"[engine fires up]" "¶ On an outer space adventure" "¶ They got hit by cosmic rays" "¶ And the four were changed forever" "¶ In some most fantastic ways" "¶ No need to fear, they're here" "¶ Just call the Four" "¶ Fantastic Four" " ¶ Don't need no more - ¶ That's ungrammatical" "¶ Reed Richards is elastic" "¶ Sue can fade from sight" "¶ Johnny is the Human Torch" "¶ The Thing just loves to fight" "¶ Call the Four" "¶ Fantastic Four [woman] And Paris thrills to this gala parade of new fashion representing the avant garde of style." " [violent rumbling]" " It's a quake!" "Oh, my God!" "[crowd screams and shouts]" " [low rumbling] - [man] Oh, dear!" "We came all the way from California to be in another earthquake?" "Oh, dear!" "Oh, my!" "[male announcer] Now a word from His Royal Highness Prince Charles." "First and foremost, I would like to summarily dispel the ugly rumor that I have in any way become involved with Roseanne Barr, and that...  [woman] Run for it, Charlie." "It's a monster!" "[roars]" "[high-pitched flute] [roars]" "Oh, crumbs!" "[Sue] Reed, we'll be late for the dance." "Hmm?" "Oh, that's wonderful, sweetheart." "Ben and Alicia are waiting and Johnny will be here with Melinda any second." "[elastic stretching]" "Reed!" "Sorry." "It's just that I've been triangulating the source of those strange landmark sinkings." "And if I'm right, New York City could be the next target." "[Alicia] Oh, Ben, you're so light on your feet." "[chuckles] Yeah, just call me twinkle toes." "Hey, hoofin' is thirsty work." "You like something cold to drink?" "That'd be lovely." "[banging and rattling]" "Here, choose your beverage, baby." "Oh, Ben, you're so gallant." "Good evening, Ben, Alicia, I understand Johnny is bringing Melinda." " [Alicia] Yes, so I hear." " [Reed] That's nice." "Who is she?" " Our landlady's niece." " Your putting me on." "[Ben] Just because Miss Forbes is a pill don't mean the kid's a lemon." "Besides, the little hotfoot's crazy about her." "Let me put a chill on that, Alicia." "Warm soda tastes like garbage." "Just the sort of tasteless vulgarity I'd expect from you, Mr. Grimm." "Quick, tell Dorothy and Toto to hide." "It's the Wicked Witch of the West." "When Melinda told me who her escort was to be," "I didn't know whether to accompany her as a chaperone or throw up." " You look like you did both." " Stay close to me, child." "If you're not alert, he'll flame up and raise your temperature." "[traffic noise] [big band jazz]" "[Ben] Hey, Forbesy, don't be a wallflower." "Come on, let's cut us some carpet." "Oh!" "Oh!" "Put me down!" "People are staring!" "Well, then let's give them something to stare at." "Good grief!" "[Ben] Relax, babe, we're a smash." "Cool, huh?" "I mean, the lights of the city stretched out all around, great music and..." "and, and you in my arms." "It's very nice, in an unsophisticated way." "Dancing on the Champs Elysées in Paris is much more romantic." "Er, yeah, right, the Champs Alisa, that's my favorite hang-out." "And now, folks, a surprise treat." "The Human Torch himself, Johnny Storm, performing his own song!" "¶ Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh" "¶ Uh, uh, uh" "¶ This is for you, Melinda Uh, uh, uh" "¶ I hope you like it" "¶ Uh, uh, uh, yeah" "¶ Uh, uh, uh" "¶ They oughta teach this in school" "¶ It's not always cool to be cool" "¶ You tried to play me for a fool" "¶ Like you see a girl who's unique" "¶ It's a dream 'cause she's sweet" "¶ And she really seems to knock you off your feet" "¶ You wanna say hey but you don't You don't" "¶ Your mom says tell her how you feel, but you won't" "¶ 'Cause you're just too cool to tell her truly" "¶ That your feelings are getting unruly Don't try to school me" "¶ So she passes you by in the hallway" "¶ You're staring at the wall trying to play" "¶ While I say, man, you're cool" "¶ Really cool, slick, just like ice" "¶ But you didn't realize You never get this chance twice" "¶ So you're busy playing cool now she's gone" "¶ Gone onto another while I sing my funky song" "¶ I never passed up a chance I know this story seems long" "¶ But when I know the time is right for me and you, I just" "¶ Flame on Flame on" "¶ And on, and on, and on Flame on, yeah" "¶ Yeah, flame on And on, and on, and on, and on" "¶ Flame on I just flame on..." "[Reed] Keep calm, everyone." "Don't panic." "Flame on!" "Whhh..." "What's happening?" "[Reed] We're sinking into the center of the earth!" "[horns blaring] [whistling sound of falling]" "[gasps and shouts]" "Wow, we're miles beneath the surface of the earth, Sue." "In some bizarre series of caverns." "Yes, but how?" "And why?" "I don't know, but it's clearly tied to the disappearance