"I just want t you to know I have absolute faith in you handling this meeting from the buyers from Corrigans." "Then why are you making your screaming-on-the-inside face?" "I was thinking of something scary, but totally unrelated." "Really?" "What?" "Identity theft." "What?" "All they need is your social security number and bam, you're downloading thousands of dollars worth of gay porn, and you have no idea." "It's just that Corrigan's Department Store is the third largest buyer of underwear in the Midwest." "Yes, I'm aware of that." "Did you send a town car to pick them up at the airport?" "No, Dad, I sent a hot-air balloon." "If the wind's right, they should be here by next Thursday." "Dad, relax." "Everything's under control." "And besides, it's not just me, the entire company's totally focused on this." "Should I get a Chinese orphan?" "That's a lot of responsibility, dear." "Should I get a Chinese chicken salad?" "That's a lot of fat, dear." "Hey, boss." "Hey, boss." "Yourself too." "I got those ad mock-ups you wanted for the meeting." "Between you and me, we are gonna stack 'em, and rack 'em, and bring 'em home." "Says you, bucko." "Uh, what?" "I'm being high-spirited." "Kicking it around and sending it right back at ya." "Zing." "Uh, zing." "Zing?" "You little minx." "What?" "Me and the marketing director discussing the presentation?" "Oh, please." "You like him." "No, I don't." "Then how come every time you look at him you have an "eye-gasm?"" "I am nowhere near having uh-- I can't say that." "But I do like him." "How'd you know?" "You were spraying pheromones like a crop duster." "Why is everybody running around like this?" "Apparently there's a presentation that's super important." "I smell a spa day." "* Sister sister" "* Hey sister" "* Come on let's rock the boat *" "* When you find your feet on the ground *" "* That's all she wrote" "* Whoa ho ho ho" "* Whoa ho ho ho" "* Hey sister" "* Don't you wanna rock the boat *" "Twins.s01e03.(Treat.Her.Like.a.Lady).hdtv.xvid-lol" "BliŸniaczki" "Uh-oh." "Bummer face." "Why, honey?" "Well, I've been thinking about it, and I just can't help feeling like I should be at work today." "You know, I'm sure Mitchee and your father have everything under control." "Do I wanna be wrapped in kelp, or do I wanna be beaten with eucalyptus sticks?" "But it's a really important meeting." "It's with one of those big chain stores." "You know, the ones you can shoplift from because if they ban you, you don't care." "Sweetie, just leave the business stuff to daddy and your sister." "Those meetings aren't for us." "How come?" "Because there's a natural order to things." "You know?" "We are who we are." "Fish gotta swim." "Birds gotta fly." "Except flying fish." "Well?" "I don't know what I was worried about." "It's all here." "You said you weren't worried." "I'm not gonna lie to you, Mitchee." "I was lying." "But you are gonna do a great job." "How's everything coming along?" "Couldn't be better." "Mitchee's got everything under control." "You da man." "Thanks, not really a man." "This is really impressive, Mitchee." "Thanks, and if you guys look at the numbers on the seamless bra line you'll see..." "What?" "I'm sorry, I'm just having a proud dad moment." "This is my child running the company." "I feel just like I did before her first high school football game." "You... football?" "We've got a lot to do here." "She was the kicker." "You know, we had to petition the high school to let her on the team." "That's amazing." "Yep, she could boot that pigskin a country mile." "Yeah, but in a girlie way." "You know, I was going through some stuff in the garage, and I found your old helmet." "It was with your fishing rods and your weight belt." "Keep it." "Jordan, why don't you go work on this, and we'll look at it after lunch." "Okay." "I'll see ya later." "Oh, and Mitchee, are you doing anything Saturday?" "Um, I think I'm pretty open." "'Cause the shipping guys have a flag football game." "And they're short a player." "You interested?" "Uh, I'll think about it and get back to you." "Okay, well just let Jorge know." "What's the matter, big dog?" "You should dust off the old cleats." "Yeah, and when I'm done I can belch the alphabet." "What are you talkin' about?" "It's just that... you know what?" "Forget it, Dad." "Well, come on, Mitchee." "You can always tell me anything." "You say that, but whenever I try to tell you something that makes you uncomfortable you get all nervous and start guessing what I'm gonna..." "Say?" "I know." "I'm sorry." "Go on." "Dad, it's about the way that you..." "Dress?" "Dance?" "Yes, Dad, I finally decided to confront you about the way you dance." "It's the way you perceive me." "You know, you treat me like I'm a..." " A spy?" " No!" "Well, how am I supposed to know?" "I'm not a mind reader." "Well, if you'd just let me finish my..." "Sandwich?" "Do you see a sandwich?" "But then again, I'm a spy." "So I could be hiding one anywhere." "I" " I-I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "It's just, I get nervous." "But I'll listen." "I promise." "Okay, look." "I know that I was a tomboy growing up, okay?" "But I'm an adult now." "And not just an adult, I'm a woman with needs and desires, and I just wish