"Rasmus?" "Rasmus!" "Rasmus!" "Here I come Everyone's chum" "If I've left out anyone I'm just dumb" "Me, I'm always ready to go I'm merry and jolly and say Hey ho!" "I'm the guy who spreads happiness It's my job to defuse stress" "Whether you're a friend or not I'll be there to help a lot" "And just so as you know I can't say no" "I can't say no" "I'll help you, too Even if I hardly know you" "I can' say no" "Spreading sunshine is my way From the very break of day" "Because I can't say no" "I can't say no" "If you want, hey, give me a ring You bet I'll just drop everything" "Actually I'm a little bit shy Sometimes everything goes awry" "What I'd like is to run away But something seems to make me stay" "Whether you're a friend or not I'll be there to help a lot" "Because I can't say no" "I can't say no" "I'll help you, too Even if I hardly know you" "I can't say no" "Spreading sunshine is my way From the very break of day" "I can't say no" "There's a lot I want to do." "There really is." "But falling out with people ..." "I'd rather not." "THE MAN WHO COULDN'T SAY NO" "Bolette?" "It's just that I ..." "Just that you what?" " I don't think I can feel your ..." "Feel my what?" " Your coil." "Never mind that." "Aren't we having fun?" "Yes, but ..." " Can't you just enjoy it?" "Instead of giving me a gynaecological examination?" "And anyway   how can you tell if I've taken my coil out?" "It was just a feeling." "You've always said you couldn't feel it." "I didn't want to upset you, Baby." "Bolette, listen!" "If we want a baby we must be sure we want one." "It's working out really well, yes?" " Of course we are ..." "It'd work out with a baby, too, yes?" "So let's make that baby instead of just talking about it." "You're not going to answer it, are you?" "It's the publisher's, baby." "Elin speaking." "Jack's book's arrived." "You ought to have a look at it." " This minute?" "He's busy putting a bun in my oven." "Are you with Bolette?" "Her book's arrived, too." " I'm coming." "HERDIS THE WITCH" "I thought we were in the middle of something really nice." "Yes, but ..." "Do you know where my shirt is?" " I've bought you a much nicer one." "Wow!" "No sleeves!" "Thank you." "And we're on for tonight, yes?" "Yes ... of course." "Hey, Rasmus!" "Don't you want any flowers?" "Half price!" "We haven't sold any all day." " OK." "Bjerre's Publishing House" "Good morning." " Good morning, Rasmus." "Where is it?" "Where's the book?" "Over there." "It came by taxi from that Ludvigsen café place." "A good poem is one that's just next to everything else." "I'm sorry to burst in on you." "But can you spare a moment?" "Our exalted boss thought I should ask you about my new book." "I've got wind of renewed interest in numismatics." "I think we should publish a book of European coins   while they're still around." ""Endangered Coins"." "I had thought of "Currency in Peril" But it's a bit too flashy." "The idea is ..." " Per?" "I want a word with Rasmus." " I'll come back later." "When you're not so busy." " Of course, of course, Per." "It's the first decent thing he's written for years." "Elin, it's really good." "Even though you don't like him, if we publish this   the next one'll be a novel." "Right, Per?" "The great novel on the Eighties?" " He just needs some help." "Jack!" "My name is Jørgen Hansen but that was no name for a poet in the 80s." "JACK HØST IS A GENIUS" "ANGRY JACK HØST THE HEMINGWAY OF THE 80s" "MANHOLE JACK HØST" ""PURE RECYCLING"" ""NOTHING NEW FROM JACK HØST"" "Kamma?" "Did the editor like the book?" " What?" "Sure." "What are we witnessing here?" "It's fantastic, Jack." " It suddenly came to me." "I wrote for 61 hours on the trot." "Wicked, eh?" "But ... what about the rest of it?" "The rest of it?" " It's just that ..." "I can't get it to more than 40 pages." " They've got everything." "There are great things here that we want more of." ""We"?" "So now you and the editor are on weeing terms?" "Can't you just write a teeny bit more?" "When a book's finished it's finished and it knows it." "We're not making sausages." "This is art." "If we make a combination ..." "Use this   and something from your old work." "See, you can do it!" "Your muse is back!" "Just a moment ..." "I've got the title!" ""Kamma's Hybrid"." ""Kamma's Hybrid" ... yes." "OK, OK, fine." "Hi, mouse." " Hi, baby." "What are you doing?" " It's art." "So I see." "So you've taken up sketching, Jack?" "Super." "Perhaps that's where your talents lie." "How are the kiddies' books doing?" " Fine, thanks." "Come here, Mouse." "I was thinking ... if we went back to my place in the lunch break ..." "We know just what Bolette wants the editor for, eh, Kamma?" "Luckily not all of us can only get it off with reptiles." "Sperm sucker!" " Lizard fucker!" "Come on, babe." "Come on!" "Herdis the Witch?" "Jack suggested a vampire who lived on children's blood." "He was furious when we decided to make her good." "And he was hopping