"Dr. Rosen?" "Oh, Ms. Flynn." "Please, come in." "Thank you." "I'm all nervous." "I never do that therapy thing before." "Well, lucking for us, I have." "Please, take a seat." "Is this a test?" "If I sit on the left side do I hate my mother, and the right side I'm OCD?" "It's more a question of comfort." "Okay." "Well, the "I hate my mother" chair looks pretty comfortable." "Oh..." "You know what?" "Actually, it's not." "I'm just gonna..." "I don't have OCD, just for the record." "Okay." "Just sit there." "You know what, I want to..." "Right off the bat, I just want to say that" "I don't really need to be here." "My husband was kind of, you know, into the whole "you should try therapy,"" "and my insurance is running out and you're on my plan, and, you know, I was just getting my-my teeth cleaned right around the..." "you know, the... if you kind of go left, and-and I thought, well, you're getting your teeth cleaned, maybe get your noggin cleaned." "So you didn't want to come?" "Oh, no, no." "No, no, no." "I mean, I'm very, uh..." "I'm very interested in the process." "I'm curious, I'm a writer." "Oh." "How long have you been doing that?" "Oh... gosh, six months." "Going on seven months." "Yeah." "An, uh, did you have a job before becoming a writer?" "Why do you want to know that?" "Uh, just background." "Oh, um..." "Yes, I was a teacher for ten years, and it was very fulfilling." "I-I would not trade that time for anything." "Why'd you leave?" "I couldn't breathe." "I mean, not-not like, uh, literal, you know..." ""I can't breathe!"" "Just like, uh, like a metaphorical suffocating, like, "You're squeezing the life out of me!"" "Kind of like, uh..." "I don't know, I would say like a python killing a... what is it, like..." "a jack rabbit." "So you walked out." "I... jumped out of a window." "Metaphori..." "Literally." "Literally jumped, okay." "Yeah." "That's interesting." "Oh, you're really writing that down." "Huh." "Well, you know, it's... really it was kind of boring." "You know, it was..." "it was not a big deal." "It was kind of a little, tiny little bit of a big deal at the time..." "Still writing, huh?" "Yeah?" "But, uh..." "I've kind of done so many things that have eclipsed that, so..." "Could you be a little more specific?" "Let's see, if I had to..." "You have to come up with something." "Um..." "I-I guess maybe I've been drinking, you know, a little... a little bit more than usual." "I mean, not like getting drunk, but just to kind of..." "You know, just..." "I guess get drunk." "So..." "But I don't want to go into all the circumstances, 'cause it's a big, long-winded story, but at the end you would say, "Oh, that seems reasonable,"" "but I may have punched someone in a bar and gotten her tooth in my hand, here." "Again, I think if you heard the whole thing, you would... you would say..." "God, I'm tal..." "I feel like I'm talking a lot." "I mean, it's just..." "Even when I'm thinking "stop talking,"" "this is still going and I'm still talking." "You're doing great." "Really?" "Okay." "Mm-hmm." "Maybe you should tell my husband that." "'Cause he was... he was the one that was so into me doing this therapy thing, and really, he's the one that..." "that needs to be here." "His mother..." "I mean, she's controlling, overbearing, manipulative..." "I mean, she is a..." "ooh, that's a piece of work." "So you don't get along with her?" "No, I do not." "I mean, we've almost gotten into a physical fight before." "And then, I mean, that's not even going into the whole thing where I had fantasies about murdering her." "And I know..." "I just want to..." "I want you to know that I know that that sounds... that sounds... odd." "But if you... again, bird's-eye view of that whole thing, you'd say, "That's reasonable." Uh-huh." "# La, la-ba-dee-da #" "# La, la-ba-dee-da #" "# For the first time in my life #" "# I see love #" "# I see love #" "# For the first time in my life #" "# I see love #" "Hey, there she is." "Hey." "What are you doing with your mom's car?" "Ah, she wanted me to get her oil changed." "But if she asks you about the extra miles on the odometer," "I did not pick you up." "So, how'd it go?" "Good, good." "I'm cured." "Really?" "That is such a relief." "I'm kidding." "So am I." "There's nothing to be cured of." "I mean, therapy's an ongoing process." "It's not like a