"So I've done a list of all your patients for this morning, and my mobile number, if you need me just call I'll be here quicker than..." "Yes, I'm sure I can manage for a few hours without you, thank you." " So..." " What?" "Doc, how do you feel?" "Fine." "No. ln a "Considering what day it is", any last words before you face the firing squad?" "No." "Shouldn't have made an appointment, it's a bother for you." " No it isn't." " lt was just a little bit of blood." " Hardly worth mentioning." " Blood in urine is worth mentioning." "Perhaps I should come back." "Take off your trousers and lie down." "I didn't even know you were home today." "Today of all days." "My wedding is this afternoon, this is morning." "Take off your trousers and lie down." "Definitely not how I'd want to spend my wedding day." " l'm getting married." " l know." " l'm getting married." " You having a freak out?" "No. lt's just..." " ..." "I'm getting married." " To a doctor. I'm so jealous." "We used to talk about what kind of bloke we'd marry when we were kids." " You always plumped for doctor." " No, I didn't." " Did I?" " And now your fairy tale has come true." "Prince Charming with his stethoscope." "I'm not marrying Martin because of his job." "This little one's daddy worked as a city planner." "No where near as good as a doctor." "City planner." "Couldn't even plan on hanging around for the birth." "You shouldn't have come all this way in your condition." "I'm fine. I'm not ready to pop yet." "Besides, it's 40 odd miles, it's not far." "And I couldn't miss your wedding." "You're so lucky." "Yeah, everyone is so jealous." "The doc is such a catch." "I can't wait to meet him." "What's he like?" "Well, he's straightforward, he's moral." "He's..." "Martin." "Oh." "Well, he sounds fantastic." "Hymns, Dr Ellingham." "I asked you for a list of which ones you wanted played, you haven't complied." "But, I don't think we're having any hymns." "Well, you perhaps don't hold much stead with tradition, but I imagine Miss Glasson does." "Getting married isn't a case of being in and out as fast as possible." "It's an important spiritual occasion" " where both parties..." " Your hand's trembling." " What do you mean?" " Your hand since you came in, tremors." " Maybe I should examine you." " Don't change the subject." "Hymns, Dr Ellingham." "What?" "I had a drink earlier today with the parishioner." " lt's not against the law." " l didn't say that it was." "If you're experiencing tremors, though, I think I'd better examine you." "I'm not going to sit here and be accused!" " l'm not accusing you of anything." " Out of my way, please!" "Oh." " l should take a look at that." " You stay away from me." "That was an accident." "Look at that, boy." "Not bad for a day's work, eh?" "Not bad for three day's work." "What'd I tell you?" "Who needs Mick Mabley?" "Elbow grease, couple of cookbooks, Jamie Oliver's got nothing on us." "So when people hear the words, "Wedding reception", who will they think of?" "Large and Large Restaurant." "Yeah." "And not even the doc can complain about this one." "Oy!" "Haven't finished yet, boy." "Make a start on those dishes, will you?" "Yeah, not sure dishwasher is part of my job remit as manager, is it?" " Uh, Dad." " What?" "What's up?" "Pass me that spanner, will you?" "It's just there." "Ta." "I've got it, I've got it, I've got it!" " Sorry." " lt's gone?" "That was a bit weird, wasn't it?" " What's that?" " lt's just the pipes settling." "That's all." "No." "Oh, dear." "That's not good, is it, boy?" " Let's take a look." " Dad, I wouldn't." "It's all right. lt's all right." "Hang on." "Oh, God!" "Oh, how lovely." "Someone's got a fountain." "Wish I had a fountain." "I really appreciate you doing this, Roger." " Ah, it's my pleasure." " How are the twins?" "Bloody marvellous." "Twice the mess, but twice the joy." "Glad some people understand what it means to be a responsible father." "Yes, well, it's, uh, more of a lesson learned over time." "Roger Fenn, father of the bride." "Well, uh, the stand-in father of the bride." " Isobel Brown, fat bridesmaid." " You're not fat, you're pregnant." " lt's the same thing." " Are you OK?" "Just the stuffed