mad when I won the Children's Book Award." "Bolette ... a good thing we got rid of her." "Why don't you move back to your own flat?" "I'm going to." " Like hell." "She's got you hooked." "In ten years' time you'll have four screaming Bolette clones." "You like kids, too, Jack." " You don't like her." "I do!" " For fucking when you're bored." "You think they'll be happy kids?" "I think it'll work very well." " "Work!" You're a coward." "Are you coming?" " I'm coming." "What are you doing?" " Can we work on it tomorrow?" "What?" "Rasmus!" "Rasmus!" " Rasmus, are you coming, or ..." "Do you accept it?" " Accept ..." "The book! "Kamma's Hybrid!" Tell the truth." "You've lost faith in Jack Høst." " I do have faith in you." "You are really good." "You'll be good again." "That'll be 12 000, right?" "12 000?" " You accept, and I get an advance." "Is 12 000 our usual amount?" "Oh, OK." "Can you give me 200 right away?" "Yes ..." "Did you promise him 12 000 for that carrier bag?" "He's writing again!" "It's great!" " 12 000!" "A wee bit much, perhaps?" "Yes." "I'll go and check with Mr. Bjerre." "Rasmus!" "Can I talk to you about Jack's new book?" "Of course." " It's a small thing." "But I think it'll be good." "A small thing from Mr. Høst." "Again." "A novel'd have been nicer." "There'll be a novel next time." "How long is it?" " We want to mix prose and poetry." "Rasmus, how many pages?" "Forty." " We can't sell 40 pages." "I'll get him to write some more." " If you can do that, well ..." "And no more than 3 000 in advance." "Agreed?" "Yes, of course." "I'm sorry." "I didn't realize ..." " Not at all." "This is my daughter, Emilie." "This is Rasmus, our jealous guardian of good literature." "Hi." " Hello." "Emilie's just got back from Australia." "She spent a couple of years there." "Thanks." " We'll talk later, Rasmus." "Goodbye, then." " 'Bye." "Why don't you dump him?" " Something is on its way." "He's burnt out." " He's found this new style." "It's really well written." "I think he deserves another chance." "But 40 pages!" "Honestly!" "40 pages!" "How many chances is he going to get?" "Oh, no!" "Do we have to climb that ladder?" "Rasmus?" "Rasmus?" "Hasn't it been lovely living together for the last couple of months?" "Rasmus!" "Rasmus!" "Look!" "One of your old poems from "The Animal"." "Psychedelic super hero Flying in the sky" "I want you to know that Two of us for you await" "Me and my cat." " Yes." "Can't we forget about it?" "It's funny." "Rasmus, why don't you get rid of your flat and move in with me?" "There isn't room for my stuff." " Or it'll never come to anything." "And we're going to have a baby and everything." "I thought you liked having everything to yourself." "There, there ..." "All right, I'll stay." "Will you?" "Will you?" "Baby ..." "And Bolette was ... my muse." "As she was for a whole gang from out of town." "We've got plenty of time." " What if the watchman comes?" "He can watch." "You've no knickers on." " I must have forgotten them." "Oh, no!" " Don't answer it." "You can't answer it!" "Kamma has got a brain tumour." "You must come to the vet with me." "I'm in my container." "I can't talk now." "With Bolette?" " Looking out stuff for your book." "I'm meant to be left on my own to hear Kamma's death sentence?" "I'm coming." " She's dying." "Are you Jack Høst's slave now?" "Kamma's ill." " Kamma's ill!" "Jack's the one who's ill." "Mentally ill." "Since the 1980s." "You obey his every whim while he ignores your allergy to pets." " I'm sorry." " You're sorry, my arse." "I'm sorry, too." "Are you going just like that?" " Yes." "Don't even dream about coming home to sleep or anything ..." "OK." "Is it now?" " Please wait in the queue." "Mrs. Sørensen?" "It won't be long now ..." "They can't just let her die." " Just a moment ..." "Get your stupid animals to shut up!" "There's a queue." "I've been waiting more than 3 hours." "Get out of the way." " For that dwarf pony?" "You racists!" "My daughter's pony has had a heart attack." "I've got an acute brain tumour." "I want to see a vet right now!" "This is so embarrassing." " Kamma Høst?" "Is this it?" " About time too." "She's dying." " This way, please." "Let's see ..." " She doesn't like strangers." "We'll see, all right?" "Its eyes are clear." "What did you say was wrong?" "She's got a brain tumour." "Her tongue's dry and she won't eat." "What's her life like?" " Good." "I take her everywhere." "She lives on his shoulder." " That may be what's wrong." "They are very sociable but they also need peace and quiet." "Has Kamma got a terrarium?" " She has the whole flat." "I'd recommend a proper terrarium where she can be herself." "She doesn't like being on her own." "Mind you don't confuse your needs with your pet's." "Does she get anything to drink?" " Yes." "Special strength lager." "I want a scan!" " We'll try something else first." "Excuse me." "Bless you ..." "are you allergic to animals?" "I love animals." " Come