"[siren wailing] [heart monitor beeping]" "[sighs]" "Officer, morning." "I need to change this patient's catheter." "Maybe you'd like to give us some privacy." "Isn't that a nurse's job?" "Uh, yeah, but, uh... never around when you need one, right?" "Well, the guy's in a coma." "Not like he cares." "I guess I could get a coffee." "[clears throat]" "I'll be right back." "Thank you." "You were in my home." "That is not gonna happen again." "You wanted to talk." "Now's your chance." " Charlie." " [inhales sharply]" " Hey." " What brings you up here?" "Uh, uh, I was supposed to meet, um, Dr. Hart." "I guess he's running late." " Right." " [sighs]" "So, what was up with you last night?" " You didn't come to bed." " Mnh." "I just got a lot on my mind." "Can I help?" "No." "No, it's nothing I can't handle." "Dr. Singh:" "We need to fill the position as soon as possible." "When we contacted Dr. Katz, she recommended you very highly." "How is Sydney?" "Hard to say." "Not really one for small talk, is she?" "No, she isn't. [chuckles]" "So, what do you think, Dr. Lin?" "You want to come to Cleveland?" "I'm really flattered to be headhunted." "We call it surgical recruiting." "Right." "But it's a lot to think about." "Um, may I take the day to decide?" "Of course." "But we do need to present our candidate to the board tomorrow." "Bye for now." "I look forward to hearing your answer." "Me too." "[sighs]" "So, give me all the dirt." "What's been going on?" "Massive debt, tons of responsibility, no authority." "I'm basically a glorified temp." "Well, aren't you just a ray of sunshine?" "We have to get staff jobs, Alex." "I know." "Problem is, there aren't any." "Let me ask you..." "If a good job came up out of town, would you take it?" "I don't know." "Charlie's here." "We've got the condo, a great nanny, but for you, Mags, it might be everything you're looking for." "[pager vibrates]" "Dawn wants to see me." "Mm." "Dawn hasn't wanted to see me since you've been gone." "Consider yourself lucky." "[sighs] [up-tempo music playing]" "♪ so sorry ♪ [knock on wall]" "Good morning, Alex." "Come in." "Yeah." "You wanted to see me?" "Yes." "I have a welcome-back surprise for you, and I think you're gonna like it." "You seem..." "I seem...?" "I don't know." "Happy, I guess." "Well, thank you for calling attention to it and making me feel self-conscious." "And you're back." "Dr. Clara Levine... you know her?" "Absolutely." "She's gen-surg royalty." "Well, she needs someone to assist her in the O.R. today." "And?" "And she's bringing her patient down to the O.R. now." "Clara does not like to wait." "Great." "Then I'd better get going." " Oh, and Dawn?" " Hmm?" "Those were some pretty sweet moves." "[music continues]" "Dr. Levine, good to see you." "Alex." "Glad you could join me." "The patient is a 37-year-old veterinarian kicked by a horse." "And if it makes you feel any better, sometimes humans kick their doctors, too." "Ugh." "Not with 2,000 pounds of force." "Oh, don't worry." "We'll have you right as rain in no time." "The, uh, imaging shows the kick lacerated her spleen." "That'll have to come out." "I wanted to thank you for the opportunity to assist." "You are an inspiration." "Oh, damn it." "I left my phone in the E.R." "You start prepping, and I will be right back." "You bet." "[telephone ringing]" "Dean:" "Seventh time's the charm, eh, Dr. Harris?" "Well, it definitely looks like it's healing, but only you know how it feels, Dean." "Well, it feels good having seven surgeries behind me and only... well, maybe one to go." "[sighs] Yeah." "Six months ago, this leg was roadkill." "Even I had my doubts we'd save it." "Um, you keeping up with the physio?" "Best as I can, but I got to spend time at the shop." "The place is in even worse shape than I am." "If you want something done right..." "You do it yourself." "Exactly." "So, what now, Dr. Harris?" "We schedule another surgery?" "Um [sighs] I want to see how that damaged nerve is doing, so let's get you up." "[grunts] Thanks." "[groaning lightly] [clears throat] With the brace, I get around pretty good." "Yeah." "Dr. Hamza is gonna do a