"Mark!" "Are you up?" "Yep." "Thanks, mate." "Okay, we're off now." "You are up, aren't you?" "Yes!" "Are you gonna be late?" "No, I'm, uh..." "I'm at the..." "well, I'm at the tube station." "I told you, Mark, I've got a meeting this morning." "Uh, well, yeah, yeah, no problem." "No... no problem." "Uh, what?" "What?" "No, I haven't got any change." "Well, hang on." "Let me have a look." "Okay, so I'm getting on the train now, and, uh, I'll be with you in..." "in half an hour." "Stevie?" "Mind the gap." "Mind the gap." "What are you doing?" "!" "What is the matter with you?" "Sorry." "Why do you have to take so long..." "longer and longer?" "It's in here." "All this?" "Well, yeah." "I thought it was just a few things." "We did say "trial separation," Mark." "Uh, yeah, but what... well, what do you mean by "trial separation"?" "We try separating." "What do you think it means?" "Well, that maybe being apart might help us to be together again." "Um, I mean..." "I mean, why don't we just divorce then?" "Why don't we never see each other again?" "You're making this all so..." "so final." "Oh, look, I cannot deal with this right now." "If you wanted to talk about it, you should have got here at 8:00 like you were supposed to." "I'm sorry if you're shocked, Mark." "What is that noise you keep making?" "Well, I've just got a bit of a sore throat." "You've got to be realistic, Mark." "I am being realistic, and what I'm seeing is my marriage boxed up and ready to go." "I'll call you." "Mark?" "All right, mate." "What are you doing?" "Nothing." "I just trod in some heron shit." "Or maybe some otter shit or something." "Definitely shit." "Right." "Well, you've got me for an hour." "Mobile's turned off." "How did it go?" "I don't want to talk about it." "What do you mean you don't want to talk about it?" "You said you needed to talk about it." "Yeah, I don't want to talk about it." "She wouldn't even talk about it." "I thought that was the whole point of me going round there." "What is going on?" "!" "What have I done wrong?" "Well, you turned up an hour and a half late for starters." "I don't mean the little stuff." "I mean the bigger picture." "Remember when we went to Turkey?" "I dropped a bottle of aftershave in the bathroom." "In the bathroom." "Aftershave in the bathroom." "I've never mentioned this before, and yeah, I did sort of go overboard..." "Making sure that all the pieces of glass were picked up, but it's dangerous, isn't it?" "It only takes one tiny, tiny shard of glass to rip your foot apart." "Sometimes you can't even see them they're so fine." "If you swallowed one, it'd kill you." "Aftershave?" "Yeah, and my point is, Nathan..." "Uh..." "She flipped." "Way over the top." "She said I'd ruined the holiday." "Now where did that come from?" "What had I done?" "And yet the next day..." "When we go to that palace to look at the mosaics, it was..." "I just didn't see the cracks." "They must have been there obviously." "She must have been unhappy, but why?" "I mean, I know..." "I know I'm a nightmare at the moment." "I know that me..." "me being off work was driving her mad, but..." "If you love someone, you're supposed to be there for them, aren't you?" "Aren't you?" "If you love them when they're down." "You're still there for me, aren't you?" "Well, actually, I've got to go now, but, yes, I am." "Yeah, still there." "Let's talk about it tonight." "Try not to dwell on it, okay?" "What have I done wrong?" "You know, everything was fine, but it just keeps going round and round in my head." "Be strong." "You don't go anywhere near her." "You keep at least a two-mile radius from her, and you wait for her to contact you." "Yeah, yeah, you're right." "I know I am." "You've got to be strong, Mark." "Now, come on." "Stop that." "What's going on in your mind now?" "Talk about it." "Turkey." "Not Turkey again." "Come on, we've been there." "I'd just like to ask her what I did that was so wrong." "Mark, she's not doing this because of one row in Turkey." "If she didn't mind getting her feet cut to shreds, then fine." "Sorry for caring." "But I'm telling you there were shards of razor-sharp glass." "Uh, Nathan!" "Hi." "Hi, mate." "How's it going?" "Oh, really well." "Kathy's been brilliant." "Oh." "No, no, you have." "You've listened." "That's a great quality." "I wish Stevie would listen more." "Mark's got some news." "Haven't you?" "Well..." "Yes." "Um I'm going to see Charles tomorrow." "Tell him I'm ready to go back to work." "Well, that's great." "That's fantastic." "If I'm gonna get her back," "I've got to find some way of breaking out of this cycle I'm in... stress, depression, can't work, Stevie, more depression." "I've got to get a grip on things again." "This is great, Mark." "It's exactly what you need." "And if you get back to work, that will be a positive sign to Stevie that you are trying to turn things around." "Yes, yes!" "Shall I ring her and tell her?" "No." "No." "Hello, Mr. Furness." "Hi, Allison." "I'm a little bit late." "I'll go straight in, shall I?" "Uh, perhaps I should just call them first." "Okay, I'll, uh..." "I'll take a seat." "Good morning, Emmiett." "Good morning, Emmiett." "This