"DIARY OF A SUICIDE" "To my father Aleksa 1902-1970" "Hello." "Talkative, as usual ..." "Why do you hide like that?" "Don't you ever dance in the evening?" "Or have a drink?" "And where are your eyes, all day?" "Show me them." "If they're as nice as your glasses, you have the most beautiful eyes in the world." "And if your soul ..." "But like all interpreters, you have no soul, only a body." "Should I translate all that?" "For the fourth time?" "One of the most beautiful cathedrals in the world." "Beautiful because never finished." "Because it's nothing but a decor." "But what a decor!" "The only existing decor worth seeing from both sides." "Fortunately, God is just." "After 40 years of construction ... with the first wall finished ... he had the architect killed." "And now ... three minutes for photos." "Listen ..." "It wasn't for you to translate." "Do you like seagulls?" "Seagulls?" "Seagulls." "14,000 tourists visit this island every day." "A magnificent island." "Especially when it's your first visit." "For me, it's not bad." "It's a special day for me." "It's my hundredth visit in the past three years." "Now, you have time off." "Seagulls." "Well?" "Well?" "You're not curious." "Why do seagulls reassure me so much?" "You, you don't hide behind glasses inside your cabin." "Seagulls ..." "You noticed something ..." "So ..." "I exist to you." "Really." "You don't give up, do you?" "All right, if you want to make me happy, tell me something beautiful." "Beautiful?" "Beautiful." "Beautiful?" "Beautiful." "Beautiful ..." "How about ..." "It has no end." "The whole thing is an end." "You should have said so." "Perhaps." "How about ..." "What was that?" "It's rather sad." "Once ..." "And you won't find all this elsewhere." "In short, it's the deal of the century." "Indeed, sir." "We have no need of it here." "Why not?" "We have everything we need here." "Unbelievable!" "Everyone tells me the same." "Oh. you know. people here ..." "What can you possibly have in this dump?" "Everything, sir!" "What?" "Two cafes. a church." "a police station. a hotel ..." "Tranquility, sir." "And time passing slowly." "And what else?" "That's not everything." "The theater, for example." "A proper one?" "Not really, but performers come by sometimes." "Today, in fact!" "Lonely shore" "Of languorous mist and marsh" "Where the trees' gnarled fingers pass" "'Neath the water's stagnant skin" "0!" "Sorry scene." "Far off, the crashing winds" "Leave tumult in their wake" "The moon breaks through" "A sky of shattered slate" "The ghoulish shriek" "Rebounds" "From ruin" "To wreck" "Soulless, ageless" "Like this shore" "This gloomy shore" "This shore" "Of tortuous, dull decay" "When snow falls, all is feath'ry sea" "The wind stops dead, it hides away" "Foretelling sad, sad days" "Sad, sad days" "Sad, sad days" "Ladies and gentlemen," "I thank you with all my heart for your kind appreciation of this marvelous singer, my wife." "I can't thank you enough." "And now, it's my turn." "As a world-famous actor," "I am mentioned in glowing terms in every country I've Visited." "All are sorry to see me leave, and rightly so." "You'll see, as I'll perform for you the play which secured my reputation." "I shall play every role and I know you'll agree with my many fans." "This play is based on the memoirs of the genius, Albert Zweistein of whom you have all surer heard." "He's mad!" "Is he going to start or not?" "The lunatic won't begin!" "Go on!" "Yes, you're on air!" "Oh, right." "Speak!" "Go on!" "Yes, you!" "I mean, none of that matters." "I'll tell you what I really think." "You're all watching and listening now." "You feel obliged to, because of my little Nobel prize." "But deep down, you don't care about me." "Yes, I know!" "I'm not surprised!" "Prepare the documents!" "I lost one eye, so I could see better with the other." "I spent forty years exploring the human body, trying to save it from premature destruction" "But I never forgot What humans really are." "Human history is just a series of outbreaks of stupidity and hatred, an endless torrent of theft, rape, lies and cowardice." "Those splendid flashes of human intelligence are