"[MUSIC PLAYING]" "NARRATOR:" "This is the jungle." "The vast wilderness of giant, lush foliage..." "Of tropical birds and fierce animal life... the killer tiger... the cunning hyena... the deadly python that can crush a giant elk... the proud lion..." "A fierce lioness stalking her pray to feed her young." "And the buzzards... the scavengers of the jungle." "Soaring lower, ever lower, eager to devour the dead or the dying." "Kill or be killed... this is the law of the jungle." "And here... what have we here?" "Who are these men, and what could they possibly be doing in this cruel, tropical wilderness?" "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "Father, don't let him kill them." "No, no... [SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "No!" "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "[MUSIC PLAYING]" "Have you discover who is these men?" "Well not yet, Father." "Look, Father..." "I think one of them is named Mervyn." "Mervyn?" "Mervyn?" "Who said that?" "Which one of you is Mervyn?" "Aw, lady, you got us mixed up with two other guys. [LAUGHING]" "My name is Nona." "Hi-ya, Nona..." "I'm Duke Mitchell." "How you do?" "Where are we?" "What place is this?" "This is the most southern fringe of Zambians Group... the Island of Cola-Cola." "Cola-Cola?" "Sounds like a commercial for some bubble water... ha-ha." "How did we get here?" "Some of our men found you lying in the jungle and carried you here." "Yeah, what do we owe 'em for carrying charges?" "[LAUGHS] Get it... carrying charges... funny line..." "Let's laugh it up here, lady." "Oh..." "Come here." "How did you get lost in the jungle?" "Well we were on our way to do a show for the boys in Guam." "We were in a plane high over the Pacific." "Sammy goes to look for the powder room, and he couldn't find it." "I went there to show him." "I walked through the wrong door..." "like a dope he follows me." "Yeah..." "lucky thing we had our parachutes." "There we were..." "lost in a vast wilderness." "We lived on wild berries and raw fish." "It was much better than the raw fish living on us." "You have nothing to worry about." "My father, the chief, will see that you're well cared for." "Me, Chief Rakos..." "King of this island." "Well, gee... you sure look super," "Chief..." "Super Chief..." "Get it?" "[LAUGHS]" "Hi-ya, Chief..." "I'm Duke Mitchell." "This is my partner Sammy Patrillo." "You know Mitchell and Patrillo..." "Songs, Dances and Snappy Patter." "Have tuxedo, will travel... but not this far." "Welcome to our island." "We are honored." "Our house is yours." "Yeah, well remind me to get some now wallpaper in here, will ya?" "Shh!" "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "Tonight we have great luau... to celebrate you." "My people will sing and dance for you." "Gee, that sounds great." "We'll do likewise, I'm sure." "(SINGING) Ah, this wamba..." "To-do-do... shake it, toots, shake it... go..." "Go... go... dad... go." "Hey, cut it out." "Don't mind my friend." "He's young, He's foolish." "No doubt... come." "See that?" "You made the Chief mad." "That's OK, he wasn't a good dancer anyway." "You know some day I'm going to let you fry in your own grease." "Can you make it chicken fat, maybe?" "[DRUM MUSIC]" "Why are we eating off the floor?" "What's the matter..." "Can't they afford chairs?" "Shh [SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "Hmm?" "What's that?" "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "[MOCKING..." "MADE UP LANGUAGE] OK, bonga-bonga." "Since when do you talk a native language?" "I just started today." "Well, what did he say?" "What'd he say?" "I don't even know what I said." "No, don't hit me, Dukie..." "It hurts me in the head." "That's a wonderful dance they're doing." "My people are happy to entertain you." "Well Sammy and I really appreciate it." "Yeah, well I'd be more entertained if I had a pretty girl to talk you." "Yeah, why should Duke have all the meat and potatoes?" "Meat and potatoes?" "Don't mind my friend." "He speaks in a vernacular." "I do?" "Gee..." "I wanna girl just like the girl the other..." "That's easy..." "I'll call my sister." "You have a sister?" "Yes." "Oh boy... ha-ha." "Saloma?" "SALOMA:" "Yes?" "Come here." "Wow-wee, she's got a sister, and she's all for me, Dukie." "Yeah..." "lots of luck." "Yes?" "I have very nice friend for you." "Oh?" "See... the little one." "Dukie... and it's all for me..." "(WAILING) Dukie... no, no, no." "Oh, I like." "Go." "This is Saloma." "This is your sister?" "My baby sister." "Saloma, this is Samuel." "Well it's been nice knowing you." "So long, Salami." "Saloma like you." "Saloma think you beautiful." "Saloma needs glasses." "You eat." "I don't wanna eat, thank you." "You eat." "No, I told you I don't want to eat." "Hey Dukie, I gotta get away from this blimp or she'll kill me." "Well you asked for it." "I got it." "When locked in a corner, do a routine." "Go." "Great." "You