"Moscow" " Voronezh." "Not gonna get us!" "Hi there!" "What you got there under the hood?" "Kinda jet engine i got there.." "Yep, kinda." "Nah..." "OEM." "Just re-engineered myself, boosted it a bit." "Light it up!" "It's not gonna bite." "What's your name "genius mechanic"?" "Me?" "Lyamkin is my lastname." "Semyon Lyamkin is full name." "Coming back from vacation?" "No, just did some gardening in country-side." "Help yourself!" " Thank you." " What's about your job?" "Everything's tip-top." "No problem." "Ok, gotta go." "If you are in trouble - just give me a call." " Yeah, we'll swap engines then." " Bye!" "Security Russian International..." "Oh..." "It's a state-of-the-art robot." "It can operate being on the ground and in space." "Good afternoon!" "Could I ask you some questions?" "[Speaking in one voice] Good afternoon!" "You are talking to fresh unemployed guys!" " Oh, shit..." " They sit right here drowning their sorrows." "So what do you want from us?" "We want to ask you a question:" "What did you decide to do next?" "I decided to have a rest on Bahama Islands for one year or two." "But sincerely guys, I am sick and tired of this crappy life..." "You're just getting used to good things when suddenly life becomes even better!" "And I'm going to return all empties, buy up all our factory with all its shops and then to be a turner in this factory again." "Senya, Senya!" "And you?" "Oh, come on!" "I'll just check out." " Are you alright, Senya?" " Seems that our "aliens" fried something there." "So, what has happened "Mr. Plumber-san"?" "Has it stopped running, hah?" "(анонимно)" "Where is it?" "Here, turn it on." "Look, we connect this thingamajig with that doohickey,... throw it out and directly..." "gimmie... connect it." "He's asking who is that man." "A former worker of this factory." "(Talking in Chinese)" "What did he say?" "He basically said "F#$%ing awesome!"" "Wow!" "Senya!" "If you explain them all properly,... they start to know much about their own equipment." " Capable guys!" " Well, what did you do to them?" "(one of the sitters speaks)" "The floor is being given to my friend mr." "Lyamkin." "Come on!" "Are you crazy?" "Manya will kill me!" "Kill you?" "So what?" "Mr. Zhora, I don't know what to do." "I have the power, I have the will, but I don't have the willpower!" "Excuse me, would you have a match?" "Yes, I do." " What a nice evening, isn't it?" " It isn't." "Then let's have a smoke or... so... or what?" "Or what is better." "Let's stand up?" "My pleasure." "I met you - and older times Have revived in my dead heart;" "I recall golden time - And my heart feels warmer..." "I recall our golden time - And my heart feels warmer..." "Manya!" "Manya!" "Manya!" "Yesterday I..." "Looks like yesterday I... did this..." "I congratulate you!" "Yesterday close to your own home you were trying to put the moves on your own wife." "You've never been so drunk!" " Yegor, good morning!" " Hey!" " Hi, dad." " Hi, dad." " How are you?" "Did you catch it much?" " I don't know so far." "Have you done your homework?" " What are you talking about?" "It's vacation time." " Don't be rude to your dad." "Svetka, move faster, or it may get worse." "Hold on, dad, break a leg!" "Daddy, I'm with you." "If anything happens, call for help - will you?" "Go get some rest." "(parrot in a cage)" " Borya is good!" "Impeachment!" "Impeachment!" "Hey, is Lyudmila in the university now?" "I'm here." "And you don't be rude too." "Manya, who do you think I am?" "How could you think that I... that I could confuse you with somebody else?" "Manya, what wrong have I done?" "You felt me up in the elevator, until you fell asleep still standing." "I was tired." "And why can't I hug my own wife at an elevator?" "You called me a little girl." "You ARE little girl." "Fine, peace?" "Me and Vovan..." "Shit!" ".." "with all the workers..." " I know, you got fired." "Vovan called me earlier." " What a mess..." "Fuck them all." "Asphalt is not over yet." "You're a man with brains so they'll snatch you right up." " Who will?" " How who?" "The state will!" "No, thank you, that's enough!" "Enough riping my back for them!" "So, you were speaking about capitalism?" "There are no strongholds our people can't conquer!" "I'll start business." "Come on!" ".." "Here we go!" "..." "Come here!" ".." "Oh, what's coming up here?" "Here you are!" "You're my darling!" "Listen, boss, do you have success in women?" "He enjoys a great success, but not a small one." "Fine." "What d'you want?" "What we need?" "We need go two steps - straight ahead and turn to the right." "Just go faster, we're in a hurry." "Can your foreign car go straight ahead and turn to the right?" "Usually I go left." "But if needed we can go right." "Come on, come on." "Oh, so it can be not only washing and sewing, it also can be driving?" "!" "It also can take offense, when somebody sneers at it." "It's an excellent car, sir!" "Fasten your seatbelts, we're off!" "(singing) Oh, these black eyes..." "has captivated me!" "I hadn't any chance to forget them." "They burn in front of me." "Oh, these black eyes..." "Oh, break, break right here." "Yeah, yeah." "You broke all my mood!" "I'll have a shiner!" "Sorry." "You told me to brake when I got high speed." " There's 30 rubles note." "Will you find a change?" " I will." " Gimmie." "So how can I work now with that shiner?" "!" " What work?" "It's night outside!" " So we work at night." "Fish likes where it's deep, a human - where the place is." "Con-dom..." " Oh, those black eyes loved me." "*Where did you hide now?" "Who's close to you?" "*" "There was an autumn day and leaves were falling sadly." "*In last aster a crystal sorrow lived*" "We never knew any sadness..." ""Oh, these..."" "(singing on tune "Hava Nagila") *Oh, these black... oh, how they captivated me...