"Come on, Marcello, I'm in a hurry." " That's me, done." " About time." " Good evening." " Good evening, Professor." " Always at the last moment!" "I wanted to get some mozzarella, but it doesn't matter, I'll get..." " I can open up again, if you like." " No, it's all right, I'm used to it." "If you found yourself a wife, Professor, you wouldn't have to make your own supper." ""Better to make supper for one than wash the dishes for two"!" "But at night who warms up your little bed?" "Don't worry, the women are lining up." "Bye, Marcello." "Hang on, Professor, I'll come with you." "Women, eh!" "They want to get us on a lead!" " That guy was lucky." " Who?" " Mrs Boni's husband." " But he died on his wedding day!" "Exactly, so at least he made up for the mistake of getting married!" "Professor, you really don't want to know about marriage?" "No, free, alone, no worries." "Believe me, Marcello, man isn't king of the universe, but the bachelor!" " Yeah, but..." " No buts." "Bachelor means independence, freedom, seduction, charm!" "That's easier said than done, Professor!" "But what are these weaknesses?" " So it's true what I heard?" " What...?" "That your landlady and her daughter have caged you!" " Caged me?" " Yes, and not even with golden bars!" "Madam Rosa is going about saying..." "She's mad if she says anything..." "I don't know..." " There's no truth in it." " Hey, Marcello, be careful!" "Change your lodgings while you can!" "Why should I change, Professor?" "I've been there for six years." "I'm fine, they treat me like a son, it's clean, and the food's great!" "They got to you through your stomach!" "Well, Professor, if I married Gina..." "Ah, if you married Gina!" "At this point, you're..." "Give yourself a shake, try to react right away... or you're done for." "Change your address, my boy, or you'll find yourself with a wife too many!" "I don't know, to listen to you, you'd think you'd been married loads!" "You don't need to end up in the tiger's clutches to know to look out for it!" "Wives!" "Look..." "I only know one place where they're all saints, paragons of virtue, angels of the home." "Where?" "The cemetery!" " But when they're alive, my dear..." " You idiot!" "Listen, listen to that!" "You're driving me mad!" "Damn the day we got married!" " I wish I'd never met you!" " The Terenzis." "Second year of marriage." "Giovanni the glazier is rich from them." "I can't believe they're all like that." "Gina is different." " She has a nice, sweet face." " Good evening." "Good evening." "Her too, look." "When she got married, she'd a sweet, nice face." "Look at the scowl that's appeared after a few years of marriage!" "Well, Professor...at a certain point one feels the need for a companion to help support the weight of life." "That's what Caretti the accountant said too." "There he is." "He found his companion, but he's still carrying the weight on his own." "But there are lovely things in marriage too... ..children, babies..." " Children?" "There they are!" "Look!" " Be good!" " I want an ice cream!" " Good evening, Professor." " Hello." " Is you wife still hitting you?" " Not every day." "Well, that's something." "Well, Professor, if everyone thought the way you do, what would these poor girls do?" "You have to give your heart to women, not your surname!" "Yeah, but it's not easy, though." "It's really easy, believe me!" "It's just a case of feeling like a man!" "But I know I'm a man!" "You should try being in love." "I tried to resist, but Gina is like a magnet for me." "She's like a magnet now, marry her and she'll turn into a misery!" "Well, bye." "Professor, do you want to play cards this evening?" "No, I retire at 8.30 sharp!" "I have things to do!" " Goodbye, Marcello." " Goodbye." "Don't be caught, the world is teeming with Ginas!" " What?" " Teeming, teeming!" "Teeming, teeming..." "Believe me, the more he sees, the better." "If it was up to men, they'd want to see everything, everything!" "Yes, Mom." "As for the volumes, then, nobody likes studying, but there are some volumes I'm sure men would study night and day!" " Mom!" " What did I say?" " There he is!" " Will he notice my new dress?" "Of course!" "Don't worry!" "Good evening." "Good evening." "Good evening!" "Come on, sit down." "These need to be eaten hot." "They were made especially for you!" "Ah..." "This evening I'm not very hungry." "I think I'd rather not eat." "What's wrong?" "Are you ill?" " I don't know." " Have you got a temperature?" "No, thank you, there's nothing wrong." " I'm fine." " He's just a bit weak." "But it's when you feel down, you need to eat to get your strength back." " What is this stuff?" " Ravioli." "In this heat..." "What's this?" "Roast chicken and nice mixed greens." "Chicken!" "Roast chicken in this heat?" "Now try this and see how good it is." "And...what's this?" "Sole "alla mugnaia"." "Fish... after the chicken?" "And now what would you like?" "Let's see if I can guess." "A nice ice cream, with this heat!" "An ice cream?" "But I'm not hungry today." "But since you enjoyed supper so much, I'll let you in on a secret." "It was Gina who made everything, she has hands of gold, that girl!" "Did you like this wine?" "There's another bottle here." "It's Lambrusco from Sorbara." "It was the one my husband liked." "You know what he said?" ""Neither soft nor sharp, Lambrusco's my carafe!"" "Good, eh?" "Here's the ice-cream Gina made." "She's very good." "Watch." "Be careful." "She's a treasure, she even knows how to embroider." "Oh!" "And to finish the night off, you know what we'll do?" " It was good." " Yes." "Now we'll have a nice game of cards, "tressette" with a dummy!" "Er... no!" "I'm not playing "tressette" with a dummy, it scares me." "Good night." "He's a monster!" "He didn't even look at me!" "And I was worried the dress was too much!" "Don't be discouraged, he's mad for you." "That's why he's doing this, he's defending himself, but keep going." "They wanted to put me in a cage!" "They'll never put me in a cage!" "I'm a rock!" "They've no chance!" "They want to get to me through my stomach!" "Ravioli, huh!" "I'd eat six plates of ravioli right now!" "Well, maybe not right now, but tomorrow I would!" "And the day after as well!" "A whole life of ravioli, but getting to me through my stomach, never!" "You're a monster!" "That's what you are!" "A selfish egoist!" "That poor girl put on a new dress for you, for you alone!" "She was waiting for a sign, a word, and you didn't even look at her!" "What would a tiny little compliment have cost you?" "You'd have made her happy." "Hey, are you mad?" "Who cares?" "Why make her happy when she wants to entrap you?" "No way!" "Hard and cruel like a rock!" " Oh, it's you..." " Excuse me..." "Oh, God bless you, children!" "This is the happiest day of my life!" " Madam, I can explain..." " There's nothing to explain!" "From now on you can call me Mom!" " Your daughter and I..." " I knew you were madly in love!" " Madam, you're wrong!" " Marry her!" "Me?" "Never!" "Long live the happy couple!" "Light of your mother's life!" "The irony of traditions!" "I throw rice so as not to shed tears!" "That's it done!" "Now you can play "tressette" with a dummy!" "Did you get that amusing double meaning?" ""Tressette" with a dummy!" "And I'm free!" "Free at last!" "At the end of the trial of Marcello Polidori, accused of killing one Giulio Parodi on the evening of last