"Previously on Grey's Anatomy.." "I slept with izzie." "George told me... everything." "You named me Ava, and I was more me as ava than I'll ever be as Rebecca." "Dr. Hahn,I was pleasantly surprised to hear you were joining us today." "You remind me of myself when I was an intern... focused,intense,cold." " My mother's dead,isn't she?" " Yes." "Let's do this once." "I'm fine." "She's cremated." "I picked out a beautiful urn,and she's hanging out in the back of my closet." "Any more questions about my dead mother,or can we get back to work?" "Pick me." "Choose me." "Love me." "You're the love of my life." "I can't leave you." "But you're constantly leaving me." "Imagine my disappointment when I wake up after five years and discover that you're no more than ordinary." "there's a reason surgeons learn to wield scalpels." "We like to pretend we're hard,cold scientists." "We like to pretend we're fearless." "Pick me." "Choose me." "Love me." "But the truth is,we become surgeons because somewhere,deep down, we think we can cut away that which haunts us... what are you guys doing up?" " Couldn't sleep." " Couldn't sleep." "Weakness,frailty... death." "what is that?" "My mother." "Happy freakin' halloween." "Yang... you're moving out of burke's place,huh?" "Yes,sir." "My wife has filed for divorce." "I'm very sorry,sir." "At any rate,I need a place to live." "And burke's place..." "I" " I was there once." "I suppose actually it's your place now,right?" "No,it's still burke's place." "Now it's yours." "what are we looking at?" "Meredith put her mom in a baggie and brought her to work." "I had to get her out of my closet." "She was haunting me." "And now she's haunting us all." " I'm putting her to rest." " Meredith is cleansing." "In tribal culture,when one wants to cleanse the past, one cuts off all of one's ha and buries it in the earth." "You might try that,too." "okay,listen up." "Today is a holiday,which means the pit will be overrun." "You've got the usual drunken stupidity... and then you've got seattle's annual chain saw pumpkin carving contest." "I love this city." "Stay on your toes,stay on top of your interns,okay?" "So we should round before heading to the pit or... yeah,you should direct your questions to dr." "Bailey,stevens." "oh,we're directing our questions to dr." "Bailey?" "Oh,not you." "Just stevens." "why is stevens directing her questions to dr." "Bailey?" "Because she's been sleeping with my husband." "All righty,then." "Have a good day." "Okay,this is even more disturbing than your bagful of mommy." "His medication was due half an hour ago." "I mean,the man is living in the hospital while he waits on a heart." "Erin,honey." "I'm thinking it's kinda hard for anyone to take you seriously in your mouse costume." "See,I work with 5 year olds,dad." "My costume is appropriate." "Hers is not." "Look,I'm..." "I'm just ying, if you have time for halloween costumes, you probably have time to provide my father with basic care." "Hi,I'm dr." "O'malley." "We'll take care of your father right away." "Thank you." "you should always make sure they have their meds before you do anything else." " Okay." " Thanks." "I like your costume." "Oh,well,dr." "Yang said that we c..." "Yang... is screwing with you." "Oh,I knew i *** are you the doctor?" " Oh,I am." " Good." "That's... that's good." "is your leg hurting you?" "It's... it's not the leg." "It's the foot." "And... and it's nohurting so much as... as it's not mine." "Something happened." "I-I can't explain it." "But this... this foot does not belong to me." "It... it'S... it... it... it feels like it's a corpse foot." "Oh,did you lose feeling in the foot?" "Is it numb?" "No,it's... it's not numb." "It's just... it's not mine." "Please,I'm... i'm not crazy." "I" " I work at a bank." "I'm not crazy." "Please." "I just..." "I-I need a surgeon." "I need you to get me a surgeon who will remove it." "A surgeon who will remove your foot?" "A surgeon who will amputate your seemingly healthy foot?" "oh!" "What is that?" " It's charts." " Meredith." " It's my mom." " What?" "I had her in the cubby,and she was freaking people out." "So I was just gonna go put her in the car." "Do you think that's disrespectful,to leave her in the car?" "It's a little..." " it's not that strange." " Oh." "I'm trying to figure out how to put her to rest." "I can't shove her in the back of my closet anymore." "I