on!" "We need the prescription first." " Emilie, will you come?" "Yes." "Nice seeing you ... again." "Likewise." " Rasmus, come on!" "OK then." "Goodbye ..." "What does it say?" " Veterinary surgeon ..." "Emilie ..." "Jackson." "She's just got home from Australia." " What does the prescription say?" "!" "Calm, regular habits, no special strength lager, less shouting." "I want a taxi." "I'm going back to the office." " Bolette chucked you out again?" "I'm walking." " What about us?" "We need a taxi." "She's ill." "I need 100 kroner." "Oh, yes." "Right." "Funny that her name's Jackson." " Who?" "Emilie ..." "Emilie Jackson." "Very strange." "I expect she's married." "Taxi!" "Hey, that's my taxi!" "Just a moment ..." "Yes?" "Oh?" "So several of us are working late?" "Well, we do what we can." "Everything will be all right." " Of course." "Don't stay up all night, will you?" " No." "I don't think our children's writer would approve." "In trouble again?" " A bit, yes." "Love is a strange thing." "I won't disturb you." "Good night." "I met Emilie today." "At the vet's." "She's been given a temporary job while she decides what she wants." "She'll be going back to Australia?" " I should think so, eh?" "She's here on holiday?" " You may say so." "She's got a husband down under?" " Do answer it." "Goodnight." "It's me." "I just wanted to say goodnight." "Goodnight." " I'm sorry I was so silly today." "You weren't so bad." " You put a lizard before me." "Yes." "It was wrong of me." " Are you with Jack?" "I talked to Bjerre." "His daughter had a few problems." "Are you with her?" " We just talked about her." "She's just come home from Australia and her husband lives there." "How do you know?" "Bjerre said so." "Aren't you coming home to bed?" " I'm already in bed." "Can't I come to your place?" " There's only room for one." "I bought you some flowers." "You can have them tomorrow." "Goodnight." " Goodnight." "Calm." "Regular habits." "No special strength lager." "Less shouting." "Tastes nice, right?" " You were told not to do that." "Tastes good." "Shouldn't we have her checked again?" "Who?" " Kamma." "Just to be on the safe side." "I could pop past the vet's." "Leave my lizard out of your sex life." "Give me that advance." "How much was it?" " 12 000, Rasmus." "I'll go and check." "Oh, yes ... the coin book." "I'll look at it." "It doesn't matter any more." "What?" " Haven't you heard?" "Head what?" " Per has been sacked." "My job has been discontinued." "In that case I'll give in my notice as well." "Rasmus, have you got a moment?" "I'll tell him now." " Rasmus!" "I've sold the business to Lejon Books." "To the Swedes?" " I had no choice." "What will you do?" " I'm leaving on Saturday." "That's when we'll announce it." "Yes ..." "Per was beyond saving." "But you and Elin will continue." "Oh ... thanks." " You must say hi to your new boss." "Staffan is in my office." "He is extremely Swedish." "Obviously ... yes, I'll talk to them." "Give me a month and I'll turn this wreck around." "Copenhagen is great." "Wonderful Copenhagen." "Monster .. yes, I'm a super monster." "Thank you very much." "Yes, goodbye." "That was Stockholm." "Are they expecting things?" "Yes, they are." "This is Rasmus Skovgaard, who edits our Danish publications." "Hello, old chum." " Hello." "So you speak Danish?" " "So and so"." "I used to sell furniture for Ikea Denmark." "But now it's books." "Bjerre, I don't want to take up your time, so ..." "'Bye." "I want to use your creative potential in a completely new way." "Is this project something for you?" "Yes, it is." ""Lust und Liebe" ..." "What's that?" "It's a monster success in Germany and it will be here." "Digital interactive sex guidance for adults." "With pages on video and DVD on the web ... it all started with this." "Are you game?" "Yes, you are." "Monster game." "What shall I do with it?" " Make a Danish version." "We've got Per for that." "Maybe it was silly to sack him." "It was silly not to sack him ages ago; you heard about his coin book?" "Per has had a good sense for ..." " Precisely." "Has had." "The choice was between you and him." "I feel I can bank on you." "Am I right?" "I hope so." "What do you say?" " I'll find a translator." "We don't want a translation." "We want a Danish version." "And isn't sex just the Danes' cup of tea?" "Yes, it is." "I'm more involved in serious literature ..." "Jack Høst ..." "Ah, "Kamma's Hybrid"." "Do you think it's good?" "Sometimes one publishes things that aren't perfect." "To get the writer started." " Not with me as captain." "Rasmus, come here." "I've great respect for you and your work   but right now we're going coldly for gold ... and that's it." "Are you in the team?" "Yes, you are!" "I knew I could count on you!" "Get started right away." "And that Høst easy reader ..." "You'll be stopping it." " I promised him ..." "Is there a contract?" " No, we write those afterwards." "Then it's no