chair?" "That's fine." "Sorry." "Oh, okay." "Right." "I just think everything was getting on top of me." "I had some problems in my marriage, as you know." "I was under a lot of stress here." "Three projects on the go simultaneously." "It was the pressure I was under that triggered off the, um... the erratic behavior." "But the good news is I've had time to regroup." "I'm feeling totally refreshed, fighting fit, and, uh... and I'm ready to go back to... well, we're delighted, Mark, to hear you're feeling better." "Truly." "But we have to be honest here." "Over the past six months, we've moved on as a practice." "We've appointed a new junior partner, and he's performing extremely well." "Who?" "I really don't think that's..." "Gareth." "Gareth." "Oh, I see, I see." "So get me to train him up so he can take my job." "You're an extremely talented architect, Mark." "There's no doubt about that." "But I'm not sure you're ready yet." "And we can't risk a recurrence of what happened before." "You know what we're talking about, missing deadlines and so on." "The loss of the Seven Arches contract." "Cunt!" "That's not fair." "You know how much I've helped to build this practice up... fuck!" "Um..." "Sorry." "Um..." "Okay, I've made some mistakes, but I think I deserve another chance." "You know, I need to get back to work." "I need to... cunt!" "You... cunt!" "We've prepared a severance package for you." "I think you'll find the terms are very generous." "Fuck you!" "Hi, mate." "Gareth." "How did it go?" "You're in my office, Gareth, doing my job." "I think you know how it went." "Yeah." "I'm sorry." "Um, look, I just wanted..." "Don't, all right?" "It's not your fault." "I'll see you around." "Oh, Mark." "The rest of your stuff." "My stuff." "Thanks." "Mmm." "Hey, look, another one's escaped." "Um, could you just get me another coffee?" "I'm gonna go make a quick phone call." "Sure." "Stevie!" "What do you think you're doing?" "What, me?" "I was just walking." "I'm not stalking you." "I just wanted to see you." "You were barking at that dog!" "You're really starting to scare me, Mark." "Oh, yeah?" "Well, I'm sorry about that." "Who's he?" "He is Josh, a work colleague." "A lovely guy who's just started." "I'm just helping to train him up." "Why were you touching him?" "What?" "You were holding his hands and laughing at his jokes." "I was not laughing at his jokes." "Yes, you were, and it wasn't just polite laughter." "It was full-on, throwing..." "It's fine." "Throwing your head back and guffawing." "Well, maybe he said something funny." "Well, like what?" "You don't seem to keen to laugh at things when I'm around." "Because you're just not funny anymore!" "You're seeing him." "All right, I'm going back in there, and you're going home, okay?" "Goodbye." "I'm not." "And even if I were, it has got nothing to do with you." "We are both free to see other people." "That is what being separated means." "Get used to it." "Bitch, bitch!" "Get help." "Everything all right?" "Yeah." "So, who was he?" "He was, uh..." "My husband." "I know what you're gonna say." "You're gonna say, "it's the depression."" "But I feel so bewildered by things." "There has to be something more to it than that." "Why?" "Because depression can't explain everything away." "Well, out of interest, what else do you think it might be?" "Okay, well, I've got it down to three possibles... meningitis, early senile dementia, or maybe a brain tumor?" "What do you think?" "You know what I think." "You're clinically depressed." "But I told my boss to..." "to "f" off the other day." "I just couldn't..." "I couldn't stop myself." "Okay." "Well, no, it's not." "He sacked me." "Now I'm having difficulty concentrating." "I, um..." "I get headaches sometimes, um, confusion." "I get very down about things, black moods." "I can't stop thinking about..." "What?" "Sex." "Sex." "Fuck!" "Sorry." "Um, sex with my wife." "Well, that's good." "No, no, it's not good." "We're having a trial separation." "Ah." "I keep doing these peculiar..." "Things." "I can't really describe it." "We discussed this in great detail when I last saw you." "I'm pushing her away." "And I love her so much." "I'm getting desperate." "Calm down now." "We've had you on 20 milligrams a day." "Let's try you on a stronger dosage." "See if we can break the vicious circle, hmm?" "Thanks." "How did it go?" "Sorry." "Oh, let me guess." "Keroxotine, 20 milligrams a day." "Maybe 40." "Did he up your dosage?" ""Come back and see me in a month"?" "Excuse me?" "Where to, governor?" "Uh, Kent..." "Kentish Town." "Do I know you?" "Sorry, but I noticed you in the waiting room." "I'm very good at spotting it." "Takes one to know one." "Right." "Uh, good at spotting what?" "Do you want this cab or not?" "Yeah, yeah, I do." "I'm with this self-help group." "We meet every Tuesday, and there's six of us in the group, so we could do with an extra person." "Six?" "Yeah." "And if you come along, that will be seven, which would be good for me because I have a problem with odd numbers, and it's good therapy for me to have to fight it, not that I really want to, but... so, anyway, my phone number's on the