said i needed a book." "He didn't say which one." "Ssshhhpp!" "The librarian." "Why is it so bright in here?" "Some people, they like to read in here." "Go figure." "What's with your eyes?" "Ok." "It's not that bright in here." "Eureka!" ""Do you believe in fairies?" "Do you?" "The librarian is going to throw us out if you don't be quiet!" ""There came an echo of sound-- le livre de boogey!" "The boogey book?" "By who?" "By guy n." "Head." "No!" "If this is supposed to convince me that you're for real-- you mean not for real." "Read the dedication." "This book is dedicated to" "larry." "Ha ha." "To larry." "Ok." "So let's see what the head honcho has to say." "Head." "Honcho." "No!" "No!" "This doesn't prove anything." "Ssshhhhpp!" "There are places where you can have a phoney book printed." ""Do you believe?" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!" ""If you believe, then clap your hands." ""Save poor tinkerbell." "Clap your hands as hard as you can!" "Sssshhhhhppp!" "Uh-oh." "Quiet!" ""...the sound of millions of little hands clapping." "Hold my book." ""Of course, they believed in fairies." "Hey!" "How you doing?" "Are you all daa daa daa?" "Boom!" "He's magic." "♪ If you're larry and you know it, clap your hands ♪" "♪ imaginary and you know it, clap your hands ♪" "♪ if the boogeyman is scarey ♪" "♪ then just ask help from larry ♪" "♪ if you need me and you know it, clap your hands ♪♪ what the" "yah!" "All right!" "Sshhhhhpp!" "Ssssshhhhhp!" "Ssshhhhhpp!" "Sssshhhhhhhhpp!" "Ssshhhhhp!" "Ssshhhp!" "Sshhhhp!" "Ssshhhhp!" "Ssshhhhhpp!" "Ssshhhp!" "Ssshhhhp!" "Ssshhhpp!" "Ssshhhhpp!" "Hooooo!" "Hoooooooooo!" "Who turned off story time?" "He did." "He did." "Do not touch the audio visual equipment." "Here's larry." "So, who wants to hear the story about the boogeyman?" "Oh, i'm getting scared just thinking about it." "Oh, hi, francis." "How you doin'?" "Anyway, the boogeyman is a very bad man." "So, if he ever tries to come into your home, at night, into your room, make sure you pull the covers over your head." "That way he can't get you." "I think i'd like to check this out." "Oh!" "This is it!" "This is it!" "Chapter two." "Fifty ways to bust your boogey." "You know, you could be an astronaut from a galaxy far, far away." "And you've got this neural thing in your head that keeps people from seeing you." "Ok." "Although it doesn't work on really small children." "You know, what if that voice in your head, what if it's some kind of transmission from a mother ship?" "Man, if we had a thermo-nuclear device that boogeyman would be toast!" "No!" "What if the boogeyman was really a creature from a distant planet?" "He comes from under your bed." "What?" "It says it right here." "The boogeyman lives under your bed." "It doesn't say which bed, but i figure if he's trying to ruin your life, it must be under your bed." "Well, there's nothing living under my bed." "Oh, yeah, francis?" "Yeah." "Have you looked lately?" "Well, let's just go look right now." "All righty, then." "Ok." "Well, are you coming or" "what?" "Where have you been, francis?" "Don't, michael." "I just went to the library." "You know you're not supposed to go out without telling us first." "Ok." "I'm sorry." "I guess i forgot." "It's all right, francis." "We're not angry." "We're just very worried about you." "Can i go to my room now?" "Actually, we need to talk, francis." "Yes, you may go." "But just keep us informed next time, ok?" "Ok." "Don't you want to know what's going on with her?" "Well, of course i do!" "But we can't pressure her, michael." "She needs her space." "She needs professional help!" "Sshhhh!" "I am going to e-mail that guidance counselor, ms." "Readle." "I'm going to invite her over to dinner tomorrow." "She has experience dealing with problems like