have to deal with her." " Well..." " and this is me trying to evolve." "I'm trying here." "So... cubby or car?" "You're asking me if I think you should put your mom's ashes in your cubby or your car?" "Okay,and you don't think that's very,very strange?" "are those really your mom's ashes?" "It's strange,right?" "It's strange." "Are you lost?" "No,my mom works in the cafeteria." "And she said I could come up here and look for dr." "Sloan." "Do you know him?" " Um,can you take care of him?" " Yeah." "Can you... take care of her?" "Good morning." "Don't do that." "Don't smile at me." "Don't smile at her." "Don't smile at me,either." " We're on to you." " We've compared notes." " Compared notes?" "Really?" " Mm-hmm." "Compared notes,compared pickup lines compared techniques." "Techniques?" " Identical." " Identical." "Identical?" " We formed a club." " Nurses unite against mark sloan." "Are there any,uh,club activities?" "Oh,man." "You would not believe what just happened to me." " There's a,uh,kid looking for you." " What?" "Daddy?" "What?" " nicely done." " Thanks." " I'll be getting you back for that." " Looking forward to it." "You're not my father." "But I am hoping you'll build me some ears." "Dr. Karev,request for you." "Curtain three." "Dr. Karev,I'm feeling a little under the weather." "And... and rather than risk spreading germs to the patients," "I thought I would head home for the day." "Norman,do you want to be a surgeon or do you want to go to bed?" "Because it's one or the other." "Surgeons stand up through 10-,12-,15-hour surgeries without food, without bathroom breaks without complaints." "Surgeons do not go home because we have a tickle in our throat." "Well,it's not a tickle in my throat as much as..." " make yourself busy,norman." " Right." "All the moms in my town, they all dress up for halloween." "So I was thinking,what would I want to be if... if I had to dress up or what I... and the only thing I could come up with,the only thing that I wanted to be... was ava." "Greys." "Anatomy Season4 Episode 5 Haunt You Every Day" "You found him." "You two know each other?" "You know his parents?" "His mom works in the cafeteria." "What's all this?" "It's letters from the kids in my class." "Letters to me." "He has the internal structure to hear, he just doesn't have a canal or external structure." "So I thought if I came in with my letters, dr." "Sloan might feel sorry for me and do the surgery for free." "Uh,look,I'd like to help,I would if I could, but pro bono surgery... you should probably know that on my way here this morning, three different people thought I was in a costume." "My head looks like a permanent halloween costume." "Just thought you should know that." "You're good." "Pro bono surgery is not just about me giving you my time." "A surgery like this requires O.R.Time, an anesthesiologist,a general surgeon to remove the cartilage from your ribs, at least two surgical nurses." "Couldn't you ask them for help?" "I could,but I don't have any social capital." "The nurses hate me." "They've formed a club that's all about hating me." "And the other doctors don't owe me any favors 'cause ie never done any for them." "I'm sorry." "I wish I could help." "I would if I could." "I have social capital." "Or I don'T." "Nobody knows me, but they knew my mother." "So maybe I can make this happen." "Fine,make it happen." "You manage that," "I'm all yours." "These people who knew your mother, do they know you brought her to work in a baggie?" "Oh,you... you didn't come for me." "You... you chickened out." "When I... when I was leaving,when I was... when I asked you to give me a reason to stay, you chickened out,which I-I get." "I get that." "It was a lot." "It was scary,and I-I know I can be kinda intense, but I thought..." "I thought... oh!" "I thought after the... the chickening out part,I thought... you would come for me." "I came back for you,which basically... makes me a beggar." "I'm a beggar for halloween." "And now you're mocking me." "I'm not mocking you." "We need... to talk." "We will." "Body dysmorphic disorder?" "You can prescribe him some anti-anxiety meds to try to lessen the urgency he's feeling." "The man is requesting an amputation, and the best you can come up with is antianxiety meds?" "Dr. Bailey." "Chain saw contest time?" "Yep." "Mr. Miller." "I have to get to the E.R." "But I'm gonna write you a prescription