"'Health is the greatest of God's gifts." "'But we take it for granted." "'It hangs on a thread as fine as a spider's web." "'And the smallest thing can make it snap, 'leaving the strongest of us helpless in an instant." "'And in that instant, hope is our protector, 'and love, our panacea.'" "What can I get you today?" "Hello, dear." "WOMAN:" "Frank?" "Frank!" "Frank!" "I swear, you'd forget your head!" "Try and get something down you, yeah?" "Right." "Right, Tip, look after him." "All right, Peggy." "If you want to be a fish man, Tip, you've got to learn how to buy." "I wouldn't give that to my dog!" "Oi!" "One and ninepence?" "You're havin' a laugh!" "Go on!" "Have a pint of oysters." "Looking fresh as a daisy, Elsie." "Unlike your fish." "Oh, here's trouble." "Poison, pure poison!" "Disappointed again, Frank?" "I wonder quite why you bother coming... every day." "The early bird might catch the worm, but he don't pay for it till later." "Then he gets it half-price." "Oh, that'll be lovely tonight." "There you go." "Perfect." "Morning, Peggy." "Morning, Nurse Lee." "Ooh, it's hotter than abroad out there." "Still, can't complain." "Flowers are loving it." "I forgot to ask, how's your brother, Frank?" "Much better, thanks, Miss, he's on the salts." "Still?" "!" "Well, oyster poisoning can take an age, they say." "I'm sure Dr Turner would be more than happy to have a look at him." "Oh, he's not one for sawbones, Miss." "No, it's nothing home cooking and a bit of spoiling won't cure." "GRUNTING" "Catch it, Peg!" "I'm not even going to ask what you're doing with a pig in the middle of Poplar!" "Bacon!" "It's the future!" "PIG SQUEALS" "Peggy, what's the matter?" "The floor's all filthy again, Miss." "Oh, don't worry about that!" "It's like dust." "Leave it long enough and you stop noticing." "CAR HORN BEEPS" "Fancy a lift?" "!" "I think it would be safer to walk!" "What on earth are you doing with that old heap?" "!" "Shh!" "She's terribly sensitive!" "She?" "!" "I'll forgive you, but only because I know you'll grow to love her." "Will I?" "I expect you to fall more in love with every drive." "Go on." "Be off with yous." "SHE MUTTERS" "Dabs and sprats." "Nonnatus daily special." "Only the best!" "SHE MUTTERS:" "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry." "I tried!" "Peg?" "Peg, what's up, girl?" "I'm sorry." "The workhouse is long gone for us." "There's only people here who care about you, Peg." "About the both of us." "So, I finished my rounds and I thought we could walk home along the river." "Get the breeze." "Really?" "Already?" "Free as a bird." "Morning, ladies!" "Are we well?" "ALL:" "Morning, Doctor." "It's a bit like a piano scale..." "CHILDREN SHOUT AND LAUGH ... with little Bertie there." "The result of the crescendo." "I haven't thought of it quite like that, but keep it in mind at next week's contraceptive session." "A few less crescendos?" "A few less results." "I just feel we should make them aware that they have a choice." "And that God's place is in the church, not the marital bed." "Look, it's a bit much for me to say where our Lord should be." "I'm not expecting you to start a revolution, Nurse Browne." "But if you did, I wouldn't hold it against you." "Can't catch me, I'm the fastest!" "Yes, I can!" "Elsie, you really must try and keep these appointments." "That's three in a row you've missed." "Tide don't wait for man nor baby." "While there's fish to catch, me and me old man will catch 'em." "Sorry, girls." "Eels." "They do tend to linger somewhat." "Oh!" "They certainly do." "Sorry." "Always had this thing about fish." "Ever since my brother dropped me in a rock pool." "Good job my old man don't." "It's like garlic." "As long as you're both on it, you don't notice." "Let's hope that baby likes it too, because he or she is most certainly not far off." "You need to rest, Elsie." "I don't want that filthy thing anywhere near me!" "Well, you needn't worry, she's very particular about her company." "What a team we're going to make, eh?" "Your beauty and my brains and the price of bacon sky-high!" "Oh, you know, bacon isn't popped out like an egg, Fred." "This IS the bacon, so don't be getting sentimental now." "Me?" "!" "Strictly business and no mistake!" "Well, there's no mistake about one thing." "You've got a lot more pig than you bargained for!" "She's pregnant." "Oh, give me strength, O Lord!" "Not more of those things!" "Oh!" "Cloth, Frederick, now!" "Dogs look up to us, cats