"I couldn't sleep." "And I kept trying to tell myself that it was from something other than Sam, but I mean, come on." "How can I ignore the fact that my bed is half empty?" "It's like this... space that I can't... occupy." "You know, it's his space." "It's Sam's space." "He belongs there." "Anyway, okay, so I'm up..." "Flipping around through the channels, and I came across this documentary." "What about?" "The history of shin-kicking." "I had no idea that this existed as a sport." "I mean, for 400 years, men have been kicking each other in the shins, like, professionally." "What was so captivating about it?" "I don't know." "I..." "I..." "I couldn't sleep." "♪ ..." "Gray and black and white ♪" "♪ now she's gone, I won't cry ♪" "♪ guess I'll have to get by ♪" "♪ without the rest of ♪" "♪ the best things in life ♪" "You, uh, you all right there?" "Yeah." "No." "Sam and I broke up." "What?" "I lost my boyfriend and my baby in one day." "And I-I haven't been sleeping much." "I'm sorry about you and Sam, really." "Um, but you didn't lose your baby." "Someone else got theirs." "You'll-- you'll get yours." "I mean, adoption's always on the table." "Well, I'm not really interested in being picked over again." "Well, there's always surrogacy." "I can get you a great donor egg and a healthy surrogate." "Just..." "I'm tired." "All right." "I know it's hard to think about now, but you do have options." "Why not surrogacy?" "You get your baby, and someone else's boobs take the hit." "Because..." "I've already... jumped through a thousand hoops." "I don't think I could make it through a thousand more." "All right, tell me something..." "To get my mind off this." "Well..." "I'm staying sober." "I don't miss Ryan any less, but I'm sober." "He'd be proud of you." "I'm proud of you." "I overslept." "I turned your alarm off." "Thanks." "Why?" "You think I didn't hear you two giggling with the tv on past midnight?" "The Cartoon Channel was playing a Pokemon marathon that Mason had never seen before." "It was..." ""Pokemon, The Rise Of Darkrai."" "You had no business keeping that boy up so late." "He is off from school today." "You are not." "Where's Mason?" "He's in your office." "Did he eat?" "Yep." "I can crack an egg." "Just" " He's nervous about his spelling bee this week." " I promised him" " I quizzed him on the way in." "His toothbrush looked a little ragged, so we stopped off and got him a new one." "Erica will be by in a little bit to pick him up." "Don't get used to it." "My partner and I were following a car that had just been involved in an armed robbery." "And all of a sudden, the guy ditches it and takes off." "So I went." "I cornered him, I drew my weapon, and he made a move for his waistband." "I saw a flash." "I reacted, I shot, and I killed him." "And it turned out he was unarmed, right?" "Yeah, but the guy had just robbed a gas station..." "With a gun, you know?" "So I assumed that" "Of course, of course." "And now how do you feel?" "Like I followed protocol." "That's not exactly what I'm asking." "What I'm asking is how you feel about what happened." "Look, what I did..." "It's part of the job." "No, having to discharge your weapon isn't usually part of the job." "Are you sleeping at night?" "You know, I-I appreciate Joe, you know, sending me to somebody that he trusts." "But, um, I just-- I want to get back to work." "Well, it's tricky, getting back to work after something like this." "It can also put a lot of stress on your home life." "How are things there?" "Hey..." "You want me to say that my-- my home life sucks because nobody else gets me except other cops?" "I want to know how you're handling it all." "Mm-hmm." "In my job..." "I see things" "Things that, um..." "I can't describe them..." "To my wife." "And when I get home..." "Sometimes, they're still in my head." "And you can't talk to anyone at work about this either." "You're not the first cop I've dealt with, okay?" "I know what it's like." "So... you can talk to me." "How you guys doing in here?" "Yeah, could you give us a couple of minutes?" "I'd love to, Shelley, but I'm on