for some medication I think may help you." "Medication?" "I need..." "I-I need a surgeon." "A surgeon can take off the foot." "Get me a surgeon!" "I am a surgeon,and I can tell you right now that you won't persuade me or any other surgeon to do what you're asking." "Please try this medication." " I have an earless boy." " I'm sorry?" "Sloan has agreed to build him ears pro bono if you will donate the O.R." " And all the equipment..." " I'm sorry,grey." "My pro bono slate is full." "There are protocols to be followed,all sorts.." " of red tape." " trick or treat." "Get it?" "He's trick-or-treating... for ears." "Grey... you know,my mother,she was big on pro bono surgeries." "O.R.2 is free at 6:00 P.M." "Thank you." "if you two need to talk,I could wait over there." "Why?" "It's not like we have any secrets anymore." "Callie told everyone." " Everyone." " Yeah,it's gonna be a long day." "erin shanley,34,massive head trauma when a brick came through her windshield." "G.C.S. Of 3 in the field." "A brick came through her windshield?" "Damn kids were screwing around on a bridge,halloween crap." "I'm looking at brain matter here." "I checked." "She's a donor." "Oh,my god." "What?" "her father's on three." "He's waiting for a new heart." "It was awesome." "It was the sickest pumpkin head you ever saw." "And then the next thing you know,it's,like,blood gushing, and it totally stained my pumpkin head." " You don't say?" " Made it even sicker,though." "I brought it in... the digit." "Oh,you have the finger?" "Yeah,but it's,like,lodged in the chain saw." "Wait." "It was right here." " Who took my saw?" " What..." " Sir,the cut isn't clean enough to consider re..." " yo,who took my saw?" "oh... oh,no." " What is that noise?" " I have no idea." "aah!" "Aah!" "Sick!" "The tibial nerve is shot." "There's nothing salvageable here." "Completely mangled." "I can't believe he held that saw to his leg long enough... was he high?" "No,I just gave him some morphine for the pain, but the tox screen was clean before that." "Unbelievable." "All right,I'll finish the job." "Yang,go ahead and prep him for complete amputation." "Thank you." "Thank you so much." "Hey,you okay?" "Oh,severed limbs don't sit well with me." "Just a little queasy is all." "But I'm fine." "I'll help dr." "Yang." "Okay." "gottlove halloween... when all the crazies come out to play." "Mm,I kind of get it." "I mean,I get that you can wake up one day, and your life doesn't feel le your own." "I heard... about your marriage." "And if there's anything you need me to do to cheer you up,I'm around,day or night... night in particular." "I was married." "I said "till death do us part," okay?" "In a church." "I mean,it was the church of elvis,but still it was a church." "I just..." "I can't believe this is my life." "I don't understand." "How did this happen?" "How could this happen?" "injuries like these happen very quickly." "She probably didn't feel any pain at all." "M- mr." "Shanley." "According to erin's driver's license... she was an organ donor." "And as next of kin, if you agree to take her off of life support," "you could direct the heart to yourself." "She is young,she was healthy." "She would be a perfect match for you,sir." "Could you just please go away?" " Mr. Shanley,if you would just..." " please,please go away." "Please." "Dr. O'malley will bring you to see your daughter if you like." " oh!" " Oh,so sorry." " Excuse me." "Oh,no,no." " You okay?" " No apology necessary." " Okay." " I'm sydney,by the way." "Dr. Sydney heron." "General surgery." "Big fan of your work." "Yeah." "Uh,we were seated together once at an mM." "Anyway,uh,now seems as good a time as any to make it official... our introduction." "Ah,derek shepherd." "Pleasure." "It's,uh,it's very,very nice to meet you." "Nice meeting you,too." "yothink she's pretty?" "Yeah." "I like cheerful people." "I can be cheerful." "I think the ashes thing makes that kinda unlikely." "Dr. Bailey, we're gonna help,uh,rebuild a little boy's ears today,pro bono." "And I thought maybe you could donate some time." "Uh,thanks to the fine, upstanding citizen who cut off his foot on my watch," "I've got a mountain of paperwork." "On top of that,I promised to try and get out here in time to see my son in his halloween costume." "Is tuck even old enough to know what halloween is?" "He's not, but his father is,and that's who I promised." "Trick