"Caesar!" "Caesar!" "Caesar!" "Caesar!" "Soldiers, the oracles have spoken." "With the new moon, we shall invade the island of Great Britain." "Caesar!" "Caesar!" "Soldiers, the eyes of the whole world are fixed on you." "You are the glory of Rome!" "Caesar!" "Caesar!" "Caesar!" "This whole country, even the smallest village, pays taxes to Caesar." "Caesar!" "Caesar!" "Caesar!" " You promised to tell him." " Tell him, what?" "About the small Gaulish village that's still resisting us." "What does Caesar care?" "He has other worries." "Is that so?" "I'll tell him." "Then I'll tell him you sell army rations to build yourself a palace in Rome." " But it's not true!" " But I have proof!" " Fine !" " Well?" "You're even viler than me, Detritus!" "You flatter me!" "My speech makes you laugh, Detritus?" "No, Caesar of course not." "It's Trolleybus." "He told me a Belgian joke." "Which one?" "Approach." "Come !" "Look at me." "In the eyes." "You're hiding, something from me." "Hide something..." "Me?" "Caesar..." "I swear on Trolleybus' head." "You know how I value his friendship." "Throw him to the lions if I'm lying!" "Soldiers!" "Why can't we beat those Gauls?" "What's so special about this village?" "From what I hear, it's an ordinary little village." "like hundreds of others across Gaul." "Hey guard!" "Open the gate." "It's my cousin and his oxen." "Hi cousin!" "how's things?" "Come closer!" "Take a look!" "Fresh, cheap fish!" "Come shoppers." "Yes !" ".." "Just a minute! I'm here." "Look!" "Isn't it magnificent?" "Bear in mind my husband's put on weight lately." "Don't worry, Madame, I've reinforced it." "Are you going to test it?" "Go on, then!" "Yes!" "Up!" " Well?" " Long live Vercingétorix!" "I would have liked to be an artist..." "Shut up, Bard!" "Your fish stinks!" "Keep it." "My fish stinks?" "Come and smell it!" " It stinks!" " It stinks?" "Come and smell it!" "Isn't it fresh?" "Doesn't it smell of the sea?" " It's not fresh." " Yes, it is." " It's not." " It is." " It's not fresh." " It is." " It's not fresh!" " Yes, it is!" " It's not fresh!" " Yes it is fresh!" " It's not fresh!" " It is fresh!" "No, it's not." " Geriatrix!" " A fight!" "I'm coming." "Geriatrix!" "You're no longer 80, my love." "Leave me alone, or you'll get one too." "Fresh or not..." "it's all gone!" "00:07:28,543 -- 00:07:30,403 A stork !" "Think I'm a butterfly, Unhygienix?" "Sorry, Getafix." "Wrong target." " The eye !" " It's not fresh ?" "I keep telling you!" "A great danger threatens the village!" "It's written in it's eye." "Look!" "It's a sign." "Someone wishes us ill." "An evil spirit!" "It's close, I can feel it's presence." "May the gods help us!" "Open the gates." "Speak, Caius Bonus." "Tell me everything." "They have a secret weapon, Governor." "A magic potion." "Magic potion?" "Are you kidding me?" "I wouldn't dare, Governor." "Their druid makes it." "It makes them invincible." "Invincible?" "He inherited the secret from his ancestors." "By Jupiter!" "If someone got hold of this secret, he would become master of the world." "That's why I didn't tell anyone." "Imagine if the other villages..." "You did right." "Master of the world!" "How long does the potion's effect last?" "About 10 minutes." "Then, they get more from the druid." "We must cut off their supply of potion." "Take all the men you need." "I would, but there's a hitch." " Hitch ?" " A huge one!" "A colossal Gaul." "He needs no resupplying." "He fell into the potion when he was little." "Neutralize him." "Set a trap." "My engineer Hypothenús will build it." "It won't be easy." "He has a very clever friend." "Don't worry." "Hypothenús is a real genius." "Hear that ?" "It'll rain." "The sky is lowering." "Any lower and it'll touch the tip of your menhir." "You think so?" "Yes." "Then the sky will fall on our heads." "Don't say that!" "It's my only fear." "It won't have far to fall." " Stop it!" " I'm kidding." " Not funny." " Relax, I was kidding." "You never know." "I'd rather not take risks." "Go, go." ""Rest In Peace Astérix and Obélix" .. Hahah!" "Do I add "ha, ha"?" "Watch it, scribe." "Lions love intellectuals." "They're more tender than centurions." "If the Romans could see you!" "I haven't seen any for 15 days." "Not an ambush, nothing." "You're too rough." "You humiliate them." " Me ?" " Think about it." "They destroyed Carthage, conquered the world, everyone fears them." "And some fatso beats them up!" "What fatso ?" "!" "Who do you mean ?" "I meant a great athlete named Obélix." "I see." "They're coming." "Why must we "Rest"?" "I'm not tired." " It's a tombstone." " Are we dead?" "We'd better run." "The sky's falling on our heads!" "Finally!" "Squashed like cockroaches." "Six months, I've waited !" "Six months of humilation and beatings !" "Original idea, no ?" "I'll triple your pay!" "Lucky thing 'fatso' is here." "Hey?" "As for you Gauls, I'll play your tripes!" "No!" "This can't be." "Impossible!" "By Pluto, it's a nightmare!" "Come on!" " Give me a hand." " Just a second." "Lucky I filled my flask with magic