"Meredith:" "Trauma is messy..." "Chaotic." "Looking at a body that's been reduced to a bloody pulp it might seem difficult to know where to start." "[ Vomits ]" "Edwards, got a vomiter in bed five." "Rule out obstruction, please?" "Yay!" "How we doing?" "She's in all right shape, but she's complaining of abdominal pains." "Okay." "Kepner, what do you have?" "Mvc, bed three." "Shepherd's doing a neuro consult, but she just started complaining of stomach pain." "Dr. Pierce!" "Busy morning." "Yeah, when it rains." "Hey, can you go see chest pains in bed six, please?" "Got it." "Luckily, some very clever person developed a protocol, the abcs -- airway, breathing, circulation." "20-something female carjacking victim -- multiple lacs and contusions, open tibia fracture, hypotensive and tachycardic." "[ Sighs ] This was a carjacking?" "And a hell of a beating." "Wilson, you're with me." "The abcs keep your patient alive so you can figure out how to tackle the rest of the mess." "If only all life's problems could be solved with an intubation tube." "They took my car!" "Owen:" "Shh, shh." "They took my -- shh, shh, shh, shh." "What's your name?" "Melissa." "My car " "April:" "Melissa, I'm sure your car's fine." "We're gonna take care of you, okay?" "Wilson, go see if anyone came in with her." "Okay." "[ Groans ]" "I think you're fine, but I want to make sure." "Let's do a head C.T. to be safe." "Right away." "Let's get an abdominal C.T., as well." "Dr. Grey, I have your -- our..." "Ellis' journals." "You went through them already?" "Yeah, I've had them for a while." "Got a good sense of her as a surgeon, if not as a person." "So, thank you." "Sure." "Okay." "She still calls you "Dr. Grey"?" "That's my name." "We should invite her over..." "For dinner." "Why?" "She's family." "Ish." "Dinner tomorrow night." "It's what people do." "What people?" "[ Sighs ] Dr. Hunt in trauma one needs an ortho consult." "Nurse:" "On it." "April." "Hey, uh, I thought you were on the -- yeah, your mom's flight got in early, so I brought her here." "Why would you do that?" "'Cause she wanted to see you." "Wh" "I-I set her up in the attendings' lounge." "Just give me a page when you get a second." "Uh, I..." "love you!" "[ Sighs ] Sorry, uh, what was I saying?" "This is where you've been staying?" "I figured you'd gone to a hotel, or..." "Yeah, well, Herman's been breathing down my neck day and night." "This is easier." "Plus, where I sleep is no longer any of your concern." "I didn't kick you out." "I never said that you had to go." "No, no, you just made it very clear that my being around you was suffocating." "[ Cellphone chiming ]" "[ Sighs ] Okay, well, have you told anyone?" "No." "Have you?" "No." "I -- do you think that we should?" "Can we just not... yet?" "Whatever you want." "I didn't want any of this." "I have rounds." "I'm saying you skipped breakfast." "Didn't have time!" "Avery made me point person on the board's strategic planning meeting." "And I have consults." "Got to keep the trains running on time." "Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah." "Ah." "Mm." "You're my favorite resident." "Hey." "You were looking for me?" "Yes." "Mr. Weaver here is -- oh, Jeremy." "Hi." "Yeah, he's complaining of chest pains." "EKG is fine except for a little lvh, but his first troponin is within normal limits, so I've ruled out a dissection, but his belly is still a little tender." "I'm fine, really." "Oh, well, let's see." "Take it easy, Mr. Weaver." "Okay, see you later." "Okay." "Ow!" "Hurts there?" "Yeah, but it's -- it's heartburn, I swear." "My wife made me come." "I mean, I should be at work, you know?" "And I got to pick up my kid later." "[ Grunts ]" "Uh, Jeremy, have you eaten today?" "Uh, coffee." "Oh, you skipped breakfast, too, huh?" "Uh, oh, no, no, no, and then, uh, pancakes, sausage, eggs, a couple of energy drinks." "I would've had more, but I've been having trouble swallowing lately." "Ben:" "Sounds like you did pretty well." "Well, you got to fuel up." "You know, I got a lot of balls in the air!" "Sorry." "Look, we're gonna admit you for observation." "No, no, no, no, no, no." "And I'll try to make it quick, okay?" "Um, add on lfts, a second troponin, and an abdominal C.T." "Uh, call me when you get the results." "[ Coughs ] Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah." "Finish your doughnut." "Melissa works with us." "We do computer repair at office hub." "I found her on the way into work." "She was just laying there on