"Give it to me!" " No!" "Just wait!" " Hey!" "Lilli?" "Want a juice?" "Mrs. Richter?" "Simply kick at it, that helps sometimes." "Oh, beautiful, really." "Sorry." "I'm behaving terribly." "I'm an interior designer." "Rooms and images fascinate me." " Do you want a coffee?" "Oh yes." "With milk and sugar, please." "It was a distillery before I converted it." "Wonderful, really." "And so close to the lake." "How did you actually find me?" " My husband Thomas is bionic engineer." "He works a lot in the U.S., on the east coast." "A colleague there," "David Gersh, has two of your works at the institute." "We heard that you live just around the corner, so..." "I couldn't believe it." "Do you remember David?" "I've done two pieces for him." "The portrait, I think, was his father." "He was an art collector or something." "Your pictures have such a force!" "Spontaneous and direct." "Thank you." "And you want to be portrayed?" " Me?" "No." "I want a portrait of my children." "From my daughter and my son." " Okay." "How old are they?" "My daughter Lilli is 21, studies dance and singing at the Academy." "She's in the third year." "And the boy?" "How old is he?" " Alexander is 19." "And he lives in Munich too?" "No." "Alexander..." "Yes, that's the problem." "Alexander had a fatal accident." "Last autumn." "Oh, I'm sorry." " It was an accident." "A hunting accident." "I've heard you have experience with the dead." "Well," "I've worked with dead people a few times." "I think that such a picture, that it can help with grief." "This, for example, is Ferdl." "He was the son of my neighbours." "I've painted him from memory." "He's gone out with a rowboat." "He could swim really good, but probably not good enough." "How much will a portrait cost?" "That depends on the size." "And then it's a double portrait." "When can your daughter take the time?" "If you don't need her too many times..." " Why?" "Is she against the picture?" "Well, she's actually against everything, that comes from me." "And is there a photo of Alexander?" " Mountains." "And videos." "He was a beautiful boy." "Photogenic." "We photographed him constantly." "He was an excellent skier." "In the German elite squad." "We had him in this elite boarding school for top athletes in Berchtesgaden." "He was very popular." " Have you thought about the size?" "Huge!" "Approximately 1.50 m x 2 m." "Is that possible?" " No problem." "The bigger the better." "I've imagined them at the piano." "The two did a lot of singing together." "I've always loved this picture." "The two together at the piano." "Well." "The size, two people." "I'd say: 20,000?" " How long do you need?" "Three months." " And when can you start?" "As soon as your daughter has time." " Could it be finished by Christmas?" "Yes." "You want 50% to start with?" "Yes, it would be nice if it's possible." "And the rest on delivery." "And then of course everything I need, ... of material, pictures, videos... that exist of Alexander." "Ferdl has always been here with me." "And got the colours mixed up." "I tell Lilli she shall contact you." " Well, I'm here." "Thank you." "This is very exciting." "I'm glad." "Isn't it strange?" "With all these people around, all the time?" "They are my people." "Do you talk to them sometimes?" " Yes." "And?" "Do they answer?" " Sometimes." "Take good care of my child!" "Please say hello to the specialist in Bionics in Germany:" "Professor Dr. Thomas Richter!" "Ladies and gentlemen!" "To discover the secret of the flight of the dragonfly, the nearly frictionless surface of the dolphin's skin and the statics of a reed straw are not abstract goals for us..." "Please, the TV interviews we'll do over there!" "Thomas, would you come over here?" " Please don't leave me alone." "Don't worry, I'm with you." "Yes?" " Hi, it's me." "Are you okay?" "Ah, hello." "Yes, all right." "With you?" "Tobi wants to go to Spain in October." "I told you." "A language course." "In Salamanca." "Well, I think it's good, don't you?" "Yeah, sure, if he wants!" "How much do you need?" " It costs 900." "Can you give 600?" "Yes, fine." " Can you transfer it to me?" "Soon?" " He can also get cash, if he wants." "He just needs to stop by." "We could go and eat or something." "Better transfer it simply." " For 600, he could at least come along." "Do you think that's right?" " What?" "To blackmail him." "With money." " Oh, forget it." "I'll transfer it to you tomorrow." " I think it's a good thing." "Salamanca." " Yes, sure." "Bye Max." "Ciao!" " Oh, Max?" "What?" " Mrs. Stoeckel has died." "Do you remember?" "The woman below us." "She was lying dead in her apartment for one week." "Sounds creepy." " You could say that!" "Shall I tell you what:" "That could happen to me too." "Well, ciao, take care." " Ciao." "What's this fucking crap door?" " Yes, it's old and jamming." "I'm sorry, you need to kick at it, hard." "Yeah, good." " Great." "Nice port." "What's up?" "May I come in?" " Yes, yes, absolutely." "Wow!" "Do you have coffee?" " Yes." "Milk?" "Sugar?" "Both." "Ah, like the Mama!" "She, however, managed to open the port." "With