"[On Fire by Andy Blunda]" "♪ ♪" "♪ your love is like a river ♪" "♪ flowing through my veins ♪" "♪ your love is the fever ♪" "♪ I can't get enough ♪" "♪ I'm on fire ♪" "♪ we're on fire ♪" "♪ our love's too much ♪" "♪ for just one heart to take ♪" "[Calm music]" "♪ ♪" "Nice view." "Each person's got to have their corner." "Today's our ten-year anniversary." "Michael and I do everything with our pod, so I thought it'd be nice to start off with a little family picnic." "I would love to propose this toast to the fact that I didn't forget our anniversary..." " [Laughing]" " This year." "Congratulations on that, Michael." "Congratulations." " Yeah." " Happy anniversary." "How many years?" "Ten." " Ten years." " Wow." "Yeah, I think that's a pretty momentous thing, and-- and it-- you know, you guys are moving in right at our ten-year anniversary." "It's-- it's pretty magical." "This anniversary is different from our other anniversaries mainly because Jen and Tahl have moved in." "I'm looking forward to the change, but it's still a little bit scary." "I have something that I'd like to, um-- to give to you." " Really?" " Yeah." " Thank you." " How exciting!" "This is actually something that I put a lot of thought into." "When I first saw that he was giving me a gift," "I was a little nervous." "Gift-giving has never been his strength." "He never gets me jewelry." "Aww..." " Do you know what it is?" " Yeah." "The infinity sign in the heart." "Yeah, it's a polyamory symbol." "I hereby..." "[Laughing]" " It's really beautiful..." " Give you infinite..." " Even if you're goofy about it." " Love." "I want to spend forever with him, and ten years is just, like, the beginning." "It's a big journey, and it's amazing where we're at, celebrating it with our live-in lovers now." "I have a surprise for you too." "Oh." "It's not for public consumption, so we get to go have our private little surprise." " Even better." " Yeah." "Like, I really wanted to celebrate with you guys here, but then I really want to celebrate intimately with you." "Mmm, that's what I like the best." " Happy anniversary." " Thank you." "We love you both." "We love you, honey." "Because we have so many lovers, I think it's important that Michael and I spend this anniversary alone." "I want him to know I still find him sexy, and that he's my priority." "What do you think the surprise is?" "I don't know, but it's gonna be something" " I mean, what could it be that they haven't already done?" " Mala's creative." " I guess so." "[Laughing]" "[Peaceful music]" "♪ ♪" "There's one of the apples of my eye." "Linds!" " Huh?" " I got to go." "I need to talk to you guys real quick." "Things are going really well at the triad right now." "We're back on track, and I've decided that now's the time for the next chapter in my life." "Guys, okay, guess what." "Guess what's happening." "Yeah?" "[Chuckling]" "Uh, it's almost anniversary time." "[Squealing]" "Our anniversary and our anniversaries are so close." "And because we're doing three years," "I'd like to do one anniversary, all three of us together." "Well, we have our wedding anniversary anyway, so..." " Yeah." " Right." "You have-- right, separate-- but I mean for a triad anniversary." "The ones that involve me." "[Laughing]" " Yes." " Can we do one big three" " Yeah, I like that idea." " Yes, totally." "Okay." "We've never actually celebrated the triad anniversary." "We-- we-- we tend to celebrate them separately, and so I feel like it's time to have an anniversary date that's-- that's all three of us together." "I have something really special and awesome planned." " Already?" " Yeah, I" " Wait." " What?" "I have a big surprise for it, so just don't plan." "I'm surprising them with an anniversary dinner, and I'm also going to propose to them." "Okay, I got to go." "I got to go." "I'm meeting, uh, baby sister." "I love you." " I'll miss you." " Bye." "Bye, you guys." "What do you think she's gonna do?" "That's really cute." "[Chuckling]" "Oh, my God." "[Upbeat music]" "♪ ♪" "Today I'm meeting my younger sister Kelsey." "♪ ♪" "We really are close, we really love each other a lot, and she knows that I'm poly." "It's really important for me to feel supported by her because there's a lot going on." "So our three year anniversary is really soon." "So exciting." "Are you guys gonna do anything?" "Yeah, I'm planning, like, a big... dinner event thing." " Fun." " And, uh..." "I'm going to propose." "Wow." "[Laughter]" "Have you talked about it, or is this, like, your grand surprise?" "They have no idea." "Are you worried about it?" "What if they don't agree to it?" "If they say, "not right now," I can take it." "If they actually say, "no, we don't want to do that ever,"" "like..." ""That's not the kind of relationship we're in with you,"" "then I-- then I don't understand us anymore." " Like, you know?" " Yeah." "Like, as far as I know, this is what we're doing is life commitment." "If-- if suddenly they-- if they say