potion." " Give me some." " No." "You fell into it as a kid." "Oh, that's good !" "Do something." "Soldiers, on the rock!" "Caius Bonus!" "Caius Bonus, my old pal." "What?" "Don't wanna play with your old pals?" "Silly boy!" "You'd get bored without us?" "What a lovely voice !" "True, he sings very well." "It's not my fault." "I had orders." "We had good times together, no?" "Such great punch-ups!" "But he hits too hard." "My men can't take it." "He'll go easy." "Right ?" "I'll try my best." "Caius Bonus, go tell your men.." "and next week we'll have a good bash up." "Caius Bonus' idea was not too brave but quite inventive." "What do you think it was ?" "He threw a mountain at us!" "They rolled a huge rock and this time we really thought the sky had fallen on our heads." "Hey, Obélix." "Stop pigging out." "Pig out ?" "!" "It's only my third boar." "Oh, pardon 'only his third'!" "Will you eat another three?" "No, only two !" "Tonight I'm eating light." " Aren't you fat enough?" " Well developed !" "It's a nuance." " Who's she?" " You know her !" "It's Falbalá." "Little Falbalá?" "The daughter of..." "But she was that tall." "She left for 8 years to study in Lutetia" " She's changed." " She grew a few centimetres." "And a few kilos..." "It suits her." "Obélix!" " She recognized you!" " Hold him." "Oh, Falbalá!" "My dear Obélix, I'm so happy to see you." "You've changed so much." "I didn't recognize you." "You haven't changed at all, except for a few extra kilos." "He's just well developed." "That's right, Just a little well developed." " Falbalá!" " Just a little well developed!" "Smells delicious." "I'm going to eat your boar." "I'm not deaf!" "I don't care." "Go ahead, eat it." "You've never refused boar." "Are you sick?" "No, I'm fine." "Why?" "What a beautiful night!" "Can you smell how fragrant the air is?" "The moon is full." "I hadn't noticed." "Did that little flirt do this to you?" " What little flirt?" " Falbalá, of course." "Don't you dare speak ill of Falbalá!" "All right, let go of me." "You're strangling me." "I'm sorry." "Falbalá is not a flirt." "Falbalá is..." "Falbalá." "Is it for Falbalá?" "To wear around her neck on a big chain?" "It's an engagement menhir." " You want to ask her to marry you?" " Yes." "You're nuts." "She's not for you." "Why not?" "You're not a good match." "Physically, I mean." "You don't understand women." "They don't care about physique." "They care about the soul." "Look who's coming." " Is he her brother?" " Her brother?" "Yes." "Look, he's kissing her." "That's not how brothers and sisters kiss." "Her cousin, then." "Can't you see he's her boyfriend?" "Let's go." "It's best if you propose marriage some other time." " Her boyfriend?" " Yes." " He's so skinny." " Yes... skinny." "Let's go eat." "Open the gates for 'Grand Treasurer' Sinusitus !" "Here to collect taxes !" "He'll be staying the night at camp." "Open up." "That's all for today." "I want you all here tomorrow at dawn." "Hey you!" "We don't pay overtime." "I like to finish what I've started." "Makes me sleep better." "Close the gates." "Idiot!" "There's plenty more in the chest you saw earlier." "It isn't our chest." "Tomorrow it will be." "By Toutatis, the gods are angry tonight." "So am I." "So don't make a mess or I'll deal with you." "No..." "Nooo !" " Lost your appetite?" " I'm dieting." " Diet?" "You?" " Yes." "Yes." "You were right." "I'm a touch over-developed." "Who's there?" "Who are you?" "I'm the soothsayer, Prólix with my assistants Alámbix and Anoréxix." "Come in." "A soothsayer and his assistants seek shelter for the night." "A soothsayer?" "Good timing." "Show him in." "Some parasitic charlatan." "Don't be so suspicious." "I have a few things to ask him." "Welcome to our village." "I knew we would be welcomed." "In what can you read the future, seer?" "In a hot soup and a warm beer." "How original!" "You've come to the right place." "Well?" "Do you see anything?" "I see a treasure." "An enormous treasure is coming to your village." "Refill our friend's plate." "I see lots of Romans around the treasure." "The Romans are mine!" " You'll take the treasure." " Brilliant, idea!" "Carry on." "We can have a ball in Lutetia." "I know a great restaurant!" "I don't see anything." "Someone's emitting negative vibes." "My decoder's not working." "The image has gone." " Astérix, get out." " Why?" "Out!" "That's an order." " It's coming back!" " So?" "With this treasure you'll raise an army and boot the Romans out of Gaul!" "Did you hear, Impedimenta?" "You're married to the new Vercingétorix!" "Sure, since you're up go fetch some firewood." "I have a friend who is in love with a girl..." "You want to know if she'll marry him?" "How did you guess?" " I'm a soothsayer !" " True." "Astérix!" "The seer said..." " That you will marry Falbalá." " You're a seer too?" "No, but I know charlatans." "He's not a charlatan." "He saw that Falbalá loves me!" "Falbalá will marry Tragicómix." "Falbalá loves me." "She just doesn't know it yet." " Why not tell her?" " Love is a delicate