back of the card" "if you fancy coming along." "Thanks." "Yeah." "All right, mate?" "Nightingale room?" "Um, yeah." "First time?" "Yeah." "Yeah, it's ridiculous, isn't it?" "I've been on them for bloody ages to get a room on the ground floor." "Anyway, it's up here on the left." "Okay, I'll tell you exactly why I failed." "I was just sitting in the exam hall, ready to begin, paper in front of me, confident, yep." "All my revision in place..." "'Cause..." "'Cause Anthony "shitty" Shippham was off with the flu," "I ended up in a row of nine students instead of ten." "Yeah, and that was it." "Gone." "I couldn't cope with the odd number." "I could barely even write my name at the top of the paper." "Hi." "What was your name again?" "Um, Mark." "Well, you've sort of missed the beginning this week, Mark." "Do you want to leave it and come back next week?" "It's his first time." "Oh, uh, yeah." "No, Mark's here now." "Let him take a seat and join in." "If you must." "Um, yeah, okay, there's seven of us." "Seven." "Come on, your exam." "What was your point?" "Yeah, um..." "Um, um..." "Gemma thinks we should celebrate our illness." "Personally, I can't see anything to celebrate about me failing my exam because Anthony "shitty" Shippham had the flu." "Obsessive-compulsive disorder." "It makes you who you are." "Would you even have been sitting in that exam without it?" "That is dangerous talk, and you know it." "We sit here, week in, week out, because we have an illness, Gemma." "You try telling cancer patients their tumors are part of them." "So, why are you here then?" "Hmm, Gemma?" "To celebrate making your boyfriend strip off all his clothes before you'll let him in the house, eh?" "To celebrate the fact that you spend all day sniffing your fingers?" "You're ashamed of what you do, just like the rest of us, Gemma." "Fuck off, Charlie." "Ooooh." "And one more thing, Miss Charlotte." "Is the trip to the farm still happening?" "Yes, Hasim." "We meet on Saturday morning, 10:00." "10:00." "Right, right." "In that case, will we be expected to wear Wellington boots?" "You see, the rubber does not allow the feet to breathe." "They become very smelly and sweaty." "Wellington's are entirely optional, Hasim." "Oh, thank you." "Thank you very much." "So, what do you think?" "Well..." "I'm amazed." "I thought, uh..." "You thought it was only you." "Yeah, that's what I used to think." "Yeah, you'd be surprised how many of us there are out there." "It's rude to stare." "So I started to obsess about not wanting him to see me at the point of climax." "Why not?" "You know, worried about how ugly I'd look." "That face we all pull." "And at my age." "Hasim, turn it back on, please." "So many apologies." "Apologies." "So, there we were." "Me trying to look away from him, him on top of me, trying to pull my face back towards him." "Pulling and straining and..." "I farted and fell off the bed." "Hasim!" "Freak you out in there, did it?" "Uh, yeah." "Yeah, a bit." "It can be a bit full on." "The whole point is to be honest with each other." "No cover ups, no disguise, just the freedom of sitting there with a bunch of nutters just as loony as you are." "Yeah." "Nice tits." "Thank you." "Yeah, she just winds me up sometimes, Gemma, with all this "live with it, it's part of you" shit." "By the way, that can be connected." "What can?" ""Nice tits." Blurting stuff out." "That's Tourette's Syndrome or maybe some kind of vocal tic disorder." "They can both be linked to OCD." "I've got something else, as well?" "Because you're special Mark." "Actually I don't know too much about it, except it's all to do with fucked up neurotransmitters." "Neurotransmitters?" "Mm-hmm, yeah, yeah." "Whatever they are, yeah." "Does she really make her boyfriend strip off?" "Every stitch." "I've seen it." "He was standing on the porch, and she was holding out a bin liner for him." "No way!" "I swear." "Bullocks!" "S-sorry." "Don't be." "It's not your fault." "None of this is." "But we can still laugh about it, can't we?" "So, what other stuff do you get up to?" "Well, uh..." "What's the matter?" "Do you not like talking about it?" "It just seems so weird, that's all." "I've spent so long trying to keep it a secret, even... even from myself, and here I am confessing it all to someone I've just met." "Tit!" "Arse fuck!" "I mean, you seem so normal." "Two years of therapy, five years of medication, and I still can't take a sip without looking like a tit." "Tit!" "Tit fuck!" "Um, what sort of therapy?" "Cognitive behavioral therapy." "What's that?" "Retraining the brain to think differently." "Okay." "Right, this is a brain." "Now let's say this half gets a thought." ""Will something terrible happen to my family if I don't walk into a room backwards?"" "No, no, no, I'm serious." "I'm serious." ""Have I switched off the gas?" "Are my hands dirty?"" "Now, normal people have these thoughts, too, but the part of the brain that deals with this stuff kicks in, and they immediately rationalize and get rid of them." "But with us, that part doesn't work properly." "The neurotransmitters." "Exactly!" "They're chewing gum thoughts." "They just go round and round, but