" Calm down, Wally." " Get away from me." "You don't tell me what to do." " Calm down." " I tell you what to do." "Calm down, Wally." "All right?" "Take it easy." " I said calm down, Wally." " Jenna?" "What's going on?" " Get out of here, sir." " Jenna?" "I said get the hell out!" " He's my neighbor." " An attorney." "What's she being charged with?" "Prostitution." "Now stay out of this, okay?" "You'll all pay!" "I'm state senator Wally Bird." "You'll all be meter maids by this time tomorrow!" "You Keystone Kops!" "I'll screw you all!" "I'll screw each and every one of you!" "I'll screw your mother!" " You don't want to do that." " Wally." "I'm state senator Wally Bird!" " He must be a wonderful lover." " Get off of me!" "I'm Wally Bird!" "I kid you not." "Two pageant queens- Miss Arkansas, Miss Montana- each one suing the other for defamation of character." " So the first order of business" " Stop Denny from finding out about it?" " You got it." " I smell perfume... petroleum jelly and duct tape." " There are beauty queens on the premises." " I'm handling this, Denny." "Shirley, I'll respect these women." "I'm fresh out of rehab." "Even so." " Denny Crane?" " Yeah." "My name is Joe Gordon." "I was your first client." "You and your father defended me on a murder charge in 1957." " Butcher Boy Killer." " Alleged." " I was innocent, remember?" " Yeah, right." "Um, this is, uh, Aaron Sears." " Denny Crane." " Yeah, I know who you are." "Mr. Sears is the son of the woman I was accused ofkilling." " Oh." " Um, it gets better." "He has a gun in my back." "And he has a vest full of plastic explosives... strapped to his chest." "Looks like we're hostages." "It's a joke, right?" "Alan Shore put you up to it, right?" "Oh, boy." "Take it out and put it on." "If my thumb comes off of this button... both our vests are gonna explode." "And so will this entire office." "You will alert the front desk to lock the doors and shut down the elevators." "If I so much as see a cop, or I hear sirens outside... my thumb comes off this button." "Um, son" "I'm not your son." "My mother had a son." "I'll just say this, and you can take it for what it's worth." "A" " A lot of clients- former clients- come up here with the hopes of blowing me up." "The reason I'm still alive is 'cause..." "I don't mind dying." "L" " I got the-you know, the- the mad cow." "My final years promise to be very demeaning." "I'll drool, mess myself." "That's no way for Denny Crane to go out." "I want to go out in a-in a blaze." "You're lying." "Don't tell me you're not scared." "I want to show you something my father gave to me... when I was seven years old." "This has great sentimental value to me." "I've often thought what a shame if I never got to fire it." "That gun is new." "Well, I'll be damned." "It's a custom-made, dual port. 45 automatic." "Cost two grand." "Laser aim." "I got a little red dot right between your eyes." "Hey." "You're willing to die." "I'm willing to die." "But are you willing to kill your colleagues?" "Now put down the gun, Mr. Crane." "Please, Mr. Crane, this man is serious." "What do you want?" "This man killed my mother." "And you and your father got him off." " I didn't do it." " Shut up!" "You pulled some stupid trick just to cheat justice." "Well, we're gonna have another trial... right here in this office." "Only this time, you and your father- you're not gonna be able to fix the verdict." "32164." "Commonwealth versus Jenna Aesop, Commonwealth versus Wallace Bird." "Alan Shore for Ms. Aesop, Your Honor." " We can waive reading." " Adam Jovanka for Wallace Bird." "I've discussed this matter with the district attorney." "I'd like to enter on behalf of Mr. Bird a plea of no contest" " No contest?" " This doesn't involve you." "It certainly does." "Especially if your deal involves him giving testimony against my client." "Your Honor, we can dispose of this unfortunate matter" "Ten seconds to confer with my learned brother, Your Honor." " Hurry up!" " The police can't make this." " Did you read the incident report?" " I did." "It listed... my client's reproductive appendage as being lodged against your client's esophagus." "She faces conviction if he cooperates." " That would be your problem." " She'll get time." " That would be her problem." " Ten seconds are up." "Seek to remove