conduction study, see if that nerve is regenerating." "Hopefully we'll see an improvement this time." "You will." "Trust me." "[breathes deeply]" "Uh, Dean, I noticed, um, you made an early renewal request for your pain meds." "How are you coping these days?" "Oh, just fine." "Yeah?" "Uh..." "Charlie, I should never have come to your house." "I get that." "You okay there, doc?" "Um, yeah." "I know I was out of line, okay?" "But uh-uh..." " Look, come on." " Don't ignore me, all right?" "Y-you're all I've got." "[door closes] You were in my home." "I wanted to talk." "I didn't mean to freak you out." "I'm not the bad guy you think I am." "You're a convicted murderer, Mr. Crenshaw." "You're the very definition of a bad guy." "Look, you don't need to like me, but I am in a situation here, and I need your help." "[hand tapping]" "You're in a coma." "Trust me..." "there's nothing more I'd like than to help you get out of this hospital." "So, if I can do that, I will." "But we communicate on my terms." "And rule number one is, you stay away from my family." "Do you understand?" " But..." " I said, do you understand?" "[siren wailing] [heart monitor beeping] [sighs] [telephone rings]" "Rough night?" "Hey." "No." "It was a great night..." "Just a bit of a late one." "Mm." "Also, I deserve a break." "I just dealt with a kid's birthday party gone horribly wrong." "Molten cheese burns and puncture wounds from pointy forks." "Ohh." "Fondue and 5-year-olds don't mix is the obvious lesson here." "Yep." "Well, that and get out of the E.R. while you can." "Yeah." "Not until I put a dent in my student loan or a good staff job comes along." "Well, when it does, run for the hills." "I mean, I like it here." "And I have my friends and..." "Places are just concrete and steel, and friends get over each other faster than you think." " Hmm." " You know, they did a study, a study on the average time it takes to be forgotten in the workplace." "Guess how long." "I..." " 2 1/2 days." " Oh." "That's kind of sobering, isn't it, that no one misses anyone, not for long." "Right." "Good to know. [sighs]" "One of you got a sec?" "Yeah." "[siren wailing] [radio chatter]" " What happened to her?" " Didn't even get a name." "Okay." "Hi." "I'm Dr. Lin." "I see you have a cut on your head there, Ms...?" "Uh, I'm actually fine." "I was just about to go." "I think you should stay here." "Um, can you tell me what happened?" "It's just I've-I've, uh, lost my purse, but I'll-I'll come back after I've found it." "Oh, we can have someone find it for you." "Do you know where you saw it last?" "I fell down in the street on my way." "Um, I think it's probably just outside." " Somebody could steal it." "I should go..." " Hold on." "Hold on." "I really..." "I don't have time for this." "Just... just let me clean up the cut." "Please?" "Come with me." " [exhales sharply]" " It's okay." "You just had a baby, didn't you?" "Yes." "Luke. 11 months." "Do you have kids?" "No, no kids for me." "[water running] It was all work." "[water turns off]" "Besides, in those days, if you stepped away, they would never let you back in again." "Ah, Dr. Curtis." "Do you two know each other?" "We met yesterday." "Several times, in fact." "Good to see you again, Dr. Reid." "I have heard wonderful things about this young man." "I've invited him to observe." "If you don't mind, Dr. Reid." "Not at all." "I've finished scrubbing." "You can take my place." "[water running] [electricity crackles] Dean: [grunts]" "Almost done, Mr. Powell. [computer beeps]" "Not too uncomfortable, I hope?" "Mnh." "Barely feel it." "Having your leg crushed by a forklift must really make pain relative." "Yeah. [electricity crackles]" "Interesting fact... a major pain receptor in the lower leg is called the saphenous nerve, derived from the arabic word "safin,"" "meaning hidden or concealed, but that's actually in reference to the saphenous vein, which was kind of hidden, at least if you were practicing medicine in the middle ages." "[laughs] [computer beeps]" "Almost done, Mr. Powell." "Well, look who I found just wandering the halls." "Hey, Danielle." "Dr. Hamza's just