eat." "Oh, that's what I get for... please..." "Would you let go of my shirt?" "What are you trying to feed me for?" "You're not my mother." "You can't feed me." "Saloma!" "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]." "Aw!" "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "After all, I've been eating for a long time." "I know how to feed myself." "I've been feeding myself ever since I was a little boy." "Do you understand?" "[DRUM MUSIC]" "Oh, well good evening, ladies and gentlemen." "And welcome to showtime at the Royal Tiasian." "And what a wonderful show we have lined up for you tonight." "You know... as you know, this is my first visit to your beautiful island of Cola-Cola." "And I want to tell you that the climate's wonderful." "It really makes a guy feel full of Pepsi." "Get it... cola-Pepsi..." "Pepsi-Cola?" "Ha-ha." "Gentlemen of the jury, I'd like to ask the prisoner one question." "Have you ever been up before Judge Schmidt?" "I don't know... what time does Judge Schmidt get up?" "[LAUGHS]" "You want to hear a funny one?" "On the way over the island, a fella stopped me at a coconut tree and he said, I haven't had a bite for three days." "You know what I did?" "I bit him." "[LAUGHS]" "What he say?" "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "[LAUGHTER]" "Ha!" "I knew you'd get on of them eventually." "(SINGING) All I ever mean in 'em... wow-wee." "Listen to this one..." "Listen to this one." "Did you take a bath this morning?" "Why is there one missing?" "[LAUGHTER]" "I thought I told you to wait in the truck." "You dance with Saloma?" "Aw, this is ridiculous..." "I got..." "Oh, come... dance." "You left your motor runnin', kid." "I don't want to dance with you." "You're breaking my arm." "Will you let go of my arm, already?" "Saloma!" "Wait..." "let go of me." "Don't get physical." "I [INAUDIBLE]." "Saloma!" "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "Don't hate me, please." "ARGH!" "Do you think, perhaps, she is too rough?" "Probably doesn't know her own strength." "Ahh-don't take me... ahh..." "Saloma?" "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "My father says, do you wish to dance for us?" "Well I don't dance, but I'll do eight or ten tunes for you." "Well that's fine." "All righty." "OK, fellas..." "let's wrap it." "You... now you... you." "(SINGING) Do I want you?" "Oh my do I. Baby, indeed I do." "Do I need you?" "Oh my do I. Baby, of course I do." "You know that I'm the one who found you." "That's why I'm always hanging around you." "Do I love you?" "Oh my do I. Baby, indeed I do." "Come on will ya?" "Saloma think you're beautiful." "(SINGING) Do I want you?" "Oh my do I. Baby, indeed I do." "Do I need you?" "Oh my do I. Baby, of course I do." "You know that I'm the one who found you." "That's why I'm always hanging around you." "Do I love you?" "Oh my do Baby, indeed I do." "Baby indeed I do." "Baby, Baby, Baby, Baby, Babe... because I do." "'Cause Baby, yes sir, Baby..." "'cause Baby indeed I do." "Boy look at the moon." "You wouldn't think it was the same one that was shining over the Bronx, Brooklyn, Coney Island." "But it is." "Yeah, but it's so much bigger and better out here." "You sure have a beautiful place to live in." "I've heard about places like this." "Read about them." "In fact, I've even seen them in movies." "Never really expected to be here, though." "Yes, we have everything here to make us happy... a calm, peaceful atmosphere." "No noisy streetcars or automobiles." "No rushing around in and out subways." "No smoky factories smudging up the air we breath." "Say, how come you know about these things?" "And how come you talk like a college girl?" "Perhaps it's because I went to college." "Come again?" "I was sent to your country to be educated." "Someday I will be queen of this island." "My people would like their queen to be smart." "Well what do you know?" "Sammy!" "You know, I kinda hate to leave this place." "Then why go?" "Huh?" "Do you have to go?" "Well, we're part of an entertainment group." "We're due to entertain the boys on Guam." "In fact, we're overdo." "How do we get off this island?" "Do any ships stop here?" "Oh yes." "A ship stops once every two months." "Oh, we'll have to do better than that." "Perhaps Dr. Zabor can help you." "Dr. Zabor?" "Yes, he's the only white man on the island." "Well how come we haven't seen him?" "Where is he?" "He lives on the other side of the island." "He's a scientist working on an experiment in evolution." "He's very clever, and we are in the midst of a series of..." "Did you say "we"?" "Yes, you see, he hired me as his assistant." "Oh." "Tomorrow I shall take you to him." "He'll be very glad to see you both, I'm sure." "Oh, great." "Hey Duke..." "Dukie..." "What?" "Oh, never mind." "He went that away." "Run for your lives." "Go on... get out of here." "Run for your lives." "SOLANA:" "Sammy?" "Maybe I should run for