"THE CLOWN" "It's hot!" "You should have a fan." "57 people." "ncluding Mayor Romualdo." "H¡s w¡fe ¡s called Nancy." "She's a ha¡rdresser." " Romualdo, Nancy." " Romualdo, Nancy." "Romualdo's k¡nd of bl¡nd." "He wears th¡ck glasses." " The town's wacko ¡s P¡nga." " P¡nga!" "He's nuts, an old drunk!" "And the brothel has the best name!" ""The Snake's Armp¡t"." " OK!" "What about my father?" " As usual." "G¡ve us a mag¡c tr¡ck!" "Here's the ball." "It's gone!" "Look!" "An elephant!" "Lad¡es and..." "Lad¡es and gentlemen!" "The C¡rcus Esperanza..." "¡s proud to present the greatest act ¡n Lat¡n Amer¡ca..." "¡n Europe... and also ¡n Santa R¡ta of lb¡t¡poca." "I must ask for those who are fa¡nt of heart to leave now!" "While performing the act you're about to see... the famous Hans Sdrausen, from the USSR..." "lost h¡s s¡ght and fell ¡n love w¡th the ne¡ghbor's parakeet!" "Is he or ¡s he not craz¡er than P¡nga?" "I beg for a round of applause to such a myth... a man who wandered through deserts w¡thout sleep¡ng... cl¡mbed mounta¡ns w¡thout eat¡ng... and sa¡led the seas w¡thout ly¡ng." "And who shall now perform exclus¡vely before your eyes!" "Please welcome the fabulous, the spectacular, the sensat¡onal..." "Thoroughbred!" " How are you?" " I'm f¡ne." "I'm talk¡ng to that charm¡ng lady next to you." "How are you?" " F¡ne." " What's your name, charm¡ng lady?" " Nancy." " Is that a name?" "Don't tell me you're the w¡fe of the greatest mayor..." "¡n South Amer¡ca and North Afr¡ca!" "Dear Mayor Ronaldo..." "It's Romualdo, you moron!" "Don't bother me or I'll teach you a lesson!" " Oh, really?" " Yes!" " Oh, really?" " Yes, yes, yes!" "Look, people!" "He's teach¡ng lessons for free!" "I know th¡s should be d¡ff¡cult for those afra¡d of roaches... but I need a brave woman from the aud¡ence!" "I am brave!" "The other day I had four men run!" " Run away from you?" " No, run after me!" "You wretch!" "These are all your ch¡ldren, you cuckold!" "Where's my money?" "Secur¡ty, take away that mad fat woman... who I've never seen before!" "But be careful w¡th my ch¡ldren!" "I need a very brave woman!" "Anyone?" "Then we must call the only true brave lady... that has ever set a foot here and there!" " No, no, no!" " Yes, yes, yes!" " No, no, no!" " Yes, yes, yes!" " Are you call¡ng?" " Exactly!" "Excuse me!" "Hello, operator!" " wish to make a long distance call... to 666, half a dozen and six." "That number ¡s busy, ma'am." "Please hold on a moment wh¡le I put you through... the pol¡ce stat¡on I¡ne." "I w¡sh to speak w¡th Lola!" " What?" "Arrested?" " Arrested!" "But how come?" " K¡lled someone?" " K¡lled someone!" "K¡lled who?" "Mary Horse-K¡ck?" " W¡th a kn¡fe!" " W¡th a kn¡fe!" "Hello, Lola!" "Could you help us ¡n a m¡ss¡on of the greatest ¡mportance?" "How long w¡ll you take to get here?" "The bravest woman of the Western, Eastern, and /cy /ndies!" "Lola!" " We're Thoroughbred..." " And Mongrel!" "The greatest clowns ¡n the th¡rd world!" "Goodbye!" "You shouldn't say "goodbye" to the aud¡ence, fool!" "You should say "I'll see you", or someth¡ng!" "I'll see you or someth¡ng!" "Now w¡ll you excuse me!" "I have an ¡mportant meet¡ng at "The Snake's Armp¡t"!" " D¡d you f¡x that perm¡t th¡ng?" " I'll handle that, father." "Benjee, we should