mushrooms, give me indigestion." "Why?" "Those are a family recipe." "Never caused no one indigestion before." "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insult you." "You pay no attention to me." "Oh, I bought you these." "Party poppers!" "Get the party off with a bang, as it were." "That is so sweet of you." "Come on, let's all get into the party spirit." "Yes!" "A toast to true love, as they say, travels on a gravel road." "It's not the journey that's important, it's the destination that matters." "That's, um, that's very nice." "Thanks." " A one, two..." " Three!" "Oh, my eye!" "Oh, God, Isobel!" "Let me see." "Oh." "I can recommend a daily regime of cardiovascular exercise along with some testosterone treatment." "But your condition is, um it's genetic." "And there's such, um..." "Excuse me, I don't have a receptionist." "What?" " Martin, it's me, Louisa." " Yes, hello." "Hello." "My, uh, my bridesmaid, Isobel, has just shot herself in the eye with a party popper." " She's done what?" " A party popper." "You know, it's got streamers, makes a loud bang at parties." "Anyway, it went right in her eye, and she's in a lot of pain." "She could have ruptured her interior chamber, she needs to see me." "Apply a cold compress without putting pressure on the eye." "OK, yeah, will do." " And how are you?" " With a patient." "Right." "Yep." "See you later." "Yes, I, um look forward to it." "Bye." "Sorry about that." " What was I saying?" " You were saying it's genetic." "Right, yes." "Klinefelter's syndrome." "There's no cure for it." "You can't change it." "The main thing is to learn how to live with it." " What if I can't do that?" " l'm afraid there's no choice." "There's always a choice, doc." "It depends on how miserable you want the rest of your life to be." "Oh." "It's a bit depressing." "Yes, I suppose it is." "Hmm." "Take a seat on the edge of the bed." " All right, open your eye." " l'm very excited to meet you." "I need you to keep your head still." "So what did you think when you first met Louisa?" "Was it love at first sight?" " Mrs Brown." " Miss." "When you talk, your head moves." "Do you mind?" "Sorry." "Right." "So did you know that she liked you?" "Did you come here for an examination or a chat?" "No?" "Then please." "Thank you." "Hmm." "You're lucky." "Damage is minimal." "I'll give you some drops for the pain." "I recommend you wear an eye patch." "No, I can't wear an eye patch." "I'm a bridesmaid." "Would you rather it got infected and you lost the use of it?" " No." " All right then." "Use the drops for 24 hours only." "Any longer and it delays healing." "Repeated use could damage your cornea." "OK." "I take it you're having regular checkups with your GP for your condition?" " Uh, my condition?" " You're aware that you're pregnant?" "Oh!" "Of course." " How far gone are you?" " lt's 35 weeks and counting." "I'm gonna have natural birth, none of those icky drugs or anything." "God forbid you should use icky drugs when you can experience the excruciating agony of childbirth in the raw." "You know, you're not quite how I imagined you." "Thank you." "I shall see you at the church then." "As long as I don't damage the other eye." "Quite." "Everything all right?" "Uh, would you be fine to make your own way back to Louisa's?" "I want a quick word with Martin." "Oh, yes, yes. I'll be fine." "Don't you worry about me." "Look, um..." "It's, uh probably late in the day to be asking you this, and I don't want to seem like a killjoy, but, uh you are sure about this, aren't you?" "What do you mean?" "People in this village are surprised this is happening." "People in this village are related to one another, doesn't mean we listen." "No, but I care about Louisa, and I care about..." "Don't say you care about me, you'll embarrass us both." "I just want to make sure you really understand what you're doing." "In sickness and health, better or worse." " Yes, of course I do." " OK." "Just had to check, you know." "I am giving her away, in loco parentis and all that." "I have to ask." "If you do want to make yourself helpful, you can help me choose these hymns." "Right, well, uh, what sort of thing were you after?" "No idea. I haven't