*" "*I hadn't a chance to forget them." "They burn, burn near me.*" "*Oh, these black eyes Loved me.*" "*Where did you hide now, These black eyes?" "*" "*Where did..." "Where did...*" "*- ...these black eyes hide?" " ...these black eyes hide?" "*" "*" " I hadn't a chance to forget them." " I hadn't a chance to forget them.*" "Oh, those black eyes." "*[in Yiddish] Why?" "*" " Are you crazy?" " They put there some crap!" " These are greens!" " So what fell there down?" "'Security Russian International Oleg Ivanovich'" "Oleg Ivanovich!" "What's wrong with my head?" "This is a guy with a 'Mersedes-Benz'!" "Merci." "So?" "Please." "Well, so you didn't disappoint my hopes." "Now I'm about to explain you the essence of our occupation." "We work in the offices security system." "The issue of the day, as it known, is:" "People, save your money 'cause we haven't it enough." "Speaking." "No, a libido-bank is not wanted." "Look for something else." "The people is not for sale but to buy only." "So..." "Here we go..." "We work in the strictest top-secret mode." "Don't tell anyone!" "What do you say about it?" "We..." "I agree." "That's fine!" "In that case you can have a pager for connections." "Please." "And also a cash advance." " As we say: 'Who doesn't used to have a little...' - '...won't have a lot'!" "Right, darling." " Here you are." "Do you have any questions?" " What's a date of work?" " A rare date." " Got it." "Whoa!" "Oh!" "Like cucumbers!" " 'Who will feed us?" "Who will feed us?" "'" " The greens!" " Senya, aren't they fake?" " Why?" "Have a look. 'Cause there's a note with a draw of a man, there's another note with a draw of another man." " So, where?" " Here." "Have a look." " So what?" " Why do you say 'so what'?" "There must be a draw of a certain man, like we had before a draw of Lenin on our Soviet roubles!" "So this is a certain man." "But just this one is younger, so this one is older." "Oh, oh, he picked up a flesh and became so bald!" "Manya, they are people too, like we are." "They can do such things." "Put it on a book." "But only don't put it in 'Capital' by Marx - to hell with it!" " Oh, I'll put it in 'Green noise' by Prishvin." " OK." "It's better to but it in 'Notes of the dead' by Bulgakov." "We didn't ask you!" "Did you do your English?" "By the way, in Washington they bulletin the first batch of dollars in Russian." "What are you telling your parents the horror stories for the night?" " Go to bed!" " That's OK, that will be easier to count it!" "Go to bed!" "That's it, it's retreat." "Everybody go to bed!" "Good night!" "Sveta, did you see dollars?" " In Prishvin's book?" " In Bulgakov's." "Well, everybody go to bed!" " Sveta, well, Sveta!" "[sounds like 'light'] (speaking in two)" " What?" "Put out the light!" "(speaking in two)" "It's tautology, that's clear?" "Clearing group!" "Everybody go to bed!" "Senya, did you start it again?" "Well, stop it!" "Well, how much you dare?" "Well, just 'yesterday' was the day before yesterday." "You have a citizen consience." "The kids are still not asleep." " I'll do it on the sly." " I know your knid!" "Senya, well, stop it, let me have a rest, take your hands off!" "You know what, Manya?" "I even can sue you." " It's interesting, for what?" " For that!" "For the evasion of marital duties." "On that score, they say, they have a special artcle." " Where it is?" " In the criminal code." "So I'll sue you and you'll be know." "Go on." "Sue me, or I'm not agreed!" "Impeachment!" "Boria is good!" "Boria is good!" "*Armor is strong and our tanks are fast...*" "Where's this thing that beeps?" " How does it called?" " Pager. (reads a book) Corporative..." "Pager." "Where's this pager?" "Daddy, don't forget, I have an appearance today." "Wait, they message me from my work." "*The machines will go to the violent trip...*" "Can anybody tell me where this pager is?" "Everybody have no business with the father." "Where's this bloody thing?" "*And the motherland will send us to attack...*" "Knives are blunt." "No real men in the house." " Drink your green tea or it'll get cool." " Thanks." "Well, again!" "Bear in your mind if I'll miss this work... (Lyuda reads a book) ...form corporative that no VCRs, no roller-skates, no other things you will get!" "Come - there will be all the parents!" "*The machines will go to the violent trip...*" "Well, what, Manya, what?" "Well, it's nothing to be sneezed at!" "Go quickly doing your music lessons!" "Senya, I'll fetch the neighbour for 5 minutes... and you stir beans every half an hour, huh?" "So, stir beans every 5 minutes!" "Daddy, here is it." "They spoiled the bird." " Well, what button I have to press?" " This one." "Invited to get a job today." "Aha." "Oleg Ivanovich. 24:00." "Well..." "(Lyudmila says to children) Shoo, sparrows!" "I have to work at night!" "It's me." "Take your dark-touch equipment off!" "Please." "Forward and singing." " *Armour is strong...