"Northwest of Scotland, on the broad expanse of the Atlantic, lie the lovely islands of the Outer Hebrides, small scattered patches of sand and rock rising out of the ocean." "To the west there is nothing, except America." "The inhabitants scrape a frugal living from the sea, the sand and the low lying hills of coarse grass and peat bog." "A happy people with few and simple pleasures!" "The little island of Todday is a completely isolated community a hundred miles from the mainland." "A hundred miles from the nearest cinema or dancehall" "But the islanders know how to enjoy themselves." "They have all that they need." "But in 1943, disaster overwhelmed this little island" "Not famine nor pestilence." "Nor Hitler's bombs, or the hordes of an invading army." "But something far, far... worse!" "There is no whisky!" "Whisky, Uisge Beatha." "In Gaelic they call it "The Water of Life"" "And, to a true islander, life without it is not worth living." "From that day every man went into mourning." "Mourning for a departed spirit!" "He went terrible quick at the end." "What was I to do?" "With every bottle in the bar chock full of nothing" "Do you think Winston Churchill will be knowing that the government has run out of whisky?" "I don't believe he will" "It is a pity he will not be saying something about it on the wireless." "Aye." "It's a terrible war right enough!" "Do you remember the sabbath, the day the war started?" "Nobody on the island could mind such a storm of rain." "It was a sign." "A sign of what was coming to us." "Water" "Just nothing but water." "Ah well." "I must be going." "I could have done with a dram myself this evening." "I've had a terrible shock." " What was that?" " You'd better be asking George here" "What have you been doing to Joseph?" "I asked Catriona to marry me." "What did she say?" "She said "yes"" "Is that the mails ready?" "Yes father" "Sticklips and cigarettes." "Your mother would have more sense!" "You'll not have to worry about me much longer." "Or Peggy either I'm thinking." "You're not married yet." "Are you not going down to the pier?" "Why would I?" "I thought this was the day your Sergeant is arriving" "My Sergeant?" "I don't know what you are talking about." "There it is!" "Tightest little island in the world!" "You'll be finding a few changes, Sergeant!" "You've been away from us for some time." "Two years, three months." "Well, well!" "Is it as long as that?" "In Africa, eh?" " That's right" " Africa." "Now that is a place I have never been." "Ah well." "They'll be glad to see you back." "Do you think so?" "Aye." "The Home Guard amusements are not the same without you" "I hear they've been getting a bit stale lately" "That's Captian Waggett's nonsense." "Surely it's up to you constable?" "You know: "the long arm of the law"" "You must insist on Captain MacKechnie taking those boxes of ammunition back to the mainland." "Doesn't he know there's a war on?" "He says it is aboard of trade regulation." "What time's this other boat expected?" "I do not think it will be expected at all Mr Waggett" "What is it dear?" "I'm going down to the pier" "Is anything the matter Paul?" "You look worried." "Captain MacKechnie refuses to take the ammunition back when the mails' onboard" "But he always has the mails onboard hasn't he dear?" "Exactly." "I was not really expecting anything." "I just came down in case there was a chance." "I'll be getting back to my boat, Joseph." "You'll be waiting for the mails?" "Just a lot of letters for nothing." "Well how's yourself Mr. Macroon?" "None too well, Sergeant, none too well." "Oh I'm sorry to hear that!" "Nothing wrong with the family I hope?" "Peggy and Catriona I mean." "And what would be wrong with them?" "They're fine, just fine." "Both of them smoking away like two chimneys." "One of them thinks she's going to marry herself." " Peggy?" " I believe it will be" "What are you saying Joseph?" "It's Catriona that is going to marry George Campbell." "Aye, Maybe it is." "Well that's great news!" "Something like that it!" "Amn't I after telling you dozen times, Mr Waggett, that I cannot accept explosives on this ship!" "Captain MacKechnie it is my duty to see that I am in a state of full defence." "How can I defend myself if my cartridges do not fit my rifles?" "It would be a bit awkward, right enough." "Awkward?" "It's more than awkward!" "This kind of thing lead to the full of France." "A rule is a rule and a regulation is a regulation." "The ammunition arrived on the Island Queen!" "Yes Yes, but Captain