looked at a hymn book since school." "OK, uh, let's see." "Before the vows are exchanged, Praise, My Soul, the King of Heaven." " All right." " And, afterwards," "Love Divine, All Love's Excelling." "Love divine All love's excelling" " Joy of..." " Yeah, OK." " You get the general idea." " Yep." " One more thing." " Hmm?" "Good luck, mate." "Bad news." "The Council can't send anyone to repair the water pipes till tomorrow." "By tomorrow?" "We'll need a boat to get in the kitchen by then, boy." " What's the good news?" " Uh..." "No, this isn't a good news-bad news thing, it's all bad." "Great." "That should just about hold her now." "We can't have the reception here, can we?" " lt could go again." " Look at it." "I mean, the whole thing's a disaster, isn't it?" "Unless..." "You still got that mate that does the carnivals?" "What?" "You thinking about a marquee?" "I see what you're thinking, boy." "I mean, it could work, might work." "It's just..." "Have you any idea how much those things cost?" "And then pay someone to put it up." "We'd do that, don't we?" "That can't be too hard, can it?" "As for the cost, well..." "it's the doc's wedding." "Think of the publicity, Dad." "The whole village will be able to see what we can do." ""Large and Large For every occasion"." "It's a good idea, boy." ""Large Restaurant turns wedding disaster into a perfect romance"." " Mmm." " Not a dry eye in the house." "Nothing says romance like a 20 foot high circus tent." "I'll make the call." "Gotcha!" "Sorry about that." "Usually we try to keep the takedown away from city streets." " Oh, of course you do." " Hello, doc." "Charlie Briggs, we met the other week." "Briggs Bouquets." "I'm doing your wedding flowers." "You won't be doing anything for awhile, sunshine." "Caught him trying to steal a bike." "Not so fast on two legs, are you?" "I was going to finish it this morning, you would've loved it." "Nice selection." " Very contemporary." " Save your sob story for the judge." " Who's that?" " lt's Briggs, the florist." " That could be a problem." " Very big problem." "A wedding without flowers is bad luck." " Thanks, Auntie Joan." " Well, I'll do my best to sort it out." " How are you?" " Fine." " Marty?" "You've got a twitch," " What?" "Like when you were little and didn't want me to know that you wet the bed." "There's been a misunderstanding with the vicar." " What've you done?" " Nothing. lt'll be fine." "Yes, well do." "Can't have a wedding without a vicar." "Well, technically, you can." "Oh, I've come for my suit." "Oh, I've got it ready for you, doc." " What's wrong with your leg?" " Been off since I woke up." "Probably slept on it funny." "If it gets worse, come and see me." " Not this afternoon, though?" " No." "That church has got a lot of memories." "Me and the missus got married there." " Hmm." " Beautiful sunny day." " The weather itself was blessing us." " Yes, my suit, please?" "After the sun comes rain, pretty soon she's criticising everything I do." "Trying to change me." "Told her, I said," ""You knew what I was like before we got married." "Bit late to change your mind"." "Next thing I know, we're staring at each other across divorce court, bitch got everything." "Apart from the shop." " l have to sleep behind the bloody..." " My suit, please?" "Thank you." "Still, it's a great place to get married, though, isn't it?" "I want to speak to someone you have in custody." "No can do, Mrs Norton." "This is a police station not a hotel." "But I understand you have apprehended the florist." "That's right." "What about flowers for the wedding?" "Well, I think the safety of the community comes first." "And I think the community has been remarkably understanding about your quirky ways and your unusual methods." "And I think you should learn to be more flexible." " l am flexible." " No, you're not." "If you were, you'd be more helpful." "You'd get the key to the shop off him." " l can't. I've shipped him off." " Oh, God." "We don't have the facilities here for holding perps." "You don't think, um, Martin will you know, hold me responsible?" "It's his wedding day, and thanks to you all the flowers for his wedding are locked up in a shop." "No, no. I'm