or treat." "For ears?" " He's trick-or-treating for ears?" " Yeah." "Could you also persuade some of the surgical nurses to help out?" "They seem to really like you." " Trick or treat." " Uh,stop that." "All right,I'm in." "she's warm." "It doesn't make sense." "I'm - 'm sorry." "She's breathing with the help of machines." "Erin... the person that you knew... isn't there anymore." "Uh... would you bring the paperwork?" "You can have her... have her... her organs." "That's what she wanted." "And her heart?" "Give it to someone else." "We could scatter her off the roof." "She was afraid of heights." "They're ashes,meredith." "The ashes aren't acrophobic." "I need to put my mother to rest." "I need to not become her." "I need to not die emotionally crippled and alone." "And I need to not attend the wedding of derek shepherd and sydney heron." "I need to put my mother to rest." "Sydney heron?" "just ask." "So you two are together?" "Yeah." "Like "together" together,in love together?" "Sexy love,not sibling love?" "Yes." "Yeah." "We're together." "And... you two have been..." "I mean,without any of us knowing..." "doing this the whole time?" " Just once." " Iz." "I said she could ask questions." "Just once." "And now we're waiting to... be together... out of respect." "For callie's feelings." " she's not judging." " Right." "I have an earless boy waiting for me." "but..." "I'm happy for you guys." "norman." "Do you have to go?" "No." "Norman can get by for a few more minutes without me." "How are you?" "I mean,how have you been?" "I'm in love with my daughter." "She's perfect." "She's..." "I mean,she sucks on her fingers." "It's her new thing." "And she makes,like,this perfect little cartoon suckling sound." "And your husband?" "My husband's in love with my daughter,too." "You look tired." "I haven't been sleeping much." "I haven't been sleeping much either." "The baby wakes up all the time." "Not as much now that I figured out that if wrap her in whatever shirt I'm wearing..." "She smells you." "And she sleeps." "Alex... what are we doing?" "I mean,what are..." "what are we gonna do?" "dr." "Hahn." "Thank you for coming at such short notice." "Oh,not a problem." "Are we harvesting the heart for U.N.O.S." "Or is the recipient here?" "I'm hoping the recipient is here, but he hasn't agreed yet." "I've never had much trouble talking a heart patient into taking a heart." "It's his daughter's heart." "Okay." " Get him to O.R.Two and page torres." "Okay." "Where are you going?" " his daughter was in an auto accident." "Hey,uh,what's hahn doing here?" " She's been declared brain dead..." "heart transplant." "Don't even think about it." "It's my patient." "Dr. Hahn,I understand you're doing a heart transplant today, and I thought I'd volunteer to scrub in." "Isobel stevens." "She's my patient,the donor." "So if you need any information, I have it,all of it." "She's... she's my patient." "You've got some eager junior residents around here." "Mm,lucky me." "Take your pick." "Well,yang,I appreciate the offer, but I date men." "So I don't think you'll be able to impress me the way you've impressed your mentors in the past." "I... what?" "You sleep with them,right?" "Preston burke, colin marlowe... that's your thing." "It's my... it's..." "I'm..." "I'm sorry." "What does that have to do with anything?" "My theory is if you had the chops in the O.R." "You wouldn't need to try to impress in the bedroom." "Stevens,is it?" "It is." "Let's go,stevens." "You know,I bust my ass here, and burke skips town with my cardio reputation." "So now instead of a heart transplant, oh,I get to participate in the amputation of a crazy man's foot." "I'm not... crazy." "Cutting off your foot is crazy." "Walking through your life like you have noower, like you have no say..." "no say in your own destiny... like you have no control over your own body, walking through life like that is what's crazy." "I still think it's cutting off your foot with a chain saw that's crazy." "Mr. Shanley, I'm dr." "Hahn." "The transplant team is in place if you're ready to say good-bye." "You must not have children." "I'm sorry?" "If you had children,you'd never say that." "You'd never say, if you're ready to say good-bye." "Mr. Shanley,I'm very sorry, but I want to suggest one last time... no,I am not taking her heart." "I can't have my daughter's heart beating in my chest." "It would