" [Gasps] An antique cookie jar?" "Oh, Jenny, you are the best sister ever." "Ooh, it's a waterstone." "[Gasps] Love, love, love it!" " Hey, Louie." "Want to hang out?" "I have a new invention you might want to see." " No can do, frankzilla." "Today's the day Teddy Monroe is coming over." " Who's Teddy Monroe?" " Are you serious?" "Teddy." "The coolest ghost in my school." "We're gonna play the ultimate ghost fantasy card game... ghoultopia." " That game sounds lame." " You're lame!" "[Exhales] Now, if you'll excuse me," "I'll be in my room getting my cool on." "A dolphin?" "[Shrill vocalizing]" "Don't say a word." " Oh, Taylor." "Wanna see my new invention?" " Can't today." "I'm tutoring someone." " You don't have to lie to me." "You could've just said no." " I'm serious." "I'm tutoring this super cute guy Todd in French." " But you don't speak French." " Neither does he, so he'll never know." "Brilliant, non?" " Non." "Mother, mother, mother." "I'm bored." " Frankie, Frankie, Frankie." "I'm working." " But I have no one to play with." " Well, what about Miles?" " [Laughs]" "Oh, you're serious." " Come on." "Miles is cool." " Ladies, check it out." "It's Dwayne "the sock" Johnson." "[Imitating Dwayne johnson] "Sorry, lieutenant," ""but I can't let those lowlifes blow up a factory." "This Christmas, the children get their bowties."" " See?" "Cool." "So, Miles, Frankie here is looking for someone to play with." " "12 years on the beat, and they hand me a rookie." "Grab some cushion."" " Sorry, detective, but you're calling in sick." "I've got other plans." "I call it..." "The cake-a-pult." "Observe." "Yes!" " Frankie, that's dangerous." "And offensive to clowns!" "I want no part of it." " I knew you were no fun." " [Gasps] Excuse me?" "[Gasps] I'm a hoot!" "Let's see." "Do I need safety goggles?" " No." "Launch the bagel." " [Exhales]" "[Object shatters]" " Mom's cookie jar!" " [Screams]" " Are you done?" " Not yet." "[Screaming]" "[Spooky rock music]" " ¶ If you move into a haunted house ¶" "¶ you gotta try to work things out ¶" " ¶ so if you're living with a ghost or three ¶" " ¶ you gotta be one big, semi-scary family ¶" " ¶ don't know how we ended up this way ¶" " ¶ but I guess you could call us ¶" " ¶ the Haunted Hathaways" "¶ the Haunted Hathaways" " ¶ the Haunted Hathaways" "¶" " ¶ the Haunted Hathaways" "¶" " [screaming]" "This is bad." "This is so bad." " Miles, you have to calm down." " Michelle loved that antique jar." "It's a waterstone." "A waterstone!" "What's a waterstone?" " Relax." "I know exactly what to do." " Confess to Michelle." " Cover up the crime." " What?" "We can't do that!" " My cake-a-pult, your bagel." "We're in this together." "[Bell dings] Here she comes!" "Follow my lead." "[Broken pieces clatter]" " Everything okay, Miles?" " He's fine, aren't you, Miles?" " Yes!" "Fine!" "Everything's fine!" " So I need to run a few errands, pick up a nice thank-you card for Aunt Jenny." "Back in a bit." " Okeydokey." "You're so pretty." " Oh." "My little angel." "[Bell jingles]" " I can't believe it." "I lied to Michelle!" "Even my sock puppet won't look at me." " Miles, if mom finds out about her cookie jar, she's gonna ground us for a month." "I don't know about you, but I can't do that kind of time." " Fine." "What are you proposing?" " We put this baby back together." "I've got glue that can repair anything." " Even the tattered reputation of a once-honest ghost boy?" " Doubt it, but I'll check the label." " Dead flowers, creepy skulls, fresh spider webs?" "Are you expecting company?" " Sure am." "Teddy'll be here any second." "Dude's a master ghoultopia player." "I've had this play date on the books for weeks." "And today, I wow him with my cool factor." " Shouldn't have a problem with that." "I mean, after all, you are my son." "[Laughs]" " Dad, you got toilet paper on your shoe." " And I'm totally making it work." "Agh, agh!" " Pow!" " Aah!" "Oh, man, you are good." " I do what I do." "Like the creepy digs, Preston." "Got your ghoultopia cards?" "'Cause I am ready to take you down!" " Ray, you know French, right?" "Oh, sorry, didn't know you had your little friend over." "Where's your dad?" " Not here." "Go away." "Boo!" " Sorry, Mr. cranky pants." "Ooh, a beret!" "I'm pretty sure that's French." "I'm totally borrowing it." " Sorry about that annoyance, Teddy." "That was just..." " the most beautiful creature I've ever seen." " Excuse me?" "Taylor?" " Taylor." " Teddy?" "Teddy." "Oh, you gotta be kidding me." " Miles." "Prepare to be wowed." " Agh!" " So you're saying mom will notice?" " Only if she has eyeballs." " Well, I guess that means plan "b."" "Remove her eyeballs." " No!" "No more plans." "The only thing left to do is beg for forgiveness and somehow try and rebuild our lives." " Or we can go out and buy the exact same jar and replace it." " Are