they never get digested." "So what does the therapy do?" "Trains you to recognize unwanted thoughts for what they are, and instead of giving in to them... washing your hands 57 times, going up and down stairs... you turn them into what's called "white noise."" "You learn to try and ignore it, no matter how loud it gets." "Believe me, it can get bloody noisy in there." "It can be agony." "But if you're determined enough, the noise will go away." "It has to, because it really is the most ridiculous illness." "I mean, at least with autism or something they have no idea." "We're completely aware of how stupid and pathetic we're being, but we can't stop ourselves." "Actually, um..." "My wife once caught me soaking my balls in white spirit." "Really?" "You've got to tell me all about it." ""Air-Tex"..." "very clever material." "Allows the feet to breathe." "No sweating, no smelling." "That's a bloody time bomb, that is." "Very, very dangerous things, thermos flasks." "Them and McDonald's hot apple pies." "Yeah, okay, guys." "Remember we agreed today was gonna be a wet-wipe-free zone." "So could you please all surrender your wet wipes, which will be returned at the end of the day?" "Come on, hurry up!" "Thank you." "Unh-unh." "Come on, Geraldine." "Thank you." "Come on." "Come on." "Good news!" "Gwyn the farmer says we can collect eggs and feed the calves later." "Isn't that great?" "Right, come on." "Let's start as we mean to go on." "Everyone down on their knees." "Come on, knees." "It's gonna ruin the fabric of my trousers... kneel!" "Let's start as we mean to go on." "Now, this is what I want you to do." "Take a good handful of dirt, and work it in thoroughly." "What if there's you know what in it?" "Oh, for God's sake, just do it." "Don't think about it, all of you." "Mark!" "I can't!" "I can't!" "Get on with it, Gemma." "The time doesn't start until we have all done it." "For Christ's sake, get on with it, gem." "Just do it." "Please, Gemma, please." "Would you hurry up?" "All right!" "Ugh!" "Okay." "Five minutes." "Just kneeling there with muck all over their hands." "No, Gwyn reckons they're some sort of cult." "Definitely." "Steady, Kenneth." "Come on, 30 seconds." "Bloody torture, this is." "Not long." "Come on, come on." "Ten seconds." "Come on, fight it, Kenneth." "Fight it, mate." "You can do it." "Five..." "Four..." "Three..." "Two, one!" "We did it, we did it!" "How do you feel?" "Fantastic!" "Christ's sake, Hasim." "Leave the bloody things alone." "So sorry." "Oh, look!" "Oh, it's so lovely." "Here, it's still warm." "Quick, feel it." "Oh, bless you, Mrs. chicken." "You're so clever." "Don't worry." "They won't hurt you." "It's the other end you'll need to worry about." "Why?" "Why is that?" "They're scouring." "They've got the shits." "Oh." "Mr. Rhodri!" "Feel the miracle." "I'm going nowhere near that bloody egg." "Why not?" "One word... salmonella." "Try it, Kenneth." "It's disgusting and wonderful at the same time." "Thanks for today." "It's been good." "A long time since I felt like this." "Nice arse." "No, I haven't got Tourette's." "I'm saying, "nice arse."" "So, you married then?" "Um, well, separated, really..." "For now." "What does that mean?" "Well, if I can get myself well again, maybe there's hope for us." "What about you?" "Single..." "Since 1998, December 12." "The night he came home and found me crying hysterically 'cause I thought I caught cancer from the TV remote control." "What, from the rays it sends out?" "Yeah." "And, no, Mark, they're harmless." "Right." "Yeah, that was the last straw for him." "Bastard." "All I wanted was a cuddle." "Not much to ask, is it, from someone who says they love you?" "No." "No, it's not." "And ever since, I've been an odd number, a one, never to be a two." "I think that's God's little joke on me, but I'm going to win." "I refuse to go to my grave holding a packet of wet wipes." "Oh!" "Aah!" "Aaaaah!" "Ohh!" "Ohh!" "Oh, God." "So, are you coming out for a drink tonight?" "Uh, no, mate." "I've got to get this done." "What is all that?" "Homework." "Homework?" "Yeah, from the group." "Is that Charlotte gonna tell you off if you don't get it in on time?" "You like her, don't you?" "Charlotte." "Yeah, she's great." "What sort of homework is it?" "Uh, I've got to describe all my OCDs... what they're like, when they happen, how often, how severe." "Can you tell us about them?" "Oh, yes, go on." "Are you allowed?" "I don't see why not." "Go on then, pick one... clothes, eyes, talking, cleaning teeth, getting out of bed, blowing my nose, nails, sitting, bathing, eating." "Sitting." "Sitting." "Okeydokey." ""Sitting."" "Why sitting?" "Well, because you always do that thing." "What thing?" "Up and down, checking the seat." "Yeah, you do." "Oh." "Okay." "Uh, sitting." ""As I sit on this chair," ""I'm damaging my coccyx and spine..." ""With the impact." ""This, in turn..." ""Causes a ripple effect up through my body," ""neck jerking, sending head forward," ""causing teeth to gnash together and chip." ""At the same time," ""I am also damaging the structure of the chair." ""The frame is splintering, buckling under my weight." ""The carpet below