"I AM A NYMPHOMANIAC" "Imagine that!" "Students complain they have too much work." "They threw a garbage can on the Dean's head." "In my day, when I studied seamanship, if one had dared to do so, we would have been thrown out in the street quickly." "There was discipline at that time." "It was not so bad." "In his time ..." "My father lived continuously remembering his youth." "And didn't worry about mine." "We all lived stuck in his past." "And we couldn't get ourselves out of his stories." "My mother, for the last twenty years, only spoke to him to ask :" "Are you going to drink coffee when you have finished?" "As if she didn't know." "Old custom of master mariner." "Coffee, three times a day, and no sugar." "Why did he want so much to stay awake?" "He spent his life sleeping as one sleeps during a sermon in church." " Good evening, ma'am." " Good evening, Eric." "Good evening, Mr. Desagne." "Good evening, you." "How are you?" "You come again to steal our daughter." "Are you going to the movies?" "Of course!" "I watched only two movies in my life, but they have to go every week." "In my day ..." "Don't bring her home too late." " No. .." " You promise?" "Do not worry, Mom." "Have a good evening." "And as soon as we left them," "I knew they were going to talk about my elder brother who died in Indochina." "If only he was here, she would not need a boyfriend for fun." "No!" "Come, I want to go home." "Living without love... my parents had taught me to hate love." "I couldn't even bear the touch of Eric's hands." "I could not bear the sight of other people making love." "Not knowing pleasure I couldn't understand the pleasure of this girl." "Look." "Wait." "Good night." "So, young people?" "You want to keep us company?" "Another night maybe, now we have to go." "Good night." " Here." " Thank you." "Here, typewrite this before noon." "It's the insurance's report of Mr. ..." "Hi, Eric." "What are you waiting?" "Return quickly to your office." "When employees lose time, the chiefs lose money." "Come, come!" "What's up my little Carole?" "Are you still in love with me?" "You know what I've heard?" "People say you missed me." "Are you here to tell me only this nonsense?" "What do I hear?" "Are you scolding the nephew of the boss now?" "You see I am working." "What a disappointment!" "I planned to leave to Cythère (mythological island of love) and now I find a model employee." "I am a victim of the morality of the middle class workers." "That's life!" "See you soon." "I'll be back." "Next time tell him he is an asshole." "Since you knew before me why don't you tell him yourself?" "That's how I was living, between the boredom of my parents, the pusillanimity of my boyfriend ... and the monotonous disinterest of my work." "Mrs. François had dressed my mother, it was agreed then that Mrs. François would dress me." "That's the family spirit for you." "You ... you look so much like your mother when she was young." "By the way, this wedding with Mr. Eric, is it soon?" "When leaving the house of Mrs. François ..." "I saw him and it was a crush." "Did you see her x-rays, doctor?" "Yes, it's a miracle, to have such a fall and get by with as little damage." "Yes, not a fracture, it's incredible." "And about the psychological damage?" "Do you think she's normal?" "Is there no apparent trauma?" "Hard to say for now, she has not yet spoken." "Hopefully, the future will tell us." " We see you again tomorrow?" " Unfortunately, no." "My holidays are over." "I'm leaving this afternoon." "Have a good trip, Doctor." "Thanks and see you soon." "But what do I see Miss?" "It is not wise to get up so soon." "A little patience, you must take your time and rest." "Here!" "Lie down." "Try to sleep a little, you'll see, everything will be fine." "My convalescence continued in the family home." "And it was here for the first time that I felt the first symptoms of the shameful disease that would change my life." "I had never thought about my body before and suddenly I found myself thinking only about it." "Its presence haunted me." "At every moment I wanted to touch it." "At every moment I had to look at myself." "Surprised by this body which now give me so much pleasure." "Carole!" "Carole, honey!" "Can you come downstairs, my darling?" " Your boyfriend is waiting for you." " Let him come up mom." "It would not be correct for him to enter in your room." " I'll tell him to come back tomorrow." " Oh, Mom!" "You can trust Eric." "And it would distracts me a little ..." "Eric." "Are you okay?" " I had to see you." " Thank you, darling." "No, do not thank