you crazy?" "Where in the world are we gonna find an exact..." " 455 Mercer street." "The address of the local dealer who carries waterstone jars." " What about money, Frankie?" " I'll handle that." "What I need is time." " Aah!" "She's coming back." "I'm literally going to pass out." " Just create the ghost illusion of the jar." "I'll take care of the rest." " If she tries to touch it, her hand will go right through." " Just do it!" " No!" "This madness must end!" " You sicken me!" "[Bell jingles]" " Hey, you." " Hello." " Hey!" "I just bought the best thank-you card for my sis." "It plays music when you open it." "[Upbeat '80s music playing]" " Mom." "Mom!" "Aunt Jenny hates those musical cards." "She told me." " Hmm." "Well, maybe I should go get another and keep this funky jam for myself." " Before you go, we're thinking about going to the movies and need some money." " Oh." " 40 bucks should do it." " Oof, that's a little pricey." "What movie are you going to?" " Uh, that new thriller, why must children lie?" " No, we're seeing shut up and don't be a twit." "It's much better." " Oh." "Well, you two have fun." "[Upbeat '80s music playing]" "[Magical whoosh]" " [Sighs] Two lies in one day." "I'm out of control!" " It gets easier, man." "It gets easier." " Oh, good, ray." "Can you help me learn French before my student gets here?" " You don't know French, and you're teaching it?" " Why is everyone so hung up on that?" " Teddy, where are you going?" "The game was just getting started." " Would you say her hair is brown mocha or warm Chestnut?" " What is happening?" " Teddy Monroe is the scariest, most feared ghost in school." " Looks like Teddy has a major case of the Taylors." " What does he see in Taylor?" "The girl can't even remove her own head." " Can I help you?" " Has anyone ever told you you have eyes?" " I sort of knew that." " Uh, Taylor's very busy and can't be disturbed." "Isn't that right, Taylor?" " I don't know." "I'm just hanging out until my "estudiant arrivos"?" " Spanish." " Took a shot." "[Clears throat]" " [Gasps]" "Even your cough is gorgeous." "Sounds like tay-tay needs some wa-wa." "Be right back." " What was that?" " That was my entire day of fun being ruined because of you!" " What did I do?" " You were pretty!" " Aww, that's so sweet." "Awful." "Just awful." "Darn my incredible beauty." " I said pretty." "[Screams]" " What's become of me?" "Out on the mean streets, on the run from Johnny law." " Look!" " It's identical." "Let's buy that one." " Ya think?" "Hello." "What a nice place you got here." "Good for you." " You hear that, world?" "A nine-year-old has validated my life choices." "Whee." " 50 bucks, huh?" "Oh, I only have 40." "Do you have a cute kids discount?" " Yes." " [Sighs]" "Miles, I don't have time to haggle." "Jump into captain smiles and possess him so I can buy that jar for 40 bucks." " Possess someone against their will?" " Yes, or I'm going to pin this whole broken jar thing on you." " Are you blackmailing me?" " No, I'm threatening to put this all on you if you don't do what I say." " That's blackmail." " Oh." "Then yeah!" " [Groans] Okay, fine." "But this is it." "Let's get this over with." " Great." "Hello, kind sir." "Here is 40 dollars for this lovely jar." " Great, I'll just wrap it up for you." "This really is an amazing piece." " She's a beaut." "Tag her and bag her." " Look at the intricate details of these lotus leaves." "It's magnificent." "Sorry, 100 bucks." "Take it or leave it." " You're upping the price?" " This shop owner is insane!" "I mean me." "I'm crazy." "Whoo!" " May I see you for a second?" "Do you mind explaining to me what that was?" " Um, being a responsible business owner." " Ugh, and now that guy's buying our cookie jar." " [Gasps] Oh, no!" "Our jar!" "This time..." "It's the real deal." "We can't let him leave." "Lock the door." " Haven't we committed enough felonies for one day?" " Do it!" " [Sighs]" "[Magical whoosh]" " I know how to handle this." "We have to get him back to the bakery and away from all these security cameras." " I'm not liking where this is going." " Don't worry." "It's all on the up and up." "All I need is a pair of dark glasses and an unmarked van." " Wait." "I think I've got a less kidnap-y way to get him there." "[Magical whoosh]" " "Free slice of pie at pie squared for anyone wearing an ugly green shirt."" "[Laughs] Cha-ching!" "My lucky day!" "[Door lock clicks]" " All right, time to get this day back on track." "Teddy, your roll." "There you go!" "Double sixes." "You know what that means." " Yep." "Lose a turn and go straight to Taylor's room." "Laters!" " This is becoming tiresome." "[Grunting]" "Oh, come on!" "[Knock at door]" " It's okay." "They're not in here." " Ray, I feel terrible." "I messed up Louie's entire day." "Darn these good looks." " You're enjoying this." " Little