the clock and I gotta get this kid home, so let's go." "Thanks, doc, really." "Yeah." "Aaron and I were just starting to make some progress." "Well, I appreciate you stepping up here, Shelley." "These in-house counselors, they're looking to cover their own asses." "I'm just not sure he's ready to go back." "You don't get over what he did in a week." "He did his job." "No, he killed someone in the course of doing his job." "It's-- it's not the same thing." "Look, a cop shoots an unarmed kid, everyone starts asking questions." "I'm less worried about how it looks than about where his head's at." "Well, if you say so, Shelley," "I'll make sure he sees a therapist." "Heck, I'll even drive him down here once a week, after we restore him to active duty." "This IA investigation hasn't wrapped, and, uh, they catch wind of you not signing off on this kid right away..." "You get my drift?" "I think so." "You want me to say it's all right for him to go back to work even though I'm not comfortable with it." "I want you to help the kid out." "Dragon." "D-r-a-g-o-n." "Dragon." "On fire." "Okay, Coop." "Retrieval." "Okay, retrieval." "R-e-t-r..." "E-e" "Come on." "Retrieval." "R-e-t-r-i-e-v-a-l." "The new and undisputed spelling champion of the kitchen is Mason." "Milkshakes before noon." "It's a special flavor Cooper made." "Uh, marshmallow cream, caramel syrup" "Unh-unh." "Secret recipe." "Secret recipe." "You gotta try it." "Mm-hmm." "It's sweet." "It's delicious." "Delicious." "D-e-l-i-s-h-o-o-s-h" "Oh, gosh!" "Whoa." "I'm so sorry." "Ahh." "Are you okay, mom?" "Well, looks like she will keep her finger, but..." "Your mom might need stitches." "Stitches." "S-t-i..." "T-c-h-e-s." "Stitches." "I'll do it." "You guys clean up." "Wow." "Sam wouldn't even smile at me this morning." "I saw him draw his shades the other day, all of them." "Well, your lives are very intertwined." "It-- it's bound to be unpleasant." "Ugh." "I just wish I was sleeping." "You know, when Pete first left, I wasn't sleeping, and then I started sleeping sideways." "I don't know." "It was oddly comforting." "What do you do when the one person who can make you feel better is the one person who won't talk to you?" "Hell if I know." "Ah." " Go to hell!" " That must be my patient." " You can all go to hell!" " Right." "You're in the hospital Mr. Bauer." "We're gonna take care of you." "Go to hell!" "All of you, go to hell!" "I am not supposed to be here!" "I have things" " We found him on Ocean Avenue." " I have important people..." "He was yelling at a fire hydrant." "I am supposed to be meeting," " and people are waiting to listen..." " Hey, hey, hey." " To what I have to say." " That's okay." "That's enough." " It's okay." "Let him go." " I have appointments!" "Hey, Mr. Bauer, Mr. Bauer, sounds like you're having a hard day." "I have a knife." "I have two knives, and I-I will stab every person in here who's looking at me right now." "I will stab you." "Mr. Bauer, you should know better than to talk that way." "You're scaring everybody." "What would your mother say if she heard you talking that way?" "Can I get 10 milligrams of haloperidol, please?" "Don't-- Don't you come near me." "Don't any of you come near me." "I am the only one that's gonna come near you, because I want to help you." "Okay?" "I know it's frustrating." "I know it's very confusing being in here, but I'm gonna give you some medicine, and you're gonna feel much better soon, okay?" "Everybody else is going back to work." "Here it is." "Can you do that yourself?" "There you go." "Good." "There you go." "Thank you." "Thank you." "Good job." "You're gonna feel much better soon." "Good job." "Any weakness in your hand before today?" "It's just an old habit." "It's like a tick I picked up in middle school." "And the glass?" "It seemed like you couldn't grip it." "It was just wet." "It just slipped." "Have you been having any headaches, dizziness?" "I'm a single mom." "I work 50 hours a week." "I get headaches." "I'd be happy to check you out." "I appreciate it, but I..." "You know, I have my own doctor." "Who has probably