haunt me every day of my life." "No!" "All right." "I'm very sorry for your loss." "Page me when he's ready." "Mr. Shanley..." "I don't have kids, so I don't know what it's like to lose a child, but I do know what it's like to lose a parent." "Your daughter loved you." "I saw her this morning." "She was fighting for you." "She was fighting for your life." "You're her dad." "You're her dad." "She didn't want to leave you." "I know that." "I also know that she would want you to have her heart." "I would've given my dad my heart if I could." "If I could've saved him..." "I would've given him my heart." "All right." " It's not my fault hahn chose me." "Whatever." "I can't believe that you are judging me." "That after what hahn said to you, that you are judging me." "It's not the same thing." "It is the same thing." "It's exactly the same thing." "I'm sorry that I hurt callie." "I didn't mean to hurt her." "You slept with her husband." "I slept with my boyfriend." "It's not the same thing." "Meredith slept with another woman's husband." "Meredith slept with another woman's husband." "The two of you are like this closecircle." "You can commit whatever crime you want, and in your little circle, it's all fine." "I..." "I know that you didn't sleep with burke to get ahead." "And if hahn had asked me, I would've defended you." "I'm not even asking you to defend me." "I'm asking you to just cut me an inch of slack." "And believe me when I say that I am sorry I hurt callie." "We are not a closed circle." "you are." " Dr. Shepherd." "Yes." "Here's a question... were there actual shepherds in your lineage?" "I'm sorry." "What?" "You know,shepherds." "The ones who watch over sheep." "I mean the geneology My name for example, not actually after the bird" "You know,I..." "I'm sorry." " Would you excuse me?" "Of course." "Okay,thank you." "yeah,you did this." "Payback's a bitch." "Oh,man." "What the hell did you tell her?" "I put the word out that you were lookin'." "That I'm looking?" "Lookin'." "It sounds way dirtier without the G."" "And you wonder why they formed a club?" "You heard about that?" "Okay,so we have one plastic surgeon ,a general surgeon, an anesthesiologist, one,two,three scrub nurses and an O.R." "Let's call your mom,kid." "You're gonna get some ears." "He cut off his foot." "He cut off his perfectly good foot." "Well,people do some very strange things." "Oh,well." "I had the world's shortest marriage." "I was left in a church while I was literally wearing a wedding dress." "george cheated on me right in front of me,and I missed it." "burke sent his mother to say good-bye to me." "I'm gonna be a divorc." "Now erica hahn thinks I'm a fraud." "I'm,uh,I'm not feeling very... norman!" "Norman?" "oh,crap." "What?" "My intern,something happened." "I don't know what." "We need to talk." "Well,we will." "I'll come back." "Okay?" "Okay." "Don't chicken out." "You know,I'm impressed." "I didn't think you'd pull this off." "I'm actually pretty surprised myself, considering it was my first time trick-or-treating." "Your first time?" "My mom never made it home in time to take me, never got it together to make me a costume." "Plus she said it was rude to knock on people's doors and beg for food." "What?" "Just... the apple fell pretty far from the tree,huh?" "Dr. Karev,you want to slow down?" "I just heard." " Did he have a stroke?" "He did." "3 inches to the left, he'd never talk again." "Yeah,but it's gonna be okay,right?" "No way to know till we get the clot out and he wakes up." "But he... but he's gonna be okay... karev,stop talking." "Is your marriage really over?" " I'm sorry." "Thanks." "Did meredith really bring her mom's ashes to work?" "Look at that." "Not a bad day's work." "paddles." "Let's see what we've got." "there it is." "The it is." "Norman" "Norman,come on, come on,come on." "What happened?" "I just saw a heart transplant." "I just helped build a little boy some ears." "That's cool." "I dug up my mom's cat." "What?" "My mom didn't leave any instructions 'cause it was so... unexpected." "So... we had to figure out on our own what she would have wanted." "And my mom loved that cat." "So..." "I dug her up... the cat... um,from her little grave in our backyard." "And I snuck into the cemetery in the middle of the night and reburied her right beside my mom." "And... it was creepy and morbid, carrying around a dead, decaying cat in