no, like, when faced with the choice to do it publically or not, then that isn't what we're doing, and I need to know that too." "I haven't thought of this." "I haven't thought of this possibility that it could all come crashing down." "If they want to keep it all in the closet, it will make me angry and hurt me a lot." "But that's something that may happen." "If Anthony and Lindsey say no to me, then I have to face that I have been wrong about what we're doing." "That's the reality of it." "We should do a ceremony with her." "I mean, Jesus, we've been together for three years." "We have our own anniversary." "Our marriage anniversary." " Yeah." " And this is-- this is more about us inviting her into our marriage." "Italians get engaged, like, ten years before they get married." "I'm in no hurry after three years, talking about a ceremony." "I'm not prepared to say, "I want a ceremony,"" "because it's one thing to fantasize about something, it's another when you start taking it seriously, and then you go, "what would that mean?"" "[Calm music]" "♪ ♪" "I am going to make it an official..." "Okay." ""Tie you up and take advantage of you."" "Yay." "Most of my fantasies have my eyes open 'cause I'm a very visual person." "Like, if I'm getting a blow job," "I'd like to watch what's happening, so, um..." "I'm not getting a blow job, am I?" "[Laughing]" "In the past, we've taken the pod on wild adventures, and this one feels a little more mature, and I wanted to spice it up by making sure that it's still very romantic." "[Soft music]" "♪ ♪" "Yay, I'm really excited." "It's gonna be a fun adventure." "Hmm, yay." "[Giggling]" "Welcome to our little love nest." "Wow." " We're gonna have a romantic..." " Ooh!" "Just you and me evening." "I was really, really touched." "I did expect something a little racier because we're used to playing with-- you know, with others and hot lovers, and I didn't expect this to be as traditional as it was." "But it's almost like she's going back to our roots of initial courtship of two." "I have one more kind of surprise I want to give you." " I talked to Roxanne..." " Mm." "And she wants to have a tea and a chat..." " Mm-hmm." " To get to know you better." "So you're giving the okay for-- for Roxanne and I to have a relationship." "I mean, we're gonna start with the tea and a chat." "[Laughing] Yeah." "But, um-- but, yeah, I just want to let you know" "I'm growing and sharing all of me with all of you." " Thank you." " I love you." "Mmm, I love you." "I felt that that was the-- the most intimate thing that I could give him, to be able to share my girlfriend with my husband." "[Both moaning]" "Oh, God." "I wanted to make love to Michael in every way possible." "I wanted to tell him that there was no part of me that I was holding back from him." " I love you." " I love you." "[Sighing]" "It was beautiful to just have a hotel room with my primary lover." "And it was hot." "It really was hot." "Happy anniversary." "[Sighing]" "[Light rock music]" "♪ ♪" "Hey, sweetie." " You look handsome." " Thank you." "Got to get ready for my hot date." "[Laughing] Good." "How you feeling about it?" "What kind of rules do we have?" "Like-- like how far can we go?" "I know it's a fricking restaurant." "So the type of date that I was allowed to go on with Roxanne was a tea and chat." "Whatever feels appropriate to you guys is great." "But if it gets into, like, heavy petting of genitals or whatever, I'd love a heads-up." "So we can do everything up to sex." " Yeah." " Um..." " Then you're gonna" " And-- and we probably won't because you've set it up at a place where we can't." " [Laughing]" " So I get it." "This is the first time I've ever felt this possessive about any other lover." "You know, polyamory's about loving without limits and I have to look at why I'm uncomfortable with it." "[Joyful music]" "♪ ♪" " Hey!" " Hey." " Mwah." " Mwah." "It's good to see you." "Thank you." "You look beautiful." " Thank you." " Lemons?" "Well, they were kind of phallic." "[Laughter]" " And these are for you." " Oh!" " That's so sweet." " These are flowers." "I'm pretty excited about the date with Roxanne." "Roxanne's a beautiful woman." "I'd love to make love with her." "But it's not all about that." "I really just want to be able to have a relationship with her if that's what's going to strengthen the bonds between Kamala and I and the rest of the pod." "I have to say first I'm kind of nervous 'cause we've never done a one-on-one before." "Kamala had really wanted us to connect." "And we've been attracted to each other" " and known each other for..." " Yeah." " We've definitely had attraction." " A long time, so..." "We're, you know, kind of bringing you more into the pod." "I was starting to wonder if you were feeling excluded or" "I was, like, "I should sit down and talk with him."" "But I like how "tea and chat"" " has these undertones of..." " Something more?" ""A tea and a chat." [Laughter]" "No, I think