MacKechnie did not know then that they was explosives." "If I had known I'd have never have brought them." "Don't you understand that I cannot get any .300" "ammunition from ordinance until this .303 gets back?" "I had a wire from Obaig this morning." " Yes?" "Sergeant welcome back." " Can I be of any help sir?" " No!" "Would it be all the same if you sent back the .300" "rifles and kept the .303 ammunition?" "Then you could ask them to send the .300 rifles so that we could use..." "It would not be the same thing at all!" "I'd rather have rifle and no ammunition than ammunition and no rifles." "If I could make a suggestion, sir, we could leave the stuff at Mr Macroon's shop." "Then you could take it up with Headquarters." "Not without a guard!" "Now, finish of your compositions, children." "Don't make too much noise." "Is there anything the matter, mother?" "To think that I should be hearing from others that my own son is going to be married!" "George Campbell, is this true?" "Well, I only knew myself yesterday evening that Catriona was ..." "You mean to stand there that and tell me that you'd not been thinking of that girl until yesterday evening?" "Oh, I'd been thinking about her, yes!" "Then why was I kept in the dark about your thoughts?" "By the time I'd got back you'd gone to bed." "The bed I have made for myself and on which I must lie!" "This comes of spoiling my only child!" "Spoiling me?" "Spare the rod ..." " You never did - ... and spoil the child" "Now look mother what would have been the use of upsetting you and ..." "So you Knew that it would upset me!" "You knew it!" "But you went on all the same thinking only of yourself!" "You've always thought only of yourself." "How many times as a child have I caught you in the blackcurrants when you knew perfectly well that I wanted all the blackcurrants for my own jam" "Mother, if I bring Catriona to tea, will you be nice to her?" "The day you bring Catriona Macroon to this house" "I walk out!" "I'll go and live with your aunt in Glasgow" " But you hate Glasgow!" " Never mind!" ""The Lord Chastiseth them that he loveth"" "And who am I to set myself up against the Lord?" "There are more people in Snorvaig" "But they are not so nice as the people in Garryboo" "Because they are so stuck up." "The Island Queen is a beautiful boat but there was no Whisky this week." "And when there is no whisky, we are all very sad." "Come along, get a move on there!" "Not good enough you know!" "Every time they move that roadblock it's longer than the last!" "How do you account for that?" "Well I wouldn't say they are doing too badly you know It's pretty heavy sir." "All right Sergeant, we'll see it again." "Once again men!" "Move!" " It's very discouraging!" " Yes sir" "Just one point that did strike me, sir." "What's that?" "Well sir, if this is the only road around the island" "All that Gerry would need to do in theory would be to turn round and come in the other way." "Yes!" "I was wondering when you were going to think of that!" "You should have pointed that out to me before, Mr. Campbell." "Well it's easy enough to put it right, sir." "I mean to say, if you have them at all" "I'd suggest you put out a couple more roadblock that's all sir." " put that in hand - yes sir." "They've been getting appallingly slack lately." "When there was a chance of invasion they were keen enough" "Now the immediate danger of invasion has gone the keenness has gone, too." "Well, it's understandable, sir." "They are so unsporting!" "They don't do things for the sake of doing them like the English!" "We play the game for the sake of the game Other nations play the game for the sake of winning it." "I tried to introduce football onto the island" "With the greatest of difficulty I managed to get hold of a ball and presented it to the school." "Of course I was the referee." "I had to give a foul against the Garryboo team" "It was more than a foul - it was a deliberate assault!" "And what do you think happened?" "Young William Maclennon, the captain of the team" "Deliberately dribbled the ball to the touchline and kicked it into the sea!" "What on earth is all this nonsense?" "It is a roadblock, doctor!" "Open it up and let me through!" "We can't do that doctor!" "Waggett says you are a German tank!" "Look here, Waggett, what are you playing at?" "Playing?" "I'm not playing at anything!" "Then what's all this?" "It's a Home Guard exercise." "I should have thought that was obvious." "Well I've been up all night delivering Mrs. MacKinnon of twins and I want to