problem." "Listen, Rasmus,   what's it going to be?" "Mobster?" "No, Rasmus, not mobster." "Monster!" "Hey, Rasmus ..." ""Don't forget the gold!"" "OK?" "Thanks." "Great." "Take care now." "I ought to resign to support you, Per." "I ought to resign." " We have to think of Jack." "We can't let him down." " That's what I was thinking." "If you could get me some consulting work?" "Freelance?" "I'd be grateful." "Of course." " What about my advance?" "I'm off to play pool." " I'm coming." "I'll find something for you." "Elin ... could we give Jack an advance of 12 000?" "Any payments have to be approved by King Karl." "But we have the staff kitty." " Good show!" "There's almost 1600." " It's for the staff outing." "I doubt if anyone's in the mood." "I'll get it." "Phone Bolette." "She keeps phoning." "I'll go to her flat right away." "What's this?" "What do I want loose change for?" "It's until the Swede calms down." "And it is 1600." "The Swede doesn't want to publish my book, isn't that the way it is?" "The Swede couldn't give a shit about Jack Høst, right?" "It might take a while before we can proceed." "But you can spend the time writing a bit more." "Didn't we agree that the book was finished?" "And you promised me an advance of 12 000." "I'll sort it out." " Right." "Coming in?" "Or are you off to propose to Bolette?" "I'm just giving her some flowers, all right?" "A special strength lager." "I've got a young man." "It's about a lizard." "That's what he said." "The vet'll be here in a moment." "Are you the chap with the lizard?" "Yes, but ... there was another vet yesterday." "I took yesterday off." "I normally do reptiles." "But the other vet looked at this particular lizard." "Maria?" "Who took my shift yesterday?" " Emilie ..." "Emilie Jackson." "That's right." "She'll be here tomorrow." "You'll have to make do with my lowly help today." "Oh ... it doesn't matter." "It wasn't very important." "Goodbye ..." "I went to the office to say I was going back ... but then ..." "Hello." "Hello." "You're here?" " Yes." "I came to get my schedule." "What have you come for?" " To ask you ... about Kamma." "My friend's lizard." "We came yesterday ..." "I remember." " And I was going to ask ..." "A Bearded dragon like that ..." "Can it catch   barber's itch?" "It's got these white spots ..." "I was wondering if it ..." "If it is because of ..." "Special strength lager." "That's what he gives it, right?" "Yes, that's right, of course." "Actually I had another question." "Are you busy?" "We can walk to the car park." " Yes." "Oh?" " They're just ... flowers." "Is it that way?" " Yes." "You do look after your friend." "You took time off work." "You worry about a pet." "Not many people do that." "Well, he is my friend." "So I see." "I've been told to put him on ice for a while." "And to write a guide." "A guide?" " Yes, about sex." "Oh, it's very serious." "It's not like that." "I have an idea ... do you know Per?" "The reference book editor?" ""Birds in Colour"?" "Yes, I know him well." "The boss has sacked him and I promised him some consulting work." "He could do the sex guide." "Because then I could ..." "Thaw Jack out again?" " Exactly." "We'd be back on track." "You sound like a busy man." "And an honest one." "Thanks ..." "Well, the barber's itch thing was a lousy story .." "I thought it was really good." "But I must be going." "Here!" "Thanks." "Shall I close your door?" " Yes, please." "I was wondering if you felt like going out for dinner tomorrow?" "That's kind of you." "But it's not really me just now." "Everything's a bit ..." "And I've got to go to work." "Thanks anyway." "'Bye." "Hi, Bolette!" "Bolette?" "We've got to talk ..." "Bolette?" "We've got to talk ..." "Pardon?" " We've got to talk ..." "I'm sorry, baby, but I'd love to finish this humus, if that's OK." "I know it's hard for you to give up your flat." "I know it's a big decision." "Not just for you but for me." "Yes?" "Sometimes one just has to be brave and make the leap." "We'll manage." "And we love each other, yes?" "Yes?" "What's up?" "We've got to talk ..." " We are talking." "We're talking to each other." "We're going to make a little Rasmus or Rasmine." "It's the perfect time." "I'm ovulating." "Can't we wait till tomorrow?" " I'm lecturing on the mainland." "The day after?" "I'll be ready." "Go on, then!" "Rasmus speaking." " It's Emilie." "Is it a bad moment?" "Um ... yes, you might say so." "They changed my shift so if you'd still like to go out to dinner?" "It's a deal." " Is something wrong?" "Yes, absolutely." "Is it all right?" " Yes, it's a deal, OK." "OK." " Goodbye." "Hey, you're completely spaced out." "What?" "It's not our usual thing." " I'll give Per a hand." "It's certainly a subject that interests people." "What is it they say?" ""Sex has come to stay"." "... Oh, there are ladies present ..." "Hi, Rasmus." "Things going well?" "Yes, they are." "Monster." "They're fine." " How's our rescue act