"# And when I die" "# Won't you bury me" "# In the parkin' lot" "# Of the A  P?" "# Blow out the candles" "# And blow out the lamps" "# And light my pyre" "# With my trading' stamps" "Yee-ha!" "# I had three books" "# But I needed four" "# To go to heaven" "# And redeem my soul" "What happened to two, Mike?" "# I had two books" "# But I needed three" "# To deliver me" "# From the A  P" "Bravo, Mike!" "Bravo!" "Bellissima!" "You really make all that up?" "Are you really going to shave your legs?" "Certo." "All the Italians do it." "Some country the women don't shave theirs." "Eh, huh?" "Stop!" "It was somewhere right along here that I lost all interest in life." "Aha!" "It was right here." "This is where I saw Dolores Reineke... and fat Marvin!" "Why, Dolores?" "Why?" "They're married now." "See what I saved you from?" "If I hadn't told you, you never would have followed them out here." "You made me lose all interest in life, and I'm grateful." "My brother said he saw you and Nancy, Moocher." "When?" "Uh..." "last Friday." "Well, it wasn't me." "I'm not seeing her anymore." "I kind of miss school." "This will be the fýrst time no one will ask us to write a theme" " About how we spent our summer." " Yeah." "When you're 16, they call it sweet 16." "At 18, you can drink, vote, and see dirty movies." "What the hell do you get to do when you're 19?" "You leave home." "My dad said" "Jesus never went further than 50 miles from his home." "Look what happened to him." "Whoo!" "Hey, man, this feels great!" "Ahh!" "Come on in!" "Hey, come on in, Dave." "I read where this Italian coach said it's no good to swim right after a race." "Who's swimming?" "I'm taking a leak." "Dave... is Moocher home?" "Hey, ciao, Bambini." "Buon giorno!" "He was as normal as pumpkin pie... and now look at him." "His poor parents." "It's that cologne he wears." "It's called..." "Neapolitan Sunset." "Yeah?" "Well, the flies seem to like it." "There." "This is it?" "Well, you know what the doctor said." "At your age..." "What the hell do you mean "at my age"?" "Damn see-through coffee." "He says you have a bad heart." "That's got nothing to do with my age." "Our son's ruining my health, Evelyn." "What's he going to do?" "He wanted a year off, so I give him a year." "It hasn't been a year yet." "But, Evelyn, look what's happened to him." "He's turned into an "Ity."" ""Ciao, Papa." "Ciao, mama." "'Arrivederci. '"" "That's "Ity" talk." "I used to think it was funny at fýrst." "Not funny anymore." "He was very sickly until he started riding around on that bike." "Well, now his body's fýne, but his mind is going." "He used to be a smart kid." "I thought he'd go to college." "You didn't want him to." "Why should he?" "I never went." "At 19, I worked in the quarry ten hours a day." "Most of the quarries have closed." "Let him fýnd another job." "Jobs are not that easy to fýnd." "Let him look at least." "Let him come home tired from looking." "He's never tired." "He's never miserable." "He's young." "When I was young, I was tired and miserable." "I had my own place at 17." "He says Italian families stay together." "Evelyn, we are not Italian." "I know, I know." "It's just that I come from a big family myself, and it was kind of nice." "He thinks we should have another child." "What?" "Buon giorno, Papa." "I'm not Papa!" "I'm your damn father!" "Buon giorno, Mama." "She's your damn mother." "Did you win again?" "The victory, she was easy, but the promoter tells me that the Italians will be here soon." "I will race with the best..." "Italianos." "Like nightingales they sing." "Like eagles they fly." "Speaking of flies, you brought some in." "Fly in Italian is mosca." "In English it's "pest."" "Speaking of pests..." "Isn't this a lovely trophy?" "Oh, yeah." "So what?" "I lived 50 years, I never got a trophy." "You never got a trophy?" "Nope, never got one." "I give you this, numero uno, King Papa." "Don't do that." "I have to take a shower." "There's that "Ity" music again!" "I'm having this out with him now!" "§Abra m'figaro, abra m'figaro §" "§Abra bellissimo, hatte fortuna §" "§Hatte fortuna, hatte fortuna Leone cara... §" "What's the matter?" "He's shaving." "Well, so what?" "His legs." "He's shaving his legs." "§Figaro §" "§Fi §" "§ Garo §" "§Figaro, figaro, figaro, figaro §§" "Yoo-hoo." "Nancy!" "I was just on my way to work." "Come on in." "You know what?" "No." "What?" "I'm leaving home, that's what." "Where are you going?" "About fýve blocks south." "Oh." "I found this nice little place to rent." "It's so cute I could scream." "My folks said I could have some of their furniture." "All right!" "Maybe you could give me a hand... moving." "Oh, sure." "If I'm not too busy, you know?" "How's the job?" "You know what?" "Frank said if I keep up the good work, in time, I'll become head cashier." "That's great." "Well, I should go now." "Nancy." "Uh..." "I think I'll walk you to work." "I'm going out that way anyways." "It gets 30 miles to the gallon." "Of course, the mileage you get may vary." "It's a beaut, right?" "Right." "Boy, you sure know how to pick 'em." "Frankly, this is the best car on the lot." "Quality product." "Buon giorno, Papa!" "Come sta?" "Friend of yours?" "Aren't you glad we got fýred from the A  P?" "I mean, right now, we'd be working." "We didn't get fýred, Mike." "You got fýred." "We quit." "All for one and one for all." "You know, there ain't many places that will hire all four of us." " You know what I'd like to be?" " Smart." "A cartoon of some kind." "Wouldn't that be great?" "You know, when they get hit on the head with a frying pan and their head looks like the frying pan with the handle and everything?" "Then they go booooing!" "Their head comes back to normal." "Wouldn't that be great?" "How did you get to be so stupid, Cyril?" "I don't know." "Guess I have a dumb heredity." "What's your excuse, Michael?" "You hear from your folks, Mooch?" "Yeah, my dad called." "There's a lot more jobs in Chicago." "He hasn't gotten anything yet, though." "Wanted to know if the house was sold." "He could use the money something fýerce." "You can come live with me when it's sold." "In Italy, everybody lives together." "Since you won that Italian bike, man, you've been acting weird." "You're really getting to think you're Italian." "I wouldn't mind thinking I was somebody myself." "I think the door's stuck on that icebox." "I can't see him!" "Oh, yoo-hoo!" "It's got no back on it." "What the hell are they doing here?" "I've never seen anybody dive off from up there." "Hey, you bastards!" "Who's that?" "Hey, cutters!" "They got indoor and outdoor pools on campus, and they got to come here." "It's my goddamn quarry." "This hole, this quarry hole is mine!" "Hey, screw you, Cyril." "Come on, let's get out of here." "If they can come here, then we'll go to their campus." "Going to college must do something to girls' tits, I swear." "Just look at 'em." "Hi there!" "What's your major?" "Sure look like they've got it made." "That's because they're rich." "Italians are poor, but they're happy." "Yeah, maybe in Italy." "Whoa!" "Whoo!" "Hey, good one." "Go!" "All right!" "Here." "I wonder what it's like to kiss a coed." "Ha ha ha ha ha!" "Come on!" "Hey, that bastard's giving us the fýnger." "Hey, we're on their turf, Mike." "Come on!" "Dumb-ass cutters!" "Goddamn bastard-lickin' retards!" "Number 1, move!" "Hut!" "18!" "Hut!" "I thought I was a great quarterback in high school." "Still think so, too." "Can't even bring myself to light a cigarette because I keep thinking I got to stay in shape." "Know what really gets me?" "I got to live in this stinking town, and I got to read in the newspapers about some hotshot kid, new star of the college team." "Every year it's going to be a new one... and every year, it's never going to be me." "I'm just going to be Mike." "20-year-old Mike." "30-year-old Mike." "Old mean old man Mike." "These college kids will never get old or out of shape 'cause new ones come along every year." "They're going to keep calling us cutters." "To them, it's just a dirty word." "To me, it's just something else" "I never got a chance to be." "Quanto serra il pro- pro-pros-prossimo." "Mama Mia!" "Signorina!" "Signorina!" "Signorina!" "Signorina... signorina... you, uh... is yours, no?" "You mean you've been chasing me with this?" "Is nothing." "Niente, signorina." "Are you an exchange student or something?" "Si." "I am Italiano." "My name is Enrico Gimondi." "My name is Katherine Bennett." "Ah, Catherina." "Catherina." "Well, thanks