never given you a complete neuro workup." "You know, we could get you over to St. Ambrose." "I could give you an MRI." "It would take an hour or two, tops." "I don't really have an hour." "You just never know with these kind of" "Look, I know it's what you do, but I just don't like being poked and prodded." "Well, I didn't mean it like that." "No, it's cool." "Just let it go." "Okay?" "Done." "Great." "Thank you." "Hi." "Dr. Turner?" "Hello." "I'm Scott Becker." "I'm the paramedic who brought in the guy you talked down yesterday." "Oh, yeah." "Hi." "Hi." "What you did for him, that was" " That was really impressive." " Thank you." "Yeah, I see a lot of doctors here, but what y-you did was, um..." "You're different." "I'm starting to sound ridiculous, so I was wondering if you'd be interested in going out with me sometime." "That's very sweet." "That was a tiny bit patronizing." "Still, once you say yes," "I guarantee you'll have a good time." "I-I am sure you're great." "This is just not the, uh, the best time for me right now." "But, um, but thank you, really." "Oh, hey, fellas." "Hey, Sam." "I, uh, heard about you and Addison." "I'm sorry, man." " Yeah." " You guys..." "We broke up." "Oh, man." "You okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine." "I'm fine." "It was amicable, adult, made sense." "I had a dream last night that I ran her over, flattened her, like in a cartoon." "That's adult." "You know, adult break-ups are myths perpetrated by women so they can have their cake and eat it, too." "The mature way to do things is just..." "Untangle and move on." "Good luck selling your house and finding a new job." "I've done this before, okay, with Naomi." "She's my ex-wife." "She used to work here." "How'd that work?" "He got involved with her best friend." " Who, Addison?" " Mm-hmm." "Oh, man." "You are a glutton for punishment." "The thing is, we broke up over a baby that doesn't even exist." "Is she even gonna have one?" "Mnh-mnh." "You better ask her." "Hey, hey, come on." "Right now, this is a baby-free, estrogen-free zone." "Look, I spent the whole weekend just sitting around, sitting around." "We need to go out." "Let's-- let's go out." "That's not a bad idea." "Have some drinks." "Right, some drinks?" "All right, I won't talk about Violet, you don't talk about Addison, you don't talk about babies." "Done." "Done." "All right." "Bring it in." "I guess I'm just a little bit excited." "Look, maybe the glass did just slip out of Erica's hand, but she was flexing it earlier as if it were weak." "And?" "And when I tracked her eyes, the right one was lagging behind the left." "These are serious neurological symptoms." "It could be a lacunar infarct, onset of MS." "Is there a reason you're having this conversation with me instead of her?" "I offered to do a workup." "She shot me down." "Maybe Cooper can convince her?" "Telling Cooper will only have him jump to the worst possible conclusion." "So you just want to turn a blind eye to this and hope that nothing serious is going on?" "I mean, that's your call, but if Erica strokes out and drives Mason off the side of the PCH, what do you think you'll tell Cooper then?" "He shot and killed a man, Sheldon." "He's a good kid." "I" " I'm not making a value judgment." "I'm just saying, he couldn't possibly be ready to go back to work." "If every cop with PTSD was benched, there wouldn't be any police left on the street." "Well, well, strip all that away, okay" "Joe asking you the favor, the fact that Aaron is on the force." "What would you do?" "I'd want him to get some help so he can work through the trauma." "Exactly." "You-- you-- you have an opportunity to step up for Aaron in a situation where he may not be able to step up for himself." "Or I could push the point, keep him off the force, and destroy his career." "Well, that's what your cop buddy Joe wants you to believe." "I've been around enough cops to know that he's probably right." "So what?" "So you just check the box, you put Aaron back out onto the street, and you just hope he's stable enough to keep it together?" "Joe said