"I'm privileged to bring you the classic sounds of soul, funk, rhythm and blues." "I'm your host Jeff McClain, and I'd like to thank the more than 10,000 listener sponsors in the Tampa Bay area who contribute to community radio and make it possible for us to remain commercial free." "We're going to continue now with this funky, obscure little number." "It's time to kick some ass." "♪ Better watch your step ♪" "♪ 'Cause I been drinkin' all day ♪" "♪ Yeah, the pain you gave me, child ♪" "♪ The pain won't go away ♪" "♪ You left me all alone ♪" "♪ Oh, my golden ring ♪" "♪ Now I sleep all alone, child ♪" "♪ And have lonely dreams ♪" "Yeah." "♪ Left me sittin' on the porch ♪" "Okay, Z..." "Next letter." "Ooh." "♪ And when we get drunk, girl ♪" "Oh, yeah." "Yeah. ♪ Our love's mixed with beers ♪" "Ooh." "♪ When the sky turns morning ♪" "♪ Cold breathing for miles ♪ Okay, Z." "Next letter." "Z?" "Oh, yeah." "Ooh." "Oh, Z?" "No, F?" "B?" "Yeah." "Oh, yeah." "Z-E?" "Z?" "♪ Better get me some snacks ♪" "Oh, lower-case L, that's my favorite." "Ooh." "Z-E-L-I..." "G?" "Like "Zelig"?" "Leonard Zelig?" "Yeah." "Well, yeah." "Where the hell did you come up with that?" "Well, it was a little trick I use sometimes when I'm making love to you and I'm a little over stimulated," "I think of characters from Woody Allen films." "Woody Allen." "Mm-hmm." "How sexy." "Lot of guys think of things, like, I don't know, baseball players' batting averages, uh, the stock market, their mother." "That's disgusting" "Hey, a real man does what he has to do to please a woman." "Oh, is that so?" "That's so, yes." "So who are you thinking of now?" "Annie Hall?" "Actually, uh, Martin Landau from Crimes And Misdemeanors." "And that was the talented Al Green with his Motown hit" ""Sha La La" from 1974." "We heard from two of the great women of soul before that..." "Etta James with "All I Could Do Is Cry"" "of the Argo label, and then the queen... the queen, Aretha, with "I Never Loved A Man."" "We opened up the set today with Albert Collins, late, great Albert Collins, with a hip version of "But I Was Cool!"" "You're listening to WMNF 88.5, way, way, way down on your dial." "See, it's 3:12, which means we're well into the second half of our time together today, folks." "You can call me with a request at 555-WMNF." "So when can I see you again?" "Mmm... don't know." "Well, how about tonight after you get off of work, huh?" "Come on, Martin." "You know the situation." "It's not going to work." "Oh, yeah, the situation." "Right." "Poor baby." "Are you upset?" "Hey... aren't there, like, 30 Woody Allen films?" "Can you make this film with a lot of syllables?" "Not a problem, Kenna." "Not a problem." "And that was the Stylistics with "I'm Stone In Love With You,"" "bringing in that Philadelphia sound." "Gotta love that Philadelphia sound." "We're going to continue now with this funky female vein with an obscure little number." "Look what I got." "Who gave you that?" "Him." "Him?" "Serving that clown drinks for, like, two hours." "He gave me, like, 87 cents." "You give him one drink, he gives you 20 bucks." "What did you do, show him your, uh..." "Oh, please, I didn't show him anything." "What, he just gave you 20 bucks?" "Let's just say he didn't exactly give it to me." "No." "Yes." "No." "Yes." "You're unbelievable." "The guy's a jerk." "Okay, so run it for me." "All right, this one is as old as the Stones." "I was probably nine or ten at the time, and I wanted some stupid doll really bad." "Well, I've told you about my dad before." "One thing was for certain... there's cheap, there's tight, and then there's my dad." "No." "Come on, Kenna, I got a million plush dolls." "What the hell you need with anything else?" "But Daddy, it's a Molly Doll." "I really, really want it." "Hey, take it on the arches, kid." "Can't you see I'm busy here?" "Damn." "Hey, look, folks, it's one of the Lee sisters." "Which one of the Lee sisters are you... homely or ugly?" "♪ If you're lookin' for a show in a crowd ♪" "♪ There ain't no job in this town ♪" "That's like that time when we were coming out of, uh," "Ann Arbor, Ann Arbor..." "You worked that spot, right?" "So we're coming down..." "We're going to Philly." "It's cold out, it's snowing..." "snowing like a bastard," "I mean, look, it's cold." "So I got this broad with me, right?" "I'm taking her from Ann Arbor down in Philly." "So I'm going a little bit too fast up around the lake there, and I get pulled over, right?" "So I look..." "The cop was this broad's ex." "Oh, shit." "So anyway I'm pouting pretty hard when Big Shelly K sees me." "What's the matter, baby, huh?" "Come here." "Big Shelly K was a flat store operator." "A flat store operator runs an illegal gambling joint." "Generally they've got a fat bankroll, a fast mind, and an ice-cold heart." "They'll take a mark's entire paycheck without a second thought, and Big Shelly K was as good as they come." "On the midway, he was the man." "I want a Molly Doll, but my dad won't give me any money." "What, are you you surprised?" "You know your old man's got a lock on his wallet." "I know, Big Shelly, but it's not fair." ""Shee-uz-Elly." "Shee-uz-Elly."" "Then the Pilot jumped in." "The Pilot was Johnny O'Conner." "He's what they call a Roughy." "It's kind of like a jack of all trades." "Claims he was a decorated Air Force pilot, but everyone knew it was complete bullshit." "Oh, yeah, and the guy always, always spoke carny, or "Ciazarny," as he would say." "Mortie would go nuts if I taught his kid that crap." "Nah, I can't do it." "You know, you're right." "Cheap bastard could use some juice, and not only are we going to teach her, but we're going to run it on the old man for practice." "Yeah, yeah, I want to learn." "Oh, hi, Uncle Davey." "Hey, Davey, help us out with this one." "We're gonna teach Kenna the double-sawbuck takeaway." "Who the hell is Kenna?" "Uncle Davey was there, too." "Uncle Davey was Davey Birnbaum, a veteran alibi joint operator." "An alibi joint is one of those games that seems easy to win, where you toss a softball into the big basket, only no one ever wins." "That's why the operator better have a good alibi when the mark gets hot." "Uncle Davey forgot more alibis than most guys knew, not because he was that good, but because he forgot everything." "The guy was completely senile, always forgot my name and always forgot his teeth." "Every time we checked out of a hotel, there was this major beef because Davey would accuse the maid of steeling his dentures." "Kenna's the kid... the kid, Davey, Mortie's kid." "Oh, yeah, Karen." "Good kid." "How are you?" "I'm okay." "All right, Davey, you play the mark." "I don't wanna be the mark." "Pilot, you be the mark." "Wait a minute." "Mark?" "Mark?" "Who's Mark?" "I don't know any goddamn Mark." "Uncle Davey, that blonde lady that runs the garage right next to the skydiver was asking about you." "Oh, yeah?" "Oh, yeah, all the time." "You should go talk to her." "Yeah, maybe I will." "She's over there now." "You better hurry." "Watch the master go to work." "Thanks for the tip, Kelly." "Come on, Big Shelly." "Teach me, teach me." "It's