"Mother and Child" "Her birthday is coming up." "She'll be 37." "I spoke to Bill Colden about you." "He says you're one of the best lawyers he's ever worked with." "And I know Bill." "Praise doesn't come easy to him." "We had a good relationship." "He runs that firm well." "Yes he does." "So, in your estimation, what are your professional strengths?" "Well, I don't believe in improvisation." "I prepare my cases rigorously." "I'm on top of clients." "I handle them well." "I protect them from themselves." "I prefer to work on a project by myself but I can work just as well in a team, if necessary." "I work equally well with men or women... but I prefer to report to a man." "Why's that?" "Many women find me threatening." " Would I be reporting to you?" " Yes." "So, we'd have nothing to worry about, then." "Why do you think women find you threatening?" "I'm not in the sisterhood. I'm my own person." "I saw from this that you moved to and from this area several times." "I've gone wherever I've had to go to get ahead." "But you always return here." "This part of the world is as good as any." "Well Elizabeth, your resume is very impressive." "It's no secret you'd be a great asset to us." "I would not disappoint you." "If you wouldn't mind... could you give me some of your personal background?" "I was born here in Los Angeles... and I was given up for adoption on the day of my birth." "My mother was 14 when she had me." "And that's all I know about her." "My adoptive father died when I was 10." "My adoptive mother and I are not close." "My name, Elizabeth Joyce, is one I picked out for myself in junior high." "It's my legal name now." "I don't go by any other." "I live alone." "I have since I turned 17." "I've never been married, and I have no plans to marry." "I value my independence above all things." "That way I don't have any expectations to fulfill... other than my own, which are great enough." "That's all she wrote." "We've been married for four years." "And we've been trying from the beginning." "But we just haven't been able to." "And we've been hoping, you know, against hope, as they say... but that just isn't going to be." "And we've accepted that." "And we're not bitter." "I mean, I don't think..." "Do you think we're bitter about it?" "No." "No, we're not." "So, we could be good parents, you know." "Joseph is a very tender man." "He's affectionate." "And, we could learn to love a baby in a minute, even if it wasn't ours." "Would we get to name the baby ourselves?" "It depends on the circumstances." "Sometimes the biological parents and the adoptive parents agree on a name." "We could agree to agree." "Well, we're ready now, to adopt." "I mean, blood is important... but it's the time spent together that really matters." "Isn't that right?" " Oh my god." " What?" "What?" "What?" "Why didn't you shut me up?" "It's alright, Lucy, everyone who goes to her office is nervous, okay?" "Gave that whole speech about time spent together." "Where the hell did I get that?" " Baby, I have no idea." " Why didn't you open your mouth?" "Lucy don't try..." "Why didn't you say a word?" "Sweetie, she liked you." " Do you think?" " Yes, I think." "Just relax." "Okay." "How does that feel?" "It feels okay." "Just okay?" "It feels good." "Please God, let us find a baby." "I got ya." "Oh." "Good, Louise." "Put your arm on the side." "There ya go." "This is our general therapy area where we treat patients with chronic pain... and acute injuries." " Hi." "Janelle." " Hi." "Paco." " Here." " Thanks." "Is that man flirting with you?" "Yes he was." "Hi." "Hello." "Say hello to Karen, mija." "Hi." "Your mother had a good day." "She ate really well." "And how long's she been asleep?" "For about half an hour." "She really needed it." "I can change her into her nightgown before I leave." "I'll do that." "I'm gonna be a little late tomorrow." "It's back to school for this one." "Ah." "I'll see you tomorrow." "These need clipping." "Mom, I'm gonna look for a new person for you." "Sofia never asked me if I minded that she brought the girl over while school was out." "I don't know what I would've said, but she should've asked me." "You cannot fire her." "Hi." "We're Steven and Tracy from next door." "We just wanted to come by and say hi and welcome to the building." "Thank you." "We only moved in two months ago, so, you know we know what it's like not to know anyone." "It's a pretty safe building though, don't you think?" "I mean, we think so." "Yes, it's quiet." "Yeah." "So you're here all by yourself, right?" "Yes, that's right." "Yeah." "I told Steven that I thought so." "Didn't I?" "Yeah." "Yeah." "It's mostly single people in the building, you know, no children." "So far." "You know, I was just in the middle of something." "Oh, don't worry." "We'll talk again." "I'm home most days... and so just, you know, come by and borrow a cup of sugar or something." "It was nice meeting you." "Lucy, are you there?" "Lucy-Lu!" "Are you there, or aren't you?" "Lucy." "I'm not home." "Okay, call me back." "I'll try you back in a little while." "Oh yeah, yeah." "Yeah." "Oh." "I don't know if this thing is still recording or if I got cut off." "is this thing still recording?" "Lucy?" " l'm sorry." "I can't." " Don't