get home" "So I'll be obliged if you move all this junk and let me through" "Twins?" "Yes, two girls it was." "What a poor soul!" "Two girls?" "What a calamity!" "And Jim safe away at sea!" "Doctor MacLaren!" "I am responsible for the defence of this island." "I think a man of your position should back me up instead of taking an obstructive attitude" "My obstructive attitude!" "Did I build this idiotic roadblock?" "Open the roadblock, Sergeant." "Right men," "Once again!" "Move!" "Come along, get a move on there." "Soldiers!" "It's a pity you cannot be staying longer." "Do you think it's a pity?" "We all think it's a pity." "Bit of luck getting sent here again." "I was getting pretty desperate" "I didn't think I was going to see you until   after the war perhaps." "Proper turn out for the Book, eh?" "I don't understand what you are saying." "It's a pity you haven't the Gaelic." "It's plain enough what I'm saying in any language" "Will you marry me, Peggy?" "What a thing to be asking anybody, Sergeant Odd!" "Couldn't you make it Fred?" "People would be thinking me terribly ignorant to be calling you Fred!" "You're so old." "I'm only 16 years older than what you are." "Seventeen!" "You've got it all worked out like a sum." "I suppose I ought to feel pleased it was worth your while!" "How many girls have you asked to marry you?" "I've never asked any girl to marry me!" "In fact I made a very particular point of not asking them" "Just made love to them." "Which you can't say I've done to you!" "Will you marry me, Peggy?" " Och!" "'Tis a foolishness!" " Anybody else?" "Anybody else where?" "Anybody else wants to marry you" "If you want to be cheeky you must be cheeky in the Gaelic" "If I was to say it in Gaelic you'd give me an answer?" "Perhaps I would, but you cannot be saying it, can you?" "Learning the Gaelic just to take the eyes out of me!" "It would be a shame to be so deceitful!" "Well ... what about it?" "If I'm not good enough to come to tea at your house then I'm not good enough to marry you." "I'll not be taking you from your mothers apron." "She doesn't know you are weaned." "Well it was a bit of a shock to her She'd feel the same about any girl!" "Any girl!" "If I'm just any girl to you, George Campbell You'll be any man to me." "But, look, let me explain ..." "Yes!" "Explain!" "Write it up on the blackboard!" "Your mother might be treating you like a baby but she'll not be treating me like one." "You hear that, doctor?" "Aye." "It'll be a ship out in the Minch." "I was hearing it as I came up the road." "And how are you feeling today?" "I'm not feeling like anything at all." "Just bones, that's all." "I brought you some tobacco." "Thank you, doctor." "My pipe is gone - fell to pieces on me." "And not a pipe to be bought" "And John MacCloud says he doesn't know when he'll be having another." "I don't believe the world has been in such a terrible mess since the Flood!" "We can't have you giving up smoking as well as everything else." "Here's a pipe of mine." "I couldn't be robbing you of your own pipe, doctor" "You're too kind altogether." "Doctor's orders." "I have another one." "Ah well ... it's yourself that is the doctor." "Right enough." "I only wish I could have brought you a dram to go with it" "I'd have liked fine to have just one more really good dram before I join the old woman!" "You've many years to live yet." "I know better, doctor." "but I mean no disrespect to you by that." "I'm looking at life just as I'm looking at my croft just now" "And seeing the fog coming creeping in from the sea and covering it up and turning it into just nothing at all." "It might clear, there is no telling." "Not before midnight I'm thinking." "It is the Sabbath tomorrow." "You'll be here 'til Monday." "Hark!" "Isn't that the bell on the Skerrydoo?" "I don't hear anything." "We must look out we don't get too near the islands." "I'm not going to put my ship on the Skerrydoo!" "I tell you we are nowhere near any island!" " I was sitting on broken glass for a week." "My father" " Shh!" "Listen!" "She's stopped." "It is queer, right enough!" "Is that you, Joseph?" "I've just been through to the Coastguard hut." "They say they caught a glimpse of her a few hours ago when the fog lifted." "What size of a ship was she?" "4000 ton." "I have a mind to go out to her." "it's not so thick now." "She'll be needing a pilot." " Will I come with you Biffer?" " Aye, come" "Isn't that asking for trouble?" "Ach!" "The Biffer knows every rock in Todday by it's name." "And it will be a big