"If it were writ upon a page, it could revolve around this day, the day my mother came to believe that being of a certain class entitles you to die whenever you damn well please." "Don't we wish?" "See?" "I'm alive after all." "Where are the kiddies?" "They haven't arrived yet." "They should come inside." "I smell rain." "Do you think?" "It was pissing down the last time I was in Sydney." "Are you here to appear in the theatre, sir?" "That depends entirely on your definition of theatre." "Not much of a welcome back, Princess." "This is one of those good mornings when I see better." " I shall see the children." " Yes, you shall." "Oh, thank you, sir." "I'm not here." "My flight was delayed." "Understood?" "Please inform the desk." "Oh." "I'm terribly sorry, I only have French money." "Not a problem." "Fetch my make-up, would you, dear?" "Mary?" "It is my favourite Mary, isn't it?" "Yes." "I'll get your medication first." "You look like a floating lily." "I hate lilies." "Where's that day nurse?" "I want my make-up done." "She'll be here soon." "Sleeping in with that Colin boy, no doubt." "I'm right here, Mrs Hunter." "Oh." "My favourite Flora." "I wouldn't miss meeting your son for quids." "Are you ready to transform an ancient ruin of a mummy into a work of art?" "Yeah, natch." "Right." "The opening would have to be meticulously orchestrated." "A knight and a princess returning to the foreign shores of their homeland..." "Disappear." "...having achieved everything Mummy desired and designed for them." "How could they not disappoint?" "Mr Wyburd!" "Why are you coming round the back?" "Mrs Hunter would think the children had arrived if she heard the front doorbell." "I am almost out of myself to see them." "The beds I have made." "I have put the flowers." "Well, you needn't have done the flowers." "The children are not staying here." "I will never understand why Anglo-Saxons reject the womb of the family." "Perhaps they don't know the worth of the family as you do." "I know to call your son Sir Basil." "But what do I call the Princess de Las..." "Lascabanes." "I'm no good with foreign names." ""Madame" will suffice for my daughter." "Come in." "It's just me, I'm afraid." "Oh, Arnold." "I don't wish to discuss business now." "I'm afraid I have some slightly bad news." "Oh, don't tell me." "Basil is delayed." "My son knows better than anyone how to disappoint me." "Flora." "Take this damn wig off." "You should have come in." "Elizabeth said she'd love to see you." "That's what she says." "Have to work myself up to see her." "In faraway lands, it's easy to imagine the family maturing gracefully." "But one should examine one's reticence to gaze upon the face that so reminds you of your own." "Hello." "Hi." "Mother?" "Mummy?" "You're late." "Look at me." "I'm..." "I'm a mess." "Both my children late." "Hasn't Basil been?" "No, he has not." "Why are you so late?" "Sorry, Mummy." "Oh..." "There, there, pigeon." "I'll forgive you." "If you'll forgive me." "Well!" "Here." "No." "Leave it, leave it." "I let my doctor do it." "He isn't a very good doctor, but I can feel by his touch he's the kind of man I might have enjoyed as a lover." "I'll just get the chair." "Oh, here." "Her pain medication makes her mind wander off sometimes." "Oh." "Morphine moments, we call them, don't we, Flora?" "Isn't she miraculous, madam?" "We have lots of fun together." "Don't we, Mrs Hunter?" "What have you done to your hair?" "Um..." "Oh, cut it." "Darling, would you be terribly cross with me if I didn't die?" "I don't have to if I don't want to." "Unless, perhaps, by thunderbolt." "Darling, who said anything about dying?" "You think I don't know why you and Basil have flown all across the earth?" "Was it to make sure that you'd see me die or to ask for money if I did not?" "Oh, God." "Can't you allow for the possibility of human affection?" "I expect they told you I had a stroke." "In that case, you're misinformed." "Mother, you're very ill." "It was only a little stroke." "You can't say you're not ill." "Oh, stop it, Dorothy!" "You must learn to control your feelings." "Stop ruining my furniture." "I'm sorry." "I hope you didn't go around Paris kicking the furniture." "Could I speak to my mother alone?" "Of course, madam." "Oh, Mummy." "I'm sorry..." "Oh, there, there." "Oops." "I think I've had a little accident." "Oh, God!" "I'm sorry, Mummy." "No, don't worry, pigeon." "It's not as bad as you might imagine." "There's a mackintosh." "OK." "Um, Nurse?" "Um... my mother's had..." "had a little accident." "Oh." "We'll have it all taken care of in a jiffy." "We're old hands at this." "Aren't we, Mrs H?" "Take good care of you." "The tarts you find at the arse end of the world." "How long are you staying?" "Well, my mother's not well, so as long as she needs me." "Oh, dear." "We've always been very close, despite the tyranny of distance." "Back to real life, Baz." "How long's your tour of the colonies?" "Oh, darling, our play could run here forever." "They think anyone with an English accent is a class act." "More alcohol." "Yeah." "Have you any nice plays for us, Baz?" "Something a bit old-fashioned and plummy for all of us." "There is a play." "It's not old-fashioned but..." "If there's a plum, it's mine." "I wouldn't mind something small." "It's just an idea at the moment What is the idea?" "My life has been somewhat extraordinary, so..." "Holy hell." "You mean it's autobiographical?" "Hmm?" "Haven't the fucking critics already sliced off your balls?" " Well..." " You know..." "We're not really at our best when we're ourselves." "Who's that woman getting into our Bentley?" "That must be my cleaner, Mrs Kirsch." "I have the chauffeur drive her on cleaning days." "Here we are." "Snug as a bug in a rug." "Thank you." "Is that girl wearing your watch?" "I gave it to her." "For keeps?" "You weren't here." "It did you good, didn't it, Dorothy?" "What did me good?" "Oh." "I mean the air of Sydney." "Isn't that why we came here, for your bronchitis?" "Oh, maybe that's what you told Daddy." "Basil will remember." "Yes, Basil's a genius." "Neither of you came here to help when your father was ill." "No, that's not fair." "I couldn't then." "'Cause you wanted to punish me." "No, because my husband was leaving me for a woman whose family makes