look down on us." "Pigs treat us as equals!" "Oh." "I should get on." "That oven's crying out for a clean." "And here's me lying back like Gloria Swanson all afternoon!" "We're on our holidays, Peg, just for the day." "Think of this as Paris." "And that river over there, well, that's the Seine, ain't it?" "How is it you always know just how to make everything better?" "To Frank." "Nicest fellow I know!" "And the one with the biggest head." "I've known you longer than anyone else in the world." "Maybe that's got something to do with it." "It's the sitting down." "Don't suit you." "I need to get those vines in." "We shall have our own wine next year, Peggy, my dear." "That's a promise now?" "HE GRUNTS" "Frank?" "Frank?" "Frank!" "Sorry, it's an emergency!" "'Nonnatus House, Sister Bernadette speaking.'" "It's my Frank!" "He's took bad!" "Please, Sister, please come quick!" "Dr Turner is making arrangements for Frank to be seen at the London." "You do understand, Peggy, Frank must be seen as soon as possible?" "Thank you." "I won't go in no institution." "It's a hospital." "Not a mortuary!" "You'll have to drag me there." "Work your magic, please, Peggy." "If there's a choice, I'd rather not drag him there, but if needs must." "There's nothing wrong with a bit of gut pain, it's nothing wrong with me!" "I'm telling you!" "Good." "Then we won't have to worry about the results, will we, when you go in?" "Dr Turner has asked me to take the contraceptive clinic." "But nobody's here." "We must have got in a muddle over our days." "Never mind." "No point in carrying coals to Newcastle!" "I suppose onward with the antenatal!" "CHATTER AND LAUGHTER" "The Yanks reckon they got a pill stops you getting in the family way." "That's Hollywood for you." "Full of happy endings." "Give us a pill that makes fellas do the washing up!" "Or something useful like drowning!" "I hope they're not expecting juggling." "No balls, you see." "Metaphorically, of course!" "Chummy, let me take the session." "No, wouldn't dream of it." "Dr Turner's tasked me for a reason." "And they say there's no such thing as average." "Good morning, ladies." "My old man wouldn't know whether to smoke it, eat it or shine his shoes with it!" "LAUGHTER" "Today is about understanding your prophylactic." "Do you mean johnnies?" "!" "LAUGHTER" "Prophy... what?" "!" "Didn't know we was learning Latin!" "There's me thinking you'd be making ME money!" "I'll be spending more on feed than I'll be making!" "Here." "Here!" "Only the best for you, girl." "Don't let on, eh!" "If it helps you to get your husband to wear one and reduce the number of unexpected little miracles then johnnies it is." "Have you even seen one, lovey?" "Maybe I should go over there." "I have seen..." "I have seen many things, Mrs Leonard!" "I have seen the horrors of eclampsia with convulsions so violent, bones broke." "Standing on the toes, was you?" "!" "Button it!" "Let her talk!" "Aww!" "I have seen breech births where one wrong move, one moment's delay, would cut off baby's oxygen." "I have drawn mucus from the lungs of newborns who would otherwise have choked to death." "And I have seen the utter joy that only childbirth can bring." "So, please." "Please don't doubt that I have seen enough to have earned the right to speak to you today." "I'm just saying, it goes against God." "It's stopping what's natural." "If God hadn't wanted their use, he wouldn't have created rubber." "It too is entirely natural." "Now... taking your penis, or rather your husband's...!" "LAUGHTER" "Of course, we wouldn't expect you to maintain this level of audience whilst experimenting with your prophylactic." "The reservoir goes at the top." "This is where the semen will be held." "Looks like a tiny sombrero, really!" "Ole!" "Constable." "Camilla." "Peter." "How lovely." "I was passing, so I thought I'd drop in." "There's been some thefts in the area." "I thought you should be alert with regard to security." "Thefts?" "Well, a few shopkeepers have had some losses." "It looks like the work of a chancer, but best be on guard." "Tell the girls not to leave their handbags and the like lying around." "And my mother would very much like you to come for tea." "I should like that very much." "I'll telephone you with a date." "(And, um..." "I'd be very grateful if you didn't bring that thing.)" "Oh!" "Quite!" "SHE SQUEALS" "RADIO: 'Go to the industrial towns." "'Go to the farms." "'And you will see a state of prosperity such