thing." "It's like a flower." "It needs time to grow, to blossom..." "Sure." "You don't understand." "You never understand a thing!" "Oh, this guy gets on my nerves!" "I've had it with you, Obélix!" "Romans..." "Romans, Normans..." "Romans!" "The Romans are coming!" "Romans!" "Druid, prepare the magic potion." "The Romans are coming!" " Leave them to me!" " You're so selfish!" "Three drops should be enough." "For pity's sake, don't enter this village!" "For the last time, it's pure madness." "You've lost your head, Centurion !" "Do you know who I am?" "I'm Provincial Treasurer." "I collect Caesar's taxes." "These Gauls have a magic potion which makes them invincible." "They'll cut you to pieces." "Stop raving!" "Out of my way!" " Welcome, Romans!" " Thank you, Gaul." "I've come to collect Caesar's tax." "Rest assured, it will be well spent for building roads and maintaining an army to protect you." " Plus Social Security." " Of course." "It's the least we can do." "He greatly honours us by accepting our modest contribution." "Astérix, Obélix, please bring Caesar's tax." "What's this?" "These are the things Roman soldiers leave behind every time we meet them!" "It hampers their running." "Any junkyard will give you a fair price!" "Or a curio shop..." "Look at this helmet." "It would make a nice oil lamp." "And this armor would make a nice waffle iron!" "Raze this village!" "My treasure!" "My treasure!" "He never called me that." "Even when we were engaged." "By Toutatis, you're the most extraordinary of soothsayers." "What will happen now?" "Tell me!" "I'm no oracle, but I can tell you." "If we don't return it to Caesar, he'll be here with his legions." "Let him come." "With this money, I'll raise an army." "I'll face him and I'll defeat him!" "I tell you, this gold will bring misfortune to the village!" "Then let's vote." "Those who want to keep it, move to my right." "Those who want to return it, move to the left." "I want to keep the money but not lose a friend, so I abstain." "The result of the vote says..." "We keep the treasure!" "Yesss!" "Great!" "Hooray!" "You called for me, Caesar?" "The tax money was stolen." "What?" "You dared to..." "You slimy..." "No!" "It wasn't Sinusitus." "He was ambushed by the Gauls." "And you're still alive!" "You didn't defend Caesar's money to the death!" "You miserable...!" "Gauls from the village that has been resisting us for months." "Did you know?" " Did you?" " I'm talking to you!" "It's to me, Detritus, that Caesar is speaking." "This village, or rather hamlet..." "Why didn't you tell me?" "I didn't want to bother Caesar with a matter of no importance." "A matter of no importance?" "A matter of no importance!" "They revolt against Caesar," "They resist Roman legions!" "Not only do they not pay taxes, but they steal my taxes, and this is of no importance?" "You're right." "It's extremely serious!" "I'll have Sinusitus thrown to the lions." "Summon my escort." "I'm going to Petitbónum." "What about Sinusitus?" "If this isn't settled before the new moon, you'll be thrown to the lions." "Caesar is coming!" "Caesar is coming!" "Out of the way!" "Tidy up!" "Everyone in uniform, quick!" " How many are they?" " About 50." " And ours?" " Only 500, noble Caesar." " Only 500?" " Yes." "Tell me, Centurion, are you pulling my leg?" "And mine too?" "Me?" "I can explain, if I may..." "No explanations!" "Attack the village!" "Now!" "Obélix, you will be Commander of my personal guard." "At your command, Vitalstatistix." "I name Cacofonix" "Minister of Culture." "Quiet!" "Quiet!" "What about me?" "You get Veterans' Affairs." "Why Veterans' Affairs?" "I want the War Ministry!" "This is for the Gauls." "So they can recognize me." "Tortoise formation!" "The Ministry of Supplies goes to Unhygienix." "What supplies?" "His fish stinks!" "What about Astérix?" "I forgot him." "He gets National Negativity," "Systematic Denigration and Ambient Pessimism." "That should do him." "Very good." "Astérix, what are you doing?" "Rendering unto Caesar what is Caesar's." "He must have drunk some potion." "Obélix, bring back the treasure." "What's this?" "Are you nuts, Astérix?" "Mocking me ?" "!" "Astérix, you're..." "Chief!" "Help him!" "Attack!" "Tortoise, forward march!" "Help, Gauls!" "The Romans are attacking." "Everybody drink some potion!" "By Toutatis!" "Attack!" "Attack!" "Tortoise!" "Charge!" "Out!" "Get down!" "Go and fight!" "Close the gates." " There." " No, there." "Caius Bonus..." "Attack!" "Or it's the lions for you." " Anybody home?" " Answer !" " These Gauls are savages." " Savages!" "But they have a sense of rhythm, hey?" "Leave one for me!" "It's bad for your heart, darling." "Please listen to me." "Lay off!" "Have fun, gramps!" " You'll get hurt." " He's mine!" "He's still agile." "They've damaged him!" "My poor baby!" " He's too old for the potion to work." " I forgot to take any." "He's definitely too old." " Hey Romans!" " Look!" "Bonus!" "Surrender, Gaul, and I'll spare your life." "Sure." "Look, Astérix!" "Up there." "A whole bunch of