going?" "And Høst has been ...?" " It's a bit sensitive." "Sensitive?" "Rasmus, you're at work." "We'll start the book." " I'll help Per." "It'll make a guide if it's not too vulgar." "I suggest we change the cover." " Great." "Do you think it's good for her?" "That?" " Yes." "It may be ... may I hold it?" "Yes, because ..." "That really is ..." " It looks like ..." "Something one could try out ..." "This evening?" "Aren't you going to the mainland?" "I cancelled it because I thought our little date was more important." "Maybe you don't think so?" "What have you got on?" "A meeting." " You hadn't forgotten our date?" "No, no, of course not." " We'll need a thermometer." "Will you buy one?" " A thermometer?" "For measuring the temperature in my vagina, of course." "Is fish all they've got?" " At Thorsen's Fish Restaurant?" "Don't you like fish?" " What?" "Oh, I love it." "I'm just so hungry I can't eat anything." "You can eat, though." "Why didn't you tell me you had an allergy?" "I thought ... it was a bit difficult." "When the vet looked so lovely." "Thank you." "How did you meet?" "You and Jack?" "It's a long story." "I was a bookseller's son." "Or rather, dad worked in a bookshop." "But he left to become a seaside postcard salesman." "So you're a seaside postcard seller's son." "Yes." "The cards are sold from stands." "Dad sold them, too." "So actually you are a seaside postcard stand seller's son." "Dad bought the stands second hand." "He repaired them and sold them." "I delivered them." "One day I went to an antiquarian bookseller's." "That's where I met Jack." "He was reading his poetry." "I was moved." "I began to cry." "And there I stood with my silly stands ..." "Shall I read you one?" "In my room, in a holiday home, in a tent,   in an outrigger canoe in Tasmania,   on top of Ayers Rock, even on a plane." "But a rusty iron crate 25 metres above the ground ..." "There I've never had a poem read to me." "It's up there." "You said I could So I did" "Took hold quickly With both hands" "Of both sets of teeth Pulled up and down so hard" "That something snapped inside I stuck my whole little head" "Into your huge mouth" "With its now such Terribly narrow lips" "That they cracked in places" "And the lipstick peeled off Like skin beneath the sun." "Jack hates it when I read his stuff aloud." "I don't." "What's the magazine?" "It isn't a magazine." "It's "Tumor"." "A manifesto against established literature." "We published it with your father." "1989?" "I was at a girls' school in London." "You did?" "I rebelled by turning my school uniform inside out." "You did?" " It was serious." "I got a black mark." "I almost didn't get into veterinary college because of it." "Oh, yes ..." "Do you want a toke?" "It gives me paranoia." "Best not, then." "So you went to London and became a vet?" "And then to Australia and ..." "And now I'm here." "With a bloke called Rasmus." "In a container." "Smoking pot again." "What are you laughing at?" "I didn't think girls like you smoked pot." "Oh?" "All right, let me try." "Hello?" " Hi, it's me." "Is that Jack?" " Just a second." "Bolette?" "Hello?" " No need to shout." "I'm right here." "What ... what ..." "what are you doing here?" "What are you?" " I was finding Jack's poem." "Rasmus?" "What have we got here?" " Nobody." "Nobody." "You're shagging "nobody" in the container?" "Hi!" "I don't believe we've been introduced." "I'm Bolette." "Emilie." "It's just that I forgot my key." "Could I borrow yours?" "What?" " Your key." "It's in my bag ..." "You write the Herdis the Witch books, right?" "Yes ..." "I also write poetry." "It's a really good series." "Have you any children?" " No." "Nor have I." "I just think it's really original." " Yes." "Thanks." "Want a drag?" " No, thanks." "It makes me paranoid." "Here." " Thanks." "Oh, I've got mine!" "No need to intrude, then.." "See you at home, yes?" "Nice to meet you, Emilie." "'Bye-bye." "I'll be off." "I'll be off again." "She's very nice." " Yes." "She's incredibly self-disciplined in her work." "Do you live with her?" " What?" "I'm her ..." "lodger." "My flat's being renovated." "Oh?" "She's ..." "Jack's ex girlfriend." "OK ..." "I was also her boyfriend." "Before or after Jack?" "After." "Theoretically I am actually still her boyfriend." "But I've got to talk to her." "It's no good any more." "I've got to." " Sounds like a good idea." "I'd like to go down again." "I was thinking ..." " Back down to earth." "Can I phone you tomorrow?" " I'm on duty." "The day after?" " I've got a date." "Oh. 