the ground, not moving." "I thought she was dead!" "Do you know anything about her family, anyone we can contact?" "We don't really know her that well." "Owen:" "Wilson!" "Uh, why don't you guys take a seat?" "I'll be right back." "[ Monitor beeping rapidly ] She's crashing." "You paged ortho?" "Oh, whoa!" "Yeah, you're gonna have to wait." "Belly's expanding even though I cross-clamped the aorta." "Should we book an O.R.?" "Yeah, but she's not gonna make it to an O.R. with this much blood in the belly." "We're gonna need to do an emergency laparotomy." "Uh, right now?" "Here?" "Wilson, we're gonna need gauze, laps, whatever we have to pack this abdomen." "[ Breathes deeply ]" "You sure you want to do this?" "I'm sure we don't have a choice." "Okay." "Oh!" "[ Monitors beeping rapidly ]" "All right, Wilson." "Liver's intact." "Let's look at the retroperitoneum." "Oh, God, it's the I.V.C." "Okay, put some pressure on it." "Satinsky, please." "Suction ready." "All right, fracture's all cleaned out for now." "I'll do the repair tomorrow." "Have we found out anything about this girl?" "No purse, no I.D." "And we know she worked at the office hub, but the only emergency contact they had was her own number." "Actually, we know something else." "She's a veteran." "Yeah, she has an operation Iraqi freedom tattoo, 2011-2012." "I've been examining a lot of vets lately, thanks to you." "Good eye, Torres." "The injury's exposed." "4-oh prolene." "[ Monitor beeping ]" "[ Sighs ] This should never have happened to her." "It shouldn't have happened to anyone." "More suction, please." "Hi, mom!" "Ah!" "[ Laughs ]" "Ah!" "Oh, look at -- oh, look at you!" "Oh!" "How was your flight?" "Oh, not as good as my ride over." "My chauffeur has the prettiest eyes." "Mom!" "Oh, uh, thank you?" "[ Gasps ] Oh, look, I almost forgot." "Look what I found in the airport gift shop -- zoo animal decals from the Seattle zoo!" "I thought they'd be adorable on the nursery wall, and they'll go with whatever color you're planning on painting, which I assume is gender neutral." "Oh, you know, actually, we haven't -- we haven't really had time to think about colors." "Mnh-mnh." "Oh, you two and work -- busy, busy, busy!" "Speaking of which, um, the E.R. is a madhouse." "Oh, yeah." "I-I probably " " I just need to get back down there, but I promise I will try to make it back for dinner." "Oh, dinner?" "Mom... what?" "I thought maybe you could take off the afternoon." "We could shop for paint samples for the nursery and open a baby registry." "Mrs. frye at church asks over -- mom, you know what I do for a living." "I don't know why you thought I could just take all afternoon off to -- you know what?" "I have a super-light day, so I can " " I can do all of -- all of those things." "Jackson, you d-- you don't have to do that." "It's not a problem." "It'll be fun!" "Yes, it will." "We've got this." "Guys, I don't want to sound like a jerk, but I got clients to see all over town, and then I got to pick up my kid and drop her at volleyball, and then I got two more clients to see." "And believe me, I get it." "The number of things I've got on my agenda would make your head spin." "Perfect -- then send me home, and we can both get back to it." "I mean, look at me." "I'm fit as a fiddle." "Well, that's not what your labs say." "Uh, cholesterol is in the 300s." "Your triglycerides are worse." "Your BP's too high, and your blood sugar is in the pre-diabetic range." "Who are you gonna believe -- me or science?" "Okay, you've got an honest face, but science and I go way back." "C.T. doesn't show abdominal problems, but we'd like to do some extensive studies." "[ Sighs ] So we need to do a barium swallow test." "When we get that back, depending on the results," "I might need to do an e.G.D." "Is there any way we could skip a step, you know, cut to the chase?" "[ Laughs ] Okay, Dr. Bailey is just trying to avoid putting a tube down your throat or up your, uh -- oh. [ Laughs ] Indeed." "You know, I appreciate the thought, but if it'll get me out of here sooner," "Dr. Bailey can stick a tube wherever she wants." "[ Laughs ]" "All right." "This is Waldo pfeiffer, gestational age 23 weeks." "In addition to an incredibly unfortunate first name," "Waldo's dealing with a particularly nasty c-cam." "Tell me what c-cam stands for." "Congenital cystic adenomatoid malformation." "The mass is pressing on his heart and lungs." "Waldo's c-cam has been unresponsive to steroid treatment." "Now he's developing