as we have never had in my lifetime." "'Or, indeed, in the history of this country." "'Indeed, let us be frank about it." "Most of our people have never had it so good.'" "Nurse Lee." "Good morning." "Is Peggy in?" "She's just inside." "Are you in a terrible hurry?" "He feels terrible about bothering you all." "Everyone being so kind and concerned." "Strong as an ox, my Frank." "Don't you worry about that." "Peggy." "Frank's suffering cancer of the pancreas." "Pancreas, you said?" "We'd like to begin a series of radium treatments." "Well, it's not like his stomach or his liver, is it?" "More like an appendix." "Well, you hear about people doing without their appendix every day." "Ain't that right, Nurse Lee?" "Dr Turner hopes the radium treatment will stem the cancer." "Hopes?" "The quicker we move on this, the better your brother's chances." "I'd like him to stay in the London during the treatment." "It just makes things easier and better for Frank." "No." "He won't stay in there." "He don't like institutions." "We'd have to carry him in, feet first." "You must try and persuade him, Peggy." "As an inpatient," "Frank can be assured the very best care." "He will need it." "I'm telling you." "He won't stay anywhere, except his home." "PEGGY:" "You're doing it for me, Frank." "You've got no choice." "Mr Hobson." "Would you like to come through?" "THEY SING HYMNS" "Life everlasting." "PHONE RINGS" "Nonnatus House, Nurse Lee speaking." "MAN: 'Jenny?" "Is that Jenny Lee?" "'I've tried not to call, but I needed to hear your voice." "'Jenny...'" "MATURE JENNY: 'His name was Gerald." "'He said he wanted to hear my voice." "'I did not want to hear his." "'It stirred too many memories." "Too much pain." "'His voice came from a place of broken rules, 'a time of love cut short." "'It was easier to silence it." "'Easier to hide." "'To fill my life with other people's stories.'" "Keep on with the cod." "We can't get rid of it fast enough." "But from next month, don't be having nothing to do with oysters." "No matter how hard old Billy tries to push 'em." "You'll be back on the stall by then." "That's right." "Enjoy your moment, Tip." "I'll have you back fetching and carrying before you know it!" "Frank's dying, Peggy." "Are you quite sure he shouldn't know?" "Been through that ruddy treatment for weeks." "Body's done in." "Cancer's still there." "He can't know that, Sister." "It would destroy him quicker." "Only thing that keeps him going is the thought he's beating it." "Frank's taken a turn." "I don't know what to do." "That's all right, Tip." "We'll look after him." "You go on, love." "Frank needs you on the stall." "HE COUGHS" "Radium treatment is never pleasant, but we're going to help you with the pain, Frank." "Morphia?" "So soon?" "It's a very low dose, Peggy." "But Dr Turner felt it was necessary." "How long do you reckon before I'm back?" "Not very long now, Frank." "I'd have done that, love." "It's quite all right, Peggy." "It's my job." "I happened to see the rest of the house today, Sister." "Extraordinary, isn't it?" "It was a shock." "Those prefabs are only ever expected to last four or five years." "I'm not talking about the prefab." "They share a bed." "Yet Peggy and Frank wouldn't trade theirs for a palace, everything just as they need it for their little bit of peace." "And Lord knows, they need it at the moment." "You know, don't you?" "That Frank is dying?" "That his sister will lose him?" "Or that love couldn't save either of them?" "But it has made them richer." "CHUMMY:" "Every time I feel exhausted," "I stop and imagine what a sad little porker's feeling." "Really, Chummy, you mustn't talk about Sister Evangelina like that!" "So, go on, Jen." "They're at it?" "All I know is they share a bed." "It's the quiet ones." "What did Sister Julienne say?" "She didn't." "She discussed the merits of prefabricated housing." "I wish my mother was that unshockable." "Well, I for one think Peggy's a spiffing girl and Frank had some of the finest dabs I've ever tasted." "Darling, no-one's doubting him on a marine level." "Just a moral one." "He's her brother!" "Oh!" "I imagine none of you girls has ever been inside a workhouse." "Actually, my grandpapa set up a holiday fund for children of the workhouse." "Fascinating, I'm sure." "They were designed to break the spirit." "Worse than dying." "That's what anyone who'd been in one said." "And Frank and Peggy would tell you the same." "They went in there when they were