mine, too now." "SOLANA:" "Sammy!" "SOLANA:" "Sammy!" "Oh, pardon me." "WOMAN: (SCREAMING) Help!" "SOLANA:" "Sammy!" "Sammy!" "SAMMY:" "Leave me alone, will ya'?" "Get out of here and leave me alone. (CRYING)" "Here we are." "Well, thanks for seeing me home." "That's the custom of the islands." "No kidding?" "Yes, that's right." "Well, there's a switch." "What other customs do you have?" "Oh, many quaint ones." "I shall tell them to you sometimes." "Well that will be peachy." "I must go." "It's getting late." "Good night." "Wait a minute." "You can't take a guy home and then leave him with just a good night." "No?" "No." "SAMMY:" "Ahhh..." "Dukie... ahhh..." "Dukie!" "Let me go!" "Let me go, will ya?" "See, Saloma bring you home, yes?" "Yeah, thanks loads." "But you didn't have to go out of your way." "Shut up, Cuckoo." "It's a custom of the island." "Right?" "Right." "Well, we better go." "Until tomorrow?" "Come, Saloma." "Good night, my little one." "Get her out of here." "Get her out... get away... get out of here." "Bye." "Yeah, wait for me in the glove compartment, will ya'?" "Well?" "Well what?" "Well aren't you going to carry me across the threshold?" "Get out of here." "How much further do we have to go?" "Oh, not very much." "Boy now I know how Livingston felt when he couldn't find Stanley." "You have that wrong." "It's just visa versa." "Visa what?" "Visa versa..." "Livingston didn't find" "Stanley..." "Stanley found Livingston." "This is visa versa?" "That's right." "What are you looking for?" "I expect Two-Ton Salami to come out here charging after me at any minute." "Oh, don't worry about that." "She won't." "None of my people venture very close to the castle." "It is forbidden." "Castle?" "What castle?" "The castle where Dr. Zabor lives and works." "Well, how come you go there and work?" "I don't share all the beliefs of my ancestors." "Where is this castle?" "There it is." "Cozy little shack." "I wish it was on 42nd Street and Broadway." "42nd and Broadway?" "What kind of a crack is that?" "Well if it was on 42nd and Broadway, we'd be standing in front of the Automat." "And boy, could I use a good cup of coffee right now." "Come on, Duke." "Hey-hey-hey... wait for me." "This looks like death not only took a holiday, but he got a hangover from taking it." "Oh, this looks like Sing-Sing." "I got to get out of here." "What are you worried about?" "What me?" "I ain't worried." "Just wish I was back in Brooklyn playing the Loew's Pitkin, that's all." "Good morning, Chulak." "Morning." "Tell Dr. Zabor I am here, and I bring two white visitors." "I tell master." "Close the door." "Close the door." "Close the door." "Oh, that's me." "Master... no what is it, Chula?" "Why do you disturb me?" "The girl... she is here." "Since when does she have to be announced?" "She has two men with her... white men." "White men?" "Who are they?" "I not know, Master." "Come on, Dukie, let's go." "The doctor's probably busy." "And besides, I forgot something at the hut." "What?" "I forgot to stay there." "I'm getting out of here." "Relax cuckoo you want to get off this island, don't you?" "Sure, I want to get off the island." "Well the Doctor's going to help us get off... isn't he?" "Yes, Dr. Zabor's a very brilliant man." "Brilliant man, huh?" "Anybody who'd live in a creep joint like this must be a moronic idiot." "Good morning." "I'm Doctor Zabor." "Welcome to my creep joint." "Oh, gosh, I'm sorry Mr. Idiot..." "I didn't mean to call your creep joint a creep joint." "Ah, think nothing of it." "Doctor, I would like you to meet my friends." "Yes." "Hi-ya, Doc." "I'm Duke Mitchell." "This is my partner, Sammy Patrillo." "We were on our way to do a thing." "Don't I know you from someplace?" "I don't think so." "Psst... hey Dukie... come here." "I think I know where you know this guy from." "Where?" "Ain't this the fellow with the hand and the face..." "Biting people on the neck and wearing capes?" "You're crazy." "Watch out for bats." "Wait a minute..." "I'll prove it you... watch." "Doctor Zabor?" "Yes." "Would you do me a favor?" "What is it?" "Make a face." "What?" "Thanks... see..." "What did I tell you?" "No go over and apologize." "I ain't going to do it." "Come on, you embarrassed me." "Go over and apologize." "Come on." "Doctor Zabor?" "Yes." "What do you go around scaring little children for?" "What are you doing?" "What's the matter with you?" "Don't mind him, Doc." "He thinks you're the guy that goes around biting little kids on the neck... you know what I mean?" "[LAUGHING]" "It's him." "Doctor, my friends fell out of a plane and landed on the island." "They would like to get back to civilization." "I told them you could help them." "That's possible." "Thank you, Doctor." "It may take several days to make arrangements." "In the meantime, please, accept my hospitality." "Allow me to furnish you with suitable clothes." "Gee, thanks Doc..." "But no