is damaged," ""and underneath that, the foundations," ""the concrete, is cracking."" "So that's sitting." ""I don't wash/soap enough the genital area or my anus." ""Afraid of scratching my anus with sharp nails." ""I don't rinse my armpits enough," ""also I don't rinse my genitals or anus enough." ""Standing up," ""I'm very close to catching my head on the shower rail." ""I don't rinse/swill the soapy water enough for my, uh, feet." ""Fear of soap drying and causing a rash." ""Also soaking and staining the rug." ""Also fear of damaging genitals" ""by drying them too hard with..." "a towel."" "And finally blowing my nose." ""I blow too hard, causing my eardrums to burst," ""and worse, a blood clot/tumor to happen in the brain."" "That's it." "How do you feel?" "Uh..." "Purged." "Not particularly thrilled about discussing soaping my anus/genitals with a roomful of people I hardly know." "But, uh, no." "It's good to get them out in the open." "I mean my OCDs." "Bloody good that was." "Yeah, some new ones there for me, especially that one about sitting on the toilet." "It's funny that because you know you said about lining your feet up with the wall," "I always have to have mine at an angle, pointing in." "Yeah, thank you for that, Rhod." "Yeah." "You did really well." "You were very brave." "Bye." "Thanks." "Thanks." "Yes!" "Yes!" "Oh, yes!" "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes." "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes." "Yes, yes, oh, yes, oh, yes." "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes." "Ooh, hi, Kathy." "Sorry, sorry." "Sorry." "Had a few drinks." "Sleep well." "Goodnight." "Yes." "But it doesn't make any sense." "I'm getting myself well." "I need to speak to her." "Not a good idea." "She's expressly requested all communication to be through solicitors from now on." "But I'm doing this for her." "She wants a divorce." "Sorry." "Yes, well, it all seems pretty straightforward." ""My client understands" ""that Mr. Furness will need to set himself up somewhere new." "She will take on the mortgage on the marital home until"..." ""such time as the property is sold." "50-50 split of the proceeds." All seems very reasonable." "Oh, I'm sure it is very reasonable, very bloody reasonable." "I'm sorry." "I know this can't be easy, but, honestly, take it from me." "If you can keep..." "Beardy!" "Sorry." "Beardy!" "Sorry." "Twat!" "I'm sorry, Richard." "I'm sorry." "I'm just a little worked up." "I'm..." "Just... that's okay." "Take your time." "Fat bastard!" "Calm down." "Calm down, Mark." "Try and focus on why she wants a divorce." "Well, it's obvious, isn't it?" "Oh, put them there, there." "Ohh!" "I'm sorry." "It's because of this." "I've driven her away by being a total fucking fruitcake." "Tits!" "Tits!" "Pussy!" "Fucking pussy!" "Tits!" "Calm down, Mark!" "I'm fighting it, Charlotte, I really am." "But it's so powerful." "Help me, please." "You've got to consider professional help, Mark, a proper course of therapy." "I haven't got time!" "Ohh!" "Oh, what are you doing?" "I want you to be a witness here." "I am declaring war on this disease." "♪ Sprinkle, sprinkle, little star ♪" "♪ how I wonder what you are ♪" "Oh, stop it!" "Mark, stop!" "No, I'm all right, really." "I know what I'm doing." "Please." "There." "What do you think?" "Ridiculous." "This lot's gonna stay on for an hour and a half minimum." "No trouble." "I'm telling you, I'm going to beat it." "You're suffering now, aren't you?" "Me?" "No, no." "I should have let you go home on the bus." "Come on, there's some wet wipes in the dash." "I'm fine." "Mark." "How far down this road?" "Just a bit further." "How far?" "Just..." "where?" "Just coming up here." "Here." "Stevie!" "That's my... that's my wife." "Thanks for the lift." "There's no one in." "Uh, no, they're at work." "What is that stuff on your face?" "Oh, it's, uh..." "it's chocolate powder." "It's like a hot-chocolate drink, an energy drink." "I had, uh, a bit of an accident." "W-why are you here?" "I-I thought you might have heard from your solicitor by now." "I'll, uh..." "I'll wipe this off." "Who was she outside?" "Uh, Charlotte." "She's, uh..." "she's just a mate." "Have you got any condoms?" "Um..." "No." "No." "That's okay." "Concentrate." "Concentrate." "Oh, this is good." "Oh, this is so good." "I think I'm..." "I'm coming." "Oh, yeah, yeah." "What?" "No, no, not yet!" "I'm there, I'm there." "No, just a minute!" "I'm there." "No." "Yes!" "Please!" "Please, not yet!" "Oh!" "Hang on." "I think I'm coming, too!" "Ah." "I'm coming!