"isn't this beautiful?" "I have always wanted to come to the hollywood bowl." "Oh,look at the stars." "Those are traffic helicopters." "I'm still making a wish." "What possessed you to buy these tickets?" "I bought 'em at a school auction." "I bought the whole series 'cause I thought it made me look smart." "And I thought I was bidding on a cotton candy machine." "See?" ""See?" What "see?"" "What did you tell her?" "See?" "You were right." "Think it's great." "We live in a city full of culture and we never take advantage of any of it." "Maybe this weekend we should go to a museum." "Pass." "I love you." "Oh,isn't this nice?" "Thank you for inviting me,christine." "Is your date meeting us here?" "No,no,no,no,no." "Don't do that." "No,truth is,bree,I-I don't have a date tonight." "D anI'm completely fine with it." "No." "No,no "aww. " I mean,I was dating someone." "I'm not now,but I'm not going to wait I le my life until I find another someone." "Besides there's nothing wrong with being a single woman." "I mean look at these ladies." "They don't have dates." "I think they might be dating each other." "That's smart." "Look,your date's here,too." "Say hello to coleman." "That's funny." "You two can just chill." "Oh,yeah." "That's crazy funny." "Oh,look who's here." "Oh,hey." "You know,christine,the concert where they play the cartoon theme songs isn't tonight." "You tricked me." "Wow,christine,look at you." "The hollywood bowl,the most romantic place in los angeles,all by yourself." "Yeah,I'm fine." "I'm going to go make up with my husband." "I swear to god you were put on this earth to scare the crap out of me." "You're welcome." "well,enjoy the concert." "You know,I never really thought of you as the classical music type." "Why?" "We're very sophisticated." "Okay." "Well,the first piece is a suite,so don't clap between the movements,okay?" "movements." "I love you." "oh,here we go." "boy,I could really go for some cotton candy." "god,I hate classical music." "I'll tell you this right now." "I am considering seriously not letting any of you come to the next classical music concert." "Oh,no." "Yes,matthew." "You guys spent the entire time making out." "It showed a complete lack of respect for me, for the other music lovers,for the music players, and the guy with the stick." "Yeah,the whole night was kind of a loss." "I didn't really click with bree." "You didn't click?" "I heard zippers." "Well,yeah,we gave it a shot." "Hey,and what about those ladies in the box next to us?" "I thought the whole beauty of being a lesbian was that you didn't have to have sex anymore." "Not in the movies I've seen." "Hey,christine." "Would you ever let me fix you up with someone?" "No,I never would." "Why not?" "We have the same taste in men." "No,we really don'T." "You've been with the two men I love most in the world,richard and my father." "And I'm fine with it." "There's a guy in my office who would be perfect for you." "He's smart." "He'sweet." "He's funny." "And you know what they say,"opposites attract. "" "I can get my own men." "Yeah,go check your traps." "Well,let me know if you change your mind." " See ya." " Bye." "You should let her set you up." "I'm not ready to get into another relationship." "Bonody said anything about a relationship." "Why does everything have to be so serious?" "What about just going out for fun?" "You always get ahead of yourself." "I do not get ahead of myself." "I'm just not ready to get married again." "Oh,my god." "Nobody's getting married." "Well,I'm not having kids out of wedlock." "Oh,my god,we're talking about a,a two-hour date." "Somebody to listen to your boring music with." "Then what?" "Well,and then nothing." "Unless you want another date." "But maybe you want your next date with somebody else." "You can do that,too." "Or not." "And I'm in love with all of these men?" "No,you're not in love with anyone." "You're casual dating." "Men do it all the time." "But I sleep with all of these men?" "Well,probably." "What am I doing with my life?" "I hate blind dates." "I hate classical music." "I even kind of hate you right now." "What did I do?" "If you hadn't tricked me into marrying you then we would never have gotten divorced, and you would never have dated new christine and I would not be going out on a blind date." "I can't tell you how sorry I am." "Oh,good." "They're already here." "Richard,christine,thiss my friend timmy." "Timmy,that's her." "Old christine." "Oh,my god,he's,like,ten." "Oh,no,no,no,no,no,no,no." " Pleased to meet you." "Timmy,is it?" " Uh,yes,sir." "Okay,take it easy on me there,big guy." "Scoot over so your date can sit down." "Oh,no,no,no,no." "It's good to meet you,christine." "I've heard a lot about you." "Wow,uh,christine was right." "You are gorgeous." "Ah,yeah,maybe,maybe,maybe,maybe,maybe,maybe." "Okay,switch places with me." "Oh,do you need me to take him to the boys' room?" "Okay,okay." "What are you doing to me?" "Isn't he great?" "He's 12." "Oh,I don't think so." "I