real easy, kid." "All you gotta do is keep the mark confused." "You ready, Pilot?" "All you gotta do is keep the mark confused." "And 17 is your change." "Go ahead and keep a dollar for yourself, honey." "Thanks." "I hope it's no trouble, but can I give you, say, ten ones for a ten?" "These things are getting out of hand." "Of course, beautiful, anything for you." "Thanks." "On second thought, let me give you back this ten plus the ten ones I just gave you for the twenty." "These bills are confusing." "Sure, sure, I understand." "Don't mention it." "Thanks a lot." "You know, it just warms my heart to know you had so many good influences as a child." "Remind me to keep my wallet in my front pocket from now on." "Haven't I taught you anything?" "Only a stiff keeps his money in a wallet." "Right." "You still coming over to the party after work?" "I wouldn't miss it." "What is the deal with shots?" "And I'm not talking about, you know, your classic whiskey and bourbon." "I'm talking about all these Fuzzy Navels and Sex on the Beach." "You name it, I can make it, but I just..." "I see it all the time." "It's strictly for amateurs." "A bunch of guys come in a bar, and they're all excited because their wives or their girlfriends are letting them out, and what do they do?" "They start doing shots." "Next thing you know it's an hour later, and half of them are wrestling on my bar, and the other guys are laying out comatose, and there's always that one guy laying in a pool of his own vomit," "albeit with a smile on his face, but these guys are 40 years old." "All right, so everyone know the rules, right?" "I don't think I do." "Oh, it's real simple." "We got kick-ass hot sauces with Scoville levels from 2,000 to 500,000." "Wait, wait, Scoville ratings?" "Yeah, it's the heat index by which all hot peppers are rated." "Anyway, you get one point per drop for the lowest on the Scoville scale, up to five points for the most potent." "First man to a hundred wins the pot, but if you kick out early, you gotta kick in an extra 20 bucks." "All right?" "It's easy as that." "Who's first?" "Ante up." "Give me three drops of number three, my man." "♪ When all your troubles wither away ♪" "♪ Oh... ♪" "Hey, man, I did have another one." "Good to see you, Carl." "Yeah, likewise, Jeff." "What's been happening, man?" "Not much." "Trying to get laid as much as possible." "I thought you were going out with Rachel, man." "Yeah, two years now." "What are you, fucking around on her?" "No, man, I'm not greedy." "I just gotta get as much as I can while I still can." "What, are you dying or something?" "I don't understand." "Jeff, this will probably sound nuts, but I've got this little theory." "Yeah?" "Let me explain, and just stay with me." "Okay." "You might thank me later." "All right." "Okay, look over there." "Yeah." "Aren't they just incredible creatures?" "Yeah." "No argument here." "And look over here." "Aren't they just..." "creatures?" "Yep." "So why do they have anything to do with us?" "Uh, I've been asking myself the same goddamn question, Carl." "Of course you have, man, because you're a thinker like me." "Okay, now, keep following me." "Now that the whole girl-on-girl thing has become so much more acceptable," "I figure it's just a matter of time before women will have this mass epiphany, and that will be it." "They'll have no use for us anymore." "Hmm." "Think about it." "Say you're a girl in a numerical situation." "Right." "What?" "Numerical situation?" "Sixty-nine, man." "Sixty-nine." "Yeah." "Try to keep up, Jeff." "Okay, sorry." "I'm back." "I'm back, okay." "Okay, say you're the girl on the bottom side of this numerical situation." "When you hook up, what do you want to see?" "What do I want to see?" "A beautiful round ass with a trim little..." "Yeah." "Ooh." "Or a big set of swinging, sweaty, hairy, filthy..." "Carl, Carl, I got it." "I got it." "Sorry, Jeff." "Okay." "Continue." "Anyway, that's why I'm getting as much as I can while she's gracious enough to give it to me because time is running out." "And I suggest you start doing the same thing." "All right, the eight-grade dance is simple." "Now, remember when you were in the eighth grade, and you're going to a dance, and it's not enough that you have to mix with people of the other sex, but you don't really know how to dance," "so the first time you get on the floor, you kind of stick to a basic step, you know, going side to side." "You look around, make sure nobody thinks you're uncool, keep doing it, and as the night goes on, then you get a little bit cocky and you start throwing your hands into it... like this." "Yeah." "Everybody seems to accept that, so you keep going, and then maybe by the end of the night, you throw your head into it." "You think you're, like, John Travolta, the way you dance." "It's the eighth-grade dance." "♪ Don't think I can't ♪" "♪ Won't really let you in ♪" "♪ All I hear is baby ♪" "♪ Don't you know what's happening?" "♪" "♪ You see, we're in a situation ♪" "Hey, dude, you heard anything about Dolly, that sheep?" "No, man." "Oh." "Want a chip?" "Yeah, that would be all right." " Hey." " Hey." "Big night?" "Yeah, you could say that." "Okay, let me guess." "Martin of Jeff?" "Jeff." "Oh, you're half right." "What do you mean?" "How can I be half right?" "What happened?" "Oh, my God, Kenna, you doubled down." "Bingo." "You slut." "I am so jealous." "Yeah, right." "You've got to be careful what you wish for." "Did I get any calls?" "Oh, you know, just the usual..." "American Express, MasterCard, student loans, you know..." "You can stop me anytime." "Glad to see I have some consistency in my life, right?" "Yeah, well..." "Oh, your mother called." "What?" "My mother called?" "I didn't really ask any questions." "She just left a number." "The note's on the table." "Is everything okay?" "Yeah." "Um, I've got to go." "I'll see you." "Okay, bye." "Oh, Kenna, come here, baby girl." "Somebody I want you to meet." "This is, uh... your aunt, your long lost Aunt Sharlee." "Hi there, cutey." "Ain't she a cutie, Mortie." "I don't really think you're my aunt, but if you were, would that make you my mom's sister?" "Hey, hey, hey, hey," "I told you a thousand times." "Don't bring up that piece of shit." "She's scum." "Took money for the goddamn kid." "Do you believe that shit?" "Made me buy my own kid for a lousy five Gs." "Surprise." "Hey, great to see you." "I was beginning to wonder." "So any winners in there?" "God, I hope so." "Five days, Kenna, it's your show." "I know, I know." "I'm actually getting kind of nervous." "You should be." "I've seen, what, eight or nine pieces, and we agreed on over 30." "I don't want you to worry, okay?" "This is very important to me." "Plus I'm going to make you look good." "Wait a second, I'm here to take you to lunch." "Oh, I'm flattered." "I'm starved." "I don't know." "All my life it's been so easy, you know?" "I mean, women have always responded very positively to me, and you know I like to consider myself a pretty modest guy, but naturally when something comes easily, you tend to take advantage of the situation." "You know, you