he'd make sure he gets some help." " Ah." " Thanks." "Does the police department seem like the kind of place where therapy's encouraged?" "Hey, look, Violet, with all due respect," "I am not being naive, okay?" "But I know Joe, and I have to make a choice." "I trust him or I put the kid in a position where he could lose everything." "Well, shouldn't you be asking if the kid loses more by going back to work too soon?" " I'm not gonna do this." " Okay." " It's lying." " It is." "And I just busted Cooper's butt over doing something like this." "Yeah, you did." "Not to mention the fact that the patient involved specifically said she did not want this to happen, which makes it against the law and unethical." "Why do I feel like there's a "but" coming?" "This is Dr. Charlotte King." "I'm chief of staff at St. Ambrose." "Uh, we have a patient-- Erica Warner-- who just arrived in our ER." "She was seen in your clinic a few months ago." "We need her medical records." "No, not everything, just..." "Head CT, MRI if they have it." "Her most recent head CT and MRI would be useful." "She's in a medically induced coma." "No next of kin." "So you're gonna have to wait on the consent forms." "Look, we can debate this or we can do the right thing and save this woman's life." "Courier's fine." "Thank you." "I was completely clear" "Completely clear with Addison" " that I did not want a kid." " Hey, hey..." " Were you expecting her just to give up?" " Hey..." " No, I" " No Violet, no Addison, no babies." "Sorry." "Look, Sam was a good soldier, and we-- we just" " We know what happens to the good soldiers." "Yeah" " What?" " What's that?" " They... the" "No, what" "They go missing." "Good soldiers go missing." "And then their-- their brothers have to go and get them." "I need another drink." "What is going on?" "Yeah, like-- like Sam needs another awkward romance." "Well, you know how-- Hey." "Hey." " Oh, hey." " Half an hour, I been looking for a drink." " She goes right to Jake?" " Can I get you anything?" "No, I" " I'm fine right now." "Well, if you need anything?" "♪" "I" " No, I need something." "Impressive." "Actually, she was." "Oh." " For real?" " Really?" "Come on." "I gotta have a life outside of work." "Apparently." "We gotta hang out with this guy more." "Okay, okay, I'm" " I'm a married man, but I'm just saying..." "That pretty young lady over there just smiled at me." "All right." "Mm-hmm." "Oh, no, no." "She's-- She's looking at Sam." "No." "N" "Oh." "Yes, she most definitely was." "Yes." "I think I'm gonna go over there." "Really?" " Yeah." "Why?" "Why not?" " Mm." "'Cause you haven't picked up a girl" " since, like, middle school?" " Yeah." "Oh, come on." "I'm" " I'm sure it's" " It's just like riding a bike." "Don't tell her he just learned last year." "My brothers, my brothers, let's mock him on the way out of battle," " not on the way in." " Okay." " Thank you." " I think I'm gonna be fine." "Go get 'em." "♪ It's a chemical attraction ♪" "Oh." "Who's gonna get the next round?" "♪ Can you feel it?" "♪" "Guess it's me." "♪ It's the sound of satisfaction ♪" "♪ oh, oh, oh ♪" "♪ s-s-so you think you can dance, do you?" "♪" " Hey." " Hi." "You drinking bourbon?" "Rye." "You drink rye on the rocks?" "It's an old-fashioned." "Oh." "But doesn't that usually have a, like, a cherry in it?" "If you're a teenage girl..." "Or you take pride in sullying classic drinks." "Maybe I'll try one." "No, don't." "They're serving swill." "I'm in from out of town on a conference, wanted to go out, and I'm already regretting it." "Yeah, this isn't really my kind of place either." "So what kind of place do you like?" "Quiet, good music, and a great cocktail." "Well, those places do exist in L.A." "Mm." "If you have the time." "Well, how about my room?" "It's quiet, I have great music, and I have a killer bottle of bourbon." "♪" "Unless of course you're a cherry-in-the-old-fashioned kind of guy." "Are you really a doctor?" "Yes, I am." "What kind?" "I'm a heart surgeon." "Ugh." "The last guy I met said he was a big television producer." "Okay." "Turns out that he's the