sure he won't feel you're responsible." "He was very rude to me." "It's not rudeness, it's just the way he is, especially with work." "Count yourself lucky that he had time to see you, Isobel." "I suppose my eye does feel a little better." "And he was very professional." "I suppose he's different away from that stuffy Surgery." " Oh, yeah, he's a total riot." " You know what?" "He could be the godfather." "Oh, you two'd make perfect godparents." "Well... yeah, we could certainly ask him." "Besides, this little one's real daddy isn't going to be around." "Martin's obviously important to you." "It would mean a lot, Lou Lou, it really would." "Look, I think it'd be easier if you did this yourself." "Can you manage that?" "Yep." "We just dropped by to say there's been a bit of a change of venue," " for the reception." " What do you mean?" "Don't worry." "If anything, this is gonna be better." " Yeah." " l do worry." "Wasn't sold on the idea in the first place." "You came begging and promised you wouldn't muck it up." "Well, so much for that!" "Right." "So where's it gonna be now, then?" "A leaky cow shed or an abandoned coal mine?" "Actually, it's a marquee." "And it's right next to the church." "Oh." "Oh." "Well, that doesn't sound too bad, actually." "Sorry." "Sorry, I'm just a bit stressed." "Bride" " All dressed..." " Mrs Tishell." "Oh, doc!" "I didn't know you were here." "I was just getting in a bit of practise, flexing the old fingers." " l didn't know you played." " Oh, every Sunday." "Come rain or shine." "Oh, I suppose there's a lot we don't know about each other." "Sorry." "And it's... it's funny that, isn't it?" "See each other every day, passing." "Like ships in the night." "I'm looking for Reverend Counter." "You're not having doubts are you?" "Second thoughts?" " The bachelor life..." " Where is he?" "All right, of course, doc, he's in his office." "Oh, thank you." "But, doc he's in one of his dark moods." "Good afternoon." "I, uh, I brought that list of hymns that you wanted." "How's your head?" "Not too much bruising, that's good." "All right. I'll see you this afternoon." "Give it to me." "No." "Drinking alone and in the daytime are symptoms of alcoholism." "Judging by the redness of your palms I'd say you've already done significant damage to your liver." "May I remind you, in under three hours you are due to preside over my wedding!" " You can't take it!" " Just give it to me!" " How dare you?" "!" " Give it to me, come on." " lt's just a bottle." " l'm not getting married in a... lt is my bottle!" " Does it hurt?" " Course it hurts, you idiot!" "Here?" "Ooh!" "I think you might have fractured your hip." "Get me an ambulance, then." "What?" "!" "Maybe it's not as bad as it seems." "Why don't you try to get up?" "Oh, please!" " Please, don't!" "God, oh, God!" " Bugger." "Louisa sent me to make sure preparations for the church were going OK." "If you don't have a vicar, you can't get married, can you?" "I mean, you need a bride, a groom, a man in black." " Shut up." " l'm just saying." "Which part of "shut up" are you having difficulty with?" "Fine. I was going to mention Mr Porter, but you're so clever you know about him." " All right, who's Mr Porter?" " He used to be a vicar." "Very well liked and respected until one day he flipped out in the middle of a wedding service." "Since then he's been holed up on the moors." "Too much to ask for him to lead a normal, healthy life?" "No, he's not crazy." "He just hates weddings." "And people." "He might hate people, too." "Mrs Norton, does Mr Porter still live up at the old farmhouse?" " Martin!" "Martin, what have you done?" " l haven't done anything." " He hobbled the vicar." " He suffered an injury" " a hip fracture of his femur." " Hobbled the vicar." "I haven't." "You're due to get married in two hours." "We've lost the vicar, I can't find any flowers. lt's going to be a disaster!" "Stating the obvious is really helpful." "I'm going to find this Mr Parsons." " Porter." " Porter!" " Always has to do things the hard way." " Yeah, he's not the only one." "You get this stuff off the roof, then we can peg the ground sheet." " Mrs Norton?" " The flowers are there!" "Sitting