stop." " Lucy." "Okay, okay." "Okay, I'm gone." " l lost it. I lost it." " Come on, Lucy." " Okay, bye." "I lost it." "I had a new dream a couple of days ago." "I come home and try to get in but my key breaks inside the lock." "I look through the window and I can see you in my bed sleeping." "I go in through the back door and walk up to you and smell your breath." "It smells of another woman's breast milk, not mine." "And the bed is wet." "You've wet the bed and I start to cry... because I don't have clean sheets to make it fresh." "Sorry, I didn't mean to stare." "Paco." "Karen, right?" "Clara told me your name." "Clara?" "What else did she say about me?" "Nothing else." "She always has time on her hands to be talking to someone." "That's why her work stinks." "So, was it your idea or his?" "Oh, please don't, okay?" "I just need your support on this." "Oh, well see, I was just wondering whose idea it was." "It was my idea." "Okay?" "Your mother-in-law is gonna blow a gasket... her prince raising the child of a stranger." "What about you?" "Are you gonna love this baby or no?" "Well, there is no baby to speak of yet." "What's the next step?" "We are meeting a woman on Wednesday." "She is six months pregnant." "And she's just now deciding to give up this baby?" "No." "Apparently she's already turned down a few couples." "Turned down?" "Who's approving who?" "There's an argument that you'd be doing her a favor." "Nobody's doing anybody a favor." "Okay, everybody stands to win." "You know there is so much positioning for everything nowadays." "Motherhood should be something simpler than that." "I'm sorry, Lucy." "That was a horrible thing to say." "I'm sorry, Lu. I'm an idiot." "Forgive me." "Please, I'm sorry." "Oh, you really wear me out." "Ah." "We gave you one of our better offices." "And what did I do to deserve it?" "Nothing, but we have high hopes." "As well you should." "Any questions?" "Concerns?" "No." "Welcome dinner tomorrow night, Mistral, 8:15." "You know it?" "Sure." "See you there." "How's work?" "It's good." "There's a new training program... to work with people who are recuperating from chemotherapy." "They asked if any of us wanted to participate, and I said yes." "So, they're paying us to learn something new, so that's good." "There's a new therapist." "He's a man, oh he's my age." "He's a little heavyset." "He's graying, you know?" "He's friendly." "Everybody likes him." "Watch yourself, Karen." "Don't set yourself up for falls." "Alright, now press up against my hand." "That's right." "Now let it go." "Very good." "Just like that." "Okay?" "Amy." "Here you go." "Oh, here comes Valentino." "Hey." "I feel like we got off on the wrong foot." "Why do you say that?" "Well you seemed a little upset the other day when..." "You don't know me well enough to know if I was upset." "That was good work, Karen." "I have some time before I have to be home." "I'm getting a cup of coffee." "Do you mind if I join you?" "Alright." "You folks ready?" "Coffee, black, please." "Same for me." "Thank you." " You know what?" "I'll have the apple pie, too." " Okay." "Can't seem to stay away from apple pie." "You should watch your weight." "Yeah, I should." "So, how long have you been at the clinic?" "I've been there six years, six months." "April 11th, 2004 was my first day." "Good memory." "Yeah. I was at Westside Memorial for eleven years before that." "Westside, I hear that's a good place." "Yeah well I didn't see eye-to-eye with my supervisor." "She was sloppy and she needed me to pick up the slack for her." "I got tired of it and I told her so... and she had me fired." "This is cold." "Oh." "So what about you?" "I've been down here like five months now." "I'm from the Bay Area." "Been a therapist for four years." "Before that I drove for a car company." "I'm divorced." "I'm a grandfather." "Can you imagine?" "And my daughter Melissa, she's 28, she has twins." "They weren't exactly planned but... what can you do?" "She's happy." "She still lives up there." "What else would you like to know?" "We don't have to interrogate each other." "This is not a date." "Interrogate's a harsh word." "You live by yourself?" "No." " What's so funny?" " No, nothing." "I just can't seem to say the right things around you, and I'm trying." "Believe me." "What do you mean?" "I just feel like I keep putting my foot in my mouth every time I talk to you, and..." "I just don't know why." "Look, I'm sorry." "Let's forget I said that." "I don't know what I'm talking about." "I'm not a difficult person." "No, I don't mean that." " No, you're not comfortable with me." " No, I am." " My words are too harsh for you." " No...no...no...no...no, I..." "Do you know what you want?" "I don't care." "A boy." "Biological parents get to visit their children and have a hand in their upbringing." " lsn't that the case now?" " No." "No, it's your child." "You call the shots." "It's just without all that secrecy, you know?" "So if one day our baby wants to know where they come from... then they have a right to know." "I hope they don't change their minds about all these rules 20 years from now." "You know, they always seem to change their minds about things like that." "Who does?" "The experts." "Well, I think Joseph's gonna be a great dad." "Don't you