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Oh, it was perfect, Charlie." "Just perfect." "Beautiful." "I wish you'd been there." "Well, I don't think so." "No, sorry." "I didn't mean it like that." "I just meant... so, um... so, what are you gonna do now?" "Woo her." "What?" "Woo her." "I'm gonna woo her." "She thinks that we should go ahead with the divorce and then start all over again." "Draw a line under the past." "Okay." "Well, if you think that's the right thing to do." "Yeah, yeah, I think it is." "Thanks, Charlie, for helping me through this." "Yeah." "So, is that it?" "That's it." "Good, old Bertie." "Bertie?" "Berthold Lubetkin, he designed them." "One of my heroes." "Aren't they fantastic?" "Uh, I suppose so..." "If your name's Lenin." "You're not seeing them at their best." "Follow me." "Wow!" "No, wait." "Just keep going." "God, it's amazing." "It really is." "I can't believe what's-his-name..." "Lubetkin, Bertie." "I can't believe he went to all this trouble for a stairwell." "Yeah, well, he wanted everyone who lived here to have something beautiful." "So he chose the one part of the building that they all had to use." "The stairs." "That's nice." "That's a sweet thought." "Yeah." "Thank you, Bertie." "God, I just feel so frustrated." "I want to work again." "You will." "Have faith in yourself." "We've all got our struggles, each of us." "But to be allowed to take my little girl out to the park for the first time in seven months, me and her..." "I tell you, it was bloody brilliant." "So, what happens is, she leans over me, and a bit of her bloody ice cream falls on my bloody trouser, doesn't it?" "For God's sake, Hasim!" "I am so sorry." "Well, that was it, wasn't it?" "Disaster." "I started obsessing that the chemicals in it would eat through the fabric into my skin, and anyway, long story short, I look up..." "And she's gone." "Next thing I hear..." "Is an almighty screech of brakes." "I run out to the road." "People had already started to gather round, and there she was, hysterical." "She was all right, thank God." "But when I got her home, and her mother saw the distress she was in, she said, "you've blown it now." "You know that, don't you?"" "Poor Rhodri." "That is the definition of madness, isn't it?" "For that moment, his OCD was more important to him even than his child." "His child?" "Madness." "Madness, yeah, yeah." "She had a condom, Charlie, in a bag." "Who?" "Stevie..." "it didn't hit me at the time, but, thinking about it now, why, why?" "What was she doing with a condom in a bag?" "Mark, have you listened to anything today?" "The purpose of these sessions is to share experiences." "What is the point of coming if you don't even listen?" "I was just wondering, that's all." "You don't think she's seeing someone, do you?" "No, but then she wouldn't have had sex with me, would she?" "Why don't you try and spend a few moments wondering about someone else?" "What about Rhodri and his problems?" "Did I hear my name?" "Well, I'll tell you what, Charlie." "I feel better today just for having talked about it, you know?" "Everyone's been so lovely." "As Gemma was saying over there, it's not what happened..." "Rhod?" "Yes, love?" "Can you go, please?" "What?" "It's just..." "You know..." "Three?" "Odd number?" "What?" "Oh, for Christ's sake!" "Sorry for breathing." "I'm sorry, Rhod." "Yeah, forget it." "I'm just having a bad night." "Fuck!" ""Try thinking about someone else's problems."" "Do you really want to know what I think?" "I think you've been separated from your wife for a year, and she's entitled to sleep with whoever she wants." "It's just one big wallow with you, isn't it, Mark?" "Stevie, Stevie this, Stevie that... what are you coming to these meetings for, marriage guidance on the cheap?" "You know what?" "You're right." "What am I doing here?" "I'm back with my wife again." "I'm back in control again." "Oh, so you're back with her, are you?" "Oh, for God's sake, it was a sympathy fuck, that's all." "She felt sorry for you." "Oh, it's an ugly thing, jealousy." "Jealousy?" "You might not like being on your own, but there's no reason to take it out on me, okay?" "How dare you?" "How fucking dare you?" "!" "Okay, bye." "Bye." "Yes, yes." "Don't you dare come back!" "Bastard." "Bastard." "Hello?" "Hi, Stevie, it's me." "Hello?" "Who is it?" "It's me, Mark." "It's Mark, Stevie." "What do you want, Mark?" "It's late." "It's only about half past 10:00." "Sorry, did I wake you up?" "Well, yeah." "You did." "Well, I was passing, and I saw the light was on." "What do you want?" "Well, I was, uh..." "I was missing you, and..." "I've come to woo you." "What?" "You know..." "Woo." "Woo?" "Look, can I come in?" "It's late, Mark." "I'm in bed." "I just wanted to see you." "Well, you can't." "I'm... not tonight." "I'm tired." "I'm sorry." "I've got some chocolate sprinkle." "Good night, Mark." "Oh!" "Oh!" "Ohh!" "Ugh." "Mark?" "Mark!" "Mark!" "What are you doing, mate?" "I trod in shit again." "I was looking up at her window and I think I saw someone in there." "And I stepped back." "I think it was shit." "You've burnt all your skin." "What is that, neat bleach?" "For God's sake, Mark!" "You'd better do something about yourself, Mark, now." "It's gone too far." "I mean it." "People who do this to themselves aren't well." "Mark, come on, I'm not leaving you here." "No, I'm fine." "What happened to him, eh?" "It's just a suit and a haircut." "She won't see me, you know." "Won't even talk to me." "She's seeing someone else, isn't she?" "Who's she seeing, mate?" "You know, don't you?" "It's been going on for ages." "Just put this away." "You're coming with me." "No." "Come on." "No, no!" "I've lost my wife and my job!" "I'm not gonna lose my best mate as well!" "There