"Hi, my name's Jack Osbourne." "My name is Kelly Osbourne." "I'm Aimee Osbourne, and I'm the oldest of the children." "My dad is Ozzy." "He's a famous pop star." "I love you, Daddy, very much." "Bye." "See you later." "Ozzy I think just basically doesn't have any rules." "He rewrites the rule book when and how he wants to, and he's been doing it for a lot of years." "The godfather of modern metal." "As many times as people have done the old..." ""Who's scarier..." "Alice or Ozzy..." kind of thing, it's like Bette Davis and Joan Crawford, you know?" "Who's scarier?" "It's too bad more people don't see his humor." "For me, Ozzy's a very funny man." "He's naturally a very funny man." "I've always said, "If singing doesn't work out, you could always be a fucking comedian."" "He was the lunatic singer... in one of my favorite rock and roll bands back then." "I never liked Black Sabbath as much as I like Ozzy on his own," "I must admit." "I think that his voice is his strong suit, and it's just as strong today as it was 20 years ago." "He proved to other artists... that you don't have to be Michael Bolton to get a career." "I mean, Ozzy's not the best singer in the world... and that's all due respect, neither am I... but we've both made a living for at least ten years out of it." "Being a success with one band, Black Sabbath, and then to be an even bigger success on my own... or at least as big a success... is, like, wow, you know?" "I often think, "Why me?" I'm not fucking complaining." "Oh yeah!" "Some people say my love cannot be true" "Please believe me, my love, and I'll show you" "I will give you those things you thought unreal" "The sun and moon, the stars, all bear my seal" "Yeah!" "Oh yeah!" "Follow me now and you will not regret" "Leaving the life you led before we met" "You are the first to have this love of mine" "Forever with me till the end of time" "Your love for me has just got to be real" "Before you know the way I'm going to feel" "I'm going to feel" "I'm going to feel... yeah!" "Where we came from was a pretty rough area." "It was me and five kids living in a two-bedroom house." "My father worked nights." "My mother worked days." "There was no money." "We never had a car." "We very rarely went on a holiday." "We were always in debt." "We never had enough to eat." "I could never keep a job." "I hated working fucking for other people." "I hated working in factories." "Believe me or not, when I left school I wanted to be a plumber." "And suddenly we hear about" ""If you're going to San Francisco be sure to wear a flower in your hair."" "And we're thinking, what the fuck is San Francisco?" "Where is this?" "What's all this flower shit?" "I've got no shoes on my feet." "I'm starving." "I don't want to work." "I got into a blues-rock band, and we never had nothing." "And we just thought, it's not real... for me." "It's all right if you're living in the sunshine San Francisco, but San Francisco was like someone coming to me and saying," ""Hey, Ozzy, do you fancy a trip to Mars?"" "You know." "We all lived within a five mile radius of each other, and we just got together." "Tony was always the forerunner because his mother had a shop." "He could get a little bit more cash than the rest of us... because we were all fucking bums, virtually, you know, so his mother would supply the truck... and his parents were very good to me, actually... his mother and father were..." "All our parents did the best they could to help us along." "One for the money, two for the show" "Three to get ready and go and go" "But don't you step on my blue suede shoes" "Do anything but don't you step on my shoes" "I know a girl, lives next door" "Be in the kitchen and write on the walls" "But don't you step on my blue suede shoes" "Do anything but don't you step on my shoes" "The original name of Black Sabbath was Earth." "None of us liked the name." "It wasn't really strong enough." "And we were waiting to go into a rehearsal in Birmingham." "Across the road was a cinema, and there was a horror movie on, and there was a line of people, and I think Tony says," ""Isn't it weird, man," ""that people pay money to see a movie that scares them." "Why don't we try to put that to like an evil kind of music?"" "And that's really the way it started, and we wrote the song Black Sabbath." "And on the ferry to Germany to do some work in Hamburg, we said, "Why don't we call the band Black Sabbath?"" "And Geezer thought of the name Black Sabbath." "My mother saw me on tour a while ago." "She still had a postcard I wrote from Hamburg to say," ""Mum, we just changed our name from Earth to Black Sabbath." "Maybe we'll make the big time."" "In brackets it was "the big time,"" "you know, like, as a joke, and Io and behold that's what happened." "Going home late last night" "All of a sudden I got a fright" "I looked through a window and surprised what I saw" "Fairy boots were dancing with a dwarf" "Yeah, fairies wear boots, and you got to believe me" "Yeah, I saw it, I saw it, I tell you no lies" "Yeah, fairies wear boots, and you got to believe me" "I saw it, I saw it with my own two eyes" "So I went to the doctor to see what he could give me" "He said, "Son, son, you've gone too far"" "'Cause trippin' and smokin' is all that you do" "But when we hit America, peaceful guys that come from Birmingham, England, we go to America, and we're like the fucking wild bunch." "They'd never seen anything like us." "We were fucking mad." "We just bought dope... and fucking drink and had groupies... and fucked anything that moved, and just did the whole thing." "It was just like..." "it was just crazy... we'd do seven nights a week, two shows a day... two matinees, and we were just fucking out of it... all the time." "I think it was the Easttown Theater or somewhere in New York City, and I think there was about 4,000 or 5,000 people there, and everybody was kind of sitting on their asses, and we'd had a similar thing happen in England," "but in England, what they were doing now, everybody was getting up, and Ozzy would really, you know, basically we would yell at... he'd yell at the audience." "In street language, it would be like," ""Why don't you get off your fucking assholes?" "Fucking rock!" You know?" "So, I guess that was an abusive way of treating the audience, and the audience wasn't reacting that well in New York, and I know I became very angry... because in those days, everybody would put their... the feelings were in the performance," "and when I played I didn't know what I was going to do." "I knew I was playing drums, and I could sense that Oz was becoming very frustrated... at that particular concert, and I remember throwing my drums at the audience... and we got a reaction." "Yeah, we got a reaction, and we did 7 encores that night, and by the time we reached Los Angeles," "3,000 miles away, they knew about us." "I'm a performer who goes on a stage... and would do absolutely anything to get that crowd crazy." "It's a challenge for me." "I've got to get them fucking screaming, you know." "Precious cups within the flower" "Deadly petals with strange power" "Faces shine a deadly smile" "Look upon you at your trial" "My father once said to me," ""There's two things I had in mind for you, either prison or something special."" "I love my father." "I always wanted to achieve something for my father... because my grades at school weren't that great, and I