feather in his cap if he can put them on their course again." "And a big feather in his pocket too!" "What island is this?" " The island of Todday." " Where's that?" "Och well, they're ignorant right enough." "What is your ship?" "SS Cabinet Minister" "She's a total wreck!" "Can you take us into harbour?" "I'll show you the way!" "What was your cargo?" "50,000 cases of whisky." "50,000 cases of..." "They've all come ashore, the whole crew." "They want to get to the Mainland tonight!" "Tonight?" "They can't be sailing tonight." "But captain we can't go out while they are still here!" "Can't you see that captain?" "Aye but there's still some fog outside" "Donald, we've known each other for many years." "Aye, we have that." "Will you not take them away?" "If you fail us now you'll not have a friend in the whole of Todday" " The ship might sink!" " With all that whisky!" "Tell them to go aboard." "I will sail in half an hour" "Good man, Donald." "Twelve o'clock already." "She may have gone down by now!" "Twelve o clock!" "Aye." "What of it?" "It's the morning of the sabbath" "The sabbath!" "What's the matter?" "It is the sabbath." "We could not be breaking the sabbath." "Well stone the crows!" "50,000 cases of whisky." "Ah well... we better be getting to the church." " Extraordinary, my dear!" "Quite extraordinary!" " what is it dear?" "It appears the crew has abandoned the ship." "The coastguard says the salvage people won't touch her." "Why?" "Too risky if you please!" "Meanwhile she's lying out there unguarded." "Should it be guarded dear?" "She has a very valuable cargo onboard Several thousand cases of whisky." "Anything might happen - you can't trust these people." "It's Sunday Paul." "No-one in Todday would break the sabbath" "Yes darling, but the sabbath ends at midnight." "No darling, there's only one thing for it." "The Home Guard must accept the responsibility." "Hello?" "Hello!" "Those Macroon girls are impossible." " Paul" " Darling, I'm trying to telephone." "If the salvage people won't touch it, would it be so terrible if the people here did get a few bottles?" "I mean, if it's all going down to the bottom of the sea ..." "That's a very dangerous line of argument!" "Once people take the law into their own hands it's anarchy!" "Anarchy!" "Who is that?" "Is that you Mrs Campbell?" "May I speak to George?" "Oh!" "It's you, Mr Waggett!" "No, you cannot speak to George!" "The telephone was not given to Man for him to mock the sabbath with it." "But mother, it might have been something important!" "Then it can keep 'til the morning!" "I do not approve of the use of that instrument on this day." "Oh but mother we must move with the times." "Satan has made you very glib, my son." "What times will there be to move with in Eternity?" "Now you are being ridiculous." "Don't you ridiculous me!" "Go to your room, George Campbell." "There'll be no church for you in Snorvaig today!" "Well that was a terrible long sermon the minister gave us!" "And all about the Flood!" "I was nearly walking out in the middle to see if she was still afloat!" "Well, Joseph, the sabbath is a long long day right enough." "Yes Mr. Waggett?" "Captain Waggett if you don't mind." "I want to speak to your son, George." "George is in his bedroom." "Oh!" "Not ill I hope." "He's locked in his bedroom with his bible and some bread and cheese he'll not be let out until tomorrow morning." "I never heard anything so preposterous!" "Have you never heard of the Fourth Commandment?" " remember the Sabb..." " you need not repeat it." "I learned the Commandment years ago." "More shame to you then, that you should lead my son away from righteousness!" "Mrs Campbell, at this very moment, our troops are fighting in North Africa." "The Germans don't stop fighting on Sunday so how can we?" "What the Germans do, Mr Waggett, is on their own conscience and Todday is not in North Africa." "So there's no need to bring the heathens into it." "I've been told there are cannibals in Africa but no-one is going to persuade my son to eat human flesh" "No-one is asking your son to eat human flesh!" "Not yet!" "I insist on speaking to George himself" "You can go down on your bended knees and I'll not let you speak to George" "I shall certainly not do that!" "They don't seem to realise at Headquarters what I'm up against here." "What would my colonel say if you knew that my second in command had been locked in his bedroom by his mother?" "What with all the excitement Mr. Macroon, I haven't had the chance of having a word with you