start to take things for granted." "Anyways..." "Hey, guys, are we lifting or are we talking?" "Sorry, give me a sec." "By the way, we're going to have to make this kind of quick." "Lunch date?" "I wish." "No, some client's got a software problem." "Everyone misses, you, dear, and they all wish you would come back." "Mom, can we not start that up again?" "I'm sorry, but I have just picked up some clients that I think you would really be interested in." "Okay, let's just change the subject." "I don't understand this bartender thing." "I don't appreciate you disparaging what I do." "There's nothing wrong with the service industry." "It's real people doing real work." "Jeffrey, please, couldn't you just do your show at night?" "Mom, you know I had to intern two years to get that slot?" "And you don't get paid." "Are we going to get some food?" "Is there a waiter in this place?" "Oh, thanks." "It looks great." "Thanks." "Thanks a lot." "So how are your boyfriends?" "Now..." "Now you?" "Wait, wait." "Why all of a sudden is this everyone's favorite subject matter here?" "Because it's interesting, and mainly it's not every day you get to ask, "How are your boyfriends?"" "Okay, okay, I'll indulge you." "They're fine." "Actually they're starting to be... a bit of a problem." "I mean, it's not that Kenna abuses me or anything." "It's just that..." "I mean, look." "I'm smart enough to know she's kind of got the upper hand here." "But you've got to admit she's prettier than that last chick I saw you with." "What was her name?" "Kenna, Mom." "Kenna?" "Not my little barmaid friend." "I'm sorry, Jeffrey, but you bring her around so often." "Maybe if somebody wasn't so condescending all the time." "Okay, okay." "But it's not like you intend to marry this girl." "Now, I don't want you to get upset, but I have met this darling girl from Charlotte." "She just moved here..." "Mom, stop." "Jeffrey, dear, don't you ever intend to get married?" "No, not really." "Most of your friends don't seem to feel that way." "Yeah, and you know something?" "No one ever says, "Hey, Jeff, man, you got to get married."" "Come on, I'm kidding." "Actually I'm trying to be smart here." "It sounds more like you're being naive." "How so?" "Because no matter how you trivialize it, you're dealing with a couple of lethal male emotions." "I am?" "You see, even if they assure you they're okay with the situation, the fact remains they're guys." "I mean, this is very primal, Kenna." "You can't just upset five million years of evolution and not expect repercussions." "Wait, I'm not trying to change any evolutionary axiom here," "Rebecca, come on." "But for lack of a better term, this whole power dominance thing is a complete joke." "Let's face it." "Men have been bending the rules forever." "I'm just trying to bend them back." "You ever tried one before?" "Yes." "So is it fun being in the circus?" "It's not the circus, stupid." "It's a carnival." "So you travel around a lot." "Yep." "So you get to miss a lot of school?" "No." "I wish." "My dad only takes me with him over the summer." "After, I have to stay here with my aunt." "I bet you've been to a bunch of different states, though." "Tons." "Hey, have you been to California?" "Lots." "How about Texas?" "Uh-huh." "Boston?" "Boston's a city, Einstein." "Oh, yeah, I knew that." "What's the name of the state, then?" "I don't have to tell you." "You don't know." "Michigan." "Boston, Michigan?" "That's hilarious." "Shut up, Kenna." "You think you're so smart." "Boston, Michigan." "Boston, Michigan." "Shut up, Kenna." "At least I'm not a bastard." "God, Travis, you're so dumb." "I'm not a bastard, because a bastard doesn't know who her father is." "It's my mother that I don't know." "Hey, can I have another smoke?" "No." "Why not?" "Because." "Because why?" "You're mean and you laughed at me." "Okay, I'm sorry I laughed at you." "Now, can I please have a smoke?" "No." "No." "Come on, Travis, just give me one." "Come on!" "No." "Come on." "No." "Give me 'em." "Now, give them to me." "No, never." "Now, give them to me!" "No, never!" "♪ Wait ♪" "♪ Don't rush me ♪" "♪ Wait ♪" "♪ Don't rush me ♪" "♪ Wait ♪" "♪ Don't rush me ♪" "♪ Wait ♪" "♪ Don't rush me ♪" "♪ Don't think I can't ♪" "♪ Won't really let you in ♪" "♪ All I hear is baby ♪" "♪ Don't you know ♪" "Hey!" "♪ What's happening?" "♪" "Hey, can you cut the Kama Sutra crap, and let's get back to some good, old-fashioned boning here?" "My God, I'm getting dizzy with all this spinning and the flipping already." "Excuse me." "I'm sorry, Jeff." "I just felt like an unwitting partner in some sort of sexual Olympic competition or something." "Oh, that's bullshit." "Look, I was just trying to switch things up." "You know, I was..." "Okay." "I was try to bring..." "No, I was just trying to do..." "Yeah, I know." "What?" "That's what this is about." "You're trying to compete with Martin." "You know what?" "Don't flatter yourself." "I don't have to compete with anybody." "That's..." "That's for jocks and greedy assholes, like Marvin." "Hmm." "You're so fucking transparent, it's laughable." "Yeah, well, you know what?" "There's nothing wrong with transparency when it's shedding light on the truth." "Oh, really?" "And what truth might that be?" "Kenna, the g... the guy is not like you and I." "He's conservative right down the line." "Try moderate." "Yeah, well..." "Well, he drives one of those three-story Humvees." "It's called Tahoe, Jeff." "Look, the guy worships Ricky Martin, Kenna." "More like Woody Allen, Jeff." "Well, he probably shaves his ass." "Okay, he has a nine-inch penis." "Oh, come on." "Don't clam up now, Jeff, please." "Come on, give it to me." "No, no." "No, really... really, I..." "I want to hear it." "He does not like Woody Allen." "You know what I'm saying?" "No, I don't." "What I do know is that you love to judge people." "It's so hypocritical." "Just because all you do is sit around all day and read your Nation magazine and listen to those ancient RB guys..." "You're dreaming, okay?" "No, actually, I'm leaving." "What for?" "God." "A guy tries to give a girl a little sexual dynamics." "This is the thanks I get?" "Look, we both know that's not what this is about." "You told me before, you were cool with this situation." "It's totally cool." "Totally lip service." "I mean, let me know, Jeff." "Hey." "What?" "Look." "Impressive." "You know, I just love it when you yell at me." "Looks like we're moving into the pole vault competition." "By the way, I would've given you an overall 9.4." "I'll take that." "Kenna, hey, it's me." "Call me." "I'm trying to get a crew together for tonight." "I'm really in the mood for some cocktails." "Bye." "Hey, it's Martin." "I've got something really exciting to tell you about." "I'll be at home for a while." "Give me a call." "I'm trying to reach Kenna." "Kenna, this is your mother." "I'd really like..." "Hey, it's me." "What's going on?" "Yeah?" "What's up for tonight?" "Let's just say I can be easily persuaded." "Super who?" "Oh, right, right, right, Super K." "Yeah, I've heard of him." "This is crap." "This is shit." "This aspires to be shit." "God, what