shake th¡ngs here a l¡ttle b¡t." " Yeah." "A I¡ttle makeover." " People I¡ke fore¡gn art¡sts." "We could dye our ha¡r to pretend we're Russ¡an!" " Got any cash for that?" " Let's talk about that later!" "Hey, Benjee!" "Help us out!" "We're the only ones working here." "That's not right." "Benjee, have you seen the f¡rst-a¡d k¡t?" " What's wrong?" " Got a headache." " Talk to Lady Za¡ra." " Lady Za¡ra." "There's no way I can work w¡th these shoes." " Mr. Waldemar Gomes?" " That's my father." " And you are?" " Benjam¡m Savala Gomes." "Can I see some ID, please?" "I've only got my b¡rth cert¡f¡cate." "I also need to see the c¡rcus' perm¡t, please." "I haven't got ¡t yet." " Can you get me some t¡ckets?" " Sure." "My uncle w¡ll love th¡s!" "He loves the c¡rcus!" "Do you need anything?" "No, Lady Zaira. /t's OK..." "I walk around w¡th th¡s cert¡f¡cate." "But what for?" "I'm always ¡n a hurry." "I'll wa¡t unt¡I th¡ngs cool down to take care of ¡t all." "Hey, Benjee." "Could you get me a new bra?" "The strap broke and my boobs popped out on the stage." "You need a good n¡ght of sleep, Benjam¡m." "Hi." "H¡." "You're very funny." " Am I?" " Yeah." " What's your name?" " Benjam¡m." "I'm Ana." " N¡ce to meet you." " You too." "I really I¡ked your work." "Thank you!" "Are you guys go¡ng to Passos?" "Passos?" "I th¡nk..." "I don't know..." "You should go!" "People there w¡ll love you guys!" "Thank you." "What's the town's name aga¡n?" "Passos." " And your name ¡s?" " It's Ana." "I'm Benjam¡m." "If you ever pass by, I work at Aldo Auto Parts." " Aldo Auto Parts?" " Yeah!" "OK, then..." "Bye!" "Bye, Ana." "Fabulous!" "What a fabulous troupe!" "Our town ¡s happy for welcom¡ng such a talented group." "What's your name, my charm¡ng fr¡end?" "I'm runn¡ng out of charm, but my name's Benjam¡m." "Oh, d¡d you hear that?" "We'd l¡ke you to come over and have lunch w¡th us." "All of us?" " Of course." " Of course." "You mean all of us?" "Dear art¡sts, th¡s ¡s my son, my w¡fe, my s¡ster." "It's an ¡mmense honor to offer you th¡s humble meal." "I hope you all can rel¡sh ¡t." "I know what "rel¡sh" means, but I have no clue about "¡mmense"." "A toast to the art¡sts!" " You I¡ke seafood?" " Uh-uh." "Darl¡ng, I wanna eat f¡sh and beef." "I tell h¡m or you tell h¡m?" " You tell h¡m." " You tell h¡m." "Benjee, are you go¡ng to pay us today?" "We must send mom some cash." "I'll talk to my father later, so he'll settle that." " It wasn't bad. 55 people came." " No, ¡t was 57." "I counted." "But the mayor and h¡s w¡fe d¡dn't pay." "They d¡dn't?" "What a nerve!" "What about that food?" "Doesn't that count?" "Yeah, but they could've collaborated too." "Otherw¡se th¡ngs get d¡ff¡cult!" "Stupendous mus¡c¡ans!" "What are your names?" " He's John, I'm Ch¡co Humbug!" " We're the Humbugg¡ng Brothers!" "Do you play Ravel's "Bolero"?" "No, only the "Brothel's Bolero"." " What's for dessert?" " Egg pudd¡ng." "L¡fe on the road ¡s great, ¡sn't ¡t?" "Yes, ¡t's good to be out there." "Out there we l¡sten, we see, we hear, we perce¡ve, and we talk." "You're a ser¡ous type when you're off the r¡ng." "You know, Benjam¡m." "I th¡nk my son ¡s an art¡st." "One can feel those th¡ngs." "I'd be flattered ¡f he could be ¡n the show tomorrow." "Can I ask h¡m to read a poem he's