just little 'uns." "Mother and father dead, no-one to look after them, but Frank, only seven, he swore he could look after Peggy." "He fought everyone to keep them together, but the minute they went through those gates, they were torn apart." "Now, she cried every night, didn't know how to survive without him, and Frank, he never stopped looking for her." "So when he finally found her years later, it's not surprising they clung together for dear life." "Their love was the only good thing that ever came out of that place." "But, Sister, it's incest." "SHE EXHALES" "There was nothing left of family, the minute they walked through those gates." "Now, if you've got no work to do..." "You go on, I'd better check the phone." "I'm hoping perhaps I may receive a call of a personal nature." "I'm meeting Peter's ma." "Date of execution yet to be set." "If Peter thinks enough of you to meet his mother, I'm sure she'll love you too." "One little thing has been on the old mind a bit." "What does one wear in a mother-meeting situation?" "Nothing - not until you've checked with us first." "I do have rather a nice frock Mother's dressmaker made for me." "It would be a bit tight now, but..." "Nothing!" "Not until we've approved it." "CAR HORN BEEPS" "SHE LAUGHS" "It's absolutely wonderful!" "JIMMY:" "She!" "So, fancy getting out of the East End for a bit?" "I know a lovely little place in the country." "Yes." "Yes, I do." "I told you you'd fall more in love each time." "Ladies." "ALL:" "Hey!" "Oh, hello!" "Hello!" "No, no, you're with me, I'm afraid." "Chauffeur's perk." "♪ We'll be in heaven if you meet" "♪ Me on the corner tonight... ♪" "You look worn out." "I thought workhouses were the stuff of Dickens, but one of my patients grew up in one." "And he's never left it." "Not really." "It puts a roof over people's heads." "They didn't starve." "It's fate of birth, though, isn't it?" "We've been so lucky, Jimmy." "It's about being good people." "Frank and Peggy are good people." "If I'm not mistaken, you've finished work for the day." "So, we're officially trespassing?" "You always have to split hairs, don't you?" "JIMMY:" "What do you think?" "Look at it, it's amazing!" "THEY SQUEAL AND GIGGLE" "It's all getting frightfully hot." "And I, for one, want to take a dip." "Come on, we can always dry our drawers." "Hello." "I'm Chummy, delighted to meet you." "No." "Not Chummy." "Dignity, poise, presence." "Hello, I'm Camilla." "It's a delight..." "UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS" "SHOUTING AND LAUGHING" "MUSIC FADES" "Oh, it's so cold!" "I've got another friend who owns a bathhouse." "You're feeling brighter, aren't you?" "I knew you would." "I know you better than you think I do." "I can't, Jimmy." "SHE CHOKES" "SHE GASPS FOR BREATH" "I've got you, I've got you." "It's all right, I've got you." "I've got you, I've got you." "SHE COUGHS" "What's the matter?" "Breathe." "Jenny, have some air." "What's wrong?" "Asthma." "Cold water must have shocked her lungs." "Perhaps even the chlorine." "Get a rug, a jacket, anything that's warm." "Shh." "Thank you, Jimmy." "It's always been you, Jenny." "Always." "SHE SIGHS" "The shell must be broken before the bird can fly." "CLATTERING" "CHUMMY: (Fred?" ")" "It's for little Evie." "Something with a bit of cheer." "Only the stale ones, mind." "I didn't understand a word of that." "Evie, my pig." "I should want something other than just peelings if I was expecting." "The pig's called Evie?" "Fred, isn't that a little near the knuckle?" "No, I prefer to think of it as homage." "Then in honour of her namesake, I think we should set our culinary aims somewhat higher." "I haven't seen a thing." "I certainly haven't seen half a freshly baked Victoria sandwich." "And I certainly know nothing about that little crispy bit at the end that's just begging to be eaten." "I'll leave that bit for you!" "Fred?" "Am I the sort of girl a chap's mother would like?" "Well, if she didn't, she wouldn't be worth knowing." "DOOR OPENS" "You look as if you've had what Sister Evangelina calls" ""a day of trials and tribu-bleedin'-lations"." "Here, poured too much milk." "I just feel done in by it all." "I feel quite pointless today." "Jimmy is handsome, kind." "And he's mad about you." "And more importantly, he's in your life, not your past." "So, please, just forget this man you can't have." "That's just my trouble, I can't forget him." "He was everything to me, except mine." "He must have been