fresh ones." "Let's get them." "Come on, Romans!" " I've seen that face before." " Me too." "Hey, you with the bouquet garni on your noggin!" " Me?" " Yes, turn sideways." "Did you hear the insolent tone of these barbarians?" " Just savages !" " Julius?" "You're right, it's Caesar." "Good old Julius!" "Where's your army?" "Let's have some fun." "Stop!" "He'll end up sending his army after us." "Good." "Oh, he's leaving." "Wait Julius!" "Let's have some fun." "You offended him, Obelix." "Untie me." "I've got a new song." "Prólix, when I've freed Gaul," "I'll make you General Prefect of all the provinces." " I know." " Of course!" "Silly me." "Meanwhile, let's drink to the greatest seer of them all." "Our friend Prólix..." "Stop sulking." "I refuse to toast that viper." "Now, Soothsayer, talk to me about my my future." "I see you surrounded by Romans." "I see you triumphant." "I see you in Rome!" "Rome?" "What am I doing in Rome?" "Speak, quick." "What do you think?" "The pictures fading." "Negative vibes." "All right, I get it." "The bad vibes will take a stroll." "No!" "You two, come here." "I order you two to make up." " I don't mind." " Did you hear what I said?" "I'm not deaf." " Not enough." "Embrace and kiss." " No way!" "Now !" "We do it four times." " It itches!" " That's better !" "Much better." "In our custom, we must also share the omelette of friendship." "Splendid custom." "Impedimenta!" "Eggs." "Do you like mushrooms?" "If they're not poisonous." "Fear not, I'll have some too." "When we've eaten the omelette," "I'll tell you your future." "Go ahead." "It's good." "I love it." "Obélix!" "Do Caesar on his horse again." "I've done it 20 times!" "Please!" "Caesar, Caesar, Caesar, Caesar!" " I'm full." " No, we must finish it." "It's the custom." "There." "Now, we're real friends." " Are you alright?" " I'm hot." "The warmth of friendship." "Look at me, Astérix, and listen well." " You listening ?" " I'm listening." "Julius Caesar is my worst enemy." "Repeat." "Julius Caesar is my worst enemy." "I will destroy him." "I will destroy him." "Obélix!" "Do it for me, please." "Come on." "Julius looked splendid on his white horse, surrounded by his escort." "We looked at each other." "I said "By Toutatis, I've seen that mug before."" "I take a sestertius and look at it." "He was backwards." "Not on his horse - on the coin." "See?" "Caesar came to mock you." "Among your own people." "It's intolerable!" "It's intolerable!" "You must destroy him." "I must destroy him." "I bet he wasn't told I was pulling my punches." " Get off your horse, Caesar." " Look a Gaul." "You'll pay for all the harm you've done to Gaul!" "Do you hear the insolent tone of these barbarians?" "Let me help you down." " What's with him?" " Don't know." "He's not in his right mind." "Take that, Caesar!" "Stop fighting." "I'm not Caesar." "Can't you see?" "I'm Obélix, your friend." "Die, Caesar!" "Go easy on him." "We'll need potion to stop him." "He's gone mad." "We can't use the magic potion against each other!" "Only the druid can help." "I'll fetch him." "You're fleeing, Caesar." "You're a coward!" "Do something Druid." "Astérix has gone mad." "Indeed." "Meet your end, Caesar!" "Careful!" "Vercingétorix!" " Wake up." " You're avenged!" " It's me, Obélix." " Caesar is begging for mercy!" "Fulliautomátix, get Cacofonix." "We must fight evil with evil." "You're needed." "Yes." "Come on, play something." " What do you want, eunuch?" " To sing you a song." "Poor Astérix!" "It's brutal, but it might work." "Stop it Cacofonix." "Shut him up, Vitalstatistix." "What's this Obélix?" "Why am I tied up?" "He's cured!" "He recognized me." "You scared us." "You took me for Caesar." " Caesar?" " Don't you remember?" "No..." "Wait," "I remember Prólix and his mushroom omelette." "He gave him hallucinogenic mushrooms." "Where is he?" "That viper must have stolen the treasure!" "The treasure!" "Voila !" "I told you so !" "Good riddance." "Now we'll have some peace." "Bye-bye, treasure!" "Bye-bye, Caesar!" "I'll find a way to subdue this Gaulish village." " I'm listening." " I'm thinking." "A bit long." "I feel it coming." "I'll help you out." "Mama mia!" "A real lion!" "Hurry, or you'll be his next meal." "Got it!" "We must neutralize the Druid." "Then he won't be able to prepare the magic potion." "And how do we do that?" "In 2 days, all the region's druids will gather in their sacred forest." "It's the ideal time to act." "But I promised the druids no Roman would enter their sacred forest." "What Caesar promises he can unpromise." "I'll leave a whole cauldron, That should be enough.." "to last during my absence." "I don't like you leaving the village." "With Astérix and Obélix to escort me, there's no risk." "Let's go, Obélix." "Come on, Dogmatix." "The sacred forest starts here." "Only druids can enter it." "Wait for me here." "Follow him." "Any problems, come get us." "Go." "I declare the 2,000th Golden Sickle Ceremony, open!" "As always, the Golden Sickle will go to the best among us." "I summon Druid Plaintcontrix!" "My