of those other landmarks." "The building seems to have stabilized." "Everyone must maintain your composure and remain here while my colleagues and I address this predicament." "He means hang loose, we're working on it." "Sheesh, can't you ever talk plain English?" "I want to go home, Aunt Lavinia." "So do I." "If you'd gone out with Leland Armbruster as I wanted you to, we wouldn't be in this ghastly pickle." "But Leland Armbruster is a dork." "Better a rich dork than an inflammable weirdo." "Alicia, I'm leaving you in charge." "Try to keep them calm." "[band leader] One, two, one, two, three, four... ¶ Oh, Susanna, don't you cry for me" "[Reed] The explanation to all this lies somewhere out there." "[Ben] Hey, wait for me, will you?" "Melinda?" "I'm afraid to stay with Aunt Lavinia and the others." "I want to come with you." "[Reed] We've got to get started." " Coming, Reed." "Hang on." " [Melinda] Ahh!" " Did you have to do that?" " Heck, yeah." "Now, come on." "[bats squeaking]" " [bat squeaks]" " Oh, Johnny!" "Melinda!" "Johnny, I specifically requested..." "I'm sure she'll be no trouble." "And we've no time to take her back." "Oh, with your yadda, yadda, yadda." "Let's get going already." "We get hassled underwater by Prince Namor, bugged in ancient Greece by Doctor Doom, and now we're stranded in a cockamamie cavern!" "Gee, just once I'd like a problem that took us to Vegas." "Reed, what can be causing this strange light so far under the earth?" "Phosphorescent minerals in the cavern walls." "But they're gaining their intensity from some incredibly powerful energy source." "Almost like an underground sun." "[Ben] Oh, great, now that you've explained it, we're still up the creek without a paddle." "I think it would be best if we split up here." "We can use our communicators to keep in touch." "Johnny, you and Melinda, with me." "Sue, you and Ben try that tunnel." "This way." "[hissing]" "Gas!" "It could be explosive, Johnny." "You'd better not flame up until we're clear of it." "Ahhh!" "[Johnny] Must flame up, Reed." "[Reed] No!" "Hold tight." "I think I can ride the geo-thermal updrafts." "There." "[Melinda] Oh, it's so dark and it smells bad." "I hate it." "Look, this isn't anybody's idea of Fun City, so shape up, Melinda, we've got a job to do." "Johnny, Melinda, there seems to be a light source up ahead." "[high-pitched humming]" "[Johnny] I... feel dizzy." " What's happening?" " [Reed] Don't look." " [Reed] What on earth?" " [Johnny] Or under it." "[Reed] Unbelievable." "Diamonds as big as boulders." "And we're not alone in this crystal-encrowded kingdom." " [creatures babbling] - [Reed] Look out." "They're some species of belligerent troglodyte." "Bye-bye, baddies!" "I am the Mole Man!" "Supreme ruler of the world within the earth." "All that is here is mine!" "[Reed] Then this is your doing?" "The Arch of Triumph, the pyramid," "Parliament and now Rock Center?" "Ha ha!" "Rock Center is now at the center of this rock." "Ha, ha, ha!" "Ironic, isn't it?" " Crazy's more like it." " Not crazy!" "Brilliant." "By bringing the world's landmarks into my domain," "I have displayed the awesome power with which I will seize control of the surface of the earth as well." "And none will dare stand against me because I have defeated you." "Reed Richards!" "Johnny Storm!" "You and your colleagues, the so-called Fantastic Four." "Then you took Radio City just to get us?" "Of course!" "You are the only surface beings who might have challenged my power." "Reed Richards." "The only scientist who is my equal." "And you have been neutralized!" "We're not quite neutralized yet!" "Flame on!" "[Reed] Watch out for his staff, Johnny." "It's some type of power generator." "He's using it on those stalactites." "The next one will pin her to the floor of the cavern, permanently." " [Reed] No, that won't be necessary." " I knew you'd respond to reason." "Follow me!" "Johnny, make them stop." "Leland Armbruster would sue them." "Reed, can you hear me?" "Something must be wrong." "[splash, squelch]" "Yeuch!" "Icky clay." "It's like walking in glue." " Yeuch." " The clay is alive!" "It's a monster!" "[Ben] All right." "I ain't never clobbered clay before, though." "You did it." "It seems to have returned to wherever it came from." "Yeah, lucky I got it off so easy." "Come on, let's blow this dump." "Ben, look, an underground ocean." "It's incredible!" "[Ben] Sheesh!" "And me without my rubber ducky!" "Holy baloney!" "[Sue] The entire cavern is alive with clay monsters!" "[roars]" "Head for that island." "Water dissolves clay." "They won't be able to follow us." "[Ben] Yeah, for once, we'll do it the easy way." "¶ Way down upon