"Long ago, in a distant land... I, Aku, the shape-shifting Master of Darkness... unleashed an unspeakable evil!" "But a foolish samurai warrior wielding a magic sword... stepped forth to oppose me." "Before the final blow was struck... I tore open a portal in time, and flung him into the future... where my evil is law!" "Now the fool seeks to return to the past... and undo the future that is Aku!" "" Got to get back, back to the past, Samurai Jack "" "" Watch out! "" "" Got to get back, back to the past, Samurai Jack "" "" Got to get back, back to the past, Samurai Jack "" "" Watch out! "" "" Got to get back, back to the past, Samurai Jack "" "" Got to get back "" "" Watch out! "" "" Got to get back, Samurai Jack " " Watch out! "" "Yes, I can hold." "Yes, I would like to place an order for delivery." "Aku." "I think I'm in the computer." "Yes, that's it!" "I'd like a large..." "What?" "!" "Extra thick!" "Thirty minutes or it's free?" "Excellent!" "You're early." "I suppose you know why you're here." "Right." "Well, let me refresh your memory." "Destroy Samurai Jack!" "Stupid!" "Idiotic!" "Stupid bounty hunters!" "It's just like people say... if you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself." "Do it yourself?" "Yes..." " Aku!" " Yes, it is I, Samurai Jack." "How incredibly observant you are." "Put that thing away, Samurai." "We all know what's gonna happen." "You'll swing your sword, I'll fly away... and probably say something like..." ""l'll be back, Samurai!"" "And then I'll flutter off over the horizon... and we won't see each other for about a week... and then we'll do the same thing all over again." "Your word play will not trick me, villain!" "No, wait!" "I'll be back again, Samurai, you'll see." "See what I mean?" "All right, Aku, what is this about?" " A duel!" " A what?" "You heard me!" "Think about it, Jack." "We could settle this thing once and for all." "Man to man!" "No armies... no bounty hunters... but more importantly... no sword!" "No sword?" "How do you reply, Samurai?" "Very well." "But you will follow three conditions." "Name them." "One: no superhuman powers." "Two: no evil minions to assist you." "And three: no shape-shifting." "You come in human form." " That was four things!" " The last one was a two-parter." "I accept." "We shall meet before the rising sun... at the ancient ruins beyond the Valley of the Corpses." "Agreed." "Was that east or west of the Crimson Hall of the Ogre?" " East." " East, right." "You know where that is?" " Yes, yes. I will find it." "Do not worry." " You sure?" "No, no." "Don't worry." "I remember now." " l can give you a ride if you..." " l will find it!" "Then I'll see you there!" " ln human form." " What?" "In human form." "I will see you there in human form." " l'll be in human form." " Right." "Of course, I thought you meant..." "Never mind." "Human form." "Got it." " Right." " Right." "Right." " And no sword." " Right." "What?" "Enough of this foolishness!" "It is time to let fate determine our destiny." "You seem a bit strong for a human, don't you think, Aku?" "Well..." "Oh, wait." "That's right." "You said no superhuman...strength." "I understand now." "Your reign of terror is over, Aku!" "You are finished." "This fight is...over?" " That pillar did not move by itself, Aku!" " Yes, it did." "What was that, Aku?" "We agreed there would be no shape-shifting!" "I knew he could not be trusted." "All right, Aku... if you cannot follow the rules, then neither will I!" "What?" "My sword!" "Wrong!" "It was your sword." "The rule was no minions allowed!" "I wasn't the one who went for the sword." "But that was because you would..." "Coulda, shoulda, woulda." "It's all part of life's sweet sorrow." "You're so lucky, Samurai." "Most of us have to live with our mistakes... but you get to die by yours!" "Say good-bye to your little toy, Jack." "Once and for..." " A fake!" " That's right, Aku." "You see, I'm smart, and you are pure evil." "And I knew you would cheat." "So I had a fake sword made, and hid it under that rock over there." "Then I hid the real sword right down... here." "You see, Jack... I knew that you knew I would cheat, so I came prepared." "And now you will learn what it means to be a fool!" " l am afraid that you are the fool, Aku." " Why?" "Because I knew that you knew that I knew... that you knew that I knew you would cheat." "So I hid fake swords all over this place." "Now all you have to do, Aku... is figure out which one of these swords is the real one." "That's easy. lt's...this one!" "I mean, this one!" "It's this one." "This one?" "OK. lt's this one!" "This one!" "This one!" "This one!" "Wait!" "This one!" "It's this one over here!" "This one!" "No!" "OK, this one!" "This one!" "All right, Jack, where is the sword?" "!" "I'll be back, Samurai!" "I'll be back!" "And I will be waiting, Aku." "For no matter how long it may take, I will destroy you." "" Watch out! "" "" Got to get back, back to the past, Samurai Jack "" "" Got to get back, back to the past, Samurai Jack "" "" Watch out! "" "" Got to get back, back to the past, Samurai Jack "" "" Got to get back, back to the past, Samurai Jack "" "" Watch out! "" "" Watch out! "" "" Got to get back, Samurai Jack "" "" Watch out! ""