"take it to the top!" "are we gonna stop?" "No way!" "No way!" "Cheer squad roll call!" "– Heidi!" "– Nicole!" "– Bebe!" "– Lola!" "– Red!" "– Annie!" "Lisa Burger." "God." "– Here we go." "Could we maybe try one without Lisa Berger?" "stop it!" "but you need to have more confidence." "– But I'm the fat one." "– What?" "and that's me." "Lisa." "You have a bad self-image." "Just project all your sassiness to all the boys out there." "There's only one boy that Lisa cares about." "– Lisa has a crush on Butters." "– Shut up!" "that's great!" "Have you told Butters you like him?" "No way." "I'd just get made fun of." "This is exactly what you need." "Take Butters to see a movie." "It'll do wonders for your confidence. and the lady takes out a gun and puts it in his face and says..." "Butters." "I was just wondering if maybe you'd like to go to a movie this weekend." "Lisa." "but you're too fat for me." "OK." "Thanks." "Lisa!" "Butters got asked out by a fat girl." "she didn't try to sit on him." "come on." "That's not cool." "You shouldn't rip on her because she's fat." "You should rip on her because she's ugly." "She looks like someone hit her in the face with a hot shovel." "Wendy." "Are you just an asshole?" "Is that it?" "Am I just an asshole?" "I've got arms and legs." "I've got everything." "Lisa Burger asked you out and you called her fat?" "Do you have any idea how you made her feel?" "She's really nice!" "I think she's nice too." "She's just too big for me. but that's normal for a girl in the fourth grade!" "and she just had a baby!" "I have a different standard when it comes to my women. and perfect everything." "you moron!" "You ever heard of Photoshop? and makes average girls feel horrible about themselves." "stupid!" "Kim Kardashian has the body of a hobbit." "You're gonna be in real trouble when the teachers find out what you said to that poor girl." "Wendy." "and I need to get to the bottom of it." "Lisa Burger told on you?" "Good!" "you called Butters' girlfriend a hobbit." "Are you serious?" "and she's a hobbit!" "That's not his girlfriend." "It's Kim Kardashian!" "But Kim Kardashian is considered to be extremely beautiful." "Right." "But she's not in real life." "She's a hobbit." "She said it again! but a woman's outward appearance isn't all that matters. you're jel?" "I'm not jel." "I happen to be the biggest feminist at this school. between being a feminist and being a hater." "because nobody likes a girl who's jelly." "there's been some hurtful and hateful things being said around this school." "we're gonna hear from a guest speaker. please welcome Aquaman." "That's right." "I'm not Aquaman." "I'm a recovering gay fish." "I have met Aquaman." "I have hung out with Aquaman." "But the only thing I have in common with Aquaman anymore is my love for the sea. there have been malicious rumors started at this elementary school that my beautiful fiancée is a hobbit." "all right?" "Kim is heavier than most of her pictures show her to be." "she gets her hair lasered off her body." "she has a friend named Gandalf who happens to be a wizard." "I'm sorry." "Excuse me a minute." "how you not the hobbit again?" "Right." "OK." "Let me..." "OK." "I got it." "Love you too. then how come... then how come she don't live in a hole in the ground?" "cup!" "She don't live in no hole in no ground." "She lives in a big-ass mansion with me." "In her room that is slightly below ground." "you can... and she smokes a pipe." "and..." "Hold up." "right?" "You smoke that long pipe sometimes when you sit by the fire." "Got it." "What do you call it?" "Got it." "Love you too." "for your information. to keep the wrinkles around her mouth from showing." "ha!" "you don't!" "You're not trapping me inside the computer lab to beat me up." "Would you let me show you something so we can put this behind us?" "I'll scream." "so we can better understand each other." "right? and... there." "– That's Lisa Burger?" "– Do you see what I'm talking about?" "– She's pretty!" "– That's how people like Kim Kardashian destroy