on the counter!" "This is a disaster." "Not my primary concern." "No." "That'd be the youth of today." "Especially with the vandalism they're doing." "Only today you saw a group of hoodies running away from the florist whooping and yelling." " Disgusting." " What on earth are you babbling about?" "Vandalism, Mrs Norton." "Senseless vandalism." "Now... if you'll excuse me, I have to go and write up your statement." "What with their hoods up, there's no way you could make a positive id, is there?" "Be a real shame if they stole some order that was waiting to be collected." "Thank you." " Change into your dress." " lt's only five to one." "That's over two hours." "If I were getting married, I'd wear my wedding dress all day long." "You're not getting married, are you?" " Mrs Tishell." " Wanted to check that everything's OK?" "Everything's fine, thank you." "Oh." "Oh, good." "'Cause I was worried." "Thought it might mean the wedding would be... postponed?" " No." "What would be?" " The vicar." "Oh." "Doctor Ellingham didn't tell you?" " Hello?" " What's happened to the vicar?" " Uh..." " l want an answer." " Uh, he, uh, fractured his hip." " When were you planning on telling me?" "When I arrived at the church and found there's no one to marry us?" "Don't worry, I have the situation under control." "Martin, is there something else behind this?" "What do you mean?" "Well, you know how they say people can subconsciously ruin things." "The vicar was drunk!" "It's not my fault." "Look, Louisa, trust me." " Everything will be fine." " Sure?" "Yes. I'll call you later." "Bye-bye." "Got any ice?" " What?" " Ice." "Crushed, cubed?" " Not fussy." " No." "It was a long shot at best, I suppose." "I understand that you have the power to marry people." "And I have a problem." "Please, this is..." "It's very important." "I need to get married this afternoon!" "Hello?" "I'm willing to pay whatever!" "Look, if you could just give me a minute of your time, I'm Dr Ellingham from Portwenn and..." "Ahh!" "Did you say doctor?" " Yes." " That changes everything." "Come in." " Come in." " Thank you." "And wipe your feet!" "So how come our cheery local vicar can't marry you, eh?" " He's indisposed." " Right." "Was it the bottle?" "I'm sorry, I can't discuss a patient with you." "In other words, yes." "It happens." "Almost felt that way myself." "Almost." "But now I have other interests to keep me on the straight and narrow." " Pigs?" " Yes." "Fascinating creatures, really." "Quite misrepresented in my opinion, although you only need to look at various facets" " of ancient cultures to realise..." " l have to get married this afternoon." "I'm sure discussing the lifestyle of pigs would be a way to pass the time..." "Don't do that!" " What?" " You know fine well." "The superior act." "Sit down." "You're here because you need me to marry you." "Be prudent of you to at least pretend to be humble." "Want to guess how many I've married?" " Six hundred?" " Really?" "Oh, that's a lot." "So many times I knew they weren't suited, that I was just sending them further down the road to unhappiness." "Do you think they listened to me?" "I only came here to find out whether you'd preside over my wedding." "I haven't got time to sit like a fool while you catalogue your achievements." "You've certainly got a bit of spit and vinegar in there." "Yes!" "I will preside over your wedding." " All right." " But I need you to do something for me first." " That's a pig." " Obviously." "I'm not a vet." "And I'm not an idiot." "Unfortunately, there is no vet in Portwenn." "The nearest one won't speak to me." "He blames me for not stopping him marrying his third wife." "I'm not the judge." "I'm just the executioner." " But what can you do?" " l cannot examine that animal." "I'm not asking you to slice her open and perform surgery." "Just... check round the back." "I'm sorry." "No." "She's in pain." "I just need a medical opinion." "Or perhaps you think you're too important for this kind of work?" "Or maybe getting married doesn't mean that much to you." "Oh, come on." "I'll keep her happy in the front in case she takes offence to what you're doing." "There's a slight rectal prolapse." "In