a heavy bump with the hip." "Of course." "I'd prefer if you don't smoke here!" "Great." "Then we're even because I'd prefer if I were not here." "Oh, I find it nice, that you came anyway." "Here you go." " Thank you." "So what do you need from me?" " Why need?" "Maybe we could get to know each other." " At four o'clock I've to be in town." "I was hoping you'd have more time." " Well, I'm really sorry." "Aren't you really keen on this project?" " Bingo." "Grand prize." "Why?" " Because you answer the questions correctly." "No, I mean, why don't you like it, this picture?" "Because my brother's dead." "And my mother wants to hang him on the wall as a decoration." "Well, I hope that it will be more than just decoration." " Sure." "I'm truly sorry that your brother is dead." "I heard you often paint dead people." "Yes." " Are these all dead?" "Some, not all." "And him?" "Is he dead?" " Yes." "Who is it?" " A friend." "You live here too?" " Yes." "Well, this one isn't dead." "It's one of my favourite pictures." "Who is it?" "A boy." "Pretty." " Yes." "Do you live alone?" " Yes." "Are you gay?" "Why do you say that now?" " Just so." "A certain feeling." "No idea." " What does that mean?" "I've no idea." "I've lived alone for so long." "I have no idea." "Well then." "And how do you find my brother?" "Well, he looks like a nice guy." "That he was." " But he smiles a bit too often." "Do you always wear such a braid?" "No, only when I'm training." " Ah, what kind of training is today?" "Dance training." "We're working on a choreography." "Is it fun?" " So-so." "So what you need from me?" " I'd like to make some photos." "A couple of sketches." "And we'll need a piano like you have at home." "Maybe there's one in your school?" "I can look around in the area." " There are all kinds of pianos." "I'll find one." " Well, and I would love to... talk about your brother." "I'll certainly find a piano." "You won't escape from us!" " I'll catch her!" "I'll finish you!" "Stop that girl, don't let her pull, bind her, don't let her escape." "Because we don't know your face," "We don't know." "You aren't welcome for us, you aren't one of us..." "Stop, stop, stop!" "You know what I'm saying now." "The others fly away from you." "What's this?" "You define the tone, not the others!" "Nothing is decided, Lilli." "If you don't like, don't do it!" "All over again!" "Hello." " Hello." "What can I do for you?" "I'd like an espresso and a water." "May I just..." "You're welcome." " Thank you." "Hotel bars at this time are terrible, right?" "Really desolate." "Yes?" " Yes." "So empty and so dark." " I actually quite like it." "Probably you don't travel as much as I do." "I almost live in hotels." "And these bars are my living room." " What are you doing?" "I'm Dental representative." "You allow?" "I have a suite on the first floor." "For the sale." "Until Monday." "Hm." "Nice name." "And what's for lunch, Beatrice?" "Peanuts." " Oh, no!" "I'll get us something nicer." " Oh yeah?" "You know, Richy," "I'd really like to but me and my boss, we have a date." "He'll come very soon, and we always have so little time." "With Americans it can take months." "Greet nicely at home, Richy." "Yes, I'll call you from home." " Hello." "Found a new friend?" "I'll stay here just an hour." "No, it's not a problem, I leave the phone on." "So do I. Ciao!" "Apologies, my book came out today." "Cool photo." " Five years of work." "You can keep it if you want." " Thank you." "Do you come from school?" " Yes." "And you're rehearsing "Alice"?" " Yes." "Beautiful." "What do you take?" "You still play "Alice", right?" "What can I get to drink, Sir?" " What would you like to drink?" "A water please." " A water and a glass of white wine." "Yesterday I was at this painter." " Yes?" "How was it?" "I find the idea totally stupid." "Eliane wishes it so much, do it." " Dad, it's totally awkward." "How do you like the man?" "Kind of weird." "He lives in his studio among all these pictures of dead people." "It's like a mausoleum." "Has he already started to paint?" " No." "We just talked." "She wants us at the piano." " I know." "Dad, I find that really creepy." "Come on." "Well." "Here you go." " Thank you." "How's Mom?" " Pretty good, I think." "She has much to do with this new order in the city." "A flagship store, big deal!" " Really?" "You look tired." "Do you need money?" " No." "I don't know with my school..." " Lilli, go to this painter." "Let him paint you." "Give him what he needs." "It is very important for your mother." "And for you?" " Do you understand?" "Whether you understand me?" " Yes." "A little greeting from the kitchen." "Have you already decided?" " The tenderloin?" "I don't know." " Twice the tenderloin, please." "English, medium?" " Medium!" "Hello?" "Hello!" " Hello!" "Well, how was it?" " We've got a whole page in GEO." "And?" " Very positive." "And with Lilli?" "She was at this painter." " Oh yeah?" "And?" "Well." "She'll do it." "Too bad." "Great!" " Well." "Hey, great!" "Encore!" "I'm ready by the way." "I offer you one more rematch." " Ok." "I'll get