Mr. Jovanka as counsel for Mr. Bird." "Is it really Bird?" " Your Honor" " He's about to plead no contest to a case the police can't make." " Your Honor!" " The fact they were caught having sex means nothing." "There's no evidence of money changing hands." "And the police can't prove this was anything other than a consensual relationship... between two people who were and still are very much in love!" "Oh, they're in love?" "Truly, madly, deeply." " Step up here, counsel." " This is never good when they ask me to step up." "You think I'm an idiot?" "Judge, I cannot be held accountable... for what I do with straight lines lobbed right over the plate." "How would you like to be held in contempt, Mr. Wisenheimer?" "Again, Judge, that was a beach ball straight down the middle." "Two days." "Put him in the same cell with his client." "They can discuss her wedding plans." "You can't plan a wedding in two days." "Will he really keep us in here two days?" "He might." "Jenna, I thought you'd hung up your spurs." "I need to make money, Alan." "This time I'm afraid you could be in real trouble." " You got a conference room?" " Conference room?" "I got a Gulfstream." "Well, let's just go to the conference room." " Denny, everything all right?" " Not especially." "I'm a little wired today." "Juror Number One, Juror Number Two." " Let's go." " What's going on?" "What's going on is Mr. Crane and I are wearing explosive devices." " You two are hostages." " Denny, I made reservations at" " Why are you wearing that ridiculous vest?" " Juror Number Three... cancel your reservations." "She, like, snatched the crown right off my head!" " Oh, I snatched the crown?" " It's like a metaphor, okay?" "Oh, you reported my supposed misconduct?" "This from a debutante who rode cowgirl on Miss Hawaii." " Or was that your talent?" " All right." "This conference room... is being commandeered for a trial." "This man killed my mother." "This man and his father... fixed the trial and got him freed." "We are now gonna have another trial." "You, pull out the trial transcripts." "I will be the judge." "You." "You're gonna read the transcripts." "And you-you just go ahead and play your part." "You." "You be the jury foreman." "If I so much as see a cop, we will all explode." "And I was once a cop myself, so I can spot an undercover officer." " You." "Pretty boy." "Get out." "You're dismissed." " Why?" "Because you look like pro-prosecution to me." "I want to have a fair trial." "You." "Who are you?" "Shirley Schmidt." "You're dismissed also." "You be the voice of reason between me and the police." "You let 'em know how serious I am." "Because if my thumb comes off this button... this whole floor is gonna be reduced to rubble." "So go on." "Out!" "Now!" "S" " Sir, what do you really hope to accomplish here?" "You will hear the evidence... you will render a fair verdict... or you will die." "Please move to the elevators." "You cannot go out there." "He says ifhe even sees a police officer" "Also, he claims that he can spot any undercover agent, so" "I can do reconnaissance." "He knows I'm a lawyer." "I'm an ex-marine, combat-trained." "All right." "Check the air ducts." "See if there's any way to get access." "What are you gonna do?" "Send in a dwarf?" "There's one in there already." "Maybe we can pump in some sleeping gas, put him out." "Not a good idea." "He falls asleep, his thumb comes off the button." "I'll just check, Shirley." "I was three years old when he killed my mother." "My father never really got over what happened." "It broke him." "He started drinking." "He started hittin'us." "My brother ran away when I was 10." "And then a couple years later, my dad takes his car and he drives it into a truck." "I mean, drinking, suicide, both?" "I don't know." "Then my life started going pretty much the same way." "I started drinking and drugs, bad marriage." "Next thing you know, I'm hittin'my own kids... because this man's violence infected my whole life." "Because him and his father got him off!" "That concludes my opening statement." "You want to make one?" " Yes." " Go ahead." "Members of the jury..." "I stand before you... with my father, I guess... representing an innocent man." " He killed this woman." " Oh, now wait a minute." "There isn't a question in my mind he's guilty." "And every