"[Music playing]" "NARRATOR: (FRENCH ACCENT) Since 1939, filmmakers and film" "Lovers from all over the world have flocked to the Cannes Film" "Festival... the most prestigious of such celebrations" "To promote and worship cinema." "The mainstream media only shows the glamour," "The Hollywood styles, and the international giltterati." "But the Cannes Film Festival, it is for everyone." "For nearly 30 years, Lloyd Kaufman and the Toma Team" "Have made their annual pilgrimage" "To the center of cinematic culture" "On a very, very low budget." "At Cannes 2001, the Troma Team documented exactly how" "They promote, sell, and buy movies, hoping" "To create a how-to guide on going to Cannes" "With very, very little money." "What was supposed to be a simple, straightforward," "Educational exercise proved to be quite something else." "[Music playing]" "Troma!" "[Snoring] Oh!" "Greetings, not from Tromaville, but from John Fitzerald Kennedy" "International Airport where I'm on my way" "To the Cannes Film Festival." "You'll have to make a movie." "That's a pretty tough job." "But once you've made your movie, what do you do with hit?" "How do you sell it?" "How do you make any money on it?" "What do you do?" "I could give it to one of those giant," "Evil conglomerates who will chop it up perhaps" "And take it away from you." "Or perhaps you need to sell your own movie." "You need to only derive revenue from your own movie." "And the Cannes Film Festival is a way" "Not only to sell your movie, but to get your name around" "And to get your movie's name around." "So, as you can see, I have the Troma shopping bag." "Then I have, for example, this beautiful Troma" "Catalog to get out." "I've got the beautiful Tromadance invitation" "To the beach party, which can be given" "Out... these peanuts for the airplane" "Because we don't buy them." "We got them from the Amish market near Tromaville" "Because it's very expensive to get stuff here in the airport." "We're in the Nice airport where we made a connection." "No, we're not." "We're in the Paris airport." "You can see this is the fabulous Terminal F2." "And you can see that I haven't been able to do any networking." "Or I haven't seen any very important people yet." "But we will a soldier on." "Food from the airplane because Cannes" "Is a very expensive food town." "OK, Jean Pierre..." "Jeanne Pierre is..." "Jeanne" "Pierre is doing a... oh, oh, my." "Jeanne Pierre is doing a documentary about Troma." "And what's even more valuable is we're" "Going to get a lift from this airport to Cannes" "Because the taxis from Nice to Cannes cost about $200." "You can get a kidney transplant for what" "The taxis cost in this town." "So we've already made money." "And thanks to Jeanne Pierre here," "We have saved $200 for a taxi." "And I guess now we will proceed." "They said that they started the festival here in May" "Because in 1939, it apparently had rained" "A lot during the May months." "And what you do in a resort area that rains." "So how do you fill up the hotels?" "So they decided let's have a film festival." "Now, 54 years later the weather patterns have" "Changed with global warming." "And it's actually very warm and beautiful." "This is the world famous Croisette of Cannes." "This is the most beautiful, beautiful" "Esplanade which..." "Which runs along" "The entire town of Cannes." "It hugs the water." "And where do we who are doing business choose to walk?" "Well, of course, we walk on the ugly side of the boulevard" "So that we can then hopefully run" "Into important business people." "And if you keep your eyes open, you just" "Might see independent film executives like me performing" "Full swallow blow jobs right here on the Croissette" "In order to get our movies licensed" "To various international territories." "So where do you stay when you're at Cannes because Cannes" "Is very expensive?" "And especially during the festival." "It is sometimes better to stay in an apartment," "Which is a lot less expensive." "There is our apartment..." "A rather simple place." "It's still ridiculously expensive." "But on the other hand, it is lovely to get up in the morning" "And have this magnificent view." "Do you remember those pastries from the airplane?" "Well, there they are." "That's the breakfast we had." "This is the Martinez Hotel." "There are three major hotels... the Carlton," "Where Troma is situated, the Majestic, and the Martinez." "Very important people mainly hang out at those three hotels." "And, of course, there is there is" "The fabulous Cap d'Antibes the Hotel du Cap," "Which only takes cash." "You have to sign up for two weeks." "That's where people like Harvey Weinstein" "Will stay... the really important people." "For about 25 years, we've had offices." "We rent hotel rooms in the Carlton Hotel." "And that's where we do business." "And you show trailers and excerpts from your movies." "And sometimes you even screen the movies" "For the people who buy movies who" "Come from all over the world to Cannes" "To buy distribution rights to movies." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Sure." "WOMAN:" "Sorry, I didn't see you." "Thanks, Count, I'm a college student as well." "I am wondering." "As far as your company goes, do you..." "Do you... is it large enough to support itself" "In different departments?" "We have about a total of 30 people." "We're headquartered in New York on 50th Street and 9th Avenue." "And then we have a small office in LA." "And we have about 30 young volunteers who came to Cannes" "From different countries." "They all came here on their own." "They paid their way." "We let them stay in our apartment." "And so we have sort of a Troma crash" "Pad that's... it's actually a real," "Real world going on. [Laughter]" "And I filmed it this morning." "And it is real." "We have 30 to 40 volunteers coming from all over the world" "Working for free." "The volunteers are very key in promoting Troma" "Because we don't have the money to pay for advertising all" "These magazines and billboards." "So if we don't have any money for advertising," "We certainly don't have money to pay for employees to fly out" "To France and stay in France." "That's why we have one hotel room that everyone sleeps in." "So this is the..." "Uh, Troma's crash pad" "Where the Troma team has the very," "Very luxurious accommodations." "This is where the Troma team lives." "Look how nice." "This is a place that's probably made for about four people." "And I guess it's probably got about 30." "Anyway, Troma Entertainment is 27 years old." "It's the oldest intact movie studio in the world." "We've been coming to the Cannes Film Festival" "Over..." "I guess 27 years, right?" "27 years, yeah?" "Something like that." "And, um, we have the lovely Tromettes..." "Tromettes." "Whoo!" "She's all beautiful, huh?" "This is uh..." "I like the beauty." "This is called marketing techniques... marketing" "Techniques..." "Troma..." "Troma." "It's very important that people see the name of your product..." "What you're pitching." "And you have to go out and make noise." "You have to be seen." "If you want to promote your film," "You have to go out and be like, Troma!" "See look... see look." "The Troma." "See all those cameras." "It's because we're idiots!" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Who..." "Do you speak English?" "Yeah." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "When did you discover Troma?" "I discoverd Troma 20 years ago at the Cannes Film Festival." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "And do you have a Troma" "Movie that's your favorite?" "Yeah, I like "Sergeant Kabukiman"" "And the "Toxic Avenger."" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "And why do you like Troma movies?" "Because it's crazy." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "We are now preparing" "For the daily parade..." "The big parade." "So we will be more beloved by the people." "Ah oh!" "The cameras are exactly opposite the doors of the hotel." "So come straight out." "But give the cameras a chance to get ahead of you so they" "Can do what they have to do." "Troma!" "So the parade is... the Troma Parade is going on behind me." "This is a way that we get the people's attention." "We use the Troma Parade both to promote the spirit" "Of independent cinema." "And at the same time we are able to get some publicity" "So that we can sell our movies." "Warner Brothers spends who knows how much money per movies." "And we basically are doing it on absolutely nothing." "I believe I hear the Troma music now." "The Troma musicians..." "I think..." "That's the Troma song, yeah!" "That's the "All the Love You Cannes" song." "[Music playing]" "(SINGING) All the love you Cannes." "Follow us to the [inaudible]." "Ladies and gentlemen, please come!" "Come with us!" "Drop your phone." "Just come with us." "Troma!" "Lord Kaufmann is here [inaudible] is here." "Think about where you're going because you" "Could be having a lot more fun if you follow us!" "[Whistle]" "[Crowd sounds]" "Don't just stand there." "Go to the promenade!" "MAN:" "One, two, three, four, Troma!" "Troma!" "Troma!" "Troma!" "Troma!" "[Whistles] [cheers]" "Are you coming to the film festival?" "Did you come because you wanted to see independent cinema?" "The only place you're going to see independent cinema." "[Music playing]" "See, we've got some people that are coming to see the movie." "They are coming to see the movie, right?" "[Cheers]" "Yeah, bye, bye, Mad Cowboy." "What your tail!" "What your tail!" "Now we lost Mad Cowboy." "We just make our movies the way we" "Want to make them..." "No bullshit, stupid" "Fucking Hollywood ending." "We want blood." "We want... we want drama." "That's what we want." "And that's what we're bringing to the table." "Troma!" "Troma!" "Troma dance." "Troma dance." "Troma dance." "Troma!" "Troma!" "CAMERAMAN:" "What just happened, Jen?" "And degrade myself as a woman and have no respect for myself." "CAMERAMAN:" "Why?" "I don't know." "CAMERAMAN:" "Tell me why." "I just feel like a piece of meat." "Like, it's just really weird..." "like all" "The cameras are on like me." "And it was just kind of freaking me out, yeah." "Like everybody was just staring at me." "Like, I could see all those like little circles fucking" "Just like looking at me." "And it was just like scariest thing, dude." "CAMERAMAN:" "What just happened?" "Well, we just had an experience on the Croisette" "Like you can't believe." "These kids... do you see that mark?" "The mark of a lollipop." "They threw things at me." "I mean, the threw things at us." "Thank god they were just suckers and bananas and things." "And they were grabbing us from every which way." "It was very dangerous." "[Cheers]" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "MAN (ON MEGAPHONE):" "Back off." "Back off, guys, unless you're [inaudible]." "Hey!" "MAN (ON MEGAPHONE):" "[inaudible] thanks a lot." "This is the Troma office at the Carlton Hotel." "This is where Michael Dwyer..." "Michael Dwyer is speaking with." "He's trying to sell movies." "But unfortunately, Michael has to deal with this." "This is going on at the same time." "So part of what we're doing is Michael" "Is talking to international buyers... people" "From France, Spain, Japan..." "Kaula Lumpure." "CAMERAMAN:" "Where?" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Kuala Lumpur, incredible... the capital" "Of piracy." "They're selling there." "Excellent!" "Very good." "[Cheers]" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Tetsu Fujimora, everybody." "Servant of gaga communication!" "[Cheers] Tetsu!" "Welcome to Tromaville!" "He's your father." "He created Kabukiman." "How are you?" "I'm all right, yourself?" "So we finished "Citizen Toxie Part Four"" "Yeah, I heard." "Any hope we can get distribution in Japan?" "I hope." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure." "No, really, seriously, you don't have to worry." "Is it true?" "Can we get anyone to distribute it?" "I mean, we can distribute..." "We can distribute it." "So it looks good?" "Any theatrical?" " It's a question of..." " It's a theatrical." "Theatrical." "Yeah, it's a question of when." "Oh, OK." "So we are trying to talk about selling "Citizen Toxie..." "Toxic"" ""Avenger IV" to Japan." "And this is going on." "Many of these people, uh..." "[Opera singing]" "The people behind me are the distributors of Troma in Sweden" "And Mike Dwyer is currently showing" "Them various trailers of movies that we are coming" "Out with here at the festival." "After we have discussed with the clients," "Then we sign contracts." "This is a contract." "This is a typical contract." "It's very simple." "It's a very, very simple contract." "This one is with... this is with Indonesia..." "Indonesia." "Advances are usually paid maybe 10% in advance." "So you can see the intense..." "You can see that there is" "Intense negotiation going on behind me between Mike" "Dwyer and Mr. Lu's company." "It looks like we're going to make a deal here." "And a Big Tasty is part of the deal." "Big Tasty is presenting a very wonderful climate" "In which to do business." "This man here... he is buying movies for Germany and India." "What's your name?" "My name is Harish." "Harish." "So welcome to Tromaville." "And sit down here." "And we will, um, we'll get a list of what is available." "So now we are having the best of Troma dance." "We're showing the best of Troma dance." "Some of the young directors will be here." "And hopefully, some buyers or investor" "Types or journalists or someone will" "Come in and discover somebody." "Welcome to the best of Tromadance" "And the finest selections of truly independent cinema." "We are out of Park City, Utah, right here." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "And, of course, if you look carefully," "You'll see that within all this, Mike" "Dwyer is selling a man movies." "And this man is buying movies for, very" "Logically, India and Germany, which is a perfect combination." "Mike Dwyer has to take his meetings." "He's out in the hall." "He's meeting with a buyer at this very minute." "I don't blame him one bit." "What's that?" "What' s that, Mike?" "It's money from Malaysia from a deal I just did." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Is that pocket money?" "Cash money." "It's maybe for Troma, not for me." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "So what did you sell to them?" "A package of 23 pictures." "This is just a deposit." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "That's a deposit." "Ooh!" "It's $2,200." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Wow!" "Excellent." "One of the interesting phenomenon of going to Cannes" "On business where you're trying to sell your movies" "To international distributors is that you cannot get..." "You don't get the same movies." "You would think at the Cannes Film Festival" "You'd get the C movies... impossible." "And even you... even if you had the time" "After 30 years in the film business," "Troma is not allowed to even... well." "Troma is not even allowed to get tickets." "We can't even get tickets, even though we take a booth." "Even though I've been there for all this time," "It's impossible to get tickets to anything good." "So it's probably the only film festival I go to where" "I actually do not see movies." "So what we do at Cannes is in addition to selling movies," "We try to get attention." "So here we have RTL." "RTL would probably not going to be too interested" "In an ugly, old person like me." "But because Troma is kind of interesting," "RTL, which was a major French network is here." "Hopefully, we raise the awareness" "Of Troma at Cannes and France because it's difficult to sell" "Movies to France." ""Citizen Toxie..." "Toxic Avenger IV"" "Is a shot by shot reconstruction of the great classic" "By Orson Welles, "Citizen Kane," and some of the other themes" "Of "Citizen Toxie" typically." "Incredible." "There's abortion." "And there's people shitting and pissing themselves." "Oh, that's a small theme... a very small theme." "But "Citizen Toxie" will be..." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "We're doing an interview..." "An interview for French radio." "The lady is phoning it in." "And it's going to be on French radio." "[Speaking french]" "What do you think?" "CAMERAMAN:" "About the movie?" "Oui. [Speaking french]" "One of the purposes of having this booth is to get publicity." "So many cameras come here." "There's media from all over the world." "And something's going on behind me." "It looks like Scott McKinley from the Troma," "Los Angeles office is being interviewed" "About perhaps it may be the Troma recycling project." "We put recycle bins in the American" "Pavilion, which is sort of the center of activity" "Here at the festival." "At least the Americans like to think so." "So anyone who is making a movie could easily come to Cannes on" "His or her own and by coming up with a little energy" "Get worldwide publicity because there are thousands of cameras" "Here." "And they are all looking for a story." "Scott McKinley's job was raising the money" "To have Troma come to Cannes." "Scott McKinley would raise money like nobody's business." "I don't have time to do that." "Scott would get the money together for us to have" "Our party and come to Cannes." "And it wouldn't cost us anything." "CAMERAMAN:" "Look at that..." "Look at that guy go." "Ladies and gentlemen." "CAMERAMAN:" "The Toxic Avenger." "Ooh, that was eerie." "It is without further ado that I would think" "Kodak, the Academy, Lloyd Kaufman, Michael Harris, Yaniv," "And of course, Doug Sakmann." "See this?" "When I used to come to Cannes in 1971, there were no such thing." "But now you have this because the problem" "With the Cannes Film Festival is it is very hard to communicate." "It's a big, long Croisette." "So this little thing here although it's" "Very expensive because you have to get a French one." "And they really rip you off during the Cannes Film" "Festival." "It's worth having, even if you are on a budget." "Don't eat and