am I doing?" "Gonna make a complete fool out of myself." "Hey, Kenna, you down there?" "It's me." "Kenna!" "Wow." "Interesting." "Kenna, these are really awesome." "Awesome, Martin?" "Come on." "No, seriously, they're excellent." "I mean it." "You're not patronizing me, are you?" "No..." "No, I'm not." "Wow, I can see I'm walking a tightrope here." "No, these are really good, Kenna." "I don't know why you're so weird about showing your work to people." "I think you shouldn't be so sensitive." "I'm sorry, Martin." "I'm just, um..." "I'm not that confident as an artist, yet, you know?" "Did I just call myself an artist?" "That is so pretentious." "I guess I'm just nervous, you know?" "Yeah, I know, but I'm certainly no artist, but from what I can see, you have nothing to be nervous about." "Yeah, famous last words." "So this is where you do the developing, right?" "I like it here." "Yeah, it's great, isn't it?" "Mm-hmm." "This is a huge part of photography." "A lot of the really cool shit happens here." "A lot of the artistry." "Okay, the artistry." "The artistry because you can manipulate images and alter lighting, and even the best eye can be betrayed by what it sees." "Voilà." "That's pretty disturbing, Kenna." "Thanks." "You want to try one?" "Uh, no, no." "I don't know the first thing about photography." "Don't worry." "It's not that difficult." "Come on." "You sure?" "Positive." "I don't want to blow up your apartment." "You're not going to." "Okay." "I've been working on one." "It'll be good for practice." "All right." "Oh." "Okay." "You take the photo paper." "Mm-hmm." "Place it into the enlarger." "The exposure." "Take the print from the enlarger." "Mm-hmm." "Gently place it into the developer." "Make sure it's completely immersed." "Mm-hmm." "Mm-hmm." "When you see the image coming, that you like, you quickly..." "I stress quickly... immerse it into the stop bath" "Now, take the tongs." "Okay." "Oh, yeah, it's kind of like a barbecue." "Right, that's cute." "Just like a barbecue." "Okay, make sure it's completely immersed in the stop bath." "All the way through." "Okay." "Good." "That's good." "All right." "Okay, now, put the tongs down." "Okay." "Now, take the tray and rock it back and forth in a slow motion." "It requires a little rhythm." "I think you can handle it." "Good." "Yeah, it's working." "What?" "It's working." "I think I feel an enlargement coming on." "God, I'm not..." "Okay, I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "Please continue." "Okay." "Into the fixer." "I'm going to buy you the sexiest dress." "You're going to make all the guys at the party drool all over themselves..." "Okay, that's it." "I'm kidding." "I'm calling Cro-Magnon on you." "No, that was a joke." "Did you get it?" "Did you..." "No?" "No, no." "Well, okay, I'll leave you alone." "Good luck, okay?" "And I can't wait for the opening." "Thank you." "And thanks for the frame." "That's beautiful." "Oh, my God, this guy is a complete trip." "There's something about a skinny geek that just drives me crazy." "Okay." "Okay." "Up next, it's the DJ Super K mystery trivia question." "Ooh, right." "Wait, wait, wait, wait, that's not good enough." "I want to hear some real enthusiasm." "You don't seem powerful." "Again!" "But something's wrong." "They're awfully quiet over here." "Don't forget, this is DJ Super K's highest accolade of the evening!" "You gotta play to win." "Don't be afraid." "Come on, folks." "Easiest game on the whole midway." "Don't be afraid." "Come on, cowboy, step up here and win your little filly a hefty prize." "Heck, a bet a little bitty girl could knock over those bottles." "Where's the little bitty girl to show Tex how it's done?" "You." "Let her up here, folks." "That's it." "Come on up here." "What's your name, little bitty girl?" "Betsy." "Hey, it's little bitty Betsy, folks!" "All right, little bitty Betsy," "I'm going to show you how to knock over those bottles." "Are you ready?" "I think so." "All right, now, watch me, bitty Betsy." "See how simple that is?" "Ready to give it a shot?" "Yes, sir." "All right, fire away, little lady." "Hey, look it there!" "What did I tell you, folks!" "What did I tell you?" "So simple even a little bitty girl can do it." "Now, step on up here and win the biggest prize on the midway." "How about a little dog for you, little girl?" "There you go." "Give it a shot." "You." "Yes, you, glamorous nymphet of the night." "What's your name?" "Kenna." "It's a tough question." "I know, Countess Kenna, but they're going to get a lot tougher." "Are you ready?" "Give me three, not one, not two, not four, but three professional wrestling submission holds." "Figure-Four Deathlock, the Russian Sickle, and the Sleeper." "Correct, absolutely correct." "I am impressed, my vivacious vixen." "Come and get your DJ Super K action mystery prize." "Super K is so impressed, he's going to spin the next song just for her, but first, Malachi, oh-ho, Malachi," "I believe I've met my super soul mate." "Where are you, Malachi?" "♪ I feel the music ♪" "♪ Oh-oh ♪" "♪ I feel the music ♪" "Mmm." "Mmm." "Wow." "I'm telling you, Jason," "I am absolutely ready to go to the next level with Kenna, and I think this huge company party's going to be the closer." "I'm pulling out all the stops on this." "All right, man." "I was actually starting to wonder about you." "I mean, how long has it been?" "What, two, three months?" "Yeah." "I mean, Kenna's incredible." "Don't get me wrong." "She's incredible." "Yeah." "But..." "What?" "Listen, my man." "Sharing a chick with some fucking bartender, I mean, you know?" "You need to close the deal already, bro." "Jason, listen, look." "She laid out the ground rules." "She said no pressure, no commitment, and I've got to respect that." "It's going to be a hell of a night." "She's going to completely blow people away." "She's so sharp, and she's funny, and she's creative, not to mention the looks." "Wow, you are history, pal." "I'm going to miss you, man." "I really am." "It's that obvious?" "Yeah, completely pathetic, man." "No, no, no, no, no, look, cheers to you, my friend." "You deserve the best of everything, you lucky bastard." "Well, it's that clean living." "Pays off every time." "Mm-hmm." "Yeah, right." "Come on, man, let's get out of here." "Come on, let's go to Jacks." "Let's go, come on." "Wish I could." "I can't, I can't, I can't." "I've got plans with the family tonight." "Ah, la familia." "Familia, yes." "That's cool." "Con?" "Bien, muy bien." "Muy bien, muy bien." "Okay, I'll have the trout, but grilled, no butter, all right?" "You eat..." "With a bread crump, with the..." "With the lemon." "Dad, I don't eat like that anymore." "Could you please just have it grilled?" "Si, Papa, make mine like that, too." "You see what you start?" "Cuban food is no longer any good for you, no?" "No, no, no, for Mr. Big Shot, soon you will be eating those little fish eggs, the "Haviar."" "Caviar, Dad." "Real funny." "It's funny." "Hector, stop bothering him." "He's an executive." "Executives have to look nice and healthy." "Right, baby?" "Oh, you look so good in your suits, but