"From the people who brought you Eddie, 'the dumbest mouse in the world'." "And his lovely wife Michelle, 'the mouse-eating python'..." "Ratso entertainment proudly presents, Wesley" "'The longest worm in the world'!" "Waste of time!" "B..." "But, Guys, guys, come on!" "Guys, just guys, guys please, please, don't go there's so much more to see." "It's all rubbish" " Nice show, Wes." " That's it," " I quit!" " What?" "!" "You can't quit now," " that was your best show yet!" " They hated me!" "The act stinks." "I need a new manager." "But what about the carnival?" "!" "My cousin Ernie's got the whole thing set up!" "This is the booking we've been waiting for, ...fame and fortune are calling..." "Raaaaaaaatsoo..." "Wessssssssssssssly..." " Come on buddy, I can't do this on my own." " Huh!" "Then find someone else." "Someone else?" "!" "But you're the only friend I've got!" "I've got news for you Ratso, you don't have any friends." "You don't mean that, you're just high on your own success!" " What are you doing?" "!" " Some day you'll thank me, buddy." " Hello Ratso." " Phyllis, What a surprise!" "Did you honestly think I wouldn't find you?" "Honestly?" "Yes." "C'mon Phyllis, nobody wants this!" "I've got big plans..." " let me have my life!" " Show's over, Ratso." " Well..." " ..." "I guess there's no point in running." " None." " What the heck." "Go get him boys!" " Get me out of here!" " Little busy!" " Mee ow!" " A-a-s...!" "A-a-a-a...!" "So long Phyllis!" "A... a-a-a...!" "Your life belongs to me Ratso." "And I'm gonna find you..." "whatever it takes." ""Ugly Duckling and Me"" " Ah, I wish you could see this, Wesley, we're on our way." " You'll be sorry, Ratso!" "I'll never work for you again - and without me you're nothing!" "That's right, Wesley." "We're on our way." "The carnival!" "Yes!" "I'm the king of the world!" "Huh?" "No!" "Wait!" "Stop the train!" "A-a-a-a...!" "Aaahhhh... ooh ah, My neck." "Ha..." "Wait a minute" " ...what did you do with the city?" "!" "He takes in his surroundings." " Forget the city," "I saw it Wes, I saw the carnival, it was beautiful!" "Don't you get it" " I'M NOT GOING!" "B... but you've gotta go!" "Do you mind?" "I'll give you anything you want!" " You'll give me anything?" " Anything." " What is your problem?" "!" " All I wants is a bit of respect..." " You've got it..." " What?" "!" " Beat it Kid!" "Oh, and, eh some kind of wheels." " Oh boy." " Yeah, I'm thinking solid gold." "A-a-a...!" "a-a-a...!" "Ratso?" "Hello!" "Ah come on, it stinks in here!" "A-a-a...!" "Wesley?" "Okay, that's it," "You've messed with the wrong rat" "What!" "Are you laughing in there?" "!" "Okay, let's do this thing." "They're such a joy at this age." "Shut up!" "Now who are you and what do you think you're doing with that egg?" "I'm Ratso and..." " and I've forgotten the second half of your question." "Any-who, it's been a real pleasure stay beautiful." "Taxi!" "Aw!" "I seem to be having some trouble finding the door." " Once you're in the duck yard..." " ...there's no way out." " But what if he's an egg thief?" "Egg thief?" "!" "Me?" "No, you've got it all wrong." "I'll be honest with you honey, can I call you honey?" " No!" " Listen honey, this isn't just any egg, it's My egg!" " How could a rat lay an egg?" "!" " I didn't." "My beautiful lady wife..." "Frank... en... zilla." "Frankenzilla." "May she waddle forever in the big duck yard in the sky." "Laid this egg moments before she... before she..." "I can't say it!" "Why, Why her?" "Why didn't you take me?" "!" "Her last wish was... that our baby would be brought up in the duck yard she was raised in..." " the city is no place for a little one." " Ha!" "You're not fooling anyone mister..." "Well... maybe the chickens, but that's about it." "Do you really expect us to believe that a rat... the lowest, dirtiest, most double crossing, selfish, nasty..." "Okay, okay, we all know what a rat is." "...could possibly be the father of an egg?" "Besides, I don't remember any 'Frankenzilla'." "Sure you do, she had feathers and wings..." "And