"Mr. President." "I found the TV remote." "Good work, Sergeant." "I'm awarding you the Purple Heart." "But I wasn't injured." "Ow!" "Well, enough governing." "It's Saturday morning, damn it." "Let's watch some cartoons." "It's time to fall into the Futurama and Friends Saturday Morning Fun Pit!" "Here comes Bendee-Boo and the Mystery Crew!" "Bendee-Bendee-Boo, what's wrong with you?" "You're such a lousy mascot" "No one understands a single word you say not even the jerk in the ascot" "Rite my ring retal rass!" "It sure was nice of your nephew to invite us to his cloning lab here in the Repeating Forest." "Uh-huh." "Hey, like, here's a puzzler." "How old are we on a scale of 14 to 32?" "Did anyone else hear that weird laugh?" "It's spooky." "It doesn't seem to correspond to anything funny happening." "I'll say." "Turn around." "Go away." "Do it now." "Rikes!" "Splinkies!" "What was that?" "I don't know." "It's a mystery." "Like, I've got a bigger mystery." "How am I going to fill my hungry stomach?" "Yeah." "Where can we find food here in the woods?" "How about that kabuki theater?" "Like' where there's a kabuki theater, there's a concession stand." "Say, Fry, why do you always have the munchies?" "And also your eyes are bloodshot, you're paranoid, and the van has a skunky odor." "Search me." "No, don't." "I'm carrying." "I do enjoy a well-buttered floor." "George Takei?" "Reorge Rakei?" "Sorry to haunt you so effectively." "I thought you kids were that dragon ghost that's been spooking the town." "Like, what's the story with the yakitori?" "Help yourselves." "But I warn you, that chicken is over a year old." "Why is the food in your concession stand so old, Mr. Takei?" "You see, Amy, this used to be the most popular kabuki theater in the entire outskirts of town." "But people stopped coming after they built that darned basketball arena." "Now everybody likes basketball instead of Kabuki." "It's an insult to my Japanese heritage." "How so?" "This is America, not Japan." "Maybe so." "I'm not sure." "Now, how many tickets would you like for the show?" "Like, none." "But thanks for the yucky-tori." "Another grave insult to my ancestry." "Nu?" "Is this the professor's cloning lab?" "Cloning is a sin against nature!" "But yes." "Follow me to the professor's cloning room." "You see, I'm his butler." "Oh!" "My uncle Fry and his mystery-solving friends." "Perhaps you can make sense of the..." "What is it that's been haunting us, Zoidberg?" "Ghost." "Now then, let me show you my lab." "This is my cloning machine." "This is where I keep various lengths of wire." "And those are the Harlem Globetrotters." "The Globetrotters?" "What you doin' wearin' an ascot, brother?" "I think it looks nice." "Ah!" "What are you Globetrotters doing here?" "We're in town for the big game." "And we stopped by to help our friend, the professor, with his cloning machine." "Just call me the clone prince of basketball." "Like, it's basketball superstar Larry Bird!" "Larry Bird, what are you doing here?" "Hi." "This is Larry Bird calling." "Listen, my agent sent me that cartoon script, and I've decided I don't want to be involved in any way." "Nice to meet you, Larry Bird." "Okay, let's clone us a whole team of Larry Birds." "Now we can practice for the big game." "We figure, if we can beat five Larry Birds, we can beat anybody." "Cloning is wrong." "It's wrong, I say!" "Oh, I just hope that mysterious dragon ghost doesn't show up at the lab again." "But why would a ghost want to stop the Globetrotters from practicing?" "And against a team of clones, no less." "Well, gang, it looks like we've got more of the same mystery on our hands." "Like, the real mystery is how I'm gonna get any sleep with all this noise." "I need some air." "It's me, the dragon ghost." "We met before." "Like, yikes!" "ifs time to spring into action, gang." "Okay." "Rabbit goes around the tree." "There." "All right, it's time to get to the bottom of what, at this point, can only be called a mystery." "Let's split up." "Eight of us will stay here with this dragon-trap the professor built." "Meanwhile, Fry, Bendee, you go look for the dragon." "Like, you guys