always felt that I let him down." "And for me to go in with a gold disc or something," "I had achieved something, and I made my father proud." "That was one of the things I'm really happy about." "Has he lost his mind" "Can he see or is he blind" "Is he live or dead" "Has he thoughts within his head" "He was turned to steel in a great magnetic field" "When he traveled time for the future of mankind" "Nobody wants him" "He just stares at the world" "Planning his vengeance" "That he will soon unfurl" "Ozzy is looked at as a legend." "Really, Black Sabbath with Ozzy influenced so much... of heavy music today." "He's sung some of the most classic heavy songs, and people will always want to hear those classics." "Ozzy was the integrity." "You can sit there and go, the big riffs of Tony Iommi and the great bass playing of Geezer and so forth, but Ozzy was what brought it down to the street level, what everybody could associate with," "what all the punters and all the kids could grasp." "It was Ozzy." "I don't think anybody said," ""Gee, Tony Iommi, he's my boy." It was Ozzy." "Tony Iommi and, to a point, Geezer Butler, you know, could have been from Madame Tussaud's." "They probably didn't even need to shower after the gig." "Ozzy took the hint or decided he's the main man here, so he needed the fringe jacket, the long hair, leaping up and down, the classic photographs, you know, clapping his hands with his knees under his chin... and three foot off the ground." "That was the Ozzy Osbourne image." "Come on!" "Now in darkness world stops turning" "Ashes where the bodies burning" "No more war pigs have the power" "Hand of God has struck the hour" "Day of judgment, God is calling" "On their knees, the war pigs crawling" "Begging mercy for their sins" "Satan, laughing, spreads his wings" "Oh, Lord, yeah!" "Come on, let's go!" "Both Bill and I were very fearful of Tony... because Tony was like the boss." "Tony became this big father figure." "It was like a situation that was supposed to be a band, yet whatever Tony wanted he got, but yet, when it came to the firing of me, he got Bill, who was my best friend," "who was my closest member of Black Sabbath... to come and do the dirty deed." "I didn't see him." "He was locked away in his room." "He was asked to leave, and it was me that asked him." "Tony had spoken to me about this, and I felt, at that particular time," "I was very dishonest, and I felt dishonest in my support towards Tony, and this is something that I shared with Oz, too." "I've told Oz that I was real dishonest... in the sense that I hung with the idea... of finding another singer." "It was a whole scam because..." "Tony had met Dio, who had been managed by Sharon's father Don Arden... and Tony didn't want me in the band anymore... and I knew what was going down, anyway, and I knew what was coming down." "It wasn't no surprise when I got fired." "I didn't go, like, "Golly!"" "I just... sort of, "Fuck this, it's over."" "I was kind of relieved somewhat." "But we were all fucked up anyway," "Tony was in his room doing quaaludes and blow all day long." "I'd be getting fucked up on booze, so would Bill, and we were all getting drugged out of our fucking heads." "And they were saying that I was out of my head all the time, so it was kind of the kettle calling the pot black." "Finished with my woman" "'Cause she couldn't help me with my mind" "People think I'm insane because I am frowning all the time" "All day long I think of things, but nothing seems to satisfy" "Think I'll lose my mind if I don't find something to pacify" "Can you help me" "Occupy my brain?" "Everyone was so frightened to say to Tony," ""I think you're fucking up."" "No one would ever say that..." "I was always a baddy, or Bill was always a baddy, or Geezer was always a fucking..." "I remember one time Geezer went on a holiday, and they wanted to get rid of Geezer." "No one would ever turn around and say," ""I think Tony Iommi's fucked." "We should get rid of him."" "Because everyone was scared of him." "He was kind of like the big daddy, you know." "He was like the boss, you know." "You could never... nobody would..." "He turned around once and said, "I'm leaving the band."" "And I said, "If you're leaving the band, good luck to you, but I ain't quitting..." "I'm going to carry on."" "And then when he heard that, he came back in... because he couldn't stand us carrying on without him... in case he wasn't a success, and he wanted Black Sabbath, his dream was to own Black Sabbath," "and to this day, he's still got it." "If it's a big success, great, and I sincerely, honestly mean that with all my heart." "He's got what he wants." "I don't choose to be involved in it." "I mean, people talk to me about Black Sabbath." "I've been solo now longer than I was with Black Sabbath." "When he was asked to leave Black Sabbath, he went on to far greater things anyway... in the material sense, in popularity and record sales, performance," "I mean, he kicked ass." "He was just, you know..." "I'm real proud of Oz." "I really am." "I mean, I love him to death." "Come on!" "When I did Live Aid, whatever romantic idea I ever had in my head... about Sabbath ever working again was virtually gone... because Randy Rhoads had come into my life." "I was now having fun with my rock and roll, whereas it wasn't fun towards the end with Sabbath." "It was just like a boring, mundane, moaning bunch of guys doing it to earn money." "There's been a lot of anger between Sabbath and I... and a lot of jealousy... and a lot of "I'm better than you" situation." "But I've got to confess... if there hadn't been a Sabbath, there wouldn't have been an Ozzy Osbourne." "And if there wasn't an Ozzy Osbourne," "I don't suppose there would have been a Sabbath." "Standing at the crossroads" "World spinning round and round" "Know which way I'm going, you can't bring me down" "Don't you try and teach me no original sin" "I don't need your pity for the shape I'm in" "I don't wanna change the world" "I don't want the world to change me" "I don't wanna change the world" "I don't want the world to change me" "Tell me I'm a sinner, I got news for you" "I spoke to God this morning and he don't like you" "For telling all the people the original sin" "He says he knows you better than you'll ever know him" "I don't wanna change the world" "I don't want the world to change me" "I don't want to change the world" "I don't want the world to change me" "You know it ain't easy" "You know it ain't fair" "So don't try and please me" "Because I really don't care" "Don't tell me stories" "'Cause yesterday's glories" "Have gone away" "So far away" "I've heard it said there's a light up ahead" "Lord, I hope and pray" "I'm here to stay" "Tell me I'm a sinner I got news for you" "I spoke to God this morning and he don't like you" "Don't you try and teach me no original sin" "I don't need your pity for the shape I'm in" "I don't wanna change the world" "I don't want the world to change me" "I don't wanna change the world" "I don't want the world to change me" "I don't wanna change the world" "I don't want the world to change me" "I don't wanna change the world" "I don't want the world to change me" "I hope it's a fucking hit, this record." "The thing I like least about myself... is the lack of confidence I have in myself." "I'm very insecure." "I'm very afraid." "When it's going great, it's the best feeling." "When