again... again." "Bye." "Ciao." "Son of a bitch!" "All right, keep it steady!" "Keep your elbows bent!" "That's... that's right!" "Pick it up, Kath... 30!" "Hi." "What are you doing, Kathy?" "Goddamn it!" "I want an answer, Evelyn." "What are we going to do about him?" "I don't know, dear." "We could strangle him while he's asleep." "That's not funny, Evelyn." "Talk to him." "I'm afraid to talk to him." "I'm afraid to look at him." "I'm afraid his eyes would twirl like pinwheels." "I'm only giving you these because you promised to calm down." "Don't expect any more." "I can't eat with that noise on." "Evelyn, he's not even in his room." "Stop!" "What the hell are you doing?" "Them's my French fries!" "Oh, Mama!" "Evelyn!" "Oh, my God, what's the matter?" "Mio cuore." "My heart." "Oh, my heart!" "It's these damn French fries." "Hey, they're my damn French fries." "I have such a pain in my heart, Mama, Papa." "I'm in love." "Suzy says this guy sent you flowers." "So what?" "You never sent me flowers." "Who is he, Kath?" "Some crazy guy I met." "God, what's gotten into you?" "Buon giorno." "Mama!" "Mama, the Italians are coming!" "They're coming to race in Indianapolis!" "The team Cinzano!" "Oh, grazie, Dona do Santa Maria." "Oh, Dave, try not to become Catholic on us." "Grazie, signore." "Molto grazie!" "Faster." "Damn!" "Ahh." "Ah, there you are, Fellini." "Come sta, eh?" "Are you hungry?" "This is spicy meatballs here." "Mmm!" "Mangiare, eh?" "Hey, hey!" "Guess what." "The Italians are coming." "Guess what." "Mooch is going." "You've got to talk to him." "Where're you going, Mooch?" "He's getting a job." "So?" "So?" "He's getting a job!" "Campus street car wash." "Going to wait on college boys." "Don't forget to smile now if you want a tip." "I thought we were going to stick together, man." "I need a job, Mike." "Don't go, Mooch." "They only let you out on weekends and holidays." "See you later, Cyril." "Hey, don't forget to write." "Hey." "Take it easy." "Ciao." "You're a little late, but I guess you won't let that happen again." "Sorry." "Here's your sponge and rag, and there's your place." "And don't forget to punch the clock, shorty." "All right!" "Bravo!" "Yeah!" "Whoo!" "Way to go, Mooch!" "You know, them college boys ain't so smart." "I sold one of my worst cars to one of them today." "They ain't too smart." "It's a good thing that Dave never..." "What is this?" "It's, um... sauteed zucchini." "It's "Ity" food." "I don't want no "Ity" food." "It's not." "I got it at the A  P." "It's like, uh... squash." "I know "Ity" food when I hear it." "It's all them "ini" foods..." "Zucchini and linguini and fettuccine." "I want some American food, damn it!" "I want French fries!" "Oh, get off the table, Fellini!" "That's my cat!" "His name is Jake, not Fellini." "I won't have any "ini" in this house!" "Your name is Jake, you understand?" "Your parents asking what you're going to do?" "I think they're getting curious." "I sure miss playing basketball." "I got depressed as hell when my athlete's foot and jock itch went away." "So why did you give it up?" "Oh, I don't know." "Ah..." "I was sure I was going to get that scholarship." "My dad, of course, was sure that I wouldn't." "When I didn't, he was really understanding, you know?" "He loves to be understanding when I fail." ""That's O.K., Cyril." "I understand."" "He even bought me that guitar 'cause he was sure I'd never learn to play it." "I'm supposed to take this college entrance exam." "You're going to college?" "Hell, no!" "I just want to see if I can pass." "Huh." "Maybe I'll take it, too, and flunk it." "My dad's birthday's coming up." "Hey, now, look at this." "That's the place to be right there..." "Wyoming." "Nothing but prairies and mountains and nobody around." "All you need is a bedroll and a good horse." "Don't forget your toothbrush." "You're still in your cavity-prone years." "Hey, here's your brother." "I, uh, hear you've been hot-rodding around campus again." "I wasn't hot-rodding." "I'm going to have to take the car back if you keep it up." "All right." "All right, all right, all right." "All right." "How you doing, guys?" "Well, we're a little disturbed by developments in the Middle East, but other than that..." "Pussy