think?" "Yes." "It's all he's ever wanted." "Hey, Elizabeth." "I didn't realize it was just the two of us." "Oh, my partners would put you to sleep in a minute." "I thought this would be better." "It's not what I expected." "I hope you don't think it's inappropriate." "I just like to know what everything means, that's all." "Just the boss getting acquainted with his new employee." "Something to drink?" " Sparkling water." " Yes ma'am." "Are you married?" "I was." "My wife passed away five years ago." " What was her name?" " Maureen." "What about her do you miss the most?" "We were close." "That's hard to come by." "That's what I miss most about her." "In fact, my children say my wife and I were closer to each other than we were to them." "I was hoping they hadn't noticed." "How old are they?" "Maria's 29." "Julian's 30." "You started young." "Not so young." "So you're no spring chicken." "No." "No I'm not." "You're still handsome." "Thank you." "Mom?" "Mom." "That young doctor, he said he'd be back first thing in the morning to talk to us." "I don't wanna die here." "You're not gonna die." "You're gonna be fine." "Expect me to live forever?" "Don't start that again." "Even if I could I wouldn't want to." "Just one disappointment after another." "What?" "What, Mom?" "What keeps you here so late?" "Sneider and Lubezky." "Oh." "Not easy clients." "They're downright difficult." "But they'll be happy with that." "How 'bout you?" "Time for beddy-bye?" "Yes." "Yes it is." "Well I could invite you over for a drink." "Unless you think that's inappropriate." "We'll take your car." " Oh..." " Oh, hi." "We were just talking about you." "Weren't we, Steve?" "'Cause I'm getting up to use the bathroom seven times a night... and our rooms are back-to-back and I just hope I'm not waking you." "I haven't heard a thing." "Oh good, good." "Well, you'd let us know, wouldn't you?" "Sure." " l'm Paul." " Oh, hi." "I'm sorry." "This is Steven and tell me your name again." " Tracy." " Tracy." "This is Paul, my father." "Oh, it's so nice to meet you, sir." "Spending the night in the garage?" " Oh..." " Oh, no." "It's for a birthing class that starts tonight." "He's my coach." "We'll get out of your way, then." " Good night." " Nice meeting you." "Adopted, right?" "So what was that about, out there?" "She was almost pleased you were Black." "Did you notice?" "It was a chance for her to exercise her liberal good will." "Now they'll be doing the math all night." "Maybe the father's only half-Black and the mother is White." "They seem like nice enough people." "Oh, come on." "It's impossible to know what they are." "They're too busy reinventing themselves to everyone's liking." "Cheers." "What are you thinking about?" "My wife." "Maureen." "You'll be okay." "I want you to drink the rest in one go." "No." "Stay still." "Don't move, old man." "That feels good." "Let me come first." "Now you." "Good boy, Paul." "Good boy." "Be yourselves." "You have a lot going for you." "She wants a young couple." "She wants a woman with a job or a career." "And you have the bakery." "Lucy, she'll like that." "Questions?" "No." "All right." "I love you, Joseph." "This is Ray." "This is Lucy and Joseph." " Hi." " Hi." "Hello." "I'll let you talk." "How long do we have?" "As long as we need." "I've already turned down several couples." "Did she tell you that?" "Yeah." "Well what kind of people are you looking for?" "I wanna hear from her first before I talk to you." "You must have something you wanna say." "Most people have a speech prepared of some kind." "Come on." "What did you expect from this meeting?" "Well I didn't expect to feel like I'd been dragged into a principal's office." " Which is how I feel right now." " Okay." " Good answer." " Okay." "I'll ask you some questions?" "Do you believe in God?" "I was raised Catholic." "Do you believe in God?" " Well I'm not a very religious person but Joseph is." "Aren't you?" "You don't believe that a higher being created you and loves you... and looks after you?" "No. I'm sorry." "What do you believe?" "I don't know." "Tell me what you believe." "No." "Look, let's not play games." "You either wanna tell me who you are or you don't." "If you don't, I'd rather us just part ways." "Okay wait, wait, wait." "Sit down." "Please." "I believe that when we're born we come from nothing." "And that when we die we go back to nothing." "That what we make of our lives... is as a result of our will and our luck... the strength of our character and a roll of the die." "And this is what you would teach a child?" "Yes." "This is what you would teach my baby." "The baby would be my baby to teach." "Why didn't you shut me up?" "Why did you just sit there like a dummy?" "You should've told me to shut up, Joseph." "What were you think..." " Lucy, Lucy, will you just stop it, please?" " No!" "No!" "Do not treat me like a child." "Jesus Christ, Lucy." "It didn't go well, Sister." "She wants to meet again." "What did she say?" "Nothing." "Not a word, but she wants to see you again." "I don't believe it." "She can do Friday morning." "Friday's not good for me." "Well then you should come in by yourself, Lucy." "You don't wanna lose momentum." " Yes." " Yes?" " Thank you." "Thank you." " Yup." " Thank you." " Yeah." "I'm