"It's Granite Boy still in the lead... then Fossil second by two lengths, Volcano third." "But wait a minute." "Sabertooth is starting to move up on the outside." " He said "Sabertooth," Barney." " I know." "Come on, Sabertooth!" "Heading for the far turn, it's Granite Boy in front..." "Fossil is second, Sabertooth is third, Slagheap fourth..." "Volcano, Earthquake, and Gravelpit." "Coming into the stretch, Sabertooth takes the lead... with Fossil second, then Granite Boy, Slagheap..." "Volcano, Earthquake, and Gravelpit." "Watch this, Barney-boy." "Seven ball, the easy way." " Sorry, Barney." " Great shot, Fred." "Nothing, Barney." "Watch this one." "Looks like you're in trouble with the eight ball." "Are you kidding?" "All you need is the right tool for any job." "Here's the one I was looking for." "Eight ball, the impossible way." "Watch this, Barney." "The trick shot to end all trick shots." "Fred, we are going to enter you in the Olympics." "And why not?" "Hey, Dan, how about some cue chalk?" "Coming." "Here you are." "Use it in good health." "I won't be bringing it to you much longer." " Why not, Dan?" " I'm selling the place." "You're kidding." "No kidding." "I'm retiring to that little chicken ranch." "Get it?" "I'm only asking $2,000 for it, lock, stock, and barrel." "Funny thing you should mention this, right, Barney?" "Mention what, Fred?" "My friend and I have been looking for a deal just like this... haven't we, Barney?" " Who?" " Us, that's who." "One thing though, fellas." "The deal has got to be strictly cash." "Cash?" "Excuse me, fellas." "Got to get the phone." "What's the idea of kicking me, Fred?" "Don't you get it?" "This place is a gold mine." "If we could buy it, we could get rich and be our own bosses." "Yeah, and another thing, we could play every day for nothing." "Well, you can forget it." "We could never raise that kind of money. $2,000." "You know, I had $2,000 in my hand this afternoon." " $2,000?" " Yup." "I was making a bet for the boss with a guy named Herman." "Your tightwad boss betting on races?" "Yup." "Sabertooth in the fifth, at 40-to-1." "40-to-1?" "He must think it's a sure thing." "Look, if old tightwad bets on it, it is." "Did I tell you he locks the paper clips in the safe every night?" "Wait a minute." "Just a minute." "Barney, we own a business." "Like how?" "We go to the track tomorrow, bet $50 at 40-to-1... and what do we get?" " We get to play pool for nothing." " Oh, boy." " One little thing, Fred." " Yeah?" " Have you got the $50?" " No, have you?" "We were sure living there for a couple of minutes." "Wish I had the nerve to use my pay." "Why not?" "Because Wilma would kill me, that's why not." " Well, tell her you lost it." " I tried that once." "Oh, no." "Wilma's too smart." " Look, suppose somebody held you up?" " Suppose they did." "Wilma couldn't blame me for that." "What an idea!" "How do I think of them?" "You're a genius, Fred, that's how." "A sheer genius." "What's wrong?" " Wilma will still kill me if she finds out." "So you'll die rich." "After all, it's for Wilma's sake." "That's right, I'm doing it for her." "I'll be able to give the little woman all the things she deserves." "All right, Barney." "Now get this straight." "You're going in first, and you break the news to Wilma." "Yeah." "I'll lay it on good and thick." "And then when you get her wailing and crying, I'll stagger in." "She'll be so glad to see me, she won't even think about the money." "Okay, pal." "But just give me enough time." " I almost forgot." " Forgot what, Fred?" "Here, you better hold my pay envelope." " But what for?" " Lf Wilma finds it on me... our holdup story's in the ash can, that's what for." "Get going." "Fred's not home, Barney." "Wilma, I only hope he makes it home." "What are you talking about?" "I don't know how to break this to you, Wilma... but a terrible thing happened." "Fred was on his way home, and two guys jump him in the alley." "They gave him a terrible beating." "He tried to defend himself... but they overpowered him, and took his whole week's pay." "Now, Wilma, take it easy." "Don't get hysterical." " I don't believe one word of it." " But, Wilma..." " Not one word." " But, Wilma, wait till you see him." "A little dirt on the face." "Rip the fur a little." "That ought to do it." "I tell you, I don't believe it." "Easy, pal." "Try to hold on, Fred." "You know we all love you." "I know." "Especially Wilma." "Take it easy, honey." "I'm going to be all right." "Don't be hysterical." "Stop crying." "Just be glad I'm alive." "What did you do with the money?" "The money?" "What kind of a wife are you?" " Three tough guys jumped me and..." " Barney said there were two." "Two?" "Well, one of them was a midget." "Barney couldn't see him." "It's the phone." "You two midget brains better think of something better before I get back." "I'm coming." "How about a woman like that?" "She's tough to convince, that's all I can say." "I'd have to be half-dead before she'd even half-believe me." "We gotta do something, Fred." "And fast." "I hate to do this, Fred." "One, two, three, four." "Testing." "He's out like a light." " Now what?" " Fred just keeled over." " From what?" "Overacting?" " No, from this bump." "Oh, my poor husband." "He's coming to." "Fred, will you ever forgive me for doubting you?" "Watch him, Barney, while I get some cold water and a towel." "Say something, Fred." "You knucklehead." "Are you trying to kill me?" "I had to think of something quick." "What else could I do?" "I'm thinking of something quick now." "Can you guess what I'm gonna do?" "Now, Fred, I just called the doctor and you're not to stir till he gets here." "I'd like to stir Barney." "With a bat, that is." "Hey, Doc, what's all that..." "Search me." "I saw a doctor do it on a TV show once." "Quiet, please, while I test the reflexes." "Just what I thought." "Concussion of the concuss mit complications." " Complications?" " Ja." "Bumpus of the nogginus." ""Bumpus of the nogginus"?" "What's that?" " Search me." "L..." " I know, you saw it on a TV show." "Now, one week in bed... feed him liquids, soft foods, rest and quiet, and all that jazz." "I'll take good care of him, Doctor." "Good." "Then I got to hurry now." "What is it, Doctor?" "An emergency?" "What emergency?" "I got to go home and watch TV." " Fred, how's it going?" " Terrible." "She won't let me out of here." "She watches me like a hawk." "Tell her you got to go to work." "I did, so she called the boss." "She told him I'd be out for a week." "The last bus leaves for the track in an hour." " I'll go down and bet the money." " You?" "What do you know about betting at the track?" " "I saw it on a TV show once."" " Now, cut that out." "If anybody goes, we go together." "Oh, no, you don't." "You're not going anyplace." "I'm going to the market to get some brontosaurus soup bones... and don't you dare move while I'm gone." "I guess it's goodbye to Boulder Dan's place." " Yeah, we're dead." " Gee, I sure hate to give up." " It's a cinch." " What's a cinch?" "You know the fellow you bet the boss's $2,000 with?" " What's his name?" " You mean Herman." "That's it, Fred." "Where's the phone?" "Hello, Herman?" "$50 on Sabertooth in the fifth." "Right on the nose." "Yeah, right on the nose." "You got it, Herman?" "Herman, you got it?" "I regret that due to circumstances beyond my control..." "I cannot conduct business any further at this time." "But, Herman, listen." "Herman, you gotta..." "But..." "Well?" "Herman's out of business." "So we're out of business." "No, we're not." "We just got time to catch the last bus for the track." "Come on." " What will you tell Wilma?" " I'll think of something later." "Hold that bus!" "Hold it!" "Just made it." "Oh, boy, if we missed it, we'd have had to walk." "Entries for the fifth race now entering the paddock." "Here they come." "Sabertooth is number five." "There's nothing more beautiful than a thoroughbred dinosaur." "If you ask me, they're breeding them a little too fine." "There he is." "Number five." "It's Sabertooth." "Smart-Iooking jockey, too." "What's the matter with him?" "Don't worry, that's the way I like to see a dinosaur I'm betting on." "He's saving his strength." "Come on, let's go." "We got to bet." "That's right, $50 on Sabertooth to win." "Let me see the ticket, Fred." "That ain't just a ticket, friend." "That's our declaration of independence." "Right." "I can see it up there in lights:" ""Fred and Barney, Money Unlimited."" "It's not the money, Barney." "It's what I'm going tell old Gravelpuss that I'm looking forward to." " Yeah, your boss." " You mean he's going be my ex-boss." " I'm gonna walk into his office." " Yeah, Fred." "I'm gonna take one of his cigars and light it." "Yeah, Fred." "I'm gonna grab hold of his nose and say..." "Boss." "Flintstone, I thought you were sick." "I am, I got bumpus of the nogginus." "Look." "What are you doing here at the track?" "Ask him, he's the one that's carrying." "Well, make it a good story." "We came down here to put $50 on Sabertooth's nose... so we could make enough to buy Boulder Dan's billiard parlor and retire..." "Bigmouth." "Retire?" "Don't pay any attention to him, boss." "He's out of his mind." "He doesn't know what he's saying." "What am I saying?" "I'm going into business for myself." "Put me down, Barney." "Flintstone, I ought to fire you." "Look, I'm scared." "Next year I might buy your cheap establishment and fire you." "Then I won't have to listen to your barking and whining anymore." "Now that you're out of a job, I'm worried about one thing." "Suppose Sabertooth doesn't win." "Listen, if we're gonna be partners... you got to start thinking positive, right now." "Like, Sabertooth will win." "Excuse me, sir." "Coming through, sir." "$1,000 on number seven." "That's Gravelpit, son." "Yes, sir, Colonel." "Here you are, Colonel." " Did you hear that?" " I sure did." "He bet $1,000 on Gravelpit." "That's right, son. $1,000 on Gravelpit." "I can't lose." " Say, want a real tip, son?" " Yeah, sure." "Don't bet on the races!" "That's a joke, son." " Say, who was that?" " Him?" "He owns Sabertooth." " But he just bet on Gravelpit." " So who's betting on Sabertooth?" " We are, and we want to change our bet." " Too late, fellows." "They're off and running." "Fossil goes to the front." "Granite Boy second, Slagheap a close third." "Volcano and Earthquake head and head fourth." "Gravelpit is fifth and Sabertooth." "Into the clubhouse turn." "Fossil still in front by a length." "Granite Boy second..." "Volcano moving up to third." "Slagheap a close fourth." "Then comes Earthquake, Gravelpit, and Sabertooth." "Oh, boy." "Going into the backstretch." "Granite Boy challenges Fossil and takes the lead." "Come on, Gravelpit!" "Come on, Sabertooth." "Did you say "Sabertooth," son?" "I told you all:" "Don't bet on the races." "Come on, Gravelpit." "It's Granite Boy still in the lead... then Fossil, second by two lengths, Volcano third." "But wait a minute." "Sabertooth is starting to move up on the outside." " He said "Sabertooth," Barney." " I know." "Come on, Sabertooth!" "Heading for the far turn, it's Granite Boy in front..." "Fossil is second, Sabertooth is third, Slagheap fourth..." "Volcano, Earthquake, and Gravelpit." "Coming into the stretch, Sabertooth takes the lead... with Fossil second, then Granite Boy, Slagheap..." "Volcano, Earthquake, and Gravelpit." "At the eighth pole." "It's Sabertooth by a leg." "Fossil is second, then Granite Boy third..." "Slagheap, Volcano, Earthquake, and Gravelpit." "They're coming to the finish line with Sabertooth still in front." "Here they come." "Watch it closely." "And the winner is Gravelpit!" "Did he say "Gravelpit"?" "That's what he said, son." "Gravelpit." "Gee, if there's one thing I can't stand... it's to see a grown man cry." "Attention, please." "It's a photo finish." "The official result in just a moment." " Cross your fingers, Barney." " I am." " And your toes, too." " I am." "I'm crossing them." "And here comes the photo." "The photo is in the judge's hands." "The judge is studying the photo." "And we'll have the official decision in just a moment." "Just a moment now." "The winner is Sabertooth!" "Like you said, sir:" ""Don't bet on the races."" "We're a couple of jolly good fellows A couple of jolly good fellows" "Yeah, what, Barney?" "Have you decided what you're gonna tell Wilma?" "I'm gonna tell her the truth... that her husband is gonna be a big business tycoon." "You better let me hold the money." " What for?" " Just in case she don't like the idea." "You got something there." "You know how wives are." "If she heard about this money, she'd make me do something dumb with it." "Yeah, like put it in the bank." "But I'm not trusting you with all this dough." "We're gonna stash it someplace safe." "How about stashing it under that rock over there?" " This is heavy." " All the better to keep the money under." " Look and see if anyone's around." " Okay, Fred." "Nobody in sight." "Let's go." "Get this rock off my hand... so I can tear you apart." "How did you get it caught?" "I didn't get it caught." "I put it under here to keep it warm." " Get it off, you imbecile!" " I'm getting it off." "As I thought, the holdup story was a fake." "Now, what did you do with the money?" " You want to know?" " Yes, I want to know." "We went out to the track, and we bet the whole