a... em... beak..." "On her head?" "What was it she used to say all the time...?" " Oh yeah, 'quack'." " I remember her." " You do?" "!" " Daphne?" " Yeah." "Nice girl." "Feathers, wings..." " terrible taste in men." "Hmm" " Oh yeah..." " I remember" " Uh..." " Ah!" " Ah!" "I can't believe I hugged that thing." "Good grief..." " that's the ugliest duckling I've ever seen!" " He's the father alright." " Now you run along Ugly, they'll look after you here." " Mama" "Don't touch me." "Shut up!" "If this duckling is truly one of our own he can stay in the duck yard... ugly as he may be." "But he's your son and you must raise him." "You're right." "What sort of father would I be if I refused to be a mother to my own son?" " Mama" " And you, call me Ratso." "'No way out'?" "We'll see about that." "I gotta find Wesley." "They haven't made a duck yard that can hold Ratso!" "At least I don't think they have..." " it's never really come up before." " Mama..." "Mama!" "Right." "Number one" "I don't want you calling me Mama or anything else for that matter." "Number two" " Just stay out of my way and everything will be fine." "Number..." "What's wrong with your face?" "You look uglier than usual." "What are you doing?" "!" "What's wrong with you?" "!" "What do you want from me?" "!" " He wants you to be his father." " Oh, that's so sweet, you're really good with him." " Would you like to keep him?" " Bringing up a child on your own isn't easy, and I should know." "Is this your way of telling me you're single?" "Why don't you take him." " What's that?" " That?" "It's a hole... for baby." "Thought I'd make him a nice hole to sleep in for the night." "There's an empty paint can by the coop." " ..." "You could get some straw and stay in that." " Even better!" " Good night." " Good night." "Somebody likes me!" "...and all the little pixie children began to smile... for each daughter was prettier than the next and the princess, with hair of gold and feathers so fair, went to find her true love..." "So she says, 'But Ratso, this is only our first date'!" "And I'm like, 'listen sugar lips, why wait for Christmas when Santa's right here on the dance floor?" "'" "Mama!" " Ratso." "My name is Ratso." " Huh?" "Mama?" " Ratso!" " Mama!" " Say Ratso, damn it!" " Damn it!" "Damn it!" "Damn it!" "A-a-a-a...!" "Yes!" "I'm almost through!" "This time tomorrow night I'll be out of here and on my way to the carnival!" "What's a carnival?" " Well... it's " " Wow!" "Can I come?" " No." "Of course you can come!" "You really think I'd leave you here?" " Mama!" " Couldn't you at least call me Dad?" "Now go play by the water's edge," "I've got some cleaning up to do." "Wow!" "?" " Pretty beautiful, huh?" " HA!" "What would you know about beauty, freak?" "Yeah, stay away from our pond, freak!" "So long, freak!" " Poor little fellow, - children can be so cruel." "Calling him a freak, I mean really." "Well let's face it, he is something of a freak but that doesn't give anyone the right to say so." "And it's hardly his fault with a rat for a father." "Not that anyone believes he really is his father." "He's a rat for goodness sake!" "But that's nobody's business." "Dad?" "I'm sorry, did we wake you?" "Whoa!" "I just had the wildest dream!" "What does it mean when a penguin eats your hat?" "Eeh..." "Is that stress?" "There are certain members of the duck yard..." "...who've have had enough of you and your boy and this unsightly mess." "It's a monstrosity!" "Eh actually..." " It's... a mountain." " A mountain?" "!" " Yes." "We decided to build our own view." " Tomorrow we're making a lake." " That's it!" " I want this mess gone today!" " But we just finished digging our" "Digging your what?" "Teeth... into the show!" "Tonight was gonna to be the night!" " What show?" " Well why else would we put a stage on our mountain?" " Doesn't look like a stage to me." " We just thought, 'hey!" "Let's give something back!" "'" "You know?" "It's what showbiz folk do." "Our little way of saying thanks." "Oh I do like a good show!" "All chickens do." "Can't we have just one little" "And