we go." "There's Alison." "Hello, Alison, how are you?" "Who's this you're with?" "Oh, shit." "Don't want to know about that, then." "There's Gareth." "How's Gareth?" "Not bad, mate." "There's dad, a very proud dad." "Ah, mum and the lovely bride." "Moving on through..." "who have we got here?" "I don't know who that is." "Hello, how are you?" "I don't know where we're going now." "The cake!" "The cake!" "Look at the cake." "And who's that?" "A niece, one of the nieces." "Auntie and Uncle." "Hello, how are you?" "Say a few words." "Hello, how are you?" "You all right?" "Good, good." "Okay." "Say cheese!" "Say cheese!" "A toast!" "Toast, ladies and gentlemen." "To the..." "to the best architect in London, and the most beautiful woman." "Cheers." "Cheers." "Cheers." "Toast, ladies and gentlemen." "To the..." "to the best architect in London, and... to the..." "to the best architect in London, and in London, and the most beautiful woman." "Cheers." "Cheers." "Cheers." "Whoa!" "Aah!" "Bastard!" "Bastard!" "Get off!" "Get off me!" "Aah!" "Mark?" "What are you doing, man?" "Put the cabbage down!" "It's you, isn't it?" "I know, mate!" "I know all about it." "What are you talking about?" "Stevie!" "You're shagging her, aren't you?" "!" "I saw you!" "You said she was beautiful!" "I saw you!" "When?" "On the wedding video!" "And then today I saw you with your arm round her!" "Now stop it!" "I know it's you." "It all fits." "Mark, she asked me to come and meet her today." "Of course she did." "She wants me to tell you to stop!" "Stop what?" "Phoning her night and day, all the time!" "And she thinks you're following her... and you are, aren't you?" "She's at her wits' end." "You've got to leave her alone, otherwise she's gonna call the police in." "I'm sorry." "Get off me." "You won't go for the cabbages again?" "Just get off me." "I'm sick of it." "Mark?" "Mark!" "Hello?" "Yes, speaking." "Nathan?" "Charlotte?" "Hi." "Hi, nice to meet you." "Thanks for, you know, seeing me." "How are you?" "Curious." "Mark?" "Mark?" "Thank you." "If I'd known you were coming..." "How are you?" "You." "Me?" "Fine, yeah." "Yeah, fine." "You know that you can come back to the group any time, Mark." "I'm sorry I lost my temper, but..." "Well, you said some hurtful things." "Hurtful things, yeah, I did, yeah." "I'm sorry." "I'm really..." "I'm really sorry." "Do you remember I was talking to you about getting therapy... not just the group, but, you know, proper therapy." "Well, I've been going to this new guy, and he's really good, Mark." "Let me book you an appointment." "Appointment, yeah, that's a good idea." "I've just..." "I've just got to get my head straight first." "You've been skipping your medication, haven't you?" "Oh, I meant to get more tablets." "I'm sorry about the, uh..." "Clutter." "But..." "I find it sort of, uh..." "Comforting." "I might, uh..." "I might need them." "Right." "Now you." "Can I come in?" "Yeah." "Have you properly soaped your anus/genitals?" "Very funny." "I thought you were going to wash your hair?" "Hair?" "No." "It's fine." "It doesn't need washing." "It's filthy, it's matted, and it smells." "Smells?" "Mm-hmm." "Where's the shampoo?" "Uh..." "Shampoo?" "No, you see, the thing is... put your head back." "Back, yes." "I'm just a bit worried... put your head back." "I won't get any in your eyes." "Shut up, you girl." "It's nowhere near your eyes." "Shhh." "Shh." "Let's do something today." "What?" "It's Saturday." "Let's go somewhere..." "go for a drive." "Get you out of this place." "God knows you could do with some fresh air." "Well, I-I don't think I'm really up to that yet." "Let's go to the seaside." "I'm not really big on..." "Come on." "Just say somewhere." "Anywhere?" "Anywhere." "Bexhill." "Where?" "Bexhill-on-Sea." "I like Bexhill." "Why there?" "De la warr pavilion." "Erich Mendelsohn." "First reinforced concrete structure in Britain." "Okay." "A piece of architecture." "That's good." "Something positive." "Have you finished now?" "No." "I think we'll give it another going over." "It's not squeaking yet." "Oh, I hate you." "I love you, too." "Next right." "It's straight on, isn't it?" "No." "No." "Next right." "Right here." "Right." "Right here." "It's straight on, isn't it?" "No, no." "Definitely right here." "Hold on." "This is a dead end." "Back into there." "I don't understand this." "I'm no architect, but that is not a pavilion." "What's going on, Mark?" "It's her parents' place." "We..." "We... we used to come here most weekends." "She's there now." "I'm sure of it." "With him." "Who?" "The bloke she's seeing." "Whoever he is." "You've brought me here under false pretenses, haven't you?" "Yes." "What are you going to do, go in there and make a fool of yourself?" "Beat this bloke up..." "if he even exists?" "I saw him at the window!" "You've got to let go of her." "That's the only way she'll ever come back to you, Mark!" "Back to me..." "Dirty bitch!" "Oh..." "Dirty... fuck!" "Dirty, filthy..." "Mark..." "Fucking bitch!" "Fuck!" "Dirty fucking..." "Mark!" "Mark!" "Oh..." "Mark." "Come on." "Mark!" "Stop it!" "Stop it!" "Stop it!" "Stop it!" "I just wish it would go away." "It