are terrible friends for always sending us to our deaths." "I'm not going." "Re reither!" "Would you do it for a Bendee Brew?" "Rokay." "Ri'm a ralcoholic." "Yummy, yummy, yummy" "I've got love in my tummy" "And I feel like a-lovin' you" "Love, you're such a sweet thing Good enough to eat thing" "And that's just a-what I'm gonna do" "Ooh, love to hold you Ooh, love to kiss you" "Ooh, love, I love it so" "Ooh, love, you're sweeter Sweeter than sugar" "Ooh, love, I won't let you go" "All right, gang." "I think we have all the clues we need to solve the mystery of the haunted cloning machine." "Only one person took issue with the ethical ramifications of cloning and also had access to this castle." "The butler, Dr. Zoidberg!" "Let's see who this so-called butler really is." "Oops." "Never mind." "Here, take this." "Ah!" "May he rest in peace." "Hey, there's a dragon in this trap!" "Help." "Help." "Let's see who this dragon ghost really is." "George Takei?" "That's right." "And I would never have gotten away with it, regardless of you meddling kids." "But, like, that dragon ghost was hovering and translucent." "Yes." "You see, I used the projector from my Kabuki theater." "But Kabuki theaters don't have a projector." "Some do." "It all makes sense." "He knew that if he scared the Globetrotters away from the big basketball game, disappointed fans would flock to his kabuki theater." "Of course!" "No, that's not why I did it." "Then, like, why did you do it?" "I'm mentally ill." "Thanks for helping solve the mystery." "After practicing against five Larry Birds, we're ready for anything." "And now, introducing the opponents, six Larry Birds!" "Bendee-Bendee-Boo!" "What's all this ruckus'?" "People live here, you know." "Mr. President, our children are fat and dumb, and we blame cartoons." "It's time to get government onto our backs." "We demand you regulate children's programming and force the writers to shoehorn in helpful lessons." "Fine, fine." "Get off my lawn." "I'll have Agnew put in a call to Hollywood." "All right, let's laugh and learn." "And now, the show that teaches kids to eat right and have a good time, all while tolerating others." "This will shut up those whining hippies." "Stay tuned for Purpleberry Pond." "Purpleberry Pond is fun for young and old" "When healthy juicy purpleberries fill your bowl" "We all get along and we're happy and merry" "I must get my hands on those healthy purpleberries." "Bort." "Of eating right we are very fond" "When we eat together on Purpleberry Pond" "Good morning, Princess Purpleberry." "Isn't it a lovely morning?" "It's particularly purp-tacular." "It's pur-practically pur-perfect." "It's funny how we never get tired of the word "purple." Never." "And it's all thanks to a balanced diet, composed of nothing but purpleberries." "I must get my hands on those healthy purpleberries." "Bort." "Purpleberry Pond will return after these messages." "Hey, Mickey, you seem kind of down." "You should try some sugar-blasted Purpleberry Puffs." "My sugar-blasted purpleberries are triple-soaked in maple-flavored syrup to start your day with purple power." "And the leftover milk looks like Purpleberry Pond." "Ah!" "Purpfeberry Puffs are the sweetest part of your complete breakfast." "Along with juice, toast, ham, eggs, bacon, milk, cheese, liver, waffles and a big horse vitamin." "And now, back to our show." "Healthy, healthy, healthy Healthy purpleberries are" "Eat purpleberries and you'll be a star" "Look, a new purp-son is coming to Purpleberry Pond." "Announcing Lord Loquai." "I wonder what shade of purple he'll be." "Greetings, Princess Purpleberry." "I am Lord Loquat, your new neighbor." "You're coming to live here?" "There goes the purple-hood." "You're different, and I don't like you." "Wait, it doesn't matter the color of your berries." "After all, it takes two colors to make a rainbow." "Shucks, I never thought of it that way." "Sorry, cheddar-head." "Look up high where the rainbow bends" "Orange and purple are the best of friends" "I must get my hands on those healthy purpleberries." "Bort." "And orangeberries." "We'll be back after these messages." "Mom, why is