"Hey." "Hey." "I need a drink." "You sound just like Dad." "Dad didn't drink." "I know, but your voice is deep like a man." "You want a beer?" "No." "I've an audition in an hour with this great theater company." "I have to memorize a monologue from Shakespeare's Richard ///." "How's that going?" "Bad." "Why would you wanna do Shakespeare?" "This could be a great opportunity for me, you know?" "Really turn things around." "Get people to take me as a serious actor." "Plus I get to wear a crown." "Maybe it would help you memorize it, if you understood the dialogue." "Yeah, but it's like a whole other language." "Let me help you." "Let's start with the first line." "Okay. "Now is the winter of our discontent."" "Interesting." ""Made glorious summer by this sun of York."" "Oh, okay, sure." ""And all the clouds that lowered upon our house in the deep bosom..." "... of the ocean buried."" "You wanna get a pizza?" "Oh, God, yes." "Hey, Mike." "How'd the Shakespeare audition go?" "I didn't get it." "I'm gonna be the understudy." "That's great." "I don't what that means in rocket-science business..." "... butinshowbusiness, it means you suck." "You're looking at this the wrong way." "If the lead gets sick, you're in." "This is an opportunity." "You just be ready to seize it when your moment comes." "Yeah?" "Absolutely." "Remember what happened to Lou Gehrig?" "One day, Wally Pip got sick." "Lou filled in for him." "He was so good, he replaced him permanently." "The guy played, like, every game for 1 3 years." "Michael, I can't play this part that long." "I'm supposed to go to Sea World in three weeks." "The point is you could get your big break, and you need to be ready." "I'll wait for my chance, then I'll go out there and be the best..." "... RichardIIIthereeverwas." "Actually, Sir Laurence Olivier set a pretty high standard for that one." "Maybe I should put a "sir" in front of my name." "Girl." "Girl, girl, girl." "Well, hello." "Hi." "Let me help you with that." "Thanks." "Let me welcome you to the building." "I'm moving out of my apartment here and in with my fiancé." "Here you go." "Joey, she's moving out." "This is bad." "This is really bad." "come on, you didn't have a chance with that girl." "I could still get her." "Wanna see?" "No!" "Just look, an apartment is open in the building." "My mother's gonna wanna move in." "Really?" "Yes!" "When I moved in, she asked if there was an apartment open." "She hates being alone." "Now I'm not there anymore to do yard work..." "... ormovefurniturearound." "You move furniture?" "It's mostly wicker." "This cannot happen." "You have to help me." "All right, all right, all right." "We better take that sign down." "You better just back off, mister!" "Get the... ." "I didn't hit your car!" "You would know if I hit your car!" "I just totally hit that guy's car." "What's going on with you guys?" "Nothing." "What do we have here?" "A plant for rent?" "California." "What a bunch of weirdos, huh?" "I'll get dinner ready." "Hey, guys." "Hi, Gina." "Hey, Howie." "Did you notice anything different about me?" "Did you get shorter?" "No, I've been working out!" "I have a Bowflex." "Good things are happening to my body almost daily." "I can make good things happen to your body almost daily too." "I wanna marry her." "That's not supposed to be here." "It's supposed to go over there." "Listen, we don't want Gina to know about the empty apartment..." "... right now." "Don't mention it to her." "Why can't she know?" "lf she finds out, she'll move in." "We don't want her living here." "She'd move in here?" "I want that." "Howard, no." "I'm gonna tell her." "Gina!" "Hey." "Wanna have another pizza night, you and me?" "That was the best night ever." "We watched Die Hard." "You showed me your Days of our Lives cast photo and pointed out..." "... everyoneyousleptwith." "Well, we can do that again, if you don't mention the empty apartment to Gina." "Really?" "Yeah..." "... but this time we can "die harder."" "The same thing happens, only this time, they're on a plane!" "Guess what, great news." "The guy who plays Richard III has been throwing up all day." "Really?" "Yeah, they think it might be serious." "I'm gonna get to go on!" "I'm so happy for you." "See, I told you." "How are the lines coming?" "Ah, yeah, words." "The worst part of acting." "I can't get that opening monologue." "I think I have too much information stored in my brain." "It's an interesting theory." "Hey, guys." "Hey." "What's been happening to the "For Rent" signs?" "We've been taking them down and tearing them up." "And why have you been doing that?" "If my mom finds out there's an apartment here, she'll wanna move in." "That might be okay." "We're getting along well." "Really?" "You think you'd want her as a tenant?" "Let's do a little role play." "I'll be Gina, and you come and ask me for the rent." "Okay." "Gina" "Bite me, blondie!" "That felt so real." "You know what, you're right." "This can't happen." "She's crazy." "Whoa, Alex." "We can talk about her like that, but you can't." "That's my sister." "Yeah, that's my mother." "Oh, my God." "I am so sorry." "We're just messing with you." "Oh, my God." "She's crazy!" "We have to find someone else to live in that apartment." "Is anybody interested in it?" "No." "I was thinking of an open house." "Tomorrow." "She has to go to San Diego for a wig convention." "San Diego." "Only 20 more days till Sea World." "Okay, this can totally