cop." "Hey, I know what let's do." "Let's drive to Terre Haute tomorrow." "We ain't been out of this B-town in God knows how long." "That sounds like a good idea." "I'm, uh..." "I'm kind of busy tomorrow." "Yeah, that's right." "I'm kind of busy myself tomorrow." "Well, I just might go myself, then." "# Ah ah, la da" "That's it." "Cyril, that's it." "I recognize it." "Damn right." "But you got to play it much louder, O.K.?" "Don't worry." "I'll make this catgut meow." "# Ha ha ha" "Come on, just slow down." "Watch out for the hole!" "Ow!" "How about a little music?" "Catherina!" "Catherina!" "Catherina!" "Play it, Cyril!" "Oh, hi, Rod." "I was just wondering if you knew there was a guy over here serenading Kath." "Good night and thank you!" "Whoa!" "I have to go in." "I haven't ridden double since I was a little girl." "And I've never been serenaded." "So... it was a lovely evening." "Molto grazie." "Right?" "Buona notte, Catherina." "I'm fýne!" "He won't tell me who did it." "It was dark!" "I only know they all wore Brut aftershave and reeked of Lavoris." "Why were you there by yourself?" "I was just walking." "Well, what kind of car did they drive?" "It was a Mercedes convertible." "Was it blue?" "Yes." "I've seen that car." "They want a fýght, we'll give them a fýght." "We rednecks are few." "College paleface students are many." "I counsel peace." "Come on." "Let's go fýnd those bastards." "I have to go somewhere." "You haven't pledged any sorority?" "No." "You should." "Most frat guys won't date dormies." "I'm the exception." "So, you're on the swimming team, huh?" "Yep." "Breaststroke." "§Loosen it up §" "§Loosen it up... §§" "Is that him?" "I guess." "Who are they?" "A bunch of cutters." "What are cutters?" "Townies." "There it is." "There's his Mercedes." "Mike, I don't think we can go in there." "Oh, yeah?" "Watch this." "Shit." "Uh, due cappaccino." "Oh, that's the wrong guy." "A bunch of cutter kids." "There he is." "Hi there." "Would you like to roll some balls?" "Come on, Cyril!" "I can't get it out." "My fýnger's stuck." "My papa, he tells me," ""Figlio mio," ""we are fýshermen in our family" ""for as far back as I can see." ""You... you can do what you want." ""You go to America." "Say hello to the new world for me."" "My papa." "It's nice you miss your parents." "Certo, I miss." "Just like you miss your mama and papa." "I..." "I don't miss them." "I went as far as I could to get away from them." "They miss you." "At home, they sit, and they look at your photo, and they say," ""Ah, how we miss our Catherina, our bambina."" "You shouldn't smoke." "What's your major?" "Sosh." "Oh, sosh." "That's a nice major." "Would you mind if I..." "What are you cutters doing here?" "Did you get lost?" "No." "Then why don't you get lost now?" "Is that him?" "Uh... no." "No, I don't think it is." "Let's get out of here." "Smart move, shorty." "All right!" "Break it up!" "Oh, shit." "Break it up!" "We gotta go now." "Come on." "Cutters started it!" "Break it up, everybody." "Get out of there." "Move it!" "Let's go!" "Most of you will only spend four years here, but to a lot of us, Bloomington is our home." "I don't like how you've been behaving in my home." "If you feel compelled to compete with the kids from the town, you will do it in a different arena." "We're expanding this year's Little 500 bicycle race to include a team from the town." "But they're not good enough." "I don't want to be in the Little 500." "Oh, Christ." "I thought you'd jump at the chance." "I don't want to be seen with all those college kids." "That's the point!" "Don't you want to beat those shitheads in front of everybody?" "Doesn't it take four to have a team?" "Well, we got four..." "I mean, don't we?" "We all enter, Dave rides the whole thing, and we win!" "Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure." "Uh..." "Look, Mike..." "I'm going to be working that day, O.K.?" "Working?" "Yeah, I'm getting a job." "By yourself?" "Yeah!" "I need the money." "Thanks, Dave." "That's really great." "You're a real pal!" "You won't be working the day of the Italian race." "The time comes when we all have to go our own ways." "You're a real adult, aren't you?" "B- town boy grows up." "It's going to happen