think he's in his 20s." "Yeah!" "What's wrong?" "What's wrong?" "I-I'm like ten years older than him." "Your bra is ten years older than him." "Yeah." "The store where I bought it isn't even open anymore." "I didn't even think about his age." "Age is just a number to me." "And he's nice." "And you're... single." "Who cares about his age?" "Yeah,easy for you to say." "You've still got elastic in your bra." "Oh,I'm not wearing a bra." "Okay,stop it!" "Stop it!" "Look,it really doesn't matter." "It's just a date." "Men date younger women all the time." "Yeah,I know men do do it all the time." "But just because men do it,does that mean I have to do it?" "Oh,god." "All right,move." "Oh,hey,christine." "Hey,ritchie." "Wow,you're lucky he sits so still." "I have to bring a dvd player for my kids." "Okay,you know,I can't do this." "Christine,you seem uncomfortable." " Yeah,well..." " is everything okay?" "I mean,you know,I'm sorry,but the age difference feels a little... are,are you really a lawyer?" "Well,I haven't passed the bar." " Can you go into a bar?" " Yes,yes." "Look,I know,I have a,a baby face." " But I'm not as young as I look." " Okay." "Hey,can't we just enjoy the evening?" "I" " I don't want you to be uncomfortable,but I'm very happy to be here." "I love classical music." "It's a beautiful night." "I get to stay up past my bedtime." "Well,I just feel ridiculous." "Really?" "Because you look beautiful." "Oh,okay,yeah..." "look..." "I'm sure you're a really nice person,tim." "Timmy." "Tim." "It's tim." "Okay,but this is not going to work." "I mean,you couldn't have been expecting somebody my age,either." "Well,I knew you'd be a little bit older,but I-I don't care." "I mean,we haven't even had a conversation yet." "Don't you think it's a little shallow to decide that you don't like me just based on a number?" "Well,yeah,but your number is so small,and my number is so big." "Look,let's just have our date,and if you don't like me, we'll have some quick incredible sex and go our separate ways." "Well,okay." "I guess we can... stay for the concert." "Okay,I like him." "Can I get anybody a glass of wine over here?" "Actually,I think we're going to want a bottle." "Okay,I love him." "I'm going to need to see your id." "This happens to me all... the... time." "Not you,ma'am." "Oh,shoot." "I carpooled with christine so I didn't bring my wallet." "Can we vouch for him?" "Are you his parents?" "No,I set him up with her." "I don't see age." "That's gross." "Okay,you know,here's an idea." "Can you just bring me the wine?" "I'm sorry." "I can't serve any of you unless I see his id." "Actually,you know,I live close to here." "If you want,you can just drive me home and I'll get my id." "Oh,no,no,no,no,that's silly." "I mean,you know,we don't need the wine." "We'll just enjoy the music." "okay,let's go get your id." "Ah,wow,I have never been so happy to be home." "You are a terrible driver." "Oh,no,I'm actually not that bad." "It's just while I was putting on my chapstick, my shoe fell off and it got wedged under the brake for a while,so." "Well,luckily,it didn't distract from your cell phone conversation." "I'm gonna go get my,uh,driver's license." "In fact,why don't you let me drive back,and you can tend to your lips." "My lips." "Your house is nice." "So are yours." "Okay,I'm going to go get my license." "god,I hate classical music." "Hello?" "Oh,hi,christine." "This is your 9:00 fake emergency phone call." "What?" "You asked me to call you at 9:00 just in case you needed an excuse to get out of your date." "Actually,you know what?" "I don't need it 'cause I'm having a pretty nice time." "I mean,at first,I thought he seemed a little young, but,you know,age is just a number,right?" "I mean,men do it all the time." "Men do what all the time?" "You know,date... youngsters." "You're dating a youngster?" "Oh,you know,he's very together,and he's got a good job." "And his house is nice,and he drinks wine,and he likes my lips." "I might love him." "You're very stable." "Hey,why is there an echo?" "Wait." "Are you in my tub again?" "Uh,no." "Hey,matthew... oh,damn it." "There better not be hair in my loofah." "Hey,I heard your phone ring." "Is everything okay?" "Yeah,it was just my brother,just checking in." "Everything's fine." "Well,I got my id,so if you want,we can get back in the car, fight the traffic,find our seats,and then order some wine." "Or,I was thinking maybe we could just sit here, drink some free wine,listen to music with words." "well,I do love wine... and words." "so,am I imagining things,or did we have a little... moment back there?" "I don't know." "I'm not looking." "I'm just getting my face cream." "Mom!" "Mom?" "What are you doing?" "I told you I had a date tonight." "This is your date?" "This is your mom?" "What the hell are you doing to my son?" " Oh,I got to go." " I'm going with you." "No." "You are going nowhere except straight to your room." "What?" "You live with your mom?" "What?" "What?" "Where else is he going