guy who got the writers their frappuccinos." " So..." " Well, I don't know what" "How-- how should" " How do you want me to prove it?" "How can I prove it to you?" "Mm." "What muscle is this?" " For" " Okay." " Yes." "Uh, well, it's" " That is the bicep brachii." "Great." "Mm-hmm." "There we have the pectoralis major." "Uh-huh." "And down there we have the transverse abdominis." "I could play this game all night." "Right." "Me, too." "I mean, I actually know all of the names of all the muscles, so..." "That was too much, wasn't it?" "It was a little." "It felt weird coming out of my mouth." "♪ No one does it like you do ♪" "♪ it's a science ♪" "♪ and the beat is our alliance ♪" "♪ it's the sound of satisfaction ♪" "♪ oh, oh, oh ♪" "♪ s-s-so you think you can dance, do you?" "♪" "♪ so you think you can ♪" "♪ d-d-dance, do you?" "♪" "♪ honey, everybody thinks they can d-d-dance ♪" "♪ watch me dance ♪" "Wasn't that our floor?" "Mm." "♪ and no one does it like you do ♪" "♪ 5678!" "♪" "♪ it's a science ♪" "♪ and the beat is our alliance ♪" "♪ oh, oh, oh ♪" "♪ but once you have it ♪" "♪ there is method to the madness ♪" "♪ 5678!" "♪" "Ooh, you're hot, you cook." "Are you married?" "No." "You want to get married?" "We could just pretend it's our honeymoon all morning." "I was kidding about the married." "Oh, okay." "Oh, I know that." "I know." "I just" "I should probably get going to work." "Uh, do you want to hang out again?" "Yeah." "Okay." "Yeah." "No." "So what, are you-- Are" " You are married?" "No, I'm not." "I just..." "I just got out of something." "And you're stuck on her?" "She is stuck in my head." "I'm" " I'm not s-- I'm not stuck." "I" " You know, I'm not the guy that just leaves without calling." "I mean, I always call." "I've always called." "But I just" "You seem really great, and..." "I just-- I kinda want to know..." "You know, what would happen if I decided to..." "Do things different than I've always done, because what I've always done..." "Doesn't seem to work." "Again..." "It's too much." "I have something on my mind." "Me, too." "You first." "No, you go." "Mm." "Am I, like, um..." "If I wasn't your husband, and you saw me in a bar, would you hit on me?" "Ow!" "I'm serious." "Let me guess." "Bachelors' night with the boys got you all nostalgic?" "I do not miss being a bachelor, and I love being married." "But there was a lot of attention being doled out, and none of it was coming my way." "Do I not give you enough attention?" "That's not the point." "What is the point?" "I'm not sure." "Cooper, you are handsome man." "Now if you didn't have a ring on your finger, you'd have to beat those hussies off with a stick." "Thank you." "Mm." "Would you have sex with me?" "I am not one of those hussies." "Damn it." "You think we have enough space in the loft?" "What do you mean?" "Well, Mason's been spending a lot of time there, and..." "I was thinking, you may want it to be more than just a weekend thing at some point." "I was looking on the Internet, and there are these partitions we could install, in the living room maybe." "We could build Mason his own man cave." "He would love that." "So you're pretty into Mason these days, huh?" "♪" "Are you feeling like a hussy now?" "Don't push your luck." "♪" "We've gotten threats." "The stuff in the papers..." "Everyone's trying to twist this around like Aaron's some rogue cop." "That must be hard." "Yeah." "We'll be fine." "♪" "Do you want to know what he did that day before the shooting?" "He drove a kid from corner to corner to find his mom because she left in the middle of the night to buy drugs." "That didn't make the papers." "He's a good man." "He doesn't deserve this." "Oh, Sissy, can you, um... ♪ you're free ♪" "I need a moment alone with Dr. Wallace, okay?" "Okay." "♪" "♪ you're free ♪" "♪ you're free ♪" "So..." "What have you decided?" "I'm sorry, Aaron." "I don't think you're ready to be back on the street." "I am ready." "I am." "Please..." "Let me get back to work." "I know it must feel like the whole world is watching you maybe even against you, but you can't worry about Sissy