April 21st and of having hidden his body, the District Attorney, having examined the irrefutable evidence against the accused" "rendered by witnesses..." "This is going to take a while." "I've a lot to do, my train leaves at 9." " I'm leaving at 9 too." " You going to see your wife?" "What wife?" "I met this Swedish girl!" "With all due respect, your honor." "That never happens to me." "How did you meet her?" "Just by chance." "She's passing through." "What's she like?" "What's she like?" "Swedish!" "Bloody hell, she's Swedish!" "With all due respect." "They seem icy, but inside they're on fire!" "You have to live these things to fully understand them." "Lucky you with your Finn!" " Swede." " Swede." "Over to the defense." "Gentlemen of the court, firstly, before anything else," "I want to underline the peculiarity of this trial and draw your..." "When this one starts, he never stops." "In far-off 17 15, the judiciary..." "Instead, tonight, I'm on the train with my wife." " Where are you going?" " Family holiday, dear judge." "I know the timetable already." "The usual drink for my uric acid... the usual big meal that brings it back... the usual cigar to help with the digestion... the usual argument with my wife that ruins it... ..Has to be connected..." "No, attorney, that's enough!" "We're not connecting anything." "Enough?" " Yes!" " Wrap it up." "Well, I appeal to the court." "Well done!" "Your honor...who's defending me, then?" "My dear friend, be good!" "Hey!" "Your honor!" "Attorney!" "We'll retire to prepare the sentence." " You prepare for the Norwegian." " Swede, Swede." "Swede." "Think of the vegetable." " What was that gesture?" " Sweden!" "Sweden's come in!" "The blonde on the right or the left?" " The left." " She's the Dane?" "Swede." " Swede." " Yes." "Bloody hell!" "She hasn't managed to get rid of her friend!" "Your honor, with all due respect, it's a shame you have to leave, because otherwise I'd have asked you to sacrifice yourself for me... assuming that keeping Ingrid company can be considered a sacrifice!" "I see you wouldn't have minded." " But you're kidding?" " Have I offended you?" "She's my type!" "But you have to leave." "Unfortunately...at 9." "And it's a train that leaves on time." " Why don't you leave tomorrow?" " Hey, you don't know my wife." "She wouldn't put off our departure for any reason!" " Let her leave on her own." " I wish!" "I wish!" "It's not easy." " Your honor..." " Yes?" " If I may, the trial..." " What, the trial...?" "No, if we manage to drag the trial out a bit, keep it going till 9. 15..." " Till...?" " Of course!" "And I tell my wife to wait for me on the train, and then when the time comes..." "she leaves on her own." "And you join her tomorrow." "But dragging the trial out till this evening won't be easy." "Recall the defense lawyer." "If we let him, he'll speak till New Year's." "Good idea." "Good idea!" "Yes...yes..." " Zatopec!" " Zatopec!" "Call the defense lawyer immediately and tell him the trial is continuing." "Let's hear what the accused has to say in his defense!" "What?" "I thought we'd reached the sentence." "There's time, there's time." "And I'm amazed at you, Mr District Attorney!" "A judge's first duty is to uncover the truth." " Let's hear the accused." " But the defense lawyer has gone." "Don't worry about that!" "The assistant judge has pointed out a serious procedural mistake to me." "We can't have errors committed here." "If we have to continue until, I don't know, 9, 9. 1 5, at the latest, whatever, everything has to be cleared up." " We have to talk here." "The accused." " I'm innocent!" "No, no, we're doing all this..." " For you." " Obviously." "I mean, my dear boy, you're monotonous." "You realize you've done nothing but repeat the same thing for two hours?" "You think two words will get you off, "I'm innocent", "I'm innocent"?" "We're not short of time." "You can speak." "Talk, relax... don't worry about being verbose." "You can even start from your childhood." " Is that not a bit much?" " No." "The very day of my wedding, my eyes were opened and I understood right away what kind of woman my wife was." "After the ceremony, the shouts and applause had given me the impression in that moment of being someone important." "I was no longer a youngster, I was a husband." "And in fact for this reason I was promptly pushed to one side." "No member of my new family, none of the people I knew seemed to pay me the slightest attention." "I seemed like an intruder there." "The only attention I got was an elbow from my mother-in-law." "You, Marcello!" "You've ended up under the yoke." "Only a few of us are left to defend the flag of freedom!" "But why, why are you so weak?" "Why don't you understand you lend your heart out but not give it away?" "Certainly, I'd never have imagined that my wife had so many friends." "There!" "There she is there, your Gina!" "I really started to worry I'd have to spend my time off for the wedding waiting for everyone to kiss the bride!" "Come on, come on, a bit of discretion!" "Calm down, don't crowd in like that or you'll suffocate her!" "There's plenty for everyone!" "Don't push!" "Line up like little soldiers!" "No!" "Not them!" "Don't worry!" "Here's Gianni!" "Now it's your turn." "Now it's Gianni's turn." "Go on, go on!" "And just as well there was only one regiment in the town!" "And so we left on our so-called honeymoon." "A bitter moon it was, your honor, a bitter moon!" "I wasn't expecting this." "Your honor, you're listening to his rubbish?" "What was he surprised at?" "Everyone kissing the bride?" "What do I care about the bride?" "I didn't think Ingrid was so endowed!" "..With others, your honor, not with me, me, her legitimate spouse." "We expect Nordic types to be long-limbed, but instead..." "Long-limbed, yes, but rounded." "The accused should get to the point, we don't want his memoirs!" "Do you hear that?" "Why doesn't he mind his own business?" "What is this mania for rushing things, this hurry to get to the point?" "I sense there's something unhealthy behind this that I don't like." "If we have to spin it out till 9!" "Have the accused talk about his honeymoon." "Yes, let's hear from the accused about his honeymoon." "What do we care about the accused's honeymoon?" " He really wants to wreck the trial." " The accused may continue." "You understand, your honor, I did my military service at Belluno, but Gina said she knew nothing of the world." "She and her mother are liars!" "Naturally, she knew the world much better than me." "I'm not a millionaire, I never have been and I might never be, but all my savings, all my sacrifices were meant to go to realizing and crowning this wonderful dream." "It's a quiet place, nobody we know goes there." "The orchestra is excellent." " Is it dear?" " Yes." " Well, then..." " But it's worth it." " Yes?" " Your honor." "And I never offered my friends cigarettes." ""Think of your honeymoon," I said to myself." ""By having a cigarette today, you could deprive your spouse tomorrow" ""of a top hotel, a nightclub, a bottle of champagne..."" "What bottle of champagne?" "This is a pack of lies, your honor!" "It was anything but champagne!" "He took advantage of the honeymoon to go to a convention of Alpine troops." "Just think, your honor, me, a few hours married, at a convention of Alpine troops!" "Hey, there, comrades!" "Come on!" "How are you