potion gives, to those who drink it, superhuman strength." "For 10 minutes, they're practically invincible." "You'll see." "I'll choose someone..." "At random..." "You!" "Yes, you." "Come on." "Yes you, come." "Drink." "Slowly." "If it's true, with your magic potion we could boot the Romans out of Gaul!" "No!" "Methusálix, my old master, gave me the secret of the potion on the condition we use it only for defense, and never to attack." "You'll see why." "See that rock?" "You are going to lift it and hold it over your head." "I trust we all agree that..." "Getafix wins this year's Golden Sickle Award." "Now imagine for a second that this man was vile, ambitious and unscrupulous, or, worse yet, a Roman!" "But I AM a Roman!" "Guards!" "Want some?" "You were more fun when you weren't dieting." "Even if you lose a few kilos, Falbalá won't marry you." "She loves Tragicómix." " You're jealous." " You're nuts." "Someday you'll meet someone and you'll understand ... what it means to love and be loved." "Eat, something." "You can't starve to death because of a girl." "Just a bite." "Dogmatix, what is it ?" "Is Getafix in trouble ?" "'Forbidden' or not, let's go!" "No time to eat." "Not now !" "Hurry !" "Where is he?" "Getafix!" "Which one ?" "Sacrilege!" "This forest is sacred, you've no right to be here." "Where's Getafix?" "You've broken the taboo." "Shame on you!" "Tell us, or we'll leave you hanging like an old chestnut." "The Romans took him." "We were betrayed." "Look, Dogmatix brought something." "Give it to me." "A piece of Getafix's robe." "Seek boy!" "Dogmatix will pick up his scent." "By Toutatis!" "Get me down, or I'll curse you unto the tenth generation!" " Who cares, they're not our druids." " Don't be silly." "All right, I'll do it." "No "thank you's" ?" "The Roma..." "The Romans!" "Romans everywhere." "We have a full cauldron of magic potion." " Then what?" " We'll see..." "You wanted Caesar's army, well, knock yourself out." " Where are you going?" " To free Getafix." "Wait, let me think." "Hey, you!" "Come here!" "Come back." "Drop the bread." "As a man of your superior intellect .." "must know why you're here." "You want the magic potion formula." "To do what?" "I read in your face, ambition and deceit." "You want to overthrow Caesar and rule over Rome." "I'm an open book to you." "You understand, therefore, you must give me the formula." "I'd rather die." "Die here?" "Never!" "And take your secret to the grave ?" "No, Druid, you won't die." "But, if you don't give me the formula... to your magic potion, you'll regret ever being born." "This machine was devised to cause unbearable pain." "It was my idea." "I'll let you get acquainted." "I'll be back shortly." "Think well before giving me your answer." "Here, put it on." "Let's rehearse one more time." "Who are you?" "Obelus, legionary second cohort, third maníple." " And me?" " Astérix, my best friend." "Are you doing it on purpose?" "You're Astérix, a Gaulish spy." " That's it?" " No." "I captured you trying to enter the camp to free your druid." " And who will you deliver me to?" " I don't know!" "I deliver menhirs, not friends." " To Caesar, idiot." " Alright, to Caesar Idiot." "Are they related?" "Is Caesar Idiot related to Julius Caesar?" "You deliver me to Julius Caesar." " 'Idiot' is you." " I thought I was Obelus." "He's driving me nuts." "To reiterate." "You're Obelus, all right?" "You deliver me to Julius Caesar." "When I say "Obelus, by Toutatis, you're Obélix"" "you're Obélix again." "When you say "Obelus, by Toutatis, you're Obélix"" "I become Obélix again and not before." "See, I got it !" "Finally." "Then we capture Caesar and swap him for Getafix." "Wait." "I have to bash you a bit so you look like a prisoner." " So Falbalá doesn't love me?" " What's she got to do with it?" "Nothing." "A gaulish spy!" "He's mine." " So does she love me?" " She does." "She adores you." "You're the man of her dreams." "The man of her dreams?" "That's better." " What do you want?" " To deliver this to Caesar." "To Caesar?" "Are you kidding?" "Go sober up." "Guards, to the rescue!" "Take me to Caesar." "Special delivery." "What's this?" "A Gaulish spy trying to sneak in." "Claims he's the assistant to a druid called Getafix." "You're the assistant to Getafix the druid?" "Yes." "He claims he has important secrets to tell Caesar." "Yes, yes." "Old druid, you'll talk eventually." "You can start when you want." "Is that so?" "Over there." "So you're Getafix's assistant?" "Yes." " Bravo!" "What's your name?" " Legionary Obelus." "Well, Obelus, I'm tripling your pay." "I'm a bit hungry." "Take him to the kitchen, give him anything he wants." "Obelus!" "By Toutatis..." "Obelus!" "By Toutatis!" "Druid!" "Do you know this man?" "Never seen him." "No point lying, Getafix." "He knows I'm your assistant and that I help you prepare the magic potion." "Put him in the machine!" "Well?" "Obelus, by Toutatis, become Obélix again!" "Obelus, by Toutatis..." "A bit small, for boar cutlets." "It's mutton." "Boar is for savages." "Want