the kid's got talent!" "One and two and three and a And shake it!" "Now that's hot!" "I can't stand it!" "Whoa, you're killing me!" "Ta-da!" "Now that's what I'm talking about!" "It's raw, but it's there!" " Oh, he's very talented." " One show." "And then I want it gone." "Sunset tonight, you won't regret this!" "I'm watching you, rat." " Where is that rat?" " I can't see." " Where is he?" " Come On!" " Get on with it I've got eggs to lay" "We want the show." " Tough yard." " I'm not doing the show." "They'll hate me." "I'm no good at anything." "What are you talking about?" "It's in your blood, you're a natural just like your old man." "They say that..." "that you're not really my father." "And you believed them?" "You sure don't look like me." "I got a little beak..." "little wings..." " and I'm all feathery..." " Well not from the front!" " You look like your mother from the front" " Uhh?" " like a duck." " I do?" " But from behind you've got my looks." "Really?" " That's my boy." "Now let's get out there and show them our stuff." " Okay." "Hi!" "I just thought, since you didn't have anyone else to wish you luck, that I might." " Good luck." " Hey thanks." "But we don't need luck." "I do." " Are you sure this is a good idea?" " You're so sweet to worry." "But don't." "I'll be fine." "I was talking about Ugly." "Oh, him!" "Right." "What was the question again?" " I just hope you know what you're doing." " Come on Mom!" "Hurry up!" "Good luck." " Finally" " Boo, boo, come on..." "Ladies and..." "Ladies." "Have we got a show for you tonight!" "Brace." "yourselves for a night of top class entertainment..." "Woah I know that voice." "When I first met this little guy he was nothing." "He couldn't sing, couldn't dance, he couldn't even tell a joke." "Nobody would have paid to come and see him." "But that's all changed now, because tonight... he's appearing for free!" " What" " How come I've got stuck with the most annoying brothers in the..." "Well, well... what do we have here...?" "I give you..." "Ugly!" "No hard feelings kid." "Has he started yet?" "Oh, get on with it." "The point is, I found it." " You didn't find it, you fell in it." " Will you two shut up?" "!" " Get off the stage!" " Boo, boo, you're rubbish!" "That's one of Ratso's shows alright." "Stan, you stay here and guard the tunnel." " Maybe he's already gone." " Impossible." "There's only one way out and Stan's " "Eh I got a question." " ...guarding it." " If, at any time, I have to come in here and ask you a question then who guards the tunnel?" "Free at last!" "Wesley!" "I'm back!" " where are you?" " Ratso?" " Huh?" "Wesley?" "Get Movin boys!" "He can't have gotten far!" " Aahhh, I knew you'd wait!" " Wait?" " Do you have any idea how long I have been in this bottle?" "!" " Hurry up Stan," "You want him to get away?" "!" "Doesn't she ever give up?" "Let's hope she doesn't know about the carnival." "I AM NOT GOING TO THE CARNIVAL!" "What a freak!" "That has to be the ugliest duckling in the world." "'The ugliest duckling in the world'?" " How could I have been so stupid?" "He's perfect!" " Him?" "!" "Wesley, I'm sorry." "I've found another act, you might as well just go home." "Huh?" "!" "That's what I was trying to dooooooo!" "This isn't going to be easy." "Okay, so it was easy." " You forgot me." " Forgot you?" "Don't be silly my little gold-mine," " I'd never forget you!" " Gold-mine?" "I meant son." " Does this mean you're taking me with you?" " Step right up!" " Yeah!" " I'm really not sure if this is good for me." " Silence, worm!" "I'm looking for Ratso and you're going to tell me where he is." "He... he was going to a carnival!" "I think he's bringing some kind of duck." " But between you and me love I don't think the kid's got what it takes." " Which way?" " They went that way." " Let him go." "Could you at least point me in the direction of the cityyyyyyyyyyy!" "Look, Dad!" "Do you see them?" "Aren't they beautiful?" "That's nothing!" "You want to see beautiful, just wait until you see the lights of the carnival." " You never told