one-and-done kind of thing." "Well, is it a three-and-done kind of thing?" "'Cause that's all that's covered by the insurance." "You know, I-I gotta admit, when I was first going in, I was a little skeptical, but after talking to Dr. Rosen, it did feel a bit of a burden was lifted." "That's great." "It is." "You should really consider going." "Why?" "I'm not the one who's..." "Who's what?" "Who's what, huh?" "...going through something." "Really?" "So all..." "you just have healthy relationships across the board, huh?" "Yeah!" "If they're not healthy, I yank 'em out of my life like a wild nose hair." "I was talking about your mom, Mike." "Now that's not fair." "Nobody has a healthy relationship with her." "She prides herself on that." "But you don't have to give in to her manipulation." "I mean, she knows you're in OA, but she's constantly trying to buy you off with food." "Case in point, an oil change for the pan of brownies in the backseat." "Did you smell 'em, or did the blanket covering them shift?" "Neither." "I saw the ice scraper has brownie on it." "Did you hear about the camel?" "Is this a joke?" "I wish it was." "Apparently, the two-hump camel is soon to be extinct." "We're gonna be livin' in a one-hump camel world." "Huh?" "Explain that to your grandchildren." "That happened on our watch." "I didn't do anything." "Exactly." "Hey, speakin' of things that are ornery and spit... how awful do you think my mother is?" "I mean, on a scale of one to ten." "Is ten good or bad?" "Bad." "Huh." "It only goes up to ten?" "All right." "Look, look, y-your mom might not be the most nurturing, but she's nothing compared to a mama polar bear." "You know, something wrong with her offspring, she gonna eat that baby up." "Not gonna see that in a Coke commercial." "Well, Molly thinks" "I might benefit from talking to somebody about my relationship with my mom." "What, like a therapist?" "You don't need that." "That's what I thought." "'Cause you got me." "Wouldn't it be awkward to say my problem to my problem?" "Besides, I'm just not the therapy type." "I'm more of a "let it fester until it kills me from the inside" kind of guy." "You know what your trouble is?" "You don't have any troubles." "What are you talkin' about?" "In Africa, we don't get in touch with our feelings." "We're too busy trying to get in touch with food and water." "I'm just saying, when you wake up and see your neighbor's head on a stick, it puts everything in perspective." "You know, you-you actually might want to talk to somebody about that." "Probably." "Uh, did you get a chance to fill out the family questionnaire I gave you last time?" "Oh, yes, I did." "I have it right here." "I might have gotten a little carried away." "I, uh..." "I took a psychology class in college and, yeah, so I took the liberty of kind of making some of my own conclusions." "But I-I, I did ace that class." "Oh." "But you'll see that." "Oh, yeah, there are my transcripts." "You'll see for yourself." "And then..." "Oh!" "Me in fourth grade." "Okay, I see quite a few sections on your mother here." "Oh, yeah." "I know it's cliché, but so is she." "You know, drinks too much, more of a..." "a friend than a mother, more of a nudist than a nurturer." "Mm-hmm." "I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my mother." "I mean, yeah." "She-she-she just probably, you know, shouldn't have..." "been one." "Huh." "What "huh"?" "Well, I'm not seeing much on your father here." "Oh, well, 'cause he-he died when I was ten." "So there's not much to say about it." "Great guy, wonderful father... end of story." "Pretty short story." "Well, I don't really remember a lot about him." "I mean, not like in a "blocking it out" kind of way." "Not like that." "No." "No." "What?" "I mean, he was a-a fantastic father." "You know?" "Took me to ball games and the park, he doted on me." "Sorry to disappoint you, but no Daddy issues here, you know?" "Move along, nothing to see." "Stare all you want." "It's not gonna... not gonna change anything, you know?" "Great guy, died early, leave it alone." "You know what?" "I don't have to sit and listen to this." "You know, you want to drag my mother's name through the mud, I'll sit here all day." "But I will not let you sully my lovely father's memory." "Good day." "We still have 50 minutes." "Oh." "I..." "I said good