"Dan:" "Ernie Els, who missed eight f airways on the back 9, still managed to finish the day one under par to stay within thr ee strokes of the leader, Tiger Woods, who some of you may have heard of." "That's all f or us." "Don't f orget tomorrow's a big day as "March Madness" heads into the ronde de seize." "You can join us starting at 3:00 tomorrow when Dan and I will begin our continuing coverage of the Sweet 16." "We'll be joined by analysts in the field and our own Bobbi Bernstein" " right her e in the studio." " [ Chokes ]" "The f un starts tomorrow afternoon at 3:00, and we'll be with you right through till 11:00 P.M." "You've been watching "Sports Night" on CSC." "" " Have a good night." "" " Good night." "Dave:" "Music." "Will:" "Go." "" " Animation." "Chris:" "Go." "We're out." "" " Whoa!" "" " Take it easy." "" " Whoa!" "" " Dan." "When did this happen?" "You'r e talking about Bobbi Bernstein?" "Yes, I am -- yes, I am talking about Bobbi Bernstein." "I guess Dana f orgot to tell you." "Yes, I guess she did, Casey." "I guess she f orgot to tell me." "Oh, hey, you know what, Dan?" "I f orgot to tell you about Bobbi Bernstein." "" " Yes, you did." "" " Bobbi's sitting in f or Jack." "What's wrong with Jack?" "" " He's sick." "" " How sick?" "He's got flu-like symptoms." "Oh, honestly, who doesn't?" "[ Laughs ]" "What's the problem with Bobbi Bernstein?" "Ther e's no problem." "" " She's good." "" " She's very good." "She knows college basketball." "She's very good." "Listen, Isaac's gonna want to show us pictur es f rom his vacation." "So I'm gonna get a "Welcome Back" cake, and we'll have a little party in his office tomorrow." "What kind of cake?" "" " What kind of cake?" "" " Yes." "I don't know, Casey." "Why do you ask?" "I'm particular about cake, and I have to say it's been my experience that men buy better cake than women." "I've f ound that women tend to get these yogurt-f rosted, low-cal things laced with a rum-and-f ruit concoction that make eating cake into something you do to be polite." "So that's why I was asking what kind of cake you wer e planning on getting to celebrate Isaac's r eturn f rom vacation." "Wow." "I didn't know you f elt so strongly about it." "But now that I do, I guess the answer is..." "whatever cake I damn please." "Ex cellent." "Bobbi's coming in f rom St. Louis." "She'll be her e a little bef or e 3:00." "" " Good." "" " Ther e's no problem with Bobbi?" "" " No, ma'am." "" " Good." "[ Indistinct voices ]" "I'd go f or it." "Dan:" "Dana." "" " Can you believe I get a whole little cake speech f rom that guy?" "" " Yeah." "I mean, is ther e anything he won't make a speech about?" "Is ther e anything he won't sit in judgment on?" "I mean, I am sorry to end two sentences in a row with a pr eposition like that," " but no kidding, Danny -- " " Dana." "" " Yeah?" "" " Hi." "Hi. [ Chuckles ]" "Her e's the thing " "Bobbi and I have a very peculiar r elationship." "" " I didn't know you had a r elationship." "" " We don't." "" " I'm conf used." "" " You and me both." "Dan..." "When I tell people this, they don't believe me." "They think I'm lying." "Don't be ridiculous, Dan." "Of course I'm gonna believe you." "You say that now, and that's nice, but when I say what I'm gonna say, you'r e not gonna believe me." "" " I'll believe you." "" " Really?" "I'm standing her e telling you I'll believe you." "Bobbi Bernstein is convinced that a long time ago in a hotel room in Spain she and I slept together and that I never called her again." "Now, thr ee things ar e important." "I've never met Bobbi Bernstein till she started doing fieldwork her e f or the show," "I've never slept with Bobbi Bernstein, and I have never been to Spain." " [ Chuckles ] " " Thank you f or believing me." "Danny..." "you never called her?" "" " Dana, you just said that -- " " A woman likes a phone call, Danny." "All right, listen -- and ther e's something with the stuff you guys ar e putting in your hair." "Let me tell you something." "I put nothing in my hair." "I was born with this hair, and not enough people know that." "Rebecca's gonna be her e tomorrow." "" " Rebecca, by the way, colors her hair." "" " Dana, what..." "She's a lovely woman, but I'm saying that is not her natural hair color." "Nonetheless, I think I'd like to keep her on as my girlf riend." "[ Laughs ]" "Rebecca and I ar e in a very delicate period of our r elationship, and if she's standing around while Bobbi Bernstein's launching into arias about how I never called her after sleeping with her in Spain " "" " You should have called her." "" " I didn't sleep with her." "Flowers wouldn't have killed you." "You'r e gonna be no help, ar e you?" "It doesn't look like it, does it?" "No." "Casey:" "Chocolate cake -- chocolate-filled, chocolate-f rosted, chocolate cake." "I'm just saying." "There are days -- days that separate the men f rom the Men." "The men f rom the men?" "That's right." "" " What does -- " " The second "Men" was with a capital "M."" "" " Ah." "" " Ther e ar e these days." "This is one of those days." "You should enjoy the moment." "What moment?" "This moment -- the Sweet 16." "" " Expanded coverage -- don't you love expanded coverage?" "" " Yes." "All day and all night -- a f oxhole mentality." "Enjoy this moment." "Dan:" "Casey." "I'm pumping up the troops." "" " That's gr eat." "Let me talk to you." "" " All right." "While I'm gone, everyone should continue enjoying the moment." "[ Telephone ringing ]" "Listen to this -- this is all I want to say, and then I'm not gonna say anything else." "I just went down to Rebecca's office, and Steve Sisco was ther e." "Expanded coverage all day and all night." "Maybe I'll talk about it a little bit mor e than that." "" " Steve Sisco's in her office?" "" " Yes." "" " On a Saturday?" "" " Yes." "What is Steve Sisco doing in her office on a Saturday?" "Who car es if it's Saturday?" "What's Steve Sisco doing in her office?" "Hey, Rebecca, Steve Sisco, Bobbi Bernstein " "You'r e gonna have quite a little day." "" " Yeah, but I'm not talking about it." "" " Good." "" " I'm not thinking about it." "" " Good." "" " We've got a lot of hours on the air today." "" " That's right." "" " The point is Steve Sisco was in Rebecca's office on a Saturday." " ...on a Saturday." "" " My girlf riend's ex-husband was in her office on a Saturday, and I'm fine." "" " Good." "And I'm not saying I'm fine in that dramatic way that's obviously meant to indicate that I'm not fine." "That's not what I meant when I said I'm fine." "" " What did you mean?" "" " I meant I'm fine." "Okay." "" " I am." "" " Ex cellent." "" " Look at me." "" " I am." "" " Don't I look fine?" "" " You look good." "" " I do." "" " You're a good-looking man, Danny." "Mor eover, my girlf riend's in her office talking to her ex-husband, it's all happening on a Saturday, and guess what." "" " You'r e fine?" "" " I'm fine." "I just want you to know how f rightened I am with today's broadcast." "Yeah, I hear you." "A little higher." "" " Me?" "" " Jer emy." "" " Higher?" "" " Yes." "" " Ther e?" "" " Too high." "Actually, wait." "Yes, Natalie, you go higher." "Right ther e." "" " Good?" "" " Yes." "We can come down now?" "By all means, take a look." "I like it." "I like the visual image, don't you?" "" " The city skyline -- the banner." "" " Yes." "Now her e's the thing." "" " What?" "" " I'm not wild about the text." "" " The text?" "" " Yeah." "" " It says, "Welcome back." " " Right." "" " What's the problem?" "" " I don't know." "It's a little on the nose, don't you think?" " "Welcome back"?" "" " Yeah." "" " Do I think it's on the nose?" "" " Yeah." "I suppose I do." "" " But it doesn't bother you?" "" " Not that much." "You know who it would bother?" "" " Who?" "" " Casey." "I think it would