*" " No, let's not singing." "Oh, shit!" "So, we change time for money." "Come on." "So?" "So what?" "It's done." "The bastard scared me." "Shoo!" "Shoo!" "It feeds on the greens too, you know." "Load out." "Move, move!" " Oleg Ivanovich!" " Don't bother me!" "Oleg Ivanovich, why do you need it?" "I warned you the conditions as much as possible are approached to the extreme." " Everything goes according to the plan." " I didn't get it." "Your mission, my dear, is finished for today." "So now you can sit here for 10 minutes, have a rest - they'll come for you." " I didn't get it again." " I explained you." "They'll come for you, explain everything, take care of you." "Set aside!" "Can you see it?" "And it's for you." "Are you crazy?" "Take it, take it, relax, don't worry." "Everything is all right, it's for you." "A minute of laughter, by the way, adds one more year of life 'conditionally'." "The first branch, block the ladder." "The second - go to a rear entrance." "Stop!" "On the contrary." "Catman, go to the cellar with a hound." "Zilberman, you will cover me." "Ivanov, Vorobyov, Sidorov - go to the roof." "Now I got it." "Don't stamp your feet, don't stamp your feet - it's not the Storming of the Winter Palace for you." "Moscow-Voronezh, as we say, not gonna get us!" "Vorobyov, Sidorov - go to that edge." "As you send, Sidorov." "Zilberman, stand at your place and cover me." " I stand here for sure!" " Where do you go?" "Look attentively - Catman, go away." " Where's the hound, where's the hound?" " It's in the cellar with Catman..." "He's here!" "He's here!" "Remember that I've told to you." "Take him alive - he's got the money." " Vorobyov, go forward!" " Where to?" " Comrade Commander!" "He'll go away!" "He'll go away!" " I will!" "Food." "'Go ahead, pour' cafe." "'Be careful to trust a person who does not like wine.'– Karl Marx" "Because, my baby, Venus de Milo beside you is just a laundress." "What are you talking about?" "And a breed of the woman depends on perfection of her knees." " Hello." "What do you want?" " I don't know." "The same he has." " Oh, so it's a glass of vodka and a sandwich." " Yeah, yeah." " Sometimes you want it always!" " It's a pity there's no snack after drinking..." "They've given me the workmate..." "The cop's vehicle has tired me out!" "Igor Alexandrovich, we have to carry out a full inspection." "Tomorrow I will throw my ID on the table!" " The problems with candles." " Get lost with your candles!" " And you know, problems with distributor, with the ignition..." " What distributor?" "!" "Judging by night character of your work, you're either a gangster, or a souteneur." "Yes, I'm a gangster." "I plunder safes." "It turned out so..." "And you won't surprise and won't frighten us - Now seldom we have ones who are not gangsters." "I'll present myself better " "The former member of the former Union, The former artist of the former USSR." " This is Marianna." " Marina." "Come on." " Come on, cling to the 'Beast'..." " The 'Beast'?" " ...while this faggot heats his ass at the cafe." " Faggot?" " Take the 'tie'." " What tie?" "Cord, cord!" "Would you like to finish your food?" "We will finish." "Marianna, that's for you." " Excuse me, could you please?" " Yes, we could." "*I like to walk at moon times Under sounds, geranium smells...*" " Marina, allow me to pass!" " Get lost with your mister-comrade!" "*And at the same time with one hand to play with the young beauty,*" "Jump in!" "Jump in!" "Or you'll be late, faggot!" "*That arrived to us from the Syzran city.*" "Igor Alexandrovich, and what you meant, when have told..." "Seems, we started an engine, Igor Alexandrovich!" "Shut up, you fool!" "*In the sky, on the land and on the sea...*" " Where do you have a brake?" " Brakes don't work!" "They're like tied up!" " Where do you have a backing?" " It doesn't work!" "What bloody roads!" " Shoot at the tires!" " I haven't cartridges, Igor Alexandrovich!" " Manya!" " Mummy!" "Igor Alexandrovich, do you take your bearing where we are?" "You're an intelligent man and you ask me, we're in the water!" "He's here!" "Halt, bastard!" "If I get you I'll drown you!" "Look for him and whistle!" "Igor Alexandrovich, the whistle doesn't work!" " Hey!" " What?" " What is it?" " And what?" " Well, here." "What did we drink yesterday?" " What, what, it." " So what?" " And what about me?" "Wow!" "Well, I broke through, thank God!" "Vovan." "(from TV) *Holland is a land of the won socialism*" "If they'll capture me, they'll jail me." "For sure your chief will hand over you." "Senya, you have to lay down while the danger is not over." "*There are prisons where terms are small* To my brother-in-law to Volga." "Oh, yeah..." "'There was a cliff on Volga, but someone took him away'." "Forget about your relatives, they'll come to them for you first." "*These prisons is not unlike usual hotels.*" "*However the strongest impression make,* *certainly, prisons for serious criminals.*" "Maybe I should give me up?" "Who opened the safe?" "*People have a real living here.* I did." "*And consequently life conditions* So who will answer?" "*... is for all 5 stars.*" "Alright, what are you talking about?" "I didn't take the money!" "Are you crazy?" "*The prisoners even suggest to choose them*" "Idiot you are!" "Yeah, you're asking for prison!" "*Everyone are obliged to work, not less than 4 hours per day.*" "*And if you will master sewing or joiner's manufacture well,* *that you will go at large with cash...* How many of it there?" "*In a leisure-time there is a library at the disposal of condemned,* *books in all languages of the world.* 1000 $." "So, you're the accomplice, so you'll get imprisonment for up to the max." "*In the Dutch prison there is the separate chamber with all conveniences to services of a prisoner.*" "*There are refrigerator, TV, stereo system, and even a coffee maker.*" "*Billy King commited a bad crime." "His term is 10 years." "He already did a half of his time.*" "See that?" "That's where you have to go, to their prison." "*And talk to him* What?" "Though once in your life you will feel yourself like a man!" "Me?" "To prison?" "But why not?" "My ex-wife Galya's cousin Verka cut her teeth on these shop-tours." "*This is my destiny* Before you know it you'll find yourself in this Holland." "And nobody will find you in this prison, especially, in the Dutch one." "You'll do your time there for 3 or 4 months, have a rest." "And maybe..." "Oh!" "..." "you'll earn some cash, while all this is not over, huh?" "*Billy says:" "If you work diligently and don't break a mode,*" "I don't want to go to prison." "*..they even can let you go home.