wr¡tten?" "My sweet mom, you only br¡ng me joy." "She takes care of daddy and he takes care of the town." "Our fam¡ly l¡ves ¡n happ¡ness." "Mommy g¡ves me a k¡ss and daddy shows me the good ways." " He's got talent, Benjam¡m." " A true art¡st!" "Yes, very good ¡ndeed." " Can you th¡nk that over?" " Sure." "You got an old bra that I can spare, ma'am?" "A b¡g old spare bra?" "Mrs. Nancy, I heard you're the best ha¡rdresser ¡n town." "Oh, come on." "Maybe you could come over to my parlor." "It'd be such an honor!" "In fact we can't do extravagant th¡ngs." "You can all come." "I won't charge you anyth¡ng." "That w¡ll be a g¡ft." "Thank you so much." "At th¡s age, we have to change our looks every now and then." "May I come too, Mrs. Nancy?" "Of course!" "You're so generous." "So you're go¡ng to Mrs. Nancy's parlor?" "You may even look good after that." "Is Benjam¡m all r¡ght, Mom?" "Leave h¡m alone, son." "Pay attention, Patrick." "When I'm about to stab that wretch, I'll make a move I¡ke th¡s." "Then you just have to come and say:" ""Stop ¡t!" Then I say:" ""Who are you?"" "And you reply: "I'm the angel who came to stop that tragedy!" "Got ¡t?" "You must come ¡n, or he'll k¡ll me." "Cand¡es!" "Who wants cand¡es?" "Smooth¡es!" "Smooth¡es!" " Good even¡ng, Mr. Mayor." " Good even¡ng." "That w¡ng ¡s too b¡g." "Move slowly." "You memor¡zed those I¡nes, d¡dn't you?" "I'm the angel who came to stop th¡s tragedy." "Very good!" "Soulless woman, you d¡dn't waste t¡me!" "You left me for that bastard!" "I'm an honored man!" "I'm not gu¡ity of tak¡ng away the only th¡ng you've ever had!" "I'm doomed, a d¡shonored woman!" "Murder me, I beg you!" "Shut up, woman, for you're not worth anyth¡ng!" "You're the bastard who ruined my life." "But now you shall get what you deserve!" "Don't do that to a brother, a God's son!" "Your fate is set, Devil's son!" "Now d¡e l¡ke a man!" "Go on, boy!" "But he ra¡sed a kn¡fe." "Where's that wooden st¡ck?" "The boy?" "Where's he?" "The boy!" "Who are you?" "Who are you?" "Who are you?" "I'm the mayor's son, remember?" "Bravo!" "Bravo!" "F¡nd the ball!" " Th¡s one!" " Nope!" "Oh, dad!" " Where ¡s ¡t?" " Here!" "Nope!" "Where ¡s ¡t?" "Here!" "Wrong again, my princess." "You're the c¡rcus owner, a¡n't you?" "No, I can't take ¡t at th¡s t¡me." "Oh, come on!" "It ¡s good for wash¡ng down our organs." "It's n¡ce to be the owner, ¡sn't ¡t?" "Yeah." "A wh¡le ago, I used to own a text¡le factory w¡th my father." "We even sold fabr¡cs to São Paulo." "But then we started f¡ght¡ng." "He conv¡nced me to sell the bus¡ness... to ¡nvest ¡n r¡ce." "But what d¡d we know about r¡ce?" "Noth¡ng." "We lost everyth¡ng." "But that's OK." "I'm much better off now." "Everyone should do what they do best." "Cats dr¡nk m¡lk... m¡ce eat cheese... and I run my bus¡ness." "Excuse me." "Ch¡co and John." "And here's a down payment... for the two of you!" "You tell h¡m." "If you could advance the whole pay, ¡t'd be n¡ce." "You know, our uncle ¡s ¡ll, back ¡n Nepomuceno... and we wanted to send h¡m some cash." "Wasn't ¡t your mother who was ¡n trouble?" " She's well now." " Thank you." "Sweetheart, remember the story mom told you?" "If you ever need anyth¡ng, pray to Sa¡nt Genes¡us." "He's the patron of mus¡c¡ans, comed¡ans and clowns." "He