capes, huh?" "Oh, Chula..." "Yes, Master?" "Take these men to my room." "Yes, Master." "Pick out anything you want from my wardrobe." "When you have changed, Chula will bring you to the study." "Follow Chula." "Come." "The most interesting cranium." "Strange... but interesting." "You really think so?" "Oh, what a charming compliment." "It was very thoughtful for you to bring these men here." "I'm sure I can help them." "I was hoping you would." "I would do anything for you in my power." "Please, Doctor Zabor..." "I'll be in the laboratory, Doctor." "Why do treat me so cold, my Dear?" "Don't you know I love you?" "I want you." "Oh, what is wrong?" "Why do not accept my love?" "Please, Doctor, must we go over that again?" "Yes, we must." "You shall love me." "Certainly nice of you to fix us up like this, Doc." "Yeah, I always wanted a Palm Beach suit, thanks." "Very happy to do it." "It's quite a drug store you got here, Doc." "This is my laboratory." "Laboratory?" "No kidding." "Hey, Duke, look..." "looks like the monkey house in the Bronx Zoo, doesn't it?" "Only it's more, of course." "They are my guinea pigs." "Guinea pigs?" "They look like monkeys to me." "They are monkeys... silly boy." "They are so monkeys." "Certainly they are monkeys." "But they also guinea pigs... for the reason I use that I use them in my experiments." "You understand, yeah?" "No." "Hey, Doc, what's this?" "Streptococcus." "Yeah, no kidding." "Hello Strept-eye and Cock-eye... ha-ha." "Don't mind my friend." "He has a one syllable brain." "I can see that." "What kind of experiments are you making, Doctor?" "Oh, I'm performing a series of experiments in evolution." "Evolution?" "What's evolution?" "Scientists have proven that all living things originated in a process of evolution." "They also know that there is a growth force that tends to make genetic changes physiologically or morphologically." "Chimpanzees and gorillas are the highest members of the ape family and are the ancestors of man." "Darwin, in his "Provisional Hypothesis of Pangenesis"" "assumes that every living cell contains a gemmule, which is a hypothetical granula." "I have found the chemical formula that simulates the growth force." "But nature takes years." "I can, in a matter of hours, make a complete embryonic metamorphosis..." "Both physiological and morphological." "Do you understand?" "Well, uh..." "Sure." "What?" "Yeah." "You mean you understood him?" "Mhm-hm." "What'd he say?" "What'd he say?" "Well he was just trying to say that due to the great lines of Swedium, which have been perplexed by the fact that the last type dog had it's first origin..." "You can't confuse tyrannical and spasmodic conditions when it is never..." "Shut up." "Confused as a satellite of inconvenience." "Shut up." "With physical embryonic physical morphesis and... methods... period." "Master, Pepe Bordo here to see you." "And in conclusion, I'd like to add that if you took the embryonic metamorphosis, the only thing..." "Shut up." "What's she so mad about?" "Oh, Ramona isn't mad." "She just wants to play." "Come..." "I'll show you." "Well, Ramona... do you like our friends?" "Do you want to come out?" "No, don't let her out... don't let her out." "Oh, Ramona's a pet." "She's very tame... watch." "All right, Ramona, open the door." "Open the door." "Open the door, Ramona." "That's a good girl." "Come on out now... come on." "That's a good girl." "I want you to meet my friends." "Shake hands with Dukie." "Shake hands." "Hi Ramona." "Good girl... and now I think I want you to kiss Sammy." "No, no, no... get her out of here." "Get her..." "I don't want to know." "I don't..." "I don't want to." "No, no... get her out of here." "Aw, she won't hurt you, Sammy." "[LAUGHS]" "Hey, you know something Dukie?" "What?" "She looks a little like our agent, huh?" "Yeah." "[LAUGHTER]" "Pepe has come for some acid for his batteries, Nona." "Very well, doctor." "Come on, Ramona..." "That's a good..." "Into your cage... that's a good little girl." "All right, Pepe." "Thank you." "This is Pepe Bordo." "Mr. Mitchell..." "Mr. Patrillo..." "Hi-ya, Pepe." "How are you, Mr. Bordo?" "Please to meet you." "Ah, Pepe is representing the law on the island." "Oh, a cop, huh?" "You call them a cop." "My friends are from America." "How did you get here?" "There has been no boat for months." "Oh, we just dropped in... ha-ha." "They parachuted from a plane." "Oh." "Pepe has the only means of outside communication on the island... a small, wireless outfit." "Gee, maybe you can get us off this island while there's some passing ship or something." "Yeah, you know Morris Code- da-da, da-da, da, da, da." "What does that mean?" "Da-da, da-da, da, da, da." "What does that mean?" "Well, my transmitter only carries to the neighboring islands... a little over 100 miles." "But some ship my pick her up." "I shall try." "Well, thanks a lot." "Gee, that'll be peachy." "Here you are, Pepe." "Oh, thank