sorry." "She's gone now." "She will never see your face... and you will never see hers." "There will always be a silence between you." "I don't want that for us." "For you and me." "I know in my heart that we will meet one day and you will forgive me." "Your mother was a good woman, Karen." "I'm glad it was over quickly for her." "She was ready." "How the hell do you know if she was ready?" "She said so." "She said no such thing to you." "She did not." "Obviously I don't need you five days a week anymore." "You're right." "You don't." "Once is enough." "You pick the day." " Saturday." " No." "I want the house to myself on the weekend." "I'm going to take another job." "And that will be from Monday through Friday." "You can take either Saturday or Sunday." "And Cristi will have to come with me." "I know you don't like her." "That's not true." "She knows how to stay out of your way." "Say hi to everyone for me." "Well thank you for coming in." " Okay." " Okay." "Hi." "Tom Weller." " Hi." " What can I do for you today?" " Karen." " Well it's nice to meet you, Karen." "Karen." "Wow." "Do you... sorry." "Sit." "I was in this branch about three years ago and I saw you." "I ran out of here like the place was on fire." "My mother died." "How are you?" "You married that girl from NoHo High." " Right?" "Hailey?" " Hailey, yeah." "Do you have kids?" "Yeah- we have two boys, and a girl." "But they're gone now." "They, you know, they have their own lives." "I think about you all the time." "My daughter asked me if I was dating." "I didn't know what to tell her." "You're having an affair with one of your attorneys." "Well is it an affair if neither party is married?" "An affair is any sexual or romantic relationship... of an informal or temporary nature." "Why thank you, Counselor." "I read your brief on the Nelligan case." "It's outstanding." "You cited Escalante versus L.A. County, which is a very obscure case... but perfect for this." "Good work." "I'm recommending you to lead the Thomas and Thompson team." "You think that's gonna go over well with Guinness and Wilder and all your wonder boys out there?" "Oh, they'll have to eat it. lt is my law firm." "I'm gonna have to pass." "Thank you, though." "Why would you do that?" "When I've been here long enough to win this kind of promotion," "I'll take it." "I know I deserve it." "But just give me a chance to earn it." "What do you want for yourself, professionally?" "I wanna sit on the Circuit Court of Appeals." "You've been at four firms in three cities in ten years." "That's not a good strategy." "You wanna sit tight at one place, develop relationships, win the appointments." "That's not how I wanna live my life." "I'll get there." "There are many ways to skin a cat." "You know, you haven't asked me anything about what it's been like for me... all this time." " Well..." " No, it needed to come from you." "What I felt with you..." "I've never felt again for anyone." "Do you remember?" "Yeah." "Hey Karen." "Sorry to hear about your mother." "Loss of a parent's a horrible thing." "Yeah." "Thank you." "Hey!" "Is this yours?" "Yeah, they're tomatoes from my garden." "Yeah, what the hell's it doing hanging on my locker?" "I just thought you might like them." "Yeah, what made you think that, you jerk?" "I don't appreciate being in my place of work and finding this hanging on my locker for everyone to see... like I'm your god damn girlfriend." "You're an idiot!" "Hey." "Hey!" "You know, the word is thank you, you weirdo." "Fucking rude!" "Weirdo!" "Where's your wife?" "She won't be back until ten." "No." "No-no." "That's today's menu." "Take it or leave it." "This fun for you?" "No surprises." "Well how 'bout a drink?" "Why don't we just go back to your place?" "Let's get going, cowboy." "I'm the one who should apologize." "Well, let's just try to forget about it." " Alright." " Okay." " l'm not a weirdo but..." " No." "I didn't mean that." "Let me finish." "Okay?" "I'm not a weirdo but I'm difficult." "Okay?" "I don't make friends easily." "I demand a lot from others." "It's unfair but I do." "I don't like being disappointed." "And you took me by surprise... okay, took me by surprise with your attention." "Okay?" "Alright." "Okay." "We could meet up Saturday night if you want." "I'd like that." "I haven't told anyone what I'm having." "I'm having a boy." "Is that what you guys want?" "Joseph wants a boy." "And you?" "I'm happy either way." "If you were having a baby yourself... a baby of your own, you'd want a boy or girl?" "A girl." "Do you always tell the truth?" "The truth is easier to remember." "Okay." "This is what I want." "I want to visit your house and see how you guys live." "I wanna spend a couple nights there." "I wanna meet your parents and your friends." "That doesn't have to be all in one go." "And I don't have to interview them or be interrogated." "After that I'll decide." "If I think we're a good match," "I want you to come to birthing class with me." "But not your husband." "I don't want him at the birth, either." "Just you." "And I wanna be able to name the baby myself." "After that, it's goodbye." "That's the deal." "Okay." "What are you doing?" "Get down." "You're gonna kill yourself." "Here you go." "Take one, you little thief." "Go 