thing on a long shot." "You what?" "You mean to tell me... that you took the money for our food and rent... that you..." "We won." " You won?" " Yup. $2,000, right on the nose." "Darling, we're rich!" "Now wait a minute, we got plans for it." " Plans?" " We are investing in a business." " What business?" " Boulder Dan's place." "Fred, that's wonderful!" "That place is a gold mine." "I met Dan's wife today." "She has a new fur coat." "He's retiring and they're moving South." "And where's the money?" "Now relax, honey." "I'll have the money in your hands in a couple of shakes." " Well, Wilma's got to admit it." " What's that, Fred?" "She's married to a pretty sharp businessman... with lots of brains, know-how, and savvy." "Betty feels the same way about me." "And throw in "good-Iooking."" "Okay, good-Iooking." "Grab a hold of the rock." "And this time, be careful." " All right, now." "Heave." " I'm heaving, Fred." "Easy, that's it." "Steady, Barney." "There it is." "I got it, Barney." "You mean you had it, buster." " What is this?" " It's a stickup, hey, that's what it is." "Hand it over, hey." " Over my dead body." " That's okay with me." "Hold him, Fred." "We got him surrounded." "Once again will do it." "Barney, where is Fred?" "I don't know how to break this to you." "A terrible thing just happened." "When we went to get the money, a guy jumped on us." "A big guy." "Fred fought like a tiger, but the guy was too tough." "And he took the money." "Now don't get hysterical, Wilma." "He'll be all right." "Let me help you, pal." "Take it easy, Wilma." "I'm gonna be all right." "Don't get hysterical." "Stop crying." "Just be glad I'm alive." " I don't believe a word of it." " But, Wilma..." "Not one single, solitary word." "Come on, Wilma, open this door!" "English" "There's the bell." "That's the old footwork, Barney." "Barney hasn't hit him yet." "Barney couldn't hit the floor with his hat." " How am I doing, pal?" " Great, pal." "Just great." " Fred?" "Oh, Fred?" " Yeah, Wilma." "Have you seen the newspaper?" "I'm reading it." " Can I have a piece of it, please?" " Okay." "Just a minute." "Here." "Now don't get it all mixed up." "I haven't read that section yet." " Thanks, Fred." " You're welcome." " Hey, Fred." " Barney." "Come on in, pal." "No." "You come out, Fred." "I want you to do me a favor." "All right." "I'll be right out." "Favors." "That's all that Barney wants." "What a neighbor." "Before you even ask, I'm telling you I'm broke." "That I know, Fred." "But can you keep a secret?" "Secret?" "What secret?" "You know how Betty keeps harping about... how I never bought her an engagement ring before we was married?" "Yeah, I should know." "Wilma gives me the same routine." "I've got a surprise for Betty." "Get a load of this." "Wow!" "What a sparkler!" "How did you get it, Barney?" "A down payment at the Buddy Buddy Credit Jewelers." "How else?" "Four hundred and twenty easy payments and it's mine." "That's great." "Just great." "When are you gonna spring the big surprise on Betty?" "I don't want to give it to her till Saturday." "So do me a favor, will you, pal?" "You keep it in your house till then... and that way Betty won't accidentally find it..." " and spoil my surprise." " Okay, Barney-boy." " What a shiny rock!" " But be careful with it, Fred." "Don't worry, Barney." "It'll be safe with old Fred." "Thanks a lot, pal." "That Fred." "He's one of the good ones." "Now let's see." "Where will I hide the ring so Wilma won't find it and blab to Betty?" "Wait a minute." "That's it." "I'll hide it in the flour." "With all these new frozen pies, Wilma never does any baking anymore." "That'll do it." "Fred." "Hiya, Wilma." "What in the world are you doing up on that chair?" "What do you think I'd be doing up on a chair?" " I saw a mouse." "That's what." " Okay." "You're in one of your mysterious moods today." "Have fun." "That's the old fast thinking." "Freddie-boy, the quick ad-lib artist." "Yes, sir." "What's that sound?" "I haven't heard that for years." "Oh, yeah, the egg beater." "Wilma must be making a cake." "A cake!" "The ring!" "Hold it!" "What do you think you're doing?" "I think I'm making a cake for my loudmouth husband... who is acting like he flipped his lid today." "I don't want a cake, Wilma." "It's too..." "Go ahead, Fred." "Say it." "I dare you." "Okay." "It's too fattening." "I've got to watch my weight, don't I?" "That ought to be easy." "There's so much to watch." "Droll." "Very droll." "You made a real funny." "Now what's he up to?" "Fred, why did you take the flour into the bedroom?" " Fred, come out of there." " You called, Wilma?" "What's the matter with you?" "Have you lost your mind?" "Go take a shower and let the cold water run on your head." "The ring wasn't in the flour canister, so it's got to be in the batter." "Fred!" "What are you peeking around corners for?" "I didn't want to startle you." "I was going to run over and borrow an egg from Betty... but I don't know if I should leave you alone." "What do you mean?" "I'm all right." "Go ahead." "Okay." "But I'll be right back." "She's gone." "Now's my chance to get that ring." "Fred, when are you going to grow up?" "Get your hand out of that batter and help me with this dodo egg." "Imagine." "Eating cake batter." "Why, you can't even wait until I bake the cake you don't want." "There." "Finally in the oven." "Now, Fred, you stay away from this oven." " Lf you open it, the cake will fall." " All right." "Fred's in an odd mood today." "I'd better leave him alone for a while." "I'd better not." "I'll get the ring out of the cake after it's baked." "I'll go ahead and read a book, get it off my mind." ""And the big bad saber-toothed tiger asked Little Red Riding Hood..." ""what she had in the basket." ""She opened the basket and said, 'I'm going to give Grandma this nice cake.'"" "Cake?" "That did it." "Now it's on my mind again." "I bet I could get that ring out without Wilma knowing it." "I did it." "Fred, I asked you not to open that oven door." "I said, "Fred, don't open that oven door." But, no." "Nosey has to open the oven door and see what's inside." "So that will be the last cake I ever baked for you." "You want me to take the garbage can out?" "No." "I'll do it myself." " I'll get the ring out of the can later." " That was lucky." " The garbage truck was just passing by." " The garbage truck!" "Oh, no!" "This is a stickup." "Raise your hands and don't turn around." "Okay, I've got what I want." "Put your hands down and just keep moving." "I just don't get it." "What kind of a screwball would hijack a garbage truck?" "It wasn't easy but I got it." "Now to make sure that won't happen again." "Let's see." "I'll try the closet this time." "That's it." "The bowling ball." "I'll hide the ring in the finger hole." "She'll never find it in this old bowling ball." "Now I'll tell Barney it's hidden in a safe place." "Barney!" "Why is it men refuse to close doors?" "Even the closet door is open." "There." "That old bowling ball." "I'll put that in a safe place." "I'll bury it in the yard." "No!" "It's a diamond ring." "No wonder Fred was acting so mysterious today." "Bless his little fat heart." "I don't want to spoil Fred's surprise." "But I've just got to show this to Betty before I put it back." "Wilma, it's simply gorgeous." "I wish I could get Barney to get me one." "But he's so..." " Conservative?" " No." " Frugal?" " No." "Cautious?" "No, but when you get to "stingy" slow down, you'll be getting warm." "I bet if you hinted to Barney, he'd get you one." "That's how I got this." "I hinted for 10 years." "But it paid off." "Well, maybe if I hint twice as hard, it'll only take me five years." "I know this sounds nutty... but I've got to get back and put my ring back in the bowling ball." "Bye, Wilma." "You lucky girl." "That's right, Barney." "When I make a promise, I keep it." "I've got that ring hidden where no one can find it." "You're a real pal, Freddie-boy." "And real lucky too." " Lucky nothing." "That's the way I played it." "I have to get home now, Barney." "Wilma was pretty sore when I left." " I'll see you later, pal." " So long, Fred." "Wilma, honey." "May I come in?" "Darling, you're home at last." "You lie down and rest... while I fix you a few dinosaur steak sandwiches." "My mother was wrong, Fred." "You are a swell guy." "I'll be right back with the food, Jack." "She's flipped." "I've gone too far." "Fred, look." "Strike." "Get it?" "It's all my fault." "I've been a bad husband." "Strike?" "Yeah, I get it." " Don't tell me you found the ring." " Yes, Fred." "And it's the sweetest thing you ever did." " But, Wilma, you don't understand." " Yes, I do, Fred." " No." " I know how you must have... scrimped and saved for 10 years to get me this ring." "And to think you love me that much just chokes me up." "When Barney finds out, I'm the one that's gonna get all choked up." " Look, Fred." "Isn't it lovely?" " Yeah." "Wear it in good health." "Hey, Barney!" " Is that you, Fred?" " Yeah." "Come on up here, I've got something to tell you." "Be right with you, good old frugal Fred." "What's on your mind, pal?" "Barney, would you do me a favor?" "You just name it, pal." "Just name it." "Will you forget about the ring for Betty?" "I just gave it to Wilma." "You're a card, Fred." ""Forget about the ring, I just gave it to Wilma."" "Hilarious." "I'm not kidding." "I mean it." "Before you lose your temper, let me explain." "And that's the whole story, Barney." " I don't know what to do." " Cheer up, Fred." "The solution is very simple." "We'll go to the Buddy Buddy Jewelers... and buy another ring for Betty, which you will pay for." "Right, pal." "And I'm only too glad to help you out." "I'll be right with you gentlemen as soon as I finish with that customer over there." "Sure, take your time." "598, 599, 600." "Congratulations." "With the 600th monthly payment the pop-up toaster is yours." "Thanks." " May I have my collateral back now?" " Certainly." "Bring Mr. Slate's collateral." "He just made his final payment." " There you are, Mr. Slate." " Hi, children." " Who's that man, sis?" " Why, I think it's Daddy." "Let's go home, children." "Mama will make some nice pop-up toast for you." "Now, what can I do for you gentlemen?" "We are interested in a diamond ring." " Who isn't?" " A diamond engagement ring." " For your girl?" " No, for my wife." "An engagement ring for your wife?" "At least it's a step in the right direction." "Next thing you know, you'll want a wedding ring." "Now you cut that out." "Fred and Wilma have been married for years." "And you keep out of this, shorty." "You've got enough to worry about with your big fat payment book." "Were you going to pay cash or credit?" " Credit." " Okay." "I'll have to check your credit rating." "What's your name?" "Fred F. Flintstone." "I have a Fred Flintstone, got anything on him?" "No kidding." "He tried what?" "No." "Blackball?" "Nothing over the price of a postage stamp?" "Got you." "Thanks." "Out!" "And don't come back unless you've got cash." " What'll we do, Fred?" " I don't know, Barney." "But it all boils down to its simplest form." "Yeah." "Somehow we've got to get some cash." "Barney, look at that sign." " So what, Fred?" " Don't you get it?" "It's our big chance to make $500." "No matter how much we need the money, I refuse to let you fight the Champ." "Not me." "You." "Okay, I refuse to let me fight the Champ." "You don't have to fight him, it says stay with him." "Speed will do it." "And you're fast on your feet." "Come on, Barney, say you'll fight him." "I promise you he won't lay a glove on you." "Okay." "Pick out a good ring, wise guy, we'll be back with the cash... after Barney fights the Champ tonight." "If I was as fast with my head as I am with my feet..." "I could think my way out of this." " Hello, girls." " Hello, Edna." " How's the baby?" " He's fine, Betty." "By the way, aren't you the lucky one?" "What do you mean?" "I mean the diamond ring Barney bought you." "You must be mistaken, Edna." "Fred bought a ring for Wilma." "My dear, I'm not mistaken." "I was in the store when Barney bought you a ring." "You mean Fred bought me a ring." "No." "You girls seem to be a little confused." "I suggest you check with the Buddy Buddy Credit Jewelers." "Here's the place, Betty." "We'll get to the bottom of this." "All I know is these two gentlemen came in to buy a ring." "They needed cash, so the little fellow is going to fight the Champ tonight... to pay for the ring." "Did you ever hear of anything so dumb?" "I think it's the nicest, sweetest thing I've ever heard." "Me, too." "You mean man, you." "Wilma, the Champ will kill my Barney." "Maybe if I paid him not to hurt Barney." "I have some money saved up." "I have some, too, and you're welcome to it." "I read somewhere that the Champ is all heart." "I'm sure he'll understand." "Now let me see if I've got this straight." "You dames want to give me $500... to let this Barney guy stay three minutes with the Champ." "Right?" "That's right." "Den..." "I mean then... you pay Barney the $500." "And you won't be out a cent, because it's our money you'll be giving him." "This may sound crass, girls, but what's in it for me and the Champ?" "You'll be doing a good deed." " And you'll feel better for it." " Okay, so I feel better." "But what are you dames doing it for?" "We dames are doing it for love." "Why