to live?" "He's an intern in a law office." "They don't even pay him." "He's barely getting college credit." "Oh,my god!" "And what is the matter with you?" "You're 20 years older than him." "That has not been established." "Mom,why don't you just... go to your room!" "Go to your room!" "God,I hate you!" "You ruin everything!" "Christine,I had a wonderful time." "I'll call you." "I'm sorry about... her." "Oh,my god!" "Do you have mommy issues?" "I mean,you might as well be dating me!" "Oh,my god!" "Go to your room!" "Listen to your mother!" "You better get out before I call the police." "Oh,it's not a crime." "Men do it all the time." "Men are disgusting." "Oh,yeah." "Get out!" "Oh,I-I just..." "I think I dropped my chapstick on the couch." "But you know what?" "You keep it." "I'm just gonna,uh,go,and,uh,you... you've done a lovely job raising your son,and you have a beautiful home." " Christine,call me!" " Go!" "I'm going!" "I am not a pervert." "And I was not in your tub." "why did I let you talk me into a fix-up?" "It was a disaster." "His mother caught us kissing on the couch." "Oh,my god." "Is she going to call our mom?" "You're going to be so grounded." "I know." "It's so weird, but listen,matthew,now I get why people date young." "I mean,he was so fresh,and his gums went all the way down to his teeth." "He was just so adorable." "I didn't know whether to kiss him or smell his head." "But you kissed him?" "I did both." "And then his mother walked in." "It was awful." "This is alyoyo fault." "How is it my fault?" "Well,if you hadn't told me 20 years ago that richard was so cool," "I wouldn't have married him, and then divorced him, and then gotten fixed up by his stupid girlfriend." "I deserved that." "His mother was my age." "She might have been younger." "It was so embarrassing." "Why aren't men embarrassed?" "I'm embarrassed." "I hate classical music." "God,I love wine." "is cisisne home?" "Just one minute." "Let me check." "Are you kidding me?" "I told you!" "Smell his head!" "Men do it!" "I blame you!" "Agh,stupid richard!" "Hi,timmy." "Oh,timmy." "Perfect." "I ran away from home." "Oh,no." "Now it's perfect." "and she'S... she'S... she'S... okay,timmy,you have to breathe." "I think I'm going to go to my room." "She's just so mean,and I was having such a good time." "I really felt like I was going to go all the way with you." "Maybe just one more minute." "You know what?" "No more wine for you." "Yeah,I don't feel so good." "All I've had today is wine and fruit roll-ups." "feel like you need to throw up?" "Maybe I just need to lie down for a minute." "Poor little guy." "I can't sleep." " Who's that?" " It's mommy's friend,timmy." "Does he go to my school?" "No." "Oh,god,do you?" "Christine,I really don't feel so good." "Okay,you know what?" "I'm going to get you some ginger ale." "He gets to have ginger ale?" "Okay,I'll get you both some ginger ale." "With a curly straw?" "You have curly straws?" "Matthew,could you please come and help me?" "Do you want me to drive him around until he falls asleep?" "Shut up,and please pour the ginger ale." "I have to call timmy's mother." "Oh,why is the phone wet?" "Why are you dating a nine-year-old?" "Fair enough." "oh,richard." "Yeah,that's it." "You got it." "I think your phone is vibrating." "hello?" "Let me talk to richard." "Hello?" "Idiot." "Let me talk to new christine." "Hello?" "I know numbers don't mean anything to you, but I need timmy's phone number." "Oh,did he ditch you?" "There's another guy at work I can set you up with." "How do you feel about older men?" "Give me timmy's number!" "Where is he?" "They finally fell asleep." "You like 'em young." "That's my son." "Oh." "Cute." "Thank you for calling me." "I was worried sick about him." "He usually just goes around the block and then comes home." "But he's at that age where he wants to be independent, and I'm trying to let him,but it is so hard." "Yeah." "Ritchie was s elys." "What were you thinking?" "Oh,it was a fix-up." "My ex-husband's girlfriend doesn't see age." "She must be young." "No bra." "Timmy's father moved to arizona when he was three." "He's on his second 22-year-old." "And timmy's father needs a bra." "What are men thinking?" "It makes them feel young." "Really?" "'Cause it makes me feel old." "Yeah." "That's why I don't even go out anymor it's not worth it." "A tv,warm tub,bottle of wine - that is all I need." "Maybe we should we date." "I'm done dating." "I've given up." "Oh,I don't want to give up." "I mean,dating's horrible,but I have to keep trying." "You know,I'm not going to date 20-year-olds anymore, but I don't want to give up." "He told you he was 20?" "Please just-just take your boy and go." "oh,I hate to wake him up." "He has to be at work so early tomorrow." "I know." "Ritchie's got a math test in the morning." "Come on,sweetie pie." "Oh,he's such a big boy." "Come on,baby,time to go home." "Thank mrs." "Campbell for the nice time." "Thank you,mrs." "Campbell." "okay, just go, just go"