me." "You have ..." "I want ..." "I wish ..." "What?" "But here?" "Like that?" "I beg you, it's what you wanted when ..." "I was so embarrassed to ask him this way and I felt so sorry for him." "A poor guy who lost his temper so miserably." "At the same time, the desire was so strong in me that I could not wait." "Then everything went fast." "Eric, I beg you." "What if your mother comes in?" " Eric!" " No, no!" "Are you crazy?" " Are you mad at me?" " No, but ..." "Suddenly, I was afraid and very embarrassed." "To provoke him, I said:" "But you take me for a whore?" "No." "No, a neurotic, an hysterical, a nymphomaniac." "That's it." "You're a nymphomaniac." "He looked so devastated that I started laughing." "It was nervous." "Nymphomaniac!" "I did not even know it meant," "Maybe he didn't know neither." "This first contact with love had not really satisfied me." "I had felt a pleasure unknown to me so far, very violent, but I wanted more." "I dared not look Eric face to face anymore." "I was embarrassed by him." "And also I suspected he was not up to it." "You're crying, my darling." "What happened?" "You had an argument with Eric?" "Answer me." " No, mom, no." " Answer me, my child." "Do not be afraid." "It will stay between us." "I will not say anything to your father." "Where do you come from?" "You don't want to answer me?" "I'm worried." "Since your accident, you're not the same." "Before you trusted me, you talked to me." "Poor mother," "I could not tell her that since my accident" "I was seized by a sex madness that did not stop growing." "She would never have understood!" "She, who only knew the desire that my father inspired to her." "What did she know about love?" "Nothing." "Since she had never been unfaithful to her husband." "I could not tell anything to my mother, nor Eric." "Why did I confess to Gina?" "Because this old high school friend had in my teenage vision an experience that fascinated me." "So, I talked, I told her everything." "She thought it was almost normal." "I insisted." "You understand, before, I did not even know what it meant being lusty." "You were a bit retarded, no?" "It's terrible... but now I have to resist or I would always be making love." " I know it's wrong." " Of course not!" "Love is fine." "But to always want to do it?" "Listen, between frigidity and nymphomania..." "What?" "Between two evils you must learn to choose the least." "And being nympho is less common." "You think I'm a ..." "A nymphomaniac?" "So what?" "So what?" "Gina was the second to call me a nymphomaniac." "I was beginning to believe it." "Alson my body became increasingly demanding." "Though I tried to be careful the scandal had to explode someday." "The next day, the day went as boring as any other day." "But I was afraid." "Since the beginning of the afternoon my flesh vibrated and bullied me." "Will I have the strength to resist any longer?" "There, another day gone by." "One more, one less." "Here, take the mail to sign to the boss." "You want me to see you at home tonight, honey?" " Oh!" "I'm sorry." " No, no, stay, please." "I understand that you desire me, it is normal." "But I already have three appointments for tonight." "Oh, really?" "With your friend Sylvie?" "For me too?" "Both of you at the same time?" "But it is Sodom and Gomorrah!" "Yes!" "Right." "Since you bring the girls, I bring the champagne." "See you later." "So, my little Carole?" "Always young, beautiful... and virgin?" "What is it?" "You don't feel well?" " Carole is not here?" " No, she's in the boss's office." "Why are you smiling?" "There is nothing extraordinary." "Of course." "But she's in there since half an hour." "The boss's nephew needs much time to sign three letters." " It's not the boss in there?" " No, he left for two days in Paris." "Mr. Olivier is replacing him." "Come on Eric!" "It is Mr. Olivier who signs the mail by proxy." " I beg you, try to understand." " Understand what?" "That my daughter is a whore, perfectly!" "A nympho, a Jezebel!" "My God, it had to happen to me!" "Let her speak." "Maybe she has an excuse." "There is no excuse for an infamy of this type." "She will go!" "You don't mean what you're saying?" " But where will she go?" " I do not care." "She was my daughter, she cheated me." "I do not know her anymore." "I beg you, Bertrand." "God asks us to forgive those who offend us." "Shut up!" " If you want to go with her, you are free." " Do not get mad, Mom." "Father is right." "I can't stay here." "But I don't want you to leave without knowing where you're going and how you will live." "And I won't be