bother Casey." "I find Casey to be judgmental, and in my case," "I find him to be hyper-judgmental." "Did he say something about your hair?" "No, he said something about " "Wait." "What would he say about my hair?" "Listen to this -- and this is all I'm gonna say." "Then it's the end of it." "Steve Sisco is with Rebecca in her office right now." "Natalie:" "Really?" "" " Yeah." "On a Saturday?" "" " What the hell does everybody car e that -- " " Dan." "I'm fine." "What do you think?" "" " About what?" "" " About the banner." "I like it." "" " Do you?" "" " It's a good banner." "You don't think it's on the nose?" " "Welcome back"?" "" " Yeah." "I think it's pr ecise." "" " Really?" "" " Yes." "" " Thank you." "" " Ther e's an economy of language." "Oh, and that's unusual f or me, like I'm the one who can't shut up?" "" " Dana..." "" " You'r e damn right ther e's an economy of language." "I got the job done in two words, and I think I can make another cut, yes." "We don't need "back."" "We can cut the "back."" "" " Cut the "back"?" "" " Yes." "" " And have it just say, "Welcome"?" "" " Yes." " "Welcome"?" "" " Do you have a problem with that?" "" " He'll think he just clear ed customs." "" " He's got a point." "What if you add an ex clamation point?" "I'm going to get the cake." "" " Also it should be a little higher on the right." "" " Shut up!" "Dave:" "Two minutes to VTR." "Three minutes live." "Kim:" "We're live in three minutes." "" " Let me hear 'em -- Continental Ar ena." "" " On one." "" " Thompson-Boling." "" " Up on two." "" " Trans World Dome." "" " They ar e coming." "" " America West." "" " On four." "Dana, we're still waiting for Trans World Dome, but your team's on the field." "I think it's strange that Isaac isn't her e." "When was he supposed to get in?" "Uh, he said he'd be her e well bef or e the show started." "The show hasn't started yet." "Yeah, but he said he'd be her e well bef or e the show started." "It's now two minutes bef or e the show is starting." "" " Was he coming f rom the airport?" "" " Yeah." "Maybe he stopped off." "" " Wher e?" "" " For a pr etzel." "I'm serious." "He was supposed to " "Well, he has been in Europe f or 2 weeks." "He hasn't had a decent pr etzel." "Maybe he stopped off, and that was the cause f or the delay." "And how long does it take to buy a pr etzel?" "Well, you've punctur ed a hole in my theory." "" " Also Bobbi isn't her e yet." "" " She called f rom the car." "" " And?" "" " Stopped off f or a pr etzel." "" " Jer emy." "" " She's on her way in." "Dave:" "Roll VTR." "45 seconds live." "This day has got the earmarks, Casey." "Wher e's Rebecca?" "I ask you that." "She was gonna come by and hang out f or a little bit, yet she's down in her office hanging out with Steve Sisco." "But you'r e fine." "Rebecca isn't her e." "Isaac isn't her e." "Ther e's a strangeness about this day." "30 seconds live." "Eli's coming." "Eli?" "From the Thr ee Dog Night song." "Yes?" "Eli is something bad, a darkness." ""Eli's coming." "Hide your heart, girl."" "Eli's an inveterate womanizer." "I think you'r e getting the song wrong." "I know I'm getting the song wrong, but when I first heard it, that's what I thought it meant." "Things stick with you that way." "In 3...2..." "Good afternoon." "From New York City," "I'm Casey McCall alongside Dan Rydell." "Lions, Tigers, and Bearcats!" "Oh, my!" "We've got expanded coverage of the NCAA men's basketball tournament," "A.K.A. "March Madness."" "We'll be taking you to Knoxville, East Rutherf ord, and St. Louis, wher e the Jayhawks ar e about to tip-off, and we want to bring you up to date on some developments out in Phoenix." "So we'r e gonna take you to the America West Ar ena right after this." "You'r e watching a special Saturday expanded edition of "Sports Night" on CSC." "We'r e just getting started, so stick around." "We'r e out." "Kim:" "Two minutes