the cemetery in the middle of the night,but... it made my mom really happy." "At least..." "I like to think it did." "Thanks." "You're welcome." "Look,tucker,I said I'm sorry." "No." "I didn'T... no,I... tucker... perfect." "Hi." "We just put a man's daughter's heart in his chest." "His daughter's heart?" "Well, that just makes you want to throw up,now doesn't it?" "You all right?" "You're dr." "Bailey." "You hear everything." "And if you haven't heard everything,I'm sure you've heard." "About your marriage?" "Yeah,I probably would've." "I'm sorry... if I... disappointed you." "I'm not your mother,o'malley." "I have to apologize to her now,too." "o'malley." "look,you're not a bad guy." "And I don't mean to let you off the hook entirely, because what you did was unkind and hurtful and wrong." "But you're not a bad guy." "I'm..." "I'm just saying,it... it takes two." "To reach the point you reached in your marriage,it takes two." "I mean..." "I mean,I'm here late at night, halloween, helping an earless boy get ears, and my husband wants to act like that isn't an important thing." "He wants to act like... it isn't a good thing that I did today." "Now that isn't just on me." "That's him wanting things to be the way he wants." "That's him wanting things to be purely black-and-white." "I mean,I missed my son's first halloween, and my heart is aching inside of my chest,but, you know,that doesn't mean anything." "It... it doesn't count because in a black-and-white world," "I simply didn't make it home, and that makes me the bad guy." "You know,always." "I'm always the bad guy." "You hear what I'm saying?" "Sorry you missed your son's first halloween." "Look,what I'm saying to you is... okay,I was there." "All right?" "I was there the day your father died." "I was there when you came back from vegas,married after a week and... all I'm saying is... it's not black-and-white... and you're not a bad guy." "I did not sleep my way to the top." "I'm attracted to a talent that resembles my own,not that it's any of your business." "Your comments were unprofessional and inappropriate." "You know what?" "You're inappropriate and unprofessional." "this is gonna be so much fun." "Dr. Yang,did you hear?" "Dr. Hahn has agreed to become our new head of cardiothoracic surgery." "Lookin' forward to it,dr." "Yang." "You can't have my apartment." "I'M... sorry I didn't listen when you said you weren't feeling well." "I'm sorry I didn't answer your page." "Do you know why I chose surgery?" "No." "I'm a little south of 60 and blood makes me squeamish." "See,I wanted to go into psych because I like to talk." "I've noticed that." "but I had this voice in my head telling me to choose surry." "It was as if... my mary beth was whispering in my ear." "And so I listened." "And do you know what I think now?" "No." "I think I was about to have a massive stroke... and my mary beth wanted me to be surrounded by... world-class surgeons when it happened." "So what are you gonna do now?" "Uh,well,I'm gonna go into psych." "Because you people,you surgeons,my god... you're all just a bunch of little children running around with your scalpels and your severed feet and your inappropriate sex in inappropriate places." "You all need a good shrink." "Dr. Grey?" "Hi." "I had a goldfish,and when he died, we flushed him down the toilet, back to the sea." "Okay." "back to the sea is better than your cubby." "you okay?" "I don't know if I can handle one more night in that hotel." "What's the matter with you?" "I have to start dating." "It isn't just surgeons." "The truth is,I don't know anyone who isn't haunted by something... or someone." "And whether we try to slice the pain away with a scalpel or shove it in the back of a closet, our efforts usually fail." "We made it through this day." "Yeah,we did." "We made it through this day." "So the only way we can clear out the cobwebs is to turn a new page... uh,so it's the kitchen,uh,bedroom,bathroom." "There's the sofa." "You can sleep here." "Great." "So,uh... do you mind if i clean up a little?" "Yes." "I mind a lot." "Or put an old story to rest... grey." "Chief." "What are you doing,grey?" "This is a sterile environment." "It's my mother." "And I think this is where she'd want to be." "Should we say a prayer?" "She didn't believe in anything." "Finally,finally to rest." "Ashes to ashes." "Dust to dust." "Grey's Anatomy Season 4 Episode 5"