'head, take it." "Take it." "What is this?" "What the hell is she doing with this necklace?" "You're hurting her, Karen." "What the hell is she doing with this?" "You are hurting her, Karen." "Let her go." "What the hell is she doing with this?" "Your mother gave it to her." "She did not." "For her birthday." "This belonged to her mother." "She did not give it to you." "She did." "Your mother was a very generous person." "She was a wonderful woman." "Turn that thing off." "Well what else did she give you?" "A photo of herself." "Why?" "Because I asked her for it." "Why is this upsetting you, Karen?" "I'm not upset." "I'm just trying to figure out what's going on in my own house." "Did my mother ever talk to you about me?" "Sometimes." "What did she say?" "What the hell did she say?" "She said you were not happy." "She said that?" "What were her words?" "I can't remember her exact words, but she blamed herself." "Did she tell you what happened?" "She said she had ruined your life." "And that she was very sorry for that." "Why didn't she say that to me?" "Why the hell didn't she say that to me?" "Why did she say it to you?" "She had to say it to me." "I think she was scared of you, Karen." "Hello. I'm Dr. Stone." " Hi." " Hi." "So you are Elizabeth Joyce." "Who referred you?" "You're on a list of doctors who consult for Walsh, Connery and Lewis." "I'm one of their attorneys." "You do look familiar, though." "We've never met." "What can I do for you?" "I'm a month late with my period." " Are you sexually active?" " I'm not pregnant." "What form of birth control do you use?" "My tubes are tied." "How long have they been tied?" "Since I was 17." "That's unusual." "It's not a procedure normally done on minors, except for medical reasons." "I had it done across the border." "They didn't know I was a minor." "Any other symptoms?" "Abdominal pain?" "Cramps?" "Fever?" " No." " No?" "Let's take a look at you." "Were you at USC Law?" "I have met you." "I'm friends with Sophie Sparrow and Nina Marshall." "You used to live next door to them." "We never actually talked." "You were, you were a little intimidating." "What's wrong?" "You know, I don't appreciate looking back on my life with someone I've known for two minutes." "Oh, I'm sorry." "I didn't mean anything by that." "I'm so sorry." "That was unprofessional, and bad timing." "I don't presume to know anything about you." "Please forgive me." "Okay." "I'll have the nurse get a blood sample and a smear and..." "You could be pregnant. lt's not impossible." "I'm done, Karen." "I'll see you next week." "Thank you." "Thanks." "Have a seat." "Have you ever looked for your biological parents?" "No." "They might be looking for you." "There is no they." "Father's not part of my imagination." "I live in her hometown." "How hard can it be for Her Fucking Majesty to find me?" "It's better this way." "We're all better off like this." "Why do you ask?" "I thought she'd be very pleased with who you are." "Spending time with you away from work is delightful." "It's more than delightful. ln fact... since you landed here, I can't tell if I'm coming or going." "You want what you want." "And I like that." "In fact your willfulness is a great part of your charm." "But it's getting a little scary for me, having these feelings." "I'm going to have to bow out." "You don't seem like a man who's scared by scary things." "It's precaution." "Sometimes when you fall, it's hard to get up." "Hi." "Am I early, 'cause..." "No." "No, it- that..." "It's fine." "Look, I'm sorry." "It's not a good time for me." "I don't think I can..." "Really?" "I thought maybe we'd go over to the Shadow Grill in Burbank." "Look, I wanna say something to you." "I had a baby girl when I was 14." "And she was given up for adoption." "I don't know where she is." "I don't know who she is." "Everything I do... every thought in my head takes me back to her." "Everywhere I go..." "I look for her face in the crowd." "I write her letters that I never send... and I buy her birthday gifts." "I have a name for her, Rachel." "I don't know if she's dead or alive." "I have nothing else." "That's who I am." "I have nothing to give." "Where on earth did you come from?" "Hello Elizabeth." "How are you?" "You tell me." "Well, you are pregnant." "It happens rarely with tied tubes but, it does happen." "So, you can talk to the girls up front about coming in and we'll take care of it." "And then we can talk about other forms of birth control." "Okay?" "Hi." "What's going on?" "You don't know who I am or what I want, you cunt." "How old is she?" "She's already a senior in college." "And, she's had all of her medical tests and everything?" "Okay." "You are putting me in a bad mood." "So when do I get to meet her?" "Never." "I bet if I met her, I'd be able to see right through her." "What?" "Regarding what?" "Whatever it is she's playing at." "English, please." " l don't think this little girl's on the up-and-up." "Okay, wait..." "What..." " l really..." " Why-why..." "You always do that." "What?" "She's great, Mom." " Hi." " Hi." "I'm looking for Paul." "Is he expecting you?" "I'm from the office." "Elizabeth." "Oh." "Sure. I'm Maria, Paul's daughter." "Hi." " Come in." " lt's okay." "Well you can't just stand there." "Come