some chicken?" " Yes." " How much?" " 20." "I'm on a diet." " Did somebody scream?" " It's normal here." "Dogmatix come here!" "What about your cutlet?" "Not the feet!" "It pulls!" "It pulls!" "This is the limit." "If we continue, he may die." "Gauls die, they don't surrender." " Do you agree?" " In principle, yes." "But in practice, we can be a bit more fluid." "You asked for it." "Yes, Dogmatix..." "Go fetch the fat guy." "Swap the Gaul for the dog." " You can't do that!" " You can't do that!" "Just watch me." "Stop!" "You win." "I'll make you the magic potion." "They'll raze the village!" "Don't worry, this rotter needs the potion to eliminate Caesar and replace him." "You got that right, Druid." "I couldn't care less about your village." "It's Rome I want!" "I, Detritus, want to rule over Rome!" "Dogma..." "Have you seen a little white dog with black spots?" " No." " Ugh!" "Dogmatix!" "Ah, no !" "Olibrius!" "Arrest that traitor Detritus!" " I'll bring him in 5 minutes." " I never to see him again." "Feed him to the lions." "I can't stand traitors in the family." "Brutus can tell you." "Eh?" "Brutus?" "Yes, it's true." "You're right, Dad." "Detritus, on Caesar's orders, you're under arrest." "Help me, guards!" "Dogmatix!" "Ah, here you are." "Where's my prisoner?" "This isn't the time." "Move along." "I wasn't talking to you." "Where's my prisoner?" "But I'm a prisoner too." "Arrest this man." "He must be an accomplice." "Soldier!" "You're just the man I need." "I want you in my personal guard." "First tell me where my prisoner is." "Don't worry, he's fine where he is." "If you help me capture Caesar, I'll make you my Grand Centurion." "Capture Caesar?" "Good idea." "Guards!" "Caesar!" "In the name of the people of Rome, I arrest you." "To the dungeon!" "Guard him day and night." "Ticketdebús, muster the troops." "I'm going to make a speech." "Soldiers!" "Our beloved leader, Julius Caesar, has fallen gravely ill." "He has asked me, while he recovers, to take command." "Under the circumstances, I've doubled your pay." "Yayy !" "I also want to announce the nomination of legionary Obelus to the rank of Centurion in Charge of my Personal Security." "Finally, to ensure the good will of the Gods in speeding up Caesar's recovery, games will be organized tonight and you're all invited!" "Can I see my prisoner?" "Tonight at the games, Okay?" "Great!" "From here, no one's allowed in." " You stay here." " I stay here." "No trespassing." "Got everything you need?" "No." " What else do you want?" " My assistant." "I knew it." "Here he is." "I had to take a few precautions, you understand." "I don't want your assistant to drink the potion before me." " Well?" " Almost ready." "I just have to say the magic formula." "Then say it." "My assistant must repeat it after me." "Remove his gag." "He's a bit too far away." "What's he saying?" "By Toutatis, get ready to drink the potion." "If we fail, we're stuffed." "Yes, you should take it now!" "It's hot!" "You gambled and you lost." "My revenge will be terrible." "All right, let's try this potion." "If by chance it's a vulgar vegetable soup, you've had it." "I'm warning you." "It's a very moving moment." "It works!" "To the dungeon!" "You won't stay long, don't worry." "What's Obélix doing?" "When I'm Emperor, I'll name you General of the Guard." "What about Caesar?" "Caesar?" "Who's he?" "Falbalá!" " You like animals, Gaul?" " Yes." "Why?" "You'll enjoy this." "Centurions!" "Legionaries!" "Lay your bets..." "What bets?" "A prisoner comes through that door." "He must cross the whole arena." "If he makes it to here, his life will be spared." " Follow ?" " Yes." "We bet on which animal will eat him." "It's my idea." " What if he makes it?" " That never happens." "If you want to bet your pay at 1000 to 1, I'll take you on." "Done !" "Your pay?" "A thousand to one?" "You've got guts." "I like that." "Shake !" "You're on !" "You said I'd see my prisoner at the games?" "There he is." "Legionaries..." "The first prisoner is the Gaul Astérix!" "Obelus!" "Obelus!" "Become Obélix again!" "Obelus!" "By Toutatis!" "What's up, now?" "Oh, I don't like this." "Gotta get out." "Bravo!" "Well done!" "What's this?" "What are they doing here?" "Generally, they prefer to come out." "Getting worried about your bet?" "Down, kitty !" " He's clever, this Gaul !" " You bet." "Obélix, move !" "..." "He just doesn't get it." "Obélix!" "Down!" "In your kennel." "Now it's giant lizards!" "It tickles." "Obelus, by Toutatis, become..." "No one's ever survived the spiders." "You've lost, Obelus." "1000 times your pay, remember?" "What he did is extraordinary!" "Obelus!" "Obelus!" "..." "Oh, shut up!" "Eat this, fatso." "Obelus!" "Obelus!" "By Touta..." "You said if he made it to here, he'd live." "Under Caesar, yes." "But I'm entitled to a joker." " Is that joker an animal?" " Worse!" "He's a man!" "Obelus... by Toutatis!" "Listen, I think he's talking about you." " What's he saying?" "I can't hear." " I'll read his lips." " You can read lips?" " Sure." "I was