bit." " You know, there was this time when I had to downplay..." "This." "So I used this ghost illusion to make myself as repulsive as possible." " That's genius." "Can you do that to me?" "Are you that powerful?" " I think I got it." "[Snap]" "[Whoosh]" " Well, did it work?" " Oh, I'm good." "Maybe too good." "Ugh!" " Let's see how Teddy likes me now." " When the guy gets here, I'll handle "negotiations."" " You air-quoted that." "Why would you air-quote that?" "How deep does this rabbit hole go?" " Keep a lookout for my mom." "If you see her coming, give me a signal." " Okay, I'll yell out types of pudding." " Of course you will." "Hello, sir." "What a repulsive shirt." "You must have seen our flyer." " Sure did." "How about a slice of apple?" " Our specialty." "Hey, nice jar." " I know." "I'm gonna use it to store all the notes" "I get from my granddaughter." "She calls me pappy." " Pappy?" " Perhaps I could trade you that jar for, say, two whole pies?" " Make it ten." " Five and a pie squared t-shirt." " Deal." " I'll just go get those pies." " Frankie, that was awesome." "We're actually going to get away with this." "[Chuckles]" "Whap!" " Ow!" " Pappy?" " Come on, Teddy." "Let's finish our game." " Does Taylor like daisies?" " Hey, guys." " Yahhh!" "What happened to you?" " What do you mean?" "This is the real me." "Earlier I was wearing makeup and fake teeth." " Yep, this is how we see Taylor every day." "We even set extra places at the table for her moles." " I call this one Suzie." " Taylor, you look..." "Different." "The fact that you're showing me who you really are makes you even more beautiful." " Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" " Taylor, you wanna join us in a few games of ghoultopia?" " Is that some ghost game?" " Some ghost..." "Taylor, ghoultopia is the most popular fantasy card game around." " [Chuckles] Well, you know what?" "Sounds stupid." " You're stupid!" " Well, I think it's a dumb, dopey, boring game!" " Louie, perhaps we can go to the attic where there'll be fewer annoyances." " If you say so." " I don't know how you can live with that girl." " Eh, she's not so bad." "[Silent] Thank you!" " So what's the plan?" " I got nothin'." " You've got to have something." " Mom will be back any second." "I can explain a lot of things, but I'm not this good." "Hate to say it, Miles, but it's over." " Are you kidding?" "If we stop, all the terrible things we did today were for what?" "Nothing?" " Are you okay?" " Hmph, I want better than okay." "You may have played all your cards, baby doll..." " [Silent] Baby doll?" " But me," "I'm still in the game." " Yoo-hoo!" " Uh, butterscotch, vanilla, banana cream!" " You distract Michelle." "I'll move chuckles here with my ghost powers." "Now, woman!" " [Squeaks]" "Hey, mom." " Oh." " Will you tell me a story?" " Oh, but I need to..." " Tell me about the day" "I was born." "Did I grab your finger?" " Oh." "It was a magical morning..." "[Fades out]" " Okay, where can we hide you?" " So that's the story of my birth." "And now we are entering the bakery." "[Magical whoosh]" " Oh, good movie, Miles?" " It was an emotional journey." " Nice work." "What'd you do with him?" "You stuck him in the pastry case?" "[Bell jingles]" " Oh, welcome to pie squared." "Frankie, step aside so she can see." "F.Y.I., everything in this case is baked fresh daily." "Frankie." " [Screams]" " What is she screaming about?" "[Screams]" " [Screams]" " [Gasps] What are you doing?" " What am i doing?" "I was supposed to get free pie." "And a t-shirt!" "You people are nuts." " What was that?" "If you still want a t-shirt, go to our website!" " We did it." "We pulled it off!" " We did do it!" "Whew, what a rush." "I could get used to this bad boy lifestyle." " I'm sorry you two had to see that, but... but it's a good lesson." "There are some crazy people out there." " He wasn't crazy." "He was pappy, an innocent, loving granddad who we callously used to replace a cookie jar we viciously broke." " Way to go, bad boy." " You two are responsible for this?" " Sorry, mom." "I know how much you liked that jar." " You both are so grounded." "F.Y.I., I hated that cookie jar." " What?" " Excuse me?" " People are always buying me cookie jars." ""Oh!" "She owns a bakery!" "It's a perfect gift!"" "I have 500 of them." "Wish I'd opened a jewelry store." "So grounded." " [Sighs] Sorry." "I just couldn't keep lying." " It's okay." "I still had fun today." " Me too." " Hey, you want to see a slingshot I made out of licorice?" " Not even a little." " Turns out you didn't need all of this." "He just needed to talk to you." " I know." "Now I got less than ten minutes to learn French and..." " gah!" " Todd, you're early!" " I think I'll learn German instead." "Close!" "Close, quickly, close!" " I like this look." "Keeps the boys away." "[Laughs]" " Ray!"