back." "They say it's always calmest bef or e the storm." "That's not true." "I'm a serious sailor." "It isn't calm bef or e the storm." "Stuff happens." "Look who's her e." "Hi, Casey." "Hey, Bobbi." "Hello, Dan." "Eli's coming." "[ Sighs ]" "How ar e you doin'?" "I'm fine, Dan." "I'm doing fine." "Dave:" "In 3...2..." "Hello again." "We'll send you back to Knoxville in just a moment, but first I'm joined by CSC analyst Bobbi Bernstein." "Bobbi, is Virginia's first-half pr ess a surprise to anyone?" "Dan, the Cavs came out on def ense doing exactly what they said they'd do, and that's contain Martin McMurtry." "Let's go to the first-half videotape, wher e you could see..." "What do you know?" "They said his plane landed f our hours ago." "And ther e's no answer at the house?" "No." "Jeremy:" "Dana, no kidding." "Saturday night, coming in f rom JFK, if he took the Triboro, f our hours wouldn't be a r ecord." "Yeah, okay." "Elliott, call the airline." "Call Heathrow." "" " See if he got on the plane." "" " Okay." "Bobbi: ...down by six with McMurtry posting up, and the defense just collapses on him." "That's what Virginia's been doing all season, Dan, and that's what Georgia Tech is gonna see all night long." "And how's Rebecca's ankle?" "I'm sorry." "Rick..." "O'Brien -- how's Rick O'Brien's ankle?" "X-rays ar e negative, and O'Brien could see some action in the second half." "Thanks very much." "Bobbi Bernstein will be with us throughout the evening as we send you back to Thompson-Boling Ar ena in Knoxville, Tennessee." "Dave:" "We're out." "Sorry about that." "Don't worry about it." "It's hard not to notice you'r e a little calmer than usual." "Look, Danny " "I know you'r e worried I'm gonna go turbo on you." "It's r eally okay." "" " What's r eally okay?" " lt." " lt?" "" " Yes." "Bobbi, I don't think " "I don't know why you'r e pr etending you don't r emember." "You'r e obviously not addleminded." "[ Sighs ]" "Let's just f orget it." "No, let's not f orget it." "You know, I've done enough rotten things to women I like." "Ther e's no question I'm going straight to hell." "I don't r eally need you padding the ballot box." "" " Dan..." "" " The r eason I never called you after sleeping with you in Spain is that I've never slept with you in Spain." "And the r eason I never slept with you in Spain is that I've never been to Spain." "And the next time you bring this up, you better be on with the photograph of me in a hotel room with you in Spain." "That's me." "Yes." "Can you r ead what it says on the towel?" ""Hotel de Espana"?" "Yes." "" " The Hotel de Espana is in Spain?" "" " Yes." "Can I have that pictur e back now?" "Wait a second." "That's me." "That's me in this pictur e..." " but that's not you." "" " Yes, it is." "" " No, it's not." "I know this girl." "" " Yeah." "" " Mnh-mnh." "I know this girl." "" " Yes." "Her name's Roberta." "Oh, holy cow." "Bobbi Bernstein." "Nice to meet you." "Bobbi, this looks nothing like you. l-I " "Yeah." "I mean " "I turned into quite the babe, didn't I?" "Look, I -- I mean, I -- " " Honestly, I..." "" " Yeah." "" " My ankle's fine." "" " Hey!" "Put some ice on it, shot me up with cortisone, and I'm good to go." "This is Rebecca Wells." "She works downstairs." "Bobbi Bernstein." "" " Hi." "" " Nice to meet you." "You have time f or coff ee?" "Nat, do I have a little time?" "Natalie: 4 1/2 minutes." "I'm gonna look at tape." "Yeah." "" " Can I make you a sandwich?" "" " No, thanks." "" " In f act, I r eally didn't even want coff ee." "" " We have espr esso and cappuccino." "" " What I meant was -- " " And due to a budget surplus, I can now off er you latte." "" " Dan..." "" " But it's gonna look and taste an awf ul lot like the espr esso and cappuccino." "" " Danny." "" " In ther e." "Was that weird f or you?" "Seeing Steve Sisco in your office?" "" " Yes." "" " No." "" " Really?" "" " Yes." "" " It