doing?" " Cheers!" " Here's to all of you!" "Bloody hell, what a racket!" "Come here, these are all friends!" "They're drunk, drink like fish but they're hard as nails!" "Oh, look who's there!" "Hey, Marcello!" " Hey, there!" " Marcello's here!" "Let's go!" "Let's go!" "We're all here!" " We're all here!" " We're still drinking wine!" "Rascals!" " Where have you been all this time?" " In my village." "He's mad!" "Are you still a builder?" "No, I work in a deli!" "Good heavens!" "He's a fly one!" " Did you bring some salami?" " No, I brought a lovely wife!" "Good heavens!" "That tops the lot!" " And is she cute?" " Of course!" "Have a look!" "Come here!" "Come here!" "She's good-looking!" "Do you like her?" "Give her something to drink!" "May she drink like an Alpine soldier!" "One moment." "Listen to me, everyone." "We need a toast to the bride!" "Let's stand up." "Let's sing..." "We're Alpine and we like wine!" "It doesn't matter!" "Cheers!" " Toni, give her a sardine." " You don't have to drink it." "See if she eats it." "No, she doesn't want to eat it." "Drink, then!" "Drink!" "Wine is good for you!" " An Alpine bride!" " It's too strong." "She says it's strong!" "mineral WATER" "An Alpine bride who can't drink!" "A disgrace!" " Can you give me some?" " She drinks water!" " Unfaithful wife." " On you go, drink up." "It's strong this water!" " What is that?" " Grappa!" "Grappa!" "Rosina!" "Now let's play the slap game." "Come here!" "Stand like that and no looking." "On three." "One, two... and three!" "Have you gone mad?" "Oh, I don't feel well What a laugh!" "Hey, hey!" "Let's all go outside now and kick up a row." " Let's go!" " Come on!" "Marcello!" "Let's go outside." "That's not true!" "I've never been to a meeting of Alpine troops!" "You made me spend my wedding night with them!" "One, two, three." "One, two, three." "This is a waltz rhythm." " One, two, three." "One, two, three." " Understand?" "Yes." "Then, for the hesitation, you remember those lessons on TV?" "Yes." "Slow, slow, quick." "Slow, slow, quick." "Slow, slow, quick." "This woman is lying and she knows it!" "You're a liar, you liar!" "Monster!" "I wouldn't want, being the size I am, in the hesitation..." "I wouldn't want to, how can I put it, lose the elegance of the movement, that slow, slow, quick, slow, slow, quick." "Don't worry, the lights in the nightclub are very low." "What matters is that you take the lady, hold her close, letting her feel your presence, and then you sway rhythmically." "Well, your honor, what do you say?" "Well..." "Judge?" "Doesn't it seem strange all this movement of people all of a sudden?" "What are we doing?" "Night is falling." "What do you mean, night?" "It's only 3:15!" "No, can we not let the accused give his side of the story?" "Your honor!" "Your honor!" "Your wife called to see if you'd be long." "She's closing the trunk..." "Will we be long?" "We'll be long." "Time passes really slowly here." "Nothing, tell her things are dragging on here." "It's not an easy trial." "Your honor, I have lots of other things to say, interesting things." "Speak, feel free to speak, calmly and without haste." "We're here to listen." "When I got back from honeymoon, and set foot for the first time in that house as a married man," "I almost felt happy." "I thought my mother-in-law, with her kindness and experience of marriage, would have done all she could to resolve the problems that had arisen during that bitter holiday." " Oh, Mommy!" " Oh, my daughter, at last!" "I missed you so much all this time!" "Oh, my darling baby, your mom was thinking about you so much." "Mom, why weren't you with me?" "If I'd known..." "I was with you all the time in spirit, dear!" " I'm here!" " Don't you cry!" "I'm here now!" "I'll tell you all about it." "Tell me everything but not now in front of outsiders!" "Calm down, treasure, calm down." "I don't think I am an outsider!" "I'm the husband, you know!" "You're trying to be cheeky too!" "Oh, but don't worry, my little honey!" "Now your mommy will defend you, life of my life!" "Who knows what you've done to my poor little kitten?" "What are you made of?" "Is there nothing bothering you?" "Yeah, I'm a bit hungry." "All he ever thinks about is eating!" "Don't pay any attention to him!" "Are you hungry, dear?" " Not at all." " Well, no supper tonight." "You sleep much better on an empty stomach." " But I..." " Shut up!" "Come, treasure, come to your mommy!" "I'll make you a coffee, light of my life." "Good night, Mommy." "You sleep better on an empty stomach." "Excuse me." "Excuse me, Mom, I got it wrong." "Good night." " Who are you?" " Get out of here!" "How dare you?" "You rascal!" "There's a man asleep in my room, snoring!" " Yes, I know." " Who is he?" "Mr Parodi." " What's he doing?" " Sleeping." "Why's he in my bed?" "Mr Parodi is the new lodger." "So where are Gina and I supposed to sleep tonight?" "Here." "Ah... and you, Mommy, where will you go to sleep tonight?" "Here, obviously." "What a funny Mommy!" ""I'll sleep here"!" " I'm not joking!" " What?" "You're not...?" "What do you mean?" "That tonight you'll sleep in this bed with Gina and I, all together?" " Yes!" " Gina!" "What is it?" "What do you want?" "What are you shouting for?" "You know what Mom expects?" "To sleep in the bed..." "Mom in bed with us!" "Yes, Mommy sleeps with us, so what?" "But Mommy in bed with us, Mommy..." "Mommy...in the bed!" "Can't you think of the sacrifice I'm making sleeping here with you?" "The brute wants to kill me!" "Murderer!" "He'd be capable of putting me in a home!" "But you won't let him, will you, my daughter?" "Oh, Mommy!" "Oh, Mommy dearest, how could you even think such a thing?" " Don't cry, please, Mommy!" " Don't force me out!" "I'm not sleeping here!" "I'll never sleep here ever, ever, ever!" "And in effect, your honor, I didn't sleep a wink all night." "The next morning, I got up early." "A new life was beginning for me, full of duties and new responsibilities." "instructions" "DO NOT disturb BEFORE 8 O'CLOCK" "What do you want?" "Come in!" "Here I am, breakfast is ready." "Next time, buy me T-shirts two sizes bigger." " What are you doing?" "Come here." " Yes, sir." "Move!" "What is this stuff?" "A fried egg..." "I can't stand fried eggs!" "All right, from tomorrow I won't fry." "We'll make a sabayon, all right?" " Hang on, young man!" " Yes, sir?" "About last night... don't ever try to get into my bed again, all right?" "If you do, I'll strangle you and tear you apart!" "There are some weaknesses I can't accept!" "I destroy people like you!" "Understand?" " Yes, sir." " Get lost now." "Goodbye." "Marcello, the coffee!" "Good morning!" "How's the new husband?" " I can't complain." " You're the exception, then." "No, I mean I can't complain or else they hit me." " On the head?" " No, not on the head..." "They're careful with the head or else they'd hurt themselves." "Don't be bad, Professor!" "Just you wait a while and you'll see what happens!" "No, Professor, my Gina... she's a bit free with her hands but not those things." "I don't want to alarm you any sooner than necessary." " Good morning, Professor." " Good morning." "See, Marcello, I'm a bachelor and so I'm prey for women... but the poor things don't know they're puppets in my hands." "I'm the love of an hour, a day, a week at the most, not any longer." "Oh, I'm sorry, Professor, I have to go." "I'm late." "On you go, young