this." "Besides, i have that roast i need to cook." "Hey!" "Larry!" "He's not under there now." "Ok." "It says here there's this thing called temporalfuge that can make a boogeyman harmless." "You've got your feet on my bed!" "Aw, man!" "I think i can make one of these temporalfuge things." "Where do you get your clothes?" "Well, i swear, it's got the instructions and everything!" "Look at this!" "Have you lost your marbles?" "Darwin?" "Found 'em on the floor." "They're not bert's." "Hey, man!" "Don't you recognize me?" "How do you know darwin?" "He said they weren't his." "It's me!" "Larry?" "Are they yours?" "Do you see anybody else in here?" "You don't have to be snotty about it." "I don't want your ol' marbles, anyway." "Oh, wait." "Don't leave, darwin." "Darwin?" "Darwin?" "Why won't you be my friend anymore?" "You were darwin's imaginary friend?" "I didn't know that was your brother." "Darwin, pull the covers over your head, so you'll be safe." "Ok?" "He doesn't even know i exist!" "Well, he doesn't believe in things like imaginary friends." "I can't believe i'm having this conversation." "You're not really an imaginary friend." "I don't understand why he doesn't believe in me anymore." "Oh, well, look." "I told him a long time ago that it was childish to believe in things like that." "You did it." "You're the reason why he can't see me!" "You told darwin to stop believing in me." "What's wrong with your eyes?" "I must be allergic to something." "I don't know." "Allergies don't make your eyes look like that." "You know what, fran, you just know everything." "Don't you?" "That's why--that's why you told darwin to stop believing in me." "To show him you knew more than he did." "No!" "He needs to believe in his doctors." "Ok?" "Something real." "That's how you stop being afraid." "You grow up and... face reality." "And i had to help him do that." "You wanted to help him?" "Then why didn't you give him some of your bone marrow?" "Huh?" "I wanted to help him but the doctors said bert was the only one who could do it." "I bet that was a relief." "No!" "I wanted to do it!" "Safe!" "Larry?" "No!" "Don't pretend with me, fran!" "I know all about pretending." "Larry?" "Heh, heh, heh, heh, heehhhh." "Fran?" "The boogeyman is on the roof." "A fireman now?" "You remind me of darwin's action figures." "Well, i don't see anybody." "Just all these christmas lights." "There is no boogeyman on the roof." "Ok?" "I think you're making the whole thing up." "Hold this for me." "I'm going up." "Wait." "Wait." "What are you going to do?" "I don't know." "Ok?" "I don't know." "I guess i'll use my imagination." "Try using a ladder." "Ok?" "There's one in the garage." "Larry?" "Larry?" "Larry?" "Ssshhhhh!" "Larry?" "Larry?" "Rah!" "Ha ha ha ha ha haaaa!" "Got you!" "Aaaahhhh!" "Ha ha ha ha!" "Aaahhhhh!" "Whoooooa!" "It's nice of you to hang around, but you'd be safer on the ground." "Whooo whooo whooo ha ha haaa!" "Oh, eyes are kinda scarey." "Don't ya think so, larry?" "Do you see him, fran?" "!" "Franny." "It won't be long until she can see a boogey just like me." "Larry?" "Do you see him, fran?" "!" "Do you see him?" "!" "And you'll see that you boogey too." "Inside of the mirror, it's you." "Fran!" "Whoa!" "Whooaaa!" "Aaahhhh!" "Aaahhhhh!" "What was that?" "Ohhh!" "Look around and you will see that blackout starts with "b"." "What's this?" "What's with the lights?" "Francis?" "What?" "Please." "Ahh, ahhh... what?" "Ahhh... aahhh... hey, mike!" "What's up with this?" "There he is!" "Mr. Mccausland?" "Mr. Mccausland?" "!" "Wwhooaaaa!" "Why was your house the only one with power in the city?" "Can you make a statement, sir?" "Is this a political statement?" "We need to talk about this." "Could we not discuss current events this morning, michael?" "I am talking about this!" "This