or Joe or anyone else." "You've had a major trauma, and I think it's important that we continue to talk about this." "No, no." "You don't understand." "You know, growing up, the cops in my neighborhood were jerks..." "Just because they could be." "You know, and I-I thought..." "I thought I could be a better cop, a better person than that." "You see," "I don't know how to sit around my house." "I know how to be a cop." "Okay, I want to get you to the point where you can do your job and still have a healthy outlook for your emotions." "How is that possible?" "Without work to keep my focus, all I do is sit around and I replay that night." "♪ After you leave ♪" "And, uh... ♪ After you leave ♪" "And what do you see?" "♪ Oh, you're gonna be ♪" "I see his face." "That's natural." "You didn't have a choice." "It's okay to let yourself off the hook, Aaron." "Is it?" "You can talk to me." "♪" "I see his face, Dr. Wallace." "It was dark." "There was a shadow." "I got spooked." "♪" "And when I opened my eyes, he was on the ground." "♪" "And I told the investigators he reached, but, uh... ♪ Oh, come on ♪" "It's okay." "♪" "I was scared." "I was scared." "And now I can't get his face out of my head." "♪ Oh, come on ♪" "I am sorry." "♪" "I am so, so sorry." "♪ You're free ♪" "I just spent two hours on the phone trying to convince Aaron not to quit." "I said I needed more time with him." "Shut the door." "I thought you'd do right by him." "You thought I'd rubber stamp him." "You knew that his story was bogus." "This guy Aaron shot, he was 19 years old." "But you probably read that, right?" "You know what you didn't read?" "The first time he comes to the system, he's 11." "He beats up an old man at a bus stop for $9." "9 bucks, Shelley." "Three years in juvie where he distinguished himself by his ability to make shanks." "He almost killed a kid in there." "Now six weeks after he finally gets out, he robs a liquor store, and the list goes on and on." "And you think that justifies my lying to protect Aaron?" "You think you're protecting him by keeping him off the street?" "I'm telling you, only way this kid makes it is by putting on his uniform and gettin' back out there." "No, you are wrong, Joe." "He is not doing well." "None of us are doing well, Shelley." "That's the joke." "It's a brutal job, and we do the best we can." "But if we were to stop and think about what we do and why and try to make some sense of it, you'd have a line of us outside your door a mile long." "Well, then maybe I should have a line." "Aaron doesn't go back to work until I say so." "What am I looking at?" "A gliosarcoma." "Neuro docs go their entire careers without ever seeing one of these, and I sniffed it out while suturing a hand." "Well, congratulations." "What does it mean?" "I mean, these things are nasty." "They're the only tumor that can actually push out of the brain through the skull." "And if the cells come into contact with any other part of the body, the tumor grows there, making them nearly inoperable." "How long?" "I'd need updated scans, to be sure, but we're talking a few months." "I mean, this" " This specialist gives her..." "Six to nine." "Is there anything you can do?" "No." "Hey." "Hey." "I called you last night." "You left, uh, Bonky Bear at your place." "Yeah, I know." "I saw." "I was out with, uh, Jake and Cooper." "We were trying to get Sam's mind off of Addison." "Oh." "How'd that go?" "It's Sam." "I mean..." "I know." "Addison is not a bastion of mental health these days, either." "The next two people who get together at this practice" "Should be fired immediately." "So how was it?" "What do you mean?" "Last night." "The boys' night out." "Oh, oh, it-- it was good." "Fun." "Yeah." "What?" "What did you think I meant?" "Nothing." "I..." "What did you do last night?" "Violet" "No, no, no, no, what?" "Were you with someone?" "Oh, God." "You were with someone." "Oh, wow." "Go ahead." " With what?" " With your objection to me seeing other people while we're separated." "How old is she?" " Violet, d" " No, no, really." "Really." "Was she a waitress or was she