slave!" "Go!" " Good morning, Professor." " Good morning." "Does this seem like the time to come to work?" "It's great, eh?" "You like being nice and warm next to your wife?" "They're spoiling you in that house, you good-for-nothing!" "Come on, I've been waiting half an hour!" "One moment." "What do you want?" "100 grams of rancid mortadella for my husband." "The professor was right." "I'd become a slave." "Liar!" " Megaera!" " Monster!" " Harpy!" " Murderer!" " Viper!" "I'll tell it all and they'll hang you in the end!" "Delinquent!" "I'm starting to suspect something." "Yes?" "That the accused is guilty?" "What do I care about the accused?" "Look down there at what's happening among the public." " Where?" " There, that guy." " Who?" " That beanpole there!" "Don't you think he's taking advantage?" "Oh, no..." "Yes, that's what it looks like." "He's a bit pushy." " These Italians are terrible!" " No..." " You know what I'll do?" " What will you do?" " I'll clear the court." " No, no, no, no!" "They'd be forced out into the corridor as well." "Are we going to hear this witness or not?" "Ah!" "Do you want to hear this witness, your honor?" " Of course!" "That's why we're here!" " That's why we're here!" "Let the witness come forward!" "Let the witness come forward!" "Let's hear what she has to tell us." "I want to confirm first of all what my daughter said." "It's false, wholly false this scoundrel's story!" "He spoke of poor Mr Parodi as though he were a gorilla, as though he were a terrible being." "And instead Mr Parodi was an affable man, tiny, maybe even too small, but he had a big heart, a noble, generous soul!" "He was a delicate and sensitive creature who brought to our house, that had been made vulgar by my son-in-law, a breath of poetry." "To sum up, Mr Parodi was a handsome young man." "Oh, how lovely!" " Wait till you hear it sing!" " What lovely flowers!" " They smell wonderful." " I brought them for you." "For me?" "Thank you, but there was no need." " It's a pleasure, a duty, almost." " A duty?" "Why?" " Beauty demands homage!" " Thank you." "What a noble soul you have." "Your ancestors must have been knights of the crusade!" "Oh, no, my only military ancestor was an infantry sergeant." " Really?" " And only in the reserves." "Here, Madam, my contribution to the victuals." "Oh, "the victuals"!" "It's so obvious you're an educated person, and, what's more, punctual like clockwork!" "But you neglect yourself." "Why did you not have your coffee this morning?" "What can I do?" "I only take it on Sundays." "I wouldn't want to take advantage." "No, dear sir, you are too good!" "Can't you see how the world is today?" "My son-in-law has no talent, but today he'd like to join the village band." "Please, Mr Parodi, can you teach him something even if it's not worth it?" "Gladly, but every time I try he sticks my head in the trombone and gives it a blast!" "Don't pay any attention!" "He's such a joker!" "I know, I know he's a bit of a scamp, but last time he gave me two bumps that took six million..." "Oh, Mr Parodi, don't exaggerate now!" ".. Units of penicillin." "Let's see if you recognize this theme." "Yes, but only for two minutes because my employers are coming back." "All right, you ready?" " What is it?" " Nel Blu Depinto Di Blu!" "No!" "Reginella Campagnola." "Go!" " Right, are you ready now?" " Yes." "Ready..." "Er..." " Go!" " Wait!" "Come on!" "Bloody hell, come on!" "How many times do I need to tell you to get up only if you know it?" " You're a stubborn one!" " But I do know it!" "Well, say it, then!" "Nel Blu Depinto Di Blu!" "No!" "Signorinella Pallida." "You're all the same!" "Tomorrow, bring me a bottle of Sidol to polish the trombone." "Lunch is ready." "We can eat whenever you like." "Here we eat when I say so!" "Serve me out here first, then you lot eat!" " Yes, dear, don't upset yourself." " And hurry up!" ""So just as Carlotta" ""hurt the young Werther," ""your countenance, o woman, my heart..."" "Stop it with all these poems!" "I've had enough!" "What a pain!" "Poems all the time, every day!" "I don't like poems!" "Mmm!" "You like your stew, eh?" "Very much." "I haven't tried it, but I imagine it's good." "There, you imagine and I'll eat it!" "And you two without a conscience!" "Are you wanting to hurt this poor little man, giving him all this stuff when he's so small?" "But I'd already brought you your lunch..." "But now I want to eat a lot more!" "Oh, Mr Parodi, that poem of yours was beautiful." "You were saying you'd written another." "Why not read it to us?" "Really, I'm grateful, but I don't know... if I can." " Oh, please!" " On you go!" "You nourish yourself on poetry!" "I'll do it with the stew!" "One moment." "Close your eyes and open your mouth." "Now open your eyes and close your mouth." "It's called The Angelic Woman." ""I admire you always, I dream and I see you." "Without you..."" " May I?" " Of course." "Thank you." "Mr Parodi, where do you find the inspiration?" "Hey, will you have a little wine?" "Yes, thank you very much." "I have a very dry throat." "There..." "No!" "You don't drink unless you eat, so I'll drink it." "Please, go on with your poem." ""I admire you always, I dream and I see you." ""Without you, I can't live." "Without you..."" "Excuse me, could I have a glass of water?" "But of course!" "Keep reading meantime." "A bit of poetry is just what's needed." "It brings us together." "Me?" "Together with him?" "Someone who reads at the table instead of eating is bad-mannered!" "I'm going to polish my trombone." ""At your feet, I compose a madrigal," ""a stornello, a sonnet, a love poem, a snack..."" "A snack?" "Who said snack?" " You!" " I said sonnet." "Please continue!" ""I admire you and I tremble for you, angelic woman," ""forced to live in a cage." ""And it seems the ferocious tyrant," ""unaware of ardent transports," ""the romantic accents, the sharp torments" ""of a heart that loves in return," ""o sweet, divine love." ""O love, so long distracted, satisfy me, calm..."" "No, no, this is all false!" "What little guy, what poet, what delicate soul?" "Parodi was a monster, a man possessed, a heavyweight!" "Calm down, Mr Parodi's weight is irrelevant to the trial." "How's it irrelevant?" "Parodi was as big as the presiding judge!" " He'll have been 100kg or more!" " Young man..." "Young man!" "Try to moderate your language!" "Yes, your honor." "Excuse me, your honor." "Does the witness confirm the description she gave of the victim?" "Of course!" "Just as well the Swedes don't speak Italian!" "The image these cheapskate accused create for us!" "Don't worry, Nordic women prefer sturdy beefcake kind of men." " Sure?" " Look at how I imposed myself!" "And who could take our place?" " No, they're taking our place." " Why?" "They're shoving us aside!" "Look at that beanpole." "He even called his friend to join the party." " Really?" " Yes." "His friend?" "This is too much." "I'm innocent!" "I didn't do anything!" "I'll clear the court." "Not a good idea." "Not a good idea because they'd go into the corridor too, and we couldn't keep an eye on the party." " Well, then?" " Let me deal with it." "The witness can sit." " Zatopec!" " Yes, your honor?" "Please, young ladies, come through." "Right now, let's get on." "Let's hear what the accused has to say in reply." " I'm innocent!" " You said that already!" "And he's saying it again!" "Even though