it's going bad, I can't handle the bad side." "He's so sensitive about everything, the way people feel about him, on a professional level, on a personal level, everything he's so sensitive to, and he has never found that inner peace, in all the years I've known him," "where you can go to bed, you lie your head on a pillow, and you're gone, and he says to me, "How can you do it every night?"" "I have that inner peace, and he hasn't found it yet." "She's great." "She gets it all under control." "I don't know what I'd do without her." "Left to me and my devices, the first thing I do when it gets too heavy... is run to a bar or get some dope... or run away." "Flying high again" "Flying high again" "Flying high again" "Flying high again" "Come on and join me" "I sat down one day, and added the good and the bad, and all the bad things that ever happened in my life," "I've been drunk." "I mean, if I was sober," "I would have never urinated at the Alamo." "If I was sober," "I would never have walked into CBS and bit the head off a dove." "Ozzy has to fight that." "I never had that problem." "I don't mind being alcoholic... because it doesn't turn me into what it turns Ozzy into." "It turns Ozzy into a person he doesn't like... and a person that a lot of other people don't like as well." "It's a like a total Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde syndrome." "I'm not... nobody under the influence of alcohol or drugs... is the same person." "Otherwise, you wouldn't fucking take it." "If you were the same person, why waste your time pouring vats of booze down... or lines of coke." "You take that to change." "I didn't like the person I was changing into, yet I couldn't stand living sober." "Do you know, people..." "I've made many a statement... about being sober." "And what I can really say is," ""Sobriety fucking sucks."" "Demon alcohol" "Demon alcohol" "Demon alcohol" "Demon alcohol" "Let's party!" "I just don't know why I'm alive." "Get the fuck off me with that camera." "I don't honestly know why I'm still breathing, and I should be dead." "I should be dead 1,000 times." "We were drinking one day, and we were in this elevator, and you just hear this sound, and I looked down at him, and he's got these sweatpants on." "There's just piss running down the inside leg of his pants, and he's just standing there, like, minding his own business, like he didn't even know it was going on." "We'd get drunk, yeah, but we were never the kind... that would get totally, totally out of it, so, consequently, Ozzy would always be worse than us." "He was always a reference point... of how far you could take yourself." "We'd say, "Did you see what happened last night?"" "We'd never have been worse than he was." "He was definitely a role model, if that's the kind of life, the debauchery you wanted." "There was nobody better to judge it on." "I never drank socially." "I never took coke socially." "I never smoked dope socially." "I never shot Demerol socially." "I never did anything socially." "I did it to get fucked up." "So, I was instantly an addict." "I was born an addict." "I'm not going to make any magnanimous statement... that I'm cured, mate." "You know..." "I don't know..." "I could start tomorrow, but I choose not to today." "I don't think for other people." "I only think for me." "And if anybody out there is watching this, and they think I'm trying to wave the flag, I ain't." "If you want to get fucked up, it's your business." "Because I choose... my choice..." "If I want to start again, it's my fucking choice, man." "Nobody's forcing me to..." "My wife didn't say to me," ""If you don't stop drinking, I'm fucking leaving."" "I just woke up this one last time and said," "I want to give it another try." "Walking out on another stage" "Another town, another place" "Sometimes I don't feel right" "Nerves wound up too damn tight" "People keep telling me it's bad for my health" "But kicking back don't make it" "Out of control, I play the ultimate role" "But that's what lights my fire" "Hellraiser" "In the thunder and heat" "Hellraiser" "Rock you back in your seat" "Hellraiser" "And I'll make it come true" "Hellraiser" "I'll put a spell on you" "I'm not a devil worshiper, I'm fucking crazy." "I'm a true believer that I'm not sane." "When I'm up there performing, I'm definitely out of control." "I live on fear." "Before I go on, it's like my brain's going... around my head, you know." "And I hate people touching me, and, like, it's just, "Fuck off!"" "Because I'm psyching myself into a gig." "It's like it's my challenge." "It's my fight, my gig, it's mine." "That is why... all this shit..." "I own that gig for that hour and a half, and I've got to do my damnedest to get that fucking gig... the way I want to get that gig." "Get a little crazy for me!" "Let me hear you!" "Come on!" "You ain't loud enough!" "Come on!" "Come on!" "Let the madness begin!" "I happened to go to a concert of Ozzy Osbourne." "I wanted to see it myself." "I saw 17,000 kids there." "Not a smile in the whole group." "Very somber." "And it's not music." "I mean, an old guy like me, you'd say we didn't understand, well, I'm telling you it's not music." "It's frantic, frantic noise." "And I saw 17,000 kids that raised their hands like this... which is the sign of the devil, as you know, and they said, "Ozzy..." "Ozzy..."" "If you're not into Ozzy's music, you won't understand what Ozzy's about." "He makes it sound like it's a black mass, and it's not." "I don't go there and fucking try and turn them into frogs." "He's a wholesome kind of guy." "I don't know if I'd invite him to my mother's for dinner..." "Can you see any inverted crucifixes in my house?" "Do my kids come home from school in bat's wings and fangs?" "You ate with us last night." "Did you have anything unusual on the table?" "Did you have nightmares last night?" "Let me see your hands!" "I think Ozzy likes some of the attention around him... because I think that it's pretty obvious that... if he didn't like it, he could play the cards differently." "Mr. Crowley" "What went on in your head" "Oh, Mr. Crowley" "Did you talk to the dead" "Your lifestyle to me seemed so tragic" "With the thrill of it all" "You fooled all the people with magic" "Yeah, you waited on Satan's call" "I often compare myself with Vincent Price." "He is a man that has acted many roles... as devil worshiper and devil writer... and the weird things he's done." "And yet he writes books on cookery... he's supposed to be a good cook." "They don't hound him." "Yet I've sang a couple of songs about the devil, and they think I'm a devil worshiper." "What's the difference?" "My stage role is music, and Vincent Price's stage role is acting." "He cooks, and I live in a house with my kids." "Why'd he do that?" "This is Daddy... naked." "They know I'm not like the rest of their friends' daddies." "They know I'm different." "They just know me as Daddy, not as anybody else... because I've always been this person." "If all of a sudden, if I had my hair cut short... and had my tattoos removed... and got a job driving a car for fucking Lyons Ice Cream, then it would affect them..." ""What's he doing?"" "If I were just a kid on the street, and I picked up magazines... and only knew Ozzy by what I read of him," "I would think he was a lunatic." "And I think that's what Ozzy wants everybody to think." "Anybody who's on stage should not be