margarine." "Did you love him enough, dear?" "I never loved enough." "In my life with your father, I..." "never withheld myself." "But I never touched his penis." "Will you stop talking that ridiculous language?" "You only do it so I can't understand." "Do you think perhaps we could be of some comfort to each other now, Dorothy?" "Come." "I can't be a threat any more." "Can I?" "Mmm." "Oh." "Mmm." "Oh!" "Ah!" "Madam, did I scare..." "I mean, Princess..." "I'm sorry." "I'm Mary." "The night nurse." "Hello." "Mrs Hunter said we may change in her children's rooms since they're no longer used." "Yes, of course." "Yes, well, I'll leave you to it, then." "Yes." "Um..." "What kind of fur is that?" "Platypus." "Oh." "Hello." "I have kept it warm for you, madame." "Your dinner." "In the dining room." "Oh, yes." "Well..." "Look, I'm sorry, but I won't be able to dine here tonight." "I've got another appointment." "So goodnight." "Oh, well." "More for us, eh, Lot?" "I was bom and raised in a singularly disadvantaged electorate, of which I am still a local, so..." "If Australians, if the people, see fit to choose me as their next prime minister," "I will see to it that 1972 will be the beginning of real equality and health and education for all young Australians." "Will you be mounting your production in London?" "I'm not sure." "I haven't thought that..." "My daughter left me before the storm." "Did I tell you that, Lotte?" "She never understood that choosing between the sublime and the sensible often comes at a cost." "Let us not dwell on my children." "I've had enough disenchantment for one day." "Are we wearing our dress?" "We are, Mrs Hunter." "Our baubles?" "But of course." "Then, please, dear Mrs Lippmann, enchant me." "Tonight is unquestionably a night for..." "The tingle tangle." "Faster." "Faster!" "Faster!" "Come over." "Come on." "Oh, no." "Oh, no." "No, b-back." "Back!" "Oh, that's good." "Oh!" "It's coming." "That's good." "That's good." "No, it's not." "Kiss me." "Touch me." "Touch me." "Oh, yeah!" "Ah!" "I'm sorry." "I'm a dead loss." "No." "That's alright." "Here we go." "Ah, ah, ah." "Darling." "What a homecoming." "Darling!" "Darling." "How I've waited." "I thought the lambs were more important than me." "Why have you made me wait?" "Plane delay." "In ghastly Bangkok, of all places." "And then I needed to rest, to be at my best for you, Mother." "You were never, shall I say, deceitful but often devious." "How's poor old Dorothy?" "Dorothy is still poor old Dorothy." "Full of the wrongs done her." "Ah, you're wearing my Ethiopian ring." "The only thing you ever gave me in half a lifetime of absence." "Where's my kiss?" "Look at you." "Oh!" "You'll end up crippled like me." "All ailments are hereditary." "Thank you." "So are moral flaws." "Must I compete already for my son's attentions?" "Go." "You should be staying here, in your old room." "I've booked a room at the Onslow." "I didn't want to put anybody to any trouble." "But I have Mrs Lippmann to care for us." "Poor old Lotte." "The only one in her family to escape the German horrors." "When the Nazis come to town the cabaret dies." "How long since your last employment?" "I have several irons in the fire in the West End, one especially exciting." "Don't expect me to come and see it." "I stopped expecting that long ago, Mother." "Oh, darling." "You know I never come to see you because if you weren't any good, it would break my heart." "But I just might be very good." "They printed the reviews of your "King Lear" in the Sydney papers." "They thought enough of me over there to give me a knighthood." "But that was before your "King Lear"." "Hm." "How's your love life?" "Oh, brilliant, darling." "How's yours?" "He's taller than I thought." "What?" "!" "And sexy too." "He's definitely better in real life." "He is distinguished, certainly." "Yeah." "I could have him." "Save the leftovers for me." "What leftovers?" "Well, I'll be off, then." "Ooh!" "But no." "Mrs Hunter will be upset if I am not feeding you up." "I have to watch my figure." "Well, you've got no worries." "You're in great shape." "Sir." "Please." "Well, just a smidge." "Thank you." "Hm." "Mrs Lippmann is a performer too, you know." "Ah!" "Like yourself." "At a different height, it goes without saying." "You the great artist, me just a dizzy fizzer." "But theatre was necessary for us both, yes?" "Yes." "When we walked out through the lights, we forgot love." "Pain." "Murder..." "For me, performance is probably much like... nursing." "We have to feel the situation, but you can't drown in it." "Oh, no." "So this is for me and whose army?" "I enjoy to feed everybody." "Now, can someone tell me, who's the ancient lilac fairy upstairs masquerading as my mother?" "The creation of another being from one's own body, a complete and decent human being, a fearsome labour for a mother..." "and an actor." "Well, therein lies the play." "I'm not horribly late, am I?" "I expect I am." "Not at all, Princess." "Oh, Dorothy, please." "Oh, thank you." "I must admit, my wife and I privately still call you by that." "How is she?" "I love Lal." "Very well, thank you." "Thank you." "You, um, comfortable at the club?" "Oh, yes, thank you." "I'm there by invitation, you know." "That's very considerate of them." "Well, my brother's late, at least." "Sorry, ladies, I don't have a pen." "No, I have a pen, but..." "I'm sorry, I don't have a proper book." "Would a tissue be alright?" "Fine." "And your name is?" "Lurline." "Lurline." "Lurline." "Skinner." "Is that our country house, Cudgerie?" "Oh!" "There's Daddy." "Yeah." "You and my father were close friends, weren't you?" "We shared an interest in clocks." "I'm afraid nobody, none of us, loved him as he deserved." "Good old Dorothy!" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Basil." "Oh!" "You have improved quite a bit, darling." "Oh." "For God's sake, Dottie." "After all this time, allow me the pleasure of your eyes for a moment or two." "Don't you think we should get on with things?" "Mr Wyburd might have another appointment." "Good old Wyburd." "Mrs Hunter gathered from your letters a certain desire to discuss what might be best for her." "I've, uh, taken the liberty of preparing this." "Hm." "Mmm." "Good." "Mmm." "Yeah, well, you've..." "done a wonderful job." " So..." " Um..." "Well, Basil." "Oh, yes." "Well, um..." "If I may." "What we have to decide is whether a person who's reached my mother's - sorry, our mother's - age derives happiness and comfort from her half-life in proportion to the elaborate and..." "shockingly expensive machinery needed to maintain it." "I mean, surely the needs of old people when their minds are uh, compromised must be... simple." "Mrs Hunter's mind may wander at times, but it always appears to be searching after subtleties." "I'd say she's still the most complex woman I know." "And she enjoys her life." "She's giving away jewellery." "I mean, that Flora girl, how long has she been there?" "Is she the attractive one?" "She's wearing Mother's watch." "Are you aware that she keeps a full-time gardener and a part-time one?" "I believe that Mrs Hunter would rather die than have her way of life dictated to her." "To talk sense into her wouldn't be dictating." "Mmm." "You could do that, couldn't you, dear old Wyburd?" "Your mother asked me to give you these small gifts." "Oh." "Thank you." "Hm." "Let it appear thus." "A minimum of scenery and props." "Nothing to interfere with the inner life of the characters." "It must be architecturally and emotionally sparse." "This could restore one's faith in theatre." "You alright, Mrs H?" "Thanks for the lend of your strong arms, Col." "You're a very strong man for a chemist." "It's a couple of years before I'm a full chemist yet, Mrs Hunter." "Just downstairs on the right, in the living room." "Do you want me to come and pick you up after I close up the shop?" "No." "Well, you'll need someone to get her back up the stairs." "It's alright." "Her son can do that." "Perfect, darling." "Another day, another hairdo." "You look splendid." "Sorry I'm late." "Lilies." "I adore lilies." "Lovely." "Thank you." "Bless you, darling, for your generosity." "You've always had impeccable timing." "Don't spend it all at once." "No." "Yum." "Tea for two?" "Of course." "Gentlemen prefer martinis." "Not with cake." "I'm wearing the white today." "Dorothy!" "Edvard!" "Is she awake or asleep?" "Somewhere in between." "Edvard!" "So, we go for swim?" "No, not me." "I..." "I don't have swimmers." "I'm going." "Here." "Oh!" "Stay, Dorothy." "Stay." "Now, I think you might be having one of your little moments." "No, I'm not." "Let's see what the doctor thinks." "I'm perfectly lucid, aren't I?" "Am I?" "Don't tell the kiddies." "Where am I?" "Your favourite, place, Mother, the top of the stairs." "Oh, yes." "Yes." "It's pretty good." "She'll be fine, Sir Basil." "I'll take it from here." "Thank you, sister." "Goodnight." "Oh." "Um..." "I was just changing out of my uniform." "It's getting late." "I thought I might spend the night in my room." "Do you have to go?" "No." "Not really." "'Cause there's something I wanted to ask you." "Is my mother off with the pixies a lot?" "It might be good not to talk about your mum right now." "Sorry, Dora." "Flora." "Flora." "I've been having a bit of trouble lately." "Don't you find it kind of exciting to be in your old room?" "I bet you were quite the wild boy in here." "Bet you haven't touched yourself as much ever since." "You are a wonder." "How many girls did you have when you were in here all on your lonesome?" "OW!" "Oh!" "Sorry." "I've always been a... careless boy with delicate things." "Would it be alright if I just held you for a while?" "Luncheon would be lovely, Cherry." "Mmm." "It'll be small, won't it?" "Just some old friends, so we can talk?" "So, what time?" "Oh!" "Oh, Dorothy." "Cherry, I'm not too awfully late, am I?" "Oh, no, it's fine, it doesn't matter." " Doug." "Grab Dorothy a drink, would you?" " Of course." "Lovely to see you." "Oh." "Princess." "Athol, I'd like you to meet someone even more important than Australia's next prime minister." "It's an honour to meet you, Princess." "Really?" "I thought your platform was republicanism." "I can always forgive a title in a lovely lady." " Oh!" " Time's up, Athol." "This is Zila, and this is Betty..." "This is the Princess de Lascabanes." "Pleased to meet you, Your Highness." " Here we are, Princess." " Doug!" "Doug!" "No." "It's like that." "Oh!" "It's alright." "Are you OK?" "Yeah, I'm OK." "Cherry?" "Oh, Cherry!" "Are you alright?" "Where's the bed?" "Oh, are you having a God-awful time?" "I shouldn't have done a party, I know, but it's all Mummy trained me for." "Oh, couldn't you at least have worn a tiara?" "Shall I get Doug?" "No, no!" "Husbands aren't any use." "Oh, God, I know." "What was he like, your frog prince?" "Perverse." "Sexually." "Oh." "If I tell you something, will you promise not to pass it on?" "Sweetheart, I won't remember a thing in an hour." "His family used to call me "Dos rôti"." "Mmm." "That's sweet." "No, it's not sweet." "It means 'roast rump'." "Oh, well, they found it hilarious as well." "Oh, poor Dorothy." "Didn't you get a huge settlement out of them?" "No." "I kept the title." "But..." "How do you live over there?" "Well, it's difficult." "I get a small allowance from the family trust here." "Mother thinks a few blankets in a Paris winter are more character-building..." "How is your mother?" "Well..." "Activity!" "That's what old people thrive on!" "That's why... got Mummy into Thorogood Village." "Oh, really?" "She like it?" "Oh, she adored it right from the beginning." "That's so good, Cherry." "Poor darling." "Died a few weeks after being admitted." "Sorry." "I'm so sorry, darling." "Oh!" "Shh." "Shh, shh, shh." "There, there." "Oh." "Ooh, dear." "Shh." "Who are you?" "Oh, it's me." "Flora." "Is it you, Flora?" "Or is it me?" "I'm just trying your frock on." "Oh, yes." "It is you, Flora." "I see." "We had so much trouble getting the blood out of that material." "How'd you get blood on it?" "When the storm hit, of course." "I was urged afterwards to throw the dress away." "But I convinced my dressmaker to replace the bodice." "People misunderstand the significance of clothing." "They dismiss fashion as frivolous." "But how we dress distinguishes the occasion." "How could one ever discard a garment that marked such a day?" "I'm sorry." "I shouldn't have touched it." "Might as well get some wear out of it." "Dorothy could never pull off a dress like that." "Would it