sometime." "Oh, yeah." "Is that what Nancy says?" "Just leave her out of this." "Shut up, would you?" "I wasn't talking to you." "Hey, well, I don't give a damn!" "You're not the quarterback here, Mike!" "At least I was once!" "Which is better than being a midget all my life!" "Cut it out!" "Just cut it out!" "Hey, bambino, che cosa?" "Just drop that Italian, all right?" "I'm really sick of that crap." "Oh, shit!" "You're just afraid of those college guys." "And you're not, right, Mike?" "The only thing I'm afraid of is wasting my life with you guys!" "I thought that was the whole plan, that we were going to waste our lives together." "What's he doing?" "That guy..." "Come on, Rod!" "Come on, Mike!" "Yay, Rod!" "Whoo!" "Come on, Rod!" "You can do it!" "Come on, Mike!" "Yay, Rod!" "Uhh!" "Mike!" "Mike!" "Hold on, Mike!" "I tried calling her to tell her, but I just couldn't." "She's going to see you in the 500, you know." "You know, if she really likes you, she just won't care." "Hey, uh, Dave, me and Nancy, we're going to get married." "Moocher, you're Catholic, aren't you?" "Yeah." "You ever go to confession?" "Twice." "Make you feel better?" "Once." "Hi." "Sorry I'm late." "You look nice." "Your hair looks great." "What do you think they're going to ask us?" "Nothing we can't answer, I suppose." "Wonder if I have to have a job to qualify." "I don't think so." "I think it's mostly blood and relatives that they're interested in." "Great." "I got both of them." "Oh, fudge!" "You know what?" "No." "What?" "I only brought $4.00." "Oh, well, it's only 5." "Tell you what." "We'll go Dutch." "On a marriage license?" "Sure." "Why not?" "Papa!" "Ciao, Papa!" "Aw, damn." "You know what I did?" "I mistakenly put premium gas in this baby." "It hates expensive gas." "Ohhh... oh..." "I should've hit him." "He'd be dead now." "No more worries." "I'll talk to him, dear." "I'll tell him to get a job or go to college." "College?" "So he can thumb his diploma at me?" "Dave never thumbed anything at anybody." "That's because he never went to college." "Besides, he's probably too stupid to get in." "Shhh!" "He'll hear you." "I don't care!" "It's my house." "Besides, he doesn't speak English anyway." "I'm sure he'll fýnd a job somewhere." "He couldn't fýnd a job to save his life." "He's worthless, Evelyn." "I die of shame every time I see him." "Goddamn..." "Shh!" "Lazy freeloader." "Hi, Alvin!" "Look who's here!" "Looks like the safety inspector." "Or a union organizer." "Duke, I thought you'd retired." "They won't let me retire." "Howdy, boys." "We could sign you up as an apprentice." "Like hell you can!" "I'm only here for a visit, but if I wanted to start over again," "I could pick up right where I left off." "How are you, Russell?" "Hi, Ray." "All right." "How are you?" "Pretty good." "Mind if I drive in a wedge?" "All right." "Hey, how's your son?" "He's fýne." "How 'bout yours?" "I'm just tired of it, Evelyn." "I'm tired of worrying about him." "Who'd ever hire a guy like that?" "He's going to wind up a bum..." "An Italian bum." "Well, you could use some help." "What if you gave him a job?" "I don't want him selling used cars." "Why not?" "It's good enough for you." "Who says it's good enough for me?" "You do." "Damn right it's good enough for me, but I don't need any help." "He'd ruin me if I hired him, a weirdo kid like that." "Hey!" "No whistling!" "You're supposed to be a shag boy, so shag." "If I wanted whistling, I'd get a bird." "How are you feeling?" "Tired, Papa." "Exhausted?" "Yeah." "Get used to it." "It's going to be more of the same." "Let's go home." "I have to train." "The Italian race is next week." "Pop, can I have this Saturday off?" "Hell, no." "Just this once, Papa." "The Italians are coming Saturday." "I don't care if the Second Coming's coming." "But I waited so long." "No!" "N- o-double-O." "No!" "Uh-oh." "You stay out of this." "Don't come in here with that." "It's sold." "You said there was a 90-day guarantee." "Guarantee?" "What guarantee?" "You gave me your word." "Have you got it on paper?" "There was no paper, but you gave me your word." "Word?" "I don't remember hearing any word." "Get this car off my lot!" "We have to take it back." "Who are you?" "We're poor, but we're honest." "All I want is