you would treat me like one." "You're right." "We've been such good buddies," "I guess it's just hard for me to see you in a different way." "I know, but it's embarrassing." "You know, especially in front of... never mind." "Jordan?" "Yes." "Jordan, okay." "I kind of like him." "And I wouldn't mind if he thought of me as something other than a football kicking fisherman in a weight belt." "You know what?" "I completely understand." "I apologize." "Thank you, Dad." "You're a beautiful exciting woman." "Thank you." "And I promise, from now on I'll be more responsive to your sexual needs." "I'd appreciate that." "That's just sick." "Mom, you know how a lot of women have two different size boobs?" "I didn't expect you to say boobs." "I've noticed a lot of my friends have one that's slightly larger than the other one." "You know, with my friends it's the exact opposite." "Well, I had this idea." "What if we made a bra that had two different cup sizes?" "Hmm, you should tell that to Mitchee." "But not today because she has a big meeting." "No, that's why I think I should be at the meeting." "Sweetie, trust me, you wouldn't be comfortable there." "Why wouldn't I?" "Never mind." "Forget I said anything." "Okay." "I still remember." "Why wouldn't I?" "It's nothing." "Well, it's obviously something, Mom." "Why wouldn't I be comfortable at the meeting?" " Just let it go, honey." " No." " Tell me." " It doesn't matter." "Say it." "Because nobody's gonna take you seriously." "And why is that?" "Farrah, I really don't wanna get into this." " Are you saying you think I'm dumb?" " No, I never said that." "You didn't have to." "I figured it out all by myself." "Farrah, calm down." "Don't look at me like that." "I am not dumb." "I am leaving." "Farrah, wait." "No, Mom, you know what I think?" "I think you're talking about yourself." "What does that mean?" "Figure it out." "Dummy." "What did you say?" "You heard me." "How dare you?" "No, how dare you?" "Don't you walk away from me." "Farrah." "Farrah." "Farrah!" "Farrah!" "Oh!" "When someone opens this door, I'm storming out too." "So, how's it going with you and Jordan?" "If the boardroom's knocking, should I not come a knocking?" "Thanks to my dad I think he's starting to see me a little differently." "Really?" "Yeah, like I've got boy parts." "If only that were true, I wouldn't let you outta my sight." "It just drives me crazy the way he treats me." "You mean like one of the guys?" "Yeah, but we talked about it." "He's gonna work on treating me more like a woman." "So he'll stop arm wrestling you at staff meetings?" "I've got my fingers crossed." "It means you get to retire undefeated." "Hey, Jordan." "Hi, Dad." "There's my little lady." "Here, let me get a chair for you." "I got it." "No problem." "So catch me up." "Okay, so the typical Corrigan's customer is more interested in price than fashion." "As long as it doesn't collect static electricity, they'll wear it." "That's why I think we should push the low-end line." "Right, the private stock signature select." "That's right." "What do you think, Mr. Arnold?" "I'm sorry." "I couldn't concentrate with this hottie in the room." "Dad?" "Oh, I mean it." "You are looking good." "Particularly in the shape department." "Okay, Dad." "It's no wonder you've had at least one boyfriend I know about, probably more." "You didn't go entirely dateless, that's for sure." "Right." "Jordan, you were saying?" "Uh, where was I?" "Right, so we're also gonna be fighting for shelf space, and that's why I think we should carry the premium lines too." "Damn!" "Anyway, it's all in the notes, so I'm gonna go." "I could kill you, but then I'd be working without a pimp." "Mom!" "Ooh, are you meditating?" "No, I'm trying to break these jeans in." "Listen." "I wanna apologize." " You don't have to." " Yes, I do." "I'm sorry for calling you dumb before." "It was really dumb of me." "It just really upset me when you called me dumb." "I didn't call you dumb." "You just didn't let me finish what I was gonna say." "What were you gonna say?" "I was gonna say that you have to know what you're good at and what you're not." "Meaning?" "Well, like me, I'm a model." "I was the face of this company for 25 years, and I was really, really good at it." "And that's every bit as important as the business stuff." "But didn't you ever want to be something more than just a lingerie model?" "You mean, like a hand model?" "I have something to show you." "Mom, I know you still look good naked." "I saw you at breakfast." "You know where I got this?" "Playing strip poker with Tammy Faye Baker?" "I got it for my first sales meeting as co-president of the company." " You went to sales meetings?" " Yeah, I went to one." "But when I walked into that boardroom, all those corporate guys looked at me like I was a joke." "Like I was some silly model pretending to be a business woman." "So I just turned right around and walked out." "I never even sat down." "That's so sad." "I'm sorry those fat men were mean to you." "I didn't say they were fat." "They sounded fat." "Farrah, I was just trying to protect you from ever being humiliated like that." "But Mom, I have all these great ideas that I wanna put out there." "And just because that bad thing