the self-image of little girls everywhere!" "are you saying that girl wants to go out with me?" "– What do you mean?" "– And I said no? and then go tell her I love her!" "Anybody seen Lisa Burger?" "Have you seen Lisa Burger?" "I saw that picture of her on the Internet. and we're gonna be together and be happy forever." "but..." "Lisa Burger's going out with Clyde." "What?" "Since when?" "Since like noon or 12:30 today." "Check out my girlfriend." "– She's hot." "– We just started dating seriously." "You wanna meet my new girlfriend?" "– You're a lucky guy!" "– I know." "dude." "guys." "Did you see Clyde's going out with Lisa Burger?" "She looks amazing." "Clyde sent me her pics." "– She got really hot all of a sudden." "– I wouldn't mind tapping that ass." "Excuse me." "– Clyde sent me these." "Don't be jel." "– Why would I be jel?" "You gotta admit." "Lisa Burger's pretty hot." "She's not hot." "That's supposed to be the point!" "She looks pretty hot here." "Lisa Burger is not hot!" "She's fat and ugly." "– That's not very nice." "– What's your problem?" "Lisa." "– You're just a hater." "Mind your own business instead of being jelly." "I am not jelly!" "I made that picture to prove a point!" "babe." "Girls like that will always put you down." "babe. because you've always been a good student." "But calling a little girl fat and ugly is never m'kay." "I was trying to show kids that..." "No excuses." "You have a problem being jelly." "Just maybe I should have you sent off to Jelly School." "Jelly School?" "I'm gonna call the Jelly School right now!" "but it's gone too far." "is this the Jelly School?" "I have a girl here who's extremely jelly." "Can you take her in for a few weeks?" "You're full?" "but she better watch her behavior." "I appreciate the point you're trying to make." "You do?" "I'm not actually on the phone with the Jelly School." "I'm a few steps ahead of that." "I'm just trying to..." "Jelly School." "I'm just trying to make you understand how serious it is when you lash out at other girls." "Mr. Mackey." "I will change. it is my honor to give the Person of the Year award Pope Francis." "All of my children... but hold up." "I just gotta say this." "then... bitch? then how come she don't turn blue when goblins are near?" "then!" "She must be a beautiful sexy woman! just his sword does." "you hobbit trivia bitch!" "Who the fuck asked you?" "all right?" "She is gorgeous. called The Hobbit." "Hold up." "that movie you got coming out is called The Hobbit?" "but..." "It's what?" "I got it." "Let me tell them." "Love you too." "Kim is not even in that movie. a show about short loud little people living in a fantasy world." "Hold up. 'cause I'm making a fool of myself out here." "take it to the top!" "are we gonna stop?" "No way!" "No way!" "Cheer squad roll call!" "– Heidi!" "– Nicole!" "– Bebe!" "– Lola!" "– Red!" "– Annie!" "Lisa Burger!" "Wendy!" "We're all very happy for Lisa." "Nobody here is jelly." "But the boys don't even notice the rest of us anymore." "All we're asking is you do for us what you did for Lisa." "you guys." "I'm sorry." "– Don't you care about us?" "Because it's wrong." "that's your problem." "girls." "Don't be sad." "you just gotta be willing to sweat." "Get down to the gym and work!" "we're gonna trim that fat and tone those bodies." "Let's do this." "You first." "Get right up there." "look here." "burn it off!" "You got this!" "Wanna look pretty?" "You want a boyfriend?" "You want a nice ass?" "slut!" "You want nice things?" "You want boys to give you nice things?" "slut!" "Look at those thighs." "You gotta push harder!" "slut!" "Party in the cookie trough!" "whore!" "– She looks great." "– Look at Bebe." "– I had no idea Bebe was that hot." "– But did you see Token's girlfriend?" "– My bitch is still the hottest." "– No way." "Go back to Annie Nelson." "She's built like a Slim Jim." "Annie Nelson is the hottest girl." "Look at those eyes!" "Did you not see Erica Smith's boobs?" "They're like perfect water balloons." "I do love water balloons." "Can