have this because you will save a lot of time." "And you will also be able to do more" "Business with a little phone because you" "Can call anyone you wish." "Also, you'll see a lot of people on the phone" "At like 3:00 in the morning trying to look important." "So if you have nothing to do, you walk around on this." "You walk down the street as if you're talking" "To somebody on the cellphone." "And it's very impressive." "And another thing, Michael." "I don't like your tie, oh, just joking." "CAMERAMAN:" "It's not actually on." "Now, it's very important to go to a lot of parties" "Because that's how you can promote yourself." "You go to parties." "You can promote your movies." "You can promote yourself." "And you get a chance to get some free booze or more free booze" "And perhaps get lucky with a cheap woman" "And some cheap booze." "So behind us is one of those parties." "And we have managed to wrangle and invitation." "So at any rate, we will go in." "And hopefully we'll meet some buyers" "And be able to sell some Troma movies" "To different territories." "I used this fake press pass." "This is a bogus press pass that gets me into these parties." "And this is a good thing for you to have." "If you look, and if this doesn't work... if this doesn't work," "Then we use this one." "This one definitely works." "So next time you read about Patrick Swayze peeing" "In the punch bowl... ah, ah, ah." "This is a fairly fancy party." "This is the party for the Marche du Film." "And the only reason that people like me get" "Invited..." "low-class riff raff... is because we" "Pay money for screenings here." "To screen your movie, it costs about $800" "For a lousy screening with shit projection." "But what can you do?" "And what's important, of course, is that there hopefully" "Will be film buyers here so I can grovel and fellate and do" "Whatever is necessary to sell "Citizen Toxie,"" "Or "Terror Firmer" or "Tromeo and Juliet."" "The man you are looking at now is Jerome Pallade." "He is the boss of the Marche du Film." "And that lady..." "This lady here is" "The director of the festival." "She does all the nuts and bolts of the actual festival itself." "So ABC television is here to do some story about Cannes" "And how movies are sold here." "So John, this is the fourth Toxic Avenger movie." "When you came here 15 years ago, I think we had just made" "The first Toxic Avenger movie." "Really?" "Smokey, can you tell John where the bathroom is?" "This is the great John Stossel I recognize from America." "That would be me." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Play the "All the Love You Cannes" bathroom" "Music." "[Music playing]" "SMOKULA: (SINGING) All the love you can." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Can you show him with Suzie?" "Because there's no toilet in that place." "SMOKULA:" "This is why you the Toxic Avenger." "Ah, this is a standing event, though." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Oh, OK." "I think we just blew any chance we have to be on "20/20."" "CAMERAMAN:" "What's the show going to be about?" "Promotion?" "Selling." "CAMERAMAN:" "What other studios are you guys [inaudible]?" "Uh, we went to [inaudible]." "Went to that [inaudible]." "I don't even..." "I'm too movie clueless to even" "Know the names of the studios." "CAMERAMAN:" "This is Arban, by the way, who" "Stars in the new Tromo movie." "And this is Mr. John Stossel." "Hi, pleased to meet you." "WOMAN:" "If you have any issues, we have our camera" "Right now, if you don't mind." "CAMERAMAN:" "All right, all right, yeah, sure, sure." "WOMAN:" "Not to be rude." "Yes, we are just doing a little bit with you" "And sort of bear in mind for your self-promotion here." "Our show is not going to be about Tromo." "But this is about selling." "OK" "Any insights you have... and you have about selling and even" "About some of the crazy things you've seen" "Other people to do to get attention and what" "Works and what doesn't." "You should give us some warning because maybe" "We can get Dolphin Man here." "And I mean, do you want the..." "Do you want to the characters" "Because since you met us last we have created new superheroes..." "Dolphin Man, Killer Condom Man, Sergeant Kabukiman, NYPD." "And the purpose is to make people aware of you, right?" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Yeah, it's the old-fashioned..." "It's called showmanship, something that many people" "In our business have forgotten." "[Music playing]" "(SINGING) All the love you Cannes." "All the love you Cannes." "All the love, all the love you Cannes." "So you come with all this stuff and just... and people put you" "In the newspaper." "And that sells movies?" "Troma has been here since 1971." "JOHN STOSSEL:" "And nobody has heard of you" "Despite all this fancy stuff." "You know why?" "Because the movie business is a cartel." "Troma owns 850 movies." "The Toxic Avenger is a household word." "And a cartel is running what we hear and see and smell." "But thanks to Troma at Cannes we do a lot of selling." "This is called showmanship..." "Troma showmanship." "Do you have trouble getting people to dress" "Up in these hot outfits." "People do it for free." "People volunteer." "Dolphin Man... do you make money doing this?" "No, no, no." "But I enjoy it." "It's a lot of fun, you know?" "People are learning the movie business." "And the movie business is being run" "As a private preserve for the elite..." "Put the Clinton, Reagan, Nixon axis." "Sieg heil!" "Sieg heil!" "And there are lot of young people out there" "Who both want to make money buying" "And selling wonderful art as well as enjoying it." "You're selling with your breast." "It's not embarrassing." "It's not really so much selling." "It's just kind of like a billboard" "Or like a flashing light..." "Like a strobe light." "What are breasts for?" "They are mine." "I do what I want with them, OK?" "I use my brain, my breast, my pussy... everything I've got." "People have hard of Universal." "They have heard of MGM Nobody has heard of Troma despite you" "Guys making fools of yourself." "YANIV SHARON:" "That's because MGM and Universal" "Spend millions and millions of dollars" "To just make their movies." "And we..." "Many hits do we get a month?" "YANIV SHARON:" "Almost 1,100." "No, no, we get... we get..." "Does this hype work to sell films?" "CROWD:" "Yeah!" "Troma!" "Troma!" "Troma!" "Troma!" "Troma!" "YANIV SHARON:" "John, were you guy who" "Did the show on racism that aired about a month" "Ago or so on ABC?" "Uhh." "YANIV SHARON:" "Racism, like in Hollywood, I remember." "You went on a college campus, I think," "And they just like they spoke so loudly" "And they like booed you out." "It's about free speech." "YANIV SHARON:" "Yeah, that was it." "That was it." "It's about not being allowed to speak freely." "It wasn't about racism." "YANIV SHARON:" "Right, OK, yeah." "I really like that show." "I was watching it doing some work at home." "[Music playing]" "And I thought it went rather well." "Thank you." "YANIV SHARON:" "Good for you, man." "I liked it too." "YANIV SHARON:" "That shit was awesome." "All right." "Better be careful at Brown University." "YANIV SHARON:" "All right, take care, man." "Can I get a picture with you?" "CAMERAMAN:" "Yo, Yaniv." "You got anything to say to the New York patrolman in New York" "Right now?" "It's Times Square all over again, baby, in France." "YANIV SHARON:" "Action!" "[Screams]" "[Screams]" "Oh, my god!" "Oh, my fucking god!" "[Screams]" "MAN:" "Yaniv, come back." "Come back, Yaniv!" "WOMAN:" "You lost your wallet!" "You lost your wallet!" "How do you feel at this moment?" "This moment I'm feeling very relaxed." "It's [inaudible]." "It's directed by Lloyd Kaufman." "[Inaudible]" "[Music playing]" "This is nuts." "CAMERAMAN:" "Yaniv, how was it?" "Oh, it was awesome." "I really would like to get dressed now." "OK, get me to the Canal+ thing." "Can you bring my shit?" "Thank you." "So tell us how you met the Troma." "I met Troma in Cannes because every time there" "Was a very big problem in front of hotel or parties," "But a very sexy problem, it was made by Troma." "So I wanted to be part of these sexy moments." "LLOYD KAUFMAN: [speaking french]" "I think I had a very, very good and big part." "It was shot in Brooklyn with a lot of work and drama" "And [inaudible] and friendship." "Perfect thank you." "Thank you." "Merci, Edward Bael, tu la mon!" "Merci." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Anything in those bins?" "Open it up." "Nice." "YANIV SHARON:" "Everybody here it is in action." "Here it is in action." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Oh, let's see." "YANIV SHARON:" "She doen't even know." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "OK I see." "YANIV SHARON:" "She's stepping up as a student" "Naively and scores!" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Nice!" "Beautiful." "YANIV SHARON:" "Well done." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Very nice." "You can see behind me." "You meet all sorts of interesting people." "And so as a filmmaker, you may get" "Great ideas here, even though you were here on business." "For example, I got the idea to make" "What Toxic Avenger a good guy." "It was right here at Cannes." "So it's a very inspiring place to be." "And you have the wonderful people" "Like this who are PhDs and now want to throw it all away" "And act in a Troma movie." "So what is your... what is your ambition now?" "I am si... singer." "I sing." "(SINGING) My Bonnie is over the ocean." "My Bonnie is over the sea." "My Bonnie is over the ocean." "Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me." "Bring back, bring back, oh, bring" "Back my Bonnie to me, to me." "Bring back way back." "Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me, to me." "Thank you, bye, bye." "CAMERAMAN:" "What's going on?" "She's very upset because Jean Claude is coming." "Clear out, now." "Because the Toxic Avenger is here." "CAMERAMAN:" "We got to clear out." "Who's coming?" "Yeah, but when he come though, and when he comes," "Though, this can't go on." "YANIV SHARON:" "Who Jean Claude?" "Don't worry about it." "He's all coked up anyway." "He won't even now." "Get to a corner." "And just don't all this, OK?" "Clear to a corner, and you guys can stay." "But don't do any of this." "We would take them." "But they want to take their photograph... they're" "Famous drama action heroes." "Of course everybody wants their photograph." "So..." "It's fine right now." "But when he comes, this is not going to be fine." "Oh, here he is." "[Cheers]" "MAN:" "Oh, what the fuck is that?" "Terrible." "What the fuck are we all doing here." "We make choices." "This is fucking shit." "Crazy." "CAMERAMAN:" "What did you think?" "Of that?" "CAMERAMAN:" "Yeah" "I thought that was ass." "Jean Claude... boo." "The Troma Team has is the best." "We beat Jean Claude!" "[Inaudible] Troma!" "Troma!" "We challenged Claude Jean to a fight." "And he went away like a baby." "Victorious!" "[Roar]" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Anyway, we've been having a little... we've" "Been having a bit of a contretemps with Warner" "Brothers across the hall because they seemed to be" "Upset with the fact that the Troma people might actually" "Be having a little bit of fun." "One day the security people came up and were showing" "The some movies to some buyers." "And the security people just came and shut the TV off." "They didn't even say would you mind shutting them down." "They've got three rooms on the water there," "Which is very expensive." "And they don't seem to have the sales office." "It all seems like it's press office and executive offices." "Here's how the Warner Brothers people work." "Here's the connection." "Here's the dog." "He says, look how nice." "Look at the office." "On the ocean side... so nice... beautiful breeze." "And look who's here." "Oh, it even has a market pass." "It even has a Warner Brothers... the dog even" "Has a Warner Brothers market pass... incredible." "[Dog barking]" "The dog seems to like me." "[Speaking french]" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "The dog seems..." "The dog seems to like me." "Hi, doggy." "[Dog barks] Hi, doggy." "You're not so pleased to see me, Llloyd." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "What?" "When I saw you dead, it was delightful." "We wanted to see... wanted to see the "Terror Firmer."" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "You want to see it here?" "Yeah." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "You want to watch." "Come and watch." "So Ariel, we're going to show your scene in "Terror Firmer."" "I think you'll like it." "I hope it's a bit intellectual." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Good right?" "You like?" "What?" "Excuse me, there's a problem here." "I mean, no." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "It's excellent." "I'm sorry." "It's not good Lloyd." "I mean, we wanted what was that?" "We were supposed to make some art." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Well..." "And what have you done?" "Couldn't you put back of the scene" "Where I am in Venice and talking about getting old, and um," "And poetry with a young boy." "And we are going on the canal." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "We wanted to." "There's this strange music." "There was that other scene where I was" "Kind of interpretating space." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "The interpretative dancing, yep." "And after there was all this..." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Yes?" "People from Yale University talking about mathematics," ""Zarathustra."" "You're not making movies, Lloyd." "You're making shit." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Oh!" "[Speaking french] You ask him?" "When he gets in?" "Ooh!" "[Dog barking] Oooh!" "[Dog barking]" "[Speaking french]" "LLOYD KAUFMAN: [speaking french]" "[Dog barking]" "That's enough, huh?" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "What?" "Keep your dog in your place." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Yeah." "No, you shut up." "Go away." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Oh!" "You go away." "Your dog was in our place." "We are nice people." "We like the dog." "It's a very nice dog." "So I think as a shareholder, I will write some kind" "Of a letter to the powers that be at AOL-SlimeWarner" "And complain about the use of shareholder money" "For hags with dogs." "Now, have you seen any good films?" "I've seen some excellent films." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "What did you like?" "I like all of them." "YANIV SHARON:" "You haven't seen "Terror Firmer."" "If the rest of this festival could only get" "Up to the standard of Troma." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Quentin, Lloyd Kaufamn, Troma." "QUENTIN TARANTINO:" "Oh, hey Lloyd, how you doing?" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Nice jacket." "QUENTIN TARANTINO:" "I appreciate it." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Yeah, it looks good... nice." "QUENTIN TARANTINO:" "It's great to see you, man." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Uma Thurman, and of course," "Quentin Tarantino, Ethan Hawke, and, uh, some other people." "So it seems there's a problem." "Doug Sakmann, who is the, uh, brain" "Trust of this organization." "Doug Sakmann has been banned from the Carlton." "Doug redefined obnoxious in Cannes 2001." "I mean, dug himself redefines obnoxious." "Me and... me and John... we were going to come in because we" "Were going to see if Doug was up here at, you know," "See if what we're going to do that night." "And we tried to come up." "And there's some big French get together... tuxedo," "Black tie, and all that." "And we tried to get in with, you know, badges ablaze." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Then what happened?" "And they said we had to wait for the reception to end." "And then they kept saying a few minutes." "But I mean, there in the lobby." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "They wouldn't let you in the office." "They wouldn't let us go through the lobby just to go upstairs." "And I just like cut through." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Then what happened?" "No, where did he spit it?" "Where was he when he spit it?" "Where was it he spit it?" "And there was good publicity at least for Troma?" "But were there any Troma signs or anything?" "How do you know..." "How would people" "Know this is a Troma thing?" "So it may have been all for nought." "I'm outside the Troma office." "See I have this as this badge." "It says I can get anywhere..." "VIP access." "I shouldn't even need a pass to get my own..." "look at me." "Am I not recognizable?" "I mean, I'm a police officer for Christ sakes." "And they will not let me into my own hotel." "And I think part of my task at Cannes" "As much as anything else was to sort of" "Clean up after the Troma Team." "Hey, guys." "Fine." "Go down there." "I will." "I will." "I will go down there." "If I had a nickel for everybody that came up to me after they" "Had some sort of encounter publicly or privately with Doug" "An d said what is that guy's problem and what is his deal, I" "Would have like $0.20 or $0.25." "I went down and sucked off the manager of the Carlton" "And he permitted Kabukiman to come into the Carlton finally." "And it was the manager..." "The head guy was nice enough" "To go to security and permit Sergeant Kabukiman" "NYPD to enter the Carlton." "But Kabukiman must behave." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Who knows where American Pavilion is?" "Does anybody know where the American Pavilion is?" "Where is the American Pavilion Kabukiman?" "This way." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "That way." "OK." "Troma." "Ah!" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Oh, that way." "This way." "This way." "This way." "Come on." "Come on." "This way." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Oh, no." " It's this way." "It's this way, Lloyd." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Oh, OK thank you Kabukiman, you really..." "No, it's this way." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "You really know Cannes." "OK, I'm going to be, oh, sorry." "Yeah, so I've got to go in and do this pitch." "So forgive me, I'm going to go in, OK?" "All right, Troma!" "Troma!" "Troma!" "Troma!" "Troma!" "We have a press conference." "Come on." "Let's go." "Press conference... we got a press conference." "Let's go to press conference." "Press conference." "We have a Troma press conference in here." "Troma." "Troma." "Troma." "Troma." "Yes!" "Yes!" "It's our press conference." "There are two guys from your..." "But there's more of us." "Troma!" "We have a press conference." "Important... important press conference." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Do you have..." "Don't you have a market pass?" "Yeah, look." "Yeah, look, I do." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "So why can't you come in?" "I don't know." "Our press conference is in there." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "NARRATOR:" "Well, let's get Jenna in." "Who cares about Kabukiman?" "We want Jenna anyway." "In there." "Not here." "It's not here." "It's in there." "Why are we here, not there?" "We have a press conference." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "I got to go do the pitch." "Ah!" "Troma!" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Doug, Doug, Kabukiman... be careful." "Troma!" "Ah!" "Troma!" "Apparently, the Troma team was not permitted" "Into the American Pavilion." "I can't imagine why." "But the guards here felt that we are not allowed to go" "To our own press conference." "What can you do?" "But nonetheless, I think they're making a very good statement" "Beyond the walls of the what they call" "The international prison camp." "They're good at building fences in France." "They did it around many Jewish people." "In the interest of independent art," "The students await your esteemed arrival." "Yes, sir, you're right." "I am a very irresponsible old man." "And I apologize." "And I'm getting very bitter about the lack of freedom" "For independent cinema!" "The American Pavilion sponsors student who come to Cannes" "Because the young people are supposed to pay their dues" "And suffer." "And Mr. Roger Corman..." "A friend of mine" "And a major influence on the history of Troma." "There would be no Troma without Mr. Corman's example" "And inspiration and was kind enough to talk to us a bit" "About the development of new, young, talented writers," "Directors, producers." "We feel that the Cannes Film Festival" "May have gotten a little bit too involved" "With the establishment." "And I think Troma has survived by being on the extreme side." "We're trying to go beyond whatever the majors are doing" "And try to be out there in space a bit further." "I would say a Troma movie is 1% or 100%" "Beyond most other films." "But for a low budget film, you can follow" "Your individual thoughts." "And you can find a niche market." "And you can succeed, I think, much better," "Which means you have a greater opportunity to do an individual" "And possibly breakthrough film." "And the problem is that the major studios now are permitted" "To own movie theaters." "So it's very hard to get a new film" "Into the public consciousness or even" "Into the critics' consciousness." "It is clearly possible to make good work with the majors" "If you can maintain control over your picture." "And that's really the ultimate." "I think festivals, established festivals, such as Cannes" "Are important." "And I see Jerry Rudes." "Who has the Avignon Festival." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Jerry Rudes in the room... in the house." "[Applause]" "And I think particularly festivals such as Avignon" "And the other smaller festivals around the world" "Are doing a very important job of bringing" "New films and new filmmakers to the public's attention." "And Troma, Roger Corman, will spread the vibrations" "Of audacity and originality and Shakespeare's premise" "That to thine own self be true." "And hopefully we will all go out on a major crusade" "From this very room known as the American Pavilion. [Applause]" "What I see Troma doing in Cannes." "I saw Troma in Cannes, you know, handing out a lot of flyers." "This the world premiere with French subtitles." "World premiere... and it's going to be worldwide." "Troma is always worldwide." "And this is the biggest movie Troma has ever made." "It's the return of the Toxic Avenger after 15 years." "Generally, a lot of public drunkenness" "At inappropriate hours of the day ostensibly attracting" "Publicity, but ultimately just, again, just generally offending" "People and, you know, causing people to sort of question" "The whole existence and how does the Troma machine" "Continue to somehow chug along." "No, I drink responsibly." "I always drink responsibly." "And one thing I can say, I've never" "Gotten so drunk to the point where" "I didn't know what I was doing." "And I choked one of my co-workers, you know?" "Let me say that again because that" "Was a little bit too drunk." "Ah!" "Oh!" "MAN:" "Don't fall!" "The Aroma du Troma" "MAN:" "Oh, aroma, OK." " Fuck!" " Fuck you!" "Fuck!" "Fuck you!" " Fuck you!" " Fuck you!" " Fuck you!" " Fuck you!" "Come on." "Come on." "You hit me." "What?" "Parlez vous Ingles?" "Parlez vous Ingles, please." "Ingles?" "Parlez vous Ingles?" "Ah, I hate you." "Don't be an asshole." "Stop being an asshole." "Come on." "You're not going to drink that, are you?" "How much?" "How much?" "Money?" "Money?" "You want money?" "Yeah, yeah, hit me." "Hit me." "Here we are in France and the locals" "Aren't really too friendly, if you know what I mean." "Hey!" "Dance!" "Dance!" "Raise the roof." "Raise the roof, oh, yeah." "Whoo!" "What's your name?" "I am..." "I am Sergeant Kabukiman, NYPD." "And I have a movie." "Really?" "Screening right over there." "[Inaudible]" "This is where our movie is screamed." "We haven't seen any films yet." "In production, huh?" ""Citizen Toxie."" "This is crazy." "Look at this shit." "Sergeant Kabukiman NYPD." "And this is my evil twin." "See what Doug doesn't understand" "Is that there are sponsors that give money to the Troma" "To put on the event and to generate publicity via Troma" "Making noise at these events." "But they also aren't necessarily interested in doing it" "And being associated with the way" "Doug thinks it should be done." "Ah!" "Ah!" "Ah!" "Ah!" "Ah!" "Ahh!" "You're flailing yourself about in the concrete" "While we're all hoping that a wayward Vespa will come along" "And squash Doug's head like a grapefruit" "And make Troma look like public fools." "CAMERAMAN:" "Hello, Claude, you have" "To meet... [speaking french]" "That guy behind me is John Reiber." "He's the head programmer for E!" "Entertainment." "And thanks to him Troma is featured on E!" "More often than not." "[Gunfire]" "All right, you fucking retards." "Drop your tacos or I'll blow your brains out. [Laughs]" "Like so." "CAMERAMAN:" "So quiet." "So quiet." "You mix it up." "CAMERAMAN:" "You've got the guts." "You've got the poo." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Make sure that people" "Understand to take the poster that's from "Citizen Toxie."" "The two of you are arm and arm." "Right." "That we are... we want to... we are calling" "Attention to the great American pastime" "Of students shooting students." "This is the opening scene." "The great American pasttime..." "A little slice of Americana." "Where is it?" "Where is it at?" "Don't spill anything on the Carlton floor, please." "Don't spill it." "We got... we got... the Carlton charged us" "$1,500 for blood on the carpet, not in here" "I think, but somewhere else." "I said it was dog urine." "But they wouldn't believe me." "But it's a $1,500 bill we got." "So we got to be careful." "MAN:" "Last year?" "No, this year." "It just came in." "CAMERAMAN:" "Why do they think it's us?" "What would leave them to believe that?" "Because it's blood and fecal matter." "But we can... we're going to try to blame it on that dog." "I'm sure it's his... the Warner Brothers dog." "The movie starts in 15 minutes everybody." "All right, we got to go." "We got to go... got to go." "We're going to go out and be retarded for a little bit." "And we're going to come out and be like, all right," "You fucking retards." "Drop your tacos or I'll blow your brains out." "It's springtime." "Get this one." "Kill him." "Fucking kill him." "All right, where's the other retard... the other retard." "Get out there [inaudible]." "And that's where we'll be." "That's right." "That's what you get." "He's dead." "Dead, you retard." "Get up." "Hey, he got back up." "Oh!" "Ahhh!" "Ahhh!" "Ahh, I can't help the way I am." "Ha!" "Ha!" "Ha!" "Ah!" "Ah!" "Ahh!" "Ahh!" "CAMERAMAN:" "We're just going to leave that there?" "Yep." "CAMERAMAN:" "A little present for