be alright if I wore this out somewhere?" "Not without the sapphire ring." "What ring?" "Well, didn't you just put it on your finger?" "Oh..." "I think you're just a little bit mixed up, that's all." "Why don't you go back to your little nippy-nap?" "Sleep just wakes me up." "It's such a beautiful dress." "Sorry, I don't mean to disturb you." "Oh, absolutely not." "Please." "Join us." "No, I've just come to say thank you." "I'd be neglecting my mother if I..." "if I stayed any longer." "Well, let me call you a cab." "Oh, don't worry, Doug." "I'll be heading off now too." "I've got my driver waiting outside." "Oh, well." "How very egalitarian of you, Mr Shreve." "Dougie." "I'll see you out." "Gentlemen." "Yes, well, lovely to meet you." "I know that dress." "Your mum says a dress should mark an occasion." "Come in, please." "Nice." "You too." "Oh!" "Steady on, Mr Shreve." "No, g... gently." "Gently." "That's not my style, is it?" "See, all I can offer the ruling classes is a bit of rough." "Well, along with your Oxford degree, of course." "See, I knew you'd have your own charm." "Definitely more subtle than Elizabeth's." "She was quite a filly, that girl." "Anyway." "You wouldn't be as good at it as your mother." "Next right!" "Yes, sir." "Where are you taking me?" "I thought it was your intention to perform your daughterly duties." "I wish to go back to the club." "Of course!" "But you might like to arrange to move back to your family home by the end of the week." "Who do you think's paying for your little stay at the club?" "Oh, the club..." "i-informed me that..." "A man in my position has to be cautious." "You really are an ungrateful little wretch, aren't you?" "Your mother, you see." "She loved gifts." "I think you may have made a mistake." "I mean, you will remember that my account is settled?" "It was, madame, as far as your accommodation was concerned." "But these amounts are for extras..." "meals, phone, french newspapers." "Would you care to settle now?" "I can't possibly have spent that much." "Do you think you'd be able to love me, Flora?" "What do you reckon we're doing now?" "Have you everything you need?" "Yeah." "Thank you very much." "Are you comfy?" "Uh-huh." "You're a genuine Botticelli." "Um..." "Perhaps I should be getting back soon." "I can see why my mother relies on you." "Yours is a true profession." "Unlike the kindergarten where I amuse myself." "Do you think we could be real, Flora?" "I think I might be ready for something real." "Turning points." "Never easy." "Mrs Lippmann, I need a cup of tea." "Mrs Lippmann?" "Uncomfortable moments are best glossed over, but distractions may do little other than cause complicated confusion." "It must be a sincere piece of work." "I'm sure my mother would prefer something English." "No, I would not." "I like this one." "I am sorry, madame." "You are too unexpected." " Where's that day nurse?" " Flora?" "She had an engagement and I was offering to help." "Would you please go and attend to your duties in the kitchen?" "It's an absolute disgrace." "I was down in her kitchen." "You weren't!" "I was." "That woman has thrown out huge amounts of perfectly good food." "As much as two whole kilos of filet de boeuf lie rotting and putrefying in the garbage." "It's waste!" "Everything's nothing but waste." "Are you going through a difficult time again, Dorothy?" "Athol Shreve was at Cherry's luncheon." "Athol?" "Yes, Mother." "The man who may be our next prime minister." "No, he won't, dear." "He's not nearly well enough endowed to screw the entire nation." "Oh." "Isn't it pleasant that you've grown and that we can talk to each other as women?" "Oh!" "Oh!" "Dorothy?" "Are you really going to destroy her husband's letters?" "Naturally." "Mrs Hunter requested it." "She doesn't want Dorothy and Basil ever to find her personal correspondence." "Is that the one where he offered Elizabeth her freedom?" "You've read them, then?" "Don't I take care of all your private paperwork?" "Yes." "You do, Lal." "Thank you." "She would have left him if she'd thought there was anything better out there." "That'll be for you." "Mrs Hunter always said I was uncivilised to dine at this early hour." "Mrs Hunter's children have requested this meeting to establish a little more clarity on your running of the household." "My overriding concerns relate to domestic costs." "Firstly, could we address the question of the consumption of food?" "Take me through an average day." "Address?" "I feed who is hungry." "I have seen the hunger but never in my kitchen." "It's alright, Lotte." "Oh, goody." "Mrs Hunter's favourite." "Mmm!" "You're wanting to get me into more trouble?" "Don't worry about Princess Lacabans." "Mrs Hunter loves me." "And so does Sir Basil." "Oy, gevalt!" "You didn't." "Oy, gevalt!" "I did." "And he thinks we might be real together." "What have you done?" "Does the baby of a sir get some sort of a title?" "Shh!" "Do not even mention that there could be such a possibility." "We must be very truly careful now." "This is how it is." "It begins with praise, promises, favours." "It is their need and ours." "Then one day, they change the rules." "No more business between us." "Just suspicion." "Interviews." "Isolation." "We must give them no excuses!" "Give who, you silly old biddy?" "The Nazis, of course." "The scent of those roses is intoxicating, Dorothy." "It's Mary, Mrs Hunter." "Don't contradict." "I said Mary." "Oh, please be seated, Mrs Lippmann, Flora." "I have something to give you." "You carry on, Mary." "I'm not going to give you anything." "You're already complete without adornment." "I would prefer to stand for whatever is to come." "Oh, for heaven's sakes, Lotte!" "I just wish to ask you what you would like as a keepsake while I still have some sense in this attic of a mind." "A keepsake?" "Where are you going?" "Nowhere." "Then I would like my dress, which was your dress, but only if Mr Wyburd will be writing it down that I didn't steal it." "Why else did I invite him?" "I'm writing that the dress is now the property of Mrs Lippmann." "It's a beaded dress, but every single sequin was hand-sewn in Shanghai." "My husband gave me two sapphire rings." "Blue sapphire is for intellect and intelligence." "Pink sapphire is for you, little Flora." "Is it pink?" "It's