two more beers." "Two more, please." "Sporty, sporty." "Can I also have a beer?" " That's a new variation." "You've already got one." " One for me, one for my friend." "Your friend?" "At least for today." "May I call you?" " I don't even know your name." "Aldo." "And you?" " What kind of name is that?" "Spanish or something." "I'm Lilli" " Ok, beautiful Lilli." "I'd like to get to know you." "I don't have a pen." "Hey, Lilli!" "Hello." " Hello Lilli." "Coffee?" " Do you have something else?" "A beer?" "Do you usually have your hair like this?" " Sometimes, yes." "Looks good." "Does it annoy you, when I shoot, while we talk?" "Should I take off my clothes?" " Not necessary." "Look over here, please." "More towards me." "Tell me about the lessons." "What do you want to know?" "What are you actually studying?" "Acting, singing, dance, literature." "A little bit of everything, or what?" "Lean on the pillow please." "And the head a little backwards." "Do you want to paint me like that?" "Stretched out on your couch?" "I only collect impressions." "Well, Max, why have you been alone for so long?" "Because no one knocked on my door." "That sounds lonely." " Oh, I get along very well." "And that's enough?" "Getting along?" "I like being alone." "Aren't you afraid of being alone?" " Oh, I'm more scared of people." "Won't you be happy?" " Be happy?" "Well, I want to put on some music." " Hey, you even have Peter Gabriel." "But Lilli, I need you calm for yet a short time." "Please sit on the chair." "Thank you." "And how's it with you?" "Do you live alone?" "No friend or lover?" " Currently not." "Why are you doing sketches when you've already photographed me?" "It's two different things." "One thing is what the camera tells me, and the other, what my eyes tell me." "How my hands want to describe you." "How do your hands want to describe me, Max?" "Well, nice of course." "I want to please your mother." "Tell me about your brother." "Did you often play the piano together?" "Yes, and quite a lot of singing." "What, for example?" " Pop songs, musical numbers." "Alex liked fun stuff." " Oh, Alexander was amusing?" "Yep." "Alex was really funny!" " And how?" "Did he tell jokes?" " No, he was more physical." "For me he used to play the "Dancing Turk"." "He was really good." "Sometimes he would come into the kitchen, when I quarrelled with my mother." "Then he played the "Dancing Turk"" "behind her back..." "That was hilarious." "So he was a peacemaker too?" "Could be." "Alex hated confrontations." "Unlike you." "And he was harmonic with your parents?" " With my mother at least." "In any case better than me." "My mother found Alex awesome anyway." "They had quite a lot in common." " I see." "What?" "Do you know "La belle indifference"?" "The beautiful indifference?" "Everything great, no problems." " Please look at the window." "Yes, good." "And your father?" "Alex had to be a star for him!" "At school, in sports, everywhere." "And?" "Was he a star?" "He was very disciplined." "He ran 5 kilometers every morning." "No matter what the weather was like." "He was at the ski boarding school." "Once his teacher has called us, because he had gotten lost in a blizzard." "He was also running then." "In the pitch dark, and then he got lost because he couldn't see anything in the snow storm." " That sounds rather exhausting." "Daily training and then go to school." " Could be." "Did you often argue with each other?" " No idea." "No." "With Alex, you can't argue." "He admired me." "Once he recorded this show, in which I participated.." "That was in school, in the auditorium." "I sang a song a solo." "Alex was sitting in front." "I remember him with his recorder... on his lap." "When he noticed that I looked at him, he played the "Turk"." "I had to laugh and could have killed him." "I was so scared, that I couldn't sing." "But when my solo came, he was totally calm." "He didn't even look at me anymore." "He only watched his recorder and held the mic in the air." "As if he would pray." "He probably just checked the volume." "But I think he looked away intentionally to not distract me." "It's weird but I'll never forget how he didn't looked at me." "And at dinner he played the tape for the whole family." "When everybody applauded, Alex whispered into the mic:" "That was beautiful, Lilli." "He whispered that onto the tape." ""That was beautiful. "" "Did my mother actually tell you how my brother died?" "She said in a hunting accident." " In a hunting accident?" "Yes." " That is indeed a clever formulation." "Why?" "Alex was never hunting in his whole life." "My brother committed suicide." " What?" "With a gun." "Well, that part is correct." "Only it wasn't an accident." "He went in the forest behind our house, sat down on a stone and put the gun in his mouth." "Did he leave a message?" "No, nothing." "Are you sure it was suicide?" "Now you sound like my mother." " Why?" "She is sure that it was an accident, right?" " No." "She knows that he did it himself." "But she doesn't want that others know." "The "people"!" "She's afraid, that she's guilty then