single piece of evidence... that's gonna be presented in that courtroom says he is." "He's no murderer." "I can't base it on any... evidence or anything." "Just something I feel." "Dad, the way he just sits there." "You don't know what you're talking about, boy." "You've got a lot to learn." "Talk, damn it!" "Members of the jury..." "Joseph Gordon did not kill Helen Sears." "He didn't do it." " What's this?" " What's this?" "You pissed off the judge." "That's what this is." "After I gave him a piece of my mind for not taking my plea, he throws me in." "And why wouldn't he take my deal?" "Because of you!" "You think you're gonna have a career in this town after I get done with you?" "Mr. Bird, you're a carpet salesman." "The fact that you were able to buy your way into public office... no doubt by evading income taxes" "I will knock you to the ground sure as I'm standing here." " Shut up, Wally." "Just shut up." " Honey..." "I gotta make this go away." " You know I do." " The problem is..." "Jenna goes away if you admit that prostitution took place here." " Was I talking to you?" " You were talking to my client, Mr. Bird." "She's represented by counsel." "His name is Aaron Sears." ""Dishonorable military discharge." ""Worked briefly in law enforcement." "In and out of rehab facilities. "" " What the hell are you doing?" " This duct here... might connect to the other ducts running into the conference room." "If I can shimmy up, I might be able to tell where they lead." "You're not gonna go into that vent." " Don't be ridiculous." " Shirley, I'm practically a Navy SEAL." "Shouldn't SEALs be in water?" "Uh, I'm stuck." "Well, what do you mean you're stuck?" "I mean, uh, I-I can't get out." "I knew you'd go Die Hard first chance." "Shirley, can you just help me?" ""L" " I was the maid, and I had the night off." "I arrived at the Sears residence at around 9:00 p. m. "" " "And what did you see?" - "As I opened the door, that man ran out." "The defendant." "He struck me, and I fell to the ground. "" " "Are you sure it was the defendant?" - "Positive." "And then when I went inside, I discovered Mrs. Sears lying on the floor. "" ""Can you describe her?"" ""She was dead." "Her face was purple." ""There were bruises on her throat." "It looked like she'd been strangled. "" "Your witness." "Do your father's cross, and read it exactly." ""A man runs at you, strikes you, runs away." " How long did this take?" - "Seconds. "" ""Seconds?" "Can you really be sure... that this is the man you saw?"" ""Yes." "I'll never forget his face." "He's the man. "" ""Nothing further. "" "But I'm gonna tell you this." "He killed that woman as sure as I'm standing in front of you... and I don't want to see him walk out of that courtroom a free man." "It may seem a little shocking, but that's the truth." " You're hanging that boy." " That's not so." "He's hanged himself." "But you're his lawyer." "You're supposed to do everything you can." "Don't you tell me what I'm supposed to do." "I'm here to give him an ethical defense." "And that's what I'm giving him." " You know the meaning of that word." " I know what it means." " But your personal ethics are killing him, and you know that." " That's enough!" "Mr. Crane." "Mr. Crane." "Can you hear me?" "Pick up the phone and see whoever it is... and ask them not to interrupt." "Yeah." "Hostage rescue team." "They want to talk to you." "No, I don't have any demands." "Yes, I do have an exit strategy." "I believe you people call it S.B.C." "What-What does that mean?" "S.B.C. - "suicide by cop. "" "He's not planning on leaving this place alive." "There's no evidence of a transaction." "If both you and Wally claimed it was just... consensual sex with no money changing hands... the police really can't prove otherwise unless one of you cooperates." " I get that, Alan." " Yes." "But, Jenna, he's a bigger fish." "If you're willing to flip Wally, I'm sure the D.A. Would much rather deal with you." "I heard that." "I can't." "Wally's been too good to me." "He's trying to make a deal that puts you in jail." "Would you prefer that?" "I'd prefer you think of something else." " The story's broken." " Aw, crap." "You bastard." "It's only on the wire services." "Television will hold it till tonight if I promise to give them a quote." "Fortunately, there's a hostage