day!" "Where the hell do you get the set of balls to tell your wife she needs therapy?" "I can't even tell Joyce she needs a breath mint." "Well, her insurance is gonna pay for it." "And in light of recent events," "I didn't think it could hurt." "I should say not." "As a matter of fact, therapy saved my life." "You're kiddin'." "Y-You've been to a shrink?" "Oh, yeah." "When my wife Bunny died, I was a wreck." "For six months I laid on that couch, poured my heart out." "Wow." "In a million years" "I'd never take you for a guy who'd go to therapy." "There's a sensitive heart beating under this savage breast." "And my therapist was good." "Helped me through my grief." "Also figured out why I'm so anally fixated." "All right, nice talk." "Turns out, I used to have trouble making BMs as a child." "I went to camp one summer and didn't go for three weeks." "Yeah?" "What was the name of it," "Camp Can't-do-caca?" "Oh." "You think you're the first one to make that joke?" "I heard 'em all." "Does a Vince crap in the woods?" "No, he does not." "Okay, okay, I got it." "And from that summer on," "I couldn't flush until my mom inspected it and put a little star in my doo-doo journal." "We're cooking food here." "To this day, every election when I get that little "I Voted" sticker," "I got to make a beeline straight to the can." "So, sweetie, how was therapy?" "Did you get to blame enough stuff on your poor mother?" "Oh, I had pages on you." "That idiot wouldn't even hear any of it." "Did you tell the therapist about the time" "Mom left us in the car to go to Oktoberfest?" "No, that's good." "I..." "See, I blocked that." "So, when do you go back?" "I don't." "I quit." "I walked straight out of there." "You know, some people just need to deal with things on their own time." "It's not like everybody needs therapy." "What?" "Well, not everybody needs therapy, but... some people might." "What is that supposed to mean?" "Nothing." "I'm just agreeing with... half of what you said." "Well, it doesn't matter what you think." "What's going on?" "Molly wants to quit therapy." "And we're to scared to tell her not to." "I'm not." "You're cracking up." "We been talking, and we all agree it's best for you to see someone before they have to shock the cuckoo out of you." "So you... so you all agree?" "So you've been talking about it behind my back?" "Well, we can't do it to your face." "We love you." "You know what, I don't need any of this." "Mol, where you going?" "Away from them." "You know, crazy people shouldn't point... crazy fingers!" "Mol!" "Mike, let her go." "In a way, this is a blessing." "How so?" "I miscounted the meatballs." "Now there's enough for all of us." "This swing taken?" "Well, I don't know." "Joshua's kind of carved his name into it, but I don't think he's coming back tonight." "You okay?" "I don't know." "Uh, therapy today wasn't exactly what I expected." "Well, what was it like?" "It was like Dr. Rosen had an agenda, which was getting in the way of my agenda." "Well, you know me." "I'm all for quitting something you don't like." "I mean, you gave it more of a shot than I did Brussels sprouts." "You were such a baby about those Brussels sprouts." "If bacon can't save it, nothing can." "I never even knew this park was here." "Oh, yeah, I used to come here all the time with my dad." "Is that right?" "Yeah." "He kind of had a way of knowing when I was having a bad day, and he'd open up the door and say, "Come on, peanut." "Let's go find some fun."" "That's nice." "Yeah." "He used to stand at the bottom of that slide, arms wide open, beer in one hand, cigar in the other." "He'd just kind of stop me with his foot." "The more I hear about him, the more I like him." "Yeah." "Ah, geez, it's my mother." "I'm just glad she calls and doesn't send her flying monkeys." "Take note, I'm pressing ignore." "Well, look at you." "Yeah, and I happen to know she's making cobbler tonight." "Well, how about to celebrate you setting some boundaries we take a spin on the merry-go-round?" "I don't know... but I get first turn!" "First one there is a square!" "I taught fourth grade." "I can go all day." "You know, that was fun." "If we go back in the daytime, we won't have to share a merry-go-round with a crackhead." "I didn't see him." "I mean, until he fell off, I did not see him." "Dr. Rosen?" "Ms. Flynn, I'm