a refund." "Refund?" "Refund?" "Are you crazy?" "Refund?" "Refund?" "Refund?" "Refund?" "Easy." "Easy." "Easy, Ray." "Refund?" "Refund." "Refund?" "I've ruined everything." "He needed a rest anyway, and now he's getting it." "I'm not going to the race." "I should be here when Papa wakes up." "Um... did I ever show you this?" "It's a passport." "It's quite cheap, you know." "A real bargain." "I carry this with me all the time." "Someday, there'll be a new girl at the A  P, and when I cash a check, she'll ask for identifýcation, and I'll take out my passport, and I'll say," "" Here!"" "Oh, Mama." "So you see," "I think you really should go." "I think you should come home... singing... with a trophy." "I think you should do all those things while you can." "I'll win this one for you, Mama." "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to today's Cinzano 100-mile road race." "Here they come to the starting line..." "Team Cinzano, ladies and gentlemen!" "Timers, if you are ready, we'll stand by for the start of the Cinzano 100." "Riders, ready!" "Timers, ready!" "The Cinzano 100 is underway, ladies and gentlemen." "The riders are starting off on a 100-mile journey." "Come on!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Buon giorno!" "Come'sta?" "Oggi e molto umido, non e vero?" "Niento vero." "Grazie!" "Grazie!" "Grazie!" "Che tempo fara piovera!" "Filare!" "Bravo!" "Bravo!" "I feel like one of those dwarfs, like, when they think that Snow White's dead." "Well, I guess you're a cutter again, huh?" "Just like the rest of us?" "I guess so." "Hey, cheer up, Dave." "You still got the 500." "Thanks a lot." "No, I don't feel lucky to be alive." "I feel lucky I'm not dead." "There's a difference." "Oh!" "What happened to you?" "Oh, it's nothing, Ma." "How do you feel, Dad?" "" Dad"?" "I'll tell you how I'm feeling, son." "I had nightmares all night that every customer I ever had came in to ask for a refund." "You were there handing out checks." ""One for you, one for you... "" "I'm sorry I gave him back his money." "I really am." "Everybody cheats." "I just didn't know." "Well, now you know." "Where's your trophy?" "Daddy!" "What's the matter?" "What are you crying for?" "It's not like you lost your wallet." "I didn't want you to be this miserable." "A little bit's all I asked for." "Come on now." "Talk to him, Evelyn." "What are you doing?" "Hi, Kathy." "What did you do to yourself?" "Oh, I liked you better before." "What happened to your cornocello?" "Now you look like everybody else." "I am everybody else." "I mean..." "Listen, Kathy..." "Catherina!" "I feel terrible." "You sound funny." "Che cosa, Enrico?" "Tell me." "Look..." "Kathy, I..." "My name is Dave Stohler." "I made all that other stuff up." "I was born in Bloomington." "I went to Bloomington high." "I was treasurer of the Latin Club..." "Stop kidding around." "I'm not kidding around!" "See..." "I'm what you call a cutter." "Oh, and Napoli?" "And the big family?" "Well, it was a good act." "You..." "You certainly fooled me." "You know what you are?" "I got a clue." "I'll tell you what you are." "Oh, God!" "You..." "Dave." "Yes, Dad?" "I cut the stone for this building." "You did?" "Yeah." "I was one fýne stonecutter." "Mike's dad, Moocher's, Cyril's... all of us." "Well, Cyril's dad... never mind." "Thing of it was, I loved it." "I was young and slim and strong." "I was damn proud of my work." "And the buildings went up." "When they were fýnished, the damnedest thing happened." "It was like... the buildings was too good for us." "Nobody told us that." "Just..." "Just felt uncomfortable, that's all." "Even now, I..." "I'd like to be able to stroll through the campus and look at the limestone, but I just feel out of place." "You guys still go swimming in the quarries?" "Sure." "All you got to show for my 20 years of work is the holes we left behind." "I don't mind." "I do." "Cyril's dad says he took that college exam." "We both took it." "How did both of us do?" "Well, I don't know." "One of us did O.K." "But neither... of us..." "Hell, I... don't want to go to college, Dad!" "To hell with them!" "I'm proud of being a cutter." "You're not a cutter." "I'm a cutter." "What, are you afraid?" "Yeah." "A little bit." "And then there's