on." "Hey you guys, everyone!" "Everyone!" "This is Elizabeth from Dad's office." "How you doing?" " Hello, Elizabeth." " Have a seat, please." " lt's okay." " No, sit down." "He'll be right off." "Hey." "Is everything all right?" "Yeah." "This is a nice party." "Stay." "Have dinner with us." "I can't." "Sure you can." "No. I can't." "What's going on?" "I'm leaving in the morning." "Leaving, for where?" "Leaving." "What happened?" "Is it something I did, or something I did not do?" "The wind changed." "Is that it?" "Score that goal!" "Ah, thanks, mija." "Karen, you want white or dark?" "Oh thanks, I'll do it." "No. I want to." "Okay." "White." "I'm not used to this." "This is how I want it to be between us." "I'm always rushing to eat, like a hog." "Oh, no." "You got yourself confused with my dad." "Has he told you that he doesn't believe in God?" "The most kind-hearted man in the world has turned his back on Jesus." "Jesus wouldn't turn his back on you, Dad." "Okay." "Okay, I'll stop." "One day we'll be in heaven, laughing at these arguments." "I'll tell you something." "If I'm in heaven, I won't be laughing." "Somebody's gonna have a lot of explaining to do." "Karen, you're a good woman." "You must feel the love of Mary in your heart." "My dad has told me about your loss." "She doesn't really like talking about that." "Sometimes it's hard to understand God's design." "Melissa." "May I speak?" "You're my father's wife now." "My children will grow to know you as their grandmother... because it's the time spent together that counts, more than blood." "Time counts the most." "Find her now... before time runs out." "After that, only regret remains." "And regret is a killer." "Well, Elizabeth... to say that you are grossly overqualified is putting it mildly." "I can't possibly afford anyone like you, though I'd like to." "Believe me." "I don't care about the money." "I can't even give you benefits." "I'm not looking for them." "I've got plenty of my own insurance." "Do you know what you're having?" "A girl." "What are your alternatives?" "If you didn't get this job, what would you do?" "Stay at home and watch game shows." "Okay." "I don't know what to make of you." "I'm just passing through." "What do you think about what Melissa said?" "I actually agree with her." "I think you should look for her." "Why?" "Because whatever happens when you meet her, Karen... it'll be easier than this thing that's eating away at you." "Why haven't you told me this before?" "I was working my way towards it." "She might be out there looking for you." "Have you thought about that?" "There's nothing that I haven't thought of." "You'd know where to start?" "So, what's your biggest fear?" "That she'll spit in my face." "You delivered on November 7th, 1973." "Your mother was the legal guardian of the baby." "You agreed to that before she was born." "And a couple adopted the baby on November 10th." "Unfortunately... the provisions of the adoption don't allow me to give out any information... regarding the identity of the parties involved." "What you can do is write a letter to her." "The letter will be kept in the file." "And if she were ever to contact us, we would give her the letter... and she would be free to reach out to you directly." "I'm sorry, that is the best I can do." "Oh, so, if she had been here, she would've been told the same thing." "That's right." "So, if she was here, she didn't leave me a letter." "Well, there's no letter in the file." "So... she's either not looking... or she didn't want to write a letter... or she thinks I'm not looking for her." "Maybe she doesn't know where to look." "Well I really encourage you to write a letter... because it works." "People find each other." "I have seen it many times." "Anything to report?" "I had a little spotting last week." "And some again yesterday." "Is the baby moving regularly?" "Yes." "Let's do an ultrasound and get some blood work." "Who's there?" "I'm a tenant." "I was just getting some sun." "I'm Violet." "Elizabeth." "How old are you?" "I'm 37." "Free to come and go as you please." "You lucky dog." "What do you do for a living?" "I'm a lawyer." "The law." "Not a big field for the blind." "My mother wants me to be in radio." "She says I have the voice for it." "It's just her fear talking, that I won't be able to make my way." "Does radio interest you?" "I don't know. I don't know what interests me." "Sometimes I tell her I could have a career in phone sex." "She's humorless." "Do you know anyone else in the building?" "No." "Oh." "I'm always here in the afternoons." "Meet me here if you're lonely." "Okay." "I'll see you around." "Goodbye Elizabeth." "Count on me." " l'm gonna put you back there, okay?" " Okay." " And we have more sizes, anyway." " Thank you." "Hey." "Hey." "My grandbaby's in the house." "So what you gonna name him?" "I'm not naming him, they are." "Sebastian." "That's what I was gonna name you if you had been a boy." "Why do you do that?" "Do what, baby?" " ignore my damn wishes." " Hey, hey." "Which are?" "You know what the hell they are." "To give that child away on its birthday?" "To take something... that comes from you... made of you... and part with it forever and ever?" "I don't want it." "I didn't want you either." "I'm