'Bye." "Bjerre's daughter?" "So you wanted the princess and half the kingdom." "You and I have made several major decisions lately." "And now you need to get out there and feel young again   before you dare to make the commitment and grow up." "We weren't doing anything." " Do you know what?" "It's an affair." "And our relationship can take it." "Men are just like that, yes?" "I understand." "Bolette!" "You and I have agreed to have a baby, yes?" "Yes." " That's all that matters to me." "She looked very sweet." "Is she a country girl?" "Is she an actress?" "Or a photographic m ..." "Is she a doctor?" "Oh, I got it!" "She's a doctor?" "She's a vet." " Is she ... how pathetic!" "How can you stand a girl like that?" "Did you find her in Mills  Boon?" "We went out to dinner, that's all." " And then up to the container?" "What for?" " To read her one of Jack's poems." "The pulling poem?" "The pulling poem is entitled "The heartrending unbearability"." "It's a dreadful poem." "But it grabbed me just like all the other girls Jack pulled." "You got a vet into the container to get into her knickers   by reading one of Jack's lousy pulling poems?" "OK, get out." "Get out, I said." "Get out." "Get out!" "Get out." " Yes." "Oh, yes   the thermometer ..." "Bjerre's, Rasmus speaking." " It's me." "I just wanted to say goodnight." "Goodnight." " How about a goodnight kiss?" "Kiss, kiss." "Good night." " Good night." "The Femidom, popularly known as the condom for women,   is a soft membrane that covers the v ... vagina and labia." "At the base is a thing ..." " Ring." "Maybe I am from Sweden." "But that stuff doesn't turn me on." "It's anti-monster." " You'll improve it, eh, Per?" "It'll be much better." "There's the femidom, condom, mission   ary position, pony position, swing position ..." "That's when you're suspended with one partner on the swing   with a dildo or a p ..." "Excuse me!" "If it's OK by you, Per and ..." "Elin, I' d like a word   with Rasmus." "Of course." "I'll send you chapter two in the morning." "Can you wait a day or two, Per?" " Is it too flashy?" "... We can look on the Internet ..." "Spot on." "Ship ahoy!" " Rasmus!" "Shut that door!" "What is Per doing on my sex project?" "He's been sacked." "Given time I'm sure it'll be good." " Lose Per." "Lose him." "I want this sex project on the road." "Stockholm is waiting." "Find somebody else." "It may help ordinary people to have decent sex lives." "That sounds disgusting." " Maybe it's a bad idea, then?" "OK." "Will you do it?" "Great." "I'll be able to do Jack's book." "We'll do it together." "The sex book." " I've got to do "Kamma's Hybrid"." "I'm not doing it without you." "It'll have to be turned around." "Those colours suck." "This is great." "Rasmus, Bolette, it's monster." "Juicy stuff." "How far have you got?" "We're on chapter 2." " Chapt ..." "Fucking brilliant!" "We're on the road, Rasmus." "Yes!" "Yes!" "The big bosses in Stockholm will love it." "I'll order us some nice supper." "So we can work through the evening." "Do you like sushi?" "I do." "Sex and sushi is monster." "Elin!" "Sushi!" "The big salmon menu!" "At some stage you have to tell people it's no good." "You have to." "But then you have to find the right moment." "Cheers." "I can't figure this out." "What does "Buschfeuer" mean?" ""Buschfeuer"?" "I'll look it up." "Buschfeuer ..." "Buschfeuer, Buschfeuer, let me see ..." "Buschfeuer ..." "Rasmus?" "It means bush fire." "Fire in the undergrowth." " It's a bit far-fetched." "Let me see ..." "No, we're going to have to change that." "But it'll have to wait till tomorrow." "We're certainly getting some work done, yes?" "Because we know each other so well, of course." "Let me ..." "I know one like that ..." " Bolette!" "One that's much better." "Come on, we've got a date." "I help you with the book and ..." "You don't want to." "You don't want to." "I hate myself." "I'm not the one you're mad about." " Don't start that." "Don't, don't start that." "It's Jack." "Jack?" "That ridiculous, burnt-out, pathetic prat?" "I hate the bastard, I do." "I hate the bastard." ""Psychedelic superhero" was 202 poems I wrote about Jack." "Before he went mad." "So off she went and I spent the night here again." "Jack's the genius, after all." "Bolette's always been obsessed with him." "Jack can't have kids because of his drinking." "So Bolette picked me." "My plan   was to get Jack to write again." "Then he'd have stopped drinking." "And Bolette would have all the babies by Jack she dreamed of." "Some plan ..." "but what's the plan for Emilie?" "It's hopeless." "I've blown that plan right from the start." "She's got another date tonight." "With her father." "It's Emilie's birthday." "Her thirtieth." "They're celebrating at their cottage." "Oh?" " Yes." "Emilie just phoned to ask if Bjerre could give her a lift." "But he won't be coming in today." " Really?" "Cars are so unreliable." "Staffan's wouldn't start today   so he had to take a taxi to the airport." "He didn't even wait for the AA man, who opened the door at once." "So we've got Staffan's car?" " Staffan's?" "It's the company's." "Rasmus!" "Rasmus!" "Hi!" "What's wrong?" "Our dad's ill." "He lives in Barcelona and we can't afford to visit him." "We spent all our cash on new flowers." "Nobody'll buy them." "Right?" "Happy birthday!" " Thanks." "I heard your car had broken