"Relic Hunter (PAL) 205 Fertile Ground" "Lono, I must take you to safety." "And your name?" "(party conversations)" "Tell me we weren't this uncool in high school." "Worse." "We had big hair." "Monica alert." "Aah." "Sydney!" "God!" "I haven't seen you since homecoming." "You look fabulous." "And you, look at you." "Can you believe it?" "8 months and counting." "What about you, sydney?" "Any kids?" "Oh, no, no kids." "(monica:) no?" "No." "No?" "No." "Oh, well, it doesn't matter." "There's still time." "Do you want to touch it?" "It's good luck." "No, I..." "I'll pass." "Aah..." "Leilani." "Touch me for luck?" "Isn't that the same pick-up line she used in high school?" "(friend:)looking for tony?" "I haven't seen him." "I haven't seen him since the day we graduated." "(sydney:) you know, I always wondered... (friend:) what it would've been like if you'd married him?" "You go, girl." "(tony:) it's really nice to see you again." "I was..." "Hoping I'd see you here tonight." "You look great, sydney." "You do." "You are the reason I'm here tonight, you know?" "Yeah?" "Yeah, you see, I've been doing a lot of thinking about you." "I think I know where to find the lost idol of iono." "Oh." "Oh." "{ Advertisement }" "Phone been ringing off the hook?" "No." "Better check the messages." "Syd' said she'd call to confirm her flight." "I know that look, nigel." "Girl I met in the library." "Gwendolyn?" "She hasn't called me back." "Get a grip." "Every time you call and she doesn't call you back," "You get into this..." "This..." "This..." "Funk." "Funk." "Yes, that's it." "So you understand what's going on here?" "Girls don't call guys in funks." "Stop moping." "Get over her." "Get out." "Right." "I might miss a call." "Earth to nigel, look, didn't we just go over this with..." "Kate?" "Oh, different circumstance entirely." "Different circumstance," "Same m.O." "Didn't you win over kate with a jeep?" "A motorcycle." "(claudia:)you've got to start playing hard to get." "Don't make yourself so available." "What about chivalry and proper breeding" "And the man making the first move?" "Okay, that went out with opening doors" "And covering puddles with your cape." "So, I'm coming on too strong?" "Just a little." "Yeah, well, I've already left 3 messages." "(claudia:)okay, that's called stalking, nigel." "Not a big hit with the ladies." "Syd' hasn't left any messages." "Maybe she's run off on a wild fling" "With her high school sweetheart, tony apua." "(nigel:)high school sweetheart?" "(sydney:)the old coast road." "How many times did you take me out there in high school" "To see that lono shrine?" "(tony:)we had a lot of fun." "Amazing." "It hasn't changed at all." "Still a patch of barren wasteland in the middle of all this lush green." "Okay, see, this is where cook's men came ashore" "And massacred our people." "And stole the idol." "Yeah." "Legend says that this part of hawaii" "Shall remain fallow until lono is return." "You remembered." "You only mentioned it every day for 2 years when we went together." "Pretty nerdy, huh?" "Well, actually, it's one of the reasons" "Why I fell in love with you." "And the mustang didn't hurt, either." "(tony:)nah, the mustang didn't hurt." "Tony, the idol's been missing for 200 years." "Now, you think you know where it is?" "I know it sounds ridiculous coming" "From a junior high science teacher, but you don't know, I..." "I spent every summer in the library, I took sabbaticals." "And then finally this summer, I made a breakthrough." "Okay." "I tracked down the log book from cook's ship." "The resolution?" "Yes." "I thought she was going to hawaii on business." "Oh, that's what she said." "She even stopped by a museum there to conduct a seminar." "But she spent the entire day before she left locked up in her office," "Looking at her old high school yearbooks." "Trust me, business was the last thing on her mind." "(tony:)see, cook's men attacked the island to avenge his death" "And they looted the idol." "Then the resolution sailed for England in