you." "And thank you, too, Doctor." "My pleasure." "Gentlemen." "It has been a pleasure." "Same..." "[INTERPOSING VOICES]" "And don't forget..." "Da-da, da-da, da, da, da." "[LAUGHTER]" "I see you to the door." "Wow, it will great if we can get a ship to stop here, won't it?" "Sure will... sooner the better." "Gee, Nona, why didn't you tell us there was a wireless outfit on this island?" "I..." "I just didn't think, I guess." "Well, if a ship stops here, we can go right out to Guam." "Gee, Honey, what's the matter?" "Nothing." "Come on Baby, don't feel that way." "Come on Baby... smile." "It's getting awful sticky around here." "What do you want?" "What... what... what are you doing?" "Ha-ha... that's pretty cute, you know." "What are you doing?" "(SCREAMING) Help, Dukie..." "Get me out of here." "Help Dukie..." "Dukie, get me out of here, will ya?" "You know something?" "I don't like the way that Doctor Zabor looked at you a couple times today." "And do you know something?" "I don't think Doctor Zabor liked the way you looked at me a couple of times tonight, either." "Well it's just too bad." "And I don't know if I like the idea of living here or not." "Why not?" "Well, it's too far from the village... and you." "But I'm there every day." "Yeah, but you're always busy." "You can always take me home at night." "Well..." "I guess that'll have to do until" "I can think of something better." "I shall have my father invite all of you to dinner some night soon." "Would you like that?" "I can hardly wait." "Anything else, Master?" "No... go to bed." "Good night, Master." "Good night." "Fine thing... he knows I'm afraid to be left alone." "Well I wouldn't think of letting you go home alone." "I'll see you home." "Well, thank you very much." "But wouldn't Sammy like to come along?" "Oh no..." "Sammy wouldn't like to come along." "Sammy's tired." "Sammy's tired..." "Sammy's tired..." "How does he know if I'm tired?" "Come to think of it, I am a little tired." "[MUSIC PLAYING]" "Is that you, Duke?" "It's about time you got home." "Lie still... will you go to sleep." "Cut it out, will you... go to sleep." "Hey Duke... what's with the angora patch?" "Ramona... how did you get up here?" "Come on... you got to go back to your cage." "Come on, Ramona, let's go." "Atta baby, come on." "What are you doing with Ramona?" "What am I doing with Ramona?" "Are you kidding?" "I'm upstairs sleeping in my own bed... and very peacefully, mind you." "The next thing I know this is staring me right in the kisser." "The whole thing's very ambiguous." "Take her back to her cage." "What?" "(YELLING) Take her back in her cage!" "All righty." "All right, Ramona, now it's time to go beddy-bye." "Get into your cage." "Oh, no you don't." "You're not going to lock me in again." "All right... going to hang on to that tonight." "Now what do you want?" "Oh, you want I should sit down and rock you to sleep, huh?" "Oh, OK." "Come on, Ramona..." "Up we go... and over." "(SINGING) Rock-a-bye baby on the tree top." "When the wind blows... cut Ramona, you got to go to bed..." "The cradle will rock." "(SINGING) Do I want you?" "Oh my... do I... baby." "Indeed I do." "Do I need you... (SINGING) Rock-a-bye baby on the tree top." "When the wind blows the cradle will rock." "[MUMBLING IN HIS SLEEP]" "[HUMMING] Boy what a night... what a moon..." "Could reach right up and touch it." "Well, good night." "Sammy in bed?" "No... still in the laboratory." "In the laboratory?" "What's he doing in there?" "Humph... putting Ramona to bed." "Babysitting the chimp?" "This I got to see." "Oh no... now I've seen everything." "Good night, Cuckoo." "Chief Rakos' honored to have great Doctor visit his humble abode." "And how goes the scientific work?" "Good, I hope." "Huh?" "Oh yes... fine, fine." "Everything is progressing satisfactorily." "That is good." "Mhm, this is great." "Try this." "Hey..." "I like that." "Hey Duke... get a load of that, will ya'?" "Does he sleep with that thing on?" "You eat." "Look..." "I told you 40 times... get out of here." "I know how to feed myself." "You gotta eat to grow fat." "Wait... will you get out of... get out of here." "I know how to eat my own food." "Duke, will you make her stop already." "Fight your way out of it, kid." "She outweighs me." "[MUSIC PLAYING]" "Oh, I get it... you're going to go out that door." "I'm going to go out this door." "And then we're going to meet over there." "Right?" "Oh, that's a very good idea." "Oh, by the way, here's the bowl..." "You get two cents back for it." "Excuse me." "[MUSIC PLAYING]" "Sammy!" "Sammy!" "[LAUGHTER]" "What are you laughing about?" "I was just thinking..." "I had the fall out of a plane to meet you." "Baby, when we get back to the States, we're going to have a big wedding..." "With all the trimmings." "But Darling, my father will probably wish me to be married here with a full tribal ceremony." "OK, OK... we'll get married