themselves on stage." "They should be somebody else, and I think Ozzy's part of the split personality club." "When I play Alice, I become Alice." "When Ozzy plays Ozzy, he's nothing, you know, like he is offstage." "I think every performer has to have a split personality." "You don't see a clown walking down the street... with his big red nose and his funny suit on." "Under all that makeup, there is a human being... with feelings." "I remember one particular time we were in New York." "It was when Cardinal O'Connor did his shtick in church." "And he accused Ozzy of being a devil worshiper, and it was on the front page of the newspaper, and, of course, as usual," "I wouldn't discuss anything like that in front of the children, and I wanted to get my hands on this man." "He thinks he's doing good, but he's damaging many people... my people that I care about." "Well I know" "I could be just another stranger" "But to you" "I guess I'm just another fool" "And you swear" "You like to live your life in danger" "Then you hide" "Behind a wall of silly rules" "Nobody thinks the way I do" "I guess that nobody dares" "Your head's so full of things" "So set your mind free of them" "I'm breaking the rules" "Breaking all the rules" "Can't you see they're nothing without you" "Empty heads full of fools" "Now you see I'm breaking the rules" "Did you know" "That in the truth there's nothing stranger" "I suppose" "You think I think I know it all" "Nobody hears the things I say" "I guess that nobody cares" "My head's so full of things" "I set my mind free of them" "I'm breaking the rules" "Breaking all the rules" "Can't you see they're nothing without you?" "Empty head full of fools" "Now you see I'm breaking all the rules" "Breaking all the rules" "Well I know" "That you would love to go to heaven" "But you know" "That you're just too afraid to die" "And I know" "That you would love to know the answers" "But to you" "The truth is just another lie" "Nobody hears the things I say" "I guess nobody cares" "My head's so full of things" "I set my mind free of them" "I'm breaking the rules" "Breaking all the rules" "Can't you see they're nothing without you" "Empty heads full of fools" "Now you see I'm breaking all the rules" "Breaking all the rules" "Breaking all the rules" "Why don't you tell them" "Breaking all the rules" "Now let me tell you now" "Breaking all the rules" "Let's go crazy" "Breaking all the rules" "Now come on, now come on, yeah" "Ozzy and Sharon have always done the right business decisions... and some of these other bands who are up-and-coming." "Behind every great man there is a great woman... with a great left boot." "He and his wife Sharon had heard about us... and, you know, heard what type of band we were, and we weren't getting any breaks from anybody else." "Kiss had put us on tour for two weeks maximum, and we weren't getting any other offers." "We were determined to do what we do on our terms, and they gave us that opportunity." "When Motley Crue said to me, "Do you mind if we use pyro?"" "I said, "You can fucking set fire to yourselves." "Do what the fuck you like."" "What gives me the fucking right?" "It's Ozzy Osbourne plus Motley Crue plus whatever..." "One day it could be Motley Crue plus Ozzy Osbourne." "In Russia, he was having a hard time working out the billing." "He wants to go on here, and another band wants to go on here, and they're arguing back and forth, and Ozzy says, "Hey, man, whenever you want to put me on, put me on."" "And it was funny because here we are in Moscow, Russia, and as far as any of the bands were concerned, we were all club bands because none of our records... have ever been released there by any of these bands." "And you had no walkways and big pyro and anything, and you went out there and had to do your thing." "When Ozzy came out, he came out with this big bucket of water, throws it on the crowd, takes another big bucket of water and pours it on himself, and does his Ozzy:" ""I love you all."" "The place went nuts." "Rock and roll!" "Rock and roll!" "Rock and roll!" "Let the madness begin!" "Everybody clap your hands!" "People look to me and say" "Is the end near, when is the final day" "I know personally that I went back to the dressing room... and went, "We're going to have to think of something great."" "Because you had a master at work, you know." "Ozzy was the star of the Moscow Music Peace Festival." "Or some other Black Sabbath song because Ozzy's in the building." "Maybe he'll sing with us, that kind of vibe." "At the end of the tour, their manager comes up to me... and says, "Do you think it'd be possible for them to come up... and play Paranoid with you?"" "I said, "Sure, man, fuck it."" "So, we all got up and played Paranoid." "And they were all... you've never seen smiles on guys' faces in your life." "There were like grins from ear to ear, you know." "We were in Florida, and we were getting outrageous, and Ozzy would top us, and we would top him, and it was going back and forth throughout the tour, and that particular night, the news station came into the dressing room," "and we had smashed up the dressing room, and we were drunk and were going off the deep end... and kind of felt like we had topped anything Ozzy would do." "Go into Ozzy's dressing room with the video crew... and Tommy and Mick and Vince and myself... and there's Ozzy sitting in this chair in drag." " Right?" " He is a master of disguise." "And he's out of his mind, totally out of his mind." "He goes, does the show, comes down these huge stairs during the show." "There's big bats on each side of the bannisters." "Comes down, pulls up his dress, and he's got on these old man, Fruit of the Loom underwear, those big white kind, and goes, "Let's get fucking crazy!"" "And 15,000 people went crazy." "It was great." "We were just going, "Fuck!"" "I can imagine what Ozzy and Motley Crue must have been like." "It must have been a journalist's dream... to catch that kind of thing." "You'd have had the script for Spinal Tap II in five minutes." "That tour with Motley Crue..." "I don't know how any of us survived." "I mean, because after that tour, we all ended up in treatment centers." "All of us." "The whole fucking lot of us." "Now you know what would be a hell of a tour?" "Fucking 2 Live Crew and Ozzy Osbourne." "That would be very interesting." "That would cause some shit:" "2 Live Crew and Ozzy Osbourne." "Taught by the powers that preach over me" "I can hear their empty reasons" "I wouldn't listen I learned how to fight" "I opened up my mind to treason" "But just like the wounded and when it's too late" "They'll remember They'll surrender" "Never a care for the people who hate" "Underestimate me now" "But a shot in the dark" "One step away from you" "Just a shot in the dark" "Nothing that you can do" "A shot in the dark" "Always creeping up on you" "I'd like to be remembered as a rock and roll performer." "One of the greats, if you like." "I don't relish the fact that when I die, they'll put on my stone," ""Ozzy Osbourne:" "The man that bit the head off a bat and a dove... and urinated at the Alamo... and caused the death of several kids through his music."" "Even though that incident with the bat and the dove... happened years ago, even now people go to me," ""Oh, I know you, you're the guy that kills animals." "You kill things..." and all that shit." "Obviously there are things that Ozzy's