*" "*Or your mates on Sundays...*" "Senya, if you don't want to go to the Dutch prison, then you'll go to ours." "What's the matter with your right hand?" "*For this purpose all conditions are created here.* I don't get it." "*We've got even the room for kids with toys.* Pour!" "*The chief of prison has told to us:" "We meet each new prisoner* *with words:" "It's your home." "And in your forces here* *to make your life clever, sensible, interesting...* Let's go." "*...that, leaving prison, you not only haven't felt* *like you've lost some years of life, but so you left prison* *like high-grade citizens with new knowledge, with new experience,*" "*with new feeling of yourself in the future life.*" "*Leaving the Dutch prison, we've remembered things we've begun with:*" "*Holland is a land of the won socialism.*" "*And not in words, but in practice.*" "Hey, hey, leave my mom alone!" "It's my mama!" "You should learn at her." "I was bored by your idiot friends, foolish conversations, cretinic newspapers." "Why did you marry me?" "You'd sit near your mummy, ... if you're not capable for more." " Am I not capable?" "But if it's not for you, I could become the general, the academician, the prime minister." "Thank God, I have rescued this unfortunate country from such prime minister." " And where is gratitude of the people?" " Take it, the people." "Where's your 'thank you'?" "If I'll marry once again - not in my life!" "Bread." " Cheese." " Sorry?" "Here." "No, here." " Is it Dutch one?" " Dutch." " A pack of green tea." " Sorry?" "Tea." "T-E-A, understand?" "To drink... tea." "A Russian man never drinks beer in the morning." "No." "Without alcohol." "No alcohol." "I don't need it without alcohol even less so." "So look, "brew"." ""Brew", you understand?" "No." "No." " Here..." "Give me a pen, a pen." " What?" " A pen." "Look." " Anna, Anna." " Yes?" " Bring kettles, please." " Take one." "No, the thing that inside of the cup." "An empty cup is nothing." "Here's tea." "Oh, yes!" "Take this." "Is it black or green?" "It is..." "I don't need no black one." "Black one - no." "I need green one." "Here, can you see that?" "Anna, Anna, the guy wants black shoes and T-shorts." "Fetch Sam for him quickly." "Green one." "Here, black shoes and T-shorts." "Try them, please." "Well, guys..." "I'm telling you in plain Russian - not black one but green one." "Thanks a lot." "Are you the Chinese, indeed?" "Tea!" "Tea, tea, tea!" "Chinese... green tea." "Оh, Chinese - green tea." "Wait!" "Wait!" "Just a moment!" "Green tea!" "Green tea!" "Green tea!" "Wait a moment!" "Hey!" "Somebody!" "Somebody call the ambulance!" "Doctor!" "Call the doctor!" "Oh, my God!" "Oh, I'm so sorry!" "Man, man, come on, come on!" "He was so upset because of this green tea ..." "It's all right." "No need ambulance." "Just help me to bring him to my car." "Quickly, please." "How do you feel?" "You're as blind as an owl, watch the road or you'll knock down somebody else!" "Are you Russian?" "Yes, sure, I'm Chinese, indeed!" "Oh..." "Where are we going?" "That's OK, don't worry." "Everything's gonna be alright!" "Aha." "Nice shopping!" "I just wanted to buy some bread!" "Hi." "Sorry?" "Oh, you're getting better, thanks God." "Оh, it's you as blind as an..." "I mean, it's you, m'am." "And I was very much frightened." "But now everything's okay, all the worries are past." "The doctor said you're already okay, you already feel better." " Gimmie..." "Oh..." " What is it?" "Does it hurt?" "Where does it hurt?" "I don't know." "Where?" "Here, here?" "Here?" "The buttocks hurt?" "You need a doctor." "Yeah, if I go to him I'm gonna also chill my kidneys." "No, no, no... please." "The doctor offered you to lie not to get up." "It's dangerous disease, it's brain tremor!" "I've got my car parked unlocked." "That's OK." "Don't worry." "I sent my friend Sick for your car." "Why did you sent there a sick one when I'd manage myself?" "Oh, no, no, no..." "Sick is a surname." "But who are you?" "Mary." "Semyon." "I'm so sorry." "Forgive me, please." " It's my great fault." " Never mind, it's ok." "Today, I got on badly with my husband again." " I see." " It was very dark in my head." "And suddenly" " Boom!" " my car knocked you down to the road." "It's ok." "Never mind!" "How do you come to know Russian?" "I'm half of quarter Russian." "My mother taught me a little Russian." "So your father was a rascal." "Who's your husband?" "Oh, he's a scribe." "Really?" "Oh, I mean what do you mean 'scribe'?" "He scribes political issues to magazines, newspapers." "I see." "It's ok." "Yes." "Are you a tourist?" "I have to do a little business here." "A little business?" "Oh, yeah, I have to do it." "Oh, business?" "!" "[phone rings] Just a moment, please." "[Speaking English on the phone] Hello!" "Yes, it's me." "I would pay all the expenses but I've jacked it." "OK." "I'll come to see you but not today." "Tomorrow?" "It's fine of me." "Bye." "How terrible!" "They need only money." "Some of them want me to get money back, some of them want me to lend them money." " Look, I've made a pigsty with bread here." " That's OK." "Don't worry." "In that case, I have..." "Where is it?" "Oh!" "There is." "Thomas!" "Thomas, go ahead!" "Oh, it's a new technology!" "How do you like it?" "It's a real thing!" "There's no limit to human creativity!" "." "Did I take a bad look?" "That's OK." "That's OK." "Tomorrow I'll call mechanic." "But why tomorrow?" "Can I try to fix it now?" "Well, if you want to..." "Just a moment, please." "It's not a car but a beast!" "I can not imagine how the door opens." "Mary, is your friend a racing driver?" "No." "Racing