your brothers..." "Why you not teach them the nicer things?" "Mom, they dress fine." "I dress like this because I have to." "Yeah, right, just because you have to." "Okay, everyone happy?" "Good." "Two, three, four ♪" "♪ Young Mary Alice ♪" "♪ Sweet Sister Jane ♪" "♪ Took off together ♪" "♪ Some promised land ♪" "♪ Met a handsome wheeler ♪" "♪ Along the way ♪" "♪ Now they're working at some dance hall ♪" "♪ Yeah, work Check it ♪" "♪ Night and day ♪" "♪ Night and day ♪" "Sorry, I feel like shit today." "You mind if we stop?" "You all right?" "I've got to stop." "I got cramps." "Here." "Sometimes this helps." "Oh, no, it's not my ovaries, sweetheart." "It's my stomach." "Oh, yeah, that's good." "Come here." "That's better." "Okay, what else do you need?" "Huh?" "What else do you need?" "Hey, I know what." "Why don't you tell me one of those carny stories of yours?" "Seriously." "Yeah." "Tell me that one about the sideshow freak..." "Shrimp Boy?" "Lobster Boy." "Yeah, Lobster Boy." "Oh, yeah." "I already told you that one." "So what?" "Tell me another one." "Are you sure?" "You really enjoy them?" "Yes, I really enjoy them." "They're excellent." "Come on." "Please?" "Okay, let me think." "All right, I got one." "Good." "This is one of my favorites, so don't make fun of me." "There's this crazy pig-iron worker with a..." "Wait, hang on, wait." "I'm already lost." "Pig-iron worker..." "What's that?" "Sorry, a pig-iron worker is a man who operates the rides." "Oh." "Anyway, his name was Peggy Sue," ""Peggy" because he had a wooden leg and "Sue" because, well, no one would ever tell me, but they assured me I didn't want to know." "This is going to sound really cruel, but people were always stealing his leg." "It was always the same old story." "He'd wake up from a mean, nasty drunk, and sure enough, no leg." "Cocksucker!" "I'll kill the motherfuckers!" "Where is it, you assholes?" "Part of the gag was to see who could come up with the most bizarre hiding places for it." "Let me tell you, there were some classics." "♪ Know you're right ♪" "♪ I'm gonna miss me when I'm gone ♪" "♪ I know you're right ♪" "♪ I'm gonna miss me when I'm gone ♪" "But the absolute number one was the time they didn't bother to hide the leg." "They just hid Peggy Sue." "Made sure he was good and passed out and loaded him on a semi bound for Texas, which was a pretty good ride considering we were in Delaware at the time." "And that's where the famous saying comes from." "Oh, yeah?" "What saying?" ""I'd rather be dead in Delaware than legless in West Texas."" "Wait a minute." "That's a famous saying?" "Of course not." "I just thought it sounded cool." "That's a great story, though." "Yeah, all right." "Obviously you're feeling better." "You should write a book some day." "Okay." "So..." "Friday is going to be something special." "You excited?" "Yeah, um, a little nervous, though." "You, nervous?" "About what?" "I don't know." "It's not really my scene, you know." "It's kind of formal." "Oh." "Do we have to go, Martin?" "Yeah, what kind of question is that?" "Of course we have to go." "It's a big opportunity for me, and all the senior partners are going to be there and..." "Okay, an opportunity." "I thought this was about us having a good time." "Okay, relax..." "hey, wait, wait, wait..." "Relax, don't worry." "You are going to have a blast." "I promise you, okay?" "Hey, so I've been banging this 19-year-old bank teller." "I know, she's a little young, but let me just say..." "Don't tell me, George." "You recommend it?" "I see how it is, panty waste." "What's up with you tonight?" ""Keena" ain't giving it up?" "It's Kenna, George." "Kenna." "And let me ask you something." "How come every time you come in here, you just feel this need to spout off about all the girls you're sleeping with, all the talent you're banging?" "I mean, for a guy doing so well, George, how come you're in here four nights a week?" "Hey, you got a chip on your shoulder or what?" "No, it's just..." "I don't know." "It's my experience, guys that always talk about getting laid... they're not getting laid, or they're repressing some sort of deep-seated homosexual fantasy." "Well, I ain't gay." "How do you know?" "Fuck you, how do I know." "I love women." "That's why." "See how defensive you just got?" "Are you saying I'm some kind of closet-case homo?" "Are you?" "Fuck you." "I told you I ain't no lock-jaw Johnson lover." "Listen, I could throw the rap with any chick in this bar here tonight and close her by the end of the evening." "That's impressive, George." "Okay, congratulations." "Let me just ask you something, George." "You ever have a homoerotic dream?" "A what?" "Homoerotic Dr..." "No." "No fucking way." "Why, have you?" "Yeah, yeah." "It's normal, George." "Maybe you're the closet case." "Maybe, maybe, but I'm not scared about it." "I mean I haven't fantasized about too many men, George." "Well, okay, I wouldn't kick Lenny Kravitz out of the sack." "I wouldn't kick..." "I guess it's true what they say about you male bartenders." "Well, maybe that's why you're coming in here seven nights a week, George." "Oh, suck my dick." "Whoa." "I mean, fuck you." "Oh, George." "I gotta take a piss." "Don't call me George." "Okay." "How you doing?" "Yeah, I mean, Super K's funny and shit, but, I don't know, calling him a DJ?" "That's blasphemy." "He's more of, like, a comedian." "You're so damn anal, it's amazing." "Did you just call me an asshole?" "Maybe I did." "What are you going to do about it, shrimp boy?" "I'm considering coming over this bar and bitch slapping your ass." "Oh, promises, promises." "You remember what Friday night is?" "No." "What?" "It's our anniversary, that's what." "Remember Maceo Parker concert, June 29th." "Oh, my God." "I feel terrible." "I just..." "Well, we haven't exactly..." "I never..." "That's really sweet that you remember that date." "Don't flatter yourself too much." "Anyway, this is what I had in mind." "A little fancy picnic, copious amounts of wine." "Wait, wait, wait, do I need to be there?" "You're such a bitch." "It sounds great." "The rum and Coke," "Lemon Drop, and PSOP." "Hey, sorry to keep you running, but can you get us two Belvedere martinis, dry, bone dry with three olives, and can you make those shaken, not stirred?" "Fuck." "I'm sorry." "Fuck." "Shaken, not stirred?" "What?" "What do you mean, you can't make it?" "I just can't." "I have plans." "Yeah, Kenna, this is kind of a big occasion." "Jeff, you don't understand." "Martin..." "Marvin?" "You have a date with Marvin." "Oh, oh, that's fine." "Come on, Jeff, lighten up, okay?" "This is a huge social event." "He bought me a beautiful gown." "No, it's fine." "It's fine." "Really it's fine." "You know what?" "It's just perfect." "Is it one of those high-society bullshit parties?" "Why don't you just make sure you fuck him in that beautiful gown of yours, okay, Cinderella?" "I need two Belvedere martinis, up, dry, bone dry, with three olives, and make those shaken, not stirred." "Shake this." "Hi." "Hi." "What can I get you?" "Well, actually, I was wondering if it's legal for the customer to buy the