situation somewhere." "So that's getting all the play." "Wally, I'd better bring Harriet down here so you can tell her." "Better she hear it from you." "Oh, God." "Oh, God." " Harriet would be" " His wife." "Hmm." " How far that way till we're within his eyeline?" " This is about it." "This is LieutenantJames." " He's head of the hostage rescue team." " Hello." "Do you know how to work the interoffice communication system?" " I think so." " You still okay, sir?" "Fine." ""The prosecution calls Dr. Malcolm Sears. "" "I'll read his part." "He was my father." " The man you tricked when he was on the witness stand!" " Objection." " Is this supposed to be a fair trial or not?" " Ask the questions." "Dad?" "Karen." " Don't do this, Dad." " No, you don't understand." "This is the right thing to do." "I am doing something right!" "For God's sake, Dad, please don't hurt these people." " They have families." " Honey, you'll understand someday." " They have people who love them." " Can you turn this thing off?" "Dad, listen to me!" "Okay." "You just shot your own daughter." " Shut up." " I'm just saying you're not making..." " a very good impression on the jury." " Debbie, please shut up." "May I please say something?" "Fully realizing that jurors are supposed to be quiet." "My mother was the victim of a violent sexual attack." "I walked in on it." "I was three years old." "I suffered a severe trauma." "In fact, the doctors are convinced it's why I stopped growing." "After 29 years of therapy, three months ago..." "I finally started to grow again." "What you're doing here is gonna stunt my growth all over again." "I'm gonna be... a little dwarf forever." "Do you take me for a complete idiot?" "I take you for a total nut job." "Just let us out before a sniper puts you nighty-night." "Somebody shoots me, lady... my thumb comes off of this button!" "We're gonna resume the trial." "We're getting to your big strategy now, Mr. Crane." "Remember that?" "This is a cheap 10-cent-store trick, and I won't touch it." " I've never done a thing like that in a courtroom in my life." " It's our job... to try and save his life, Dad, and this might do it." "I'm not going to turn this trial into a circus to get him off." "Do you hear me?" "Mr. Crane." "Mr. Crane." "I said start at the top of page 72." ""Do you see the man, Dr. Sears... who ran out of your apartment building?"" " "Yes." "The defendant. " - "Are you absolutely positive..." ""the man you saw that night..." ""the man you saw that night... is sitting right here?"" ""I'm 100% positive. "" "Do you want to tell the jury what just happened?" "I'll tell." "He put a man who looked likeJoe Gordon... at the defense table." "Then he got my father to identify the wrong man." "My mother's killer went free because of that trick." "Prosecution rests." "Read your next line." ""Defense rests. "" "You can go outside the room and deliberate." "But stay right there within my sight." "Hold on a second." "I want to testify." "Why?" "You didn't testify at the trial." "Exactly." "Which is why people thought me guilty." " You got to put in new evidence." "So should I." " I put in the real truth." "Well, let me offer the real truth." "Not even he knows it." "All right." "Defense calls Joe Gordon." " Oh, my God, Wally." "What's happened?" " I'm okay, Harriet." " Sit." " What have you done?" "Please." "Sit, sweetheart." " I'm" " I'm getting short of breath." " Privacy, please." "Look away." "This is private." "Harriet, uh" "I want to talk to you about our... sexual life." "I didn't know we had one." "Which is what" "Harriet, how do I say this?" "I'm very unproud of my physical self... and it's... very difficult for me to feel good about my body." "This morning, I was arrested for having sexual relations with a prostitute." "I'm very ashamed, Harriet." "L" "It has nothing to do with my love for you." "It's" "It's more about my own physical loathing." "That" "It was never my intent to humiliate you." "And I'm sorry." "Oh, please." "Say something, Harriet." "Please... let me out." "Guard." "Joe... you refused to testify in the original trial back in 1957." " That's right." " You even refused... to say where you were at the time of Mrs., uh, Sears's murder." "Yes." "My father told you to testify." "He said it was your only chance to convince thejurors