there orange in my Purpleberry Puffs?" "As an active morn, I care about these things." "I'll check the box while you start eating." "Now my sugar-blasted Purpleberry Puffs have loquat-flavored orangeberries." "Two colors?" "Wow." "Bort." "It's a small part of this girl's breakfast." "Whoa, whoa!" "Bort?" "I have a plan to get my hands on those purpleberries with new loquat-flavored orangeberries." "Soon I will have an important part of a complete breakfast." "Oh, no." "The Berry Burglar fired his snowball bomb." "The snow will destroy the purpleberry crop." "Wait, it's not snow." "It's sugar." "Yay!" "New sugar-frosted, sugar-blasted Purpleberry Puffs." "You can really see the sugar." "I don't know which I like more, original or type two." "And now, back to our show." "Curses, I didn't get my hands on those healthy purpleberries." "But next time, by gosh, I'll get my hands on those healthy purpleberries." "Bort." "Will the Berry Burglar never learn?" "Probably not, but we did." "We learned that no matter whether we're purple or orange..." "Or new polkaberry." "Good nutrition is just a bowl away." "You know you want to try it So tell your mom to buy it" "Buy Purpleberry Puffs cereal." "Buy!" "Buy!" "Buy!" "Bye-bye." "We'll be back with more commercials after these important messages." "Go, me!" "They fight for the heck of it because they like to, here comes G.I. Zapp" "G.I. Zapp, G.I. Zapp!" "G.I. Zapp is the code name for an elite group of heavily armed mercenaries, eager to murder the enemy, regardless of the cost in innocent lives." "Ah!" "Here we go." "No one can complain about this patriotic dreck." "What's that?" "A rock?" "I hate rocks." "What do you stupid voters want now?" "What possible objection could you have to the G.I. Zapp cartoon?" "It's too violent." "Oh!" "Very well." "As leader of the free world, it is my solemn duty to put an end to cartoon violence." "I'll have to re-edit the program." "Rose Mary, have we got any type of machinery to edit tape?" "Oh, you know we do." "Time for Dickie to get tricky." "G.I. Zapp!" "G.I. Zapp!" "G.I, Zapp!" "G.I. Zapp is the code name for an elite group of..." "Patriotic peacekeepers who rebuild schools with their bullet-sucking vacuum tanks." "That's what they are." "Today's episode, "Operation throat... "" ""Banana Split."" "What the hell kind of plane is that?" "Okay, G.I. Zapps." "Today's mission is to parachute into Fort Weaponsworth and take back our shrapnel laser, which was stolen by our sworn enemy." "The terrorist group known as A.C.R.O.N.Y.M." ""A.C.R.O.N.Y.M. A Criminal Regiment Of Nasty Young Men."" "That's clever." "I'll leave that the way it is." "I'll show those G.I. Zapps once and for all when I fire this surface-lo-air m..." "Warning shot." "Excellent plan, Profestro." "That'll blow them straight to he..." "Church." "Sound off as you jump." "Freezer Burn!" "Nutcracker!" "That's no name for a woman." "Let's just call her Pat." " Waterboard!" " Helpful Johnny." " Boxcutter!" " Powder Puff." " Orphan Crippler!" " Nah." "Pass." "Incoming surface-to-air..." "Telegram!" "Pilot, is your parachute packed and ready?" "Yes, sir." "Good, because I forgot mine." "Mayday!" "Mayday!" "I'll be home for dinner." "I..." "landed the plane safely next to this naturally occurring fireball." "At Disneyland." "Hi, Tinker Bell." "Ready." "Aim..." "Negotiate." "Ugh!" "Here comes a water balloon." "That's quite a splash." "Uh, beam me up, Scotty." "Yay!" "I caught it." "Ah!" " I'm hit." "Oh, God, it..." " Tickles." " Oh, no." "Freezer Burn is..." " Sleeping." " I will avenge him, you heartless..." " Bastards!" "It's okay if I say it." "Just measuring you for a new hat." "Three, four, cha-cha-cha." "Find that apple." "It's down there somewhere." "That's it, I'm pulling the plug." "Agnew, cut to the PSA." "Give me the ball!" "No, give me the ball." "I know, let's fight for it." "Now, hold on there, boys." "Violence never solved anything." "Then how do we decide who gets the ball?" "Agnew, show them." "There." "How do you like your stupid ball now?" "That concludes the Futurama and Friends Saturday Morning Fun Pit!" "Now stay tuned for six hours of golf."