yet." "It's about Peggy and me." "We want to get married." "I'm hoping you are going to say yes." "So we can fix a date." "Marriage is a serious step." "We better be talking about it in the morning." "Of course I know it's a bit sudden." "After me only being here a couple of days." "It's getting late, Sergeant." "It's a big subject to be talking about tonight." "Now who can that be?" "Oh good evening, I'm sorry to break in on you like this." "Not at all, Mr Waggett, not at all." "Come in." "You're welcome." "I wish I could offer you a dram, but I've nothing but lemonade" "Very kind of you." "It was you that I've really come to see." "Lemonade?" "It's a bit of an emergency and I'd like to put you in the picture" "So perhaps we could have a few words." "Thank you." " You won't be taking lemonade Sergeant?" " No, thank you." "Slainte ... you know" "Aye, you've got the Gaelic fine" "Well if you've got business together I'll be going." "It's about this wreck." "It's a very heavy responsibility for me." "For you, sir?" "I don't see how it affects the Home Guard, sir." "I mean to say, a wreck's right outside our beat, sir." "The cargo might be tampered with." "I wouldn't be at all surprised if it was, sir." "Which, don't forget, is robbing the revenue." "Well, I suppose it is if you put it that way, sir." "I don't think the colonel is going to thank you for starting in to protect the revenue." "I feel it's my duty to stop ..." "looting." "Well I don't believe,sir, that the Home Guard nor anybody else can stop them." "You mean I can't trust my men." "I wouldn't trust a brigade of guards to look after that ship, sir!" "Exactly!" "So it's up to you and me." "You and me, sir?" "I had hoped Mr Campbell would have been able to help us, but he's not available." "I intend to mount a guard on that wreck." "You will take the midnight watch." "I shall relieve you at 0400 hours." " Very good sir." " Those are my orders." " Sir." " Good night, Mr Macroon." " Good night, Mr Waggett." "Well that's torn it." "Did you ever hear tell of a Reitach, Sergeant?" "A what?" "It's an old custom we in the Highlands" "When I man wants to marry himself he must ask the girl's father for her hand at the Reitach" "Oh." "It's a great set-up." "Everybody comes." "You mean me and Peggy ought to have one?" "Oh Aye." "And you'll always have a seven gallon jar of whisky." "Now look here Mr Macroon!" "This is blackmail!" "You can't have a wedding without a Reitach, and you can't have a Reitach without the whisky." "But if you do catch anyone taking the whisky, what will you do to them?" "Catch any of them?" "Oh I don't think anything will happen." "Once they know there's a guard, they won't try anything." "You know what to do." "Have you not got it wound up yet, son?" " Are the boats ready?" " Aye" " We'll take them round to Seal Bay and wait behind the headland" "What about the Sergeant?" "The Biffer will give us a signal from the clifftop when the coast is clear." "Come on." "Oh I don't like it at all at all." "The Sergeant is as nice as fellow as anyone could meet." "Aye, he's a real gentleman." "Do you remember the way he was telling us to creep up behind your enemy?" "Aye!" "The Panther Crawl!" "But he's no enemy of ours." "Any man who stands between us and the whisky is an enemy." "Angus, you will take him around the feet." "I'll do that." "You take him round the neck Biffer, while I pin his arms." "Och the poor soul." "Are you ready?" "I might hurt him around the neck, I'll take his arms." "No!" "You'll be letting go of his arms out of sympathy for the man." "Now, the Panther Crawl!" "What's all this?" "Och, Sergeant, you gave us a surprise!" "We meant to come up behind you" "It was us that was going to surprise you!" "We were never going to hurt you, we was just going to put you out of the way." "Coming up behind me, eh?" "Lovely lot of commanders you'd make!" "Much noise as a couple of tanks!" "We were doing the Panther Crawl the way you showed us, Sergeant." "Not like that I didn't." "On your toes!" "Move on your toes" "Light and quiet!" "Come on, try it again." "Now Sergeant, we really didn't want to anyway." "You are too rough Sergeant." "Well if you do it properly I can't hurt you can I?" "Come on, try it again." "Go on, take a firm grip." "Tighter!" "See, you've got me helpless!" "Here, wait a minute, Lets get George" "We can't wait, there's no time!" " she'll be going down" " I'll not be a minute!" "George, are you coming?" " Where are you going?" " To the wreck." " Oh I can't" " Why not?" "Why don't you