about finished electrocuting me." " Okay." " [computer beeps]" "All finished, Dr. Harris." "Uh, why don't you two go grab some lunch, and we'll have the results when you get back?" "Thank you, doctors." "Thank you." " How'd it go?" " [sighs]" "Zero improvement in the peroneal nerve." "So, the motor nerve is not functioning, while the sensory nerve is causing him much agony." "It's ironic when you think about it." "He keeps telling me pain isn't a problem." "Well, he's become very good at masking it." "And he wants another surgery." "Okay, I know how much time you've spent with him, Charlie, but that leg is never gonna function properly." "And in my opinion, the pain is never gonna go away." "Then he'll likely end up self-medicating to manage it." "If he isn't already." "Charlie, I think it's time you re-opened the subject of amputation." "[monitors beeping]" "You're married to Charlie Harris, right?" "Not married but together." "Ah." "Charlie's a great surgeon." "And according to, uh, Dawn, so are you." "She said that?" "I trained Dawn when she was a resident." "Such a nervous little thing." "She used to follow me around like a puppy." "I'm sure we'd all love to hear some young Dawn bell stories." "Ah, one day I'll tell you the story of how she accidentally sewed her finger onto a cadaver." "[light laughter]" "Okay." "Suction." "[suction whirring]" "I think that's got it." "We're ready to remove the bag." "Dr. Reid?" "Looks good to me." "Hang tight there, Dr. Curtis." "You'll get your turn in a moment." "It never gets old, bossing handsome young men around." "[chuckles]" "Maggie:" " Where are you from, Natalie?" " Uh, I live here." " I was at the hotel, um..." " Thank you." "Just taking a little break." "A break from what?" "You said this was only gonna be, um, a minute." " Can you get off me?" "Wh-wh-why..." "why are you doing that?" " We're just-just..." "Okay, we're just drawing some blood for a tox screen." " It's okay." " No, I'm not..." "I'm not on drugs, okay?" " Okay." "Just a pinch." " Ow." " Easy." "Easy, now." " Okay." "Just hold your arm still for me." " We're almost done." " [exhales sharply]" "Okay, no, I've, uh..." "I've been here long enough." "No." "Don't go yet." "I just want you to wait for the test results." "Just 10 more minutes, okay?" "Natalie!" "No!" "Natalie, calm down." "Somebody call security." "Zach:" " Okay." "Whoa." " Natalie!" " I got her." "I got her." " Don't make me wait for the tox screen, and don't make me form you up to psych." "Just tell me what you're withdrawing from so I can help you." "Okay, shh, shh, shh, shh." "[gasps]" "I know it's the future but video games surgery really takes the fun out of diving into an open cavity." "Okay, I think we're about done here." "Clips." "Towel. [inhales sharply]" "And, uh, can we lower the temperature a little more, please?" "Dr. Levine, should we consider closing the vessels with suture ligature?" "Those clips alone may let go and cause her to hemorrhage." "I don't see any danger of hemorrhaging." "If I start suturing every vessel with these chopsticks, we're gonna be here all night." "But based on my experience, we may have more certainty" " with suture ligature." " Based on your experience?" "Listen, I don't mean to be out of line here." "Well, as long as you don't mean to be out of line." "Dr. Sharpe, how's her B.P.?" "She's steady, Dr. Levine." "Since we're almost done here, how about we let Patrick step in for a moment?" "I'd really like him to have a chance to assist." "Yes." "Of course." "[monitors beeping]" "Natalie:" "Uh, I'm sorry." "I don't know what came over me before, but this, uh... this isn't necessary." "Okay, hold your hands out for me, please." "[sighs]" "Can you tell me how long it's been since your last drink of alcohol?" "Oh, no, this-this... it's, um, just that I'm anxious." "Are you moderately anxious, or are you..." "I'm very, very anxious because I'm stuck here talking to idiots, and every second I get more anxious," " and I'm about to start screaming." " Okay." "Get that out of my eyes!" "Oh, my god!" "[sighs]" "How many drinks do you have a day, Natalie?" "If I