done... that are pretty easy to ridicule, but I think that it's definitely..." "You know, there comes a point where it gets silly, and things get so blown out of proportion, and obviously that happened many years ago." "I mean, when he was doing all the dove stuff, you know, when he bit the head off a dove and a couple of... these other incidents like pissing on the Alamo... and some of those things... those are things that I think were very tongue in cheek." "The dove was a total freak of nature." "I was absolutely drunk, and I was being introduced to the L.A. Branch of CBS, and my wife said to me," ""Go in and throw these two doves in the air."" "And I was drunk..." "I'd drunk a bottle of booze... and I threw one up in the air, and they were all sitting around the board room table, and I bit the head off the other one and threw it on the table," "thinking they would see the funny side of it, and they really didn't see the funny side of it." "The bat was, um... was kind of an accident, which I did milk somewhat." "Some guy in the audience threw it..." "It was, like, the Diary of a Madman Tour, and it was kind of like..." "I always wanted to..." "I always used to like custard pie fights, but I had like a custard pie fight on stage but using meat." "I used to throw meat out at the audience, and the audience would bring meat to the concert... and throw it back." "But as this went on on the tour, it got worse." "People were bringing dead cats and throwing them on... and all kinds of snakes and frogs and rats and all..." "And somebody threw a bat, and I thought it was one of those Halloween rubber things, and I just bit into it, and it was a real bat." "I thought that with a little salt and pepper they're better... bats are a little better..." "and mayonnaise sometimes." "It depends on what month." "If you get a good bat at the right month, then it's a lot tastier." "Um, I was more of a chicken man myself... but I could see somebody..." "he's more a continental taste, and bats, I can understand that." "Unbeknownst to me, bats are the biggest carriers of rabies in the world, so I had to go straight from the gig to a hospital." "The guy said, "We better give you some precautionary shots."" "I had one in each rear, one in each arm, and one in the top of my leg, and I had to have that every night." "So, for anyone who thinks it's cool..." "If you want to be a complete dick, try it." "One of the things I did regret... was the incident at the Alamo." "Not because I urinated at the Alamo, but because I've got so many kids down there... that love my music, and I got so many hundreds and thousands of letters... from San Antonio saying, "Please come back."" "But I was banned from San Antonio." "But after all these years," "I've just found out they've lifted the ban." "I hope it sticks... because I want to go back to San Antonio and play a gig." "I would love to have been the policeman that arrested him." "I think I would have let him go." ""You piss on the Alamo, you piss on America, boy."" "I wanted to take a piss..." "I piss a lot, as you've noticed." "He came into our dressing room once, he just had a pair of shorts on, and he was out of his mind on something." "Well, probably had a few drinks, you know." "And he went up to the window, and he opened the window, and he took a piss out the window." "He just stood there like this." "I think it was Sav or Pete Willis, our old guitar player, was looking out a different window, and the kids were still queuing up to get in, and he was pissing on them, and I think to this day he doesn't even know he did it." "These kids probably thought, "Wow, it's raining here."" "I think looking back on Ozzy's solo career," "I mean, the '86 tour that we were part of... that was probably when all the conservative groups... and just all the hoopla was at its highest." "Everybody was fucking watching his, like, every move." "A lot of it is exaggerated in the press, but it's no more exploitation than what Madonna does." "For Ozzy it's a bat or a dove or a bottle of gin or whatever." "For Madonna it's a pair of stockings and a corset." "There's no difference, really." "I'm just glad that Ozzy doesn't wear the corset." "I'm not complaining about it because it's all show biz." "It's..." "I wanted to be recognized." "It's all part of recognition." "I've got to be truthful about this." "I milk it to a point." "I have to." "Otherwise, I'm some kind of a fucking dummy." "I want to make dough." "I like making lots of dough." "The case he was first involved with regarding these issues... was the McCollum case here in Southern California, and that was a case in which the allegations were made... that the lyrics of his song somehow were meant... to encourage young people to commit suicide." "And that was the allegation, a preposterous allegation, a very tragic case where a young man was very troubled... and had alcoholic and drug problems... did commit suicide, and the parents, for whatever reason," "chose to shift whatever the problems were... from their shoulders and the family's shoulders to Ozzy." "First of all, the basic facts in the case itself... is that when the coroner walked into John's room... he found he'd been listening to the Ozzy Osbourne record, he had a revolver in his hand, and he had committed suicide." "That's the basic information that the coroner had." "You ask me what was I trying to prove." "Simple..." "There's a penal code section in California... that says it's a felony... to promote somebody else to commit suicide." "We said they violated that penal statute." "They said..." "CBS said... that that's not true." "This is a violation of... the first amendment of the United States Constitution." "First, there were no facts to indicate..." "Ozzy ever intended any harm to anybody." "And secondly, that the Constitution provides... that artists, talent... can't have their creativity stifled... because a minor segment of society becomes offended." "The admitted lyrics, as you know, on the jacket were," ""Make your bed, rest your head," ""Don't you know what it's all about" "Suicide is the only way out."" "Then I heard there was somewhat of a subliminal message." "The first thing that we discovered is... that there was a phenomenon known as hemisync." "The experts told me that hemisync is a tone... that results in two things:" "Exciting a person's understanding of what is said... and making them unable to resist what's said." "Does this guy think I'm a fucking scientist... or a rock star?" "I mean, the only "sync" I've ever heard of... is the one you wash your fucking face in every morning." "Then we found some lyrics." "Something where there was supposed to be music... in fact was words that said," ""Get the gun, get the gun, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot."" ""Get the gun, get the gun, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot."" "I'm speechless." "I mean, "Get the gun"?" "To be perfectly honest with you, there is an effect on there." "I was fucking around in the studio, and we put it through an echo thing, and I've listened to it myself and you could misinterpret it... as saying "Shoot."" "But that wasn't my intention." "We didn't sit down and..." "I never said get the fucking gun." "There's no..." "I mean..." "on my kids' life," "I swear to God above that I never..." "I'll swear on oath that I never said," ""Get the gun, and shoot, shoot, shoot."" "If