"Male announcer:" "And now, nickelodeon and dreamworks'" "Monsters vs. Aliens." " ¶ mva" " ¶ mva" " ¶ monsters vs. Aliens" "¶ it's us vs. Them" "¶ foe vs. Friend" " ¶ brain vs. B.O.B." " ¶ it's a super-freaky job" " Oh, yeah, it's freaky." " ¶ mva" " ¶ monsters vs. Aliens" " [cackles] - ¶ monsters vs. Aliens" "¶ monsters vs. Aliens" " ¶ mva [dramatic music]" "¶" "[beeping] - this, monsters," "Is where the unidentified flying object crashed." " Right here on the table?" " In australia, bob." " So it's not unidentified." "Technically australian." " Yes, bob, you're totally right." "It's easier than explaining." "[breath spray spritzes]" " Monsters, I don't need to tell you how bad things got" "The last time aliens set foot on earth." " Indeed, mr." "President." "The golden gate bridge" "Sustained catastrophic structural damage." " Bridge?" "Dr. Cockroach, I'm talking about" "My approval ratings." "Fleeing like a ninny" "Hurt my "tough on extraterrestrials" image." "Also, the wet pants didn't help." "So, I need you to stop these aliens--hard." " Mr. President, you can count on team monster." "[heroic music]" "¶ [engine whirring]" "¶ [engine whines]" "¶" " ¶ mva" " Ooh!" "Ooh!" "[device trilling]" "These are the smallest aliens I've ever seen!" " Not aliens, bob." "Those are myrmecia desertorum," "Commonly known as "bull ants." - ah." "Then these are the biggest ants I've ever seen!" " Indeed, but we're not here for ants." "We're here to investigate" "This mysterious object from the stars." " Okay, let's get this over with." "Where do I give 'em the ol' one two?" " Whoa, link, I'm not sure" ""the ol' one two" is the answer here." " Susan, when it comes to aliens," "The ol' one two is always the answer." " It doesn't seem to be doing anything weird-- [electronic beeping] whoa!" "Okay, that felt weird-- and wrong." "[device hisses]" "Really wrong!" " Susan, it's absorbing your quantonium." " No!" "[shudders]" " Susan, you look different." "You changed your hair." " Bob, she's-- just take a look." "She's small." "Whoa!" "That all you brought?" "You're on earth, baby." "Link's hizzy." "You gotta bring more than..." "[ant screeches]" "That." "[ant roars]" " Wait, wait, that is the biggest ant I've ever seen." " I don't suppose you could talk to it." " Sorry, I don't speak ant." "[ant growls and screeches]" " Sweet mama monger!" "Look at the size of that thing." " [high-pitched shriek]" "He did it." " Mr. President?" "Well, I thought you were in washington." " I was, but with the whole alien situation" "I thought I should be here, underground, safe." "We are safe, right?" " General monger, sir." "We've got another unidentified flying object" "And it's coming right at us!" " [high-pitched shriek]" "Totally him again." "Get it together, man." "[ant screeches] - [yelps]" " Whoa!" "Can this guy dance or what?" " [yelping]" " Coming through." "[ant screeches]" "Brilliant strategy," "Drafting a local to fight for you." "Now, let's see what makes you tick." " Back off, ant." "You don't wanna tussle with all this muscle." "Ow!" "[pained groans]" " Get away from him!" " Ooh!" "Ahh!" "[ant screeches]" " Hey, over here." "Here, boy." "He's like a big pup-- [chuckles] who's a bitey scamp?" "[chuckles] ticklish." "Ticklish!" "[chuckles]" " Tell me you got a plan, doc." " This is alien technology, link." "It would take the brightest minds" "From the finest universities" "Decades to unravel its most basic workings." " So you can't fix me?" " Dear girl, don't be silly." "I was just putting my forthcoming accomplishment" "In context." "[device hisses]" " Oh, no!" "Now I'm growing!" " Voila." "Now I simply transfer the quantonium" "Back into susan, and once again," "The ginormica we all know and love--[yelps] [machine pulsates] hmm." " Uh, should it be making that wo-wo-wo noise?" " I would say run!" "[explosion]" " Oh, drat." " General