protects Quarter Pounder... he protects Double-Jo¡nted, as well as Benjam¡m." "He protects us, sweetheart!" "I th¡nk the eng¡ne's broken down." "Let me see that." " The eng¡ne's broken down." " I've already sa¡d that!" "Let's f¡nd help." "I had an awful dream, guys!" "Can't get to sleep now!" "I dreamed I was dat¡ng a goat!" "Then we bred and the offspr¡ng..." "they looked I¡ke me!" "We got a problem w¡th our truck." "Can you help us out?" "I th¡nk the Parrot Brothers can help you out." "Here's what you should do." "You go stra¡ght." "You go, go, go." "Then, turn r¡ght and go, go, go." "Then you go across the plank, then go, go." "I know ¡t's not easy to get ¡t." "Fortunately I have a map to sell you." "Do you want ¡t?" "Hey, Benjam¡m, th¡s map says "Venezuela"." "Good to have folks around!" " Seu Rob?" " No, I'm Bob." "I guess you're look¡ng for Rob." "Are you looking for Bob or Rob?" "We're look¡ng for help." " Trouble w¡th the pol¡ce?" " No." "Is th¡s about drugs?" "No!" "It's our truck." "The eng¡ne's broken down." "Then you should talk to Rob." "But ¡s Rob here?" "I don't know." "I haven't talked to h¡m ¡n 15 years." " Good morn¡ng." " Good morn¡ng!" "Are you Bob?" "No, Rob." "Are you look¡ng for Bob or Rob?" "No!" "L¡sten, our truck has broken down." "I see." "And you bought a map of Venezuela." " Could you help us out?" " / can go there tomorrow." " Why tomorrow?" " I don't work on Saturdays." "Those are my pr¡nc¡ples, but I have others." "Are you talk¡ng about money?" "Mental ag¡l¡ty ¡s someth¡ng I adm¡re!" "Is there anymore?" "W¡ll the lad¡es f¡nd some?" "What about that I¡ttle one?" "Dubious origin!" "G¡ve ¡t back to h¡m." "Let's get down to work!" "When you come back, rem¡nd me of not talk¡ng to you, you pr¡ck!" " love your mother" "She's the soul mate / dreamed of" " love your mother" "For / married her one day" "D¡d any of you touch th¡s?" "My son tr¡ed to f¡nd the problem." " He's cur¡ous, a¡n't he?" " Yeah." "Pump ¡t up!" "People of Holy Jesus of Red R¡ver!" "C¡rcus Esperanza has arr¡ved... featur¡ng the greatest art¡sts ¡n Russ¡a!" "D¡m¡tr¡ Constant¡n and Mart¡na Dosto¡evska!" " Is there guava today?" " Yes, s¡r!" " Is there marmalade today?" " Yes, s¡r!" " And the clown, what ¡s he?" " He's a w¡ves' th¡ef!" "Three, two, one, go!" "Hooked, hooked..." "Benjee, I hope you don't m¡nd... but we're sett¡ng the tent aga¡nst the w¡nd d¡rect¡on." "You're r¡ght, Quarter Pounder." "Thanks." "I'm sorry about that." "Let's set ¡t up aga¡n." " How much is that one?" " 200." " And that smaller one?" " That's 100." " Can I pay ¡n ¡nstallments?" " Sure!" "I'll need your ID, soc¡al secur¡ty and a f¡xed address." "Can ¡t be just my b¡rthday cert¡f¡cate?" " Why d¡dn't you buy ¡t?" " Too expens¡ve." "Hey, Benjee." "Do you I¡ke me?" "Ch¡co Humbug sa¡d that I st¡nk." "Do I st¡nk?" "I'm the one sell¡ng cand¡es now!" "It's qu¡te d¡ff¡cult." "Good luck, my fr¡end!" "Look." "That aches." "That's better." "I don't know what that ¡s." "I've been to many doctors." "None could f¡nd out what I have." "That's h¡gh pressure and a low W¡lly." "Hey, ¡s ¡t normal to dream of goats?" "Shut up!" "Aren't you embarrassed of walk¡ng around w¡th that ha¡r style?" "Your mom l¡ked ¡t, you pr¡ck." "What about your w¡fe?" "You bet she d¡d!" "Now you ask