I ask you a big favor?" "and..." "I wanna show everyone how pretty you are." "You want a photoshopped picture of me to take away any imperfections?" "How dare you?" "Why is it such a big deal?" "People should be OK with the way they look!" "I have pimples on my forehead." "My bottom teeth are crooked." "So what?" "– You have short legs!" "– I do?" "and Billy Turner has narrow shoulders." "The cheerleaders?" "Bebe has acne." "Lola's arms are too short." "Nicole's eyes are puffy." "Annie has thin hair." "And Heidi Turner's butt is flat!" "– Goddammit." "– You... hater!" "right now!" "my girl ain't no hobbit that don't mean she a hobbit 'cause she couldn't be" "She's got no Bagginses in her family tree she hangs out with her dwarf friends" "But she never went on no quest with her dwarf friends she went to kill that dragon" "She took his skull and she..." "Hang on." "I'm sorry." "remember when you went off to kill that dragon with them dwarves?" "Right." "I got it." "Love you too." "so my girl ain't no hobbit and my bitch went to rob it" "'Cause they got that ham that she rubs on her cellulite" "While she drinking' her grog and singin' those merry songs" "At night" "My girl ain't no hobbit" "Please God tell me I'm not engaged to no hobbit" "Who are you yelling for?" "South Park!" "cows!" "Who are you yelling for?" "South Park!" "cows!" "Heidi!" "Nicole!" "Bebe!" "Lola!" "Red!" "Annie!" "Lisa Burger!" "Wendy." "God!" "– Can we try this without Wendy?" "– I agree." "you guys!" "She just needs more confidence." "Wendy." "Who cares if no one likes you." "Maybe you should go out with Butters." "Let's just get back to cheering." "I don't think so." "We don't wanna cheer with a hater!" "You have a bad self-image." "You need to get down to the gym and get a better one." "That's right! is that you start to believe in your own bullshit!" "This has gone way too far." "I will!" "What will you do?" "Something that should have been done a long time ago." "285)}It's the morning News with Tom and Tammy Thompson." "A little girl is making big waves with her fight against Photoshop. saying they're harmful to young girls." "what is your message? 285)}little girls are aspiring to have bodies they can't possibly have!" "275)}We have to put a stop to it." "275)}And you're not just being a hater?" "girls who aren't well-liked lash out at pretty and popular girls." "275)}Are you well-liked at your school?" "275)}Not lately." "275)}But you're not being jelly?" "285)}That has nothing to do with me protesting against photoshopped images." "285)}Because I do understand that the Jelly School in Aurora" "Rick?" "I'm standing in front of the Jelly School 285)}where officials claim they do have room for this little hater girl." "285)}We're being told if she doesn't stop... 285)}That's not a Jelly School." "That's a Dunkin' Donuts." "275)}But you are a hater." "275)}That's fine!" "People can call me whatever names they want to." "and I'm not going to rest until photoshopped images are required to be labeled for what they are: fake." "And nothing in his world is going to stop me." "What do you want? there was a little hobbit who lived in the forest." "And all the hobbit ever wanted was to be beautiful. she could be pretty like Beyoncé." "along came a magic powder called Photoshop." "poof!" "The little hobbit was beautiful. the little hobbit was looked up to and loved... just like Beyoncé! and a hip-hop fiancé who loved her very much." "I'm sorry." "Hold up." "Hold up." "I'm sorry. she was so jelly of the hobbit that she told everyone she was a liar." "And the hobbit's fiancé realized she was just a hobbit." "And you know what he said?" "I don't care!" "Then the jelly monster tried to take the powder away from the little hobbit." "So the hobbit prayed to God." "little hobbit. and I will read her a story and melt her icy heart." "thank you. "'cause I love her so much." "I'm sorry." "Hold up..." "I'm sorry." "– I'm sorry that I've been jelly." "– It's OK." "and I really am sorry." "That's OK." "I've been jelly before too."