in a Carbond by a motormen if you want... just so it's you." "This belonged to my great, great grandmother." "In your country, it is the custom for the man to give his sweetheart an engagement ring." "Here... this is the custom." "[HUMMING]" "Where'd you learn that tune?" "That used to be my favorite tune in college." "No kidding?" "That's right." "Well it's one of the tunes in our act." "Really?" "(SINGING) Too soon... it was only part of the game you played." "You're smile only added life to your masquerade." "Too soon..." "I'll be more than willing to give my heart." "Too soon... for a kiss that offers a world apart." "And just like a fortune teller, I take your hand." "But only misfortune beckons at your command." "You promise a future bright with the early dawn." "But when I awake tomorrow, will you be gone?" "Am I waiting in vain?" "May I kiss you again?" "Please don't hurt me or ever dessert me." "Am I too late too soon?" "To your health, my good Doctor." "To yours." "Mighty Chief Rakos..." "I thank you for your hospitality." "But it grows late and I have much to do tomorrow." "Good night." "My pleasure you come." "Goodnight." "Many kisses... she talked marriage..." "She give boy necklace..." "Very serious." "Very interesting..." "Very interesting." "Chula?" "Yes Master?" "Open the cage." "All right... open it." "Pick her up." "All right..." "lay her down." "She will be big like gorilla, no?" "No..." "I think not." "I think not." "Master... she is back to little monkey." "What is wrong?" "Nothing is wrong, Chula... nothing." "Now I can change a man into a gorilla." "A man to a gorilla." "Not me, Master..." "Not Chula... please." "No Chula... not you." "[KNOCK ON DOOR]" "Good morning, Chula." "Morning." "Good morning." "Good morning..." "I'm sorry I'm late doctor." "Perfectly all right, my dear." "I slept late myself this morning." "I have a surprise for you." "It wasn't strong enough." "It worked... but it wasn't strong enough to hold." "What did you say, Doctor?" "It wasn't strong enough." "I thought I... nothing my dear." "Good morning, Ramona." "Come and shake hands." "How are you today?" "Aw..." "I forgot to bring you something." "When are we going to get out of here, Duke?" "How should I know?" "Yeah... fat lot you care." "You're happy here..." "You've got Nona." "After all... where you going to find a Nona in the Bronx?" "You know, you got something there, Chump?" "Me... the two-legged blimp's got me crazy." "I nearly froze to death last night in those trees trying to get away from her." "Imagine me trying to do a Tarzan." "I ain't got the build for it." "We'll, I'll go look up this guy," "Pepe... see if he's contacted any ships." "You want to come along?" "And run into Salami?" "(CHUCKLES) No thanks." "Oh... try to keep out of Ramona's cage will you?" "Very funny... very funny... ha-ha-ha-ha!" "Keep out of Ramona's cage." "What does he think I am..." "An idiot or something?" "[HUMMING] Hi-ya, Baby." "Well, so early in the morning?" "Well I'm on my way to see Pepe." "We got to get back to the States." "I'll go with you." "All right." "Why Nona?" "Yes?" "I need you in the lab." "Very well... you'll never find Pepe's place by yourself." "Go to my father." "He'll get you a guide." "All right..." "I'll see you later." "[MUSIC PLAYING]" "[FIGHTING SOUNDS]" "Morning everybody." "Where is everybody?" "Hello... hello... hello..." "Hello... good morning." "Good morning." "Hi-ya, Pop." "Good morning." "And how you today, my little anthropoid?" "Anthropoid?" "Where'd I get that one?" "Oh well." "How about a little streptococci... streptococcai." "Never mind that." "When you get through with that, will you make a malted?" "Master?" "I think will be all for today Nona." "I want you to take our guest along with you to the village to me your friend, Duke." "All right, Doctor." "Come along, Sammy." "Good Chula... very good." "First we make sure he does not come to until we're finished." "There... put him into the cage." "Take off his clothes." "Remember Noni... you promised to protect me from Salami." "You mustn't be afraid of her." "She's only a baby." "Yeah... a baby elephant." "Hey look... the funniest things grow on these trees, don't they?" "Why it's my necklace." "Yeah... that's right." "The one Dukie had on." "I wonder how it got here." "He's awful careless with his jewelery." "Don't tell him found it." "I want to tease him about losing it... make him worry a little before I give it back." "Serves him right." "That's it." "How long it take, Master?" "I don't know... quiet." "Oh, you are back, my little one." "Remember Noni... you promised." "No Saloma... [SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "Just a little?" "Not a little." "Aw." "Did our father supply Duke with a guide to go to Pepe's?" "Duke not come here." "You're sure?" "I'm sure." "He must have gone to find Pepe alone." "That's bad." "Dooga?" "Asmo?" "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "What'd