ashamed to share remorse with you." "Remorse is not a substitute to forgiveness." "Within two days, I want her to leave the house." "And all rushed along according to a rigorous provincial logic." "Eric forgave to Olivier to keep his job and to stop the ridicule of the scandal against me." "In the blink of an eye, the news made it throughout the city." "I had become the whore people are pointing to." "Mr. Dirgrand, my ex-boss, was a great man and deplored the conduct of his nephew." "But how to repair the irreparable?" "After all, I was adult." "To get me away from the shame, he proposed to my father to send me to work in Paris at his sister and since he promised she would take care of me my mother agreed to let me go." "And one day, I left Menton, tormented by the remorse to have hurt my mother." "But I have no time." "Yes?" "Wait a second." " Ms. Carole has arrived, ma'am." " Let her in." " Okay, Mrs." " I'm sorry, my honey." "I'll call you later." "Okay, I kiss you." " Good morning, miss." " Good morning, ma'am." " Did you have a good trip?" " Excellent, thank you." "My brother explained everything to me." "Let's forget Olivier." "His intolerable rudeness is even a dishonor to the immensity of his folly." "I know you speak English." "You have a Bachelor of Arts degree." "What do you know about modern art?" "Never mind." "My clients generally are so ignorant that with a little memory you will quickly manage to make them think that you are more educated than them." "Starting tomorrow, you will be in charge of the store with my clerk." "She will put you in the loop." "But you have to be very careful because in eight days you will be alone." "Until I find something better, you will stay here." "Do you like?" "It's very nice." "I do not know how to thank you." "Get used to not give thanks to anyone." "That will avoid you having many disappointments." " You seem confused." " Me?" "No." "What will you do tonight?" "I don't know." "Muriel had done well." "She had understood that to seduce me she had to let me have the most beautiful night of my life." "The sweetness of her words got me drunk as much as the hot wines she offered to me." "Cheers." "Cheers." "I was so good with her ..." " Good evening, Carole." " Good evening, miss." "I was wrong to believe in the sincerity of Muriel's love." "Soon I would be the victim of her Machiavellianism." "You didn't tell me you had a new clerk?" " She is very pretty, right?" " You can say that." "Thank you." "Where did you find her?" "It's my chuckle-head brother who sent her to me." " Your brother from Menton?" " Himself." "Countryside is full of resources." "We should not forget it." "And she is ...?" "I thought you came to discuss business." "Yes, yes, but, tell me about her." "Who is she?" "How is she?" "Well, she's a small shopkeeper which obeys quite well to her lady boss." "A little upset, a little romantic." "The ideal dosage for a rich Roman merchant passing in Paris." "If you can get me an appointment, I buy half of your store." "Deal." "Let's have dinner together tomorrow night." "There's no better occasion to sign a bill of sale." "Tired of these perversions, I was wandering the streets of Paris." "I couldn't stand it anymore." "I was lonely, tired, sick, nymphomaniac." "I said quietly to myself :" "I'm a nymphomaniac" "I'm a nymphomaniac." "Sometimes to cross the path of a man in the street was enough to feel desire rising again through my body." "What I dreaded was that this desire could be reborn in front of any man." "Sick?" "Yes, I was really sick." "But a disease can be cured, the cancer can be cured sometimes." "Why not cure nymphomania?" " You come to me for a query, right?" " Yes, Doctor, but not for me." "It's for a friend." "I hear you." "I felt so embarrassed that I could not talk of me saying I." "So I invented the character of a poor girl who resembled me physically and morally," "It allowed me to tell her all my adventures since my accident." "She understood everything." "Even what I wanted to hide." "You seem very upset about your friend." "You have to send her to me here." "Is it serious?" "She's a nymphomaniac, right?" " Nymphomaniac?" "What does it mean?" " I do not know, I ..." "Do not ever use medical terms when you ignore the exact meaning." "Nymphomania ..." " It is a serious illness." " Yes and no." "It takes a few treatments very special, very long." "Hormonal and psychiatric." "But it can be cured." "Perhaps your friend suffers only from a slight trauma that causes a sexual disorder almost common." "Anyway, Miss, tell your friend that not all