didn't you say so?" "Give me the money." "I'll do anything for love." "Love of money, that is." "Thank you very much, sir." "You're a dear." "Farewell, girls." "Vivian Lamore." "That's French." " Hey, Champ." " Yeah, boss." "This Barney guy, tonight." "The first punch." "Get it?" "Got you, boss." "It's almost time for them to be leaving." "Remember now, play it straight." "What excuse do you think they'll use to get out?" "Fred always uses the sick-friend-in-the-hospital routine." "Wilma, I'll bet you a nickel... they use Barney's story about the brakes giving out on the car." " You set, pal?" " Yeah." "I guess we'd better get started." "Boy, were you lucky, Barney." "You could've got killed." "You said it, Fred, I've just got to get those brakes fixed." " Will you come with me, Fred?" " Why, sure." "And on the way back, we can stop off at the hospital... and see how poor old Bill is coming along." "Say, girls." "Go ahead, Barney, get those brakes fixed." "And say hello to poor old Bill, Fred." "It's a shame to fool the girls with that old line." "It beats me how they always fall for it, though." "How about that." "They used both stories." " They wanted to make sure they'd get out." " And we'd better get started too." "I want to see Barney win the $500." "Come on, Barney." "Be a good guy." " No." " You said you'd do it." " But..." " What's the matter?" "You turning chicken?" "You're not kidding." "And now, ladies and gents... the special attraction of the evening... introducing at 265 pounds... and wearing leopard trunks, the Champ." "And in this corner..." "Hey, where's the challenger?" "Here he is." "We're ready." "Doesn't Barney look terrific, Wilma?" "He looks sort of green to me, Betty." " It must be the spotlights." " I guess so, only they're white." " How are you feeling, Barney?" " I'm kind of worried." "There's nothing to worry about, I'm right behind you." "That's my biggest worry." "I'd dread this if I didn't know the fight was fixed so Barney'd win." "There's the bell." "That's the old footwork, Barney." "Barney hasn't hit him yet." " Barney couldn't hit the floor with his hat." " How am I doing, pal?" " Great, pal." "Just great." "I'll give him the good old double-knuckle punch." "We've been double-crossed." "Snap out of it, Barney." "Come on, say something to me, pal." "It's all right." "It's all right." "Just a minute, you big bully." "You and your manager stole our money." "It's the churchy lafem." "I'll teach you to pick on defenseless women." "What a wallop." "Just a minute, buster." "There's a little matter of my $500." "Betty, look." "I just won $500 for knocking out the Champ." "And I've got my $500 from his manager." "Gosh, Betty, we can't let the boys know about this." "Oh, no." "That would spoil everything." "I have an idea." "If the manager will help us out." "Sure, lady." "Anything you say." "Anything." "I'm sorry, Fred." "I guess I let you down." "No, you didn't, Barney." "I'm proud of you." "You did all right." "I've been looking for you guys." "You won the $500." " We won?" " Yeah." "When we checked the time, we found out you stayed the full three minutes... so the money is yours." "Barney-boy, did you hear that?" "We won." "Buddy Buddy Credit Jewelers, here we come." "Here they are." "Remember, act surprised." "We better put our overshoes on." "We're in for a big snow job." "Girls." "Hail the conquering hero." " Conquering hero?" " What happened?" "Your husband just stayed three minutes with the Champ... and won $500." "I was just lucky." "My footwork must have dazzled him." "Lucky for Betty, you mean." "Because Barney has just bought you a present." "A present?" "For little old me?" " Show her, sport." " Sweetie, this is for you." " A diamond engagement ring." " Just like mine." "Barney, what a wonderful surprise." "Fred, you guys are pretty swell." "You girls deserve it." "You know the old saying, Wilma." ""A husband is a girl's best friend."" "Come on, Wilma, open the door!" "English" "Looks like everybody in Hollyrock has come to see the telecast." "Lucky for us we're friends of the stars." "Look, Betty." "There's Fred and the producer." "You can run along now, J.B., I'll take over from here." "After all, I'm the star." "Be sure and have that spotlight on me all the time." "Here's some music I wrote last night." "Use it to bridge into the second act." "If you forget a line don't worry, I will cover for you." "I gotta stop him." "If the show goes over I'll be saddled with him for the whole season." "And I can't take that." "Come to the window, Wilma." "Hi, Betty." "What's up?" "They're going to announce the winners on that slogan contest we entered." " Hurry over." " Warm up the set, I'll be right there." "Gee, Wilma." " Do you think we stand a chance?" " I don't know why not." "We figured out some pretty good slogans together." "I think the first one..." ""Mother McGuire's meatballs don't bounce" is a natural." "And I like the other one, too." ""If you eat a Mother McGuire meatball, you'll never eat another."" "If either one of them win, we split the prize between us, right?" "Right." "Keep your fingers crossed, Wilma." "And turn the set on." "Here's hoping, partner." "Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen." "Mother McGuire's meatballs are on the air." "We are the meatballs from Mother McGuire" "Of our flavor you'll never tire" "When you buy us you show good sense" "We're made of the finest ingredients" " Love those animated commercials." " They're so cute." "And now, friends, the announcement you've all been waiting for." "The winner of the Mother McGuire meatball slogan contest is..." "Mrs. Betty Rubble and Mrs. Fred Flintstone of Bedrock." "We won!" ""Mother McGuire's meatballs don't bounce. "" "And, ladies and gentlemen... they don't." "For submitting the winning slogan..." "Mrs. Rubble and Mrs. Flintstone win a trip for two... to that glamorous city of movie and TVstars.;" "Hollyrock." "Wilma, can you imagine?" "Hollyrock." " We'll need new clothes." " And sunglasses." " We'll see all the movie stars." " We'll really live it up." " We'll have the grandest time." " And how." " What's the matter, Wilma?" " Our husbands." " What about them?" " They'd never let us go without them." "That's right." "What's the matter with us?" "We're living in a dream world." "Betty, there's only one thing to do." "We'll toss a coin... and either you and Barney go, or Fred and I go." "That sounds fair." " It would have been fun together, Wilma." " It sure would have, Betty." "I'm sure glad I'm only a bird." "Just getting a cracker is a big deal for me." " See you in the morning, Barney-boy." " Right, Fred." "It's your turn to drive tomorrow." "So long." "Wilma, Poopy's home." "Let's eat." "Let's feed the face." "Fred, wait till I tell you what happened today." "Later, Wilma." "Start the nourishment coming." "I am starved." "Fred, do you remember that slogan contest I entered last month?" "Yeah." "Yeah, I remember telling you not to waste your time." "You were wrong." "I won a trip for two to Hollyrock." " Hollyrock?" " That's right." "Boy, am I lucky." "We'll hobnob with the stars." "We'll eat at the Brown Pandora." "We'll stroll along Hollyrock Boulevard." "Come on, Wilma." "Let's get packed." "I'll eat at the airport." "Fred." "Just a minute." " Leave a note for the milkman, Wilma." " Fred, listen to me." "Come on, Wilma, stop yakking and start packing." "Fred, will you listen?" "It's not all set." "It depends." "Depends?" "Depends on what?" "Who?" "Where?" " It depends on Betty and Barney." " Betty and Barney?" "They're not coming with us." "That's out." "Fred, sit down a minute and let me explain." "It started like this..." "And that's what happened." "So Betty and I decided the only fair thing to do was toss for it." "So Wilma and I decided the only fair thing to do is toss for it." "We'll have to watch Fred." " He used to have a two-headed coin." " Barney, I'm ashamed of you." " Fred wouldn't cheat his best friends." " Yeah, all right." "I'm sorry, Betty." "That wasn't very nice of me, was it?" "Well, here goes." "One toss to see who goes to Hollyrock." " Ready?" " Ready." "I'll take heads." "You can't have heads." "I always take heads." "Well, you're tossing, so I get to call it." "Okay, wise guy." "You toss and I will call heads." "Fred, let me see that coin." "Oh, Wilma." "Let me see it, Fred." "Just as I thought." "You're using that two-headed coin." " What are you trying to do, Fred, cheat?" " Who me?" "Of course not." "It was just a gag." "Just for a gag we'll let Barney toss with a regular coin." "Okay, here goes." "You call it, Fred." "Heads." "It's tails." "We win, Betty." "Hooray." "We go to Hollyrock." "How about that?" "Ain't that something, Fred?" "Yeah, Barney." "That's swell." "Congratulations, Betty." "You and Barney will have a wonderful time." "Yeah." "I guess so." " Barney?" " Hey, Fred." "How about making it two out of three?" "Barney, you're a pal." "Okay." "I'll take heads again." "Heads it is." "Now we're even." " Toss again, Barney." " Okay." "Here goes." "Heads again." "I win." "You hear that, Wilma." "I won." "Hollyrock, here we come." "Get the bags, start packing." "Look." " Good night, Wilma." "Have a nice trip." " Good night, Fred." "Wait a minute, you guys." "How about making it three out of four, Barney?" "It's tails, I think." "Keep tossing, Barney." "We'll make it best 75 out of 100." "Come on, you two." "We're not getting anywhere tossing that coin." "Yeah, you're right, Wilma." "And I got a solution." " Yes, Fred?" " Go on, what is it?" " Barney and I will go." " No, you won't." "We wouldn't trust you out there for one minute." "Yeah." "Surrounded by all those starlets." "Can you imagine that, Barney?" "They wouldn't trust us surrounded by all those starlets." "Neither would I." "If anybody goes it should be Betty and me." "After all, we won the contest." "You're right, Wilma." "You two girls go to Hollyrock." " Do you mean it?" " Sure I mean it." "It's okay with you, isn't it, Barney?" "Yeah, I guess so." " Gee, thanks, Barney." " Don't mention it." " We'll get packed right away." " Bring all your summer clothes." "Our cameras, don't forget our cameras." "And we'll have to get an autograph book." "Do you get it?" "They'll be gone a whole week." "We can stay out as late as we want." "Bowl every night." "Why, it's a chance of a lifetime." " How about that, Barney-boy?" " Hooray." "Well, they're on the plane, Barney." "Boy, what a speedy looking job." "Speedy is right." "That's one of those Boeing jet jobs." "Ready for take off." " Roger, fire engine one." " Fire one." "They're ready to take off." " Goodbye, Wilma." " Goodbye, Betty." " Goodbye, Fred." " Goodbye, Barney." "Don't forget to feed the cat." "Here she comes, Barney." "Look at them go, Barney." " Do you think they're safe, Fred?" " Of course." "These modern planes fly with only two birds if necessary." "That's sure nice to know." "Barney, we're as free as a bird." "I feel like a bird in a guilty cage." "Come on." "We'll bowl a game or two." "It'll cheer you up." "Strike!" "How's about that, Barney?" "How about you guys calling it quits?" "It's after 1:00." "I'd like to close the place." "I suppose you're one of those poor guys that's gotta get home at a certain time?" "That sounds good to me, Fred." "Why, the night is young, Barney." "What are we gonna do now?" "How about going home, Fred?" "Home?" "We can go home anytime." "We are night people now." "We don't go home until it starts getting light." "Barney, I just remembered I know a place where there's all-night roller skating." " Come on, Barney, let's go." " What?" "This is what I call living." "Barney, where are you going?" "Wait for me." "Barney, come back." "Barney, are you all right?" "Speak to me." "Say something." "That looks pretty good, Barney." "Move over." " Hey, Barney!" " What is it, Fred?" "What do you say we shoot some pool and take in an all-night movie?" "You go, Fred." "I got something to do." "I'll come over and help you, and then we will go." "Honest, Fred, I can't go." "I'm writing a letter to Betty." "Gee, I sure miss her." " Do you miss Wilma?" " Miss her?" "Are you kidding?" "She's only been gone two days." "Miss her?" "Of course I miss her." "Fred, do you mind turning around?" "This part is personal." "Sure, Barney." "Okay, Fred." "Thanks." " Barney?" " Yeah?" "I got an idea." " Count me out, Fred." " No, wait." "Supposing, now, just supposing... we took a week of our vacations now and flew out to Hollyrock." "We could meet the girls and all come back together." "Right." " Fred, I want to apologize." " What for, Barney?" "For what I've been thinking of you the last few days." "Third class, unscheduled, steerage flight... now boarding at gate 13 for Hollyrock." "All aboard, you cheapskates." "That's us, Barney." "Let's go." "Hollyrock, here we come." "Gee, Betty." "This is where they make all those big television shows." "I know." "And aren't we lucky our prize included a trip through the studio?" "And how." "Let's go in." "Problems." "Why do I always have these problems?" "Why can't I get the right girl for the wife's part?" "All I get is method actresses' mumbo jumbo... starlets, simpering all over the place." "This part calls for a real woman." "A real wife." "One who's been through the wringer... with a loud-mouthed, overbearing husband." " Yes, sir." " I can see her in my