the rest of the guys." "Well, you took the exam." "Did all right, didn't you?" "Yes." "Well, that's..." "That's good." "Well, your mom..." "Your mom will be expecting us home." "Come on." "I'm supposed to ride this thing?" "Well, that's the offýcial issue." "You can't add or change anything." "Well, it's a piece of junk!" "Hey, it's got a lot of personality to it." "It doesn't look that bad to me." "That's 'cause you don't have to ride it." "You don't have to ride." "We're not going to beg you." "We'll plead, but never beg." "The hell with it!" "Get off, Cyril." "At least we got invited." "I'll just take it back." "You seem relieved, Mike." "Don't you think we can win anymore?" "Why not?" "Maybe those guys are better than us." "That's the fýrst time you ever said that!" "That's the fýrst time I ever felt that." "All right." "Hello." "What are you doing here?" "I'm leaving soon." "Where are you going?" "I got a job in Chicago." "Moocher's dad got a job in Chicago." "He's, uh..." "I'm going to Italy after all with my parents." "Great, Kath." "I wish you a nice trip." "You, too." "I'm not going anywhere." "I don't know about that." "Thank you." "You're welcome." "If you eat so much, how come you're small?" "Oh, it's my metabolism." "I eat three times a day." "My metabolism eats fýve times a day." "Well, I go back to work tomorrow." "You won't watch us race?" "He thought he might bring you bad luck." "Well, I just have work to do, that's all." "Besides, there might be another metabolism to feed here." "We might be a father?" "No, I might be a father." "Your mom might be a mother." "You might be a brother." "That way, I keep it all in the family." "I didn't think people your age..." "The next word may be your last." "You must be very happy." "Do I have any choice?" "You were going to give a pep talk." "They don't need pep." "I need pep." "Go on, give it to them." "Uh, we thought..." "As long as you're out there, you might as well tell them who you are." "Right." "Oh, wow!" "# Oh, say, can you see" "# By the dawn's early light" "# What so proudly we hailed" "# At the twilight's last gleaming?" "# Whose broad stripes and bright stars" "# Through the perilous fýght" "# O'er the ramparts we watched" "# Were so gallantly streaming" "# And the rocket's red glare" "# The bombs bursting in air" "# Gave proof through the night" "# That our flag was still there" "# Oh, say, does that" "# Star-spangled banner" "# Yet wave" "# O'er the land of the free" "# And the home of the brave" "Gentlemen, thank you very much." "I want to point out three flags you'll have to obey." "First, the green flag means the race is on." "The green flag means you are racing." "The yellow flag means there's been an accident or someone has a problem that will slow down the track." "Please follow your leader." "The third flag is the checkered flag." "This needs no explanation." "This is a 200-lap, 50-mile bicycle race." "It will consist of 33 4- man teams." "For the fýrst year, an out-of-town team has been invited to participate." "I'm sure they'll give their best effort." "The Cutters, ladies and gentlemen." "Any team members may exchange to another team member whenever they feel exhausted or in need of help." "Gentlemen... mount your Roadmaster bicycle." "# Indiana, our Indiana" "# Indiana, we're all for you" "# We will fýght for the cream and crimson" "# And the glory of old I.U. I.U.!" "# Never daunted, we'll never falter" "# In the battle, we're tried and true" "# Oh, Indiana, our Indiana" "# Indiana, we're all for you" "I.U.!" "# Indiana, our Indiana" "# Indiana, we're all for you" "# We will fýght for the cream and crimson" "# And the glory of old I.U. I.U.!" "# Never daunted, we'll never falter" "# In the battle, we're tried and true" "# Oh, Indiana, our Indiana" "# Indiana, we're all for you" "I.U.!" "# Indiana, we're all for you" "I.U.!" "They're on the starting line." "They're coming down!" "The green flag is up!" "The Little 500 is underway!" "And here they come, rounding the corner for the completion of the fýrst of 200 laps today." "So after 25 laps, two of the perennial favorites are up front..." "The Sigma Tau Omega team and the Acacia team." "I should point out what a remarkable job the Cutter team is doing." "They started