is our house on the front page of the paper!" "We've got tv reporters outside right now!" "Ah, cool!" "Hello?" "Francis?" "You know we are not trying to pressure you, but even you must admit that you have not adequately explained what you where doing with that ladder last night." "Francis?" "This has nothing to do with the public right to know!" "Francis?" "Are we communicating?" "Nope!" "What, mom?" "A chick from channel 15 news is out there." "Oh, she's a hotty." "If you want to know about our family, visit our web site." "Maybe we ought to get away from the house." "Why don't we take a family drive?" "Aw, gee, i would love that... but i've got this elective dental surgery." "Listen, bert-- and i don't feel good." "Can i stay home too?" "After what you were up to last night, young lady-- just... michael." "Whooo!" "Time flies." "Ha!" "Nice catch." "You're all right?" "Just all right?" "And i thought i was great!" "Ha!" "When you fell off the roof last night, i thought that you were... get real, francis." "If i can quote your friend, joanne." "Well, former friend." "Thanks to the boogeyman." "Are you sure you didn't do anything to make him mad?" "Hello?" "I think i'd remember if i'd ever done anything to the boogeyman." "Ok, francis." "Ok." "Are you saying because you're imaginary that you can't ever die?" "I never asked!" "Well, so, what, you never get old?" "You just stay young forever, like... peter pan?" "Our friends grow up, then... they don't need us anymore." "So we go find new friends." "Makin' new friends keeps you young." "Just like aerobics." "Tae bo." "Tai chi." "All that good stuff!" "Well, then why didn't you get a new friend when darwin stopped believing in you?" "Because darwin still needed me." "Well... what is this thing anyway?" "Temporalfuge." "Ohhh." "How does it work?" "Assuming it works." "Oh, it's so simple, a child could understand it." "In fact, a grown-up couldn't understand it at all." "All right." "If you spin the clock clockwise at the right rpm, it creates, what you call a temporal fugitation impulse." "You take the fugitation impulse and you amplify it with magnetic fields, and then the speaker sends it through the vacuum chamber." "Well, that's dad's vacuum cleaner!" "Your dad does the vacuuming?" "Yeah, he likes to do the house work." "This is starting to get unbelievable." "Anyways, after resonating the vacuum chamber, the impulses go through these jumper cables and right into the boogeyman." "And?" "A boogeyman has got a very tightly wound biological clock." "That's why they only bother you when you're a little kid." "By the time you grow up, the boogeyman is tired and retired." "No, no." "Then why is he bothering me now?" "That's a very good question, fran." "Anywho, the temporalfuge speeds it up." "Thirty seconds on this baby, he's got a white, long beard, walking with a cane, eating some prunes." "He's harmless." "Too old to boogey." "You expect me to believe all this?" "It's in the book." "What do you want, a demonstration?" "Yeah." "Stay back." "It's still experimental." "I would've said ridiculous." "I'm going to pull the switch." "They said i was crazy at the university." "It's alive!" "But now i've showed them." "Now they'll see who has the last laugh." "Ha ha!" "Ha ha ha!" "Oooh!" "It's not funny!" "Sorry." "You know, this stuff smells disgusting." "It's sour." "It's been fugitated." "It's like two months old now." "I don't know why i went kablooey like that." "The temporalfuge must be lactose intolerant or something." "Oouch!" "You scratched me!" "Give me that!" "I used to bite them." "Uh-hmm, so that's why they grow really fast now." "Man, there is something strange going on with you." "Like, how would you know?" "Have you known any other imaginary people?" "I could be perfectly normal." "Ha!" "Yeah, right." "And