trained as a spy." "He said exactly:" ""Obelus, by Toutatis, become Obélix again." "Quick!"" " You're really sure?" " I just told you!" " Ah, fine, then..." "Hands off my pal." "What were you doing?" "I've been calling for an hour." " I couldn't hear." " Let's free Getafix." " Where is he?" " Over there." "By Toutatis!" "You handle it." "Bravo, Obélix!" "It's okay, it just tickles." "I hate spiders." "Wait, I have an idea !" "Let me whack a couple." "Let me show you." "Careful, the cats!" "Bastards!" "(cuckholds)" "See you, Romans!" "Over there." "We're here, Getafix." "Dogmatix!" "Come on, my little puppy!" "Obélix." "Our enemies' enemies are our friends." "It's your lucky day, pal." "Yes, go on." "Alert!" "The Romans are attacking." "Make it count, because there's no more potion left." "We're home!" "It's Obélix!" "Of course!" "Who else?" "Dressed like a Roman?" "I'll explain." "Who's he?" "A prisoner of the Romans." "We freed him." "Fulliautomátix, get rid of the mask." "Not like that." "What are you doing?" "Remove the mask, by Toutatis!" "That's an order!" "You asked for it." "Julius!" "It's Julius Caesar." "Julius Caesar is MY prisoner!" "Julius Caesar is OUR prisoner!" "The situation is more serious than you think." "Obélix, Astérix, Vitalstatistix, and you, Caesar... we must talk." "I must change clothes." "I'm sick of being a Roman." "Detritus's army will soon attack us." "They outnumber us 1000 to 1." " Is that all?" " We have the potion." "Only enough for one cauldron." " They too have it now." " What?" "Detritus forced me to make it." "Only one cauldron." "They outnumber us." "The potion will tip the scales in their favour." "Then our village will be wiped off the map for ever and Caesar will be killed by Detritus." " What do you think, Caesar?" "What you say is right, Druid." "But I want to make you an offer." "If you help me take back power, you will be exempt from taxes." "And you can continue to live outside Roman law." " Well, Chief?" " Interesting." "Even better if Petitbónum became a special economic zone." "with corporate tax-exemptions." "You go too far." "Stop haggling." " Do we stand a chance?" " Yes a slim chance." "Tell us, Druid." "I can increase it's power by adding two-headed unicorn's milk." "They've been extinct for ages!" "Methusálix still has a flask of their milk." "No one's seen that old nutter for ages." "Don't say that about my great-grandfather, he taught me all I know." "The Romans are attacking, Chief!" "Where?" "The rear gate." "It's a diversion." "In fact, they'll attack from the front." " How do you know?" " I invented this strategy." "Attack!" " We must find Methusálix." " Follow me." " Come on!" " I'm coming." "Methusálix!" "Where are you?" "We need you." "Maybe he's deaf." "How old is he?" "Almost 200." "He's probably hiding, he loves pranks." "Methusálix!" "What's this?" " The tip of his beard." " He must be at the other end." " Figured it out by yourself?" " Yes." "Let me do it." "Go easy." "He's stuck." "Is that him?" "Methusálix, sorry to disturb you, but it's an emergency." "We need two-headed unicorn's milk... to save our village." "I've been waiting for this for a long while." "You must earn the milk of the two-headed unicorn." "What?" "You can have it if you answer two questions." "The Romans are attacking!" "Don't rush him." "He's stubborn as a mule." "I'm warning you, no mistakes allowed !" "First question." "A beggar had a brother." "The brother died." "But while he was alive, he had no brother." "Why?" "Seven..." "Six..." "Careful only 5 drops left." "Five..." "Four..." "Three..." "If you can't guess, ask the Romans for help." "The beggar is a woman!" "Good answer." "Everybody to the barricade!" "Drink this potion." "I'll get some more." "Chief, chief !" "Who goes there?" "We're no match for the Gauls." "Give us some potion." "Impossible." "It's my personal reserve." "The troops are tired." "The Gauls too." "And soon they'll run out of potion." "Now beat it !" "And now the second riddle." "I have neither sister nor brother." "But this man's son is my father's son." "Who is he?" "20 drops..." "Easy, I must save some for Astérix." "What are they doing?" "What's keeping them?" "Let me at 'em!" "Let me at 'em!" "Five..." " I think I know." " Say it." "Four..." "But I'm not sure." " Three..." " Go ahead." " What if I'm wrong?" " Two..." " Never mind, say it." "It's my father." " What was the question again?" " Is he kidding?" "Not at all." "At my age, it's normal to have memory lapses." "I'll strangle the old gremlin." ""I have neither brother nor sister, but this man's son is my father's son." "Who is he?"" "My father." "Correct." " Sure?" " No." "He said so..." "It was a fluke." "As long as it's right..." " I just blurted it out..." " Shut up!" "The flask, O Great Druid!" "The flask!" "Bravo, Dogmatix!" "Good dog." "My dog is so clever." "Stop!" "By Toutatis!" "There's some left." " Here." "Drink, quick." " Obélix too?" "Yes, the unicorn milk changes the nature of the potion." "The effect is very different." "You'll