tumors are cancerous." "There are many less malignant that benign." "It was the kind of comfort that was offered to those facing death." "But, better than anyone, I was sure to know the exact origin of my evil." "Also tell your friend to come to me with confidence." "She does not have to be ashamed." "And if I do not carefully examine her," "I cannot say anything about her case." "Next." "Muriel had praised Bruno's good education." "And I trusted her easily." "He was a delicious scoffer." "He spoke fluently." "He was cheerful, intelligent, gallant." "But at the end ..." "I do not think I could have spent a nicer evening somewhere else." "With Muriel they made a very pretty couple." "And I wondered if they had been lovers." "Then I thought my question was quite naive." "And suddenly in front of this man and this woman," "I felt a desire so brutal that I wanted to scream." "But I restrained myself." "Again I felt ashamed by this disease that fell on me." "Muriel, with great intuition, probably felt my bewilderment." " Oh!" "I'm sorry." " It's nothing." "I didn't know your vampire appetite." "Charming." "You form a very nice couple." "If only Carole was more relaxed." "It went from bad to worse very quickly ..." "Both undressed and I let them play with me." "Unable to resist, shattered between shame and desire growing inside me." "Unfortunately, the desire was the strongest." "I was so weak." "And they played so well." "I was a prisoner of their desires and mine." "And I was even more alone and bewildered." "It was no use seeing a doctor again if it was to confirm my dark forebodings." "No." "Definitely medicine could not do anything for me." "There was then a last resource :" "Religion." "So far, all the principles that my parents had instilled in me had bothered me more than anything else." "For the first time, I thought believing in God could be my hope of salvation." "Good morning, are you looking for someone?" "No, I ..." "These church doors are always difficult to open but come in." "Please, after you." "What's wrong?" "Are you sick?" "Rest a moment." "Would you prefer me to stay at your side or me to leave?" "So, I can go and devote to my flock?" "Of course." "Thank you." "So, my child ..." "Good morning, miss." "You're late, Carole." "It is a defect that I cannot stand of my employees." "But maybe you got used to go to bed later since being in Paris." "She pretended not to remember our night to humiliate me." "In fact, it hardly matters." "Your private life does not interest me." "But under any circumstances, I want to get here before you." "Go and fill the order form of Mr. Garrucci." " Do you remember that Italian that ...?" " Of course, ma'am." "Perfect, I like when my employees have memory." "When you're finished, you can go home." "I close shop for a month." "Muriel was leaving for a travel business to Japan." "She offered me a month of vacation." "Not out of generosity but to prove that I could only be delighted to live under her domination." "For a change of scenery," "I decided to take a few days holiday on the Atlantic coast, that I hadn't visited yet." "Using the car that Muriel had given me up until her return." "I went there on a bright morning." "I'm going to Arcachon." "Is it in your direction?" " Yes, I'm even going beyond." " Lucky me." " Can I get in?" " Sure." "Thank you." "What's wrong?" "Are you crazy?" "Let me go." "Let me!" "Let me!" "Since then, I was not the same." "I knew my disease was all-powerful." "Why fight against the impossible?" "The first time it was chance that brought you here." "But today?" "Does it matter to know where you're going if you do not know who you are?" "What is it?" "Do you need me?" "The priest knew that some confessions needed God's nature to be receivable to men." "And I immediately trusted him." "To break free of my anxieties, I told my story in detail." "How I had lived in Menton, under what circumstances I had left, what I had become." "But nothing seemed to shock him." "Perhaps you consider this normal." "But who says that God believes the same thing?" "God always forgives those who suffer, the sin they commit." "And if I say that sometimes I took pleasure ..." "A fugitive pleasure that you then pays with much suffering, right?" "It hurts so much, father!" "The body, the soul, everything is rotten in me." "No." "You're aware of this evil inside you." "What you will need now is the will to fight." " I feel so weak." " God tests you." " He leaves when I need him ..." " Do not sin against hope!" "To begin with, did you go to see a doctor?" "Yeah, well ... no ... yes ..." "I am sure that a sick body prevents true healing of the soul :" ""Mens sana in corpore sano"." "You must be active instead of withdrawing into yourself and your little problems." "Yes, yes, your little problems, your very little problems, in respect to the major problems God inflicts to all men." "What if you had a deadly disease?" " I'd rather ..." " No, do not blaspheme." "He hears you." "He is everywhere," "Even here." " He only has three leaves." " Four." "Don't you see the fourth?" "It is here, as God." "Well, enough speaking about him." "Think about him, it will be just fine." "I think about him but ..." "Think less of you and more about the others." " I have nobody." " One day someone will come for sure." "Everything will be better for you." "Meanwhile, why not spend your time more wisely and do a good deed?" "I don't know..." "Dedicate yourself to an activity." "Following the advice of the priest, I registered to the University of Paris." "I studied with ardor a course in philosophy." "Unfortunately, my illness was stronger than my will." "I went crazy again." "And I thought of the evil that tormented me." " See you Saturday, we go to Deauville." " Okay." "Goodbye." "Goodbye." "No, no!" "It's not my fault!" "Yes, take a whip and hit me!" "It feels so good." "No!" "I don't want, I don't want to see my father again." "If he learns who I am ..." "Yes, Muriel ..." "Slowly ..." "like this ..." "You see, father ..." "Your sermons were useless." "However, I prayed, I prayed." "My God!" "God!" "Help me!" "Save me!" "Relax a bit now." "You're safe." "I'm here." "I won't leave you." "That's it." "Try to wake up a little." "Too much sleep has tired you." "Try looking around." "Come on!" "Open your eyes." "Light will do you some good." "You will save her." "A young body does not accept death so easily." "To save a body, it's nothing, Right, father?" "It's a good thing but you're right, it's not enough." "Let us join our efforts if we want her to ..." "But medicine can't do nothing against some disorders of the mind?" "You know her, father." "Tell me about her." "Help me to help her." "In his delirium, I heard that ..." "It is indeed a rather special case, pretty pitiful." "This girl had ..." "Do not leave me alone." "Alone, alone with him." "I'm lost." "Yes, I'm lost." "In a word, she says she's nymphomaniac." "As if she proudly claimed her shame of this disease." "But what does she know?" "Did a reputable doctor diagnose ..." " I think not." "But the more serious in her case is that actually believing to be a nymphomaniac because of a certain sexual disorder, in my opinion, she acts as a real nymphomaniac." "Does this relate to psychiatric medicine?" " Rather psychosomatic." "In that case the treatment can be long and delicate, with an uncertain outcome." "But she must be saved!" "It seems you take her case to heart." " It is the duty of a physician ..." " Don't misunderstand me." "At the contrary, I paid tribute to the doctor and the man." "No!" "No!" " Come on, relax!" "Yes you can." "You can and you must do what I could not do." "She's a very lonely girl who can't expect anything from her family." "I'm not going to take her in my house!" "I'm not married but ..." "Doctor!" "I was looking for you." "She had another crisis so I gave her a painkiller." "Very well." "What more?" "Her parents." "His father sent a telegram, He can't come to fetch her." "What do we do?" "We can't let her go as she came, alone and sick." " Prepare her things, I'll take her." " But ..." " You were going to say something?" " No, I thought ..." " That I was wrong?" " No, on the contrary." "Sorry." " I have fear for all that it ..." " And me I have no fear at all anymore." "Carole is saved." "How I envy your faith in God." "In God and love too." "God also needs love, and I and you and her, all of us." "Michel kept his word." "He took me at his home." "He did everything possible to make me feel comfortable." "Never in my parents house, I had felt as well at home." "I only trembled with the idea to be unable to pay him for all this trouble and to disappoint him by succumbing again to this terrible disease." "We had long conversations in this pupose." "What a relief to talk to him with all my soul, to the physician as well as the man." "And how he knew how to listen." "He did not even need to talk." "I felt he understood everything, without judging me." "He interrupted me only at the end." "When I had finished." "That's it." "You know everything." "I'm an incurable nymphomaniac." "You are not a true nymphomaniac." "I've seen some." "And