it's just tea and it's just chat." "If it was anything more than that," "I think we'd be in trouble, so..." "I think so." "I thought it was kind of funny that I was given this date with Roxanne, but there were still restrictions on it." "I get that it was a big deal for Kamala and..." "It's something that we're working on." "I haven't heard from either of them." "What-- what time were they supposed to come back?" "Well, I mean, it's not like I gave them a curfew." "[Chuckling]" "You know, I'm not sure who I'm more, like, jealous of." "If I'm more jealous of Michael being hot to see Roxanne, or Roxanne, you know, spending time with Michael." "Like, two people you love are together, and you feel a little left out, that's all." "Whether you're monogamous or not, jealousy's gonna come up." "You have to deal with it." "We have total honesty and no drama." "But I will still feel jealousy." "That doesn't protect me." "There's always been this, like, distant board up between us, and I feel like it's completely gone right now." "This is a first step towards us just having more communication within the pod." " I love it too." " Yeah." "I'm" " I'm in." "Roxanne and I had a connection." "I'd really like to bring Roxanne into the relationship with Kamala and I, but..." "I don't think Kamala wants that." " This has been fantastic." " Thank you so much." "It was good to-- it was good to meet with you." "We'll do more tea and chats." " Absolutely." " Okay." "[Laid-back music]" "♪ ♪" "Welcome to our anniversary dinner." "Tonight's the big night." "I'm nervous." "I've planned this really elaborate anniversary surprise, and I'm proposing, and it's a little surreal." "[All speaking italian]" "Ah." "[Laughter]" "[Speaking italian]" "When I see the restaurant, it all of a sudden hits me the beauty of having a traditionally romantic moment." "Wow, we're entering the world of serious romance, and I don't know what's coming." "One thing I'd like to do, since this is three of us and three years and a special anniversary, is think about what we're doing as a triad, just thinking through our changes, what we're proud of and what we" "what we want to keep doing together." "Well, I-I don't" "I feel like you're going somewhere with this." "What I want to do is, like, perfectly pull off this, like, super-suave surprise." "But Lindsey's not relaxed and I definitely get more nervous." "There's something that I feel like is going to happen." "I don't like surprises." "I'm" " I'm just trying" "She just said she has a surprise for us." "Why do you have to be anxious about it?" "What do you think she's gonna do?" "Spring Mitt Romney on us?" "[Laughing]" "I have not been honest with you, but I have a present for you." "This is one of the most frustrating and awesome things about Lindsey is that she's so honest, it freaks her out." "Watching people be dishonest makes her uncomfortable." "I got to get this out before it hurts her." "Shit!" "Look at that!" "[Laughing]" "Everyone!" " We're all here." " Everyone!" "We're having this romantic dinner, and all of a sudden a parade of our closest friends bursts through the door." "I'm just blown away." "I brought together our, uh-- our closest friends, our family of choice." "We really can't do what we're doing without them." "Our very closest circle involves Alan and Charlotte, who are two of our closest friends and lovers." "They lived with us in the house and were monogamous at first, and they are now married and in a polyamorous relationship." "The three of you changed my life forever." "Uh..." "A year ago, Charlotte and I got married, and it would never have happened if it weren't for your just expansive love." "Are you done with the surprises?" " This is it?" " Uh, no." "I have another anniversary surprise for you." "Oh, my God." "I feel a lot of pressure, and I don't know, you know, what's going on." "[Calm music]" "♪ ♪" "Michael's home." "Hey, sweetie." "Mwah." " Present for the house." " Ooh." "How was it?" "[Chuckling]" " It was awesome." " Yeah?" " Yeah." " I want to hear about it." " [Chuckling]" " Tell me about the date." "It was really nice." "Um, thank you for setting that up." " It was beautiful." " Yeah." "She said that, you know, she has been interested in me, but she's kind of put me on the back burner..." " Mm-hmm." " Because she knew that you didn't, you know, approve." "How are you feeling about it?" " I see a..." " No, I-I" " Look on your face." " I'm sorry." "I'm feeling a little bit, um" "I just feel overwhelmed, you know?" "Mm-hmm." "I so want to be happy right now." "Mm-hmm." "I am so conflicted 'cause I'm really happy that you're getting to know her." " Mm-hmm." " I love you guys so much, and I want" " I want you guys to get closer." "I just don't want, um-- like, I don't want to be the bad guy who's, like, "hey," 'cause-- 'cause if you are both attracted to each other and you want more than a tea and a chat," "then I have to, um-- you know, I have to do more