or something." "Our bad mother." "And that was a year ago now?" "Well, about." "What else do you need?" "That's enough for today." "Thank you." " Okay." "I must leave now." "I need a few more pictures at the piano." " I'll fix it." "Well." "And one more thing." " What else?" "I need someone who stands beside you, as your brother." "Someone who reminds of him." "Do you know anybody, who could do that?" " Certainly." "I'll call you." "In a few days?" " Nice." "Hey." " Hello, Lilli." "Shall we go upstairs?" " Ciao." "Hi, were you waiting a long time?" " Hi, Lilli." "No problem." "Max, this is Tom." "I'll be right back, okay?" "Sit down beside her." "No, on the other side, please." "Yes." "Lilli, play something." " What?" "Well, anything, no idea." "Tom, can stand over here?" "Like this?" " Yes, and look at Lilli." "Yes!" "Lilli, look over here to me!" "Yes, well, well!" "Just play something different, from the past, something funny." "Did your brother touch you while you were playing piano?" "Hands on the shoulder or so?" " Sure, sometimes." "Tom, can you do that again?" "Lilli, can you sing now?" "Are you nuts?" "Do you think I'm a piece of clay on which you fiddle... and can squeeze as you want?" "I'm sick of this crap!" "I'm gone!" "Thanks for your help." "It's heavy for her." "I mean, he's dead, her brother." " I know, I know." "I'm leaving, ok?" "Yes, ciao." "Shit." "What now?" "Haven't got any coffee yet?" "I was about to leave." "Same thing again?" "Hello, two latte and a biscotti, please." "Are you cold?" " No, not at all." "Why?" "You look great." "And the exams?" "Have gone well?" " What exams?" "What you told me on the phone." " Oh." "No problem." "Everything's great." " Congratulations." "Why are you so late?" " I was in the studio." "I'm working on such a huge object." "A sculpture of wood and papier mâché." "6 meter tall!" "I do it together with a friend." "He has experience with wood sculptures." "He's an old stager, 34 and still at the academy." "That place would be nothing for me." "The thing is big, really big." "I like to have a good romp, you know?" "I love to do it with the whole body." "Climbing around, holding on, that's my thing." "Looks good!" "To fill a room with a single object." "I imagine it in a huge bank hall." "Or in an airport, in the middle of the arrival hall." "Nothing for the living room." "Right?" "And what kind of women do you prefer?" "Quite different." "Do you like me?" "Yes, I like you." "Much?" " Listen," "I bought you a cup of coffee and even a biscotti." "For 3, maybe 4 euro." " Well, that's a start." "Do you like me then?" " I'm not so sure yet." "You are quite interesting, but your sweater is stupid." "Sweater is stupid?" "My sweater is gone." "My shoes are ok?" "Yes, your shoes are ok." "Thank you, God, she likes my shoes." "And, are you good in bed?" "So far, there's no complaints." " So you think you're good?" "Yes, I'm good." "Shall I show you?" "Don't know." "You're a strange girl." "I'm not strange." "I'm just a theater bitch." "At least you talk like a bitch." "Maybe I'm just big mouthed." " Oh yeah?" "Nothing behind it?" "Not much." "I don't believe you." "I think I'll leave now." "Yes?" " Tomorrow." "Am I disturbing?" "Mama, I'm asleep." " Did I wake you up?" "I'm sorry." "I thought you were already awake." "It's almost eleven." " Yes." "Were you out late?" " Well, not so late." "But I was so drunk." " How come?" "No idea, just because." "And that was necessary?" "Well, it was necessary." "Mama!" " I just wanted to hear, how you are." "Great." "Apart from my terrible hangover." "And in school?" "Good progress with the probes?" "So so." " Are you getting bored again?" "I must get up now, Mom." "Do you remember when you were small, we sometimes made a picnic lunch." "I picked you up from school, then we went to the art museum... and looked at an exhibition." "Then we had cake on the lawn." "Don't you remember?" "You loved running through the corridors." "Preferably in socks." "I can only remember your many friends." "But we had a good time, didn't we?" "Do you need anything for the winter?" "Hopefully you will not wear... this gray sack dress again." " I like the gray sack." "Should we go shopping next week?" "Now they still have everything." "I prefer you transfer me an amount." " If I can anything, then shopping." "We would only argue a lot." " People are paying lots of money to hear my opinion." "You make..." " We are just different types." "Alexander liked the clothes I picked for him always." "I've only an hour until my lessons." " I won't keep you from it." "All right." " Bye." "Well?" "I just wonder if there's anything to watch already." "Nothing to watch yet." " Too bad." "Shall we have a walk?" "Why isn't there anything to see yet?" "Does it always take so long?" "Well, it's not so easy with you." "Once we were here in summer, with our aunt Andrea." "We were riding such a thing." "Alex was about 10 then, and he said so funny things." " Like what?" "That our family is just like such a pedalo." "We glide gently and peacefully." "If we would watch it from... the