pink." "Write, Arnold, that she must wear it to celebrate her engagement to the chemist." "What?" "!" "Col?" "Well, isn't it he who..." "who hangs around sniffing after you when you're in season?" "What makes you think I'd marry him?" "I can tell you, I've got something much better on offer." "Please, Flora-Dora." "Thank Mrs Hunter." "Mr Wyburd, write that Flora has accepted the ring." "Shall I write that that is the case?" "Yes." "So long as it's not on the condition that I marry Col." "Not a condition, just a hope, my dear." "He's a decent man." "Come closer, Mr Wyburd." "This doesn't really fit my jewellery collection." "But I think your wife might like it." "I'm sure she will like it." "It has some personal significance." "It was given to me by Dorothy's young man on the island." "Oh, his name..." "Edvard Pell." "Edvard." "That's my foot." "Dorothy!" "Want to dip your toes in?" "Come on!" "Well, what are you waiting for?" "You may take your leave." "It's the season!" "Oh, dreamy!" "Strawberries and cream." "The perfect day for a pig." "Anyone for tennis?" "Anyone seen Dennis?" "I believe he's in Venice with Janice." "Oh, you can't be serious!" "He promised he'd be here and win." "We simply can't forfeit." "There's nothing else for it." "James, you shall have to fill in." "Well, I need a partner." "Has anyone seen the gin?" "Good evening, madame." "Hello." "Oh, darling!" "Hello, Mother." "What a pleasant surprise." "Oh, I'm all excited now." "We can have a lovely conversation." "Mother seems in fine form tonight." "She is indeed." "Oh." "She's fallen asleep." "It's the medication." "We've had to increase the dosage." "She'll be asleep for a little while now." "Very funny audience." "Well, we both thought you were all marvellous." "Yes, looked like you were having a really good time up there." "What do you do, dear?" "She's a really wonderful nurse." "Oh!" "Good." "Baz needs taking care of, God knows." "Oh, no, I look after his mother." "I played a nurse once." "Oh?" ""Romeo and Juliet"." "I find the nurse a rather redundant character, don't you, Flora?" "I don't know." "I haven't seen "Romeo and Juliet" since school." "Oh, you'll have to remedy that, Baz." "I will, when we go to London." "Oh, you're coming to London?" "Fabulous!" "So how long have you all known each other?" "Oh, since Shakespeare was a boy." "Janie." "Come and talk to Flora." "Squeeze in there." "Flora, this is Janie." "Hi." "What sort of fur is that?" " Kangaroo." " Oh!" "Janie will probably be playing you when I mount my play in London." "Are you putting me in a play?" "Well, I'll have to get in a bit of research." "I'd be awfully grateful if you'd help me out." "You're not going to say anything personal, though, are you?" "Well, of course we will, but it won't seem personal because she'll have an English accent." "Baz, does your mother know you two are an item?" "Not yet, but it's better for us, isn't it, to wait until... after." "After what?" "Well, you know what I mean." "My mother's got me on a short leash." "And I can't really afford to piss her off at the moment." "Why would she be pissed off?" "She likes me." "Yes, well, as a nurse, she does, but it's a different story if she knows that you're possibly carrying the family line." "Well, you know, I mean, mothers." "Oh, Basil!" "Excuse me." "I have to go to the toilet." "Lavatory, dear." "Flora!" "Oh, that was a fucking disaster." "Why did I have to say that?" " Flora!" " Oh, go after her, dear heart!" "I haven't the faintest idea where she lives." "Do you ever feel alone in the dark?" "No." "Not at all." "Your mother and I share the spirituality of the night." "You love her, don't you?" "Yes." "Otherwise, I couldn't do what I do." "Hm." "Love." "It's so vast." "It's difficult to imagine how one can achieve it." "Tea?" "Thank you." "It was a charming idea to pay me a visit, Lal." "I haven't seen you since..." "I wanted to thank you in person for my present." "Letters are unsatisfactory, don't you think?" "Yeah, I thought a gemstone would suit you more than it does myself." "Do you still have your freckles?" "They haven't turned cancerous, have they?" "Oh!" "Not that I'm aware of." "Sugar?" "Uh, no, thank you." "Have you offered Mr Wyburd a chocolate biscuit?" "My husband isn't here." "Yes, he is." "He's right here in my bedroom." "Oh." "Oh, he's slipped away." "We girls can talk about him now properly." "Milk?" "Uh, no..." "Yes, please." "Thanks." "Does he treat you kindly, Lal?" "Does he love you?" "I believe so." "Thank you." "He's my husband, and he's an honourable man." "Oh, yes." "Honourable, certainly." "And so hairless." "Why... why would you say that?" "He isn't bald, even now." "Cake?" "No, thank you." "I liked the feel of his skin." "His was the..." "softest and the whitest." "What?" "What are you saying?" "It was nothing, Lal." "Just flesh on flesh." "It only counts when love is involved." "My husband understood that." "Do you think you shall enjoy Thorogood Village?" "I believe your children are confident they'll find suitable accommodation for you there." "Cherry Cheeseman's mother died there." "Yes." "I believe the children are waiting for another such vacancy." "You and Arnold can go there if you think it's so nice!" "We couldn't afford it, Elizabeth." "I'd like you to leave." "I'm tired." "Though not as tired as my husband was." "I had to give him oxygen at the end." "Do you remember?" "I wasn't invited to your country home." "Goodbye, Mrs Hunter." "How was the visit?" "It was awful." "All the staff grilling me about the children's criminal intention to put their mother away." "How the leak occurred, I can't imagine." "I told." "You?" "I always looked up to Mrs Hunter as somebody who was beautiful and sometimes brilliant, but she's too selfish and too greedy." "Lal!" "I suppose I didn't stop to think that I'd been told in confidence." "Didn't stop to think?" "After all these years, not to be ethically conditioned?" "!" "Do you realise the consequences of your actions?" "Mrs Lippmann is rationing herself to one meal a day and refusing to accept her salary." "Flora surprised me with her open condemnation of the children, and Mary can't stop praying." "If the children applied for power of attorney at present, they would succeed." "An already perilously