cute bartender a shot." "Oh, yeah?" "Uh, no problem." "That's great." "I love shots." "What can I..." "I nailed your ass." "Thanks." "What do you mean, you nailed my ass?" "What do I mean?" "I saw your head expand, like, three sizes." "You're so cute." "All right, all right," "Funny." "Very funny." "You got your laugh." "Guess who's forgiven you?" "Forgiven me?" "Jesus." "Okay, okay, forget about all that." "Can we go to sunrise services later?" "I don't know." "We'll see." "Come on, Jeff, please?" "Why not?" "Yeah, well, I may not be able to buy you fancy gifts..." "I was just thinking..." "God, this is great." "I never get tired of this." "Yeah... classic rhythm and blues." "I'm talking about the scene, Jeff, not the damn blues, okay, speaking of which, can we have something with a little more kick here?" "Wait, I like that song." "Touch it and you're dead." "♪ Baby, I ain't runnin' with those friends no more ♪" "♪ I've seen the clubs and the drugs for sure ♪" "♪ Baby, I'm really gonna make it right this time ♪" "♪ Yeah, it all makes sense ♪" "♪ Yeah, it all makes sense ♪" "♪ When you're tellin' lies ♪" "♪ Tellin' lies ♪" "♪ Tellin' lies ♪" "♪ Tellin' lies ♪" "♪ Hey, baby, I know it ain't in the magazines, and I... ♪" "♪ I know it ain't at home on my brand new color TV screen ♪" "♪ Shit, I'm really gonna make it right this time ♪" "♪ Yeah, I promise you this ♪" "♪ Baby, promise me this ♪" "♪ When you're all telling' lies ♪" "♪ Tellin' lies ♪" "Hello." "Hey." "Oh, you did, huh?" "Okay." "Bye." "♪ On your mark, get ready for this ♪" "♪ Life will change ♪" "♪ You've got to get up and do your work every day ♪" "♪ Ah... ha ♪" "Oh, wow, you're amazing." "You like?" "This is beautiful." "I..." "I love." "Oh, my God." "I can't believe you did this." "Thanks." "This might top the Maceo Parker concert." "Cheers." "Mmm." "My God, it's so good." "It's good, right?" "What's up?" "You seem kind of pensive." "Well, Kenna, as a matter of fact," "I've been doing some thinking." "Oh, God." "Seriously, I've been..." "I've been thinking about us." "Okay..." "A lot..." "I've been thinking about us a lot, and..." "I know it's not your favorite subject, but I just think that it's time that..." "Oh, God, can we just talk?" "God, I knew I shouldn't have done this." "Yeah, yeah, I guess you'd rather be making your debut." "Maybe." "Believe me, you're no fucking debutante." "I mean... why did you do all this, Kenna?" "What was it for?" "Does it mean anything to you?" "Yeah, just walk away." "That's..." "Yeah, just walk away." "That's great." "God damn it." "Look, I'm sorry about the debutante thing." "It's just, you've got to understand that I grew up with all that bullshit." "That's what it is, all bullshit." "That's easy for you to say." "Yeah, it is easy for me to say because I know it." "Look, Kenna, all those people, they may have a lot of money, but they're just as fucked up as anybody else, and their kids?" "Their kids wind up spending more time with their therapists than they do with their friends." "Yeah, that may be, but I would love to be able to afford to go to a therapist and have her tell me how fucked up I am." "That sounds really nice, Jeff." "Look, Kenna, listen to what you're saying." "Spare me." "The high and mighty shit's getting old, okay?" "I mean, you have things you can fall back on, right?" "As much as we hate labels," "I'm a fucking cocktail waitress, and I'm getting sick and tired of serving drunk assholes." "I want to try and be a photographer." "Wait a second, you are a photographer." "Just because right now you happen to be..." "Spare me the nobility lecture on art and commerce, okay?" "That may work for you, but you have no idea what it's like to come from nothing and to have nothing, and if you get in trouble, your family can bail you out." "That's a security I don't have." "Oh, you know, I don't know about that." "I just know that if you come be with me..." "Come be there for me, right?" "Is that what you mean, Jeff?" "And right now I can't do that." "The whole relationship thing is just..." "Is what?" "Is what?" "I don't know." "It's..." "Right now I am totally committed to my photography, okay?" "And..." "Yeah." "No, I understand." "I understand." "That's no problem." "I'm going to..." "I'm going to pack up." "Okay?" "Yeah." "These are excellent, Kenna." "You've really got something here." "You think?" "Definitely." "Your composition is challenging, and thematically I'm really getting it." "Or at least I was, anyway." "Oh, sweetheart..." "These just..." "These don't really belong." "I know they don't exactly fit, but they're very important to me." "Um, it's..." "It's still just not really a good idea." "I mean, they just..." "Frankly... and please don't take it personally... they're just not as accomplished as all your other work." "Well, I shot most of them when I was younger, but I always promised myself I'd put them in my first real show." "Rebecca, this may sound corny, but these are me." "This is where I come from." "Oh." "Darn it." "Oh..." "That was close, big guy, real close." "Damn it." "Sorry, baby." "Baby, please, I have to have that red bulldog." "I don't think I have any..." "No, I don't have anything left." "How about this for 12 balls, man?" "Sorry, pal, no barter." "Cash only." "Oh, come on, for the lady, one time." "Like I said, pal..." "Hey, all right, nine balls, come on." "All right, nine balls." "Let them fly." "Step right up, folks." "You gotta play to win." "Whoo-hoo!" "All right, get the lady a red bulldog there." "All right." "Hey." "All right." "Hey, kiddo, I got a surprise for you." "What is it?" "Uh-uh." "Close your eyes and hold open your hand." "All right, kid, open them." "Wow." "You like?" "Thank you, Daddy." "Thank you." "All right, baby, all right." "Knock yourself out." "Daddy's got to make some money." "Okay, suit yourself." "I'll find a place for them." "Thanks, Rebecca." "You won't be sorry." "♪ Young girl, listen ♪" "♪ I've got something to tell ♪" "♪ Most importantly ♪" "♪ I see you on the floor ♪" "♪ Where your heart's ready ♪" "♪ Too many places ♪" "♪ To pick up now ♪" "♪ Something inside is broken ♪" "♪ Don't leave a love not spoken ♪" "♪ No-no, no-no, no-no ♪" "♪ Hear what I say ♪" "♪ 'Cause something inside is broken ♪" "♪ Believe in love not spoken ♪" "♪ Inside ♪" "♪ Oh, this darkest day ♪" "♪ Oh, no ♪" "♪ Ooh, young girl ♪" "♪ Found a love to do you justice ♪" "♪ Yeah ♪" "♪ And you'll never be brighter now ♪" "♪ Ooh, young girl ♪" "♪ Found a love to do you... ♪ You came." "Hey." "I know you hate me." "I did a really shitty thing, okay?" "No argument here." "I'm glad to see one of us is handling things like an adult." "I wouldn't give me that much credit, Kenna." "I've had some not so nice thoughts about you." "In fact I'm still really pissed off." "Anyway, I'm here." "I'm here to support you, as always." "You're amazing." "You know that?" "You really are, and I want to see you tomorrow." "I don't know." "Come on, Martin." "Give me a chance to make it up to you." "Kenna, I said I don't know." "Okay?" "Fine." "You know where I'll be if you want to see me." "Okay." "Oh, my