you tell them?" "To look for Duke." "Good... and hurry!" "Fradosh now!" "Let's go back to Doctor Zabor's." "He may have turned back looking for this." "All right." "Come on." "Me go to." "No Saloma." "No, No... a thousand times, no!" "No, no... a thousand times, no." "[MUSIC PLAYING]" "DUKE AS GORILLA: [GROWLING]" "Now let's see if my lovely Nona will prefer you to me." "Suppose he ain't here... then what?" "Then he must be lost in the jungle, and we better go find him before it's too late." "Dukie... come out, come out wherever you are." "Maybe he's hiding." "Duke!" "Hide his clothes in there." "And put Ramona in there, too." "Oh, have you seen Duke?" "No." "Dukie!" "Maybe he's in the laboratory... come on." "Doctor did Duke come..." "[SCREAMS] Where'd he come from?" "Another step in my experiment, my dear." "Ramona is now a gorilla." "Ramona?" "This is Ramona?" "Yes." "Boy..." "I'd hate to have to rock her to sleep now." "Do you intend to advance her one more step?" "To the human level?" "No." "I don't blame you, Doc." "That's the stupidest looking gorilla I ever saw." "Did Pepe have any good news for our friend, Duke?" "I don't know." "We can't find him." "He must be lost in the jungle." "DUKE AS GORILLA: [GROWLING]" "Some of my people are searching for him." "Sammy, I think we better go back to the village." "Not me." "I'm tired of chasing around." "I'll wait here." "I will be glad to go with you, my dear... come." "Well, well, so long, Ramona." "And don't take any wooden bananas." "DUKE AS GORILLA: [GROWLING]" "Chula... if Duke should return, bring him to the village." "Yes, Master." "Let's go, dear." "What... what... what are you trying to say, Ramona?" "What... what are you trying to do, Ramona?" "I don't understand you... what?" "DUKE AS GORILLA:" "[GORILLA SOUNDS]" "Oh, a charade." "Oh good... oh... oh... uh-huh..." "Three words... three words..." "First word... first word... uh, pupil... pupil." "A lash... eye lash?" "Oh no... a brow... brow..." "Brow... eye..." "I..." "I..." "Second word... second word... ear?" "No, no... sounds like... sounds like... sounds like... a bang." "Huh?" "Uh-huh... h... h... h..." "Head... head... no..." "No... no... a bang... bang... ramp?" "Sounds like ramp... ramp." "Sam... ha... ha... ham?" "Ma'am?" "Leg of lamb..." "lamb..." "lamb..." "Wait a minute, Ramona." "I can't hear you with all that noise." "You wait right here." "I'll be right back." "Look... will you cut out all that racket there?" "Now you're confusing me, and I don't..." "Ramona?" "Then who are you?" "Duke's clothes..." "How'd they get there?" "And where'd he go... without them?" "Oh... this is all very confusing." "What... what... what are you trying to tell me?" "I don't understand a word." "Wha-wha-what am I, dumb or something?" "Don't... don't answer that." "If only Duke were here." "He'd figure it out." "He's the smart one." "Little Ramona, big Ramona, apes, gorillas, jungles, natives, mad doctors... what an interesting cranium." "Make me nervous with all this stuff." "I'm a young kid..." "I got a lot of talent." "I don't want to go through all this stuff." "(SINGING) Do I love you?" "Oh my do I. Baby indeed I do." "Do I need you?" "Oh my do I. Baby, indeed I do." "Dukie?" "Dukie, what have they done to you?" "How did you get like that?" "Oh Dukie, what?" "What?" "No, I don't understand, Dukie." "What am I going to do with you?" "Key... key... we got to get the key." "Where... where's the key?" "Oh, Duke... ah, take it easy." "You don't know your own strength." "Come one, we got to get out of here." "DUKE AS GORILLA: [GROWLING]" "All right... all right... all right..." "Stop making with the Tarzan stuff." "Now let's go upstairs and hide until I can figure this thing out." "[INTERPOSING VOICES]" "Hey Father?" "They have not found Duke?" "No." "He no come to my place." "We must find him, Father." "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "Oh, Father... something had happened to him." "We will find him." "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "I'm sure he's safe, my Dear." "Father... we've got to find him." "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "[SPEAKING NATIVE TRIBAL LANGUAGE]" "When you human, you did all the thinking for the both of us." "Fine jam to have to get out of." "And with nothing but my poor little brain to help us." "And don't look at me, will ya?" "We got to get that screwy Doctor to change you back again." "What if he hasn't got the combination?" "Oy vey." "Aw... don't cry, Dukie." "Just think what a sensation we'll be when we get back home." "I can see it all now..." "Sammy Patrillo and Duke Mitchell..." "The Singing Gorilla." "Why... we'll kill 'em." "We may even play the palace." "[WAILING]" "Don't cry, Nona..." "They find Duke." "For real they find him." "Everybody look for him." "They find him... honest." "Don't cry, my child." "Master." "It's about