me, what's a carnival?" " What's a carnival?" "!" "How can I put this..." "It's only the greatest place in the world!" " Woah!" " And this, my bizarre looking little friend, is a map to the carnival." "See?" "That's it right there." "We're, like, three inches away!" "All we have to do is get there." "My cousin Ernie will do the rest," " he's very big in the biz." " Your cousin would do that for us?" " Wow, he sounds like a true friend." " More of a pen pal than a friend" "You never met him?" "I'm curious." "Did I teach you to talk?" "I don't remember teaching you to talk," "I don't remember anybody teaching you to talk, and yet... you talk." " Those woods look kind of creepy." " You don't have to be scared of the woods." "They can't hurt you." " It's the things that live in the woods you should be worried about." " A-a!" "Okay, okay." "Look when you get scared all you have to do have to do is cry out for help" " and Ratso the Ruthless will..." " Help!" "Aagh!" "Ssh!" "No not like that like this" " "help me"" " Ratso the Ruthless Okay?" " Okay." "Dad, I've been thinking about the carnival." " Are we really going to be famous?" " With your talent and my greed we can't fail!" " But what talent?" "They just laughed at me." " Yes, but... they never got to see you dance." "You've got a dancer's physique." "Just like your Mom." " My Mom was a dancer?" " Oh yeah, very light on her flippers." "I see a lot of her in you." "Now dance for me!" " Eh..." "Now?" " Yes!" " But but I can't!" " Dance!" "This is gonna be huge." "Let's not wear ourselves out." "But you truly have a gift." "How many legs do you have?" " Legs?" " How many?" " Eh Two?" " Incredible!" "I find it hard to believe that someone with only two legs could dance with such magnificence." "Just two?" "Are you sure?" "Have you counted them recently?" "Just two!" "Help me..." "That was close." "Let's get out of here." " But Dad she asked us to help her!" " No she didn't, she said "Leave me..."" "I can see how you were confused." "Ugly?" " Here comes Ratso the ruthless!" " Aagh!" "Oh no!" "Run away, hurry!" "Miss, don't take this wrong, ...I mean, I think you're a great looking lady - a foxy vixen!" "Okay, you're just the smallest bit..." "I don't know... chunky around the hips?" "Not a lot!" "But, you know, a little." "I was the same way and you know how I lost it?" "I completely cut out snacking." "If you don't eat us, this could be you." "Please don't eat me!" "You can't" " I'm a mother now!" "You know, you wouldn't be the first rat who made it onto my menu." "Eugh!" "You make me sick!" "Really!" "So long, chunky!" " P..." "Phy..." "Phyllis" " Hm, did I say something?" " No." " That's strange." "Are you sure?" " Yes." " I didn't say something like... 'hey guys, why don't you take a break?" "'" " No." "THEN WHY ARE YOU TAKING A BREAK?" "!" "Can't we just go back to the city and get someone else?" "We've got to find him!" "There is no one else!" "The sooner we get to the carnival the better." "Boy have I got some stories for Ernie." "Would you mind if I built up the whole me fighting the fox thing." "Maybe added a little sword fight." "What is it now, chuckles?" " You didn't scare the fox away, I did... with my ugly face." " True, although I still think the sword fight sounds better." "But we can work that out on the way." " I'm just an ugly freak." " But that's the point!" " 'That's the point'?" "Of life!" "That's the point of life!" "If everybody was the same the world would be a very boring place, right?" "Anyway, you're not as different as you might think." " Deep down, everybody's " " Beautiful?" " No, everybody's ugly." "You see, beautiful people spend all their time trying to stay beautiful." "But beauty's a passing thing." "And by the time they figure that out, they've wasted their lives on hand cream and early nights." "It's guys like you and me that have all the fun." " I still don't get it." " Don't worry, it'll all make sense when you grow up." " I can't wait until I'm a grown-up." " Don't hold your breath, kid." "Growing up isn't something that happens