pigs could fly." "Look, i'm gonna go take a cold shower." "Maybe that'll wake me up from this nightmare." "Ooh, is that a zit?" "Girl, you need to take care of your skin." "Great." "I'm still dreaming." "Over here." "What are you doing in there?" "Just pausing to reflect." "Get out!" "Ok?" "Get out!" "It's creepy." "Oh." "There." "How long have you been in there?" "I was just thinking, now that the boogeyman knows we're after him, he may not come out from under the bed for who knows how long." "You know." "Lay low." "Why can't we just wait for him to come out?" "What's the hurry?" "Oh, no." "No." "There's no hurry i just thought it'd be nice to get it over with." "You know, before something bad happens." "Bad?" "I mean if it does." "So how do we get this over with?" "It's all in the book." "This is what's to be called, "boogey goo."" "Boogey goo." "Boogeymen love this stuff." "It's gonna take me a while to get the ingredients, but... why don't you try the supermarket?" "Imaginary food section." "That's a good idea." "Fran, you are so smart." "Ap... a spell or a..."" "you di a spell or a..."" "you didn't say charm." "I know that." "That's a lovely little bust you have there." "Ohhh, yes." "Thank you." "It's a reproduction, of course." "You know, you don't get rich being a cultural anthropologist." "Oh, tell me about it." "And what do you do, michael?" "I've got a phd in solid waste engineering." "Piled higher and deeper." "Ha ha ha ha!" "It's so caring of you to invite me into your home environment, and give francis and i a chance to get to know each other." "Francis and me." "Uh-huh." "Can i be excused?" "Yes." "Of course you may, francis." "I'm gonna to go to my room environment." "What are you doing?" "Oooh!" "Ooh!" "That smells so disgusting!" "It's boogey goo!" "Oh, yeah." "Boogey goo." "You need to clean this up before somebody comes in here and sees all this." "I think it's about done, anyway." "What's in that?" "Hee hee hee hee!" "It's so good!" "It's so good!" "It's so good!" "Some rotten eggs, burnt sugar, jalapeño peppers, limburger cheese, some anchovies, bacon grease, ah, one of those guys." "And your... daily requirement of iron." "A couple of slugs, some leftovers from the school cafeteria." "Ha ha ha ha ha!" "Aahh!" "Sick!" "Yeah!" "Don't you hate leftovers?" "Oh, and i needed some week-old sweat, so i ran one of bert's gym socks through the blender." "Well, you did wash it out when you were done, didn't you?" "Say what?" "You did wash it out-- this is expensive." "Pudding, ms." "Readle?" "Oh, thank you." "It looks delicious." "Excuse me." "I think i smell something... strange." "We can pour a trail of boogey goo, and lead the boogeyman straight into the temporalfuge." "Ooh!" "Francis?" "Why?" "And what in the world are you cooking?" "It's... uh... homework." "For home ec." "You are not taking home... ec." "That's why i'm cooking it at home." "I think everyone should learn how to cook." "This doesn't not smell like food, francis." "You're right." "I'm gonna take it out." "Ok." "I think it's about time we started telling each other the truth, young lady." "Now, mom?" "Yes." "Now." "Francis, your father and i both know that something is going on with you, and that you are involved somehow with what's going on in middleburg." "Mom-- we don't want to punish you, francis-- can we move?" "We just want to understand why you are doing it." "I can't help but feel that your father and i are partially responsible." "That maybe we forced you to grow up too fast." "This has a very interesting flavor." "Do i detect a hint of nutmeg?" "Just a little bit." "That looks like bert's gym sock." "Oh!" "I know what we went through with darwin must've been very hard for you." "We almost lost him, and that was very scary." "Even for the