"Greetings Agrestic Elementary school, class of 2006." "Hello teachers, siblings, parents, step-parents, pets..." "No pets." "OK." "Greetings Agrestic Elementary school, class of 2006." "Did you know about all of this stuff?" "Of course not." "You never clean anymore." " I think he do this for you." " Please." "Look, he decide to steal cameras, not the car stereos and doorknobs." "Why do anyone steal a doorknob?" "There are some nice doorknobs." "Lupita," " listen..." " Yes?" "...if something were to happen to me.." " What's going to happen to you?" " Nothing, nothing but if something did," " Yes?" "the kids go to my sister Jill." "Not to Andy, OK?" "Jill." "Her number's in my book." " Jill Price-Grey, with a fucking hyphen." " Fucking hyphen" "Under Jay, for Jill,..." "You know what?" "Don't worry about it." "Nothing's gonna happen." "Yeah." "I'm gonna be fine." " OK." " OK." "I'm not going to Chili with you!" "OK." "Bolivia then." "Or one of the "guay"s." "Para, Uru." "You decide." "Why?" "Why do we have to leave?" "Because..." "I stole 1.3 million dollars worth of poker chips from a casino in Canada." "An Abumchuk is not just a bounty hunter but he's also an ultimate fighter." "But don't worry, I have a plan." "We'll go down to South America, we find this guy Elmet, a serious gambler." "He'll buy the chips for 34 cents on the dollar" "And we'll get a little casita, and have babies." "I always know exactly when I'm ovulating." "Oh my God!" "We'll leave today after graduation." "I'll make a Waldorf salad for the road, or a corn salad." "I make a great corn salad." "Do you have a cooler?" "You know," "I haven't forgotten how you stabbed me screaming "die shitile, die"." "You stepped on my spirit turtle." "You are bat-shit nuts, Kat." "And I love that about you but I've never meant for you to find me again." "And I cannot go away with you." "You know how I hate to travel alone." "I wanna lick the space where your toes used to be." "I know you do, I know." "Oh God!" "That's it, right there, right there..." "Son of a bitch." "Son of a fucking cold bitch!" "Silas, it's me, again." "I'm offering you amnesty if you come home in the next hour." "Probation, if you show up for graduation." "At the very least, please, let me know you're okay." "Wow!" "You look very handsome." "Are we moving?" "Why won't you let me get through today and then ask me about that again tomorrow, okay?" "Is Silas coming to my graduation?" "I'm not sure about that." " Mom?" " Yeah." "What do I tell people when they ask what you do?" "You tell them I'm your mom." "I've been doing some research on the Internet and I really think Pittsburgh is the place for us." "I'll keep that in mind." " Pittsburgh." "OK." " Pittsburgh." " Good morning." " Good morning what?" "!" "No, I spilled!" "I'll go get the paper towels." "Honey, relax." "It's just a little milk." " But mom will tota..." " Mom will what?" "Mom's not here." "She'll be back." "No, honey." "Not this time, really." "Come on." "Dad, you know that Harry Potter's books that we've read?" "Love them all!" "Love Harry Potter." "Mom is Voldemort." "Don't you know that?" "You may have reduced her to vapor know but she is out there, gathering her strength." "And she will be back." "Don't you know that?" "You'd better get ready for graduation." "Big day today." "Big day!" "Silas, we're leaving for graduation now." "I hope you'll meet us there." "This is really important to Shane." "Really." "Don't do this to him." "Jesus, you scared me!" "Good." "I hope you peed your panties." " Where is he?" " Who?" "Oh right, I guess you had to ask that." ""Who, Celia?"" "The one who called you a drunk at a public assembly or the one who stole civic property." "I have no idea what you're talking about." "I have Silas on video, stealing." "I have no idea what you're talking about." "Oh not today!" "Mom, we're gonna be late." "Where the hell did you get a gun?" "I borrowed it from Pam." "Oh my God!" "I only had the one bullet." "I was gonna shoot Doug." "I'll see you at graduation." "Are you okay?" "This would had never happened in Pittsburgh." "Why am I even here?" "I heard you might be