we still haven't found the body of the poor victim, we have convincing evidence against you." "What do I have to say?" "I didn't kill anyone, I didn't hide any body..." " I'm innocent!" " Oh, really?" "What are these, then?" "Two bloodstained daggers that were found in your suitcase." "Ah, those knives?" "Those ones?" "I'm supposed to have killed with them?" "Don't even talk about them!" "No, no...we need to speak about them." "We have to speak about them... lots." "It's 6 o'clock." "All right... all this began the morning when the beast said he wanted a new job..." "He asked me to help him." "I didn't want to, but I couldn't say no." "He'd decided he wanted to be a knife-thrower." "I suggested he should be an acrobat, but he said it was too dangerous, unlike throwing knives..." "I've almost become an expert, eh?" "Now, though, I want to try one with my eyes closed!" "Another knife!" "This one didn't work, shame." "But this time I want to try with two knives." " No, not with two knives!" " It's more entertaining with two." " I've never managed it." " No?" " It's very difficult." " Listen, please..." "Let me go through there." "I have to get you 6 new T-shirts that I hid." "I got them already." "And I told you I wanted them bigger." "Well, I'll go and change them and be right back." " Let me go, I won't be long." " Come on, don't move!" "I might make a mistake and I don't like the sight of blood." "I nearly lost an ear!" "And this was just the first in a series of incidents." "Someone even tried to eat me." " Good morning, Mr Tocci." " Good morning, madam." "What do you want today, Valentino?" "What do you want today, the usual chocolates?" "Well, Valentino?" " Do you want chocolates?" " No, I want an Easter egg!" " But it's not the season." " Yes, it is, there's one." "I want that Easter egg, that one, that one!" "My only outlet, the only thing that helped me survive that miserable life was music." "My faithful friend was the trombone that I always kept polished and clean." "I really wanted to join the village band, even just as a substitute." "Unfortunately, I had to keep an eye on the pots, so I didn't have much time to practice." "Shut up, you!" "How can you think of playing that thing?" "Don't even bother, understand?" " Give me another 100 lira." " Here you are." "Watch carefully, nothing here, nothing here, yet..." "That's extraordinary!" "What a wonderful trick!" " But how did you do it?" " Will I do it again?" "Of course!" "Even a child could have understood that idiotic trick, but her coquetry made her blind." "Look!" "He put it in his pocket, stupid!" "Too many things were ending up in the hands of that beast!" "My happiness too had been crushed in those great hands." "Yes, very much!" "You really are an exceptional man." "Give me 100 lira and I'll show you a new trick." " I'm sorry, I don't have any more." " Get some from your husband." " That way he won't waste them." " Marcello!" "Marcello, I'm talking to you." "Give me some change." "It's a while since I had any money." "What?" "You don't even have 200 or 300 lira in your pocket?" " Who'd give me money?" " He can't stand me." "He says he doesn't have any money because he doesn't want us to play." "He's jealous!" "You're jealous?" "Really?" "You don't respect me any more!" " Give me the money!" " I've only got 80 lire." "I have to buy Sidol to polish my trombone." "You don't want to embarrass me in front of our guest!" "Give me it!" "Give me the money!" "Right now, come on!" "Miser!" "Here we are." "It's too small, I don't know if I'll be able to do it." "Maybe with three." "Nothing here, nothing here..." "There!" "Gina!" "Gina, look!" "What an idea!" "What an idea I had!" "Well, what do you think?" "Isn't it wonderful?" "It's just the thing we needed." "We could take it to the sea and go for lots of lovely trips." " And you can sleep in it at night." " Me?" "Of course!" "At least we won't have to listen to you snoring." "Sleep in there in the kitchen." "If you're thirsty, you've got water." "This is the point we'd reached, your honor." "They made me sleep in the kitchen in a rubber dinghy!" "I tried to console myself with the thought that at least there I'd have peace." "It was a bit uncomfortable, but I was determined to make a go of it." "Yes, I have to admit that it wasn't that bad in the end, but I hadn't taken Parodi into consideration... or, rather, his acidic stomach." "Ouch!" "You wanted to trip me up, didn't you?" "When will you learn to cook without using garlic?" "I confess it crossed my mind in that moment, but then it passed." "Ouch!" "You really want to trip me up, eh?" "And it was the same thing every night." "He'd come four or five times and stand on my hand or foot or tummy." "Water!" "Water!" "Help!" "The house is sinking!" "So in order to avoid drowning I needed a trick." "I was an Alpine soldier, your honor, and not experienced in water." "What happened?" " You stupid fool!" " You'll be the ruin of us!" "Come on!" "How often have I told you not to smoke in bed?" " But he never listens to anyone!" " You're right, madam!" "Oh, poor thing!" "Come on." "The kitchen, the dinghy, the sore tummy, it's all made up!" " Mr Parodi ate like a little bird." " Like a canary!" "More like a crow, you mean, like a jackal, a prairie wolf!" " What's that phrase in Danish?" " Swedish, your honor." " Eh?" " Try to repeat it with me." "I don't think I'll manage." "Don't worry, just speak Italian." "A man of your experience!" "Then, in certain circumstances, there's a universal language!" "Then, if by chance they don't understand, your honor, with all due respect, may I?" "Shall we listen to the witness?" " What witness?" " What do you mean, what witness?" "That's exactly what we were talking about." "The next witness, come on." "I said and I say again that Mr Parodi was a noble being, a genuine artist, I never heard anyone play the harp like him." " What did he play?" " The harp!" "The harp?" "That beast?" "Your honor, this is great!" "That ape playing the harp!" "He couldn't tell a trowel and treble clef apart!" "This is Parodi's harp!" " This is his harp!" " He was an exquisite musician!" "Liar, slanderer, coward!" "He was a music teacher and tried to teach him, it was a waste of time." "This brute blew into his trombone..." " It's only 7:15." " It's long though, isn't it?" "But the wait is good for the soul." "But that evil being said the harp wasn't a virile instrument, and went back to his trombone!" "We'd to put cotton wool in our ears, we'd to speak in gestures like deaf people!" "And he laughed, laughed!" "Luckily, on Sundays," "Mr Parodi and I could give ourselves over to our hobby." "I really like singing." "I should have studied it... but then when Dad died..." "I know most of the operas, more than 100 arias, so on Sundays Mr Parodi accompanied Mom and I to the cultural circle." "What Avemaria?" "Do you want to know what kind of music they played in that cultural circle, your honor?" "Rock'n'roll!" "Calypso, boogie-woogie, all kinds of barbaric music!" "I found out by chance one Sunday what my wife's musical hobby really was." "I'd gone there to demand a sacrosanct right." "They'd locked up my trombone." " Yes, this was..." " Excuse me." "I'd like my key!" "Why did you lock up my trombone?" "What?" "My trombone is locked in his room, I want it." " That's Mr Parodi's room." " Yes, but the trombone is mine." "And I have the