amazing." "SHE SIGHS" "Just in case you're getting too used to being a gentleman of leisure, how about you try this?" "We're stuck." "Two words " ""A clock through the air."" "You've got until tomorrow." "I'm dying... ain't I?" "Frank, everyone has tremendous hope for you." "Don't tell her, love, will you?" "You and me both know what's what." "But I don't want my Peg knowing." "Not until she really has to." "For the moment, we can still have our times." "Peg can still read to me." "Little pleasures, love." "But they mean the world to both of us." "So let her keep that world, just as long as she can." "What do I do, Sister?" "How do I be without him?" "You draw strength from knowing that one day, you will meet him again." "If you will spare a moment, I would see it infinitely well spent." ""The sea green of the emerald - shining together in incredible union."" "Where in heaven did you find silk like this?" "It needs a thread or two, but not beyond your hands that fly like birds in spring." "It's absolutely perfect." "And it'll be you I have to thank." "Now, they said there would be gold and there would be silver and I should never have cause to wor..." "Shouldn't you be with your mother?" "I'm here with you." "Just as I should be." "PIG GRUNTS" "Fred, can I ask you a favour?" "Well, I won't lend money." "And I won't dance for your entertainment." "Other than that, ask away." "Could you give me some of your wonderful pig shit?" "I thought you'd never ask!" "For the vine." "It does wonders, apparently." "Oh!" "Let's have a look." "Oof!" "You can't buy that sort of quality." "Oh, you are kind." "Maybe we'll make wine after all, eh?" "There's a thought to keep us going." "Big and strong, that's how you'll grow." "My little vine." "I want first taste of anything half decent." "You look wonderful, Chummy." "Damn Peter's mother " "I approve!" "Always brings me luck." "SHE SNIFFS" "Oh!" "I might have guessed." "You and that flaming pig!" "She's started to drop." "Only this poor little fella didn't make it." "PIG GRUNTS" "We'll do what we can, Fred." "We're going to need hot water and clean towels." "Fred, now!" "TELEPHONE RINGS" "Come quickly, Chum." "It's Evie." "Fred, but..." "No, quick as you can." "Nonnatus House, midwife speaking." "FRED:" "Mind the steps." "Thought you were meeting your chap." "So did I." "You will save her, won't you?" "She's my responsibility, see?" "She's the only thing I've got what really needs me." "Daft old bugger!" "We've delivered half the babies in the parish." "We're not going to let a pig beat us." "Oh!" "It could be a very long night." "Then the more the merrier." "All hands on deck." "No." "No, we'll manage, Chummy, you go." "Not to worry." "I'm afraid my dress and I are already very much involved in this operation." "BELL RINGS" "CLEARS THROAT" "BELL RINGS" "Midwife, we're here!" "Please hurry." "I didn't like to move her." "She's sort of where she dropped, so to speak." "Are you all right, Miss?" "I can offer you tea - kippers, whelks even, if you haven't eaten." "As much hot water as you can manage." "And some towels." "WOMAN GROANS" "PANTING" "I'll fetch some more water." "Oh, Peter." "I'm so dreadfully sorry." "It's Fred's pig." "He's in an awful state and every time I think I can leave, we have another little sadness." "Seven so far." "I'm hoping I can sponge the worst of this off." "You look beautiful." "Now, tell me what you need from me." "Just you." "She'll be all right, Fred." "PIG GRUNTS" "Oh." "Baby's fine." "Oh, here." "Here." "Have some water." "You must think me an absolute fool." "Oh, I'm the same with chickens." "LAUGHS NERVOUSLY" "ELSIE GROANS" "Come on now, Elsie, one big push for me." "GROANS LOUDLY" "FRED CHUCKLES" "Oh!" "MATURE JENNY:" "'A dying person needs to have someone with them to hold their hand, 'stroke their forehead, 'whisper a few words.'" "PEGGY:" "I'm here, Frank." "It's all right, my love." "I'm here." "(He's gone.)" "SOBS GENTLY" "BABY CRIES" "Hey... are you hungry?" "Catch of the day." "Ain't he just?" "BABY CRIES Oh, dear." "You are welcome here any day, and you can have the best of our fish with our love and our thanks." "Oh, I couldn't possibly deprive you of your living." "Not with another mouth to feed." "It's a beautiful shroud, Peggy." "You knew, didn't you?" "We were more than brother and sister." "More than husband and wife even." "He come back for me." "He worked day and night to get the money to free me from that workhouse." "Said