fragile house has turned lunatic!" "Is it the murderers come about their business already?" "Just look 'em in the eye." "They're not as special as they think they are." "It's so Mother to summons us here." "Ah, Mother." "Is a flair for theatrics genetic?" "I wanted to be outdoors, where one has a better chance of being struck by a thunderbolt." "Oh, now we're being morbid." "Mrs Hunter and, indeed, the entire household know about your intentions regarding Thorogood Village." "It is entirely my fault, I'm afraid." "I let it slip." "Well, not to worry, Mother." "They don't have any vacancies just yet." "Then I must make sure I die before they do." "We should make sure that my last memories are pleasant ones." "Basil, how shall you say goodbye?" "Perhaps you should recite something for me." "Oh, I hate matinee performances." "Oh, for heaven's sake, just do it." ""In such a night stood Dido with a willow in her hand,"" ""upon the wild sea banks..."" "Thank you, Basil." "Perhaps you would be more suited to something lighter." "You have a lovely singing voice." "Perhaps you should try something musical." "Kiss me goodbye, would you, before I go." "Don't be silly, darling." "You'll make a much grander exit than this." "Would you be happier if I came home and looked after you?" "Low again on funds, are we?" "Have we been called here for a public execution?" "Shall we, um, feed the swans?" "I don't want you at home any more." "Mary and Flora shall care for me." "I told Mary she could stay in your room." "Oh..." "How could you give away my room?" "You're willing to throw me out of mine!" "It's alright, Dorothy." "Mary can... stay in my room." "She's a nurse." "I wanted to be a nurse once and you said, "Don't be ridiculous."" "I was left in no doubt that nothing short of great social success would satisfy you." "Fly away, pigeon." "Just say your farewell and go." "You too, Edvard." "Edvard?" "You know I can't help getting my names mixed up." "I meant Basil." "No, you didn't." "You know exactly what you say." "To bring up Edvard now!" "Oh, your unforgiving nature exhausts me!" "Go." "Go visit your father in Cudgerie." "Father's passed away, dearie." "Then you must visit his grave." "Otherwise he'll be very hurt." "And please don't come back before the storm is over." "Neither of you possess the qualities to survive it." "I'm not going anywhere." "You can't order me into the country as if I was still a child." "Wyburd will organise everything." "You've always done this..." "pick a fight and then dismiss me." "Dorothy." "What?" "Come on." "Where's that kiss?" "Come on, Dorothy." "Can't you see our mother's completely gaga?" "Could this pilgrimage to the warm, shallow seas of childhood unlock the key to my second act, a return to a time when one still had a father and a mother's fractured prism of a mind had not yet fallen into the hands of mischievous elves?" "Why is the country so bloody far from the city?" "You don't believe that she would deny us financially at the very end, do you?" "Look, Dottie!" "Pies!" "You're not going to eat it?" "Of course!" "Two, four, six, eight." "Bog in, don't wait." "Oh!" "Not even in the wildest moments of sentimental excess would I eat a pie." "Mmm!" "Oh." "Oh, you're nauseating." "This is heavenly." "Really?" "Mmm." "Oh!" "Oh, it's absolutely revolting." "Oh." "Mmm." "We're not supposed to eat in Mummy's car." "I know." "Dorothy!" "Mrs Hunter." "It's Mary." "I don't want any Marys." "I want to go swimming with Dorothy and Edvard." "You have trouble?" "This damned heat makes my fingers swell." "Here." "Let me." "Thank you, Edvard." "Mary?" "It is Mary." "Isn't it?" "I hope you don't mind." "I organised a placement for you, for after I'm gone." "In a good family." "Thank you, for thinking of me." "Dear." "You know that nice medicine you give me to help me?" "Do you mind leaving the bottle on the bedside table so I could help myself?" "That would be entirely unethical." "I should have known." "You never blot your copybook for God." "Oh." "This is just what I dreaded - arriving at mealtimes." "It's bad form." "Oh!" "We should have brought a gift." "Oh!" "Roses." "What are their names again?" "Um... the Macrorys." "Macrorys." "Macrorys." "Anne and..." "Rory." "Hello!" " Uh!" " Hello!" "G'day." "How are you?" "Oi!" "Don't make a nuisance of yourselves." "Hello." "Hello." "Come on, Dot." "Rory, mate." "Basil." "Hello, Princess." "Oh, Dorothy, please." "Wow, a princess." "Um, I thought..." "Oh, lovely!" "Thank you so much." "Oh, that's lovely." "Um, it won't be what you remembered." "Will it, Rory?" "Um, we've put you in the master suite, Princess." "We've tried to make it comfortable for you." "Befitting." "Sir Basil." "Reckon you can doss down here?" "Why ever not?" "Leave you to it, then." "Thank you." "Mother's room." "Anne insisted we use your mother's china tonight." "Yeah, we're not in the dining room, though." "With the kids, we can't keep up your parents' standards." "Never mind." "They won't notice now." "Oh, my father does." "He's worried standards will fall with a stockman in the family." "Don't move." "Come here." "Come on." "It's alright." "It's alright." "There's a dustpan over there, sir." "Come here." "Come here." "Oh!" "Hey, leave the lady alone." "Stay for dinner." "Hello." "Be careful." "There's... there's glass over there." "That's you with no hair." "It is not." "I think that's you." "No, it's not." "That's me, about nine." "My theatrical clippings." "There's Daddy." "Dad kept all my theatre notices." "Let's see the cuttings of me." "Oh." "My wedding." "You were quite... quite pretty, really." "These are all his books." "I remember this one." "He used to read it to me." "That was his favourite." "It's my last letter to him." "It's mine too." "Oh, this is half in French." "Oh, God." "I wrote goodbye to my father in French." "I can't really look at that one." ""My dear old Dad,"" ""You're the last man I'd like to think a victim of this most horrible illness."" ""I'm even more depressed"" ""for being unable to concentrate all my thoughts on you,"" ""as we are in the throes of rehearsal."" "Read the postscript." ""PS." "Nobody can realise the strain of taking on such a role as Macbeth."" "Not the best thing to have said in the circumstances." "Oh, Lotte, get up." "The cleaner