bottom we would see that we struggled a lot." "But you can't see that from above." "Pretty clever, my little brother." "Oh, the other day at school, that was maybe not so elegant of me." "I'm sorry." "Okay." "Where were you at noon?" " A private affair." "Lilli, you shall play the lead role." "Lilli, come on!" "Help!" "Lilli, come now!" " I don't want yet!" "Come on!" "I don't want to leave yet." " But I must go!" "Aldo, Aldo, don't go away." "I have to." " Come on inside me." "What?" "Here?" "Are you crazy?" "Anita!" "Moment!" "Anita." "Pull yourself out of the centre." "And hold your tension." "You don't keep your tension." "Moment." "Pull yourself out from the sternum." "And don't forget your compré." "Well?" "I'm sorry, I had an accident." " Save your explanations, Lilli." "From now on you can sleep, celebrate and smoke as much as you want." "Anita will play "Alice"." " What?" "If you want to talk about it you can come to my office tonight." "Now we're rehearsing, please don't disturb us." "Thank you." "How beautiful to be above the roofs like this." "Can't you imagine to live in a place like this?" "Quite little, isn't it?" "What, seriously?" " Perhaps, yes." "You want to move?" " No, it's just an idea." "Don't you think that we had enough excitement lately?" "I think it's nice here." "And to be in the city would be good change." "Cinemas, cafes, theaters..." "You want to move now?" "Here?" "Did you forget what a stress it is, such a move?" "Thomas, you mean that seriously, right?" "How long shall Alexander's room be untouched yet?" " What?" "Do you believe I don't notice how you constantly sit in Alex' room?" "Staring at the wall?" " So what?" "I want you to think about it." " I don't want to think about it." "I don't want to move either." "What's happening now?" "Has Sandra separated from you?" "If you'd show me just one time, that we still mean something to you..." "It has to happen something, Eliane." " I don't want." "Everything is ok." "Nothing is ok." " Yes, everything wonderful." "No." "Leave me alone!" " Talk to me." "Keep your hands off me, you..." "What?" "Come on, spit it out!" "Say it!" " Stop it." "Stop it!" "I can't stand it any more." " Stop it!" "Stop what?" "With this fucking pressure." "You put all people under pressure." "You put him under pressure and made him mad, with your pressure." "What I really like is the dialogue of the materials." "The concrete on one hand, the nature on the other: wood, moss, bones." "It shows me that nature always finds its way, when we don't fight it." " Great, how the structure surfaces." "And you've done them all last year?" " All last year." "She has very red hands." "Maybe she has to work hard." " Nice to see you made it." "Where's he now, the artist friend?" " Over there." "The one with the leather jacket." "Looks good, right?" "Well, if you like Mediterranean types, yes." "He'll soon go down again anyway." "What number is this glass?" "Honestly, I've a keen sense for such." "I've practiced myself." "Shall I introduce you?" "He's got a job here." " No, thank you." "I think I can't stand him anyway." " Lilli, we are leaving." "I must go." "When I can I have a look at our picture?" " Soon." "I'll be in touch, ok?" "Hello, Aldo?" "It's me." "I wanted to ask if we can meet tonight?" "I'm done here by 5." "Give me a call." "I love you." ""Dear Aldo, I'm sitting here in the chemistry seminar and listen... to this talk about nuclear acids." "Actually, I think of you... "" "What are you doing?" " I've looked around a little." "Do you read my letters?" " I've just browsed in the sketchbook." "You read my letters!" " It fall out of the book." "You're wearing my shirt also." "What's this?" " Aldo, I didn't want..." "I wanted to see what you're working on." "The letter fell out of the book." "I wanted to..." " Take off my shirt!" "Aldo." "Take it off!" "How dare you read my letters?" "That's none of your shit." "I know that." "I didn't want..." "It won't happen again." "Ok?" "You can bet your life on it." "You know what?" "I don't think it's going very well." "What?" " "What?" Our relationship!" "You're asking too much." "You want to be with me all the time, always." "I can't even take a piss alone." "And if I do, you sniff around here." "I'm really sorry, with the book." "I don't know what got into me." "I want to explore every angle of you." " Could it be that I don't want that?" "I want you to belong only to me." " I don't want to be owned by anyone!" "Forgive me." "It'll never happen again." "I won't do it again, I promise." "Want to be fucked now?" "Get on your clothes." "Where're you going?" "To work." " Can I come along?" "Lilli, I'm going to work." "Please, I won't disturb you." "I'll sit somewhere and learn." "Come on!" "Come on, now." " I can't find the other shoe." "Gee!" "Here!" "I'll just brush my teeth very quickly." " What?" "You can do that at home." "Aldo." "Hello, Aldo?" "It's me again." "Now talk to me at least." "Please." "I don't know what I did wrong." "Call me, well, I'm home." "Most of the children go barefoot." "Hi, this is Aldo, please leave a