finish your test, will you leave me alone?" "A few at the end of the day, a couple at lunch if I'm stressed." "Are you stressed a lot?" "Yes." "I work in advertising." "It's a very stressful job." "Okay, so, 4 or 5 a day, maybe 35 a week?" "Uh, that sounds like a lot." "But I know that I should cut back." "Were you in the hotel trying to detox from alcohol?" "Yes." "But I'm not an alcoholic." "What about drugs?" "Are you on anything?" "I already told you." "I don't do drugs." "Okay, just stopping like that could do you serious harm if your body's become dependent on alcohol." "You're right." "I was, uh, going about this wrong." "The timing is all wrong." "No, that's not what I'm saying." "I have so much going on right now, and at work, they already treat me like I'm..." "The thing is, I have already taken a few days leave." "So, uh, I really should get back..." "Natalie, you clearly wanted to make a change." "I can help you do that." "Just let me give you something for your anxiety so you can detox under medical supervision." "I-I told you." "I am truly sorry about before, but that sounds extreme." "I think you need help, right here and right now." "Fine." "Um, I will take the meds just to calm me down, and then we'll see." "Okay." "Maddie, can I get the I.V.?" "[sighs] [monitors beeping]" "Dr. Levin, they're ready in O.R. 7." "Tell them I'm en route." "Patrick, join me after you've finished suturing those port sites." "You want me to..." "Mm." "Yes, of course." "Thank you for the opportunity." "Well, this is awkward." "Did I just get cut from the team?" "I'm not even sure you're still in the league." "Thanks for the backup, by the way." "In order to back you up," "I'd have to have supported your point of view." "We were looking at the same monitor." "You really feel confident that those clips are gonna hold?" "I believe Clara Levine was performing splenectomies before we were born." "Not laparoscopically, she wasn't." "Not to mention, you get on her bad side, you might as well toss your career in the bin." "Now let's be extra careful with these port sites." "Patient's not herniating on my watch." "Since when did it become your watch?" "When you told Levine she was sloppy." " I didn't say that." " Yes, you did." "No." "I was recommending caution." "Seniority doesn't make her immune to mistakes." "So, keep your mouth shut and check on the patient later." " There's a hierarchy." " I know that, Patrick." "Besides, she's been booking solid O.R. days all month." "You're two days back from mat leave." "You ask me..." " I didn't." " But I'm gonna tell you anyway, Alex." "You should apologize." "The peroneal nerve suffered too much damage." "After six months, we need to accept the fact that it's not going to recover." "Dean, you'll never have proper mobility in that leg." "It'll get there, Dr. Harris." "I'll fight harder." "I'll do the physio." "[sighs]" "Well... given the pain you're in," "I'm not sure that fighting is the right play anymore." "I already told you, I'm not suffering." "Dean, come on." "Okay." "I have some good days, I have some bad days, just like anybody else." "[sighs]" "What exactly are you saying, Dr. Harris?" "I'm saying that we at least need to have a conversation about the pros and cons of keeping the leg versus the pros and cons of amputation." "You got to be kidding me." "Just hear him out, Dean." "Look, I told you after the accident that that was not an option." "What is it?" "Are you just too lazy to stick this out?" "[inhales sharply]" "I did the surgeries because I thought that was your best option." "I don't think that anymore." "If you won't save my leg, I'll find someone who will." "I want a new surgeon." "[monitors beeping]" "Alex?" "Shouldn't you be in the O.R. with Dr. Levine?" "I'm just following up with this patient between surgeries." "How are things going with Clara so far?" "She's great." "It's great." "I'm a little concerned about this patient." "Her B.P. shouldn't be so low, and her heart rate's high." "Was there a problem with the surgery?" "No." "There may be a complication." "You know what?" "I will follow up with Dr. Levine." "Pay