"I, Troy Dixon, choose to take my life." "Peace." "Pentobarbital with champagne." "Such a mind trip." "Troy, if you're not ready, we don't have to do this today." "Yeah, we do." "You know, when I was a kid, I was terrified of flying, and when I was 14, my mom sent me and my sister to Portland to visit my aunt, and I did not want to go." "But then we were in the air, and it was perfect." "We're afraid because we don't know what to expect." "No one's been able to come back and say," ""There's gonna be light, there's gonna be angels, you're gonna love it."" "But just because there's uncertainty doesn't mean there's anything to fear." "I'm ready." "How long does it take?" "It's usually very quick." "Gone." "Leaving on a jet plane?" "Got anything better?" "I'm home." "Honey, I'll be right up." "She's not supposed to be home." "You got the money, right?" "Are you kidding me?" "You're supposed to take care of the money." "You're supposed to be taking care of it;" "Got get it." " Stay here." " Go get get." "Go." "Go." "Go." "Go." "Go." "Go." "Go." "Go." "Go." "Go." "Do it." "I'm sorry." "Come on." "Hurry up." "Baby, I got you a smoothie." "Honey?" "You all right?" "Troy?" "Come on." "Come on." "Okay." "Now what?" "We jump." "Give me your hand." "You feel that?" "It's called a pulse, and when you feel that, it means someone's alive." "The guy was dead." "He was gone." "Nothing like this can ever happen again, Des." "We're supposed to be ending suffering, not creating it." ""Do no harm", remember?" "No, it was never really a guiding principle for those of us in plastic surgery." "Hola, welcome to Diego's Tacos." "Two orders of cheese rolls, three beef chalupas, two fiesta potatoes, and three root beers, please." "Four, and a steak quesadilla, por favor." "That'll be $24.15." "Gracias." "What went wrong?" "He was a big guy, a former football player." "I guess the dose didn't keep him dead." "Drinks are the problem." "The drinks have worked every other time flawlessly." "If we'd done an injection, Troy would never have come back from the dead, and you know it, and I know it, straight into the bloodstream flush." "We've been through this." "It has to be their doing." "Look, I know you've got your issues with injections, so I'm volunteering to do them." "I... want to." "You know, sometimes I don't if you're a compassionate doctor or a serial killer." "Says the woman who just smothered a guy with a pillow." " Des, please." " It's all right." "You did what you had to do under the circumstances." "All I'm saying is, there wouldn't have been a circumstance if we'd done an injection." "Prove you can take a pulse, then we'll talk injection." "Control freak." "Serial killer." "There you go." " Gracias." " Gracias." "So... who's our next hit?" "We're not hit men." "We're doctors." "Bloody Mary." "Bloody Mary." "I believe in Bloody Mary." "Bloody Mary." "Bloody Mary..." "Whoa." "What are you doing?" "Bloody Mary." "You chant her name, and..." "You see her ghost in the mirror." "Jess, why do you have to scare your sister like that?" " I wasn't scared." " But she wasn't scared, see?" "Ghosts aren't real, right?" "Of course not." "Come on." "Downstairs." "I got takeout." "I love Diego's." "So does Casper." "Nom, nom, nom." "Mom, Diego's again?" "A week ago, you loved it." "If ghosts aren't real, what happens to people when they die?" "They stay in our hearts." "What about the people in the hospital?" "What do you mean?" "Well, sometimes you can't save their lives, and they die." "Yeah, it happens." "You keep them all in your heart?" "Yeah, I do." " Daddy!" " Cambie." "There's my girl." "Hi." " Hey, Dad." " Hey." "You guys packed?" " Nope." " Let's go." "Can you please knock next time?" "Thank you for taking the girls tonight." "I forgot I had this shift." "Yeah, that's been happening a lot." "What?" "Well, it's just we agreed to 50-50, and it's been more like 80-20 lately." "It's starting to add up." "You want more money or..." "No, it's not that I want money." "It's just..." " Maybe you should get a job." " I can't." "I mean, I'm working on the house, and I have the girls." "I have the girls." "I have a job." "Mary, all I hear is how much they miss you." "Even when they're with you, I mean, you come home late." "You show up with fast food." "I don't want them to have two absent parents." "Look, I'm doing the best I can here, all right?" "Well, so am