the Swanee River" "Do you hear her everybody?" "Now, come along and sing along, all of you." "¶ Far, far away" "All right!" "Scratch that." "That's quite enough gloom and doom for one evening." "When I was a child, we British came through the Blitz with a song on our lips, and that song was... [starts to sing]" "Remove their protective garments!" " Hey, careful!" " Don't mess my hair, you creep!" "Your initial sensitivity to the mineral brilliance of my kingdom has passed." "It is now safe for you to look upon my wealth without harm." "Why are you doing this, Mole Man?" "We've never harmed you." "You and all who live above these caverns harmed me, Reed Richards!" "And now my masterpiece, an Earth Suction Generator." "I used it to bring down the pyramids," "Parliament and the Rockefeller Center, using only a fraction of its power." "And tomorrow morning, the great cities of the world will sink into my domain!" "And the reign of Mole Man shall begin!" "Oh, don't let him drop me!" "Please, don't!" "Back off, or I flambé the valley girl." "[electric buzzing]" "The only chance we have now is Sue and Ben." "I pray they're all right." "[Ben] Stroke, kick." "Stroke, kick." "Sheesh, what a drag!" "Let's get to the top of the ridge." "Maybe I can get through to Reed from there." "Well, it ain't Coney Island, but at least it ain't clay." "Hey, funny." "It felt like the whole island just kind of twitched." "I felt it too." "And, Ben, Reed's homing signal." "I've locked onto it." "Oh!" "It's twitching again, Susie." "Oh, boy!" "Look, it's a blasted turtle as big as the Bronx!" "Hey, I ain't dinner, honey." "I'm a passenger." "Which way to Reed, Susie?" " There!" " Giddy up, horsie." "Ride 'em, cowboy!" "Yee hah!" "[Mole Man] Once the process has begun, it cannot be reversed." "I leave you now to take my post beneath Washington." "When the White House sinks, I will be there to take control." "Upon my return as all-powerful ruler of the surface world," "I will deal with you and the other two members of the Fantastic Four." "If they've survived my guardian monsters!" "Farewell!" "The Mole Man's Suction Generator is fuelled by power from the earth's core." "Even if we get free, we can't turn it off without splitting the planet in two." "[Melinda] Oh, what's happening?" "I'm getting seasick." "Here's Benny Boy!" "Hey, look out below!" "Hey, thanks for the ride, ol' paint." " [neighs]" " Take a hike." "Sue, I knew you'd find us." "I never gave up hope, darling." "It's good to see you both." "[Melinda] Get me down." "I can't stand heights." "Bring her down with your invisible force shield." " Johnny and I have work to do." " Right, Reed." "When I give you the signal, inject a flame into that circuit." "But you said you can't stop the suction process." "I'm not going to stop it." "I'm going to accelerate it." " Now!" " I don't get it, but okay." "Quick, everyone back to the rainbow room." "We haven't much time." "[Sue] I don't understand." "[Ben] I never understand nothing he says." "[Reed] Hurry." "Ouch!" "Can't you turn down the barbecue?" "Will you, huh?" "Ooh, ow, ow, ooh!" "[sings nonsensical song]" "[Reed] Miss Forbes, we're back." " Melinda, Doctor Richards..." " [low rumbling] ...Mr. Grimm and whatsisname." "[barks]" "Shut up, Foo Foo." "What's happening?" "I'm a busy person." "I have no more time to waste on this folderol." "Then you'll be glad to see we're returning to the surface." "But how?" "Well, it was impossible to turn off or reverse" "Mole Man's Suction Generator." "But it was a simple matter to reprogram the target of its power." "[Ben] Whoa, whoa, whoa." "Hey, spray that again, big brain." "[Reed] I simply aimed the Generator's power on the Mole Man's kingdom." "[Sue] You mean he goes down as we go up?" "[Reed] Better than that, dear." "It means he stays down." "[strains]" "Ha ha!" "No one bests the Mole Man!" "My power is irresistible!" " [Ben] Hey, we're going down again." " [Sue] No!" "Reed!" "[Forbes] Help!" "Dial 911!" "[Reed] Not to worry." "The Mole Man created the Suction Generator." "It's ironic, but not even he has the power to stop it." "Oh, what?" "No!" "It's not possible!" "Aggghhh!" "[deep rumbling]" " ¶ And on, and on..." " [Reed] It looks like a bright new day." "¶ Flame on I just flame on ¶" "¶ There's Galactus looking hungry" "¶ And Doctor Doom is near" "¶ Here come the Skrulls invading" "¶ Do you run and hide in fear?" "¶ No way, no way, no way" "¶ Just call the Four" "¶ Fantastic Four" "¶ That's all, no more Now, that's grammatical" "¶ Reed Richards is elastic" "¶ Sue can fade from sight" "¶ Johnny is the Human Torch" "¶ The Thing just loves to fight" "¶ Call for the Four" "¶ Fantastic Four"