one of those little girls that goes to the clubs" " all the time?" " Stop deflecting." "I'm not deflecting." "Congratulations on your..." "Whatever it was." "So you're okay if I see other people?" "We're separated, right?" "Okay." "I'll bring by Bonky Bear tonight." "Okay." "♪ no lies ♪" "Did you know all the guys went out last night?" "Really?" "So Sam could get his mind off you." "That's why he didn't come home." "I was up all night again." "I did not hear the garage open," "I did not see the lights go on." "I feel like Pete is using this separation to have the bachelor party that he never had." "You know, he wants to sow his wild..." "Old oats." "He told you that?" "Yeah." "I pretended not to care." "Do you?" "♪ ..." "Making sense, it felt like new year's Eve ♪" "Well, I don't want to." "I mean, intellectually," "I-I understand where Pete is coming from." "But emotionally, I..." "I haven't processed him being with other women yet." "Does he think our marriage is over?" "Maybe he just has a different idea of what separation is, you know?" "You prefer sleeping sideways." "He prefers..." "Sowing his wild, old oats." "Ugh." "A part of me hopes that Sam moves on, you know?" "I mean, I wonder if..." "I didn't hold him hostage, you know?" "I mean, with all the baby stuff." "Well, you're trying to be happy." "Maybe Pete is, too." "♪ Ooh ♪" "♪ my father tried to make me try ♪" "Hey." "What's up?" "I know about the tumor." " What?" " I know." "How?" "I just..." "I know." "You have no idea what you're talking about." "I do." "You need help." "No." "What I need is time, and I'm not gonna waste it chasing some cure that doesn't exist." "You have to tell Cooper." "Look, I don't have control over what this thing is doing to my brain, but I have control over when I tell Mason and destroy his childhood." "He won't say anything." "He won't have to." "He'll just look at him like a kid whose mom is dying, and Mason will know." "Look, I understand that." "I do." "But you are family to Cooper now." "He needs time to prepare." "You need to listen to me." "You are gonna keep your mouth shut, because if you mention one word of this to Cooper," "I will take my son and disappear, and Cooper will never see him again." "♪" "♪" "Nice." "Nice." "Hey, come here." "Put your two fingers over the seam, and let your wrist roll over it." "Got it, dad." "Teaching them the curve, huh?" "Yeah." "Used to be enough to take my mind off of things." "Yeah, well, silence has a way of eating at you till there's nothing left." "I think what you need to consider is whether you can keep this one inside and still be the man and the cop that you want to be." "If I rat myself out, I'll be letting everyone down." "Look, Joe would never talk to me again." "Yeah, maybe." "My father was a brilliant surgeon, one of the best in his field." "And I wanted to be that, too, right?" "For him." "But I failed in the worst possible way." "I mean, imagine trying to be a world-class surgeon when you..." "You can't stomach the sight of blood." "Coming to terms with the fact that I wasn't gonna be the person he wanted me to be, it was hard." "I won't lie to you." "But I'm better for it." "Yeah, well..." "I wouldn't know how to do that." "Well, I do." "If I don't sign off on your psych eval, you're off the force, at least for a while." "It'll make getting back on very difficult, maybe impossible." "But if I do it..." "It's not the best way, because at the end of the day, you're the one who has to live with it." "Here." "You still sulking?" "I'm not sulking." "Too much energy." "I am too far past..." "Exhaustion to sulk." "Looks like sulking from here." "You know what you are?" "You're a peddler..." "A baby peddler." " Is that right?" " Mm-hmm." "It is." "And you're probably here to give me some sort of pep talk where, to summarize, you'll tell me to get back on the horse." "You're a peddler." "Are you getting back together with Sam?" "Why would you ask that?" "Well, you gave Sam up because you wanted a baby." "And if you're not getting back together with him, then a baby is still what you want." "Give me your