monger, I'm going to lead" "From behind on this one." "[shrieks] [grunts]" " Sorry, sir." "The constitution states the president" "Must make first contact with alien visitors." " Greeting aliens is in the constitution?" " The secret constitution, article four." "Been that way since teddy roosevelt." "[door hisses, whirs]" "[camera phone clicks]" " [yelps] [pained grunts]" " Gravity." "Misjudged the gravity." "Ooh!" "Ah, sorry about that." "Now, where are my notes?" "Oh, yes." "Of course." "[clears throat]" "Take." "Me." "To." "Your." "Leader." " I'm not sure how I feel about this." " Good news, susan." "There are still trace amounts of quantonium in your blood." " And the "good" part is?" " You're .00004% taller than you should be." " I'm supposed to be ginormica." ""ever-so-slightly-larger- than-normal-ica"" "Isn't going to cut it." " Buckle up, rock stars." "We just got word from area fifty-something." "We got another alien situation." " Where?" " At area fifty-something." "[engine whines] [brakes screech]" " Uh, this man is our leader." " Uh, technically," "I'm just one of three branches of government." "A lot of checks and balances on my, uh" " Mr. President, your most esteemed excellency," "On behalf of the rest of the galaxy," "I want to say..." "Sorry." " Pardon?" "What?" " We feel just awful about the whole gallaxhar kerfuffle." "Very embarrassing for us." "That's why-- [phone ringtone plays]" " Hold that thought." "[beep]" "Kinda in the middle of something." "[garbled chatter] milk and beef jerky." "Okay." "I'll stop on the way home, but it'll be a while." "[kissing] okay, bye." "Bye." "[clears throat] you were saying?" " You see, we feel awful" "About the gallaxhar incident and would like to-- [phone ringtone plays] - yes?" "[garbled chatter] that's tonight?" "Well, record it and we'll watch it later." "No, don't watch it without me." "It's the finale." "You'll say something, then I'll know who won and-- [clears throat] gotta go." "Bye." " [mumbling] gallaxhar." " Continue." " Y-yes." "We would like to-- [phone ringtone plays] - ugh." "There's no peace and quiet when you're commander-in-chief." " Perhaps a little alien technology will help." "[chuckles]" " No signal?" "Nice." " If cutting off all communication" "Is the only way for us to commence" "Intergalactic diplomacy, I say, "so be it."" " Alien technology." "I like it, mr., uh" " Coverton." "[joints crack]" " Area fifty-something, do you copy?" " Frequency's all jammed." " I don't like this." " And I don't like ham salad." " As I was saying, I'm here to build bridges." "Or, uh, rebuild them, as the case may be." " Sweet molasses!" " So let me get this straight, mr." "Coverton." "You don't wanna flambe our cities, harvest our organs," "And/or turn us into a mindless zombie work force?" " Not until I know you better." "[cackles]" " [shrieks]" " Kidding." "[chuckles]" "I so got you." " [chuckles] you did, you cutup." "The uggies always make up for it in personality, don't they?" " But seriously, mr." "President," "I feel like I already know you so well." "In fact, I have a gift just for you." "[air hisses]" " [yelps]" " My bio-thermal scanners" "Have located what could be an alien." "Definitely an alien." "And it's--sweet tooth!" "The president!" " What?" " He's trapped in some sort of devious alien device." " Ham salad." " I'm getting something on the parabolic mic." " [high-pitched shriek]" " Uh, I don't think that's the president." "Sounds like a little girl." " [high-pitched shriek]" " No, bob, that's our president." " Link, we are going in hot!" " [high-pitched laughing]" "I love this thing!" " Everybody loves a fun bubble." " I'm not wild about it." " Oh, please, general." "Your leader is" " About to be rescued by team monster!" " Monsters, no!" " [screams]" " Whee!" "Whoo!" "Yeah!" "Everybody rumba!" "[explosion]" " Monsters, stand