nothing but random events we tried our utmost to avoid." "Cut!" "We don't have many documents to Show you." "The famous scientist hated photographs." "His house." "He was always a spirit who preferred solitude, in order to devote himself entirely to his research." "His cat." "Someone once said that the hardest thing is ..." "With his parents." "The hardest thing is to reconstruct, to explain the life of a great man." "His only youthful photo." "And yet, this man's life is easy to define:" "He is one of humanity's greatest benefactors." "Damn!" "And precise/y thirty-four years ago" "I still had both eyes and I started to see clearly ..." "Your papers." "Come on, hurry up!" "I said hurry up!" "So, no more waiting?" "Tonight ..." "What d'you think?" "Is it worth it?" "If you're having doubts ..." "No." "It's not that." "What, then?" "Well, you only get one life." "Better to think about it ... first." "What the hell do you mean, "think about it"?" "Life?" "Slavery?" "Go on, save yourself," "Coward!" "Don't worry." "How long have we got?" "About three hours." "We've got time." "Stop it!" "Still want kids?" "Filthy creature!" "Sea monster!" "What crap!" "Listen, forget it for a few hours." "Then I'll go first." "No way!" "It's mine." "Ladies first." "Here he is!" "Hello, chief!" "Okay, chief?" "Great haul, guys." "What was there?" "Please, carry on." "A real arsenal." "Bullseye, chief!" "Like always, you mean?" "Go on, play." "It's me now." "It's him." "That one." "Has he said anything?" "Nope!" "And the other two?" "They got away, but we'll get them in a day or two." "You gave him a proper beating." "Better get back to work on him." "We can't ..." "Not yet anyway." "Eat up." "Sweetie ..." "Have some nice milk ..." "My other stick, please." "Yes, minister." "It's time." "A little kiss for mommy?" "Really ..." "I'll shut the door." "Do you recognize him?" "Bring his mother in, if she recognizes him, I'll try also." "Leave her ..." "She needs to be presentable in court." "We'll even help her, since her legs are broken!" "And him?" "Probably not." "We'll keep him separate." "For the moment, judges prefer one unhinged person at a time." "He'll disappear for a few years, then he'll come back quietly, that is, if he's learned anything." "You, the accused can count among your victims two children, and a wife." "Have you no regrets?" "Oh, yes." "I regret that there are survivors." "Savagery" "Any accomplices?" "Absent." "What were your motives?" "One more asshole goes to hell and Earth is one step closer to paradise." "Filth" "Young girl, please be serious:" "You had condemned yourself to death long before coming here." "Your malfunctioning bomb saved you for the moment, and you talk of paradise?" "Your actions plainly contradict your wishes for the planet." "It's absurd!" "I want nothing for myself, least of all paradise!" "What I want is to open people's eyes, they aren't blind." "Open their eyes?" "Outrage" "You're on your own!" "I forgot you knew it all." "Young girl," "What is all this for?" "You have to do something." "It doesn't matter what." "For you, my crime is to have taken action." "You don't care about the children's death." "Me neither, for that matter." "They'd have grown corrupt anyway." "How's that?" "If you're born rich you're likely to stay that way." "Monster confesses Minister improving" "Gentlemen," "I understand." "I've really upset you." "My mission is over:" "you'll finish it off." "The death you'll give me will set an example to those whose eyes you wish to keep shut." "Their riposte will follow!" "Gentlemen, thank you." "Hey!" "Jailer!" "When is it happening?" "I want to die!" "Die ... now." "Time is oblivion." "Calm down." "I'm hereto stop you from dying prematurely." "Just wait." "And go on, get up." "Come on, tell me!" "Your book ..." "What do you write in it?" "I'm rotting away in here!" "You understand?" "You!" "I want to die." "You're so lucky to want anything at all." "our government was accused a number of times of consisting solely of tyrants and oppressors." "All those here who judge us, if not kindly then at least objectively, know that these accusations are without foundation." "The