down so maybe I can give you a lift   to your date?" "I'm sorry about the other day." " No need." "It was nice." "I'd have told you." "I would." "It's just rather hard to say "Hi, my name's Rasmus,   and I've got a girlfriend and it's not working out"." "Can't you tell when one has to say things like that?" "Sometimes I can't tell till it's too late." "And then I wondered if it might not be too late?" "You've bought flowers." " I know the flower sellers." "Their dad is ill in Spain ..." " Hi, Jack!" "I want a word with my editor." " Not right now." "Yes, right now." "We've no food." "It's a lousy moment." " We're starving to death." "I've got lots of food." "This fellow insisted on having you." "And this is for the driver." "Gee up!" "Let's beat it." "Emilie, I want to give you a poem." "You said I could So I did" "Took hold quickly With both hands" "Of both sets of teeth Pulled up and down so hard" "That something snapped inside I stuck my whole little head" "Into your huge mouth" "With its now such Terribly narrow lips" "I pulled so much cunt with that poem!" "Yes, it's effective." "We're here." "Supper time!" " It was meant to be a surprise." "So we're having a party after all!" "Happy birthday." "I'm making supper." "Come on in!" "And you, Jack." "You must open my present, too." " I must." "Thanks." "I wonder what it is?" "Goodness! "Birds in Colour"!" "The original proof." "I really appreciate it." " "Here comes the cake ..."" "How lovely!" "Candles, too!" " Happy thirtieth birthday." "Thanks, Daddy." "Excuse me .." "I've a package for Emilie Jackson." "Is this the place?" "Yes." "That's lucky, because it's come all the way from Australia." "Goodbye, then." "Aren't you going to open it?" " No, not for now." "But it's from so far away!" "It's up to Emilie." " Open it!" "Open it!" "In that case I'll have to." "Diamonds! "A girl's best friend!"" " Now, now, Per!" "We're out of here." " No, Jack." "Wait a moment." "What's wrong?" " She was given diamonds." "Yes." "But from Australia!" "You idiot!" "Is there anything I can do?" "They're from my husband." "Oh?" "I've just left him." "Why?" "I caught him with his pants down with another woman for the 10th time." "OK?" "And I've just found out I'm carrying his baby." "It's really nice that you're here." "Just a second ..." "Stop!" "Easy now!" "What are you doing?" "You're pissed!" "You can't drive." " Want to bet?" "Emilie, I'll be back in a moment." "Come here." "Drink it!" "I know you're mad about Emilie." "But give Bolette that baby!" "A whisky." "On the mouse." "It'll be a great kid." "Bolette's so beautiful   and I can't do it." "Promise you'll give her that baby!" "We can't all just become extinct." "A whisky!" "Don't do a runner." "Give her that baby." "Say you will." "Mouse says yes, right?" "Maybe ..." " There's no maybe about it." "Jack ..." "I'll talk to her." "I've got to go." "No, you mustn't go." "I need you, mouse." "We'll have a whisky." "Two whiskies!" "We've got a press conference in the morning." "Come on, drink!" "While we wait a bit longer for our literary contribution ..." "Rasmus!" "Rasmus!" "What are you doing?" "Come on!" " Here's our literary editor." "Now we can continue." "Rasmus?" "Rasmus, I need a beer." "May I introduce my friend Jack Høst." "Rasmus ..." "Hold Kamma a moment." "I'd like to recite ..." " That jerk will ruin everything." "From my "White Darkness"." " Thank you very much." "That was a taste from this company's past." "Let me present our new series of guides, "Life and Lust"." "A sex guide for grown-ups." "Watch out as I pull the ribbon ..." "Is it good?" "Yes it is." "And our two sex experts." "Rasmus Skovgaard and Bolette G ..." " Jensen." "Two people who really know ..." " Rasmus ..." "You owe me 10,000." " Where's my inhaler?" "The two sex experts seem to have left us." "Rasmus?" "What are you doing?" " I dropped it." "You must take Emilie if that's what you want." "She's pregnant." " Already?" "Pregnant?" "How?" " Her husband." "Ex husband." "That's fine, then." " What do you mean?" "If she's having this Australian baby   you can help me." "Just put some semen into this test tube." "Go on, mouse." "You can do it here." "I'll turn my back." "Go on, mouse." " Bolette, damn it!" "You promised." "If you've been messing around you can help me." "I can't do it with a stranger." "You know I get vaginismus." "What?" " Cramp." "Please, mouse!" "If you help me I'll never bother you again." "Really!" "You're the only person who can help me." "Here." "Come on, do it." "Shall I help?" " No." "Emilie?" "What are you doing?" "It was ..." "What kind of person are you?" " Listen ..." "No, thanks." "I don't want anything to do with you." "Don't be so snooty!" "Not when you've been banged up by an Aussie." "Beer." "Fucking hell, there are no more special strength lagers." "Because you can't afford to buy any, Jack." "But you will have." "I'll write a cheque   and you pull your fingers out of your