of your innocence." "That's right." "What you don't know- or perhaps you do- this refusal on your part made my father think you were guilty." " I suspected as much." " So my question is... why not testify?" "At the time Mrs. Sears was killed, I was in the building." "But I was never in the Sears's apartment." "I was at the apartment of a friend." "My lover." "A married man." "I couldn't say that back then." "Not in 1957." "Not even with the risk of being convicted of murder... a crime I didn't commit." "My mother was in the courtroom." "Being gay was" "They didn't even have that word." "You were a queer." "It would have ruined Tim's life and mine... destroyed my mother." "So when you told me that... maybe you could get me acquitted some other way" "Oh, come on!" "This is just another trick!" "Not a trick, Mr. Sears." "It was me your father saw leave the apartment building." "When I heard the commotion, I just got the hell out." "But I was not in your apartment." "I did not kill your mother." "Well, well, well." "And what lessons have we learned today?" "Standing here, I've learned that you smell like cheese." "Back to jail they go." "That was an olive branch." "Got a text message from Paul Lewiston." "They're starting closing argument." "It wasn't just my father who saw him." "Mrs. Bailey, the maid- she saw him too." "She testifiied... that she would never forget his face." "It's right here in the transcript." "Oh, he did it." "There's no evidence of anybody else being there." "He's the man." "He's the man who killed my mother." "Man looked likeJoe." "We know that because that's how I was able to pull the stunt." "Put in a look-alike." "But it wasn'tJoe." "The maid saw the man in a flash, got hit and knocked down." "And I don't have to tell this jury, a bunch of lawyers... that eyewitness testimony is the most unreliable of all evidence." "And there's no other evidence." "There's no fingerprints ofJoe." "Nothing." "Your father saw my client." "The maid saw someone else." "My client shouldn't go free because of a trick." "My client should go free... because of reasonable doubt." "Okay." "Go." "Deliberate." "And I want a real verdict." "Don't try to patronize me." " I want a real verdict. 'Cause if I don't get one" " Small point of order." "How will you be able to tell if wejust shine you on?" "You don't strike me as an astutejudge of character." "Just go!" "Hey." "Don't underestimate my ability to know if you're being genuine or not." "What happens if they come back guilty?" "Then you die." "And not guilty?" "That's for me to know." "There is clearly reasonable doubt." " One lone witness?" " Two." "The father's I.D. Only goes to the building." " The defendant admits he was in the building." " Oh, please." "He's guilty." "I'm getting sick ofkillers playing the gay card." "How can you conclude he's guilty?" "One eyewitness, which happened in seconds" "I can conclude he's guilty because if we come back not guilty... he'll blow us all up." "I think we better give this man a real verdict." " And it should be guilty." " I say not guilty." "There's not enough evidence." " I agree." " There is no evidence whatsoever of anyone else being there." "That's because the police only focused on Joe." " Because the maid saw him." " Thought she saw him." "Look, the man didn't testify at the real trial." "That tells me he did it." "It's his choice not to testify... and you are barred from construing that against him." "Right." "Like that never happens." "He said why he didn't testify." "He's a homosexual gay man." "Who's gonna admit that in the '50s?" "In Arkansas, they still don't." "Okay." "What we've heard does not satisfy the State's burden." " Are we gonna do this for real or not?" " Yeah." "Great." "Let's give the man a real verdict and all go kaboom." "Are you people nuts?" "You've had quite the big career, haven't ya?" "Denny Crane." "It all started with this case, I bet." "I bet your father was real proud of you." "Why did you become a lawyer?" " Do you know?" " I don't know if I know." "Well, I know." "You became a lawyer because ever since you were that high..." "I made you want to become a lawyer." "It's been a good life for me, and I thought it would be a good life for you." "Now I don't know." "We don't think alike, you and I." "I don't really know you." "Thanks