come down by the stairs?" "Come on, men!" "Get these hatches off!" "She'll be going down in a minute!" "Come along, George!" "Ah well, Scots Wahey!" "Scots wahey what, dear?" "Well, it's what they say here, darling you know, like," "Like Lang may your ... something .. reek!" "Come on, she'll sink!" "Come on!" "George!" "Biffer!" "I can't wait!" "Hurry she's going down!" "It is a safe enough here" "We'd be just drawing attention to ourselves if we carried it all over the island." "Let each man take what he needs." "We'll come back for more when we want it" "Captain Waggett?" "Is that you?" "Sergeant Odd, what are you doing here?" "I've been tied up like this for the last four hours, sir." "This is monstrous!" "Who did it?" "Well to tell you the truth sir, I haven't got a clue sir," "Just after midnight it was, they come up behind me and the next thing I knew was  well here I am." "I'll find out who did it." "What number would you be wanting please?" "Oh!" "It's you Mr Waggett!" "Are you keeping well, Mr Waggett?" "Yes, Mr Waggett." "Top .. what?" "Top Priority?" "I don't think there's anybody of that name on the island" "Oh, I see Mr Waggett." "Obaig 6-6-6." "Colonel Lindsay-Wolsey." "Oh he'll be in bed, surely." "But I'll put you through just the same." "She ship was still afloat at midnight." "Which means they got to the whisky." "They might have sir" "There's no doubt about it." "Colonel Lindsay-Wolsey?" "This is Captain Waggett, officer commander Todday Home Guard" "I have a very serious report to make to you sir, which I think..." "Serious?" "Do you know the time?" "Sorry sir, of course I realise it is very early but I thought you would wish me to inform you at once that the steamship "Cabinet Minister", Blue limpet line, was wrecked." "Why tell me Waggett?" "I'm not an Admiral!" "I know sir." "I didn't suppose that you were and Admiral" "But this ship, loaded with whisky, has just gone down." "Whisky?" "Yes sir, whisky." "Oh that's different!" "I have reason to believe that some of it was removed from the ship." "Well done, get some for me!" "For you sir?" "I trust you weren't going to exclude me!" "Sergeant Odd was on guard by my orders." "I regret to say he was brutally assaulted." "Serve him right!" "Serve who right?" " Is this silly fellow along?" " Yes he's here, sir." "Put him on the line" "Sergeant, the colonel wishes to speak to you." "Look here Sergeant, what has this fellow Waggett been up to now?" "We all know this is a war for us!" "Keep your eye on the follow." "I shall never understand the Military Mind, Dolly." "Sometimes I ask myself if the professional soldier is human." "Good night sir." "Did he say about you being assaulted?" "Yes sir, he made quite a point about that." "He said it showed how well I'd trained them." "I don't wish to criticise my superior officer but I find the Colonel's attitude extraordinary." "Quite extraordinary." "Well sir, I had suggested he mightn't like it." "Was there anything more, sir?" "No, you better got back and rest." "Thank you sir." "Good night sir." "Good night Mrs Waggett." "Paul, you aren't going to do anything more about this whisky." "Surely you know me well enough to realise when I've started something I see it through to the end." "Snorvaig 19." "Constable Macrae" "Is there anyone in particular you suspect?" "I suspect all of them, Dolly!" "All of them!" "When the dawn rose on that memorable morning it found a changed island" "A sea that sparkled more brightly than before" "Grass that seem greener!" "Whiter Sands!" "Todday was hardly recognisable!" "I'm going to tell my mother this morning that I'm going to be married when Peggy and the Sergeant get married." "That is if Catriona will have me." "How many have had, George?" "Four." "Four whiskies and the man's a giant!" "I may have had too much to drink, I don't really know," "I've never had too much to drink in my lief!" " How do you feel George?" " I feel fine" " Is you head swimming?" " No" "You look steady enough on your pins anyhow." "but speaking as one with considerable experience in these matters, I must warn you to be aware of the reaction." "So we'll just prime you with one more dram and bring you into the ring in the peak of condition." "You'll not become a drinker if it's me you're going to marry!" "I may have to until we are safely married, so the sooner we get married the better!" "Will you listen to the man!" "What's come over him?" "Would you rather I just went on havering?" "No George, I don't believe I would." "You'll be home in half an