grown-ups-- what kind of cookbook is this, honey, because i'm just a little-- karen!" "Now, don't go, 'cause we gotta start now." "I'll be back." "Karen, honey!" "Karen, need a little help!" "Larry?" "Larry?" "Uuh!" "Larry?" "Uuh, uuh." "What are you doing in there?" "I got hungry." "Get out." "Get out!" "Can you help me?" "Can you help me?" "How can you eat that stuff?" "It kinda taste like chicken, with a... with a hint of... of nutmeg!" "Yeah." "What is going on with you, larry?" "First, your eyes... your fingernails... now you're eating boogey goo." "Look." "I'm not... turning into a boogeyman, ok?" "You got that?" "Don't go there!" "Don't go there, francis!" "Larry?" "Just keep taking deep breaths, ms." "Readle." "Ok." "I'm going to get some anti-nausea medicine." "And a waste basket." "May i be excused?" "I hate seeing people barf." "You are turning into a boogeyman, aren't you?" "What makes you say that?" "Where do boogeymen come from, larry?" "Is it in the book?" ""If a child stops believing in an imaginary friend too soon, the imaginary friend... may turn into a boogeyman."" "That's what's happening to you, isn't it?" "Because i made darwin stop believing in you too soon." "Larry, i'm trying to help you." "Just go away, ok?" "You can't help me." "Don't say i can't help, ok?" "!" "That's a terrible thing to say." "Who are you talking to?" "Darwin, i'm trying to have a private conversation here." "Does that mean you're talking to yourself?" "Will you just please leave me alone for a little while?" "It's my room." "Please?" "Ok, but then i get your room." "Would you give this to darwin for me?" "He's looking all over for it." "Maybe you could give it to him yourself." "Or maybe i could talk to darwin and i could get him to believe in you again." "It's a little late for that, fran." "Larry?" "Oh, there you are." "Nestor here is a diver." "You can go for rides on his back." "He might even give you swimming lessons." "Do you smell something?" "Hey." "How are you doing?" "Now, watch." "Boogey goo!" "Stop it, larry!" "Ok?" "That's disgusting!" "Ha ha ha!" "He he!" "Boogey goo!" "I think i must've spilled it on the kitchen floor." "And you stepped in it." "I didn't step in any boogey goo, ok?" "!" "Then how did it get up here?" "Darwin!" "Darwin!" "Now watch me dive." "Aaaahhhhh!" "Darwin?" "Why are you breathing like that?" "There's something in my-- there's something in my throat." "He must be downstairs." "Oh!" "That's awful!" "What did you expect?" "The boogeyman licked the shoe!" "Blaaa!" "Are you telling me that the boogeyman's got darwin?" "It must be after his sole." "It's got boogey goo on it." "I looked under the bed, and darwin is not under there." "No, no, no, no." "He's under there, you just can't see him." "Darwin's in the boogey world, now." "I'm gonna go get my temporalfuge, all right?" "Boogey world?" "No." "No, no, no." "Yes." "Now you have gone too... far." "Ok, i refuse to believe in some invisible place called the boogey world." "C'mon, fran." "You believe in the boogeyman, don't you?" "I haven't seen him." "You didn't see him on the roof last night?" "All i saw was you and a lot of blinky lights." "Besides, it's hard to believe in something you can't see." "You mean like electricity." "Oh, come on." "Atoms, molecules, gravity." "Ok, ok." "If there was a... boogey world, how do we get into it?" "We don't." "This job is for a professional." "Look, i am not going to sit up here and do nothing, ok?" "You have no idea how hard it was when darwin was sick and i couldn't do anthing-- and you told him he should stop believing in me!" "You were a big help then, fran." "Why are you being so mean?" "What do you expect?" "!" "I'm turning into a boogeyman, ok?" "!" "Ok, francis?" "I'm going with you." "What if i boogey down the rest of the way