driver is me and he's my victim." "Come on!" "Aha!" "Got it!" "Oh, my God!" "Bravo!" "Simon cured Thomas." "Bravo!" "Let's celebrate!" " Simon, you're a fine mechanic." " Come on, never mind!" "Simon, this is Vincent." "Vincent, this is Simon." " Lyamkin." " Sick." "No, I'm almost healed." "Oh, no, no, no..." "Sick is his surname." "Oh, it's interesting." " Simon, do you have some tea?" " Well, I said 'Let's celebrate!" "'" "Hey, Sick, I'm nearly sick." "You fetch my car called Beast." " Beast." " Open the glove compartment." " There is vodka." " Vodka?" " Yeah." " Oh, vodka." " And get it here." "OK." "Oh, everything will be great in Russia." "Russia will beat common sense." "I bet Russia is stronger that any common sense!" "Armor is strong and our tanks are fast, And our people are full of courage!" "The Soviet tankers are standing in the ranks now - Their eternal homelands' sons!" " Here we go again!" " Russia!" "La-la-la!" " Okay." "Let's get out of politics." " Yeah!" " I propose a toast to wonderful Amsterdam." " Wow!" "Oh, Vincent's done." "He gives up for it." "He's very drunk." "Thank you for everything." "Oh, there's a lovely evening ..." " I'm gonna accompany you, Sick." " Where do you think you're going?" "So, keep your souvenir." "Are you able to hold it?" "It's a souvenir from Russia." " I'm gonna accompany him." " Simon, Simon, wait." "The doctor told you 'to drive STOP to sleep' So you stay here to sleep." "You will make your little business tomorrow." "Where do you want to go?" " I want to go to prison, damn it." " What do you mean 'to prison'?" "What prison?" " The ordinary one." " Did you break a law?" " No." " Why then?" " But tomorrow I will break it." " Why?" "To go to prison." "Vincent!" "This crazy guy wants to break the law to go to prison!" "He had heard a lot of the mysterious Russian soul." "But he've never seen not a single Russian going to prison on the purpose." "Never!" "There is no smoke without homeland." "I think it's a result of brain tremor." "You should have a rest." "There's a bathroom, there's a sleeping room." "Your sleeping room is the second one." " But why not the first one?" " Because the first one is mine." "(Groans)" "I've never feel so good of you before." "Oh, Claude!" "Sorry." "Oh, who is it?" "What is it?" "This is my blanket." "What are you actually doing here?" "And what are you doing here?" "I'm overdrunk..." "I've mixed up..." "I was inspired..." "Actually, I... here..." "I..." "I'm sorry..." "I... how can I say..." "I won't do it again!" " You won't?" "I accidentally did it!" "I didn't want to do it." "I mean, I did want to do it, on the other hand ..." "But with another..." "I mean..." "Please, get me wrong." "Well ..." "Actually, didn't I really hurt you?" "Not really ..." "Hello!" "This, this, this, here, this, here, and all this page, please." "And for dessert - this, this, this and that's it, I think." "Thank you of coming, guys!" "*Happy birthday, dear, Larrie!" "*" "*Happy birthday to you!" "*" " ... and finds his wife Nickie." " Nickie!" "Oh!" "Look at this!" "Wow!" "What a thing!" "Let's carry it, guys, starve the worm!" "Welcome, buddy." "Enjoy your meals." "I'm about to finish everything and talk to you on equal terms." "...welcomes you and wishes you enjoy your meals." "He has a good appetite, better than yours in your younger years, Larry." "And wine, brother, you do not rush to pour, and then freeze!" "Come on!" " This is Russian!" " Russian, Russian full of passion!" "Wine?" "Get wine here!" "I guessed that he's Russian!" "Bravo, Russian!" "Bravo!" "Bravo!" "Madge, I like this guy!" "I drink to his health." "Here is red wine, a good one." "Come on, we'll have white wine on the top." "Bon Appetit!" "What are you bringing?" "What will you surprise me with?" "Oh, spaghetti!" "Bravo!" "Bravo!" "Bravo, Russian!" "He's like you, Larry." "Excuse me, bill, please!" "He just didn't eat about 10 years." "Oooh!" "Look!" "It might be a Russian credit card?" "!" "No money?" "You - no money." "Me - telephone police." " No police!" "No, no, no, no!" " Police wow-wow-wow here, you wow-wow-wow..." "And bring me to prison!" "I will pay for this guy!" "Waiter!" "Don't pay for me!" "Don't!" "I can pay for myself." "Take you money back!" "I need to go to the police station." "I want to go to prison!" "I'd like to put everything on my account." "Please, come here, join us!" "Let's make friends!" "Guys, what have you done?" "Just a moment, come on, come on." "What a nice evening!" "Oh, look what a lovely guy comes here!" "Would you like enjoy yourself?" "I've got something special for you!" " Would you like a glass of wine right here?" " Monsieur, parlez vous francais?" " Parlez." " Sprechen Sie Deutsch, mein herz?" " El parlare Italiano, signore?" " Right, it's a bad weather today." "Italiano..." "Looks like the wind blows from the sea, the rain starts and actually they upset me today." "So, keep out, you chicks... [in Ukrainian]" " Galya." " What?" " Look around you." " What?" "There are only these nasty Muscovites all around!" "Miss!" "Citizen!" "Comrade policewoman!" "You wait, don't go rolling past!" "You see what I'll do now!" "Police!" "Watch out!" "Arrest me, guys!" " These hippies again!" "We tired of them!" " Surrender!" "That's my work!" "Thank you, sir." "We tickle about ourselves." "No, no, no." "We can handle ourselves." "We'll bring them to the police station." "Hey!" "It's me!" "They are not to blame." "Police, can you hear me?" "It's me, me." "Don't bring them there!" "It's me who broke it!" "Wait!" "They were sitting here, smoking, never disturbing anyone!" "Police!" "So you ..." "Police!" "I will repine!" "Hello!" "Hey, wake up, sir!" "Hello!" "Are you alright?" "Are you alright?" " Police?" " Yeah." " At