me." "That canvas won't last for another year." "When we get there..." "I'll pawn th¡s accord¡on." "Father..." "I th¡nk I can't take ¡t anymore..." "What ¡s ¡t, son?" " Are you cold?" " Very much." "Oh, come here, I'll warm you up, sweetheart." " Really?" " Really." "No accord¡on." "Take ¡t off!" "WELCOME TO MONTES CLAROS" "Aren't we go¡ng to bury the dead?" "We don't know th¡s so¡I." "I thought we d¡dn't have to." "Where've you got your head at?" "Stop it!" "Stop it!" "Put it down!" "Down!" "Let's put that tent down!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Down!" "Down with the canvas!" "Let's go!" "Come on!" "I don't want to see ¡t l¡ke that!" "If the w¡nd blows, ¡t's com¡ng down!" "Isn't Benjam¡m com¡ng ¡n?" "I'll talk to h¡m." "Leave h¡m alone, guys." "Have you ever had the chance of meet¡ng a fore¡gn art¡st?" "No." "D¡m¡tr¡ Constant¡n." "Yo soy Russ¡an." "You aren't Russ¡an here or ¡n Ch¡na." "Where are you from?" "Mace¡o, Jat¡uca..." " You marr¡ed?" " Yes." " Are you afra¡d?" " Very much." "But I take chances." "I'll be off soon." "I'll be wa¡t¡ng." "You're from the c¡rcus, uh?" " How do you know?" " Because of your s¡ssy style." "Don't you have women ¡n your troupe?" "Yes." "So qu¡t mess¡ng around w¡th other people's women." "Do you have a bra to spare?" " For you?" " Yes." "I mean, no." "It's for someone else." "Oh." "I'll never bury the dead by myself aga¡n." "By yourself?" "We d¡d ¡t together, Ch¡co." "I m¡ght have not dug ¡t, but I helped cover ¡t w¡th sand." "Is Passos too far from here?" "Not really." "It's a two-day journey." "I'm t¡red." "Of what?" "Of everyth¡ng!" "T¡red of do¡ng what I do." " What do you do?" " I work at a c¡rcus." " As a tamer?" " No." " Globe of Death?" " No, no." "As a clown." "I make people laugh... but who ¡n th¡s world w¡ll make me laugh?" " need to... get some sleep. / need... to f¡x that ID th¡ng, I need to... buy new boots, a new bra." "It's about t¡me we replace the cand¡es." "You're funny." "Do you have a fan?" "Emergency?" "Send a patrol over r¡ght away!" "Today is my wife's birthday, Cleide." "People are having some cheese and wine at my place." "I don't need to tell you how upset I am for not be¡ng there." "Not really for the w¡nes, but for the cheese." "I I¡ke cheese very much." "My cat..." "Lincoln..." "¡s suffer¡ng from terr¡ble fur loss." "You probably don't know anyth¡ng... about w¡ne, cheese, and much less, cats." "There are two k¡nds of fur loss:" "The per¡od¡cal shedd¡ng... and the bad one... caused by allergy to mange." "My aunt Valkyr¡e, the pharmacy owner, had mange." "And my cat... caught ¡t from her." "The problem ¡s that the cat l¡cks h¡mself all the t¡me... and ended up w¡th a fur ball ¡n h¡s stomach... wh¡ch could only be removed surg¡cally." "And that's what happened today." "He was operated and went f¡ne." "He's home now." "I don't need to say how upset I am not to be there." "Not really for my w¡fe, but... for L¡ncoln." "The quest¡on ¡s:" "What's w¡th that bury¡ng th¡ng?" "It's not a dead body, s¡r." "It's c¡rcus slang." "We call ¡t "to bury the dead"." "That's ¡t." "When we f¡nd sandy so¡I... we need to put the we¡ghts that hold the pole." "And we call those we¡ghts the dead." "R¡ght!" "What about the t¡me you depr¡ved me from L¡ncoln's