for coming back, Harriet." "The lawyers have all worked it out." "If we all stay quiet... the police can't prove nothin'." "It's all gonna be fine." "I'd probably be home right now if it wasn't for, uh, Mr. Big Mouth over there." "You know, uh, I thought maybe we could take a trip." "Uh, maybe go to Italy or- or Europe." "I never deluded myself that you were celibate." "I suppose..." "I should be relieved it's a prostitute and not an affair." "I would never have an affair." "Never." "Harriet... aren't you... sexually in need?" "There are services that you could go to." "Uh" "Maybe we should consider, uh- What do they call it?" "Uh, an open marriage." "There's no such thing as an open marriage." "Divorce is open." "Marriage is pretending... denial." "That's a very cynical thing to say." "Once two people admit that it's not what they want... to wake up with the same person in perpetuity... the choice becomes either divorce or compromise." "It's much easier to just pretend, isn't it, Wally?" "Get a big house... buy nice things, go on expensive trips." "All the trappings of a happy life." "The only problem is you've been caught." "Now others know." "Our facade has been broken." "It wasn't enough that you did a hooker." "You had to get caught." "And now... they all know." "Guard." "Guard." "Verdict's in." "Okay." "This is where you leave." "All civilians out." "We'll grant you an exception, Brad... 'cause you're combat-trained." "Okay." "You reach a verdict?" "We have." "Unanimous?" "Yes." "What is it?" "Not guilty." "There wasn't enough, Mr. Sears." "There clearly is reasonable doubt." "I promise you I'm innocent." "I promise you." "Please." "Please." "Please." "No." "Do not do this, Mr. Sears." "You kill yourself, you kill us all." "Stay where you are!" "Don't come near me!" "Sir." "It's over now, sir." "When my thumb comes off this button, it'll definitely be over." " You don't want that." " Shut up." "Shut up!" " Mr. Sears." " Get away!" "I believed in Joseph Gordon's innocence back then as I do today." "Because I was so convinced that he didn't do it..." "I was willing to... resort to a stunt to get him off." "But I never once considered your father." "I never considered the... hurt, the damage... to him... to his children." "L" "I" " I should have reached out to your father." "His anger for me-and yours-is... totally justified." "I'm sorry." "Please." "So that no other... innocent lives are destroyed... give that to me." "Please." "G" " Give it to me." "You're gonna have to hold the button down." " Down on your knees, sir!" " I'm not good with remotes." "Pass it to me." "Pass it slowly." "Detonator secure." "Judge says you can go." "Judge says you can go." "Wally." "Or perhaps I should say..." "Senator Wally." "I'm certainly no expert on marriage." "And on relationships in general, personally, I'm- well, disabled." "But from what I heard going on in this cell... you and Harriet... seem to love each other very much." "I suspect... the anger she feels can only come from love." "And, well... as the resident big mouth..." "I think it's my duty to say... don't let her give up on you." "I know you won't give up on her." "Don't let her give up on you." "Here I am thinking I was having a day." "Are you all right, Denny?" "Fine." "And I won." "Still undefeated." "That must have been some trial in 1957." "You and your father." "We made quite a team." "Two birds of a feather." "What did he say when the verdict came back, your father?" "Uh, he hugged me." "The usual." "Proud papa." "You know how it goes." "I don't, actually." "My father was never proud of me." "A terrible thing to be disapproved of by your own dad." "I wouldn't know." "Well, you led a charmed life." "Denny Crane." "I bought a carpet for one of my houses from fat Wally Bird." "He still that same empty sack blowhard?" "Still a blowhard." "But the sack- there's something in that sack." "Tell me aboutJenna." "Cute" " Forget it." " Just trying to make conver" "Forget it." "L" " I don't want to go home alone tonight." "I'll come over." "He disowned me." "Sorry?" "My father." "He disowned me." "Oh, well." "Fathers." "Screw 'em." "Damn right." "I'm proud of you, Denny." "For what?" "I just am." "I always am." "When you come over tonight, bring the marshmallows, will ya?" "Consider it done." "You stinker!"