hydrops." "This is what fetal surgery was created for." "First, we're gonna open up the mother, then incise the uterus, then we're gonna remove the c-cam and put him right back where we found him, and hopefully he'll be carried to term." "You have a consultation in 20 minutes." "Make it fast, get back here, and we're going to go over this procedure step by step." "Terrific." "Thank you." "Well, don't thank me." "I decided it was necessary when it took you two months to wrap your head around a fetal valvuloplasty." "You ready for this?" "Yes." "Yes, absolutely." "Uh, it's a chronic subdural." "It should reabsorb itself." "Great." "Thanks." "Your wife invited me to dinner at your house." "Perfect. [ Laughs ]" "Yeah, I was so surprised by the invitation," "I forgot to ask if I should bring anything." "Just yourself." "Anything you don't eat?" "No." "Not at all." "Oh, perfect. [ Laughs ]" "How about a pot roast?" "Great." "[ Knock on door ]" "Uh, I'm " " I'm " " I'm sorry." "Uh, Shepherd, I was looking for a consult." "I can come back later." "No, we're done here." "Thanks, Dr. Shepherd." "Richard." "What are you doing tomorrow night?" "Um..." "Hey, this could be you if you keep eating like you do." "I bet if we took your blood right now -- mm-hmm, see, I could say the same thing about you, but I wouldn't want to change a single thing about you, so I won't." "I don't want to change anything about you either." "I like you alive, not dead on a toilet after having a heart attack trying to pass a deep-fried onion blossom." "God, Miranda, why would you even think -- what the hell?" "Oh, what is this?" "Not a deep-fried onion blossom 'cause that'd just be too much." "No." "It's a tumor." "[ Sighs ]" "And it's a big one." "Hey, sorry, the consultation went off without a hitch, but then mom got a little nervous, so I just wanted to make sure that she was okay." "[ Clears throat ]" "C-cam." "Um, I'm ready whenever you are." "There's been a change in plans." "I'm having a personal..." "I'm going home." "Here are the materials on the procedure." "Internalize them." "I've made notes in the margins because my approach is better than most of the crap that's in there." "You'll also need to cover my service." "Wait, hold on." "Is everything, uh, okay?" "I said it's personal!" "You have what you need from me there." "Read it." "What if I have questions?" "They'll be answered in there." "I'll see you tomorrow." "Woman:" "I keep telling you to take more walks, yeah, you know, I mean, like, have a salad, maybe, instead of all the Philly cheesesteaks." "Jeremy:" "You certainly do, honey, constantly, and just every time -- hello." "You don't look like you have good news." "Jeremy [Sighs]" "Um, I'm afraid the e.G.D. Revealed a tumor." "It's early-stage adenocarcinoma." "Oh, God!" "Cancer?" "But I-I-I came in here for heartburn." "And that's most likely what you had, but the..." "Cheesesteaks and the fried foods have caused intense acid reflux, and over time, that reflux has made your esophagus the perfect home for cancer." "I'm sorry." "So, w-what do we do?" "We'd like to keep you overnight and do some pre-op tests, then do an esophagectomy where we remove your esophagus and replace it with a piece of your colon." "And then the cancer would be gone?" "That's the hope." "Yeah, it will be." "Okay, it'll be fine." "You go and get Erin." "Yeah." "And tell her what's going on, but don't scare her, okay?" "It's gonna be fine." "Okay." "It's gonna be fine." "April:" "Hello, Jackson?" "In here, Dr. mom!" "[ Laughs ]" "Hey. [ Sighs ]" "Wow!" "You've been... busy." "We were just gonna start a gift registry, but then we saw this adorable mobile, and the next thing I knew, I filled a shopping cart." "[ Chuckles ]" "Yeah, we actually had a pretty good day today." "Don't sound so surprised!" "I am quite fun." "Uh, this didn't come from a store." "Four generations of Kepner babies have slept in that old war-horse." "How did you..." "You didn't bring this in your carry-on." "Shipping cost a fortune." "Your sisters thought I should send it along, but I wanted to be here to see your face when it arrived, so last week, I called Jackson." "You called Jackson?" "!" "I do know how to use a telephone, little miss." "[ Sighs ] I am famished." "Well, why did you wait for me to eat?" "I called." "I told you I'd be late." "We probably just lost track of time." "It's no a big deal." "I'll just hop in the kitchen and whip something up." "Well, I didn't go to the store because I thought