meeting your maker today." "So we figured we send that boy off to die with a nice hot breakfast in his belly." "What do you know?" "What do we know?" "Vaneeta?" "What do we know?" "Is the baby too little for a blueberry?" "No." "But you give it to him cut it up real small." "And put a bib on 'cause that shit won't stain." "Heylia got a little visit from your girlfriend." "I told her not to come to y'all." "Ain't nobody listening to you Conrad." "He come after you?" "Yeah." "He gonna want to finish it." "Probably." "Let me ask you this." "You want to die today?" "No." "Eat your fucking waffle." "Greetings Agrestic Elementary school, class of 2006." "Hello teachers, parents, step-parents, siblings, boyfriends and girlfriends of parents assorted relatives, friends of your mom and dad you call aunt and uncle and really aren't." "And... principle Dodge." "As I stand before you today, on the brink of junior high, here is what I have to say." "You have failed us all!" "Everything is not okay!" "We have becomed alienated, desensitized, angry and frightened." "If we picture Agrestic as an airplane, a grand soaring jet carrying us through the sky," "I think you all need to understand :" "there are motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane." "OK, that's it, Botwin." "That is quite enough!" "We said no profanity." "You are done." "Here is your diploma and you are Agrestic Junior High's problem now." "Ladies and Gentlemen it's time to give out the diplomas." "Let him speak!" "Motherfucking let him motherfucking speak!" "I will call off this graduation if we don't have order right now !" "I mean it!" "Everybody keep quiet!" "You're not safe." "You moved here so that you'd feel safe but your children are not safe." "I have to go." "Take Shane to the party and I'll see you guys later." "Tell Shane I'm sorry I had to go." " Where you going?" " It's business." "Where are you going?" "Congratulations, you've all graduated." "Goodbye!" "Just making sure you were coming." "We both know how you lie." "Either you control your woman or I will." "I hear you." "I'm cutting in." "Are you my boyfriend or not?" "I liberated a case of Cactus Cola for the ride." " I'm not going with you." " Tastes like baby aspirin." "Oh, well, in that case I'm still not going." "Jesus, you scared me." "You oughta let a person know you're coming." "I was gonna cut you up into 7 little men holding hands." "Did you hear from our friend?" "Yeah, he left a note on my car, he's trying to scare me." " Is it working?" " Fuck, yes!" "You're a good kisser." " Oh, shit." " What?" "What's oh shit?" "Abumchuck." "It's now or never, come with me." "I can't be alone and you're my favorite person on Earth." "I can't do it, Kat." "Fine, fuck you." "Give me your van keys." " You can't have my van." " I'm just gonna steal it anyway." "Fine." "Wife fucker." "Career wrecker." "You punched my neck." "You're freakishly tall." "I'm also freakishly long so imagine how much of me was inside your wife." "Come here." "Did you hear my speech?" " Uh... no, I missed it." " You're an asshole." "Look, I'm sorry." "Okay?" "I had stuff to do." "Where's mom?" "I don't know she took off during my speech." "Did she say where she was going?" "No, she just left." "Some fucking family you got stuck with, huh?" "Hey, what's up?" "Man, you're coming in real time or you're coming in black people time?" "Alright, we'll be here." "Black people time?" "It's almost like water mellons." "Some of us got dicks, most of us got trouble getting places on time." "I get it." "I like gin and I'm not much for hugging." "Did you bring a gun?" "Actually, that's one cultural stereotype that I am not fulfilling today." "I brought a gun." "Celia left it at my house this morning after she shot my kitchen cabinet." "Jesus!" "Give me that fucking thing!" "There aren't any bullets in it." "Another great plan from you." "Shouldn't put metal in microwave." "Hi, honey, I got your note." "Sure know how to charm a girl." "You've been fucking him the whole time you were married to me?" " No, I told you that." " But you're a liar." "It's just business between us." "Always has been." "Well, your