not you." "Here you are." "Twenty and pregnant and single, just like I was." "See, I didn't want you." "And now..." "I can't take a breath... without thinking of you and wanting the best of the best for you." " How we doin' back here?" " Good." "Joseph?" "Hey." "What're you doing?" "Oh, who's playing?" "You okay?" "Yeah, I was just thinking." "About what?" "About Ray, what we've gotten ourselves into." "What have we gotten ourselves into?" "The baby of hers that we're planning to keep." "Planning to keep?" "We're adopting a baby." "I thought that you were all in for that." "Well, if not, how the fuck did we get this far?" "I don't know how we got this far, Lucy." "I want a child of my own." "But you know that I can't give you that." "I wish you could." "I've never felt so worthless in my entire life." "You are not worthless." "I could hear his mother's voice speaking through him." "It was fucking freaky." "It's over." "Lucy... you're angry, and upset, and you should be." "But, you guys need to talk about this some more." "No." "I can do this on my own." "Ray won't mind." "She doesn't even like Joseph." "She doesn't?" "No." "She hasn't said anything, but I can tell." "You need to think why you're adopting this baby in the first place." "Why am I adopting this baby?" "It's for Joseph." "That's bullshit." "That's my baby." "I have made a commitment and I'm gonna stick to it." "Mom, this is not like shopping for a pair of shoes." "She's my baby." "She is my baby." "And nobody dared to go back to Chew-And-Swallow to find out what had happened to it." "They were too afraid." "Henry and I were awake until the very end of Grandpa's story." "I remember his good night kiss." "Okay Cristi, it's time to go." "Already?" "Well we'll finish them next week, okay?" "Use the bathroom before we leave." "Oh, here, use this one here." "Okay?" "How's she doing in school?" "Good." "She likes it." "Could I ask you a question?" "Aren't you ever afraid that something could" "I don't know, that she could..." "Fall and break like an egg?" "Sometimes." "How do you live with that?" "Gotta go." "Bye-bye, Karen." "Hello, Elizabeth." "Well, you have what is known as placenta previa." "Your placenta lies low under the baby... partially blocking the cervix." "We might have to consider a C-section." "Maybe even before term." "No." "I'm gonna deliver her." "Well we're not there, yet." "I mean it, Doctor." "I'm gonna push her out myself." "Is that clear?" "Let me take a look." "Has anybody in your family ever had a bleeding disorder?" "From now on, please try not to exert yourself, okay?" "Otherwise I'll put you on bed rest." "I'm Paul's daughter." "Yes." "Maria." "How's Paul?" "He's good." "Is that his?" "No." "Karen... my brother is opening a restaurant in Corpus Christi, Texas." "That's great." "Yeah." "He wants me to move out there... to be his cashier." "Do you want to?" "It's a good opportunity for us." "You know?" "Your money or your life." "Hello, Violet." "How are you?" "Are you married?" "You must be, otherwise you wouldn't be hiding out here so often." "I'm not married." "Hiding from your children?" "No children yet." "Smart move." "I've heard they're a disappointment." "Actually I'm pregnant." "Really?" "A person inside another person." "Science fiction." "She doesn't know a thing." "Who?" "Your baby." "Only her mother's heartbeat." "That should be enough for now." "You're easy to talk to." "So are you." "Can't talk to my mother." "Why not?" "She's so scared for me, it scares the shit out of me." "What's your mother like?" "She's great." "She's patient and gentle." "She's really fun." "Wow." "The truth is I have no idea." "She gave me up for adoption when I was born." "We've never met." "For the longest time I could only think of her as a girl of 14." "That's how old she was when she had me." "She was like you." "But not a virgin." "That's right, not a virgin." "Are you angry at her?" "No." "Not anymore. I used to be." "I don't know what happened, but... all that anger just washed out of me." "So then why not look for her?" "Yeah, I would." "What would you say to her?" "Nothing." "I wouldn't say anything." "I would just sit with her... like we're sitting here right now." "I don't want to impose myself on you." "I don't want to be a nuisance." "I am pregnant and I'd like my baby to know where she comes from." "I live in Los Angeles." "I'm successful in my work and financially independent." "I am open to sharing more about myself, and if you are open to that as well... it would be welcome." "If you don't want to communicate with me," "I will also understand and accept it." "If we were to meet, I think we should look forward, not back... and build something new." "I was born November 7th, 1973." "My name is Elizabeth." "I think of you often." "That's it." "Hello." "Oh, Linda." "Thanks for- thanks for returning my call." "Yeah." "How are ya, Karen?" " l'm good." " Good." "I'll put it in the file right away." "I'll do it right now." "I met someone three months ago." "She's caring, smart, good for me." "We're talking about moving back east." "But if that's my child you're carrying..." "I'm going to say goodbye to all that." "I want you to come back and be with me." "You can put down roots here..." "I'll stay with