right to play it when you're out at least!" "Come on, give me the key." "What do you say?" "Will we give him the key?" " This time." "There it is." " Well done, thank you." " You want the key?" " Yes." " You want it?" " Yes." "Hey, my key!" "Hey!" " You still here?" " Give me that key now!" " If you want it, you have to dance." " Me, dance?" " Yes." " But I've never danced!" "You want the key now?" "No, I don't want your key any more." "Because I've already got it!" "Thank you for giving my key back." "Keep a close eye on your trombone, someone might steal that tin tube!" "My trombone isn't made of tin, sir!" "It's all English brass, a genuine Brown!" "And do you know how much a genuine Brown costs nowadays?" "A thousand lira a dozen!" "Not any less than 50 thousand lira, sir, not any less." " That trombone cost 50,000 lira." " At least!" "Come on, wake up a bit!" "I hope you've understood that I'm the real victim here, and I'm sure you've been moved by my story." "Right, I feel the situation has been fully described by both sides." "Any further clarification would serve no purpose." "A plus tard!" "With all due respect, your honor, "a plus tard" is French." "Well?" "French is the language of lovers." "Your honor, can we bring this to a close?" "One love each." "Your honor, it's almost 7.30." "Almost?" "Only!" "Almost..." "What will we do?" "Let's have that woman talk." " Which one?" " The third one, the shop owner." "You, madam, what's your name?" "Elvira Rossi, widow of Boni." "Fine, then, Madam Rossi, widow of Boni, come forward, come forward." "Let's hear what you have to say to us, because I imagine that you will have a lot to tell the court." "Yes, yes, your honor." "Your honor, your wife phoned again." "Tell her... to go to the station with the bags, to get on the train and I'll join her there." "All right." "But instead do you know what happened?" "This man ruined me." "What that fool managed to do in my shop is incredible!" "I paid him to work as a shop assistant and he was a gambler." "He'd organize the weirdest games with the excuse of increasing sales." " Cheese betting." " What?" " Yes, cheese betting!" " What's that?" "A betting game based on cheese, or "cacio" as they say in Tuscan." "And then mouse lotto." "Right...we haven't really understood." "Would you be so kind as to repeat what you said?" "Mouse races coupled with the cheeses." "Would you like me to explain?" "Mouse lotto...?" "Every client chose a mouse and if the mouse ate the cheese, they won." "He said we'd have raked it in and the shop was always full." "Hello?" "Hello!" "Yes." "Eh?" "Now?" "Right away." "All right." "One moment!" "Quiet!" "Since I have to leave, get your prizes from the boss." "Goodbye." "One moment!" "A moment of patience, please." "And, in fact, they all claimed." "Between winning cards, prize tokens and endless competitions, my shop was emptied." "Meanwhile he left without a backward glance as though scared of being late for who knows what meeting." " And where was he going?" " Ah..." "I never found out." "All I know is he ruined me." "With the last three pats of butter, that cynical rascal, that inveterate gambler set up a three-card trick game." "You know how it works, don't you?" "One pat wins, one pat loses." "Where's the pat?" "Is that it?" "Is that not enough, your honor?" "Tell us, on April 21 st, the day of the murder, did the accused receive the mysterious phone call?" "Yes, sir." "In a town like this where there are no entertainments of that kind, what could drag to him to that point?" "One moment!" "One moment..." "It's not that you were having a relationship with Scandinavians," "I don't know, Norwegians?" " Swedes." " Swedes, Swedes." "With Scandinavians?" "Your honor, I don't understand the question." "Fine." "You can go." "Let's hear the accused." "Where did you go after...?" "Hey!" "Who's that?" " Are you sure they're alone?" " Of course!" "Totally alone." "We were saying...where did you go after receiving those phone calls?" "I can't say." "What can't you say?" "You have to say everything." "You have to speak in your and our interests." "Don't drag it out too long, but speak, speak!" " Well..." " 40 minutes and we're there!" " I have nothing to say." " You're refusing to answer?" "This reticence will only damage your position." " Think about it." " He's starting to annoy me." " Who?" " Him there." "You know what we'll do if he insists." "We'll clear the court, that's what." "Your honor... your wife is at the station, the train is about to leave." "Good, good." "Tell her to get into her compartment and I'll join her right away." " Right away." " Right away!" "She's on the train!" "One, two, one, two..." " What's this "one, two"?" " Swedish gymnastics!" "What was the meaning of those mysterious phone calls?" "Are you going to talk or will we be here till dawn?" "No, not dawn, that would be too much." "I can't say, you'll never know, never!" "One moment!" "I can't let my noble friend sacrifice himself for me." "Professor, you can't, you mustn't say..." "To stay silent would be cowardly!" "Let me speak." "Excuse me." "The time has come to reveal my true personality." "I'm not what I seem even if my appearance is, so to speak, smart, pleasing, delicate, refined, that of a genuine gentleman." "Alas, exile has given me a burden to bear, a burden that at times is unbearable." "And I bore it with pride," "I sacrificed all my aspirations to the cause... ..and there were moments of discouragement." "I thought ugly thoughts." "Fate had been too cruel." "What's this about?" "Tell us, come on, hurry up." "It's not easy to understand if you've not experienced it." "What is it that fate has condemned you to?" "They like me." "Women like me too much." "Him as well." "But perhaps... you posses a recipe, some elixir, some..." "My heart and soul, my charm." "And this, believe me, is my great Calvary!" "Why?" "Why?" "It's exactly what we're looking for... men, men in general, I mean." "But what are these matters?" "Let's overlook them." " Sir, I will be brief." " He'll be brief." " Half an hour." " All right, have half an hour." "Thank you." "As I was saying, the problem, for me, isn't the conquest, but, unfortunately, it's the retreat, the casting off." "Your honors are men of the world, you'll understand." "After a while, women become dangerous and so you have to leave them, but without making them suffer." "The best way is to change yourself from tormentor to victim." "That's why I accepted the collaboration of my young friend, who, in my program..." " I don't know how to say it ltalian." " Program." "There!" "In my program, he was a vital pawn for my strategic retreats..." "Luigi?" "You, here?" "Why not?" "Can't you see me?" "Yes, I'm here." "Where are you going?" "Have you gone mad?" "Somebody might have seen you!" "Don't lie, o woman, the source of your concern lies elsewhere!" "I don't understand." "What's wrong?" "Do you feel ill?" "What's this suitcase for?" "You're leaving without telling me anything?" "To stay in this town now that I've finally had my eyes opened would be too painful and dishonorable, I couldn't stand it." "But why?" "What happened?" "Look, Luisa, you can accept a woman who betrays her husband, but to betray your lover, let me tell you, is primitive and savage!" "Oh, Luigi, so that's it, then?" "You're jealous?" " You have your suspicions?" " Suspicions?" "No, certainties!" "Men