government has examined the situation:" "How can we prove our generosity, our humanity faced with such slanderous criticism?" "Our people's happiness isn't enough." "Our only option is to push our humanitarian principles to their absolute limit." "The whole nation endorses our actions in this difficult matter which raises many controversial questions." "You are gathered here to hear our final decision." "Toward this sorry creature, this odious criminal, the government has taken a generous, noble stance:" "Compassion." "I solemnly declare that the Government has granted the late minister's dying wish." "His last words were "spare her", and so, she is pardoned." "Ladies, gentlemen, are there any questions?" "Yes?" "Thank you." "Exactly what is your decision?" "Life imprisonment and hard labor." "I understand your hesitation in making that decision." "But I'm curious:" "Why wait so long to reveal this minister's kind streak, when he'd always been criticized for his cruelty?" "You're lying!" "It's despicable!" "I'm going to kill myself, you know." "Impossible." "I'll trick you!" "Impossible." "You'll see." "Impossible." "Security here is flawless," "I'm the best jailer there is." "Ever seen me sleep?" "No." "That's because I never sleep." "Listen ..." "Go on, for our country." "Get on with it!" "For your country." "For your country." "Go on, for your country!" "Then what?" "Nothing." "We stayed there 'til it finished." "And the officer?" "This one bought it for country and all mankind." "Click click, mate." "What about the rest?" "Nah, leave it." "What a mess!" "Yep." "Quite a fun morning ..." "Look, this guy's less pale than the rest!" "Less pale my ass." "Stop pissing about, he isn't dead yet." "All right," "I'll get the stretcher." "Come and look, first." "No, we'll take him." "You know, the new lot of butchers has arrived." "Straight from college." "They'll want fresh meat to cut." "Fine, if you want to." "War is hard in the infirmary." "I was well looked-after in the hospital." "Six months." "I came out of there just fine." "Except I haven't slept since." "Everything else is OK, fine, except ..." "Except?" "It's nothing." "I can't remember who I was before." "And your military papers?" "They lost them when I went into the hospital." "You're lying to me." "You made it all up, for a laugh." "How's that?" "You just wait 'til I'm asleep, then you fall asleep." "But I'll get you." "You'll see." "I'm not going to die here like an idiot." "I'll see." "Do you mind this?" "Still ..." "At least it helps me stay awake." "I'm sorry." "On boats, there are no cells with bars." "Regulation." "Where are we going?" "Where are we going?" "You're being transferred." "Where to?" "Somewhere secure." "Secure?" "You need proper protection." "From what, for God's sake?" "People." "Stupid, nasty people." "They could slip you a nice soup, discreetly poisoned, and the pretty girl's done for." "You'll be safe, far from home." "No one would dare of their own accord, just to show off their zeal." "You must stay alive." "I'm sorry." "That funny scarf of yours!" "Stop playing with it!" "Leave me alone." "If you think it's fun looking at you like that ..." "You act like you're in jail." "I am." "Stop Walking like that." "I'm sorry." "Why have you stopped writing?" "It was less annoying." "Why have you stopped writing, damn it?" "Shall I tell you a story?" "You're a liar." "Listen." "I haven't asked you anything." "I'm waiting for you to fall asleep." "Listen." "Make your mind up, love." "Tomorrow, or the next day, you might be a corpse." "Hurry up." "Soon there'll be other customers." "That one." "Are you going straight upstairs?" "I'm taking her out." "It'll cost you." "I know." "For how long?" "Dunno." "You're not going to kill her?" "As you said:" "Could be tomorrow or the next day." "Fine." "When's she coming back?" "Dunno." "Let's say ... dawn." "That's ten customers' worth, my dear!" "I'm paying in advance." "You know what I wrote in my diary year after year?" "I described all the beauty I saw in her face." "That's the only memory I have." "Everything else, people have told me." "Words." "Every day since, I forget