I." "Are we going?" "Yeah." "You know what?" "I've got the girls." "Just let me know when you want them back." " Bye, girls." " Bye." " Love you." " Love you." "Love you too." "Murder Incorporated." "This is Dr. Bennett." "The seals have been tampered with." "The pento was diluted." " What?" "You're sure?" " Yes, I'm sure." " Where are you getting it from?" " My old dealer." "And the less you know..." "Des, you have one job:" "Get the drugs." "W-w-w-whoa, I'd argue I do a lot more than just get the drugs." "I operate the camera, I file," "I offer the occasional witticism if the mood is right, sometimes when not." "Besides, every other batch has been fine." "Well, this one isn't, so get a new supply, and make it right." "Shit." "I can't feel anything." "Is that bad?" "We're gonna take good care of you, Matt." "Don't worry." "We got you." "Ready?" "One, two..." "Call the blood bank, four units of O-neg stat." "Yeah, I'm not sure we're gonna have time for that." "Matt..." "Matt, are you with us?" "Okay, stand by." "Pericardial effusion." "The knife must have punctured his heart." " No pulse." " We lost him." " Thoracotomy?" " Mary, he's gone." "Let's bring him back." "Get me a thoracotomy tray." "Call a code blue, and get RT down here stat." "Dr. Mary Harris feeling brave today." "Yeah, I am." "It's all yours." "You saved his life." "Well, it's why we do what we do." "Thank you, God." "Well, I kind of think that we all had a little something to do with that today." "What was he doing getting getting money out of an ATM in that neighborhood?" "Don't worry." "You can yell at him when he wakes up." "Dr. Windrom to Obstetrics." "Dr. Windrom to Obstetrics." "Don't you think it's a little early to be patting ourselves on the back?" "Yeah, we stabilized him..." "Mary, he's good." "We're good." "Starbucks, anybody?" "My treat." "Triple shot, extra hot, venti..." " Triple shot, venti." " Thank you." "Mary." "Nope, thank you." "All right, nothing for Mary." "My boss is watching me like a hawk." "She watches everybody like a hawk." "It's her job." "She kind of looks like a hawk." "Beady eyes." "Two new cases." "Nora's a widow, 80, acute renal failure." "She's choosing not to do dialysis." "Her only wish now is not to suffer, which, of course, she will." "And Joel has an inoperable brain tumor." "He's been through chemo and radiation, both of which were ineffective." "Life expectancy three to four months, but he would like to check out before... and these are his words..." ""Shit gets real," which, of course, it will." "I gave them both your number." "Behind every great doctor..." "Is a better nurse." "Troy?" "Yeah." "Went well?" "Yeah, peaceful." "Good." "We're doing the right thing, Annie." "No, you're doing the right thing." "I'm just making copies." "I am going to die." "I am going to die." "I'm gonna die." "_" "The person you are trying to reach is unavailable." "Please leave a message." "Hey, this is Joel Collins." "I..." "I was at Eden General the other day." "I met a nurse named Annie." "She said you could help me." "I don't think about it." "I think it's bam, right?" "Lights out." "Game over." " I think there's more." " More what?" "More, something more." "I don't know, man." "It's just a fairy tale." "Here I am thinking you're a good old-fashioned Catholic boy." "No, man." "I am a bad, bad Catholic boy." "Come on." "Let me buy you a dance." "For my friend." "You're so sad." "I got cancer." "Poor baby." "Did you know the Greeks have two words for time?" "Chronos and kairos." "Greeks do love their words." "Measured time and soulful time." "Chronos is, like, tick-tock, tick-tock." "But kairos is... is the experience, you know, time that speeds up and slows down, expands and collapses." "You ever experience that?" "Yeah, I need more pento." "You look really good, Des." "I mean, you've upped your pento use, but yet you look distractingly vital, like you're glowing or something like that." "Doesn't it look like he's glowing?" "Like a candle." "What's your point, Grady?" "Is all the pento for you?" "If I look clean, it's because you watered down your supply." "I mean, I come to you because your product is supposed to be pure, and instead, you give me this low-grade, ineffectual bullshit." "I mean, what is that?" "I watered it down." "I did." "Wanted to make sure that you were using and that you weren't selling." "'Cause you know how I