work." "[Laughter]" "After going through this experience with Roxanne," "I hope that Kamala and I are stronger." "It's part of poly is just to have these processes and to work on these things." "Actually, this makes me feel more at ease with Roxanne too, that you're getting closer to her, because I've never been able to get..." " Tahl..." " Close, so..." "One lover at a time." "[Laughter]" "You are not-- you don't have dating privileges yet." "My ideal scenario would be for me to get over being possessive about Roxanne, and to just accept wherever their natural attraction is." "Where do we go from here?" "I think it's like a breakthrough that you went out on a first date alone, and my preference would be not to have you guys keep going out alone." "I'd rather have it be inclusive." " Mm-hmm." " And..." "I'm gonna take some time, and-  and this will help us all grow." " Mm-hmm." "I'm not ready to rush into, like, a threesome or a foursome with Roxanne and Michael." "I'm proud of myself for being willing to share my girlfriend with my husband, but I'm not gonna say yes again unless I'm a "hell, yes."" "Okay, I love you." "Mmm, I love you." "[Laid-back music]" "♪ ♪" "I would like Anthony and Lindsey to stand up." "I'm not certain about what the outcome's gonna be." "I don't know how they're gonna respond, so I just try to remember that I'm certain about this." "The first thing I want to say is that" "I absolutely adore, respect, and love your marriage, your commitment to each other." "It is sacred to me." "Lindsey, I love you, and I want to spend my life with you." "Anthony, I love you, and I want to spend my life with you." "And so I'm asking you both, now in the company of our closest friends, if you will..." "Marry me too." "Holy shit." "Yes." "[Laughter]" "I'm in total overwhelmed mode, and not in a negative way." "Just totally full of emotion." "It's unbelievable." "Yes." "[Speaking italian]" "Whoo!" "[Applause]" "I'm not gonna lie and say that... it was just all pure joy." "It's scary to say yes, because life commitments are huge, but I can't imagine life without her." "[Applause]" "I'm so happy." "I'm so happy." "This is the life I want." "These might look a little strange, but that's just because they're paper." "Lindsey, this is yours." "It has an "L"" an "A," and a "V" on it." "You put it on your right ring finger as a tattoo." "Excuse me." "[Laughter]" "In Europe, where we might end up living, they wear their wedding rings on their right hand." "But then I thought about it." "You know, what if we do something really different?" "What if we tattoo the ring on?" "You can't just pull a tattoo off in a fight and throw it across the room." "The love we have is permanent, and so to demonstrate that in the world this way feels right." "Anthony, yours has an "A," a "V," and an "L."" "It will go... on your right ring finger as a tattoo." "I love the idea of different tattoos 'cause you can't go back." "I mean, this is one of the beautiful things about poly." "You get the best of both worlds." "Like, I have this stable, beautiful relationship, and the excitement of being engaged at the same time." "[Chuckling]" "We get to get married again, and we don't even have to divorce to do it." "[Chuckling]" "Are you sure?" " You're serious?" " I'm sure." "I'm really serious." "[Laughter]" "I'm just totally full of emotion and amazement." "Thank you all for coming to be here with us." "[Laughter]" "[Groovy music]" "♪ ♪" " Yes!" " No." "[Laughter] No." "I got this amazing hotel suite and invited Alan and Charlotte to come with the three of us to bond, consummate, make love with us." "You're really the only people that we're this close to, that we're lovers with, that we wanted to share this with." "So let's get naked." "[Sighs]" "We're gonna turn you into a piece of art." "Charlotte had brought these paints, and Vanessa's body's so beautiful," "I wanted to just decorate it and show her attention." "Just thank her for everything that she put into this night." "I wanted to give it back to her with some physical affection." "Does it say "wisdom" on my butt right now?" "It does." " [Laughing]" " It's always said that." " Ooh!" " Guys, this is so exciting." "[Laughing]" "You're getting married." " [Giggling]" " Married!" "Great night." "♪ ♪" "When the five of us get together, because we know each other so well, we have all kinds of different ways that we interact." "This night was particularly integrated." "We were all touching each other the whole time, which was really profound for me." "I felt totally held by that." "I love that Alan and Charlotte are here and are spending the night with us." "I am making love with my husband, my fiancee, and two of our closest friends." "How could it get better than that?" "I-I have the best of both worlds." "I can't believe tonight happened." "[Laughing]" "All five of us together, so loving and happy, it's amazing." " Congratulations." " Yeah!" "[Instrumental version of On Fire by Andy Blunda]"