close attention." "She's had a great career." "This could be a good opportunity for you." "[sighs] [elevator bell dings]" "[indistinct speaking over P.A.]" "About your patient..." "I heard you two talking." "[exhales slowly]" "I'm in an elevator, so I may lose you." "You spying on me now?" "It's not like that. [stammers]" "I thought maybe I could help you out." "I don't need your help." "I can watch him without him knowing, figure out what he's really afraid of." "I'm pretty sure he's afraid of, uh, losing his leg, Tom." "[elevator bell dings] Sure." "But maybe there's more to it than that." "I mean, I got nothing but time here." "Let me help you." "Well, you could start by, um..." "Not creeping on me like a giant tangerine." "Just don't tell me to go to hell again." "I'm serving life in prison." "I've already made that trip." "Really want to help?" "Change my patient's mind." "[elevator bell dings]" "Zach." "Hey." "Are you sending her up to psych?" "I think she should stay here." "She could go into serious withdrawal." "She says she has 35 drinks a week." " 35?" " Mm-hmm." "So, you double that, you're looking at 70." "[whistles] She's like a one-woman frat house." "Yeah." "I'm gonna find her a bed in detox." "I don't want her leaving." "If she's as bad as I think, the withdrawal could kill her." "Okay, admit her. [groaning]" "She's seizing." "[heart monitor beeping rapidly]" "Okay." "Protect her airway." " Okay." " Grab that arm." " Keep her from pulling out that I.V." " Let's get some high-flow O2 in here!" "Okay, protect her airway." "Let's move this bed!" "[gasping]" "Natalie you had a seizure, okay?" " But we've got you." " ***" " Just hold her down." " Okay, where's that tox screen?" " I'll get it." "Natalie:" " Oh, my god!" "Oh, my god!" " Oh, my god!" " What is it, Natalie?" "What is it, Natalie?" " Don't you see?" "!" " 10 milligrams of diazepam." " How much have you given her already?" " Plenty." "She said she didn't, but she must have a pill addiction" " as well as the alcohol." " Yeah, but if you give her too much diazepam, you know that you risk compromising her breathing, right?" "Okay, so we vent her, but we can't have her seizing again or hurting herself." " Do it." " Tox screens." " You need to see this." " Okay." "Take this." "Watch her head." "Watch her head." "Hold her down." "Yep, high level of benzodiazepines already in her system. 20 milligrams." "I'm gonna push her past her tolerance, get her stable, and take her up to detox." " Here we go." "Here we go." " Almost there." "Okay." "You're okay." "You're okay." " [crying]" " Shh, shh." "It's okay." "[sobbing] Please get me out of here." "I can't be here anymore." "We're gonna get you better, okay?" "We're gonna get you better." " Dr. Levine?" " Hmm?" "I just wanted to say that I shouldn't have questioned you that way in the O.R." "That's fine." "How's our animal doctor doing?" "That's actually why I'm here." "Her B.P. is dropping." "She's reacting to the epidural." "Have anesthesia turn that down." "Okay." "That's a possibility." "But I think we need to be certain." "Why are you doing this?" "I would never have questioned a senior surgeon when I was coming up." "Honestly, I'm just worried about the well-being of our patient." "Give her some fluids." "Tell me how she's doing at the end of the day." "Unless you'd like to micromanage that decision, as well?" "No." "I wouldn't." "[pen scratching] [telephone ringing]" "He's keeping his pain a secret from her out of pride." "I watched him." "The moment she left the room, he broke down." "When Amy killed herself, I was a mess." "But still, I was proud." "I..." "I wouldn't let anyone see me like that." "I..." "I didn't want to look weak." "Instead, it made me look guilty." "It... it ruined my life... just like your guy's ruining his." "[folder closes]" "Mm-hmm." "Okay." "Thanks." "[receiver clicks]" "Well, I got her full name..." "Natalie Dryden." "Tried to get in touch with family, but no luck." "Husband left a year ago with their daughter." "Both parents and a sister... all dead." "So, no one to stop her from drinking herself to death." "No friends or