that we would be going out." "[ Laughing ] I'm sure I can figure something out." "No, no, mom, stop it!" "I don't " " I don't need you to whip something up, and I didn't need you to come out here and set up my whole nursery." "I don't need " " I -- I don't want your help!" "Do you understand?" "!" "April." "Come on, that's not fair." "Meredith:" "You invited Richard to dinner?" "!" "This was already a bad idea." "You're trying to make it worse?" "She doesn't want to know him." "He said exactly the same thing." "Okay, then why are you trying to force it?" "Because he's my friend." "He's our friend." "He's family, and this is one of the reasons why you didn't want to leave Seattle in the first place, remember?" "You have family here, roots." "Are you kidding me?" "!" "What?" "[ Sighs ]" "I have to have dinner with the sister I don't know and the bio-dad she hates because you gave up your chance to work for Obama?" "!" "You're gonna play that card?" "Of course you are because you'll be playing that card until the end of freaking time!" "Time-out." "No, I am so sick of your passive-aggressive -- time-out." "I'm sorry." "I shouldn't have said that." "I am just trying to help out here." "I'm trying to help you, and I am trying to help them." "I come from a big family." "It's crazy, it's messy, but it's good, and I want that for you." "I want you to have that." "She's your sister, and he's practically your father." "And zola needs more black people in the family because I'm running out of ways to braid her hair and Bailey won't show me any more." "¶ Always hopeful that I'll make a change ¶ fine." "You want Richard to come to dinner, call Pierce and make sure she's okay with it." "Me?" "You want Richard to come to dinner." "You win." "Accept the win." "Don't push for more." "Okay, but s-shouldn't you be the one who's making the -- accept the win." "¶ ...heart ¶" "¶ so, I love you ¶" "¶ I want you to be all that you can ¶ [ clears throat ] I thought I was clear." "I don't need you up here double-checking my work." "Oh, don't get all sharks and jets on me, okay?" "One of Herman's patients landed in here, and I'm learning the steps of tomorrow's c-cam fetal surgery from a journal article." "Actually, not even -- from the chicken scratch in the margin of an article." "[ Sighs ]" "I think she's trying to haze me [Sighs]" "Or set me up for a failure or, uh, maybe kill me." "You know what?" "No one forced you to do this, and now you're gonna pout because it's kind of hard and your teacher's mean?" "Suck it up." "¶ ...down ¶" "¶ what you gonna do... ¶ [ gasps ]" "Hey. [ Gasps ]" "Melissa, it's okay." "What are -- what are you -- shh, you're -- you're -- you're in the hospital." "You were -- where's -- you were pretty badly banged up, but you're all right." "Where's my car?" "D-did they -- it's -- did they find my car?" "It's all right." "Did they find my car?" "Shh." "Just try and sleep." "Okay?" "Shh." "¶ ..." "loving you ¶" "[ dog barking in distance ]" "Dr. Bailey!" "Dr. Pierce!" "I didn't know you were a runner!" "Oh, yeah." "I mean, I usually just spin." "I-I take a spin class." "I thought I could get some fresh air for a change." "It's a gorgeous morning, isn't it?" "You know, I was only gonna go like another 3 Miles, but I can stretch it out if you want to join." "Oh, no." "I mean, uh, thank you." "I " " I'm sorry." "I just picked up a new audiobook." "Oprah recommended it." "Totally understand." "Let me know how it is." "Okay." "[ Sighs ]" "[ Exhales sharply ]" "Uh, you're the last person who gets to lecture me on avoiding my mother." "That's not true." "My mother is a nightmare, and yours is the sweetest person I've ever met." "No, what happened last night was not sweet." "It was condescending." "Come on, you're overreacting." "Yes, 'cause she just decided that I needed her help." "I needed help." "I asked her for it, okay?" "I have no idea what the hell I'm doing here." "I just spent four hours in that baby store, and my mind was blown." "Do you know how much I don't know about having babies?" "So much." "[ Sighs ]" "And she knows everything and so do you, and it's easy for you guys." "My family was not built that way." "I didn't have grandparents falling over themselves trying to..." "love me, but lucky for us, our kid will." "That is, provided that you do not drive her away first." "Hey." "Hey, uh..." "O.R. three is ready for Melissa's tibia repair, and the police are finishing up getting her statement now." "All right, thank you, ma'am." "Oh." "[ Monitor beeping ]" "Melissa, are you okay?" "They found it. [ Sighs ]" "They found my car in pieces in some chop shop in bellevue, um, and it's gone." "Okay." "It's okay." "It's all replaceable." "Let's just be glad you didn't get killed." "Damn it." "If I hadn't been asleep..." "What happened?" "Do you remember?" "I was sleeping, and then they broke the window, and they pulled me out of it, and..." "And I tried to hold on, but I got stuck in the door, and they dragged me for a while, and then they punched me, and then they kicked me, and..." "And then I couldn't hold on anymore." "God, why didn't you just let them take it?" "Everything was in that car." "Everything." "Jo:" "The car was the first thing she asked about when she woke up." "She said she was asleep in it when she was attacked." "It sounds like it's all she had." "So you're saying she's homeless?" "I'm saying I think she's living in her car, so, yeah." "Well, I thought you said she had a job." "No, you can have a job and not have a home." "That just makes it even worse." "I mean, try going through high school living in your car." "You got to lie all the time, you can never have anyone over, you have to make up excuses why, you have no bathroom, and then you know what?" "You can't even tell anybody 'cause then they just look at you like you're weird and pitiful." "Find me when she wakes up." "Okay." "[ Door closes ]" "You lived in your car in high school?" "See, that's the look." "Glove me." "Karev?" "Dr. Karev expressed an interest in our little c-cam surgery today." "Yeah, it sounds amazing, but I want to make sure I'm not in the way." "Happy to have you." "Hope to hell you studied, Robbins." "I'll warn you, I did not sleep well last night." "My patience will be thin." "Richard Webber is coming?" "No, that's " "I can't believe him." "No, no, no." "It didn't come from Richard, okay?" "I invited him." "Well, I can't make it." "I'm sorry." "Look, you came here to find out about Ellis." "Why don't you talk to someone who actually knew her?" "To Richard." "Come and have dinner with me and Meredith." "Less pressure -- it's a baby step." "[ Cellphone chimes ]" "Let me think about it." "Okay." "[ Sighs ]" "Is this about how I'm gonna pay for all this?" "No." "No, no, no." "We just wanted to know -- 'cause I-I have some insurance left, but all the paperwork was -- was inside your car?" "I'm just saying that I'll figure it out." "Melissa, are you living in your car?" "Wilson." "I don't know how else to ask." "[ Clears throat ] We don't mean to pry." "We just " " I " "I-it was only gonna be temporary." "I -- when I got out of the army, the job I had lined up was gone." "My fiancé was gone, and..." "My apartment with him." "All I could get was the job at office hub, and it doesn't pay great, and I couldn't afford rent, so, yeah, I'm making it work." "But now the car's gone with, uh, my cash [Sighs]" "And my clothes, my savings 'cause banks want you to have an address." "Um..." "So, uh, yeah." "Yeah." "I mean, everything I have is gone, but if I can't get back to work, then I'm gonna lose my job, too." "[ Sighs ]" "Melissa, there are programs available for the sole purpose of helping..." "Homeless veterans." "Well, I'm not homeless." "I'm -- it's only temporary." "They will get you into real, dependable housing, then after that, everything else is that much easier." "See, that's -- that's not for me." "You served in Iraq." "I fixed computers in an operations office in the green zone." "There are guys who were wounded in combat, who were blown to pieces, who had their faces burned off, and I've met guys who have been on the street since Vietnam." "I was carjacked." "In Seattle. [ Scoffs ]" "Excuse me." "You have some visitors." "[ Sighs ]" "Oh, my God, uh..." "Just, uh, p-please go?" "And don't say a word to those guys?" "Melissa, I -- I'll figure it out." "I always do." "Just go, please." "Okay, everybody, we're about to meet Waldo." "Let's be quiet so we don't wake him up." "Robbins, next step?" "A 20-cc-per-kilo bolus of normal saline into the umbilical vein." "So you did read my notes." "[ Chuckles ] I'll give the bolus." "You pull out Waldo's arm so we can attach the monitor." "Okay." "It's amazing." "Indeed." "Now you're ready for chest exposure and incision." "Scalpel." "Now, every step counts here." "Tell me what you're about to do." "I'll perform a posterolateral thoracotomy and slowly deliver the mass." "Slowly and controlled." "I'm sorry?" "My notes said the mass needs