English." "Means that she's pushed out part of the lining of her anus." " Ouch." " Yes." "So... can't you just push it back in again?" "Look, I've looked, that's all you asked." "I believe you said, "Willing to pay... whatever"." "Well, Dr Ellingham, this is the "whatever" part of the bargain." "Do you have any Vaseline or K-Y Jelly?" "You won't want to live in The Surgery, it's too small." "Plus, it smells funny sometimes." "It does have a lovely view of the water." "That kitchen's great for dinner parties." "The doctor regaling everyone about tales of medical school." "We are talking about the same person here, right?" "I will concede, he might want a bigger place for kids." "What kids?" "I imagine they're planning on having a family." " He'll be a wonderful father." " Love that warm, caring side." "Oh, just shut up, will you?" "!" "All day running Martin down." " Like he's some kind ofjoke!" " l didn't mean to... I know exactly what you mean." "Everyone has a snide comment or pithy advice or complaints about what kind of day they're having." "And for once, it's not about any of you." "It's about Martin and me." "I need some air." " l'll get my coat." " Don't!" "Tell me what's the most important question you should ask before getting married?" "I have my finger in your pig's anus." "You want me to help you." "Be an idea to humour me." "Does she make me happy?" "Oh, close." "Very close." "I would almost give you that." "Actually, got it the wrong way up." "It's, "Do I make her happy"?" "End of the day, that's all it's about." "Easy, girl." "What on earth are you doing to her?" "I'm trying to help!" "I'm trying to reinsert the lining of her rectum!" "It's done!" " Right." "Good show." "Well, I must say..." " No, you mustn't." "Three o'clock, Saint Roger's on the hill." "All right. I'll see you there." "Oh!" "Less than two hours, then." "What are you doing here?" "I said I wanted to be on my own." "I know that, but we're bezzies." " Bezzies?" " Best friends." "I have to be here for you." "Look, I don't mean to annoy you." "It's just I'm jealous." " Jealous?" " Yeah." "You've found someone who makes you happy." "And who you make happy." "Well, yes." "I've always wanted that." "Everyone I've ever been with has never been right." "Just thought, "Oh, I'll try and settle"." "But you you can't, can you?" "Just end up with two miserable people." " l'm the worst bridesmaid in the world." " No, you're not." "Yes." "You're getting married in a couple of hours, and I'm depressing the God-knows-what out of you." "No, to be honest, I'm surprised people haven't tried to talk me out of this." " Why would they do that?" " lt's a small village." "Everyone has an opinion and it did take Martin and me a while to get together." "A considerable while." "And he's not the warmest of people." "I suppose not everyone can understand what I see in him." "Ignore them." "You're the one that knows what goes on behind closed doors." "It's just the two of you." "Everyone else can just go..." "Oh!" " Isobel." " Oh, God, how embarrassing." " Tell me you haven't..." " l wet myself." "No, no, no!" "Your waters, I think they just broke!" "No." "Oh, no!" "I can't believe this is happening." "All right, OK." "OK." "Don't panic." "I'm gonna phone Martin, OK?" "Louisa." "is she having contractions?" " Right." "Well, how far apart are they?" " l don't know." "He says "How far apart are the contractions"?" " l don't know!" " She doesn't know." "Tell her to push?" "No!" "If she pushes it might come before I get there." "Don't let her push." " Tell her to pant." " Pant?" "Yes." "Like a dog." " Don't push." "Pant." " l have to push!" " Pant." " Oh!" "Louisa?" "I'll be there as soon as I can." "Yes." "Hurry." " How is she?" " Fine." " Not fine!" " Right." "So we need to..." "Martin?" "Yes!" "I can't have the baby!" "I'm a bridesmaid!" " You do know what you're doing?" " Yes." "Theoretically." " Theoretically?" " l've never delivered a baby before." " Huh?" "!" " Oh." "Mrs Brown, next contraction, I need you to push." "Very hard." " Louisa, we need to give her support." " l am!" " Physical support, to push against." " Oh." "I can't do this today because I haven't completed my birthing