everything that happens." "Just her ..." "No!" "How awful!" "A stretcher!" "Get a stretcher!" "It's so awful!" "There must be a doctor on duty, call him!" "We must do something, we can't leave her like this ..." "It's so terrible!" "Two stretchers!" "Make it two!" "Are you all right?" "I've never been more perfect." "Do you need anything?" "She hadn't eaten for three days." "Still nothing." "But how does your story end?" "That was the end." "I had to leave straightaway." "Train." "And the actor?" "Dunno." "But the girl, she was hungry, I know that." "How's that?" "You know, they were artists, drifters, poor," "provincial performers." "Did you meet them again?" "No, never." "Soon after, on the train I realized that the name on the poster had vanished from my memory." "They were strange." "Their professor, too." "But I don't understand." "Possibly." "But why fear death when she wanted to die so much?" "Don't know." "What do you think of the jailer?" "Don't know." "It wasn't him that died?" "Possibly ..." "Quite possibly." "Because he'd stopped writing." "I don't know!" "Listen." "Your story really interests me, I'd like to know more." "Why are you so unwilling to talk?" "Look." "For centuries you don't speak to me, then all of a sudden you bombard me with questions." "Then another century of silence, then a question again." "So impatient!" "I love your stories but I wanted to find my answers." "Well I hope you found them." "But I have more questions ..." "Why did he stop writing?" "For the last time, I have no idea." "You're being impossible today." "Can we talk about something else?" "Like what?" "See that, there?" "It's a fourteenth century ... thing." "Shall we go there?" "What for?" "For the hell of it." "Listen." "I'd really like to go there with you." "Don't you want to?" "I didn't say that." "Fine." "I'll go on my own." "Are they loners who carefully chose their company?" "Or people ... who could never imagine finding themselves" "alone?" "To make these mummies, they dried the bodies" "in the sun." "And since here they have 245 days" "of sun per year, sometimes as many as 280, but that's rare ..." "Well, the mummification" "frequently highly successful." "Are you angry?" "Very angry?" "I don't understand." "What a shame." "Why this foul mood?" "for once" "I thought I had a chance to escape the whole organized circus that exists on the boat ..." "and elsewhere too, okay." "But it seems I was wrong." "Because of me?" "I'd say yes." "I'm sorry." "And the fortress?" "I'd say yes." "What right do you have?" "Right?" "Now I'll tell you:" "no right at all!" "You speak, I translate." "You do it very well, no one's complained." "But the fortress isn't on the tour!" "No, I didn't consult the itinerary!" "Now you see!" "Anyway it's me who's angry." "You still haven't told me." "Maybe you've forgotten." "Why did the jailer stop writing?" "You really want to know?" "Really." "He forgot what was beautiful about his little whore's face." "You still haven't eaten?" "Three days I waited for you at dinner!" "Today, I came up to see whether you had lost too much weight." "Is that all?" "Do you ever miss the gulls?" "No ..." "Yes!" "Whichever." "Tell me:" "Are you ever sincere?" "Sometimes, yes." "Do you harbor a little grudge against interpreters?" "A bit, not much." "Why?" "Lots of reasons." "Tell me one!" "They just interpret words from one language to the other." "That's it?" "No." "Sometimes, for example, the meaning vanishes." "That's what I thought." "Congratulations." "I want to prove you wrong, about me at least." "Because I'm sure I know what you're thinking, for a longtime now." "Come with me." "And your glasses?" "I don't need them when there's no light." "And you live your life in the dark?" "Always." "At least, nearly." "Something wrong with your eyes?" "Nothing serious." "The after-effect of an irritating illness." "Mostly irritating for other people, though ..." "So you do have eyes ..." "Do you remember what I told you?" "Yes, I remember." "If I put the light on for a moment, will it hurt?" "Me?" "No." "Right." "Then I will." "Trachoma ..." "And you so wanted to see them." "Another film can begin"