work." "I just have to rent it to someone by tomorrow." "I wish my husband were here." "He's the salesman in the family." "Really?" "Yeah, the last apartment we had open..." "... herentedno problem,eventhough there was bad plumbing, faulty heating..." "... andmoldin thewalls." "Weren't we the last people to move in?" "So Sea World, huh?" "All hail King Meatball." "You'll come see my play tonight, right?" "Pass up the chance to see you in makeup and tights?" "That's gonna be my christmas card." "Are you ready to go on?" "Yeah, I got everything down..." "... exceptthatdamn opening monologue." "What about sitting in front and mouth the words to me?" "I don't know it." "You know it better than I do." "Hello?" "Okay." "Thanks." "Bye." "Paternity test results?" "No, that was the theater calling." "I'm going on tonight." "You knew that." "Different theater, different play." "What?" "I liked understudying so much, I took another job." "I over understudied!" "Now, why would you do that?" "I figured if I understudied in more than one, it'd increase my odds  ofgettingon stage." "You know, you think just enough to really screw things up for yourself." "I know, I know." "I can't believe this." "What are the chances of two people getting sick at the same time?" "Well, it's flu season." "Get a flu shot!" "You didn't get a flu shot." "I'm not in the play!" "What am I gonna do?" "Hey, Joey, there was a weird phone message for you." "Your producer called, said you were going on tonight." "Yeah, honey, he knows already." "He's in two plays tonight." "Actually, I should hear this." "The message was Trent's stuck in Florida, so they need you to play Gus." "You're in three plays?" "I was afraid it was Gus!" "Damn it, Trent!" "Unprofessional, unprofessional, unprofessional!" "So, what's the third play about?" "I don't remember!" "Joey, what are you gonna do?" "Well, I don't know." "I can only do one." "Don't do the one with the monologue in it." "But I haven't studied the dancing in that cowboy thing at all." "I don't know it!" "Oh, please, do that one." "I can't believe this." "What are the chances?" "It's like everything is lining up to screw me." "It's the understudy perfect storm!" "Joey." "Thank you for coming in." "Listen, the reason that I called" "No, no, no, you didn't call me." "I called you." "Oh, good." "I was just about to make something up." "I got a real problem." "I need your help." "I took an understudy role in this play" "Oh, no." "I hate plays!" "No, that's not the problem." "Oh, it gets worse?" "I signed up to understudy in three plays, and they all want me to go on tonight." "What?" "Why can't you just have a coke problem like everyone else?" "I'll give that some thought." "All right." "You have to do three plays at once." "Lucky for you, I am the queen of multitasking." "Right now, as we are talking, I am doing butt clenches." "And I'm learning Spanish in this earpiece." "Mi llamo Bobbie." "I'm trying to seduce a Mexican soap star." "All right." "Let's see if we can juggle these." "All three plays are at the same time?" "No, no, no." "One starts a little earlier." "One, I'm not in until the second act." "Great." "So you can do both of those." "And for the third, maybe we can get the actor to go on." "How am I gonna do that?" "I'd offer to call and threaten to ruin his career, but it couldn't get much worse." "He's doing a play." "Maybe I can just go talk to him." "You do that." "You'll think of something to say." "You're a big, bright guy." "Yeah, yeah, I get that a lot." "Really?" "Well, enough of that dónde está la playa crap." "How do you say, "Take off my bra"?" "Hey, Alex, how's the open house going?" "Okay." "Had a few bites, but no one's interested." "Did you mention there's a celebrity in the complex?" "There is?" "Who?" "Sir Joey Tribbiani." "Oh, yeah." "Well, let's keep that quiet." "We don't want the paparazzi crawling around here." "Yeah, I hate those bastards, always following me around in their helicopters." "Well, you better rent it soon." "Gina's gonna be back in a couple hours." "I'm doing the best I can." "It's not like I've got the greatest prospects here." "Don't be choosy." "The important thing is to rent it to someone who's not my sister." "And maybe someone who's hot and has Hollywood connections." "And HDTV." "Get out of here!" "Hey, Michael." "Hey, looks like there's a lot of people at the open" "Hi, Gina." "You're here." "What happened to your wig convention?" "A lot of stylists had the flu, so they canceled the whole thing." "Flu, you are killing me!" "All right, Michael, I'm just gonna get your laundry, and I'll be on my way." "She been here long?" "Did she see the open house?" "No, she came before it started." "She just has to stay till it's over." "So how will we keep her here?" "Wait." "Keeping her here will be easy." "What's her favorite thing to do?" "Telling us what to do." "Be specific." "Telling me what to do." "Exactly." "So just ask her advice about something." "Like what?" "Don't worry." "I'll help." "I've been working on improv with my theater company." "Watch me think on my feet." "This is scary." "Got your laundry." "I'm gonna take off." "Mom, you know what, stay." "Just because I wanna talk." "I have a problem." "With what?" "Well, it's a problem with" "A girl." "Yes, with a girl." "Really?" "What's her name?" "Raisin." "Yes, her name is Raisin, and she's a little bit" "Cajun." "She's a little bit cajun." "And her father's