classes yet!" "Mrs Brown, like it or not, you're having a baby." " l can't." " You don't have much choice." "Push, Mrs Brown, push!" " l'm sorry I ruined your wedding day." " You haven't!" "The head is presenting, could you please be quiet and push?" "Boy or a girl?" "Boy or a girl?" "!" "It's a head!" "Now, on the next contraction I need you to push even harder." " You're doing really well." " Thank you." " l was talking to Isobel." " Oh." "Yes." "Uh, Mrs Brown you're very lucky that your baby is coming as fast as it is." "On the next contraction I need you to push even harder." "Do you understand?" "That's it, it's coming!" "Keep it coming!" "That's it!" "Fingers. toes..." "It's a boy!" "It's a girl!" "It's a girl." "Here you are." "Support her head." "I got it." "Care about the bumps." "Here we go." " Take loads of photos." " Yeah, I will." "And you have asked about being the godfather?" " Uh..." " Well..." "B..." "I mean, yes!" " Good luck!" "Thank you!" " Yeah." " Bye." " Bye." "Don't worry." "I'll make an excuse for you." "What for?" "You don't have to be the godfather." "Oh, yes, thank you." "All right." " Half past two." " Yes." "Better change my suit." " And I'd better..." " Your wedding dress." "Yes." "After you." "Yes, we'll see you later." " Hi there." " Any luck getting replacement flowers?" "Yes, we, uh..." "We had some unexpected help." " Hello." " How's things?" "Good." "Here we have the pièce de résistance." "Whoop!" "There." "Now, it might've cost us an arm and a leg, boy," " but we done it." " Yeah." "Hope the Doc is happy." "Don't know if he does happy, but he's not gonna shout." "We might get more catering gigs after this, a risk worth taking." "Come on." "All right, boy." "We've got 15 minutes before the big kick-off." " l hope they saved us front row seats." " Should've got some popcorn." "What do you say to the guests when they come out of the reception?" "If they like the wedding, don't forget who made it happen." "Large and Large." "This is a new start for us." "Expansion." "There's a world out there of functions, and they all need excellent caterers." "It's only one wedding." "Let's not get too carried away." "Little acorns, boy." "Little acorns." "Oh, bollocks." "Come on." "Hello." "Hello." "Bert, what are you going to do about that mess out there?" "Mrs Norton, I cannot tell a lie." "Nothing." "Absolutely nothing." "Excuse me." "He's a little upset." "We are seriously out of pocket on this wedding reception." "I imagine as upset as Martin and Louisa will be." "It's OK, I've rung the crab and lobster, gonna do sandwiches and bubbly." "So, uh, everything's sorted." "Oh, and, um..." "Well, if you ever need any plumbing, just phone." "Once more unto the breach, dear friends." " Better than nothing." " Arguably." "With only ten minutes to go, we don't have a choice." "Sorry." " Martin." " Louisa." "What are you doing here?" "What are you doing here?" "I didn't want to use the front door." "It says that I love you." "And I really do." " But..." " l know." "I wouldn't make you happy." "No." "You wouldn't make me happy, either." "Oh." "Right." "No, I don't suppose I would." "is that why you're still here, then?" " What?" " Sorry, I'm just a bit confused." "Uh, I thought if I just sat there it'd be in your best interest." "Humiliating me as I stood in the church, alone, would be in my best interest?" "You weren't going to be in the church." "Least I had the decency to write a letter." " That's not the point." " Doc!" "Oh. I'm too late. I thought I'd catch you before the big event." "There's been a mix-up in your dry cleaning." "I hope it went well. I don't suppose..." "Only you did say if it got any worse..." "I can barely walk now after hurrying up that hill." "If you don't mind, and then you two can get on with your honeymoon." "I'll leave you to it." "I wouldn't ask, today of all days, but since I'm here now you got the ceremony out of the way." "Louisa." "I know." "Me too." "See you around." "Sorry, doc, I know it's inconvenient, but it is starting to hurt really badly now." "She's not leaving you already, is she?" "I hope you've done a pre-nup, is all I can say." "Shut up." "Go and wait in the consulting room."