overnight." " Who are you!" "?" " I'm Ugly!" "I can see that!" "No, I mean it's me..." "Ugly." "Freaky!" "This is great!" "I mean, you were ugly before, but now..." "But now I think you've really grown into yourself." " Really?" " Sure!" " Well don't go on about it!" " What was all that about?" " I don't know." " Well that's not annoying." " I can't help it, I feel weird." " Not that you care!" " Now what?" " You wouldn't understand." " Understand what?" " Exactly!" " You've changed." " Duh!" "Interesting." " What if I was to ask you to give me a hug?" " You are soooo embarrassing!" "I see." "And what if I told you, you weren't allowed to fly until you were sixteen?" "No way!" "You can't do that!" "That is soooo unfair!" " I think I know what's wrong with you." " You... you do?" " Yeah," "I've seen this kind of thing before, even happened to me once." "You've turned into a teenager." "This is all I need." " What's wrong with being a teenager?" " What's wrong with it?" "!" "I'll tell you what's wrong with it, first of all you're going to want to have a mind of your own," " 'Don't tell me what to think, Dad!" "'" " But Dad " " Then you'll lose all respect for me, 'Like, I'm ashamed of you old man.'" " Now, you tell me, how am I supposed to get things done with you acting up all the time?" "!" " But..." "Typical teenager!" "Prime of your life and you just lie around the place." "But Dad, I don't know how to be a teenager." "It's easy." "Just speak funny, be rude to your parents and fall in love with the first girl who smiles at you." " Hi!" " Huh?" " O-oy..." "It's you...?" "Jesse." "And look who's all grown up." " Cut it out, sister." " Boy I'm glad to see you guys," " I've been looking everywhere." " I'll bet." " I didn't think I'd ever catch up with you." " That fox banged me up pretty good I think my wing is broken." " Does it hurt?" " A little." " Whoa, whoa, whoa, back it up." " Geoff, right?" " Jesse." "Whatever." "Nice to see you but we've really got to be going." " But Dad..." " Let's go, Ugly." "I..." "I was wondering, you see my family have already flown south for the winter and well." "do you think I could tag along with you two for a while?" " Oh That would be great." " Just until my wing gets better." "Not a chance." "Me and my boy work alone." "Plus," "I have a no girls on adventures policy." " It's just that I really don't fancy my chances here in fox country." " You'd only slow us down." " Come on!" " m, m..." "Okay." "I've thought about it and have decided to let Geoff come along on a trial basis." "What are you waiting for?" "Let's go!" "Ha?" "!" "Looks like the worm was right." "Ratso has found himself a little friend." "So that's what that blue line means." "It looked so cute on the map." "How are we ever going to get across that?" " Oh, It's easy." "All we have to do is " " Woah!" "Woah!" "I was talking to me." "You can tag along but I'm calling the shots here." " But I " " I can do this." " Fine!" " Ha, It looks pretty thin." " By the way... the other thing about teenagers is, they love adventure." "The more danger the better." "Oh no, we're not going out there." "There you go with that 'mind of your own' thing again." "you have to go first" " I can't swim." " But we're heavier than you." " Exactly." " If you make it I'll definitely be safe!" " In that case" " ...we're definitely not going." " You have to!" " Why!" " ..." "Well, well, because I'm the grown up and I tell you to..." " Why!" "Because, because...?" "!" "Aaagh Okay, fine, I'll do it!" "But I'm warning you, if anything happens to me you'll be heartbroken." "Sending his own father out onto an icy death trap" "I'm really going to do this you know!" " Sure you are" " Watch me!" "Listen here young man..." "I've had just about enough of you carrying on, and if I ask you to do something in future, you'd better just darn well do it!" "A-a..." " A-a-a-a!" "Ugly!" " Dad!" " Ugly!" " Dad!" "No Ugly don't!" "UGLY!" "Dad!" "Your head!" "Dad?" " Ugly!" "Ugly!" "Are you alright?" " Well..." " ..." "I guess so." " That was amazing!" " It... it