France." "We're going right now to the second screening of "Citizen"" "Toxie:" "The Toxic Avenger IV."" "And everybody has been talking about it at Cannes..." "The Cannes Film Festival." "And it's all about the grassroots promotion." "And this is the opening scene of "Citizen"" ""Toxie" we've reenacted." "It's to hook people in because they want to see" "What happens next, you know?" "Ahh!" "[Cheers]" "[Applause]" "And once again... once again it is sold out." "Looking good." "It looks like it's a hit in France." "We're big in France." "We're probably bigger than Jerry Lewis, right Toxie?" "Rah!" "So we have another problem..." "Doug has been banned once again" "From the Troma office apparently because when" "He was filming for E!" "Entertainment, some blood got on the floor of the Carlton," "Not on the floor, but on the outside... on the marble" "Where the cars come in." "The other problem is the hotel has now charged" "Us over $2,000 for damage." "We have blood." "They keep claiming there was blood." "MAN:" "Development, development." " Oh!" "MAN:" "According to Doug, the concierge" "Grabbed Doug and choked him." "Oh, my god." "That's terrible." "Well, let's go down." "What happened?" "Tell me." "What happened?" "Apparently, hang on one second." "Apparently they..." "According to Dough" "The concierge grabbed him and choked him." "And now he's not even allowed on the property anything" "Resembling the Carlton." "Really?" "Which one was it?" "Do you know which one?" "Well, why don't you..." "I'll give you a pen and pencil." "You write his name down." "And you sue him." "Well, we'll film him." "And then you'll sue him." "So I'm going to try to find Doug and see what's" "Up with this problem... why they hit him on the neck" "And strangled him and try to find" "Out which concierge did it." "Let's film it, yeah." "Well, we'll film it." "This guy." "This guy here." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "OK, so you did it." "He did it." "Ah, ah, OK, then I shoot him." "He choked me." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "I can shoot him." "So a Carlton person..." "We'll sue you." "So Doug is going to go now." "He was just attacked by the police..." "By the security guards of the Carlton." "Now he's going to go and try to find out" "How to get to the Commissariat of Police" "So he can make a complaint because I" "Guess this guy choked him." "It was not a very nice thing to do." "What's..." "There was blood on the carpet." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "But we paid for it." "You charged us I don't believe it." "I go and talk to him." "But then we can't take our equipment out." "He is the packer." "But where is the blood?" "Where is the blood?" "There was some right here before." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "I don't see any blood." "Look, over here, Toxie, there's a little bit over here." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "I don't understand." "Listen, I don't see any blood." "I don't know what to say." "It doesn't look like a big thing here." "It's the blood." "It takes five minutes to wipe it up." "Everything takes five minutes in the hotel... everything." "But now I think he went up to the limit." "The gun with the..." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "It's a festival." "I mean, it's a festival for heaven sakes." "I don't understand." "I really don't understand." "There's nothing there." "So the manager of the Carlton, who is a pretty good guy." "He just came in." "And I explained what I knew of the situation." "And he agreed that the blood on the outside," "Especially since the entertainment." "And it's a universal... it's owned" "By Comcast and Walt Disney." "And it's not a bad thing for the Cartlon to be on TV worldwide." "And he agreed that the blood is washable." "So what's the big deal?" "So I think he will let Doug back into the hotel." "But Doug may want to take revenge against the security" "Guard, of course, I don't know." "Some woman called my on my cellphone saying you" "Guys were peeing on the balcony or something." "Oh, OK, that's good." "I came back to the condo covered in blood." "And I had to carry a bucket of guts." "And everyone's yelling there's this weird guy in the shower" "That no one knew." "He followed everyone back." "What are you doing?" "So, uh, what are you doing?" "I'm just having a fucking shower, man." "Oh, my god, he's using my fucking towel." "So everyone is like what..." "What are we going to do?" "What are we going to do?" "So I come in." "I open the door, break it down, and shove" "A baseball bat up his ass." "MAN:" "He's got his baseball bat." "MAN:" "Fuck off." "I don't need to pay for that." "You need it." "MAN:" "I don't want it." "Bend over." "I don't need a baseball bat." "You do." "Look, everyone needs a baseball bat, especially out there." "Ahh!" "Ahhh!" "MAN:" "God, holy fucking shit." "MAN:" "What?" "What?" "MAN:" "He's sticking a bat up his ass." "Ahh!" "Ahh!" "[Laughter]" "It's stuck." "MAN:" "What the fuck?" "Ahh!" "Ahh!" "It's stuck." "MAN:" "Can I go piss on him?" "MAN:" "Yeah, go piss on him." "It's stuck." "MAN:" "He's got a bat up his ass." "Oh!" "And Jamie, another one of our volunteers pissed on him." "Get in the shower." "Get in the shower." "MAN:" "Hey, let's circumsize him." "Yeah!" "I'm Jewish." "I'm trained to do that, dude." "MAN:" "You know how?" "And then we called the cops." "Did I ever tell you about the time" "I fucked the guy in the ass with a dildo?" "When you're talking about this independent spirit" "And when you first came, you could sleep on the beach." "You're finding it harder this year," "Aren't you to get the whole Troma thing out there?" "I think it gets harder and harder" "Every year for independent art." "It is harder and harder at Cannes." "We used to be able to put leaflets under the doors of all" "The rooms." "And bit by bit, Cannes has squeezed the independents." "No longer are you permitted to put leaflets under the doors." "There's no more leafleting of cars." "Possibly due to the giant devil worshipping" "International conglomerates like AOL-SlimeWarner," "We are losing that independent spirit" "Because AOHELL-SlimeWarner, in my opinion," "Is doing everything it can to destroy the independence, even" "To the extent of sending a disgusting dog to this booth..." "To foul this booth." "It's awful." "CAMERAMAN:" "What happened with the stickers?" "What's going on?" "The stickers... the stickers and the flyers." "We went to the Carlton this morning to flyer..." "The first flyering of Troma." "And they told us we would be arrested if we did it." "So they said we can only do it in the lobby... put everything" "Down in the lobby and came back an hour later" "And they took everything." "They ripped it up." "They wouldn't let us... we came up." "We did one floor." "And a bunch of guards chased us down" "And said they were going to arrest us and have the police" "Lock us up if we kept doing it." "Dave LeDon... he owns a company." "We were putting up flyers on his posters." "MAN:" "What posters are they?" "All the posters downstairs..." "The big posters... people" "Paying thousands of dollars." "You know?" "We put something on it." "Pissed... this guy came and said that he'll" "Break all of our fingers." "MAN:" "He's going to break our fingers and deport us." "We're going to get deported." "CAMERAMAN:" "Wait, wait, excuse me." "You want to see?" "You want see if you cannot come over there?" "CAMERAMAN:" "Yeah, wait." "So it seems if you're selling your own movie," "Do not put stickers on the big posters" "Because David feels they are controlled" "By the Israeli mafia." "And then, of course, Israel is where" "We made "Big Gus, What's the Fuss?"" "Which is the worst movie in the world." "And, uh, don't make any movies in Israel, either," "Let me tell you." "The place takes... it's sucks, that place, to make movies." "CAMERAMAN:" "You're not allowed to do that." "[Speaking french]" "CAMERAMAN:" "You can't do that." "They won't let you hang things on the wall." "You're not allowed to do that." "You're not, see." "So another purpose of being at Cannes" "Is to acquire the rights to movies." "And we want to acquire the rights to the new Argento film." "So now that most of the business is done or the lack of business" "Is done, I am going to try to go to the office of the lady who" "Handles Argento's movies." "And I'm going to make her an offer" "That she will definitely be able to refuse because it" "Will be a very low offer." "Troma is sitting here in the back of the restaurant." "And, meanwhile, the lady from Warner Brothers with the front" "Rooms at the Carlton." "She is out there in the sun." "The sun are the prestige." "The front tables are the prestige tables here." "And we couldn't possibly be any further back." "[Zombie growl]" "[Screams]" "YANIV SHARON:" "There we go." "Well, this is it... the night of the big, red carpet" "On the crossed set." "The Troma Team is here!" "Can we come in?" "No, it's not possible." "Why is not possible?" " Where is it?" " Not