coworkers?" "I tried calling her work, made up a story about finding her purse." "They said she'd been fired weeks ago." "Hmm." "Listen [clears throat] the question you asked me earlier about going to another hospital, that wasn't hypothetical," " was it?" " No." "Where?" "Cleveland." "Gynecological staff position." "Well, if you don't take it, I will." "I don't know what to do." "[sighs]" "Look, I can't speak for everyone here, Maggie Lin, but I'll tell you right now that if you go..." "I'll miss the hell out of you." "I'm serious." "Thank you." "[monitors beeping]" "May I have her chart, please?" "Thank you." "Hello, Cynthia." "I've never been kicked before." "I walked into that stable." "[breathes deeply]" "It was like that horse knew I was coming." "You think the horse knew you were there to euthanize him?" "I don't have any other explanation." "Even through the pain, he was scared." "I know the feeling." "Try to relax, okay?" "Thank you." "You're welcome." "[breathing heavily]" "[monitor beeping rapidly]" "Page Dr. Levine and book an O.R." "and cross and type this patient for four units." "I need her back on a table right now." "Let's go!" "Alex:" "Hey!" "Any sign of her?" "No, but operating on Levine's patient is a risky move, Alex." "Doing nothing is a bigger risk, and I need you with me." "I can't do it alone." "Ah, so, this is to be a career murder/suicide, then, is it?" "Wonderful." " Whoa!" "Whoa!" " Hey." " Back it up, will you?" " Back... back up the bed!" "[gasps]" "Her chest tube's been dislodged." "Okay, we got to move." "Better?" "Are you thirsty?" "Um, when can you release me?" "I need to get back to work." "Don't think about work right now." "It's so embarrassing." "I'm not like this." "This isn't me." "I believe that." "Okay, I'm gonna let you rest." "You can stay the night, and then tomorrow we can talk about the next steps." "The next steps?" "Don't be afraid." "You're gonna do much better here with us than you would all alone in some hotel room." "Um, maybe there's, uh, no point to this." "Natalie, I don't know when you decided you weren't worth anything... but you are." "You're the point to this." "[sighs deeply] Okay." "New tube's draining well." "One less thing to worry about." "Great." " You are unbelievable." " [chuckling] Sorry?" "Intracorporeal suturing kind of gives me the collywobbles." "What?" "That is to say, it-it makes me nervous." "Who's to say I'm not nervous?" "Well, you don't suture like you're nervous." "How's her B.P., Dr. Sharpe?" "Still low and getting lower." "How is that possible?" "I sutured all the vessels of the splenic bed, but it's still coming proximal to that." "Maybe a branch of the splenic artery?" "Or is it possible something else was ruptured by the kick?" "Would have showed up in the imaging." "Something happened in the first surgery." "I was watching." "Suction." "But when we switched places, neither of us were." "So, you think..." "Perhaps she nicked something." "[sighs] The tail of the pancreas." "And that could have opened the splenic artery." "[sighs]" "We're gonna have to open her up." "Listen, you could find a doctor to perform 20 operations on that leg, and it wouldn't change a thing." "Dean:" "Well, there's only one way to find out." "[sighs]" "I know you want to fight for this." "And I would, too." "But, uh, you have to ask yourself, are you fighting for the right thing?" "Do you want a leg, or do you want a life?" "We got five kids." "I've always taken care of my family." "I'm not about to become their problem." "The pain that you're going through is gonna become a bigger problem for them than any amputation could." "Maybe it already is." "He's right, Dean." "What, are you taking his side now?" "I'm not taking anybody's side." "You're a mess." "You're angry all the time." "I won't have you care for a cripple." "You have to stop using that word." "Listen, I know this sounds crazy, but maybe losing that leg is the one thing that's gonna make you feel normal again." "[sighs]" "I'm having a hard time imagining how my life would even work." "Yeah, you trust the people that love you." "That's how it'll work." "This