Ozzy were to lose this type of a case... anyone who misconstrued the lyrics of a song... could go out and sue the artist to recover huge sums of money... just because they had a bizarre misinterpretation... or a bizarre emotional reaction to music," "and that would end of what we understand as freedom of speech." "Absolutely true." "You see, it's like, for instance, talk about misinterpretation." "I thought that Jimi Hendrix, in Purple Haze, sang," ""Excuse me while I kiss this guy"... for many years." "And in fact he was singing," ""Excuse me while I kiss the sky."" "And I remember when I had... when me and Howard Weitzman went to the press reception." "The guy turned around to me..." "one of the reporters... and I'm crapping myself on this dais, and one of the reporters turned to me and says..." ""Isn't it true that you sing, in Paranoid," "I tell you to end your life?"" "And I says, "No"..." "in three seconds," "I've got to go through this lyric in my head." "I says, "No, you got it wrong." ""I sing in that song, I tell you to enjoy life... not "end your life."" "I tell you to enjoy life" "I wish I could, but it's too late" "Well, we always have a message in our albums... for the right wing." "Suck our dick." "We have messages there for them." "And they take your music, and they listen to it... like, here, they break the shit down." "We have it all broken down for them." "How they can suck it." "Suicide is slow with liquor" "Take a bottle drown your sorrows" "Candied thoughts await tomorrows" "Await tomorrows" "Evil thoughts and evil doings" "Cold, alone you hang in ruins" "Thought that you'd escape the reaper" "You can't escape the master keeper" "'Cause you feel life's unreal and you're living a lie" "Such a shame, who's to blame, and you're wondering why" "Then you ask from your cask is there life after birth" "What you saw can mean hell on this earth" "Hell on this earth" "It's still on the set, you know." "They still like to hear it." "If people only knew how we wrote that song." "I didn't sit in a fucking dark room with salt round me... and a dead bat and a frog's leg..." "I was drunk, as usual... and Randy was tuning up his guitar." "And he just slid is finger... like a riff." "I said, "That's a great riff." He said, "What riff?"" "I said, "What you just played."" "He says, "I didn't play anything."" "I says, "That thing you just played there, man."" ""You mean this?"" "I says, "Yeah, do it twice."" "I said, "I got a great lyric for it."" "And he says, "What's that?"" "I said, "Wine is fine, but whiskey's quicker."" "The lyric came from the fact that Bon Scott, the original singer from AC/DC, had recently died of some over-abuse, you know." "In actual fact he died from hypothermia in his car." "He was drunk, and he fell asleep in his car, apparently... and he never woke up." "It was winter, and he froze to death, but he was unconscious from too much alcohol." "The point that I was trying to get across in that song is... that alcohol in my opinion is the worst drug in the world... because of the availability." "You can buy alcohol anywhere." "It's legal to drink it... at a certain age." "But we all did things illegal." "To do things illegal, for some reason, has a better kick." "When you're 14, and you get a six-pack, and you go down by the creek, and you drink the six-pack with your buddies, and you get a bit loaded, and it's more fun." "My father said to me when I was 14," ""If I ever catch you smoking cigarettes, you'll be grounded for 3 months."" "So, what did I do?" "Buy a carton and smoke." "As far as I'm concerned as a police officer... with 22 years of experience... and as a juvenile officer for the last nine years, there is no greater influence on a child, whether it be a teen adolescent or younger," "than parental influence, concern, and responsibility." "If you're worried that your kid is going to go buy the record, well maybe the problem stems from your house." "Wake up, Mom, you know, it's time to maybe have a talk with young Johnny... and see what's good for you is good for Johnny, and the family feels good about it." "It's an on and off switch." "As a parent, if I see my kids are having too much chocolate, candy, Coca-Cola..." "I'll say, "That's enough."" "The essence of this bullshit morality in America... is that people want to sweep shit under the carpet." "They don't want to really see anything that's happening." "They want to pretend that it's all the American dream... and working on your Chevy on a Sunday... smoking a pack of Marlboro... except you can't be seen to smoke a pack of Marlboro." "No rock and roll song has ever made anybody commit suicide... unless they were already likely to do so anyway." "Now, I've tried to take my life three times." "It wasn't Ozzy's fault." "It wasn't your fault, Jeb." "It was my fucking problem." "It wasn't my parents' problem." "It was my responsibility." "It's my life... and I always... whenever I'm asked that question..." "I say, "Look, better take a look at the parenting going on here."" "My son, he's 17 years old, and if my son is feeling depressed or whatever," "I say, "How are you doing?" I talk to my kids." ""How are you doing?" "How are you really doing?" ""What's really going on?" "Do you want to talk to me?" ""Well, if you don't want to talk to me right now," ""let me know..." "I'm here." "I'm letting you know I'm here if you want to talk to me."" "And I share what I've been through with my kids." "Don't lock it up in a closet." "Don't tuck it away somewhere." "That's how fucking kids are dying... because they've got to find it their own way." "As far as I'm concerned, it's about love." "It's about fucking caring." "It's about saying, "How are you doing today?"" "It's about checking in with your kids." "Suicide, as far as I'm concerned, is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." "I'll never forget when I went down... and bought the single called Crazy Train." "It was so good." "I was so pleased for him... because I knew he was going to make it, and I knew from the press... that Ozzy was so worried about leaving Sabbath." "He was very frightened to go and make it on his own... because he wasn't sure he was going to be able to do it... because he was so used to having that support behind him... of the band." "He was frightened and didn't know what to do, and of course, he met up with Randy, and off he went." "I remember I went to see him at his first gig in Glasgow." "When they walked on to a theater stage, it was just unbelievable." "It was just unbelievable." "Ozzy and I had been pacing the streets earlier on, and he was going, "How many kids will be there?"" "Because with shows like this, at that particular time, kids would come on the day." "It was very rare..." "and especially in Glasgow, where there's not a lot of money anyway... that something would sell out before... and we were pacing the streets, up and down, you know, and I'm trying to tell him it was going to be cool." "Everything's going to work out." "It's going to be great." "And I remember he came on stage, and he was so overwhelmed with the response... that he got from the kids... because he never had done this before solo-wise, he had always done it with Sabbath," "and he didn't know how people were going to take to him." "I remember he did all the Blizzard of Oz album... and about four Sabbath numbers, and he was so emotional that he started crying