was?" "it was?" "Are you kidding?" "!" "First you save my life and now Ratso's!" " It's not such a big deal..." "I just..." " You heard him, no big deal." "Listen Geoff, if that even is your real name, if your wing is really broken, which it isn't," " ...then how did you get across the river?" " I used the bridge." "I tried to tell you." "Eh." "Excuse me." "Look!" " It's nice that you let Jesse rest while we get the wood." " Yeah, well sometimes you have to give women a little privacy, otherwise they'll talk to you." " What do you think of Jesse?" " I wish the fox had eaten her." "I like her too." " How do you like your sling?" "Is it okay?" " It's perfect!" "Listen Ugly..." "I don't want you to say anything, just listen... and no tears." "I hate tears." "I've been doing a lot of thinking and maybe I haven't been the best Dad." "But I was getting used to the job." "I'm even starting to miss it when it was just the two of us, if you can believe that." "And I know you like this girl and all and I don't blame you... much." "But we're a family now." "We got each other, we don't need anybody else." "I'm sorry, I don't even know why I'm" "Well go on then, I'm waiting." "I..." "I can't do it here," " I'd feel silly." " If you can't dance in front of me then how are you going to be able to dance in front of an audience?" "Well... okay here goes." "Yeah, come on, whoa" "You are too funny." "You're serious." "No wait," "I didn't mean to laugh!" "I just wasn't expecting something so..." "I just thought you would be less..." "I think the word you're looking for is 'ugly'." "nice going, Jesse." "So, how are you kids this morning?" "Sleep well?" " You couldn't be happier, could you?" " Whatever could you mean?" " You know exactly what I mean," " you've been trying to turn Ugly against me since" " For his own good!" " You're nothing but trouble!" " What?" "!" "Let me see." "So far you've broken your wing, his heart, and my blanket." "I broke his heart?" "!" "You're the one who told him he could dance." "What were you thinking?" "He's going to look like a freak up there!" " But you already know that, don't you?" " Look, success is success," " do you really think that once he's got it he's going to care where it came from?" " How can you say that?" "!" " You're all he's got..." "he trusts you." " Well I never asked him to." "Come on Ugly, we're going!" " But Dad!" "?" " Don't go Ugly!" " Jesse!" " Stay out of it, Geoff!" " Dad!" " Don't poke me!" " I didn't" " AAHH!" "Why don't you both just leave me alone!" " Ugly, come back!" "Stay away from me!" "I can take care of myself!" "Now look what you've done!" " Ugly!" " Easy there, Ugly." " That hurt." " The carnival." " That's right buddy," " we're going to the carnival." " No, Ratso." "The carnival!" "UGLY!" "We did it!" " Come on Ug!" "Let's roll!" " Oh..." "Sing along with me now." " Ah, ha, ha, ha." "Oh it's me lucky day." " No it's mine!" " Get out of me road!" " Give it to me!" " No, no it's right." "No, no go on." "Hey fellas!" "You know where I could find Ernie?" "Who wants to know?" " Yeah, but who are you?" " I'm Ratso, Ernie's cousin." "You're Ernie's cousin?" "Yes." " Phyllis!" " Hello Ratso." " Happy to see me?" " Of, course I've been looking all over for you." "Sure you have!" "Ratso?" "That's far enough, bird." "Now, where were we..." "Let's all just calm down while I explain..." "What's the matter, Ratso, cat got your tongue?" "Ph..." "Phyllis!" " Hold on Ratso, I'm coming!" " Ugly, no!" "Uhh..." " Nice try." " Oh great" "Wha..." "What's the matter too tubby?" " Oh They shouldn't laugh at him." " Oh They've got him mad now!" "Yeah I'm talking to you!" "Fat" "Fight fight fight!" "Fight fight fight!" "Ratso!" "Come on Bird!" "FLY!" "Come on you've got him now." "He can't get away." "Bad puss-puss!" "Bad puss-puss!" "Ratsooooooo!" "Ratso?" " What gives, Ernie?" "Eat him!" " William ssh!" " What!" "?" "Ernie?" " Cousin Ernie?" " Yeah!" "Get closer!" " Oh Ratso!" " Take it easy there big guy!" "How can a rat be related to a cat?" "Who cares?" "How are we going to get to