message after the beep." "Well, what was the lady?" "Pink panties." "Aldo?" " Hello and good afternoon." "Your number was picked from 10,000 participants." "You have the opportunity to win a trip worth 7000..." " Shit." "Fuck you!" "You dirty, stupid, cowardly asshole!" "Yes?" " Lilli?" "It's me, Max." "I need your help." "I'm stuck." "Can you come here?" "Lilli?" "Are you still there?" "Now?" " Yes, if it's ok?" "You want a beer?" "Maybe a towel?" " Well, thank you." "You're smoking?" " Yes." "You want one?" "Yes." "Thank you." "You're alright?" "So so." "Do you sleep enough?" " No." "Too many parties?" "So, why don't you sleep enough?" "Because of this Fernando, painter-type, or what?" "Aldo, Max." "His name is Aldo." "What a stupid name." " Didn't you say, you need my help?" "What's up?" "Yeah, right." "I've got a problem with one picture." "I want you to look at it." "Let's go over?" "I noticed that among the images I got from your mother, there's hardly one where you touch each other or so." "I was looking for it, because I want to know, how such a touch could look." "Here, that's it." "Yeah, that's good." " Do you like it?" "I don't know what to say." "Do you think your mother will like it?" "Definitely." "Perhaps a bit too dark." "And he doesn't smile." "I'm not sure if she likes that." "But otherwise." "Aren't you satisfied?" " Dunno, his ever-present grin... disturbs me somehow." " I understand." "It's ok." "Yeah?" "But something isn't right." "What's wrong?" " I don't know." "How does that feel?" "Does your brother feel right for you?" "I don't know." " Say it now!" "I find the picture creepy." "Creepy?" " Yes, do I look like this?" "So cold?" "It looks as if he wants something from me and I don't even notice it." "It's me." "I've no expertise." " But I wanted to know it." "I feel like this lately." "He's haunting me somehow." "Sometimes I wake up at night and think he's standing next to my bed or he's in the room." "Well, not the real Alexander, but a feeling of someone in the room." "It feels terrible." "As if he had opened a door and I can't shut it again." "Like such a door in a plane where parachutists jump out." "The door is open and attracts me to jump too." "I could do it." "It's easy." "It's a matter of a few seconds." "That's what I mean when I say, that he's haunting me, or... pulls or pushes, or so." "This man has been dead for three years." "Did he also commit suicide?" " No, he didn't." "Yes, sort of." "He played with drugs, some harder stuff." "I always want finish him." "But somehow it's not right yet." "I was really besotted with that man." "Usually I'm rather someone who's a little bit off, like an observer or spectator." "And he really involved me with life." "Home run." "Every moment with him was life, rich, and above all unpredictable." "What was the problem?" " The problem was, I was married." "You were married?" " I've even had a family." "A wife and a son." "I still have the son." "He's 18 now." "At the same time the man was too much." "Too intense, too crazy." "His death was a relief to me." "The people are dead, Lilli." "His name was Erik Alexander." "They can't pull or push anymore, because they are dead." "Look, how I see you." "There, that's you!" "You're strong and resolute." "Crap, strong." "Of course I am strong." "But that's not what it is about." "That's not the point." "But maybe someone could ask how I feel." "Perhaps someone can get interested in how it's going with me!" "How it's really going with me!" "Oh, I'm so tired." "Can I sleep here?" "I must sleep now." "My bathrobe!" " Have you been swimming?" "Yes." "Are you ok again?" " Where does this come from?" "That was in the stack from your mother." " I don't know it at all." "I think it's good." "I noticed it." "I think it looks, as if he was in love in the picture." "In the one who photographed him." "True, somehow pleased." "Strange feeling, to see a photo of Alex, that I don't know." "It reminds me somehow that he also had a life without us." "Have you had breakfast?" "I've got smoked eel inside." "I don't want eel." "Oh, right." "Dancers use to chain smoke for breakfast." "And then eat lettuce leaves, right?" "Sorry, we're closing now." "Hello!" "I didn't even hear you." " I've shouted hello." "You look good." "Bit pale." "May I take the coat?" "It's here in the garden, right?" "Hmm, Alexander always wanted to hold your hand." "He was very affectionate." "It was quite annoying for you." "How rude of me." " You were always a little cold." "Want some tea?" "It's cold today, autumn's coming." "Still a quarter of an hour." "Everything all right with you?" " Yes, to some extent." "Do you have a friend at the moment?" " No, not anymore." "Wasn't there a guy, this sculptor?" "It didn't work." "What's going on?" " I've something in the shoe." "Mommy!" "I don't understand it." "It's not the picture that I've ordered." "No, the one you ordered, didn't feel right." "Didn't feel right?" "Why did you do that?" "It's better that way." "Alexander threatened Lilli." "Threatened?" "What a nonsense." "That's her brother!" "Happy children!" "I