December, 1779," "But the idol was not on the cargo's manifest." "It was a dead end." "Except for this." "Come here." "A journal entry says on the voyage home, 5 sailors were found guilty of mutiny." "They were thrown into a longboat off the coast of madagascar," "Never to be seen again." "You think they took the idol with them?" "Then after they were put to sea," "Several items from the ship's store were discovered missing," "Including something made fr vcanic rock." "It's a longshot." "I know, I know." "What she really went there to see was who got fat," "Who got married, who made it big, and the one that got away." "And she said this tony was the one that got away?" "Not in so many words." "But she said he was tall dark, handsome" "And they dated in high school." "I filled in the rest." "Isn't that a little presumptuous?" "Yes." "But she hasn't called yet, has she?" "(phone ringing)" "Ancient studies." "Hey, syd', how was the reunion?" "Was everybody fat?" "Claudia, put nigel on." "Well was he there?" "Claudia." "(claudia:)was he bald?" "Claudia." "All right, all right." "(nigel:) syd'." "I need you to get on a plane to madagascar." "Madagascar?" "Get to a village called faradofay." "It's on the southeast coast." "Faradofay." "I wonder how you spell that." "(nigel:) mr." "Fletcher?" "Well?" "You missed him." "I've only been gone 5 minutes." "I've been waiting here for 2 days" "And now you're telling mehat I've missed him?" "You missed him." "Come back again." "Who knows?" "Maybe you'll catch him in." "Next time, send up a flare or something." "That's sydy's plane." "I'll be back in 5 minutes." "You do that." "That's for the scotch." "It's $300." "Make sure him and his friends don't leave here walking." "Hey, syd'." "Hey, nigel." "What do you have?" "Well, the thing of it is, syd, the locals" "Have got a lot of built-up resentment" "Of anything outside their frame of reference." "Sounds strange, I know, but it's quite understandable actually," "Given their history of occupation and..." "So you got zip." "Zip." "Say hi to tony." "(nigel:) tony?" "Tony?" "Oh, we've heard absolutely nothing about tony." "The guy we're looking for is..." "His name's fletcher." "Yeah?" "Who's that?" "He owns the bar." "He's a local know-it-all." "I'm having a hard time negotiating an audience." "When did you two meet?" "I mean..." "I mean originally." "Nigel." "It was a hit-and-run." "Hit-and-run?" "Yeah." "Tony." "Well, actually, it was at a game." "She was cheering on the sidelines and I went down" "And t and long on a pass and I crashed into her." "Sydney was a..." "Sydney was a cheerleader?" "Oh, yeah." "Let's not go there, nigel." "Oh, okay." "You..." "You wouldn't have any photos, would you?" "Oh, mama." "Oh." "I did say it was unsavoury." "Yeah, you were being kind." "Oh, yeah." "Feels good." "(sydney:) that's one bone." "You have 205 more." "(sydney:) you do the math." "Hi, my assistant assures me that you could tell us where fletcher is." "(nigel:) I'm afraid my boss isn't as patient as I am." "Back room maybe." "But I wouldn't go back there." "Syd', you better stay here." "Let me handle this, okay?" "Might get dangerous." "All right." "Does he know what he's doing?" "God, I hope so." "Mind your own damn business!" "Didn't your mother teach you to play nice?" "My leg." "Is she always this athletic?" "It usually doesn't take this long." "She must be jet-lagged." "(nigel:)sydney..." "Freeze, sister." "There'll be no killing in my bar." "Fletcher?" "Fletcher?" "{ Advertisement } ...Say it's not on this island." "They say 5 of them came ashore in a longboat," "Started making enemies right away." "Folks here didn't take too kindly to foreigners back then." "Must be comforting to know that you've come such a long way." "So what happened to them?" "Outwore their welcome." "The villagers banished them." "(fletcher:)they headed west towards magar peak." "Magar peak?" "Never heard from again." "Did the sailors bring anything with them?" "With them?" "Basically..." "An idol." "So many people asking