Ratso now?" "Yeah OK, here we go!" " Hmmm It's obvious." " Ernie must have been adopted!" " Not that!" "We don't need to get to" "We don't need to get to" "Ah This is nice." "It's been so long since I've had family around" "I thought I was going to go crazy." "Ask William, he'll tell you." " Tell him yourself, fatso." " William, please, not in front of family." " "Ha!" "Family?" "!"" " Are you sure we're related?" " It's obvious!" "I'm furry, you're furry, we've both got eyes and we're both pretty." " yeah!" " If that's your cousin, I'm your mother!" "William!" "Ah, here we are." "Tonight we'll give them a show they'll never forget." " Tonight?" " Oh yeah, and not a moment too soon." "Ventriloquism isn't so popular any more." " We've had a really bad summer." " and I wonder why... oh yes!" " You're a no talent bum!" " William!" "Anyway, the point is we really need a new act." "Which reminds me, what's your big act anyway?" "My act!" "oh it's a..." "Well it's... a it's" "It's..." "It's..." "It's me!" "I'm the show!" "Ah..." "How nice!" "Look guys, about the show..." " ...maybe" " I know what you're thinking " ""what to wear right?" Don't worry, we'll fix you right up!" "You don't think we'd send you out on stage wearing that do you?" " But... this is my fur." " That's fur?" "!" " You don't have to do this you know." " What do you mean?" " Can't you see he's using you?" " What do you care!" " You're the one who laughed at me!" " Wake up Ugly, do you really think he's putting you on stage to dance?" "Not everybody looks at me and sees the monster that you do." "There it is!" "Mmm." "You see?" "It's perfect." "Not to mention cat-proof." "Who are you and what are you doing in my duck yard?" " Frank?" " I'm on it!" "That's settled then." "Stan, go and make the arrangements." "I have business to attend to." " He ah!" " Alright, Alright I'm going, I'm going." "Good evening ladies and gentlemen, he-gulls and she-gulls, welcome to the show..." " Can you believe how big that audience is?" " Pretty unbelievable." "I would have given up a long time ago if it hadn't been for you." "Whatever happens here I've got you to thank." "Listen Ugly, about the show..." "Ha, ha, how do I look?" "And have we got a show for you, tell the people what they want to hear, William!" "Oh It's big, it's horrific, it's hilarious and it's here!" "And there's only one guy we have to thank for that, please welcome my very own cousin, and I'm not going to lie to you - he's pretty, Raaaaatso!" " And a one and a two and a one..." " You're up, Ratso - the crowd is on fire!" "You know, maybe maybe you're not quite ready." "Ah don't worry about me, Dad, it's in my blood remember?" "You're a natural, just like your old man" "We've come a long way to be here tonight and it wasn't easy." "Oh for heaven's sake this is rubbish" "But it was fun." "Hey get on with it" "But now we're here and we're ready." "He looks, with concern, up to the covered sign above the stage." "The question is... are you?" "I'm sorry..." "I just can't do it." "Ah come on!" "Call that... an act?" "it's a load of rubbish!" " What's got into Ratso?" " He's ruining everything!" " Ernie, I'm starting to panic!" " Don't panic!" "Don't panic!" "What are we going to do?" "!" "Waste of time!" " I can't feel my legs!" " I'm going on." "That has to be the ugliest duckling in the world!" "ugliest duckling in the world!" "Is that why you brought me here?" "For people to laugh at me?" " No!" " Jesse was right." " That's the only reason you wanted me around." " Yes." "I guess I'm stupid and Ugly." "NO!" " UGLY!" " Help!" "UGLY!" " UGLY!" " If you ever want to see your freaky friend again," "Ratso, you'll find us at the duck yard." " Your crazy cat can't help you there!" " 'Crazy'?" "!" "cheering Marvelous!" "Ah brilliant!" "Do try to keep the place tidy." "We're expecting a very important guest." "You'll be waiting a long time if you expect that rat to come to anyone's rescue..." "He is the lowest, dirtiest, most double-crossing, selfish, nasty rat in the world." " Mam, step right up!" " Yeah!" "Yeeee-ha!" "giddy