while you're in there?" "You may get trapped in boogey world, just like darwin." "I'm not worried about what happens to me." "I am!" "Ok?" "I am." "Larry... what?" "!" "What you said about me being relieved when i couldn't be a donor... it's true." "I was glad it had to be bert, because i was scared." "Real people get scared, fran." "It's perfectly logical." "Aaah!" "Oh, i hate that stupid thing!" "Aaah!" "Please do not do that, dad?" "!" "Francis, did you put a gym sock in the blender?" "Dad, i'm kinda in the middle of something right now." "Well, it's just going to have to wait, because i am not leaving here until i hear the truth about everything." "Ok." "It was... the boogeyman." "Ok?" "The boogeyman." "You know, and he's got darwin under the bed, right now." "And he has been the cause of everything that has been happening around here." "Maybe you would be more comfortable speaking with your mother about this." "Sure." "Bye." "Larry!" "Larry!" "Larry!" "You know what?" "I had a feeling you were following me." "Especially when you started yanking my cord." "Where are we?" "Under your bed, sort of." "You believe in the boogey world now?" "This isn't happening." "It's so big." "Imagine if you had a queen-size bed." "Whooo!" "Now that's big." "How am i gonna find darwin in this?" "Well, we can walk or take the car." "Is that darwin's toy car?" "Yeah." "You should've seen me trying to get it out of my pocket." "Whooo!" "Do you think that the boogeyman would hurt darwin?" "Oh, no, no, no, no." "You're the one he's after." "I figure darwin's just the bait to get you under the bed." "So you better watch your back, your front, your sides, your right, your left, and-- whoo-hoo!" "Over your head!" "Look out!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "Is that the boogeyman?" "Is that the boogeyman?" "No." "This is a peanut-butter sandwich." "Why is the boogeyman after me?" "Why doesn't he just leave me alone?" "Did you ever have an imaginary friend?" "No." "Never." "Maybe it's just a boogey thing." "So sick!" "Ok, we gotta push the car to get it started." "Ah, hello?" "Why don't you use the jumper cables on your back?" "Jumper cables only work on real cars." "We're gonna have to push it backwards." "I bet you only had educational toys." "C'mon." "Let's just find darwin." "C'mon, fran, put your back into it." "I am." "Get on." "Get on." "Hurry." "Hurry, it's slipping." "Oooh!" "Turn left!" "Turn left!" "Larry!" "Aaaah!" "Turn right!" "Right, right!" "What is going on?" "You don't even know how to drive!" "Watch out!" "Watch out!" "Aaaaaahhh!" "Oh, there's nothing like the wind in your hair!" "Woo hoo hoo!" "Larry!" "Let go of the cord!" "Aaaah!" "Look out!" "Look out, fran!" "Fran?" "Fran, are you ok?" "I bit my lip." "Francis!" "Where am i, francis?" "Francis!" "Darwin!" "Darwin!" "Oooh!" "It smells like a dirty sock in here!" "Don't worr darwin!" "I'm gonna get you out." "Help me!" "Ooh!" "I remember when i couldn't even get these on you." "Ha ha ha." "Uh, fran!" "Francis!" "Larry." "Turn it up, quick!" "He's right behind you!" "Bowling for boogies." "Come on." "Strike!" "Yeah!" "Help!" "Larry!" "Larry, it's him!" "It's temporalfuge time!" "What?" "Are you trying to start something?" "Yeah." "You." "Aah!" "Say goodbye." "No!" "Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!" "Ha ha ha ha!" "Aaaaaahhhh!" "Got ya." "Huh?" "What's wrong?" "Your extension cord has come uncurled." "And now you're powerless in boogey world." "Don't worry, larry." "I won't hurt you." "It's lots more fun to just convert you." "Help!" "I'm not a boogeyman, yet." "There's still time to bust you!" "Huh?" "Noooo!" "Larry, are you ok?" "Who are you talking to, francis?" "Darwin!" "It's coiled around me!" "Larry!" "Francis... larry?" "Do you think i look a little strange?" "But