mind, you see." "She cries herself to sleep at night but she laughs... and plays the game during the day, she..." "Let's go to the commissary, Betty, and have a cool drink." "That's her." "She's perfect." "That's the answer." "Get that woman." "With her as the star, I can get The Frogmouth... our big spectacular, into immediate production." "Here we are, sir." "There she is." "Hold it, don't move." "I was right." "That's her." "Yes, I believe you." " I didn't say anything yet." " I like that." "A sense of humor, too." "And that's what you need as the wife of the Frogmouth." "Frogmouth?" "Watch it, bub." "Fred may be a little loud, but he's no frogmouth." "That's the spirit." "Defends her man in spite of everything." "What blind devotion to a no-good." "He beats you, he gambles the milk money." "You can't talk that way about Fred, you brute." "Use all that... the fire, the intensity, she's perfect." "Only his name isn't Fred, you know, it's Bill." "Just my Bill kind of thing." "No matter what he does No matter where he goes" "It never rains on pretty flowers" "No, that's Jim, isn't it?" "But if Fred articulates better, we'll change the name to Fred, you see." "Anything to get you to play the part." "What's he talking about, Wilma?" "The part?" "What part?" "The wife part in our big TV spectacular, The Frogmouth." "Where did she go?" "Come on, Wilma, wake up." "Somebody get a glass of water." "I can't believe it, Betty." "I'm in a television play." "Yeah, and a star part, too." " Isn't it thrilling?" " It's like a dream." "Wait till Fred hears about this." "Gee, Wilma, we're having all the fun... while our poor husbands are back home slaving away." "Yeah." "I wonder what Fred and Barney are doing now." "There she is, Barney." "Hollyrock." "Spread out at our feet." "Shouldn't we keep looking for Betty and Wilma, Fred?" "Since they could be any place, they could be up here." " But they're not up here, Fred." " Okay." "We'll go back to Hollyrock Boulevard and keep looking for them." "Gee, Fred, we looked everywhere, but no Wilma and no Betty." "What'll we do now?" "I don't know, Barney, but I gotta sit down somewhere." "My feet are killing me." "How about that place, Fred?" "We can sit in there." "Get that title:" "The Frogmouth." "Must be about one of those loud-mouthed guys." " You know the type, Barney." " Intimately, Fred." "Anyway, we can watch them rehearse and rest at the same time." " Feels good to sit down, Barney?" " Yeah." "I think I'll take a nap until the show starts." "That's a good idea." "A little snooze would do me a lot of good, too." "I know you've been rehearsing at home, and you know your part... but project, you know, really give out." "You're the Frogmouth." "You're loud, you're noisy, you're obnoxious..." " lots of decibels, you got it?" " I think so." "No, nobody would do this to me." "It's a gag, that's it." "It relieves the tension." "I was all tight." "Now I'm all loosened up." "Okay, Wilma, honey." "Throw the Frogmouth his first cue." "This is a rehearsal, everybody." "Quiet on the stage." "Go ahead, Wilma." "Bill, the baby's college fund money is missing." "Did you take it, Bill?" "Yes, I did." "So what?" "You wanna make something out of it?" "No!" "Louder, you're the Frogmouth." "Be positive." "Yes, I did." "So what?" "You wanna make something out of it?" "Why me?" "I'm a good guy." "It's too late to audition people." "I could've gone to college, I could've learned a trade... but, no, I had to be a television producer... and I wind up with a polliwog for a frogmouth." "I'm ruined." "Hey, you guys, wake up." "Up." "This is a theater, not a flophouse." "Fred, look up on the stage." "What are you doing here?" "What am I doing here?" "What are you doing up there?" "I've been looking all over Hollyrock for you and what happens?" "I find you up on a dark stage... instead of outside, soaking up the sunshine." "That voice." "He's the perfect Frogmouth." "Get that frog, I mean that man." "Get him up here right away." "So, you're Wilma's husband." "I knew it." "One look at her, and I knew it." "Tell me, Fred, did you ever do any acting?" "One year, I was in the spring play at Public School 158." "And you were a Hamlet, Romeo, King Arthur?" "No, none of those things." "Some of the kids were trees... some were flowers, some were butterflies." " And what were you?" " I was a slug." "It figures." "And, now, Fred, you're going to have a chance... to tromp the boards again, as the Frogmouth." "Fred and Wilma look good up there, don't they, Barney?" "Here's the tryout." "Bill, the baby's college fund money is missing." "Did you take it?" "Yes, I did." "So what?" "If he wants to go to college he can wait on tables." "Stupendous!" "Simply colossal." "Let me offer my congratulations." "You see, I love an actor who ad-libs lines to the script... makes the show run long, you see." "We have to cut the ending, but I don't mind." "We never know how to end them anyway, you see." "You're in, Fred." "You'll be a smash." "Fred, how wonderful." "Congratulations." "I must live right... no matter what my psychiatrist says." "I'm telling you, Barney, there's nothing to this acting racket." "It comes natural to me." "Of course, this Frogmouth bit is all right for a starter... but it's not the real me." "I'm gonna move into big stuff, like Dr. Jekyll Hides." "The Halfback of Notre Dame." "Around the World in a Daze." "There's a lot of good things a man of my talents can tackle." "Mr. Flintstone, can I have your autograph please?" "Certainly, son." " Here you are, boy." " Thanks, Fred." "You just signed the check for dinner." "Very funny." "The theater is packed." "Looks like everybody in Hollyrock has come to see the telecast." "Lucky for us we're friends of the stars." "We can watch it from backstage." "Look, Betty." "There's Fred and the producer." "He must be giving Fred some last-minute instructions." "You can run along now, J.B., I'll take over from here." "After all, I'm the star." "Hey, you up there!" "Be sure and have that spotlight on me all the time." "And, Professor... here's some music I wrote last night." "Use it to bridge into the second act." "Now, listen all you supporting players." "If you forget a line don't worry, I will cover for you." "I gotta stop him." "If the show goes over I'll be saddled with him for the whole season." "And I can't take that." "Not for 26 weeks." "I gotta stop him." "I gotta sabotage this thing." "But how?" "Okay." "Places everybody." "Two minutes to go." "Turn the houselights down." "I got it." "It just might work." "How do you feel, Fred?" "Are you nervous?" " Kind of sick to your stomach?" " Nervous?" "Are you kidding?" "You are talking to Mr. Showbiz, buster." "That's fine." "Because everybody will be watching every move you make." "Every line you speak, every lift of your eyebrow, they'll be rooting for you." "All 60 million of them." "60 million?" "Okay, Wilma." "We're on the air." "Action!" "Bill, the baby's college fund money is missing." "Did you take it?" "Cut to camera three and bring Charlie in." "Okay, Charlie, you got an hour to fill in." "Keep those balls bouncing." "Remember, the show must go on." "Oh, boy." "My big chance." "Fred, what happened?" "Say something." "Why, he's lost his voice." " Hello, Wilma." "How's Fred feeling?" " Has he said anything yet?" "No." "And we've been home for a week now." "I'm going to try that idea we thought up, Betty." "It's kind of drastic, but it might work." "How do you like my new fur coat?" "It's genuine Siberian mastodon... and only cost $5,000." "I knew you wouldn't mind, so I charged it." "Wilma!" "Are you out of your mind?" "You think I'm made of money or something?" "Send it back before I sue the store for selling it to you." "Let's go home now, Barney." "Fred's got his voice back again." "And how." "The big frogmouth bellows again." "What a guy." "Yeah." "By the way, Barney... when Wilma bought that fur coat... the salesgirl showed me a darling little saber-toothed tiger stole." "I just couldn't resist it, Barney." "Betty Rubble!" "Are you out of your mind?" "Do you think I'm made of money or something?" "Send it back before I sue the store for selling it to you." "What a loudmouth that guy is." "Oh, boy." "Come on, Wilma." "Open the door!" "English" " I'll murderlize you." " It's my bucket." "Stop running, you insect." "Hiya, Fred." "Meet my new watchdog, Buzzsaw." "Your new watchdog?" "Yeah, he's wonderful." "He instinctively knows when somebody don't like me." "Then he chases them." "Good dog." "Hello?" "Yes." "Okay, I'll tell him." " Who was it?" " Barney." " What does he want?" " He says you borrowed his watchdog." "He wants it back." "And here they come, ladies and gentlemen... approaching the 18th tee." "The finalists.;" "Ben Bowlder and Fred Flintstone." "It's been a nip and tuck battle all the way." "Fred Flintstone is still leading by two strokes." "The winner will get the trophy and be the champion... of the annual tournament given by the Loyal Order of Dinosaurs." "All right." "It's Ben's honor, and he's ready to tee off." "A beautiful shot!" "Right down the middle of the fairway." "Now here is a diagram of this 460-yard par-4 hole... and here is the distance traveled by Ben Bowlder's great tee shot... putting him in perfect position for his second shot." " Wilma." " Hi, Betty." " Are you listening to the tournament?" " I wouldn't dare not listen." " Isn't it exciting?" " I hope Fred wins." "But I can take it or leave it." "If Fred wins I'll never hear the end of it." "Yeah." "And if Fred loses you'll never hear the end of it." "And here's Fred Flintstone." "Very cool." "He's got a tough shot to beat." "He hit that one real fat." "Here's Fred Flintstone set to tee off again." "And Fred's a little nervous." "Just a little." "He knows he has his work cut out for him." "Flintstone's hit a screaming line drive." "It looks like Flintstone's in trouble." "Back to the diagram for a look at the path of this ridiculous..." "Impossible shot." "This is a big decision for Fred Flintstone." "The question is.;" "Should he take a penalty stroke, or should he..." "How about that?" "Flintstone is going to play it where it lies." "We have just seen the greatest shot ever made." "The ball's heading straight for the green and passed right over it." "Too bad." "More hard luck for Fred Flintstone." "A lot depends on Ben Bowlder's next shot." "And it's a beauty." "Fred Flintstone needs a miracle to pull this game out of the fire." "And he's going to give it that old college try." "One thing about Flintstone, he's a fighter who doesn't know the meaning of... the word "quit."" "This is a tense moment, folks." "Fore!" "It's in." " He won!" " Hurray for Fred!" "Ladies and gentlemen." "Listen." "Nothing like this has ever happened before." "A sensational finish." "Fred Flintstone, the new champion, is walking towards... the chairman of the tournament committee to receive the cup." "They've never had a more deserving champion." "Wait a minute." "Something's up." "Barney Rubble, President of the lodge... apparently wants to take the cup away from Fred Flintstone." " Don't tell me they're at it again?" " They've never quit." "This is unbelievable." "They're struggling over the cup." "Let's ask one of the other members what this is about." "You, sir." " Who me?" " Could you tell us what this is all about?" "It all goes back to a meeting, a month ago... when the lodge was holding its annual election of officers." "We will now proceed with the election of a president." "You will all vote for either Fred Flintstone or Barney Rubble." " Mr. Chairman." " What is it, Brother Flintstone?" "As you know..." "I've been lodge president three times, and although I'm greatly honored..." "I would like to withdraw... and move that Barney Rubble... be elected unanimously." "Me?" "Second the motion." "Speech!" "Come on, pal, speak." "Gee, this is the greatest day of my life." "What an honor." "And the man I have to thank for it is Fred Flintstone... my bosom buddy, close friend, and lifelong pal." "Oh, Barney." "Cut it out." "I promise to be a good president... and put the lodge back on its feet financially." "There's only one way to do it." "By collecting back dues." "And believe me, that's what I'm going to do." "That's the way to do it, Prez." "Three cheers for Barney Rubble!" "That's what led up to the fuss taking place between Fred and Barney now." "You mean it has something to do with back dues?" "You get the picture." " No, you don't." " Yes, I do." "What's the big idea trying to take my cup?" " I won the tournament." " And that makes no difference." "It says in the bylaw, section 42:" ""No member shall be entitled to receive a trophy..." ""unless his dues are paid up to date."" "I'm only a month overdue." "That makes no difference." "A month is a month." "And a thankless friend is a thankless friend." "Any lodge you're a member of..." "I don't want any part of." "And that goes for the cup, too." "Rules are rules." "No dues, no trophy." "My pointy head." "What about Fred?" "Is he still on the rampage?" "Worse then ever." "Barney's name can't be mentioned in our house." " Not only that..." " Wilma." "I would like to speak to you." "I see what you mean." "But it can't last forever." " Now listen, Fred." " You listen to me." "Barney Rubble is my enemy." "Betty is married to him." " That makes her my enemy." "And..." " Oh, Fred." "...I