up, giddy up!" "Ernie?" " Just go ahead, I'll catch up with you" " OK Ernie" "Forget it Ern', this place is built to keep out cats." "Come up for air." "Never!" "I've got to keep trying..." "plus my head's stuck." " Oi Rat!" "Hello!" " Help us!" " Come on We'll have to swim for it." " I can't do it," " I'm afraid of the water." " What?" "!" " All cats are!" "Wait a second, I'm not a cat." " Jump on!" " William, you're a genius!" " Hurry!" " It's stuck!" "Well it's about time." " Let him go, Phyllis!" " I really don't think you're in any position to give orders - have you met my family?" "I'm Sorry" " That's my boy!" " Ernie!" "Am I happy to see you!" "Well shave my legs and call me princess, it looks like we've got ourselves a fight!" "Attack!" "Come on, put em up!" "put em up!" "I'll take a piece of you!" " Yes!" " Oh No!" " Ern!" " Yes!" " No!" "Ernie old boy talk to me" "Hey Ernie Somebody call a vet!" " What can you see?" " It's not good." "I guess by tomorrow it'll all be over for me." " There's, there's something I have to tell you." " It's not important." "You came back for me, that's all that matters, Dad." "Yes." "Well, you see, that's the thing." "I don't know how to tell you this, but as your father I thinks it's my duty..." "I'm not your father." " You knew?" " I'm not sure." "But it didn't seem to matter." "You were a father to me." "And if this is going to be our last night together, I don't want to waste a second of it." "Talk to me, Ratso." "It's time." "Dead rat walking!" "Dad..." " On your knees" " Don't be nervous, Ratso, it'll all be over before you know it." "No, wait, I'm too young!" "or what the?" "Isn't it Beautiful?" "!" " It's Ugly!" " Oh There's no pleasing some people" "Wait" "Stop the execution!" "Execution?" "This isn't an execution." "Uh!" "Ratso... you're getting married?" "!" " Ugly...?" "!" "You're a swan?" "!" " I'm a swan!" " Would someone like to tell me what's going on here?" " I don't think I can." " I don't think I want to." " I'll tell you what's going on!" "This sorry excuse for a rat, ran away a year ago, in the middle of our wedding!" " What?" " It was supposed to be my special day." "She forced me into it!" "She never loved me!" " Is this true?" " Of course it's true!" "How could anyone possibly love that!" "Unfortunately, that was the last single, no strings attached, rat in the city!" " But why would you want to marry someone you don't love?" " Oh, shut up!" "There's more to marriage than love!" "There's the ring!" "There's the cake!" "There's the flowers!" "And there's gifts!" "Millions of gifts!" " Now..." "MAKE ME MARRIED!" " Don't do it Dad!" "Whoa, whoa, whoa woah!" " I'm sorry, did you say 'Dad'?" " Uh-huh." " You've got kids?" "!" " I know, I'm so lucky." "And would you believe I have no idea who the mother is?" "SINGLE" " MALE" " NO - STRINGS" " ATTACHED!" " Daphne?" "!" " Ratso!" "Dad?" "Are you okay?" "It's time to come home," " time to join your own kind." " Home?" " Your place is with us now." "But..." "I can't just leave." "I'm not like you, I'm... different." "It matters not that you were born in a duck yard not when you have lain in a swan's egg." "Goodbye Dad." "Goodbye... son." "Me... a swan." " It's like a fairy tale." " You'll soon forget all about them." " But what if I don't want to forget?" " Ha..." "You don't seem to understand." "You are a swan." "Graceful, strong and beautiful." " Some things are more important than beauty." " True." " But until they're discovered, you should come with us." " What about love?" " Love?" "!" " Hmm." "Thanks guys, but I've got to go." " Eh?" "Ugly you're back!" " The swans were right, ...it's time for me to be with my own kind." "I mean you guys." "This is great!" "A little cheesy." "But this is great!" " Can I give you some fatherly advice?" " Sure." "A wedding is possibly the greatest place ever to meet a girl." "So what are you doing talking to me?" "Am I to understand that this thing's already been paid for?" " You came for a party, right!" " Yes!" "Well what are we waiting for?" "Lets party!"