last!" " You can't sleep here." "You... right, right, yeah, yeah..." " Hello!" "Here's my passport." " Passport." " 'Violation of public order'." "2 months' sentence, that is not enough, of course, but I agree." " Are you a foreigner?" " I'm ready." "I am fully aware it." " Aha..." "You can't sleep here." " I got it." "We'll sort the thing out in the police station." " All the foreigners are sleeping in the hotel." "You should go to the hotel." " Let's go." "I'm ready." "And have a good sleep there." "Like I should go." "And that's the end of my day." "I want to go home, you're going to the hotel." " Okay?" "Alright." " I didn't catch it." "Have a good sleep, sir!" "I don't understand, so who will fight with violators of public order?" "You'll never get me off so easy." "I know all your law." "I even have a code." "Didn't I broke the law in the museum?" "I did!" "So bring me to the police station!" "What do you want from me?" "You go to the hotel, I want to go home, I want to sleep." "And you go away from me." "Take this!" "This is too much!" "My job day's over." "I would have arrested you if it's not." "Sure!" "Now go home, on the hotel, leave me alone!" "Go on!" "Halt!" "Do you want 'striking policeman in course of duty'?" "6 months' sentence." "It's more than I can take, of course." "Take this!" "See that?" "Take this and this!" "Sorry, Your Majesty!" "It's circumstances." "Insulting the royal person." "4 months term." "OK, OK, OK, OK..." "Now you're under arrest." "Citizens judges, comrade procu..." "[Coughs] Mr. procurator." "I'm fully admitting my guilt." "As they say, I regret for my deed." "I'm asking to give me opportunity to wash guilt with my blood... [Coughs]" "I mean, as they say, redeem myself before my motherland by honest work." "Oops, I meant to say before your... mother..." "The court worried about your cough." "If you have any health problems, then the departure of your sentence can be postponed." "No way!" "You can't postponed it!" "I'm perfectly healthy!" "I'm totally..." "See that?" "I am... healthy!" "Her Majesty the Queen will never forgive it." "I'm absolutely almost healthy." "As they say, ready in all the strictness of the law ..." "Yeah..." " Mr. Lyamkin." " [translating]" " I read it." "The Court finds you guilty as charged." "And sentences you to be imprisoned for the duration of 4 months." "Goal!" "Pass me the ball!" "Pass it, you freak on a stick!" "Don't you see that?" "Goal!" "Goal!" "Mrs. cons!" "Hey, Russian, what is a freak on a stick?" "Freak on a stick is you." "No, no, I am Chris Vanvor." "I want to learn to speak Russian." "Am I am Simon Lyamkin." "In the past, in the present, and in the future!" "Wow, that's real ration!" " Ration..." "Hey, Simon, and what is ration?" " Ration is food in Russian." "Oh, ration is food." "Do you like it?" "Yes, I do!" "I saw it all on TV." "I thought it's a gag." "So a gag is a ration?" "A gag is a joke." " A joke." " Chris, what is the case you're sitting here?" "I sit at the table and eat rations." "No." "What is the case you're doing time here?" "What do you mean?" " What did you steal?" " Ooh, eh..." "Please, give me salt." "My wife, a woman I was making love with..." "I didn't pay her money." " So you didn't pay alimony?" " Yeah, alimony." "I've never thought you're doing time for that case." " We're doing time for every case." " That's no good not to pay your wife alimony." "Right?" "Simon." "Listen, Simon, I can't pay all the women who were making love with me." "'Cause I have no money." "What is your profession?" " Musician... music..." "I'm going to be a musician." " Oh, a musician." "What's your instrument?" "Instrument?" "My instrument is accordion." "Accordion, you know?" "I know..." "So everything's gonna be tip-top with us!" "Tip-top." "Hey, Simon, what is tip-top in Russian?" " Tip-top is when everything's very well!" " Tip-top - ochen khorosho." "Tip-top - very well." "Oh, check the sound." "Tip-top, tip-top - ochen khorosho." "Tip-top, tip-top - very well." "Right, check the sound." "Tip-top, tip-top - ochen khorosho." "Tip-top, tip-top - very well." " Tip-top, tip-top..." " ...ochen khorosho." "Tip-top, tip-top - ochen khorosho!" "Tip-top, tip-top - very well!" "Tip-top, tip-top - ochen khorosho!" "Tip-top, tip-top - very well!" "Ochen khoroshoooooooo!" "People, one, two, three, four!" "Okie-dokie, that's it." "I'm done, sir!" "Hey, Semyon, I'm finished!" " I've made 3 of that." "What about you?" " I've made 18 of that." " What?" "!" "18?" " Yeah..." "Did you hear, sir, he assembled 18 units." "Excuse me, sir." "He made like 18 of that." " Is Lyamkin, right?" " Yes, sir." " 18?" " Right." " Tell him that it's not a limit." " He can do it faster." " They've just got a wrong assemble's hole." " We have a wrong assemble's hole." " Bravo, Mr. Lyamkin!" " Not at all." "Repeat - "18, sir"..." "Bravo, Simon!" "Simon, tomorrow is Saturday." "I'll go home." "Will you go home?" "Now my sweet home is this place." "Mr. Lyamkin!" "Here's a visit to you." "So..." "How did you find me, m'am?" "You told me that you wanted to go to prison." "You didn't come back." "I thought it's a joke." "I called the police, they gave me address of the prison." " You played so good!" " Never mind." " As if you played it for me." " Don't you say..." "Ave Maria." "Hello, Mary!" "You said to me "Hello?"" "Goodbye." "I must go." "Wait, you must visit Thomas." "It's broken again." "The prison will be only tomorrow." " Where is he?" " Who?" " Well, your one..." " Ah!" "Don't be afraid." "He won't come." "He went to his mother." " I'm talking about this, about the vacuum cleaner." " It'll wait, come to me." " A little of what you fancy does you good." " I fancy?" "What do I fancy?" "What do you fancy?" "You know