will." "It will..." "If you look at it for what it is!" "She's not your wife anymore." "She's an obsession." "Okay." "It was worth the drive." "Erich Mendelsohn." "Thank you." "A symphony." "Mendelsohn?" "Yeah." "He was a Jew in Germany just before the war." "Imagine the life he had." "And yet it's so calm." "Peaceful." "He'd just stand on the site for ages." "Get a feel of it." "And then he'd do sketches and just work his ideas up from them." "He wanted to take his inspiration from..." "Everything around him." "Look." "It's... it's the sea..." "Where the ocean meets the coastline." "See the waves rolling in." "The curves." "The ebb and f-flow of the tide." "Thanks, Erich, old mate." "Gesundheit." "Bottoms up." "Mendelssohn." "Felix Mendelssohn." "I used to play." "But it all got messed up with..." "You know what." "That was amazing." "Habits." "What?" "I've just realized..." "habits." "I've, uh..." "I've always had this daily checklist." "Uh..." "Look." "Sleep." "Eat." "Shit." "Piss." "Had a wank..." "wank?" "Well, that was optional." "Had a bath." "Deodorant." "Uh, wash my face." "Wash my hands." "Clean my teeth." "Rinse." "Check my face for spots." "Aftershave." "Hair." "Check my shoes for dog shit." "And habits." "All my OCDs." "That's..." "That's what I used to call them." "That's what I thought they were... just habits." "Habits." "I'm seven years old, playing football with my mates." "Every time I get the ball," "I have to check that my flies aren't undone." "They all take the piss out of me but..." "I get the ball." "Everyone's looking at me." "I start ticking and twitching away." "They're all laughing." "Pressure." "Are they undone?" "Are they?" "And I can't stop checking them." "Seven years old, that's all I was." "I've always had it!" "Of course you have." "No, don't you see?" "I've always had it!" "Mark!" "Mark!" "Where are you going?" "I'm sorry." "I've got to go and see Stevie." "But..." "But why?" "!" "Why?" "!" "Hasn't today meant anything?" "Sorry." "You play the violin beautifully!" "Yes, mate?" "Mark?" "Hello, Bob." "Haven't seen you for..." "for ages." "You're looking well." "Uh, I was just passing, actually, and..." "And..." "Well, I've really come to see Stevie." "I see." "Sorry, me old mate, she's not here." "What's happened to your face?" "You been in a fight?" "Uh, no..." "uh, no." "No." "I just had a bit of a run-in with, um..." "With a van." "Please, Bob, I need to see her." "It's... it's important." "Mark, I know this isn't an easy time for you, but I'm asking you to go home." "We've got a barbie on, we've got some friends round." "This is not the right time." "Trust me." "Okay, Bob." "Uh..." "I understand." "Sorry to have d-disturbed you." "That's the spirit." "I'll tell her you called." "No doubt she'll give you a tinkle." "Okay?" "Fine." "Cheerio, then." "Ch-cheerio, Bob." "Who was that, daddy?" "Ah, no one." "Jehovah's witness." "Oh, really?" "Jehovah's who?" "Oh, God." "No worries." "Don't worry." "G-Gareth!" "I knew it!" "I knew you were seeing someone!" "Why didn't you just tell me?" "!" "Can somebody please get him away from me?" "'Cause he's really freaking me out!" "I'll deal with it." "Come on, now." "This is not the time or the place." "Why didn't you just tell me?" "!" "Why didn't you just tell me?" "!" "Getting violent isn't going to help now, is it?" "I'm not getting violent." "Good." "Come on." "Call the police!" "This is it, Mark!" "This is really it now!" "Help him, Bob." "Do something." "Are you happy now?" "Or do you want to attack me as well?" "God, I wish I'd never met you!" "Mark!" "Mark!" "Come on." "Come on." "Let's go home." "She pushed right past me, Judith." "He only came here today because he loved you, Stevie." "That's all he's ever done." "I'm sorry." "Do I know you?" "Mark, this is a really bad place for you to be." "Hang on!" "He bursts in here uninvited and attacks someone, and we're the bad ones?" "You have no idea of the agony he's been through..." "That he's going through." "The agony he's going through?" "What do you know about it, for fuck's sake?" "!" "Don't swear, dear." "Shut up, mum!" "He's been stalking me!" "He wanted to talk to you." "Why couldn't you just talk to him?" "!" "You married him, didn't you?" "I don't even know who you are." "Why don't you just crawl back under the rock you came from and leave me alone?" "Come on." "Come on, Mark." "It's okay." "It's okay." "Yeah." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." "Just one thing." "Just one thing." "Mark can't do this, so I'll do it for him." "Oh!" "Hey!" "Oh, no!" "Oh, you!" "Aah!" "Oh!" "Give it to me." "Mark, I'm sorry." "Give it to me." "Come on, you don't have to go." "Come on, you wanted to talk, why don't we... that afternoon..." "When you..." "When you licked the chocolate off me." "What did she lick?" "Chocolate, granny." "I was confused." "I just wanted it to be like it was before you became like this." "I just wanted Mark back." "I am Mark." "I've always been like this." "And I probably always will be." "Goodbye, Stevie." "Wait." "Mark!" "Wait!" "Nice tits." "Nice arse." "Fancy a walk?" "Bit of a bad hair day." "You look lovely." "Come on."