with..." "No?" "No, no, no." "No?" "[Speaking french]" "This is no good?" "What about this one?" "Toxie, show them yours." "Yours has got to be good." "You're the Toxic Avenger." "Toxie, get in there." "Toxie!" "Toxie!" "Toxie, you go." "We're not allowed in?" "We're the Troma Team." "Look, these people are going to get in." "Yo!" "That guy just snuck in." "That guy just snuck in." "I swear to god." "You stop, or police." "Your choice... the police, or stop." "I will stop, but listen, that guy." "Police." "Listen, a guy just snuck in right there." "Sorry." "No, [inaudible]." "You need to ask the police?" "No, listen, we are done." "You're going." "We are done." "OK, stop." "Listen, the guy just snuck in, man." "Are we allowed in here?" "Are there cocktails in here, everybody?" "Is this cocktail hour?" "Cocktails here?" "Yes?" "Oh, look it!" "The red carpet!" "Oh, my god!" "If I only I could see." "(SINGING) Troma sneaks in the back way, sneaks in." "I'm going to check three out." "Come on, guys." "We'll fit." "We'll fit." "Oh." "Toxie." "Come in and just squeeze in." "Dolphin Man." "Snap, ah!" "The end of the Troma team." "Where are we?" "Is this a car?" "Are we in a car, everybody?" "CAMERAMAN:" "Oh, we keep on going down, you know?" "MAN:" "There you go." "No, I pressed the up, 0, 1, 0, and then we stopped." "CAMERAMAN:" "We know the elevator..." "They have a camera in here." "So we stopped it." "And there's going to be police." "MAN:" "Oh, my god." "Look at this elevator full right now." "Yeah, Troma!" "We're fucking stuck." "So I probably leaned on the stop button." "Holy shit." "Press emergency." "I'm claustrophobic." "I'm suffocating." "Oh, my god, dude." "You press three?" "I pressed all of them." "CAMERAMAN:" "Oh, my god, guys." " Press another button." " Push the alarm." "Push the alarm or something." "Press the button." "I don't want to." "We're going to fucking get ejected." "YANIV SHARON:" "So we'll get ejected." "Somebody press the damn button, for Christ sakes." "Well, we snuck in the back way for the red carpet." "And instead of getting to the red carpet," "We're stuck in an elevator." "The entire Troma Team is stuck in an elevator." "WOMAN:" "No, it's too [inaudible]." "Listen, listen, shush, shush, is there an alarm?" "This is kind of scary." "But it doesn't work." "[Alarm]" "There it goes." "CAMERAMAN:" "Oh, my god." "Help!" "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "So we get to go to the..." "To the big, red carpet." "We finally scored some tickets." "Some guy in a restaurant named Emmanuel gave us tickets." "Here we are since..." "It's the first time" "I think since 1971... 1971." "We have to... we're not allowed to film here apparently." "It's a top security." "It's like the Chinese or something..." "Chinese spy plane." "So I have to close the camera because god forbid anyone" "Should film in the salumiere." "So I am closing the camera." "WOMAN:" "Well, they could be copying the film." "It makes sense." "Well, it's ridiculous." "It's absurd." "It's a freedom of the press." "It's absurd." "WOMAN:" "No, no, no." "People could be taking cameras in." "Oh, to hell with it." "Come on." "It's ridiculous." "At any rate, I'm putting this thing away." "It's a terrible thing." "But I have to put my whole briefcase so, anyway, ciao!" "Well, we lasted about a half hour in this movie." "And it really sucked." "And it was unbelievably boring." "And you can probably see behind me people are leaving." "You cannot imagine how boring this movie was." "Look at these people behind me that are leaving." "I mean, people are just streaming out of this place." "The movie sucks." "This movie sucked." "[Alarm]" "[Scream]" "Troma!" "WOMAN:" "Oh, god, this is a little scary." "I don't think we should be yelling Troma right now." "All right, they know we're in here." "CAMERAMAN:" "How long have we been in here?" "About 20 minutes, I think." "CAMERAMAN: 20 minutes?" "Something like that." "It seems like an eternity." "It's not working." "[Speaking french]" "Say, why aren't you getting us out?" "What's the difference?" "There's fucking 20 people in here." "Tell him that." "[Speaking french]" "Please shut up now." "We are 10 or 12." "Therefore it's stuck." "And that's why it's too heavy." "HEIDI SJURSEN:" "I know." "But we're stuck." "Now can they care..." "Just get us out." "You know what I mean?" "Why do they keep asking how many?" "Like, OK, yeah, we fucked up." "But get us out of here." "MAN:" "We need a crane or something." "Yeah, I'd laugh at a crane." "Can you ask him to get us out and how" "Long it's going to take." "[Speaking french]" "Oh." "Ah, victory." "Who has the invitations?" "We'd like to invite you to our parties to make up for it." "Come to our party." "Thank you for saving us." "We have a party, come." "Everyone, come to our party." "Thank you." "Yay!" "Whoo!" "[Applause]" "CAMERAMAN:" "Where's Kabukiman?" "Merci." "All right, so we were just... we're in an elevator" "For the last half hour." "And we called Scott to help us." "And Scott thought he was joking..." "He thought we were joking." "So he's like, yeah, right." "Yeah, right." "He's talking around a cellphone at a party." "And he's like, ah, yeah, OK, yeah, oh, hi!" "Hi, how are you?" "Hold on a second." "He puts girl on the phone to have a conversation with John" "Who are yelling, Scott, if you do not come here and help us," "We're going to punch you next time we see you." "People ask why do we bother to give the parties at Cannes?" "That's a good question." "But the reason is that buyers come." "And film buyers are the people who" "Give you money for your movies." "And if you can give them a good time that the film buyers can" "Have some fun and dance with some Tromettes and Dolphin Man," "That is a reason for them to come back" "And do business with Troma." "So it's not as stupid as it looks." "Now, we are going to the Troma party..." "The hot ticket of Cannes." "So, again, we unlike other parties, most of these parties" "Cost about $50,000 to $100,000, even a small party." "Troma has managed to get sponsors." "The Troma party!" "[Music playing]" "CAMERAMAN:" "Have you made a lot of money for Troma?" "I think I paid for the suites." "And I just did a deal now that'll pay" "For Lloyd's seersucker suit." "CAMERAMAN:" "You're working while you play, huh?" "Of course, I have to." "There's a freaking huge line, choke line, dude." "Apparently, we can't get our people into the party" "Because there's too many people in there." "I think we gave out too many invitations." "I worked for Troma in '96." "I worked on "Tromeo and Juliet."" "I live in New York." "Llloyd is my buddy." "I'm here with two girls and a guy." " What's your name?" " Greg Radin." "Greg Radin, hey!" "Scott told me not to let anyone in because it's too crowded." "But Lloyd would let me in." "He's from the Stockton Film Festival." "Yeah, I know." "Everyone wants to get in." "This is fucking mess." "I mean, this is, you know, one thing Troma I really think" "Stands for is like, you know, helping the people who helped" "Them, you know, we give back." "And when we see our people stuck behind these lines, that really" "Kind of rubs me the wrong way." "I mean, the Troma people have been giving the time" "And paid money to fly out here to the middle of France." "And they're stuck back there in the lines like everyone else," "You know?" "I..." "I..." "He's an ex-employee of Troma." "Am just so angry at stock." "And we're still waiting." "At $20,000 a year Scott McKinley." "I'm so angry at him right now." "This is the only..." "This is the one" "Moment of power in his life." "I know, you guys, I apologize." "I don't know." "There isn't enough room." "Yeah, Scott, please come up." "You guys, please." "[Music playing]" "Andy Warhol is a big hero of ours in Tromaville." "Oh, he is, absolutely." "Thanks for being sensitive." "Why do you feel it's like the factory?" "Why do I feel it's like the factory?" "He's..." "Lloyd Kaufman has opened a venue to incorporate, um, uh," "Characters and creatures to come together and express themselves" "Through art and allow t hem to be art that they are," "Considering that for the most part, they have been outsiders," "But in being outsiders, it has created within their minds" "And their systems to be more enveloped and superior" "Thinking and superior thought." "[Music playing]" "Well, it seems like the Troma Team" "Has really won the hearts and minds of just about everybody" "At Cannes." "It's incredible, especially the people from Warner Brothers." "All right, that's a wrap for tonight." "We'll be here all week." "I don't know that I have anything else in me." "CAMERAMAN:" "That's all right." "You're doing a good job." "So uh, yeah, this is, uh, the end of the Troma party." "And this is one of the last guys left." "He had a little bit too much fun... just a little bit." "Paramedics." "We have paramedics here." "Paramedics, hello." "We have a guy drunk off his ass." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "The Troma party last night was successful." "There seemed to be some buyers." "There seemed to be quite a bit of media." "There was one sour note in that some kind of fisticuffs" "Broke out between Doug Sakmann and Scott McKinley..." "Two of the Troma employees." "I've been begging Doug to... pleading with Doug" "To curb his turbo-obnoxious behavior that had just been," "Again, off the charts, even for Doug." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "But, Tasty, what happened... tell us" "About Scott McKinley and Doug." "What happened?" "Well, because Doug doesn't know when to stop sometimes." "Doug will take things a little too far." "Doug was like baiting the fuck out of Scott McKinley." "That's... mean, I don't even understand" "How Big Tasty would say that because Scott was never there." "All week long I was, you know, I was sort of..." "I was the, you" "Know, it was the proverbial seltzer bottle" "That was just continually being shook" "And shook and shook until..." "I was never... there was never Scott around for me to shake." "Finally the night of the party at the end of the party," "Someone undid the cap." "You're choking me." "I'm telling someone else to do work." "I'm not even telling you to do work." "And you're choking me." "And then someone turned on the camera." "And we were yelling about the champagne." "And the rest is caught on tape." "What are you talking about champagne?" "You wouldn't give me a fucking bottle" "Of champagne [inaudible]." "[Inaudible]" "Wait, why is there [inaudible]?" "I just..." "I grabbed him and tried to, uh, um," "Move his tattoos." "You can't fight, okay?" "No fighting." "CAMERAMAN:" "Oh, shit." "Oh." "Oh, shit." "Are you taping that?" "CAMERAMAN:" "Fuck." "You are my girlfriend." "And you are my boyfriend." "But I was, uh, I guess someone stepped in." "And that was the end of it." "So there was little ballroom dance." "And then we went to our respective corners and..." "Like in the process, Scott threw a girl down." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Jennifer." "Just an amazing scene." "It was like one of the weirdest things" "I have ever seen because it was real." "Ah, let's see." "What was the outcome?" "You know, I left." "And, uh, um, you know, I guess the outcome" "Was, um, you know, finally Doug and I" "Publicly didn't get along." "I am at the edge of my seat." "I guess there was a lot of huffing and puffing" "Because I know Doug professes himself" "To be quite the man's man." "So should I beat the shit out of him?" "Hey!" "He's walking away." "Scott walked away." "I win!" "Come back." "I wasn't ready." "Now I'm ready." "Scott McKinley!" "Scott McKinley." "Pussy!" "Pussy!" "Scott, come back." "I'm going to punch you in the face," "Knock you out, and then fuck you in the ass." "That Doug guy..." "I mean, do they get any cooler than Doug." "I mean, he's so cool." "He's actually got Troma tattoos." "Now, how cool." "You don't know Scott." "I know Scott." "Yeah, well that motherfucker pushed me on the ground." "He choked me." "I don't give a fuck if he choked you." "But I do." "Wait, you both hate him." "You both hate him." "I don't know him." "He threw me on the ground." "Let's get the shit and go because all I want to do" "Is go home." "Scott McKinley is a pussy." "Scott McDouche." "Indeed, I think Troma had made its decision." "They were... they were siding with Doug." "And why doesn't that surprise me?" "Unfortunately, when you give a party, things go wrong." "And you piss off friends." "And, unfortunately, we managed to piss" "Off not only a friend, but the person for whom we are working." "It is none other than Johann, who is a producer" "Of parts of the family." "So what happened, Johann at the party?" "So we were standing with four other people." "And we were standing there waiting for three quarters" "Of an hour trying to get in." "And, um, all of a sudden Scott McKinley comes up." "And I say, oh, yeah, that goes knows me." "I say, OK, let's say, I want..." "let me in." "You know me." "Oh, no, he says, you're 10 to 15 minutes too late." "And I said, what the hell's going on?" "A few people standing next to me... they say to McKinley," "Oh, hi, we met in a restaurant two or three days ago." "Oh, yeah, right." "He opens the gate and lets them in." "So that blew me through the roof." "And then I took my phone and called MH." "But I had a machine." "And you listen to the machine." "Then you hear about pissed off I was." "JOHANN (ON VOICEMAIL):" "Johann from Belgium..." "I'm currently standing in front of the party in Cannes." "And we don't get in." "Scott McKinley knows me, looks me in the eyes," "And doesn't let me and my party in." "People he met in a restaurant were standing next to me." "He let them in." "And me and my party came in." "And Scott McKinley looks at me." "Don't let me in." "Acts as I am complete dirt." "And this is completely out of... out of control." "And if this the way to act." "I think that's very indecent." "And I'm very, very, very, very, very, very, angry." "And as you can hear from what I'm saying," "This is embarrassing." "And to be honest, I don't want to get in anymore." "And tomorrow I will go and really at the... in the office." "Thank you very much." "I hope Michael Herz gets this." "I'm tired of this." "Really, Scott McKinley can go to fuck." "And, of course, this message naturally" "Was left for Patrick Gallahoo, has nothing to do with Cannes" "Distribution or any other reason." "OK." "Hello?" "Hey, good party, thank you very much." "Good job." "It was great... excellent." "Yep." "That's all right, what else?" "What do you want/ I know you just woke up." "So I know you feel guilty about sleeping so late while" "Everyone else is working." "But it's OK, Scott, don't worry." "It's OK." "It's OK." "You're special." "You're very special." "You're like a higher class person than everybody else." "But please thank Stephanie." "It was a great evening." "And anything you can do to take advantage of publicity" "And follow up on." "CAMERAMAN:" "We're open." "Here we are." "Someone has just handed me the bill for the Troma, Carlton," "All the love you can love chapel... two doors." "They gave it to me because they felt I was the boss." "It's pretty big." "CAMERAMAN:" "Here we go." "Here we go." "7033... wait... 107... thanks." "CAMERAMAN:" "Oui, that just [inaudible]." "What does it say?" "CAMERAMAN:" "I can't read it." "$10,733.00." "WOMAN:" "Are you kidding?" "No." "That's Scott." "I have one thing to tell you." "See that post over there... your big Recycle S'il Vous Plait." "I'm going to destroy that motherfucker... motherfucker." "That sign is going down." "Scott you motherfucker." "We're going to kill your sign bitch?" "We're going to kill your sign, bitch!" "Motherfucker!" "[Scream]" "That's it." "Break it good." "Recycle!" "Ah!" "Oh!" "Motherfucker!" "[Laughter]" "Oh, look, we broke the phone too." "Oh, shit." "Gosh, Doug, you really got me." "Boy, you know, breaking the recycling signs." "Oh, when will it end?" "Geez, I mean the guy is so clever." "You know?" "All right, today, Canal+, which, uh," "Is pretty the Fox of France Or?" "You know, is major network." "They are going to be following around the Troma team today." "[Music playing]" "We're going to do lots of "All the Love You Cannes."" "We're going to have an "All the Love You Cannes."" "And then later we can do plus." "[Music playing]" "[Screams]" "MAN:" "Troma!" "[Music playing]" "In the light." "Troma, of course." "CAMERAMAN:" "One closing remark, Lloyd, any closing remarks?" "Well, I think the key is that art that" "Was supreme independent cinema triumphs once again..." "And, um, Troma!" "Troma is very grateful to all the many fans and the people" "At Cannes who have made Troma beloved in the world of art." "[Music playing]" "MAN:" "Knowing what you know about we've been kicked out" "Of Carlton..." "Doug is apparently completely in charge" "Of everything at Cannes." "What do you see, uh, Cannes being like for Troma this year?" "Well, my father used to tell me if you want to know what" "Someone's going to do tomorrow, look" "At what they've done yesterday because people don't change." "So I would think we have lots of excitement" "To look forward to under the Troma brand" "Name there on the Croisette in Cannes." "I'm sure Doug will come up with very" "Innovative, creative, um, well-received ideas" "That, um, that... you know, that Troma will be" "Very pleased with the results." "[Music playing]" "We're here at the Carlton, and uh..." "Troma was... somehow" "We don't have our offices." "We used to be here maybe more than 20 years." "Let's see if there's anybody." "Let's see what happened to the Troma office." "Let's see what's going on." "Come on." "Let's go." "Troma!" "[Music playing]" "Our office was to the right... oh, to the right." "Let's go." "I think I just heard my name on somebody's walkie talkie." "[Music playing]" "Oh, my!" "Look who got the office from last year..." "Warner Brothers." "They have the Troma office." "Wow!" "I guess they needed more space." "No filming." "LLOYD KAUFMAN:" "Oh, oh, OK." "No filming." "[Music playing]"