feel about that, right?" "I have no interest in being a dealer." "Okay, Sid." "You know, I might not be a fancy doctor like you, Des, but I help people ease their existential pain." "You know, I deepen their experience, elevate them to the supreme moment." "I'm all about that kairos shit." "But here I sit public enemy number one." "That's pure." "There's no charge." " Thank you." " Try it." "Want to make sure it lives up to your standards." "I trust you." "Sidney." "I hate liars." " Hurry up." " Slow down." "Nobody ever comes in here." "It's okay." "Okay." "I see you've got some prime security." "Yeah." "So I literally got an F on my essay today, an F." "What was it on?" "Che Guevara." "I don't know." "He was just some revolutionary from Mexico." "I think it was Cuba." "Whatever, okay?" "Anyways, he witnessed all... he witnessed all, like, the suffering, and, you know, injustices of the people." "And he saved them." "Like, he saved them." "He was a real hero." "Hey, look at me." "Hey, no, stop that." "Relax." "Do you know that you are so... pretty?" "Shut up." "Wait." "Do you hear that?" "What is that?" "Sounds like it's coming from the floor." "My God." "Is this your mom's?" "What, is she an addict or something?" "No, she would never do drugs." "I..." " Should we answer it?" " No." "Pentobarbital." "What do you think it does?" "I just think we should put it back." "Come on, Naomi, put it back." "What's the matter, darlin'?" "Okay, fine." "I'll put it back." "Your mom is way cooler than my mom." "You can have her." "My gosh, mom swap." "So you think your mom is a... is a drug dealer?" "She's not a drug dealer." "She's a doctor." "This is a sad place to die." "What's this guy's name again?" "Joel." "No, thanks." "I'm off the drink." "Yeah, you know, ever since I got the news," "I'm like, "What the hell?"" "There's a sudden removal of consequences when... well." "Annie passed along your file." "I'm sorry about your prognosis." "Have you told your wife?" "Girlfriend or..." "No." "No, there's no women." "They hear "cancer," they run the other way." "So, Annie, she was a little vague, but she gave me your number, said you're end-of-life counselors and that you had some progressive ideas." "Yes, and this is intended to be an exploratory meeting to find out what your needs are and if we might be able to help you." "Well, I was very clear with Annie." "I'm dying." "I want to die faster." "Is that something you can help me with?" "Yeah... yeah, if we were in... in Switzerland, where assisted suicide is legal, then absolutely." "Unfortunately, it's not the case here." "But it doesn't mean that we can't talk about it... hypothetically." "An option is to go to Switzerland and be what they call a "death tourist,"" "fly there, die there." "Yeah, I don't want to do that." "I mean, go to Switzerland just to die." "I don't blame you, Joel." "The airfare, hotel, cost of death." "Could run you 20 grand easy." "No, you may as well stay home, save yourself 10 grand." "I'm good for it." "So how does it work, the dying part?" "Well, in Switzerland, a doctor would give a patient such as yourself a lethal dose of sodium-pentobarbital to drink." "There's no pain, no suffering." "You just fall asleep." "Yeah, how come that's a drink and not an injection?" "Because I researched it, right?" "And it's... it's better." "It's a smoother exit." "Young Joel brings up a valid point." "Well, I think doctors feel it's important for patients to choose their death." "Okay, I get it." "I've got to pull the trigger." "This is obviously a very serious decision." "Yeah, I know that." "And to tell you the truth, it's... it's this, or I guess I could buy a gun." "Don't buy a gun." "But do take the time you need to think about it." "Do you think he'll call?" "To ask you to prom?" "No, to ask me to kill him." "How long has it been?" "Please tell me you've had sex since your divorce." "It's a choice." "A sexless life is an ungodly life, Mary." "Why do you care so much?" "Well, for whom the bell tolls, you know." "One person's death is a loss to us all." "Same principle applies to sex." "You get laid, we all get laid." "He's a patient, and he's dying." "Exactly." "You'd be doing him a favor." "I'm sure he doesn't want to go out with blue balls." "It's win-win." "Wait." "Have you had sex with any of our patients?" "God no, no, no." "Death is a big turnoff for me." "I like