down!" " Ignore the general." "He's obviously under the alien fiend's" "Mind control." " [yelps] [groans]" " This is for earth's most-dominant species." "[light slap] - yeah, humankind!" "Whoo!" " Actually, I was thinking of cockroaches," "But whatever." "[light slap]" " We got you, mr." "President." " [screams]" "Oof!" "[groans]" "Did you..." "Change your hair?" " Mr. President, you're safe now." "Monsters have the situation under control." " [laughs] whoo!" " [groans] - right?" " [kisses]" " What were you monsters thinking?" " I wasn't." "No brain!" " We saw an alien." "In all probability, evil." " So you just run in and give the ol' one two?" " Yep!" "When it comes to aliens," "The ol' one two is always the answer." "That's what link says." "Right, buddy?" " Yeah, I might have said something like that." " But what about the cylinder" "That slurped up all my quantonium?" " Sounds like a stray balgarbian probe." "They're always leaving those about the galaxy." " So it wasn't one of yours?" " [scoffs] of course not." "[warbling tone]" "Simple coincidence." "Mr. President, I feel unsafe with these monsters around." "Maybe I'll come back when you're ready, in a..." "Century or two." " But--but I won't be president then!" "What if I got rid of the monsters?" "All:" "What?" " You mean kicked them to the curb?" " They're out of here." "[all gasp]" "They are so fired." " Mr. President, you can't do that!" " Just did." "I decided." "I'm the decider-er." "So it's decider-ed." "It's aliens in and monsters out." " Yay!" "Wait, boo?" "Boo!" " Please, general." "Maybe you could get the president to reconsider." " Are they still here?" " Hi, mr." "President!" " So, what do we do now?" "I kinda have a limited skill set." " Mr. President," "Welcome to the power center of this ship." "But please, whatever you do, don't touch anything." "These instruments are very-- [loud beep]" "No" " I touched." "Is that a problem?" " What in blue blazes?" " Oh, dear." "[yelps] [groans]" "He activated the self-defense mode!" "Flee!" "Flee for your life!" "[lasers blasting]" " What do we do now?" "We're monsters without a cause." " Yes, we do seem fairly pointless." " You want pointless?" "I'm not even sure I qualify as a monster anymore." " I'm not pointless, but I kinda wish I was." "[explosion]" " What was that?" " Give you one guess." " Go, go!" "The president is trapped in there." "Uh-oh." "[battle cry]" "Do something!" "It's your dag-burned space ship!" " Yes, yes, I'm working on it." "Mr. President, the self-defense mode" "Can be deactivated with a simple code." " Gotcha." "Hit me with that code." " The first letter is zrub." " Zrub?" " It's the one that looks a bit" "Like an upside-down ice cream cone that's on fire." " Uh, how about one that's sort of" "A three-legged wolverine with a bagpipe?" " No, that's quav--aah!" "So, bad news." "Your president is apparently, um, doomed." "Which I suppose means you'll be in the market" "For a new world leader." " Negatory!" "The president will be rescued." "All I need are-- - monsters." "[strained groans]" "Reporting for duty." " And me!" "Monster on the, uh, inside." " Bob, show them why you're indestructible." " Indestruct-o-ball." "Good idea!" " My turn." "Hop in." " [whistles]" " They have no idea what they're doing." "They could make things worse!" " [screams]" " Then you better get in there and show 'em what for." " Oh, no, no, no, no, no." "My people do not "get in there."" "We stand on the sidelines and make scathing quips." " Get in there!" " [groans]" " Hey, look who decided to join us." " It's your ship." "Feel free to lead the way." " I'm here strictly in an advisory role." "Now, the first wave of defense will be" " Agh!" " Yes, those." "[hydraulics hiss]" " Hey!" " This is fun!" "Whee!" " Whoa!" "Ooh!" "[laughs]" "The alien technology failed to anticipate-- [groans]" "My