like you and you like men!" "I know everything now, everything!" "Oh, God!" "Aha!" "I wasn't mistaken, woman!" "Nothing remains to me but exile." "Who are you?" "What are you doing in my room?" "Oh, my sweet love, the time has come, I no longer need to hide in the wardrobe!" ""Love"?" "I don't know you!" "Oh, why, woman, do you pretend not to know me?" "Why?" "Our love is great and you know it." "You're mad!" "I've never seen him before!" "Oh, ungrateful woman, she's denying me!" "Oh, superficial, cruel creature." "Oh, superficial, cruel creature." "Oh, she causes me pain." "Oh, she causes me pain." "I'm leaving broken-hearted, but remember..." " That's enough!" " Enough!" "Farewell!" " Excuse me, sir, I'm going." " Going with a milkman!" "No, sir, I'm not a milkman but a grocer, I sell spices!" "Such cruelty!" "What a disgrace!" "Keeping a man in the wardrobe, and who knows how long for?" "He was stinking of mothballs!" "Luigi!" "Luigi!" "But my heart was deaf to all pleas." "So, for years, my system, applied scientifically, proved itself infallible." "Then that fatal April 21 st... the imponderable, what can we mere mortals do with the imponderable?" "Professor!" "I'm sorry, sorry I'm late, I got here as soon as I could." "Don't worry, I should apologies to you, disturbing you every day." " Right, Via Verdi 22, 3rd floor." " Via Verdi 22, 3rd floor." "You come in on "l know everything now, everything!"" " I know everything now, everything!" " Right, all right." "All right." "Oh, Professor... don't call me the milkman any more." "You always call me a milkman, I'm a grocer." "What if I call you a druggist?" "No, because today with all the drugs business it's a bit dangerous." "Spice merchant." "There, I'll call you a spice merchant!" "In fact, you'll be my "spice" correspondent!" "That's good!" "But, unfortunately, as I was saying, your honor, sometimes fate enjoys interfering in the plans of men." "Marcello that day reached his position with his usual bravery and contempt for danger." "But the poor thing didn't know that a few hours earlier the woman who should have been my ex, Carmen, had bought a new wardrobe, and that the delivery men had brought the wrong one." " Not dark." " That's clear." "We took it to the lawyer, of course!" "It's not far from here." "We'll bring it right now." "Come on, let's go." "It seemed too light to me." "Watch those balloons don't burst in your face." "Go on, hurry up!" "Hey, hey, doesn't this seem heavier?" "No, it's you who's tired, come on." " Gastone!" " lolanda!" "This is great!" "I wasn't expecting you till tomorrow!" "I made the old ship work!" "I was feeling very homesick!" "Six months is a long time!" "I felt I'd been away for ages." "And it was hard for you too!" "I know everything, everything!" " What's going on?" " I don't know." "I don't understand." "Oh, my sweet love, the time has come, I no longer need to hide." "But I don't know you!" "Who are you?" " What's he doing here?" " I don't know." " Why do you deny me, dear?" " Don't touch me!" " Our love is great..." " What?" "Our love?" "You're drunk!" "I've never seen you before." "I don't know who he is!" "Gastone, I don't know him, believe me!" "Who are you?" "Why do you say this?" "These cruel words make me suffer." "Oh, she's denying me!" "Oh, she's denying me!" "I'm going, but remember my heart is broken!" "Oh, you're wicked!" " Goodbye." " That's enough!" "But I..." "Gastone, I swear, none of it is true!" "Iolanda, at your age!" "Luigi!" "You, here?" " Unfortunately!" " Have you gone mad?" "What if my husband comes back?" "I could even confront your husband if it were worth it, but since he's away for three days..." "But this, woman, isn't the source of your concern!" "What are you saying?" "Where are you going with this suitcase?" "To stay in this town now that I've finally had my eyes opened would be too painful and dishonorable, I couldn't stand it." "Your eyes opened?" "What does that mean?" "See, you've destroyed all the hope I placed in love!" "Lovers don't betray each other, rather they should kill each other!" "What a fright you gave me, babe!" "You're jealous?" "You've no reason to be!" "Your Carmen doesn't deserve these suspicions." "Suspicions?" "Certainties!" "Men like you and you like men!" "I know everything now, everything!" "Luigi, Luigi!" "I know everything!" "I kn...!" "Treasure, what's up?" "How many wardrobes do you have in this house?" " Only this one?" " A house like this, only one?" "Yes, there's just one." " This is Via Verdi 22, 3rd floor?" " What are you asking me?" "With all the flowers you sent me!" "Are there other Bonottis here?" "No, we're the only Bonottis in the town." "But what do you care about wardrobes now you've had the proof of my love?" " Carmen?" " Who's that?" " My husband!" " I thought he was away for 3 days!" " Hide, hurry!" " What?" "What happened, love?" "Is the conference already over?" "No, I forgot my dark suit so I came back to get it." "Who are you?" "Excuse me, but unfortunately..." "You're a burglar, a common burglar in my house!" " Burglar?" " Burglar!" "Hey!" "How dare you call someone like me a burglar?" "I'm an honorable man, you know, and pleasing too..." "No, you're a burglar!" "Again with this burglar!" "A man in a wardrobe has to be a burglar?" "He couldn't be a... ..a lover?" " What?" "You?" "My wife's lover?" "Please!" "Please?" "No, please you, you..." "Excuse me!" "You're a burglar!" "You don't want to make me believe I'm a cuckold?" "Especially... thanks to you!" "Yes, thanks to me." "I'm your wife's lover!" "I'm sorry, dear." "He asked for it." "I wouldn't believe it, even if I saw it." "This is good!" "You're really presumptuous!" "Go on, Carmen, tell him who I am." "Tell him!" "Come on, let's have a laugh!" "I was having a confused spell." " Forgive me?" " Happy now?" "I told you!" "Only once, I swear!" "I'm at your disposal." "The duel is my favorite sport." "Hang on!" "Don't go." "What do you want to do?" "Here we are, then." "These are the bills to be paid." "These are the keys to the apartment." "The rent is three months overdue." "The dressmaker's bill..." "This...?" "No, I'll pay this." "That wouldn't be fair." "How long have you been my wife's lover?" "I don't think gentlemen should go into these details." "No, I'd rather leave you everything, the house, my wife, the bills, everything, everything." "On June 13th were you already... ..with..." "Carmen?" "Have a look." "June?" "There, there, Tuesday." " No." " No." "I'll pay this one, then." "There you are." "This is for you." "Goodbye." "And this, with a woman like that, might come in handy one day." "Goodbye." "Bye, dear." "Luigi!" "What a great news!" "We'll never leave each other again!" "It was a dramatic event, but another wardrobe saved me from that business." "And what is it they say?" "All's fair in love and war." "Et voila!" "But I swear, your honor, he was the only one fighting a war!" "It's splendid!" "Do you like it, Gina?" " Yes, lots!" " It's beautiful." " It's really marvelous." " I'm happy you like it." "Good evening." "It's not easy to know the tastes of a beautiful woman." "I don't know how I could ever thank you." "I'm not going to die tomorrow, you'll have your chance." "What do you want for supper tonight?" "Not the usual slop, please!" "Only gentlemen have an eye for these things." "He's an errand boy and always will be!" "Oh, it's beautiful." "And