them young and alive." "Don't forget this." "You're sure the stuff is good?" "Well, I didn't test it, because that would defeat the purpose of recovery, but yeah, it's good;" "I assure you." "Yeah, how are you doing with that?" "The mundanity is the biggest problem." "Fortunately, I still have sex to shake things up." "So do you, Mary." " Nice shirt." " Thanks." "Hi." "I'm Louise." "I'm Naomi's mom." "We met at the Christmas recital." " Yes, hi." " Hi." "Nice to see you again." "And Louise is also my..." "Daddy's girlfriend." "Hi." "I didn't know." "Yeah, well, it's only been..." "A couple of months." "Look, it's new." " Yeah." " It was a secret." "It wasn't a secret." "It was just..." "It was just finding the right time." "So are you sure it's only been two months?" "'Cause you're already finishing each other's sentences." "Shh, the show is starting." "I ran out of checks." "Thanks." "It's Jess." " Thank you." " Yeah." "So what is she, a real housewife?" "Mom." "My God, Naomi." "Go." "Go." "I'm here." "What happened?" " Call in ambulance." " Baby." "What do we have?" "A 15-year-old female." "Naomi, my daughter's friend." "Collapsed onstage at their dance recital." "What do we think?" "Overdose." "Could be sedatives." "Naomi, you're at Eden General." "Dr. Harris." "You collapsed during your performance." "Did you take anything?" "I'm gonna take this to the lab." "Naomi, say no to drugs." "You're too pretty to die." "Honey, what did you take?" "We're going to get the results from your lab tests anyway, so you might as well tell me." "Is my mom here?" "Probably in the waiting room right now." " Do you want me to get her?" " No, no." "No, you can't tell her." "Tell her what?" "I thought it was alcohol." "You thought what was alcohol?" "That stuff." "That stuff that was in your shed." "Does Jess know about this?" "No, she has no idea." "I just took, like, a tiny, tiny little bit before going onstage, you know." "I mean, I get..." "I get stage fright sometimes." "It's so stupid, and I'm sorry." "I'm never gonna do it again." "Just... just please don't tell my mom, because she's totally gonna, like, send me to boarding school or something." " I have to tell her." " No." "No, you don't." "I mean, when I go and get birth control, the doctors don't tell my mom." "That's confidentiality, right?" "God, you sound like a lawyer." "Is Jess on birth control?" "No, she doesn't need it." "Look, Dr. Harris, I don't even know what that stuff even is, but I do know that my mom is crazy, and she is a lawyer, okay?" "And if you tell her, she's gonna be all over the both of us." "My God." "You scared me half to death." "Hey, are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine." "My gosh." "You guys are so overdramatic." "Hey, what happened?" "I fainted." "I skipped dinner, but I totally, totally learned my lesson." "Naomi is underweight, which is a concern." "She's always been thin." "I mean, we both have." "Can we please just go home now?" "Can we?" "Are you sure she's okay?" "'Cause I hate hospitals." "Sorry." "That's okay." "It's common." "Yeah, she's fine to go." "Just keep an eye on her." "Water, food, rest." "Dr. Harris." "Thank you." "I'll see you guys tomorrow." "Buddy from this morning, ATM, stab wounds..." "Yeah, Matt Danvers." "Right, he also has a puncture to one of his lungs." "So we'll monitor him for a few days, but he is gonna need another surgery." "Have you told his wife?" "Um..." "Now that it's bad, you don't want to tell her." "You know, it's just because you're so much better at it than I am, so much better." "Sonia, hi." "How are you doing?" "I..." "I can't even make the simplest decision." "Mars Bar or Henry!" "?" "It should be easy." "Mary, it's Joel." "Look, I've thought about it." "And I'm ready to take the next step." "Call me." "Yeah." "Hey." "Hey." "Can I come in?" "Yeah, yeah." "I got your message." "I was in the area, so..." "I should have called first." "No, no, it's... it's good." "I'm..." "I'm glad you're here." "It's a lonely business, dying." "How have you been coping?" "This pamphlet is full of some enlightening bullshit." "It is, isn't it?" "Like we should all follow the same patterns of grief." "But it's not like that." "Pain is subjective." "Suffering is subjective." "Why are you doing this?" "What?" "Saving people a trip to Switzerland." "Is it the money?" "No, the money... it's just so I know people