see." "Good, good." "Unicorn milk adds a pleasant touch." " Really ?" "I can?" " I'm telling you." "Drink." " What will it do to me?" " Wait and you'll see." "Come on kiddies!" "Attack, no ?" "Go!" "Back into battle!" "Cowards!" "Louses!" "Losers!" "I'll show you morons." "Can't count on anyone." "Caesar?" "Ave Caesar." "Legionaries, the Gauls of this village are now our friends and allies." "They saved me from the clutches of the traitor Detritus." "Without them, I'd be dead." " Your time has come, Detritus." " Have pity, noble Caesar." "I don't know what got into me." "I wasn't myself." " I lost my head." " You said it." "Just a moment." "Please don't do it, Caesar." "All right, I gambled..." "I gambled and lost." "Punish me and let's put it behind us." " You're vile." " Thank you." "Think..." "You always need someone vile when you're in power." "Silence, Gauls!" "You can avoid getting your hands dirty." "I can do everything." "Spy, denounce, betray my friends." "My favourite!" "False testimony too..." "You disgust me." "You know me well." "Did you hear?" "I disgust him." "That means I can't disappoint you." "The danger, Caesar..." "The danger is all those traitors around you, who you think are loyal." " Who do you mean?" " I mean..." "I can't tell you in public." "It's embarrassing." "If you're interested," "I'll prepare you a list and we'll discuss it." "Take him away." "I'll prepare the list." "You'll be surprised." "There are people waiting to stab you in the back." "Close friends, even relatives." "Understand?" "Relatives!" "Ciao, Caesar." "Falbalá..." "You're the tenth Obélix I've kissed tonight!" "But I'm the real Obélix." "The others are just imitations." "Falbalá, we need to talk." "I want to ask you something." "Go ahead, I'm listening." " Will you marry me?" " You can't be serious." "I am." "Why?" "Look, Obélix, I do love you, but like an elder brother, a friend, my big teddy bear." "But I'm in love with Tragicómix." "We're getting married next month." "Is that so?" "And yet Prólix told me..." "You know Prólix is a crook." "Don't be sad." "It upsets me when you're sad." "I have to go." "You're not mad, are you?" "Will you still be my friend?" "My big, teddy-bear-Obélix." "Promise?" "Do you promise?" " Tell me you promise." " Yes." "Getafix, give me some more magic potion, please." "Aren't there enough Obélixes as it is?" "It's not for me." "Falbalá..." "Can I have another word?" " What do you want with her?" " Don't worry, we won't be long." "Come on." " Falbalá..." "Drink this." " What is it?" "It won't harm you, I drank some too." "Go ahead, please." "Do it for me." "Is it good?" "Not bad." "You can go back to your Tragicómix." "Do you mind staying with me?" "I feel like a third wheel." "I'll leave you two alone." "Falbalá." " To your health, Romans!" " To yours, Astérix!" "See that?" "About time!" "I was fed up seeing myself everywhere." "Me too." "Yes." "Imagine how many boars you'd need to feed them all!" "Obélix, Obélix, Obélix!" "Obélix has disappeared." "You mean his doubles?" "No, all of them!" "All gone." " You've killed my friend!" " Calm down!" "The real Obélix must be around." "You're here, aren't you?" " I may disappear too." " No !" "How do you know?" "Have you used that milk before?" "No, but Methusalix has often used it." "He would have warned me of any side effects." "That old goat is sick in the head !" "Don't insult my great-grandfather." "He taught me everything..." "What's wrong?" "I feel weird." "As if I'm empty inside." "I'm going to turn into soap bubbles." "That's it, it's happening." "My legs tingle." "My ankles too." "What do you want, boy?" "Why are you tugging at me?" "Some would abuse this situation." " But not you?" " No, not me." " Not that I don't want to." " Come on, kiss me, you big oaf." "On the mouth?" "Falbalá!" "Is it you?" "The one and only?" "Of course I'm me." "Why?" "All the other Obélixes and Astérixes have vanished." " Like Falbalá?" " Yes" " Tough luck, hey?" " Yes especially for..." " Falbalá." "Come, it's not true that broken hearts last a lifetime." "You'll keep the nice memories." "And you'll always have me." "Lucky thing you're there." "Ah, finally!" "Hey!" "Wait for me." " Ah!" "Caius Bonus!" " No!" "Enough!" "One more." "For the last time." " Say hi to the Egyptians." " Caius is gone." "Everyone's gone." "Not even one is left." "Don't pull that face, Obélix." "It's a victory, we've won!" "Maybe." "But I've lost everything." "Friends, tonight we're celebrating two major events." "Our victory over the Romans... and Obélix's birthday!" "#As a kid, you fell into the magic potion..." "Obélix!" "#Feasting with friends, whacking Romans..." "Obélix!" "#Always carrying a menhir..." "Obélix!" "#Love makes you blush, but you never age..." "And now..." "The cake!" "They're for you." "Caesar chipped in." "Happy Birthday, Obélix." "You." "Yes, you." " Here." " No!" " Hit me there." " No!" "Yes." "He's not pulling punches." "And he'll make one mouthful of the cake." "I keep telling him he's a greedy-guts!" "Let me sing!"