in 34th position and are moving up through the field." "Oh..." "The Acacia team just signaled for an exchange." "The single rider is accelerating away, getting a lead so the receiver will not be behind when the pack comes by." "Beautiful exchange!" "The other team is exchanging right behind them." "Sigma Tau Omega team." "Another team is moving in on the outside." "It's team 34, the Cutter team." "He is fighting hard to take the lead." "He has taken the lead!" "Team 34 has succeeded in taking the lead from the last position." "What an incredible effort by the leader of this race." "Come on!" "You got him!" "The Delta Chis and the Acacia team." "The rider for the Cutters team..." "Dave Stohler..." "That's my boy!" "is pulling ahead even further..." "Pulling ahead!" "It's incredible what he's..." "Come on, Dave!" "He's turning in some terrific lap times here." "I don't happen to have a stopwatch, but..." "He won't last." "It's utterly amazing." "After 25 miles..." "that's 100 laps, folks... the rider for the Cutters is still out front." "He has yet to come in for an exchange." "We're number one!" "Someone's down." "There's an accident." "I can't see who." "Just a second." "It's Dave Stohler from the Cutter team." "He had a 3/4-lap lead." "I can't see if he's hurt." "He's getting back on the bike, but he's obviously in agony." "Come on, Dave!" "No way." "He wants off, man." "That's the signal." "He's coming in." "Here you go." "I don't want to race." "Get on the bike!" "It's ours now." "It's our race." "We got it." "Get going!" "No one is going." "The other riders are holding the bike." "Get out there, Mike!" "Get on the bike!" "The little guy's riding!" " You O.K.?" " What's the matter?" "What happened?" "As a result of that terrible exchange, the Cutter team has dropped from the lead." "The Sigma Tau Omega team has regained the lead." "The Cutter team has fallen into second position." "Another team has passed the Cutter team." "The Cutters are in third place and seem to be losing ground." "Well, Ev, he tried." "Even the announcer said he tried." "It's all over." "Help!" "Nice try, kid." "The lead team has just completed 170 laps." "There are 30 laps remaining." "Sigma Tau Omega looks unbeatable." "Many things can happen, as we've already seen." "Things can change like the wind." "Stay on this side." "Bring it in!" "Go, you Cutter, go!" "The Cutters now have a new man on the bike." "He's doing a good job." "He has moved the Cutters into fourth position." "He might make a serious challenge for third position." "We'll wait to see if this happens." "We're not doing too bad." "This once again points out the fact that this is a team effort." "One man may fall back, another may be exceptional..." "We showed them." "Showed them what?" "Come on, Mike!" "Bring it in!" "Come on!" "Stohler is on the bike, his teammates are taping his feet to the pedals." "This means he won't be able to exchange riders." "He must ride 15 laps by himself." "Pick it up!" "He's back in the race!" "He has dropped from fourth into sixth position." "There are only 15 laps remaining." "Go, son!" "Go, damn you!" "Stay behind him till the third turn." "The Cutters, team number 34, now in second place." "They have completed 198 laps." "198 laps!" "Still leading, Sigma Tau Omega, team number 1." "And here comes your leader through turn number four." "Coming down to take the white flag!" "One lap to go!" "It's a duel between Sigma Tau Omega and Cutters, teams number 1 and 34, as they battle out through the last lap." "Teams number 1 and 34 battling neck-and-neck as they come down the short stretch." "Half a lap to go." "They're going into turn number three." "Number 1, still leading." "34 coming up very close on the inside!" "They're going for the checkered flag!" "And 34 wins!" "And now, this is what you have been waiting for." "The winning team... from Bloomington, Indiana... the winner of the Little 500..." "The Cutters!" "Bye." "Pardon." "Do you know where is the Offýce of the Purser?" "You must mean the Bursar's Offýce." "Uh... oui, Bursar." "I was thinking of taking French, but it's my fýrst year." "Have you seen Le Tour de France?" "No." "No?" "Mon dieu!" "The French riders, they're the best!" "Hiya, big shot!" "Bonjour, Papa!"