"It's alive!" "OK, everyone out." "I got to drop a whole fudge cake." "Andrew Lloyd Weber's The Beastmaster is Broadway's newest smash sensation." "¤ I'm Dar, the Beastmaster ¤" "David Hasselhoff returns to Broadway as Dar the Beastmaster." "¤ I seek vengeance against the cult leader ¤" "¤ I'm Dar the Beastmaster ¤" "¤ I'm a little slave girl ¤" "Country singer Faith Hill stars as Kiri." "¤ Is there no one for me?" "¤" "¤ I'm the Beastmaster ¤" "¤ My friend's a black panther ¤" "¤ Your thoughts are on bestiality ¤" "Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick are reunited... as the twin ferrets Kono and Bono." " Hey, Kono." " Hey, Bono." " Where's Frono?" " You don't know." "Hakuna matata!" "And the original tap-dancing kid, Alfonso Ribeiro... is a panther named Panther." "¤ These claws of mine dig into you ¤" "¤ When I make love to you ¤" "¤ I'm gonna throw your baby in the fire ¤" "Kiss rocker Gene Simmons makes his Broadway debut as Max." "¤ 'Cause I'm a cult leader ¤" "¤ Follow today a cult leader ¤" "¤ I'll make you pray to me ¤" "¤ Cult leader ¤" "¤ It's the law of the jungle, it's I-o-v, love ¤" "¤ Beastman and girl ¤" "¤ Together in harmony ¤" "I'll get you, Beastmaster!" "Thank you." "It is an honor to have won the Tour de France... for a seventh time!" "Lucky seven!" "You know, I've made a bet with your President Chirac... that I would win this race seven times... and break the all-time record." "In fact, President Chirac bet me all of France... that I couldn't win seven times." "He even got all his government officials to sign this document... making me the Super-President of France." "Go on and say it, you little weasel." "We're pleased you're a ventilator... and we hope you appreciate our crust pâté." "That's right, all you little Pepe le Pews." "Lance Armstrong is large and in charge!" "Bring her down, boys." "Super-President!" "Back up." "Who's this bitch?" "You half-smiling at me?" "I'll give you something to half-smile about." "Half a set of balls in your mouth." "How do you like that, Mona Lisa?" "I'll make you moan." "You laughing at my balls?" "I'll tell you something, baby." "I beat cancer, I'll beat the fuck out of you." "You got Grey Poupon." "I'll poop on you." " Mon Dieu!" " Oh, God, I'm lonely!" "Wait a second." "Wait a second." "Where's Frogette?" "Frogette!" "Was it no good, Super-President Armstrong?" "No, baby." "All those years on that bike seat." "Come on, baby." "You got to do it hard!" "Come on." "I want to cross that finish line!" "Cross that finish line." "That's right, Lance." "We're going to cross that finish line." "What's this "we" shit?" "Hey, baby." "Merry Christmas." "Yes, I know I said I'd stop calling, but it's the holidays... and I just wanted to say how happy I am that you found someone new." "Is he there right now?" "The whole family is there opening presents." "Well, that's just great, because I have a present for you." " Oh, my God!" " Santa?" "Delores!" "How could you?" "Honey!" "It's not what you think." "We're just... we're role-playing." "You just earned 50 experience points." " Can I play?" " No." "Oh, dear!" "Our fleet is being destroyed!" "Will help ever arrive?" " Did someone call for a hero?" " Thank goodness!" "Fuck Rogers is finally here!" " What did you just call me?" " Fuck Rogers." "My name is Buck, Buck Rogers." "The robots are through the south defenses." "Fuck Rogers, we need your help immediately!" "It's Buck!" "My name is Buck, not Fuck!" "What's with you aliens?" "It's Buck!" "Damn!" "What the?" "It's Buck, Buck, Buck, Buck!" "What are you talking about?" "I've been shot!" "Fuck, it hurts!" "Welcome, Fuck." " It's Buck!" " That does it!" "Fuck you!" "Fuck you!" "Fuck you!" "Fuck you!" "You really told all the aliens that Buck's name was Fuck?" "I was attempting human comedy." "My honey!" "It still counts, right?" "Darling!" "It's not what you think." "We were just role-playing." "Yeah, I know."