yourself what, damn it!" "Oh!" "Simon, I fancy a lot of things with you!" "Aha!" "You fancy me to stop fixing your Thomas and to do you know what." "Dream on, m'am!" "Simon, you have such strong hands." "Pat me." "No." "No." "Not so." "Pat me like you pat Thomas." "M-m-m-m-maybe someone else is not alright in your house?" "Do you want me to fix it?" "I'm not alright." "Fix me, please!" "Don't you?" "[Phone rings]" "Yes, it's me." "I'm turning the fax on." "No, you are wrong." "The range was the same." "We didn't at anything." "I cannot understand your last word." "Oh..." "Money was... some that when you said." "Today, that's all." "And we have it is nothing so far." "Are for some check?" "It is nothing to do at a radikal." "They recieve, they share on the 18 right after the compromation arrived." "It's impossible, partner." "They don't transfer money, how can I say, from bank to the checkbook." "You know, my wife keeps money in the Chekhov's book doing her shopping." "So nobody couldn't steal it from her bag." "You know such kind of these 'partners'." "You're so funny and nice, Simon!" "Come to me, here, quick, Simon!" "Yeah. ... your headache." "But if thing go like this we all will lose money." "Can you understand this?" "Force we can arrange to million the cake." "Today?" "Oh, it's not..." "I'm sorry, Manya but it's a nation's face." "No, Peter called me from LA yesterday." "He's going to stay there for one more week." "What if the shares spoiled?" "It's not a problem." "But it may happen." "Don't you think so?" "To arms!" "This number is not right." "The name of the bank is not right." "* Armor is strong and our tanks are fast, And our people are full of courage!" "*" "*The Soviet tankers are marching forward - Their homeland ...*" "There's one thing that detain me." "Oh, just a moment, please..." "Goodnight..." "Mr. Lyamkin, I have good news for you!" "Hey, Simon, he have good news for you!" "Because you hard work and for good behavior your sentence is going to dish you're own sent to be 4 months term." "This means you'll be free by end of this week!" " Congratulations!" " I didn't get it." "So, he'll throw you away!" "For what?" " Yes!" " No, my time hasn't come!" "Comrade Mr. Chief, I don't want it, I want to do my full time here!" "Please, don't throw me away!" "You don't have to thank me." "You really deserve it!" "Congratulations!" "Congratulations!" "You don't have to thank him." "Congratulations!" "Oh, thank you, sir!" "He really does appreciate your attention!" "Congratulations!" "The Humane Society, my foot!" "It's an outrage!" "No pity for the man." "I've just got a place, used to it, you know." "I was doing my best - and what d'you think?" " they threw me away!" "And they call it European style!" "Hey, Simon, I warn you, not work so fast." "And now you go to Russia, so I don't have time to learn Russian." "'For good behaviour...'" "Did you build your body?" "What do you mean?" "Later." "That's what I'll do with him!" "That's what I'll do with him!" "Hold me." "Call, call for help!" "Shout louder!" "I'll kill you!" "And I will never be free!" "Oh, filthy pigs!" "The guard of Dutch!" "Mr. Lyamkin, calm down!" "*Along the tundra, along the wide road, Where train speeds from Vorkuta to Amsterdam!" "*" "Mr. Lyamkin, calm down!" "He stole my soap, he's the wrong number!" " Simon, I'm afraid of you!" " Mr. Lyamkin, calm down!" "This way." "Simon, I cry." "Am I doing it alright, eh?" "Ouch!" " Ah?" " Ah!" " Ah?" " Ah!" " Marijuana?" " What Mary Juana?" "It's cheap tobacco!" "Marijuana!" "(Clicked his tongue in time with the heart)" "He is well." "Simon, you are well." " Is nothing wrong with him?" " Nothing." "And nothing is wrong with you." " Nothing at all?" " Nothing at all." "Oh, my friend, I'm afraid it is cell that can find it for you!" "Simon, he will get you in the cell." "Big thanks to him!" "Let's take a chance!" " Freak on a stick!" " So far, doctor!" "Cheap tobacco!" "Week in the cooler, but now I'll do my time 'till the end." "This means another 2 months?" "But first, we'll eat dumplings, and then we'll go into Rembrandt House and Van Gogh Museum." "What about the Museum of Beer?" "And then we'll ride on the ship, and then we will can go torture chamber ..." "In the Museum of Torture." "What about the Museum of Beer?" "Simon, you know the other words except beer?" "Simon!" "What?" "Can you help me, please?" " What happened?" " Help me, here." "Aha." "Madam, where do you get a such skin?" "It's Russian one, Dutch manufacture." "That's it." "Thank you." "Claude?" "What are you doing here?" "I?" "I live here!" "I am supposed to know what this damned shorty does with your back?" "Huh!" "I don't know how it called but I like it." "Tell him that I am your therapist." " Fine, fine!" " Go on, Simon, go on." "I decided to come back home and what do I see?" "This funky flour tipped out Winnie the Pooh with my wife are making cocktail." "OK!" "I'm coming back to my mom!" "Claude!" "Claude!" "Please!" "Claude!" "Please, stop it!" "You just did not understand!" "I understood all." "I wanted to come back to you, but now everything between of us is terminated." "Slut!" "This is how you called me!" "Don't touch me!" "Yeah, let this little sexual maniac touch you." "Don't be such an idiot!" "He's a good guy!" "It's just nowhere to live for him." "He's my guest in my house." " This is my house!" "It was, it is and it will be!" " No." "This is my house!" " I'll do with it whatever I wish!" " Stop it!" " I will eat it!" "Sell it!" "Present it!" " Stop it!" " And if I'll burn it, if I'll want!" " Don't touch my vase!" " And I'll blast everything here like this damn vase!" " Oh, no!" "That's it!" "Goodbye!" "Bad woman." "I hate you!" " He broke the vase." " I see." "Is