on stage." "He didn't know sort of like how to handle the audience... because he couldn't believe the reception he was getting, and he couldn't believe that..." "It was almost like that minute on stage, he realized that he could do it himself, he realized that he had made it, and he realized this was a lifetime ambition... come to him in that brief moment on stage." "Crazy" "But that's how it goes" "Millions of people living as foes" "Maybe, yeah, yeah, it's not too late" "To learn how to love" "And forget how to hate" "Mental wounds not healing" "Driving me insane" "I'm going off the rails on a crazy train" "I'm going off the rails on a crazy train" "I know that things are going wrong for me" "You gotta listen to my words" "Yeah" "Thank you!" "I don't for one minute think he'd be still playing with me." "On that last bus journey from Knoxville to Orlando... he turned to me and said he wanted to quit rock and roll, and he wanted to go to UCLA... and get a degree in classical guitar, and I said to him, "Are you fucking crazy?" ""We just broke the ice." ""Wait till we get some success and money under our belts." "You got the rest of your life to do that."" "And he wasn't a guy who was into being a mega-rock star." "He was a musician." "He was a..." "He tried it, he was a success of it, and he wanted to move on." "He was an old soul." "When you met Randy, he was incredibly knowledgeable." "He had that inner peace that I was talking about." "He had a strength with him that a mature man would have, and he was in his early 20s." "Yeah, he was great, Randy was." "He was a really nice guy." "Dead quiet." "Used to have a guitar lesson in every town." "He used to go and get some Al DiMeola-type guy in, and he'd have a lesson." "It was really weird." "Before or after sound check, he'd be having guitar lessons." "He hardly said a word to us, but it wasn't out of rudeness." "He was just so quiet." "He'd very rarely break into big conversation, but he was such a nice guy." "Randy and Ozzy really worked well together." "They just knew what the other one was going to do." "Like Ozzy has mentioned to me, he said, "I didn't even need to turn around." ""I knew what Randy was doing, and Randy knew what I was going to do."" "We had this thing going." "I'd go... and it'd be there." "I wouldn't even have to..." "I knew where he would be..." "I knew what he would be doing." "We had this communication going." "It was, like, incredible." "Randy also, in a way, discovered Ozzy... because it was the first time that Ozzy had been solo." "It was a big step for Ozzy Osbourne after Black Sabbath." "It was a tough act to follow." "And Randy... they sort of together made it." "Randy gave Ozzy as much of a lease of life... as Ozzy gave to Randy because Randy was great." "He couldn't play Asteroids worth a shit." "I always beat him all the way across America." "He was a good boy and a great guitar player, but more importantly, he worked with Ozzy very well... to sit down together and write songs." "Without him, Ozzy couldn't have done the album Blizzard of Oz." "I went over to visit Randy in England, and it was about two weeks before they were ready... to go on their first tour." "And we were sitting waiting for a rehearsal to start." "Randy was sitting on this side, I was in the middle, and Ozzy was on that side, but I hadn't met Ozzy yet, so I was sitting there and waiting and waiting, and I said, "Well, when is Ozzy coming?"" "That was an embarrassing moment because Ozzy was right there." "So that was my introduction to Ozzy." "She thought I was a roadie." "I used to go drinking with the roadies... because Randy would drink, but nothing like I would." "I was just killing myself on a daily basis, and..." "I just drank, you know." "The road crew was renowned for drinking, so I would always hang out with them drinking, and I was fat... and she just thought I was a fucking roadie." "Ozzy has always been very, very faithful, loyal, and sincere... about his feelings about Randy." "I appreciate that." "I loved him as a person, I loved him as a human being." "I suppose at that time, when he died... a part of me died with him... because he was the first person that came into my life... and gave me hope." "Very rarely do you... ever walk into a rehearsal room, and you feel that magic, that electricity." "And when I walked into this rehearsal room, it was like, you know, your hair stood up on your arm." "There were two of the most special people..." "I had ever worked with in my entire career." "If you were to sit down and try and manufacture... what you think the epitome of a rock star should be," "Randy Rhoads." "One of the weirdest things of all... is when I did the video for the tribute to Crazy Train, and I asked Mrs. Rhoads if I could get his flying V polka-dot guitar..." "She hadn't opened that guitar since the day he was dead... the day he died." "And it was like a time warp." "I opened this box, and I really got cold shivers... because there were things left in his guitar case, like his cigarettes, and his little bits and pieces, and his strings had gone rusty, and I was like..." "I remember fucking freaking out... when I saw them." "When I was with Black Sabbath, I never felt worth anything... because I couldn't contribute musically." "When Randy came along and was my partner..." "I remember when we wrote Goodbye to Romance," "I had this melody, and I kept humming the melody..." "He lived in my house when I lived with my ex-wife... in Staffordshire." "And he said, "What's this song?" I said, "It's a melody."" "He said, "Well, sit down, we'll write it."" "He said, "Hum it to me."" "And then he got the chords on the guitar, and we wrote Goodbye to Romance." "And Bob Daisley came along, he put the bass on, then we worked it all out." "In Sabbath, I would never have fucking dreamed of that." "I've been the king I've been the clown" "Now broken wings can't hold me down" "I'm free again" "The jester with the broken crown" "It won't be me this time around" "To love in vain" "I said goodbye to romance" "Yeah" "Goodbye to friends" "I tell you" "Goodbye to all the past" "I guess that we'll meet" "We'll meet in the end" "And I feel the time is right" "Although I know that you just might say to me" "What you gonna do" "What you gonna do" "But I have to take this chance" "Goodbye to friends and to romance" "And to all of you" "And to all of you" "Come on now!" "I said goodbye to romance" "Yeah" "Goodbye to friends" "I tell you" "Goodbye to all the past" "I guess that we'll meet" "We'll meet in the end" "Thank you!" "Somebody once told me," ""You're as big as your last hit record."" "Well, that's really unfair as an artist... because the guy that painted the Mona Lisa... didn't paint 25 Mona Lisas." "But he's still an artist." "Times have changed and times are strange" "Here I come, but I ain't the same" "Mama, I'm coming home" "Hello, my name is Mr. Osbourne." "Is it possible to speak to my wife Mrs. Sharon Osbourne?" "You could have been a better friend to me" "I'm fucking useless!" "That was great except for "me."" "That was great except for "me." Everything was great." "I wish my wife would talk to me." "I hate that fucking cold shit." "I'd rather she say to me, "You are the biggest asshole,"" "and get it over with instead of this..." ""What's the problem, darling?" "Nothing."" "You made me cry, You told me lies" "But I can't stand to say goodbye" "I'm