hour." "I think that's about the right dose." "Wait a bit, doctor, he may be needed your services." "Eesht girl!" "You've got a fine lad there!" "It's a well known medical fact that some men are born two drinks below par" "Oh it's not your fault." "You've been spoilt!" "Spoilt by me!" "I've let you have your way for far too long." "No more of that now!" "Catriona and I are getting married next month." "I've told you my terms." "If you don't like them, you can go to..." "you can go to Glasgow!" "George Campbell, Satan himself is in you!" "You come drunken, debauched, and shameless." "Bringing that water creature to my very door." "To think that your father's son would..." "And how are you keeping, Hector?" "I'm feeling quite myself again." "Man, that's fine!" "Would you be hearing anything about this whisky?" "They tell me that some of it was saved from the sea." "I'm after making a few enquiries." "Man, we get all sorts of unpleasantness in the police." "I likely you would be." "Your hot water bottle is cold." "Will I be filling it up for you" "No, I'm feeling fine and warm just now." "Well well, I'll be going." "Do you mean to say your selling the stuff?" "I'm selling it all right, but who is buying?" "You can go to prison for this." "To prison?" "What are you telling me?" "This is my quota." "Four bottles of whisky." "First I've had in two months" "The Island Queen brought it in this morning" "Oh, I beg your pardon." "Four bottles of whisky, when there's maybe 200 cases on the island!" "200 cases?" "Constable Macrae has just told me he hasn't found a single bottle." "He says he's looked everywhere!" "Has he looked around the beach up at Seal Bay?" "You've got crazy the lot of you!" "Bottles, bottles, everywhere!" "The place is like a bar" "What is this?" "Can I put some of it in here?" "Anywhere as long as it's out of sight." "Obaig 6-6-6." "Will you hold on please." "Mr. Waggett, you are through to Colonel Lindsay Wolsey" "Captain Waggett, officer commanding Todday Home Guard." "I'm very anxious to have a short talk with you on Home Guard matters" " not again - no, it's nothing to do with the ship... it's about that ammunition I'm returning to you." "Now I suggest I catch the boat tomorrow and be with you the following morning" " if you must!" " well I wanted to put you in the picture" "Paul!" "All the way to Obaig just for a talk with Colonel Lindsay Wolsey." "No, I'm not going anywhere near the mainland" "I'm going to the excise people at Novast." "What for?" "Security!" "He says he was off on the boat tomorrow." "Where's he going?" "To Obaig to see the Colonel" "We can have our Reitach tomorrow!" "And Catriona's!" "A double Reitach!" "Here you go, take a glass." "Now George, at one gulp!" "otherwise Catriona will be wearing the breeches!" "I still think, Mr Farquharson, our best course would be to go straight to the cave!" "The cave won't run away, Mr Waggett." "Our shall take advantage of our little expedition to make a house-to-house search." "The local constable has already done that and found nothing." "My men our experts" "So are the Todday men at hiding whisky." "We'll see" "Well I suppose you know your own business best." "I do indeed, Mr Waggett" "As soon as I've made my little haul you can drive me to this little cave of yours" " Well, if you insist" " I do." "Come on, get a move on there." "Now you know the orders, don't waste time." "Results depend on surprise." "You've got to move quick to find anything." "Grant Macriddie, you'll come with me" "There's a visit here I must pay myself." "You'll join us won't you Mr Waggett?" "You know Joseph Macroon." "If it's at all awkward, there's no need." "Awkward?" "Why should it be?" "I've done no more than my duty." "Then you'll join us." "Report to me in Macroon's Post Office" "Who's is it?" "Post Office is closed!" "Miss Macroon, could we speak to your father he's gone to bed." "On Mr. Waggett it's you!" "I thought you were at Obaig." "I'm afraid we must ask you to wake your father." "May we come in?" "Certainly." "What here a moment, I'll go and get him." "Here?" "Will they not smell it?" "Disinfectant." "Father!" "They're here, the four of them, and Farquharson himself." "You're sure they've had no warning?" "How could they?" " Mr Macroon" " Mr Farquharson." "And what brings you here at this time of night?" "It is on the late side, but between old friends" "Ah well, you're welcome." "I haven't seen you for a year or more." "As long as that?" " Aye, when the Jamaica May went down - that's it" "Well now the Cabinet