don't want you talking to the enemy." "Hi, Wilma." "What's new on the Western Front?" "The General has had a setback." "He wants to move, but he can't find a house he can afford." "Barney's starting to get a little steamed up, too." "He might just as well blow a gasket." "I have to deliver an ultimatum." "Ultimatum who?" "Fred wants everything back that, quote..." ""That no-good scrounger has borrowed over the years," unquote." " Come on in and help yourself." " Do I need a flag of truce?" " That you, Wilma?" " Yes, Fred." " Where's all the stuff?" " Here's all the stuff." "You mean that can opener..." " is all the stuff he borrowed?" " Yes." " Did you look in the attic?" " Yes." " In the garage?" " Yes." " In the cellar?" " Yes." "The sneak." "He must have buried everything else." "That's the answer." "I like the food over at the Rubbles' better." " Fred." " Yeah?" "Barney wants all his stuff back." "He does, does he?" "You can tell him from me..." "Any sign yet?" "Is Fred bringing back my stuff?" "I don't see anything." "Not a creature is stirring." "Not even a fat mouse like Fred Flintstone?" "Hold it, here comes a message." " What does it say?" " Don't rush me." "It says:" ""Dear Betty, Fred says..." ""that if Barney sets foot on Fred's property..." ""he'll cool him."" "It doesn't make sense." "No, wait a minute." "Not he'll cool him. "He'll kill him."" "Sure." "That makes sense." " He's not scaring me." " Now, Barney." "What's mine is mine, and I intend to get it." "Will you relax, Betty?" "He won't lay a hand on me." "I'm too fast, and he's too fat." "Barney, be careful." "Don't worry, but check and see... if I paid my last insurance premium." "Just in case, you know." "There's my bucket." "And just where are you going with my property?" "Your property?" "This is my bucket." "You're overlooking one little detail." "The water in that bucket happens to belong to me." "I'm sorry, Fred." "Here you are." " I'll murderlize you." " It's my bucket." "Stop running, you insect." "Hiya, Fred." "Meet my new watchdog, Buzzsaw." "Your new watchdog?" "Yeah, he's wonderful." "He instinctively knows when somebody don't like me." "Then he chases them." "Good dog." "Good dog." "Let's see." ""V-E-T."" " "Veterinarian."" " Will you hurry up, Wilma?" "Here it is." "Hello?" "Yes." "Okay, I'll tell him." " Who was it?" " Barney." " What does he want?" " He says you borrowed his watchdog." "He wants it back." " Fred?" " Yeah?" "Why don't you pay your back dues?" "Then you could get your cup, we could sign a peace treaty with the Rubbles... and live more neighborly ever after." "Peace treaty?" "Just when I'm planning a counterattack?" "Okay, it was just an idea." "I see some more of my property." "Let's see." "Maybe I can turn the hose on him tonight while he's sleeping." "So sorry, my ball." "Deuced nuisance, but my club, you know." "Tee, too." "I'll beat a tee, too, on your head, if I ever get you." "Good dog." "Will you try being friendly just for me?" "Go over and give Fred the cup." "Then ask him in a nice way to give you the dues he owes." "I'll try it, but you know Fred, it won't work." "I just know it'll work." "Fred's really sentimental." "When he sees the cup, he'll soften up." "And when Barney goes into that..." ""Close friend, bosom buddy, lifelong pal"..." "Fred will break down and cry." "In fact, Barney will break down and cry, too, if I know him." "They're a couple of sentimental guys." "They really love each other." "That you, Barney?" "I told you it wouldn't work." "The nerve of that little molecule." "Knocks on my door and says:" ""Give me the dues, you cheapskate, or you don't get the cup."" "He got the cup all right." "Yeah?" " What do you want?" " My hammock." "What else?" "That's as far as you go, buster." "I am going to tell you once and only once." " Let go of that hammock." " Okay." "Fred!" "What are you doing in the refrigerator?" "Never mind." "Pass me the salt." "Hi, Betty." "No, no break in the cold war yet." "In fact, it's getting a little chillier." "I don't believe it." "He called the Missing Link Fence Company and ordered a solid fence... 40 feet long and 80 feet high?" "What did they say?" "They told him what it would cost, and he said, "Forget it."" "Then he went out to get an estimate on a moat." "Here he comes." "Bye." " You home, Wilma?" " Right here, Fred." " What's all that stuff?" " I'm throwing a little party." "I'm glad to hear we're having some fun around here for a change." "Who's coming?" " Just a few of the boys." " Boys?" "Like who?" "Like Joe Rockhead." "Joe Rockhead!" "That loudmouth?" "You hate him." "I know, but he's just right for the party." " Who else?" " Malcolm Quartz." "That big showoff?" "The last time he was here, he broke a lamp." "He's just right for the party." " And who else?" " Eddie, Sam, Pete." "And you know the one who likes to dance with you all the time?" "I know him well." "Left-foot Charlie." "What's the matter?" "Did they close the pool hall?" "Droll, very droll." "But I'll ignore it." "For your information... this party's going to be like Mardi Gras and New Year's Eve." " I don't get it." " Simple." "You know how Rubble loves parties." "When he hears the racket and smells that steak barbecuing... he'll go out of his mind." "That'll make two of us." " He'll be sorry he ever started up with me." "Come on, let's get the party on the road." "Start making sandwiches." "All right, fellows, all together." "What the matter with Flintstone?" "He's all right" "A little louder." "I want Rubble to hear it." "Hey, Fred." "You sure know how to throw a party." "Thanks, Charlie." "Having a good time, Wilma?" "Yippee." "I'll change the record for you." "Come on, let's keep this party going." "Attaboy, Fred." "Hold it, Mac." "Thanks." "Don't mention it." "How's that, Charlie?" "Great, Fred." "I love waltzes." "Yeah." "So does Wilma." "Yuck." "What do you say, Eddie, is that charcoal ready?" "Red-hot and ready, Freddie." "Okay, you guys, drop that dinosaur steak on the grill." "One top sirloin for ten, coming up." "Boy, wait till Barney gets a whiff of that beauty barbecuing." "Blow some smoke over in Barney's direction." "Right, Fred." "It's costing me plenty to make that little shrimp's mouth water." "But it's worth it." "Come on, let's change the music and start things up." "Look at that Charlie." "What a dancer." "Charlie can dance to anything." "But don't forget, it takes two to tango... and Wilma's the greatest." " Excuse me." " Sure." "Hello?" "You'll have to talk a little louder." "Oh, hello." "Sure." "I'll take care of it." "Bye." " Who was it, Wilma?" " It was Betty." "Oh, yeah?" "I suppose Barney's begging to come to the party." "He can beg all he wants to." "He can beg on his hands and knees." "I'm not inviting him." "Betty just wanted me to leave a note for the milkman..." " not to bring anything till Monday." " He can beg standing on his head..." "Monday?" "What do you mean Monday?" "The Rubbles are away for the weekend." " You mean that sneak's not home?" " Nope." " He's not smelling that steak?" " Nope." " He's not hearing this party?" " Nope." "What's the matter with Flintstone?" "He's all right" "Hold it." "Hold it, please, will you, fellows?" "Thank you." "I interrupt this party for a special announcement." "Good old Fred." "What a host." " What's the announcement, Fred?" " Get out!" "Out, you freeloaders." "Out!" "All of you." "O-W-T, out!" "I think it's a great idea." "The only thing that worries me is if they find out that we did it." "I can't take another week of this." "I'll try anything." "Okay, let's put Operation Buddy-Buddy into work." "It better work or we're dead." "Betty." " I'm in here, Barney." " Fred finally gave up." "What do you mean?" "He paid up his back dues, and he's a member of good standing again." "Well, isn't that nice?" "But you know something, Barney?" "When you see Fred, I wouldn't mention anything about it." "Sure, I get it." "You know me." " Tactful, diplomatic." " And president of the lodge." "Yeah." " Wilma." " Yes, Fred?" "Ta-da!" "Fred!" "You got the cup." "How did it happen?" "They just handed me the cup and didn't say a word about the dues." " But I know it's Barney's doing." " Barney?" "Sure, the poor little guy." "He knows he can't get along without me." "President of the lodge, without me to advise him." "He had to get me back." "I'll bet he talked them into giving me an honorary membership." "Don't mention anything about it when you see him." "You know what I mean?" "Sure, I know what you mean." "You know me." " Tactful, diplomatic." " And you got the cup." "Yeah." "Ain't it a beauty?" "You know, I think I'll show Barney how a big man behaves." " I'll go over and see him." " I'll go with you." " But remember..." " Don't worry." "Not a word." "Brother Barney, how are things at the lodge?" "Could be better, Brother Fred." "Yes, I know, but I'll give you a hand." "Say, I'm glad to see the cup on your mantel where it belongs." "Right, with the champ." "Where else, Brother Rubble?" "Naturally, if I had played, I'd have beat your brains out, Brother Flintstone." " You?" "Beat me at golf?" " With one hand tied behind my back." "You put your golf clubs where your mouth is." "Anytime." "And after I beat you at golf, I'll give you a bowling lesson." " Oh, yeah?" " Yeah." "And then I'll beat you at pool." " Is that so?" " Yeah, that's so." "Listen to them fighting." "Yeah." "Thank goodness they're friends again." "Wilma!" "Come on, Wilma, open this door!" "English" "Here's the ticket, safe and sound." "I don't blame Fred for getting nervous after what happened." "Barney!" "What in the world are you doing up on that stool?" "Stool?" "Yeah." "I saw a mouse." " Hiya, Joe." " Hiya, Barney." " Hello, Mrs. Roxy, how's Junior?" " Just fine, Mr. Rubble." "Cute little pup you got there." ""My mother told me to take this one"" "Looks like a winner, Flintstone." " Fred, what are you doing?" " Hiya, Barney." " You're just in time." " In time for what, Fred?" "In time to buy a sweepstake ticket from Charlie." "You're lucky." "I only got one left." "I'll take it." "Will you lend me the price of a ticket?" "I'm kind of short this week." "Me, too." "I only had enough for my own ticket." "Charlie, could you wait till next week for the money?" "Sorry, men." "No money, no ticket." "I can't sell on credit." "Tough luck, Barney." "You might have won a fortune." "Yeah." "You know, I'm pretty lucky that way." "Remember when I won that set of dishes at the club raffle?" "Yeah." "I remember you dropped them all as soon as you left the club." "Wasn't that lucky?" "I could have dropped them after I got home." "Very funny." "Anyway, I hope you win, Fred." "You deserve it." "Couldn't happen to a nicer guy." "I always said, "Fred is the salt of the earth." ""Generous, kind, unselfish..." ""ready to give you the shirt off his back." Yep." "It couldn't happen to a nicer unselfish friend." "Can you beat that?" "What a sweet little guy." "That Barney is a real pal." "You bet your life he's a real pal." "You know what you are?" "You're a schnook." " A schnook?" " Yes, a schnook." "All right." "So you didn't have the money... but you could have offered to split your ticket with him." "Yeah, that's what I'll do, I'll split it with him." "What's the matter?" "You nuts?" "You wanna give away half your winnings?" "Don't be a sucker." "Winnings." "What are winnings without friends?" "Money can't buy happiness." "A rich man is a sad man." "Take my wealth." "Just let me share a crust of bread with a true friend... and that's all I ask." "How sickening can you get?" "Yeah, I'll show Barney that I can be a sweet guy, too." " Barney." " Hello, Fred." "You gonna let me buy half the ticket?" "You gonna let me?" "How about it?" "Now, how did you know that?" "I figured you would, you know, being such a swell guy." " Let me see our ticket, Fred." " Okay." "You're in for half, Barney." " This ticket's got my lucky number." " Yeah, what is it?" ""2, 7, 3, 4, 9, 0, 8, 1, 1, 7..." ""5, 3, 3, 2, 9, 0, 9..." ""8, 1, 0, 0." "Series H."" " That is your lucky number?" " Yeah." "Ain't it a coincidence?" "Mercy me, I can't see how we could lose." "Lucky number." "Let me have that ticket." "No, Fred, I better hold it." "It's my lucky number." "You might jinx it." "I'll jinx you good if you don't let me have that ticket." " Now give me it." " But, Fred, Wilma will find it." "You know what happened last year." "Yeah, she started charging things all over town." "Right, and you were six months trying to pay it off, remember?" "Besides, I have the perfect hiding place for it." "Yeah, where?" "I can't tell you, Fred." "You talk in your sleep... and Wilma would find out and she'd tell Betty... and they'd both run down to the store yelling, "Charge it."" "Okay, Barney, maybe you're right." " You hide it." " Right, Fred." "See you later, and good luck, partner." "You know, sometimes I wish I wasn't such a sweet guy." "What the heck, the pay is good." "Hiya, Wilma, I'm home." "What are you up to, Fred?" "You're keeping something from me." "I know you, Fred Flintstone, you've got something secret going on." "Now what is it?" "I walked to the corner, turned, and walked back." "What's so cloak-and-dagger about that?" "What kind of secret could I get from here to Schultz's delicatessen?" "I don't know, Fred, but something's going on." "Guilt is written all over your face." "Boy." "How