cockroach ability-- [grunts]" "To withstand-- [grunts]" "The worst of-- [grunts] [screams]" "Going--going-- going great in there." "Going--lotsa laughs." "Going good." " [grunts]" "Follow me." " Now careful." "The next chamber will prove much more difficult." " Difficult for you, funky feet," "But link's on this like butter on bread." "Ugh!" " That's an immobilizer ray." " Yeah, thanks." "I get that now." "[yelps]" " [groans] - sorry." "Immobilizer ray." " [groans] [all scream]" " It's hopeless." "We'll never make it to the president." "Oh." "So what say we give up, hmm?" "Listen, I've been dying to try a special earth beverage." "Uh, "leemonade" I believe it's called." "Is it good?" "Hmm?" " Susan, I have an idea." "At least, I think it's an idea." " Give it to me, bob." "The idea?" " Oh, right!" "Let the ray hit me and then use me as a shield." " Bob, that's brilliant." " Okay, get ready to roll." " Ready!" " [laughs] that tickles." " Thanks, bob." " No problem." "Yep, feeling pretty immobile now." "Whoa!" " [sighs] [both groan]" " Hey, guys, you're here too!" " [groans]" " The president should be behind" " This door." " [gasps]" "Hey, that's like the thing that zapped me!" " Oh, let's not waste our time bickering." "We have a president to save!" "See, there he is." " Coverton, thank goodness you're here." "And you too..." "Uh, I wanna say sarah?" " Susan." " Don't step on the floor!" "It's pressure sensitive." "That is virtually unbreakable." " Mr. President, your approval rating is dropping." " [high-pitched shriek] [glass cracks]" "Oh, clever." "Well played, sarah." " [annoyed] yes, sir." " Carefully, mr." "President." "Climb onto my lap." " [grunting]" "Whoa!" " Aah!" "Oh, kralnaz." " Tell me, on your planet," ""oh, kralnaz" means something good." " No." "It means the ship is leaking hyperion," "And when it blows, it will destroy half the world." " Oh, kralnaz." " Hold on." "Which half of the world, huh?" "[glass shatters] [hissing] [explosion]" " Duck and cover!" "[massive explosion]" " Whoo!" "That was awesome." "Did you see that, susan?" "Susan?" "Hey, where's susan?" " I'm afraid that susan is..." "Gone." " Really?" "I hope she went someplace nice." " I'm sure she has, buddy." " [grunts]" " Whoa." "All:" "Susan!" " Once again, monsters save the world." " Please, half the world." " Fascinating." "Apparently, the quantonium left in ginormica's system" "Absorbed the explosive hyperion energy" "And reactivated her powers." "And it did more than that." "Susan, think small thoughts." " Small thoughts?" "Okay." "Snowflakes, ladybugs," "Those itty-bitty hot dog hors d'oeuvres." " Cool." " Well, I'll be." " Check me out." "I can totally control my ginorma-sizing." " All right, susan." "That's really-- aah!" " Sorry, bob." "Okay, maybe not totally totally control." " No problem!" " Monsters, for your performance in saving me and the world," "But mostly me," "I'm officially welcoming you back" "To area fifty-something." "[all cheer]" " Yeah!" " Boo!" "No, wait." "Yay!" "Right?" " It's gonna be great having you work" "Alongside my new bff, coverton." " What?" "An alien is staying here?" " I know." "I'm so jealous." " Oh, mr." "President." "Were I to go to washington with you," "We'd just waste all our time giggling and gossiping." "Point is, from now on," "You guys are all one big, happy family." " [forced] that's..." "Awesome." " Super..." "Awesome." "[phone ringtone plays] - hello?" "[garbled chatter] I'm leaving right now." "[joints crack]" " Unfortunately, my coverlord," "Our plan to neutralize ginormica failed." "But I have the full trust of the president." "And even better, I have been placed" "In the earthlings' most secret base." "[knocking]" " Hurry up in there!" "Mother nature's calling me with a bullhorn!" " Gotta run." "Coverton out." "[toilet flushes]" "Sorry, your earth commodes are so confusing."