think it has something." "I've no expertise about painting, but Lilli is made beautiful." "She looks so tender." "Where's your bathroom, please?" " Out the door and then left, please." "It is this photo, right?" " Which Photo?" "This one." "Oh, the one from the boarding school." " What?" "Yes, I got it from a classmate, Johannes, when I got Alex's stuff." "Are you sure?" " Yes, definitely." "I think we have to go now." "Andi is waiting." "Thank you." "I'm out." "We are going to my aunt's birthday." "You deliver it at our home?" " Yes." "Thank you." "Lilli?" "I'll be right there!" "I like it very much." "It looks as if we're smiling at each other in a mirror." "Thank you." "The guy must be retarded." "It looks totally stupid." "I don't want a picture, I want Alex!" " But he scored very good with Lilli." "That alone is worth the money." "You like it too, don't you?" "No wonder!" " I mean, I should try that:" ""Oh, you wanted a red wall?" "Well, I've just painted it yellow." "Yellow is also quite beautiful." "Red didn't feel right, you know. "" "20,000 Euro!" "I'd be fired immediately." " He's an artist, not a decorator, Wanda." "Awesome, an artist." " I like it." "Now you like it." "First a huge rebellion, that you shall go there." "And since I don't like it, you like it!" " What do you mean now again?" "If you don't like it, I'll take it with me." " With you?" "Where to?" "Well, I'll hang it up in my room." "Hello." "Sara!" " Hello, Lilli!" "Hello, little Indian." "Uncle Thomas!" "Well, you're fine?" "Next week it's a year, huh?" " Ow!" "Have you cut yourself?" "Badly?" " No, it's nothing." "Thank you." "And how does that feel?" "It'll be ok, I think." "And the two over there?" "Do you think, they'd grieve like that for me too?" "Lilli!" "Can this idiot stay with you?" "He doesn't let me paint my picture." "Come here, sweetheart." "You'll stay a bit with us, will you?" "Lilli, come here, I want to show you something!" "Look, I've painted that for you." " Thank you." "That's us eating today." "That's Grandpa and Alex." "They are waving at us." "Let me in." "Let me in." "Mom said I may play with you." "I'm going to cut you into pieces with my magic sword." "And fry you." "Or put you on the stove." "Or I can also cut your ears off." "Now look what you did." "Are you crying now?" "I want my brother back." " You can take me as a brother." "I think we haven't changed anything here since Sarah's birth." "The sofa, for example, is really ready to be thrown out." "Maybe you can have it upholstered." "With the baby everything starts all over again." "I don't know why you need to change something." "It's all good." "I will spend most the coming months on the couch again." "Enjoy it." "I can get the fabric." "What would you like?" " No idea." "Paul, why aren't you going upstairs?" "Both of you!" "But you call, when it's icecream." " No." "Dad, you'll call us!" " Yes, sure." "Let the filling be." " No, it tastes good." "A warm yellow maybe." "That's not very non-sensitive." "True, yellow would be very nice." " I thought you were leaving?" "So what?" " Lilli, how's it going with "Alice"?" "I imagine it's exhausting to dance such a leading part." "I don't play the lead anymore." "I'm fired." "Really?" " I knew it." "I'll call her and undo it." "You have a depression." "No, you don't do it." "I don't want to dance "Alice" anymore." "Musical is nothing for me." " Wow, two years for nothing." "You don't mean that?" " She'll dance her first leading role... just next year." "You are behaving..." " Mind your own business." "I don't want to dance anymore." "I just want to sing, I like it." "What do you think how many girls have a very nice voice?" "Are you doing this education only to sing commercial jingles afterwards?" "Ask me why, Dad." " Do you think I don't know it?" "Stop whining, Lilli." "Do you want Alex's death to ruin your life too?" "Sometimes I feel I've not only lost my brother." "Your father's right, and you know it." "Exactly, you are in agreement." "Even if you otherwise don't agree." "But here you are once again a hard-hitting concrete wall." "Awesome." "Max?" "Ah, Lilli, again?" " What are you doing here?" "I try out something." "You can help me." "Look at this." "You push the trigger here." " And what happens then?" "Prush it until I say "now"." "And then you turn on the lamp here." "Yes?" "But remain on the trigger." " Ok." "Yes." " Right?" "Yes, good!" "And now..." "Lamp." "And out!" "Well!" "It needed to be now." "That interests me." "Picasso played also with light." "Looks really great." "What a nightmare." "What, that picture?" " No, the picture is good." "But it's supposed to actually please your mother." " Yes." "Now I like it." " Well, that's fine too." "There, that's it." "That's what I mean." "Have you seen it?" "Beautiful how he's moving." "Our runner!" "Or?" "He loved snow." "He always freaked out about the first flakes." "Left everything and and ran outside." "You loved him very much, right?" "I didn't always love him." "Everything he did was so perfect." "I hated that." "I thought Alex is never sad." "He