do they do it?" "They must have x-ray eyes." "Read a guy's mind right through his skull." ""Guilt is written all over your face."" "What an imagination." "I don't believe it." "I'll hide the ticket in the lining of this old suit." "Betty will never find it." "Haven't worn it for years." "Hello, Betty." "What's going on, Barney, what are you up to?" " Up to?" " You're acting funny." "I was straightening up my closet, what's funny about that?" "Straightening up your closet?" "That's the funniest thing I've heard today." "You haven't straightened up that goat's nest since we moved here." "Look at it:" "Old golf clubs, water skis, cracked bowling ball... broken fishing pole, paint pails, and all those old clothes." "I've a good mind to throw it all out before the Board of Health quarantines us." "Now, wait a minute." "That's my closet." "That stuff might come in handy someday." "It sure will, when we open a junkyard." "I don't get it." "I go to this closet thousands of times, no Betty." "I hide something in it once..." "And, whammo, there she is." "When a guy puts a wedding ring on his wife's finger... it turns on a radar that reads a guy's mind." "No wonder they never take their wedding rings off." " Betty, are you home?" " Hi, Wilma." "I'm in the kitchen." "Where's Barney?" "I think he went over to your house to see Fred." " Did you get the ticket?" " Yep, here it is." "And believe me, we were lucky." "This is the last sweepstake ticket in town." "Let me have it, Wilma." "I'll hide it before Barney and Fred get their little hot hands on it." " How about hiding it under the sofa?" " No." "Sometimes Barney takes a nap under there." "I've got a better place." "I'll put it in this old coffee pot." "He doesn't even know there's a shelf here, much less a coffee pot." "Now remember, Wilma, not a word about this to the boys." "Don't worry." "I know those two." "If they knew we had a sweepstake ticket... first thing they'd do is rush out to the store... and buy everything in sight." "Silly things." "Like new bowling balls, sport cars, or something ridiculous." "Right, nothing sensible like a new wardrobe for us." "Say, speaking about wardrobes... all the stores are having a summer sale today on their new fall clothes." "And our ticket might win." " I was thinking the same thing." " What are we waiting for?" "Charge it!" "You expecting company, Betty?" "I'll go see who it is." " Yes, what is it?" " Pardon me, my little lady." "My hobby is collecting handouts:" "Old clothes, bottles... money, small change." "Anything you may wish to dispose of." "Wait a minute, I'll see." " Who is it, Betty?" " Some poor old fellow down on his luck." "I'll see what Barney's got in that closet of his." "This ought to do." "Barney hasn't worn this thing for years." "He'll never miss it." "Thank you, lady." "Your generosity is appreciated." "Okay, Betty, you did your good deed for the day." "Now let's do something nice for ourselves." "I'm with you." "Charge it!" "Boy, when our ticket wins we'll do big things, Barney." "And how." "We'll treat the bowling team to a free game." "Yeah, we'll have a pizza-pie spread for the whole gang." "Look, Fred, there's Wilma and Betty." "I wonder where they're going." "Charge it!" "Does that answer your question?" "Betty must have found our sweepstake ticket." "Impossible, Fred." "That ticket is hidden where nobody can find it." "Absolutely nobody." "What's the matter, Barney, you sick or something?" "You look green." "Excuse me, Fred, I'll be right back." "I got to check up on something." "No." "After him, Fred." "That old guy that just passed by." "He has our sweepstake ticket in the pocket." " You!" "Stop, come back here!" " That's my jacket." "You knucklehead." "The ticket's hidden where no one will find it?" "Hold it, mister!" "Okay, pop, off with the coat." "Stand back or I'll clobber you with this cane." " Where did you get that coat?" " Make one false move... and I'll beat a tattoo on your noggin." "Okay, you can keep the coat, pop." "All we want is the ticket." "Here's a one-way ticket to Lumpsville." "Take that." "And that." "Help, police!" "Hold him, Fred, while I take the coat off." "Two against one." "I have seen enough, let's go." "It's only fair to warn you I've studied judo." " Relax, pop, all we want is the ticket." " Yeah, you can have the coat." "Put that old man down." " He hit us first." " It's not like it looks, Officer." "It never is." "Hello." "It's you, Fred." "I've been looking all over for you." "Where are you?" "The police station?" "Yeah, and Barney's with me." "Now listen, get ahold of Betty and come right down here." "She can clear up the whole thing." "Search me, Betty." "All I know is they're in on an 803... and that you can clear it up." " What's an 803?" " Attacking an old man with his own cane." "Even Perry Masonary couldn't clear that up." "And that's the way it happened, sir." "Barney didn't know I'd given his coat to that nice old man." "Okay, lady, I'll let him go." "But let this be a lesson to you." "A man's closet should be sacred." "What looks like junk to a wife... may have great sentimental value to a husband." "Last year, my wife threw out a pair of sneakers..." "I had for 16 years." "But for the children's sake we're back together again." "Al, release the prisoners." "Men, they sure stick together." "Barney, I didn't get a chance to ask you on the way home... did you get the ticket out of the coat..." " before the cops took us in?" " I sure did, partner." "Good, bring it over to my house, I'll take care of it from now on." "That ain't necessary, Fred." "I've got it hidden where no one will find it." "Yeah?" "That's what you said before, only Betty almost gave it away." "Don't worry, partner, she won't find it this time." "Trust me." "Betty would never think of looking in that old cookie jar." "It's too obvious." "But I better check it to make sure." "Here's the ticket, safe and sound." "I don't blame Fred for getting nervous after what happened." "Barney!" "What in the world are you doing up on that stool?" "Stool?" "Yeah." "I saw a mouse." "Get down from there and stop your nonsense." "Dinner's ready." "Okay, dear." "I wonder." "It's here all right." "For a minute I thought he found our ticket." "Flintstone, wake up." " Hello, sucker." " Sucker?" "You buy a sweepstake ticket... and you haven't seen hide nor hair of it since." "In my book that makes you a sucker." "Hasn't it dawned on you that your partner, Barney... might have some gimmick going where he'll cop all the dough?" "Don't listen to him, Frederick." "You know Barney is honest and trustworthy." " You must have dignity." " Dignity, shmignity!" "That's out where money is concerned." "And as far as you're concerned... you're out, too." "Now listen before that goody-goody guy comes back." "You want to hold that ticket for a while, don't you, to protect your interest?" "You bet." "Betty and Barney are asleep." "So sneak over there and get it." "Sneak over and get it." "But suppose they see me?" "How could I explain that?" "Easy." "Just make believe you're walking in your sleep." "Capisce?" "Yeah, I capisce." "And I should be the one to hold it anyway." "Now you're talking." "I hope she don't wake up." "Fred?" " Quick, stupid, into your sleepwalking act." "Yeah." "No." "Not that sleepwalking act again." "Every time he goes on a diet he uses that routine to sneak a snack." "Why fight it?" " Good night, Fred." " Good night, Wilma." "It worked." "Now hurry up, get the ladder out of the garage and get going." "Now what's the matter?" "I feel like a big fat crook, that's what." "So you're fat." "Does that mean you're dishonest?" "After all, you're stealing what was yours in the first place." " Yeah, you're right." " So get going already." "I hate to do this, but it's for his own good." "Can't you do anything wrong right?" "What happened?" " Somebody pushed the ladder." " Yeah, and I know who." "Wait here." "Oh, me." "Oh, my." "Scram!" "Okay, the coast is clear." "No, Frederick, don't do it." "If you set one foot in that house you'll be sorry." "Don't listen to him." "You know good guys never win." "And if you know what's good for you, you'll blow." "Yeah, like he says:" "Blow." "Attaboy, let your conscience be your guide." " Your bad conscience." "Get it?" " Yeah." "Good." "They're still asleep." "Now, where would a guy like Barney keep a sweepstakes ticket?" "Let's see." "I'll look under his pillow first." "Go to sleep Go to sleep" "Close your big, bloodshot eyes" "Go to sleep" "Good night, Mommy." "Mommy?" "Ain't that a kick in the head?" "Good night, son, but first tell Mommy... where you hid the sweepstakes ticket." "It's in the kitchen, up on the shelf, above the stove." "Now kiss little Barney good night, Mommy." "Okay, son, here's a kiss for you." "He must have meant that old coffee pot." "I'll take a look in there first." "Hot dog, I found it." "You'll be safe with me, baby." "Barney will thank me for it when we win." "Wilma." "Hi, Betty, what's up?" "They're going to announce the sweepstakes winner on the radio." " Come on over." " I'll be right there, Betty." "Boy, we cannot lose" "All I got to say is you're the lucky number" "You're the lucky number" "We cannot lose, you're the lucky number et cetera, et cetera, number" "What's the matter with him?" "I don't know." "But whatever it is I don't like it." "Let's just get our ticket, and I'll feel better." " It's gone!" "Our ticket is gone!" " Gone?" " Do you think it was Barney?" " I don't have to think." "I'm sure of it." "Look, Betty, isn't that a sweepstake ticket?" "Barney Rubble, where did you get that ticket?" "What difference does it make?" "If we win we'll split." " You'll get your share." " We'll get our share?" "What nerve." "Hold it, girls, here comes the announcement." "And here's the winning number on the sweepstakes, folks." "It's number.; 2, 7, 3, 4, 9... 0, 8, 1, 1, 7, 5... 3, 3, 2... 9, 0, 9, 8, 1, 0, 0." "Series X." "Series X?" "We didn't win." "Barney!" "We hit it, we won!" "We got the winning ticket, you were right." "It was your lucky number!" "Congratulate us, girls..." "Barney and I just won the sweepstakes!" "But, Fred, where did you get the ticket?" "Where did I get it?" "Just where you hid it, Barney-boy... right under the coffee pot on the shelf over the stove." "Coffee pot." "Why, that's our ticket!" "There were two tickets." "No offense, Barney, but I just wanted to make sure it was safe." "Which reminds me, Wilma... my pal Barney and I are going to run the finances around here... and we don't want to see you girls run off on any big spending spree." "Right, partner?" "And here's the big news about the sweepstake winner, folks." "Two local people, living right here in Bedrock..." " share the winning ticket." " That's us, Barney-pal." "Congratulations to Mrs. Fred Flintstone and Mrs. Barney Rubble." "Mrs?" "What's he talking about?" "There must be some mistake." "Yeah, Fred, and you made it." "You took the wrong ticket." "Thanks for minding our ticket." " We'll see you later, boys." " Yeah, much later." "Charge it!" " Fred?" " Yeah, Barney." "Whatever made you do such a thing, Fred?" "Some guy gave me a bum steer... but I'll never listen to him again." "Never." " Hi, pal." " You again?" "Yeah, listen, why don't you go downtown and get a new bowling ball... before Wilma spends all that dough?" "Barney, how about getting a new fishing pole... before Betty runs out of loot?" " Fred, I just thought of a good idea." " Say no more, Barney." "I just got the same idea." "Let's go." "Charge it!" "Come on, Wilma, open this door!" "English" "Hey, Fred, I'm getting the hang of this." "Watch." "That's pretty good flipping, pal." "Keep up the good work." "Hey, now watch this." "A double somersault flip-over." "I'm sorry, Fred." "Watch it, fathead." "Okay, where is it, Wilma?" " Where is what, Fred?" " My dinner." "When I sit down, I want it and me... to hit the wire in a photo finish." "I'll photo-finish you, Fred... if you don't wash those hands before you sit down at the table." "And while you're at it, wash your face, too." "All right, you just get my dinner ready." "This isn't home anymore." "It's a waterhole where the animals come to devour their kill." ""Wash your hands." ""Wash your face." "Wash behind your ears." "Put it back."" "Now that you've eaten, Fred, and you're in a good mood... what's troubling you?" "It's my job." "I'm sick and tired of it." "Who isn't tired of their job?" "Do you think I like my setup?" "Cooking, cleaning, washing all day." "Never get to go anywhere." "Why, the last time we went out together was when the drapes caught on fire." "Oh, honey." "I'm sorry, Wilma." "I know you work hard." "I admit you deserve better." "And someday, I'm going to see to it that you get what you deserve." "Really, Fred, I'm not complaining." "I married you for better or for worse... and some day that better will come along." "Now, why don't you forget it and go visit Barney." "Okay, dear, I will." " Hi, Fred, come in." " Hi, Betty." "Is Barney home?" "I'm in the den, Fred, reading the papers." "Checking on the rock market, Barney?" "I was just glancing through the want-ad section." "Are you looking for a job?" "I am getting tired of the rut I'm in." "No kidding?" "You, too?" " What do you mean, Fred?" " I'll tell you something, Barney." "As long as we work for someone else, we'll stay in a rut." "The