the firm, I'll pave your way to the top." "You're what I want." "I'll take care of you." "Both of you." "I'll never leave." "All set." "How we doin', here?" "I'm scared." "You're bleeding." "That may be causing the baby a bit of distress." "I want to see her when she's born." "Don't knock me out." "Okay." "Loss of pressure." "Hello." "Happy Birthday, baby." "There ya go." "She's bleeding again." "Give her O-2." "Open her up." "The lines are wide open." "Four units." "It's okay." "It's okay." " Hello." " Good morning." "Good morning." " Good morning." " Good morning." "Has your milk come in yet?" "Oh, we should just put him on the breast." "It'll stimulate it." "No, I'm not nursing him." "Oh, okay." "Have you talked to your doctor about this?" "I don't have to." "Thank you." "Yeah." "Hi." "I want to speak to you." "No, what do you want from me?" "No." "Oh, god." "Oh, hold up." "My fucking baby!" "That is my baby!" "Please..." " No, that's my baby!" " Come on, now." "It's mine!" "Let her go." "Let her go!" "Let her go!" "Sh, sh, sh." "Come on, come on." " That's my fucking baby!" " Miss..." "Please." "Please, Ray!" "I'm gonna be so..." "I'm gonna be so" "You were right." "If God wanted me to be a mother," "He would've made me a mother." "Oh Lucy, I never said that." "The adoption thing is just so unnatural." "Why doesn't anybody just say it?" "Ada, may I come in?" " Please." " Thank you." "Lucy..." "I don't blame her." "What mother would give up her child when she doesn't have to?" "Lucy, there's another baby." "Oh for god's sake." " Now just hear me out." " No." "It's a baby girl." "Now she has no one." "Until that no one comes knocking on our door to take her away." " That's not going to happen." " l think you'd better leave." "Mom." "Is this baby intended for somebody else?" "No." "Absolutely not." "Now there are waiting lists, but, look... it's already arranged, if you want it." "Where's the mother?" "There is no one." "There isn't, okay?" "Sometimes there is just nobody, and this is one of those times." "Lucy... this little girl... you're crossing paths with her today." "If you let it pass, it will be gone forever." "Okay." "Okay." "Okay." "Okay, okay." "She's down." "That won't last." "Maybe not." "Let's wait and see." "Mom, what am I gonna do?" "I can't do this." "It'll pass." "I don't love her." "Yes you do." "It's lack of sleep, girl." "You shouldn't..." "You're not yourself." "When she's..." "She's like this thing, she's this creature in my bed... and oh, I'm so angry at her." "For what?" "For taking over everything." "Day and night." "It's me, me, me." "She just wants, feed me, and clean me, and hold me." "And I do, and she just cries anyway." "Who the fuck does she think she is?" "Well I'll be god damned." "Do you think you're the first woman who ever had a baby?" "What the hell did you think this was gonna be?" "Stop all the god damn whining... grow the fuck up... and get your act together." "Be the mother." "one year later" "This envelope was found in the files, no file number on it." "Thank you." " No name, nothing?" " No." "Oh, I hate to do this." "We have a birth date." "Great." "There it is." " See that it gets into the file." " Will do." "Thank you." "Evette." "Karen... thank you so much for coming in." "What's happening?" "Sit down, please." "No." "What's going on?" "This letter is for you." " lt's from her?" " Yes." "Oh." "Did you meet with her?" "No." "She must've spoken to one of my coworkers." "And Karen, I'm afraid it was a while ago." "The letter was misplaced." "I'm very sorry about that." "What?" "She's been dead for over a year." "There's a daughter, a baby girl." "And, she was given up for adoption." "That's it." "That's the end." "Why did you make me look?" "Until I found out that she was dead, she was alive to me." "She would be alive to me now." "Oh, Karen." "The mother has agreed to let you see her." "Saturday afternoon." "Now they've asked me to remind you... that you have no legal claim over the baby." "Now legally Elizabeth was not your child... and so you have no claim over her children." "Also, a good faith effort was made... to publish the news of Elizabeth's death, and to look for her relatives." "What kind of effort?" "In local newspapers and on the county web page." "Nobody came forward." "Oh." "Will the child know who I am?" "That's up to the mother." "Will I be allowed to visit her again, after this time?" "I don't know." "She's not obligated to." "Don't think about that, Karen." "You'll meet her, you'll see how it goes." "This is the address." "And the little girl's name is Ella." "Oh." "Can you say bye-bye to Karen?" "Can you say bye-bye?" " Bye-bye." " Bye-bye." "Oh, kisses." "You okay?" "Really?" "She has my mother's eyes." "That a good thing, or?" "Yes." "Thank you." "I never saw you... with a new haircut... with new shoes." "When was your first period?" "Was someone there to help?" "Did anyone explain?" "Did you hear the rain one night when I heard it?" "What gave you comfort?" "I've missed it all, and I've accepted it." "But today I met Ella." "Her little face is like a bird... that flies high over 38 years... that have gone on and on and on... like a horrible parade." "But now it's past." "Only Ella remains, God bless her." "Ella is peace."