pockets and start writing." "Here!" "You're sacking me?" "You think you can sack me?" "Yes." "Is there anyone upstairs?" "Jack?" " Jack drank some cleaning fluid." "How do books end?" "I don't know." "I don't want to know." "They know." "Thank you." " What did they say?" "Thank you." " What did they say?" "He'll make it." "Has he come round?" " Not yet." "But he will." "Shall we go and see him?" " They said wait." "So ..." "Where are my clothes?" "I bought you new ones." "Much better." "Come here." "It's a lovely colour on you." "Really perky." "It suits you, yes?" "Come on, Staffan is waiting." "Then we'll have a nice, unstructured day." "Perfect." "Thanks." "What fantastic PR!" "I've something to show you." "What monster interior design, right?" "You've earned it, Rasmus." "I saw you sack Jack." "That was the real Rasmus." "Rasmus proved he had it in him." "Rasmus is growing." "And as your reward you can have literature back." "Aren't you pleased?" "What about the sex guides?" " Bolette's taking them over." "Yes." " Don't even think about them." "Try your new chair." "Look!" "It tips!" "Monster, right?" "What do you think?" "Where's my poster?" "Where has my poster gone?" "Rasmus, you sacked him!" "You were monster, Rasmus!" "I told Stockholm, "That Rasmus is one hell of a guy, give him a rise!"" "Turn that damned phone off!" " Bolette speaking." "We'll come at once." "The hospital." "Jack's come round." "Fine. 'Bye-bye." "Rasmus .." " You haven't asked how he is." "He is dying." " He's been dead for years." "Drop him." "Are you going?" "I'm talking to you!" "I can't stay here." "I'm handing in my notice." "You don't hand in your notice." "I hand you your notice." "You've got 10 seconds to clear your desk, you ... child!" "Growing up is about choosing what you want and don't want." "We all have to go through it, I know." "But it would be nice not to have to." "Once in a while." "Is he going to die?" " Yes." "Maybe not this time." "But unless he stops drinking he won't last long." "I can't be bothered to cry over the jerk." "Is she Jack's ..." " His ex." "I'm ..." "Oh, you're Jack's?" " No, I'm Bolette's boyfriend." "Or I was." "But she's mad about him." " Good." "Or ..." "Catch you later." "The lizard in the sink will have to go." "Yes, of course." "It's always been Jack." "He's always been the one." "But I thought that with everything so hopeless   you and me could have the baby." "Yes?" "I'll be down in ten minutes." "We could have been together, all three of us." "Jack loves kids." "You and me wouldn't have to be an item." "You could just live in my flat and we could ..." "I thought it was a very good plan." "It's a fine plan." "But it's just not my plan." "What do you want to do?" " I'm going to have to find out." "I'm sorry." "Jack?" "I'm right beside you." "Jack?" "He'll make it." "Can I help you?" " Can you give these to Jack Høst?" "Jack Høst?" "... These came." "Thanks." "Emilie?" "!" "This joker's got to go." "Now." "Of course." "Hey!" "Emilie!" "Emilie!" "Let me explain ..." "Kamma!" "Kamma!" "Oh, Kamma!" "How could you, Rasmus!" "Can I just say one thing?" " OK." "One." "What I wanted to say was ..." "Maybe I don't know much about ..." "About ..." "But one thing I do know." "If anybody asked me if I could imagine life without you " " I'd simply say ..." "I'm sorry, it's my allergy." "I'm sorry, but I ..." " You haven't got an allergy." "Not to animals." " I have!" "Ever since Jack got Kamma." "Furless animals don't cause allergies." "What?" "There may be lots else wrong with you, definitely." "But not allergies." "Why didn't you say so?" "I thought you wanted to say something to me." "Yes." "I wanted to say ..." " Yes?" "I wanted to say that   if anyone asked me if I could live without ... .. waking up beside you   for the rest of my life ..." "I'd   I'd say "no"." "Yes, that's what I'd say." "I'd simply say "no"." "It's a quality terrarium in aluminium and glass." "Two vents ensure ventilation." "There's a heated rock, too." "Quite essential." "What do you think?" " We'll take it." "Do you send things way out into the country?" "It's for a friend." "My name is Thomas and I'm an alcoholic." "My name is Bent and I'm an alcoholic." "Our names are Jack and Kamma and we're alcoholics." "There's life in it?" " Yes." "And it's his sperm?" "Jack Høst's?" " Yes." "Definitely." "Does anyone else want to leave?" "Anyone else want the sack?" "Just speak up." "You can all go." "Jack and me were so ..." "We read poetry aloud with razor blades on our tongues." "I've written 15 books." "One wasn't bad." "One was good at making people angry." "One was good for sales." "One was good for lighting fires." "And there was one that was   well written." "A good book." "And I think there'll be another." "Some people have morning sickness." "Some crave liquorice." "I crave apples." "Things that I was really sure of ..." "There weren't many." "But there are now." "Actually there are a lot."