only way to make it is to have our own business." "Sure, but what do we know about running businesses?" "Are you kidding?" "We've got the most important asset right now." "Brains." "We got it up here." "Granted." "But what business can we get into?" "Not what business, but which business are we best suited for?" "Offhand, Barney... what would you say I do best?" "That's easy, Fred." "You can stow away more food than anybody I know." "That's it." "You hit the nail on the head." " What did I say, Fred?" " Enough to give me a brilliant idea." "Barney, you and me are going into the restaurant business." "The restaurant..." "What's the matter with you?" "You don't want the girls to know about it yet." " Where are we going, Fred?" " To get a restaurant, that's where." "But we don't know nothing about restaurants." "You said yourself, I know food." "Sure." "And I can tell time, but I can't make a watch." "But suppose we fail, Fred?" "Fail?" "That is negative thinking again, Barney." "You've got to think positively." "You get it?" "Positively." "Right, Fred." "We will positively fail." "What a partner." "So you want to go in business for yourself?" "Yes, sir." "Sure you won't settle for a paper route?" " We had a restaurant in mind." " Yeah, have you got one for sale?" "Yeah, but you'd be surprised... how many places insist on some cash changing hands." "Complicates it when you two are broke." "Say, wait a minute." "This might be it." "A drive-in restaurant." "No cash, no down payment, just notes to sign." "We'll take it." "Where do we sign?" "No, just a minute, Fred." "Let's not be hasty." "Tell us a little about it." "I'll be perfectly honest." "The place failed once." "But only because the owner lacked personality." "Now, you two are different." "The minute you walked in, I said to myself:" ""Those boys are full of personality."" "Could we see it first?" "Say, that little partner of yours is no fool." "He's all business." "What a perfect combination." "One, all personality." "And the other, all business." "Tell you what, we'll go see it right now." "You guys wait outside for a minute... while I make an urgent business call." " Hello, Al?" " Yes?" "I got a couple of live ones for your drive-in." "Yeah, put some of your used cars around it." "We're coming out right away." "There she is, boys." "Notice the cars?" "And that's with the place closed." "Imagine what will happen when you open up." " Boy!" " Oh, boy!" " Partner, we got the business." " Yeah, I'm sure we did." "We got lots to do, Barney-boy." "Buy food, hire waitresses, get ready for the grand opening." "But we'd better not tell Wilma and Betty about this for a while, Fred." "You're right, Barney." "Some wives don't understand a guy quitting his job." " Right, that's the kind I got." " Me, too." "We'll keep our mouths shut." "Guess what, Gwendolyn?" "The Drive Inn is opening up again." "Oh, goody." "Maybe we can get our old jobs back again." "My boyfriend, Eddie, gave me the new owner's telephone number." "A guy named Fred." "Let's call him up right away and let him know... the world's best car hops are available." "Hello?" "Who?" "Yes, there's a Fred living here, but he isn't home right now." "We heard he's going to need a couple of girls." "Who, Fred?" "I want to tell him my friend and I are a couple of live wires." "I'm sure you are." "Thanks, honey." "We'll call him back later." "Live wires." "When I get through with Fred, there'll be no place for a live wire to hook on to." "Hi, Wilma, baby." "Lover-boy is home." "I've got something to discuss with you." "Not now, honey." "I've got a couple of important things on my mind." "That's exactly what I want to discuss." "Okay, but I deny all charges till I know what they are." "It's your dime." "Start talking." "This is Fred." "A couple of live what?" "A couple of live wires." "Me and Gwendolyn are the best drive-in waitresses in town." "Oh, boy." " He said, "Oh, boy."" " Good." "Keep talking." "Look, Charlie, I don't want any raffle tickets." "Besides, what would I do with a big dinosaur if I won?" "I don't understand him." "You talk to him, Gwendolyn." "Who's this now?" "Irving." "No, Irv, I just explained it all to Charlie." "Goodbye." " He hung up." " It must've been a bad connection." "Let's go see him, personal-like." "Who was that, Fred?" " You mean on the phone?" " Yes, I mean on the phone." "That was Charlie and Irving." "Was it two girls that called?" " Girls?" " Yes, girls." "They wear dresses, long hair, perfume." "You must've noticed them." " There are lots of them around." " Now, look here, Wilma..." "I don't know what girls you're talking about, and that's the truth." "By the way, Barney..." "I had a couple of strange phone calls today." "First there was a butcher." "He wanted to know if you were interested in two tons of dinosaur burgers." "And then some man named Eddie called." "He said two girls are interested in seeing you." "What girls, Barney?" "That's crazy." "What girls would be interested in me?" "I'm interested in you." "What does that make me, chopped liver?" "Honest, Betty." "I don't know what it's all about." "It sounds mighty suspicious to me." "Come on, Fred, stop sulking." "I'm sorry I mistook Charlie and Irving for girls." "It's the principle of the thing." "If we don't trust each other, we got nothing." "I do trust you, Fred." "And I won't mention it again." "That must be Barney." "Maybe he can get you out of this mood." "Hello, honey." "Is Fred in?" "We're the girls who called earlier, remember?" " Who is it, Wilma?" " It's Charlie and Irving." "And they've got their raffle tickets with them." "Come in, fellas." "Here we come on the run With a burger on a bun" "And a dab of coleslaw on the side" "Oh, your taste we will tickle With a cold dill pickle" "And all of our potatoes are French-fried, fried, fried" "Our burgers can't be beat 'Cause we grind our own meat" "Grind, grind, grind, grind, grind" "When you drive away" "A tip upon our tray" "We hope to find, find, find, find, find" "We hope to find, find, find, find, find" "Yeah, I know." "You never saw them before in your life." "Here we come on the run With a burger on a bun" "They're at Barney's." "Come on, Fred." "We are going to get to the bottom of this." "And all of our potatoes are French-fried, fried, fried" "Our burgers can't be beat 'Cause we grind our own meat" "Grind, grind, grind, grind, grind" "When you drive away" "A tip upon our tray" "We hope to find, find, find, find, find" "We hope to find, find, find, find, find" "Barney-boy, you are a genius." "You sure got us out of a jam last night." "Convincing our wives we were auditioning waitresses... for our annual club dinner... will go down in history with the invention of the bow and arrow." "It was really nothing." "I just happened to think of it." "With brains like that, Barney-boy, our business can't miss." "I feel so ashamed about last night, Betty." "Jumping to conclusions about those girls was unfair." "Yeah, Fred and Barney are real good guys." "Never miss a day's work, bring home their paychecks regularly." "You're right." "I think I'll call Fred and apologize again." " Why don't you?" "He'd like that." " I will." "Hello, may I speak to Fred Flintstone, please?" "He what?" "When?" "I see." "Well, thank you." "What did the old darling do, Wilma?" "The old darling, steady Freddie, has quit his job." "What?" "I'll call Barney." "He'll know what happened." "Hello, may I speak to Barney Rubble, please?" "Are you sure?" "Thank you." "Barney has quit his job, too." "Are you kidding?" "Two pounds of dinosaur meat for burgers?" " The minimum order is two tons." " Two tons?" "Of course." "You're in the restaurant business now." "And to get it for a price, you got to take three tons of parsley." " Three tons of parsley?" " What do we do with it?" "What every restaurant does:" "You put some parsley on each order so the customers can throw it away." "What's the matter with you guys?" "It's been going on for years." "Okay, we'll take two tons of dinosaur meat." "Yeah, and three tons of parsley to throw away." "Here we come on the run With a burger on a bun" "And a dab of coleslaw on the side" "Oh, your taste we will tickle With a cold dill pickle" "And all of our potatoes are French-fried, fried, fried" "Our burgers can't be beat 'Cause we grind our own meat" "Grind, grind, grind, grind, grind" "Oh, no!" " They're not in the pool hall, Betty." " Let's try the bowling alley." "I'm telling you, when I find that Barney... he's sure going to have a lot of explaining to do." "Hey, Fred, I'm getting the hang of this." "Watch." "That's pretty good flipping, pal." "Keep up the good work." "Hey, now watch this." "A double somersault flip-over." "I'm sorry, Fred." "Watch it, fathead." " They're not in here." " Let's try the ball park next." "One order of barbecued ribs, Fred." " Right." "One order of ribs, Barney." " Right." "Boy, here come the ribs." "Don't they look delicious?" "Barbecued ribs coming up." " Will there be anything else, sir?" " Yeah, two cups of coffee." "Two cups of coffee, Fred." "And, miss, bring the ketchup, too." "One fried-egg sand." " Barney, where is the hotcakes?" " They keep disappearing." "Give me that thing." "Hotcakes just don't disappear." " See what I mean?" " Quiet, you bonehead." "There's a bird up there knocking off our hotcakes." " What are you going to do?" " Use this rock." "It's his puny bird brain against mine." "Watch this, Barn." "They'll call that bird "Rock Bottom" from now on." "I give up, Betty." "We've looked everywhere." " Do you suppose they left town?" " It's possible." "Fred is so sensitive." "And I made all those false accusations." "You're right." "And Barney must've gone with him." "Poor Fred." "He's so used to home-cooking, too." "Which reminds me, we haven't had a thing to eat all day." " How about grabbing a sandwich?" " Okay." "There's a drive-in on the next corner." "Get that, will you, Gwen?" "My feet are killing me." "Sure, Daisy." "What will it be, ladies?" " Just a coconut shake for me." " And I'll have some pterodactyl tea." "A shake and tea." "Betty, look at our waitress." "It's Charlie." "And there's Irving." "Wilma, under the chef's hat." "Anyone you know?" "Fred!" "And look who's making the shake." "One coconut shake coming up." "It's Barney." "Here's your order, girls." "Who had the coconut shake?" "Charlie, I mean, miss, do you remember us?" "Yeah, sure." "You're the wives of the new owners." "That's right." "And I wonder if you'd do us a favor." "Sure." "We'd like to borrow your uniforms to play a joke on our husbands." "Certainly." "In fact, you can have them." "Daisy and I want to get into something else... like the guided missiles and stuff." "We hear they're going places." "One hamburger, and hold the onions, lover-boy." "Hold the onions?" "I'd rather hold a tomato." "Do you get it?" "Tomato?" " Draw one black, sweetie." " One black, coming up." "Say, did you hear about the monkey that played piano at parties?" "No, I didn't." "This will kill you." "His tail fell in this lady's coffee... and she says, "Do you know your tail is in my coffee?"" "And the monkey says, "No, but if you whistle it, I'll try to play it."" "You get it?" "Oh, boy, nothing." "You gals, no sense of humor." "I get the same reaction at home from my wife." "I got a million of them, a million of them." "What's the matter, Barney?" "Cat got your tongue?" "No, it's still there." "What do you suppose he's trying to say, Wilma?" "You think the boys will get their jobs back, Wilma?" "We'll know in a little while." "Fred said he'd call as soon as he found out." "That's Fred." "Keep your fingers crossed, Betty." "Hello?" "Yes, Fred, it's me." "You did?" "And what about Barney?" "He did?" "That's wonderful." " They got their jobs back, Betty." " That's a relief." "Fred, let's celebrate tonight and all go out to dinner." "I'll make the reservations." "Hurry home, dear." "I gotta admit it, you girls are real good sports... not being sore about that you-know-what." "We all make mistakes, Fred." "You got your job back, that's the important thing." "And after all, you managed to get rid of the you-know-what... with only a 50% loss." "Will you excuse us, Fred?" "Betty and I are going to nose our powder." "Sure, honey." "Take your time." "Yeah, and when you get back, we'll have a little dance." "Barney-boy, there go two of the good ones." "You said it, Fred." "Some wives would keep hammering and yammering at you... just because you made a little mistake." "Yeah, try to make you feel small." "Right." "But not Wilma and Betty." "They haven't even mentioned the subject." "They've dismissed it from their minds." "Ladies and gentlemen... the Rockadero Club brings you a special attraction tonight." "A little number dedicated to the gentlemen at table six:" "Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble." "Here we come on the run With a burger on a bun" "And a dab of coleslaw on the side" "Oh, your taste we will tickle With a cold dill pickle" "And all of our potatoes are French-fried, fried, fried" "Our burgers can't be beat 'Cause we grind our own meat" "Grind, grind, grind, grind, grind" "Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble" "Are to blame for all our trouble" "And if they think that we'll forget" "They're out of their mind, mind, mind, mind, mind" "Thank you, girls, thank you." "That was Mrs. Flintstone