isn't the 1950s." "I mean, the prosthetics we're using now..." "I mean..." "people are climbing mountains with them." "They're... [sighs]" "Don't think of this as giving up." "Think of it as getting rid of the one thing that's holding you back." "[monitor beeps]" "Dr. Lin." "What's up?" "Apart from me not having any surgeries lately." "I went to take a blanket for Natalie Dryden." "She's not in her bed." "We've got a missing patient... female, 30s, lacerations on her head." "[monitors beeping]" "Come on." "There it is... splenic artery." " Whatever you're doing, do it fast." " You suture." "Mm-hmm." "Dr. Reid, what the hell are you doing with my patient?" "I tried to find you." "She was bottoming out." "Well, you should have tried harder." " Dr. Levine..." " And you, Dr. Curtis..." "I should have thought you would have known better." "B.P.'S in a nosedive, Alex." "We don't have time to talk right now, but I will explain it to you later." "You're a junior surgeon who thinks she knows everything." "What do you have to explain to me?" "My patient is..." "Dr. Levine," "Dr. Reid is saving this patient." "Whatever you've got to say, you can say it outside of this O.R." "Let's get back to work." "Natalie, what are you doing?" "I, uh, have to find my purse." "I have to get back to work." "You're in no shape to leave." "You could have died today." "Dr. Lin, I thank you for everything that you tried to do for me." "I really do." "You're almost through the worst." "If you leave now, you have to start over." " Where are you gonna go?" " I'll-I'll come back." "I will." "Today... this is just..." "this is a bad day for me." "Natalie." "I'm not on leave from work." "They fired me." "I know." "And my family... they're gone, too." "I know." "So, it's just you and me and a problem we can solve." "You don't know why they're gone." "I can't even, um, say it out loud." "I... even if I fix myself, I can't ever fix that." "That is all in the past now." "I just..." "I thought that if I could push myself, if I could just try to be something, but..." "I did, and now I'm this, and I'm stuck, and I don't know anymore if I can't break free or if I just don't want to." " Okay." " [sighs]" "I can get you long-term treatment for your alcoholism." "[sighs, gasps]" "This may be your last chance." "Don't you want to take that?" "No. [whimpers] [siren wailing]" "[sighs]" "You were right about Dean." "He agreed to the amputation." "That's good." "I'm glad to hear it." "I'm gonna ask to have your wife's X-rays sent from her family doctor, but, um, before I do that, I'd like to hear your story." "My story is I didn't kill my wife." "But it's my fault she's gone." "You said that, uh, she tried to hang herself two years before she died." "I didn't tell anyone." "She begged me not to." "You're only as sick as your secrets." "Isn't that what they say?" "Well, I kept hers." "And now she's gone, and I'm... here... a prisoner." "The medical examiner said he found evidence of a broken hyoid bone in her throat, said it was consistent with patterns of abuse, not patterns of suicide attempts." "I told you about the medical examiner." "Yeah, you said that some of his cases have been overturned." "A couple of them so far." "Did you kill your wife?" "No." "I didn't." "I loved her." "Thanks for listening, Charlie." "Alex:" "Okay, I don't see any more blood." "Looks like we can close." "She's stable." "Wayne..." "Thank you for what you said." "Never yelled at a surgeon before." " I think I liked it." " [both chuckle]" "Well, I hope you never do it to me." "Will you close Patrick?" "Mm-hmm." "[monitors beeping]" "I'm going to explain to Dawn, but don't worry." "Whatever happens, I'll make sure it only happens to me." "Easy, Spartacus." "I've got your back." "Thank you." "Alex did you operate on Dr. Levine's patient without her knowledge?" "Yes, I did." "I tried to reach you." "And when she couldn't, she snuck the patient into the O.R." "I heard about the chest tube." "You are lucky she didn't have a collapsed lung." "Alex, you should have told me about this." " [knock on door]" " Not now." "Dr. Curtis asked me to deliver