I'd never have to scrub again." "Course, by then, it's got its hold on you." "Got inside your head." "Having each other, though." "It was our little bit of perfect." "Don't call the undertakers before the morning." "If you want me to stay..." "I..." "I just want it to be him and me tonight." "Tip should have this." "Frank would want him to have it." "He's been like a son to us." "Good night, Peggy." "You will telephone us, won't you?" "If there's anything at all you need." "FRANK:" "Don't think of me as gone, my love." "I will always watch over you." "I will always keep you safe." "Evie" " I can't think of a more wonderful name." "Don't think this means I've forgotten about the cake." "Well, I'll bake you one myself." "Oh!" "I would rather you went to the baker's." "And you're wrong, you know?" "What you said before, about that pig being the only one that needs you." "I've given up bacon, just so you know." "Oh, what, in case I decide to cook you breakfast?" "PETER:" "Do you have any other dresses?" "Don't you like this one?" "I think it's wonderful." "But I don't think you'll get it clean tonight." "And my mother insists on meeting the woman I can't stop talking about." "FRED:" "She's bowled him over for a second time." "But this time without the bruises." "Don't count on it!" ""The only friend I ever had," cried Rose, clinging to her." ""The kindest, best of friends." ""My heart will burst." ""I cannot... cannot bear all this."" "CHILDREN LAUGH AND ARGUE" "Under the, er, flowerpot." "Peggy?" "Peggy?" "Hello?" "Oh, Lord!" "The morphine." "I shouldn't have left it." "I never dreamed..." "You could never have predicted this." "She couldn't live without him." "I should have thought!" "I should never have left her alone." "If we had stayed with her for every minute, she would have still been alone." "Without Frank, the world was too much for her." "Perhaps it always had been." "He was her safety, her rock to cling to." "Whatever we feel  she is at peace now." "Perhaps for the first time." "MATURE JENNY: 'Love permeated every nook and cranny, 'every corner and crevice of that little house." "'You could feel it as soon as you entered the front door." "'A presence so tangible you could reach out and touch it.'" "♪ I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood... ♪" "SHE SOBS" "♪ I know I could always be good" "♪ To one who'd watch... ♪" "I'm falling in love with you." "♪ ... over you... ♪" "What else do you want?" "That feeling..." "like you're drowning under the weight of it - love, passion." "Like you would die for each other." "That's the stuff of nonsense." "It's for novels and the pictures." "It's not real, Jenny." "What we can have, that's what's real." "A home, a family." "A good life together." "You think I haven't thought that, tried to make it enough?" "You are a wonderful man, Jimmy, and I..." "Everything in my brain is telling me that this is the right thing." "Then what else?" "My heart wants what it had before." "Before?" "What, this... phantom love?" "How could I not know?" "You look at me and there's someone else you want to see." "For me, it's just you." "So that's it?" "You're shutting yourself off to everything else because of something you can never have?" "We could have enough, Jenny." "Well, for a year, perhaps." "Before you realised you loved me more than I did you." "I would hate that." "My work, Jimmy  that's what I need to give myself to." "To these people?" "That's why you'll be my friend, but never my soul mate." "And we both deserve soul mates." "MATURE JENNY:" "'Peggy had found her escape 'from the horrors of her childhood through her work." "'Everything she touched she made more beautiful." "'She made perfect." "'She and Frank kept a world which had brutalised them both at bay, 'through a love so strong 'they created a new world, and it was their own." "'I played such a small part in their story, 'but their devotion showed me that there were not versions of love, 'there was only..." "love." "'That it had no equal and that it was worth searching for, 'even if that search took a lifetime.'" "Do you understand the nature of the charges brought against you?" "I do." "Oh, look, I'm in jail." "Hello, Sister Monica Joan!" "I want to meet your mother." "Hello, Mater." "If I may interject, Sister." "Who is this person?" "He is your barrister." "He's not very good." "Chummy, you aren't thinking of taking Holy Orders?" "It has presented itself as a solution." "Cathy?" "I rest my case."