to be delivered slowly and in a controlled manner." "Did you read my notes or not?" "I did." "It also told me to prepare for bradycardia." "[ Monitors beeping ]" "Proceed." "Okay." "There's the mass." "[ Monitor beeping rapidly ]" "And there's the bradycardia." "How do we handle that?" "Atropine and epi I.M. Into the deltoid." "And why is this important?" "Why this approach?" "'Cause if the c-cam starts to pop out, then this little guy is at risk for heart failure." "That's not what my notes said." "Well, not in those words, but " "I want my words." "I want my exact words." "You're giving me the gist." "I'm not interested in your interpretation of my notes." "I want to know that the specific words that I wrote are now embedded in your brain." "That's what this is all about." "That's what this fellowship is all about." "If you're only interested in learning the gist of -- all right, she gets the point." "[ Monitor beeping ]" "Dr. Karev..." "We're just getting to the good part." "You don't want to have to leave now." "My notes said that before my approach, this surgery resulted in fetal cardiac arrest" "50% of the time." "[ Beeping continues ]" "Feels strange, doesn't it?" "To touch a baby before he's even born?" "You know what it feels like?" "Privilege." "Great privilege." "[ Indistinct p.A. Announcement ]" "Um [Clears throat]" "Okay." "What happened?" "Nothing." "Did you fall?" "[ Scoffs ] No!" "I'm fine." "You're not fine." "You're -- you're limping." "Limping?" "I hope you didn't overdo it this morning." "Overdo what?" "Jogging." "Jogging?" "Yes, jogging." "She didn't tell you?" "We ran into each other at the seward park trail." "[ Clears throat ] Mnh-mnh." "Are we gonna go get a tumor out of a man or just sit around and talk about it?" "Okay." "Meredith." "Did Derek talk to you about me coming to this dinner?" "He did." "Okay, what do you think?" "Because I'm not 100% convinced." "I'm not either." "I-I think it might seem -- a little pushy." "A little too much, too soon." "I'm thinking of calling it off." "Well, if you think that's best." "I think Derek will understand." "What is wrong with you people?" "!" "You can't un-invite someone to dinner, not after the song and dance I had to go through to get her to even think about coming." "You're not calling this off!" "Okay, I have an aneurysm I need to clip." "I will see you both there tonight." "I'll bring dessert." "Thanks." "That would be nice." "[ Sirens wailing ]" "[ Indistinct radio chatter ]" "Edwards, start his work-up." "I'll be there in a second." "Copy that." "Man: 47-year-old male." "He was the passenger in a vehicle." "I thought your flight wasn't till later this afternoon." "I pushed it." "You owe me an apology." "And I'm not leaving until I get one." "I owe you an apology?" "You were rude, and I raised you better." "I understand you're very busy, and I understand you work hard, but -- mom, I am not going to apologize for having the life that I want, even if you think " "April Kepner!" "You have made choices that are very different from mine, and it's scary." "Any mother who watches her child do something she hasn't done herself -- it's scary." "But that doesn't mean I haven't been proud of you, and the more I see you in this world, in this work, in this marriage..." "The prouder I am." "I have no earthly understanding of what it is you do, but I know a lot about babies, and I don't want to take anything away from you." "I just want to help you." "And I get to do that because I am a grandma." "And I am also... your mother." "[ Sighs ]" "I'm sorry." "Thank you." "So, can I..." "Can I call you if I have questions?" "Well..." "I suppose." "If you must." "Thanks for having my back in there." "You can't let her talk to you like that." "I know." "Well, so do something about it." "I can't." "Well, you have to." "Callie and I are splitting up." "And there are a lot of reasons why it happened, but taking this fellowship might've been the nail in the coffin." "I traded my marriage for this job, and it's pretty much all I have right now, so it has to work." "I need it to work." "Okay." "[ Sighs ]" "No, screw that." "It's not okay." "I saw what happened in there." "She's got it in for you." "She's either looking for a reason to fire you, or she's gonna grind you down and make you miserable trying to please her." "She'll probably fire you either way." "What do you got to lose?" "Melissa?" "Yeah?" "I brought these for you." "I told you I -- what rank were you when you got out?" "Pfc. Well, I