these poor girls would never have spoken as you just did." "But maybe, in a moment, I will be very nervous and I will suddenly want to ..." "No, Carole." "And to be sure, I'll have you examined very carefully." "Very carefully indeed." "Michel took me to see several medical specialists." "I suffered examinations, analyzes, tests, interviews and tests of all kinds." "No, no." "Does it hurt here?" "How about here?" "Does it hurt?" "How about here?" "Apparently, everything is correct." "The longer and the more painful was the psychiatric analysis." "My interviewer had no mercy, nor decency." "The first time, I did not answer to his questions." "But Michel scolded me." "You must answer to his questions, Carole." "I cannot, his questions are so indiscreet and it hurts me to remember some details." "But you must." "Your healing depends on it." "Try to remember." "This man." " It was you who provoked him!" " No!" "I did not want to go so far." "I felt so embarrassed." "But my desire was the strongest and I couldn't fight." " Go on." " I cannot anymore, I can't remember." "You must!" "Then you will feel relieved." "A last effort." "I was leaving out of these sessions completely exhausted." "Fortunately, he was here." "And I told myself that all that I did, all that I suffered, it was for him." "Alone I would never had the bravery, but for him ..." "For you, for you, Michel." "Suddenly, I felt the desire to see him, to put my body against his." "Was it my sickness returning again?" "Or an irresistible force that drew me to Michel and ..." "Get dressed." "Get inside." "No, no, at the wheel." "Start the car." "Start it!" "I was schocked." "For the first time Michel had misunderstood my intentions." "Because me, I knew, I had finally understood." "The force that had pushed me to enter his room tonight had nothing to do with the unhealthy desires, sexual and purely physical, that threw me into the arms of men in the past." "The proof is that I was not really ashamed." "And I could look straight into his eyes." "It's him who looked down in front of me." "That was when he realized that I was really healing." "And that's why I have kept of that night and this car expedition a memory at once terrible and wonderful." "Some days later, ..." "Was it a chance or an unconscious will from me, whatever it was, my steps took me to a well-known neighborhood." "And I met Muriel." "Carole!" "Carole, honey!" "What a pleasant surprise!" "Why did you ditch me?" " It's rather you who ..." "Let's not argue for so little." "Come on." "Are you scared?" "I learned about your stupid accident." "Thank God, you are divine." "You look like a girl in love." "How is he?" "Tall?" "Handsome, young, intelligent?" "Of course, since you love him." "And physically, is everything okay?" "I see." "Some kinks." "But it's normal, especially with your temper a bit special." "Of course that's between us." "I'm your friend, Carole." "Did you know that Bruno is in Paris?" "He'd like to see you again." "So do I." "I give a small party at home after tomorrow." "If you feel like it." "If your body feels like it, Carole ..." "Of course you can bring the man of your life." "Counting on you, Carole!" "I had made a mistake to follow and listen to Muriel." "In front of Michel, I felt uncomfortable." "Should I speak or stay silent?" "I needed to confess to the father." "As if I was foreseeing a danger or a new trap." "I looked in vain." "But I found another advisor and I realized where was my duty." "I had to tell everything to Michel." "Only to him I could and I had to tell everything." "That's what I did right away." "His reaction surprised me a bit at the start." "You did well to tell me." "I knew since yesterday that you were hiding something from me." "Forgive me." " You know what you will do?" " I'm not going there." " On the contrary." " But ..." "What or who do you fear?" "Muriel?" "Bruno or you?" "Indeed, if I ask you to go to that party it's because I trust you." "What if I let myself dragged in as before?" "No, Carole." "You're not the same woman as before." "I realized then that he was right." "He submitted me to a last test." "And I had to act honestly, regarding my love for him, and show myself worthy of his trust." "I prepared myself with an unimaginable distress." "Hey!" "Look who's coming." "I never!" "I won the bet, I was sure she could not resist the temptation." "My dear." "What a joy to see you!" "You can't imagine the pleasure I have to see you again!" "If your body fancies ..." "I leave you." "You won't feel lonely with these two." "translation : aloysius70"