will attend to that." "Mrs Kirsch has resigned." "And so has the chauffeur since madame took the car." "Will you stop it?" "Your feet are swelling up." "If you can't dance for Mrs Hunter, you'll be really stuffed." "Then my usefulness will have no use." "What is burning?" "Oh, no!" "My strudel!" "All burnt!" "It is because I am giving thought to the terrible mess you have us all in." "Well, you needn't worry about it." "It's all over with Basil." "Turns out we don't speak the same language." "But you think that there is a child?" "I'm regular as clockwork, and I'm four days late." "Oh, Flora-Dora." "I am knowing something what might help you." "They begin with a hot bath and brandy." "You're not laying a finger on me, Lotte." "You remember me, don't you?" "Arnold." "Oh, yes." "I sent for you." "Because..." "You wish to make some adjustments to your final wishes?" "Yes." "I wish to leave the bulk of my estate to my husband." "Mrs Hunter, your husband is no longer with us." "Just because Alfred lives in the country doesn't mean that my marriage isn't the most important thing in the world to me." "Perhaps your husband does not need the money now and might prefer that you consider someone else." "Alright, then, if my husband's going to be like that." "I'll leave it to the German dancer." "She's like this nearly all the time now." "I think you're gonna have to decide what she'd want if she was still all there." "Do you want her kids coming back here and saying that she's incompetent?" "They will." "They'll put her in that home." "My Wyburd's got some nice cool water for you, love." "Thank you." "Well." "Shall we begin, then?" "I wish to leave the bulk of my estate to you, Mr Wyburd." "You have served me with such loyalty and discretion." "I've done so little for you in return." "I'll sign, then." "And then I want to go to sleep." "Hurry up." "Help me sign." "No, Flora." "Could you please leave us?" "This must be my responsibility alone." "Help me." "Don't go." "You see, I..." "I'm a little afraid, you know." "I don't remember things much any more." "I only seem to remember things from way back, when..." "Life is unforgettable moments with dull routine in between." "Without those moments what do we have left to remember?" "Running away from home... sir?" "You want to be dropped here?" "Thank you." "I used to come here looking for yabbies." "Not enough water to drown yourself in here." "I'll pick you up soon." "I'm in no hurry." "Jeez, you people have got it made." ""Mmm". "Muh", "muh", "muh", "muh"." "You heavens, give me that patience, patience I need!" "I will have such revenges on you both that all the world..." "I will do such things!" "What they are yet, I know not, but they shall be the terrors of the earth!" "But this heart shall break into a hundred thousand flaws or ere I'll weep." "Oh, fool, I shall go mad!" "Oh, shit!" "Shit!" "Shit!" "OW!" " Dad said you'd do something stupid." " Mogs!" "Like paddling." "I was always a clumsy blighter." "Fell out of a tree as a kid, as I recall." "Broke your arm." "Your mother never taught you two how to look after yourselves." "Here, do you think you can manage this?" "Yes." "Never had much time for her." "Well, you're the only man I've ever heard say that." "But I came round to her in the end." "Ah!" "They all do." "I still remember Dad carrying me home." "He was a good man, your dad." "When he got really crook, he wanted to finish it off here in his own home." "Yeah, your mother looked after him round the clock." "She did everything." "She gave him his final shot." "Because your dad knew your mother had the guts to do what needed to be done without flinching." "He was in such pain, you know." "She couldn't stand to see him in such pain." "I loved your mother." "You shouldn't even be standing on these, let alone dancing." "But I must dance for her." "She has asked for me." "You won't be telling her about my feet, will you?" "Why not?" "She does not care for weakness in others." "And we must be making her still care for us." "Please, Flora-Dora." "Please." "You will stay with me, won't you?" "As long as I don't have to watch." "It's not the likes of you I must amuse." "Princess de Lascabanes!" "I was looking for Anne." "She's asleep." "Oh." "Whereas I like to prowl around the house all night." "Oh." "Just a... tiny bit." "Oh." "Sorry." "Where's old Basil, then?" "Oh." "He's asleep, probably." "You got to admire him, out there, shouting his flaming poetry at the breeze." "Now, he can get away with it." "Don't you reckon?" "I have no idea." "I hardly know my brother." "Hm." "Hm." "Yes, so, um..." "I...we, Basil and myself, we feel like we're imposing." "So, um..." "We'd just like to offer you some sort of recompense." "I've never thought of friendship as something you have to pay for, Dorothy." "Not like love." "No." "Well, of course." "Um..." "I..." "I think I expressed myself crudely." "So... goodnight." "Hm." "Lust is always difficult to understand." "And too often, it doesn't end well." "Dottie?" "Dottie?" "Are you alright?" "What's worrying you, darling?" "Shh, shh, shh." "I have to leave this place." "This place churns up difficult memories." "A barren childhood." "A barren life." "Is it better to lock loveless misery in a box, buried deep in a bedroom closet with all the other remnants of childhood?" "That's better." "Or is it braver to take it out and examine it in the more forgiving light?" "Where are you going?" "We're waiting on you for lunch." "I'm flying back to the mainland." "For heaven's sake, Dorothy!" "What is wrong with you, darling, that you must carry on so?" "I don't want to talk about it." "You're at a difficult age for a woman, that's all." "No, Mother." "That's not it." "It's the relentless, utterly predictable nature of your ferocious assaults!" "Well, you could have had it, but you... didn't seem to want it." "At least give me a hug..." "Do not touch me with your greasy hands!" "Oh..." "Something is wrong?" "Help yourself to something to eat, Edvard, and then I think it's best you leave." "In you go, nice and warm." "What have we got if we haven't got each other?" "Do you realise, Dorothy they probably conceived us in this bed." "Mummy's two great disappointments." "When you have love to give, it's not wanted." "When it finally is