it new?" "Huh, not so new." "It's just 200 years old." "Did he insult you?" "Huh!" "He said that I'm the fallen woman." "The minx." "You are the minx." "Yeah, he was jealous to me." "Simon, I didn't know that he's such an adherent." " And maybe he loves me?" " He beat you?" " Uh?" " Did he ever beat you?" "What do you mean?" "Me?" "No." "We say:" "If he loves you - he'll beat the crap out of you." "But he even didn't hit you." " Comrades cons, let's drink to my leaving!" " Uh, this is a pososhok." "That means Lyamkin's leaving and we gotta drink some vodka." "Hold it." "Everybody keep well!" "Simon, I wanted to say:" " Wow!" " 4 months is too little term, my Russian didn't manage to be good." " So what?" " Maybe, I'll come to Russia and go to your prison?" "I don't advice it you - there are no good Russians in our prisons." "Simone, this is all presents to your family from all of us." "You were so wonderful convinced." "I wish you good luck!" " Hold it." " I can't drink here!" "Look!" "It's above your heads!" "OK, go on!" "Well done!" " Mmm..." "It's so strong, this Russian vodka!" " Never mind, good luck!" "You're a little man but you're a big man." "Never mind." "There's a phone number here, and it's a keepsake, a family photo." " You've got so many kids!" " Come on!" "Yeah!" "Everything will be tip-top with you!" "Tip-top!" " Everything will be very well!" " Tip-top!" "Tip-top, tip-top, will be well." "Tip-top, tip-top, very well." "Very well!" "Ochen khoroso!" "This is for your kids and this is..." "this is for you!" " For me?" " Uhu." "Is it an enema syringe?" "It's a klaxon for your car, for your beast." "That's a real thing!" "Yeah!" "Let's go!" "Well." "This is good." "Well?" "What's it?" "No... well..." "like this..." "Is this good?" "Move your back  a little bit wider ..." " Is this good?" " It is." "This is no good..." "Gink, I'm tired of you!" "Wait, Simon, you said:" "If he loves you - he'll beat the crap out of you?" "Are you crazy?" "I'm..." "I'm a family friend." " What are you doing?" " I hate you!" " Do you hate me?" " Yes, I hate you!" " And I hate you too." " And I don't feel sorry for anything." "It's all your fault." "I never loved you." "You're so disgusting, vile, nasty type!" "But you don't forgive me." "Do you hate me?" " I hate you very much!" " Oh, Lord!" "And how I hate you..." "How I hate you, hate you..." "Some foreigner ask me to pass it to you." "He said that he's Ded Moroz [Santa Clause]." "Oh, Simon?" " Hey, is it the vase that I broke?" " Oh, it's the vase he glued." "If I ever see this shorty little man with funny moustache..." "Unfortunately, Claude, we won't see him again - neither you, nor I." " How are you?" " Hello, imagine." " What's the problems?" " The problems with engine." " Howdy, guy!" "Hi there!" " Well?" " Hey, listen, buy the bucket!" " What for?" "Really what for?" "He already has one." " A bucket 'Wild Beast' system." " Alright, he had one, now he'll have two." " How much?" " The friendship price." " 500 $." " I hold my money in the book, guys." " And where's the book?" " On the shelf." " And where's the shelf?" " There's no here." "Where, where - home!" "It tickles me!" " Well, wait." " What are we waiting for?" "Let's exchange the things for money!" " A good idea." " Load it - there's no objections!" " Exchange!" "Go ahead!" "Go ahead!" " Why are you standing there gaping?" " Hey you, whore!" " Be faster, guys!" "Guys, what are you doing?" "And the presents?" "What are you doing?" "Where are you trying to get in!" "You don't have the right!" "People, a man is getting robbed here!" " So it's us working." "Our work's nervous." " Be faster, guys!" "She's having a rest on Canary Islands..." "her back... on the sly took it for me." "The guy doesn't know a thing about it." "And keeps smiling." "What are you talking about?" "I didn't get it." "Now you get it?" "I tell you..." " Come on, Red Riding Hood, make a way!" " Do you have any conscience?" " Let's load it, wolves, load it on!" " I ask you if you have any..." " We've got the load case, you know." " Do you have any conscience?" " I'm on the 130th mile." "I'll bring it back later." " Finish it!" "And careful, without loading!" "Get that iron stuff to the scrap metall place and throw this dude off!" "Choo-choo, my darling!" "If you'll get green bucks - make a call, we'll come for it!" "Take it - we don't need no strange things!" "Ugh!" "Go ahead!" "Hello." "Have a seat, Doggy!" "Hold on, Doggy!" "I'm back to the motherland!" "Senya is back!" "Happy New Year, Senya!" "Daddy, we made a pie, played music." "Daddy, listen, we prepared a surprise." "You did a time, Senya, for nothing." "They captured your security man at exchange." "It turns that dollars are fake, almost all are fake!" ""Aliens" call us for work." "Here's a contract - go on, sign it." "Happy new Year!" "Happy New Year, Senya!" "Ave Maria!" " Well done, Senya, you were in time." " Hello, Manya." "Let all the worries will melt down Like a vernant snowdrift in the New Year." "We need just a little happiness And everything will be tip-top!" "Tip-top, tip-top, will be khorosho?" "Well, will be, will be, will be khorosho." "Good kids!" "Come on now you!" "For we become rich for smiles, To have a some patience," "And luck won't leave us, It means everything will be tip-top!" "Good kids!" "And you?" "Come on, come on!" " Very well, very well, dad, but when you get salary?" " Well, don't be rude with your father." " Well, when?" " Tighten your pants." " Well, I go doing lessons." " Well, go doing lessons." "Well, you think yourself, think if there's some logic?" "Someday must become this..." "This... very well." "Ah?" "Переведено на Нотабеноиде" "Переводчики: mykstery, Anjelika9, ibadenglish lidka666, stateofalabama"