supposed to be the heavy metal madman." "I'm not afraid of anything." "Only my wife." "I could be right, I could be wrong" "It hurts so bad, it's been so long" "Keep that emotion, whatever you're doing." "It sounds killer." "I'm squeezing my left nut." " Lf that's what it is." " Well, good." "Play it from the top then." "Well, here we are once again." "Randy Castillo was supposed to be here at 3:00." " He's always late." " And as you can tell, it's about 3:30..." "a little after 3:30." " We're always waiting on Randy." " He's always late." "He is one individual who will be late for his own funeral." "He will." "He'll be late for his funeral." "Oh, hark, the drummer cometh." "We hear him." " Am I late?" " Yeah, late again." "I always knew what I wanted to be" "I knew for sure, I knew for sure" "Always knew it was them or me" "I wanted more, more and more" "It's all right, It's OK" "None of them people gonna take it away" "'Cause they don't know like I know" "And I can't stop because it drives them crazy" "Yeah, like that." "A little snotty." "Oh, fuck!" "Relax." "It's so fucking frustrating when you can't get it on." "It's not so easy these days to make records." "It's kind of like giving birth." "I tend to get too emotionally involved with it... because I ultimately have to like my record." "I have to live with my record." "Just don't get uptight about it, you know." "When I get uptight, I sing better." " Oh, OK, well get uptight." " Get uptight about it." "What do you think of the lyrics?" " Need a few changes." " OK." "From morning to night you still worship the dead." "What?" "You still worship the dead." "I want to try to get away from this fucking black haddock shit." "It's all that doom shit." ""I woke up this morning and shot myself twice."" "Oh, that's a good line." "I woke up this morning" "And I shot myself twice" "I met with Ozzy several times and went to rehearsals... involving his new album... and I think the main reason... that we didn't make a record together was... the record that I had in mind and the record Ozzy wanted... were two different records." "He was into the old Sabbath way of recording." "The darker sides, Iron Man, and the heavy-duty hardcore metal riffs." "One of the frustrating things about me... when I was with Sabbath is that I wanted to go in... a different direction." "I wanted to write more songs as opposed to more... musical riffs with vocals on, going to these bizarre changes." " You know how were changing..." " Please don't leave me alone." "Shut the fuck up." "We're using different descriptive words, and all of a sudden "haunting" comes in... it's just, "Oh brother."" "I'm the leader of this band, and no one takes a fucking... blind bit of notice." "It is called the Kenny Osbourne..." "Ah, shut up." "Let's go out there, baby!" "Right here!" " Yeah, step outside, man." " Yeah, step outside!" "Shut the fuck up." " We got to redo that one." " The first one?" "The first one for those first two." "The third one and the third one... and the fourth one and the fifth one... should be the second one and the fifth one." "Well, halfway through the second one, though, we can match up with the fifth one." "That's correct." "It's a lot of fun making a record, you know." "Come on, man, get your fucking shit together." "All the way from England to be insulted." "It's the same old desire" "Crazy train, Crazy train" "Burning like fire" "Don't you ever take my name in vain" "Oh yeah" "At this stage of the game, there's other people around putting ideas in my head." "Everybody wants to start advising me what to do, and I get confused, you know." "I want the best record ever." "I want the best record in the world." "Fucking hell, this is what I need now." "Heaven." "Oh, by the way," "I'd like to introduce you to my bass player Mikey." "He's a great kid." "He drinks good beer." "Mikey's great." "Mikey was the instigator to No More Tears." "Drum fills are fucking cool." "In my opinion, anyone who beats fucking skins for a living... has got to be weird." "But Randy Castillo really contributed an awful lot, and also Zakk did as well." "But Zakk's heart is leaning towards the country rock, and I have no right to stop him." "He came along with me, and he was a Randy Rhoads freak, he was a Sabbath freak." "He knows every Sabbath song that ever was written... probably more than I do." "He'll probably, at the end of this, form a country rock band." "And I wish him all the luck in the world." "I don't own anybody." "I have another title idea." "You know something?" "This is it, I got it, I fucking have it... because it plays off that." "There was this author a few years ago." "Her name was Anais Nin." "Her book was Ladders to Fire." " Ladders to Fire?" " Yes." "That's interesting." "Because it makes you think of the heavens... because usually the hell would be below, so the idea of ladders to fire..." " Yeah." " It plays with that concept." "Yeah, it's a good idea, man." "Ladders to Fire..." "Ladders to Fire." "Roll playback." "Look straight at the camera." "I just said look at the camera, and you say put my head down..." " No, no, no." " This guy says put my head up." "Don't know what you fucking want." "And we shoot it from underwater up here... when we lower the tank." "We'll lower the cage and the tank." "If you go low, if you reach out..." "And then we have an underwater housing... that's going to make it so we can be completely submerged." "Oh, no!" "Still..." "He who laughs last is just a hand in the bush." "You're finished." "Jump up." "The light in the window is a crack in the sky" "A stairway to darkness in the blink of an eye" "A levee of tears to learn she'll never be coming back" "The man in the dark will bring another attack" "Your mama told you" "That you're not supposed to talk to strangers" "Look in the mirror" "Tell me do you think your life's in danger" "Here..." "Yeah" "No more tears" "No more tears" "No more tears" "No more tears" "Another day passes as the night closes in" "The red light goes on to say it's time to begin" "I see the man around the corner waiting" "Can he see me?" "I close my eyes and wait to hear the sound of someone screaming" "Here" "No more tears" "No more tears" "No more tears" "No more tears" "It's just a sign of the times" "Going forward in reverse" "Still he who laughs last" "Is just a hand in the bush" "So now that it's over can't we just say goodbye?" "I'd like to move on and make the most of the night" "Maybe a kiss before I leave you this way" "Your lips are so cold I don't know what else to say" "I never wanted it to end this way" "My love, my darling" "Believe me when I say to you in love I think" "I'm falling" "Here" "No more tears" "No more tears" "No more tears" "No more tears" "Is just a hand in the bush..." "After it's all said and done..." "I wouldn't change a fucking thing... because if I drop down dead now, I've had such an eventful life." "I'd rather be doing what Ozzy Osbourne is doing today... than anything else." "I would rather have done what Ozzy Osbourne has done... than anything else because, let's face it, it beats going down a coal mine or delivering milk... or working in a fucking office." "At least I've had a lot of fucking experience... and a lot of fun." "And I've lived life to its fullest." "When I was being born, the doctor said," ""You're having another girl."" "And when I popped out," "Daddy saw my willy, and he fainted."