Duke?" "No, my dear..." "Ramona is, uh, lose." "She's dangerous..." "If she comes here, you have my permission to kill her." "DUKE AS GORILLA:" "[GORILLA SOUNDS]" "Look, don't worry." "We can get a nice apartment near the Bronx Zoo, and you can over to the monkey house and visit any time you want." "DUKE AS GORILLA: [GROWLING]" "Look... will you cut out the hysterics?" "We got to think now." "Quiet... quiet... quiet..." "(YELLING) quiet!" "Now sit down... we got to think this over." "Can't stay here forever." "If I take you the village, they're liable to kill you before I can explain." "Explain?" "We're going to explain this?" "They'll probably think I'm a meshuga... then they'll kill me, too." "Well, we got to take a chance." "Come on, get up." "Wait a minute..." "I'll put some clothes on you." "Maybe that'll fool 'em." "Here's some that ought to do it, Dukie." "Here, this will cover you up... put it on." "What are you doing?" "What are you clowning?" "Here, put it on." "Will you put it on?" "No look Duke Mitchell..." "I'm running this game, you understand?" "And don't talk back." "There... not put it on because we got to get out that door." "Dukie?" "Dukie this is you over here, ain't it, Dukie?" "Th-th-th-this is you, ain't it Duke?" "Aw, come on Dukie... tell me it's you, will ya'?" "Duke..." "Dukie..." "Dukie please... tell me it's you, will you, Duke?" "Aw, come on... sing... dance..." "Do something will ya'?" "Do I love you?" "Oh my, do I, Baby." "I give up!" "[MUSIC PLAYING]" "Come on, Dukie... come on." "[MUSIC PLAYING]" "Come on, Dukie..." "Let's..." "let's go..." "Come on Dukie, come on... hurry up, boy." "[MUSIC PLAYING]" "You hurt this time, Master?" "No... no... get my rifle." "We must kill him." "Come on, Dukie..." "Let's go for it." "Hurry up, will ya?" "Come on..." "Come on, don't let them get us, boy." "Come on, let's go." "Hurry up will ya?" "Don't let him bluff ya', Duke." "Don't let him bluff ya'." "Aw..." "[GORILLA SOUNDS]" "Come on, Dukie... this is not time for romance." "Look!" "Come on... tell her you'll see her later, and let's get out of here." "[INTERPOSING VOICES]" "No... no... no... wait... wait..." "Get out of here... wait." "[INTERPOSING VOICES]" "Dukie Mitchell..." "Look, it's only my partner, Dukie Mitchell... come on, Dukie." "No... no... no... wait..." "Wait... put that away." "It's only Duke." "Oh no." "What crazy things this?" "It was Duke that Doctor Zabor changed into a gorilla..." "Not Ramona." "Duke, is it really you?" "Oh, Duke, my Darling..." "What have they done to you?" "We'll find Doctor." "He'll pay for this." "You won't have to find me." "A very touching scene, my dear." "Step aside, my dear." "Oh no!" "No!" "Step aside." "No... no..." "Duke..." "Duke..." "What are you nuts." "Come on back, Dukie." "DUKE AS GORILLA: [GROWLING]" "Sammy..." "Sammy..." "Duke..." "Duke, I don't want to die, Duke." "I'm too young, and I have too much talent." "I don't want to die." "Come on... wake up, will ya." "Let's go." "Hey... come on... come on." "Duke..." "Duke... you're not a gorilla anymore." "Gorilla?" "What are you talking about?" "Where am I?" "Where are you?" "You're in our dressing room at the Jungle" "Hut in Passaic, New Jersey." "And we're on next." "Let's go... come on." "Boy, what a dream." "Hurry up... straighten up." "Come on, will ya?" "Come on." "Hush up, Dukie..." "I'm going." "Nona?" "Hello Dukie." "Hi Baby... how'd it go?" "Sensational... what a crowd." "We really killed them." "Really?" "Good luck, Honey." "Chief Rakos." "Hot work huh, Pop?" "Oh yeah... you're not kidding." "Bye-bye." "Baby." "Cuckoo... come on." "Watch it, bub... watch it." "Pepe?" "What?" "Nothing, nothing." "Ch-Ch-Chula?" "Hurry it up... you're on next." "What kept you?" "Aw, Dukie, the most awful thing happened." "And you'd better get some laughs this time." "Or you'll be collecting unemployment insurance." "Doctor Zabor!" "What's the matter with you?" "Aw, Dukie..." "I just saw everybody in my dream." "Chula, Pepe... and that's the guy that said, "What an interesting cranium."" "Right over there..." "That's the fella." "[MUSIC PLAYING]" "Oh no!" "Where's by little Tarzan?" "Hi-ya Doll." "And now ladies and gentleman..." "Those two fireballs of fun..." "Duke Mitchell and Sammy Patrillo." "Come on, Cookoo." "Come on, break it up... come on." "Gee-you're not so bad." "[AUDIENCE APPLAUSE]" "Good evening, ladies and gentleman..." "Hey, Dukie..." "Dukie..." "look..." "There's a Newark Bird." "Newark bird?" "Yeah, don't you know what a Newark bird is?" "No, what's a Newark bird?" "That's a bird that lays square eggs... then he goes oh, ah, oh, ah." "[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]" "Play it, boys." "(SINGING) Do I love you?" "Oh my do I. Baby, indeed I do." "Baby indeed I do." "Baby..." "Baby..." "Baby..." "Baby..." "Baby... because I do." "'Cause Baby... yes sir, Baby..." "'cause Baby... indeed I do." "[MUSIC PLAYING]"