God, you're a genius." "You know those carnival pieces?" "Some woman just bought all of them." "You're kidding." "No, I'm not." "And she paid full price for the entire series, and she insists on meeting with you." "Come on." "♪ To pick up now ♪" "♪ Something inside is broken ♪" "♪ Don't leave a love not spoken ♪" "♪ No-no, no-no, no-no ♪" "♪ Hear what I say ♪" "You said, like, 20 times ago this is the last time." "I'm not taking it anymore." "I mean, how bad do you want to humiliate me?" "I am not garbage." "Well, now, that's debatable." "We're leaving." "I'm through." "What the fuck you say?" ""We're leaving"?" "Who the fuck's we?" "Kenna and me, we're leaving..." "Uh-uh, big shot." "Uh-uh." "This is how it works." "You want to leave?" "Leave." "I'll give you, say... five grand to get you started... but you ain't taking the kid." "You're not taking my child." "Fine, genius." "Fine." "You want the kid, take her." "I'll give you nothing, no papers, no marriage." "Hell, I don't gotta give you a dime." "I don't have anybody." "Why are you doing this to me?" "Why are you doing this?" "Here... take the five grand... and hit the fucking road." "Here's your check." "Oh, Kenna, I'm so glad you came." "No, I just came here to give you this." "I don't need your money." "No, that's for you." "No, I don't want it." "Please, I was sincere." "Please, just take it." "Okay, but would you sit and talk with me for a minute?" "Look, I don't want to get angry." "I just want to get out of here, okay?" "Can I at least buy you a drink?" "All right, but at the bar." "Okay." "How you doing?" "Can I have a blue margarita, please?" "I'm fine, thanks." "So of all the nights, why did you pick this one?" "This is not the way that I had planned it." "Yeah, I know." "It was a coincidence you just happened to show up at my opening, right?" "No, actually, I was already in Tampa." "I knew that you lived here." "I just had to talk to you, and when I called your roommate and she asked me if I was calling about your opening..." "Okay, did you have any idea how important this evening is for me?" "When I realized that you were... that you were my mother..." "I apologize, Kenna." "It was wrong." "I just had to see you." "Hmm." "Well, you see me." "You have every right to be angry." "Oh, I can be angry, huh?" "You know what?" "Don't patronize me." "Look, if you just calm down." "Don't tell me what to do either." "Kenna, some day you may find out that not everything is so black and white." "You know what?" "Spare me the motherly dime-store philosophy, okay?" "What is this here?" "What do you want from me?" "You want me to give you a hug and a kiss and say thank you, and we can be mother and daughter and be really happy?" "Why did..." "What kind of mother leaves their daughter?" "A very young, very confused one." "Okay, 'cause now I'm confused." "What is it that you're looking for here?" "What do you want?" "I don't know." "I was hoping that..." "I thought maybe..." "I appreciate this." "I really do, but I should be getting back, so thank you for the drink." "I've got to go now, okay?" "Can we talk again?" "I don't know." "Whatever." "How about I call you?" "I don't know." "I should be getting back." "Look, Kenna, before you go, take this check." "I can't." "But I was so serious." "I love those photographs, and I know you could use this money." "Frankly, I really could use that, but there are more important things." "Okay, you made your point." "I'm sorry." "I really do appreciate the offer, but I can't accept it, okay?" "I should be getting back." "What about the photos?" "Please keep them." "They're yours." "Yeah, that guy right there is in that picture." "Hey, superstar, how's it going?" "It's all right." "All right?" "You're blowing everybody away." "It's awesome." "That's really sweet, Jeff, especially coming from you." "What's that supposed to mean?" "I don't know." "Are you ever satisfied, Kenna?" "Not now, okay?" "Hey, do you want to... do you want to come over to the station tomorrow afternoon?" "Maybe we can hang out, huh?" "I can't." "Oh, you have plans?" "Is that it?" "Yeah, never mind." "No problem." "I'm going to go grab a drink, okay?" "I'll see you in a bit." "Hey." "How's it going, Jeff?" "Hey, you don't mind giving me a vodka tonic, do you?" "Some lime?" "I'm just kidding you." "No, I get it." "I'm a bartender." "That's really funny." "That's really clever, man." "Good afternoon." "WMNF." "Hey, Jeff?" "Yeah, this is Jeff." "In order to be a DJ over there, is it a requirement that you have to be a total moron?" "No, no, not totally." "Just have to sound like one." "Well, it sure sounds like you've got your head up your..." "MNF." "John Lee Hooker with his first hit from Modern Records, "Boogie Chillen'"." "Well, folks, I don't mean to disparage..." "What's the problem?" "There's no problem." "Oh, shit." "I can't do it, Kenna." "Yeah, I kind of noticed." "No, I could do it." "It's not it that I'm referring to." "It's this." "Well, folks, I don't mean..." "This fucked-up situation you got me in." "Being with you while listening to this asshole DJ of yours." "I'm your host Jeff McClain, and I'd like to thank the more than 10,000 listener sponsors in Tampa Bay area" "It's not cure anymore, Kenna." "Can't you see what's going on here, huh?" "I mean, fun and games are fun and games." "That's great and everything, but I'm 32." "I'm not a fucking kid anymore." "Are you done yelling?" "I hope you're done yelling because I'm done listening." "No." "No, you haven't." "Actually, you're going to listen to someone for once." "You need to get over yourself, Kenna." "And I know this is going to strike the fear of God in you, but I am completely crazy about you, and I don't want to share you with some two-bit bartender." "Right, first of all, don't ever tell me what I want and what I need, okay?" "I've been nothing but crystal clear with you about the situation from the beginning." "Oh, the situation." "That's right." "I'm so fucking tired of the situation, Kenna." "Fuck you, fuck your situation, and fuck this two-bit philosophy-king bartender." "Okay, Martin, if you want to blast me because that makes you feel better, go right ahead, but just leave Jeff out of this, okay?" "You know nothing about him." "You know what?" "Fuck, I do know something about him." "He's a loser." "Loser." "Did you know that he has a law degree from Georgetown?" "What?" "Okay, so he's an overqualified bartender." "Big shit." "Maybe he has principles." "Principles?" "He doesn't have principles." "He just couldn't cut it." "Bye." "We're getting slammed tonight." "Thank God." "I could sure use the scratch." "Great." "What?" "T.G.I. Friday's closed tonight?" "That's enough, Jeff." "Before you jump all over me, let me just start by saying that I apologize for coming here." "I know you have your rules." "I just wanted to tell you that I'm really sorry about this afternoon." "Thanks." "I'm sorry as well." "So do you have a minute?" "Can we talk?" "Martin, I'm working." "I know, but, Kenna, we need to..." "I think we need to talk." "I mean, I'm..." "Look, I'm not proud to be here as it is." "Could you just give