that same question, all of a sudden." "Who else?" "I don't know." "Some bloke with a scar." "(sydney:)mag peak." "Can you tell us the fastesway to get there?" "Nope." "Do you know someone that can?" "Maybe." "A couple of guys I know, they know this island real good." "But they're a little odd." "(sydney:)thanks." "We'll take our chances." "Oh..." "Oh..." "There you go." "Easy does it." "Oh, leg, leg..." "Leg..." "Tony..." "(sydney:)oh, geez." "(tony:)ouch." "Looks like it could be broken." "Huh?" "Yeah." "You're not going anywhere, nigel." "Do you have a doctor?" "Yeah." "Could you call him?" "I got to warn you, he's a little odd." "(nigel:)what if he doesn't have a medical degree?" "What if he practices bloodless surgery?" "I'm sure he'll be fine, nigel." "Besides, I think this fletcher guy" "Tends to exaggerate the oddness factor." "You think?" "(sydney:) fletcher's an odd character." "(tony:) no more than anyone ee in this town." "Didn't he say it was past these trees?" "Yeah, an old traer with a satellite dish." "I don't know." "Fletcher did say they were a bit odd." "What?" "Maybe they're waiting for us inside..." "If we can find a door." "There." "What?" "(sydney:) fletcher sent us." "He said you could show us the way to magar peak." "Buffy, I implore you to be careful." "There are demons lining the path every step of the way." "Wb marathon." "You american?" "Yeah." "We love america." "Love it." "Our dream is to move to la." "We love la." "Great." "Why do you guys want to go to magar peak?" "We're investigating a historical event." "Yah." "Historical event's good." "Okay." "(sydney:) great." "We want to leave right... (together:) problem." ""ally mcbeal"." "New episode." "(tony:) how about this?" "This could probably buy you a lot of videotape." "All right." "(sydney:) okay, so fletcher tells us that you have a truck" "That can get us there." "You don't have a truck?" "Oh, we have a truck." "But... (together:) problem." "Truck's broke." "Needs a part." "(tony:) yeah, okay, yeah." "Well, so how expensive is this part?" "Oh, very." "Yes, oh..." "It's sad." "(sydney:) that must be the 4x4 fletcher was talking about." "Prints look fresh." "You thinking what I'm thinking, sipowicz?" "Perp's headed to magar peak." "Who is this guy?" "He's over this way, margie." "Oh yah..." "You must answer in the form of a question." "(sydney:) will you guys shut up?" "Is that your final answer?" "Trail ends here." "He must've taken the ridge." "That would lead away from magar peak." "Why don't you guys take the lead?" "Yeah, but why would he reverse directions?" "I have an idea, it's not a very pleasant one." "{ Advertisement }" "1," "2," "And... 3 little indians." "And..." "Come on, come on, where are you?" "You looking for me?" "Yeah, I'm looking for you." "Why are you stalking us?" "Why do you think, lady?" "Because I'm going to kill you and your friends" "Before you get to that lono statue and I'm going to get rich." "(tony:) sydney?" "Let's go." "How'd you find out about the idol?" "Same way as you did, lady." "Only I'm not as ethical, am I?" "Tony tried to hire you?" "Yeah, that's right." "Once I saw the log from the resolution," "Why do I need him?" "Why do I need you?" "Huh?" "Huh?" "Have a nice trip." "See you next fall." "(tony:) he's not moving." "Is that who was following us?" "(sydney:) yes." "All hail xena, warrior prince." "(tony:) sydney." "Sydney, talk to me." "You lied to me." "I didn't lie." "I didn't exactly tell the truth." "I was expecting something a little better than that, tony." "You're right." "Look, sydney, come on, when..." "When we broke up..." "When you broke up with me..." "Remember?" "I always thought you'd come back to me." "Why not?" "I mean, I was pretty special, wasn't I?" "All right, so fact is you didn't" "And you went off and had this great career" "And I became this ordinary highchool teacher" "Who never left the island." "So when I found the log..." "Your male ego started to sweat." "Ego, insecurity, rejection, any one of those, pick one." "The