was a major, so you're gonna listen to me if for no other reason than I outrank you." "But mostly because we have this in common." "I served, just like you." "I did two tours as a surgeon with an army forward surgical team." "I gave what I had to offer." "So did you." "I patched up guys." "I can no more, you know, re-jigger a hard drive -- reformat." "What?" "Reformat a hard drive." "[ Chuckles ]" "You gave what you had to give." "You served." "And you deserve all the help and gratitude that's offered to you." "But if you think that by accepting this help you're taking it away from the next guy, you are wrong." "But there are so many guys out there." "If you want to make sure these guys get help," "I have friends at the v.A." "You can volunteer." "There's so much you can do, but to start, you have to get up on your own feet." "That is how you help." "That is how you serve." "Understood?" "Yes, sir." "[ Siren wailing in distance ]" "Maggie:" "Starting the neck incision." "How old did this guy say he was again?" "Miranda: 42." "He's got the esophagus of an 80-year-old." "You went jogging?" "Yes, I jogged -- half a mile, and now I can barely walk, and that's embarrassing enough without you acting like I took a rocket to the moon!" "You shouldn't be embarrassed." "I hope you don't give up." "The thing is, no matter when you start something like this, it's gonna be hard." "Just, you have to start." "And take baby steps." "Is that a short joke?" "[ Monitor beeping rapidly ] B.P.'S dropping." "What the -- that's a third-degree a.V. Block." "We need to try to pace him." "Dr. Bailey, can you -- no, I have his colon." "Okay, hold it, hold it!" "Bring the crash cart over for temporary pacing." "Too late -- he's coding." "Crap -- v-fib!" "[ Grunts ]" "Dr. Warren, get the paddles and charge to 150." "[ Beeping continues ]" "Clear!" "[ Beeping continues ]" "Restart cpr." "Push one of epi, push one of atropine!" "[ Beeping continues ]" "Hold compressions!" "[ Beeping continues ]" "No, it's not too late." "Oh, it can't be too late!" "Go again!" "Clear!" "No." "No." "We did everything we could." "Go again." "Clear." "Jeremy died during surgery." "I'm so sorry." "It was supposed to be heartburn." "It was just heartburn." "It was supposed to be heartburn!" "How could this happen?" "!" "Shh!" "[ Crying ] How could this happen?" "!" "No!" "No, no, no!" "Hey." "You done soon?" "Let's go home." "[ Sighs ] You mean, go to your house." "What?" "Well, it's your house." "I just crash there, right?" "I mean, you never asked me to move in." "You never complained but never..." "Did I do something?" "'Cause I feel like I'm in trouble." "No, I'm in trouble 'cause when this changes I don't have anyplace to be." "God..." "I used to be so careful." "Wait, um..." "What's changing?" "I-I-I thought we were good." "Yes, but it all changes, Alex." "It always does." "You can't hold on to anything that you don't want to lose." "Right now, I feel like I have..." "A bed and a house." "And it is so good." "But my bed isn't my bed." "It's your bed." "And I hate that I don't want to lose it." "[ Sighs ]" "Hey." "Look at me." "You got me." "I swear to God." "I'm not going anywhere except home with you." "[ Chuckles ]" "Come on." "Let's go home." "[ Chuckles softly ]" "Did you take the pot roast out of the oven?" "Uh, I shut the oven off because I don't want that thing to get cold." "I'll take it out." "Really?" "You're not really a chef." "And you are?" "I'm better than you." "Why would you say something like that?" "Because you called the pot roast a "thing."" "But it's not true." "You're not better than me." "Have you ever cooked a meal before?" "Okay, wait, time-out." "Well?" "Well, what?" "You called a time-out." "You have to say something when you call a time-out." "That's how it out works." "It is not a mute button." "It is right now." "That's not how it works." "I need a time-out!" "I need a break -- from you, from the fighting, from the pot roast because the table isn't set." "The candles aren't lit." "The guests are gonna arrive in 30 minutes." "I still need to take a shower." "I need a time-out!" "Don't look at me like that." "I could use a shower, too." "How's the baby book?" "Um..." "It's the scariest thing I've ever read." "I was a jerk today." "Yeah, you were." "Uh, so, this is the part where you say," ""no, you weren't the jerk." "I was the jerk."" "Yeah, but I wasn't, and you were." "[ Laughs ]" "Get up." "I want to sit down." "Okay." "[ Chuckles ]" "[ Clears