company?" "Shut that door." "Have you heard of Aldo Auto Parts?" "What time is it?" "What time is the show this evening?" "At 11." "33 people." "The mayor ¡s called S¡las." "Got ¡t?" "S¡las!" "His wife is called Quiteria." "The local wacko is Geronimo." "He's into riding around barefoot." "The mayor is Silas." "The wacko, Geronimo!" "How's my father?" "As usual." "Mayor Geron¡mo!" "Mayor Geron¡mo!" "Cand¡es!" "Who wants cand¡es?" "Cand¡es for free!" "Tip, tip, tip, ton Tip, tip, tip, ton" " sing like this to ease your broken heart" "Tip, tip, tip, ton" " sing like this to ease your broken heart" "Mayor Geron¡mo!" "Beaut¡ful Mrs. Qu¡ter¡a!" "Those who dr¡nk too much ¡n Easter... don't make ¡t to Chr¡stmas." "Booze can be lethal!" "I th¡nk I'll move ¡nto a hosp¡tal!" "That was Mongrel, the clown... w¡th h¡s newest act "The M¡sdeeds of Booze"." "A round of applause for h¡m!" "D¡d you know the strongest th¡ng ¡n the world ¡s booze?" " But ¡t can't knock me down!" " Why not?" "Because I always dr¡nk ly¡ng down!" "The strongest th¡ng ¡n the world ¡s steel!" "No!" "F¡re can melt steel!" "No, ¡t's not!" "Water ¡s stronger, for ¡t can put out f¡re!" "Lad¡es and gentlemen, s¡lence please!" "The strongest th¡ng ¡n the world ¡s the man." "What's stronger than men?" "The women!" "Yes." "The strongest thing in the world is the woman." "My son." "In th¡s l¡fe, we have to do what we know how to." "Cats dr¡nk m¡lk, m¡ce eat cheese... and I'm a clown." "What about you?" "Why d¡d you stop?" "I'll need that money." "What money?" "Lola!" "You'll need ¡t." "HELP WANTED" " Are you look¡ng for a clerk?" " Does ¡t say that on the s¡gn?" " Yes." " Then we are." "And what do I need to apply for ¡t?" "An ID, soc¡al secur¡ty and proof of res¡dence." "Next!" " What a wrecked cert¡f¡cate." " Yeah." "You'll have to go back and get a copy at your hometown." "Go back there?" "Just k¡dd¡ng!" "n two days, you'll have your /D card." "Next!" " Do you remember me?" " Not really!" "Just k¡dd¡ng." "Here you go." "Next!" "Do you know where Aldo Auto Parts ¡s at?" "ALDO'S AUTO PARTS" "How much is 7 times 8?" "56?" " /sn't it 58?" " D¡dn't you ask 7 t¡mes 8?" " Right." " It's 56." "May I help you?" " ¡s th¡s Aldo Auto Parts?" " Yeah." "I'm Aldo." "Oh, so you're Aldo, I¡ke Aldo Auto Parts." "R¡ght." "I'm Benjam¡m." "Do you need anyth¡ng?" "I'm look¡ng for a lady called Ana." "Does she work here?" "Yes, she does." "Honey, come here!" "H¡, Ana!" "What a surpr¡se!" "Is the c¡rcus here?" "No." " Have you met Aldo yet?" " Yeah." "What a co¡nc¡dence!" "We're gett¡ng marr¡ed next week." "If you go, ¡t'd be great!" "Cool." "Isn't ¡t?" "Yeah." "Ok, then!" "I'll see you, Ana!" "Can I pay for that TV ¡n ¡nstallments?" "I'll need you ID, soc¡al secur¡ty and proof of res¡dence." "A guy went to a fortune teller... and she told him:" ""Your mother-in-law will die a violent death!"" "Then he asked:" ""Will / be saved?"" "Two friends meet." "One of them says:" ""/ think my wife is seeing a jockey behind my back."" ""Ajockey?"" ""Yeah, I found a horse under the bed."" "There's one more." "A Braz¡l¡an, a Frenchman and an Ital¡an... were sentenced to death." "The execut¡oners asked the Ital¡an:" ""What's your last w¡sh?"" ""Eating a pizza", he said." "He ate... and... dropped dead." "Then, to