Minister's gone down." "Aye, too quick." "She didn't last long at all" "We've had a report at Novast that she's lasted long enough for some of her cargo to be removed." "Now who'd be saying a thing like that?" "I'm sorry to have disturbed you, Mr Macroon." "I'll call earlier next time." "Och, I didn't mind you coming late at all, Mr Farquharson." "Poor fellows!" "A dirty job!" "A Dirty job!" "Dirty job!" "You see!" "Not a single bottle!" "Get back to the pier!" "I'll join you there." "I'm afraid we have been wasting our time." " Aren't you going to ..." " I'll speak to you privately, Mr Waggett." "We failed to find anything because they were ready for us." "I see to reason to tell them what we are going to do next." "How far is it to this cave of yours?" "Driving carefully, as I always do, about 15 minutes." " Where's your car?" " In my garage" "Farquharson's not going to the pier!" "You think he'll be knowing about the cave?" "Waggett?" "No." " What makes you so sure?" " How would he know?" "I told him myself to take a look at Seal Bay." "What?" "Why should I help you to ruin my business?" "You know what has been happening!" "Sammy, your lorry!" "Sammy, take her across Maha, along the sands - it will be quicker." "I'd like to lay my hands on that may Waggett!" "Just for a bit of whisky to go to prison!" "Men!" "Sitting there doing nothing at all!" "Could you not do something to stop Waggett?" "How can we?" "Soldiers!" "Helpless as newborn babies!" "I can see them stopping the Germans!" "That stupid stuffed up Sassenach playing at being a laird!" "A tinpot General with his Home Guard and his roadblocks" "Roadblocks!" "A fat lot of use!" "Roadblocks" "How on earth did that get there?" "It's the fairies." "They are very active in these parts!" " Who's next on the list?" " Torquil Munroe." "His aunt has a telephone" "This'll get you Court Marshalled" "You don't know my Colonel, Doc." "It'll get me promoted." "This will take you the rest of the night, won't it?" "No, we can move it in a jiffy." "Not much use against the Germans in that case." "My dear sir!" "If we were Germans, we'd be under fire from snipers." "Only blanks!" "It's Home Guard issue." "Childish attempt to frighten us" "Come on you two!" "Let's get this shifted!" "It's a special exercise Angus." "You remember Captain Waggett was telling us about the fifth columnist?" "Mother, where is my helmet?" "You were using it to feed the hens." "And tell him he can't pass the bridge unless he knows the password." "Angus, Angus are you there?" "What is the password?" "Och it doesn't matter." "Anything!" "Tell him the password it's "whisky"" "The password's "whisky"" "Halt!" "How is going there?" "What are you doing here in uniform, MacCormac?" "I'm guarding the bridge according to instructions from Captain Waggett, Because the Germans have landed." "Have you gone out of your mind?" "No, no I'm pretty wise." "Then go back home and get out of uniform." "I can only be taking orders from Captain Waggett." "This is Captain Waggett!" "Are you blind?" "No, no I'm quite sober." "This is lunacy!" "It's me!" "I'm Captain Waggett!" "Ah but how do I know you're Captain Waggett?" "I think you're a dangerous fifth columnist and you cannot be going on without the password" "There you are Waggett, no password, no whisky." ""Whisky"." "That's the very word!" "Come on Sammy!" "Can't you get it wound up?" "Shut the door Joseph." "Here's Waggett!" "Come on!" "Gone?" "It's been a very interesting experience, this little military exercise" "Mr Farquharson, they've had a lorry!" "Well they can't drive fast across the dunes with that load!" "Get in the car!" "cut them off!" "You couldn't drive a little faster, could you?" "Yes I can." "No petrol!" "We'll have to cut our way out!" "It's for you." "Yes, speaking." "Indeed?" "Most interesting." "Yes I'll ask him." "What was it?" "They'd welcome the opportunity to interview you at the customs at Obaig." "Why?" "You sent two cases of ammunition to the mainland with a note to say you were personally responsible" "I did." "One of them contained six bottles of whisky." "For Export Only" "Oh, but that's impossible!" "Utterly impossible!" "Whisky Galore!" "Even after our private store was exhausted there were stocks of legitimate whisky." "But the price went up, and then it went up again, until nobody on Todday could afford even a dram." "So they all lived unhappily ever after." "Oh, except for Sergeant Odd and his Peggy, for they were not whisky drinkers." "And if that is not a moral story," "What is?"