wasn't?" "" " No." "" " It wasn't weird f or you?" "" " No." "It was weird f or me." "" " Don't you want to ask me why he was ther e?" "" " No." "" " Really?" "" " It's none of my business." "" " It's a little your business." "" " We've been dating f or two weeks." "He was in my office on a Saturday." "Why does everyone car e it's Saturday?" "Would it have been okay if he'd been in your office on a Tuesday?" "" " I mean..." "" " Would it?" "It's none of my business." "So you don't want to know why he was in my office on a Saturday?" "No." "Why was he in your office on a Saturday?" "Danny, Steve and I ar en't divorced." "You'r e not?" "No." "You'r e married?" "We'r e separated." "I see." "" " Ar e you upset?" "" " No." "" " Really?" "" " Yes." "Eh, get away f rom me with that thing, huh?" "Of course I'm upset." "What, ar e you nuts?" "Huh?" "Ar e you -- ar e you just some nutty nut girl who's nuts?" "There's a difference between divorced and separated." "One is divorced, the other is separated." "That's why they have those names." "I never imagined in a building populated by me, you, Dana, Casey, Jer emy, Natalie," "Bobbi Bernstein would turn out to be the sanest person her e." "Separated means you'r e thinking about getting divorced." "It also means you'r e thinking about not getting divorced." "" " Ar e you finished?" "" " No, I'm not finished." "Yes, I'm finished." "I'm sorry I lied to you." "If it's any consolation, I never f elt like I was lying." "I f elt like I was withholding the truth." "Yeah, that's a huge consolation, Rebecca." "Kim:" "Dan, 60 seconds." "[ Sighs ] So, what was he in your office f or, huh?" "It was nothing, right?" "He just stopped by?" "" " He wants to go to counseling." "" " Let me tell you something." "That guy could use some counseling." "I mean he is -- among other things -- an inveterate womanizer, not unlike the title character f rom the song by Thr ee Dog Night -- if you choose to look at it that way, which I don't." "I see it as a portent of something dark, but that's not what you meant by counseling." "No." "He wants to go to couples counseling?" "Yes." "With you?" "Yes." "I gotta go back on the air." "" " Danny..." "" " Just a second." "I'll be right back." "[ Sighs ]" "" " We're in the studio in 20." "" " Stand by, 14." "Stand by, F /X-A-1, apple-1 ." "What's the rule on when do you call the police?" "Well, at my house it was 15 minutes after school let out." "Dave:" "In 3...2..." "So much basketball, so little time." "We'r e gonna bring you some first-half highlights of Memphis/Cincinnati bef or e we toss you out to the America West Ar ena, but, first, a paid commercial announcement f rom one of our many sponsors." "You'r e watching a special expanded edition of "Sports Night" on CSC, so stick around." "" " We'r e out." "" " Don't anybody go too f ar." "Hang on a second." "I f eel stupid." "I'll be right back." "" " I'm saying five mor e minutes." "" " Till what?" "" " Till I call the police." "" " Okay." "" " Hey." "Jeremy:" "Hey, Casey." "Hey, Jer emy." "[ Sighs ]" "Boy, it's been a long time since I've been in her e during a show." "I can't tell you how much we've missed you." "Thank you." "So, what ar e you guys doing?" "Sometimes it's a little hard to tell." "I think the show is going well." "" " Do you?" "" " Yes." "'Cause your approval is important to me." "Dana, whatever we'r e gonna do, can we not do it in f ront of the help?" "I'll be right outside." "Dave:" "Three minutes back." "[ Telephones ringing ]" "What's the problem?" "" " Let me off the hook." "" " For what?" "You know f or what." "" " I don't." "" " You do." "" " I r eally don't." "" " You r eally do." "You dumped the show off to Sally." "It was after 1:00 in the morning." "That's right." "Fedrigotti took it to a fifth set, Casey." "The match was never gonna end." "" " Plus Gordon was her e." "" " Yes." "" " And Gordon