hand." "What?" "Until you have a baby, I consider you my patient." "Give me your hand." "Okay." "I have heard every word of this before, and I have told women when it's time to throw in the towel, and you are not there yet." "You're... not even close." "If you want this, we can make this happen." "I..." "I know you've felt alone before, but you don't need to feel that way anymore, because you've got me." "I will always be there, Addison." "You say that to all your patients?" "Not all of it." "I..." "Just almost fell asleep." "You got some balls." "I came for Aaron." "Oh, you've already done enough for him." "He's giving himself up in there." "You know what that means?" "If he's lucky enough to somehow avoid prison, he loses his badge, his pension, and everything he's ever worked for." "He'll be lucky to wind up flipping burgers in some fast-food joint." "You screwed him." "And you screwed me." "We've been friends a long time, Joe." "Well, not anymore." "Next time you need a cop, don't call me." "This is the right thing to do, whether you see it now or not." "You stealing supplies?" "Oh, hey." "What are you doing here?" "I..." "I was gonna say that, uh, I was here to see Mr. Bauer, but really, I was, uh, hoping to find you." "That's very sweet." "I'm assuming you're not being patronizing." "Mnh-mnh." "Um, well, I was wondering, is it too late for me to take you up on your offer?" "Um..." "I need to finish stealing supplies for my rig and take a shower." "Give me an hour?" "Okay." "Will you help me find a surrogate?" "Absolutely." "So they really called you "Bus"?" "Um, my brother is older, and he and his friends used to play tackle football out behind our house, and I always wanted to play as the younger brother, but, you know, my mom said," ""you're too young, you're gonna get hurt,"" "and, uh..." "So one day, I went," "I put a bucket over my head..." "And I just ran out on the field, and I-I said, "I'm gonna bus 'em." "I'm gonna bus 'em up."" "And so the name "Bus" was born." "Uh-huh." "I broke my collarbone that day." "Needed to have surgery." "How old are you?" "I'm 29." "♪ The road ahead ♪" "♪ is like a thread ♪" "Comrade." "C-o-m-r-a-d-e." "Comrade." "♪ Where we'll go and what we'll do ♪" "Did I get it?" "Sorry." "Uh, yeah." "Knocked you out again." "Ahh." "All right." "I don't think I can take any more tonight." "Why don't you get washed up, and we'll watch a little tv, okay?" "♪ It's like I knew ♪" "What's going on with you?" "Usually you love to watch me get thrashed by an 8 year old." "Ah, I'm just..." "I'm tired." "♪ Tying knots ♪" "Charlotte, what's wrong?" "♪ Strings that I don't wanna lose ♪" "I love you." "What's going on?" "♪ Like will we live to 98 ♪" "♪ watch our hair go gray?" "♪" "♪ Will we go out with a bang?" "♪" "♪ will we fade away?" "♪" "♪ in other words I hope ♪" "♪ that we still hold hands ♪" "Hey." "Tonight's my night to keep him." "Yes." "I just..." "Could we go somewhere to talk?" "Just you and me." "♪ Like will we live to 98 ♪" "♪ watch our hair go gray?" "♪" "♪ will we go out with a bang?" "♪" "♪ will we fade away?" "♪" "Where's my dad?" "Oh." "He'll be back in a minute." "Um..." "You want another word?" "Sure." "Okay." "Yeah, uh... ♪ ..." "Things end ♪" "The word..." "Is acceptable." "Acceptable." "A-c-c-e-p-t-a-b-l-e." "Acceptable." "♪ Will we live to 98 ♪" "♪ watch our hair go gray?" "♪" "♪ will we go out with a bang?" "♪" "How you been?" "Okay." "You?" "♪ In other words I hope ♪" "♪ that we still hold hands ♪" "I haven't been sleeping." "♪ And watch as the... ♪" "Me either." "♪ Piano lands on us ♪" "I mean, the winner was literally hobbled by the end." "And he did this all for 50 bucks and a boot filled with beer." "I mean, the guy is either a glutton for punishment or..." "Or he just really likes drinking beer out of a boot." "Which do you think it was?" "I don't know." "Both..." "I guess." "I guess if you want something badly enough, then maybe getting your shins pummeled is a fair price." "♪ That is all I'll ever need ♪" "I want a baby." "♪ And just a little... ♪" "I'm gonna have a baby." "♪ More time ♪"