a dirty cop!" "I'm glad you came to me about this." "Here's what you're gonna do." "You actually have some advice about my Cajun girlfriend, Raisin?" "First, there's a few things that you two need to get straight." "Great, I'm taking off." "Where are you going?" "Time-wise, I can still do Richard ///, and then make it for the second act..." "... inthecowboymusical." "Now I gotta convince the sick actor..." "... in the third play that he's well enough to go on instead of me." "Okay, I'm ready." "Hey, Tim." "Who are you?" "It's me, Joey, your understudy." "What are you doing here?" "Your roommate let me in." "I really wanted to thank you..." "... forgivingme thechancetogo on  tonight." "I am not gonna let you down." "I've been making the role of Harry my own." "You mean "Henry."" "Good thing I'm getting out of this one." "Anyway, I just wanna tell you a little story, Tim." "Do you like baseball?" "Not really, but I like A-Rod." "He's yummy." "Amen." "Anyway, you remind me of this first baseman, Wally Pip." "Why?" "Did he die with an understudy in his room?" "No." "No, but he was sick one day, and he allowed a young..." "... no-namebackupto come into the game for him." "And he never made it back into the line-up." "You know why?" "Why?" "Because his replacement turned out to be Lou Gehrig..." "... oneofthemostbelovedfiguresin baseball, hitting almost 500 home runs." "You do know what a home run is, right?" "I'm not that gay." "Sorry." "Anyway, I just wanted to leave you with that little story..." "... beforeI goouttonight and act one out of the park." "Why are you telling me this?" "Are you threatening me?" "If I was, would it work?" "Is this some kind of All About Eve situation?" "If it was, would it work?" "Maybe I am starting to feel a little better." "Really?" "Yeah." "I think I can go on tonight." "If that's what you want, I'm not gonna stop you." "If only I hadn't stopped by." "Coming in here and trying to talk me into going on..." "... youmaybe  the worst understudy ever." "You have no idea." "Did you rent the apartment yet?" "I did, finally, to a really nice girl who just moved here from New York." "I hope it's not someone I slept with and never called back." "I doubt it." "I mean, what are the odds?" "Actually, quite high." "Yeah." "come on, let's go tell Michael the good news." "Well, she really sounds worth fighting for." "But remember, the Cajun are an emotional people." "Mom, thanks for the advice." "I wanna meet this Raisin." "That's gonna be difficult." "She lives" "In a submarine." "She... ." "She lives on a submarine." "All right, I'm gonna take off." "Okay." "Okay, keeping the secret's been torturing me." "I can't eat." "I can't sleep." "I can barely Bowflex." "Gina, there's an apartment for rent across the way." "What?" "They didn't want me to tell you, but I want you to live here." "I think you deserve to know, because you're super, super pretty!" "No more Die Hard for you, Howie." "Really?" "Because I just ordered pizza." "Bring it down, and we'll talk." "You know about this?" "She had nothing to do with it." "It's true." "I would've rented it to you in a second." "I love having you around." "Bite me, blondie." "Okay." "Wow." "So all day you've been trying to keep me..." "... fromfindingoutaboutthis place?" "You guys must have really not wanted me to live here." "Gina, I just thought it would be better for Michael." "Look, Mom..." "... I'm sorry." "I just... ." "I like things the way they are." "I like having my own space." "Me too." "What?" "There was a time, not too long ago..." "... I would've wanted to live there and be closer to you." "But I have to say, this is kind of working out for me." "I went straight from being a kid to raising a kid." "I've never really lived alone before." "I've never lived alone, either." "And it's scary  but it's nice." "I got the whole place to myself." "I can listen to bad music whenever I want." "I can light my smelly candles that you hate, and I can take super long baths." "He's always interrupting my baths." "I guess I'm figuring out who I am away from you." "And it's strange, but I'm kind of having fun." "What?" "It's just" " It's weird." "I didn't want you to smother me, but now that you're not doing it anymore  it's actually kind of sad." "You know, I guess things are changing." "Yeah." "In fact, maybe you should start doing your own laundry." "And maybe you guys should start cooking for yourselves too." "Hey, you are this boy's mother." "Now is the winter of our discontent." "What's the next line?" "What's the next line?" "Oh, God, please help me get through this, and I promise from now on..." "... Iwillnotunderstudyformore than two plays at once." "Now is the winter of our discontent." "Made glorious summer by this sun of York." "And all the clouds..." "... thatlowereduponour house, in the deep bosom of the ocean buried." "Now..." "... areourbrowsbound with victorious wreaths..." "... ourbruisèdarmshungup for monuments..." "... oursternalarmschanged..." "... tomerrymeetings,our dreadful marches to delightful measures." "Also, enjoy the cowboys!" "I can't believe I finally nailed that speech." "It was in the wrong play, but still... ." "I would like to make a toast to my brother, to his L.A. stage debut." "To acting." "To acting." "To independence." "To independence." "To independence." "And to Michael and Raisin." "To Michael and Raisin." "To Michael and Raisin." "Subtitles by SDI Media Group" "[ENGLISH]"