wanted it's too late." "Dorothy!" "Dorothy!" "Dorothy!" "Edvard!" "Edvard!" "No-one will ever know us like we do." "Edvard!" "Ah!" "Ah!" "Careful, Lotte." "Stop it..." "Stop it, Lotte!" "You'll hurt yourself." "Stop, now!" "Lotte!" "My God!" "Who are you?" "Were you hit by..." "A German?" "Is she German?" "She is, but this is Mrs Lippmann, love." "You remember Lotte." "Oh, why is she wearing my dress?" "Shh!" "I don't like her." "Let go!" "She's showing too much of herself." "Tell her to go away." "Come on, you mad bitch." "Come on." "Send her away." "Couple of mad bitches." "OK." "Cue the music for act three." "Oh, sorry, fell over." "Oops." "The stage is bathed in twilight." "Now, don't forget, Willie, you're going to be the princess." "Charlie, you're going to be the knight." "You're going to hold hands with the poor old woman who's lying sick in bed." "First, Mogs, you enter stage right and you give her the medicine." "No." "I'm not going to be the nurse." "I'm going to be the princess." "Oh, but the nurse is very pretty, and the knight adores the nurse." "I don't care." "She's not a princess." "The princess must be the one that enters stage right." "If she wants to play the fucking princess..." "Oh, alright." "You can be the princess." "Enter the princess stage right." "Wait for the music." "The princess valiantly returns home while the knight is probably hiding in the woods." "No-one touched me when I was a child, in case I got dirty, Flora." "It's not Flora, Mother." "It's me, Dorothy." "No, it isn't." "Don't you know me anymore?" "Course I do." "You're the day nurse." "Oh, jasmine." "I like... to smell nice after I've had sex." "Have you just had sex, have you?" "Haven't you?" "I like... a little slut in a woman." "You have some slut in you, Flora." "So do I." "You and I need to taste everything." "Everything Dorothy puts in her mouth turns into a sour lemon." "Yes." "Dorothy's a prissy dame." "She nearly died of shame when you mentioned the word "penis" out loud." "It's not even a dirty word." ""Penis" is a lovely word." "Sounds lovelier than it looks." "Is it night or day?" "Just gone dark now." "Just a little lipstick, then, for dinner." "Oh, right." "I think I need the seat." "Oh, I'll fetch the pan." "No." "I want to use the commode." "Shall I get the night nurse?" "No." "You do it." "OK, here we go." "Careful, careful." "You're clumsy, pigeon." "Mum?" "I haven't seen my children since I was a girl." "Here." "Oh." "Here's your little bell." "Got your balance, have you?" "Balance is always a matter of chance." "But yes." "I believe I'm steady." "Have you finished, Mother?" "Mummy?" "Sister DeSantis!" "Mary!" "Mrs Hunter?" "Mrs Hunter?" "She's gone." "Could you help me get her back to her bed?" "Yes, of course." "Her legs, madame." "Oh, my God." "Oh, my God." "Did I hear the phone before?" "Was that...?" "Yep." "It's over." "Do you mind if I...?" "Go on, dear." "Clean yourself up and get over there." "She would have died peacefully, I suppose, in her sleep." "That's how it takes old people." "Aren't you going to cry, sir?" "I hope Mother was not afraid at the last." "Shall I pack your suitcase for you, Basil?" "Oh, if you don't mind, I'd like to stay on here for a few days." "After all, Mother isn't there any more, is she?" "If that's OK with you, Rory." "I'll move you into the princess's room." "It's more... fitting." "No, please." "I'm..." "I'm quite comfortable in the children's room." "It's been a long night, and I thought you might need a little sustenance." "I'll just fetch Mrs Lippmann." "Please sit down." "After you, madame." "Thank you, Mr Wyburd." "Would you like to say grace, madame?" "Perhaps you would like to do so, Mary." "Bless us, O Lord, in this time of sadness." "We are mindful of your mercy, in this life and the next, while being grateful for the gifts that we are about to receive." "Amen." "Amen." "Amen." "Thank you." "Start." "Lotte?" "Lot?" "Lotte?" "Lotte?" "Lot?" "Oh, God, Lotte!" "No, Lotte!" "Lotte, no!" "No, no, no, no, no, no!" "Oh, Lotte." "Put some more sausages on, eh?" "Yeah." "I trust you'll find Mrs Hunter's will quite straightforward." "Apart from a few bequests, it's an equal division of her fortune between yourselves." "And the bequests?" "15,000 each to the nurses, the Macrorys and her housekeeper, Mrs Lippmann, which will remain in the estate." "Yes, well." "Most sad." "Did Mother make no allowance for you, Arnold?" "No, no." "Don't expect it crossed her mind." "Now, finally, the question of her belongings." "Is there anything that you would like to keep?" "Oh, well." "Perhaps if there's any jewellery left over." "I wouldn't mind my father's books." "Oh, and my mother's make-up." "Shall we, then, dispose of everything else by auction?" "By all means." "I think we can see that one through to the end, can't we, Dottie, before we slink away?" "Let's not misjudge one incident that occurred when we were both under great stress for an ongoing alliance." "Well, thank you for everything." "Do give my regards to Lal." "I shall." "Oh, well!" "Give my regards to Air France, is it?" "Goodbye, darling." "Be lucky." "Au revoir." "Princess." "Au revoir." "Are we alright, sir?" "I don't know, old mate." "Are we?" "I hope you won't think me impertinent, but would you like me to continue to conduct your family's business, on behalf of your sister and yourself?" "I didn't say goodbye to her, Arnold." "I think in the end, somewhere in the recesses of my mother's mind, she understood that Dorothy is courageous and I'm not." "You'll say goodbye to your mother in your own way, I'm sure, sir." "I see her always hesitating deliberately at the top of the stairs, in her inexhaustible wardrobe, preferably white, then descending, holding back her full radiance, until at precisely the fourth stair the light breaks from inside all around her." "Mother's belief that she was entitled to die whenever she damn well pleased never faltered." "Those that choose to remain do so because we relish the joys and the torments, the terrors and exhilarations of living." "Ah." "Dommage." "It might be less painful in the end if we never allowed ourselves to forget that our clumsy flesh, in which we throb and flicker, is only a disguise until we are unburdened by death which is our natural conclusion."