and Mrs. Rubble, folks." "They call themselves "Charlie and Irving."" "Well, like you said, Barney... some wives would try to make a guy feel small." "Yeah, ain't it the truth." "Come on, Wilma, open this door!" "English" "Wilma, where are you?" "I'm here, Fred, under the bed." " Under the bed?" " That's what I said." "Did the big bad prowler scare you?" "I forgot my loot." "The prowler!" "Fred, you'd better hurry, or you'll be late for work." "I'm hurrying." "I'll be with you as soon as I shave." "Fred, it would be nice if you were ready just once..." " when Barney comes to pick you up." " I'm ready." " Where's breakfast?" " It's ready." "Three-and-a-half hours soft-boiled dodo egg coming up." "And don't leave half of it as usual." "Just get me my toast and maybe I can leave." " What was that?" " Search me?" "Sounds like it came from Barney's house." "Anything could come from Barney's house." "Step on it, Fred, we're going to be late." "Hold it, Barney." "What's going on at your house?" "Like, meaning what?" "Like, meaning that, that's what." " Oh, that." "That's Betty." " That's Betty?" "Sure, she's taking judo lessons." "Judo lessons?" "What for?" "What's with you, Fred, don't you read the papers?" ""Citizens warned to be on lookout for phantom burglar."" " So, why the judo?" " A woman's gotta protect herself." "What about you?" "She'll protect me, too." "Oh, boy." "It's getting late, fellas." "Yeah, let's get going." "Wait till the fellas down at work get a load of this." "Barney's wife taking judo lessons to protect him." "Wilma, better hurry up." "They're waiting for you." "Okay." "They're waiting for what?" "And who's they?" "They is Betty and Professor Rockimoto... and they are waiting for me." "Hold it." "You are not taking judo lessons." "That is final, clear, and once and for all, no." "What's wrong with trying to protect myself?" " What about me?" " I'll protect you, too." "Yeah, Fred, wait till the guys at work hear about your wife... taking judo lessons to protect you." "Out!" "Is Wilma there?" "Hi, Betty, I thought it would be you." "Listen, the judo lessons are out." " No." " It's no judo lesson." "You know it's not the lessons, it's the money." "That's for sure." "Wait till he finds out I already paid for the first lesson." "You might as well take it." "The Professor's still here." "And I don't think he's the refund type." "That for sure." "Maybe one lesson is all you need." "No, I guess you'll need more." " So very sorry." " So is she." "Save me a seat, I'll be back in a minute." "So, now you are ready for lesson number one." "Ready but not willing." "Here we go." "One thing about judo, you take a polite beating." " Does it hurt?" " Only when I'm sitting." "What hurts more is that I paid for 10 lessons." "That for sure." "That for very dang sure." " Hiya, Fred." " Hop in, Barney." " Sounds like you need new brakes." " You can say that again." "Look at the paper." "How about that." "How about what?" ""Prowler strikes again." ""Burglar proves too elusive for police."" "You don't have to worry." "Your wife is gonna protect you with judo." "Yeah, she's doing real good, too." "She's taking her fifth lesson today." "Fifth lesson?" "You mean you're still letting her take lessons?" " And what's wrong with that?" " What's wrong with it?" "It's going to cost me money, that's what's wrong with it." " Cost you money?" " Indubitably." "I might go so far as to say in-double-dubitably." "If you let Betty have judo lessons, next she'll be taking up jai alai... then free-for-all wrestling, next the bongo drums." "How many times can I say no?" " I'm asking you." " So it's all my fault?" "Certainly, it's your fault." "You start learning to say no, and we'll all be ahead." "You heard me tell Wilma... no judo lessons, that's final, clear... and once and for all, no judo lessons." "Greetings." "Greetings, neighbor." "Ready for honorable lesson number five?" "Ready, honorable neighbor." "There's nothing to it." "I get a stranglehold on your sleeve... and I toss you onto that pile of pillows over there." "You mean that itty-bitty pile of pillows way over there?" "Fred isn't going to like this." "Relax, he won't care." "I'm giving you my lessons free." " I don't think I'm going to like it either." "Here goes." "You missed." "I missed?" "Who threw who?" "It doesn't make any difference." "Prowlers aren't supposed to land on pillows." " Now she tells me." " Okay, now it's your turn." "You mean I throw you?" " I'm going to like that." " Now, I'm a prowler." "I pick the lock on this door." "You hear it." "Your heart's pounding with excitement." "You see the prowler's hand reaching inside." "Reaching, reaching." " What do you do?" " I scream for Fred." "That won't do you any good." "Fred's under the bed." " What else do you do?" " I faint." "That's what else." " No." " What else is there?" "You grab his arm and you give him what I just gave you." "Free judo lesson number five." "What a time to start teaching anybody." "Okay, I'll pretend I'm the prowler." "I'll go outside." "When I open the door, you grab my arm and you flip me across the room." "Now remember your lesson." "Okay, I grab his arm..." "I apply free lesson number five." " Let me know when you're ready." " Just a minute, I'm thinking." " Hiya, Betty." " Hello, Fred." "Made good time tonight." "Traffic was light." " By the way, Barney's starving." " He is?" "I better head home and get his dinner." "Wilma." "Fred, no!" "You're home early, Fred." "You've been taking judo lessons." "What did you say?" "I didn't say anything." "I'm thinking." "It's either the lawn mower, or I can hear you thinking." "And I know what you're thinking." "And I still think it's okay for a woman to take judo lessons." "I don't." "It's a waste of money, and it's a waste of time talking to you." "At least I don't have to hide under the bed if the prowler shows up!" " Who said I did?" " Wilma told Betty." "She heard a noise and tried to get under the bed." "And she couldn't." "You were there first." "All right, smart guy, let's see who gets under the bed tonight." "I'll prove to you you're wasting your money." "Like how?" "After you've gone to bed, I'll sneak in, dressed like a burglar." "Then what do you think your wife will do?" "She'll say, " Hello, Fred, why steal it?" ""Just borrow it as usual."" "All right, funny man... if she doesn't scream for help and jump under the bed..." "I'll pay for the judo lessons." "Okay?" "Is that a bet?" "It's a bet." "I'd be less than a husband if I didn't stand behind my wife." "With her judo lessons, it's the safest place to be." "Good night, Fred." "Where's my ear plugs?" "A real sneaky exit, if I say so myself." "The masked prowler strikes again." "Now we'll see who screams and jumps under the bed." "What is this?" "Two of us working the same neighborhood?" "I'd better practice some prowler routines before I go in." "Let's see." "All right, you guys, I've got you covered." "Don't move a muscle or I'll blast you, see." "I don't believe it." "I must be having hallucinations." "What is this, anyway, amateur night?" "A couple of screwy faces ought to send her under the bed in a hurry." "Like..." "I'm going to report that guy to the prowlers union." "Next thing you know he'll try something unethical... like going in the front door." "And he is!" "Barney said he'd leave the door open." "How about that." "It's locked." "I'll have to try the window." "I've got to admit, he's got style." "I'd better hit that house over there before he gets to it." "Barney." "Give me a hand through the window." "I don't think we ought to go through with it, Fred." "No, you don't, I'm going to prove... this judo is a waste of time and money once and for all." "Now come on, give me a hand." "Okay, Fred, you're asking for it." "All right, now heave." "How do you like that." "I never get that kind of cooperation when I rob a house." "Boy, you're a big one." "Shut up and heave." "Okay!" "Heave!" "Help!" "Barney, get me out of here!" "Just a minute, Fred, I'll have you out in a jiffy." "Hurry up, I can't breathe." "I think the number five mallet will do the trick." "Steady, Fred." "I bat a sticky wicket." "Fore!" "What a shot." "A hole in one." "All right, come on, open the door." "I can't, Fred." "It locked when I came out." "Oh, boy." "Okay, now, give me boost in the window." "Gee, I don't know, Fred, you're pretty fat." "Never mind that, wise guy, make with the hands." "I'm telling you you're too heavy." "Easy now." "One, two, alley..." "Can't you do anything right?" "Why don't we do it the easy way, Fred?" "I'll get the ladder." "The ladder?" "Yeah." "I was just about to suggest that." "Now hold it till I get in." "Hold it steady." " I'm doing my best, Fred." " That ain't enough, you've got to..." " She didn't wake up." " I know." "She sleeps like a rock." "Maybe you ought to come back tomorrow." "You're out of your mind." " Now, go on over there and wake her up." " She's not going to like it." "And she wakes up awfully mean and cranky." "Stop yakking, a bet's a bet." "You asked for it." "Betty." "Let me sleep five more minutes, Barney." "There's a prowler here to see you." "Tell him we don't want any." "Prowler!" "Help, Barney!" "See, what did I tell you, Barney?" "Help, Barney!" "Head for the hills!" "I told him she wakes up awful mean and cranky." "That judo's dangerous." "I hope Wilma didn't wake up." "Talk about nerve." "Burgle two houses in one night?" "Ain't you being a little greedy, buster?" " But it's mine." " And who saw it first?" "Out!" "It's the prowler." "I got to help Wilma." "I said beat it!" "I'd better call the police." "I'll use Barney's phone." "Barney, he's back." "Help!" "Help, Barney!" "Call the police." "She needs the police?" "That's what I've been trying to tell you." "You mean that was Fred... and it wasn't the prowler at all?" "Not at all, just old Fred." "I'm going to tell Wilma about her big fat practical joker... before he scares her to death." "Hello?" "Is Wilma there?" "Yeah, she's here." "It's for you." "Thanks." "Hello?" "Gee, dames." "That's Wilma." "I'm coming, honey." "Wilma, what's wrong?" "The prowler, he's here." "No, it's not." "It's Fred." " Fred?" " Fred?" "He's not in bed." "Lessons two and three?" "Serves him right." "I'll give him lessons four and five if he tries it on me again." "If he's laid a finger on her I'll tear him apart." "Are you okay?" "It is the prowler." "Luckily, I have had judo lessons... which my chintzy husband didn't want to pay for." "Buster, haven't we met before?" "Believe it or not, he tried it again." "You gave him lesson number three?" "Oh, boy." "Poor Fred." "I wish he'd come back here again." "I like the practice." "So it's you." "You don't seem to get the message." "Jump me when I'm not looking, huh?" "For the last time, out." "And stay out." "I better stay here and think things over." "Maybe Fred will change his mind now." "You mean, to let you take judo lessons?" "I doubt it." "One thing for sure... he won't be trying that burglar bit again in a hurry." "He's had it." "Believe it or not, he just won't quit playing cops and robbers." "He's at it again." " What are you going to do?" " Judo lesson five." "Give him lesson number five?" "He asked for it." "I'd better see if the coast is clear." "If Fred still wants to play prowler, I'll go along with the gag." "I might well play it to the hilt." "The prowler!" "If it is, I'd better notify his next of kin." "We better get over there and save Fred." "No, let him have fun scaring Wilma." "Buster, just call the cops." "Now ain't that a kick in the head." "Had enough, Freddie?" "Lady, you've been taking judo lessons." "That's for sure." "Fred!" "It's the prowler!" "It's all yours, bub." "I'm cutting out of here." " Hey, Fred." " Fred, what happened?" "Where's Wilma?" "In the house." "She took one look at the prowler, screamed, and ducked inside." " The prowler?" " Yeah, the real thing." " Come on, we'd better find her." " She must be scared." "Wilma, where are you?" "I'm here, Fred, under the bed." " Under the bed?" " That's what I said." "You hear that, Barney?" "What did I tell you?" "See the prowler, big scream, zip and under the bed." "What happened, Wilma?" "Did the big bad prowler scare you?" "Excuse me, folks." "I forgot my loot." "The prowler!" "Boy, this is a for real nuthouse, that's for sure." "You're really going through with it?" "I have to." "A guy's gotta learn to protect himself." "Yeah, from his wife." "Don't forget, fellows, we're six lessons ahead of you." "Yes, is very good for families to taking judo lessons." "Yes, it make for togetherness." "Fred?" "Sukiyaki." "First, I are recommending... ten easy bronze medal family plan." "Very cheap." "That's for sure." "Next, move into additional 20 silver medal lessons." "Special discount prices, big bargain." "Then, for a few more measly dollars... you are eligible for gold medal... diamond medal, etcetera, etcetera." "What does..." ""etcetera, etcetera" mean in Japanese?" "Sucker?" "That's for sure." "Excuse please, sounds like a new customer." "Yes, please, what can I do for you?" "I want to sign up for some private judo lessons." "A prowler's got to learn to protect himself... if he's going to stay in business these days, right?" "That for sure." "By the way, how's business with you?" "Pretty good?" "You're not just whistling Dixie." "Wilma!" "Wilma, open the door!" "English"