has no reason." "He has no real problem." "I'm such an asshole." "Show me how to dance." "Honestly, I can't." "And now?" " You must guide me, you're the man." "You gotta show what you want." "But it isn't much." "Good!" "Say now:" "I, Max Hollander, am gay." "Real gay." "That seems to fascinate you?" "Well, yes." "Say it again." "Right now I find it quite difficult." "I must go." "We'll meet soon, ok?" "Are you awake?" " No." "I want to visit Alexander's boarding school." "I must find out something." " Good luck." "Are you coming?" "Please." "No." " Great." "I'll pick you up by 10." "Hello, Johannes." " Hey." "Sorry, I had to get this stuff." " Nice that it worked." "This is Max, a friend." " Hello." "You have test soon, right?" " I'll wait outside." "I'm hungry." "Do you want anything?" " Yes, I'd take a coffee." "Alex has told a lot about you." " Really?" "Yep." "Now it's a year ago but it doesn't get any better." "I can imagine." " A coffee, please." "You took the picture, right?" "Max has painted a picture of Alex and me." "He used this photo, because the expression in Alex's face." "He thinks Alex looks as if he's in love." "I agree somehow, what do you think?" "It's something in the eyes." "My father told me that you took the picture." "I thought that if Alex was gay and didn't dare, right?" "My parents would freak out." "Perhaps it could be the reason and..." "Sorry." "It's totally stupid." "You need to go?" " No, I've still a moment." "I'd love to provide a solution." "But Alex and I, we shared a room, nothing more." "And Alex had nothing with guys I don't think so." "He was just madly closed." "I mean, he was cheerful." "Always cool sayings and such." "And there was nobody having anything against him." "But actually nobody knew much about him." "He was for people exactly how they wanted him." "Always stay cool, you know?" "Maybe he was a bit alone." "Sorry." "I mean that I had nothing going on with your brother." "But I remember very well that night, when I took the picture." "We hung around, smoked, drank tequila or something." "It was already 2:00 or so." "I played with my camera, and we talked about our homes." "I told about my parents, and he about you." "Exactly, that's the expression in his face." "He talked about you." "Here you go." " Thank you." "I've fucked it up..." " Great, just put the gas station on fire." "Yes." "Don't take yourself so important." "Maybe it wasn't even about you." "Then we all screwed it up together." "You must stop looking for a reason 'cause there's probably more than just one." "And you must stop to be mad at him." " Mad?" "I'm not mad!" "Yes, because he makes you feel guilty." "I know that, believe me." "I know it pretty well." "Come on, let's continue." "What will happen to me?" "What do you want from me?" "Who I am, am I me?" "How strange?" "Leave me, go away." "Help!" "We'll get you, chase you through the dirt, we'll grab you..." "It's me, Lilli." "I've been thinking about the coat." "You wanted to go shopping with me." "Oh, forget that fucking coat, Mom." "Actually..." "I just wanted to say it will good again." "Yes?" "It will be good again." "Good night." "It's me Lilli." "I've been thinking about the coat." "You know already, what do you'll do next?" "Look to the right." "No idea." "I probably need to get out here." "Find faces, people in the streets..." " Sounds good." "Well, this picture is at least ready now." "I must go." "I have an appointment." "Oh wait, again." "I've got a little thing for you." "I want to give it to you." "Look here." "Well, it was an attempt." "Isn't all that bad, right?" "Thank you." "Let me see." "I'll miss you." " Yes, yes, I understand." "About a year ago we've lost Alexander." "He took his own life." "We still don't know why." "And who are they now?" " The children of my customer." "This is Lilli." "She's studying singing and dancing in Munich." " Singing and dancing." "You can study it?" "And the mother wanted a beautiful paintings of her two beautiful children?" "That's right." "I love these rich people." "What would we do without them?" "Who is it?" "My father." "Hey, Stella, are you coming?" "Hi." " Hello, Tobi." "Happy birthday." "Thank you." "How was Spain?" "Salamanca?" "Cool." "I want to give you this." "Thank you." "Is that your girlfriend?" " Yes." "What's her name?" " Stella." "Stella." "Pretty." "Yes, well, then." "Thank you for the picture." "Well, maybe you have it inside.." "Maybe it's snowing tonight." " Ok." "Ciao, Dad." "Well, take care." "Bye, Mr. Hollander!" "Goodbye, Stella." "Could you take care of the picture?" "I don't want it gets wet, ok?" " Will do!" "What are you doing?" " I couldn't sleep." "So I thought I could as well start." " It's only in two weeks." "Everything shall be beautiful when she's coming." "Want one?" " Why not." "Have you already told her?" " What?" "That you move out." "No." "I'll do it when she's here." "We had also good times together, right?" "Absolutely!" "Alex!" "We stop that nonsense now!" "It's enough!" "Ok, ok, apologies accepted." "English subtitles:" "A Huge Animal From The North"