fact is I couldn't call you." "I just couldn't." "So when I got a hold of this dryer guy..." "He said that the log was worthless." "But not before he made a copy for himself." "Yeah, okay, so I was stupid." "No." "Just naive." "Well, I did what I wanted after all," "Which was to see you." "It was more than just about lono, you know?" "We..." "We've got a lot of lost time to make up for." "Yeah, we do." "Come on, guys, let's go." "That's magar peak." "The place you're looking for is juson the other side of that valley." "This way." "Watch this branch." "There's your valley." "(sydney:) it's even more beautiful than I imagined." "(tony:) oh, it's amazing." "(sydney:) my god." "(tony:) it's beautiful." "This is..." "This is the exact opposite" "Of where lono was stolen from in hawaii." "The idol's here, I can feel it." "(tony:) look for any signs of an old structure." "If the mutineers lived here after they were expelled" "From the village, they would've needed shelter, food." "Look for any remains of cleared land or a garden." "Guys, over here." "(tony:) what?" "Old gravestones." "(tony:) the cemetery." "Smollet," "Hawkins," "Macrob," "Bowle," "And that's got to be firth, yes." "The 5 mutinee." "What?" "Does anything seem strange to you?" "5 mutineers,5 graves." "What are you getting at?" "Who buried the last one?" "(tony:) yeah." "Wow!" "This is where the mutineers must've lived" "After they were banished by the natives from their village." "How about this container?" "(sydney:) wait, I see something over here." "He's very boney." "$10 says this is our mystery gravedigger." "Look, carpenter's tools." "Wait a minute, I found something." "Feels like..." "It is, a book, a journal." "But no idol." "Must've been pretty handy." "But apparently not very leggy." "Who wrote the journal?" "The ship's carpenter, firth." "You know, in the ship's log," "It mentions that the men used to call him peg-leg." "So then that begs the question:" "If this is firth..." "Then who's buried in his grave?" "This grave's empty, scully." "(sydney:) then why is it here?" "(tony:) well, hang on." "Firth says in here" "That he survived his shipmates by 10 years." "See, he was obsessed with protecting the idol" "So that the valley would remain as it was." "Poor guy must have spent all those years hiding it." "(hollow banging)" "False bottom." "Yeah." "Alright." "(sydney:) give me a hand." "(tony:) sydney, can you see it?" "Sydney?" "It's here." "(tony:)yeah." "{ Advertisement }" "We found him." "Sparkly." "Now, how do we get to it?" "I don't think we do." "I think we get it to come to us." "That means there's got to be a control mechanism of some nd." "Right, right, right, right, right." "Here, here, here." "W." "What is it?" "(tony:) it's an alphabet square." "These tiles usually spell out some sort of hidden password," "Something with an even number of letters." "Why don't we just boost someone up?" "Because it could be booby-trapped." "(sydney:) os..." "Ti..." "Iq..." "Aw..." "Or..." "Musical scales?" "(sydney:)he was a sailor, not a musician." "It would be something that he knew well." "(tony:) yeah." "(sydney:) "smollet"?" ""firth"?" "All odd numbers." ""britain"?" "The name of captain cook's ship." "Right." "(sydney:) "re-so..."" "(tony:) "..." "Lu..."" ""..." "Tion."" "Push." "What's the matter?" "(tony:) our people used to believe that if a young woman touched lono," "She'd be pregnant within a year." "You saw the valley up there." "I sure did." "(tony:) excuse me." "Okay, all right, I got you." "It's been a long time." "Here, I'll give you a hand." "(tony:) hey!" "What are you doing?" "You crazy?" "Crazy like a fox." "We pull out the eyes, sell them," "We'll have enough bucks to get to l.A." "Come on, guys, it's not funny." "(tony:) all right." "Hey," "(knocking)" "Come on!" "What about them?" "I guess the tribal council just put out their torch." "Pass me those rocks." "They're sealing us in." "I'm not kidding." "They're sealing us in." "Come on!" "♪ money, money, money..." "Money. ♪" "Let us