you don't even remember what day it is today!" "Ah!" "See if you like it." "It's gold." "It's 18 carats." "18-carat gold!" "You've got some nerve!" "I should put it away." "The smell from the cooking might ruin it." " Will you come with me, Mr Parodi?" " Of course, gladly." "Disgrace!" "You didn't even thank Mr Parodi for the present he gave Gina!" "What kind of impression you'll give him of us!" "Muskrat is in this year just like mink!" "Do you have any idea what it's worth?" "How could you, if you barely earn in a month the price of that stole?" "How much could that fur cost?" "It costs 50 thousand lira!" "And what's 50 thousand lira?" "My trombone is worth 50 thousand lira!" "My trombone!" "My trombone is worth 50,000 lira..." "No!" "No!" "You..." "where did you put my trombone?" " I'll call a doctor!" " Don't call a doctor... ..call the undertaker!" " What's he going to do?" "Come here, you rat!" "Tell me what you did with my trombone?" " I don't know..." " Ah, you don't know?" " I don't know!" " I'll tell you!" "You sold it to buy the stole!" "Don't hit him, the poor thing!" " You dirty rat, I'll kill you!" " No, no..." "Come here!" "Vengeance, terrible vengeance!" "Tie them up!" "That was the last time I saw Parodi." "I didn't kill him, I swear, I didn't kill him." "As soon as I'd got it out my system, I left." "The train will be at least 5km away." "You big bachelor!" "With all due respect, your honor, you're more handsome as a bachelor!" "I'm a bit of a mess." "You don't have a comb, some lavender, a spot of brilliantine?" "I have the weapons of seduction." "Fine, that's enough." "The judges are going to confer." "A last touch with the comb helps even with short hair." "20 years, your honor." " What?" " 20 years younger!" "A young man." "What a nice tune, what is it?" " Swedish Rhapsody, your honor." " Swedish?" "How does it go?" " Tonino!" " Gaspare!" "Surprise!" "Here we are!" "I was on the train when I met her coming back." "So I said, "What will I do up there on my own?" "Leave tomorrow instead!"" "She came back to get some pullovers because it's very cool up there." " Didn't it work out well?" " Didn't it?" " We'll wait for you here." " We won't move." " Tonino is so sweet." " My Gaspare is a treasure." "He's like a baby." "Every time he sees me, he's speechless." " It's moving, it's moving." " Mine is the same." "Yes, I saw that." "But you can understand it, what would they do without their little wives?" " Without us!" " We spoil them." "We certainly do." "Stand up." "Let's look at them now because we'll never see them again." "Judge!" "Well?" "The finale of the Swedish Rhapsody." "The Swedish Rhapsody?" "You're not here to have fun!" " Tarquini!" " We're retiring?" "Retiring?" "It's time for the verdict!" "Retiring...!" "This is the verdict." "Guilty, guilty and guilty!" "No!" "No!" "I'm innocent!" "I'm innocent!" "I'm innocent!" "I'm innocent!" "I'm innocent!" "They're not putting me in a cage!" "They've no chance!" "Good morning, Marcello." "Where are you going with your case?" "I'm going!" "I don't want to die in the kitchen!" "I'm going to the professor, I'm going to enjoy life!" "No, listen... don't run away, Marcello!" "See, Mom?" "He ran away." "But why does he treat me like this?" "What did I do to him, Mom?" " Wait!" " What is it?" "Just as well!" "See, dear?" "He left the trombone." " He'll be back, don't worry." " Really, Mom?" " Where's the rental sign?" " Up there." "Thank you very much." "Goodbye." " Where are you going, Marcello?" " I'm leaving." "Adalgisa, come into my arms!" "Don't resist!" "You're mine, mine, mine!" " You know I'll have you!" " Please!" "Don't be brutal, Luigi!" "Don't make me regret coming to your house." "You won't regret it, my love." "No poet is able to describe the world" "I'll give to you." "Close your eyes, Adalgisa, and dream of happiness." "Don't deny me, Adalgisa." "Oh, my beauty, quench my scorched soul!" "No, no and no!" " I don't want to marry you!" " But why?" "Why don't you want to marry me?" "I've been begging you for 1 2 years to become my wife..." "But marriage is the tomb of love." "Why do you want to spoil everything?" "For 12 years I've heard this sweet voice that does nothing but say to me with unprecedented cruelty no, no, no, no!" "I'm still not certain of your love!" "But what...what do I have to do to show you that I love you?" "Are all the promises of fidelity not enough, my admiration for your beautiful soul...?" "I don't go out at night any more." "Scion of a race of gamblers, since I met you, not a game of cards, no fun... to show you that I was born to have a family." "I gave up everything." "Marry me, Adalgisa, marry me!" "Let's create our own little hearth, we'll have so many children!" "No!" "But why won't you see that marriage is a wonderful thing?" "You men are all the same!" "All you think about is marriage!" "And then..." "lots of babies spoil the figure." "No, no, I still need time to think about it." "All my friends went rusty when they got married, they lost their femininity!" "Let's stay engaged." "But I can't live on my own any more, as sad as a stray dog!" "Making my own lunch, eating squalid mozzarellas!" "And I'm the same as you!" "This is the price of freedom!" "Luigi, we're like two swallows in the sky now." "Why chain us up with marriage?" "But, Adalgisa, dear, marriage is the point of life!" "Please don't shout!" "You don't understand me!" "How can I tell you?" "I'm not ready for this!" "No!" "Don't go away." "I won't shout any more, I'm sorry." "We'll wait, we'll wait... think about it calmly..." "Oh, God!" "Who is it?" "I've been compromised." "Who's there?" "Who is it?" "My young friend!" "Did you hear everything?" "You won't want to ruin me, I hope?" "Tell me it's our secret or I'll be the laughing stock of the town!" "I trust in your understanding, and I'm your friend." "Don't betray me!" "Try to understand me." "I'm so in love." "Good luck." "Luigi?" "Leave the door open." "I'm your fiancée, not your lover." "Yes, yes, yes." "Hey, Marcello, listen..." " What did you do to Gina?" " Why?" " She's howling her eyes out." " Her there?" "Sure!" " It's all an act." " Do as you like, but then if she dumps you, you'll be the one crying." "Excuse me, what floor is the room to rent on?" " The third." " Where are you going?" "What do you care?" "Leave my brother alone!" "You two are brothers?" " Twins." " Twins?" "Yes, twins." "This simpleton got all the milk and I got the leftovers." "In any case, you're just the same." "I know you well, you two Parodis!" "You wanted to rent Rosa's room?" "Rosa, Viola, who cares?" "I read "for rent" and was going to see." "The sign's wrong!" "There's no room here." "Get lost!" "What will we do?" "I'd really like to teach him a lesson!" " No, let's not." "Forget it." " Shut up!" "Careful or I'll take it out on you." "Let's go!" "Marcello!" "We'll stay here." "Oh, God bless you, children!" "This is the happiest day of my life!" " Madam, I..." " Call me Mom!" "Gina, I've got a lovely surprise for you." "Oh, sorry, Marcello, naturally, it's for both of you." "Look!" "What an idea, eh?" "We'll enjoy it this summer at the beach!" "No!" " Marcello!" " Does he feel sick?" " Marcello, what's wrong?" " Mom with the dinghy!" "Mom with the dinghy!" "No!" "..there's an element of truth in every dream..." "Chan Lu Lai translation: moosesubtitling subtitles:" "Stadion Video, Rome"