when you grow up, sometimes you change!" "Larry... francis." "Larry, you have to fight this." "Come, francis." "Fight what?" "Larry!" "Come, let's play, francis." "Francis?" "Aaaaahhh!" "Ooooh-ahhhh!" "Aaaah!" "Larry, you don't have to be a boogeyman!" "You said there's no such thing." "Franny, franny, franny." "Franny?" "Stash franny in someplace or other, while i get a wig off her little brother." "Haaa!" "Larry, you have to help him!" "He needs you!" "I'm scared!" "If darwin wanted me to care, he should have asked for help from larry." "Get me out, francis!" "I'm scared!" "Did that hurt?" "Oh, i'm sorry." "Darwin, ask larry for help!" "Remember your friend, larry?" "He's not real." "You told me." "You said we have to be grown up." "Ha!" "It's scary to take such a long, long drop." "Francis!" "But even scarier when you stop." "I was wrong!" "I was just afraid!" "Darwin, i didn't know what to do, and i thought that if i was grown up, i could do anything." "Ha!" "You don't get second chances to be young." "Darwin!" "Darwin!" "So, you won't answer, franny?" "Francis!" "Hold your tongue!" "Darwin!" "Darwin, can you hear me?" "Hey, darwin, if you still believe in larry, clap your hands, ok?" "That's all you have to do, just clap!" "Shut up!" "Stop it!" "That's it!" "Come on, clap!" "Stop it!" "Larry, i need you!" "Help me, please!" "Larry!" "That's it, darwin!" "Larry, i need you!" "Aaaaaaah!" "I still believe!" "Larry!" "I'm back!" "And you're busted!" "The temporalfuge!" "You've got to plug it in to something!" "Hey!" "Cut it out!" "C'mon, you guys!" "That's my friend in there, you scaggy creep!" "Stop!" "Stop!" "Who's pulling me?" "What's going on?" "!" "You're not gonna hurt my pal!" "There's no way, man!" "All right?" "Francis!" "Where are you, francis?" "!" "Oh." "Ooh!" "Oow!" "My foot!" "Francis!" "C'mon, you guys!" "If you think you can win, you're wrong." "Aaah!" "Larry!" "That boogeyman is really strong." "I hate to be the one to tell you, but it's not too late for me to nail you." "Ah ha ha!" "Aah!" "You know, i think i'm gonna be staying alive, 'cause you can't catch up with this jive." "Ha ha!" "Whoo!" "And what?" "And what?" "Uh-oh!" "Yaaaa!" "Uuuh." "Darwin!" "I'm ok, but i'm not happy!" "The pen is mightier than the sword." "The pen is mightier than two swords." "Aah!" "Of course it's no match for a fingernail." "Ok!" "I gotcha now." "Huh?" "Don't do it!" "Don't do it!" "Use 'em, fran!" "Aaaaaahhhhhh!" "Franny, no!" "Franny, wait!" "Franny?" "Ooh!" "I'm getting old." "I'm getting so old, i've even forgotten how to rhyme anymore." "Oh, please." "Please, please, franny, franny." "Oooooh!" "Aaahhh!" "Aaah!" "Aaaah!" "Your temporalfuge, it didn't work." "Now i'll get you and this imaginary jerk!" "I'm not afraid of you!" "I beg your pardon?" "I'm not afraid of you!" "I know who you are." "You can't scare me." "Really?" "Yaaaaaa!" "Francis!" "Stop it, zoe!" "Zoe?" "Who's zoe?" "Only one person ever called me franny." "It was hard for me to admit it was you." "I didn't want it to be my fault." "I'm sorry, zoe." "No!" "Francis!" "Zoe." "The boogeyman, a girl?" "Get outta here!" "What you doing a girl?" "Larry!" "I thought it was you!" "Long time no see, huh?" "Hey, remember your car?" "Are you ok, darwin?" "I'm got sock fuzz in my mouth." "Francis?" "Are you ok, francis?" "We heard a strange noise." "Uh... i... was vacuuming under the bed." "You didn't change the bag first." "Encouragement, michael, encouragement." "Francis, honey, we came upstairs to apologize." "You father just logged onto the internet news." "The same things that were going on here, just started happening last night in centerville." "They think the same people are responsible but most important, we know that you are not responsible." "Oh, sweetheart, we are so sorry