me a few minutes, please?" "Jesus." "Follow me." "Come on." "What's up?" "Well, pretty much showed my hand and my ass earlier this afternoon, so I won't rehash that, but I did mean what I said about..." "Kenna, I'm nuts about you, and I just want to make this thing work between us." "That's all." "Martin..." "No, just let me finish." "Hang on a second." "I make a good living, I've got all my teeth, and today, notwithstanding," "I think I'm pretty good in the sack." "And I'm sure this guy Jeff, I'm sure he's a great guy, but, please, we've all got to grow up some day, and I know if you give this thing a real shot," "I'm sure..." "I'm positive that you will never look back." "You don't have to sell yourself to me, okay, Martin?" "Listen to me." "You have all the qualities a woman would kill for." "Can you listen to me now?" "Martin, I told you from the beginning." "I'm not into this whole big-deal thing, okay?" "But if I was, I wouldn't have to look any further than you." "Hmm." "It's just right now I have to focus on other things, okay?" "And it may sound selfish to you, and it may not be what you want to hear, but if you want to hang out casually, that's fine..." "Hang..." "Hang out." "Kenna, that is priceless." ""Hang out casually."" "No, no, hey, casual's cool." "It's cool, yeah." "I mean, I stated my case." "You stated your case." "Yeah, I can hang out casually." "Let's hang out and have some casual sex." "No, come on." "Martin, come on." "Please, no, come on." "I like casual." "We can have some casual sex." "I don't think this is a good idea, okay?" "Kenna, please." "Come on." "Hey, Marvin." "Hey!" "What, has all the bars at Pleasure Island closed, or what?" "Huh?" "Fuck off, bar boy." "I just can't be all cool and slick and perfect like you are." "Jeff, please shut up." "Hey, fuck this guy." "You want a piece of me?" "You got a problem with me?" "You want a piece of me?" "♪ Far side of the tracks ♪" "♪ He's gonna make a million dollars ♪" "♪ As a matter of fact ♪" "♪ So we're just all from Hollywood ♪" "♪ With all the hair on the bass guitar ♪" "These the assholes who cold cocked Nick Cosper?" "These are the ones." "They look pretty good, considering they hit an officer of the law." "Officer Cosper must've been in a very forgiving mood." "Sir, clearly any battery of the officer was unintentional." "Now, who is this F. Lee Bailey clown?" "Do me a favor." "Send him my way." "I've got a little treat for these two." "Take them off, boys." "Uh, I'm sorry." "Take them off?" "Your clothes, dickhead." "Come on, strip down, drawers and all." "Let's go." "You've got to be kidding me." "Sir, this is a violation of our rights." "I want to talk to my lawyer." "You can see your lawyer after you're deloused." "Officer Draper, would you care to give our little civil libertarian here some assistance?" "So you call your father to bail you out yet?" "My father?" "Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, you can stop posing." "I'm well aware that you come from money." "Yeah, whatever, man." "I'm waiting on Kenna." "She's going to bail you out?" "You called her?" "No, I didn't call her." "I know she's going to get me out." "She might, she might... after she bails me out first." "Dream on, Marvin." "When are you going to wake up, man?" "Marvin..." "I like that." "Marvin." "That's funny." "We'll see, Mr. Smug." "We'll see." "Thanks for listening this morning." "This is DJ Dan sitting in for Jeff, who is incarcerated..." "I mean, incapacitated." "I'll be your host for this afternoon's rhythm and blues cruise." "Hope you stay tuned." "The request lines are open, so give me a call at 555-WMNF." "Dropping the needle on real vinyl and spinning the blues." "Can you meet me somewhere?" "That's 250 for Jeff McClain, 250 for Martin Lopez." "All right, so the cops came and hauled them both off to jail." "I don't know what happened." "I just freaked out." "Fuck." "Then I left." "God, I can be such a miserable bitch sometimes." "Anyway, I went home with some strange, little DJ." "Okay, you can close your mouth now." "I'm sorry." "That is, uh..." "That's one hell of a story." "I thought I could screw things up." "I am so sorry." "Don't apologize." "No, I have no right." "Mom, please, no more apologies." "Anyway..." "I can't seem to stop sabotaging anything positive in my life, you know?" "Do you think I'm hopeless?" "You're asking me?" "Who else am I going to ask?" "Hmm?" "I've burned everyone else out." "Well, I could certainly talk from experience." "Okay, wait a second." "I'm the queen of fuckups here." "Well, listen, if you're the queen of fuckups, then that makes me the queen mom, and God knows your dad was the king." "You poor kid, you got the double whammy, huh?" "It's no wonder you're such a fuckup." "So what do you know about that gene therapy stuff?" "Well, I guess it's true what they say... you reap what you sow, so I reaped a ton of shit." "See, the way I was raised, you're taught to stay three moves ahead of the mark." "That way when there's a blowdown, you've already sloughed up and blown town." "It's solid logic I've tried valiantly to live by, only this isn't the amusement business." "Trust me, this shit just don't fly in the civilian world." "When the stakes are high, people play to win." "When they want to win bad enough, they get desperate." "I set up the game so I handle the heat the only way I know how, which is, well, Christ, you know the story." "Anyway, things actually played out okay." "Jeff ended up going into civil rights law, something admirable, so that helps mitigate his distaste for the profession." "He's still spouting opinions and spinning soul, and that's a good thing." "As for Martin, let's just say his involvement with me made him a staunch advocate of conventional relationships." "I'm very happy for him." "Let's face it." "We live in a lightning-fast world with a flexible rule book, and everybody's just flailing away blindly, so I'll save you the speeches and the second-rate symbolism." "Sorry, couldn't resist." "And I'll just say this... life is like a midway." "It could scare you or it could seduce you." "It can elate you or take everything you have." "But one thing is for sure..." "If you don't play, you'll never take home the big prize." "♪ Come on, let's go ♪" "♪ Come on, let's go ♪" "♪ Come on, let's go ♪" "♪ We're waiting for the show ♪" "♪ In the meantime ♪" "♪ We'll drink sunshine ♪" "♪ In the meantime ♪" "♪ We'll drink sunshine ♪" "♪ Since the last time we spoke ♪" "♪ And the first time we last touched ♪" "♪ I've been dreaming of you ♪" "♪ When the sun goes down ♪" "♪ And the moon shines overhead ♪" "♪ I go dreaming for you ♪" "♪ You're in my head ♪" "♪ I'm not over you ♪" "♪ Cherry pick, my love ♪" "♪ I've grown them just for you ♪" "♪ It'll be any time now ♪" "♪ We're both waiting here anyhow ♪" "♪ It'll be any time now ♪" "♪ It'll be any time now ♪" "♪ Come on, let's go ♪" "♪ Come on, let's go ♪" "♪ Come on, let's go ♪" "♪ We're waiting for the show ♪" "♪ In the meantime ♪" "♪ We'll drink sunshine ♪" "♪ In the meantime ♪" "♪ We'll drink sunshine ♪" "Closed-Captioned By Burbank, CA Services, Inc."