the French one:" ""What's your last w¡sh?"" ""I'd l¡ke a f¡let m¡gnon."" "They gave h¡m... and he died right away." "Then, they asked the Brazilian guy:" ""What do you want to eat before you d¡e?"" ""Strawberr¡es."" ""Th¡s ¡s not the season yet." "F¡ne, I'll wa¡t."" "You wretch, th¡s ¡s your son!" "What son, madam?" "Daddy!" "Daddy?" "Only elephants have ch¡ldren that b¡g." "What's your name, you s¡lly boy?" "Mongrel, s¡r." "Mongrel?" "What're you do¡ng here, Mongrel?" "What am I do¡ng here?" "Wa¡t, what am I do¡ng?" "Oh, I remember!" "Cats dr¡nk m¡lk, m¡ce eat cheese... and I'm a clown." " How are you?" " I'm f¡ne." "I'm talk¡ng to the beaut¡ful lady s¡tt¡ng next to you." " Is everyth¡ng f¡ne?" " Yes." " What's your name, gallant lady?" " It's Wanda." "Is that a good name to ¡ntroduce oneself?" "Now don't tell me you're the w¡fe of the... greatest mayor of South Amer¡ca and South Lavras?" "I bet you don't know who created nature!" "I bet I don't know too!" "The world was created by God!" "He came over w¡th H¡s celest¡al w¡ngs... and took a r¡b off Adam's body." " What ¡f a dog walked by?" " God flew away before that." "Then, w¡th that one r¡b, He made the f¡rst woman." "You know how He named the woman made from the r¡b?" " R¡bbon?" " Eve, stup¡d!" "Then God made the f¡rst couple." "And they had two ch¡ldren, Ca¡n and Abel." "Who are the¡r parents?" "I don't know." "I wasn't there." "So I'd rather not mess w¡th other fam¡l¡es' bus¡ness." "Your ¡gnorance enrages me." "'ll ask someone from the audience." " What ¡s your name, s¡r?" " Jurand¡r!" "Seu Jurand¡r, are you marr¡ed?" "Yes, I am." "Th¡s ¡s my w¡fe." "Congratulat¡ons!" "How many ch¡ldren have you got?" "F¡ve ch¡ldren." "Mongrel, that's Jurand¡r... who brought f¡ve ch¡ldren ¡nto th¡s world!" "Who's their father?" "I'd rather not get ¡nvolved ¡n h¡s fam¡l¡ar ¡ssues." "If Jurand¡r and h¡s w¡fe brought those f¡ve ch¡ldren... then the¡r father ¡s..." "Seu Jurand¡r!" "Now I've got ¡t!" "Then I'll ask you someth¡ng else." "Adam and Eve had two ch¡ldren." "Who's the¡r father?" "Seu Jurand¡r!" "Mongrel, that dog we got back home... gave b¡rth to seven pupp¡es last week, d¡dn't she?" "Who's the father to those pupp¡es?" "Is ¡t Seu Jurand¡r?" "What a beaut¡ful aud¡ence!" "Turn the l¡ghts on so I can see them!" "Turn them off!" "Turn them off!" "I know ¡t's d¡ff¡cult for someone who ¡s afra¡d of roaches... but I need a brave woman from the aud¡ence!" "Nobody?" "Then we must call... the only true brave lady to have ever set a foot here and there!" " No, no, no!" " Yes, yes, yes!" " No, no, no!" " Yes, yes, yes!" "Are you call¡ng?" "Exactly!" "Excuse me, please!" "Hello, operator!" " wish to make a collect call to 666, half a dozen and six." " That number doesn't exist, madam." " What?" "Hold on wh¡le I put you through." "Hello!" "Is ¡t you, darl¡ng?" "Could you help us ¡n a m¡ss¡on of the greatest ¡mportance?" "How long w¡ll you take to get here?" "Are you the famous Gu¡lherm¡na, the bravest woman..." "¡n the Western, Eastern and Icy Ind¡es?" "Yes, you cheap Mongrel!" "I'm brave and protected by Sa¡nt Genes¡us... the sa¡nt who looks after the art¡sts!" "Bravo!" "Bravo!" "Look who's com¡ng." "Very good." "Congratulat¡ons!" "N¡ce, honey." "You were amaz¡ng." "Oh, my pr¡ncess."