that we didn't believe you." "It's ok." "It's ok, mom." "You were just looking for a logical explanation." "It was the boogeyman." "Oh, please." "Darwin, you know there's no such thing as the boogeyman." "Yeah, but i saw him, with big, sharp teeth and claws!" "Darwin, it's past your bedtime." "You tell 'em, darwin." "You won't go away, will you?" "Well, of course she won't go away, honey." "She's your sister." "I'll be here whenever you need me." "That's what friends are for." "I'm glad i do believe in you again." "I believe in you too, francis." "Yes, honey, we all do." "Goodnight, sweetheart." "Goodnight." "So what's the story on the boogeyman here?" "Actually, it's boogey person." "Yeah?" "So who are you?" "Personally?" "This is zoe." "Zoe's my imaginary friend." "You told me you never had an imaginary friend." "She lied." "Wise up, lar." "Just because you hang around with a seven-year-old, doesn't mean you have to be naive." "Zoe and i used to play all the time when i was little." "When darwin got sick, and we couldn't do anything to make him better, that's when i decided i had to grow up." "I just stopped believing in what wasn't real." "And you started to turn into a boogeyman?" "Boogey person." "I'm so sorry i stopped believing in you, zoe." "Shhh." "The guy inside his head." "That explains the echo." "On my way, big guy." "Gotta go, fran." "Go where?" "Centerville." "You heard what your dad said about the weird things going on over there." "They've got a boogeyman who needs busting." "I'd better go with you." "I've seen you in action, lar, and i don't think you could handle a full-tilt boogey by yourself." "You know what?" "I think i liked you better when you were a boogey-- person." "[Mumbling ñ" "oh, it was wonderful to see you again, franny." "I'm sorry for all the trouble i caused." "I didn't want to be a boogey." "I just couldn't help it." "It's ok." "Everything's all right, and we can be friends again, just like before." "You won't be seeing us anymore, franny." "Well, you told darwin you wouldn't go away." "She means we won't be coming back to see you." "Oh, no, no." "Only real friends last forever." "Like joanne." "But i believe in you." "I believe in both of you." "The time to believe is when you're little, like darwin." "When you still need us." "I don't want to lose you again." "You won't lose me, franny." "Not as long as you remember me." "Fess up, fran?" "You know you're too grown up to have an imaginary friend." "Don't you?" "Well, no." "I mean i can see you guys right now, and that proves, logically, that-- excuse me." "You're not turning into a boogeyman, anymore." "You don't need sunglasses." "Yeah." "But they make me look cool." "Hey, fran... maybe i am too grown up." "Ah, fran... just because you're getting older, doesn't mean you have to get old." "I can't sleep." "I'm kinda scared." "Climb in." "You know, the only way the boogeyman can hurt you is by making you afraid." "Yeah." "Francis... uh-huh." "I'm not really scared of the boogeyman." "And i saw how you handled him." "I'm worried about getting sick again." "Have you talked to larry about it?" "He said you could help me." "That you could tell me how grown-ups keep from being scared." "Well, i guess they know that being afraid doesn't help." "Also, they don't like being afraid." "It makes them act afraid." "Kinda like pretending you're not scared." "Yeah, i guess." "And pretty soon, you're not afraid anymore." "I guess it takes a lot of imagination to become a grown-up." "It sure does, sweetie." "♪ Dance ♪" "♪ boogey wonderland ♪" "♪ dance ♪" "♪ boogie wonderland ♪" "♪ i find romance ♪" "♪ when i start to dance ♪" "♪ in boogie wonderland ♪" "♪ i find romance ♪" "♪ when i start to dance ♪" "♪ in boogie wonderland ♪" "♪ dance, boogie dance ♪" "♪ in boogie wonderland ♪♪"