this." "He said it was urgent." "Believe it or not, I was trying to protect you from the consequences." "Clara:" "The only person facing consequences here is you." "Clara..." "You need to look at that." "How's the patient doing?" "She's okay." "Good." "The splenic artery?" "Yes." "[sighs]" "How did I miss that?" "It could have happened to anyone." "Not to me." "Five years ago, this never would have happened." "Could you excuse us, please?" "Yes." "Of course." "[sighs]" "Clara, you've had a bad run." "Mm." "I know." "And it's gone on long enough." "I need to walk away." "I've been afraid to." "I've..." "I've been afraid of the nothing that is waiting for me." "Clara..." "Please." "It's time." "♪ we try to take off on time ♪" "♪ because we care ♪" "♪ the animals were awfully kind ♪" "♪ to lead us there ♪" "Hey." "Someone found this." "♪ they felt us near ♪" "Put it in lost and found." "She won't be back." "Okay." "♪ the way was clear ♪" "♪ even when you think you know ♪" "♪ where you belong ♪" "♪ how can you expect to grow ♪" "♪ when you stay home?" "♪" "♪ your feet are gold ♪" "♪ get off the road ♪" "♪ we saw a cloud of gray smoke ♪" "♪ rising from your yard ♪" "Hey." "I need you to get a cake." "♪ the world has got the strangest ways ♪" "From Benaroia's, not that grocery-store garbage." "♪ to work things out ♪" "♪ and our hearts will never be the same ♪" "♪ I wonder why I came ♪" "♪ but I did ♪" "♪ and the things we thought we'd never see ♪" "♪ we look up to the trees while they speak ♪" "♪ I'm right where you are ♪" "♪ I don't need much more for now ♪ [speaking indistinctly] There you go." "[indistinct conversations]" "Your limbs seem to be in one place." "[chuckles]" "Dawn didn't draw and quarter you." "Thanks to you, Dr. Curtis." "Levine is retiring." "Or Dawn has decided to retire her." "Don't tell anybody about this morning, okay?" " Mum's the word." " Thank you." "Oh, Dr. Hamza [chuckling] I will miss you... and our chess games." "Don't know why." "You always lost." "[chuckles] Okay, I guess it's not the chess games I'll miss." "It's you." "Ah, well, I will miss you, too." "[chuckles]" "Will you be visiting us soon?" "Probably not." "Mm." "Dr. Levine." "Dr. Hamza, can I talk to you for just one second?" "Mm-hmm." "I just wanted to wish you the very best for your retirement." "Oh." "I'm sorry." "You are...?" " Maggie Lin." " Maggie." "Yes, of course." "Thank you." "Um, I think I'll take off now, before somebody tries to make a speech." "[chuckles]" "Dr. Levine..." "Don't say anything." "I think after four decades here," "I've earned the right to the last word." "It's a very different world from when I was starting out." "The snickering and the accidental gropings and the second-guessings of your work, although I think in that department, we've come full circle." "Listen, I-I didn't mean to go behind your back." "I am truly sorry." "No." "Don't be." "That's my point." "It is easier for you." "But you still have to prove yourself more than any male surgeon." "Every day you come to work, you have to be perfect." "I hope you're up for that." "I hope so, too." "Dr. Singh, it's Maggie Lin." "I've thought about your offer, and I would love to take the job." "Call me." "Thanks." "[knock on wall]" "Have you come to gawk at my patient again?" "No, actually." "I came to talk to you." "How was your day?" "Mm." "Long, strange, stressful." "You?" "You know, same old, same old." "You know, we're together now, the three of us." "That means we share the good stuff and the bad." "I know." "It... it really is nothing." "No, Charlie..." "Is it a ghost thing?" "Yeah." "I guess I'm kind of still getting used to talking about that." "Well, so am I." "And sometimes it can be a..." "I don't want you to worry." "I won't." "[sighs]" "Okay." "Well, the evidence might not prove you're innocent, but it definitely doesn't prove you're guilty, either." "You don't know how long I've waited to hear somebody say that. [sighs]" "If I'm gonna help you, it's still on my terms." "You got it." "No promises." "Understood." "But if everything I'm seeing is right..." "You might have a good shot at an appeal."