throat ]" "Hmm?" "[ Sighs ]" "Right?" "You built this?" "Twice, actually." "I'm pretty sure there's something wrong with the directions." "It's perfect." "You did a good job." "You're gonna be a great daddy." "Thank you." "Thank you." "I'm dying." "I'm just gonna drop dead." "Oh, we've talked about you reading horror stories before bed." "I don't want to get punched in the middle of the night because you're having nightmares." "I ran my labs yesterday after we found Mr. Weaver's tumor." "Look, ldl cholesterol -- 178." "Hdl -- 26." "Triglycerides -- 320." "Glucose -- 152." "Well, this explains the jogging." "I'm such a hypocrite." "I tell people every day how important it is to eat right and to exercise." "I just think I'm saying it so much, I-I'm not hearing it." "You're not dying." "The numbers aren't great, but -- no, I have to make some changes." "[ Sighs ] Starting now." "But -- but not right now." "You go for a jog right this second," "I don't think you'd ever be able to walk again." "Ow!" "Okay, I [Chuckles]" "I did mention not wanting to be punched, didn't I?" "Yeah, uh, but it's good cardio." "[ Stammers ]" "Oh, like that really hurt." "That hurt?" "[ Water running ]" "Meredith:" "The abcs of trauma are a handy tool for keeping a patient alive." "But they're only a starting point." "Hi?" "Oh." "Uh, hello." "Um, I just rang the bell." "No one answered." "Um, they did say 8:00, right?" "They did, yeah." "The table is set." "Yeah, it is." "It's... strange." "Once the patient's airway, breathing, and circulation are all clear and accounted for, the real work begins -- the messy work." "I brought wine." "I'm an alcoholic." "[ Wings flapping ]" "[ Clears throat ]" "This was a mistake." "I'm gonna go." "Look, I screwed up!" "I-I-I screwed up." "I-I'm sorry." "Look, 31 years ago, I had a kid." "And nobody told me." "I've known you for only, what, two months." "Two months." "Most parents mess up a lot in those first few months, and it's fine because t-their kid's too young to -- to notice or remember." "But you " " I hurt you, and I-I-I know that." "And all I want to do..." "Is just take it back, okay?" "You've got the wrong idea." "I'm not angry with you for being a bad father." "You're not my dad." "You are just a man who slept with a woman and made it possible for me to be born." "[ Scoffs ] My dad is my present." "You are my past." "You are my genetic history." "I didn't need you to be a good father." "I just needed you to be honest with me..." "From the start, instead of letting me walk around here for weeks like a fool, without a clue, letting me confide in you." "¶ ..." "look at yourself, look at yourself ¶" "I didn't know what to do." "¶ Baby, look at us now, look at us now ¶ and I'll never be anything but sorry for that." "There's no telling how long it's going to take to clean up that chaos..." "Okay." "Good night." "...once you've begun..." "[ Laughs ] Sorry." "I think I must've lost track of time." "I hope you brought a, uh, an appetite." "...because sometimes you don't know what you're in for." "[ Sighs ] Can I talk to you?" "Actually, I wanted to talk to you." "Dr. Herman, I wasn't kidding when I said that I -- that I -- that I wanted this fellowship, and today's surgery only confirmed that more for me." "Close the door." "[ Sighs ]" "But no matter how much I need or want this fellowship," "I refuse to spend the year with you speaking to me the way that you speak to me." "We won't have a year together." "Fine." "Great." "Thanks." "I'll be dead in six months." "You don't know exactly what you're about to face." "I have a brain tumor." "It's inoperable." "I thought I had longer, but it's growing." "Soon, I will show symptoms, and after that, I will die." "Who knows about this?" "Hunt?" "Uh, anyone?" "Fetal surgery is a new field." "The few of us who are practicing it are basically inventing it as we go along." "The things I know, the things I scribble down in the margins, no one has them." "They're not in any textbook." "They're only in my brain." "So I can fight to write papers and try to get them published, or I can use the time I have left to try to teach you a year's worth of medicine in six months." "Or..." "You can tell hunt and the board, and it all goes away forever." "You don't know what secrets the body in front of you holds..." "I don't know how to feel about this." "Well, hurry up and decide." "We don't have any time to waste." "...and whether, by the time it's all over, if there's anything left worth saving."