loss." "She fucks like a wild animal." "Hey, guys..." "Oh... isn't it my shift?" "You're the little shit who smashed my muffin." "Forgive me?" "If you let go, I will kill you!" "I will kill you!" "I will kill you, you son of a bitch!" "Alright, now you're dead!" "Now you are fucking dead!" "I have no respect for you personally." "But I always thought you were cute." "And I'm single now." "By the way, have you seen your nephew?" "Never mind." "Suit looks good." "I'll be in touch." "Get the fuck out of my way." "Jesus, people are so rude in he South." "Well, that's it." " Yeah?" " Yeah, we're broken up." "Sorry, kid." "He's a... heartbreaker that one." "Yeah, well, maybe they deserve each other." "Who?" "Shane and Kat." "Yeah, well, she's gone." "I know." "They left together." "They..." "Shit!" "When?" "Few minutes ago." "The two of them took off." "Yo, motherfuckers!" "Anybody home?" "Big bad wolf's coming in." "I'll be waiting in my truck." "Open, fucking little piggies!" "You're out too." "Not with him." "Somebody gotta answer the door." "Hold up!" "Okay." "Don't come out of here." "No matter what." "Don't come out, okay?" "Oh hey." "It's about time." "I was just about to huff and puff." "Some nice setup you got here." "Now take off your shirt." " What?" " Take off your fucking shirt." "Come on, check Conrad for a wire." "She's mine." " Hold up, dog." "That's bullshit." " It's called due dilligent." "You're gonna do the dilligent or am I?" "It's dilligence." "Nice titties." "Okay, I've shown you mine." "Now show me yours." "In a minute, I gotta pee." "Where's your fucking toilet?" "Doing that maple lemonade fast." "Flushes you out." "Pees more than my cousin Jerome who only got one kidney." "Poor Jerome." "We are gonna have the best adventure." "Thanks for keeping me company, Shane." "Cactus cola?" "Where are we going?" "Where do you wanna go?" " Pittsburgh!" " Okay." "But we have to make a quick stop in Paraguay first." "Cool!" "Tastes like baby aspirin!" "Step on it, Geronimo!" "You watch that shit, man." "Yes?" "No, no, no, no." "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Kashishian says goodbye." "I've been on this flush." "Yeah." "Maple lemonade." "My kid's graduating so um... can we just get through this?" "Give us the money, we give you the drugs, everybody goes away." "You don't see the cash until I see the weed." "Come on, help me with it." "Open 'em." "No." "You don't see the weed until I see the cash." "You know what?" "You're almost right about that." "What the fuck?" "Yeah, now give us the drugs and we'll let you live." "Open her up." "Where's the money?" "Ain't no money, fool." "I'm a fucking criminal." "Now open up the safe 'fore I shoot both of y'all." "I hear you, you're a wonderful criminal." " Bitch!" " Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "What the hell are you thinking, dog?" "I'm thinking you ain't got no army." "Oh... shit." "And right now business is business, home boy." "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "What the fuck?" "Where is the money?" "The negro lady say I kill agent Asshole, you pay us." "He's dead?" "Where is my money, Conrad?" "We ran into a little problem." "There ain't no money 'cause they decided to jack us." "Son of a bitch!" "Motherfucker!" "Fine." "We take the pot then." "No way." "That's my shit." " Why?" "You killing federal agent?" " Me killing all y'all." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "We all got guns." "Excuse me." "We kill each other then nobody gets nothing." "He's dead?" "Peter?" "Yes!" "Okay, okay." "Sorry, a lot of data floating around." "Will somebody open the fucking safe?" " You gotta pee again?" " Shut the fuck up!" "Open the fucking safe!" "Nancy..." " Open the fucking safe?" " Okay." "Oh." "Not today." "Ain't no motherfucking weed in here." " The fuck is this shit?" " Bitch you about to die." "Relax, everybody." "I'm uh..." "I'm reaching for my cell phone." "Hold on." "It's ringing." "Hi, Nancy." "Honey... did you take something that doesn't belong to you?" "I want in." "That's him." "That's the little fucker who stole my cameras." "Arrest him." "Shit!"