are serious." "Okay, so what is it?" "Short answer, I believe we should be in control of our life and our death." "That's liberty." "And dying isn't a crime." "No, but helping people die makes you a criminal." "You think so?" "I mean, yeah." "Is there a long answer?" "Man, I can't." "I can't." "Mary?" " That hurt." " You okay?" "I'm sorry." "You don't seem sick." "I'm sorry." "I meant that as a compliment." "I..." "We should... we should do this thing now." "Now?" "Yeah, now." "You should give me the drink." "I..." "I can't." "Yeah, you can." "You can." "I'm ready, so give me the drink, okay?" " Give me the drink, Mary." " I don't have it." "What do you mean, you don't have it?" "Well, there's protocol." "I can't just..." "What, was... was this... and this is all part of your protocol?" "No, that... that was..." "I'm ready." "I can't do it." "Mary." "Mary, wait, wait." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "I'm just..." "I'm really messed up right now." "It's okay." "I get it." "You know, for a second, I..." "I completely forgot I was sick, you know." "I know." "Can you come back inside?" "Please?" "I'm..." "I'm sorry, Joel." "Why are you still here?" "Passed her on the way out." "Turned the cameras on." "You had sex with our target." "You had sex with a murderer." "You're done." "No, no." "Come on, man." "We've to get rid of it." "I can't make that happen." "This is the closest thing we have to evidence." "It's unfortunate your dick was in her at the time, but..." "Frank..." "Don't put me in this situation." "Okay, you mean like the situation you put me in last year, where I lied for you under oath?" "Come on, man." "It was nothing." "A momentary lapse of judgment." "She's gonna say you had sex, Ben." "And no one is gonna believe her if we get rid of the tape." "Tomorrow we get her to deliver on the drugs." "We arrest her." "End of story." "Hey." "I..." "I just got home and saw the light on." "What's going on?" "Are you okay?" " I think Naomi's lying." " About what?" "I don't think she fainted." "I think she might have taken the... there was this stuff, these bottles." "They were right here." "It's called pentobarbital." "And I looked it up on the internet." "And it said that people use it for insomnia and getting high and..." "Euthanasia." "Yeah." "Why do you have that stuff in here?" "I didn't want to tell you girls just yet, but..." "It's for Casper." "What's wrong with Casper?" "He has cancer." "He needs to be put down, and I wanted to do it at home." "Casper's sick?" "I'm sorry." "Why is everything so messed up right now?" "Everything?" "Yeah, you're never home, and Dad's dating Louise, and Naomi, she... she's just all over the place with me, and I'm really worried about her." "Jess, I'm gonna level with you." "Life can get really messed up sometimes." "And every now and then, it'll just... have its way with you." "What do we do?" "We get strong." "Why aren't you answering your phone?" "I didn't wasn't aware I was on-call." "Why do you have a cat?" "I really messed up." "Larissa, Mary." "Cute kitty." "Mary, Larissa." "Mary and I work together." "You work with the sick kids too?" "Yep." "Yeah, the..." "I work with the sick kids." "That is so awesome." "Yeah, yeah." "Listen, doll, can we reconvene later?" "'Cause Mary and I have some work to do." "Save those kids." " Sick kids?" " It's my alibi." "The cat, explain." "Casper." "Can I ask you to cat-sit?" "Please say yes." "Don't ask why." "I had sex with Joel." "It's not funny." "You gave a dying man a good time." " There's no harm there." " I took advantage of him." "Women can't take advantage of men sexually." "It's biologically impossible." "And then he lost it on me." "Yeah, well, it happens to the best of us." "No, I'm not talking about that." "No, afterwards, he went crazy, begging me for the drink, begging to die." "God, you're like a... a praying mantis." "You have sex with them and then kill them." "We need to make this right." "So?" "So tomorrow, we end Joel's suffering." "Okay." "We will." "We're good at that." "You know, I've been thinking." "I really need to quit." "Killing people?" "No, smoking." "No, yeah, you're right." "You should." "It's a filthy habit." " We can't quit helping people." " No, of course." "You're like Joan of Arc, on a divine mission." "She got burned alive." "Yeah, in a blaze of glory." "I guess we all got to go some way."