out!" "(rapping) ♪ we're going to l.A. ♪ ♪ we're going to l.A. ♪" "♪ we're going to america. ♪ ♪ we're going to america. ♪" "♪ and you're not coming. ♪ ♪ and you're not coming. ♪ where we going?" "L.A." "(tony:) come on, hey!" "Hey, come back her" "Those sneaky, little..." "There's got to be another way out of here." "No, firth would only need one entrance." "Let's take a look at the engineering job that firth did down here." "Now, to make room for that descender that lono was on," "He had to dig up, too." "So there must be a warren of air shafts" "That he dug above the ceiling that has the pulleys" "That lift the counterweights and the idol." "Sort of like the fly room above a stage, right?" "Exactly." "Remember the senior play?" ""west de story," how could I forget?" "I took the part of maria just so I could kiss you." "Okay." "So the counterweights aren't in this room." "Firth must have built an access shaft behind the walls" "And above the ceiling, close to the surface," "And then covered it with earth." "We find that..." "Wait a minute." "Here, let me try to pry it off." "Wait." "Okay..." "Okay." "Okay, set it down." "Okay, the access shaft..." "Our ticket out of here." "You were right, sydney." "(dryer:) hello, boys, where are your friends?" "I said, where are they?" "(tony:) keep your head down." "Okay." "Tony, I made it." "All right." "Sorry." "It's all right." "I'm coming." "Stan and cartman are definitely going to pay for this." "There's the jeep." "Oh god." "They definitely id." "Dryer." "You're back soon." "Yeah." "What time's the plane going to get here?" "It's due any minute." "Good." "Give me scotch." "We're out of scotch." "Have a cognac." "Pass any others on the way?" "A couple." "They ain't going to be back this way, though." "Listen, there was an english guy hanging around here earlier." "Did you see where he went?" "Afraid not." "(tony:) take it easy, slow down." "Slow down." "That's for the 4 x 4." "That's for the drinks." "And I'll take one for the road." "Yeah." "If dryer's still here, he's waiting for the seaplane." "I'm going to check the bar, okay?" "Keep your head down." "I will." "Don't move." "Outside." "Let's go." "(tony:) don't shoot." "Okay, I get the message." "Get out." "You, out of my way." "I've got a plane to catch." "Let him go." "I'll tell you what." "You step aside and I'll forget our past differences" "And you'll both live." "Unfortunately, I'm not the forgiving type." "When you're a jet..." "I got it." "It's a bit heavy." "{ Advertisement }" "Well, lono's back in his place." "Now I'm going have to think of another reason to see you." "We were a long time ago, weren't we?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "Hey, maybe when "west side story" comes back into town," "I could call you." "We'll catch a show." "Now, that would be nice." "Yeah, that would be nice." "Sydney's still closeting herself in her office." "Humming sh tunes." "I've never seen her like this before." "What happened in hawaii?" "She didn't say." "Well, she's clearly traumatized." "Must have something to do with tony." "The one that got away." "Yes, well," "I'm afraid your predictions on that were slightly off the mark." "Why?" "Was he fat?" "No, quite fit, actually." "Bald?" "Hardly." "If appearances were anything to go by," "He was the perfect package." "She's been staring at the same page for hours." "Tony was definitely the one that got away." "I doubt it." "I think..." "As she got to know him after 15 years," "He didn't meet up to her expectations." "Tony just wasn't sydney's type." "Poor syd'." "Hey, she could be like this for days." "I better cancel all her classes." "You're throwing away your yearbook?" "Yes, claudia, because the past is the past and I'm sydney fox," "The cheerleader, no longer." "Don't we have ancient studies at noon?" "Room's all set." "Where are my lecture notes?" "R classroom." "Excellent." "A cheerleader?" "With pom-poms." "There are pictures" "Of our sydney" "As a cheerleader" "In that yearbook." "Subtitle by:" "Kiasuseven"