was mad." "" " Yes." "So you dumped off the show." "I handed it off." "" " For Gordon." "" " Yes." "" " And you want me to let you off the hook?" "" " Yes." "Well, later, when ther e's time, I'll see if I can let you off the hook." "Right now ther e's not time to let you off the hook." "Right now ther e's our show." "You'll let me know if something mor e important comes along, right?" "Yeah." "" " Casey..." "" " I'm ther e." "[ Telephones ringing ]" "What's going on?" "I want so badly to rip his f ace off!" "In 10!" "Rebecca!" "Did you think I'd left?" "I was looking f or you." "I wouldn't have." "Listen, ther e's something I f orgot to tell you bef or e." "What?" "If you want to work on r epairing your marriage," "I will, in whatever way you want, support that." "Really?" "Yeah." "Really." "I think I'd rather not think about it any mor e today." "That's okay, too." "Thanks." "He's such a bad guy, Rebecca." "I'm sorry if that hurts you, but I know these things." "I'm not that good myself." "Can I stay her e and watch you on TV?" "Yeah, sur e." "8 for 12 f rom the field, perfect f rom the line, he leads all scor ers with 31 points, besting his r egular season average by five." "Back to Larry and George." "We'r e out." "What's up?" "" " McMurtry -- 5 f or 5 f rom the arc." "" " He's looking good." "I got to get my head in the game." "I've been out of it all day." "" " Dan, it's you and me next, right?" "" " Yeah." "" " Want to go over some stuff?" "" " Yeah." "You want to take a look at this?" "No, I better go talk to her." "I've got some pr etty compelling stats f rom the Duke game, so if you ask me about North Carolina's bench " "What a jerk I was." "Uh, to who?" "To you." "I should have called you." "If my not calling you made you f eel like any less than what you ar e, I'm sorry." "Thank you." "All right." "" " So, I'm gonna start you off on the North Carolina bench?" "" " Yeah." "Oh, like he's never made his personal lif e a priority." "Well, I guess we won't count the 10 years that he was married to Lisa, and I had to stand around and watch that." "" " And who the hell is he to judge -- " " Dana..." "" " No, l-I r eally don't understand this." " l-I know " "Who in the hell is he to judge the quality of my r elationship with Gordon?" "Dana." "Oh, ex cellent." "'Cause I'm due f or another scolding." "Dana..." "Isaac's at Columbia Pr esbyterian." "He had a stroke." "[ Telephones ringing ]" "W-What?" "Isaac had a stroke at the airport." "" " I don't know any more than that." "" " Oh, my God." "I have to go tell Danny." "Dave: 30 seconds back." "I need a drink of water." "" " Coaching vacancies would be good f or the seven block, but I can tease it right now." "" " Okay." "" " Dan..." "" " Yeah." "Isaac had a stroke." "'Eli's comin' '" "Is it bad?" " 'Eli's comin' ' " " We'll go to the hospital after the show." "Is it bad?" "Yeah." "Dave:" "In 10." "You okay?" " 'Girl, you'd better hide ' " " Yeah." "" " Danny?" "" " Casey, I'm fine." " 'Your heart ' " " In 3...2..." "Welcome back." " 'Your lovin' heart ' " " If you'r e joining us f rom East Rutherf ord," "I'm joined once again by CSC analyst Bobbi Bernstein." " 'Eli's a-comin' and the cards say ' " " Bobbi, let's talk about the North Carolina bench." " 'Oh, broken heart ' " " Nine players -- averaging at least six points a game." "Larry Rambis, back f rom the hamstring   'Eli's comin' hide your heart, girl ' " " Which gives the Tar Heels?" " 'Eli's comin' hide your heart, girl ' " " Another 7.2 rebounds per game..." " 'Girl, Eli's a-comin' you'd better hide ' " " I think it's worth mentioning they've got" " 'Girl, Eli's a-comin' you'd better hide ' -- f our underclassmen who ar e averaging..." " 'Girl, Eli's a-comin' you'd better hide ' -- [ Conversation f ades ]" "'Girl, Eli's comin' hide your heart, girl '" "'Hide it '" "'You better, better hide your heart '" "[ Rock music plays ]"