happened to you doesn't mean that bad thing's gonna happen to me." "But what if it does?" "I'm willing to take that chance." "If it's really in your heart, if that's really what you want," " then I'm behind you all the way." " Thanks, Mom." "Besides, you've got something that I never had." "What's that?" "A smokin' hot mom who believes in you." "Grandma didn't believe in you?" "No, the point is that I'm smokin' hot." "What is it now?" "This isn't easy for me, but I need to talk to you about some really, really, really unsettling rumors about you and your father." "For God's sakes, he's an idiot." "So it's just physical?" "Are you finished?" "He's just incapable of treating me like a daughter." "Well, then stop sleeping with him." "I'm sorry." "I promise no more." "I think the great tragedy of his life is never having a son." "My dad felt the exact same way." "What was that like?" "Well, when I was a kid, we were inseparable." "Football, baseball, fishing, golfing, hunting, bowling." "Wow." "Yep, there wasn't much we wouldn't watch on TV." "That actually sounds kinda nice." "It was until I hit puberty and began growing hair under my arms." "Why'd that bother him?" "Because he caught me shaving it." "Wow, if I had a dime for every time I heard that story." "Yeah, right." "No, really, I've got to move out of San Francisco." "The point is, how Jordan sees you has nothing to do with what your dad does." "He's going to like you for what actually makes you attractive." "Which is?" "You're adorable." "You're smart." "You're confident." "And he's gonna see that." "Thanks." "Listen, that thing about you and your dad, would it bother you if I spread it around a little?" "Yes." "It's a good thing you weren't at lunch today." "Mitchee." "I am really sorry about before." "Oh, don't worry about it." "We're cool." "But I am still so confused." "I want to give you what you want in terms of your needs and desires." "Freak show." "I know that you're trying really hard." "And I am so grateful I have a dad who does that." "Really?" "Grateful?" "Look, you dropped a pencil so you could check out my ass." "I'm trying to put a positive spin on this." "Good afternoon, everyone." "Hello, Ernie." "First of all, I'm proud to introduce Mitchee Arnold, the new president of Arnold Undergarments." "And let me just say that her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard." "Sorry, I wrote that before our talk." "Why don't you take it from here?" "I know your time is valuable, so let's get right down to work." " Wait a minute." " Wait?" "Hello, honey." "Mitchee." "You can't start the meeting yet." "Someone is missing." "Farrah." "Thank you, Lee." "It's nice to be recognized." "What are you guys doing here?" "We're two professional women who are participating in a very important business meeting." " Look at you." "You're sitting." " I know." "So are you." "Please continue." "At a price point which still allows a very generous markup." "That's everything we wanted to show you." "Great work." "That was very impressive." "We're in." "We are thrilled to hear that, Ernie." "Could you give us a preview of next year's line, anything interesting or exciting?" "Well, we haven't actually..." "I mean, there's nothing that's really ready to present." "I have an idea." " You do?" " You do?" "A bra with two different cup sizes." "Go on." "Well, it's a scientific fact that many women have one boob that's bigger than the other." " Or smaller." " Exactly, Lee." "These women represent a huge, untapped, lopsided market." "I mean, there could be a woman in this very room that could benefit from this product." "I don't wanna point any fingers, But what are you?" "Like a 32B/C?" "Anyway, that's my idea." "I like that." "That's innovative." "Innovative?" "It's not just innovative." "That's brilliant." "I mean, Farrah's right." "This product speaks to how different and unique women can be." "Right?" "Some are athletic." "Some are more feminine." "Some are both." "But we're all women, and we all have one thing in common." "We hate the C word." "Okay, two things." "We all wanna be comfortable." "And that's what the, um?" "The lopsizer." "Yes, that's what the lopsizer does." "We look forward to seeing the prototype." "Perhaps we can talk about an exclusive." "We'd like that." "Maybe you could have the first one, lefty." "I guess that wraps things up." "Wait, where are you going?" "I have lots of great underwear ideas." "Okay, like, you know, mood rings, how they change color when you're happy..." "Thank you all for coming." "We'll see you next year." "Hey, you wanna go get a drink to celebrate?" "Oh sure." "I could go for a drink." "Great." "Oh, and I just wanted to tell ya, you were really great in there." "Oh, well, Farrah's the one that came up with the idea." "Yeah, but the way you jumped on it and sold it, I mean, uh..." "Well, I hope you don't think this is inappropriate, but it was really sexy." "Thanks, Jordan." "I really appreciate that." "What if I meet you down at the bar?" "Cool." "I'll save you a seat." "What are you getting all pretty for?" "Oh, it's nothing." "Nothing?" "Okay, I'm meeting someone I like for drinks." "Mitchee, I won't say anything if you don't want me to but ..." "Are you cheating on Dad?"