sorry." "Do we have an appointment?" "We don't, but..." "I was kind of hoping..." "I mean, I know I had some time left over from the other day when I stormed out, and I was hoping maybe we could pick up where we left off?" "Um, y-yes." "Have a seat." "Yeah?" "Thank you." "Yeah." "Ooh, look at that." "I just chose a chair right away." "I think we're making progress." "Well, you would know." "You are the one who aced that intro to psychology course." "Okay, what's on your mind?" "Well, um, I-I think" "I'm ready to kind of fill in some of those blanks." "About your father?" "Yes." "So, what do you want to know?" "Why don't you just talk?" "Okay, um..." "I mean, I know there's something... you know, there with..." "between me and my dad." "I just..." "I don't know what it is, and every time I..." "I think about him, I have to stop, 'cause I just feel too much." "What do you feel?" "Boy, you are nosy, huh?" "Thank you." "I feel the usual." "I feel sad, I..." "I miss him, I feel guilty." "I..." "Guilty?" "I guess." "Why guilty?" "I hate that I'm so mad at him." "Why are you mad at him?" "'Cause he left me, you know?" "I mean, he was supposed to be there for me, and then he died, and... he wasn't." "And, you know, at ten years old, I had to step up and be the responsible one in the house." "Why did you feel you had to take on that role?" "Oh, I keep forgetting you haven't met my mom and my sister." "Uh..." "Trust me, I had to... grow up really fast, and, you know, do the right thing and get good grades and find a steady job and..." "Sounds like you were busy." "By the time I looked up from the laundry pile, I was 30." "So all this acting out seems like you were... making up for lost time?" "Finally experiencing the childhood that you'd put on hold?" "That's good." "I mean, that's... that makes me sound like less of a nut job." "Well, I can assure you, Ms. Flynn, you are not a nut job." "I'd love it if you could write that down, so I could show my family." "No, really, could you?" "Oh, you really want me to do that?" "Yeah." "You know all my craziness lately is because of you, right?" "What did I do?" "Well, first of all, your big mistake was making me feel so safe." "Therapist said I haven't had stability like that since my dad." "'Cause of that, I was..." "I can try new things and been able to kind of take risks" "I haven't done since I was younger." "So, if I was no-good, hard-drinking loser, you'd still be a teacher?" "Of course." "What other choice would I have?" "I don't know how I feel about all this." "You should feel great." "Here, open that while I fire up this stogie." "Your dad sure did like cheap beer." "Wait till you taste the cheap cigar." "So, the therapist recommended this?" "Sort of." "He said he wanted me to find a way to forgive my dad and say good-bye to him in a real way." "Cheap beer and cheaper cigars?" "He liked what he liked." "Okay, raise them up." "To you, Dad." "I miss you." "I miss your laugh." "I miss the way your... aftershave smells." "I miss holding your hand." "Most of all," "I miss that you weren't able to walk me down the aisle when I married the love of my life." "It's nice to meet you, sir." "Don't worry." "I'm gonna take real good care of her." "I'm glad you're here with me." "Me, too." "Switch." "Oh... oh, yes, yes, yes." "You know, now that we've gotten me all straightened out, we may need to take a peek under your hood." "Come on." "Let me just finish your dad's crappy cigar in peace." "All right, but you can't live in denial forever." "Watch me." "So, uh, why'd you want to see me?" "Oh, I think it's helpful to have the spouse involved in the healing process." "Great." "Anything I can do to help." "All right, well, why don't you tell me something about yourself?" "Okay, well, uh, I'm a police officer." "I am happily married." "Oh, geez." "Is it your mom again?" "Yeah, but I'm not gonna take it." "Does your mother call often?" "All the time." "She won't leave me alone." "I mean, I know I'm her only son, and I'm all she's got left in this world, so that responsibility falls on me, and it's a lot." "I mean, I'm just one man." "I don't know how much more I can take." "I mean, nothing's ever good enough." "She just takes and takes and takes!" "There's no end to it!" "It's never gonna stop!" "Can I have some tissues, please?" "See, I told you." "I told you."